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starglow-xx · 3 years

Note

hello! may i request headcanons for chuuya having a crush on someone who's dense? like he could ask them out in the most straightforward way possible and it would still go over their head?

yes, yes of course you may!

sorry this took so long! my computer was out of commission for abt a week (or two..??)

but this is also my birthday writing piece for chuuya!! (4/29/21) i even added a small drabble thingy in addition to the hcs for the occasion hehe

from where i am, it is about fifteen minutes past midnight so it’s officially chuuya day here!!

happy birthday chuuya i love you! you deserve the whole world and everyone is willing to fight tooth and nail to ensure your happiness! we love you! 💗💗

anyways, i hope you all enjoy this! i kinda had some writer’s block but it was still a lot of fun to write! there might be some mistakes, but i’ll scan over it again later. reader is gender neutral! have fun!

chuuya having a crush on a dense! reader

nakahara chuuya x gn! reader

im cackling somebody help him

he’s frustrated bc you can’t take a hint or a thousand but he can’t even be mad bc he’s whipped

“look at you all dressed up today, wanna go out later? my treat?”

“oh really? thanks chuuya-san! you’re such a nice friend. i’ll go invite the others right now, i’ll see you later!”

“...”

fast forward to later in the evening and he finds himself at a little restaurant with the black lizard + higuchi and akutagawa

sigh

in unison all of them go, “thank you for the meal chuuya-san!” (except aku and hirotsu are quieter & and gin just a nods hehe)

“no problem” (ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

gin only pats him on the back in sympathy

he spends a lot of time trying to think of ways to make it absolutely and undeniably clear that he has feelings for you

he always fails

“(y/n) i like you”

“i like you too chuuya-san”

“really?”

“mhm”

“t-then will you—”

“you’re a really great friend! and superior too”

“...nevermind”

“oh were you saying something?”

“nah, just forget about it”

tachihara is laughing in the corner of the corridor

dont worry, chuuya made sure to get back at him

chuuya’s been pinning after you for years and frankly, his failed attempts to woo you has lead everyone to the breaking point

and i mean everyone

yes, even aku

hell even dazai

but dazai also thinks it’s funny, so he doesn’t mind all that much

okay bye bye dazai-san this headcanon set isn’t abt you rn

PLEASE EVERYONE FEELS SO BAD FOR HIM

they knew even if he kissed you, you still might not get it

so they decided to help him

super secret mission get chuuya and (y/n) together is a go!

they’re still working on a proper mission name, don’t mind them

they had a super secret strategy meeting!

you can bet your ass that they nearly got nothing done

akutagawa & kaiji weren’t much help, neither was higuchi, mori, or elise

tachihara nearly got killed for a thoughtless comment

“just tell them chuuya-san!”

“i already fucking did you ass!”

gin, hirotsu, and kouyou were the most helpful !!

hirotsu and kouyou both agreed on the idea that chuuya should try courting with bouquets of flowers instead of flat out asking you bc they knew you found them pretty

(even if you don’t identify as a female, flowers are for everyone no matter gender or sexuality! so let’s normalize giving flowers to everyone <33 )

gin didn’t speak but she used cards to communicate

everyone knew that you weren’t stupid (you wouldn’t have survived in the mafia if you were) but they did know that you were only stupid when it came to all this lovey dovey stuff

i mean, if chuuya gave you flowers every so often, there’s no way that you wouldn’t piece it together at some point

right...??

but kouyou assured him that even though you wouldn’t get it right away, you’d appreciate the gestures and that he’ll stand out more

she even said that if someone gave her flowers, she would appreciate it, whether or not she reciprocated their feelings

it takes guts to be so up front with your feelings after all

gin and hirotsu only nodded with her explanation

once again, this only provoked a reaction out of tachihara

“what do you know gin? i get the old man and kouyou-san, they’re grown, but you? what do you know abt courting? or flowers? what are you a girl?”

akutagawa choked on his cough, higuchi on air, and on the other side of yokohoma at the ada, dazai is cackling

yes, dazai somehow placed a listening device onto chuuya’s hat and was listening in

don’t ask how, it’s dazai

“DAZAI GET YOUR BANDAGED ASS OFF THE COUCH AND STOP LAUGHING”

anyways

the next day, chuuya did what was barely discussed and for once, things actually started to look up

until they started look to down again

at first, it actually looked like you understood his intentions after he gave you a bouquet of flowers

literally everyone was leaning against the opposite hallway you two were in and then they got excited !!

especially chuuya !

but then your expression sort of changed...??

and then in their heads they simultaneously went, “oh no”

they knew that expression

it was very familiar when you tended to friend zone chuuya

but boy let me tell you what you said next made them facepalm and or make their jaws drop

“ah, so you really are friend zoning me huh chuuya-san; what a shame, i really did like you”

LEMME TELL YOU WHEN I SAY THAT CHUUYA WAS DISTRESSED I MEAN HE WAS DISTRESSED

you liked him??

him of all people??

he wasn’t complaining, no of course not, but he still couldn’t believe it

but that wasn’t what he was really focusing on right now

what in any form or language did it say he was friend zoning you?!

flower language apparently

chuuya chose to buy the bouquet of yellow roses, pink carnations, and yellow carnations bc he thought you would appreciate the brighter colors, and so that you’d remember them better (because remembering them, meant remembering him)

but ooh boy

altogether, they meant the exact opposite message he wanted to send

someone help him pls

“you see chuuya-san, yellow roses mean friendship, pink carnations mean gratitude, and yellow carnations mean rejection; sooo in a nutshell, these pretty much say ‘thank you for being my friend, but im rejecting you”

no one can tell if tachihara is crying or wheezing

and dazai is having the time of his life

yes, he started listening in on him again

and chuuya is just stunned

like speechless and unmoving stunned

is he just bad at this whole courting/dating thing?? it’s only been one day and of it and somehow he was the one doing the rejecting??

“thank you for the flowers chuuya-san, i’ll be going now; i’ll make sure to let this affect our friendship. i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you passed by the not so subtle group of people

“tachihara-kun..?? are you alright?”

just for context, he was leaning his forehead against the wall using his forearm

again, it was hard to tell whether he was crying or wheezing

“i-im okay (y/n)-san...i think c-chuuya-san has it worse than me”

“...okay..?”

BACK TO CHUUYA

he’s still frozen poor baby

but it’s okay bc after like 5 more seconds he’s chasing you down the hallway you were walking in

kouyou, with a knowing smile on her face, ushers everyone away towards the opposite direction

she received some whines (ahem, tachihara and mori) but silenced them by summoning golden demon

but it’s okay

if they run fast enough, they can see what happens through the security cameras

chuuya caught up with you and tried to explain everything but he was exhausted

emotionally, physically (bc since when did you walk that fast??), and generally just tired with the whole situation

he just wanted to call you his; was that too much to ask??

as explosive as he can be, he can be calm and collected too

and he really did try to be that way as he talked with you but it was very difficult at the moment

the dumbfounded and confused look on your face his face twitch with annoyance and his heart started beating faster bc god you were cute

BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT RIGHT NOW

thank goodness after what seemed like years, you finally somewhat understood what happened

you didn’t understand completely but it was something

The two of you stood in the middle of the unusually empty hallway facing each other, you with the bouquet still in hand. It was quiet as you and Chuuya assessed the situation.

You looked at him skeptically and he stared right back you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“...So you do like me Chuuya-san??”

“Yes”

“And you were trying to court me just now, not friend zone me??”

“Yes”

You got most of your questions out of the way, but there was something that you’ve been wondering about for quite a while.

“...So you’re not gay for Dazai-san??”

“Yes, im not wait—GAY FOR DAZAI?? THAT MACKEREL??”

Chuuya did a double take. What in heavens name made it seem like he liked that suicidal maniac?? Why would he choose him if he had you?

Like he would choose him anyways; or ever consider him as a possible romantic partner.

“Oh, so you are?”

“NO! I SAID I LIKED YOU DIDN’T I?”

“Well yeah, but I thought you liked Dazai-san too. As annoying as he is, he can be quite charming—”

He was out of patience at this point (nope definitely not because you were talking about Dazai who told you that?) and just decided to kiss you.

You immediately melted into the kiss and kissed him back with the same amount of love and feeling.

Letting the bouquet fall to the ground, you wrapped you arms around his neck and his put his on your lower back and brought you closer to him. After a few more moments, the two of you broke apart for air.

The two of you, slightly out of breath, leaned your foreheads against each other and just basked in each others presence.

Chuuya looked into your (e/c) eyes and asked you just a little bit above a whisper, “Now do you get my intentions and feeling?”

You blinked at him before breaking out into a grin, “Hmm I’m not sure; do you wanna do that again Chuuya?”

The red head only blinked back at you before rolling his eyes, a smile present on his handsome features, his heart fluttering at you using his name with the honorific.

“Dumbass”

Smiling cheekily at him, you pressed a kiss on his cheek and started dragging him towards the lobby to take a walk around the building perimeter, knowing that the two of you can’t be too far from work.

The way down to the lobby was mostly in comfortable silence until you said something that made Chuuya want to bash his head against the wall.

“You know, you could’ve just told me you liked me Chuuya. It’s not like I would’ve said no.”

Once again, as the rest of the more power mafia members watch from security cameras, it is hard to tell whether Tachihara is crying or wheezing of laughter.

omake !!

The two of you just started making your way around the building when suddenly a very familiar voice came from Chuuya’s prized hat.

“Chuuyaaaa!! It was about time you stopped being a chicken, Chibi!”

Removing his hat from his head, he started yelling at it not knowing exactly where the listening device was planted.

“TEME! HOW DID YOU—”

“And (y/n)! I would congratulate you, but I think I would rather offer you my condolences. Why him?! He’s just a slimy slug. OOH OOH how would you like to join me in a double suicide?! A shame it won’t be a lover’s suicide but it’ll annoy Chuuya so I think it’ll be worth it! ”

“YOU—”

“And please don’t kiss while I’m listening in. You made me lose my appetite! And it was such a shame! I was eating crab using Kunikida-kun’s money! Do you know what you’ve cost me?!”

“DAZAI YOU PIECE OF—”

“Ah! Kunikida-kun is here! I have to go!”

You can hear something is the background that vaguely sounds like, “DAZAI YOU WASTE OF BANDAGES STOP USING MY MONEY”

“DAZAI DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE IM NOT DONE WITH—”

*Click!*

The click sound from the hat revealed that Dazai disconnected.

Chuuya twitched and glared furiously at his signature hat hating that the voice he hated the most came out of it.

“Aww, I didn’t get to talk to Dazai-san”

Chuuya whipped his head towards you, a look of mock (or real) betrayal showing on his features.

You laughed at him before taking the hat out of his hands and placing it on his head.

He shyly looked away before muttering a thanks making you smile wider. Just as the two of you were about to start walking, a small explosion erupted from his hat; it was likely that Dazai made the listening device self destruct.

“DAZAI YOU BASTARDD”

At the Armed Detective Agency, a certain suicidal maniac hid from the wrath of his current partner as he thought about the wrath his old one.

“Hmmm I wonder if Chuuya would finally stop wearing his ugly hats if I blow all of them up...”

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

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moodymelanist · 3 years

Note

Nessian prompt: modern au where Nesta gets those butt crack leggings to see cassians reaction like those tiktoks

*cackles maniacally* boy am I going to have fun with THIS prompt anon!!!!! Here's a link to one of the videos so everyone has context heheh

When Nesta saw her package had finally been delivered, she immediately went to the front desk to pick it up. Gwyn had sent her a video about these leggings that apparently did wonders in the ass department last week, and Nesta hadn't hesitated before ordering them. She was particularly interested in what her boyfriend's reaction would be.

The man in question was at the gym and he probably wouldn't be back for another hour; it would give her all the time she needed to make sure things looked okay. She opened the package once she was back upstairs to reveal the gray leggings everyone had been raving about online. They didn't look like anything special to her, but she supposed she should give them a chance before she decided they didn't do anything.

Nesta took off the sweatpants she'd been wearing before sliding into her new leggings. They were pretty comfortable and she walked over to the mirror in their bedroom to check herself out, shocked to see the leggings actually did a lot for her backside just like she'd been promised. She walked over to grab her phone and went back to the mirror to send a picture to Emerie and Gwyn and immediately received no less than five peach emojis from Emerie and an I told you so! from Gwyn.

Satisfied, Nesta decided to do some cleaning around their apartment while she waited for Cassian to get home. She straightened up their bedroom, started some laundry, and vacuumed the rug in their living room.

She was washing dishes in the kitchen when she heard his key in the lock. He came over to kiss her before walking towards the bathroom, and she was disappointed that he didn't notice anything until he walked back over.

"Nes," Cassian said, placing his large hands on her waist before openly ogling her backside. "What did you do to your ass?"

Nesta turned off the water before responding. "What do you mean?"

"Not that your ass doesn't always look great, but you did something different today," he said. He moved one hand to squeeze a cheek before giving it a light tap, absolutely fascinated as he watched her ass bounce. "You're trying to kill me a lot more than usual, sweetheart."

"Only a little more than usual," she said, smirking. "Gwyn sent me this TikTok about these leggings last week, so I thought I'd order them and see what all the fuss was about."

"I can definitely see what all the fuss is about," he muttered. He smacked her ass once more and then bent down to throw her over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Nesta exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

"Having my wicked way with you," he replied, walking toward their bedroom. "And I'm not letting you wear these out of the house. Screw feminism."

"You'll have to convince me about that," Nesta said.

Cassian chuckled before he tilted his shoulder downwards and let her slide down onto their bed. "Trust me, I can be very convincing."

#nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acosf #nessian #nessian prompts #anon asks #modern au

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happyandticklish · 3 years

Text

Sensitive Exploration

Notes: For the anon who requested a Hazbin fic with Angel and Alastor discovering each other’s death spot. Sorry this took so long, I had to get myself back into the mindset of the characters. I hope you enjoy the result!

Summary: Alastor has a tradition of tickling the different members of the hotel, and one day Angel decides to get him back.

“If you just tell me, this will be over faster you know.”

“F-Fahahahack yohohou!”

Angel Dust often wondered how so often he found himself on the receiving end of Alastor’s so-called “punishments”. It was a tradition he had started a while back, after he had poked Charlie in the side and she had squeaked in response. After Charlie had sheepishly explained her reaction to him, Alastor took it upon himself to fully test the sensitivity of everyone in the hotel, as he found the subject fascinating. Not that he wasn’t aware what tickling was, of course, but it had been a long time since he had encountered the concept in a real way. It became a habit that, whenever anyone in the hotel was feeling down or being particularly grumpy that day, Alastor would tickle them until they either smiled or learned their lesson.

Charlie had been his first target, of course, and by far one of the most willing recipients. Vaggie proved to be a challenge, and Alastor only braved her wrath a couple of times. Husk had protested, but once Alastor discovered that his wings were ticklish he had quickly crumpled under his devilish touch. Nifty was simply not ticklish, a discovery that disappointed both her and Alastor greatly.

That left only Angel Dust. By the time Alastor approached him, Angel had heard and seen the other’s experiences with the radio demon and was a begging mess of giggles before the other had even touched him.

Easily the most ticklish and the most cocky of the group, Angel was the most common recipient of Alastor’s whims of fancy. He could always tell when Alastor meant to tickle him, either by a certain gleam in his eyes or a smile that was slightly more slanted than usual. There was no use protesting, but Angel did so anyway, a nervous excitement bubbling up in his voice each time. Alastor would eventually back off, once he could see the other had had enough, but he made sure to give him the wrecking of a lifetime before then.

Currently, Alastor had tendrils wrapped around all six of Angel’s limbs, pinning each one to the wall. They were inside one of the hotel’s many guest rooms, as most were unused and Alastor had wanted their time to be interrupted. Alastor was currently scribbling fingers under the first pair of armpits, while four more tendrils attacked the rest. Angel was dying, helpless cackles and squeals breaking loose as he attempted to free himself from the other’s impossibly strong grip.

Alastor was on a mission that night. He had noticed while tickling the other residents that there was usually one spot on all of them that appeared far more sensitive than the rest of their body. However, whenever he was tickling Angel he tended to go all out and thus missed each particular reaction. Tonight, however, he planned to find the other’s so-called “death spot” and exploit it for all it was worth.

“Really, it’s only going to be worse if I have to find it myself,” Alastor commented briskly, switching between light scribbles over his armpits and digging in with his thumbs. The constant fluidity of the two methods seemed to be working wonders on the spider demon who was quickly in hysterics.

“I-I’m nohohot fuhuhucking tehehelling yohohou!” Angel spat, the venom torn from his voice as his words were followed by a flood of giggles. “D-Dohoho yohohour wohohorst!”

Alastor raised an eyebrow. “My, my. If I’m not mistaken, it almost seems like you want me to tickle you Angel. Is that the case? Hmm? Did I get it right?”

The blush flaming on Angel’s cheeks spoke louder than his words. “Shuhuhut uhuhup!”

“That’s not a denial.”

“Yohohour fahahace ihihisn’t ahaha dehehenial!”

“Clever comeback,” Alastor responded dryly. “Fine. Don’t tell me. I’ll simply find it all on my own.” He inspected the other critically. “Now, as sensitive as your armpits appear to be, I don’t think it’s your worst spot. Do you agree?”

