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inkfulinsight · 1 year

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Coffee Talks - Chapter 2

Out the window I watch Tom pace a bit on the phone, with a hand in his pocket. It looks serious. As though sensing someone is looking at him, he turns to the coffee shop and finds me, just behind the glass after at the exclamation mark on the sign on the glass that read “Just Coffee!’ but they didn’t stick to their word, they had pastries and milkshake and a whole breakfast meal. Couldn’t blame them though, the economy was tough. Tom stared at me as he wedged the phone between his shoulder and his cheek and placed his fingers over his left eye in the form a heart. It meant I love you. Eye + love+ you (you, being the person that was being stared at). It was a trick we had seen in a movie we watched a while ago. I raised up my head and brought it down in a nod. A frown formed on his face, and I could tell it was because I failed to do it back. That was another problem I found with love, did people love because they expected it to be returned? Wasn’t it enough for you to just love someone and not expect it back, just your love being sufficient for both you. Wasn’t the case with Jacktrina but what I felt for him was on a very different path from love.

I feel the need to be loved back by someone simply because we loved them stemmed from greed and a strong desire not to feel foolish. Unrequited love stories almost always have you saying ‘he/she must be really foolish for still going after him/her’, ‘couldn’t be me,’ ‘know your worth’ and blah de blah. However, if the love is reciprocated, even just 15 minutes left of a 2-hour 30 minutes movie it becomes a great love story of how that same love than seemed rather foolish 45 minutes ago should be something to strive for. I wasn’t pathetic, we all were. Tomiwa had gone back to pacing, then I watched him drop the phone from his ears and place a thumb between his teeth a habit he did when he was lost in thought and after nibbling on his thumb a bit, he dropped his hand and came back in.

“How did it go?” I asked as he sat back in his chair. I really didn’t want to know; I didn’t care much for his love life, but he cared for mine, so I felt the need to reciprocate. He leaned over me and saw the cup was empty.

“You finished our coffee,” he whined with a small pout, his thick black brows coming together. I rolled my eyes.

“My coffee,” I retorted and then I asked my question again, “how did it go?”

“Sorry,” he began, tossing his phone on the table, it wasn’t locked, and I could see his call history. Kira with a red heart was staring at me. I could see she was in the favorites section of his call history and because he had just spoken to her, her name was above mine even though alphabetically c came before k. Something about that didn’t sit right with me. “She mentioned something about me not being very attentive which I thought was very hurtful because I am very attentive, I mean I noticed your sour mood since Jack boy left your life,” he said with an emphasis on the Jack boy part and then he stood up mid conversation and went to place and order at the counter.

Another habit of his I was used. He’d get up or do other things mid conversation and sometimes in the middle of a sentence and then expect I’d wait which I do and then he’d come back and continue like he never left. I drew the line when he expected me to wait on the facetime call in his house while he quickly ran a grocery errand for his grandma. I asked him why he couldn’t call and run the task at the same time he answered saying the gossip was too sweet to be distracted for a second. He got real mad when he came back and saw I had left the call. I had to find ways to appease him for several days and sign an actual contract never to do such again. He was a weirdo but at least he was my weirdo, my eyes flickered to his black screen of his phone, well he used to be. “What was I saying,” he said on returning to me. “Yeah, she also brought up something which kind of didn’t sit right with me, so we had a mini fight about it.” My brows drew together. I wondered if it was about me, if I was the problem, it had occurred in the past where an ex of his thought he spent too much time with me.

“Was it me?” I whispered. Though the whisper was for show because I kind of liked knowing how important I was to him. I liked that he also let people know of my importance to him. I liked that he never denied my importance.

“Ohh no, she said I smiled flirtatiously at the checkout lady at supermarket we went to last week,” he responded and like that my joy deflated. Like someone had taken a pin to a balloon.

“Oh,” I said in response.

“Why, did you want to be the problem again?” Again. I echoed his words in my head and I realized how toxic I sounded right now as a friend. As I opened my mouth to respond the waiter brought a tray with 2 cups of coffee, a plate of a slice of lemon cake, 2 small spoons and 2 small plastic forks and he dropped it on table. I was relived he showed up when he did, he had saved me from an awkward situation.

“Thank you,” Tom said to the waiter and then turning to me he said. “I got you another cup since I drank most of your first one,” I nodded. Then he got up to get the sachets of sugar and milk on a tray by the counter.

“I noticed you saved Kira with a red heart,” I said as he sat down. He nodded and I nearly slapped myself because I was beginning to dive into territories best left untouched. “You like her that much,” he nodded again pouring the 2 sachets of sugar into a coffee cup, he had already poured the milk and then he passed it to me and repeated the same with the second cup.

“The first one was too sweet,” he said as he brought his coffee to his lips. I nodded. “Ahh ahh ahh,” he yelled slightly, dropping the cup. “I burnt my tongue,” he said sticking out his tongue to me. I smiled, shaking my head at him.

“Are you five?” I asked rhetorically and then inspecting his tongue I said, “there is no burn mark, though I don’t know if those show on your tongue but just be careful.” He nodded his head and then I gently pat his back and then it turns to gentle rubs up and down his back. This goes on for a bit and the next question leaves my mouth. “Why?” I ask.

“Because it was hot,” he responds pausing from blowing his coffee and glancing sideways at me with an ‘is it not obvious’ look on his face.

“Not the coffee,” I begin, rolling my eyes. “Kira,” I say.

“Ohh,” he takes a sip of the coffee and sets it down, “the same reason applies, but that is a very shallow thing to say,” he goes on to say and then he turns his body fully to me, his eyes as staring into mine very intensely like he does when he is serious and rather than answer my question he asks his own, “Why did you stay with Jack that long if you didn’t like him?” “That obvious?” he nods his head.

“Well, it was to me at least, I cannot say the same for Jack, he is a little self-centered,” he adds. I nod in agreement.

“I guess, I just felt I had invested so much of me into the relationship, I didn’t want to see it crumble. All my hard work and effort to put up with him and his friends and I don ‘t even want to re-call my encounters with his family who act as though it was their first encounter with a black person. He was cute,” I could see Tom make a face of disapproval at that statement. “He was, kind of at least, but he was just not for me or in his words we weren’t compatible.”

“Was that how he broke up with you?” I nodded. “What did you say in response, tell me you replied,” he pleaded, hoping I didn’t let Jack have the last laugh.

“I said I know and blocked his number and deleted the whole application. Couldn’t delete text message app, because he sent a lot of petty mean things later, like I wasn’t beautiful-”

“He is lying about that,” Tom said matter-of-factly. My eyes widened slightly, but I just continued speaking.

“My poor attitude is why I was single all those years. I have abandonment issues; nobody would ever find me attractive-”

“Lie again” Tom interjected nibbling on the cake then he handed me the fork he used with some cake on it even though there was another untouched fork.

“You like kissing me,” I whispered as I took the fork eating the cake. I could taste the lemon zest. It brought some happiness to my aching heart. “I am surprised you ordered lemon you don’t really like it.”

“Well, you are having a bad day,” he said taking the fork from me and scooping some more cake into his mouth. “Go on,” he said urging me to continue. However, I didn’t want to say the last part of all the things he said, true or not this last bit sort of stung because a part of me had believed it and I felt terribly bad for even believing it in the first place.

“He said,” I began my voice growing quiet.

“Hmm hmm,” Tom said urging me on as he stuffed himself with more cake, then he handed me the fork again. I shook my head, he tilted his head, dropping the fork and his eyes studied my face. “What did he say to you CS,” he said. It was short for cupid’s shot. “Tell me please,” he said his voice low and full of worry. He dragged his chair closer to me to the point his knee was pressing into my thighs. I didn’t move I just sat there very still hoping I could freeze myself rather than open my mouth and repeat what Jackila had said and now I had made such a show of it that no matter how casually I said it, Tom would take it very seriously.

“He said,” I paused again. At this point I was beginning to annoy myself. why couldn’t I say it? Why couldn’t I say he told me Tom hung around me because he pitied me and there was no real value in being friend with people like me. I could feel my eyes tearing up as I remember going to delete Jacket’s messages that had piled up and saw that one as the last message. I remember feeling the air leaving my lungs looking at my biggest fear on the screen, forcefully brought from my head to real life, just like that. The phone slipped out of my hand, and I think I accidently pressed delete between crying myself to sleep and waking up in the next morning because by that morning the messages were gone. I spent the whole day in bed that day. I scrunched up my old brown braids I should have taken out a week ago in my left hand and let the strands fall slowly out of my hand. Tom just kept watching me patiently. “He said you were friends with me out of pity and that there was no real value to hanging out with me.” I had finally said it out loud. Tom was silent for a second or two and then I heard a loud bang startling me. I blinked in shock and a tear slipped out of my teary eyes. I refused to sniff. On seeing it I heard the loud sound again. Tom had slammed his hand on the table.

A waiter rushed over to us, his eyes flickered between us, and he noticed the tear down my cheek. I turned away, but from the side of my eyes I could see his worried expression. “Sir, ma, is everything alright?”

Tom smiled at him and then he apologized, and I guess he felt bad cause he ordered another cake, and it was still lemon flavored. The waiter left and the silence stretched.

“Say something,” I said without looking at him. He didn’t respond. Seconds passed and I turned to him, he had been staring at me the whole time.

“You believed it didn’t you,” I was about to shake my head, but he shook his telling me to stop. “You believed what he said and that hurts me so much I cannot even comprehend it,” he said and I rather than feel bad, an anger within me flared.

“You?” I began with as much venom I could muster in my voice. “Why should you feel bad?” I asked him incredulously. “It is not you that is being pitied so please save me the nonsense pain,” I spat at him.

“Ouch,” he simply said as the waiter dropped of the lemon cake at the edge of the table and quickly walked away. He heard me, now thanks to Tom I have made a scene and won’t be able to come here for a while. He was like that, ruining good things for me. That wasn’t a very truthful thought, I take it back. He was probably the one of the few good things I had. “Sorry,” I said after some time. I had returned to staring out the window. I wasn’t really look at anything or for anything, my eyes just stared off into the distance without really capturing anything.

“You know, sometimes, of late actually, I think you just put up with me, like how you did with Jack,” Tom began with a sadness in his voice, and I whipped around finding his eyes and they were equally as sad. He was smiling but it was also sad. “I try my best to make you smile but the moment I take my attention away or you think I have, you revert to this icy form, and I wonder if your smile was just for show. It is so fast, and it never lingers. You rarely laugh, and you just sit there looking bored and I wonder what I am doing wrong. Sometimes you’d laugh with others but if I come, you’d suddenly shut up and I feel the immediate need to leave the room, I want you keep laughing freely even if it doesn’t have to do with me. Even though it hurts me that I don’t experience that genuine laughter,” he finished and then he put some cake in his mouth again. He ate some more cake and he just kept eating cake and drinking his coffee while I looked at him processing my thoughts. I didn’t know he felt that way. More so I didn’t know I acted that way. He was my safe space, but he also drained me a lot mentally because of a truth I had refused to accept. With him I was always on the edge between love and friendship. He’d do or say certain things sometimes that blurred the lines. Others saw how he acted around me, and they’d say things too. Then the line gets blurrier, and I don’t know which side I am standing at but then I get scared to act on it because what if it is all in my head? What if I lose him? What if we do fly but it is only temporary? What if we then crash and he is out of my life? Then I’d lose him, his voice, his laughter, movie nights, his hugs, his scent, his face in my hands. I don’t want him to stop calling me CS. I don’t want girls to stop wondering where I stand in his life. I don’t want to cross any lines that don’t need to be crossed. I think I really don’t want to know where I stand because what if it is disappointment waiting for me with his answer.

All I know that is certain is that I want to remain in his life. I want to remain important in his life. I want to be as important to him as he is to me. I want to be listed as one of the good things in his life. I just want to be by him and be in his sight forever. So, I tapped him bringing my hands to my eyes in the form of a heart. He smiled on seeing it, a genuine smile. I sighed in relief dropping my hand.

“You are one of the good things I have in this life,” I began dragging what was left of the second plate of cake, “I thought this was for me,” I snickered bringing it completely to myself indicating he had had enough.

“One of?” he said with a raised brow. “Bummer! I wanted to be the only good thing in your life,” he said with a slight whine in his voice.

“Take what you get,” I joked.

“Wow, you treat me this coldly and still I cannot break away from you. If I ran far away, I am sure I’d still end up back to you,” he said. He had blurred the lines again. I felt an ache in my chest.

“I’d run faster,” I responded, and he used his knees to press into my thighs playfully. “And shift,” I commented pushing him a bit.

“Wow, wow wow,” he repeated sounding like an ambulance as he pretended to be offended and pushed back his chair but dragging my coffee with him and once again drinking from my lipstick mark. “I guess I do like kissing you,” he said so lowly I almost didn’t catch or maybe I had misheard him, but I didn’t ask and like that everything dissolved between us. I still didn’t know why Kira had a red heart. He still didn’t know why I became somewhat guarded around him, but we didn’t ask each other any further questions, that intimate moment where we hoped over each other’s walls had passed and now we had returned to our usual settings. Maybe another day we’d pick up from where we left off, maybe one day it’d be clear where we stand. Unfortunately, or would I say fortunately that day is not today, and I am okay with that. I am okay with just having him in my life and I’d like to keep it that way for a long time. As to Jacktilda I am so happy he is out of my life. I’d probably not see anyone for a long while, but I am sure with Tom around I won’t feel too lonely or have time to ponder over my sad love life or in this case inexistent one and that is okay too. I don’t think I am quite ready to see a person. There are many flaws in me that need fixing before I give myself entirely to someone.

“What are you thinking about?” Tom asks and though I was certain he had moved back some minutes ago he was right back beside me, his knees nearly brushing me. He had his hand propped up on the table, his palm was in the form of a fist, the side of his head resting on the top his knuckles and his eyes were trained on me.

“Thinking about how long we are going to be friends for,” I respond.

“Lol, forever of course,” he said waving it off with his hand. “Where do you want to throw me?” he asked rhetorically, and I mimicked him putting my elbow on the table and resting my head on my hand and smiled at him. He returned my smile. I couldn’t throw you anywhere I thought.

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renneiscent · 2 years

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You Are All That Matters

Chapters: 3/?

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It feels like I’m in hell for waiting the next 4 hours until the plane is landed without checking on my phone. I’m trying as much as I could to divert my attention from all the scenarios that could ever happen when I reached Duskwood, precisely when I reached the mine and met Michael Hanson.

I was trying to read the magazines that they offer but I mused every time and when all of my attention was collected, I read the same paragraphs over and over again. Feeling sick with the endless sentences that never finished because too much drowning in thoughts, I decided to watch the sky that viewed from the plane’s window instead. It’s all pitch black and there is no sign of starlight at all. It seems the universe gives me the sign that nothing good will come toward me.

My eyes shut tight as I’m trying to breathing slowly, letting all of the weighs on my chest that clung so hard out till I feel like want to throw up. As much as I’m scared with whatever happens in front of me, I mean.. it isn’t supposed to be that I will have a nice evening while having a glass of hot chocolate with Michael, is it? I will encounter and face to face with the guy who kidnapped a woman, who murdered a young lady and brought her to the forest, who murdered my friend.

Feeling my hands trembling hard, I stood up from my position and walk to the plane’s lavatory. Right away I’m locking myself there and sitting on the top of the toilet’s lid. I want to bawl my eyes out but no tears come out, I wonder why. I really need someone to talk to right now, someone who will listen to me, who let me be vulnerable at least. I need Jake.

After traumatic experience like this one, it should help to be able to talk about it to someone.

I remember his words that convince me to share my grief with him when Richy is ambushed. How I was so furious at him and how much I hated him that easily convince me to keep going to the end of this mess with him and how much I hate his messages always end up with full stop... like he’s kind of robot or something. I know that we shouldn’t judge someone’s emotion by their typing and I know it’s hard for him to show his feeling through text, just like he said to me in the past... one of his flaw that he finds it hard to tell but he still told me anyway.

“I miss you,” I mumble while bending down with my hands covered my face. Finally, I’m crying it all out.

I’m crying like few minutes, probably three to five minutes? I’m not sure. But my eyes already swollen and red, I wash my face and trying to breathing slowly. After letting all of it out, I’m kind of relieved. My mind is on the great state. I need something to drink to remain calm. I walked out from the lavatory and meet one of the stewardesses.

I clear my throat before speaking, “excuse me, can I get a cup of tea? I’m.. kind of nervous with the flight?” I said lie while smiling really awkward, I could tell by sensing the tensed muscle on my cheeks.

“Oh my! Of course, miss. Here, let me get you one. Would you like another thing to calm you down?” the woman in front of me furrow her eyebrows, she looks so worried more than before. Because of her expression, I can smile sincerely to reassure her.

“No, but thank you. A cup of tea is more than enough.”

