#i got good grades until i was like 13 n started to lose my mind but everyone was mean to me bc i acted all fucked up n weird

[newfeeling77]

i was thinking the other day about my middle school experience and i remember getting an award for having the highest scores in science in my grade and im not that great with anything that isnt reading/writing or art so it was odd. but i think its all because from what i remember i really liked the teacher n she never had the lights on in that classroom she only used the natural light from the window so it was always a little dark in there and i never got overstimulated by the horrible overhead lighting. so i think i was just really focused for once. my therapist also keeps her office extremely dark and i function so well

#i have a small breakdown every day at school bc theres too many bright lights lol #every day i think about what would my life be like if my mother had listened to the doctor that said i might be autistic when i was like 4 #and not talking and not playing ‘normally’ and not walking correctly you know #but she didnt so i had to wait until i was 16 to find out i likely have a developmental disorder and im not in fact a complete moron #school wouldve been so much easier if i was aware that i need to ignore every instinct i have… #i got good grades until i was like 13 n started to lose my mind but everyone was mean to me bc i acted all fucked up n weird

[mammonshuman92]

- Homecoming -

(Keishin x F! Reader)

Genre: Angst to fluff

TW: none

The past is a fickle thing.

Sometimes memories of days long gone are wonderful. Bringing a certain warmth to your heart. Filling you with a sense of peace and even love.

And sometimes, those memories are anything but that.

They claw their way to the surface, from the pit you tried so hard to bury them in. Wreaking havoc the whole way, pulling at your heart strings and playing games with your mind.

But for him, those memories are both.

The same ones he wants to bury, that give him nightmares at least once a week, are the same memories he holds closest to his heart, never wanting to forget a single detail.

It's been years, but the memories of you excite him and fill him with warmth, just as much as they tear him apart. Leaving him feeling empty.

It's almost as if he mourns your death, although you're very much alive. With how abruptly everything happened, and how quickly you had to leave, he sort of does mourn for you.

But, life goes on right?

He works at the shop, helping his mom. He coaches the volleyball team now. And he plays with the Karasuno Neighborhood Association team, too. He stays pretty busy most of the time.

Even still, you're there in his mind.

"You're... leaving?"

After you told him the news, he went blank. Time seemed to stop. He couldn't believe it.

You were moving back to America.

Your family moved to Japan the summer before fourth grade, after your father received an amazing job offer he couldn't refuse. When school began, Keishin was the first friend you made. After that, the two of you had always been inseparable.

School was set to start in just a few weeks, the two of you going into your first year of high school. Except now, he'd be attending the school you both wanted to go to by himself..

"Keishin?"

The sight of you, voice breaking, tears threatening to spill over, was almost more than he could take. He had to steel himself if he was going to make it through this.

"Hey, it's alright. Don't cry, okay? It's not like you're gonna be gone forever right? It's just temporary until your folks can get things settled in the US, then you'll be back." His voice was calm and soothing.

The company your father worked for was opening a new office in the US, and wanted him to lead the project. It was a big deal and a great opportunity for your family. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

You nodded and rubbed your eyes with your sleeve, sniffling. You quickly threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder.

He put his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him. He tried as hard as he could to memorize everything. The smell of your hair, the way you were embracing him. How the delicate gold necklace he gave you with his name on it looked against your beautiful skin; the way you fit perfectly in his arms. He wanted to remember everything.

Deep down he knew that this was it. You wouldn't be coming back.

He blinked a few times upon opening his eyes. He looked over at the clock on the night stand, the bright glow of the numbers read '2:13 am'.

He groaned and rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. This was the second time this week his last memory with you had awakened him. It's been years since that day, but it haunts him just the same.

"Get over yourself, idiot. She's probably married with kids now. Besides, she probably doesn't even remember you.." He whispered to himself sourly.

At the time, he didn't think that'd be one of the last times he'd ever talk to you. The time difference between Japan and the US is substantial, not to mention the charges. you were able to talk a couple times, but ended up losing contact. You were starting a whole new life and he was trying to pick up the pieces of his. He didn't push the issue either. More than anything, he just wanted you to be happy.

With a heavy sigh, he rolled onto his side, pulling the blankets over his head. Trying to think of something else. Anything else. It was always hard to fall back asleep after the memory of you invaded his mind.

-

"You look like shit."

Keishin looked up to see Takinoue Yūsuke, his friend and teammate, both former and current, standing on the other side of the counter, looking at him.

"Can I help you?" He asked, ignoring his friend's statement, continuing to read his newspaper.

"We still on for the scrimmage match tomorrow?"

The Neighborhood Association team was set to play against the Karasuno boys team, to help them get in as many practice matches as they could.

"Yep. Still going out for drinks afterward?" Keishin asked.

"Of course." Takinoue laughed slightly, then cleared his throat.

"It's been over a decade, man. It's still waking you up?" His friend asked quietly.

Keishin sighed and put the paper down. He picked up his pack of cigarettes and lit one, choosing to ignore his friend.

"I remember how bad it messed you up, when she left." He said quietly, glancing at his friend trying to gauge his reaction. You had always been a touchy subject, no matter how much time had passed.

Keishin stood up, got the broom and started sweeping. Anything to try and get away from the conversation, but Takinoue just followed him around the store.

"It's been so long, man. Have you thought about moving on?"

He was barely sixteen when you left. So, of course he'd dated other people. They could just never compare to you.

"I've dated." He replied, as he continued to sweep. He really didn't want to have this conversation right now. Or at all, for that matter.

"If you could call it that." Takinoue whispered to himself.

"Look, all I'm saying is try, ok? Or at least think about it?"

Keishin stopped sweeping and turned to look at his freind with a questioning look.

"Why the sudden interest in my love life?" He asked him.

"You mean the lack thereof?" The man teased, making Keishin roll his eyes.

"Your mom talked to my mom about how she's super worried that you"ll never get married and you're almost thirty, and my mom convinced me to talk to you."

"Hey! I have a few more years before I turn thirty!" Keishin shot back, causing his friend to laugh. That would be the part he was most concerned about.

"You don't have a girlfriend either." Keishin shot back.

"Yeah, but this isn't about me." He chuckled. "Well anyway, I'll tell her I talked to you. Think about it though?"

"Yeah, yeah." He agreed, waving his hand around.

After a few more minutes, Takinoue left, leaving Keishin alone with his thoughts again.

He wasn't really interested in dating, honestly. He'd pretty much given up on it. He didn't want to spend his life alone, but he was sure he wouldn't find anyone like you.

The two of you only got to date for a few months before you moved, but that's not what always kept him hung up on you.

You'd been best friends for such a long time. You grew up together. Hell, even your parents became friends. You knew everything about him, because you had practically been there for it all. You understood him better than anyone else ever could. He never really had to say much to you, or explain anything, you kind of just knew. Like you could read his mind. You never complained about always playing volleyball, and helped out at his family's store during summer vacation.

As sappy as it is, the two of you fit together like pieces of a puzzle. Filling in the spots the other was missing and working together to make the end picture beautiful.

There would never be anyone else like you for him, and he knew that.

After he graduated, there were so many times he thought of going to America, hoping that he'd be able to reconnect with you, but gave up on the idea. What if you didn't want to see him? What is you didn't even remember him? As amazing of a person as you were, he knew that you were living a good life, and were most likely seeing someone and he didn't want to intrude.

Keishin plopped down into the chair behind the counter, and lit another cigarette. It was almost time to head over to the high school for volleyball practice. He couldn't wait for something, anything, to take up his attention and stop the current depressing state of his thoughts.

-

It had been a couple weeks since his conversation that day with Takinoue, but he hadn't really given it much thought since then. He didn't have the time. The team was going to Tokyo soon, and they were getting in as much practice as they could. They had one more match set up with the Neighborhood Association team, before their trip. His busier than usual schedule was helping to keep him out of his own head, thankfully.

Before volleyball practice, he made a quick stop at the market to see Shimada, to talk about the upcoming match with the association team.

"Yeah, I'll for sure be there. I also want to get in at least one more practice session with Tadashi before you guys leave for Tokyo. He's making great progress."

"I can tell he's really improved." Keishin agreed.

"Oh, before I forget. I know you don't like talking about it, but I'm pretty sure I saw Y/N a few days ago." He said, carefully watching his friend, trying to gauge his reaction.

Hearing your name caused him to tense, a lump forming in his throat.

"It was probably someone that just looked like her." He finally managed to say.

"Hmm, maybe. But I was almost positive it was Y/N."

"It's been a long time. I'm sure she doesn't look exactly the same." Keishin said. How many times had he sworn he saw you in a crowd?

He quickly ended his conversation with Shimada and left. He didn't want to talk about it anymore.

He sighed to himself and made his way to practice.

As soon as he walked inside the gym, Tanaka and Nishinoya bombarded him with a string of questions.

"Who is she?"

"She's so pretty!"

"Why'd you keep her a secret, huh?!"

Keishin glared at the two boys. "What are you going on about now?"

"Your girlfriend! Why didn't you tell us about her?" Tanaka demanded.

"Yeah! She's like, an actual goddess. How did you land her??" Noya interrogated.

"What? I don't have a girlfriend." He explained.

The two boys tilted their heads to the side like a puupy.

"Oh. Well, there was a solid 12/10 here looking for you earlier." Tanaka explained.

"Huh?" Who could be looking for him?

"It was probably someone looking for information on how to make a donation to the team or something." He quickly explained, shutting the boys down.

Still, he couldn't shake this feeling he had.

-

The next morning at the store, as he was knelt down stocking shelves, the bell above the door chimed, alerting him of a customer. He called out his usual greeting, but the response he received all but stopped his heart.

"You're a hard man to find."

Is that..? It can't be.. He thought.

That voice.

It sounded like music. Sweet like honey.

His heart was racing, his hands getting clammy. He swallowed hard, and took a deep breath.

There's no way..

He stood up slowly and turned around. His eyes as big as saucers when they fell on you. Was he actually asleep right now, having the dream. This couldn't actually be happening..

You took a step forward and smiled. The same smile that was forever etched in his mind.

"Hi, Keishin. Long time no see."

"Y/N..?"

*PART TWO COMING SOON*

#hiakyuu #ukai keishin #keishin x y/n #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff

[mythiccheroacademia]

Hi!! I don’t know if you’re doing requests rn but can you do a scenario with Kirishima, midoriya, Bakugou and todoroki learning dance moves with their s/o?? (The woah, milly rock, driving the boat, etc.)

 GIRRLLLLLLL 

my first ask!!!! ayyeeeeee, what it do babyyyyy

k, i’m done but thank you sm for asking! and for future reference, i’m open for scenarios/imagines/anything lmao

i hope you like it! 

Characters: Kirishima, Midoryia, Bakugo, and Todorkoki

Warnings: a serious case of fucking it up (ass throwing as well??)

PG-13 

y’all, i couldn’t help myself hehe

A/N: the gag is, i was literally just turning up to my good sis Megan Thee Stallion and Rico Nasty so this should be fun

Kirishima Eijrou:

the best hype man and dont @ me on it

It was after hours and, outside of U.A., the night was quite peaceful, for the most part. Most were tucked in their bed, fast asleep, but some of the young future heroes of Japan were wide awake. That included you and Kirishima. 

You spent the night showing him some of your favorite Western music videos. He recognized some of the long-time globally famous ones like Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, and Rihanna (who you both had a crush on). You had tried showing him the moves to Single Ladies and Super Bass, but he couldn’t quite get. 

“C’monnn, just jut your hip out more,” he laughed.

Kirishima made a face before dramatically sticking his hind up. You punched his arm to which he broke out in laughter. 

“Ahh, I’m just hopeless,” he shrugged.

You rolled your eyes. “No, no! You got the shoot, but you have to know more. There’s gotta be something.”

“What about him?”

You looked at the video suggestion he motioned towards, and your brows shot up in excitement.

“DaBaby! Of course!”

“DaBaby?”

“I’m about to change your life.”

It only took one watch for Kirishima to pick up on the DaBaby shoulder, BOP dance, and fist pound. He was a natural and went hard on it. 

*and his muscles looked real nice all flexed like that but that’s besides the point~* 

You two spent the late hours running through all his Albums and EPs, dancing and hyping one another up. It was so fun that you two ended up having to take a shower because of how sweaty y’all were. 

The fist to thigh pound was now you two’s celebratory dance each time one of you made an accomplishment.

You both passed a test?

DaBaby.

Won a team competition?

DaBaby.

Made it through a battle alive?

DaBaby.

Midoryia Izuku:

i’m sorry but it’s like cannon this boi cant dance, but bless his heart, he really tries

You should’ve just sat down and ate your food, but, of course, you didn’t care about priorities when it came to tiktok. (just bear with me y’all)

It was an unhealthy obsession you wouldn’t admit to. You spent hours on it. Ochako had gotten you hooked on after she kept sending you tiktok dances to learn with the girls. It was fun though, especially since dancing was something you loved to do. You still kept up with your grades, so there wasn’t much harm in it.

But then, you made a mistake.

You were eating lunch with your boyfriend and watching a tiktok Momo had sent in your groupchat. The two girls in the video were dancing before they hit the woah on the beat drop. 

Izuku heard the music and looked over at what you were watching. 

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s these two girls dancing. They’re really good!”

You showed him the video and it was like he’s found his life’s purpose.

“W-what was that? At the end!?” 

“Uhh, it’s called the woah?”

“Do you know how to do it?”

“Yeah–”

“Teach me!”

So you spent the lunch period teaching him the move. It wasn’t very complicated, but you found that he had no sense of rhythm and flow. It took a couple YouTube tutorials and then some for him to decently grasp the concept. When lunch was over, he kissed and hugged you like you were his savior.

“Thank you for showing me! I must show the others!”

You were so confused.

But you didn’t know you created a monster.

That is ALL this man does now!

You’ll see him in the mornings. “Hey Izuku!”

“Hey y/n!” 

Hits the woah.

He answers a question correctly?

Hits the woah.

He answers a question incorrectly?

Hits the woah.

Beats Bakugo in a competiton.

Hits the woah.

Bakugo did not appreciate that. 

He downloaded tiktok and 80% of the videos are of him and/or someone else hitting the woah.

All Might has asked you if your boyfriend is going through something. You just pinch your nose. 

Bakugo Katsuki:

won’t outwardly admit to knowing how to dance, but when the time comes, he’s ready for anything

also! i’m inlcuding african moves in this one, hope you dont mind

Sometimes, when you two aren’t doing anything in particular, you’ll try and teach him some moves. He’ll usually sneer about not wanting to learn and how dumb it was. You fake cry and he begrudgingly does it (bc when you cry he panics)

There are multiple snapchat videos of you putting on Shatte Wale or EL (Lomi) and you two doing the shaku shaku or azonto. You were surprised when he picked up other moves like dougie, lean back, and jerkin. 

The music was blasting in his room and you two were following the Walk It Out music video, dancing, copying what you could and just having fun with one another. At first, Bakugo was a bit stiff, embarrassed that he was even indulging in something like this, but he saw the happy look on your face and set a tiny bit of his pride aside.

Plus, you were actually kinda good and he wasn’t gonna let you show him up on something he knew he was good at. 

“Ayyee, okay Bakugo! You kinda lit!” you cheered.

The genuine praise made him blush. “I don’t know what you thought this was, but of course I can dance, idiot!” he exclaimed, trying to fight his sudden embarrassment with how into it he was getting. 

You laughed at him and he was about to cuss you out until you gasped.

Suddenly, your favorite song by Saweetie came on and your face fell into all seriousness as you broke out in dance. He sputtered when you sensually moved your body over to him, taking his hand and turning so your body so your back was to him. 

“Well if you’re so good, why don’t you prove it,” you challenged. 

He was confused until you circled your hips and he automatically followed your lead. Bakugo’s prior bashfulness left him and a proud grin spread across his lips, eyes half-lidded with desire. 

“Oh, bet.”

You bent forwards, hands on your knees as you threw it back on him–and he caught it just fine. This was his kind of dancing. He was a beast in clubs. (ofc you’re 18+). 

It wasn’t like it was anything new to him. You two have had many many opportunities to practice. 

When “Red Nose” came on, it was over. 

Well, the dancing was over~

Todoroki Shoto:

hits the meanest milly rock and you cant convince me otherwise

*youre in an American club for this one and you all are most certainly 21+*

You two were overseas for a vacation. Well, it was supposed to be a trip for a business convention, and he was going as the next heir to his father’s company, but who wouldn’t use this as a getaway?

Plus, a chance to show your boyfriend where you come from?

And on Endeavor’s dime? Say less. 

You were going out to a club downtown with your Shoto and your friends and their partners. It would be a nice de-stressor for the long day you and Todoroki had handling business. 

At first, Todoroki was a bit hesitant. You offered to have a dance practice, but he softly declined. He wasn’t one to go out and you didn’t push it.

But then he saw you in that tight outfit, the one that makes your ass pop, and he grabbed the keys before you could. 

The sooner you went, the sooner y’all could get back home for the real party.

Anyway–

At first, you two are just standing and talking, enjoying one another’s company. You’re a bit tipsy when you’re friends drag you onto the dance floor and you let loose. Todoroki’s watching you with a soft smile and then talking to your friends’ partners before they prompt him to take a couple shots. 

He might be one of the fiercest heroes in Japan, but mans can’t hold his liquor.

He sees you dancing and can’t help but miss the way your body feels in his hands. You both make eye contact and he’s suddenly making a b-line for you.

*Big Ole’ Freak by Megan Thee Stallion begins*

Todoroki is working his hardest to catch all the ass you’re throwing, using his hands and the support from the people behind him. He won’t let his good sis Todoroki Tina down. 

He’s pretty damn good at catching.

Y’all are sin on the floor. So much so that your friends are HOLLERING. 

“FUCK IT UP Y/N!!!”

“LET’S GOOOO SHOTO”

“CATCH THAT ASS, BRO!!”

“BITTTCHHH!!!”

*Cue Pour It Up by Rihanna*

The music changes, and suddenly, both of you are facing each other, hittin’ the folks and slowing down the nae nae. Nasty Freestyle by T-Wayne comes on, and you guys are the center of attention.

Let me tell you…it was perfection.

The City Girls came on and Todoroki amps it up—you rapping the lyrics as he dances. (He loves the City Girls as much as he does Meg and hopes a woman scams his dad like that)

But you even lose your shit when Shoto starts to milly rock. He’s got the entire club hyping him up. 

The next day, you both are watching videos from last night. Your brows shot up in surprise at how natural he was. You both were kinda shook.

“I’ve never seen you dance a day in your life. Where did this come from?” you asked, a genuine pitch in your tone.

Shoto was just as clueless as you. 

“I have no idea.”

#bnha #bnha scenarios #mha x reader #mha x black reader #mha x poc!reader #mha bakugo #mha midoriya #mha todoroki #mha kirishima #bnha todoroki #bnha midoriya #bhna bakugou #bnha kirishima #mha scenarios #mha imagines #bnha imagines #THROW THAT ASS #todoroki tina would be proud #bnha x y/n #mha x y/n #bnha x reader

[blkmxrvel]

All Grown Up (PT. 1)

Pairing: Brie Larson x CollegeStudent!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Request: -

Summary: You’re In college, You’re dating Brie. Yeah there are some people who are gonna talk shit, but everything’s going to be alright as long as you have her… right?

Warnings: Fans being assholes, Angst, break ups, Heart break. Not edited. 

A/N: So, I’ve had this in my drafts for almost a year. Haven’t even looked at my docs since the last fic I uploaded. I wanna get back into writing since my life has calmed down quite a bit since October, so I just decided to post the furthest along fic in my WIPs. I may write part two, and finish the concept but I’m not too sure. And I may finish the requests in my inbox, but I’m not too sure about that either. For now, I just hope you enjoy this :)

You were walking hand in hand with Brie, your head down as to avoid the blinding lights being flashed in your face. Your body was up against hers and you pushed through the crowd, the loud yells of the paparazzi flooding your ears.

Brie! Do you have any response to the people who have called you a pedophile?! Any comments? 

Do you think this relationship is going to work? 

Why are you dating a gold digger!? I mean she’s practically a prostitute!

Brie usually could keep her cool when it was her getting the heat, but that made her lose it. She drew the line at you.

 She snapped her head around towards the man, eyes wide and furious. “What the fuck did you just say?” You pressed your hand on to Brie’s chest pushing her to keep walking. 

“Let’s go, Brie. Don’t pay them any mind, they don’t know anything.” She listened, albeit reluctantly, and made her way into the building. 

From the moment you and Brie had started dating, people couldn’t stop having an opinion on it. You were in college, finishing up your degree when you had first met her. She was 13 years your senior but that didn’t really matter to either of you. There was something about one that pulled the other toward them, besides you were more attracted to older women anyway.

You had done your best to ignore all of the comments being said about you both. The only people who really knew what was going on between you and Brie were….you and Brie. And you figured that it should stay that way. There is no need to justify or explain yourself to people who were just onlookers. At the end of the day, you and Brie were the only two people that mattered. 

None of your close friends and family made any comments or passed judgement either, they were completely fine and loved the two of you together. The only ones who said anything were even impactful on your life, so it shouldn’t matter at all. 

You walked past the theater doors, smiling at all of the familiar faces. It was the Avenger: Endgame movie premiere, and of course you were Brie’s plus 1. 

Brie barely even had a chance to breathe before an interviewer was flagging her down. 

“Brie and Y/N! Hollywood’s best couple, beautiful as always! Are you excited for the movie?" 

Brie was the first one to speak up. ”Super excited! I’ve never seen anything pieced together, just the individual scenes, I can’t wait to see what the whole thing looks like.“ 

"You’re not the only one! What about you, Y/N?” The interviewer held the microphone to your face, smiling encouragingly at you. 

“No, yeah. I’m stoked too! I’ve always been a fan of Marvel, comic books and the films and it’s a bit overwhelming to be at an actual premiere.” Brie’s hand came to rub over your hip, smiling down at you. “I’m supposed to be at home studying for an exam, but this is easily more important in my book.”

Laughs rang out as the reporter agreed. “I second that. Well I hope you too have a great time watching it! Congratulations, Brie on all of your hard work! You were amazing in Captain Marvel and I’m sure you’ll be just as great in this, if not more." 

"Hey!” You squinted playfully at the reporter. “She’s taken!” You placed your body in front of Brie’s, failing to hold in the laugh that was expelled from your body. 

The interviewer had left eventually, and you and Brie continued your walk down the red carpet. Pictures were taken of Brie by herself, with you, and some with her castmates. 

As you walked towards the main auditorium with your girlfriend, you began to feel eyes on you and hear hushed whispers. Looking around, you saw fans more than likely whispering things about you and Brie. It was pretty obvious, they were giggling slightly and rolling their eyes when you looked that way.

Just because you were dating someone who was so used to the limelight, didn’t mean that you were automatically comfortable with it too. You were 21 for god sakes, there were so many things that you didn’t like about yourself. You hated how people could judge and make assumptions on someone they didn’t even know, you ignored the comments, yes. But that didn’t mean the pressure didn’t eat away at yourself esteem.

“Baby, you alright?” Brie had stopped while walking inside, popcorn in one hand your face in the other. “You’re doing that thing again.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “What thing?”

“The thing where you go silent and press your body into me when we’re walking. Plus your hands are clammy and your eyes keep darting everywhere.”

You secretly hated how Brie knew you so well, but after a year and a half of dating, what could you really expect?

“What’s wrong?” She asked again, her lips coming to kiss your forehead. 

“I can feel people staring, and then when I look up their whispering and giggling. They don’t do anything to cover it up!” You leaned into Brie more at the confession.

“Who was it?” Brie’s body pulled away from yours as she searched then hallway with squinted eyes. “I will fuck them up." 

You giggled, pulling Brie back toward you, resuming your walking until you got into the theater and sat down in your seat. 

"I just…I’m trying not to imagine what they’re saying. The things they say out loud are bad enough.” Brie frowned before pulling you from your seat into her lap. 

She kissed your cheek, then your nose, then your ear. “Don’t think about that, baby. Whatever they’re saying is incorrect. They don’t know you.” She wrapped her arms around your middle and pulled you down so that your head was on her shoulder. “They don’t know how hard you work, how smart you are, how brave and resilient you are. How much I love you. They don’t matter because they aren’t here. Just try your hardest to block it out okay?" 

You nodded, lifting your head up. Your eyes worked a little hard to find Brie’s eyes in the darkness. The movie hadn’t started yet, it was only the trailers. 

You found her eyes, holding contact as you smiling a toothless smiles. "I love you. So so so much, Brie.” You leaned in and sealed your words, your girlfriend kissing you back eagerly.

“I love you way more, baby.” She said when you pulled away. “Forever and Always.”

—-

Finals were a complete bitch, you’d decided. Whoever came up with the concept of a huge exam on everything you’ve learned and making it a big portion of your final grade could suck your ass. 

It wasn’t like you could slack on this one either, no. This was your first final of the first semester of your last year of college. You were graduating early and you couldn’t mess this up. You had no choice to but to do well. 

You sighed as a rattle of keys came from the outside of your apartment. Brie was home. You were excited, but so fucking stressed that you didn’t pay any mind to Brie. 

“Hey Y/N!” That was weird, she never called you by your name usually, oh well. You chalked it up to a one time thing and focused on your work. 

“Hey, how was your day?” You flipped the page, eyes glancing up to your girlfriend briefly.

“Pretty good actually, the scenes went really well.” Walked over to the couch, plopping down as she sipped her drink. She smiled down at you. You were still in your pajamas, a t-shirt two sizes too big and your hair unruly. 

“Well I’m glad at least one of us had a good day." 

"How long have you been studying?” You shrugged going over the flashcards in your head. “What time is it?”

Brie glanced at her watch, taking a minute to read the time. “Quarter till 10.”

“Then like 12 hours almost, I started a little bit after you left.” At that Brie’s eyes were as wide as saucers. 

“12 hours!? Y/F/N, that is way too much. And knowing you, you haven’t taken a break besides to pee, which means you haven’t eaten in 12 hours." 

"Hey, everything as a price- hey! Stop! What are you doing? Give it back!” You got up onto your knees and tried to snatch your book back from Brie, who held it way above your head.

“Brie, come on! I need to study!” You pouted as you stood in front of her. 

“You’ve studied enough, baby. You need to eat and rest. A rested brain is a passing brain.” You hugged again, reaching to grab your book again, failing when you fell right into Brie’s lap.

“I’m never gonna walk if I don’t pass this class. I need to graduate at the end of the year.” Brie pushed you back up and held your face. Her reys started right into yours and her furrowed her eyebrows. 

“I know, and you’re gonna pass. You’re going to ace all of your exams and finals and graduate with the Magna Cum Laude.” She kissed your cheeks, smiling brightly. “You’re going to walk across the stage, grab your diploma and your certificate, and you’re going to walk off a graduate, my little graduate.” She kissed your lips this time, allowing you to melt all of your worries away. 

“I know I’m too hard on myself,” you began when you pulled away. “But there’s just so much at stake. Graduating 2 years early is already a risk but doing so when you’re in the public eye and everybody hates you? It’s a different breed." 

Brie nodded in understanding. "I know, baby. But you gotta give yourself more credit. You’re going to graduate and you’re going to hear my loud ass cheering for you the whole time.”

Your eyes lit up at that. You hadn’t expected that. “You’re going? I thought you were going to be filming the day of the graduation?" 

Brie shook her head, hands coming to rest on your thighs. "I was, but I convinced them to give me a week off to see my girl graduate.” Brie smiled widely at you and you wiggled in your seat. You were giddy because Brie getting to be at your graduation, cheering you on and letting everyone know that she was proud of you, was worth all the stress you were putting yourself through. 

“You promise?” You held your pinky up, heart racing racing when Brie interlocked hers with yours and kissed the back of her hand. 

“I promise, princess." 

—-

"We need to break up.” You had almost dropped your glass. Your heart fell into your stomach and it felt like the wind was knocked out of you. 