Angel shook his head through his laughter, though it wasn’t clear if he was denying or affirming the statement.

“I wonder… this spot always seemed to cause quite a reaction.” With a snap of his fingers the tentacles tormenting his armpits disappeared. Angel sagged, momentary relief filling him, but in the next instant hands were squeezing his hips and electricity shot up his spine. He let out a startled yelp, his struggling increasing tenfold as he fought to get Alastor away from the area.

“And my efforts reward me.” Alastor smiled smugly, kneading his fingers into the skin. “Could this be the foretold death spot?”

“Sure! Suhuhure, yehehep, dehehefinitely!” Angel agreed, eagerly nodding his head and twisting frantically away from the surge of ticklish sensations. “Juhuhust stahahahap!”

“Sure?” Alastor wrinkled his brow. “Well that’s not very convincing.”

“Yehehes ihit ihihihis, ehehehe, stahahaha—nohoho, ahaha, pfft!”

Alastor absently spidered nails over the skin of hips, trailing down towards his lower stomach, as he considered where else the spot could be. Angel slammed his head back against the wall in frustration, squirming wildly as a cascade of wheezy squeaks escaped him. In a desperate attempt to get him to stop, Angel kicked out one of legs suddenly, trying to push the other back. Unfortunately, his resistance gave Alastor an idea.

“Ah! Right. Thank you for reminding me Angel.” He caught the other’s leg in his grasp, wrapping an arm around his ankle and locking the limb in place. “I completely forget about those knees of yours. So silly of me.”

Angel’s groan at his own self-caused destruction was cut off by a shriek as Alastor squeezed the spot right above his kneecap that had always killed him in the past. Angel burst into cackles, his leg jerking violently in the other’s hold. “No, no, no, no, no, nohohohoho! Ahahahalastor!”

“Yes?”

“Ihihihi—pfft, ahahahaha, ehehe, gahahaha!”

“You must use your words, dear.” He gripped his calf, holding his leg taut and spidering his claws over the undersides of his knees. Angel squeaked, desperation rising in his movements. “I really can’t understand a thing you’re saying.”

Angel was quite possibly going to kill him after this. Or thank him. Or both.

“Well as fun as this spot is,” Alastor said, his touches featherlight and unbearable against Angel Dust’s skin. “I think there’s another place I have declined to include in this exploration. Do you know where it is?”

“D-Dohohon’t yohohou fuhuhuhucking dahahahare!”

“Whatever are you referring to?” Alastor asked innocently, but already his claws were creeping perilously close to the other’s trembling thighs.

“Y-Yohou knohow whahahat!” Angel squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable with nervous excitement. “Ahahahal, I’m whahaharning yahaha—shihiHIHIHIT!”

Angel shrieked, arching back against the wall as fingers prodded and spidered all over his thighs. He tugged desperately at each of his arms, his legs, babbling out incoherent nonsense in a useless attempt to get Alastor to stop.

“Bingo,” Alastor said, smirking.

“Fuhuhuhuck, fuhuhuck, fuhuhuhuhuhUHUHUHUhuhuhuck! StahahAHAHAHAHAP! PLEHEHEASE!” Angel was losing his mind. His thighs had always been a kill zone, which was difficult in his line of work. Giggling in the middle of sex was not something most people were accustomed to. Not that he was particularly opposed to the combination of two of his favorite activities, but it was awkward giving out excuses afterwards. Now though, he was free to laugh and squirm all he wanted, which he did, energetically. “Ehehehe, ihihihit fuhuhuHUhucking tihihIHIHIHICKLES!”

“So it does,” Alastor exclaimed. “Astute observation. Well, I guess it’s good that you like it then.”

Angel grit his teeth, desperately wishing he wasn’t giggling like an absolute maniac so he could retain some semblance of dignity. “Yohohohou’re suhuhuhuhuhuch ahahaha dihihihick!”

“Language,” Alastor reminded him, squeezing a spot on his inner thigh that made Angel regret everything he’d ever done. “You wouldn’t want me to keep you like this forever.”

Angel’s eyes bugged out of his head at the thought as he fell into a whole new round of laughter.

As it was, he did not keep him forever but only for a couple more minutes before he finally released him. Angel let out a giggly sigh of relief, shakily supporting himself against the wall.

“That…” he panted, shooting him a glare. “Was completely uncalled for.”

“But Angel,” Alastor crooned in a way that altogether unfair. “How could I possibly resist tickling you when you look so cute laughing and helpless?”

Angel rolled his eyes, blaming the flush on his cheeks from his lack of breath. “Yeah, whatever. How would you like it if I pinned you down and tickled you whenever I felt like it?”

Angel may or may not have imagined the faint pink that tinged Alastor’s cheeks at the question. “Impossible,” he dismissed, waving a hand. “I’m not ticklish.”

“Bullshit,” Angel accused. “Everyone’s ticklish!”

Alastor shrugged. “Not me.”

“Fine then—prove it.”

“Prove it?” Alastor asked, arching an eyebrow. “And just how do you suppose I do that?”

Angel crossed his arms, leaning back confidently. “Let me tickle you.”

An unmistakable shudder made its way down Alastor’s spine at the proposition. In all fairness, even he wasn’t sure if he was lying or not. He hadn’t been tickled since he was still living, and not since he was a little boy at that. He was fairly certain he wasn’t ticklish, but there was no way of knowing for sure.

“Fine,” he said at last, calmly raising his arms above his head as though the position didn’t instantly fill him with a sense of debilitating vulnerability. “Go ahead.”

Angel had not expected the dare to work, and so was unreasonably excited at the scenario they now found themselves in. He stepped forward, placing four hands on his sides, the remaining two hanging limp by his sides and waiting for the right oppurtunity. Without any kind of prologue, Angel started quickly wiggling all twenty of his fingers against his sides and the result was glorious.

Alastor, who had not accounted for the amount of hands set against him, was overwhelmed by how unbelievably wrong he had been. He squeaked, bursting into a round of sudden giggles and attempting to somehow squirm away from the other’s touch while also not pulling his arms down or shoving him off.

“Holy shit,” Angel muttered, delight coloring his words. “You’re ticklish. This is amazing.”

“Ahahahahahaha, wahahahait, Ahahahangel! Ihihit feheheheels weheheheird!” Alastor protested, arms trembling above his head. He had completely forgotten how conflicting tickling felt, having not experienced in such a long time. A fluttery, unbearable sensation, he couldn’t decide if he wanted to rub the feeling away or have it last forever. It was truly a conundrum.

“Of course it feels weird,” Angel agreed, shaking his head incredulously. “It fucking tickles. But you know, I’m starting to feel like I can’t trust you to hold to our agreement. Maybe I’ll have to take matters into my own hands.”

His remaining arms reached up, securing Alastor’s wrists and pressing them and him back into the far wall. Their positions now reversed, the radio demon’s eyes widened as the true helplessness of his situation set in. Angel set in with a vengeance now, secure in the fact that the other wouldn’t fight back. Squeezing, poking, prodding, scratching, his fingers flew over Alastor’s torso in a manner that was altogether unfair and, of course, unbelievably ticklish.

“Wahahahait, wahahahait, stahahahahap!” Alastor protested, falling into a fit of laughter soon after. As it turned out, he was horridly sensitive everywhere and Angel took quick advantage of this fact.

“Why, Al? Is it bothering you?” Angel poked under his arms, scribbled fingers over his hips, squeezed the tops of his knees, kneaded his thighs, getting revenge on each and every spot that Alastor had tormented him with. Alastor yelped and jumped with each new method, wishing he hadn’t been quite so thorough in his own investigation. “Wow, you really are ticklish everywhere, huh? I can’t help but wonder though,” he said, parroting Alastor’s words from earlier. “Are these really your worst spots?”

“I-Ihihihihi dohohohon’t knohohohow!” Alastor replied honestly, desperately hoping it was because there was no way it could possibly get worse than this. He tugged frantically on his arms, shaking his head side to side in an attempt to somehow cope with the sensations.

The action gave Angel Dust an idea however. Alastor’s hair fell in his face, revealing those ears which had been a subject of fascination for the spider demon for quite some time. He narrowed his eyes, a thought occurring to him suddenly.

Leaving his armpits alone, his hesitantly scratched the soft material, his nails scratching devilishly against the spot where his ears connected to his neck. Alastor squealed, his shoulders coming up protectively as a flood of giggles spilled from his lips.

“A-Ah! Ahahahangel, wahahahait, thihihis ihihis tohohoo muhuhuhuch!” Alastor’s dignity was quickly crumbling. His chin came almost parallel to his chest as he attempted to trap the other’s fingers. “Ihihihi cahahahahan’t, plehehehease!”

“But you’re so cute,” Angel cooed, scratching right behind his ears and prompting a squeak from the other. “And I got to be honest, making you squeal like this is kind of fun.”

“YohohOHOHOHohohou—” Alastor started in angry embarrassment, but before he could get another word out, Angel moved his right hand over to the other ear as well and he broke off into staticky cackles.

“Holy shit man, is that radio static?” Angel exclaimed, fascination getting the better of him. “Does that happen when you laugh too hard?”

“STAHAHAHAP!” Alastor pleaded instead of answering, squeezing his eyes shut. “PleheEHEHEHease, STAHAHAP!”

“That’s adorable! I’m gonna have to do this more often!”

The thought was enough to send Alastor into an entirely new round of helpless laughter, and in a burst of clarity he managed to manipulate his shadows into seizing Angel Dust under the arms and pulling him away from him.

“Woah, hey, easy there,” Angel complained as the tentacles roughly escorted him on the ground. “This is prized real estate here, fellas.”

Alastor sagged against the wall, exhausted. His nerves were overstimulated from the sudden attack and he clutched his sides, trying to rub away any leftover sensation. “That was…”

“Awful?” Angel guessed, clambering to his feet. “Unbearable?”

“Exhilarating,” Alastor corrected, flushing gently. “I never realized how, ah, intense tickling could be. I can see now why you react so strongly each time.”

“Yeah,” Angel grumbled in agreement. “It’s not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure.” He paused, paling slightly. “You’re not gonna… uh, you know, do anything to me, are ya? Because you have to know I was just kidding around and I would never—”

“Angel,” Alastor interrupted. “I’m not going to do anything to you.”

“Oh.” Angel frowned. “You’re not?”

“No. In fact, I… I wouldn’t be opposed, necessarily, to a repeat of earlier if the right moment ever came.” Alastor spoke plainly as always, but there was a nervous tilt to his words now. “It is possible that I may have enjoyed parts of it.”

Angel stared at him, sure that he was imagining things. Was the radio demon, the terror of hell, actually admitting to liking being tickled? And revealing this information to him, Angel Dust, no less?

Before he could formulate a response, Alastor was moving past him and down the hall, calling out to Nifty and Husk at the bottom of the stairs about some new idea or renovation he had for the hotel—acting as though he hadn’t just admitted the biggest revelation of Angel’s life seconds before. After a moment, Angel returned to his room as well, though Alastor’s words never left his mind for a second.

Life was much different in the hotel after that.

#tickle fic #hazbin hotel #angel dust #alastor #radiodust #tickling #fanfic #fanfiction #fic request #requests #cartoons

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years

Text

Among Us: Mansion Edition

Aight because I’m feeling stupid--I’m talking absolutely Willy Wonka--in this Chili’s tonight, I think it’s time I inundated you all in random crack ass Among Us Headcanons for the mansion. In no particular order:

-Y’all see this post? This right here is Leo and MC. Don’t even @ me. He’s such a bastard and she glares at him the whole time while he just fucking dies laughing in their room. When Theo finds out? He howls with laughter too, later high fives Leo

-Dazai, Sebas, and Comte are the MOST sus players on earth. Like these mofos will handle accusations so calmly and dismantle them so quickly nobody fucking knows what they're actually doing??? The others always skip until there’s hard evidence, but because of that they will often survive by the time the tasks are done

-Every single time Arthur has even the slightest bit of suspicion directed at him for being the imposter, everyone just immediately votes him off. Half the time he isn’t the imposter, and every single time people can hear Theo cackling from wherever he is

-One of the easiest ways to narrow down Theo as the imposter is to see how long Vincent survives HAHAHA (Vincent takes 13 yrs to do tasks)

-Since Vincent struggles with tasks a lot, Theo will often do buddy system (MC will often tag along too--but Theo will just straight up kill her when he’s imposter and tell Vincent she’s busy with another task LMFAO Vincent always scolds him after)

-Isaac hates being imposter. With every. Fiber. Of. His being. HE HATES IT!!! He vents, they see him immediately, they boot him. FML. Also gives himself away because he will usually kill Dazai and Arthur first, and stutters like a maniac trying to defend himself--has no good alibi in a pinch LMAO

-Isaac groans every single time he gets a task in the electrical room. His palms start sweating because he just knows someone is going to sneak in and snap his neck while frantically trying to connect wires. Arthur most often kills him that way just because he finds it hilarious to hear Isaac curse

-Leo, Arthur, and Shakespeare are the ones most known to sabotage while they’re imposters. Leo just loves being a headache of a person, Arthur finds it most efficient to murder in the course of the chaos (after there’s a kind of false sense of security, he picks them off), while Shakes just love watching everyone scatter desperately like mice.

-Shakespeare is 100% that imposter that like stays beside Vincent the whole time while he’s doing tasks, playing buddy system, and then the second the game is about to end just straight up murders him in cold blood out of nowhere

-Comte will almost always enact petty revenge if someone kills MC early in the game--or at all. Catch this mofo finishing his tasks lightening speed and sitting at the security monitors, slamming the emergency button the second he’s deduced who the culprit is. He’s usually the fastest to figure it out; how quickly he responds is another matter lol

-Jeanne gets caught in milliseconds because he won’t even care about the mechanics of the game, and finds sneaking boring/stupid/too much effort (also just bad with technology, it takes him forever to learn the controls). Will at least attempt to kill in isolation, but otherwise doesn’t much care about being stealthy--and so is often caught fast (always kills Comte first much to the man’s dismay)

-Mozart is...surprisingly good at the game? Not quite as skilled as the trio mentioned earlier, but he’s very good at coming up with air-tight alibis and employs a slow, methodical approach. Will have 5 or 6 of them dead before anyone suspects it’s him, kills randomized targets, and will frequent the security room while people are trying to figure out who it is. Will do buddy system with Jeanne, and will usually find the imposter to avenge his good friendo--otherwise just does tasks and chills if he ain’t imposter

-Leo just plays to have fun! He’s good at it but doesn’t really go hard enough to evade suspicion for very long if he’s imposter, mostly kills people he thinks will be most frustrated with being killed/least suspecting. People are usually yelling at him to complete his tasks bc he often zones out when he becomes a ghost LMFAO

-Leo and Comte sometimes do the buddy system, but honestly? They just devolve into murdering each other so fucking fast it’s pointless AHHAHAHAHHAHAH they’re just constantly squinting at each other; they don’t trust the other as far he can throw him (Idk if y’all have seen any of Vanoss’ streams on yt but I just keep seeing that clip of him in MedBay getting scanned and going “nogla you gonna kill me? just fucking kill me you fucking french bastard” when nogla lingers a little next to him and I start wheezing because all I see is literally Leo and Comte)

-Napoleon rarely gets imposter, so he’s usually spearheading the crewmate effort. Gets his tasks done very quickly (if he doesn’t get murdered; though he often has Isaac for buddy system) and camps outside the security room after making a few rounds. Usually figures out who it is fairly quickly--though his accuracy is spotty

-If Napoleon is imposter he tends to have a hard time killing people, so he’ll literally just pretend to do tasks and vibe until the time runs out. It’s the inactivity and aimlessness that tends to give him away

-MC tries to be stealthy, but she usually times her kills poorly or gets walked in on. Sometimes she manages to conceal the body or her boo looks the other way to let her indulge in the fun, but otherwise she gets found as imposter fast

-There are a few legendary rounds where MC manages to fool most of the house into thinking she’s a crewmate because they’re so busy pointing fingers at each other she just skates by easy, but she always feels horrible after for betraying their trust (the men all silently agree it was uproarious)

-Vincent as imposter is fucking hilarious because he’ll just turn himself in???? Like he won’t even try. Everyone will tell him it’s okay if he gets a little stabby--it’s part of the game--but he just has no heart for it. Theo will often switch devices with him to relieve him of the stress. These rounds are always so chaotic because it usually takes the residents a second to deduce the switcheroo

-You know how I said Shakespeare plays buddy and then kills Vincent in cold blood? The hilarious inversion of this is that Dazai will often try to follow Isaac to protect him but Isaac will run away, so they will often be chasing each other all over the map LMFAOOOO Dazai will do this regardless of whether he is imposter or not, so there’s really no way to tell if he’s just messing with Isaac or has a lurking killer intent

-If Theo is imposter? Pandemonium. He will kill people off one by one in isolation and vent so fast nobody can figure out who did what, always paying close attention to the tasks that need doing so he has a solid alibi. Because Vincent tends to believe him and verifies easily, it can take a little longer for people to figure out it’s Theodorus. Arthur and Dazai tend to be the ones that are the first to suspect it’s him

-Sebastian will often be doing his tasks, just chillin. One can usually see him buddy system with Napo and/or MC. He loves to watch the other men be imposter and notes down their go-to tactics and reactions to killing and being killed in the game; especially if it’s uncharacteristic of them. All well and good right?

