#i just got home and im so fucking tired but watch me lurk for like six more hours

[angeliicon]

its a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake

#i just got home and im so fucking tired but watch me lurk for like six more hours #;sir this is my emotional support angelic songbird. (ooc)

[arieswritez]

Just thinking about pervy Mark rn…. Giggles

I think he should be nasty.. a lil gross,, That would be hawt

mark should allowed to be nasty & gross as a treat!!

cw; MDNI! DARK CONTENT! yan!mark grayson x gn!reader, abusive relationships, manipulation, food tampering, drugging, somnophilia, blackmail, scent kink, rape & sexual harassment, mentions of body size (weight fluctuations, implied chub!reader, mark teases reader about it)

he should be allowed to taint your food with his spit and his cum and get hard while he watches you eat it! he should be allowed to put trackers in your car or on your phone! why can't you understand he's just wants to keep you safe?! stop being so ungrateful >:[ !!!!

how do you think it'd make mark feel if something happened to you? or are you that fucking self absorbed that you don't stop to think about how your actions affect those around you? specifically him. your boyfriend who does so much for you.

what if someone got their hands on your cute little body? is that what you want? because mark obviously doesn't want anything happening to you. . but if that's what you really want: he can make that happen.

he won't like it. but if it means teaching you a lesson, he can always hire a few low lives to scare you straight. and it's not like it's hard to find them and reason with them. mark gets a favor and, in return, they don't have to worry about mark - or invincible, as they know him - lurking on their turf.

despite their reputation, they don't do anything too bad. nothing big enough to cause any permanent, physical damage. although he's sure - and hoping - your psyche will take a hit. he specifically advised they not rape you but they do enough to leave you shaking with fear once it's over.

when you come home to him, clothes torn, sobbing about being cornered and groped, he'll be there, soothing and cooing at you,

"babe~ i told you! this is what happens when you wear that while i'm not around! you have to tell me where you are at all times! it wouldn't have happened if i was there!"

mark should be allowed to make you absolutely, completely, A HUNDRED PERCENT!!!! dependent on him!!! he should be allowed to slip things into your drinks that make you drowsy and force you to stay the night. he should be allowed to set up a cute little camera in the corner of the room, facing his bed, and film himself slipping his hand into your underwear while you sleep! you wouldn't believe the sounds you make while you're passed out <3

he should be allowed to give you medication that causes your weight to fluctuate! & he's allowed to be a little mean about it, too ;( to pinch your chubby cheeks or your softening belly, grab your rolls and say, "you're lucky i love you so much ~"

he should be allowed to use your throat as leverage when he fucks you from behind!!! he should be allowed to stick his thumb/stuff his fingers into your hole while he strokes you or eats you from the back!! he should be allowed to paint your back and/or belly with sticky white cum while you're throbbing for him. he should be allowed to make excuses !!! oh, i hafta go. cecil needs me. im tired. get yourself off, you can do that, can't you?

or just a blatant, "no. you don't deserve to."

mark should be allowed to throat fuck you until your face is covered with tears and snot and he should be allowed to laugh at you and plug your nose while you choke around him!

he should be allowed to force you to your knees & tongue at his balls the second he steps into the house despite the fact that he hasn't showered the day's worth of sweat and grime off of him! you should BE GRATEFUL HIS DICK IS IN YOUR MOUTH!!!

mark is a good bf! and you shouldn't complain!! no one will love you the same way he does!!

#io ramble ramble #im in love w him #im supposed to be out #instead im writing about mark being gross #trying to get this out before i get a lick of sunlight #cause ik my serotonin will surge #and i wont be able to be sick and psycho and needy #i am so rabid over him #i want him so bad #FUCK IT I AM IN LOVE WITH MARK GRAYSON #AND YOU CAN ALL JUDGE ME IF YOU WANT #BUT I DO NOT CARE #I HAVE NEVER #EVER #BEEN HAPPIER!!!!! #mark grayson x reader #invincible x reader #mark grayson #invincible #yandere mark grayson x reader

[angelmichelangelo]

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

#this is insanity #how did this happen #glee #tw hate crime mention #tw suicide mention #tw mental health mention #this was from my drafts lmao

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 14

"Look all I'm saying is that people have been in and out of here all day. Maybe he just got in with one of the other guests" Bucky said i pulled out my bags and started throwing my clothes inside.

"Im not willing to take that chance Bucky!" I snapped "as long as I'm here I'm putting you and the girls in danger! You dont know what his capable of!" 

"You think I'm gonna let him close enough to hurt you and the girls??"

"He already got close enough! he took photo's of me in the shower!!! Christ he could've done more if he wanted to but his playing with us! Its all a game to him"

"One his not gonna win"

"His already winning dont you see that?" I cried covering my face with my hands.

"Baby i cant loose you!" Bucky said clearly panicking as he pulled me into his arms "dont let him win I'm begging you, you belong here with us"

"Your not gonna loose me Bucky" i mumbled into his chest as i wrapped my arms around him "I just think it'd be better if i go back to my place. Until Jack is caught, its safer for the girls if I'm not here"

"No!" He snapped leaning back to look at me.

"No?"

"Im not letting you go back there alone thats crazy! we'll be fine here....the girls will be fine. I'll check the house with Steve and Sam make sure his not here still.... i'll change the alarm codes.... the safest place for you and the girls is here with me"

"But...."

"No buts, your mine, he can't have you" he said pressing his lips to mine "I'll even get Steve to stay while we sort this out".

"Bucky if anything were to happen to those girls id never forgive myself"

"They will be fine babe"

"You really believe that?"

"I do. Id never put them at risk"

"Okay...."

Sleep was hard to come by that night, once i knew Bucky was asleep i carefully slipped out of bed and grabbed his sweater off the back of the chair before heading downstairs. I made a cup of coffee and went to sit on the sofa, my face turned towards my shoulder so i could inhale Bucky's calming scent off his sweater. My phone that was on the table next to my steaming mug of coffee started to vibrate.

"Unknown Number Calling" flashed on the front, i knew it was Jack.... who else would be calling me at 3am? I reached for the phone and hit the green button connecting the call.

"What?" I mumbled trying to keep the nerves i was feeling in check.

"Hey baby" he replied sounding smug as fuck, if i could guess id say he was smiling "you look tired.... you not sleeping properly?"

"What do you want Jack?" I sighed shaking my head, there was no way he could see me... all the curtains were closed so i knew he couldn't be lurking outside watching me.

"I told you already. I. Want. You."

"Too bad. You can't have me"

"Oh sweetheart you know thats not true"

"Jack your fucking delusional! There is no version of this that ends with us back together! Go find someone else, your good at that! In fact why dont you give Lucy a call? I'm sure she'd welcome your attention" i said referring to my ex best friend that he had cheated with.

"I told you i made a mistake with her. I was stupid i know that now.... but if you just give me another chance you'll see we're meant to be together"

"No! Jack i dont want anything to do with you!! if i never saw you again...that would be too soon!! please just leave me alone!"

"Never" he growled down the phone "if i can't have you no one can" he added before the line disconnected. Once i knew the call had ended i broke down, finally letting the tears fall.

"Y/N?..... sweetheart you okay?"

I looked up to see Steve standing in the doorway in black sweat pants, his hair a mess. As soon as he realised i was crying his rushed to my side gathering me in his arms and holding me tight.

"Whats wrong?"

"Jack.... hh...he just called me" i said holding onto Steve like my life depended on it.

"He what?! what did he say?"

"The same old shit his been saying, that he wants me back.....it was, it was what he said before he hung up" i looked up at Steve and took a deep breath "he said if he cant have me no one can. Steve, what if he goes after Bucky??"

"Bucky can handle himself darlin'..... im more concerned that he'll try and hurt you. If he knows you won't go back to him....."

"Oh my god......" i started to panic as i thought about Jack coming after me and that he might actually kill me...."that way no one gets me" i whispered.

"Hey, we wont let anything happen to you okay?"

"Im so tired Steve" i cried burying my face against his bare chest.

"Try and get some sleep sweetheart"

"I cant, what if his watching....."

"We checked the house, his not here"

"I know that but i can't switch off! I need to be awake incase.... i need to make sure the girls are safe"

"The girls are safe.... YOU are safe i promise" he said kissing the top of my head as his hand stroked up and down my back soothingly.

"Doll?" I heard Bucky's sleep ridden voice say as he walked into the living room "Steve?.... whats going on?"

"I came down for some water found her crying on the sofa, Jack called her" Steve told Bucky as he closed the gap between us, Steve instantly passing me into Bucky's arms.

"Take her back to bed Buck she needs to sleep"

"I cant....." i started to say with wide eyes.

"You can, i'll stay awake"

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart. Now go get some sleep"

"His right, come on" Bucky took my hand and started to lead the way back upstairs "we'll talk in the morning?" He turned to his friend with a concerned look on his face.

"Sure" Steve nodded at his best friend.

"Thank you Steve" i called over my shoulder, he was already switching on the TV to find something to watch while he kept watch for the night.

"No trouble at all sweetheart, goodnight"

"Goodnight" i smiled back.

I was laying in bed tangled in Bucky, his arms wrapped around me and our legs tangled together, my fingers gently stroking up and down his arm as my eyes wandered around the room, all sorts of things running through my mind. I felt his arms tighten around me and his face snuggle against my neck as he started to wake up.

"Morning beautiful" he said quietly pressing kisses behind my ear.

"Morning"

"Did you get any sleep?"

"Some" i nodded and shrugged a shoulder before turning to look at him. Bucky was so beautiful, i could look at him forever and never get tired of the sight. "I love you" i said trailing my fingers over his beard, a smile spread across his face instantly.

"I love you more"

"Sure you do" i rolled my eyes before giggling as he started to tickle my sides.

After finally dragging ourselves out of bed we went down for breakfast, Steve was already sat down with the girls, Rosie sitting in his lap.

"Morning" he looked up smiling as we walked in.

"Hey pal"

"Morning Stevie" i smiled before walking over to the coffee pot.

"You feeling better? Get some sleep?"

"Mmhmmm" i nodded before taking a seat next to Brooke.

"Really?"

"She got a couple of hours" Bucky added sitting across from me next to Allie.

"Good, Becca called earlier by the way, wanted to take the girls out for the day. She said you were okay with it, she asked at the party?"

"Oh yeah she did"

"I told her i'd drop them off on my way home, i need to go grab a change of clothes"

"That'd be great actually"

"Thats settled then. I was thinking, you should call Sam and report Jacks call last night.... they should have record of it"

"Yeah i thought so to" Bucky nodded taking a mouthful of his coffee.

Steve and the girls had left half hour ago and the house was eerily quiet without them around. Bucky had called Sam and told him all about the phone call i had received from Jack, Sam was going to look into it ASAP.

We had settled on the sofa to watch a movie and make the most of some alone time with no interruptions from the girls. It quickly led to a heated make out session and some good old fucking on the sofa.

"Your sofa is better for this by the way" Bucky chuckled as his naked ass squeaked on the leather making me cackle loudly.

"My sofa is definitely better for this" i agreed "We should probably get dressed before Steve comes back, i dont think he'd appreciate walking in to our naked asses on the sofa" i laughed against Bucky's chest.

"Yeah i guess so".

We reluctantly started to gather our clothes and get dressed, a cell phone ringing got our attention. We both started lifting various items of clothing looking for the phone.

"Its yours" i said handing Bucky his phone before pulling my sweater over my head.

"Barnes" he answered in his 'work voice' "your fucking kidding me..... no! Chloe that should have been done last week and filed already!" He moaned running a hand through his hair "he wont accept it until i sign it? Fuck sake!"

"Bucky if you need to go in i'll be okay" i said quietly so Chloe wouldn't hear me.

"I'll be there in 20 minutes" he snapped before hanging up the phone "I cant believe that girl sometimes! i told her to file this case a week ago! Now they need my signature...."

"Its fine Buck, Steve will be back soon anyway i wont be alone for long. I'll lock the door once you leave and set the alarm"

"You sure? You could come with me...."

"Id rather just stay here, i'll go have a bath and maybe try and get some more sleep now you've worn me out" i chuckled.

"Oh but now i wanna stay and join you!" He moaned leaning in to kiss me.

"I'll wait for you to get back for the bath then"

"I'll be quick!" he laughed jumping up getting his keys and heading out. I couldn't help but laugh at what a dork he could be at times. I watched him drive away waving through his open window then locked the door behind him once he was gone and set the alarm before heading back into the living room, i straightened up the sofa and made sure it was clean and tidying before making my way into the kitchen.

I was wiping the table over clearing up bits of cereal that the girls had spilt when my phone started ringing. I thought about ignoring it at first, i wasn't in the mood for another call from Jack! But then i thought it might be Bucky or Steve checking in so went back to the living room to get my phone.

I was a little surprised to see it was Sam calling me.

"Hey Sam, you looking for Buck cause his just had to go into work real quick"

"No, no I'm not looking for Buck, wait are you at home on your own right now?"

"Yeah, he'll be back within the hour, im fine the doors are locked and the alarm is set"

"Y/N i need you to stay calm and listen to me...... i need you to leave, just get out of that house" he said sounding panicked.

"What?.... why?" I felt my heart start to race.

"I traced that call, it came from within the house!!"

Home taglist: @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @lumar014

@bbmommy0902 @past-perfect-future-tense

@heathens-takeitsl0w @captainchrisstan

@ladymelissastark @93generation

@sebastianstansqueen @oceansxpurple

@Imjstaghoststory @rainbowkisses31

@superavengerpotterstar @cap-just-said-language

@booktease21 @ms-betsy-fangirl @wildest-dream-

@michelehansel @thummbelina @abbylizy

@sweetlittlegingy @lorabem @barnesandrogersworld @dumblani

@broco8 @xxloki81xx @keithseabrook27

@jesseswartzwelder

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #home #bucky barnes fanfiction #chris evans #steve rogers #sam wilson #reader insert

[love-killed-the-superstar]

Pinch Hitter

Written for @codesecretsanta 2020!!

Hey, @nemesisadraste!! It’s me, your secret santa!! I heard you wanted a slice of samodd so I was ofc 100000% down to clown. Hope you enjoy!!!! It’s a little group chat heavy and I apologise, but there’s some actual prose around the halfway point haha

Can also be read here on AO3!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28323549

ngl I would actually recommend reading it on ao3 because of formatting hahaha but anyway enjoy!!

Pinch Hitter

DIRECT MESSAGE: Odd Della Robbia

(11:43PM) Odd Della Robbia: SAMMMMMM

(11:45PM) Sam Suarez: yyyyea?

