#i should’ve studied then i would’ve gotten 100% | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daenqyu · 3 years

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— they walk in on their crush changing

includes: bakugou, kirishima, todoroki, midoriya, and tamaki

warnings: kinda suggestive?? swearing

a/n: i saw multiple tiktoks about this and wanted to write something about it sooo yeah. some of them are a bit longer than others because i got carried away oops. hope you guys like it !!

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @orbital-audio )

bakugou katsuki:

listen, i feel like bakugou would act like he doesn’t care at all

but he’s definitely blushing and can’t look at you straight in the eye

he just wanted to let you know that since kaminari and mina forced him to help them study, you could come too

so he made his way to your dorm room while looking at his phone

and he doesn’t even knock so you’re quite startled

although you don’t blame him because he’s always hanging out in your room and vice versa

“hey we’re gonna have a study session later tonight, in case you wanna come” his eyes are glued to his phone as he talks, but you still feel embarrassed that he’s in the same room as you while you’re changing

after a few seconds go by with no response from you, he finally looks up from the device

“i’m talking to you-” the breath gets knocked out of him when he sees you’re in the middle of trying on different outfits

and apparently you were about to try a new one because you’re just in your freaking underwear

bakugou may be a lot of things, but he is not a pervert

so he’s quick to turn around to face the door, his eyes tightly shut even tho he can’t see anything as it is since you’re behind him

“you dumbass, don’t you know how to lock a fucking door?! is not that hard for fuck’s sake”

you almost want to laugh at the blonde’s state

you’ve never seen him like this before so you might as well tease him about it

“didn't your parents teach you it's impolite to enter a room without knocking first?”

oh he can hear the smirk on your face and he wants nothing more than to go up to you and wipe it off himself

but he knows you’re still in your underwear

and while it’s true he’s a gentleman, he’s also a man

seeing his crush in her underwear will most definitely get a reaction out of him

he curls his hands into fists by his side, jaw clenching because he knows you’re probably enjoying this

“just shut up and get dressed”

“is my room, i can stay like this if i want”

“put. something. on”

his tone annoys you

who the hell is he to tell you what to do?

“and what if i don’t want to?”

you’re just buffing of course, you’ve already put on one of bakugou’s shirt that you stole from him a week ago

his patience is running out

and he’s mad at himself because fuck, why does he have to like you so much?

if it was any other girl he couldn’t have cared less and would’ve just walked out

but it’s you, his crush

you’re so different from everyone else and it makes his blood boil because feelings are stupid and he should be focusing on becoming the number one hero, not some silly high school crush

“okay i'm dressed”

a sigh of relief escapes his lips as he turns around, but it doesn’t take long before his eyes are wide open as he takes in your figure

you’re wearing his shirt

it ends just above your mid thigh and it falls around your figure loosely, obviously too big for you

bakugou can feel butterflies in his stomach at the sight

why are you so pretty?

“what was that you were saying when you walked in?”

you’re so calm and collected, walking around with only his shirt on

normally he hates when people wear his clothes, but it looks so good on you he can’t even bring himself to be annoyed

“we’re having a study session tonight,” his voice is low and he fixes his gaze on the wall behind you. “and you can come too, if you want to that is”

“wait that’s a great idea, i’ve been falling behind on english recently”

he nods and you frown at his actions

sure bakugou can be quiet, when he’s not mad, but he looks rather…shy?

you smirk once again, knowing what this is all about

“don’t tell me the bakugou katsuki has never seen a girl naked before?”

“the fuck are you talking about?”

“well is either that or you like me because why else would you be so red right now?”

he groans when you say that

anyways he uhhh got tired of you not getting all the hints he’s been dropping and just straight up corners you against the wall

your heart is about to burst out of your chest at the close proximity and the feeling only intensifies when he smirks

he leans down, lips merely inches away from your own

“seeing as you’re not pushing me away right now, i say you like me too, dumbass”

well he’s not wrong soooo

you end up kissing after that✨

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )

kirishima eijirou:

oh boy, this poor baby

he would be the type to apologize around 100 times and even when you told him it was fine and that you didn’t care, he would still feel guilty

ok so what happened was you were getting ready for your date with kirishima

because yes, he finally asked you out and you couldn’t be happier with life at the moment

and he wanted to know how much longer you were gonna take since he was already done

but you wouldn’t answer his texts

spoiler alert: you were just showering but he was too impatient and also he just wanted to see you again hehe he’s so cute

anyways,,

he makes his way to your room and knocks on the door

it’s more of like a warning because he doesn’t even wait for a response, he just barges in

you had gotten out of the shower like 3 minutes ago and were in the process of drying your hair in the middle of the room, your back facing kirishima

“hey y/n how much longer do you think- shit!”

his voice scares you, but you don’t move because you know it’ll be worse if you do

so you stay frozen in your place

kirishima notices the droplets of water falling from your hair and down your spine before slowly falling down the curves of your-

he flushes completely, his face now matching his dyed hair perfectly, and he turns around with both of his hands covering his eyes

“i’m so so so sorry! that was so unmanly of me. i should’ve just waited until you texted me, but i missed you and wanted to see you so i came over and didn’t wait for an answer and then i saw you and oh god you’re naked and-”

“kirishima,”

he shuts up when he hears your soft voice calling his name

“yeah?”

“calm down”

after that he just stays quiet, trying to calm the erratic beating of his heart and not let his imagination run wild

you should be the one that’s flustered because your best friend and crush just saw your bare ass

but if anything, kirishima’s the one who feels like he’s about to faint from seeing so much skin

he thinks it’s really unmanly of him to see you naked without your consent so he’s on the brink of an existential crisis

meanwhile, as kirishima rethinks all of his life choices, you finish drying your hair and continue to put on your outfit, knowing kirishima wouldn’t turn around any time soon

he’s still facing away from you even when you’ve finished dressing up

you giggle, thinking about how cute he is before tapping his shoulder

“you can look now, kiri”

even with your permission, he’s still hesitant about his movements

he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything so that’s why he genuinely doesn’t know what to do

kirishima turns around slowly, eyes now focused on the floor

“i’m really sorry about that, y/n. i didn’t mean to i swear and i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable but-”

“kiri, i’m not mad at you”

“you’re not?”

“of course not, i know it was an accident”

well thank god because he wouldn’t forgive himself if he made you upset

“besides, you were eventually gonna see me naked”

it was a joke

supposed to be

but kirishima whips his head your way and his eyes almost pop out of their sockets

a part of him is shy sure, but the other part wants to run laps after hearing you say that

“well yeah but that’s different…” he scratches the back of his neck nervously and your heart swells for the boy in front of you

he really is so sweet

he just wants you to be completely comfortable around him

how could you not be in love with him?

“how about we forget this ever happened, i finish getting ready, and then we go on our date? hm?”

he nods eagerly after hearing you say that, if you’re happy then he’s absolutely content

you smile at him before standing up on your tip toes and leaving a chaste kiss against his cheek

of course he blushes again

he’ll never get tired of your cuteness

or you in general

but this time he’s more confident when he pulls you to his chest in a tight hug

“the view was really nice by the way”

“kirishima!”

“what? i'm just saying you should be proud”

“you’re so stupid”

“stupidly in love with you that is”

he’s got a dumb smile on his face after he says that

and it only widens when you take his hand in yours to sit him down on your bed

yup, he’s head over heels for you

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )

todoroki shouto:

out of the five of them, he’d DEFINITELY be the most chill about it

sure, he’d still feel embarrassed and what not

but he wouldn’t make such a big deal about it

simply because he doesn’t want to make things awkward between you two

so he decides it’s best if he just keeps acting like he normally would

you texted him to come over so you could watch some movies together

and he had some homework to do but it’s not like he was gonna pass up on the opportunity of spending quality time with you

unlike the other first years,

todoroki actually knocks and waits for your response

because he has manners, period.

“come on in!”

you said it was okay to come in

so why the hell are you in the middle of changing shirts?????

he wastes no time in closing his eyes

refusing to keep looking at you when you probably don’t even know he’s watching

“um y/n?”

“yes?”

“what are you doing?”

“i’m changing, isn’t it obvious?” your chuckle makes his cheeks heat up

was this amusing to you?

because he was seconds away from having a heart attack

however he doesn’t show it

instead, he just continues to keep his eyes closed while trying to think about literally anything else except your bare skin

key word: trying

because he can’t seem to get the image of your clothed breasts out of his mind and he thinks he’s about to go insane

he also scolds himself because a gentleman shouldnt do that

but you don’t seem to care at all and that confuses him so much (???

“why do you have your eyes closed?”

“are you done changing”

“yeah”

when he opens his eyes again you’re sitting down on your bed, laptop placed in front of you as you scroll down on netflix

now fully dressed

he lets out a sigh of relief before clearing his throat and sitting down next to you

and he thinks he’s being slick and smooth

but he’s not

he’s actually almost completely stiff

and when you subconsciously brush your knee against his, he flinches

you frown at his reaction

“are you okay?”

“yeah, why do you ask?”

“because you’re acting weird”

“am not”

“you are”

the banter goes on for a while until you finally figure it out

the way his eyes occasionally look down on your chest only to quickly look away with a blush on his cheeks it's what gives him away

“wait, are you embarrassed just because you saw my boobs?”

cue todoroki wanting to get the hell out of your room

“i’m not embarrassed”

“your blush says otherwise, todoroki”

he doesn’t know what to say afterwards so he just sits there with a pout on his pretty lips and his eyebrows furrowed

he’s so shy and cute🥺

“if you want to, you can take your shirt off so we’ll be tied”

your tone is teasing as you continue to scroll on your computer, not really giving much thought to what you said

except you forgot todoroki takes everything quite literally

the grin falls from your lips as soon as you see todoroki, indeed, taking off his shirt

“w-what are you doing?!”

“you said we need to be tied”

“todoroki, that was a joke!”

the roles have been reversed because now you're the one who’s all flustered and looking away from him

he blinks once, then twice before smiling at you

“now who’s being shy?”

“i- shut up and watch the movie”

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )

midoriya izuku:

he would die

not literally duh

but he’d want to disappear right then and there

you know that one scene where hatsume is pressed up against him and he blushes a shit ton and is just like “b-b-boobs”?

well yeah he’s like that

except he can barely talk because of how embarrassed he is

he’d also, like kirishima, apologize a lot

he literally just feels like he committed a crime

and you’re like “midoriya, it’s not that deep”

but he’s just upset with himself

you had told him earlier that you needed some help with your homework

and since he’s such a wonderful friend, he didn’t hesitate to tell you that he’d be more than happy to help

so now he’s happily walking to your room because he loves study dates with you

even tho they’re not dates at all

but still

he loves them

especially whenever you get a question right and you just look up at him with big puppy eyes, waiting for him to praise you

and he does

because you deserve it

you work so hard and he admires you for that

ok BAcK to the point,,,

(i’m sorry i just love this man so much, he makes me so soft)

here’s the deal

midoriya knocks on your door right?

but you don’t hear it because you’re blasting music on your speaker while singing your heart out

so he lets himself in

tho he wants to run back out when he sees your naked back is facing him

you’re changing; that’s the first thing he notices

the second thing he notices is that you’re standing in front of a mirror

and you’re not wearing a bra

he yelps before turning around and you jump because you hadn’t noticed him

“izuku? what are you-”

“i’m so sorry y/n! i didn’t mean to invade your privacy like this a-and i didn’t know you were changing and so i opened the door and then i saw you and oh god you’re not wearing a shirt which isn’t bad you know, i m-mean i'm not saying you look bad because ha believe me you don’t but-”

“oh my god dude, would you relax?”

you laugh as you finish putting on your hoodie

he frowns, you’re laughing? in a situation like this?! are you okay???

“again, i’m sorry and it’s okay if you want me to go because it’s weird and i don’t want you to feel uncomfortable because of me so-”

“ok izuku, first of all stop talking,” he quickly shuts his mouth, still facing the closed door so you don’t see his tomato-like cheeks. “second, turn around,” you place your hands on his shoulders to make him look at you and he tenses at the touch, but turns around anyways

you offer him a kind smile, the one that makes him fall harder for you everyday and that’s enough to ease his nerves a bit

“third, quit freaking out. it’s not like i’m gonna kill you or anything”

“b-but how are you so...calm?”

“uhh because i don’t really care?”

he doesn’t know why, but his heart hurts a little after hearing you say that

is not like he expects you to actually reciprocate his feelings but,,

he didn’t have an effect on you whatsoever? not even a little bit?

“and besides, it’s you so i don’t mind”

“what do you mean?”

you shrug, smirking at the green haired boy, “well you like me, right?”

he almost stops breathing

maybe he did for a few seconds

he looks at you, a mix of emotions flashing through his expression

is he relieved? is he scared? is he happy?

he doesn’t k n o w

neverthless, he nods shyly, looking away from your captivating gaze

“and i like you so it’s okay”

midoriya.exe has stopped working

someone PLEASE calm this boy down

he’s about to explode from feeling so much happiness

“you do?!”

“of course” you smile at him one last time, before interlacing your fingers with his and sitting down on the rug next to your bed so you can study

or maybe you got a little carried away and ended up cuddling all evening while eating ramen

but that’s besides the point

( gif isn’t mine !! credits go to its rightful owner )

tamaki amajiki:

sweet little baby

he faints :D

no but seriously

he does.

are we surprised?

nope, not at all

he can’t look at you for more than 5 seconds without getting nervous as it is,

but after he saw you half naked?!

yeah no, that’s too much for tamaki

his body shuts down because he cannot handle it

nejire told him to go check up on you because you seemed off at school

which tamaki also noticed because he’s very observant with people (especially you) but he preferred to not say anything

of course his first response to nejire is straight up: no

he’s too shy

and he’s scared because what if you get mad at him? or tell him to go away?

he thinks it’s better to give you your space and if you want to talk to him, then he’s more than ready to listen

but nejire wouldn’t shut up about it

then mirio butted in too and they were just whining a lot and he got tired of hearing them talk

now here he is, standing in front of your room with a shaky hand hovering against the wooden door

much like todoroki, he knocks and patiently waits for a response

which he receives quickly

“who is it?”

“tamaki”

“ahh tama, let yourself in!”

he blushes at the nickname and finally opens the door

he’s about to go sit on your desk chair or something

but then he sees you

you’re only in your underwear, struggling to put on a hoodie

and then you jump to try and get it on

and that makes it worse because you’re wearing a b r a

long story short,

he falls to the floor :D

the big ‘thud’ startles you and even more so when you see tamaki’s unconscious body on the floor

“shit, tama are you okay?”

it takes him a good 5 minutes to open his eyes again

he feels a cold towel pressed up against his forehead and he frowns at the feeling

when he turns his head around, he notices that he’s laying down on your bed

but you're nowhere to be seen

“thank god you’re awake”

your voice comes from behind him and that’s when he realizes he’s not only laying down on your bed, but also on your lap

“you really worried me!”

cue him blushing like there’s no tomorrow and stuttering

“s-sorry. i was just s-surprised to see you c-changing and i’m sorry i didn’t tell you i was coming b-beforehand”

you shake your head, “that’s okay tama, i’m not mad at you”

he just nods because he’s afraid he’ll say something dumb if he talks

you brush your fingers through his indigo hair and he swears he can feel himself falling more in love with you in that precise moment

you smile down at him

“what did you come here for anyway? not that i mind, but you know”

“nejire told me y-you seemed down today s-so i came to check up on you”

butterflies flutter in your stomach at his sweet words

“aww you’re so sweet, but i’m okay. i was just feeling sad”

he sits up to look at you better and he doesn’t miss the way you pout when his hair is no longer in between your fingers

which makes his heart speed up

“are you okay?”

his question is so genuine and he seems so concerned, it makes you want to keep him in your pocket forever

“i am now”

he smiles at your response, happy that you feel better

“i’m glad”

“now come here, i wanna play with your hair”

and who is he to deny such request?

8K notes · View notes

jindite · 3 years

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BTS BOYS WHEN YOU HAVE A BAD DAY

hello <3 i kinda rushed this one, lol i hope you can still enjoy it tho! i would love feedback since i’m not really sure if this writing is good ! have a nice day <33

boys in this post - Jungkook, Hoseok, Seokjin

Jungkook You felt bad for telling your boyfriend to leave you alone earlier this afternoon, but when you came home from Uni after probably failing the exam which you had studied so hard for, you weren’t exactly in a good mood. You were frustrated, it seemed like the exam only asked questions which you hadn’t prepared for, all the time, effort and sleepless nights you had spent studying for it went to waste. You went into your bedroom a few hours ago, telling your boyfriend you needed some alone time right now, which he respected. He always did. After a few hours, you didn’t hear the soft knock on the door before Jungkook quietly entered the room. “Hey, baby,” he said quietly and sat down next to you on the bed. “How do you feel?” You gave him a half hearted smile. “I really messed it up, Jeongguk. I’m so disappointed,” you said, sighing, as he took your hand into his softly and gave you a kiss on your knuckles. “I’m sorry, babe. Just know you did your best, I know you studied hard for it. And you probably didn’t even do that bad!” he cheered you up with a genuine smile. You weren’t really sure, but just him being there for you comforted you a lot. “Cmon now, don’t let it get to your pretty little head, I ordered us some takeout,” he told you and gave you a kiss to your forehead.

HOSEOK Working in a coffee shop was great, you enjoyed the atmosphere and you got along with all of your coworkers. But that didn’t mean that every once in a while, you wouldn’t get rude customers coming in with seemingly the sole purpose to ruin your day. “.. And then she called for our manager and complained about me! I got a warning from my manger!” you frustratedly told Hoseok, telling him about your day. “You let her ruin your day?” he asked. “What? Of course! You should’ve seen the way she talked to me!” you said and watched him take your face into his hands, squishing your cheeks. “But she left and probably had the best day ever, while you let her ruin yours. Should’ve put salt in her coffee, babe.” he said with a grin plastered on his face, making you laugh. You should have. “I wish I would’ve thought of that!” you said. “I don’t like seeing you sad, pretty. I’ll cook dinner for us, okay? And we can watch movies,” he told you, giving you a kiss. But you pouted, wanting another one, which lead to him giving you what felt like 100 more kisses.

SEOKJIN After getting rejected from your dream job, you were disappointed and sad to say the least. You gotten multiple interviews, just to not be picked, and nothing seemed to easy your frustration. “If you keep frowning like that you’re gonna get wrinkles, angel,” Jin said as he entered the kitchen where you were making yourself a coffee, making you roll your eyes. “What angel has wrinkles?” he laughed and put his thumbs on your temples, massaging you there softly, making you relax a bit and sigh quietly. “Forget the job. To be honest, the old lady at the reception wasn’t nice anyway. Could you imagine having to deal with her everyday if you got the job?” he tried cheering you up, making you laugh a little. “Let’s go for a walk, angel, it’ll calm you,” he said and kissed the tip of your nose.