-Sebastian as imposter? The funniest shit in the world. He’s similar to Isaac in that he hates it, mutters apologies and grimaces every time he has to kill people (note: he does not include Arthur and Dazai among people, sometimes smiles a little if he takes them out;;;;). Will lie convincingly only because his voice/writing does not waver--his stoicism serves him well. When he has to kill Napoleon, though? Forget it. He apologizes a million times after, but honestly Napo just finds it hilarious--will just be like “well-played, Sebas, as expected of our resourceful butler.” Sebas still. Feels guilty. Like you can literally look at the chat history and see Napo as ghost like “AAHAHAHHA oh he killed my ass, nice” while MC’s like “lolol” and Jeanne like “he got me good too, never saw him coming in nav”

-Person who gets killed the least? Vincent (I mean come on, it’s Vincent.) MC is runner-up. They don’t like killing her, but there are a lot of idiots in the mansion that do it just to get a rise out of her (cough Leonardo/Dazai) or just because she’s an easy target in the moment

-Person who gets killed the most? Usually Arthur, runner-up Isaac (Arthur because everyone seeks to get back at him for his shenanigans irl, Isaac because he tends to get indecisive/nervous)

-Also this happens to Dazai once as imposter (Isaac plans it out of sheer spite) and the entire mansion was wheezing about it for weeks

In-game Colors:

Comte: yellow/white/black (when he’s feeling emo) + little baby accompaniment or party hat Napoleon: black or green, cyan when he’s feeling chaotic + sergeant/army hat Leonardo: brown + toilet paper roll Vincent: yellow + green sprout Theo: dark blue or red (feral energy) + cowboy hat or gladiator helmet Isaac: pink + cherry Arthur: dark blue or lime + backwards cap Dazai: purple or yellow + toilet plunger or bird’s nest Jeanne: always purple + “DUM” sticky note Mozart: cyan + surgical mask Shakes: red or orange + flamingo hat Sebas: always black + either the ninja mask or the chef hat

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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

Note

me, nodding of to sleep: IM HERE IM HERE

did my head just loll to the side? you will never know. first of all this chapter was the most beautiful thing i have ever read. Mavid have my HEART. It's also 4 16 am so im sorry if the reactions are a little bland but this was PERFECT.

me, throughout the whole thing: mavid mavid mavid

They had kissed for the first time almost a week ago. And they had kissed again. A couple of times.

Okay fine, they had kissed a lot since then.

Not a lot a lot. But a lot.

Wait a minute. How much kissing was a lot of kissing?

this is adorable

“I heard he cried when he found out Lexi and Liv were dating,” David chuckled.

yup that's jace

“We have to pay to talk on the phone?” Max asked incredulously. “I thought it was free.”

“Of course it isn’t free, Max!” David chuckled. “We have to pay for WiFi too.”

“This is ridiculous!” Max said. “Next you will say we have to pay for electricity.”

“Um, we do have to pay for electricity,” David chuckled again.

we pay for water too

but max you didnt know-

“Don’t let them guilt trip you!” Max had chastised. “They like doing chores. Let them do it. They fight demons all day and then come home and do chores. I feel like it’s their form of therapy. They need this.”

cant relate nope

“I don’t know,” Max groaned. “My family is so dramatic.”

the lightwood-banes in one sentence

THERE ARE SO MANY FEELS MY HEART CANNOT CONTAIN

“Well, too late!” Max announced. “This date is going to be the best first date in the history of first of dates.”

In retrospect, he really shouldn’t have said that.

nah its gonna be great

“Perhaps you should just take him to the New York Library. They have, uh, books.”

yes that is what they keep in libraries

OH MY GOD THE FRIEND IS ELYASS

HERE'S MY FAVORITE DEMON Y'ALL

His parents would not be pleased if they knew Max was summoning demons for relationship advice.

But they had also encouraged Max to make friends with everyone regardless of their identity. So, technically this was their fault. They gave him very mixed messages.

well-

you know i really shouldnt have laughed at the demon attack news but for some reason i did

i blame my sleep deprivation

shit i feel sick

you know maybe i shouldve just waited till the morning...

ok but the demon attack is NOT coincidental

there is something going on

“I thought dragon demons were extinct!” Max yelled over the commotion.

well-

ANJALI

“Man, fuck the orders!” Max said in frustration.

if you get hurt ill kill you

oh it's not her

well fuck

“That was an Armani, you piece of shit!” Rafael yelled at the demon. Max almost laughed.

THE AUDACITY

It really did. Dragon demons smelled like they lived inside a boys locker room.

well that's nice to know

FUCK THEY ARE TALKING NOW???

ok what is going on

“Say the thing!!!”

“I’m not saying the damn thing, you maniac!”

“Say the thing!”

Rafael groaned and raised his hands, the alliance rune lighting up.

“I’m not just a shadowhunter,” Rafael said through gritted teeth. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”

LMAO THEM

“Well, demons are stupid,” Max pointed out.

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Rafael said with a mouthful of food. “You are half demon after all.”

Im so sleepy i cant even react to this

but THEM I CANT-

WHERE.IS.ALEC

Max wanted to laugh. Only David would worry about another person while being injured in the infirmary.

MUST BE PROTECTED

Max nodded; his throat still dry. He couldn’t stop staring at David. At the wound. At the blood.

Also, maybe the naked chest.

AHEM

OH MY GOD JAIME IS ALIVE

we're getting lightwood-bane fluff LET ME CRY

alec...

on one hand alec smoking is fucking hot BUT WITH THE MUNDANE DISEASES OH HELL NAH

“But it tastes so good when it’s from your plate!” Max said with a mouth full of food.

“Oh, you want my food? Here!” Rafael grinned and threw a piece of chicken at his face.

Max caught it with his mouth cause wasting food was a crime. “Thanks, bro!”

“You little s-”

HE CAUGHT IT IN HIS MOUTH

“And no fighting over chicken!” Bapak pointed out. “We can always summon some more.”

“Order,” dad corrected. “We don’t summon. We order. And then we pay.”

“How do we destroy capitalism if we have to pay for everything?” Max asked.

Max has a point y'know

“That’s rich coming from someone who is wearing an Armani jacket,” Max stuck out his tongue.

“It was a gift!” Rafael said, furiously chewing on his chicken.

“Does that mean Bapak is a capitalist?” Max asked.

LMAO

Max: What even-

Max: Can shadowhunters get high on iratzes lol

CAN THEY???

David: Mr Herondale yelled “Yes! Two out of three!”

MOOD

PLEASE RAFAEL AND MAGNUS ARE LIKE "About time"

SAME THOUGH

“David is what you get if Dad and Uncle Jace and Uncle Jem had a baby.”

STOP NO

“Oh,” Max said. “Uh, David and I…We are dating.”

Dad choked on his coffee. “Excuse me?”

Bapak chuckled next to him. “Of course you didn’t know.”

“You two are dating?” dad demanded. “Since when? Who else knows about this? Why didn’t you tell us before? Were you dating when you were in London? Magnus, did you know about this?”

“There you go!” Max yelled triumphantly. “That’s the dramatic reaction I was looking for. Thanks, dad!”

There's alec. Yup

OH MY GOD NOT THE SEX TALK

good thing i had wattpad I MEAN-

“Kissing?” dad gaped. “On the mouth???”

“Um, where else would we kiss?” Max asked incredulously.

“Well, actually,” Bapa cleared his throat. “There are many ways you can enjoy-”

IM CACKLING

And that’s how the next hour turned out to be the most painful and most embarrassing hour of his life.

Max decided he would rather get attacked by a hoard of dragon demons than sit through it any longer

“You guys know we have something called the internet, right?” Max demanded.

“Well, the internet can have mixed messages,” Bapak sniffed. “We on the other hand have real life experien-”

“Magnus!” dad looked red in the face.

“Fine,” Bapak sighed. “Now moving on to the importance of lubrication and-”

“I’m begging you to stop,” Max groaned.

THE NOISES WHICH LEFT MY MOUTH ARE NOT OK TO BE MAKING AT 3 30 AM

“I’ll have you know this conversation utterly traumatized me. I demand financial compensation.”

HE'S SO DRAMATIC

“Well,” dad said carefully. “David is…”

“French?” Max asked.

i blame my sleep deprived ass for laughing at this

next thing i know someone's being tortured and im laughing because i dont have sleep in my system

Max honey...

listen to him

i for one, dont want a repeat of pg 511 cols

oh he's finding out about the incident

that's what i call it

Max thought of all the stories he had heard then. The one of the warlock who killed people who he could bring back his dead girlfriend. The one about a nephilim mother who paired up with prince of hell to bring back her dead son.

oh yeah...

shudder

They called it The Jem effect.

AYYYYY

It was true. In fact, he used to have a crush on both Tessa and Jem. It’s how he had found he was bisexual.

very very valid. have a good day sir

AWW MAX DIDNT KNOW HE COULD BLUSH

you know it's a sign ive been watching b99 too much that i was imagining mina talking like gina...

pls send help

ALSO MINA BESTEST SDCHJDFVYDYUGFYUGFVDYVFD

“Can we not talk about my boyfriend’s sperm, please?”

im surprised my parents havent woken up by the sound i let out

BUT HEY THE DOOR'S CLOSED SO

SUGGENS MINA

“I’m hearing an inflated sense of self-importance,” he heard Ragnor call from the bathroom. “Is Magnus here?”

“Just the spawn,” Max called back.

THE SPAWN BYE-

“He is married to the Consul!” Tessa chuckled. “And one of his sons is a shadowhunter.”

“It’s still very bad for our reputation,” Ragnor grumbled. “He is too close with shadowhunters.”

“You are the headmaster of Scholomance!” Catarina said incredulously. “You teach nephilim! Even though you don’t need a job!”

“I was coerced!” Ragnor huffed. “Manipulated by the children of the angel.”

really ragnor?

The grin disappeared and Ragnor buried his face on Catarina’s shoulder. “I can’t go through this again, Cat! Not again!”

“So much for not taking up after his father, huh?” Catarina chuckled and looked at him. “That’s nice, Max. We are happy for you.”

“We are not!” Ragnor said in a muffled voice.

RAGNOR DJHDCUHUKIHDVVFDDB

OOOO MAX DIDNT KNOW ABOUT CAMILLE

a kind of endless love...

dont make me cry

“I know you are worried, love,” Tessa’s voice was a whisper. “You are worried about surviving after David. You are worried about your own heart. But you should never let that fear stop you from finding love. Because love is what sustains us immortals. It keeps us alive. When you love a mortal, you love them forever. You might not remember all the memories. The colour of their eyes or the sound of their voice. But you will remember the love. You will carry that love inside you forever. It does not make you weak or fragile. It makes you stronger. And you will forever be grateful for it.”

my eyeballs are too tired to cry

stop it

THEY SAID I LOVE YOU

I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOM

bitch you hate children wtf-

Max laughed. “I’m going to kill dad for making us do this. God, this is so weird!”

better get it done now

HE'S DAVID'S FOREVER

dont do this to me at 4 am

“You should two should some spend time together. Get to know each other and all of that,” Max suggested with a smile. “Maybe you can bond over archery or something.”

“I’m pretty sure he would use me for target practice,” David mumbled.

“Don’t be ridiculous, David!” Max said incredulously. “My father doesn’t need target practice!”

At this point, a David and alec scene isn't a want its a NEED

“I got it all planned,” Max said – for someone who had no idea what he was going to do.

me throughout life

max Rafael isn't the one smoking-

OH MY GOD MY DAD JUST CAME TO CHECK ON ME THE WAY I SLAMMED MY LAPTOP

“Also tell him to stop smoking!” Max pointed out seriously. “It’s not good for his health! Especially with all the mundane illnesses going on.”

“I know, Max,” dad sighed heavily and blinked. “I mean, I’ll talk to him. For sure.”

Alec if anything happens to you...just know ill raise hell

“I don’t want easy,” David smiled. “I want you.”

IT'S 4 AM DUDE

AYYY THE SHANGHAI SHADOW MARKET

CELESTIAL PALACE

“Dad? The Consul? That dad?” David looked surprised and relieved all at once. “Oh my god, he doesn’t hate me!”

“Of course he doesn’t hate you!” Max chuckled. “But he did say he will put your nerd ass in the silent city if you don’t bring me home by 11.”

of course, he did

oh my god SLEEP. there is so much to do tomorrow dying...my grammar was really bad and I don't have what it takes to use Grammarly's corrections except for the ones it's already doing as type.

this chapter had my heart BURSTING!! AHHHHHHH

the talk was so important I'm so glad they took care of that. ok imma head to bed now BYEE

Eeeeeee this was a lot sfkjdfkd I hope you are okay. Get some sleep next time or I will call the police.

Thank you as always for reading, reacting and supporting 💚

#lbaf

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lilacivories · 4 years

Text

caught red-handed

characters: Diego, Klaus, Allison

pairing(s): none

summary: Diego and Allison catch Klaus going through Allison’s things again and decide that a suitable punishment is in order

word count: 1979

––––––––––––––––

When Diego passed by Allison’s room, what he didn’t expect to hear was thumping, shuffling, and swearing in a voice that definitely wasn’t his sister’s.

His curiosity successfully piqued, Diego backtracked.

Of course, the villain in question was Klaus, who was squirming around in Allison’s closet like a fish out of water. From the looks of it, he was struggling to detach one of the skirts from its hanger. Among the cursing, Diego was able to hear some mutterings, presumably towards Ben.

“You’re gonna tear it if you keep pulling like that, y’know.”

Klaus yelped and spun his head around, his hands remaining on the hanger. “Diego!” he said with a grin. “What a surprise! Oh, and what a prize I’ve found here. Won’t you give me a hand, oh dearest brother?”

Diego moved closer, wondering what could possibly be hindering him (besides the height of the clothing rack, which was honestly ridiculous). It was only then that he saw what looked like a pair of handcuffs attached to the clothing rack that had Klaus’s wrists in their grip, hidden between two of the skirts Klaus had been attempting to pilfer.

Diego couldn’t help but smirk. “What in the hell did you do to yourself?”

“It wasn’t me!” Klaus insisted. “Allison must’ve set up some damn booby trap and now I’m stuck!” He pulled again on the cuffs, but they held fast, and effectively kept his arms restrained above his head. “Diego, help me!”

“I dunno, man,” Diego shrugged, unable to wipe the smile from his face, “you kinda deserve it. Allison did tell you to stay away from her stuff.” He took another look at his brother. “Are you already wearing one of her skirts?”

Klaus shimmied his hips so that the knee-length skirt swung around invitingly. “Yeah, but she’s loaded! She can afford a million of these, and I’m out here having to steal to get by in the fashion world! It’s a capitalist scheme, is what it is!”

“I don’t think you’re in the position to be making claims like that.”

Klaus kicked a leg out at him. “Oh, shut up and let me out of here.”

Thanks to years of practice, Diego deftly caught the offending leg and held it by the ankle. “You’re also not in the position to be threatening the only person who can help you right now.” Klaus was only wearing socks, so it certainly wouldn’t have hurt Diego in any case, but the idea of tormenting his brother was always on the table.

“No no no!” Klaus struggled to break Diego’s grip in vain. “Let go! Ben, he-elp!” The last word broke off as a squeal when Diego squeezed the spot just above his knee over and over.

“This is almost too easy,” Diego gloated over the laughter pouring out of his brother. “I’m barely doing anything to you!”

“Shut up!” Klaus struggled for footing on the one leg he had at his disposal, and that combined with his high-pitched laugh and scrunched nose had Diego laughing, too.

“Looks like my idea was a success.”

Diego dropped Klaus’s leg at the voice from behind him. Allison was standing in the doorway, eyebrow cocked and arms crossed, looking very pleased with herself.

Feeling a bit abashed at having been caught, Diego cleared his throat and changed the subject. “I’m kind of impressed, they’re holding really well. Where did you get them?”

Allison walked in to stand beside Number 2, sparing Klaus an amused glance as she replied. “I told Pogo that a certain someone was sneaking into my room and going through my personal things. He seemed particularly interested in catching...” She looked pointedly at Klaus, “...whoever it is, so he and Mom made those for me to attach to the inside of my closet. Pretty hi-tech, huh?”

Klaus took the opportunity to try and weasel his way out of the prison of his own making. “Allison! Please, save me! All I wanted was to bond with you over our mutual love of fashion, and Diego’s been torturing me!”

Diego and Allison caught each other’s eye. “Is that so?” Allison asked.

“Yes, it’s been just awful! You’ve got to get me out of here!”

Allison feigned innocence. “What was he doing that was so awful?”

Diego almost laughed at the sight of Klaus, strung up and helpless, open and close his mouth like a gaping fish at the question. “What?” he finally squeaked.

“What was Diego doing to you?”

It was always a pleasure to see Klaus at a loss for words, and this time was no exception. All he could answer, after a short silence, was: “Nothing!”

“Nothing?” Allison asked. She took a step towards him; the click of her heels on the floor was intimidating all on its own. “So if Diego wasn’t doing anything, that means that...you lied to me.”

“I– I– I mean–”

“And it means,” she continued, “that you have not yet been properly punished for going through my things without permission.” Her smile was pure evil. “So I think that this calls for a double punishment. Don’t you, Diego?”

