#her home screen is a picture she took of Moon Big

[hermitshell]

What if hermitcrafters had a cellphone? [Pearl edition] [Additional charms not included]

#pearlescentmoon #hermitcraft #hc9 #based it off a samsung galaxy 9 (also known as an s9 heh) #bec art #her home screen is a picture she took of Moon Big

[organ-market]

Bilingual Cinema: Language and Great Representation in Media

Everything Everywhere, All at Once, 2022

One of my favorite little things about living in such a diverse American city on the West Coast is the multitude of languages flowing in and out of my ears as I commute, people watch, or even sit idly in class. Elderly Asian ladies filling a bus with the sound of Vietnamese chatter or blaring music with lyrics woven in Spanish erupting from a truck zooming down the road. While I am only properly fluent in English, I’ve found beauty in the bilingual streets of my home town and am overjoyed to see this same beauty translated onto the big screen as the movies we produce more closely reflect the diverse cultures present throughout America. 

There appears to be a growing trend of bilingual movies which heavily feature multiple languages that are baked into the infrastructure of the dialogue. No singular language takes precedence over any other as languages, dialects, and accents all flow together naturally. Americans who previously incessantly whined about subtitles are now sitting in theaters reading subtitles in The Farewell and Everything Everywhere, All at Once which took home Best Picture at the Oscars earlier this year. These bilingual films continue to push the bar of representation as people of color begin to tell their own stories using their own languages.

Stephanie Hsu in Everything Everywhere All at Once, 2022

The Daniels’ 2022 Chinese-American absurdist amalgamation of wildly varying genres, Everything Everywhere All at Once proudly features English, Mandarin, and Cantonese. The film proudly introduces us to a realistic portrayal of an Asian-American family and coaxes us into their family dynamics and larger than life sci-fi story as the movie branches off into much more imaginative territory. 

To those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of watching it, (seriously if you haven’t, go see it) the film follows Evelyn, the mother of a Chinese-American family and the struggling laundromat business she runs with husband Waymond while she attempts to reconnect with her daughter Joy. As an exclusively English speaker so much of the nuance of the film’s use of language goes completely over my head but Youtuber Language & Film has uploaded a concise little video on the film’s clever use of language which I wholeheartedly recommend checking out. If anyone wants a more in depth analysis of language’s role in the film, I’ll put a link down below.

What I particularly love about Everything Everywhere All at Once is how unashamed it is of Evelyn’s immigrant narrative. While Evelyn appears at times to be somewhat insecure about her broken English, the film never once equates intelligence with fluency; a vicious mistake Hollywood frequently makes with stereotypical Asian characters. The reason why myself and so many others connected so deeply with the film is just how honest and grounded the portrayal of this family is. Not once does it flatten the characters to the archetypes we commonly see of Asian characters in media, they aren’t the model minority or even a completely cohesive family unit as divorce looms in the back of Waymond’s mind. Despite the business of life and the film itself you can feel the cluttered love of this family throughout its runtime and I was so glad to have been able to hear the mixture of different languages that just adds to the chaos of the household.

Past Lives, 2023

I left with a well of emotions brewing deep in my gut after finishing a viewing of Celine Song’s Korean-American romantic drama, Past Lives, earlier this week. Beautifully shot and written, the romance between two childhood friends is told throughout decades as Nora Moon and Hae Sung weave in and out of each other’s lives. A mix of Korean and English is used throughout the film as Nora becomes more fluent in English after she emigrates and Hae Sung speaks almost exclusively in Korean. Director Celine Song told Polygon “...she [Nora] sounds like a kid when she speaks Korean — because she emigrated when she was a kid, and she only really speaks to her parents in Korean. So it kind of made sense that she spoke Korean in a childlike way.”  Little details like this really flesh out the characters and make them seem real, the same language logic is applied to the whole cast as they each have varying levels of fluency in both Korean and English.

Similar to Everything Everywhere All at Once, the film’s bilingualism is informed by its distinct Asian diaspora and is told through the eyes of Nora Moon who moved to Canada at the age of 12 leaving Hae Sung along with her old name Na Young behind in South Korea. When Hae Sung visits Nora in New York much later in the film, after all those decades Nora notes that Hae Sung has all these “Korean views” on everything and that she somehow feels less Korean and at the same time more Korean while being with him all at the same time.

I felt very deeply connected to Nora in this moment, neither of my parents had ever imbued in me the cultural values of my heritage. I am Vietnamese on my mother’s side and Mexican on my father’s. I find myself feeling self consciously Viet around my Vietnamese friends and self consciously Mexican around my Mexican friends but throughout it all a strange Americanized shame persists within me since my parents have been thoroughly white washed. And although it was a small moment in a nearly 2 hour film, I still can’t stop thinking about that confusing, conflicting feeling Nora described regardless.

Los Espookys, 2019

The wonderfully idiosyncratic, beautifully queer Latino comedy show, Los Espookys has spoken dialogue in both Spanish and English and often goes back and forth between A plots in Spanish and B plots in English. Created by Ana Fabrega, Julio Torres, and Fred Armisen, the show itself is about a couple of friends who decide to follow their passions and start a “horror group” performing various oddball tasks with spooky theming. In one episode they manufacture a sea monster sighting to revive tourism in a coastal beach town, in another they create a monster mascot named Bibi’s to teach an elementary class a school lesson. It is simultaneously hysterical and charmingly strange almost constantly.

Los Espookys main cast of characters consists of proud queer goth Latinos, they’re aware their infatuation with horror is a little weird but they never shy away from that and honestly love that about themselves. The only part of their identities that the main characters have trouble with is getting others around them to accept that strangeness into their lives. The show’s original ambitions were to air on a Spanish-language cable channel but when presented to HBO Latino, the team was offered a chance to bring it to HBO’s main channel to a much wider audience and, like the show’s characters, the creators had to find a way for American audiences to let that strangeness into their living rooms. Dave Itzkoff writes in the NY Times that, “...he [Armisen] wanted to create a Spanish show “that isn’t an explanation of Latino culture, that’s moving past the foreignness of it.”” 

Watching the show itself really impacted me, not only did my lungs hurt from laughing but being able to laugh along with queer Latino goths who had similar queer experiences as me was a real empowering treat. What struck me most, besides the gags, was just how natural this representation was, there are seamless transitions from the English spoken parts in America or the embassy and the parts in the fictitious Latin American country the show is set in. No member of the cast is reduced to a simple trait based on sexual orientation, race, or any other archetype, there is so much personality and life present in each character. Renaldo for example, is aro ace, loves all things horror, hates when people misspell his name, and is incredibly passionate and caring about his friends. Nobody’s sexual orientation nor accents are the focus of any one joke or define them as individuals, it is an overwhelming uplifting show and the bilingual nature of it is just another proud part of the show’s hand crafted identity.

Sr. Bibi's from Los Espookys, 2019

What I really want to hone in on and celebrate about the appearance of bilingual media is how filled with pride these works are, how lovely it is that the media we consume is starting to better reflect the colors, languages, and cultures that populate the world around us. I really can’t recommend Everything Everywhere All at Once enough but I’m sure almost everyone online has already praised it to the moon. Be sure to catch Past Lives while it’s still in theaters because it is a real treat and one of the best movies so far this year. Los Espookys is a total sleeper hit that I fell in love with from episode 1, if I get at least one more person to watch that show I can die happy. I was tempted to lengthen this post with 2019’s Sound of Metal (which I am a little more critical of) which features American Sign Language but I think I’ll save it for a later post since this one is long enough. If anyone wants to recommend any bilingual pieces of fiction whether it be movies, tv, or even games please, by all means, let me know! I’d love to hear all of your recommendations and opinions, keep it real guys.

-Ghost Emoji 👻

Links and Stuff :P

Language & Film Youtube

Past Lives Polygon Article

NY Times Los Espookys Article

#organmart #om-ghostemoji #writing #personal essay #language #movies #film #movie recommendation #tv recommendations #eeaao #past lives #los espookys

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

SPOILER REVIEW FOR ACROSS THE SPIDER VERSE BELOW THE CUT

1000000/10, best movie, go see it immediately, Spider-Man my beloved 💖💖💖

- The Visuals

• Holy shit guys, this might be THE best animated movie ever created. They took the visuals and art styles from the first movie and cranked it up to 10,000!!

• Seeing all the Spider people in different art forms had my eyes glued to the movie, there were so many Easter eggs and nods to other popular Spiders, I know I didn’t see them all!

• The backgrounds were absolutely gorgeous! My personal favorite being the ones from Gwen’s universe, almost every shot had different colors in the background and it was just mesmerizing!

• They did a fantastic job distinguishing each universe from one other by using different color schemes and art styles, even when some of them looked similar, you could tell there was something different!

- The Characters

• They definitely go all in on character development in this film, they wanted to give everyone more character and personality and backstory. We’re missing a few of our Spider friends from the first film but they’re replaced with some new faces!

• Miles, the absolute GOAT, was such a great protagonist in this film. We spend a lot more time with his family this time around and they didn’t shy away from the slow and heavy moments. His mom even gets more of a role in this movie and she was great! He’s only 15 y/o in this movie and absolutely outsmarted every single other Spider at one point which was great to watch! There’s a plot point in the movie concerning Miles that will absolutely break your heart 😭

• Gwen gets a lot more screen time than in ITSV, she’s a stand out character in this movie! We get to see the relationship she has with her dad and get to go more in depth about how she lost her Peter! And I’m happy they didn’t rely too heavily on the romantic aspects between Gwen and Miles, but they touched on it and it was incredibly sweet!

• Miguel O’Hara my beloved!!! (I’m an Oscar Isaac stan, Moon Knight was the best Marvel tv show, fight me on it, lmao) I wouldn’t consider Spider-Man 2099 a villain, but he made a very good antagonist to Miles, he was very threatening! He didn’t get a very in-depth back story but you were given just enough information to sympathize with his pain. Something seemed fishy about his story, maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I’m hopeful they dive into it more in the sequel!

• SPIDER-PUNK, HOBIE BROWN OMG, what a fantastic new addition, he’s such a fucking anarchist and it’s great! He speaks in a thick cockney accent and I love his rebellious nature, he don’t give two shits about what anybody thinks! His character’s look might be the most impressive in the film, apparently it took animators 3 years to make him look the way he did!!

• Pavitr Prabhakar, baby boy, sunshine!! He’s a little cocky but in a cute way! His home of Mumbattan was SO GOD DAMN COLORFUL! I honestly wished he had more screen time because he was super funny and HIS HAIR, SO FLUFFY AND SOFT!!!

• Everyone’s favorite Peter B Parker makes a return! I can say he didn’t have as big of a role in the film as ITSV but he was still great regardless! And now he has a baby girl named Mayday!! And he kept trying to show everyone pictures of her like an actual new parent would lol.

• Jessica Drew is also a new character! She was super badass with her Spider Cycle! AND she was pregnant the whole movie which is even more badass! (Also, side note, when Gwen asked about her pregnancy, I really appreciated that Jess said that they she didn’t know the sex of the baby instead of saying gender, it was small but I liked that little detail!)

• Spot, the main villain of this movie (and the next) was interesting! If I had any real complaints about this movie, it would be that Spot was not in this movie as much as I hoped. I understand why because this is the first part of a 2-part movie, but by the end of the movie, he shows up and I was like “Oh yeah, Spot, where the hell has he been??” But he technically is a character we’ve seen before (I don’t wanna say who because it’s actually funny who he turns out to be!) He starts out being kind of goofy but he gets very threatening!

• There are bunch of other minor characters that I won’t go too deep into but my favorite minor character had to be Ben Riley, he was made to be super over dramatic and stated really obvious things while he was on patrol, got a few laughs out of me!

- The Plot

• Babes, the story is so good in this. I don’t want to give EVERYTHING away cuz I want y’all to see it for yourselves but I will say that this is a 2-parter! There is a “to be continued” at the end of the movie just so you’re prepared!

• The basic premise is that the Spiders have to take down Spot because he’s hopping to different dimensions, making himself more powerful. Spot has a personal grudge against Miles and wants to take away everything from him. You can tell from the trailers that Miles is trying to defy Miguel and what he’s doing, which ends up going in a very suspenseful direction! Again, not going to spoil everything, but it’s just such a great story!

• Like I said, they focus more heavily on family dynamics in the sequel which I loved! More time with Jeff and Rio which was nice to see, Rio has a great talk with Miles during the movie and it was so heartfelt! Gwen and her dad have a few scenes together too, it’s a really great relationship to watch unfold. Gwen and Miles have some great character moments together, but of course it’s not all positive!

• The dynamic between the different Spiders is a blast as well! I was never bored with this movie, it kept me engaged even during the non-action sequences because they did a great job making you care about these characters!

• This movie clocks in at almost 2 1/2 hours but I promise you, you’re not gonna feel that time. I did not want this movie to end! They throw so much at you but at the same time, you’re gonna leave wanting more!

• Where this movie ends is…wow!! I can say I definitely didn’t see it coming until a few seconds before they revealed what was going on, and I sat there and just went “oh…oh no…” for the last 10-15 minutes lol. And apparently the sequel will be out next year! And thank God cuz I could not wait another 3 years!

• A heads up! There aren’t any end credit scenes so you don’t have to stay for those! The only thing that happens after the initial credits is text appearing saying “Miles Morales will return in…” and it gives you the next movie title (won’t say what it is!)

- Miscellaneous (mostly Easter eggs and cameos)

• There were so many GOD DAMN Easter eggs in this film, it’s insane! I know I’ll have to watch it a few more times if I want to catch everything the put in here! There is def one cameo that stands out above everything else (I won’t say who, but you’ll know when you see him 😏)

• They actually showed very brief scenes from Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield’s movies which caught me completely by surprise, but I sure as shit was happy about it!!

• They don’t show any scenes from Tom Holland’s Spider-Man (which I understand cuz Marvel 🙄) BUT they make two references to it, one with a line from Miguel and with the cameo I mentioned previously!

• The Spectacular Spider-Man had a fucking voice line and I almost passed out, like I watched the shit out of that show, I was so happy he was included! They also showed the PS4/PS5 version of Spider-Man which I thought was pretty funny!

- Final Thoughts

• Peak cinema! The story, the characters, the visuals…all incredible! Go watch it right now immediately!!

#me #review #spider man #spider man spoilers #spider man across the spider verse #spider man across the spider verse spoilers #across the spider verse #across the spider verse spoilers #smatsv #smatsv spoilers #atsv #atsv spoilers #movie review

[mayangelswatchoveryou]

september 27th, 2022 - 

new moon in libra.

last year, my ex-boyfriend and i would walk to the 24/7 dunkin a half mile or so away from campus. sometimes after not sleeping, sometimes after sex or an argument, or just because it was familiar. i would always get an iced latte and he would always get a small strawberry coolata. the dunkin closed down for over a month in the spring. they redid everything. it looks very nice now. clean bathrooms and everything. it made me very sad.

tonight, i felt very contemplative. not angry or sad, but just like i needed to get out of my little room and clear my head. when i walked in, the lady at the 24/7 dunkin told me i looked like i had just walked off a movie set. i thought this was silly, because i knew very well i walked in with heavy purple undereyes (i have made a habit of only sleeping every other day) and two red spots on my nose. i was wearing the t-shirt of my favorite band that i have held onto since sixth grade and pants that clung to my hips even though i only bought them a couple months ago (i have also made a habit of eating every other day. heartbreak does silly things to the body). i wonder if she sensed it when i walked in. she didn’t tell me this out loud, but i could see on the little screen she put the senior discount on my iced latte. and she put so much whipped cream that it was spilling out of the top. i did not ask for whipped cream, but it was a sweet gesture nonetheless. the latte was 5.60 and i gave her a 10. i took the change from her hand and as soon as she turned her back, i put the rest in the tip jar and thought about it the whole walk home. 

this libra new moon has me feeling like a sword. i am learning new things about myself and my emotions. i have always been bursting with so much of it my whole life. i have always been told i was “too much” even when i was only a little girl. at times i have coped by being unapologetically loud. thirteen and high out of my mind and flirting with boys on snapchat in my bedroom. singing in the hallways. dyeing my hair emerald green. at times i have coped by seeing how small i can make myself until i disappear. seventeen quiet sobs in hidden spaces on campus. french exiting parties when i don’t like the song choice. too shaky to speak up in class. i have read the self-help articles and done therapy and considered medication. i have journals of manifestations on “getting better”, on being less me. do i have borderline or female hysteria? 

i am on a strange journey. i have always been a strange girl. when i think of the little me in pictures, i love her like a daughter, like she is my own precious thing. she saw death at an early age. i have experienced insurmountable grief, but i have many angels to guide me and i feel them around me all the time. when i think about what it means to “get better”, i’m not sure i like the idea. i am very sensitive. and i cry and i get jealous and i get angry and i get mean. i don’t want to be easily digestible. my big love cannot fit into little tiny capsules. i want someone to take me as i am and love me anyway, not because i always do the right thing. not because i am always good. but because they know i am a little vessel on earth with a lot of love going everywhere and that is very hard. 

when i have a falling out with someone i always wonder if i am secretly an evil demon and i just haven’t realized it yet. so i wait for something good or bad to happen to me to tell me if that’s true. the dunkin angel told me through her little act of kindness that i am not, i am just human (whether i like it or not) and i deserve kindness. even when i am not always kind myself. 

i feel very powerful tonight, like a sword, a symbol of power and strength. of purification. of protection. a sword of intellect. i am very sharp-tongued. i felt that tonight. i think of my angels gifting it to me. for they have brought me so much protection, and i have the strength now to protect myself. 

#journal

[thot-writes]

my dumb ass cannot write despite my soul wanting to..... so here’s some bnha fluff literally kill me

where the boys put your photos;

Eijiro Kirishima;

everywhere. he’s got a selfie of you both as his home screen, he’s got various framed pictures of you around his room, and he has a secret one tucked away under his pillow.

he’s so in love with you and he’s not ashamed to show it. he doesn’t brag (because that’s not manly) but he’s so cheerful every day even when you’re not with him.

all it takes is one look at your face and he’s having the best day ever. when you send him a good morning text, he’s over the moon.

you’re always on his mind, and he can’t help but talk about you even when the topic is something completely different. it annoys the hell out of most of the guys. the girls seem quite happy to hear about it, though.

should it be a crime to be this happy?

probably. the amount of death threats he’s gotten from bakugo has doubled ever since you two became official.

Shota Aizawa;

nowhere. he has no pictures of you and he doesn’t feel the need to get any.

or so you think.

you never go on his phone, nor do you regularly see him use it, so you don’t notice it.

but his lock screen is a picture of you, sound asleep, bathed in the morning sun. he woke up before you and thought you looked like the most beautiful woman in the world.

well, he always thinks that, but even more so that morning. he didn’t want to take his eyes off you for even a second.

he took a picture without really thinking of it, and while it didn’t fully capture your beauty it was a good approximation. he’s kept it as his lock screen ever since.

Hawks;

he’s one of those annoying “look at my perfect girlfriend” types. you take selfies often, and he likes to take pictures of you doing random things.

oftentimes those pictures catch you at unflattering angles and you have to pester him to delete them.

he does, just to humour you, but then he recovers them afterwards. he doesn’t know what’s so bad about them, he always thinks you look great.

he has a framed photo of you giving him a piggyback on his desk. one of your mutual friends took the photo (while complaining about being the third wheel) and he fell in love with it.

it’s a very sweet, innocent picture that fills his heart with sappy feelings whenever he looks at it. which is a lot.