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kpopinesss · 4 years

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[ateez] S A N ➱ baby daddy au

YOU HAVE TO RAISE HIS SON AFTER HE LEAVES. MAFIA SAN.

warnings: teen pregnancy

a/n: sorry ya’ll I accidentally posted this on my main lol - @atinybitofau

• raising a son on your own was hard.

• raising a son whose genes were on par to his notorious father was even harder—

• a hooligan. a mischievous troublemaker.

• an eyesore in morality.

• and yes, your son was just like him.

• cold. ruthless. blood thirsty.

• but unlike San, your son loved you enough never to leave you.

• appreciated the things you did for him enough to stay.

• “Eomma..”

• you turn on your side when your son interrupts your slumber,

• injuries blatant on his tethered arm.

• raising a child who’s now 13 since you were 16 never easy.

• “Where were you, Ari?”

• he sits at the edge of your bed and leans for the warmth only a mother could give. “I was trying to get your medicine.. but I ended up causing a scene and the store owner kicked me out.”

• you sigh letting him lay down beside you. “It’s just a little cold. You don’t need to go and risk your life to save mine.”

• he wants to ask you.

• he’s old enough..

• why hasn’t his father came back to be the one the take care of you?

• to take care of him.

• why do you have to suffer alone?

• “Ari, just do me a favor and take care of yourself the way you do for me.” you cuddle into your sons warmth too. “That’s all I need.”

• but you’re lying.

• you’re getting sicker.

• and he can’t take it anymore.

• he goes to lower than the low to find something to save you, his mother.

• eventually ending up tied up in San’s gang house.

• brutally beat for intervening a drug heist—

• “Alright you little shit,” San holds your son up by the collar, blood running down his face mixed with his tears. “I don’t care that you’re 13 years old. Hell you could’ve been 10 and I’ll still beat the living crap out of you. No one just comes barging into a drug heist for no reason. That’s not just a coincidence.”

• it is.

• it really is.

• and maybe god was just giving him a sign.

• because you were on the verge of dying—

• and his own son being dealt his life and in the hands of his own father,

• yet San still didn’t know what was going on.

• what sign god was trying to give him.

• “I have to admit.” San runs a finger down his son’s chiseled jaw and smirks. “You’ve got a nice face. But in a couple minutes, you might not even be able to recognize it anymore.”

• “I-I-I was just trying to get medicine for my mom! I swear.”

• San really needed to get a clue.

• not all drugs were recreational.

• and some—

• some can actually save lives not just make dirty money.

• “You think I’ll believe that sissy crap?”

• Ari shudders looking to his torn up jeans. “H-her pictures in my wallet. I swear, she’s the only thing I’ll do anything illegal for. I promise I wasn’t trying to fuck anything up. She’d kill me if I got involved. Kill herself if I pushed myself too far.”

• he’s convinced at the desperation in the poor kid’s voice.

• normally not as merciful but he digs through the kid’s pocket for the picture anyway.

• and he should be glad he did because shit—

• the picture of you made him go from 100 to 0 real quick.

• “Y/n?”

• “T-that’s her! That’s my mom.”

• San glances up at the beat up kid, horrified.

• horrified at the sight.

• that he was basically beating to death a walking replica of himself.

• an age far enough that fit the time he left you.

• “You’re telling me my high school sweetheart..” San’s bloody fingers curl around your picture. “The woman you’ve been trying to steal medication for is your mom? The woman in this picture.”

• he’s at first in denial.

• that the kid he almost beat to death was your son.

• but denial hits him even harder the chances he could also be the father.

• “M-my mom is everything to me.” Ari bawls his last tears out begging for his own father to spare his life. or anything to save yours. “She’s only got me. I’ve only got her. S-sir please. At least save her. If you wanna kill me sir, please save my mom first.”

• his jaw clenches,

• still knealt down on one knee propped in front of his pleading son.

• studying every feature of his face.

• how on par everything was to his own.

• San was beating up his son, he realized.

• holy shit he was about to kill his own son.

• “Why didn’t she tell me?”

• “W-what?” his son chokes. “What do you mean?”

• “Fucking hell— kid, I think I’m your dad.”

• the five days that your son was held captive was long enough for your body to grow cold and weaker.

• laying in a hospital bed nearly blacked out.

• your son cries over your body as you sleep.

• hoping he’s not too late.

• not too late to give you the one thing that might be able to keep you alive.

• a husband?

• finally a father to your child.

• “You’re the husband?” the doctor finds San watching from the doorway awkwardly glancing at the black dressed men who towered behind him. “You’ve got quite the entourage there, sir. But not even an army of soldiers would be able to save your wife right now. She’s hanging on a thin line. Barely holding on. That woman needs a miracle if she wants to live the next good years of her life.”

• San watches as his son that he never knew about cries over you.

• wishes you would’ve told him..

• he would’ve stayed.

• would’ve loved you.

• why were you always so selfish? always wanting to do things that pushed you too far even if there were another option available.

• “Eomma.”

• you hear everything.

• your son.

• San.

• “Ma, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get the medicine. I got into trouble again, ma. I’m sorry.” Ari folds his hand over your limp one’s. “B-but I have something even better. Someone who could help you and me. He can take care of us, ma.”

• it hurts.

• you want to wake up for your son because he deserves the world.

• he deserves a fight for the both of you but the option you chose came short.

• in the past, the option of never telling San in the first place of his own son.

• “Ma.. he’s gonna talk to you okay? I’m gonna let him talk to you.” Ari sniffles and suddenly your hand gets replaced with a different warmth. “He’s gonna tell you it’s gonna be okay. I love you, eomma. I love you. We’re gonna be okay.”

• it’s almost enough.

• your heart beats a little faster.

• burns a little more so you could breathe on your own.

• it’s definitely working.

• “You shoulda told me, bubba.”

• the nickname San had given you years ago,

• a nickname you thought you’d never hear again, rings in your ear and that light so far away,

• it gets further.

• “You shoulda told me about him. About you.” he lifts your hand against his trembling lips. “13 years? 13 years after I tell you to take care of yourself and now you’re almost dying. Come on now. My girl was a fighter. Pushed herself harder than she wanted to.”

• his voice is like a mantra—

• a dream that gives you a little bit more of life you we’re starting to lose.

• “Bubba, you were the love of my life. And I didn’t tell you enough how much I appreciated you. I know it may be too late and if god forbid I do lose you, I will make sure our baby stays safe okay?”

• you think if you were awake right now you’d be crying.

• as if a weight lifted off your shoulders.

• cause the one person who could save you right now—you and your son,

• was right here.

• ready to go merciless to keep you two safe.

• “I left loving you. And I’ll come back loving you. 13 years only kept us apart. But let me tell you, y/n, it never stopped me from loving you.”

• he’s unsure when he lets go of your hand.

• usually gets what he wants with one word—

• cause he’s a notorious mobster.

• but let’s just say you were the one thing he wanted he could’ve never gotten even with two words.

• 3?

• “I love you.” he continues. “And if I’m gonna have to love our son the way I should’ve loved you then so be it.”

• but life’s not like movies where you wake up right during a miracle.

• this miracle takes time.

• and after an EXPENSIVE deal of money and medicine to keep you alive,

• a year it takes for you to finally open your eyes.

• to a nice hospital bed room.

• filled with flowers and the reminiscent scent of old spice and San.

• your hair’s a bit longer.

• the sun’s definitely brighter.

• but not as bright as the smile you see once you turn to the side.

• “Good morning beautiful.” San reaches his forehead against yours. “How were your dreams?”

• you choke on a decent reply. “S-San?”

• “The one and only.”

• “Where’s— Where’s Ari? Where’s my—“

• “Our?” San chuckles softly. “You mean our son.”

• you kind of remember.

• it takes a while to remember the voices and the dreams in your head.

• how waking up to find them real was surreal on its own.

• “He’s at school, bubba.” San cradles your face in the palm of his hand staring at you like he was hypnotized. “I’ll have someone pick him up. Tell him mommy’s awake.”

• “San..” you shake your head in his hand. “How is this real?”

• “Our son might be a miracle worker. Brought us together the way we made him. Brought me so I could keep you alive.”

• cheesy as you remember.

• although this handsome and older version of your old flame you aren’t too sure.

• “So you just show up while I’m in a coma and play daddy while I sleep?” you hoarsely chuckle while he smiles against your lips. “Even after 13 years, you won’t grudge against me for not telling you?”

• “I can’t blame you for trying to save yourselves.” he admits with his lips still on yours. “I wasn’t good enough for you. I know still I’m not. But I’m gonna try this time. Even if I have to pretend I’m not who I am sometimes.”

• you two are interrupted by a crying teenager.

• one you remembered resembled San.

• but now them standing right next to each other,

• looking like two carbon copies and a surreal dream in your head.

• maybe you are dead...

• “Ma!” he shoves his father away abruptly. “Look ma! I brought dad! He helped pay your debt, pays for my school. Even finished the hospital bills.”

• you glare at your always boisterous ex boyfriend and long lost father to your son.

• “You did what?”

• “Did I mention this was my way of getting back at you for not telling me about my 14 year old son?”

• “San how the hell am I gonna pay you back?”

• you just woke up.

• and the doctor runs in ready to sedate to keep you stable for at least more than 24 hours.

• but the way San looks at you is enough.

• him being there like your life long medication itself.

• holding your hand while your son holds your other one proposing,

• “Marry me. And we can call it even.”

@atinybitofau

#ateez #ateez san #choi san #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez scenarios #ateez preferences #ateez oneshot #ateez x reader #san x reader #san imagines #san reactions #san scenarios #san oneshot #san mafia au #ateez mafia au #san baby daddy au #ateez dad au

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stellar-imagines · 4 years

Text

NSFW SCENARIO REQUEST: ❝jealousy bloomed.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Bakugou Katsuki ]

「Scenario where Bakugou and you are dating, but no one knows. You’re quite the popular girl in UA, a lot of boys hit on her and lust over her. It didn’t take long for Bakugou to get pissed off. And he eventually drags you to remind you who you belong to.」

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

Bakugou, surprisingly, didn't want to brag to anyone about the fact that he managed to get a girlfriend. It didn't really bother you at all but it was shocking when he said he wanted to keep quiet about it. He didn't want people asking a lot of questions regarding your relationship. So, you both kept it a secret and it was actually kind of thrilling in a way. Quick kisses after training where you and Bakugou would purposely stay back a bit longer to meet up with one another. On the weekends, you'd both coincidentally go out, making an excuse that you were going to buy something or whatnot. But it only ends up with the two of you going on dates.

No one knows that you're both dating and Bakugou intends to keep it that way. However, it annoyed him that you're quite popular among the males in UA. This guy knows that you're a nice person who talks with people with a smile and always sees the good in people. To top it all off, you were pretty and there were people who actually looks up to you. As a third year student, you had built up quite the reputation, earning admirers from female students and male students. But Bakugou was very unhappy at one specific thing.

"[First Name]-senpai is quite pretty.”

He has heard people complimenting you for your looks and personality. At first, he was pretty smug about it, knowing that the two of you are dating and that those extras will only be able to admire you from afar. But these days, guys are very open with their emotions and don’t seem to care what others think. Bakugou was waiting for you in front of class with plans on training together with you in one of the unused gym. He spotted you in the hallway, a guy standing in your way and attempting to start. The ash blonde narrowed his eyes at the nameless guy.

"Are you sure you don't have a boyfriend, doll?" one of the guys asked.

Bakugou felt his eyebrow twitch. Over the years, he had really mellowed down and he was no longer as the guy who yelled at the littlest things anymore. However, he was known for his intimidating looks and the fits of anger he had occasionally. The ash blonde has gotten better with handling his temper and honestly, he thanks you for that. If he was the same person back then, he would've grabbed the guy by his neck, yelling profanities and threatening to kill him.

"You look really hot in those thigh highs, it shows off your legs."

"Yes, thanks I guess?" you find yourself responding. It happens all the time and you seem to be used to it. Bakugou knows that you're loyal to him and that you have for only him. The guy knows that you'll handle it somehow on your own, after all, he has full faith on you. But it just pisses him off. He wants to run over to beat the shit out of them for talking to you like that.

"Sorry, Katsuki. Thanks for waiting." you skipped over to the blonde who looked irritated. Bakugou was glaring at the two males who were flirting with you. Gazing at him with a confused look on your face, you slowly grasped his hand to gain his attention.

”Is there anything wrong?” you asked him. Bakugou shakes his head furiously. The last thing he wanted was to appear like some annoying, overbearing and childish boyfriend. He had the tough guy image to keep around you.

”Nothing.”

Surprisingly, Bakugou doesn't really express when he’s jealous or not. You were aware of how popular you are in school and it was thanks to the UA School Festival where you were unwillingly signed up for the Beauty Contest. Thanks to that, you earned quite a lot of fans.

Honestly, he gets jealous whenever people hit on you but always forces himself to hold back. There was no reason for him to get jealous, not when you’re always giving him that lovestruck look in your eyes and kissing his cheek whenever you find the chance. Bakugou stared at you while you had your attention on the manga in hand. He studies your features, the way your eyes widen at a sudden turn of events and how you pressed your lips when something interesting happens. It was just so cute. Bakugou found himself pressing your lips with his index finger which earned a confused look from you.

”What’s wrong, Tsuki?” you questioned when he moved to lay down on the bed.

”Nothing at all.” he mutters, cheeks bright red. Its not fair that just from hearing you call him with an endearing he can turn into a blushing mess. He hears you close your book and felt you moving around. Just as he was about to get up, you laid right on top of him, resting your head on his chest.

”Sorry that I haven’t been giving you attention. Are you upset?” you asked innocently.

Bakugou released the breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding in. Now he felt like an idiot for being jealous and angry at the people flirting at you. The male sighed, running his hand through your hair before wrapping his arms around your body. The last straw was what happened today.

You remembered that the weather was exceptionally nice and commented on how it was the perfect weather to go on a date. Bakugou rolled his eyes in response and told you that he's not taking you on one. A laugh escaped your lips when he said that, you told him that it was a joke. Although, it would be nice to go on a date with your boyfriend. But you were both busy with school and all that. The ash blonde seemed to be pointing fingers at you though. He said that since you were whining about going on a date, he would take you to your favorite ramen shop later to shut you up. You giggled, knowing that he was just making excuses to take you out. After all, you never whined about anything.

Uraraka and Ashido greeted you by the school entrance. Both you and Bakugou joined the two girls and headed to your respective shoe boxes to retrieve your indoor shoes. When you opened the small door, you spotted a light blue colored letter sitting atop your shoes. It didn't even take you long to realize what this meant. While the girls teased you for such a popular girl, Bakugou seemed displeased by this. No one knew about your relationship with Bakugou and only assumed that you two were close friends. You mentioned that you wanted to buy a drink right after this and waved at the girls who decided to go on ahead.

"Another shitty love letter?" you heard your boyfriend's voice behind you.

"Come on, its not shitty. It takes a lot of courage to write something like this you know." you smiled gently at the boy who followed you the entire way to the vending machine at the end of the corridor.

"Look, I'm gonna turn them down nicely at the back of the school and we can eat ramen afterwards." you fiddled around with your coin pouch and bought a drink from the machine while the male leaned against the wall with an annoyed look on his face. He really didn't like how popular you were with guys and to this day, he's kind of surprised that you wanted to be his girlfriend. Of course he wasn't complaining at all. Besides, dating in secret is quite fun in a way. Bakugou was snapped out of his trance when he felt you peck his cheek.

"Don't be so pouty, Tsuki. Wait for me after school okay?" you smiled before skipping ahead.

Bakugou found himself waiting nearby. He was tapping his foot while looking through his phone. You had left earlier, telling him that you would meet up with him as soon as possible. He has spotted you walking to the back of the school and quietly followed you without you knowing. With his back against the concrete wall and his bag placed on the ground, he pretended to look busy but in reality, he was trying to listen to the conversation between you and this extra. Though it annoyed him how this extra is dragging on his confession, he was somewhat glad that he had decided to wait nearby.

"Go out with me, [Last Name]-senpai.”

This guy pissed him off, alright.

"Thank you, I really appreciate your feelings but sorry, I don't feel the same way as you do." It was almost like you were an actress from a drama. The line sounded like you have practiced it over and over. And honestly, it was the same response you would give to the people who confessed to you.

”Are you perhaps dating anyone right now?” he asked further.

”Eh? No but—“

”Then think about it. I’ll cherish you properly. After all, someone as pretty as you should be treated like a princess.” the guy added, which made you awkwardly laugh in response. When he started moving closer to you, the first instinct was to back away. The moment your back hits the wall, you mentally scolded yourself for telling Bakugou to wait for you elsewhere. Honestly, the chances of you having to deal with a persistent person like this is very low. But you should've considered the possibility.

”If you date me, I'll treat you right. I've experienced a lot of things, you see." he lightly grabbed your chin to make you turn to him. When you felt his arm around your waist, you instantly knew that it was time for you to make your leave.

"Well—“

"Hey."

The voice itself made you and the guy shudder. Honestly, you were supposed to feel relieved that Bakugou came by to actually save you from this predicament. However, just from the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes, you could tell that you were probably in trouble as well. Your class has gained quite the reputation and everyone seems to know Bakugou as the cool and intimidating third year student. Even for Bakugou who has started to control his anger better than before, he lost his patience the moment that extra put his hands on you.

"You're 100 years too fucking early to be asking her out." Bakugou said, grabbing your wrist and dragging you away.

You felt stupid for actually believing that he would keep silent and remain calm. Honestly, you were quite surprised that he lasted this long. A relieved sigh left your lips when you finally left the scene and rejoined with your boyfriend. The odd silence between the two of you somehow made you uneasy. It was supposed to be something that you often did but this was completely different. Bakugou ignored the greetings from your fellow classmates who were relaxing in the common area and you made up some dumb excuse about needing to study together or whatnot.

"Tsuki?"

“That fucking extra had the nerve to touch you.” Bakugou’s voice was right in your ear which made you shudder. His voice was low and it wasn’t hard to hear that he was really pissed.

Before you could even say anything, he kissed you. He was quite rough with it too. You weren’t given a chance to match his rough and unbelievably fast pace. It felt like you were going to melt from how good it felt. His tongue was dominating your mouth, forcing its way into your mouth aggressively. Your hands threaded themselves into his hair, tugging lightly as you moaned into his mouth. The instant Bakugou pulled away, his lips instantly attached themselves to your neck.

