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hillbillyoracle · 1 year

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For those with home related New Years Resolutions:

I’ve been a disabled homemaker for 5 years now so I wanted to share the resources that have helped me take our home from complete chaos to reasonably functional and enjoyable.

If you’re not functioning...

If you’re constantly tripping over things and getting injured, eating food that makes you sick, dealing with pests in the home, and struggling to complete basic tasks like feeding, clothing, and bathing yourself, then you should start with...

KC Davis aka StruggleCare aka DomesticBlisters

TikTok

Book

Podcast

Website

I recommend KC Davis’s stuff with a big heaping dose of “keep what works and leave what doesn’t.” She’s one of the few people I’ve seen talking about compassionate care focused on maintaining a level of personal functioning rather than maintaining a home. Her stuff has been very helpful to me during some very challenging times.

I think her some of her best work is probably her videos on the 5 step tidying process, the ones on setting up bedside hygiene and food kits, and the ones on dealing with DOOM (Didn’t Organize Only Moved) boxes.

That being said she has a tendency to use neurotype as a shield for not reckoning with other dynamics in a situation (gendered, narcissism, etc) when asked for advice by viewers which can lead to this “all people with neurodivergence are good” vibe which I find off putting (especially as an autistic person). I mention it because her bleh stuff was all I was coming across and I missed out on her good stuff for a while. It’s worth picking through though.

Her book is a little better on the whole.

If you’re functioning but still very overwhelmed...

If you can complete your daily activities of living pretty regularly but you’re still losing papers you need, rebuying items you didn’t realize you had, or looking around your home at a mess that feels impossible to clean, then check out...

Dana K White aka A Slob Comes Clean

YouTube

Website

Podcast

Books

I love Dana K. White’s stuff. Honestly, I recommend her to every level on this list but I think she probably shines brightest in this category.

Her 5 step decluttering process is pure fucking gold. It’s a decluttering process that doesn’t rely on feelings at all - really helpful for those with trauma or alexthymia generally. She has multiple videos explaining it and even more where you can watch her go step by step with someone over the course of an hour and make a huge dent in some very overwhelming mess. Its the process I’ve used to go through over 50 moving boxes to declutter so we could fit in this much smaller space we moved to in April.

Her day to day cleaning advice is also excellent. Her concept of dishes math has really helped me make decisions about what chores to focus on when I’m low energy. Her 14 Days to Opening Your Front Door series is amazing if you’re having to host for a given occasion but your home is a wreck.

If you’re not painfully overwhelmed by your stuff but there’s still a lot of friction in your home...

If your stuff doesn’t overwhelm you but your home still doesn’t feel that good to be in, you’re still not finding things when you need to or it’s taking you a long time to find them, you create homes for things but they look terrible or they never seem to stick, then you’d love...

Cassandra Aarssen aka Clutterbug

YouTube

Books

Website

Podcast

Clutterbug types were kind of a game changer for me. It’s what really opened my eyes to why the systems that worked for me did not work for my partner. She is a Bee - lots of small categories that are all very visible - and I am a ladybug - big bucket categories that aren’t visible. When I reorganized our space according to the compromise between our types, Butterfly - big categories and very visible - all of a sudden the systems just worked so much better. There were many fewer fights sparked by things not getting put away or not being able to find things. So I really recommend her videos on the different types and examples of each.

Quick word of warning, she does have regular videos about diet and exercise that I personally find pretty triggering to my disordered eating habits so I’m not subscribed to her and just check her channels every now and then so it’s easier to skip over videos where that might be a topic she talks about.

Cliff Tan aka Dear Modern

TikTok

YouTube

Website

Book

Cliff Tan’s work is the most recent of these resources that I’ve come across but holy shit I cannot recommend it enough.

Because my parents didn’t originally intend on my partner using the room she wound up using, there’s simply not space to keep some of the furniture and items in there anywhere else. Meaning she just kind of has to keep a fair bit of junk in there. But after watching (read: binging) the Dear Modern YouTube channel and seeing him completely change spaces by moving furniture around, I redid my partners room over the course of about 2 hours and it’s a completely different room. Way more comfortable and she’s already mentioned she’s getting much better sleep.

So I really really recommend his stuff. Sometimes what you really need isn’t new stuff but just rearranging what you already have.

If you’re pretty content with your home but want to streamline the process of caring for it...

If your home is pretty functional but regular tidying, deep cleaning, and maintenance tasks specifically keep falling through the cracks, then you might like...

FlyLady System

Website

The Secret Slob - YouTube

Diane in Denmark - YouTube

There are lots of systems out there for house keeping but I’ve yet to try or see one that seems to do better than FlyLady for me. Since with my illness my energy varies wildly, I don’t necessarily do things when her system recommends but I do them according to the priority her system ascribes to them as I’m able.

FlyLady is a notoriously convoluted website so I really recommend learning from a secondhand source. The Secret Slob and Diane in Denmark are my favorites.

Maintenance Lists

This Old House

There a lots of maintenance lists out there and honestly finding one and doing what you can is better than nothing. I personally like the ones from This Old House because they’re broken up into annual, seasonal, monthly, and some weekly tasks - which are essentially priority categories, similar to FlyLady. I’ve linked the winter one here but there are many others to pick through depending on what you want to work on.

Bonus: Paper Clutter

My System

Link

This is what I’ve arrived at after years of experimentation. It’s an amalgam of a few different ideas from different systems in one place. I keep mind on my fridge but put yours where ever you’re dumping paper anyways. If you’re in a room or live in a car/backpack - I have ideas on how to organize it for those in this post too.

Sunday Basket

YouTube Video

The Minimal Mom’s Video

She’s in Her Apron Video

Need something a little more robust? The Sunday Basket is probably be best version of a paper (and other stuff) system I’ve seen. Got something that needs dealt with? Chuck it in the Sunday Basket. The creator also has videos on long term paper storage ideas if that’s something you need as well. But her videos usually run an hour long so I recommend starting with either the Minimal Mom’s video or She’s in Her Apron’s video.

Bonus: Digital Clutter

PARA System/Building a Second Brain by Tiago Forte

YouTube Channel

Website

Book

Essential Video

The branding on this system can be very productivity tech wonk which is off putting to me but when I finally started hearing what was at the core of it and applying it - my digital life was changed. I’ve linked my absolute favorite video he’s done here. Ignore the bit about it being the last in the series, most of us are already using some note app and if you like it you can always go back and watch the rest. But just applying what’s in that video to your digital systems will make things easier to find.

Hope this helps someone out there!

#homemaking #housekeeping #getting your shit together #organizing #adulting #life skills #home #decluttering #studyblr

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jun-of-love · 1 year

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i will spend my whole life loving you- kim mingyu

tw: none

genre: fluff, angst, kim mingyu

words: 1.7k

pairings: yn × mingyu

a/n: this a very random scenario that popped up in my head. it's all imagination, and does not in any way reflect mine or mingyu's opinions, values, thoughts etc. with that being said i hope you like it :)

“Hey Y/n, is something wrong with Mingyu?”

You had just parked your car when Seungcheol’s text popped on your screen. You read it, sighing deeply. Mingyu had been behaving really weird lately, no one knew what was going on in his mind. Considering that his contract with HYBE was expiring soon, you gave him some space as you figured that he needed time to figure out the specifics. The date was still far away, and the renewal discussion had just been initiated, there was seemingly no reason for Mingyu to act so disturbed over this. You closed your eyes and massaged your temple, the events of last week replaying in your head.

“Gyu, how was practice??” you chirped as soon as he entered the house, eyes void of energy. “Hey, is something wrong?”

“It's everyday babe, nothing special. I’m just tired, I’m going to sleep in the guest bedroom.” He picked up Uri, your cat, and slammed the door shut. You were left with Doori, your other cat in your lap meowing at the shift in the energy. You didn’t want to tire him further or initiate any fights so you left the incident at that, even though it was only in the most intense fights that one of you would sleep in the guest bedroom.

However, before you could even wake up, Mingyu had left the house to go god-knows-where. All he left behind was a lame sticky note saying ‘Don’t worry about me, I had to head out early for some work.’ You were surprised but also concerned; Mingyu never lied, you both had each other’s schedules in your phones, and there was no reason for him to get out of the house at 7 in the morning. You texted and called him multiple times, but he had his phone switched off, further irritating you. You had no time to worry about this, as your own work started in a few hours and you had to get ready for another hard day of dealing with patients.

And so it continued for a week. Mingyu refused to interact with you, or anyone else for that matter. He would sleep early if he reached home before you, or came home after you fell asleep and left before you could wake up. He would only talk as much as necessary with his members and would be on his phone or staring off in the distance for hours. The latest episode of GoSe they shot ended up giving little to no screentime to him because of his low enthusiasm. For a roaring extrovert like him, this behavior was getting very concerning.

You stood in front of your apartment door, deciding to end this episode once and for all. You hadn’t sent him your regular text telling him that you’ve left work. You were back early, and you could hear the sounds of some activity going on inside. You quietly entered the house, leaving your things on the sofa and tip-toeing your way toward the kitchen.

