#hey lets remind you of every failed connection and past friendship ever and point out similarities to some current ones

[ggreactionsandscenarios]

Lia x Reader

Requested by : @scandalousmaniac

Connection

“I swear there is something, you’re just too blind to see it !”

Your friends were once again arguing over the fact that your crush on your best friend wasn’t one sided. They had this bad habit of trying to analyse your interactions with her and gave you their interpretations once Lia would go to the bathroom.

“Stop saying nonsense, what made you think such a thing in the first place anyway ?”

Your friends gave you a ‘are you serious ?’ look before slapping your forehead one by one.

“What made us think that ?! Seriously Y/N ! The way she looks at you, care for you. She literaly blow on your hot chocolate because you might get burned, who even does that ?!”

“Lia does ! She always did !”

You tried to defend yourself but to be honest you already knew you weren’t going to win against them especially not against a fed up Yuna.

“You know Y/N if you don’t want to admit it, we can’t really do anything to force you to. But maybe you should just stop putting walls between you and her just because you’re afraid she might not like you back when you already know she does.”

“I.. “

Ryujin cut you off before you could answer Yeji.

“Just think about it okay ? We’ll talk about it on another time your girlfriend is coming back.”

You eyes followed Ryujin’s, not even arguing with the word she used to refer to Lia. When you saw Lia's face you knew something was wrong.

Jisu had her head down and behind her Chaeryeong was making decapitation signs which was for sure not a good sign. Your bestfriend’s eyes were stuck on her phone screen. You got up meeting her halfway, letting Chaeryeong know you were handling whatever was happening with Lia.

“Is everything okay ?”

Lia faced you, her eyes visibly on the verge of crying. She didn’t say anything but pulled you in the tighest hug, her hands tangled in your shirt while you could feel her tears running against your neck. You embraced her small body against yours, a hand in her hair drawing small patterns on her scalp while the other was on her back.

“Bring me home Y/N.”

You hated him, from the bottom of your heart you hated him. Once again a guy was breaking your best friend's heart and you were left with the saddest Lia could be.

Lia and you have been best friends since as far as you could remember. You met in middle school and that eye smile made you fall for her almost immediately.

Even though your relationship with her never been anything beyond friends you could tell that you had a connection. It wasn't like a simple friendship there was more to it, you were linked more deeply than that.

On some days you believed it was because of all the time you spent together, all the thing you went through as one but you knew it was even deeper than that, it was older too.

It started the day you met her eyes for the very first time, it was like everything fell in place at that moment and ever since nothing change for you.

Unfortunately you couldn't tell the same for Jisu, you couldn't keep track of the number of boyfriends that went by during all this time.

Obviously you hated everyone of them, all worst than the past one in your eyes, even when your other friends found one of them kind of cool the only thing you could think of him was disgust.

And you were right because of course none of them kept the distance, like today they all let her down somehow.

Anyway you were way better and qualified to take care of your best friend than they were. And if you believed your friends, you'll be better as her girlfriend too but that was something else.

You put the crying Lia in bed, she cried herself to sleep once again because of an asshole. It was making you see red but her sleeping face reminded you that every time it happened she got up again more powerful than ever, the thought bringing a smile to your face.

And you were right not later than the morning after she already forgot the guy and was getting you to do a movie marathon with her. Never in a million years you’d thought things would turn out like this.

For some reasons your friends' words were making much more sense now that you were engulfed in a blanket, Lia’s head on your shoulder. It was something common between you two, you had always been comfortable with being close to each other.

But now that everything was sinking in, you noticed that you never saw your bestfriend hug any of her exs, not that you were complaining but for someone who likes skinship as much as Lia does, it was odd. Even the girls don’t get as much physical interactions as you receive from your bestfriend.

You tried to brush the thought away, maybe it was because you were bestfriends after all.

To be honest the movie wasn’t interesting enough to get you out of your mind. Playing on the screen was some sort of romantic movie between the typical badboy and the shy girl scenario. Beurk, way too straight for you and even if it wasn’t way too cliché anyway. 

“You don’t like it ?”

The soft voice of your bestfriend for sure got you out of you thought faster tham any other film would have.

“What ?” You asked confused on what she was refering to exactly.

“The movie, you don’t like it ?” She asked again.

“Of course I love it ! What do you mean ? It’s an amazing movie.”

You knew your attempt failed as soon as you met her eyes but Lia didn’t say anything, she let you believe you had a chance with your lame lie.

“Oh yeah ? What’s the title ? No better what’s the main character’s name ?”

You rolled your eyes at the way she was smirking, proud to catch you lying.

“Ok I hate it.”

“Sorry I didn’t get what you just said ?”

“I hate it ! You win stop torturing me please.”

She chuckled at how dramatic you were being and you swear that chuckle could have killed you if you weren’t already dead.

“Why did you agree to watch it then ?”

She encircled your neck with her arms getting your faces closer than they already were which made you lower your head. Trying to avoid any eye contact with hers or with her lips was hard but needed if you didn’t want to get lost in an intense contemplation.

“Because you wanted to.”

She smiled at you, one of her famous one million dollar eye smile that you fell in love with. She reached for your cheeks, squeezing them with her hands which was good because it would cover for the blushing mess you were becoming.

"You're so cute Y/N, but you know you can say no to me."

"No actually I can't and I don't want to anyway."

You didn't know why you were being suddenly so bold, but your inner self was happy to let your feelings out even just a little for once.

The main issue though was that while you were talking, Lia's gaze fell on your lips making you mirror her and you were now trap in contemplating hers.

Before you could comprehend anything she was kissing you. Maybe you were blind after all, Yuna was probably right, you thought now that you were facing a clear sign of Lia's feelings towards you. The only thing you were thinking of was how it could still mean nothing.

You were too lost in your head to really kiss her back or even enjoy the kiss before she withdrew herself from you. You cursed under your breath for having waist such an occasion and especially since you knew it probably wouldn't happen twice.

"I ... I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that... I... You.."

"It's okay Lia, calm down."

You were hurt not gonna lie but you didn't care about you, your main concern was Lia and nothing else.

"I understand, you just broke up you needed comfort. It's okay."

You were silently dying while saying those words but if you could prevent her from leaving you it was worth it.

"What ? No ! That's not why I did it."

You were lost, you couldn't understand what was her reason if it wasn't about feeling sad and lonely.

"Then why ?"

Lia sat back against you, head on your shoulder like before.

"I.. Chaeryeong and I talked when we were in the bathroom ..before I received the text..."

You were already cursing Chaeryeong.

"... She told me I wasn't discreet, that it shows. "

"What shows ?" You asked confused, having trouble to follow her point.

"My feelings for you. She told me, everybody knew that I love you, everybody except you so I figure out I might just go for it but I guess I was wrong."

She turned her head towards you, checking if you were listening or not. But of course you were, you were just lagging hard right now. She just confessed. It's been some time now that you knew you had it bad for her but you never thought about confessing, not even once. Too scary, too risky and well too daring for you but she just did it, just like that.

"It's okay I know you don't feel the same I noticed."

"What did you just say ?"

"I know you don't like me."

"No before that."

"That I love you ?"

Wow that sounded amazing in your ears, you only dreamed about such a thing happening.

"Same."

"What ? No, I didn't say same."

She tried to remember what she actually said and it was so cute to see her search for nothing.

"I did. I'm saying same."

"Wait. What ?"

"I love you too."

You thought you were lagging but by seeing Lia right now you could almost read 'Error 404' on her forehead.

"Did you just ?!"

"I think so, yeah."

Lia crashed her lips on yours and this time you didn't waist time thinking, second chance don't come that often so you were just going to go for it like Lia taught you to.

Hey, here is your request. Sorry it took some time, give feedbacks and don't hesitate to request again 😊 -Ael

#girl group #kpop girls #girlfriend #girl group scenarios #itzy icons #itzy #lia itzy #choi lia #itzy lia #choi jisu #lia scenarios #lia imagines #jisu #itzy jisu

[marauderssequels]

meet the project managers!

we have a fantastic team assembled for this series, and it’s finally time to hear a little about a few of them! each and every one of us is dedicated to creating the books this community deserves, and I hope you’ll stick with us through this seven-book journey :)

Hi! I'm Richa, your designated Gryffindor stereotype. I'm 18 and I'm in charge of managing Book One of the series, as well as the character arcs for James (my favourite character!!) and McGonagall. I'm Indian and my pronouns are they/them. What I love most about the marauders is their friendship and how they'd do anything for each other, how they lived their lives raising hell wherever they went, how they're so different from each other and yet so similar, how they're the epitome of loyalty and chaos. I love their story, and so I'm really excited to be working on this project with so many creative people and I can't wait to see how it turns out! I'll be active on the Discord server and I’m TRYING to be more active on Tumblr (@imadiamond) too but lets be real I’m failing so don't hesitate to connect, I'd love that! :)

Hello, I’m Chloe (she/her and @nerds-escape), I’m 18, a Ravenclaw, I’m going to be double majoring in Anthropology and Criminology, and I’m the manager for Book Three! I’m great at projecting onto Dorcas (and Peter) whomst I am in charge of! While the original stories are interesting, there is something to be said about the Marauders and their friendships; we know virtually nothing about them, and it’s fun that the Marauders got to have a little more of a “teenage typical” view of the world growing up than Harry did. I’m always looking to get into projects, especially ones with lasting impressions. I had just finished working on the Marauder’s Pride Fanzine and figured I had room for another project, so I offered my help. We have come up with some amazing ideas so far and I’m super excited to see how the project ends up!

Hi, I’m Raina (she/her)! I’m the head of Book Four, and I’m managing Snape and Marlene’s character arcs. I’m a 19 year old English major and an aspiring novelist. I love to read, write, and draw, and I always find something to fangirl over. Harry Potter’s been a major obsession of mine for basically my entire life and I’m so excited to work on this project together. I’m active on the Discord server (raina//raincoat) and my tumblr is @yellowraincoat. Feel free to reach out and interact!

hey there, im aj (but you can also call me alex). my pronouns are they/them and i'm the co-manager of books 3 and 5. i've adored the marauders era and always have read fanfics (since jkr ever-so-nicely didn't write an official series for them), so the fact that im now part of a project which basically will talk bout the marauders during their school years is kinda cool, if im being honest and i cant wait to see how this goes!

I'm Toni (they/them), I’m in charge of Book 6 and the character arcs for Lily and Petunia. I also run the discord server (I’m Toni on there as well). My tumblr is @toni-d-b and it’s very chaotic (I’m sorry). I’m German, so I have a different time zone than most (I’m in UTC+1) and english is my second language, but it’ll be ok, I’m bilingual at this point and sleep is a lie. I will however remind all americans of the absurdity of everything about america at any chance I get. What I think I love the most about this fandom is that it is one at all. In the sense that we took little bits and pieces and built an era around them. There were mentions of people and now they are fully fleshed out characters and I just think that’s very neat of us to do that. That is also the reason I want to be part of this project and maybe to give back to this community I found.

hello, I’m ryn! I launched this project in august, and I run this blog and organize the tiers. I started this series because I wanted to find a place for myself and others in the harry potter stories again. the marauders are characters with so much potential, and the way fandom has shaped them is so loving and meaningful. I’ve always wanted more canon content for them, but I know now that our versions of them are better than anything that could come from the original author. bringing our community closer together through a project like this feels like the best possible way to connect again in one of the most isolating times many of us have experienced. I’m so happy to be working with all these incredible people, their introduction was long overdue and they can’t get enough credit for the fantastic work they’ve been putting in over the past few months. we’re going to bring you an amazing series, and I can’t wait to bring more passionate creators in as we launch production next month <3

#harry potter #hp #marauderssequels #marauders #marauders era #hp headcanons #marauders headcanons #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #severus snape #jily #wolfstar

[nypmphetsbastard]

Paradis Island ch2

Genre: slowburn fanfiction, college!au

Pairings: yelena x fem!oc

Summary: college becomes a whirlpool of new people and emotions once you meet a woman by the name of yelena manages to weasel her way into your once perfect life and tear down everything you ever thought to be true. together, she introduces you to new world she likes to call 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱.

Warnings: angst, smut, hurt/comfort, struggles with religion, homophobia

A/N: reminder that this story is also posted on ao3 [NYMPHETSBASTARD]

————————

PIECK'S FRIENDS couldn't be described anything short of...odd. Porco didn't talk much and when he did it was always sarcasm slipping out of his tongue and multiple eye rolls. Hange was....a character. You had recently come to find out about their wild science obsession that they swore up and down wasn't an obsession, was the main part of their personality. They rambled about random scientific theories that were proven right, wrong, unidentifiable and theories they believed to be correct. It was interesting and gave you a new perceptive on a lot of things you haven't thought about before.

Hange tackled you into a hug and rocked the two of you back and forth on the sidewalk outside of the library. Porco both tried and failed trying to get them off you and with a sigh he just gave up.

"I'm gonna miss you so much! Thank you for listening to me!" They pulled away with a gasp, "We need to hang out again soon! I have so much to tell you about!" You laughed at their excitement

"Okay okay Hange, I think she gets it." Pieck chuckled lightly, Hange dismissively waved their hand at their dark haired friend and pushed up their satchel.

"Bye! It was nice meeting you!" Hange exclaimed, waving their arm around wildly and almost smacking Porco in the face, earning them a glare from the blonde.

"See ya." Porco waved, ignoring Hange's air talking towards you that said 'call me' with a fake phone in their hand.

Laughing at Hange being yanked away by Porco for taking too long, you turned back to Pieck as she linked her arm in yours.

"You're friends are interesting." You pointed out, Pieck giggled and nodded

"Yeah they're definitely different, but I prefer a couple of weirdos than a big group of fake friends." Nodding in understanding, you began to think back to your home town.

"I wouldn't know. I've never had many friends and the one friend I did have barley paid attention to me or my life so..." you mumbled, drifting off thinking about how sad your life actually was.

"Well don't worry, you're not missing out on much." Pieck nudged you, "I had a big group of friends in high school and the one thing I learned is that popular people are only popular for their looks, definitely not personality." You two laughed together, "The group ended up being problematic for a lot of reasons and the only ones left that were still close were me and Porco. Funny thing is, Hange used to be considered a huge nerd in our school and our group made fun of them but me and Porco hung out with them and for some reason we just..,couldn't shake em off. They love us and we love them, even they do have a little screws loose in the head."

You laughed her joke but couldn't help but think about yourself. Wishing you had friends that cared about you and talked about you like Pieck did even when you weren't around.

Noticing your frown, Pieck nudged you once more, "And now you're our friend" you smiled at her and nodded. The one question that had been itching at your for hours finally felt like enough as you looked down at your moving feet.

"So...what's the deal with...Yelena?" It felt almost sinful saying her name, Pieck's attention instantly turned to you at the mention of her name.

"What do you mean?"

"Like...are you guys friends or....? How did you become close?" You asked hesitantly, the fair skinned girl looked over at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you asking me how to get a date with Yelena?" Pieck questioned, you stopped in your tracks and looked at her with wide eyes.

"No no no no no, I-I'm not— I don't— my religion I-" you sputtered out nervously, Pieck's eyebrows came together at your random word vomit as she crossed her arms staring at you, "I mean! I'm fine with gay people I just— I'm not" your words were cut off by Pieck's soft angelic laugh.

"Relax, kid. I don't think you're homophobic but your questions were a little...off putting" She searched for the words to say and cringed at the one she came up with, you shook you head and sighed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude."

"No it's fine. I'm not actually close with Yelena...in that way, I am in other ways but we're not really good with day to day conversations. That's Zeke's job. They've been friends since middle school I think and I guess it's stayed that way, don't know why but I guess history keeps friendship alive." She shrugged, you nodded and fished out your dorm room key out of your pocket, unlocking the door and bringing the two of you inside.

Honestly, you didn't understand why you felt such a pull towards Yelena. She was nothing short of intimidating, she wasn't short of anything actually. Her tall stature loomed over everybody in the room no matter how tall they believed they were, she was taller. Not only that, her dark colored sanpaku eyes made her already bored expressions look so blank yet so intimidating at the same time. She was an enigma to you. One you couldn't figure out.

"Shit, we don't have anything to drink." Pieck cursed, taking a look inside the mini fridge she had under her desk. Technically there wasn't enough space in the door to get an actual fridge so Pieck had just bought a mini fridge and insisted the two of you share it.

"I'll get some juice from the vending machine." You offered, Pieck let out a breath and gratefully took your offer.

"Here, buy me a cranberry juice, please?" You took the money Pieck handed you and nodded, sliding on some frog slippers and making your way own out of the dorm and towards the vending machine.

Truthfully? You had no idea where the vending machine was. A small glance towards it while walking past gave you idea enough that the machine existed, where? Well you'd have to figure that out. Trying to retrace your steps at any was hard enough given how short your memory was so you tried your best to think of the last time you crossed it. You probably looked crazy peaking over every corner you came across and looking up at the sky trying to remember but it was nearly one in the morning so you doubted anyone was just casually walking around for fun.

"Are you looking for something?" Asked a familiar voice from behind you, you whipped around and definitely did not make eye contact with whoever was in front of you. Your eyes slowly slid up till they landed on the two eyes you couldn't get out of your mind.

"Huh?" You choked out

"You're walking around like you don't know where you're going, are you looking for something?" She explained patiently, you blinked as the wheels in your head finally began turning.

"O-oh yeah, I am actually! Do you know where the vending machine is?" You asked despite your nervousness, the short haired girl looked at you with a blank face for a moment before she titled her head to the side and let her eyes fall behind you to the large vending machine that sat at the end of the open alleyway. Nearly heating up in embarrassment, you quietly thanked her and walked over to the large machine.

Your mind was so clouded with forcing yourself to not embarrass yourself while also trying to remember what drink Pieck asked you to get her that you didn't even notice the steps getting closer. Her steps got closer and closer till she walked around your crouched frame and leaned against the wall. You could barley look over at her, only catching the click of metal and the hiss of a lighter. Yelena snapped the metal lighter shut and looked over at you.

"You like cranberry juice?" She asked, pointing at the small bottle in your hand as a small smirk gracing her lips as she popped the cigarette in her mouth.

"Mmh? Oh no this isn't for me it's...it's for Pieck." You explained, Yelena simply nodded and continued taking a drag from the deadly paper wrapped nicotine. Deciding to finally make a move, you walked over to her and leaned against the wall as she'd done previously.

"Smoking is bad for you." You said bluntly, Yelena chuckled and blew the smoke out of her nose.

"I know." She stated simply.

It was a one word response, not much for a conversation but it didn't need to be. You were fine just staring at her while she stared right back, not a word being said. For once in your life, silence wasn't awkward or condescending. It was just...quiet. The kind of quiet you seeked in the middle of the night when your parents fought or when the day felt like too much, the kind of quiet you craved in the middle of an overcrowded area, the kind of quiet you longed for. You didn't mind the quiet. You didn't mind the quiet with her.

In your eyes is your humanity, the person you really are. There are times it gets lost, when you wear that facade, the facade of not caring about anyone or anything. But in that alleyway you stared into each other's souls. She said cheeky was good; she let you be yourself. You laughed so much, at times stopping because you knew a torrent of giggles would wake any scholars in nearby dorms. That's all you ever needed to connect to her in that moment, you and her, just eyes, no words. If you were mute your words and hushed giggled it would be all the same.

You bit your lip, trying to hold back to the unattractive snort that nearly made it out as Yelena chuckled at you,

"Hey, I'm serious! It was a very traumatizing experience." She joked, pushing your shoulder lightly

"And you just had to share that traumatic experience with me of all people?"

"Well, who else was I gonna tell the story of how I found a birthmark in the shape of Texas on Zeke's ass?" At that point you couldn't let it in and just begin laughing at her serious face, you looked away and leaned your head on your hand that rested on your knees as the two of you sat on the sidewalk.

"Literally anyone else! You have so many friends." You exclaimed. Yelena sighed and leaned back, holding herself up on one arm and running the other hand through her short blond hair.

"Not real friends. My 'friends' haven't laughed with me like this in...years." She revealed

"What about Zeke?" Just as the words slipped out, the blond woman's eyes widened as she side eyed you.

"Zeke? You think Zeke has any humors bone in his body?" Yelena asked incredulously, at that you truly snorted and let your head fall forward.

"Okay, okay, fair point." You agreed, lifting your head up just on time to see the woman letting her tongue slip out from her mouth and wet her pink lips, a silver shine of metal catching your eye in a quick second.

"You have a tongue piercing?" You asked curiously, besides the obvious silver septum piercing with horns pointing out the end, you never even noticed the metal piece in her mouth.

"Yeah" was all she said, dropping her hand between her man spread legs and looking at you with a head tilt.

"Can I see?" Yelena looked at you and smirked before leaning in closer

"Well you'd have to take your pants off for that." You blinked

"h-huh?" You stuttered, not expecting the answer. The blond chuckled at your nervous state and stood up in front of you, leaning down and grabbing your chin in her hand, her face getting closer to yours.

"You're an adorable little kitten, aren't you?" She whispered, you sat paralyzed as the two of you stared into each other's eyes once more, your eyes faltering down to her lips once more.

Sucking your teeth, you looked away from her sharp gaze and focused your attention on a random garbage bag a couple feet away from you .

"I have a name, you know?" You asked with a raised eyebrow, Yelena stood up at her full height and tucked her hands into her pockets looking down at you.

"Of course you do. See you around, kitten." Were her final words before she sauntered off, leaving you starstruck on the sidewalk.

You dropped your head backwards till it hit the soft plush bed you'd been craving the entire day. Falling asleep was one of the best parts of the day, there in the cozy blankets, snug and safe was where you could finally let go and let the world of dreams come to you in its dancing way. Let your mind rewind recent events and turn it into some weird ball of a mess that you would t even remember once the sun rose and your tired eyes blinked open.

Warm hands shrugged you somewhat roughly, effectively waking you up and not giving your mind enough time to catch up.

"Psst, it's time to wake up." Whispered a soft voice, you groaned and rubbed your eyes.

Once you adjusted to the natural lights beaming through the window, your mind finally processed Pieck running around your shared bedroom and dropping random clothes onto your bed hurriedly.

"What's going on?" You asked groggily

"You told me you have Professor Erwin first period, I had him last year and trust me you do not want to be late to his class, especially on the first day." She rushed out, handing you a random pair of sneakers as the wheels in your head finally began turning and you realized you had to get your ass out the door and to his classroom in 15 minutes.

"Oh fuck-" you cursed, throwing on the clothes Pieck had picked out for you and being stopped in your tracks by the short woman who shoved a croissant in your mouth and pushed you out of the dorm, not waiting to hear your mumble of gratitude from behind the piece of bread and butter.

Honestly, it hadn't processed how much Pieck for you beforehand until you made it to class and realized she'd packed your school laptop, a notebook and pencil in your bag as you made it to a random seat in Erwin's class just before he closed the door. You sent a prayer to the goddess known as Pieck Finger and immediately began immersing yourself into whatever came out of your professors mouth.

A small noise from behind you caused you to turn around and notice Hange sitting directly behind you with a wide smile. They waved excitedly at you but put their pen up to their lips as a way to tell you to be quiet. You smiled at them and turned back to focus to the lesson, making sure to write down anything that seemed slightly important. It was only after class that you felt you could finally breathe.

"Hey again!" Exclaimed a voice beside you, you looked over and smiled over at Hange.

"Hey Hange, what's up?"

"Nothing much, I woke up super early today and even got in a early jog before class."

"Pfft, cant relate. I woke up so later today by the time I even gained consciousness Pieck had already packed my bags, thrown a random outfit at me, put a croissant in my mouth and threw me out the door" you explained, Hange laughed and nodded.

"Yep, sounds like Pieck. She's just naturally like that, although I'm surprised she didn't wake you up earlier rather than just shoving you out the door." Hange observed, you shrugged.

"Oh well, at least I made it on time. I'm pretty sure Erwin was about two seconds from shoving the door in my face." The two of you laughed at the joke till you finally made it to a cross way.

"I gotta go but I'll see you later, okay?" Hange patted your shoulder and you nodded at their words, agreeing to meet up with them sometime after your classes.

Picking a random seat, you slumped down in your chair and began pulling out your laptop as the teacher started to set their things up as well. The warm hand in your cheek nearly lulled you into a slumber as the class dragged on for a while. After the 4th period, you could finally rest your head on your arms and lean against the desk as your teacher just rambled on about their life story, effectively dragging out the period even longer.

Finally, you lifted your head and rubbed the back of your neck as you made your way back to your dorm room. A mistake on your part to lay your head on a hard desk and ruin your posture even more, straining your neck in order to find a comfortable position. This tiredness didn't seem to pick up on the 'Do Not Disturb' sign at the handle of your door as you pushed your way into the room. Mistake.

The two bodies occupying the bed on the right jumped apart at the sound of the door opening but didn't turn around to face you.

"Can't you read?!" Shouted a familiar voice, your eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room and noticed Pieck laying under a mess of short blonde hair, her eyes not meeting yours until you spoke up.

"Oh shit...I- sorry" you stuttered out in a moment of shock, and only then did Pieck's brown eyes met yours. They widened significantly and pushed the blonde body off of them, revealing the same face you had been staring and blushing at the night before.

"Wait—!"

Now that was when you well and truly slammed the door shut and stepped back, not waiting to hear Pieck's response before immediately doing a 180 and started walking down the hallway. The squeak of a door behind you and the rush of steps trying to catch up to you was all you needed to hear to know that Pieck had run out after you.

She grabbed your arm and spinner you around, "Oh my god, I am so sorry! I forgot to tell you about the sign and—" she sputtered out

"Pieck it's fine! I'm not your mom, I can't stop you from having sex." your eyes lifted away from Pieck's, taking notice of Yelena who stood outside your dorm room door watching the interaction with the same blank expression she always wore. "But a warning would be very much appreciated next time." She sighed and pulled you into her arms.

"Of course, of course. I'm so sorry, it completely slipped my mind today." Pieck apologized profusely, while you wanted to be even a bit mad, you couldn't help but wrap your arms around her as well yet let your eyes fall back onto Yelena.

It was only now that you felt awful about last night, the moment you and Yelena shared made you feel like you had gone behind Pieck's back and made out with her girlfriend or something. You pulled away from the hug and adjusted the straps of your bag on your shoulders.

"Um you guys can...continue, I'm just gonna go." You said, motioning away awkwardly trying to hint at your new escape.

"No no no you don't have to, we could just find somewhere else to go, I don't wanna kick you out of your own room." Pieck insisted, regret flashing in her eyes at your words.

Subconsciously, your eyes went back to Yelena again. "No it's fine, I'm meeting up with Hange in the library anyway. You two...do what you do. I'll bring you back something to eat." You dismissed Pieck's suggestion, waving her off and turning around to make your way to the library, not turning your back once to see not only one but two eyes burning into the back of your skull.

Mistakes were all you seemed to be making today.

#yelena aot #yelena #attack on titan #zeke yeager #levi ackerman #eren yeager #pieck x y/n #pieck finger

[adragonhoardingstories]

Of Blood and Bonds - Chapter 5

"Father you know I respect you." Damian said and everyone at the dining table stilled as they were about to get up and leave. "But I must admit, as my brothers would say, you've majorly fucked up." 

Bruce sighed. He had thought about that - had Alfred scold him for having benched Damian - for doing as Damian had said and taking out his anger about his own failures on his other children. But that didn't make this any easier.

"Damian I know you're mad I didn't tell you about your sister-"

"Oh this is not about that. Well not entirely. They are connected but this is not about Marinette alone." When no one spoke, he took it as his cue to continue. 

"You saw in her files that there were some vague details about her being possessed by an akuma. Did you figure out what they are? Because I have an its not pretty. Actually, it's bad enough to warrant an intervention of the Justice League as a whole but my sister tells me that they were told not to waste the JL's time." 

His youngest's face was worryingly blank. It reminded him of all the times he was set upon something and right now it seemed that his new focus was his older sister. Bruce supposed, he should be thankful that Damian's attention towards her was not of the murderous kind. 

"What do you mean?" He made sure to keep his voice free from emotions. 

"From what she told me, they asked for help several times until someone from the JL dismissed their problems as a prank, a joke without any investigation or anything about their claims."

Someone was going to be hearing from Batman soon. 

"And what about the akumas?" 

"It's enough to need more than one member of the JL. I've see a video of one of the attacks, it's...horrifying and according to Marinette it was one of the tamer ones." 

"Do you have them?" His sons all looked annoyed and he knew they were probably thinking that he was letting superhero work take precedence over his family again. But that was how he worked. He didn't know what to do about the situation with Marinette but this - this could find a solution to. 

"There are videos of them online." 

Damian seemed to take that as his cue to get up and walk away. 

"I'll play the videos in the cave." 

~

Marinette hadn't necessarily had the best time in the last years but one thing he had definitely learned was who were her real friends and who weren't.

It was before the worst month of her life but things had already started taking a turn for the worse for her at that point. 

Her so called friends all started to believe Lila over her, started to - as she now knew - emotionally blackmail her, only gave her the time of the day whenever she did something for them or to scold her for whatever she apparently did for poor Lila. 

She was oh so tired and every second she wasted made her feel more guilty. 

Hawkmoth had come back more enraged than ever after the Miracle Queen incident and she had done the mistake of lending the more Miraculous out.

She had given Kagami and Luka both different Miraculous for them to fight alongside her because they both have strong spirits and a good resonance with several kwamis but... let's just say that she would never forgive herself for what they had to experience because of her.

In desperation, she tried to find other holders that she hadn't used before who resonated but that...that had been a huge mistake. She almost lost more than one Miraculous that day. 

She was their Guardian. And that day she vowed that she would die first before letting something happen to the Kwamis.

She was fighting alone now. Chat Noir...Chat Noir was even more pushy about revealing themselves after the the chaos that had occured. He hindered more than he helped, never showing up on time. 

Things had come to head one day as she walked into class. The whole incident had involved a bunch of sheep and a ripped sketchbook - hers to be precise. 

