#honestly shouldn’t have gotten with your best friends wife even if you thought he was dead

[lucienvannserra]

Okay to be fair to Swift she had been tortured by Titanpride and was literally dying in that scene. If she had been healthier and had been able to talk to Loyal they probably could’ve come to an agreement.

Also Loyal just refuses to tell Fearless what oath he broke. I know he’s doing it out of respect but if he had told him, then Fearless might’ve been able to trust him and convince Valor to trust him too. He even could’ve hidden the truth and been vague about it “I thought a lion had died and I ended up having a cub with his mate but it turned out he was injured and hasn’t been able to return yet”

I mean Fearless probably would’ve been mad later on when he found out the actual truth but it would’ve gotten him and Valor away from Titan for a little bit while he figured out how to tell him

#like I will admit swift wasn’t thinking straight #I’m still mad about it because I love Loyal more than anything and I want Loyal content BUT loyal made bad decisions too #honestly shouldn’t have gotten with your best friends wife even if you thought he was dead #bravelands

[wri0thesley]

i know we all love toji being nasty, but i'd love to see a (slightly) sweeter side of him and the reader as mamaguro, if possible?? maybe featuring the reader in his lap, the first time toji's ever really wanted to really do right by his partner... the ability of a man like him to have a softer side has plagued me ever since akutami said he mellowed out with his wife 😭

saying the important things - toji x fem!reader (2.1k)

toji’s not the kind of man who wears his heart on his sleeve. but he’ll try, for you. 

warnings: none! reader is mamaguro and uses fem pronouns, pregnancy is briefly talked about. this is just soft honestly

[reblogs/comments appreciated! // my jjk masterlist]

Megumi is sleeping.

He lays in his crib, his chubby cheeks squished against the soft mattress, his hair dark and messy. At times like this, you can see so much of Toji in him, and it makes your heart ache. You can’t believe that you helped create something so perfect – from his tiny face, the tilt of his nose, the perfectly formed fingers and toes . . . You find it hard to believe that Megumi could really be yours.

“You’re starin’ at the kid again.”

Toji’s voice comes from behind you and startles you – you jump, guiltily turning to see your husband. His voice is dark and rough, but as you see him you realise that his face is anything but. Oh, sure – he has a scar bisecting the corner of his lip, muscles rippling out of a tight black shirt. But the look on his face is peaceful, and as he meets your eyes it just seems to fade into something even more so.

“You come stare at him,” you say, “you’ll understand why.”

He makes a little huff of amusement – but Toji Fushiguro is under your thumb, so he humours you by moving forward. Big arms wrap around your waist, making you feel safe and held in his embrace. His chin rests on your shoulder, sharp green eyes on the messy-haired bundle of wonder sleeping in the crib that you’d watched Toji build with a screwdriver clenched between his teeth.

(“How hard can it be?” He’d asked you. “S’flat pack, right? Guys who aren’t half as smart as me do it--”. In the end, it had taken six and a half hours and Toji had had to physically pick you up and sit you down on a chair because you couldn’t stop bending down to help. He’d placed his hands on his hips and pointed an accusing finger at you. “You’re gonna get yourself stressed, sweetheart, and it isn’t gonna do any good for the kid.” You hadn’t expected Toji Fushiguro to be the over-protective kind . . . but you’d be lying if you said that his pout and furrowed eyebrows weren’t adorable).

Megumi’s eyes had turned the same shade of green as Toji’s around the five month mark, for the record.

“We did a good job, huh?” There’s a hint of pride in Toji’s voice that he does his best to dampen down – he’s trying to be cool, even now. Your hands come to rest over his own, where they’re clasped onto your hips.

“I think we did a great job,” you tell him, and snorts out a little laugh against your neck that tickles, making you bend back into sub-consciously. “No, really. I think he’ll fetch a high price on the black market. Look at all of that hair.”

“Takes after me,” Toji tells you. “I think I’d fetch a high price too.”

“You know you’d fetch a high price,” you say, turning around to wrap your arms around his neck. You find yourself on your tip-toes just so you can feel a little closer to equal to him. “You’re a wanted man, Mr Fushiguro--”

“You’re a wanted woman, Mrs Fushiguro,” He says, bending his head – and his lips brush across yours, and you feel your entire body fill with the heady knowledge that he wants you. You know it – he makes it clear in the gentler way he holds you against him, his attempts to do chores around the house, the way his fingers entangle with yours when you’re out doing grocery shopping as a little family. But there’s something that you can’t quite express that feels all the more special about the embrace and the words when you two are on your own.

It hadn’t always been like this.

When you’d first met Toji, he’d been all dark flashing eyes and dangerous smile and tugging hands, a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth as he flirted and charmed his way into your life. His voice had been dark and deep, he’d winked at you and made insinuations and insisted, occasionally, that this wasn’t a relationship so much as a mutually beneficial arrangement--

Until someone else had flirted with you in a club and Toji had grabbed your hand and pulled you into him, arm wrapping around your waist. Perhaps you’d been trying to make him jealous – you’d long ago accepted that your crush on Toji and desire to make him yours officially were going to come to a sticky end, seeing as he seemed to value his freedom so highly – but you hadn’t expected it to work.

He’d murmured into your neck that night that you were his, forever, and he never wanted to see someone else’s hands on you again--

“Does this mean I can call you my boyfriend, finally, then?” You’d asked, a hand cupping his cheek, thumb brushing the scar on his lip. Toji had grinned at you, dark and deep and dangerous but warmer than you’d ever seen it. He’d held you that night like he’d just realised how precious you were.

“Sweetheart,” he’d said to you in response. “Hell. Y’can call me your husband if you want.”

You had laughed and thought he was joking.

“Maybe I’ll try that after a proper proposal,” you’d said, tapping his nose. You’d expected him to grab your hand before you could make contact and pin you underneath him, tell you off for being so cheeky – but instead, the pad of your finger had made contact with it and you swore you’d seen a dark flush dust his high cheekbones.

You’d figured that was the end of it, until two weeks later he’d pulled out an expensive-looking ring whilst the two of you watched a movie.

“Well?” He’d asked you, looking almost uncomfortable – almost afraid that you might say ‘no’. “Whaddya say, angel? Gonna try callin’ me husband now?”

And you had.

He’d confessed everything to you before he’d asked about taking your name. His exact line of work, why he wanted to leave his old surname behind – and though you know you shouldn’t have, you’d simply taken it in stride. If this was what it took to have him, you would accept it; it had been too long, and you loved him too much, to simply walk away. You’d found out you were expecting Megumi six weeks before the small wedding and had told Toji immediately.

He’d seemed scared, but he’d seemed excited to – whirling you around like you weighed nothing before he anxiously put you back down and stepped back.

“That’s fine, right?” He’d asked. “I dunno much about kids. I haven’t hurt ‘em or anything, have I?”

He’d made a real effort around the house whilst you were incapacitated by your pregnancy, too – sometimes too much of one, as he batted away your attempts at cooking or cleaning with an insistent ‘I can do it, sweetheart!”. You’d let him make mistakes – honestly, a couple of disasters notwithstanding he’d made a decent effort.

You’re not afraid to leave Megumi alone with him, though Toji still hasn’t quite mastered the life skill of ‘talking to my baby as if he is my child and not simply a friend who I want to slightly intimidate’.

Sometimes you see Toji sat in an armchair with Megumi in his arms, a tiny hand wrapped around Toji’s massive thumb, and you think you could die from how much you love them both.

“C’mon,” Toji murmurs, breaking the kiss. “He’s fast asleep.”

You let yourself be dragged over to said armchair in the corner of the room, next to the little case of children’s books you and Toji had chosen for him

Megumi likes dogs; he claps his pudgy little hands together whenever one is introduced in the bright colours and flat pages. At nine and a half months, he had furrowed his little face and pronounced; “Gog. Goggy.”. Toji had grabbed the cheap camcorder that he’d been recording as many milestones as possible on and tried to bully Megumi into saying it again, but all of the footage he’d actually gotten was you laughing in the background as Megumi attempted to cross his chubby little arms and look at his father in disapproval. He had not said ‘goggy’ again until you had thoughtlessly picked up a little pair of black and white stuffed dogs whilst in a toy-shop with him to show him. Toji had had to go back to the shop ten minutes before closing to purchase them, and even now Megumi tucks them under his arms when you take him out in his pushchair.

You let yourself, too, be pulled into Toji’s lap as your husband gets comfortable, readjusting your body so he can wrap his arms around you and you can bury your face into his neck.

He smells like cigarettes and your laundry powder, familiar and comforting.

He takes a deep, pleased breath that makes the muscles in his throat ripple – you bring up a hand and trace them, fingertip lodging in the hollow of his throat for a moment before your hand moves down to rest over his clavicle, and then where his heart is beating steadily under his clothes and skin.

“You feelin’ me up, baby?” He asks with a smirk. “Y’can just ask, you know--”

“I’m feeling your heartbeat,” you say to him, listening to his pulse in his neck. “I think it might have stopped. We should look into it.” “Is this because I made that joke about the black market? Babe, you’d never let me fuckin’ sell our kid--” “Don’t swear around Megumi,” you say, automatically, your eyes swivelling to Megumi’s crib without moving your head from its comfortable position. “You’ll give him a dirty mouth.”

“You love my dirty mouth,” Toji purrs, the arm around your waist pulling you in tighter and closer. Heat rushes to your face and you give him a headbutt in the neck that’s half affectionate and half warning.

“Not now,” you say, sighing comfortably. Toji is warm and solid and always there for you. “I’m too comfy.”

“Ah, far be it for me to interrupt your nap-time,” he teases, but he pushes a kiss onto your forehead anyway. “Hell, I could go to sleep here myself. Nobody said havin’ a kid would be this much effort.”

“Everyone said it,” you say, stifling a yawn. “You just didn’t believe them.”

He snorts again.

“Y’got me there,” he says. “Wouldn’t change him for the world, though.”

“You’re just saying that because he takes after you,” you smile against his skin. “If he looked like me and acted like me, if he was sweet and demure--”

This gets another laugh from Toji, who knows exactly just how not sweet and not demure you can be.

“I’d love him even more, probably,” he says. “We’re gonna have some fuckin’ blow-ups in the future, sweetheart. Good job you’ll be around to sort out your men, right?”

The arm not about your waist moves so he can cup your face now, tip your chin up towards him. His eyes are still very sharp, but they’re softened with love as he looks down at you. Toji gives you these moments in the quiet of night – when he’s not formerly-of-the-Zenin-family, when he’s not the ‘Sorcerer Killer’, when he’s not an assassin-for-hire – when he’s just Toji Fushiguro, your husband and father of your child. You treasure every single one of them and hold them close to you like a precious pearl, stringing them onto a necklace of memories you’ll cling to forever.

“I’ll be around forever,” you tell him. “If I die, I’ll come back to haunt you and tell you what a shitty job you’re doing on the PTA.”

He snorts.

“Don’t even joke,” he tells you with a flickering smirk – but that smirk quickly drops away to be replaced with a look of intense solemnity. “You know I love you, don’t you?”

“Are you getting soft on me?” You ask, but the hand tipping your chin up does a little jerk.

“Please,” Toji says, a little softer now. “Let me tell you I love you and mean it.”

Sparks fly all through your stomach, your heart twisting in your ribcage. You rarely see this kind of gravitas on his face – he rarely takes this tone, almost needy as he implores you to listen.

“I love you too,” you breathe. “You know that.”

He pulls you into a kiss that knocks the breath out of you, that makes you feel like you and Toji and Megumi are the only real people on Earth and everyone else is an imitation.

“Yeah,” he says, gruff. “Doesn’t mean I don’t like hearin’ you say it, though.”

#toji x reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fluff #toji fushiguro fluff #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fluff #fem reader #writing #jjk writing #jjk posting #Anonymous

[dadsbongos]

la lune

Movie/Game/Show: Marvel Dynamic: Steve Rogers/Reader (Platonic) Warnings: steve’s endgame ending, daddy issues ig?, i describe you as having a mom :) Summary: He promised to keep the moon for you. He also promised to stay. Word Count: 1.1 K ~~~

Steve enjoyed telling stories of his dearest friends when there were lulls of silence in the house. He liked talking about how Bucky was adjusting in Wakanda or how Sam was rising as a hero or the way Natasha was able to take out five guards before he’d even gotten through the door on a mission. He liked turning to his wife while making dinner and updating her on Wanda and Vision. He liked turning to you and asking if you were sure that you didn’t want to meet the fabled Ant-Man, because he was in town, you know - and he has a daughter, too, you know.

He liked having friends and involving his little family on the circle. He liked that he found a woman willing to let the man out of time be a father. He enjoyed being a step-father just as he always pictured enjoying being a biological father.

And you knew that. You’d been told that. You’d heard it again and again. You knew that Steve loved your mother. You knew that Steve loved you.

So why did he leave you both?

Why would he leave?

For who? Peggy Carter?

A woman he kissed once compared to the woman he’d woken up next to and said he loved for years and yet he chose the former.

You remember asking him that day. After Sam took the shield with shaky hands and Bucky was leading your poor mother away to the side. You remember asking him,

“Did you have another kid?”

It was so selfish. But you needed to know. With a frown on your lips and waterline beginning to moisten. You asked again,

“Did you and that jackass from the 40s have a fucking kid?”

He shook his head, patting the spot on the log beside him, an offer that you deny. Steve looked to his loafers before simply shaking his head again.

You jammed your hands in your pockets and kicked at some dirt.

“My mom trusted you. You made us think you were staying with us. That we were your family but you- you…”

There’s the sound of a clang and you look over, Sam had plopped a wooden cutting board onto the counter before moving to the sink to wash vegetables while you simmer broth. Over summers, your mother’s taken to letting you stay and work with the Wilsons (and by proxy, now Bucky as well). You can see Sam take glances at you out of your peripherals.

“What?”

“You feeling okay?” his voice is quiet despite knowing that Sarah, Bucky, and the boys are all out back, “You’ve seemed out of it for awhile.”

You nod, “‘m fine.”

Sam sighs, “You know I don’t buy that. And if I did, I’d be returning it.”

You chuckle before shaking your head and pursing your lips, “Just fuckin’... sucks. I hate him.”

He doesn’t bother telling you that you don’t. He doesn’t bother trying to get you to push those feelings down and smile for the sake of him, or Bucky, or your mother. He nods to your words and goes on to agree.

“I can’t imagine what you and your mom are going through. I can’t relate but I want you to know I’m here,” Sam dries the carrots as he speaks, “That’s why I like having you here. If you feel like you can’t talk to your mom, I’m always listening.”

“Thanks, Sam,” it’s dry and less than he deserves but it’s the most that your voice, thickened with emotion, can offer.

There’s silence like molasses as Sam moves on to washing potatoes and celery. You continue watching the broth. Stirring when the stillness grows uncomfortable.

“Steve once told me that any story someone tells you in the kitchen is a good one. Said he heard that from you.”

“I did tell him that,” Sam murmurs, “Why bring it up?” it’s gentle questioning but you can tell he wants the bottom line, “Got a story?”

“I’ve just… I don’t know - been thinking a lot.”

“About what?”

You tilt your head to the side slightly, “I had a favorite book when I was little. Called Papa Please Get the Moon For Me by Eric Carle - it was just sorta about this guy who steals the moon because his kid asks him to. It was like my favorite book, even though I didn’t really have a dad to even relate it to…” you stir the contents of the pot as Sam chops carrots, “One day the dog had gotten ahold of it and tore it to shit. I cried, honestly. I could’ve gotten a new one but… I didn’t,” you purse your lips, “My birthday came around and when all the distant family left and Mom was cleaning up, he gave me a present- “

“New copy of your book?”

“Nah,” you shake your head and a smile almost reaches your lips before being smothered down by the knowledge of how he’d left, “it was uh, a model of the moon. He helped me hang it up.”

Sam pauses his cutting to turn and look at you, brows drawn tight in worry.

“He got me the moon,” you bite your lip, staring down into the dark brown broth, “Best he could anyway… but he- he got me the moon…”

“I’m so sorry,” Sam refrains from reaching out, he doesn’t want to scare you out of sharing, “You didn’t deserve that. He shouldn’t have left.”

“I think the worst thing is that I don’t know if I can take it down,” your lip wobbles as the sorrow tucked inside your heart begins beating at you, “I miss him. A lot.”

You turn and Sam carefully takes you into a hug, whispering as he holds you, “It’s okay to miss him. It’s okay.”

You can feel your grip tighten on Sam’s shirt as a sob cracks a final wreck on your throat. Burrowing your face into the man’s shirt, you shake your head and cry, “He was supposed to take care of us, Sam. I thought he loved us… I really thought we would be okay…”

There’s one question that’s lined underneath your broken sobs.

Why?

Why would he leave like that? For a woman he hadn’t seen in years. For a family with no child like you - no child at all. For Peggy Carter and Peggy Carter alone.

It was so, so selfish. Truly. But you wanted the moon and when your father gave it to you, you assumed it was for good.

Then, he took it back. Ripped it out of your sky and threw it to the endless abyss of the inked blotches of nighttime. Your father took the moon for Peggy Carter.

He took the moon for Peggy Carter.

#steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers x daughter reader #dad steve rogers

[imagineyourworld-old]

Cuddles

Rex x Fem!Jedi!Reader

Summary: You are extremely affectionate with everyone but Rex and even though the Captain knows why it bothers him, he refuses to acknowledge his feelings 

Warnings: Mentions of injuries, mentions of sex

-------

It wasn’t unusual for the Jedi to send additional healers on dangerous or very long missions. Nor was it unusual for said healers to be Jedi, not only could their force sensitivity help them locate, and to a certain degree heal, even the toughest injuries, they could also help out in battle when needed. And so no one was surprised when you were send along with the 501st on a mission to the outer rim. 

-------

“Have you seen General Skywalker? I have a few questions regarding his plans for tomorrow”, Rex asked Ahsoka. 

The Padawan looked up from her datapad to point down the corridor. 

“I think he wanted a quiet place to work.” 

The way Ahsoka said the word made Rex second guess whether the General was actually working or talking to his not-so-secret wife. And even though he didn’t want to interrupt him, he knew how important time with loved ones was the night before a big battle, he really needed his questions answered. 

“Thanks.” 

Ahsoka smiled at him before turning back to her datapad. 

-------

Rex opened and closed a few doors in vain. 

Finally he opened the last door of the long corridor and found the General sitting on a blanket he had laid on the floor. But he was not alone. 

Rex was surprised that Anakin actually seemed to be working, he had a datapad in his hand and another laying next to him, but that wasn’t what caught the Captain's attention. 

You were with the General. Your head was in Anakin’s lap and one of his hands was stroking your hair, which had gotten loose from your bun and was now covering part of your face. Your closed eyes and deep breaths told Rex that you were fast asleep. But instead of thinking how relaxed you looked when sleeping, when for once you didn’t have the weight of protecting the galaxy on your shoulders, he felt as if someone had just shot him right in the chest. 

“Rex, is something the matter?” 

The Captain tore his eyes away from you to look at Anakin. He tried his best to be professional, not to let a blush rise to his cheeks or his feelings show. 

“I have a few questions about tomorrow.” 

Anakin nodded. Although both men spoke in quiet voices and the General moved only slightly you began to stir and opened your eyes a moment later. 

Being a trained Jedi it took you less than a second to remember where you were and who you were with. Slowly you sat up and looked from Rex to Anakin and back again. 

“Hello, Captain”, you said with a soft smile. 

And no matter how hard he tried, heat now crept up to his cheeks. 

“I am sorry for waking you.” 

You shook your head, still smiling. 

“Nonsense, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep anyway.” 

You looked at Anakin again, who had been watching your interaction with great interest. 

“I’ll leave you two alone and get back to work then.” 

The Jedi nodded, a smile now gracing his lips as well. 

Never in his life had Rex felt as out of place as he did in that very moment. This was a private interaction and he had no business witnessing the smiles the two of you gave each other, nor the loving expression in your eyes. But he couldn’t tear his eyes away, not even when you pressed a gentle kiss to Anakin’s cheek before grabbing the second datapad from the floor. 

Rex stepped out of the door to let you pass, careful to put a bit of space between your bodies. But even the few feet between you didn’t stop him from smelling your sweet perfume. Where Jedi could get perfume in the middle of a war was beyond him, but he had come to love every whiff of the scent he got. Though now, more than ever, he knew he shouldn’t. He knew you weren’t his and would never be. 

“I’ll see you around, Rex”, you said. And for a moment, just for a short moment, Rex thought you might reach out to him. He braced himself for the touch, but it never came. Instead you smiled before closing the door behind you. 

Usually he tried his best to be respectful to General Skywalker and any other Jedi, but he couldn’t help himself. 

“Does she know about Senator Amidala?” 

Anakin got up from his spot on the floor and looked at Rex with raised eyebrows. 

“I’m not sure what you’re referring to.” 

Try as he might, Rex couldn’t keep the anger out of his tone. 

“Does (Y/N) - I mean General (Y/L/N), of course - does she know you are married to Senator Amidala?” 

Anakin stepped closer to Rex. The Captain couldn’t quite read his expression. 

“(Y/N)”, he said your name in a way that made it very clear he had noticed Rex’s slip earlier. “Does not know about Padmé.” 

“Do you think it’s fair then, to lead her on like this?” 

The Jedi looked at Rex for a moment before answering. 

“I am not leading her on, I wouldn’t do that. (Y/N) is a friend, she knows it as well as I do.” 

Relief flooded over Rex. He had to admit, it wasn’t like General Skywalker to lead someone on, and much less like him to cheat on his wife, but to see the two of you so close made him question everything he though he knew about your relationship. 

“Rex, I hope you know that you can be honest with me about... well, you and (Y/N).” 

The blond took a step back, then another, until his back hit the wall behind him. 

“I don’t know what you’re implying. There is no me and (Y/N) - General (Y/L/N), I mean.” 

Even though Rex tried to sound convincing a smirk played on Anakin’s lips. 

“Of course, Captain. Of course.” 

The next couple of days his conversation with Anakin kept replaying in Rex’s head. It kept him from sleeping, haunted his dreams and even distracted him on the battlefield. So much so that it he let a blaster strike his shoulder and was send to the med bay, where he ran right into you. 

“Captain, I heard what happened”, you greeted him. “Let me have a look at that shoulder and we’ll get it as good as new again.” 

You reached out a hand to his injured shoulder, but without thinking Rex stepped out of the way. 

“I’m fine. There are others who need your help more than I do.” 

You let your hand fall as your eyebrows knitted together in worry. 

“You are my last patient for today, everyone else is already taken care of. Now let me help you, I can see you’re in pain.” 

And no matter how much his head protested, his heart made him nod in agreement. 

He followed you to one of the few beds that were not occupied and sat down as you gathered any supplies you might need. 

“I must admit, it is not like you to get hit”, you said while you opened and closed drawers. 

Rex just shrugged. It wasn’t as if he could tell you that he had been distracted because he was jealous of your relationship with Anakin or, worse, that he suspected the General knew about his feelings for you. 

You finally finished and turned to Rex. 

“You’ll need to take your armor off. And your shirt as well. Even I can’t heal you without actually seeing the wound.” 

Once again Rex found himself trying not to blush. He hurried to do as you told him and just a few seconds later he was shirtless. 

You moved closer, so close, that he could feel your body heat, even through your robes, and smell your perfume, though now there was also a hint of sweat beneath the sweet scent. 

You laid a soft hand on his shoulder, careful not to touch the wound but Rex tensed nonetheless. 

“Does it hurt?”, you asked softly. 

He shook his head. It didn’t hurt, at least not on his shoulder. But he felt as if his heart was being ripped apart by being so close to you, but not close enough, never close enough. 

“It looks worse than it is”, you mumbled more to yourself than Rex. He felt something cold, probably a bit of bacta spray, hitting the wound and a warm, tingly feeling a moment later. Your soft fingers danced over the now closed wound as you applied a bit of salve before placing a plaster on top. 

“That should do the trick.” 

You stepped back and for a moment Rex could have sworn you were looking up and down his unclad upper half, with a look in your eyes that didn’t speak of medical professionalism. But surely he had to be imagining that, you had spend most of the day patching up his brothers, clones that looked just like him, you had no reason to be checking him out. 

“How are you, Rex?” 

For the first time in what felt like an eternity he met your eyes. A look of concern was in them, along with a softness he didn’t even know he needed after the rough day he’d had. 

“I’m fine.” 

With a sigh you sat down next to him just as Rex put his shirt back on. You were careful to keep space between you, but once again Rex could swear he felt heat radiating off of you. 

“We both know you’re lying.” 

That, right there, was one of the things Rex loved most about you. Others pretended to care or said nice words solely to motivate him in his fight for the republic, but you cared. You seemed to love the 501st like family, more than a Jedi was probably supposed to. And not just Ahsoka and Anakin, the clones as well. You never made any of them feel like they were worth less, you made them feel loved and like they belonged. 

“Can you tell because of the force?”, he tried to joke. You, however, remained serious. 

“I can tell because I know you. And I know you’ve not been yourself lately. What’s going on?” 

He looked down at your hand that has found its way to his thigh. The second his eyes landed on it you removed it and even though he knew it wasn’t possible, Rex thought he could see your cheeks darkening a bit. 

“I’ve just been thinking about something General Skywalker recently said. About... me and a girl, a woman. He thinks there’s something going on between us, but that’s rubbish.” 

Your eyes glazed over with something that almost looked like sadness, but it might as well have been confusion or just understanding. No matter what you were feeling, you gave Rex a small smile. 

“Why would you say that?” 

He thought about how he should answer your question honestly without giving away that he was talking about you. 

“She’s not really supposed to be in a relationship, due to her... religion. And besides, she’s way too good for me. She’s kind and funny and caring and the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes upon. And I’m just... well, I mean, why should she choose me even if she could?” 

Rex tried his best to avoid your eyes and instead opted for looking at the floor. He knew that you would figure out who he was talking about the moment he looked at you. 

You didn’t say anything for a while and Rex almost worried he had scared you away. Perhaps you did know he was talking about you, perhaps you were disappointed or mad or even disgusted. 

“Oh Rex”, you finally said. He felt your light touch on the small of his back before your fingers disappeared again, leaving behind a cold that was not there before. 

“Anyone would be lucky to have you, and I do mean anyone. You’re all those things you said she is. You’re one of the kindest men I know, you’re funny in your own way, you care so much about your brother, about Anakin and Ahsoka and about me, I hope.” 

You stopped for a moment. 

“And you’re beautiful as well. Sure, you may look like your brothers, but there is an inner beauty in you as well. You’re one of a kind and anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve you anyway.” 

Rex couldn’t help himself, after your kind words he just had to look at you. Tears were shining in your eyes and a smile was on your lips. 

It took Rex all the courage he had to lay his hand on top of yours, but the way you gripped it tight and stroked it with your thumb made up for the nerves. 

“Thank you, (Y/N). That means a lot to me.” 

The interaction in the med bay stayed with Rex for weeks on end. He though of it when he needed something to distract him from all the horrors he saw on a daily basis or when he needed to escape from his brothers or General Skywalker for a while. But mostly when he needed to remind himself why he was fighting this war, who he was trying to protect. 

“Rex, are you with us?”, General Skywalker asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“Yes, Sir.” 

Rex could hear Fives snickering behind him, but he could easily ignore it. Especially when you were standing just a few meters away in between Anakin and Ahsoka. 

It was late and General Skywalker was just recapping the latest mission to General Kenobi over the holo. And while Rex did listen with one ear, most of his attention of on you. 

Everyone was tired, but you seemed especially so, maybe because using the force to heal the clones, and Anakin as well because he couldn’t go a single battle without an unnecessary injury, took its toll on you. You had one arm around Ahsoka and your head rested on her shoulder as you nodded along with Anakin’s report. It seemed as if you were half asleep in your friend’s embrace, which reminded Rex of the time he had found you sleeping in the General’s lap. Your exhaustion was obvious and all Rex wanted to do that very moment was to wrap you up in a blanket and have you fall asleep in his arms, to make sure no harm could come to you in your most defenseless state. 

“Thank you, Anakin. Now everyone get some sleep, especially you, (Y/N)”, Obi-Wan finally said before ending the holo. 

Anakin repeated the words to the clones and added that they would have a rare day off tomorrow. He then turned towards the other two Jedi and said something to them in a low voice. You just nodded along, though Rex was sure you were too sleepy to really understand what the General was saying. 

“Rex”, Echo said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Are you coming or are you gonna keep staring at General (Y/L/N)?” 

The Captain turned to his brother, making sure no one had overheard what he’d just said. 

“I am not staring. I’m just concerned, she should get some sleep.” 

“And you wanna take her to bed?”, Fives chimed in, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Shut up”, Echo said before Rex could. 

He couldn’t deny Fives’ words, but right now all he wanted was for you to get a good night’s sleep. 

Rex moved his brothers along towards their quarters. But he couldn’t resist to look at you one last time before the door closed behind him. 

You and Ahsoka were now in a full embrace and he saw her gently kissing the top of your head. Once again he felt the pang of jealousy at how close you were to anyone but him, how everyone else constantly seemed to be touching or hugging or kissing you and he was too nervous to make any kind of skin to skin contact last longer than half a second. 