I was sipping my tea while having a nice little conversation with her, she’s trying to put all of my attention with her funny story. It is so nice of her since her method managed to calm me. I feel really bad to lie about her for telling that I’m nervous with the flight and how my reason to be here is to meet my sick grandma. But it would take too long to spill all of the tea to her, don’t you think? It would be left her speechless and I don’t want to leave my first impression with ‘hey, I’m nothing but stranger yet I still try so hard to find a missing girl that I had no idea with!’ kind of vibe.

Having someone to talk really help me to stay focused, I’m feeling ready more than before. But I guess the relaxation I have got myself into with a cup of the tea and how I cried earlier makes me tired, without warning I just dozed off until the plane is landed.

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#duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood everbyte #duskwood game #duskwood fandom #everbyte game #everbyte studios #duskwood mc

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lilaccatholic · 2 years

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What is the most delicious thing you've had to eat in recent memory?

So there's this little restaurant in Windsor, Ontario, right? It's a hole-in-the-wall kinda place that's been there for decades solely because it's one of the few places Italian people trust to taste about as good as what they themselves cook. My mom and I were only in the area by happenstance. My sister was going to a concert in Detroit, and rather than drive all the way home only to come back a few hours later, we decided to take the tunnel across the border and grab something to eat.

As we drive there she's pointing out all the places she used to go, telling me the stories that that make up who she was in her teens and twenties and I'm just soaking it in, y'know? I love these kinds of conversations. They sit heavy in your gut like guilt and ache your bones like the cold sea breeze. It's like the memory of your grandma's cookies--full of warmth but so overshadowed by loss it's almost not worth thinking about--because it was great while it lasted but now it's gone.

Because, see, the area my mom grew up in isn't what it used to be. When the casino came in it brought all kinds of crime with it. The nice shops downtown are mostly gone; either they died during covid or the owners couldn't pay the rent when the casino's presence jacked up rent prices. But this one little restaurant is still around.

And look, this isn't just any restaurant. My parents got engaged here, we ate here after visiting my grandparents as a kid, it's who catered my grandfather's funeral (my grandfather, a poor kid from Nova Scotia who only learned to appreciate his Italian heritage when he was in his 60s and 70s, who loved his family but wasn't always good at showing it). This place is important to us.

So we get there and we settle down to eat. The waiter puts on that fake charm that Italian people use when they think you aren't Italian to get you to buy more in the name of hospitality. No judgement, I've done it myself.

(And I have another identity crisis. Because I'm not in the club again. Because other Italian people never see that I'm Italian. Because as the generations go on, we get less Italian and become more American and Canadian and because we don't know the language anymore--because that was the language the adults used to talk in secret, because they wanted to "fit in" with the Americans, because there was a time where just having a vowel at the end of your last name was enough of a reason to not give you a job and now I have a made up anglicized last name and no traditions and nothing cultural that isn't food).

And we talk more about all the things that are different. How the area that was Little Italy around here is becoming more and more other things, and how that's not BAD and how it's just a sign of changing immigration patterns but how the places and spaces that were familiar and comfortable are still GONE and there's still a loss there.

So when the bread comes and it's warm and there's these bits of roasted garlic on top that I spread all over mine it's miraculous and precious but I still feel like I'm choking a little while I eat it.

And look, I ordered the veal scallopini with fresh pasta and mushrooms, okay? I never order veal. I like meat but veal has always been one of those things that made me a little squeamish. But...it's different here. It's not a regular restaurant. It smells like my great-aunt's old house, which means it smells like visits and Christmas and being so little and uncomplicated and warm and loved still. And it's like this: for a moment, I can pretend I'm still that way. Unblemished and precious. No one is gone, nothing is gone, I'm not defining life by loss. So I order the veal. And it's delicious.

I mean, we're talking melt-in-your-mouth think about it for weeks delicious. Something's been sauted in butter, someone made this pasta by hand, someone cussed someone out to get the best, freshest mushrooms and all of it has contributed to this dish that is so delicious but so foreign all the same.

Because for me veal is a memory. We ate it more when I was a kid before it got too expensive and my grandmother switched to cooking with more chicken because it's better for you, anyway.

(She was a force of nature before the dementia. When a priest told her how bad the superstition of the evil eye was she stood up to all the men in the family and had them hand over their cornicelli, crushed them up, set them on fire, and buried the ashes in a coffee can somewhere to never be found. I hate superstition but sometimes it feels like all the last bits of Italian in us died with those little horns.)

We didn't linger after dinner like we used to over coffee and dessert. The restaurant was getting closer to closing and we didn't want to be those insufferable customers that delayed closing. Instead we walk around a little. She shows me the store her grandparents used to live above, the dress store where she bought her wedding dress, the bakery where her parents bought bread. It's nice.

But.

It still feels like it's all coming apart in my hands. Like I was supposed to hold the line and tow it for the next generation but it's all dirty and greasy and frayed and we need to repair it if we're going to continue to hold on but no one wants to slow down long enough to mend anything and at this point I'm wondering if it's worth it to try to find anything. Can we even hold on anymore? How far back did the tear start?

Later, when we've crossed the border again, it feels like leaving something behind. Like so long as we toured old haunts the ghosts of the past got to live again and by leaving we've condemned them back to the shadows. I feel like a murderer.

Because that's the thing, right? It's dead. It's all dead. The thriving immigrant cultures my parents and their parents would wax nostalgic for don't exist anymore. Sometimes, like when my cousin sends us pictures of him making and curing his own sausages and salami or canning sauce it seems like it could come back, but the thing about community is it can never be just one person. Once he gives up that last flickering lantern will be snuffed out and we'll be as American and Canadian as they wanted us to be when we first started coming over here. Or maybe not.

Maybe, the fact that people remember what's gone is a sign that things aren't too far gone.

See, I grew up near Detroit. I know what it looks like when something beautiful decays. I also know that what sticks around after massive decay are the most stubborn creatures around. Not that anyone cares, but Detroit is working really hard to come back, actually, and the organic beauty that's poked up through the rock like seedlings after a volcano will snatch your breath from you.

You'll say it's a coincidence--and cynically I'd say you're right--but not long after I got my updated 23andme results. Things mostly stayed the same. Well, except this time my mom couldn't tear her eyes away from it. Since then she's spent every spare minute researching for and adding to the family tree I have on Ancestry. There's talk of making foods from the old country for Thanksgiving and Christmas long ago abandoned as too complicated. And me, I've started learning Italian. Io sono Lilac.

That meal didn't so much touch something in us as it grabbed us by the guts and led us around with them like a leash until we faced up to the fact that we didn't know who we were anymore. But darn it all if we aren't trying to get back. Maybe it'll start something, maybe it won't. But maybe it will. That's enough for now, I think.

If nothing else I ate well.

I hope you do, too.

#food #my writing #anonymous asks #send asks #answered asks

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arwen17 · 1 year

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Bailey School Kids discussion part 2

FINALLY finished reading the entire series!! @aurorasilverthorne, I wanted to wait to respond to your comments on my last post until I finished the series. Totally agree and love all the other comments you left on my last post. But wanted to discuss these comments further:

"I'm pretty sure Mrs. Jeepers and Mr. Drake are siblings. I think we see him in "Vampire Baby" and he's the dad of Kilmer's baby cousin. I think Ben and the others don't recognize him because he's the third grade councilor and they're in fourth grade. It's vaguely hinted at when Madame Hauntly mentions Edwardo Hauntly had six kids. I'm assuming she's actually his wife and Mrs. Jeepers, Boris and Drake are three of those six kids.

I think her husband is definitely dead. My guess is vampires stop aging after a certain age, but their bodies can still wear out, which means they aren't truly immortal and can and will die eventually once their organs give out. I don't think Mrs. Jeepers would interact with humans as much as she does if she didn't have complete control of her vampiric instincts because it would endanger her and her family and their species otherwise."

I think what you said is excellent ideas for fanfiction, but I'm trying to be as accurate as possible as I try to figure out the book canon.

In book 3, Kilmer calls Madame Hauntly his grandma and asks her to tell the story about great-grandpa Hauntly. So I think Edwardo Hauntly is the father of Madame Hauntly, not her husband. Which means Madame Hauntly is one of those six children mentioned. We might assume all 5 siblings of Madame Hauntly are also vampires, but that may not be true, given this family seems to have werewolf cousins and uncles. So Mr. Drake could be a cousin of Mrs. Jeepers or not. There's plenty of siblings he could be related to or he might not be related to any of them and be a totally separate vampire line. Edwardo Hauntly battled with someone called Vlad. I don't know if that implies Edwardo became a vampire because of his battles and Vlad bit him, or if it was simply two different vampire families battling each other.

Then there’s the vampire baby that Kilmer’s vampire uncle dropped off in book 7. Is that Mr. Drake? I don’t think it is. If that were Mr. Drake, I’m certain he wouldn’t have avoided all conversation with Mrs. Jeepers in all the other books. Being family would have been far more reason to talk to each other at some point, and not just being vampires and Romanian. Makes no sense for them to ignore each other like they did. I know he borrowed her basement for the rock concert practices, so clearly they must have had a conversation at some point, but it’s so strange they have ZERO dialogue with each other in front of the kids. AND I think the 4th graders would have recognized this vampire uncle that picked up the baby at the end of book 7 as being their former Bailey School guidance counselor, rock star, or kickball coach. The picture doesn't look like Mr. Drake and none of the 4th graders recognize him as such.

Next topic:

I do wonder how long Hauntly vampires can live. Mrs.Jeepers seems at least a couple hundred years old if she's the one that stole the gem from the Leprechaun King, which is heavily implied in book 4. I'm not sure what to make of her dead husband. Maybe he was human and simply died of old age and she hasn't wanted to remarry since then? We don't have any evidence of any of the Hauntly vampires aging and dying. We don't even know for sure if Edwardo died of old age or not. They're telling stories about him, so I assume that's a sign he has passed from life into legend.

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More questions I have now that I've finished reading the series:

Sleeping arrangements:

Madame Hauntly has a coffin. Boris, Mrs.Jeepers' brother, is super tall and very vampire-like, just like Madame Hauntly. But Mrs jeepers doesn’t dress as vampiric as them, nor does her look-alike cousin Justine Hauntly. Are they just slightly better at blending in with society?

That coffin in Mrs jeepers basement, I guess that’s her coffin? But she has her magic brooch. So maybe she actually sleeps in a bed upstairs? She came from the upstairs when the kids broke into her basement in book 1. But that doesn’t mean anything. She may have tapped on the inside of the box to scare the kids away, then flew upstairs to turn the light on to confuse them as where she actually came from in the house. Like I said, she seems to be more self-aware and slightly better at blending in than her brother or mother.

Interesting to see that Mrs. Jeepers seems to sleep like an ordinary human, unless she's faking it all night long for the benefit of all the people in the gym with her: https://imgur.com/OpSgxmK I think at the very least, the brooch allows her to get away with no coffin or ancestral soil like Boris and Madame Hauntly seem to require. But who knows if the brooch allows her to do that indefinitely.. She might have used up a lot of power for this one particular night. None of the vampires seem to have any problem being awake during the day and sleeping at night.

Food:

Boris keeps trying to serve the kids inhuman food, but they served Eddie and co harmless noodles in Romania (super special #2). Perhaps Mrs. jeepers controlled the menu there? Or the human cook lady knew better and the monsters never questioned it? Is the Hauntly food deadly to ordinary humans? I thought it was since Ben and gang always refused Boris' food whenever it was offered, but then Carey seems to drink it without issue or complaint: https://imgur.com/fFrEABb

Also interesting that Mrs. Jeepers seems to live exclusively on "tomato juice" but nobody except the kids ever questions this odd dietary choice: https://imgur.com/wsX8wnw

Procreation:

Vampires seem to be able to procreate... since Boris and Mrs. jeepers have a mother. But did Boris sleep with Hilda to create Kilmer? Or did Hilda create Kilmer in a lab? I lean towards them having sex to have a child, since these vampires do seem to be able to procreate and it would explain how their Cousin Fang (book 2) and Uncle Barker (super special) are werewolves and yet somehow still related to a vampire family. Or is he just a cousin in a metaphorical sense? But Fang bears the last name “Hauntly”. After Book 2, I thought maybe he was an adopted child. A werewolf child adopted and raised by a sympathetic vampire family. But thanks to the super special, we know there's also an Uncle Barker, so there's more than one werewolf somehow supposedly biologically connected to this Hauntly vampire family. Boris married a Frankenstein creature Hilda, so perhaps the vampires can procreate with literally anything: human, werewolf, frankenstein, etc.

And given the vampire baby, these vampires clearly reproduce and age at least somewhat like humans. I wonder if it’s like Vampire Knight (anime) --> The more human blood they have in their lineage, the less powers they have. Yes, humans can be turned into vampires, but they have the least amount of powers compared to those who are born vampire. And the purest-blooded vampires (very little to no human blood) have the strongest powers, but constant incest because there’s so few members of the exceptionally pure lines. Perhaps this Hauntly vampire family has a lot of human blood (and werewolf and frankenstein blood etc) in them, so they're odd as hell, but weak in power because their vampiric blood is so impure because they will breed with literally anything.

In conclusion, Bailey School Kids was all about being suspicious and accusing strange adults of being monsters with nefarious plans. Bailey City Monsters is about kids who LOVE the monsters and want to protect them from the humans who want to kick them out of the city lol. Ben and his gang see it as the monsters being too innocent to realize their plans will be seen as "nefarious" by the rest of the city residents. Eddie and gang just have moments where they choose the "devil they know" over the unknown devil, so they sometimes come to Mrs Jeepers defense because they think the alternative option is worse.

#bailey school kids #mrs jeepers #vampire #book series #horror #mystery

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benispunk · 3 months

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I will not miss anything

Growing up I use to think my "normal" was everyone's "normal". I think we kind of all go through that. And then you see the signs and realize that maybe your "normal" is really just yours.

I'm the only female grandchild in my family. This family, I learned not so long ago, used to be an only boys family, if you know what I mean. I heard that my great-grandmother once said "i don't know what I would have done if I had had a daughter". She had four sons. One of them of course being my grandpa.

My grandpa had two children, my dad and my aunt. My aunt was the older child and my dad was the heir. He was the one who would keep the last name, the legacy, till the end of his life. And that, my friends, is only one out of so many problems in my family. In case you're wondering, no, we are not the heir of a crown, my grandpa isn't a king. Nor are we aristocrats or possessor of a huge fortune. So, really, what's the point of being so formal about it, right ?

I am the eldest daughter. I have one little brother. Mu aunt had two sons. Guess who will keep the last name at the end of the day?

You are right! Not me, nor my cousins. My brother is the official heir of "everything". Whatever everything is. And do not worry, I am not jealous at all, I've always found that quite ridiculous.

Anyway back to the topic. My "normal" is that since I was 8, i have been a responsible little woman. Unlike my brother, i was raised like an adult and not like a child. My brother was raised like a child and treated like a child. I knew how to do everything from a very young age because "I'm such a smart and responsible girl". And that's just how I was. And to me, it never was a problem.

My "normal" is going to my grandparents house during the holidays while my parents are working and not actually spending time with my grandparents. It was just me and my brother in my grandparents' house. Or it could also be my other grandma coming over to our house to take care of us while our parents are away, but in the end I was the one keeping an eye on my young brother and my grandma who preferred checking everything in my mom's (her daughter) stuff and using her makeup and products.

My "normal" is accepting and shutting my mouth when my grandpa interrupts me when I'm in the middle of a conversation. It's my grandmother telling me that 'It's such a waste of your capacities to do that" when I tell her I want to be a filmmaker, when I've been accepted in the most prestigious school in my country - that I refused to go to because it was too expensive.

My "normal" is also accepting that I can't control the way my grandparents are, even when they are the most egoistical, ego-centrical, hyper-victimization, mean, liars, mythomaniacs, manipulative people I know.

My "normal" is valuing family over everything else, even when it kills me.

Those examples are a few out of thousands of examples.

And I understand it's not everyone's "normal".

But life goes on even if pigeon's shit falls onto your shoulder every once in a while.

And after talking with my therapist about all of that...I though for an instant.

Will I miss them when they're not here anymore ?

I'm pretty sure I will. I will undoubtably cry and sob for days, weeks, maybe months. But then it will stop.

Because I will not miss my grandparents. I will not miss them with that title.

I never missed my grandparents.

I used to watch my friends with their grandparents and it was nothing like what I had back home. Nothing at all.

I never hugged my grandparents, I actually have a physical affection problem and I don't like most of physical contact because of never receiving any.

I don't have big memories or actual fun memories with them either. Except for things I did with my brother at their house but with my brother only.

So, I never missed that feeling. I never desired it either. I don't actually know what it's like to have grandparents because of how "not normal" my "normal" used to be, and still is.

So I will not miss my "grandparents" because there's no such thing as that in my heart. I will miss the people. But then I will close the book.

And life goes on.