He growled, his teeth nipping at the flesh of your neck. You gasped in response, losing yourself in the feeling of his mouth attacking your neck. At the same time, his hands made quick work of your uniform, unbuttoning the buttons expertly and took off your clothes. His hands trailed up, running up your skin to grope your breasts. The sudden attack made you weak on the knees and when his hands pulled away, you were in a daze. You never knew you craved for his touch and you could imagine and feel the lewd things he would do to you — having his fingers thrusting into your cunt while he licks at your clit, making you beg shamelessly for him to fuck you with his cock which will result with him fucking you so roughly that will leave your muscles sore for a few days.

”Your ears are sensitive right?” he pulled your earlobe with his teeth while his hands wandered around your body, groping at your flesh lewdly.

”Down here too.” he smirked devilishly while rubbing his fingers against the crotch of your damp panties. The mewl that left your lips didn’t go unnoticed and Bakugou wasted no time ridding you of your skirt and panties. Just one step backwards had you pinned up against the door with your boyfriend towering over you as if to assert his dominance.

"You're already this wet. I know that you like it rough."

He slid his fingers down your thighs, spreading your legs apart slowly to expose your glistening folds to him. He let his fingers ghost over your lower lips, spreading them slighting before you slid one finger inside. It was enough for you to shudder and moan. He started with one finger before adding another one into the fray. Your head knocked against the door and you allowed yourself to moan. Thrusting two fingers inside your cunt, Bakugou set a fast pace that had you twitching and moaning in pleasure. You held onto his shoulders for dear life, legs shaking and panting heavily.

”K-Katsuki.....” your face was red as a tomato and your head was spinning.

"You're already dripping here. My fingers feel good don't they?" without having to look at him, you could already see that smug grin on his face.

You had your eyes screwed shut when Bakugou decided to step up his game. He let out a low growl before flicking his tongue over your clit and your folds, making your hips raise as a loud moan leave you. He can’t help but let himself drown in your melody, the cries of his name and unfathomable pleasure were music to his ears. He allows you to thrust against his face which effectively pushes more of his tongue inside your velvety walls. The contrast you felt from your back pressed against the cool door and the heat between your thighs was such a pleasurable feeling.

“Hm, you’re making such cute noises. Does my fingers feel that good inside your cunt?" he teased, pushing his fingers all the way in until it hit that one particular spot inside you.

"Ah! Haa.....Wa-Wait! I'm going to come already......" the lewd squelching that resulted from his fingers pushing in and out of your pussy made you even more embarrassed. Bakugou watched in delight as you began squirming, nails digging onto the flesh of his shoulders while his tongue moved sinfully against your clit.

Your back arches up towards him and your hips quiver in pleasure as he continues to finger you through your climax. Cries of his name echoed in the room and you were certain that anyone within the vicinity could hear your cries. While you came down from your high, Bakugou stood up and began to unfasten his pants. You gasped when you felt his hard cock pressed against your skin and his lips on your ear, nipping at the lobe.

"My fingers are soaked, you came so much, did it feel that good?" his fingers were evidently soaked in your essence and at that moment, you thought to yourself — was is that necessary to show you that?

“You’re gonna take responsibility for making me hard aren’t ya, princess?” he growled into your ear, teeth tugging at the lobe lightly. You hummed and gave a nod in response, not trusting your voice.

Bakugou looked down at where you were kneeling on the floor between his spread thighs. His pants were unbuttoned with his cock out, his large hand wrapped around the base of his thick length as he leisurely stroked himself. Precum dripped from the tip, down the shaft to meet his hand. Your eyes followed it, subconsciously licking your lips at the thought of having the taste of him on your tongue. Bakugou groaned at the sight of you, grabbing hold of his shaft and licking at the tip like a kitten.

“Such a good girl." he threaded his fingers through your hair and tugged you closer, urging you to take more of him into your mouth.

You took his cock into your mouth without any complaints, choking when you A low groan erupted from his throat at the sensation of your warm mouth enveloping his length. Your eyes fluttered back into your skull as you finally tasted him. You set a pace not too fast yet not too slow, making sure to not let your teeth hit him. It wasn't a comfortable position with your knees against the cold laminated floor. You took much as you could, a little more than half of his length and your hand made up for whatever you couldn't fit in your mouth. It didn't take you long to relax and take his entire length inside your mouth, bobbing your head slowly before taking it out.

Bakugou threw his head back when your tongue licked up the underside of his dick while fondling his balls. He looked down to see you peering up at him with those lust filled eyes that drove him absolutely insane. He grabbed onto your hair tighter and guided your mouth back onto his aching cock. You set a slow pace at first but it didn't last long when he began to buck his hips into your mouth. His thrusts grew more desperate and it didn't take long for him to take the reigns over this situation. He pushed your head further onto his cock until the tip hit the back of your throat.

"Fuck your mouth feels so damn good. You're taking it so damn deep." Just before he could let loose into your mouth, he was tearing you away from his cock. A loud popping sound emitted as you released him from your mouth. You felt dizzy, whether it was from being deprived from air or from the pleasure he had given you — it was hard to tell.

With constant training, Bakugou became strong and he was able to effortlessly pick you up. You were starting to gain feeling in your legs despite having such an intense orgasm earlier. He captured your lips into a kiss while his hands gripped onto the back of your thighs. You were backed onto the wall, chests pressed together as your tongue danced. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him deeper into the kiss. He had his left hand against the door while his other was around his cock which was prodding against your soaked entrance. He filled you slowly using his free hand to guide you down his length.

"F-Fuck, you feel so tight around me...." Bakugou bucked his hips, letting out a groan at the feeling of your pussy walls fluttering around his cock.

"Aaaah! It's deep inside....!" you moaned loudly when he was buried all the way to the hilt. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes at the sensation of being so full. Bakugou grabbed your ass and began thrusting into you feverishly. He latched himself onto your neck, biting down hard and sucking on your skin to leave a mark. He had his eyes glued on your face the entire, watching as you slowly lose into the world of pleasure. Your cheeks were red, eyes unfocused and your mouth was hanging open, moans and pants spilling out from them. It was truly a sight worth a billion yen.

"Just a little bit more. Hold onto me properly." he buried his head onto your neck and pushed in deeper. All you could hear was your own moans, his groans and the sinful noise of your skin slapping. You heed his advice, digging your nails onto his shoulder hard enough to leave marks. Narrowing his eyes, Bakugou thrusts faster while you throw your head back against the door.

"Wait! It's too fast! Aaah, Katsuki.....Hyaaaah!" your entire body shuddered at the feeling of his cock throbbing deep inside you.

"Feels fucking good right....Mnmm, you're all hot and tight just for me. Those extras who're always lusting over you will never get to see you like this. Tell me, baby. Who do you belong to?" Bakugou's gaze was like fire and if you gazed at him for a long period of time, you'd surely burn.

"Yours, Katsuki.....I'm.....Aaaah.....all yours!"

"Good girl." he whispered, capturing your lips into a searing kiss. Your moans were muffled and you couldn't imagine how loud it would've been. Just thinking about it made you feel embarrassed so you quickly shook away the thought.

The feeling of his hips snapping against yours and his cock pushing into your cunt repeatedly was starting to become unbearable. The knot inside your stomach finally snapped and you scream out his name one last time while Bakugou let out a groan of your name. Bakugou felt your insides clench around him tightly, twitching and pulsating like crazy as your fluids began to coat his hard cock. He hissed through clenched teeth, pulling out from you as he came all over your stomach.

You let out a sigh as you finally came down from your high. Bakugou slowly lowered you back to your feet only for you to slide down against the door, your legs completely weak and feeling like jelly. You heard the sound of water running and you assumed that he was cleaning himself up in the bathroom. He returned wearing a new set of clothes and a damp towel which he placed at the bedside before walking over to you. With a small glare, you moved your thighs together, pressing them up in an attempt to cover yourself up.

"Thanks to you I can't even get up." you grumbled with an annoyed look on your face. If this was your attempt to be mad at him, you gotta do better than that because this guy thinks that you're being fucking adorable with that pout on your face.

"Feels too good that you can't even feel your legs, huh?"

"Stop making fun off me and help me up." you huffed, outstretching your hands for him to pull you up.

Bakugou picked you up and put you on his bed. On the side of the table, there was a towel which he picked up before sitting in front of you. He took responsibility of cleaning you up with the towel while you laid down on his bed in exhaustion. You sighed and rolled around in the bed, it would be nice if you could just fall asleep right there without worrying about anything. But alas, you were interrupted by the sound of your stomach growling. It took you a while to remember that you both didn't eat anything when you got home. Bakugou glanced at the clock to see that it was past dinner time.

The two of you decided to head to the kitchen to get something to eat. Much to your surprise, a lot of people are still around but the moment you arrived, they were staring at you both. There was Midoriya and Jirou who was doing everything they could do to avoid looking at you. Upon closer inspection, you noted that their cheeks were slightly red.

"What are you idiots staring at?" Bakugou narrowed his eyes at the closest person which happened to be Kaminari.

"Well! We didn't mean to! I mean, it is by accident so we did nothing wrong right? It's an accident!" Kaminari was avoiding Bakugou's gaze, in fear of being yelled at for saying stupid things — which happened quite often.

"You guys weren't exactly......quiet." Kirishima rubbed the back of his head.

"I'm surprised you could do something like that with people around." Sero muttered.

"But we were at the 4th floor?! Was I that loud?" you cried out, burying your face into Bakugou's back in embarrassment.

Total: 4102 words Published: 17.08.2020

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ As you all can see, we got carried away. It’s been a while since we actually wrote a smutty scenario for our lovely readers. So it’s a bit rusty. But we do hope you all enjoyed it! ― author Lou

Thank you for requesting! It’s already mid-August and its just a day away from the day we will reopen out ask box. We’ve actually updated our blog, changed our theme and all that. The new features can only be seen through desktop. We do hope that these features (upcoming events, status) actually help everyone somehow!― author Natsuki

Requests are closed for now! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

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emm-jayy · 4 years

Text

sabotage - Spencer Reid

Summary: You start having a ton of bad luck, and you can’t figure out why

warnings: drugs (opioids, narcotics) but no actual use. gunshot

“God, I’m so sorry i’m late.” You say, setting your bag down, “My power went out last night, and my alarm didn’t go off.”

You hated being late, and since you were the newest person on the team, you definitely didn’t want to ruin what little reputation you had. You had been there almost a year, but it does take a lot for this team to trust a new comer.

“It’s alright Y/n, just try not to let it happen again.” Hotch says. “We’ve got about two or three days before we get our next case. Do any paperwork you need to catch up on, and mainly just relax. Good work these past weeks.” He finishes.

You sigh a sigh of relief. You really didn’t want to have to do too much work these coming days. You loved your job, but doing all of this work could get exhausting.

You take your bag from the conference room down to your desk in the bullpen, and begin working.

A few hours into your shift, you hear someone call your name. You look up from your desk, and see a mailman.

You get up, and head over to him. It wasn’t too unusual to get packages at work, especially if you listed the building on a form of some kind.

You sign for the package, and tell the mailman to have a nice day.

You head back to your desk to open the package. It was pretty small, and it looked nice enough, maybe like it had gotten beaten up in the postal service a bit.

You open up the box with a small letter opener on your desk, and then your stomach drops.

You recognize the bottle, and the contents inside.

Hydrocodone. One of your weaknesses back in the day. Beside it, there is a note, scrawled in horrid handwriting that reads, “Miss me?”

“Hey, Y/n, do you have that paper that you needed to sign?.” Spencer Reid walks up to your desk, luckily where he cannot see the inside of the box.

Still, you freak out and close the box a little too frantically, “Jeez, give a girl a warning before you walk up like that.” You say, searching your desk for the paper.

“I’m sorry, you seemed distracted and I really need that paper.” He says, shifting on his feet.

“Yeah, I get it. Just give me a second to find it.” You snap, still looking for the paper, “Here.” You say, setting it near him.

When you look up, you see a confused look on Spencer’s face. “Are you okay?” He asks, looking at you with a knowing look on his face.

“Yes, Spencer, I’m fine.” You say, hoping he’ll just buy it and leave. He does, and turns to walk back to his desk.

You sigh, and look at the box again. You take it, and shove it into your bag.

The next day, you walk into the office late, again. Hotch looks at you, arms crossed.

“I’m sorry, I had more bad luck. There was no hot water in my building.” You huff.

“One more time, and we’re going to have a serious talk.” Hotch says, walking back into his office.

“Hey, Y/n, there’s a package on your desk.” Morgan says, pointing towards it. You huff, and look at the package.

You see it’s a similar small box just like yesterday, with the same address. You looked it up last night, and it was just an old warehouse. You assumed it had little to no significance to whoever was sending you these packages.

You open up the box, careful to make sure no one else sees inside. This time, it’s a bottle of Oxycontin, with a note that said, “come talk to an old friend.”

You once again, shove the box into your work bag, and try your best to ignore it for the day.

The day is almost the same as yesterday, except for as you’re getting up to get coffee, you run into Reid.

“Did you know that the average cup of coffee has about 100 milligrams of caffeine?” He says, leaning against the counter, “And that caffeine is the United States most popular drug? With over 90 percent of Americans consuming it in some form. It’s also one of the easiest drugs to get addicted too since it’s so accessible.” He says, ironically drinking his own coffee.

“It’s definitely easier to get addicted to other things.” You mutter under your breath.

“What was that?” Reid asks, searching your face.

“Cool facts Reid!” You say, a tight smile on your face, and you begin to walk over to your desk.

“I have more if you’d like!” He says, a joyous look on his face, “For example, did you know the average age people start drinking coffee is age 12?” He says as you sit down at your desk.

“Reid, as much as I’d love to hear more facts about my favorite beverage, I’ve got to finish this.” You say, gesturing to the pile of work you have.

“Of course.” He says, heading back to his own, that was near yours, “Thank you for listening.” He says, softer than he usually speaks.

“Always, Spence.” You reply, looking into his eyes.

The next day is the third day in a row that you’re late. You begin to explain to the team the exact reason, that your car had run out of gas, when you see Hotch standing at your desk.

“Y/n, I need to see you in my office. Now.” He says, and begins to walk toward his office. The team gives you sympathetic looks, and you look down towards the floor, your face turning pink. You set your bag down by your desk, and head up the stairs.

After you shut the door to Hotch’s office, you immediately begin your apology.

“I’m so sorry sir, I have no idea what’s been wrong lately. It’s just a string of really bad luck. I understand that this is a professional environment and I shouldn’t be late, but-” You notice that Hotch’s hand is raised, telling you to stop. You fall silent.

“That’s not what I need to talk to you about.” He begins to explain. You let out a sigh of relief, maybe a bit too soon.

“There’s no easy way to say this Y/n.” Hotch sighs, looking down. “You failed your drug test. They found traces of Hydrocodone and Oxycontin in your urine.” Hotch finishes, looking up at you.

“W-What? That’s not possible.” You say, mostly to yourself.

“Y/n, I was able to look over your past when you applied for this job. I figured that you were too good of an agent to deny simply because of a drug problem years ago. But if you’re going to go and be careless-”

“If I had relapsed, I would’ve taken myself off of the team.” You say, looking at Hotch, “I have not been careless, but I have been keeping something from you all.” You say, digging your phone out of your pocket.

“For the past two days, someone has been sending me packages here. One was filled with a bottle of Hydrocodone, the other Oxycontin. Along with those, were these notes.” You say, showing him the handwritten notes.

“There’s no way it’s a coincidence that the same pills they’ve been sending me showed up on my drug test.” You shake your head, “I apologize for not coming to the team sooner, I thought I could do this on my own.”

“Where are these drugs now?” Hotch says, looking up at you.

“I threw them away, I should’ve kept them I know.” You say nervously.

Hotch sighs, studying the pictures. “I’m going to have to suspend you, that part is out of my hands. But I will get the team on this today. It’s okay if I tell them about your past?” He asks, looking up at you with sympathetic eyes, a rarity for him.

You let out a breath, and then nod, “They would’ve found out eventually.” You look out the window of Hotch’s office, looking at the team fraternizing. What would they think of you? Would they shame you? Understand? Reid would probably rattle off some statistics about suspended FBI agents. You almost smile at the thought.

“Alright then. Leave your badge and gun on my desk, and I, or any member of the team, will contact you when we have something.” You nod, and place your gun down, and pull your credentials out of your wallet.

You exit the office, and prepare yourself for the questions you’re about to be asked. You decide to let Hotch tell them, and answer the questions later.

You collect yourself, and walk down to your desk to grab your bag. You keep your eyes down, until Morgan decides to speak up, “Hotch come down on your ass for being late a few times?” He laughs lightly.

You offer a tight-lipped smile to Morgan, “Totally, that’s what happened.

You walk over to Spencer, who’s sitting on top of his desk, “Don’t solve too many cases without me.” You say, a hand on his shoulder.

“Wait, where are you going?” Spencer asks, turning towards you.

“Hotch will tell you guys. You all have my number, I’ll see you soon.” You offer a smile to the team of confused faces.

You walk out of the BAU doors, and into the elevator. You pull out your phone to get an uber, the same way you cake to work today, when someone else steps into the elevator.

“Hey.” Spencer says softly, “I couldn’t let ya leave without hearing from you why you’re leaving.” He says, looking down at his feet.

“Spencer?” You say, trying to meet his eyes. “Yeah?” He replies.

“How many suspended agents get to come back into the field?” You ask, a nervous look on your face.

“53 percent. Why do you- Oh.” He realizes why you’ve asked. Just then, the elevator dings, and you step out, and open the doors to the front of the building, still trying to get an uber.

You sigh, and sit down on the curb to wait for the uber. You hear the sliding of shoes on the concrete, and then, Spencer is beside you.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks, looking towards you with squinted eyes.

“No.” You sigh, wiping a frustrated tear away from your face. You weren’t typically the emotional type. “I’d rather have Hotch tell you all.”

“Okay. If you need anything, call me.” He says, standing up, and walking back into the FBI building.

“I know I said today would also be a paperwork day, but meet me in the briefing room. We’ve got a case.” Hotch says, addressing the bullpen, as Spencer walks back into the room.

Everyone stands up, and follows Hotch to the briefing room.

Once everyone is settled, Hotch begins.

“Over the past few days, Agent Y/L/N has been receiving drugs in the mail, along with handwritten notes. One said ‘miss me’ and the other ‘Come talk to an old friend’.” Hotch says, showing the pictures you had taken on the screen.