Diego’s grin matched hers. “Couldn’t agree more.”

“W-wait, we can talk about this– Nonono, not that!”

Diego looked over to find what had Klaus so riled up and panicky. He was thrilled to find that the source of his brother’s fears were Allison’s long, pristine yellow nails that she was hovering dangerously over his bare sides.

“Looks like your crop top backfired this time, bro,” Diego chuckled, giving him a warning prod at his ribs, which Klaus shrieked at.

Allison considered this. “Or maybe he’s exactly where he wants to be.” Then she grinned at Klaus. “Any last words?”

“Yes, I’d like to exact my right to filibuster–”

The moment Allison’s nails touched down on his sides, he was gone; he threw his head back and laughed his heart out. Her technique was gentle and slow– yet unrelenting, following Klaus’s desperate twisting with ease.

“I didn’t know you’d like my nails so much!” she taunted. Klaus responded with a loud snort when she dragged her nails over where his sides met his lower back and tickled there. “Oh my god– Diego, you gotta look at him.”

Diego left his position from behind their victim, where he had been pinching his upper ribs, to see what she was talking about.

“Oh my god. You’re blushing?”

Klaus, still laughing, shook his head. It was too late, however, as it was very clear to everyone that his ears and cheeks were a glaring pink that only grew darker with the attention.

“He definitely is.”

“Shuhut the hell uhup!” Klaus insisted. “You’re so meaheahean!”

“Ooo.” Diego clucked and shook his head. “And we were even thinking of letting you off easy.” He considered it, and then decided to go for the kill. “Say, Allison, I think you could put those nails of yours to good use right...here.” He gave Klaus’s belly a poke.

The reaction from both was immediate. Allison’s eyes filled with a maniacal energy that neither of them had ever seen before; she flexed her fingers at Klaus in warning, letting that one action do all of the talking for her.

Klaus, on the other hand, was begging, as if for his life. He thrashed in his bonds, tried to back up as much as possible with his legs, but one push from Diego behind him brought him right back to square one.

“Nonononono, Allison, wait, don’t– wait! Ahallison, this isn’t fair! Do you want a new skirt, I can do that! I just need some time– AAH!”

He couldn’t have been more vulnerable to her every move. Her long nails touched down on the soft skin of his belly and dragged themselves up to his ribs, then all the way back down and around. Allison looked very proud of herself indeed when she discovered that spidering her nails into his belly had Klaus caught between hiccuping, snorting (which he seemed to get bashful about, because he turned a new shade of pink every time he did so), and cackling hysterically.

Diego, meanwhile, had found a home at that horrible, awful spot under his arms just above the tops of his ribs, and dug into it with vigor. Klaus’s writhing was sometimes so vehement that he had to duck out of the way, but he always came back to it because he knew how much it wrecked his poor brother.

After some time, they gave him a break.

“So,” Allison prompted, “are you sorry?”

Klaus, to his credit, recovered faster than expected, and after a minute was able to respond, “You know I can’t apologize for art.”

Allison quirked an eyebrow at him. “Would you like to apologize for breaking and entering?”

Klaus considered this. “Well, really, you never close your door, so in a way, it’s kind of your fault!”

Diego scoffed. “You’re really asking for it this time, huh?”

“I’m just saying, I think she should be okay with sharing if she’s not even gonna shut her door all the way!”

Allison was finished listening, however. She put an arm around Klaus’s waist; her oversensitive brother jumped, and was already biting back a smile as she effectively kept him from wriggling away.

“That was the wrong answer,” she said. Then, with just her pointer finger, she started drawing maddening little circles around his navel, occasionally moving to tickle inside of it before returning to the outer edge.

Klaus pretty much went ballistic at this, writhing so much in her grasp that Diego had to step in and attempt to keep him still while she continued.

“Oh my god,” Allison laughed. “You are actually the most ticklish person on the entire planet.”

“Nohohoho!” Klaus wailed. “Dohon’t! Stohohop it!”

“Don’t stop?” Diego teased, and gave his sides a few squeezes where he was holding him still.

“Pleaheahease!”

“Please don’t stop,” Allison corrected. “Good to see he’s finally learning some manners, at least.” With her free hand, she spidered her nails on the underside of his belly, at the oversensitive strip of skin between his hips; she and Diego both laughed at the full-body thrash Klaus did that looked like more like a weird dance move than anything else.

“Okay! Okay!” Klaus cried. “I’m– I’m sahaharry!”

His sister only continued, putting on a faux-confused look. “I don’t think I know that word. Do you, Diego?”

“Can’t say I do.”

Klaus shook his head wildly. “Nahahaa! I cahan’t! I can’t! I cahahan’t!”

At long last, the two relented.

“So, what was that you said before, Klaus?” Allison prompted.

Klaus panted, still giggling. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I swear I’m sorry!”

“Damn,” Diego chuckled. “I think you actually broke him. I’ve never heard him apologize before.”

Allison made a show of blowing on her nails. “These bad boys never fail.”

Diego checked on their victim, who seemed to be loopy with unending giggles. “You alright there, man?”

“That...was wild.”

“Oh!” Allison jumped up. “I just remembered one other thing that drove him wild when we were kids.”

Without so much as a warning, Allison blew a big, silly raspberry into Klaus’s ribs. Klaus snorted and shrieked and kicked his legs, and then it was over.

Allison pulled a remote control from her jacket pocket and pressed a button; the cuffs released Klaus, who would have collapsed on the floor if not for Diego standing by to catch him and help ease him to lie down on the bed.

“You had that the entire time?” Klaus demanded, though it wasn’t a very serious inquiry with his absurd smile.

She shrugged. “Of course I did. I just needed to remind you who’s in charge here.”

Klaus swore and fell back on the bed. He couldn’t wait to see if he could find anything else in Allison’s closet in a few days.

#tua #mine #klaus #ticklish!klaus #diego #allison #2 #3 #4

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reddesertcolbs · 4 years

Text

new girl // colby brock

this made me sad

requested: yes

summary: you’re colby’s best friend and he has been ditching you for his new girl, so you decide to give him a piece of your mind.

word count: 2.7k+ words.

warnings: mention of parties and alcohol, a few swear words, angst

masterlist

it is wednesday, which means it is pizza night for the whole group. not going to lie, you adored pizza night because it was the only time everyone got together without any distractions, the only distraction is when the boys battle each other on their games, but it’s a good distraction.

however, this pizza night is different from any other pizza night. the vibe is completely off, as everyone watches colby introduce a girl who he has been talking to for a couple of weeks.

you are still yet to meet the mystery girl, as colby has been very distant with you since she came into his life. any spare time that he had with you, has now changed to him spending time with her. recently, he has started to cancel plans that the two of you had together last minute, which not going to lie, has pissed you off because it’s so not like him.

you and colby were best friends, and you were practically joint at the hip. even though you were supposed to be made up for your best friend finally meeting someone who feels right, you can’t stop the jealousy that is bubbling in the pit of your stomach. now, this isn’t because you fancied him or because you wanted to be his girlfriend, you just felt nervous of the idea of a new girl being in his life.

colby made quick eye contact with you, and gave you a quick smile before turning his attention to the girl in front of him. you watch, as he wraps his arms around her waist, and leans in to whisper something in her ear and she chucks her head back as soft giggles fall from her lips.

your gaze is diverted from colby and the girl, to sam, who is shouting at you from the opposite side of the room and waving his arm like a maniac to gain your attention.

“y/n!” he shouts, waving a ping pong ball in the air. “devyn needs a team player, you’re up.”

you nod, picking up your drink from the floor and stroll towards sam, kat and devyn who are standing by the pool table. upon arriving, you take a gulp of the drink, and place the now empty cup on the edge of the pool table.

“what drink is in the cups this time?” you ask, peeping into the red cups and trying to take a sniff.

“vodka, straight.” kat grins, watching as your face twists in disgust.

“jesus, are you trying to kill me?” you chuckle, picking up the ping pong ball and bouncing it on the table, groaning when it misses the cups on the opposite end. “why couldn’t you mix it with coke?”

“stop moaning and drink up.” sam cackles, as the white ball lands perfect in the red cup that is placed neatly in front of you. you groan, but pick up the cup anyway and chug it down quickly. coughs of disgust fall from your lips, and you grip your chest at the burning feeling of the vodka slipping down your throat.

“fucking hell, that’s awful.” you whine, face still twisted in disgust, as the three laugh at your reaction.

beer (vodka) pong goes on for at least forty minutes before sam and kat are crowned the winners, and devyn and you would have won if you both weren’t so bad at it.

during this time, colby still hasn’t been to see you or even spoken to you and as you’re getting more drunk, you can’t help but start to sulk at the fact your best friend of years, is ignoring your presence for a girl he’s known for a couple of weeks.

you are sitting on the sofa, with your fourth drink of the night, as well as the vodka from beer pong, and you're resting your chin on your palm. you feel the seat dip next to you, and you turn your head to the left and smile as corey wraps his arm around your shoulder, in a friendly way.

“i can’t help but notice that you’re not enjoying yourself tonight,” he speaks quietly in your ear. even though the music in the trap house is loud, he doesn’t want to gain the attention of the others. “what wrong? you can tell me anything you know.”

“i just don’t like getting ignored.” you sigh, looking over in the direction of colby and his new girl, who is now sitting on his lap. you turn your gaze back to corey, who follows your gaze and his eyebrows raised in shock. “he’s been so distant, cancelling plans and ignoring my texts and calls. it’s starting to get to me, not going to lie.”

you can feel your breath hitch and your eyes begin to water, as all of the emotions of the night begin to release. you blink away any tears that are threatening to fall quickly, and stand up from your seat and turn to corey.

“i’ll be back in a minute, i’m just going to use the bathroom.” you smile, wiping under your eyes quickly and move towards the stairs that lead to the bathroom.

stepping into the bathroom, you lock the door and sit on the edge of the white bath and you finally feel tears fall down the apples of your cheeks. sniffles escape from your lips as you rub the bottom of your eyes, trying not to get mascara all over your face, as you stand to look at yourself in the mirror. hastily wiping the mascara drips from below your eyes, you turn your head towards the door as a soft knock booms.

“y/n, it’s colby,” he shouts from the opposite side of the brown wooden door. “can you unlock the door please?”

your eyes widen at his voice, and you remove any reminders of the mascara from your eyes. it was obvious that you were crying, and you didn’t try to hide it as you walked towards the door and unlocked it, before sitting back on the edge of the tub.

your head remains looking at the floor, as his shoes come into contact with your gaze. he places his hand on your shoulder, but you flinch at his touch and he frowns, then quickly removes his hand to play with his rings, that are littered all over his fingers..

“hey, look at me.” he demands, but in a soft voice to encourage you to look in his direction. “please?”

sighing, you raise your head to look at him with watery eyes, as you bring your bottom lip between your teeth to stop it from quivering. his face is confused, but it’s also laced with concern as he studies your face.

“what’s going on? corey said you’re upset. has someone said something to you?” he questions, eyes widening as he talks fast, determined to find out what’s wrong with his best friend.

“it’s what someone hasn’t said.” you spit, voice laced with anger as you ball your fists in frustration. you didn’t mean to sound like a bitch, but you needed to let him know that he’s upset you and now is the best time whilst you’re both alone.

“what are you going on about?” he looks at you puzzled, searching your face for clues as to what you’re talking about.

“you haven’t uttered one word to me all night. in fact for weeks, colby.” you sigh, looking down at the floor again, before returning your attention to his face. “you’ve cancelled plans, you’ve ignored my calls and texts and every time i come over to hang out you’re not here because you’re too busy with her.”

colby was stunned. he didn’t know how to react because he didn’t know that he was the reason that you were upset and crying in the bathroom.

colby sighs, as he brings his hand up to his hair and tugs on it. he is suddenly feeling stressed, frustrated and guilty knowing that he’s made his best friend and favourite girl feel like pure shit, to the point she’s crying.

“i’m sorry,” he mummers, looking away because he can’t stand to see the hurt on her face. he moves back, so he is leaning against the sink, and folds his arms across his chest. “i didn’t realise i was making you feel this way, i’m sorry.”

you scoff, and raise to your feet so you're standing in front of him. your scoff makes him lift his head and make eye contact with you, and he tugs his bottom lip in between his pearly white teeth nervously.

“are you not happy for me or something? is this why you’re so pissed off with me?” he asks, standing up straight and he knits his brows together.

“you’re joking right?” you say, shaking your head as you feel more frustrated tears threatening to fall. “of course i’m made up for you colby, as long as you're happy, i’m happy.”

“well clearly you’re not because you’re acting like this.” he nods his head into your direction and moves his arms about to get his point across. his words only make you shake your head more, as you laugh humourlessly.

“i’m pissed off because you’ve ditched your best friend of many fucking years, for a girl you’ve known for two seconds.” you try not to raise your voice, but you can’t help it as you feel the anger bubble in the pit of your stomach. “can i add as well, you’ve ditched the one who helps you edit your videos, the one who keeps you company when you’re feeling sad or want someone to watch movies with you, the one who cooks you food when you can’t be arsed and the one who cares about you so fucking much, that she’s crying right in front of you for treating her like a complete idiot.”

you’ve let the hot tears fall now, and you can’t stop them as sobs begin to fall from your lips. colby’s heart is shattering at the sight, but he’s still taking in your words.

it’s silent for a few moments, before colby moves quickly to wrap his arms around your frame. this time, you don’t shrug him off, because what you need at this moment in time is a hug from the man standing in front of you. so, you wrap your arms tightly around his waist and cling on to him as sobs wrack through your body.

he rubs his hand soothingly on your back to help calm you down, and he sighs, playing back your words over and over in his head. guilt was all he felt. he didn’t know he was pushing you away, he was so wrapped up in something new, that he couldn’t see he was forgetting to spend time with the girl who means the most to him.

“i’m so sorry, so fucking sorry y/n.” he mummers against your shoulder, squeezing your frame tightly as if he was afraid that you were going to push him off and tell him to go and fuck himself. he could feel himself starting to get emotional, so he tugs his bottom lip between his teeth again to stop it from wavering.

you manage to calm yourself down, sniffling every now and then as you wipe your eyes. you loosen your arms on waist, and step back to wipe the tears off your face and sigh. you feel slightly embarrassed for confessing your feelings about the situation to colby, but you knew deep down that he needed to know, otherwise you were going to be more hurt in the long run.

“i promise, colbs. i’m made up for you, but please don’t push me out because you’ve found someone.” you say quietly, suddenly feeling exhausted as your head begins to pound. you don’t know if it’s from the alcohol, or your thoughts, but you bring your fingers to your temples and rub gently.

“i won’t, everything’s going to change. i promise.” he says softly, bringing you in for another hug before releasing and looking at you. “do you want to go back down there? or do you want to watch movies in my room?” he asks, searching your face for answers.

“you can’t leave her down there for me, it’s not fair. i’m just going to go home, it’s getting late and i’m pretty tired now.” you say, looking at your hands to avoid eye contact with him.

“okay,” he sighs, nodding his head in acknowledgment. “do you have a lift home already? i can drive you, i haven’t drank anything today.”

“yes please, if you don’t mind.” you chew your lip, a habit that you have when you feel awkward or nervous, and you’re not too sure why you’re feeling like this in front of your best friend.

“of course not, c’mon.” he says, giving your shoulder a last squeeze for comfort, before unlocking the door and climbing down the stairs.

you wait by the door, as you don’t want anyone to see you in this state and anyone to question you, and you hear colby announce he’s driving you home and he won’t be long. you hear everyone shout goodbye to you, and it brings a smile onto your lips for the first time in a while, and you follow colby as he opens the front door and to his car.

the drive to your place was short, as you live close by, and you rest your head on the coolness of his car window and let your eyes close. colby glances in your direction multiple times to make sure you’re okay, and once he arrives outside your house, he taps your shoulder to gain your attention.

“hey,” he whispers, not wanting to scare you. “we’re here.”

you lift your head up to look around, and you can feel yourself relax when you look at the front door of your house. you unbuckle your seatbelt, and turn to look at the man in the driver's seat, who is chewing on his bottom lip watching your every move.

“thank you for driving me home, colbs.” you smile, preparing to exit his car by grabbing your heels which you removed the second you sat in the seat and your bag.

“any time, you know that.” he returns the smile, but a small sigh releases from his pink lips. “i’m really sorry for tonight, i honestly didn’t realise i was acting like a dick. can i make it up to you tomorrow, please?”

“it’s okay, i mean it’s not okay,” you say, fiddling with your hands. “we needed that talk. how are you going to make it up to me?” you quiz with raised eyebrows and a small grin.

“movies with me all day tomorrow. i’ll pick you up around eleven and we can stop at the shop and grab snacks, and we can have a sleepover.” he looks at you with a glint of hopefulness, whilst he studies your face.

“sure, sounds good brock.” you beam, leaning over the console to engulf him with a hug. “i’m going to go inside now, text me when you get back to the house so i know you’re safe, please.”