Dabi;

you guys have a lot of, shall we say... unsavoury pictures of each other. mostly of dabi, to be honest. he makes the best expressions so you like to capture them.

wholesome ones are a bit harder to find, but they exist.

he doesn’t make a big show about them, so you likely won’t catch him fawning over your selfies anytime soon.

he’s very stealthy about his attachment to you. it’s unsettling how much he’s in love with you, he doesn’t know what to do with feelings.

sometimes a flutter of a thought will enter his mind— “Maybe I should just leave and start a life with her”— but as quickly as it comes up, he banishes it.

in his contacts he has a picture of you, and your name is “the girlfriend”, which is far nicer than any other contact name he has in his phone.

he always gets a smile on his face when you call him.

Shoto Todoroki;

they’re in his gallery, because that’s where pictures go when you take them. he’s never even looked at them, because you’re normally the one who does it.

he’s incredibly, painfully dense about matters of the heart. you think it’s the cutest thing ever, so you don’t mind it.

one day before class, Mina sees him using his phone and asks him why he doesn’t have any pictures of you.

she explains in detail that couples normally have their phone screen set to a picture of their partner. he’s shocked and appalled that he had no idea, and asks her for help.

for the first time, he looks at the pictures you’ve taken of you both. it doesn’t show on his face, but he loves them all. Mina picks one out to set as the screen, but Shoto ends up being unable to decide and puts them all on a slideshow.

even the blurry pictures you took by mistake with the front camera instead of the back.

he doesn’t understand when Mina explains those aren’t good photos. they have you in them, so that makes them perfect.

Katsuki Bakugo;

NOWHERE, STOP ASKING! he doesn’t have any pictures of you and he definitely doesn’t take any when you’re not looking so SHUT UP.

and when you take pictures he’s always insulting them. “What kind of stupid face are you making there, huh?” “That’s embarrassing, you seriously like this crap?” “Gross.”

always asks you to send them to him, though. just so he can use them as examples of how not to take pictures— not because he likes them! because he doesn’t!

he has them all tucked away in a code-locked folder titled “TOP SECRET DON’T OPEN OR I’LL KILL YOU”. he goes through them every night before bed.

he gets immensely flustered if anyone walks in on him doing his nightly routine and spouts insults at the top of his lungs until they leave.

does not go to bed until he’s looked at and appreciated every single one. sometimes a genuine smile will slip through his tough facade. not that he’ll ever tell you, though.

#my posts #bnha x reader #bnha headcanons #bnha fluff #mha x reader #mha fluff #bakugo katsuki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #dabi x reader #hawks x reader #reader insert #reader input #shota aizawa x reader #kirishima eijiro x reader #reblogs

[alwaysxyou]

hello i am home from vegas and finally wrapping my head around harrys first show so here’s some highlights!!!!!!!

we saw them waxing the floors before harry came on and i out loud went “oh this is gonna be good” and i was correct

the gasp from half the crowd when im coming out started during pre show

there were so many bi flags!! big ones!! rainbow ones too, in very clear eyeshot of harry, draped over railings. there were more rainbows than pictures are showing. we were close to the stage and saw lots of people had little ones. lots of rainbow boas too 

harry’s SMILE WHEN HE GOT ON STAGE!! he popped out of the floor and half the crowd didn’t realize he was there and then the screams were deafening and he LIT UP

he very purposefully lowered his voice when doing the lyric change in golden. we didn’t catch what it was live and that’s why it’s not 100% clear in videos

during she, he nodded to the crowd and looked around to make sure we sang “he plays pretend” louder with him

the fucking gasp from the crowd when two ghosts went into falling

he made sure everyone sung along to lights up and sang it with his whole fucking chest

a pride flag was tossed onstage during canyon moon. he turned and saw it as it was being thrown and it landed mostly on stage with some a bit hanging off. he SPRINTED to it and picked it up and moved it further on stage so it wouldn’t fall off. during the rest of the song he looked down anytime he walked by to make sure he didn’t kick or step on it 

he picked it up during tpwk and looked so happy and full of energy!! a second flag was tossed onstage and he grabbed that one too and was so dancey prancey

i took a video of tpwk and i was standing still but when he picked up the pride flag the place went so nuts my camera was shaking and the entire place with physically moving

anytime he talked to the crowd about how excited and grateful he was to be back on stage he got choked up and started crying, it was visible on the screens

it was so fucking hot in the arena oh my god it was 100°F+/38°C outside and you could fucking feel it whenever harry stopped to talk and the screens focused on his face you could see the sweat DRIPPING off his face and chest homeboi was MOIST

he seemed SO HAPPY to be on stage and dancing around he was glowing (not including the sweat)

give him fringe every time he was having a fucking blast

he vibed with the band so well 

oh also mitch almost never left sarah’s side and was always looking over at her to check on her. he moved around but was basically circling her stand. during his she solo he walked to the end of the runway and sarah never took her eyes off him and she didnt miss a fucking beat it was insane

during encore when the band came back before harry they started hyping the crowd up they were so invested in the crowd it was really fun

harry and the entire arena went HARD to kiwi like the place was going nuts (i went so hard and screamed so much and got so warm that kiwi ended and i legit almost threw up)

he did not want to leave he kept dancing around and sprinting around the stage

also he for sure underestimated the size of the stage and how much running he was going to do but he was so excited about having so much space to dance around

his mic cord got caught on a stand at one point and his face when he was trying to pull it was so cute

he had a bunch of mic stands and one time he took a mic and moved it and forgot, so he went to go back right before he had to sing and there wasnt a mic and he had to BOOK IT across stage to get to another mic

he had bottles of water set aside for drenching the crowd

at points he looked a little nervous but for sure like first time back on stage jitters and then the crowd would amp up and he would smile so big

i for sure think more songs will be added during the run since the set was a little short, but i think they were trying to get a feel for how it’d be on stage again and with that stage setup, plus how crowds are going to be since things look a little different

after harry left the band had a little moment when they got to hype up the crowd and jam out it was a BLAST

im forgetting a lot for sure so ill add more if i remember but he was having so much fun and looked so so fucking happy to be back on stage

#you could really tell like #he had been waiting for this even more than we have #he looked like himself again he looked so happy and comfortable to be back on stage #and like he had been counting down the seconds #it was an honor to get to see him dance again #harry styles #my post #love on tour my show 1

[buck-nialled]

3:1 - B. Barnes Imagine

NOTE: this is my first time writing for bucky or sebastian stan in general so feedback is appreciated! please let me know if you like this and if you'd like to see more. THIS DOES CONTAIN SMUTTY UNDERTONES TOWARDS THE END, MINORS DNI

TAGLIST: I just added sebastian stan/characters to my taglist form so if you already filled it out before just message me and I'll add you to this one.

three times bucky was clueless with technology and the one time he used it right

Despite spending most of his less-than-average life inside of a giant freezer and aging up to triple digits—if we’re speaking technically, your boyfriend still gained many physical benefits compared to most men his age. For one thing, he is still alive and breathing—a huge accomplishment, if anything, maybe even a record. The physical appearance and athletic ability he still maintained were not a downside either. As far as anybody is concerned, James Buchanan Barnes appears like any other millennial/super-soldier/metal arm-bearing person.

With exception to the fact that the man himself can’t even call you on your phone without needing assistance. That sentence is way less sad when taking into account that he was not alive for the upbringing of touch screens and AI’s, which happened to be waiting everywhere around the complex to aid him and his various, enigmatic asks, such as:

“My phone died. How do I revive it?”

“What did I win a free iPad for?”

“Friday, what does the word ‘bih’ mean?”

Once speaking the last one, he is left unanswered, and Friday is alerting you in the living area moments later.

“Y/N, Mr. Barnes is needing your assistance with a text you sent. He would like a definition of the word ‘bih’ but I cannot find it in my dictionary.” The AI asking for your help in babysitting Bucky on his phone earns a snort from you.

“Thanks, Friday. I’ll go help him.” You heave yourself up from the couch cushion and march towards his bedroom--technically, it is both of yours now. After reaching the entrance, a smile crawls onto your lips at the sight before you. The hefty Miriam-Webster English dictionary splayed open on your lover’s lap as he flips through pages, reciting miscellaneous words his eyes land on in search of the one from your message.

“Big, bin, bio…” Seconds later, he is slamming the book shut and tossing it aside. A loud thud resounds across the room as you watch it land on the hardwood floor. When you glance back up to announce your presence to Bucky, you see his gaze already transfixed on you. A quiet huff comes from him, and his eyes avert from your figure in the doorway, his cheeks becoming tinged with an opaque red. It was no puzzle that the sergeant despised calling for help, even on the minuscule tasks, like how to turn the flash of his camera off or define a slang term unbeknownst to him until your message was delivered to his phone.

“A little birdy told me you needed help.” You cross your arms over your chest, leaning against the doorframe with a satisfied smirk. You were one of the few and trusted Bucky had learned to open up to in the time that you have come to know him. No matter the issue, or how long it took for you to wear down the stubbornness on his tongue, the plea would sound eventually.

“I just don’t know what this word means.” He grunts. “Is it a typo?”

A line of giggles fall from you at his hopelessly confused expression--eyebrows furrowed, pupils appearing lost in thought at this simple “code word” he couldn’t crack. It made you want to swaddle him in the softest blanket and cuddle him until eternity.

“That’s because it’s not a real word,” you begin through laughs. The scrunch on his face only deepens in its perplexity. “‘Bih’ is short for...it’s short for bitch.” You shrug. His mouth parts in revelation.

“So you...you think I’m a…” he turns his eyes down to the pixelated string of messages…”thick female dog?” You snicker.

“‘Thick bih’ is a compliment, Buck. It just means I like your body a lot.”

“Oh...thank you?” He casts his eyes up at you once more, quirking a brow.

“You’re welcome.”

“Anyways...now that you’re here. I emailed you a photo.” He shoots a wink in your direction. Almost as though you two had traded faces, the confused look transferred over to your wrinkled forehead and tilted head.

“Oh...okay. I’ll check it later.”

You thought nothing of it, and let his statement slip your mind. It was not until later that you decided to scan through your emails with Wanda, who mentioned something mission-related in your inbox that she demanded the two of you look at and study. As you skimmed through to find it, you deleted several junk emails and starred some important ones. When you landed on the electronic mail your boyfriend mentioned earlier and clicked on it, your breath left you at the large photo of his considerably-sized girth.

“Woah! Woah!” Wanda squeals, reaching her hand up to shield her eyes now tainted with the sight of your man’s junk. The early afternoon comes back into your mind, with you against the doorframe, Bucky throwing the dictionary and demanding a translation of your text, and the wink he threw at you.

Of course, the wink. It should have been obvious what the intentions behind his email were at that point, but then again it really shouldn’t have. Because who sends nude photos over email?

“Oh my god,” you breathe out, now wearing red cheeks. You turn to face Wanda who is already out of her seat and facing away from the computer screen, calling back to you in a desperate scurry to her room, “We’ll just talk later!”

“Bucky,” you enter the bedroom with a growl minutes later, a rather great contrast to what you were feeling earlier in the day.

“Hey, doll. Did you ever open my email?” He was seated on the edge of the bed, eyeing something on his phone. He quickly pockets it, allowing you his undivided attention.

“Yeah, and Wanda had something to say about it too.” The comment came out through gritted teeth, but he deciphered every word. His blue eyes enlarged, petrified.

“She was with you? Wh-why’d you let her see it?” He almost squeals in his fit of mortification. Serves him right, you think to yourself. He won’t have to face Wanda and apologize to her later.

“I didn’t know when you said “picture” earlier you meant a nude! Who sends a dick pic over email, Bucky?” Silence follows your outcry until his deep voice pipes up moments later.

“Is that not normal?” He is fiddling with his fingers, clenching his teeth in anticipation of your answer. Which is an expected:

“No.” The man in front of you turns feeble, wearing a humiliated face that turns your insides to mush. The twenty-plus minutes of lashing you were practicing in your head on your walk to the room disappeared as he turns his face down.

“I’m sorry, doll. You know...you know I’m not good with this stuff.” A sigh exits your lips as Bucky is approached by your consoling figure. You take a seat beside him on the bed and a comforting hand takes place on his metal shoulder, with you leaning your head down on the flesh one, closest to you.

“I know, Buck. Just warn a girl next time...with more than a wink.”

“In 1943 that was considered a warning.” The two of you chuckle.

“You know what, better yet...” your hands are flying to his pocket before he can stop them. He barely utters the question before you’re fingertips are tapping across the screen.

“Hey, what’re you--”

“You should really put a lock on this thing.” You chuckle. “A thumbprint, passcode...something.”

“You can do that?” His ludicrous question has you fighting a roll of your eyes. Shaking your head, you wait a few moments for the application to install on the device, and smile triumphantly when the neon yellow square pops up on his home screen. The white ghost in the middle of the icon stares back at him when you place the phone back in his hands.

“There you go.”

“What is this?” He clicks the app to find out for himself, only to be met with the options of logging in or creating an account.

“An app that’s appropriate for sending nudes.” Shivers trail down his spine from your whisper against the shell of his ear. He hums, admiring the screen for a few seconds and taking no further action to make an account.

“You need help, don’t you?”

“It’d be appreciated.”

Since that encounter, your significant other has learned the basics of social platforms and how to properly exploit each one for his needs. Ignoring the one week where he discovered Snapchat filters and send photos of himself in every single one nonstop, the most common one you two have grown to use is the messaging application. It was efficient and easy for him to understand.

Until he, much like when he used Snapchat, discovered something new. And that something new was emojis. After receiving a Snapchat notification from him, which could no doubt be holding either a photo of him with the dancing weiner or his actual one, he shot you a text message from across the compound.

did you see my chatsnap? 🌚

You chose to disregard the blatant, incorrect name and reply:

yes, buck. I get notifications

and WHY THE HELL DID YOU SEND THAT EMOJI??? 😫

what? it’s just a moon 🌚🌚🌚 see?

I can see it’s a moon Bucky. Why did you choose that one?

It’s nighttime. and I’m smiling. It fits.

It’s creepy is what it is

It’s just a moon! 🌚

STOP SENDING IT! 😖😖

fine.

🌝

🤦‍♀️ that’s not what I meant

it’s not my fault you’re scared of the moon, y/n 💅

You chose to change the subject then, no longer holding the desire to stare at the infamous “molester moon” or bucky’s new use of emojis in a sassy manner

please tell me the snap you sent isn’t of the dancing hot dog again

I could tell you that

but I’d be lying if I did.

🙄

🌝 I think this one's my favorite

The third time Bucky struggled with the new-age doodads surrounding him, his rage was at an all-time high. But his reaction is justifiable after discovering it was purely out of fear.

“Do you know what the weather’s gonna be like tomorrow?” He mumbles as the two of you were longing on the bed, his head resting comfortably in the crook of your neck and shoulder.

“Not sure, why?”

“Was thinkin’ we could go to that café. The one with the jukebox.” His head bounces with your body as you let out a few light laughs.

“Because it’s the one piece of technology you can actually use?” He pulls away from you defensively, a frown smeared on his face.

He whines out. “I am not that bad with technology?” You roll your eyes and reach for your phone on the bedside table, clicking the button on the side.

“Hey Siri, what’s the weather look like tomorrow?” You ask aloud, cueing Bucky to furrow his eyebrows.

“Let’s see...the weather tomorrow—“ you were unable to hear the rest of the AI’s sentence due to the sight of Bucky springing out of bed and tugging the set of sharpened knives from his pants.

“Whose there? Who the hell said that?”

“Bucky—“

“I think the complex may have been hacked. Come on, let’s go get Bruce o-or somebody.” He stutters out in a panic, tugging your body behind him in a protective manner. Siri was still activated on your phone, which was now lying on the bed.

“I’m not quite sure I understand—“

“Who the hell are you?!” He demands in a loud voice.

“Bucky, Bucky…” you rest your hands on both his shoulders, urging him to calm down. “It’s just my phone.” After the quick reassurance, he feels his shoulders slump.

“Oh...oh…I knew that.” He puts his knives away, following you as you crawled back into bed. Before fully getting beneath the covers, he sheathes himself of his trousers and top, leaving him only in a pair of boxers.

“Sure you did.” You reply.

“I did.” He insists, before covering both of you with your comforter. Before succumbing to a much-needed rest though, he reaches over and grabs a knife left on the floor, tucking it beneath his pillow.

Just in case.

The following morning, Bucky is no longer paranoid that the complex was hijacked and broken into. Rather, his mind was on a package he ordered online (AND ALL BY HIMSELF, a large victory if you ask him) that, according to the tracker, is one stop away. When you peeked your eyes open to admire him beneath the covers basking in the morning glow, his mischievous smile lit something warm inside you.

“What’s got you so smiley?” You yawn through languid blinks. He only responds with a shrug, aiming to keep the box a secret.

“Big day ahead, why don’t you go start us a shower. I’ll meet you there.” He smirks, blue eyes flashing with something cunning. At this point, you were even more curious.

“Big day? I thought we were just going for coffee?”

“When I’m with you, it’s always a big day.” His raspy voice is sly, metal hand even slyer as it glides up and down your hip.

“Alright Barnes, you win. See you in a minute.” You press your lips to his for a short few seconds and heave your body up from the bed to venture to the connected bathroom. As soon as you crack the door behind you, Bucky leaps from his spot in the sheets and nearly stumbles to the ground, his foot getting tangled in part of the bedding. He wastes no time scurrying to the front door, nearly nude and praying to God nobody would cross paths with him. Seeing the package laying on the doormat in all its glory--Bucky swore he heard angels singing hymns from above. Taking it into his grip and hustling back to his room took little-to-no time. When he slipped inside of the bathroom, he found you removing your hair from the messy knot you threw it up in the night prior, the rest of you bare.

He dropped his boxers and followed you inside the transparent cube, soon to become fogged with the warm steam and your panting breaths if he is lucky enough to pull another round from you.

Spoiler alert, he got lucky. Twice.

Whilst getting dressed, he halts your attempt at wiggling on a pair of leggings.

"I have a surprise for you." He says, waltzing over to the package he haphazardly threw on the bed in his eagerness to join you in the shower. The package lies in your hands seconds later, Bucky delivering you a nod as permission to tear it open. Once you do, your jaw unhinges at the packaging.

The small, pink sex toy stared back at you in all its glory. You could only muster a few blinks at it, wondering how your boyfriend managed to deliver this to himself all on his own yet still strains himself in trying to change his profile picture.

"Wha--how..." you are at a loss of words, to say the least. His piercing blue eyes grow dark at the sight of you holding his surprise.

"It's a big day today, because..." he snatches the packaged toy from you, beginning to open it, "you're gonna wear this out for me today. And I'm gonna control it." Your eyes grow big at his explanation before they dart to the now unpackaged vibrator.

"There's no remote." You point out, and gasp as Bucky holds up his phone for your eyes to see. The application which connects the controls of the vibrator to his phone stares back at you dauntingly.

"Figured I'd give this wifi-powered one a try. But, you know how I am with technology so...it may take awhile for me to get the hang of it," his tone is sultry as he mumbles, and it sends chills through you that directly target your privates. His eyes bore into yours, still holding that look of playfulness from earlier.

"Finish getting ready, doll. I'm ready to take this thing for a test drive."

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #Sebastian stan imagines #Sebastian stan imagine #Sebastian stan fluff #Sebastian stan smut #Sebastian stan angst #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x reader

[midgardianweasley]

The Wedding Series

It took me a while, but, i’ve finallyyy got part 2 of the series up<33 

Ring her up

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: with an ever growing feeling of love for her girlfriend, Y/N wants to take the next step, but, like every plan, she needs to carry out step number one.