#dear diary #writing #sleep deprived ramblings #anxienty

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moonsquaremars · 6 months

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S Y N C H R O N I C I T Y

i’ve been adept to recognizing synchronicity in my life since i learned what it was, years ago. it’s not exactly a household word, but thankfully enough people know what it is that i’ve had great conversations.

usually when it happens, i feel at ease, and my anxieties wash away, if only for a little while.

in this post, i’ll be talking about all the crazy synchronicities that happened with the guy i was seeing this summer.

it first happened with a visit from a ghost. yes, you read that right. and no, i’m not crazy, and i know it wasn’t a hallucination.

i’ve felt spirits here and there since i was young. sometimes i’m not sure if it’s just a projection of my consciousness, but other times it’s been rather undeniable. this was one of those times.

one example of synchronicity in my life was when i was driving around my neighborhood. i wanted to play a specific CD, but i was driving and i didn’t want to get distracted so i was like oh well. then, out of nowhere, my radio which was turned off, suddenly turns on, and the cd that was in ejects. my radio has never malfunctioned like that before, and hasn’t since. but, taking it as a sign, i pulled over and switched the cds.

now. to the story.

it was a summer day. i was on my phone looking for a hookup online, and i felt a presence outside of my bedroom window. i didn’t recognize it. usually i feel family members or friends who have passed away, but i didn’t know who this was. i shrugged it off and went to go meet up with a guy.

i get to the motel, and he doesn’t show. i get back online, and a guy who has pestered me for years messages me. i give in, for no particular reason. i had been ignoring this guy for a while.

when i get to his house, i know within minutes that i want to marry him. he has a house, is just my type, and there’s other factors i’d rather not get into. but i know almost immediately.

he feels something too. we hit it off, exchange numbers. and i’m back over there the next day. we end up spending every day together for the next two months.

a couple weeks into the relationship, i feel the same spirit that i felt outside my bedroom window. once, outside his bedroom window. and the second time inside his bedroom. perplexed, i eventually make the connection that it is his ex boyfriend who recently passed away.

he told me within the first few days getting to know each other, and he has a picture of him over his bed. i can still feel the grief he has over what had happened. he tells me the exact day it happened, and what ensued.

it’s not until we are sitting on his couch and he shows me a picture of them that i make the connection. the spirit that had been visiting me was tall. his ex was tall. excited, i tell him that i felt a presence that i believed was his ex.

i told him how i believed that he led me to him, since that day i was supposed to meet up with someone else, and it just so happened that it didn’t work out and i ended up going to his place.

i’ve always been a spiritual person. i carry sage and palo santo on me. i saged this guys house, and played youtube videos to raise the aura of his home. i left palo santo on his living room shelf that had pictures and memorabilia of his family members.

i left a cigarette out beneath a photo of his deceased ex, to honor him, and i was very thankful for being brought to this new guy i liked so much. at this point i believed his ex brought me to him to help him with his grief. i would often pray to his ex to decide on what to do, especially later when things got ugly.

through the course of the summer, things got more serious. i started planning a life with him. he was coming over to my house, something which i had never really done before. i live with my grandma and never really brought romantic partners over. he was a first for that, and made me feel like i got the stereotypical high school relationship i never got.

things with him clicked. our sex was electrifying. i never felt that sexually honest and compatible with someone. i would imagine us having sex in so many different locations. i started to see him as a husband.

however, the spirits i had communed with started to give me concern. i’ll get more into that after i discuss the dream.

T H E D R E A M

i’ve had psychic dreams since my early 20s, or so i thought. recently i’ve had two childhood dreams come true. anyway —

i had a dream about a year before i met this guy. i was at my mom’s house, and i remember waking up from it and getting the sense that it was important. it was vivid, and something in me just knew it was important for some reason.

in the dream, i’m behind my car, it’s night time. i’m in a sketchy neighborhood, and jacob, a man who i was intensely in love with, was helping me put art in the back of my car. a painting.

some things happen in between and i don’t remember. the next thing i know, i am sitting or laying and there is a gun. a man with a gun. just before there is a shot, i immediately wake up.

i went downstairs and got some water. over the next few months, i didn’t think too much of the dream. however, it started weighing on me more and more. i stopped traveling with art in my car (i’m an artist and also move between houses, so i often have miscellaneous art). i thought it would mean that i would get robbed.

however, over time i started thinking about jacob. eventually, it got to the point where i was thinking about the dream often. i wouldn’t have art in my car, and if i did, i told myself it couldn’t be about to happen since i hadn’t talked to jacob.

fast forward to meeting the new guy. he was a perfect blend of characteristics that made him suitable to be liked by both of my parents. this was important to me. i saw him as fitting perfectly into my life and my family, and my circle of friends. i was ecstatic.

i had been wanting him to meet my friend nadia. i always introduce new boyfriends to her to get her approval. one night, i tell him we’re going over. i don’t make a big deal about it, it’s casual.

but he puts on jeans. i hadn’t yet seen him wear jeans. he always wore his work uniform, or basketball shorts. i thought it was cute that he wanted to dress up to meet my friend.

the night goes smoothly. we talk and hang out with nadia. she had just moved into the apartment upstairs in her building. i cuddled with him on the couch, with nadia on the other side. another boundary breaking thing, cuz i usually wouldn’t show affection like that in my friends home.

well, we had recently had a falling out with our friend zoe. when i got a new bed, zoe painted my old bed frame and nadia had it hanging above her tv. she said she didn’t want it anymore, and asked me to take it.

thankfully, i had my knight there to help me cuz it was heavy. he carried it to my car while i kept watch. it was dark, around midnight. nadia doesn’t live in the best part of town, and i always had to be cautious and look over my shoulder when leaving her place at night.

we get to my suv, and i open the back hatch. he lifts the painting up, and as he is putting it in the back, it hits me. the dream.

now, i’ve talked to my friends before about my dreams and how they predict the future. the caveat is that i don’t know when it will come true, and i don’t always know which dream.

often times it is just something trivial. like a specific image or detail, but i will run into that specific thing that day and realize i saw it in my dream the night before. or, at times i will have minutes go by and as things are unfolding around me, i realize i had dreamt it the night before. i saw what would happen that day.

i had actually told nadia about this specific dream with the artwork only days before. i was thinking about it so much at this point, but it was bothering me because i couldn’t make sense of it. and i wasn’t in contact with jacob and didn’t foresee that happening anytime soon.

so i run back upstairs and tell her that the dream is coming true. she doesn’t react as strongly as i would like. this is a very big deal to me. after all, i had seen this dream almost a year prior and it was constantly on my mind. it shaped how i acted. i was cautious about having art in my car, cuz i thought i would get robbed while i had art in my car.

i explain to the guy what had happened. how i had seen me and my ex jacob putting art into the back of my car at night time in a sketchy part of town. the reason it was jacob in the dream is because our brain cannot see someone who we haven’t met or seen before. i hadn’t yet met this guy, but i was falling madly in love with him just like i had been in love with jacob. so, jacob just took the visual role of a romantic partner in that dream.

as happy as i was, i became scared. i knew how the dream ended. since the dream had finally began coming true, i unfortunately knew how it ended. and end it did, loyal to the original plot and all.

the ride home, i am terrified. it’s late, and every stop light i am looking around, seeing if anybody is suddenly approaching. homeboy insists that the dream hadn’t come true, cuz he wasn’t jacob. i don’t know if that was rooted in jealousy or what. but it annoyed me. i know what i saw, i knew what had just happened.

over the next couple of weeks i was weary about driving at night. i was expecting to get robbed by a random person on the street. i remember the gun being silver, and i somehow decided i was in the passenger seat in the dream [wow. i’m just realizing this detail was in fact true after all]

so i drive everywhere instead of letting him, like i usually did.

now back to the spirits. i began to sense some issues. as i would lay in his bedroom, one night, i began to feel like extremely hazy. like i was in another dimension, and nothing made sense. it was not a good feeling. it was like there was fog all around his house, and i felt uneasy.

as i prayed to his dead ex like i did, i started to lose trust in what i was really praying to. the stable, reassuring spirit started to become strange. not making sense. acting weird. then, it seemed like it was making fun of me. laughing at me. i stopped trusting it, and became confused.

his ancestors also gave me less confidence. there was a particular spirit, a woman. i see her as short, with brown hair and glasses. she laughs at me. every. single. time. i pray about a decision to make, and all i get is laughter in return. i don’t like it, but i try to ignore it.

fast forward to the end of the relationship.

i wake up on the morning of my birthday, i wake him up to ask if he wants panera. he sounds irritated. his tone starts to escalate, like he is arguing. we hadn’t yet had an argument. whenever i date someone, i always wonder what our first argument will be. i couldn’t figure it out with him, since until this point we had so much emotional rapport.

as he keeps arguing, part of me is like wow. he’s really about to start a fight, our first fight, on my birthday. i don’t quite remember what happens next. i know he’s angry and i’m trying to leave, since nothing i say or do is calming him down. only making it worse.

i go downstairs, and i pray. his ancestors are telling me to get the fuck out of the house immediately. i don’t like this answer. it’s my birthday, and i’m so in love with this guy. part of me doesn’t believe he’ll ruin my birthday, and i don’t want to leave. so i go downstairs to his basement.

he follows, says something irate as he lets the dog out. at this point i just decide to leave. so i pick up a box, and he comes in the room. he’s yelling at me. i’ve never seen him like this, and i don’t think a partner has ever yelled at me like this before. especially over something i wasn’t even sure what it was. and i kept trying to make it better.

he comes over to me and smashes the box out of my hands and onto the floor. he is twice my size, so i begin for the front door. i don’t know what happens next cuz i black it out. but next thing i know i am in my car. he is chasing me, and smashes his hand on my windshield as i speed in reverse out the driveway.

i lay on my bed paralyzed that morning. the panera driver has to come to my grandmas after i explain my situation over a sob filled phone call.

later that day, he texts me. he’s hateful, saying so many insulting things. i have a humiliation kink, so when he starts saying things like faggot and little dick bottom, it turns me on. but the telling me to kill myself hurt.

long story short, i forgive him, even though i’m walking on egg shells around him cuz i’m still not sure what had actually happened. he had told me he had bpd. this must have been an episode. part of his argument was that i didn’t actually care about him, that i was constantly looking for an excuse to get away from him. which wasn’t at all true.

anyway, he ends up doing something evil on his birthday, and it turns into something even more intense. his ancestors told me not to go back to his house, but i did anyway. i was so in love with him, and desperate for connection over what i would learn was from a trauma bond we shared, and i felt like i was losing friends and my ex dennis so i really just needed this new guy.

well, the next episode is on his birthday a few days later. it ends with me having to drive frantically to my father, and he has to drive over to guy’s house with me sitting in the passenger seat. he had locked me out of the house, i had no phone or wallet or any of my belongings that had accumulated at his house. and i had work in an hour.

my dads friends come over and we are standing on his front porch. i had gotten most of my stuff back, except some money and personal belongings he took out of my bag. my dads friends want to get it back. next thing we know, we hear a bullet enter a chamber, and hear a gun cock behind the front door.

this was the end of the dream. not only was he the one who helped me put paintings in the back, but he was also the one with the gun.

• • • /synchronicity

now i am a very forgiving person, especially in love. call it toxic, naive, or foolish. maybe you’re right. but i also don’t care.

i still pursued this guy. after all, i was convinced his dead ex brought me to him. we had trauma bonded. we had amazing sex. he was perfect, and if he was willing to go to therapy and not be domestic abusive again, i didn’t see the problem. he was just showing me how physically strong he was lol hehe jk unless

but we never went back to how we were.

he never blew up at me like that again. the few times i would go over there were tame. though, he was now closed off to me. not friendly like he had been. wouldn’t kiss me. was mean.

after deciding one day that that was it, that i was moving on and completely forgetting about him —

the strangest thing happened. taco bell gave me a mountain dew.

/ / N U M B E R S

i often looked to triple numbers to make sense of the world around me. if i got it on a receipt, or looked at the clock and saw it — it was a reassurance that i was doing something right. however, there was one set of numbers that i saw a little too frequently. numbers i didn’t like, and every time i saw them, which was often, i would get unsettled.

those numbers were 911.

now if you are to comprehend my insistence that this relationship worked out, you need to understand how much i relied on seeing triple numbers, amongst other things, such as deja vu, to reassure me that i was treading smoothly in life.

however i often saw 9:11. i realized it about five or six years ago. i would look at the clock and it would be 9:11, a little more often than normal. then it happened often. sometimes multiple times in the same week. it frightened me.

but with my knight of the summer, i thought it all made sense. i was seeing 9:11 because he used to be a police officer. that was a reason i fell in love with him. i thought it was so sexy.

all those years of seeing 911 constantly, was just the universe telling me that my police officer was waiting for me.

i believed this wholeheartedly. i wouldn’t give up. if he was the one i loved & desired, literally lead to me from a ghost, with the universe telling me for years that he was waiting or me and i just didn’t know it. i thought he was the one. my soul mate. THE soulmate.

but it all came crashing down.

and i decided. after i had had enough, after weeks of trying to get back the man i knew before those two episodes. i finally had it. and made the mental decision to leave him the fuck alone and move on.

then i go to taco bell. i go multiple times a week, often using mobile app to order ahead. i love taco bell and anybody close to me knows that. and they almost never get my order wrong. sometimes they give me a different flavor tea if they are out of dragon paradise, but even that was rare.

so the day after i decide i give up on mr shadow of the summer. taco bell messes up my order, and gives me a large mountain dew.

his favorite soft drink.

you can imagine my fury. he drank mountain dew all the time. at this point, when i saw it, i thought of him. i don’t like the drink. i never drink it, ever. the last time i did i was probably 7 years old. but he drank it all the time.

and so now the day after i decide to give up and move on, taco bell, which never really messes up my order, all of a sudden hands me his favorite drink. i was fucking pissed.

i considered giving it back. going back and saying something. hey assholes, thanks for messing up my order and giving me my now ex’s favorite soft drink ? the day after i decide i no longer want to pursue him ? makes no sense. and i’m thirsty. so i drink the damn mountain dew. and i am so mad about it.

genuinely mad. genuinely mad that he was dangled right in front of me, then snatched away like that. so, i try to do the right thing and stay away from him. AND THEN THE MOUNTAIN DEW. are you kidding me!

well, that’s all i have for now. currently i am not in contact with him, but i have gone over a couple times since mountain dew incident. i drank that whole thing.

but i decided that the spirit who visited me was la santa muerte. i had a candle i bought in chicago, cuz i heard about santa muerte in a tv show. i assume santa muerte was showing me the dangers of the trauma bond that connected me and homeboy. that’s the only sense i can make from this.

also, i saw a guy who looked JUST like his dead ex on grindr. same hair color, facial shape and features. i ask if his name is ____ and he replies yes. so i go off thinking he lied about his ex dying. then the dude does a 180° and says that i have him confused with someone else. so either it’s a strange coincidence that someone is walking around with the same name and face as his ex, or he lied about that being his name. or i don’t even know what.

most people will probably just think i’m crazy. and i guess i am. but i experienced all of these things.

- november 2023

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zodismegalame · 9 months

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15 questions 15 mutuals

got tagged by @pensiveabstraction so ya

were you named after anyone? nope. originally my dad wanted to name me Bruno after his grandfather but my mom found a name that she liked and my dad agreed to it!

when was the last time you cried? fuck, good question. tw // suicide: might've been talking about a friend who committed suicide with the therapy group we shared which happened i'd say around a month or so ago.

do you have kids? nah

do you use sarcasm a lot? kinda. more irony than sarcasm if anything.

what's the first thing you notice about people? i can tell if i'm gonna enjoy a person's presence pretty quickly.

what's your eye color? green, although it can be more grey (or brighter) depending on the weather and lighting, apparently.

scary movies or happy endings? i like both. i enjoy bittersweet endings a shitton also, those that are more open or perhaps melancholic while not being outright "bad". sometimes a really good bad ending can be great though (Little Shop of Horrors, for example).

any special talents? i like to think im good at making music, and i do play 4 instruments (at one point i played the trumpet also but i've since forgotten). i'm also pretty flexible and can put both my feet behind my head like a pretzel. also i'm a pretty fast learning.

where were you born? the capital city of buenos aires. i dont remember the hospital's name.

what are your hobbies? listening to and making music, writing and reading, informing myself about other cultures, political stuff, learning about history, drawing (not very well, but still), graphic design, photography, film and occasionally web development.

have any pets? i have a cat who is a demonic goblin and i had a dog who is an absolute angel sent down from the heavens. the dog's still alive but she lives with my grandma now.

what sports do you play/have you played? i played football (or soccer for you filthy americans), went to swimming classes, dipped my toes into volley and i've always wanted to play tennis.

how tall are you? i think around 171 or 172cm. you do the math for imperial units.

favorite subject in school? history, political science, compsci and math occasionally. history because i like informing myself of past events cus it interests me, political science because i like politics and my political science teacher was a marxist so we vibed hard, compsci cause it was easy and we learned some programming by the end and math sometimes cus i like puzzle solving (certain parts were annoying tho).

dream job? making a living out of music, not through some big label tho. just having my own label (or being signed to an independent one), making a modest amount of money, saving up some cash to build a small studio with analog equipment and maybe owning a record shop to promote stuff i like and having a 2nd hand records system that is pretty rare where i live. helping artists i like get promoted here and conversing with labels overseas to help spread the word of music i enjoy outside of my home turf and being able to import artists i like to help them build an audience here as well.

anyways tagging @lukewarmorangejulius cus i don't have any other moots LOL

#tag game

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diaryofanormalkid · 2 years

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I wanna have

Deep talks with God so bad but I don’t have the privacy to do so. Like I would love to just cry about everything and anything to Him. Fill him in on what’s going on.