There he was, back hunched over the sink, doing the dishes from the meal he had just cooked. Mingyu had a habit of humming or talking to himself while doing household chores, but he was eerily silent today. The sound of water splashing and utensils clanking against each other was deafening when not paired with his sweet humming. Your eyes prickled with tears, he really wasn’t feeling okay.

You walked towards him slowly, hugging him tightly from the back. A confused “Huh?” leaves his lips as he registers your presence. “You’re back early.” He said, in a vague tone.

“Kim Mingyu, what is wrong with you?” Mingyu shifted uncomfortably at the mention of his full name, but you refused to let go. “You haven’t even looked at me properly this past week. You’re not talking to me or anyone else at all,” You made him turn around, looking deeply into his eyes. “Did I do something wrong? Please, please talk to me.” Your tone turned into a pleading one without intending to, you had never been the one to hide your emotions well.

It felt as if all hold Mingyu had over himself fell apart. He hugged you tightly, his body slightly shaking, indicating that he was crying. You only stroked his back, trying your best to comfort him despite your overwhelming concern for him. Exactly what could have happened for him to break apart like that? He had been through malicious scandals and stalker fans yet this was the first time you had seen him so vulnerable.

“Y/n, I don’t want to do this anymore.” Mingyu managed to say between sobs. Your mind went blank and your body went cold, he wanted to break up with you?

“Do what?”

“This. Whatever I’m doing right now.” He continued. “I want to stop being an idol.” He stared into your eyes, desperately looking for validation. “I’m tired of this life. I’ve been working to the bone since I was fifteen, I have achieved more than I have ever dreamed, I just-” He hiccuped, “I just don’t want to be public property anymore. I don’t want to fake my personality, my emotions, my opinions 24/7, I’m sick of this.” He held your hand tightly, “Earlier I didn’t care, I had no one to come back home to, I could spend as much time as I wanted to in practice rooms, studios, broadcasts what not. But ever since I’ve met you, it kills me every time I have to hide our relationship for our safety, leave you and our daughters alone for months to perform on tours and even when I’m here, I always have some goddamn schedule to follow, and it's getting sickening to me! I just want to live with my family for as much time as I want.”

You didn’t know what to say. You knew his career was his dream, passion, and everything he has ever wanted and you also knew that he was slowly getting sick of it, but to this point? All of this to be with you? All you knew was that you would support him no matter what. “Let the contract expire then.” You said.

“What?”

“I said, fuck your idol industry. Leave your job. Stay at home and do whatever you want. Let’s spend all of our days and nights together. Let’s scream out our relationship to everyone. Leave all this behind if it is making you so miserable.”

“Really?” Mingyu asked incredulously. “You don’t have a problem with it? I’ll be unemployed. You’ll have a jobless husband.”

“Aha, you’re going too far Mr. Mingyu, you gotta put a ring on my finger first before calling yourself my unemployed husband.” You chuckled, careful not to show how giddy the word ‘husband’ made you.

However, Mingyu looked unaffected. “Don’t joke around.” He said sternly. “I won’t be able to be the man you deserve. I won’t be able to contribute to the house, or buy you pretty things, or give our daughters the best toys they deserv-”

“Gyu, are you crazy? You are the man I love. I don’t even care what I deserve, and even if I did I’m sure I’ve gotten way more than that.” You kiss him softly on the lips. “Retire and do whatever you want to do. Plus, I don’t get why you’re so worried about the financial part, have you forgotten how fat your bank account is? The bigass investments your accountant has made sure you have?? You own a fucking building for God’s sake, who put all this unemployment bullshit in your head?”

“Are you okay with me being a house-husband then?” Mingyu challenged, “What if I tell you I want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you and our fur daughters and in the future, our children, and not work a day in my life ever at all ?!?” His eyes were so determined it made you laugh.

“Mingyu, what the hell are you talking about??” You giggled. “I would love that. I don’t like that domestic stuff as much anyway, you know that. Coming back home from work to a warm meal and a delicious man? How could I possibly say no??” His confused face made you laugh more, and hug him out of pure adoration.

Mingyu continued pouting,” I won’t be a high-value man then.” You snapped his head towards him, where was he getting all this stuff from? “Wouldn’t you be embarrassed when people ask you what your husband does and you have to say that he does nothing?”

“Who told you that? Let people believe whatever they want to believe. Who cares what people say, Gyu? As long as we’re happy together, as long as we’re balancing our relationship and our home properly, I don’t give a flying fuck about what anyone says.” You grab his face looking straight into his eyes. “I will yell and announce to everyone that I have a stay-at-home husband and everybody will be jealous to the very bone, you just see. Having you as a partner is such a flex, babe, don’t let this high-value shit get to your head, it is all bullshit anyway.” Mingyu smiles lightly, mostly from your overwhelmingly passionate speech. “Even if you were to sell your investments and your buildings, and donate that money to charity, I will still be able to support the house comfortably so Don’t. Worry. About. The. Money. Your girlfriend is a dentist” You finish your speech with a smirk, making him chuckle.

Mingyu just held you in his embrace tightly, words like ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ couldn’t possibly suffice for the extent of adoration and respect he had for you in his heart. He felt emotions that he couldn’t quite describe, but he was sure that relief and gratitude were some of them. A huge burden had been lifted off of him, and he could only hope you knew how much you had helped him till now. The grave concerns and issues bothering him for so long felt so small to him, now that he had your support. He could take over the world, or live his dream domestic life, everything was possible as long as you were by his side.

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vitaminseetarot · 3 months

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PAC (Pick-A-Candy): February's Message For You ❄🕯

Hey y'all, welcome back! Thank you so much for playing in my first tarot game. I'm so glad to have the chance to reach out to everyone for inquiries. Thank you so much for your feedback as well! I'm still reading through your responses and feel grateful for all the positivity. There have been a lot of delays throughout this month and I haven't had as much time as I'd like to be on here in January, but I'm itching to pick up the pace in February. I'm planning another game in early March, topic to be announced, so stay tuned.

I wanted to start this month with a short and sweet pick a card reading to give you advice. For anyone celebrating this time of year, may you enjoy this time of peace and recovery and maybe some really tasty snacks with hot cocoa too. Pick whatever chocolate below looks most appealing to you. ❄🕯

Pile 1: Bronze Toffee Nut Pile 2: Silver Milk Chocolate Pile 3: Gold Dark Almond

Pile 1: Bronze Toffee Nut

Land:Tree:Sun, King of Mechanisms: Heliacal Chronograph, 26 Duality, King of Swords, XII Hanged Man, XV Devil, 7 of Swords, 7 of Wands

Hey, you! Did you recently complete something big or reach a major milestone in your life? If so, congratulations! Your efforts are paying off, if not now then over time they will show. But first, before doing or planning anything else, you need to sit down for a little while and just… breathe. Breathe deep. Replenish your mind from harrying so much over all that you have had to, have to, or will have to do (that was a mouthful, so I can't imagine how much clutter that is in the brain! Also I channeled the word "harrying" which I never use and had to look it up lol, but the word definitely still fits). Now is not the time to push, but a time to breathe and reflect.

You're in a time of transition, and this could mean many things. It could be a move or a job transfer, or you're thinking of how to change your way of living. I'm feeling that many in this pile are still actively working towards their New Years resolutions. Some in this pile may have had a very busy year, while others here wish to shift gears and become focused on doing more, a lot more than last year. Are you trying to make up for lost time? It's only February, pile one, so you have way more time than it seems to get things straightened out or set into motion. You're not creating a time debt by using your break or time off to actually self soothe, like most people do. Your tenacity is admirable, but in terms of self development, too much push to get things done might set you back.

You must balance between resting and recovery, all while strategically planning for your next course of action. Some of you may be struggling to get organized, but making schedules and lists could help immensely, so you're not spending as much energy trying to remember everything. There are also apps that are designed to help you stay on track, giving you more time to just hang out and be. There is nothing wrong with spending this entire month on decompressing from everything you've had to do. It's not going to happen when you're working on something else. That's a distraction, not progress, to work as a way of avoiding healing. However you decide to relax, make sure it actually involves relaxation. If that means laying in bed and watching TV for the day, then that's what it means. If you relax more by doing a chore, then make it something simple to complete like folding clothes.

Don't feel guilty for taking time off, but don't let the time slip by either. Schedule "Don't-Do-Much" days and see what kind of difference it makes to your productivity and routine over time. Think of this transition as an intermission of sorts. This is your chance to get up, use the restroom, order more popcorn, text a friend, etc. before getting back to your movie. You can choose not to get up, but once the intermission has passed, the movie will not pause for you. So use this opportunity to rest with intention, knowing that when change comes to thrust you into the next phase of life, it may do so unexpectedly fast and you'll be more ready for it.

Keep your ambitions lit up, because even as you rest, those dreams are still at work. Don't think that time off means abandoning any plans or being lazy. It's a matter of decluttering your mind space so you can actually focus on the next thing better, and you can't drain the brain of all your pain if you replace worry with more worry. Life is more than a series of boxes to tick off, saying "what's next? what's next? huh? what's next? HUH??" right after each one is done. If life worked that way, sleep wouldn't be a thing, and likely neither would we, because how can anything sustain that gogogo fever forever? Protect your right to self care, and don't let anyone tell you it's wrong to take time out just for you.

