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iliveiloveiwrite · 4 years

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Together

Request: Okay, so the reader is Bellatrix's daughter. And she's from Slytherin. And Neville has always hated for obvious reasons, but over the years she eventually fell for him. And this can be set in like the last film. So right before the trio comes to Hogwarts, Bellatrix could have tortured Hermione plus the reader because the reader chose to help the trio and they take her with her to Hogwarts for the battle. And she's injured and stuff, and Neville sees her, and Harry tells them what happened, how her own mother tortured her and Neville takes her to the hospital wing with him to look after her and then they eventually fight the battle together, and end up kissing in the end. - @obsessedwithrandomthings

A/N: My first Neville request - I loved writing this, I truly did. I really hope you enjoy it and I hope I’ve done it justice. You’re an absolute star for all of the support you have given in the last two weeks. Requests are still open and here's a shameless plug for my writing challenge :)

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Reader

Warnings: Please do not read if any of the following are a trigger: angst, descriptions of violence/torture, shitty families, descriptions of depression, swearing, mentions of blood.

Word count: 2.7k

“Neville, is everything okay?” You ask, watching him read and reread the instructions for making the potion. You knew it was his weakest subject – something the head of your house never failed to remind him of.

He grits his teeth, “Everything is fine. Leave me alone.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind helping.”

“I’m sure. Leave me alone, Lestrange.” He spits.

You back off with a sigh, leaving him to it. The lesson swiftly finishes after that. Grabbing your books, you cast a long look at the boy who had unexpectedly captured your heart. He packs up his equipment slowly, disheartened after his potion failed. You resist the urge to go over to him; to attempt any form of comfort knowing that it would be rebuffed the point of humiliation on your end. Luckily, he’s soon surrounded by Harry, Ron and Hermione – all offering words of support.

You couldn’t help but feel jealous. Jealous of having such a tightknit friend group, jealous of them having his attention in a positive light.

You grip your textbooks that little bit tighter as you leave the classroom, cursing your house and your family.

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The feelings you had for Neville were far from platonic; falling for him hard in Fourth Year when you saw how dedicated he was to Herbology. It was a sick twist of fate that you had fallen in love with the very boy who had more than enough reason to despise your very being, but nevertheless, you remained pining after the one thing that would always be out of reach.

It hurt to admit yourself that it would always remain one sided; always unrequited. He wouldn’t love you back; he couldn’t. You were a Slytherin and Bellatrix Lestrange’s daughter – a name and curse that you would carry around until death was ready to greet you.

There was no relationship between you and your mother; she had dropped you off on the Malfoy’s doorstep before you had turned one, leaving you to be raised by your aunt and uncle. Bellatrix had never been maternal; you were simply the side effect to her marriage to your father who had also never cared for you. It was rough, it was damaging but you knew that if left in the care of your biological parents, your situation would be much more dire.

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There was no other way to put it: shit had hit the fan. Draco had joined the Death Eaters; against his will or not, you couldn’t tell yet.

Dumbledore died; Hogwarts descended into mourning.

Your mother broke out of Azkaban.

How you were still standing was a miracle.

After the death of the beloved Headmaster of Hogwarts; your family closed ranks. Pulling you from your education, bringing you to Malfoy Manor where you are the unfortunate witness to the extremism preached by the Dark Lord and followed blindly by your fanatic of a mother. The more you saw, the further you pulled away.

You spend your days at the manor avoiding the crowds of Death Eaters. Thinking and worrying over Neville – was he okay? What was he dealing with at Hogwarts?. Dread spreads slowly through your veins as you think of him; worry settles deep in your gut. You never even got to say goodbye to him. Your breath hitches and a lump forms in your throat when you realise your last conversation with the boy you had so recklessly fallen in love with was a distant memory of a cauldron and cross words.

You would always be thankful to Narcissa and Lucius for opening their arms and their home to you; for raising you and loving you when your own mother was incapable of the act. But as you watched them meet with his followers; continue to believe his philosophy, you knew that there was nothing left for you here.

You needed the perfect opportunity to leave; you needed to find the right timing. Luckily, snatchers had found Harry, Ron and Hermione in a forest and had apparated them to the Manor you once held so close to your heart.

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Bellatrix pulls on your hair; dragging you to the figure kneeling in the centre of the room, forcing you to your knees. You yelp in pain but that only makes her pull harder. “Draco couldn’t identify who this is. Can you?”

You stare at Harry; heavily disfigured from the charm no doubt cast by Hermione. It’s still so clearly him; you could recognise him anywhere, but you would not identify him, you would not sell him out.

“No,” You whimper, “I don’t know who this is, but it isn’t Harry Potter.”

“LIAR!” Your mother shouts, shoving you to the floor. You can hear the distant shouts from Harry as he’s taken to where Ron and Luna are.

You bite your lip to try and stall the tears that will surely fall as a result of your mother’s punishment. You wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of her seeing the extent of your pain just yet.

Dread pools in your stomach as Bellatrix flips you onto your pack; pinning your left arm to the floor by a knee into your elbow.

“She’s your daughter! What do you think you’re doing, Bellatrix?” Narcissa asks, tears welling at the sight before her.

Her niece laid on the floor with Bellatrix straddling you, wand ready to permanently mark your skin.

“She’s no daughter of mine,” Bellatrix declares, “She is not worthy of the name Lestrange. She’s a traitor and will be marked as such.”

Narcissa forces herself to watch Bellatrix burn the word into your skin. She forces herself to commit your screams to memory, so she never forgets the exact moment where she failed you.

You lie there, convulsing from the pain. Through the blur of your tears, you make out the word ‘traitor’ scrawled messily into your arm, blood trickling from each letter. You see your mother stalking towards Hermione, cackling.

“No!” The word leaves your lips as you realise that your mother is going to subject Hermione to the same torture you had just received.

Your mother turns at the sound of your voice, hissing, “Who do you think you are? Talking to me like that? You’re nothing but a traitor – betraying your family. You would rather hinder the Dark Lord’s cause than help.”

Pain overwhelms your body, and some small voice in the back of your mind registers that your mother has used the Cruciatus Curse on you. Your vision becomes blotchy and you’re indistinctly aware of Hermione’s scream before you fall into the welcoming darkness.

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You’re vaguely aware of the funeral for Dobby; you’re vaguely aware of the refuge at the safe house by the beach.

The duvet cover is scratchy as you wrap it around your body; staring at the wall, gazing into nothing. You’re distantly aware of Harry and Ron checking on you every hour or so but there’s nothing for you to say. There are no tears left to cry at this time; everything you had known had been left on the cold stone floor of Malfoy Manor.

Time becomes irrelevant as you continue to stare at the wall. You don’t know how long you lay there, but Hermione joins you. She lays in front of you, blocking your view of the wall. Your eyes focus in on her face; her eyes swollen and red from crying, flecks of dried blood dot her cheeks from the scratches littering her face after running through a forest.

Nothing is said; no words of comfort are offered but there is now silent understanding between the two of you. She simply puts a hand on the stretch of duvet separating you both; knowing that the last thing you need is to be touched, but that you do need somebody.

You make your first movement in days; placing your hand above Hermione’s.

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Neville’s heart stops the minute he sees you on the other end of the portrait at The Hog’s Head Inn. He never got to say goodbye to you; he never got to apologise for every cross word he had ever thrown at you. He feels the fool for realising his feelings for you too late; he believed that if he accepted his feelings for a Slytherin, he would be betraying his family, but he soon came to know that his family would be proud of him no matter who stood at his side. And all he wanted by his side, was you.

Neville’s eyes run over you from head to toe. You’re a shell of your former self; your right hand permanently resides on your left forearm, keeping it close and safe – protecting something or hiding something. He can’t decipher which one yet.

He can practically feel the wall you’re building around yourself; hiding yourself from questions, looks. Trying to get through this war without any more damage to yourself.

He wants to say something to you, but doesn’t know what to say, what to do. He screws his hands into fists, desperately resisting the urge to pull you into his arms, to whisper promises of a happier future, to try to bring a smile to your face. Instead, he greets you all before leading you back to Hogwarts; back to home.

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“Harry, what the hell happened?” Neville demands the minute they arrive at Hogwarts, pulling The Chosen One to one side, keeping his voice low should you hear anything.

“It was bad,” Harry starts, “Bellatrix tortured both (Y/N) and Hermione – marking their arms, using the Cruciatus Curse. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget their screams.”

The colour drains from Neville’s face, “ (Y/N)’s own mother?”

Harry nods, “She disowned (Y/N) as well. It was brutal.”

Neville nods, turning away from Harry to walk to you. He kneels in front of you, placing his hands on your knees, his thumb rubbing comforting circles, not missing the slight cringe at the touch, “Come on. We’re going to the hospital wing.”

You nod, silently getting your feet, following him from the room.

The hospital wing is empty when you arrive; completely silent with no sign of Madam Pomfrey. Neville walks you towards a vacant bed, helps you sit down before gathering a first aid kit from the cupboard at the end of the row.

“Harry told me what happened at Malfoy Manor. I can’t believe your own mother would do this.”

“I can.” You whisper, voice hoarse from disuse.

The silence that falls between the two of you isn’t awkward, isn’t painful. It’s comfortable, it’s natural. There is so much Neville wants to say; wants to confess, but as he looks at you, he simply whispers: “I need to look at your arm.”

You shake your head, your right hand clamping down on the long sleeve of your shirt, making it clear that he will not be seeing the word scrawled into your flesh. There was a lot you could cope with; these last few weeks have proved that, but you knew deep down, that you could not cope with Neville’s reaction to seeing the hateful word now permanently marring your skin.

“I need to make sure there’s no infection.” Neville continues, making his case.

“We put a dittany on it before we apparated to Hogsmeade, I’ll be fine.”

“Let me make sure that you’ve put enough on then. You have nothing to fear from me.” Neville murmurs, looking you in the eyes, keeping eye contact so you can see the concern swirling there. He’s worried about me, you think, he wants to know if I’m okay.

It’s this thought that has you pulling the sleeve of your shirt to your elbow. You watch Neville closely, gaging his reaction to mess on your arm. He stills at the sight of it; his hand wraps around your wrist, pulling your arm closer to get a better view.

“Oh god, (Y/N).”

You yank your arm back, cradling it to your chest, “I don’t need your pity, Neville.”

“It’s not pity. I’m feeling many things, but pity is not one of them. I’m angry, so angry at your family for allowing this to happen to you, that I wasn’t there to help. But you survived this; you survived torture by your own mother. You’re the strongest person I know, I am in awe of you.”

Tears fall freely down your cheeks; Neville raises a hand to wipe them away. You stare at each other, both coming to the realisation at the same time. There was something unspoken between the two of you that needed to be addressed.

Neville opens his mouth, ready to tell you what he has felt the very day you left to join your family.

He doesn’t get a chance.

Voldemort begins his sack of Hogwarts.

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The battle is endless; it’s brutal, it’s bloody and it’s ceaseless. Bodies litter the school, and you barely hold back a sob as you recognise the bodies of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks – your heart breaks as you think of their baby, now an orphan.

Walking through the Great Hall, you take note of the other bodies, making sure that you never see his. Double and triple checking that Neville was not among the dead. Something lifts in your chest when you realise he is not. The last time you had seen the proud Gryffindor was when he ran from the hospital wing to the wooden walkway; your heart had been in your throat through the entire battle. You find him in the entryway to the castle.

The sword of Godric Gryffindor glimmers like starlight as Neville wields the weapon; using it to cut off the head of Voldemort’s beloved snake Nagini. The snake’s head spins into the air before falling with a thud onto the stairs of the entrance hall of the school the sword’s owner founded. The Dark Lord’s mouth open in a silent scream of fury as Frank and Alice Longbottom’s son finally gained the retribution he had so desperately desired for as long as he could remember.

The once proud castle stands in ruins as you face the Dark Lord and his followers. Some sick part of you seeks out your mother, hoping to lock eyes with her before you remember that she was killed by Molly Weasley. Molly would be added to your Christmas Card list the moment the battle was over. Cries and sobs break out across students and teachers alike as they see the body of The Boy Who Lived being so lovingly carried by the very man who had collected him from the ruins of his childhood home.

Neville breaks from the crowd, fearlessly facing the remainders of the Death Eater and their hateful leader, and right there you are reminded for why you fell in love with Neville Longbottom.

“I’d like to say something. Doesn’t matter that Harry’s gone. People die every day… Yeah, we lost Harry tonight, but he is still with us where it matters. So are Fred, Remus and Tonks – they did not die in vain. But you will!...”

Gasps break out across both parties as Harry reveals himself to be alive, and all hell breaks loose as Voldemort and Harry begin their final duel.

You run towards Neville. Gripping his hand you implore him to look at you. He does so, taking it upon yourself to pull him from any more immediate danger.

“What are you doing!?” Neville shouts, wondering why he’s being pulled into the entryway to the school.

“I won’t lose anyone else, Longbottom, do you understand that? I cannot lose you too.” You shout, your voice breaking from the emotion falling from your mouth.

Neville doesn’t reply; he doesn’t need to. He grabs your face in his hands, bringing your lips to his in a kiss. It’s messy, it’s a clash of teeth and tongues. For a first kiss, it isn’t romantic, it isn’t sweet, and in the middle of a battle isn’t where you imagined it happening. It’s pure need and emotion falling from the both of you, but it’s enough. You paw at each other; the need to feel the other almost overwhelms you both.

“Don’t leave me, whatever happens we do it together.” You plead, pulling away for breath.

“I won’t. Not now, not ever. We do it all together.”

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10 Years Later:

The scar remains, marring your arm.

But on the days you can feel the heavy press of memories long wished to be forgotten; your husband draws you in wrapping his arms around you, pressing kiss after kiss to your face, to your neck, to the mark on your arm.

He reminds you every time the wave of memories threaten to overwhelm: you survived, you overcame and you would only get stronger.

*****

Harry Potter (general) taglist: @the-hufflefluffwriter

#neville longbottom x reader #neville longbottom #neville longbottom fanfic #neville longbottom x you #neville longbottom x y/n #neville longbottom fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #neville longbottom one shot #the lightning era #My writing #neville longbottom imagine #neville x reader #neville x y/n #neville x you #harry potter x reader

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im-a-simp1 · 3 years

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More Than Meets The Eye: Part 1: Esmeray

Summary: Y/n goes to Midtown Tech for her first day of school but that is not the only first that happens to her

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: Cute awkward teenagers, there are some subtle hints of male dominance(no abuse actually happens but there could be some triggering to people so please beware of that)

*I know I haven’t posted this part in awhile, I just finished finals which were a pain in the butt

Series Materlist

Masterlist

Y/n POV

I take a final look at my outfit for my first day of school at Midtown Tech. It’s been weird that I haven’t been at school for about 5 to 6 months, well my dad says it’s because of my powers. He said that after curing me, it gave me powers as a side effect. I had the ability to poison anything at the touch of my hand. Before I could go anywhere, I needed to learn to control it. I had to learn how to touch things without poisoning them. After months of practicing controlling it, I finally got it under wraps, for the most part. As I looked at the mirror, putting the final touches to my outfit, I was ready. I had my hair curled, wore my favorite oversized crew neck that was a basic dark green crew neck but it was super comfy. I wore my ripped jeans to match with it. With just a light makeup look of some foundation and mascara, I was set. I grabbed my backpack and started making my way down the stairs, my dad meets me at the bottom.

“Are you excited for your first day of school?” He asks

“I am. More importantly I’m ready to get out of the house. I feel myself going crazy looking at the same walls.”

“I know you have been patient and have been working really hard on controlling your powers” I look down at my hands, I am praying that they don’t fail me today. If I mess up, I am most likely never leaving the house ever again.

“Oh speaking of I got something for you” he turns around and grabs a pair of black gloves and hands them to me.

“You're joking right?”

“I’m sorry Y/n but you have to wear them. They are designed to help control your powers. It’s just for safety precautions”

“But dad, no one wears gloves. Everyone is going to think I’m weird and that’s not really the reputation I am going for”

“And no one else else has powers like you do so you are going to wear them even if they aren’t cool” he put air quotations at the last word there.

I groaned at him. I get that he is trying to protect me but this is going to be a problem at school, people are going to ask questions.

“How long do I have to wear gloves for”

“It is just till when I think it is safe enough”. Wait hold on. Um how will he know when he isn’t even there to see if it is “safe”.

“And what will I say if people ask why I wear gloves? Because people will definitely will be asking”

“Just come up with something like oh I don’t know, maybe you burnt your hands recently I don’t know and I don’t care and all I know is that you are wearing the gloves. End of discussion” He said the last part more sterningly. I knew that I wasn’t going to win this argument.

I rolled my eyes and put on the gloves. Thankfully they were actually pretty comfortable, hopefully they stay that way for the rest of the school day. I get them on and my dad and I walk to the car.

“Hey where’s Harry?” I asked Dad

“He is going to a boarding school this year”

“Why?”

“Don’t worry about it kiddo”

It was odd that Harry was going to boarding school, he is a nice well behaved teen, well it seemed like it, I didn’t really know to be honest. Harry and I barely even talked, Harry didn’t seem like he was a big fan of me. Every time he saw me enter the same room as him he would roll his eyes and walk out of the room and times where he is forced to be in the same room as me, he barely looked or spoke to me. Did I do something that offended him? I know I’m adopted and that I’m not his sister biologically but he acts like he disgusts me. Even if I had done anything to him I wouldn't have remembered. Dad said that when he cured me, apparently one of the side effects was that I don’t have any recollection of my long term memory before waking up in a chamber. Another side effect was that when I touch things, they die. I hate it so much, I couldn’t touch anything for the longest time. When I touched a plant, it died. When a butterfly landed on my hand when it flew into my room, it died. I even almost killed someone because I forgot about it and went to shake someone’s hand once but thankfully my dad stopped me. After months of learning how to control my powers, I got it under control, for the most part. Sometimes I lose my focus and slip up. I hate when slip up happens. Not only do I get mad at myself but my father gets mad at me too, which is ten times worse. Maybe it is a good thing to wear these gloves, I don't want people to think that I am going to kill them with the touch of my hands. Dad’s chauffeur, George, met us at the car. He opened the door for my dad and I and we got in. I was fortunate to live in a home that was wealthy enough to help me save from my sickness and have resources to help me control my powers. We were silent the majority of the time as Geroge was driving us to my school.

“Hey Dad, you talk about how I had this sickness when you cured me, which I am grateful for but what was my sickness again”

He turns his head slowly towards me and looks at me for a moment. I can see the deliberation in his eyes.

“It was a rare disease that they had recently discovered. With it being recently discovered, the doctors had no cure for it, that is when I took on the challenge. I created the cure but it came with some big sacrifices.” He took my hands into his. I knew what the sacrifices were, he didn’t need to tell me.

“Thank you, for telling me and saving me”

“Of course, anything for you” He leans and kisses me on my temple. We pull up to the front of the school. As I was about to get out of the car, my dad grabbed my arm stopping me before I could get out.

“Oh and Y/n, one more thing”

“Yeah what is it?”

“People can’t know that I am your father”

“And why is that?”

“Let’s just say that kids would treat you very differently if they found out that you were my daughter”

“But I have always been your daughter, won’t people have already known that? I know I may not remember but they will. I mean didn’t do junior high with them?”

“Y/n we moved here not too long before you got sick. So no one who you are because you didn’t grow up with them or that you are my daughter.”

“So no one knows that I am a daughter of a multi millionaire?”

“Nope” he said with a little too much joy from what I saw. “Your new last name is y/l/n. I have already taken care of your records at the schools office. Trust me you don’t want people knowing I’m your dad. It’s for the best.”

“And why is that?” I questioned him, wanting a more specific answer. I have always gotten vague answers from him whenever I ask questions and I am getting sick of it.

“Someday you will know why but for now people can’t know okay?” His grip on my arm gets a little bit more strong.

“Okay fine. I won’t” I rip my arm out from him. I exit the car before he can tell me anything else I can or can not do, the do’s and don’ts list keeps becoming bigger and bigger.

“Have a good day!” He shouts as the car leaves.

I turn around to face the school. All of a sudden my nerves kick in all at once. I am going into this big new school. Knowing that I will be the new girl that has no friends, no guidance. I hoped that Harry could give me, obviously that didn’t work out. Even if he was here I don’t know if he would help me. He would have been nice enough to at least tell me where the office was but no he wasn’t here. I entered the school and was immediately overwhelmed with how many students there were. It seemed that people were constantly bumping into each other as they passed people in the hallway. I looked around to see any kind of guidance of where to go and saw a sign that said office with an arrow sign right next to it. Well that’s a good start.

Peter’s POV

I was walking with Ned through the crowded hallways on our way to our first class.

“How was your weekend” Ned asked

“It was alright, didn’t do a whole lot. Just homework and stopping criminals” I smiled. Even though Ned accidentally found out about my secret, it has been nice to talk to someone about it.

“I heard, the robbery you saved was all over the news.”

He replied as we were stepping into our class. I didn’t even get 3 steps into the class when Mr. Harrington stopped me.

“Peter I need you to go to the office for me. There is a new student today and you have been asked to guide them today.”

“Isn’t that like an ASB president job or something? ”Mr. Harrington looked at Peter confused, with the comment that was so not like Peter.

“It’s not that I am trying to be rude or anything I really not but I’m not the best person to show people around the school.” Plus I really don’t need someone to tagging along with me watching my every move, I am fearful enough that someone else is going to figure out my secret.

“Well that is true, about the ASB part, and maybe a little on you not being the best guide but they have most of their classes with you and I have already volunteered you so you have to do it” Mr. Harrington replied.

Great.

I walked out of the classroom and made my way down to the office, the hallway was getting less crowded with people slowly entering their classrooms. As I was making my way down, I realized that Mr. Harrington said the new student had most of my classes, not all. As long as we don’t have chemistry together, we will be okay. I needed to make web shooters today and that wasn’t going to happen if the new student was nearby, watching my every move. As I entered the office, I was greeted by the receptionist.

“What brings you in here today?” The lady said with a very monotone voice not even looking up at me.

“Um hi, I am here to show the new student-“

“Peter!” The principal came around the corner, catching me a little off guard.

“Principal Morita! You scared me there for a second.”

“Oh sorry about that Peter. Anyway I wanted to introduce you to our new student y/n y/l/n.”

Oh. My. God.

I was speechless. Noises around me were drained out as I stared at her. She is one if not the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She has the most beautiful y/e/c, they literally sparkle and y/h/l y/h/c is gorgeous soft looking hair I have ever seen. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I started to hear faint noises that were trying to catch my attention.

“Peter… Peter are you with us” was I heard from Principal Morita that caused me to snap back to reality.

“Um yeah I um I’m here” looking at the principal to clarify that he was with them. I can feel the redness growing on my cheeks. Great.

“Good I thought we lost you there for a second” he chuckled as I felt my face turn even more red than before. I realized I haven’t even talked to her yet.

“Um yeah sorry I haven’t introduced myself I’m Peter Parker” as I reach my hand out to shake her hand.

“Hi Peter, I’m y/n. It’s nice to meet you” as she reaches for my hand, she seemed a little hesitant at first but once we made our hands touch she seemed to be relieved. I noticed that she was wearing gloves which I thought were old but it seemed inappropriate to ask her about it right now.

“It’s nice to meet you t-too” he starts to stubble on his words. This usually happens when he gets nervous.

“So um shall we get to class? I think classes may have started” she more asked then stated.

“Oh yes you two go on, don’t want to be more last then you already are” Principal Morita says as he is shooing is out of his office.

“I g-guess we shall,” I replied as we start walking to class.

“So um y/n what classes do you have?” I asked

“Um let’s see” as she pulls out her class schedule. I looked over to see what her schedule looks like to see that we don’t have chemistry together.

Well that’s good.

“So it looks like we have every class but chemistry together”

“Oh okay. So we have calculus right now with Mr. Harrington?”

“Yes you are correct”

“How is he, you know, as a person and a teacher”

“He’s um, a nice guy. I little oblivious but he’s nice”

“How so?”

“Well one time we decided to pull a prank on him and we changed his computer screensaver to a Bernie Sanders meme where he was sitting on the bench and apparently Mr. Harrington didn’t even notice it till the next day.” I guess it was pretty funny to her because I see her start laughing about it. She has the cutest laugh.

“Oh my god that is so funny. He didn’t notice till the next day?!” She says as she is laughing even more.

“Yep. Told you he is oblivious”

“Yeah sounds like it”

We arrived at our first class and all of the eyes of the class shifted to us as we entered the room.

“Ah welcome! Everyone this is our new student…” he waits for her to say her name. She realizes what the teacher was doing after a couple of awkward moments.

“Oh it’s y/n, y/n y/l/n”

“Welcome y/n, go ahead and take a seat”. Unfortunately the last two spots in the class were not next to each other so you guys couldn’t sit next to each other. I sat at the desk that was more towards the back where she sat more towards the middle of the room, then I realized she was sitting in the middle of the room, rightfully so. She has this appearance of her that makes her glow. It wasn’t necessary her looks, well she was gorgeous, but it was more about the way she carried herself. She was confident, happy, and seemed to be joyful all round. Peter really hoped to get to know her more. Even if this stupid little crush didn’t go anywhere he still wanted to be her friend. He found himself looking at you more than paying attention to what Mr. Harrington was saying. With that said he realized that looking at you this long was probably creepy but he was just caught up on how beautiful you are. He was snapped back to reality when the bell rang ending the class. He grabbed his things and walked over to y/n who just finished collecting her things and putting them into her backpack.

“Ready for our next class?” I asked her

“Yeah, what’s next again?”

“Spanish” I replied as we started to class

“Peter! Wait up!” Peter hears a familiar voice behind him. He honestly forgot that Ned was in their last class.

“Oh hey Ned! Ned, this is y/n and y/n this is Ned. He’s my best friend”

“Nice to meet you Ned” y/n shook Ned’s hand

“You too! I’m sorry if I sound rude but why are you wearing gloves?” Peter looked at Y/n’s hands to see what Ned was talking about. Peter took another look at her gloves and found them rather odd. They weren’t your average cotton gloves, they seemed to be custom made, expensive gloves.

“Oh yeah um I was in a house fire and my hands got burned really bad. That’s kinda why my dad, my brother, and I moved. Though my brother is at boarding school so it is just my dad and I now. My hands are currently healing right now from it but I have to wear there’s gloves till they are fully healed”

“Well I’m glad you are okay. What’s your next class?”

“Spanish”

“Oh cool okay I got to go to English but I will meet up with you guys at lunch” Ned’s tone was more of a question than a statement.

“Yeah sounds great Ned” I replied to him. I wasn’t going to force y/n to sit with us at lunch so I answered more for myself. She might make some friends before then and would rather sit with them than us.

“See you at lunch Ned!” She shouted at him as he was heading to English

Not too long afterward we started to walk to class and she spoke, “Ned seems really nice”

“Yeah he is. He can’t keep a secret to keep his life but yeah he is a great guy”

“You both seem like nice guys” I smiled with a slight chuckle.

“Thanks,” I reply. It was nice to talk to someone who wasn’t Ned and didn’t call me ‘penis parker’. I really do hope y/n and I become good friends.