Anakin stayed true to his word, so the next day the 501st found themselves on some small tropical planet with lush forests, golden sand and a clear blue sea. Everyone was in a good mood, swimming in the cool water, laying in the sun or getting caught up in some shenanigans Rex didn’t bother investigating. Almost everyone that was, General Skywalker seemed miserable. He was sitting under a tall tree on the edge of the beach, careful to stay on the grass and not to touch the sand. Rex had heard rumors that Anakin hated sand more than any separatist, but part of him though that he was just sad there wasn’t enough time off to visit his wife. 

“C’mon, Skyguy, you’re missing out on all the fun”, Ahsoka shouted at her master from the edge of the water. A smile made its way to Rex’s lips at how hard she was trying to get everyone to enjoy the day. The smile only grew when his eyes landed on you. You were right next to the Padawan in as little clothing as Rex had ever seen you in. Compared to what many other women wore to the beach it was still incredibly modest, though he supposed Jedi didn’t really own bikinis. Instead you wore a pair of shorts that cut up in the middle of your thigh and a top that showed just a little bit of your stomach and more of your cleavage than he had ever seen. Rex tried his hardest not to stare, he really did, but his eyes were just drawn to your figure. 

“I don’t think there’s anything in the Jedi code that forbids sex, just relationships”, Fives said. 

Rex hadn’t even noticed his brother sitting down next to him. But he did make an active choice not to reply. 

“I think she’d say yes if you asked. Of course you’d have to get over your nerves first”, Fives continued. 

This time Rex was about to answer when the sound of your laughter interrupted him. You were surrounded by four of his brothers, all of them stripped down to the trousers of their blacks, who were splashing you with water and tickling you. Another couple troopers were chasing after Ahsoka, probably trying to give her the same treatment, but Rex only had eyes for you. 

He knew both Anakin and Ahsoka saw you as a friend, nothing more than a close friend, but he hated that he couldn’t say the same for his brothers. Of course he knew they weren’t trying to anger him, most of them had hopefully not even noticed his attachment to you, but he couldn’t help jealousy rising up in him. 

He finally turned back to Fives. 

“Did you give them the same speech?” 

By now you were no longer playfighting with the clones, instead you had your arms around two of them and watched the others chasing Ahsoka. 

“It’s not my fault you get jealous so easily. All I’m saying is that you should talk to her. The worst that could happen is that things stay the same, but maybe if you got laid you’d loosen up every once in a while. And I’m sure she’d be great. Don’t they say the once who seem innocent are the best in bed?”

Sometimes Rex didn’t need words, sometimes a single glare could make even Fives shut his mouth. 

For the rest of the day Rex tried to keep his distance from you. With the sun shining in your eyes, a relaxed smile on your lips and more skin than usually showing he didn’t trust himself not to say something he might regret. 

It wasn’t until the evening that he saw you again. 

Rex walked into the sleeping quarters he shared with his brother, he wanted to get a fresh set of blacks to change into after his shower, but once again he opened a door only to find you curled up next to someone. This time it was Echo and Fives. Each of you was holding a datapad, you and Echo seemed to be reading while Fives was apparently watching some holovideo. You sat in between Echo’s legs, leaning against him with your back pressed to his chest and Fives head was laying in your lap. 

After staring at you for a moment Rex decided to make his presence known. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting”, he said and could have slapped himself a moment later. Of all the things he could have said, that’s what he had to settle on. 

All of you looked up from your respective holopads and Fives even sat up from his place on your lap. 

“Rex, I mean Captain, I mean Captain Rex”, you stuttered and this time not even Rex could deny that you were blushing. “You’re not interrupting, at all. In fact, you can join us if you’d like.” 

If it weren’t for his brothers Rex would have agreed. He would have ignored how nervous your mere presence made him and how much he shouldn’t want to be near you, but instead he turned around and walked right of the door. 

It wasn’t until he was halfway across the ship that he realized that he hadn’t even given you an answer. 

Rex hated to admit it, but he missed you terribly. Ever since that day off he barely saw you and when he did you wouldn’t meet his eyes. Even that one time he was send to the med bay you didn’t go near him and Kix took care of his injuries instead. The worst part was that Rex knew it was his fault. No matter how often he told himself that it was for the better, that the two of you would never have worked out, he couldn’t stop the guilt. If he had just acted normal, not so cold, around you you might at least be friends. 

It was especially bad when he walked into the med bay after another battle, expecting to at least see you from a distance. Instead he was met with Kix mumbling under his breath and med droids going about their business. 

Most of the beds were empty but Rex stepped closer to the ones that were occupied to see which of his brothers were injured and how they were feeling. Just as he made his way to the last bed Kix stepped in front of him. 

“Can you take care of her for a moment? General Skywalker is waiting for me to report on the injured and the droids should clean up while I’m gone.” 

Rex tried to sneak a peek over his brothers shoulder. 

“Is Ahsoka injured? What happened?” 

Kix’s face softened as he put a gentle hand on Rex’s shoulder. 

“It’s (Y/N)”, he told him.

Within a second Rex was at your bed. You were paler than he’d like, eyes closed in a fitful sleep, hair a mess on the pillow. 

“What happened?” 

Rex hated how broken his voice sounded, but he hated it even more that he hadn’t even known you were injured, let alone unconscious. How could he not have known? Had he been so focused on keeping his distance or was it because you were avoiding him? 

“The General put her in battle last minute, to watch our backs. But no one was watching her’s, she got shot right in the stomach and barely pulled through.” 

For a short moment Rex allowed himself to touch your shoulder. You were colder than usual, colder than you were supposed to be. 

“I’ll be back soon, all you need to do is stay close in case she wakes up. I simply don’t want her to wake up alone.” 

When Kix kissed your forehead none of Rex’s usual jealousy appeared. Maybe it was because Kix, who you spend most of your days with, was like a brother to you, or maybe he finally learned that he had no reason to be jealous. 

For a while Rex just stood there and watched you. From time to time his gaze wandered over to the monitor next to your bed that was recording your heartbeat and blood pressure and other medical necessities. 

The next time he turned his eyes back to you your own were slowly opening. 

“What happened? Where am - Rex? Rex, what are you doing here?” 

He didn’t know whether it was the sound of your voice, which told him you were alright more than any machine counting your heartbeat ever could, or the way you said his name, but tears appeared in the corners of his eyes. 

“You’re okay. Oh stars, you’re okay.” 

He leaned down to brush a strand of hair out of your face. You smiled at him, slowly the colour was returning to your cheeks and a moment later you used the little controller to sit up in your bed.   

“I’m more than okay.” 

And just like that Rex’s heart stopped for a beat. 

“(Y/N), I owe you an apology. I know I’ve been distant and I just want you to know that it’s not your fault. It’s me, I just -” 

“I know”, you interrupted him, the smile on your lips turning a bit sadder. “You feel forced by me and you’re right, I should try to keep my distance and that’s what I’ve been trying to do but -” 

You stopped and looked around the room. 

“Is everyone else asleep?” 

Rex was confused, but he nodded. The injured clones had been put to sleep to really recover from their injuries. 

“I’ve been trying to keep my distance, but it breaks me. I like cuddling with Anakin, I like when Ahsoka kisses my forehead, I like being hugged by your brothers, but a little brush of your fingers sets off fireworks in me. And I know you don’t like being touched, but touch is my love language. I want the people I love close to me, I want to be touching and hugging and kissing them.” 

By now there was not only colour in your cheeks, you were blushing furiously. You lifted a hand to run it through your hair and tried to watch Rex only out of the corner of your eye. 

“You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted you to know.” 

But you had interpreted Rex’s silence wrong, he wasn’t offended, he was stunned. 

“You - You love me?” 

He didn’t think it was possible, but you blushed even deeper. 

“You really don’t have to say anything, we can still be friends. The last thing I want is to push something on you you don’t want, whether it is a touch or a kiss or even a secret relationship, because I know those can be though. But you deserve to know how I feel about you.” 

Before you could say anything else Rex was leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. At first you were too shocked to respond, but you soon melted into the kiss, into his hand on your cheek and the other on your hip. You moved your arms around his neck to pull him even closer. 

When you finally let go to catch your breath Rex leaned his forehead against yours. 

“I love being touched by you, I love you. But every single touch made me nervous and happy and confused, but every slight brush of fingers was all I thought about for days. And that time in the med bay, when I had injured my shoulder, was like a dream come true.” 

You smiled up at Rex, a smile bigger than any he’d seen on you before. 

“Can you say that again?” 

He mirrored your smile. 

“Which part?” 

You pecked his lips in a loving kiss. 

“You know which part.” 

“I love you.” 

He pressed a soft kiss to your lips. 

“I love you.” 

Another kiss. 

“I love you too.” 

And another kiss. 

“I won”, Ahsoka announced with a smile. 

Both Anakin and Fives shook their heads. 

“No way, he kissed her first!”, the Jedi protested. 

“But she did say I love you first”, Kix chimed in. 

“Technically Rex said the words first”, Echo added, which earned him eye rolls from the others. 

“How about we just make a new bet to see when they tell us they’re together”, Kix suggested. 

“I bet you five credits (Y/N) is gonna tell me within a week”, Anakin said with a knowing smirk. 

Ahsoksa shook her head. “No way, she’s gonna tell me first. Ten credits.” 

Her master smiled. 

“Deal!” 

#captain rex #captain rex imagine #captain rex x you #captain rex x y/n #captain rex x reader #star wars imagine #star wars self insert #star wars the clone wars #clone wars imagine #clone wars

[madamewriterofwrongs]

my sweet darling - how about an armed forces 911 AU? Maybe Eddie meets Navy Seal Buckley overseas? Maybe they meet back stateside at the VA?

You, my darling, always send me such fun and interesting prompts. I promise I didn’t forget. 

Ooh, okay. Let’s see...

Prompt Me with AUs

Delta X-Ray (I am Sinking) 

Read on Ao3

Eddie first sees him as he’s getting off the plane in Washington. He’s going to receive a medal. Apparently his work in Bagram made him a hero and not a broken, shell of a man. Who knew. And really, it’s just a glance because he has other things to worry about besides a Navy man getting dressed down by his captain. He doesn’t need to hear what’s being said to know that’s exactly what’s happening. He’s seen that look too many times, felt the hot breath of his superior as they spat harsh words meant to ‘toughen him up’.

As he passes the sailor, he hears something to the effect of “if it happens again, you will be dismissed.” And Eddie wonders how many times this particular man has received this exact lecture. It doesn’t really matter, anyways. He just wants to get his medal, shake a few hands of politicians who think they had anything to do with his ‘accomplishment’ and go home to his wife and child – ex-wife, he reminds himself. Shannon had the papers shipped to Afghanistan. Couldn’t get away fast enough, his mind bitterly supplied. All he would have at the end of the day was his son, and a medal to replace the wedding band he’d worn since he was 19.

Before he knows it, he’s standing on a small stage, a million lights flashing in his eyes as cameras and stage lights practically blind him. His shoulder aches – out of the sling for the afternoon so he can at least look more put together than he feels – and he’s dizzy from the attention. That’s his excuse for why he doesn’t recognize the man standing beside him.

“Seaman Petty Officer First Class Evan Buckley.” A blond man steps forward and Eddie catches himself staring at the dress whites and stone expression for longer than is strictly necessary. He seems a far cry from the officer being scolded less than an hour ago, but it is definitely him. And he was standing on stage beside Eddie, about to receive a medal of his own.

“For distinguishing oneself by heroism not involving actual conflict with an enemy of the United States, Petty Officer Buckley is awarded the Navy and Marine Corps Medal.”

As he watches the stripes being pined on the officer’s lapel, he lets himself wonder what crime the man could have committed to be dressed down and rewarded in the same afternoon.

He’s so curious, in fact, that he nearly misses his own name amongst the titles thrown around.

“Staff Sergeant Edmundo Diaz.” He steps forward, holding his breath until the entire ordeal is finally finished. “For gallantry in action against an enemy of the United States, Staff Sergeant Diaz is awarded the Silver Star.” The medal is heavier than he anticipated, but he supposes that makes sense. It is quite a burden he’ll be carrying around, and now he has a gold star to go with it – he wants to chuckle at the irony of his ‘Silver Star’ actually presenting as a golden one.

It seems everything about his life is a life.

There were a lot of reasons Eddie hated attending events like this: The politics, the bravado, the crowds of people ‘thanking him for his service’. Mostly, though: he never knows anyone. Sure, he can charm a senator or two for a few minutes, swap stories with other officers from other divisions about where they were and what they saw. But those are fleeting relationships, meant to get him through the day. He’ll go back to his hotel room at the end of the night with no more friends than when he’d stepped off the plane in this awful, awful town. Eddie is tired of ‘schmoozing’. With any luck, today will be the last time he has to tell the governor’s wife how lovely she looks in her dress.

That’s when he spots the man sitting at the edge of the bar like he’s trying to hide from the world, and he decides to make his way over.

“Do you mind if I join you?” He asks, even as he sits down.

The other man’s eyes light with recognition – and damn, are they as blue as the sea. “Not at all. Diaz, right?”

“Eddie.” He supplies, raising a finger to the bartender to snag his attention. If he is going to make it to the end of the evening, he’s going to need one, good drink. “And you’re Buckley.”

“Actually, it’s Evan but you can call me ‘Buck’.” His amusement must be evident because his new drinking buddy supplies the answer. “There are a surprising amount of ‘Evan’s in the Navy.”

It had never occurred to him to check how many ‘Eddie’s were in his squadron. Maybe he should ask his CO if that’s why he always called him by his full first name.

“Congratulations, by the way.” Buck looks somewhat nervous even as the words leave his mouth. “On your medal. Good job.”

“Oh.” Is all Eddie can bring himself to say as he stares into the bottom of his glass. “Thanks.”

“You don’t look too happy about it.”

He really isn’t doing a good job of hiding his emotions if this relative stranger ca read him so easily. “No, I-” he takes a deep breath to recalibrate his thoughts and paste his best fake smile. “It is a great honour.”

“Bullshit.” Buck laughs in his face but for some reason, Eddie doesn’t bristle nearly as hard as he expected. It almost feels playful. The rest of Buck’s response is cut off by his buzzing phone on the counter. The man quickly grabs it long enough to check his notifications, returning it to its place at the bar with a disappointed look.

“Are we keeping you from something?”

“Uh, no.” It’s Buck’s turn to look caught out and in need of recalibration. His expression changes much slower. “I’m just waiting for a call from my sister. I sent her an invitation to this thing but she never responded.”

Eddie has experience with family not coming to big social events like this one. Of course, in his case, he never invited them in the first place.

“Family ain’t easy.” He shrugs as he takes a long sip of whatever burning liquid he’d ordered – it really doesn’t matter so long as he can stay sitting here and not mingling with the crowds of vultures.

“It’s more than that.” Buck looks worried, and the way he bites his lip is… Eddie shouldn’t be focusing on that. “It’s just…” The man shakes his head, dismissing whatever feelings were eating at his gut. “I don’t want to bore you.”

“Please.” Eddie leans into his space with a playful smile. “It can’t be any more boring than this event. Please try to bore me to tears, if you dare.”

When Buck smiles, Eddie’s heart flutters out of his chest and sits beside him as they listen to Buck begin to speak. He tells Eddie about his sister, how she cared for him growing up, how she went away with her asshole of a boyfriend – now her deceased asshole of a husband – leaving him to fend for himself. He talks about travelling the country, trying every odd job he could get his hands on, until a buddy of his suggested he join the Navy. And he loves the work, he really does, but he hasn’t seen his sister in over a year. Their last conversation ended in a fight about some family secret that Buck is reluctant to talk about. Even Eddie can tell that the man just misses his sister. No matter what the argument was about.

Eddie finds himself talking – in less detail – about Shannon and the divorce and his son at home. At Buck’s prompting, he shows off his favourite photos of Christopher (avoiding the one burning a whole in his shirt pocket, torn and bloody, which never leaves him). The man’s face positively lights up when he sees the kid, offering an appropriate amount of sympathy for his divorce without pushing him for more emotions.

It’s easy talking to Buck, he realizes after a few hours. Because suddenly, the venue rental is nearly up and he’s still sitting at the corner of the bar, talking to Buck. Sure, a few people have passed by and shaken their hands, thanking them for their service – Eddie cringes every time and Buck has to hide his laughter once he realizes – but for the most part, it’s just the two of them, sitting and talking.

“The flag signalling we use now was established in 1855.” Buck explains as he leans further into Eddie’s space. “And while Robert Morse invented Morse Code in the 1830s, the International Morse Code that we use didn’t come out until the 1850s.”

“How do you know all of that?” Eddie was fairly certain he hadn’t had to study the history of communication when he was in training. But he’d also been very focused on his medical textbook.

Buck was incredibly cute when he blushed, Eddie decides – though he opts to keep that opinion to himself for now. “I get bored and I read.” The man shrugs nonchalantly, as though he hasn’t been entertaining Eddie with stories of Naval history and his own dumb-ass mistakes all evening. Honestly, Eddie wants to sit here all night and listen to Buck tell him stories of the world. It seems like he’s lived a lifetime already. And what has Eddie done? Gotten a girl pregnant, joined the army, gotten shot, and now he doesn’t even have a wife to go home to.

“Can I ask you something?” Eddie realizes too late that Buck looks nervous. He thinks he probably wouldn’t have said yes if he’d noticed. “How did you get your medal?”

Now he knows he doesn’t have to answer – and his initial instinct is to close out his tab and see if he can run to El Paso on his still-injured leg. But he also realizes that he hasn’t told anyone since it happened. Not the full story. Even now, he might not have the words. But he tries.

“Our helicopter got shot down while transporting wounded. I could still move so I got everyone out. Or I tried to get them out.” The echo of gunfire is not as distant as the others told him it would be. He can still smell it. “Support finally arrived and they decided to give me a medal for holding down the fort.”

Buck places a gentle hand over his and Eddie gasps, reminded that it has been a very long time since anyone has touched him. God, how he misses it.

“You saved wounded soldiers in the middle of the desert while being fired on. And you think you were just doing your job?”

“I’m an army medic.” He reasons with the bottom of his glass. “It’s my job to save people.”

“Maybe. But I don’t think that’s why you do it.” Without elaborating, Buck smiles at him and Eddie forgets the question.

“What about you?” He asks instead. “What’s yours for?”

Unlike the enthusiastic, bubbly personality he’s been talking to for the last few hours, Buck melts into the face he saw up on that stage. The stoic, professional.

“We were on our way back from an escort mission when we encountered some rough seas. I happened to be on deck with the chief mate when he had a stroke. I tried to tend to him but the storm was getting worse and no one could find the captain, so I just took over navigation. It was rough, I had no idea what I was doing, but we all made it out safely and the chief mate was okay.” As Buck shrugs, memories of an overheard conversation come flooding back to Eddie’s mind.

“Wait, were you on the USS Angelo?”

“Yeah. Why?”

Eddie can’t believe it. He has to laugh. “You were the cadet who sailed out of Hurricane Ida?”

“I am a petty officer first class, I’ll have you know.”

“Buck, you navigated a 2,000 ton ship out of a hurricane and all they gave you was a lousy medal?”

“I should get that printed on a t-shirt, or something.”

“That was incredibly reckless but also incredibly brave. Buck, you’re a hero.”

“I was just doing my job.” The smirk tells Eddie he knows exactly what he’s doing but it still hits him that he’s throwing Eddie’s words back in his face. Cute and cheeky.

He doesn’t know why he asks – well, he does, but it’s incredibly stupid and impulsive, and he definitely can’t blame it on the alcohol but he sure would like to.

“How long are you in town?”

Buck looks pleasantly surprised by his question but answers with regret in his eyes. “I head out with the Fifth Fleet in the morning.”

Wow. “You just got a medal, and you’re headed out to earn another one?”

“Something like that.” Buck laughs and Eddie wishes he was braver than he felt. “But I won’t be gone forever. And I’m really good at telegraphy if you wanted to send anyone a message.”

He’s so grateful that Buck has the good sense to be everything he needs right now. Because asking the next question is easier with someone standing next to him. “I suppose I’ll need a way to get in touch with you, then.”

Buck winks and Eddie has never been gladder that the concept of ‘standing’ was only metaphorical. The man should not be so irresistible after only a few hours, but Eddie can’t help but watch him push off his barstool and walk around the side of the bar.

“Hey, Diaz!” The spell is broken long enough for him to look across the room at where his name is being called. He waves at old friends – well, Senior Airman Han and Space Force First Sergeant Wilson are the closest things he has to old friends but in actuality, he’s not sure he knows their first names. “We’re going to the afterparty, want to join?”

On a normal night, Eddie would decline on the basis that he doesn’t want to go, and would rather lay in bed and watch reruns of ‘Murder She Wrote’. Tonight, Eddie wants to decline on the basis that he doesn’t want to go, and would rather stay up all night talking to someone who makes me feel curious about the future.

“Not tonight.” He shouts back across the room. “I’ll catch you at the next ceremony.”

They wave him off because they know it’s the same excuse he makes every single time but the only thing that matters is getting back to Buck.

“So.” He turns to the bar only to find it empty. The seat beside him is also unoccupied, as is any of the space surrounding him.

Had he dreamed up Buck? Had he been imagining this person who made him feel like divorce wasn’t his last chance at happiness? Was he truly so desperate and lonely?

“Hey.” Eddie looks up with too much hope in his eyes to only come face-to-face with the bartender. “He left this for you.” The man – who is not Buck, no matter how much Eddie hopes to see those eyes again – slides a napkin across the counter and walks away before Eddie can ask anymore questions.

He picks up the napkin and reads the blue ink-stained note written in messy scrawl.

Kilo

--... .---- --... ..... ..... ..... -.... --... ----. .----

The dots and dashes he recognizes as a series of numbers – a phone number, he hopes – but the word above? He tries to recall his academy days.

Kilo. Short for Kilogram. Used in the International Code of Symbols to represent the letter ‘K’. In Maritime Signal Flags, it indicates: I wish to communicate with you.

He’s pretty sure the bartender hates him for how late he stayed and how loudly he laughed at Buck’s note, but he can’t bring himself to care. Instead, he spends his energy memorizing the napkin’s contents long after he’s input the number. It’s more than just a piece of paper: it’s hope.

#military au #911 on fox #911 fox #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie fic #911 fic #first meeting #cj answers things #florenceandthemachine #cj writes things #love flo

[creamupuffuu]

✿YOᑌᖇᗴ KIᗪᔕ ᖴᖇIᗴᑎᗪ ᑕᗩᒪᒪᔕ YOᑌ ᗩ ᗰIᒪᖴ 😕

KᗩᖇᗩᔕᑌᑎO:

(Daichi, Tanaka,)

ᗪᗩIᑕᕼI:

❥It was around 3:25 o'clock—you had just started preparing dinner for your 15 year old son and your FIREFIGHTER husband (cause you sure as hell wasn't cookin' for no cop) when you heard the door open. Placing the roast in the oven you bent down—mits on your pretty hands and ass damn near presented to the world in the pretty sundress you wore.

"Hey Ma!"

"Hi honey!" You called out as you stood up discarding your oven mits onto to counter you turned around tilting your head. "Whose this?"

"This is Takashi, we have a project to work on so I figured it was ok if I brought him over for a bit, is that ok?"

❥ While your conversating with your son you failed to notice the way Takashi's virgin eyes took in your pretty (slim/lean/plump) body—eyes racking over your subtle bust that noticeably sat upright and nice around the ruffles of your dress—the same dress that hugged your curves just right, a nice and frilly apron tied neatly around your waist. "Well it's nice to meat you Takashi" you giggled sticking your hand out for him to shake—blinking the boy rubbed his neck.

"A-Ah, it's nice to meet you too Mrs. Sawamura..." he uttered, seemingly very focused on they way your breast bounced with each shake—(Your son's name) nudged him noticing the way his eyes lingered. "Anyway, we'll be on our way Ma—let go of my mom's hand ya freak" he grimaced causing Takashi to chuckle sheepishly as you waved them both away.

❥ "Dude," (Y/S/N) whispered as they sat in the dining room "What?"

"Don't what "what" me—why the hell were you starin' at my ma like that?" Looking around Takashi made sure you weren't paying attention as you stirred the mashed potatoes. "Dude your mom's a total milf." Your son pulled one of the most disgusted stank faces he could muster as he stared at his friend in utter disgust. "Mf wha...?"

"No dude, I'm serious—like look at her, she has the whole milf persona down pact. She's sweet, kind and has a baggin' bod man."

"You've literally just met her..."

❥ Any other time you were a force to be reckoned with, a hazard to society—this just happened to be one of the days you felt generous enough to grace the house with your charitable contributions. (Y/S/N) recognized the dangerous tint your eyes held when he told you he invited someone without your permission and expected you to be cool with it—what you were merely doing was putting on an act as the "Sweet milfy mother" and it was working out wonderfully.

Too wonderfully

"Naw man, your mom's a milf."

"Dude..."

"Like—she gave me this look dude—you know "that" look" the poor boy, he had no idea what was approaching upon him.

"Bruh..." (Y/S/N) tried again, but to no avail as Takashi continued on.

"No no no, cause get it—if given the chance bruh, I'd fuc—oh my gosh, what happened to the light?" with a choked gasp the boy could only stare in pure shock at the sight of your towering husband—expression stoic, but the way his eyes flared into the child made him piss himself he was so scared. (Imagine a 5'9–hell maybe even taller—beefy man staring you down with the most meanest ass look)

"I'm sorry, You'd what to my wife?"

(Y/S/N) lifted a few papers and patted them against the table to straighten them as he watched his friend get chewed out by his father. "A-Ah...M-Mr. Sawamura, I didn't...that didn't come out right—I meant uh, yeah y-you know...."

"No, I don't know—why don't you explain to me what exactly you'd do to my wife given the chance—cause I'd love to hear it." Daichi hadn't felt so pissed in his life (aside from when he was made a meme on several social media platforms—put thats a different story for a different time) and honestly it was disgusting having some brat in his home—his sanctuary, a place where he comes to feel relaxed and loved to sit here and try to explain to his own son how he'd fuck you if given the chance—where the hell was the damn belt when you needed it?

❥ "Daichi—is that you babe?" You're sweet voice rang from the kitchen as you glossed your cornbread with your honey and butter mixture—turning his attention back on the boy Daichi glowered at him.

"If I ever hear something like that come out of your mouth in my presence I'll make sure you never step foot in this house again."

And with that he smiled, turned and caught you as you leaped into his arms placing a nice kiss on your cheek. "Hey love, dinner smells great." He grinned, guiding you both back into the kitchen, a giggle escaping your pretty lips as you go on to ask about his day.

❥"Yeah, yo ass most definitely ain't invited to the cookout." Your son snorted taking in his friends pissed scared expression.

—————

TᗩᑎᗩKᗩ:

❥It was actually your daughters girl best friend who called you a milf and Tanaka winded up agreeing with her 💀

Here's how it happened, you and Tanaka had planned a trip to a nearby water park since the last few days had been hot as a bitch—so you allowed your daughter to invite her friend and of course she agreed—as long as your daughter and her had been freeness she had never gotten the chance to officially meet you, she'd always been around your husband since your daughter was a daddy's girl.

"Ryū, do you have everything packed?" You asked as you poked your head out from the side door of the house—your lean husband packing what looked like unnecessary junk in the back seat of the car. "Yeah, Yep baby—" he nearly slipped trying to shove four lounge chairs, the picnic basket and several other things in the car. "I've got everything packed—just waitin' on (Daughter name) and Naomi to come."

Nodding you poked your head back into the door to change—a nice bikini and thin shawl to go over it—it's better if I show it to you—

❥ Now before I see any comments sayin' "My stomach said no" "Tits, ass and thighs have left the building" I want y'all to know that Tanaka does everything in his power to make sure you feel happy and loved, it's what made your confidence boost since high school and the self love you had for yourself only skyrocketed the longer you stayed with him and you truly understood the true value of yourself. You felt happy and comfortable in your own skin, that didn't mean you didn't have days where you felt off about being in your body, but those thoughts would simmer down when your adoring husband cane into view.

Stripping from your pajamas and bunny slippers you placed the bikini on and folded the shawl in front of you as you made your way downstairs to sit in the living room.

Ten minutes had passed and (Y/D/N) and Naomi had finally returned—greeting your husband Your daughter asked where you had wandered off to

❥ "Your mother? She's in the living room last I seen her, (Y/N)!! Come on love we're ready!"

"Just a second!" You hollered back slipping on a pair of slides and exiting out of the house—time seem to stand still as not only your husband, but Naomi too drunk in your form—the swimsuit definitely serving you justice. "You all ready?" You asked, "Y-Yeah hon...w'we're ready." Smiling cheekily you grinned.

"Yo, (Y/D/N)"

"What? What's up??"

"Your mom is literally hot as hell."

"..."

"Deadass, she looks like one of those hot ass milfs..." she muttered watching as you lightly scolded Tanaka for putting the sandwich iron into the truck. Turning around you bent over to grab the toaster—tits nearly spilling from your top as you made your way back into the house. "Yeah, a milf."

"You said it." Tanaka whistled placing his folded arm on top of Naomi's head. "M-Mr. T-Tanaka, oh my gosh I am so sorry...I shouldn't have—" Your childish husband barked out a deep laughter at the scared expression on your daughters friends face. "Calm down kiddo, I'm not mad—if anything I'm glad someone recognized it." He uttered whipping his head to stare at his daughter.

"I am not referring to mama as a milf."