Pile 2: Silver Milk Chocolate

Spiritual, 7 of Prisms: Flux Tempest, 19 Unlimited Possibilities, King of Cups Rx, 2 of Pentacles, I Magician, 9 of Cups, Page of Wands

You may feel overwhelmed right now, like a lot of changes are happening at once, or could happen imminently. Things may feel topsy-turvy, and it's a struggle just to get through the day to day with all this weighing on your mind. There could be different options to choose from or a lot of emotionally heavy decisions that could be leaving you feeling a bit straggled. It could be a decision to undergo a kind of treatment, or many job offers suddenly come to you, and rather than feeling elated for the opportunities, you're feeling anxious about what to do more than anything.

Many opportunities and risks abound, and although it isn't easy, it's important to spend some time to figure out what you wish to do. We all want to make the best choices in life, but sometimes life involves a good deal of trial and error and retrial no matter how logical and sensible we try to make things behave. A lot of important details can get swept away in the rush to resolve a conflict as quickly and easily as possible. Even when the best choice is made, things can still happen. Life can be pretty random and chaotic at times, in ways not even shuffled cards can keep up with. It's not so much the choosing, but staying committed to the choice, that can be most difficult.

It's time to go within and listen to spirit for guidance. You need some time and space in order to feel this out, not just think it through. Our mind can work all day scoping out each and every pro and con, and that's where meditation comes in. Let the answers flow towards you naturally. When you can embrace the change to come from this choice, rather than fearing it, the way will light up for you and it'll be smoother sailing from here. The seasons will change no matter how long this time out will take for you, but one spring passed means another spring will eventually come again. If it doesn't work out the first time, there will always come another.

You have a heightened ability to manifest your desired outcome this month, and you may find that some things will naturally fall into place as soon as your mind is made up and you let go. Yes, anything can happen, but that also includes good things, it even includes things you have deeply wished for. Envision the best possible outcome first and don't get caught in too many details about how it should play out. We can trick ourselves into thinking that by assuming the worst, we can prepare for the worst. Instead, prepare for the best case scenario for you and you'll be surprised at how much easier it gets to sift out and manage challenges when they do show up.

Keep your mind steady and heart focused on what you want. Remain in a space of enthusiasm for what you'd like to happen. The page of wands is very eager, it's like they have the energy of a little kid pointing to a famous performer on stage and going, "that'll be ME someday!" Not "that could be me" or "ah, if only that could be me," but "that WILL be me." Think of your motivation as a fire that must be tended to on a regular basis. No matter how small or large the flame in your heart is, it will be the light that guides you into making the best decision for yourself. Take good care of it.

Pile 3: Gold Dark Almond

Land:Animal:Moon, Macroscoria, 10 Burden, King of Cups, VIII Strength, King of Pentacles, Knight of Cups, II High Priestess

Your sensitivity and overall empathic ability is high right now. There may be an inclination to feel a heightened sense of compassion for others, particularly animals (you have a lot of animals present in your spread, and Animal:Moon talks about those kind of connections in particular). Animal companions want to help you out this month, whether on the physical or astral plane, so turn to them for healing just as they would turn to you.

Create solid psychic boundaries to protect your mind. A lot of intense psychic energy could be purged through with the Macroscoria card. I'm almost reminded of what's it like to delve through Akashic records (or as I call it the Hall of All Knowledge), but this is a more universal, primal energy coming through? The card reminds me of Earth in its early stages when it was all still molten and predominated by immense fiery tectonic activity, fundamental forces bursting from beneath. Instincts can seem basic, but they're powerful. This energy could be coming from within you most likely, but you could be picking up on others' chaotic moods as well. This isn't a force to fight, but to work in your favor. Anger for example isn't wrong, but there's a right and a wrong way of expressing anger. It's a matter of channeling it into a proper medium.

If you were drawn to pile 2, there may be a message for you there as well, as the King of Cups is in the same position. There's an emphasis on being able to stay present with others with deep compassion while staying emotionally detached. Detachment is not the same as not caring, it's a state that allows you to embody what another is feeling and give them space to feel without losing yourself in it. Try to adopt an observational approach. When you are in a state of experiencing intense emotions, we can also practice the art of "stepping aside" to observe ourselves and learn from these feelings instead of pushing them away.

You and others must remain resilient, as you could be undergoing a challenging time. Don't push the limit though. Lend a helping hand when needed, but remember that you too deserve that same compassion in return. Whatever this challenge is, there is a potential for growth to come from this. This month could bring in a special reward for you, what that is isn't clear but your good efforts won't go unnoticed. It may feel difficult now, but when things start to improve, you'll innately know, and the payoff could be rather big, or more than what you expected. You may feel that many could be leaning on you now for support, but trust that whatever support you provide will in turn be granted back to you.

Observation doesn't mean apathy or overanalysis. It's about sitting and being present with what's happening around you and within you. Mindfulness exercises could help you out a lot this February, along with writing down your nightly dreams or even making a vent journal to scribble out frustrations. Make sure your emotions don't stay bottled or contained or they could burst. Instead, check in every day and find one thing that will help vent out those emotions. Your intuition is your best friend now.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

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rin-and-jade · 9 months

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Who am I.. : A post about being blurry

I got a few things to talk about here, while some of you are already aware of its struggles and have experiences around it, i’d love to add on more about this (it’s a long post) so don’t mind if i do;

To reiterate, being blurry means you’re in a moment where identifying who is out (at front) and who is currently talking (in co-con) takes huge effort or near to impossible in resolving this cloudy situation,, as well as having hazy + worser memory and lastly, bad internal communication that may occur.

There are some factors that are not limited to:

Exposed to stressors

Exhaustion

Lacking restful sleep

Dissociative mechanisms

Being overwhelmed

etc..

People may have different tolerance level and frequency that also could be out of natural reasons and lifestyles (as well as periods of alertness, yes, it shifts in different hours of the day), when having this once in a while its not a prob at all.. but what if it became more frequent than usual? Do you know what to do? If you do please reblog your own approach so it can help others. And for those who don’t i do have my own and i’ll give some of my approaches after i tell some potential effects that can happen when being blurry:

Having inconsistency in portraying outside

Dealing with confusion, can cause conflicts inside

Harder time in deciding or responding

Trouble around communicating with parts effectively and clearly

Memory gaps and losing track of time

These things aren't lovely, not even a bit.. so i have two ways to deal with it depending on context and situation,, Solve or Adapt. Solve is where you want to end the blurriness for good and Adapt is when Solve does not work or can’t be bothered to at first place.

Choosing Solve:

Using list of alters (especially pk bot) and go through each of them, seeing which one resonates.

Same thing but with music, make sure its the songs you know they (your other parts) listen to or from the provided playlist already.

Pay attention to a distinctive trait that pops out from all the meshed stuffs going on (specific way of talking or thinking or vibes, anything else)

Think of what clothing style you’d like to wear? Then check that with who would dress like that.

Choosing Adapt:

Give up with demanding tasks (unless if it’s important, just use your energy efficiently) and consider relaxing. This helps keeping mental load at bay.

Feeling unsure about who you are can be uncomfy, doing some comfort activities might do the trick.

Prepare a notes app and jot everything down to keep track of chores or work to do or remembering important things, don’t take it lightly because memory won’t be as helpful as usual.

Keep workload and stress at minimum, if it can be done later then put it aside, if not,, try breaking it to easier bits and commit to it with breaks if needed.

Last thing i want to tell is that I’ve seen my friends being blurry but not wanting to resolve it either due to not having enough mental capacity to deal with that, or having brain fog which makes it harder, or having way too much overlapping traits/identities that is beyond confusing which demotivated them, or not cut for it due to not enough understanding yourself/others to discern at the first place.. and thats okay, because im here if you need some help (or you can ask your trusted friend) and i hope this post is informative, stay slay guys.

- j

#did #actually did #did community #did system #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #plural #system stuff #sysblr #Jeducates

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ros3ybabe · 6 months

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Life Update After a Few Days: October 18th, 2023 🎀

I’ve been a little busy with school, work, resting, and starting my workout routine back up, so here’s a little update!

I’m getting a tattoo soon! I know the aesthetic of my blog is pink and girly and coquette and I love everything that comes with the aesthetic and the lifestyle but I have an affinity for gothic style/spooky tattoos, so I’m getting a decent sized spider tattoo on my right thigh and I’m super excited! This is the first big ish sized tattoo besides the two small ones I have, and it’s the first tattoo appointment I’ve ever made so I’m really excited. A little anxious, especially for the shading portion of it, but I’m looking forward to how good it’s going to look when it’s finished and how much more confident it’s going to make me!

I’ve started working out at the gym again! My current schedule is three days of weightlifting (pull day, leg day, push day), and two days of just cardio. It feels so nice both mentally and physically to be taking care of myself like this again. I even bought some new workout shorts and gym clothes and I’m feeling better than ever! I’m focusing on improving my mental health right now and working out is doing wonders for me!

I’m working so much right now, but it’s worth it because I need the money for rent, tattoos, gym stuff, groceries, and whatever other necessities and wants pop up. I’m pulling doubles most Saturdays and it’s a little tiresome and energy draining but I’m managing pretty well. I won’t pull doubles every Saturday tho because that drives me straight into burnout and I’m trying to avoid that.