What happened with my day. Tell him how I’m feeling about my period, the big move, a guy, the baby christening we had today, my friends/coworkers, my injury, my job, church

How my heart breaks a little every time my sister gets attention from guys but I don’t even though I’m older and they met me at the same time…

It’s just hard having to pretend that I don’t feel hurt, overlooked and wasn’t approached in that way, feeling excluded and feeling unwanted.

God has a funny way of flipping it around though and reminding me that I have never liked/been attracted to a single guy that has approached her, so why the envy?

Or jealousy? It’s not like I’m interested in them. I would’ve rejected them completely if they had approached me themselves. God reminds me that I have high standards.

It’s in this way, that I remember that God has great, even excellent for me. That’s why the wait is so long. My man isn’t like ordinary. And he won’t just be any guy.

He won’t subtly approach me, but he’ll find me and keep me because he’ll know I’m the one for him. So I put my trust in that, that God has that kind of man in mind.

It’ll be clear as day. So obvious and hard for him to resist. It’s funny bc today a family friend who I’ve known for maybe 7 years now, was acknowledging me.

More than normal. More than he usually does anyway. And that’s not to say, he wasn’t just be trying to be friendly. He very well could’ve been.

But he’s never talked to me as much as he had today. So I was taken aback at the sudden shift in energy. It was pretty refreshing considered his personality.

Idk if it was the occasion, the vibes, any attraction to me, loneliness… etc I have no idea. But he actually initiated physical contact (very minimal) and conversation.

We had a bunch of laughs (as a group), and we even broke off a couple times with each other. First, he wanted to keep me company while I walked to the washroom.

That’s usually a girls thing where we go in groups, but no one else had to go and the girls left me to fend for myself. So he volunteered to go with me.

Idk I found that very chivalrous and endearing. Bc he didn’t have to. He also probably just had to go to the washroom himself, but his offer seemed genuine?

Maybe I’m reading too much into things 🙄

So we talked over and I was trying to read the vibe bc we were talking to fill silence but also the convo still ended up flowing really well also.

I found I couldn’t get myself to look at him, so that’s when I realized at some point today the flip switched and that I was attracted to him. It started to make me nervous.

My voice did it’s hush/husky/girly tone by the time we got far away from the others and closer to the washrooms, so I think subconsciously my body was giving in.

I couldn’t believe it, but I was doing it. I was trying to have a “deep” convo with him! Bc I actually wanted to get to know him better and I actually cared.

When it clicked in my head, I didn’t really know how to act after that. Bc I didn’t believe he liked me. Or maybe I saw the signs and was in denial that he could even see me that way.

When I finished in the washroom, he waited outside and we walked back together. And I said to myself, “Ahh, this is so intimate. why would he volunteer to go with me?”

I’m sure that had to look strange to someone. His folks. My mom. She’s very observant. She never mentioned anything to me though, so I have to wonder if she saw.

My grandma too. Although she might not have said it, I know what her mind can get thinking to when it starts to race. Personally, I’m surprised my brother and sister didn’t say anything.

They were amongst the group when he offered to walk to the washrooms with me. Again, I still am exploring the possibility that he really just had to go at the same time as I.

But, all things considered, I really don’t think I’m reading too much into this. Later on, this is where it got interesting. Body. Language. He was being very peacock-y.

He kept speaking Spanish and French to greet people. [note: this is something I do, but he doesn’t know that. I was caught off guard, bc we’re similar in that regard].

Now that I think of it, my mom did say something. She commented how hyper he is, and how she was so shocked to see him this way. And she said it twice.

One thing about my mom, if she ever wants to say something, best believe she’s not gonna say it with her whole chest. She’ll make you work to uncover the message.

She’s a very “read-between-the-lines” kind of speaker. Passive aggressive, even. So when she said that about him, I think I realized her commentary was directed towards me and how I’m like that a lot too.

She used the word “hyper” specifically to describe me a few weeks back even, and my brain put two and two together so now I’m going to see how long she’ll wait to talk to me about him.

I feel like it’s only a matter of time. Because him being hyper wasn’t even the last of it with him and I today. His body language was just very much screaming “I’m into you” ???

Like idk I just felt like he was in my personal space a lot for someone who doesn’t know me very well and barely talks to me even when we’re at the same event.

He was faced towards me a lot. And his arms were outstretched towards me a lot. He kept walking in my line of sight. I felt like we had pretty decent banter.

If I really wanted to and didn’t feel any nerves, I could’ve upped my banter with him specifically. But also we were in a group for majority of it, so that would’ve drawn a lot of attention.

Personally, I just don’t like a lot of attention. Especially that kind. And if the flirting or banter wasn’t going to be initiated by him, then there was no way I was taking the lead.

It was his call, really. And I don’t know if he was being tame bc he was conscious of people around us, but I felt like when we were alone he didn’t hold back as much.

For example, later on, when we lost a round of the card games we were playing, we were both out. So we were standing beside each other and he was super close to me.

At some points, again, he was invading my personal space. But it’s like I was okay with it? I felt comfortable enough not to react to it because it didn’t make me uneasy.

And then bc they were playing and we were kinda just watching, he nudges me to take down balloons with him since we were standing right beside some.

So that lasted a lil bit before I got nervous and forfeited to get some scissors. For whatever reason I just felt like I was being watched, even though everyone was busy.

He kinda like followed me like a puppy dog. He took his time, but he made his way over to me eventually. But I was just doing my own thing taking down balloons by myself .

Then I spent some time going to different families and asking the parents if their kids would like our balloons and candy because we were going to get rid of them anyways.

And my plan worked, because we were getting rid of them so quickly. And like clock work, I see him coming over with some more balloons to help.

I walked up to him to see what his initial reaction would be, to hand them out with me or give them to me. He ended up giving them to me, so I thanked him for bringing them over.

Then I told him about my little plan. He kind of got dragged back to our spot so I did my thing on my own for a bit before my brother came to help pass out balloons to the kids.

When I ran out, I walked over and he was the first person I saw. He high-fived me and congratulated me for handing out the balloons when he saw I didn’t have anymore.

Idk the physical contact again, I found that kind of unnecessary but cute. I wasn’t expecting that! He could’ve just congratulated me??? 🤨🤔

So after that, he helped me put away the thumb tags that were holding down the table cloths to the table. And he helped me find a bottle to put them in, in the mean time.

Since I was saying I couldn’t find the container it was originally in. He just came out of nowhere and gave them to me in the bottle. So I made sure I thanked him again.

Wait. But isn’t that so cute?😩

Like he didn’t need to do that. I said I would find my mom so she could bring me the original container. But he shows up a few moments later with something else.

That means he was actively looking for it the entire time. I really appreciated that bc he had no obligation to do that. I remember he told me a joke and I laughed.

And I actually think he was trying to make me laugh. Like intentionally. I also told him it was smart of him to get out the thumb tacks out of the table with the tool he was using.

So it looked like that was our lil buddy system task. Honestly I’m surprised no one bluntly called out any of our interactions bc I felt like he was alone with me a lot today.

And it wasn’t by my choice. Like he chose to do all that those things. The initiative, I really appreciated and think is what I look for in guys.

Bc for myself, it’s hard enough as it is to not know whether a guy is into me bc I’m not the beauty standard. But then bring my sister into the equation

[note: she is much closer to the beauty standard. Taller. Skinnier. Lighter. More extroverted. So she always fits the criteria after the first glance.]

So this is not to compare myself and say I’m the ugly duckling compared to her. I hope I’m over that phase of my life where I always felt lesser than and not good enough.

I state this to say that I can’t help but wonder when they talk to me, is it because of interest in me alone or do they have the intention of speaking to my sister.

Bc ya know how guys do that thing where they get well acquainted with the friend or family member to get on their good side and find out info, just to get to talk to the girl they actually like?

Yeah, I always suspect they are pulling that on me. Like in the back of their minds, their sights are actually on my sister and not me and I’m being deceived.

And I hate that feeling when I realize. It was her they were after. Not me. Why do they always do that? Just talk to her if you like her…

Anywho, I always can’t help but dwell on whether they’re doing that or not bc I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and the beauty standard. I’m well aware.

And I’m okay with that. I’ve accepted it. It just hurts when it happens so many times over again. I just feel like no one will ever find me more attractive with her in the picture.

Bc I know what guys look for, and I can already see it in my sister. But lack in some areas in myself. It’s a big hit to my confidence.

That’s why today for once I couldn’t believe today it was almost like he chose me for once.

Wow, I sound like a pick me girl here now, don’t I?

I couldn’t help but have the thoughts of my sister creep up in my head though. Bc it’s always been her. They always like her. He even picked her before.

I remember a few years back (maybe 3-ish years) they almost completely ignored me while talking about similar interests regarding film and photography, stuff like that.

Because I didn’t ask, there’s no way of telling if any of their conversation steered into a romantic direction, but in that moment, I just felt plain worthless.

Not even like a human. Just an object by standing and overhearing bits and pieces to their conversation. Trying to stay strong and get through the event bc I was invisible to them.

My mom gave me constant looks throughout that night as if she pitied me for my lack in physicality, but pitied me even more for my lack in personality that couldn’t make up for it.

As if she had nothing to do with the outcome of my genetics. And I won’t turn this around and blame anything on my mother, or even parents, for that matter.

This isn’t a blame game. It’s not a game at all. It’s my life. And I know no one gets to pick the genetics that they get. They just got to work with what they have.

So what now? Maybe I didn’t hit it off with him the first couple times being around him. Yeah, I mean fair enough. I was shyer. More depressed. More introverted back then.

Let alone, not as attractive as I am now. And let’s not take this guy for a shallow person bc all of a sudden he saw my glow up and just now wants to start acknowledging me.

But I can’t lie, it sucks to say it, but this world is pretty messed up in that way. And I can’t overlook how my looks back then (even just 3 years ago) definitely had some play in his limited interaction with me.

But in hindsight, it just sucks that humans are so flawed to excuse and exclude those they don’t deem attractive. It’s like rejection without them having to say it to your face.

I felt so dismissed.

But yeah. Maybe the timing wasn’t right? Ideal? Bc I mean realistically, Britney. Be honest, was I even in the right head space to be thinking of him romantically anyways?

I’ve learned, witnessed, lived and seen a lot over the past 3 years. And majority of it has changed me for the better, I’d like to think. If not, all of it has.

And maybe the version of me he knew 3 years ago wasn’t ready to handle/deal with the version of him back then. But possibly the version of me today is ready and has decided to has align with the version of him today.

So now, idk what this means. Fresh start? Do I even like him? Or do I just like that he seems to finally like me? Accept me? Acknowledge me?

Is he doing the bare minimum?

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sneezefish76 · 2 years

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Medical Doctor Things To Know Before You Get This

The medical professional will certainly be able to answer your concerns and also go over details particular for your kid's age as well as any type of pre-existing problems he or she might have. Take your child to the doctor or to the emergency situation division if he or she presents any of the adhering to signs: Fast or struggled breathing Blue skin color Not consuming alcohol sufficient to preserve hydration Not waking up or connecting Impatience to the point that she or he doesn't wish to be held Additionally get in touch with a doctor if your youngster's influenza signs boost however then return and include a fever and even worse cough.

Your grandma probably bears in mind how the doctor made use of to make home telephone calls, or just how she might enter into the office as well as speak with him (as well as in those days, it most likely was a him) without a visit. But the speed of contemporary treatment has actually altered that dynamic. Today, it's regular for medical care carriers to be pushed to see as several individuals as possible in a day and also for patients to bounce between experts in a team method.

Before the visit starts, create a listing of subjects that you want to address. Present them at the begin of your visit.

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"It's great to say, 'I'm not exactly sure you actually listened to exactly how concerned I have to do with this.'" If you highlight your concerns, your physician can discuss his or her reason for guaranteeing you and also take another look at the problem extra deeply. Work Collaboratively Ultimately, it is essential to collaborate with your physician for the finest outcome.

This is a way to proactively partner with your medical professional to make therapy choices that are most likely to benefit you. It's a win for you as well as a win for your doctor, so do not be worried to ask him or her to aid you recognize your options. " gilbert family medicine of the conversation is claiming to the medical professional, 'I understand that all therapies have dangers as well as advantages.

"If you enter the room anticipating that the medical professional is going to help you, then it sets the tone. The most effective physicians are educated in mindfulness, for circumstances, which tells them to take a min to concentrate on the brand-new person as well as really see the individual in front of them.

If you call after hrs for guidance on a clinical concern that has existed for weeks or months, after that don't anticipate a miracle drug feedback. When my partner's patient calls me after hours since he has actually had 2 months of queasiness, it's unlikely that I can address this on the phone with an individual I do not recognize, when my partner hasn't figured it out after a month of workplace sees as well as analysis testing.

You have a high fever that won't give up A persistent hot fever might be due to any number of ailments, claims Ayesha Cheema, MD, a primary treatment doctor at Baltimore's Mercy Medical. The reason you want to contact your doctor is to rule out "severe things like bacterial infection as well as pneumonia," she claims.

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6. You Can Get Ready For Your Visit If you initially call your doctor or have an online visit, as well as your medical professional advises you to find in, you'll understand it's the right point to do. By speaking with your doctor initially, you'll also have the chance to far better prepare for an office or emergency department check out.

#medical clinic

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mihai-florescu · 3 years

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The fact that my grandmother read the bible to me as a child just to point out the contradictions and inaccuracies so i never end up believing in organized religion and then 10 years later i was living alone on the other side of the world in a very christian part of the US as a bible study assistant, not believing a word I was saying and deeply hating every day... does this qualify as foreshadowing?

#i love telling things from my past because like how the fuck did i end up in that scenario? who knows but i have a document signed by trump #im not happy about it but it's great to bring up in conversations when i need to show that my life used to be interesting #or at least it appeared interesting from an outsider's perspective #this memory was brought to you by my grandma calling to rant about religion again #this time it was about the abuses overlooked by churches #and about the incest in genesis #she had points but shes made them many other times in the past and like #girl it's not me you should be arguing with? i know this already?#i understand the need to vent tho cuz like i guess thats what im doing now too so i cant tell her that the subjects make me uncomfortable #my post

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

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Plum Cobbler

Steve x Barnes!reader, Bucky x platonic!reader

Summary: What happens when Steve confronts the woman who's been sitting outside the compound every Saturday for a month?

Warnings: mentions parental death, some cursing

Word Count: 6315

a/n: This really took on a mind of its own. I was going to make it a series, but I feel like this is the whole story.

Masterlist

Nervous didn't even begin to describe how you were feeling. Sitting in your car, just outside of the entrance gate to the Avenger's compound was never somewhere you thought you'd be. Not until two months ago, when you found your grandmas old scrapbooks.

Of course, you don't know how to get inside. Honestly, you should have seen this coming. Why would just anyone be able to walk up to their door?

"Who are you?" The sudden question startled you, causing you to jump and hit your head on the roof of your car. You turned to look at the source of the voice, shrinking under her watchful gaze.

The one and only Natasha Romanoff was standing outside your car, glaring at you as if she was ready to drop everything to take you out.

"Oh, um. My name is Y/N L/N. I just wanted to talk to Bucky..." Her glare only grew stronger as you revealed why you were there.

"Barnes doesn't talk to strangers." Before you could explain why, she was gone. You watched her walk into the compound until she wasn't in your view anymore.

"Well, that went horribly." You mumbled to yourself. Now what? Should you just sit there until someone else comes out? Will anyone come out?

"So who is she?" Clint asked as soon as Nat got back inside.

"Why is she here?" Sam added on.

"Said her name is Y/N L/N, and she wants to talk to Bucky." Nat rolled her eyes.

"Friday, run a background check on F/N L/N." Tony asked of the AI. "What? You can never be too careful, and people shouldn't know how to get here." He explained given the questioning looks from the rest of the group.

"Y/N L/N, 27, daughter of the deceased Kathleen and Grant L/N. She owns a bookstore in Brooklyn, passed down through her family. No criminal record." Friday responded quickly.

"Sounds normal enough, probably a fan?" Tony suggested, looking around the room.

"A persistent one. She's been here for hours." Steve looked out the window, still seeing your car just outside the gate. "How did she find the entrance?"

Everyone shared similar looks, unsure how a seemingly normal civilian found the gate.

"Excellent question, Capsicle. Friday, got any ideas?" Tony, as usual, turned to the AI for answers.

"Based on GPS data from her car, she drove around upstate New York for eight hours every Saturday for the last 6 weeks until she came across the side road leading to the compound."

"Either she's really good at looking normal, or she's just normal." Nat added on, still slightly suspicious.