“And then, today, Y/L/N’s drug test came back, and she had tested positive for Hydrocodone, and Oxycontin.”

The faces of the team say it all, confusion, and disbelief.

Hotch attempts to ignore it, and brings up an even more hard to believe subject. “The problem with this is, Y/n used to be addicted to both of those drugs, so the Bureau is going to come down onto her. They’ve already made me suspend her.” Hotch clears his throat. “When I interviewed her, Y/n made it very clear she was off of those drugs. I thought it was stupid to deny such a good agent over an addiction that happened years ago. And I still believe that, so we are going to work to see who is doing this to agent Y/L/N.”

The team looks at each other, still in disbelief, until something interrupts them.

A mailman at the door, holding a box, “Package for Y/n?” He says. Morgan is immediately up, taking the box.

The whole team gets up as Morgan sets the box onto the table. He tears it open, and the team is met with yet another bottle, and a note that says, “Don’t be a stranger.”

“Reid, what is this?” Morgan asks, holding up the bottle. Spencer was still sitting down, looking at the small case file. He was in a daze of disbelief still.

“Reid!” Morgan says, louder this time. “Hm?” He looks up.

“What is this?” Morgan asks again, gesturing to the bottle.

Spencer grabs the orange bottle, “It looks like Vicodin. One of the easiest opiates to get addicted to.” He replies, handing the bottle back to Morgan.

“Okay, so we know that the unsub doesn’t know Y/l/n has been suspended. Otherwise they would be sending the boxes to her apartment.” Rossi says.

“It’s routine to investigate suspensions. But please, try to keep this as quiet as possible. I don’t want anything getting messed up to the point that Y/n can’t come back to the team.” Hotch says, looking around at the team.

“Alright. Garcia, I want you working people from Y/L/N’s past. Anyone who would know where she works now. Rossi and JJ, I want you guys looking at the address on the boxes and seeing if there’s any connection to the unsub. Morgan and Prentiss, look at the handwriting, and see if it matches anything we’ve seen from the list that Garcia gets. Reid, help them with that, and then, I want you to go to the Urinalysis lab to see if anyone could’ve tampered with the drug test.” The whole team disperses, but Spencer stays still.

“Reid, you okay?” Hotch asks.

“It’s just always the ones you least expect.” Spencer says, looking down at his shoes. Hotch looks at him, and then leaves, off to do his own thing.

Spencer pulls out his phone, and brings up your number. You two had never texted outside of work matters, and here he was, nervous as all hell just to text you.

“Just found out, how are you doing?” He types, and sends it. Nerves rack throughout his body, why the hell is he so nervous?

“I’m doing okay. What is Hotch having you do?” He reads. Spencer sighs, back to work talk.

“I’m helping with some handwriting matching and profiling, and then I’m going down to the Urinalysis lab to see if anyone tampered with your test.” He writes, and puts his phone in his pocket. He’s about to walk out of the door, whenever his phone starts buzzing.

He gets his phone out of his pocket once again, and realizes it’s you. He looks at his phone with wide eyes. He clears his throat, and smooths out his shirt, getting ready to answer the phone. He presses the button, and brings the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” He answers.

“Hey Spencer, sorry for calling, I just needed to hear you saying something.” You confess.

“Yeah, anything. What is it Y/n?” He asks, almost blushing at the fact that you’d call him. You two didn’t even talk that much, but he still very much enjoyed the conversations you did have.

“Can you promise to tell me anything important, as soon as you find out? I don’t want to be left in the dark.” You say into the phone.

Spencer smiles into the phone, “Of course sweetheart.” He says, but then freezes. Why’d he call you that? Why? He clears his throat, “Anyway, I better get going, I want this over as soon as possible.” Spencer says.

“Right, call me later?” You ask.

“Call you later. Bye Y/n.” He says, not really wanting to hang up.

“Bye Spencer.” You reply. He hangs up the call, and finally heads out the door.

He heads down to where Morgan and Prentiss are, and begins to look at the handwriting. It was crude, but in an odd way.

“I think the unsub might’ve written this in their wrong hand.” Spencer says, “I mean that’s a pretty good way to disguise handwriting, it’s very difficult to tell personality traits. But based on that, I think this unsub is pretty smart.” Spencer nods.

“I’ve got to get down to the lab, if you need anything, call me.” Spencer says, walking towards the door.

He gets in his car, and heads to the Urinalysis lab.

“So, is there any way that the test could’ve malfunctioned?” Spencer asks the man who tests all of the urine.

“I highly doubt it. We get false negatives sometimes, but almost never false positives.” The man in the lab coat says, looking at a chart. “I also believe we tested your agent's urine twice. That’s protocol for law enforcement and FBI if there’s a positive.”

“Thank you. Do you know how long it takes for samples to get here after the samples have been given?” Spencer asks.

“Couldn’t be more than a few days. Since we do monthly to bimonthly testing for you folks, they aren’t in the biggest rush.” The man says.

“Who transports the samples here?” Spencer asks.

“I don’t really know, a few different men have come in here.” The man says, seeming a bit nervous.

“Okay, thank you sir.” Spencer says, and walks out of the lab.

Spencer gets into his car, and pulls out his phone, dialing your number.

“Hello?” You answer, nervousness in your voice.

“Hey Y/n, I just got finished at the lab.” Spencer says, buckling his seatbelt.

“What did you find out?” You ask.

“Basically, a lot of people could have handled your sample. The guy at the lab wasn’t too helpful. I do know that the sample they tested definitely tested positive. I suspect that someone along the way either switched out the urine, or something like that. I think it’s a deadend to go through everyone who might’ve touched it though.” Spencer explains.

“Okay, thank you for telling me. Have you heard anything else from the team?” You ask, and Spencer can almost imagine you biting your nails.

“No, not anything that could lead us in the right direction, i’m sorry Y/n.” Spencer answers.

“No, it’s fine. Thank you anyway. I’ll talk to you later?” You ask.

“We will, bye Y/n.”

“Bye Spencer.” You hang up the phone, and toss it aside with a sigh.

You stand up, and head to your kitchen. You stand there for a while, contemplating what to eat. You decide you can’t eat anything at a time like this, and go back to the couch you were sitting on before.

You sit by the phone, just awaiting a call. He just called you, but yet you’re nervous for another one.

It would’ve made more sense for you to ask Garcia to call you with updates, as the most information goes through her, but you felt as if Spencer would be the most honest with you. You totally weren’t biased in any way…

Then, there was a knock at your door. You furrow your eyebrows, and head to the door.

“Ma’am? This is Agent Jones from the FBI. I have some paperwork you need to fill out.” You hear the man call through the door.

You look through the peephole, and sure enough, there’s a man standing there with a file in his hand.

“Could you hold up your badge to the peephole please?” You ask, still looking through the peephole.

“Of course ma’am.” He says, holding up his wallet to the door. The badge looks fine, so you undo the chain and open the door.

“Hi, come in.” You say, opening the door wider, and you go to the other room to grab a pen.

“Why didn’t Hotch just give me this paperwork before I left the building today?” You ask, confused, and take the file.

“Oh, everything was so hectic, with them working on your case and all, Hotch sent me down here to give this to you.” Agent Jones explains.

You sit down on your couch, and fill out the short form. You sign your name, and stand up to hand the file back to him.

“Thank you ma’am!” The agent smiles, taking the file from your hands, and turning towards the door. “Oh, and one more thing.” He says, turning back around.

The agent grabs the gun from his holster, aims it at your abdomen, and shoots. The silencer is one, so not much noise comes out.

You stand in shock for a moment, clutching the wound, and then begin to cough as you fall. The agent scurries out of your apartment.

As your vision blurs, you reach to your phone and unlock it. Unable to do anything else, you dial the most recent number in your call list, Spencer.

“Hello.” Spencer calls into the phone. When all you respond with is a cough, Spencer speaks again. “Y/n? Are you okay?”

“Shot… in apartment.” You muster, groaning at the pain.

“Oh fuck okay.” You hear Spencer call for someone to get an ambulance to your apartment, that’d you’d been shot. “I’m getting an ambulance there right now Y/n. I need you to hold on for me. Can you just keep talking to me?” He asks, frantically into the phone.

“Yes.” You reply, but your words slur, so it comes out like “yesh.”

“Okay good, now where are you shot Y/n?” Spencer asks.

You attempt to answer, but your eyes fall shut, and you begin to lose consciousness. The last thing you hear before you lose it completely, is Spencer calling your name.

The whole team looks at Spencer, when a horrid look comes across his face.

“She’s not answering me anymore.” He says, “Y/n? Y/N!” Spencer cries into the phone.

“Hey, hey hey, kid, it’s going to be alright. The ambulance is coming to her.” Morgan comes up to him, taking the phone from Spencer.

He looks up to Morgan with watery eyes, “What if she dies, and I never said how i felt about her?” He asks, a single tear falling down his face.

“Hey, come here pretty boy, it’ll be okay. As soon as we know which hospital she’s being taken too, we are all going there.” Morgan says, taking Spencer into a hug.

Spencer nods, wiping his tears away. The team sits in wait for awhile, until Hotch gets a phone call.

“She’s at Fort Washington Medical Center.” Hotch says after hanging up the phone. The whole team is up, and going out the doors to head to the hospital.

When the whole team arrives, Spencer is the first to go to the medical desk to ask for your name.

“She’s in surgery right now. I’ll tell you updates when I can.” The nurse at the desk says, checking a chart.

Spencer sighs, running his hand through his hair. He relays the message to the team, and a lot of them collapse into chairs in the waiting room.

The whole team sits in wait, until a doctor comes out.

“Are you waiting for Y/N?” The doctor asks. Spencer stands up, “Yes we are.”

“Okay, they are closing her up right now. The surgery had some bumps, but we were able to stop the bleeding.” The doctor smiles, and everyone lets out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you so much doctor.” Spencer says, shaking his hand.

“Are you her boyfriend? Because I can let the nurses know to have you in the room as soon as she wakes up.” The doctor says, genuinely trying to help.

“What? No, I’m not- I’m not Y/n’s boyfriend.” Spencer says, laughing nervously. Morgan comes up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Have him be the first one in the room.” Morgan nods towards the doctor.

The doctor smiles, and leaves the waiting room.

“You’ve got to tell her how you feel man.” Morgan says, and Spencer nods.

30 minutes later, a nurse tells Spencer that you should be waking up soon. He gets up, and follows the nurse to your room.

He walks into your room, and takes in the scene. You somehow still look so beautiful, even after taking a gunshot wound.

He takes a chair, and sets it by your bed. Spencer sits in nervousness as he waits for you to wake up.

He sees your eyes slowly open, and how they drift towards him.

“Spence.” You say, a soft smile on your face, and then your expression changes. “Spence.” You say more frantically. “It’s an agent, and agent is the one who did this. I have no idea how I didn't see it-” You start.

“Hey.” Spencer says, putting his hand on yours. “Morgan will be in here later for your interview. Right now, I just need to tell you something.” He says, looking at you.

“Yeah, anything.” You nod, meeting his eyes.

“The thought that I could’ve lost you really brought some of my feelings to light.” He sighs, preparing himself. “I really like you Y/n, and if I don’t tell you now, i’ll never tell you. I should probably be doing this whenever you’re not in the hospital, but I can’t wait any longer.” Spencer confesses, searching your face for any emotion, when you laugh softly.

“What?” Spencer asks, his voice on the verge of breaking.

“As someone with an IQ of 187, I’m surprised you didn’t confess sooner.” You say, “I like you too Spence, ever since I came to the BAU.”

“339 days ago.” He says, under his breath, smiling at you.

“What was that?” You ask, a soft smile on your face.

“I met you 339 days ago, and that’s when I knew I liked you too.” He smiles.

You laugh, “I would kiss you, but I really can’t move right now.” You say.

“Here.” Spencer says, getting up out of his chair, and leaning over you.

Spencer presses a soft kiss to your cheek. “I want our first real kiss to be when you’re well.” He says in a soft voice.

“Okay.” You agree, “Can you get Morgan in here? The whole situation is fresh on my mind and I need to tell him.”

“Of course.” Spencer says, leaving the room to get Morgan. He then stays in the waiting room, so that Morgan and Y/n can get their job done.

“Soooooo.” Penelope says, snaking beside Spencer, “Did you tell her how you feel?” She asks.

“Yeah.” Spencer says, looking at the ground, “She feels the same.”

Garcia gasps, “Yay!” She wraps him in a hug.

About 15 minutes later, Morgan comes out.

“We’re looking for an Agent Jones. Y/n and I assume that he showed his actual credentials to her, because he assumed she’d be dead.” Morgan explains.

“Hold on, the owner of the warehouse the packages were getting sent from is owned by a Jones.” Rossi says.

“Everyone, get ready. Garcia, find all agents with the last name Jones, and get the name of the father from Rossi, get his address. Everyone else, let’s get geared up.” Hotch says.

Spencer walks over to him, “Can I stay with Y/n? I’m sure you’ve all got this.” Spencer asks. Hotch nods, and then walks out of the waiting room.

Spencer goes back into your room, and you smile.

“I’m going to stay here with you while they track down Jones.” Spencer says, sitting in the chair beside your bed.

“Can you tell me gunshot facts?” You ask him, a small smile still on your face.

“You just got shot, and you want to hear facts about it?” Spencer asks, laughing.

“Yeah.” You say, “What were my chances of living, Doctor?” You ask, laughing.

“About 32 percent, considering where you got shot.” Spencer replies.

“Hm, guess I did pretty good.” You say, shrugging your shoulders.

After a few hours of talking, and watching crappy hospital television, Spencer gets a phone call.

“Yeah, thank god, thank you Hotch. Yeah i’ll tell her.” He says to the phone, and then hangs up.

You sit up in your bed, and look at him expectedly, wondering what happened.

“They got Jones, and he confessed to everything. You're good to come back to the BAU once you're medically cleared.” Spencer smiles.

You let out a breath, a huge smile covers your face.

Spencer looks at you, and then leans down, taking your chin in his hand, and kisses you.

After you break away, he smiles.

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t wait.”

tags: @cupcake525 @soupmakesmynoserun @elizabethkaylynn @drspencr @mattgraygubler @nanocoool @reid-187 @darling-doll9 @1800-fight-me @rachel-rebellio

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venomous--fics · 4 years

Text

Anon Requested: I have an angsty request for peter Parker maybe? He’s overwhelmed with school and stuff and the reader just wants to help him out and he snaps at her and tells her to give him space- and the reader gives him TOO MUCH space- I dunno if that makes sense but whatever-

a/n: the sniper got 'em. In all seriousness, here is your request and I'm sorry it took so long! Things have been weird lately. And I hope you don't mind the little twist I added. I also hope this isn’t hot garbage.

warning: swearing, sad peter, minor fighting

You weren't sure how your evening had gotten to this point. You had gone over to may's apartment, which was pretty much routine at this point, to help Peter study. He's somehow fallen a tad bit behind in his classes, what with the blip and Stark's passing, needless to say, peter was a little overwhelmed.

everything started off fine, but when you had asked Peter- nicely, you wanted to add- to take a dinner break, somehow it started a fight. You were grateful that May had gone out for a bit, she said she forgot something that was needed for dinner. You thought you and Peter could relax and cook together, but instead you two were yelling at each other.

Not really yelling, more like...Aggressively debating. You were practically begging Peter to just take a small break, and that he was over working himself. And Peter kept repeating himself that you just didn't understand, or that you couldn't understand.

You didn't want to argue with him anymore. You just wanted to sit and take a breath, but it seems that Peter had gotten too wound up about it. About everything, really. His brain was going at 100 mph and he couldn't seem to make it stop. Everything was too much.

"What do you need me to do?" you had asked calmly once you had cooled your nerves.

"I need you to give me space!" you had snapped unintentionally.

You were a little surprised by his tone. He'd never spoken to you like that before. You watched as he stormed to his door and slammed the door.

"Fine," you said to yourself as you gathered your things, "Whatever. I'll give you space."

You left the apartment without so much as a goodbye.

Peter had taken a good chunk of time to catch his breath and calm himself. Every bit of anxiety was now replaced with guilt as he recalled how he treated you earlier. He slowly crept out of his room, almost like a scared puppy, and looked around for you.

"Peter?" he heard his aunt from the dimly lit kitchen area.

He hesitated for a moment before walking out to greet her, "Y-yeah?"

"Thought I heard you." she smiled softly as she set out a plate of food for him. He slowly sat down, feeling like he was somewhere he shouldn't be. It was too quiet, even for it being just them. He looked at the plate, "Uh, where's Y/n?" "Oh, I saw her on my way up. She said you were really tired, so she decided to head home." May smiled at him again, "You must've been zonked."

"Yeah.." he replied slowly.

You had gotten home, and your parents had just finished dinner. Your mother invited you to join them, and you didn't want to be rude, so you sat. It felt a little awkward because your mom asked, "How's May and Peter doing?"

"Fine, I guess." you replied.

That answer was apparently good enough, because the subject quickly changed. You finished your dinner a bit faster than normal, and then excused yourself to your room for the evening. You had gotten into your pjs and climbed into bed, turning off your lights and putting your phone on silent.

You ignored the 2 missed calls and 3 text messages from Peter.

School the next morning was very awkward. You normally walked in with Peter, and sometimes Ned accompanied you two, but today, it was just you. It felt lonely, but Peter said he wanted space, so you'd give him that.

You could hear him jogging up as you dug through your locker. You sighed with exasperation, even if you didn't mean it. You stared at the back of your locker as you latched onto your notebook.

"Y/n! Y/n, I'm sorry about last night.." he looked at you, and from the corner of your eyes you could tell he was really tired, "I didn't mean it..I really, really didn't."

You pulled your notebook out and held it to your chest, using your elbow to slam your locker shut. You stared at Peter for a second before turning on your heel and going to class. He followed you, again like a puppy, "I don't understand...Why- You don't wanna talk to me now?"

"I thought you wanted space," you said in an annoyed huff.

You took your seat at the back of the class and dropped your books onto your desk. Peter, being defeated, took his seat at the front of class. He tapped his pencil on his book and kept looking back at you. You weren't paying one ounce of attention to him.

The rest of the school day played out like some cliche tv show episode. You'd do everything in your power to actively avoid Peter, even if it hurt. You wanted to help him, but deep down, you figured he probably didn't want your help.

He's been different since the blip. Everyone was, but Peter was the worst. He was so broken up about everything. He stopped talking to you about how he felt, or even how his day went. You should've taken the hint earlier that maybe he just didn't want to be with you anymore.