“i will do, now get out before you fall asleep in my car and i can’t get you out.” he winks, chuckling as you let out soft giggles and open the door. “message me when you have locked your door so i know you’re okay.”

nodding, you gather your things, and exit his car. you begin to walk to your front door, before turning around and giving colby a little wave. he doesn’t move or take his eyes off you, until he sees that you have opened, entered and shut the door behind you. he waits a couple of seconds before his phone pings to say you’re okay, and that you’re off to bed.

colby smiles, and turns his ignition on, and he begins the small route back to the house. your words from earlier play back in his head during the trip back to his house, and he can’t help but feel accountable for making you upset, so he is going to make sure he makes you feel so special during your time together tomorrow.

request here

please give me feedback on this as it’s my first angst

#colby brock #colby brock blurb #colby brock x reader #colby brock imagine #sncnetwork

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justsomeboredgirl · 4 years

Text

look it may sounds ridiculous but so is every other "skull is..." fanfics out there but imagine skull is klaus hargreeves

the briefcase threw klaus into khr dimension bc why not

also ben must be there bc it's ben

also the briefcase exploded bc it jumps through universe

i just got this scenarios where skull will constantly talk to ghosts and everyone just stares and thinks it's super weird

SKULL GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWAL WHEN THEY WERE CURSED (will that work?? bc they were turn in babies but idk man i love klaus whump)

reborn reminds skull of luther so he just automatically cowered and obeyed (but ofc there will be times skull stand up to himself like when he refuses to kill)

skull knowing about pretty much the mafia gossip bc what do you know mafia ghosts are always ranting about everything like who kills them or that goddamn vindice or fuck you reborn you may be good in bed but that doesn't made it okay to shot me after sex talks about rude....

eventually mammon have a breakdown bc skull knows everything

ben threatening to throw reborn and collonelo for mistreating skull and that's what keeps skull afloat bc he have his brother with him and he's not alone- not like five was

idk about what he would react when turn into a baby, get wild with ur imagination guys, maybe he just quietly walks away or maybe he screamed and suddenly hundreds of ghosts just blinks into reality or maybe his power was locked and he can't see ben or the ghosts anymore

AND I LOVE HOW SKULL WILL PROBABLY AVOID THE ARCOBALENO BC THEY HAVE TOO MANY GHOSTS

and his reaction to flames will probably be... chaotic like really chaotic where he just cackles maniacally while ben shook his head

my fav with this kinda thing is the reveal du du dunnnnnnnn so i was thinking maybe five will accidentally travel to khr universe? just zaps in into the arcobaleno mansion after the curse was broken?

and skull would just cheered and says "finally! i thought i have to wait for 40 years like you do! for the record i understand you now my dear brother"

and five would just muttered in disbelief "klaus?" then snorted "purple? really? i thought you may have reached the point of your stupidity long ago"

which skull just respond with an offended noise "i think purple looks absolutely dashing on me! also ben agrees with me so ha!"

and finally what every other skull is.... fanfics will have : reborn growled and cocked his gun to skull, "lackey, explain."

which of course skull wont explain bc he's klaus so maybe he will just jauntily waves at the rest of them and sling and arm to five's shoulder "let's go home, brother dearest"

#khr headcanons #skull #skull khr #skull is...#the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #number five #arcobaleno #katekyo hitman reborn #reborn khr

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be11atrixthestrange · 3 years

Text

Thank You For Dying

Just a run-of-the-mill Deathday party in the Prefects’ bathroom, #PartyLikeIts1492

...because I guess this is what I write now...

The typically-bustling fifth floor was void of any living creatures, repelled by the putrid odor wafting from the Prefects' bathroom. Argus Filch was aware of the smell — and the fact that it probably meant shenanigans — but he still hadn't moved his pending investigation higher on his to-do list.

The fact that even the school caretaker scrunched his nose was concerning. Filch had built up an impressive tolerance to the fouler aspects of maintaining a centuries-old home for grimy teenagers, thanks to his sustained exposure to the greasy mop of hair on his head, which emanated its own unique brand of stink.

The strong stench was no accident. Inside the Prefects' bathroom laid an expansive buffet table, assembled by a reluctant team of house-elves at the request of the Fat Friar. The previous week's rancid leftovers were delicately displayed, having been harvested from mealtimes and kept out in the steamy kitchen left to spoil, another unusual ask from the Hogwarts ghosts.

"It smells so strong!" said the Hufflepuff ghost, his eyes swirling with excitement at the array. "I can almost taste it!"

The pool-sized tub was brimming with bubbles and bustling with activity. Thanks to the begrudging elves, neon lights colored the bathwater, and music echoed off the walls, amplified and melodious, which elicited a few nods of appreciation for the castle's stately acoustics. A sudden splash sent a wave of displaced water into the air, which crashed onto the buffet. The table collapsed under the force, soaking everything and leaving the already-spoiled food squishy and soggy. Peeves then erupted from the water, cackling and pointing at the table, now a useless pile of rubble.

"Peeves!" groaned Nearly Headless Nick. "Why is he here again? He's not even dead."

"Because we need him to hang the banner," said the Grey Lady with an air of expended patience. "Unless you'd like to do it."

Nick glanced at the banner, coiled in a pile next to the destroyed table, and then at his hands, translucent and purposeless. "Fine. Peeves, hang the banner, and then get out."

"Nicky so angry, he's not my fan," chuckled Peeves. "Why would Peeves listen to a grumpy old man?"

Nick rolled his eyes and turned to the Bloody Baron, who was busy directing the elves around the tub so they could get to work on fixing the table. "Can you tell him?"

The Bloody Baron huffed at Nick before raising his voice to the Poltergeist. "Peeves. Hang it up."

"Wheeeeeeeee," sang Peeves as he swooped down to snatch the banner. It unraveled into a ribbon as he launched into the air. Peeves pinned it to the wall so that it hung visibly from the entry door, its message now clear and bold:

Happy Deathday, Myrtle!

"Why does he only listen to the Bloody Baron?" asked Nick under his breath, earning a scowl from the Grey Lady.

"Because the Bloody Baron has quite the temper," she said.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry to bring that up," said Nick. "Things are still weird between you two, then?"

Helena Ravenclaw scowled, and Nick immediately realized he had made things even more awkward by asking about it. He groaned to himself — they had coexisted for centuries, and he still couldn't manage one smooth conversation without reminding her of the whole murdered-by-her-ex thing. It didn't help that the Bloody Baron was always there, keeping his possessive eyes on her, glaring at Nick from across the room whenever he managed to get her alone for a chat.

He knew he couldn't die again, but he still feared the Slytherin ghost. Why did the Bloody Baron have to be so bloody terrifying?

Nick startled as the object of his silent rage appeared between them, as if he had been summoned by Nick's thoughts.

"I apologized for that," said the Bloody Baron through gritted teeth.

Nick glided away slowly, barely catching her response, "Apologies don't bring people back to life…"

"Everyone, quiet!" The conversations died as the room's attention turned to the speaker. The Friar was floating above the newly-repaired buffet table, addressing the group from up high.

"If she breaks your heart, use your head! Just be a man, don't strike her dead!" sang the Poltergeist, his tune echoing from wall to wall.

"Shut up, Peeves!" came a chorus of voices. Peeves cackled.

"Get out," ordered the Baron, pointing a crooked finger toward the door.

He didn't have to ask twice. Peeves zoomed out of the room and into the fifth-floor hallway, his maniacal giggles growing quieter as he whisked away.

Nick sighed, scowling at the door and wondering what it would take to get some goddamn authority in this place. Besides murder, of course.

"Anyway," said the Friar. "Let's all get into place. Myrtle should be here soon. And please, for the love of Merlin, save the arguing for another day," he added with a pointed nod toward the Ravenclaw and Slytherin ghosts.

Everyone found a place to hide — the Grey Lady glided up to the window to mimic the position of the stained-glass mermaid, and the Friar hovered behind the buffet table, his nose conveniently buried into what used to be a treacle tart, maybe. The Baron retreated into the shadows, leaving Nick to submerge himself into the tub, obscured by the bubbles.

They heard Myrtle before they saw her, her nasally voice screeching through the air vents, riddled with gasps, groans, and 'how dare you, Olive Hornbys.' She pendulated between sobs and giggles with impressive efficiency, demonstrating a startling lack of emotional control. It sent a shiver of annoyance through Nick's spineless body so fierce that he almost sympathized with the Bloody Baron's compulsion to kill. It was a good thing that Myrtle was already dead.

Her mumbling and grumbling stopped as soon as she reached the door. When she glided through the entrance, the Fat Friar, the Bloody Baron, the Grey Lady, and Nearly-Headless Nick erupted from their hiding places.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY DEATHDAY!".

Myrtle's eyes grew wide as she scanned the room, passing over everyone's faces before landing on the banner across from her. Its large, drooping letters swayed as the sign rippled in the breeze from a nearby steam vent.

"Deathday?!" shouted Myrtle. "You're celebrating my DEATH?" Her face contorted in anger and her voice crept dangerously close a level of shrill that only Hagrid's pets could hear.

"Why yes, of course!" beamed the Friar, unfazed by her reaction. "You deserve a celebration like the rest of us!"

"So, you're saying that you're happy that I DIED?" she screeched. "Why is everyone so happy that I'm dead?!"

"Myrtle—" began the Friar as his giddy features fell. He couldn't finish because she had already stormed out of the bathroom, her sobs ricocheting through the empty hall.

"What is her problem?" said Nick, shaking his head so that it popped out of its precarious position. "Oops," he added, jerking it back into place.

"What's so bad about being dead?" asked the Bloody Baron, earning another pointed look from the Grey Lady.

"She just needs time to get used to being dead," said the Grey Lady, her eyes glued to the Baron. "It's not like she killed herself."

The Baron scowled back at her. "Now that's cold."

"Enough!" said the Friar. "This isn't about you. Someone should go talk to her."

The four ghosts looked warily at the bathroom entrance, unwilling to volunteer.

"Ooooor," said Nick, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. "We could just… stay."

"Yeah," said the Grey Lady, now addressing the Friar. "I haven't been to a party in a while. Would be a shame to waste all the planning and hard work that you did."

"Right," said the Baron. "It's not our fault she can't accept that she's dead." He smirked as the Grey Lady rolled her eyes again.

"At least we tried to include her," said Nick. "I know that was important to you."

The Friar sighed, his guilt evident by his furrowed brows. His expression softened when he inhaled a waft of rancid food and looked longingly at the buffet table. "You're right. We planned a party, so it's only fair that we get to celebrate."

"That's the spirit!" said Nick with a grin.

"Oh, what the hell. To Myrtle!" said the Friar, raising an imaginary champagne flute into the air. "Thank you for dying!"

"To Myrtle!" chorused the ghosts, pretending to chug their drinks, ever-so-thankful for the inevitability of death.

#hp fanfiction #Harry Potter #harry potter fic #hp ficlet #hp fanfic

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ninjakitty15 · 3 years

Text

Cold As Death (Loki)

Chapter One: Looks That Could Kill

By all accounts, today should've been like the countless other days before it. Just another day stuck in a glass cell with the occasional "scientist" trying to figure out how to harness something no regular schmuck or mortal could hope to grasp by poking, prodding, and bleeding me. But this was Hydra for you, try to change one idiots mind, and several more idiots tell you you're wrong. German, American, or other, there are evil idiots in every corner of every world, that's for damn sure. At this point I couldn't figure out why they still kept me here, locked away from everything when they couldn't what they wanted from me. They already tried torturing it out of me like pain would make me crumble, I just ended up wincing or laughing depending on what they did as there were times I actually wasn't sure I felt anything, not because they did it often enough or it was that bad, I was just sorta dead inside so some nerve endings didn't always work.

The only thing remotely unusual about today though was it wasn't as busy where they stashed me, hands locked in power dampening shackles and a metal muzzle to boot. At some point earlier they attempted to keep me sedated and unconscious but I woke myself back up once they left me alone thinking I was no longer a problem. Amateurs. As I sat in the middle of the cell, eyes closed but fully alert and coherent, I felt before I ever heard a presence that felt otherworldly to me. They were silent, seeming to observe with caution as I felt it get closer and start to circle the container then pause right where I knew the controls of the cage to be. There was a fifty fifty chance this presence would let me out, the other half being they come in and another round of human pinata would start but instead of candy it would just be blood and a lot of bad puns and jokes falling out of me, maybe drop a few s/m mentions. Serious folks tend to get real uncomfortable when you get sexual on them. If you can't laugh about sex, you don't have a sense of humor. A button was pressed on the panel and a door formed in front of me where the glass was and I got a stronger feel of who or what was in front of me on the other side. They were definitely not your average Joe, probably not even human and flowing with a lifeforce not even mutants could possibly obtain. An immortal for sure. They took one step toward me and because this wasn't something I'd encountered since my containment, I instinctively tensed which made them pause again.

"You're awake?" A smooth almost british accented voice, noted softly yet curiously.

I opened my eyes then just to confirm that as the muzzle was holding back my usual smartass responses. They was actually one tall man clad in leather and gold metal, watching me carefully with piercing blue/green eyes. Maybe it was seeing the same ugly mugs every day for gods know how long I've been down here and finally seeing a new face, maybe it was the fact he was wearing my two favorite colors and pulled it off better than anyone else I've seen try that. But damn did he look good. It might also be the killer jawline and physique too. His eyes fixated on the muzzle for a moment and a hardened scowl formed for some reason, surprisingly not twisting the dashing look like it does most angry men. And then suddenly I could speak again but opted to gasp like a dying beached fish because damn did it feel good to not have airways being blocked anymore. Vaguely I wondered if my lips were chapped from the damned thing before smiling maniacally.

"Finally, oral freedom!" I cried overdramatically. "I don't usually offer though unless its returned, all's fair in love and fun stuff."

The man cracked a small smile and ventured a step closer to me. "What are you? And why are you in here?"

"Could ask you the same thing, hun," i quipped. "And seeing as I was here first, you should answer first."

He chuckled and took a more confident step toward me though his lifeforce strengthened like a guard around him. Before he could answer himself though, a booming and somehow familiar voice called out. "Loki, have you found anything down there?!" Which caused the dude now named Loki to cringe at the interruption and sigh.

"No one here but us ghouls," I told him in answer.

"They have a prisoner down here, brother!" replied Loki though his eyes never left me.

"Prisoner's such a harsh word, I prefer forced resident or illegal obtained house guest," I informed him. "You answer his questions, but not mine. It's because I'm black, isn't it?" I was actually what one would describe in terms of skin color as not recently dead pale white.

"I thought he was answer enough, I'm sure you know of Thor, he likes to play the hero of this realm," Loki replied to me, an eyebrow arched.

"The Norse God of shitty weather? Y'all aren't busy with cooler realms?" I asked.

"This wasn't my choice," was his dry response, making me smile more.

I snickered. "Spoken like a true sibling. So you came down here, an alien immortal, because your big brother told you so. My heart bleeds for you really."

He glared at my unabashed sarcasm and crossed his arms over his chest. "Now answer mine before he comes in and makes a great mess of this place."

"More than the people that came with this building already have? That's gotta take talent. But I'll bite. They hunted me down gods know how long ago and attempted to extract something from me that makes me awesome, didn't work obviously or they'd make a mess not even your brother could trump and we wouldn't be here talking. Too valuable to be killed, though they couldn't if they tried, too stubborn to be experimented on. Where'd they go anyway? Are you guys the reason I didn't get my daily prodding?"

"My brothers...friends dealt with the ones they could find, if they're anything like their namesake, I'm sure there's more in hiding waiting for reinforcements or something like that."

Another man leaped down out of nowhere that definitely wasn't Thor as he didn't have long golden locks or a beard, his head and half his face were actually covered by a mask and instead of a hammer was a shield in one arm.

"Thor failed to mention it was a woman," the new dude noted.

"And my gender matters because...?" I wasn't actually offended by this, just messing with him to get a reaction which worked as he genuinely looked bashful, making me cackle. "For all the armor you people wear, it's still surprisingly easy to get under your skin. Maybe I've just been here so long, they're just fashion statements now, if everyone's wearing leather armor count me in!"

"Sorry to disappoint, but it's just us," Loki told me.

"She tell you why they're holding her?" the new man asked him.

"They're trying to steal her powers though I'm not sure what they are yet."

"Only the best kind of course," I told them. "It's all the rage these days, all the Hydra agents gotta have it."

"Well they can find it somewhere else as you're free from them but you can tell us all about the what and why, if you don't mind," the new man said.

"You say that so politely but I'm getting the sense you weren't asking. I'll comply if you give me a hand here, mine are a bit tied up at the moment." I raised my shackled hands as high as able since they were chained to the metal floor beneath me.

The new man was quick to break the chains connecting me to the floor before Loki waved a hand like Jedi Knight and the shackled sprang open, dropping to the floor with a loud clang. I flexed my hands and shook them a bit to get feeling back with them being cramped and slowly got to my feet, staggering a bit as my leg bones cracked from the sudden use and weight. I sighed in sweet relief and relaxed with a slight grin. "Alrighty then!" With my hands free, so was my powers just a bit more and I could collect and stretch it out, testing the waters. That seemed to be enough for Loki to notice being a power person as well and both eyebrows shot up as he probably felt what I was doing. I winked at him before turning to the other guy. "Onward and upward!"

With the new guy leading me out of the building and Loki being my tail, I was on my way to freedom for good before being nearly blinded by that god awful ball of fire in the sky, everyone else calls the sun. I recoiled and refrained from hissing like an angry vampire, stumbling back into Loki in the process who steadied me and smirked at my reaction to daylight. The new guy looked back hearing me cursing at it and raised an eyebrow in question but didn't actually ask anything.