“What?” Your voice was shaky at your addressed your….girlfriend? 

“I’m sorry, I just. I can’t do this anymore.” Your heart began beating faster as tears sprung to your eyes. 

“Brie, you’ve got to be joking. Please tell me you’re joking.” You let the tears fall, your fingers in a vice grip against the counter. 

“I’m not, and I’m so sorry I led you on like this, Y/N. So sorry that I let it get this far. The age gap is just too much. You need someone your age. We both do. We’re just…. Two people with two different experiences.” 

You sink to the floor, no longer caring about what you looked like. Your worst nightmare was finally coming true. You tried your hardest to tell yourself that the age gap between you and Brie didn’t matter. She tried her hardest to help you rid yourself of that fear. And here she was, breaking up with you over that exact reason. Was it all a lie? 

There was no point in arguing, Y/N concluded. No point in trying to convince Brie to stay with her, maybe change her mind and snap her out of it. No matter how bad it hurt, how bad she wanted Brie to stay, it was never going to work out. They were never going to have a real love. 

“Okay.” Y/N nodded, wiping the tears from under her eyes. Her heart hardened immediately. She stood up on shaky legs and a broken heart. She couldn’t let Brie see her care too much.  

“I’ll leave. I’ll probably send Scarlett or Chris to come and get my things. If you could just put them all in a box for me that’d be great.” She grabbed her book bag and her books, making her way to the door. “Just things that I bought, nothing you bought me. Please.” 

Brie felt her heart shatter at her broken ex-girlfriend. This was hurting her too, but it had to be done. She was crazy to go after a girl so much younger than her and think that they would actually last. Y/N deserved better. 

“Okay,” Brie wiped a tear from her eye and clenched her hands when she saw Y/N reach for the knob. “We can still be friends, you know. This is the end of the relationship, but it doesn’t have to be the end of our friendship. We were friends first.” 

A chill ran down Brie’s spine at the bitter chuckled that left Y/N’s lips. Her free hand came to run through her hair while the door squeezed the knob. “Well we ruined that friendship when we started dating. And besides, I can’t be just friends with someone I wanted to spend my life with.”

Brie pouted, and Y/N almost smiled, almost. “Don’t say that. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life with me, that’s all in your head. You’ll find someone else. I’m sure.” 

Y/N nodded her head once, a nod of hurt, acceptance and realization. “Yeah, whatever you say, Brie. Have a nice life.” Y/N opened the door as just like that she was gone. 

Brie felt the wind being knocked out of her. She immediately fell to the ground, sobs and desperate breaths wracking through her body. She had done it, she let Y/N go. And it hurt, it hurt so bad. 

 What had she just done? 

–

Neither Y/N nor Brie had gotten much time to grieve and heal, because once word got out about the break-up. Everyone was asking about it. Y/N would get stopped by everyone on campus asking why they broke up; if it was because Brie realized what a gold digger you were, or if she was only in it for the Sex and companionship. None of the questions were positive, or in the slightest bit respectful. Y/N didn’t know what she expected, everyone hated her and Brie together. If they didn’t like and respect her then, why would they do it now? Y/N just stuck herself. School, work and home was all she focused on. Without Brie, it was all she had. 

Most of her nights were filled with what went wrong, and what the absolute hell was wrong with her. Y/N blamed herself. If was maybe a little bit older, or maybe not in school or carried herself better. Maybe then Brie would’ve liked her enough to stay. If she acted older maybe then age wouldn’t matter. She didn’t really know, and it was killing her. But she had to live with it, live with the self-sabotaging demons in her head. 

Brie wasn’t doing much better either. She was in the public eye constantly. Everyone was asking her about the break-up: in interviews or at parties, award shows and meet and greets. It was exhausting, heartbreaking. Brie doesn’t even know why she broke up with Y/N. She thought it was for the best, that it would be better than way. But all it did was cause her more pain. 

She regrets it, regrets it all. She just feels so stupid that she let the thoughts and opinions of other get into her head. She hates how she allowed their words to fuel her insecurities and sent her down the wrong path. She could only blame herself though. She had the choice to tell everyone to shut up, to make the announcement that her and Y/N’s was just that: her and Y/N. And that everyone else should just shut the fuck up and go somewhere. But no. She allowed herself to be consumed in all of that and it led to her losing the love of her life. She had to do something.  

#madi writes #brie larson #brie larson x reader #brie larson imagine #captain marvel x reader #captain marvel #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers

[weeklyfangirl]

Frat Boy Pt. 20

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19

Happy New Year!!!!!! Here’s a party and a hot guy loving on you - and you don’t even have to leave your home ;)

I haven’t been to many therapist offices after I started high school. This one was free, on student-life. Reproduced images of the sea were comforting enough, but it was the dreary stained carpet that reminded me where I was. 

“Do you think they’re related to the night you were assaulted?” 

“Yes. But I don’t know how to get rid of them. I lose sleep and then when I do sleep, I have these nightmares and I wake up more restless than if I’d just stayed up all night.” 

 “Hm. And how do you feel about Harry?” 

 “Harry?” 

 She nodded. “Yes, the boy in your dreams.” Her French manicured nails squeezed the top of her clipboard.

 “That’s not an easy question.” 

 “Try.” 

 I sighed. “Okay…” The painted seagull in her office looked like an on-clearance print at TJ Maxx, and suddenly I wished I’d called my mother for her own version of therapy instead. Bargain shopping. “I think I hate him. But then I know I don’t. But then… I don’t necessarily like him either.” 

 “Do you love him?” 

I laughed. “No, I don’t love him.”

 “Why do you laugh?”

 “I said I almost hated him and you ask me if I love him!” But my voice was a little too loud. The question stayed with me, stirring in my mind. “I think I’d know if I loved him.” 

 “Love looks different to different people. Finding a healthy version of love for yourself and your partner is where things can go awry. Or right.” 

 I remembered Harry and I talking at Alta about Madame Bovary, and how I’d told him that people love to the best of their abilities, from what they’ve learnt by their circumstances. Silence weighed in the room, and I knew she was waiting for me to elaborate on my feelings. Bleh.

 “I don’t know,” I finally said. “But if this is what love looks like to him… We’re not even technically dating so this question doesn’t even apply!” I laughed again. “But then… even if we were, then...  it’s not enough.” 

 “And what would be enough for you?”

 “Stability.” 

 “And do you think this is possible with him?” 

 “Umm…” Zayn’s voice popped in my head - Harry was a magnet for infamy - and I laughed. I laughed, and I laughed...“No.”

 “And why is that?” 

 “Because he self-sabotages. And he says things he doesn’t mean.” 

 “Such as...?”

 A puff of breath left my lips. “Like last night, he said I didn’t have a life. And then he was comparing me to another girl. Viv. She’s like his… sister, basically. She grew up with him. But… he got really defensive and said at least she fucks me. But the fact that he said I don’t have a life?? A LIFE?? I mean shit, it’s not my fault he’s infiltrated my dreams is it?” 

 She shook her head. “It’s very important for you not to blame yourself. Show yourself the same kindness you’d show your friends. Renny, for example.” 

 Be kind to yourself. 

 I nodded. Those were the words my mother would say whenever I’d critique myself. Just like all those times before, the words registered, but it didn’t change anything about the frustration I felt. I was the one dumb enough to let him in. I’d let myself be dragged into him, even with every red flag hitting me in the face. I was collecting them for a meme bouquet at this point!

 “Do you believe him?” she asked. 

 It took me a minute to hear her. 

 “The words he said to you,” she said. “That you don’t have a life.” 

 A timer beeped on her phone. She muted it. “I’d like you to write out what you want in your life for next time. Not what anybody else wants. But what Y/N wants. When you see it written out, no matter how silly it seems, having concrete answers might help.”

 --------------

 I was staring at my notes page, trying to think of what I wanted. I didn’t exactly have the chance to ask her what she meant by that. Did she mean career goals? Education goals? Relationship goals? What did this have to do with ending my nightmares? 

 A text at the top of my phone distracted me from the blank page. 

 Kiki: “Don’t worry, we didn’t forget about you. Get your hands on the special airhead pills from Harry’s and bring them to the DG Pretty Please Party next week. On the DL obvi.”  

Viv chimed in on the group chat. “Congrats bitch! It’ll be fun for all of us.” She included the devil emoji. 

 This is what I got for stalling up until the last minute to walk into work. The practice was now a blatant reminder that Harry was out of my life and it didn’t help whenever I saw Lionel. It felt weird that I was seeing his dad more than him. Wrong, even. 

 Voices carried through the lot along with the clicking of heels. I turned my head. 

 Boss Lady Samantha was headed towards the elevator. 

 Shit, Y/N. Shit shit shit.

 I got out, quietly closing the door. Better to walk with my boss than walk in late after her, right? Her red hair was let down today, ringlet curls in full effect. I could meet her at the elevator before it arrived.

 But right when I was about to shout out hold the elevator Lionel walked right behind her. And I mean RIGHT behind her - there was hardly room for a Bible between them. 

 I hid behind my car, unsure if I was supposed to be seeing this. 

 Their voices were too low to hear, but his arm lingered at her lower back before the elevator opened. She got in. Alone. Lionel looked over his shoulder and I ducked further. 

 Through Grandpa’s windows, I saw the elevator door close. Lionel waved goodbye to Samantha and he pressed the button again. 

 Before chickening out, my shoulders straightened. I shouldn’t have to be the one hiding. I jogged to make it. His brows shot up in surprise as he held the elevator for me. The kindness I’d gotten used to seeing in his eyes looked hesitant this time. 

 “A little late today?” he asked, as soon as I’d made it in. 

 I avoided his eyes, nodded.  It was a quiet elevator ride. 

 ------------

 My family’s house was a ten minute drive from the practice. Enough drive time to sit on what I’d seen outside Coast Shores Medicine. It could’ve been friendly. I didn’t have to do anything about this. But in my bones, I knew that friendly isn’t what I’d seen. Lionel avoided me the rest of the day, assigning me to print out billing statements. I hadn’t seen them make out or anything, but there was a certain intimacy I couldn’t write off right away. Did Mrs. de Saude know about his close work relationships? Did Harry? 

 The sickening uneasiness dissipated when I heard my parent’s Home Improvement HGTV hour. Dad was already passed out on the couch, snoring at a whopping 8 PM when I walked through the door. Ignoring Mom’s tutting of “they keep you too late,” we went to my bedroom. 

 “Pick the nude ones,” Mom said, adjusting the spectacles she only pulled out on rare occasions (magazine reading and shoe selections). “It makes your legs look longer.” It looked like there was something more she wanted to say. 

 I adjusted them in the mirror, wearing the blush dress I’d bought for my aunt’s beach wedding almost a year prior. It’d never been worn. Her Spanish fiancé she’d met three months prior stole her TV set and ran off with his gay lover a week before. As I stood, the dress just barely touched the floor. Simple, really, but the way the thin straps exposed my chest rendered it elegant. I felt like I needed a long cigarette and fur coat to make it complete.  

 Without context, Mother suddenly burst into an annoyed huff. 

 “You okay?” I asked.

 “Hm?” Her lashes fluttered as if she hadn’t realized she’d made a noise. “Oh, yes. I’m fine. Your father just took another one of those sleeping pills. You should never get too dependent on medication, Y/N. Drink warm milk or something.”

 “Mom.”

 “I’m serious!” Her stony face certainly wasn’t comical. 

 “I know.”

 She looked me over in the dress again and caught herself, pulling me in for a rushed hug. “I’m sorry,” she breathed. She rocked me a little. “It’s just been a little rough this week.” She squeezed me tighter, then let me go. All negative energy shoved into a box that’d spring open when we all least expected it. “Have a good night tonight. Say hello to Harry for me!”

 When I walked to the car she threw out, “And tell him next time he can ask you with a Cartier ring! HA! I’m joking!! ... Kind of!!!” 

 I smiled, waving to her at the gate as I got into my Grandpa mobile. I didn’t have the heart to tell her Golden Boy wasn’t my date.  

 ---------

There were two cops for every solo cup I could see littered on the ground. They patrolled the streets, but the frat house seemed unphased and restored to its former glory as I walked with Andre. Club music pounded beyond the doors, practically shaking the windows. Girls huddled up outside, holding each other’s hair back and trying to block anyone’s view from the bile, as the guys snickered over their shoulders and some pretended not to see. But the cops weren’t here to reprimand for underage drinking and public intoxication tonight. They were on watch. Stationed around the perimeter of the house and on either end of the street. 

 They were waiting for something else. For somebody else. 

 Andre seemed oblivious, practically skipping past them he was so excited. I, on the other hand, was already limping from the nude pumps. 

 “Wanna switch shoes?” he called back. 

 “Don’t make a deal you aren’t willing to keep,” I smiled, quirking a brow. “The nude would actually match your navy suit…”

 He’d already walked on, fist bumping the bouncer who raised up a professional-grade camera and snapped a photo of us. When my eyes recovered from the flash, I spotted Officer Ramirez from the uniforms just beyond the frat’s ramshackle fence. He was already watching me. He raised two fingers above his brow and I nodded, curtly, even though I wanted to shrink inside myself. I hadn’t had the time to think about what I would say if he contacted me again, or if I should be the one to reach out to him.

 Andre led me inside, and for once, I was glad I couldn’t hear my own thoughts. It raised ten degrees just from stepping inside. The boys were in Bond suits, but most had abandoned their jackets wherever they could - on the banister, the couch beneath the staircase, or the entrance hall. The girls had dressed up, too. This was the most covered up I think I’d seen some of them, though others still opted for above-the-knee slips.

 “Oi, where’s your drink?!” Niall’s familiar voice shouted above the bass.

 He pulled Andre into a side hug before we reached the dancefloor. When he saw me, Niall practically fell over. 

 “Y/N! What’re you doing here?” He spluttered, whiskey in his breath. The knot of his tie was already to his chest, but he loosened it even more. He looked over his shoulder, then back to me. “Renny’s just gone to the bathroom.” 

 “She’s my date,” Andre stepped in, placing an arm around my shoulder. It was completely platonic but Niall’s face went to stone. 

 Suddenly it cracked, and he laughed, running a hand over his stubbly chin. “Oh, shit.” He laughed again. “Shit!” 

 Andre smiled, unaware of anything else besides the fact that Niall must be proud he showed up with a date. He patted Niall’s shoulder. “We’re going to see the big bro, I’ll find you later.” Andre nodded his head for me to follow, leaving Niall cackling to himself in the entranceway.

 “Niall’s THE. MAN,” he put his hands up for emphasis. “He’s my favorite in the house besides my big. We gotta say hi, then you can run off. Oh, Renny’s here too!” He squeezed my shoulders as if to excite me, as if she’d be the reason I’d stay. Loved the girl, but I knew she’d be back on top of Niall five minutes after she was out. I just didn’t want to have to watch. 

 I wrung my hands together, growing nervous. I knew the reason Niall had reacted that way was because Harry was going to be here. I knew this coming into it. But I’d been expecting him to ignore me the entire night. With Niall’s reaction, I wasn’t so sure anymore. What had Harry told Niall?

 Someone sloshed their beer on me as I passed, and I turned sour, rolling my eyes as Andre pushed us forward. I picked up the pace before he could notice I’d stopped and wiped the glare off my face. Or, tried. I probably just looked constipated now. 

 WHY WAS HIDING EMOTION SO HARD?? 

 I felt bad feeling so annoyed. Andre was excited. I should be excited, right? Sloshed beer and sweaty bodies came with the territory. Though I’d forgotten how humid it got in here. Hell and Florida were probably cooler. I picked up the ends of my dress, hoping for some sort of ventilation to reach parts of me that were on the verge of overheating. 

 The coffee tables and couches had been moved from the center of the living room to the fringes beneath the stairwell to make designated smoking and dancing sections. I could’ve stayed on the outside of the dance crowd. Hell, I could’ve joined the spaced-out smokers on the couch. But I didn’t. I followed Andre to the middle of the dance floor. I could barely see above the tops of people’s heads until we reached a bit of a clearing. And by clearing, I meant the sweaty dancers in front of us who made a break for freedom and gave us about ten seconds of space before other bodies rushed to fill it. 

 I felt him before I saw him. A tiny prick of consciousness that directed my gaze. And Andre’s finger.

 “AYYYY!!!!!” Andre pointed to the DJ booth, waving his hands as he hollered.

 Even with the rocking vibration of the bass that chattered my teeth, each nerve in my body went alert. Harry stood, flashing a white smile to the crowd before downing the rest of whatever potion was in his cup. I hated how my stomach clenched just by seeing him. He saw Andre and his smile grew, grabbing the mic. I was still unnoticed, hidden by dim lighting and nameless peers.

 “Who’s ready for us to win tomorrow!?” His voice was low, demanding. It was a question for the crowd, but he was looking at Andre. I could sense the intensity even there, and it was then I realized it couldn’t be just me who feels so vulnerable around Harry. Each person he traps in his gaze stays there, until he lets them go. 

 The house erupted in cheers, but I was locked in place. The suit he was wearing looked similar to the one from the Halloween gala, and every bit of him looked just as stunning. His beautiful body swayed on the makeshift stage. 

 “Then let’s see you jump in-” His hand held up 5, 4, 3, 2… He spun another song and the crowd sprung from the floor before crashing back down. They jumped to the beat he made. A modern-day puppet master. 

 Andre wrapped an arm around me as he jumped. So I did, too. 

 “That’s my big!!” he yelled, mid-air.

 “WHAT??”

 He pointed to the DJ booth, but there was no one there besides Harry. 

 “.... HARRY??! HARRY’S YOUR- your…” I stopped jumping the same second Harry saw us together. It’s funny. It takes only a second to flip a dime on its head. His party boy mask dropped in an instant. The low lighting turned his eyes black, but they couldn’t conceal the daggers he shot straight at me.

 “I have to use the bathroom,” I muttered. 

 Andre nodded. “S’UP THE STAIRS!” He found a friend nearby and latched on to him instead. 

 The small (okay, medium) part of me filled with nothing but Petty™ wanted Harry to see me with his little. But another part of me couldn’t handle his judgmental glare. Somehow, I was embarrassed. I didn’t want him to think I’d come here tonight to make him jealous. That I was so obsessed with him I’d found another in to the frat. I didn’t want him to think he controlled any part of my heart. What did it say that I ran away at first sight, though?

 I’d already done it. It didn’t matter. Either way, I didn’t win.

 I raced upstairs, weaving my way between couples sitting on the stairs, hoping that the line for the restroom was really long and Renny hadn’t already left. It was, and she was next in line. 

 “Oh my God, what are you doing here?!” she screeched, arms out and eyes squinted until I could no longer see her pupil. 

 “Why do people keep asking me that.” 

 She pulled me into an extra-long, extra-tight Renny hug. “Love yousoooomuch,” she rushed. Her breath smelled like Niall as she pulled away. She lifted the cup to my lips and I shook my head. She frowned. 

 “I talked with Niall,” she said. “He says Harry’s just going” - she hiccupped - “through a lot right now. S’best to leave him alone.” 

 The other girls in line perked up at the mention of his name, subconsciously leaning closer. I huffed. “Trust me. I am.” 

 When three girls stumbled out of the only bathroom stall, Renny rushed in. “Thank God I was about to pee on the carpet.” She tried tugging me in with her, but my eye was on the end of the hall. And the stupid DG pretty please.

 “I’ll be back,” I muttered, squeezing her hand. 

 “Nooooo,” she drawled. 

 I squished her cheeks, checked her pupils. She didn’t need me to hold her hair back this time. I gave her cheek a lil slap.

 “I’ll go with you next time you have to go. Which will be in like... twenty minutes. You broke the seal rookie!” I teased. 

 I didn’t even bother looking over the railing at the party below to see if he was watching me. I still had my DG task and a nonrefundable deposit to think about. I didn’t think I’d get many chances to be in this house again unless I swindled Andre or Niall into letting me in. But that would require an explanation, and I wasn’t sure I could tell them that. 

 Forget explanations. I needed to do it now. Lots of noise. Tons of distractions. I’d just think of it as… borrowing?

 His door was locked and I groaned, kicking it and leaving a smudge beside all the others. I reached for a bobby pin in my purse and put it to work. I’d done it before in his bedroom, I could do it again here. The curve of the hallway protected me from onlookers waiting in line in the bathroom. Downstairs was a mixed bag. People could probably see through the railings running along the top floor. 

 Not that they’d think to look. 

 My knees were starting to hurt by the time I heard it click. I crept in, and for some reason, I expected his room to look different. But it was still the same. Dusty desk across from a queen-sized bed. Only one photograph atop his bedside mantle. And it didn’t smell like sweaty soccer clothes, but clean. With hints of a woodland spice and books. It felt like eons had passed since I was first here, undressing him like the drunken baby he’d been. As an act of betrayal, my body rushed at the thought of how his fingers had looped around my belt loops, tugging me closer. I swallowed, the image of his tightened pants expanding in my head. He’d almost been hard, then. 

 It was then, at that moment, that I decided that the one sip of alcohol I’d had must have been spiked with SOMETHING because I would NOT be that girl. I would NOT. I reFUSED TO LET MYSELF-

 Seconds later, my fingertips grazed his soft gray sheets. He’d been sprawled out right about here, and the rush of seeing unseen skin on Harry had been too intoxicating an offer to refuse. The ghost of that rush flowed through me again as my memory played it over like a movie. Close-ups and panning shots - Down his toned chest to tattoos speckled along tan skin, tattoos that had been seemingly doodles, but now held much more meaning now that I knew of his history with the ocean. For his sister. My body leant down before I knew what I was doing, and I inhaled. The lingering aroma of his body chemistry altering his cologne: musky, a little spice, and warmth.

 Even if every ounce of me wanted to dislike him, the legitimate biology behind my body responded to a chemistry I couldn’t control. 

 “What are you doing?”

 He caught me on my knees, with one hand clutched in the sheets.

 Fuckity FUCK-

 He could whip out PSYCHO magazine informing people of highly-dangerous murderers with my mugshot plastered across the cover - and I’d believe him in that moment. Oh my gosh. Omgomgomg. He didn’t say what I expected him to say when he swayed in, though. 

 “Andre. Really?” He laughed to himself, but it was cold. “Fucking” - he stumbled, leaning on the desk chair to catch himself- “really?” 

 It wasn’t the alcohol that’d put him on edge. I’d seen him handle liquor before, but this time he looked… different. I stood up, realizing his eyes were racking down my dress. I crept towards him, hoping to make it past the door. Not because I was scared of him. But because I was mortified. I’d just looked like an absolute fucking psychopath AND I’d snuck into his bedroom. Maybe I could distract him. Maybe he was too drunk to ask me-

 “What’re you doing here?”

 “What are we… all doing here? At parties?”

 “…in my room,” he clarified.

 Welp. My philosophical question fell flat. Wouldn’t be the first time.

 I waltzed past him, tight-lipped. In defense of my dignity, I still didn’t owe him anything. Not after how he’d treated me. 

 “Hey,” his arm jutted out, blocking my way. His brows crossed as he turned to a petulant boy. “S’rude to not answer.” 

 My blood boiled. “You are not about to give me a lesson on how bad it is to ignore people right now. Nor on being rude.” 

 “Can give you another one.” 

 He reached for me, but I stepped back, somewhat living in the hurt that flashed in his eyes at my rejection. 

 “You’re not leaving.” But his demand sounded like a plead. 

 “Thought you didn’t want me around you,” I scoffed, tearing past him. “Just because you’re drunk or high or whatever the fuck it is you are right now, doesn’t mean you can just… get a free pass! For a week! A whole week of awful-” I turned quickly, too frustrated to find the words. I took a step towards the door but- 

 “Y/N.” He was right behind me. His breath warmed the nape of my neck, the delicate hairs standing on end. No matter how much of an absolute mess he was, my body didn’t know better. I could practically feel him behind me, his presence radiating an alarm that blared through my veins. I wanted him. Badly. He trailed a finger down my arm, and his hand brushed against my own against my side. “I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

 His fingers gingerly interlaced with mine, turning me around. 

 Something wet was on my cheek. I touched it, quickly rubbing it away in horror. Why were tears running down my face?! What unfair cruelty was this!? He saw my tears and leant down, suddenly defeated, pulling my body with him.

 “Why did’ya ever want me hm?” His nose went along my jaw. Full lips pressed against the base turned my legs weak. There was an underlying desperation to his words though, a prayer in his kiss. But my thoughts were turning anything but holy. 

 “Who says I did…” I wanted to pull away, ask him why he’d used past tense or why he’d completely ignored me this past week, but I was frozen by the softness of his hands. Self-respect was surely slipping away each moment I lingered. I could literally see Jane Austen parting the heavens and sticking her angelic head through Harry’s room to shame me with a glare. I do all this mental work to try and figure this guy out and… for what? I should be waltzing out that door, declaring I’d never talk to him again. I should give up messy and confused and pursue my own sanity. But the air only ever turned electric with him, in all his messiness, in all this confusion… and each time the spark appeared, it pushed us closer together until he was here, like this, soft hands gently running along my lower back, skilled fingertips feeling the dress fall slightly inwards at my waist, tracing a map of uncharted waters… 

 “You’re not thinking straight,” I breathed. And that went for both of us. 

 “Au contraire, I’m thinking clearer than I ever ‘ave.” There was a swirling madness shining through, but he bat his eyes and it was veiled again, vanished beneath the dark surface. He tilted his head, appraising my body, noticing my legs were no longer tensed to run, but in apprehension for another reason completely. A smirk settled in. “Why do you still want me?” he demanded, pulling me against him towards the bed.

 “Arrogant ass,” I sniped, but I landed on him anyway. His fingers tightened around my waist, a hand snaking up behind to entwine with my hair. I felt him harden beneath me as he pulled my head to the side, just the right amount of rough. But he stalled over vulnerable skin, lips ghosting featherlight up to my ear. He let out a soft breath and I clenched in anticipation. For once, I had no thoughts. “You should be with me,” he breathed. “Should be mine.” His voice grew frustrated and he practically growled, lips kissing my neck, steady, before they started to suck in a rhythm. The shock of the sensation masked the shock from his words and my back arched, a spider’s shiver crawling down my spine. He stopped suddenly, shooting back like he’d been shocked. His grip softened ‘round the nape of my neck, and he looked so… confused. “Can’t mark you again,” he noted, despondent. But then the corners of his lips twitched up in a smirk. “Least where it’s visible.” My breath caught. His black ink eyes showed the slightest ring of green. I don’t remember lifting my hand, but fingers trailed along dark circles. These were a new development. I shook my head lightly. Something was wrong. This was wrong. I leant in, resting my head against his. “Harry-” but his lips cut me off before I could mention it. 

 I felt like I’d been feeling his lips everywhere but my own. They were eager, but kept pace, switching it up just when I was getting comfortable, slowing to make me feel the soft fullness of raspberry-pink lips. They were pillows, and clouds, and everything else soft and wonderful that I’d want to feel forever. He slipped in his tongue, deepening the kiss, and I ground my body against him, using his shoulders as leverage. 

 This wasn’t me. But I didn’t care enough to think about ‘who I was’ anymore. What did I want? 

 I felt him pulse between my legs. 

 “Harry,” I bit my lip, and I knew then. I’ve been wanting more, I’ll always want more. I was more aware than ever of an emptiness he could fill. 

 “Been hard ever since I saw you bouncing in that dress,” he said gruffly. “With fucking Andr- ahh...fuck.” I rocked my hips against him in spite, putting a hand over his mouth to shut him up. 