(11:45PM) Odd Della Robbia: XANA ATTACK. NUCLEAR SHIT. COVER FOR US PLSSSS SHOULDNT BE TOO LONG 🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀🙀

(11:46PM) Sam Suarez: sure thing sure thing go save the world n shit 👍👍

(11:46PM) Sam Suarez: was only going to stay up late rewatching good omens anyway

(11:47PM) Odd Della Robbia: hero. incredible woman. love of my life

(11:47PM) Odd Della Robbia: and say hi to you know who for meeeee 😻

(11:48PM) Sam Suarez: crowley is a fictional character odd, he cant hear you

(11:48PM) Odd Della Robbia: but he's so sexy and strong 😻😻😻

(11:48PM) Odd Della Robbia: not as sexy and strong as you, ofc ofc

(11:49PM) Sam Suarez: jesus odd go save the world already and leave me alone

(11:49PM) Odd Della Robbia: SO COLDDDD 🙀🙀🙀

(11:49PM) Odd Della Robbia: still love you tho

(11:49PM) Sam Suarez: still love you too ok NOW GO

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Jeremie Belpois

(1:24AM) Jeremie Belpois: Samantha?

(1:27AM) Sam Suarez: sup belpois

(1:27AM) Jeremie Belpois: Motion sensor went off. Pretty sure Jim is out and about. Try to buy us some time?

(1:28AM) Sam Suarez: shit alright. i'll see what i can do. b-team already know???

(1:29AM) Jeremie Belpois: They do. The four of you work something out, please? Thanks.

(1:30AM) Sam Suarez: ofc. hey btw hows odd doing??? ok???

(1:30AM) Jeremie Belpois: 80 life points and going strong, Sam.

(1:30AM) Sam Suarez: sweet 👍👍

…

GROUP CHAT: Lyoko B-Team REPRESENT

(1:31AM) Sam Suarez: what's our plan then home slices!!!!!!! 💪😤

(1:32AM) William Dunbar: Still don't know why I'm considered a b teamer but okay 😒

(1:32AM) Sam Suarez: don’t fucking complain william at least you get to be in the main group chat, 🙄🙄

(1:32AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: ^^^^^^

(1:33AM) Laura Gauthier: Try getting added, then removed, and still being on the waitlist to rejoin

(1:33AM) Sam Suarez: ouch lol

(1:33AM) Laura Gauthier: ANYWAY, we need a plan of action. Jim’s doing the rounds. Any thoughts?

(1:33AM) William Dunbar: I’ll go stuff Jeremie’s duvet 🙋♂️ Laura you go to Aelita’s, Sam come up with some sort of distraction 👉

(1:33AM) Sam Suarez: hold on WHY DO I GET STUCK WITH THE HARD JOB?? 😠😠

(1:34AM) William Dunbar: to prove yourself, young one. how else do you plan on getting into the lyoko warriors group chat?? 🤷♂️

(1:34AM) Sam Suarez: SHIT U RIGHT… 👀

(1:34AM) Sam Suarez: its my chance… to shine

(1:34AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: Why does everyone forget im fucking here?? Give me something to do????? 🙋😤🤦♀️

(1:35AM) William Dunbar: nobody forgot you sissi, shit 🙄 take odd and ulrichs room, if u think u can wrangle kiwi 🥝

(1:35AM) Sam Suarez: i would like it on the record that i did in fact forget about sissi 🙋🙋

(1:35AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: FUCK NO. THAT DOG DOES NOT RESPECT ME 😤😤😤😤😤

(1:35AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: Also RUDE..

(1:35AM) Sam Suarez: priorities babe or the fucking world ends. your call tho!!!!!! ✌️🤪

(1:36AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: ………………. F I N E 🤦♀️

…

GROUP CHAT: Lyoko B-Team REPRESENT

(1:59AM) William Dunbar: @Sam Suarez What did you tell Jim?????? He’s 100% doing head counts now you dumb fuck 🤦♂️

(1:59AM) Sam Suarez: don’t take that tone with me dickbar, he’s looking for a sick GIRL. if you stuffed the fucking duvets properly we won’t have a problem, he’ll only be peeking into rooms anyway 😠😠

(2:00AM) Laura Gauthier: And what do you suppose happens when he finds NOBODY and comes to the conclusion that you lied to him? You have to think these things through, Sam, Jeremie’s not planning on doing any return trips if he can help it.

(2:00AM) Sam Suarez: yall are jerks, YOU put me up to the task of cooking up an excuse, don’t complain that it was shit!!!! geez!!!!

(2:00AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: God you’re all useless. I can fake-cry, I took a drama workshop over summer. I’ll take the hit but you OWE ME. 😤

(2:01AM) Sam Suarez: there are no favours in this sissi, we took an oath. we are heroes of justice now and you don’t get compensation for saving the world, its superhero 101

(2:01AM) Elisabeth “Sissi” Delmas: Shut up Sam, you’re buying me dinner tomorrow. Take me somewhere nice 💅🙆😘

(2:01AM) Sam Suarez: but i don’t date girls who only save the world to reap the benefits, this simply won’t work out 😔😔

(2:01AM) William Dunbar: Take your flirting to private message, I don't want to be implicated in this sordid affair if Odd finds out

(2:01AM) Sam Suarez: ahahahahahahaahahahaha we got a funny man over here

(2:02AM) William Dunbar: Lololol

(2:02AM) Laura Gauthier: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU.

(2:02AM) Laura Gauthier: I can hear Jim coming, play it cool

(2:02AM) William Dunbar: Hahahaaha good luck 😂😂

(2:07AM) William Dunbar: You all alive……………..? 👀

(2:07AM) Sam Suarez: we sure are, listen to this

(2:07AM) Sam Suarez: sissi fake cried, told Jim she was having the worst cramps of her life and started listing off the side effects of the birth control she’s on. It was the greatest thing ive ever heard and im absolutely buying her dinner tomorrow, and yes it will be candle-lit 🍽️🍷💍

(2:07AM) William Dunbar: Holy shit. 👀 My deepest respect. 🙏 I will put in a good word with Master Belpois Himself, she deserves a seat at the grown ups table for this 🤷♂️

(2:07AM) Sam Suarez: no doubt no doubt

(2:08AM) Laura Gauthier: That was a close one. Sissi’s methods are unorthodox but hey, it worked. Next time find an excuse that doesn’t create more work for us, all right, Sam?

(2:08AM) Sam Suarez: shit you’re ungrateful as fuck. Damn . 🙄🙄

(2:08AM) Laura Gauthier: I’M JUST SAYING

(2:08AM) William Dunbar: Come on, lets not fight, I’m too tired for this shit 😴

(2:09AM) Sam Suarez: so go to bed, dumbass

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Odd Della Robbia

(2:59AM) Odd Della Robbia: guess who just got DEVIRTUALISED!!!! 😹😹🔫🔫

(3:02AM) Sam Suarez: oh no, poor baby, you were doing so well

(3:03AM) Odd Della Robbia: right????? fucking megatanks, im telling you, they suck so much 😿

(3:03AM) Sam Suarez: well, if you’re out of points now, come by my room and we can play animal crossing together

(3:04AM) Odd Della Robbia: would that i could, sam, would that i could

(3:04AM) Odd Della Robbia: but theres a fucking building contractor lurking somewhere in the factory, xana-possessed, trying to take me the fuck OUT 🙀🙀🙀

(3:04AM) Sam Suarez: just tell him you’re not interested????? Its what i told sissi earlier

(3:05AM) Odd Della Robbia: ahahahahahahahaha

(3:05AM) Odd Della Robbia: first of all, WOW WE GOT A FUNNYMAN OVER HERE

(3:05AM) Sam Suarez: lololol

(3:05AM) Odd Della Robbia: second of all, i demand to hear that story as soon as i get back. Nobody turns sissi down and gets away with it 👀

(3:06AM) Sam Suarez: well, i cant help it

(3:06AM) Sam Suarez: my heart… belongs to another… a mr odd della robbia… im in the throes… of love… 💓💓

(3:06AM) Odd Della Robbia: OH!!! SAM!!!!!!! 😻😻😻💓💓💓

(3:06AM) Odd Della Robbia: luv u. So much

(3:06AM) Sam Suarez: same same lololol

(3:07AM) Odd Della Robbia: when i get back we ca

(3:07AM) Sam Suarez: ????

(3:07AM) Sam Suarez: odd????

(3:07AM) Sam Suarez: come in, funny man????

message failed

(3:08AM) Sam Suarez: odd if you die i will be so mad

message failed

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Ulrich Stern

(3:10AM) Ulrich Stern: Hey Sam, it’s Ulrich

(3:10AM) Ulrich Stern: Einstein has another favour to ask

(3:11AM) Sam Suarez: first of all you dont have to tell me its you, the app TELLS me whos messaging me, this isnt a text

(3:11AM) Sam Suarez: second, tell me my boyfriend isn’t getting fucking murdered by a building contractor 😠😠

(3:11AM) Ulrich Stern: Huh???

(3:11AM) Ulrich Stern: Oh yeah. He’s holding his own but there’s not much time. You need to go keep watch outside Jeremie’s door while Laura transfers some files. If we get busted and she can’t complete the file transfer… well. The world does actually depend on it, so. Yeah

(3:11AM) Sam Suarez: isnt william the better option anyway?? Isnt he only like 3 doors down from you 🙄

(3:12AM) Ulrich Stern: He’s not answering. Probably asleep already, he’s a dumbass. Please, you’re our only option, Sissi isn’t answering either

(3:12AM) Sam Suarez: oh theres a GREAT story behind that but i’ll let her tell it tomorrow

(3:13AM) Sam Suarez: and fine, but seriously is odd okay?? If this dude is more than 5’5 he’ll have a problem taking him down, you know how scrawny he is

(3:13AM) Ulrich Stern: He’s tougher than you think, Sam. Trust me on that one.

(3:14AM) Ulrich Stern: (Also I am about to go save him from getting his ass beat)

(3:14AM) Sam Suarez: all right all right

(3:15AM) Sam Suarez: but hey stern, when this has all blown over, we’re having a serious talk about promoting me to the big leagues

(3:16AM) Ulrich Stern: ...Big leagues?

(3:16AM) Sam Suarez: im talking main group chat, my guy. MAIN. GROUP CHAT. 👏👏

…

DIRECT MESSAGE: Odd Della Robbia

(3:30AM) Odd Della Robbia: im coming mi amore… i beat up a fully grown man with my bare fists… pushed him down some stairs… it was amazing 😼💯

(3:31AM) Sam Suarez: please say you didnt break any bones, belpois isnt planning on reversing time right???

(3:31AM) Sam Suarez: like even if was going to kill u he was only possessed by xana

(3:32AM) Odd Della Robbia: heh i broke nothing!! Im a hero of justice after all 💪😼

(3:32AM) Odd Della Robbia: ulrich may have given him some bruises tho 😹

(3:32AM) Sam Suarez: ehh i’ll take that over this guy waking up with fucked up limbs and shit

(3:32AM) Odd Della Robbia: no doubt no doubt

(3:33AM) Odd Della Robbia: …

(3:33AM) Odd Della Robbia: anyway, night sam 💞

(3:33AM) Sam Suarez: oh, ok 🙄

(3:33AM) Sam Suarez: night, stupid. love you ❤️

…

Despite his parting message, Odd shows up anyway.

He slinks into her dorm room as it draws to 4:00AM, half-heartedly kicking off his shoes at the door and closing it with a softness that’s surprising given how exhausted he looks; almost as though it is second nature at this point to keep quiet, avoid drawing more attention. Her boyfriend is a professional, after all, when it comes to saving the world on the down-low.

Samantha watches Odd from her desk, where she is sat up browsing Twitter and waiting for the inevitable ‘we need you to do something else before the night is through’ messages from Jeremie. She’s been listening to the same Jay Som song on loop for over an hour now, and it leaks quietly from her laptop speakers, a strange extra layer of ambiance to the puzzle that is the hour before birdsong begins. A Baymax-patterned blanket is thrown around her shoulders for warmth, and there’s an empty can of energy drink within arms reach.

“Wrong room,” she says in a low voice, expecting him to jump anyway; he doesn’t. Instead he squints at her in the dim light, leaning back against the door with a weary sigh. “Didn’t think you were coming.”

“Wasn’t, but… here I am.”

He doesn’t really elaborate further than that.

“Ulrich know you came this way?”

“He stayed behind to talk things over with Jeremie. The overbike got fucked up in Lyoko and they’re gonna upgrade it or something. Jer-bear needed to know the specifics about his experience driving it so they can do some fine-tuning, I think. Y’know, so he doesn’t drift too far and plunge into the digital sea. Shit can get real bad, real fast.”

“I’ll bet. So, you triumphed over evil tonight?” she guesses, shutting her laptop lid and rising to her feet. Her blanket trails behind her as she does. “XANA can’t attempt to destroy the world for another 24 hours?”

“You know it,” he says, yawning. “And now, it’s bedtime.”

Thank fuck they don’t have classes tomorrow. She’ll happily lie in til noon with Odd, catching up on these lost hours.

Sam steps over her skateboard and some laundry she kicked aside earlier, a little embarrassed that her floor is so messy, but she knows Odd is too tired to even comprehend the state of her room right now. As it is, he’s swaying a little while standing, stifling a yawn against his hand - it’s only a matter of time til he crashes.

“All right, guess you’re here to stay. Hop in.”

“Did you know? You’re a goddess. An angel. A truly spectacular woman among women,” he mumbles.

“Flattery won’t give me back the hours of sleep I lost sending Jim on that wild goose chase earlier,” Sam muses, wiggling under her covers, still bundled up in the blanket like a crepe. She doesn’t know the full story, nor does she imagine she’ll get it until tomorrow when the group meet up for lunch - something about XANA threatening to blow up a reactor on some nearby building site, creating some devastating damage to the local area - but at this point she’s too tired to listen and Odd is too tired to explain.

Odd flops down on the bed beside her.

“Thank you for helping us out,” he sighs, too tired to even look at her. His limbs are all floppy. If she nudged him off the edge of the bed now, he’d probably just fold up like a pair of pants and stay there til morning. “What did you do, exactly?”

“Told him I heard someone crying in the bathroom and thought maybe someone was unwell,” she says with a shrug. “Jim checked the girls bathroom and did room checks, which gave me, William and Laura some time to sneak into your respective rooms and act as extra head counts. Just being under the covers was enough, I don’t think he was doing anything more than cursory peeking into rooms with a tiny flashlight. Wasn’t the most innovative red herring to give him, but it did the trick.”

“If it keeps them off our backs, the creativity isn’t worth factoring in,” Odd murmurs, tugging off his jeans and chucking them at the wall opposite. The impact scuffs the wall slightly, but Sam doesn’t care. Delmas doesn’t give them shit about damages to the room unless it makes the room completely uninhabitable anyway, which is why there’s a literal hole in her wall through to the room next door that she’s had to artfully cover with a Front Bottoms poster.

