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subwaysurf45 · 1 year

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She’s Not Mad

Summary: Bucky Barnes was a known people pleaser, it was second nature to him. After meeting you and getting close you both try to navigate his eternal stressed state, working together you try your best to tone down his obsessive ways.

Words: 9k (if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been...)

Warnings: Bucky has mommy issues, mentions of oral sex, nudity, angst, fluff, college!bucky, slow burn

A/N: thanks for the patience!

Masterlist

A Couple of Weeks Ago…

“So, you’re not a thing?” Bucky asked as he shoved his laptop and notebook back into his bag, grabbing the handle of his water bottle and choosing to carry it with him for the walk.

The two boys were higher up in the rows of the lecture hall as they peered over the two girls talking to the professor. Steve had his eyes drilled into Natasha, the girl standing off to the side as her friend went over a question she had.

“She told me she is still figuring out her feelings since her last serious relationship,” Steve sighed as he packed up as well, “and I told her I’d wait- apparently this guy’s parents had given their family engagement ring and everything.”

Bucky pulled the corner of his lips out tight as they began to walk down the stairs, “who’s the other girl?”

“The one that was just asking the question is Y/N,” Steve watched as both girls left the room, “good friends, met last year, live together now.”

“She’s cute,” Bucky said purely, no smirk or innuendo.

********

You sat over your laptop in the library with both hands acting as a brim to cover your eyes from the people around you. Tears rolled down your face as you studied the practice question, you felt pathetic and you tried to sniffle as quietly as possible. If anyone saw you silently bawling you’d drop out, it was stupid enough already when the librarian walked over and dropped a tissue box off without saying a word.

“What do you mean?” you whispered to the page for the hundredth time, hoping for some answer.

You had done the homework, you went to the study groups, you even extended your prof's office hours because you wanted to make sure you were doing everything right. Yet here you were, sitting alone on a Friday night because you still can’t do the practice assignment. Quitting felt like the only option, it wasn’t like everything was going to click; it was too late.

This was just going to become the thing that you could never do, simple as that. Sometimes there are subjects that no matter how hard you try, you don’t have the flair. It was a tough pill to swallow but you’d never be able to do any work if you’d continue to hold yourself to a high standard, it was a win to get the little things right, not the entire question.

The idea of failing was new to you. The jump from high school to college was still something you never adapted to, you always expected nineties on everything and not the mindset that C’s get degrees.

Trying to do the question was like beating a dead horse, you needed a break. You ran your hands over your face and leaned back in your chair, hearing pops from your back as you did so, until you were leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. When you looked straight you saw someone already staring at you.

He had longer brown hair that hit his jawline, blue eyes that jumped out at you, and a very concerned look on his face. He was familiar but you didn’t know what it was from.

“Are you Natasha’s friend?” The guy came up to your empty table.

“Yeah?” You wiped away your tears, extremely confused as he pulled out the chair right beside you to sit at the eight sided table.

“I’m good friends with Steve, I think the two of them have something going on- not important, but I kind of know you and I'd rather not leave someone I kinda know alone crying, so…” he rubbed the back of his neck, “are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” you rolled your eyes and faced your computer again, “the absolute last thing I need is something watching me cry, alright?” your bottom lip wobbled as you kept your eyes away from his at all times.

He was still staring at you, “come on,” he sighed and moved his hand to comfort you but thought otherwise, “I’m not going to laugh at you or run and tell everyone I know I saw a girl crying in the library- y’know what they’d say?” You could see him tilt his head, “they’d say what’s the big deal, haven’t we all?”

You scoffed, “no they wouldn’t.”

“You’re calling me a liar?”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Bucky,” he stuck out his hand, “Bucky Barnes.” You shook his hand, “and since I am a Barnes and was raised by my ma I simply can not let this continue, it’s my obligation to either cheer you up or take you home.”

You scoffed again and tried your best to hide your smile, “and I’m Y/N, and in my family we stress about everything and never give up so I can’t leave until I get this question, so…”

Bucky’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he flipped the laptop to face him a little better, “this is the class all four of us have together, alright,” he read over the question and immediately furrowed his brows before looking at you again, trying your best to hold it together. He knew the answer but couldn’t bear to see your reaction, it was painfully obvious you were beating yourself stupid over these questions.

“Can you take a deep breath for me?” he asked like he was talking to a child.

“I barely know you, dude,” you crossed your arms and ripped your laptop back to face you, “and I’ll have you know I don’t need a man to come in here and explain everything to me, alright, I’m going to figure this out on my own and I don’t need you, okay? So just head home, tell Steve I say hi.”

Bucky took a deep breath himself, “that question isn’t marked on the homework, the reason you can’t get the answer is because the way to get it has most likely not been taught yet,” he paused and saw your face crumble, “and I didn’t want to freak you out because you look like you’ve been here a while and you seem to be beating yourself up and I just couldn’t-”

“Stop,” you whispered and covered your face with your hands, “just stop talking.”

And he did.

Trying your best to calm your breaths, it didn’t work. So fucking stupid, unbelievable, there’s no way you just spent close to an hour staring at a problem you didn’t even have to do in the first place.

“Can you walk me home?” you squeeked.

“Of course,” Bucky stood up right away and started helping you pack your bag, “I have some water, do you want it?” He held up his water bottle. You nodded and began drinking as you both made your way outside and towards your off-campus house.

“Did you need to study?” you asked as you screwed on the cap.

Bucky laughed and looked up at the night sky, “I was going for a walk because I heard there was a blood moon tonight, and there is, look,” he point up and saw the red mood looming above both of you, “and I just happened to walk past the library, I looked in the window and recognised your laptop as well as your hair, funny enough,” he laughed as he looked forward again.

“So you just came in to see me?” you needed to make sure you were hearing this right, it’s not like it happens often.

“I was going to introduce myself to you actually,” Bucky shrugged and looked over at you, “I know Steve and Nat are trying to figure things out and I thought friends of two people who might date should know one another. Then I saw you crying so I changed my game plan.”

You just nodded, slightly brushing into Bucky’s arm as you walked. It was hard to stay straight with the exhaustion taking over, every now and then you’d brush your knuckles past Bucky’s. He was a cute guy, and something about him being oh so caution around you made you feel important.

“This is me,” you said later as you walked up the steps, “thanks Bucky, I hope we can be friends.”

Bucky smiled and stood at the bottom of the steps, “if you ever get in your head again like that and need someone to pull you away, let me know- even in the middle of the night, alright?”

“Alright,” you laughed with your hand on the door handle.

“I’m serious, Y/N. I look after the people close to me, I look after friends of friends like siblings,” there was no joking in his tone, it seemed other people doubted him on this promise. “I’ll give you my number,” he hand reached out for your phone.

“I’ll be fine, you seemed to have good luck running into me,” you giggle and open the door to your house. Before it fully closed you felt resistance, looking over your shoulder you saw Bucky holding open your door.

He was smiling, “then give me your number for another reason.”

“Oh?” you turned and placed a hand on your chest, “you’re rather forward.

“Well being cryptic didn’t work, did it?” He laughed and held out his hand again, “come on, I might need a study buddy one day- or even better, a lunch buddy.” you laughed as he tried to duck to meet your eyeline, “you don’t want to be my lunch buddy?”

“I’ll be your lunch buddy,” you giggled and handed him your phone, he wasted no time adding it in. “Goodnight,” you whispered and made it into your house, leaning back and resting against the door. You thought for a moment before breaking into a massive smile, replaying how he tried to keep eye contact with you. Or how he’d been so proud of how his mother raised him- “son of a bitch,” you whispered.

He walked you back home and cheered you up.

Just like he said he would.

A Few Days Later…

Your phone must be hacked or something because your weather app said it would be completely clear today and sunny in the afternoon. As you sat in the cafe you thought it would clear up but it was only getting worse.

All you needed to do was brave the rain and make your way home, but waiting for the perfect time when everything would let up for a moment was pointless.

Walking as fast as you can with your head down, you saw your grey sweatpants become a darker shade instantly. It was a straight downpour with absolutely no sign of letting up, you swore you heard thunder when you waited at the crosswalk. Due to your phone lying to you, you had not brought a hooded article of clothing or umbrella so you just had to deal with everything going wrong.

There definitely was thunder and the lightning was right above you, it seemed like you were the last person on Earth because everyone else was smart enough to stay inside right now; but not you. Down your little street you began to run, trying to get away from the lightning that was chasing you.

If you could guess you’d say most people who had been struck by lightning most likely thought they were too far away, in denial as the sky opened up from above. It was hard to admit you were actually a little scared at that moment, rain getting in your eyes as you sprinted down to your house that was now in view.

With your key at the ready you fell inside, slamming the door behind you.

Natasha rounded the corner, “you idiot, I was trying to call you!” She screamed and saw your state, “Steve and Bucky are over-they drove over they could have picked you up,” Natasha got in your face to peel off the sweater, taking it off right over your head and leaving you in your bralette and those drenched sweatpants.

“You took off my shirt when there’s boys here?” you whispered as you began to shake, covering your chest with crossed arms.

“We guessed you were walking back so we put towels in the dryer,” as if on cue Bucky rounded the same corner with your fluffy towel ready, “thank you Bucky,” Natasha wrapped it around your shoulders.

“Hi, Bucky,” you squeeked, “glad we keep meeting like this.”

Natasha had walked upstairs, most likely getting different pants. Bucky got down on one knee and slipped off your shoes, “like what?” he asked as he looked up, he reminded you of a little puppy somehow. He was as big as a great dane but there was an underlying softness that made you want to hug him or just let him wrap his arm around you.

You huffed as you pulled the towel tighter, “when I’ve just done something embarrassing and you’re there to save the day.”

Bucky stood up with his arms crossed, “only you would think crying or getting caught in the rain is embarrassing,” he shook his head and reached out to rub your shoulder that was covered by the towel, “I like helping and I like making sure people I know are okay, you know this.”

“I do,” you whispered and walked further in your house. Before you could get anywhere near comfortable Natasha whisked you away to change your soggy pants as well as throw on a sweater, they had also been thrown in the drier, everything was very toasty and warm.

Steve was sitting on the couch, staring intensely at the football game going on. Natasha guided you back in and towards the couch. There was enough room for four of you but you knew thighs would be pressed up against one another, you were okay with that if Bucky was sitting beside you. Though you don’t see him often it was nice when you did even though you made it seem like it was embarrassing. Something about having someone who loves taking care of people take care of you so well caused you to crave it a little more.