It proved to actually be a relief to let go if them. She had never realized how much their 'friendship' had been dragging her down. 

I got permission to use this fic as a reference for her backstory so check it out. Thanks for that btw.

That experience proved to be helpful later when she felt like there was no one she could trust. 

Apprenticeship with Master Fu had since long taught her that it was better to feel than to see. She had learnt to recognise auras rather than faces and in the end that might have been her saving grace - or well at least the start of her path back to sanity. 

She had learnt to see and remember the auras of her friends rather than anything else because afterall the soul didn't lie.

After everything, well her reliance on auras had only increased. 

Meeting her brothers had been amazing and even more so now that it seemed that they wanted to have a relationship with her.

But one things that bothered her were their auras. 

It wasn't that they were bad - it was that they were scarred, hardened and she could basically see that they had suffered in the past. 

The worst of them were probably Jason and Damian. Their auras made it very clear that they had been dipped in the Lazarus pits.

Jason...Jason's soul had been corrupted at such a point that she doubted that the pits had been used for anything less than bringing him back from the dead. 

And Damian - Damian's soul seemed to have some of the pits as a foundation. She gathered that he had been dunked into the pools more than once when he was a child. There was something else in his aura too that showed that he had died not long ago too. 

There was also another aura that seemed to have to have linked with both of them which made her sure of their last fates and Marinette shuddered to think what had happened to them. 

She had to remind herself that the past was in the past and while she couldn't change that, she could at least help them have a better future. 

So, one could say, that she was nervous for this upcoming dinner.

~

The dinner didn't go as expected - at all. 

Firstly, they were late. All of her brothers and sister were late, very very late. Marinette was not impressed, especially give that Damian wasn't answering his phone. 

But this was Gotham, the few kwamis she had brought with her reasoned, there was probably a problem and wasn't it better that were safe inside than stuck outside and hurt? 

Just as she was about to say screw it and transform using the fox Miraculous to see if she could help the bats, she felt the magic around the house shift. 

Marinette focused in the disturbance and closed her eyes reaching out for their auras. She soon snapped her eyes open and let a smile come on her face - she knew those auras. But why were they entering from the window? 

Marinette shrugged it off and signalled the kwamis to hide while she went to greet them. 

She was not ready for the sight that she came upon. Her siblings were all in a state of disarray and it looked like they were trying to be silent. 

They were of course failing miserably given what seemed to be a bullet wound in Jason and a stab would in Dick and the rest of them all seemed to have been beat up to at least some degree.

"What the fuck?" Marinette felt like the situation called for her language to be excused. 

They all froze in place before slowly turning to look at her. 

"Uh hey." Dick or should she say Nightwing because apparently she wasn't stressed enough gave her a short wave.

She cursed and buried her face in her hands. "Of course I can't have normal siblings."

"Siblings?" Black Bat seemed suprised. She couldn't recognize her aura, Marinette decided that she must have been Cassandra. 

"You must be confused ma'am." Red Robin jumped in and Marinette rolled her eyes. "I'm not stupid Timothy." And then just to prove her point she point at each one of them in turn. "Jason, Dick, Damian and who I'm guessing is Cassandra."

"What makes you say that?" Tim seemed to be ever the player of words. 

She sighed, knowing they wouldn't budge until she proved that she truely believed her words. 

"Well, why else would you be here?"

"Uh because it was the nearest place we found to nurse our wounds and last time we checked this place was abandoned?"

"Let's say that's true. Wouldn't it make more sense for you to go a place where you could actually have access to supplies to treat your wounds? Not to mention the fact that that-" she pointed at the hole in Jason's shoulder. "-is a bullet wound and I heard no gunshot. And lastly, what a coincidence it is that Black Bat who is known to work in Hong Kong comes back to Gotham at the same time as my sister Cassandra who from what I've heard also is currently living in Hong Kong too." 

No one replied. 

"So do you want to continue arguing or are you idiots going to let me help you before you bleed all over my floor."

Unsurprisingly it was Damian who moved the first - it made sense, he was the one who had spent most time with her and at least had a modicum of trust in her. 

He removed his mask and met her eyes. "Do you have a first-aid kit?"

She nodded. "Get in the bathroom and get those two in the tub." She nodded towards Dick and Jason. I'll bring it to you." 

Marinette hurried to her bed room to find her probably over-packed first aid kit. She had brought it for herself so that in case of a bad akuma attack she could take care of her wounds - after all her cure took care of everyone else before her, she had enough scars to prove that not that she could distinguish them from those the cat had given her.

She was glad to see that they had followed her instructions. Jason and Dick were seated in her honestly huge tub and they along with the rest had made themselves comfortable, having discarded their armor. 

She placed the first-aid kit down and kneeled next to Dick. She felt that the stove would in the stomach took more precedence. 

Jason reached out for the kit but Marinette batted his hand away. 

"You're injured, sit down quietly." She snapped and to everyone's surprise, he did as he was told. 

Marinette started treating their wounds, thanking the kwamis that she had done a medical course as soon as she had realised that her wounds could not heal from the cure. 

She had finally taken care of the more dangerous wounds and Marinette had enough of them squirming so she broke the silence "So, why in the world did you come here instead of going to your hyper-tech batcave with most certainly more medical facilities than my humble abode?"

She had to supress a smile as the boys looked among themselves. Finally it was Cassandra that replied. 

"Did not want to miss dinner. You." 

"Well you were already two hours late, you could just have sent me a text that you'd be a little more late."

"Didn't want to take chance."

Marinette smiled up at her. "Well I'm done, come on, I'll get you some clothes to change into."

"I don't think you'll have anything that will fit us."

"I'm a designer." She called over her shoulder. "I always have spares. Anyways, Cassandra-" 

"Cass."

"Right, well Cass come with me, we're about the same size, you can take something of mine."

She led Cass to her bedroom and guided her to her wardrobe while she picked something for the boys.

She totally hadn't hoped to see her siblings during this trip and had this made something for them. Nope. Absolutely not.

She handed each of them their clothes. "Choose a room if you want, I have more than enough of them, then come down, I'm re-heating the food."

She smiled at Damian as he came down the stairs. "I tried my hand at some Arabic food. I hope you like it." 

The boy looked awed. He walked to her and gave her a hug. "You're my new favourite sibling." Marinette laughed and pressed a kiss in his hair. "I love you too little brother."

She heard the disbelieving whisper of Demon Spawn? And looked up to see the rest. 

She squeezed Damian's shoulder one last time before she pulled away, guiding him to sit down.

"Well dig in. You must be famished after your fight."

They did exactly that and soon were making their appreciation known. 

"It's the first time I've attempted Arabic food, I don't know if I got the spices right.*

"It's delicious Pixie Pop. Don't worry.*

"Todd's right Mari. I haven't eaten anything this good since I came to Gotham."

"Really? Alfred didn't immediately dote on you and cook you all the food you wanted. "

He looked uncomfortable. "I was a difficult child back then."

"Was?" Jason snorted while Dick elbowed him. 

Casssandra intervened. "You good at cleaning wounds. Hands stable."

"Yes well unfortunately it's not the first time I've had to do this."

"How come?" 

"Did Damian tell you about the akuma attacks?" They nodded. "Well, Paris had since adapted to handle the akuma attacks. A lot of people have taken medical courses for extensive first aid to be able to help the unfortunate victims of an akuma."

"I thought that your superhero reversed all the damage."

"Well yeah. But Ladybug was insistent to make it clear that they couldn't bank everything on her. If she's taken down, everything's lost."

"This has been going for how many years. How do you still trust that hero?"

"And for how many years have the Joker been spreading his terror?" She asked drily and saw several of them recoil - Jason and Tim especially. 

"Ladybug is doing all that she can only get so far with Chat Noir around."

"Chat Noir? I thought that he was her partner?"

"He's supposed to be but we'll these days he causes more trouble than he stops. People hope he doesn't show up because the battles are always over quicker when he's not there." She could see that they wanted to ask more but number one she didn't want to talk about Chat Noir and number two she felt like if she continued talking, she would slip up and say something she shouldn't know and the risk of them catching it was greater since they were themselves heroes.

"And anyways, Hawkmoth only comes out in a blue moon and that's only when he has a lot of faith in his plans."

"So there are a lot of these akuma attacks?" 

"I guess it's kind of become a daily event by this point. People plan stuff taking it into consideration and if we're unlucky, there will be more than one in a day."

"So what type of akumas are there?"

"It depends really over what you've been akumatized. We've had a Pharaon, a Mime, Mr Pigeon and Mr Rat as well as Syren in the first year." 

"Those seem like... interesting characters." Jason said. 

"Wait until you hear this." Marinette snorted. "We had a Batman knock-off once, Owlman - he had his own electronic butler and everything."

The bats shared a look before they all bursted out laughing at once. 

How could they not, imagining Bruce's face upon learning of this?

"You need to tell us this story."

Marinette was more than eager to comply. 

~

It's too long so I'm gonna reblog the rest

#MLB X DC #torture #mentions of rape #lila salt #adrien salt #maribat #platonic daminette

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 17

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: Some truths come out... and some don't.

A/N:  Did you really think I'd leave you hanging for too long? Now it's finally time to find out what happens when Calypso and Percy meet. I'm a bit worried some characters may sound a bit OOC here but writing conflict has never been my piece of cake so I was a bit out of my comfort zone here. But I tried! Without a further ado, I hope you guys enjoy! And let me know what you think!

Characters in this ch: Calypso, Leo, Piper, Jason, Annabeth, Percy

Words: 1899

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / next chapter / AO3

…

“Hold on, what’s going on here?” Leo asked, finally letting go of Calypso and throwing the last piece of the cupcake in his mouth. “You two know each other?”

“Well…” Calypso started but couldn’t find the right words to explain the situation.

“Yeah, you could say that,” Percy admitted when it became obvious that she wouldn’t be able to answer. “We used to chat online.”

Leo’s eyebrows shot up. “Chat… online? As in…?” 

“On Tinder, yeah. But that was a long time ago.” Percy glanced at his girlfriend varily. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

Calypso wasn’t happy about Percy’s choice of words. To her, it had been a rather big deal, because the internet had been the only way she had been able to stay in contact with the outside world and she did care about the bonds she formed there. And Percy had seemed different from most of the people she had met online. Had. Until she had discovered she was wrong, after all.

“If it wasn’t a big deal,” Annabeth frowned. “Then why do you look so nervous and why did Calypso just go bright red? I may not be quite as good at reading people as Piper is but usually that isn’t a good sign.”

“Annabeth…” Calypso answered instead of Percy. “You are my friend and I’m not going to lie to you. I did have a crush on him, but that was two years ago and we cut things off entirely when Percy told me he wanted to start dating someone else.”

“Wait… you were the girl he was seeing before me? I… how…?” Annabeth asked, her eyes wide as owl’s.

“You were still seeing Luke,” Percy said carefully. “I liked you, Annabeth, but in all honesty, I didn’t think you’d break up with him. So, I met Calypso online and she seemed nice, but…”

“But I was always just a second choice to you,” Calypso said a bit bitterly.

“Hey, I never meant any of it to happen! I didn’t want to hurt you,” Percy tried to defend himself.

“...But it just happened,” Calypso finished for him, her voice poisonous.

Annabeth ignored their arguing.

“I remember…” she addressed Percy, “before I told you about Luke and my break up, you ranted about this girl who was so pretty and sweet and lonely and you hoped to meet her because she was living in the same city. You never told me her name, though, or what happened to her. Eventually, I just kind of… forgot. And now I find out that girl is my friend. This is just so weird…”

“A small world, huh?” Percy tried to lighten the mood, failing at it.

“It’s not funny, Jackson.” Annabeth scowled at him. “So… did you guys ever meet face to face?”

“Just once,” Calypso hurried to answer. “And at the end of it? Percy told me that he only liked me as a friend.” Two years worth of in kept emotions decided to pop on the surface in that moment, and Calypso directed the frustration at Percy. “By the way, Percy, I appreciate your honesty but you really could have told me that before I arranged the whole thing. You knew the circumstances.”

Leo had listened to the whole conversation with his mouth open, his head going back and forth between the arguers, but now he felt he had completely fallen out of it, so he asked: “Woah, you guys! Calm down a bit! What circumstances?”

“It’s nothing,” Calypso said quickly.

“It’s not nothing!” Percy exclaimed but seeing Calypso’s warning glare, he quickly shut up.

Annabeth casted Percy a disbelieving look. “Wait, she talked about whatever was going on with her to you? We’ve been friends for several months now and she still hasn’t told me what happened at the mall that one time…”

“Annabeth, I couldn’t…” Calypso wanted to explain but she knew that whatever she’d say probably wouldn’t help the situation. 

“Calypso, friends don’t have secrets. I’ve been trying to be patient, but I’m getting tired of this. Just tell me one thing. Based on what you just told me, you would have been ready for a relationship with Percy. Do you still like him?”

Calypso wanted to say a very unhesitant no, that that raft had sailed away a long time ago, and she might be seeing a new one on the horizon... But she realized she couldn’t say that in front of Leo because she hadn’t fully admitted that to herself yet, much less to anyone else. Besides that, she was also feeling rather intimidated by the situation, so the words escaped her. “I… uh… no.”

“That sounded pretty hesitant,” Annabeth pointed out. She looked like she wanted to say more, but thankfully, Piper decided to intervene in that moment.

“Alright, guys. To me it sounds like some of you are overreacting. So, Cal and Percy used to chat online before Percy and Annabeth started dating. To which they had every right. Calypso had a crush on Percy, which I suppose isn’t that weird even though I myself am not seeing the charm.” She gave her own boyfriend a quick smile. “They met once face to face and on that date Percy told Calypso he liked someone else instead. Doesn’t sound like the smartest idea but I guess Percy preferred telling that way instead of over a message. Right, Percy?”

“R-right,” he stammered, probably worried about how the girls would react.

“Then Calypso mentioned something about ‘circumstances’ but sounds like it’s something very personal so it’s up to her if she wants to tell us more about that. For now I’d suggest that we’d leave that topic alone.”

“Thanks, Piper,” Calypso said gratefully. “This is probably not the best moment to talk about it.”

“Fair enough,” Piper said, looking at the others challengingly, then at her watch. “Maybe it’s time for us all to go home. It’s getting kind of late.”

Agreeing mumbling could be heard from the room. When Piper put her leader mode on, no one really dared to resist her. Calypso thought briefly that she’d be an excellent boss for some company one day.

Percy and Annabeth didn’t say much when they left, perhaps their silence speaking more volumes than words could have. As the door closed, Piper sighed.

“I’m sorry this went this way. I promise I had a good time…”

“Until I messed everything up.” Calypso said quietly.

“What?” Piper asked. “I wasn’t gonna say that!”

“Yes but it’s the truth. I complicate everything. I can’t believe the first person I made friends with here… was, um, somehow connected to my past.”

“She must feel just as weird as you do,” Piper reminded. “I think it might be good for you to take a time off and ask yourself if you should let something that happened several years ago affect your friendship. You didn’t do anything wrong; Annabeth just needs to cool down a bit to be able to accept that. And when she’s ready, explain to her what really happened.”

“My girlfriend, the boss lady,” Jason, who had followed the situation quietly, said acceptingly. “You handled this situation awesomely.”

“Pfft, Grace, you just say that because I sleep with you.” Piper chuckled.

“He is not wrong, though,” Calypso was quick to add. “I think you did exactly what needed to be done. And just gave me some good advice. So thank you, again.”

“No problem. And hey, if anything comes up… you can definitely contact me. Annabeth may have been my friend longer, but you’re my friend too.”

“Yeah, thanks, I will,” Calypso said, managing a small smile.

After that Jason and Piper said their goodbyes and left Leo and Calypso alone in their flat.

“That was… pretty intense,” Leo finally broke the silence when it was about to get awkward. For some reason, he seemed disappointed about something even though Calypso couldn’t decide what. That she had ruined the evening? Or could it be… that he was upset to find out that she used to have a crush on his friend? No, that couldn’t have been it, Calypso thought, because what reason had she ever given Leo to like her? When she thought about it, she had mainly been sarcastic and kind of cold in his company, probably not something most people cared about.

“Yeah…” Calypso didn’t know what else to say. She wanted to explain, to say that she really didn’t feel much of anything towards Percy anymore, but what would that help? She’d probably only make things even more awkward than they already were. Especially if she was wrong and Leo was disappointed for example because she might have caused friction between his friends. “Listen, I didn’t mean to…”

“Whatever,” Leo stopped her, sounding a bit sharper than what Calypso was used to hearing. “I guess it’s none of my business anyway.”

Calypso understood the implications in Leo’s comment. One of the reasons why he was mad was because she wasn’t telling him the whole truth. But she could not get him mixed in the life she was trying to escape from…

The whole situation made Calypso frustrated and she took it out in a way she later regretted: “Why are you acting like that? What happened with Percy has nothing to do with you!”

“Well, it becomes my issue too if it affects my friends! Besides, I… I care about you… because you’re my flatmate, of course! And if my friend hurt you…”

Calypso was totally taken aback by Leo’s answer. She hadn’t even considered that he might actually be worried about her. Her face softened as she replied: “What happened back then… it doesn’t matter anymore. He and I were never exclusive. So really, it was my fault in the first place thinking that we could have a future. Not with… everything happening anyway.”

“There, that’s the other problem,” Leo said in a low voice. “You never tell me… Calypso, even though I may seem like it sometimes, I’m not stupid. You’re not telling us something that’s obviously very important to you. And hearing that Percy knows… well, it does feel weird.”

“Leo, think about your worst memory,” Calypso said, her eyes looking even darker than usual. “And tell me if you’d be willing to tell it to me, right here, right now. If the answer is no… well, then you might understand what I feel.”

“I…” Leo started, but then hesitated, his expression turning dark. “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it. I just want to…”

“Forget.” Calypso finished for him. “Guess you might understand, after all.”

“Yeah, maybe… I hope that we can be honest with each other, one day, though.”

“I hope so, too,” Calypso agreed.

“Listen, I’m gonna call it a night,” Leo finally broke the silence that had fallen into the room, combing his hair with his fingers. “Got lots to do tomorrow. So, see ya.”

“Night,” Calypso said after him. She was sad that the affection that had been there the other night as they had said good night to each other seemed almost non-existent right now. Maybe the bubble around them had broken when they voiced their issues out loud. But Calypso wasn’t someone who gave up that easily. She wouldn’t let the ghosts of the past stop her from living her life anymore.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

[agustdomain]

Now You’re One Of Us {FINAL}

Synopsis: When tensions are high and problems unsolved, friendships are on the line. When those issues are brought to the surface, are connections severed beyond repair? Or is it possible to find it in yourself to stay behind, fix what’s been broken, and find the light on the other side? Now you’re one of us, a blessing and a burden.  

Word Count: 18.8k words 

Genre: Angst, sliceoflifeau!, broken friendships, hidden relationship

Warnings: Language, Fighting (verbal, not physical)

Member(s): Hoseok, ft. maknae line, Ryujin & Chaeyeon. Mentions of other characters.

Author’s Note: This is the final part, folks. Thank you to those who have shared their thoughts and love for the work. It really means the world to me that you decided on reading it. Means more than I can convey. Reminder: if you’re looking for the romance to be the main focus, this work isn’t for you. If you don’t care, then enjoy the ride. Thank you again, everyone. Can’t express the love I have for what I do and for my writing.

Inspirations: There were many songs that inspired me while writing. If I had to pick two, it’s We Are Young, Fun ft. Janelle Monae and Dreams Tonite, Alvvays.

Here’s PART ONE if you haven’t read it. Without further ado...

One by one, everyone trickled back in the living room. Y/N’s heart sighed when she caught sight of Hoseok walk back in, Taehyung in tow. Her love’s face was serious, maybe a little tired, but his eyes were determined as he gave her a slight nod. As always, he knew what to say to comfort someone. Magic.

No, not magic. It was strictly him. Magic minimized the strength and power of Hoseok’s influence.

Taehyung was quiet when he rejoined the group. If he had cried, it couldn’t be seen by the eye. Y/N recalled once in the past when he had gotten upset, he had said he didn’t like crying in front of his loved ones. He said it hurt him to hurt the people he loved. 

Ryujin was just as stormy, but little by little she was beginning to talk again. Jungkook would make snide comments here and there but after Jimin gave him a slug in the arm, he mostly stopped. 

What was magic was how the situation seemed to diffuse itself on its own. With the slight time that had passed, the vibe was transformed into a semblance of normalcy. And it did a good job at fooling Y/N into security.

When Chaeyeon suggested playing a game, there wasn’t any refusal this time around- only some reluctant agreements. After a slight discussion, they all settled on charades. Y/N beamed when Taehyung leaned over to her and muttered, “Never fails. We’re geniuses. It’s the closest game to Hedbanz.” With those words, she knew he was returning to his earlier state.

The game started smoothly. It was a lot of uncontrolled laughter from Jimin, Jungkook 

acing every round. Ryujin would rage because most of the time, her guesses were off. Hoseok looked lost and it was the first time Chaeyeon had smiled that big in a long time. Y/N felt content seeing all of her friends enjoying themselves.

“Uh… let’s see… Oh! You’re sweeping!”

Hoseok’s eyes got wide but he shook his head rapidly. He held up a finger to signal Ryujin to wait before he redid his action. Twisting his body to face one direction he dramatically feigned crying. Then he proceeded to face the opposite way and smiled widely, feigning laughter. He ended it off with aggressive motioning toward his face.

“Okay, I don’t know what this one is but that was one creepy ass smile,” Jungkook commented. Jimin broke out into laughter, of course. 

“Uh, actor?” Taehyung guessed and Hoseok pointed at him excitedly, jumping once before motioning him to guess more. 

“Robert Downey Jr.! Uh, Iron Man! Crocodile!” Ryujin hollered.

“Bruh, she’s so dumb,” Jungkook rolled his eyes. It seemed he still wasn’t happy with her from earlier. 

Taehyung silenced him, saying, “Cool it, Guk.”

Y/N’s attention was drawn to Hoseok, her heart warming and her smile growing fond at the sight of his animated movements. Currently, he was trying to get Ryujin and Chaeyeon to stem their answers from Tae’s previous guess. It only further confused them, now thinking the answer had something to do with him.

“Best friend?” Ryujin asked.

Hoseok’s face fell, shaking his head.

“Model!” Chaeyeon called, and Taehyung pretended not to hear. But if his shifting eyes were anything to go by, he was flustered by her words. 

Hoseok sighed, pretending to look at his imaginary wristwatch. Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. As if he somehow sensed her watching, his eyes flickered to hers. They brightened upon meeting her gaze, his expression showcasing his fondness. He held back a smile as much as he could, only one side of his mouth pulling up and making her heart stir with attraction. She wished she could kiss him right then and there. 

Looking at her dead in the eye, he did the motion of putting a mask on his face. It must’ve been their connection, because otherwise she didn’t think it would’ve clicked.  

“Comedy and Tragedy masks!”

“Yes!” Hoseok cheered, Y/N jumping up to her feet in surprise. Without much thought, he clambered over to her and wrapped her up in his arms, tugging her close. As if they both realized at the same time, they quickly let go of each other, a strained smile appearing on his lips. It seemed no one thought of the exchange as odd, Ryujin muttering her confusion about the game while Jungkook complained to Taehyung that he had no clue what Hoseok had been acting out. 

Just then, Y/N’s attention was drawn to Jimin’s phone. It was buzzing rapidly on the living room chest, and from her stance she could see the caller ID. Miyeon. 

Her eyes snapped upward to where Jimin sat in front of the table, all traces of laughter and amusement gone from his face. His gaze was trapped on the phone screen, and she didn’t know if she was imagining how his tiredness was more prominent than ever in the crevices of his face. 

No one else noticed, everyone wrapped up in their banter and Ryujin preparing for the next topic. But Y/N did. And she was frozen at the sight of her unhappy best friend. 

She watched as he stumbled to his feet, his stature unsteady. After straightening himself out, he reached down for his phone and turned to walk off toward his room, likely dialing her back. Something told her to stay close by, so she moved to follow him. 

“Hey. You good?” Hoseok’s hand found her shoulder, gently turning her to face him.

She nodded, distracted. “It’s…” She lowered her voice. “It’s Jimin. I’m going to check on him.”

Hoseok placed both of his hands on her shoulders, his eyes searching hers. After having found what he must’ve been looking for, he nodded. “Okay.”

It could’ve been an hour, the length it took to get to his room. As soon as she walked in, time slowed down, trapping them in the confines of his empty bedroom. 

“No, you listen to me! For fuck’s sake!” His voice was dripping with frustration, his hair sticking up in random directions from what she assumed was his tugging. She stayed back, hovering just outside of the doorway. There was a small lamp plugged in the corner of his room on the floor, a bare mattress the only other item occupying the room. Everything else must’ve been with the woman he was currently arguing with on the phone.

He was facing away from Y/N, his head bowed and his body rigid. She had never seen him like this. 

“Oh, so you can swear at me but once I show any signs of stress, I’m the bad boyfriend? Spare me, Miyeon.” He twisted on his feet, beginning to pace. Regardless of his slight movements, all of his stress was defining everything else on him. His reddened face and hard eyes, his clenched fist that only unravelled to pull at his hair. It seemed he was doing everything he could to stop himself from exploding.

“No-” His eyes fluttered closed. She likely had interrupted him. “You know what? No. I’m so sick of you trying to control what I do or what I say. Have you ever even looked at yourself? Ever thought that oh, maybe I’m to blame? Look at how you’re talking to me. And you always do!”

His face filled with disbelief, scoffing at whatever she said. Y/N suddenly felt really bad that she was listening in on something so personal, but all night he had been worrying her. This only furthered her worries, for she had never seen Jimin this upset at someone. Instead of pretending she wasn’t there, she stepped into view. His eyes snapped to her, his mouth pursing as he turned away. 

“Okay, well, have fun hating me. I gotta go,” He snapped, likely cutting off her rambles on the other end. Listening for her response, his voice came out final. If Y/N had been on the receiving end of his biting tone, it would have stung. “Excuse me while I spend time with the people who actually give a damn.”

He didn’t look at her after hanging up. She watched as he hung up before slipping it in his pocket and keeping his eyes trained anywhere but her. Y/N really looked at him and how different he seemed. Perhaps he had been like this all along, she just never dove deeper. Blinking rapidly, she cleared the tears that had risen. 

It was the second time she had seen her friend look so small, the first time being after his breakup with Soojin. It stifled her breathing, seeing him hurting. 

“Hey,” her voice was testing the waters as she stepped a bit closer. He didn’t acknowledge her, all of his attention probably on the conversation he just had. She still wasn’t accustomed to the closed off version of him. She couldn’t bear the thought of him reverting back to his old ways. If this were a few months ago, he might have told her what was on his mind. 

Too much time had passed, it seemed.

Just as her hand found a place on his shoulder, he jerked back and caused her to jump with surprise. He looked at her as if he didn’t recognize her, disbelief written in his eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Jimin, I- Are you okay?”

“What kind of a stupid question is that?” He scoffed, before moving past her. “It’s none of your business, anyways.” Before he could reach the door, she grabbed onto his arm. And before she could speak, he spun on her. “No, Y/N! I don’t want to hear your fake ass pity! Since when do you care what I’m going through?”

Looking closer, she noticed how unfocused his eyes really were. They were wild with emotion, yes, but they mixed with inebriation. It was a recipe for something bad. 

“I’ve always cared and I always will. You’re not alone. Let’s just talk, okay? Tell me what’s on your mind.” That usually worked, but not tonight.

He shook his head, wrenching his arm out of her grip. “You don’t get it, and you never will. Not when you’re living a picture perfect life with nothing but joy and no hardships.”

“Excuse me?”

He was looking through her, not at her. “You heard me. Have you ever stopped for one second to consider how I feel? You do nothing but belittle me, try to control me,” It registered for her suddenly, that he wasn’t talking to her anymore. He was talking to someone else. “I do everything for you. Hell, I wanted to live with my best friends but you insisted on me being with you! And all you do is make me feel inconsistent.”

“Jimin…” Y/N’s heart smashed at the sight of his face crumbling, trying so hard to not cry. Instead of staring, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. Hesitantly, he rested his face on her shoulder. It felt like hours but it was mere seconds until he wrapped his own arms around her and held her tight, the slightest quivers escaping from his body. “I’m here. It’s going to be okay.”

He whispered something, too muffled for her to understand. She asked him softly to repeat himself. 

“I… I miss Soojin.”

Pulling away, he looked at her with puffy eyes and flushed cheeks. She didn’t know whether to feel relief at him opening up, or sorrow at the evident pain he was going through and had been experiencing this entire time.

“Is everything okay?” The two of them turned, the slight light from Jimin’s room spilling out and onto Chaeyeon’s presence. She looked concerned but didn’t move from where she was standing.

“I’m fine,” Jimin managed, pulling away from Y/N’s embrace. As he sniffled he ran his fingers through his hair before maneuvering around Y/N and turning away. “I’ll meet you guys in a second.”

Y/N so badly wanted to stay, to comfort him and be there for him. Just like earlier, he had graced her with a moment of opening up. It was all she was going to get for now. With one last look, she followed Chaeyeon out of the room.

Everything was much more complex than she ever would have known. And she wouldn’t have if she had chosen not to come.

“This isn’t good,” Chaeyeon said, her voice wavering.

“I know. Jimin is… not good.”

Chaeyeon shook her head, the two of them stopping in the dark hallway feet away from the living room. She lowered her voice. “Not only him. The others… it’s heating up. I don’t know how to stop it.”

“That’s the thing. Can we even stop it? Or is it destined to happen?” Chaeyeon looked at her then, and Y/N wished she had something better to say. The two of them never felt so helpless. 

Just then, they heard Jungkook’s voice thunder, “Screw you!”

The two of them rushed into the living room, noticing the duo from earlier back at each other’s throats. Ryujin was reared on him, her stance aggressive and her face taut with anger. Jungkook was stood on the opposite side of the living room, his back straight and eyes narrowed. They were in the midst of a showdown.