"Well, she just left. I guess we're not getting any answers today." Steve said from his position still looking out the window.

You came back every Saturday for a month. You didn't know if anything would come of it, but you'd be damned if you didn't try. After your parent's deaths, you thought you had no family left. Finding out you were related to Bucky gave you a lifeline. Something to cling to when you felt alone.

So far, nobody else had come to talk to you. You didn't even know if Bucky knew you were there for him.

The fifth Saturday, you pulled your car up to the gate at 9 am, sticking to your makeshift schedule of waiting outside for the entire day. They had to at least be curious as to why you kept coming back.

Unfortunately for you, the weather upstate today was not the same as the weather in Brooklyn.

Around 10:30, it started to rain. Just a sprinkling, nothing you couldn't handle.

You listened to music, read, ate the lunch you packed, played games on your phone, anything to pass the time. You weren't going to force your way inside, but you were definitely going to show that you were interested.

Typically, you would leave at 5:30. It gave you enough time to drive home and heat up dinner, plus you had to check in on your cat.

Today, however, was a different story. Around 5:15, it started pouring. Sheets of water were coming down around you, completely cutting off any visibility through the windshield.

You figured you'd just wait out the rain, but when it didn't let up by 6, you were getting nervous.

"She's still here." Steve walked into the kitchen, announcing his news to the room.

"I'm not surprised. It's not exactly peak driving conditions out there." Sam easily responded, glancing out the window.

"Aren't you the least bit curious as to why?" Steve asked again, pushing the same conversation as always.

Nearly everyone in the room rolled their eyes, sick of repeating the same things.

"Look, we figured if we ignored her, she'd eventually stop. Clearly, that might not be working. If you're so curious, feel free to go ask her." Tony gave in, eager to move on from the discussion of you.

Steve contemplated his choices for all of 2 seconds before grabbing an umbrella and walking down the driveway.

You had your head leaned back against the headrest, eyes closed, listening to the rain. Of course you would get stuck here. Why didn't you ever check the weather?

You shrieked when a knock sounded on your passenger side window, not having expected anyone, especially in the rain.

Mr. America himself pointed to the door, gesturing for you to unlock it. You sat up quickly, rushing to hit the unlock button.

He quickly opened the door, shutting his umbrella and lowering himself into the small car.

You were utterly speechless. After your brief encounter with Natasha, you didn't really expect anyone to come talk to you.

Sure, you came back every week, but it was more so to fill the lonely hours you would have normally spent with your parents at the bookstore.

You had other employees to run the shop on Saturdays, allowing you to come here instead.

"Why are you here?" He sounded more curious than anything. Clearly he didn't perceive you as a threat, which was good because you had zero fighting experience.

"To talk to Bucky." Your voice was quiet, unsure how much you should share.

"I know that. Why?" He had fully turned in his seat to look at you, his large frame filling nearly the entire car.

"Well, I found something a few months ago that I thought he should know." You stuttered through your response, mildly intimidated by the man in front of you.

"And that something is?" He questioned further, genuinely curious as to what you want to tell his best friend.

You hesitated, eyes flitting around the car, looking at anything but him. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair before speaking again.

"Look, if you ever want to actually talk to him, you should tell me. Buck's been through hell, he won't just talk to anyone. Especially if he has no reason to."

During your conversation, the rain finally let up. You decided to take that as a sign.

"Can I show you something?" You finally looked him in the eye, nearly forgetting why you were even here at the sight of his bright blue eyes.

"Is it the reason you've been out here every Saturday for over a month?" He joked with you, helping to calm your nerves.

You nodded in response, unsure if you could even speak while still looking into his eyes.

"Then please."

You tore your eyes from his face, throwing the car into reverse and backing out of the spot you've claimed as your own. You turned around, heading back to your apartment in Brooklyn.

"Wha- where are we going?" He's clearly surprised by your actions, but he doesn't seem worried.

"I'm going to show you what I found, and hopefully you'll let me talk to Bucky." You paused for a minute, thinking. "Although, really I guess it should be his choice. Maybe you can just give him a message for me, and if he doesn't want to talk I'll leave you all alone."

The idea of never getting to know Bucky, you're only remaining family, hurts, but it's got to be his decision.

Steve just nods in response, still slightly wary of your reasons for wanting to talk to Bucky.

When you're a few minutes away from your apartment, you decide to give him some context.

"You probably already know a lot about me, but let me explain a few things." He silently nods, encouraging you to continue.

"My parents died three and a half months ago." You immediately felt like crying, but did your best to hold it in. Of course, Steve didn't miss the break in your voice. "It was a car accident. The weather was bad. They lost control of the car. They were both pronounced dead on the scene." You parked the car, turning slightly to look at him.

"They were the only family I've ever had, and the were both just gone." You turned and opened the car door, taking a moment to wipe the tears from your eyes. You gestured for him to follow you, locking the car and heading inside your apartment building.

"We were really close. I spent every Saturday at the bookstore with them." You wiped the tears again as the elevator doors closed.

You didn't chance looking at Steve, knowing you would break down at the look of pity.

"I had to go through the stuff at their house. You know, decide what to bring here, what to put in storage, what to get rid of. I found some old scrapbooks, I think from my great grandma."

You lead him into your apartment, locking the door and immediately heading to the kitchen to feed your cat. After you set down the food, you moved to the couch. You had the scrapbooks on the coffee table, having taken every opportunity to look through them.

"I never knew her. My parents didn't talk about her either, I'm not sure if they knew who she was. Her name was Rebecca." You waited a beat, to see if he would understand. When he remained quiet, you handed him one of the books, open to a page with a picture of Steve, Bucky, and Rebecca. "Rebecca Barnes."

You waited again, letting the information sink in for him. After a few minutes he smiled.

"I remember this day." He looked at you, a wide smile on his face. "It was a few days before Bucky was enrolled. We had a picnic." He continued to reminisce, looking through the other pictures in the scrapbook.

"Maybe it's selfish, maybe he won't want to know me, but when I found out I had more family, I wanted to find him." Again, tears pooled in your eyes. "I, I just don't want to be alone."

Steve's smile faltered as he realized what you've been going through, and how you've been doing it alone.

"Hey, I'm sure he'll want to talk to you." He reached out to place a hand on your arm, trying to comfort you.

"Really?" Your eyes were still watery, but a small smile grew on your face.

"I think so. Bucky was really close with his sister when we were young." This time, Steve's eyes grew watery, memories of his youth playing through his mind.

You couldn't take the sight of him being sad, so you pulled him into a hug. He came willingly, letting you bury your face in his chest. He lowered his head so it was overtop of yours, relishing in the comfort of your hug.

You pulled away a few minutes later, not wanting to overstep, but the feeling of his arms around your waist didn't let you go far.

"Thank you for coming out to my car." You laughed, trying to lighten the mood. His face was so close to yours, you could make out the individual shades of blue in his eyes.

"Thank you for sharing your story with me." He whispered back, not wanting to break the moment.

You're not sure how long you would've stayed like that, but a loud crack of thunder jolted you apart.

"What the-" You mumbled, walking over to the window to look outside. Steve followed close behind you, also curious about the weather.

It was now pouring, lightning and thunder cracking overhead.

"I guess the storm followed us to Brooklyn." He joked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I guess so." You looked at the clock, taking in the late hour.

Steve must've followed your line of sight, because he spoke up. "It's getting late, I should probably go."

You immediately shook your head, your fear of travelling in bad weather shining through. "I can't let you leave when it's like this. It's not safe. You, um, you can stay here tonight. You can sleep in my room. I'll sleep on the couch." You grew more confident as you kept talking.

"I couldn't impose like that." Steve shook his head, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

"Steve, it's not safe to travel when it's raining like that. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you." Your voice grew tighter, trying not to flashback to the day your parents died.

Steve seemed to realize why you were so worried about the weather, ultimately deciding to agree to stay so you wouldn't worry about him.

"Okay, okay. I'll stay here, but you sleep in your bed. I'll be fine on the couch." He refused your offer, not wanting to force you to spend a night on the couch.

"First of all, thank you. Second of all, you are sleeping in the bed. You're like two feet taller than me." You exaggerated your height difference, but you were trying to make a point. "You won't even be able to lay down on the couch. I take naps here all the time, it's super comfortable." You argued back, unwilling to allow Captain America himself sleep on your tiny ass couch.

"You know, I should've expected you to be this stubborn. You spent five weeks waiting outside the compound with no contact. Plus you're related to Bucky" He laughed to himself, slightly shaking his head. "Fine, I'll sleep in the bed."

You smiled victoriously, jumping up from the couch. "Yay! Do you need anything? I have spare toothbrushes under the sink, and I can probably find you some clothes to sleep in. There's some snacks in the kitchen if you get hungry. Oh! And Carrot might try to lay in the bed with you, but I'll try to keep her out here." You rambled, trying to make sure he was comfortable.

"Carrot?" He smiled at your rambling, finding it adorable.

"Yes! Carrot is my cat. She's a cuddler, so consider yourself warned." You paused, eyes growing wide. "You're not allergic to cats are you? I think there's probably cat fur all over my room."

He laughed again. "No, I don't think the super soldier serum left any room for allergies." He quipped.

You smacked a hand to your forehead. "Duh! Anyway, do you need anything?" You asked again, trying to calm your beating heart.

"Some clothes would be great, thank you." The way he smiled at you did nothing to soothe your nerves.

"Okay." You breathed out, finally taking a deep breath. "I'll go grab some, the bathroom is right here if you need it." You pointed it out on your way to your room. "I'm just gonna get changed real quick, and then I'll be back with your clothes."

He nodded again, watching as you turned and walked into what must be your room.

You quickly changed into a t-shirt and sleep shorts. It took a few minutes of searching through boxes, but eventually you found an old pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt for Steve to sleep in.

You made your way out of the bedroom, handing him the clothes.

"Here ya go. Like I said, there are extra toothbrushes under the sink in the bathroom, and don't hesitate to grab anything you need from the kitchen."

He eyed the clothes in his hands, wondering where they came from, but not wanting to ask.

Luckily for him, you could tell what he was wondering. "They were my dad's." A sad smile graced your face. "I- I sleep in them sometimes when I really wish I could talk to him."

"Thank you." Steve turned to go to bed, but changed his mind last minute. He set the clothes down on the couch, pulling you into another hug. "You know, I can tell your related to Buck. He always looks out for people too."

You blushed at the compliment, grateful he couldn't see your face. "Thank you, that really means a lot." You stayed like that until Steve pulled back to talk to you again.

"I can take you back to the compound tomorrow, if you want. Maybe introduce you to Bucky."

"Really?! You don't want to talk to him first? Or double check anything I told you?" You were shocked at how willing he was to introduce you to Bucky.

"I trust you. Plus, I think you should be the one to tell him." Steve didn't say it out loud, but he also thought you and Bucky would be good for each other.

Bucky had Steve to connect his past and present, but another person for him to rely on wouldn't hurt. And you clearly were looking for a family connection.

"I would love to. Thank you!" You hugged him again, although quicker this time. You jumped back, excited to collect everything you wanted to show him. "I have to find all the scrapbooks to show him!"

When you turned to start collecting things, Steve put a hand on your shoulder, essentially preventing you from moving.

"Why don't we get everything together in the morning? It's getting late and you should get some sleep." He understood how emotionally and physically draining it could be to relive a loss like yours.

"You're right. I should sleep." You tried to slow your mind down, but the prospect of meeting Bucky tomorrow filled you with a mix of excitement and nerves. You gathered your extra blankets and pillows, setting up a bed for yourself on the couch while he went into the bathroom.

You were snuggled in bed, ready to sleep when he came back out.

"Goodnight, Steve."

His heart contracted at how adorable you looked buried in blankets on the couch, but he did his best to ignore it. He'd only just met you after all.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

The next morning Steve woke up at 5, per usual. He didn't want to wake you up though, so, despite his natural tendencies to run 10 miles every Sunday morning, he stayed in bed.

That is, until he heard you shuffling around the apartment.

He poked his head out of the room first, trying to verify that you were indeed awake. When he saw you in the kitchen, he fully emerged intent on helping you with whatever you were doing.

"Good morning, you're an early riser?" His question was completely ignored. Granted you couldn't see him yet, but he didn't know why you would be ignoring him.

He made his way closer to you, tapping you on the shoulder to try and get you to interact with him.

You, in a mixture of surprise and fear, turned and threw an egg at him.

He looked at you in shock, while you stared in horror at what you had just done.

You took headphones out of your ears, explaining why you hadn't heard his question.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" You reached toward him with a dish towel, trying to wipe the egg off his (your dad's) shirt. "You just surprised me! I can get you another shirt!"

"It's fine, don't worry-" You ran out of the room anyway, grabbing another shirt of your dad's from the box in your room.

He couldn't help but laugh, oddly relieved that you weren't ignoring him.

When you reentered the kitchen, a shirtless Steve Rogers was washing your dad's shirt in the sink. You froze, taking in the sight of the man before you.

When he turned back around, your eyes took on a mind of their own, soaking in his toned chest and arms. You cleared your throat, shaking yourself out of your stupor to hand him the other shirt.

"Thanks." He smirked, but still blushed slightly before he put it on, ringing out the other shirt before handing it to you. "I didn't want the egg to stick to it since it was your dads, so i rinsed it off..." he trailed off, unsure if it was the right thing to say.

"That's really sweet, thank you. Especially because it was my fault there was even egg on it in the first place." You laughed, trying not to blush with embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it, really. I shouldn't have snuck up on you." He laughed as well, clearing any lingering tension. He took a look around the kitchen, taking in just how much stuff you had out.

"What are you making?" He smiled when you blushed again.

"Oh, I was making plum cobbler... I just, I read online that Bucky likes plums, so I thought I would bring him a cobbler." You blushed again, embarrassed by the admission.

"He does." Steve smiled, completely enamoured with your personality. "Did you want some help?"

"Actually, the cobblers are in the oven already. I was going to make breakfast next, though, so you can help with that." You smiled, noting how easy it was to spend time with him.

"Cobblers? I know Bucky's a super soldier, but one would have been plenty." He joked with you, moving to help scramble some eggs.

"Well, yeah. One is for him, but then I thought the other Avengers might be there and I didn't want to not have enough so I made three."

"You're too cute." The words slipped out before he could even think about what he was saying.

You blushed again, a frequent occurrence it seems when you're with Steve.

You uttered a quick thanks, trying to change the subject. "Do you always get up this early?"

He chuckled again. "Yeah, typically I don't need much sleep. I usually run in the mornings, try to clear my head."

The two of you fell into easy conversation, moving around each other effortlessly to make eggs, sausage, toast, and smoothies for breakfast.

When you finished eating, you collected the scrapbooks Bucky might want to see. You added his mom's wedding ring, the one your mom wore as well, to the box.

"What's that?" Steve pointed to the box, unsure if his assumption was correct.

You pulled out two scrapbooks, pointing to the near identical pictures of Bucky's mom and your mom after having been proposed to.

"My mom always told me her engagement ring was a family heirloom. I think it was his mom's ring too. I thought he might like to have it. As something to remember her by, ya know?"

You got teary eyed again. Thinking about how much he must miss his family combined with how much you miss your own parents was too much to handle.

You finished gathering everything, putting it all in a box to make for easier transportation. You took the cobblers out of the oven, packing them as well.

With a deep breath, you followed Steve back out to your car, ready to talk to Bucky.

"Where the hell is Steve?" Bucky nearly stormed into the kitchen.

"Whoa, calm down tinman. What's up?" Sam replied casually, pouring cereal into a bowl.

"Where is Steve? I was supposed to run with him this morning, but he wasn't in his room when I went to find him. I don't even like running this early. I literally only do it because it's what he prefers."

Sam laughed, enjoying anything that annoys Bucky. "Dude, chill. He probably just forgot you were going with him."

Tony walked into the kitchen as well, trying to tune out the whines coming from Bucky, but failing.

"That's what I though, but he's always back by now." Bucky huffed, annoyed with Sam for laughing.

"Who?" Tony asked, now slightly intrigued.

"Steve. I haven't seen him since yesterday." Bucky replied as he angrily ate an apple.

"Really?" Tony sounded mildly concerned, immediately alerting Sam and confusing Bucky.

"You don't think?" Sam asked, ignoring Bucky for the time being.

"I don't know!" Tony looked bewildered. "Friday, where is Capsicle?"

"Captain Rogers left yesterday evening with Y/N L/N." The AI easily replied.

"Who?" Bucky questioned the room, never having learned your name.

"You know the woman who's been sitting outside every Saturday?" Bucky nodded to Sam, unsure why he was bringing it up. "Well, Steve went to ask her why she was here last night."

"Nat told me she was just some fan, wanted to see you all." Bucky furrowed his brow, thinking over the new information on Steve's wearabouts.

"Well, yeah that's what we thought. Look, she said she wanted to talk to you specifically." Sam explained, ignoring the pointed glare from Tony.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Bucky rose from his chair, annoyed at everyone now. "Now she's got Steve?"