All he wanted to do was just be at home. It didn't seem to matter to him if you were there or not. Maybe if you did have to actually talk to him, you'd just let him down easy. If he doesn't trust you to help him now, he'll probably never trust you. You had gone into autopilot mode as you gathered your book bag and homework from your locker. Your eyes were scanning every face you passed. "So, like, are you single?"

You jumped at the sudden question before you noticed that you'd almost run right into Flash. "Uh..."

"I heard rumors that you two broke up."

"Who- Wha- Why are people talking about that?"

"But did you? Because if you did," He tried to be smooth, "You wanna go for a cruise in my new car?"

"Not..." You spotted Peter down the hall, and instead of being petty or angry, you somehow felt kinda bad, "Sounds great, but I can't."

"Why not?"

The final bell for the day rang, and nearly every student had made a B-line for the door. You were one of them. You felt like you were the one who needed space now. You were feeling too many things. Were you really mad at Peter? Maybe he used the wrong tone, but he hadn't meant to hurt you. "He wants space," you repeated to yourself.

"I didn't mean that.."

You twirled around and Peter was right behind you.

"Well, you said it, so obviously, you meant it." you replied, "You said you wanted space."

"I didn't-"

"If you felt suffocated, why couldn't you just tell me that?" you asked, a little louder than you meant to, "You know I would've helped you."

"I just have a lot going on.." It sounded childish to say, it almost sounded like a crutch, "Not that that makes it okay- I just- Y/n-"

You noticed Flash and his group of friends watching. You didn't want to make things worse for Peter, "I have to go."

"Y/n." Peter persisted, catching up and walking by your side.

You adjusted the bag on your back, "I can take a hint, Parker."

You'd never used his last name. Peter stopped in his tracks for a moment, you stopped a few steps in front of him, "I understand that you're always busy...And I know that your idol dying must've sucked- Like, y'know, you probably read it in every paper or website- But," you sighed, "You know I was here if you needed to talk about it..Instead you kept shutting me out. I ignored it because I knew that that internship meant a lot to you..I understood that.."

Peter could tell that you were thinking about something. He could always tell because your would always look so perplexed about it until you would finally say it.

"I didn't want to think that you were intentionally giving me the cold shoulder." you took in a deep breath, "But last night? I guess I got the final hint. I'll just leave you alone, but next time, you should just say it."

It must've been obvious that that really hurt to say. Peter didn't like where this was going. You turned away when he reached out for you, "I have to go, Peter." Peter stood still as you made you way home. He didn't move a muscle until you were out of sight. He needed to fix this, and quickly.

Despite the urgency of the situation, Peter wasn't sure how to actually fix it. Saying sorry wasn't good enough.. He was certain just taking you out to dinner or whatever wasn't good enough. It wasn't until three days later- Three days of being completely ignored by you, though he caught you looking a few times- That he realized that maybe he should've just been a thousand percent honest with you from the start.

He had gotten the Stark internship about four months into you two going out. He realizes now that that took a toll. He was busy nearly every day after school with Tony, and when he wasn't with Tony he was trying to stay on top of school. He watched you walk home alone again, and that's when he hatched what he thought was his brilliant idea.

It was nearing 7:30pm and you finally decided to text Peter.

Hey, can we talk?

Two minutes pass.

It's not bad, I swear. I just wanted to apologize..

Ten minutes pass.

Peter? Are you there? You okay?

Normally he responds asap, kinda weird that he's not answering. Maybe he's just in the shower. Maybe he's ignoring you now. It was only fair, right?

You sit down on the edge of your bed, on the verge of tears, when you heard a knock on your window. You almost jumped out of your skin as you stood back up. You faced your window and saw a familiar stranger perched on your fire escape railing.

"Spider-Man?" you asked quietly as you rushed to your window and pulled it open. You leaned your head out of the window, "What are you doing here?" He was quiet for a moment as he awkwardly climbed off the railing. He rubbed his neck and then the back of his head, "Uh, Hi- C-can I come in?" That voice. You'd heard it somewhere.

You backed up, "Uuh, Sure. Yeah, come right in. Why are you here?"

You watched as the fearless hero tripped over the window sill and nearly face planted into the floor. He quickly pulled himself up and dusted himself up, looking around, "Oh, you know. Reasons."

"Do I know you?" you got to the point, "I swear I've heard your-"

Spider-man looked at you as you connected the dots. You covered your mouth, "Peter?"

"Oh- Oh no, oh geez." He looked around, "This isn't going how I- Well- Listen- I-" "Oh my god." you felt like you were going to faint, "Oh my god! It makes sense now- Oh god, I'm such a dick!"

"N-no!" Peter finally pulled the mask off, revealing his messy hair, "It's not your fault. I mean, I shouldn't be telling you- Danger and all that- But I..."

You lowered your hands and just looked at him. You were in complete awe. How could you not have figured it out?

"I-.." Peter sighed as he walked over to your bed and sat down, making himself comfy, "I'm sorry, like, about everything. I wasn't meaning to be distant, or an ass- I.. I just.."

You slowly sat next to him, not even looking at the suit anymore, just his face. Despite what he wanted you to see and understand, you just saw Peter.

"I was there when we lost five years ago.. I lost you, I lost May- But I was stuck in space. I kinda, just died not knowing if you were okay..Then," he cleared his throat, and you could see the tears, "I got back, and then Tony..d-He- ...Died. Then everyone kept asking what was next."

You weren't sure what to do, so you grabbed one of your blankets and wrapped it around his shoulders, "I'm sorry."

"People kept asking if I was ever going to replace Tony- If I was ever going to be Tony..And then I just..Gave up on my schoolwork, that's why I was behind.."

Peter looked at you for a split second and then looked at the floor, "Then we started falling apart, and-" He tried to wipe his tears, but he just broke down.

Out of habit, like all the times that his anxiety got the best of him, you did all you could. You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him close, finally letting your own tears slip out.

"I'm so stupid," he said, "I shouldn't have come here. I just," his voice cracked, "I just didn't want to be alone."

"You're not stupid," you reassured him, "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"It wasn't fair to you-"

"But I get it now. I'm not mad about it." You said softly, "Look."

You gently cupped his face and turned it so he'd look at you. You smiled at him, "We'll take it one step at a time- But listen.."

He sniffed, "Okay."

"You don't have to be anybody else." you were being sincere, "You are who you choose to be- And right now, that's Peter Parker. And that's good enough."

He looked at you for a moment, eyes glistening as the last few tears rolled down his face. You noticed that a few new one popped up, and you careful moved your hands, "Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry-"

Peter wiped his face, "You quoted Iron Giant- I started thinking about how the robot-" He started crying again, "Sorry."

"I was quoting that, wasn't I.." you chuckled a little, "But, I still meant it." Peter sniffled a little more.

"If you want to be an Avenger, or hell, even the mayor, I'll be right behind you. Okay?"

Trying to lighten the mood, Peter asked, "What if I want to be a hotdog vendor?"

"Well," you wanted to object, but you sighed happily, "If that's what would make you happiest."

"Are we good?" he looked at you with red, tired eyes.

"Yes, we're good- Just- Can we promise to talk about how we feel next time?" You pulled Peter into a tight hug.

"Yeah," he replied, hugging back, "We can."

There was a peaceful silence for a moment. Peter let out a happy sigh, "I love you."

You pulled back, in shock. Neither of you had ever said that, mostly due to being nervous, "What."

Peter realized what he said and gently moved away from you, face bright red, "I'm sorry- I mean, not sorry- I mean, I have to go now."

He got up and was about to put his mask back on when you grabbed his wrist, catching his attention.

"I love you too."

He smiled at you, leaning over and giving you soft kiss. You smiled at him as he clumsily climbed out your window and put his mask on. You stuck your head out the window, "Hey, Spider-guy."

Peter looked at you, "Yes, ma'am?"

"You're pretty great."

"And you're just pretty."

"Nice one." you snickered, "Tell me when you get home. No swinging and texting."

"I will." he was about to shoot a web when he looked back at you, "Night, Y/n." "Night, P- Spider-Man."

You watched as he swung off into the city. Much like he did to you, you waited for him to be out of sight before you shut your window and closed your blinds for the night. You turned your lights off and crawled into bed. About fifteen minutes later your phone buzzed. You were expecting a 'got home safe' or 'home,' but you got something entirely different.

Hey, I was thinking about it.. Why wasn't there an Iron Giant 2? First one ended on a good cliff hanger, but, that's still a cliff hanger. That's not very fair.

I see you got home safely <3

Oh, right.

You could see him typing.

I'm home. <3

I can tell, and to answer your question. I think the first movie bombed at the box office or something.

But it's a good movie?

Things were weird in the 90s.

You two wound up talking for another hour before Peter suggested that you two should probably go to bed. You fell asleep certain that Peter and you would talk more about everything tomorrow, but for right now, things were just fine.

#peter parker imagine #peter parkeer x reader #spiderman x reader #spiderman iamgine #marvel imagine #marvel x reader

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btaffy02 · 4 years

Text

“Friends”

This is a draco x reader fanfiction. I used she/her pronouns and nothing too “serious” happens. I hope you like it! Sorry for incorrect grammar and also italic writing is your thoughts.

“y/n?” You turn to your right so see draco greeting you. You're kind of caught off guard by how handsome he's gotten. He's a bit taller and his hair sits almost perfectly. “Hey! I see you've lost the hair gel. It took you long enough.” You say. He pulls you in by your right sleeve for a hug. “Haha very funny y/l/n.” Draco has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. Your families were always close so you two kind of grew up together. He's always had a special place in your heart but you can never determine if the feeling is romantic or if it's just because you care for him. He pulls out his schedule so you two can compare and see how many classes you have together. He rolls his finger down the papers and counts, “1, 2, 3… I guess thats it. Three classes together. I suppose it better than none.” You nod in agreement. You guys head into the great hall so the first years can get sorted and you can all feast. Of course, you sit beside Draco. He's kind of your anchor. You just follow his lead mainly because you're socially anxious but you also just want to stay out of things. You don't want to be the center of attention.

You've never really been the talkative type ever. You're just average. Your grades are fine, your looks are fine (though you'd never admit it outloud), your parents are still together, you only have a few friends. There's not really anything special about you, but you have something they don't, him. After dinner you say goodnight and head your separate ways.

A COUPLE OF WEEKS HAVE PASSED

As much as you hate to admit it you've found yourself staring at Draco frequently. And for the most part, no ones noticed, until today that is. “Miss y/l/n am i a bore to you?” Professor Snape slams a book shut.

Uh oh.

“Ye- i mean no sir.” You respond in panic. “Oh I am? Well maybe detention will be less boring.”

Ugh youve got to be kidding me. Detention? I'll miss my only free time with Draco.

You frown. Draco snickers in the distance and Snape turns to him. “You too Malfoy.” He continues teaching. Draco smiles at you. You finish the day and go to detention like you were ordered to.

IN DETENTION

Lucky for you detention is pretty relaxed and you're hardly monitored or checked on. You sit down and whip out your herbology homework. It's easily your favorite subject and you're very good at it. It's actually introduced you to Neville Longbottom who has taken a liking to herbology studies. You consider him your friend but you aren't close. Your thoughts are interrupted when you notice feet walking up in front of you. You look up from your book to see Draco in his typical black turtleneck. “I know why you have detention.” He says. “Uhm yeah i wasn't paying attention in class.” You say confused.

Oh god did he see me staring at him?

“Yeah right, you were staring at me.” “What? Full of yourself much?” You joke with him.

I didn't think he could see me.

“I mean what's not to love.” He raises his brows. “Omg, in your dreams.” You give him a little shove. “No, but im in yours.” He winks at you and smiles. You both laugh it off. The conversation is innocent but it actually means something to you. You love little flirty jokes and whatnot and no one does it better than Malfoy. The rest of detention is pretty boring and you guys make small talk and he helps you with potions and spells but nothing else really happens. When you're dismissed he walks you to your common room and says goodnight like usual. You're pretty restless because you don't know what to think

Do i have feelings for Draco Malfoy? Do i even have a chance? I mean he knows pretty much everything about me and i know everything about him. I could never tell him how I feel though, I don't want to make things awkward.

You stay up an hour later than usual but decide your thoughts can wait till morning.

WEEKS PASS

It's been weeks since detention and ever since then things have been different. You see a different side of Draco and he's a bit more “friendly” to you. You don't really think much of it and just wait for things to play out.

Most people think Draco is snobby and closed off. I beg to differ. He puts up this like barrier between his feelings and the world so he doesn't seem weak. I blame Lucius for that, I've honestly never liked him. He's a bit strange and expects too much of Draco.

You can 100% say you have feelings for him now. Though it pains you to say it's true. Day by day your feelings have grown stronger and so have his. Or at least you think, you can't really speak for him but he is more flirty than usual and less pissy in general. Tomorrow is October first, it marks 10 years of friendship with Draco.

Yes, I remember the date and everything. Not that he would remember because it probably doesn't mean much to him if he even remembers the day you became friends.

But it doesn't matter because this is something for you to celebrate and keep to yourself. Whether he notices or not you know you will be happy.

OCTOBER 1ST

You wake up to the scent of your roommate's apple cinnamon candle slowly burning.

Today is a good day.

You think to yourself.

Nothing could make this day bad.

Well you were wrong. In all today was not a good day. Nothing super bad happened, it's just little things kept going wrong. You failed a test, you tripped on multiple occasions, and one of your only friends, neville, got sick. You don't come out and say that today has been a bad day because you so desperately wanted it to be a good one. School has finished so you head to your room to chill out for a bit. You grab a notebook and begin a sketch to take your mind off of things. You hear a knock from the door and get up to see who it is. You're a bit shocked to see Draco standing outside your door. “Bloody hell- shhh what are you doing here you could get into trouble.” “I need to talk to you about something.” He says. “Is it that urgent? Im not really in the mood.” You look around to make sure no one sees you two. “Yes it is. Let's go somewhere that I don't have to look behind my shoulder every five seconds.” He grabs your hand and you walk to the stairs to get some privacy.

What's going on? Is he in some sort of trouble or does he just want to gossip? It's probably something to deal with Potter. He absolutely despises him.

“What's wrong?” You're actually a bit worried. “Uhm- nothing. There's something I need to tell- give you.” “All right. What is it?” He's never given you a gift before. Not even on your birthday. He pulls out a small box from his pocket and gives it to you. You smile at him. “Happy friendaversary loser.” He says while he smiles back at you.

He remembered. He actually remembered. I'm so happy I could scream. But he didn't have to give me a gift. I feel bad, maybe i should've gotten him one too i just didn't think he would remember it.

You untie the bow on top of the box and open it. Inside the small box was a bunch of extremely small flowers and a necklace in the middle.

I'm not the type to usually like the whole necklace cliche but for some reason with him it's different. I'm grateful for anything he could give me.

The necklace has one single charm of a serpent with a small diamond flower attached. “Thank you!” You fling into his arms and he wraps his arms around your waist. You're absolutely ecstatic and a bit shocked all at the same time. You were expecting maybe a chocolate of the sorts but not a necklace.

What does this mean?

“Do you like it?” He asks you. “Oh absolutely! It's beautiful, and wicked, and I love it.” He looks a bit nervous but you can see some relief when you answer yes to his question. You stare at the necklace for a bit before you actually pick it up. “Here I'll put it on for you.” He takes the necklace out of your hands. He moves your hair out of the way. His hands are cold, but you find them comforting somehow. He wraps the necklace around you and hooks it into place. “Thanks.” You turn around and smile at him. You're so close you think you can smell his cologne. “Y/n can i confess something?” He looks into your eyes.

Blimey does he feel the same way? I'm nervous, what if he tries to kiss me, am i ready for that? I need to stop freaking myself out. It's not going to help anything.

“Sure, what's on your mind?” He takes his eyes off of you and looks around the room. “I like you.” You're a bit confused on how he means it so you say, “Well i like you too.” He looks a bit annoyed, “No I like you. A lot. I have all school year. I don't know what made me realize it but I did. You're so beautiful and confident-”

I'm really not but I won't interrupt.

“-and you light up every room you walk into. You know me better than anyone and i don't know if this is overwhelming but i just had to say it. I understand if you don't like me back i just-”

Is he serious right now. Of course I like him back. I more than like him.

Before you can even let him finish or gather your thoughts you put your right hand on his face and pull him in by his shirt with your left. He's a bit shocked but then puts his icy hands on your waist. The kiss is good. A long time in the making but good.

Holy Sh*t! Did I seriously just do that? Wow who would've thought I could do that. I never want the kiss to end. I could kiss him a million times again and again.

When your lips finally part he makes a funny face by lifting his eyebrows and widening his eyes. You laugh. “I like you too.” You don't even notice you've been smiling for the past five minutes and you don't think you could stop smiling. “Bloody hell i hope so.” He puts his hands in his pockets and smiles at you. It's one of the few times you've seen him genuinely smile in a really long time. You finally got what you've always wanted, to make him happy.

-thank you for reading <3 sorry it was so short.

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #harry potter #hogwarts #fanfiction

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danwhobrowses · 4 years

Text

Main Takes from My Hero Academia Season 4

So now that episode 25 had aired, Season 4 of My Hero Academia has come to an end. Which means a long wait till the next one. Personally I binged most of it (having started binge watching a few months ago and stopping at Season 3 since Season 4 was still near midway), I got my dates muddled due to Self-Isolation and thought we were on Ep 24 instead of 23, so I’ve had to wait for the last 2, but it was fine since the final 2 are more backdoor mini-arcs to the next season.

Initially when S4 ended I wanted to do a full review, but I found myself writing tldr levels of stuff while still in the first arc, so I’m just doing quick bullet takes

Sadly, some spoilers are unavoidable, and even I was unable to be spoiled from S4 and manga stuff thanks to recommendation algorithms and haphazard/not-so-cryptic comments in threads. However, I don’t wanna spread that so if you’re not caught up on Season 4 watch it, Spoilers are below.

So Season 4 was wild, and exciting and did a mighty job swelling my stone of a heart XD But the main things I took from S4 was as follows

Obviously, Protect Eri at Every Cost in Every Currency

The Fast Tracking of All Might’s time coming to a close feels intentional as if to constantly put us on edge with the fact that Deku will be without his father figure

Never let a subordinate attack the main villain

Buff Tintin Mirio and Deku are the perfect buddy system

Team Fatgum is a wholesome well-rounded unit

We should’ve seen at least some of Tokoyami’s work study if you were gonna hype up Hawks 20 episodes prior

People think Chisaki was old enough to have a 6 year old kid, though age does seem to be deceptive as Gentle and La Brava show

Ryukyu, Nejire, Uraraka, Bubble Girl and Tsu could’ve had more active screentime, and Deku’s mother should’ve gotten a smidge given how Deku was in a literal Yakuza raid

Tamaki’s Quirk is awesome but poses a lot of morally questionable hypotheses on how far it can go, also Suneater is a badass nickname

Mina can involve breakdancing into any situation

Kirishima is a strong and brave man who deserves all the praise he got

It was also great to see that not everyone has the ‘Legs moved before thinking’ moment and it doesn’t diminish a person if they don’t have it, it’s also nice to see someone look up to someone else other than All Might, being number 1 doesn’t mean you’re everyone’s favourite.