“Guys, let’s calm down,” Hoseok said, standing between them as if they were going to go at it at any moment. The words only seemed to anger Ryujin even further.

“Stay out of it, asshole!” The words boiled Y/N’s blood as she came to a stop near the edge of the living room. “I’m so sick of Jungkook acting so high and mighty all the damn time. Get off your high horse. No one buys your whole tough facade.”

“What fairytale are you spinning now? This isn’t about me, this is about you! And how you treat everyone like shit. We’re your friends and you can’t even go one minute without insulting or belittling us! I can’t imagine what it’s like to even hear something supportive come out of your big ass mouth.”

“Guys,” Taehyung looked exhausted, his eyes dipped in disappointment as he peered up at them from his spot on the sofa. Y/N wished there was something she could say to diffuse the situation. There was nothing any of them could do, because Ryujin wouldn’t back down and she had effectively gotten Jungkook riled up. “Just please stop.”

“Tell his bitch ass to stop whining! No one is bothered but him!”

“There’s no need to insult anyone, Ryu,” Hoseok said, looking frustrated himself. Still, he tried to be the mediator. Usually he was successful, but not with someone like Ryujin. She directed her anger at him next.

“Would you look at that? Dad is trying to break up the fight! Why don’t you just shut the hell up too, Hoseok. I don’t want to hear your dumb ass rambles about peace and friendship.”

She didn’t know if her gunning for Hoseok had been the last straw or Ryujin’s blatant ignorance, but without much thought Y/N snapped, “That’s enough already. Jungkook’s right.”

Everyone’s heads swivelled to her. There was a range of shock and anger, the latter mostly from Ryujin, on their faces. Before she could even consider what she had just launched herself into, Jimin’s voice sounded from behind her.

“Why don’t all of you shut up?”

Ryujin began to slow clap, nodding her head with feigned enthusiasm. “The stone cold asshole has finally decided to join the party.”

Y/N’s heart dropped, already knowing Jimin wasn’t in a good place to be provoked. She looked back at him with worry, her blood ice cold at the sight of his steeled gaze.

“What did you say to me?”

“Come on. You can’t be an asshole and stupid too. Well, I guess you are considering you’re moving in with your biggest mistake.”

“You’re pathetic,” Jungkook’s voice cut in, everyone turning toward him. “You know what’s sad? The reason why you’re attacking all of us is because you’re so insecure about yourself. The reality is, Chae and Y/N are way better than you. At least we actually like having them around. Tae doesn’t need you, not after finding friends that treat him better than you have your entire friendship. We don’t need you. No one needs you.”

Y/N looked at Ryujin then, watched her facade crack as he struck a nerve. How did the night grow poisoned? How had they really brushed off all of the signs?

The real and painful question was, Why hadn’t her predictions proved her wrong?

Ryujin cleared her throat, looking at everyone in the room before striding to the kitchen and snatching her bag. Pausing on the way to the front door, she looked dead in Jungkook’s eye and said, “Fuck you,” before throwing it open and slamming it behind her. 

It left the room suffocated, too quiet. Everyone besides Taehyung was standing, poised and ready for whatever was coming. Jungkook was the first to move, sinking into the nearest loveseat and lying his head back. He didn’t look like he was going to talk anytime soon. 

“Anyone want another beer?” Jimin rasped.

“Haven’t you drank enough, man?” Taehyung asked, his voice lacking strength. 

“Relax, man, I know what I’m doing.” Jimin said calmly before dragging his feet to the kitchen.

Chaeyeon sat down beside Taehyung, her head in her hands as she inhaled loudly. “We can’t go one night. One night without everything going to shit.”

“It takes a group effort. Not just one,” Hoseok said, his voice distracted as he sat on the arm of the remaining loveseat. Y/N was drawn to him, aching for his comfort but unable to receive it with their friends around. So she sat by him with his leg pressed slightly into her shoulder. He must’ve sensed her distress as his hand curled at the arch of her neck. He massaged it slightly before keeping his hand there. 

“Ryujin is-”

“A judgmental asshole. I don’t want anything to do with her anymore,” Jungkook snapped, before returning to his previous position. Taehyung watched him, his lips pursed, bothered by his words. Chaeyeon looked conflicted, before nodding her head in acknowledgment and changing the topic.

“Okay well, Jimin,” Lowering her voice, she glanced over her shoulder before continuing, “Isn’t doing well.”

“Yeah, you don’t think we know that?” Jungkook deadpanned.

“Guk, stop already! That’s enough. You’ve done enough,” Taehyung said, his voice shaky. His words were effective, Jungkook falling back and rigidly turning his head away from everyone. 

Chaeyeon pretended as if she didn’t hear the exchange. “It has to do with… his girlfriend, right? Why else would he be drawing away from us? That’s the only thing that’s changed in his life. And he’s moving in with her now.”

“It’s not the only thing,” Y/N offered up, all of them looking at her with questioning eyes. “Guys… It hasn’t been that long since…”

“Since Soojin,” Taehyung said, nodding in understanding. He and Jungkook exchanged glances, having a silent conversation. Everyone soaked it in, thinking about how Jimin really hadn’t been himself since Soojin broke his heart. There was a time where he was coping and moving forward, but when he started dating Miyeon he took one hundred steps backward. 

“Miyeon does nothing but keeps tabs on him and controls him. Not to mention how possessive and crazy she is every single second of the day. She’s toxic,” Jungkook said, his face permanently set in a glare. 

“And now they’ll be living together,” Chaeyeon said, sounding at a loss.

“You don’t think we tried to convince him otherwise?” Taehyung shook his head. “His mind is set.”

“There’s nothing we can do then, besides be there for him,” Hoseok said with finality.

“Are you guys having fun butting your noses into my business?”

Everyone froze. They were caught in the act.

Y/N’s stomach dropped, suddenly very afraid of what was coming. One look was all it took to envision the road they were about to travel.

One by one, everyone’s gaze trailed to Jimin. He stood at the edge of the living room, swaying on his feet and his expression the face of barely suppressed rage. Jungkook was the first to react, quickly standing and fixating his face into something more gentle. “It’s not like that, J. Come on-”

“And now you’re going to lie to my face?” Jimin’s voice raised, his emotions locked away. Like moments before with Ryujin, round two was unravelling like a badly rolled carpet. 

“We’re just worried about you,” Chaeyeon tried, her voice wavering.

“Back off. All of you. I’m fine.” Jimin was short, dismissive. He wasn’t going to budge. 

Hoseok’s grip loosened before moving to Y/N’s shoulder. He was letting her know once more he’s there. Breathing in deeply, she turned her attention to Jimin. Like he knew it was coming, his eyes met hers. 

She kept her voice collected as she could, given she was staring into the eyes of a man who was seeing through red vision. “You’re lying to us too. We know you’re not fine. And it’s okay to not be. You don’t have to pretend.”

“I’m not pretending!” He outburst, causing Chaeyeon and Tae to flinch. “This is who I am, and if you guys have a problem with it then there’s the door!” He ended by pointing a shaky finger at the front door. 

Jungkook shook his head, conceding by sitting back down. Something told Y/N to keep going, because when was the last time any of them had seen this much emotion from him? Standing up slowly, she approached him.

His eyebrow twitched with aggravation, his stance anything but approachable. She knew him, though, knew he was trying to defend himself and lock away his emotions. She was sorry for not being there for him all these months. She vowed to do better. 

When she stood in front of him, she looked him dead in the eye. Softly, she uttered, “Jimin. It’s okay. You don’t have to tell us what you’re going through. But you don’t have to hide yourself. We’re here for you.”

His facade broke down a little as his eyes shifted to the side, considering her words. Shuffling in place, his hands roughed up his hair again. He wasn’t alone. 

She tried again. “We love you and only want you to know that whatever you’re going through, we got your back. We always will. It’s okay…to feel. You don’t have to pretend.”

At first, it looked like she had broken through. His facial expression opened up for a moment, his eyes sad and his shoulders loosening. It was but a moment, because suddenly he straightened back up as his face twisted back into stone. 

“Me? Pretending? What about you and Hoseok?”

It was a split second reaction. Y/N’s mouth managed a quick response, “Huh?” as her body clamped up. The hair at her neck bristled, like a cat on guard. Eyes were on her, or maybe they weren’t. She didn’t want to turn around to check. All she could do was stare at Jimin, in horror or shock she didn’t know. 

Jimin wasn’t very coherent, that much could be seen. His eyes were glazed, his face scrunched up in irritation. His stance wasn’t very stable. If it weren’t for his words, she would’ve been concerned about him and his appearance. All that rang in her ears, and likely in everyone’s, was his words.

“What does he mean by that?” Chae called from behind her. 

Y/N couldn’t move, couldn’t process what was occurring right before her eyes. Her mind was racing, looking for an escape or any semblance of words that would diffuse the words that hung in the air.

Nothing was coming to her. 

A familiar warmth appeared beside her, a familiar touch. She didn’t want to look at him because he would see her panic, feel it and channel it. It was second nature, however, how her eyes snapped to Hoseok’s. His eyebrows were pulled taut in a frown, his mouth pursed. She could see he was trying to give her courage, but it was hard when the pair of them were thrust into this situation. 

“Jimin, I think that’s enough,” Hoseok decided. 

Wrong choice.

“Oh, so you guys can put my relationship on blast but I can’t put yours?”

“Okay, I’m sorry. What’s going on here?” Chaeyeon asked, her voice growing high and confused. Y/N slowly and torturously looked over her shoulder to her friends behind her. Taehyung looked worried. Chaeyeon was staring at her with almost an incredulous look, her face frustrated. Jungkook’s eyes were trained on the floor.

“I-”

“Why don’t you guys fess up? No, seriously,” Jimin feigned a loud laugh, “This is utterly priceless. Why is it that my own friends can judge me and my own relationship when they can’t even be honest themselves? You’re fakes. To your own damn friends.”

Y/N whirled on him, feeling her own frustration bubble over. Her voice raised, loud and unsuspected. “Stop, Jimin! Why are you doing this?”

“No! Why do I have to stop? None of you have given a shit about me this entire time, this whole group is falling apart, and suddenly you’re worried about me being sad? Please.”

“We are worried about you! Look at you!” Y/N yelled back.

“I’m fine. You guys are the ones who feel the need to hide yourselves from your so-called friends.”

“Look at this shit! This is the exact reason why we didn’t tell you guys in the first place!”

“Oh, yeah, that’s why. How about the lack of trust? You know what?” Jimin moved toward Y/N in his anger, Hoseok’s instincts taking over as he stepped in front of her. Hurt flashed in Jimin’s eyes, shaking his head as he retreated. “All of you are just as sad as I am. Here’s a thought, instead of faking you’re happy and that you actually like your friends, why don’t any of you own up to your shit? Like Hoseok and Y/N. Or you, Chae. You hid your relationship too. What about Jungkook-”

From Y/N’s other side, Jungkook appeared, his face stern. 

“Jimin, cut it out. You’re acting like an idiot.”

“Surprise, surprise! Any chance of you confessing how you feel, you’re quick to shut anyone up!”

“I’m not avoiding anything, you’re just being a real dick right now. Before you say anything else you’ll regret in the morning, I really think you should go lie down.” Maybe it was Jungkook’s intimidating stature, everyone on guard or Jimin’s own desire to escape the situation, but with one last scoff Jimin stalked off to his room. The slam of his door caused Y/N to jump, her feet glued to the floor and facing away from her friends. 

Her gaze slowly found Hoseok’s, his eyes closed as if the reality was too gory to look at in the face. His grip tightened on her shoulder and  her body drew slightly closer to his chest. 

“Can someone explain what his little tantrum was about?” Chaeyeon said, her voice the definition of stress. The couple twisted to see her roughly rubbing at her forehead with the palm of her hand. 

“I think it’s pretty obvious, Chae. You’re a smart girl,” Jungkook snapped.

“You guys… are together?” Taehyung asked, the mic dropping as silence ensued. His eyes were shrouded in confusion, disbelief and something akin to hurt. 

Hoseok inhaled a deep breath, the movement of his chest giving Y/N the courage he possessed. There was a pause, a defining moment suspended in time that was before everything changed. With a slight nod, the moment shattered.

“We didn’t want you to find out from anyone else, but… yes. We’re together. We planned to tell everyone at the same time.” 

“So…. why does Jimin know before us?”

Hoseok looked at Y/N then but she only shook her head. Turning back to Taehyung he responded, “We don’t know.”

“I don’t understand. Did you guys think we’d be mad? Frankly…” Taehyung looked so sad that it pained Y/N to even look at him. “I feel like shit. This whole time, I thought that all of these friendships… they meant something. They do mean something, to me. I even had hoped that everything would get better, that all of our issues weren’t the end of us. I was foolish.”

Y/N stepped toward him then, but he quickly rose to his feet and held up a hand, warranting her from coming closer. He couldn’t look anyone in the eye.

His voice grew quiet, defeated. “I just wanted this night to be special. This is probably our last time together in this apartment, but the way things are going it feels like the last time together in general. None of you care. All this time, I either got excuses or refusals to come over or go out. How can I hold onto something that doesn’t even hold back? First Ryujin. Then Jimin. And now you guys?”

“It’s not like that,” Y/N pleaded, ignoring his hand as she reached out to grab his upper arm. “Tae, we care about you. We cared about tonight. We kept it to ourselves because we didn’t want the group to become even more tense.”

Taehyung shook his head. “Don’t lie to me. This group has been on a path of destruction for a long time.”

“She’s telling the truth, Tae,” Hoseok stepped into the conversation, “Admittedly, we did like the intimacy of it being just us. We knew that once we told everyone, it would be a lot more attention. And… we know how everyone feels about friends dating friends.”

“We’re not mad,” Chaeyeon said, “Well, I’m not. I understand. There’s a reason I haven’t brought up Yves until tonight. Sometimes it’s best to keep those kinds of things private. I just wish you would feel more comfortable with us.”

“We do. We understand we should’ve told you sooner. We’re sorry about that.” Hoseok said with sincerity. 

Taehyung sighed, letting his shoulders relax. Rubbing at his face, he fell back into his seat on the sofa. “Somehow, we broke our record for the worst night.”

“It’s not so bad,” Chaeyeon shrugged, “Only one stormout and one wasted. I’d say the rest of us are levelling the score.”

“What a positive outlook on this train wreck of a night,” Taehyung countered, his whole demeanor down. 

If Y/N had a time machine, she would go back and make the most of the night. Everyone, especially herself, had let him down. 

“Are you okay?” The question was surprisingly directed at Jungkook, who had been quiet the entire time. His eyes widened with surprise at Chaeyeon’s question, before he tilted his head in thought.

“I’m good. I… already knew about them too.” 

“What?” 

“How?”

Y/N and Chaeyeon said at the exact same time.

He looked at the couple with mild amusement. “You guys aren’t the greatest at pretending. I had my suspicions for a long time. Just didn’t have any proof.”

“Wow. I must be the most dense person,” Chaeyeon said to herself.

“You’re not, Chae. It shouldn’t have been a secret. I’m sorry,” Y/N said.

“I’m sorry too,” Hoseok agreed. “And I’m sorry about Jimin. He did the only thing that would take the attention off of him, and that was to turn the spotlight on everyone else.”

“He really isn’t in a good place,” Chaeyeon sighed.

“He’s not in any position to feel better tonight,” Taehyung pointed out. “He just needs to sleep off the alcohol. It’s probably a good idea to call it a night before anything else sours the night even further.”

“Don’t jinx it, man,” Jungkook said, looking at everyone before saying, “Maybe the friendship really is beyond repair.”

“After tonight, is it a bad thing?” Taehyung sighed.

Y/N’s heart cracked, remembering how happy and hopeful Taehyung was at the start of the night. “Tae…”

A firm knock at the front door garnered all of their attention. Everyone was still, their gaze trained on the wood. There was silence for a moment before another round of loud knocking sounded.

“What now?” Taehyung groaned.

Jungkook stood, uttering, “Told you not to jinx it,” before reaching the door and slowly opening it.

Until it was shoved open before he could barely move out the way, Miyeon waltzing in, in the process.

“What do you think you’re-”

“Where’s Jimin?”

Y/N observed her, the young woman who barged into the room. The mood shifted, uncomfortable with someone who they barely even met prior to this moment. Her hair was styled to perfection, not a stray hair in sight. Her head was high, looking down at anyone and everyone in her path. Everything about her screamed arrogance, and it didn’t sit well with the people before her.

“Did I invite you in?” Jungkook said through slightly clenched teeth.

Miyeon scanned the room, ignoring him. “Is he in his room?”

“He’s asleep, Miyeon,” Taehyung said, sounding tired.

She gave him a look before making her way toward the hall, no room for arguing. Jungkook rolled his eyes, remaining poised near the front door. “Real fucking classy.”

“This won’t be good.” The two roommates conversed, seeming familiar with the setup. 

Y/N gazed in the direction of Jimin’s bedroom, worried for what might transpire. 

“Uh, guys,” Everyone looked at Chaeyeon, “Look who’s calling me.” They all collectively stiffened at the sight of Soojin’s name on her caller ID.

“Don’t answer,” Jungkook insisted. 

“What if it’s important?”

“Do you see what we’re going through right now? That can’t be good if she’s calling you. Don’t answer.”

“But-”

“Listen to me!” Jungkook snapped.

Chaeyeon held his gaze for a moment before letting the phone silence. 

The night, if possible, was souring even further. 

And the sound of Jimin yelling launched everyone into the second half. 

“Get out!” 

“No, Jimin! Just talk to me!”

Taehyung and Jungkook moved into action, everyone else in tow. They didn’t have to get far, Jimin rushing out with Miyeon trailing after him. His face was filled with his previous rage, unseeing of his friends around him. Spinning on Miyeon, he shakily pointed a finger at her.

“I’m done with you.”

In contrast to the composed girl from earlier, Miyeon was a mess now. Tears were streaming down her face as she tried grasping at his hand. He wrenched it away, moving away whenever she moved near. 

“Jimin, don’t do this.”

“Why should I listen to you when you don’t even trust me? This is pointless, we’re pointless. I should’ve never even thought of being with you. You’re a waste of my time.”

Miyeon’s face crumpled, and everyone turned away, silent and wishing they were invisible. None of them knew what their fight was about, but it wasn’t their place to even wonder. 

For whatever reason, Y/N felt sad at Miyeon’s tone.

“You don’t trust me either, you know. Because you think I’m like her. The sad thing is, you think I’m her in the worst ways. Not in the one way I should resemble her, in owning your heart. And I don’t trust you… because you still love her.”

“For fuck’s sake, I don’t!”

“You know what?” It was like everyone held their breath, sensing the finality in Miyeon’s voice. “Why do I even try?”

Y/N watched from the corner of her eye as Miyeon shoved past Jimin and raced to the front door. She only had a moment to look at Jimin, how furious he looked. Before she could observe him further, Y/N watched Miyeon pullnthe front door wide open- to reveal none other than Soojin on the other side.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jungkook uttered. 

Jimin turned just as Miyeon looked back with what could only be described as heart-wrenching betrayal. She rushed past the woman in the doorway, Soojin’s eyes following her with confusion.

“Soojin? What are you doing here?” Jimin asked, shocked. He looked at his friends with question before the reality of how it looked dawned on him. “Oh no… Miyeon…” And just like that, he booked it, not giving Soojin a second glance.

“I’m going to go after him. He’s not in any state to be out and about,” Taehyung rushed, racing after him. 

Hoseok looked at Y/N then, his face exhausted. “We should leave. This night isn’t… isn’t what it should’ve been.”

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook addressed the unwelcomed guest, his voice laced with distaste.

“I called Chae and Y/N but none of you picked up.”

“Yeah, no shit. None of us want to talk to you.”

“Jungkook,” Hoseok warned tiredly. 

Jungkook inhaled loudly in acknowledgement before he turned to Soojin once more. “Again, why are you here? You sure do have amazing timing. I guess that’s always been your specialty.”

Soojin remained stoic, still standing outside the door. Likely, she had no intentions of coming inside in the first place. She looked just as they all remembered, for the most part. She was adorned in her pajamas after all, considering she lived down the hall, but this was the same old Soojin from before.

The Soojin they once all called their friend.

“Ryu is passed out on my couch. She ranted about how mad she was at me, then at you guys. And then asked if she could crash because she didn’t think it was smart to drive. I just thought you should know.”

“Shit,” Y/N said, feeling bad at the way things went down with Ryujin. 

How had the night really turned this bad?

“And you couldn’t just shoot any of us a text? No, you just had to show up and make a scene.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Jeon? You always have a stick up your ass.”

Jungkook spluttered, pointing at himself. “Oh, I do? Step down from your throne, princess. You’re really not in any position to be judging anyone after breaking Jimin’s heart.”

Soojin’s face tightened, clearly uncomfortable. Clasping her hands together, she said, “Well, I just wanted to let you guys know. I didn’t want anyone to worry.”

“What a saint,” Jungkook hissed.

“Hey Soo. You good?” An unfamiliar face appeared at Soojin’s side, a tall man who had worry shadowing his eyes. It clicked then, Y/N understanding that this was Hyunwoo, Soojin’s ex- well, her boyfriend. The cause of Jimin’s heartache was right before their eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just finishing up,” Soojin nodded at everyone before saying, “Night, then.”

Jungkook took no time in closing the door, spitting out, “Unbelievable,” before turning to face the others.

“Are we apart of a movie or something?” Y/N questioned, not understanding how any of that just happened.

“A really shitty one, if that’s the case.” Chaeyeon answered her.

 “We should call it a night,” Hoseok said once more, hovering near Y/N. She silently agreed. 

Jungkook nodded, looking distracted. He stayed by the door, as if prompting them to pull themselves together. As Hoseok, Y/N and Chaeyeon gathered their belongings together, the latter voiced, “I can’t decide whether we should’ve just called it a night earlier to prevent everything from happening or if it was inevitable.”

“Knowing this group, it was destined to happen. Whether it was now or days from now, we all haven’t been on good terms for a long time,” Y/N was disheartened. Maybe they all were. 

Without wasting any time, the three headed for the door, Jungkook holding it open for them. 

Chaeyeon was first, hugging him lightly. “We’ll talk soon, okay? If you need anything, let me know.”

He nodded in response. Hoseok was next, the two hugging before they shook each other’s hand. Using his other hand, Hoseok grasped his shoulder as he said, “I’m sorry this is how our last night went in the apartment. We should’ve done better.”

“It’s a group effort. Don’t stress too much.”

Hoseok added, “If you need help moving your things, hit me up.”

Lastly, it was Y/N. She paused for a moment, wondering if he would be okay with a hug. Before she could even decide, he stepped closer and hugged her tightly. While holding her, he uttered, “I know I’ve been difficult. I just… hope it’s not too late to fix it.”

Pulling away, she gave him a reassuring smile. “I would love that.”

They shared a moment, an understanding hanging between them. For that moment alone, Y/N’s hopes weren’t completely diminished. 

Outside the apartment complex, Jimin, Taehyung and Miyeon were nowhere to be found. It worried Y/N to no end and the same worry was etched in her companions.

“Be safe getting home, Chae,” Hoseok said sternly, hugging her. 

“Yeah, text me when you’re home,” Y/N added, getting her own hug in.

Chaeyeon forced a smile as she unlocked her car door. Just as Hoseok and Y/N moved toward his car, she called after them.

“Guys?”

They turned and looked at her. Y/N’s face fell as she picked up on her facial expression. She was trying to hold it together, grip tight on her keys as she looked off to the side. Before she could open her mouth, Chaeyeon straightened her back. She patted down her hair, clearing her throat as she pushed some of it behind her ear. 

“We can come back from this, right?”

For once, Y/N didn’t have the words. Usually, she carried some faith in situations like tonight. Though she was always worried and fearful of the potential downsides, there was always a piece of her that felt in her heart they’d make it out. 

That’s what it meant to be one of them.

No matter the fight, hardship, tension… to be one of them meant to be there for one another.

What did it mean when one night sent all of that crumbling down?

“It will be. It’s a matter of who’s willing to put in the time,” Hoseok said simply.

Even though his face was firm, his tone determined, Y/N could tell it did little to comfort Chaeyeon. She merely nodded, forcing one last smile before pulling open her car door and disappearing inside. 

Y/N remained standing off to the side, watching her pull out of the parking space, then the lot. She watched her friend leave, feeling more defeated than she ever had in any friendship. 

Why had she been right?

Why couldn’t she have been wrong about where the night would lead?

Because she would’ve given anything to be wrong if it meant not feeling Taehyung’s disappointment, Jimin’s pain, Ryujin’s rage. 

She would’ve given anything to repair the damage that had been dealt.

“Come on, love,” Hoseok softly said, holding out a hand. 

He walked her to the passenger side, not forcing anything out of her. Y/N knew that he wouldn’t pry it out of her because that’s how he was. They would talk when they were ready. Before getting in, she turned to face him, her eyes haunted. The sight looked like it hurt him, not saying a word as he pulled her into his chest. Pressing his lips to her temple, he whispered, “We’ll figure it out.”

“Will we?”

“We will.”

-----------------

Just like that, it was the morning. Blank pages, scribbled notes and frustrated grumbles were the companions of Y/N’s thoughts that continued revisiting the night prior. She couldn’t help it, not really, not when Jimin’s tear stained cheeks shined in her mind. Or how Taehyung’s disappointment poked at the edges of his lips, aching to be let out. How could she focus on her homework when Ryujin’s shoulders quivered with rage or the sight of Soojin’s drained eyes left a sharp ache in her chest? It’s nearly impossible to be focused when a night like the one she just had hung over her head like a storm cloud. 

Breathing in deeply, she slammed down her pen a little too hard on the glass table, alerting Hoseok from the couch. She didn’t bother to look at him. Instead, she rubbed her hands together as her eyes grew tired from watching the page marker appearing and reappearing with no words in front of it. It was exhausting being this uninspired.

She sensed them before his hands even touched her. She knew he was behind her before his hands slid across her shoulders. Her eyes fluttered closed at the sensation, his slender fingers gently massaging wherever they touched. 

Y/N heard his voice but not his words, only an indiscernible hum quieter than the music flowing from her headphones. Reaching up, she pulled them off her ears and looked up at him over her shoulder, the music the quiet hum now as he gained her undivided attention.

“What did you say?”

“Maybe you need a break from staring at a blank page.”

Her gaze pulled back to the blank page, a heavy sigh resting on her chest at the sad sight. The page morphed in her mind, the memory of Jimin’s face paling at Miyeon’s departure filling her vision.

Y/N uttered, “Maybe that’s a good idea.” And so Hoseok took her hand and led her to the couch where he had previously been resting. A quiet murmur of a 2000’s romance played from the television ahead of them. Neither of them weren’t really focused on it, at least Y/N wasn’t, as she settled into Hoseok’s side. His body wrapped her in a comforting warmth, more so than the blanket resting atop their bodies. His presence was more comforting than the softness of the sofa beneath them.

Studying his side profile, her eyes took in his attentive gaze. There were those eyes, their attention focused solely on the quiet movie in front of him. That’s how they always were no matter their focus. Wherever and whoever he looked at was his only interest in the world until he looked away. 

When he was serious it was an entirely different Hoseok. She mostly knew him as the smiley and playful guy even before they dated. It was a rare occasion for him to reveal any of his negative feelings. When he did, it weighed heavy in his limbs and face. The frown would pull his face rough, his body slouching with the weight. At least to her eyes, it was easy to spot when he was upset. It came with the honor of owning one of the keys to his heart.

That’s why it was quite easy to spot something was on his mind other than the movie. 

Subconsciously, he shifted in his seat before glancing at her. Running his fingers along her arm, he squeezed gently before resting them in her hair. “What’s up?”

Poking his cheek, she asked, “Did you want to snuggle for me or for you?”

Without looking at her, he simply said, “Both.”

“I see.” She turned her attention to the television- not really- and looked at what was happening. In this scene of the movie, two teammates of a football team were fighting over a secret between the two. Picking up on their fight, one was yelling at the other about being distant. Ironic. Without looking back at him, she said, “I can’t stop thinking about last night.”

“Me either. Couldn’t sleep much last night.”

“Ditto.”

They both watched one of the football players storm off, the other brooding and watching him go. Delivering a cryptic line, the movie cut to commercial. Y/N took that as her cue to duck her head into his neck. Breathing in the citrus- because of his body wash- she utilized it to reign in her stress. Medicinal, how life was when tucked into his side. 

“Before last night, I would’ve thought it was impossible for things to turn that terrible.”

Y/N nodded her head in agreement. He continued, his voice low and soothing. “In a way, I think the path of the group was headed that way regardless. You sensed it, it crossed my mind. I’m sure everyone did. Unfortunately, people like Taehyung block it out and don’t see it coming until it hits them straight in the face. I don’t blame him, though, I actually admire him for it. Maybe it would’ve made the night more bearable.”

“Not necessarily. If anything, Tae probably took it the hardest. And I hate to imagine.”

Hoseok looked at her then, his eyes reflective of her own. A mix of disappointment, melancholy, confusion. She watched his internal battle live as it played across his face. It was a sight hard to watch, for a magical man like Jung Hoseok who was born to smile to do anything but. 

He ended his internal battle by resting his head on top of hers and away from her keen eyes. She let him, of course. 

“I just wish… that I could be there with them. With Jimin and Tae, I mean. I’m worried about them.”

The words hung in the air for a few beats, Hoseok’s fingers pausing in their movements across her skin. The warmth hovered over her skin as her cloud of security. The stress was low when he was near. 

Shifting away from her, she looked over at him with question. He looked back at her as his hand cupped her chin. The determination in them seemingly came out of nowhere but without even knowing what he’d say, it woke her up.

“Then why don’t we?”

“Why don’t we what?”

“Why don’t we be there with them?”