"Relax, Steve can handle himself. She cleared her background check. We really don't have any reason to believe he's in danger." Tony's words were more to convince himself than anyone else. He's the one who said Cap should go check it out if he was so curious.

"Steve's too trusting. What if it was a trap?" Bucky questioned, glaring daggers at the other two men.

Before they could respond, Friday chimed in with more information.

"Captain Rogers just entered the elevator from the parking garage."

"See, he's fine." Tony glared back at Bucky, secretly relieved that Steve was fine.

Bucky just rolled his eyes before leaving, heading for the elevators to yell at Steve for ditching him this morning.

When the elevator doors opened, however, Steve was not alone.

"Hey, punk, why'd you ditch me- Oh. Who are you?" Bucky eyed you suspiciously, looking between you and Steve.

Before Bucky interrupted, Steve was trying to reassure you that everything would work out. He had a hand on your back, rubbing up and down to soothe your nerves.

His other arm was occupied by the box of scrapbooks, or else he probably would have hugged you again.

You were holding a large sheet pan, three pie dishes sitting on top.

Steve was blushing, a surefire sign Bucky had seen something he wasn't supposed to.

"Oh, um. Hi. My name is Y/N L/N." You froze, not thinking you would have to see him so soon. You could see the family resemblance between him, your great grandma, and your mom.

"The car girl." He nodded, trying to piece together the events of last night.

"Yep, that's me." You laughed nervously, unsure of what he already knew.

"Buck, do me a favor? Let us out of the elevator." Steve eyed him, mildly annoyed with the ambush.

Bucky moved to the side, allowing you and Steve to exit the elevator. You followed Steve down the hall to the kitchen, where you put the cobblers on the counter.

Sam and Tony were still there, eating various foods.

"Well, hello there." Tony greeted when he spotted you, intrigued by the development. He looked at Steve for an explanation.

"Y/N made plum cobbler." Steve said instead, moving his hand back to the small of your back.

Bucky's eyes lit up at the mention of plums, enough to momentarily distract him from Steve's actions.

"Oh, right!" You took a cobbler out of the dish, moving toward Bucky. "This one's for you, because I read that you liked plums." You handed him the dish, quickly moving back to the others. "I also made a peach and an apple for everyone else." You smiled at Tony and Sam, unknowingly leaning slightly into Steve.

"Why does he get a special cobbler?" Sam whined, eagerly reaching for the other dishes.

Suddenly, all eyes were on you. Well, except Sam's who were on the peach cobbler.

"Oh, um, well, I was hoping I could talk to you." You looked at Bucky nervously, unsure of how he would respond.

"Anyone who bakes me a plum cobbler can talk to me, Doll." Natasha chose that exact moment to enter the room.

"Who made plum cobbler?" She looked around the room, eyes narrowing in your direction. "How did you get in here?"

"I brought her." Steve smiled at you before walking over to Natasha. He whispered in her ear, just loud enough for her to hear, but nobody else. "She's not a threat to your relationship, trust me."

Nat nodded her head, trusting Steve, although not for the reasons he thought. She could clearly see the blonde's affinity for you.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Bucky asked between bites of cobbler.

"It's really a private conversation." Steve answered for you, seeing how unsure of yourself you were.

"Then why do you know, punk?" Bucky countered.

"Well, I had to tell someone so I could finally talk to you. Steve's the one who asked." You smiled at Steve again, trying to convey how grateful you were with just a look.

Steve smiled back at you, while everyone in else just shared a knowing look.

Eventually, Steve cleared his throat. "Buck, can you just come with us?"

Bucky nodded, moving to follow Steve while still eating the cobbler. You followed the two of them as well, growing more nervous with each step.

Steve lead you to his room, placing the box of scrapbooks on the bed.

"Do you want me to stay?" Steve looked to you for an answer.

You took a deep breath, in all honestly you would love for him to stay, but you think you should probably just talk to Bucky first.

"No, that's okay. Come back in like, 30 minutes?" You scrunched up your face, unsure if 30 minutes was long enough, but knowing you would need the deadline if you were ever going to explain it all to Bucky.

Steve nodded, squeezing your shoulder as he passed you to leave the room.

"Um," you turned to Bucky, trying to think of where to start. "I don't know what you already know about me, but-"

"Nothing really. Except that you make a delicious plum cobbler." He smiled, helping to ease your nerves. Food really was the way to this man's heart.

"Oh, I guess I'll start where I started when I told Steve." You smiled at the mention of his name, unaware of your own actions. But Bucky noticed.

"My parents died a few months ago." Bucky's eyes went wide, trying to think of what this could have to do with him. "Um, it was a car accident. They both died on the scene." You took a deep breath, trying to push through the sad parts.

"I had to clean out their house, and I found some scrapbooks that lead me to you." You shifted closer to the bed, looking through the scrapbooks you brought.

You pulled out the one with the first picture you showed Steve, opening it and gesturing for Bucky to take it.

He set the cobbler on Steve's nightstand, cautiously reaching for the book. He looked at the picture for a long time before saying anything. And when he did talk, it was a whispered "Becca..."

He ran his fingers over the picture slowly, just staring. A few minutes later, he eagerly flipped the page. He spent a good 10 minutes just looking through all the books you handed him.

"Where did you get these?" He questioned, although not accusingly.

"I found them in my parents house. They were with a bunch of my grandma's stuff that she had from her mom." You wanted to ease him into it.

"So your great grandma..." He trailed off, disbelief clear across his face.

"Was Rebecca Barnes." You finished the sentence for him, nerves clear in your voice.

You weren't sure what to say next, so you waited for him to make the next move.

"So you're my... great-grand niece?" You nodded at his question, still unsure if he was happy with the news. "God, that makes me feel old."

You nearly cackled, surprised by the joke. He smiled when you laughed, glad to have cleared some of the tension.

"Why did you want to find me?" He questioned, the mood turning more serious again.

"Well, I was really close to my parents. They were the only family I had. When I found out you are family too, I just... I knew I needed to at least tell you." You shrugged at the end, unsure if you really answered his question.

"You wanted to tell me so badly that you sat outside the compound every Saturday for five weeks even after being ignored?" He was in shock that anyone would spend that much time and effort just to talk to him. You started panicking immediately.

"I'm so sorry if you didn't want to know! It was selfish of me to force this on you. I can go, if you want. You don't have to talk to me." You started questioning everything. You moved to put the books back in the box when he stopped you.

"Oh, um. I'm sorry, you can keep those. If you want!" Tears were threatening to fall down your cheeks when you remembered the ring. You froze with your hand in the box, not knowing if you'd want to part with it knowing you'd never see Bucky again.

"Y/N..." Something in the way he said your name made you look at him. "I- I'm glad you told me. Really glad. I, uh, I never thought I would have family, well besides Steve. You know what I mean." He ran a hand through his hair, and you noticed the tears in his eyes.

"I don't want you to go. It's just hard for me..." he paused, trying to figure out his emotions. "It's hard to believe that someone would care about me that much."

"Bucky, I don't know you." He frowned at your statement. "But, I would love to get to know you." You smiled at him, trying to be reassuring.

"I'm not so sure you would." His face was hard, staring at the ground.

"Bucky, you aren't a bad person. I mean, sure you've done bad things, but it wasn't your choice. You were forced to do those things. You can't let yourself be defined by them. You're here aren't you?"

"Here?" He questioned.

"Working with the Avengers, I mean. You go on missions to help save people. That's your choice. That's who you are. I would be honored to get to know that person."

You smiled, waiting for him to say something.

"Are you sure?" He still looked unsure.

"God, maybe I get my stubbornness from you." You both laughed at that. "I am 100% sure."

"Wow." He shook his head, still in shock.

A knock sounded on the door before Steve came back in. "Is now a good time?" He asked, still standing in the doorway.

You nodded appreciatively. "Thank you." You pulled him into a hug, needing the emotional support.

"Of course. I'm happy I could help." He rubbed your back, reciprocating the hug. "Did you give him the ring yet?" He asked when you took a step back.

You shook your head, reaching into the box for the last item. "I, um, I thought you might want this." You handed him the box, nerves peaking through again.

He opened it, a soft smile on his face when he recognized it. "My mom's engagement ring."

You smiled, happy that he recognized it. "It was my mom's as well."

The two of you stared a the ring for awhile, reminiscing on time spent with your parents.

Eventually, Bucky picked the cobbler back up, not wanting to let it go to waste.

Steve couldn't help but roll his eyes at his friend. "Wow, jerk. You're just gonna go back to eating."

"Yes, punk. My great-grand niece made me a plum cobbler, and I tend to fully enjoy it."

"Great-grand niece. Ha, that makes you sound so old."

It was fun for you to see the two interacting like this, especially after the emotional hurdles you just ran.

"It's fine, Stevie. Let him enjoy the cobbler." Your face went red, not having meant to use the nickname.

"Yeah Stevie, let me enjoy the cobbler." Bucky couldn't help but poke fun, knowing there was an unspoken attraction between the two of you.

Somehow your face got even redder. Steve just rolled his eyes.

"Fine, eat your cobbler. Only because I had some of the apple one and it was delicious. It would be a shame to waste any."

You smiled at the compliment, embarrassment subsiding a bit. Steve sat down on the bed between you and Bucky, eager to ask his friend about some of the pictures. Steve put his arm around you, squeezing your shoulder as he spoke to Bucky.

You felt your eyes growing heavy, exhausted since your nerves kept you up most of the night. You rested your head on Steve's shoulder, soaking in his warmth as you cuddled closer.

Steve just rubbed your arm like it was the most natural thing in the world. Bucky narrowed his eyes at the interaction, realization dawning on his face.

"Oh my god. My best friend likes my great-grand niece. And she likes him." He said it so matter of fact, the two of you didn't bother denying it. You just smiled, and cuddled closer together.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x natasha #bucky barnes x natasha romanoff #tony stark #sam wilson #steve rogers #bucky barnes #marvel fic #clint barton #Bucky Barnes x platonic!reader

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yutahoes · 2 years

Text

New Year’s Day

pairing: pretend boyfriend! local! Yuta Nakamoto x tourist! Reader word count: 4.6k words genre: fluff, tourist au, fake relationship au summary: A plot twist. You needed a plot twist in your sad, boring life. warnings: parent’s divorce, kissing

This is part of the nuevo comienzo collab by @tenderfrailty

I went batshit crazy in writing this piece and I want to thank the wonderful host of the collab for the patience and encouragement. I had fun writing this fic. This might be the first fic for a long time that I’m not even scared to post. 😄 Please check the other fics for the collab.

The past year had brought nothing to you but pain: the divorce of your parents, getting your heart broken, and losing the motivation that you had all along. It was a bad year. Just bad, not terrible.

With the coming of the New Year, you just wanted to breathe some fresh air. Maybe a change in scenery. A plot twist. You needed a plot twist in your sad, boring life.

Your dad is spending the holidays with his new girlfriend and although you’re welcome to join him, you don’t want to ruin it for them. Your mom is staying in your grandma’s house and asked you to join her but you just wanted to stay away from everything.

Browsing for great New Year destinations, you stumbled into the country of Japan. It looks festive yet peaceful at the same time. Maybe you’ll find what you were looking for in this country.

With your backpack and passport, you made the biggest decision of your year. To spend the New Year’s day in Japan.

You didn’t know anything about the country. You can’t even speak basic Japanese to save your life. But it was a long shot and you’re thankful that you decided to do what you think is the best decision that you did this year. From the looks of it, it is possible to tour the place alone. And you needed someone to at least come with you so you can enjoy it fully.

The first stupid mistake. You should have researched fully about the country first. The second stupid mistake. You should have invited a friend to come with you. Then why are you already committing to the third mistake by signing up to a ‘Rent-a-Boyfriend’ instead of a tour guide?

It was stupid. It was crazy. You suddenly wished that no ‘boyfriend’ would come. That they’re all busy because it was the holiday. That they’re spending the time with their family or their ‘girlfriend’.

But that hope was all erased when a guy came inside the coffee shop where you said you were. He has red hair and sporting a black jacket. His features looked like an anime character came to life. No, it can’t be.

He can’t be your ‘boyfriend’, right?

The man in front of you smiled and you almost swoon at his attractiveness. “Hi, I’m Yuta Nakamoto.” he introduced that made you wide-eyed. He’s speaking the same language as you. “You must be Y/N.” Again, he smiled.

You nodded then asked him to sit down, totally fumbling on your words. He’s too good to be true. Are you dreaming? “Hi.” you greeted once again, actually awkward. What should you tell him? Will he understand you?

“Please don’t be awkward with me. Think of me as your boyfriend, that’s my job.” Of course. You only nodded, amazed at how fluent he speak your language. “How long have you been here in Japan?” he asked, creating conversation with you. He’s actually good.

“I just landed.” He looked surprised and you laughed. “I just wanted to see fireworks here.”

The guy smiled. “Well, it’s almost twelve. Do you want to go somewhere first?” You glanced at your heavy backpack. Touring is not a problem but your things wouldn’t allow you to walk too far. You should have rented a hotel room or left your things somewhere. “Don’t worry. I’ll carry it for you.”

You were apologetic. It’s been almost an hour since you were walking around the streets of the city but he was still carrying your backpack as if it was nothing, engaging you in conversations about your life. “Are you alright?” you asked while standing in front of the legendary Shibuya crossing.

He nodded, smiling at you. “Don’t worry about me. Just enjoy your trip here in Japan.” A grateful smile was all you can give him.

It was crowded in Tokyo. Foreigners flock the street and you were just startled whenever someone would ask you to dance with them. Yuta would laugh but is quick enough to take pictures of you. He let you go have fun, even translating to some locals that you’re a tourist and making sure that you’re comfortable. Like a real boyfriend.

You smiled at the thought. Now that you think about it, it isn’t a mistake to rent a boyfriend.

They started counting down for the change of the year and you finally realized how Japan is one of the first countries to experience the New Year. Everyone started greeting one another, sparklers at hand. You were startled when the couple in front of you started kissing so you stepped back but was held by Yuta. “Are you alright?” he asked, face just centimeters away from you. Should you kiss?

“Yeah,” you answered, moving away from him while shaking your head. What a stupid thought. The fireworks shoot up in the sky and you were amazed that despite the large buildings, the light attraction still looks magical. This is everything you wished for when you decided to visit Japan. So pretty. So magical. It’s perfect.

You felt a hand slip on yours and you almost shouted if not for the realization that it was Yuta. “The crowd is moving. I don’t want to lose you.” You smiled, thanking him for the consideration. His hands were cold but it was comforting. An idea that you weren’t alone this New Year’s Day. All thanks to Yuta.

He asked you if you wanted to try authentic sushi and you were surprised at the fact that there’s still an open shop this late. The conveyor belt full of plates of sushi amused you, making the guy beside you smile. While eating, Yuta shared that his parents are out of the country that’s why he’s here in Tokyo for the New Year. “What about friends?” He shook his head, saying that they’re all busy. “A girlfriend?”

He held your hair, removing the sauce stuck on the strand then tucked it behind your ear. “I wouldn’t be here if I had a girlfriend.” What? With his looks? He can even make a girl cry with his lovely smile. You raised an eyebrow. Is he gay? But you shrugged. What is it to you anyway? You were just thankful that he’s here and showing you the city. Might as well make it count.

Maybe this is the plot twist you were looking for.

He paid for the food that made you argue with him. In the end, you didn’t win and just gave him a scarf that was in your backpack. You decided to pack it just in case the weather is chilly and maybe Yuta can make use of it.

Surprise can be seen in his features when you asked him to move closer and you put a scarf around his neck "What is this for?" You had to admit that the dark blue scarf compliments his jacket and shirt. "Think of it as a holiday gift." You claimed before grinning, continuing your sentence. "From your girlfriend." The smile Yuta has on his face makes you swoon. God! How lucky is his real girlfriend to see his face like this?

"You trust me, right?" You nodded, startled at his question. Of course, you do. He's the only person who understands you here. The only person who you are with this New Year's Eve. He held your hand again. But this time, the warmth of his skin contrasted the cold Holiday breeze. "Let's run. It's late."

Where are you going? And why are you running? Isn't it hard for him to carry your heavy backpack? But you trust him. He knows the city more than you do. You have to trust him.

You both stopped in front of a tall building, him whispering that he hope you’re not scared of heights. He brought tickets and you marveled at how the city looked so lively although it’s early in the morning. There are some people, mostly couples, who had their hands linked the same way as yours and Yuta’s are. “New Year’s celebration isn’t complete if you didn’t see the first sunrise of the year.” He explained. So that’s why you’re here.

It was an observatory, overlooking the city and obviously specified for events like these. By the first sign of light by the horizon, your eyes sparkle in delight. The first sunrise of the New Year. You never paid attention to how pretty nature is but you’re glad you can witness it now. “It means new beginnings,” Yuta whispered, eyes focused on the growing light in front of the two of you. “Happy New Year, Y/N.”