 But his head jutted back and came forward again. He looked at me through hooded eyes, and just like that I was sedated by his gaze, my body pausing. He looked like he was about to scold me. “Do it again.” His voice was low. I stalled, looking at the way his lips barely parted. “Don’t be shy now, Y/N.” My hips replied on command, but rebelliously, slowly, feeling the length of him run between the thin underwear that’d cocooned itself against my ridges and folds. I ran my hips back down against his thigh. “Fu-uhck-” He jutted his hips up, turning something wicked when I moaned. The friction from the dress and pressure from my own body rocking against Harry built a tightly coiled knot I wanted desperately to release. And then we were kissing again. Fervent. Eager. A skilled tongue slipping in to dance with my own. He was rock hard against me. I could feel the full outline pressed tight against his slacks now, creating my own mental map. My hands wrapped in his hair, and I pulled, relaxing our pace, rutting myself up with purpose to rotate in a circle at his clothed tip. The noise from his throat wasn’t human, and I felt heavy and light all at the same time when his thumb dug into my chin just under my lower lip. 

 “Wanna help you,” he rumbled. “Will you let me? Won’t you do that for me?” 

 I nodded, wordlessly, and with both hands tight on my hips, he tugged us further back until he was against the pillows, and me, repositioned above him. He pulled us down and we built a rhythm against his thigh, the determination in his stitched brow as he did half the work making it even sexier. He was almost needier than me. There was an urgency to his strong hands as they hiked up my dress, fingertips dancing around and just beneath the band of my underwear. He didn’t pull it off, just gently pushed my hips up and down, then harder, faster, to the damp patch already on his slacks. I was buzzing, every inch of me, the wound coil growing bigger, tighter, the build of release making my heart race. He stared at me as we moved together.

 “Tha’s it. So good at this,” he mumbled. “So beautiful.” 

 My breath caught, and his wide eyes watched wondrously as I moved frenzied above him. His chest rose, bits of tattoo spilling past the white button-down collar. My hand clutched his shirt as I felt myself begin to peak. This was as intimate as I’ve been with someone, and the pressure of being seen through his eyes like this was a lot of pressure. I didn’t want to think about how many other girls had been in this position before. What he spoke to them, how they looked, what they’ve done, or how recently they’d done it. His hand cupped my face and brought me down, lips claiming me to the point of bruising and silencing voiceless thoughts. The pull of his lips, and the sturdiness of his thigh made me whimper. My swollen bud hit his clothed cock with each surge upwards, his hands guiding me, making sure my breath hitched each time. And each time, I’d feel him tense. Again, and again, just knowing his thick hard cock was against me, right against me, almost…

 “Almost… Harry…” 

 “Y/N,” he rasped. I felt his hot gaze as I shuddered above him. He kissed me, slow, swallowing another whimper as a current of electricity ran from the crown of my head to my toes. His hands helped me ride out my high, slowly coming to a halt. 

 He opened his arms, letting me cuddle up against his chest. Silence stretched on over quiet breathing. “Been waiting a long time for that,” he finally mumbled. I quirked an eye open, realizing he’d been watching me. I almost didn’t recognize his eyes. For once, they seemed sated. Unhaunted. The clouds had seemed, for a moment, to have parted. “To see you cummm.” He hummed the last word, leaning down and nuzzling the nook of my neck. Still nuzzling, he quirked half his face to look at me. We shared a long kiss, then a shorter one to my forehead. “You’re magnificent.” 

 Though I hadn’t removed a stitch of clothing, I hadn’t felt more naked. And for all the times I’d felt embarrassed around Harry, at least in this moment, he made me feel comfortable about what we’d just done. We lay there, my scent now mingling with the rest of his in the room. I still felt him hard beneath my legs that were strewn across his lap, and I wondered if it was … painful. He stirred, placing one hand behind his head, the other wrapped around me. 

 I traced shapes into his chest. He hummed, smiling softly. It was his boyish smile. The one I’d hardly seen, the one that you want to wrap up and cuddle and protect from the world to keep this one second of pure happiness intact. I pecked the corner of his mouth and his smile broke, squeezing my side. “Thank you,” he mumbled. I checked to make sure his eyes were still closed when I looked down at the black slacks. Since I finished, he should, too. I swallowed nervously as my fingers traced lower, down the button down as I tried to remember the porn Renny and I had watched together one late summer night. His eyelashes fluttered open, and he watched me, curiously, darkly, until I stopped at the tip of his pants. I slipped my fingers beneath the belt, just barely feeling the coarseness of hair before he took my wrist in his hand. He practically hissed and I stilled, not noticing I was holding my breath. I couldn’t possibly be doing this wrong…

 His index finger stroked the top of my hand, and I relaxed. 

 He looked at me gently. “Tonight was for you. S’all I wanted.” His touch was just as gentle, and he placed his thumb between my lips, running over them gently. I didn’t want him to see me as some pure untouched thing he should be scared to do anything with. My lips parted as seductively as I could make them appear, and I moved to let his finger in my mouth, but he cheekily closed my lips instead. 

 He stroked my cheek, almost giggling at my attempt. “This just isn’t how I picture it happening.” 

 The way his eyes were memorizing my lips told me he’d thought about this before, but I didn’t miss that he said how, and not where. Muffled EDC music vibrated his door, and faraway voices travelled through his open window from the yard below. The cops were waiting there, too. Was that the situation he was referring to? 

 “You deserve a lot, Y/N.” 

 I heard the hesitancy in his voice, some unforeseen disappointment he wouldn’t just spell out for me. “What’re you saying.” 

 “Just that there’s few things I want t’be sober for these days.”

 The thought hit my stomach like the sharpened blade of a knife, and it hurt worse than any wound from my nightmares. “Why would you say something like that?” I demanded.

 “Because it’s true.” His eyes searched mine, and I saw the sadness pulling him in. Like the tumultuous water of the middle of the ocean spirally inwards into itself. A treacherous water hole that’d carry you into its deepest abyss.

 I shook my head as if to find a way out, as if that would clear away what I was seeing. “I never… know what’s going on with you,” I admitted. I thought to the interaction with Lionel and Samantha. “Is home life really that bad?” 

 “What home?” He huffed when I looked at him. “M’serious. I feel more alone when I walk in there than I do when I’m here. And nobody even fucking knows me here.” 

 “Everyone knows you.” 

 “You’re smarter than that, Y/N.” 

 “What’d you take tonight, hm?” I cooed. My hand traced the dark circles under his eyes, and he leant against my touch before looking to the window, still allowing me to touch him. No doubt from whatever stimulant or depressant he’d taken, his words had been more candid than ever before. 

 “A cocktail of sorts. Will fucking regret it in the mornin’. Probably.” 

 He looked back to me, and I didn’t have time to wipe the concern from my face. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. It’s okay. It doesn’t matter,” he stated.

 He really believed it when he said it, and the way there didn’t seem to be enough energy left in him made me settle back in his arms with a frown. Because it did matter. It mattered a lot. A few moments later, he squeezed my sides. “You didn’t answer my question,” he mumbled. 

 “What question?” 

 He waited until I looked up at him, and even then he was hesitant. His voice was quiet when he spoke, intimate, so if even if someone was standing at the foot of the bed they couldn’t hear what he was about to ask. 

 “Why do you want me, Y/N?” 

 The vulnerable question hung in the air. And though it was presumptuous of him to ask, he wasn’t wrong. His eyes read me like a book he’d read a hundred times over. He saw me. I swallowed, my brain and heart at an all-out war. Unfortunately for me, they captured my tongue in a stale-mate. “I don’t know what I want.”

 And it was true. The dilemma was the following:

The only thing my body wanted was him. 

But my brain didn’t know if that’s what I should be     wanting anymore.  

And my heart was left in the middle of them both, not     sure what it was feeling. 

 I felt him shrug. “I get it. I have so many opinions shouting at me in my head right now. About soccer, my fucked family, about” - he threw his hands between us.  

 After Niall had greeted me at the door, I was sure Harry had talked about us in some capacity. But how many people had opinions on our relationship? “Let me guess. Viv shares her opinion about us.” 

 “I don’t listen to hers.” 

 “But hey, at least she fucks you right.” 

 He sucked in a breath, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean that.” 

 “But it’s true, right? So no need to apologize.” 

 The room froze over. Just the thought of her whispering in his ear was enough to trigger an entire week’s worth of pent-up animosity. 

 “So maybe people are confused why Viv and I aren’t together but I couldn’t give a fuck about what they think. I fucking hate that we’re even talking about her right now.”

 “What do they say?” 

 He rolled his eyes, hurriedly slanting his voice, “Viv’s gorgeous mate, she clearly wants you. What the fuck are you doing now?” 

 I flinched. He noticed. “Look, I seriously hate talking about this. Can we talk about the fact that I didn’t invite anyone tonight?” 

 “Aw, was Viv busy?”

 “Alright, stop.” 

 A chill shot down my spine at the rejection. As much as I wanted to appreciate the fact he didn’t invite anyone, it didn’t help. This wasn’t helping at all. “I’m sorry if I want to talk about your relationships that directly affect me,” I said, rolling out of his arms.

 “Y/N, please. It’s not like that.” His voice was tired, pleading, coaxing me to forget. 

 “But why are you like this? Why did you just say what you did to me?”

 “You asked me-”

 “It was very belittling.” I changed my voice to a dopey British accent, “Viv’s gorgeous what the fuck are you doing with Y/N?” I ignored his scowl. “Really, thanks for the best compliment of the night.” I pushed against his chest, annoyed. “And why are you being like this now? All cuddly and-”

 “It’s not one-sided.” 

 I felt my cheeks heat. “Not tonight. But it’s one-sided any other time.”   

 “S’that what you really think of me?” He pulled me closer, and I fought the urge to twist away. His forehead pressed into my hair. “Firstly, you’re fucking beautiful Y/N. You have to know this. And you have to know you’re important to me. And secondly…”

 “Thirdly,” I corrected.

 His eyes turned somber. “They’re watching,” he mumbled, pleading. “This is hard for me, too.” 

 The gang, the cops, both, whichever it was, it didn’t matter. The effect was the same. No matter how special he claimed I was to him, we always went in circles. Maybe he had gotten it right. Maybe it was better for both of us if we weren’t together. “Why is it so hard then?” I whispered. 

 “Nothing good comes easy.”

 I remained silent. It was a cop-out response.

 He ran a hand down his face and sat up. “Because I’m fucked! I’m fucked, Y/N and there’s only so many people I can hide from. And you aren’t one of them.” 

 It was the most candid he’d ever been with me, without revealing anything at all.

 A knock sounded at the door. 

 I went to move, but he kept me against him, covering my ears as he shouted- 

 “FUCK OFF!!” 

 But even with his hands over my ears, it wasn’t very muted. The knock grew louder, more obnoxious. 

 “Sorry,” he grumbled, moving to open the door. When it opened, a boy wearing a snapback around the same height as Harry leant against the doorframe.

 “Wassup, man-” Snapback almost burst in.

 Harry’s back went stiff as the stranger’s snapback practically poked Harry in the eye. If their overcompensating confidence and too-familiar smile told me anything – freshmen. At least Snapback’s friend wore a Bond-inspired bow-tie t-shirt.

 Harry put a hand to Snapback’s chest, backing him back out of the room. They watched me walk up behind him.

 “Hey, relax man, we just wanted to get some zombies,” Bowtie bargained. 

 “You’ve got some fucking balls,” he snarled.

 My ears pricked. He was looking for the same thing, then. From Harry. My heart sunk to the lowest part of my belly after remembering why I’d come here in the first place. The sliver of hope I’d had was that maybe what Zayn had witnessed was just Harry’s past. A summer blunder. A summer fling with an illegal hobby. You know, some kids did drugs, some kids sold drugs... It was a ridiculously stupid comparison now that I thought about it. But still, I had hope. Now my undeniable denial was being shred up right in front of me.

 The cops, the gang, the drugs circulating campus…

 Harry had made his bed, and I was lying in it. 

 I squeezed past him.

 “Wait, are you leaving?” He still blocked his doorway.

 I ignored the pang of guilt I felt at his boyish disappointment. He looked at me, body still intimidatingly rigid, but his eyes, impossibly soft. Snapback tried to move past him again and Harry whipped his head back with a growl. “Get the fuck out of here.” 

 “Excuse me?” Bowtie came closer, puffing out his muscled chest. Testosterone, angst and alcohol were never the best combination. I grew nervous at the tension, looking from my escape at the end of the hall, back to Harry. 

 “C’mon, we have the cash. We’ll pay double!” Snapback whined, cornering him. 

 The words made me nauseous, conjuring the image of Viv sliding Harry the cash. I didn’t want to see this again. I didn’t want to see anything again.

 “I don’t do that shit anymore.” He strode through their barricade, determined, but Bowtie tugged him back. His nostrils flared and I could tell he was trying to keep his cool. He could ruin these guys if he wanted to. I don’t know why he was letting them keep him. But I also didn’t know why I didn’t run away. It was like watching a train wreck seconds before it happened.

 I stood alone, in the center of the hall, the only person on Harry’s horizon. A lighthouse hoping to steer the sailor home.

 “C’mon, please man, everyone’s talking about them. We just need one,” Snapback exhorted. He put up his hands, pleading. “We’ll split one. We’ll seriously cut it in half.” 

 Even from here, I could see the muscles in his neck tense. I tried doing to him what he did to everyone else. I trapped him, wide-eyed, anchoring him to me. He didn’t break our stare.

 As if each word scraped against his skull, “I said I don’t do that shit.”

 “That’s a fucking joke. Mark got some last week,” Bowtie barked.

 I saw the moment I lost him. In what world I thought I could be enough to harbor him, I had no idea. Harry snapped, kicking the steroid-pumped kid so hard in the knee, it knocked him down. It wasn’t a broken bone, but it’d leave one hell of a bruise.  

 “Dude, are you crazy?!” Snapback cried. 

 Harry raised his fist, bringing it flying. I gasped and hid my face. But I didn’t hear an impact. I faced them again.

 Harry’s fist froze inches before his cheek. Facing what would have been a badly broken nose, Bowtie shook on the floor. Slowly, ever so slowly, Harry relaxed his hovering fist and folded his arms, squatting next to the quivering guy. “You’re fucking welcome I was in a good mood ‘fore you came, otherwise I wouldn’t be acting so polite.”  

 The squeak of a floorboard shook Harry back to Earth. He caught me walking away and his whole body straightened, once again hyper-focused on me, trying to tune in and trap me exactly where I stood. Taking advantage of his distraction, Snapback and Bowtie ran for it. Bowtie limped, running into me and knocking me off-balance as he passed.

 In a second, it was just us. 

 “Y/N,” he began, walking towards me cautiously. 

 “No.” 

 He stopped in his tracks. He was tall, but his shoulders hung in despondent defeat.

 “You were right, Harry.” 

 I could see how tired he was. I could see the broken pieces fitting into something beautiful. He looked so sad and regretful, I already felt guilty for saying,

 “You can’t hide anymore.” And with one last look at the broken boy before me, “You are fucked.” 

 Suddenly, the beer on the floor was just stale and sticky. The couches were filthy from strangers’ mistakes. And the air would never be clear. Harry had been right. This entire house was filled with people who didn’t care and if they did, they were trying to forget; a place more empty than if it were vacant. It was a mess just like the boy living in it. And just like the grand house, impressive at first glance, not all of his parts were beautiful.

 I ignored the way his broken pieces seemed to shatter as soon as I said it and the way it hurt me ten-fold. I ignored him calling out my name as I maneuvered through the blur of bodies, until I lost his voice on the dance floor. I could breathe better outside and I walked past the cops without acknowledging them. 

 From complete chaos to relative quiet, my ears rung, filling the new silence.

 Maybe this was the last time we’d speak. Maybe this was how it all should’ve ended that first day in September. Because in that house, that wasn’t the Harry I thought I’d knew. That was a boy far-gone, confused, and I was falling down with him. I was ANGRY. I PITIED him. And I was angry for feeling something else I should never have felt for him.

 Somehow, in this fuzzy ringing world buzzing with heated thoughts and cop lights that blurred my vision, I heard a notepad scribble as soon as I passed a squad car. 

 Lucky for me, Momma always said I had selective hearing.

part 21

#fratboy! harry #fratboy!harry #harry styles smut #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles #one direction #1direction #one direction imagine #one direction smut #one direction one shot #harry imagine #harry styles preference #one direction preferences #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #onedirection #niall horan #zayn malik #louis tomlinson #liam payne #smut #fluff #angst #harry one shot

[squishyeth]

cam girl [g.d] au

SUMMARY: Y/n is the shy girl. Grayson Dolan is the most popular boy. What happens when Grayson finds out that the cam girl he’s been chatting with is the  girl that he sees everyday.

WARNING: sexual content (masturbation-male, p&v penetration, fingering), graphic language

NOTES: italics are flashbacks

WORD COUNT: 3.5k

*I DO NOT OWN ANY GIFS*

“You’re so sexy, Mistress.” Sexyboi69 moaned out as he was stroking his length. I continued to dance seductively.

“Are you going to cum?” I said, biting my lips and shaking my ass a little. With that, I see the white liquid spurt out and his loud moan fills the room.

“That was my best orgasm yet.” Sexyboi69 complimented as he cleaned his hand with a towel.

“Same time as tomorrow?” I asked, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“Of course” he replied, with a thumbs up. I can’t see his face, but from the sound of his voice, he’s probably smiling; smirking even. The call ended and my phone dinged. I lifted up my cat mask to see it was from venmo.

‘Sexyboi69 paid KittyMistress $300 for a good time ;)’

CURRENT DAY

Y/N’s POV

I sat in the back of English, doodling as the teacher rambles on about her personal life that no one seems to care about. When I begin shading in the kitty’s ears, the bell rings. 

“Don’t forget to read chapter 13 and be ready to discuss it tomorrow!” Mrs. Allen said as everybody was packing up their bags and leaving. I put my sketchbook away and beginning zipping up my backpack. I got up and made my way out of the class. I saw Grayson holding the door open because he was a little bit in front of me.

“Thank you” I said quietly and as I walked away, I heard a faint you’re welcome. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a crush on him. Hell, everybody does. Grayson and Ethan Dolan are the most popular boys in this shit hole of a school. They have every girl swooning over them. I just particularly like Grayson more. I’ve had a crush on Grayson since 7th grade. He has just never noticed me because we don’t come from the same “clique.”

LATER THAT DAY

I put on my cat mask I got from a Halloween store a few months back. That’s when I became a cam girl. I do it for the money because my family struggles with paying bills. They don’t know that I’m on an adult site or else they will lose it. All my parents know is that I babysit some kid who lives down the street. I post free videos on the site, but I charge for personal videos or a skype session. My most popular client is Sexyboi69. He only shows his crotch area, but I don’t mind because I never show my face. Speaking of, my skype went off and Sexyboi69 showed up on the laptop screen. I hit accept.

“Hey” I innocently said, sitting crossed leg on my bed.

“HI, Mistress.” He said, waving to the camera.

“How are you?” I asked, biting my lip. 

“Eh, school stresses me out nothing new” He replied, “Just need a release” He finished, stroking his hard on. It turned me on, but I don’t touch myself on camera. I save that for my alone time. 

“And that’s where I come in!” I replied, with a giggle; standing up.

“Would you consider taking off the mask just this once?” He asked. I froze in place and before I could react, I slammed the laptop shut.

‘Sexyboi69 paid KittyMistress $500 I’m sorry :(’

THE NEXT DAY

I sat in my usual spot, in the back. I don’t have many friends. That’s a lie, I have no friends. 

“Quiet down!” The teacher said loudly, snapping her fingers like we’re dogs. 

“Okay, I’m going to explain the final project for Taming of the Shrew and it’s a partnered project” she explained and everyone cheered, except me, I internally groaned. “Except I’m picking the partners.” She finished to which now made everybody groaned. I’m eh on this; at least I don’t have to do the picking. She started pairing the class until she got to me and the one person I did not want to work with is

“Grayson, you’ll be partnered with Y/n.” She said 

‘Fuck’ I mouthed, keeping my eyes glued to my sketchbook.

“Man, I wanted the smart one.” One guy shouted, which resulted in the class to laugh. Great, just because I’m quiet, everybody thinks I’m Einstein. Everybody scatters around to their respective work partner and I stay seated; he’s going to have to come to me because I am not getting up.

“Hey” I hear a male voice say. I look up to see it’s Grayson.

“Hi” I quietly reply. He seats in the desk in front of me.

“Did you draw this?” He asked, pointing at the cat girl. I nodded.

“It’s really good, I like it!” He replied, smiling.

“Thanks” I mumbled with a small smile.

“So about the project” he stated, “We could go to my house, but my parents don’t trust me enough to bring someone over so do you have anywhere we could go to work together?” he asked. 

“My parent’s don’t come home until like 8 so we could work at my house?” I suggested quietly, trying not to make a lot of eye contact.

“That will work! Do you drive?” He asked, I shook my head “bus” I stated.

“Not today.” He replied with a smile.

LATER THAT DAY

We pulled up my driveway and Grayson turns the car off and we both get out and walk across the dead grass.

“Your house is, nice” he hesitated to say. If old and torn down is nice then thanks I guess. I know he’s just trying to make small talk, but no talk would be better. I unlocked the front door and walked in, locking the door once Grayson was in. 

“My room is the first door on the right,” I explained “Do you want some water?” I asked

“Yes please” He replied with a smile and made his way down the hall. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the ice trays from the freezer. After I filled two cups with ice water, I made my way to my room. When I entered my room, I saw Grayson sitting on my bed, holding my cat mask with furrowed eyebrows. I panicked and dropped the cups. He jerked his head to me, still holding the mask.

“Um, can I see that mask?” I asked, ignoring the cold water I’m standing in.

“Yeah, sorry” He said, handing it to me “Do you need help cleaning this up?” He asked, pointing to the water puddle.

“Uh no it’s fine” I stuttered “I’ll get more water though.” I said while turning around leaving a clueless Grayson standing at my door.

‘I really hope he doesn’t know who KittyMistress is’ I thought to myself. He’s a teen boy with hormones. I shouldn’t have let him go in my room by himself. I don’t even want to know what people would if they find out about the person behind the mask of KittyMistress. I am so stupid.

MOMENTS LATER

After I cleaned up the mess, we got started on the project. Scratch that, I started the project. This always happens so I’m not mad. It may hurt a little more because this is my crush and he’s paying no attention to me. My phone vibrated from my lap. It’s skype.

‘I really am sorry about yesterday :(’ Sexyboi69 texted. I look up to see Grayson is busy texting.

‘It’s fine’ I texted

‘I won’t be able to video chat. School stuff.’ He texted back

‘That’s fine! :) I have a school project coming up so I probably won’t be available for the next couple of days’ I hit send before placing my phone back in my lap. I got back to writing a summary, but I felt a pair of eyes on me.

THE NEXT DAY 

Mrs. Allen let us work on the project in class. Of course, Grayson was talking to his friends across the classroom. The bell rang and I have never been happier. My stuff was already packed so I put my backpack on and briskly walked out of the classroom with my English notebook clutched in my arms. As I’m walking to my next class, my phone vibrates,

‘Hey :)’ Sexyboi69 texted. What? Why now?

‘Hello?’ I sent, entering my biology class. Grayson also has this class with me, but I sit in the front and he sits in the back.

‘Why ?’ He sent back, I felt a pair of eyes burning the back of my head so I turned around, but saw no one, I turned back around.

GRAYSON’s POV

I’m overthinking it. Y/n is not KittyMistress. KittyMistress is confident and wild and y/n is quiet and clumsy. She’s a cute clumsy though. I look up to see y/n turning her head around so I put my head back down and pretend I’m texting. It’s not like I have a crush on her or anything. I have a thing for KittyMistress. Well, it’s one sided; I really want to know the face of the sexy body I see everyday. The face under the same exact mask y/n owns. Then again anybody can own that mask; I’ve seen that exact mask at a Halloween store. There it’s settled; y/n is not KittyMIstress.

LATER THAT DAY

I’m back at y/n’s house and she’s working on the project. I should really start helping. When I open my mouth, I hear the front door and a woman’s voice,

“Y/n! Are you home?” The woman yelled.

“Shit” y/n whispered. The woman opened door when y/n stood up and we made eye contact.

“Oh. Who’s this handsome young man?” She asked, smiling. 

“Um, Grayson” y/n stuttered out, “We’re working on an English project together.” She finished, fidgeting with the hem of her hoodie. The woman, who I’m guessing is her mom asks me,

“Oh yay! Grayson, we would love to have to stay for dinner!” She exclaimed as if her daughter doesn’t bring home friends. She has friends, right? I looked over at y/n who was chewing at her bottom lip, nervously.

“I would love to” I replied, smiling. Her mother seems nice.

“Yay!” She exclaimed, while clapping “Your father should be home early, but dinner should be ready soon!” She said before closing the door behind her and leaving us alone.

“Your mom is nice.” I said, smiling which resulted in y/n groaning.

AN HOUR LATER

We were all seated at the tiny table. I don’t remember the last time I’ve eaten with my family, but this feels nice.

“So Grayson” y/n’s dad started off “How did you meet my daughter?” He asked, dabbing his face with a napkin.

“We’ve had the classes since middle school, sir, but we got partnered up this year on a final project.” I explained, he nodded and drank his water. I can see from the corner of my eye that y/n is blushing. She’s so cute.

“You know,” y/n’s mom says while covering her mouth to swallow “She’s always talking about how cute this Gra-” she continues, but is interrupted by y/n coughing.

“Sweetie, are you okay?” Her mother asks with concern and rubs her back. Y/n just nods and drinks some water.

“Oh what was I saying?” She says

“Honey, we probably shouldn’t overwhelm him with questions.” Her husband said with a chuckle. 

“You’re right” She sighed “I just got excited because our daughter never brings guests home” She finished.

“I have to use the restroom” y/n said and ran down the hall. 

MOMENTS LATER

“I’m sorry ab-” I started, but was cut off by y/n,

“It’s fine, just leave it alone” she muttered, writing a summary for the project; I nodded. I was being nosy and started to look around. I had a deja vu moment when,

“You looking for something?” y/n sassed, I was taken aback and just shook my head. 

Y/N’s POV

I don’t know what has gotten into me or where this wave of confidence came, but I kind of like it. Grayson actually helped on the project for once; it might of just been gluing the pages on the poster, at least he was quiet. After about half an hour of walking, Grayson announces,

“I better go home.” Right as he said that, lightening strikes and we both get an alert on our phones that read,

‘FLASH FLOOD WARNING THIS AREA TIL 11:30PM EST. AVOID FLOOD AREAS. CHECK THE LOCAL MEDIA.’

I looked out my window and just my luck, the streets looked like a lake.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I mumbled, he agreed.

“Do you have a guest room?” He asked, turning his head toward me.

“No, but you can take my bed” I offered, “I’ll sleep on the floor.” I said, getting up to get the extra blankets out of my closet. I told my mom I would never need to use them, but I can hear her in my head saying ‘I told you so!’

“No, it’s you’re ro-” He said, but I cut him off by placing my finger on his mouth, “No, you’re the guest and I swear to god if you fight me on this, I will make you swim home I don’t care.” I ranted. Jesus Christ, who let KittyMistress out? Where did this confidence come from?

"Who is this and why doesn’t she come out at school?” He joked, but there was some seriousness in it. I rolled my eyes playfully and continued to grab the blankets. If I’m sleeping on the floor, I’m going to make it as comfortable as possible.

“I’m going to change in the bathroom” I explained, “Try not to be nosy while I’m gone.” I joked and he saluted, making me giggle as I walk out of the room. After I change into a tank top and pajama shorts, I exit the bathroom and make my way towards my room. When I open the door, I see Grayson carefully running his fingers through my lingerie hanging up. You have got to be kidding me. Out of all things I have?

“What are you doing?!” I yell.

GRAYSON’s POV

I notice something lacy in the closet. Y/n’s words replay in my head, but I feel myself being drawn towards the closet. I can’t imagine y/n in something lacy or tight fitting even. I’m sure she has a nice body under all those hoodies she wears. As I approach the open closet, I see that it’s lingerie. My eyes have definitely popped out of my head. I can’t imagine y/n in stuff like this. I hear a jingle sound and see that there’s a collar with a bell on it.

