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bookish-whore · 2 years

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Falling Part VI

Azriel x Reader

Words: 4.5k

Warnings: Angst, light discussion of domestic abuse, Az still being an idiot. Some fluff.

A/N: Surprise it's out a little earlier than I anticipated. This is the first chapter where I’m trying out a different POV. So, let me know what you guys think! I am so so so grateful for the support you have all shown this story and me (I literally love you all <3). As always, my requests are open, and I am slowly working through them!

My Masterlist -> Here

Falling Masterlist -> Here

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The Day Court is as beautiful as they say. I had only been here a few days, but I don’t think I could tire of waking to this view. The sprawling greenery, the rolling hills, the airy smells. Everything just felt so bright, like a gentle morning breeze in early fall. I hadn’t felt this light or carefree in weeks, further validating my decision to flee here. Sure, I had felt some regret about running away, but everything had become so hard. It seemed like everywhere I went, everyone I talked to had an opinion about what I should do, and it was suffocating me. My time here would hopefully give me some clarity about what I needed to do and some time to figure out what I wanted out of this whole thing.

I sat up, stretching my arms above my head. I had to admit I was looking forward to our excursion today, Lucien was taking me on a library tour, I had heard countless stories about the thousand libraries of the Day Court, and I was especially interested in the progress rebuilding them. Lucien told me that Amarantha had done some serious damage to the works here, before everything that happened under the mountain, she had personally looted the knowledge kept here. I know Helion, and now Lucien, had been hard at work collecting works and making repairs, reinforcing wards and such. Helion had also promised to show me his private study.

I couldn’t help but wonder what tomes Helion “spell-cleaver” had selected as necessary for his everyday use, what his favorite volumes were. I would also be helping Lucien compile his own assortment of books for his study. Excited at the thought, I threw off my bedsheets and made my way to the bathroom, which had a wall of floor to ceiling windows allowing the morning light to stream in casting the room in a warm glow. I filled the bath, throwing in an assortment of oils and salves as I undressed and lowered myself into the warm water reclining my head against the side before slowly dipping my head below the water’s surface. I took my time, the heat of the water relaxing my limbs and seeping into my bones.

Once I was satisfied, and the water had begun to cool, I climbed out of the tub wrapping myself in a fluffy towel and making my way to the closet. Helion had been a more than gracious host, providing me with some dresses in Day Court fashion. In all honesty it was practically an entire boudoir he was an extravagant male. I selected a light blue and gold dress, the material flowy and light. it had a deep V, the material snuggly keeping my breasts in place, it also had a low back which was a godsend considering the weather was warmer here than it was in the Night Court.

Satisfied with how I looked, I made my way downstairs for breakfast, where the high lord and Lucien were undoubtedly waiting. As I descended the stairs, I could hear their laughter echoing through the halls of the palace. As I approached the dining room, a pair of fae opened the doors allowing me a grander entrance than I expected. I couldn’t help but smile at the showmanship. I walked into the room, locking eyes with Helion immediately.

“Be still my heart. y/n you- are absolutely breathtaking” Helion said as I entered the room. I made my way to the empty seat at his side, opposite Lucien, as Helion took my hand placing a gentle kiss to it as I sat.

“You should not conflate my ego as you do, or I might never leave” I teased

“Perhaps I enjoy your company and am trying to seduce you into staying” the high lord responded. Lucien shook his head, hiding a roguish smile.

“How did you sleep?” Lucien asked

“Best I have had in weeks” I said

“I’m glad my court is treating you so well” Helion said taking a sip from his glass. The remainder of breakfast was uneventful, Lucien and Helion discussed plans for an upcoming festival, they talked about library repairs and general business and Helion told stories about Lucien’s first few weeks in the court getting to know everyone, he made sure to include the events that would make me laugh, like Lucien getting thrown off Meallan when Helion introduced him to the Pegasus.

Once my laughter subsided Lucien spoke “Are you ready for the libraries y/n”

My eyes undoubtedly lit at the suggestion “gods yes!” I practically squealed. Lucien rose from his seat making his way over to me and extended his hand, I grabbed it immediately and we practically ran from the dining room leaving Helion sitting there a large smile plastered on his face.