I hit 31 days on Duolingo and I’m at 28 days on Busuu, super proud of myself for keeping up with those two goals for now! I’m still working through the first two lessons of Genki and I’m still using the Kanji app but my studying has been a little bit more spread out because of my busy schedule. I’m trying to learn how to better balance multiple things without hyperfixating on just one and forgetting about everything else. I’ve noticed I tend to do that and that’s not the most productive thing for me.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I spent a lot of money on stuff from Amazon (and Ulta) and most of it is here already besides the last couple Amazon items coming in today! I love the workout clothes I bought and the fitness/health tracker planner I bought is really interesting. I also got my language tracking bullet journal stuff in the mail so I am super looking forward to starting that up soon. Again, I noticed I tend to hyperfixate on one thing at a time but right now I’m trying to balance all my interests and things I need to do. My current “balance breakup” is: fitness/nutrition, Japanese language study, school/classes and academic success, work/making money, self care (sleep, skincare, reading, journaling, etc), boyfriend time, appointments, and chores/cleaning/housework. Sounds like a lot but there’s 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. Not everything has to be done in one day and as long as I manage my time efficiently, then I’ll be successful. I also try to take into account my energy levels, daily tasks, possible “curveballs”, and my current physical and mental/emotional well being. Flexibility is a must in my life but I do like having routines and things to stick to, plan and schedule wise.

I’ve been working on some posts ideas for this blog so it’s not just daily updates and stuff, but actual tips, advice, and my current routines and schedules too, to maybe help motivate and inspire you guys! I have some things in mind currently, so hopefully I can find the time to type them up and post them!

Thank you guys for 850+ followers! I never thought my blog could grow like this and I’m super happy it has! This community has given me such a safe and comforting place where I can just be myself without worry. I appreciate all of you so much!! I hope all of you have amazing days, amazing sleep, amazing skin, amazing grades, and that life is going great for all of you!

that’s pretty much all I have to update you on for now. I will be posting a Daily Check In tonight about how today went as well, to help me get back on track with posting!

til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

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agerefandom · 24 days

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Hey y'all!!! Been a while.... I'm going to make some content for this blog over the next couple weeks again! I might switch my bio to 'semi-hiatus,' because I don't think I'll catch up on requests, but I'll keep you all posted. I've got a couple of ideas for things to do!

I watched the new Hazbin series and finally watched Helluva Boss, so I'm going to do some content for those fandoms, but I'll probably do some old faithful content for Skulduggery and Homestuck and other favourites!

I was trying to put my finger on why I've been on so many hiatuses from this blog recently, and I do think I figured it out. I'll put it under a read more just for general themes of adulting and hardship for those who are interested in the personal details.

My partner's been very impacted by disability things lately and has been about 50% bedridden but 99% housebound. We've moved in with parents because we can't do rent on one income, and I've generally been in a bit of a caretaking role with all the chores falling on me, as well as help with planning, appointments, shopping, applications, etc.

It's just left me with not much energy left for regression dynamics: I'm personally only comfortable regressing when I'm alone in the house, and all of my caretaking energy is going to my partner instead of my earlier efforts to find a regressor to care for.

I'm still doing lots of creative things, I've mostly been focusing on my selfship blog but I'm also doing a top 100 ships series on another blog, and having fun with that! But that's why agere content specifically has been hard for me for the last year or two. I'll come back to it properly eventually, and I really do want to make more things on this blog, but that's my little life update on where I'm at.

On the plus side I'm working a lovely little office job at the moment and possibly getting into management for a pay raise! So things are going pretty well, I just need to get out of the house more lol, I forget to take care of myself sometimes.

#hark i say nothing #blog update #help the last time i came back i wasn't even around long enough to catch up with all the 'welcome back' messages #i'm so sorry everyone lol #it's been a heck of a time

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eoieopda · 11 months

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okay i have another head canon 🫣🫣 feed into my delusions jade i fucking dare you. all right, how about travelling with them for the first time since you started dating? i wonder what that would be like 👀👀

namjoon is praying you don’t break up with him at your terminal because he forgot his passport at home. he’d understand if you did, tbh. he’s disappointed (but not surprised) at himself. when you just laugh (because it’s as funny as it is infuriating, okay??) he’s over the moon. he’s taking you to a bunch of significant cultural and historical sites, museums, etc., and he’s gonna tell you everything that giant sponge brain has absorbed. he’s def reading some almanac or similar shit on the plane to study up.

seokjin doesn’t have a plan/itinerary, but he does have a massive list of all the restaurants he wants to hit, wineries/breweries/distilleries you might come across, etc. and he actually does a good job of keeping you calm with all the travel stress by being a giant fuckin goofball. this is the one situation where he’s not yelling, whining, etc. when he gets frustrated because he prioritizes your well-being 💕

yoongi has his shit right together, but in a very low key way. he doesn’t announce any of it, but he’s in full airport dad mode. he knows exactly when your flight is and how early you need to be there; he’s done the pre-boarding whatever the fuck. he somehow has any toiletry item you didn’t even think to bring. i guarantee he has tampons and tummy meds and shit, just in case. thoughtful bastard 😭 but don’t you dare comment on any of this or make it a big deal that he’s so prepared because he will blush to death.

hoseok is free as a fucking bird. he’s following the wind, babeeeeey. he is allergic to planning, doesn’t want to have a destination in mind. he’ll flip a coin to see where you’re flying. where are you staying? you’ll figure it out when you get tired. energy out the wazoo, too. no time for naps — you’ve got shit to do, people to meet, places to be!!

jimin strikes me as the anxious traveler type, so i bet he’s checking and re-checking all your reservations, making sure your backup plans have backup plans, etc., because he needs whatever you’re doing to go well and be 👏🏻 special 👏🏻. you must hold his hand at all times so you don’t get separated, and because he needs an anchor. he will most certainly, accidentally get wine drunk in the airport bar due to stress, lmao.

taehyung is — where is taehyung? you take your eyes of this guy for a second, and he’s 🏃🏻‍♂️ off doing taetae shit. you’ll have to follow a breadcrumb trail (it’s probably the shoes he kicked off, a dropped ascot, etc.) to find him. an unintentional scavenger hunt. when you do locate him, he’s staring wide-eyes at something scenic, speaking so poetically about how beautiful life is — and ya know what? he’s right. you saw the whole damn city while you were trying to find him, and you wouldn’t have, otherwise!! for real, you gotta get one of those backpack leashes like a lil kid at the zoo, otherwise…. hope you brought supportive footwear. your ass is getting those steps in 😵‍💫

jungkook is relying on you completely. he doesn’t know what’s going on, where he is, what he needs to get done, etc., so you’re gonna have to do allllll of the logistical work. HOWEVER, he makes it feel like it’s not a chore. it’s sooo fun because this boy is full of wonder, and so fucking eager. dude is down for whatever, just point the way.

#lati!#moots #jade speaks #bts #bts headcanons

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healinghamster · 2 years

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adhd do it tomorrow way

have you ever felt like everything is buzzing around you and nothing makes sense? you are overwhelmed and tired and don't know what to do? i made a little self-plan for cases like this that might help other nd folks!

take a deep breath. i am the most sceptical person about breathing excercises on the earth (AND they are boring?) but sometimes it does help. try using an app that uses vibration to guide you - it gives additional sensory stimuli and makes it less boring

is it morning or evening? if it is morning, then proceed to the next step. if it is evening, ask yourself: is it really important right now? or can you just go to sleep and figure it out later? if important, also proceed to the next step

jot down every thought the fastest way you can. hand-written, typed, voice recorded even - doesn't matter! get these thoughts out of your system first

now it is kind of like an affinity diagram - see where the thoughts overlap and put them into groups (they can be random and don't have to make sense to other people! for example you can have a "stuff i want to start but cant" or "bzzzz thoughts")

usually those groups fall into one of these categories - mental health and feelings, school and/or work, chores and errands, events (at least, that's how it is for me! you can have your own big categories)

now put aside school/work and chores/errands thoughts. is there anything in mental health area that feels uncomfortable? are you tired? sleepy? do you need to talk to someone or hug a pet? i usually deal with my emotional needs first no matter how urgent the work is

is there anything that must be done right this instance/in the next 3 hours in all of the categories? if no, take a rest. if possible, a full rest with nothing at all.

if there are things to be done do only the most urgent and crucial ones, but remember that your wellbeing always comes first!

if you have spoons and brain energy, try to spread the events, chores and school/work throughout the week. like cleaning on monday, history assignment on wednesday etc

alternatively, just make a big list with the categories divided. do one thing from the list a day and say "i'll do the rest tomorrow" (do one thing tomorrow). if you feel like it - you can do more! if you don't have energy or time - don't stress about it. do it tomorrow (unless it is super urgent which i struggle with still and don't have answers yet)

repeat until you feel less overwhelemed and can use your usual coping and planning tecnhiques ps. i am not sure if this is accessible because of the colors; i tried to make an adhd easy-to-read version but i don't know others' needs that well so please tell me if it needs warnings or a plain formatting post! ps2. i am working on adhd-friendly planner printables (which will be free) and i am implementing this method there. if you find it helpful, look out for those!