Word Count: 2k

Message/ask if you want to join the taglist! 

Part one | Part two 

It had been four years since the day you and Natasha had started dating, four wonderful years. The team hadn’t let either of you forget about the night you both got together, how they all saw it coming and how they couldn’t believe you both hadn’t seen it sooner. Looking back, you weren’t so sure yourself, but you liked the story of how you became girlfriends, even if it was something straight out of a rom-com.

Over the course of four years, it only made you more and more certain that she was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Unlike the story that brought you both together, this wasn’t a big moment of realisation. It was in the little things. It was in the way she protected and cared for you. In the way she had always been the one to wipe your tears and in the way she’d laugh with you in the rain when you were happy.

The two of you had discussed many things over the years, now having moved out into your own apartment together, you were beginning to take big steps in your relationship so some conversations had arisen in the process. Marriage being one of them.

__________________________

You were both sitting in your living room, snuggled up together on the sofa, a blanket draped over the two of you as you watched ‘Friends’, though you weren’t really watching it.

“Take a picture, it lasts longer.” She whispered, not looking at you but with a knowing smirk on her face.

“Why would I when I have the real thing right in front of me?”

“Touché”

You briefly returned your attention back to the screen in front of you, watching a scene unfold where the main characters are running in and out of a wedding chapel in Vegas. Seeing them had sparked a thought in your head as you looked up adoringly at your girlfriend, never breaking your eyes away, even when she grabbed the remote and paused your programme to give you her full attention.

“Okay, what’s up?”

“Who says something has to be up? Maybe I just want to appreciate how pretty you are.” You gave her puppy eyes, but she knew better than to fall for that.

“I can practically feel the cogs turning in that head of yours. C’mon, you can tell me Detka.”

You quickly glanced between the television screen and her eyes, taking note of the curiosity lingering in her eyes, alongside some concern which made you admit defeat.

“I was just thinking, y’know, about us.”

“Right, is something wrong?” She took your hands in hers, the pad of her thumb gently stroking the back of them, silently encouraging you to continue.

“No! No, not at all. It was just watching this, it got me thinking, what are your thoughts on getting married?” She opened her mouth to speak, but you quickly cut her off before she could get a word out. “I don’t necessarily mean to me! Just generally! Well, it would be nice if it was me, but I don’t want to put any-”

“Babe, slow down, breathe.” She chuckled while you caught your breath, only continuing once you’d calmed yourself down from your ramble.

“First of all, I like the thought of getting married, I could see myself doing it. But, in terms of who I would marry, it would be you.”

“Really? You’re serious?”

“I’m serious. You’re it for me. There isn’t anyone else.”

You didn’t know why tears appeared in your eyes, it was a perfect answer, an answer most people dreamed of getting. Nonetheless, they built up, completely blurring your vision, even as they fell. Natasha was quick to wipe them away as they did, and despite you not being able to see much, it was near impossible to miss the love she held in her eyes as she looked at you.

“I love you.” You mumbled, placing your hand over the one that she held on your cheek.

“I love you more.” She placed her forehead against yours, eyes closed as she enjoyed the intimacy, you doing so too.

“Never.”

“Always.” She whispered before meeting your lips with a gentle, loving kiss.

That conversation was your most recent, it will have been months ago now. As time went on, the feeling inside of you only grew, and you became more certain with every moment shared between you both, that you want to marry this woman. You want to marry Natasha Romanoff.

_______________________

You didn’t know where to begin, so you did what first came to mind.

You called your best friend. Thankfully, Nat was currently out with Steve, picking up after him again. Though you’d usually be moody at the fact that she had to leave, this time you couldn’t help but try to encourage her to go, spiking her curiosity at your actions, but still leaving nonetheless, giving you the perfect opportunity to call and ask for help.

“Wanda, Wanda, help.” You immediately rambled as soon as she picked up the phone.

“Y/N? Everything okay?”

“Yes. Well, kinda, no, yes?”

“Right, thank you for clearing that up.” She let out a hearty laugh over the phone

“I want to propose.”

“To Natasha?”

“Who else?”

“I just wanted to clarify!” She exclaimed, a hint of defense in her tone.

Silence fell upon the phone call,

“Oh my- You want to marry Natasha.”

“Isn’t that what I just said?”

“We need to start making plans! What dress would you like? Ooh where should the venue be? I heard-”

“Wan’, is that not a bit too soon? I don’t even have an idea for a proposal or a ring or anything.”

One sound. One sound was all it took for you to know that you had no idea what you had just gotten yourself into as Wanda gasped, quickly hanging up before you could even ask what was wrong.

Taking a look at your phone, you saw an unread text from Wanda, sent only seconds ago.

Wan<3   ‘Get your shoes on, I’ll be over in 10. We’re going out.’                                               Delivered.

At least now you know where to start.

Okay, you’re still not sure, but at least someone does. ______________________________

It wasn’t long before Wanda had arrived at your house, dragged you outside and was now pulling you along beside her as she ran around like a hyper Golden Retriever, leading you in and out of different shops, all of which had one thing in common. They sold engagement rings.

You could’ve facepalmed the minute you realised the pattern, how did an engagement ring not occur to you in the first place? You decided not to dwell on it, you’d just kick yourself later on when you’re alone to save any embarrassment.

You hadn’t realised you’d zoned out until you felt a tug on your wrist, looking up to see the culprit, a huge grin on her face as she pointed to the shop in front of the two of you. It was so..shiny. There were silver necklaces, rings, bracelets, and watches. They all looked so pretty, how were you going to decide?

“Come on! We need to go in and have a look! I have a good feeling about this one!” She squealed, even though you could’ve sworn she said that the last two times. Either way, you flashed her a quick smile, nodding and walking in. If you had to search all day for the perfect ring, so be it. It’s what Natasha deserves.

There were rows upon rows of different rings, there must’ve been hundreds, if not thousands in the brightly lit room, allowing each and every one to have a sparkle. You smiled gently at each one, imagining how they would look on your girlfriend’s hand. How it would feel for her title to go from ‘girlfriend’ to ‘Fiancé’, relying on the hope that she says yes.

A couple of minutes went by before something caught your attention. Turning your head to the left, you see one particular ring standing out to you like a beautiful, shiny sore thumb. Walking closer to inspect it, you manage to take in some more of its finer details.

It was a simple silver band, just like the majority of the others, however, while they had simple diamonds, this one had a ruby instead, the red complementing the silver perfectly. One look at it, and you were strong in your opinion that Natasha would love it.

You soon felt a presence behind you, recognising it immediately as the one who had brought you out here in the first place.

“Are you looking at the red one?” You whipped your head round.

“How did you know?”

“Because you look like you’ve decided to fall in love with that ring instead.” She raised her eyebrows, taking great enjoyment in watching you look around and get excited with almost every ring you see as you think about how it would feel if Natasha was to say ‘yes’. In all honesty, a part of you was a little scared, nervous. Marriage is a big step, and while she had said she would want to, you don’t want to get the timing wrong. You want it all to be perfect, and you would do your damn best to make it so. She was your forever, and you refused to let that slip through your fingers.

Before you could even blink, Wanda had asked the saleswoman if they could have it brought out of it’s viewing unit so that you could take a closer look, which she responded with a kind smile before unlocking the case and holding the ring out to you, exposing all of it’s edges and how it glistens differently in every light, a faint red glow appearing every so often.

This was the one.

“Could I buy this one, please?” You asked the lady who appeared to be nothing but friendly.

“Of course, let me just ring that up for you and I'll get it boxed up.” You had to hold back a small giggle at her choice of words. Immature, you know, but you didn’t overly care, feeling too over the moon at taking the first step towards marriage with the love of your life.

Wanda gave you a pearly white smile, clapping her hands in joy at how the trip has turned out, watching you now hold the small box in your hand. You didn’t blame her, this has been a success. You can’t wait.

___________________________

“Babe! I’m home!” You called, shutting the front door behind you and kicking your shoes off, the ring safely held in its box, which was settled in your back pocket.

“Hi love” Natasha walked over, placing a sweet kiss on your lips before pulling away and brushing some loose strands of hair behind your ear, a gesture you had always adored. “How was your day? I heard you went out with Wanda?”

Of course she did! Luckily, she’s not the only spy around who could think quick on her feet.

“Yeah, we went for some lunch and just had a girls day. I think she needed to get out of the compound for a bit, too much ‘boy’ energy.” You shrugged, a smile playing on your lips as you watched hers curl upwards in agreement.

“I don’t blame her, poor girl. We’ve totally abandoned her with the males.”

“Would you like to go back and stay there?”

“Absolutely not, I’m quite happy where I am, thank you.” She raised her eyebrows in a playful manner before gesturing to the TV. “Do you wanna watch some ‘Friends’?”

“Yes! I’ll just change into some comfier clothes, jeans are not the one today.” You happily agreed, quickly giving her a peck on the cheek before scurrying off to the bedroom, hoping she didn’t notice the odd shape of your pocket.

You made it into the bedroom, getting some pj’s out of your wardrobe and looking for a place to hide the ring. You were going to just put it into your bedside table, but you knew Natasha often snuck in there to steal some of your favourite moisturiser. Not as subtle as she thinks.

You settled on hiding it on the top shelf of your wardrobe, behind some storage boxes and rucksacks neither of you used, hoping it would be well hidden there.

Now all you had to do now, was wait.

Taglist: @natashas-favourite-knives @wandaromanova​ @wvnda-maximoff​

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x avenger!reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff fic #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff wedding #natasha romanova #marvel #mcu #marvel fic

[dragon-kazansky]

Dangerous | Helmut Zemo

AU! Race car driver Zemo 😎

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Masterlist]

[Next chapter]

Part 1

All around you were racing drivers and their cars. People were gathering around them, taking pictures, chatting. You were just walking through the lane, looking at the cars more than the drivers.

You didn't know cars all that well, but you certainly enjoyed looking at them. Race cars always looked cool.

It was a friend of yours that brought you here today, but as soon as she spotted the driver she had come to see, she was off. You decided to take a walk.

Up ahead there was quite a crowd. They were gathered around a car that stood out amongst the other. It was a dark purple colour. Very nice, very sleek. You stopped beside the crowd the admire it.

Then the crowd began to get quite noisy.

You turned to see what all the fuss was about. A man was approaching the car. Dark hair, brown eyes, his racing suit matching the car in front of you. Clearly the driver.

He smiled at the crowd.

You didn't know who this was. You didn't really know racing, but he was obviously a big deal. Everyone was calling for him.

"Zemo! Zemo!"

Zemo? You took your phone out and looked him up. This guy was a big deal. You scrolled a little, seeing posts about him, photos being uploaded from the day.

They call his name again and you look over. He's having his photo taken with people.

You hear your name from behind you. Turning sharply, you look around to see your friend waving at you. You glance once more at Zemo before joining your friend. She doesn't seem to take much notice of the loud crowd behind you.

"I wondered where you went."

"I was looking around. Have fun?" You ask, knowing she had definitely spoken to her favourite racer.

"Tony Stark is amazing! He's won before. Twice."

"What about him?" You turn to look back at Zemo. He was getting into his car now.

"That's Helmut Zemo, this is his first big race. Apparently he was really promising in the lower ranking races, but I haven't seen him against any of these guys." She looks around at the other racers. They were getting into their cars.

"I guess we better go before the race starts."

She guides you back the way you came and you follow the crowds to the stands. You both get a really good spot. You would have a great view of the finish line.

You have to wait a short bit before all the cars take their places. Your eyes focus on the purple vehicle below. You were curious. Ahead of him was Stark's car and another car you didn't know the owner of.

Your friend leaned in.

"Stark starts in the number one position. That's exciting, isn't it?" She says, making a slight fuss.

"Yeah," you reply, but not really paying attention.

The crowds go quiet. You watch eagerly. Then, the coolest sound roars loudly. The engines revving. It's loud and noisy, but suddenly you're filled with so much excitement.

The crowds were cheering again, and before you knew it, the cars were off. You were leaning forward as if that would give you a better view. The cars were out of sight very quickly and your eyed were drawn to the monitors, the cameras picking up the race.

The main focus was on Stark. He was putting so much distance between himself and the others already. The car right behind him belonged to a Stephen Strange, but he was struggling to shake the purple car off his tail.

Zemo. Round the next bend he gained his advantage, overtaking Strange who was worried they would collide if one of them didn't slow down just a tad.

Zemo was left to close the distance between him and Stark on his own now.

Your friend cheered loudly, calling Stark's name as if he would be able to hear her all the way down there.

Zemo was right behind him now.

One more bend until the finish line. Your eyes watched the corner, waiting for those cars to come racing round it. You nibbled at your bottom lip, anxious to see those cars again.

First around the corner is Stark, but Zemo is right there, just a nose behind him. You watch as they race down the last length, both cars over the finish line so very quickly. The other competitors still somewhere in the dust these two left behind.

A whole wave of people move to make their way down to the barricades. You look up at the monitor, waiting for the final result. They were so close at the end.

Stark's name flashes up on the screen.

You know your friend will be over the moon, but as you turn to see where the purple car had pulled up, you couldn't help feeling disappointed.

Zemo climbs out of his car and removes the helmet. He wipes at his brow and turns to look over at Stark, his car now surrounded by people.

He was so close.

You leave the stand and make your way down. You walk straight last the crowds and head over to where Zemo's car sat. No one seemed to be paying much attention as you looked at it.

The drivers were called for their rewards of today's race. You watched as they left, not missing the way Zemo had glanced back at his car, and therefore you, before he left.

You reunited with your friend when the drivers were awarded. The moment it was over, she dragged you away. It was all over now. The drivers would go celebrate, the cars would be taken care of, and that was it.

Still, you found you might have a new interest in racing cars.

As you were leaving with your friend, she suddenly came to a halt and turned around. Stark was leaving the track in his own car, stopping to wave at the crowd of adoring fans. Unable to resist, your friend left your side to go over and see him.

You sighed as you watched her squeal when Tony turned to talk to her. He was flirting with his fans.

A convertible came out next. Your eyes trailed over to see who that was. Your heart skipped a beat at Zemo in the drivers seat. He had pulled up to glare over at Stark.

Your friend rushed to your side.

"Stark is inviting us all to go celebrate with him. We should go."

You glance at the crowd behind her.

"You go, I just want to go home."

She looks a little defeated, and torn, but after you insist she goes to enjoy herself, she leaves your side to spend the night on Stark's company.

You walk away.

Zemo had noticed you. He saw the girl run over to you, say something, and then walk back. You were left on your own. Normally he wouldn't bother paying attention to such things, but he recognized you. You were standing by his car earlier.

And you were walking away from Stark.

Zemo ignores what's happening in his left and drives forward. He cruises up along side you, stopping when you turn to see.

"Need a ride?"

You look startled. You look around you quickly. He couldn't possibly be talking to you.

"Me?"

"There is no one else here," he chuckles.

You look at the car. It looks expensive. You glance back at your friend, who was still fawning over Tony Stark. Looking back at Zemo, you see him smiling softly at you.

"Alright."

You climb in, not entirely sure what you were doing. Yet, you were drawn to this man in front of you. Your sanity had gone out the window ages ago.

Once you were strapped in, he drove off.

"Where to?"

"Oh, uh," you pull out your phone and tell him the name of the hotel you were staying at. Zemo knows exactly where to go.

Silence falls between you as you look out at the scenery. It feels strange sitting next to a man who you only found out about today, and yet were so drawn to. You had never been to a race before today, so why were so drawn to him?

"I saw you earlier, after the race."

You turn to look at him, but his eyes were on the road, as they should be.

"You did?"

"You were looking at my car. You do realise I didn't win today, yes?" He glances at you.

"And that means I can't come look at your car?"

The way he laughs a little makes you feel a little shy. He could probably tell you had never been to a race before.

"Well, no. You can go wherever you like once the race is over. It's just more of a usual habit for for people to go congratulate the winner."

"I guess Stark just didn't interest me at the time."

He glances at you again, trying to figure you out. You were a curious person, to him at least.

"Your first race?" He asks, smiling to himself.

"That obvious, huh."

"A little. Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes." You look at him. "I was on the edge of my seat. I've never really given racing a thought before, but the sounds of the engines, the way you all disappeared around the track, that ending. I never realised how much I would probably enjoy something like that."

He chuckles. "Was it enough to make you want to go again?"

"Yes, I think so."

"The next race in two weeks. Can I interest you?" He looks at you.

"Yes," you say, rather quietly. You only know he heard you by his smile.

"Good."

The smile remains on his face as he drives down the straight road. Wind whips through your hair as you admire his side profile. You watch the way he taps his fingers against the steering wheel, how one hand rests on the gear stick.

He's a professional driver. For whatever reason, to you that was thrilling.

As if he could feel your eyes on him, he turned to you. His lips curled into a grin. You narrowed your gaze at him, but you soon realised what was going through his head.

The car sped up.

The way he handled the vehicle changed instantly. He was showing off now. Showing you what he could do. His eyes returned to the road.

"Tell me to stop and I will."

You didn't.

Faster. He went faster. With one hand you clutched the seat below you, the other placed on the dashboard.

He laughed.

You did too.

He sped up a bit more, going as fast as was willingly wanting to go on a public road. There were very cars about, and he weaved through them like it was nothing.

You laughed louder.

The wind in your hair, the scenery blurring past you, the cars honking their horns at your ridiculousness. Adrenaline flooded through you.

This is how it felt in his world. He was giving you a taste.

The smile on your face, the laughter tumbling from your lips, the pure excitement on your face. It was all satisfying for him. You were a perfect stranger who had just appeared in his life, and as he looked at you beside him, he wondered if it was at all possible to hold onto this.

If you cane to the next race, maybe he would know.

Zemo only slowed down the car when he approached the town. Pure joy was still etched onto your face as he made his way to your hotel.

He pulled up outside.

You turned to him.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

You hesitated to climb out. That was the most thrilling ride of your life and you didn't want it to be over.

The way was looking at you suggested he may feel the same, but he didn't say anything.

"Can I expect you to be there in two weeks time?"

"I expect so."

"I'll have a ticket sent your way. I expect to see you at my car on the day."

"You'll be waiting for me?" You ask, surprised by his foward words.

"Yes."

"You don't even know my name," you chuckle.

"Then tell me."

You smile and give him your name. He smiles in response and tests it out on his tongue. The way he says it with his accent sent shivers down your spine.

At last the spell is broken and you get out of the car. Even after closing the door, you stand there and look at him.

"It was nice meeting you, Zemo."

"The honour is mine."

You step back away from the car and watch as he pulls away, driving off. You wait until he's gone before heading inside the hotel.

You're already in bed when your friend returns to the room. She stumbles in, giggling. Clearly, she had been having a good time.

You go back to sleep. You'll deal with her in the morning.

You had to wake her up for breakfast. She complained the entire time, mostly about her headache, but she got ready and joined you in the food hall.

She spent the entire meal telling you about last night. Stark had taken all those fans out to celebrate at some super popular club he was a regular at. He bought everyone drinks, danced with them, and supposedly flirted with her.

Not once had she asked what you had got up to. It was then you decided you wouldn't tell her. Your meeting with Zemo would be your little secret, at least, you had intended it to be.

A member of staff approached your table, an envelope in hand. She handed it to you, saying a gentleman had left this for you.

It was here your friend perked up.