As we walked to the library I took in the scenery and the architecture. When we arrived at the doors to the library I was in awe. It was a towering structure, so many tall spires that were undoubtedly filled with books, all the knowledge of Prythian. The carvings in the stone so intricate and the greenery growing around the building entombing the sides with vines, flowers, and moss.

As I took in the view, I didn’t notice Helion had joined us until Meallan landed beside me. His muscled body glimmering in the light and his long black mane blowing in the breeze. He chuffed and I reached my hand out to him. I had never seen a Pegasus in person, let alone touched one. Helion pulled the reigns guiding the winged horse to me, his nose pressing into my hand. I reached my other hand to stroke his neck, I looked over to find both Helion and Lucien smiling at me. Meallan let out a huff before flying into the air. I watched him become nothing more than a black spot on the horizon. My attention brought back to the looming building in front of me.

“Come along y/n, the libraries await” Helion said, muttering the old language under his breath as the doors opened revealing rows and rows of Ivory shelves all filled with books. As I stepped inside, I reclined my head finding that everywhere I looked there were shelves of books and scrolls. It was a vast sea of knowledge as far as I could see. Lucien took my hand guiding me through the building towards the studies. I was grateful for him, had he not guided me along, I think I would have been rooted to where I had been standing frozen as I took in the beauty of this place. I had never seen anything like it.

Helion’s study was not at all what I expected. Oak furniture adorned the space, and the tones were much darker than I thought they would be. Helion often surrounded himself in light colors, but this space was all deep browns, and blues, there were some gold and white accents but not at all what I expected. As I looked at the books on the shelves, I was not surprised to find magic books, spell books, personal journals, and some healing texts. I was surprised to find some romance books on his desk. I made a mental note to remember the author’s name and look her up myself later. Once we left Helion’s study and made our way to the opposite wing where Lucien’s would be, Helion got called away on high lord business. He promised to catch up later and winnowed away.

Lucien’s study was still being decorated but I wasn’t surprised by his use of color. Green and auburn reminiscent of his childhood home. Floral plants and yellow accents for his time in the spring court and perhaps to remind him of Elain. We spent hours poring over books, selecting materials for Lucien’s office. Chatting about everything and nothing. It was easy and comfortable to be here, with him.

“So, what do you think y/n” Lucien asked

“I think that this place is amazing” I said a beaming smile on my face

“It’s good to see you like this…happy and carefree” Lucien says

“It’s nice to actually feel happy.” I reply

“I’m glad you’re here y/n” the autumn prince said “I don’t think I could do this without your help. Not just the study but this whole engagement thing. I mean finding out Helion is my father paired with the other stuff has been a lot but you- you have made it so much easier”

“I couldn’t do this without you either” I said pulling him into a tight embrace

“It’s about time we head back” Lucien said “but Helion has given you unrestricted access to the library for whenever you should wish to immerse yourself in it.”

I smiled taking another long look at the space before Lucien pulled me to him to winnow us back to the palace. When we arrived in the foyer, Lucien reminded me of our dinner plans, he wanted to have an intimate dinner, just us so we could talk.

“I just need to change and freshen up and I’ll meet you downstairs” I said, Lucien gave me a nod before heading to his own quarters and I made the trek back to my room.

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As I walked back to my room, I was surprised to find Helion sitting in one of the many large windows of the hall, his back resting against a stone pillar with one leg swinging into the open air and the other tucked against him at an angle so he could rest his arm upon it. Helion had such a casual charisma and it reminded me of Azriel, reminders of him were everywhere, even here, in this place.

“Something on your mind y/n” Helion asked delicately as I approached sitting opposite him, leaning against the pillar.

“Just- thinking about my situation.” I responded

“Ah- the business with the Shadowsinger I presume” he asked

“That would be the one” I looked out at the setting sun admiring the hundreds of colors that were reflected in the fading light.

“I heard he was engaged; to the other Archeron sister, Elain right?”