Her lips stretched into a smile, as if he somehow discovered the solution to it all. Who knew? Maybe he did. They wouldn’t know unless they tried. 

And so, Y/N joined him in standing up and following his lead.

-----------------

It’s odd how the little things will stick out in memories. 

As Y/N stepped out of Hoseok’s car, the same sounds filled her ears from the night before. The leaves overhead caressed each other while they intimately danced. The leaves on the gravel beneath her boots chased after each other and played tag, the light scratch subtle over the wind picking up. 

It was a chilly late morning, the sky was overcast and gray.  

She didn’t like gloomy days and found sunny days more favorable. Maybe it had to do with her warm lover, but there was something comfortingly familiar about those kinds of days after loving him. 

Staring at the apartment complex ahead of her, it was an alternate reality of last night. It was day time now, a warning overhead. Was it an alternate ending or a second chance, a slight light in the darkness that hung over them. Just like the night before, Hoseok walked around to stand beside her. His body shielded her from the wind, watching her closely as she took her time sorting her thoughts. 

Looking over at him, a look washed over his face- something akin to shock. Or was it realization? His eyes found the gravel beneath their feet, a hidden smile on his lips. She asked him what he was thinking, but he merely shook his head as he stepped backward toward the apartment. 

Holding out his hand, she took it as he intertwined them quickly and led the way. Pestering him, he wouldn’t tell her what the secret smile was and why it was so secret. 

It wasn’t crossing her mind then, but it would later. How it really did seem like an alternate reality, a better one. 

Here they were, in broad daylight. They were in a familiar place as they stayed close, their love wrapping around their intertwined fingers. They weren’t worried about their friends seeing their affection or being mad at them. There wasn’t any secret of their own weighing on their lips scratching to be let out. 

There wasn’t any distance or darkness. 

There was only devotion on display. 

And she didn’t even notice.

“It’s not the time,” he finally spoke, a laugh mingling with his words.

She clicked her tongue. “Why not? You chose to smile at this time and you can’t even tell me why?”

“I’ll tell you when we’re alone.”

“We are alone!”

“Not technically.”

“Hoseok-” Her mouth cut itself off before her eyes truly registered what she was witnessing up ahead. Before them was Jimin, shoving a box into the trunk of his car. That part wasn’t particularly confusing, pretty sensible actually. 

The part that threw her, and Hoseok most likely, was Soojin hovering behind him. 

She was still adorned in the pajamas from last night, her hair thrown in a haphazard bun on her head. Lion themed slippers Chaeyeon bought her for her birthday last year were on her feet. 

Y/N pursed her lips. 

As they drew closer, they heard Jimin’s low murmur.

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a hassle but I think I’ll manage.”

“That’s really good. I’m happy for you, J.”

The sound of the nickname she designated for him stirred an uncomfortable feeling in Y/N’s stomach. 

Alternate reality it was, then. Or time travel back in the past, when these two were still together. 

Just then, Jimin’s eyes found the approaching pair. Y/N faltered in her steps a bit but Hoseok smoothly swept in by pressing his palm into her lower back, her tether. She couldn’t decipher the look swimming in Jimin’s gaze. However, it didn’t prevent her from staring back. 

“Hoseok. Y/N,” was what he managed, his voice a little stifled. As his eyes jumped away, Y/N determined what his previous look was: shame. 

“It’s good to see you steady on your feet. How are you feeling?” Hoseok’s questions were far from malicious, the opposite actually. They were injected with good nature. 

Jimin ruffled his hair before rubbing at the back of his neck. “Ah, well… I’ve felt better. Regarding a lot of things.” His eyes snapped to the pair then before quickly looking away. 

Y/N remained quiet as she watched Hoseok throw him a line, a comforting smile playing on his lips. “We all have our off nights. I don’t hold it against you.”

Gratitude washed over Jimin’s stature as his shoulders loosened. Instead of acknowledging him, he turned to Soojin. “I’ve got to get this finished…”

Soojin waved her hand dismissively. “Totally get it. Good luck with the moving out. And… with everything. I wish you nothing but happiness.”

It was the first time Jimin looked at peace in the last few months, his eyes light as his lips slightly quirked. “I wish you the same.”

That was that, Soojin nodding at Hoseok and Y/N before heading back into the building. Hoseok turned to Y/N then, studying her face. She sensed what he was looking for, wondering what her angle would be with Jimin. Tilting her head at her friend, she straightened before nodding at him once. Just like that, he understood. 

Hoseok shifted to look at Jimin. “Are Tae and Jungkook in the apartment?”

Jimin nodded. “Yeah, Taehyung has quite a few things left to pack. Jungkook is whining and waiting for him.” Just then, he closed his trunk. “I’m just about finished here.”

Hoseok stepped up to him, clasping his shoulder. They shared a look, a morose expression all across Jimin’s features being met with Hoseok’s own reassuring one. Y/N turned away from them, letting them have their moment. 

Ignoring their quiet chatter, she allowed herself a moment to process her thoughts. 

She wasn’t quite sure how to go forward with her concerns. The reality of the situation was, when Chaeyeon encouraged her to come to the hangout the night before, the pair of them were in way over their heads. Maybe all of them were. It’s not up to any individual or two to magically repair what’s been severed. Even Hoseok, the most magical of them all.

Y/N, Chaeyeon, Hoseok, Taehyung. None of them could hold onto every single person’s hands to make sure they all stay the same. It’s apart of life, every single individual growing and changing with their experience and wisdom. Sometimes certain bonds outlive others and sometimes friends continue on for a long time. 

One can’t force a friendship. If the group is meant to divide or to simply- cease to live on, it was going to happen regardless of who tried to keep the sand from slipping. That was just it. 

Their friendships were fragile, intimate and personal. Everyone had a hand in it and everyone had their own responsibility they played. But one person couldn’t carry all the weight. Two people couldn’t. All of them couldn’t. 

Some friendships hold the test of time. Some sand turns to diamond. But some sand does what everyone knows it to do… slip through. 

Everyone’s story is different.

As Y/N turned to look into Jimin’s eyes, she wondered how their own chapter would unfold.

She took one step and his gaze danced away, using the moment and taking in his appearance. His cheeks looked flushed, his hairline damp with sweat. As usual, he was sporting a darker look. On numerous occasions, she would constantly tell him to at least wear something lighter during the day. It never swayed him, opting for black or darker colors that might as well be considered black. She was sure he regretted it now as the heat beat down on him.

“I,uh,” he cleared his throat as he shuffled on his feet, “I just finished packing up all of my things.”

Y/N was in front of him now, giving him the comfort of looking away from his face to his car beside them. She nodded along with her words. “Crazy. It’s officially time for you to say goodbye to the apartment.”

“Yeah… never really thought about this day coming. It’s weird now that it’s here.”

“I bet.” 

The silence poured in, the background soundtrack the occasional leaf dances taking place in the parking lot. She watched him through the corner of her eye and how he fiddled with his long sleeves. To keep his hands busy, perhaps. Or maybe it was his way to stay calm, imagining it was hard to talk to her. 

“Do you maybe want to sit in the car? I can blast the AC and we can just… chill for a moment?” His eyes were wide like that of a child, expectant and innocent. It tugged on every single string of Y/N’s heart, to be able to catch wisps of the Jimin she knew hidden away in the new Jimin who had been moved out long before this day. 

“Sure.”

She didn’t move to the passenger door, opting to watch him frantically move to his side of the car. He didn’t notice her observing, a silent guardian watching over him. Before pulling open his door, he stayed still for a moment. Maybe he was preparing himself for their conversation, maybe he was coaxing himself into calmness. Chances were, she would never know what was crossing his mind at the moment. She didn’t know if that bothered her more than she would’ve liked. All she knew was, now more than ever she wanted to walk away from this conversation knowing more than she has these last few months. 

Y/N wanted a chance. She wanted to turn the page to find blank lines, to fill them alongside each other. There had to be another chapter in their friendship. 

If she had anything to say about it, she wouldn’t let their friendship end with a drunken outburst and his pain. 

Sliding into the car hit her with a sense of nostalgia. A sped up version of first year students, new to each other but old with their souls, getting cozy in the front seats and with each other. A younger Jimin, a more hopeful one with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on the window. His dark hair would dance wildly with the wind, his face accepting its kisses. Back then, he looked weightless in those moments. He looked happy. 

When they would drive in his car at the beginning of their blooming friendship, that’s when she got to know him. In those moments of vulnerability, when it was easy to read him and easy to grow intimate with his silence. He struggled with it, and that was okay. With the speed of his car, the wind as their friend and the promise of a future friendship, there were unspoken words and that was okay. 

Blinking it away, Y/N got comfortable in the leather seat. Reaching forward, she adjusted the air vents on her side. It wasn’t their past selves anymore, it wasn’t a youthful Y/N and Jimin looking at the world with starry eyes. They were burdened now with crashing meteors and spoken words echoing in their memories.

“Is it too cold?”

She shook her head.

“It’s just like old times. You know how much I like the cold,” He added.

Y/N tried a smile. She felt his gaze and his effort. Her mouth pulled downward uncontrollably.

Jimin suddenly and rapidly twisted his body to face her. From the corner of her eye she watched his mouth open to speak. As quick as his franticness came, his lips found each other again as he settled back in his seat. 

She figured it would have to be her, given the circumstances. Rubbing at her thighs, she heaved a deep breath in preparation. As she began, he held up a hand to silence her. His voice came out gentle but strong. 

“No, I need to do this. I-” He sighed heavily, tugging at his hair gently before burrowing his hands in his sleeves. “What do you say when words aren’t enough? Y/N, I had no right to put you and Hoseok on blast like that. Even if you had confided in me, which I understand why you didn’t, I still wouldn’t have had a right.”

“Jimin-”

“No, I get it,” His voice was shaky, his eyebrows pulled together as he stared down at his lap. It looked as if he was trying to hold all of his pain together with a flimsy ribbon. “I never planned on doing that, you know. Actually, I saw you guys outside the apartment last night when you arrived. I saw you two… and I figured you’d tell us in your own time. I mean, I’m a mess. Have been for a while now. It’s not like I could blame any of you anyways. Any time you guys tried to get me to open up, I would just shut it down. That’s all on me… There’s no excuse.”

Y/N reached over and rested her hand on his forearm. His eyes widened at her, as if it had been a long time since he felt a comforting touch. How long had it been since he talked to someone like this? 

“Jimin…”

His eyes flickered up to hers as he gave her a sad smile. “I really screwed up, didn’t I?”

She tightened her grip on him. “We all make mistakes. And… I’ve done wrong by you too.” Confusion filled his features, but she continued with her words. “It’s taken me way too long to realize that you need someone with you right now. You need a friend, and you’ve needed a friend for a while now, and all of us failed at that. I failed. Regardless of everything, I should’ve tried harder. Maybe you didn’t want to confide in me or any of us, but that’s fine. That’s not an excuse to pretend that everything is fine. I should have done better.”

He stared at her, open-mouthed and speechless. His expression from before was nowhere to be found, replaced by an unidentifiable emotion. Her heart rate sped up as she witnessed his eyes flood with tears. Reaching over with her other hand, he waved her off gently as he blinked rapidly, a laughter bubbling out of his mouth.

“No, no, I’m fine, I just…” Looking ahead, a genuine smile found his lips and it eased Y/N’s heart a little- albeit, she was confused. “You are a wonder, Y/N, you know that?”

“Huh?”

She could identify the look on his features now; he was touched. The Jimin she looked at now, well, it was the Jimin she had known all along. “I’ve known you for a while now. And sometimes, you still manage to find a way to surprise me.”

“Jimin, what are you going on about?” Even her own tone had lightened up, an uncontrollable smile on her lips.

“You and I both know that I’m in the wrong for what I did. Even if I’m sad or heartbroken, it’s wrong of me to tell your business like that. No excuses. And you still manage to take some of my blame. You’re… a great friend like that. Never letting any of us be alone in anything.”

Y/N shook her head, heaving a deep breath. She opened her mouth to respond, but his words kept her from talking. She had never really looked at herself like that and it had her re-thinking her response. Before she could get a word out, he continued. He squeezed her hand once more before facing her with a soft smile and a gentle tug on her shirt.

“You’ve always been… how do I put this… you’ve been my circus mirror. I know that sounds confusing. What I mean is,” He paused as he had to look away, his finger moving to point up in the air, “I look at you, and I see a better version of myself. It fools me, makes me feel better about myself. I look at you and it reminds me that it’ll be alright.”

The feeling she was feeling at his words was nearly indescribable. It was her heart cracking open and her affection for him pouring out. It was a present of care and love wrapped in a bow of melancholy. His words were sadness injected with sweetness.

Y/N shook her head as she tried to force her emotions down. “If only you could see how I see you. If anything, I would love to be your… projector. I would project how I view you, how incredible you are.”

The smallest smile tugged at the corner of his lip. “Thanks, Y/N.”

“I’m serious. I’m not a trick mirror. As your friend, I officially declare myself your projector. The title is a working progress because it could definitely be better.”

For the first time since she could remember, Jimin let out a genuine laugh. His eyes shined like the sun hitting a window. Warm. 

They soaked in the silence surrounding them, a comfortable and familiar one. It was a silence she had become friends with once upon a time, a time where a younger her wanted to get close to a younger Jimin and in order to do that, she had to get well acquainted with it. 

She understood what their chapter was and she was mistaken. 

It wasn’t ending and it never would be. Past Jimin wasn’t bad. It was apart of him and always would be. Just because he reverted back to the way he knew how to cope, it wasn’t the end of the chapter they had been writing together. 

It was just her responsibility to get reacquainted with the silence.

Similar to the title of her responsibility to Jimin, their chapter was a work-in-progress.

Soaking in the silence, she didn’t mind. For Park Jimin, she didn’t mind at all. 

“We should head inside. I’ll tell those knuckleheads goodbye and you’ll… well, you’ll be everyone’s projector.”

“You give me too much credit,” She joked as she got out of the car.

“And you’re too modest,” He shot back smoothly as he locked the car and followed her to the apartment. 

The air between them was lighter, a new sensation she was sure the both of them were soaking in. There was still much to talk about and to catch up on- mostly, it was time to start writing in their pages again. She looked forward to writing about his smiles the most. She missed his smile. 

As he reached to open the front door, her hand on his shoulder made him pause. Twisting to face her, he gave her a perplexed look. 

“I just… wanted to ask if you’re okay?”

Jimin’s eyes flickered with amusement. “I am. Actually, I haven’t been this okay in a long time. Last night was a wake up call I needed.”

“I know I haven’t been the best at proving it, but I’m here for you. To talk about anything and everything.”

“I know, Y/N. Thank you.” 

The smile he gave her was a familiar one. 

They looked at one another one last time before he opened the door and led her inside. 

“Y/N!” Taehyung’s excited greeting made her heart smile. Rushing to hug her, she chose to ignore Jungkook’s huff of frustration and complaint about his procrastinating on packing. Instead, she wrapped her arms around him and ignored the urge to cry. Pulling away, his excited gaze softened into understanding. Rubbing her arm gently, he said, “I’m so happy you guys came.”

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Taehyung grinned then, a big and sincere smile that brightened his whole face. Pushing away her sadness she attempted to mirror it. Suddenly, he wrapped his hand around her wrist and began tugging her toward the hall.

Childishly, he stuck his tongue out at the remaining guys standing in the living room. 

“Y/N won’t scold me about packing. She’s my new packing partner!”

Jungkook rolled his eyes and called out to them, “Have fun packing for a year then, you ass!”

Hoseok playfully shouted to her, “I’ll only save you once it gets dark out.”

Y/N shook her head as they reached his room. Although there was more progress since yesterday, there wasn’t much packed.

“Tae-” She said with disbelief.

“I know what it looks like, but I didn’t mean to postpone so much! Look how perfect my room looks! Why would I want to destroy that? It’s fate, I mean-”

Her tone hardened as she pointed to the corner where boxes resided. “Grab a box and stop messing around.”

Taehyung whined loudly, “Damn it! I got another wack ass packing partner.”

It took a lot more effort than Y/N expected to not crack her tough exterior upon hearing the guys from the living room burst into laughter.

“You guys shut up!”

“Pack before I kick your ass!” Jungkook shot back. 

Taehyung shook his head, even his own frown dancing with a smile. 

Some time passed in silence. If Y/N tried to guess, she wouldn’t know how much time. If it were an hour or ten minutes, she didn’t know. It was nice, though, and if the peaceful look on Taehyung’s face was anything to go by, he didn’t mind the company. 

For a guy like Taehyung, she knew it was hard for him to let go of things. Whether it be a person, an idea, a notion, or a place.

That’s why he had grand theories like his love life one. It was why he waited so last minute to pack up his room. Yeah, maybe he liked the way the room looked when it was untouched. Maybe he lost track of time. The true reason was, he just wanted a little more time with something he loved.

“I’m going to miss this place,” His voice was soft, almost unheard over the sound of him taping up a box. However, Y/N had been listening for whenever his voice would fill the room. “Of course, I’m going to miss living with Jimin and Jungkook. I’m going to miss our nights trying to do homework in the same room and drastically failing. I’m going to miss craving Mickey D’s at 2 am and bugging Jimin to drive us. One time, Jungkook spilled his smoothie on Jimin’s bedsheets and I have never seen Jimin’s face get so red.”

Taehyung burst into laughter at the memory, his eyes unseeing. As quick as the laughter came, it faded as his face dampened. He bent over the box in front of him and slowly placed some of his belongings into them. Glancing at Y/N, a soft and forced laugh fell from his lips. “I remember when Jungkook had nightmares the first couple of weeks when we moved in. He missed his family so much that he would wake up crying. The first week or so, Jimin and I just gave him privacy. We realized how ridiculous that was and started sleeping on the floor by his bed. He stopped having them after that.”

Taehyung swallowed thickly, his eyes a little glossy. Y/N pretended not to see the tears that managed to fight their way through, opting to look away. It was painful but she was going to be there for him through it all. If what Jimin said was true, she would take on some of his sadness for him. 

She knew it was only natural, what he was feeling. It hurt regardless, especially when such a hopeful soul was getting caught on his sadness.

He continued on reminiscing. “When I would get sick, Jimin would make me soup. Sometimes I was a nuisance and was picky, but he never complained. And he would always come home with medicine, orange juice, sprite and gatorade,” He scoffed with amusement, “Not that he would let me touch them. He’d practically drown me with water all day.”

He sniffed loudly, standing to his feet and walking to his closet. From where she was perched, she couldn’t see his face. She didn’t try to either, because all that mattered was that she was here for him. Without turning around, his voice became quiet and thick with emotion.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for everything to change. I mean, what if our chemistry with Namjoon and Jin is off? What if I get sick and no one gets me orange juice? I mean, only Jimin knows what brand I like. What if Jungkook starts having nightmares and I’m not enough to make them go away. What if-”

“Taehyung,” Y/N’s hand found his quivering back. Straightening himself, she listened as he inhaled a deep breath before turning to face her. He looked at her with raw realization, his cheeks shiny with tears. After a moment, he looked past her shoulder at something she couldn’t see. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she inhaled a deep breath of her own. “It’s natural to feel this way. In fact, if you didn’t it would be surprising. Even though change can be terrifying and stressful, you want to know who you are?”

He nodded at her, silently asking her who he was.

“You’re Kim Taehyung, the guy who looks at the world with fresh set eyes and a hopeful smile. You always give everyone and everything a chance, never deny something unless you’ve given it your all. I bet you were worried about how living with Jimin and Guk would be and look how that turned out. Jimin knows where you live, and knowing him he won’t hesitate to drive over arms full with OJ. Jungkook, well, he not only has you as a spectacular best friend but now he has two more roommates that can ease his heart. 

“You look at life, you look at an opportunity, you look at hardship and you shake its hand. Because that’s you. Knowing you, you’re going to go into this with hope and love on your shoulders and fall in love. That’s who you are. And I think that’s beautiful.”

She imagined the look he was giving her mirrored the look she had given Jimin when he called her a great friend. He looked at her with awe, with a new perspective. 

He surprised her with a quick embrace, so tight he slightly picked her up off of the floor. When he pulled away, the look in his eyes was brand new. Ah, the Taehyung he always was and always will be. 

The Taehyung in love with the world. 

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“No need to thank me. Only reminded you of what was already there.”

Clapping once, he huffed out a breath. “Guess that means we need to finish this job.”

“Yup. And I think the way to do it is to have the help of people who are standing around doing nothing,” She grinned at him as his eyes danced with pleasure, “Boys! Get your asses in here and help!”

If possible, they both smiled even wider at the sounds of groans and complaints. Her heart settled at the sound of Hoseok’s encouragement from the other room. Even in different rooms, he had a hold on her heart.

Seeing the three boys enter with carefree smiles and peaceful faces, well, it was all Y/N needed. 

Maybe it was what they all needed. 

Their chapters weren’t the end of the book after all. 

It was only leading to a much bigger, profound and understanding storyline.

She honestly couldn’t picture better people to embark on the journey.

-----------------

When she entered the quaint little restaurant, indecipherable conversations happening all at once filled her ears while the delicious aroma of mixed scents filled her nostrils. Before her brain could decidedly focus on one, her attention redirected. Next, was the sound of clinking silverware and the distant sounds of chefs chattering. She came to a stop as her body involuntarily shivered from the sudden warmth inside. Heaving in a deep breath, her eyes began searching for familiar faces, rising to her tiptoes to scan the back of the restaurant.

“Miss. If you’re looking for someone in particular, you can give me a name and I can check the reservation list.” Her attention was drawn to the host at the podium to her right a few feet away. She hoped he missed the look of embarrassment that washed over her face as she walked over to the podium.

“Hi, sorry, I’m just not sure what name is under the reservation.” She spoke quietly, shyly, hoping to not be a bother.

“Y/N.” She felt a hand on her shoulder and recognizing the feeling of his hand, allowed his soft touch to soothe her. In the dim, golden lighting, the warmth of the small establishment fell away as the warmth of the person beside her overtook her instead. Her initial embarrassment dissipated as something more significant filled its place. Comfort. Safety. Love.

She looked toward his face, a gracious smile pulling at her lips as her nose picked up on his body wash. She didn’t really pay attention to how he apologized to the host and thanked him, gently grabbing her forearm to lead her away. Looking him over, she could only smile as she took in his facial expression. Once they were far enough away from the host, he looked over at her. Offering her a smile she knew was only meant for her, she felt her own widen.

“Hi, my love,” Hoseok said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her temple before leading the way to what she assumed was their table.

“Hey. How was your day?” She asked, finally catching sight of her friends tucked into a corner she couldn’t see from when she entered.

“Alright. Better, now that you’re here,” He said quietly, and it made her heart stutter. All of this time and even the smallest things he did made the world around her still. Even in settings like this, with people around and noise consistent, her ears were attuned to him and the gentle way he conducted himself with her. Except it wasn’t just her ears. It was her entire being. 

“The late girl finally shows up,” Taehyung is the first to greet her, farthest from her side of the table. Hoseok pulled out her seat right next to his own.

Mouthing her thanks to him, her smile fell away as she acknowledged Taehyung’s words. “No one’s slacking except you, Tae. When’s the last time you showed up on time for anything?”

He held up a finger and opened his mouth to respond but quickly opted to shrug it off. “Fair point.”

Y/N looked around the table, at her group of friends that she was happy to see. She looked at everyone’s faces, aside from Hoseok, and felt her heart settle into contentment. Over the course of a couple months, there was a lot of time and effort that went into repairing what was severed. Unfortunately, some bonds were too worn to be fixed. Either way, Y/N looked around and knew after all this time, she was surrounded by the people who belonged. It felt peaceful, having come a long way from all those months ago when they felt hopelessness. They could finally settle in comfort.

Since she met all of them, there had been other friends that had come and gone, issues that some of them, all of them, or one of them had to face. Throughout the years, they worked on everything together. The people who were worth it were sitting right in front of her. 

There was Taehyung directly across from her at the round table. Quickly, he returned to a story she had missed the first half of, his hands moving fluidly. Kim Taehyung was the equivalent of sentimentality. He felt everything deeply and profoundly, looked at the world with wide eyes that dimmed a little every time he got a taste of reality. Regardless of those moments, he never lost that spark.

Taehyung was a romantic. He loved wondering about the world, finding the beauty in everything. Often, he didn’t like to face the harsh reality, choosing to avoid it or ignore it altogether. He liked the idea of love, but never really applied himself to the commitment. He liked old-fashioned love. The love that he felt for the world was confusing at times, because he always had something hopeful to say even when the world was falling down around them. 

The group realized why he was like that over time. When things went wrong, it hit him hard. All of his friends had to face that with him but after knowing him and loving him it became their fight too. If he was going to go through hard times, they were going to go through it with him. 

The bright eyed and boisterous man before them had gone through hardship just like anyone else. And he managed to always pay tribute to that romantic side of him. It was a beauty to see him laughing. 

“...And I think that’s why she ended up standing me up.” Taehyung finished, his eyebrows furrowed as if the reality of the story he told was only now hitting him. 

“Harsh,” Jimin commented, in that concise and unproblematic way he does when he’s amused. 

Park Jimin. He was a bit of a contradiction to himself. The more a person gets to know him, the less clear it becomes as to what kind of person he is. All Y/N knew was that he had a heart of passion beneath the cold facade he claimed. 

She knew him longer than she ever really realized. That was the magic of knowing him; with him, time didn’t exist.

When she met him, he had come off as a sweet and polite guy, which he truly was, and she remembered being a little flustered whenever he had looked her in the eyes. But the novelty of his handsomeness quickly wore off when she realized how difficult it is to get close. 

It was a blessing he chose her as a confidant and as someone he cherished just as much she with him.

Jimin was the type that pretended to be a free soul. He liked the idea of having little worries, of putting up this front that nothing ever scared him. He liked to quirk those little side smiles in the face of people that didn’t know him but wanted to judge him. He was a steel-eyed crossed-arm type of guy… on the surface. 

In reality, he put his whole heart into everything. He intensely focused on one thing, etching his soul into it. He was precise, his hands purposeful and his gaze meaningful. He drank the world in and paid the price. 

Jimin once told Y/N that the reason he tried to be so distant from everyone and everything was because he couldn’t handle it when he was devoted and it failed. But the key word is that he tried to be distant, tried to hide his genuine heart. With a heart like his, it’s hard to hide forever. He could try all he wanted but the ones who were worth it knew.

Just then, a waiter appeared to bring them their drinks. He passed around everyone’s drinks, saying them aloud as he went. When he got to Y/N, he set down her usual in front of her. Mildly surprised, she looked at her love and immediately knew why. 

He raised one shoulder casually before saying, “What can I say? I’m great.”

“Indeed you are.” Sharing a look of fondness for a moment, they looked away when the waiter asked if everyone was ready to order.

Y/N was suddenly thankful she had looked up the menu prior to coming. 

After ordering, the table broke off into smaller conversations. Jimin was on the other side of Y/N, so the two started talking about classes and how life has been going. He mentioned how he had been working on his portfolio for one of his harder classes and it was stressful, but he was managing.

“What about work? How’s that been going for you?” Y/N sipped at her beverage as her eyes didn’t stray from his face. Tilting his head in thought, he exhaled slowly in thought.

“Ah, I like it. I really do. My coworkers can be a bit… difficult. I’m trying to stay optimistic though, because this is the first job I’ve had in my life that I enjoy having. I mean, I’m surrounded by what I love.”

Y/N smiled. “You do love your writing. Regardless of your sucky coworkers, don’t forget that! You’re working at a publishing company before you’ve even graduated. If you keep focused, who knows where it’ll lead you.”

His head ducked shyly.

Because of the topic at hand, Y/N remembered something about another person at the table and called another inhabitant of the table.

“Speaking of jobs, Chae,” At the sound of her name, the girl mentioned looked away from her date beside her, “How’s your new job?”

She offered up a small smile. Tilting her head in thought, she said, “It’s okay. I like my coworkers. My boss is a bit… high-maintenance. But it’s nice, for the most part.”

“Oh come on, I heard the place was a shit hole,” Taehyung threw out there. 

“How are you just going to call her work a shit hole?” Jimin asked with mild amusement.

“I didn’t mean it’s a shitty place. I heard that the boss there treats the workers badly. People quit so much there, you’d think everyone’s winning the lottery.”

Chaeyeon pondered it before saying, “I can see why some people would think that. I don’t necessarily disagree. But it has potential. After all, people love the place for a reason. Great sandwiches!”

Everyone looked at her with a mixture of different facial expressions. There was a range of emotions, from Taehyung looking disturbed while Y/N’s held sympathy. She sounded like she was trying to promote a place that had a reputation of unreliability and dissatisfaction. After all, it was a place on their university campus known for infamously having a rotation of new workers. 

Although everyone was giving her relatively disconcerting looks, Chaeyeon was unfazed. That was just the type of person she happened to be. 

Jung Chaeyeon was a quiet and powerful force. Y/N and Chaeyeon had grown close in the early days of knowing each other, speaking of their dreams of the future. They resonated with each other, because despite the two of them being apart of a tight-knit friend group, they liked their time to themselves. The two of them were independent souls and it was a foundation for a deep understanding of one another. 

Chaeyeon, or Chae as they all liked to call her, was a very ambitious young woman. She strived for the utmost success, and then after achieving that she went the extra mile. The sandwich shop job they were discussing is the second job she was taking on, her first one being at a small bar a block away from her current apartment. On top of her two jobs, she liked to do podcasts in her free time. 

She was the type of girl that liked to do things on her own. Chaeyeon enjoyed her independence, thrived in it. There was nothing quite like seeing how focused and purposeful she was in everything: academics, her jobs and her hobbies. 

With her dedicated nature, sometimes it was hard for her to touch into her emotions. Over time, she grew better at processing her feelings though and working through them instead of discarding them. She was the type of friend one had to be patient with, because she would come around over time. Her reaction to things was simply different, more of a logical outlook than emotional. 

