#for ff

[girlwithlandscape]

#endings #survival #surviving #getting through #loss #breakups #for gf #for ff #caitlyn siehl #poetry #poem #quote #reminder #it ends or it doesn’t

[embraceyouropacities]

“You know, love doesn’t mean ‘I never want you to change.’ But I don’t think it means ‘I don’t care if you change’ either. So I suppose it mean mean, ‘I believe that you’ll always be the person I adore.’ A declaration of faith, perhaps.”

— Sayaka Saeki, Bloom Into You

#sayaka saeki #bloom into you #quote #love #friendship #change #relatable content #for ff #chloe #growth #relationships

[foldingfittedsheets]

Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".

#ffs foibles #funny #story #writing #story time #sex shop #retail #funny story

[blackshvck]

Kung Pow Penising is now illegal

#chatdaw #to b more specific: kung pow penising the st*ff is now illegal #clown website

[puraiuddo]

FanFiction.net is not gone.

Right now it's a victim of DNS (Domain Name Service) spoofing. This means that a malicious party is trying to steal traffic from FFn by purchasing a very similar domain.

Correction:

The new "fake" site that people are seeing still belongs to FanFiction.net—they just misconfigured their servers and are not redirecting traffic from the bare fanfiction.net to the main site at www.fanfiction.net. There is likely no malicious agent. Didn't mean to scare anyone! Just wanted to let people know the site wasn't deleted!

So if you want to read fanfiction and not see leaves, you have have to type out "www.fanfiction.net".

Please share so people stop panicking.

#i was not expecting this to become ANYWHERE near as popular as this is #sorry for the misinformation concerning why the website wasn't working #just wanted to get the point across the ffn isn't dead #fanfiction #ffn #fanfiction.net #fanfiction dot net #fanfictionnet #ff net #purs post #psa

[ebonyheartnet]

-Recording begins-

Spider-Man: Hi folks! I’d like to give a PSA to my usual villains, and anyone else with ideas for the next two months.

Spider-Man: *holds up a brick sized lump of metal* See this? It’s titanium!

Spider-Man: *starts flattening it out and shaping it*

Spider-Man: See, we all know that I’m crazy strong, but I never wanna really hurt anybody right? Right. While that hasn’t changed, something very important does right around this time of year.

Spider-Man: *pulls off a glove and pulls a chunk into a long stem with his nails carving lines for added texture*

Spider-Man: See, this is what we like to call exam season. Anybody who knows anything about college can tell you that it drives people up the wall, and I already climb mine when I’m antsy.

Spider-Man: *starts winding the thin sheet around the stem, delicately crimping petals in place*

Spider-Man: I do wanna be clear that this isn’t a threat, okay? I’m still not interested in crossing the line, which brings me to my point.

Spider-Man: *throws the titanium rose at the brick wall behind him, stem first, and embeds it all the way through*

Spider-Man: /That/ was restrained because I could focus enough to have full control. If I’m extremely tired or otherwise distracted, there’s just as much risk of me slipping up as someone operating heavy machinery. I’m probably not going to remember what sleep is for two whole months, so remember!

Spider-Man: *pulls out a brick and snaps it like a cookie*

Peter fucking Parker: Don’t.

#peter b parker #peter parker #ebony writes the thing #word girl #how tf did I forget to tag that smh #into the spider verse #also forgot to tag THAT ffs 🤦🏽 #anyways. Miles and the other spider stumbled upon recordings of college!Peter B Parker. and uh. #this man is getting dragged across the multiverse lol. but he did in fact Ace his exams.

[javsarts]

Literally went from:

“Why would I ever trust the word of an Oathbreaker?”

“It’s unwise to trust a bloody Sharran”

To:

“Why hello, Lover, that sounded more debonaire in my head, I admit”

“I am yours, my Heart”

.

.

.

.

Aaaand I’m finally in Act 3 (fucking finally) with my Oathbreaker Paladin Durge run. I can only wish I’m talented enough of a writer to write a fic for these two I swear-

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #shadowheart #dark urge #shadowheart x tav #shadowheart x durge #bg3 tav #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 durge #bg3 the dark urge #bg3 fanart #fanart #my art #baldurs gate fanart #balehrys baenrahel #my OC #they hate each other in act 1 cuz for some reason I had difficulty raising shart’s approval ffs

[nutmargaret]

An excerpt from a comic I made a couple years ago about fishing in video games. Full comic is on my ko-fi for free (or a couple bucks if you’d like). Happy fishing!