#hamposi #actually adhd #adhd things #adhd tips #executive dysfunction #neurodivergent #tips #positivity blog #adhd #brain fog

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pineappleciders · 1 year

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THIS MIGHT BE A ??? QUESTIONABLE REQUEST??? but can i pls have the main omori group + kim w/ a s/o with adhd?

I THINK IT WOULD BE REALLY AWESOME...EEE

RW OMORI gang + KIM w/ an S/O who has ADHD

includes: SUNNY, AUBREY, KEL, HERO, BASIL, MARI, and KIM

A/N: dw this isn't a weird req :D i don't have ADHD so this is based off of research and my dad who has extreme ADHD!!! like it takes me saying his name 10 times for him to respond!! love him tho

SUNNY

sunny is 100% autistic,, and i can also see him having ADHD

so he often gets distracted during conversation, or rather he isn't really. down to earth. so a lot of the time you two can just sit in silence comfortably

sometimes u two just. are both getting wacky about your hyperfixations and you'll just rant back and forth about them to each other. like ur communicating

it probably happened more when he was younger but every now and then he gets random bursts of energy, and he has the urge to exercise (he gets really tired afterwards)

he'll just kinda let you do your thing if you get really hyper, and might go on a walk with you to get it all out!! he is not running though

i can't decide if he's really messy or really organized, probably a mix of both. like his locker is all goofy and messy but he'll organize yours to perfection

taps your shoulder and stares at you if you forgot something until you remember it.

"what is it?"

"..." he deadpans at you until it clicks that the quiz is today

AUBREY

if you're kinda hyper and chatty she might get a tad frustrated sometimes, but it very quickly melts away. she can't help but giggle and smile at some of your antics

if you have a lot of pent-up energy to spend, she'll hand you her bat and take you to the trash yard to destroy stuff! that's how she gets her emotions out

at first she might like. snap her fingers in your face if you get distracted. "hey, are you listening to me?"

but eventually she gets used to it, and might tap your shoulder to remind you to listen. she doesn't mind all that much

she reluctantly gives you homework/test answers if you forgot to do it or just can't figure it out. like she'll sigh and roll her eyes all dramatic but then do the entire work sheet for you. (she tries to teach you it but gives up)

texts you a lot to remind you to do things you need to do. (ex: homework, brushing your teeth, drinking water, etc.) it's her subtle way of showing her love!

KEL

i can see him having ADHD. like how he had trouble in school, and was kinda described as 'the dumb one' that gets distracted easily. i feel like it's less severe now, probably due to the fact that he was a child back then

it doesn't happen as often anymore, but sometimes he starts bouncing his leg and fiddling with his fingers during conversation, and totally spacing out

he doesn't get frustrated with you if you aren't listening or anything, just probably repeats your name until you respond

he doesn't judge you at all!!!!

"pssh, i get bad grades all the time, and i'm doing fine!"

you two draw little doodles and hearts on each others papers during school and he gets really giggly when you pass him a note with something funny on it

if you stim, he'll subconsciously repeat it. and then he starts stimming it too. he can't help it

HERO

he is very patient. he'll pat your back with an awkward smile on his face when you don't respond to him. "you okay there?"

i can see him being autistic and masking super hard all of the time. so when you two get home after a long day you just relax and watch your favorite show, or cook something together

he buys you little fidget toys and things to mess around with, and buys you stuff like paint supplies and a crochet kit to get into a hobby

helps you out with homework and chores. like he'll do all of your housework and speed through algebra like it's nothing and still cooks dinner. absolute madman

encourages you to go on runs with him in the morning, especially if you need to get energy out

leaves fancy little sticky notes on your mirror and fridge to remind you of things. and he draws hearts on them and shit

BASIL

hmmm.. i can see him having ADHD but i can also see him not. either way i think he spends a lot of time in his head so he might get distracted often during conversation.

he's an amazing listener, and tries to understand you as best as possible! he just gets a little lost in his anxious thoughts

he has fidget toys and you two share them like you're fighting over custody of your children

nervously waves his hand in front of your face when you take too long to respond.

"uh, Y/N? ... hellooo?"

he's very patient, but he gets a little worried about what you might be thinking about

helps you with homework. like he actually teaches the subject to you and everything

kinda like "okay okay calm down <:D" if you're getting wound up, and you two sit outside in the sun for a bit to calm down.

he got you a sketchbook to let you scribble and vent everything out on, and sometimes you leave him little notes and he does the same

MARI

probably giggles and waves her hand in your face if you space out

she's a total perfectionist, and it helps her focus less on her own problems by helping you out, so she'll help you with homework and other things a lot!!

i think she'd carry around like. fidget toys or a sketchbook for sunny as he needs them so she probably does the same for you, or just gives you sunny's if he grows out of them!!!

puts her hands on her hips and gives a teasingly stern look if you get distracted while she's talking. she isn't upset or anything, she just wants to tease you!!

when you have picnics together, she'll just sit there with her hands on her lap while you like idfk chase a butterfly or run around or something. eventually she calls you back to eat (okay mom)

mari definitely gets a little lost in her thoughts sometimes. like she'll rub her chin like 🤔 when thinking about what to eat

is very patient with you, and is constantly there if you need any sort of reassurance or assistance. 10/10 gf

KIM

sighs and crosses her arms all pissy whenever you space out while she's talking to you

"hey! get your head out of the clouds, knuckle-head!" (affectionate)

she acts all reluctant about it but she totally thinks it's kinda cute. she'll snap her fingers and push up her glasses all nerdy like and then whack you over the head

i can see her getting distracted easily. like when someones talking she'll start like picking at a bush or chewing her fingernails while totally lost

she probably has average grades, probably tries a little less in school just to appear cool. she's super smart though. maybe a little too smart (she's a smartass)

scoffs to prevent herself from laughing when you blurt something or act silly

helps you out with homework and like. flicks ur nose whenever you get a question wrong.

"you seriously don't know your multiplication tables? jesus christ.." she says as she pinches the bridge of her nose

despite how fed-up she seems a lot of the time, she really likes you and thinks it's cute. she'd just rather die than admit that. she also loves hugs so she might just give you a quick hug and then ignore you out of embarrassment

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saltymongoose · 1 year

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Hey its stitches anon...idk if your requests are open, hell I'd gladly commission you at this point. But I was wondering if you could write a small fiction about the main 4 and their lover/partner (trans man he/they) that just recently got fired from their job because they are disabled? And who is now in pain and is super sad? That just happend ot me today (2 days till my birthday too) I have HEDS, pots, and mast cell to name a few. I can't write to save my life either. And I just want my bois comforting me while trying to find a new job. Sorry you can completely ignore this

Love all of your work and u would gladly commission you with what money I have for fics too ❤️ reminders to drink water everyone

Hey Stitches Anon <3, I'm really sorry to hear about your job, that's an absolutely awful thing for them to do. :( You've probably found another place to work by now, and while I don't know very much about legality, I'd keep an eye on labor laws regarding disability where you live. (Where I'm from, firing anyone for stuff directly related to their disability is extremely illegal.) However, while I can't give much advice on this since Idk legal stuff like this that well, I can write about the boys comforting you, so I whipped these up for ya. Good luck in your professional career, my friend! :) 💕❤️💖💗(P.S. And Happy New Year!!! 🎉✨🎊)

[Part 1] They Comfort Their Disabled!Transmasc!Partner During a Jobsearch ft. The Main 3 + 2BDamned

(TW: Mentions of Violence, Brief mentions of disability-based discrimination, extreme fluff.) *A.N: I wasn't too sure about how much detail to go into with PoTS/hEDS/Mast Cell, so please lmk if I portrayed anything in this incorrectly and I'll rework it pronto. Thank you! <3

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Rage and worry are the two words that best encapsulate what Hank feels once you tell him that you've gotten fired and why. Your disability didn’t prevent you from getting hired in the first place, so there’s no logical reason why it should cause your boss to fire you either. It doesn’t make any sense to him, and the fact that this whole situation is happening to you really pisses him off.

(You've seen Hank angry before, but it was never like this. He's almost shaking with rage, his hands spasming against you as he rasps out the harsh question of who was responsible for your tears and the sobs that left you. Yet you don't give their name, instead opting to press your face deeper into his collar. He goes still when you sniffle and whimper, his tense form relaxing as he presses even closer to you, pulling you tighter to him and enveloping you in his form. He'll drop the issue for now; those bastards who fired you can wait. Your well-being was always been one of his first priorities anyway.)

In typical Hank fashion, the first solution he suggests is outright murdering who fired you to get your previous job back, which makes no sense to you. (It's not like your company would be eager to hire someone whose boyfriend killed their ex-coworker). The proposition does get a small laugh out of you though, so he still considers it an achievement.

Instead of going out to commit a massacre in your name, he decides to divert all of his energy toward taking care of you and comforting you as best he can. This means he puts off all of his "official work" for as long as possible; he can tell how distraught losing this job made you, so he considers helping you to be his new mission. There’s no one that Hank ever has ever cared for more than you; you're the most special person in his life, so it’s only natural for him to put all of his focus on his role as your partner when you need the support.