“Anyway, Sissi distracted him. I’ll let her tell the story herself, it was fucking hilarious. Then Ulrich messaged to say he needed me to keep watch while Laura sent over some files from the computer in Jeremie’s room to the supercomputer, which - I mean, in this day and age, why the fuck doesn’t he keep everything on the cloud anyway? So I was stuck doing that, because apparently, William had already fallen asleep again, the fucking lug. Can you believe that? You’d think, being your Lyoko pinch hitter and all, he’d be better at staying awake.”

“Oh, I can believe it,” Odd drawls, tugging off his shirt and balling it up, sending it to land atop his crumpled jeans with a flourish. He rubs his eyes and peers around. “Got that old shirt for me to sleep in?”

Rolling her eyes fondly, Sam reluctantly peels back the bedsheets once more and pads over to her wardrobe, pulling it open and sifting through until she finds what she’s looking for; an old Hootie & The Blowfish T-shirt, handed down to her by one of her older brothers. It always hangs right off of her, so on Odd’s scrawny frame, it’s basically an Ebenezer Scrooge nightgown.

“Here.” She tosses it over to him and he wriggles into it happily. “You might as well keep it, these days you wear it more than me.”

“If I walked around in a band shirt that hangs off me like a smock I’d never hear the end of it from Ulrich,” he says with a laugh, flopping back against the covers and sighing deeply. “He makes fun of my little chicken legs enough as it is.”

“Well, I love your little chicken legs, so he can keep his opinions to himself.”

She slides into bed beside him and he’s cold to touch; the freezing factory, coupled with walking back in the chilly night air, must have really done a number on him. He snuggles against her happily, mumbling, “Can I warm my feet on you?”

“Will you respect my wishes if I say no?” she retorts. He grins as she sends him a knowing look, before placing his feet, two tiny, stinky blocks of ice, against her shins. They both pull the covers up over their noses, staring at the ceiling in dazed silence for a few moments, before she adds, “He won’t miss you when you get back?”

“Not likely, I don’t fucking spoon him to sleep, Sam,” he snorts. “He’ll be too tired to care where the fuck I’ve snuck off to, and he can handle anything Kiwi throws his way, so it’s fine. I’m sure he’s capable of connecting the dots.”

“Fine, shithead, I’ll drop it.”

She continues to stare up at the ceiling, but she can feel his keen gaze on her, and rolls over to face him. He watches her carefully.

“Are you mad at me?”

“What? No.”

“Even though it’s nearly four in the morning and you spent the whole night covering for us?”

“It’s what happens when you agree to saving the world, isn’t it?” she points out. Sam’s eyes adjust to the darkness, and she notices for the first time that there’s the beginnings of bruises around his neck. She reaches up to trace them with her fingers, and he instinctively wriggles away. Her breath catches in her throat. “…XANA did this to you?”

“Actually, it was a building contractor,” he corrects. “He started to choke me, but then Ulrich got him in a headlock and next thing you know… we pushed him down some stairs.”

“It must have been scary,” she mutters. At that, his face melts into a smile, and he prods at her face.

“You’re so serious! Sam, trust me, this happens all the time. I’m indestructible, so it’s fine.”

“How else am I supposed to react, huh? My boyfriend comes home with strangulation marks on his neck and you want me to be all cavalier about it…”

“Because I’m used to it.” Odd pauses. “Well, not strangulation in particular, but getting hurt on the job is kinda everyday stuff.”

Sam scowls. “You're not supposed to pretend like this is normal, Odd.”

“What, you want me to cry and be vulnerable on you?”

“No.”

“You do.”

“Okay, fine, I do! What about it?!” She fixes him with a stern look. “You have to be careful! What’s the point in me staying awake and making distractions and shit if you’re just going to fucking die at the end of it, huh?”

“I’m not going to die.” He cups her face in his hands and fixes her with his own stern look. “Look. I know you haven’t been doing this long, but this happens, okay? Not always, but it does. I mean, you remember the kind of fights you used to pick with me when I would come over with these bruises without telling you why.”

She thinks back to the months leading up to him finally telling her the truth. How scared and hurt she felt, seeing him with these cuts and scrapes, bruises, occasionally even a sprain. She’d gone through all the possibilities in her head - bullying, hate crimes, mugging even. Still, he refused to budge, until one day he just… stopped pretending it was all some big coincidence.

“It was scarier not knowing,” she decides. “At least this way I know what you’re up against, but… I don’t know.”

He leans forward and kisses her on the nose. “I promise you I’m fine. But look, part of being a Lyoko pinch hitter is knowing things get hairy sometimes. I’m gonna get hurt from time to time but if I don’t, the whole world explodes. Or, okay, maybe not literally , most of the time, but I’m like, a drop in the bucket.”

“Well, you’re a drop in the bucket who matters to me,” she reinforces. Staring into his eyes, she can feel her body relax slightly. “Look, I’ll drop it. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“Good. Now, can we please sleep? I am so tired, I’m starting to forget who I am. You’re about to encounter Grinch Odd, and he’s no fun whatsoever.”

“Oh, is he the one who said my face looked like a beet that one time?” she wonders, raising her eyebrows at him. He groans and pushes her away, covering his face with his hands.

“How many times do I have to tell you XANA fucked with my speech?” he grumbles. “Completely scrambled my words. I was going for beautiful.”

“Sure, sure. When in doubt, blame it on XANA?”

“I mean it! I would never call you a beet! A potato, maybe…”

She shoves him and he both winces and laughs. “Oof, that guy did a number on me.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll beat him up for you then.”

“You’re going to beat up XANA?”

“Sure, how hard could it be? I’ll just like, reach into the supercomputer with my full fist-”

They both burst out laughing and fall back against the pillows.

Once it trickles out, she blinks sleepily at the ceiling.

“I never really thought about how long you guys have been going without us, though.”

Odd quirks an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“Us. The B-Team, the Pinch Hitters. The Lyoko Warriors’ freaking PR Team! Without someone pulling the strings you must have run into all sorts of trouble, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Odd laughs. “We used to have the authorities trying to invade the factory. Almost got expelled by Delmas. I almost got sent to a psych ward before, that was fun.”

“Jesus, Odd. Why did it take you so long to introduce other people to the fray?”

He shrugs. “No clue, really. One day we just kinda realised… sometimes it’s better to have people around. No man is an island. That can apply to groups too, I guess.”

“And why would you trust me?” Sam presses on, arms folded over her chest. “Sure, I’m your girlfriend, but I’ve hurt you before. I mean really fucked you over. That whole thing with William…”

“You had no way of knowing,” he says firmly. “It was stupid and immature, sure, but how could you have known?”

She shrugs. “I’ve just been thinking about it, I guess.”

They both lapse into silence, but beneath the covers, Odd reaches for her hand.

“I trust you because I trust you,” he says eventually. “And because if we need some big Lyoko Warriors PR Team, I’d want you at the helm. Who else is going to keep William from swaggering off the side of the planet? He can be kinda self-absorbed.”

“Sissi,” Sam deadpans.

“And who else is going to keep Sissi from turning every XANA distraction into a fucking performative art piece?”

“...Okay, fair.”

“By the way, you still taking her out to dinner tomorrow?”

“Apparently. You should tag along as my date.”

He laughs. “No way, I’m no third wheel.”

Sam leans forward and kisses him gently, before muttering, “By the way, I told Ulrich to get me in the main group chat. Think he’ll do it?”

“Absolutely not,” Odd says cheerfully, kissing her back. “But nice try. Here’s to next time.”

…

GROUP CHAT: Into The Lyokoverse

(9:48AM) Jeremie Belpois added Sam Suarez to Into The Lyokoverse.

(9:48AM) Jeremie Belpois: @Everyone Look who decided to show up!

(9:52AM) Yumi Ishiyama: Oh Hi Sam

(9:59AM) Aelita Schaeffer: hey, look who made it to the big leagues!!

(10:10AM) Odd Della Robbia: SAMMMMMMMMM !!!!!!!!!!

(10:12AM) Sam Suarez: !!!!!!!!

#codesecretsanta #code secret santa #code secret santa 2020 #code lyoko #code lyoko evolution #samodd #writing

[klaus-is-the-real-number-1]

She’s Lost Control (Number 5 x reader)

A/N: If anyone suffers from anything mentioned in this fic dont be affraid to message me because ive got a big heart full of love for every single one of you and i want you to know you are loved. Im no proffesional but im always here to listen. I wrote another sad boy fic a while ago called run boy run so you can look at that as well if you want. Yet again as always, five and the reader are teens. (sorry if this is abit dark but it gets better?)

ASK: Five x reader who has self harmed or is depressed and he sees the scars and just lots of fluff please. Im sorry if this is too dark or anything i just feel real bad and i want love man

Words:1162

WARNING: self harm, depression, pretty sad but gets fluffy, blood

Velvet red drops contrast with the stark white of the sink, it was another reminder that you corrupted everything you came in contact with, soft pink stains were a reminder of your previous offences. Your knuckles where white from gripping the sink, feeling shaky breaths leave your body only to cause a think layer of condensation to form on the mirror. The reflection staring back at you in the mirror was unrecognisable, dark circles and a tear stained face, it didn’t look like you, it couldn’t be you. Changing your attention back to the droplets, they were so free with no constraints for where and how they could flow, you wish you could flow like that, free of pain.

As you check your phone you sigh, you hadn’t left your room for days and you could feel the grime building up like a monster gripping at your skin. Your phone pinged, it was Five, he had called, texted and messaged you on almost every form of platform but you just ignored him. If he wanted to see you he could just come over, he could travel anywhere in seconds but couldn’t manage to come over to check on you. ‘It’s because he doesn’t actually care’ You couldn’t help but think to yourself. 

‘Please y/n, come over? I’ll help you catch up on the work you’ve missed at school’ The screen of your phone burnt into your eyes, rereading the words over and over, you weren’t going to reply but then you read the words that followed it. ‘I miss you.’ Maybe you should get out of your room for a bit, just to breathe. You simply respond with a simple ‘ok’ and proceed to tell him you’ll be about an hour.

Stepping into the shower, the warm water ran over your body like a waterfall, crashing on the white tiles at the bottom, but the water slowly turned pink, running over your fresh cuts. A stinging sensation ran through your arm, up through your body and into the core of your chest. It was a reminder how broken and imperfect life was. You slowly wash the grease and grime from your body, trying to wash the monster away but it was always there, always lurking for it’s next attack.

Oversized hoodies hugged you like an old friend, hiding your insecurities. The air was fresh, it chilled your lungs as you made your way to the Academy. Your school bag banged your back, filled with undone work and empty books that you were hoping would be filled with new work from the school you missed. You had also missed Five, seeing his face every day had almost became a necessity, his ramblings about space and time travel were foreign but hearing him get so excited made you smile, he always made you smile.

The doors of the Academy came to face you too soon but you just stood there for a few minuets, unsure weather you wanted to just turn and run home, run away from all your problems and fears. But you knocked anyways, wanting to see Fives face again. You were hardly able to get your third knock on the door until it flew open to reveal Five. The next thing you knew you were pulled inside the Academy with Five almost knocking you over while hugging you, a big bear hug that you sunk into, it was a welcome surprise after days without any contact with anyone.

“I’ve missed you.” He whispered into your ear. Five hold you at arms length to almost examine your dark circles and sunken face. His eyes softened when they met yours. He gently smiled and grabbed your hand as you began to walk up to his room, he kept on rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand almost understanding what you were going through, but he never could understand, he could never know.

You were doing so well, making small talk, acting like everything was fine but then you fell. You fell. Five grabbed your arm to try to break your fall, all you could do was scream in pain. Five let go and stepped back, he watched you break down on his floor, all you could do was silently cry and violently shake, grabbing hold of your arm. The fabric slowly dampened and tuned dark as the stabbing pain started up again. You always had to find a way to mess up.

“y/n,” Five was kneeled down next to you, placing a hand on your back. “Please tell me whats going on, can I see your arm?” You just shook your head, refusing to look him in the eyes.  

“Pl-please.” His voice broke, when you opened your eyes you saw he was crying too. The unbreakable boy was in tears looking at you. Defeated, you let him pull you up and put you on his bed, and then with a blue light he was gone only to reappear mere seconds later holding a bottle of water and some bandages. Five gently pulled your arm closer to him, pulling your sleeve up like you were an ancient piece of fine china that could shatter into a million pieces with the slightest bit of pressure.

Five furiously wiped the tears from his eyes, he couldn’t believe someone as perfect as you could do this, he hated himself for not seeing the signs, for not just going over to check on you. As delicately as he could he wrapped your arm up, silently vowing to himself to never let you do this again, he couldn’t see you break down again, it’d kill him.

He started wiping your tears off with his thumbs, his hands either side of your face. Fives eyes held unknown emotions, he didn’t even know what he was feeling. Five embraced you, pulling you down onto the bed with him, his warmth giving you some kind of comfort.

“Promise me you’ll call me if you get bad again.” It wasn’t even a question, Five was telling you to do it. “I can’t see you get like this again y/n, you mean so much to me you don’t even know. It was torture not hearing or seeing you for them few days and I know I should of just came over. I’m so sorry.” You could feel Fives shaking breaths against the back of your neck, his hands shaking around your waist.

“I promise.” You didn’t know if you truly meant it but it was a start.

Five sighed, tightening his grip around you more. “Y/n, I actually fucking love you so much, you have no idea.”

You smiled on hearing his words. Too tired to respond, you just hum at his words, leaning into Fives embrace. Maybe Five could make a difference in your life but only time can tell but for now you were content, held in Fives arms you drifted off too sleeping, hoping that this would never end. 

#tw suicide #tw self half #the umbrella academy #The umbrella academy x reader #the umbrella academy five #the umbrella academy imagine #number 5 #Number 5 x reader #Number 5 imagine #Number 5 Fluff #number five #number five x reader #number five imagine #number five fluff #Five hargreeves #Five x reader #Five Imagine #five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves imagine #tua #tua five #tua x reader #tua imagine #my works

[mydarlingvioletine]

Just a Puppy Crush - Chapter Sixteen Ship(s): Violet/Clementine, Brody/Ruby, and Louis/Aasim Media: The Walking Dead Game (Season Four)

       Violet has added beLOUga, Bordy, Country Girl 👅, We Live in Aasimulation, and Mars Bar to a group chat.

Violet has renamed the group chat ‘Clem and I kissed, holy shit!!’

       Violet almost dropped her phone at the sound of Clementine coming back outside, the old screen door screeching against the metal frame.