"What's that?"

"A ticket," you said, pulling it out. A little note was inside too. The handwriting was spectacularly neat. You smiled at the way your name was scribbled on the top.

"For the races? You're going again?"

"Uh, yeah. Yesterday was fun, I thought it would interesting to go again."

Your friend watched as you read the note, smiling as you did so. She wasn't dumb, she knew something had happened. Originally she wasn't going to ask because she assumed you immediately returned to the hotel. On your own. She had no idea.

Darling Y/N,

Here is your ticket for the next race. Inside you will also find a pass. It will allow you more access around the track. I will be waiting for you.

Helmut Zemo

"Who is that from?"

You bite your lip, peering at her through your lashes. A blush dusted your cheeks as you glanced back down at his name on the note.

"A friend."

She didn't look she totally believed you, but she didn't push it. She just smiled at you with a knowing look.

You tuck the note, ticket, and pass back into the envelope and keep it safe.

You would do whatever you needed to be at those races in two weeks time. You wanted to see Zemo again.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl

#helmut zemo #zemo #helmut zemo x reader #zemo x reader #marvel #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Aim For The Heart | Chapter 3: Plan B

Pairing: hitman!jk x female reader

Genre: E2L, romance, drama, angst

WC: 5.1k

Warnings for this chapter: language (jk will continue to have a potty mouth), a gun, attempted murder

Tag list; @hopekookies @moonchild1 @barbellastyles98 @teresaisla @ggukkieland @mwitsmejk @scuzmunkie @sugaslittlekookies @jaebeomsblackgf @moon-asia

summary; Jeon Jungkook is an infamous hitman, known for his inability to fail at whatever job is thrown his way. At least, up until now. Y/n, a kind-hearted and full of life teacher, is his newest target. Jeon isn’t sure who would put a hit on this seemingly innocent girl, but fortunately, that isn’t his problem. All he has to do is pull the trigger. 

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"Excuse m-me, sir."

Jungkook turns and his heart stops in his chest when he sees the wide eyes of a horribly familiar girl staring up at him.

You're clutching a piece of paper in your hands as a smile spreads on your face when you look at him closer. Jungkook blinks a few times, the rest of him frozen in horror at being caught.

"Th-This is for you." You hold out the paper.

Jungkook takes it limply, his eyes never leaving yours.

When the initial shock leaves his body, he tears his eyes away from you and looks down at what you gave him. He squints in confusion at what he sees. Then he looks back up at his target.

What the hell is this?

"Uh-"

"I hope it isn't c-creepy. I j-just thought it might make you s-smile." You brighten when he looks back down at the picture.

Jungkook swallows thickly.

On the piece of notebook paper, is a terribly drawn picture. But that isn't what's gotten his attention. On it, is an image of what he can only guess to be himself, sitting on a bench.

He looks back up at you, "Um, I don't understand..." His voice gives out on him as he fights the urge to bolt. Everything about this situation is telling him to run. You know him. You've known he was following you.

But you aren't outright telling him that you know...

What the hell does he do now?

You smile shyly, a small blush creeping up your cheeks. "I know it m-must seem weird. But p-please let m-me explain."

He nods uncertainly, forcing his feet to stay planted where he is.

"Ok," You wring your hands together and he watches in confusion as you blink a few times. "O-Ok, I like to d-draw. And sometimes when I d-don't have anything else to draw, I draw p-people. Then I give them the p-picture as a present to make them h-happy!" You bounce a little on the balls of your feet.

"But-..." Jungkook scratches his neck. "When did you do this?" He's starting to think maybe he's out of the line of fire. Perhaps he jumped to conclusions and you don't suspect him of following you at all.

You put a finger to your chin as you think about that. Then you tap your cheek, blinking hard a few times. "Mmm, I think it was Wednesday? Maybe Thursday..." You start mumbling to yourself.

Jungkook raises a brow, watching you curiously.

He looks around, no one seems to be paying attention to the two of you. Good, he can't be seen as one of the last people to be with you.

You suddenly speak up again, drawing his attention back to you.

"W-Well, anyway. I decided to m-make it and give it to you b-because you looked sad. Are y-you lonely?" You look up at him with big eyes and he blinks, looking away for a second to regain his composure.

Damn, she's nosy.

Jungkook clears his throat and looks back at you, "I'm not lonely. And as much as I appreciate the thought, I don't need this." Then he shoves the picture into your chest, making you flinch and grab it.

"Have a good day." He says curtly, then he turns and walks as quickly as he can away from the situation.

After a minute of walking, Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief to be out of that. He messed up. Now he really needs to get this done quickly before the target figures anything out for real this time.

The relief is short-lived though. A second later, he flinches when he hears a voice calling out to him and the sound of feet running.

"Wait! Mister, p-please wait!"

Jungkook pulls his hat down further and picks up his pace, trying to find a crowd he can lose you in.

He's squeezing in-between people and pushing past others, ignoring their sounds of annoyance. Then a hand grabs the sleeve of his jacket and he internally groans.

Shit, she's fast.

Jungkook shakes you off of him and turns to glare at you.

 "What?" He snaps.

You blink and cock your head to the side for a second before straightening it out, a crooked smile forming on your face.

"I w-wasn't able to introduce m-myself." You state simply.

Jungkook audibly sighs, "Look, I'm busy."

"Oh." Your face falls and he resists the urge to roll his eyes.

You look at the ground for a second, then you look back at him, your eyes bright again and the smile back on your face. "P-Please, take the picture. I have n-no room in my bag f-for it."

Jungkook sighs again and snatches the picture out of your hands, "Fine. Happy?" He waves it in the air before folding it and sticking it in his jacket pocket.

You nod happily, "My n-name is ____."

 I know.

"Alright." He looks away, trying to give you the hint that he's done with the conversation.

"What's y-your name?"

Gosh, she never shuts up, does she?

"Jungkook."

...

...

...Fuck.

Why in the literal hell would he say his real name just now?

He wasn't thinking. He just wanted you to shut up. 

You see the look of pure panic on his face and laugh to make him feel better, "Nice t-to meet you, J-Jungkook." He must have trouble talking with people, you think. 

"Ok, well yeah, it was nice to meet you. Thank you for the picture. Goodbye." He turns and all but runs off, finally disappearing into a crowd.

You watch him go into the big crowd and you smile, he was so kind. Giggling and looking down at your fingers, you turn and start making your way home. _______________

Jungkook hauls ass all the way back to his place, constantly making sudden turns and glancing around to make sure you're not hot on his heels.

When he finally makes it up the stairs and into his apartment, he locks the door and yanks his shoes off, hurling them at the front door and flinching when they slam against it loudly.

There aren't enough curse words in his vocabulary for him to scream into his pillow that would satisfy him right now. He starts to shake, the adrenaline pumping through his veins as his brain goes into overdrive trying to figure out what to do now.

He's never been caught.

Not once. 

He's never even been close to getting caught. 

In and out, one and done.

That's how it's always been for him.

Jungkook takes his hat off and tosses it onto the tiny dining table, then he walks over to his bed and flops onto it, face down.

"I quit." He mumbles into the comforter forlornly.

Then he lays there for a minute, contemplating everything.

"I can't quit..." He mutters to himself a second later.

It's impossible.

He can't quit.

He just needs to get it over with tonight.

No more hesitating, no more distractions, no more overthinking. It doesn't matter that she saw his face and knows his name. She'll be dead by morning anyway, and it's not like her friend is here for her to tell anything about him to.

Once he's calmed himself down enough to think clearly, Jungkook gets up and moves to his closet to pull out the safe. He puts in the code and it swings open when he gives it a little tug. He takes out the gun that he failed to use the other night, then he unloads it, pouring the little bullets onto his bed. Jungkook counts them before reloading them, then he dumps them out again, counting them before once again reloading them.

He does this whenever he needs to think, it helps him concentrate. When he's unloaded and reloaded it four times, he's finally able to take a deep breath. He sits on the edge of his bed, his head hanging for a minute before he lifts it and stares at the wall. _______________

When you get home, you kick your shoes off and head straight to the kitchen to grab a snack. You grab a little drinkable yogurt and grin as you open it up and take a sip. 

Then you move to sit on your couch, still gently sipping your yogurt. When you're almost halfway done with your snack, you pull out your phone and text Mina. 

You 4:32- Mina, I met someone today ^-^

Then you toss your phone next to you and grab your TV remote, turning it on you quickly find the drama you're currently binging and you hit play. 

After a few minutes, you hear your phone bling. You pause the show and grab it to see Mina has answered you. 

Mina 4:40- YOU WHAT? WHO

You laugh quietly and you're typing a reply when a picture of you and Mina making silly faces pops up on the screen and the ringtone you made special for her starts ringing. You answer it quickly, laughing when she shouts through the phone immediately. 

"WAS IT A BOY??" She shrieks, almost breaking your eardrums.

"Y-Yeah." You can feel the blush creeping up your neck at her next words.

"Is he cute? Is he single?"

"M-Mina!" You cry in embarrassment, "It isn't l-like that." 

You hear a disappointed sigh leave her lips, "Well, what is it like then?" She asks in curiosity. 

"I gave him a p-picture that I drew. He t-took it, Mina! He didn't say I was c-creepy like the other girl did." You're grinning from ear to ear. 

She laughs quietly as she realizes what this is about. "Ohh, so you drew a picture of him and gifted it to him?"

"Yup!"

"That's so sweet of you, ____. And he actually took it?" 

You nod, then remember she can't see you. 

"Y-Yes, he took it. He said th-thank you, and he told m-me his name!"

Mina laughs again at your excitement, "What's his name?"

"Jungkook."

"Ohhh," There's a teasing hint to her tone, "Sounds like a name fit for a cute guy. So, was he cute?" 

You bite your lip then whisper, "Uh, yes. He was c-cute." 

"Awww! ____ has her first cruuuush!" Mina shrieks again and you shake your head. 

"No, Mina. I d-don't have a crush on h-him! I just thought he was n-nice. He seemed like he would m-make a good friend." You pull at the hem of your skirt, your knees tucked up to your chin. 

You hear her giggle on the other side, then her tone turns serious. "Ok, you're right ____. No man is good enough to date my sweet best friend. Don't you dare pursue him until I get there and give my approval!"

You roll your eyes, "I'm not going to p-pursue him at all, silly."

You two chat for a couple of minutes, then you let her go because you both need to figure something out for dinner soon. 

You decide to finish the episode of the drama, but you can't resist and watch a few more after it. By the time you're able to peel your eyes away from the TV, the sun is starting to go down. You rub your eyes in confusion, I didn't realize how many episodes I watched. 

You stretch your arms above your head and yawn, "Ah, I should g-get some d-dinner," You stand up to go to your kitchen and scrounge around. You come up with a few pieces of celery, half a jar of kimchi, and one hard-boiled egg. 

You scrunch your nose at the emptiness of the fridge. You'll just have to go to the grocery store tomorrow. But until then, you decide to just go out and get something to eat for dinner and maybe find something for your lunch tomorrow. 

You pull your tennis shoes on and grab your bucket hat, plopping it onto your head. It doesn't go with the rest of your pastel outfit, but you don't really care. If it's comfy, then it's a win for you. 

Then you take your bag and sling it over your shoulder. Remembering to lock the door, you leave and head down the stairs. _______________

Jungkook thanks the man at the food stand as he takes the fishcake skewer and hands his money to the man. Then he bows and turns to make his way through the crowds of people that always come out at night in Seoul. 

He finds a bench in a park a little ways from the hustle and bustle of the city, so he sits there and takes a deep breath of the crisp evening air. Jungkook takes a bite of his fishcake, chewing it thoughtfully as he goes over the new plan of action in his head. 

A few people pass by while he sits there, one of them is a small girl with her mother. She reminds Jungkook of that little girl, Mi-Rah, from the other day. His throat constricts when he remembers the child's words to him. Then he scoffs and takes another bite of fishcake, chewing it aggressively. If that annoying kid hadn't distracted him, he wouldn't be sitting out here right now trying to come up with a new plan...stupid. 

Jungkook finishes his food, then he stretches his long limbs out, grunting from exhaustion. This hit is really taking a mental toll on him for literally no reason at all. He can't wait to be done with it. 

He rubs his hands together and stands up, stretching a bit more before heading in the direction of the target's home. 

He's going to finish this. 

Tonight. 

When Jungkook is a few blocks from her apartment, he slows down and glances around before slipping into the dark alleyway from the other night. Once he's in the dark, he slips the gun from his pocket and checks the bullets. It's an obsessive thing at this point, but it makes him feel more secure. 

He slides the last bullet back in, then-

"Jungkook?"

The gun clatters to the ground with a loud sound as Jungkook whips around to see the one person he doesn't want to see at this moment. 

Gosh fucking damn it all to hell. 

You're standing there, looking up at him from under your bucket hat. Jungkook scans you quickly, noticing you're still in your light yellow skirt and pink blouse from earlier. You have some bags in your hands as you smile at him. 

You don't seem to have taken notice of the fact that he literally just dropped the gun he was going to shoot you with. So, Jungkook quickly kicks it to the side, relieved when it slides behind a bag of trash. 

"Uhm, hi...____, right?" It takes all his willpower not to fumble over his words after being caught for the second time on the same day.

You nod happily at the fact that he remembered your name, "Yes! F-Funny to run into y-you again!"

Jungkook chuckles dryly, "Yeah, what a coincidence."  

You gesture to him with one of the bags in your hands, "D-Do you live n-near here?" 

Jungkook's nose twitches, but he keeps a straight face. "No, I just...I was out for a walk." 

"Ohh! Night walks are th-the best." 

"Mhm.." Jungkook looks around, trying to figure out what he should do. Maybe he should just do it now...yeah, that's the best idea. 

"So, what did you buy?" Jungkook asks suddenly, gesturing towards your bags. You take the bait instantly and brighten, bending down to place your bags on the ground so you can show him. 

The second you aren't looking, Jungkook crouches and grabs the gun from behind the trash bag he kicked it towards.

"Well, now. L-Let me see." You're crouched on your heels, looking through the bags. Jungkook cocks the gun and raises it, his finger on the trigger. 

"I've g-got an apple, that was from the k-kind old woman at the fruit s-stand-"

He's about to pull it when another voice rings out in the alley. 

"Miss ___! Is that you?"

Jungkook quickly brings the gun down, switching it to safety and stuffing it into the front of his pants. Clearly, he isn't thinking straight right now. 

You look up at that moment and glance behind Jungkook before a smile of recognition lights up your face. "Ohh! Mr. Ch-Chang! What are y-you doing out this l-late at night?"

Jungkook bites his lip in pure frustration and turns to see an older man smiling at the pair of you. "I was taking my trash out, and I thought I'd heard your voice coming from over here."

You grab your bags and scoot past Jungkook to greet the older man properly, "It's s-so nice to see you. It's b-been a l-long time!" 

Mr. Chang smiles and nods, "It has indeed. And who is this handsome young fellow?"

He looks around you at Jungkook, who screams internally, not knowing anything that could make this situation worse. 

"That's m-my new friend, Jungkook."

Oh, ok. So, that makes it worse. Good. 

Not only was his plan foiled, but this old man now has a visual and a name to put to someone should anything happen to you. 

Great, just great. 

"Ah, it's very nice to meet you, Jungkook." Mr. Chang holds out a shaky hand and Jungkook takes it and gives it a shake. "Oh, this one's got a good shake." The old man winks at you and you laugh. 

Jungkook forces a smile onto his face. 

He's always been good at charming people, that's what makes him so good at his job. 

"It's nice to meet you too, Mr. Chang." He says politely. 

"Well, very good. Very good. What do you say we all get out of this creepy old alley? Let's get into the light." Mr. Chang leads you and Jungkook out until the street lamps pour golden artificial light onto the three of you. Jungkook wants to flinch away, it feels like the light is exposing all the dirty little secrets he's got hidden away. 

But he remains stoic. 

You and the man exchange a few words before Mr. Chang clears his throat, "Alright dear, I really am an old man, I must be heading to bed. Jungkook," Jungkook looks up from where he was staring at the ground, "Hm?"

"Be a good lad and walk my young friend home?" He looks at Jungkook with such kind and trusting eyes that Jungkook finds himself looking away. 

"Of course." He mumbles. 

This man doesn't suspect a thing. He has no idea that the guy he's asking to protect his friend is the one that was about to kill her for a hefty price, and would have if he hadn't been interrupted. 

"Thank you. You two stay safe and I'll see you again, ___." 

"Goodnight, M-Mr. Chang!" You wave to him as he slowly makes his way around the corner. Then you turn to Jungkook and smile. 

Jungkook briefly wonders if your cheeks ever get sore from smiling all the time. 

"I l-live this way." You raise an arm to the right, the bag hanging from it dangles. Jungkook nods, then he starts to walk. You need to jog to catch up to him, his long legs take huge strides as he hurries down the street. 

The walk is silent, you sensing that Jungkook isn't really in the mood to talk. But it takes a lot of willpower for you not to start asking him different questions to get to know him more. 

When you've finally reached the stairs that lead up to your apartment, you huff in a breath. 

"Hoo, I'm so t-tired." You laugh. 

Jungkook looks at you, his face unchanging. 

You hold up a bag, "Would y-you mind carrying th-this up for me? I'm sorry, it's gotten so h-heavy during the walk. And I n-never walk that f-fast."

Jungkook takes the bag with a sigh, then he turns and hurries up the stairs, leaving you to huff and puff up them slowly behind him.  

When you reach your door, Jungkook sets the bag down on the ground and turns to leave, "Have a good night." He mumbles. 

"W-Wait!"

He turns back to you, biting back another sigh. 

"Th-Thank you...for today." You say softly, a hint of a smile on your lips. 

"No problem." He says quickly before hurrying down the stairs and disappearing around a corner. 

You unlock your door and bring in the bags, lugging them to the kitchen to start unpacking them. As you put the stuff you bought where it belongs in the kitchen, you think back on your day. 

It's so crazy that when you were so lonely without Mina, you were able to talk to someone new! A spark of hope comes alive in your chest that maybe you've just made a new friend. Hopefully, you'll see him again and you can learn more about him. 

You're so curious to know more about this dark and lonely stranger. _______________

Jungkook opens the door to his apartment, walking in slowly. 

He shuts the door and locks it, then he pulls off his shoes and drops them by the front door. After that, he walks over to his bed, pulls his pants and shirt off, then climbs into bed. 

Wrapped up in his covers, Jungkook stares straight ahead into the darkness. 

"How the hell am I going to do this?" He whispers numbly. 

His head is spinning with new plans and everything that's happened today, but he can't grasp a single one of those thoughts as they race by. 

Hours pass by as Jungkook tries desperately to get his head clear enough for him to focus. Eventually, he passes out from pure exhaustion, falling into a fitful sleep.

 The next morning, the sun slips through the blinds. The birds are just starting to sing their morning songs, their pretty little voices waking up the rest of the world. 

Jungkook shoots straight up in bed, "That's it!" He shouts, then he claps his hand over his mouth, remembering how thin the walls are in this apartment complex. 

A smirk spreads across his face as he takes his hand down, "Ah, thank goodness." Jungkook almost laughs out loud in relief at finding another solution.

He jumps out of bed and runs to the shower. It ends up being the shortest shower he's ever taken, he doesn't have any time to waste.

When he gets out, Jungkook grabs a bottle of chocolate milk and a banana before hurrying to get dressed and out the door. _______________

Jungkook arrives at the school before you, so he gets a paper and sits on the bench, as usual, waiting for you to appear. 