Because of that, it was a special and beautiful sight to see her so enamored by her girlfriend, Yves. It had been only a couple months since the two made it official, but ever since Chaeyeon brought her around it was like seeing another side of her none of them knew existed. She laughed a lot more, joked and teased. Her demeanor completely morphed into something relaxed but excited, blooming like a flower. It was obvious it was all because of Yves.

Even now, right before Y/N had called out to her. Chaeyeon’s attention had been completely wrapped up in Yves’ words as she was engaged in another one of Taehyung’s stories. Y/N wouldn’t tease Chaeyeon for her more-than-obvious focus on her girlfriend’s laugh. It still made Y/N smile, to see her friend happy and in love.

“I have a friend that works there. He hates it.” It was the first thing that Jungkook had said since Y/N had arrived and it steered everyone’s attention to him.

“Who is it?” Chaeyeon asked.

“You know Yugyeom?”

A look of understanding dawned on her face, nodding slightly. “Yeah, I know him. He’s not exactly… approachable.”

“You’re being too nice,” Taehyung directed at her before turning to Jungkook and emphasizing, “We all know that the guy loves talking shit about everyone and everything.”

“Everyone doesn’t mean only you, Tae,” Jimin casually threw in, and laughter trickled out at the sight of Taehyung’s betrayal written on his face.

“Okay, well, I didn’t ask to be disliked by someone who doesn’t know anything about me,” He argued.

Jungkook merely shook his head, agreeing with Taehyung about the topic at hand. “No, Tae’s right. Yugyeom has a tendency to be stubborn about things. It’s pretty frustrating. To this day, he won’t tell me his beef with Tae.”

“Yeah, let’s just say it’s not exactly great when we’re working the same schedule,” Chaeyeon added, taking a sip from her drink.

Y/N looked over at Jungkook then and as if he sensed her gaze, his eyes found hers. She blinked then, wondering if he was going to look away with discomfort. He simply stared back, his dark eyes shaded with secret. After all, that’s how his eyes have always been.

A lot had happened in the past year. She was well into her second year of university, and so much has changed since she first befriended most of the people sitting before her. With that, her friendship with Jungkook had molded and changed plenty of times. As of right now, it wasn’t really anything. It had become stagnant, and it saddened her.

So when he silently slid over a piece of bread on a napkin, she offered him a confused look. The first thing she noticed when she had sat at the table was the emptiness of the baskets in the middle, the appetizer gone quickly even though she was less than five minutes late. She had expected everyone was just really hungry. 

Jungkook, always thoughtful, had saved her a piece. 

“Thanks…” Her voice trailed off as she noticed his attention had already been directed somewhere else. She couldn’t expect anything less. 

As she picked at it, the sound of her lover’s voice filled her ear, his presence awakening her senses. Her nose took in his subtle cologne and his loud body wash. The warmth of his arm residing on the back of her chair was seeping into her back. His low voice made her heart rate pick up.

“We all played rock, paper, scissors for the last piece. Tae obviously wanted it for himself. Some of us wanted it for you. It seems Jungkook and I had the same idea.” She leaned back to look at Hoseok’s face, looking for any signs of distress or irritation with Jungkook. There was nothing but love. 

It was rare when it was obvious to the eye that something was bothering him. Well, to anyone else’s eye. Y/N knew him like she knew her favorite novel. Even so, she could tell it didn’t bother him that Jungkook saved the bread for her. He probably thought it was thoughtful, despite the state of their friendship.

She forced a smile as she picked at the bread, eating it slowly. He leaned over one last time, his words entering her mind like a song. Her favorite tune filled her ears.

“It’s okay, love. I know he’s taking a while. Just gotta be patient,” He leaned back in his seat but he was always near her. His hand remained on the back of her seat, never really away from her. It seemed like he tuned into whatever story Taehyung was telling now, but his words were low and directed at Y/N. She stared at the man she loved, waiting. 

“He’ll come around. He always does.”

She knew that about Jungkook. Except, a big part of her worried this time would be the exception, the one time he wouldn’t come around. She had hoped a few months ago, the night of the move out when he had shown sides of getting comfortable with her again. She had hoped he would open up again. Since then, it was only small talk here and there. It concerned her, fear at the thought of stagnancy. She believed Hoseok’s words. Only time would tell. 

It’s complicated to try and describe Jeon Jungkook with only a few words. He was complex, looking at coding without any prior knowledge of the skill. He was as colorful and confusing as a kaleidoscope. When she met him, she was impressed by how much he was composed of complexity.

He was quiet with his love. He was loud with his joy. 

Silence was his way of coping with anything that intimidated him. He and Jimin had that in common. If it was heartbreak, sadness, confusion, fear, stress, he would face it with silence. It used to be an issue among the friend group, how he would close himself off. It still was, but he was better. 

Jungkook wanted to constantly be moving and working. No one could ever catch him slacking. Even in relaxation, he was persistent. 

It was an inspiring sight to see someone so powerful on their own path. 

He was a mystery, a lot of the times, never quite knowing where he was or what was on his mind. The reason he fit so easily into the group was because when someone gets a peek inside of him, it’s impossible to not crave more.

Taehyung drew people in with his charisma and loud personality. Jungkook wasn’t quite like that but was just as pivotal. He drew people in with his mystery and kept them when they discovered clues.

It was a shame Y/N wasn’t as close to him as they used to be, but she knew better than anyone that sometimes things come and go in life for a reason. If they were meant to be distant friends, she was okay.

A few more topics flitted around the table before the food arrived.

For a couple minutes, the table was silent as everyone dug in, either the sound of silverware clinking against itself or hums of approval in the air. Conversations started up again here and there about trivial matters and instances of humor. One by one, everyone started to finish up their meals. It was light-hearted and nostalgic, nothing too serious. It was Taehyung that inevitably changed the mood.

Wiping his mouth with his napkin, he leaned back in his chair as his face took on a more thoughtful look. As if considering his next words, he paused briefly before filling the silence.

“I have to say, it’s really nice to have everyone here. We’ve… come a long way. And I’m proud to look around this table and see who’s meant to be by my side.”

Mostly everyone nodded in unison, some trained with their gaze on Taehyung while the rest looked away sadly. In reality,  it was how life unraveled. Maybe it was just what time did to relationships. The first year of their epic friendship, the group was nearly inseparable and larger in size. They did anything and everything together, and if it wasn’t altogether it was at least with one. 

But life happens. People get busy, spend their time differently, meet new people. Falling outs, fights, and heartbreak drive people apart. 

What used to be eight turned to seven, then six, back to seven. Over time, the weight of failed friendships loses its heaviness until it can’t be felt at all. Soojin, the woman who stole Jimin’s heart and ran with it. After she left, the whispers of her presence hung in the air. It dealt a harsh hand on Jimin and his next relationship. After a long-needed conversation with the heartbreaker, and Jimin’s decision to not move in with Miyeon, he found his way back to a path that allowed him to grow. 

After he moved out, Jimin discovered an old friend from high school who was searching for a new roommate. He decided that was the best choice for him instead, seeing if he and Miyeon could work on their bond without adding the stress of living together. 

Because of that decision, he found more happiness with himself. With that came the eventual realization that he and Miyeon weren’t meant to be. She respected his honesty and they went their separate ways.

After the night everything unravelled all those months ago, Ryujin didn’t find her way back to her friends. At first, it was slight, like opting out of dinner or bailing out on plans last second. A bond between she and Soojin restored the night the latter took the angry, drunk girl in, because as Ryujin drifted away from them, she pulled in closer to Soojin. 

There was no hostility, only acceptance. Though it’s harder on Taehyung, he learned that it wasn’t the end of the world if he and his childhood best friend didn’t always share that title.

In the most unlikely of places, other bonds sprout and create a beautiful garden. Take Yves, for instance. In the beginning, Chaeyeon had been extremely nervous to introduce her to the group. She was afraid they wouldn’t like her or disapprove. The actuality of the meeting was, well, her friends fell in love with Yves just like she did. After a night of getting to know her, everyone understood why Chaeyeon loved her so much. 

Just like that, Yves slid right into the beautiful mystery of the group’s friendship.

Eight. Seven. Six. Seven.

Numbers don’t really matter. Numbers don’t do justice to the impact of every single soul that accentuated Y/N’s life. If she continued on meeting beautiful people, well, she wouldn’t mind if the number became infinite.

All she knew was that she wouldn’t want to be surrounded by anyone else.

“I got to admit, I kind of don’t want the night to end,” Jimin confessed, not really looking into anyone’s eyes.

“Yeah, I don’t either,” Chaeyeon agreed, doing the opposite as she purposefully looked at everyone’s face.

“So let’s not let it end,” Taehyung suddenly spoke with passion, leaning forward and surprising everyone out of their silence. “Let’s go somewhere else. It doesn’t have to be anywhere special. We can go back to our place. Joon and Jin won’t mind. Jimin, you haven’t seen what we did with Guk’s room! It’s half hot mess, half gaming studio. And a mini comic book store. Oh! And a cool little mini bar-”

“Dude, shut up,” Jungkook groaned, looking up at the ceiling in embarrassment.

Jimin grew flustered at Taehyung’s attention, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Sorry about that. I’ve been trying to find time to come through and visit. With the new job and everything...” No one acknowledged what he was implying, but everyone knew exactly what he was saying. And no one minded. Jimin was better, happier. None of them would even think to give him shit for it.

Taehyung cleared his throat. “No worries, man. I get it. But guys,” The fire came back, “When will we get a chance to hang out like this again? I know all of us tend to get… busy. So what do you say?”

Chaeyeon’s face grew bashful, “I don’t know… I have work early tomorrow and I just-”

Yves said, “Come on, Chae. It’s just for one night.”

“I don’t know. I have a pretty big exam in a couple of days that I should probably study for...” Jimin threw out there as he twisted his glass in his hands.

Y/N watched Taehyung closely, watching as little by little the hope in his eyes faded away. It made her heart ache, seeing how much it meant to him to extend the night. He was right, the group hadn’t spent time together in a while. It was for many reasons, not just because of being busy. There was a lot of history, both good and bad, that made the group what it was now. If it didn’t happen now, it might not happen ever again.

They were in a better place now, much better than before the night everything internally combusted. She had a feeling that Taehyung was worried the group would revert back to that. It was different now. It was… revived.

She looked over at Hoseok. His face was neutral, listening as Yves went back and forth with Chaeyeon and Jimin tried his best to be hidden. Feeling her gaze, Hoseok turned to her and offered her a comforting smile. It eased her heart, because from that one look she knew they were in the same mindset.

He spoke up, drawing everyone’s attention. “I think it’s an amazing idea. It’s not often we all get to see each other like this, and who knows when the next opportunity arises. It would be a shame if we all called it an early night before we could even reminisce about how far we’ve all come. Look at Tae and Jungkook. They didn’t think they’d make it out alive with their new roommates. Now, they live in harmony and are thriving.

“Or Jimin. You’re working at a place you absolutely love and we haven’t even heard all about it. Chae, you forget that we all know how you and Yves are considering moving into together. If that’s the case, we gotta start planning ikea trips.” With Hoseok’s magic, everyone’s stress fell away. Chaeyeon’s laugh graced their ears at Hoseok’s thoughtfulness, Taehyung’s hope returned. Even Jimin and Jungkook were blessing everyone with small smiles.

Taehyung looked grateful, relief spreading through his face. The fire from before returned in his voice, turning to Jimin and saying, “Not to guilt trip you, man, but you ace every single exam you take. Remember freshman year with that stats exam? We both didn’t study and I got a 37 and you got a 95! In fact, you don’t even have to stay out long. You just gotta check out his gaming chair I assembled. Jungkook nearly killed me when he got home but it was worth it.  One night isn’t going to hurt anybody.”

He opened his mouth to respond, probably to reject the proposition, but Y/N felt the need to support Taehyung’s idea. 

“Jimin, it won’t be the same if you’re the only one that doesn’t come”

He stared at Y/N then, looking conflicted. As he continued to think, Chaeyeon decidedly agreed she and Yves would go. Jimin was all who was left. 

Everyone watched him, sympathy or determination underlying their facial expressions. After a beat of silence, he sighed.

“Alright. One night won’t hurt.”

Tae thrust a fist in the air, cheering a little too loudly.

“Guess I don’t have a choice, since I live with the guy,” Jungkook uttered grumpily.

Y/N stifled a laugh, grabbing his attention. His stormy gaze lifted a little at the sight, but she found herself pausing when he was quick to look away.

“Let’s get out of here before Tae gets us kicked out,” Chaeyeon said pointedly, everyone collectively agreeing. 

From one beat to the next, the brisk cold scooped them into an unexpected embrace. Y/N was tempted to turn on her heel and head back inside the restaurant. Unfortunately for her, the general agreement was the night would continue at Taehyung and Jungkook’s place. 

Y/N smiled as Hoseok sidled up beside her, feeling comfort in the natural way he slid his hand into hers. 

“This is going to be an interesting night. I can feel it,” he said quietly as they headed toward the parking lot. 

“It really is,” Y/N responded, thinking back on some of the tension that had definitely been present in the night. There was genuinely too much history, too many different experiences and memories that could either bring laughs or awkwardness. She felt herself stiffen at the possibility of arguments brewing, recalling the many times there were issues in the group. That sensation disappeared as it came. It was different now. It had been since that night long ago.

She could recall the nerves she had felt that day, how Hoseok and Y/N restrained themselves for displaying any of their love. It was one of the many reasons her heart had ached that night. 

They had walked out of the night with everything up in the air.

Five months later and they were surrounded by friends who mattered, fingers intertwined and nothing but love in their chests.

Before they could reach their respective cars, they heard Taehyung’s call from behind them. Turning, they watched as he jogged toward them. He looked almost like an excited child, his breath fanning out in a white cloud. His eyes were bright, hopeful. It was really good to see him like this again. 

“Thank you, guys, for having my back in there. I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it is, at least to me.” He attempted to seem nonchalant, shrugging one shoulder. Y/N could tell how important it actually was, though. “I know that what happened a while back was… uncalled for. Or, maybe it wasn’t. It was destined, really. Somehow, we all made it through and came out stronger. I just… worry that if we go too long without seeing one another, it’ll happen again. I don’t know, maybe I sound ridiculous.”

“You don’t,” Y/N said softly. 

He gave her yet another grateful smile. Clapping once, he announced, “Well, I’ll see you guys there then.”

They turned to leave, but his voice stopped them once more.

“Oh, and Hoseok?”

Y/N turned too, as if her name was called. It was natural that way, like her love and her own name were the same. She didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or proud. If she would tell him that, he wouldn’t hesitate to choose the latter.

“Yeah?”

“You always know just what to say to get everyone to listen. It’s magic.”

Hoseok simply smiled. “Not magic, Tae. It was what everyone needed to hear.”

Taehyung tilted his head at his words before nodding slowly.

“Catch you at the apartment,” Hoseok called over his shoulder, pulling Y/N to her car. 

As they walked, she let her thoughts fill the air. “You know, I think I agree with him.”

“With what part?”

“That you’re magic.”

He paused, looking at her and squinting with amusement. “Thanks, love, but I’m being serious. We could all tell that something in us didn’t want the night to end just yet. Jimin was really conflicted. And Chae didn’t outright say no. They just needed a little encouragement.”

Y/N leaned to peck his cheek. “Enter my superhero love to save the day.”

Shaking his head, he took her keys and opened her car door for her. She got in and turned it on, Hoseok closing the door.  Rolling down the window for him, Hoseok leaned down on the sill to look at her.

“Be safe. I’ll see you there.”

“You too,” She smiled at him before beginning to pull out. Before she completely pulled out of the parking spot, she called, “Am I driving to a night of a miracle or chaos?”

“Something tells me it’s a miracle. I suppose only time will tell.”  As she began the drive, she truly wondered what the night had in store. Unlike a night that was losing its prominence in her memory, there was no unease or nerves that filled her stomach as she drove. 

Mere tranquility. 

Taehyung’s abundant love, Jimin’s precise spirit, Jungkook’s fiery devotion, Chaeyeon’s subtle affection, Hoseok’s wondrous wisdom. 

Each of them carried characteristics etched into their hearts, sometimes forgotten or lost or hard to get back. With the right people, the right kind of love and support and perhaps a little bit of a miracle, they always find their way back to that part of themselves.

Always. 

-----------------

When a person enters a world as big and unpredictable as this one, they will never be certain about what awaits them in the future. Stepping out of the house, there are infinite paths a person can take that will alter their future, both literally and figuratively. Every person you’ve met has affected you, every place you’ve been has left its mark. Maybe it isn’t clear or as prominent as others, but everywhere you go your presence is imprinted. 

The world shapes you, and you shape the world. People mold you, and you mold people. It’s a give and take existence we’re all living. There is something beautiful and haunting about this kind of existence, because at times one is more victorious than the other. When the world is giving, we’re on cloud nine. We feel so high, like nothing can tear us down. It feels magical and magnificent. When the world is taking, we fall so far down that it’s hard to remember what it was like being in the clouds. It’s cold and all-consuming. It’s hard to recall what it’s like to be surrounded by warmth.

But in those taking moments, there are pieces of life that are placed there for a reason. Whether it’s a person, a memory, a place, it is strategically staring you in the face for you to reach out and hold as you fight the storm that is overtaking your life. Sometimes it’s not obvious for a long time, the feeling of being alone way stronger than the realization that somewhere there is someone or something to grab onto in your hard times. And sometimes, it just flickers on like a light. This realization, this epiphany that knocks the breath out of your lungs when you look at someone and think, I want this person in my life for a long time. 

When those moments happen, when those pieces fall into your lap, it’s life giving you your own give and take. It’s a battle of, do I let life give me this hand, this little light of faith in my dark times? Or do I take it and hand it back?

For every person, the choice is different. 

The world is your own. And with hardships, comes trials. With trials, comes flickering lights that lead the way. 

With those lights, comes a time when life gives you the people you never knew you needed.

fin.

#angelo works #now you're one of us #nyoou #bts scenarios #bts angst #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #hoseok scenarios #hoseok angst #jhope scenarios #jhope angst #jimin scenarios #jimin angst #taehyung scenarios #taehyung angst #jungkook scenarios #jungkook angst #ryujin scenarios #ryujin angst #chaeyeon scenarios #chaeyeon angst #angelo writing

[ckm-writes]

#Fanfic #Jeca #Bechloe #Mitchsen

[orionsangel86]

Hey All, 

So yeah I’ve been neglecting this blog big time since the season finale and I want to give an explanation. Which is more for my own benefit than anyone elses actually since sometimes writing things down can really help even if you don’t think anyone is gonna read it...

I’ve been running this blog for two and a half years now. Before this blog, I had never involved myself in online fandom or even internet communities in general. I just didn’t do that kind of thing because I didn’t even know about it. I have thoroughly enjoyed the majority of the time spent here. I have enjoyed building online friendships and getting to know this community - a community I have always seen as being honest and friendly and full of bloggers I respect and would hope also respect me. 

Because I am relatively new to online fandom, I guess I have also been extremely naive. When I first started this blog I didn’t do it because I wanted to validate my own opinion of this show, I didn’t do it because I wanted to be a big blogger with lots of followers and posts that gained a lot of notes either. None of that stuff has ever really bothered me too much, I’m not looking for fandom fame here, never have. At first I wasn’t really even seeking out friendships to bleed over into my real life - I was depressed and a bit of a hermit at the time so any idea of making friends outside of the online space just wasn’t on the agenda. My whole reason for joining fandom was because I had previously spent around a year lurking on certain meta writers blogs reading their stuff and thinking “wow” and “I want to interact with these people because this is all awesome”. I wanted to share my opinion and bounce ideas off of those bloggers who I respected and thought were funny and intelligent and kind people. I wanted to get to know them and discuss the show with them.

That was all I ever wanted. End of story. No fame, no massive following myself. No viral posts. Just communication with people I respected.

I got that. For a long time. I still have in a lot of ways. Along the line, I also somehow found myself meeting up with some of these people in real life, and getting closer to them, to the point that now some of them are people I consider my best friends. Others I may have only met for the first time recently, whose blogs I have followed since the beginning, and who I hope I will continue to meet and remain friends with for the foreseeable future - because they are awesome too.

I don’t regret those friendships for one second. But what I do regret is the mess caused by getting close to people who you also interact with in fandom. Because with fandom comes the wank, and when that wank then bleeds into your real life, it really fucks you up. 

So this is where I have been, not just for the past few weeks since I have been MIA, but in fact for around 3 months now. Mentally and emotionally exhausted because of drama that started in fandom that bled over into my real life, and has caused me more emotional upset and heartache than falling out with a former “best friend” a few years back ever did. It is actually shocking how much this former fandom drama has effected me, so much so, that even the people closest to me, who are aware of all the details, probably still don’t know just how much this has fucked with my head and caused me to regress into a shell. It’s really fucking bad and has been effecting my life in more ways than one. 

I don’t think people realise how much all this shit affects us. It was easier when I could separate it. Fandom in one box, real life in a different box. Use each one to escape the other. For the past 3 months there has been no fucking escape for me.

Why am I telling you all this? I guess because I feel like it could help others who are overwhelmed by fandom, by being in a community where it is possible for anyone to suddenly find themselves with a huge following and influence others. It's so fucking easy for that kind of thing to go to people's heads, and there are people in this community who will abuse that and use their status and power to abuse people and generally be shitty human beings because no matter what they do there will be others who will support them and think the sun shines out their ass.

Anyway. I'm not here to talk specifics. I did consider it, but I won't. Though some people in this fandom have really hurt me, I know they will never truly apologise for their actions, or even admit to being responsible. They don’t give a shit about me and in some cases barely know who I am. Doesn’t mean they didn’t hurt me and fuck up my life for a period of time. Others have sat at the side lines and watched as I slowly lost myself to all this shit and instead of being a friend and give me the support I desperately needed, have been complicit in the wank, and let themselves be influenced by the very assholes who started this crap.

Regardless, I wanted this post to be a lesson to those newer to fandom, perhaps there are people out there who have been in a position where they have been hurt by supposed "big name fans" and also get sick in their stomachs when people continue to sing their praises, and can't avoid those people no matter what they do since Tumblr doesn't give us the ability to truly avoid other bloggers even with block and blacklist available. That is my situation now. I cannot continue enjoying this community whilst I am constantly having to be reminded of what I have gone through over the past few months, and because of that, before I come back properly, I need to drastically curate my dash, utilise the unfollow, block and blacklist options, and I suppose carve myself out a new space. A fresh start perhaps. I am still so terribly disappointing in everything. I used to adore our corner of fandom, but it has become so fucking toxic if I don’t try to shelter myself from it I’ll never heal, and I don’t yet want to leave completely.

Nevertheless, I shall persist, because believe it or not, this show we all love still brings me joy, and I want to talk about it again, to my hearts content, with people I care about in this space. But I will be extra careful in future about those who try to connect with me. I have learned my lessons, and I am done. Shitty behaviour online won’t be taken lightly, and I won’t have any hesitation calling people out for it in future.

So here are some lessons I have learned and try to remind myself of every day when dealing with fandom:

If you have been hurt by something, no matter how small, your emotions are valid and you deserve a sincere apology.

People who are truly your friends will stand by you. Those who don't stand by you are not worth your time.

Emotional manipulation is cruel. Don't let people do it. Don't let anyone invalidate your pain by making a situation about them.

Especially when you are then forced into impossible choices.

Especially when your feelings are ignored and you are put in situations that make you extremely uncomfortable.

Just because someone has a big following and comes across sweet and nice online doesn't mean they are. We all have online personas. A lot of people are fake. Take them off their pedestals before you watch them fall off.

Don't believe nasty rumours about people, but understand that blindly singing people's praises is just as bad. No one is fucking perfect no matter how much people may try to portray perfection.

Learn the difference between someone who genuinely wants your friendship and people who want to use you for online validation and popularity. This is important.

Even the smartest people can be emotionally manipulated. it’s not a flaw. It’s a product of someone elses cruelty. It’s not an insult for someone to try to tell you this either. It just means they care about you. 

If you are ever made to feel like your feeling don’t matter, or that you should get over your feelings, get those who tell you that out of your life.  Your feelings matter. You matter. You matter a hell of a lot more than the people who would try to deny you.

Social Justice issues are important, but social justice cannot be an excuse for nasty behaviour. Be wary of those that use social justice as a front for treating people badly. 

Be fucking kind to each other. Treat people with respect, and you will have their respect in return.

Lastly, I want to say that I know I’m not perfect. I can sometimes be pretty fucking horrible, especially when I’m feeling hurt and emotionally vulnerable. I have written the above lessons for me and that last point? To be kind to each other? I need to remind myself of that. To be kind to people I don’t agree with, even if those people attack me. Even if those people have caused me severe emotional stress. Sometimes I fail at being kind. Sometimes I am gonna hurt people including myself. I am sorry for that. I truly am. I do try to recognise my own flaws here and try to be sincere in my message.  I have been so stressed and I just can’t deal anymore. I’m not a bad person, but I know that some of you will read this post and seriously disapprove of it. Perhaps you feel it wasn’t necessary for me to post such a public message. Or that I am just trying to cause unnecessary drama (I’m really not). Or that I want attention (I don’t). I expect people to unfollow me because of this, and I’m okay with that. You do what you have to do. 

From my perspective I HAD to get it all down. I had to pour it all out of me like drawing poison from a wound. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. It’s been eating me alive. It was the only way I could bring myself to get back onto here because this place used to be my passion. I want my passion back.

What I don’t want is anyone asking me to tell them specifics. I want to put everything behind me and start afresh now. I need to rid myself of that negativity and just focus on the good stuff, on the stuff I came here for to begin with. I’ve got a lot going on in my real life separate to fandom drama and I want this to be my escape from that once again, I need this to be a happy place once more and will do whatever necessary to find that happy place.

I’m sorry guys, I know this was super long and prob super confusing for some people to read. I guess just know that I’m gonna try to be back and much more positive and happy than I was before now that this shit is behind me. I’m gonna keep this blog a happy place, ignore and block any sources of wank and negativity, and only post fun stuff about the show going forward. (Aside from the standard show related wank that may crop up here every now and again thanks to Bucklemming) If you are still with me after this long emotional essay, I hope you’ll still be with me going forward, and god knows I could use some actual real friends right now. 

Thanks for reading.

:)

#long post #personal #like seriously personal stuff about this blog and my place in fandom bla bla bla #and also fandom drama #and stuff that has been upsetting me #basically ive been burying an awful lot of shit lately and its come pouring out into a post #shit that i needed to get off my chest #before i can come back #and be my usual happy self again #and just literally talk about SPN all the time #so yeah #fandom drama #wank for ts #do not reblog #i fucking mean that #by all means take the message and the bullet points and write them down or post them separately #as they are important #but please don't reblog #thanks

[meliecho]

Hearts and Heroes: One Shot - chpt. 9: Mark’s Past

A kind warning: This chapter contains a topic that may trigger some people. It’s not bloody, graphic, or gory, but it is psychological. Please keep this in mind when reading. Thank you.

A kind disclaimer: None of this is based in reality. Nothing like this happened 5 years ago. This is a fan created backstory. This is not canon, and not created by the devs of Hearts and Heroes. It is isolated to this story alone, and should not be considered canon in any way, shape, or form.  ...But headcanons are perfectly acceptable.

I have this ability to disassociate myself from the Id so I can put 100% of my ability into the art, even if it tears me apart to do it. Later, when I reconnect, I think, “WTF was I thinking?” I love Mark, so writing this was hard, but it's the story. Creators know the story will beat them with a nail-studded nerf bat until it’s told. We apologize to our characters all the time. I'm sorry, Character Mark. I’m really sorry.

---

Thank you. Please grab some tissues on the way in. I apologize in advance.

---------------------------------

Summary: While Mark watches over Sun, and the team recovers in the infirmary, Tiny Box Tim relates to Blue the story of a poignant moment in Mark’s past within the dream world, and we learn about Tim.

----------------------------------

“Hey, Tim?” Blue caught the little box's attention.

Tim wobbled over and jumped up onto her bed. No matter how many times he had to leap to reach higher places, it looked to take little-to-no effort. “Yeah?”

The main reason she wanted a little bit of distance between herself and the team came out in her next question, “What did he mean when he said he wouldn't lose her, too? I've never heard Mark go off like that. What happened to him?”

Tim quieted his voice. “He won't like me telling you, but in light of recent events, and with you being his team leader, I think he'll forgive me.”

Blue listened closely, letting the little box Somni speak. “I have time. Hit me.”

“You know Mark was chosen just like you were, right? Well, he also started out as clueless as everyone else. At first, he was the only person here. The main hub wasn't more than a single room with a row of folding chairs and a small raised platform for the stage. He didn't know what the heart on his sleeve meant, and for the first few nights he avoided the portal, unsure and afraid of where it would lead. So, he explored the area and got a bearing on this place he dreamed about every night. He started to believe there was a reason he kept coming back here, why he knew he was dreaming but wouldn't wake up, and why it felt real. His only clue was the portal, which remained open as if patiently waiting for him to decide.

“Finally, he just stared it down, flipped it off, and jumped. He created the menu on his first mission to organize everything he found, because that kind of logging system made sense to him as a gamer. That first mission terrified him so much he woke up screaming. Eventually, he fell back to sleep and finished the dream. He rescued the mission target on his own, and they worked together from then on. Ben’s file and his appeared in the menu. Mark designated one room to hold all of the information gathered in these other dreams.”

“Google's library.”

“Yup. Except Google wasn't around yet, so the team leaders had to input everything themselves, or designate a team member to do it. Anyway, he soon realized the hub was a constant in the dream world; like an island in the eye of an ever-shifting storm –a safe room. Terrorlings couldn't get in on their own.”

Thanks to her experience with Mark's nightmare, Blue knew the wraiths could hitch rides in people. They just couldn't leave them while inside the hub.