No homo but Fitgum got them features

Toga is much stronger than I gave her credit for, I mean I knew she was strong but she stabbed Aizawa without her quirk while wrapped in his scarf threads!

Mirio proves that you don’t need a quirk to be a hero, it just helps a bit, that boy didn’t give up

Chisaki’s plan was...odd actually, Eri can rewind sure but he can literally break down and reshape people, couldn’t he just mess up someone’s physiology and de-quirk them?

100% Deku is a force (though I reserve the disdain that Chisaki went for the cliché ‘big monster but my main body hangs out of it’ route)

Never sleep on the League of Villains

Uraraka and maybe Tsu were probably more traumatized than they let on, it’s not easy to get over holding a dying man in your arms

How do you hide a motherfucker as big as Gigantomachia in a forest!? He has a literal radio around his neck. Also I feel like Kurogiri could’ve escaped if he wanted to...

How did no-one think that Camie was compromised she acts completely different to Toga and she showed her quirk, wouldn’t they know what her quirk was from her file anyway?

That teacher needs therapy, and a long holiday

Seiji and Present Mic should do all the commentary

Bakugo has good leadership skills, but the license course didn’t really resolve his public abrasiveness

I do wanna see more of cross-school activities, more Inasa but also more Ms Joke and her lot

Aoyama was never gonna be the traitor, the dude is far too Cheesy

I was actually glad to see the Pussycats, and that Ragdoll is well now even if quirkless, for a while I thought she would be a vegetable or worse a Nomu

Sato’s image of Bakugo and Todoroki in a 70s Disco movie is hilarious and I will fight those who disagree

Be still my Kamijirou heart, the boy gave up a Maid Café to encourage her love for music, also her voice is beautiful

I still can’t stand Monoma...

Hatsume should just mark herself down as Deku’s official support mechanic, like his Lucius Fox because she just comes in clutch with what he needs

Deku should’ve really thought about using 20% in small bursts on his own, it’s okay he didn’t but let’s not forget that the boy has a brain on him

Gentle is the complete opposite of Chisaki; while Chisaki had the intimidation and evil plan he lacked a lot of personality outside of ‘Don’t Touch Me’ and ‘Yakuza Rights’, Gentle has more a nuisance who wants to be famous, but he has personality oozing out of every pore

Gentle is also proof that ‘legs moving without thinking’ doesn’t always work, had he saved that person his life would be much different just like how Deku’s life would’ve been different if All Might didn’t step in. But sadly he was subjected to a vicious environment where everyone rejected him. Hopefully he can get a second chance to be good, because even some of his criminal activities had good intentions in them

The school festival episode was just euphoric fun, also Bakugo’s ‘we won’ face was great

The new top 10 is interesting, but Ryukyu was robbed. She fought a monster of the Hassakai and lost placement!? I’m also surprised Nighteye wasn’t in the Top 10 given how powerful his quirk is and how he was able to bring heroes of multiple agencies together. Glad Jeanist is alive I do worry a little about Kamui though, he keeps getting mentioned for his ascent as a ‘promising young hero’, also people really thirst for the tan bunny

I cannot get a read on Hawks, his quirk is cool though

This Liberation front seems key for next season

Todoroki’s hot sister is still hot...what do you mean that’s not relevant!?

High End is pretty dangerous, but heroes should really aim for the head with these things (I do like the little touch that Nomu abilities differ by their colour)

Endeavor’s redemption arc is earned, it’s still not there yet but it’s important not to fast track it, he’s owning up to his mistreatment rather than expecting forgiveness and that is a good way to build to it, he had his United States of Smash moment and it was a gloriously animated fight

This spells bad things for the hierarchy though that the Number 1 and 2 had to work together to stop a monster sent by other villains, it diminishes the chart structure and Dabi knows that...plus he probably wanted to stick it to his old man because he’s obviously a Todoroki

Did not expect to see other One for All holders! What does it mean!? And why is Deku just a hand and half a head? Is it just a show that he’s only 20% at his power? Season 5 is gonna be crazy

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theyrealllegends · 5 years

Text

Careful (Roger Taylor x Reader)

Chapter Summary: You’re gonna meet Freddie and I hope you like him! Also, there’s a lot of stressed Rog in this one, before we’re eventually moving to some fluff.

Author’s Note: Guys, thank you for your insane feedback on chapter 1, I almost started crying when I hit the 100 notes because I wasn’t even thinking I would ever reach them! I love you all and I hope you enjoy the next chapters just as much! Let me know if you have any comments or wishes!

Words: ~1.8k but I’m trying to write longer chapters!

Warnings: Mentions of drugs and drinking, slight swearing and pet names (lol), nothing too crazy so enjoy

Chapter 2:

Previous Parts: Ch. 1

The flat got quieter as Roger’s exams started. He’d be home with you much more, running his hands through his hair over his books that weren’t as big as yours but with graphs of skulls and different teeth that looked more complex than your longest laws. The amount of first English breakfast tea and then black coffee the two of you drank grew to new extremes but you secretly loved how good it was not to study alone for some time. It kept you going to know that you weren’t in this alone and it sparked your sense for competition to procrastinate less than Roger. Also, he’d ask you the mock exam questions you had and you’d do the same for him, finding out any trouble spots you had to go over again and also teaching each other the bases of your subjects in the process.

“I’m so sure I’m gonna fail, I should drop out just now!”, Roger moaned from the kitchen table. You were preparing some noodles to feed the two of you for another late night of studying.

“You’re not dropping out anywhere! Why do you even say that?!” “First of all because it’s too hard”, he said, pressing his hands to his face. “Second of all because I don’t love it half as much as you love your laws.”

“I come from a family of lawyers, I basically grew up with law books everywhere, I really can’t be a standard.”

“You should’ve told me way earlier! I mean, I have a similar - but not inherited passion for biology and I bet I wouldn’t question that as hard as I question these damn teeth and gums and whatnot!”

“Are you sure?”, you asked while you carried the pan full of noodles to the table. “Because I feel like you’re only trying to convince yourself something else would be better so you can stop studying.”

“That’s only half of why I’m done with becoming a dentist. I mean can you even imagine me there, taking care of your smile?”

“Don’t forget to smile”, you said, quoting the name of his band what made him smile in return.

“We’re Queen now, I would’ve told you if I had thought I had enough time to breath.”

“How come?”

“That fucker Tim just left, no idea why but luckily Freddie is our new lead singer now and man, he’s great.”

“Sounds good!”, you told him to wipe the look of anger from his face when he mentioned Tim.

“It was enough of a pain in the ass to find a new bassists really”, he grumbled on until his face lit up. “Fred asked me to move in with him but I told him I wouldn’t move anywhere without you.” You shook your head to get back to reality after your heartbeat dropped for a second.

“Rog, you can move in with him if you want to, you talk about him non-stop!”

“Yeah, but he’s not you, Tiff”, Roger said honestly. “I need this”, he explained, nodding to his books, the food in front of him and then looking into your eyes. “I need you, I can’t imagine living without you.”

“I mean”, you say, your cheeks burning, looking at your pasta. “We can find a flat that’s big enough for the three of us?”

“I’ll tell him to look for that”, Roger said immediately and you could tell he was surprised that you considered that but also, that he was very happy about it. You were surprised about yourself, too, really, agreeing to move in with another guy you didn’t know a lot about - and what you knew didn’t really speak for him, taking into account that Roger said Freddie was a heavier drinker than him, smoked more, sang on top of his lungs basically anytime he wasn’t talking about fashion - you didn’t know what had gotten into you, but you didn’t really mind. You felt like it was a good thing, you actually wanted to step out of your comfort zone like that in that moment. “You wanna smoke some pot?”

Your face dropped and your hands clenched into fists - every thought about comfort zones wiped from your brain. “Roger Meddows Taylor. If I catch you smoking pot in this flat or anywhere on earth, I’ll call the cops to get you arrested myself, there’s reasons why it’s illegal!”

“I was joking, Tiff”, he immediately said, trying to calm you down again. “I just wanted to see if my law-loving girl was up for something illegal.”

“I don’t believe you but I’ll let you get away with it”, you murmured and he smiled before finishing his pasta.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Roger did drop out of his classes in the end and even though he had you convinced he did the right thing, you hated him for dropping out - because it meant he went out to celebrate his freedom and came home freaking wasted as your alarm clock’s digits let you know you’d only have thirty minutes left to sleep.

“Shit, I’m sorry”, Roger mumbled as you opened your door to check on him. “I swear I didn’t want to wake you.” “Shouldn’t have dropped your keys then, love”, you told him, grabbing his arm to lead him to his room. His breath was hot and came in short yet deep inhalations and his lips caught your attention because they looked swollen. You tried to ignore it when you finally had Roger sit on his bed. He grabbed your hand as you wanted to go for the kitchen and pulled you into him, resulting in his head cuddled against your tummy and his armes wrapped around your waist.

“Come ‘ere and go back to sleep, babe, it’ll be like I never woke you up”, he said, at least that’s what you thought you understood from his mumbled words.

“I’ll have to get up in thirty minutes anyway, Rog.” He probably didn’t hear you, if he did he wasn’t paying attention because he just crawled backwards onto his bed, pulling you with him between the numerous patterned sheets and every thing else that was on his bed: clothes, books, you could’ve sworn you heard a bag of crisps or whatever fall to the ground as Roger finally rested his head on one of his pillows and pulled you into his chest that was only halfway covered in whatever fabric it might be. He kicked off his shoes while he kissed your forehead and buried one hand in your hair, the other one moving under the shirt you had been sleeping in. His skin was warm and he moaned softly as you moved to at least lie comfortable for the ten minutes or what you wanted to allow yourself in his bed. He smelled like cigarettes and sweat but there was also a hint of peppermint and clean clothes that reminded you of the flat you two called home right now and it made you calm as you closed your eyes, leaning into him.

When you woke up, the sun had already risen but you surprised yourself by not freaking out and just carefully escaping Roger’s bed and his extremely chaotic room. He came to your room hours later and just silently started massaging your shoulders when he just saw you there, trying to find relieve in stretching them.

“Sorry for waking you up”, he mumbled and you moaned instead of a response because - and you would deny ever thinking that - his hands made you feel so good.

“It’s fine you can repay me in massages”, you told him, leaning into him. He cleaned his throat and moved behind you until you were resting against his chest.

“Anytime, sweetie. When’s that exam? It’s your last one right?”

“I got one on Friday which is in two days and the last one Monday.”

“I mean, you shouldn’t go out on Mondays but I’d still buy you drinks if you let me.”

“I don’t drink, you know that Rog.”

“I can pay for your Pepsi then, please, Tiff, let me take you out and meet the boys!”

“We’ll see, okay?”

“Sure, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe, Roggie.” He just laughed at your pet name and moved away from you.

“You want coffee?”

“I’d love some but you’d need to go to the store.”

“I need cigarettes anyway”, he replied, still groaning with all the moving and fresh air waiting for him.

*-*-*-*-*-*

It was Saturday and you felt the need to glue yourself to your desk, yet Roger somehow managed to persuade you to join him and Freddie to visit the flat that might become your home in the future.

“It’s cheaper than this one, at least with three people and Fred is really fucking excited about it”, Roger had told you, as he came back from band practice last night. The stress to prepare for your last exam faded a little as excitement got you. You’d eventually move out of the small flat your dad kept telling you was too expensive and your mom found rotten and too noisy from the street. Also, you’d finally see Freddie, the man Roger was such good friends with and you never got around to meet.

“There you are!”, he said as he slid in the backseat of Roger’s car that you finally agreed to ride in with him. “You must be Tiffany, it’s so nice to meet you!”

“The pleasure’s on me”, you replied shyly yet smiling at Freddie. He wore a dark red suede blazer and black pants and you grinned because you were sure you had seen his shirt on Roger once or twice before. This would be fun, you were sure that moment.

Except when you looked at the flat, the most gorgeous flat you could imagine living in on the budget your parents provided you, Freddie would be an absolute asshole, to a point where you were sure the landlord wouldn’t want you to move in, ever.

“I’d lower the rent by 200 pounds, if that’d change your mind”, the lady explained at the end of the visit and your eyes widened in surprise.

“My dear friend Tiffany here is a lawyer, she’ll make sure you’re bound to that”, Freddie just explained and extended his hand. Your future landlord looked at you and you gave her the best professional smile you could master with all the excitement starting to cook up in your chest, before she sealed the deal by shaking Freddie’s and then Roger’s hand.

“I can’t believe you fucking did this, man”, Roger mumbled, as the woman motioned for her hardback in the kitchen. “You’re a genius, Fred!”

Tags

(which I’m really excited about! (imagine me being interviewed drunk with one hand in my shirt if you like?))

@discodeakyy @crazyweirdocalledfriday @blondecarfucker

#roger x reader #roger taylor #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor x reader #roger tay #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy #ben hardy fanfic #roger taylor fluff #ben hardy fluff #fanfiction #queen #queen fanfiction #bohrap #bohrap fanfiction #bohemian rhapsody

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kangaroo-r00 · 6 years

Text

Day 23 ~ “Love” ~

(A/N) Guess who should be studying for the six tests I have over the next week but isn’t :D (It’s okay I’ll probably do well anyway—except for math but last time I expected to fail a math test I got 100% so maybe I’ll pass that one too idfk anymore)

We’re taking a break from gore to dive into Chase and Stacy’s marriage pre divorce but after shit started to go down!!! Buckle up because this one hurts.

WARNINGS: Emotional abuse, fighting, and Stacy being a bitch.

Taglist: @egopocalypse, @circus-craze, @here-be-becquerel, @shadowstakeall, @superbanananinja234, @writerwithdepression

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry," he whispered to his wife, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. She'd only get angrier if he got upset.

Money has been tight recently, Chase having been laid off from his office job a couple of weeks ago, leaving him relying on his YouTube channel for money. While it was much better than nothing and he had a lot of fans, YouTube was in some weird rut, people being unsubscribed from accounts and videos not being recommended to subscribers. A normal job would be much more steady and provide more money at the moment.

Hence the on going argument. It's been over a week and Stacy still hasn't talked to him. Hell she barely even glanced his way. He got booted to the couch and she locked the bedroom door every night. Chase had to admit: this one was really taking its toll on him mentally. He hasn't been feeling very good at all the last past few days—in fact he's been feeling worse than he had in a long time. Sure their arguments were nasty and lasted unnecessarily long, often starting over either the tiniest things or nothing... but they always got over it. They had to. Which is why he clung onto the possibility of Stacy forgiving him early.

Stacy let out an annoyed sigh and for the first time in a week addressed him, though she wasn't looking at him. "If you were really sorry then you'd have a job already."

His insides twisted painfully, throat closing up. "You— It's not my fault there aren't a lot of jobs. Besides... there's a lot of competition. I can't... There're always better people for the job." Didn't she see how this was eating away at him? Not being able to get a job, Stacy not acknowledging his existence, being forced to sleep on the couch, staying up late looking for jobs...

"It's your fault for not finishing college. If you had then you would've gotten a job by now. It's always your fault!" She snipped, keeping her back to him.

"Well, how would a degree in music technology help me get a job!?" He snapped angrily.

"Maybe you should've picked a better major!"

"I liked that one!"

"Then why'd you drop out?"

"Because I don't like school! I was miserable!"

"Newsflash, Chase: nobody likes school! You're not special. Most people at least have the attention span to get through school! But we all know your attention span is nonexistent!"

The words sliced right into his heart—cut right down into his very soul.

Swiping a hand uselessly across his eyes, he let out a shaky breath, trying to calm himself. The breath he drew in was a sniffly one.

Stacy must've heard because she turned, looking directly at him for the first time in what felt like forever. She frowned. "Seriously, Chase? Are you really crying? Be a man and get your shit together."

The call out only made shame course through him, making his eyes sting more. He clenched his jaw and looked away, refusing to answer.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed again. "Why do I even bother? You're useless." She strode past him, calling over her shoulder. "You can come back to bed once you get off your lazy ass and get a job." A beat of silence before she tacked on, "I love you."

It didn't matter that it didn't sound genuine. It didn't matter how angry she still was at him. The words made something prickly rise in his chest and throat—he noted it didn't feel as pleasant as before but some of the warmth still remained.

"Love you too," he whispered to the empty room.

(A/N) Oof parents fighting is a bad. Please don’t disrespect your partners y’all. Women can’t get away with this shit either because it’s still abuse.

Character Kill Count:

Jacksepticeye: I Antisepticeye: Jackieboy Man: III Marvin the Magnificent: II Henrik Von Schneeplestein: I Chase Brody: IIII Jameson Jackson: II Robbie the Zombie:

Total: 14

#jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticeye alter egos #jse fanfiction #chase brody #stacy brody #tw emotional abuse #goretober 2018

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nade2308 · 6 years

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Just something I need to get off my chest...

Do you know that feeling when you finally think things are looking up, but instead they are tumbling town the abyss you came up from just recently? Yeah, well things have been like that for a very long time and I don't think that I gave myself enough time to go through them and get over them so to speak (no matter how hard you wish you forget some things, they just fade away as you slowly force them on the last shelf, but they are there, ready to pounce on you and remind you that you are never going to forget).