“He is” I said with a solemn nod

“And she is Lucien’s mate, is she not?”

“She is” I say softly

“I see why you and my son get along so well.” The high lord began “Not everyone can understand the pain of unrequited love”

“Can you?” I tentatively asked him

“My dear, I think I understand much better than most” he took a deep breath “Have I ever told you about my one love?”

I shook my head. And the high lord began.

“It was the equinox ball, hundreds of years ago now, but I can still recall the moment she walked in the room. She was a thing of beauty, the room halting at her very presence. Her smile was radiant, her auburn hair glimmering in the faelight. I recall that moment quite often. She looked so carefree then. Of course, I immediately approached her and asked for a dance.” he smiled at the memory “It was a waltz, and I knew after that single dance that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my days. That I would spend an eternity waiting for her. I didn’t realize at the time that I actually would. We talked all night, she told me about her sisters, about her life in the Autumn court, about how she wanted more for her life, she wanted to see the world and have adventures. She wanted to be more than just a wife and a mother. We admitted many things that night, but when morning came…she was gone.” Helion’s eyes were glassy as he continued telling me about Lucien’s mother.

“I found out a few weeks later that her family, in pursuit of political alliances, had promised her to Beron. Of course, there were rumors, rumors that she waited before agreeing to the marriage and I had hoped that she would return my letters, that she felt the same way I did. But they married and she began having his children. and I didn’t hear from her for decades. Not until- until Hybern’s attack on her family estate where they murdered her sisters, and she was presumed dead. I didn’t believe that, and I went out scouring the forests for any sign of her. By the time I found her, she was inconsolable. I brought her back to my home for her to escape her grief and that began a decades long love affair between us. In all honesty, I didn’t know that Lucien was my son, maybe a small part of me had hoped, but it wasn’t until Rhys and Feyre that I had any confirmation.” Helion took another shaky breath.

“And I knew what Beron did to her all those years, his punishment for her love for me. I knew how he abused her, belittled her, dimmed her radiant light. but every time I begged her to leave, to come to me she refused. I think she was doing her best to protect her -our- son. I have to admit, even now I hold out hope that she will leave him. that she will show up on my doorstep so we can finally begin the life we should have had together because I will always love her, until my last day”

I wiped away the tears that fallen as he finished his story.

“Does it get any easier?” I ask

“No” he said solemnly “but let me be the one to tell you that I regret nothing. I would never regret loving her or the time we spent together. I only wish for more of it.”

“But hasn’t love left you lonely?” I asked

“Being able to say that I loved and lost is my greatest achievement, besides Lucien. I pity those who don’t feel love at all.”

“Thank you” I said softly, the high lord pulled me into a tight hug

“I think you will be just fine my dear” Helion said before departing down the hall towards his own chambers “perhaps you’ll even be happy” he called out before disappearing completely.

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Once in my room, I quickly changed into a simple dress, it was of the same material as the blue dress a light airy design that flowed softly to the ground, only this one was white with gold accents. I ran a comb through my hair and after checking the time made my way downstairs to meet Lucien.

When I saw Lucien, I couldn’t help but think that the day court suited him well. He had changed into a white and gold tunic, open at the chest to reveal his muscled torso, his red hair pulled back into a leather tie. I smiled at the fact that we were in matching ensembles. He held out his arm which I took without a second thought as he led us to the terrace, not the dining room.

He had set up a sweet dinner for us, a small table overlooking the gardens on the terrace. There was greenery all around and we would get the perfect view of the sunset when it came time for it. The table was adorned with a simple tablecloth, and candles, and a tray of fruits, breads, and cheeses. Two glasses of wine waiting for us.

“Lucien, this- this is beautiful” I said

“I figured this would be a nice change of pace” he replied

I made my way to one side of the table, and he pulled out my chair for me before taking his own seat. He picked up his glass and motioned for me to do the same. I smiled as I raised it to his.

“To us” he said “to our friendship and to many more years together”

“To us” I repeated tapping my glass against his with a soft clink.