She quickly turned it on silent mode, knowing the utter chaos that would go down once the message sent through, then gave a meek smile to Clem. “Hey, what’d Lee want?”

      “He conveniently forgot how to work the remote again.” Clementine sneered, sending a glance over her shoulder. “And kinda sorta gave us the boot. It’s ten minutes ‘til curfew.”

“Oh,” Violet frowned, shoving her phone into the back pocket of her jeans. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

    “Wait!” Clementine stammered abruptly, her fists balled tightly to her sides. “I-I mean, let me walk you home. If you want!”

Violet froze at the suggestion, and instinctively shoved her hands into her pockets. “Oh my, how chivalrous. Louis is gonna have to step up his game.”

      “What game?” Clem giggled, hooking her arm through Violet’s. “So, would it be okay?”

The gentle carefulness in Clementine’s tone almost melted Violet’s brain circuits, and she grinned before resting her head on the shorter girl’s shoulder. “Abso-tutely!”

       The walk was a lot shorter than Violet really thought it’d be. Sure, she was just outside of the suburbs but it felt so far.

“How festive.” Clementine piped up at the black cat statue on top of the trailer, peering down st them with tentative, watchful green eyes.

        Violet nodded, turning a small pumpkin by the stairs to reveal a pointy-faced jack-o-lantern. “My mom and Lou.. they’re both really into Halloween and decorations and all that.”

“We gotta get our costumes together soon,” Clem stalled, leaning back and forth on the tip of her toes as Violet started rummaging for her keys. “Are you doing anything tomorrow?”

         Violet grasped the jingling keys in her hand, and spun it around her fingertip. “I don’t think so."

Clementine let out a sigh of relief, and awkwardly scratched the back of her head. “Cool beans, cool beans.”

        “Maybe Brody’ll let us borrow her bird? Y’know, that parrot on the shoulder thing?” Vi suggested, trying and failing to unlock the front door with sweaty hands.

Clem giggled, crossing her arms and shaking her head at the thought. “That’d be really cool, but I doubt it. Remember when she stayed home from school for a week when Revali got sick?”

        Aha! There was a click inside the lock as Violet twisted the key to the right. “Yeah, I could barely get her to leave the house that month.”

She pulled the door open, and stopped in the doorway to look back down at the flustered Clementine. “I’d, um, invite you in but my dad’s gonna be home soon. He got really mad when Louis and I had a study sesh and I forgot to tell him.”

     “Oh, yeah!” Clementine nodded, blinking quickly and shuffling her foot. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

With an eye roll, Violet hopped back down from the doorstep and quickly pressed a kiss to the shorter girl’s forehead. “See ya, dork.”

      Violet let herself slump against the door behind her, and buried her face in her hands, leaving a blushing-like-crazy Clementine on the other side.

                   Holy shit.

Her eyes snapped down to her phone beside her, screen lit up with dozens of notifications.

4 missed calls from beLOUga.

56 missed messages from ‘Clem and I kissed, holy shit’.

The phone buzzed in her hands just as she picked it up, and she rolled her eyes at Louis’ persistence.

“What the FUCK, Violet?” Vi quickly turned her phone volume down, a little too late, as Louis started screeching incoherently. “If you’re shitting with me, I swea-“

          “I’m not shitting with you,” Violet sternly rose her voice, glaring in annoyance at the frantic Louis on her screen. “We, uh, were hanging out and dancing and stuff and she just kissed me.”

A sharp scream pierced Violet’s ears, and she lowered the volume even more. “Dude.”

       Louis clasped his hands over his mouth just as he realized something. “Shit, I owe Aasim fifty bucks.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Violet questioned, scratching the back of her head. “You guys placing bets on us?”

      “Oh no, absolutely not!” Louis laughed nervously. “That’d be, uh, immoral. Bad. Not in my good Christian friend group.”

Violet giggled as Louis tripped over his words, and a snort escaped her. “You’re such a dork.”

      “Maybe so, maybe so.” Louis gave a toothy and charming smile, happily resting his chin on his palms. “You look happy, Vi.”

She felt heat rush to her face for maybe the thousandth time that day, and shrugged her shoulders in an attempt to hide her blush. “I am, Lou. I haven’t felt like this in.... ever.”

       “You deserve it.” Louis piped up, giving her a quick wink. “Someone that’ll actually treat you how you should be treated. A girl who loves you.”

Violet felt her ears go up in flames at the last statement, and tugged her knees to her chest instinctively. “Shut up, you fucking sap.”

        Louis happily sighed, lazily holding his head up. He opened his mouth to say something when a car door slammed outside of Violet’s trailer, and they both froze at the noise.

“Ugh, Scott.” Violet hissed under her breath, earning a sympathetic look from Louis. “I gotta go.”

           He quickly regained his happy composure, stretching his arms out in a yawn. “That’s alright, I’ll make sure to get every detail out of you tomorrow. Have a good night, Vi. Love you!”

Louis propped his phone up against his pillow and created a heart with his hands, smiling goofily.

        “Iloveyoutoo.” Violet quickly murmured, cutting off a triumphant “AHA!” by ending the call. She scrambled to her feet, and lay down on the mattress, burrowing underneath her treasured knitted blanket, given to her by Brody.

The front door begrudgingly opened after a couple pushes, and heavy, stumbling footsteps dragged across the trailer floor.

            Violet held her breath as the floor creaked at the end of her mattress, eyes softly shut as her drunk father loomed over her. After what felt like forever, he turned around and left, shutting her door behind him.

With a sigh of relief, she let her gaze drop back down to her phone, full of new notifications since she’d last talked to Louis.

One missed text from mlem.

70 missed messages from ‘Let’s go lesbians, let’s go.’

            Putting her priorities in order, she opened her newest message from Clementine. She swore for a second she saw a text bubble pop up, but it quickly disappeared.

mlem: legend has it that a pirate’s favorite letter is R, some say it’s the C, but as a living, breathing pirate, I can verify it’s u!

           A giggle involuntarily escaped Violet’s lips, and she racked her brain for an equally witty remark. She almost considered asking Louis for help on one, but quickly realized he’d never let her live it down.

violet: you’re such a cornball

     She let a happy sigh escape her, clutching the phone to her chest tightly. She then flipped back to the chaotic group chat to see what damage had been done.

We live in Aasimulation has renamed the chat ‘I want my fucking money Louis.’

beLOUga: tell you what, what if we go out to a nice restaurant and spend it that way?

We live in Aasimulation: But I was gonna buy smash ultimate

beLOUga: fair. i’ll give you it first period

We live in Aasimulation: on second thought, dinner sounds nice. don’t expect me to put out on the first date, though

Bordy: a a s i m this is a PG Minecraft server and as captain I can and will use my power to keep it that way

We live in Aasimulation: Brody you literally just sent us a picture of Ruby after her lifting sesh with a bunch of tongue emojis

Bordy has removed We Live in Aasimulation from the group chat.

Bordy: whos next

Bordy: vi!! i see you lurking! give us the deets

violet: uh no

beLOUga: okay I’ll ask Clem then

         Violet’s drowsy eyes darted open, and she frantically typed to stop him. Thank god for auto correct.

violet: WAIT NO

violet: we were dancing together on her porch and talking and I guess I let it spill that I had feelings for her and she kissed me

violet: there you go voila no need to bother her

Bordy: ooh la la~

beLOUga: im not bothering her she’s the one who’s blowing up my phone with dumb shit like ‘okay but does she LIKE LIKE me’

Country girl: d’awww and I thought violet was a mess

        Violet frowned, and switched back to her one-on-one conversation with Clementine. She could’ve sworn again that a text bubble appeared in the corner, but it disappeared before she could verify.

violet: aarrrrrr you free tomorrow after school? we can work on our costumes and hang out :)

              Clem’s response took two seconds tops.

mlem: yea totally, sounds good!! aj really wants to show you his costume too!

violet: cool, i can’t wait.

        Violet took a couple seconds to alter Clem’s name on her phone, and grinned down at the result.

violet: im too tired to think of any more pirate puns, so im gonna hit the sack. night, Clem

clem☀️: goodnight vi!

#hashtag justice for aasim #twdg #the walking dead game #twdg clementine #twdg violet #violentine #violetine #twdg louis #twdg aj #done running #the walking dead game finale #redd writes #loussim #brody/ruby #twdg brody #twdg ruby #twdg aasim #twdg finale

[spontaneoushiccups-blog]

What a year. I can hear Iris shouting from her crib in the other room, boisterously rejecting her afternoon nap. She is tall and big- with magically copper colored hair and light, twinkly blue eyes. Everywhere we go everyone falls in love with her. Her charisma is pure magic. She looks right at you and smiles coyly. She buries her head in your chest and looks up at you with a big toothy grin- binky still in her mouth. She shrieks at the top of her lungs with vigorous demand for food or attention or just a laugh. It takes a lot of willpower for me not to say to every stranger who comments on her undeniable charm, “you have no idea. This kid has gracefully survived in her first year more medical trauma than you will probably see in your entire life.” I used to tell everyone she came into contact with- but I’ve learned that it freaks people out. Sometimes I still do it, but I find joy in knowing how much her light lights up every room- even without anyone knowing what a tremendous gift her light actually is. All the things she has been through- what we have been through together.

It’s been nearly 10 months since I’ve taken the time to sit down and write about all of this. At moments it was too hard. In other moments I was just too tired to look at it. As I sit in our brightly lit living room on a perfect, clear, cold green spring day in Portland on the eve of my beautiful baby’s birthday, I am compelled to. So much has happened. In June- while on the coast with our family we got a call that her BT Shunt was bent and could fail at any moment- giving us just a few moments to save her failing heart, and that we had to drop everything and go immediately back to Portland, directly to the chlidren’s hospital and prepare for her to have her Glenn heart operation 2 months premature (and those were 2 important months.) So we left. We sent our 5 year old to California and we drove as fast we could to the hospital. We listened to Kid A the whole way and cried. We got there and there she laid- smiling and pale in a new hospital room, gentle and patient with the wires and the beeping- the constant prodding and poking, adjusting, testing. Until after a few days of monitoring her- the maternal instinct of the fill in cardiologist (ours was in Korea and no one could reach him) canceled the surgery hours before it was to take place. Then just-like-that we were home again and the turmoil calmed and it was another “until next time.” We just had to get our other daughter back from California.

Then there was the feeding tube. The fucking feed tube. She would pull it out and we would be stunned by her beautiful, bare face- not realizing how normalized we had become to that awful yellow tube with its big slab of taciderm tape across her perfect, plump cheek. She would often, quite proudly, pull it out. Every single time we had to put it back up her tiny nostril, and force it down her throat- causing our tiny baby who we were told not to “let cry” because of her heart, would scream in pain and discomfort. I physically couldn’t do it. Major respect to my wonderful husband who reinserted it every single time. My job was to pin down her little arms as she squirmed and screamed. I would carefully cut the taciderm tape into the shape I had perfected with so much practice. He would put in the tube, and as fast as I could I would lay down the pad, stretch the tape just slightly and stick it to her sweet, sad face. We would usually chase the experience down with a shot of vodka. We eventually joked that the stress was so intense, afterward it was like trying to sedate a wild rhinoceros- our skin was too tough to penetrate, even with vodka. It just made us feel a little less like we were on fire. A nurse once told me that they surveyed patients and providers alike about what the most upsetting outpatient procedure to perform or endure was. It was hands down the NG tube for both patient and medical personnel. Worse than an IV, worse than a G-tube, worse than setting a bone. So at least everyone hates it as much as us, I guess.

Once she started getting big enough to be interested in food that wasn’t formula- we opted to have a GTube placed surgically in her stomach so that the NG living in her throat wouldn’t potentially affect her long term love of food (an important quality in this family.) Once placed- we never ended up using it. Im told this is a common phenomenon. The minute that tube left her face- she started eating (and growing) really well. Because it had to be surgically placed- as a precaution it had to go six months without use before we could remove it. That six months officially came this last Saturday. After we were given a blessing on the phone by the general surgery team- Ryan and I rather nervously deflated the little water balloon that kept it steady in her belly and pulled it out right out. She hardly even noticed. We covered it with a bandaid and within a matter of a few hours, the pencil sized hole turned into a closed up wink of scar tissue. Just like that. It feels incredible to hold her and feel her soft belly without that awkward, plastic button poking through.

At the end of August- at the appropriately scheduled time she went in for her Glenn heart surgery. She had a pre-cath procedure to determine the size of her arteries (nice and plump) and we were hoping that her anatomy would reveal that she was a good candidate for the “Cath Fontan” a new procedure they are starting to do more regularly here in Oregon that would make it so her chest would not have to be reopened for her third surgery, the Fontan, between the ages of 3 and 5. In order to do it they would have to etch a little patch in her heart while her chest was open during the Glenn. Anytime a child’s (or anyone I assume) sternum is opened they have to go through 8-10 weeks of sternal precautions, meaning no torque whatsoever to her arms, and no lifting from her armpits. Not as difficult to do on a baby that you can just scoop right up- but a bit of a logistical nightmare for a 4 year old who would probably want to be held. So the idea of instead going through her thigh, a much shorter hospital stay, and an overall less traumatic experience for her (us) was beyond appealing. (Not even to mention that Iris will have no memory whatsoever of her surgeries this year- but by 3 or 4 years old will.) We were given a photo of her heart and all her arteries- like a tiny tree with sinewy branches reaching out, stark white against a black backdrop. They told us it didn’t look like she would be a good candidate for the cath fontan, afterall.

So another morning came and another anesthesiologist explained how they would put her under. Again a surgeon drew the little diagram of her unique little heart and explained in a foreign language what they were about to do. Again we signed all the papers and kissed her on her little forehead and a team of medical professionals wheeled her down the hall away from us. We went to the garden and prayed (something I never used to do, but often do now.) We waited in the gorgeous family waiting room with 11 foot tall windows looking out against the fremont bridge that arches across the twinkling Willamette river. Hours before I expected to see or hear anything the surgeon came in to talk to us. I was scared. He was gentle and soft spoken. She was out! She had done a great job and was already waking up from anesthesia, her little striped orange kitty rattle still at her side. He was pleased to tell us that once he got an actual look at her heart (something I will never be able to fathom) that she was a perfect candidate for the cath fontan, afterall. We burst into tears.