‘Where have I seen this before?’ I think to myself with furrowed brows. My thoughts were interrupted by y/n,

“What are you doing?!” She yells. I’m just standing there; it can’t be her. She just rolls her eyes and snatches the lacy material out of my hands and walks away. Before my mouth can catch up with my brain I speak out,

“Mistress.” She stops dead in her tracks. Gotcha.

“What did you just say?” She asked, facing away from me.

“I had a feeling when I first came over, but I thought the mask was just a coincidence.” I explained, walking towards her; her breathing is now ragged,

“And then the texting” I whispered by her ear. She’s shivering at this point.

“Sexyboi69?” She whispered, dropping the items on the ground. I nodded with a smirk. I’ve been waiting for this moment. My fingers trailed up her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps. With her back still facing me, I slowly put my hand down her shorts and cup her pussy. Before I can feel her insides, the door knob starts to jiggle. I pull my hand out and she steps away from me.

“Hey, how are you guys?” Her mom says as she sticks her head in.

“Yeah, I was just making myself a bed on the floor” she explains, pointing to the makeshift bed. She nods while smiling and closes the door.

“The bed is big enough for the both of us” I said, smirking.

“Don’t you start with that” She jokingly replied with her finger pointing at me. I move towards her slowly and grip her wrist softly.

“I swear to god if you don’t stop looking at me like, I am going to cum in my pants.” I say as she blushes and replies,

“What look?” Like she doesn’t know. The innocent look that has every guy preying on her. It’s like my mouth has a mind of its own and next thing I knew, my lips were on hers. She was taken aback at first, but then relaxed under my touch. Our lips moved in sync and I find my hands wandering all over her body. 

“Are you sure you want to do this with a virgin?” She asks as I leave sloppy kisses on the base of her neck.

“There is nothing sexier than a virgin.” I replied and meant it. She seems to have a burst of confidence because she tossed me on the bed and straddled me. Her confidence never fails to turn me on. I pull down her tank top so that her breasts are spilling out. I begin to knead them and suck on them as her back arches and lets out a moan. 

“You are so fucking hot” I state, making my way back to her lips. My hand slides down her shorts and rubbing her clit before pumping finger in her. She moans in my ear which turns me on even more if it’s even possible at this point. Her hand is bunching up my shirt as I add another finger. 

“So tight.” I compliment and rewarded with a moan. I rub her clit with my thumb and I see her eyes roll so she must be close. Just as suspected, I feel a sticky substance coating my fingers and y/n collapses beside me.

“How was that?” I asked, laying next to her.

“What about your problem?” She asked, eyeing my very painful boner.

“As much as I would love those pretty lips around my cock, I need to be inside that pretty pussy.” I said, getting on top of her. She gasps and blushes at my words. My lips meets hers and she begins to undo my belt. 

“Why in a hurry?” I said, smirking and holding her hands down in the bed. She surprises me by flipping us over. Goddamn how is she so strong. 

“Because I’m in charge and you will address me as Mistress.” She stated, pinning my hands down.

"What are you going to do to me, Mistress?” I asked, lifting my head up from the bed. She smirks and rubs my hard cock through my jeans. I hiss and say,

“If you do that again, I am going to have a wet spot on my jeans.” She just continues to rub my dick before unbuckling my belt and sliding off my jeans, leaving me in my boxers and shirt. She gets off of me and then walks over to her drawer and digs around and pulls out what looks like a box of condoms.

“If you’re a virgin then why do you have a box of condoms?” I genuinely asked.

“What do you think?” She sarcastically replied. Her mom. I played it off with a laugh when she opened the new box and pulled out a condom. She walks over and hands it to me. I look at her confused.

“I don’t know how to put one on.” She shyly says, which makes me smile.

“Here” I say, taking the condom from her hand and taking it out of the package. I pull down my boxers and I see y/n’s eyes go wide from the side.

“Come here” I whispered, holding out my hand; which she takes and I put her back on my lap. “Give me your hands” I continued, guiding her hands on the condom to slide it down my dick.

“Is this going to fit?” She whispers

“We’ll see” I reply, flipping us so she’s beneath me, “Let me know if it’s hurt” I say and she nods. I slowly begin to push myself and see a tear run down her cheek. Y/n grabs the back of my head and begins kissing me, which is my queue to go deeper. When I’m balls deep in her, we both let out a throaty moan. 

“Please go faster” She whimpers in my neck.

“Your wish is my command” I whisper in her ear and begin thrusting at a faster pace. Her moans sounds pornographic as the sound of rain and my balls slapping fill the room. I reach my hand down to her clit and rub it in a circular motion. She starts shaking and I feel myself starting to climax. Before I knew it, I’m seeing stars and my load fills the condom. I stay in her warmth for a little longer before laying next to her and discarding the condom.

“How was that?” I asked, out of breath and facing her. She replies, still out of breath, but with a goofy smile,

“Better than porn.”

#grayson dolan #grayson dolan smut #grayson bailey dolan #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan blurb #dolan twins #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins blurb #dolan twins smut #blurb #imagine #smut

[derenger]

Growing up, parenting and gaming - Longread on life, computer games and finding yourself

This longread is dedicated to and written for all those current and former kids, who had or have troubles growing up, taking decisions, finding themselves in the world they live in, who play games independently of age and – perhaps – have not lost their love for a good game, good times and good buddies.

Perhaps it will help someone in their life. If that happens – I shall think of this writing as useful and my time writing it as not completely wasted.

The ideas have been on my mind for over 2 years now (they started getting very clear when I started doing therapy) and I have to put them on paper now.

Here it goes.

I grew up in the 90s in Eastern Europe. After the USSR collapsed millions of people found themselves without work, perspectives and means of existence. We were lucky that my dad had a good job that was paid in hard currency, however he was barely home – and by that I mean like seeing him 2 or 3 times a month.

We had good living conditions compared to others and my mom did the best she could too take care of my younger bro and me.

The first time we were exposed to computer games was when I was like 7 and my bro was 5 – in the office where the boyfriend of our aunt has been working. We played Dangerous Dave, Scorched Earth, Socoban, Digger, Civilization, The Incredible Machine and some others I do not recall the names. And of course, we liked it and it did not take long for our dad to install them on his PC at home. 2 years later my best buddy got Doom 2 installed on his PC and that was the absolute blast. We spent weeks trying to figure out how to get through level 2 and it was a big holiday when our buddy finally did.

My dad tried to restrict TV and computer time per week, so we always opted for the PC. Over time I learned to turn it on by myself and play when there was no one at home. My dad did not know.

A couple of our friends had 8bit consoles - soviet bootlegs of Super Nintendoes, with TMNT and Chip n Dale, but that was probably it. After all, we were living in a small village with not that many possibilities to make money.

When I was 10 we moved to a bigger city into a 1 room apartment. All 4 of us. This was 1996. 2 other very important things:

We started going to a far bigger school than before, where the mood was totally different from what we were used to. We were bullied and beaten, could not get along with other pupils and teachers and no one actually cared.

Father was home every day.

We started going to a far bigger school than before, where the mood was totally different from what we were used to. We were bullied and beaten, could not get along with other pupils and teachers and no one actually cared.

Father was home every day.

I mean, father was present home every day. It is not like he spent time with us doing sports or whatever. He just had any idea what to do with us as this was his first long time exposure to kids in the 11 years we were a family.

He was more of an authoritarian guy – we were not supposed to waste time in gaming clubs, listen to stupid music (Prodigy, Beastie Boys), we should have studied well, read books, have been doing sports and in general act like good kids.

We were doing some martial arts sports cause mom brought us there. We were taking music classes cause “everyone has to”. We were supposed to help out at home. We were not supposed to hang out with “bad” kid or stay outside till late hours. We were not supposed to smoke, swear and simulate illness to miss classes. We were not supposed to get into trouble.

It is not like we were putting a lot of thought into it. We just moved to the city from rural area and frankly speaking were absolutely not happy about. I guess we just went with the flow.

This was also the time when the first “gaming spot” in town opened – they had 2 Sega Mega Drives II and 1 Sony PlayStation. MK3, MK3 Ultimate, Contra Hard Cops, Golden Axe, some samurai fighting games for the Sega. SPS – Red Alert, Twisted Metal, Duke Nukem, Doom and of course – an incredible breakthrough for its time – Quake 2. And that was a revelation. I recall mom giving us money from time to time. To go play. Sega cost like 1 buck and hour, SPS – 1,5 bucks – far more expensive, so we played mainly on Sega.

At the same time we did have some games at home – Doom, Power Formula 1, Lines, the same Civilization, Lion King, Alladin, Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, Gods and Dune 2000. Dad did not want to allow us play games. Like, at all. Don’t ask me why he never deleted the games. The PC was mainly used for him to work. So when he left home, he took the power cable of the monitor and closed it in his spare suitcase. What we did was to unplug the cable from the printer and use for the monitor. Later on he hid both cables – from the monitor and the PC in the suitcase. I found a way to open the suitcase with a very fine flat screwdriver. Mom hid the fact from our dad for a while until he noticed the suitcase was “broken”. I believe they did not speak with each other for a week. But I am still proud of the fact of cracking that suitcase! Fuck yeah!

Things started getting worse when I transferred to a lyceum - 1998. I was 12. This was like a gymnasium for hardcore science-kids, where they went deep into math and natural sciences. I was hysterical the first 2 years as I was barely making the program. Even my dad had troubles solving the math they gave us. Music classes turned to shits. I had no time nor mood for sport. But I had to keep doing it all. Just because. There were a couple of bullies in class, whose parents bribed the management of the school so that their kids would have fancy graduation papers at the end and frankly speaking no one could get a grip on them. That had me very depressed.

Around 13 I started stealing money from my parents and missing classes to go to computer clubs – their number was getting bigger every week, consoles started to disappear. Half Life, CS 1.6, Age of Empires 2, Q3, D2 1.07, Black and White, SimCity 2000, NOX, StarCraft Brood War and many other games had our full attention. The biggest part of it was the fact you could play with or against your friends! That was so fucking awesome! At the same time I started discovering sci-fi and rock music, but that is a different story.

We stole a lot of money from our parents in those times and missed a lot of classes and of course after 3 or 4 months it all got revealed. Boy oh boy our dad smoked us. That was very very tough for a kid when all the things he actually liked were taken from him. Dark times when we were seriously asking ourselves what the hell our parents wanted from us as aside from the stuff they told us to do they never really told us what was it for. Everything else was useless, stupid or waste of time.

Somehow my marks at school got better closer to graduation and I graduated almost with a medal, went to university. I remember they had this PC club with like 200 PCs and from time to time we skipped one or the other lecture to play Starcraft or CS, but very quickly boozing with buddies became the major leisure activity and pushed gaming to the back. I did pretty well at the university, made my master with excellence and that was it – 6 years flew by in a blink of an eye.

I got my own PC during the first year at the uni, played a bit of Warcraft 3, HOMM 3, Quake 3, Lineage II but it was not like I was deep into that. I remember after defending my master I spent like 3 days playing Crysis without anyone saying a word. I mean, I was through with the university. I was free!

Soon after that I went on to work abroad as a project engineer in the chemical industry.

At the moment I am doing sales engineer for a good salary in Berlin, I am married and except for the Corona and all the restrictions it brought life seems ok.

During the last 10 years of my “adult” life I have been in many different situations. I have been very sick a couple of times, running on the edge of life and death. I have been in some useless relations that only drained energy and nerves from me. I also have been diagnosed with depression and burnout at some point, did therapy and consider myself fully recovered from both. I’ll be summarizing it all below.

When I look at my life it did occur to me that gaming was far more important than just the sheer desire to shoot buddies and skip school.

Growing up under the conditions where everything is predetermined one does not really get the chance to expose your own wish. After all, my parents both come from very unhappy families and did not have the exactly best examples of parenting.

It occurred to me that they never really cared about anything we achieved – whether in school, music or sports. I recall a couple of times when I did really good, like winning the City-contest in English language or getting my first “good” in algebra in 7th grade as that shit was extremely tough. I do not recall any reaction. In fact, mom and dad put their close attention to us only when things started getting really bad, like when we were skipping classes or got arrested for setting up fireworks in a crowded place. We never really got any positive feedback for anything we did because our parents just had no idea how to do that. I do not blame them – they were trying their best from their own experience.

And gaming was the absolute opposite to all of that.

Going to computer clubs we knew exactly that we were surrounded by like-minded lads. We made some good friends along the way – lads, who were always ready to jam on de_dust or bring their D2 chars to share some loot. One of the owners of the club had a daughter who was really good in Q3 – I remember everyone has been looking at her like she was some sort of demigod. The games gave us the space and playground we needed so much – clear even rules for everyone. If you frag – you win. If you don’t – you lose. If you suck – the older guys would always help with a couple of tips. Games also gave us control. I really liked the games where you went on an adventure, like NOX or Will Rock or serious Sam. Gaming also gave us the space to take our own decisions and suffer the full consequences if these were wrong – getting overrun by zerglings or getting fragged with rocket launcher with QUAD DAMAGE.

Gaming clubs were our safe space. At some point our dad did raid the computer clubs and did bust us a couple of times. Sure we got beaten on those occasions.

I recall my bro being very proud on getting 1st in the national 2v2 ladder in SC:BW later in the uni. He also used to game the whole night long at my parents place. This was over 10 years ago and they still do not know. He is still very good in SC though he does not play anymore.

I do play sometimes – currently grinding D2 and refreshing my knowledge in chess. I do not have more time for any other more or less serious game.

I am slowly approaching the point where I should write a conclusion – it is going to be quite simple. Gaming was the first opportunity to take my life into my own hands. It took me 32 years of my own life to find the power in me to take responsibility for myself and not to rely on someone else. My decision – my choice – my consequences. It took a lot of trouble and turmoil for me to get to this point and finally embracing the power within feels great. It was also the first surrounding of dudes just like me, which was a very good feeling back then.

During the last 6 months I switched to a job that pays almost the double of my previous one, my wife moved in with me from abroad, we have a nice apartment and are looking forward to vacations in the Alps. I still have to find a way to approach my parents though I am not sure the old hive is worth disturbing. I guess time will tell.

Whenever I am down or things do no go according to play – I do turn to gaming occasionally, just to get back into the world where I am in full control. It gives me power and I guess hope that everything will work out. If not now – then over time. You just have to keep practicing. And ask for help when it is needed.

I hope you found this read interesting.

#life #gaming #adulthood #friends

[hearttohandtopaper]

G o n e

You’re just here one day, laying in the sun, getting ready to go to work. & the next day you’re gone, out of sight but never out of mind.

It hasn’t even been a month yet but the pain is changing. It seems more real now. No more hugs, or your smell. I bought a bottle of our high school perfume, you wore Paris Hilton’s self named perfume until halfway through grade 9 when her and Nicole’s show “the simple life” got annoying to us. You started wearing touch of pink and I’d steal sprays. First cause it smelled good, but after as comfort. I bought a bottle after you guys moved out. No women in the house anymore.

You’re gone and everything comes flooding back. Each carefully placed visit on my birthday and checking in. You always worried about my wellbeing especially after you saw me in the hospital. I cried the whole time and you never let me forget. When I went in for surgery you told me not to let kayle see me like that because it was embarrassing lol. You were embarrassed for me. You said I was strong and have gotten so far now. You were excited for where I’d go next.

You helped me shave my legs the first time. I stole you or your moms razor and cut up my legs. You asked what happened and I told you, meagrely, as I was sitting on your bedroom floor , which was bright aqua green) in my makeshift bed staring at the carpet that I didn’t know how to shave. You told me what direction to go for shaving for each part. And to use shaving cream. You bought me seventeen and told me to wear less eyeliner. I didn’t listen. I looked terrible, like a tired raccoon in pictures until i was 22. You ripped yourself out of most pictures before 16 because you hate what you looked like. Kevin and I still have photos where there’s a ripped half.

You ripped yourself out of photos not knowing you’d be ripped from us. The other half of the photos gone, the other half (the rest) of my life with it. The part where you’re here to help me through babies and marriage and being an idiot. The part where I’m sick and need someone to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. The part where we grow old together and I force feed you my baked goods. Every Friday as kids you taste testing my newest pie or cupcake and complaining I was making you fat. You were a bean pole standing at almost 6am by the time you were 16. My sister to share my life with, one of the people that would never disappear or go away. Even if I was a shitty person , or ended up doing shitty things. You would’ve been there Kelly. And now you’re not.

I cry for all you don’t get to experience. Kids. Being a mom. Marriage. Being a wife. Being an aunt. Travelling more. Reaching your goal weight or reaching your best life weight. Impressing us with your muscles, the sporadic moments we’d compare our back flexes through photos.

And you were happy. So very happy. I know you were. I saw it in our last visit, sept 13. You came over on the warm fall day and just hung out. I hugged you and awkwardly kissed your face to embarrass you. I loved teasing you. I loved being your sibling and annoying you. I loved making each other better people . All the pieces of me you created without me even realizing. All the forced exercise classes, and now I love to workout. Yoga became my sanity after you forced me through hot yoga and pairs classes. Convincing me to try “Two scoops” on our plush carpet floor between our beds at 15. The sad real life novels you shoved down my throat in grade 6. I cried and said I didn’t want to finish but you said it’s real life and it’s sad sometimes. After dying my hair every colour you told me it was time to go back blonde. That everyone, including you loved my blonde hair and to go back to that. My appeal to healthy eating when you decided to lose weight in high school. You made me try vegetables and all your weird snack ideas like peanut butter on celery, it’s still never been my thing. You showed me 13 going on 30 and sisterhood of the travelling pants. You liked happy endings. I want to think you got a happy ending in some twisted way.

You spent your last day exercising and got a massage. You snapped a bunch of your friends and you were smiling and sweaty. Proud. You were happy with Dan and your new job. You were happy Kevin and I had figured our shit out. You were happy you had your own kitchen and could eat squash pasta or healthy freshii meals whenever you wanted. You tried multiple times to convince me to try it .

You loved me. You loved being my sister. You tell me all the struggles between our families were worth it. Worth having me. You were there for everything Kelly, every milestone that lead to here. And now your loss is a milestone. I have you here with me and don’t know how I could hold you any closer. Close my eyes and picture you at 6’ with perfect makeup and balayage blonde hair. Smiling. Your long dresses and soft perfumes. You are here with me and I can hold onto that for a bit. But then I must wake up or open my eyes.. and you’re ...

You’re just... gone ..

#poetry #writer #sad #sister #missyou #rant #latenightwords #love

[queen-of-deans-booty]

No Distractions

Characters: Rock Star!Dean Winchester x Reader, minor characters

Word Count: 1,459

Warnings: none

Summary: With Dean being so busy with his career, he loses sight of what’s really important--and who.

Squared Filled: Vegas // Rock Star!Dean

Author’s Note: I know some of you have requested fics, and I promise I will get to them. I just need to finish these bingos before the deadline in June/July of this year. I am also trying to post daily again so bear with me. This is for @spngenrebingo and @spnaubingo and this is unbeta’d and any and all mistakes are all on me.

Feedback the glue that holds my writing together

Tags at the bottom

Pre-school: his tiny hands would bang on any surface that he could reach, making as much noise as possible. Much to the daycare teacher’s displeasure, he would be in his own little world, slapping his hands on all kinds of surfaces because he loved the different kind of noises it made.

Third grade: to pass the time in class, he would take two number 2 pencils and drum them against the desk, causing a distraction for the whole class. The teacher would get mad at him, but you’d watch in amazement that he could make music just by two orange pencils. The kids around him seemed to be more interested in him than the teacher which is why she threatened to send him to the front office if he didn’t put them away.

Seventh grade: by this time, his parents had given up and bought him a small drum kit, one that wasn’t very good, but was still able to keep him occupied. He’d be at the drum set every day after school, and you would be there next to him, doing your homework as you listened to the music he’d create from scratch. It was amazing how long he’d kept up this hobby, and he’d talked to you about making this his career one day. With just enough practice, he might get there.

Eleventh grade: he had joined high school band to play the drums for the first year, but it didn’t seem to click in his mind. He wanted to play more rock than what they were going for which is why he was interested in music class. They offered all kinds of instruments, and he was the first to grab the drums once he laid eyes on a real drum set. Playing acoustic guitar was something you picked up on over the years, and that instrument was yours. To be honest, you just took the class to watch him play.

Junior year of college: right from the start of college, he had found some friends to form a band that would play around the school, maybe participated in a few low-key gigs that paid pretty well for an up and coming starter band. You had been his supporter all throughout his life, and you weren't going to stop now. At this rate, he would become a rock and roll drummer, famous all around the world. Seeing him progress through his career is something that gave you joy because he was your best friend, and you would do anything you could to see him succeed.

Present day: Dean had been offered by many recording companies if he and his band would produce music, which, of course, he said yes. It was hard to pick only one, but you might have had something to do with that. While he wanted to be a musician, you have always wanted to be a producer, and you pulled some strings to get him the producer he wanted: you.

It was a dream come true to see him live it out on stage, playing for thousands of people only to rack it up to millions. From the start of preschool, he had wanted nothing more than to be a drummer, and now he’s gotten it, you weren't going to do anything to tear that away from him. He’s played on stages from all around the world, and at each event, you were backstage to watch him play.

The only downfall to this was the more popular he became, the less time you got to be alone with him. It was always play here, sign this, appear there. His happiness was your number one priority, but sometimes you wished you were back in his mom’s basement, watching him play on the shitty drum kit his mom gave him.

His latest gig, the one he scored in Vegas, he wanted you to be there for the opening night. There was no way you could say no to him, so you made sure to take the first flight you could to be there on time before they even got started setting up to see if you could score some alone time with him.

When you got there, that dream was crushed to a million pieces once you saw him surrounded by fans. He looked so happy to be signing their papers and taking pictures, and he looked so breathtakingly gorgeous, you decided to stay out of it until he was done. When he finally finished, it was time to get set up on stage.

The concert had been a hit, and afterward, there would be a small party at one of the casinos to celebrate the success of it all. He made sure you were coming to that, and it wasn’t like you were going to miss it. Maybe you might get in some alone time to tell him how you truly felt. It broke your heart that your best friend was being taken from you by the rest of the world, and you needed to tell him how you felt now before it was too late.

While at the casino, the whole band got together to have a few drinks before they all went on their separate ways to do their own thing. You found Dean huddled with a group of girl fans as they giggled away to try and impress him. Sighing, you took a seat at one of the games, frowning as you put in a twenty.

“Ladies, you can all get your pictures. Don’t worry,” Dean smiled as they giggled. They were pretty and nice and all that, but he really wanted to be spending time with only one person: his best friend.

“You did so well on that stage,” one woman fawned.

“Yeah, you really know what you’re doing there,” another smirked. Something told him to look away from the girls, to pay attention to what was in front of him. He looked up to see you trying your luck at one of the slots, with a sad frown on your face.

“Ladies, would you excuse me one minute?” he said as he gently pushed them to the side. He walked to you and took a seat at the other slots next to yours. “Hey, you okay?”

“No, Dean, I’m not okay,” you gathered the money you won and got up, leaving his side to be on your own. It broke your heart to treat him this way, but you really missed your best friend. He watched as you walked off to the VIP section and took a seat, taking out your phone to absentmindedly play on it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked once he reached you.

“Don’t you have fans to take pictures with? Sign some things?” you asked, not looking at him.

“Y/N talk to me,” he sighed. The VIP section was empty which boosted your confidence a little bit.

“I fucking miss you, Dean. Do you know how long it has been since the two of us hung out?”

“We did before the show.”

“I meant alone, Dean. Don’t you miss the days where it was you and me, your drum set, and nothing else? Don’t get me wrong, I am so fucking proud of you for making it this far. I just… I miss you,” you sighed sadly.

“I guess I got caught up with everything, that I lost sight of who was truly by my side through it all. I’m so sorry.”

“And I better say this now because I don’t know when I might get another chance, but I love you. Like, romantically. I didn’t want to live my life without telling you that just in case you might feel the same way as I do.”

“Alright, here goes. For the past few weeks, I have been thinking about you romantically. You have always been there for as long as I can remember, never once giving up hope on my dreams. People said that what I wanted was a foolish dream, that I should think about something practical, but you never gave up on me. I hate that it took me this long to realize it, but I do love you,” he smiled, “romantically.”

“We should make a pact,” you stated, grabbing his hand. “We will spend one day a week where it’s just me and you, no distractions. If we’re going to make this work, we need to be there for one another. I don’t want to mess this up before it’s even starting.”

“I like that pact,” he grinned, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you in. At that moment, the other people in the room didn’t matter. You had Dean and he had you. Just like it has always been.

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[kanasmusings]

[Translation] QUELL “Matchless People” Track 3 - Part 2

Here’s part 2 of Track 3! This time, it focuses on Ichiru’s side of the fight ^^ I hope that the first part didn’t end in too much of a cliffhanger XD It runs from where part 1 left off until the end of the track.

Thank you again to Deea for the files~! Please don’t ask her for them as per her request and please don’t ask if I’ll be sharing mine as well, thank you ^^

※ Please don’t re-post these translations without permission. Instead of reposting, please just like/reblog instead ^^

Under the cut, enjoy~!

[11:03]

(Shu knocks on Ichiru’s door)

SHU: Ichiru, are you awake? Eichi made some delicious miso soup so I brought you some.

SHU: There’s some rice balls, too. A lot of things happened so I figured you’d be hungry.

(door opens)

SHU: (smiles) Ichiru.

ICHIRU: You’re… back home early today, Shu…

SHU: Yeah, I guess I am.

ICHIRU: I still haven’t told you this yet…

ICHIRU: Welcome home.

SHU: (chuckles) I’m home.

ICHIRU: That… I’ll have some.

SHU: Yes, please do. I ate some a while ago and it’s really delicious.

ICHIRU: Did Issei tell you to come check on me…?

SHU: No, I came here on my own and I volunteered to talk to you.

SHU: I wanted to talk to you.

ICHIRU: With me? About what…? Lecturing me?

SHU: (smiles) No. About a lot of things.

ICHIRU: Well… I don’t mind.

ICHIRU: I’ll go sit on the bed so sit wherever you like.

SHU: Speaking of, it’s been a while since I’ve been in your room.

ICHIRU: Is that so?

SHU: It’s pretty clean, isn’t it?

ICHIRU: I just don’t have that much stuff.

SHU: Is there something that you want?

ICHIRU: Hm… Nothing much.

ICHIRU: I mean, there are times when I want games but Tsubasa has them already so, yeah.

ICHIRU: Ah, when there are clothes and shoes that I like from photoshoots, I usually just look at them on the mail order site.

ICHIRU: There are a lot so I haven’t actually… been able to buy that many.

SHU: It’s money you earn for yourself so you’re free to spend it how you like, you know?

ICHIRU: Well, that’s true but… When I’m faced with it, I actually start double thinking whether I actually really want it or not.

SHU: You’re quite a thrifty person, huh?

ICHIRU: Not really. I just don’t know anything good to actually spend it on.

ICHIRU: It’s really just me thinking twice about buying this and that when I don’t think I’d even use it that much.

[13:18]

  (Ichiru start eating)

ICHIRU: This miso soup is so delicious…!

SHU: It’s Eichi’s proud creation after all. It seems like he made everything, even the broth.

ICHIRU: That guy really can do anything, huh.

ICHIRU: You know? If I’m being honest, I thought myself someone who’s handy, too.

ICHIRU: I have some confidence in things that use the body.

SHU: Well, it’s true that you have outstanding athletic abilities and you’re dexterous, too.

SHU: Plus, there’s your sharp intuition as well.

ICHIRU: I may not look it but I got good grades at school for P.E, music, and arts, you know?

ICHIRU: Though… I didn’t do too well in things that really required studying…

SHU: It’s not because you’re bad at studying. I think it’s a lot closer to you just ignoring things you’re not interested in.