❥ Tanaka smacked his lip, a low whistle coming from his mouth as both he and Naomi stared at the way your ass flexed through the thin material of the shawl

Up and down and up and down

And up and down and up and down

❥ "Damn," they muttered in union

"You two are literally disgusting."

—————

Chapter from my Wattpad account :p

Danish_Taco

#daichi sawamura #daichi x reader #daichi scenario #tanaka ryuunosuke #tanaka x reader #hq tanaka #haikuu #haikyuu!!

[babymetaldoll]

Danger days - Chapter two: "I'm the kinda that you wanna"

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler x OC + My Chemical Romance.

Word count: 5.5K

Summary: Joey faces MCR after their awful first meeting. Matthew supports whatever she decides to do with her life. Gerard is still kind of an asshole, and Frank tries his best to be a better person.

Warnings: Cursing.

A/N: WOW!! I can't believe you are actually reading this!! thank you for the love!! I was gonna post this tomorrow, but... here it is.

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | Chapter sixteen | Chapter seventeen | Chapter eighteen | Chapter nineteen | Chapter twenty | Chapter twenty one | Chapter twenty-two | Chapter twenty-three | Chapter twenty-four |

--

::: Los Angeles, October 14th, 2010 :::

Mikey ate his breakfast alone, sitting at the kitchen island. He was thinking about the daily schedule, the band's upcoming tour, and clearly, the severe problems in his marriage, the one subject he kept trying to avoid.

His wife was still asleep, and he didn't want to be around when she woke up. He knew it only meant another fight. Whenever they were in the same room, it always meant an argument, and Mikey was tired of it all.

It was clear they had to get a divorce, but neither of them had brought it up just yet.

He and Alicia had grown apart in the latest months. It was hard with him touring for so long and his wife staying home, persuading her own future in the music industry. And after so much time apart, they were both tired of trying. It just wasn't working anymore.

Frank and Ray were staying at the same hotel. They drove together to the practice studio, doing their best to agree on their ideas about Joey. But they weren't really on the same page at all.

- "Just don't be an ass, ok?"- Ray said when he parked outside the studio, and Frank immediately lit a cigarette.

- "Yeah, whatever,"- Toro got out of the car and closed the door, staring at his friend leaning against the wall to smoke alone- "I'll be right there."

Iero grabbed his phone and read the messages in a vague attempt to think of anything else. But that didn't help at all; Joey parked her car just before him that very second.

- "Shit!"- the two of them said at the same time. Frank put on his dark sunglasses, and Joey grabbed all her things from the passenger seat.

- "I can't catch a break!"- she argued as she opened the door and decided to get over the horribly awkward moment- Hey!- she smiled and waved as Frank nodded- "How are you?"

- "Good, you?"

- "Good..."- and it was still awkward- "So, thank you for inviting me again,"- and Frank nodded again, not saying a word- "I'll... head... inside then."

Joey tried to smile, but it was too uncomfortable to bear. So she ran away.

- "Did you catch the game last night?"- Mikey asked as he sipped his coffee, while Ray grabbed a guitar and started tuning it.

- "No, I played video games until late."

- "What are you playing?"

- "Red dead redemption"

- "Cool, and Christa?"

- "She's back home with her parents,"- Ray kept turning the guitar and never noticed Mikey's sad face- "And Alicia?"

- "She's home. She was sleeping when I left."

- "Is everything ok?"

- "Yeah"- and again, Ray was so concentrated on his guitar, he didn't catch a glimpse of Mikey's sad look.

- "Hello"- Joey walked in, and the two guys smiled- "Am I too early?"

- "No, you are just on time,"- Ray stood up and grabbed a cup of coffee- "I got you this."

- "Oh! thank you!"- Joey was surprised by the gesture- "You shouldn't have."

- "I owed you,"- Toro kind of blushed as Joey held the cup and took a sip.

- "Black, no sugar. How did you know?"

- "I didn't know if you liked cream, and I got a lot of sugar on a side"- Ray quickly answered and showed Joey a bunch of sugar bags on a tray.

- "You nailed it."

- "Hey"- Mikey kinda whispered in a low voice- "I'm sorry, I thought you were getting us coffee and stuff yesterday."

- "Dude, it's ok, don't worry,"- Joey smiled and kept drinking her coffee- "Now I know if I get the job, I can get you black coffee with almond milk to brighten your day"- and he chuckled.

- "And thank you for coming over again."

- "My pleasure,"- Joey answered and stayed quiet looking at the two guys- "So... I saw Frank outside."

- "Yeah, he was smoking, and Gerard should be right here by now,"- Mikey took a look at his wristwatch. It was almost noon, and he knew his brother was going to be late.

Gerard was driving and smoking, trying to devise anything to avoid going to the studio and doing another audition with that woman. He didn't want to. Why? Way really didn't know. It was something inside of him that made him feel like he should stay the fuck away from her 'cos something terrible might happen. And he didn't want to find out what it was.

- "Hey"- Frank waved at Gee when he walked out of his car- "You are late."

- "Yeah, I didn't want to come,"- and Iero chuckled- "What are you doing here?"

- "I didn't want to get in just yet."

- "Is she here already?"

- "Yeah... she got here all happy like fifteen minutes ago."

- "Fine... let's get this over with,"- Gerard walked in and did his best not to look annoyed, which was virtually impossible, 'cos he couldn't stop frowning.

As soon as they walked into the studio, the image was Joey, Ray, and Mikey laughing like they were already best friends. And that got Gerard even more upset, if possible, and because of no reason at all.

- "Hey!"- Mikey stood up and hugged his brother.

- "Hi, nice to see you again,"- Joey reached out for Gerard's hand and smiled to do the same with Frank.

- "Thank you for coming,"- he whispered and cleared his throat. The drummer looked around at the band and started the speech she had prepared in her mind the whole morning.

- "Guys, I just wanted to clear the air here. If you don't want me to do this and you just called 'cos Tucker asked you to, there's no need to go through all this shit. I can go home, no hard feelings or anything"- and the band stayed quiet. Ray looked at Frank and waited for his words.

- "Joey, we just... why did you call Tucker? that was so rude!"

- "First of all, I didn't call him, he called and annoyed me for ten minutes before I told him what happened. And second, you were rude, you barely looked at me, you didn't even pay attention to what I did, and you clearly made up an interview to ask me to leave."

Joey directed those words looking right into Gerard's eyes and just spit the words, knowing that wasn't really gonna help her get the job.

- "Tucker didn't really lie, guys,"- Mikey said and tried to ease the mood- "You were rude at her, and I'm sorry to tell you, she's the best we've had so far."

- "Do you honestly think we can work together after what happened with Tucker?"- Gerard asked her, and she shrugged.

- "If you deal with the fact you were rude to me, then yeah, I've got no problem with it,"- and Frank huffed at that answer.

- "You made us look bad in front of a friend."

- "No, you looked bad in front of me, and when Tucker asked how had it been, were you expecting me to lie and tell him it was awesome? come on!"- Joey frowned, knowing that ship had sailed already- "This shit is high school all over again!"

- "I feel the same!"- Ray said and stood up- "Ok, let's get this straight, you two were assholes! And that's the main problem here! if she did or did not call Tucker to tell him about it, that's not the point!"

- "But dude!"-Frank tied to argue, but Ray stopped him.

- "No! this is our job, and we have to be professional. So now you are gonna be a grown-up, and you are going to apologize for being an asshole with no reason to her, 'cos she just came to apply for a job, ok?"

Ray looked more like a dad than like a band colleague at that point.

- "Sorry, Joey"- Frank whispered and looked down at his shoes. Ray looked at Gerard and raised an eyebrow

- "I'm sorry I was a jerk"- he mumbled

- "And I'm sorry I told Tucker you were assholes. He was really excited about the audition, and he was just trying to help me out. It clearly didn't work out, but he meant good."

Joey tried to be as nice as possible, thinking shit had gotten way too bad to even think about playing with this band.

- "Ok, now I'm gonna go so you can continue your drummer hunt."

- "Wait!"- Mikey held her arm and cut her a smile- "You should jam with us for a while."

- "I don't think that's a good idea. This got too complicated. And whether I'm good or not, I don't want this to be awkward for you. You are looking for someone to work with, it's your band, and you should be comfortable with who you choose."- Joey smiled and grabbed her bag- "I just wanted to thank you for apologizing and for caring about what happened. I'm gonna tell Tucker you are all very nice."- she joked, and the band looked at each other.

- "No, really, stay. We didn't ask you to come because of Tucker. We did it because we really want to give your audition another go,"- Frank's word surprised Joey. She wasn't really able to say a word back; she just nodded and smiled.

- "Great!"- Mikey clapped once and grabbed a bunch of papers from his bag- "I printed you some of the sheets of our songs,"- Joey held them and read them

- "Cool"

- "So... wanna warm-up?"

- "I already played two hours before I left the house."- she whispered, embarrassed of her confession- "Sorry, I just have this weird routine. I work out, eat and play in the early morning, just to get me through the day not killing anyone."

And Mikey chuckled. Frank kinda bit his lips to don't smile. He found it funny.

- "Great, then let's set us up,"- Ray smiled and walked to grab his guitar- "We remembered you were left-handed, so Mikey and I rearranged the drum set for you,"- Gerard raised an eyebrow staring at the scene.

- "Why is Ray so nice with her? Is he crushed on that girl? no way! he is a married man! married guys don't have crushes! it is impossible".

Joey read the music sheets and nodded. She had studied most of the songs, and though she had never been a huge fan of the band, she liked it enough to easily follow the tempo of each tune.

Gerard looked at her playing and hated the fact Mikey was right. She kept following each change they were doing and even threw a few herself that worked perfectly. He hated it 'cos she made it fun, and he wanted to hate her. Very childish of him, but yet, that's how he could describe it.

Frank looked at Mikey and then at Ray as they all played "Thank you for the Venom" and knew in his guts this was it. Musically this is what they needed. And also knew it was a shitty situation 'cos he had already made an enormous fuss and didn't really know how to fix it.

- "Shit!"- Ray said as soon as the song ended.

- "Yeah, that was great."- Gerard said and smiled. He knew he couldn't get away with it. Shit worked. And it worked awesomely- "Can we do "Parade"?"

- "Sure, just let me read it first. That's a long one,"- Joey said and grabbed one of the sheets. Mikey walked to his brother and raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to admit it.

- "I hate you."- Gerard whispered.

- "I know, just say it"

- "No"

- "Say it"- Mikey raised an eyebrow and kinda chuckled.

- "You were right. She's good,"- Gerard whispered, and his brother nodded.

- "God damn, I'm right!"

- "Ok, let's do this before I totally forget it..."- Joey said and smiled- "And who's gonna play the G note?"- the whole band stared at her, and she shrugged- "G note, not G spot, don't get scared"- Gerard chuckled, and he hated himself for it- "Come on pervs, let's do this!"

Somehow, Joey felt a little more in place between the guys, probably 'cos being a drummer, she was pretty used to hang out with men, from her teachers to classmates. She used to have girl bands growing up, but she found it easier working with guys professionally.

- "So, lunch?"- Ray asked and left his guitar aside. They had been jamming for over two hours.

- "Nice, I'm starving,"- Mikey did the same and turned to Joey- "Wanna come?"- she froze and looked at the whole band from behind the drums- "We are gonna go grab something to eat."

- "Yeah, then we can continue the practice,"- Gerard added and walked to the door. Joey kept in silence and looked at Mikey, smiling sweetly.

- "Ok... sure."

- "Great!"- Ray smiled- "Come on, are you a fan of Indian food? There's a fantastic place a few blocks from here!"

Frank sighed and walked outside to light a cigarette. He was sure Ray had a thing for Joey, and that upset him, most of all 'cos, just as Gerard had thought, Ray was a married man, and a happily married man, he shouldn't care about Joey that much. He was way into making her feel good. And that made Frank uncomfortable. And most of all, like a jerk for being mean to her in the first place.

- "Hey"- Joey appeared by his side all of a sudden and scared the shit out of him- "Sorry!"

- "I didn't know you were coming behind me."

- "Everybody had to pee. Apparently, they all have a small bladder,"- Frank grinned, lit a cigarette, and offered Joey one- "Thanks, I quit a few years ago."

- "Really? why?"

- "'Cos I stopped breathing... and found out I was asthmatic, which made total sense when I gave it a thought"- Frank nodded.

- "I shouldn't smoke either. My lungs are shit; I'm a bronchitis magnet."

- "I feel you"- Joey opened her backpack and took out her coconut butter hand cream. Frank looked at her and sort of smiled.

- "Do you want some? it's gonna be good to keep those tattoos from washing away"- Frank left the cigarette on his lips and grabbed the cream.

- "You are not even in the band yet, and you are making me use hand cream."

- "Tell you, what if I get the job I'll make sure I'll keep you moisturize every day,"- the young woman winked at him and saw the rest of the band walking towards them. She didn't notice Frank's face, who had turned purple after those words.

Matthew took a look at his clock as he walked outside the set. Joey should be back home by then, so he dialed her number and waited.

- "Hey, Akumu!"- he heard Joey's cheerful voice at the other side of the line and smiled.

- "Hey, Yami! How was it? Did you get the job? were those guys nice to you? are you ok?"

- "You are not gonna believe this, but we talked about it, and I have the feeling things are pretty much clear between us."

- "That's great, dorky! What are you doing now? are you back home?"

- "No, we came to grab something to eat, and then we'll continue rehearsing."

- "So you are still with the band then?"- Gubler was surprised, but happy things were working.

- "Yeah, and how's the reading going?"

- "Good, we've been at it the whole morning, now I'm about to eat something, and then I'll keep reading my lines."

- "Looking like a maniac pointing a fake gun made with your fingers?"

- "Just like any other day"- Matthew made a pause as he kept walking in circles, thinking about his girlfriend hanging somewhere with that band- "Hey, are those guys being nice to you?"

Joey looked back at the table where the band was eating and nodded, knowing her boyfriend couldn't see her.

- "Surprisingly, yes. They are all being very friendly. They apologize for being assholes yesterday."

- "Wow, really?"

- "Yeah, we had a weird deep talk in the morning. I think shit is cool now."

- "I'm glad, Yami."

- "Yeah, I've got the feeling they might actually give me the job."

- "That would be awesome."

- "I know! Anyway, Akumu, I have to go. I gotta do my best to be nice with these guys."

- "Please, don't be too nice. They don't really deserve it,"- Matthew joked, and Joey chuckled.

- "You are right, but mama needs to work."

- "But daddy can take care of you,"- Joey chuckled, making her best to process that information.

- "I love you so much, Gubler, but I can deal with this on my own."

- "I know you can."

- "Thank you."

- "I just wanna help."

- "Your support and love are all the help I need to make it."

- "So, what are we gonna do?"- Mikey asked his brother, and Gerard cleared his throat, looking at Joey talking on the phone on the other side of the diner.

- "I know you want her to stay, guessing Ray is dying to work with her,"- Gerard raised an eyebrow at his friend, and Frank nodded.

- "Yeah, you are way into that chick."

- "No way! I'm just trying to be nice 'cos you've been jerks."

- "Oh, come on!! you've got jizz all over your underwear!"- Frank's comment made Mikey laugh and almost choke with his lunch.

- "Dude, you went too far!"- Ray argued, disgusted- "And no, I don't have a crush on her, I just feel bad you made her so uncomfortable, and I'm trying to make it up for her."

The band looked at him in silence as Mikey kept coughing.

- "Dude, are you ok?"- Joey asked as she sat back at the table- "Do you want some water?"- and she reached out her glass to him, who took it and drank most of it.

- "Thanks"

- "What happened?"- the young woman asked, and Mikey smiled, breathing a little better.

- "We were talking about jizz"- Gerard covered his face with both hands as he heard his brother talking, and Joey laughed, nodding.

- "I'm so happy I was far away from you,"- Joey said and closed her eyes, pretending to be disgusted- "Anyway, Matthew says hi,"- she smiled at the band and continued eating.

- "Is he on set?"- Frank asked, staring at his food.

- "Table reading, tomorrow they start rehearsal and all those things I don't really remember 'cos I love him, but sometimes I don't follow all the steps into the shooting process."

They all smiled and nodded in silence for a moment. Gerard looked at Frank and lift his brows. Iero sighed and nodded.

- "So... do you wanna play with us for the next couple of months?"- Gerard just put out the question and stared directly into Joey's eyes. She looked at him surprised and didn't know what to say- "We have a very long tour, so we have to compromise to make it work."

- "I thought you hated me."

- "I don't hate you, none of us hates you... we just started with the wrong foot, but I think we can make it work,"- Gerard finished his words, nearly whispering. Joey's heart was racing. She couldn't believe she got the job, this was by far the best job Jo had ever have, and she couldn't wait to tell her parents. They were gonna be so proud.

- "I would love to play with you guys, thank you for the offering,"- Joey answered and grinned- "And again, I'm sorry for Tucker and all that shit."

- "Nah, forget it"- Ray quickly replied- "We know you are right for the band right now."

- "But if you are gonna be with us, we have to talk about the legal agreements"- Mikey said- "I hate that part, but we have to talk with our lawyers, do the paperwork."

- "Sure, not a problem."

- "And we are gonna need a tutorial to learn how to fucking spell your last name,"- Frank added and make everybody laugh. He looked at Joey smiling, and it felt like those few seconds were in slow motion, without any reason. Iero knew he was going to remember that particular moment for the rest of his life. He just didn't know why yet.

- "Yeah, what's the problem with your last name? when I called you yesterday, I had to practice it for a half-hour."

- "And you misspelled every single fucking letter in it, sorry"- she said to Ray and took a sip of her coke before she answered- "It's from Iceland, dad's from there. And my mom is from Colombia, which explains Maria Josefina ... I know, weirdest mix ever."

- "Wow, and what the fuck the last name thing?"- Frank asked and finished his food

- "Well, there your last name is defined by your father's name, so my dad's name is Sveinbjörn Sigmundsson"- the whole band stared at her with a blank look on their faces.

- "Sorry, what?"- Frank asked again

- "Sveinbjörn, it's a very common name."

- "Sure! sure it is!"- Iero laughed, and so did Joey.

- "Anyway, over there, your surname is your father's name and, in my case, the noun daughter, in Iceland, dottir, so my last name is Sveinbjörn, my dad's name, plus dottir, get it? Sveinbjörndottir, 'cos I am Sveinbjörn's daughter"- Gerard nodded and asked

- "And if you were a boy?"

- "I would be Sveinbjörnson... what's your dad's name?"

- "Donald"

- "In Iceland, you would be Gerard Donaldson"

- "Shit! my name would suck in Iceland!"- Frank grabbed his head and scratched it- "I would be Frank Frankson!"- and he burst out laughing

- "Dude! you are so lucky you are from Jersey!"- Ray said and turned to Joey- "So Maria Josefina is your mom's heritage and Sveinbjörndottir your father's."

- "Exactly, and that's why Joey is the best way to avoid people getting mistaken with my name."

- "Seems legit"- Gerard said and looked at everybody smiling. He turned to Joey and tried to study her face for a moment. Sure, her skin was paperwhite, and her eyes were slightly green, but she didn't look like the classic island chick you might imagine. Maybe there was too much Colombia on her.

- "What is it?"- she asked him when she found him staring at him.

- "Nothing"- he blushed and finished his coke- "I was just... trying to find any Icelandic feature on you"- she frowned immediately and didn't answer a word, obviously upset- "Sorry..."

Gerard drove back with Mikey. He wanted to avoid Ray being too nice at Joey, 'cos it still bothered him. And Mikey needed to talk about anything random with his brother to keep his mind busy.

- "Hey, maybe we should do something tonight"- Mikey asked his older brother.

- "Like what?"

- "I don't know... wanna go out? Maybe see some bands? Peter told me there are a few cool shows around this week."

- "Yeah, sure, let me ask Lynz if she wants to join us? what about Alicia?"- Mikey looked over the window and cleared his throat.

- "No, she told me she was meeting some friends tonight."

- "Everything ok?"

- "Yeah, it's all ok"- Mikey wasn't even making an effort to sound ok, but Gerard didn't notice- "So, thanks for what you did."

- "What did I do?"

- "You took an executive decision for the band"

- "I hope Frank doesn't kill me"

- "He won't"

- "And I stand by the fact Ray has a crush on her"

- "I don't think so"- Mikey's phone hummed, and he lazily read the text, "I'll stay with my parents tonight." Just what he needed, a confirmation of his lie. His wife was going to be nowhere to be seen that evening.

- "Hey, Lynz asked me to get something for dinner. Wanna grab something with us, and then we can go out?"

- "Sure."

Frank wouldn't stop talking. At some point during lunch, he just stopped trying to hate Joey. He ended up making joke after joke from the minute they got into the rented car until they reached the studio. He was so nice even Ray got worried. But then he thought Frank was probably overcompensating that girl for being such an ass before.

- "Ok so, Tucker ran naked from the studio, got into the car, and drove to get a burger wearing nothing but a cap?"- Joey nearly peed laughing at Frank's story.

- "Yeah!"- he reassured, laughing too- "And the studio was in this basement, and the family of our friend lived upstairs and completely saw him running around mooning everyone"- the drummer couldn't stop laughing, picturing her friend running naked all over.

- "Shitface never told me that story!!"

- "Oh, it's a good one!!!"- Frank chuckled and turned to look at Joey in the backseat- "So why were you touring with him?"

- "'Cos I had an awesome band, and we opened for Thursday for a few dates. I was still in college back then, and Tucker was like my older brother. He taught me a lot and saved me when I was drunk a couple of times, primarily for getting into fights."

Frank smiled and kept looking at Joey for a few seconds, and she cut him a big grin.

- "How come you don't have a band right now?"- Ray asked her and forced Frank to turn around and look at the road.

- "How says I don't?"

- "Do you?"- Joey laughed for a second.

- "No. My last band broke a few months ago, and I've been working on a few projects, but I haven't found people cool enough to share it with,"- Ray and Frank nodded in silence as they parked outside the studio.

- "Ok, kids. Back to work"- Ray said and opened the door. Joey did the same and smiled at Frank when he let her pass before him. She was sure he was extra nice to make up for being such an asshole with her before. And Frank was sure he had to stop being so nice at her 'cos he felt he was about to overstep the line, but he couldn't stop. It was like he stopped hating her to fully endorse a friendship with the girl one minute to the other

- "Get your fucking shit together, Frank."

Around five-thirty, Joey got into her car and sighed. She was exhausted and yet so fucking excited she felt she could run back to her place yelling. She had to wait until she was somewhere safe though, the band could walk out of the studio any minute, and it would be too embarrassing. Embarrassed herself in front of the band's first day working with them was something she wanted to avoid. It was too soon to show her real colors. No need to let them know she was a dork just yet. They had a whole tour to find out.

As she drove back home, she thought of everything that had happened that year. It surely didn't have a great start. Moving to Los Angeles to try to give it a go in music had been hard, really hard. If it hadn't been for her parent's support, she wouldn't have survived. But then she met Matthew, and it felt he could make everything better like magic. On top of that, she now had a real job playing with a huge band. That was a huge reason to celebrate.

- "So, what do you guys think?"- Gerard looked at the band and raised both eyebrows- "Is this shit gonna work?"

- "I don't see why not"- Mikey simply answered and grabbed his phone. Zero news from his wife. Not surprised either- Rehearsal was pretty well

- "No, I mean touring with a girl."

- "Oh, knock it, I thought we had passed that stupid problem,"- the youngest Way looked at brother pretty pissed- "Just grow up!"

- "Aren't you a little too sensitive?"- Gerard frowned and sat back on the couch.

- "No, I'm just tired. I don't wanna hear any more shit about how weird it will be touring with a girl or if Ray has a crush on her."

- "He totally does"- Frank quickly said, chuckling, though he felt slightly out of place saying that considering now he was extra nice with her too, and he didn't have a crush on her.

- "Very mature,"- Ray didn't pay attention to those words and looked at the band- "What we should be doing is preparing the setlist for the tour."

- "Is Brian coming tomorrow?"- Iero asked, walking around looking kind of bored.

- "Yeah, he said so, at ten, I think, to see the venues, schedules, crew. The usual,"- Ray answered and kept typing on his computer- "So, setlist?"- Frank's phone rang, and he walked away immediately.

- "Does anyone remember the name of the movie we watched the other day at my house?"- Gerard asked, looking at the ceiling.

- "The setlist"- Ray repeated.

- "No, it was the Hayao Miyazaki about the little girl."

- "Spirited away"- Ray quickly answered- "Now please! the setlist"

- "Do you think she was tripping?"- Ray looked at Gerard, annoyed, and closed the laptop- "What?"

- "I'm trying to work here, and you are not even listening!"

- "No one is. Why are you blaming me?"

- "Because you are not helping!!"

- "Wanna do the setlist, let's do the fucking setlist"- Gerard grabbed a notebook and a pen and started writing down the name of the songs- "There! A fucking setlist!"

- "What the fuck is your problem?"

- "I have no problem!!"- Gerard kind of shouted.

- "Can you guys please stop yelling?"- Frank asked, annoyed as he turned around, covering the cellphone and giving his bandmate a severe look.

- "Sorry"- Gerard whispered and look down at the sheet of paper.

- "What is going on there?"- Jamia asked her husband.

- "Shit has been kind of tense these last couple of days."

- "Why? preparing the tour?"

- "Yeah"

- "Did you guys find a new drummer?"- Frank sighed and walked outside to smoke a cigarette.

- "Yeah, we signed one today"

- "Great! What's his name?"

- "Joey, with an unpronounceable last name,"- Iero closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he added- "And it's her name... we booked a girl for the tour"- Jamia stayed quiet, processing the information- "She is friends with Tucker, he recommended her, and she is the best drummer we had."

- "Is she nice?"

- "Yeah, and her boyfriend is very nice too,"- Frank knew he had to add the boyfriend factor into the conversation quickly- "She is dating the nerd guy from Criminal Minds."

- "Really? he is hot"

- "I guess... anyway, we've been dealing with the drummer issue most of today, so shit is kind of sensitive."

- "Why? Someone didn't want to work with her?"

- "Well... I didn't"- Frank murmured

- "Why not?"

- "'Cos... I don't know. We've never included a girl in this band."

- "Maybe it's an excellent chance to do something different."

- "Wait, you are not upset we are touring with a girl?"- Frank frowned, not getting his wife's attitude.

- "Why should I?"

- "I don't know? 'cos bitches be crazy?"

- "Franklin Anthony Iero! you take that back!"

- Why are you middle naming me for?"

- "That was sexist!"

- "Sorry, I just thought you were going to be against this whole idea"

- "I think it's cool"

- "Really?"- Frank was in shock- "You are not going to freak out?"

- "No, I'm not going to freak out."

- "Thank you"

- "Besides, she has a really hot boyfriend. Do you think she can introduce him?"

- "Jamia Iero!!"

- "What? It's not like I'm gonna cheat on you. I just wanna stare at him... I bet he is tall"

- "Ok... that's weird for someone who has been a little too sensitive over fans lately,"- Frank joked, but that might have been just a huge mistake.

- "What are you saying? That I'm a psycho about girls around you?"

- "No, no, no honey, it was just a joke"

- "An awful joke"

- "I'm sorry"- Frank took a long drag of his cigarette and sighed- "How are the babies?"

- "Sleeping... I was gonna eat dinner and go to bed too 'cos I'm too fucking tired."

- "You should. Is your mom staying at home with you tonight?"

- "No, Evan is here today. He did some grocery shopping and cooked dinner"

- "He is awesome"

- "Yeah, he is on diaper duty until one, so I better get some rest"

- "Go, honey, talk to you tomorrow, ok?"

- "What are you gonna do tonight?"

- "Drive back to the hotel and play videogames with Ray"

- "Exciting"- Frank chuckled at his wife's words and stubbed out his cigarette.

- "Love you, honey"

- "Love you too"

Jamia was full of it. She hated the idea of Frank touring with a girl, but she knew making a tantrum was worse. They had had too many arguments about female fans already. The last thing she needed was to start a new one. But how was she going to deal with this new drummer? She seemed to be a major threat.

Joey walked into her apartment and jumped around in hyperventilation. She had tried her best to control her emotions all the way back home, but after she closed the door behind her back, there was no way she could stop her excitement.

- "I can't fucking believe this!!"- she yelled and jumped around the place until she finally laid on her bed and hugged a pillow. For the first time in a long time, she didn't feel like a loser. And for the first time ever, she could call her dad and make him proud, giving him the news of her new job.

Taglist: @all-tings-diego

#my chemical romance #mcr #matthew gray gubler #criminal minds #mikey way #ray toro #frank iero #fanfiction #babymetaldoll writes

[vanserraseris]

END OF PART X - Eris is super ooc in this part, idk what happened. Just a warning that there are mentions of abuse. Thanks for reading!

honestly idt hes that ooc! you’re j really good at writing him :)

Prince of Ashes. Part X.

masterlist.

“I don’t like it when you look at me like that.” 

Micah’s frown deepened, “Like what?” 

“Like you pity me,” Eris snapped. 

He was sitting on the edge of his bed, the laces of his shirt undone, boots off. Micah sat beside him, had followed him when Eris had stormed away into his room. He was all too conscious of the bruises on his neck, and even if they would be gone by morning, they were still there now.