And then we were out of interstage. I will never forget the day the medical supplies company came and took away her oxygen tanks, her scale, her blood oximeter. In many ways I feel like interstage was an extension of my traumatic pregnancy. That once the Glenn was over the stork finally arrived and brought me this beautiful, smiling baby. The summer was such a blur of chaos, sadness, stress. I felt like death was sitting in the corner of every room and then one day- he was gone. Sometimes I still see him out of the corner of my eye. Who after all is safe from death? Not one of us. But I’m not so constantly reminded anymore. In the place of that worry- of seeing mortality with xray vision, all the time, every day, I instead can marvel at the way Iris melts every stranger at the grocery store. I weep every time she falls asleep, heavy on my chest. A few weeks ago I stepped out of the shower and there she was standing in her crib, big and strong and beautiful with her bright red, magic hair glowing from the sun behind her, and she looked me right in the eyes and put her arms up and said “Mama!” for the very first time. I felt it all the way in my toes. I used to love to tell people the enormity of what she went through- to watch their eyes widen as I reminded them of their own mortality- but now I know better how to quietly, graciously, understand that lurking under the skin of every darkness- there is beauty, and it was always there.

[coffeetoxication]

the link to ch 9 of without hesitation doesnt work :( btw love your fanfic so far!! i adore the characterization that youve put in

With the witching hour rolling in and Ren being wide awake due to the number of naps that he’s had today, he was playing around on his phone while Stimpy is fast asleep. After their little fun that they’ve had in the bath including having a long make out session in the shower, Ren couldn’t really get Johnathan out of his mind. He hasn’t really texted him ever since this morning and he was starting to worry if he was making Johnathan feel left out. With a sigh, he got out from the bed quietly as he could and went downstairs towards the kitchen. He was debating if he should make some coffee or not. Though he didn’t want to be too wired, he pulls out his messages to see if Johnathan messaged him yet.

Of course, nothing.

Putting his phone down on the kitchen counter, he peeked through the blinds of the window to look to see if there was anything going on. To his surprise, nothing. However, he did notice …. something just across the street. No, it was someone. Someone leaning against their car with what seems to be a cigarette in his hand. Considering that the guy was right under the street light, his hat had completely overshadowed his face. This was creepy beyond Ren’s comfort levels. The fact that this guy was just …. standing there and possibly staring right at him made his skin crawl. The guy probably knew that he was in there. Ren thanked himself that he didn’t turn on the living room lamp on. Though making sure that all windows and doors are locked is a must.

“Creepy fucker.” Ren mumbled to himself as he quickly went to make sure that all doors and windows were absolutely shut and locked.

God only knows of what this guy wants. Frankly, Ren didn’t WANT to know.

Kitchen, bathroom, living room, guest room, … everything seemed locked and untouched from the first floor. Now, the last room to check was upstairs bedroom and bathroom. Looking up, he suddenly hated on how the stairs looked. Dark and ominous. Letting his imagination get the best of him like a scared child. Thinking such irrational silly things like hands coming out of the walls and underneath the stairs and drag him away.

“ … run up the stairs you fuckin’ pussy …” Ren tells himself, taking a deep breath and closes his eyes tightly.

Just like that, Ren ran up as quickly as he could, almost tripping a couple of times.

Reaching upstairs, Ren felt the relief overcome him. Knowing that Stimpy was in the bedroom practically snoring made him feel calm for once. Tip-toeing around the remaining rooms, Ren felt something that was rather … off. He really couldn’t put his finger on it, but it felt as if he was being watched. He didn’t dare to think that there were more of them out there. God, he had hoped and prayed that the one by the street light is just the one.

Making sure, and very much sure that he was going to regret it, he goes by the bedroom blinds and goes to check outside carefully. The worst part of it was that it was completely dark. Not even the street lights were bright enough to pierce the darkness of their backyard. In a way, it kind of relieved him. If it was too dark to see outside, it would be too dark for anybody to see anything from the inside. It was possibly his own paranoia that was making him feel this way. He was contemplating about calling the cops, but the guy would’ve been far from gone by the time they get here. What would he tell them? That some creepy fuck was outside his house and he had no idea of what he looked like? Yeah. Sure.

With an exhausted sigh, he got into bed slowly and crawled inside the covers. It was hard to believe, but Ren was scared. Very scared to the point where he began to shiver.

Feeling Stimpy’s warmth radiating from him, Ren scooted himself closer to him. Even tightly wrapping both of his arms around Stimpy’s. Closing his eyes tightly. Ears picking up the clanks and creaks of the house resting making him think it was someone lurking around.

“S-stimpy …?” Ren whimpered, “S …… stimpy?”

With a few shakes and even a good harsh nudges with his knees, he finally got him to wake up and to cease his obnoxious snoring.

“Mmmmm, hmmm?” Stimpy groaned, one eye peeking at Ren.

“I … I can’t sleep …….” Ren whispered.

“Oh? …..” Stimpy rubs his eyes, almost on the verge of falling asleep again. “How come?”

Ren wanted to tell Stimpy about the man he had seen. However, it would probably turn out to be one of those cliche scenes where he would say something and then the man would be long gone by now. Ren didn’t really know of what to say. He was conflicted if he should tell another lie or tell Stimpy of what’s really going on for a change. Did he really need to worry about it? Would he really understand? Probably not.

“N-Nevermind, … I’ll tell ya in the mornin’.” Ren mumbled, pulling the covers over him.

“Mmmm, …. okaaayyy …” Stimpy yawns as he wraps an arm around him.

From there, Ren felt an immediate sense of security. Stimpy pulling him into a sleepy embrace made him feel so stupidly warm and fluttery inside. Letting Stimpy do whatever he wants, he closes his eyes to drift into a calm sleep.

*~*~*~*~

With the remaining hours left before sunrise, Johnathan remained awake in the home of Mr. Horse. The environment around him was … overwhelming. He wasn’t used to being in homes that were filled with expensive furniture, antiques, and bookcases larger than himself. All he’s ever known was cheap hotels, trailer parks, and beat down apartments. Everything was a struggle. To do what he had to do to keep a roof over himself along with his father, it didn’t matter how filth-ridden the place was, it was home.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t envious. To be in a high-class house like this, it was like a dream. A dream that was his a long time ago back in college. How all of his hard work studying and working long-shifts would pay off. How life would owe him in the end.

But life has it’s own set of rules. How cruel and unfair it can be. Johnathan understood that reality. If only his father would. If he knew then of what he knows now, none of this would’ve happened.

However, …. there’s no point dwelling on it now. Johnathan was far too tired to really cause his body anymore stress. He didn’t want to bother to look at his phone either.

Maybe a book would help. It’s been a while since he’s really picked up a book. Not that he wanted to. Just never found the time.

Getting up from his bed in the guest room, he makes his way towards the living room as he turns a lamp on. The hardwood floor cold beneath his feet, it was oddly comforting. The room itself had a cozy atmosphere. An unlit fireplace with a widescreen t.v above it, two leather reading chairs, a couch that looks to be soft to the touch, a mahogany book case that was filled with a variety of books it seems, and finally … a simple rug in the middle of the room. Letting out a content sigh, Johnathan begins to scan through the book case with the tip of his index finger. Psychology, sociology, psychopathology, neuropsychology, philosophy, some written by independent authors about their experiences as therapists, and … even some poetry. H.P Lovecraft, Tennessee Williams, Sylvia Plath, and even Edgar Allan Poe. Haven’t heard that name since high school, he thought. Feeling nostalgic, he pulled out the book of which contained all of Poe’s notorious writings and poems.  

Johnathan remembered how he had to do a report about Poe and what writing of his influenced him the most while Ren had Emily Dickinson. The echoing voice of Ren’s complaining ringed in his ears.

“Seriously, how am I supposed to understand this poetic shit? If I really wanted to be THIS depressed I would’ve gone through my ol’ man’s ‘secret’ stash.”

“The whole point of understanding these poets, Ren, is that they’ve used this type of writing to expel their anguishes even if may seem out of the norm. Not a lot of people back in those times really understood depression or how to properly deal with it.”

“Okay there, Mr. Analysis, no need to go all out on me. Ya might choke. Who you workin’ on?”

“Edgar Allan Poe.”

“Hmm, never heard of ‘im. Is he just as depressing as dickson or whatever the fuck her name is?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that, but he has a unique style of writing. He kind of adds a little bit of horror in his works which gives it an extra edge to it, but I guess if I had to pick any of his works that I can relate to in a sense, is ‘Alone’.”

Alone.

Flipping the pages of the book, Johnathan had found it.

From childhood’s hour I have not beenAs others were–I have not seenAs others saw–I could not bringMy passions from a common spring–From the same source I have not takenMy sorrow–I could not awakenMy heart to joy at the same tone–And all I lov’d–I lov’d alone–

“And all I loved … I loved alone …” Johnathan whispered to himself, frowning as he did.

The nostalgia he felt now were tugged heart strings. Feeling the repressed pain that he had felt all those years were now swarming like a dropped wasps nest. This was not how he wanted to spend the rest of the night. Being all melancholy in a home that wasn’t his.

Deciding to put the book away, he started to look for something less depressing.  

While searching, his ear caught the sound of the floor creaking only to realize that someone was stepping inside of the living room. It startled him as he swiftly turned his head to find Mr. Horse by the entrance way. With his heart racing he stepped back from the bookcase as if to say “I wasn’t touching anything!”. However, seeing a small smile on Mr. Horse’s face made him relax.

“I see that you have taking a liking to my collection here …” He said, his voice hoarse as if he had just woken up.

“Y-Yeah, … I c-couldn’t really sleep, so I thought that reading would help. I … didn’t wake you up, did I?” Johnathan looked down, rubbing his arm in embarrassment.

“Of course not. I suppose you can call it an intuition. I always know when one is restless, so my body acts accordingly.” Mr. Horse shakes his had, placing a hand on Johnathan’s shoulder.

Johnathan can’t really have himself to forget on how gentle Mr. Horse with. The way he talks, how soft his touch is, and the welcoming aura around him makes Johnathan wish that he knew more people like him.  

“So, … may I ask of what is troubling you?” Mr. Horse took a seat on the couch, patting the spot right next to him.

With a deep sigh, Johnathan sat right next to him as he drooped his head. Elbows resting on his thighs with his fingers holding his chin, he wasn’t sure on where to start.

“Just …. everything. Me questioning of my own sanity, my … fucking dad, the thought of the mafia looking to serve my ol’ mans head on a silver platter to the head honcho, and ya know … asking myself of what the fuck I’m doing here.” Johnathan said, “Why ….. did I have to come here ….?”

Lowering his head even more, Johnathan felt as if he was tearing apart inside. He felt so lost into everything that it was hard to really try to tackle all of these problems at once. Johnathan had always had this sense of pride that he could try to outcome any situation even if it meant life and death. However, one could only handle the same situation multiple times to where they have come to the end of their rope. Johnathan, … was very much at the end of his …

“My dear boy, ….” Mr. Horse starts, “It doesn’t take a therapist to know on how much you’re currently going through. How emotionally and mentally straining everything is on you.”

Johnathan could only scoff at the obvious, not that Mr. Horse was wrong but just how true his words are.

“If I may be so bold as to give you suggestions to make it easier not only for you, but for your father as well. In return, you have to do something for me.”

“ …. Suggestions?”

“Yes. Now, listen carefully …”

#ren and stimpy #Anonymous

[flwrpower380]

So i dated this boy for a i kid u not, like five days and three of those i didnt even speak to him bc of how uncomfortable i was. So the second day of dating i was out w friends essentially all day. I had told him hey b ill message u when i can but ill b w friends today. I talk to this boy every single day. I essentially am hanging out w him everyday. I really thought he would be fine. So its like 6pm and hes like hey and im like hey again msg u when i can. He was chill and everything seemed fine. I finally got home and its like 12:30am im tired i wana go to bed but before i do that i go on twitter bc u know ppl do that its normal. Im on for like 20 mins and decide id call him in the morning i mean im so tired and i wana have me time not calling one night is fine. This guy sees me online so he calls me SAD and hes like “u werent gana call me huh” i was so UNCOMFORTABLE i felt GROSS i was in shock i said nothing for like seconds. I dont remember what i said but we hung up and he messaged apologizing for making things weird and after that i ignored him for days until he messaged and i was like we are breaking up. I never thought id break up thru message but i felt so uncomfortable and unsafe around his presence i just couldnt do it. I couldnt describe how controlled or watched i felt that moment when he saw i was online and called me to be like i know ur free. What the fuck? Now this guy stalks me. Creates new profiles to lurk through my social media. Ive been w my new partner since jan of this year meaning i have talked to this guy for almost two years now!!!!!!!!!! He still talks about missing me or “the one that got away” im sorry but i did not love someone i dated for two days and i dont understand what he belives in his mind??????

[peakyblinders1919]

Wrapping Presents

You stood on his doorstep in the pouring rain. It rarely got cold enough in England for snow around the holidays. Still, you stood shivering and dripping wet as you raised your shaking hand again, ready to pound on the door no matter what time it was, when he opened it.

It was dark out, it was past midnight after all, but his blue eyes peeked out into the darkness from around the door like spotting a pair of animals eyes at night. Just you and the animal, lurking in the forest and shadows, what were you supposed to do when it could see you, but you couldn’t see it?

“Y/N, do you know what time it is?” You sighed, thankful that your best friend wasn’t an actual animal, though everyone saw him to be a bit of a monster.

“I’m sorry-”

“What?” Tommy asked, impossible to hear you over the thunderous sound of rain.

“I’m sorry it’s late, but… Robert broke up with me.” You cried, thinking this was your lowest moment ever. Standing on Thomas Shelby’s doorstep at half to one in the pouring rain on Christmas Eve, well technically Christmas.

“Come in, come in” he said, opening the door all the way and inviting you into the warmth of his house.

“I know this is crazy, I shouldn’t be here but-”

“Y/N, sit down,” he said, leading you over to the couch, pulling out a blanket to wrap around your convulsing body to keep you warm. “Whiskey?”

“Could use something a bit warmer…”

“Tea it is.” He said with a yawn, walking across the room to the stove and bringing it to life, plunging the room into light. He worked quickly to put the kettle on the stove then sat across from you, running a hand through his messy hair. “Need a tissue?”

“No, that’s alright, I think I got all the tears out on my way over,” you said with a laugh. You curled into yourself, the blanket pulled up to your chin. You pressed your palms into your eyes, trying to get the hint of a headache coming on to go away. “Uh, I don’t know what I’m doing here Tommy, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s alright, I wasn’t sleeping much anyway,” he said, handing her a steaming cup of tea as he took one himself, sitting back down. “So...you want me to kill him for you? It could be your Christmas present.”

“Tommy,” you squealed, realizing everyone else in the house was fast asleep. “No, no… well, then again...no Tommy. I can’t just have you killing everyone who bothers me.” You said after thinking about it.

“It was only that one time…” Tommy said, followed by sipping his tea, two things you’d never expect to see happen simultaneously. Murder wasn’t exactly the kind of thing you expected you’d be talking about lightly over tea, but there was nothing you could do to change that. Life had had a plan for you, independent of your own you had formed in your head as a little girl. “What happened?”