It only takes ten minutes of waiting until he spots you across the street. Jungkook smiles to himself and waits patiently. Sure enough, you glance across the street and see him looking at you. 

You feel a warm spark in your chest when you see your new friend sitting on the bench across the street from the school. You wave happily, delighted when he smiles and waves back. Then, he stands up and jogs across the street until he's standing right in front of you. 

"Good morning, ____." 

"Hi, J-Jungkook!" The smile on his face makes your cheeks warm as you look down at your feet. 

Then you look back at him, "H-Hey, would you l-like to hang out t-today?" You ask suddenly, but hopefully, afraid he might turn you down instantly. 

Instead, Jungkook's smile grows and he nods, "Sure. I'll meet you out here when you're off work." 

"O-Ok." You grin at him, not expecting him to agree so fast. Then you look at the time, "I have t-to go. I'll see you l-later." 

He waves as you turn and hurry into the school. 

Jungkook can't stop the smirk from coming as he watches you disappear into the doors of the school. If you insist on talking to him and making him your friend, then he'll just have to go along with it. _______________

"Alright, m-my little ducklings! Time t-to pack up!" You clap your hands to get their attention. They all listen immediately, moving to get their bags put together and ready for home. 

A few minutes later, the school bell rings, signaling the end of the day. 

The kids squeal with happiness and you feel your own rush of excitement, remembering that you have a new friend to spend the rest of your day with. The kids get into line quickly and you give them each a punch in their reward cards as they file out the door. 

The second you step out of the school, leading the line of little ducklings behind you, you glance across the street, but you don't see Jungkook sitting there. 

You try not to think too much about it and focus on getting the kids into the correct lines for the busses. 

You wave to Joon Woo as he climbs into his father's car. He and his dad wave to you and smile before driving away. 

Then you look across the street again, but there still isn't any sign of Jungkook. 

You bite your lip before turning and walking into the school.

Gathering your things, you think about all the things you and Jungkook might be able to do to pass the time. You're so consumed in your thoughts that you don't notice the knock on your door. The second time the person knocks, louder this time, you hear it. 

"C-Come in!" You call out, sorting the last bits of the worksheets that the kids did today. The door opens and Mr. Baek from class A walks in. 

You look up and smile at him, "Good afternoon, Mr. B-Baek. How can I h-help you?"

He glares down his long nose at you, "Did you give any thought to what I said last week?"

"Um..."

What did he say last week...?

Oh...

"Oh, uhm. Mr. Baek, I still d-don't understand."

"What do you not understand about it?" He snaps. 

You flinch, then set down the stack of papers and stand up while grabbing your bag. "I th-thought maybe you'd had a b-bad day-"

Mr. Baek scoffs loudly, cutting you off. 

"You aren't that dense, sweetheart."

The way he says that makes your stomach turn, "Ok, I'm s-sorry that you're upset. I h-have s-somewhere to be. If y-you'll excuse me." 

You move around him and hurry out of the room before he can say anything else. You really aren't sure what's gotten into him, but you're going to avoid him until he's over it. 

When you walk down the steps to the school, you look around, but Jungkook isn't anywhere to be seen. You try not to let it get to you, this has happened before. 

The only person who has ever followed through on plans with you is Mina. 

You blink a few times, then you start making your way home. 

"Going home so soon?" 

You turn to see Jungkook standing behind you.

A smile spreads on your face at the sight of him. "I thought y-you'd left." You say slowly. 

He shakes his head and steps closer to you, " I always keep my promises."

You feel your chest lift at his words, finally someone that isn't going to leave you hanging. Then you readjust the bag on your shoulder, "W-What would you like t-to do?"

Jungkook frowns when he notices something off about you. He knows it's none of his business and he doesn't really care, but he's curious. 

"Did something happen?" He asks, taking you by surprise, "You look kind of upset."

At that, you smile bigger, "N-Nothing happened! I'm f-fine." 

"Ok." Jungkook doesn't buy it, but he doesn't push you any further. He doesn't care enough to. 

"So, w-what did you w-want to do?" You ask again, relieved he doesn't continue to ask you what's wrong. 

"You pick." Jungkook gives you a small smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. 

You decide to ignore that and clap your hands together, "W-Well, I'm hungry! How about we g-get some food?" 

Jungkook nods, "Food sounds great, do you know any good places?"

You laugh and try to send him a wink, though it's the worst wink he's ever seen. "Oh boy, I know e-exactly what we c-can eat."

Jungkook gestures forward, "Lead the way."

The two of you talk about the weather as you stroll through the city, making your way to one of your favorite food carts. You don't have much to talk about besides that. You're trying to come up with some questions to ask him once you've got your food. 

Once you arrive at the steamed bun cart, you break into a little run. Jungkook watches you skip over and jump in place once you're in line. 

She acts like a kid. 

He shakes his head but hurries over to you anyway. 

You tell him all your favorite kinds and he suggests you get them because they sound good to him too. When you take your card out to pay, Jungkook beats you to it. He hands the man some cash before you can even blink. 

"Oh, y-you don't have to do th-that."

"I know." He says simply, thanking the man once he hands him the bag of buns and his change.

You two walk to the park that he had followed you to the other day and find a spot on the green grass. You plop down and pat the spot next to you, indicating that he should sit as well. Jungkook sits down and hands you the bag. 

"Th-Thank you for b-buying it." You whisper shyly. 

Jungkook shrugs, "No problem. Which one should we try first?"

"Um, the pork ones a-are really g-good." You say, taking out the two pork buns. You hand one to him and he immediately takes a big bite, making you chuckle a little. 

"Mm, you're right. It's delicious." Jungkook says around a mouthful of food. 

You nod, glad that he likes it. Then you start to eat yours, thinking about which question you should ask him first. 

"So, how long have you been a teacher?" Jungkook asks you suddenly. 

You swallow the bite you were chewing, "I j-just started at the b-beginning of the school year in A-August. I graduated from c-college last year." 

Jungkook nods knowingly, "That's good. So, you must be around twenty-two?"

You nod, "I am t-twenty-two, yes. How o-old are you?"

"I turned twenty-three in September," Jungkook says before taking another bite. 

"Oh, n-nice. And what d-do you do f-for work?" You ask politely. 

Jungkook swallows the bite that feels like it's stuck in his throat at your question. "I work for a small business. I just take care of client's needs and stuff." 

You smile, "That's a g-good job."

He nods, finishing off his last bite. 

"It pays the bills."

Why is he suddenly uncomfortable? There's something about you that makes him nervous, but he can't tell what it is. 

No, this is on his terms. This is all part of the plan, he just needs to play along. He needs you to trust him.

Jungkook glances over at you as you stuff more food into your mouth.

This is gonna be easier than I thought. 

______________________________

a/n: thank you so much for all the support so far! I hope y’all liked this one

#jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #bts fluff #bts reactions #bts #bts smut #jungkook smut #bts jungkook angst #bts angst #jungkook scenarios #BTS jungkook #jungkook #jungkook fic #hitman!jk #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts x reader #bts x y/n #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #kim namjoon

[s1ater]

the older boy, part one. eli moskowitz x reader

summary 📣: in which reader’s friends warn her about the older boy with the red mohawk but she doesn’t listen

warnings 🚫: swearing, talk of sexual stuff/nudes

slater’s note 🗯: wait because i’m actually kind of excited for this one 😃

incoming freshman were always preyed on by upperclassmen, giving them rides home, snap chatting them inquiring things, building up debt, doing just about anything to get them in their bed.

but once sophomore year was reached, the older boys had pretty much picked out and scavenged every hot and remotely “bad” female there was.

your sophomore year had gone differently.

see you hadn’t been scavenged out in the first place your first year of highschool since you were deemed “brace-face” and “double eyed y/n” since the seventh grade.

but once you had came back with perfectly straight teeth and contact lenses, you were official sophomore prey for all boys.

it was fun... at first, boys you didn’t know adding you out of nowhere and seemingly at the same time, saying ‘hey’ and asking if you went to the same high school as they did, just to make stupid small talk that always lead to the same thing.

‘do you send’

or ‘what’s that ass look like’

or ‘pics?’

‘trade?’

‘send nudes’

anything to get you undressed and facing a mirror with your phone. it was all the same thing, meant the same thing, implied the same thing, was the same thing.

it was exhausting and annoying and made you feel like a small animal. it caused you to grow a progressive hatred to 99.99% of the male population at your school. they were never creative and always used the same words, sometimes phrased differently but always meant the same thing, causing a thick case of de ja vu each time. 

you never sent, usually left the said boy on open once that question came around, but by doing that, it created a school wide game just to get some remote “naked” picture of you.

it was insanely disgusting. an open competition, for everyone and anyone, all welcomed, everyone given a fair chance, each thriving for the end prize which was... you. 

and you should’ve known that when he added you, it’d be the same like all the other times, with all the other boys. 

it was a nice nice day in the valley, the weather cool but hot, perfect for the outdoor gym activities teachers had been planning for awhile for when it wasn’t fuming hot.

being on the cheer team meant you practiced during the time a junior gym class took place of the wide field meant for soccer. west valley high was well known for its winning championships in wrestling as well as soccer.

you began stretching, throwing an arm over your head, bending your hips side to side, before stretching your legs, bringing them up to your butt with your hand and leaning forward.

you exhaled, shaking it off as more and more kids filled the field, excitement popping off their exterior as they jumped onto the field, shaking their limbs and mimicking the stretching you had done seconds ago.

you watched mindlessly, your hands clasped behind your back when your eyes met his.

he walked onto the field with a group of his friends following from behind, a smirk filling his lips as he looked at you, nodding, as if in approval, for what though?

you felt your stomach tie up in knots. they were never confrontational, boys at your school who asked you for nudes, especially after you denied them of their desire, but the thing was hawk hadn’t asked for nudes, just straight up teased you for being in the cheer team, being an innocent little naïve sophomore. saying things that made your cheeks glow red even though it was just words typed out on screen, words that weren’t supposed to be effective, but 100% was. 

you looked away quickly, continue to stretch as if he wasn’t the real reason your cheeks were red, and it was only just the sun, that no boy had an effect like that on you. 

lie.

“ready for practice, y/n?” moon bounced her way over to you, a big smile on her face sporting her perfect white teeth.

“yeah,” you said quietly, your eyes finding there way back to hawk as he began to get ready for one the soccer games. he wore grey sweatpants and a random white graphic tee that fit his frame tightly, which was different from his usual style, bright, and color coordinated to his hair.

“who you lookin’ at,” she grinned in a sing-songy voice, coming closer to you, peaking over your shoulder before her face dropped into a frown, something very rare. 

“oh no, y/n.”

“huh?”

“not hawk.”

“what about him?” you hummed, being pulled back into reality, glancing over to her as she was still hung over your shoulder, staring at the boy with a slight disgusted, shocked expression.

“not a good idea,” she shook her head, “he’s nasty, y/n, doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

“who are we talking about?” another one of your cheer friends, gia, threw her bag to the ground, slumping over to the two of you, gazing out into the field, trying to find the boy in question. 

“hawk.”

she immediately cringed, “oh no,” she shook her head, moving back to her duffel bag full of cheer stuff, “boys got a problem, major problems, one involving anger.”

you could hear the cringe in her voice and it made you wonder how she would know, with moon she was his ex girlfriend, so it made sense, especially after all the puppy dog following he did after they broke up, trying to win her back but finally giving up after he met her girlfriend. 

you bit your lip, trying to ignore how much more enticing he had suddenly become.

“c’mon guys, he can’t be that bad,” you forced it past your lips knowing it was a damn lie. you had heard many things about him, a high percentage of them not being good things. 

he was perceived as violent, crazy, angry, psychotic, all huge red flags that would make anyone with common sense back away from the situation, but right in that moment, it had seemed all of yours had flew out the window. 

taglist: 

comment to be tagged in future works :)

#eli moskowitz #millie bobby brown #eli moskowitz imagine #eli moskowitz x reader #cobra kai #cobra kai x reader #jacob bertrand imagine #jacob bertrand x reader #tanner buchanan #tanner buchanan imagine #tanner buchanan x reader #jacob bertrand #hawk imagine #hawk x reader #hawk cobra kai #hawk #cobra kai imagine #xolo maridueña #miguel diaz imagine #miguel diaz x reader #miguel diaz #moon cobra kai #peyton list

[juuzousuzuyaswh0r3]

Called in

Toxic? Light x Fem! reader

NSFW! Cheating, Toxic?, degration, praise, breeding kink.

I recommend listening to sex, money, feels, die ( Slowed )

♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

You sigh. You wanted to be at home in bed, but you got called into the office by your boss, Mr. Yagami. Intimidatingly intriguing he always is. How he would stare at your body as you do the most simplest of tasks, such as going to the copier to grab paperwork or even grabbing a cup of coffee from the breakroom. You knew he had eyes on you, but he had a wife. Misa Amane. At first you thought they were just saying that because her name wasn’t the same as his, but she just kept her last name. She was insanely pretty with a good career, and not only that, but she was 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 clinging to him. She always had to be near him and know what he’s doing every ten minutes, so you can see where his stress comes from.

You walk down the huge and quite classy corridor, up until you are met with two large doors. Taking a deep breath and collecting your thoughts, you walk in. You look in only to see the room dark, the only light provided was from the moon, pouring in from the big windows, and in front of those windows, is your boss, ominously sitting in the desk chair with his head resting on one of his hands as he rests his elbow on the arm rest, his left leg thrown over his right knee.

“I’ve been waiting for you. What took you so long?” He speaks nonchalantly. “Sorry sir, I had to catch a cab and was in the middle of dinner-

“With who?” He blurts. “I-I’m sorry?- “I asked who you were with. It would be rude not to answer especially to your boss.”  You stand there, breath hitched in your throat. What do you say? How do you react to this? Why would he even care?

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of tapping fingers on wood, snapping back to reality to find your boss waiting impatiently for a reply. “Well?” he sneers. “No sir, I was alone.” He smirks and adjusts himself in his chair, leaning back while his eyes roam over you. 

After a long while of that, you decide to break the silence. “Anyway, what did you need sir?” He bites his inner bottom lip, looking as if he was contemplating on what to say. “To put it bluntly and not waste any of your time..” He leans forward and places his elbows on the desk holding his chin, “it’s you I want, miss L/N.” A deep blush floods your face, feeling the temperature rise in your body. You weren't oblivious to the fact that he just might think of you this way, but never had you guessed he would come out and actually say it.

“Come here.” He motions you to come over to him, to which you comply with an uneven heart race. He stands up, towering over you. Yup, there’s the intimidation factor. He licks his lips looking at yours, then back to your eyes. He leans down to your neck when he whispers, “and cut the formalities, I want you saying my name.” He plants a kiss to your neck, soon after opening his mouth to release his tongue onto your skin. You let out a sigh and let your hand roam into his hair, as if to keep him there.

He pulls away and immediately attaches his lips to yours without hesitation, only this time it wasn’t as soft as it was on your neck. It was rougher, more desperate. You feel him squirm and reach his arms down to your thighs, grasping them with a firm grip and lifting you up, turning around to place you on the desk. You wrap your hands around his neck and cross your wrists as his thumbs massage your thighs only to slip up your short dress.

His hands tease in between your thighs, getting closer then farther away from the spot you wanted him to be. “Please..”  You whine, craving more from him. He chuckles, “you really have no patience, alright, fine.” You gasp when you feel his calloused fingers playing with your clit outside your panties, and grip his shoulders tightly as you throw your head back. You feel him pull your panties to the side, soon sliding his fingers through your folds. “What’s my name, sweet face, hm? C’mon, say it.” He swoons.

“Oh, fuck. Light~” You feel his breath on your collar bone as he smiles. “Good girl.” He inserts two fingers forcefully, which you shamefully enjoyed. You wrap your legs around his waist and buck your hips up into his fingers, desperate for more. “God you’re such a slut, you know? Have you no shame?” He spits, only causing you to moan for him.

He pulls out his fingers and places them in your mouth, then removing them with a pop. “Fuck,” he mumbles. He reaches behind you and unzips your dress, leaving the loose fabric drape your shoulders as he steps back. “Well, go on, undress for me.” You pause. Did you really want this to go farther? With a married man? Not just any man, your boss. He groans at your anxiousness. He grabs your wrists harshly with one hand and reaches them above your head while the other works on removing your clothing. “Jesus Christ you’re such a bitch.” 

He strips you to nothing but your bra and underwear, taking a step back to analyze you on the desk, all laid out, just for him. “Such a pretty girl. It’s taking everything in me to not take a picture of this.” His eyes widen in thought, soon after walking towards you with a smug expression. He unties his tie, tossing it to the side and unbuttoning his shirt, looking you in the eyes. “You know, if I did that..” He starts to unclasp his belt, pushing the side of his cheek with his tongue, “.. I could ruin you.”

Your heart starts to race in excitement and in fear, would he really go that far? His pants and boxers pool at his feet, letting his cock spring free. “But for all I know, you’d enjoy it if I went that far..” He pulls your legs apart and pins your wrists to the cold desk, aligning himself with your entrance, “..You dirty slut.” Suddenly he ruts into you, giving you no time to adjust to his size. 

“Fuck! Ahh~ Wait!” You shout, pushing your head to the wood. The room is filled with heavy panting and moans, along with unexplainable pleasure. “Look at you, fuck, taking me so well.” He moans, letting his head fall back, exposing his sharp jaw and toned throat. God, even the sight of him is enough to heat your core. 

His pace quickens and he lets go of your wrists, letting his hand grab one of your legs, throwing it over his shoulder to gain better access to your cunt, managing to dive into you even deeper. You cry out for him as you claw at his chest, tears filling your eyes from the pleasure. You squeeze your eyes shut and let the tears flow from your eyes and down your cheeks, soon after feeling a thumb wipe your cheeks, then grab your jaw hard, forcing you to look at the man rearranging your guts. 

You feel his thrusts become sloppy as he starts to groan and his grip tightens. “Fuck Y/N, tell me how bad you want me, tell me how bad you want me to finish inside of you, damn it please.” He moans. 

“Please, Light! Please cum inside of me, I’m all yours! I’ll do anything for it just please!~” 

“God please cum with me, pl- Fuck, please!” He replies. You feel his cock twitch and with that you release around him, gasping and shaking. He puts a hand on your lower stomach to restrain you from squirming too much. His orgasm hits him and with one last rough thrust, he unloads inside of you. 

He bends down still inside of you to place a genteel kiss on your lips as you whimper. 

You watch as he removes himself from you, reaching for his phone. He unlocks his phone and taps, turning the phone around so you can see the screen and your eyes widen in embarrassment. It’s a picture of you, taking every inch of him with a lewd expression on your face. “If you don’t want this out, I suggest you meet me here next Friday at 8:30. Got it?” He smiles, his tongue curling up to his top row of teeth. You lay your head back down on the desk, too caught up in the aftermath of the encounter to even think clearly about your circumstance.

#this is unedited lol #death note #juuzousuzuyaswh0r3 #Light Yagami #Light #smut #Light x reader #one shot #juuzousuzuyaswh0r3 one shots

[lucyintheskywithxanax]

I Had To Know Pain Before I Could Be Comforted

Pairing: Billie Dean Howard x Fem Reader

Requested by @steveyouarelate : “37 (Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.) and 50 (I’m sorry I’m not enough for you) (with an happy ending, please) with billie dean x reader”

A/N: there’s a lot of crying and wallowing in self-pity in this one, you’ve been warned. I wanted it to have a tragic ending but you asked for happy, so here you go. I hope you’ll like it <3

Title is a line translated from this song.