You smiled, greeting him the same words. You’re sure that the whole year would be kinder to you. How magical can Japan be? It’s really one of a kind. And you didn’t regret that you spend New Year’s Day here alone.

What you regret, however, is just staying hours in the country and coming back immediately. Yuta also felt your regret and kept on telling you that you have to come back for vacation in Japan while helping you look for your airport terminal. He gave you a hug and you gave him a five-star rating on the app.

Well, that was the nicest New Year’s Day you have had in your life.

—--

“New Year Traditions,” your editor claimed telling you the last-minute plan that she wants for the magazine feature. It’s the end of the year, Holiday plans should be made and you’re still here stuck in a winter meeting with your boss. “How about Japan? You liked it there. New Year Traditions in Japan.” she said in a dreamy voice before smiling, “That will be a good cover story, Y/N.”

It was a company decision, a company work. You cannot call it vacation even if it meant being in Japan for three days, longer than what you did the last time. It’s funny how you were just here exactly a year ago. You have to admit that sometimes you would drift to thoughts of going to Japan and maybe meet Yuta again. But then it is impossible. You’ve checked. He’s not in the same app as the one you used before. There’s no way to see him again.

So with the limited Japanese you have and tons of research that you did, you decided to feature the city of Osaka. It’s almost the same as Tokyo but vaguely different. How can Japan be this amazing?

To start your day, you head to a small coffee shop near your hotel and decide to get a light breakfast to kickstart your day. The conversation, in your broken Japanese, with the waiter was cut off when a familiar face can be seen approaching you. Aren’t you thinking about him earlier? In surprise, you stood up to hug him, actually happy that you saw him here. “What are you doing here?”

So you told him, about the magazine feature you’re supposed to do. “The last year had been really good to me. I think it’s not bad to wish the same for the coming year.” Yuta smiled, nodding at that.

“Then, do you want me to show you around?” You immediately shook your head, explaining that he doesn’t have to if he’s busy. Maybe you’ll just find your way around the area. “Come on, Y/N, I’m an Osaka native and my family would be happy to meet you.” Your eyes widened at the sentence. Meet his family?

Of course, it isn’t what you imagined it to be. But then, why are you expecting so much? He introduced you as a friend he met in Tokyo and his family is very welcoming. With your basic conversation skills, you made small talks with his grandparents and discovered a lot more about their traditions. While watching their large family make dumplings, you realized how much you missed your parents. It would be nice to see them together again.

“We’re going to have soba tomorrow night then light fireworks and sparklers,” Yuta explained after walking you to your hotel. You spend the whole day in their place, getting to know his cousins who taught you Japanese words. It was a nice experience, hanging out with a Japanese family. They seemed so close. “Then we’re going to hike the mountain to watch the sunrise.” That is so cool, you thought. Seeing the beauty of the first sunrise on top of the mountain? Isn’t it more magical that way? “You should join us.”

“Can I?” It honestly was an opportunity you don’t want to regret. He nodded, smiling once again. The smile that makes you swoon over him. “You sold me with soba.” Yuta chuckled, informing that he’ll pick you up in the morning so you could still explore the town.

That was how you found yourself lighting some sparklers while playing with Yuta’s cousins after eating the best soba you had in your whole life. It’s almost twelve and his uncles are already preparing the small fireworks that they’ll light up. His teenage cousins started counting down the seconds left before New Year and the younger started counting with them. It was exciting. How loud the house is, how warm everyone is.

By twelve, the elder with partners started kissing before lighting the fireworks. By the side of the house, you spotted his teenage cousin kissing her boyfriend. Is kissing required when the New Year comes? Even in Western countries, they do that. Maybe there’s a Japanese tradition to that.

“Kissing?” Yuta asked then laughed. “It’s probably a Western influence but they said a New Year’s Kiss means giving good luck wishes to your partner into the next year.” You nodded, that’s plausible. “Y/N, are you ready?” You only stared in surprise. Ready for what? To kiss? Why?

“We have to hike the mountain and be there before six.” A heavy breath escaped your lungs as you felt your cheeks warm at the thought that passed in your head. Why the hell did you think that he wants to kiss you? How stupid. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” You immediately said before standing up. “Let’s hike the mountain.”

The mountain isn’t that steep, it even has steps that made it easy to hike. But the dew makes the grass slippery that you lost count of how many times you almost slip. Luckily, Yuta was helping you up. He didn’t let go of your hand while hiking the mountain. His cold hand made you shiver at first but it grew comfortable as you reached the peak of the mountain.

It’s still a little dark. The only light illuminating you is the moon and the twinkling stars yet they were in a rush to place the blanket and asked you to sit down, facing the east. Slowly, the sunrise lights peeked and everything got colored slowly. From pitch black to the green land of hills and mountains.

It was so beautiful. A magnificent scenery that left you in awe. It’s even better than the sunrise you saw last year. This is more breathtaking. You felt as if you can die peacefully at its calmness. “Hey Y/N, breathe.” Yuta teased, tucking a lose strand of your hair behind your ear, that made you laugh. From your peripheral vision, you can notice how the couples were cuddling at each other.

First, the kissing. Now, the cuddling? Is it required to have a partner during New Year’s Day?

“When partners watch the first sunrise of the year together, it will mean that they’ll stay for a long time.” You only smiled at Yuta’s explanation of your question.

You have been wondering for a long time why couples seemed to like the New Year, now you just had the answer to everything. It really is magical. The warm sunrise color, the promise of the new beginning. How can a simple change of the year, a simple sunrise, make everything so wondrous?

“Y/N, you should come with us to the temple tomorrow. Let’s get our luck read.” And you never agreed to anything that fast in your life.

—----

You believed it was the good luck that you got in the temple which made your year better. The magazine feature is a success and every article you write after is picking popularity. The relationship with your parents is better now, they’re already talking to each other and acting civil despite their past.

The reason why you’re here in Japan for your third New Year’s Eve. In your defense, it was the first country in your mind when they asked where you want to spend your vacation. Your father immediately booked the tickets for him and his wife, your mom and her boyfriend, and you.

It was still awkward with your mom’s partner and your father’s new partner but this is your idea. And they seemed okay with it. You have to act as a guide for them. Now, you hoped someone who knew Japan well could help you. Someone like Yuta.

Where should you bring them? Maybe a seaside. You remember Yuta telling you that the sunrise looks better at the seaside. That majestic imagery didn’t leave your mind and you wanted to experience it so bad. So when you told your mom, she quickly booked an onsen house in Hokkaido that made you excited. It was a different but familiar experience.

Once you arrived at the resort, you were startled at the familiar person by the reception. The person you were thinking of. Yuta. What is he doing here? “My aunt owns the onsen,” he explained while checking your family in. “The adults are on a cruise so no family gathering this year.” You chuckled while he handed you the keys. “Welcome to Japan, once again, Y/N.”

You were grinning while returning to your family who only stared at you with a knowing gaze. “That boy is smiling at you, sweetheart.” your mom teased and you shook your head, handing her the key for her room. “He has a really nice smile.” Your stepmom continued making your mom laugh.

“Getting chummy with that boy, princess?” Your dad asked and you sighed. “You’ll have pretty babies.” Your mom’s boyfriend claimed that only made you giggle. Seriously, why are they ganging up on you?

Even during dinner when Yuta placed an extra bowl of soup in front of you, the adults around you just can’t stop their teasing. You were just thankful that Yuta is dear enough to converse with them, even touring them the next day while you enjoy the onsen bath. It was weird how you always meet when you’re in Japan. Three times? Maybe it’s destiny.

You shook your head. That’s impossible.

For the third time, you were experiencing the New Year’s Countdown in Japan. But this time, you were with your family and the person they both love. This is more meaningful than those times that you’re alone.

On your right, you saw your dad kissing his wife. Then on the left is your mom and his boyfriend. Seriously, what’s with New Year’s and you, being surrounded by couples?

You stepped back and almost tumble because of a rock when Yuta held you, catching you in his arms. Immediately, you stood up and apologize for your clumsiness but he only shook his head and smiled at you. “Happy New Year, Y/N.”

“Happy New Year, Yuta!” When you return to your family, they were all smiling teasingly. A sigh escaped your lips. That’s just great!

You wanted to watch the first sunset of the year but both your parents are already asleep so you just settled in your room and gave up. Maybe you cannot watch it this year. It’s fine. You can skip it anyway. You settled in to sleep when you heard a knock on the door followed by Yuta’s voice asking if you were already asleep. “I’m not.” You answered quietly and you swear, you can hear the smile on his face. “I’ll meet you outside. Wear something warm, Y/N.” You almost squealed in delight. A chance to see the sunrise.

The morning breeze is cold, maybe because it’s still winter time. The sound of the waves made you giddy as Yuta placed a blanket on the sand for you to sit in, the same way you did back in the mountain. It was the same feeling. The same excitement. The same anticipation. It really is sweeter the third time around.

Can you feel this the fourth time? Will you come back to Japan next year?

A heavy breath escaped your lips. There’s no reason to come back to Japan. Three years is enough. “Why?” You heard Yuta ask which made you look at him. “You’re sighing.”

You pulled your legs near you to keep you warm. “I’m thinking if I should go back next year.” You chuckled at how shallow the problem is. “I think I experienced everything that I should experience here in Japan.”

“What’s wrong with coming back and creating new experiences?” Yuta asked, staring at you. “Besides, you haven’t experienced everything yet.” He diverted his gaze on the waves in front of you as if waiting for the sunrise already. “You haven’t been to the amusement park. You haven’t experienced spring and cherry blossoms.” His gaze returned to you and even if it is dark, you can sense the warmth in his eyes. “You haven’t fallen in love yet.”

You stifled a laugh at that. Speaking of falling in love, you suddenly remembered something. “Wait, what happened to that luck reading of yours? It said that you’ll find love right?”

He chuckled, nodding. “I have been getting the same reading for three years in the row.” You gasped. Is it? Then maybe it’s not true. But yours definitely came true. “I did find love but I can’t really keep it.” Wait, that’s just tragic. And it only means that Yuta is indeed in love. Maybe that’s why he’s a little happier this year than in the past years.

“You cannot keep it? Do your parents not like her?”

Yuta shook his head, smiling to himself. “They love her. They’ve been telling me to confess and not miss the chance but I can’t let her go.” You stared at him in confusion. “She lives in a different country and I only get to see her once a year.” He really is in love. You heard him breathe heavily before whispering, “Every New Year’s Day to be exact.”

You whipped your head in his direction in surprise. Are you hearing things? It isn’t about you, right? “Y/N, you have no idea how happy I am to see you this year. I thought I wouldn’t get to see you again.” He smiled, tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear. “I can’t stop thinking about you ever since the first time we met. I wanted to go to where you are but I don’t want to fail in looking for you so I held on to this hope that I’m going to see you again.”

Your breathing hitched on your throat at the sudden confession. The cold breeze suddenly sent you warmth, comforting you. “The first time I met you is an experience. The second time is a coincidence. The third…” he trailed off, thumb grazing on your cheek. “Is just destiny doing its part.”

It really is destiny. Meeting him thrice must be what’s really meant to be.

“I’m a very traditional Japanese man so I believe in romance shits like this.” You laughed. “Now, let me just do my part.” Yuta leaned in. His warm breath tickled your lips that made you smile. You closed your eyes the moment his lips met yours. The soft lips that would always smile at you. The beating of your heart got louder in your ears as the light slowly illuminated the darkness you’re seeing.

The sunrise.

You were breathing hard when he let go of your lips. The New Year kiss you’ve been curious about. It really is magical. “The sun has risen,” Yuta whispered and you nodded, watching the light give color to the clear sea waves.

“I missed it. Maybe I should return to Japan next year.” Yuta smiled, pulling you close by the waist. You lay your head on his shoulder, whispering that he’ll wait for you. “Let’s make this work, Yuta.”

He brushed your hair to the side before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. “We’ll make it work, Y/N.”

—---

New Year’s Day, Present

“Love,” you heard someone call that made you turn to the person coming up on the roof. It’s been two years since you transferred to Japan and so far, the roof is your favorite place in your small house. “It’s cold. Can’t you just watch the sunrise downstairs?” Yuta asked, smiling at you.

You grinned, shaking your head. It’s a New Year’s Day tradition for you. To watch the first sunrise. Your boyfriend calls it as you being overly Japanese with the tradition but you would shrug him off. It’s pretty and it gives you so much hope for the coming year.

“You just came from sickness though,” he said worryingly while sitting beside you. He removed his jacket to wear on you and placed a scarf around your neck, a familiar scarf that made you smile. “It’s been so long since I last saw this,” you claimed, holding the dark blue scarf giddily.

Yuta nodded. “I was so scared that you would hear my heart beating loud that time.” That time? But that was years ago. The first time you met each other. “Wow, you really do have a huge crush on me.”

“I did and I still do.” You prevented yourself from smiling too much. When Yuta says things like this, you would just feel like melting into a puddle. How is he so good in his words? “I feel bad that I haven’t gotten you anything yet.” His voice turned into a whisper that startled you.

But he already gave you a lot. The magnificent view. The tradition. The experience of living in Japan. Loving you. He had given you so much already.

Your boyfriend breathed heavily and you were transported at the memory on the seaside. When he confessed to you. He’s the same. What is he so nervous about? “Thank you for staying with me in Japan.” It was a decision you didn’t regret. Everything is better in your life when you chose to stay here with him. “But I know that wherever you are, I’ll always choose to be with you.” You smiled when he tucked your hair behind your ear. The same action he always does.

“New Year had been very special for us,” You nodded, not knowing where he’s going with this. But he’s not wrong. Your first meeting. First time meeting his family. First time meeting your family. His confession. Asking you to move with him. “I want to make this day more special.”

He took a velvet box from his pocket, opening it to reveal a ring inside. “Will you please marry me, Y/N?” The tears fell before you could stop them, nodding at his question. Of course, you’ll marry him. Is that even a question? “This is my promise to be with you for as long as I breathe,” he mumbled, voice strained as if he was about to cry, while wearing the ring on your finger. “I love you, Y/N.” Those words. You still gush hearing those words from him even if he kept saying them to you.

It means more special now. More meaningful. “I love you, Yuta.”

The warm light of the rising sun illuminated the warmth of the moment. A magical feeling. Like always.

If the rising sun meant new beginnings, you wouldn’t mind spending every rising of the sun with Yuta.

#yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta fluff #yuta nakamoto fluff #nakamoto yuta fluff #nuevo comienzo #yuta scenario #yuta nakamoto scenario #nakamoto yuta scenario

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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

Text

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~chapter five rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!reader

Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Series Masterlist

“Why are you in such a mood?” Ned asked his best friend as they walked to their college campus. Peter had been grumpy all morning and Ned was quick to notice. He usually showed up at Ned’s door exhausted but eager to share the adventures from the night before, but he seemed defeated today.

“I got my ass beat last night.” Peter grumbled as he shouldered his backpack.

“By who?” Ned wondered.

“I don’t even know.” Peter sighed. “I think it was some kind of alien.”

“What’d it look like?” Ned asked. It wasn’t uncommon for Ned to ask a million questions after being told something Spider-Man related. After all, he was the guy in the chair.

“Like nothing I’ve ever seen before.” Peter said swallowed and tried to push the previous night from his mind. He’d rather focus on this morning, and the moment he had shared with you. Peter felt such a strong connection to you, and he would’ve stayed on that rooftop all day if he could.

“Describe it to me.” Ned pleaded, tearing Peter from his thoughts.

“I don’t know. It was like eight feet tall, black, and bald. And it was super veiny.” Peter grimaced while Ned’s eyes widened.

“Oh my God. You fought Shaquille O’Neal?” Ned gasped.

“Keep your voice down. I did not fight Shaquille O’Neal.” Peter whispered harshly. Ned always seemed one step away from blowing Peters cover. Peter gave bashful smiles to the passing students who gave him weird looks upon hearing Ned’s words.

“Terry Crews?” Ned continued. Peter rolled his eyes at his best friend and starting walking to class.

“No. This is serious.” Peter said, his voice heavy with annoyance.

“I know it’s serious. You got beat up by The Rock.” Ned remarked. Peter fidgeted with the strings on his backpack, still bothered knowing he was beaten so easily by Venom.

“The Rock is Samoan, not black.” Peter corrected.

“I know. But I heard “bald” and I just automatically envisioned The Rock.” Ned defended.

“There’s another thing. It had this huge, gaping mouth with rows and rows of teeth. I keep thinking about it.” Peter shivered. “It came so close to me. And its tongue was super long. It was like a cracked out frog.”

“So a ninja turtle? You got beat up by a ninja turtle?” Ned gawked.

“It wasn’t a ninja turtle.” Peter snapped. “ It was black, remember?”

“So an emo ninja turtle.” Ned deadpanned.

“It kept saying “we”. “ Peter remembered.

“What do you mean?”

“There was only one of them, but they only referred to themself as “we” as if there were multiple of them.” Peter explained.

“Do you think there could be more? Like an alien army or something?” Ned asked incredulously. Peter hadn’t even thought about that.