Bucky came around the couch with a mug, “hot chocolate for you,” he whispered and took the spot beside you, next to the arm rest. You thanked him and let your hand slightly burn on the mug when you held it, liking how the warmth began to spread up your arms. Natasha found her spot on the other side of you while Steve stayed on the edge, leaning forward and never looking away from the game.

“This is really good,” you sipped it and whispered to Bucky, he just smiled and leaned into your side for a moment.

“What were you working on?” he asked after a moment.

“I was at the cafe for a little treat but before I was doing my elective course,” you spoke softly. It seemed like everything happened for a reason because you only got food at the cafe which left room for this hot chocolate now.

“And that is?” Bucky giggled as he leaned forward again.

“Art history,” suddenly, you were coy. Most people thought your elective was a bird course but to you it was actually interesting, it wasn’t often you were met with a positive response.

His eyes got wide, “that’s sick!” Bucky readjusted himself off the couch, “I would have never even thought of that course, wow, that’s really cool. So, like, what do you-”

“Bucky, I love you, brother, I really do but-” Steve sighed, “can you please be quiet, this game is very important.”

“I didn’t think the Big Game was on today?” you asked as you took another sip.

“It’s not that,” Steve places his beer down, “it’s the State Cup Finals, it’s college football.”

Natasha smiled and looked over, “his team’s the underdog and are actually on the road to winning the entire thing!” She giggled and linked an arm with Steve who was happy to cuddle up with her, “it’s actually very exciting once you learn the ins and outs of it.”

You just nodded and faced forward again, seeing Bucky out of the corner of your eyes rubbing his thumb on the neck of his beer bottle, staring off into space. The moment you leaned your head on his shoulder he looked over at you, your heart broke when you saw a sad smile. He was just trying to talk to you, he got excited for you and here he was being scolded.

“Do you want to come look at some of my notes, or are you into this game?” you whispered and saw his eyes light up, both of you quickly stood and headed up stairs with your bag slung over your shoulder.

The moment you walked into your room you felt everything slow down, Bucky slowly walked in and looked around. He was smiling to himself as he l took in your photos on the walls or posters, even your to do list seemingly growing on the white board you have mounted to one wall.

You sat on the corner of your bed as he flipped through your notes, “so you’re, like, breaking down these paintings, it's not just the history of when they were painted?”

“Oh yeah,” you fiddled with the hem of your dry sweater, “most of these artist go insane and we look for that in the work or even just what was happening during the time with stuff that you’d learn in a normal history class but we look at if and when it get put into art,” this was your little thing you could talk about for ages, “very cool stuff.”

Bucky nodded and flipped the pages, “your notes are amazing,” he whispered, “you’re a pretty good student, huh?” he looked over his shoulder and saw you sitting there, just staring at him as he made his way around your room. “What?” he giggled and made his way over to you, holding his hand out to get you to stand up.

“Nothing,” you tucked your chin to your chest, getting coy at the attention. “You’re just…y’know, sweet.”

Bucky just smiled and rubbed your arm, giggling as you both stared at one another for a moment. “Do you want to go back down?”

“Sure,” you nodded and leaned forward, smiling as you both made your way back downstairs.

The rain still worked its way down your windows as the beers and wine kept flowing. The game had ended a while ago but Steve and Bucky didn’t see a reason to leave, it was a good moment that no one wanted to end. You had finished your hot chocolate and moved onto wine, sipping it slowly as everyone talked. It was nice to be brought into this group even though it stemmed from Nat and Steve, there was good chemistry between the four of you.

Talking to everyone was effortless, you didn’t need to act like someone else to fit in. no one was yelling over someone else to get their point across, there weren't any passive aggressive tones in anyone's jokes, it was carefree. It was relaxing to have people this easy to talk to.

The only thing that wasn’t relaxing was the amount of times you caught Bucky staring at you. Everyone had migrated to the floor with their backs against different furniture so you could break out the board games, Bucky was sitting adjacent to you on your right and Steve adjacent on your left, Nat right in front. Every single move whether it be placing a card down or moving your little object around the board Bucky would find a reason to look at you.

“Good one,” he’d pat your shoulder.

“Let me move your piece for you,” he’d say before you could reach across the table.

“Sorry…” he’d smile before taking your little object and moving it back four spots.

He was very attentive, always watching and scanning. But the more you noticed it the more you figured out he was doing it to everyone, including Steve. Something happened whenever Bucky would either move Steve’s piece for him or go get another beer so he wouldn’t have to stand up, Steve would give this look. It seemed as though he was silently telling Bucky he knew something or he was pointing something out that had been a topic of conversation before. Bucky would try to laugh it off but Steve was very protective of Bucky, you just didn’t know why.

The games had slowly come to a close, everyone not drunk but a little more than tipsy. Giggles flowed freely around the table as the conversation resumed again, your eyes were growing heavy as you traced the rim of your glass.

“I’ll be back,” Bucky muttered as he headed to the washroom.

The moment the door closed Steve sighed, “this kid.”

“What?” you were getting protective, why was Steve about to talk shit about his best friend?

Steve just shook his head, “It’s hard to see how badly Winnie fucked him up.”

Your heart plummeted. Any tiredness had left your body faster than the little gasp escaped your lips. Who was this Winnie girl and why did he mess Bucky up? The thoughts circled your head, was he in an abusive relationship? Natasha looked like she didn’t know either, pouring more wine into her cup.

When Bucky came back he sat closer to you and you couldn’t help but reach out and wrapped your arm around his. He must have been a little surprised but you rested your head on his shoulder and continued on like it was nothing.

You were half asleep when Bucky tried to do something for Steve, maybe get him another beer but whatever it was it left Bucky looking like a sad puppy because Steve said, “Buck, relax, I can get my beers, thank you, but I got it, alright?”

Steve's tone was soft but also commanding, he wasn’t annoyed at all. With your eyes closed you pieced it together that Steve was trying to help Bucky in some way, maybe get him to relax a little more. It was out of love but Bucky was very quiet for the rest of the night.

********

You and Bucky had started hanging out a lot more on your own. There were a lot of late night drives or study sessions, Bucky always came to the library to walk you home if you stayed late or had turned your brain into mush during your studying.

What Steve had said stuck with you more than you thought it would, it didn’t impact how you saw Bucky but it made you more aware of his people pleasing tendencies. You wanted to do the same as Steve, tell him it was okay but you weren’t as close. You saw how hurt he was the last time and you just couldn’t do it to him.

Currently you were both sitting on his bed, the movie was wrapping up. Half of his laptop sat on one thigh and the other half sat on Bucky’s, your arms were linked and there was a steady brushing of your thumb on his forearm. In all honesty, you thought you were lulling him to sleep when you looked up five minutes ago to see him fighting his dropping lids.

When the movie faded to black both of you sat there for a moment, content with the sitcom that was coming up next. You looked up again to see him with his face scrunched up, his other hand was on his back.

“What is it?” you asked and leaned over, he was rubbing a specific spot on his lower back with his thumb.

Bucky held his breath as he leaned forward to move his hand, “I was working out this morning and there weren't any belts left for my deadlifts and I did something to my back.”

“Do you want a massage?” you offered, he’d do the same for you.

“I’m okay, thanks,” he looked down at your head resting on his bicep.

“I didn’t know you worked out,” you smiled, “you don’t have the, like, bodybuilder physique.”

Bucky laughed and wiped at his eyes, giggling to himself before answering. “I don’t want that look, but…” you could see the boast on the top of his tongue, he poked his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

“Tell me!” you sat up, taking the laptop off your lap so you could fully face him now, “are you, like, ripped or something?” you both laughed as he hugged himself so you couldn’t feel or see anything, “you are, shut up!” you placed both hands on his shoulders, his face so red from laughing and embarrassment you just wanted to take a bite out of it.

“Steve calls it a sleeper build,” Bucky managed to wheeze out, he was trying to play-fight you off of him.

“What the fuck is that?!” you gasped as your hands reached out but he copied you and intertwined his fingers with yours.

“It’s when someone has muscle but you can’t really see it in normal clothing,” his face was calming down as well, but that stupid smile was still on his face. “It just kinda happened, just how I am.”

You tried to move his arms around but you couldn’t, his fingers were still tightly woven with yours. You just laughed and fell back into him, cuddling up again. “I had a friend's mom who was an actual masseuse, so…” you shrugged, “I actually know what I’m doing because she’d give me massages and walk me through her process.”

“You just want to take my shirt off, don’t you?” Bucky taunted.

“I want to make sure you’re not uncomfortable the entire time we hang out and for the rest of the week,” you giggled before snuggling into his arm again and watching the show that had come on randomly.

It took three days before Bucky came back for that massage.

You were hanging out again like normal and he was still trying to relieve the ache in his lower back. It was becoming sad to see him so uncomfortable so you kept reminding him of your excellent massage skills. After what you counted as his third groan of pain you just looked at him and soon enough he was asking you to turn around so he could take his shirt off and lie down.

Choosing your angle to stand with your back to him was a science, you wanted to make sure you had the mirror to look at but you also didn’t want to make it obvious. Part of you hated yourself for wanting to catch and peek at his body but it was infamous now, you just had to look.

And my god was it worth it.

It wasn't an obnoxious amount of muscle that made it seem like the strength drained from his brain and into his arms. The sleeper build comment was right, you had no idea. His chest made you feel comfortable and protected, the kind of chest you’d want to fall into when the subway starts up too quick and you’re not holding onto anything. His arms were, and you already knew this, amazing at covering so much surface area for hugs. They were secure and trustworthy, you knew that when you hugged him he had you; it also helped to remember when he’d whisper it in your ear.

“Okay,” his voice was muffled by pillows at the top of your bed.

You turned around and were greeted by his back which was also an amazing sight, the kind of body sculptors would use and their go-to subject if no one else was there. “I have some lotion on my hands,” you warned and pressed your palms onto his back and quickly began spreading the lotion around.

Though this wasn’t a proper table and he was resting on one cheek instead of face down you knew this was the best he’d get for a college kid. You started all over and slowly worked your way to focusing on his lower back. When you felt the knot you knew you found it, the thing was massive. The low groan Bucky let out was close to pornographic as you dug into him.