Word count: ≈ 3 700

Someone catcalled you from across the street but you didn’t find it in you to care. You had no idea where you were. Night was falling, the cold, crisp air was biting your cheeks and making your whole body shiver. You could barely feel your fingers anymore. Your feet hurt. But the pain and the cold felt good. If you could, you would close your eyes and let yourself sink into it to forget everything else.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket. You ignored it. You kept on walking, straight ahead, left around a corner, past an old man sitting on a bench. He said something to you you did not understand. A car honked nearby. Let it. Let it hit you and put an end to your misery.

Your phone buzzed again. “Oh for fuck’s sake, leave me alone,” you muttered. But even as you said it, your hand reached in your pocket for your phone. Your heart swelled with a bubble of hope, that perhaps it would be her, that perhaps her words would be the right ones and they would make everything better. You turned on the screen and read your notifications.

Coming home soon? x

I’m making mackerel in white wine

It was the cold wind that made you tear up, nothing else. Certainly not the image of Billie in the kitchen, dressed in comfy clothes, sipping a glass of expensive white wine, hips swaying to some mellow jazz song as she chopped herbs and vegetables and stirred the sauce. Sassy, brave, confident, and just a little bit reckless Billie. How you adored her. She was everything to you.

Blinking back your tears, you texted her back a few words saying you were going to spend the night at your dad’s. That was a lie, but you really couldn’t face her right now.

And it wasn’t your fault, really. You had never meant to be so messed-up. But Billie – she was the sun, she was the moon and the stars in the sky and beyond, no matter how cliché that sounded, and you… you were lying on the ground covered with dirt. You were nothing. You had not achieved a single good thing in your life. You couldn’t talk to people without making a complete fool of yourself, you had no talent, no beauty, only a boring, dull personality.

You carried that knowledge in your chest like a rock. Most of the time its weight was bearable; but there were days when the rock seemed to expand and expand until it took all the room in your chest. When that happened, nothing could bring you relief. Negativity would cloud your mind. Dark little thoughts would chirp in your ears like birds in the spring. Useless, they would sing. Boring. Worthless, they would sing.

Today was one of those days. You had woken up with a feeling of dread and dejection and it had required all of your strength to get out of bed. Luckily Billie had left for work early; you didn’t want to bother her with your problems and your bad mood. And then things had just gotten worse and worse.

Today you had lost your job. Your boss had warned you several times before: you weren’t as efficient as your co-workers, you didn’t work fast enough, didn’t smile enough. You simply were not enough. So today he had held the front door open for you and slammed it behind you and had not even bothered to hide his satisfied smirk. Since then, you had walked. Roamed the streets, tried to make one with the cold.

Your phone rang. Billie’s name appeared on your screen. You stared at it for a moment before you accepted the call. You knew she may very well drive to your dad’s if you ignored her, and then what? She’d know you had lied to her. Besides, a tiny part of you was still hoping she would know what to say, she would just know, without you having to tell her, and that rock in your chest would turn to dust and flowers would bloom in its place.

“Hi sweetpea,” said Billie. Her voice was cheerful, but you knew her well enough now to hear the tinge of worry in it.

“Hey,” you said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand. Are you mad?”

There was a soft clang, something metallic being moved. “Of course I’m not. But are you sure you’re alright?”

You closed your eyes and swallowed hard. “I’m fine. My dad just really needs company right now.”

Did she even care? Or was she relieved that you wouldn’t be spending the night together?

“I’m sorry you made dinner for me,” you went on, eyes still shut tight.”I should have warned you, but he –“

“It’s fine, Y/N, really,” Billie cut you off. “We have that wonderful thing called a fridge that I can use to store leftovers.”

A small laugh escaped you.

“But I’ll miss you,” Billie said. She paused, and again you pictured her, her free hand on the counter, fingers drumming, an apron tied around her waist, hair as perfectly done as if she were about to attend a movie premiere. Another small laugh escaped you, affectionate, incredibly sad.

“Me too. I’ll be back tomorrow. Love you.”You hung up before she had time to say it back. You weren’t sure you could hear those words from her right now.

What would she think when you told her you had lost the one thing that still made you a person of value to the world? You couldn’t bear to see the disappointment on her face. She would be kind, of course, and tell you not to worry. Maybe she would even say that she still loved you. But that wouldn’t be true. Billie deserved someone who, like her, had shot for the stars and made it. Someone who shone as bright as she did, someone she could be proud of – not a liability like you.

You walked. When you took a look at your surroundings, you realized you didn’t know that part of the city. It looked like a wealthy residential neighbourhood, big white houses with large porches, impeccably mown lawns. The streets were deserted. You walked.

Spending the night at your dad’s wasn’t even an option. He was too boisterous, too loud. Your best friend would know something was wrong the minute she’d take a look at your face, and then she would ask questions, demand answers you didn’t want to give her. So you kept on walking, dragging around that rock which after so many years had become a part of you. You didn’t even know if you would want to get rid of it. It felt like company now.

A bridge, across a canal. Past the city hall. You reached downtown, busy, wild, buzzing with life. People brushed past you and laughed at each other and talked too loudly. The city watched you roam without offering the least bit of comfort. You had tried to find solace in its streets hundreds of times before, fueled by the naive belief that the city would welcome you with open arms and a kind smile. But the city was indifferent and selfish. The city sneered at the lost souls that wandered the night.

Maybe you could get a hotel room. You stopped in front of the first hotel you found and stared at the door, but soon realized you were incapable of going in. It was as if your legs had frozen, as if some sort of force were pushing you away. So you walked on. Your heart was secretly singing for home.

But you couldn’t go home. You couldn’t do that to Billie. You were a burden to her, and that had to stop. She had too many great things to achieve, a whole future made of gold and diamonds and glorious victories, to be held down by someone like you. So shut up, you ordered your heart. Don’t yearn for something you do not deserve.

You walked. You walked until you were sure your feet were bleeding and every muscle in your legs was screaming in agony. A little past midnight your mind went numb. You walked. At 1am a dog barked at you, at 1:34 a drunk whistled and called for you to come with him. At 2:30 you finally looked up and realized your aching feet had led you back home.

You tried, you really did, to go away. Go back downtown, get a freaking hotel room to spend the night. Your feet led you to the front door, your hand turned the key in the lock. You could sleep on the couch, you told yourself. You could sleep on the couch, and leave at dawn before Billie woke up.

The house was dark and silent. You waited a few seconds, your heart beating fast in your chest, listening for any sound, any indication that Billie was still awake. Nothing. You took off your coat and shoes, and dropped your bag on the floor. You waited a few seconds more. When you had convinced yourself Billie was asleep, you tip-toed all the way to the living-room. The floor was cold under your feet, the walls seemed to be closing in on you in the dark.

You hadn’t eaten since breakfast, but you weren’t sure your stomach could hold food right now. All you wanted was to collapse on the couch and bury your face in the pillows and sleep. Forget that you existed.

Your right foot slammed into a suitcase you had not bothered to put away earlier in the day. A curse escaped you, low and angry, and out of the corner of your eye you saw something stir in the darkness of the living-room. You jumped, raising an arm to defend yourself, and squinted at the shape that straightened and turned, light from outside falling on strawberry blond hair.

Billie reached out to turn on a lamp and grimaced as the bright light blinded her. She raised one hand to shield her eyes, blinking away sleep. There was a red mark on her left cheek, and you quickly realised she had fallen asleep at the table while doing crosswords. She often did that, when she couldn’t sleep. Crosswords helped her focus when her mind was buzzing with too many thoughts.

She met your eyes, blinked again, and then she smiled. You stood frozen as if you had turned into a statue, the mad pumping of your heart the only sign that you were still alive.

You could have tried to make a joke. You could have lied to her again, said you had tucked your dad in and left. Instead, your throat closed up, your heart dropped into your stomach, and to your utter shame and despair you felt your eyes fill with tears.

You were so tired. How so tired of being you.

All you wanted was to sink into Billie’s arms.

For a minute there was only silence. You watched as Billie’s expression turned from surprised to happy to confused. Oh God, what would she think of you? How she would despise you. She would think you were a sad, pitiful creature and she would be right.

You prayed for something, anything, an earthquake, a meteor crash, a tidal wave even though you lived miles from the ocean, that would put an end to your miserable life.

Billie stood up, smoothing one hand over her wrinkled clothes. Only now did you notice that she hadn’t changed from work. Had she been waiting for you this whole time? Your heart tightened in your chest. No, that couldn’t be. She had probably tried to make the best of her one evening of freedom, her one happy evening when she could celebrate your being finally out of her hair.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight,” she said with a small smug smile. She held out one hand as if to touch you and you flinched. She noticed, and her smile wavered.

“Are you alright?”

“I –“ With a shake of your head you took a few steps away from her, your throat thick with tears, and when you shot her a glance her face was blurry but you could still see the damned worry in her eyes –

“Y/N what’s wrong?” she asked, her voice getting higher and shaky as it always did when she was anxious. She walked up to you, but kept enough distance between you and her so as not to make you feel cornered.

“I lost my job.” The words tumbled out without permission. You were so tired. You just wanted to be held. “I got fired because I couldn’t do my job properly.”

Silence.

That was it, then. You had lost her. She was seeing you for who you really were; the veil love had dropped over her eyes was finally being lifted.

You couldn’t look at her, so you closed your eyes and let your tears fall.

“I’m so sorry,” you sobbed, one hand coming up to your chest for it was too tight, it was crushing your heart and it hurt too much. “Billie, I’m so sorry I keep disappointing you.”

A hand, on your arm. A question, barely above a whisper. “Honey, what do you mean?”

A sob pushed out of your throat, loud and painful and so despicable. “I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.”

She let out a noise, a gasp, but to you it sounded like a contemptuous, mocking laugh, a laugh that said, Look at you, pitiful, pitiful little creature.

“Y/N,” she started, but you shook your head. You still couldn’t look at her.

“Listen, I’ll get my things, I understand. Just – let me sleep here tonight. Please. I’ll sleep on the couch, only for tonight, and then I’ll leave I’ll – “

“Y/N what are you talking about?”

You felt her grip on your arm tighten, acrylics digging into your skin.

“Just one more night, please, Billie,” you begged.

“Shut up. Stop talking. You’re not making any sense, honey.”

“I’m so sorry,” you cried.

A hand on your cheek. You almost flinched, almost recoiled, but you managed to stop yourself from doing so. There was no need to hurt her more than you already had.

“Please stop apologizing,” Billie whispered. Why did she sound so broken? “Tell me what to do. What can I do?”

You shook your head again, choked on a sob. Billie’s thumb was gently stroking your cheek, catching your tears and wiping them away.

“Lie to me,” you whispered. “I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again. Tell me I can be enough for you.” You opened your eyes, then, and looked up at her. And you could have hit yourself, you could have stabbed your chest and ripped off your heart, for her face was coated with tears that dripped down her chin, and her gaze was so terribly sad.

She let out a strangled breath. “Oh, Y/N… come here, come here baby.”

You didn’t even try to fight her. Your body sank into hers like a stone into water. Your hands slid up her back to grab fistfuls of her shirt as you buried your face in her shoulder. She wrapped one arm around your waist and put her other hand on the back of your head, pressing you closer against her. She was being so gentle, so loving, dropping kisses on your temple, murmuring sweet nothings in your ear – it only made you cry harder. Because you were going to lose this, to lose her, and you’d never have the strength nor the will to find that kind of sweet love ever again.

She started humming, a soft tune, as she rocked you like a child and you sobbed and wailed. Her voice was always a little bit raspy when she sang, a little bit out of tune, never quite managing to hit the right notes. Hearing her sing always soothed you. She ran her fingers through your hair, acrylics gently grazing your skull, just the way you liked it, because it always made your skin tingle everywhere.

Damn her, she knew you so well. She knew exactly how to help you calm down, how to make part of that ache in your chest disappear.

Minutes passed. Billie was still humming when you finally felt like you could breathe again. You turned your head, pressed your cheek against her shoulder – her blouse was wet now, you had done that, ruined it as you always ruined everything. You forced yourself to take a deep breath, relishing the smell of her, so precious, so loved – you would have to keep it safely stored in your mind to never forget it. Maybe, on the darkest of nights to come, when everything and everyone would fail to soothe your soul, if you closed your eyes tight enough you would be able to conjure her scent again, and then sleep would finally come.

Billie’s hand slid down the side of your face to cup your cheek. You closed your eyes, counted to three, then pulled away.

Her gaze was still so very sad when you met her eyes, but she managed to offer you a smile. She gracefully wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek.

“Why are you crying?” you frowned.

Billie let out an incredulous laugh. “Did you hear what you said to me?”

There was no reproach in her voice, only sadness, and that felt like a stab to your heart.

“I’m sor –“you started, but she interrupted you with a slender finger on your lips.

“I told you to stop apologizing.” She offered you another shaky smile, but then her brow pushed up in concern. “Did I –“Her voice broke. She swallowed, tried again. “Did I do something to make you feel like you were not enough?”

Did she… what? You weren’t sure you had heard her properly. Had those words really left her mouth, or had they been uttered by a malicious spirit? How could Billie, Billie who was so considerate, so loving, so utterly perfect – how could she think she had done anything wrong?

Her face crumpled as she misinterpreted your silence. “Oh no baby, I’m so s –“she started, but you interrupted her.

“No, Billie, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Your voice was hoarse from crying. You shook your head, biting your lower lip to hold back fresh tears. “You’ve been so good to me. The best thing that ever happened to me. The truth is, you’ve been too good and I don’t… I don’t want to hold you back.” She opened her mouth to protest, but you shook your head again, a silent pleading to let you finish. “Now that I’ve lost my job you’re gonna have to provide for me and I can’t let you do that. I can’t be a burden I can’t –“

Again, a finger on your lips. You fell silent. Something in you disappeared and you felt your body go limp, as if there was no strength left in you.

Billie’s finger gently tapped your lips as she gazed at you thoughtfully.

“I don’t mind providing for you while you look for another job,” she said after a while. Her brow furrowed. “Or maybe you should take a break. Maybe I should, too. We could go somewhere nice and relax for a while.”

“But I –“Another tap on your lips.

“But you –“you tried again, but again she interrupted you. You planted a kiss on her finger in retaliation, and were rewarded with a small smile.

“I couldn’t sleep without you,” Billie said in a low voice. Her eyes met yours, kind and vulnerable. “You’re not a disappointment, Y/N. It’s got to the point I cannot even imagine my future without you.”

You couldn’t help it: you dissolved into tears again. Billie cooed and gently guided your head against her shoulder. You clang to her, hoping you could get rid of your negative thoughts with every sob. It didn’t work like that, you knew it, but when you were in Billie’s arms it almost seemed life could be easy and kind.

You didn’t pull away when your tears subsided. You kept your eyes closed, enjoying Billie’s embrace, her hand running through your hair, her warmth. You felt thoroughly empty now, thoroughly spent. Sleep weighed on your eyelids. You wrapped your arms around Billie’s waist and pulled her closer still, breathed in her scent and let out a sigh.

“What happened?” Billie whispered after a while.

“I told you.” You nuzzled her shoulder. “I lost my job.”

“No, I mean… what happened?”

You got her meaning, somehow, as if your mind were perfectly attuned to hers. You hesitated. Swallowed hard.

“I don’t know,” you said in a breath. “Sometimes it feels like I can never be a viable option for anyone, especially not for you. I know it’s stupid, I know I have no real reasons to feel that way. But I can’t help it.”

Billie hummed. She dropped a kiss on your forehead, warm lips lingering on your skin. “I love you,” she said, voice firm and raspy. She ran one hand up and down your back, nails scratching gently.”And I want you, even when you’re at your lowest and ugliest, even when you don’t have a job.”Her hand slipped over your shoulder, under your chin, titled your head up. She waited for you to meet her eyes. “You’re allowed to not be at your best all the time. That doesn’t make you worthless.”

And as you gazed at her with half lidded eyes, her words sank into you and settled in your chest and bloomed there. Eased the ache. Maybe only for a few hours, maybe only for a few days, but it was all you needed right now. And somehow she had known exactly what to say. And she would know what to say the next time.

You blinked sleepily, and she cooed, smiled a smile that was half fond, half smug. “Do you need to get some shut-eye, my little bear?”

You rolled your eyes at her, but were betrayed by a yawn. Her smile grew into a smirk.

“Shut up,” you muttered, as you buried your face in her chest, nuzzled the exposed skin, and smiled.

#ahs #ahs imagines #sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader #billie dean howard #billie dean howard x reader #fics

[dreamcatcherjiah]

JAMAIS VU | TEASER 2

Namjoon & A-Young

Kim Moon-Jae - Two years old

He was born in September, just like his dad and Jungkook

Namjoon had wanted to become a dad so bad, he seamlessly welcomed his role and made it look easy, the way he took care of his little boy

Ever since he was a newborn, Namjoon would take him to the studio and put him to sleep in his little Moses basket while he worked 

it wasn't long before Joon discovered he liked Mono and he tended to leave his phone next to his song with the playlist playing while he worked on something else

Jungkook dotes on the boy 

literally won’t put him down

from the day he was born, JK would just look at him while he slept with his big doe eyes, he sometimes sings to the baby too

Moon-Jae is a very calm baby, even in his terrible twos

he’s happy with just sitting with his toys and looking at his mom while she moves around the house

he started babbling when he was barely six months old

when he said his first word, A-Young was busy with Jimin and Tae’s sons and he screamed EOMMA at the top of his little lungs

we could say he is a bit of a mom and dad boy

he loves laying in Namjoon’s chest while he reads his bedtime story

(most of the time they both fall asleep together and A-Young finds them in the nursery chair knocked out)

He’s the closest in age to Chimae and Sangwoo, but he’s a little jealous that his cousins can do things that he is not allowed because he’s younger

he can drink from a glass, the baby cup is for BABIES

so he just gravitates towards Nabi, Sangwoo’s older sister

Jin & Yura

Kim Yoojin & Kim Yoosun (Twins) - Seven years old

after saying time and time again that they were okay with only one child twins came along

Jin would be lying if he said he wasn't thrilled but it was scary at first

he was the first one of the seven to become a dad, to twins no less, might scare everyone

but when his baby girl Yoojin was born and, ten minutes later, he held his boy Yoosun, he just knew he would do anything for them 

they were born in the middle of August, much to Yura’s relief, if she had had to carry them for longer she would have cried

the boys loved how, since it was so hot that summer, Jin had them in their crib in diapers

Yoongi adored looking at them cuddle together and caress their little arms and tummies 

he loved their smooth baby skin

as they grew up, Yoosun became a really bright bean, a people’s little person while his sister became more like her mom, calm and with very intelligent eyes

they both love their parents equally but each one gravitates towards either Jin (Yoojin) or Yura (Yoosun)

since they’re the oldest of the bangtan babies, they like to take care of their small cousins

in their seven years of life, they have spent a total of a week apart and they don't want to try that again

like EVER

NEVER EVER AGAIN

Yoongi & Hyejin

Min Ara - Six months old

Yoongi and Hyejin waited a few years to try for a baby after they got married

then baby Are came along 

when they told the boys and their families they were pregnant a lot of people cried 

they had seen how deeply Yoongi loved all his nephews and nieces, how his face filled with adoration when he held them

they respected his and Hyejin’s wish to wait to start a family, but everyone wanted him to become a father deep down