Maybe you are asking why am I writing this? I am not doing it to drag attention (I'm not attention seeker, nor I'll ever be, I'm okay in the place I've created for myself with the people I love and that love me and that's all the attention that I'd ever want and get. And it's okay) nor to make anyone feel like they need to do something they usually wouldn't do. Debated to just pour my soul over on other social media, but the fact that there are people from real life that I have there (including family and friends and other peoplw I know) that's not an option (I'm sure they haven't noticed anything is wrong and if they did, they haven't mentioned it. Maybe they are afraid how I'll react, or I just got better at hiding how I feel). This reminded me of that one time one of my closer friends made a remark on my character: there was this situation where another student at the Uni I'm at started jabbing me and I was this close to flipping off, and he said that I made the right choice for solving the thing with words, or else we would've witnessed an explosive "fight" o to speak. I'm not sure that's relevant to what I have to say, but at times I've been wondering how it would've turned out if I got it out of my chest every time something touched me so hard I couldn't think of anything else but that? I think with the years it just became a practice to not show what I truly feel inside, because if I do, I give all the others the ammo to keep stepping on me (which thankfully hasn't happened in years. Not literal stepping, but you'd get my point), and that's not something I wanted. I've always wondered what other people saw in mw that made them envy me, maybe even hate me, but envy me for sure. Sometimes I felt like I had target painted ojln my back that said 'hey, let's have fun with her and insult her'. I've taken jabs about being a nerd, being poor (well their definition of poor anyway), being the teacher's pet (although the very same people that were saying those things were the things they claimed I was). I was ridiculed for never skipping class, for thw clothes I wore, for every word that got out of my mouth, but it was okay. It is okay. They didn't win, because I still am the same person and they never got over their envy and jealousy and whatnot but after a while they lost my attention, the attention I gave to them. That llst time won't get back, but it serves as a lesson (I still make some of the same mistakes, but with less frequency). So, the thing is, I learned how to bury things deep inside, so deep that sometimes when they come back to me, they hurt more than they are actually important.

The worst period of my life so far was when my mom became sick. It was almost 10 years ago (in October). There were multiple things that were wrong, but for years the doctors couldn't find what it was exactly that caused all the problems: and the person that gave me life, that still watches over me when I get sick, even if she is sick herself, I watched her wilt like a flower and waste away like nothing. She was a rock, she was so strong and whenever I think of that period of my life, tears come to my eyes and I can't stop them (only thing I can't chalk up and play it up, because it hurts too much. My mom is definitely better now. Still not at 100%, but not at the level she was then. And I never got to experience puberty or typical things that come with teenage years. I was too busy taking care of my mom and praying to God to not take her away from me.

The downside of that was that at the time I didn't have the friends I have today. Except my family and a few people that I can call acquaintances (not sure if friends applies to them tbh) I didn't have anyone. I was in a dark place, having no one to talk, no one to have as my crying shoulder. Just: no one. But I want to think that my friend's' words are right: I became stronger because of it.

There are lots of things that I can talk over, and mention like the constant battle with finances, my school and the expenses, the stress of studying and exams, lots of things. I got better at dealing with those things, I wanted to be happy, but also I wanted to be healthy and with all the stress and thought I gave to things, I was on a good way on getting myself overworked and overwhelmed and I could've gotten easily doing something I'd regret.

Was I depressed? I dunno, I'm not sure how to label what I went through, what I'm going through atm. Some people have it worse than me. And I know, some may think I am exaggerating, but believe me I'm not. Fought this demon long enough to do that.

So, things were going their way, I was going my way. Writer's block happened, then it went away, I found new TV shows I liked, found different fandoms, met my online friends, my online family that's always here to support me, but mainly I met this person that I can call my best friend (never had one before, but she knows me really well, better than I even know myself, you know who you are, I'm not mentioning any names) and this is actually a post that I realized I wanted to write that came out of one of our conversations.

I remember a comment I read on Instagram once that said that whatever bothers you, you let it bother you for 5 minutes a day and then not think about it for the rest of the day. In the last few days I realized how bad I had it and how I really needed to practice this thing.

Mainly, I think things started when my grandpa died in November last year. I'm not really sure I ever dealt with the loss very well, not sure any of us has done that, but believe me when I say it, to see someone every day and then that someone being gone: nothing helps you with that. You learn to cope, you learn to move on, to smile and be happy again, but there's always going to be a chunk from you that would never be the same and won't ever learn how to deal with it. You just supress it, push it away, want it to hurt less, when in reality all you do is just hurt yourself more, drive the knife through your heart deeper and expect for the wound to heal itself and for you to be normal again. I came to realize: it doesn't. It only hurts less, but never goes away. A constant reminder with each passing day.

A few other things happened before and after this event that contributed to me getting into this depressive mood. I doubt myself for everything, but I had learned how to deal with it. In the last 9 months, that self-doubt just got stronger, and I lost myself somewhere along where even I couldn't find my way back to what I was, who I was so far. If you see me, I haven't changed a lot physically (I mean my expressions, the way I talk or do things etc.) but inside, inside there's a war.

I'm an emotional person. Always was and probably always will be. In the last few months I got emotional just a handful of times, and I know that whenever I have a good cry, the weight lifts off my shoulders and I could breathe more easily afterwards. Dunno why, but for a long time I didn't let myself cry. I'm not sure I even let myself grieve properly for the loss of a loved one. One thing after another, and I find myself in this situation where I can hardly get out of bed some days because I don't wanna face the world. I am never the type of person that wants to hide. Alone time? Sure. But, hiding? Never. Well the last few months I really wanted to hide. To crawl in on myself and not let anyone find me. I have this rule of never breaking contact with my friends, and I never did. I kept silent sometimes for a couple of hours or so, but always came back to them, because I knew if I let myself to do that, then I may as well be on my way to really losing touch to who I am.

And as with everything else in my life, I thought I had that under control. I have had happy moments, but the sad moments outweigh the happy ones, and recently I found myself being even more moody than I was before, easily snapping at people, be more emotional and see and think of things that they never were like that.

I'm sure you've all experienced this at some point, just when you are relaxed, your brain brings every bad thing, every decision you made, every thing you didn't do but you should've done it. Happened a lot to me in the last few months. And to think that I was vulnerable ro those oppressing thoughts that told me things were in a certain way (and they weren't) I came to snap and be a shit to my best friend, my anchor, and came to question myself of many things she said and did and I said and did, and even though I knew they weren't like that, my thoughts made me think they indeed were. It took me a while to get over that part (let's say it was a bend in the road that's fixed now, and I'm working on being permanently gone so I never ever repeat this horrible mistake) and it gets better with every day (because I give myself a reminder and practice the 5 minutes rule every day). There are setbacks of course, and I think there will be more times than not when I'll go through that thought process again, but now I know for sure that I will be able to resist that and not let it get on my way to happiness.

What I realized is that sometimes even when you consciously know that things are not like your brain tells you they are, you sometimes just give in to that and let all caution to the wind. I think that I need some time off myself from time to time. Time where I won't think of anything but what I do at the moment, time where I won't write or read, maybe just let myself have a nap or two, or maybe watch a TV show or a movie and not think at all. I need a break from my mind, and I need to work on it. And I will. Gave that promise to myself couple of weeks ago and I plan on keeping myself to it as much as I can.

While writing this, I've cried for the first time in maybe a month or so and let me tell you, I feel better already, like this stone has been lifted off of my soul, what crushed it before, it's not there anymore. And if you have things going on in your life where it seems like you are running out in circles and there's no solution on the horizon? Believe me there's always a solution to everything. You just have to keep fighting and not keep it in yourself if you have family and friends that love you and support you through everything. If you come to them and tell them, they'd understand. Some of them won't but even if it's just one person, it's enough. Let yourselves heal and never stop yourselves from doing the things you love and make you happy. And when things like these happen, don't let them rule with you or overwhelm you.

Give yourselves time. Like I realized I should have given myself time, and long time ago. And be honest to yourselves about everything, first and foremost.

Also don't forget: it's never too late.

Thank you for reading this, if you have, and once again, this was just a way for me to pour all of this out and in an attempt to ease myself towards healing.

Don't want anyone to worry about me, the point of this talk wasn't to make you worry about me. I'm good. I'll be good. I'm already feeling better and it's just a matter of time before the smiles I hid myself behind will go back to being genuine. Just I will give myself time.

#talk #my talk #personal life experience #just something I should have done months ago

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canaryatlaw · 3 years

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Okay, well today was exhausting and difficult but overall still good, somehow. Normal stuff, up at 8:45 for court, I was kind of miffed because I just had a short status date with only me and the judge and normally when I tell the coordinators that they’ll stick me at or towards the front of the line, but that didn’t happen today so I didn’t end up finishing until like 10, which wouldn’t have been too big of an issue except oh it’s Tuesday, which means it’s my clinic day. Joy. So I spent a while assigning cases and trying to get a handle on everything. This was of course the worst day, because I had two more court cases all in front of the same judge, at 11 and 3, so yeah, it’s a lot. I did know this in advance and considered asking to switch clinic days with my work day, but he was on the rotation this week to do Monday and then he’d have to do two days in a row, and I didn’t want him to feel like he needed to say yes because I was asking and stick him with two days in a row (which yes, I do with some frequency because we rotate mondays and I’m always up on tuesdays, but I’ve gotten used to it at this point, so it’s different). But I made it to the 11 am court date which of course involved more waiting. It was a case with one of our Spanish speaking clients, and generally when counsel and clients are waiting to go into the courtroom they’ll put them in the same breakout room, which just ends up being super awkward when I speak very little Spanish (basically what I can remember from four years of studying it in high school) so we just kind of wait there in awkward silence until we’re let in, so that’s always fun. Once we got into the courtroom it was clear there was a breakdown in communication, because someone covered my last court date for this case and the notes got lost somewhere along the way, so I’m expecting the other lawyer to have discovery requests but find out he doesn’t even have the paperwork....(which I mean he definitely could’ve asked the clerk for a copy of, but whatever) so I was like yeah I’ll send that to you and then hopefully we can figure things out there, so a fairly pointless court date, but oh well. I had a little bit of a break when I mostly worked on clinic stuff until I logged on for my motion hearing, which I was both excited and nervous about. Given everything and with them suspending hearings for so long, it’s been quite a while since I’ve actually had a contested argument, so I was looking forward to that, and of course ready to go for the jugular knowing what this asswipe has been doing to my client (who is so incredibly sweet), so I was plenty pumped up. Beginning was fine, started asking questions and was able to get the screenshots into evidence so that was a big relief. Once we finished the judge asked the dude if he wanted to cross examine the client, to which he said know which is good because I would’ve just objected every time I could (which is basically always when people don’t know the rules of evidence) until he got frustrated and gave up (it’s very effective). But he just comes with some bullshit evidence about how we can’t prove it was him and that he was getting stalked too so clearly it was this mysterious third party who knew all of their personal information that was targeting both of them....yeah that was a new one. The judge let me have a rebuttal afterwards and while I’m shredding his argument he tried to interrupt me and start talking and I was just like “I’m speaking now, don’t interrupt me” followed by the judge saying the same thing which made me happy a bit haha just getting to shut him down like that, and it happened another time too cuz this guy was just off his rocker. The judge took so long making her findings and I was nervous she was going to be like oh you should’ve sent out subpoenas to prove where they came from (social media subpoenas generally take at least 6 weeks to process), but thankfully she found my client’s testimony to be credible and extended the order for another two years, which is a big win. We did have two motions pending, the second being

called a petition for rule to show cause, and now that we’ve proved our side of things it’s now the dude’s burden to prove why he shouldn’t be held in contempt of court, so that will be fun, especially being that once the judge was clearly ruling for us the fucking guy left the zoom call like a fucking child and I had to hold back a laugh at just how ridiculous it all was. I have a follow up court date in the morning to get the new order entered and set the next court date, and we’ll see where we go from there. But yeah, I was really happy about this because it was a really big victory and I mean this poor girl’s life has been turned upside down by this asswipe and I want him to get all the potential consequences available, and we’re heading in the right direction at least. While I was in the hearing my boss who had been at the office today offered to drop off the Christmas presents two clients had sent me, which was very convenient because I was going to ask my work buddy when he’s in the office tomorrow if he could drop them off since we don’t live that far from each other, but this was just easier. So once the hearing ended and I debriefed with my client I went downstairs to pick those up, along with some office supplies she dropped off which were very helpful. There’s one big box and then two smaller presents (that were from the same people). I opened the big box first and when I was pulling it out I saw it said Steve Madden on the box and I was like whaaaaaaaaaatt??? So I pull it the rest of the way out and open it to find this super cute Steve Madden bag that definitely was expensive, so I was kind of surprised about that. The second presents, the first little box I open has a little charm in it with a card saying in memory of their son/brother whose death precipitated the events that the order came out of, and I just felt really touched that they’d think of me like that and share something so personal, it definitely meant a lot. The last one from the same people, I open to find 2 $100 gift cards, one of them for visa and the other American Express, one of them being target themed but you could spend it anywhere. So I was kind of blown away by all of these presents and just that they’d think of me like that. Both of the cases had required a good amount of night and weekend (and sometimes on vacation) work, so I definitely put a lot of effort into them, but like I said in the thank you emails I sent out, knowing I’m able to help someone out of a bad situation is absolutely the best part of my job, and that will always make me happy to help in whatever way I can. So that was a lot, but yeah. I had a good amount of work to finish and ended up working until about 7:30, after which I turned on Chicago Med. the laptop situation did not resolve overnight (as I expected) and I tried to restore it from a backup on an external hard drive but that failed so I tried the migration assistant thing again and apparently the issue was there was too much content on my old computer than space on my new one, so I went through a bunch of stuff and just deleted it until it would work, and I did get it to start working so I was very glad about that. Hopefully it’ll be done in the morning and we can go from there. Once I got that figured out I showered and started to get ready for bed, and now it’s like 1:45 am and I very much need to go to sleep, so I’ll be doing that now. Goodnight my friends. Sweet dreams.

#daily journal

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inspirationallyinsane · 6 years

Text

March 15 2018

Hello Tumblr. I am tired. I don't really know how I feel right now. Melancholic, I think. Sad would be too strong of a word, I am not necessarily sad. I just have this empty feeling all of the time. The feeling that I lowkey want to die but like, not all the way. Days go by and I don't even notice them. I want them to go away I want the days to be over. I'm not sure what to call that feeling. I have been waking up crying every morning. I don't cry during the day, nor do I feel the urge to, but I every morning I wake up in tears. I dream of him. Every night. It is restless. He isn't even awful in all of my dreams, in a lot of them we are happy. In a lot of them we are just being us, nothing unusual or particularly dreamlike in its plot. He's just there. I can see his face and his laugh and his smile and his red jacket and I am at peace. And I wake up crying because I think even in my subconscious I know. I know it isn't real and dream me wants it to be real so badly, she wants him more than anything and she knows. She knows he isn't really there. So. I'm trying really hard not to feel that way when I'm awake. I tell myself how awful he was to me and how he broke us without any care and how awful that is. When I am awake I am resentful and so I do not feel sad, only melancholic. But in my heart I can not resent him and so when I am not awake it is hard. In moments of honesty it is hard. I am fully aware that I am living every day inside of a huge lie to myself. I know that I would break if that lie were to go away and so for now I am not living genuinely. Which I don't love. I don't want to live inside a false reality that I have created just so I can be ok. I think Monday was the worst. On Monday I had not yet created my lie and so on Monday I woke up and cried until 8:30. I had to be at work at 8:45 and I really didn't want to be so weak as to call out sick for this shit and so I made the lie. I convinced myself of it and I was not late for work. I did not cry at work and I did not break. I was, by all appearances, my normal self. It actually wasn't until today that I even got around to telling Ben, who I share everything with, that my relationship was over. So. No one knew. No one really knows. And then there are the people that do know and they have been wonderful. The people who care about me. I had a lot of old friends (and new friends) reach out to me and offer me help/condolences/sympathy. It makes me kinda want to cry thinking about it. Happy tears, of course. It is astounding to me the variation of people in the world. How some people can be so awful all of the time for no reason, people who you have given everything to. They can treat you like shit on their shoe. And then there are the people who you have given nothing to, who you have done nothing for, and yet they still extend kindness. They extend kindness without an expectation of anything in return. I am amazed by these people. I would like to think that I am like these people. I deeply admire them. I appreciate everyone who reached out to me and helped me pull my feet from the ground. I am very lucky. I am not alone. I have a date on Saturday. I don't really want to do it but I will because if I do not then my lie will have an inconsistency and it will shatter. So. I'd like to think that I have grown since high school but here we are doing the same shit. I remember replacing Austin with AG and I knew, I knew that I would never feel the same way about AG but I did it anyway and it was awful. To him and to me. And here I am jumping into another relationship when I know I will be in love with someone else for the entirety of it. And y'all might say "it's just a date it doesn't have to turn into anything" but for the most part I am the one controlling that and I know myself well enough to know that if I do this I will be dating this dude within a few weeks. I've known him for almost a whole ass year I know exactly what I'm doing. We vibe well and I could totally have another AG-esque relationship. We literally haven't even started chilling yet and we're already talking for hours on discord playing league together until midnight. Unreal honestly. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I am supposed to do. I really want to wait for him. I really want to talk to him. I want to go to Target and talk to him. Just like I did when he pulled this shit the first time. But I think at some point I have to look at myself in the mirror and come to understand that I am worth more than this. I should not need to go to Target and confront him about things just to get him to talk to me. I am worth more than that. Am I worth more than that? I don't know how to place a value on people or actions. We have been studying morality and ethics in my philosophy class. There is a philosopher who stated that a person could decide whether an action was moral based on numerical values placed on its effects. So we can take Vince's actions and place values on them. Maybe this made him feel unbelievably happy. That gives 100 positive points to it, and it made me unbelievably sad, that gives 100 negative points to it. Since Vince's actions do not extend beyond the two of us, that is all the points to give to it (basically). Therefore, the points equally cancel each other out and his action was neither moral nor immoral. But from where I am standing, his action was clearly immoral or unethical. It was wrong and it was shitty. And then you can go assign numbers to an action I might do; go to Target. Let's say that plays out positively and I fix things. Vince would be happier (that is my genuine belief based on experience) and I would be happier. That's two hundo positive points and zero negatives. However, it clearly isn't the right thing for me to do as it would be a negative representation of my self worth. So? Who tf knows. Other philosophers say to do things that make you happy, as long as you don't act in an extreme. Seeing him again would make me happy. I do not believe asking him to talk would be an extreme. Stalking him would be and I am certainly not going to do that. So. Would going to ask him to talk be the wrong action? Some philosophers say that you need to do what's best for the most amount of people. I am not really sure what that would be in my situation. I'm not sure if you can apply utilitarianism to this. I can say though that I think my family would probably be happier to see me out of this situation, maybe Vince would be happier, and definitely this guy who wants to date me would be happier, so in that case waiting around for Vince would be immoral. I like philosophy a lot and I like the idea of living a reasonable life. Making every decision intellectually and thoughtfully. But I can not come to believe that every decision can be a rational one. There is no rationale to this. On his side or on mine. This is purely emotional. I also think that a lot of philosophers would argue that since it is purely emotional it is nothing more than a distraction from rational thought and it is worthless. Maybe that is how Vince sees it, as worthless. But I do not. I put so much value in our relationship. In him, in us. I valued it more than anything. I valued my love for him. I valued him as a person. I irrationally valued it with everything that I am. I still do. And I think that is another reason I feel it is important to talk to him. I respect my relationship too much to just leave it broken on the ground like this. I have never done that in any of my relationships and I don't want to start now. That is some shit. I built something beautiful with someone and to have it smashed down and trampled and not even give it the respect it deserves? That's awful. And another thing for me is that I reallyyyyy don't do short relationships. I fucking left a dude I was fully intending on marrying for Vince. Now, granted, that was certainly not a bad decision, I should have gotten out of that relationship anyway, but, the intention was that I would have a long and happy relationship with Vince. We loved each other. I love him. I don't understand. He told me that he loved me and he said that meant forever. Unless I did something shitty like cheat on him or change entirely as a human being. I have not done either of those things. I have not changed a bit since the first day we met and he is a smart little shit so he knew me from the first day we met. It is almost embarrassing for me. I posted a picture on insta and tagged it "unconditional" that was one month ago. How tf you going to go from loving someone unconditionally to being broken up in under a month. Shit's whack. Realistically, I still love him unconditionally. I did not lie when I said that. I will love him for the rest of my life. But like, I can't. Not publically or even on here. I have another few years, tops, before I have to stop. Before I have to start living again, out of pure necessity. That fucking sucks, I think. Four months. Unreal. I love him. Four months. It's stupid. We were so serious. Talking about shit like moving in together and marriage and children. Ridiculous. It is so outside of the realm of reality. It's shit. If we were just fucking around, if he just wanted to fuck around with me that's fine but you can't go and say all that in that case. You can't go and say that you are in love with someone and then two days after decide you're never going to talk to them again. People don't behave that way. That's borderline sociopathic. Maybe he never loved me. Maybe it was all a big lie. I'm not sure what he gained from it since we never fucked or anything which is usually why a guy would lie to you about that so. I don't really understand the logic behind the idea that it was all a lie either. And if he wanted like, stuff from me, like material items, he chose a really shit time to pull this. Y'all should've seen his birthday gift like god damn that boy would've loved it. I mean it wouldn't make sense for that to be the case either. Lord. I don't even know. I'm going to start spiraling if I keep writing and keep tryna figure this out. Work has been really good. I officially got my raise and I worked 35 hours last week so my paycheck is going to be looking hella nice next Friday. I'm going to be making over 800 dollars a paycheck on my regular hours. This paycheck should be around 850-900. It's going to be so nice. Making 1600 dollars a month. I feel good about life. Lowkey though our UB quit and I wanted to take her job but they're switching it all around to where taking that job literally would have been a demotion and less pay. Lmao our universal banker makes less than the drive through teller. Wtf. So I'm not really sure how to get promoted to a 40 hour a week position but I'm sure I'll get there eventually. Also! I'm super sad because they are switching Ben to only work Mondays and Fridays so the bank is going to be super boring Tues-Thurs. What am I going to do without my work pal :( but who knows, maybe the new prime time teller will be chill af as well :) Yaaa. So. I guess that's about all. I wrote a whole lot more than I originally intended to but that's how it be sometimes I guess. Goodnight, Tumblr~