“It didn't take long for others to start finding their way here, and pretty soon, he had his own team - Ben, Marly, Nathan, Anna, and himself. He was quickly voted in as the leader, even though most of his decisions were more 'Screw it. Let's try it and find out' rather than highly thought out calculated plans. No one really knew what they were doing. Everyone was flying by the seat of their pants, but as the missions added up, so did their experience. The five of them became best friends here the same way they had best friends in your world. Everything was going fine. They believed that they were truly making a difference, even if they couldn't remember it or each other when they woke up.”

He stared across the aisle at his friend's hunched back. Mark was exhausted, drained, and damaged from the battle, but he wouldn't let himself fall. “It happened six months into his role as team leader—about 5 years ago. Ben didn't show up. We got our mission briefing and went into a dream centered around a game called MYST.”

“Never heard of it.”

“It's an old school PC game consisting of puzzles and clues. You have to find books and pages to free a pair of brothers trapped in the books and blaming each other for their father's death, or something. Don't quote me on that. It's been a while.”

“Sounds cool. So, then what happened?”

“Their mission target was Ben.”

She frowned. “Oh.”

Tim continued. “They had to solve some of the puzzles before finally reaching him at the rocket ship up on the platform. But when they got there, the sky turned black, and the stairway to the ground crumbled, leaving them trapped with a horde of Terrorlings. The dream suddenly exploded into pixels around us like we were sucked into a black hole. It left us in this hollow void with the Terrorlings. The dream had disappeared and this was all that was left.”

“Like what was slowly happening because of the black squares in Sun's dream?”

He nodded. “That's when everyone realized the Terrorlings got to him a long time ago—long before he'd even met the four of us. He hid his own battle so well, no one even knew. His heartlight faded just like Sun's.”

Blue listened, completely absorbed in the tale.

“They tried everything to convince their friend that they were there to save him. They cried, they hugged him, they shouted at how much their team mate meant to them. They did everything they could to push that message beyond the Terrorlings' hold, but it failed. He was unresponsive.

“The team fought off waves of enemies, killing dozens of them. It was only when the Terrorlings suddenly backed away from our teammate to focus on us that we knew something was seriously wrong.

“There were too many for us to handle. They restrained the whole team. Mark was shoved to the ground and pinned down. He watched his friend collapse to his back like a rag doll. Ben turned to look at him and said something Mark would never forget; 'I'm sorry. I should have told you, but I couldn't. I made a mistake that I can't take back. Please forgive me.'

“It hit him just then the gravity of what he was facing. He'd reached out in desperation to his friend who was only a few feet away and kept demanding that he fight this. As team leader, he ordered him to stay. His cries mixed with the other three, all begging their friend to hold on, and that they were going to go home. He used the last of his energy on a healing spell to try to fix his teammate.”

Tim's gaze lowered to his clenched hands at the memory of the distorted scene from Mark's point of view. “Mark wasn't strong enough. He was forced to watch Ben’s heartlight go out with no way to save him. Everyone was kicked out of the dream back to consciousness. He woke up crying without knowing why.”

Blue felt a crushing sadness form a prickly ball in her chest. The image of Mark screaming for his friend was powerful enough to form a lump in her throat. Hot tears stung her brown eyes. “So Ben...died?” she whispered.

Tim nodded forlornly. “By his own hand in the waking world. We're not sure how, but he was alive long enough to reach us, almost like he planned it. The dream mission was his way of saying good-bye through one of his favorite childhood games. There really was no saving him from the start no matter what we did,” Tim exhaled. “Mark blamed himself. He still does.”

Dark's admonishment during Mark's nightmare suddenly held more depth than it already did, 'You know you can't really help people. You can't save anyone.'

She looked over at Mark watching over Sun. “That's so sad. No wonder he fought so hard to save her.” She wiped wetness away from her eyes in sympathy for her friend. She couldn't imagine losing any of her team. Just the thought of it terrified her. They were her family here in her other life, rescuing people from the Terrorlings together. She swallowed the lump to regain her voice. “What happened after that?”

“The team broke up. They got together on a few missions a couple of months after that, but it was never the same. Mark lost all faith in himself to lead a team. How could he take on that mantle if he couldn't even save one of his own? So he handed over leadership to Marly and decided to dedicate the majority of his time helping newbies and any of the teams that needed an extra hand. 

“Marly left for 2 years. The pain of losing Ben, and seeing Mark and Nate as constant reminders of the past were too much for her. She came back late 2015. Nate never left. Anna moved to a different hub completely and we haven’t seen her since. 

“Mark made a promise to himself to never be that helpless again. That's why he created the Markihorn after the shop opened—so he could be quickly summoned to a dream to briefly help in a battle, then return here.”

“Did he know any of them in the waking world?” Part of her didn't want an answer.

“Mark pieced everything together over the years. At that time, no, he didn't know them outside of the dream world.”

A soft breath of relief escaped her. “Did he ever meet them?”

“He met the other three a year later at a convention. They were all in the same line of work, but he didn't have everything put together yet, so the connection he felt didn't make sense. They were all connected to each other because of their bond of friendship here. That link that forms from spirit to spirit is actually pretty strong between team members, some more-so than others, and carries over into your world. They got along, and formed new friendships. As time passed, he realized they didn't remember their lost teammate or the dream world while awake, but he did. He was the only one. He decided not to tell them about it while conscious. At least in the waking world, he wanted them to lead happy lives without this knowledge.”

“That sounds like something Mark would do. Damn, I had no idea,” she hushed. “It's terrible. He has to carry that around.” She glanced to Tiny Box Tim, who hopped down to the floor. “Hey, you said 'we,' 'us,' and 'I' a few times in weird places. Were you on the team?”

“Sort of. I was still part of him at that time.”

Blue didn't fully understand the formation of Somnis, but she knew Purple did. She'd have to read up on it, or ask for the Cliff Notes from her best friend. “You mean you were in his head? Like Dark?”

“Yup, but nothing like that big Jerk. Mark lived his life and I was fine with that. I remember the moment I realized some of my thoughts weren't mine and became what I am, but that didn't matter. I was happy where I was being a little character he tapped into to smile.”

“So, you wouldn't have left?”

“It wasn't a priority. I was fine. But the pain from his heart was so overwhelming after that mission, that I debated if it was a good idea to become my own self or not. I even managed to reach him in a deep dream once, but when I asked if I should become myself, all he did was grab me and say, 'We're saving the pancakes, Tim! It's a musical this time. The zombies are onto us. Get in the tub! You drive, I'll shoot!' I asked again, and he yelled 'Yes! Help me, Tim! Get us out of this parking garage! Keep driving!'”

Blue couldn't stop a snerk. “Dreams are weird.”

“Yeah. A lot of his dreams took place in a parking garage.”

“Again: weird.”

“But even in that, he was fighting to stay out of the darkness. He was suffering. Even the happy memories that I recalled to help him were met with a half-hearted smirk. He didn't know what was wrong. I tried to tell him he'd be ok, but every time, the other thoughts that contributed to Dark's formation were louder than me even though I was yelling. He kept thinking my voice was his. He wasn't wrong, of course, but at the same time, he didn't know I'd become self aware a while ago. He wasn't listening to me. So, I had to make a decision; stay and try to deal with this from within and risk being suppressed, or do something here and actually help him. It was the easiest decision I ever made. I pushed beyond my limits and became corporeal a few days later. He needed me.”

Tim also had to explain the concept of Somni, since he was the first one. Mark was super confused, thought he'd gone bonkers, and was a little frightened when a tiny talking wooden box suddenly said 'Hi, Mark!' from outside his own thoughts.

Tim offered her a small side smirk, letting her know everything was ok. “Don't worry about Mark, Blue. He's stronger than people think. You know that. He's one of the strongest people I know. Even though the past hurts, he found a way to heal and use it to help others. He's doing fine. He has his friends in the waking world, and he has you and your team, now. For him to accept joining another team after all this time is a huge step. I'm proud of him for that.”

She bit her lip, sniffling, and gave Tim a promise of her own. “We'll, he's not getting out of this team, now, so he has no fear of losing any of us. We'll always have each others backs no matter what.”

Tim's smile exuded genuine relief and happiness. “I trust you on that, and I'm holding you to it. Get some rest, Blue. You don't want to feel the repercussions of this particular mission when you wake up.”

“Yeah, no kidding. It's a good thing it's the weekend.” Blue watched him bobble over to help the dark haired girl in the gray flannel shirt. She laid back to stare at a lazily rotating ceiling fan and folded her hands over her chest. “We're not going anywhere, Mark. Not from you and not from Sun, Red, Peach, Purple, or Jade. And if you even think we are, I'll kick your butt here, and in the waking world. That's a promise.”

------------

TBC

Prologue: A Light in the Darkness

Chapter 1: Weekend Warriors

Chapter 2: Something’s Suspishy

Chapter 3: Chasing the Sun

Chapter 4: The Nightmare’s Truth

Chapter 5: Light and Shadow

Chapter 6: Lifeline - part 1

Chapter 7: Lifeline - part 2

Chapter 8: Phantom Power

Chapter 9: Mark’s Past

Chapter 10: A Second Chance

Chapter 11: Learning to Breathe

Epilogue: Ad Infinitum

#hearts and heroes #markiplier #fanfiction #fanfic #sad story #mark's past #tiny box tim #strength from your past #angst #i don't know why i wrote this #I'm sorry character mark. I'm really sorry

[btstaejimin]

Desire or Comfort? (Jimin and Taehyung Angst)

Hey guys, 

I haven’t posted any original content for a while, but recently I have reconnected with a friend who is also an ARMY as a result of me sksksksk ^^. She managed to get me to write up my personal dreams in the form of an imagine/fanfic. While also encouraging me to post them, this is my first ever smut post(well first chapter is suggestive, second and third chapters though... oh hunny ( ͡° ��ʖ ͡°) )

I apologise for being MIA for the last year or so, I’m currently in my second year of university... ya girl is getting old T_T. I think I started this blog back in 2015 when I was a year into being an ARMY, I was very active and then exams were around the corner and I just focused on reblogging content from blogs dedicated to BTS. Anyway enough rambling. I’ve written 3 chapters so far (we all know I prefer one-shots cos I'm lazy heh), but if the first one does well I’ll post the other two. Hope you enjoy xx

(A/N: Apologies my writing style might’ve changed a lil bit xx)

Warnings: Smut(in future chapters), Adultery... and Angst heheh

Word Count: 3984 

Part 2

                                                               -

                                                       Chapter 1

                                                                -

It had been 2 and half years since he seized the opportunity to step past the friendship boundary I had created. Though I was in love with him, I was okay with watching him from afar. Our friendship started off with a rare opportunity I came across.

You see I was a freelancer, a teacher in the day and anything in the evening to make extra money on the side. Though most of my jobs were either being a runner on set, makeup artist or hair stylist or even a cleaner. My passion was photography. Non-profit projects were often funded by my side jobs, luckily enough one of the works I did, managed to be viewed by an assistant whom worked for a popular boy band. At the time, I was unaware of their popularity but I did appreciate their music.

Through word of mouth, I managed to work on set at a shoot with the said boy band, and later on, was gifted the opportunity to work full time with their team. I was intrigued by the shortest boy of the group, his skin was fair as snow, ebony hair and hooded eyes that could trap your soul if you were not careful. He was living beauty at its most divine. His looks were intimidating until he smiled, that domineering feeling vanished once she showcased his pearly whites with pride.  His name was Park Jimin. He was the reason for the sins I proceeded to commit, though aware of the consequences.

It was innocent at first, he was one of the seven boys that continued to captivate me without ease. Though he was the most enchanting to me, there was another that did not fail to make me question my sanity. He was tall, shoulders as broad as a door frame, lashes that aided in losing yourself in his uneven brown eyes, fingers slender yet gentle, his rectangular smile would make your heart flutter to the point you forgot how to breathe. He too played a role in my confusion between my heart and my loins. Kim Taehyung. That devil bastard, ruined everything in one simple moment of weakness.

In the first year of working for the seven talented boys, I amassed deep connections to a select few, though I was on good terms with all the handsome men, a select few proceeded to play with my heartstrings as though I was a harp and they were beginner harpists whom they’d break in till they learned every inch of the instrument.

I was like putty in their hands, anything they asked for, I’d do, but their smiles were enough reward for my sore legs. After eight months, Jimin decided to seize the opportunity into asking me on a date.

His hair now blonde, cascaded effortlessly across his forehead, lips plump and rosy, he begun..

“Let me take you out to eat sometime, Y/N” he insisted.

His hand found the small of his neck while he shun his teeth through his thick lips.

‘*Sigh* .. I hate when he does that... Why does he have to do that?’ I thought as I felt my face flush with crimson

‘If I just play dumb and say sure as friends, then maybe, he’ll catch on’

It's not that I did not want to date him, but over time as I stood next to him or remotely near the piece of artwork, I was reminded of my insignificance and how much I didn’t deserve to be even breathing the same air as something so beautifully breath-taking.

“Yeah, let's go get some spicy rice cakes or something, it’s important for friends to hang out” I exclaimed brushing past him to the practice room where all the other boys were waiting.

Though I recall that moment being very awkward, it didn’t stop him.

He followed me into the room, making his presence known.

“Y/N, I didn’t mean as friends, I want to date you, for goodness sakes!” He spoke with haste.

The room did not fail to submerge me in ‘oooh’s’ and ‘ahhhh’s’ and ‘wooo’s’. I was drowning, not only in embarrassment, but fear.

He was something I wasn’t deserving nor worthy of, he was someone whom was my forever person, but things took a turn for the worst in our second year of being together.

Things became dull, overfamiliar and repetitive. We both were undeniably uncomfortable in an environment we labelled to be a place of comfort.

Overtime, it created an issue with his best friend Taehyung, as I often found myself indulging in his company to escape the blandness, I called my lover.

Jimin hated the way I smiled so often around Taehyung, the way he was able to change my body language just through entering the room. He was jealous, and I was ignorant to it. We both found comfort in other things, unfortunately for him, my comfort was found in the other members.

Jungkook, the youngest of the seven managed to find my portfolio of old works and had asked to accompany me on one of my projects, he was the only one who knew about my passion, he was respectful, humble and willing to learn. He had helped me on set that day, our bond became stronger through our mutual interest. After arriving at the dorm that evening, Jungkook continued to discuss possible concepts to explore in my work till he stumbled upon an idea.

“Considering, you’ve been doing minimal projects lately, I’m guessing you’re suffering from mild artist block?” He hummed leaning his head to one side while lifting the corner of his mouth.

“How did you know?” My eyes widened from the sudden intrigue.

“Mmm, you don’t seem yourself lately, I mean we’ve known you for 3 and a half years, yet only 3 months ago did I find your portfolio while you were cleaning out your apartment”

The young man decided to take it upon himself to read me like a book?

I wasn’t offended, more confused, I’d be lying if I said I was myself lately, but with the current tension with Jimin, I never had time to plan projects as I was always preoccupied with my growing concern for our relationship.

“Ahhh, photography is like my little secret you see, it's my guilty pleasure, I don’t really like sharing my work with others” I smiled faintly.

“I see, but your works are beautiful, they are something to be showcased, you know Taehyung is into photography too” He chimed.

Speak of the devil, the handsome figure walked into the open planned kitchen with nothing but slacks, a beanie and a long sleeve t-shirt hanging from his frame. Bastard. He was so effortlessly attractive and he knew it.

“What’s this I hear about photography?” He cheeks balled up as he poured himself a glass of water.

“Hyung, did you know Y/N is a photographer? She refuses to be credited for her works though.” He turned to the older male.

Taehyung stopped drinking, and in that moment, I felt the piercing eyes of the male search for my soul.

“No, I had no idea” He whispered, I could almost taste the betrayal he felt from the string of words, he let slip from his lips.

My head remained low as I searched the cupboards for something to eat.

“Why didn’t you tell me Y/N?, I thought we were close.” He spoke, looking for my eyes.

“I don’t know, it never came up, so I never got around to telling you.” I shrugged.

“But how come Kook knows?” He took a seat at the island, crossing his arms.

“Oh, that’s my fault, Hyung. I went to her apartment while she was cleaning and found her portfolio” He spoke.

The air was thick, I wasn’t exactly sure why, possibly because Taehyung felt left out of the loop, but even Jimin didn’t know much about my hobby, only that I take pictures on occasion.

For that moment, I wanted the floor to swallow me whole.

“I have an idea, since you’re suffering from a block, how about we flip roles, you be the subject and I am the photographer” Jungkook jumped up from his stool, excited from the prospect.

“How about I pick a place personal to me and then the concept I come up with, you have to recreate as the photographer and me as the subject?” He added.

“Umm, I don’t know Kook, I’ve never been the subject before, I’m much more comfortable behind the camera, I mean its a good idea bu-“

“I’m in” Taehyung cut.

“Huh?” I questioned.

“I’ve always wanted to shoot you Y/N, I’ve told you time and time again, that you should model or something, but you never listen to me, this would be a great opportunity, to switch roles and stimulate your creativity!” He answered while Kook nodded his head in agreement.

“I don’t wan-“

“I want to join in too” A voice spoke from behind the nearest wall.

“I mean she is my girlfriend after all, plus I’d get to spend some quality time with her” Jimin smiled.

“I didn’t sign up for this, I don’t want to” I hissed.

“I mean you owe us an explanation about this deep-rooted hobby so this is a nice way out of it and its beneficial to all of us” Taehyung demanded, eyes dark as he stood from the island.

“We’ll let you know what we plan to do, just keep the next two weeks free for us” Taehyung spoke once more, turning his back to me while lifting his hand as he left the kitchen.

-

The time had come where I’d be the subject of the boys eyes, though I didn’t want to, the more I thought about it the more I convinced myself that this was an opportunity for new inspiration. With most things Taehyung requested to do things first, in this instance it wasn’t an exception either.

He had planned to take me to Daegu, his home city and place of origin and birth, he had always been proud of his dialect more than others. Yet, something seemed off with him, he had requested to have me for 5 of the 14 days I was told to keep free.

Why would he need 5 days for a simple photoshoot?

As we began walking through the local market, he began

“To put it simply Y/N, the boys and I decided we would have to do 3 concepts with you each, I got the most amount of days because we will be going to Japan for two of them, the other three we shall be in Daegu” he sung while spinning on his heel with hands stretched out.

“I didn’t agree to go to Japan for this stupid project! I’m going home!” This was a bad idea, I didn’t want to be a pain but my gut was telling me being alone with Tae was dangerous enough in itself, but being abroad with him.. I don’t know whether I’d be able to control my hormones around him, the sexual tension was high enough in itself. The prospect of something so romantic could jeopardise my relationship with Jimin.

He was quick yet firm to grab my wrist while pulling it up to a 90-degree angle parallel to my face.

Stopping me before I could find my way back to the train station.

“Hey, I already booked our tickets with the help of Jimin, it’s too late to go back now”

What... why would Jimin give him my passport and other details so easily if he detests our closeness?

Was he testing me? Or did he genuinely trust me?

-

The first shoot with Taehyung was awkward, seeing him crouched in different positions to find the angle he wanted was intimidating, I hated myself for how I admired his passion, the white shirt he wore showcased his collarbones and abnormally muscular neck. All I could think about was how his skin felt while he pranced around his chosen studio, showing me his body in all angles.

Taehyung appreciated the simpler things in his photography, he had always had an eye for vintage cameras. He’d always exclaim how he like capturing moments and snippets in time loops when it came to scenic pictures. However, with subjects he found it difficult to explore ideas as he appreciated candid shots. The first shoot took place in a modern yet minimalistic studio. Choosing soft fabrics such as satin and cotton, against a white background, mostly using the natural sunlight to capture his shots.

“Y/N, this shoot is about capturing you in your most innocent state, I want you to be vulnerable but willing” He hummed.

“Tae, what do you mean willing?” I questioned.

“I mean, as in willing to learn, I want you to be vulnerable but open-minded to the prospect of exploring a relationship” He demanded.

Yeah, Taehyung was never good at conveying what he wanted from others.

“Okay, let me give you context, you have just come out of a difficult relationship, you meet this guy, he is genuine and he makes you excited, but you are reluctant” He explained.

“Okay, I’m following...” I replied.

“Right, now I want you to be open-minded to the prospect of exploring a relationship with this new guy” He smiled.

At the time, I should’ve realised where he was going with this concept, however, I was too caught up in the moment of feeling oddly vulnerable in front of the camera. I didn’t like it, so I tried to convey what was asked of me so I could return to my comfort zone. Taehyung had made it a point to keep my face natural and the set minimal.

-

“Tae, what’s the general theme of your shoots?” I asked while packing up his equipment.

“Hmmm, I want to achieve three images of you in your rawest form” he hummed while folding the sheets.

“Any particular reason why?”

“I think that’s when you are the most beautiful” He showcased his boxy smile, making my heart flutter for a moment.

I felt guilty as I paused to watch the tall figure move around the studio so gracefully, I wanted to embrace him yet kick him at the same time. He knew I was with his best friend, yet he proceeded to taunt me like this?

“Ha ha, so cringey, anyway I’m going to give Jimin a call” I spoke sarcastically, quickly removing myself from the tension he caused.

Rapidly searching for Jimin in my contacts, I wanted to hear his voice, I needed to hear it, to keep me grounded! I needed to be reminded of the difference between love and lust.

“Jagiya, I miss you” I spoke. [Jagiya=Honey, sweetie, love]

“How’s Tae?” Chim asked.

Odd. Instead of responding to me, he’s concerned about Taehyung.

“He’s well I guess, you could call him if you’d like” I hissed.

“I will, I’ll see you soon”

“Yah! If you dare hang up on me Park Jimin, you’ll have another thing coming” I shouted.

“Like what?” He questioned snidely.

I hung up, his sass was too much for me right now, if anything that call pushed me even further away from him.

“Everything alright?” Taehyung was quick to attend my bruised ego.

I debated making a snide remark about his best friend but the prospect of showing Tae the cracks in what was left of my relationship would hurt what was left of my pride.

“Yeah, I’m going to back to then bnb to have a nap, I’m quite tired after today” I whispered.

“What? No! its only 2pm Y/N, you promised you’d let me show you my home city!” He pleaded.

“Yah, Taehyung-ah.. I’m not in the mood, with you being all happy around me will just make me feel guilty!”

“You argued with Jimin didn’t you.” That boy could see right through me. I didn’t realise how transparent I truly was.

“I did not.”

“You did, you’re so obvious” He sighed.

“And wha-“

In moments, I felt the boy’s strong arms wrap around my torso, pulling me into his embrace. He hot breath dispersed across my scalp. Why? Just why did he have to touch me? He was contributing to the cracks in my relationship. I felt responsible for putting my guard down.

He was the puppeteer to my heartstrings, and I was the idiot allowing myself to be played.

“It’s okay, you can cry. I’m here, I’m always here.” He spoke, placing his chin on the crown of my scalp.

My ears were pressed against his broad chest, his heart was steady and calm.

“Taehyung. I don’t mean to be rude, but can you let go of me” I said brazenly.

“uh?”

I pushed myself away from the figure. I already felt bad for being close friends to the boy, but the tension he was causing within every dynamic I shared with the boys and myself was becoming unhealthy.

-

The second shoot with Taehyung took place in a studio filled with heaps of flowers.

“This is the second stage of your new relationship, you’re blossoming, figuratively and literally” he skipped searching for flowers to encase my body in.

“Imagine that this is a new chapter of your life, better yet a new volume, you’re a new person and this guy brings the best out of you”

At this point, I should’ve seen what was coming, but I was still offended by Jimin’s disregard for my being and feelings, he was purposely being spiteful because he was bitter.

“Ah, one second, Jimin’s calling me” He laughed.

Wow. They are both bastards. I’d half expect Taehyung would not pick up, but I’d also hope that Jimin would contact me back first.

“Jimin told me to tell you that you should unblock him”

Oh, I forgot... I am quite irrational when I’m irritated.

“He also said that he is sorry, and that he misses you”

Suspicious, why would Jimin provide any insight into our relationship when he detests the fact that I, too am close to his beloved Taehyung.

“Ok” Is what I chose to reply with, possibly because I wanted to be an asshole, but also because I refused to show any ounce of emotion to all parties concerned.

-

Before I knew it, I was on a plane to Japan. Sitting next to someone whom was beautiful even when they were drooling. Taehyung had always been irritating due to the sole fact that, that boy could be dressed in a bin bag and he’d still look like a model.

“If you’re going to stare at me like that while I sleep, I’m assuming you’re giving me permission to do the same?” He spoke with his eyes still closed.

That cocky bastard, he had eyes at the side of his head now too?

“Oh no, I was just admiring the string of drool that’s hanging from your chin” I hissed, turning my head to face the seat in front of me.

Hastily, the boy wiped his string of saliva with the back of his hand. Classy.

-

I refused to speak to Jimin till I had landed back in SK. Taehyung and I were booked to be in Japan for 2 and a half days after all, might as well make the most of it, right?

Wrong. That’s where I committed the sinniest sin amongst sins. [not an actual word, but in this instance... is a word]

Japan was beautiful, Taehyung seemed to have perfectly timed such a trip, or it was due to his sheer luck. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was based on luck, due to his undeniably beautiful features and personality to pair.

Sakura. The season of cherry blossoms gracing the country. Taehyung had booked a hotel in Kyoto, his demeanour changed the moment we checked in at the hotel. Something sinister yet determined, became evident in his actions.

-

This hotel had a bath that emulated that of the hot springs famous around Japan. He had me dressed in nothing but a large white shirt. I felt even more vulnerable than I did in the first shoot. I’d hope I wouldn’t have to be in the bath. If I had known what would’ve happened after the shoot, I would’ve protested.

“Y/N, I know this seems outrageous, but I promise you that this is only in sight of our project, I want you to submerge yourself in the water” [water is wet]

“I want you to be completely wet, this is the last stage of your relationship blossoming, you don’t have to feign innocence, you can allow your body to be possessed by lust in its rawest from”

“I’m not going to judge you nor scrutinise you, but I want you to look at the camera as though you’re seeing Jimin naked for the first time” He sang to me.

He was playing a dangerous game, I was only wearing that t-shirt and a pair of knickers, didn’t he know that the material would cling to every orifice of my body. What was he playing at exactly?

“Umm, I don’t feel comfortable with doing that, Tae” I spoke stepping into the mist filled tub.

“Just do it Y/N” He demanded.

“Show me your sensual side, show me what else there is to you” He pleaded.

Was he talking to be directly or figuratively? Or both?

“Taehyu-“

“Seriously, we flew all the way here for you to do this?”

I found myself almost completely submerged under, leaving but my nose to forehead above water.

“You’ve done this for me twice already! I just want to see the real you, okay?” He reassured the knots in my stomach, that this was for art. If I should part-take in such a project, I should at least commit completely.

The transparent liquid aided in adjusting my nerves, it was warm and comforting, I just needed to use my imagination to give the shots that was required of me.

I began posing in ways that were foreign to me, mostly using my eyes to envelope Tae into a façade that appeared real, yet was entirely fake.

I wanted to take him, he was my muse in that moment. I was not making love to the camera, I was making lust to him. He was cruel to put me in such a compromising predicament, but to his surprise, I did not falter at the task at hand.

-

Moments passed and we were finished with his project.

“Wow, that was beautiful” He said in awe as he looked back at some of his prized shots while I continued to sway in the liquid.

He placed his camera in a dry place, reaching for the nearest towel.

Reaching for my hand, he aided in helping me out of the safe haven. I realised later that my skin was visible through the saturated material. Nipples apparent and erect. His eyes darkened before me as he wrapped the cotton cloth around my frame. Pulling me closer, he looked down on me with eyes that had a motive.

“Forgive me for what I’m about to do”

Before I could speak, I felt pressure against my lips. Soft, subtle even pressure, against my lips. He was cruel. I found myself melting into his mouth, wanting more than just a chaste kiss. His firm hands snaked around my hips, allowing the cloth to fall at our feet. Gripping tightly, I yelped, earning him access to explore my moist cavern. Knots found their way into my abdomen. I was excited as a thick fog claimed my vision.

In that moment, I did not give Jimin a second thought. It had been so long since I’d be touched like this, felt wanted like this. Taehyung respected my space, time and individualism. He was enticing, comforting and appreciative. God, he was a bastard for that.

#bts #bts reaction #bts scenarios #bts taehyung #bts angst #BTS jimin #BTS jungkook #bts maknae line #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts photography #bangtan #bangtan boys #bangtan scenarios #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan scouts #bangtan scenario #bts scenario #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts imagination #BTS jin #bts jhope #bts jealous #bts jungguk #bts hoseok #bts hope #bts hobi #bts yoongi #BTS suga

[namjoonsteeth]

Ruin The Friendship (part I)

Title: Ruin The Friendship (mini-series)

Word-Count: 4.5k

Pairing: Jay Park/ Reader (kinda)

Summary: Best friends to lovers. Inspired by Ruin The Friendship - Demi Lovato.

Genre: Smutty Fluff

Part 2 Part 3

“Are you home?”It’s been a while since I’ve heard his voice. When I moved to Seoul to further my career as a stylist, I imagined that I’d see my best friend who incidentally lived in Seoul a lot more often. As the head of not one but two independent record labels, Jay is busier than I could’ve ever expected. If he’s not working at the studio, he’s doing a show, if not that he’s shooting for some high fashion magazine. His schedule is so packed that it’s a miracle when I get a phone call every few days, a luxury that I appreciate considering he’d much rather text me. 

I sandwich the phone between my ear, careful to not burn myself on the leftovers from last night that I’m taking out of the oven. “Yeah, I just got in probably twenty minutes ago. What are you up to?” I ask him.

 I could never be over how proud I am of him. I’d grown up with him back in Seattle talking about all of our dreams, and though he never planned to do this he’d always wanted to be big. I used to go to his b-boy tournaments, now he’s this big star with a billion and one projects under his belt.

 “Can I come over?” I pause. “What? Where are you? I thought you were helping one of your artists with promo in Malaysia or something,”

“I was but I’m home now and my house is empty,” he whines. I can imagine him pushing his pink lips out in a pout.