SHU: There’s quite a difference between them.

ICHIRU: I mean, I can’t do my best in things I’m not interested in, right?

ICHIRU: Ah, but Shu seems like he can do anything.

SHU: There are things that I can’t do and things that I can’t do my best in, too, you know?

ICHIRU: Like what?

SHU: Let’s see… I’m still bad at corporate parties. Especially when the higher-ups start getting lively and drinking.

SHU: Even if everyone’s having fun, I can’t seem to enjoy the atmosphere and there are a lot of times when I turn down invites.

SHU: I know that it’s good for my job but still.

ICHIRU: Ahh… But, isn’t not being able to drink alcohol a constitution? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of “not wanting to do it”?

SHU: Even if they already know, there are times when they insist.

ICHIRU: Ah… That’s… I think I can kinda understand…

ICHIRU: You know, Issei’s very… serious.

ICHIRU: That’s why when we’re trying something new, he plans ahead so much before going with it.

ICHIRU: I’m the type who doesn’t concern myself much with things like that so I do things my own way.

ICHIRU: There are times when I finish mine faster and with good results.

ICHIRU: But, there are also a lot of times when I give up when it doesn’t go well.

ICHIRU: Issei doesn’t experience that much. He can do just about what he sets his mind to.

ICHIRU: And he’s really amazing to be able to plan ahead. I can’t compare at all.

ICHIRU: We’re twins and we look so alike but we’re different on the inside.

ICHIRU: We’re really not alike. I think that’s a given since we’re different people but…

ICHIRU: It… frustrates me sometimes.

ICHIRU: Even though I want to be able to do things well, too…

SHU: I know how that feels.

ICHIRU: You don’t have to force yourself to sympathize.

SHU: I’m not.

SHU: I know because there’s someone I admire, too.

ICHIRU: Eh? You do?!

SHU: Is that strange?

ICHIRU: N-no, it’s not really but… I see…

SHU: I respect him more than anyone and I want to be able to earn his respect.

SHU: I want to stand beside him and not lose my place. And yet, I’m always looking at his back and I can’t catch up no matter what.

ICHIRU: Yeah, it feels like that.

SHU: Even though I know the advice he gives is correct, when I think of our positions, it just kind of irritates me.

ICHIRU: I totally understand! I know that what Issei says is correct. I’m the one who should know that best and yet…

SHU: Correct?

ICHIRU: Of course he’s right. Anything I think of is most of the time just gut feeling but Issei’s different.

ICHIRU: He thinks it through and comes up with a solid reason. That’s why he’s right.

ICHIRU: Even during the beginning when I was wondering whether to go with you or not, Issei said “Let’s try,” that I made a decision [to go].

ICHIRU: Though I thought that you were very suspicious.

SHU: (chuckles) Oh yeah, that happened.

ICHIRU: It’s not a laughing matter. I was really worried, you know?

ICHIRU: But… Wasn’t he correct?

SHU: I guess so. It’s because you came with me that we became QUELL. And even now, I’m still thankful for that.

ICHIRU: Though, I had my doubts that you were deceiving us when we first got to Tokyo.

SHU: When did you start trusting me?

ICHIRU: When Issei first sang QUELL’s very first song.

ICHIRU: I didn’t know that Issei could sing that well.

ICHIRU: Ah, speaking of, I wanted to ask this. Did you know that Issei can sing like that, Shu…?

SHU: I thought that you two had the potential to debut but… It’s not like I had a concrete grasp of what you could do.

SHU: To be honest, I was surprised, too. He surpassed my expectations.

ICHIRU: You know, I was very surprised! I totally didn’t know that Issei could sing like that.

ICHIRU: Even though we were always together…

ICHIRU: It was a huge shock but, I knew at that moment that we both found something we could try our best in.

ICHIRU: I really thought that “this is good.”

SHU: I see.

ICHIRU: Ahhhh!! (groans) I know that I can’t compare to Issei at all but—

ICHIRU: But, somehow… It’s frustrating, huh?!

ICHIRU: I know that I can’t help that Issei’s amazing but… Sometimes, it makes me wanna say, “Hey, even I can do things properly, too!” y’know?

ICHIRU: I overdid it today again…

ICHIRU: Ah, geez! Why am I talking to you about this? I’m so uncool.

SHU: I’m happy that you talked to me.

ICHIRU: Why are you happy when I’m being so helpless like this? You’re so weird.

ICHIRU: (smiles) But, I kinda wanna see your weaknesses, too~

SHU: (chuckles) Please let that slide.

ICHIRU: Eh~? What? It’s so unfair that only you get to act cool.

ICHIRU: But, I guess, since you feel the same way, I’ll let it slide.

SHU: Thank you.

ICHIRU: Just a bit, ‘kay?!

ICHIRU: That’s why… I want you to talk more about that kinda thing from now on…

ICHIRU: I’ll try to do so as much as I can, too…

SHU: I got it. I promise.

SHU: Oh yeah, Ichiru. Let’s make it a pinky promise.

ICHIRU: Eh? What’s with that? I’m not a kid anymore.

SHU: I never got the chance to do it when I was a kid. I’ve always wanted to try it.

ICHIRU: I got it. Here.

SHU/ICHIRU: Pinky promise, if you tell a lie, you’ll have to drink a thousand needles. (2)

SHU/ICHIRU: (laughs)

  ==END==

Translator’s Notes:

(2) This is actually the Japanese version of the pinky swear. It goes “yubikiri genman, uso tsuitara, hari senbon nomasu/ 指切拳万、嘘ついたら針千本呑ます”. [Source]

※ Please don’t re-post the English translations without permission.

If you enjoyed this, please consider buying me a ko-fi here to support my work if you want. (o^▽^o)Thank you!!

#quell #quell translations #my translations #tsukipro #drama cd #oh wow #ichiru has so much more self control than most of us when it comes to buying things XD #i wish to be like that someday lol

[criminalhotch]

“Going the Distance”~An Ethan Dolan Imagine

Can you make an imagine where you’re dating Ethan and you’re like half way across the country in ur state and see the sister squad and the whole Emma and Ethan thing; and you end up like unintentionally ignoring Ethan and everyone because you’re like hurt?? And confused?? And mad?? And all of a sudden he like gets fed up and just comes to see u and and it’s all angsty

Don’t know if you taking writing ideas but I just thought of one: Y/N, Grayson, Ethan, and Emma go back to Jersey. Everyone is loving Y/N and Ethan feels like no one is like Emma. It causes a lot of problems between Ethan and Grayson bc Ethan is rude toward Y/N bc he feels it is her fault on my no one seems to like Emma. In the end, Ethan and Y/N talk everything out. Thanks! Your writing is like flawless! ❤️

A/N: Thank you to the two people who sent in these requests. It was going to be really hard to make two separate storylines so I combined them! Long distance sucks, my best friend lives 11 hours away from me and I only see him a couple times a year. This one isn’t my favorite but it matches the requests. I hope you guys like it! 

Warnings: Angst, fluff, cursing, nothing major

Word Count: 4,454

 I sat in my apartment in my home state. I was miles upon miles from my boyfriend, Ethan Dolan. We had been together a year, but the fans didn’t know. I wasn’t famous, Ethan didn’t want me to get hate because it was a long-distance relationship only making it worse. I hadn’t seen him in three months. Every time they go home to New Jersey I have a big test, so I can never go. I adore his family. I miss him more than anything. I love him I do but distance is so hard. They travel so often it makes it even harder. He does treat me so well. We call, text, snapchat, and FaceTime all of the time. He sends me things to my apartment just because he misses me but with school there’s just never a good time for us to see each other. I decided that I would Facetime him. “Facetiming Turtle Man”. It then stopped ringing meaning he declined it. Soon enough, my phone dinged with a text from him. “Filming a vid with Emma, Gray, and James. I’ll call you later, baby. Love you” it read. Emma, imagine that. No wonder everyone is shipping them. My thoughts made me that I shouldn’t respond.

 A couple of hours later I looked at my phone with two missed calls from Ethan. I had decided to take a relaxing bath and left my phone on the counter. I thought about calling him back, but I was tired. I knew that us talking would only end in a fight or with me crying, probably both. I decided it was best to just go to bed and I did just that. I threw on some sweats and one of Ethan’s shirts that I had even though it had lost his scent months ago. The next morning, I woke up at 8:02 and my first class is at 8:30. It was also a 15-minute walk from my apartment to my class. I threw my hair in a bun, kept the clothes on I wore to bed, brushed my teeth, then left. I got to my class with three minutes to spare. I decided to check my phone. Three missed calls from Grayson and 12 from Ethan. As well as four texts from Grayson and 21 texts from Ethan. Unfortunately, I had no service in this building so responding was not an option and to make it worse this class is three hours long. I guess they will just have to wait.

 Ethan’s POV (Last Night after filming)

“Has Y/N responded to you?” I asked Grayson. “No, you?” he asked. “No, and it worries me” I admitted. “She might have fallen asleep, E. You know she has her 8:30 tomorrow” he reminded me. “You’re right, I just worry, and I miss her” I sulked. “I know you do, dude,” he said patting my back. “What if she is mad at me? I don’t know what I did” I told him. “Maybe it’s not something you did but who you are with” he suggested. “Grayson, you are my brother why would she be mad at that,” I asked him with a tude. “Not me, you fucking idiot. Emma” he said. “Why would she be jealous of Emma?” I asked. “Let’s see it’s a female who sees you way more than she does. All of the fans ship you and Emma with that ugly ass ship name because they don’t know about you and Y/N, not to mention you guys are kind of flirty in our videos” he explained. “That’s just how we are, it’s not serious. I love Y/N, not Emma” I told him. “Ethan, I know that. I have to listen to you complain about it every day, but she doesn’t see you, every day. It’s hard for her too, E” he told me. “I don’t know what to do Gray” I admitted. “She’s probably just asleep. If she doesn’t respond before class tomorrow, then you can worry” he negotiated, and I nodded. “I’m going to go play Fortnite and hope I can clear these thoughts up,” I told Grayson as I headed to my room. I started my game and before I knew it the clock read 4:13 am. I decided to get into bed and try to get some sleep. I tossed and turned for hours. It’s now 8 am and I didn’t sleep a wink. I got up and walked across the house. I found Grayson working out, imagine that. “Gray she never responded to me,” I said. “Me either but why are you out of bed before noon?” he questioned. “Is it out of bed if I never fell asleep?” I asked. “E” he sighed. “My mind wouldn’t shut off, Gray. I can’t lose her. I love her” I said pulling my hair through my fingers. “Go pack. I’m going to book you a flight while you pack. Go see her. The video for Tuesday is almost done and I can finish it. We can do something in New Jersey for next Tuesday. You just go get your girl, alright?” he said. God, I love this kid. “Thanks, Gray,” I said hugging him. “You’re welcome. I am the best twin ever, now go” he demanded. I went upstairs and packed. It was pretty last minute but if I forgot anything I could have Grayson bring it to New Jersey. I walked back downstairs around 8:45. “Ok, you have a flight at 10. I have printed off all of your information. If I were you I would have Y/N come to New Jersey with us for Thanksgiving later this week. You guys can meet Emma and me there” he explained. Emma was coming to New Jersey because her parents decided on a   last-minute vacation but didn’t ask her to join so she didn’t have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so Grayson and I invited her to come to New Jersey with us. I ate a quick bowl of cereal then had Grayson drive me to the airport. We got to LAX about 10 minutes before my plane boarded. I got to my gate as soon as boarding started. I got on the plane and before I knew it I was in the air. I was so ready to surprise her. I need it. She needs it. We need it.

Before I knew it, we had made it to the next airport. I got off and headed straight to Y/N’s house. I had her address from sending her things in the mail. I went straight there hoping that she was home. I knocked but no one ever came. I decided that I would do what any good boyfriend would do. I would wait, at her doorstep for her to arrive.

 Y/N’s POV

I decided to steal some of the school’s WiFi before I go back to my apartment. I went to the library grabbed one of the study cubicles and got to work. I had one last test before Thanksgiving break and then I was done. I was pretty confident, but it couldn’t hurt to refresh myself. I stayed in the cubicle for a couple hours just to ensure a good grade on this test. I packed up my things then took the 15-minute walk back to my apartment. I made my way up to my apartment where I saw a figure standing in front of a door. They must be waiting for maintenance, I thought. I kept walking until I realized the figure was in front of my apartment and he looked familiar. He looked like Ethan. I realized I never responded to any of them. I should do that when I get settled in. The closer I got the more I realized it was Ethan. “Ethan?” I asked. “Y/N!” he exclaimed while jumping up. We ran to each other. I dropped my backpack not caring about my laptop. I ran as fast as my feet would take me. It felt like it took forever but soon enough I was engulfed in his arms again. I buried my head into his chest. I took a deep breath trying to take everything in. Then I began crying. I pulled away from him and wiped my tears away. “Why are you crying, babe?” he asked. “I missed you so much and I am so glad you’re here” I explained. “Well, I’m here now, alright? No more tears” he said kissing my forehead. I unlocked my door then took us inside. My apartment was filled with pictures of Ethan and I. “I’m everywhere” he said. “Hey, it’s both of us and there’s some of Grayson too but when I don’t get the real thing I have to make do” I shrugged. “I know this is hard for you, it’s hard for me too” he sighed. “E?” I asked. “Yes, baby?” he said. “Why are you here?” I asked. “Well you wouldn’t answer Grayson or me, so I knew something was up. Even if you were mad at me you would respond to Grayson, at least. I was so scared something happened to you that I had to be here. Grayson found me a flight while I packed my stuff up then the next thing I knew, I was here” he explained. “I’m sorry for worrying you. After you declined my FaceTime I got upset so I took a bath then went to bed. Then I woke up late this morning, so I didn’t have time to respond before class then the building I was at didn’t have service. Then I went to the library and zoned out. I’m fine E. I didn’t mean to scare you” I sighed. “Why were you upset?” he asked. “I just missed you,” I said. “It’s more than that. You’re looking away from me which means you’re hiding something” he noticed. Damn, why did he know me so well?  I stayed silent. “It’s Emma isn’t it?” he asked, and I nodded. “Grayson was right” he sighed. “What did Grayson say?” I asked. “He said that you might be jealous of Emma because she is with me a lot and we’re friends. That there are fans shipping her and I because they don’t know about us” he said. “And you guys get awful friendly in your collabs” I mentioned. His eyes dropped, and I prepared for the worst. He had cheated.  “Y/N, baby girl, sweetheart, pumpkin, my princess. I know you are thinking the worst. You are thinking that I cheated on you but I didn’t. I would never. Emma and I are seriously just friends. You know my personality and that I’m very goofy which could be mistaken as flirty. I do not love Emma, I do not even look at Emma that way. There is only one girl I look at with all the love in my heart and that’s you” he said pulling his phone out. “Ethan, what are you doing?” I asked. “You’ll see” he smirked. A few seconds later my phone dinged. It was a notification: Ethan Dolan tagged you in a post. I shot him a look. What was he up to? I opened the app and saw a picture of Ethan and I from a few months ago. There was kind of a long caption. “Just an update on my life for you guys. Emma and I are NOT together. I am with this beautiful girl right here. Her name is Y/N and I love her with everything that I am. Not many people know that we have been together for the past year. She isn’t famous, and I was worried she wouldn’t be able to handle the hate so please treat my girl well, she has my heart. Don’t be the reason she breaks it”  

“Ethan” I smiled as tears filled my eyes. “I love you so much. I know I didn’t ask, and I just did it, but it was the only way I could prove how much I loved you” he said pulling me into him. “You’re so extra babe” I giggled. “Can we snuggle for a little bit?” he asked, and I nodded. As we laid there I began to think. “E how long are you staying?” I asked. “Well it’s Monday and Thanksgiving is Thursday. My family’s Thanksgiving is Thursday at 4 which I really want you to come. I’ll buy your ticket, I just want you there. They miss you” he admits. “You don’t have to ask me twice. I see my family all the time” I giggled. “Oh, um I should probably tell you this” he started. “Tell me what?” I asked getting upset. “So, Grayson and I felt bad. You know how soft we are, Y/N even if we don’t act like. You can’t leave someone alone on Thanksgiving, right?” he smiled trying to guilt trip me. “E, what did you guys do?” I asked. “WeinvitedEmmatoNewJerseybecauseshedidn’thaveanywhereelsetogo” he said all in one breath. “So Emma is going to be at your family Thanksgiving?” I asked. “Um, yes?” he said unsure of what my reaction would be. “Good, I can tell her to stay the fuck off my man,” I said. “Babe, she’s not after me” he pleaded. “Bullshit E. Open your eyes when you watch your videos. She is all over you! Not Grayson but you! She knows about me, right?” I asked. “Well of course. I talk about you all of the time, ask Gray” he said. “She clearly doesn’t get the hint then, Ethan” I scowled. “Babe, we only get to see each other for a few days let’s not spend it arguing” he pleaded. “E, I don’t want to fight but I haven’t seen you in months, then there’s some YouTuber I have never met all of over you, your fans ship you guys together like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. How am I supposed to feel?” I asked with tears pricking my eyes. “Y/N, don’t cry. We both know I can’t handle your tears, babe” he says softly. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore, E” I admitted even if I didn’t want to. “Y/N, I just told everyone, don’t say that” he begged. “Ethan, I have seen you maybe four or five weeks of the over 52 we have been together. This destroys me. I miss you more every day. I watch your videos to support you and Gray, obviously but so I can hear your voice and your laugh so I can see you smile. Yes, we talk all the time but college is so much plus having a famous boyfriend who lives states away. I can’t keep doing this, E. I love you, this has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t love you. I love you more than anything but loving you is killing me” I sobbed as my head fell into his chest. “Move in with Grayson and me” he suggested. “Ethan that’s crazy,” I said looking up from his chest with tear-stained cheeks. “I cannot let you go. You have made me a better person, Y/N. Not to mention, I love you. Everything I said in that Instagram post was true. You have my heart; baby girl and I can’t be without you anymore. A year is long enough” he explained. “Ethan, what about school, my family, my friends, but again most importantly school?” I asked. “UCLA?” he said in a duh tone. “I won’t get into UCLA” I shot back. “Actually, I already applied for you because I was going to ask if you wanted to move in with Gray and I after Christmas?” he smiled trying to read my reaction. “Did I get in?” I asked worriedly. “OF COURSE, YOU GOT IN. YOU ARE THE SMARTEST GIRL I KNOW” he exclaimed. “I’m mad at you” I whispered. “For what?” he asked. “Going behind my back and applying at UCLA” I explained. “Well, you should be mad at your mom too because she was the one who suggested it and told me all the information I needed that I didn’t have” he admitted. “You went through all of that just, so we could be together?” I asked, and he nodded. “Ethan Grant, you are an idiot and you’re sneaky, but I don’t know what I’d do without you” I smiled. “My parents are ok with me transferring?” I asked him. “They told me that they trust me to take care of you and that you’ll be much happier being with me then stuck here” he explained, and he was right. “Are you going to move in with us?” he asked. “I don’t know, E. It’s a lot all at once” I answered. “Take your time. You have a couple weeks before anything needs decided” he told me as I snuggled into his chest. If I wanted to be happy I knew that LA with him and Gray would be the best thing. He’s everything to me but what if we break up. I’ll have to move back home and that’s scary too. I love him, but I’m scared.

 It’s Wednesday afternoon and we’re flying to New Jersey. These past couples of days with Ethan have been so nice. I only had one class yesterday and once I was done with my test I could leave. I was back before Ethan even got up for the day. Grayson and Emma’s flight got in 10 minutes after Ethan and I’s did so we decided to wait for them. We could hear Y/Ship/N being chanted but we just decided to ignore it waiting for Gray and Emma. Soon enough their plane landed, and we were met with Grayson’s big smile and Emma being Emma. “Hey, Y/N. How are you?” Gray asked wrapping me in a hug. “Good, how was your flight?” I asked. “Not bad” he smiled then I looked at Emma. “Y/N, this is Emma. Emma, this is Y/N” Grayson said while Ethan stood there awkwardly. “Hey, E has told me a lot about you,” Emma said, and I smiled. “Yeah, you too” I lied not wanting to make her feel bad. We started walking out the airport hearing. “Why is Emma here?” “Is Emma dating Grayson then?” “Gremma” “Ethma” “Y/Ship/Name” then the farther we got the worse it got. “Emma shouldn’t even be here. Flirting with Ethan when he has a girlfriend” “Boo Emma” “Emma should go back to LA” “No one likes Emma” “Fuck you, Emma”

I looked at Ethan and he was angry. His jaw was clenched, and his eyes were narrowed. I squeezed his hand trying to make him feel better, but it didn’t work. Shortly after hearing more mean things he let go of my hand and stormed in front of us. I just let him go. I waited for Emma and Grayson to catch up so I could walk with them. “Why aren’t you walking with Ethan?” he asked. “That’s a good question” I answered. “What happened?” Emma asked. “I think he got mad at all of the fans being mean to Emma. I squeezed hand trying to get him to calm down, but he just got mad and stormed off” I explained. “He’s such an ass sometimes” Grayson muttered.

We walked to the waiting area by the door, waiting for Lisa and Sean to pick us up. Ethan was outside in the cold. “E, wait inside with us” I yelled and he ignored me. “Whatever, freeze. See if I care” I yelled staying inside with Gray and Emma. “I’m sorry, he’s being like this” Grayson apologized. “it’s fine, he will get over it,” I said. “I don’t know why he is so upset. I get hate all the time, this is mild” Emma explained. “It’s Ethan, who knows” I mumbled. “My parents just pulled up,” Gray said. We put our stuff in the trunk as Ethan had already put his things up then got in the car. “I’ll sit in the back with Gray” I said and they both nodded. The whole ride back to the Dolan’s was damn near silent other than the few questions Lisa and Sean asked us. Ethan never answering any of them. Ethan shot out of the car and headed up to his room. “What’s wrong with your brother, Gray?” Lisa asked. “Honestly, I don’t know” he answered. “Y/N, do you know?” Sean asked. “Not really. Shortly after we got to the airport he got into this mood” I said, and they nodded not asking any further. I put my things in Ethan’s room. He was sat on his bed and his back to the door. I dropped my stuff off and headed back downstairs letting him make his own decisions. “He still being a pain?” Emma asked. “Yeah, he will calm down eventually. Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving, he will talk eventually about what’s bothering him” I explained.

Emma, Grayson, and I sat watching Christmas movies. We were watching Home Alone. We had already watched Elf and The Grinch. Ethan came downstairs to get a drink and didn’t say anything to anyone. He went back up to his room. “What is his deal?” Grayson asked. “I don’t know” I muttered not pushing it. “I’ll go talk to him,” Grayson said getting up from the couch and pausing the movie.

 Grayson’s POV Sometimes Ethan confuses the hell out of me. This being one of those times. I barge into his room not caring that I didn’t knock. “You could knock” he scoffed. “You could not be a dick,” I said back. “Your girlfriend is hanging out with Emma and me because you are ignoring her. For what reason Ethan? What has got you so pissed off you are ignoring everyone when it’s the day before Thanksgiving? Shouldn’t you be I don’t know, THANKFUL” I yelled at him. “Y/N is making everyone hate Emma. Look at twitter everyone is telling Emma she’s ugly and to leave us alone because they know I’m with Y/N. It’s not fair” he said. “Ok, so you are pissed at the fans but taking it out on Y/N. Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound?” I asked. “She was the one that was jealous of Emma” he shot back. “Ethan, you fucking idiot. She is your girlfriend and barely gets to see you where Emma sees you all the time. I would be jealous too” I explained to him. “I see you all of the time and she isn’t mad about you” he sassed. “I am your brother, your TWIN brother so there’s no way I am going to be able to take you from Y/N. We share our time with you, it’s different, Ethan. And if you’re too ignorant to figure that out maybe you should break up with Y/N and be with Emma if that’s what you want” I yelled. “No, it’s not. I love Y/N, but I care about Emma. I don’t want her getting hate because of Y/N and I being together. It’s not fair to Emma” he said. “Ok well, it’s not fair to any of us when you ignore us when you are mad at the fans. Tweet something and tell them to be nice to Y/N and Emma. It’s not that hard, E. You are just so damn stubborn that you don’t think about things” I said, and he sighed knowing he had fucked up. “I’m going downstairs and sending Y/N up here. You better apologize, you asshole” I said. “I will, thanks Gray,” he said. I walked to the living room and looked at Y/N. “I calmed him down, go to talk to him,” I said, and she nodded.

Y/N’s POV

I walked into Ethan’s room slowly. “I’m sorry” he started. ‘I was mad at you when I should be mad at myself. I was the one who hid you from the fans for so long now they are mad not only that I hid it but because I’m not with Emma. I blamed you for everyone being mean to Emma when it’s my fault. I guess because we argued about Emma and I’s friendship that it was an easy way to escape my guilt. I’m so sorry for being a stubborn asshole. I’m going to tweet and clear everything up. I hope you still love me” he apologized keeping his head down scared to look at me. “I do still love you Ethan, but you need to talk to me instead of getting mad about things. I don’t want people being mean to Emma, either. If you weren’t up here wallowing in self-pity you would see that I don’t really mind her” I explained to him. “I’m so sorry that I ruined Thanksgiving” he sighed pulling his hands through his hair. I grabbed his cheeks making him look at me. “You didn’t ruin anything, E. Now clear things up and you can join the rest of us downstairs,” I said kissing his forehead and running my hand through his hair. He grabbed his phone and opened the Twitter app. He tweeted, “Hey guys. We saw some of you at the airport. A lot of you had nice things to say and some didn’t. I know you are upset that I didn’t tell you about Y/N sooner. I had a good reason for that. Therefore, a lot of you thought I was with Emma. I’m sorry for the confusion. Emma is one of my best friends and Y/N is my girlfriend. I love and care for both of them in different ways so please don’t send hate to either of them. Thanks. -E”

“There hopefully things get better” he smiled. “You tried, E and that’s all that matters,” I said. “I do love you, Y/N. I don’t want Emma. I want you and I still want you to come to LA” he admitted. “I love you too, E” I smirked while leaning into his lips. Smiling into it I kiss him. Before I knew it, he had flipped us onto the bed. “Ethan” I yelled while he flipped us over.  I was lying on my back and he was hovering over me. “Are you going to move to LA and live with Gray and me?” he asked wanting an answer. “Yes, E. I’ll move to LA with you and Gray as long as you get off of me, so we can downstairs,” I said. “Fuck yeah,” he said jumping up. “You’re an idiot” I giggled. “But I’m your idiot” he winked. “Yes, I suppose you are,” I said as I shook my head as we headed back to the living room. Ethan Grant Dolan, you are an idiot, you are the most stubborn person I have ever met, but you complete me.

#ethan dolan #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan smut #ethan dolan blurbs #grayson dolan #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan smut #grayson dolan blurbs #the dolan twins #the dolan twins imagine #the dolan twins smut #the dolan twins blurbs #dolan twins #dolan twins blurbs #dolan twins smut #dolan twins imagine #ethan and grayson #grayson and ethan #sister squad #minus james

[levi-ish]

Don’t Ask My Neighbors | 1

Summary: When the night is quiet as a whisper and the windows are all closed, sneaky kisses are shared under the same old tree where kids swore their love would never fade.

Pairing: Tom Holland X Enemy!Reader

Disclaimer: mentions of car accidents, sex and alcohol (there’ll be smut later in this story)

A/N: Hi there! Thank you so much for all of you who read the teaser and liked it, so here’s the first part, and I hope you guys enjoy! Also, I set your sisters, parents and last names already because it was getting too confusing to write, so yup. Sorry for the shitty chapter, I promise the next ones will be more intriguing.

Also, if you want to be tagged, send me an ASK.

Masterlist

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

“Your neighbor is hot” Dave peeked through the curtains as you kept your eyes glued into the notebook, writing down more complex words that would lead you to a better grade.