Something about seeing him grip the sheets, making his veins pop out, did something to you. At first you only really saw Bucky as another friend or a good member of the friend group you stumbled your way into. But the more you spent one-on-one the more you realized he was your perfect guy. Any guy can be perfect physically but his personality enhanced your view for him, it made you appreciate his looks even more.

His laugh always brought out the crinkle in his nose and those pretty teeth, the sound of him giggling was music to your ears and also was the perfect accompaniment to his squinted eyes or broad smile. The same with his little fist pumps he does when beating you at a game either around a group of friends of a video game, that stupid celebration he does every time causes him to flex his bicep but that’s secondary to the little circles he makes with his fist.

You kept working away and looking at his rested face once in a while, seeing his eyes closed and the relieved look on his face. There was something so pure about watching the guy your slowly obsession over fall into simple relaxation all because of you, it was a treat.

“How’s that?” you whisper, “Bucky?” trying to make sure your pressure wasn’t too hard for him you wanted to check in, but he had fallen asleep. With the opportunity in front of you, you reached out and placed your bent knuckles along his cheek, feeling the stubble tickle your fingers.

You found him blanket on his bed and covered him up so he wouldn’t get cold with his shirt off, before leaving you placed a kiss on his forehead before heading downstairs for a snack. You also wanted to give him space, let him sleep peacefully.

Steve was down there when you got there, another roommate of his cooking as you found Bucky’s section of snacks to choose from.

“Where’s Bucky?” Steve asked as he looked over his shoulder, not for long due to the football playing on the TV.

“Sleeping upstairs,” you ate the goldfish as you rounded the couch to watch the game.

He seemed taken aback at your casualness, “what did you guys do…?” he slowly looked over, most likely trying to see if your hair was disheveled or anything was blossoming on your neck.

“I gave him a massage,” you shrugged and fell back onto the couch, “his lower back has been killing from his workout a while ago.”

You could see Steve look over his shoulder to see if his roommate was also hearing this, he looked over at you again and squinted. “So- and correct me if I’m wrong here- you gave Bucky a massage and put him to sleep and now you’re down here getting a snack?”

“You would be correct,” you smiled, “would you like to do a once over of my neck for hickies or maybe rummage through the trash for condoms?” you sassed and plopped a few more goldfish in your mouth, “I was helping him.”

That statement made Steve look over his shoulder again. The roommate just shrugged with a smile before heading down to his room in the basement, noodles steaming from the cup. You just looked at Steve as he tried to piece together everything, it was actually funny to see him try to understand.

“Bucky doesn’t accept help from anyone,” Steve turned to face you, “it’s his thing to never want to be in debt with anyone when it comes to favours of any sort.”

“Well,” you just sighed, “I’ve been picking up on that too but I got to him I guess, he let me do something for him.” That was all you could say because you didn’t have a full background of why Bucky didn’t accept help from anyone you just knew he didn’t; the only clues you had were Winnie and her role in this.

“That’s good,” Steve quickly added, “I’m far from saying it’s bad, trust me, it’s just he’s been in a funk for a while when it comes to that stuff, it ebbs and flows.”

“Do you think he’ll ever tell me?” you asked as you watched the game, too embarrassed of the question to look at Steve. It seemed there was this vital piece of information that made Bucky who he was that was dangling right in front of your face, you were falling for him but that thing that made him him was out of reach. When Steve first made the statement he siad that this Winnie girl fucked him up which implied something bad much have happened and that can also mean something isn’t necessarily right. You were never going to fix Bucky but you did want to understand so you could help be a better friend to him and not unconsciously get in the way of his mindset.

Steve nodded, “he’ll definitely tell you,” he looked over and smiled, “I mean, you’re all he ever talks about, this kid is head over heels for you it’s just…some guys have hard times coming to terms with their past, he’ll get there though.”

“I know,” you nodded, “I’ll obviously never force it out but I do want him to be aware I’m here to listen, y’know?”

“He knows,” Steve laughed and stood up, going to the cupboard and grabbing a little snack for himself as well.

You took a deep breath before standing up and heading back upstairs, you were guessing Bucky was still fast asleep. When you opened the door you found him still laying on his bed in the exact same position, only now there was little snores coming from him.

With a pout you crawled back onto the bed and sat next to him, placing your hand on his back and sliding it down to his arm that was bent up so his hands could rest under the pillow. Your thumb gently rubbed his arm for a moment before pulling out your phone and scrolling through it.

The boredom ate away at you, instead of scrolling through your phone you went to his dresser to find some clothes you could change into so you could crawl under his sheets and sleep over. When you pulled open his top drawer you were met with his underwear and socks as well as a box of condoms tucked to the side, you just giggled to yourself at the painfully college male sight in front of you.

Something about wearing his boxers made your face heat up, that was a level of intimacy you wanted to reach with him one day but you didn’t know if it was time. Looking over your shoulder after a particularly loud snore you smiled to yourself and picked up a black pair, as you held it up you remember seeing the waistband sticking out of his jeans while he reached above his head to grab something for someone - you weren’t focused on his actions at the time.

Quickly slipping your pants off and pulling up the boxers you maneuvered to his closet, finding your favourite hoodie he wore very often. This moment of intimacy, moving around Bucky’s room while he wasn’t aware, caused a surge of confidence to shoot through you. Though you had never talked to Bucky about what the relationship between you was, you knew both of you could agree there was no room for girlfriends or boyfriends for either of you, this was the time to build the foundation for something better later. Having this idea of only being the girl in his room you took off your bralette and tucked it back in his top drawer, across from the condoms.

You didn’t choose this bra specifically but you were wearing a slightly lacey bralette, it was far from lingerie but the lace added something to it. Making sure you put it where it wouldn’t be obvious but also not hiding it, you grew giddy at the image of Bucky finding it.

Before getting in his bed you tugged and tugged the sheets under his body before managing to get the covers fully out from under him. You scooted in and pulled the sheets up to cover both of you, it seemed he really needed the sleep because nothing was waking him up, not even the little hug you gave him before turning off the lights and falling asleep beside him.

********

You were sitting in class aimlessly scrolling through your phone during your five minute break in your lesson, your art history professor was one of the best teachers you've ever had. She was funny but also well informed, she also had a big heart and didn’t need a eulogy as a form of proof if someone asked for an extension due to a funeral service that day.

Bucky: What the hell is in my dresser?

Without knowing the tone or context your heart dropped. You read the text with Bucky’s voice as if he was screaming at you, a hint of embarrassment in his tone. It was in your head, you didn’t know if it was a flirty tone either.

You: Just my bra, when I stayed over a couple of nights ago I changed into your clothes and just absentmindedly put my bra in your top drawer. I probably was just going through the motions and thought I was at my place.

Bucky: Can I pick you up from class, when does your lecture end?

Something about him completely disregarding your explanation - lie or not - gave you the worst feeling in the world. Ice poured down your back as you watched your prof make her way back up to the little stage she teaches on, you couldn’t keep the conversation going and just needed to deal with it later.

You: sure, it ends in an hour.

Bucky: I’ll be there.

Part of you didn’t want to leave when your lecture was over, you stayed in the hallway for a moment and thought of every single end of the world situation that could happen in the car. Bucky didn’t seem like a guy who hit women but your anxiety didn’t let you leave out that thought. He also didn’t seem like the guy who’d reveal he’d been dating another girl the entire time but who knows, he could be in a three year long relationship as you stood there.

With all these terrible situations playing out in your head you decided to face it head on, you’d walk in there and wouldn’t let him talk; just saying your apologies with your eyes closed before he could get a word out.

You walked down the steps and to the right to find Bucky’s car parked in front, coming up in the blindspot. You took a moment to take a deep breath, opening the door and sitting down as quickly as possible.

“Do you-”

“Bucky,” you put your hand out but kept your eyes casted down, “I am so unbelievably sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I don’t know if you already have a girlfriend and she found it and it caused a rift in your relationship, or if you like to sleep with other girls and one of them found the bra and got jealous so you lost your credit. I don’t know what made you angry but please, I am so sorry for what I did, I wasn’t thinking and I just put it in there and I-...” you just held your mouth open as you looked at the center console, you had run out of things to say. “Um,” you slowly looked up to see him frozen in shock, mouth still slightly open from when he began to say something, “sorry, you were about to say something?”

Bucky had to physically rattle his head to get out of the shock he was in, “do you want to get some coffee?”

Your eyes flicked up and it was your turn to stay frozen, “what?”

Bucky pulled his brows together, “I was making a joke about the bra thing,” he seemed concerned at your extremely anxious state, “I don’t care what you leave at my place, I really don’t,” normally someone would laugh in awkward situations but Bucky didn’t, it felt like it made everything worse. “Do you want coffee?”

“What is going on?” you couldn’t believe the situation you had put yourself in, nothing was making sense.

“Don’t get all mad at me,” now it was time for him to scoff, “you’re the one that thought I was sleeping with multiple women while I’m actively pursuing you, you idiot.”

“Don’t call me an idiot,” you huffed and faced the front of the car, crossing your arms after putting on your seatbelt.

Bucky laughed as he reached over and turned your face so you’d look at him, “that’s what you took from that statement?” He giggled, “babe, I just said I was pursuing you, does that just fly over your head?”

“Wait, what?” you grew more interested, “you want to date me?”

Bucky nodded, “have I not made it obvious?” You just shrugged and began to feel small, curling yourself further into the seat of his car, “I would like to take you out and I would like to continue to collect little pieces of you at my place while doing the same to yours, does that make sense?”

“Then what were those condoms for?”

“The same reason our house keeps tampons in our main bathroom,” Bucky put the car in drive and began working towards to coffee shop, “if you ever need a tampon you go and grab one, if Steve ever needs a condom and he’s out of stock in his room he comes to me,” Bucky looked at you at the stop light.

“Oh,” was all you could say.

“But let me get a few things straight,” Bucky placed his hand on your thigh, “I’m not sleeping with other girls, I do not have a secret girlfriend, I am not mad you left your bra in my dresser and I tried to make the text seem flirty, and finally,” he went at the green, “I really like you and I would like you to be my girl whenever we get there.”

“Okay,” you whispered, “I’d like that too.”

“Then it’s settled,” it was a short drive to the cafe, “let’s celebrate over coffee, shall we?”

You looked down at his hand on your thigh, “yeah, we shall.”