“You mean your bed is empty and you have nothing better to do, so you want to come and raid my fridge,” I correct.

 “Exactly, baby. Are you busy?” 

Like I’d tell him if I were. Its been a good few weeks since I’d laid eyes on him briefly at a club appearance he’d been working. Probably two months have passed since we’d actually spent any time together. I’d be crazy not to jump at the opportunity no matter what I have going on. 

“No, come over. Bring alcohol and chocolate ice cream,” I tell him. I look down at the sad pan of lasagna that seems less appealing. “And bring food too,” I add. 

He laughs lightly, promising to see me in a little bit. I take advantage of the little time I have to straighten up my small one bedroom apartment. I know Jay won’t care, but there’s always been a part of me that aches to have him see me as an adult. It’s a funny thing; being friends with your childhood best friend. They know too much, the can tell when you aren’t 100% honest, and they could revert you back to the child-like headspace with just a look. I’ve always felt the need to have myself look put together particularly around Jay. He’s always known what he’s wanted out of life. And he’s always known the best paths to get there. For me, I’d tried too many things out, failed at so many options. When I moved to Seoul, I promised that I would focus on being the adult little me would want to have been. I’m succeeding I think. I’m happy, content at least. There are things I have that I’m grateful that I’ve been able to achieve. For the most part, I’m living my best life, but there’s always one part of me that’s never completely satisfied. 

I pretend that I’m ok with it a lot. I pretend that I don’t think about him for a good part of my day. And I pretend that I’m not still a little in love with my best friend. Jay and I have always raised questions. No one really knows what to make of our relationship. On the outside looking in, I think it’s a bit more obvious than the two of us give ourselves credit for. There’s always been chemistry, an undeniable connection that has me wishing that there were a bit more going on. After he’d moved back to Seoul the second time, I’d given up my infatuation. He was so busy building his name back up while I was trying to move on with my own life. And it worked for a while, but then he’d become so much more than that shy talented kid I’d grown up with. He developed both mentally and physically into more of a man than I could have hoped for. At some point, while we lived on opposite sides of the world, the flame that had dwindled down to an ember, had been sparked again. He grew up. We both did. And somehow we’d reunited in South Korea. 

I grab a towel and hop in the shower. With Jay most likely sleeping over tonight, I’m expecting to fall asleep right on the couch. I won’t make it to my bed let alone the shower. It’s in the middle of me washing my hair that he decides to ring the doorbell. I wrap a towel around my midsection and open the door for him. 

“You didn’t even check if it was me,” he frowns making a beeline for my kitchen counter. He unloads all of the grocery bags he has, putting the ice cream in my freezer. He looks over at the abandoned lasagna and rolls his eyes at me. 

“Who else is going to be ringing my doorbell, thirty minutes after I get off the phone with you?”He trashed the lasagna and sticks a frozen pizza in my oven. He turns to look at me, his arms crossed over his chest and a frown still puckering his eyebrows. 

“I’m serious Y/n, you need to be careful,”

“I will,” I promise, drawing closer to him. He’s been working out a lot more than usual. He’s training with an MMA group that’s super into intense work out. It shows. His arms are thicker, his chest broader.

“I missed you too by the way,” I add, leaving him to stand in my kitchen. I’m pulling on underwear under my towel when he follows in a few second later.

 “If your way of showing you miss me is by answering the door naked, I think I’m missing out on a lot,” he bounces on my bed, picking up the magazine I have on my bedside table. It’s the cover shot of Bazaar that he did last month. 

“Are you going to sign that one for me so I can pay my bills,” I laugh. I’m still not used to the fact that he’s such a huge star now. If I was serious, I’m sure I could make tons of money off of the shit he leaves lying around every time he comes by. I turn my back to him, covering my chest so I can pull a t-shirt on and a pair of sweats. 

“Hey, is that a tattoo,” He eyes the dark ink on my shoulder blade like it’s somehow betrayed him. “I told you I’d go with you,”

I shrug. “You were busy. It’s fine. How was work?” I sit on the edge of my bed.

“Well, at least let me see it,” he says, ignoring my question. He moves so that he sits beside me. His fingers move toward the collar of the back of my shirt. He pulls the material down to get a good ink at the week-old tattoo. “Carpe Noctem,” a finger traces the cursive lettering on my back. “What does it mean?”I look up him. He’s so close. It’s moments like this that I’m reminded that the way I feel about him lies way beyond the boundaries that we’ve allowed ourselves. It would be so easy to lean in, to finally know what his mouth feels like. Instead I pull away, standing and crossing my room toward the door to put some distance between us. 

“It’s Latin for ‘seize the night’. I’m going to check on the food,”I leave him there staring at me while I go to look at the pizza. For some reason, my appetite has disappeared. All I have on my mind is how good his fingers felt against my skin. When he comes behind me while I bend over to pull our food out, I hold my breath, careful not to touch him. I stretch over the stove to turn the oven off to keep from looking at him. 

“Y/n,” he calls my name quietly from behind me. His hand rests on my hip lightly. I jerk away from him, startled by the warmth of his palm on me. He reaches over, taking the pizza cutter out of my hand. 

“Why didn’t you wait for me?” He asks. I can see how deeply he’s hurt by it. Tattoos are a little bit of a big deal in the Korean culture. It’s an experience he wanted to be there for.

 “It seems like I’m always waiting for you,” I tell him. “You have your life here, Jay. I can’t expect you to drop everything just for a tattoo,”

He frowns at me. His tongue comes out quickly to swipe over his bottom lip. He looks too good, too attractive to just be Jay. He’d surpassed the average quota of beauty a few years back, now it’s just criminal. Even now while we’re just talking, I can’t help but think about him touching me. 

“You know it’s not just a tattoo, y/n. I promised I’d take you,”

“Months ago,” I laugh quietly. I cross my arms over my chest as a small barrier between us. “Honestly, Jay. It’s ok. I understand that you don’t just belong to me anymore,”

His lips pull into a sad smile, the frown slightly still in place. “I know you’re trying to make me feel better but it’s not really working,”

“What do you want me to say? You’re on your own path. As much as I love it when we get to spend time with each other like this, we’re both adults. I can’t rely on you to hold my hand through the city,”He sighs and moves to lean against the counter besides me. “I’m doing a shitty job in filling my best friend duties,”

I laugh loudly, looking up at him. “What, are you five? I’m fine. I promise. I’m even making friends, Jay,”

“Still not making me feel better,” he groans. “Actually that’s worse. What if you meet some other guy who can pick up your favorite ice cream whenever you want?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I tell him. I lean my head against his shoulder. “He won’t be your dorky ass,”

He’s quiet for a long time. “I think about that a lot you know,” he finally says softly. “I’m always so scared when I call you, one day you’ll tell me I can’t come over because there’s someone else here doing all the things I’m supposed to be doing,”It’s the first time he’s ever hinted at being jealous of any other guys. Jay has always gotten along with people I’ve dated in the past. Granted, he hasn’t really been around to really get to know any of them. 

“Where is this coming from?” I ask, looking up at him. His eyes are soft, his lips glistening like he’d just licked them recently. I’ve never wanted to kiss him more than I do right now. He grabs my hand, pulling me so that I stand directly in front of him. 

“I’m always thinking about you, y/n,” he tells me. “Even when I shouldn’t be. Even when I’m with someone else. Lately it seems like the longer I am away from you, the more I miss you, the more I imagine what it would be like,” he trails off not finishing his thought. I step closer to him, emboldened by the heat in his eyes. My chest presses against his. 

“What do you think about?”His eyebrow ticks up and his lips pull into a smile. How he goes from soft and sweet to arrogant, is beyond even my understanding. His hand reaches down to cup my neck, drawing me closer. His breath fans over my face. “I think about kissing you,” he leans in so that his lips brush against my jaw. 

“I think about touching you, but most times I just think about being with you. Getting to hold you like you’re mine,”

I can’t hold back the sigh that escapes my lips when his mouth travels down my neck. He’s barely touching me aside from his fingers softly cradling my neck. This is everything I’ve wanted. It’s everything I’ve denied myself to think about since I was sixteen. And it’s happening in the middle of my kitchen like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Jay is far from normal. He’d left my little world of ordinary years ago, but right while he touches me like there’s nothing else he’d rather be doing, it’s like he’s back with me. It’s like I don’t have to try just to get a minute of his time. But how long will it last? Tomorrow he’ll still be Jay Park. He’ll still have the same responsibilities that kept him away all this time. We’re holding on tight to the thinning threads of our friendship as it is now, any more than this would decimate.

 I pull away. My arms cross between us as I look down at the tiles under my bare feet. “You should go,”

“Y/n,”

“We’re not doing this. If you think you’re going to just come in here and say all the right shit just because you didn’t have enough time to find someone to fill your bed,” I trail off not able to finish. Everything else gets stuck in my throat, choked off by emotion. I could lose him. Everything I’ve been holding onto just to keep him in my life would come to a screeching halt the minute this went wrong. I’m not willing to risk it just because our bodies want more than our hearts are capable of giving. 

“Y/n, you know it’s not like that,”

“Well then what is it, Jay. Why now?”

“Look at me,” I immediately meet his eyes. I’ve always been able to tell when he’s keeping stuff from me. For one, Jay has never been one to lie. He’s too blunt, too straightforward to see the point in not telling the truth. When it comes down to it, I trust his eyes more than anything else in the world.  Right now there’s nothing but sincerity. I have no choice but  to believe him. His hands come out and settle on each hip. 

“I’m obsessed with you, Y/n. I have been since I was fifteen years old. I’m tired of trying to think of reasons why we shouldn’t,” 

“It’s going to ruin our friendship,” I whisper. 

“Good,” 

The single word is followed by the sound of his lips crashing against mine. I’ve written about what it would be like to kiss Jay a dozen different times when I was a kid. I’d thought about what his arms would feel like wrapped around my waist. I’ve wanted to touch his body like it belongs to me years after he’d stopped being that kid who teased me every chance he got. 

His tongue swipes against my bottom lip. It’s too much and not enough all at once. My hands grip at formerly coifed hair, pulling my fingers through the ends. 

“More,” I moan against his mouth. His hands grip at my ass, pulling me right against him. When we’re so close together that there’s nowhere else to go, he grips my thighs and hoists me against his waist. Turning, he sets me down on my kitchen counter. All without breaking his mouth away. His hands tunnel through my hair like he’s holding me still so he can taste me exactly how he wants. I lock my legs around his waist, pulling him tight against my body. 

This is the kind of kiss that starts wars. This is the reason Helen of Troy is so popular. She held so much power, enough to take down nations. That’s kind of how I feel; like I’m conquering ancient Rome, and Greece, and all the Spanish and French territories. I feel like I’m flying. I feel like I’ve won. And it’s all because of the man in front of me. 

“Jay,” he tilts my head back so that he can get to my neck. His teeth graze over my skin, followed by his tongue. He sucks at my skin, alternating between harder and softer pulls. As good as this feels, I want more. I’ve waited so long. 

“Jay,” I say again. I move my hips, grinding against him. 

“Tell me what you want, baby,”

“Touch me,” I say. “I need you,”

He curses quietly. His lips come back to mine and it’s softer like he’s trying to hold himself back. He’s hesitating, something I don’t see him do too often. “There’s no going back from this in the morning, Y/n,” he moves my hair out of my face. 

“I know,” I tell him. I run my hands up his sides, lifting the white T-shirt with my movements. Each inch reveals more of his body. The tattoos, the muscle, the low slung jeans around his hips, it does nothing but spur me on. I graze my nails over his skin softly. Looking up at him, I reach down between the front of his boxers. Jay sucks in a sharp breathe the minute my skin touches his. He feels so soft, like silk almost. My hand works over him. Closing my eyes I imagine what it would be like for him to slide into me. And there’s nothing I want more right now. 

“You’re sure?” He asks quietly. His thumb grazes my cheek as he looks at me.

I don’t answer him, instead I reach into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. I open it up, grabbing the condom that I’m sure he keeps there for situations like these when he can’t stand the wait anymore. I hand it off to him. He looks at me for a long time, like he’s searching for a crack. He knows me more than anyone else in the world. He’d be able to tell if I’m not completely down for it. When his mouth comes back down on mine, I feel just how much he wants me too. His hands push at the band of my sweats pushing them off of my hips. I kick them to the floor,and wrap my legs back around his waist. My fingers push at his own sweats, taking his boxers down with them. I want to see him, to finally see what I’ve been coveting since as long as I could remember. He doesn’t let me. His mouth stays glued to my skin. If it’s not my lips, it’s my chin, my jaw, down my neck and back up. His fingers work over himself, securing the protection in place before one settles on my hip again. The other touches the junction of my thighs, pushing my legs further apart. He curls it around my legs as hips move forward. He slides slowly into me. A dragging that I feel down to my bones. I wrap my arms around his neck, drawing him closer. 

I’ve always liked sex. I’ve mostly had halfway decent experiences, but right now while he stands still hardly moving an inch, it’s clear that I’ve never felt like this before. I can blame it on the fact that I’m 100% comfortable with who I’m with. I can say that it’s because I know what this is, but the truth is I don’t. It’s about how I feel about Jay. The way he draws goosebumps to my skin, the soft way he holds my hip while he moves against me. It’s the way he drops his head to my shoulder, cursing through his clenched teeth. It’s the way that I already know his body. He’s holding back, I can feel it in the rigid way his muscles contract like they’re trying their best not to extend fully. But I want it all. I want him to grab me too roughly, to hold me too tightly, to show me the parts of him I’ve been dying to see. 

“Give me more, Jay,” I breathe against the side of his neck. “Don’t hold back,”

A hand slides behind me on the small of my back as to hold me in place. His hips pump faster drawing out a loud moan from my lips. I throw my head back against the cabinet door above me. This feels too good, it’s too potent. He squeezes at my bare thigh as his hips move against mine. 

“You feel amazing,” he tells me. I move with him, trying to get as close as possible. He leans back, looking down at where we connect. He shifts his hands to curl around my hip. His thumbs move down to rub against me. I call out his name, feeling my body react to how he moves against me. I feel myself tighten around him, and I can feel him seem to get harder. His hips slow against mine into a maddening languid pace until he pulls out. I’m about to protest, but he lifts my hips and places me back on my feet. He spins me quickly so that I’m bent over the counter., the air hitting my bare ass. He uses a foot to nudge my legs apart before falling back into me. A hand strokes from my hip down to my thigh. He grips it in his hand drawing it up against the counter. I’m begging now, for what I’m not sure. All I know is that this position is far more than I can handle. My bones and my skin feels like jelly. I’m not even holding myself up. The edge of the counter presses painfully into my stomach. Each time Jay’s hips hit me from behind, I slams against the counter. Still, I can’t get enough. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of this.

He whispers in my ear, how tight I am and how hard he’s going to cum. I already knew he had a dirty mouth, but I’m finding just how obscene he can be.

 “Cum for me,” he says. His voice has gone hoarse and deeper. His fingers reach around to stroke me while his hips move against me. I feel his mouth against my neck, sucking at my skin. 

It’s when he turns my head roughly to the side to take my lips again, while one of his hands  palms my breast under my t-shirt I feel myself start to quiver. When I finally give in, I’m shaking so hard, that Jay has to use his arms to keep me upright. He falls against me only a few seconds later, breathing heavily into my ear. I struggle to draw air into my lungs, still I can’t remember a time I’ve been this thoroughly fucked. Nor can I remember a time we’re I’ve been so completely satisfied. I’m sore and achy. There’s bound to be bruising on my hips, my ass, my stomach where the counter pressed painfully, but a part of me is eager for them to materialize if only because they’ll stay around longer than Jay will. 

He pulls out, taking care of the condom behind me. A few seconds later, a hand on my shoulder spins me around. His hair is a mess, sticking up in places where I’d pulled to hard. There’s a sly smile on his face that tells me nothings changed. He’s still my best friend who knows too much about me and gets on my nerves a little bit sometimes. He pulls his lip between his teeth, looking down at me. 

“You look terrible,” he says. 

I laugh, rolling my eyes at him. The more he looks at me, the more aware I become to the fact that I’m naked from the waist down. I move to slide past him but he grabs me. His hands grip my bare thighs, hoisting me up against his waist. The arrogance has disappeared. Now all that’s left is tenderness in its place.His hand smooths my hair away from my face. His thumb swipes across my bottom lip, pulling it down. He looks at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. Maybe it’s because he’s finally seeing me look at him the way I always have. I expected to feel different, to feel like I made some huge mistake that there’s no going back from.

“I can see you overthinking,” he smiles at me. “Don’t do that thing where you pull away from people when things get to heavy,”

I shake my head at him. “I’m just thinking about how I’ll disinfect this counter,”

He laughs pulling my lips back against his in a soft kiss. Don’t get used to it, I remind myself. I hardly see him as it is. I can’t imagine getting my hopes up and having it affect our relationship. He walks slowly, carrying me to my bedroom. He stops, gently sitting me in the middle of my mattress. 

“Don’t move,” he tells me before disappearing into my bathroom. I obey, using my elbows to hold me up while I wait.When he comes back, there’s a wet washcloth in his hand. He climbs in bed beside me. His hands push at my thighs to open. The hot clothes comes down on my skin as he gently wipes away any traces of what we’ve done. When he’s finished, he drapes the towel on my dresser and pulls out a draw. He pulls out a pair of cotton blue under and come back over again. Silently, he pulls them on leg by leg when my underwear is on, he dips his head to place a quick kiss on my stomach.

 He climbs up further into my bed, pulling the duvet back so he can lay. “Come here, y/n,”

I slide beside him into the waiting open space. When his arms come around me, I close my eyes. He’s warm, and soft, but he feels like man and sin and everything I shouldn’t be feeling right now. I feel his lips press against my forehead and for a little while I don’t think. I’m happy, I’m contented. I’m in the arms of my best friend, the safest place in the world. 

#jay park #RTF mini #mine #aomg #h1ghrmusic #RTF1

[dsudis]

writing meme

I was tagged by @silentwalrus1 approximately one internet lifetime ago.

+Where do you publish your work?

AO3 and also my own website (dira.ficlaundering.com) though I am beginning to think that... you know. Personal fic author archive-websites are a thing of the past and it’s not like I don’t keep local copies of everything in case the AO3 should up and disappear somehow, and also it looks... reasonably likely that the AO3 will not up and disappear anytime soon, so... maybe I will let the website go? idk. 

+What medium/application/etc. you use? 

Good old Microsoft Word, since I was dragged kicking and screaming to it from WordPerfect ten years ago. I trust The Cloud even less than I trust the AO3 to go on existing and also I do not actually want to share my actual working files in real time with absolutely anyone ever.

+Do you collaborate with others?

Nnnno. I am not good at relinquishing control over the story to anyone else--I mean, I will take someone else’s story and write fanfiction of it all day long, obviously, but sharing the actual story-making with someone else, no.

OTOH I love betas, and I more or less have to workshop an idea in chat--telling out the whole arc and sometimes individual scenes--before I can write it. Like, if you want to know what I’m going to write next the trick is to be in a chat room with me and ask a leading question and then make encouraging noises occasionally because BOY HOWDY DO I WANT TO TELL YOU AND HEAR WHETHER YOU THINK THAT WORKS.

+How much editing do you do before you publish?

It varies, depending on the story, how long it is, how many fucks I give about it by the time I’m done with it, etc. But I definitely like to have it betaed and go over the final story for proofreading type stuff. There have been stories I wrote that in the beta process wound up getting fairly massive rewrites--the middle story in the “Just Stay Alive” trilogy, “Seek Out the Hidden Places” is the one that springs to mind right now; I wrote that story, sent it to beta, and then realized that I had basically left out a huge amount of what the story should really be about, and rewrote a lot to make that work.

+Do you listen to music while you write?

I listen to music almost constantly--silence is slightly unnerving and makes every little other sound much more distracting, plus I have a bit of tinnitus so once I start noticing that I have to drown it out. (Thanks, ADHD, on probably both counts.) So, yes, I listen to music while I write, but it’s very very rare that I have any special playlist or anything relevant to the story itself--sometimes I’ll have some kind of RAR GET THE WORK DONE playlist for generally motivating myself to stay awake and on task, but that’s about it.

+How do you decide what to write about?

See above, re: workshopping ideas. I am a pretty much perpetual-motion idea generator, but I also have been doing this long enough to have some sense of how much of a hassle a story is going to be to write (in terms of how long it will be, how much thinking and planning and research it might require, how much shame I will feel about posting it, etc.) and how much I will love creating and posting it (how much of a target audience it has, how personally enchanting I find the idea) and kind of keep those things in proportion. One of the ways I gauge that is by, as I said above, basically workshopping the idea with friends and in chat--there are lots of ideas that I’ve talked out to the point where I can recognize that if I write it I’m committing to 200k, and back-burnered it until I forgot about it completely. 

(I rarely actually utterly fail to sell an idea to anyone, but there are definitely times when other people’s reactions make me reconsider how a story would need to work to survive outside my head. So that is also a factor.)

...Also once it gets past the idea stage and into the stable of WIPs, random number generators help a lot.

+When do you write?

Well, not damn much for the last week or so, and before that writing was my dayjob so I scheduled periods of fic-writing in between periods of original-romance-writing to break things up and avoid feeling too all-work-and-no-play about writing. Before that, I tended to sneak in writing at work and also write in the evenings, especially while chatting with my alpha/beta readers. So... could be pretty much anytime I’m in front of a computer, which is... most of my waking hours, most of the time.

+How often do you write?

Once again: not damn much lately because things have been a bit. wild. But prior to The Upheaval, pretty much five or six days a week (I would do five-ish days a week Going To Work to write, plus a semi-regular evening meetup one night on the weekend to sit in a coffeeshop and write with other writers). 

I always always wanted to be a professional writer, so I was reading writing-advice books of the variety written by working SF/Fantasy writers when I was 10 or 11 and internalized all their advice, which certainly included the “if you want to write, write every day” chestnut, and so I knew that and could have repeated it with great assurance of its validity anytime since I was in middle school, but it was only maybe five or six years ago that I actually seriously connected that to my own writing practice, particularly in the sense of--whether you feel inspired or not, whether you want to or not, get some words out as regularly as you can.

+Do you take requests?

Only after we reach friendship level 7. Or if I have specifically opened myself up for requests for some very specific reason like a charity auction or something, and even then I will reserve the right to be really wary of your requests.

+Is there a genre or type of story you want to write but are hesitant to?

I avoid writing historically-set stuff because I know Just Enough to know how much research I would want to do to Get Things Right and that is a rabbit hole I don’t need to send myself down when I have so many modern-set ideas where I can just roll with it and put down any goofs to “well it’s like that in the Marvel universe” or “well it’s like that in the universe where werewolves became widely known about fifteen years ago in a lengthy revelation that was traumatic in various ways for basically all werewolves alive at the time, especially the children and teens who had to deal with this happening but had no control over how it affected them.”

For instance.

+Any inspirational quotes, videos, tricks, articles, etc that help you stay motivated?

...Prescription amphetamines mostly? I have the ADHD, so “staying motivated” to do literally anything is a deeply questionable proposition. What works a lot better is to have a pretty reliable schedule where there is a time, or multiple times, in the day when it is Time To Work On The Thing. And if I’m particularly stuck, such that I arrive at Time To Work On The Thing and just go blank, that is usually time to show the most recent bit of the story to someone and talk with them about what I’m doing next, because actually talking about it with another person tends to jump-start my brain into focusing on the thing and working out what’s next and sometimes does in fact stir up enough enthusiasm to get me going without it having to be Time To Make The Donuts.

+Go to page 7 of your WIP, skip to the 7th line, and share 7 sentences:

I have lots of things in progress but only one that is more than 7 pages long where the seventh page isn’t in a chapter already posted, which I have also worked on this month, SO. From the Ace!Bitty epic, slightly more than seven very long and winding sentences:

“I thought he was asking because it was how he felt, and I was trying to be a... good teammate, a friend--I was older, I was trying to look out for him. So I kept saying, oh, that doesn't seem so weird, and I think everyone feels like that sometimes..." 

Bitty laughed, and Jack grinned and pressed on, watching Bitty's face to see if he was properly lightening the mood.  

"He wound up taking me to the ace spectrum group on campus--oh, hey, Bits, there's a group for this, when you get back to campus, I know I still see their flyers around all the time, because it reminds me of that time. They're really friendly, they didn't even get mad at me and Shitty for showing up and being idiots at each other and everyone else."  

Jack paused, considering what would be an added selling point for anyone else, and added cautiously, "I think the cake at the meetings is from the grocery store, though." 

"From the--!" Bitty looked horrified. "But--what if there are little frogs just figuring this out, and they--"  

Jack did not point out that, in this department, Bitty himself was the frog just figuring this out.

Annnnd lazytagging whoever wants to do the meme! Say I tagged you, it’s cool, you’re allowed! :D

#memery #writing #ace!bitty #wips

[taikoturtle]

Trimberly Short Fic

Based on the prompt:

“I borrowed your pen and it’s been 2 weeks and I still haven’t returned it because every time I talk to you, I am reminded of the massive fucking crush I have on you which always ends up leaving me speechless” AU courtesy of daeguarchives

read it on AO3

She knows it’s been long overdue and at this point she practically owns the damn thing, but Trini can’t seem to bring herself to return the pink and silver ballpoint pen back to its rightful owner.

Twirling it skillfully in hand, the bland monotone voice of their history teacher - who Trini’s fairly certain is just a clone of Ben Stein - drones on in the background of her daydreams as images of Kimberly vividly flashes in her mind. Her sarcastic gibes, no holds barred attitude, and a smile so positively radiant that it can cure cancer (it’s a scientific fact) Kimberly is by all means everything that Trini didn’t even know she wanted in life.

And now she’s everything she needs.

Becoming Rangers together forged a bond that transcends mere friendship. Sure, there’s a deeper connection that comes with the powers, but it’s the experience that brought them together that makes everything carry such intense gravity.

And that’s why it caught Trini so off guard when she realized how much more Kimberly meant to her.

It was Zack who pointed it out one day when they were training together. He made some offhanded joke to her about how her Kimberly senses must be tingling, because Trini always knew exactly where the other girl was. She punched him in the shoulder, muttering how much of a dumbass he always is, but then it dawned on her.

Why did she always know where Kimberly was? Was it their bond going haywire? Was she always staring at her? Oh shit, was she being a lecherous creep?

Zack nudged her again and laughed, “Trini and Kimberly sitting in a tree–”

She pulled him into a headlock before suplexing him so hard that the other rangers halted their spars and gawked in stunned silence. Trini’s eyes made contact with Kimberly’s and Trini’s face suddenly felt hotter than the damn sun. Nobody paid it any mind, but from that day forward it was like a light bulb switched on and Trini couldn’t turn it off.

Having those kind of emotional epiphanies wreck her to the core because now she can’t stop thinking about it.

She’d pass by Kimberly in the hallways at school and suddenly she couldn’t speak. Words would die in her throat or she’d stumble clumsily across her sentences like a child in grade school.  Her normally calm and collected demeanor would shatter in seconds from the mere presence of one Kimberly Hart.

“Ugh, this is so stupid!” Trini breaks out of her reverie and glares at the little pink pen.

That’s it, today is the day.

Today is the day she gives the cursed thing back to Kimberly.

She’s been trying the past two weeks (two damn weeks!) but every time she tried to hand the pen off, her brain would just shut down.

Not anymore.

“I’m the Yellow Fucking Ranger, I don’t fear anything,” Trini mutters to herself as she gathers her belongings and hastily shoves them into her beat up backpack.  She’s taken on Putties, she’s taken on Goldar, she’s taken on Rita Repulsa. There’s not a single thing in this world that she can’t face and come out on top–

“Hey Trini, want to grab some food after school before we head down to the pit?”

Trini’s blood runs cold and it’s like her mind blacks out because the next thing she knows, she’s staring up into Kimberly’s deep, twinkling eyes and she can’t function.

Say something you idiot!

Her mind is screaming but her limbs refuse to respond appropriately, and for a good five seconds they’re both steeped in silence. Kimberly doesn’t seem to mind. Her gaze still focuses on Trini like it’s the most normal thing in the world, but she has no idea about the clamminess that’s overtaking the smaller girl’s hands or how her heartbeat sounds like stampeding wildebeests.

Trini doesn’t dare put words to the raging storm of emotions in her chest because then it makes it too real, makes it too scary. She’d never want to mess up the friendship she’s got going, so she figures hell, maybe there are some things in this world that she’s afraid of.

She can’t ever cross that line.

Her grip on the little pink pen tightens and she swallows thickly. “Yeah sure.”

//

Week three rolls around and the pen is now empty. Trini hadn’t even realized how much she used it day in and day out (though Zack noticed. Boy did he give her shit for that) but now she has nothing left to return. With no ink, it’s essentially useless, so there’s no point in returning it, right?

Trini spins the pen around on her desk like it’s in a game of spin the bottle and it ironically stops with the tip pointed at Kimberly. She chuckles darkly at the irony of it all, but with each passing day the ache in her chest grows stronger and there’s a good ninety percent chance that she’s going to implode from the pressure.

The fluttering feelings are getting harder to ignore, and the more she tries to dismiss them the further she keeps pushing Kimberly away.

But Kimberly keeps finding her. Everywhere.

On some days it’s like she’s suffocating, or at least what she imagines suffocating to feel like, and Trini has to escape to catch her breath. She hates feeling like a coward, but that’s all her body can do at this point. Words continue to fail her and she’s absolutely terrified that she might blurt out the worst.

So she runs.

But no matter where she hides - the library, the bathroom, a deserted hallway - Kimberly keeps popping up as if she has a Trini radar.

“Do you want to go early for some training?”

“Hey, let’s go shopping for some new workout clothes.”

“I’m hungry. Want to hit up the coffee shop for some donuts? I heard they have bacon glazed this week.”

They’re all harmless questions, but Trini knows that Kimberly’s testing the waters, that she’s searching for something deeper. There’s a layer of disquiet laced within her words, almost as if she knows what’s transpiring between them, but she never pushes beyond the surface and it scares her.