It was lunchtime and y/n, Ned, and I were sitting at the cafeteria getting to know each other well more of Ned and I getting to know Y/n and Y/n getting to know us. She was kinda vague about her background, just that she was in a house fire and that her family moved here recently but I didn’t press onto it, I didn’t want to push a subject that she seemed she didn’t want to talk about. She also talked about how she got really sick and how her father was able to cure her before doctors could, apparently her doctors gave up on trying to cure her but her dad didn’t and was able to. Which is quite impressive for a new disease that was just discovered.

“Wow that’s amazing! How was he able to do it?”

“Well um he never really told me what he gave me but it worked and I didn’t question it. If it works it works.”

“And what was it actually? How did the disease affect you?” I asked.

“Well um, I kinda really don’t know, I lost some memory during that time which was one of the side effects of the cure. My dad didn’t really say to be honest. I think he just likes to forget how painful it was for him”. This just seemed weird. Her dad seemed very vague with her.

“Well enough about me, what about you guys? What do you guys like to do for fun?” You could tell she was done talking about herself

“Well we-” I started out, trying to think of something cool.

“We do a lot of Star Wars stuff,” Ned said confidently, interrupting me.

“Dude, come on” I turned to Ned in disbelief he just said that to a girl he wanted to impress. Most girls run the other direction when they start talking about Star Wars.

“I... love... Star Wars”

We turned to look at her in awe. We never encountered a girl who liked Star Wars. To my surprise, it seemed that she looked surprised with herself. I don’t know what she was confused about.

“You like Star Wars?” I wanted a clarification that I heard her right.

“Yeah...Yeah I do like Star Wars” she sounded like she was giving herself clarification.

“Hey well if you want to you don’t have to but do you want to come over and build the millennial falcon together? I just got it for Christmas and haven’t built it yet”

“Peter what about the Stark internship?” Ned bogging me in the gut, causing me to release a small groan from him just elbowing me in the side. Ned loons I’ve to me and tries to whisper to me under his breath so that only I could hear him. I reassured Ned of my plan.

“Do have that today but afterward, maybe around 6:30ish? Y/n would you be down for that?”

“Um yeah I would. Would you guys give me a second I need to go to the bathroom” she got up before we could say anything to her. I hope she is okay, I could tell her heart was beating a little faster then before.

Y/n POV

I just needed to get away for a moment, I just had the weirdest moment of my life happen to me. I have never heard of let alone talk about Star Wars till today. When Ned mentioned Star Wars, I had this rush of memories come back to my head of Star Wars and what it was about. And not only my knowledge of it but the emotions I had for it. It all rushed to me. I have never had this happen to me before. I just knew I felt overwhelmed and just needed to get away for a moment to take it all in. Was my long term memory coming back? If that is what this is, which is what I am hoping for, I will get my long term memories back which will be great, I would get to feel like me again. Not remembering my past has made me feel like I just appeared out of nowhere. It made me feel like I was a robot, with no background. But after this gave me hope of getting back to the way things used to be. I headed back to the cafeteria where Peter and Ned still were, you were glad you got lucky to meet Peter and Ned on your first day here. You knew you would be grey friends with them from here on out. Plus Peter wasn’t too bad to look at. He gets so cute when he gets nervous. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have him as my guide for school today. All of a sudden, your hands felt the urge to touch something, with your bare hands. You had to push this feeling down for now. The powers like to have a mind of their own but I had better control than that. Taking deep breaths and focusing on anything besides your hands was the way to settle the urge. I started to think about how I had plans with my new friends that invited me to go build a ship from a franchise that you all of sudden fell in love with. You were excited to have friends in general. Dad has always kept me from others so I didn’t really talk to a whole lot of people, really him and Harry, well only if Harry takes to me. But I was glad to have friends who liked me, at least I thought they liked me. No had had to think positive thoughts and only positive thoughts to keep the urge away. Yes they do like me or they would have not invited me over, they do like me, they do like me, they do like me. It was what I told myself as the urge started to go away, for now. Thankfully I got rid of it in time once I was fully returned to the urge. The bell rang for lunch to be over.

“Well I will see you guys tonight?” Ned asked. Again clarifying if we were on the same page.

“Yes see you tonight at Peters!”

The school day was officially done. I had gotten Peter’s number after last class together for him to text me the address to his apartment. The last class of the day, the only class I didn’t have with Peter, was lonely. Just with me being so nervous and being my first day, Peter just brought this comfort essence that made me feel okay. But now without him, it wasn’t the same. No one was as welcoming as him, this girl in the corner drew a picture of me saying that she draws people who look like they don’t belong, which was weird but kinda oddly charming at the same time but it was weird. Once the day was done I checked my phone to see if my dad texted saying if he was here to pick me up, to be honest I didn’t know if he was going to text me. Fortunately he texted me, unfortunately he said I had to walk home. I groaned at the text message. Thankfully it was only a 20-30 minute walk from the school to the apartment but still you really weren’t in the mood for walking. Eventually arriving at the apartment you walk in and see my dad cutting up lettuce, from the looks of it getting dinner ready. Wait why couldn’t he pick me up? But I knew better than to ask. You didn’t feel like getting into an argument right now.

“Hey dad”

“Hey honey how was school?”

“It was good, I made some friends!” I said with a little bit more excitement than before.

“Oh that’s great honey” although he didn’t seem to really mean it. He hasn’t even looked up at you since you walked in and his tone was dull. He didn’t really seem like he cared.

“I’m going to my room to do some homework”

“Alright dinner will be around 5:00”

Once dinner time rolled around, we were quiet for the most part. We made some small talk but never turned into a conversation. I was going to tell him about the weird emotional moment I had today but after the way he was acting today I didn’t really want to tell him. Around 6I started to get ready to go to Peter’s. I figured I would leave around 6:30 to go to his place seeing that it would take me about 30 minutes to get there. 6:30 rolls around and I start to head out. My dad was on the couch when I was heading toward the door.

“Bye dad I’m off to my friends?”

“Excuse me what?!” He looked up from his newspaper to look at me.

“My friend invited me to go over and hangout. Don’t worry I will be back before 10”

“Y/n it is a school night”

“But I will be back around 10, having me plenty of sleep for school tomorrow”

“You are not going”

“Why not?” Getting frustrated at this point. You have never really had friends before and now that you have and you want to hangout with them, you dad decides to say no, after not letting me see people for months!

“Because I said so” he said with his firm dad voice. But you weren’t going down without a fight this time.

“No you need to give me a reason”

“I don’t need to give you anything”

“For the first time in months I found people who like me and want to be around me and you say I can’t see them just because you said so? Yeah no I’m sorry I will see you at 10 then you can ground me” I turned to the door and as I grab the handle I feel this electricity go through me. Then I felt nothing, everything went silent, and everything went black.

3rd POV

“Raise Esmeray” Norman spoke once Y/n body was still. As Y/n’s alter ego was turned on by his simple words, her eyes opened and she stood up from where she had fallen. Once she was standing she was standing tall there, waiting for her commands to be given from her master.

“I am ready for further instruction sir”

“Good. Now the real reason why I couldn’t let you go was that I need you for tonight, I need you to hit a target for me tonight. Tonight I need you to visit an old friend of mine that owes me money. If he does not have it” he stopped as he removed Esmeray’s gloves “touch his throat with your hands. If he does have it, make sure he gives it to you and then touch his throat with your hands. Do not leave the target till he has died”

“Yes sir” had been Esmeray’s response. It didn’t even sound like Y/n at this point. It sounded like a robot that took over her.

“Now go get ready, once you are I will give you the name”

Esmeray just nodded and went to go change for her mission.

- Thank you so much for waiting so patiently. I was finishing up finals this week and I plan to post part 2 later in the week!

- In the future chapters when y/n is in their alter ego stage where Norman has control over, I’m going to reference them as Esmeray.

Esmeray means dark moon btw🌑

-Thanks for reading 😊💖

#peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x reader #spiderman #spiderman fic #tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x reader #x reader #marvel fanfiction #marvel #series #part 1 #part 1 of many #esmeray #more than meets the eye #part 2 coming soon

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ikemen-girl · 3 years

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Hi,😆😆😆 I have just came up with an interesting headcanon~

I would like to know what it would be like if Mitsuhide and MC are lovers 😍 and they are also classmate in a magic school like the one in Harry Potter! and all the other warlords are also their classmate~

And i think maybe mitsuhide will tease others and MC more because he has magic now, haha, that would be funny😝 and romantic if Mitsuhide use magic to surprise or protect MC😍

And i hope Mitsuhide can make a chocolate birthday cake for me since i love chocolate cake and my birthday just passed two weeks ago~🤣

I am so happy you are taking request😁😁😁

Thank you so so much❤❤❤

Have a great weekend 😉😉😉

Hello dear @sophialovesmitsuhide 😍😍😍😍❤❤❤❤! Thank you so much for this amazing request✨✨💛💛😘😘! Now this is an interesting subject😉😎, I really enjoyed it writing this headcanon and it is very special to me🥺😍❤✨ and it's way longer than I initially intended😂💛! I am sorry for being so late as I got very busy in assignments & presentations all of a sudden😭😭🤗🤗😘😘! And wishing youuuu a very happy belated birthday❤❤😘😘✨✨💗🌹🎂🍫🎊🎉I hope you will enjoy it and have a great day and upcoming weekend💛😍😘! So here we go💃~

IKESEN HEADCANON AU💗⚔ :

MITSUHIDE & MC IN MAGIC SCHOOL🧙‍♂️:

I do not own the rights of this pic. All credits to the owner.

You had work & studied so hard📚📝to get into the most prestiguous magic academy🧙🏻‍♂️. So it was a dream come true moment when you got admission into "Magic School of Wizardry" at the eligible age of 11👧🏻.

You were absolutely looking forward to learn magic in this new journey of your life🤩❤😎🤗💃. When you took your first step in this academy, you were completely taken aback by the lavishness of the huge castle😱✨🏰. You had never seen something as magnificent like that in your life😳😨. There was a huge crowd of magic students roaming around & you were suddenly missing the warmth of your home😭 even though it was a dream for you to step into such a high-level school. This experience was too overwhelming & intimidating for you at the same time🤯😳😱, beautiful and large study halls, assembly, library, so many chandeliers and paintings & introduction of the great wizards giving it entirely royal look, students using magic around like it was the game of a child making you go like-👁👄👁.

"How the hell am I supposed to spend my 7 years of my life here😱😫🤦🏻‍♀️?!", you exclaimed, crouching down in the corridor, frustrated at yourself. "Look up girl, the day is finally here for which you dreamt of from so many years and you should enjoy every moment🥰 instead of cowering like a little mouse🐭", said a boy. You turned to look at the silver-haired boy who was flashing a sweet smile with a mischievous look in his eyes✨☺️, his hand extended towards you.

"Umm..Thank you😅😳🙈!", you said as you accepted his hand and stood up, slightly embarrassed to be seen in this way on your first day🤝🏻. "What is your name?", asked the boy excitedly😏🕺. "MC and yes, is this your first day as well?", you asked timidly. "Yes! Nice to meet you, I am Mitsuhide!", he said flashing a huge grin at you😁.

"How are you so excited? Aren't you a bit overwhelmed by seeing such grandeur all around😳🤔?", you asked trying to dissolve your nervousness. "You will be spending 7 years here and also it was my dream to come here and you should always look forward for new experiences such as learning art of magic for instance🧙🏻‍♂️", he replied with a proud smirk😏.

"Now to calm down your nerves, may I become your first friend here so that maybe you don't feel toooo lonely here😏", Mitsuhide asked slightly bending down to match your height. "No but thank you for your offer😅😳", you said as you shy away from his deep and golden eyes. "Hmmm okay👍, as you wish😏", said Mitsuhide as he turned on his heels with a smirk. "Wait! You are going to leave me alone here😱😲?", you exclaimed. "If my ears are working fine, you just refused to be my friend so I should be going back on my way, no?", Mitsuhide turned to look at you raising his eyebrows🤨.

"Okay, okay, I agree, I agree, just don't leave me alone here😱🙏🏻!", you said with a pleading look in your eyes. "Agree to what😁?", Mitsuhide asked with a huge grin looking straight at you. "I AGREE TO BE YOUR FRIEND🙆🏻‍♀️!", you said it loudly. Mitsuhide let out a sweet smile☺️ hearing your response and replaces it with his usual smirk😏. "Very well, little mouse🐭, you are my first friend in this new journey😏!", Mitsuhide said with a huge grin on his face😁. You rolled your eyes at him🙄 as he took your hand with the most smug look on his face😏. "You remind me of a fox, you know that🦊?", you said teasing him. "Oh my, thank you😏😆!", said Mitsuhide chuckling. "I am not complimenting you🙍🏻‍♀️!", you said with a smirk of your own. "I know right😏!", said Mitsuhide glancing at you with a huge grin. He held your hand tighter as he guided you around the magic school.

So that's how you met the love of your life for the *FIRST* time🥰. Now we should move on to the introduction of your best friends on this magical journey, shall we😉?

NEXT DAY-

"Nobunaga, please eat your breakfast and I mean a healthy diet & not your konpeito🍬 for god's sake, please😠!", Hideyoshi screamed at him who was sitting beside him in the large dining hall. "You can't order me as I am your elder brother, not the other way around and stop screaming, so many students are staring at you, can't you see😒?", said Nobunaga, annoyed by his little brother's nagging, crunching on his konpeito freely not caring about the other students staring at him😏🍬. Hideyoshi turned to the other students, flustered, realising that it's not their home but the dining hall of their academy😳, the students were staring at them👀, the breakfast laid down before them, long forgotten. "I don't care! We only have a day difference in terms of age! You can't eat that🙄😠!", said Hideyoshi turning to look back at Nobunaga and tried to catch hold of his jar. "I will not give it to you! It's my treasure🤦🏻‍♂️!", said Nobunaga clutching his jar. "I said No😠!", Hideyoshi said loudly. Nobunaga throws his favourite jar across the table so that it doesn't fall in hands of Hideyoshi. "Someone, catch it😱!", pleaded Nobunaga. "Here it is😏!", someone grabbed it. That someone was Mitsuhide. "Hey, give me that jar😠!", Hideyoshi glared at him. "Why? As far as I know, this jar belongs to that student, Nobunaga😏!", said Mitsuhide with a smirk looking at Nobunaga. Nobunaga looked at him with a grateful look for saving his treasure🤩👌.

"Silence🤫!", said the kitchen master angrily😠. "Sorry sir🙇🏻‍♂️!", Hideyoshi immediately sat down, glaring furiously at Mitsuhide who casually passed the jar to Nobunaga without any care in the world😡. Nobunaga nodded and took it with a big smirk on his face, this is how these two became friends due to konpeito🍬✨😏🤝🏻.

"You are really something, aren't you😯? Making enemy on the second day itself😏? You need to be careful, Hideyoshi is looking at you like he is ready to kill you any moment🤭!", you whispered to Mitsuhide giggling. "Never fear little mouse🐭, he can do absolutely nothing to me😏!", he said with a smirk as he lightly booped your nose while you batted his hand away🙅🏻‍♀️.

"What the heck is this😠😵?!", exclaimed a boy with eyepatch angrily. Everyone turned to look at him. "Now, what is your problem?", asked the kitchen master looking at him with a raised eyebrow🙄🤨. "This soup is so bitter, you have destroyed the essence of the ingredients! This is a disaster😵🤦🏻‍♂️🙅🏻‍♂️!", he exclaimed angrily. You drank one spoon and it was the one of the best soups you have taken in your life😍, you wondered why that eyepatch boy is speaking in such a manner🤔? "Mitsuhide, this seems delicious to me, what about you🤔?", you said curiously. "Sorry little one, I don't have any sense of taste, I eat to satisfy my hunger not my taste buds, you see😏🤷🏻‍♂️", Mitsuhide grinned at you. "WHAT😱?!", you exclaimed gaining the attention of other students. "No, it's nothing, nevermind😳🙈!", you said, embarrassed as all eyes were on you. "Are you serious😲?", you asked him with wide eyes. "Absolutely serious😏!", Mitsuhide smiled pointing at his own bowl. You cringed looking at the way all his food was dump together in a single bowl. "I see😳!", you said trying to focus on that angry eyepatch boy. "You know nothing🤦🏻‍♂️! Lemme show you all🏃🏻‍♂️!", the boy stood and made his way towards the kitchen. "Where do you think you are going? Sit down and eat your breakfast! Already so much commotion has happened due to those boys before😠!", said the kitchen master angrily looking at Nobunaga, Hideyoshi & Mitsuhide😒. The eyepatch boy ignored his glare and directly barged into the kitchen. "THE AUDACITY OF THAT BOY!", said the kitchen master angrily😡. "That boy is so daring, isn't he😯?", you asked Mitsuhide. "I like him already, daring & adventurous, so much entertainment, I am so happy😏👍🏻!", said Mitsuhide crossing his arms happily. "As expected of you😌!", you sighed as you turned to eat your breakfast.

"Tadaaaaa! Here you all are! Now drink this soup made by me😎💁🏻‍♂️! One spoon per student!", the boy announced. You were taken aback by the speed of the boy as he went just inside 10 minutes ago😱😳. "Yo Girl😏! You first😎!", said the boy pointing at you. "Me? Why😳?", you asked, baffled by the sudden offer. "Hmmm, I felt like it😜!", that boy grinned like a tiger🐯. "That's a vague response but nevermind😅😆!", you took the spoon and drink the soup while everyone looks at you. "YUMMY😍🥰😋! THIS TASTES SO AWESOME👍🏻✨😍👏🏻!", you exclaimed😯, stunned leading to the curiosity of the other students. "Obviously, this is made by chef Masamune afterall😎!", said the boy proudly thumping his own chest😏. "Thank you Masamune😇!", you said, immensely grateful. "You are absolutely welcome😉!", said Masamune as he winks at her while Mitsuhide was fidgeting uncomfortably, looking at Masamune clearly trying to flirt with her, "I don't know whether I like him or not, now", he muttered under his breathe😒😤. "Did you say anything, Mitsuhide👁👄👁? "Nope, nothing😏". The other students and the kitchen master gathered around Masamune & everyone was impressed by how delicious the soup was✨😍👏🏻👍🏻.

"Oi, why are you adding so much chilli powder😱😳?!", asked Masamune to the yellow-haired boy. "That's how I like it, any problem😒💢?", replied the boy curtly. "Yes, that's exactly my problem🗣 and......you, how much time, are you going to spend reading that book😱😳?!", Masamune asked to the another grey-haired boy. "Tch!", the yellow-haired boy clicked his tongue😒while Masamune tries his best to catch the attention of the grey-haired boy by waving his hand infront of his face👋. "Masamune, leave them be, don't disturb them!", you giggled as you moved towards them😆. "A simple trick would do😏!", you said grinning taking the spoon near his mouth, which finally broke the daze of grey-haired boy😯. Mitsuhide pouted seeing you give attention to the grey-haired boy instead of him☹. He turned to look at everyone, "Studying is okay but eating food is also important😂", you chuckled. "Oh sorry! I get so absorbed while reading the books, thank you so much✨😍😊! Iam Mitsunari😇!", said Mitsunari introducing himself. His smile was so dazzling✨ you thought you need to wear sunglasses😎 or else you would go blind🙈. "I am MC, this is Mitsuhide and Masamune!", you said happily giving a brief introduction💁🏻‍♀️.

"Hey lad, why aren't you drinking🤔?", asked Masamune curiously. "Sorry, I am full & I have no sense of taste, drinking it would be a waste for me😏", Mitsuhide replied."Masamune, he just finished, don't worry☺️🥰", you said softly trying to rescue Mitsuhide from Masamune. "What do you mean? No taste, you better eat it, lad😠!", said Masamune as he directly pushed a spoon of soup into his mouth. Cue Mitsuhide intense coughing."Are you okay?", you asked gently rubbing his back whils giving him a glass of water😨. Mitsuhide accepted your help gladly. "You are so forceful, Masamune😌🤦🏻‍♂️!", Mitsuhide sighed. "So am I and I am not sorry for it😏", Masamune smiled proudly. "You are appointed as one of our best chef in the magic academy😎👨🏻‍🍳!", the kitchen master announced begged🙏🏻 to Masamune😓. He accepted the offer with a proud smirk on his face, "I can't let my classmates eat such average food afterall😏!"

"Why are you following me like an idiot since I came into this dining hall😒💢?", asked a boy grumpily turning to look at Mitsunari. "What was you name? Mitsunari, right? What do you want from me🙄?", he asked angrily. Before the yellow-haired boy could question further, he was interrupted with the questions of the other boys. "You are Ieyasu, right? The second rank holder of this entrance exam? Did you cheated in the exam?", the other boy smirked. "Stop your nonsense!", said Ieyasu angrily💢😠. "Huh? Who are you trying to challenge😡?", the boy squared his shoulders. "Please stop it!", said Mitsunari😐. "I said get out of my way!", Ieyasu snarled to the other boy😡. "Oh, what can you do, short boy?", he asked. The other boy lifted his hand to punch Ieyasu👊🏻 but you pushed him out of nowhere and almost got hit on the cheek if not for Mitsuhide's quick rescue stopping the blow with his hand. "Mitsuhide😱!", you exclaimed. "Stupid girl, what are you doing😟?", asked Ieyasu, worriedly at trying to check whether you are alright. "Yes, I am fine☺️, I couldn't stop by & do nothing", you said with a sheepish smile. Ieyasu sighs, looking annoyed yet relieved😩.Mitsuhide turned to them. "It would be very good, if you apologize & go on your way unless you want to face the consequences," he said with a dangerous smile at them🙂. "Us? Apologize? We are your seniors and you are the exam topper Mitsuhide, right? We heard that you came from nothing so you should do well by staying within your limits🙄!", the boy and his group glared at him. "Oh really?!", you shouted angrily making Mitsuhide eyes go wide with shock😡. "And who gave you the right to mock him on the basis of his social background? He has worked hard to be standing here & he is hundred times better than you all as a person.You think, you come from the wealthy family so you have all the rights to look down on anyone, if you think in that manner then I really pity you, go & learn to respect others first! Seniors are there to help juniors not mock them, apologize to them right now!", you shouted angrily😒💢. "Shut up--", the other boy argued when they saw headmaster coming to the scenario along with Nobunaga, Hideyoshi and Masamune & their gang went stiff. "Do what she said! This kind of behaviour is unacceptable & you lot are bringing shame to us!", said the headmaster angrily😠. "We are sorry!", the boy and his group bowed low infront of Mitsuhide and Ieyasu. "You all will be punished accordingly", the professor said with a stern voice looking at the group of seniors.

"Oh my! I didn't knew you could be so angry, fiesty mouse😏💗👍🏻?", Mitsuhide asked jokingly. "Now don't make me more mad!", you said rolling your eyes🙄. "For lifting your spirits, I will treat you to tea & sweets😏!", Mitsuhide smirked. "Really🐭😍?" "Yes😏!", he nodded. "Great job there, MC!", said Nobunaga smirking at her😏. "We went to call the headmaster immediately when I saw that commotion😨!", Hideyoshi said. "You are so brave, MC-sama!", said Mitsunari smiling happily😇. "I really had so much fun seeing their faces while they got punished!", said Masamune laughing👍🏻🤣😎. "Um..Thank you....", said Ieyasu, blushing. "You all are welcome🥰!", you said with a huge smile.

"Now as everything is sorted, we all are going to stick together till the end! We are going to be best friends starting from this day💗😍💃🤗🥰✨😇!", you said extending your palm infront of them excitedly. "Ofcourse, little mouse🐭💗, maybe even more?", Mitsuhide smirked putting his hand over her palm😏. "Shut up🙄!", you said jokingly to him😆. Mitsuhide chuckled😂. "Gladly, kitten😻!", Masamune joined grinning widely😁. "Obviously, fireball🔥!", said Nobunaga smirking at her😏. "Wait, when did you both came with this nickname?", you asked raising your eyebrow at him🤨🤔. "You burst there like a ball of fire!", replied Nobunaga with a smirk😏. "Just now, you are looking like a happy kitten!", Masamune laughed🤣. "You better don't mess with her, only I am allowed to tease her, she is my best friend😏!", Mitsuhide said possessively grabbing your shoulder from behind😎. "She is my best friend😏!", Masamune teased Mitsuhide. Mitsuhide's smirks, "No---😏," "Stop fighting already🤣!", you said breaking their silly conversation. "I don't want to be friends with any of you especially that purple cabbage🙄😒💢!", said Ieyasu which made everyone howl with laughter. Cue Mitsunari who is an angel👼was confused on why was everyone laughing🤔😯so he joined in as well😂😂 *please protecc this cinnamon roll*. Ieyasu tried to move away from the group who were busy laughing when Masamune grabbed him. "Oh come on lad, don't be moody😏!", "I said leave me out of this nonsense😠!", Ieyasu grunted. "No way🤣", Masamune laughed while he gently forcefully joined him in as well. Hideyoshi was fuming with anger standing besides Mitsuhide😡😤. "I don't want to be his friend! He is a snake in human's form🐍!" "Oh my, how rude😏!", Mitsuhide smirked at him. "Oh God! Spare me😒😌!", Hideyoshi sighed glaring at him. He reluctantly joined in. Nobunaga took the chance to eat his konpeito again🍬 when Hideyoshi noticed him, "Nobunaga, nooooo😱!", as he chased Nobunaga who ran away while eating.

"Now I am sure, I got an interesting & crazy bunch of friends🤣✨😍!", you laughed. "Who are you calling crazy🤨?", asked Ieyasu, annoyed. "No one! Absolutely not you😂!", you giggled. "You are my girlfriend😏!", Mitsuhide smirked. "What did you say🤨?", you raised an eyebrow glaring at him. "Nothing😁", said Mitsuhide looking elsewhere grinning to himself. You stared at him for a moment thinking he has gone mad and let it go😂. Later Mitsuhide invited you in his room for treating you with tea & sweets which you obviously enjoyed it so much. "Thank you so much for before!", said Mitsuhide with a smirk😏. "Show me your hand😕!", you said holding his hand. "Wait, what---?", exclaimed Mitsuhide looking down confused😳. "It will pain tomorrow if you don't apply the ointment! Thank you for protecting me🥰😇!", you said as you gently massaged his palm with a smile on your face☺️✨. Mitsuhide stared at you with gaze filled with affection while you were taking care of him😍💗. "I promise to protect you☺️", said Mitsuhide with a soft smile☺️. "Oh really? I promise to do the same!", you giggled taken aback by his soft and sincere expression😂😯🥰. The beautiful journey in your life begins with Mitsuhide as your best friend💗.