“I have never pitied you,” Micah said, “I have only ever worried for you.” His pale, scar-flecked fingers moved the fabric of Eris’s shirt, traced the bruised skin by the hollow of Eris’s throat. Micah was perhaps the only person Eris let touch him like that - carelessly. 

“Don’t bother,” Eris waved a hand, “You have enough to worry about.” Eris tilted his head to the side, baring his throat to Micah in a show of trust. “And they look worse than they feel.”

“They look painful,” Micah mumbled, turning his hand so that his knuckles gently grazed the bruises. 

“They are painful,” Eris answered honestly, “Just not as painful as they look.”

Micah moved, leaned back, taking his hand away so that it rested on the sheets between them, their fingers nearly touching. “What happened?” Emerald green eyes holding Eris’s gaze, almost a challenge for Eris to tell him nothing.

When Lagos and Widge had been there earlier that evening, Eris had neglected to mention that he’d nearly been strangled by his father - it was nothing new and Eris didn’t like it when they fussed over him. Micah had stayed behind when the others had left, he’d always seemed to know when something was wrong. And Eris had never seemed capable of keeping the truth from Micah if he asked for it.

Eris ran a hand through his hair, sighing before he started. “I feel like he’s gotten worse.” Eris saw the anger briefly flash in Micah’s eyes before he nodded for Eris to go on. “More punishments, harsher punishments,” Eris shook his head, he hated admitting any sort of weakness to anyone, but Micah had always been an exception. “You should see the way he treats my mother lately.”

“I’m guessing that’s why you have those bruises.”

Micah lifted his chin, the gold of his tattoos catching Eris’s attention. Eris remembered how he would trace those elegant lines, fingers feather-light, how he hadn’t done so in over two centuries. If Beron had ever learned of what Eris had done with Micah during his time at the war camp, his father might have killed them both. Eris was glad that they could still be friends despite it, despite Eris ending it between them in no uncertain terms. He didn’t know what he’d do without Micah.

Eris nodded, eyes still on Micah’s tattoos. If he stared at the beautiful golden leaves, looked at something so familiar, maybe he wouldn’t fall apart. “He threw a chair at her in the middle of dinner, didn’t hit her, but even Cato got involved.” Eris hadn’t heard what his mother had said to the High Lord, had only heard his father shout at her to be quiet before he’d gotten violent. “Protecting our mother seems to be the only thing we can agree on.”

Micah’s brows furrowed, “Can you think of any reason for the sudden change in your father’s behaviour?” Micah had told Eris once that when he was facing a problem, he tried looking for its root. Eris had taken that advice to heart and always attempted to do the same. Eris had spent quite a bit of time lately thinking about why his father might be acting differently.

“I think he knows,” Eris admitted, “About Lucien, about Helion, maybe, I’m unsure.” Lucien had looked enough like their mother that no one ever questioned he wasn’t Beron’s. “He doesn’t look like the rest of us, not really, not anymore, and Beron isn’t an idiot.” Eris knew he was rambling, but Micah’s expression told him that he didn’t mind, that he was still listening. “He looked more like us when he was younger, but he’s changed so much, my mother is afraid, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Eris—” 

“This was ridiculous,” Eris continued, “Thinking Beron wouldn’t be able to see Lucien was different, his magic is so fucking weak compared to ours, he’s practically looking for an excuse to get rid of him, Micah, it was only a matter of time before he was certain.” He fisted his hands in the sheets, “He knows, he has to.” Eris felt like the walls of his bedroom were closing in around him. “I told my mother I’d protect him, I can’t even protect her, and that oath keeps me up at night.”

“Eris, you’re going to set your sheets on fire.” 

Eris took a deep breath, unclenching his fists, controlling his flames. “Move back,” Eris snarled. 

Micah sounded so certain, so confident, as he spoke. “You’re not going to burn me.” 

Eris didn’t want to take the chance, so he just repeated himself, voice low as he enunciated each word. “Move back.”

Eris was glad when Micah shifted away from him. “Beron isn’t going to hurt Lucien, not now. Killing your mother, killing Lucien, is practically an admission that he can’t control the members of his household,” Eris could see the logic in Micah’s argument. “If he can’t control his wife, how can he be expected to control an entire court?” 

“That makes sense,” Eris took another deep breath, closing his eyes.

Beron wanted to control everything, Eris wasn’t very fond of events that were out of his control either - just one of the many things that made Eris think that perhaps he and his father were more alike than he wanted to admit. “That makes a whole lot of sense.” 

“Of course it does,” Micah assured him. “And you can’t keep putting all this pressure on yourself to make sure nothing bad will happen, you’re not a seer and you can’t control your father’s actions no matter how much you would like to.”

“I would like for him to be dead.” Eris wondered if perhaps he shouldn’t just challenge his father to a duel. Of course, the last time Eris had fought his father, he’d almost been killed by him. 

“You and nearly all of Autumn,” Micah said, “That doesn’t mean you should do anything stupid.” 

Eris lazily opened one eye to look at him, “I’m convinced you can read minds.”

Micah huffed a laugh, “I wish, would make my life a whole lot easier.”

Eris opened his other eye, feeling quite a lot better than before. He was about to thank Micah for listening, for helping, when Micah ran a hand through his shoulder-length hair. “I should get going and you should get some sleep, the Mother knows you don’t get enough.” Eris watched Micah carefully as he went to stand, as the muscles of his broad shoulders moved beneath the thin fabric of his shirt, as he turned away.

Eris didn’t know why he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper as he asked, “Micah?” Eris didn’t like how he sounded - uncertain - but Micah had already paused, waiting for Eris to continue. “You don’t have to go.” The look of surprise on his face, brows raised and jaw slack, had Eris speaking again, “You can go, if you’d like to, though, I just thought maybe it was late.” He felt his ears heat and cursed himself, this was one of his best friends.

Micah’s surprise disappeared as he flashed Eris a smile, kicking off his boots. “Are you asking me to stay the night?” 

Eris rolled his eyes, “Wouldn’t be the first time.” Micah had always let Eris make the first move, had never pushed him into doing anything he hadn’t been ready for. Micah seemed more than happy to get comfortable in Eris’s bed, placing a gentle hand on Eris’s shoulder, pulling him over so that they were lying down next to each other - facing each other.

Micah moved the sheets over himself as he laid down on his side, muttering, “Who needs this many pillows?” 

“I do,” Eris mumbled, lying down on his stomach, face turned so that he could look at the other male in his bed. Micah had always thought Eris had more pillows than he needed. “Doesn’t this bring back memories?” Eris didn’t even have to lift a finger for all the lights in the room to go off.

Micah snorted, “Memories of you being an insufferable prick. Cauldron, I had thought you were so arrogant.” Eris being shoved into the general’s tent on his first day at the war camp had bothered them both, had led to their first fight. Micah had clawed his way into that position, Eris was handed the title of commander on a shining silver platter. It was mostly Eris’s fault that they hadn’t gotten along, had argued about nearly everything.

“Yes, but at least I was nice to look at.” Eris closed his eyes just as they’d finally adjusted to the dark. Micah hummed his response, taking a deep breath. Eris was pretty sure he’d closed his eyes now as well. He listened to every one of Micah’s breaths, took comfort in his familiar scent. Eris was feeling remarkably pathetic for asking him to stay, for letting him know that he didn’t want to be alone.

Once Micah and Eris had gotten past their initial hostility towards each other, Micah had only ever been kind and patient and gentle - it had taken some time for Eris to get used to that sort of thing. It was very easy for Eris to forget that Micah was one of the best generals in all of Prythian. Eris often found himself wondering if it was easy for Micah to forget that he was not only the heir to the Autumn Court, but that he was a male with one of the worst reputations in all of Prythian.

“Something else is bothering you,” Micah murmured, “You don’t have to tell me what it is, just know you haven’t fooled me into thinking that you’re alright.” 

Eris debated whether or not he should tell him what was on his mind. He felt as though he’d told Micah enough for one night, but he was relatively selfish and sometimes he needed confirmation that he wasn’t absolutely dreadful to be around. “Am I difficult?” Eris mumbled, opening his eyes.

It took Micah a moment to respond. “Yes, I suppose you are.” Micah flashed Eris one of his warm smiles, green eyes bright with amusement, so at odds with the words coming from his mouth, “You’re probably one of the most difficult people I’ve ever met.” 

“That’s good to know,” Eris frowned, if Micah couldn’t see him in the dark of the room, he could definitely sense that Eris wasn’t too pleased with that response.

“I've never lied to you, Eris, I’m not going to start now.” Micah lifted his hand, moving a strand of blood-red hair that had fallen over Eris’s face. For a moment, Eris had thought Micah was going to rest his large hand against Eris’s cheek. 

“I didn’t know you disliked me.” Eris hated to admit that he was hurt by it, hated to admit that he’d given much thought as to why his friends remained by his side. He often wondered if he wasn’t their prince, whether they’d still care about him.

“I didn’t say that,” Micah raised one of his eyebrows, “You’re always jumping to conclusions.” 

“I’m not,” Eris defended. 

“You always think you’re right.” 

“That’s because I usually am.” Eris was regretting having asked Micah to stay. 

“You’re still rather arrogant and rude and not very nice.” 

Eris was glad Micah couldn’t see the flush he was sure was on his cheeks. “Micah—”

“Getting you to admit something is troubling you is like pulling teeth.”

“Why are we friends, then?” Eris scowled.

“You’re my best friend.”

“I’m confused,” Eris muttered.

“You’re also caring and reliable and you experience brief bouts of kindness. It used to surprise me, you know, how kind you could be.” When Eris didn’t respond, Micah continued, “Just know there’s a distinction between nice and kind, I don’t think you’ll ever be very nice.” Eris hadn’t been expecting Micah to say something like that. “Yes, I think you’re difficult, I also think you’re worth it.” Micah placed his hand, palm up, in the space between them. 

“Oh,” Eris looked at Micah’s hand, at all the small scars on it. Eris remembered how Micah would place his hand, palm up, next to their heads when they’d slept on the same bed, or on the same sleeping roll, or on the ground. Eris had liked his space, still liked it, but he had liked holding Micah’s hand even more.

Eris was glad that Micah had liked holding his hand as well. They’d held hands like that, foreheads touching and legs tangled, before they fell asleep for the entire decade they’d been lovers. Eris looked at Micah’s hand now, tentatively lacing his long, slender fingers with Micah’s. For whatever reason, it felt intimate, it felt safe. Micah flashed Eris a shy smile, Eris couldn’t help but do the same.

Micah tightened his hold on Eris’s hand, his thumb moving against Eris’s as he shifted just a little closer, eyes closed, their foreheads almost touching. “Goodnight, Eris.” Eris had always envied Micah for how easily he could fall asleep, his breathing already having slowed. 

“Thank you, Micah,” Eris murmured, not even sure if he’d been heard. It didn’t take long after Eris closed his eyes, fingers still laced with Micah’s, for him to drift off into a dreamless sleep.

#eris vanserra #fanfic #autumn court #beron vanserra #lucien vanserra #lady vanserra #the lady of the autumn court #helion x lady of autumn #helion x lady vanserra #helion #fanfiction #vanserra brothers #acotar #sjm #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #a court of frost and starlight #a court of silver flames #queer eris #bisexual eris #bi eris

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

love

Written for Day 7 of @aangweek! Read here on AO3.

~*~

7. love - don’t got nowhere to go / so we’ll go with the flow / yeah, we’re living the life / sippin’ on sunshine

“I can help clean,” Aang offered as Iroh began clearing their group’s cups and plates from the circular wooden table.

Iroh chuckled, shaking his head. “There’s no need -”

“I insist,” Aang interrupted, standing and collecting his own dishes. “It’s the least I can do to thank you for closing the shop early so we could be together without politicians and paparazzi peering over our shoulders.”

“There’s no use arguing with him,” Toph commented before Iroh could protest further. “Once Twinkle Toes decides to help someone, nothing will change his mind. Accept your fate, Iroh.”

Katara laughed along with the rest of their friends, and Aang gave them a guilty grin.

“Hey, I learned from my wife-to-be,” he teased, pressing a kiss to Katara’s forehead. “Never turn my back on people who need me!”

Katara rolled her eyes at his comment, but she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Aang and Iroh gathered the last of the group’s dishes before disappearing into the kitchen.

Zuko hummed in contentment, draping an arm around Mai’s shoulders. “I wish we could meet up like this more often. Be together without all the chaos.”

Today had involved an annual meeting of important representatives from all four nations, this year hosted by the Earth King. In other words, Katara knew, it was a very rare opportunity for their friend group to reunite in full. Only after the day’s politics had ended, of course.

Sokka snorted. “I agree, but you’ve gotta admit it’s pretty much impossible for this to be a regular event.”

“Ember Island is always open for an impromptu vacation,” Mai reminded them, earning more laughter from the group.

“I might take you up on that soon,” Suki mused, pulling her hair out of its ponytail and shaking her head. “A vacation is sounding more and more attractive with every second.”

Katara allowed herself a breathy sigh. “Spirits, if I could get Aang to take a vacation…” She snorted. “That would be the day.” Her fiancé was notoriously stubborn about working until he dropped. In fact, there was only one other person whose work ethic could compare.

Mai chuckled. “Zuko is exactly the same. Always working himself into the ground.”

Ah, yes. There it was.

Toph snickered. “Sounds like a match made in the Spirit World. Are you guys sure Zuko and Aang shouldn’t be the ones getting married next month?”

Zuko flushed a shade of scarlet as bright as his fire. “I’m sitting right here, you know.”

Katara bit her tongue to hold back a snicker as Toph grinned at him. “Yes, I’m very aware.” Her grin narrowed into a sly smirk. “You’re sitting right here, and yet you deny nothing.”

Sokka burst out laughing, lightly elbowing Zuko in the ribs. “She’s got you there, hotman.”

Mai snorted at the nickname before giving Katara a play-sympathetic look. “Master Katara, how do you cope with the fact that my husband and yours-to-be are in love with each other?”

Katara sighed, leaning back in her chair and pressing the back of her hand to her forehead. “Oh, it was incredibly difficult for me to come to terms with.” She wiped an imaginary tear from her eye. “After I learned they’d kissed, I thought I’d never -”

“Oh, Agni,” Zuko groaned, burying his face in his hands at the same time Toph exclaimed, “Sparky and Twinkle Toes have kissed?!”

Katara couldn’t feign her melodrama any longer, letting herself succumb to a fit of intense laughter that made her entire upper body shake.

“Yes, they have,” Mai confirmed with a smirk. “It was hilarious, and I will never let Zuko hear the end of it.”

Zuko stared dead into the distance, his empty expression screaming that he’d rather be anywhere but there. “You’re going to tell them the story, aren’t you.”

The melancholic certainty with which he spoke was enough to make Katara snicker once more as she gave Mai a knowing glance, but before the Fire Lady could respond, Sokka spoke.

“Of course they’re going to tell us the story,” he scoffed. “The Avatar and the Fire Lord kissing? That’s the kind of thing you pass on forever to future generations!”

Suki laughed. “You sound way too invested for someone who has also kissed the Avatar,” she teased, smirking at her boyfriend.

Katara raised an eyebrow in amusement. Now that was news to her. “You did what, Sokka?”

Blood rushed to her brother’s face. “Not on the lips!” he squawked, crossing his arms over his chest. “I am just very comfortable in my feminine side around Aang.” He tapped his cheek. “So yes, we have technically kissed, but not like that.”

“To be fair, I’m pretty sure we’ve all been on the receiving end of Aang’s affection in some way or another,” Suki conceded. “That’s just his way of expressing love.”

A smile flitted onto Katara’s lips at her friend’s words. She knew most of all, perhaps, how Aang inclined towards physical affection. He was especially fond of kissing the tip of her nose.

“Really?” Sokka said, bewildered. “What, does he have a ‘thing’ with each one of us?”

Suki shrugged. “I mean, I guess so?” She smirked at their group. “Aang and I have a special, top-secret handshake. That’s our thing.”

Katara laughed. “I remember when Aang was just beginning to figure out the motions he wanted to include in your handshake.” She held her own hands up in joking surrender. “I was never privy to the final product, of course. Only experimental aspects.”

Sokka pouted. “First of all, I am hurt that I was never told this handshake existed. And second” - wounded, he placed a hand over his heart - “how come I don’t have a handshake with him?”

Suki rolled her eyes. “Babe, you said yourself that your thing with Aang is cheek kisses.”

Sokka appeared unconvinced. “Yeah, but I’m not the only one who gets cheek kisses from him.” He jutted his thumb towards his sister. “Katara gets them all the time!”

“Katara is also going to marry him, Snoozles,” Toph said with a snort. “I don’t think it’s totally off-base to consider she might have a few additional privileges compared to the rest of us.”

“Katara might be the one who snagged the Avatar,” Mai drawled, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips, “but I think it’s safe to assume that everyone in here had a crush on Aang at some point in their life.”

Katara burst out laughing both at Mai’s declaration and the different forms of denial that followed. She’d long since accepted the reality that Aang’s charm meant many people would fall for him. And if anything, it made her feel even luckier that she was the one preparing for a wedding.

Mai appeared to thrive on the chaos she’d incited. The Fire Lady had clearly been spending more - maybe too much - time with Aang. “I don’t know why you’re all so up in arms about this,” she commented, studying her nails. “When I saw him dressed up for Zuko and I’s wedding, I wondered if I was marrying the right man after all.”

Zuko choked at her words, and Mai laughed as she patted him on the back. “Kidding. But I did think Aang was the best-looking man at the reception.”

Everyone’s gaze turned to Zuko, who sighed, shoulders slumping. “No, I agree with her.” He flushed, his eyes dropping to the table. “Aang was definitely the most attractive person there.”

Katara remembered that outfit of her fiancé’s fondly. Saffron robes that danced the line between classy and casual, as fitting for an Air Nomad Avatar. And perhaps she recalled the attire begrudgingly, too, as it had attracted both wanted and unwanted attention towards her then-boyfriend at the reception.

“I’ll admit my heart fluttered the first time Aang returned to Kyoshi Island after the war,” Suki mused. “I hadn’t expected him to get so tall.”

Sokka gave his girlfriend an affronted look. “Wait a minute. Wasn’t I there -”

Suki silenced him with a finger over his lips. “Sokka. We both spent that weekend discussing how hot Aang had gotten. Don’t deny it.”

Katara raised an eyebrow at her brother. “You were planning to make some moves on Aang?”

Sokka’s face reddened. “You know what?” he finally said. “Maybe in another life. I’ll leave it at that.”

“You’ve been awfully quiet, Toph,” Mai commented, giving the earthbender a small smirk. “When did you realize you had a crush on ‘Twinkle Toes’?”

Toph crossed her arms over her chest, which Katara noted with amusement did nothing to hide the rosy blush coloring her friend’s cheeks. “Never. Because unlike all of you, I’m blind and therefore cannot be affected by Aang’s so-called ‘good looks.’”

“Aw, but Aang is so much more than his looks,” Katara teased, unable to remain out of the chaos Mai had incited any longer. “What got you, Toph? His voice? His jokes? His incessant kindness towards anyone and anything?”

Toph opened her mouth before slamming it shut. “Fine,” she grumbled. “I’ll tell you. On one condition.” She pointed at Zuko. “I still want to know how Sparky and Aang locked lips.”

Mai snickered at her husband’s misfortune, and Katara herself couldn’t help but laugh as Zuko muttered a variety of curses under his breath.

“An easy deal,” Katara agreed. “Now tell us - what got you?”

Toph exhaled a resigned sigh. “His voice,” she grumbled, and the table burst into another round of laughter and cheers. Really, they were lucky that Iroh or even Aang himself hadn’t returned to investigate all the noise.

“Honestly, no one can blame you there,” Sokka remarked, shaking his head. “Who could have predicted Aang would grow up the way he did?”

Katara raised an eyebrow at her brother, though she doubted the expression was as intimidating as she intended it to be. “Really?”

“Okay, well, except for you -”

“Enough chatter!” Toph interrupted, slamming a fist on the table. A smirk pulled at her lips. “Sparky? Storytime?”

Zuko groaned. “Remember how I said I wished we could all meet up more often?” He shook his head. “I take it back.”

Suki laughed. “Stop whining and get on with the story, Zuko.”

“Or else I’ll tell it for you,” Mai added, slipping her hand into her husband’s. Katara couldn’t deny the story would be funnier if Mai told it, as she’d already heard it a dozen times from her friend.

Zuko sighed. “It’s not even an exciting story.” He rolled his eyes. “I was going over some paperwork with Aang and Mai. At one point, Aang was called away for - for Avatar business, or something.” He huffed. “Aang went to give me a ‘goodbye kiss’” - Zuko pointed to his forehead - “because that’s his ‘thing’ with me, I guess. But I didn’t realize what he was doing, so I looked up to ask him a question, and we -”

“- and you accidentally kissed?” Sokka finished flatly. “Aw, man! That is boring.” He shook his head in disappointment. “Such a letdown.”

“What Zuko conveniently forgets to mention every time he tells this story,” Mai said, amused, “is that he leaned into the kiss.”

Toph burst out laughing as Zuko adamantly protested that no, he had not, no matter what his wife said. “So,” the earthbender said amidst her snickers, “what I’m hearing is that Zuko never really got over his crush on Aang?”

“No, he did not,” Mai mused. “But it’s not like I can hold that against him. Having a crush on Aang is perfectly understandable.”

“If it’s any consolation, Zuko,” Katara said, resting her elbows on the table and placing her chin atop her hands as she gave the firebender a devilish grin, “Aang thinks you’re a pretty good kisser.”

Her comment set their group off for the umpteenth time, and Katara snickered at the rollercoaster of emotions roaring over Zuko’s face. There was nothing better than sparking a little chaos every now and then, was there?

Huh. Aang had rubbed off on her, too. She supposed being engaged to him would do that.

“Uh… I feel like I missed something here?”

Katara bit the inside of her cheek to contain her laughter as Aang dropped into his seat beside her. “Oh, no. You didn’t miss anything.”

Aang stared with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment at their friends, who were yet to collect themselves. “Are you sure? What did you guys talk about without me?”

Katara hummed noncommittally, shrugging. “Nothing special.” She pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Just how much we love you.”

~*~

more of aang being adored by his friends in fanworks 2k21, please and thank you. i hope you enjoyed my collection of ficlets for the week, and as always - thank you for reading!

#aang #aang week #aanglove #atla #avatar the last airbender #katara #sokka #toph beifong #zuko #suki #mai #the gaang #every aang ship gets dropped in this kdsjkdasks #kataang #sokkaang #taang #zukaang #sukaang #maiaang #atla fanfic #atla fanfiction #amy writes

[jaggedlittleteacup]

Three Acts

Note: Fuck it, I’m just going to post this now. @call-me-moo.

Act Three

I dial Mary’s number on my dying mobile. “Do c...come in. It’s a little cramped…I must warn you.”

I’m sitting on a rickety old chair in an abandoned building. No, not even a building- a mere façade.

Just like Mary.

I shake away the thought and concentrate. I don’t have long before I start bleeding through the stitches. Every passing minute is crucial to both the plan and my survival.

I’ve already gotten through the bulk of the phone call with Mary. It’s mostly filler to keep her from storming inside and shooting me on sight, and it’s working so far.

Like scenes from a play...

She’ll be coming inside soon, judging from her initial distance from the building. It won’t be long now.

I can hear her breathing quicken over the line as my question grows more and more personal. “What do you want, Sherlock?” she growls, her voice lower than I’ve ever heard it.

“Mary Morstan...stillborn in 1972. Thought it’d be...a-awfully clever, taking her name like that,” I say softly, clutching my chest with my free hand. “It’s why you don’t have any...f-friends from before...then.”

Common enough tactic.

Mary’s sharp laugh rings out. “You don’t sound very well, Sherlock. Perhaps we should get you to a hospital.” Her voice lowers. “Or a morgue.”

“How...how good of a shot are you?” I ask, biding my time with the questions. I need to stall. Answers can come later, hopefully with John’s assistance.

Even so…

I need to know.

I can almost hear her smirk from the other side of the line. “How badly do you want to find out? I’d be more than happy to demonstrate. I can see you’re right in front of me, it would only take a single pull of the-“

“If you’re such a good shot…” I take a few shaky breaths and continue to interrupt her, “…th-then...demonstrate. Unf-fortunately, I don’t have any l...live targets, forgive me. You’ll h-have to...settle for a coin.” I force a weak laugh that makes my stomach ache and my labouring lungs burn. “That is...i-if you can…”

The line crackles a bit on her end. “You think you can bait me, Sherlock? I thought you knew me better than that.”

Yes, Mary.

Hook, line, and sinker.

“I want to...know how good you are,” I say encouragingly. “Go on...the doctor’s wife must b-be...rather bored, by now...Because…” I gasp for a much-needed breath.

“Because what?” she snaps, frustrated, as she adjusts the leather strap of her heavy purse.

Added weight of the gun. Obviously unaccustomed to carrying it around. Is she still a good shot?

“Because...you’re a psychopath...and p-psychopaths get bored.” I groan into my coat collar in pain. At this rate, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold out.

“Ha,” she scoffs. “I’ll entertain you, Sherlock. God knows you can’t have much left in you, anyway.” Mary pulls out a fifty-pence piece from her purse and holds it aloft. She glances above, gauging the height of the ceiling with a critical eye, and flips the coin in the air. In one swift move, she aims the gun and fires. A metallic clank is heard, and she smirks triumphantly.

I hang up the phone with a flourish. “Impressive,” I whisper, the faintest smile on my face visible in the flickering light.

Mary turns to look at me, clearly startled. “You’re…standing. Then who...Ah. I see. A dummy? Fairly obvious trick, don’t you think?” She slides the coin over to me with the tip of her boot.

I lean over with a grunt and pick it up, pausing only to examine it. I straighten up, the stabbing pain making it harder to stand. My breathing is growing more and more erratic, but I choose to ignore it in favour of my deductions.

Ordinary fifty-pence coin, no obvious assistive modifications. Hole where the 0.38mm bullet penetrated is precisely in the center. Fifteen-plus years in the killing business, at least. She’s a remarkable shot, I’ll give her that.

Not good enough, though.

“Impressed?” she asks, not a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

“Spectacularly...accurate sh-shot, yet you...failed to place...a kill. Sentiment, or d-did you...not want to...blow y-your cover?” It’s a risk to taunt her so openly, but unfortunately a risk I must take.

“Neither. John wasn’t supposed to come save you. The doorframe creaked fairly loudly and that alerted him. You would have died if it hadn’t been for my damn recklessness,” Mary snarls, looking more angry at herself than anyone else. “It’s not a mistake I’ll make again.”

Wait-

She raises her gun to my forehead.

-this isn’t how it’s supposed to-

I hear a click and a loud shot.

When I open my eyes again, I see Mary crumpled on the floor, her chest weakly moving up and down as blood leaks from her body, filling spaces it shouldn’t be. I can hardly breathe from the shock of seeing her so suddenly vulnerable.

“You...d-don’t...you didn’t…h-have a...g-gun…” she chokes out. “H-how…?”

“Sorry,” I hear a bitter voice behind her say, and suddenly John is standing there, his gun pointed straight ahead, and it all makes sense. “Not that obvious a trick.”

“John- b-but-“ I stutter out, my mouth moving, but hardly any noise coming out.

How…how did he…?

Mary groans loudly, and I move to ask him again, thinking perhaps he didn’t hear me.

“J-John…”

“You. You don’t get to speak,” John hisses, before leaning down to Mary’s side. “Mary, I can still…”

“N-no…” she says softly, obviously straining to sit up. “It’s...t-too late, John. I...I suppose...n-now I know how...Sh-Sherlock f-felt...Ah-!” She cries out in anguish and lifts a shaking hand to John’s face.

He doesn’t push her hand away. “You’re a pathetic liar, Mary. You lied to me, you shot my best friend, you- you-“ He’s practically hyperventilating with anger now, each breath harder than the next. “You killed our baby.”

Mary is eerily silent for a moment, but she nods eventually. “I d-did...John...Will...w-will it matter...i-if I say...I-I’m sorry…?”

“No,” he says honestly. His face is more pained than I have ever seen, contorted with unspoken rage and agony. “You’ve destroyed it all, Mary. I will never forgive you.”

“P-please…” she begs, clinging onto his collar with an almost frightening desperation. “I c-can’t go...n-not like this...J-John…”

“You should have thought about that…” John swallows back a sob, “...before you shot Sherlock.”

Tears stream down her pale, stricken face. “I th-think I l-loved you...o-once...d-did you ever...l-love me...J-John…?”

“Once,” he says softly, closing his eyes for a moment. “Not anymore. Not since Sherlock came back, I think.”

I’m silent.

What could I possibly say…?

Her face grows sadder, if that’s possible. “I...c-could never...c-compare...not t-to…him…”

“I’m not gay,” he says with a weak smile, forcing a small chuckle.

“A-and...I’m...n-not an...a-assassin…” she gasps out with a laugh, pulling harder on his coat. “I...w-would have...n-never really...k-killed you, y-you know…?”

His face is grim. “I don’t know that, Mary. Because I don’t know you at all. I- I bet...I bet your name isn’t even Mary.”

“It’s n-not,” she admits, her grip beginning to fail. “Th-that- ...wh-what I just s-said…- was a lie...I w-would have…” she coughs out, dark blood trickling from the corners of her pink lips. “I w-would h-have...I w-would...b-because I’m s-selfish…”

He nods. “I didn’t believe you, anyway.”