"What? I'm not a morning person," I responded before straightening up but subtly elbowing Loki in the stomach, causing a soft grunt from behind while accidentally hitting my funny bone which wasn't that funny at all as my entire arm went numb and tingly at the same time. "Stupid toned god with your stupid abs of granite."

The new guy stopped walking and pressed a hand against his ear. "We're out, all the agents we could flush out are dealt with. A ride would be nice." Ah he was talking on a com of some kind it seems. How high tech yet old school. Within a few moments, an even more hightech fighter plane of some kind hovered low enough for him to climb in first then offer his hand to pull me up as I was unfortunately not remotely as tall or long legged as either man near me. I looked around the plane curiously to see another man and a redhaired woman at the front as pilots, the woman looking back and landing her eyes on me as well.

"Are you the prisoner Thor spoke of?" she asked.

"I'm the illegally obtained house guest, yes." Loki snickered behind me and I reminded myself not to elbow him again as my arm still hadn't gotten proper feeling back.

The woman smiled as well and nodded. "Buckle up then, we're heading back to base, could get bumpy. All good back there, Steve?" she called after the first new guy who was now Steve.

"Ready when you are," he answered, sitting at the tail end of the machine.

The plane rose up and shot forward at an illegally unsafe speed above the city. Loki had settled across from me, eyes ever studying me but unlike the agents that actually did and more, they weren't malicious or power hungry, just cautious and curious. I decided to test his resolve then and locked my eyes on his in an unwavering staring contest. "First one to blink loses."

"Is that why they muzzled you? Because if you're not under their skin, you're cracking jokes?" he asked.

"If you don't have a sense of humor you don't have much to live for and that's how they win. Also no, it's not how I talked, but who I talked to or when it wasn't them."

"To contain your powers, like they did your hands then. And they didn't get anything from you?"

"What I have can't be drained or pulled out or copied, it's not specifically found in something like DNA or an organ or something physical even. Those guys claim to be scientists but real scientists accept facts as they are when proof is found and I'm living proof they're all frauds with no results. I bet they don't even have a Ph.D."

"They're Hydra, they're funded by power and money, not degrees and universities," Steve spoke up.

"So you're telling me they just pulled a few crazy people with crazyass theories on things from a hat and told them they're scientists now? I should've gone to college there, I wanna have money and be told I have a job with more money. All I got from mine a piece of paper saying I know some things and then years of disappointment from being unemployed. I probably look good in a lab coat too."

"A stark difference from your current attire of all black and hooded," Loki pointed out.

I snorted. "All they let me wear after ruining the one I was caught in from their experimentation, they thought the attire should fit the power, how unimaginative is that? Let's just advertise exactly what I can do to everyone around me, that'll throw them off for sure."

"And what can you do?" he challenged.

"Uh-uh, spoilers sweety. A preview of which will cost you extra."

"But we just gave you a free ride," chipped the male pilot.

"Hey, you're not part of this conversation, and I don't even know where we're going, this could be a free ride to something worse. Like Shield or the dentist."

"Bad experience? Ate too much candy as a kid, didn't you?" the pilot guessed.

"If you think there's such thing as too much candy, then your childhood sucked and I pity your past."

"Tony's gonna love this one," mused the female pilot. "What's your name?"

"I've been out of custody for like 15 minutes and finally someone asks! It's Noelle, Nell for short. And you pilots are...?"

"About to land for starters," the man said. "I'm Clint, she's Nat, and we're at base so everyone out of my plane."

"That's Tony's plane actually," quipped Loki as the plane landed and everyone unbuckled. "Come along, meet the rest of my brother's friends."

#cold as death #immortal peril #lokifanfiction #lokifanfic #loki x oc #loki x original female character #lokixNell #nellthenecromancer

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thatboxylady · 3 years

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that Otp question list for Jetstorm/Thrust since you're writing that fanfic right now? :3

THANKS it causes me constant pain.

1. Who offers their jacket when the other is cold?

Neither one of them wears jackets. They’re robots. That having been said, if they’re in close proximity, Thrust will notch his engine into a higher gear to kick off some warmth. Jetstorm is built to lose heat as to not cook his internals at high speeds, so his heat sinks and vents can be a real hassle when night falls and the Maximals aren’t giving them the runaround. Having Thrust to act as a personal space-heater is appreciated.

In humanverse AUs, Thaddeus will offer Jeffery his jacket if need be. Jeffery is almost always guaranteed to turn this down if he’s in earshot of someone else. “The leather clashes with my outfit, sweetheart.” He’ll take it in a heartbeat once they get on the bike, though. 2. Who giggles uncontrollably when the other playfully picks them up? Jetstorm, but it’s that maniac cackling he does throughout the show. Sort of like a rattlesnake’s rattling. The noise is a warning, biker boy. 3. Who compliments the other in front of everyone? Jetstorm does this and his tone makes you think he’s being sarcastic. He’s not. The Maximals and Megatron don’t have to know that, though. Thrust knows better than to compliment Jetstorm out loud or in too obvious of a way, because the jet will absolutely not shut up about it. You might as well just give Narcissus a whole warehouse full of mirrors. “Who the frag is Narcissus?” “Don’t worry about it, Storm.” 4. Who is more likely to tell the other a pun and what is the other's reaction to the pun? Jetstorm edges Thrust out in this category just barely, because he’s Jetstorm. He lives to run his mouth. Thrust just rolls with the punches as they come and tries not to add fuel to the fire... but sometimes a sigh will get past him. It’s all the acknowledgement that Jetstorm needs to keep being as obnoxious as possible. Thrust uses puns so rarely that when they do stick, Jetstorm is too stunned to react. Other times, Jetstorm goes in for the kill. Thrust is quick to reverse out of harm’s way and make a run for it. 5. When one of them has a bad day, what does the other do to help cheer them up? When Thrust is upset, Jetstorm talks. Sometimes nonstop. Anyone watching (or unfortunately listening) from the outside would view this as counterproductive, but Thrust is... deeply appreciative. Really. The constant stream of thoughts from his friend makes for a good distraction. Jetstorm can be genuinely funny when he wants to be, too. When Jetstorm is upset, Thrust will offer up the idea that they can go out and destroy something. Jetstorm finds that leveling buildings is a great way to relieve stress. 6. If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would one another wear? They don’t wear clothes, they’re robots. Jetstorm probably tries to slap some silly bumper stickers on Thrust, though. Probably dumb sayings, but mostly wildly inappropriate. “Just for the day?” “No.” “Please?” “Absolutely not.” Thrust eventually settles for letting Jetstorm put a magnet on him. It says DO YOU FOLLOW PRIMUS THIS CLOSELY? All things considered, it could have been worse. The bike accepts this as a hollow victory. Humanverse Jeffery keeps trying to dress Thaddeus up to make him look more “gay friendly.” Thaddeus can appreciate that, but no, he is not going to wear fishnets to work. Not unless Jeffery wears something else other than rubber pants and thigh-high boots. Sweats and sneakers, maybe. They are an an impasse. 7. Who introduces their partner to their family first? How does it go? They are their own family! Everyone left Jetstorm and Thrust alone and they are very happy by themselves. Most of Thaddeus’ family still deadnames him so introducing them to Jeffery is not an option. Jeffery is not above taking a baseball bat to people he has just met. Megan has him on his payroll for a reason. Someone called him a slur once and he slashed their neck open with a busted beer bottle. 8. In a coffee shop AU, who would be the coffee shop employee and who would be the customer? Thaddeus is the very tired and apathetic employee. Jeffery won’t get coffee unless his favorite barista is there. 9. When they sit side by side, do they touch one another? For example, does one person has their arm around the other, do they sit holding hands, or linked arms, ECT. If Maximals are close by, they’ll put some distance between them. They both understand that it’s best not to... advertise. Especially while Blackarachnia is around. There’s some bad blood there. When they’re on their own, Thrust will bring themselves thisclose and maintain that distance with mechanical precision. He won’t initiate contact unless he knows he has explicit permission. Jetstorm can be touchy. Jetstorm is the patron saint of Public Displays of Affection and is always grabbing (or otherwise jostling) Thrust around in some capacity when he’s in the mood for it. 10. What is a small thing that one another does to make their partner happy? Thrust is naturally very quiet. When he does start talking, it makes Jetstorm... almost unreasonably happy. Almost, because of course he’s not going to admit to that sentimental drivel. Contrary to popular belief, the jet doesn’t always like listening to the sound of his own voice. Thrust has a nice and smokey vocal codec. It’s nice to hear him put it to good use. Watching Jetstorm thrash Maximals is always a nice little pick-me-up, Thrust thinks. 11. What would they do to celebrate their one year anniversary? Jetstorm is very loud about it and peppers Thrust in thinly concealed affection. Thrust endures. 12. When did they know that they loved each other, and when did they first tell each other that they loved one another? "We’re... friends?” “Why not?” There’s never an actual admission between the two of them. It’s just... sort of presumed at a certain point and never discussed further. When an I love you is exchanged for the first time, they don’t make a big deal out of it. They already knew. 13. Who likes to give the other hugs from behind followed by a kiss? Jetstormmmm he’s the King of PDA. 14. Who would make a playlist for the other person? What would be featured on the playlist? Thrust is voiced by Jim Byrnes who is an actual blues singer, so. Thrust. Most definitely. It’s all blues and soft rock. If Jetstorm did it’d be lots of Elton John. Also (unfortunately) Phil Collins. There’s a song called Bad Romance is in there somewhere. You know which one. 15. Who would bring their partner on a romantic date under the stars? Thrust would be more likely to do it because he knows Jetstorm likes open skies. Jetstorm would do it because he knows Thrust is affectionate like that. Urgh. Horrible. “This is exactly why the spider thought you were Silverbolt, you know.” “Please shut up, Storm. I am begging you.” “Why were you into her, anyways? Was it the tits?” “JETSTORM.”

#beast machines #thruststorm #maccadam #god is dead in this house and jetstorm personally killed them #Anonymous

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duker42 · 5 years

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💜Dare Me💜 Levi x Reader

💜Dare Me💜

*****WARNING*****NSFW

Y/N’s POV

I stare incredulous at the evil face in front of me. “Are you insane????!!!!! No way I am doing that!” Everyone around me starts howling with laughter as my face turns red. My eyes widen as they lock onto the clearly unamused face of the Corporal.

You have been playing Truth or Dare and now it’s come back to bite you in the ass. Everyone you knew, including all the squad leaders are about to witness you die.

*10 Minutes Prior*

“Connie , truth or dare?” Ymir casually tossed out. “Ummm, dare.” He nervously replied. Ymir smirks, “I dare you to take Sasha’s bread and eat it.” “What? NOOOOOOO!!” Sasha starts cramming the bread into her mouth as Connie rushes her trying to steal some of her precious food. Chaos ensues as Sasha starts throwing punches to evade, but Connie eventually steals a small portion of the bread and turns around with a smug grin and eat it.

Connie looks around the group, deciding who to pick. “Hanji, I dare you kiss Erwin, and it better involve tongue!” He laughs as Hanji gets up and saunters over to where the Commander is sitting and lays one on him. You catcall them and yell for them to get a room as Hanji breaks the kiss, red with embarrassment. Erwin shifts in his seat, crossing his legs, uncomfortable.

I realize that my mistake when Hanji turns to me, maniacal expression crossing her face as she speaks. “Y/N.” I groan, this isn’t going to be good. “I dare you to go and straddle Shorty and whisper in his ear all kinds of naughty things to see if you can get a ‘rise’ out of him!!!!” She laughs hysterically, as if she hasn’t just sent me to the gallows. Even Erwin looked uneasy with her dare.

*Present Time*

I cross my arms and try to give her the “Levi” glare as I shake my head. “Okay, if you don’t want to do that, you have to take the penalty dare....you have to sit naked the rest of the game!!!” She cackles. I roll my eyes, this crazy-ass four eyed freak has backed me into a corner.

“Damn you four-eyes. I’m going to kill your fucking Titan babies!” I growl out as I pull myself up from the floor. With an ugly scowl on my face I stomp over to where Levi has been watching the proceedings with a bland facial expression, as if bored.

The short raven haired man just looked at me, with his arms crossed for a moment. Sighing irritably, he uncrosses his arms and mutters “Let’s get this over with, brat. This isn’t going to work.” ‘Oh really? Game on Captain Clean Freak’. I think to myself.

Putting on a seductive smirk, I see his eyes focus me as I slither my way across his thighs, pressing myself against him. Sitting on his lap, my core presses against his groin. I feel his undercut as I slide my fingers around his neck and run them up to tangle his silky hair in my fist. His body stiffens under mine, unused to the physical contact. He smirks at me and I feel him force himself to relax. Pressing my cheek against his, I blow against his ear before I begin.

Low and sultry, I whisper to him, “I want you to put your hands on my ass, and carry me out of this room, my legs wrapped around you as I kiss you. I want you to take me back to your office, and lay me on that sturdy desk of yours. I want those strong hands on my body, stripping my clothes off of me. Then I want to put my hands on you. I want to run my fingers across your bare chest, but I really want to wrap them around your cock. I want to watch you as I kneel in front of you and take you into my mouth.” I feel a tiny shudder, almost imperceptible, but it was there. I continue, “You feel my tongue run over the tip as I kiss and taste you, before letting you use my mouth as you pump yourself in and out.” I feel his body tighten again as he takes a deep breath and hold it. No one else can see it, but I’m starting to get to him. “I don’t want you to cum yet. I want that to be save for when you put me back on that desk and grip my hips and shove your cock deep inside my tight, wet pussy. I want you to fuck me so hard the desk moves and they can hear me screaming your name in here as I clamp down on your cock, cumming all over you.” I bite down on his earlobe as I finish my description of our imagined encounter.

I feel his breathe exhale sharply. There is complete silence in the room, as everyone watches to see what our Captain’s reaction will be. They couldn’t hear what I was saying, but they saw the blush that came across his face and grew deeper the longer I whispered.

“Damn, Y/N! What did you say to Shorty!” Hanji screeches.

Suddenly, Levi’s hands move from where they were hanging down at his sides to grip my ass as he launched us out of the chair. I wrap my legs around him so I don’t fall as he marches to the door to the Mess Hall.

“Where are you going?” Hanji yells.

“Shut up Shitty-Glasses, we are done playing.” Levi responds as he walk out of the hall, leaving everyone with their mouths open.

As he marches down the hall, he looks at me. “What happened to kissing me?” He asks, a moment before I slammed my lips onto his. Moving my way down to his neck, I kissed along the vein, down to his collarbone, as another shudder runs through him.

Kicking the door open to his office, he sets me on the desk and attacks my lips again. I groan as he slips his tongue into my mouth, letting me taste the tea and mint from his. Stopping and looking me in the eye with a mischievous glint, he says. “Dare me.”

“I dare you to do what I said.” I whisper.

“Done, but I’m adding some of what I want to do.” Sending me a dark, lustful look, he attacks my neck. And I know that I am in for a late night.

Mobile MasterList

#aot fanfiction #attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi aot #snk levi #captain levi #levi ackerman x reader #shingeki no kyojin #snk x reader #aot x reader #levi heichou #shingeki no kyojin x reader #levi x reader

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Chapter 239: We’re Fucked

Previously on BnHA: Actually it’s been two weeks, so I barely even remember. Let me just... take another... Ah, right. So Tomura brought it up a notch to Goth Level x20 and destroyed all of his Surplus Hands in a fit of independence, and Re-Destro was like “!!!” and then turned himself into a giant robot as a counter-flex. Meanwhile Gigantomachia continued to smash shit and also defeated Orange Leaf because lord knows Dabi was never actually going to get around to it. Compress called Ujiko and was all “hey can you please stop your guy because I’m afraid he’s going to smash us once he’s done smashing everything else,” but Ujiko was all, “listen if Shigaraki dies then he dies!!” But I’m pretty sure Shigaraki isn’t actually going to die. Re-Destro, though? He might be dead. Guess we’ll find out.