Despite being wholly indifferent to the plights of Nevada's denizens, you are the only exception to his apathy, and he’ll be all over you trying to help you out during this time. He’s not the most domestic person, so he can’t take care of much on his own, but he’ll do his best to complete your normal household chores nonetheless; cleaning, taking out the trash, etc. He even cooks on rare occasions, if he thinks you shouldn't be doing it (usually because you're either too tired or in pain). You'll have to instruct him on what to do for some of these (especially cooking, he's not really experienced with that), but he'll complete every task dutifully. Hank is very good at following orders, after all.

(He straightens up when you take a bite of the food he made, his hands twitching as you give him a pleased, albeit tired smile. "It's very good," you say in response to the question you know he's aching to ask. Your eyes meet the red lenses of his goggles, and your grin widens. "Thanks, babe. You did well." He made your favorite, and although it doesn't taste exactly like how you make it, you think you prefer this version.)

Yet this is more of an afterthought compared to his main preoccupation: being by your side for as long as you'll have him, in the most literal fashion. He's almost attached to your hip the entire time, molded to your side and purring as he tugs you closer to him.

He prefers to show most of his affection through touch; hugging you softly, pressing what remains of his lips to your cheeks and forehead (and a few stray pecks on your mouth, of course), and keeping a stray hand on yours whenever you're busy looking through job listings on your tablet. He's soft and careful, always having a close eye on you for any signs of pain when he shifts closer to you, and silently noting every bruise or mark you might have in an effort to avoid irritating them. Whenever you make a noise of pain, or even if you show the smallest sign of strain, he immediately freezes, tilting his head at you in obvious worry and attempting to bring your attention to him so he can ask if you need anything.

Despite how often he gets injured, Hank doesn't know close to anything about the medical field, so he'll insist that you speak to Doc about any pain and discomfort you have due to your disabilities (who recommends you to Skinner, since he's also not a doctor either). That being said, Hank will do his best to help with alleviating anything you're going through at the same time, whether it be by fetching you your medications at a scheduled time, carrying you if you're in too much pain/too tired to walk around (or adversely, helping you exercise if you want to), or just cuddling with you if you'd prefer that. (He's constantly on the verge of being in your personal bubble anyway, so may as well.)

If anything, you'll have to tell him to stop hovering over you at times, since he's just that clingy. It's sweet that he's so concerned, but while you recognize that he's trying to show you his love the best way he can, it can be a bit smothering at times. (Like when you're trying to read out available positions and he sees fit to carefully drape himself over your back, purring like a large cat. It's nice, until he ends up obscuring the view of what you're doing.)

He'll cooperate of course, since he respects your boundaries as any partner should, but he will put in an effort to be more verbal after this to make up for it. His voice is very rough from disuse, and his wording can be a bit clunky when he compliments you, but the blunt praise you get from him still makes you blush. It's probably because you know for a fact that everything he says is what he honestly believes, which just makes it a hundred times more meaningful.

(Your face burned with each subsequent word about how proud of you he was, and the short declarations he gave of how much he admired you and your strength. Hearing such words from someone as powerful as him made them very impactful, although this also just made you more bashful to receive them.

"Thank you…you didn't have to say anything like that, hun. It’s very sweet of you," you said before laughing a bit awkwardly. Perhaps it was in your nature to try to skirt around compliments, or at least those that were so direct and blunt, but that would never work with Hank. He never wasted his breath on lies or things he didn’t feel important to put out there, it just isn’t how he works. He states things like they’re facts because they are. He’s proud of you, you’re strong, you’re handsome, etc. He could go on. And he will.

He looked at you for a moment before shrugging. “...Doesn’t matter if I need to say it. It’s still true.” In Hank's view, if he has to strain his voice just to show you the level of affection you rightfully deserve, that’s more than alright. He speaks only when necessary, and bringing your mood up at a time like this makes it so. Besides, he’d much rather use his words to compliment you than for anything else, really.)

However, when it comes to actually helping you get another job, he isn’t can't do all that much. It’s not his fault; Hank hasn’t had a “normal” job in a very long time, so his ideas on how to find one are very out of date. Nevada’s not exactly in the same state it was when he was employed in a traditional setting, and the rubble that makes up most of the cities still around wouldn’t be very useful for real estate. (Which is the only thing he has concrete experience in. Besides homicide.)

The most he can do is keep an eye out for any “help wanted” signs and writing down the locations of the places he finds them. He’ll also ask Deimos, Sanford, and Doc to look into potential job openings. (Well, demand they do. Luckily some explanation by Doc about how Hank's boyfriend was fired was enough to remedy any protest. It's weirdly nice of the merc to be so concerned about someone else. Barring the surprise of him even having a boyfriend to begin with, since he'd never said a word about you to them before.)

2BDamned is also surprisingly okay with just letting his main agent take some time off to help his significant other while they look for a job. However, Doc realizes better than anyone that if he attempted to keep Hank from you in a time like this, he'd just leave anyway (and violently), so there's little point in even trying. He's the most clued in out of everyone about Hank's personal life and has enough sense to know about your importance to him. (Why else would Hank be asking about "date ideas" and engagement rings, of all things?)

He wonders sometimes if you realize just how much you've got the tall grunt wrapped around your finger. Though, judging by how Doc can hear you brighten up and playfully admonish Hank when he accidentally interrupts your calls with him (and the fact that he can hear the man purring loudly over the phone after you call him a pet name), you must have a pretty good idea by now.

- [2BDAMNED] -

2BDamned likely didn’t approve of you working at your previous job to begin with, as it was too far from the Status Quo’s base of operations for him to keep an eye on you at all times (and being with him did put a considerable target on your back, no matter how secret you tried to keep your relationship). However, he was wholly displeased when you tearfully revealed to him that you’d been fired for something you had absolutely no control over.

Both the sheer audacity and the stupidity of the company you worked for are incredibly surprising to him. He'll make a quick note to find out where your previous workplace is located; he won't do anything to ruin them, as much as he has the power to, but if some of his agents in the location accidentally do anything to hurt their business, he's not going to offer anything close to assistance. (Although the agents might get a soft reprimand - it's hard to be mad at them for this, even if he really should be.) It's petty, but also far more than he knows they have a right to.

However, in the meantime, he'll focus on comforting you while you find another job, seeing as interfering with your previous workplace is beneath his consideration. (Unless you ask him to, of course. He's always frowned upon people who couldn't separate their work from their personal lives, but he could handle the hypocrisy if using his resources for this made you happy. After seeing how they made you cry, he thinks it would be at least somewhat deserved.)

Doc's a busy man, but he'll always have time for you. Luckily for him, he's not exactly needed at any bases, and his work has him moving around quite a bit as is, so staying at your place to help you won't cause any issues. It’s not like anyone would notice his absence. Although, he'd be willing to forgo his current assignments regardless; you're more important, to put it simply.

He's well versed in your medical conditions already, due to hours of research and speaking with both you and Skinner, no doubt. Even before you were fired, he'd have been there to help you should you need it (even if a phone call away), and there's no reason why this would change after the fact. He's always been reliable, and just like back then, he'll be there to give you exactly what you need to keep yourself comfortable. This also includes himself, if you so ask.

You'll often find yourself with your head resting in his lap, feeling his eyes rake over you once in a while to look for any signs of pain and discomfort. (To anyone else, it would feel cold or clinical, but something about Doc's gaze always warms when it's placed on you.) His voice loses its harsh edge when he reads your listings, occasionally nudging you against contacting them for an interview if the company in question gives pay that's too low or lacks the benefits he knows you deserve.

("That last one sounds alright," you muttered, and he paused from reading his tablet to give you a look of slight disapproval. You raised a brow as if to ask what the problem was and he sighed.

"Honey, they don't have dental or offer basic health insurance - and the salary is half of what you should be making," he responded pointedly, to which you laughed. This was Nevada, it's not like that was common anyway, and most businesses couldn’t afford very good pay rates at that. Yet the fact that your boyfriend was so concerned about where you'd end up working was so funny to you for some reason. The leader of one of Nevada’s greatest forces fretting about your hourly wages. Perhaps it was because it was so weirdly domestic; you didn’t get a lot of time with him considering his work schedule, so to have him drop everything just to do something so normal was actually surprising to you. It seems you underestimated just how much you meant to him. Which you know he’d chide you for if he could read your mind. Of course he would do that, he loves you.)

(You didn’t notice how he stopped reading yet again, gazing at you warmly as you drifted off in thought. For a moment he wondered if it would be better to have you work for him, where he could keep an eye on you and give you the opportunities you’d already worked for. However, he knew he couldn’t stomach you being in danger because of it, and decided against doing so. Though he’s still going to vet who you’re looking to work for, that’s a given.)

Doc’s actually rather quick to begin assisting you with lining up interviews; he’s the type of person who tries to get rid of the emotional weight of problems by solving them as soon as he can, and so he tries to do the same here. However, he’s not tone-deaf; he’s not going to immediately push it on you if you’re in need of comfort after just being fired.

There are very few people that 2BDamned can say he genuinely cares about, and you're the most important of those individuals by far. This shows in how he softens his voice around you, the sweet pet names that are reserved only for you, and the tender way he kisses you whenever he removes his mask. His gestures only increase here, when he knows you need his comfort more than ever.