“I e-even...w-wanted...R-Rosamund…” Mary’s trembling hand slips from his jacket.

“Mary…”

“R-Rosamund...f-far better...th-than...Sh-Sher...Sherlock…” Her breath hitches on my name, and her face tightens with the effort. “G-goodbye...b-both of you…”

“Mary,” John breathes. “D...don’t…”

“G-go b-back to B-Baker S-Street...J-John...And Sh-Sherlock…?” She turns her head slightly to look at me. “I-I’m...s-sorry…T-take c-care...of...J...John…”

Her eyes go glassy and dull as she quietly exhales for the last time. John looks numb as uses two fingers to gently push her eyelids shut. Pressing a final kiss to her clammy forehead, he abruptly stands up and snaps his fingers. “Sherlock. Let’s go,” he says, his tone deathly quiet and clipped.

“J-John…”

“I said...let’s go. There’s nothing left for us here.”

I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. I’ve waited too long. I should have called someone. I should have called the hospital. I can almost hear John scolding me already- ‘Why do you never call the police?’

My vision goes blurry as my legs fail me. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, but then again…this night has been full of surprises. Nothing short of dangerous encounters and yet another miraculous deus-ex-machina from John Watson.

Not dead. Not yet.

“Amb- ambulance…” I whisper hoarsely, before collapsing on the floor next to Mary’s cold, limp, unmoving body.

John rushes towards me, and I get a glimpse of her pale face as my eyes flutter shut. Her lips are slightly parted, almost upturned. She seems to be finally at rest. She doesn’t deserve it, but I don’t think I could think of a better way for her to exit this world. A brutal display of karma…

…And yet…

I feel my flat expression become a weak smile.

She looks...so peaceful...almost like she’s sleeping…

The End (?)

~

Act One linked below:

https://benaddicted-linfanuel.tumblr.com/post/656892650818011136/three-acts

Act Two linked below:

https://benaddicted-linfanuel.tumblr.com/post/656968775195934720/three-acts

Epilogue linked below:

https://benaddicted-linfanuel.tumblr.com/post/657054522939686912/three-acts

#bbc #sherlock holmes #john watson #sherlock #johnlock #jim moriarty #post reichenbach #mary is not good #she’s actually pretty evil #like ew #Mary sucks #lol

[emily-the-fae]

Sound of a Heartbeat

Part 4. Negotiations, Exortions and Stories of the Past

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 5 - Part 6

Surprisingly, this story continues to move further for me.

Back to the characters where we left them in the previous part - with some heated arguments and intimate talks.

Pairing: Dracula x OC

Warnings: none, apart from lung diseases, wounds and Adrian being a total sweetheart

Next morning Shari woke up to sounds of footsteps and hushed speech. Straight away she knew the upcoming conversation will have to be one hell of a diplomatic achievement – how do you explain your sudden desire to leave to a group of half vampire, speaker and a vampire hunter who were most probably fighting for your life during the last three days. Trevor would be completely furious. Better stand next to Sypha when presenting the decision, just in case he suddenly has the wish to use his whip. You never know how the Belmont reacts, though possibly Shari could still drag it through without making a big fuss – Lisa was definitely right about one thing: she has made a habit of negotiating her way with people, especially the ones that were apprehensive or disliked her. Truth to say, nine out of ten were either of the two.

- And don't forget, you are our healer, how are we...!?

- And don't forget, you are our healer, how are we...!?

- So far I wasn't so much required, you guys can carry on perfectly well without me.

- I'm still not sure if it is a good idea, Shari, if you want to get some rest by leaving... It may only be more dangerous for you, - Sypha argued.

- Don’t you even think of supporting her! She took a few years off our lifespans with this incident! We can’t just let you…

- No, wait, you don't get it, I...

- Shari!

- Stop bossing me around, Trevor, I am not a child! I have not finished.

- Trevor, please calm down, she is neither under your command, nor your sibling. If she wants to leave, it is her choice, - Adrian stepped in, clearly annoyed with the three.

- See? I can perfectly… - Shari tried to pick up.

- Shari, - Adrian interrupted. – Can I speak with you privately?

The healer was genuinely startled for a moment. She turned to look Adrian in the eyes – probably for the first time since the incident – trying to estimate his emotions and plan her defense strategy. She was never scared of him – or at least she never showed that he scared her sometimes, because surely being sane and realistic she could not ignore the obvious danger presented by those sharp fangs and golden eyes. Still Shari was used to considering him a friend, his malevolent side almost unable to turn against her.

Now she was startled and – honestly – slightly scared. For a moment she thought she saw it in his eyes that he looked right through her: that he perhaps watched her and Lisa or sensed her thoughts or some other vampire telepathy kind of thing. That maybe he thought she was a traitor.

Then he smiled warmly and nodded his head to the side, gesturing for her to follow him away from Trevor and Sypha – and Shari straight away knew whatever it was, he was ready to be on her side.

- Are you sure you need this resting? I mean clearly you do, you are paler than father when he wakes up, but still… Sari, I know you are stronger than you look, but a witch traveling alone during such a time doesn’t seem the brightest idea to me, - Adrian spoke quickly and quietly, for others not to hear their discussion. Shari felt ashamed for how it continued to surprise her that he sounded genuinely concerned.

- Adrian, I’ll be fine. I swear. I just… I don’t feel well…for, let’s say, various reasons, not only the attack. It just suddenly occurred to me that since your father seems to be watching and purposefully slowing you down, it may be a good decision for me to…

- To not stick around and lower the risk of encountering him or strong specifically directed demons? – she nodded in response. – Well, I can get that… And Shari, - he suddenly took her hand, his tone turning uncharacteristically warm. – I’m sorry.

- You don’t have to. We already spoke about…

- Not about that. About your disease. I’m so sorry. If only I knew how to help you – I could have known the way, you know, I once had the access to knowledge that could have… I’m so sorry for you.

They stood in silence for a few moments. Shari found herself unable to look into his eyes, staring at the ground.

- For how long have you known? – she rasped, barely recognizing her own quiet voice.

- Almost as soon as we met… Shari, I…

- Don’t. It’s alright, Adrian, I just didn’t realize you knew and this struck me a little…

- Do you know where you will be heading? – if she ever was grateful to him for anything – though she was grateful for plenty of things to be fair – it was his ability to catch onto the atmosphere and change the topic when it is very much needed.

- I… yeah sure, of course I do, I have a rough plan of what to do. Thanks, - she coughed dryly a few times, still refusing to lookup and meet his gaze.

- Shari?

- Yes.

- Promise me you will be fine. Not to be dramatic, but I… have gotten used to you quite a lot.

Shari chuckled.

- Will do my best, - she finally looked up at him and saw the half-vampire smile broadly. – I’ve gotten pretty used to you too, you overgrown puppy, - they stood in silence for some time.

- Almost forgot, one last thing before we face the storm of unacceptance named Trevor, - he blurted out, when she moved tostep away and turn back to the campsite.

- Yes?

Adrian did not say a word – he simply opened his arms and Shari fell into the embrace without even thinking. She felt utterly childish for being this familiar with him. She also felt it was nice to have someone to turn to when feeling torn and exhausted without having to explain the whirlwind of emotion in your head.

Shari shouldn’t have been surprised that it was Adrian who let her go with such ease. He knew he could trust her decisions, he always did. She was somewhat flattered by the way he treated her as an advisor and assistant even though she was no way as knowledgeable as him; the half-vampire always showed that he believed she had an own analyzed perspective of things, that she wouldn’t be reckless. This time though his trust in her rationality might have failed him. Any way it was, he openly supported her decision and expressed the hope that she would be able to catch up with them in some time.

Shari knew Trevor thought Dracula hypnotized her into surrender and laughed at it to herself. If only he had a clue that it was the human Dracula's wife who controlled her.

In the end of that emotionally exhausting morning they finally parted ways: the trio went in the direction of the closest town, hesitant to leave their friend, but unwillingly agreeing it should be done for greater good; Shari stayed at the campsite with Rodo for a bit longer, motivating it with the need of rest. Adrian threw a concerned glance in her direction, but said nothing. The vampire felt there was something wrong, but decided to let it slide, since he had already supported her decision; if she said she needed rest, then so be it.

In fact, although Shari did tell him she had a rough plan of further action, in reality she had little to no ideas in which direction to move and absolutely no wish of discussing it with thin air in front of her disbelieving friends: they would definitely not see Lisa and they would definitely think she was hallucinating after the attack. To be fair, she could never herself be sure if that wasn't exactly the case. Maybe she was talking to an imaginary friend. However, since she had already decided to believe in the ghost's existence, she had to play along that assumption.

Lisa didn’t leave her waiting and appeared as soon as they were left alone, Shari sitting by the campfire a little lost and a little tired; a victorious smile played on the ghost's lips, as she sat by the fire next to the girl. Rodo made no sign of noticing their guest, only slightly shaking his furry head and letting out a jawn.

- What? - asked Shari, annoyed by the constant attention of the ghost. She took the cattle off the fire and set it aside to cool down a bit. She needed something warm to drink if she wanted to keep her blood and lungs inside her body.

- We have to move out, - Lisa smiled, now more gently, watching the human's movements.

- It would be nice if I knew where we went, - replied Shari, slowly looking around, taking in the little amount of her personal belongings lying about - there wouldn't be much packing when she would have finally decided to pick herself off the ground.

- I'll guide you.

- What if you disappear?

- I won't.

- What if I don't want to go? What if you only tell me that you are leading me to the castle, while in reality you will lead me to Dracula? That is actually most probably what is going to happen, - Shari finally expressed her greatest worry and doubt. She could not just trust Lisa, she wanted to, but couldn't bring herself to do so. The woman was most probably still here because of them - Dracula and Adrian - so her greatest concern would be to stop their fight in any way possible in order to finally peacefully leave them, not care about some girl getting hurt in the process.

- I believe you will just have to trust me. I have told you already, I only want to stop this war with as little blood as possible, especially when it comes to Adrian’s or Vlad-I meant Dracula’s blood. You will be of very little help to me if I simply spend time leading you to your death. Besides, I shall remind you, that your illness is not exactly leading you to a happy life, so you decided trusting me on that one, - Lisa winked at her and stood up; Shari clenched her teeth: well, that was a very good point, but definitely a blow-below-the-waist strategy. - We should move out, the sooner we start - the quicker we'll be there.

- You know, you're like an older sister that I never wished to have, - Shari huffed in annoyance, but finished her tea quickly and proceeded to pack. The fact that she was annoyed didn't cancel the fact that Lisa was right. She had to move out.

***

The day trip was completely uneventful. The few villages they had passed didn't show any signs of having been attacked, but Lisa still made Shari keep away from them - maybe it was for the best, people were very unsafe these days, the fear made them aggressive to any newcomers. Especially to ones possessing magical powers and followed by black wolf-demons. Going alone to such a village could be suicidal.

It was only at the age of ten, that Shari found out she had it in her. That one trait that made people wish your head on a pike no matter how you behave. Animals weren't just "friendly" with her, no-no, friendly is one understandable thing, especially with a little child. However, "friendly" is definitely not the most accurate description of the behaviour of the large black wolf that almost attacked her one day on the edge of the woods, stopping in mid-jump as the girl turned to face it - next picture: the wolf rolling on the ground before her like and ordinary dog demanding bellyrubs. The animals would not simply like her, they would obey her as if she spoke to them directly. She had no idea where the power came from and so preferred to think she was born into her witchcraft. Her mother insisted upon it too, saying that poor old gramma was the same odd thing in her youth. At least that was what Shari remembered her saying when they did discuss her little problem. That was until she turned sixteen – until she suddenly was separate from her family and out on her own. Until the first time the people wanted to get her burned. First of many more to come.She had learned to control herself and make use of herself, never expressing anything people would see as dark wizardry, nothing even seemingly malevolent, working for the local healer, helping out as much as she could and learning some things here or there by herself about herbs and illnesses - not a study, barely a child's curiosity.

Then it was a year of particularly poor crops after an awfully dry summer, Shari sensed it was coming before she ever knew why it was so - the villagers had no other way of dealing with such misfortunes. They placed all the blame on the odd girl who learned to cure wounds and diseases and spoke to the wild animals as she pleased. Burning witches was a very common sacrifice, after all.

The night before the burning was the night she ran. She knew they would come for her, so she escaped before they could get her, left her home to set to travel into unknown. And never truly stopped running ever since.

Lisa pitied her for that, even though Shari tried to brush it off as nothing. She was a witch after all and turned to be quite a good thief, quite some reason for the other humans to hate her already, even though she couldn't say theft pleased her herself - she was surviving the way she could: moving about and healing didn't ever buy her enough bread or material. The longest she ever stayed in a town was three months - then the cycle had to start over.

Lisa understood her reasoning for that quite well. At first she wanted to argue that staying longer might have bought Shari some trust, but held her tongue - she wasn't one to give that sort of advice, not now, not after everything that happened to her exactly for staying a little too long.

When they finally stopped for the night, Shari was almost falling - her legs unwilling to carry her anymore - and bending over in loud wet coughs, feeling the taste of her own blood in her mouth and suffocating in attempts to hold back from even more coughing. The freezing weather and bloodloss, even compensated with Sypha's magic, were not going to make this journey easier for her. Shari felt the feather light caress of the ghost's hand on her back and breathed in deeply, trying to calm her heartrate.

There was pain in her ribs now too - she was scratched quite badly a few days ago by one of the attacking demons. They were fighting off several of the things and one jumped her from behind: neither she nor Rodo had noticed it before. Shari succeeded in turning to face it, making the demon bounce off her and back away as soon as she made eye contact - these things were usually not much harder to control than wolves, especially with Rodo at her side. Unfortunately, before she managed to kick it off completely, the demon had left an unpleasant scratch across her ribcage, making her fall to the ground and lose the mental contact - the beast jumped back on her in a matter of seconds and for a moment Shari thought that would be her end. Only by luck Adrian was swift enough to protect her, fighting the thing away and aiding her to recover later - the sharp claws left three deep gashes on her skin and the girl had to spend a long time tending to herself after the fight, hoping the wound would not get infected with whatever those things could carry on their paws.

The wound had been nicely bandaged before, all was going well, but apparently Dracula's attack had erased that bit of responsibility from her memory and now Shari suddenly faced yet another problem: rebandaging was not only desirable, but very much a necessity by the time she dropped to the ground, settling for the night. The soaked and dried blood on the old bands now scratched and tore at the healing wound, causing her pain.

- ‘T is okay, - she told the ghost, quickly going to sit down on the ground. Removing the band did not take much time as well as putting on a new one-not when she was used to doing it anyways, but removing a part of her clothes let the cold bite her even more in the process, so when she was finished, she was freezing to the bone, so she wrapped herself in whatever warm cloths she had left and pressed closer to Rodo, to keep at least some body heat to herself. They decided to make no fires, as Shari was now mostly defenseless and the girl already felt how much she would regret parting ways with her friends. Lisa's care and Rodo's warm side couldn't do much to keep away the cold and her lungs were almost screaming in protest. She looked at Lisa's pitiful apologetic face and whispered: - I'm already used to it, - no you aren't, this is getting worse by second and you desperately need a fire.

- You have to fall asleep quickly. Tomorrow we'll start off at dusk, - Shari lay between Rodo's back and a large tree trunk; Lisa sat next to her head, looking down at the tired healer.

- I wish it was just as easy for me to move as it is for you, - Shari whispered sleepily.

- Trust me, you don't, - both laughed.

- How much is there left? Of the way?

- If you're lucky - and persistent, we may be there by tomorrow night, - Lisa answered reassuringly.

- Really? That's so fast... Too fast, to be fair. I thought the castle was hard to catch, - she stared back at Lisa.

- Parts of it yes, it moves as a whole. But there are stable parts - that one particular entrance was the one I used when I first found him. It was very hard to track - not many know about it, it's kind of in magically protected grounds or something - nobody has the incentive to go there, - the ghost explained.

- But you had, - Shari smirked.

- Of course I had.

- I wonder how he hadn’t killed you straight away.

- Oh, but he wanted to. He tried to frighten me – told me he would drink my blood, all that classical stuff.

- So what did you do?

- Told him his manners needed repolishing.

Pause. Shari chuckled. Then snorted. Then laughed out loud.

- And he did not murder you for such an offense?

- I believe he wanted to for a moment, but was too startled to act… And then it sort of…happened. I believe it was a big “why not” for both of us, until we suddenly saw something deeper to it, - Lisa smiled to herself, seemingly diving through memories.

- Sounds a little like me meeting Adrian for the first time – God knows I saw those large fangs and yellow eyes straight away, I knew very well what he was, just couldn’t…

- Can’t beware the dark, when it’s choice between stepping in or watching someone suffer?

- Something of the kind. My self-preservation goes way below. I called him in when I saw him bleeding out by the edge of the town – half expected him to drain me as soon as I bandaged him and when he… well, as you can see, didn’t… We just talked. He stayed over for a week gaining strength, not attempting to eat me – I guess that was the first out of the only two occasions when someone I have helped did not try to accuse me of devilish business in one way or another and just accepted the help. Of course he had to be not human.

- The second time that happened was with Rodo, wasn’t it? Humans don’t tend to be overly grateful.

Both chuckled.

- Adrian seems quite attached to you, - Lisa turned to Shari. – Thanks for that. For accepting him. I was always worried that he will have a hard time fitting in…pretty much anywhere, being what he is. So thank you.

- No need to. He is nice, your son. Feels like having a friend for once.

Pause. Shari shrugged and sighed.

- Tomorrow, you said, right? Though I can't say that I'm exactly lucky, so your prediction about the time is probably too optimistic, we are bound to have some struggle tomorrow,- she huffed, turning to her side and snuggling to Rodo's furry back.

- The castle shouldn't be so far away, it is quite close to Tragoviste, shouldn't have taken us long, - Lisa explained. - And you are lucky, sunshine - remember? You survived Dracula's bite. That mark on your neck is your lucky ticket now, - Lisa winked and lay back against the tree trunk. Shari wanted to think of a witty reply, but was interrupted by another violent fit of cough and decided to let it go. The healer cuddled into Rodo’s warm side and fell into uneasy sleep, hoping that the morning would bring at least some relief.

#castlevania #dracula x oc #dracula x reader #adrian tepes #alucard #sypha belnades #trevor belmont #adrian is such a sweetheart #lisa tepes

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hi Logan, how do I even start? Save this number, if you want to. I have been supporting Remy through texts for a bit. They have revealed to me some very troubling things in the past. Things like, their boyfriend kicking their cane from under them as a ‘joke’? Those kinds of things.

Virgil, that's his name by the way, also kind of yells at them a lot at times, and tells them they're worthless except for the use he can give to their body and that nobody else will ever love them. They believe they are horrible. They believe they deserve it. They appear to think their disability makes them only a burden to him and nothing else and while I have tried to convince them to the contrary I honestly don't believe I can when they're still trapped by choice in such a toxic environment.

I have tried to help and give them the tools to better their self-esteem and combat that, and send them nice text messages in general, but that hasn't helped in anything more than a superficial level. If you can do something, anything, or could take their case to someone who can something, I'd really appreciate that.

(Words: 2088)

(Talk of U!Virgil)

Logan: "That is...That is" He took a moment to gather himself "That is even worse than I had estimated"

"This must have been happening the other times we met them too right? And we didn't notice anything. We should have- we-" Patty mumbled out. Her voice was shaky.

She had just gotten home half an hour ago or so, she wasn't even fully out of her cosplay makeup. Logan had immediately pulled her into a hug which wasn't uncommon but he'd held onto her so hard it hurt and he’d been close to collapsing into the hug.

All it took was her asking if he was alright for him to tell her everything. He couldn't keep a secret from her even if he tried.

Now they sat in the couch. Logan had his head leaned on her chest and she had moved her arms around his waist. All they'd eaten was some of the leftover pie from Lo's date a few days ago because both of them were far too worked up to even think about cooking.

Patty pinched the bridge of her nose and tried to think "Okay well if they're being emotionally abused as what we know suggest then...I..is there even anyone we can contact that could help. I mean there's no- there's no evidence right? Or well- it's just- it's their word against Virgil's and if they won't even say Virgil is abusing them then there's nothing!"

"We can kidnap them" Logan pointed out.

"That we can"

Logan sighed “Do you think talking to them would even make a difference? They seem to already hate me so now it’s even less likely that they’ll listen”

“Well honey you can always try. They go to the same therapist as Janus right? So you can just casually ‘run into them’ right?” She gave him a loving kiss “I know my lil smarty-sweetheart can help them”

He sent her a tired smile “I’ll try”

--

Remy wasn’t as upset from the therapy session as they usually were. It had mostly been discussing how they felt about maybe being poly. They still thought they deserved a smoke break afterwards though so now they sat on bench right outside the entrance, they were on their third cigarette.

They had their head leaned against the back of the bench and was looking up at the greying sky and falling leaves so they didn’t notice when Logan sat down. He kept his distance to not startle them but cleared his throat to get their attention.

“Are you also waiting for someone?” He asked.

They glanced over to him “Girl go fuck yourself with a rake”

“Noted. I will put it in my calender. I for one am here to pick up Janus after his therapy is over for the day. Mayhaps I will show him some more star trek”

“Okay great gal. Then I’m just like waiting for Remus I guess” They pressed the cigarette into their leather jacket to put it out so they could leave as soon as they saw their cru- friend.

Logan inched closer “Is your bruise healing well?”

“Just ‘cause we’re in the same place doesn’t mean we have to talk to each other!” They snapped back.

“Exscuse me, I was simply worried about your physical health”

They rolled their eyes and crossed their arms before mumbling out “It’s fine. It’s whatever. I haven’t done it again so like forget it” 

“I am relieved to hear that”

Silence fell over them. Remy refused to look at him. Logan tried to figure out what was the best way to ask them about Virgil.

“....Your boyfriend did not insult you once you came home right?” He asked them in such a soft tone as if any slight wrong saying would make them implode on themself.

“Girl there you go again with your stupid fucking bullshit. I don’t wanna like talk about it!....Not ‘cause anything happened but ‘cause I hate you! You don’t- we don’t- we’re not friends! Why are you just like forcing yourself in on my private life! It’s like- it’s like fucking stalking!”

Logan reached out his hand to comfort them but quickly stopped himself “I am sorry. I don’t know how to best formulate this but I sincerely don’t mean to upset you like, neither do I know how to not upset you. All I know is that I want you to be okay and that if my partner treated me like yours seem to do I wouldn’t be able to stay”

Remy’s hair fell in front of their face as they leant their head in their plams “You don’t get it” They muttered.

“I am sure I don-”

“IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING EASY! It’s not like I have any savings an-and I’m not able to keep a job and without Virgil I have no way to buy medicine and- Like do you just want me to walk out and become homeless and like starve to death? Is that it? Like even if I wanted to leave, which I don’t, It’s not like I have a choice!”

A quiet sniffle came from them. Logan gave them a moment to gather their breathe.

“I...I didn’t mean to make it sound like leaving was easy” Logan murmured “I understand that you have probably been forced to think like you have no choice but to stay. I am aware of how crippling manipulation like that can be” 

He leaned closer and even though they didn’t look at him he still sent them his most caring look as he continued.

“But I promise you that there are other options. You aren’t stuck. I am willing to let you stay at my apartment for however long you need and if you aren’t comfortable with that I am sure Janus or Remus would let you stay as well. I can even pay for a motel if that would be better. Depending on what part of your disability is making you unable to work I am sure that could be fixed. For example a wheelchair could help! My point is that you do have a choice, even if it’s very understandably hard to think that”

Remy’s shoulders were shaking. Logan gently placed his hand on top of their bony shoulder. Every vein was visible through their light skin.

At just the hint of his touch they flinched away. They stumbled up from the bench and took a few steps away. They looked at him with reddened eyes.

“No. No. Girl you- you just don’t get it! That’s all!” They spat out, their voice was shaky as well “You haven’t like lived with me. Once you or Remus o-or anyone spends enough time with me you’ll realize what an annoying overemotional burden I am! An-and then I’ll get thrown out! Okay!? So-so it’s not really- I don’t actually have a choice ‘cause I’ll just get thrown out. Virgil is the only who will ever bother to deal with me for this long! ‘cause he loves me! And no one else will love me like he does. S-so just shut up!”

Logan stood up as well and took an unsure step towards them. They looked so weak, as if a single push from the wind would make them crumble. 

“It’s okay. I hear what you are saying” Logan assured.

“An-and it’s like- Virgil needs me! And I need him! That’s like how it works! I can’t just leave him! What if- who will calm him down from his panic attacks?! And if I leave what if he gets s-so upset and like anxious he hurts himself! He’s said there was a chance he would!! I can’t risk it! I have to stay! He needs me! I-I need- I can’t- I can’t leave”

Logan nodded along “It’s okay. I understand. I understand”

“You don’t! You’re a idiotic bitch! I hope all your stupid fucking ties get destroyed in the washer!” Remy was close to yelling.

“Harsh but I see your point. To be honest everything you have said has made me even more worried. From my experience a relationship shouldn’t make you feel this way! It shouldn’t make you come up with reasons to stay! It shouldn’t hurt you!” Logan reached out to comfort them once more. “I promise it shouldn’t hurt”

“It’s not hurting me! YOU are hurting me!”

Logan was taken aback. He didn’t know what to say. His arms moved to hang helplessly along his sides. Remy opened their mouth to say something more but then

“Hey uh what’s going on? Are you roleplaying a death match?” Remus stood in the entrance to the building. He glanced between the two of them.

“This idiot is trying to destroy my relationship!” Remy exclaimed.

“While it is not my place to explain the full situation without their permission I can assure you that I am merely worrying for their mental and physical health and I am unsure if their relationship is good for them from what I’ve heard” Logan explained.

Remus barely even hesitated before moving in front of Remy. He moved his arms out and let them lean against him to catch their breathe, like he was a human shield protecting them from Logan. 

Logan hadn’t seen Remus angry before and he didn’t look fully enraged, but there was a hint of anger in eyes as he sneered at him.

“Well I’m sorry Loganson but not every relationship is totally perfect and works without any arguments like you and your wife relationship apparently does!” He spat out.

“I can assure you that me and my wife’s relationship hasn’t been argument free but that doesn’t mean I have ever even thought about insulting her like Remy’s boyfriend seemingly ha-”

“You’re not Remy!” Remus snapped “You’re a guy who dresses like a 40 year old math teacher who is losing the children in the divorce! Leave them alone!” 

Remy was bordering on cowering behind Remus. Their whole body seemed to shake as a few tears spilled down their cheeks. They met Logan’s eyes.

“If the bullshit you’re saying is true, which it like isn’t but if it was that- that means I’ve spent my whole life being abused” They forced out through tears “How can you Ever you expect me to live with that?”

Logan didn’t have an answer to that. He watched on as Remus placed his hands on Remy’s shoulders and gently guided them to turn away. He bonked their foreheads together and wiped their tears away.

“C’mon beanie-boo I can take you to the amusement park to cheer you up! Or we can find some lsd and get high so you can hallucinate beating the shit out of the stinky Log guy!” Remus exclaimed as they walked away.

A headache began to form in Logan’s head as he slumped back down on the bench. He stared out at the nearly empty parking lot. He didn’t understand what he did wrong. 

He wished he could talk to Virgil. He wished he could see him eye to eye and chew him out for ever making Remy feel like a burden, for ever making them feel trapped. A part of him wanted to punch him.

He was so zoned out into the overthinking he didn’t realize how much time was passing until Janus got out from his therapy session. As soon as Jan saw his boyfriend he let up into a shining smile and hurried over to him.

“Hi dear! Aww did you miss me so much you had to come pick me up! How charming!” Janus hesitated before kissing Logan on the lips. It still made him all giggly.

Normally seeing him so giddy would have made Logan overabundant with happiness....but now all he could think about was if he should tell Janus about Remy’s situation or not. They were friends right? Could it help? Would they listen to their friend?

Logan’s head hurt so bad. None of it made sense. There was no logical answer. How Janus reacted could make everything worse. He didn’t want to ruin everything more than he already had.

“Darling? Are you feeling alright? Has something happened?” Janus asked while taking his hand.

“I....I....” Logan looked over to you.

Logan: “I am so sorry to do this but do you have any idea what to do? The human emotion and it’s reactions are so illogical I don’t- I don’t understand- I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry- Should I tell Janus about the suspected abuse or should I lie?”

#mini fic #or like a really long answer #logan sanders #remy sanders #sanders sides

[naughtyneganjdm]

The Guest - Chapter 27

Summary: Joel keeps his promise to Negan in providing money for the bills that Negan is having a hard time paying. Something happens where Joel is able to convince Negan to make a decision about all of their futures together. 

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Joel, Lucille, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, angst, small amounts of smut (but not super dirty), dirty talking, kind of sad stuff

Notes:  I'm posting this exceedingly late for me and I've been up forever, so if there are errors, sending you all my apologies. Also, I feel like I shouldn't have to say this anymore, but Joel and Negan are in a relationship with Y/N while also having feelings for each other. They all care about each other. Happy holidays folks. Sending you all out my love

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20333263/chapters/69309564

Sitting in the parking lot of the hospital, Joel tapped his hands against the steering wheel while he waited for Negan. A few days previously Negan had asked him for help with the money situation and had sent Joel a few photos of some of the bills for Lucille’s treatments. During their interaction Negan was clearly uncomfortable asking for help, so Joel tried to make it as simple as possible. Of course, Joel was a man of his word and he had gotten the money for Negan like he promised he would.