Today on BnHA: Nope, Re-Destro isn’t dead. So it goes like this: Tomura, who is now incredibly hot by the way, annihilates the entire fucking town leaving only bits of rubble, basically. Everyone is all, “LOOK AT THIS ARE YOU FUCKING SEEING THIS HOLY SHIT” and basically just watching in awe. Re-Destro chops off his own fucking feet so as not to be disintegrated himself, something which everyone is way too fucking calm about tbh. And in the aftermath Tomura stands there all “lol I won,” and RD is like, “yeah you sure did,” and I was expecting Tomura to be all “well anyways, [kill]” but instead RD is like, “HERE’S THE KEYS TO YOUR NEW ARMY” and Tomura is “HEY COOL” and SOMEHOW THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER AND WORSE ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Heh. Anyways where’s that comic with the dog in the house that’s on fire. That about sums it all up.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, but aside from that there are no changes, and even that was a rush job since I was late in reading the chapter this week. I basically have not edited this at all lulz.)

sounds like someone is about to get the official Gigantomachia Seal of Approval at long last! sure did take this boy a while to get accredited, but he kept at it! there’s a lesson there, folks. if at first you don’t succeed, stop sleeping for two months and then power-hallucinate your way to success

so we’re opening with Hanabata and his van! I sure hope this mofo is about to die, because mofos need to start dying already. I’ve loved this arc and we’ve had some really great times, but I never did have much patience for this particular point of any given arc. side villains need to know when to die. respect for Kizuki, at least she had the right idea

on the other hand we are being gifted with some pretty fun panels, such as this

wah, his shoes. heh

oh my god

did he slam into the van when it hit the brakes to avoid Tomura’s Destruction Radius. ouch

so he’s narrating about how some crazy shit is going down over where Tomura is. and that “our story was at a standstill, but now...”

listen, that “but now” had better mean that you’re about to de-standstill and wrap things up

-- holy shit

I’m not -- Tomura, what!?! you’re hot?! is it just me?? am I fucking losing it?? what the fuck. can you seriously just cut off anyone’s fingers and they’ll magically grow 40x hotter!? somebody count Aizawa’s fingers for me

shit. this isn’t even my normal aesthetic! Tomura you’re crossing genre barriers here. I can’t speak for everyone, but I deeply suspect that you’re appealing very widely right now

the moral of this story is, eyeliner. that’s it. that’s the moral

in other news, Twice shouting “hang in there, Giran!” speaks for all of us, I think, and he had better get a medal for being VIP of this fucking arc. and Giran, it’s good to get some exercise

so who is this monologuing now?

is this a flashback to All for One? or RD getting all philosophical as the countdown inches ever closer to his doom?

like, this could seriously go either way here. huh. full disclosure, I’m doing my best to speedread here since this recap is late, so I’m not taking much time to think real deeply or try and process every little thing this week

now RD is going “guh!” and failing to get with the times

yeah dude, we established this already. Tomura is doing a lot of things he shouldn’t fucking be able to do. because he’s awakening. you’re the one who fucking said it just last chapter. quit being so damn shocked

lol now he’s thinking “if I can just get out of range...” ha, good luck. does he even have a fucking range now

omfg. you guys

being on the villains’ team for an arc is so much fun. so nice to be able to shamelessly appreciate the senseless destruction

okay, not quite as hot now. but from the right angle, though. damn

anyways. he cray. we get it lol

now he’s shouting “I’ll break you to pieces!” all gleefully and, like. destroying the entire town, it looks like. possibly

okay but seriously I think he really is. he really fucking is, you guys

I’m simultaneously grinning at how badass it is and thinking in the back of my mind about how our actual heroes are so!! fucked!! once this arc is over and done with sob

like, hey Tomura, what was your overall goal again? destroy the entire world? oh, yes, right. and what exactly is stopping you, again? literally nothing but a handful of sixteen-year-old heroes in training? whom I’m deeply attached to? yes, that’s surely going to end well

sobbbbbbbb

we’re so. goddamn. fucked

also, when did RD transform back into his little guy form? why do I suddenly almost feel sorry for him. well maybe not sorry so much as I feel pity. though once again, weekly reminder that he invited them himself, and they probably would never have clashed had he not decided to start shit for absolutely no fucking reason

let this be a lesson to all other villains! if you’re still thinking the League is an easy mark now that AFO is ~out of the picture~, let Overhaul and Re-Destro serve as examples of what happens when you underestimate the new boy in charge

and when I think of it that way, it makes me want to warn Tomura not to get too cocky and make the same fucking mistake. AFO and All Might may not have much in common, but one thing they do share is a knack for choosing worthy successors. though I still think that in AFO’s case, “placeholder” would be a more accurate word

anyway so where were we. -- oh yes

I wonder how many pages do we need of Tomura cheerfully decimating shit and RD watching in terror. this is a manga-only complaint though, just to be clear. in the anime? this shit is going to be fucking amazing. Tomura cackling maniacally while the world crumbles to pieces around him. metal af

by the way I love how RD has gone pants-only now that he’s back in his Bruce Banner form

I really shouldn’t be complaining that this chapter is going by so quickly, given that I’m trying to race through it, but literally the next two pages are just more of the same shit

town: destroyed. RD status: defeated and pants-only. plots advanced in the last three pages: none that I can actually see

oh shit. wait

what the -- holy --

okay lol. nevermind. here I thought that was Tomura’s foot on the previous page. and I didn’t notice RD’s feet had been chopped off on account of I thought the BLOODY STUMPS OF HIS FEET were his shoes, I guess. despite the manga establishing multiple times that he was only wearing pants. I only pointed it out specifically twice myself. wowwww

just. I’m running on four hours’ sleep here but feeling pretty all right considering, so I thought I was doing pretty good, but I GUESS NOT lol. one of these days I’ll learn that if a giant two-page spread appears to be a waste, it’s far more likely that I’ve just completely failed to see some very obvious thing of critical importance

anyways. ohhhhh yesssss

[raises hand] me! I know!! it was him calling you up out of the blue and being all “hey come here I want to start a whole battle”!!

heeeeeeeh

god I’m living for this. the brief swell of pity is gone as quickly as it arose lol. finish him off boiiiii

OH FOR FUCK’S --

DID YOU GUYS SOMEHOW FAIL TO GET THE MEMO. DID THE ENTIRE TOWN CRUMBLING APART NOT CLUE YOU IN THAT IT WAS TIME TO HEAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION

jesus. I would be impressed by their loyalty, except that none of them have given a fuck about the 100,000 hapless redshirts who’ve died fighting for them, so it seems pretty damn hypocritical for them to care so much about this one fucking guy. especially when his stupid plan singlehandedly destroyed everything your organization has spent their entire lives working for. in, like, an hour

anyway, Tomura is back to being hot again guys

motherfucker is fully aware of just how much everything is lining up his way right now. finally his childlike self-assuredness actually has some sort of basis in fact. you are exactly as badass as you think you are, sir. must be nice. you enjoy this; you deserve some nice things just this once before everything goes to shit again after this arc

holy shit, even Hanabata’s quirk is failing in the wake of that see-you-in-hell grin

I’m telling you dude, you should have been driving the other way. not that there’s any point now. enjoy your final seconds on this earth

LOL

“meaningless casualties” lmao that is the most pompous variation on “DON’T YOU GET IT, WE’RE ABOUT TO FUCKING DIE” I’ve ever heard

wow, so wait, is RD trying to beg for their lives now??

that’s a surprisingly classy move. unfortunately I’m fairly sure Tomura is going to show you exactly as much mercy as you were prepared to show him just a few minutes earlier. well maybe a little more mercy, since you were going to take your sweet time and he’ll probably end things quickly in comparison

anyway so now RD is having an internal dialogue with his dead great-grandpa about how Tomura turned out to be the living embodiment of everything they were fighting for

and actually, he’s not wrong when you think about it. which just goes to show you how deeply flawed their philosophy really was. there’s a hugely important distinction between “freedom to be who you are” and “freedom to do whatever the fuck you want, including hurting and oppressing others”

anyway, so in the end he didn’t ask for mercy. “I picked a fight with you and lost. if you mean to kill me, then get it over with.” well I guess that is still classy in its own way though

also, Machia is staring at Tomura and seeing this

which is an awesome visual, and I love that Horikoshi went with that instead of more internal monologuing. nothing else even needs to be said

-- !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT

SDFSLDKJFLJS HOLY SHIT

yooooooooooo. oh shit

I did not see that coming. should have, probably. there was a lot of buildup to it in hindsight. Tomura and the gang started out the arc flat-out broke, and now at the end of things they acquire a company with precisely the resources they need. manpower, cash, and technological innovations. oh shit. oh shit

oh my god the look on Ujiko’s face. this worked out better than he ever could have hoped

pausing it here because I did in fact laugh and I love it. [pats]

this boy has a 5/5 intelligence score in the character databook. he’s a genius. nothing gets past him. his reflexes are too fast

aaaaaand that’s the end of the chapter. well, then. to reiterate: we are well and truly fucked y’all

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 239 #shigaraki tomura #re-destro #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #well that's just great #now he has an army *and* a hulk #on the bright side #having seen what this army is capable of #I don't think we need to worry too much about that particular new asset

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my-happy-little-bean · 4 years

Text

Figment of My Mind

pairing: none~ warnings: mild swearing, body horror, death (though it is implied that it is imaginary), bloody imagery, mentions of poison, mentions of thunder storms, mentions of fire/allusions to burn-out, slightly unsympathetic!patton / morally grey!patton, unsympathetic!janus, remus, & virgil words: 3334

summary: Roman tries to make the right choice, but falls into something much more than just “wrong”.

Or: the one where Roman chose neither the wedding or the callback.

a/n - hello, it is i, bean; posting some rough, angsty horror at like 1 am because that’s !! just !! where we’re at right now! working on everything but the thing we’re supposed to be working on!

i was heavily inspired by the song “figment of my mind” by bruno major (someone pleeeease make an animatic with this song it’s great), so that’s what the lyrics are! it was also written to make @wisepuma23 and @thesocialbookwormishere proud lol – they’re such talented beans, and i wanted to hop on their angsty train to horror town lol.

i’m sorry if this isn’t the happiest journey, but i really enjoyed writing something! it reminds me of that angst i wrote for patton when “can lying be good” came out – ah, the good ol’ days of bean angst lol.

enjoy!

[read on ao3~]

––

“i traveled into deep space to see what i could find a purple angel led me to the universe inside.

welcome to the real world not the dream you left behind. that was all a figment of your mind.”

––

When Roman left his room, the stars in the sky were only still forming.

It was late at night. Thomas (and by extension, Patton) had already gone to bed in tears. They have been doing that all week.

Logan had confided in him a few days back, confessing that he wasn’t sure why Patton was crying. Patton had nothing to lose with the verdict Roman made. In fact, he still won in some ways. He had theorized to empty, static-filled ears that perhaps Patton’s tears were just a reflection of Thomas’ emotions; a normal reaction everyone dramaticized to illogical extents.

Then he theorized idly that maybe Patton was crying because he felt like he was wrong the whole time.

(Roman didn’t leave his room for two days straight after hearing that.)

They didn’t have much left for Roman nowadays, and neither did Thomas. The days crept closer to dreaded April 13th and no one made a sound. Nothing was being done, nothing was being made. It was as if everyone was haunted by Roman’s decision; as if the sound of the gavel was echoing everywhere he stepped.

And then, as April 12th ended– when Roman finally thought it was all over–

he realized that neutrality in a war was the enemy.

(In a moment of hypocrisy, Patton yelled at him, “Dishonourable.”)

So that was why he was here, sneaking out through the hidden door of his room and into the Imagination. He moved swiftly across the fields of nighttime fog and dew-covered grass to the giant, steel gates guarding The Dark Side.

Or, the other side.

(It hurt less to think of himself like an ‘other’ rather than...well, that.)

He stood before the towering gates. It made sense that he felt like he was crossing paths into the dark forest Disney movies warned him about. A streak of lightning cracked across the sky like splintering glass, and every three minutes, a maniacal cackle shook the ground at beneath feet.

Leave it to Remus to be so dramatic.

It’s been a while since you’ve seen him, he thought wearily, gripping the hilt of his sword just in case. Would he even let you near him?

And then, a bitter thought: There has to be some family who will.

Suddenly, a cold hand grabbed his shoulder. Lightening screamed with him as he turned on his heel and whipped his sword tall in front of him.

“Show yourself, vil–”

Then, his vision cleared.

It was suddenly raining in the Imagination, and Virgil stood in it, drenched.

“Virgil,” he hissed, slowly lowering his sword. “I could have killed you.”

“Can’t die.” The words came out as a low rumble, one that shook the earth beneath them in a different way. “Not real, remember?”

“But you– but we’re–”

Virgil shook his head, waving a hand in front of him with a smug smile.

“Relax, Princey.” The old nickname pressed itself into Roman’s arm like a curse crawling on doomed lands. “Just some dark, 3 am humour.”

It wasn’t much reassurance, but Roman didn’t care. He was already clinging onto it tightly, never wanting to let it go.

“What are you doing here, J.D-lightful?”

“Trying to figure out what the fuck you’re up to.” Virgil leaned forward, almost cockily. “What are you doing here?”

A pause. Roman forced his stare down at the rotten dirt below him.

“I’m going to fix everything,” he muttered.

Virgil skipped the first obvious question. “And you think Remus is going to help with that?”

“I think something there will.” Roman pressed his feet into the ground with a snarl. He gripped onto the hilt of his sword even tighter. “If I go now, Remus will never even need to know.”

Roman noticed how Virgil grit his teeth and clutched the sleeves of his gridded hoodie as if it’d swallow him whole and make him disappear completely.

“What do you even need in there?”

Roman turned his back on him as another crack of lightning shattered the glassy sky above them.

“Remus controls intrusive and destructive thoughts,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “And what is the only destructive thought plaguing all of us right now?”

The answer hung between them, dead as the grass impaled by the ends of the metal gates.

“What if Thomas had gone?”

“So you made a decision then.” Virgil’s voice, despite its venom, held an edge of worry. “A bit too late to figure out what the right choice was, no?”

Roman huffed, standing tall despite the fact that his words made him shrivel.

“If you’re just going to stand there and be completely unhelpful,” Roman growled, walking towards the gate and grabbing the handle, “I’m just going to take my leave now–”

“Wait.”

Roman stiffened at the layered tone of Virgil’s voice. He spun around to face him against his will, being forced to look at the hooded side.

Virgil suddenly stuck his hand out, and Roman saw a glimpse of dark eyeshadow painted in thick layers over itself under his eyes.

“If you cross, you know what’s going to happen, don’t you?”

Roman blinked. “What?”

“You– do you even know what you’re getting yourself into?”

“Not the point of an adventure, is it, Marilyn Morose?”

Virgil groaned. “I should let the damn thing eat you alive, Jesus Christ…”

“Seriously, what are you talking about?”

Virgil waved his hand, still outstretched.

“Let me take you.” Another bolt of lightning pierced the sky. Roman felt as if it was going to fall on him at any second. “If you can survive with me, you’ll probably leave with what you really wanted.”

Roman stared at his hand, as if the offer in it grew legs and was crawling up that inky checkered sleeve. Virgil’s words seemed to swarm in his head, and he didn’t quite understand what he was saying, but something told him that he needed to listen.

Virgil’s hand floated between them like a paranoid ghost.

And so, with a deep breath, Roman took it.

––

“we flew amongst the patterns, impossible designs they’d been there the whole time hidden by my eyes

if i’d had a body it surely would've cried but tears were a figment of my mind”

––

Roman felt himself fall apart when he touched Virgil; as if Virgil was passing sharp sparks between their palms, and those sparks were finding cracks in skin Roman didn’t even know existed.

It felt as if his entire world flipped vertically, the ground defying the laws of reality and throwing him, somehow, onto the floor at the other side of the gate.

Roman couldn’t even feel Virgil’s hand anymore. Instead, he just felt lightning stab his chest and blur his vision, a swirl of purple, yellow, and green swimming in front of him.

Then, it all stopped in an audition room.

Virgil was nowhere to be seen, but Roman could feel him everywhere. He made himself believe that it was just because Thomas always felt this way before an audition.

Maybe it was the monotone filter of it all. Everything in the room—the camera, the table, two chairs, the walls—were various shades of black and white.

And he was standing, stuck, in front of the empty chair. He still felt dizzy from whatever hellish trip Virgil had sent him on. He wanted to stumble on his feet just to make it feel more real, but he was rooted on the ground, completely still.

Then, lightning struck the two chairs and when the smoke cleared, Deceit and Patton were staring at him,

their eyes crossed out in yellow, drawn-on dashes.

“SING.”

Roman felt himself reel back at Patton’s voice, and a piano– out of sight, out of mind– began to play. The moral side had leaned over the table and slammed his fists into its surface, dark cracks in the wood blossoming from the contact. The noise was so loud, yet useless in muffling the haunted ivory keys, which played a hollow echo of Roman’s favourite audition song.

Fuck.

Deceit said nothing, but he did smile at Roman in that kind– no, deceitful way he always did.

Did Deceit always have that line near his lip?

Roman shook his head. Forget Deceit. This audition wasn’t what he wanted. This was Thomas’ dream. This is what they had to choose. Mary Lee and Lee would surely understand, and so would Patton. He was selfless all the time, he deserved this. Deceit was right.

In fact, Patton, in a fabricated moment of clarity, could possibly understand that now. Perhaps his command was actually encouragement; encouragement Roman missed oh-so much.

Roman cleared his throat, straightening himself up. He could suddenly feel the ghost of Thomas mirror his movement in a lag.

The role didn’t even need Thomas to sing, but Roman did as he was told anyway. Maybe he had to play along to hold this decision in his hands and save everyone.

He smiled bravely.

“When you come home to me, I’ll wear a sweeter smile, and hope that for a while you’ll–”

“FAIL.”

Roman blinked. But he was perfectly in tune with–

“FAIL!” Patton screamed at him again, lunging forward over the table, which split in two. The sound of the piano above them began to eerily croak.

“Patton, I–”

“YOU FAILED!” Patton pointed at him as the accusation slipped his lips. Yellow poison leaked from the corners of his snarl and the piano went out of tune into a mess of sharps and flats.

Deceit sat still.

“DISHONOURABLE.” “WRONG.”

The words suddenly began to layer over each other in what felt like an infinite descending tone.