“I don’t know. I thought everything was going well between us, you know, we were talking about moving in together and...and I was supposed to spend Christmas with his family. Fuck. I’ve told my family I couldn’t come home, there’s no way I can get a train there in time.” You said, mostling thinking out loud at this point, the reality of it all hitting you so hard in the chest you thought you were going to cry again.

“Oh, no, Y/N, stop that.”

“I’m sorry,” you whined, the tears hot against your cheeks.

“Alright,” Tommy huffed, running his hands down his thighs as rose to a standing position. “We’re not going to spend the holidays alone and sad. I won’t allow that. Now, it’s too god damn early, why don’t we get some sleep and then you can spend Christmas with us.”

“Tommy, that’s sweet but I don’t think-”

“Nonsense, you’re practically family.”

“That’s not what I was going to say. I don’t think I can sleep, I’m not tired.”

He sighed, rubbing his eyes while he looked at you, his best friend for years now. How could he forget that ever since you were a little kid, you could never sleep Christmas night. When your parents told you the story of Santa Clause and how a big fat man entered your house at night, you had to stay up all night waiting for him. Not to see him come down the chimney and leave presents under the tree, but to stop him from hurting anyone. It was no surprise that you automatically became friends with the Shelbys, when as a little girl you’d wait up all night with a toy gun hoping to stop the intruder. Tommy laughed to himself in the growing quiet. “How could I forget.”

You smiled lightly. For all the times people claimed Tommy didn’t care, you knew just how wrong they were. You had told him that story more than 20 years ago when you were still in school together, and he remembered to this day. “No it’s fine, but I’m sorry I woke you. You should go get some rest, I’ll stay and watch the fireplace.”

��That’s a nice offer, but I don’t think I could fall back asleep either.” Tommy said, his head falling back onto the couch while he sat next to you, his eyes growing heavy with sleep in now time. You poked him gently, his eyes opening quickly.

“You know, you’re a very good liar with everyone except me.”

“You’d just be able to tell I’m lying anyway, so what’s the point?” He said, looking up at your face ablaze from the fire.

“Well, if your going to be stubborn and not sleep, we’ve got to pass the time somehow.”

“You like wrapping presents, right?” You perked up at the mention of it, finishing your tea now that you were warm and dry.

“Yeah, and you’re useless at wrapping presents. One time for my birthday you didn’t even wrap my present you just said ‘here’ and gave it to me.”

“Alright, alright, poke fun. Do you want to help or not?” He said, getting up and walking to a closet in the corner, pulling out some small boxes.

“I’ll help.” You said, leaving the comforts of the couch and standing at the table, waiting for him to place the presents down. “Bring me the tape,” you said as he walked over. You looked at the presents, already in boxes so you couldn’t really see what they were. “Who leaves presents to be wrapped the day of? It’s like you were waiting for me….Thomas Shelby did you?” You said, swinging around and holding the scissors to his chest accusingly, the paper now spread across the table.

“I had nothing to do with Robert breaking up with you.” Tommy stated, watching you put the scissors down and placing the paper around the box getting ready to cut it to the right size. The thought had crossed his mind many times, but somehow he had enough conscious to never act upon it. The room was quiet as you folded the paper around the box.

“Sorry I even thought…”

“It did occur to me, but I had nothing to do with it.”

“Tommy, I’ve told you before. You’ve got to move on.”

“I can’t, not when you show up at my doorstep at midnight looking for solace.”

You sighed heavily, wrapping the present and starting on the next one, ignoring his words. You knew ever since you were small how Tommy felt about you. It was flattering at best, but you seemed to be the only girl in all of Birmingham to not fall for those icy blue eyes. He was your best friend, and you’d always love him in that regard but it was hard to picture you and him as anything more. But he was right, the second someone broke your heart, you were back crying on Tommy’s shoulder.

“Who are these for anyway?” You questioned as you wrapped the last box, hoping the change of subject would dispel tension in the air between you too now. Tommy didn’t know how to take ‘no’ as an answer.

“You.” You slowly looked up at him, your heart stopping. “That’s why they weren’t wrapped yet. I didn’t know if I wanted to give them to you. But…

“But since I’m a single women now, why not try to win me over with jewels?” You spat.

“Y/N, forget your damn pride. I’m sorry I’m head over heels for you and you don’t know what’s good for you, but don’t dismiss me without even considering.”

He never shouted at you, and tears pricked your eyes now as you stood there with him. She bit your tongue, trying to make it stop before he noticed, looking around the room and shaking your head.

“Typical Tommy getting me to wrap my own gifts. What’d you get me?”

“Open it.”

You glared at him out of the corner of your eye but took the present and sat down to tear your nice wrapping open. You opened the box to pull out…

“Thanks for the gift...I guess.” You said, holding up a pair of socks and looking past them at Tommy, almost questioning where the jewels were. He laughed at little, obviously finding your confusion amusing.

“I thought you could use some new ones when we go to America, I heard it snows over there so you might need to keep your feet warm.”

“America!?” You squealed. “What’re you talking about?”

“I got us two tickets to New York, you’ve always wanted to see the world and I’m going to show it to you.” Suddenly any anger you felt towards him was gone as you ran and jumped into his arms.

“I can’t believe you, this is amazing.”

“You’re amazing Y/N, and whether your my best friend or something else, you deserve this.”

sorry about the ending, im not in love with it

#peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby fanfiction #tommy shelby

[no-more-cream]

Survive pt 5

Rated (R) : Violence, Cursing

Sorry guys.. It kind of sucks and I honestly hate it but I wanted to get it out to you guys. Dx 

Sorry in advance.

Jungkook x Reader

Ima edit later and make it better. For now please enjoy.

-Admin K

Not sleeping seemed to be a normal habit for you now and days. You were always on guard, always watching for those flesh craving freaks. You always wondered how the rest of the group slept all the time. How they can even close their eyes even for a second in this decaying world we call home. No one can be trusted… you’ve seen too much death.. Too much violence in your lifetime. Even before the world went to shit.

You don't even see an animal in the world anymore. When was the last time you saw a squirrel run past you up the tree getting ready for the harsh winter to come with its stash of walnut nuts? Oh god how much you missed the chirping of birds in the trees or hell, those annoying bees buzzing in your ears..

When was the last time you felt a little dog’s tongue against the palm of your hand as a way of showing love? Although it's not like you got that much either before the epidemic started anyways. All you did was train and work. Here and there you'll pet one of the military German Shepherds to show appreciation when they helped search for things like hidden mine bombs and what not.

Although your memory fails to work after a year you will always remember that terrible day.. You were with your military dog-which you only had him for a week- searching for anything to be unordinary.  You took the lead this time to test out your new dog’s skills. Apparently he was known to be the best in the whole military. Although you aren't supposed to name the dogs so you don't get attached you did anyways, because this dog was your dog. You wanted him to be more than a military dog. It was the only thing that really kept you company. He was family.

His name was Reggie. You should of listened to Reggie that night, he knew something wasn't right. You should of listened to him when he was trying to pull back and retreat. You didn't listen..

You never listen to anyone..

The sounds of the bombs exploding and hearing Reggie yelp in pain as you both flew away from the explosion winds. Loud ringing in your ear and your men dragging your body away as you see a pool of blood all around you, you remember yourself screaming for Reggie’s name, looking for him. You remember ripping your hands out from your men’s arms trying to look for your precious Reggie, only to be greeted by nothing but darkness and the sounds of shooting and men screaming in pain..

 Shaking the thought from your mind you quickly stand up to check on the rest of the boys. Walking over to the entrance of the house you were temporarily staying in for the night you came across the boys scattered around the house sleeping. You smile to yourself, looking at how peaceful they all look. You wonder if you should wake them up to head on out and continue east but you decide to let them have another hour at most. They were always working so hard the past few days you been with them, they deserve more sleep.

 “Ahh when did I become so soft hearted” you ask yourself as you sigh and walk back outside to keep watch on the balcony.

 A few minutes have passed when you hear footsteps walking through the house, you swiftly crouch down and stay in position, repeating your basics to yourself you watch for any attackers in eye sight before moving forward. Breathing softly you continue forward, taking out your gun.

Seeing a shadow slowly becoming bigger in the distance, you point your gun towards the possible threat in your hideout.

Showing himself from the shadows you sigh in relief and put your gun down on the floor, rubbing your eyes in irritation.

“Y/N you're still awake? Why haven't you slept yet?” Jungkook ask with a husky tired voice.

“I don't sleep anymore.” you say with a yawn, “why are you awake?” you ask Jungkook as he pulls you into his arms giving you a kiss on your head. “ I had a nightmare..” he whispers. You frown to yourself rubbing his back, “what was it this time?” with a sigh he responds, “the usual, you getting attacked and I can't do anything to stop it.. This time though, you actually got bit. And my body just couldn't move to help you.. God even before I found you again I have this dream every night..” Rubbing your face against his chest you kiss it softly. “That will never happen Jungkook. Im stronger than that you know that” with a small chuckle you hear a soft, “even so I always wanted to protect you” looking up at Jungkook you give him a soft smile.

 “Hey you guys ready to go?” You hear Jimin’s voice behind you both. You turn around to see Jimin getting dressed. “Yes sir” Jungkook respond, giving you one last hug before he leaves to get ready.

“You know he really worries about you all the time” Jimin says, as he grabs his white shirt to slide over his torso. “I don't know why. I can take care of myself”

“You were his future wife, obviously he's going to get protective with you”

You look out the broken window seeing leaves blow in the night sky.

“Jimin…” you whisper, “ what if we don't make it to the utopia”

Looking out of the window next to you he doesn't respond.

“I mean.. How far can this utopia be?” you say to yourself making Jimin sigh, “who even knows if there's one out there to be honest. When was the last time we found a living creature”

“Jungkook found me..” you say looking over at Jimin.

With a shrug saying that's true, he pats your back, walking to the other members.

Something catching your eye you look out into the darkness.

“Fuck..” you curse to yourself, quickly running to the group.

“Everyone needs to wake up” you say, shaking Namjoon and Yoongi awake.

“What's wrong?” Jungkook says as he moves closer to you. “There's something moving outside”

Namjoon and the rest gather up the supplies as Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung gets the car ready in the garage.

“Y/N” Hoseok says, ‘Yeah?” you respond, watching over the movement outside making sure its not getting closer. “Did you ever gather food like I asked you to do last night? I can't find it?” cursing to yourself you turn to Hoseok, “I’m sorry I been up all night keeping watch, I completely forgot”

“Seriously? What are we supposed to do now? We have no food or water” he says in agitation, “god you are so useless”

“Hey, leave her the fuck alone” Jungkook says, coming in from the garage. “Who are you to say she's useless? She's up every night watching over all our asses to make sure nothing kills us, god only knows the last time she slept” he angrily says, “That's her fault. She had the opportunity to sleep. She had a duty to keep this group alive as well as everyone else and she didn’t do it”

“What the fuck did you just say?” Jungkook says walking over to Hoseok, “Hey! Stop it. Both of you. We need to go” Seokjin says “stop acting like a bunch of children. You guys are grown men. Hoseok, you don't give orders. Only Jimin. Jungkook you need to get your anger in control. And Y/N thank you for watching out for us but when we choose our locations we are safe. I promise. Jimin and Namjoon know what they're looking for. You just need to get what you need to get done and start sleeping, okay?” he says grabbing the car keys, “now let's get on the fucking road”

Jungkook glares at Hoseok as he grabs your hand walking out to the garage.

“Jungkook I can fight my own battles why did you do that?” you throw your hand from his, “I didn’t like hearing him talk to you like that and-”

“I don't care whether you like it or not. I should've done my duty and I didn't. I deserved the punishment”

“I said I want to protect you. That didn’t mean just physically. I want to protect you from everything that can give you any harm. Whether that's physical pain or not”

Looking up at him you sigh, “worry about yourself for a change” you walk past him and into the car, leaving him behind.

  “You getting in?” Namjoon asked getting Jungkook attention. He slowly jumps in, into the back seat away from everyone else.

 You felt bad saying that to him but you hated getting special treatment too. You can take care of yourself, you didn't need anyone else there holding your hand. Your mission is to find this utopia and finally get out of this hell hole, and maybe, just maybe, you'll have time for someone to protect you then. But right now, you can't, no, you don't want a relationship right now..

  Hours and hours worth of driving have passed by as you watch Jungkook in the rear mirror. You felt your heart lurking to the young boy. All you wanted was to stop the car and comfort him but you just couldnt.. Because what if something happens? What if you get too attached and you die, or worse, he does. You can't love someone right now. Even if you truly did love them already.

 “Watch out!!” you here Namjoon scream throwing you back into reality

Seeing atleast a dozen infected all around the truck you quickly speed up running two over to get passed them as you speed down the old dirt road. Behind you was the rest of the zombies and even more coming from the side of the roads start to chase the truck. “God damn these fuckers are fast”

“Faster!” Hoseok screams. “I’m already going 80, if I go any faster the tires will pop! Then well be screwed”

Jungkook grabs out his gun as he sticks half his body out the window. Pointing his gun at the zombies he knocks down one.

“There's at least 20 zombies on our trail, does anyone have a grenade?” Jungkook ask

“We used our last one a few days ago” Taehyung explains.

“Here's what we need to do, they know were in the truck so let's slow down enough to get them onto the truck, then we speed up as much as we can and then when I say go we jump out of the truck and have them slam into those boulders over there deal?” says Jimin

“But we need this to travel! We can’t travel on foot?” you scream to Jimin

“Any better ideas?” Yoongi ask

You look over at Jungkook already seeing him look at you.

Sighing in defeat you start slowing down.

“Are they all on?” Jimin ask

“Majority of them yeah”

“Should we wait alittle longer?” Tae ask

“No time! Start going faster!”

“1..2..3.. GO”

Everyone but you jumps out of the truck.

“Y/N Jump out!!” everyone screams.

All they could see was the truck crashing and going up in flames as the zombies became engulfed  in fire. The screeching of zombies and the smell of burning flesh filled the air.

Jungkook launches himself towards the burning truck only to be held down by Taehyung and Yoongi.

“Y/N!!!” he screams over and over again

“Y/N!!!”  crying, he screams even more, as he frees himself from the two boys holding him down.

He slowly runs to the truck only to fall to his knees, crying and screaming your name.

 Hours have passed since the explosion. Jungkook still sat there in the same spot. His knees up to his chest with his head covered with a hoodie, he sits there. Waiting for you to suddenly appear.

 “Jungkook, let's go find someplace to stay for tonight” Seokjin says only to be ignored by the grieving boy.