“My neighbor?” You asked without even looking, knowing already what he was talking about, or even worse — whom.

“Dude, look at that fucking eight-pack” Eva sighed, sneaking under Dave’s arm and peeking through the window while you wondered if you should offer them a napkin or something like that. “But (Y/N) already told me that he’s off limits, so...”

You rolled your eyes and turned around on your chair, analyzing the two other young-adults that were crowding around your window, staring at the boy’s room and letting their hormones take over their minds.

“Why’s that?” Dave bit his lower lip and turned around, running a hand on his dark hair and twitching his mouth to the side.

“Because of their families’ war” said the other girl before you could even think of an answer.

And she wasn’t wrong; not only he was off limits, but his entire family was too. 

You never had the chance to ask for a cup of sugar or to even wave back while putting the trash away; or even to pet the Holland’s dog from time to time because of the weird looks you would receive from your own family and from the other. So a normal life in suburbia wasn’t something you grew used to.

It all started before you could even see the light of day, when your family bought the house that other couple wanted, because the neighborhood was quiet and that specific place had a better yard and pool. The Hollands, however, decided to buy the house on the left and your parents, who weren’t that fond of competition, decided not to let them slide that easily.

The firsts steps were the fake smiles and crooked gazes to their backs, and then, soon enough, the families started to rub each conquest against each others faces. When Nikki first got pregnant with her boy, your mother called for a war. She discovered that she was pregnant too a few months later, having you and then, she didn’t want to waste more time, trying again, only to have a baby girl two and a half years later, your sister Morgan. 

But then, Nikki discovered that she was having twins — and guess what?! — your parents couldn’t stand the thought of losing. 

With all that back and forth, pregnancies and showing off the babies and their toys around, it resulted on a house with four boys and the other with four girls. 

For informational purposes; the Hollands were composed of Dominic and Nikki, Tom (21), Sam and Harry (18) and Paddy (13); while the Hodges were Luke and Viola, you (19, but almost 20), Morgan (17), Danny (14) and Stella (10); but the confusion was too big even for you, sometimes. 

And the pressure — don’t even get me started. You had to be the greatest in all of your classes because fucking Tom couldn’t be better than you. And it wasn’t that Thomas fucking Holland was a bad kid or anything like that, he was actually nice and you had nothing to complain about, but since your and his mother hated each other, you had to keep the profile and break any kind of contact you two had in the past.

“Why do you have to be a part of this fight again?” Eva sat on your bed again, her body sinking into the cocoon of blankets you set there before they came.

“I’m not a part of it” you said, lifting your head and pulling one of your legs closer to your chest. “This is my mother’s business and I’m not putting up with it. I’m just...”

“—Too scared to contradict her.” Dave finished your sentence, throwing himself at your bed and his legs hitting Eva’s back, making the girl let out a small whimper, slapping his thigh. “But don’t even pretend that you like him a lot.”

That was true; you didn’t. You didn’t even know when you started to get annoyed by him or if you were really annoyed by the boy or if it was your mother’s voice inside your head, manipulating you into hating the boy.

You smiled kindly at them and turned around. “Maybe we should go back to the project since I am the only one doing something here.”

But he was right, you were too scared of your mother. God, every one in your family was, because when she was mad, she would turn the tables and make you feel guilty with a great selection of words that would keep you inside your room until the end of times.

So, no, no one dared to contradict her.

“I’m too old for that” Eva rolled her eyes and threw her head on a pillow, dramatically sighing. “I might be dead tomorrow and you are worrying about the damn project.”

“Well, it’s a third of the final grade.” You stated, licking your lips quickly and adjusting the hoodie’s sleeves on your arms. “I’m not getting a B because of you.”

“Nerd” Dave yelled-whispered and you threw a pen at him, laughing while your eyes reached for the small space that the curtains didn’t cover, watching from afar the figure of the boy who smiled at the sight of you, making your stomach feel funny — not the bad way.

[...]

You yawned deeply as your eyes tried to keep open, the sweet smell of pancakes downstairs keeping you away from falling asleep once more, ignoring all the alarms you always set on your phone. You changed from the pajama pants to some comfortable jeans and an old shirt you were fond of, putting on some sneakers and grabbing your stuff to leave quickly.

Climbing downstairs, you walked into the kitchen and found all of your sisters already sitting there and your father cooking some pancakes while your mother finished some work on her laptop. You were greeted by sleepy ‘good mornings’ and helped yourself with a cup of coffee, sitting beside Morgan and drinking it slowly.

“Ugh, I hate those small keyboard keys” your mother muttered to herself while downing a big gulp of her coffee. 

“Don’t mind your mother, girls” your father said, turning around quickly and smiling politely. “She’s had a bad night.”

“It’s not my fault” she glared at her husband and rolled her eyes, completely annoyed. “I couldn’t sleep because one of the Devil’s spawns let their music too loud last night.”

You furrowed your brows while your father put some pancakes on your plate, grabbing syrup to cover them.

“Devil’s spawns?” Questioned Danny, twitching her mouth.

“Her new nickname to Nikki’s sons” your father explained and rolled his own eyes.

You laughed to yourself, already aware of their rivalry and how your father wasn’t so into the battle as your mother was. Actually, when you were younger, your father told you about how he used to be friends with Dominic a long time ago, ending their friendship because of their wives. What a waste.

“Anyways” your mother closed her laptop and looked at you with demanding eyes, making the pancakes going down your throat seem stuck there. “(Y/N), could you take your sisters to school before class?”

Coughing on your coffee, you put the mug on the surface of the table and looked around, watching as your sisters seemed to mind their own business, so you just nodded while cutting another piece of the pancakes, your stomach humming quietly, but noticeable.

“Sure” you smiled and ate your last bite before standing up. “I’ll just brush my teeth and then we’ll be out.”

The girls nodded and your mother adjusted her pantsuit, straitening the edges before smiling to herself and grabbing her stuff. She was a journalist and worked in the cooking section, always talking about food and nutrition, so she mostly worked from home, but sometimes, she had to go to these meetings and keep her name and works clean.

Don’t even get me started on her key lime pie, because oh, you wouldn’t believe the taste of that! And, of course, she and Nikki would compete who made the best pie.

“Will I see you later, darling?” Asked your father, looking straight at you and you smiled shyly. 

Your father, on other hand, had a small market around the corner and worked with all of his heart and passion on it. Sometimes, you would join him to help with some stuff, since some of his employees quit and he could use extra help. You liked doing that, so it wasn’t such a burden.

“Of course.”

Quickly, you brushed your teeth and grabbed your phone and car keys to leave already, only waiting for your sisters to come and entering the car when they were all ready.

Opening the garage door, you moved the car back and let out a small sigh, looking at the mirror as you did so. But when you saw it, it was too late; your nails were deep into the steering wheel and your sisters screamed loud, causing Stella to cry in desperation. You felt your heart starting to thump faster and turned around, looking at the girls.

“Stay here” you said.

It was a small collision, but still a collision that could have done damage to your car — the one you loved so much — so you jumped down of it and walked at the back, looking around and seeing the silver Audi with a small scratch, and so did your own car (luckily).

The owner showed his face while climbing down of the Audi, the brown curls falling against his forehead just slightly since the rest of his hair was pushed back. You crossed your arms and gazed at him, waiting for something to be said before you lost your temper.

“Oh, shit” he said, removing his sunglasses and giving your eyes access to his hazelnut ones as he crouched down behind your car. “I’m so sorry!”

He looked up to find you already staring and you bit your lower lip, twitching your nose.

“I hope so” you said, furrowing your brows. “My sisters are there, you could’ve hurt them.”

You already felt that he was being genuine about his apology, but you were too infuriated to control your choice of words (and you already had the ability to destroy a person with them). 

“I’m really sorry” he licked his lips and stood, walking in your direction and stopping only a few inches in front of you.

God, does he know anything about personal space?

You looked a bit up to find his freckled nose right in front of you, making you cross eyes for a little more. Redness staying to spread all over your cheeks and you looked down, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of making you blush.

“Yeah.” You said quietly, almost in a mutter.

Looking up again, you found his eyes still invading your personal space. His arm twitched a bit, as if he wanted to touch you, but he hesitated and looked away; and you could swear that you had a déjà-vu that moment, almost smelling the humid grass from the park and hearing the leaves of the big old tree above you, but you shut down that thought, going back to reality, the one where you stood in front of that guy — the same one from the tree — but looking like a stranger.

“Do you—” he started to say, and you wanted to hear, but your mother rushed from the entrance door and to the street, her eyes full of anger and worry.

“What the—” she looked around and her eyes found Tom’s, not making the situation any better. “You!”

She stormed at his direction and you knew that a hurricane was coming, so you held your breath and closed your eyes quickly. Then, another voice appeared and you felt even more frighted. 

“Don’t even try to blame it on my son!” Screamed Nikki as she walked down the front yard, standing in front of your mother and crossing her arms. “It’s not his fault that your daughter doesn’t know how to drive. You better be careful, she could’ve hurt someone!”

“Excuse me?!” You furrowed your brows, but were completely ignored.

You looked at Tom again only to find him rolling his eyes and going back to his car, starting it and preparing to leave, but not before he found your reflection on the mirror and gave you a small smirk.

How dare he?

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DON’T ASK MY NEIGHBORS TAGLIST:

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#peter parker #peter parker x reader #tom holland #tom holland x reader #smut #fluff #romance #college #au #neighbors #enemies #mapas writing

[333kaylynn]

Deaf / g.d.

y/t/n: your twitter name

Word Count: 1950

Request: no 

here i am tagging more people that i hope will enjoy this. sorry if this is annoying lol

@olivia-m-dolan

@dolayn 

@bouttogolinkurbitch

@profanitydolan

@kara-dolan

@nomoregraydays

@chaaandlaah

@dolandreaminn

@dimply-dolan

@doltishdolans

@justanotherdolanblog

@rockstardolan

@notanotherdolantwinsblog

@sushidolans

///

She was calm. A calm young girl who had her whole life ahead of her. Nothing would get in her way.

Her passion for the arts led her down a deep path of internet searching. Searching for more people who had interests like her.

Her love for two boys grew expeditiously after she saw one simple photo on Instagram. The way the photo was taken was enough to make her look through the entire Instagram account, and enough for her to look through each of the boys'.

Her love grew more and more each day, soon leading her to talk so highly of the art she had seen all over twitter.

She hadn't realized these boys were so popular. The amounts of tweets and dm's she had received were unbearable.

She didn't mind them though. People just told her who they were. People were even nice enough to ask to be friends.

Months. Months after the incident had occurred she had gotten one simple dm that changed her life so copiously.

She answered within seconds. She knew who it was, why wouldn't she. It was one of the boys she saw in the photos.

The blue verified mark next to his name proved it wasn't something fake.

The two began talking and it led to so much for each of them. He began asking her about her passion for art and she began asking him anything she really could. Asking about who took the photos, who edited them, how they got to the locations.

Her passion for photography was unreal. She loved it so much. Nobody, not even her mom could completely understand her addiction to the art. 

Her mom always supported her though. Her love started after her mom bought her a cheap Kodak camera from Walmart when she was 8 years old. As the years went on, she got better equipment, better cameras, and better things to photograph. She went from photographing her pets, to her family, to her friends, and soon to help with the school yearbook. 

She thought of it more as a hobby rather than a career up until she was about 17. Her senior year is when she decided what she’d major in. 

@/graysondolan: hey, idk if this is weird, but can we ft? 

@/y/t/n: i don’t know, gray. maybe another time

@/graysondolan: yeah, yeah. that’s fine

It’s not that she didn’t want to see him. She just wasn’t sure about how he’d feel. 

You see, there’s one thing that hadn’t been mentioned yet. A severe case of Jaundice as a child led her to grow up slowly losing her hearing. 

Her mother began teaching her ASL at a young age, she even signed her up with a specialist who would help her get through everything. 

By age 12, she had fully lost hearing in her right ear. By the time she turned 16, her hearing was fully gone. 

Days had gone by since the first time Grayson had asked her to ft, he continued to ask her if she was up for it. Each time was a different excuse. It’s not that she got joy out of upsetting him, she just didn’t want to upset him more when he saw her answering him with her hands rather than her mouth. 

Her speaking wasn’t all bad. She could still say a few words, but she couldn’t always control how loudly or quietly she would be talking. She wasn’t mute, but it was easier for her to talk in ASL than in English.

She knows Grayson is a nice guy. He probably wouldn’t care that much, but it worried her to a great extent. Her anxiousness was rising every time Grayson would ask. 

@/graysondolan: can I at least have your number? 

@/y/t/n: 878-575-3434

*read @ 3:45 pm*

370-454-3859 : Y/n?

yeah, its me

Grayson: glad I could get your number;)

very funny, trying to slide are ya?

Grayson: nahhhh. no way.

ok ok;)

Grayson: you sure we don’t have time to facetime

i’m positive grayson, i really can’t right now

Grayson: will you ever be able to

maybe. stop asking and perhaps you’ll find out

Grayson: hopefully i will. anyway, what you up to?

trying to help my mom teach my younger brother asl

Grayson: asl?

American sign language

Grayson: oh thats cool, are you fluent?

yeah, since i was about 13. 

Grayson: oh cool, all I can speak is english. kinda lame

eh, not too bad. 

Grayson: yeah but you can speak english and asl, thats way cooler

i guess 

Her brother was about 9 years old when she first lost her hearing. He’s now 10, almost 11. He began learning asl to talk with his sister a little before his 10th birthday. 

He always loved watching his sister edit the photos she had taken that day, but it was quite hard to talk to her considering they had to write everything out. 

Almost 3 full notebooks had been filled throughout the year. One of them even had writings on the front and back cover. 

A few days had passed since her last conversation with Grayson. It wasn’t like them to not talk for that long. They hardly stopped for even as short as an hour. 

Grayson: so where do you go to school? or is that weird

its not weird. im homeschooled, have been since 7th grade

Grayson: oh why’s that? 

mom had to pull me out. i wasn’t up to speed with the other kids

Which was true. She wasn’t. Her hearing loss caused her to slowly turn her straight a’s to straight f’s. It was hard for her to put mind to the things her teachers were saying. 

Her mom already had a teaching degree, and so it wasn’t hard for her mom to begin teaching her daughter as soon as possible. Her brother continued to go to public school, his mom didn’t want him to miss out on certain things and neither did his sister. 

She didn’t want to be the reason to hold people back, especially her family. Her brother’s love for hockey wasn’t something she could hold back, so she wasn’t going to be upset if he wanted to join a  public school in order to make sure he would be able to join the younger league of hockey in 5th grade. 

He’s started his first year already. His love for hockey had grown instantly after he began playing. His sister always came to his practices and games and got tons of pictures. 

Some even weren’t of her brother. The coach had asked if she would be willing to take pictures after he had seen the ones of her brother. 

The photos had gone up on the website for the hockey association. It was something she was very proud of, and many of the hockey moms had asked if she had gotten any photos of their sons. 

Word got around quickly, so more photos were being taken and distributed to the moms of the boys. It hadn’t bothered her at all, she loved taking the pictures and she loved to see the parents reactions to the wonderful photos she had taken. 

Grayson: its been a week since ive asked last, so im asking again. can we facetime yet? i just wanna see your face and talk to you. 

im at my brothers hockey game. we can when i get home, i promise

After all, if it did end up bothering him, she could easily ignore him. block him, and never speak to him again. It would be a lot harder if they had actually met in real life, but they hadn’t. Virtually talking to people can have its advantages when needed. 

She just needed to know how he’d feel. If she was being honest, she’d say she didn’t care. She didn’t care about his reaction anymore, but she wanted to know what it was. She wanted to see and talk to Grayson just as much as he wanted to with her. 

Grayson: prove it

what do you want a pic?

Grayson: a video

You laughed silently to yourself and took a video of your face and then of your brother playing hockey. You sent the video with a message

That good enough for you?

Grayson: yes very

good. we’re done soon, in case youre wondering

Grayson: thank god. I cant wait to actually talk to you

you are right now

Grayson: you know what i mean. you know. speak

right right, okayyyyy

In all reality, she was horrified. In the back of her mind she was scared. But she was ready, ready to face her fear. Ready for what was to come.

As the time went by it seemed to get slower and slower. Her mind was fumbled with the thought of if she should actually go through with this.

On one hand, she wouldn't have to worry about Grayson finding out her little secret, but on the other hand, she couldn't see herself lying to him this much.

It wasn't a healthy thing to do. To hold back. She was going through a lot. Her brain was tortured and in pain as she thought about how she would introduce herself. Would she say hi, would she sign to him? No. He wouldn't understand that.

Slowly but surely the clock went tick, tick, tick. The time was now. She was about to face her fear of abandonment. As the facetime call rang and she twiddled with her thumbs, wiping her face due to the beads of sweat drippling down her tomato red face, her brother sat beside her and comforter her, making sure she was okay. She nodded and after a few more rings, Grayson picked up. He said hi, she could see it. It wasn't hard to tell that he was excited. Your brother was signing underneath the phone, so only you could see it. Grayson kept talking, your brother trying to sign as quickly as he could. Her brother looked at the camera and then down at the screen at Grayson, who sat in silence, confused at her sudden lack of quirkyness.

"Y/n, you okay?" Grayson says, her brother signing it to her. She looks back up and nods, smiling as if everything was okay. "Are you sure, you keep looking down." Grayson says, looking at you and tilting his head as a way to express his confusion.

"Grayson, uh she-" Her finger gently pressed to her lips to get her brother to be quiet.

She looked up and waved, and breathed in through her noise before slowly breathing out through her mouth. She let her hands take control, and Grayson laughed before saying "You know I only speak english, babe." She sighed and looked at her brother before signing, "Tell him." Her brother nodded before looking at Grayson and then quickly at her to make sure. She nods and starts slowly breathing harder, her face growing redder.

"Grayson. She can't hear you." Her brother says with the most seriousness in his small face.

"What do you mean? Is her phone broken?" Grayson asks, trying to talk more to see if that'll help.

Her brother tells Grayson to be quiet so he can speak, which silences Grayson. "Grayson, she can't hear you because she's deaf."

"What? You're lying." Grayson shook his head in disbelief and then looked at you for confirmation.

You sighed and started signing, your brother speaking for you.

You explained everything to him, and he sat there listening. He didn't judge you at all, and you stayed friends. 

He even took it upon himself to learn asl so when he was finally able to meet you, you guys could talk. You guys could communicate. 

#gelrureqgkljtheq thank u #to everyone that helped me finish this #encouraged me to keep writing #and continued to support me even tho i suck at writing

[bethesdaglitch]

1-70 do em all! 😁💙

I’m seriously so sorry this took so long, but it was so much fun!! thank you!!! Also it’s super long so I’m gonna put it under a readmore!

1. First game you played obsessively?

Jak & Daxter! 2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.Lmao I’m not exactly a creative person, but when I was little I tried coming up with and drawing my own pokemon. They were… bad3. Who did you play with as a kid?My brother! At first I stole his Gameboy Color whenever he wasn’t using it, but then he saved up and bought a PS2 so we could play games together4. Who do you play with now?No one really lol. I kinda prefer to play single-player games now? But I’ll play with various friends when we hang out.5. Ever use cheat codes?When I was little, yeah! Especially in the Sly Raccoon games 6. Ever buy strategy guides?Before the age of unlimited free online strategy guides I did, now I just use said online ones7. Any games you have multiple copies of?Yep, I’ve “lost” games only to find them again after replacing them like… four times? It happened with Oblivion, Fable 3, DA: Origins, and, weirdly enough, that one obscure (but fun imo!) wii game, Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?This one was hard! After a teeny bit of research, I narrowed it down to either Rule of Rose, LoZ Collector’s Edition on Gamecube, and pokemon red and yellow9. Most regrettable purchase?Hhhhhhhh I bought the video game for the 2006 Dreamworks movie Over the Hedge. I was only 12, but I still should’ve known better :(10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?I’ve gone to a few midnight releases, but none that have lasted for hours, luckily. I only started going to them in the last few years, so the only ones I’ve been to so far are Fallout 4, DA:I and uh… ME:A (I KNOW)11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?Nah not really, I don’t play online games, so. I have friends who play video games, but I’ve never met someone BECAUSE of video games12. Ever get picked on for liking games?Lol no?13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?Overwatch14. Favorite game music?NIER, hands down. 15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?Probably something cute and harmless like the leaf from Animal Crossing lol16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?Lately we’ve been really into Towerfall: Ascension and Screencheat17. Ever lose a friend over a game?Wh—no????18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?So long as they didn’t try to “forbid” me from playing and so long as we had other interests to bond over, then sure. It’d be kind of a bummer though lol19. Favorite handheld console?Idk that I have one! Maybe the Switch, since that’s the most recent and popular?20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?Silent Hill 3 and DA:I21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?The Civilization games22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?Sometimes, yeah. Nothing too embarrassing, though. 23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?What, like… ever?? Geez, I dunno… probably Oblivion?24. First Pokemon game?Yellow!25. Were you ever an arcade game player?I actually wasn’t really :/26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?Oh yeah, with my brother. He’s 6 years older than me, which pretty much guaranteed I got my ass kicked in every game we played when I was younger27. Game that makes you rage?Bloodborne and Dark Souls!!!!!! I swear I try to go back and play them at least once a year, and I can never get past the first hour :(28. Ever play in a tournament?Not like an official one, but ones with friends, yep29. What is your gaming set up?Imma be real with you chief I don’t know nearly enough about computers to answer this question with anything other than “a computer”30. How many consoles do you own?Ohohoho far too many31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?I’ve never had the 3D slider up long enough to tell, but that probably means yes lol32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?BOY when I was in first grade I played Spongebob: Supersponge on Gameboy advance so much I STILL remember the password that lets you skip to the final stage (it’s WMBT) 33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?nah 34. Do either of your parents play video games?PFFF GOD NO. Although my mom does love Animal Crossing. Not playing it, but just like it’s whole deal. 35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?No and no, tbh36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?I… don’t think so? Maybe I’ve cried over a game, but blood?? Put the controller down, y’all37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?NO NO NO OVER THE HEDGE (2006) FOR THE PS2 IS THE SINGLE WORST GAME EVER MADE FIGHT ME ON THIS38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?Oh lord… idk if anyone’s ever played any of Ambition’s dating sims (Dream Girlfriend, Dream Boyfriend, Animal Boyfriend, and Moe Can Change) but I’ve literally been playing them for about… 5-ish years now? They’re seriously the worst, I fucking love them 39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?Hmm… Maybe a new Kingdoms of Amalur game would be cool? 40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?I love VR but the last time I tried it at a friend’s place I fucking faceplanted after leaning on a counter I forgot was also virtual and the first thing my friend asked was whether the headset was ok, so that stung. As for motion controls, they’re fun but they can be a real pain41. A genre that you just can’t get into?Sports games 42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?The path to what43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?Oh yeah, who hasn’t?44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?Idk if this counts but I am a MASTER at the claw machine and that stacker game. My closet is full of useless shit I’ve won from those things45. How are you at Mario Kart?OH SO FUCKING GOOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?yesssss I love them47. Do you like competitive games?I mean like I said, I mostly prefer single-player games, but I do enjoy the occasional co-op game48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?about an hour49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?I actually don’t! If it’s a game I’m not confident I’ll be good at, I pick whichever class is recommended for beginners, and that changes from game to game. Alternatively, I just go through phases where I prefer a specific class above others 50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?Christ I have no idea. Maybe a first-person escape game? idk51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?NO?? DAMN ARE Y’ALL OK????52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?Literally any M game; my parents were strictly “No M games until you’re old enough!” I just got my brother to buy them most of the time though lol53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?Most DLC is fine, it’s microtransactions in “pay-to-win” games that I fucking hate. 54. Do you give in to Steam sales?HAHAHAHAHA yeah absolutely 55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?N-No??? 56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?Ok yeah I did do that 57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?Ew no58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?Ooooh… ok, Oblivion, My Time in Portia, and Divinity 259. Do you play any cell phone games?I do! I play a lot of escape games, and uh… the Ambition games mentioned previously60. Do you know the Konami Code?Is that the up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A? Huh, I never knew it had a name!61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?I used to trade them in occasionally, but mostly I keep them 62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?Yeah the Switch for BotW. Not proud of it, but it was worth it63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? nah64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?Yep! 65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?OHHHH MY GOD YEAH, I’M STILL FUCKING PISSED ABOUT IT. I had GameShark for Gameboy and PS2, but that one was fine, it didn’t cause any problems. It was ACTION FUCKING REPLAY that fucked me over. I used it for KH2 and it worked the whole time until literally THE VERY LAST XEMNAS FIGHT, when my HP bar suddenly dropped to 1??? Not my HP, mind you, the HP BAR. Meaning 1 HP was the most I could have. Literally fuck action replay >:( 66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?nope67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?I do! The very first thing I ever saved up money for to buy myself was Pokemon Crystal version. Until then I’d just been borrowing (re:stealing) my brother’s, but when I was 5 and Crystal was about to come out, my parents made me a deal that if I saved up $15, they’d pay the other $15 and I could get it! It was the first time I was working towards a fun goal, so it was all pretty exciting for 5-year-old me lol. It’s dumb, I know, but it’s something I look back on fondly68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?Lol nah, I think the best thing I ever got with tickets was a cheap snowglobe 69. In your opinion, best game ever made? UHHHH GOD. That’s… super tough. I’m genuinely not sure I have an answer tbh. I’m really into Divinity 2 right now but best game ever made?? Idk! that’s a hard one!!!! 70. Very first game you ever beat? I won’t lie, it was Spongebob: Supersponge on GBA

#ask meme #sorthyboy

[fictionalarsonist]

exo_baekhyun | HOAX pt.4

Hoax_ to trick into believing or accepting as genuine something false and often preposterous.

Requested by anon

pairing: baekhyun ⨯ reader (gender neutral) ⨯ chanyeol feat. jongdae, minseok, yixing, suho, sehun, jongin, suju siwon content: angst, fluff, slice of life, gang au, high school au, some mature language, smoking, drinking, violence, blood, cheating rating: PG-13 type: fanfic, series word count: 5K

⁎ ⁎ ⁎

… As it has been said in a song series 04. “Well, isn’t this exactly where you like me? I am exactly where you like me, you know” - But It’s Better If You Do - P!atD

a/n: once again, i want to thank @bts-writes for beta-reading my mess. thank you, sweetie! (-ω-) ++i think this will be a little longer than I thought it would *smile nervously*

「 mobile m.list | desktop m.list | ask/request 」

[ part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 ]

You keep telling him to not let other people’s mindset get to him, but that never really got to him in the first place. Well, at least he thinks so anyway. He’s far too used to the bad-mouthing and prejudice, he’s used to be tossed aside from everywhere because who’s he to deserve anything better? He’s used to be looked down on and keep being who he’s born to be. Which is a fatherless crook with a set destiny, there’s nothing to it.

People who have other types of lives, people who has a choice wouldn’t understand and he doesn’t want nor need them to. Then, there’s you and you have everything, yet still you come and take him by his hand like this. He shouldn’t let it get to him, he knew that night and he knows even better now.

Of course, you don’t know, and he makes sure no one else does, that every second or so his eyes drift towards you during classes. You’re focused, obliviously determined with your studies while he sits there, clueless about where to go with all of it. You did plant a seed of hope somewhere inside him, but he doesn’t know what to do with it and he planned on telling you about the possibilities of disappointing you during lunch, but that’s when you let him feel all of that again. Everything he felt that night and he cannot argue with it.

Looking around him Baekhyun knows he doesn’t belong there, everything he accomplished so far is thanks to Mr. Kim’s manipulations, thanks to his mother, he never really did anything to deserve being in the most prominent class, even if he had good grades before when he did attempt something, this is different. He does understand why people look down on him, but now it hurts to think about it because you’re making him believe he’s something better.