“Maybe. I remember something else, it’s name was Venom.” Peter recalled. He distinctly remembered those words coming out of the creatures mouth.

“Venom?” Ned repeated, clearly finding it cool.

“Yeah. And I told it my name. I used my regular voice too.” Peter realized. He usually disguised his voice when speaking, but he had been so scared that he forgot to. It haunted him knowing the creature now knew who he was and he wondered if it knew both of his identities.

“Wow. This is so cool. Not cool for you, because you might die. But this is super cool for me.” Ned smiled as he envisioned what Venom might look like.

“Thanks, ned. Actually, wait.” Peter stopped in his tracks. “One more thing happened.”

“What?” Ned whispered as they approached their class.

“Venom was about to eat me but then it started talking to itself. It sounded maybe like it was having a conversation with someone? I’m not sure, I could only hear one side of it.” Peter explained. “It put me down, well it threw me down, and let me go. But before it left, it said something about a girl. I don’t really remember. I was too focused on catching my breath.”

“Catching your breath? Were you running?”

“No. It choked me.” Peter told him as he lightly touched his neck.

“Kinky.” Ned smirked as he took a seat next to Peter in their class.

“That’s gross.” Peter stifled a laugh. “Did I tell you about this morning with Y/N?”

“No. Tell me.” Ned said. He wasn’t disappointed in the change of topic. He was glad Peter had moved on on from Liz, finally. Peter recounted the discussion he had with you that morning, barely getting through it without blushing and laughing at certain parts.

“I really like her, Ned. More than I’ve ever liked anyone. She’s so amazing. I barely know her, but I can tell already. I want to know everything about her. I want to hear her full story. And most of all, I want to be a part of that story.” Peter declared but frowned suddenly.

“What’s wrong?” Ned asked.

“After our talk, we just kinda sat there staring at each other for a while.” Peter began. “She kinda leaned in, and I did too, but then this seagull flew by and scared us half to death. We laughed about it but the moment was gone.”

“So you almost kissed her?” Ned smiled. “Why is that upsetting you?”

“Because what if that was our chance and I blew it?” Peter feared. “What if that seagull was a sign from above that I was in way over my head? Like God was asking me who I was to think I could just kiss the most perfect girl in the world? She’s so cool, Ned. Way too cool for me. She’s already had a boyfriend and I’ve never even kissed anyone.”

“If it’s meant to happen, it will happen.” Ned assured him.

“Or, the same thing that happened with Liz will happen.” Peter argued. “I won’t tell her how I feel and then she’ll be gone forever.”

“Then don’t let that happen.” Ned reasoned. “Tell Y/N how you feel. Do it tonight, before you go on patrol. And if she doesn’t feel the same, then at least you’ll know. Isn’t it better to know?”

“When did you become such a love expert?” Peter teased as the professor walked into the room.

“Since I started dating Betty. She’s opened my eyes to what love really is.” Ned shrugged. “Tell her tonight. Then tell me how it goes. I’m here for you either way.”

Peter nodded and gave Ned a thankful smile before turning his attention to the professor.

On his walk home from campus, Peter spotted you walking down the sideways. Ned’s words of encouragement rang in his ears and he made a brash decision.

“Hey, Y/N, wait up!” Peter called after you, making you turn around.

“Hey Parker. How was kindergarten?” You teased him.

“Alright alright. Majoring in chemical engineering is hardly kindergarten. And I’m only one year younger than you.” Peter reminded you. “I don’t want you to have a heart attack on me, grandma.”

“Watch it, sonny.” You kept with the joke. “I’ll hit you with my purse and then say something mildly racist.”

“Just like my grandma.” Peter laughed in amusement. “We’re gross. And not funny.”

“We really are.” You scrunched your nose. “Couple of gross ass orphans.”

Peter laughed again, feeling comfortable enough with you to joke about a tragic situation.

“Look, Y/N, I really enjoyed our talk this morning. I really enjoyed all our talks so far actually. I guess I just like talking to you. ” Peter began. He looked nervous all the sudden, like he lost his stamina. You raised your eyebrows hopefully, as there were only so many ways this conversation could go.

“I like talking to you too, Peter.” You said honestly, hoping he’d continue. Hoping he’d ask that question. Your answer seemed to give Peter the confidence he needed to go on.

“Really? Um, that’s great cause I really like talking to you too. I already said that. Oh god. I’m crashing. I-“ he began to flail and you calmed him down by taking a few steps closer. You were almost touching at that point. He stopped talking immediately and looked at you with wide eyes.

“Is there someone you wanted to ask me, Peter?” You asked slowly as you looked at him through your eyelashes.

Damn. He was tall too.

“Yes, actually. I, um, will you…would you maybe want to-“

“Hiya kids!” A gravely voice came from the front stairs of your apartment, completely cutting Peter off. Peter looked up and angrily rolled his eyes.

“Don’t look now. It’s Henry.” Peter grumbled. Henry was the creepy neighbor with the foot fetish.

“Oh Dear God.” Peter said in a low voice.

“What?” You panicked when you saw Peters expression change.

“You’re wearing flip flops.” He pointed at your black painted toes and you felt the color drain from your face.

“Run!” He whispered harshly. You bolted into your apartment and Peter ran into his. Once inside, Peter blew out an angry breath. He had been interrupted twice in one day when trying to talk to you, and he worried that it was a sign.

Back at the apartment, you sat on your bed with headphones in. You were prepping for your interview with Cletus Kasady by writing down some questions you wanted to ask him. It was hard figuring out what to ask a serial killer. You looked at your notepad and sighed. All you had written down was “but why tho?” in sloppy handwriting. You tore out the page, crumbled it up, and threw it at the trash can. When you went to write something else down, you noticed the paper ball still stuck to your hand. You shook your hand but it still wouldn’t come off.

“What the hell?” You grumbled as you shook your hand.

“Oh. This might be our fault.” Venom said suddenly.

“What might be your fault?” You asked as you continued to shake the paper off your hand, but to no avail.

“We sort of went inside Spider-Man when we were talking to him yesterday.” Venom said timidly and the paper ball dropped from your hand.

“What?” You demanded and Venom went silent.

“Come out here.” You said, like an owner to a dog.

“We’d rather stay inside.” Venom said softly.

“Get out here now. You need to explain yourself young lady.” You said sternly. Venom slowly manifested and looked at you with sad eyes.

“I’m 600 million years old, by the way.” Venom added. “You can’t call me young lady.”

“What do you mean you went inside Spider-Man?” You ignored her comment.

“When we were choking him we put one of our tendrils inside him and swirled around.” Venom explained. “He didn’t even feel it. We did though. He’s very squishy on the inside.”

“You…what?” You didn’t even know where to start. “How does that explain the paper sticking to me?”

“We think we absorbed his powers.” Venom said. “We used to watch videos of him on YouTube after you went to bed. He can stick to walls and stuff. We think that’s why the paper ball stuck to you.”

“Since when can we absorb powers?” You wondered as you looked at your hands.

“We never had a host before. We don’t really know how it works.” Venom reminded you. “But back on Klyntar, our home planet, the Grandmaster used to tell us we could absorb the powers of superhuman beings. Judging by your newfound stickiness, we think it worked.”

“What else can Spider-Man do?” You asked. “Since you’re such a big fan.”

“He can shoot webs out of his wrists. And he can return lost dogs.” Venom answered, sounding a little annoyed.

“Do you have something against Spider-Man?” You chuckled a little at her tone.

“We hate what he did last night. He thought we were the bad guy, and he let the real bad guy get away. He judged us before he had the full story. We’re not a bad guy.” Venom defended. You were surprised to hear how passionate she was about this and gave her a soft smile.

“Let’s not worry about Spider-Man right now. I want to test out our new abilities. Let’s rock and roll, baby.” You cheered, complete with rock and roll hands. The second you touched your middle finger and ring finger to your palm, a black, web-like tendril shot out from your wrist and stuck to the ceiling. You stared at the web with a gaping mouth, weakly shaking your wrist to see if it would stay attached.

It did.

“Maybe that’s one of our new abilities.” Venom said. You looked back and forth between her and the gooey web coming out of your wrist.

“Oh my God! What’s happening?” You screamed. You took your fingers off your palm and the web retracted back into your wrist. Looking at your wrist incredulously, you made the rock and roll hand again and the same web shot out from your wrist. This time, it grabbed the ceiling fan.

“V-Venom?” You asked. You didn’t know what to say.

“Try to aim it at something.” She suggested. You aimed your wrist and the lamp across the room and touched your fingers to your palm. The black web shot across the room and grabbed onto the lamp. You quickly yanked your arm back to pull the lamp towards yourself. The lamp flew across the room, smashed you in the face, and left you with a bloody nose.

“Ow.” You cried, gingerly touching your nose.

“We see this as a absolutely win.” Venom cheered. You shot her a look and went to get cleaned up.

After about a week of practice, and very little work on your questions for Cletus, you had a better handle on your webbing ability. Of course, the week also consisted of long talks with Peter on the roof, late patrols of New York, the occasional run in with a criminal, late night FaceTime calls with Peter, and beating the shit out of Spider-Man, twice. Venom eventually grew bored of using the new powers around the house, so it was time for the final test.

You stood at the rooftop ledge and looked down, talking a deep breath to calm your nerves.

“It’s a long way down.” You commented.

“Yep.” Venom replied in your head.

“We could die.” You added.

“Yep.”

“Ready?”

“We’re ready.” Venom grinned as you transformed. You stepped off the ledge and fell freely for a while, screaming the whole way down.

“Stop being a little bitch! Shoot a web!” Venom yelled. You aimed a web at a building and began to swing. You were too close to the ground and ended up knocking over a bunch of tables at an outdoor restaurant. People ran away in fear while others took out their cameras and recorded.

“We’re not here to hurt you! Peace and love!” Venom shouted as you continued to swing through the steers of New York. People began to cheer upon hearing your words.

“Do you hear that, Y/N? People are cheering. They love us.” Venom said happily.

“I love us too.” You replied. You were even happier than she was. You knew how much it hurt Venom to be seen as a monster, it was why she hated being called a parasite. You also knew it was why she hated Spider-Man. He was praised for stopping bad guys while Venom was seen as one of the bad guys he needed to stop.

“Hey, what is that thing?” A man called from the street. Venom stopped swinging and landed on the street. You proudly turned to the crowd of people, a massive grin on your face. There it was, our favorite question.

“We…are Venom.” Venom growled. People took pictures and videos of you from a distance.

“You can come closer. We won’t hurt you.” Venom assured the crowd.

“Are you like the anti Spider-Man?” Someone asked.

“Spider-Man is a joke. He can’t protect this city like we can. We are no Spider-Man. We are Venom.” Venom roared. A few people took a step back and you began to feel uneasy.

“Hey, King Kong. I want a word with you.” A sassy voice quipped from the crowd. A man in yellow sunglasses and a suit stepped forward, and you bet your ass you recognized him.

“My name is Tony Stark. Heard of me? Of course you have. Would you mind coming back to my tower with me?” He asked, but it felt more like a demand. The people in the crowd slowly dispersed and soon, you stood there alone with Tony.

“Be nice. Say yes.” You told Venom.

“Who is this guy?” She asked out loud.

“I just said my name.” Tony said, slightly annoyed.

“He’s a really famous inventor. I’ll explain later. Just follow him please.” You begged. Venom gave Tony a once over and followed him to a limo.

“Yea, you’re gonna ride up top big guy.” Tony said, patting the roof of the car.

“Girl.” Venom growled. Tony looked surprised.

“My apologies ma’am.” He raised surprised eyebrows. You rode on top of his car all the way to his tower, wondering what he could possibly want with you.

The inside of his tower was huge. Tony lead you to a lab that was bigger than yours and Peters apartments combined.

“I’ve seen videos of you on YouTube. Seems like you and Spider-Man aren’t the best of friends.” Tony remarked as he pulled out an iPad.

“We will crush his bones and snort them like cocaine.” Venom growled. Tony was just as surprised to hear that as you were.

“Now that’s a visual.” Tony smirked. “I’ll have you know, Spider-Man is a friend of mine. He’s not your biggest fan either but from what I’ve seen, you’ve done this city some good since you’ve been here. How long has that been?”

“Two weeks.” Venom answered.

“I thought so. I’d never seen you before then. And since your arrival, petty crime has dropped significantly in Queens. Criminals are too scared of getting eaten to do anything. Don’t get me wrong, I love Spider-Man and I’ll kill you if you tell him that, but no one fears him. He gets the job done, but there’s always another job to do. With you, on the other hand, your mere presence is preventing crime before it even happens.” Tony smiled to himself, like he was just given a new toy. “You’re scary, is what I’m trying to say. But you’re a good guy. It’s rare. I want it to stay that way. I want you on my team.”

“Team?”

“We’re called the Avengers. We had a bit of a falling out but the name still stands.” Tony waved his hand. “We fight bad guys together. Really, really bad guys. I think you could us some good. Plus, you’ll be taken care of for life and we’ll only call you in for serious threats. But I need a few things from you first.”

“Like what?”

“Your story.” He pointed a finger at you. “How does a giant, anthropomorphic alien wind up in New York City?”

“It’s a long story.” Venom answered.

“We can trust this man, Venom.” You told her telepathically. “I’m gonna come out okay?” Venom hesitated and Tony looked impatient to know more.

“Are you sure?” She asked you. Tony looked confused.

“Am I sure?” He pointed to himself.

“Not you.” She said. Tony looked around for who else Venom could be talking to and found no one.

“I’m sure.” You decided. “This guy is one of the good guys. We can trust him. I promise. I’m coming out.”

You slowly transformed back into yourself in front of Tonys wide eyes. Venom stayed in her snake-like form and rested on your neck.

“Hello, Mr. Stark. My name is Y/N L/N.” You shyly introduced yourself. “This is Venom. We want to help.”

Tony’s face shifted from shocked to impressed as he looked you over.

“I gotta say, I did not except someone like you to be inside that scary monster.” Tony chuckled.

“We’re not a monster, Mr. Stark. We want to help people.” You reminded him.

“I can see that.” Tony nodded. “That’s why I’ve been developing you a suit.”

“When did you do that?” You wondered. “We just met.”

“Oh, I know. I’ve been designing it while you talked. I want you to have it incase you and Venom get separated. That way, you’ll be protected until you’re back together.” Tony explained as he showed you his ipad. Sure enough, it had a drawing of a suit on it.

“I’ll get started right away. I just need a little piece of Venom. If I make the suit using her skin, you’ll have the total protection you need.” You looked at Venom for consent, who nodded and extended a tendril towards Tony. He quickly snipped a piece off and put it in a container.

“When will the suit be ready? A few months?” You asked as Tony tapped the container. Tony stopped looking at the container and laughed.

“Y/N, I’m a genius inventor. Go get lunch. It’ll be ready when you’re done.” He said.

And he wasn’t kidding. An hour and a half later, Tony presented you with a suit. You ran my fingers over it slowly, not wanted to disturb a single thing. You looked at it in awe, completely speechless at what he had created.

“Go on, try it on.” He shrugged casually. You grinned from ear to ear before rushing to the bathroom to put it on. You came out soon enough with tears in you eyes.

“You like it?” Tony asked. You looked at your covered hands in amazement. The suit was jet black, like Venom was, and hugged your body like a second skin. There was a big white spider symbol on the front, the complete opposite of Spider-Mans small black one. You figured it was a nod to being called the anti Spider-Man and it was perfect.

“Well?” Tony was still waiting for an answer. You looked up at him just as a few tears fell down you cheeks.

“We didn’t celebrate my birthday growing up because it was the anniversary of my moms death. I used to be so upset every year.” You blurted. Tony looked like he didn’t know what to say and you couldn’t blame him. That was something deeply personal and you had only just met him.

“What I’m trying to say is, I get it now.” You explained. “All those missed birthdays were for a reason. I didn’t get gifts those days because I’m getting the ultimate gift right now. This is the most amazing thing I could’ve asked for. I cannot thank you enough Mr. Stark. I’ll never take it off.”

“You can’t take it off anyway.” Tony told you. “When you don’t want to wear it, it absorbs back into your skin like Venom does. And it’s equipped with Venoms essential abilities. It’s bullet proof, knife proof, taser proof, spork proof and so on. And you can still shoot your webby things. You just won’t have super strength, super speed, or that Venus flytrap mouth of yours.”

You tested it out and shot a web towards his desk. You grabbed a pen and caught it with ease, then looked at Tony for approval.

“That’s the best I could do. It’s no Iron Man suit but it’ll suffice.” Tony said casually. You couldn’t take it anymore and rushed towards him to hug him tightly.

“Thank you.” You said into his chest. Tony patted your back awkwardly and you let go.

“It’s nothing. You can thank me by not eating Spider-Man. I know he’s annoying but he doesn’t mean any harm. Now go forth and do good.” Tony requested.

You swung back to the apartment and landed on the roof. You turned back into yourself and made your way down the steps to your floor. After this mornings conversation with Peter and the incredible suit from Mr. Stark, you were having a great day. For the first time in years, you couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

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