********

Your body felt like it was floating, your legs tingled and it was hard to catch your breath. As you laid on your back with your hands on your bare stomach Bucky worked his way back up from between your legs while leaving kisses on your hip bones as well as your stomach when you lifted your hands.

“How was that?” Bucky asked breathlessly, licking his lips before kissing you.

You kept your answer waiting, probably because he knew it already, kissing him slowly as he wanted. He was fully in control right now, setting the pace and tone of this entire afternoon. When he pulled away for a moment you complimented him like always, your hands reached up to his shoulders and tried to push him to lay on his back but he stayed strong.

“Flip over,” you whispered and ran your hands down his chiseled stomach, working your way up to his shoulders as your fingernails raked up his back.

“I’m all good,” he shrugged.

“But you’re painfully hard,” you tried again to get him to move but he just fell beside you on his stomach, not allowing you to touch him where he was in fact, extremely hard. “Come on, you always do this.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiled and pulled you down with him.

“I just want to do something nice for you, you never let me do anything for you or give you any favours,” in your head it seemed like a normal observation, it was true that Bucky didn’t let anyone do anything for him while he actively tried to help everyone in anyway he knew how.

That seemingly struck a nerve, “alright then,” he sighed and got up from the bed, heading into the bathroom as he left you naked and alone on his bed, the most lonesome feelings in the world.

“Where are you going?” you sat up, grabbing your shirt from the edge of the bed.

“Going to go jerk off in the shower,” he said as he closed the door.

“You can’t be serious,” you quickly stood and made your way to the bathroom that was connected to his room. You opened the door to see him already adjusting the tap before starting the shower. “Bucky, it’s the truth, it’s who you are but it’s the truth and as your girlfriend I want you to feel good, I want to give you pleasure like you do to me.”

You reached forward and placed your hands on his back, slowly working your way to his shoulders so you could turn him around. There looked like shame had overtaken him as he stood before you, though he was larger in size he shrunk himself down to look small. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, he didn’t know what to say.

“If I can’t give you head then can I come in the shower and wash your hair?” you didn’t even put on the shirt you grabbed, it was dropped to the floor. “Come on, honey, it’ll feel so good.”

Bucky only nodded before stepping into the hot shower with you. You made sure he got most of the stream on him, you stayed in front and made sure his hair was soaked before getting any product. You could see his tenseness at first but the moment your hands made contact with his scalp his eyes rolled back, his shoulders relaxed. In that moment it occurred to you that you had actually never seen his relaxed state before.

“Doesn’t this feel good?” you whispered, making sure you used your nails to really cleanse his scalp. “Doesn’t letting yourself relax and breathe feel so good, Buck?”

“Yeah,” it came out quiet and broken.

Your eyes were focused on his hair the entire time, making sure you lathered up and took your time. You needed to savor this moment for both you and Bucky, you wanted him to be relaxed for a s long as possible as well as taking advantage of doing him a favour; never knowing when your next opportunity would come up.

Gently tapped his forehead, you got him to lean back. The water immediately took off the top layer of suds but you needed to rub out the deeper layers as well. Your fingers scrubbed until the trail of water rolling down his body was pure water and had no shampoo in it.

“I’m going to- oh, my gosh Bucky,” you reached out and saw his red eyes, “when did you start crying?”

“I can’t remember,” he whispered and tilted his head down, the water pushed his hair to cover his eyes.

You pushed his hair back and pulled him out a step further so the water hit his back, your thumbs quickly wiped away a mixture of water and tears off of his face. He couldn’t stop crying as you tried your best to keep his face clear, “honey, what’s wrong?”

“I-” he choked on his own words, “I’ve never let my guard down this much,” he admitted before breaking off into harder sobs, you swooped in and pulled him tightly against your chest.

“I know it’s a new feeling,” you whispered, “but I want you to be able to do this all the time, let your guard down around me,” it was a shot in the dark by saying this but you did it anyways, “I promise I won’t hurt you, I’ll never take advantage of your guard down, love.”

It must have struck something because his knees buckled, his hands gripped tighter as he desperately kept you close to him. You didn’t know if you were making him feel better or worse but the act of letting go was needed for him, you kept holding him until there was nothing left to cry.

When he pulled away he stayed close, close enough that you kissed him under the gentle rain of the shower and played with his hair at the base of his scalp. His hands stayed on your back and held you close to him, making sure you were always touching him in some way. You tried to get a good read on him but he kept his head low and gently ran his hands up and down your sides, just feeling you.

“You’re very safe,” you whispered.

Bucky looked up at you for a moment before keeping his eyes down for a while, his brows pulled together and it seemed like he was trying to say something but didn’t know how. Both of you were open and vulnerable, naked in the hot shower. Tears threatened to spill over at the picture of Bucky crying in front of you.

“It was my mom,” Bucky whispered, “the one who broke me-”

“You’re not broken,” you quickly corrected, cupping his face and stroking his cheek with your thumb, “don’t say that.”

Bucky just shrugged, “I’m the oldest, I have four sisters younger than me - all different dads.” Bucky took a deep breath and pulled you closer, “my mom…Winnie was an interesting woman who never wanted to be pregnant but somehow always ended up pregnant anyways, it also didn’t help none of the guys wanted to stick around.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him the easy opportunity to hug you if he needed to. Nodding along, you encouraged him to keep going.

“When my mom realized I could do the dirty work she would take advantage of that. I basically raised my sisters and somehow she managed to worm into my head,” he let out an angry laugh, “she’d say she loved me if I did things for her and I was a bad boy if I couldn’t or wouldn’t help her, she would say I didn’t love her if I didn’t change my sister’s diapers or bathe them while she sat on the couch.”

“Bucky,” you were the one to instigate the hug, “that’s awful.”

“And I’m aware of how I act now, all I’ve ever known is helping other people to make sure they love me,” he laughed again, “and it sounds stupid but I can never break out of the cycle, I always think I’m doing a good job or not being overbearing but then I start to second guess myself, you know?” he pulled away and looked at you, you quickly nodded. “I start to think about what people are saying behind my back and so I keep doing what I’m doing to stay on the safe side, I know it’s fucking annoying but I can’t help it.”

“It’s not annoying, baby” you leaned past him and turned off the water as it grew cold, “and if you’ll let me I can help with that, I don’t want to fix you or change you, I just want you to be comfortable in this relationship and not think I’m secretly mad at you because you didn’t get me a glass of water.”

Bucky nodded, stepped out of the shower with you and grabbed two towels. The conversation had naturally ended, Bucky didn’t have anything else to say. It was hard not to think he was overthinking again, the idea that you were causing him to stress out stressed you out. You were being truthful when you said you wanted him to be relaxed in this relationship, the last thing you wanted was underlying tension.

Back in bed Bucky rolled over and cuddled into your breasts, holding you closely as you watched his head rise with your breath. You had no idea if he was asleep or not, you knew he wouldn’t mind either way if you played with his hair.

“Thank you,” was all he whispered before falling asleep.

********

You all sat around the couch to watch another big game. Though you had no idea what was going on you were just as into it as Steve. Half time had just started and you all took a collective breath, the two college teams were close.

“Want another beer?” you asked as you stood up, looking at Bucky who was sitting on the couch. Steve and Nat had already filled up, you wanted another cooler and Bucky was almost done.

“Yeah,” he quickly downed his final sip of beer before handing the bottle off to you.

There was this anticipation in the room, you smiled and took the bottle and walked past Steve who was already looking at Bucky. The room seemed still when Bucky didn’t move, just pulling out his phone to look at something while the commercials played. Before making it into the kitchen you looked over your shoulder and saw the back of Bucky’s head, you bit your lip to suppress the smile that was growing.

The moment you got back and sat next to him Bucky took your hand and pulled it into his lap. He fidgeted with your finger before looking over at you, “how’d I do?” he whispered.

You laughed and leaned into his side, “how much did that make your cringe?”

“I was in pain for a moment,” he answered as fast as possible before giggling with you as you clink your glasses together and take a long swing. With a deep breath he looked back at the game and kept your hand in his. Bucky must have not been paying attention but his phone buzzed, illuminating and accidentally showing his lockscreen.

It changed from the photo of the two of you to a black background with white writing on it:

Trust me, she’s not mad at you.

********

Thanks for reading, feel free to reblog and tell me what you think!

Taglist: @jackiehollanderr @tylard-blog1 @readingbooksanddrinkingtea-blog @linzc-reader @hotleaf-juice @honeybunchesofbucky @seybox @yaszx @happyt0exist @striving4averagegirl @searchf0rtheskyline @aya-fay @wbyss @luvrsbian @albertdabuttler

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messylustt · 11 months

Note

i had this on top of my mind today

imagine ethan with a huge crush on y/n, having all these fantasies on her. once a week they would call each other for econ homework, but that day he's just too horny so he gets off to her voice. y/n is too oblivious, he would be palming himself through his pants. his breath becomes a little too loud and she kind of guess what's happening and takes advantage of it to tease him/make him embarrassed.

this makes me feel things

a little help — ethan landry + reader ( scream ) : ethan can’t help but get off to your sweet voice.

male jerking off. teasing. innuendos. ethan has fantasies. wc 2.0k

Ethan felt slightly embarrassed with how eager he picked up the phone His heart was already beating fast as your sweet voice filled his ears.

"Hey, Ethan!" You smile, placing your assigment and study papers on your bed, as you got yourself settled.

"Hey, y/n." He says, a smile he can never force down appearing on his lips.

"Did you get the new assignement from this morning's lecture?" You ask, as you flip through your pages to find it.

Ethan does the same, putting you on speaker as he placed his phone on the bed. "Yeah...I think so... yes." He says, placing the assignment details ontop of the rest of his work. "Why did Mr. Harold give out papers, instead of just sending it?"

"Ah, he's old, which can sometimes mean old-fashioned, I guess." You say, clicking your pen. "Oh my god, though did you see Sophie?" You chuckle, remembering the way she had tried to flirt with the poor old man, leaning forward as she pushed her breasts together.

"No...Sophie was in today?" Ethan knew of her vaguely as the girl who would fuck for good grades. But his focus had been on you in econ, sparing glances down your body when you weren't looking.

"How could you not notice?" You ask, shifting more comfortably on your bed. "I was scared her tits were gonna fall out."

Ethan stiffened at your words, and not because you had mentioned Sophie's tits, but because the his mind wandered to your own, and how he'd always have to readjust in his seat when you'd wear a tight top. Wondering how they'd feel in his—

"We should get started." You unintentionally break his train of thought, as he gulps, silently cursing at himself. "Because I barely understood Mr. Harold."