He's never been the most physical in how he shows his affection (it's something he's had to ease himself in to with your relationship), but that gets thrown out the window for the most part. While he won't be cuddling you whenever you're together, you can expect to be seated in his lap with one of his arms thrown around your waist to keep you close while you both go through your work (you looking for some and him reading reports). He treats it like a casual thing, and he's found that having you near him like this brings him more peace of mind.

(The slight smile he can see tug at the corners of your lips when you feel the warmth of his form against yours is the main benefit though. Although the weariness in your eyes from what happened still hasn't faded away, you're certainly feeling better than before. Your gaze flickers upward to meet his, and he feels a purr building up when you give him a look of unbridled affection.)

While Doc is aware that he can't remove your pain or completely prevent all of your disabilities' more disruptive symptoms from happening, his main goal is to make sure you aren't having to deal with them as often as possible. If there's anything he can do, from finding special types of medication that help you the most (which is likely in short supply due to how Nevada is) to setting up schedules so you avoid getting exhausted, he’ll get it done immediately and without question. It’s his goal to make it so you’ll never feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask for his help with anything (medical-related or otherwise), and you don’t.

Furthermore, Doc’s not a medical specialist per se, but he also took some ��classes” from Skinner on how to treat the more major symptoms you might experience. Case in point, those unfortunate times you dislocated some of your joints, and he resets them for you, or when he eases you into a better position to recover if you happen to faint from your blood pressure dropping too quickly.

(He’s been arms deep in people’s intestines and gore before to put them back together, and done so with relative nonchalance, but seeing you in pain makes him almost queasy by comparison. The point that brings him back to focus is his central goal; minimizing your pain and discomfort, which means taking care of your state swiftly.)

2BDamned is someone who respects your independence. You're capable of taking care of yourself, as you usually do when he's not there. However, in a situation like this one, where you need him, he'll always be there. You're Doc's partner (soon fiance, perhaps), and he's yours; he'll always be there for you to lean on, just like you've been there to comfort him and bring him out of his shell.

It doesn't matter what you're going through, or how things on the outside are. If Nevada as you both knew it was going to end without him, he might just let it, as long as you'd be safe and well. If this means letting go of his usually-busy schedule to take care of the one he loves when they lose their job (and for their disabilities, which he'll still remain angry at no matter how much time passes), then it's something he'll go along with happily. In 2BDamned's eyes, you deserve far more than he can give you, so the only logical thing he can do is give you all that he is with the hopes that it's enough. This is just an incredibly small instance of him showing this immense love he has for you (one that's returned tenfold).

He hopes to make you as happy as you make him, and if the warm, affectionate looks you share, with soft smiles and hands intertwined, mean anything, then he does. And that is enough for him.

#tw: discrimination #i am incandescent with rage at your former employer 😀#Part 2 will be coming out tomorrow with San and Dei :)#transmasc reader #male reader #hank j. wimbleton x reader #hank j. wimbleton #2bdamned x reader #2bdamned #madness combat x reader #madcom x reader #my writing

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larkthorne · 10 months

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[Image ID: the cover of a book: Laundry Love: Finding Joy In A Common Chore by Patric Richardson with Karin B. Miller. The title is in rainbow letters on a yellow background with a stylized drawing of a front load washing machine with a heart on the door in the middle of the cover. /End ID]

Hello to all of you with laundry on chairs, etc, whose executives also fail to function, hope you're well, etc.

Just want to recommend this book to anyone who dislikes laundry or can't keep on top of it! I listened to the audiobook a couple months ago and it has changed the way I do laundry. Here's a TL;DR summary but if you can get this book from your library or whatever it's a charming, easy, quick read.

The basic gist of this life-changing laundry method is, you look at your week. You pick a day that works. That's laundry day babey. Six days a week, don't worry about it. On laundry day, do something. (Caveat: my laundry day is nominally Wednesday but well. It does shift around! For my two person household, as long as I don't go longer than 10 days between Laundry Day we're fine. Your mileage may vary.) Laundry!

Laundry Day, per the method in Laundry Love, is a celebration. One puts on a fun playlist. One watches a trashy romcom while folding. One has a disco ball in one's laundry room, etc. Laundry Day is for enacting care on the things that go on your body everyday.

(I've not quite got that far, but I do try to make it pleasant. I like an audiobook or a podcast.)

The method has you split your clothes into lights, darks, warm colors, and cool colors. I don't think this is like, totally necessary - I like to do it, but if it was a very low spoons day, just sort of making two to four mid-size piles regardless of color would be fine. It is handy to have more smaller piles rather than one or two big ones, in my experience - more on that later.

Before you wash each load, ideally you pretreat stains (the book goes into detail, i mostly just scrub soap onto stains with a toothbrush which mostly works).

(There are also ways you can process silky fabric and wool fabric to allow it to go in the machine instead of dry cleaning or just chucking it in and hoping for the best! Basically: laundry net bags. Silky things in them. Roll up wool sweaters or w/e tightly, then put in the net bag, and pin down the excess. But also, if you don't have silky or wool things, like. Don't worry about it.)

Each load of laundry is washed on warm, on the quick cycle, with extra/high spin. Use like. A tablespoon of eco-friendly clothing detergent. I use a tablespoon of washing soda in the detergent drawer of my front loader and 2 tablespoons of castile soap in the drum of the washer, because Nancy Birtwhistle from Great British Bake-Off told me to, and it's very cheap per load and very effective. But it is better to use eco friendly stuff where you can because it leads to less irritants and pollutants and, this is key, less buildup on your clothes. And use less -- a tablespoon is plenty.

The short cycle on warm is enough to get your clothes clean! Without letting them get too beat up for longer than they need. The extra spin gets them dryer so they take less time to dry.

It is ideal to dry things by hanging them on a line or whatever! That's the platonic ideal of laundry. Clothes last longer and smell nice if you dry them outside. But I've had a Month Or Two and I've been using the dryer. It does wear your clothes out faster and uses up not-strictly-necessary energy but you gotta make it out of the laundry chair cycle somehow so do what you gotta do.

The good thing about the three or four small-to-mid piles of laundry is, as they come out of the dryer, you can fold it and put it away promptly, and it can feel far less overwhelming than looking at Mount Laundry.

Rotate through the piles you made earlier - quick cycle in the wash, dry them somehow, put them away. Only one day a week! The book suggests this takes 3-4 hours. I get tired if I try to do it all at once so I tend to let it take all day, taking breaks as necessary, but it's like, my only chore to do that day. (I still sometimes leave the last load of laundry in the dryer...)

The book offers tips for if you use a laundromat too! I don't, so can't speak to that. I think, though, having the same mindset: one day a week (ish) everything gets done. Some weeks that's aspirational, but there's always another go.

But, crucially: if it's not Laundry Day, simply do not worry about laundry. Put it in a hamper and that's that.

It's not perfect and it won't work for everyone I'm sure, but I learned a lot from the book (despite having a background in costuming and being a hobby sewist - I know about taking care of fabric! And I learned a lot). I really enjoy assigning a day to be For Laundry, and just allowing it to fall off the radar the other days. I always know another Laundry Day is coming.

Anyway! That's me done being bossy on the internet today. Happy laundry!

#laundry #book recommendations #chores #executive function #im just so excited about this way of doing laundry #i always felt behind on laundry and Not Good Enough and w/e and this method has made such a huge difference #patric richardson calls himself 'the laundry evangelist' and i get why he does lmao #long post

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kirakirabluemoon · 3 months

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Happy New Year and I hope everyone has a better year ahead! 🙆🏻‍♀️💖💖💖🌻🌻🌻🍀🍀🍀

I know this Author’s notes looks long, but please don’t panic. It’s just an update, I’m still working on Belladonna. 😊👍🏻💖🙆🏻‍♀️

This is an update to let y’all know how things been going with Belladonna’s Chapter 31. It is still unfortunately incomplete, but I promise I’m trying! 🌚🙏🏻 Still ironing out some details and Chinese New Year is coming, so spring cleaning and stuff is in order. So update is probably after February. 🌚🙏🏻 I’m very sorry. 🙃😔😭🙏🏻

These three paragraphs only regards my health in slightly more detail than the previous post, (why I haven’t been able to update) so you can just skip it if you’d like. 🙆🏻‍♀️💖 As I mentioned previously, my health has been fluctuating since June 2023, I haven’t been feeling very well so my writing took a hit (on top of writer’s block). 😩🫠 The symptoms thankfully wasn’t too serious, all things considered.🤞🏻My fatigue however was the most obvious, there was also low moods, insomnia (caused by heart palpitations) and etc. However, I’ve gotten my blood tested around November and I finally know what’s going on. So at least I now know how to reduce and regulate the symptoms, I’ve seen improvements and hopefully I’ll make a full recovery soon. 🙆🏻‍♀️💖🙏🏻

But then at the end of December, I was tested positive with covid. 🌚🌚🌚🫠🫠🫠 So my fatigue worsened. At this point it’s like a triple layered stack. First from my nightly dreams, second from the issue that started in June, then now from the covid. 🫠 I have tested negative after 6 days, but my doctor did warn me that some symptoms and inflammation will probably persist for about a month after turning negative and to not do strenuous exercises, (even something simple like brisk walk). I found out sometimes just eating a meal brings me shortness of breath and my heart rate would reach 106 or so and then I gotta lie down. Feels like my heart was copying that one meme on Facebook and saying, “If you don’t stop, I will.” 😮‍💨🌚🤣 The same goes for house chores, like changing the bedsheets. So yeah. But I’m still kicking—albeit weakly—AND my low moods had thank god not plagued me lately. 💖😮‍💨🙏🏻 Bless.