After a few minutes Jungkook stands up, walking towards the burned down truck.

 “Jungkook…” Hoseok says, Yoongi putting his hand on his shoulder in a way to tell him to leave him alone.

 Stepping over the dead bodies surrounding the truck he tears off parts of the truck to get inside it.

Looking for you he finds nothing.

“Y/N?” he questions where you would be.

Jimin walks over to Jungkook to pull him out only to hear, “She's not here”

 “She's not here?” he repeats, “how can she not be here?”

Jungkook walks away leaving Jimin alone to search.

 “She's still alive..” Jungkook says as he looks up to the night sky, “where are you..”

#jungkook #BTS jungkook #jeon jungguk #jungkook scenarios #jungkook bts #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jimin #namjoon #seokjin #hoseok #yoongi #taehyung #survive #bts #bts scenarios #bangtan #bangtan scenarios #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan boys #jimin scenario #namjoon scenario #seokjin scenarios #hoseok scenarios #yoongi scenarios #taehyung scenarios

[kendrixtermina]

I had another dream with my father in it

I haven’t had one in MONTHS WTF I thought I was over it

So thing I is I used to get these dreams where my father humiliates me, be it by yelling or by telling lies to my family members. Like I always had these various dreams where he would just turn everybody against me.

There were a few times in my teens where I got home & everyone acted angry with me for no reason & then turns out he’d accused me of some exxagerated or made-up offense, everything I did or said would be twisted into a personal insult he was donald trump levels of a petty toddler I tell ya. I’d be sad & angry because of his constant insults (and just don’t have a socially perceptive personality like, fuck you this is my normal face!) & then he’d be deathly insulted that I didn’t smile at or greet him & throw a big tantrum that affected the whole family.

He was the sort who would explode at us children to get back at my mom, & would be cruel to my mom & siblings when he was angry at me. 

ARGH I was supposed to see my councellor yesterday but he had to bail (presumably got sick or something) & now I really wish I could talk to him

The sad thing is it wasn’t even most of the dream and the rest of it was actually pretty cool. 

 I was driving home in a videogameih formular one car that also flew & there were also some flying boats and it was surprisingly fun like I’d hit a pedal and fly. I don’t remember the event I was driving home from but it was evidently cool as I remember texting my family about how cool it was  but it was not the usual whatsApp it had a purple background & a different system of colorful nametags with ‘@’s.. pretty much functionally whats App though.Possibly a concert I just knew I traveled far.

On the way, I stopped near a church/castle being and looked down a cliff, and there was this mountain with church like carvings & I wasn’t sure which side is up but you could see this wall or ground full of buildings & carvings all in gothic style like some really cool trippy stuff /“Giant Building” thing like my bes dreams sometimes have and I basically looked at it & was impressed.

On the way home, I considered contining to watch this show I’d been watching with my BF or doing so the next day (I actually may do that tomorrow, great idea dream self) and there were some themed mythical-ish visuals related & then I reached our bed (somehow a mix of our current bed and my old one at my mom’s attic) So far the dream was emotionally neutral or even fun/cool. 

Then, I hear the door open, assuming it’s my BF buz it’s actually my parents, with my mom feebly trying to get him not to rage & he’s his usually angry redfaced gorilla self. He just barges in as if it’s my teenage room jut the same casual disregard four boundaries or privacy as ever just flauntingly invading my space with a loud slam of the door, & when I ask what he’s doing here he shoves a phone into my face and going “How dare you text everybody except me!”, like one of his usual petty things where he’d contruct lack of overt enthusiasm into me “insulting/snubbing” him & throw a toddler tantrum over it / told exaggerated lies to my folks, & he was just yelling & raging & insulting & shaming me like he usually does... and that was enough of a shock to wake me up like I realize it doesn’t sound like much but in the dream it was somewhat chilling. 

Like when you look at it with a sober waking mind its really silly,  man coming into my & my boyfriends’s flat to complain at me, it’s not objectively scary, but it threw me or a loop like, when some setback happens I guess I sometimes get this thought where I wonder if I’ve really improved at all or if I wouln’t have been better off staying in my mother’s attick where I can’t screw anything up.... I mean even now I can tell how I don’t even think like that anymore in day to day life. 

Maybe it’s for a harmless reason, like Church/Old Castles reminding me of Hospitals (He’s a surgeon) & then I got the thought that someone was gonna see him & tell me where I was. Maybe my consciousness just stumbled into an old unrenovated brain loop & now I feel like I might fall back into doubting everything again

Or maybe because my bae and I were discussing a shitty manipulative friend of his that gor herself in trouble & we were discussing how to damage control without being caught up in the falout & her behaviors were like ugh... & she said some things that were brazenly arrogant maybe that reminded me of my father. He’s very aware that shes got a bad character but being a good & conscientious person he wants to help her, but I kinda feel she’s not really interested in changing & just taking advantage of his sense of responsibility...

UGH. I need to do my meditation, that’s what I need. I took this nap because I tried earlier & was too tired & now this happened. Like it’s not like im seriously upset but its just enough of a little spiky pebble in my mood. Why is that bastard still lurking in my subconscious or whatever I want him out of there. It’s like he’s lurking there like some bizarre anti-policeman,  “no hapiness allowed, don’t you dare be happy or else if there’s any unauthorized happiness in your life I will hurt you & take away everything you like”. Like he literally said many times that I was ruining his lie & not allowed to have anything I like. Like, it hurts. Its hurts damnit, and I haven’t even spoken to the bastard in years... 

I don’t know what this is trying to tell me. I have indeed never texted him or otherwise communicated with him & its been great like, without him to triangulate everything I get much more enjoyment out of my mom & siblings like we actually get along better since I moved out. Dear subconscious f you have any guilt about that you better stop because it doesn’t remotely logic. I deserve good things as much as the next person thank you very much! UGH stay out of my naps bastard. 

UGH now that the shit is vented lets consult some relaxing youtube music to purge it, how about 20 minutes of  “ultimate chillout”? 

#feelings #dreams #abusive parents #abusive father #verbal abuse #emotional abuse

[streetwisehercules]

NOT a ghost AU

streetwisehercules:

     So

     Inspired by the sexiest haunted hotel thing you sent me I have had an idea

@hereticgods:

     Yeeess

streetwisehercules:

     Ok so

     This is not a ghost au really so keep that in mind as I send you a barrage of texts

     AU where viktor is a minor television celebrity and ghost enthusiast who stars in a television show similar to ghost adventures with Chris/yurio/mila/maybe georgi

     Except instead of trying to start fights with the ghosts (which is pretty much all they do on ghost adventures), viktor gets really into researching them - they go to local libraries and government record houses, talk to locals about Ghost Stories and Town History etc

hereticgods:

     Ok awesome so far

streetwisehercules:

     And then after they've researched they kind of go into the haunted location and set up all their equipment and just sort of chat with the ghost

     It's like the Bob Ross of ghost shows

     Every episode you watch warms your heart because you learn a story of a town, always told with a great deal of care

     (But viktor is also RIDICULOUS on the show - like he absolutely believes in ghosts. He buys every piece of ghost memorabilia EVER. He will detail filming to go see a street tarot reader and ooh and ahh over the reading)

     So chris at one point makes a Joke. It is meant to be light hearted, but viktor is Extra about the things he loves and he LOVES the occult, so.

hereticgods:

     Omg ok

streetwisehercules:

     The joke is: "If you love ghosts so much, why don't you sleep with one?"

hereticgods:

     Gasp

streetwisehercules:

     Now viktor is like "well we can't really film that but i do have a vacation coming up so thanks for the great idea!!"

     (I can't decide if they have got Definite Proof that ghosts exist before - maybe not even on camera, but have they seen like a full bodied ghost? Unsure!)

     So viktor goes to Japan for his vacation and stays at the Haunted Hasetsu Onsen (as it is affectionately known on small online ghost forums)

     Apparently it is Quite Old and some say there is a full bodied ghost lurking around! If viktor is going to sleep with a ghost it shan't be a mere will-o-the-wisp or orb! Only the best!

hereticgods:

     Omg

     Is yuuri a ghost?? Noo

streetwisehercules:

     It is worth noting that all reports of this "ghost" come from foreigners and tourists. No local has corroborated this story, but the few of them who are from Hasetsu and on the ghost forums tend to laugh

     REMEMBER! It's not a ghost au. This is important

     So anyways viktor goes to the onsen and like, he's on vacation but he's a workaholic and so he pretty much starts talking to everyone about the history of Hasetsu and the Onsen, etc.

     Maybe one night while returning from an evening stroll he sees a distant, vague figure dancing in the onsen gardens. It disappears as soon as he gets close

     But the dancing could only be described as OTHERWORLDLY! Viktor is on the right track

     He can't check any records or anything and his interviews are a bit shoddy bc he doesn't speak Japanese btw

hereticgods:

     Oh viktor

streetwisehercules:

     Anyways one night he is up drinking with Minako chatting and he goes to bed late, and in the hallway he sees a figure!!! Skulking gracefully! He seems to stare right through viktor, as if seeing another world!! His eyes are ethereal, glittering in the moonlight!!! His skin gilded in silver!

     He bumps into viktor and mutters "excuse me"!! This is the first time viktor meets the ghost

     He camps out in the hallway CASUALLY at the same time the next night and sees him again! In the same outfit! So obviously a ghost - and besides viktor has never seen a living person with such an elusive magnetic quality to their aura, with such beautiful eyes. Must be a ghost.

     Anyways they actually get to talking and the ghost is very shy! As most ghosts are! Viktor is surprised and delighted to find that he ghost is solid to the touch, and also that when viktor touches his arm he blushes beautiful and viktors face warms as well.

     Viktor only sees him late at night, and he seems very fragile around the edges, almost tired. Probably from keeping up a physical form!

hereticgods:

     Oh my god

     Viktor !!!

streetwisehercules:

     "You seem tired," Viktor says.

"It's worth it to see you, Viktor" the ghost, Yuuri, says.

"Please," Viktor chokes out, face burning, "call me Vitya."

     Anyways viktor sees yuuri dance (ethereal), learns he was taught by minako, and has a conversation with minako in which minako is under the impression that viktor is not an idiot, and viktor is under the impression that yuuri is a ghost.

     Minako gives him a narrow look. "The last time," she says, "that Yuuri's heart was broken, he disappeared for a month. [classic ghost, viktor thinks] So if he gives you his heart, I expect you to take care of it."

Yes, viktor thinks. Yes I would do nothing less. I will hold his heart and keep it close to my chest and they can beat together forever.

     And then eventually they kiss and viktor is OVER THE MOON!!!

     UNTIL

     he realizes that he is fucking falling for a ghost who can never leave the place he died.

hereticgods:

     Oh my god

     Wow

     How could viktor be so dumb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     Love the convo with minako

streetwisehercules:

     Anyways eventually viktor stops beating around the bush and is like "I can't take your heart yuuri because I have to leave and you couldn't follow and it would kill me, too."

Yuuri: i could come with you, you know. Maybe not right away, we could do the long distance thing for a bit.

Viktor: OH YUURI, how can you follow me when you're DEAD?

(This would sound like a threat except that viktor is lying on his bed like a fainted Victorian lady wearing an 'ECTOPLASM ROCKS' tshirt)

Yuuri: what the fuck are you talking about

     Yeah I'm realizing in writing this that he is super dumb. That's ok because it's a comedy and not heavy angst

     Anyways they have a talk about what an Idiot Viktor is, and viktor probably bursts into tears and yuuri is like "are you upset you didn't get to sleep with a ghost?" And viktors like "n-no im just so HAPPY!!!!"

     (Yuuri is gone most of the day dancing/idk what else, and he's just shy with guests and foreigners and keeps to his room and the family quarters btw)

     Viktor thought that yuuri wouldn't let him in his room bc it wasn't really his room but a storage closet or something and the gig would be up, but in fact the reason that he didn't is because he has a giant poster of viktor’s show, with viktor shirtless in a fringed black leather vest on his wall

     And then they live happily ever after

hereticgods:

     Omg my god

     Wow

     That's adorable?!!!

     Viktor is really dumb tho

     But it's ok bc yuuri loves him

     I love that yuuri has a giant poster of him

     So why the rumors about the onsen being haunted?

streetwisehercules:

     Well it all started when yuuri came home covered in glow paint from a dance show

     And then it spiraled from there. And like I said he avoids the non-local guests and sometimes he gets so nervous that he just ignores them if they say "hi" or something

     Which then attracted more Ghost Hunters type ppl, who interpret everything as a Sign of Ghost

     In viktors defense they have a LOT of convos that could be taken either way

     Timeline is probably about a month

     Viktor leaves and cries on the plane and wants to call yuuri as soon as he lands but doesn't want to be clingy, but then yuuri texts him like "I know you're probably super busy, but could you text/call me when you land? I miss you." And viktor DIES

hereticgods:

     Awwwwwww

     💗💗

streetwisehercules:

     They flirt with ghost innuendos and send each other lots of good luck charms

     When they move in together their place is full of like....spooky goth/tourist occult things

hereticgods:

     That's adorable

     Yuuri is a big ghost fan too right?

streetwisehercules:

     Yes!

     Viktor takes him along on shoots and yuuri LOVES IT SO MUCH

     they go to dates on ghost tours!

     And hold hands and ooh and ahh when one of them gets a picture of an orb

hereticgods:

     I love it

streetwisehercules:

     I wanna say yuuri is a dancer? And viktor is a huge fan of his as well

     Maybe a hobbyist dancer? Like he taught classes in hasetsu

     And he ends up mostly working on the show with viktor and teaching/taking some classes on the side

     He has a show and he does it to like a song about ghosts and dresses up a bit as a ghost and viktor records it and you can hear him crying in the background

hereticgods:

     Oh my god

     This is really cute

     I feel like you're projecting a little bit

streetwisehercules:

     OK WOW

     Call me out like this!!!!

     As I sit in bed watching lip swatch videos! I thought I was safe! From this kind of attack!!

#herctxt #yoi fic #my stuff #i need a Mood Board for viktor's zack bagans inspired fashions

[freerebelmentality]

For the love of music pt2

AN: Well here is the second part of the some what crossover 

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Word Count: 2,113

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Once the garage is empty is when Chibs got the keys from Gemma’s office and opened the trunk. He sees nothing in there other then a spare tire and the tools to change the tire and other things for the car. Until he saw something, it was very well hidden but he knew how a slight opening looked like for a hidden compartment. He lifted the hidden door and unveiled an arsenal. Very well organized. From sawed off shot guns, flasks, ammunition, knives, one weird looking knife that had teeth for blades, along with another that had some weird engravings on them to hand guns and even rock salt.

“What the fuck is this shite” He asks looking at the rock salt.