"Uh, yeah." Ethan coughed, forcing himself to focus. "What part didn't you get?"

"The third paragraph, where he talks about the inflation and economic growth. His question after confuses me. I'm not sure what he's asking us to answer." You speak so innocently, brows furrowed, as Ethan furrows his own for an entirely different reason.

For some reason your voice was sending small electric jolts through him. All the way down to his dick, which has begun to strain painfully against his pants. Christ, not now-he thinks to himself. He licked his lips, answering your confusion, as you hum with an "ah, that makes makes more sense."

Ethan's mouth has salivated, as all his built up fantasies of you fill his head. "So, when he spoke on analyzing the economy as a system, the list he followed on from..."

Ethan doesn't mean to drown out your words. Because he's listening. But more so to the hilt of your voice, and how it would sound much more breathy, as you gazed up at him. One of his fantasies had you on your knees, licking at his cock, as your innocent eyes held his. He had orgasmed extremely quickly, multiple times, when he found this imagine in his head.

"...he could have meant that these are the elements," you had continued, completely oblivious to Ethan's wandering hand.

He couldnt help it. He palmed his cock, as he listened to you speak. You always spoke so pretty. He could imagine your confused expression as you spoke on your problems. He began to rub himself, restricting himself to just over his pants, as he bit his lip.

He won’t do more. Just…relieve a hint of tension. You continued to speak and your words began to sound like something he wished he could grab, as his hand tightened on his bulge, his rubbing growing messy.

His breathing had grown heavier but he covered it up by saying ‘yes’s and ‘no’s, answering your questions.

“Sorry, I’m rambling. Did you have any questions?” You ask. You were there to help each other, not him only help you.

Ethan had to spare a glance at his work, scanning to see if he’d written down any problems, trying to remember if he had any. Because the only problem he could think of right now is how his over-the-clothes rubbing was doing little to satisfy his need.

His cock was rock hard, and his mind was beginning to cloud over with lust, and want for you. “I—I don’t think so.” He mutters out, his fingers reaching the button of his jeans, as he pulled the zipper down.

It was shameful, but he just couldn’t help it. “Okay, do you mind if I ask another question?—sorry I just saw it now.” You ask as Ethan absentmindedly nods wanting to hear you speak more, before he manages a ‘sure’, trying to act casual.

“Great, thank you,” and you began to speak on either the 8th or 9th paragraph as Ethan stuck his hand in his pants, feeling his pre-cum practically staining his boxers.

He imagined the way you would touch him. Would you be gentle and slow, or would you deep throat him immediately. Ethan’s breathing stutters as he strokes himself. The little hums you make when you think have begun to make his hips thrust up into his palm.

His other hand had tightened around the sheet, praying that you can’t hear him jerking off to you. Ethan grows lost in your tone as his cock twitches.

“Ethan?” You slowly ask, making his hips jolt at the utterance of his name from your lips, but he tries to keep his voice of some composure.

“Yes?” He had to press his lips together after a needy whimper nearly falling.

“Are you…okay?”

Your question makes him halt-much to his cock’s dismay. “W-what?”

“You sound out of breath.” You say, behind the line trying to think of why. Because he can’t be running, he’s in his apartment with his papers on his bed like you.

“I’m not.” He coughs.

You nod to yourself, but then you catch the smallest of sounds fall straight from Ethan’s lips. You had to be mistaken, because that noise sounded like one due to pleasure.

Your mouth opened in shock as you realise. He’s out of breath because he’s…

“Ethan.” You say again, hearing a stuttering whimper from him before he tries to cover it up by asking ‘yes?’ again. “What are you doing?”

Ethan curses himself because you sound suspicious. “I’m studying. Going over the study. Like you.” He says, really forcing down his cock’s want to just ask you to keep talking so he could reach his orgasm.

“Ah huh.” You hum, unconvinced. “And you’re sure you have no questions?”

“No. No, I’m all good.” He says, really forcing his words to sound normal, as he had slowly began to stroke himself again, his cock angry.

“No questions for me?” You ask now instead. Slowly coming to the definite realisation of Ethan jerking off.

“What do you mean?” Ethan asks, your tone going straight to his cock.

“Oh, nothing.” You hum, before you intentionally make your voice come out breathier, seeing what he’ll do. “Did I mention how nice your hair looked this morning?”

Ethan’s breath hitches as his hand quickens around his cock, seeming to have a mind of its own. “N—no.”

“Oh. Well, it looked really good, I just wanted to run my fingers through it constantly.” You pause hearing Ethan’s surprised whimper. “But that’s weird isn’t it, sorry.” You were teasing him now, your study forgotten.

“I—it’s not weird. You’re not weird. At all.” Ethan’s words are broken up by his panting.

“Aw, that’s so sweet, Ethan.” You hum, making Ethan’s hips thrust up into his hand, his legs having widened as you spoke.

“Y—yeah?” His eyelids have begun to feel heavy.

“Yeah. Your always so sweet to me. Helping with my study, making sure I have a seat in econ.” You shift on your bed, debating on if you go bolder. “You’re also very good at studying, hence why you never have too many questions. You’re also very good at teaching, making sure I know what I’m doing. Your just such a good boy.”

Ethan chokes on a moan. This makes his eyes widen, because you definitely heard that. So he quickly goes to speak. “T—that’s sweet. Really sweet. You’re…really sweet.” His tone is still breathy though, as he imagines how sweet you really are…or taste.

“Am I?” You tease, as Ethan’s rapidly nods on the other line.

“Always so…sweet.” He says, his tone unintentionally dropping an octave.

“But I never seem to be able to help you.” You say. “I’m the one always asking questions.”

“That’s fine.” Ethan says. “I like hearing you talk.” He pauses, shit. “I—I mean, I like hearing your questions because then I can help you.”

A smile had edged your lips. “But that’s exactly it. You help me…” you drift off, speaking closer to the phone. “Let me help you.”

Ethan didn’t know what you meant but the tone you had dropped to makes his hand quicken as his hips had begun to grind into his palm. “W—with what?”

“Oh, you know, with many things.” You say, appearing innocent again. “One specifically would be your tension.”

Ethans chokes on a whimper as he places his hand over his mouth, still thinking you don’t know. “My…tension?”

“Yeah.” You say lightly. “I’m very good at massaging.” You hold back a chuckle as you tease him.

“You’d give me a massage?” In Ethan’s mind that’s the closest he could get to you.

“Yeah.” You say. “I’d start with your shoulders of course, getting essential knots out.” You fake normalcy in the conversation.

“Then I might let my hands drift down your back.” You pause. “You’d have to lie down, so I could get a good angle.”

Ethan’s mouth has opened in pleasure at the thought of you touching him on the bed.

“I’d have to ask where feels the nicest, before I’d drag my hands down your body.” Your words were growing bolder and if Ethan’s mind wasn’t hazed over with lust he might have been able to pick out your innuendoes.

“Really?” He asks, his stroking quickening.

“Yeah. Though, through your clothes it mind be hard to properly get that tension out.”

Ethan moans through his teeth, as his hips pathetically thrust at your words. “No clothes?”

“No clothes.” You confirm. “Would that be okay? I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable—“

“Yes.” His answer was immediate, cutting you short. He coughs. “That would be fine.”

You grin. “Good. Because that way I could really relieve some tension. I’d have to straddle you of course.” You pause to hear Ethan’s heavy breathing and the faint sound of his hand gliding along his cock. “You may even have to flip around, because I’ve heard that the most tension can be by your collarbones and neck.”

Ethan nearly orgasmed at the thought of you straddling him, as your hands wandered his body. “As in straddling..my front?”

“Yeah, is that okay?”

“Uh huh.” He hums, his cock twitching with a soon need to release.

“I could give you that massage the next time we study.” You say, making Ethan’s breathing quicken at the possible reality of all that. “I could come over to yours.”

At this point he couldn’t care how desperate he sounded. “Yes. Please, come anytime.”

“Or maybe you should cum?” You ask, your innuendo strong, as pleasure began to rock through Ethans body. “W—what?”

“Come to my apartment.” You play it off, listening to the wet sounds his cock was making as you could hear how close he was to his orgasm.

“No. You should—should come here.” He says breathlessly.

“Do you prefer yours?”

Ethan just wants to see you on his sheets, all his fantasies having happened on this bed. He wanted to make one a reality, even if it was just a massage.

“I just have all the extra study stuff here.” Not that he couldn’t easily bring it, but he ignored that, and so did you.

“See, you are such a good boy.” And that did it. His orgasm wracked through him as quiet whimpers and moans left his lips his hips grinding into nothing. Wishing the air was you.

When the pleasure slowly ceased he heard words he never thought you’d utter. “Maybe next study session I could jerk you off?”

“W—what?” He chocked. Fuck, of course you had heard him. By the end he was being pretty obvious.

“Yeah, Ethan.” You grin. “Let me help relieve some tension.”

#. ( archived )#the ethan effect #ethan landry oneshot #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry #ethan landry x y/n #ethan landry x you #jack champion #jack champion x reader #scream #scream 6 #jack champion x y/n #ethan landry smut #jack champion smut #scream smut #scream 6 smut #scream vi

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writingouthere · 6 months

Text

So this was going to be breeding kink smut and it is that but also maybe more than that. Emotions.

wc: 5k

Content: Nanami/afab reader, mutual pining, friends to lovers, no use of y/n, confessions, breeding kink, smut, confessions like we're in 2005-2012 shoujo manga, is this therapy??

You felt like there was a current under your skin and no matter what you did it just didn't go away. You weren't sure if it was because you were ovulating or if it had just been a while since you got laid but you were fucking horny.

Normally, you would just go to your room and pull out one of your go to scenarios and just deal with this yourself, but Nanami was coming back today from a mission and you had a standing date whenever he came back to town.

Calling it a date wasn't entirely accurate, the two of you were friends, the best of friends, and nothing romantic had happened before and nothing romantic would be happening tonight, no matter what the ache in you had to say about it.

Speak of the curse, there was a knock at the door. No matter how many times you told Nanami, he could just open the door, he always persisted in knocking and usually followed that up with a lecture about how you needed to lock your doors.

"It's open!"

Nanami wasn't even all the way in before he started to reprimand you. "You can't just leave your door open, do you have any idea what is out there in this city and what could easily be in here?"