6 YEARS LATER-

You have grown up to be a very talented healing magician😎💯. Mitsuhide has always been by your side🤝🏻, taking care of you and vice-versa💗, all these years🥰, there was one incident when you accidentally brought heavy rain inside the classroom🌧 instead of litting the fire🔥, you were sad by your own results😢. Everyone laughed at you except your best friends obviously, they were worried seeing your disappointed expression😨, but, Mitsuhide, he smiled encouragingly at you☺️ & helped you to stop the rain, patted your head when you did it successfully, the smile you gave him melted his heart✨💗& he stayed with you to help you clean the entire classroom along with your friends using magical skills🧙🏻‍♂️. He used to instruct you to improve your magical skills in his free time👨🏻‍🏫. Similarly, you used to follow him around to take better care of himself🗣, more on a gentler version🥰💗 than Hideyoshi who used to take care of him on an aggressive level😂. Cue Mitsuhide: That's more than aggression, I feel like he will kill me someday while taking care of me😏🤦🏻‍♂️. Hideyoshi: MITSUHIDE😠! Masamune used to make you amazing food that you loved so much and gently, no forcefully shove food down Mitsuhide's throat🤭, slapping his forehead everytime seeing Mitsuhide dump everything into a single bowl🤦🏻‍♂️. Ieyasu and you used to study together on various healing potions📚📖🖋, you and Mitsunari used to discus various facts of magic together🧐, while Hideyoshi was always nagging at almost everyone because he cares for everyone, trust me, he burst down in tears😭 everytime Nobunaga used to praise him for being the best brother💯✨. Mitsuhide: Oh my, you are crying😏! Hideyoshi: Shut up😠! No matter their arguments, they both cared for each other in their own way. You and the others were immemsely thankful to him for always being their with them😍💯💗🤗. 6 years went by in a flash✨.

CURRENT TIME:

"Where am I now? I lost track of time and now it's dark night🌌! I wish Mitsuhide was here with me😩!", you wandered around in the deep forest, feeling frightened to be alone😱 trying to find your way out using the help of light created by magic. You suddenly heard the roar of the wild animals. You trembled knowing well that the roar came from the lions hidden behind the bushes. This situation made you freeze on your spot😱😰. You could see the gleam of various golden eyes on yourself🦁. The lions bare their sharp canines which made your mind went blank😳😱😵.

"MITSUHIDE😱!", you screamed at the top of your lungs out of fear. The moment, the group of lions pounced on you, they were thrown back with a strong hit of light💥. You wheeled your head to look back towards the source of the light and your face broke into a big smile😍 to see Mitsuhide standing there in his uniform holding his magic wand🧙‍♂️. "You trouble me so much, my dear little mouse🐭!", Mitsuhide sighed letting out a sweet smile😌☺️.

You were so numb with fear that when you tried to run into his arms, you immediately stumbled and Mitsuhide held you into his strong arms🤗. "Thank you...if...if...", you only managed to let out that single word and broke down in tears😭. Mitsuhide hugged you, gently stroking your back. "It's okay now, I am here, you are safe💗☺️!", said Mitsuhide with a soft smile. "If you were not here, I was as good as dead🥺", you whispered, still trembling from fear😰. "I promised to protect you, didn't I🤗?", asked Mitsuhide gently. You nodded. He wiped your tears away and pulled your cheeks. "Where did you went all alone in this deep forest without informing someone? Hmm?", he asked, concern written all over his face😥.

"I was trying to find this special flower 🌸which has magical healing & energy restoration properties, I didn't realised that it got so late, I am so sorry for making you worried🙈😅", you said with a sheepish smile. "You should have told me or Ieyasu, we would have get you this flo---" "I wanted to find it on my own😛!", you interrupted him putting your finger on his lips🤫. Mitsuhide smiled and took your hand in his, gently caressing it☺️. "Okay, okay, I know, but you need to be more careful😏!", Mitsuhide flashed his usual foxy smile and patted your head. You leaned into his touch with a happy smile because it felt so good after such a rough day😍❤. "Such a silly little mouse🐭!", he laughed seeing your adorable expression🤣. You giggled happily😂.

You turned to glance at Mitsuhide who was moving forward holding your hand in his tightly with a small smile on his lips😊🤝🏻. It was the special moment you realise you had fallen in love with him deeply💓. You were so used to having him by your side, it was difficult to imagine a life without his presence🥰🦊❤. 'When did you take control of my entire heart, Mitsuhide❤✨?', you thought smiling to yourself, eyes softening in thought of all your memories with him🥰💗.

You along with him went back to your academy where everyone was waiting for you🙍🏻‍♂️. When you both went to meet them after a long day, you immediately knew that they were worried sick judging the expressions on their faces😅🙁. Cue Ieyasu flicking your forehead. "What was that for?!", you shouted in pain😫. "You deserve it for making us worried!", said Ieyasu with a grumpy expression😒. "He is right, MC, why did you do this stunt of going outside without telling anyone😤🤨😠?", you knew very well that Hideyoshi's nagging isn't going to stop any time soon Well, shit😅🤦🏻‍♀️. Mitsuhide instead of coming to your rescue as usual decided to have an entertainment on your expense🤣 when he told to everyone about how almost your life would have ended if he didn't made it in time😏🤷🏻‍♂️. Cue, loud & worried gasps. "MC, WHY ARE YOU SO CARELESS😡?", Hideyoshi said angrily. Mitsuhide was snickering at you🤭 while you stared daggers at him while keeping your head low while being scolded by your dearest friends🙇🏻‍♀️(including Mitsunari and Masamune). Even Nobunaga pretended to scold you while secretly eating konpeito. MC: Nobunaga W A T----- 👁👄👁? "Why are you laughing so much?!", you said angrily looking towards Mitsuhide🗣😠💢. "MC!!", everyone exclaimed who were in the middle of scolding you😠. "Y-Yes, I am sorry!", you said, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment😳☹😞. They are so weak towards you😟, they melted immediately seeing you feeling sorry for your mistake😌. "Please take care of yourself, lass, you are dear to us😁!", said Masamune with a huge grin patting your head to cheer you up🥰🧡. "You better do! You are so reckless for your own good, it will be a pain if you injured yourself!", Ieyasu said with his annoyed expression😒 which in Ieyasu's dictionary meant- Take care of yourself, I don't want to see you getting hurt🧡. "Sorry for scolding you, we all were worried", Hideyoshi said comforting you🧡. "I am so glad you are safe now, MC-sama!", Mitsunari smiled brightly at you😇✨. Hideyoshi caught Nobunaga, "UGH, NOT AGAIN🤦🏻‍♂️!"

When everyone retired in their rooms for the night, Mitsuhide tried to comfort you and apologise for setting you up for his entertainment in his own way, "Dear little mouse, I---🤗", "WHO IS YOUR LITTLE MOUSE😡!?", you huffed angrily, glaring at him and went to your own room😒. "Seems like I teased you so much today", Mitsuhide scratched his head, sighing to himself with a sad smile and apologizing look in his eyes😅.

He would try every possible way to ask to apologize as he couldn't stand his dear little mouse🐭 staying angry at him, now could he🙇🏻‍♂️? He would give you flying letters which everyone could read easily😲, seeking forgiveness from you making you more flustered than ever😳🤦🏻‍♀️🙈, he would follow you everywhere murmuring his apologies with a extremely soft look on his face which would made your heartbeat go wild 💓 especially after realizing your newly budding feelings for him❤ which were beyond friendship and beyond special to describe it in words but you wouldn't budge easily this time🙅🏻‍♀️. "Stop following me around, everyone are staring at us😳😒🤦🏻‍♀️🙈!", you said with a stern voice. "Let them, please, dear little one, I an sorry🤗!", he replied holding his ears with a smile. "Stop doing this!", you said trying to remove his hands from his ears😩. "Do you forgive me?", he asked with a hopeful look in his eyes👀. "Nopeeee🙅🏻‍♀️!", you answered. Mitsuhide fiegned a very hurtful look😔 which made you feel sorry for being hard on him😟. He turned on his heels, going away and before you could call him, some girls 👭🏻surrounded him asking him to help them in teaching certain magic spells he excels in. Almost instinctively, you dashed towards Mitsuhide and grabbed his arm, looking at the girls with a best fake smile, "Sorry girls, Mitsuhide is busy right now🙂!", you said with a sweet voice trying to keep yourself from showing any signs of jealousy and anger😅💢. Once those girls went away, Mitsuhide turned towards you with an amused expression😏, raising his eyebrows with a questioning look in his eyes🤔🤨, "I wasn't busy? Oh my, dear little mouse🐭💗, are you jealous😏?" "You were not but you are now, your task is to make me my favourite tea or else I wil not forgive you🙍🏻‍♀️!", you said trying desperately to change the subject. "If this will make my little mouse happy🐭💗 and she will forgive me, then I am more than glad to make tea for you😏🍵!", Mitsuhide smirked, eyes shining with affection😏💗😍.

Each and every moment, Mitsuhide spent with you was very dear to him and close to his heart❤, your various expressions added colour to his life🌈. He especially loved your joyous and adorable expression😍🥰😇✨when you drink the tea made by him🍵. "How is it😏?", he asked already knowing the answer. "This is awesome! I LOVED IT❤😍💗✨!", she replied it with the same enthusiasm as always like she used to do as a child making his heart dance with happiness🕺🏻❤. "Now, do you forgive me?", he asked resting his chin in his hands👀. "Yes, I forgive you, I am also sorry for being so tough with you☺️🙈💗", you said with a shy smile, brushing you hair aside. Mitsuhide gently caressed your cheek with a very soft smile on his face, "Thank you so much for your mercy, dear little mouse🐭💗🤗!".

You held his hand gently, "You always tease and annoy me but you are dear to me💗🤗🤝🏻", you said with a loving and affectionate smile🥰✨. Mitsuhide was surprised and he turned away with a cough😳. "Are you okay?", you asked concerned. "Yes, I am, I remember I have some work to do in the library📚!", he stood up quickly. "Wait! I will go with you!", you grabbed his hand with force more than intended causing him to turn back and stumble towards you, he managed to catch himself before falling over you. You could see that his whole face, his cheeks and tips of his ears were red😳. 'You..you were blush..blushing?', you thought trying to process the crazy situation. But even more that thing, the current position was more embarrassing with Mitsuhide holding the table behind you for support to avoid falling over you leading you to be trapped under him🙈 *kabedon fufufufufu😘😏*, his face extremely close towards you looking at you wide-eyed, you could tell that he was caught off guard😳😮. Upon such close inspection of his face, you noticed he has grown up so much more handsome, his pretty eyelashes👀, his jawline, his lips, his silver bangs falling over his face, golden eyes shining in the dim light of his room, his racing heartbeat along with yours, you couldn't tell whose heart was beating more wildly💓, he was also staring deep into your eyes. The reality that you both were no longer kids fell heavily upon you, you were adults, yes, which caused you to gulp and snapped out of the daze. "Um, could you give me some space😅?", you asked awkwardly. Mitsuhide also snapped out of his daze from admiring your beauty that has only increased over the years. He nodded and replaced his flustered expression with his usual foxy smirk. "Oh my, you have grown extremely strong, my dear fiesty mouse😏!", he commented. "Shut up! I am going to the library📚! If you want, come with me!", you said with burning cheeks running outside of his room🙈. "You said *with* but you already ran out😏!", Mitsuhide called loudly. "Follow me then🙈!", you replied. Mitsuhide laughed loudly at his adorable little mouse🤣.

Soon your magic academy🏰 was given notice by one of the top competing magic academy known as "Dark Magic School" of another village mainly famous for practicing dark magic & evil energy for the "Battle for Power". "We have been negotiating with them for the settlement or treaty of peace but...it seems they are not ready to give up on their selfish motives😔", the old headmaster said sighing to himself addressing the whole assembly of students who were silently and carefully listening to his words.

"Seeing that we have no other option left with us, we have to prepare for the upcoming dangerous battle!", said the headmaster with a stern and decisive tone. The students started murmuring among themselves hearing the announcement. "Silence!", said the head professor. The students again stood in attention. "It is very important to make sure our academy doesn't fell in the hands of them or else it will be disastrous for the future of this academy as well as our village, this prestiguous academy is now in your hands. Now, we will be choosing 7 students to mainly lead in this battle, this is the time when your years of knowledge and experience will be put to test!", the headmaster continued with a very serious expression on his face. "Who want to participate in this battle?", asked the head professor.

"I will protect this academy🙋🏻‍♂️!", Nobunaga was the first student to raise his hand. Hideyoshi was taken aback by the sudden announcement of his elder brother. "Sir, I will join to protect my brother and this academy!", Hideyoshi joined. Everyone looked at him with 👁👄👁 expression on their faces. "I will protect this academy as well🙋🏻‍♂️!", said Mitsuhide with a confident voice. You looked directly towards him, shock written all over your face😳. "I will join as well🙋🏻‍♂️!", Masamune raised his hand. "I will take part in the medical department of this battle💊!", Ieyasu declared. "Sir, I will take part as an advisor of the battle🧐🙋🏻‍♂️!", Mitsunari joined as well.

"MC!", the head professor called. "Yes, Sir🙋🏻‍♀️!", you replied. "You will be joining with Ieyasu in the medical department as you are one of the best students here in healing magic💯!", the professor announced. "Yes Sir, I am ready for it🙆🏻‍♀️!", you nodded with a confident voice. "I am so glad to see that our students are so good at heart and are ready to do anything for the betterment of the future. If you succeed in this battle, you all will be given the entire responsibility of the town and known as the great wizards of this magic academy🧙‍♂️. You need to be very careful as I must remind you this is the life or death situation, no one knows, whether I or any of you will make it out of this battle successfully, so give your best and you can still back out if you want!", the headmaster said with a grim expression😐. "Sir, we didn't take these many years of education in magic to back out the moment it is actually and crucially needed by all of us!", Mitsuhide said with a clear voice😃. "We all will win this battle😄!", Nobunaga said confidently. "Yes, we will!🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♀️", everyone said around them. "I am so proud of all of you! Our future is in safe hands😊! SPREAD LOVE AND GOOD FORTUNE WITH MAGIC✨!", said the headmaster, his eyes moist with pride. The students nodded and repeated the phrase with the same enthusiasm💯.

After the assembly announcement, everyone went to prepare for the upcoming battle in few days. You were visibly tensed hearing the announcement and even though you gave your approval of participation in the battle, there was an intense fear in your mind for losing any of the people you cherished😓. Mitsuhide gently tapped on your shoulder making you jump😱. "Oh my, why are you so nervous😏?", he asked with a cheerful voice. "How are you so cheerful? Aren't you scared of going into battle?", you asked nervously😟. "Little mouse, this moment was inevitable, we have been learning and practicing magic since years for the sole purpose to spread love, harmony & good fortune, protect anyone in need, aren't we☺️👀?", asked Mitsuhide holding your shoulders looking deeply into your eyes. You nodded. "So if you will stay nervous & afraid thinking about the consequences, you will not be able to focus to give your best and it will do more harm than good😊!", Mitsuhide said encouraging pulling your cheeks and massaging your shoulders to relax you. You smiled gently finally letting go of the tension in your shoulders. "Promise me one thing!", you said holding out your pinky finger🤙. "You will win this battle and come back safely!", you said with a pleading look in your eyes😟. "I promise you that I will win or whoever shall tease you if I leave you alone☺️😏?", Mitsuhide said with a soft smile holding out his pinky finger🤙and joined it with you and he embraced you tightly🤗💛.

1 WEEK LATER-

The fierce battle between both the magic academy started and there was full chaos all around🤺👥🏰. Nobunaga, Mitsuhide, Masamune and Hideyoshi already went off to the battle along with the headmaster and professors. You and Ieyasu were developing healing potions as well as treating the injured with your magical powers💊. Mitsunari was screening the battle using his meditation magic on the hall mirror🔮 & preparing strategic information to be sent on the battlefront for the advantage📝.

"Our academy is faltering despite the given advantages, the dark magic academy has been leaded by Yoshiaki & his companions & he is not playing fair on the battleground, he has mislead others and separated them from Mitsuhide! If this keep going on, we will lose this battle😰!", Mitsunari announced. "What😱?!", you exclaimed, worried. Your gaze fell upon the mirror where you saw Mitsuhide whose energy was draining on the severe level trying to defeat so many people all alone😵. "Mitsunari! We can't sit here, we have to go to help them right now😰!", you exclaimed worried for everyone.

You and Mitsunari looked towards Ieyasu worriedly who was working very hard on the injured. "'Don't worry about me! I can hold on till you return! Go and help them🙍🏻‍♂️👍🏻!", Ieyasu said while you both nodded "We will come back very soon!". You and Mitsunari held hands and used transportation magic spell🙍🏻‍♂️🤝🏻🙍🏻‍♀️. You both found yourselves on the battleground and you ensured him that you would take care of Mitsuhide and he should go to others before it's too late. Mitsunari nodded and went towards the direction where Nobunaga, Hideyoshi and Masamune were casting spells and others to help them change the strategy to win this battle. Mitsuhide was facing off Yoshiaki and his many men all alone🙍🏻‍♂️, both using magic spells continuously trying to attack each other, "You created this trap to mislead my companions but don't think you can win yet!", said Mitsuhide gritting his teeth.

"Give up!", Yoshiaki laughed like a maniac🤣(well, he is already😒). "Never! The magic only proves useful when it's used for good, it will never prove useful for someone like you😠!", Mitsuhide said with a dangerous smile, anger in his eyes, his breathing ragged. He killed his men with a strong spell even being at a disadvantage which made Yoshiaki go crazy with seething rage. "DIE👿💥!", Yoshiaki chanted another strong magic spell as a final blow to kill him. Mitsuhide's knees buckled under him due to extreme loss of energy. Out of nowhere, you appeared & shielded him from the attack🙅🏻‍♀️💥 & counter the blow of petrification back towards Yoshiaki "NOT YET! You cannot harm him anymore when I am here with him, take this😠!", you said glaring at him. "MC, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!", Mitsuhide asked worriedly😰. "I can't bear to lose you, I came to protect you😥😢!", you said focusing your energy in that spell🙅🏻‍♀️😠. The spell hit Yoshiaki in the chest and converted him into stone from head to toe. Mitsuhide was taken aback by your strong concern for him🥺."Mitsuhide, kill him🙍🏻‍♀️🙌🏻!", you shouted. Mitsuhide gave a final burst of light breaking the stone into tiny pieces which dissolved in the air💥. "We finally won🙆🏻‍♀️!", you exclaimed and turned to Mitsuhide who was panting heavily as he stumbled towards you. You caught him in your arms as he muttered, "Thank you for saving me once again🤗", you were confused, 'Once again?'. He realized that very moment he couldn't control his feelings any longer, he needed to confess it but before he could say another word, his senses gave out and he fainted in her arms.

"Mitsuhide!", she exclaimed in shock trying to keep her balance😱. You made him sit infront of a tree and observe his injuries & his burning fever🌡. "Thank God, I have this flower! Mitsuhide, you will be fine😥!", you said as you took out the flower and chanted the spell making it shine bright in the night & mixed it in the water🌸✨. You brought your palm infront of his lips and made him drink it💛. You waited with bated breathe for him to open his eyes as his injuries heal and fever broke as you gently called him by caressing his cheek, "Mitsuhide, look at me🥺", few moments later, he regain his consciousness as he looked hazily towards you. "Mitsuhide😍!", you exclaimed happily, tears rolling down your cheeks❤😭. "Why are you cry---", before he could asked his question, you hugged him tightly🤗, "You are so stupid making me worried like that, you know, but I am so glad that you are safe😢❤😍!", he put his arm around you back and embraced you😊🤗. He looked down his arm, all his bruises gone and his temperature back to normal. "You healed me right, little mouse☺️?", he asked with a grateful tone. "Who else can you see here to treat you😏? That's the same flower on the day I almost got killed by lions😅😂!", you said with a boastful look while giggling. "Thank you, little mouse🐭💗!", he said with a soft smile🥰❤.

"MITSUHIDE! ARE YOU OKAY😱?", Hideyoshi came running along with others. "Here comes, mother hen😏", Mitsuhide chuckled. "Did you all manage to defeat their army🤔?", you asked. "Yes, our initial plan backfired but Mitsunari came at the right time😏!", said Nobunaga proudly. "Thank you✨😇!", said Mitsunari with a bright smile. "It was so fun🤪!", said Masamune. "MASAMUNE, PLEASE🤣!", everyone laughed and he pouted😕. "You all did tremendous job😁!", said the headmaster and the professors. You help Mitsuhide to stand up and let him lean on you for support. "Thank you so much, Sir🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♂️!", you all said bowing down. "You all made it alive, I am so proud of you, these students saved our future💯!", said the headmaster happily. "We must hurry back, Ieyasu is handling everything alone for too long there😥!", you said worriedly while everyone nodded. "We will leave first😃!", you said holding Mitsuhide's hand and transported back into your academy👫🏻🏰. "MC, thank goodness, I need your help here!", said Ieyasu letting out a relieved sigh😌. "Go and take rest, Mitsuhide, I will see you tomorrow😁!", you said with a gentle smile. "I have to tell you something important tomorrow😉!", he said holding your hand. "If it's important, why not now🤨?", you asked raising your eyebrow. "No, let's meet tomorrow in the castle garden at sunset🌄!", Mitsuhide smirked. "Oh you tease, fine😂!", you giggled as you made your way towards Ieyasu while he looked at you dreamily💗😍.

NEXT DAY:

"Where is he🤔?", you looked around the main hall. You heard a whistle which you knew very well came from Mitsuhide😙🦊. "What game is he playing now😂?", you wondered giggling to yourself and moved towards the source of the sound and flying letters💌 guided you, it was as if the setting sun was decorating your path towards him💛🌄. You finally found him with his usual smirking face😏. "Welcome, little mouse🐭💗😁!", Mitsuhide said with a huge grin. "What's gotten into you all of a sudden😏?", you crossed your arms smirking at him. "Oh my😏, whatever do you mean little mouse😁?", Mitsuhide chuckled and held your hand. "Let's go😎!", he said. "Wait! Where---Uwaaaah!?😱", you exclaimed surprised when both of you suddenly found yourselves in air🌬. "Hold on tightly little mouse if you don't wanna fall😂!", Mitsuhide laughed. You clinged on him for your dear life as you were unprepared for it😱. He brought you to the beautiful huge garden💚. "Where are we🤔?", you asked looking around curiously. "The place where we met for the first time🥰!", said Mitsuhide with an nostalgic expression on his face🥰💛. "What? But we met for the first time in our academy, didn't we🤔?", you asked confused. "Let's see🥰!", Mitsuhide created magical stairs with using the starlight🌟. "Wow!", you exclaimed at it's beauty😍💗. You both stood at the top of the staircase standing together holding hands💛👫🏻.

"There was a very poor boy who lost his parents at a very young age, he found himself lost roaming around this garden, he didn't have any source of light or purpose to continue with his life, he was starving, not eaten anything for days but...when the boy wasn't expecting anything from his life, suddenly a bright light came into his life💛✨", a fond smile appeared on his face🥰. "A girl came skipping towards him with a bright smile on her face🥰✨ offering all the food she was herself eating to him🍱, when neither cared or noticed him, she gave him a reason to live this life✨, her bright smile filled with innocence😍💗which made him realise that there must be so many people who were unaffected by the harsh realities of the life & it gave him the urge to be able to protect anyone with his entire being leading to his start of beautiful journey in world of magic🧙‍♂️💛", Mitsuhide turned towards you with a beautiful four leaf clover pendant in his hand☘. The recognition dawned upon you seeing it, "Mitsuhide, you were that boy😲!", you exclaimed loudly, tears rolling down your cheeks😢. You remembered that it was your pendant that you gave to him as a kid because you couldn't stand seeing him so sad & wanted him to be happy and lucky✨. Mitsuhide nodded and smiled at you🥰, for the first time, you saw tears in his eyes😢. "I thought it was the blessing only to meet you😇 but you can't describe my happiness and surprise when I saw you for the second time in the magic academy🏰, I recognized you instantly, the only difference being that cheerful girl crouching down, scared like a little mouse🐭💛!", Mitsuhide chucked at the beautiful memory😂. "I told you that I wanted to tell you something important, so here it is🥰!", Mitsuhide turned towards the sky and moved his magic wand causing all the stars🌟 to form a sentence into the moonlight sky- *I love you💝!*. You couldn't stop smiling at the three golden words written in the sky😢🥰. Mitsuhide moved his wand causing all the rose petals to shower over you🥀. "I have always been in love with you💝, your boldness & honesty❤, the way you saved me, defended me, you were scared but never back down on your values💯, the way you cared for everyone🥰, your adorable expressions😂, I thought I was happy loving you one-sidedly but yesterday when you jumped in to save me, I realise I couldn't control my feelings anymore💗, I love you with my heart❤", Mitsuhide took a deep breathe and bend on his knees and extend his hand, "So would you give me the honour of holding my hand and letting me love and protect you all my life✨💗?", he asked looking straight into your eyes, his expression full of sincerity🥺💗. You were so overwhelmed with emotions, you nodded, took his hand🤝🏻 and hugged him tightly & he gladly embraced you back and put the pendant on your neck🤗. "You perfect, wonderful & horrible tease💯💛! I It really is destiny that brought us together✨! I love you too and never let me go💗 & if you try, I will catch my fox🦊!", you said crying tears of happiness into his arms. "I love you too and I will never let go of my little mouse🐭❤!", said Mitsuhide as he took your cheeks into his hands and you both shared a deep and passionate kiss💏.

"As expected from both of you😏!", Nobunaga smirked. "HOOOOH, we are not surprised at all🤣!", Masamune laughed loudly when you declared your relationship of lovers to your friends💑. "Well you behaved like lovers already before so I am not surprised☺️", Ieyasu said with a soft smile. "I am so happy for both of you that I can dance🕺🏻!", Mitsunari said with a bright smile. Cue Ieyasu rolling his eyes- Please don't🙄! "MC, are you sure, this snake is the right person for you🐍?", Hideyoshi asked frowning at him. "Oh my, I am hurt, Hideyoshi😏!", Mitsuhide smirked. "I am 100% sure, Hideyoshi, I love this boy with all my heart as well💗💯!", you said confidently looking at Mitsuhide whose cheeks went red😳. Cue-Loud gasps😱! "You are capable of making that expression😱!", exclaimed everyone in chorus. "SHUT UP🤨!", said Mitsuhide frowning at each of them while he took your hand scurrying away while everyone laughs at him & you couldn't stop yourself from smiling seeing his adorable blushy mess😂💗.

"I didn't know you were so adorable❤!", you teased him pulling his cheeks😂. "Stop it😐!", he said curtly, blushing😳. "Noooo!", you said giggling at him, you kissed his cheek and ran away. Mitsuhide.exe. has stopped working. "Little one, you always surprise me😂🥰❤!", he said with an affectionate smile coming out of his trance.

Nevertheless, you were still coping up😳 with the fact this sneki fox was hopeless romantic💗 and possessive about you💁🏻‍♂️ deep beneath his smirky & calm facade😏. Your days with him after becoming lovers were more fulfilling than they were before❤. He would display his affections for you openly infront of everyone such as whispering sweet words in your ears🙈. But whenever you tease him😏, he would turn into an adorable blushy mess and act awkwardly making you burst out in laughter🤣. Expect him to hug you first thing in the morning, covering you with his cape🤗, laughing to himself🤣and trust me, it is definitely one of the best and warmest moments of your day💛✨. You would feed each other during lunch in your room lovingly❤🥰, yes even though he doesn't have taste, he loves you pampering him and returns it tenfold😏. He loves surprising you with his impressive magic skills, for example, lifting you into the air so you could both dance around clouds happily☁️❤🥰💃. You both would travel around in the sky using his long magical broom, laughing all the way🧹. You both would study together and he would help you everytime you feel stuck with load of teasings💯💛😍 Comeon he is Mitsuhide, what else do you expect from him😏? He would often let you lay down your head on his lap on the garden bench, caressing your hair to let you sleep when you are too exhausted after using magic & look at you with the most pretty smile💛😍🥰.