Baekhyun wants to try proving them wrong, follow your lead even knowing he places last when he’s anywhere close to you and seeing you in class proves it. He wouldn’t let you know how his pen trembled on his hands and the letters danced on his eyes when he was handled that paper or how cold sweat ran down his back when he tried taking notes.

He leaves class before it ends, as if there are hound dogs chasing him. The boys in the restroom leave as soon as he walks in and that’s fortunate because he wants to be alone, in fact, he feels like smoking, but he knows the teachers are looking for any opportunity to kick him out of school now they have a chance and even if he dared, he left his pack of cigarettes in his beloved Porshe. Just a precaution to let himself surrender into his usual reckless behavior.

Throwing his backpack on the floor, under the sink, Baekhyun unbuttons his shirt a little and splashes some water on his face. His damp hair falls on his eyes and he brushes them back with his fingers, taking a couple of deep breathes and licking his lips. 

What a mad world this place is. He feels suffocated and trapped by all of this. His heart beats like crazy for reasons different reasons when he’s with you, different from when he’s racing with his friends, different than when he’s being beaten up by his older brother. Looking at the mirror in front of him, to that person dressed in a school uniform, staring back at him with a fierce glare and arrogant expression. Baekhyun can’t recognize this stranger. It supposed to be a reflection, but nothing in it shows how he really feels.

This scary, heartless crook piercing him with his eyes is the same he’s seen looking back and smirk at him his whole life, Baekhyun can’t understand why he feels like facing a stranger now. Someone ignorant to this turmoil rambling inside of him with something that resembles what others would probably call panic biting sharply around the corners. Baekhyun wonders how could you of all people see past this. His hair falls on his face again and he focuses on arranging something nice enough. Why does he feels like being suffocated?

Baekhyun grips tightly on the edges of the sink because everything else is a crazy mess around him, he doesn’t realize his white knuckles nor that the voices he’s hearing is all in his head. There are no teachers making bitter comments indirectly to him, there are no side glares from students in this empty restroom, still everything is so damn real and it all seems to crush him. It’s much worse than the beating he got the night before. Physical pain is nothing close to this, whatever this is, the piece of trash mocking him from the mirror tells him he’s going to fail at this, he’s going to screw it all up, just like everything he’s done with everything else so far.

“Hey, Baek!”, Jongdae’s voice echoes to Baekhyun, “the boys are waiting–”, Baekhyun doesn’t know when he closed his eyes, “Baekhyun!”

Jongdae grips on Baekhyun’s shoulders and shakes him until he’s friend is looking back at him.

“This worried look doesn’t suit you”

“You looked like you’re about to die or something. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”, Baekhyun forces himself to stand up straight, “What did you say about the boys?”

“They’re waiting”

“Tell them to go ahead. You too. I won’t take long.”

“You think you can drive like this?”

“I’m okay”, he guarantees

“You don’t look like you’re okay”

“Who do you think I am? Just go. Make sure they’re ready.”

“Baek! Are you sure of what you’re doing? If Mr. Kim finds out--”, Jongdae trails off and places his hand Baekhyun shoulder, holding firmly this time, “Listen, I talked to Minseok, alright? He said we can call it off.”

“Yeah? So what should I tell Jongin when he wakes up? Sorry about your headache kid, but we chickened out because the grumpy old man glared at me? C’mon!”

“Jongin wouldn’t blame you for not doing anything in a situation like this”,

Baekhyun shrugs. “I don’t see the old man doing anything to stop me, Jongs. That means he wants something to happen and is using Jongin, your little brother, for this. Is that okay with you?”

“You think he’ll give Suho’s turf to you?”

“Fuck no!”, Baekhyun scoffs with a smirk, “He just wants to know what Suho is really capable of aside from barking nonsense like a lap dog--”, Jondgae tries to stop him and Baekhyun shrugs his friend’s hand off his shoulder, “No, Jongs! He has to pull his head out of his ass for once. He shouldn’t look down on people and I don’t mind being the one to teach him that.”

Baekhyun doesn’t realize he just repeated your words so effortesly until he hears Jongdae’s voice again, speaking through a defeated sigh.

“Alright, let’s do it your way”

Baekhyun nods and pats his friend’s shoulder. “Tell Minseok to get to it”

Baekhyun glances at the mirror when Jongdae walks out and that crook is staring back at him again.

⁎ ⁎ ⁎

The expensive office is trashed and the only light are coming from the windows that don’t have the blinds ragged during the fight while the others are still closed.

“You fuck--ing prick”, Suho hisses, gripping on Baekhyun’s pants who’s almost wrecked as him, “Dad will–”

“Now, that’s funny, older brother. Someone at your age calling for daddy like this… Isn’t this your fault for looking down on me?”

Baekhyun laughs mockingly and shakes his leg off Suho’s grip before crouching down next to the older boy who’s having a hard time breathing and keeping one eye open when the other is already swollen with a dark shade of purple.

“Think carefully--”, Suho’s threat sounds like a plea and that has Baekhyun poking his teeth with his tongue to avoid smiling, afraid his lower lip would be ripped apart if he do.

“Why’d you think the old man let you get your ass beaten up by me, huh?”, he provokes, tapping his nail on Suho’s cheek, “You should be the one using your brain here. Now, listen carefully, alright? If I ever hear about you or the old man trying to play games with my friends again, I’ll make sure to go all the way next time. Did I make myself clear?”

Baekhyun’s glare has Suho’s swallowing hard, this time he doesn’t look playful and there’s no sign of the usual cockiness in his expression. Suho looks away, muttering an agreement. Baekhyun’s not an ignorant moron, he knows exactly what these words will trigger for him, but truth be told he’s tired of being tossed and turned as a play thing between Mr. Kim and Suho to solve their own issues.

The reason why he started this was really because of Jongdae’s younger brother, Jongin, ended up real bad after what happened that night in the construction site. He knows Jongdae blames himself for letting his brother follow him even when Baekhyun told the youngster to stay back like Sehun. But, Baekhyun saw Suho’s smile when he struck Jongin in the head. ‘This should be you’, it was written all over Suho’s face when he looked at Baekhyun once Jongin fell at his feet.

“Baek--”

Baekhyun snaps his eyes at Jongdae and just by the way his friend looks at Suho, he can tell Jongdae’s worried.

“Tell Minseok to come up here.”

“Baekhyun—”, he’s ignored.

“We have to take over”

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“We came a long way,” Baekhyun said, standing up and turning his back to Suho who is already passed out on the floor, “We don’t have much to lose now. Call Yixing too. His vacation in China is over, we need him here.”

He’s hurt and tired and an all-around mess. Now that his boys are cleaning up the building, Jongdae has everything under control and he trusts his friend wholeheartedly to take care of whatever comes up, for now he just needs a moment. The only quiet place he finds is what is left of the office after Suho is taken away, this will be his now. Though the one sitting on that chair will be Yixing for sometime.

The city lights bathe part of the office, peeking through the broken and ragged blinds creating odd patterns. When Baekhyun sits down on that spot with his knees pulled up to his chest, one of his hands holding his phone and a lighted cigarette, while the other nestled closed to him because it hurts like hell. Somehow, there’s just one thing he can think of.

To Y/n: Don’t get into trouble tonight

You smile at your phone before typing a reply.

From Y/n: You ran out of class today. I was worried 

Baekhyun hesitates a little before replying.

To Y/n: I had to take care of something. It was important 

Your reply takes a while to arrive, but when it pops up on Baekhyun’s screen, his lips curls into a half smile.

From Y/n: Something about your brother again?

From Y/n: Are you okay? 

What would he expect from you? He tilts his head, typing the simple reply. His cigarette is burning away behind his phone.

To Y/n: I’m fine. 

Baekhyun inhales a lungful of smoke, your reply comes right after.

From Y/n: You said that last night too.

From Y/n: So, does this mean something happened? 

His fingers hover over the keyboard as he blows out the smoke burning his throat and Baekhyun doesn’t really know what to reply. He doesn’t want to lie to you, but he doesn’t want to get you in his mess, much less disappoint you. He blinks a few times as if this would clean his mind as he leans his head back against the wall behind him, looking at the ceiling. Another lungful of smoke and he looks around the place. How can he talk to you in a moment like this?

Baekhyun takes a long drag and rubs his eyes with the knuckle of his thumb. Stretching out one of his legs, he groans when the muscle pulls at the wrong places, he focusing on blowing out the smoke. Looking around the messy office what you said to him comes to his mind, he remembers the way you held his hand and looked in his eyes while speaking to him, you faced that same cold-hearted bastard he sees in the mirror every day, still you saw someone different.

“—where you come from, what you are right now. These things don’t define you, they don’t define your future.”, it’s almost as if he can hear you saying it to him again. But, what would you say if you saw all of this? Would you believe in the bastard that just sent Suho to a hospital for revenge or would you still see him as the golden-hearted Baekhyun? There’s just one of him and this is it. The homeroom teacher is right, everyone knows better than expect anything good from him, so why do you?

It’s really as if at the moment he’s with you, he’s really someone else, someone different than that cold-hearted bastard that is attempting to destroy his own family. What he did certainly was not what you meant when you said all that to him, you’d be disappointed if you knew. But what he did can’t be taken back. So what should he do now? Taking another drag on his cigarette, he looks at the phone screen and another message arrives.

From Y/n: Is it /that/ bad? 

He takes another drag on his cigarette before typing.

To Y/n: I have to go. 

To Y/n: Let’s meet at that place tomorrow, I’ll bring us lunch. 

Your reply comes right after. 

From Y/n: If you’re hurt, then stay home tomorrow.

 From Y/n: I can take notes for you.

 Baekhyun doesn’t notice his smile when he reads it and his answer comes out naturally.

To Y/n: No. I’ll go. 

He’s smiling like a fool, even if his lip hurts and he didn’t realize his cigarette has burned out

From Y/n: Then, let me make the lunch tomorrow, instead.

 When Minseok knocks on the open door to announce himself he really can’t believe the person he see sitting there is really Baekhyun. How long has it been since last saw Baekhyun really smiling? Even when Baekhyun’s looking at him his expression is much different from that arrogant façade he’s been wearing the past years.

“What?”, Minseok likes how Baekhyun doesn’t force a command or an unnecessary boredom when he speaks.

“You gotta see this?”, Minseok replies after a moment

“Can you take care of it? I have to go somewhere”, Minseok watches as Baekhyun puts his jacket on, hissing at the pain when he moves his one arm that is hurt, “Call me if anything comes up”

“Sure”, Minseok frowns and follows as Baekhyun walks past him

“I’m going out for a bit, okay?”, Baekhyun tells Jongdae when he passes by the other who’s busy giving orders.

“Are you going to drive with your arm like this?”, Jongdae frowns and Minseok stops him

“Wait, I’ll call one of the boys to drive you”

“No, it’s okay”, Baekhyun pats his friend’s back before walking away,

“Where are you going?”, Minseok half-yells

“To the hospital!”, Baekhyun replies without thinking

“You wha– Byun Baekhyun! Don’t lie~!”

Jongdae’s yells bounces off the walls of the trashed building, but Baekhyun’s doesn’t bother replying. Simply smiles playfully while waving to his friends with his one good hand while the doors to the elevator closes.

You wave goodnight and goodbye to your friend at the usual crossroad and your phone buzzes in your pocket.

From Baekhyun: Class president, is it okay for you to just walk around in a desert place so late at night? 

You look around and half-smiles when you see the red Porshe parked not too far from you. Baekhyun waves at you with his phone and you can’t avoid noticing his arm pulled strangely against his chest. You hurry to meet him there.

“I told you wouldn’t want to see it”, he tells you when you try looking closer at his arm and winces when you try to have a better look.

“This looks broken. You should be in a hospital”, your attention is on his arms, but his eyes are on you, “I can’t help you with this one”

You pay closer attention to his face, the purple marks and cuts are worse than what he had the night before and without thinking you reach out to touch them. Too focused to notice how his eyes wander on your feature, the worry and carefulness he saw the night before are there again. It’s almost like his heart is melting, that crook that stares at him in the mirrors can’t seem to feel this. It’s really as if at this moment, he’s someone else, someone different than that cold-hearted bastard he was so sure to be not too long ago.

“The cuts are open again. You really should—”, you gasp, surprised when Baekhyun leans down to kiss you, cupping your cheek.

Much like the night before, his kiss is sweet, almost chaste at first. He’s always careful, but not with him because he pulls you close to him despite his broken arm. His thumb massages your cheek, his hand slides down your neck to cradle your head. When he tries to pull a little closer with his arm around your waist, he’s reminded of his state and pulls back, wincing with pain.

“You really should go to a hospital”

“It’s okay. I’ll call the doctor when I get home”, you step back and tilt your head, looking up at him with a frown, “What?”

“Baekhyun”, there goes his heart stumbling again, “Do you have a problem with hospitals?”, he hesitates before replying 

“No”

“Really?”

You cross your arms stubbornly and Baekhyun looks away licking his lips. It’s quite amazing how you seem to read him so easily, something even bigger than that is how you just seem to turn into this person that makes that unlucky, scary bastard he’s grown to look nothing but a shady stranger he forgets about easily and Baekhyun still trying to figure out how you do what you do to him. When it comes to you, he has more questions than answers.

⁎ ⁎ ⁎

His heart is racing one mile per second the moment he stops the car in front of the hospital and it takes Baekhyun more than he’d ever admit walking into the building without hyperventilating. He wishes he could smoke, that’d ease some of this anxiety crawling its way up in him

Baekhyun doesn’t like the smells, the nurses much less doctors, the overly bright lights all around him— All that has Baekhyun’s hesitating during the two minutes time the nurse went and came back with the response that the doctor would see him right away.

“And you’re really here!” The young doctor really seems surprised when Baekhyun walks in his room without any ceremony, “Good night to you too, Baek!”

Siwon stands up right away, knowing fairly well how Baekhyun deals with hospitals.

“Why didn’t you just called?” He asks again.

Baekhyun’s obviously too nervous to say something at first and for some time, he take his time between examining, diagnosing, and talking Baekhyun down from his agitated state of mind due this hospital phobia he has.

“There’s something I want to ask you”, Baekhyun says out of nowhere after refusing any conversation and Siwon glances up at him while working a cast around his arm.

Siwon looks up but his eyes find a very different expression on Baekhyun’s face, something much different than that cold indifference he always seems to wear.

“What is it?”

Baekhyun makes a pause and bites the inside of his cheek. It’s like Siwon’s seeing that playful and easily hyped boy again after so long.

“How did you walk out of that world?” Siwon frowns

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone says the only escape from this world is the afterlife, but you— You made it out and has a successful career as a doctor. How did you do it?”, Siwon finishes and after taking off the gloves he leans back.

“That world isn’t a place someone leaves, Baek. It comes back to bite when you least expect, I just consider myself lucky to find a comfortable position that allows me to play dumb”, Siwon says with a bitter half-smile playing on his lips, “It’s worse than you think”

Baekhyun keeps himself quiet, pondering Siwon’s answer by himself until the painkiller had some effect on him along with his tiredness. He barely noticed being taken to a private room before drifting to sleep.

“Baek?”, Jongdae barges into his room, “You’re really here! Why? How bad is it? I didn’t know Suho could really do anything–”

“It’s nothing, I’m fine. How did you know I was here?”

“Siwon called me. Since when you come all the way to the hospital for nothing? 

“I need you to drive me home”

“Sure, my car’s outside”

“No!”, Baekhyun’s feeling quite sleepy already, “I can’t let Baby stay parked here”

“So— You want me to drive your Baby?” Jongdae asks suspiciously, “—the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I can’t drive like this.”, Baekhyun tries to sit up and Jongdae hurries to help him lean back, “How are things back there?”

“I left Minseok in charge, so don’t worry about it”, Jongdae himself is worried sick, Baekhyun can tell.

“How about Yixing?”

“He’s taking the first flight”

“Good”, Baekhyun swallows thickly, it’s getting hard to stay awake, “I can’t let that person see me like this—”, he mumbles unknowingly.

“Who?”

“Y/n”, Jongdae sighs and watches as Baekhyun drifts into sleep.

Baekhyun wakes up with the alarm on his phone ringing annoyingly and he naturally reaches for where supposed to be his nightstand, except that it’s not there. He tries reaching to the other side, not there, he tries taunting around the bed, but this bed is smaller than his. Where is he? Still feeling drowsy and dizzy he raises his head to look around and even if he takes a moment or two he recognizes Jongdae’s guest bedroom.

“Morning”, Jongdae mocks at him when Baekhyun walks in the kitchen

Baekhyun groans in reply, his whole body aches and his arm in a cast itches.

“Why am here?” The view from the wall-size window from the penthouse is gorgeous, but Baekhyun is used to it.

“Apparently Mr. Kim is letting Suho go berserk”, he watches as Baekhyun sits down across from him at the table, “I ordered breakfast”, he pushes the package to Baekhyun

“He must know I’m here”, the younger says while gulping down on the coffee

“I’m sure he does. It’s still safer than being at his house”

“Where’s my uniform?”

“What? You’re going to school? Are you insane?”

“Can you drive me there?”

“Hey! Baek, aren’t you going a little too far for that person?”

“Huh? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

⁎ ⁎ ⁎ 

Jongdae can’t really believe even he’s walking by Baekhyun’s side in the school hallways. He follows his friend to the classroom and obviously, every student on their way step aside, glancing at them and whispering their theories between themselves about how they got so messed up and who did it, not that any of it bothers any of them or the others following behind them.

The homeroom teacher tries hiding an amused smile the moment he walks in class and right after the morning greeting and the roll call, he announces the date to the first ranking-worth quiz says: “If you studied hard and dedicated yourself to your future, then there’s nothing to worry about, but—”, the man pauses and makes sure to direct a pointed look at Baekhyun,, “If you come to school to kill time, take some consideration on your classmate’s reputation and just don’t show up.”

During lunch, you find him sitting on the floor of the balcony, eyes closed and head resting against the wall with a frown and it’s the sounds of your steps that makes him open his eyes.

“Worried about your score?” You ask playfully

“No”, his lips are pulled to one side in an un-humorous smile, “I already know how it’ll turn out?”

“How?” He follows your movements as you seat next to him

“I don’t think I should show up that day”, he chuckles bitterly to himself.

“It’s just a quiz”, you turn to look at him, “If you go through the workbooks and some notes, it’ll be okay”, he blinks a couple of times when he looks at you.

“I’m not that smart”, Baekhyun comments with amusement

“I heard the teachers saying you used to get high grades before”, you say matter-of-factly

“Of all the rumors about me you listen to this one?” He shakes his head, “What about the others?”

“What about them?” You ask as you open the lunchbox you made for the both of you, he doesn’t say anything, so you look up and he’s are already waiting

“Shouldn’t you ask me about them? If they’re true?” You tilt your head when he interrupts himself for a moment, “Isn’t there anything you want to ask me about what you saw that day between me and my older brother? Or why am I like this?” Baekhyun raises his casted arm a little to make a point, “About this or Mr. Kim’s business. About what happened with other students these past three years. All that. Aren’t you curious about those things? How much of a bad person I really am, how wrong about me you can be?”

“You protect the students that are considered a nobody, so they join you when they feel grateful and protected. Whatever happens between you and your brother is a family matter, why would I want to ask something like this?”

Baekhyun’s fascinated and his eyes searches yours as you lean your arm on his knee that is pulled up close to his chest and you rest your chin on your arm. He tries to justify this weird thing he feels, something that – as stupid as it sounds – feels like a million butterflies in his stomach.

For a moment or two you don’t say anything, and he doesn’t either, it’s a necessary silence in which Baekhyun knows you’re not just playing some sort of trick nor trying to deceive him in any way, like that night, you’re speaking honestly to him and it warms up his heart once again. The stubborn organ, against his will, starts a race on its own and maybe looking into your eyes like that is too much, but he can’t just look away.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in what kind of bad person you push yourself to be or what others picture you. I want to know the Baekhyun that is willing to push his friends away just, so they can lead life a better without him.”

You make a pause and reach out to brush the red strand of hair that falls on his forehead in a perfect wave, his hair is soft and smooth and his eyes wavers on yours while his heart runs wild.

“Baekhyun!”, there it goes his heart stuttering again, “A real rotten, bad person doesn’t have loyal friends”, he reaches up to take your hand in his and his fingers intertwined with yours, like a second nature.

“Why are you so good to me?”

“There too much people looking down on you. Someone has to remind you about the good person you are too”

Your smile is much brighter than the sun shining above that blue, clear sky. Baekhyun has never felt this lucky in his life

“Oh!”, he tilts his head when you pull back with a surprised expression.

“What?”

“This smile of yours”, you point at the open and easy smile he just mindlessly gave you, a natural reaction to yours, “it’s the first time I see it!”, and, no, Baekhyun’s definitely not blushing, it’s just the weather getting to him, “I want to take a picture”

You try pulling your phone out and he tries to snatch from your hands.

“What are you doing?”

“Just a picture!”

“No! Forget it!”

“Why~? You look adorable smiling like that.”

“What kind of nonsense are you—”, you giggle and manages to take a blurry picture, “Don’t!” 

“Cute! Byun Baekhyun is a shy boy~”

“Whoa! Y/n is a bully!” He teases, “Who would know?”

The world is fireworks, smiles and full of warmth and peaceful when you’re with Baekhyun, when he’s surrounded by you. It’s so easy to dive into this new world he didn’t knew he needed. He’s just fine with this even if it only exists when the two of you are together secretly like this, everywhere else you’re the perfect straight A student, kind and neat.

The juniors admire you, the basketball team is successful thanks to how much hard work you pour on the club even when you’re working so hard with cram school too and even with all that you still find time for volunteer work during the weekend at the community nursery home with your mother.

Aside from his best friends, no one knows about what he has with you and it’s better this way. He’s still the bastard everyone sees him at, he’s still in a cold-war with his own family over the business he took over, maybe he’s greedy for keeping you as well. Everyone would see something like this isn’t right. However, you still choose to be with him, it’s almost like a miracle.

The harsh world he lives in with all the daggers pointing at him seems to lose its effect the moment he sees you. His smile just appears, simple as that. All he needs is to have you by his side and nothing else really takes effect, not even when he has a face-off with Mr. Kim and has a death threat swaying over his head.

Seeing you walking towards him with a smile is enough to make him believe that nothing can beat him up. He has to keep going to see you smile like this again. Baekhyun pulls you close and kisses you because, right now, he can do this, as long as you want him next to you, why would he let an old man order him around?

⇽ part 3 | part 5 ⇾

#exowritersnet #kwordsmiths #kkreationsnet #kpopwonderlandtag #kwriterskollection #allkpopnet #mine #mine: fanfic #baekhyun fanfic #backhyun fanfiction #baekhyun fic #baekhyun scenario #exo fanfic #exo scenario #exo fic #exo fanfiction #exo angst #exo gang au #exo high school au #baekhyun angst #chanyeol angst #chanyeol scenario #chanyeol fanfic #chanyeol fic #chanyeol fanfiction #chanyeol gang au #chanyeol high school au #baekhyun gang au

[k-popscenxrios]

Didn’t Ask For This Pt 17 (Roommate!JK x OC)

A/N: AHHH!! Sorry this took so long to finally post!! I’ve been playing BTS World busy lately being social with friends and then I had to work, so it took longer than I wanted! But the wait is finally over, and I’m so excited to post this! The next part should be the finale, and I’m going to try and get it out before the 4th of July! Please help me stick to that goal lol

Summary: “I didn’t know you hated me so much,” he spoke as he grabbed my wrist and once again turned me around to face him, “and quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve done anything horrible enough for you to hate me to the degree that you do.” “You say that like the hate isn’t mutual,” I remarked as he shook his head. There was a bitter smile on his face as he took a deep breath, “I think you are quite honestly one of the worst human beings I’ve had to come in contact with.”

7.3k words | drama ✞ | fluff ♡ | mature themes ✗

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Finale

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

Jungkook’s eyes refused to meet mine after finishing the story of what had happened. I wanted to be upset over it all because that tramp kissed my boyfriend, but I was more worried than anything. She’s transferring to his college, and who knows how often he might run into her? I had no idea the likelihood of that happening, but it was more likely than Jungkook and I running into each other during the school months, that’s for sure.

“I’m…”  I started as Jungkook slightly flinched, “I’m not mad, Jungkook. I’m glad you told me what happened.” Jungkook seemed to release a lot of tension after I said that, and I softly smiled seeing him relax a little.

“I just want to know what makes you think it’s a good idea to try pushing me away?”

Jungkook’s eyes shifted to look into mine as I noticed him slightly tense again. Unease started stirring in the pit of my stomach as I watched him and his expressions very carefully. Why was that question so unnerving for him?

“I-I…” he stuttered as I blinked to try and keep myself calm. Everything’s going to be okay, and I can’t forget that. We’re going to work this out. I know we are...

“I’m afraid that I won’t stay faithful to you.”

His words were simple and short when coming out of his mouth, but the impact that they had on my heart was tremendous. We’d been so connected to each other the past few weeks of the summer, and nothing was separating the two of us. We’d argue and bicker, but at the end of the day, we’d be smiling and cuddling with one another. It's been so long since I had been legitimately scared for us. The last time I felt this horrible was when we had told Taehyung the truth between us.

We’d had our fair share of issues, but infidelity had never even come up between us.

“You think…” I nearly choked on an upcoming sob that I was able to suppress in my throat. My tears were begging to fall from my eyes as I looked down, “Y-You think that you’ll cheat on me?”

I could sense Jungkook’s panic at just how pathetic I felt after what he said. I couldn’t believe that this was even an issue he was worried about. I never imagined that he would have doubts about his self control.

“What, is Jennie that irresistible that you can only push her away for so long?” my sadness was shifting to bitterness as Jungkook’s wide eyes stared into my dark and depressed ones. “If you’re that horny, what’s stopping you from coming here to see me over some of your weekends? You have no reason to even look at another girl with lust when I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s the problem!” Jungkook choked out, his eyes pure fear, “You’re not going anywhere. You’re staying right here and probably never going to leave.”

“I’m not leaving here until college is over, sure,” I nodded, but it was a strained nod, “But what’s stopping me from leaving here once that happens?”

“But you have three years of school left at least,” Jungkook shook his head. His eyes were telling me that this was killing him inside, but I wasn’t feeling any warmth coming from his body. I also couldn’t feel anything but contempt for him as his confession continued to play through my head. We were sitting so close to one another, but I felt like I was so far away from him. “I’ve been looking in the job market for after I graduate in May, and all the good jobs are hundreds of miles from here.”

“What’s wrong with the jobs in this area?” I asked, the panic in my voice very evident as I ran a shaky hand through my hair, “Jungkook, I know for a fact that they have plenty of jobs in this area for your degree.”

“Their pay grade is super low,” Jungkook stated as my mouth froze right before I spoke the words that I was about to say. The pay grade is low, huh?

“I see,” I nodded, getting up from his bed as I took a deep breath, giving in to my sobs that I had done such a good job of repressing until this moment. I had stood up to move out of his room, but with my back facing him and my body no more than a foot from his bed, I froze where I stood, “I’m the world’s biggest idiot for falling in love with you if s-something like a pay grade is keeping you from me.”

“Shit, Ari, I’m sorry,” he sounded shaken, but I felt no sympathy for him. “I’m so fucking sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, I swear.”

“So you’re sorry for the pay comment but not about you being so eager that you’ll sleep with any girl that gives you even the slightest interest,” I spat, nearly running out of breath. I felt pitiful standing in the middle of his room, and I had to resist the urge to run and hide in my room for the rest of the day.

Jungkook started moving to get up from his bed as I suddenly felt very desperate to stay away from Jungkook. The more I thought about what he’d said, the worse I felt.

“Ari, I didn’t mean that, I just-”

I spun around and angrily wiped my tears away, “If that’s true, you wouldn’t have even thought of saying them.”

“A-Ari,” he reached out to stop me from leaving, but I was quicker than him. I backed away and turned to stumble into my room, locking the door behind me. It wasn’t long before I heard Jungkook press himself up against the door.