I’ll be trying to get a swing back into things while minding my energy, so my health doesn’t decide to give me a sucker punch to the gut. Or a left hook, I don’t know, it’s been years and it still likes to catch me by surprise. 🌚🤷🏻‍♀️🤞🏻 Despite the annoyances, I’m still very thankful it’s nothing too serious. At this point, I’ll just let it throw a fit wherever it wants, and then let it die down whenever, while trying to get on with my life and maintaining inner peace. 🙄😑🤦🏻‍♀️🤌🏻 I’m done trying to control it to go the way I want it to, cuz it backfired, badly. 🌚

Anyways, thank you all so much and I really really appreciate the immense patience, love and support my dear readers has shown for my stories. 💖🙆🏻‍♀️🍀 I know I haven’t been updating as much as I would have liked, nor anticipated, after I graduated from school five-years-turning-six-years ago, in fact I thought I’d be able to churn out more chapters, guess I sorely underestimated the full extent of the symptoms my health could throw at me. 🙃😔

I wish everyone good health—seriously please take good care of yourself, and may all the lovely and nice things in life, be it big or small, be enjoyed, celebrated, and appear whenever you need it. 🥰🙆🏻‍♀️🌈💖🌻🍀

The very best of luck for 2024 and the upcoming Year of the Dragon! God bless everyone! Cheers! 🎆🎇🎉🎊🐉🎊🎉🎆🎇

Until next time! 😘

Ps: My inbox told me I have a new message/submission but when I click on it, there’s nothing there. 🌚🌚🌚 If someone sent me an ask, I’m sorry but Tumblr won’t let me see it. 😭🙏🏻

#belladonna

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thekoopalingsandstuffs · 4 months

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Since the OP isn't feeling well-

What do all these lovely characters do when they're having a "sick day"?

Jr: "I usually take a nice, hot bath at some point!! It's very relaxing!! Ooh, and I also eat some soup!! I love soup!!"

Lemmy: "Consume as much NyQuil as realistically possible. Ya can't be sick if you're unconscious!!!"

Larry: "I go to school anyways and make it my mission to get as many people sick as possible."

Morton: "Once I get all my morning chores done, I usually let myself take a quick ten or so minute nap, then go back to working. The cooking and cleaning isn't gonna do itself!!"

Wendy: "I treat myself!!! Get a big bowl of ice-cream, wear fuzzy pajamas and slippers, brag to all my friends that I'm skipping school—My bedroom becomes PARADISE!!!"

Iggy: "I usually lay down in bed and try to just relax. Nibbles cuddles with me and makes me feel much better!!"

Ludwig: "I try not to do much... Just sleep so I can recover. Maybe read a book or two. Whenever I stay home sick, though, Roy always insists on staying home with me and becoming my personal maid. Which is extremely unnecessary. But, I still appreciate it...... I have to be careful because being sick makes my incontinence ten times worse."

Roy: "Assuming that I'm not sick because I'm taking care of my already-sick siblings and am busy watching over them... I probably end up laying on the couch and binging TV shows. Nothing special. There's not much I can do. Nor WANT to do."

Peasley: "Whenever I've been sick in the past, my mother has personally spent every single minute until I recover, bringing me the most nutritious foods, making sure that I'm comfortable at all times, babying me, entertaining me... I like being sick! I usually end up forgetting that I feel like trash 'cuz I get treated so perfectly!"

Nabbit: "I get spoiled, too! Well, maybe not AS much... Whenever I come down with something, my pa goes out, robs every pharmacy and house in the area, steals all the meds, soups, water bottles, blankets, pillows, the whole shebang! All the crime for the rest of the day is dropped so he can focus on making sure that I am the happiest disease-ridden lady in the whole kingdom!!"

Motley: "... My mommy has to be at work and can't usually take days off, so when I'm sick, I just lay in bed by myself until I feel better."

Topper: "We have a rule in our house. Since the four of us all have different medical issues and constantly have reasons to want to get out of school, it's been decided that we can only have a total of five days off per month. That way, we don't take advantage of our issues to skip class. So it's important that you have a good reason to stay home, keep in mind that you might really need a day off later, and once you have your day off, don't waste it. That being said, I usually spend my sick days sleeping or reading. I can't be too active, because having a cold combined with asthma will make me almost constantly out of breath."

Hariet: "Sick days? Oh no, I don't do those." :3 "I have a perfect attendance record to maintain. Plus, there is NOTHING I can't bear through for seven hours. School is important!!"

Topper: *Rolls his eyes*

Hariet: "If I'm having a sick day on the weekend or whatever, though... I put all my energy into recovering. Sleep good, drink lots of fluids, eat healthy, etc."

Rango: "I usually just eat. They say to eat soup when you get sick! I eat soup, brownies, chicken nuggets, pizza, pop-tarts, cereal, noodles, cheese sticks—Really, I'll eat anything that we have!! I find that eating junk food is surprising therapeutic and good for the soul! Also, I have an EXCELLENT metabolism!!" :D

Spewart: "Most of the time, if I'm staying home, it isn't because I have a cold or something. It's 'cuz I'm having a CVS episode. In which case, I spend the whole day laying in bed, on the couch, or possibly even just on the floor, in agony. All with a bucket keeping me company. For when I throw up! Which I may do a hundred times! Or not at all, resulting in a tummy-ache that lasts the WHOLE day and won't go away. Yay me!"

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copperbadge · 2 years

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I have zero experience with Adderall but I wanted to ask if you feel any, I guess, momentum for accomplishing things even when it wears off? One of my major "tasks I can't force myself to start" is my bedtime routine (washing my face, brushing/flossing my teeth, a couple of other steps), so I don't end up falling asleep in my work clothes with my light on sometime between 8 and 10pm, but obviously I wouldn't still want the Adderall to be fully in effect at that point because, well, I need to sleep. Does the relief of having ability to accomplish things while on Adderall give you any kind of boost even when it's wearing off?

Yeah, the bedtime routine can be rough. I used to have a list of all the steps tacked up on my bathroom mirror, so a) I wouldn't forget any and b) they'd seem more manageable since I only had to do one at a time. Ironically, I found the more elaborate I made the routine the less I needed this, so for the last few years it's like a half-hour performance art piece before I crawl into bed. Bananas.

The short version of the answer is "Yes, but not how you think." Here's the longer version, with a few caveats: I have only been taking Adderall for a month, my diagnosis is inattentive-only and mild to begin with, and drug interactions can vary greatly from person to person, so this is my experience, not a universal constant.

For me, the primary impact of the medication isn't more energy; there is some increased mental clarity, but the biggest effect is that I see a task, I think "I should do that", and then instead of going "I can't, I don't feel like I can" for an hour before managing it, or forgetting to do it, I just...go ahead and do it. Sometimes I'll even see a task, go "I can't, it's so unpleasant, I don't want to" and decide not to do it, then find myself doing it anyway without consciously deciding to. Which is awesome but also quite the trip at first.

The effect wears down after about three hours and wears off completely in about five. After it wears off, I don't retain that "okay but I'll just go ahead and do it" sensibility, but I do have more energy than I would normally have at that point in the day, because I haven't spent the last five hours fighting my own brain. Two doses over the course of a full workday leaves me way more energy than I would normally have at the end of the day. So I eat a better dinner, I do more hobbies, I can read or answer email in the evenings. I can work during the day and write in the evening instead of putting off work during the day so that I can write before I get tired.

So it's not that the drug's still doing something, but that the drug basically gives me the equivalent of a free four-hour nap. On top of that, I feel better about myself overall because I did my work and my chores, so usually nothing awful is looming over my head.

Thinking on it, I was also already living in a way that was optimized for this kind of medication, so this is bonus material but may help you out too. I get up very early -- my normal rising time used to be 3, it's now edging closer to 5 -- which allows me morning time to eat an early breakfast, goof around, and do as I please until it's time to get ready for work around 8am for an 8:30 start. At that point I take my medication on an "empty stomach" (at least two hours after eating) and then go straight into the shower, after which I dress, feed the cats, and fix myself a big jug of icewater to keep at my desk. This is timed out so that right as I'm sitting down, the meds kick in and I can answer email, square away anything left over from yesterday's work, and get a jump on the day.

Because I ate breakfast so early I usually eat a snack around 10am, which means when the Adderall is wearing off around 1pm I can take another one on another "empty stomach" and then have a second snack at 2pm. That all sees me through the end of the workday and I have a handful of evening hours for chores, hobbies, etc after which I go to bed early enough (7pm-9pm generally) that I'm not entirely worn out when it's time to start the evening routine.

It's not a perfect system (evening socializing doesn't really happen, and I never really eat a full meal during daylight hours) but it works pretty well for me, and the Adderall slotted right in there very easily.

In any case if you're looking into medication, good luck! I was shocked at how well the meds work for me, and I hope they work as well for you!

#sam has adhd #one month followup with my psych today!#not actually going to send him a link to the sam has adhd tag but i bet i use a lot of material from it

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