NEXT YEAR:

Your birthday was in less than a day and Mitsuhide couldn't visibly control his excitement🕺🏻😍. He along with your other friends decorated your room for your special day😍❤✨💛 while Ieyasu was put on the duty to keep you away from the magic academy for almost half a day🏰 (Let's be honest, only he can keep a secret & actually look convincing to MC😏). His reason for leading you away: Help him in his healing magic research😐📚. Thanks to Ieyasu's awesome acting skills😏, both of you came to the academy right before midnight💯🏰, seems like you have forgetten your birthday due to your busy schedule, a huge relief. "Thank goodness!", Ieyasu sighed happily😌👍🏻. "Hmm? You look quite happy?", you turned to look at him😳🤔. "I mean we managed to do all the research work today, this gave me loads of time to actually make the medicines tomorrow🙂", said Ieyasu immediately. "Yes, that's true! I will help you out🥰!", you smiled at him. Ieyasu sighed internally😌. "Good night, Ieyasu!", you wished him😴. "Goodnight..😌", said Ieyasu as he pretended to walk towards his room🚶🏻‍♂️ but when you are out of sight, he make his way towards your room 🏃🏻‍♂️excited.

As soon as you stepped into your room, suddenly lights turned on and a loud "HAPPY BIRTHDAY🥳🥳🎉🎉🎊🎊!", everyone exclaimed happily, taking you by full surprise seeing your whole room decorated😱 with Mitsuhide standing in between all of them singing birthday song to you🎶, smiling sweetly as everyone claps excitedly❤🥰. "I thank god for sending such a beautiful angel in this world!", said Mitsuhide giving you a red rose🌹. You burst into happy tears, embraced him and exclaimed a loud "Thank you everyone for your efforts and love!"😍❤🥺. "Ieyasu, you did a great job, I easily fell for your trap!", you said giggling at him😏😂. "Thanks", Ieyasu blushed happily😊. "Well kitten, see over here😼!", said Masamune pointing towards your table as he uncovers a large chocolate cake😉. "Wow😍✨! You made me a chocolate cake🎂!", you exclaimed happily😍😱. "Well, I wish I could😞!", said Masamune sighing sadly. "Huh?", you exclaimed confused🤔. "The man standing beside you who is your boyfriend made this cake all by himself when he didn't know a thing about cooking, this is his third attempt!", Masamune said laughing🤣 and smirking at him😏. "I hate to say this but he tried his best without using any magic, not letting us help him at all!", said Hideyoshi sighing to himself😌🤦🏻‍♂️😂. "I am proud of my best friend!", said Nobunaga smirking at him😏😎. "Please have a taste, MC-sama!", Mitsunari said excitedly✨😇. You turned to look at Mitsuhide who was waiting for you to have a bite. "Feed me!", you said to Mitsuhide, your happiness clearly showing on your face✨❤🥰. He chuckled and took a piece of chocolate cake and feed you. "How is it?", he asked nervously😅. "Mmmm....DELICIOUS😍✨❤😋💛!", you said highly delighted, closing your eyes. "Even more than my cake, kitten?", asked Masamune surprised🙀. "Sorry Masamune but I could really feel the love with which he has made me this cake so this is the best cake I ever had in my life💛!", you said smiling happily at Mitsuhide🥰❤🤩. Mitsuhide's heart was racing so fast hearing you say those words to him💗💓, he smiled gently at you❤😍✨. "Awww, but congratulations lad for impressing the kitten😼!", said Masamune smirking at him. "Well done!", exclaimed Nobunaga 😏 while Hideyoshi, Ieyasu, Mitsunari happily claps for both of you👏. "Thank you so much, Mitsuhide, I can't describe how happy I am right now🥰❤😭🤗!", you said while happy tears roll down your cheeks as you kissed him on his lips completely taking him by surprise😳 fufufufufu😏💗. "Hooooh~!", exclaimed Masamune and Nobunaga happily😏❤👏🕺. Ieyasu stuffed the whole piece of cake into mouth of Mitsunari and spinned him around facing the wall Ieyasu, don't choke this baby🤣 & slapped his forehead- couple nowadays, atleast wait for graduation *sighs* 🤦🏻‍♂️😌.Hideyoshi closed his eyes as an immediate response, blushing furiously😳🙈. Mitsuhide gifted you a bellflower ring on your 18th birthday as a symbol of his everlasting love towards you which you accepted wholeheartedly💗💍😍😘🥰! "What I did to deserve a golden-hearted man like you, Mitsuhide😭💛😍🤗💗?", you cried happy tears. Mitsuhide wiped your tears smiling gently at you, "I am also thinking about this same question, what I did to deserve an angel like you🥰😍❤😘😇? I guess it's a mystery😏❤", he replied. You both laughed happily hugging each other😂🤗❤. It was the best surprise birthday celebration in your life❤🥳😇.

Few months later, you and Mitsuhide along with your best friends finally graduated from the magic academy👨🏻‍🎓👩🏻‍🎓 and you all stood watching the beautiful sunset holding hands🤝🏻looking forward to your new journey as great wizards🧙‍♂️, praying to always stay together in all steps of life🙏, smiling happily🥰💗.

I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED READING IT AS MUCH I ENJOYED WRITING IT💃💗😍❤😘! LIKES, COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED💃🥰❤🤗!

Also tagging @ashavazesa 😘💗😍❤!

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikesen mitsuhide #akechi mitsuhide #mitsuhide×reader #ikesen nobunaga #ikesen hideyoshi #ikesen ieyasu #ikesen masamune #ikesen mitsunari #magic school #otome games #ikesen series #ikesen headcanon

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dracosearlgreytea · 4 years

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indelicate marks (5)

indelicate marks: chapter five - the first lesson

A/N: here is chapter five! if you have had enough patience to get to here i am very proud and i thank you for putting up with so many arguments haha but dont worry very soon we shall be getting to the juicy stuff! its only the beginning! lots of love - ivy

warnings: language, pretty awful bullying, implications of suicidal thoughts, draco being mean, everyone is mean, but especially draco (im sorry)

lovely tags: @h-annahayy @okaydraco @fanficflaneuse

indelicate marks index

Undeniably, you were utterly and completely terrified of Occlumency. The entire act of it threw you back into the Easter holidays of your previous year at Hogwarts. Hours and hours of having your parents force their way into your mind, digging through every memory and every thought. Every time it left you sobbing, shaking, begging for them to stop, often having to run to the bathroom and turn out your stomach. They were two strangers, really. You'd been a year old when they'd been sentenced to life in Azkaban. Two strangers, rummaging around in your head. You were equally terrified of having to let Draco rummage through it, too. After having counted down every day till your decided meeting, there was a slight tremor in your hand to compliment the nausea sitting in your stomach as you climbed the shifting stairs. You were grateful that everyone was in the Great Hall and wouldn't be able to see the direction you headed. Not that anyone would take notice. Not unless they'd found some new threats to hurtle at you, anyway. Although you tried very hard not to, you seemed to have taken up a new habit of paying attention to Draco and his ever worsening appearance over the past few weeks. It was as though he got more and more exhausted every day, and whilst you could feel a very similar phenomenon within yourself, the fact that Draco Malfoy was so concerned about... Whatever it was he was dealing with, was making you - as much as you loathed to admit it - worry. Not just for whatever chaos would surely ensue from it. Of course, it was bound to be related to the mark on his arm, which only made you worry more. What the hell had happened to him over the summer? Worrying about Draco and whatever his involvement with the Dark Lord was only seemed to make your own anxieties multiply. It was a spiral, a steep and downward spiral, that left you with that constant sick feeling. It was as though you were falling, slowly and quickly all at the same time. You had a million questions for him that you would never allow yourself to ask, and he would most certainly not ever answer, but they echoed in your mind into the night, keeping you tossing and turning in your bed. Did he take it willingly? No, surely not, or he wouldn't have been crying about it that time in the bathrooms. Would Draco have just let someone give him that mark? And who did? Does Voldemort have to give each Deatheater a mark individually? Oh, shit, what if I have to actually meet the Dark Lord? No, that doesn't make sense... On, and on. Hesitation overcame you as you finally arrived outside the classroom door and you had to take a deep breath to settle your nerves before you pushed it open. Dust shifted in the air as you entered, illuminated by the days last light, which flooded in through the broken, tinted windows. Desks still sat in rows, facing a chalkboard that would most likely never been used again, papers scattered and worn into the floor beneath your feet. "You're late." The drawl of an increasingly familiar voice still made you jump, and your eyes flicked to the edge of the room opposite you. You'd almost missed him, where he sat on the edge of a desk, partially hidden by the shadows. His wand hung from his fingers, and he flicked it up absentmindedly. "Colloportus." Behind you, the door clicked, locked. "Was that really necessary?" You muttered, edging away from the door, trying to ignore how the action made your heart rate increase. There was no escape. You were now locked in a room with Draco Malfoy - who, was about to delve into your most private thoughts - and was also a Deatheater. He washed his grey gaze over you, eyes finally coming to meet yours piercingly, sending a small shiver down your spine. "Can't be too careful." He shrugged. Coming to stand a couple meters away from him, you inspected him, noting how pale he looked. More pale than usual. In fact, he looked as though he could have been sick. "You look like you're about to fucking puke." Draco spoke again, monotone, snapping you back to the situation at hand as he withdrew. Looking you up and down, his lips dragged downward in a vague disgust. Feeling all too uneasy under his scrutiny, but passing off the feeling, you rolled your eyes. "Skip the niceties, by all means." Your mutter prompted him to smirk lightly, your gaze becoming all too focused on the way the corner of his lips then shifted upward. "I'm about to be inside your head. I wouldn't worry about niceties." Dread pooled in your gut at his blunt words, and you pulled your eyes away from him. Standing, he gave you another, rather condescending look. "You aren't about to puke, are you?" "No," You groaned, shooting him a glare. "Let's just - just get on with it." Draco only tightened his grip on his wand, adjusting his stance. "Clear your mind, and focus." Your chest was painfully tight, sending him a nod of acknowledgement. He seemed to take this as a prompt, as his wand came upward, and he spoke clearly. "Legilimens!" Panic flooded your being as his conscious plummeted into yours, thoughts loud and overbearing as you tried so hard to ignore them - but the feeling was overpowering, utterly overwhelming, and your parents voices were too loud in your ears again. Stop being so overemotional! Compartmentalise! It was too much. The Forbidden Forest, third year. "Deatheaters like Dementors, don't they?" Laughs and shouts came from around you, their grips hard on your arms. They dragged you through the trees, your feet skimming over fallen branches, stopping you from struggling. You were shouting, protesting, but the grips were tightening more and more. There was a dip in the ground, and then you were falling, hitting the dirt with a thud and rolling over damp mud. "You'll be right at home with the Dementors. Mum and Dad ever talk about them?" Winded, you coughed, heaving as the cheers died down. Icy cold spread over your skin, the sound of deathly wheezing echoing in your ears. Footsteps, fell away and you ran your eyes over the lake - cloaked figures descending around you, predator to prey. You let out a choked sob, gripped with fear. Stumbling to your feet, you began to run, one of the vile creatures swooping in close. Your ears rang as it approached you, and the force of the kiss pushed you back to the ground. Terrified, you curled in on yourself, shivering and freezing. Just kill me, please, just kill me- Another dark blur, and then you were plunged into another setting before you could even attempt to take back an ounce of control. The Room of Requirement filled out around you, bursts of white light shooting across the room. Joy - it was such an unfamiliar feeling, but you welcomed it as your lips stretched into a grin. Hermione Granger shot you an equally wide smile as a bright, white otter swum around her, before jetting towards you, just missing you as your own patronus leaped up into the air. A laugh escaped your lips, echoing in your ears as you stared back at the creature, swiftly moving up, up, up, until - there was an awful shattering, the walls seeming to groan, lights flickering around you. The joy dissipated, and you were left with fear. Words scrawled across your hand, etched into your skin, burning. "Harry! Hey, Harry," You were in the hallway, now, after detention with Umbridge. The trio did not stop, Harry's head only turning briefly as you called. "I need to talk to you," You tried, rushing after them, and he finally stopped, only to spin and fix you with a stare. "It's over." He growled. "Stop making excuses. You told Malfoy, didn't you?" "No!" You begged. "How could you say it was me? You saw Cho-" "Don't bother talking to us again, Y/N." There was rage. A lot of rage, but it only simmered into a terrible self loathing, as you watched them walk away, burning inside. Smoldering. Before another memory could take the previous one's place, you threw yourself out of the memory violently. Stumbling away from him, you dropped to your knees, tears stinging your eyes. Bile burnt the back of your throat as gasping desperately for oxygen. That horrible feeling of rejection took a moment to fully fade, leaving you shivering and hiccuping as tears rolled down your cheeks. "Take your time." Draco sounded a lot closer than he was before, and you pushed yourself to sit upright. Dragging in long, deep breaths, your eyes shut as you wrapped your arms around your legs, curling in on yourself. Shockingly, he didn't have that usual taunt in his tone. When the dizziness finally passed, you dared to open your eyes, wiping your face and giving him a glimpse. Draco looked tense, features tight as he stared back at you. The look in his eye was intense - but other than that, you couldn't quite decipher what emotion it was reflecting. Before you could talk, he extended his hand, and you stared at it for a moment. The out of character act eased the knot of anxiety in your stomach, and you took it, allowing him to help pull you up off the floor, his eyes not leaving you once. Avoidant of that persistent gaze, you sighed. "What?" "What?" Draco raised an eyebrow. "If you've got something to say, then just bloody say it." You snapped, lips curling into a small frown. He continued to watch you, silent, for another second. "Why did you help Potter?" Draco asked, tone edged but not harsh. You blinked in surprise, lips forming a small frown. "What do you mean?" "You joined that group." He stated, as though his question had a very obvious answer. "Why? You get treated like shit by Mudbloods." Hesitating, you faltered, struggling to put words together as he continued to search your expression. "I - I guess I had something to prove," You began, carefully, narrowing your eyes at Draco. His eyes were piercing, brow furrowed with his arms crossed across his chest. "Why do you care, anyway?" "I don't." He spoke, quick, cold. "It just seems idiotic." A spark of anger flickered in your chest, and you tensed your jaw, head shifting to the side ever so slightly. "I don't need your input on my choices, Malfoy." You spoke low, warning, his eyes lighting up as his lips pulled into a small sneer of amusement at your tone. "No, I'm intrigued," Draco pushed, a cruel look flushing over his features. "Tell me why you'd want to fight for the side that took your family away from you." "Shut up." The anger was simmering, breathing shallow as you stared at him. "You really want to save the people that carved up your arm? Fed you to Dementors?" That smirk was vile as it crawled upon his lips, eyes set on you as you struggled to keep your emotions at bay, tears now stinging your eyes. "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about." "Because as much as you try to, you're not going to get away from it." The grey in his eyes was cold, the smile falling, leaving him with a dead look that chilled you to the bone. "You're always going to be the daughter of two murderers." Ripping your wand out of your pocket, you flung a wordless spell towards him - he managed to react quickly, throwing himself out the way. The spell, instead, hit the wall, leaving the brick black and singed. Draco gaped, eyes wide, from you to the wall. "That could have killed me!" "You're pathetic." You spat, hot with fury. "You will never, never, understand what it's like to not have a choice." Something flickered in his eyes, and his features pulled in painfully tight. You faltered. You'd never seen him look so angry, except for perhaps the first time you'd seen him in the bathrooms. "You think I had a choice?" Draco hissed, eyes stormy as he glared at you. "You think I fucking wanted this? If I don't do this - my mother will die, I will die!" A terrible silence fell between you. Breathing shallow and heart hammering in your chest, you stared at him, horror settling in your chest. Draco seemed to be just as stunned, shoulders rising and falling harshly, rage still echoing in his now fallen expression. "Do what?" Your voice trembled as you spoke. His eyes darted away from you, before he became vacant again. "It's none of your business." He grumbled, stalking toward the door. "We're done for today." "Draco-" But he had already unlocked the door with the flick of his wand, and you came to stand in the doorway as he strode out the room, vanishing into the darkness of the corridor.

#draco x you #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy angst #harry potter fanfiction #slow burn

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nerdzzone · 4 years

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Light After Dark: Chapter One

Summary: Brooke Harris was trying her best to be grateful. As the world tackled the COVID-19 pandemic, she was healthy and safe and so was the rest of her family, but her dreams had very quickly been crushed by the economic fallout. Trapped on the quaint island of Jersey with nothing, but free time to wallow in her mistakes, Brooke’s mental health was taking a hit, but when she collides with a handsome stranger she starts to realize that the future might not be so bleak and there might still be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC

______________

April. 12. 2020

Stress.

Everyone was feeling it these days. Pandemics will do that to people. Especially when the world that everyone knew and loved had crumbled into an entirely different, almost unrecognizable version of itself.

Restaurants were closed. All stores that were deemed non-essential were shuttered. The streets were empty.

It was an odd kind of bittersweet. It was heartbreaking to see all the bustling cities turn into ghost towns, but it was good because it meant that people were listening. People were caring about their vulnerable friends and neighbours, their elderly grandparents, the health care workers who fought tirelessly to save those who needed their help.

It was a necessary evil, but nevertheless it was odd to see and the uncertainty of how the future would unfold was anxiety inducing.

At first, I wanted as much news as possible. Staying informed of everything happening in every affected country gave me some comfort. It was as if it somehow gave me more control, but I quickly realized that wasn't the case. It gave me no clearer indication of how or when things would end or when some kind of normality would return. It left me overwhelmed and drowning in hypothetical worse case scenarios when really the truth was that no one had any idea. Even the experts couldn't say what would happen next. It was all just guess work and while some of it was educated, most of the articles were not and it was turning me into a nervous wreck.

So I decided to disconnect. I decided to trust that I would be informed when the number of cases dropped and the lockdown was lifted and trust that the process would not be sped up by me consuming as many statistics and projections as I could find.

Turning off was hard though. I wasn't one of the lucky few who could simply do their job from home, I had nothing to fill my days. I had also chosen to isolate with my parents in the lovely house they'd bought a few years earlier on the beautiful island of Jersey. In some ways this was a lucky choice as the risk was far lower than in London where I was living, but it was quaint and the lack of hustle and bustle made me feel even more restless.

Which was how I found myself out exploring the trails.

My mother had kicked me out of the house when she caught me doing one of my niece’s art projects for her out of boredom. My niece hadn't wanted to do it anyway, so I didn't see the harm, but my mother had reminded me that she was seven and didn't get to just opt out of schoolwork if she wasn't in the mood. She then cited some article she'd found about how the government were still encouraging people who were feeling cooped up to go outside to exercise once a day and tossed me my shoes and bag before pushing me to the door.

I'd wandered sulkily at first, frustrated that at thirty I was in a situation that had my mother tossing me outside the way she did when we were kids and our endless energy was getting on her nerves. But I soon realized she was right. It was a beautiful island and I should appreciate the opportunity to explore it. So I found a map, picked a destination and then hiked for almost an hour until I'd reached the viewing point I was looking for.

I had to admit it was a beautiful view as I looked out over the ocean, sitting on the little bench I'd found, but the peace it brought was short-lived. I started wondering if I really should have sat down at all considering I had no idea who had been there before me. My legs were tired so I had figured it was worth the risk as long as I didn't touch anything, but was it really?

Sighing into the mask that covered my face, it struck me again how strange the world currently was. Two months ago, I wouldn't have thought twice about sitting on a public bench or worried what would happen if another group joined me in the little clearing I'd found, but now every stranger was a potential threat.

I quickly grew frustrated with my negative thoughts. The walk was supposed to get me out of my head and I was annoyed that I couldn't shake it, couldn't think of anything else except the stupid pandemic for even just a few minutes. The mask on my face suddenly felt suffocating and I just wanted to get home so I could rip it off.

Rising from the bench, I checked the time on my phone before tossing it back into my bag with a sigh and heading off down the trails. I was in a world of my own as I walked. Day dreams about how things would be now if none of this had ever happened filled my head and then, when the inescapable reality broke through my thoughts, I pondered what kind of new cocktail I could try when I got home to ease the pang of loss that seemed to constantly fill my stomach.

I was in the midst of drooling over a prosecco and elder flower concoction that I'd recently read a recipe for when suddenly it felt like I was hit by a truck.

I landed on the ground, flat on my back, fighting to breathe as the wind was knocked right out of me. My chest was tight and my vision was blurry as I felt a familiar panic rising in my chest. Did I bring my inhaler? Where was my bag? What had even happened?

As the thoughts raced through my mind, I could vaguely hear the sound of someone next to me.

"Are you alright?" They asked, their tone conveying a similar panic to the one I was feeling. "Shit, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Can you hear me?"

I nodded as the spasm in my chest subsided, but my weak lungs seemed to struggle to recover from the shock. I coughed into my mask as I forced myself to sit up, looking frantically for my bag and spotted it a few feet off to the side. My breath was coming out in short wheezes as I struggled to move closer to it, but the man was much faster. He thrust it into my arms, watching me like a worried puppy as I quickly dug through it.

Relief flooded through me as my hand wrapped around my inhaler and I quickly pulled down my mask as I pressed it against my lips. It took a few moments, but I felt myself calm down as the tightness began to subside and my body relaxed. It wasn't until I'd taken a few deep breaths that the man spoke again.

"Are you alright?" He repeated, clearly realizing I was in a much better position to actually give a response. "I'm so sorry."

I nodded as I finally took a good look at who I was talking to and suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe again for an entirely different reason. He had a baseball hat pulled low on his head, probably in an attempt to hide his identity, but it didn't work as I realized I was face to face with Superman himself, Henry Cavill.

"Y-yeah, I'm, uh, I'm fine, thanks," I sputtered out. "What happened?"

Henry rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he squatted next to where I was sitting on the dusty trail.

"I was running and I crashed into you," He admitted. "I wasn't paying attention and didn't see you around the corner."

"Oh," I nodded, still trying to come to terms with the situation. "I wasn't paying attention either to be fair. It's not your fault."

He pulled a face that made it clear that he didn't necessarily agree with that statement, but he didn't argue.

"Are you really alright?" He asked again, guilt written all over his face. "You fell really hard and then you weren't breathing. I thought I'd killed you."

I snorted a laugh, quickly covering my face as it turned into a cough.

"I'm okay," I insisted, my voice raspy. "And for the record I don't have that stupid virus either. I have asthma. I think I got winded when I fell and it triggered an attack."

"Shit," Henry rubbed his face nervously. "So I almost did kill you."

"Nah," I smiled, appreciating how genuinely bad he felt about the situation. "You can't be blamed for my broken lungs."

He chuckled and flashed me a smile before standing and holding out a hand for me. I took it happily, but once he'd pulled me to my feet another issue became apparent. As soon as I put weight on my left foot, I crumbled into Henry's arms, gasping in pain.

"Whoa, I got you," He soothed as he caught me. "What hurts?"

"My ankle," I groaned, shifting all my weight to my right foot and off of him.

Henry's brow furrowed in thought before his eyes widened like a little light bulb had gone off in his brain.

"There's a park nearby," He informed me. "Can I take you there and look it?"

I raised an eyebrow as I hopped slightly to keep my balance.

"I don't remember the Superman movie where Clark Kent went to medical school."

There was a brief flash of surprise on his face when he realized I knew who he was, but it disappeared almost instantly as he chuckled and shot me a smirk.

"I can't say that he did," He confirmed. "But as someone who had to stay in pretty decent shape for that role, I'm more familiar than I care to admit with sports injuries."

"I don't think being bowled over by a man with muscles bigger than my head counts as a sport," I matched his smirk. "But I would appreciate your opinion if you don't mind looking at it. It hurts quite badly and I'm clueless with this stuff."

"Of course," Henry nodded. "Ready?"

Before I could even answer, Henry had one arm tucked under the back of my knees and was holding me bridal style in his arms. I gasped quietly at suddenly being lifted off the ground, but my surprise quickly turned into awe at the ease with which he had picked me up and how he was now walking quickly down the trail as if I weighed nothing at all. It had been far too long since I'd been in a position this intimate with a man and my mouth suddenly felt dry as his biceps flexed under my back and I couldn't help, but imagine what they would look like if we were in other intimate positions.

Stopping those thoughts as fast as they appeared, I pulled my mask up to hide my reddening cheeks.

"We are definitely not six feet apart..."

My mumbled words were muffled even more by the mask covering my mouth, but the shake of Henry's shoulders as he chuckled and the wink that he shot me made it obvious that he'd heard me loud and clear.

****

"Alright, well, it's pretty swollen, but I don't think it's broken," Henry informed me as he sat on the bench of the picnic table he'd placed me on. He'd spent a few minutes wiggling my foot around, watching my response before announcing his opinion. "I think it's probably just twisted or sprained."

"There goes my dancing career." I sighed dramatically in an attempt to make it clear I was joking, but the slight drop of Henry's jaw and the guilt that riddled his face meant I'd missed the mark. "Kidding! I'm kidding. My lack of coordination killed that dream when I was a child. I'm a baker. Or rather, I was a baker."

Henry quirked an eyebrow at my change of phrasing.

"Decided on a career change?"

I looked down, wishing I hadn't brought it up in the first place. I was starting to accept the way things were, but it wasn't something I was eager to discuss just yet.

"I didn't get a chance to decide really," I started to explain, my voice suddenly coming out much meeker than it had before. "The pandemic kinda made the choice for me."

"Oh," Henry frowned. "Well, it can't go on forever. I'm sure they'll start letting places reopen by the summer."

"Not my place," I smiled half-heartedly in an attempt to hide some of the self-pity I was wallowing in. "I put all my eggs in one basket...A basket which the pandemic then threw off a cliff."

Henry chuckled at my explanation, but there was sympathy on his face.

"Is there no chance you could pick up where you left off?"

I sighed, but shook my head.

"I opened my own bakery in January," I admitted. "I barely had it up and running when the pandemic hit and with my asthma, I'm pretty vulnerable so I closed up shop as soon as things started heading south. I sunk all my savings into it though so I don't have enough to keep it a float. I was past the point of no return after only a few weeks of being shut."

Henry was quiet for a moment and I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me as I realized that I'd massively overshared my problems with a stranger who was simply trying to make polite conversation. I opened my mouth to spout out some apologies when Henry cut me off.

"I'm very sorry to hear that."

His eyes met mine as he spoke and even though it was a simple sentence, it put me at ease. His eyes were warm and comforting and it was clear there was sincerity to his words. Not wanting to burden him too much though, I simply shrugged.

"It could be worse," I pointed out. "I'm healthy, my family are all healthy. People have lost a lot more to this virus than I have."

"Just because people have lost more, it doesn't make you loss insignificant."

I had heard his words before and I appreciated the sentiment, but it still felt hard to grieve for a lost business when an incomprehensible number of people were grieving for lost loved ones.