“YOU SIDED WITH THE VILLAIN AND–”

“HOW COULD YOU LET HIM GET AWAY WITH–” “WHAT KIND OF HERO–”

Roman finally tore his feet from the ground in shock. When he looked down at what initially bounded him, he saw yellow snapdragons coated with blood from his ankles, which was now pierced with thorns. The red and the yellow was so sharp– too sharp– in the midst of the black and white of the audition room.

On the broken piles of flowers he stepped away from laid the ghost of Thomas; on his knees and shaking.

“–FAILS?”

He felt tears slip down his cheeks and freeze into sharp crystals digging into his skin. In front of him was a broken dream, a broken man, the wrong choice–

And in the corner of his eye, Roman watched as Deceit grinned; the line extending his smile cracking.

Out through the cracks leaked blood.

––

“i was shown a few things I'd been getting wrong she told me i’m a good man and have been all along

by the way I heard her say, ‘there’s no such thing as time it’s all a figment of your mind’."

––

Roman’s scream ended when he was flipped upside down, now standing at an altar with a bouquet of yellow carnations.

The tears from the audition room were no longer piercing his skin, but they lingered as static in the form of a sticky residue. He was very certain that he was going to kill Virgil once he got home. This black and white world was somehow too bright, too daunting.

And he left him alone in it.

Roman focused his vision on the new sight in front of him, holding his bouquet tightly like some kind of chilling reminder.

A bride and a groom were walking away from the altar, their backs facing him. People were in the crowd, throwing the same yellow carnations into the air. It was a happy sight, despite the monochrome tinge. Violins sang brightly in what felt like the perfect photograph.

Perhaps this was the choice Virgil was talking about; the one he’d leave with; the one he really wanted. Yes, he could want this. Maybe he even needed this.

Because at the end of the aisle was Patton, black and white with a sharp grin.

Another layer of violins was placed on top of the pre-existing ones.

“kiddo, i’m so proud of you!”

Roman’s breath hitched, holding the bouquet tighter. Mary Lee and Lee were already gone, yet everyone kept throwing their flowers.

“you’re so good. so good.”

“my hero.”

Roman broke into a wide grin. This decision felt so close. Patton’s voice felt like a rush of summer air in the midst of a cold, winter night. The words felt like they were close– so close– to carrying Roman on his back closer towards this decision; like they were already spinning the hands of the clock back and–

Patton suddenly became blurry in his vision, and a green figure appeared beside him,

holding a dead Thomas by the neck.

Shit.

A familiar cackle cut through the illusionary Shepard tone created by the violins, which once played a sickly sweet melody in his ears. Roman looked at Remus, horrified, and then at Thomas.

Thomas was wearing his wedding outfit — Roman recognized it because he helped choose it, of course. And it was beautiful.

But at its seams were falling ashes; crispy burnt ends to such a beautiful suit.

And Thomas was white as a sheet, slowly crackling away in embers where he hung.

Remus’ grin was made of bloodied pearls, his white streak cracking and spreading in patches to other parts of his hair. He threw the Thomas corpse– was he really dead?– onto the ground and pulled back his morning star by both hands, ready to strike–

Then Patton stepped between Remus and Thomas, holding his hands over his face to catch the spikes of the morning star before it could finish its swing down. The violins shrieked with Patton and Roman watched as his hands began to bleed upon contact. The flowers were still being thrown, as if to celebrate this horrible victory.

Patton, struggling against Remus' persistent force, let out a heartbreaking sob.

“...how are we still being hurt?”

“why is he getting worse?”

“he shouldn’t be here, thomas is good–”

“–because you chose this –”

Roman’s heart broke when Patton stiffly met his eyes.

“what more are you going to do to stop this?”

Roman started to run towards the horrid sight, almost against his will. The violins hung above him, the chords pulling him back by his wrists, still attached to the bouquet of yellow carnations.

And he was screaming; screaming Patton’s name and crying as the petals of all the flying flowers slashed sharply at his face. The aisle seemed to make itself infinite, as of stringing Roman along on a treadmill moving too fast.

He could see the outline of Remus amidst the slowly-paling flower flurry; bright green with a thick red puddle pooling around his feet. He saw the outline of his grin, blood dripping from each tooth.

Patton’s voice was barely a whisper, yet was loud enough for it to echo all around Roman’s head.

“you’re not doing enough.”

“he has to be stopped.”

“stop this, hero, stop–”

And when Roman finally reached the end of the aisle, Thomas was nothing but ashes on the floor.

Patton stepped towards Roman, who slowly backed away. No no no no no–

Then, Patton grabbed the bouquet he was holding.

Roman gasped and looked down. Patton was bleeding red, palms cracked with scars and holes from Remus’ weapon.

He at least tried to save Thomas, Roman suddenly realized. What did I do?

Patton’s hand pierced the thorny stems of the carnations and his blood mixed with dripping green venom.

His tearful eyes met Roman’s.

“...what did you do?”

The air around Roman thinned. He looked over Patton’s shoulders and saw Remus, grinning and holding up his bloodied morning star.

It was on fire, and it caught onto the white cracks in his hair.

––

“waking with eyes closed from technicolor dreams crystal kaleidoscopes were singing blue and green

realer than real in front of me if only you could see what i could see”

––

Roman was fa(i/l)ling.

He was stuck in a spinning kaleidoscope; and circling him were shattered fragments of the horrible decision he made– the decisions he could make.

The memory of Deceit’s blood-soaked smile in the audition room.

The sight of Remus grinning with fire crackling embers in his hair.

The thought of Patton, glitching into two with his hands holding his head, being torn apart.

The view from below the towering gate (the lightning shattering the glassy sky)

and Virgil, standing in front of him with white cracks in his eyeshadow, pulling his hand back from Roman

to wrap himself in his old hoodie.

The violins had stopped and the piano had paused. What did this mean? Roman tried to hold himself around his feeble body — if he even had one right now.

No. He shuddered if he even could– no he was real. He was here, he was real, and he was failing.

Anxiety crawled through the cracks in his vision. He was straining his eyes trying to look at each fragment of his mistake. What did he need to do, what did he want to do, what was right, what was–

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

NO! Anything but this, he wanted to plead. This wasn’t it, he was supposed to be good– he couldn’t fail– what has he done?!

Suddenly, each fragment snapped and cracked in front of him, the kaleidoscope shattering piece by piece.

And reflected in each broken shard was Roman.

Paranoia’s voice echoed in his ears:

“Then why did you leave with this?”

––

“i slowly found my body, color began to fade i heard a piano playing a knowing serenade

this world feels backwards to my open eyes ‘cause it's all a figment of my mind.”

––

“–atton, if you touch him, you run the risk of–”

“–ET ME GO! ROMAN! ROMAN, WAKE UP, PLE–”

“–fucking stupid, how could he be so–”

Roman gasped, feeling himself seize up and face darkness. His head suddenly ached and he rubbed the spot he hit as he heard a low grumble from his left.

“Roman!” Patton. Roman shuddered. Patton’s sobs made him want to keep his eyes closed even more. “Roman, open your eyes, you’re home.”

“Patton, you mustn’t alarm him.” That was Logan. “And Virgil, are you okay? See, this is why I told you not to stand so close...”

A part of him was reassured to hear logic return to him. The nightmare must be over then, right?

He blindly grabbed to his left, as if to apologize to the side he hit, and felt stitches crossing in small x’s on fabric. A sigh of relief; there was Virgil.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Virgil’s voice sounded so distant, yet so clear. “You could’ve gotten hurt, going there alone–”

“Now what did we say about alarming him.”

“Roman.” Patton’s voice stung the most, an echo of the hell he just fell through. “Roman, open your eyes. It’s me– it’s us.”

And so Roman obliged, like he always did with Patton.

…

When Roman opened his eyes, he saw that he was back in his room, lying on his bed, staring at a blurry, white ceiling. As he sat up, Patton’s sobs grew louder and Logan’s breath hitched.

Virgil stayed quiet.

“What is it?” he asked groggily. Patton dissolved into more tears. Roman watched as Logan, sliced in half by navy blue and grey shards, held Patton close.

“Guys?” he asked again. He looked at Virgil and frowned. Some patches were grey, why were they–

Roman gasped, pushing past his family and turning his back on their grief. He made his way to the mirror in the corner of his room, tearing the hair in front of his eyes aside.

And staring back at him in his cracked mirror were irises split in half.

Black and amber.

click here for a new and improved masterlist of all my writing if you’re interested ^v^

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brieannakeogh · 5 years

Text

Ambition, Butter, and Wine- Ch 5

Ambition, Butter, and Wine- Kylo Ren x plus sized reader. Crack! Fic. You’re a new First Order recruit. Trained in the culinary arts at the top schools and they dare make you serve the common folk. What happens when you have the opportunity to serve Lord Ren?

Master List / Previous Chapter

Chapter 5

It was a couple of weeks later and you were moving into your own private suite. You weren’t sure who they kicked out to make room for you, but you felt giddy at imagining the officer’s face thinking he had been downgraded because of a mere cook. Really you hoped it was the officer’s chef who couldn’t cook himself out of a paper bag.

You were still laughing maniacally as you walk into your new room, arms full of clothes that you could barely see over the top of. It wasn’t until you bumped into something in the middle of the room and arms shot out to steady you, that you realized you weren’t alone. Coughing and choking on your own laugh as you stare into the faceless visor in front of you.

“I can see checking that you liked your new location was unnecessary.” You flinched a little hearing the filtered voice, some conditioned response from his reputation. The visor tilted at your reaction and you forced yourself to relax. It was just so different dealing with him in the full get up and cowl too. This man screamed danger. It was great to intimidate his enemies with but you didn’t think he was still trying to intimidate you, at least you hoped not. You were going to have to stay by his side for a very long time and with as much butter you cooked with, you didn’t think your heart could handle the stress.

“No, no this is great sir! Absolutely perfect!” Stepping around him to throw the clothes down onto the bed. “I really wasn’t expecting a queen bed, or the kitchenette.”

“I thought you would use it more wisely then...others that you don’t think so fond of.” The smirk in his voice evident even with the filter. You understood at once that your wish had become a reality. Not only had he provided the room you requested, but snatched it from the officer you despised. Your cheeks hurt from how wide your smile was and another cackle was drawn from you as threw yourself back, landing on the bed with a bounce and a giggle. “I also thought you could use this instead of the main kitchens so you weren’t disturbed.” He continued, ignoring your celebrating.

“Yes sir. Good idea sir.” You let out with a pant once you were worn out.

“I want roast for dinner, so you should get started on that soon.” With that he turned on his heel, the cape behind him billowing out. You didn’t even have a chance to affirm you heard him before he was stomping out of your room.

Three weeks later your second request was fulfilled. A half a dozen layers of clothing, hat, scarf and large boots, saw you wading through the snow outside the base. You had had no reason to go outside since you had arrived so you may have gone a little overboard when you heard about the subzero temperatures. When he told you what the plan was for that day at breakfast, he had stopped you at the door to remind you to dress warmly. Taking him seriously, you were bundled up, but had a hard time moving in the over ankle deep snow. Almost tipping over more than once. You were from a warm planet, what did you know about snow or subzero temps?

Kylo stood out like a black hole on the white and serene landscape. He was leading you to the woods, out of sight of the base. You wondered what the other people on duty thought as they saw you being lead out to who knows where by Kylo. “Most assumed you had displeased me and I’m leading you to your slaughter, just so I don’t have to do paperwork on the body.”

You tripped a little over your feet, startled more on his answering the silent question than the contents of his words. He hadn’t been doing that much lately, skimming your mind. You rarely felt the pressure anymore. You would assume it would be because he was worried about hurting you again, but that was silly.

Chuckling as you regained your footing. “No sir that wouldn’t happen. If I did displease you enough to kill me you would do it openly, in public. Probably in the galley during lunch rush, just to turn everyone’s stomach. What good is a private death if no lessen can be learned from it?”

The weird wheezing that you associated with him laughing through the filter, echoed around. “A warning for your replacement?”

“At that point it would be an inevitability on how the career ends. I don’t think you will kill me for an innocent mistake. If you are that enraged, I would have deserved it, I think. You like me too much otherwise.”

He halts and you take two steps past him, looking back. “My food, of course.” He starts up again.

“You’re getting cocky.”

“I’ve always been cocky. You usually just ignore it when you read my mind.” Another wheezing noise.

Now the two of you are far enough into the woods that you can’t make out the direction of the base without looking for your tracks. It’s completely silent, other than your panting breaths and the steady filtered air flow through his mask. You hadn’t realized how loud just the hum of the machines were on base. The frenzied activity, deafening.

Suddenly a screech tore through the woods and it made you stumble back. Your eyes closed tight waiting on the impact of the ground to your butt, since you knew you couldn’t right yourself, but it never came and you felt a slight pressure on your back. Opening your eyes you see Kylo in front of you with an arm out and his angry red lightsaber lit by his side, humming.

The visor shaking back and forth as the pressure on your back increased, tilting you back up standing. You realized the horrible sound that startled you was his saber activating. You’ve never been close enough to one of his tirades to hear it, but now you understood what all the fuss was about.

“Useless in battle.”

“I’m a chef not a fighter. I never thought I would be out on the field.” Brushing off snow that isn’t there on your clothes just so you don’t have to look up at him from embarrassment.

His visor tilted again studying you. “How are you with a blaster?”

You shrug, which isn’t much movement under all the layers. “I passed the basic test, but since my position didn’t require it, I didn’t try for the advanced.”

“I’ll set you up with more blaster training. You might be exposed to more combat in your current position and I doubt you could run away from a fight.”

Crossing your arms to your chest in indignation. “Is that supposed to be a commentary on my size Lord Ren?”

The snort was clear, even through the mask. “No, your personality.” He clicked the saber off and held it out to you. “You did ask the most powerful force user in the galaxy to let you destroy something with his lightsaber.”

You cleared your throat and brought your scarf over your mouth and nose a bit more to hide your face, before reaching out to take the offered weapon. He maneuvered you by the shoulders to stand in front of a stump. It was a big stump, about half wide as you were tall and it came up to a little above your waist. “Now,” He says very close behind you, the warmth at your back appreciated. “You must understand that I created this weapon, it is in tune to me. It shouldn’t fight you, but if it starts to feel off...or odd, I don’t know how it would feel to a non force user, make sure to turn it off and drop it at once.”

Well that was a scary speech. “I didn’t know they could have minds of their own.” You chuckled nervously.

And now the wheeze is back and it’s definitely a laugh and definitely louder than it has been before. “You people really have no idea how it works do you?”

“Well excuse me for not being able to fling things around with just a thought! That would be awesome, but we can’t all be special.”

You feel him stiffen behind you, hands tightening on your shoulders. “It is special. Rare. It’s also hard, trying and isolating. I am the best because I have to be. There is no room for second place. I think you understand that as well.”

“Our ambition is only second to our limits, but you seem limitless to me.”

“As I said, you know nothing of the force.”

“But I know how to chop up a stump!” Trying to lighten up the brooding talk with enthusiasm for what you were about to do seemed to work. “So how do you turn this thing on?” Rotating it around the big shiny button obvious when you see it.

“Wait!” He bites out and backs off a safe distance from swing reach, moving to stand more in front of you to watch. “Proceed, and I hope I don’t have to remind you that it cuts through anything, including bone, with ease.”

You carefully hold it out front of yourself, making sure the vents are away from your fingers and the correct end is out. Pushing up on the switch produces that same screeching noise as before. For some reason you expected it to be heavier when lit, but of course that was stupid as it’s just an energy beam without mass. Having all the weight in the hilt makes it seem unbalanced. You gave a few cursory swings around in the air, being careful to not hit any of your limbs. Once you got the feel of it, you gave your best battle cry and started demolishing the defenseless stump in front of you.

There was no push back, very little resistance. Other than the effort it took to swing your arms over your head, you could go on forever. A hot knife through butter flashed in your head. When the thing in front of you resembled more splinters of wood then a stump, you dropped your arms down to your side, flipping the switch to turn it off. You were exhausted, but it wasn’t all just physical. Yes your lungs burned from the cold air from your heavy pants, and your arms were sore, but you felt mentally tired too, like something was drained from you. It was eerily like when he pushed into your mind too far and too hard.

Kylo removed the saber from your hand. You hadn’t even registered he walked back near you. “Did the stump have a name?”

It took you a second to understand what he said, your brain a little fuzzy on adrenaline again. “Carl. Carl the stump.” It’s name wasn’t Carl, but Kylo didn’t question it. “He cheated on Mrs. Stump two years into the marriage, left her destitute. Now Carl is kindling.”

“As I said, personality. I’ll have you start blaster training next week.” You nod absentmindedly. “Let’s go inside, it’s fucking freezing.” Laughing at the man who’s probably in thermal padded armor, you trudge along behind, following your tracks back to the base.

Next Chapter

So I know I’ve been MIA for a while and sorry about that. I’ve been in and out of the hospital and hadn’t done much other than try to deal with that and trying not to freak out about the new complications in my life. I’m starting to feel like myself again so maybe I’ll be able to do a bit of writing and get back on a normal scheduled. For now though it’s just going to be what it is and I’ll try to post chapters when I can.

As always I would love to hear from you all and if you want to be added to the tag list just send me a message.

Thank you all for sticking around!

@stevieang, @albinotigerpython, @paintballkid711, @lilypalmer1987, @tnupsweetpie

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