You didn't react to his tone, the familiar rant almost comforting. "And you think me locking my door is going to help that?" Nanami frowned at you as he toed off his oxfords.

"Lock your damn door."

"Well there's no need for that, now that you're here to protect me," you told him cheerfully and you didn't bother to hide your grin as he blushed lightly beneath the lamplight. Before you made him flee into the night or at the very least end your date-but not actually a date-night, you handed him one of your kitchen knives and pushed him in front a cutting board. "Now come on, chop chop, those peppers won't cut themselves."

Nanami grabbed the knife and wiggled away from your hands and the sight of such a large man wiggling like you dropped a worm down the back of his shirt made you giggle as you went to check the sauce on the stove.

The two of you worked in companionable silence and you turned the volume up on the music you'd been listening to before he arrived. Sometimes you hummed along as you wandered around getting everything ready, taking the vegetables from Nanami as he efficiently worked through the stack. You felt warm and fulfilled and you couldn't think of where you'd rather be or what you'd rather be doing than cooking here with your best friend.

When everything was cut up, Nanami started doing the dishes. You were taken away from what you were doing by the sight of him rolling up the sleeves on his dress shirt, his tanned forearms flexing under the warm kitchen lighting. He quickly unlatched his watch and set it on the counter before picking up the cutting board and rinsing it under the sink. The sight of his strong hands moving under the water sent something warm and dangerous inside of you and you wretched your gaze away before you did something crazy like kiss him or ask him to put his hands around you neck like a necklace.

You added the finishing touches to everything and started to plate it, the smell making your stomach growl.

"Alright, everything is ready!" If Nanami thought anything strange of your cheerful energy, he didn't say anything and just silently dried his hands on your sunflower dish towel and turned to help you plate the food. You both took your plates and a glass of wine to the couch, walking right past the kitchen table you never ate at, and sat at opposite ends.

You exchanged some small talk as you ate and he gave you what you knew to be an extremely sanitized version of what he'd been up to over the past few days and you just enjoyed being in his company.

When you were both done eating and had put your plates on the coffee table, you didn't hesitate to put your feet up on the couch, Nanami taking them and putting them in his lap without prompting.

"What I'm hearing is that you need a vacation. Maybe it's time to finally take that trip to Malaysia you keep talking about," I told him as he finished recounting the trip. He hummed a little as he started to press into the arches of your feet.

Now, his foot massages had always given you a little flutter but right now between the dinner, the wine and the release of pressure as his beautiful hands pressed, you were nearly throbbing. You wanted to take your feet back but felt like you were on a tightrope and any movement would lead to some sort of epic collapse.

"Perhaps, are you going to be using your vacation time soon?"

"Hmm, if it means going to Malaysia maybe," you joked not thinking that you and your best friend would really go to another country together. "It would be nice to just sit on the beach with a drink and a book I would be too embarrassed to read in public here."

"What embarrassment? I've seen you read porn in public on multiple occasions."

"Yeah, so imagine the freaky stuff I've got saved for when I'm somewhere no one knows me," you said, wiggling your eyebrows.

He gently smiled across to you. "I would know you."

"You don't count, Kento," you snorted and he paused before resuming the massage currently killing your three remaining brain cells.

"Really? Why is that?"

"I mean I love you obviously," and you kept going a little quicker so he did't put any weight to what you told him all the time but he never interpreted correctly. "But it isn't like I need to hide what a weirdo I already am from you, you already know. It's too late."

"I would think you don't need to hide from anyone who's worth knowing," he said and while wise you thought he was missing the point.

"I just wouldn't start a date off by listing my kinks, that's all." Nanami laughed and his hands gripped your ankles in a way that had you purring.

"Any guy scared off by that isn't worth your time."

"Uh huh, I'll keep that in mind on my next date. Just casually drop my breeding kink while we drink cocktails and talk about how many siblings we have and how interesting that is." This time, Nanami's hands tightened to the point of almost pain against your legs before he seemed to relax and when he started talking again, you almost burst into flames right there.

"You have a breeding kink, baby?"

His tone was deeper and there was a roughness to it that reminded you of what he sounded like in the morning the few times he'd fallen asleep here. He wasn't looking at you, his eyes seemed focused on where his hands were slowly moving up to the back of your calves.

You opened and closed your mouth a few times before you gave the most nervous laugh that had ever come out of your mouth. "I don't think it's exactly uncommon, feel like it's gotten really mainstream recently. I mean the bigger issue is getting a guy to actually put a condom on."

"I always wear a condom," Nanami responds sharply and you scoff as his hands make their way to your thighs. There's too much happening for you to follow the weirdest, most stressful conversation you've ever had.

"Of course you do. I mean I do too, I'm not just going to let some random guy you know, do that," you end it with a hand gesture that doesn't correspond to anything but Nanami smirks anyway.

"I know, you're too good of a girl for that." Before you can respond, his hands have officially made their way to the hem of your pajama shorts, which now seem far too short under the fire that seems to come from his fingertips. "You wouldn't let just any guy knock you up, right?"

Your brain is screaming "Danger! Danger!" but you're not really sure how you can get yourself away and out of this conversation and honestly you're starting to get worried he's soon going to be able to see how wet you are through the flimsy excuse of shorts you're wearing, if his wandering hands don't figure that out for themselves first.

Nanami's hands pause where they are, brushing up against the inside of your thighs and he tilts his head so he's making eye contact with you. His glasses reflect the glare from the lamp in the corner of your living room but beneath that, his eyes have a look so dark that you wonder if this is what curses see right before he exorcises them.

"Kento, what are you doing?" You ask him quietly, the air seeming to tighten around you and your vision shrinking until all you could see was just the two of you.

You weren't stupid, or some naive character in a novel who continues to be confused that the love interest is hitting on her until his dick is literally out. You knew what this was building to. For whatever reason, after years of friendship, the fact that you had a fucking breeding kink was what was going to push Nanami over the edge and maybe fuck you right here on this couch. Now, your libido was very on board with that plan, but this wasn't about being horny and hormonal. Or about how hot your best friend looked in this lighting, and in every lighting, because you might believe in God sometimes just looking at him. This was about your friendship. There was a reason this hadn't happened before, you were too important to each other to throw away your friendship or risk it carelessly.

"I'm not sure," he said and before you could reprimand him or reestablish boundaries he moved closer to you so he could grab your hands in his. This touch was more innocent than what he had been doing before, but your heart pounded in your chest and you wondered if he could feel it as his thumbs rubbed against the pulse points in your wrists.

"I care about you, so much," Nanami started and you squeezed his hand to show you were listening. "I think about you all the time. Even on this past mission, whenever there were moments where the conclusion of the fight felt uncertain I just thought about you and how I couldn't die because you were here waiting for me."

He paused, eyes so sincere and you knew that there was a before this moment and after. "This isn't about some fucking kink, or me wanting to stake a claim. I love the idea of making you mine, but it's more than that. I want to share a life with you, I want to come here after missions and stay here until it's time for me to leave again. I want to go out there, fighting because I know that I have you here to come home to."

Nanami brought his face close to yours and you couldn't help your quick gasp as his nose lightly traced the curve of your jaw until his lips finally grazed your temple. The touch so light you barely felt it, but it hit you like a shock all the same.

"You do come home to me," you told him and you let go of his hands so you could smooth them down his chest. You felt powerful as his breathing became ragged. "I wait for you when you're gone, even if it's not a mission, because home for me is you. Something is missing when you're gone," you shook your head and Nanami moved to grip your waist, his face pressed up against your cheek now.

You laughed a little, still shaken. "I mean that's really what the whole breeding kink is about anyway." Nanami's hands paused where they had been rubbing circles in your waist and he pulled back so he could look at you, his face amused even as you could see his eyes looking a little closer to tears than you think you had ever seen them.

"What?" He asked and you smiled, looping your arms around his neck.

"It's about wanting to belong to someone and have them belong to you. Knowing that you both want to share a life together and you want everyone to see it. I mean, it's not like that for everyone, the internet really gets to a dark, dark place," Nanami smiled at your rambling and at this point you were on a roll. "But I think for me, it's feeling like someone wants me so much, they want to create a life together that's part of both of us, you know."

"Are you saying you want to create a life with me?" From anyone else you would think they were making fun of you, but Nanami looked so warm, so happy that you couldn't help smiling back.

"I don't know if it's been made clear to you or not, but I'm all in over here. If we're doing this, which it seems like we are," at your questioning tone, Nanami turned so he could press a kiss against one of your wrists. "Then I'm all in. I want the whole thing."

"And what's part of that whole thing?" Nanami asked, pulling you up to standing. He started walking you backwards towards your bedroom, pressing kisses against your hair, your hands, the hollow where your neck met your collarbones.

"Well, you need to move in. I mean your apartment is nicer, but mine has more character and I'm the one home more anyway," Nanami hummed and pushed you gently so you were sitting on your bed. You moved back as he started unbuttoning his shirt. "And, I want to get married but I don't want an engagement ring, just the band and I need you to be chill about that." He frowns a little as he slips his button down off and is down to just an undershirt that clings to his muscles.

"I don't know if I like that."

"Well, I'm not asking you. If you're really pressed about, you can get yourself an engagement ring," you tease as he starts to pull his belt out. You press your thighs together but it does nothing to alleviate the ache between them.

"I think it would clash with my watch," he says lightly as his belt comes out and he folds it before putting it on the chair by your bed. Your heart warms at such how typical of him it is to not make a mess even now.

"Before I continue the list of my demands, there's something I need first," you tell him and his eyebrows go up.

"And what is that?"

"Kiss me, preferably before we're both naked." He blushes, and all parts of this are strange but wonderful and now Nanami is crawling across your floral comforter until he hovers above you and the way his body blocks out the remaining sunlight and the light peaking from the living room makes you preen and suddenly his hand cups your cheek.

"Now how did I forget something like that?"

"I don't know, but let's get this show on the road-" Nanami interrupts you by finally, finally pressing his lips to yours and it's the best way anyone has ever told you to shut up.

You notice his lips are soft and think briefly about what chapstick he must use before your ability to think coherent thoughts is taken from you as he lightly bites at your bottom lip. Even after you gasp, he takes his time before trying to taste inside your mouth, it drives you crazy. When he finally opens his mouth you to you, you hummed pleased, and you can feel his smile as he presses you deep into the mattress.