Ara was born in January and his uncles Jimin, Hoseok and Namjoon, who only had boys, bought her the pinkiest fluffiest coats they could find

for a couple of months, the baby looked like she was drowning in pink furs 

now that she’s six months old, she sleeps through the night and she is just at that age where she doesn't understand when she has a sleepover with her cousins

Jin absolutely adores Ara

after his little-not-so-little Yoojin, Ara is the apple of his eye, and it is strange the day he doesn't visit Genius Lab too see his little niece

either that or he calls Hyejin non-stop when they have a schedule to coo at the baby

you would think Namjoon is not allowed to hold the baby, but nothing further from the truth

Yoongi trust him with his life when it comes to his daughter 

the first time she smiled, Joon was holding her to his chest and moving her little hand to say hi to her dad

Yoongi cried a little that day

Hoseok & Haneul

Jung Hyuk-Jae - Four years old

are we even surprised this boy is the happiest little boy on earth

he was born in November, a year after his parents got married

he was the first boy to be born after Yoosun and his cousin was so happy to finally be a hyung 

his eyes were always open, inquisitive and taking everything in the world in 

his mom loved strapping him to her chest and dance around the house while the two were alone, the baby moving his little legs and waving his little fists around

Hoseok would return home most days to a similar picture, feeling energised after a long day only by looking at them

Hyuk-Jae can't fall asleep without his parents caressing his chest and arms

(are we reminded of someone else)

when he feels tired, he nests into Hoseok’s chest and caresses his lips with his little finger, that’s how his dad knows he’s ready for bed

he loves drawing with his cousins, and loves teaching Moon-Jae all the letters that he has learnt in kindergarten 

when he grows up he wants Uncle Yoongi to show him how to make music and become a rapper just like his dad

when he comes from kinder, he doesn't let go of his mom for a little while, needing to spend a little quiet time so he’s ready to play with his dad when he comes home

Jimin & Kae-Hwa

Park Chimae - Three years old 

Chimae was born two weeks before Sangwoo, Tae’s son, in May

their wives tease them constantly about this, asking if they were so sneaky they planned to have children at the same time so they could be vmin 2.0

they deny it (even if they were so happy when they told each other they were having babies at the same time oooops)

Chimae is the sweetest little boy

he is just like his dad, all fluffy cheeks, smily eyes and the happiest giggle in the world

even if him and Sangwoo are not blood brothers, Jin likes to tease their fathers telling them that the babies are even closer than his twins

good luck separating them, boys

Chim ADORES his parents and his uncle Joon, always gravitating to them in a loud room, seeking comfort and warmth to cuddle

oh yeah, he’s a cuddle bug, doing that little thing, rubbing his cheek against his uncle Joon’s chest and nesting against him

he loves falling asleep between his mom and dad, holding one of their fingers in each tiny fist and feeling them close 

his mom loves to buy diminutive versions of Jimin’s outfits to have Chim dress like him 

they would both enter the studio hand in hand, sporting identical Chanel jumpers, jeans and Gucci sunglasses and no one would bat an eyelid

the poor thing has two left feet, but that doesn't stop him copying his dad’s moves to the best of his abilities

Taehyung & Iseul

Kim Nabi - Five years old

now, when Tae said he wanted a big family he wasn't joking 

he and his wife were pregnant within a month of their wedding 

Nabi was born in February, a few days after her uncle Hobi, which guaranteed huge birthday parties when she got old enough

she wanted a princesses-themed birthday party, uncle Hobi got her the dresses and was the first one there, dressed as Elsa from Frozen

she was a fussy baby, which didn't sit well with her mom, but her dad was there at all times

his insomnia actually got better once he matched his sleeping schedule with his baby’s

in a good night she would wake up maybe a couple of times, and there was Tae, bottle at the ready, singing lullabies for his little girl in his deep voice

in a bad night, well, let’s just say Tae was used to functioning on little to no sleep

even if she is the closest with Yoojin, her best friend is her cousin Nari

she insists it was fate (not her mom’s intentional choosing) that their names match so well

she has always had a soft spot for Moon-Jae and you can often find them both playing together when Chimae and Sangwoo run off somewhere to stir trouble

Kim Sangwoo - Three years old

two years after Nabi was born, just when she was starting to pick up a normal sleeping schedule, Iseul found out she was pregnant with Sangwoo

she was expecting another difficult baby and she couldn't be happier to have been wrong (at the beginning, lol)

he was quiet and happy

he loved just lying there between his sister and Chimae, babbling away 

The two boys seemed stuck at the hip, if you so much as lifted one to change his diaper, the other would scream his little lungs out

then he started crawling and OH BOY

he found out that he could see Chimae from his dad phone in the screen so he started sneakily trying to find it to call his best friend... he was only eighteen months old

where Chimae was calm, Sangwoo compensated being an active little firecracker

if you wanted to know where the two were, you just had to wait until Chimae pulled your jean leg because he thought Sangwoo was doing something dangerous

most times those dangerous things were stealing cookies from the kitchen cabinet, but our Chimae here is an innocent little angel

Jungkook & Mi-Hi

Jeon Jina - newborn

Jungkook and Mi-Hi were still young when they got married, so it made sense to wait 

besides, if an occasional burst of baby fever struck, either one of them could just call any of the other parents and offer to babysit

it stayed like that for almost six years, both Kookie and Mi-Hi being the fun aunt and uncle who bought the children candy, took them on fun rides to the park or to the beach

they were each child’s first time on Disneyland

well, it lasted until Namjoon and A-Young had Moon-Jae

Jungkook went mental for the child, he wouldn't know how to explain what went through him, but he just couldn't put the baby down

he loved all his nieces and nephews equally, but just looking at his hyung’s baby moon...

he would come home only talking about babies, showing Mi-Hi the countless pictures he had taken of Moon-Jae

she would sense that characteristic baby smell in his clothes when she hugged him

it reached a point when both of them sat down and admitted to each other how badly they wanted to start a family

it took them a while, but after nearly a year and a half, they were happily announcing they were expecting a little girl

Jina, being the youngest of the family, has everyone wrapped around her little finger

it would be difficult to tell which of her uncles is more whipped for her, Hoseok going so far as to admitting to JK that after spending so much time with the little girl, he wanted to talk to Haneul about trying for a girl

it is still way too soon to tell who she takes after, but what’s for sure is that she got her dad’s doe eyes

Permanent taglist: @preciouschimine​ @forget-me-notforever​ @annywaa​ @alpacaparkaseok @bangtan-madi 

#castlebangtan #bangtanarmynet #hyunglinenetwork #bangtan dad au #bts dad au #bts headcanons #bts dad headcanons #jamais vu teaser 2 #dreamcatcherjiah #namjoon headcanons #jin headcanons #yoongi headcanons #hoseok headcanons #jimin headcanons #taehyung headcanons #jungkook headcanons

[clearsuitcasecookienerd]

See You in the Stars (part 2)

thank y’all so much for the positive response to part 1! I loved writing it so much and I’m excited to see what y’all think of part 2. there will be a part 3, it’s currently in the works. as always a huge thank you to @lumosinlove for creating this wonderful universe and blessing us with these great characters. enjoy!!

Kasey never forgot that night. Not two days later on a plane flying to Gryffindor at night. Staring out the window at the dark sky and feeling small. Not when he went apartment shopping and his only criteria was far enough out of the city where the sky wasn’t polluted with light but close enough to the rink. Not the first night in his new apartment when he set up his bed just right so he could see out of his window to see the stars. Not the first night after he had the sky lights installed into the ceiling of his bedroom above his bed so he could see the stars before he fell asleep. Not the nights when Kasey would grab his softest blanket and go lay on his balcony and dial up the number he had memorized years ago. Not the night when Kasey realized he might be falling in love with his best friend. And especially not when Alex left Gryffindor for the first time officially as Kasey’s boyfriend. And not tonight.

Tonight, when Kasey had come home from a game with Natalie and he missed his boyfriend. It had been a long game. He had done well in the net during the first period, not letting anything in. But as his sore thigh began to act up later in the game, he had been pulled. He knew he needed to take it easy to encourage healing but it always left him frustrated. Leo had done well in the goal but after a long no score game, the opposing team had been able to score in the last minutes and the Lions had lost 0-1. They had called Alex on the way home from the game before he left for dinner with his team. With a sore thigh and a heavy heart, Kasey was ready for the day to be over.

Standing in the shower, letting the water fall across his face and down his body, all Kasey wanted was for everything to feel a bit more meaningless. He didn’t want his sore thigh to bother him as much as it did, or for the team's morale to be brought down by a loss at home. He didn’t want to feel like it was somehow his fault and if maybe his thigh hadn’t acted up he could’ve had a shutout. And he certainly didn’t want his heart to ache for his boyfriend as much as it did. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to miss Alex, it was that he didn’t want to have to miss Alex. Kasey knew it was selfish to wish his boyfriend could move to Gryffindor to be with him and Natalie but maybe it would make the hurt in his heart a little less. But he knew he couldn’t ask that. He couldn’t ask Alex to pack up the life he had created in Tampa and move to them. Maybe one day, but he couldn’t ask that now.

After his shower, wanting nothing more than to feel like his problems were more insignificant, Kasey grabbed a blanket off their bed and a hoodie that Alex had left at the house last time he visited. Making his way to the balcony off of their apartment, Kasey began to clear his mind. Under the sky nothing mattered. The sky was wide and expansive and while he knew he could get lost in it, he couldn’t help but remember Alex and see him in the stars. Sliding open the door, he threw on the hoodie and spread out the blanket. As Kasey lay down on the blanket, he nestled his nose into the neck of the sweatshirt. Closing his eyes and breathing in deep, he could still smell traces of Alex’s laundry detergent and deodorant still clinging to the fabric where they had begun to mix with Nat’s perfume. As he opened his eyes, Kasey stared up at the sky for the first time since coming home.

Slowly a frown began to cross his face. Clouds. All Kasey could see were dark, grey clouds across the sky. His sky, Alex’s sky. A sky they wouldn’t get to share tonight. Normally Kasey didn’t mind clouds, he could stare at their ever changing shapes almost as long as he could stare at the stars. But tonight, tonight it felt like they were taunting him. As if they knew how much he missed Alex and how much he ached for a night staring at the stars and imagining what it would be like to have his boyfriend beside him.

But no, tonight the sky was covered in clouds. Big, dark clouds that were sure to bring rain. It wasn’t that Kasey didn’t like clouds. The sky was great and clouds were quite the phenomenon themselves. But tonight, tonight Kasey needed the stars. Well, he wanted Alex but the stars would’ve made his heart hurt just a little less.

Sitting up, Kasey pulled the hood of their sweatshirt over his head. As he stood up and collected his blanket, Kasey took a deep breath and looked up to where he guessed the moon was.

“Love you Posie,” he murmured, searching the sky. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.”

When the sky didn’t respond, not that Kasey thought it would, but maybe he was hoping, he headed back inside and curled up in bed. Almost as if it was taunting him, Kasey could sense the sky from the windows seeping into the room. Getting back up, he crossed the room and flipped the switch that closed the blinds on the skylights above the bed. If the sky wanted to taunt him, he just wouldn’t look at it. He could still hear Natalie’s shower and her soft singing but Kasey climbed into bed and shut his eyes, somehow even more ready for tomorrow to come than he was even just a half hour before.

Without the aid of the stars that normally helped Kasey settle his mind before bed, he was faced with his thoughts. His loud, racing thoughts that wouldn’t let him forget about every moment and every feeling of the day. And they wouldn’t let him forget how much he missed Alex tonight. Rolling over, Kasey grabbed his phone from its place where he had plugged it in to charge before his shower. Still with his eyes shut, Kasey opened the bedside table searching for the closest pair of earbuds. Once his fingers found the knot of wires he knew belonged to his earbuds, he cracked open an eye and untangled them and jammed them into his phone. As his phone unlocked, Kasey stared at his screen. The picture looking back at him was one of his favorites. Frozen on his phone was Natalie, covered head to toe in flour standing in the kitchen mid laugh staring at Alex with what the boys jokingly call her heart eyes. And then there was Alex, also covered in flour that made his hair look like fiery ice with one hand on a mixer and the other reaching out to the camera as if to ask the person behind it to come help him. Kasey longed to go back to that memory. He had taken the picture and then joined his partners in the kitchen to help follow the recipe Leo had given them for cookies. Being kissed with floury lips, Kasey hadn’t even noticed that he himself was slowly being covered in flour from Natalie and Alex’s hands.

Heart aching a little more, Kasey opened his music app and selected his favorite playlist. Alex had created “For My Bear” and shared it with Kasey a month after they had officially started dating. The playlist included songs Alex liked and ones he knew Kasey liked, some of Natalie’s favorites and some from their Ranger days. Every song had a story behind it, or so Alex had said. Kasey pressed play, turned up the volume and put the buds in his ears. Rolling over, Kasey slid his phone under his pillow, cuddled himself deeper in the blankets and closed his eyes.

Even with his eyes closed, Kasey’s mind continued to race. As he began to will it to settle, his heart ached for the stars and their vast enormity that made everything less significant. Everything except for his love for Natalie and Alex, the sky could never take that from him. But tonight the sky caused his heart to feel heavy

When Natalie emerged from the shower and noticed Kasey lying on the bed in their dark room, she was confused. Normally after a rough game Kasey would go lie out on the balcony and stare at the stars. She would often bring him tea or hot chocolate and grab her book. She knew her boys had a connection with the stars and she was more than happy to just sit with Kasey while he stared into the sky. Some nights they would facetime Alex and would lie him on the blanket so he could look at the stars as well.

Tonight though, Kasey was already in bed and if the small frown etched on his face in his sleep was anything to go by, the stars hadn’t made him feel any better. Looking up, a frown crossed Natalie’s face as well. The blinds were closed on Kasey’s skylights. After dating as long as they had, Kasey had made sure to let Natalie know when she moved in that whatever was his was now hers. But Natalie sensed something special about these windows. Positioned over the bed, the blinds were always open and when in bed, Natalie often found Kasey staring at them with a smile on his face. And the number of times she’d walked into the bedroom to find Kasey and Alex cuddled together staring at the stars, she knew they were special. Seeing them shut though, this was new. Crawling into bed, she reached out and ran a hand down Kasey's back. She smiled slightly as he rolled over and tucked into her side, muttering something about how much he loved her. Noticing the earbuds coming from his ears, Natalie carefully pulled them out, paused the music and put his phone back on the table. As she settled in, she ran a hand through Kasey’s hair until she noticed his frown ease and disappear. As she closed her eyes and let sleep consume her, Kasey wasn’t the only one going to bed missing their boyfriend.

#sweater weather #lumosinlove #coast to coast #o'darwin #kasey winter #alex o'hara #natalie darcy

[astrognossienne]

tragic beauty: lupe vélez - an analysis

“I had to play with boys, girls found me too rough.” -  Lupe Vélez  

This is an analysis I’ve wanted to cover for a while for quite a few reasons. Primarily because, in a few ways, I see myself in her and, as such, feel the need to defend her and assert her true legacy: as a pioneer. Which brings me to the main reason I wanted to do this: to correct the scurrilous rumours about her premature death cooked up by a hating ass imbecilic Aquarius whose infamous book doesn’t deserve to be named. So if you want to hear the truth about this lady, read on.

Known as the “Mexican Spitfire”, Latin bombshell Lupe Vélez was (an to an extent, still is) a much-maligned and terribly misunderstood woman. A true Cancer, she was a force of nature and unconsciously antagonized others and made them uncomfortable because of her authenticity to herself and her emotional nature. Born during a storm, she had a naturally stormy personality. She could be hilarious and charismatic one moment, and depressive and vicious the next. Instead of anyone trying to understand her, they just stuck her with the “spicy fiery Latina” stereotype, not knowing or caring what was behind it. The harshness of her life before stardom may explain some of her fearsome, yet fun, personality; she grew up with violent trauma – watching her father kill and almost be killed during the Mexican Revolution. She also is believed to have had undiagnosed bipolar disorder, which would explain her extreme moodiness and outbursts.

One of the first Latina actresses to make an impact in Hollywood, she was subjected to the racist, sexist Hollywood tropes that forever typecasted her—she was called “senorita cyclone,” and the “hot tamale”. The Hollywood press willfully misunderstood Vélez’s sex positivity and consistently portrayed her as a woman who took great pleasure in her body, and indeed, the tempestuous Vélez had numerous affairs, including a particularly torrid one with a young Gary Cooper, and a tumultuous marriage to “Tarzan” star Johnny Weissmuller. But in 1944, at age 36, she found herself pregnant with the child of a little known-actor name Harald Ramond, who would not marry her and this reality made her come undone, and like my other baby Carole Landis, she succumbed to an drug overdose. Her promiscuity, right or wrong, became part of the way her stardom was packaged and promoted. Also, the press naturally compared her to (and pitted her against) Hollywood’s only other female Mexican star—the “high-class” and elegant Dolores Del Rio. The press couldn’t even find sympathy for her even in death and a false story was printed that she drowned in the toilet after vomiting up a spicy Mexican dinner. Her death is parodied and mocked to this day. Again, she’s a true Cancer in the sense that the same imperfections that everyone else has, she is seen as less than human for having them. I hope to help right that wrong by honoring Vélez for being the trailblazer that she is. At any rate, Vélez would seem to be a prototype for contemporary female stars, from Madonna to Rihanna, who have proclaimed their pleasure in their body and their sexual liberation — a pro-sex activist before her time, doomed to suffer the rejection of a more puritanical age.

Lupe Vélez, according to astrotheme, was a Cancer sun and Leo moon. She was born María Guadalupe Villalobos Vélez in San Luis Potosí, Mexico, to young upper-middle class parents. Her father, Jacobo Villalobos Reyes, was a colonel in the military, and her mother, Josefina Vélez, was an opera singer. They also had another son, John and daughter, Annette. The Villalobos family were considered prominent in San Luis Potosí and most of the male family members were college educated. The family was also financially comfortable and lived in a large home with servants. As a young girl Lupe showed an interest in performing, but her father was outraged at his daughter’s “low-class” dreams, and forbade his daughter from being in show business. All that changed during the war. Her family was in a state of upheaval—the Mexican Revolution was happening, her father had been presumed dead in the war and all their money was gone. While most of her family members were too proud to get jobs, a teenage Vélez did just that, supporting the family by working as a saleswoman in a department store. She then finagled an audition with a local theater. However, her father was indded alive and well and soon returned home from the war. Because at that time becoming an artist and coming from a well-to-do family was seen as embarrassing, her father refused to let her use his last name in theater, so she used her mother’s surname.

She proceeded to seek out venues where she could dance the then-popular “shimmy.” In 1925 she was cast in the big stage revues Mexican Rataplan and !No lo tapes! and became a big audience favourite. Her name got around to American stage star Richard Bennett (father of American film stars Constance and Joan Bennett), who was looking for a Mexican cantina singer for his new play. Lupe traveled to Hollywood but was rejected for the part for being too young. While in Hollywood, Lupe met film and stage comedienne Fanny Brice, who took a liking to Lupe because of her sparkling personality. She put in a good word for Lupe to impresario Florenz Ziegfeld (creator of the Ziegfeld’s Follies), who could use Lupe in one of his Broadway musicals. However, MGM producer Harry Rapf heard of Lupe as well, and offered her a screen test. When producer Hal Roach saw the test, he immediately signed her to a contract. Vélez soon made her major film debut in Douglas Fairbanks’ action-romance The Gaucho in 1927. The film was a huge hit and Vélez was an overnight sensation.