But then one day Kimberly corners her at her locker with no way out.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

Her eyebrows are scrunched and she’s biting her lips. The question in itself is harmless enough, but the uneasy mixture of hurt and concern makes Trini feel instantly guilty.

“I’m not.”

“Trini, you’ve barely spoken more than a few words to me today.”

Trini stares blankly into her locker and puts on her most stoic face possible but it’s barely masking the war waging within and she’s sure that her poorly constructed facade will crumble in due time.

“Kimberly, I’m fine. Everything’s okay.” She’s gripping the pink pen again, clutching it like it’s a buoy keeping her barely afloat amidst the sea of her conflict, but she still can’t bring herself to face her.

“You know, I can smell bullshit a mile away.” Kimberly inches closer until the hairs on Trini’s arm stand on end. “Especially when it’s yours.”

“What does that even mean?” Trini retorts indignantly as she pivots around with a fiery glare.

Bad mistake.

She severely miscalculated their proximity and now Kimberly’s all but five inches away from her face making Trini’s mental facilities shut down.

The way Kimberly’s hair cascades down and frames her face (when did her bob grow so long?) as she’s looking down into her eyes renders Trini breathless. Even the ugly fluorescent school lights on the ceiling form a backlit glow behind her head as if she were an angel descending from above to bless her with her beauty and Trini almost laughs because how ridiculous is that notion?

But none of that matters because she can’t fucking speak.

“I…I uh…”

Smooth. Real smooth. There’s thousands of words bouncing around in her mind like molecules on crack but she can’t seem to grab any of them to string into a coherent sentence. Her mouth gapes open like a fish out of water and she’s only vaguely aware of the mild heart attack happening in her chest, but then Kimberly’s eyebrow perks up and she snatches the pink pen out of Trini’s hand.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for this! Did you have it this whole time?”

Nodding dumbly, Trini gulps audibly and disregards the mild panic seizing her body. “I–yeah. It’s out of ink.”

Kimberly’s expression falls flat. “This is why you were dodging me?”

“No!” Trini blurts out forcefully. “Of course not! I just–”

She abruptly truncates her sentence. She reminds herself that she can’t cross that line. Not now, not ever. She can’t risk the possible fallout, the potential damage it can do to their team’s synergy, to their–

Kimberly grabs her arm and Trini barely has time to slam her locker shut before she’s being ushered away with gentle urgency.

“What’re you doing?”

Her demanding inquiry falls on deaf ears as the class bell rings and Trini knows she’s going to be late to class now. The hallways start to empty as Kimberly pulls the smaller girl into the bathroom.

“Kimberly, what’s going on–”

Her lips come crashing down on Trini’s with such force that the two of them stumble backwards into the wall and Trini’s only mildly aware of the dull throb at the back of her head because she’s far too focused on the softest pair of lips enveloping her own.

Kimberly’s pressing into her body and her hands pull Trini’s hips closer so that there’s no space between them and now Trini is breathless but for a very different reason.

A tiny whimper escapes her throat and she knows Kimberly won’t let hear the end of it because Angel Grove’s resident badass Trini whimpering? Never in a million years. But she doesn’t give a damn because her senses are firing on overload and she can’t get enough of it.

The way Kimberly’s hands rake up and down her back and waist, the way her heavy breathing and flushed cheeks screams how much she wants this too - every move Kimberly makes drives Trini closer to the edge of insanity and she doesn’t want it to end. She wants to exist in a vacuum where she can feel the pressure of Kimberly’s body on her’s and the inferno raging around them, but she knows it can’t last forever so she’s only faintly disappointed when Kimberly pulls back and pauses.

She rests her forehead against Trini’s, both of them chests heaving and with ragged breath, and Kimberly breaks into a tiny laugh ringing with pure happiness.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that.”

Trini looks up at her curiously, her brow furrowed. “You knew this whole time?”

Grinning sheepishly, Kimberly shakes her head. “Zack may have hinted at it.”

“Ugh, I’m going to kick his ass!” Trini growls, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

Kimberly presses a light kiss on Trini’s nose and her lips tug into a little smirk. “Don’t be too hard on him. He only mentioned it because, and I quote, ‘Trini is as assertive as a dead skunk when it comes to relationships.’”

“What the hell, Zack! That doesn’t even make sense!”

Trini groans as if it weren’t true, but Kimberly can’t wipe the soft smile off her face as she hugs the smaller girl closer. “You couldn’t even return my pen.”

“That’s not even remotely close to being the same thing and you know it,” Trini huffs in response. “Besides, I can be assertive.”

“Oh yeah?” Kimberly retorts, an edge of challenge in her voice. “Then why don’t you show me.”

#daeguarchives #trimberly #trini x kimberly #power rangers #power rangers 2017 #power rangers movie #kimberly hart #trini #myfanfic #trimberly fanfic #pink lemonade

[jacquclyn-blog]

hi my guys ! name’s honey, i’m 19 and i’m actively doing everything in my power to keep from going back to campus to get my books because that means classes are about to start and...yep, no thanx. anyways, i’ve been eyeing this bad boy and when i saw lizzie the loml got reopened i’d figure hell yeah, let’s do this thing, so here i am and honestly just accept that you’re never getting rid of me. beneath the cut is more on jackie, ofc, so feel free to hmu or just like this and i’ll come to you !! #buyrainbowonitunes

——— woah! wait, was that ELIZABETH OLSEN i just saw walking down mainstreet? no, of course not. that was just JACQUELYN VANCE. they’re TWENTY-SEVEN years old and identify as CISFEMALE. they have been in Alder Heights for TEN YEARS and work as a MAGAZINE EDITOR. i’ve heard they can be OBSTINATE and PEDANTIC on their bad days. but don’t be put off, because JACKIE can also be FERVENT and DISCERNING. no wonder people around here call them the AMARANTH.

born in los angeles, california, jackie grew up very comfortably; both parents are lawyers and during the clinton administration, jackie’s father served as the us ambassador of france. she was nine when they first moved, and was seventeen when her father’s run overseas was finished, and being back home was an interesting transition for her, since she felt like the odd man out considering she’d fallen in love with the french way of life, i guess? she didn’t really want to leave when the time came, but it wasn’t entirely up to her (her least favorite president is w. bush, 3 guesses why lmao) 

instead of going back to la, they moved to alder heights, since her father wanted to continue pursuing a career in government/politics, and it was much closer to dc than la was. her two younger sisters adjusted to life back home a lot easier than jackie did; she wound up completing the last little bit of high school online, since she’d had an accelerated course schedule overseas (she loved school) and would’ve rather been eaten by wolves than go back to public school tbh. she started classes at georgetown uni (rich parents lmao) at seventeen and for awhile, her major was in political science since she had every intention to follow in her father’s footsteps, he was her hero after all

and then somewhere along the line, she realized she didn’t really like political science, she liked having an opinion on and discussing politics, so she moved over into mass communications and her parents weren’t thrilled at all, they totally thought they were going to have a vance legacy and be able to start some family dream team thing and being the oldest, they expected her to be the one to fulfill this, and it definitely started a few fights but they eventually shut up about it just because arguing with her is arguing w a brick wall tbh — they are still slowly coming around, they’re not crazy about it but they still support her, things are Tense, fun times

so she graduated, went on and got her masters, blah blah, fast forward to where jackie finds the job of her dreams at an unnamed, v popular magazine (it’s unnamed bc i want it to be lmao, givE ME TIME but if you need a comparison, think cosmo) and she chased after it hard, like all she wanted to do was be a writer and after spending roughly two years as an assistant, she got promoted to a writer and she loved it, absolutely loved it. got to write about the things she was passionate about, loved the people she worked with, she was living the Dream 

and after a few years of just really, really enjoying her job her higher-ups were like “hey, we’re gonna promote you if you want” and in jackie’s mind she was like, hell yeah, more responsibility, more control, all the things she loves tbh and she took the job as the lifestyle department editor since it was broad and encompassed a lot of the stuff she’d enjoyed writing for and of course, Loved it...to a point

jackie is married to her job, and it’s highkey unhealthy tbh, she’s very very hard on herself and now that she’s moved up in the hierarchy of things she’s beginning to see what they ask of their employees and it’s not always stuff she agrees with? it’s a lot of pressure and she’s beginning to fall out of love with all of it in general, the writing, being responsible for stuff, etc and part of her is like fuck this, i’m over it but at the same time, she’s forcing herself to stick w it because she wants to prove to her parents she can too see their successes in the career path she chose

basically, she’s currently conflicted as hell when it comes to work and is currently a don’t ask, don’t tell type of situation

has begun doing freelance writing on the side?? she doesn’t post or share any of it since most of it is just her rambling and she’s not got that much time to dedicate to it as it is but it’s kinda keeping her sane in the moment and reminding her as to why she loves what she does

her label is the amaranth, one of my faves, which p much means that they’re hard to forget and leave an impression and that’s certainly jackie lmao, she’s got a very strong personality that makes it hard for you to confuse her w anyone else

y’all see the traits up there in that app....that’s Her. she’s the kinda person you want in your corner, not the person you want opposing you bc she will end you and show no mercy

is a sagittarius 

can sometimes let her emotions get the better of her??? she’s stubborn and gets conflicted very easily and that basically just leads to disaster, she’s great at making problems in her life that aren’t a big deal a Big Deal and what she wants, she’ll get it even if she’s got to step on toes or scream really, really loudly for someone to hear her; her parents taught her to never settle and settle she does not

also bilingual, speaks fluent english and french. usually only slips into french when she’s pissed so...beware

connections i’d love to see for jackie (but aren’t limited to, i just know it’ll be a hot second before i get a page up and running!):

best friend  —  self explanatory, obviously, but just give me someone who jackie can sit on the couch and drink wine with in her pajamas, someone who’s got her back if they go out to a bar, her go-to if she’s ever got a company thing and she needs a date last minute, someone who’s gonna butt heads with her when there’s a conflict in either of their lives but they still love one another no matter what *cue true friend by hannah montana in the distance*

sibling like relationship  —  another self explanatory one but jackie’s got a mad mom side to her, she’s v protective of the people she loves so give me someone that might as well be a long lost vance, they do dumb shit together, have each other’s backs, try (and fail) at matchmaking for the other, having a toothbrush with their name on it at their apartment, the works

summer flings!!!!! someone jackie met while she was on vacation or even off on a business thing and they like hooked up and she never in a million years would’ve expected to bump into them back in alder heights......except, she did

tbh just give me a friends-esque group of people for jackie where they all hang out and eat and act like their lives aren’t constantly falling apart, that’d be N*ce too

exesssss!!! the good, the bad, the inescapable, the ones with lingering feelings, the ones that swear they’re over but have a problem every time the other even looks like they’re about to go on a date w someone else, this is free range

college friend   —  basically someone that she met back when she was in college and was the first bit of american companionship that she’d had since she was like, nine?? like i said, she started classes at seventeen, and hadn’t really interacted with anyone since she did online schooling for her senior year; this could’ve been a roommate, someone she had a class with, someone that she met on campus and got coffee with, we can talk this one out obviously but you get the gist!

angst  —  idk what, idk how, i just live for it and i want it thanks

someone who lives near jackie and whether it’s really weird stuff like coming over to ask for some milk to put in their coffee since they’re out and forgot to buy some or they like hang out and have dinner together a few nights a week, switching off and stuff, i think this could be Fun

family friend  —  jackie’s parents are both lawyers and her dad’s been involved in politics for awhile so i can imagine jackie’s gone to her fair share of parties and whatnot, meeting clients and coworkers and all kinds of people so this would ideally be someone she met because their parents were acquaintances/friends; they could’ve met as kids, stayed in touch while jackie was overseas and resumed their friendship years later when the both of them found themselves back in dc, they could’ve met on the more recent end of things, they could totally understand the other’s pain and get along gr8 because someone finally gets it, they could lowkey hate each other bc their parents are rivals/ they’re trying to work through it...the possibilities are endless

and while i’m on the topic of past connections: jackie occasionally had to come back to the us and visit dc while her dad was serving as ambassador (aged 9-17) so if you’re interested, we can totally work something with that

a plot where they’re acquaintances at best, they’ve maybe got mutual friends and therefore they hang out a bit but they’re always arguing w one another for whatever fucking reason, they both probably annoy each other but they’ve got mad sexual tension going on?? maybe they act on it, maybe they don’t, but either way, they lowkey enjoy the bantering and being at one another’s throats even if they act otherwise

#「 •• 𝓗𝓔𝓡𝓞𝓘𝓝(𝓔) ; mun. #alderintro #this will not show up in the tags but Hoe well *throws confetti*

[3shaaamazng]

Reason for a Season

Since I’m like Lana Condor who write letters to all the boys she liked.. I realized I’ve been doing that here on my tumblr.. and idc if they get to read it. I think if it’ll even be better if they do because they can read what I thought about them. haha anyways..

This one is for hopefully the last guy I met from a dating app (for now since I’m quitting it and just gonna try the in-person mingling way since I actually meet more people in person anyway and my personality can)— and seem like none of people from dating apps worked for me. I’m not meant for it. I dont have time for games. I am more convinced that dating apps are not meant for me.

but hey..Just want to let you know that you’re the first one I ghosted that I had a connection with. HAHAHA! well, you kinda already did in a way, it’s just we ended up talking again. But this time, I decided to stop talking to you...

I just watched this movie called Exes Baggage. and the guy reminded me of you. I know you have baggages from your previous relatiionship. We all do..

but the guy really reminded me of you because he can’t decide what he realy wants to do yet..

but okay.. let me go back how I wanted to really start..

Mr. G,

I’m glad we met. Hope you were also glad to meet someone like me. For the past 3 months that we were talking, I was confused if you just wanted to be friends or more than that. I was going with the flow and see how things are. Because I haven’t talked to someone like you in a long time. Someone who I can text in essays and talk about things I like, I do, I feel,I experienced..etc. For me, talking to you was TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. Because it’s rare to find someone who can match my energy when it comes to my talkativeness.. I’ll miss that.. I do miss it now. Like what I said, I’ve been just this strong and independent woman. So things like that makes me weak. I dont’t know how to talk to guys... and so for me, talking to you was like “WOW FINALLY AGAIN A DECENT GUY I CAN TALK TO!” (Because back then it was P)

Anyways../

You were cool. You got to hang and chill with my friends.. You’re easy to get along with... and even made an effort to drive in the snow.. I appreciate it!

I was enjoying your company.. I like how finally after a long time, I have something to look forward to again.. But believe me, I was overthinking. I was already preparing myself that you’d break me at some point. I was looking for flaws, something I know you’ll mess up one day.. something you’ll do to disappoint me.. my friends told me to stop doing that to myself in every guy I get to talk to and just Enjoy the moment.. so I did. 

But when did things go wrong?

Idk.. you tell me... you got into a a fight in a party where I did my best to get you out of.. I took care of you.. I do not mind. I saw your embarassed and ashamed expression the next day that made me believe that whatever they were accusing you was not something you’d do by nature. We had our deep talk about relationships for the first time.. which I finally got to figure out why I met you.. because for some reason, God always make me meet broken hearted people.. so from there, I just feel like you’re just lost.. and I’d be here willing to help you since I’vebeen doing that to people anyway.. From our talk, I decided that I’ll stay as your friend and who knows maybe later on... things would be different. I asked myself, do I like you? Answer is I was interested because I had that connection with you. I enjoyed your company.. and also maybe yes, i was starting to like you. But At the same time I’m actually not sure about it. I’m in the middle. It takes some time for me to like someone.

Then.... one night, you failed to give me an update for our plans when I was expecting you to pull through.. I told you how to improve it.. You said you were willing too make it up.. but bruh... you did not even ask me if our plan that day was still going to happen... we also had our plans on another day (Tuesday) to watch a movie.. but still you did not even bother to hit me up and follow through about that..

and you responded to my text 2 days later and I felt like it was not even sincere.. I started to question if everything you told me were fake.. you said I’m awesome and you feel lukcy to have met someone like me who is supportive.. but what happened when I just confronted you with one thing?? if you were a friend or if you at least value me as a person.. you would have been able to show that.. you would have made more effort. But I guess that was me expecting more from you.. because I’m the type of person who always give andI don’t receive as much back... I wanted to change the tone of our conversation and let that go, so even if I should not talk to you anymore at that point, I went ahead and made it more friendly..but then.. you sent something flirty again that made me question.. what do you really want? What’s all these mind games? now youi’re playing with me?? shouldnt you already know what I feel about guys when I opened up to you? anyways.. I was already disappointed with that faking shii.. then you be playing mind games with me.. so that’s when I stopped.. Mixed Signals are UGLY. And i’ve gone through that. I don’t want to deal with it again so I stopped. You like the attention I give you, but you don’t want to do anything about it. Idk which direction we’re going if it’s just friendship or more than that cause honestly I was down for Friendship. I at least want you to be a friend and help you as a friend. But then, idk. I just started to feel that maybe you’re fake to me all this time. You’re all about talking but no actions. You’re a talker and not a doer...

I was like.. if you can’t be a friend to me (at least) and if you’re someone who I won’t date.. then you are  just another temporary person in my life.. they say we meet people for a reason and some are for a season. lol

But really what I want to say is that.. I hope you get to fully move on from your ex.. It takes time. I know you are trying to explore options right now.. meeting other girls, etc.. But what I truly believe that you should work on first is yourself.. loving yourself more. I know how painful it is to be betrayed by someone you love.. and going through a divorce is not an easy process.. it’s painful.. Don’t rush in falling for someone again. Like what you said, you do not know what to do with relationships yet. Don’t make a girl fall for you, lead them on if you are not sure yet, and eventually feel that you’re not ready to enter another relationship. You’ll just end up hurting her (the movie I watched was about this. You should watch it lol) but you get it? Make friends instead. But it’s okay to get to know someone, just be aware what you’re making her feel.

You are by yourself right now in a place where most of your family and close friends are far.. but maybe this can help you better to move on and shape yourself to be the better version of you.. someone better than who you were when you were with her.. Show to that b**tch how stupid she is for letting you go, for hurting you... But don’t just work on yourself to prove her wrong, work on yourself because it’s an investment for yourself in the long term.. because you have to love yourself first before you love others. 

Trust me, I’m so good at telling other peole what to do, but I, myself still in the process of working on that... working on loving muself more and work on my insecurities on my own so I am more prepared to enter a relationship later.

I wish you’ll find that girl who can take all those fears away.. I know you’re scared to love gain.. I know how that feels.. but hey at least you’re going out there and see the world.. see options..but love yourself first.

there’s this scene from the movie that I watched that hit me hard that I also want you to keep in mind.. 

this was the scene. **translating the tagalog stuff**

“Nix: I’m just scared to love again because I’ll get hurt again..

Pia: why you gotta be scared? I’m not belittling your feelings but I feel like the people who are scared to love again did not truly love in the first place.. because if you loved, you shouldn’t be scared to feel the pain again, you must endure it all so you can feel what love is again.. it should be like that because love overpowers pain”

That line hit me hard! Cause like you, i’m scared to love again. But Genno has been telling me the same thing Pia said. It’s just hearing that way made more sense.. soo

This year, I told myself i’ll mingle with people.. enjoy wthe moment. if someone approach me and he is decent... I’ll give it a try... but also I’m focus on working on myself..

Meeting you made me believe that decent guys are still out there because I really lost hope on that every now and then.. you showed how not all the time it’s girls who get cheated on.. that guys can love deeply too.. It gives me hope that my future someone is just there also learning for himself.. Like what Genno told me, you have added contribution to my experience and now I can level up.

I take this as a lesson.. yes i am still this hopeless romantic girl.. but I am more hopeful now. I’d do whatever just to feel kilig again.. just to feel what love is again.. but first I will work on being more confidnet in talking to people and stop being picky.. (but soooo hard) haha

I will also work on myself.

I know you’re not a bad guy, you’re a good guy.. just ended up being  or looking $hiity with your actions because you dont’ know what to do.. you were weak just cause I confronted you (well apparently Californians do not like confrontations sooo..) Anyways, I wish you the best... if ever you get to read this,that’s cool! Glad you made it here... If you ever want to catch up, I’d be down...

But I don’t know when I’ll ever see you again.. 

Thanks for stopping by in my life :)

#personalpost #GG #temporaryperson #reasonforaseason

[elliyoyo]

SlytherLin (Lin/Reader)

So, I’ve gone over this twice and added some formatting and all that, so it’s better than when I first posted it! Still happy birthday to @sweaterkitty-fluff and still for @hamwriters write-a-thon day 3! Now I’m on track and my worldwide day will be posted later on! I’ll probably add onto this later, doing more years, so don’t think this is the end to my Harry Potter!Verse madness.

Warnings: My shitty knowledge of Harry Potter after all these years, blood mention, suicide mention, Slytherin!Lin and Hufflepuff!Reader.

Words: 1973

Year One 

“Don’t test me, Ramos! You know I can do it!” A voice shouts, startling you, drawing your attention from your book to the commotion. This was a library- were they trying to get point drawn from their house? Hopefully it wasn’t Hufflepuff. You guys finally had a shot at winning house cup.

“I’m not testing you. And dammit, Lin, quiet down- we’re in the library!” Another voice whisper-shouts back, the sound of one slapping the other echoing off the walls. They both laughed and walked towards you, not realizing it, most likely going to the potions section to study for the oh-so-impossible class. You brush off the familiarity of the name and pick up your quill again, continuing to read the textbook then take notes. The two boys, who you barely caught a glimpse of, walk past the table you’re sitting at, indeed going to the potions section. One was covered in freckles and had dark curly hair framing his face, while the other had a clear, rather pale face with his dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. You feel as if you’d met the pair before, but it is quickly confirmed that you have.

“Um… (Y/N)? Your name is (Y/N), right?” The one you believe to be Lin asks from behind you. You turn around and nod, about to say something, but he cuts you off. “We have potions together. With Snape. I’m failing really bad and you have one of the highest grades in the class and I was wondering if you could tutor me.”

“Uh, yeah, I could. We’d have to find some time to get together daily, though. Maybe an hour or so before we’re supposed to go to the Grand Hall?”

“Yeah, that’d be good.” There was a slightly awkward pause after that until you realized you had no way to contact him.

“Oh! Do you have a phone? Or do you use owls?”

“I have a phone. My mom got me one the week before I boarded the train to get here and she’s too lazy to use owls and wait for them to get to where she sends them, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. Here.” You give him your phone so he can put his number in and you do the same for him, entering your contact name as (Y/N) from Potions before handing it back to him. He hands yours back and you smile at him. “Thanks. So… Talk to you about the whole thing later tonight?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll talk to you later. Hope I don’t distract you from your own studying.” You see a small smile creep up on his face as he puts his phone back in his robes’ pocket. He nods and looks over at “Ramos”, starting to walk off with a wave to you. You go back to studying, turning the page, reading over a section on why crushing the sopophorous was so important in the Draught of Living Death potion. When you begin to take notes, your phone buzzes with a message from SlytherLin. Wow. What a nerd.

“Hey! It’s Lin, from the library! Text me when you get a chance!”

“SlytherLin? Really? I’m starting to regret agreeing to this.”

“Aw, c’mon, you love me!”

“...You’re lucky I hate Snape yelling at people or I wouldn’t help you.”

“Love you too, (Y/N) from Potions <3”

Year 3

“So… Remind me why you didn’t try out for the quidditch team?” Lin elbows you, breaking your trance you had been in for a good fifteen minutes. The teacher had been talking about boggarts, but hell if you were paying attention- you already knew everything there was to know about them.

“Because I don’t like sports and nobody that was trying out liked me. Nobody would’ve cheered for me or been there for me anyway,” you say, frowning at him. He gasps dramatically and puts a hand over his heart.

“I would’ve been there! I would’ve cheered the fuck out of your games!”

“Mr. Miranda, language! Five points from Slytherin!” The professor raises an eyebrow at him, everyone turning to him with glares for interrupting the lesson.

“Shit…”

“Five more! That’s ten! Would you like to keep going?”

“...No sir…”

“Good. Now, the boggart will only reflect your dar…”

You drown him out right there, rolling your eyes. You never liked the Defense Against Dark Arts teacher. Actually, you never liked any of them, since they seemed to get replaced every year for some odd reason.

“Look, can we get through this lesson without getting any points deducted from my house? Plus, I’m kind of really excited to see what my boggart is, but also really worried, but like, good worried.” You twirl your quill around, laughing softly at how quick you’d forced that out, distracting yourself from thinking about it.

“Well, I mean, okay. I already know what mine is gonna be, haha…” He sighs and looks down, a grim look suddenly taking over. He had told you about his parents during a study session in your first year, and ever since, you two had been connected at the hip, doing everything together. People would make fun of you two for being friends yet complete opposite houses (not really, but everyone seemed to think Hufflepuff and Slytherin were sooo different), but you two didn’t care because it was one of the friendships in Hogwarts. You were pretty surprised no rumors of you two dating had been spread yet.

“Yeah… Remember, if it’s too much, the teacher can help you with it and you can go see Madam Pomfrey. I’ll go with you.” You put an encouraging hand on his arm and he reflects your soft smile.

“Gotcha, but I’m pretty sure you’ll need me more than I’ll need you, (Y/N). I can handle fear, but I’ve seen you around spiders and oh god, if a daddy long legs is scaring you, you’re fucked when the boggart shows you a huge ass spider!” He snickers and ruffles your hair.

“...Screw you, Lin.”

“When, where, and which position?” He smirks and narrows his eyes at you, knowing you hated when he joked like this.

“Cut it ouuuuttt, you know you’re like a brother to me.” ...He wasn’t. He was more. His cheeky smiles and love of proving people wrong had gotten to you and you had fallen for the boy who named himself Slytherlin on your phone. You brush it off and push him, almost knocking him off his seat.

“Okay! Time for the boggart! Get in a single file line, no pushing, shoving, or cutting!” The teacher shouts, making the kids scatter before forming a line as they said, you and Lin the third and fourth students to go.

The first two go without a problem, properly doing the spell and keeping themselves from locking up. Then it’s Lin’s turn. He grasps tightly onto his wand with his dominant hand, the other one flexing and shaking. Then all of a sudden he’s frozen, no shaking or flexing, just straight up frozen. You know the exact look in his eyes; a mixture of fear, shock, and heartbreak.

“...Jesus Christ…” He reaches out, dropping his wand, tears dripping down his cheeks before hitting the ground. The teacher immediately casts a spell and puts the boggart back in the box where it was before the lesson.

“Mr. Miranda, do you need a moment?”

Lin does nothing but nod, giving you a desperate, vulnerable look. You quickly run up to him and take his hand, leading him out of the room.

“Lin, what’d you see?”

“I can’t. (Y/N), I can’t tell you, fuckfuckfuck, I can’t.” He shakes his head, tightly holding onto your hand, slumping against the wall.

“I won’t judge you, I swear. I just want to know how to help you and it would really help me to help you if I knew.”

“No. Please stop asking… I can’t and won’t and that’s final and I’m sorry.”

“Okay. Well, um…” You look down, feeling like you’re just bothering him. “I’m gonna go back in and do mine, I guess. I’ll come out again when I’m done.” You walk back in the room, nodding at the teacher, saying you were ready to go. They let the boggart out if the box and you took a deep breath before opening your eyes.

Lin. It was Lin. Did this mean you were afraid of him? You raise your wand to say ‘Ridikkulus’, but before you can, Lin tilts his head and bursts out laughing.

“What? Can’t even cast a little spell? You’re just that useless?” He rolls his eyes, stepping closer to you. “Jackass. You think I actually ever liked your goddamn company? You must be a lot stupider than your grades reflect. Let me guess, you’re a daddy’s girl? You wanna get good grades and go back and try to make daddy happy? You’ll always be a disappointment to him, so why do you bother? You should just kill y—”

And then he was gone.

The boggart was put back in the box again and you collapsed to your knees, feeling sick. The teacher called for Lin, who peered in and then came running, seeing your state.

“Bring Ms. (Y/L/N) to Madam Pomfrey immediately. Don’t dilly dally,” the teacher ordered. Lin responded with a nod and helped you up, hating the empty yet shaken look in your eyes. You were more than a sisterly figure to him and it began to hurt him, so much that he asked you what you had asked him, thinking he wouldn’t get an answer.

“...What’d you see?” He puts a supportive hand on your arm, stopping in place, making you stop as well.

“Honestly? You. You were yelling at me and saying that you never liked me at all and that I should just k-kill… Fuck, that I should kill myself…” You let out a small sob and he pulls you into a tight hug, placing small kisses here and there on your head.

“You know I’d never say that and you know I love you and you know that it was just a dumbass boggart.”

“I do, no you don’t, and it was just… so real… hell, you know it seems real, you went before me. Hey, I told you what I saw, what’d you see?”

“Damnit, I guess I do have to. Fine, I saw you, too. But you were weak and bleeding and crying for help and saying it was my fault and you were just covered in cuts and blood and it scared the hell out of me, (Y/N).” He starts walking again, looking  back at you, hand taking your again.

“You’re afraid of me being hurt?” Your voice is extremely soft, not wanting to push his buttons. “That’s really sweet, but what’d you really see?”

“I’m not lying, (Y/N). Why would I lie? Hell, how would I make something like that up?” His eyebrows knit together in confusion. You just keep your mouth shut the rest of the way. When you’re right outside Pomfrey’s room, he stops you. You still say nothing, merely giving him an expectant looking, wishing to know what he wanted. He seems to debate something before slipping a hand in your hair, pulling your face towards his, kissing you softly. You close your eyes and lean up into it, tilting your head. It’s what you’d seen in movies and it seemed to be working well enough. He pulls back too soon for your likings and clears his throat.

“Have fun, (Y/N). Tell her I might stop by later.” He looks around for a moment before quickly walking off. You watch him until he turns a corner, then let out a breath you’d been holding since he’s stopped you.

Maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t lying about what he saw.

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