“I-I didn’t mean it, Ari. I really didn’t. I could never even think about cheating on you.”

“Then why the hell would you say it?!”

I didn’t mean to yell because quite honestly, I didn’t like raising my voice. I especially hated raising my voice at Jungkook. I just couldn’t handle just how he would even think to say that to me.

“I’m sorry, Ari, I’m just scared…”

His voice was soft and barely made its way through my door, but I ripped myself away from that side of my room. I gave him a chance to explain himself, and all he did was spew things out to hurt me. I had no obligation to give him another chance. I just needed to have some time to myself.

As much as I hated it, Jungkook and I were losing this day, too. I could only hope that we could work this through tomorrow… I could only hope that I’ll be willing to forgive him tomorrow.

::

Jungkook and I have the same cleaning shift today, and we're stuck working alone. When we initially got the schedule, I was thrilled to no end about working with Jungkook. It wasn’t often that we got to work together alone. We normally were either split jobs with him on concessions and me on cleaning, or we’d have a third and/or fourth person with us while cleaning theaters.

I reluctantly agreed to ride with Jungkook, and the only reason I agreed was because of Taehyung.

“You two are only going to be working together for so much longer,” Taehyung frowned and pulled me out of my room. I could only assume that Jungkook had told him about our fight the day before. I stayed in my room all day yesterday to avoid the two of them, but today I wasn’t so lucky.

Maybe it won’t be so bad to have these two toxic boys out of my apartment.

“You seemed awfully fine with keeping up Jungkook’s charade the other night,” I commented as we stepped into the living room. Jungkook looked up at the two of us from his phone screen, sitting on the couch with his legs pulled up on the couch under him.

“You two have to work this out,” Taehyung patted me on the back before shoving me in Jungkook’s direction. Both of our faces shifted to discomfort, but Taehyung wasn’t giving up.

“At least agree to ride to work together. You two need to talk this out.”

So here I was, sitting in the passenger’s seat of Jungkook’s car. It wasn’t an unusual setting for the two of us since we always drove to work together ever since we became an official couple. However, riding to work today was deafeningly silent, neither one of us wanting to say anything to the other person. I was still hurt from Jungkook’s infidelity comment, and he was still convinced that we’re better off breaking up before he goes off to college.

I couldn’t help but be pissed at him the more I thought about it. He promised me when we got together that we would work something out at the end of the summer, yet here we are.

“You know,” I tried to hold my tongue, but when it came to Jungkook, it was really hard for me to, “If I had known that you were going to chicken out of this relationship at the end of the summer, I would have tried to make it work with Hoseok.”

I noticed Jungkook’s grip on his steering wheel tighten at my remark. I knew that what I said would get to him, and quite honestly, I didn’t mind hurting his feelings right now. He’s made me so angry that I almost found pleasure in angering him. It was a feeling reminiscent of the beginning of the summer.

“Maybe you would have been better off.”

My breathing stopped short after that comment came out of his mouth. I had intended to make him jealous, but instead I just felt worse. I felt my eyes narrowing at the road in front of us as we stopped at a red light.

I turned my head to face away from his before uttering out my next words, “You’re probably right.”

…

Yoongi was very quick to pick up the discomfort between Jungkook and I. We had simply walked through the door to the lobby, and one look at the two of us had him narrowing his eyes at me.

“What was all that ish about making up with Jungkook, your days being numbered, and whatnot?” He started grilling me for information when I walked up to his station at the podium. It wasn’t often that Yoongi was stuck with tearing tickets at the theaters’ entrance, but tonight happened to be one of those nights.

“Well, I said all that before he told me that he can’t promise he won’t cheat on me when he goes off to college.”

Yoongi grimaced and looked at Jungkook who was quickly approaching us. It was as if he knew that we had been talking about him.

“Yikes. Kid’s a pretty big idiot for that one.”

“Ya’ think?”

We stopped talking as Jungkook finally came within earshot. He looked tense since he knew he was outnumbered standing here with Yoongi by my side.

“Anyway,” I sighed loudly and turned to Yoongi. His eyes widened as he noted the tone in my voice. He predicted what was about to come out of my mouth before I had the chance to say it judging from his grimace. “I look forward to rooming with you, Min. I’ll let you know when Jeon and Tae officially move out.”

I didn’t even glance at Jungkook after casually mentioning that Yoongi was planning on moving in with me. He didn’t dare say anything as he silently followed behind me.

…

The air was mostly tense as we cleaned the theaters together. I could tell that Jungkook was debating saying something to me at certain points of the night, but he would eventually decide against it.

It wasn’t until we had finished up our fifth theater that Jungkook conjured up the courage to ask what he had been dying to ask for the past thirty minutes.

“So,” he started, causing me to look back at him. I had just finished dumping my dustpan’s trash into the garbage as Jungkook moved to do the same. “Yoongi’s moving in after we leave?”

“Yep.” I nodded, answering short and sweet. I didn’t want to volunteer any information to him. I wanted him to ask if he really wanted to know bad enough.

“Oh.”

The conversation died there as the two of us continued walking with one another. I started to feel my heart aching at the silence, and I was nothing short of confused.

I dared myself to glance Jungkook’s way, my eyes locking into his to my surprise. I had been so indifferent around him up until now. I allowed my anger to get the best of me, but now…

The thought of Jungkook leaving in four days was something that I had failed to remember until the moment our eyes locked. It was something that my voice had been telling me in the back of my mind, but this moment was when I decided to start hearing it again.

This wasn’t the beginning of the summer. We didn’t have all kinds of time to argue and slowly forgive each other. If we don’t make up before these next days are up, things will never be the same between us. Jungkook will just be written out of my life as my first boyfriend and first love.

There was a huge part of me that was hoping that he would be my first and last.

As I looked into Jungkook’s eyes, I felt my jaw tighten. Those were the eyes of the man that I love and the man that I desperately want to be with in the coming years. I want us to grow and become better people for each other. I never want to imagine my life without him.

I was dying for him to feel the same way about me.

“Kook,” I spoke before thinking about what I was going to say. I had his full attention as we slowly walked into our next theater, stopping once we got inside. I could sense a shift between us as the mood became a lot less tense. 

“I’m sorry.”

My mouth hung open as if I was going to say something, but Jungkook’s words had caught me off guard. I thought that he was still angry with me over my passive comments, but obviously I was wrong. He moved closer to me, but he didn’t reach out to touch me.

“I can’t stand you being upset with me like this. I thought pushing you away was the best thing I could do for you, but I’m so incredibly wrong,” his eyebrows furrowed as he took a deep breath through his nose. “I-I want you to have the best, Ari. I want you to have the best phone, the best car, the best house. I want to be able to provide for you all of those things. I.. I know that I could never cheat on you, I’m just scared. I’m scared of how it’s going to be once Taehyung and I leave. I’m just an ass and… and I was assuming that you might rather have someone else than wait for me.”

It took me several seconds of processing as my brain tried to catch up with his words. I wasn’t surprised that his comment about cheating was half-hearted, but I couldn’t believe that he thought that I cared that much about money. If I was that greedy, I would not be working the job that I am.

“Jungkook, I don’t care about having the best of anything if I don’t have you,” I took a step closer to him as he stayed rooted in place. “I don’t care about money, especially if that’s your reasoning for pushing me away. If you can stand working a job here with a lower pay while you wait for me to get out of college, we could move somewhere together where the job opportunities are better..”

Jungkook didn’t say anything as his eyes stared deep into mine. It looked like he was searching for something in them, his expression softening as I spoke my next words.

“And you’re such an ass for breaking my heart over that cheating comment. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it, douchebag,” I kept my emotions in check with a few deep breaths as Jungkook swallowed, reluctantly reaching out to me. His hand brushed against my forearm on it’s way to rest on my hip. I looked down at the contact before looking up at Jungkook, my heartbeat increasing tremendously.

“I’m a fucking idiot to think that I could live without you.”

His words were like a spell as I felt all tension and remorse being lifted from the two of us. The air felt comfortable and enlightening as Jungkook’s hand slid to press against my back, pulling my body flush against his. My hands were quick to rest on his shoulders at the base of his neck as we silently stared at each other.

Just the simple action of looking into his soft eyes brought be back to the day he walked into my apartment with his duffle bag and his cocky attitude. He spent more time teasing me than he did talking to Taehyung, and that thought made me smile. Jungkook’s head tilted in slight confusion to my sudden smile as I looked down to try and hide it from him.

“You know,” I spoke against his shirt as I felt Jungkook bury his nose in my hair, “I would have never imagined that you would turn out to be a pretty decent guy. Thinking back to the beginning of the summer always amuses me. Mr. “I’m never wrong” actually apologized to Soomin despite everything she did to you. That’s a vast improvement of who you used to be.”

“I can’t believe you still talk to that tramp,” Jungkook mumbled as I silently agreed with him. Jungkook still hasn’t forgiven Soomin for telling Taehyung about us, and to be honest, I haven’t forgiven her either. She’s just such a mess of a person that I can’t help but at least try to keep her from falling off the deep end.

“Focus on the conversation at hand,” I scolded, poking my finger into his collarbone. I moved my head from his chest to look up at him as I felt my insides melting. He was looking at me with the softest, widest eyes he could possibly have as I leaned up to press a soft kiss to his lips.

I had intended for the kiss to be a short and sweet one, but once our lips made contact, something in Jungkook snapped. His soft hold suddenly became a desperate hug around my waist as I allowed him to hold me firmly to him. His pillowy lips applied more pressure to our kiss as I brushed my fingers along the bare skin of his neck.

It had only been a few days since we had last kissed, but it was the longest we had been without kissing the other since becoming a couple.

“I want you to come to Uni with me,” Jungkook pulled away slightly to look me in the eyes. He wasn’t kidding despite how ridiculous his request was.

“Wouldn’t that be nice,” I let out a soft laugh, but it was slightly pained, “You said so yourself, I’m too dumb for your university.”

Jungkook didn’t crack even a small smile as I felt mine slowly fading away.

“What if you took a leap year?” he swallowed and gripped at the fabric on the back of my shirt, “You could come and live with Taehyung and I.”

“You two are living in the dorms, Kook,” I swallowed as I started thinking about the possibilities. It couldn’t happen, it won’t happen, and I didn’t need to get my hopes up.

“We’d get an apartment near campus. You could even apply to work at the movie theater in town. It would be like nothing changed.”

A nice as it sounded to not have to leave Jungkook, I just… wasn’t excited about the idea. I would be dropping school for a year to live in a place that I’m unfamiliar with. I’d have no friends to rely on when Jungkook and I got in an argument. I wouldn’t have anyone to spend time with or joke around with when Jungkook and Taehyung were busy.

I’d just sit at home and wait for them to get back from school. Not to mention that working at another movie theater would not feel the same as it does here. I have friends here, best friends who I love and enjoy working with.

Speaking of friends, I’d already agreed to living with Yoongi once Jungkook and Taehyung leave. I’d feel horrible if I turned him down after agreeing to live together.

“Kook…” his hopeful expression immediately fell when he heard the tone of my voice. He already knew what was coming, and he was sorely disappointed in my decision. “I can’t just pick up and leave. I’ve signed up for my classes this year and I’ve already made roommate arrangements. I have a lease on my apartment that doesn’t run out until December. Nothing aligns for that to seem like a good idea.

His disappointment made me feel horrible as I cupped his face in my hands. “I love you, Kook. We’ll be okay if we have to spend a few months apart. You can call me when you miss me, and nothing’s stopping you from coming to visit me over some of your weekends.”

He pressed his forehead against mine and tried to hide his disappointment. He wasn’t doing a very good job of it. “I’m going to miss the hell out of you, babe.”

I don’t know why, but the way that Jungkook said those words knocked the breath out of me. His voice was so soft and pure, every syllable being etched into my mind. I played the words over and over again in my head like a broken record, a soft smile leaking into my features.

“I’m going to really miss you, too, Kook.”

…

Yoongi didn’t seem surprised anymore when it came to Jungkook and I, so when we walked up to him with smiles on our faces, he didn’t seem phased.

“We’re done with our first round of theaters,” I informed, “So please stop asking me what theaters are clean over the ‘talkie. It’s getting kinda old.”

Yoongi grabbed the walkie talkie and held it up to his mouth, pressing the button to speak, “Sorry, you said that 7 is clean, right?”

I sent him a sarcastic smile and was reaching for the walkie talkie I had hooked to my waistband. I felt it being snatched from my hip as I raised my eyebrows, eyes trailing up to an amused Jungkook.

“I think she said that 7 isn’t clean. Don’t send anyone back until she gives the all clear.”

I swiped the walkie talkie from Jungkook as I glared at him, “Stop that before I send the both of you in there to vacuum the floors.”

At the mention of the dreaded vacuuming job, the both of them were quick to shut up. I looked in between the two of them for a few silent seconds before winking, a devious smile on my face.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” I spoke into the walkie talkie as I turned around and started walking away, “I’m going on my break. Later losers.”

I heard Jungkook’s jogging footsteps behind me as I glanced over at his form appearing next to me, “Not without me, you’re not!”

::

“I’m really disappointed in Jungkook.”

I snapped my neck in the direction of the general manager, Seokjin. He had been mumbling to himself for a few seconds as I stood in the back room, waiting for Jungkook to get back from the bathroom.

“Why?”

Seokjin raised his eyebrows and looked at me, pursing his lips for a few seconds. It was like he was trying to figure out what to say to me, “Well courteous employees give a two weeks notice when they’re leaving their job.”

My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I realized that Jungkook still hadn’t told me when he was leaving. I had been so caught up in trying to make up with him that I forgot that I didn’t actually know when he and Taehyung are moving out.

“Well when’s his last day?” I asked as Seokjin’s confusion continued to increase. I could only assume that he thought I should already know this information. He knew we were close. Of course, he didn’t know that we’re dating. I was afraid to disclose that information in fear that he would quit scheduling us together.

“He asked for it to be this Saturday.”

This Saturday… I could feel my stomach dropping as I finally got the confirmation that I needed. Jungkook’s leaving in four days, and he’s been holding out on letting me know that. He’s obviously not very good at making smart decisions.

“Oh,” I nodded, turning around and trying to hide my very upset and depressed expression from him, “Thanks for letting me know. Jungkook refused to tell me when he’s leaving.”

I didn’t give Seokjin a chance to respond to my remark, rushing out from the back room. I wanted to talk to Yoongi. He could help me cheer up. It’s okay. It’s fine that he’s leaving in four days. That’s plenty of time for us to spend together before he leaves…

As I walked up to Yoongi who was closing down the podium for the night, I could feel the evident frown on my face.

“Oh great,” Yoongi sighed and turned to me with an almost fed up expression. It only took him a couple seconds for his annoyance to soften into pity.

I moved closer to him before daringly wrapping my arms around Yoongi’s form. His body tensed against mine as I got a good whiff of his shampoo that I remembered smelling the time he had suddenly kissed me.

“You okay, Ari?”

I shook my head into his clothes as his arms slowly and almost reluctantly wrapped around me.

“Jungkook’s leaving me in four days and I’m not ready to let him go…”

I heard a sigh from Yoongi’s mouth as he tried to softly push me away from him. I looked up at him with my depressed eyes as he froze and swallowed. The look in my eyes cracked him as he bit his lip and pulled my body back into his.

“You’ll see him again, Ari. You two will be okay.”

I nodded in agreement because Jungkook and I were going to be fine. Jungkook’s going to shove Jennie away from him with all his might, and I’m going to patiently wait for Jungkook to finish up college so that he can move back here with me.

I just needed to think about our future together and stop thinking about all the depressing sides of the story. This is only temporary.

“Ari,” Yoongi spoke as I just hummed in response, “I think Jungkook is more suited to comfort you over this. Plus, he’s kinda sending me a murderous glare.”

I felt a smile break out on my face despite the situation I was in. Pulling away from Yoongi, it wasn’t long before I spotted Jungkook across the lobby watching the two of us.

I walked away without saying goodbye to Yoongi, but he didn’t seem too care. With Jungkook and I walking toward the other, it was only a few seconds before we stood face to face. I wanted to bring up his sudden leave, but it wasn’t exactly the most appropriate place to talk about it.

Instead of saying anything to him, I grabbed his hand and started pulling him toward the back room.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, moving to grab my hand with his, intertwining our fingers together. I just nodded tightly, squeezing his hand. I needed to memorize this feeling before I’m not able to feel it anymore.

“I’ve never been better.”

…

The car ride was mostly silent, but it wasn’t an awkward silent like the ride from before work. Our fingers were interlocked, resting on the console of the car. The music was low and calming as I stared at Jungkook shamelessly. He glanced at me every once in a while, but he didn’t look enough to endanger us and cause a crash.

I had been fighting with myself internally over the new information that Seokjin had told me. I wanted to grill him for information, but I was a little scared to disturb the peace. We’d just made up, and I had little to no desire to spark any conflicting conversations.

But if I don’t say something, it’ll be all I’m thinking about until he leaves.

“So…” I swallowed my nerves and decided to go for it, “...When are you and Tae leaving for sure? Have you decided?”

Jungkook didn’t seem to be uncomfortable with the question which was very relieving on my part. I watched him as his eyes stayed forward even as we slowed down at a red light. He opened his mouth to answer me, but closed it before any words came out.

I let him take his time, respecting the fact that this seemed hard for him to say. It wasn’t an easy subject to swallow.

“We haven’t decided when we’re leaving,” he confessed as I felt slight confusion set in. It didn’t seem like he was lying to me, but knowing that he set a sudden leave date for work had me skeptical. I wanted to directly ask him about it, but I decided to play dumb again.

“What about work? What have you told them about leaving?” I felt Jungkook’s hand tighten in mine at my question. I want him to tell me the truth, and if he lies to me, I might lose my mind.

“Seokjin thinks I’m leaving for the dorms on Sunday, so my last day at the theater is this Saturday. I requested that we work together that night, but he hasn’t sent the schedule out yet to reassure that we’ll work together,” Jungkook confessed as I just nodded, pretending as if all the information that he was giving me was new.

“But you’re not leaving for the dorms on Sunday, are you?”

The car was silent again as I took a deep breath awaiting Jungkook’s response. My nerves were shot and my body was growing more and more tired the longer the silence lasted. I watched his face carefully, but he was very good about keeping a blank expression. I couldn’t read him this way, and it was slightly annoying.

“...I don’t know…”

I felt my heart drop at his confession as I felt a frown form on my face. He didn’t know? We’re four days out from Sunday and he didn’t know yet?

“What’s Taehyung doing? Cause aren’t he and Hana in our same situation? He hasn’t liked talking to me about her as of late.” Jungkook glanced at me as his hand squeezed mine. We were almost home, and I wanted to finish this conversation before going inside.

“He’s not sure what he’s doing. He’s the one kinda pushing for leaving on Sunday. If… If I had it my way, I won’t leave until next Saturday.”

We were pulling into the parking lot as he said that, and I could feel my heart swell. He wants to stay till next Saturday? I bit my lip and felt a small smile appearing on my face.

“I can tell you right now that I would love for you to be here another week with or without Tae. You know what it’ll mean if it’s just you and me…”

Jungkook put the car in park and took a deep breath before looking at me. His face was tinted red a little as I smiled and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

“I think I’m gonna stay till next Saturday…” he almost whispered the words as he watched my lips hungirly. “I don’t want to leave you just yet.”

“And I don’t want you to leave just yet,” I responded before Jungkook leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. Our hands that had been holding each other moved apart to caress each other’s skin. I brushed my thumb against his arm as I felt his touch melt all my worries away.

“You know,” I smiled and leaned my forehead against his, “I’m looking forward to next summer already.”

Jungkook smiled and brushed his nose against mine, “Agreed.”

::

Taehyung was in the kitchen when Jungkook and I got home. I was about to rush in and throw a bunch of questions his way about when he was going to leave, but I froze when I saw Hana in the kitchen with him. My mouth that I had opened was now shut closed to avoid saying something weird in front of her.

Taehyung and Hana were very close, but I don’t think Taehyung ever actually asked her to be his girlfriend. She was over every once in a while, so her presence wasn’t a complete shock.

I just felt my voice being lost deep in my brain as I couldn’t help but notice that Hana wasn’t just over, she was wearing pajamas. And they weren’t hers, they were Taehyung’s.

I felt my face heat up as our eyes locked, and her face mirrored mine. Taehyung didn’t seem phased. He made it seem like it was every day that I came home to find him and Hana hanging out in the kitchen after doing who knows what in the apartment.

“Tae,” my voice came out high and squeaky as he just glanced my way for a second or two. It wasn’t long before his eyes were back on the tea he was making. “A minute in my room please?”

He raised an eyebrow while still looking at his tea, “Why your room? Do you have something you need to hide from Jungkook?”

I wanted to facepalm at his comment as I noticed Hana’s face was flaming. Was he dumb, or am I just looking too far into this? Maybe she has a different reason for being here in Taehyung’s pajamas.

“Just come here,” I slightly snapped as Taehyung found my reaction amusing.

“Okay,” he laughed before looking to Hana to make sure she was okay. She just nodded, her face still flaming with embarrassment. It wasn’t long before Taehyung and I stepped into my room, and when I turned to shut the door, I noticed Jungkook sending me a pout. He knows I’m going to tell him about this conversation later, so I don’t understand why he had to look at me like that…

“Do you want to explain something to me?”

Taehyung’s eyebrows raised at my question before he opened his mouth to speak, “What do I need to explain?”

I groaned in annoyance as a smile broke out on Taehyung’s face. He knew what he was doing… “Tae. This isn’t funny.”

“Okay, okay,” he giggled, calming himself down long enough to speak, “I invited Hana over for some dinner since you and Kook were at work. I told her that Kook and I were planning to leave on Sunday. She seemed really disappointed over it, but she continued on smiling, saying she was happy for me. Something just… clicked. One thing lead to another, and we…”

“That’s all you have to say,” I stopped him as Taehyung smiled and bit his lip, “I don’t want to hear any details. I just wanna know if this was a one time thing or if you’re actually going to be official.”

Taehyung smiled and sat on the edge of my bed, “We haven’t talked about it, actually. She told me that she thinks she’s in love with me, and I… I think I feel the same about her.”

“She told you she loves you?” my eyes widened as I rushed over to stand in front of Taehyung, “And you didn’t say it back?!”

“Whoa, Ari,” Taehyung grabbed onto the sides of my arms, “I didn’t want to say it until I was for sure. After all, we’d have to do the whole long distance thing starting out. At least you and Kook spent most of the summer together.”

I took a deep breath and nodded, calming myself down. Taehyung made a good point with that. I never saw him as the long distance type since he loves skinship, but I could see him seriously consider it while sitting right in front of me.

“Why’d you wait so long? You could have asked her out at the beginning of the summer and she would have said yes…” I trailed off as I saw a blush forming on Taehyung’s face. He’d dated before, most of the girls being around for at least a few months at a time before they ultimately broke up. It wasn’t like he’d never dated before now like it was for me.

I felt my face heat up as I thought back to Jungkook and I’s early days. He had been such a douchebag to me, yet I fell so hard for him in the end. If I hadn’t accepted him at the beginning of the summer, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now. Sure, we still fight like we did the past few days, but we were able to move past it so that we can spend the last of our days together savoring everything we have together.

“I don’t know,” Taehyung sighed in response, “I guess it’s because I feel different about her. I didn’t want to screw up what we had, but in hindsight, I’m mad at myself for not just taking a chance.”

I sat down next to Taehyung and wrapped my arm around his shoulders, “It’s not too late, Tae. Long distance relationships may suck, but if she’s really important to you, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t give it a shot.”

As if on cue, the door to my room slowly opened for Taehyung and I to see Jungkook stepping inside. I felt a small smile appear on my face at his sudden appearance. I figured he wouldn’t be able to stay away for more than a few minutes. He’s too nosy.

“Hey,” he said almost awkwardly as I just laughed and gestured for him to come in.

“Don’t you think that long distance relationships are worth a shot, Kook?” I asked him as he raised his eyebrows. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jungkook knew more about Taehyung and Hana’s relationship than I did, but in this moment, he seemed almost clueless to the root of the question.

“If this is a trick question,” he mumbled while looking at me with panicked eyes. I just stood up and shook my head, standing in front of him.

“Taehyung’s doubtful about having a long distance relationship with Hana,” I informed as Jungkook glanced over at Taehyung, “I want just trying to tell him that it’s not that bad in the grand scheme of things.”

Jungkook took a deep breath and looked back over to me. I continued to smile up at him before he grabbed my hand and pulled me against him. I felt my eyes widened and my face heated up at his sudden action, especially since Taehyung was in the room and watching us.

“If it means that I will one day get to spend every day seeing you again, it’s more than worth it.”

My heart jumped at his words as I smiled softly into his shirt. He smelled like his cologne that I love so much, and I’m going to miss smelling it… I might have to buy some just to spray every once in a while so that I could pretend that he’s still here…

“Thanks guys,” Taehyung spoke with no sarcasm underlying his words. I looked over Jungkook’s shoulder at my brother who was now fleeing the room. “If you two could stay here while I talk to Hana, I would really appreciate it.”

I gave him a thumbs up as Taehyung opened the door and walked out, closing it behind him almost violently. I jumped slightly at the noise as Jungkook let a soft laugh out his nose.

“I’m going to miss you,” Jungkook spoke as he pulled away from me so that he could look at me. “Don’t be surprised if I’m driving down here every chance that I get.”

I moved one of my hands to run through his hair as he leaned into my touch immediately, “That wouldn’t be fair for you. How about we alternate who drives to the other’s place?”

“But I live in the dorms on campus,” Jungkook was quick to inform as I bit my lip in disappointment. It was silent for a few seconds before Jungkook spoke up, uncertainty in his voice.

“M-my older sister lives near the campus, though. I’m sure she’d let you stay with her.”

My face heated up at Jungkook’s offer. Jungkook knew my family because of how often he was over at my house back in high school, but I didn’t know any of his. Of course, neither of our families knew about us being a couple... And I barely remembered that Jungkook has an older sister. Well, if my memory serves me correctly, she’s a half sister.

“I-I’ll think about it,” I looked down nervously as Jungkook shook his head and grabbed my chin with his soft hand. I was forced to look back at him as he just smiled.

“It’s just a suggestion. I’ll tell her about you before asking if you could stay with her,” Jungkook leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips, “I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to meet you, especially when she sees how much you’ve changed me.”

I swallowed and nodded, leaning up to place another kiss to his lips. This time he leaned further into me, careful to not knock me over with too much force. His hand that was still wrapped around me now run up and down my back to sooth me.

I pulled away for only a couple seconds to look into Jungkook’s eyes. I was going to miss looking into these eyes every day…

“You better say good things about me,” I teased as Jungkook let a slight laugh out before our lips connected again. Without warning, Jungkook hooked his arms to the back of my thighs and picked me up, holding my body completely against his while holding me up in the air. Our kiss hardly broke contact as he just stood in place, his grip on me tightening to make sure that I didn’t slip out of his hold. I could feel his rapid heartbeat against my chest as his lips hovered over mine.

“Same goes for you.”

I slightly giggled, “My family knows you already.”

Jungkook didn’t crack a smile, “Then make sure you remind them of how great I am.”

My eyes rolled as I buried my hands in his hair, holding his mouth to hover over mine, “Then remind me of how great you are, babe.”

I felt Jungkook’s skin shiver against me as his something seemed to snap within him. His eyes slightly narrowed as I just smirked at him. He moved his face away from mine as he pressed his mouth to my ear, whispering into it.

“Gladly.”

::

A/N: OKAY! This update is finally finished!!! I’m so happy to finally get this posted because I hated how long I kept you all waiting for this! Now you can go back to playing BTS World ;) (Also this games chapter difficulty curves really piss me off but guess who’s still playing anyway? Don’t even get me started on the Another Story missions from Chapter 2... -_-)

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

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