He sees a box and takes it into his hands and looks in there. Its a box containing fake ID’s, badges, licenses and fake name tags that involved all sorts of law enforcement rankings. He noticed three particular ones, one was bloody, the others were bloody as well but at the corners were melted a little bit. Still able to read the name and rank.

He closes the trunk, locks the car and places the keys back in Gemma’s office. He closes the garage and locks up as well. He walks into the club house and into his dorm. He doesnt bother with the drinks and crow eaters. He goes directly to his room and lays on his bed while he looks to the ceiling wondering why you have a packed trunk and a hidden past. A sad one.

A week has gone by and you got a call from the garage that your car is ready for pick up. You wish it was Chibs who would call but it was a woman. Your heart sank when it wasnt him but you brushed the feeling a side and asked your friend once more if she would drive you to the auto shop. Your friend picks you up in a matter of minutes and drops you off.

“Im here to pick up a Chevy Impala for Winchester” You knock and give the lady the model and your last name.

“Here you go sweet heart. Sign here and here. This is your total” The lady says with a friendly tone and gives you your keys and an invoice.

“Is cash ok?” You ask after signing

“Yeah thats fine” She replies and takes the cash from you.

“A lot of the guys are going to miss that car” The lady says while looking out the window and sees a few of the guys gathered around the car and loving the sight of baby,

“Gemma” She introduces herself looking to you.

“Y/n” You tell her and smile while looking away from her and to baby.

You walk out of the office and seeing baby being parked in the parking lot put a smile on your face.

“Hey sweet heart, miss me?” You ask while thinking of Dean.

“A woman talking to her car. In my books that is fucking sexy as hell. What you name her?” Kozik asks as he walks out of the garage.

“Baby. My brother named her. Uh late brother” You reply with a fake smile. You knew he saw past it.

“Car is mint. Sorry about your brother. Well it was nice seeing ya and hope to see you more often. Have a good day” Kozik says as he gets into the truck, most likely to make a pick up.

“Yeah, you to and see what happens” You smile to him as you watch him get into the truck and drive away from the garage.

How much you missed your older brother, well brothers in general. You looked around and in hopes you would see Chibs but no where in sight. You saw a couple of bikes lined up and you decided to head into the club house to see if he was in there. You saw familiar faces and smiled at them

“Is Filip around?” You ask Bobby in hopes he will be around

“No, he is out for the day and wont be back till late tonight. If you want I can tell him you are looking for him” He replies looking to you.

“No thats fine” You tell him and give him a small wave and walked out.

“Well you want to have a drink with me?” Bobby asks while you look to the bar and the guy with the tribal tattoos looks as though he doesnt like you much. You didnt care though.

“Sure, Im liking the free drinks” You smile to Bobby as he smiles as well and leads you to the bar.

Juice gets up from his stool and walks out of the club. You smile amongst yourself. Bobby reminded you about well Bobby.

“Christo” You say for old times sake as Juice walks away. But no reaction what so ever.

“Dont mind him, he doesnt trust you” Bobby says while Happy comes into the club house and he nods to you.

��Im sensing he doesnt say much does he?” You ask while smiling to him as he passes the both of you.

“Only when he needs to” He replies while taking a sip from his beer and pulls a joint from his pocket and lights it up.

“Yeah, I get like that too. When my brothers and I would travel a lot for work and we would meet new people. I wouldnt be so trusting of them because well you know how people can be” You tell him while remembering Gordon Walker.

“What line of work did you do to travel?” He asks in hopes you will answer him or give him any info about you.

“Extermination, family business. Well I better get going. I dont want to show up to work drunk and getting fired” You tell him and get up from your seat.

“It was nice seeing ya and hope to see you around more often” Bobby says as he walks you out the door. For the hell of it you linked arms with him as he opens the door to your car for you.

“Thanks Bobby, see you around” You tell him and start the car. You loved how she roared to life. The same love Dean had.

Juice looked up the word Christo and what he got was a Latin translation to Christ. He couldnt figure out why you would say that as he walked away from you and Bobby.

Clay came walking into the club house and saw Bobby sitting by himself at the bar like as if he was thinking long and hard about something.

“Did I just see a 1967 Chevy Impala leave the lot?” He asks breaking the silence.

“Yeah, that car would belong to a Y/n Winchester. Chibs has a thing for her and he worked on her car” Bobby says looking to his President.

“Winchester?” He asks while Bobby nods.

“You know a Winchester?” Bobby asks thinking he would have better info

“I did, John is his name. Met him back in Nam, we served together” He says while thinking back to the first time he met John. They were in the same platoon and soon after John was placed with the Marines.

“John is or was her father” Bobby tells him while Clay looks to him quickly

“You mean the guy is dead?” He asks in disbelief

“Yeah, Juice looked in on her and thats what turned up about her family in the records” Bobby tells him what Juice did because of his trust issues. He head is in the right place though.

“Jesus Christ, how?” He asks in hopes that he will know a little more about Johns passing.

“A horrific car accident that he was in along with his two older sons and y/n. She walked away with minimal injuries though. She is lucky” Bobby tells him while Clay couldnt believe John has passed already.

The last time Clay had seen him was a few years ago when they bumped into each other at a gas station. He was coming from Stanford, a visit he had with his son and Clay remembered how proud he was for him. He didnt mention any names about his kids but thats how he remembered him last. How happy and proud he was.

“I hope she comes around again. I want to give her my condolences. Is Mary alive? Or she pass too?” He asks remembering John mentioned a girlfriend named Mary all those years ago and how he said he was going to propose when he got back home.

“Unfortunately she passed as well. House fire” Bobby tells him while feeling incredibly bad for you. Family gone, he knew it wasnt easy for you. Bobby could still see the pain on your face when you would bring up family or your brothers.

“Shit. Thats some tragic shit” Clay says while his hand rubs his face.

“Sure is. She will have Chibs though, he is really invested in this chick” Bobby says while looking from Clay.

“Well better him than anyone one else. John would have been pissed but he would eventually accept him though” Clay says and they both get other things done with the businesses that needed to get organized.

You got in the car, baby roared to life and you love how she sounds. You drove out of the parking lot and drove to work. When the work day ended is when you went home, got into the shower to wash off the stress from the day and wanted to relax. When you got dressed into your comfy clothes is when you went into your music/library room to continue reading the book you wanted to finish.

You selected a vinyl record by Schubert, you pulled the vinyl from the cover and placed it on the turn table and placed the needle. Once the music filled the room is when you went to sit in your chair, got comfy and took the book while turning to the page you left off. You read for hours while placing another vinyl in by Chopin.

Chibs finally arrived back to the club house with Jax and Tig. He walks in and sees Bobby who waves him over.

“Y/n came by earlier and she was looking for you” He says while looking to him

“Shite, forgot she was coming by to pick up her car” He says and walks out again. He knew your address and wanted to see you.

When he pulled into your drive way and seeing the gorgeous car parked is when he had a smile on his face. He walked up to the door and heard faint classical music. He rings the door bell in hopes you would hear it but nothing. He turns the door knob and its unlocked. He walks in and follows the music. Once he stops in front of the door way is when he saw you sitting in your chair reading and enjoying the music you have selected.

He saw how incredibly beautiful you are, elegant and graceful. Yet he notices that you have seen nightmares that lurk in the dark, he sees them when he looks into your eyes. When Chibs went to Tacoma is when he met up with an old hunter who is now part of SAMCRO and they chatted for a long period of time and why he came back so late. He told him the things he used to hunt, how your brothers are complete legends for closing the gates of hell and sadly dying to save the world.

“Just beautiful” Is all he says to break the silence

You startled at the sound of someone else in the house, you look away from your book and see Chibs leaning against the door frame with a smile.

“You scared me” You say while closing your book

“Sorry, I rang the bell a few times but ye didnt answer” He says as he steps further into the room and takes the arm chair next to yours.

“Oh, sorry about that. Music is blaring and I was really into my book” You tell him and sit back down.

“Bobby told me ye came looking for me at the club” He says while looking around the room.

You have wall to wall shelves from ceiling to floor. All filled with books and vinyls you have collected over the years. You even have the folk lore books from over the years as well, the ones Sam owned are also placed on the shelves. You look to them and smile about the countless of memories reading through them.

#chibs #reader insert #jax teller #juice #happy #bobby #tig #clay morrow #gemma teller morrow #kozik #sons of anarchy #soa fic #sons of anarchy fic #filip telford #juan carlos ortiz #happy lowman #bobby munson #alex trager #filip chibs telford #juan carlos juice ortiz #bobby elvis #alex tig trager #cross over ish #supernatural #mentions #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #mary winchester #bobby singer

[julucid]

Jan 2 ' 18 / N21 / friend

its winter and theres a fuck ton of snow outside---im talking ski resort type of hills right on your doorsteps and they're pretty steep and high but somehow the people managed to clean up the streets and driveway enough for the cars to pass by. pretty much all of the neighborhood were playing around with their makeshift sleds and i was going rounds on my own---using a garbage can lid, even though the street was busy. the cars were driving so fast while the ground was still filled with wet muck and slush. at some point i thought the dream would end with me getting side-swept by one. the cars would just either swerve really dangerously or fly by, barely scraping the people fucking around. they always seemed to miss us like we repelled them like magnets. there was an impressive sized hill right next ours and this dude with a santa hat had a fancy sled; decorated festively---red and green paintjob, golden bells, plastic poinsettias, scattered evergreen leaves, chopped-up branches, and glitter all over it. he rode the steep-ass hill and flew up so far that he ended up on top of the neighbor's roof and everyone clapped and cheered for him. i was gonna ask if i could ride his sled once when i noticed that my friend (idk her irl but i felt strongly close to her) was missing. she was just sleding toward's a neighbor's driveway a few moments before and i didnt pay attention to what she was doing after that. i crossed over to the other side of the street and i didnt realize the whole scene has changed.

im no longer in a brooklyn neighborhood, but somehow in the middle of the city. its a little dark but not after sundown---maybe overcast weather. its no longer winter but early summer. im in a parking lot, and it smells a little like sewer steam and burnes tires. the lot was emptied out to make space for these panels. i dont know what they were there for but i guessed they were there to convert people to another religion. there were lots of people standing around just chilling with their friends and some were going up to the tables to listen to the panel speakers.

i felt a blue handball hit my thigh and snatched it in the air after it bounced. people in the crowd where playing catch and trying to keep the ball from falling as long as possible. some of the faces were familiar to me as if i knew them, but none of them had any names. the goal of the game was for half the people to stay rooted in their spots and wait for the ball to come their way and catch it while the other half is lurking around the crowd using people's bodies as their masks waiting for a ball to reach someone and steal the catch from them. if you looked at the crowd in the distance, the ball moves at fucking lightspeed and all you can see is a soft blur of blue looping and arching over people. sometimes people got hit by the ball and end up pulverized then another stranger pops out, out of nowhere in their spot to keep the crowd as dense as possible. i played a couple of rounds with them being scared as shit not knowing whether i should catch that tiny ball of death or not.

i only remembered i was there to find my friend when i saw her walking around dazed and wide eyed like she was lost. i wanted to call out to her but i didnt even know her name. she sat in a plastic chair in one of the panels and the guy next to her glanced at her and rubbed her back while he kept talking to the people. i never heard what they were saying the whole time i was there. the parking lot was quiet except for the sound of shoes shifting lazily. it was as if you could only hear what they were saying if you decided to be a follower of the religion---or hoodwinked. i grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the table. the guy only looked at me for a moment then looked at the other people in the panel. they had blank expressions and didnt move to do anything as if they didnt care. i tried to talk to my friend but she wouldnt respond and she continued to stare at nothing. if i looked her right in the eyes, she didnt see me---like she was drugged. she looked so fragile and small that i fucking lost it then and went over to the guy that was touching her. i grabbed him by the collar to lift him up enough for me to punch the shit out of his dull face. my arm felt weird as if it was made out of wood and i couldnt control it as well as i wanted. the punches felt strong as i willed them to land but his face seemed to take forever before it even started bleeding. he didnt make a sound but just smiled at me. i wanted to stay there until i turned it to a pulp but the dream warped and i was in another place now.

the season changed again and it's late fall. leaves have already fallen. im in someone's back yard, but its waaaay too big too be a random suburban home. it seems like they were at the edge of a forrest, but i couldnt see the trees or the house even though i felt them. it was longer than it is wide---if you walked the whole thing from one end to the other, it would take weeks to finish. the whole perimeter was surrounded by a 10 feet white picket fence like there was no in and out. there were wooden structures inside. they look like super low tree houses or just random walls set up like a paint ball range. some were complicated and endless like a maze. i was alone and i still felt like i was there to get my friend back. i forgot alot of things that happened in that area because i was trying to go through the length and figure out what the fuck i was supposed to do there. towards the end i was running away from these men in black that i could barely see. it was only an or two hour after noon but they moved like shadows in the dark. they had katanas in their hands and for some reason i kept getting flashes of their weapons in my head. i kept running and didnt trip up but every few seconds i would see them in great detail and so close that the edge was seemed to cut the air i breathed. the sword was weirdly fat though, not like the normal flat sword. i mostly saw just their katanas and felt like i was being chased around by flying weapons. then the visions stopped and i all i saw was the never ending length i still had to run in front of me. my legs felt like they were shrinking and turning to dust. i started slowing down and my sight of line started sinking, i didnt look down but i knew that my body was turning into red and golden leaves among the others. i suddenly closed my eyes cause i felt like there was nothing left for me to see and one of the guys chasing me cut his katana through my shoulder and aimed low for my heart. i felt it go right out of my chest and my heart felt full.

the dream led me to the last scene. its early winter. im in a quiet neighborhood away from the city. the streets were high sloping hills that turned and twisted like a roller coaster but only going down and down. it was raining hard and i was with my friend now. we didnt talk but she was laughing. i just watched her as she did a running start and slid down the slope by having one foot in front of the other. she didnt fall but she just kept going faster. she was screaming and laughing out loud, her voice was echoing through the houses. i wondered why the neighbors werent peaking out their windows. i wanted to follow after her but I hesitated---until a giant wave of water started crashing by a street corner like a flushed toilet. i looked back down to my friend, she was still sliding and she was far away now, looking as small as toy. i started sliding down the street too and i somehow ended up sliding side by side her. she locked arms with me and the rain fell down even harder that i couldnt even make out her face clearly. i looked back and the waves were still near the top so i stopped worrying about it. it felt like we were never gonna stop sliding down though so my heart kept pumping with adrenalin. i closed my eyes and just layed my head on her shoulder. my body was light and i felt like i was flying through a storm.

i woke up with my hands frozen and my body shivering under the blankets.

#dream log