"You sound like my therapist," I teased, feeling a strange warmth in my stomach when a smile slid onto his face. He really was very handsome. It was no wonder why women and men all around the world would kill to get this close to him. "Anyway, I should probably call my dad and see if he can pick me up. I don't think I'll be able to walk home."

Henry nodded and passed me my bag from where it was placed on the ground. He waited patiently as I made the call, arranging for my dad to meet me on the road I could see running past the park just up a small hill. Once it was all set up, I turned back to Henry.

"Thanks so much for all your help," I smiled. "I think I'll be okay for now though, you don't need to waste any more of your day."

"It's not a waste," Henry argued. "Besides, I still maintain this whole mess was my fault so it's the least I can do to help you up that hill when your dad arrives."

"You really don't need to," I insisted. "I can hop or crawl or something."

A laugh slipped from Henry's mouth as he shook his head.

"As entertaining as I'm sure that would be to watch, it wouldn't be very decent of me to let you struggle like that," He held firm, clearly not one to back down easily. "How about as a trade off for my assistance, you can give me your number?"

I snorted a laugh as I looked at him in disbelief.

"You want my number? Is that a joke?"

"No!" He grinned from ear to ear as he fished his phone out of the pocket of his shorts. "It's the least you can do after I gave you my expert medical advice."

"Wow, Mr. Cavill. Very smooth," I smiled, my cheeks heating up as I rattled off my number. He entered it in carefully before looking up at me again.

"Now, I just need a name to go with it."

"Oh! How rude of me." My blushed deepened when I realized I hadn't even introduced myself. "I'm Brooke."

"Brooke," Henry repeated as he typed it into his phone. "It's nice to meet you, Brooke."

"You too," I agreed before deciding it was time to to turn the attention back to him. "So, what brings international superstar, Henry Cavil, to the little island of Jersey?"

"It's my home," He informed me, a fond smile on his face. "I grew up here so when production got shut down due to the pandemic, I decided to come here to isolate with my family."

"What an amazing place to grow up," I said, my words dripping with envy. "You must have had the run of the island!"

"We did," Henry nodded with a chuckle. "I have four brothers so my mother always knew we'd keep each other safe and let us do what we pleased for the most part."

"Four brothers?" My jaw dropped slightly at the thought. "I have one sister and that was more than enough siblings for me."

"It was a lot," Henry agreed. "But it was nice. I love having a big family and we all went to boarding school so there wasn't five of us in the house together all the time."

"That makes it easier," I nodded. "Are you close?"

"Absolutely! I'm closest with my younger brother because we're only two years apart, but we're all quite good friends. We try to get everyone together at least once a year if our schedules permit it."

He grinned as he spoke and it was clear that he loved his family very much. I couldn't help, but return his smile.

"That's really nice."

"Are you close with your sister?"

"I am," I nodded. "It's part of the reason I'm here, I guess. My parents moved here a few years back and she decided to bring my niece here to isolate so they could help look after her. My brother-in-law is a paramedic so he knew things were getting bad long before the lockdown started and he felt it would be safer for her not to be in the house with him in case he gets exposed. My sister is working from home though so home-schooling Molly by herself while trying to do her own work would be tough. Since Jersey is obviously safer for me too with my asthma, I decided to tag along when they came over from London way back at the beginning of March so I can help my sister with Molly too."

I felt like I was rambling and oversharing again, but Henry's eyes were on me the entire time and he never once seemed disinterested. It was refreshing to meet someone who was actually interested in having a proper conversation.

"That sounds like a very sensible choice," He nodded when I was finished my explanation. "It must be hard for your niece to be separated from her dad so I'm sure she appreciates having you around. A couple of my brothers are in the military and I know when they've been deployed, the kids really struggle."

"She's doing better than I expected, but there's days when we can tell she's having a hard time," I admitted. "Are you just isolating with your parents?"

"No, no, we're doing a similar thing to you," Henry smiled. "One of my brothers was over visiting at the beginning of March during a school break so when there was talk of schools closing, they decided to just stay over here. So it's my parents and I, plus my brother, his wife and their three kids. Oh, and my big fluffy dog."

My whole face lit up at the mention of a dog before I could even control myself.

"You have a dog?!" I practically squealed, making Henry's shoulder shake as he chuckled. "Do you have pictures?"

"Of course!"

Henry picked up his phone from where he'd placed it on the table and quickly opened his camera roll. From where I was sitting, perched on the table above him, I could see dozens of pictures pop up on the screen, most of them of a big fluffy, black and white dog. He scrolled for a moment before tapping on one and turning the phone towards me.

"Awwwe," I cooed, looking at the big goofy grin on the dog's face. "What's his name?"

"Kal."

I stared at him for a moment, confusion written all over my face.

"You named your dog Cow?"

Henry tossed his head back laughing, shaking it slowly.

"No, not cow! Kal!" He emphasized the 'L' as he clarified. "As in Kal-El."

"Ooh, I get it," I giggled, realizing my mistake. "Wow, you're a nerd."

"I am," Henry chuckled, not fazed by my jab. "If you think naming my dog after Superman is bad, wait until you hear how I've been spending all this free time."

I wrinkled my nose in mock disgust.

"Let me guess...some video game like...World of Warcraft?"

Laughter once again erupted from Henry, making me laugh at the sight.

"No, surprisingly not," He shook his head. "Even though I did almost miss the call for Superman because I actually was playing World of Warcraft..."

"Oh my god, really?" I raised an eyebrow, finding it hard to believe someone who looked like him was into something that many people consider so uncool. He nodded in confirmation before I got us back the point. "I need to hear that story too, but what have you been doing with your free time then if not gaming? Lifting cars to keep those muscles in perfect condition?"

Now it was Henry's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Cars?" He questioned, but I simply shrugged in response. "No, not that. Well, I mean, I do spend a good portion of my day keeping fit, hence this fateful run, but what I was referring to is this..."

Henry flipped to a picture on his phone and showed me. I wasn't entirely sure what I was looking at so I took a guess.

"Painting figurines?"

"Pretty much," He nodded. "It's all tied in to gaming. They have a whole world and lore created about it."

I giggled and shook my head in mock disbelief.

"If only your fan-girls could see you now..."

"Oh, they love it," He smirked. "I posted the picture on my Instagram and apparently they find my nerdy side rather endearing."

"They're just blinded by your handsome face," I teased. "And your gentlemanly manners."

"Most likely," Henry agreed with a grin that filled me a warmth. "Speaking of, I think your dad has arrived."

I looked over my shoulder towards the road and spotted a man waving his arms.

"Yep," I nodded, shifting over to the edge of the picnic table. "Now, how are we going to do this? Can I hold your-"

Before I could finish my sentence, Henry had his arm tucked under my knees and lifted me up bridal style once again.

"Show off," I teased, reaching back to grab my bag from the table just before Henry started the walk up the hill. "I think you're just trying to impress me with your strength."

Henry glanced down at me with a smirk on his face.

"Is it working?"

It was, but I shook my head.

"No, not at all," I lied. "If the tables were turned, I could carry you just as easily."

I was jostled slightly as Henry laughed at that bold statement.

"You're much stronger than you look then," He informed me as we got to the top. “Hold on to me now."

I listened to his instruction, keeping one arm draped around his shoulders as he lowered me to the ground, letting me lean my weight on him and off my left foot.

"Henry, what a pleasant surprise!" My dad greeted us, making me raise an eyebrow in suspicion of his rather familiar greeting of my new friend. "What are you doing here?"

"Unfortunately, I'm to blame for your daughter's injuries, Mr. Harris," Henry explained looking rather sheepish once again. "We collided on the path."

"It wasn't his fault," I insisted. "Neither of us were paying attention and he was kind enough to check me out after."

My dad glanced between the two of us, curiosity written all over his face.

"Check you out?"

My cheeks heated up as I realized how he'd chosen to interpret those words and I rolled my eyes.

"Check my ankle out," I clarified. "He says it's probably just sprained, but I can't put much weight on it."

"Well thank goodness Dr. Cavill was here to assist you," My dad teased, his smirk making me suddenly very aware that Henry still had his arm around my waist. "Your mother is worried sick though so we should probably get you home."

I nodded and hobbled towards the car with Henry's support. Once I was settled safely in my seat, I looked up at him.

"Thanks, Henry," I smiled. "I really appreciate your help."

"Anytime," He nodded. "Let me know when your ankle feels better, yeah?"

"Of course."

Before I could say anything else, my dad leaned over from the driver's seat.

"Can we drop you anywhere, Henry?"

"Oh, no, that's okay, thanks," Henry waved him off. "I should probably finish my run."

"Is that the safest plan?" I questioned, a smirk on my face. "Maybe you should get yourself a bell first so you don't mow down any more unsuspecting women..."

Henry fought back a smile as he feigned indignation.

"You never told me that your daughter was a comedian, Mr. Harris." He said to my dad as I giggled away at my own joke.

"Yes, well, we try not to encourage her too much," My dad rolled his eyes. "Don't need her getting too big headed now, do we?"

I protested his comment as Henry laughed before we said a quick goodbye and he jogged off down the hill.

We drove in silence for a few moments before my dad looked over at me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," I assured him. "I fell pretty hard and obviously banged up my ankle, but it's definitely not broken so it'll heal."

"I'm glad to hear that," He nodded. Another silence settled between us before he spoke again. "Your mom's worried about you. She said you seemed down this morning and that you’re getting antsy."

I looked down at my hands, not wanting to delve into this conversation.

"Everyone's getting antsy," I shrugged, deciding I needed to quickly change the subject. "Anyway, why didn't you tell me that you knew Henry Cavill?"

"I don't really know him, but his parents live just down the street from us so I've met him once or twice," He explained. "I didn't know you were such a fan."

"Well, I'm not really," I admitted. "I'm not not a fan, but I don't know much of his work. He is rather...You know, he's got a nice..."

I trailed off realizing who I was talking to, but my dad simply smirked.

"A nice face?" He suggested. "Nice abs? Nice arms? Which I'm sure you got a great feel of since you definitely weren't six feet apart, young lady."

My cheeks were red as I swatted his arm.

"I know we weren't," I muttered, feeling like a teenager who'd just been caught sneaking out with a boy. "But I was injured and I couldn't walk."

"Well, I hope you're good at hopping because I won't be able to carry you into the house like that with my old back," He informed me. "I'm no Superman."

I rolled my eyes and mumbled a quick 'shut up' as I looked out the window, but there was a smile on my face that I couldn't shake and for the first time since this whole pandemic fiasco began, I felt a little flicker of hope.

#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fic

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lcuistcmlinscn · 4 years

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𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 | 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐢𝐬 + 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲.

𝐰𝐡𝐨: @harryedwcrd 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: n/a. 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: nyc traffic light party + a random new york street. 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: louis and harry are yelling at each other in the bathroom at the party, and then they’re crying in the streets of new york, until eventually they say goodbye with a promise to see each other back in la. 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬: alcohol use, hard drugs, useless men.

LOUIS: louis took the bag off of justin, blue eyes focused on him and making sure he's okay so when the door opened behind him, louis felt himself need to center his patience. because after only one cigarette and too much alcohol, he really felt himself getting wound up. satisfied that justin was okay, he turned to see who'd joined them and felt the very last slither or patience leave his body. "yeah, exes aren't always the nicest to be faced with," he said, trying to hold back. because he never wanted to hurt harry, louis was just pissed off. harry hadn't done anything wrong by not wanting to come to his show after lou had ghosted six months earlier, but it just stung too much. there's no way he could be around harry and ignore it, and so the end result was to just not be around harry. "i'm glad you're okay, mate, even though i'm currently bein' stalked so can't say the same."

HARRY: "oh, fuck you! what're you on about? bein' stalked." harry was seething. he lost every last bit of cool he was so narrowly maintaining in that moment, green eyes blown and darkened with rage as he turned to look his ex of half a goddamn decade in the face, "you ignored ME! you stopped talking to ME! not the other fuckin' way around."

LOUIS: louis was taken aback by the directness coming from harry. he didn't like it, since he'd actively avoided confrontation by not being around harry all night, and not even directing the words at him when they were together. but now they were face to face, eyes narrowed, and louis tried to put up a good front but it was no secret that he hated seeing harry this mad. "i ignored you? fuck that. i tried to make it better and then you were the one ignorin' me. you don't get to blank me an' then show up like i'm the bad guy. fuck you. now if y'don't mind," he stormed into a cubicle, slamming the door behind him and making the cubicles shake in the process, leaving justin and harry out in the open bathroom as louis dipped the key into the drugs, hand shaking from the adrenaline of fighting with harry.

HARRY: harry was such a softy by nature, he tried not to let things get him worked up like this, epecially since he'd gotten so into meditation in the last few years. but he had a tendency, at times, to become rather intimidating, even a little bit scary, when he was angry enough. couple that with the too-much-tequila coursing through him, and it was an absolute recipe for disaster. "what are you talking about? when did i ever blank you? last time I even heard from ya had to be what, last july? august?" he shouted after him as he came to stand right outside the stall door that louis had just dramatically stormed into and hidden himself inside. "fucking prick, i do fucking mind! come out here and fucking talk to me louis, right now, or i swear to fucking god, it'll be the last time I ever ask you to." it was part threat, part desperate bluff- he didn't want louis basing how much of justin's drugs he partook in to be determined by how high their emotions were both running in that moment, and even in his state of pure rage he felt that compassion for him.

LOUIS: louis couldn't be arsed anymore, hearing how angry harry was just pissed him off further - even if it did also scare him a little. the denial of how he'd ignored the invite. louis couldn't help but roll his eyes, predicting that they were about to go down the route of harry denying that lou had even reached out late last year. louis brought the key to his nose, inhaling the powder defiantly. it was as he tilted his head back to make sure that he got everything that harry made the threat, stopping louis in his tracks. in all honesty he'd been prepared to hide out in there until harry had given up, but after a couple of seconds passed he instead pulled the stall door open. as though he were going to do that anyway, whether or not harry had opened his mouth threatening to give up. lou hadn't expected harry to be right outside the stall, taller than louis but not really intimidating to the older man, who still shouted back at him. "you didn't fuckin' show, you selfish arsehole. i gave you enough notice so that maybe you could make space for me in your schedule, tried twice and you didn't show up. and, i mean, i don't give a fuck, really. if y'didn't wanna come then i didn't want you there. but don't act like i'm being unreasonable by not really wantin' to be around you as a result!" he used the sleeve of his green, yellow and red shirt to brush under his nose, still riled up.

HARRY: harry was so damn confused, all slack-jawed and furrowed brows, words dying on his tongue and leaving him at an absolute loss. he wasn't expecting confusion to overwhelm and take over all of his other emotions so quickly, but it did, and now he just wanted to understand what the hell he'd apparently done to make louis so pissed off he didn't even want to look at him. and as he listened to him and started to gain a vague understanding, all he could muster up was a pained, "what do you mean i didn't show..? i didn't know i was invited to anything! where did you invite me?" he asked him, eyes wide and glassy as they searched his face, "did ya pick up the phone and call me? did you text me? did you facetime me and tell me you wanted me there during a shared wank between old mates? where did you invite me? because i never got any goddamn memo, louis and i'd love to know what the fuck you're on about." he took a step toward him, so they were standing maybe even a little too close for such a heated conversation.

LOUIS: the reaction on harry's face seemed genuine enough that it caught louis off-guard, contemplating that maybe the younger man really did have no idea what he was talking about. stubborn as ever, louis still held his ground. "see, i dunno if you noticed, but i dropped me album and then me tour. and then i sent you an invite thing to the openin' night. to ya house. then i heard fuck all, so figured you'd not seen it, had 'em email you details an' shit." lou wasn't about to let the fact that he didn't reach out via phone take away from the fact that he did reach out, and as harry stepped closer louis still held his ground and frowned at him in return. "old mates? fuck off. i didn't call, so what? you didn't reach out when the album dropped, why the fuck should i?"

HARRY: "i never fucking got that invite, lou.. you have to believe that, as if i'd ever fucking blow something like that off on purpose. who the hell do you think i am, honestly?" he realized he was going to have to talk to someone, whoever the hell he'd gotten ahold of to forward an invite to his e-mail, because apparently they'd fucked him over in a massive way he had no idea of until this moment. but even in realizing he'd apparently fucked up in a way he'd been entirely unaware of, he was still pissed off that louis was being so shitty to him, especially following the last sentence that came out of his mouth, "i dropped an album too. first! and you didn't care about that, did ya?" harry asked him, "why should i have been the one to reach out when you're the one who fucking distanced yourself from me, again? why can't you ever just pick up the goddamn phone and CALL ME?”

LOUIS: louis could feel himself dig his heels into the ground, stubborn and refusing to budge on this so easily. it doesn't matter if harry was making some points, because louis just held onto the fact that he did try, and he knew within himself the rejection he'd felt when harry didn't show. remembering that was enough to power him through. "well that's the thing, haz, i always thought... dunno, i invited you 'cos i thought that no matter what we'd be there to like, cheer each other on," he said, a little flustered now as he spoke. "that's why it fucked me up. 'cos it was so unlike you. but i knew i fucked up, knew that was enough reason for you to change on that front." when harry pointed out that he'd dropped an album first, louis used his elbow to budge past harry and into the bigger area where justin stood. "because what fucking right did i have to call you, harry? i knew i couldn't just keep yo-yoing you. was scared ya wouldn't wanna hear me out, we'd never get to the part where i'd invite ya 'cos you'd be mad. and maybe that's a shit excuse, but i dunno. i also didn't wanna have to witness you rejectin' me calls." e-mails and post could be rejected and ignored, but louis wouldn't have had to feel that.

HARRY: harry suddenly wished he hadn’t had anything to drink. he wished louis hadn’t had anything to drink either, that they weren’t looking at each other through the somewhat foggy perspective that came with being intoxicated. that he was actively making the memory of this moment rather than feeling like he was witnessing it in some sort of strange drunken out of body experience, from third person, as though he were watching someone else have that conversation with louis. “i should’ve congratulated you.” he admitted somewhat meekly after his ex shoved past him so he was standing in the open space of the bathroom where justin stood, eyeing the drugs in his hand for just a moment before meeting his gaze, a silent pleading to leave it there, not to do any more. “shouldn’t have been so...- so fucking... convinced that you didn’t care to hear it from me, after we went so long without talking after..- last spring, summer n everything.” he felt the sinking feeling in his chest that filled him up every time he thought too long or hard about it and considered what he might’ve done so wrong, or what he hadn’t done enough of, to make him walk away from him again after they’d spent an entire year rebuilding their connection. he’d tried so hard to write it off, chock it up to simply how busy his ex must have become with everything he had going on in his life between furthering his career and the custody battle with the mother of his child. but no matter how much benefit if the doubt he’d forced himself to give louis, it didn’t stop him from breaking his own heart at the thought that the older man had simply just managed to remind himself that harry wasn’t what he wanted- again. “but you should’ve fucking called me. you have to know i’d never ignore an invitation like that. i’d never... fuck.” he shook his head, overwhelmed by all he was feeling at once, “you know me, louis, you know i’d have done anything to be there had i just known you fucking wanted me there.”

LOUIS: louis could feel the distance between himself and harry both physically and emotionally, stationed now on the other side of the bathroom, back against the sink as he leaned against it. both of his hands rested either side of his waist at the ledge of the counter, still trembling a little from intoxicated confrontation, the baggy with the key inside gripped tightly. three, maybe four big strides would take him up to harry. but he didn't want that, he wanted to turn and run away. but that's what got them into this situation in the first place, so after briefly meeting harry's pleading eye contact he fixed his eyes down at his white trainers as he listened to harry speak. when harry insisted louis knew him, it sparked something in the older man. pushing himself away from the sink, louis started saying things that he'd of never said whilst sober, essentially shouting in the slight echo of the bathroom, pacing a little. "oh fuck that. i fuckin' thought i knew you. so confident that at the bottom of it all we'd always have support and fucks to give about each others' music. i got most of the way through the set thinkin' you were there. because it was impossible to me that you didn't wanna come. most of the way through before i made eye contact with lots in the crowd an' she shook her head and mouthed that you weren't there!" he didn't even notice out of the corner of his eye the girls arriving because he was looking at harry now, blue eyes sharp and narrow, arms moving animatedly, baggy swinging round in the air, "so fuckin' forgive me if since then it's been hard to believe that i know you anymore, that ya ain't changed, that we aren't different people!" the alcohol was talking now that he'd gotten to a point of anger that he couldn't come down from. "all months after i came to your shows, decked meself out in your merch, met everyone on ya team. fuckin' stood with ya family. and you didn't even fuckin' show up for me!"

HARRY: harry had all but entirely forgotten where they were. it didn’t matter how crowded the bathroom had become or how quickly it was getting even more packed in there, he and louis might as well have been the only people there, he was so zeroed in on him. he’d heard him like this before, pissed off and with multiple substances mingling together in his system in a disastrous combination. but that had always been on occasions where everything was more secure, because at least they were together then, at least they knew they were mutually unwilling to let go of one another on such a deep level that some of the fear was automatically subsided. here, they didn’t have that same security, everything was far too fragile and harry absolutely hated it, it made him wish he’d never come to the party in the first place, hearing louis express to him how impossibly different the two of them were now, how that was enough to believe he had changed into someone who would deliberately skip out on being there to witness something so monumental for louis, it was devastating to know he believed that of him. “you didn’t fucking speak to me! for months! I TOLD you what I wanted, you knew how I felt, after everything- and you still just stopped fucking talking to me, y-... you fucking chickened out louis, admit it. admit it to yourself. you know I would’ve done anything, postponed or canceled anything, in order to be there. had you not gone months without so much as a fucking text.. had you CALLED- fuck the album, you didn’t even care when I had to go to court because some fucking lunatic was actually stalkin’ me, sleeping outside my house every night. fuck do you know about that word, huh? yeah, i’m fucking ‘stalking’ you.” harry felt his eyes well up with a betraying flood of hot tears, but he refused to blink in a way that would let them fall, instead opting to shake his head and take a couple of steps back. “chasing you, is more like it. haven’t been stalking you at all, louis, been chasing you, and what have you been doing?” he was practically shaking with the adrenaline rushing through him, “fucking running away.”

LOUIS: lou was still reeling from the weight of everything he'd just admitted, terrified of being vulnerable, relying on the encouragement of the alcohol to keep him angry so that he didn't fall back on becoming sad, or open to becoming hurt in any way more than he already had that evening what with the confessions that he'd accidentally made when his mouth kept talking without his brain's control. he wanted to punch something, cry a bit, take some more shots, do some more drugs. try and have a good night in the midst of all of this uncovering of wounds that he promised himself he wouldn't touch anymore. that he swore he'd move forwards from. when harry unleashed all of those thoughts and feelings onto louis, it stopped him in his tracks. his hands balled into fists, the edges of the key digging into his palms from inside the bag as he tried to follow all of what his ex was saying. but his palm hurt, and his head was fuzzy, and harry had used the word 'felt' and suddenly everything was definitely NOT okay. the past tense hit him harder that he thought it could, his mouth suddenly dry. "i didn't care?" he dead-panned, "of course i fuckin' cared but what the fuck do you want from me?" he ran a hand through his hair, busying his face in his hands for a second to pull his shit together before looking back, eyes less sharp and more confused, conflicted. he did chicken out and run away and louis didn't need to be sober to know this. "fuck, fuck, fuck," he swore, getting louder with each word and turning away. he couldn't look at harry, or witness how much he'd hurt the younger man. not in a room with their friends right there. "don't you think i know that i fucked up? that i shouldn't have run? i was scared, and that's somethin' that has been goin' around in me head for months and months. you don't think i watched your life, watched shit happen to you, kept up with mutual friends just to know how you are? i just.." he trailed off, looking down at his hands and taking this opportunity to pass the drugs back to justin. he wasn't in the mood for the party anymore, or for the drugs, or for any of it. he couldn't open his mouth and talk about his biggest insecurity right there in front of everyone. lou wanted to delve into something only they'd understand - the pressure of public reaction, louis' fear that he's be nothing but an inconvenience to harry's career just like their old management had told them for so many years. but that shit was buried deep in the pit of his gut, always there and ready to stab him whenever he let his mind linger there for too long - but never something to talk about. he let out a sigh, shrugging, blue eyes meeting green, still drunk and spaced, coked and desperate, but also solemn. "i'm sorry. for everythin'. for wastin' your time."

HARRY: it felt like someone had cracked his rib cage open and pulled his heart right through it to hear louis admit how right he actually was... because the fact of the matter was that harry didn’t want to be right. but the ways that he was wrong hurt even more somehow, because despite all of that fear, despite being so fucking scared, still, for all the reasons louis always had been scared, he was still brave enough to invite him to his show. and harry, however unintentionally, had let him down so fucking hard; the mental image of him getting through most of his set believing that he’d come was so hard to take once he allowed himself to. because there had been a trust built between them even as exes that they had worked so hard for, always doing everything they could not to cross over that fine line from love into hate the way it was so easy to do, because the love was always going to outweigh everything else whether either of them could admit it to themselves it or not. and inside all jokes about ‘mutual respect’ aside, they genuinely did have it, so of course he’d never doubted harry would show, and that (even if he hadn’t received any invitation) alone made the younger man realize he was more at fault for their current situation that he’d wanted to admit to either of them. “don’t do that. don’t fucking do that.” harry shook his head again, he couldn’t stand to hear him say those words ‘wastin’ your time’, as if a single moment they’d spent being aware of one another’s existence and such a prevalent part of one another’s lives, together and apart, could ever be something that harry considered to be a waste of his time. as if he wouldn’t do absolutely everything all over again, exactly the way it had already happened, face and relive all that pain all over again, if it also meant that he could have a second round of that kind of happiness, or just one more taste of the life together he knew he and louis were meant to have but had to tell himself he was never going to have again. he met his eyes for a moment, saying nothing aloud while saying absolutely everything in just those few seconds of heavy eye contact, “can we jus... can we go somewhere?” he plead, glancing over at madison, the two girls she’d brought with her, and justin after he watched louis return his drugs to him. there was no telling what he thought he was accomplishing by lowering his voice now after it had been so unapologetic about calling Louis out in the heat of their argument turned near-screaming match, but still, his tone had gone softer, become somewhat meeker. he was still angry, but he was also just as desperate as louis appeared to be, even if he wasn’t going to outright say it.