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notgonnarememberthis · 7 years

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Beautiful- Chapter 5

I’m so sorry for the extended absence I’ve had a ton of stuff on my shoulders lately. First things first, I had another set of exams for college and then I started this new series called The Gifted (by the way I totally recommend to everyone). Finally I’ve settled enough to punch out another chapter.

Anyways I hope you guys enjoy this chapter I’m actually hella proud of it. The first part of this chapter was inspired by James Veitch is a Terrible Roommate if you haven’t seen it yet, I 1000% recommend it’s so funny and it just reminded me so much of Joanlock that I couldn’t help but write it in.

To Sherlock’s credit they hadn’t had an interesting case in about a month. It’s honestly a miracle that he’s made it this long without any of his usual shenanigans. Normally at this point he would’ve conducted an experiment involving explosions or a case study on Watson’s behavior at different intervals based on how much sleep she could get to function to the best of her ability. Not that he didn’t have substantial research on the subject already, more research could never hurt though.

It starts out with one. Watson’s lip quirks up as they pass a tiny display at the grocery, it’s a stack of rubber ducks carefully stacked in a pyramid. It’s an impulse buy not that he looks back at it but it made her smile so in the end it was worth it. It quickly becomes a game to test her observational skills. One day the duck disappears from its usual precipice on the shelf just below her products. If she notices its disappearance she doesn’t mention it.

However hours later he hears her call from downstairs, “Sherlock why was the duck in the cereal box?” To simply put it he’d moved her favorite cereal 3 inches to the left after sticking the duck inside. She should’ve noticed a lot sooner but at the same time he hadn’t heard her pad down the stairs until a mere 45 minutes ago.

Then it strikes him that he hasn’t pushed her to her top level annoyance in far too long. He almost misses her screaming his name from the other side of the Brownstone. So he buys more rubber ducks. With his devious plan now in action he changes their orientation every day when he’s sure she’s either not home or in deep slumber. One day he arranges them as if two are getting married, then in a cult like circle around a tube of toothpaste, even draping two of them in shreds of toilet paper as mummies for Halloween. His particular favorite was when he managed to perfectly recreate the scene from Titanic after the boat sinks.

After all of this effort there’s still no reaction. To his shock and appall, she didn’t even address the ducks. By all logic by now he should’ve at least gotten a smile out of her but no. So he ups his game purchasing a load of them for a shockingly cheap price off this Amazon user SpookyBoi. Three days later a box filled with 95 rubber ducks is delivered to Marcus’ home. He couldn’t very well set the delivery for the Brownstone lest Watson find it while he’s not paying attention.

So he sets up his new mission carefully setting up the ducks as if they’re crawling out of the drain itself. He barely even used a third of the ducks in the box so of course he already begins planning his next attack in case Watson doesn’t bring up the ducks yet again. Sure enough not even a peep from her even though when he returns they’re visibly moved after her shower.

Fine if she wants to play that way.

It takes 3 hours but he expands his mission having them crawl from the drain, up the side of the tub, out over the side, to the other side of the bathroom in rows of 10 until they narrow reaching a significantly larger duck wearing a crown. He’s not going to admit how much money he actually spent on this display but it’s oh so worth it when his phone buzzes late one night.

We need to talk about the ducks -JW

Ducks? -SH

Don’t play coy with me. I couldn’t shower this morning because I had to move over 100 of those stupid ducks. -JW

Srry. No more tiny ducks. Prmse. -SH

Honestly she should’ve caught onto the loophole right then and there but shockingly she didn’t. Only an hour later Gregson calls with reports of a triple homicide. He takes a separate cab excusing to Watson that he had to meet with Alfredo really quick and he’d meet her at the scene of the crime in about an hour. Rather he makes a quick trip to the local bath store and purchase 5 ducks about the size of a laptop. He positions them and he’s off to the crime scene.

You said no more ducks. -JW

I said no more tiny ducks. -SH

I’m meeting my mom for dinner tonight. When I get back I want all of the ducks gone. I don’t care how. It happens or I make your life hell -JW

His disappointment at the end of their game is met with a tiny bit of thrill at her threat. He still wants to see how far he could push her. He wants to get that oh so pleasant shout. Cn I kp 1? -SH

One. -JW

:) -SH

It takes him 2 hours and an air pump but the trap is set long before Watson walks in the door. The large inflatable duck takes up ⅔ of the bathroom and is positioned facing the door. He tries not to bounce with excitement as soon as she announces her presence with a sigh and the loud shut of the door.

“I’m going to take a shower.” She says, exhaustion evident in her tone. He nods not turning to face her lest he gives away the surprise.

He begins counting the seconds until finally,

“Sherlock!” Her voice calls in frustration. He bounds up the stairs two at a time, a giant smile plastered across his lips. She’s standing in the doorway of the bathroom, eyes flashing with fury. He’s hit suddenly by how nice she looks. Her makeup is done carefully, hair draped over her shoulders in loose perfect curls, black dress hugging tightly to her figure without being suggestive. She marches over to him and he notices how much shorter she is without her heels on. She barely comes up to his shoulder. “Do you think this is funny?” She seethes, yet beneath the anger he swears he sees a bit of a spark in her eyes, a challenge.

“Quackers.” He answers with a smirk.

“I warned you.”

“No you said I may have one.”

“I didn’t mean one that takes up half of the bathroom!” She steps forwards moving to push him back but he catches her wrists.

“You should’ve been more specific. I thought you would’ve learned after the tiny ducks.” Her chest swells with an angry breath. He’s suddenly aware of how close she’d advanced in her attempts to push him and the fact that he’s still holding her. He drops her wrists quickly but it’s too late. Memories of that night sweep over him once more. How he’d held her wrists above her head, how he’d pressed her against the wall lips buried in her throat, the way her nails scraped down his bare back.

She moves away quickly back into the bathroom, snatching a pair of scissors from the sink. With a quick slash the duck is torn and is quickly deflating. “Take your duck so I can shower.” It isn’t a request, rather a command. He obeys taking the limp yellow body and dragging it into the hall. The bathroom door slams in his face and he sends a quick text.

Need 2 tlk nw. Emrgncy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alfredo arrives at the Brownstone much faster than Sherlock anticipated, knocking frantically on the door. He yanks it open, his former guide’s eyes tracing over his form. “Did you relapse.” His voice is harsh and demanding.

“What? No.” Sherlock says defensively.

“Did you almost relapse? You don’t have anything here do you? You know Joan would kill you.”

“Slow down. It has nothing to do with relapse at all.” He visibly settles.

“What’s the emergency then?”

He goes quiet listening for the sounds of the shower. He continues once he’s sure he can hear the water hitting the tub. “I think I may be attracted to Watson.” He says quickly.

“You’re kidding me.” Alfredo scoffs throwing his head back. “I abandoned a client and broke 3 different laws on the road because you think you are attracted to your partner.”

“I’m beginning to think you’re not seeing how much of a problem this is.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” He sighs taking a seat on the couch. He pats the spot beside him inviting Sherlock to sit down. With a roll of his eyes he plops down beside him. “Joan is an attractive woman. Why is this a problem?”

“Because this isn’t the first time.” He mutters under his breath.

“We are not having this talk at 11:30 at night.” Alfredo groans rubbing his hands over his face.

“If you’re not going to be any help”

“I am going to help but I need you to stop with this cryptic shit.” He sits up now, “When did this start.”

“If I tell you it doesn’t leave this room. Not even Watson knows.” He waits until Alfredo nods before continuing. “18 years ago my father took me with him on a business trip to America. I went to a bar while he was at the meeting to have a few drinks. I met this woman, went home with her and we-”

“Please skip the details. I can assume.” Alfredo interrupts putting up his hand.

“Well I told her that my name was Sean. No use in giving my name if we were only going to meet once.”

“What’s the point of this side story.”

“The woman was Watson.”

“You slept with Joan.” Alfredo repeats in shock. Their bubble is broken by the shattering of glass behind them. He spins around and sure enough Watson is there clad in pajamas and her favorite red cardigan. A shattered tea cup lies abandoned at her feet. The water he heard running… It must’ve been the sink. How much of the conversation had she heard?

“You’re Sean.” She whispers in disbelief.

“Shit.” Alfredo mutters.

“Watson.” He’s on his feet approaching her quickly. Her eyes are shining with a new kind of anger, one that reflects disappointment… betrayal.

“Don’t.” She stops him backing away. “You knew. You knew and you didn’t even bother to tell me.” She scoffs.

“Watson.” Another step forwards and another backwards.

“How long did you know.”

“I-”

“How long!” She demands swiping furiously at a spare tear that escaped.

“Since we met.” He whispers in admission. An angry laugh mixed with a sob leaves her lips. She looks away so that he can’t see the tears of humiliation escaping. He steps towards her again taking her arms gently. “I’m sorry. I thought if I told you, you’d leave.”

“Well I found out. What now Sherlock?” She asks bitterly snatching herself from his grip. She hardens herself setting her jaw. “I’m staying at Marcus’ tonight.”

“Watson you don’t have to-”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” She snaps. “You don’t get to tell me what to do right now. Got it?” With that she leaves up the stairs to get dressed and packed for the night. Alfredo lingers for only moments before dismissing himself with a quiet apology. She doesn’t say a word as she storms out the door but he can see the angry tears streaming down her cheeks.

The Brownstone aches with silence in her absence.

#joanlock #joan x sherlock #sherlock holmes x joan watson #joan watson #sherlock holmes #elementary #elementary cbs #elementary au #one night stand #one night stand au #or is it

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godstoryforme · 4 years

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Comparing struggles.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "Hey, at least I don’t struggle with that?" or, "I wish I struggled with that instead, it would be so much easier to get through."

I have.

I've caught myself thinking these thoughts more often than I’m willing to admit.

A recent one would be, "At least my kind of struggle is the more wholesome kind of struggle."(lol, I like to imagine what God is thinking as He hears my thoughts🤦‍♀️)

A big part of my life, I’ve always wanted to be someone else. Someone smarter, funnier, more confident, prettier, friendlier, happier, stronger...etc. Even now that I know Jesus I still struggle with this comparison game.

I want to wholeheartedly love God’s story for me but why does someone else’s life just look so much better?

If God loves us all the same, why can’t I get person XYZ’s life instead? Why must I go through pain, frustration, rejection, sickness in this particular way? Why can't I just be naturally smarter, prettier, stronger and nicer?

Over the years, I have learned to convince myself of a few ways to look at this, (if you ever wanted bad advice that appears to be good...go ahead take this. PLEASE DON'T😂)

I don't know her/his story. I don't know anyone's story the way I know mine. How would I know that her/his struggles are truly 'better' than mine? Maybe they do struggle more than I see on the surface. If so, then I can accept these struggles, as long as those 'perfect' people do struggle more than they seem to.

It could be worse. While there are people with 'better' struggles, at least mine is not the 'worse' kind of struggles. I can accept this, as long as I don't have the 'worse' struggles out of everyone else.

I can't change what God's given me anyways. Might as well make the most of what I've got. I can only be the best version of myself. I can accept that I have these struggles, as long as I actually do attain the best version of me.

...

I mean those aren't lies right? I could continue to find comfort convincing myself of these three points...right?

There's nothing necessarily untrue about any of the statements above, but I realised that the core of the issue is not identified.

Ultimately, when I start to compare struggles and generate all of these thoughts, what are they really rooted on? I can't deny that underneath all this comparing...are these assumptions, "God your story for me kind of sucks, I know a better story for myself that ends better.""Hey God, you got this part wrong. I reckon someone else should've gotten these struggles instead.""Yo God, I wonder if I could write my own story instead? I think I might know what I need more than you."

Maybe a more personal example would help, "God, why would you give her/him that internship opportunity when she/he doesn't even study 1/10th as hard as I do? I even contacted the employer before anyone else did! I should've gotten that opportunity."

One day, I was in this cycle of reasoning with myself (with points 1, 2, 3) when I finally realised...wait.

Underneath this frustration, am I not literally declaring that my thoughts are better than God's. That my way is better than God’s way?

Here's how I see it.

God is all powerful right? He is the God of all possibilities AND the God of all impossibilities. I meaaaan, God parted the red seas man (Exodus 14:21-23) and He raised the dead to life (John 11:43-44) and much more.

Which means God can absolutely give me everything I want (and everything you want).

He can give me the grades I want, the job I want, the body I want, the personality I want, the life I want, the friends I want, everything.

But He doesn't.

Why?

Because...

Isaiah 55:8-9;“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

What am I doing as I complain, get frustrated and upset at the struggles I wish I didn't have?

I am standing in the face of the God who created me (and every single atom within me), and declaring that I do not like His plan.

I am telling an infinite and powerful being who created the entire universe and every planet within it and questioning His lack of ability to give me a better life 🤦‍♀️

Could I create an entire universe with my words alone? Can I see into the future and the past without time as a barrier? Am I the creator of good and the infinite source of all good, love and hope?I can't even walk on water.

Struggles with broken relationships, struggles with pride, struggles with pornography, struggles with boundaries, struggles with failing uni, struggles with unemployment, struggles with lying, struggles with same sex attraction, struggles with insecurity, struggles with dating a non-Christian, struggles with body image, struggles with depression...

(man, struggle is starting to sound weird the more I say it in my head, struggle struggle struggle 🤪)

I can't deny that I often react more critically at some of the mentioned struggles more than others. Especially the ones I do not struggle with.

It occurred to me one day that God doesn't see my struggles as much holier or less holier than person XYZ's struggles🤯

I believe in a God who sees our hearts amidst the struggles, i.e. am I giving up on the struggle against sin or am I fighting hard against the choice I have to sin and surrendering it to God? I felt reminded that more than what my specific struggle is, God cares more about my responses to these challenges.

Do I allow these challenges to create a barrier between me and God? Or do I shift my focus off what I'm struggling with and Trust in the God who gave me this struggle?

I've definitely lived like someone else's struggles are waaaay less holy than mine, but it's time to surrender this particular struggle to God.

We struggle with different struggles because God created us to be different people. No struggle is better or worse than another, but it's simply just different... unique... special.

God uses all our struggles.Mine is not better than others.Mine is not worse than others.Mine is simply different.

If I had committed to live by the 3 tips above, I would've simply been ignoring the value behind my struggles and would continue to miss out on what God is really teaching me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly enjoy my struggles. But my struggle is part of God's story for me. It shapes who I am. God uses them to point me towards who He created me to be.

If God promises to work all things for His good purposes, I choose to believe in His promises more than my personal observation of how messed up life is (Romans 8:28).

Another danger in comparing my struggles is that I'm taking my attention off what God is doing in, through, and for me, and instead, focusing on what God is doing in, through and for some one else. You know what I should really be comparing my struggles with? Who I am today compared to who I was before I knew Jesus. Who I am today compared to who I was when I first started to commit my life to Jesus.

I want to always remember that my value as a child of God is not affected by the kind of struggle I have. My worth has been set and it's unchangeable. If God says my struggles do not define me, then I don't believe anyone else's struggles should define them.

I pray I will slowly surrender this toxic game of comparing my struggles and just fully embrace the struggle God has ordained in my life. I pray I will surrender all the thoughts and actions that seem to declare that my way is higher than His.I pray that especially when I'm struggling, people will be able to see that my life is not perfect, but I can still be filled with joy and hope because I know that God is good and He is using all this as part of His good purposes to save the world.I pray that you and I will experience the power of God's love and grace through our struggles.

God has a different story for me. It's different. It's not better or worse than yours or hers or his. I pray we will live like we 100% believe that this is the best story there ever could be for us.

#reflections #thoughts #jesus #why #bts

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