They had agreed to meet up so Joel could give Negan the money and it was a little while after the time Negan had given Joel. It was almost nerve wracking being out lately. Joel had a lot of chores he had to do out today and he didn’t want to pull Y/N out into it with all the rioting that had been taking place all over the country. It seemed like things were getting worse, not better and he didn’t think she should be out in that so he had left her at his home.

Surveying the people that were around the hospital, Joel let out a tense breath. The people there didn’t look…well. A lot of them were very pale and like the last time he was there the hospital was extremely packed. He had to drive around a bit before finally finding a spot to pull in to meet Negan. With all the people here, Joel wondered if it was the sickness they had talked about on the news or if people were just injured from the random riots that were taking place. Either way, being here made him uncomfortable and he couldn’t explain the way he felt, but he didn’t feel right about how things were.

The sound of someone knocking on his window caused Joel to jump and he looked beside him to see Negan at the side of his car. Joel had been so deep in thought looking at the people outside of the hospital that he hadn’t spotted Negan moving to the car. There was an amused smirk over Negan’s tired features when he saw that he had managed to scare Joel and Joel rolled his eyes. Letting out a long exhale, Joel unlocked his car and watched Negan get into the car beside him, “Damn it Slugger, you scared me.”

“Slugger? You’re sticking with that, huh?” Negan reached up to rub at the side of his face through his somewhat longer beard. With Negan being in the hospital, his beard had grown and his hair was quite messy from not being able to take care of himself that well.

“Unfortunately,” Joel teased with a wink, reaching for the coffee that he had bought for Negan. He lifted it for Negan and Negan gave him a sideways glance. “I was around you a lot in the mornings, I know what you like and I assumed you would appreciate this. I doubt you are getting much sleep and I know coffee from the hospital is shit.”

“You got this for me?” Negan confirmed and Joel nodded. Oddly, Negan was extremely touched that Joel even thought of him like that. Joel was already bringing him money for hospital bills, he didn’t need to be getting him coffee too, but he did. It was strange that he had a certain bond with Joel, but he was thankful for it. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Joel watched Negan get somewhat relaxed in the passenger seat beside him and Joel felt sorry for Negan. It was clear he was absolutely exhausted by the way he looked but hadn’t been able to sleep. Negan took a long swallow of the coffee and Joel let curiosity get the best of him.  “How’s Lucille?”

“Honestly? About the same. She’s getting a treatment, that’s why I’m able to be out here for a few,” Negan informed Joel, looking at his watch to see the time. “I have about an hour. They will call me if they need me.”

“Is this where you would pay the bills?” Joel reached between them to pull open the compartment to take out the envelope of money he had stashed away there for Negan. Holding it out, he could see Negan’s hazel eyes looking it over with a nervous glance. “It’s all there.”

“Joel, are you sure about this?” Negan confirmed feeling his throat go dry while he looked at the envelope that he knew held a sizeable amount of money. “I feel really, really bad about this. I know you said it was okay, but I feel like an asshole asking this of you.”

“Please don’t,” Joel held the envelope out further and Negan’s eyes met Joel’s. “I would give you this and anything else you need. I don’t mind. So please…”

“Thank you,” Negan grabbed a hold of the envelope and pushed it into his pocket on the right side. “You have no idea how much this means to me. Like…fuck…this is big.”

“I know how much it means to you,” Joel didn’t want to make Negan feel bad about this, but it was clear that Negan was embarrassed by the way his Adam’s apple bounced in his throat. “And it’s no worries. I’m just helping out a friend.”

“No, it’s big Joel,” Negan insisted calling Joel by his real name because using the nickname Negan had given him in a mocking tone just felt very wrong at the time. Friends didn’t usually do this for friends, so he knew that Joel was more important than a friend. “It’s really big and I owe you one.”

“Just take care of yourself and your wife…that’s payback enough for me,” Joel suggested eyeing Negan over in the seat behind him. Negan lifted his left hand to rub it over the front of his face and Joel cleared his throat uneasily.

“I want to hug you, but I don’t know if that would be awkward,” Negan grumbled against his hand and his eyes peaked out from above his hand as he turned his head toward Joel. “I’m not used to this affection and shit…”

“You don’t have to hug me,” Joel snorted and waved his hand in the hair dismissively. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable Negan and if you…”

A grunt fell from Joel’s throat when he was interrupted by Negan reaching across the car to pull Joel into a one-armed hug. Joel accepted the hug and pat Negan on the upper back in a supportive motion. Negan’s cheek brushed against Joel’s as Negan pulled away and Negan’s eyes were hooked on Joel’s making Joel swallow down hard.

“I know you tell me it’s not a big deal, but it is,” Negan asserted with a firm nod before sliding back more comfortably in his seat. Negan’s head bobbed down like he was about to pass out from exhaustion, but he caught himself and raised his head. He attempted to shake off the feeling with a yawn as he stretched out his body and Joel took notice of it.

“Anything you need, it’s here,” Joel winked and Negan gave him a half smile before nodding.

“I should probably go get this paid,” Negan announced, reaching for the handle of the door and he felt Joel’s hand pressing in over his knee to stop him. There was a concerned expression over Joel’s features and Negan reached out to pat Joel on the hand. “What is it?”

“Why don’t you put the chair back and sleep for a little bit?” Joel offered catching the smile that Negan gave him. Negan wasn’t taking him seriously with his suggestion and that was obvious by the expression on Negan’s face. “I’m not kidding Negan.”

“You have better things to do with your time than watch me fucking sleep in your car Joel,” Negan pointed out, taking a look around the hospital parking lot they were in. “Thank you for the offer, but…”

“You have an hour. When is the last time you slept, at all?” Joel inquired making Negan let out a shuddering exhale. God, it had been so long since Negan had really slept. He couldn’t even think of a time he had more than a few minutes here or there. “I’ve got some time until I have the next thing that I have to get done. Just rest back, close your eyes and I’ll pay attention for your phone in case someone calls.”

“Joel…” Negan’s face twisted with contemplation and he saw Joel reaching in the backseat for something. Joel stretched out his body to grab a blanket and put it on Negan’s lap. “You’re not giving me much of a choice in this, are you?”

“Instead of sitting in that hospital room panicking, relax for a few minutes,” Joel ordered, reaching for Negan’s coffee to set it back where he had it in the drink carrier previously. Negan gave somewhat of a glare before pulling out his phone and setting it on the dashboard so it would be heard, not muffled. Negan put the seat back and Joel smiled. “Good boy.”

“Now don’t go trying to get inappropriate touches in while my eyes are closed, okay?” Negan joked with a tired tone and Joel rolled his eyes. It was typical of Negan to be a sarcastic shit like this. Getting comfortable, Negan bunched up the blanket and curled it under his head. It was so easy to screw with Joel because he was so proper that Negan couldn’t help himself. “I’d rather be awake if I was going to be molested.”

“You’re hilarious,” Joel grunted while Negan got comfortable beside him and Joel attempted to pull his own phone out of his pocket. With Negan being a smart ass, Joel found himself actually attempting to do the same with him. “You know, if you just wanted a hand job Negan, all you had to do was ask. You didn’t have to crack a joke about me inappropriately touching you while you slept.”

“Ohhh, really? So, if I wanted one of those, you would be willing?” Negan lifted his head in remark to Joel giving him a hard time and he felt Joel hit him in the stomach making him laugh. “Man…don’t offer it if you aren’t going to give it. That’s just cruel. I was hoping for some kind of release. Do you know how long it has been since I’ve gotten to cum? The big man and the iron sack are aching my friend.”

“Jesus,” Joel groaned outwardly and heard Negan’s tired laughter fill the car. “Your mouth is something else.”

“You like my mouth,” Negan slurred with a wolfish grin making Joel roll his eyes. “A lot actually.”  

“Go to bed,” Joel snapped his fingers and Negan’s nose wrinkled when he heard Joel’s order, but he did what Joel asked in closing his eyes.

“You’re such a fucking prude,” Negan scoffed cuddling his head in further against the blanket.

“And you need a bar of soap in that mouth half of the time,” Joel snickered, reaching up to cover his eyes.

“Is a bar of soap the nickname for your penis?” Negan bit at his bottom lip and heard Joel make a disgusted sound. The amusement this was giving Negan was probably more than it should have been, but he didn’t care. It was so easy to screw with Joel and Joel was falling right into it.

“You’re awful,” Joel bickered with Negan when Negan’s dark eyes slowly parted to stare out at Joel with mischief.

“And yet you find me charming,” Negan slurred with an arched eyebrow. “I’ve rubbed off on you and you kind of like it.”

“We just went from a serious moment to you talking like we are in a porno,” Joel stated knowing that it was just who Negan was. He would expect nothing less. Unfortunately, although Joel was a bit of a smart ass himself, Negan knew that he could get Joel flustered by saying sexual things.

“Man, your mind is so dirty thinking about wanting to make a porn with me,” Negan felt the whack of the back Joel’s hand against his chest and he laughed deeply. “Okay, okay. I’m going to bed. Jesus.”

“About damn time,” Joel grumbled to himself and Negan let out a tight, muted laugh. At least for a moment Negan didn’t have to be so fucking serious about everything. Having a little fun was probably nice for him as opposed to what he was used to.

Joel watched Negan for a minute and realized it didn’t take long for Negan to fall asleep. He was surprised Negan could make it as long as he did. In that situation, Joel wasn’t sure that he could keep going and going like Negan had done.

Picking up his own phone, Joel started getting a grocery order in for him and Y/N since he didn’t think they should really be going out that much and it was easier to do while he was just waiting with Negan beside him instead of on the go.

Occasionally, Joel would look beside him to make sure that Negan was okay. The way Negan shifted and twitched in his sleep made Joel worry. Negan was good at hiding his emotions for the most part, but he was wondering if Negan was dreaming something awful. Joel was originally just hopeful that Negan would be able to finally get some peaceful sleep in, but he was wondering if even in his sleep Negan had to face his fears. After about twenty minutes, Joel could hear the sound of Negan’s breathing change and he felt the soft grab of something at his arm.

Looking, he saw Negan’s fingers wrapped around his forearm and Negan’s tired eyes were staring out at him, “Lay back with me.”

“What was that?” Joel asked Negan to repeat himself because he wasn’t sure he heard him right. Negan’s eyes narrowed into a glare from where he was resting on the curled-up blanket.  

“Put your seat back, I don’t want to be alone. Please?” Negan begged, watching Joel think about what he asked for and Joel turned the car off. Joel reached for Negan’s cell phone, putting it on his chest as he laid back with Negan. “Thank you.”

“Yeah,” Joel simply nodded, reaching for his jacket that he had deposited earlier to ball it up and use as a pillow for himself.

“You’re too nice for your own good,” Negan grumbled, closing his eyes when he moved his body in closer to Joel’s to get the sense of not being alone while he rested. Sleeping alone was not something he really wanted to go through right now. It felt strange and to have the warmth of someone beside him just made him feel more comfortable.

“I know,” Joel replied, stretching out his body while he laid beside Negan.

The warmth of Negan’s hand pressed in beside his and Joel slid his further out to grab a hold of Negan’s hand. Negan’s eyes partially opened and he smiled when he realized that Joel was supportively holding onto his hand. Tangling his fingers with Joel’s he squeezed them firmly before getting more comfortable in the seat.

There was silence for a while between the two of them and Joel watched Negan sleep. It was strange having this kind of relationship with Negan, but he didn’t care. Joel had this want to protect and take care of both Y/N and Negan. It was something that seemed to be deep seeded inside of him and he found comfort in being with the both of them.

At first, his feelings for Negan felt strange, but when he felt as if they were somewhat reciprocated, he didn’t feel as bad about it. It was nice to be needed and to have someone care for him like he cared for them. Joel wasn’t used to something like that. Everything always felt one sided in his life. No matter who it was with. With Negan and Y/N, it felt like they both cared for him and it felt nice to have that.

“Are you falling in love with me Professor?” Negan’s deep voice filled the air when his eyes partially opened and he saw Joel watching him while he slept. Joel let out an embarrassed sound and Negan snorted. “I’m just screwing with you, you know that?”

“I’m just worried about you,” Joel confessed knowing that his worries about Negan had intensified lately.

“Don’t worry about me, I don’t deserve your concern,” Negan suggested with a frown hating that anyone would lose time over him.

“You worry about the people you care about Negan,” Joel snorted and it caused Negan’s fingers to squeeze tighter around his. The look in Negan’s eyes wasn’t quite readable, but Joel knew that Negan was sad. “I have a proposition for you.”

“Is it sexual?” Negan joked again and he caught the glare that Joel was giving him. When he realized it was something that was serious, his arrogant smile slowly faded and he nodded. “What is it?”

“I don’t know what you have been seeing on the news since you are stuck in that hospital,” Joel began, seeing Negan’s eyes open further while he listened to him. “Things aren’t good right now. I was thinking, I have this cabin…it’s in upstate New York.”

“Yeah?” Negan could see that Joel was thinking something in depth out in his head.

“I want to take you, Lucille and Y/N there,” Joel announced with a loud swallow and Negan shifted on the seat beside Joel. “I don’t think things are safe here right now. You saw what happened in the hospital the other day. We don’t even know what happened.”

“But Lucille…” Negan started confused as to how that would work.

“We could get her the best hospice,” Joel stammered and the mention of hospice obviously hit Negan hard. There was an expression that flooded through Negan’s face and Joel hated to make him uncomfortable mentioning it, but he didn’t want to leave Negan behind or in a place where he could get hurt. “I would pay for her to have the best care possible. The cabin is stocked and there is enough room for everyone. I’ll pay for them to help transfer her there…”

“I don’t know if that would work Joel,” Negan shook his head and thought about the way Lucille had been lately. He didn’t even know if she would be able to make that kind of trip right now. “It sounds nice…fucking amazing actually, but…”

“I have a horrible feeling Negan. I’ve been watching the news a lot lately and things are scary right now,” Joel continued to vent his worries while he felt Negan’s hand squeezing tightly around his. “I don’t want anything bad to happen to you or Y/N. I want to keep the both of you safe, you know? You’re both very important to me and…”

“Hey, everything is fine,” Negan tried to assure Joel, reaching out to force Joel to look at him. “The news is there to scare the hell out of us Joel. They do that. They put these stories on there to scare us. That guy in the hospital the other day was probably attacked by an animal hunting or something. With people being sick it’s probably just a really bad flu…”

“Negan come on…” Joel knew that this was different than what was normal. “Let me do this. My cabin is secluded. We would be safe until things calmed down. There is one of the best hospitals in the world not far away if something happened to Lucille.”

“Joel, you worry too much,” Negan insisted with a shake of his head. “Everything is going to be okay.”

Joel dropped his head back dramatically and it was clear that he was genuinely concerned about everything. Negan outstretched his free hand and pressed it in over Joel’s face urging Joel to look at him, “You are a way better man than I could have ever wished to be.”

“I have no idea why you are saying that,” Joel shook his head and Negan tilted his head to the side giving Joel an expecting glance.

“You have taken care of Y/N better than I could have ever hoped to have done,” Negan confessed, his voice coming out rasp as he thought about his previous relationship with Y/N and how he had treated her. “You were the best thing that could have ever happened for her. You’re the kind of man that she deserves.”

“Are you...are you okay with us being together?” Joel cleared his throat, his brow line creasing when he thought about how he was engaged to Y/N. They hadn’t told Negan about it and he wondered if Negan would handle it well if he actually found out.

“There is only one person in this world I’m okay with her being with and that’s you,” Negan admitted, tapping Joel on the side of the face. “You’re an amazing man with a big fucking heart. We’re all fucking small when it comes to you.”

“I really wish you would consider what I’m offering you with the cabin,” Joel repeated and he heard Negan sigh. Negan closed the distance between the two of them and Joel felt Negan pressing a kiss over the side of his face. “Negan…”

“Relax,” Negan ordered when he could feel the tension in Joel’s body with how close they were. “You don’t always have to have your guard up around me. We’re far beyond that, don’t you think?”

“I’m…” Joel went to speak only to feel Negan kissing at his bottom lip and Joel let out a nervous sound. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just shut up,” Negan grunted and curled his fingers around the back of Joel’s neck to bring him closer.

Slowly, Negan deposited kiss after kiss over the side of Joel’s face drawing closer to Joel’s lips. It caused Joel’s breathing to get heavy and a proud smile expanded over Negan’s features. Finally, Negan’s lips collided with Joel’s and he desperately kissed at the man he had grown to care for. Negan’s rough palms held onto Joel’s face while he kissed him and Negan could feel Joel gradually opening up to the kiss and begin kissing him back.

“See, not so bad…” Negan breathed out, reaching up to grab a handful of Joel’s messy hair while growling against Joel’s bottom lip. “One day you are going to realize how much you truly like me Joel Baker.”

“One day,” Joel snickered looking away from Negan and Negan gave him an odd expression. “I’ve been sitting here telling you that I want to take care of both you and Y/N.”

“I guess I should say one day I’ll realize how lucky I actually was to have someone like you in my life,” Negan nuzzled his nose against Joel’s and let out a long, shuddering exhale. “I wish the three of us could have had something so much more than we did.”

Drawing in closer Joel again, Negan attempted to kiss Joel only to hear the sound of tires squealing followed by the sound of a loud crashing sound. It caused Joel to pull his mouth away with a nervous breath. They both lifted their heads to see that there was a crash at the corner of the road by the hospital where the light was.

“Jesus Christ,” Negan pulled himself up and Joel did the same. “That looks bad.”

“Negan,” Joel called out when Negan got out of the car immediately and moved toward the accident that happened.

Negan noticed a woman in one of the cars bleeding from the head as he approached the accident. The car had started to smoke and Negan quickly got to the car to open the driver’s door, “Joel, help me!”

“I’m here,” Joel helped Negan pull the woman from the car as a fire started. They both managed to get the woman to a safe spot on the grass. Negan watched Joel pull his button-down shirt from his body and roll it up to put under the woman’s neck to keep her head elevated. Joel still had on gray Henley shirt that Negan imagined may get covered in blood if Joel still tended to the woman.

“Let me make sure no one else is in the car,” Negan pat Joel on the shoulder and checked to make sure the car was empty before looking to the other car that seemed to have caused the accident. There was a man slouched over the wheel and Negan went to go check on the man. Opening the door, Negan noticed the man wasn’t moving and he reached out to place his fingers over the side of the man’s neck to see if he felt a pulse. When he didn’t, he let out a nervous sound and stepped back. “Damn.”

“Is he okay?” Joel called out from where he was helping the woman. Negan looked to Joel to answer and a moment later he felt the force of someone knocking him to the hard cement making him let out a pained sound. Swiftly turning onto his back, he watched the man that was in the car lunge at him making him let out a strained sound.

“What the fuck?!” Negan braced his palms in over the center of the man’s chest that he thought he had just felt no pulse on. The man who had caused the accident seemed to be desperately trying to attack Negan, but Negan used his strength to keep the man over him. There was a strange growling coming from the man and he was snapping his jaws as if he was trying to bite Negan. “Get the fuck off of me.”

“Get off of him,” Negan heard Joel’s southern drawl fill the air and the man was swiftly pulled away from Negan. Joel used his power to shove the man across the road, causing the man to topple over backwards and Joel reached for Negan to help him up. Almost immediately, Joel seemed to place himself in front of Negan in a protective stance and Negan let out a winded breath.

“What the fuck?” Negan snapped, looking to his palms that had been scraped up by the cement during his fall.

“Stay back,” Joel warned when he saw the man that attempted to attack Negan slowly getting up on the other side of the road. Raising his hand in a warning, Joel hoped that the man would take a hint. “You try that again and I will knock you on your ass.”

“Fuck that, I’ll kill that son of a bitch,” Negan snapped, his blood boiling at the fact that the man had tried to attack him when Negan was just trying to help. Negan went to lunge forward at the man hearing him growling. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Negan!” Joel called out and Negan felt Joel grabbing him so fast that they fell backwards onto the cement when another car plowed through, managing to hit the man that had ran forward to attempt to attack Negan and Joel. Negan lifted his head, realizing that Joel had just saved him from getting hit by a car. “Are you okay?”

Negan was lost for words when he realized what had just happened. His heart was hammering in his chest from the rush of adrenaline and he couldn’t believe he just saw that guy plowed down by another car. Joel’s hand pressed in over the side of Negan’s face, urging him to try and look at him, “Negan? Are you alright? Talk to me.”

Negan didn’t say anything, just nodded with a shocked expression while Joel managed to help them up from the cement where they had both just fallen just out of reach from the car that almost hit him as well as the guy it actually took out.  

“You just saved my life,” Negan acknowledged when Joel pulled him up and dragged him toward the side of the road. “Jesus fuck, you just saved my life. My fucking God.”

“Are you okay?” Joel inquired, his green-hazel eyes looking Negan over as he reached out to touch over the side of Negan’s face to survey him. “Do you believe me now that things feel fucking strange? This is not normal Negan.”

Negan looked beyond them to see that people were now helping the woman and he back stepped away from the scene. A few people had surrounded the man that had been hit by the car, but they were people who showed up after it had happened. Negan was shaken up and not in a good way, “When were you thinking about going to the cabin?”

“What about Friday? Will that give you enough time to gather some things?” Joel took notice of the anger that seemed to be flooding people lately. This was exactly the kind of thing that he was worried about.

“Friday is good,” Negan agreed, moving back toward the car again not knowing if he wanted to stick around to talk to anyone about what just happened. Hopefully no one saw the interaction him and Joel had with the man. Rather just the fact they had helped the woman out of her car. Negan couldn’t spend his whole day out here when Lucille needed him. “There was something wrong with that guy Joel.”

“He was an asshole,” Joel pointed out with a frustrated grunt. “They said people were rioting for no reason. He clearly caused the accident and he was just out to hurt anyone that he could. Including you.”

“No, I mean beyond being an asshole,” Negan remembered the look on the guy’s face while he was trying to attack him. “He had fucking weird eyes.”

“But you’re okay, right?” Joel reached out to look at Negan again and Negan pulled his face away from Joel with a laugh. “I’m just making sure.”

“Yes, you saved my life. I’m fine,” Negan stammered with a nervous sound, looking at the time. “I need to get back in there before Lucille gets back. You said Friday, right?”

“Friday,” Joel agreed with a simple nod, seeing Negan reaching for his pocket to make sure the money was there still was.

“Take it easy until then Professor. Keep me updated,” Negan watched Joel step forward to give him his phone and Negan put it back in his pocket. He went to Joel’s car to get the coffee that Joel had brought for him before clearing his throat. “That was fucked up. I tell you that.”

“No kidding,” Joel grunted, looking toward the scene seeing that the police had now shown up. “I don’t know…”

A moment of silence fell between them as Negan moved before him and reached out with his free hand to squeeze at his shoulder, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Joel nodded and felt Negan pat at the center of his chest. “Negan…just, be careful okay?”

“That was just a unique event Joel,” Negan tried to suggest, swallowing down hard. “We’ll be fine.”

“A unique that made you agree to come with me,” Joel pointed out and honestly Negan didn’t want to confess that scared the shit out of him. Hell, it was so fucked up, but he just wanted to believe that was a single event of a random asshole causing something. “I’m taking you guys Friday Negan, I’m serious.”

“I’m fucking serious too,” Negan stated with a grunt. “We’ll try to have everything ready by Friday. I’ll keep you updated on everything.”

Joel watched Negan quickly head back into the hospital and Joel could feel his heart hammering inside of his chest. What just happened was one of the craziest things he had ever seen happen in his life. Getting back in his car, he locked the doors once he was in and grasped tightly to the wheel.

It took a minute for things to settle down when he realized that Negan almost died the same exact way his daughter had in the past. The thought of that lingered in his mind and he was shaken up. In that moment with Negan Joel was able to do the one thing that he couldn’t do with his daughter which was save someone he cared about.

That really hit him hard when he thought about the idea of almost losing another person he cared about the same way that his daughter had died all those years ago. With everything that was going on around them, Joel realized that he never wanted to lose another person he cared about again and he would do whatever he had to in order to keep those he loved alive.

---

Blinking a few times, Y/N found herself laying wide awake in bed. She had woken up early and found herself having a hard time falling back asleep. It had been a hard two days since Joel had come back and told her what happened with Negan. Her thoughts were eating away at her with the idea of everything that took place between Joel and Negan that day. She hadn’t talked to Negan other than through text and she thought about how desperate Joel was to take all of them away to the cabin. Everything seemed tense in the moment and she had a hard time focusing on sleeping with how busy her mind was.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw Joel actually sleeping for once. After he had saved Negan from almost getting hit by a car, it had brought back a lot of memories of Joel’s daughter for him. Things that he thought he had gotten over, but when he saved Negan they had come back up. It got Joel emotional the day it happened that he was able to save Negan, but at the same time it was clear that he was still extremely shaken up by the idea of everything that had happened. Clearly it had bothered Negan too since Negan agreed to go to the cabin with them.

With the nervousness that Joel had, it had put a hold on the things that they had been working to build. Joel was attempting to make a room for the baby in the house and it was turning around to be a beautiful nursey, but after the events of what happened to Joel and Negan, he was eager to get the supplies for them to leave. Joel had gotten a new SUV so that way he had enough space for everyone to fit in it if need be and he convinced her after everything was over, it would be good for them to have with the baby.

They hadn’t really heard much more about the riots going on, but she was certain that if this was what Joel wanted to do, it was best for them to do it. If both Negan and Joel were nervous enough to agree to go to the cabin, then what they saw that day had to be pretty damn serious.

Shifting on her side, she stared out at Joel and noticed his eyes partially open when she moved. Leaning in, she pressed a loving kiss over his lips and heard him let out a hum of appreciation as she stroked the side of his face, “I love you.”

“I love you too sweetheart,” Joel responded, cuddling up closer on the bed near her as she brushed her fingers through his short beard. It took her a while before she realized she wasn’t going to fall asleep.

Her mind was filled with thoughts of Negan, Lucille, her parents and everything that she had known was taking place around them. She never got a response about her parents and that worried her. Then again, she assumed her parents may have just written her off completely, so she shouldn’t have been worried. It just lingered.

Managing to carefully pull herself out of bed without waking up Joel, Y/N reached for her phone and moved carefully out of the bedroom. Closing the door behind her, she walked down the hallway to stop inside of the nursey that Joel had been making. The sight of the crib that Joel had put together took her breath away. Joel was so amazing at taking care of them and doing everything he could to help her through her pregnancy. This room was gorgeous and she hoped that they would be able to put it to good use when the baby finally arrived.

Stepping toward the crib, she reached for the stuffed animal that was already inside of it. It was the first thing Negan had ever given her when he considered them going on their ‘first date’. It was way back when she went with her father and Negan to the baseball game. When Negan had given it to her then, she loved it, but thought it was rather silly. Now after everything that happened, she thought it would be best to give the stuffed mascot to the baby. It was something the baby’s father gave her in what she viewed to be a sweet moment.

In the corner of the room, there was a rocking chair that had the giant teddy bear that Negan had also gotten her on her birthday. Both stuffed animals were things that Negan had gotten her in hopes of making her happy. The teddy bear hurt for a while to look at during her relationship with Negan because it was a reminder of the pain he had put her through with her birthday, but after looking back at everything…it was easy to get over now. She didn’t want to be mad or angry with Negan anymore.

Setting the small stuffed animal back into the crib, she moved over toward the rocking chair and pulled the oversized bear into her arms. There was a sense of guilt that filled her body knowing that Negan had yet to know that she was pregnant with his child. So many times she could have told him, but she let her fear and nervousness get in the way. The world just wasn’t working with the two of them, but he needed to know. Especially if they were going to be living together.

The nursery reminded her all over again with the small things how much her heart truly belonged to both Negan and Joel. Joel completely gave up one of his rooms to make this room for the baby. It was sweet and there were personal details that Joel put in that made her swoon. Joel got prepared quite early for the baby and his excitement about everything made her excited. Originally, she hadn’t felt that excitement for the baby with how Negan made her feel about things, but with how happy Joel was about everything drew her to also be excited.

While she was still worried about the unknown, Joel had done a good job in making her realize that this baby was special. It wasn’t something bad or a mistake that Negan had made her think it was for quite some time. She just hoped when Negan truly found out that he would agree with her.

While she knew it was a good idea to probably head back to bed with Joel and get some rest, she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Getting up from the rocking chair she moved down the stairs after putting the bear back and stepped out into the backyard. The sun had just started to rise and she walked out by the water. The cool brisk air caused her to shudder while she stared out at the water. Everything had felt perfect with Joel and really, it was. She loved him and there was no doubt of that, but she did feel like there was a piece of her missing with Negan not involved in this baby’s life…or honestly hers.

It was nice knowing that Joel thought so highly of Negan as well. Things were so much less complicated that way and it made her feel blessed that she didn’t have to go through all the stress of having a new, jealous boyfriend. Even though it felt uncomfortable at the time, it seemed like Negan persuading them to be a trio couple really actually made all of their relationships in general, better.

The sound of her phone ringing was heard and it jolted her heart since it was completely silent in the area around her. With the rhythmic sounds of the water splashing, she had gotten lost in the moment so it caused her to fumble for her phone. Looking at the name of the person calling her, she felt her throat go dry and eagerly answered.