LOUIS: in apologising for wasting harry's time, louis was letting his guilt do all of the talking for him. because he genuinely did feel like a fuck up for all of the work that they put into reconnecting coming down to nothing just because he'd gotten too scared to take that final step. it had never been lost on him how different his life could look now if he hadn't cut harry off. because maybe in that universe, harry had been there for the opening show of the tour. and a lot of the shows that followed. and the album release party, the celebratory family dinner, with a photo in a frame to mark the occasion. but he'd had to come to terms with the fact that he'd given all of that away, and maybe deep down under all of the anger and hurt regarding harry not responding to the invite it was really lou's self-awareness of these facts that had him avoiding harry the whole night. unable to face could-have-beens and should-have-beens and instead allowing alcohol to do the job of numbing down any possibility of his mind slipping into this self-reflective state. as soon as harry told him not to go down the route of time wasting, lou pressed his lips together and just shrugged a little, unsure of what to say. preferably he'd say something which sat perfectly in between the right thing to say and the honest thing to say, but he didn't know what they were anymore. their eye contact felt like the closest to complete transparency that louis had gotten all night because although his eyes were clouded in alcohol and drugs and anger, they were soft. harry was stood in front of him and the two of them were talking (occasionally shouting) and that in itself was enough to soften a layer of louis' defences. it had just been too long since he'd seen the younger man in person. in the silence of the bathroom it was suddenly obvious how many pairs of eyes were on them, some of which probably didn't have any idea that anything romantic had gone down between the two of them in the first place. the alcohol kept him from being embarrassed about their argument, but once he was aware of it there was no going back. unable to form the words that he wanted, louis nodded instead, needing to get out of the room that felt so claustrophobic and still had harry's shouts echoing endlessly. without another word, his feet carried him past the girls and through the door, trying not to make eye contact with anyone at the table - especially since he was under the impression that nathan was still there and that was something else entirely that pissed louis off. he didn't want to allow himself to come face-to-face with someone that would re-ignite his anger so soon after he'd started to give into silence. he turned to face harry pretty suddenly after getting out of the bathroom, hand on the doorframe to steady himself so that the alcohol didn't cause him to stumble over at the sudden stop. "leave entirely?" he asked, not sure whether he wanted harry to say yes or no. "we could try goin' for a walk, or somethin'?" he suggested because he was too intoxicated to apply his brain to the consequence of being seen with harry, even if the consequence would be media knowledge and public opinion - one of the factors that had scared louis into running away the last time. plus, he really needed some air. "or.. i'm stayin' not that far from here? it's really up t'you. i just.. someone's gonna interrupt us, here..." he trailed off, mentally adding that with the pumping music and people like taylor and zayn in the building it really didn't feel like somewhere that this kind of conversation should be taking place. and just before he started making a move, he reached up to put a hand on harry's shoulder but stopped halfway. the elbowing harry out of the way earlier had happened in a moment of anger and now louis was just kind of scared to touch his ex. "m'sorry i -" the champagne he'd had not even that long ago made him hiccup "- shouted."

HARRY: harry followed closely behind him as he watched louis make his way toward the bathroom door, paying attention to the way he moved, all the while ignoring his own instinct to reach out and steady him, no matter how powerful it was and how much resistance it took on his part. he touched the door frame directly behind louis’ back, fought the urge to gently place his hand in the middle of it, or somewhere at his waist instead on their way out. he just couldn’t handle the thought of experiencing rejection, opening himself up to prompt louis to shake off his hand or worse, push him off. it wasn’t lost on him that the act of shoving past him, elbowing him like that, had been their first form of actual real contact since the last time they saw each other last summer, or just how different of a touch it had been from the last one. as he stepped in a bit closer just so he could hear louis over the music pumping through the speakers in the club, his felt his mind racing from the possibilities that started popping up at record speed. he knew that his ex was right, that even being in new york rather than LA posed a risk of them being seen together, and the possible complications that could arise with that happening. but he also wasn’t sure that the two of them going back to where louis was staying, or to harry’s barely-lived-in new york apartment, were the ideal direction for the the night to take them in either, it seemed so dangerous to even consider those as real options. so harry went ahead and nodded in agreement, speaking at a volume he was sure louis could hear him at despite the loud music, “yeah, let’s go for a walk..” he ran his fingers back through his hair, trying to come down from all of the heightened emotion still, to get his hands to stop doing that vague trembling thing they were doing. he noticed louis’ hesitation to touch him just before heard his apology, and rather than accepting it just yet he decided upon hearing him hiccup and feeling like his eyeballs were floating in his own right from how much he’d had to drink that he needed to take a preventative measure, to be just the slightest bit responsible in the midst of being fucked up. “jus’ one second though, okay?” he told him, gesturing with his hand toward the bar before heading over in that direction, hyper aware of each step he took as he swaggered on over and asked the bartender for a bottle of water. he was relieved to be handed it immediately and not have to wait, grateful to find it was icy cold to the touch, he thanked them and immediately made his way back over to louis. “alright.” he nodded, starting to break the seal by unscrewing the cap as he walked right behind him, letting louis lead their way outside. the cool night air hitting harry’s flushed cheeks made a huge shiver rock through his entire body, one he was sure was a combined result of his own nervousness and the immediate drop in temperature. “m’sorry I..- yeah, sorry i yelled too.” harry offered, his voice low, and just a little unsteady. he had no idea where they were going, just knew they’d started down the pavement walking side by side and showed no sign of stopping, even if they weren’t moving so quickly. “and i’m...- i’m really fuckin’ sorry, that I didn’t...- that I didn’t call you.” he wet his lips, “I could’ve called you, too.” out came the admission, followed up by another that even he wasn’t expecting to come out, “you were scared but, I guess... in a way, I was fucked up and scared too.” he breathed the last two words out, barely above a whisper, then brought the water bottle up to his mouth, taking a meager sip from it before automatically holding it out to louis without a second thought.

LOUIS: in any state of mind, louis could appreciate that this was progress and he could leave behind the yelling and the frustration in the bathroom alongside their confused friends. when harry had been right up close to him in the doorway of the stall, louis had been overcome with defence and anger. now that enough of that had subsided and harry had stepped a bit closer to him once again, he was now able to take in his ex's features. the familiarity in having harry stood in front of him again and the comfort that he brought even whilst being louis' source of pain. louis remembered their first reconnection and watching harry walk through the door with the pile of merch - remembered putting the hat on straight away, and their hug that lasted perhaps longer than it should've. he'd of given anything to hug him again now, let the alcohol-induced tears fall from his eyes and release his emotions that way instead of allowing himself to flip between angry and apologetic so quickly and unpredictably. lou hadn't brought a jacket or anything so he made a step towards the exit, stopping when harry asked him to wait. he nodded, leaning back against the wall and trying to steady himself. his sleeves were pulled down over his hands, but pressed against the wall in attempt to keep himself from sliding down it. lou didn't take his eyes off of harry's back as he walked over to the bar, and therefore had pushed himself back up and was ready to leave upon his return. one foot in front of the other led louis out of the bar and into the cold, welcome air. it seemed to wake him up and pull him a little closer towards the sober side of the scale. he was actually functional whilst walking alongside his ex, no signs of stumbling or falling even when his feet did drag a little, and he hoped that their conversation would be just as steady. no matter how genuinely pissed off he'd been at the beginning of the evening when he'd seen harry walk in, it was no surprise to louis that they were ending the night walking and talking together like this. it was perhaps always out of their control, magnetically persuaded to at least try to make some of this right where it had gone so, so wrong. the night wasn't as busy as you'd imagine new york to be, but louis still held common sense enough to keep his head down at any point where they passed by relatively close to someone. recognition was the last thing that they needed. louis shook his head 'no' at the man's second apology, looking over at the younger man. "i get why y'wouldn't have called," he said softly, happy that there was no longer any loud music to shout over. the argument in the bathroom mixed with the alcohol had made his voice a little croaky, paired with the cold, metallic taste of coke which still sat in the back of his throat. "you were protectin' yourself. i walked away an' you thought i didn't want you. it.. it makes sense," he insisted, eyes looking into harry's for the briefest moment. silently begging the younger man to never stop protecting himself, or looking out for himself first. louis knew that a phonecall from harry would never have been met with anything less than enthusiasm, but ultimately he just wanted harry to be happy. louis accepted the water, excited to wash away the drugs and alcohol from his mouth and eager to feel more normal. "thanks, harry," he said sincerely, not feeling like he deserved to use any of his old nicknames or pet names on the younger man. after having some, a few moments passed and he spoke again. "i think.." he cleared his throat and had a little more water. "i wanted to call. i know that i wanted to call. but i was just.. terrified," he admitted meekly. "terrified that me pullin' back like that had been the last straw. i dunno what i'd of done if like, yeah.. if you'd of hung up. but it wasn't about me. i shouldn't have been thinkin' about me and so little 'bout you." a strange thing to say since he'd been thinking about harry so much during the time that they were apart, but it was his fault that they were apart in the first place. he couldn't skate around that fact anymore.

HARRY: "s'alright." harry was still clutching the plastic cap between his thumb and forefinger when louis thanked him for sharing the water, words followed by him drawing in a deep, shaky breath, one he did his best to disguise by clearing his throat immediately after. he realized it was a natural reaction he had for multiple reasons. one being that he knew he'd just heard his ex give him subtle permission to snub him on purpose if it meant it was an act of self-preservation, and the self-awareness alone that came with louis saying that, even if it was in their shared (albeit not quite matched, thanks to justin) state of intoxication, was enough to make harry wish he hadn't said a good half of what had come out of his mouth back there in the bathroom. but the shakiness in his breathing was also a reaction to observing the way louis looked down every time they passed someone on the street, even if they hadn't so much as glanced in their direction while crossing paths, in a painful way, also made him glad that he had said it. how conditioned he still was to always feeling some level of paranoia and shame just by standing next to him (or at least that being how it read to harry), even while he should've theoretically been too drunk to care, it absolutely wrecked harry emotionally to see it in a way he wasn't expecting to happen, and he was doing his very best to disguise it as they continued aimlessly down that new york city sidewalk on a street neither of them knew the name of. "i... i just thought you'd..-" harry's tone was still low, and it was obvious he was doing his best to remain calm, but the unsteadiness was still clear within his voice, perhaps more than before. "remembered, all the reasons that you...-" he fidgeted with the little plastic bottle top, unable to look right at louis while he admitted it, "that you'd walked away before." harry finally admitted, making reference to their big breakup back in 2015, after he'd done so much that summer and fall to desperately cling to what had been left of it, how willing he'd been despite everything that had gone so wrong to stay, and try and make it work. it hadn't been enough then, how much he still loved louis, how much he believed in the two of them, how he could expect it to be enough years later, after so much had changed? after all, louis had just said it, they were different people now. "i thought... i'd done something, or there'd been some last straw for you.. t'make you wanna pull back like that." they came to the end of the sidewalk, where it came time to decide whether they were going to turn a corner together, or opt to cross the street. "i did almost call you, y'know? well no, you don't, but..- when the record came out, i mean..-" he stopped there underneath the glow of the streetlight, looking at louis in his stupid striped shirt, wishing he had the real capacity to hate him for how good he looked in it. "...i wanted to tell you that i heard you. that i hear you... but when you..- fuck." yet another deep, shaky gust of air pulled in, his eyes once again going wide and glassy as they bore into his, "when you were able to jus'... stop talking to me, after what happened last spring, i think i jus'...- told myself i'd gotten it all wrong." what other option had he been left with, after all?

LOUIS: louis hadn't really anticipated seeing harry at the party, but then again what had he really expected? the running away had always been temporary. the two of them were in the same band - a band that would inevitably be pulled together again to do something eventually. lou was just a fucking idiot, always thinking of what would be easier in the present moment as opposed to thinking about what would work out better in the long run. hence his ability to run away from harry when things were complicated without really comprehending how miserable he'd be - they'd both be - following that decision. ultimately he was grateful for this conversation, because what was the alternative? seeing him in five years' time when the band does a fifteen year anniversary special and harry is settled with someone new? even entertaining the idea would be enough to make louis feel sick to his stomach. but he'd spent years believing that there was someone better for the younger man out there, who would actually do right by him. louis himself had resolved to not really doing relationships anymore, following his realisation at the end of 2016 that he'd never loved danielle for the whole year they were together. that he'd just managed to convince himself that she was different, but just as good. hearing harry speak with such insecurity whilst linking what happened between them five years ago with what had happened last year made louis feel nauseous, fingertips picking at the plastic label around the water bottle just to stop himself from grabbing harry's hand, pulling him in and never letting go. it was only when they'd run out of pathway that he stopped picking at the bottle, sniffing as subtly as he could as he tried to keep himself composed. channelling the anger from earlier into sadness now wasn't going to fix anything. he needed to keep medium, stay rational, and he looked up at harry as soon as he revealed that he'd almost called when walls dropped. moments of eye contact passed before louis spoke. "mm," louis said, voice nearly cracking even with him just humming in acknowledgement of everything that harry was saying. he cleared his throat before continuing his train of thought. "we always - haz, we knew i was going to fuck up," he said, referring back to 2015 and unintentionally nearly quoting a lyric from a song he'd written and released about that time. "it didn't take me long at all to learn how wrong i was to go. but harry i couldn't -" a deep breath separated his train of thought. "i couldn't let you drown with me anymore. all the on and off, tryin' to piece back together what i'd broken. navigatin' me finding out about freddie. navigatin' how much our lives were about t'change without the band," he listed, eyes now flooded enough with tears that it made the streetlight above them just seem like a blur of light and distorting harry's features in the process, but louis carried on regardless. "you didn't.. last year, i just got scared. i'd spent so long wantin' us again, that when it seemed possible i just didn't know what to do, so.." he didn't finish the sentence, letting the words 'i ran' go unspoken. "stoppin' talking to you wasn't easy. fuckin' hell, you think that anythin' without you was easy?" he asked, voice soft even despite his sharp, frustrated language. at the time that their communication was breaking down he'd been aware enough that he was running away, but still going into the studio to write about how much he missed and needed harry. how sorry he was. and the whole time he'd been plagued with the knowledge that if he tried, if he was brave then maybe they could have it. but he couldn't do it, couldn't let himself go there. he wasn't brave enough to let them learn what they could be like outside of the band, doing things on their own terms, even if it was undoubtedly going to be changes made for the better. he never learned how to be public and proud in the way that harry was, or unlearned the fact that all he'd ever do is hold him back. wasn't brave enough for those changes, or ready, or in the mindset to implement them. "you didn't get it wrong, or do anythin' wrong, harry. i was just.. scared. in too many of the same ways that i was scared five years ago, and none of 'em were to do with your actions." his voice was practically begging now, eyes blurry and pleading harry to not blame himself. louis was so desperate for harry to not think that he'd misread the time that they'd spent reconnecting, that it had ended up being the push he needed to say what he needed to say, even if it wasn't in as much detail as he wanted to give.

HARRY: harry stopped fidgeting with the plastic cap when he saw all of louis' defenses suddenly drop, heard how honest he was being both with him, and with himself, and how painful it was to watch despite knowing on some level that it was necessary. necessary for the two of them, because the younger man had never expected louis to get so candid with him, but also necessary for him, because he knew that saying it aloud wasn't only important for him to hear; it came with a different kind of clarity for each of them, he knew he wasn't the only one who needed it. they hadn't spoken out loud about their actual feelings like this in... god, almost five years, and even then, there'd been so much built up pain and resignation to the end, their communication had been entirely different then, than now. which was why even in his state of still somewhat feeling like he was watching the situation unfold from a third person perspective rather than living through it himself, that clarity was something he desperately craved, and why he was doing his best to focus despite being so fucked up from the way-too-much tequila coursing through him. when he saw the tears pool in louis' eyes, harry was absolutely done for, he couldn't stop the way they flooded right back to his own the same way they had when they were face to face outside that cubicle a few moments prior, and he'd done everything he could to keep from breaking down right then. both of their guards were down now, and at least for tonight, it seemed, there was no putting them back up and shutting each other back out. he cried without doing anything to hold back, hot tears immediately bringing a change in temperature to his somewhat overheated cheeks when the cool night air hit the drops as they fell. he didn't wipe at his eyes or face, he just listened. 'you think that anythin' without you was easy?' that question, if he wasn't so desperate to remain entirely present in the moment, would've been enough to send harry spiraling otherwise. still, he couldn't help thinking of all the times in the past couple of months since its release that he had heard louis out just like this in the only way he'd been allowed to, by putting on his album and doing what he could to try and decipher if as many of the songs on it were about him as he felt that they were. how many times he'd wanted to just call him up and ask him if he meant it at best, or if he was delusional for daring to hope they were written about the two of them in the first place. he sniffled in the silence that hung between them after louis ended it all by admitting that all of it had had to d with how scared he was, how almost identical that fear was to the same exact breed of it that had driven them to break up. he knew his options were fairly limited. he could tell louis to go fuck himself, that he was through with chasing him and hoping that someday things would be different, that he would want to be with him, that the desire to be with him would finally outweigh the part of him that was still, at age 28, kept so bound by the chains that had been put on him at age 18. that he would finally want be brave with him again the way they had been when they were young, more than he wanted to keep hiding such a big part of who he is. but harry knew that could never really be an option, because he knew the truth: that he'd wait the rest of this lifetime for louis, and then go on to find him in the next, if it meant the two of them could be together eventually. of course he couldn't say that out loud, in fact he knew he was so emotional by that point that anything that came out would've probably been uninteligable, but still he needed to communicate what he was feeling with his ex somehow. so without a second more of hesitation he reached out to take the water bottle back from him, his shaky hand raising it up to his lips so he could take a drink from it before screwed the cap back on. and then in the next instant, his arms were around louis in a crushing embrace, he was leaned down burying his tear-soaked face in the crook of his neck, the way he had always made himself comfortable in his arms since he'd first grown taller than him. the hand he wasn't holding the water in was pressed against the back of louis' head, ring-clad fingers gently gripping his hair, but that just made him decide he didn't care about the water anymore, so he dropped it in favor of having his other hand between his shoulder blades. he breathed him in, words pleading and somewhat muffled as he shakily let them out, "don't you dare make me let go. not again."

LOUIS: louis knew that harry would hang onto every word he said, replaying them over and over again after the conversation finished and therefore he was trying to choose them carefully. yet, the truth was that there were no words that could perfectly describe how louis had felt internally for so long and the reasons why he did what he did, because so much of it really was irrational. so much of it existed outside of any logic aside from in louis' head, and the older man just had to keep relying on the fact that harry could understand him better than anyone else and understand his reasonings probably better than even louis could. being vulnerable felt strange, especially when he wasn't even sure what this was all for. when reconnecting before they'd managed to do so without laying their emotions out like this. louis just knew, instinctively, that he couldn't have the luxury of having harry be any part of his life this time around if he didn't learn to share what was going on in his head. pair that with some dutch courage and the words were pouring out of him and into the cold, new york air. so public, yet such a private moment for the two of them. he almost wished that they hadn't stopped under a streetlight so that he couldn't see all of harry's reactions. his own tear-blurred vision was welcome whilst he had been the one talking, but as soon as he was waiting to take in harry's response it was all different. he took in the way that harry was stood, attention entirely belonging to louis. he took in his facial features, his beauty, recalling then how many times lou had looked into those eyes and shared something personal and scary before. the difference was that this time, there was nothing to lose and so much to gain, maybe, eventually. but as soon as harry had started crying, louis was done for. he'd known he'd hurt harry and he'd pushed that knowledge from his brain for the duration that they'd been apart, willing himself to push forwards with his life and accept that he'd never get to have harry be a part of it in the way that he wanted, or the way that he believed he was meant to. and seeing that hurt in the form of yelling in the bathroom felt like payback, and maybe even expected. but this display of pain and care and, louis hoped, understanding - it made the tears spill over for him, too. it felt so undeserved, but so special. like a flood of relief was washing over louis' entire body. feeling like he needed to maintain at least some level of composure, he brought the sleeve of his striped shirt up and wiped under his eyes, looking away momentarily as he got rid of any of the evidence. when harry reached out, louis passed the bottle over silently all the while never taking his eyes of of his ex's face, desperately trying to map out what he was thinking and where it was going to lead them. the older man felt so vulnerable and small, and the time where he was waiting for harry to react felt like tens of minutes that then went on to feel like hours. he could see harry's hand shaking, the emotions behind his eyes and louis was swept up into the embrace so quickly that he didn't know that it was happening until he was there. he wrapped his arms around harry in return, and feeling the tears on his neck was enough for louis to feel the emotion in himself. he let out a couple of body-shaking sobs, needing air desperately but refusing to step away from this hug because for the first time since he'd last walked away, he felt safe. safe yet vulnerable, lost but also understood. his hands gripped onto harry's jacket in a way that silently begged the younger man to never break the hug. to just stay there, until the morning came and he new yorkers came out of their homes and people saw, and louis could start to learn the process of acceptance and true love that was proud in more ways than the ways that he already practised. tears matched the couple of sobs that lou let out, head still fuzzy and body glad that harry was his anchor when the alcohol in his system made him sway, or shake slightly. "m'not gonna," he promised, weak and strained but he meant it more than he'd ever said before. "i don't think i could, hazza," he promised. one of his hands was resting at the nape of harry's neck, thumb stroking his skin gently, soothing. "thank you for... for wantin' to talk. you didn't," louis took a deep breath, letting go of it shakily before continuing. "you didn't owe me that, or have to. 'nd i know that." his voice was soft, whispering right by harry's ear so gently that even if this had been the middle of the day and they'd been surrounded, then those words would still have been for harry's ears only. it was unsurprising to louis how violently this felt like home, because he’d never truly forgotten the feeling of harry’s arms around him and how undeniably right it had always been, from day one, at 16 and 18. when he did pull back slightly to look harry in the eyes he kept his arms where they were - he couldn’t fathom the idea of letting go so soon. he was scared of what he was about to say, still terrified of the rejection that he was scared of feeling the first time, but he knew that he owed it to harry to ask directly, like he should’ve done all along. looking into his eyes, he smiled softly, “an’ when me tour resumes, i’d love you to be there. for openin’ night number two,” he asked, trying not to sound as scared as he was.

HARRY: the contrast between the way that louis had struggled to get out his full name when thanking him for sharing the water bottle before, and the slight trembling in the way he called him by that ever-cherished nickname rather than harry's full name, none of it went unnoticed to the younger male- instead, it was subject to his notorious overthinking. even while he was so completely caught up in the way they slotted together so perfectly, harry couldn't help but notice the difference. they fit like two halves of the same whole being reunited after far too much time, and he had no idea how he was ever supposed to back away from him or bring about the end an embrace that he'd yearned for so deeply, for so long now. when he felt louis melt into him, the way he let himself collapse in the safety of his arms, his sobs of course could only harry into shaky, heavy breaths to try and stop himself from losing control over his emotions pouring out of him in the same way, because he knew that right then, what he needed to do was be the one to hold louis steady. he realized he couldn't always resign himself to being the one tender-hearted, even fragile enough to break down like that, instead he became hyper-aware of his responsibility to maintain a certain level of composure. how he now had to draw enough strength for the two of them from within himself as though he was siphoning it from the innermost depths of who he was. he saw no other option but to be strong enough to let him know that not only did he have no desire to, but he wasn't going to be made to let go again, be it by louis himself or any force outside of their control, no matter the size or intimidation of that force. "i know we didn't have to." he told louis with his lips also near enough to his ear given their position that they practically brushed the shell of it while he spoke. " i jus'.. needed to. we needed to. and not like that." he explained through a sniffle with a breathy edge of barely-there, humorless laughter laced through his words, putting a special emphasis on the one he ended his sentence with as he referenced the fucked up means of 'communicating' they'd been doing in the bathroom before they agreed to take this little walk together. "of course i'll be there." he smiled softly as he accepted his invitation, not even realizing that it the very first time that he had done that around louis all night, "wouldn't miss it for the whole fuckin' world." he had only drawn back far enough to look at him, had no desire to move away from him. all that being so close and sharing such vulnerability with louis just made harry want more, in any way he could achieve it. he smoothed the white collar of his shirt with his ring-clad thumbs as an excuse to remain just as close to him (not that he needed one, given louis' unwillingness to stop holding onto him) - he found himself especially grateful that it'd been his inclination to keep that contact when yet another random new yorker passed them on the sidewalk and he witnessed the vague-but-still-noticeable way that lou flinched at even so much as a the thought of them being seen there together by someone who recognized him. but as much as harry found that it stung, he also found that his desire to be someplace alone, just the two of them, far outweighed the part of him with the capacity to be hurt deeply enough by how louis was still capable of having such a reaction in the state he was in, or to let it stop him from asking the question that came out of his mouth next, "d'ya wanna...-" his fingers dipped under the angle of louis' shirt collar, straightening it as he met his gaze, doing everything to disguise the baited breath that came with the second half of his question, "you wanna get out of here with me? come back to mine?" he was of course referring to his new york apartment, the least lived-in of his three US residences, but he realized almost at once how it sounded to be offering such a thing, the unintentional implications within it, and his-still bleary eyes went wide as he stammered over his explanation, "so we can talk s'more, I mean.. just somewhere private, is all. that's all i meant." he still didn't want to step back out of louis' embrace, not just because he felt so right there, but because he was afraid that what he'd just said would be enough to have louis not want him there in it anymore, anyway.

LOUIS: it was ironic of louis to finally let his walls down in front of harry after months and months of nothingness and acting like he was okay, as though he hadn't just released an album stating that all of his walls had already came down. there seemed to be so many layers to his grief when it came to the loss of their relationship, his self-reflection and the separations between what he wanted and what he thought he was allowed to have. so much of himself wanted to stay right there by harry's side, but there would always be a part of him that felt like he was going to overstay his welcome. it made louis nervous, but as he looked harry in the eyes he'd never felt more motivation to be selfish. because after all, the two of them had always been one person. one human being, and if louis was going to be selfish in the way that he truly wanted to be then the likeliness was that it would go in both of their favour. there was an embarrassment and fear in his actions once he allowed for his earlier anger to subside into sobs muffled in the smooth fabric of harry's clothing, alcohol causing both of his moods to be represented in extremes. he'd just spent months making such a mess out of everything, and this was the only way he knew how to let the disappointment show. it would only be the next morning whilst nursing a hangover and a desperate need for proof that any of this happened that louis would recognise how selfless harry had been. to allow the man who hurt him, to cry on him. to allow the man who left him, to cry on him. and in all honesty, louis knew that he would have been even more of a mess if he hadn't had harry's arms keeping him steady, their bodies pressed together as they fit together so perfectly that it made it even more disgusting that louis had ever walked away. lou's eyes, reddened from tears and slightly dilated from the after-effects of the drugs, widened so slightly when harry agreed to come to the second opening night, the wave of relief visible as it softened all of lou's features even more so. even just the simple gesture of straightening his collar made louis feel looked after and cared for. since the end of 2016 after suffering loss and ending his last relationship simultaneously, harry was the only person that louis had allowed to look after him during the 'on' stages of their on-off times together. it scared him how easily he could sink back into it, and how much he never realised he needed it. but he'd of never accepted it from anybody else, no chance. he was almost too wrapped up in this comfort, arms still looped around harry's body, but that didn't stop him from wincing when someone walked by a little too close. they probably didn't pay them any attention, and lou tried so hard not to resist, but it was impossible for him to not tilt his head away from the stranger's direction to make it a little harder for her to notice who they were, assuming that she even would know who the two of them were. he'd learned that it was always better to be safe than sorry. or at least that's what management told him. he looked back into harry's eyes as the younger man offered his own place to stay, mind going at a million miles an hour until harry clarified what he'd meant. this brought a laugh out of louis, chuckling through the tears that had mostly subsided by this point. he was so tempted, bringing one of his arms up to wipe the sleeve under his eyes, "fuck. haz, i.." he paused, wanting nothing more than to agree. they had so much more to talk about, and taking advantage of this vulnerability whilst it was so raw would probably be a really good thing for the two of them. "freddie, he's stayin' at me mate's, here in the city, so i really gotta.. yeah," he said, not wanting to straight up say no to harry even though he had to. "see that's why me tour stopped, why i'm in the states at the moment. me shit with bri actually made it to a hearing, it's not too far away now," he paused to sniff, feeling himself getting sidetracked. "but i have him whilst our lawyers talk because payments have stopped an'.. yeah," he paused. having freddie with him all the time had been the most wonderful thing that he wouldn't replace for anything, especially when he had friends around to look after the youngster when louis needed a night off. but now more than ever, he wished he could accept the offer with harry. "me flight back to la, it's dead early tomorrow, if i'm late..." he trailed off again. "but i do wanna talk, i promise, m'not.. not runnin' away. not this time."