We engaged in easy conversation; Lucien was always easy to talk to and before I knew it a group of servants appeared bringing out our dinner. We were having roasted lamb with potatoes and an assortment of vegetables. As we began to eat Lucien grew somewhat serious. He took a deep breath before breaking the brief silence.

“I feel like I need to tell you something, but I don’t want you to panic or freak out about it” Lucien said

“Okay, well with that kind of introduction to whatever the news is, I am panicking just a little”

“I received a letter” he began to say

“You receive many letters” I said sarcastically

“A letter from Elain” I practically spat my wine as I set down my knife and fork.

“From Elain?” I ask, needing him to confirm what he said

“Yes” he said “she wants to get to know me better, and apologizes for how she behaved these past years since the cauldron”

“Can I see it?” I ask tentatively.

“Of course” Lucien says “there are no secrets between us” he reached into his pocket pulling out a piece of parchment and handing it to me. Her delicate sprawling script, intricate and neat on the letter. I read it twice to be sure I was seeing correctly:

Dear Lucien,

I’m sure you are confused as to why I am writing to you, especially when I have been so staunchly opposed to you these past few years. I can only imagine what that has been like for you, and I wanted to sincerely apologize for dismissing you so quickly. You must realize that I had just become fae, and so many things were changing for me I couldn’t handle the idea of a mate. I still struggle with it now.

However, I was hoping you might be open to having tea sometime whenever you feel you are ready. I would like the opportunity to know you. mating bond or no, you are one of my sister’s dear friends and I hope we can develop some kind of friendship. I understand if you would choose not to, being that I am engaged to another male. but I figured writing you was the only way to find out.

Best Wishes,

Elain Archeron

“Are you going to meet her?” I asked

“I haven’t decided, I mean it feels strange for her to request a meeting as though I will simply come running to her side. I am not some trained animal, and she cannot simply summon me when she feels like it.” Lucien says

“I understand, I think it is strange too. but… I do really think the transition to fae has been difficult for her and maybe she is finally coming to terms with what it all means for her future, immortality for a human is hard to fathom. I think you should take time to decide, but I think you should meet with her if only for yourself. I think after all this time you deserve some closure”

“And what about you? Have you figured out a solution to your own problem” he asked

“I have” I said taking in a deep breath “When I get home, I am going to deal with it all and I am ready for it. But I think for now I want to enjoy a few more days of not worrying about things. The calm before the storm you know?”

Lucien nodded his head and we stood from the table making our way to the railing of the terrace to watch the sunset.

“I think it’s going to work itself out, for us both. I have to have faith that all of this heartache and pain is leading us towards something.” he says softly. I nod in agreement.

With that, Lucien and I continued to watch the sunset in silence. He shifted his position to stand behind me and I leaned my head on his chest, his chin coming to rest atop my head and his arms wrapped around my torso. In this moment, the notion of mating bonds, proposals, confessions, and of the Spymaster weren’t invading my every thought and I was content watching the sunset in the gentle arms of my best friend.

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Meanwhile Back in the Night Court…

“I just don’t understand why she would leave so suddenly. What was so urgent that she couldn’t say goodbye, that she couldn’t explain?” Azriel asked

“She left letters Az” Cassian said “She explained to Rhys, Feyre, Nes and I her reasons for leaving and I think if she wanted you to know why she was leaving, she would have told you”

Azriel let out a frustrated sigh “Yeah, she left you all letters but said nothing to me. Cass did I do something? did I upset her somehow? I just- I thought we were close.”

“Why has this got you so worked up brother?” Cassian asked, “Do you- do you have feelings for y/n?”

“Cass, I’m engaged” Azriel responded, wrapping his wrists for sparring.

“That wasn’t my question, and you know it”

“I don’t know Cass, I feel this- this pull towards her and it makes me feel so fucking guilty because I’m engaged to Elain. I love Elain, I really do, but there is something about y/n…something I can’t shake. I just want to be around her all the time. When something happens, she is the first person I want to tell. I-” Azriel shakes his head as though expelling a thought “I don’t know Cass.”