Nanami's hand are at your waist and when they start to pull your shirt up you briefly separate so he can fling it to the side of your room, in sharp contrast to how he neatly removed his own clothing. You don't have time or the brain capacity to comment because takes advantage of your newly unveiled skin to move his mouth down your body, taking his time at your neck and the curve of your waist. He moves down the bed and when he gets to your shorts, those are thrown to where your shirt is. All you have left is your underwear and even though they're just a pair you have designated as lazy day underwear, which means calling them granny panties is generous, Nanami still looks at you like he's never seen anything sexier and that makes you feel sexier.

Nanami makes eye contact with you as his fingers brush against the waistband of your underwear. You lift your hips up in permission and he slowly lips them down your legs, laying light kisses to your thighs and calves and he works them down.

You had imagined this moment before, and even in your imagination you couldn't imagine feeling confident in someone as perfect looking as Nanami see you naked but in the moment, everything you normally felt insecure about, it was just too small to take you away from being intimate with the man you loved and who you knew loved you.

When Nanami pressed one of his large palms against the inside of your thighs, you knew what you wanted and you couldn't help the uptick in your breath as you slowly parted your legs. No one had ever looked at you with the reverence, the devotion that Nanami was looking at you with.

"I love you," he said and you reached one of your hands down, he met you halfway and you threaded your fingers together above your hip.

"I know," your response didn't have any cheekiness. You were telling him that you saw him and the depth of the feelings he was sharing with you.

With one of his hands still holding yours, he moved the other one to the juncture between your legs and you let out a sigh as he finally touched you where you'd been aching all night.

"You know I heard all about your demands princess, but we never really talked about mine."

"Wh-what?" you stuttered, unlike him apparently you were not in a state to continue any kind of conversation.

"Your demands? The apartment, the questionable ring choice, your demands," he reminded you as he began to lightly circle his thumb and his index finger around your cunt. He barely grazed your clit on every pass he made and it was driving you fucking crazy.

"Is there a point to this Kento," you groaned out and then moaned as he finally slipped a finger in past the knuckle. You were so wet you could hear it and the little hum he let out let you know he noticed.

"I wanted to tell you some of my demands," he repeated as he continued to explore inside of you. He curved his finger and the noises come from you were new even to you. Grateful, desperate but not embarrassed, you wanted him to hear you.

"I want to call you my wife and I don't want to wait, we can go to the courthouse tomorrow and then host a bigger wedding in the fall, if you want. I just care that my ring is on your finger, even if you only want the one," this comes across teasingly as he adds a second finger. "Darling, are you even listening to me?"

"Fuck, Ken, what do you want me to say?" You try to sound cross but it across as a whine and he laughed.

"Just acknowledge you can hear me, you could try a yes, sir."

"Fuck you," you replied and he pressed a little sharper into you. It didn't hurt, it felt good and you knew he would never do anything to purposefully discomfort you. He was just also a petty man.

"So impatient, I'm getting there." You whined when he pulled his fingers out, but before you could complain his tongue replaced them and this cued another desperate noise from you.

You thought of Nanami as a neat, orderly sort of man. He had folded his clothes before getting into bed with you after all, an absolutely mind boggling behavior but not surprising coming from the man who couldn't go to bed if there were any dishes in the sink.

Despite this, the only way you could describe the way Nanami was currently eating you out was sloppy. He moved purposefully and it was a far cry from the boys, you could only think of them as such, who had tried before, even the ones who had truly given it their all. The messiness felt like part of that purpose, like he wanted to show you that he loved your pussy so much he couldn't go about it in a sensible way and it was fucking driving you insane.

You felt your orgasm approaching and when you told Nanami you were coming, he didn't change a single thing he was doing like the gentleman he was and when you came he gentled his touch as you rode the waves of the best orgasm you had maybe ever had.

"Fuck, how have we not done that before?" You laughed and pulled on the hand that was still wrapped in yours, to encourage him to come up to you, but Nanami pushed you back down.

"I'm not done, I'm still hungry."

As he kneeled back down, you laughed again but this time a little frantic.

"You don't need to do that I'm again, I'm ready-"

"Actually, you're wrong. See, this is one of my demands," he says as he teases your entrance, still sensitive. "I need to taste you every day."

You scoffed even as he moved lower. "Well, that's just not realistic." You could swear you see him roll his eyes before putting his mouth to you again and that removes even your deep rooted skepticism. If there was one man to put your faith in, you supposed it was the one eating you out like it was his last meal.

By the time you were coming again, you were surprised that none of your neighbors, as chill as they usually were, had started banging on the walls or called the police just in case.

"Fuck!"

You weren't really capable of speech anymore and when you came for the second time, you squeezed Nanami's hand until you were sure if he were a weaker man, you would have broken something.

Nanami gave once last nip to your inner thigh that had you shaking before he began kissing up your body, lingering on your hip and your neck before he came face to face with you. He hovered over you and you brought your arms up to wrap around his neck.

He leaned down and pressed his mouth to yours and you moaned at the taste of you on his mouth as he lowered more of his weight onto you. He still had his boxers on and you could feel the press of his hard cock on your thigh. You lazily ground against each other until you could feel the leak of his pre-cum through the fabric.

"When are you going to fuck me," you asked, the brattiness in your tone would have embarrassed you if you weren't so desperate for him to be inside of you. Nanami paused in his movement against you and smiled, the warmth in his eyes taking the smugness out of his grin.

"I'm getting there," he said and you humphed impatiently and reached down to tug at his boxers. He let you and pulled them off to join your own discarded clothes. You couldn't wrapping your hand around the length of him, thick and hard in your palm, the head shiny and calling you to put your mouth you him. You licked your lips and Nanami groaned before messily taking your mouth in his.

"Stop looking at me like that, I'll come in your hand," he said and you moaned at the thought.

"Why don't you come in my mouth instead," you teased and went to get up so you could do that but Nanami shook his head and kissed your neck.

"Later, I want to be inside you." You kissed him and he took your hand off his cock and pushed your thighs open to welcome him in. Before he could finally, finally, finally, put himself inside you, he paused and looked at you.

"Do you have a condom?"

You did but you bit your lip which you noticed moved Nanami's attention to your mouth which made you preen a little before you focused up again.

"I do," you answered slowly and then wondering if you had lost your mind continued. "I'm not on birth control," you told him and wondered if you needed to ask what you wanted to ask but he knew you so you didn't.

"Okay," he said and you noticed the grip he had on your thighs tightened. "What do you want?"

"What do you want," you countered, still a little afraid of being completely honest about how gone you were and the fact it was currently making you very irrational.

Nanami laughed a little but the sound wasn't particularly humorous and it made you clench in a way that reminded you of how empty you still were.

"I want to knock you up, is that what you want to hear," he slid the head of his cock over your folds and you whimpered and tilted your head back, leaving room for him to kiss down your neck. "Any children I have, I only want them to be yours," he said it almost like a confession and you felt your eyes well up with tears.

"I want to have your baby, Kento. Please, please, please," you started to plead with him and he moved back to he could look you in the eye.

"Are you sure, because we don't have to, we can wait-"

"For fuck's sake," you say and you move your hips so he slips in to you, finally and Nanami tightens his grip before thrusting in, both of you groaning at the feeling.

"So impatient," he teases but he sounds too wrecked for you to take it to heart. "My greedy girl wants my baby that badly?"

"Yes," you tell him, no shame to be found in you. You roll your hips and he gets the message and he starts moving in a hard rhythm that removes all thought from your brain except for what he's doing to you and little baby with your hair and his eyes.

"I'll give it to you, I'll give you my baby." His thrusts pick up in speed and intensity and you can't even return the kisses he presses to you, you're too fucked out. "A perfect baby for my baby," he coos and you whimper and scratch down his back leading to a sharp response in his hips and you can almost feel his dick in your throat he's so deep in you.

There's so much going on. You have the feeling of his toned back against your hands, strands of his blonde hair messily falling down onto your forehead where he presses his face against your temple. His hands are everywhere, your hips, your thighs, your cheek when he goes to press another sloppy kiss to your mouth you can barely return.

Your orgasm almost surprises you and you can barely warn Nanami before you're coming, the waves of pleasure through your body causing your vision to black out for a second. Nanami moans into your ear and you can't help what you see in your mind as you feel him come in you.

A courthouse wedding with a few of your friends. Moving boxes into your apartment, most of them just filled with work clothes and niche kitchen supplies that only Nanami would own. You cooking in your kitchen, your belly round with this child you created together, while he wraps his arms around you from behind. Dance recitals, graduations, weddings, birthdays, your lives together happen across the back of your eyelids before you slowly blink them open to meet his gaze.

"I hope one of your demands is that we do that every day," you say and he laughs before pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"As many times as you want," he promises and before you can respond he has you turned onto your stomach, letting out an involuntary whimper as he starts to harden in you.

"After all, I did promise you a baby. Gotta make sure it sticks."

So, someone's been reflecting on their reading habits and kinks lately and this kind of came from that.

#kento nanami #jjk nanami #nanami x reader #nanami kento #nanami smut #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #jjk x reader #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x y/n #nanami kento smut

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tenelkadjowrites · 11 months

Text

Wallflower - Part One - Seonghwa x Reader (NSFW)

PART TWO HERE.

🌻 Summary: Having not given much thought about your nerdy coworker, Seonghwa, all of that changes when you hear a rumor about his sexual prowess in bed.

🌻 Word count: 13k

🌻 Genre & warnings: nerdy seonghwa with coworker reader. fem pronouns for reader. reader is drunk at one point. smut. some dirty talk. fingering, oral sex (reader receiving)

🌻 Tags are now moved to the bottom of the fic.

this fic is not meant to represent Seonghwa in any way, shape or form.

“Sorry, I know I’m late,” You say with a huff, plopping down in the chair, clutching your coffee in one hand.

“What kept you?” Your coworker and friend asks, glancing at the time on her phone, “We got here ten minutes ago.”

“Sir Dipshit was busy boring me to tears about the sales numbers for this week,” You reply with an eyeroll, “What did I miss?”

It’s Thursday afternoon as well as your lunch break. As usual, your group of work friends met at the coffee shop across the street from the office. Sitting outside on the patio, the sun high in the sky with a light breeze, it would be a perfect day if you didn’t have to return to work soon. Sometimes, being inside all day at that desk is a bummer…more often than not recently, it’s been an incredible bummer.