HARRY: harry felt a wave of relief hit him when louis laughed at him, it was just so good to hear the sound of him laughing after how much it had hurt to hear and feel him sobbing into his chest only minutes before. and as he listened to louis explain why he couldn’t come home with him he realized it would’ve probably disappointed him had he not explained his reasoning for not being able to in a way that made his reluctance to decline so clear to harry. hell, he couldn’t help but notice that louis never actually said the words “no” or “I can’t”, and saved him the feeling of rejection he’d been fearing from the moment any kind of self-awareness followed the offer coming out of his currently-filterless mouth to begin with. he listened to louis fill him in just enough on where he currently stood in the situation with brianna and their son, freddie, and couldn’t help but be happy to hear that things were moving along to something as a official as a hearing, something that had been a far-off concept back when they were still talking before rather than the apparent current reality. plus harry’s face visibly lit up just a bit simply because he mentioned his son’s name and informed him that he had him in the city with him tonight, and why he had him- because it hadn’t only been louis that he’d missed so deeply during all these months they spent apart, he’d missed his favorite little monkey too. before everything had gotten so confusing to harry with louis distancing himself from him, he’d even felt like he’d developed a real bond with little freddie in a way he didn’t even have with some of the kids that he’d been made the actual godfather of. he couldn’t help but be disappointed to realize that he’d missed out on being part of his life over the past not-quite-year, especially when it had no doubt been subject to so many changes as a result of the custody battle at such a formative age for him. but he’d save processing that disappointment for later on when he was on his own. “my flight’s in the morning too.” he told him tenderly, tone full of understanding even if he didn’t flat out tell him that he understood, and still holding onto him by his shoulders, still so unwilling to move out of his embrace, like a part of him was scared it would be the last time. harry hated the feeling of not realizing that he was experiencing the ‘last time’ he’d ever have something during the moment, but only registering it in retrospect. he’d thought twice in his life before this that it could be the last time he and louis ever held each other in their arms, and wished so desperately looking back both times that he had held on just a little bit longer, hugged him just that much tighter. But mostly, he just found himself wishing that neither of them had ever let go. another thrill of relief ran through him when louis clarified that he did want to talk, and this refusal to do so to night not only didn’t mean that he didn’t want to, it was only being turned down because he had to. “maybe we can..- when we’re both back in LA, I mean, we can find time to talk. before your opening night two point oh.” he specified with a softness in his words, both that he didn’t want to go that long without talking, and that he wasn’t about to let that be the first time the see each other again after tonight. “it’s really good that you brought him along ya..- how’s he doing?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking, curious not only about the kid but about how having him on his own so much more of the time had been for louis.

LOUIS: it was in talking about freddie that louis realised just how much of his life had changed since he'd last spoken to harry. he'd managed to file an order regarding brianna's spending of the money that he gave her for freddie and had officials gain access to accounts, assessing where it was being spent and if it were cause for concern. now freddie had been living with him since the day after he'd had to cut his tour short and fly out to los angeles when paperwork came through - pausing payment to bri and granting louis the custody temporarily until the hearing could come around. it had been such a whirlwind, and a long journey to get to this point. after losing his own mother, he'd never put freddie in the position to stop seeing brianna. he'd never stop paying for the roof over her head or the food on her table, but he was never going to allow his son to become a money-maker for her. especially when she'd appeared to have no motivation in doing too much of the actual mothering. on top of those obvious changes, the fact that he'd even released an album and started a tour made him feel like he was miles away from where he was when he'd last seen harry. miles away in terms of his career and his fatherhood, but still right there in the same place when it came to his emotions. waiting for harry, almost. or rather waiting for himself to right all of his wrongs and get harry back. because louis hadn't even bothered trying to connect romantically with anyone during the time that the two of them had been apart, already so confident that nothing was worth bothering with. because how do you get better once you've had the best? the way that harry's face lit up at the mention of freddie instantly warmed louis' heart regardless, especially since he was aware of how much of an impression harry had left on his son. freddie had been regularly asking about harry monkey for so long after the pair's last interaction, it really hadn't helped louis bury the already-growing guilt that he held regarding his own disappearing act, but it had warmed his heart to know that freddie really did love harry almost as much, and nearly as immediately, as louis did. like father, like son. the understanding tone of harry's voice allowed the older man to release a breath that he didn't even know that he was holding, feeling nothing but relief that his inability to stay hadn't turned the conversation around on itself and also hadn't seemed to set them back any. because even in their drunken state, and even if he wouldn't remember every detail, louis still felt like they'd made immense progress. if he hadn't of just finished sobbing into harry's shoulder then maybe louis would've been embarrassed at how quickly he nodded in response to the offer of talking when back in los angeles. however, embarrassment seemed to be off the table for the evening. "yeah. fuck, yeah, we'll do that. everythin' will be a bit mad for me for a couple days, but i promise i'll text ya," he said with complete sincerity. he winced before asking "your number hasn't changed, right?" louis wasn't about to let an overlooked detail such as a changed number fuck everything up and get in the way of their talking this out. but yeah. he's doin' really good, considerin' how weird this must all be for him," he said, smile soft in a way that was only ever reserved for when he spoke about freddie. "it was a massive adjustment for both of us. especially now that he's old enough t'ask every question under the sun. but yeah. the little lad's keepin' me on me toes, that's for sure," he joked, not wanting to take his arms off of harry and step back but also knowing that he probably should. it was just so hard to put distance back between two people where it didn't belong, especially when louis knew it would take all of his will power to stop the conversation and hail himself a cab. he already knew that driving away would feel like a crime. "he misses you though. spent forever askin' about you. think in not talkin' with you, i broke his little heart as well," he admitted sadly, dropping his arms so they were around harry far more loosely.

HARRY: harry remembered their conversations from before everything had taken yet another turn and louis’ fear and reluctance had led to them once again drifting apart from one another. how he’d encouraged louis not to write himself off before he even gave himself a chance, how he’d told him he knew what kind of dad he was and not to be too afraid of things not working out in his favor to even try and have some faith that they might. how he’d done everything he could to give louis confidence in the thought that he could take it to a hearing and be granted custody of freddie if he sprung for the right lawyer and had the right support system, and of course, approached everything the right way. he was already looking forward to hearing more details about how everything had played out to this point, to know more of louis’ feelings on it and how he was doing on a more in depth level. and of course, he was looking forward to hopefully (should everything work out the way harry was already half-drunk putting in the work to manifest), being reunited with freddie sometime soon as well. “no, no, same number- numbers, on both phones. you have both, yeah?” harry asked, though he was pretty sure he had given louis both his personal number and his work phone number. harry loved seeing the light in louis’ eyes as he spoke about freddie, it made his heart swell so much with adoration that it felt like it could burst right out of his chest. “oh yeah, I bet! four year olds, they’re so inquisitive- reckon especially so, in such a confusing situation. m’glad he’s doin’ well though, especially all things considered. Imagine you’re doing all you can to make it a fun, exciting thing for him.” Harry spoke of Freddie obviously being in Louis’ care for a lot more of the time now, something that has been imbalanced about their dynamic as co-parents in the opposite way before, when it was first brought to the younger male’s attention how much he was being taken advantage of by the mother of his child. harry wasn’t expecting it, but his eyes immediately flooded with a fresh round of tears when louis told him that freddie missed him, and the way that he told him, “oh shit, what’ve you done?” he laughed at himself in realization when it happened, letting go of louis with only one hand, just so he could bring it up and dab at his eyes to try and stop himself from blubbering like a baby all over again. he drew in a slow, shaky gust of air through his nose, the sadness in his eyes contrasted so much by the smile on his face, “i’ve really fucking missed him too. nearly as bad as I’ve missed you.” he knew what a heavy thing that was to say in its own right, but he couldn’t help confessing it, how much freddie, someone who was so much a part of louis, meant to him.

LOUIS: even in the moments of silence louis still felt like he was in some kind of drunken daydream, blue eyes fixed on harry's features, re-learning them all as though he hadn't spent five years of his life seeing them on the daily. and if he'd always known just how much he'd missed harry, it was disgustingly obvious now. the question as to whether he had both numbers pulled louis out of his quick, split-second daydream as he reluctantly pulled his arms away from harry and reached to pull his phone out of his pocket. unlocking it with his thumb, he scrolled through his contacts until he found both numbers, nodding in satisfaction and then not being able to pass up his proud dad moment when he re-locked the phone. "here he is," he said with a grin, leaning closer into harry's space again and showing him the picture of freddie on his lockscreen. "yeah, he has a lotta questions. a lotta sass. but i wouldn't have it any other way," he said confidently. doing things the easy way would be boring. the way that harry had gotten emotional made louis get emotional in return, because anyone loving his son made him happy but harry's reaction to the knowledge that freddie had missed him was a whole new level of sweet. shoving his phone back into his pocket, he confidently brought a hand up to harry's shoulder again. "hey, well, the three of us - we were a team for a little while there, weren't we?" he said softly and bravely, remembering vividly the few times they had spent as the three of them and how fucking special it had been. he was scared to put into words just how much he wished they still were a team, or that they could be again. "and he's missed you nearly as much as i've missed you, haz," he added softly. it was going to be harder than ever to end the night now. all louis wanted was to go back to harry's place with him, convince the younger man to catch the same flight with him and freddie in the morning. he visualised harry helping him deal with a sleepy, grumpy, airport child and then louis using the younger man's shoulder as a pillow on the flight, just like he'd done so many times before in their lives. it scared him, really, how quickly his brain let him want these things. how much it could skip over in order to land back on their happiness as opposed to acknowledging that getting it right will take time, and mean working through so much unhappiness. this couldn't work like last time, a year earlier, where the two of them had reconnected without talking anything through. this time around, louis was determined to do this in the right order. an order that could work - that might last. all presuming that harry would still want all of that with him, but louis couldn't allow himself to believe any different now that the younger man was stood in front of him. and that alcohol-fuelled faith that they'd do it all right this time, and the knowledge that he'd need to be up and dealing with a child in an airport in six hours, made louis turn to look over his shoulder to see if there were any cabs. "i should probably.. yeah, probably shoot off," he said sadly, turning back to face harry. he just hoped that harry could see in his eyes how much he wished he could stay, or could've accepted the offer to go back to his place. "did you wanna share a cab, if you're headin' back, i'm sure it could swing by yours?" he asked, not wanting to leave the man until the last minute that he had to, but also not knowing what his plans would be for the rest of the night since they weren't going anywhere together.

HARRY: "aw! look at him! just keeps gettin' cuter, doesn't he?" harry gushed shamelessly when louis showed him his lockscreen, feeling the need to actually hold onto the sides of his phone in his hand for a moment just to get a proper look at the picture. "bit inevitable that he'd have the sass though, innit?" he had to gently tease as he let it go and let louis shove it back into his pocket, knowing it could only be a case of 'like father, like son'. he felt his breath catch in his throat just a little bit when louis referred to the three of them as a 'team', something he never expected to love hearing about in the context of himself, louis and another person. he realized in that moment that freddie was likely the only one he'd ever accept as the third member of what had always been the two-person dream team that was him and louis. "we were, definitely.." he breathed out, taking one tiny, reluctant step back, "...hopefully me and him'll get to hang out soon, yeah?" he asked, full of hope that louis had just instilled into him with all his softness and his bravery; he knew that it wasn't just liquid courage talking when he referred to them that way, he knew just by looking into his eyes when he said it that he meant every word. and it felt so fucking good to know with certainty that louis had mutually missed him, that he hadn't been all alone in his pining for his presence, the yearning to get to be close to him again. while it hadn't exactly been as deep and torturous as it had been during the nearly three years they'd spent apart before the summer of 2018 changed everything for them, the last nine months or so had still been particularly painful, especially when he allowed himself to think about how much of a waste it felt like, as any stretch of time they spent apart always did. the fact that they both had flights to catch tomorrow was sitting right there at the forefront of harry's mind, and he couldn't help but let his thoughts wander back to the countless amount of flights the two of them had taken together. how different it would be if they were to be seen doing something like that now, and with a little mini-louis in tow? it felt like something he shouldn't even dare to imagine, and yet it was suddenly all that he could think about. certainly not something he had the bravery to tell his ex boyfriend aloud. he felt a sharp pang in his chest when louis admitted that he probably needed to head out, but he immediately nodded in understanding despite that, just wanting louis to know that he wasn't about to hold the need to leave against him. "oh, i ah.." he thought about the offer to share a cab for a moment, mind trailing off into the high likelihood that if the two of them got into the same car, they weren't going to end up going back to two separate places the way that he knew they needed to, for freddie monkey's sake and for the sake of what was to come for them in the future. “was actually thinkin’ about heading back in, just for a little bit. see if it’s dead or what.” he said it like an admission and not the excuse he’d just come up with that it was, but really he just... knew it was safer all around, if they ended the night for them here on the corner of this random new york city sidewalk, than dared for anything else, even something as seemingly innocuous as a shared cab ride. “but i’ll wait here for one with ya.. text me when you get in, yeah? so i know you’re safe.” he said it before he could even think to bite his tongue and stop himself, knowing that he sounded like a full-on husband when he said it, but unable to take it back now.

LOUIS: louis' fatherly pride was written all over his face, clear for the younger man to see. it made him proud to be able to tell harry even the little that he had done regarding the custody, and to share the fact that he'd made progress on that front. especially considering how it'd been largely harry's encouragement that had gotten louis to a place where he felt it was something he could proceed with. a place where he felt like he was good enough to be a full-time father. "yeah. yeah, definitely, we'll make that happen," he promised in regards to harry and freddie getting to hang out. it made louis' heart happy to consider organising that, and knowing that in doing so he'd be making both harry and freddie exceptionally happy. that in itself was all the motivation that he needed to ensure that they got to a place where the three of them together would be an okay thing to do, again. louis wasn't sure if he wanted harry to accept the offer of sharing a cab or not. on the one hand, he wouldn't have offered if he didn't have an internal need to ensure that harry got home safely and in one piece. but additionally, even taking a step back to turn to look for a cab made louis feel a bit dizzy and he knew he needed to get to his bed and pass out as soon as possible. and if he ended up needing to ask the driver to pull over so that he could puke by the side of the road, then that was his business. when harry said he was gonna head back in, louis nodded in understanding and slight relief. "yeah, yeah, hopefully the party's still goin'. i'm hopin' they managed to have a good time without us two lives of the party there, anyway," he exaggerated, shrugging modestly. he very nearly stumbled on his way to the curb, arm outstretched as he hailed the cab down. only two went straight past him before one stopped, which might have been a record. the haste was likely spurred on by the paranoia of having harry stood behind him, and feeling his eyes on the back of his own head. when the car was there, lou turned around and stepped over to the younger man. arms wrapped around him once more, holding him tight and being unapologetic about it. "i'll message ya," he promised, letting go and taking a couple of steps backwards before forcing himself to take his eyes off of harry, turning and getting into the car.

HARRY: harry had such a look of bliss and relief on his face when louis seemed just as eager to orchestrate a reunion between him and little freddie as he was to have one, so glad that his ex didn't think it strange that he felt such a paternal-like bond with his son. he'd always been good with kids, so at only 26 he'd already been honored with several god-children from his close friends who were parents, but his bond with freddie was entirely different. it had been instant, so easy for harry to adore him from the moment they met; not to mention, seeing what a wonderful father he naturally was had only made him love louis even more than he'd thought possible. he had so much faith that everything with the custody hearing would work out in his favor, as he had even before it'd become a reality; and now, he was instilled with a new faith that he'd get to be around to celebrate that victory with him. "if it's shit i'll just head home m'self, you know me." harry admitted with a soft, fond grin as he let himself look louis over one more time, committing the moment to memory. he hadn't been expecting him to hug him again before he left, the final, short-lived but warm, close embrace actually catching him off guard, pulling a soft, hardly audible gasp of surprise out of him. but as it sunk in just how much it meant to him that louis hadn't thought twice before doing it despite his visible nervousness at the prospect of being seen with him the entire time they'd been stood there together, he hugged him back just as tight, even tighter, if that was possible, before finally letting him go, confident that it was only for the time being. "i'll see you soon." he didn't even really mind that it felt like he was saying it both to louis and himself, giving a small wave as a final goodbye he watched him get into the cab,

#✗ — TRAFFIC LIGHT PARTY ⸢HARRY STYLES⸥

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romioneflufffest · 5 years

Text

Trigger Point

Title: Trigger Point Creator: unablearethelovedtodie Prompt: N/A Description: When Ron and Hermione both fall sick, perhaps a non-magical remedy is required to heal them. Rating: T Warnings: N/A

“It looks like frogspawn”.

“It’s very effective. My parents used it all the time”.

Ron gazed dubiously through the green glass. “A Muggle remedy? It is very unlike Mum to allow something like this. Are you sure she said it was ok?“

Hermione wrapped both arms around her body and rolled her head around on her neck. Every centimetre of movement produced a minute click and she resisted the urge to groan. Her shoulders felt hunched and sore, her glands pulsed in her throat.

“I think she just thought… after everything we had been through”. He glanced up at her quickly and then back to the jar. “Something simple and magic free might help. Nothing else is really working.”

*************************

This was Day 6 of confinement. It was now some weeks after the Battle of Hogwarts and July had descended with unflinching heat. It had felt like a blessing at first. The world had been so cold and dark for so long. The summer sun made the winter seem very far away. The mature gardens of the Burrow were full of life, unapologetic colour wherever the eye fell. Every tree was heavy laden with blossom, each flower head busy with life.

Everyone, in their own way, was finding out who they were after the War. Ginny and Harry were taking a lot of walks together, returning to the Burrow looking more hopeful each time, like one worry line had been ironed free from each of their faces. Ron had watched them with gentle envy. That first kiss between him and Hermione hung, unspoken.

He had wanted to bring it up every day but the moment was never right. Hermione had spent much of the first few weeks in Ginny’s room, emerging for meals and occasionally venturing outside for brief periods. He loitered in odd places hoping he might conjure up a meeting; the stairs, the back porch. One time he sat up on the sofa in the living room until after midnight, hoping she would sense he was there and come down. She had always been good at that at school; so many times she had known just what he was thinking.

But she didn’t come and Ron became more and more convinced that perhaps she considered it a mistake. Maybe she was embarrassed and worried he would bring it up. Hermione wasn’t deliberately cruel- she wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings. Perhaps she was hoping that he would read her mind and know how she felt.

The morning after his sofa vigil, Ron awoke, his head full and throat raw. He had tried to ignore it, helping his mum degnome the garden, peeling a seemingly endless supply of potatoes, albeit with greater ease now he could use magic. But it grew worse, the banging in his head and the sweating down his back. His joints ached, eyelids heavy, and he had to conclude he was sick. His mother, relishing the opportunity to take care of someone who couldn’t put up much of a fight, dropped straight into action. Mrs Weasley banished him to his room, moving Harry elsewhere, and there he stayed, a captive audience to the increasingly nasty remedies she subjected him to. She boiled up a thin blueish soup that he swallowed with his nose pinched shut. She made him sit in the bath up to his neck in violently pink water that was popping round the edges.

Five days in, she applied a strange smelling poultice type object to the back of his neck, to be held there for exactly 36 minutes.

On minute 19, Ron muttered, "Perhaps that’s enough of this one Mum. I’m starting to smell a bit…. froggy”.

“Nonsense”, Mrs Weasley replied, stopping folding the laundry to press it more firmly onto his neck to prevent him from lifting his head from where it rested on the pillow. “36 minutes precisely. That’s what the book says.”

Ron sighed and tried not to feel so amphibian.

And then, casually. “Hermione lasted the full 36 minutes and I’m sure she’s looking a good bit better today”.

Ron shot up onto his knees, poultice sliding off onto the bed. “Hermione’s sick too?”

“Oh Ron!" His mother rushed over and lifted the knitted package, cradling it her hand. "How are you supposed to get better if you won’t listen to me dear! 36 minutes precisely….”

Ron felt impatience rising. “Mum, what about Hermione?”

His mother seemed to admit defeat, shoulders sagging a little. “Yes, yes, Hermione came down with this the day after you did. Cough, blocked nose, sore limbs. Can’t seem to shift hers either. It’s strange because no one else in the house is even remotely…" She cast him a suspicious glance and trailed off.

Ron felt shifty yet he knew he had no reason to. Hermione had been practically invisible to him since they returned to the Burrow. She had made every effort to avoid being anywhere near him; surely that was obvious to everyone. There was no… contact that could have transmitted this.

He was still thinking about it the next day when his mother barged into his room and announced they were all going out for the day. He raised his head hopefully but she had taken one look at him and said, "Another day in bed and you’ll be feeling much better dear”. He flopped back down in disgust, knowing that she was right; his body felt like it was slowly recovering but wasn’t quite there yet. He lay fitfully in bed, flicking through old Chudley Cannons annuals. This was the first day he had begun to feel more like himself and he was restless and frustrated with his tender body and snarly cough.

He took a shower, noticing the bath was wet as he turned on the taps. Was Hermione still in the house or had she gone out with them? The urge to go look was overwhelming but he stopped himself.

Climbing back onto his bed, fresh pyjamas and flush with heat, he rubbed his neck absently with both hands. Should he check on her? No. Hadn’t she made it clear, pointedly so, that she didn’t want to see him? He wasn’t going to make a fool of himself by going to her. If she wanted to see him, couldn’t she come here? Ron lay down on the bed with a crackly exhale. But what if she was sicker than him? Maybe she couldn’t get out of bed? The decent, gentlemanly thing to do would be to check.

He dropped on foot to the floor and abruptly the door opened with a squeak and there she was. He took in her dark blue satin pyjamas, loose on her petite frame, her dark crazy hair standing upright in every direction, like hundreds of little question marks all over her head. Her eyes looked heavy, little upturned nose red. She looked like he felt.

“Are you awake?” It was a superfluous thing to say but Hermione didn’t know how else to break the silence. She had been standing, palm against the door, for a long time, listening to his chesty breaths, trying not to make too many of her own. She had battled with herself for weeks, knowing things had to be said, wanting them said really but being quite afraid to either hear them or say them. It wasn’t like her to lack courage. She tackled everything in life head on, despite whatever fear she might be feeling, despite the mammoth task that might await her. But Ron was different. Scary stuff likes basilisks threatened her outer shell, her human body. Ron could look at her with half a glance and touch the very heart of her. And that burned more keenly than any magical thing.

“I brought something I thought might help”, she said, raising a green glass jar with a metal lid. “I asked Harry to get it for me. And I showed it to your Mum too”.

She walked tentatively into the room, proffering the little gift shyly.

*********************************

Ron unscrewed the lid and inhaled deeply. The heady scent of eucalyptus and menthol wafted up and for a second his head felt marginally clearer.

“Do we… eat it?” He looked doubtful.

Hermione laughed, though it sounded hoarse and low, like it had gotten stuck in her chest half way up, took the jar from him and sat down onto the bed. “No Ron, you rub it into your skin. It helps to warm your chest and back and clear your sinuses. I thought we could do each other’s backs.“ She paused. "And our own chests. Obviously”.

Ron seemed preoccupied with poking at the gloop in the jar and didn’t respond. “You’ll need to…” He glanced up and Hermione gestured vaguely at his t shirt. He felt alarm well up in his stomach and his eyes widen slightly. She wanted him to remove his top. He was going to be half naked in front of her, in his bed. To be fair, Hermione looked more than a little abashed by the scenario, her cheeks pinkened as she rolled the little glass jar in her hands and pretended the read the instructions printed on it.

Why did he have to go first? Merlin, he had wanted the opportunity to talk to her about their kiss. That was the wish he had sent out into the karmic ether. He DID NOT ask for this. THIS was seven or eight steps ahead of what he had been planning.

The heat of his ears and cheeks brought him back from his thought spiral and made him acutely aware he hadn’t said anything for a really long time. You can do this Weasley. It’s only Hermione. Without allowing another thought to rise up in his head, he roughly pulled the green material over his head and threw it behind him onto the floor. He stared resolutely at a point on her pyjama top, somewhere near her navel.

Hermione raised her head slowly and he could have sworn he saw her abdominals pull in slightly, as if she had taken a big breath. She gathered her hair at the nape of her neck, still damp from the bath, and tossed it on top of her head, held with elastic.

“If you turn round. So I can do your back”. He could hardly hear her at all and he wasn’t sure if that was because she was speaking so quietly or if the buzzing in his ears was drowning her out. It was a bit awkward, changing position, his bed being so small and Hermione taking up half of it. He dropped his feet to the floor and she leaned back as far as she could, as if desperate not to make contact with him at all which he adjusted. He dropped back down onto the bed, facing away from her this time and pulled one leg half underneath him, the other hanging over the side of the bed. He felt the bed depress and shift as she shuffled herself closer. One leg draped over the side of the bed, a respectable distance from his.

There was a long pause. Ron wasn’t sure what to do in the silence so he just sat, feeling more and more foolish. Eventually, he heard Hermione unscrew the jar, metal on glass, and dip her fingers into the mixture.

“This might be a bit cold”, she whispered, “I’ll try and warm it up a bit”. Her hands smacked together lightly as she rubbed palm to palm. The menthol was becoming stronger and Ron’s head was starting to feel a bit light. Just get over with already, why couldn’t she? If he had to sit here any longer, half dressed, in broad daylight..

Suddenly he felt the cool pressure of two little hands press lightly on his shoulder blades. His body gave an involuntary shiver and the skin that had seemed sweat clogged now felt icy, each tiny arrector pili muscle switching on. Goosebumps, he thought absently. In July. What was she doing to him?

Ron had always been slightly shy when it came to revealing his body. He wasn’t like Cormac McLeggan who took any and every opportunity to parade around in tight t shirts and vests, showing off his brawny arms. There wasn’t much brawn to Ron. His body had grown long and lanky as he aged. It sometimes seemed to take him by surprise when he tripped over his big feet or hit his head on a door frame. Like he didn’t remember he took up quite this much space.

But Hermione had committed his frame to memory and it was all good. She knew his knobbly wrist bones and the curve of his ear lobe and the length of his neck. His pale gingery eyelashes that swept against his cheek as he slept. Her deep, strong feelings for him meant that all those things were significant. But how do you tell your best friend that? How do you tell them that you are grateful for their bravery, their kindness, for the fact that they could have had anyone as a friend and they chose you? How do you say ‘Thanks for all that but I want more?' That all of that isn’t enough.

Except… He hadn’t made any effort to bridge the gap between them since they arrived here. She had thought if she stayed in Ginny’s room or walked in the orchard, nearly always alone, that he would use the time when it could be just the two of them. Take the initiative. She had made the first move hadn’t she? Ron was a master of chess. Surely he knew it was his turn to move?