“Hello?” she let out a long sigh, rubbing her free hand over her bare shoulder attempting to warm herself up.

“Hey beautiful. I was worried that you would still be sleeping,” Negan’s voice spoke over the phone and she closed her eyes, thankful to hear his deep, raspy voice on the other end. “I was originally planning on leaving you a message.”

“I can hang up and let you call again if you’d like,” she teased and heard his tired laugh on the other end.

“No, I would rather talk to you. The sound of your voice is the first comforting thing I’ve had in a few days,” Negan explained and she could tell by the sound of his voice that he was exhausted. She was hoping by getting him to come to the cabin with her and Joel that he would finally be able to sleep. With Joel and her at the cabin, Negan wouldn’t have to be the only person that would be with Lucille. “Actually, I have a request…”

“What’s that?” she retorted, shifting on her feet while she talked to him.

“Video chat me. I need to see your face,” Negan begged and she let out a hesitant laugh. “Please?”

“I just got out of bed Negan, I’m in my pajamas,” she informed him looking down at herself knowing she was in something comfortable. At this point in her pregnancy, there was no reason to even try to dress sexy. Being comfortable was the better option so she was wearing one of Joel’s shirts that was ridiculously too big for her.

“And I haven’t showered in days,” Negan reminded her with a grunt. “I look like a hobo.”

“I’m sure you look fine,” she insisted and Negan snorted at her response. Sure, the last time she had seen him he looked a bit rundown, but Negan always looked good. “If that’s what you want though…”

“It is,” Negan insisted and it took a minute before they got things to work. Negan’s video was a bit fuzzy, but she could tell that he was sitting in the hospital room. “The connection isn’t the best here, but Lucille is gone for a test and I just…I wanted to see you. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

“You’re going to be seeing me soon,” Y/N reminded him as she moved over toward one of the lounging chairs that Joel had out by the water. Dropping down in it, she could see that Negan did look worn out. “Friday…”

“I wanted to talk to you about that,” Negan spoke up, clearing his throat while he got more comfortable in the chair he had been seated in for what felt like weeks. “Are you going to be okay with this? Living with Lucille and me? I know Joel is okay with it since he’s pretty much the one that convinced me to do it and I’m sure at this point in her life, the fresh air could be good for Lucille, but…”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay with it Negan?” she reached up to brush her hair behind her ear.

“Lucille isn’t going to last much longer Y/N,” Negan informed her with a firm nod. “I keep praying that something will get better. That I will get a miracle, but…I just see my girl fading more and more each day. Getting her out of this hospital so she can be at a place that makes her comfortable would be better for her, but…if we do this, you are going to have to put up with that.”

“I’m fully prepared to help both of you through whatever you need,” she promised, knowing that like Joel she needed to know that the both of them were going to be okay. “I love you Negan.”

“And I love you,” Negan repeated with an honest sigh. “So fucking much which is why I need to be sure that me being there is not going to fuck up things for you and Joel.”

“What do you mean?” she tilted her head to the side and watched Negan slide his palm down over the front of his face.

“I mean, you have the best possible man you could ever be with right there with you,” Negan admitted, knowing that Joel was twice the man he could have ever been. Joel was perfect and Negan wished he was more like him, but he knew he would never be. “I can’t come there knowing that I might mess up what the two of you have together.”

“Negan, we both love you…” Y/N reasoned with Negan and Negan smirked before nodding. “I heard what he did with saving you. He came home really upset.”

“He was upset?” Negan’s right eyebrow perked up and she bit down firmly on her bottom lip. “Why?”

“Negan, his daughter died getting hit by a car,” Y/N reminded him and she watched Negan’s face turn pale when she said that. “The idea of almost losing you from getting hit by a car really fucked him up. It made him think about his daughter and how he wasn’t there to save her.”

“But he was there to save me,” Negan muttered to himself, thinking about what had happened with Joel that day. It made him feel like shit that he didn’t realize that earlier. “You have a hero there on your hands and not just in the saving me from getting plowed down by a car. He just…he gives me faith in humanity. Something I never thought I would ever have.”

“So, you like him too, huh?” Y/N stated when she could see the expression that Negan had when she talked about Joel.

“It’s hard not to. He’s probably better than all of us,” Negan reasoned with her and she nodded. She felt blessed to have Joel in her life. There was so much good to him that he didn’t feel real sometimes. “I just need to know that being there with the two of you won’t ruin things.”

“Considering we’re both worried about you, I think it will make things easier,” she confessed, looking down toward her abdomen and she swallowed hard. “Actually, there is something I really need to tell you when I see you. Something that will prove that all four of us should really be together.”

“Oh?” Negan leaned his head back and yawned. “How about you tell me tomorrow? Tomorrow is Thursday, we are leaving on Friday…I’d like to look at our house. I know this is a weird time to put this on you, but I was thinking of probably getting our things out of that house. You and I can pick what we want to take with us to the cabin. Only the important things. Then I will get our stuff put away into storage together until we know what we need to do with it. Plus, I can get in a shower. I need one of those before we go. Lucille’s friend is supposed to come here for an hour or two. We can be quick, get what we need…I can get that shower in so I’m bearable on the drive up. You can tell me then.”

“You’re ready to get rid of the house, huh?” she felt her throat go dry and what Negan was admitting to her. She knew it would happen eventually but losing the house would be taking a lot of memories with it.

“Joel shouldn’t have to pay for a house that is just sitting there,” Negan stammered, seeing that her expression seemed disappointed when she said what he did. “Why does that make you upset?”

“It’s just…where we had our start, you know?” she reminded him and Negan half smiled, his tired eyes looking away from the phone for a moment. “So many important things happened there for us.”

“Our memories aren’t held together by a house,” Negan’s voice was quiet when he began to respond to her, “Our memories live on in our hearts. They continue to live on within ourselves as long as we open ourselves up to them.”

“That was exceedingly deep for you Negan,” she chuckled when her eyes teared over and she reached up to wipe at her face. “I’m just sentimental I guess.”

“Y/N, we’re going to be living together again. We can keep making memories together,” Negan pointed out, his own eyes tearing over when he stared out at her. “Just right now…I have to focus on Lucille and making things as special for her as I can.”

“I know that,” she agreed with him and sighed. “I want that for her too. She deserves to be happy. I wish this all wasn’t happening to her.”

“Me too,” Negan admitted with a pained breath knowing that he was trying to get through this without crying about what was happening to him. “Just meet me tomorrow at the house. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” she couldn’t deny him. Not now. “I’ll be there.”

“Good,” Negan bit at his bottom lip and reached up to brush his long fingers through his messy hair. “Y/N, I really…really have missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” she replied, tipping her head to the side when she could see that Negan was getting emotional with her.

“I love you, so much,” Negan muttered with a tremoring breath. “I hope you know that. After everything, I wish I could have been the man that made you happy like Joel does. I know you love me; you will always love me and I will always love you. I just…I need you to know before anything happens in my life to potentially change me—I have always and I will always love you. You’re the one person that made me want to be more. I just wish that I could have been that man that could be what you needed.”

“You were always what I needed Negan,” she lowered her gaze from the phone knowing that she was close to crying over what he said and she attempted to stop herself. “I would have done anything for you. I love you too.”

“Well, I’m glad that’s out there,” Negan smirked, reaching up to wipe at his face with the back of his hand. “At least we can still love each other still knowing that I belong with Lucille and you belong with Joel.”

“Right,” she nodded, feeling her heart hammering inside her chest when she could see a single tear sliding down Negan’s face. “Do you want to wait until tomorrow?”

“I have to,” Negan breathed out in a long shallow exhale. “But tomorrow. Meet me at our house at noon. Okay? We’ll talk then.”

“Sounds good,” she agreed, straightening up her posture in the seat she was in. “I’ll see you then.”

“I love you Y/N,” Negan brought his hand to his lips and blew her a kiss and she smiled involuntarily.

“I love you too,” she watched him give a single nod before the call ended. Lowering her phone back to her lap she felt the world spinning around her. There was something in the way that Negan talked to her that told her he felt like he was going to fall apart when Lucille died. It broke her that they even had to think like that.

The sound of barking pulled her from her thoughts when she looked over her shoulder to see Ghost running to her in the long length of Joel’s backyard. Laughing when he hopped into her lap on the lounge chair, she hugged the dog in her arms tightly and felt him licking her face from the obvious salty taste that her tears left. “Hey you…”

“I’m a bit jealous,” Joel’s deep southern voice filled the air and she looked back to see Joel walking down the backyard in his boxers. Joel reached down for Ghost’s ball and tossed it into the water. Ghost excitedly jumped out of her arms and into the water with a loud splash making the both of them smile. “I was hoping to get the first kiss this morning and he beat me to it.”

“Hey, you,” she slightly smiled, wiping at her face to try and hide that she was upset. The moment Joel saw her, he could tell something was wrong and she knew it. Joel knew her better than anyone.

“Morning beautiful,” Joel leaned down and she lifted up enough to meet him in a quick kiss, her palm sliding in over the side of his face. Joel pulled away, a confused expression over his face when he looked her over. “Everything okay?”

“Perfect,” she lied and scoot forward in the lounging chair, urging him to sit behind her. Joel did as she asked and sat down. When he was there comfortably, she leaned back into his chest and felt his muscular arms wrapping around her tightly. Linking her fingers with his, she felt Joel kissing her temple while they both stretched out on the chair.

“Don’t lie to me,” Joel muttered against her skin making her let out a heavy breath. “Talk to me.”

“You’re something else,” she cuddled in closer to him and held him closer to her. The warmth of him felt great in comparison to the coolness that had been surrounding her before. “I love you, you’re a good man.”

“Mhmm,” Joel pressed a loving kiss against the side of her face and rocked her in his arms while they watched Ghost pulling himself out of the water with the ball. Ghost came over beside them and dropped down watching the sunrise with them. “Now what’s up?”

“I was on the phone with Negan,” she couldn’t lie to him, so it was best to be honest with him. “He just said some things that got me…about us, about him.”

“Ah, well I reckon that makes sense then,” Joel seemed to be okay with what she said and she looked over her shoulder at him flustered. “I thought something was really wrong.”

“Most people wouldn’t be okay with their fiancée crying over their ex,” she pointed out again and she knew that they had talked about this previously, but she was so blown away by it. “Aren’t you at least jealous sometimes?”

“Of course I’m jealous. Negan just oozes sex appeal,” Joel acknowledged, clearing his throat when he thought about Negan. “I was so fucking shy, I hated getting into relationships. I wasn’t good with people, but Negan is so fucking confident. I wish I had some of that.”

“I like your shyness,” she squeezed her hands around his arm, feeling him nuzzling his nose against the side of her head. “It’s actually nice to have you not be like Negan.”

“But could you imagine having that kind of confidence? Heck, I can’t recall other than when I was a teenager ever having that kind of confidence,” Joel thought back to when he was young wondering if he was ever even that sure of himself.

“You kind of just answered your question. Negan kind of has a high schoolish personality,” Y/N retorted with a nervous sound knowing that Negan’s version of humor was always much younger and more immature than his age.

“Yeah, but he’s hot and he knows it and the way he has sex…” Joel began watching Y/N shift in his arms when she looked up at him. “You had sex with him when we were together. I saw the way he was with you. He just…knows what he’s doing. The man is incredible at reading people. Knowing what they like, knowing what to do to just make them fucking explode.”

“Uh huh,” she gave him a strange expression and Joel tilted his head to the side. “You shouldn’t be jealous of the way he has sex.”

“Why’s that?” Joel grunted, squeezing his arms around her tighter.

“Because I like sex with you just as much,” she heard Joel laugh and she shook her head. “I’m serious Joel. Sex with you is incredible. It’s not just sex, it’s love making with you. When you have that connection with something and you both are both so close on a personal level that’s something amazing. Negan did his best to make love to me a few times, but it’s nothing like the way you do it. While yes, with Negan, everyone enjoys raw fucking sometimes…”

“Well now,” Joel cleared his throat and laughed which caused her to shudder when his breath tickled down her spine.

“There are just times when a woman…or a man…needs to be made love to,” she thought about the times she had been with Joel. They weren’t sleeping together as much as she did with Negan, but her relationship with Joel was built on so much more than just sex. Unlike her relationship with Negan which focused on sex quite heavily throughout most of it. “And I’ve never felt so…loved than I do when I’m with you.”

“And here I was panicking,” Joel grumbled, while he held her closer to him. “I don’t know what your favorite position is. I don’t know what you like the most.”

“I just kind of do whatever someone else likes. That was kind of my relationship with Negan,” she recalled her relationship with Negan. “You were there. Negan just kind of controlled everything. He had an idea and he just went ahead with it.”

“Yeah, but you have to have a favorite,” Joel pointed out, getting more comfortable with her on the chair.

“What’s your favorite?” she lifted her head to look up at Joel and he rolled his eyes. “See, you don’t even know.”

“I just like being with you…” Joel explained and she held her hand up in the air.

“Yeah, but you cum harder when you’re being dominated,” she simply muttered making Joel choke when she said that before laughing. “I’m just saying…”

“I can tell you were dating Negan for a while,” Joel chuckled against the side of her neck, pressing a soft kiss against her flesh. “I’m not as open about sex and being as sexual as he is.”

“And you shouldn’t be. You could be just like him if you wanted to be, but I’m glad you’re not,” she admitted with a loud sigh. “I like you just the way you are.”

“There is one thing I’m kind of jealous of, on a serious level,” Joel let there be a silence between them for a moment before shifting behind her. “I wish I would have met you first.”

“Why is that?” she rest her head back somewhat to stare into his bright eyes.

“Because then you’d never have to worry like you do,” Joel stammered, reaching up to trace over her face. The delicate caress of his fingers caused a chill to run down her spine. The way Joel always looked at her was so enchanting. “You would have never had to experience the pain you have and you’d know my love is one hundred percent genuine.”

“I know that it is,” Y/N leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. That was one thing she knew. Joel was extremely genuine.

“Y/N…do you want to be engaged to me?” Joel interrupted their almost playful discussion making her sit up straight and look back over her shoulder at him. “With us being with Negan, he’s going to find out that we’re engaged. Are you…are you okay with that? If you aren’t and you’d rather be with him…”

“Negan is not the marrying type,” she denied Joel that answer and turned to face him in the chair so she could caress over the side of his face. “I don’t care if we’re living with Negan. I want to be married to you. You are the most amazing man I’ve ever known. You fight for those you love and I’ve never felt as safe as I do when I’m with you. I love you…so much.”

“I just know Negan…” Joel tried to reason and she hushed him, sliding her finger in over his lips to hush him.

“Negan is not better than you,” she insisted with an uncomfortable exhale. “That’s what is so sexy about you too Joel. You think about someone other than yourself. I was always so worried about how I was with Negan. Was I kissing him right? Was I performing sexually well enough to keep him around?”

“I think we all worry about those kinds of things,” Joel shrugged and realized that he was just very self-conscious about things so he assumed everyone was that way.

“Let me ask you this…if you could change one thing about me to make me more appealing, what would it be?” she reached out to cup his squared jaw in her hands, caressing her thumbs over the short beard covering his face. “Like my clothing choices…being dirtier in bed…”

“Why would I want to change something? You are who you are and what you are is perfect,” Joel interrupted her, his nose wrinkling when he reached up to palm in over the side of her neck. “If you are going to love someone, you need to love them the way they are. Accept them for how they are…”

“There is always something that could be changed,” she thought back to things that Negan had changed about her when they had started seeing each other. Negan had changed the way she had dressed. He urged her to wear a sexier lingerie and trained her in the things that he liked and to talk to ‘sexier’. “Everyone would prefer something more…something different.”

“You are perfect. We’ve already gone over this though,” Joel hushed her, reaching out to brush her hair from her eyes. Joel smirked and looked to Ghost who was lying beside them on the grass with the ball he had just retrieved from the water. “I know you don’t believe it, but you’re amazing. There isn’t a thing about you that I would change. I like you, just the way you are. You never have to change for me.”

“Fuck…” she released a long breath of air and saw the amused expression that Joel gave her. While Negan was amazing with her and obviously loved her, he changed her so much by the time that they had finally gotten together. With Joel, Y/N was completely unfiltered, was a total mess and yet…Joel still loved her. “And that…that’s why I want to be with you. Not Negan. I’m a mess and you just…love me for me.”

“Of course I do,” Joel leaned up to meet her in a desperate kiss.

“I would never question getting married to you when you make me feel…so loved,” she nibbled at Joel’s bottom lip hearing him hum with approval before grunting when she nipped a bit harder at his flesh. “We love Negan and he can be with us, but…you are the man I want to be married to. Don’t even doubt that.”

“Yeah?” Joel confirmed and she nodded desperately grabbing at the sides of his face. Y/N moved in to kiss Joel over and over again.

“When I think of perfection, I picture you,” she slid her hands up his chest, tracing over the hard muscle beneath her touch. “You have the most beautiful chest and arms I’ve ever seen…”

“You’ve said that once or twice,” Joel reminded her, watching her dip down to deposit wet kisses over his chest. Joel felt the lump in his throat growing while she caressed over his body with her wet mouth.

“You’re sassy, but within reason,” she nipped at his flesh and heard him growl when she did it. “Yet you remain to be the most loving, kind, forgiving, understanding man I’ve ever known. You’re my best friend, you know me more than I know myself…”

“Hey,” Joel reached for her face to cup it softly in his hand to meet her expression with his green-hazel eyes. “You don’t have to say all of this.”

“It’s true. There is so much about me that needs work, but with you I feel better. With you, I feel as close to perfect as I can get Joel. I love you and I want to be married to you. Having Negan in our lives is not going to change that,” Y/N knew that she truly felt that way. Having Negan there would complete that empty feeling she had, but Joel made her feel full and happy. Crawling carefully in over Joel’s lap, she reached for the bottom of his shirt she was wearing and pulled it up her body. Tossing the material beside them, she saw Joel’s eyes get wide at her bold movement. “You’re amazing.”

“Wow,” Joel swallowed down hard and she was in awe of the way the green in his hazel eyes sparkled with the sunrise in them. He was shocked with her brave move, but still slid his rough palms in over the sides of her body causing her to tremor.

“You need to learn how to relax,” she instructed reaching for his hands so he could grasp over her breasts and palm them in his tender caress. “That’s the only thing you could probably learn from Negan.”

“You want me to relax while we’re in my backyard and you’re topless over me?” Joel snickered and she teased her fingers through the dark hair covering his chest. Looking beside them, Joel saw Ghost asleep and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Should we…should we be doing this in front of the dog?”

“You’re too much,” she laughed, leaning forward to press a wet kiss over his lips and he moaned into her mouth when she ground her hips into his. “I think the dog is going to be fine.”

“He’s like a child; he shouldn’t have to see this…” Joel’s hands settled in over her hips and his response made Y/N laugh again.

“He’s seen worse,” she assured him with a firm expression that still resembled her cracking up to his nervousness of having sex around the dog. “He’s sleeping though, so if you’re quiet, I’m sure everything will be okay.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel’s southern tone filled the air and Y/N smirked. Tugging the material of Joel’s boxers down his body he helped lift his hips up for her so she could pull the material from his body. Dropping it by the shirt she discarded, she could see Joel look around to make sure they were the only ones out. The muscles in Joel’s thighs flexed when she leaned forward to caress over them making him let out a tense breath.

“The way you look at me,” she moved in over Joel and saw the absolute adoration he had for her, “It’s incredible.”

“You’re incredible,” he whispered, sliding his hands up over the small of her back and toward her shoulders before one of his hands hooked around the back of her neck to carefully pull her in closer to him so he could kiss her. A muted groan fell from his throat when her body lowered down over his and she desperately wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “God, you’re beautiful.”

“Sometimes I don’t think I deserve you,” she kissed over the side of neck while softly rolling her hips over his time and time again. Joel’s soft moans were like music to her ears while she grasped tightly to his thick hair. “I worry that I’m the Negan in our relationship.”

“Oh, no…” Joel smiled, pulling his head back slightly to look up at her. “Negan doesn’t have breasts like yours…he could never be you.”

“Jesus Joel,” she laughed falling forward, her forehead pressing against his when he cracked a joke. That was one thing Joel had with her. During sex, Negan was so fucking serious and in the moment. Whereas with Joel they could laugh, talk and enjoy each other.

“I’m just being honest,” he chuckled meeting her lips in a desperate kiss while his hands settled in over her hips to help her rock her body over his and moaned against her mouth. “You’re the one that saved me Y/N. Not the other way around. You mean so much to me and I can’t picture a life without you in it.”

“You’re so sweet,” she pulled him back to her so she could kiss him.

“You know, Negan could still marry both of us,” Joel dropped his head back against the chair, looking down between them while she moved over him. “Well…not marry us, but he can get me one of those nifty promise rings and…”

“Shut up,” she chuckled, reaching back to brace her hands over his thighs and he kept a firm hold of her to help aid in her movements. “I forget what a sarcastic shit you are sometimes.”

“Now I can’t stop picturing Negan with tits,” Joel grumbled with a snort of a laugh making her laugh again. Her hand reached out to playfully smack at the side of his face and Joel reached out to pull her in closer to him. She rest her jaw over his shoulder while he kissed at the side of her neck over and over again. “All jokes aside…God, I love you.”

“I love you too,” she breathed knowing that Joel made her feel special and she was so glad that he was the person she would be going through everything with.

----

“Hey beautiful,” Negan lifted his head from his phone when they started wheeling Lucille back into the hospital room. Lucille offered up a weak smile when Negan got up from where he was sitting and helped the nurse return Lucille where she was supposed to be. “I was looking forward to seeing your face.”

“You’re silly,” Lucille reached out to press her hand in over the side of Negan’s face. “Shouldn’t you be getting things done before Friday?”

“I’ve been working on them. I’m going to finish things tomorrow,” Negan assured her with a wink knowing that he had already explained everything to her about where they were going. Lucille didn’t disagree with him that it would be for the best. He knew that she was sick of being in the hospital too. Joel had sent him the information on the hospital that was by the cabin they were apparently going to and Joel was right when he said it was one of the top hospitals in the country. So, if something happened while they were there, they weren’t far away from good people that could help Lucille. “You doing okay?”

“Just really tired,” she weakly muttered and Negan moved in closer to the bed, stroking his palm in over her forehead. “And dizzy.”

“Well pretty soon we’re going to get you out of here. My friend has set up the best transportation for us so we can get you out into some nature,” Negan informed her with a bright smile, tipping in to press a loving kiss over her temple. “You sure you are going to be okay with that?”

“It’s better than here,” Lucille weakly smiled, her bright green eyes seemingly a bit dull in color as opposed to how they used to be. “It will be good for you.”

“Me?” Negan tilted his head to the side and she licked at her dry lips before swallowing down hard. She nodded making a half smile press in over Negan’s tired features. “Why do you say that?”

“You need to rest. You need a break,” she muttered and it was almost in a whisper. Negan slid his palm in over the side of her face and he traced his thumb over her cheekbone. “From…all of this.”

“I’m still going to be at your side babe, you’re stuck with me,” Negan leaned forward, pressing loving kisses over the side of her face making Lucille smile. Weakly, she squeezed at Negan’s hand and locked her eyes on his. “Nothing is changing when we leave. It will just be more comfortable for us, but I’m not leaving your side.”

“Negan,” she frowned, her eyebrows clenching together while she thought about something. “I just want you happy.”

“Here with you makes me happy sweetheart,” Negan gave her a wink and got comfortable resting at the edge of the hospital bed while he stared out at her. “Just being with you makes me happy.”

“You’re miserable,” she frowned and Negan shook his head immediately. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this.”

“I would do this all over again to be with you Lucille,” Negan shook his head and continued to caress over the side of her face while he spoke to her. The tracing of his rough fingers over the side of her face seemed to calm her and he felt his heart breaking looking at her. She was so beautiful, but she was pale and a lot thinner than what he was used to. Even so, Negan still found her just as beautiful as ever. “I’m so sorry you are going through this. If I could switch places with you…I would…”

“You need to start looking up,” she suggested with a shake of her head. “We can’t change what already is.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t curse God for this,” Negan answered, his eyes narrowing while he thought about her being sick. “You don’t deserve this.”

“No one deserves this,” Lucille corrected him with a long sigh and she shrugged her shoulders. “It happened, now we just have to cherish what we had.”

“It’s made me think of all of that should have been,” Negan confessed and he knew that Lucille would want that to be something he wouldn’t do, but he couldn’t help it. There was no doubt that Lucille was dying and he knew that. He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted to believe that by a miracle she would pull through and be able to go back to a normal life, but they knew now that was impossible. They just had to do what they could to keep her comfortable and around for as long as they could. “I keep thinking about what we should have done.”

“You can’t do that. We’ve talked about this,” she sighed, finding it hard to really find the energy to fight with Negan over this. She said it before, he knew how she felt about everything. “It’ll just make you sad.”

“But I am sad Lucille. I just wish we could have had that baby and we could have had a family,” Negan stammered, his voice shaken while he thought about their past together. “For so long we had dreams about having a family and I just wish we had that, you know? I wish we could have had a family and we could have been happy.”

“You would have been a good dad,” Lucille made Negan smile when she said it and she saw him lower his head down. Shakily reaching her hand out, she slid it in over the side of his face and traced over his rough features.

“I wish. I always wanted to be a dad, you know? Could you imagine what that would have been like? God, that would have been everything to me,” Negan finally explained to her how he felt about having children, although it was a little too late to actually feel that way. “When we got married, I wanted it all. You know? The white picket fence, the happy family. Maybe a boy and a girl. So much I longed to be a dad. I thought we would have the cutest kids. You know?”

Lucille nodded and Negan could feel his eyes tearing over as he spoke to her about the idea of children with her, “I wanted a baby just as much as you did Lucille. I just never said how disappointed I was about not being able to have one because I didn’t want to take away how you felt about it. With it being my fault, I figured I only had myself to blame.”

“It’s not your fault,” she felt guilty hearing him say that. “It’s not.”

“You should be surrounded by people who love you. Kids that help leave your legacy behind when we’re no longer here,” Negan rambled, reaching up to caress over Lucille’s hand that was still softly touching his face. “I wish we could have had that so much.”

“I wish we could have shared a lot of moments together too Negan. I love you,” she felt her arm getting weak and she had to lower it to the bed, her eyes getting heavy while she let out a shuddering exhale. “So much.”

“I love you too,” Negan leaned forward to press a peck over her lips and he saw a weak smile press over her features. “You are everything to me and I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”

“Ditto,” she winced almost and Negan’s head tilted to the side. “It’s not too late.”

“For what?” Negan grabbed a soft hold of her hand and caressed his thumb over her pulse point.

“To be a good dad,” she responded, clearing her throat as she spoke. “This trip…this cabin…it will be a good start.”

“What?” Negan found himself confused with what she was saying and he lowered is his head. “Yeah, I think it’s going to work well for us to have a fresh start on feeling better. A fresh start on being more comfortable.”

“No…Negan,” Negan could feel her hand shaking and his gaze locked on hers when he saw a sense of fear behind her eyes and his smile faded.

“Lucille?” Negan watched her head fall back and hit the pillow. Quickly moving to his feet, Negan reached out to urge his hand against the side of her face to try to pull her awake. “Hey? Baby? Baby wake up.”

Negan lowered his head against her chest to make sure that her heart was still beating and when he heard that it was, he quickly reached for the red button that was beside her bed to get help from the nurses. Frantically, Negan tried to wake her back up and he could sense that something was different this time.

Yes, she had been exhausted before and she had fallen asleep mid conversation, but the way she was shaking and the final look she gave him scared the hell out him. It was different and he could tell it. It was fear she looked at him with last and his heart was pounding inside of his chest. Every part of him was shaking and he didn’t know what to do.  

“Lucille,” Negan repeated her name again and again until finally a few nurses showed up in Lucille’s room. It took a lot to get Negan away from her while they tried to figure out what was happening with Lucille. Negan didn’t want to leave her side. Hell, he didn’t want anyone near her, but him, but the nurses forced him away toward the corner.

An incredible sense of fear overwhelmed Negan’s body while he watched the woman that he loved getting worked on by the medical staff that had flooded into the room. Panic rushed through his veins and he felt everything inside of him locking up. This couldn’t be the end. It just couldn’t be.  

 ----

Tags: @slutlanna976​​​  @nubbinrobin​​​ @oreostars​​​  @fuckthis-and-fuckthat​​​ @jennydehavilland​​ @felicity291​​ @de-gabyconamor​​ @ibelongtonegan​​​ @smallsadjellyfish​​ @labyrinthofheartagrams​  @msjamesmarch​ @thebeautysurrounds​​ @hotfornegan​​ @redmercysugar​​ @caprithebunny​​ @iluvneganandjamie​​ @ninamarietwd​​ @tuttifuckinfruitty​​ @emoryhemsworth​​ @a-girl-interupted​​ @akumune​​ @stoneyggirl​​ @xsarcasticwriterx​ 

#Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Negan #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #The Walking Dead #twd fanfiction

[lovely-yandere-imagines]

Zipper Man Gives me the Moody Blues: Part 1

Hello lovelies~! I’m here with another commission! with poly BruAbba! If you’d like to commission me you can find the link right here or in my bio!

Notes: 18+ ONLY! This is part 1 on a 2 part commission! This is set a few years after the events of part 5 where Abbacchio has gotten his job back at the police station and even got a promotion thanks to his mafia friends.