Along with her professional life gaining steam, so did her love life. Vélez sought out some of Hollywood’s hottest men, which wasn’t hard for a hot and sexy number like Lupe; men flocked to her like bees to honey. She was romantically linked with Gary Cooper, Charlie Chaplin, Clark Gable, cowboy Tom Mix, “Tarzan” actor Johnny Weissmuller, Errol Flynn, John Gilbert, Henry Wilcoxon, singer Russ Columbo, Randolph Scott, author Erich Maria Remarque (who wrote All Quiet On The Western Front and later married Paulette Goddard), Clayton “Lone Ranger” Moore, director Victor Fleming (director of Gone With The Wind), and boxers Jack Johnson and Jack Dempsey.

One of her first conquests was cowboy star Tom Mix. She also had an with newcomer Clark Gable, who cut off their romance because he was afraid Lupe would run all over town discussing their sexual secrets, which she did. Soon she had a torrid affair with comic genius Charlie Chaplin in 1928. Lupe revitalized Chaplin’s libido after he had gone through a torturous divorce from his wife. Whatever time she had for the many men in her life, that same appreciation didn’t extend to other women and she would frequently battle with the other females with whom she had to work with and would often threaten them; when she was starring in director D.W. Griffith’s Lady of the Pavements, she had to co-star with an actress named Jedda Goudall, whom she hated, and the two had a ferocious cat-fight on the set. When she made her final appearance on Broadway in the Cole Porter musical “You Never Know”, Vélez and fellow cast member Libby Holman feuded viciously. The feud came to a head during a performance where Vélez punched Holman in between curtain calls and gave her a black eye, which pretty much ended the run of the show. Vélez was territorial about the men in her life, she was vicious toward any woman who might be competition for her man or an acting role. She mocked Marlene Dietrich, Greta Garbo, Katharine Hepburn and Shirley Temple, and her arch nemesis Dolores Del Dio by doing imitations of them.

When she was cast in the film The Wolf Song in 1929, she met Gary Cooper and immediately started what would be her first widely publicized romance. Theirs was a one-sidedly volatile relationship; he would often appear in public with scratches and bruises. One time, she attacked him with a knife during a fight. He needed stitches. By the end of their time as a couple, Copper had lost 45 pounds and was physically exhausted.  He was ordered by the studio to take a vacation. As he boarded a train, Vélez shot at Cooper but missed. Lupe soon moved on to other men; she had a thing for fighters. In addition to having a brief fling with boxer Jack Dempsey, she conducted a flagrant, but secret, affair with the black boxer Jack Johnson. In those days, blacks and whites almost never conducted sexual affairs out in the open. She met Olympic swimming champion Johnny Weissmuller at the hotel where she was staying that was owned by film star Marion Davies. One problem: Weissmuller was already married. But no matter, he dumped his wife for Lupe and married her October 8, 1933 in Las Vegas. Theirs was not a happy, serene marriage, and they constantly battled, with Lupe filing for divorce several times in 1934 and changing her mind each time. Weissmuller’s patience was so strained he dumped a plate of salad on her head at Ciro’s nightclub. Finally, in 1938 she filed a petition that was finalized in 1939.

After having many hit pictures with MGM, they unceremoniously dropped her. The excuse was that the studios were no longer going to make Spanish versions of their films and there was no longer a need for Latin actresses. Vélez returned to Mexico in 1938 to star in her first Spanish-language film. Arriving in Mexico City, she was greeted by 10,000 fans. The film La Zandunga, was a critical and financial success and Vélez was slated to appear in four more Mexican films, but instead, she returned to Los Angeles. She soon went to RKO Studios and starred in the B-movie The Girl From Mexico. Despite its lowly status, the picture became a tremendous hit with audiences. RKO rushed her into another film, this time called Mexican Spitfire, playing an emotionally volatile singer named Carmelita. The 1940 film became another smash for Lupe. The Spitfire series of eight slapstick comedy films rejuvenated Lupe’s sagging career.  In late 1941, she had an affair with writer Erich Maria Remarque whose wife, actress Luise Rainer later wrote that Remarque told her “with the greatest of glee” that he found Vélez’s volatility hot.

At this same time Lupe took on another lover in the form of a French 27-year-old bit actor named Harald Ramond. He was a strong and controlling man who knew how to tame Lupe. After she discovered that she was three months pregnant, she announced her engagement to Ramond without his knowledge or consent. When he learned of her pregnancy, he refused to marry her. Deeply hurt and stunned, she felt backed into a corner; she knew her career would be ruined in Hollywood if word got out she was pregnant and unmarried. It just wasn’t done in those days. And despite her wildness, Lupe was a devout Catholic, so abortion was out of the question. She could see only one way out: suicide. On December 18, 1944, at the age of 36, Vélez swallowed 70 Seconal pills, she lay down on her pink satin pillow on her over-sized Hollywood bed and arranged herself like a movie star, with her hands folded across her chest and went into an eternal sleep. Dramatic to the end, Lupe went out of this world in glamorous style. She left a suicide note addressed to Harald, which read:

“To Harald, May God forgive you and forgive me too, but I prefer to take my life away and our baby’s before I bring him with shame or killing him. How could you, Harald, fake such a great love for me and our baby when all the time you didn’t want us?  I see no other way out for me so goodbye and good luck to you, Love Lupe.”

THAT is the truth. But the bottom line is: how she lived her life as well as the circumstances around her death are all irrelevant at the end of the day. What matters is the loss of a great multi-talented, pioneering Mexican star and a legacy unrealized and stunted by a world that wasn’t ready for her.

Next, I’ll talk about the most famous of her paramours, the yin to her yang, a perfect example of the special chemistry that Taureans and Cancers share, the strong, silent hero of the silver screen: Taurus Gary Cooper.

Stats

birthdate: July 18, 1908

major planets:

Sun: Cancer

Moon: Leo

Rising: Gemini

Mercury: Cancer

Venus: Leo

Mars: Pisces

Midheaven: Pisces

Jupiter: Virgo

Saturn: Aries

Uranus: Capricorn

Neptune: Cancer

Pluto: Gemini

Overall personality snapshot: She may have seemed at times to be a shy, vulnerable, romantic individual who only wanted to please, but underneath she had a voracious appetite for adoration and respect, and would not stop until she got it. Without a doubt, she had a very warm feeling for others, and domestic security with plenty of happy togetherness is high on her list of priorities. When it came to cooperation with others, however, she had her limits because she was profoundly individualistic and, albeit in a charming manner, she insisted on doing things her way. Ultimately the most important thing for her was believing in herself and being true to her standards and aspirations. Most of all, she needed to fulfill her creative potential, which was like an intimate companion with whom she shared her life. You nurture it, protect it, and then you show it off, and whatever walk of life you are in, you tend to be a fine performer.

This gave her a lot of self-respect and a touch of vanity as well, and her emotional sensitivity combined with her underlying imperiousness tended to impress others and made them take her seriously. She was a devoted member of her flock, and she zealously and jealously protected and promoted whomever she was devoted to. When it came to developing her own talents, however, she seemed to know that she had to pull away in order to grow into her greatest self. Others may have thought she was a bit of a show-off but that was not the case: she simply had a deep sense of the importance of her own creative talents, and she felt only half alive if she did not honour them. Although she was pretty sensitive to criticism or rebuffs, she was just as committed to honesty and personal integrity; and despite her vanity, she eventually learned to laugh at herself.

She had a very good memory and found it easy to learn subjects that interested her. She was very kind and thoughtful towards others. Her imagination was very keen, but if it got carried away, she may have experienced irrational fears. Even though she may have tried to maintain a scientific and objective outlook, her mind was actually dominated by her emotions. When it came to careers, she may have felt initially vague or confused about what she really wanted to do. She was eventually forced to give up her career of choice by events out of her control (as was evidenced by the tides turning from the “Mexican spitfire” female ideal due to the changing of the times). There was probably some element of self-sacrifice involved somewhere in her choice of career (the element of sacrifice being that she had to sacrifice her child, and ultimately her life, in relation to her reputation as an unwed mother as well as her unborn child’s reputation as an illegitimate child). She had good technical and scientific ability due to her, at times almost fanatical, attention to detail. She was also fastidious when it came to matters of health, diet and appearance. She was not afraid of work and was very resourceful and capable. She also worked well in a team. She became very annoyed if somebody else questioned the way that she operated. Her energy levels were somewhat inhibited, her self-confidence reduced, and her ambitions restricted through fear of failure. Times of strength and weakness alternated within her. Even though her decision-making ability could be ineffectual through over-caution, she often seemed to be placed in situations where a quick decision was needed. When she succeeded, it was mainly through her own efforts. She also showed a tendency towards wanting to start at the top, wanting to avoid the hard work that gets you there.

She belonged to a generation with a rational and logical attitude to life. There was a conflict between tradition and convention, and the experimental and unconventional. As an individual, she had to learn to strike a balance between the erratic and the conventional. As a member of this generation, she had the ability to come up with original ideas which could be of practical value. She was part of a very artistically talented and creative generation that wanted to escape from the demands of the world around them into a world of excitement and glamour. She was part of an emotionally sensitive generation that was extremely conscious of the domestic environment and the atmosphere surrounding her home place and home country. In fact, she could be quite nostalgic about her homeland, religion and traditions, often seeing them in a romantic light. She felt a degree of escapism from everyday reality, and was very sensitive to the moods of those around her. Bow embodied all of these Cancer Neptunian ideals. As a Gemini Plutonian, she was mentally restless and willing to examine and change old doctrines, ideas and ways of thinking. As a member of this generation, she showed an enormous amount of mental vitality, originality and perception. Traditional customs and taboos were examined and rejected for newer and more original ways of doing things. As opportunities with education expanded, she questioned more and learned more. As a member of this generation, having more than one occupation at a time would not have been unusual to her.

Love/sex life: It wasn’t easy to be passionate and emotionally explosive and also hold on to her dignity, but this was what she wanted to accomplish. She tried to conceal the pulsating softness of her sexual nature behind a façade of control and bluster. She thought that her display of strength and jolly self-confidence would hide her vulnerability and her susceptibility to virtually any sexual diversion. Of course, no one was really buying this cover up. They saw the luscious edges of her erotic hunger peeking through her disguise. That’s why they were all so anxious to be around her. The biggest problem in her sex life was how to deal with change. She loved it and she hated it. She loved following the lead of her feelings and surrendering herself to the moment. Too much consistency, even loving consistency, was apt to leave her bored and dissatisfied. But she also saw change as a threat to her sense of control and to the emotional security that she valued so highly. Because of this duality in her thinking, her reaction to changes in her sex life was abrupt, contradictory, and (horror of horrors) a little undignified.

minor asteroids and points:

North Node: Gemini

Lilith: Libra

Vertex: Scorpio

Fortune: Gemini

East Point: Gemini

Her North Node in Gemini dictated that she needed to prevent her idealism from influencing her thoughts to such a high degree. She needed to consciously develop a more clear-minded and analytical approach involving her thought processes. Her Lilith in Libra was definitely working overtime here. Relationships somehow caused her to err, and her partner choices caused much suffering.   She expressed herself through others. As a lover, she was aggressive, yet co-dependent. As a mistress, she was not above trying to cause a divorce, which she did with Johnny Weissmuller and she ultimately became fatally despondent when she found herself pregnant with a bit actor's baby. She used her good looks as a weapon to help her get ahead in the movie industry. Also, Lilith in Libra strangely enough, manifested itself as a sort of lighter female Capricorn archetype, and she pulled herself up by the bootstraps in a rather glamorous way, going to work after her father left the family unit. As such, she exhibited graceful gumption right until the very end. Her Vertex in Scorpio, 5th house dictated that she had a desire or continual need for feeling irresistible and irreplaceable on all levels of intimacy, whether spiritual, intellectual, emotional, or physical. From the fires of hell to the heights of heaven, the  further and deeper the range of interaction she could experience with another the more fulfilling. She had a childlike orientation, in all of its manifestations, toward relationships on an internal level. That implicit trust, or perhaps naivete, that was instilled in our  childhood persisted far into maturity. The concomitant explosions and  occasional tantrums when these constructs are violated also accompany  this position. She had a need for fun, creativity, and excitement in a  committed relationship, no matter how many years it has endured. She often had deep fears, typical of children, of abandonment, as well as a need for universal acceptance, no matter how she acted, which she needed her partner to respect and nurture, rather than rebuke, especially in adulthood. Her Part of Fortune in Gemini and Part of Spirit in Sagittarius dictated that her destiny lay in travel, education and communication. She was able to overcome enemies by her words and by her writing. Happiness and fulfillment came from being able to express herself fully. Her soul’s purpose lay in seeking truth, justice and fairness. She felt spiritual connections and saw the spark of the divine when she studied, broadened her mind through new philosophies, or looked for inspiration outside the home. East Point in Gemini dictated that she was often insatiably curious and loved to collect little bits of (what seemed to be useless) information and trivia. Her interests were quite varied, and she may have been somewhat scattered. Sometimes her curiosity could appear cold and callous as her level of objectivity was potentially high. There was usually an openness to learning in any situation.      

elemental dominance:

water

fire

She had high sensitivity and elevation through feelings. Her heart and  her emotions were her driving forces, and she couldn’t do anything on earth if she didn’t feel a strong effective charge. She  needed to love in order to understand, and to feel in order to take action, which caused a certain vulnerability which she should (and often did) fight against. She was dynamic and passionate, with strong leadership ability. She generated enormous warmth and vibrancy. She was exciting to be around, because she was genuinely enthusiastic and usually friendly. However, she could either be harnessed into helpful energy or flame up and cause destruction. Ultimately, she chose the latter. Confident and opinionated, she was fond of declarative statements such as “I will do  this” or “It’s this way.” When out of control—usually because she was  bored, or hadn’t been acknowledged—she was bossy, demanding, and even tyrannical. But at her best, her confidence and vision inspired others  to conquer new territory in the world, in society, and in themselves.    

modality dominance:

mutable

She wasn’t particularly interested in spearheading new ventures or dealing with the day-to-day challenges of organization and management. She excelled at performing tasks and producing outcomes. She was flexible and liked to finish things. Was also likely undependable, lacking in initiative, and disorganized. Had an itchy restlessness and an unwillingness to buckle down to the task at hand. Probably had a chronic inability to commit—to a job, a relationship, or even to a set of values.                    

house dominants:

2nd

3rd

1st

The material side of life  including money and finances, income and expenditure, and worldly goods was emphasized in her life. Also the areas of innate resources, such as her self-worth, feelings and emotions were paramount in her life. What she considered her personal security and what she desired was also paramount. Short journeys, traveling within her own country were themes  throughout her life; her immediate environment, and relationships with her siblings, neighbours and friends were of importance. The way her mental processes operated, as well as the manner and style in which she communicated was emphasized in her life. As such, much was revealed about her schooling and childhood and adolescence. Her personality, disposition and temperament is highlighted in her life. The manner in which she expressed herself and the way she approached other people is also highlighted. The way she approached new situations and circumstances contributed to show how she set about her life’s goals. The general state of her health is also shown, as well as her early childhood experiences defining the rest of her life.  

planet dominants:

Neptune

Mercury

Sun

She was of a contemplative nature, particularly receptive to ambiances, places, and people. She gladly cultivated the art of letting go, and allowed the natural unfolding of events to construct her world. She followed her inspirations, for better or for worse. She was intellectual, mentally quick, and had excellent verbal acuity. She dealt in terms of logic and reasoning. It was likely that she was left-brained. She was restless, craved movement, newness, and the bright hope of undiscovered terrains. She had vitality and creativity, as well as a strong ego and was authoritarian and powerful. She likely had strong leadership qualities, she definitely knew who she was, and she had tremendous will. She met challenges and believed in expanding her life.

sign dominants:

Cancer

Gemini

Leo

At first meeting, she seemed enigmatic, elusive. She needed roots, a place or even a state of mind that she could call  her own. She needed a safe harbor, a refuge in which to retreat for solitude. She was generally gentle and kind, unless she was hurt. Then she could become vindictive and sharp-spoken. She was affectionate, passionate, and even possessive at times. She was intuitive and was  perhaps even psychic. Experience flowed through her emotionally. She was often moody and always changeable; her interests and social circles shifted constantly. She was emotion distilled into its purest form. She ventured out to see what else was there and seized upon new ideas that expanded her community. Her innate curiosity kept her on the move. She used her rational, intellectual mind to explore and understand her personal world. She needed to answer the single burning question in her mind: why? This applied to most facets of her life, from the personal to the impersonal. This need to know sent her off to foreign countries, where her need to explore other cultures and traditions ranked high. She was changeable and often moody. This meant that she was often at odds with herself—the mind demanding one thing, the heart demanding the opposite. To someone else, this internal conflict often manifested as two very different people. She loved being the center of attention and often surrounded herself with admirers. She had an innate dramatic sense, and life was definitely her stage. Her flamboyance and personal magnetism extended to every facet of her life. She wanted to succeed and make an impact in every situation. She was, at her best, optimistic, honorable, loyal, and ambitious.      

Read more about her under the cut.

Lupe Velez was born on July 18, 1908, in San Luis Potosi, Mexico, as Maria Guadalupe Villalobos Velez. She was sent to Texas at the age of 13 to live in a convent. She later admitted that she wasn't much of a student because she was so rambunctious. She had planned to become a champion roller skater, but that would change. Life was hard for her family, and Lupe returned to Mexico to help them out financially. She worked as a salesgirl for a department store for the princely sum of $4 a week. Every week she would turn most of her salary over to her mother, but she kept a little for herself so she could take dancing lessons. With her mature shape and grand personality, she thought she could make a try at show business, which she figured was a lot more glamorous than dancing or working as a salesclerk. In 1924 Lupe started her show business career on the Mexican stage and wowed audiences with her natural beauty and talent. By 1927 she had emigrated to Hollywood, where she was discovered by Hal Roach, who cast her in a comedy with Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy. Douglas Fairbanks then cast her in his feature film The Gaucho (1927) with himself and wife Mary Pickford. Lupe played dramatic roles for five years before she switched to comedy. In 1933 she played the lead role of Pepper in Hot Pepper (1933). This film showcased her comedic talents and helped her to show the world her vital personality. She was delightful. In 1934 Lupe appeared in three fine comedies: Strictly Dynamite (1934), Palooka (1934) and Laughing Boy (1934). By now her popularity was such that a series of "Mexican Spitfire" films were written around her. She portrayed Carmelita Lindsay in Mexican Spitfire (1940), Mexican Spitfire Out West (1940), The Mexican Spitfire's Baby (1941) and Mexican Spitfire's Blessed Event (1943), among others. Audiences loved her in these madcap adventures, but it seemed at times that she was better known for her stormy love affairs. She married one of her lovers, Johnny Weissmuller, but the marriage only lasted five years and was filled with battles. Lupe certainly did live up to her nickname. She had a failed romance with Gary Cooper, who never wanted to wed her. By 1943 her career was waning. She went to Mexico in the hopes of jump-starting her career. She gained her best reviews yet in the Mexican version of Naná (1944). Bolstered by the success of that movie, Lupe returned to the US, where she starred in her final film as Pepita Zorita, Ladies' Day (1943). There were to be no others. On December 13, 1944, tired of yet another failed romance, with a part-time actor named Harald Maresch, and pregnant with his child, Lupe committed suicide with an overdose of Seconal. She was only 36 years old. (x)

#lupe velez #cancer #star analyses #astrology #long ass post #tragic beauty #mine