#fishing #animal crossing #legend of zelda #comic #shovel knight #rdr 2 #minecraft #the full comic has even more games!! including one FF character very connected to fishing wink wink #also I drew every image (it was a lot of fun imitating the style of games)

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Instead of Dick or Tim, Red Hood straight up goes for kidnapping Bruce Wayne and keeping him hostage just to see how desperate the birds get in trying to find him.

It’s a foolproof plan. Batman won’t blow his cover unless absolutely necessary, and “Brucie” would never know how to slip away from a crime lord of Red Hood’s caliber. It’s foolproof. It’s perfect. Jason can keep dropping hints and make threats towards the birds and watch Bruce squirm without consequences if he plays this right.

But then “Brucie” keeps begging him not to hurt his kids…

#Jason miscalculated #seeing Batman frightened is one thing #but without the cowl he’s just Bruce #and Bruce was Jason’s DAD #it’s pretty hard to see him plead like that #and ffs Jason was just suggesting MILD torture with Tim #now stop CRYING Brucie omG #Jason is totally NOT close to tears himself no fucking way #meanwhile dick and Tim: #SCREAMING IN DISTRESS #jason todd #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #robin #tim drake #bruce wayne #red hood #Nightwing #batdad #prompts #fic #titans tower au does this count? #enemy to caretaker for certain tho #or more like #enemy to son #or enemies to family? #huh #Batman #fanfiction

[girlwithlandscape]

“Will you not stay with me, inside me always? I have come up from such depths to find you. To say that I love you isn’t enough. It’s more, more. Probe around inside me, unearth everything that’s in me.”

— Henry Miller in a letter to Anaïs Nin

#quote #henry miller #letters #love #desire #anais nin #for ff

[embraceyouropacities]

“What are you? A chaos.”

— Anaïs Nin, Fire: From a Journal of Love

#anais nin #anaïs nin #quote #chaos #identity #for ff #harley quinn

[catilinas]

the past is dead the future died before it could be born and me i feel also not so good

#pharsalia 7.640 ff. #pharsalia #lucancore #beeps

[theghostofbean]

”Men think about the Roman Empire” “What’s the female version of the Roman Empire” SHUT UPPPPP. SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPP. AS A WOMAN I LOVE THE ROMAN EMPIRE. AS A WOMAN I LOVE ANCIENT HISTORY AND BATTLES AND POLITICAL INSTABILITY. THE “GIRL VERSION OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE” IS THE ROMAN EMPIRE. IM GOING TO STAB YOU 23 TIMES

#why do we have to gender history ffs I hate it here #sorry just had to get it out my system #roman empire #history #classics #tagamemnon #ancient history #ancient rome

[annmariethrush]

CAS IS GONE AND DEAN SUDDENLY WANTS TO KILL HIMSELF??? A THING WHICH THEY EXPLICITLY STATE IN THE EPISODE??? THAT DEAN WANTS TO DIE?? AND THEN HE FINDS OUT CAS IS BACK AND ITS LIKE THE WHOLE GODDAMN WORLD IS MADE OF SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS?? THEY ALMOST ROMEO AND JULIETED THESE BITCHES!!! CAS WAS ALREADY ALIVE AGAIN. DEAN FINDS OUT WITHIN AN HOUR OF GETTING REVIVED AGAINST HIS WILL????

THEY ALMOST ROMEO AND JULIETED DEAN AND CAS ARE YOU FUCKING ME???

#Be so fucking for real right now #spn writers owe me compensation #Romeo and Juliet spn #Cas and Dean are in love #ffs #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #destiel #castiel #deancas #casdean

[v0idwraith]

David Szymanski: in my game i have invented the Iron Lung as a cautionary tale

Billionaires: at long last, we have created the Iron Lung from classic horror game Don’t Create The Iron Lung

#titanic #oceangate #james cameron #ffs this fucking thing literally has WORSE navigational abilities than the iron lung #relying on elon musk’s network for wifi not even having a beacon #again i feel bad for any researchers on there but #what kind of fucking dumbass pays $250k to be sealed in a metal death tube #like they can’t even open it from the inside it has to be opened by crew on the outside #iron lung