Unless he didn’t want to move. That was a depressing thought. But was it because he didn’t want her or because he was shy? A wild part of Hermione wanted to slide round onto his lap. Force their bodies closer together than ever before. Take his sweet face in her hands and kiss every breath out of both of their bodies. His skin, rubbing against her skin as they clawed to be closer. Her hair falling round them as he pulled her down onto the bed on top of him. It would negate the need for all this talking. She could just show him. Something hot licked through her.

“Rhomboid major”, she said suddenly, as if it has entered her mouth without going through her brain first.

Ron half turned to look at her. “Are you hexing me from behind?”

She felt a giggle rumble in her chest and relaxed slightly. “If I were hexing you Ronald Weasley, you would know about it. No, these”, she cupped her hands lightly on his back, “Are your rhomboid major muscles.”

She heard Ron click his tongue. “How or why would you ever need to know that?”

This was safe territory, she thought happily. Books and cleverness. Focusing on facts would mean she wasn’t focusing on… bare…skin.

“It’s important to know the musculature of the human body if you are performing curses on it”, she replied, her voice becoming more authoritarian. “For example, Petrificus Totalus is a paralyser and it’s good practice to know what is going on in the body when you perform it”.

“Dunno how you do it Hermione. Honestly your brain must be the size….” his sentence trailed off to a satisfied slur as the pressure on his shoulder blades melted inwards and down his back, tracing a soft line down each side of his spine. And then up again, unhurried and deliberate, cresting over the tops of his shoulders.

“Trapezius… deltoid…”.The paste slowed her motions, snagging her skin over his. It was almost unbearable. Over his lats (“Lattissimus dorsi…”) which felt firm and striated under the pressure. How different his body was now, no longer soft in places. Every muscle long and contracted with purpose. He hadn’t really thought about it until now; his body has just done whatever he had told it to, reacted to whatever he had given it. But now, under her gaze, nothing to distract them, nowhere to hide, he had became acutely aware of his own physicality.

Of course he had given serious consideration to Hermione’s physicality. Nights spent together in the common room, watching her riotous curls shine in the firelight. They looked hard and wiry and yet he knew that when they brushed against your arm as she pushed her nose ever closer to her book, that really they were soft and light, ticklish. The length of her legs, wrapped in thick wool under her skirt and the swell of her thigh as she crossed them. Reaching over him in the tent to light a lamp and that sallow stretch of lean stomach as her shirt fell away. The tiny little hairs on the back of her fingers as her hand lay inches from his face in Grimmauld Place, that he had lightly stroked while she slept. Every dream she had ever invaded when he knew he should be thinking of another, that he had woke from feeling heavy, choked and overwhelmed with lust.

Contact was lost briefly and Ron almost groaned at its absence. He needed to give himself a good talking to if he was going to survive this. He could hear Hermione rubbing her palms together again and then her thumb pads pressed at the base of his spinal column. Firmly she pushed up either side, his skin wrinkling and spreading as she moved upwards. When she reached the base of his skull, she returned to the bottom and started again. Ron wasn’t sure he’d felt anything quite as good as this before. Unwittingly, he dropped his head, feeling his middle back stretch and the next time she reached the top, her fingers spread into his hair. She curled and pulled them back, her nails trailing deliciously on his scalp. Ron felt his tongue grow heavy in his mouth, his eyes half close. His whole body hummed in a happy, warm way.

On her fourth pass, he muttered, “It feels really bumpy there”. The upward pressure froze and she rubbed back on forward on the area.“Here?”

“Blimey… yes. What is that?”

“The muscle fibres stick together with tension. It’s a trigger point, like a knot.”

Ron flopped his head left and right on his neck as she pushed on the knot with her thumb, trying not to apply fingernails. “What muscle is that?”

There was a strange pause behind him. “It…uh. It keeps your back straight. So you don’t get all hunched over." Silence. Vigorous working at the knot.

Ron smirked. Had he, Ron Weasley, found something that the brightest witch of our age didn’t know? "But what’s it called?” he persisted, a teasing note in his voice.

“Erector spinae”, she stated loudly, attempting to drown out the blood rushing past her ears. Instantly Ron knew why there had been a pause. Unwittingly, he glanced down at his lap and then, just as quickly, straightened up. Had she seen him doing that? Merlin, why hadn’t he kept his big mouth shut? It was bad enough that all this skin on skin contact was making him slightly lightheaded. But then she’d gone and said 'erector’. He was done for. This clever, beautiful witch was going to be the death of him and she was just carrying on, like nothing had happened. Like she hadn’t said it.

I said 'erector’. Out loud. While Ron is half naked. While we are in in his bed. And was it her imagination or had he looked down at his crotch when she said it? If Hermione had had it within her means to curse herself into a big hole in the ground right there and then she would have. Heat rushed up her neck and flooded her cheeks. Her hands worked mechanically over his back and she took a shaky breath. Steady Granger. You aren’t some daft girl that giggles every time someone says a faintly dirty word. If he can carry on like nothing had happened then so can you. But the damage was done. The smear of the ointment made a satiny sheen on his skin whose freckles had got darker in the sun. Hermione wondered what it would be like to spend the whole day undressed with Ron, tracing lines between the freckles,, following where they lead, finding new ones… Oh good grief.

“I think that’s you all done!” she said brightly, pushing herself off the bed with force. Ron jerked with surprise and turned to face her.

“Oh, right." He sat looking at her, twiddling the little glass jar in her hands. "Er… well ok… I guess it’s your turn?”

Hermione shook her head and took a step backwards. She’d be damned if she was going to let him run his hands all over her. “I’m fine, actually. Feeling much better. I don’t think I really need…" Unfortunately her treacherous body had taken that moment to let out a great hacking cough. It swooped up her throat and out of her mouth before she knew it was coming and bent her in half as she was wracked with spasms. Ron watched her, one eyebrow raised.

It could only have been a minute but it felt like ten before she finally stopped with a shiver. Ron’s mouth lifted at one corner. "Get on the bed”.

Knowing she was beat, Hermione wiped her mouth with the back of one hand and crawled gingerly onto the bed. Her back ached after her coughing fit and actually having someone rub it seemed like quite a nice prospect. She stretched her legs out towards the bottom of the bed and felt Ron scootch in behind her, back to the wall. Two long legs arranged themselves, one down each side of hers, and she felt the pressure of his inside thighs against her outer ones. The sensation sent heat cascading down through her stomach and somewhere in her low belly there was a pleasurable contraction. She bit her lip and allowed herself to revel in the feeling for a few seconds.

Ron’s voice brought her back. “Can’t do it through your jammies”. He sounded embarrassed and gave a little cough at the end that may, or may not, have been real.

Hermione’s fingers felt clumsy as she worked at the buttons on her pyjama top. Of course Ron had seen parts of her body before. Sleeping three in a tent, there was always a danger someone would walk in as she changed her top or rouse her from sleep to find her pyjama bottoms had crept down low on her hips. At first it had been embarrassing but quickly they had all just got on with it. She rather thought they had started treating her like one of the lads; her bare back promoting the same reaction as either of theres. In the middle of war it didn’t matter, it was preferable. But now, here, with life and the opportunity to live it reaching out in front of her, Hermione didn’t want Ron to think of her the same way as he thought of Harry. She wanted… something else entirely.

Breathing slowly through her nose, Hermione stopped unbuttoning half way down. With a slight twitch of her shoulders the satin fabric slipped off and lazily slid down her arms, bunching at the elbows and she unclipped her bra. She was gratified to hear a sort of strangled sound from behind her.

Ron felt like he hadn’t taken a breath for a solid minute. The gold summer light shone through the warped window pane, refracting over her back. Downy hair near the base of her spine, made blonde by sun, caught his eye. He only just stopped himself from running a knuckle over them. Every filthy teenaged fantasy he had ever had somehow wasn’t quite as good as this. He had envisioned the first time he would see her naked, when she intentionally showed herself to him. He had always considered himself to have quite the imagination, there really was no stone unturned when he was alone in the dark and thinking about Hermione. But this. And Merlin, this was only her back! They hadn’t even got to the good stuff yet.

Ron gave himself an internal shake. You’ve been staring at her so long, you’ve made it weird. Do something!

Hurriedly, he scooped out some of the paste and, without thinking, smeared it down Hermione’s back. She let out a yelp.

“It’s cold!” She pulled her knees up to her chest and shivered, a line of goose bumps appearing down the back of each arm, her skin pulling taut against her ribs.

“Sorry… let me.. sort it…” He dropped the jar onto the bed and flexed his hands a inch away from her skin. He would start with her shoulders, he decided. Nice and safe up there.

Ron lifted the paste with a thumb and rubbed it into his palms. Taking a breath, he pressed the heel of his hands onto her shoulders, fingers curling over the top and began working his thumbs into muscle.

Almost instantaneously, Hermione’s knees dropped to either side and she let out a soft almost imperceptible groan. Ron felt his mouth drop open slightly. Hermione groaned at him all time. Sometimes odd things would happen when he tried to perform spells and she would groan at him before showing him the right way. Or if he said something inappropriate at a delicate moment, she would groan and shake her head. If he really pissed her off she might groan ‘Ron!’ before elbowing him or whacking him upside the head with her book. But this groan wasn’t anything like that. This sounded like pleasure. It might even be classified as…a moan. Bloody hell, if he was making her moan… Ron’s ears were scalding now, he sat up straighter and tried to focus on the little knots at the base of Hermione’s neck.

Just like he had, she allowed her head to drop and her breathing evened out. The scent of eucalyptus was intoxicating and seemed to be curling into her nose and chest and opening everything out. She couldn’t remember the last time she had taken a full breath, chest expanding the way it should, actually smelling anything. But the warmth of Ron’s fingers and hell, of Ron himself, radiating through her seemed like the perfect balm to her weary body.

“Is that ok?” Ron’s voice was barely a whisper.

“It’s amazing”, Hermione replied simply and he felt pleased with himself. He fanned his fingers wide and moved them up and down her ribcage, putting extra pressure on his thumbs next to her spine, just like she had done. She had made him feel so good and he wanted her to feel the same. He wanted to do anything that would make her groan like that again, however uncomfortable the thought of it was making his lower half. He carried on, rubbing and massaging, surreptitiously avoiding her erector spinae should that happen to come up again. She was so soft and supple under his hands. She felt exactly the way she was meant to.

Ron didn’t know how long he had been kneading her back when he noticed she was developing goosebumps again.

“Are you cold?” he asked, voice thick and disused.

“A little I guess”.

His fingers ceased and he clipped the thin straps of pale pink lace back together. He lifted the collar of the pyjama shirt, sliding it up over her back and arranging it over her shoulders as she buttoned it. Hesitantly, he smoothed the fabric down her arms, one hand over each sleeve. Without missing a beat, Hermione lay back against his chest, her little body caged between his long legs.

“Is this ok?" Barely a whisper and Ron could feel her holding herself rigid. Merlin what a thing to ask him.

"Yes. Course it is”. Her body melted further back onto his and likewise he leant back against the wall to support them both. His knees drew up at right angles releasing the fizz of poor blood flow after being straight for so long. Emboldened by the fact that she had closed the gap between them, Ron allowed his hands to fold lightly over hers in her lap.

A long moment passed until Hermione spoke again. “I wanted to thank you”.

That surprised him. “What for?”

“Everything really. Having my back. Putting up with me all these years. Being my best friend.”

Ron snorted. “Yeah you’re no picnic.”

Hermione was stung, her eyes prickling sharply. “I know”, she murmured with a sniff. “And you have tolerated me…”

Ron was abruptly aware he had said the wrong thing, that she had taken it wrong. How could she even think that? He sat up, bringing her body with his. Reaching up, he pulled the elastic from her hair in one flick of his wrist and her beautiful brunette waves spilled down over her shoulders. He buried his face in them, inhaling the strong clean smell of her shampoo.

“You are not someone I have ever tolerated”, he mumbled into her hair, both hands now enveloping hers. She sat still. “I tolerate a lot of things. My Aunt Muriel. The ghoul in the attic. My mum cutting my hair. Not you. Never you”.

Hermione hadn’t realised her eyes were closed until this point. The low hum of his voice through her hair was sending cool trembles up her neck and round her ears. His hands felt rough against the backs of hers and he was rubbing slow circles on her palms with his callused thumbs.

Timidly, she turned her head towards him and Ron gathered her hair back from her face with his left hand. His breath warmed her cheek and her hair tickled his and, in exactly the same moment, both of them thought This. Is. It.

Hermione tilted her head ever so slightly upward and for a second, Ron thought to himself that she would never look any better than she did right now and then he thought of nothing else as he brought his mouth to meet hers.

For Hermione it was like melting, two halves into one. She turned her body round for better access as their lips melded together until she was on her knees in front of him, hands in his hair. The flick of his tongue against hers, one long arm pulling her upright on her knees, her head above his, one big hand cradling her jaw line. She allowed one hand to drop down to his chest, her thumb drawing a electric line down his exposed throat, and pressed it there feeling his heartbeat hammering through. She couldn’t believe how moreish this was. When would it ever be enough?

For Ron it was like a million tiny fireworks going off at once. He cupped her face in his hands as she turned towards him. She tasted of peppermint and so much sweetness and he wanted to delve into her, memorizing her from the outside in. Her teeth scraped along his bottom lip and tugged it ever so slightly. The sensation was otherworldly. He couldn’t find enough places to put his hands, he wanted to touch her everywhere- the small of her back, the ridge of her collarbone, the smooth firmness of her belly. There just wasn’t enough time to do all that and kiss her deeply, the way he wanted to.

When they pulled apart, chests heaving for breath, Hermione’s dark eyes met Ron’s blue ones.

“I think I’m feeling better now”, she whispered.

“Yeah”, he whispered back, “Me too”.

#Romione #Ron and Hermione #Romione Fluff Fest #romioneflufffest #Fic #submission

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tarmairons · 5 years

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re: that last hp ask i got

i know i said i wouldn’t be cross-posting my bellamort/dark au/riddle fam headcanons from twitter but i’ve decided to post a lengthy updated masterpost here after all so ENJOY bon apetit

1. see the thing is that 90% of my hcs can’t be described with words bc they’re just.. feelings.. aesthetics.. vibes.. vague scenarios that make me feel some sort of way… the dark au has a certain Feel and i just stick a bunch of domestic concepts in there and shake it all up and that’s it shshsh

2. disclaimer: im like 75% sure my self indulgent ramblings won’t make sense so sorry about that

3. i was fully serious that one time i said on twitter that voldemort’s no.1 priority after taking over the wizarding world was doing sth about his snace (snake face) so yeah. first things first he’s not as fugly in the dark au. as mentioned previously he just looks like mr. ralph and probably wears ornate haute couture power suits

4. the public doesn’t actually know who the augurey is for YEARS… they know whoever it is is voldemort’s second in command and sure there’s rumors that he has an heir but nobody knows it’s delphi. this way she doesn’t have to be reclusive and hide away, she just lives her life, studies and trains, masters the art of dark magic, hangs around town etc, and no one suspects anything bc who would think this tiny super friendly innocent looking girl is the dark lord’s kid — her identity isn’t revealed until she’s deemed Ready to publicly take up her position. and when she is revealed it’s a Big Moment bc she’s a drama queen and lives for attention

5. delphi is taller than bellatrix

6. speaking of bellatrix. she’s presumed dead after the battle of hogwarts which turns out to be a cool bonus for the dark side. any leftover resistance? she’ll take care of that and they’ll never see her coming. tbh this seems a lot cooler in my head bc movie bellatrix would not be stealthy enough to stay hidden for years she would probs trip over something and accidentally commit arson within a few days. but yeah sneaky assassin sounds sexy. plus to be super honest i imagine bella is a teensy bit more collected than in the films... no shade at helena y’all know i would die for her but there are in fact things i would change about her bella. so yeah for a while the only people who know she’s alive aside from her immediate family are probs rod and the malfoys

7. hm so. the malfoys…. much to think about. narcissa did lie to voldemort’s face during the battle so logically he should have killed her the moment he realized she knew harry was alive all along. but this is a soft dark au so let’s pretend bellatrix was like hey dude don’t kill my sister maybe and voldemort was like k. i mean no harm done, harry potter is properly dead in this universe after all

8. but seriously tho. the only reason voldemort didn’t yeet narcissa into a wall was for bella’s sake. he’s nice like that, he probably promised her at one point that he wouldn’t violently murder her family. peak romance

9. delphi is surprisingly close with both her parents although with voldemort it’s more of a mentor-student relationship than a parent-child one bc he’s Like That. growing up it was always bella who insisted they treat delphi more like a child and less like a weapon and voldemort wasn’t always happy about that bc he’s emotionally constipated and also never had a childhood. also he’s, like, evil. so yes, reminding voldemort that delphi was her daughter too sometimes got bella in trouble bc we all know of voldemort’s superiority issues. but no bella didn’t stop insisting that delphi deserved an actual childhood and in the end they compromised like functional adults and delphi turned out pretty well for someone raised by 2 of the most terrifying people alive

10. but yeah that’s not to say voldemort and kid delphi never had soft moments. they did. he even picked her up every once in a while. everyone was surprised, bella most of all. she probably cried in the bathroom later bc the softness overwhelmed her. i’m not sure if i mean that in a sarcastic shitpost kind of way or if she was really moved to tears. y’all decide for yourselves

11. delphi looks very very much like bella but she has tom riddley eyes.. so dark they’re nearly black. and soulless. maybe they even flash red when she’s enraged. and she has very aristocratic very controlled tom riddley mannerisms. it’s not until you piss her off and she goes off the rails that the bella side of her personality kicks in

12. delphi gets along really well with the malfoys (except lucius. she thinks he’s pathetic and likes to tease him. in a friendly way but it’s still harsh. she gets that from her mom) esp scorp. scorp thinks this makes him cool at school bc he gets to fist bump the augurey and not get murdered for it

13. speaking of hogwarts. umbridge is scared shitless of delphi and it’s always a school-wide spectacle when the augurey drops by unexpectedly on official business and umbridge starts stuttering and quivering. scorp sometimes makes a point to approach umbridge and delphi when they’re talking and act all chummy-chummy with his cousin just to make himself look powerful and Cool in front of umbridge and the other students

14. i still don’t know whether voldemort would call delphi ‘delphini’ or just ‘delphi’… i imagine he’s a strict stick-up-his-ass kinda father but who knows. he does call bellatrix ‘bella’ but that’s different i guess

15. but THEN AGAIN he does have a gigantic soft spot for delphi too. maybe he slips up every so often and calls her delphi. i’m literally making this shit up as i go along i’m just smashing my mf keyboard and occasionally glancing at my messy hcs notebook. I TOLD YALL i don’t have solid hcs i just have VIBES and AESTHETICS. the only way you’ll get specific hcs out of me is if you ask very specific questions

16. weirdest brotp is delphi and rodolphus. nobody knows where that came from but they get along so well and it confuses everybody

17. we been knew that bella is batshit crazy and criminally insane or whatever but against all odds she is a surprisingly good mother. she’s always been soft for family (narcissa etc) so it makes sense that she would legit die for delphi. they have this super casual bantery relationship YALL GET ME bella is so proud of delphi she’s literally that “my little baby off to destroy people” meme!!! honestly mother-daughter relationships are my goddamn weakness i would die for the two of them

18. delphi has a gf (underdeveloped oc time!) who, for the longest time, doesn’t know who she is dating bc delphi is obviously not allowed to say. she finds out the truth eventually and she is properly freaked out for a very very long time. and since all of these hcs are stupidly soft we’re just gonna keep making them softer: the gf is terrified of delphi’s parents at first (obvs) but they’re both extremely fond of her (well, bella is, voldemort probs doesn’t care all that much about who delphi is dating so long as she’s not of subpar blood status or secretly spying for the opposition ya know. as long as delphi trusts her he does too)

19. no but really voldemort trusts delphi and bella implicitly. with delphi it’s bc he raised her and he trusts her to be loyal bc she knows no other way, she was meant to be an extension of his power etc. but with bella it’s something he learns over time, to trust her judgement bc despite her many many flaws she’s very perceptive and usually right

20. voldemort probably makes more horcruxes. still haven’t decided how this ties in with the fact that he’s now safely immortal again and neither delphi nor bella are. who knows maybe they all do the do and split their souls. much to think about. feel free to send ur thots and ideas my way

21. ya know im basic and always on my bellamort bs and therefore: as the years go by voldemort warms up to bella. not that he wasn’t already extremely fond of her before but he kicks it up a notch. i mean, he’s already taken over the world so it’s high time to start experimenting with other wilder things like Feelings. 80/90 years old isn’t too late to experience Love or whatever. might as well wake up one day and realize you’re completely and utterly in love with the woman you’ve spent the last 50+ years with whew. LIKE to be fair bella knows him better than anyone — they understand each other, they’re familiar with each other’s likes, dislikes, mannerisms, nervous tics etc etc. let’s be real it freaked voldemort out at first, being vulnerable to any degree (not that he let it show) but it just became so easy to tell her things that it became a natural thing to do. and obvs he trusts her to keep everything between them and never judge him for anything so that’s sweet

22. y’all keep asking me for domestic hcs but what can i possibly say?? imagine literally any domestic scenario ever and just think bellamort and i’ve probably imagined that same scenario before. except its sexier bc the world is dark and evil and they live in a dark gloomy super fancy manor. so we have these 2 goths right but they’re in love but in that casual familiar way YALL GET ME and sometimes they even drink coffee together in the mornings or like. do that thing where Person A returns from work late at night and its dark and raining and Person B is already home just chilling and they don’t even have to talk they just go about their nighttime routine but it’s soft and familiar and COMFORTABLE. i clearly dont have enough softness in my life i just. love domestic scenarios bye

23. i forgot everything else i wanted to write bc i got distracted by domesticity. im also thinking about how voldemort absolutely despises the thought of any pda but he’ll take bella by the wrist in public every so often when he wants to get her attention, or like. put his hand on her back. small things but oh so soft

24. hhhh okay i have a LOT to say about the power fam’s fashion choices but it’s hard to explain without pictures. i have a wholeass ppt presentation but i’m not about to upload 20+ slides to tumblr. but i seriously was not kidding when i said voldemort wears fancy suits and yes i have references. meanwhile delphi is a fan of feathers but mostly goes with lowkey military-style outfits.. she’s practical yet ostentatious. bella sticks to a conservative yet undeniably sexy selection of evil looking dresses.. i should make all of these into pinterest boards hmm

25. controversial opinion but i think delphi knows she and voldemort are half bloods. so does bella but that’s a whole other story, she been knew. anyhow yeah delphi was told the truth bc it was better for her to find out from the source rather than hear rumors from the opposition and begin to distrust the foundations of voldemort’s whole empire and voldemort himself

26. i used to absolutely hate fics where bella would eventually call voldemort by his name but now im like FUCK THAT we don’t do guilty pleasures anymore we just stan ridiculous things and that’s that. one day voldemort had a Thought (shocking, i know) and was like. Hm so we have a wholeass child and we’re basically married maybe bella shouldn’t have to call me My Lord for the rest of her life. BUT ONLY IN PRIVATE. THATS BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM it’s nobody’s business. It Is Nobody’s Business

27. speaking of marriage. bella and rod got divorced a few years after the battle. it was just a formality tho let’s be real. they remained very close friends tho!!!!!!!! i think that’s an unpopular opinion among bellamort stans but i genuinely believe bella and rod were always close the way best friends or family are ya know. rod really loves bella but as long as she’s happy he’s happy even if it means her fucking the dark lord on the reg or whatever

28. going back to #6 — when the public finally finds out that bella’s alive they obviously start to wonder about her and voldemort and connect the dots re: delphi etc but nobody ever gets any concrete answers bc there’s never any public pda.. any sort of affection is limited to when it’s just the two of them. and obviously it’s not like voldemort gossips about his private life in tabloid interviews or whatnot. ALSO the whole Bella Is Alive reveal isn’t nearly as dramatic as delphi’s big moment.. it’s more discreet and insidious in that way it implies that she was there hiding in plain sight all along. and if the ministry can keep sth this big a secret, what else are they hiding.. ah classic intimidation tactics of an authoritarian regime

29. i dont think this is ever stated in the CC but in terms of politics and bureaucracy i imagine voldemort has a fancy office in the ministry and spends 99% of his time there and rarely spends any time out and about. he’s almost never seen by anyone, rarely attends events etc. delphi’s the one who handles the day to day shit in the wizarding world. she’s like.. the public relations manager.. between the public and voldemort

30. bella is of similar status within the ministry but that’s just bc people are scared shitless of her. she doesn’t actually hold any political power and she most certainly does not want to, that is not her area of expertise at all

31. delphi is dangerously powerful and i think that’s really sexy of her

32. re: #21 it’s like. as voldemort warms up to bella, she in turn chillaxes a bit with the whole blind devotion thing and becomes bolder with him like. she’ll outright question his decisions or tell him what he should do, make judgement calls etc. and it becomes a regular thing.. turns into this casual companionship ya feel.. i won’t say they become equals bc that’s just unrealistic but he certainly stops treating her like his inferior. he recognizes her value and i daresay her authority and stops treating her like shit all the time Wow Romance Is Alive!! (this sounds like some sort of “douche fuckboi changes for his poor mistreated love interest” schtick but it’s really not that bc they’re both monstrous people who do not deserve any pity so jot that down. they’re horrible and they deserve each other and they eventually do make it work and i am so so happy for them)

33. it is never outright stated that voldemort can’t love. jkr has said that he doesn’t understand love and that it’s just symbolism!!! that he’s the child of a loveless union and grew up without knowing love!!! BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE PHYSICALLY CANNOT LOVE thanks for coming 2 my ted talk. i wasn’t aware of this until a few months ago and i was thrilled to find out my soft hcs are not entirely ooc after all

34. THE POINT IS. THEY ARE A SEMI-FUNCTIONAL FAMILY and i just really love soft domestic scenarios so sorry jkr but the dark au is the only canon now and it belongs to me. everybody has feelings and everything is soft. i’d like to pitch an idea for a kuwtk style reality show but it’s these 3 sociopaths under one roof navigating family life and wizarding world politics

35. to finish i’d like to apologize for downplaying the fact that all 3 of the people i woobified in this post are psychotic murderers and tyrants etc

—— i’ll be updating this if/when i remember anything i forgot AND ALSO send me ur thoughts and comments and constructive criticism etc pls pls pls

—— follow me on twitter and also curiouscat bc i get a scary amount of q’s about voldemort’s sex life thank you and goodbye

edits:

36. in this household we stan dark haired delphi. no i will not be taking any criticism regarding this particular fact

37. bella and voldemort never get married. obviously, because that’s a disgustingly romantic and pointless thing to do. it’s sentimental and unnecessary (well, voldemort thinks so, bella might just disagree but she’s not about to force his hand) BUT that’s not to say they’re not basically an old married couple anyway. AND as much as voldemort thinks love is weakness or whatever he knows this, that they’re about as close as two people can get. SO if he just so happens to gift her a ring.. well it’s a purely symbolic gesture but the implication is definitely there

38. it’s the horcrux ring. he trusts her that much. m y h e a r t

#hp #harry potter #bellamort

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