“You want to know what I think?” Cassian asks

“Not particularly, but I have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyways so go ahead”

“I think that you need to sort your shit out. Because from where I am standing, with what you just said it sounds like you have feelings for y/n. If that is the case, you need to call off whatever it is you have with Elain and decide what you want.”

“I want Elain, I proposed to her for gods sake. I want to spend my life with her, I made a commitment”

“If that was true brother, you wouldn’t even think twice about y/n. I’m not judging you, I just- I want you to be happy”

“I am happy”

“Yeah, I don’t believe that for one second, you have been miserable since finding out y/n left. You’ve been moping around the house, not sleeping, acting irritable”

“Can we just drop this” Azriel says getting into a defensive position preparing to spar with Cassian. Ignoring the feeling that the male in front of him was right.

----- a few hours later -----

After his conversation and consequent hours long sparring session with Cassian, Azriel made his way to the River House, looking for Rhysand to offer him a proposition.

He eventually found the male in his office, pouring over documents on his desk. He also noticed Feyre, who was lounging on a couch nearby, a book in hand, while she kept an eye on Nyx who was sleeping peacefully in her lap. She smiled at the Shadowsinger as he approached Rhys suddenly feeling nervous about his choice to come to him.

“Can we talk Rhys?” Azriel said softly

“Of course, what about?” the High Lord responded giving the male in front of him his undivided attention.

“About y/n” Azriel said, fidgeting with his hands

Rhys eyes widened slightly, waiting to see exactly what the context was surrounding his interest in you. At the sound of your name, Feyre’s attention was immediately drawn to the conversation. She bookmarked her page and set her book on the nearest table, paying attention to what was going to be said while gently ensuring Nyx remained sleeping.

“I know that she left, and that she gave you all letters explaining why” Azriel began “and I think she left to escape something, I don’t know what, but I want, no, I need to make sure she is okay” Azriel said, Rhys face remained emotionless at the admission from his friend.

“If I could just- just see her letter to you then maybe I would feel better about her leaving, maybe it would give me context. Maybe it could give me a better understanding of why she felt she had to leave.�� Azriel said running his hands through his hair

“I’m sorry brother, I can’t do that” Rhys said gently

“Why not? Come on, its just a letter”

“Because if she wanted you to know why she left, she would have told you. she would have left you something. And her instructions were clear; we could tell you where she went and who she was with but not why she left. I’m sorry Azriel but I have to respect her wishes.”

“Then send me to the Day Court. For research, recon, something. anything” Az pleaded. Rhys simply raised his hand, a gesture for the Spymaster to stop talking.

“Absolutely not Az, I’m sorry but I am not going to send my spymaster to another court for no reason just so you can talk to y/n. She needed space from all of us and I am going to make sure she gets that. She will come back when she is ready to face her problems.” Rhysand said, his voice dominant and assertive.

Azriel’s shadows swirled around him, without another word he left. Winnowing back to the House of Wind.

Rhysand made his way to the couch where his mate sat with their sleeping babe. Gently maneuvering them so he could rest behind them. Feyre leaning herself back to rest her back against his chest as he ran soft comforting circles along her arms. Admiring his sleeping son.

“Do you think he knows” Feyre asked her mate softly

“No, we would know if he did” Rhys said gently “but I think he is putting the pieces together, it’s only a matter of time now before she tells him, the bond snaps, or he figures it out”

“Cassian spoke to him earlier and he thinks Az has feelings for y/n, feelings that exist outside of the bond” Feyre said

“I think his demeanor tonight revealed that” Rhys said with a roguish grin “I mean he wanted to read her letter or be sent to the Day Court just so he could see her. Obviously, he has feelings for her she’s only been gone a few days and he is losing it”

“I guess only time will tell” Feyre said, Rhys nodded in agreement pressing a kiss to her temple

“But for now, I think this should stay between us” Rhys said, Feyre simply nodded her attention focused on the babe in her arms who was slowly waking from his nap.

From outside the door, they were both unaware that another set of fae ears had been listening. A soft pair of footsteps quietly retreating from the office into the darkness of the hall.

Next Chapter ->

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