Pairing: Poly Yandere!Bruno x Police Chief!Abbacchio x AFAB Reader

Warnings: Mention of murder, unhealthy relationships, Bruno is delusional and has a daddy kink, Abbacchio is manipulative and has a corruption kink, this one is pretty tame compared to part 2

Word count: 1,530

Description: Bruno unknowingly kills someone in front of reader and they run to Police Chief Abbacchio for help but doesn’t realize Abba is married to the very man they’re running from.

The horrible sound of body parts landing on the ground with a slosh still fills your mind as you run. Thankfully Bruno didn’t see you spying on him so you were able to slip away quietly and get some distance between you in case he realized he was being watched. You made your way to the police station, you had to tell someone about this but none of the cops would believe you or they could have been paid off by Passione. The very same mafia you expected your boyfriend to be a part of.

Hopefully, if you went straight to the Chief of Police, Leone Abbacchio, he would believe you. He had a great approval rating and he was seen as one of the only good officers in the whole city. Chief Abbacchio was part of the reason crime has been so low recently since he was elected, drug crimes were low and the streets have been much safer to walk at night, apart from Bruno’s killings Naples has been relatively safe.

If only you knew what waited for you after you had stepped through the doors at the police station, you had your mind made up, you didn’t even bother speaking a word to the receptionist as you walked past them and ignored their words of protest, Finally making your way to Chief Abbacchio’s office and pushing open the door with a determined face.

Leone was stunned to see you there so late at night but he quickly regained his composure and before he can get out a word you say “Sir, I’m sorry to barge into you so suddenly but I have some information on the murders that have been happening recently and-” Abbacchio cuts you off and asked bluntly “Well what can I do for you, you storm into my office like you own the place and now you’re telling me you have information on the Zipperman murders and you expect me to believe you?”

You feel like your heart is going to burst and call feel the tears starting to form in the corners of your eyes, if Chief Abbacchio won't believe you then you might just be killed by the very man you called your lover. “Sir I really am sorry to disturb you but this is a matter of life or death in my case…” you grimace at the thought of Bruno finding out you went to the police. Abbacchio sighs and finally specks “Frankly doll, you look like you’ve seen a ghost...tell me what you got and then we’ll decide if it really is life or death as you say.”

You feel a wave of relief wash over you and you start from the beginning, about how you had been suspicious of Bruno in Passione and how you decided to follow him tonight. How you witnessed him dismember someone without even touching them and how you’re now practically begging for Abbacchio to believe you. You also tell him how he’s the only person you could have gone to with this because you know that the cops have been being paid off by Passione.

Abbacchio sighs and smiles at you “Well I’m very impressed, it seems you’ve pieced everything together perfectly, I’m glad you came to me with this information Y/n. And with your testimony we’ll finally make the streets of Naples safe together, that is if you will testify against Bruno that is..” He sees your hesitation and how you seem to tense up, you hadn’t even thought of testifying against Bruno, the thought made you head swarm and you could feel a tightness in your chest.

“No no no! He’ll kill me you don’t understand! I can't!” you feel like you’re hyperventilating before Abbacchio puts his hand on your shoulder and tries to calm you down “Hey! Hey, it’s okay, I won't let him hurt you, I promise,” he thinks for a minute and looks you in the eye “I don’t think it’s safe here or for you to go back home, it would be best if you came back to my place so I can protect you.” You look up at him with a tear-stained face and nod and with that, he can’t help but feel his heartache for you.

Abbacchio takes you out of the back exit just in case anyone sees you leaving and ushers you into his car and within a few minutes you are at his house, it is situated in a really nice neighborhood and you can't help but think all the houses around look like miniature mansions, “I guess being Chief of Police pays pretty well huh…” you say absentmindedly you thoughts are cut off by Abbacchio’s laugh, “It does most days but it’s mostly long hours” He winks at you and you can feel yourself begin to blush. He soon guides you inside and gets you situated in the guest room.

“Are you hungry? Or thirsty? I’ll get you anything you want” You politely decline the offer of food but then ask “Actually if you have any I’d like a glass of wine, it helps me relax after a long day… or well night I guess” Abbacchio smiles and he is quick to return from the kitchen with a bottle and two wine glasses full of the red liquid. “I hope you don’t mind but I went ahead and poured myself a glass as well” you shake your head and insist that it's alright as he joins you on the bed.

“So...this is a little awkward but uh, I like your makeup Abbacchio, I don't really know a lot about gothic culture but it um...it looks nice on you!” you say cheerfully and Abbacchio smiles at you again. “You know Y/n, you can call me Leone, I have a feeling that we’ll be spending a lot of time together” He places his hand on your thigh and feel your heart racing and cheeks began to blush before you look down and can clearly see the wedding ring on his finger as you feel the color drain from your face.

“Is your wife going to be okay with me being here, Leone?” you ask quietly and he laughs again before answering “My husband actually, and I don't think he’s going to mind at all, you see we’re in an open relationship. I think he will be very pleased to have you here honestly” You can’t help but blush as you finish the last of your wine. “I’m glad he won't mind...so what music do you like?” you ask as he pours you more wine and you can see him ponder the question for a few seconds before he answers “I like a lot of different rock bands like The Moody Blues, The Cure, Joy Division, Type O Negative, and Depeche Mode... You know the basic goth stuff” He says with a laugh that makes your heart flutter a bit.

Oh, I really like Joy Division and The Cure too” you say cheerfully as you quickly finish your second glass and now begin to start on your third as you start to feel the effects of the wine starting to hit you. “You know, if it wasn’t for you Leone, I’d probably be dead by now…” he says nothing for a moment and then caresses your face and give you a sweet smile that could make any girl smile “You shouldn’t think about stuff like that Mimma, let's talk-”

You cut him off and quickly spit out “No its truuuue! If you hadn't listened to me I would be dead by now, Bruno would have killed meeee! Can you believe that ash hole, he’s been lying to me from the beginning! I can’t believe I gave that-that MONSTER my first kiss!! At least I didn't give him MY VIRGINITY” he watches you in your drunken rambling and quickly cups your chin and gives you a passionate kiss.

“Shhh, it's okay Piccolo, you don’t have to worry about him hurting you. I promise” Leone reassures you but before you can say anything you both hear a knock on the door and he shouts for the person to come in. In your drunken state, you can barely make out the tall figure that must be Abbacchio’s husband who has an all too familiar face and white suit.

“Well, well, well...I certainly wasn’t expecting this, Leone would you mind explaining to me why Bambina here is drunk?” you can see the man shoots Abbacchio a glare. He tries to explain but decides it best if he just shuts up. The second man makes is way over to the bed and lowers himself down to you and you can’t help but feel the horror and dread building in you as the man brushes your hair behind your ear and you can finally make out the distant features of your former lovers face, then Bruno finally speaks “It’ll be so nice having you here with us baby girl, we’ll finally be a family” He kisses your forehead and you can help the chill that goes down your spine. Your fate was sealed as soon as you walked into Abbacchio’s Office.

#bruabba #bruno x reader #abbacchio x reader #yandere x reader #yandere bruno #yandere abbacchio #yandere bruabba #bruno x abbacchio x reader #poly bruabba #yandere jojo #yandere jojo x reader #commission #chief!abbacchio #yandere part 5 #yandere commission #JoJo's Bizarre Adventure #jjab #golden wind #sfw

[melanielocke]

The infirmary

I wrote a scene about Alastair visiting Charles in the infirmary (the second time), which was part of a fanfic of several chapters, but the whole thing was a bit messy and everything is in the wrong order on AO3 so chronologically this is the first, and can be ready seperately from the rest. (Chronological order of the chapters would be 4-2-1-3, but it doesn’t really matter in which order it’s read). Alastair and Charles do not yet know about Grace’s power here. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31458650/chapters/79662967#workskin

‘I wasn’t sure you’d come back,’ Charles said.

In truth, Alastair hadn’t been sure either. It was the second time he’d gone to the infirmary to visit his former lover, this time less hesitant. He was still a bit upset about the way Matthew had guilt tripped him into seeing Charles. But he guessed he also owed him this. At least talking to Charles now would give him some closure. Perhaps then he wouldn’t feel so nauseous every time he even saw him.

‘I wasn’t either,’ Alastair said. ‘But I think we should talk.’

‘Surely you got some of my letters during the past months,’ Charles said, sitting up on the infirmary bed.

Alastair had rarely seen him so vulnerable. Even when they had been in bed together, Charles had always been in control, his composure intact. Now he looked terrible, his face a grayish pale color and his hair in disarray.

‘I burnt them,’ Alastair said evenly.

‘All of them?’ Charles asked. ‘Well, you always had a flair for the dramatic.’

Alastair didn’t respond to that. ‘I heard your fiancée left you.’

Charles sighed and he showed emotion as he rarely did. Like Alastair he was a guarded person. But where Alastair had opened up when they were together, had given his lover everything, Charles had remained guarded even as they were together, showing just enough to assure him he loved Alastair, to convince him to stay. If Cordelia had not confronted him with how cruel Charles was to him, he might have stayed too.

‘Terrible business,’ Charles said. ‘Leaving Ariadne for her did not exactly make me popular.’

‘I can’t imagine why leaving your unconscious fiancée for another was an unpopular decision,’ Alastair said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

‘The odd thing is, I don’t even remember why I did it,’ Charles said. ‘Politically, Ariadne had much more to offer me. Her father is the Inquisitor after all. Grace’ mother is a prisoner.’

‘A prisoner who recently escaped the Adamant Citadel,’ Alastair added. ‘As for miss Blackthorn, according to the letter my sister sent me, she left you for James Herondale.’

Alastair had considered murdering James Herondale for betraying his sister like that. He’d seen James loved Grace Blackthorn, of course, had assumed James would never love his sister like she loved him. But when they’d gotten married, Alastair had thought he’d changed his mind. He’d believed James did love his sister and they could be happy together. How long had he been deceiving her?

‘I’m sorry for your sister, Alastair,’ Charles said. ‘Last I heard, she ran off to Paris with my brother.’

Alastair sighed. ‘I wish she would have come home after finding out about miss Blackthorn instead of going to Matthew. I have been arranging for my father’s funeral all by myself.’

Alastair needed her. How could she have left, now of all times, with their father dead and their mother about to give birth? He had no one to talk to with his mother sick and no friends at all. He was speaking with Charles, of course, but he was not the person to talk about his feelings with. He had, in the past, which usually resulted in Charles telling him he shouldn’t be so sensitive. It wasn’t exactly masculine to cry, after all, and image was everything to Charles. Anger was far more acceptable, and although Alastair had his mother’s temper, anger was exhausting and lately Alastair was often just too tired to feel the anger he’d once felt.

‘If you want, I could write to the head of the Paris institute to look for them, keep them out of trouble or even send them home.’

‘Last I heard, the head of the Paris institute is out for your blood,’ Alastair said drily. ‘You really messed up in Paris, I’d surprised if they’d even let you into the city.’

‘I’ve heard people say you were cruel, but you were never cruel to me before,’ Charles said softly, showing a bit of vulnerability.

Alastair knew it was purposeful, an attempt to inspire pity in him. But it wasn’t cruel to confront Charles with his mistakes, was it? Arrogant and ambitious as he was, Alastair genuinely did not think Charles would make a good consul anymore.

‘Cruel?’ Alastair asked, raising his voice a little. ‘This is not cruelty, Charles. Becoming engaged while you were still with me and I was clearly uncomfortable with it, that was cruel. Leaving Ariadne while she was unconscious was cruel. You have been nothing but cruel to me while we were together.’

‘I never wanted to hurt you,’ Charles said.

‘Perhaps not, but you didn’t care either,’ Alastair. ‘You didn’t listen to me when I said you were hurting me. You assumed I’d change my mind and realize you were right eventually. That’s your problem, Charles, you only ever care about what you want, and you convince yourself that others around you want the same thing. And you do not listen to a single thing that tells you otherwise.’

Charles looked stunned, and Alastair felt a bit better, getting this off his chest. He’d spent much time thinking of Charles, and what had gone wrong. He’d blamed himself at times, as he always did. He should never have started a relationship with Charles, should never have let a much older man convince him that being hidden away like that was love. But Charles was at fault too, for taking advantage of him, for demanding Alastair’s time, his love and affection, and giving nothing back. He still felt nauseous whenever he thought of Charles touching him, couldn’t imagine why he’d ever allowed that.

‘I am not engaged anymore,’ Charles said. ‘So that is no longer a problem.’

Alastair hesitated. Did Charles mean what he said? He wasn’t engaged, that was true, but why would he assume Charles would do anything but find a new fiancée as soon as possible? He couldn’t have the world thinking he was unable to find and keep a wife, after all. He had to keep up appearances.

‘I still care for you Alastair.’ Charles paused for the slightest moment. ‘I missed you.’

He seemed so vulnerable in that moment, and it almost made Alastair want to give in, to go back to what he knew. The love he’d once felt for Charles resurfaced. But it had turned bitter too.

‘Is that why you wouldn’t leave me alone?’ Alastair asked. ‘If you’d really cared for me, you would have left me alone when I asked you. Instead you insulted me when I asked you to leave me alone, and you insulted my sister when she stood up for me. What did you think would happen?’

Alastair had never been fond of parties, he only had Cordelia and his mother to speak to and they both had their own group of friends they wanted to spend time with. Most of the time, he only attended because he had no choice but to at least show his face. But lately, going to parties not only meant being awkward and alone, but also trying his best to avoid Charles who just wouldn’t leave him alone.

‘I wasn’t thinking,’ Charles said. ‘I was lonely and I had just realized I’d made a terrible mistake in Paris and I needed you. Can’t you give me another chance? I won’t get engaged again, I promise.’

Alastair sighed. Charles had made many such promises when they’d been in Paris together. He’d broken all of them. He had no reason to believe Charles was genuine this time.

‘I nearly died,’ Charles added. ‘And all I could think about was you. How I wanted you to come back. Apparently I called out for you, although at the time I wasn’t exactly conscious and had no clue what I was doing.’

‘Yes, thanks for that,’ Alastair said. ‘Despite all your efforts to conceal who you really are, you might just have outed us both. So far, I don’t think anyone has figured it out, your brother is remarkably dense, but people still might.’

Alastair knew it wasn’t fair to blame Charles for that, he knew Charles had been nearly dead, but the idea of a half conscious Charles calling out for him was still uncomfortable. Some time ago, he might have thought it romantic, proof that Charles did love him. But they weren’t together anymore and now it was just a reminder that Charles had not moved on.

Charles seemed genuinely concerned by that statement. ‘You think they know?’

‘I honestly have no idea,’ Alastair said. ‘But you’re the one who called out for me, you’re the one who gets to figure out how to explain it.’

Alastair wasn’t exactly ready for people to know he liked men, but he didn’t know how to explain the situation either. He figured it was probably best to pretend none of it had happened, or that he had no clue why Charles had called his name.’

‘I will,’ Charles said. ‘Don’t worry about it, they won’t find out.’

Alastair couldn’t help but feel a bit annoyed that Charles cared so much more about people not knowing than about his comfort and happiness, even if he was also relieved people wouldn’t know, not yet.

‘But I mean it, about wanting you back,’ Charles said. ‘I won’t become engaged again. I would do that for you. I never realized how unhappy it made you.’

Alastair sighed. ‘You never realized because you didn’t care. I told you many times it made me unhappy, I tried to reason with you, tried to tell you it was unfair to both me and your fiancée. If not this, then there will be something else we do not agree on, and you never listen to what anyone else wants. I will not go back to being dismissed like that.’  

‘You do realize you want things that are impossible, don’t you?’ Charles asked with the arrogance he was so familiar with.

‘What I want is impossible? Charles, you want to be consul. You want the support of a wife, a perfect public image and you want me whenever is convenient for you. All I wanted was to have someone who loves me and makes time for me. Someone who cares about how I feel.’

Neither of them said anything for a while. ‘It wasn’t much I asked for,’ Alastair said, refusing to look Charles in the eye.

Charles put his hand on Alastair’s, but Alastair withdrew as if the touch burnt. In a way, it did. It made him feel sick like the sight of Charles often had the past months.

‘Do not touch me,’ Alastair hissed between his teeth.

Charles looked at him for a moment. ‘There’s someone else, isn’t there?’

Alastair wasn’t sure what had given it away, or why Charles would bring his suspicions up right now. His aversion to Charles’ touch wasn’t about Thomas.

‘And what if there were someone else? Does it matter?’ Alastair asked. ‘Because whatever it is we had, that’s done. You cannot expect me to give you another chance after breaking my trust so many times.’

‘Who is it?’ Charles asked, ignoring everything Alastair had said as he always did.

‘It’s none of your business,’ Alastair said.

He wasn’t about to explain that no matter how much he liked Thomas Lightwood, it was impossible because of his past mistakes. If thinking he had someone else would convince Charles to back off, that would be worth it.

‘You can’t really think he will be different,’ Charles said. ‘It’s always going to be a secret no matter who you are with, and if you can’t accept that, you are going to end up alone.’

Alastair’s dark eyes flashed dangerously. ‘I’d rather be alone than be with someone with whom I’m unhappy. Goodbye, Charles. I won’t be visiting again.’

Alastair left, refusing to look back at Charles who called after him. Asked him once again to stay. He should never have let Matthew pressure him into seeing Charles and her certainly shouldn’t have come back.

He hated how he’d been tempted, if only for a moment. He knew now that whatever it was Charles offered, it wasn’t love. He knew there was more to being in a relationship than just fulfilling Charles’ sexual needs. He remembered his last days in Paris, seeing the city with Thomas, going to a museum together, talking about their interests, art, travels… If only it were possible. If only he hadn’t ruined everything with those rumors, with everything he’d done at school.

But perhaps someday there would be another Thomas Lightwood, someone who wanted to take him to museums and mundane films, who was interested in what he had to say and not just in what he could offer in the bedroom. Charles would move on eventually, and Alastair felt relieved after telling Charles the truth. If anything, it brought some closure.

#Alastair Carstairs #Charles Fairchild #thomas lightwood #tlh #the Last Hours #Chain of Gold #Chain of Iron

[chaoticpuff17]

A Dangerous Game

part 27

masterlist

“Mr. Tuan.” She breathed out in surprise eyes wide as she took in the sight of the man before her. “I was under the impression that you were no longer allowed inside the estate.” She raised a brow but continued snipping flowers from the bush. She’d taken to helping in the garden in to alleviate the boredom found by her newfound lack of babysitters.

Namjoon had been on cloud nine ever since the wedding. It had been a peaceful few weeks. With Namjoon having everything he wanted he had even eased up on the security directly surrounding her. With his new legal hold over her and the chip in her neck, he found no reason to keep her constantly surrounded. But that was not to say that security around the estate had gotten lax. Security around the wall of the estate had been increased. Even if she had no guard with her, she was well guarded.

“I was supposed to be smoothing things over with RM after Jackson caused a scene at the wedding. Your husband wasn’t happy with us you know.” Mark shrugged flashing her a charming smile as he leaned against the wall of the house.

“I would think that you would try talking to him at his office. He’s not at the house today.” She laughed as she stared him down. “And as far as I’m aware you’re not allowed to be here.”

“I’m not.” He grinned. “But Jackson wanted to know if you were doing alright.”

“I’m fine.” She huffed clipping a flower more aggressively than she needed to. “You can tell him that.”

He shrugged pushing off the wall and taking the shears from her, setting them down on the patio table. “You’re really fine? Because last time I talked to you, you were asking me to sneak you out of here.”

She had to stifle a laugh at that. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she’d asked the stranger in the garden to help spirit her away. “Haven’t you heard? It’s in your best interest that I stay here.”

“Is it in your best interest?” He asked offering her an arm which she took as he began to lead her into the garden. She was sure the walk wouldn’t last long though. One of the maids would have reported their visitor to Miss In by now, and Miss In would tell security if not Namjoon himself.

“I don’t think I get a say in that anymore.” She sighed staring up at the leaves. They were just beginning to change. “I’m married now. He won.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.” He mused. “From what Jackson says, you’re far too tenacious to give up without a fight.”

“Marriage seems a little final, unless you’re telling me to murder my husband.” He made a face as if saying, ‘well are you?’. “He keeps all the weapons locked away, especially after I accidentally stabbed him.”

“Highlight of my year.” He laughed leading up the bridge over the koi pond. “So how long do we have until the cavalry comes to kick me out of here?” He whispered conspiratorially.

“I would think about two minutes.” She nodded laughing as they both settled to lean against the railing looking down at the koi. “You’re crew isn’t very popular around here.”

“What about you?” She looked to him in confusion. “Am I popular with you?” He clarified waggling his eyebrows at her.

“I don’t really know you, but you’re friends with Jackson, and I don’t really like him right now. That being considered, I’m going to have to say no. So sorry.”

“I can’t blame you for that. You know he really did want to get you out of here. JB had other plans though.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that he’s a liar.”

“I guess it doesn’t.” He sighed running a hand through his hair. “I am sorry about it, you know. But you have a pretty sweet set up here.”

“Yes, because the inability to leave the house is every girl’s dream.” She rolled her eyes sarcastically.

“Still not allowed out?” He asked surprise coloring his tone. “I would have thought he’d have eased up on the house arrest after the wedding. Doesn’t he have guards with you all the time?”

“No babysitter anymore, but house arrest is still in full swing.”

“Y/N.” Hoseok called storming over to them his eyes narrowed dangerously and zoned in on Mark.

“Hoseok.” She greeted smile turning strained as the man reached them.

“Tuan.” He growled. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“I’m going.” He backed away raising his hands in surrender though there was a Cheshire grin on his lips. “I’ll see you around, Mrs. Kim.”

Hoseok watched him go remaining stoically at her side watching the other man like a hawk until he disappeared from sight. “Namjoon wants you to join him for dinner tonight.” He told her once he was sure Mark was gone.

“I join him for dinner every night.” She pointed out confused by why tonight it had to be requested.

Hoseok sighed clearly annoyed by her lack of understanding combined with finding her fraternizing with the enemy. “He wants you to join him at a restaurant.”

She froze, her face the picture of shock. Namjoon wanted her to leave the estate to go to dinner? It didn’t seem possible. He never wanted her to leave her gilded cage. “You’re sure we’re talking about the same Namjoon?” She questioned brows furrowed.

“He asked for you to join him. Do you want me to tell him you refuse?” He asked quirking a brow at her.

“Am I allowed to refuse?”

“Not really.” He shrugged unbothered by the obvious lack of choice she had in her marriage. Namjoon was happy, and that was what mattered to Hoseok even if that happiness cost the freedom of someone else.

“Well then I suppose I should get ready then.”

Leaving the estate was slightly surreal. It was the first time she had been somewhere other than on the run or to Namjoon’s headquarters. He was far too paranoid to let her out of the house when she’d proven herself to be a flight risk on more than one occasion. Granted her odds of escape were slim to none when Hoseok was with her. The man wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in her leg if it meant keeping her by Namjoon’s side.  

But it was a relief to be outside the walls of the estate. She had begun to get a little stir crazy especially with no Jungkook to keep her distracted, Yoongi to play piano with, or Jin to play narts with. There were only so many activities to keep her occupied in the estate. She was almost beginning to miss having babysitters, which was worrying on so many more levels than she was willing to analyze at that moment. But she was thrilled to be outside of the estate, and that was what she was choosing to focus on.

Of course Namjoon had thought ahead, and she wasn’t going to be in the presence of anyone she could ask for help. Hoseok had led her directly to a private room when they’d arrived at a restaurant that was much fancier than she was used to going to, but she shouldn’t have expected anything less than excellence when it came to Namjoon.

He was sitting there waiting for her when Hoseok ushered her in.

“Y/N.” He smiled standing from his seat to come greet her placing a light kiss on her lips. “You look lovely, jagi.” He removed her coat handing it to Hoseok before leading her to her seat and pushing her chair in. Always the gentleman.

“What’s the occasion?” She asked unfolding her napkin and placing it across her lap before turning her gaze back to him.

“We’ve been married for a month, jagi.” He grinned happy as a clam. “I thought we should celebrate.”

A month. It had been a month since the wedding, and she hadn’t even realized. “I see.” She gave him a shaky smile trying to keep the peace though her fingers were nervously plucking at the napkin on her lap.

How could a whole month have gone by without her realizing it? Had she become that complacent with her situation? A whole month of mindless married life had gone by, and she hadn’t even noticed. Every day was the same as it had been for months with the exception of now Namjoon had a free pass for affection and sex, and oh was the man insatiable.

It was like someone had opened the floodgates. It sometimes came to the point where she didn’t get any sleep. She didn’t know where he got all the energy between making her life hell and running his criminal empire. The saving grace of it was that Namjoon was an exceptionally good lover. He always had her seeing stars. The worst part was that she couldn’t even pretend that she didn’t enjoy the sex, and his self-satisfied smirk didn’t help quell her fury.

“I honestly didn’t think I would be allowed outside the estate.” She chuckled nervously trying to look anywhere but at his eyes. This all felt far too similar to their first meeting with the exception of this time she was wearing actual clothing instead of being shoeless in a nightgown. But the dinner, the ambiance, it was all so similar to that first night.

“You’re not a prisoner, jagi.” He scolded lightly. “You’re my wife, and I don’t want you to feel trapped.”

“I haven’t left the house in weeks,” She pointed out. “And the last time I did so was for a meeting with GOT7. And before that I hadn’t left the house since you kidnapped me.” She chose to ignore the way that Namjoon’s jaw tensed in annoyance. “There’s not another word for it. It was kidnapping.” 

“When you’ve proven you’re not a flight risk, you’ll be allowed to leave the house, with supervision of course.”

“Of course.” She agreed keeping the brittle smile fixed to her face.

Namjoon sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. While he was pleased she was more like herself again, he had to admit he had not missed her barbs and false smiles. He’d enjoyed the weeks of her softer demeanor. She wasn’t quite as firey as she had been, but she had regained a fair bit of her former self, enough to argue with him again at least.

“I don’t want you to be unhappy, jagi.”

She sighed adjusting her smile so that it was a little brighter. “I never said I was unhappy.”

“But you’re not happy.”

Her smile dropped. “I’m trying.” She whispered shifting her gaze back down to her lap. “I’m trying to make the best of this, but you know this isn’t what I wanted from life. You aren’t what I wanted.” 

“I know you’re trying.” He sighed leaning back in his chair. “I’m sorry, jagi. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you weren’t. Forgive me?” He asked eyes softening as he looked at her. “I can make you happy. All you have to do is give me the chance.”  She quirked a brow as if challenging the statement but said nothing else though it did elicit another sigh from Namjoon. “I heard you had a visitor today.” He said changing the subject.

“I did.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll talk to the staff about keeping the riff raff out.”

“He didn’t mean any harm.” She sighed. “And at least it wasn’t Jackson.”

“Jackson will be shot without hesitation the next time he steps within a hundred feet of the estate.” Namjoon growled fingers clenched tightly around the stem of his wine glass.

“What about your alliance?” She asked carefully. Talking business was Namjoon would be moving into dangerous territory. He knew full well she had no loyalty to him, and telling her anything about the business would be a mistake on his part unless he succeeded in brainwashing her or she came down with a case of Stockholm syndrome.

He paused staring at her with distrustful eyes.  He didn’t want her anywhere near his business. He loved her, of course he did, but he didn’t trust her, not with this. “Jaebum is fully aware that if Jackson comes anywhere near you again, I won’t be lenient.” She didn’t need to know that the alliance meant very little to him though. He would get rid of them as soon as he had the opportunity.

“Don’t.” She whispered staring down at her place, her eyebrows scrunched together as though she was contemplating something serious.

“What?” He asked almost disbelieving.

“Don’t shoot him. I may not like him right now, but I don’t want him dead.” She explained. “I owe him a lot.”

Namjoon bit his cheek trying to tamp down his annoyance. Jackson would definitely have to go. He didn’t like the thought of her caring for another man so much, or the fact that she cared for him so much after he betrayed her. The only one she should care for so much should be him, and he had every intention of ensuring that he would be. She was coming around, slowly, but she was coming around.

“I’m trying to do what’s best for you.” He smiled, wiping away his sour look. “I have something for you.” She looked at his cautiously. She very seldom enjoyed his gifts. Namjoon pulled a black velvet box out of his jacket pocket placing it on the table in front of her. It was too big to be earrings and not the right shape to be a bracelet. “It’s not going to bite you.” He encouraged amused by her hesitance.

She opened the box to reveal a necklace, simple but beautiful in design. It was a delicate silver chain that trialed down to a small diamond. From that point two far smaller chains descended to connect the first diamond to a second larger diamond though it to was delicate and understated in nature, and she had to begrudgingly admit that it was beautiful and that she loved it.

“It’s beautiful.” She murmured staring down at the piece of jewelry.

“I thought you might like it. May I?” He asked gesturing towards the box, and she nodded. Namjoon stood moving to stand behind her delicately moving her hair away from her shoulder before reaching for the necklace and clasping it around her neck. “Beautiful.” He whispered into her ear before placing a soft kiss just below it. “Just like you. Happy anniversary, my love.”

part 28

#bts #yandere bts #bts fic #bts rm #bts namjoon #namjoon #namjoon x reader #mafia namjoon #yandere namjoon #yandere #soft yandere #rm x reader #rm #mafia #mafia au #dark romance #a dangerous game #fanfic