“Nothing much, we were just complaining about the usual,” Your other coworker says before taking a sip of her green tea.

It is a daily event to go to the coffee shop at lunch and complain about everything – your coworkers, the corporation you all work for, the daily tasks. It is a ritual, something that gets everyone through the day, including yourself although lately it hasn’t been helping as much as it used to.

“We have that office ‘party’ this weekend,” You remind them which elicits a series of groans among the small group, “And Sir Dipshit made it pretty clear it’s mandatory to attend.”

Your boss, otherwise known as Sir Dipshit, lived to work and worked to live. The man had no existence outside of dedicating his entire life to a corporation that wouldn’t care if he dropped dead tomorrow. The last thing you felt like listening to was a lecture for the next twenty years about missing the event. It ended up being less pain just to suffer through it.

“At least the booze is free,” One of your coworkers points out.

“Remember last year when that guy in senior management drank way too much and threw up on the bar counter? I live for the moments like that at these events,” Another coworker sighs wistfully, “It’s so funny plus gives everyone something to talk about Monday morning.”

At that moment, someone cuts across the street, heading towards the coffee shop. You recognize the person as Seonghwa, who is technically on the same team as you although he works on the tech side. You say ‘technically’ because you can count the number of times you’ve spoken to him on one hand.

One of your coworkers leans forward and whispers conspiratorially, “Speaking of things to talk about on Monday morning, guess what I heard about the resident nerd?”

Confused, you glance over at Seonghwa who is almost at the door to the shop. Today, he wears a white button up shirt with black suspenders, matching slacks and shoes. His glasses are almost comically oversized, black frames that rest on the bridge of his nose that seem too large for his face. The wind is messing up his sandy blonde hair which he keeps trying in vain to smooth down as he walks over.

“Someone is talking about Seonghwa?” You say doubtfully, “What is there to talk about?”

Seonghwa is the biggest nerd you’ve ever met and it isn’t just the suspenders and the large glasses that give you that belief. His desk is littered with the sort of items you’ve always associated as nerdy and he’s always reading some gigantic book based off some sci-fi or fantasy thing. He also works in software and coding or something which means you never understand what the hell he is talking about most of the time during work meetings and tune him out.

“Oh, this is a good one, trust me.”

Seonghwa notices the group then and gives a small wave. Everyone halfheartedly waves back as he goes inside. You really doubt the rumor is going to be anything interesting. Seonghwa seems relatively harmless and you’ve given him such little thought over the past two years working near him that you doubt anything could suddenly make him interesting.

But your gossipy coworker looks positively gleeful as she goes, “You remember how there was that big conference everyone in tech had to attend two weeks ago? They all flew out for it?” When you and the others nod, she continues, “Well, apparently Seonghwa hooked up with one of the regional IT managers.”

You raise one eyebrow. “Okay, and? The most surprising thing about this is that Seonghwa is getting laid.”

At this, one of the other coworkers speaks up, “Seonghwa is a nerd but he’s good looking. That’s not really surprising.”

“I can’t tell if he’s good looking cuz his glasses are gigantic,” You fire back, “I didn’t realize there were people sitting here who wanted to fuck Park Seonghwa.”

Everyone breaks into bickering at this remark until your coworker with the gossip speaks up loudly to silence everyone. “Okay, shut up please. I am not finished!” Once all attention is back on her, which she is clearly enjoying, she drops her voice to a whisper. “Anyway, Seonghwa hooked up with one of the regional managers after that big party they have on the last night of the conference. She said she figured why not because she’s a regional manager on the other side of the country so she didn’t have to worry about awkwardness in the work place –”

“Can you please get to the point sometime this century?” You interrupt.

She shoots you a scowl before saying, “She said not only was Seonghwa the best fuck she ever had but apparently he has a gigantic dick.”

“Bullshit,” You counter immediately, “No way.”

This creates another round of bickering about if Seonghwa could really be the best sexual encounter of someone’s life. You are steadfastly against the idea.

“What about the trope about nerdy guys with big dicks?” Your gossipy coworker argues.

“That’s fanfic shit,” You fire back, “Maybe this manager has just one or two other people she’s slept with so Seonghwa is the best out of a small sample size.”

“Well, she said he ate pussy like a champ and dicked her down so well she could barely walk right the next day.”

“Yeah, sure,” You scoff, “I’m not saying she didn’t sleep with him but maybe she’s…jazzing the encounter up to make a good story.”

It is then that the subject of the gossip exits the coffee shop. Seonghwa gives the group another small wave and this time looks perplexed when everyone bursts into giggles as they return the motion. But he continues back to the office, holding a coffee in one hand. You watch him go, shaking your head.

“Sorry, I just don’t believe it. A wallflower like that being some dynamo in bed? No fucking way.”

Back at the office, you glance at the clock. An hour until I can get out of here, you think. It wasn’t that you hated your job, it was just that it was super fucking boring most of the time. But the money made it worth it – at least that’s what you told yourself when the alarm went off in the morning and you wanted to hide under the blankets.

Idly, your eyes scan the room, landing on Seonghwa’s cubicle. Well, she said he ate pussy like a champ and dicked her down so well she could barely walk right the next day. You scoff quietly before pushing away from your desk, wandering over to Seonghwa’s cubicle.

He is studying something on the computer screen, slightly leaned forward with his back towards you. Your eyes look over the small space. There are some things you recognize – little decorations like small lightsabers – but a lot of things that you have no idea what they are from or what they represent. His cubicle is incredibly tidy, organized with each personal item displayed at such a way that makes it clear he has decorated the space for himself and not to send out a certain image to his coworkers. Cubicles, the original method of creating a carefully curated image to put out into the world before Instagram, you think dryly.

You hover there, wondering why the hell you came over here in the first place. But before you can leave, Seonghwa must sense someone standing there because he looks over his shoulder. At the sight of you, his eyes widen slightly and he swivels in his chair.

“Ah, sorry! Were you waiting there long? I didn’t hear you say my name.” He ducks his head apologetically.

“It’s fine,” You reply curtly, “I was just wondering if you were attending that work party this weekend. I’m trying to get a head count,” The lie comes swiftly and easily without much thought.

Seonghwa pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. You study him for the first time, trying to see past the glasses, his messy hair and the dorky clothing. Seonghwa has always been slender, and tall, with almost a fragile delicateness to him. You’ve never given him much thought until now.

“I plan to be there, yeah,” He says and then smiles brightly, “Are you going too?”

“I am, yeah,” You grumble, “Anyway, thanks.”

“You’re welcome!”

You turn around, walking away from his cubicle. No, that didn’t clear up anything at all.

As soon as it hits five, you shut the computer off and grab your bag, anxious to get the hell out of there. Sometimes, the office just felt so…small and suffocating. You wanted to get out immediately. Swinging your bag over your shoulder, you hastily walk towards the elevator. Half of the floor is doing the same with a few people staying late.

Seonghwa is one of those. As you slow down your walking speed near his cubicle, you look in his direction. Seonghwa is turned to the side, flicking through a folder filled with papers. He looks focused, brow furrowed, as he tries to find something. His work lanyard sways slightly and his tongue is poking out a little from between his lips. He runs his fingers through his hair, paying no mind to how messy it already is.

There is just no fucking way that rumor is true, you think again, frustrated with yourself for spending so much time mulling it over today.

By the time you make it to the elevators, you have resolutely told yourself to put it out of your mind.

“Do you want to go grab coffee?”

“Girl, it’s ten in the morning. Little early for a break, you think?” Your coworker says in mild confusion.

“Yeah, I guess so,” You mumble, “Didn’t realize it was that early.”

“Anyway, I gotta finish up this TPS report this morning or Sir Dipshit is gonna have my head,” She pats you gently on the shoulder, “But we can grab coffee later, alright?”

She walks past you quickly, already lost in thought. You stand there for a few seconds before turning around to head back to your cubicle. Seonghwa is walking across the room, heading towards the giant copier near the window. Today he has a light blue button up on with khaki slacks although the large black glasses still remain. Someone passes by him, saying good morning and Seonghwa looks up, smiling and returning the greeting.

How can he look that happy here? You wonder, And how are his teeth so perfect looking? That’s something new you’ve noticed – his incredibly white teeth whenever he smiles.

Before you can ask yourself what the hell you’re doing, you walk towards him. He doesn’t notice you at first, too busy fumbling with the copier that barely works properly on a good day. But when you get close enough, Seonghwa looks up.

“Oh, good morning,” He says brightly, “How are you?”

Something about his energy, his welcoming posture and his smile makes you feel exposed in some odd way.

“I don’t want to be here,” You say automatically without thinking and then grow deeply embarrassed at your confession, “Sorry, I – hm. I shouldn’t have said that. That’s weird, right? I don’t know – I don’t know why I said that.”

Seonghwa studies your face for moment and then replies, “No, it’s okay. Would you like to go to the break room with me and get a coffee? I forgot to have a cup before I came in.”

Leaping at the excuse to not sit at your desk, you nod. Seonghwa glances at the copier and shrugs, giving up on making it work. You trail after him, wondering why in the world this rumor has made you seek him out yet again and why you just openly admitted to a relative stranger that you don’t want to be at work right now. I must be so fucking bored, you think.

Walking a little bit behind Seonghwa, your eyes study the way the fabric of his shirt rests against his skin before looking at how his belt lays against his small waist. You try to imagine him fucking someone into the mattress but your mind comes up blank. The rumor being about this man in particular just doesn’t make sense.

In the small break room, which is empty due to the time, Seonghwa begins to brew a pot of coffee, chattering the entire time. “I stayed here too late last night and I’m having a hard time getting going this morning. But I am hoping to finish this project before the weekend so I can move on from it. I feel like I’ve already spent too much time on it and I’m going to fall behind.”

You sit down at the tiny break room table, making a small noise to indicate you’re listening.

“I won’t have time to work on it this weekend because I had to move my plans around for that work party. Originally, I was gonna have my DnD session –”

Confused, you speak up, “Your what session? What’s a….Do Not Disturb session?”

This brings Seonghwa up short and he turns around, peering at you through his glasses. “No, my…Dungeons and Dragons session. You know?”

You don’t know. You think you may have vaguely heard the name in the past because you have a mental image of people hunched over a table looking at a board game. It must show on your face because Seonghwa quickly keeps going.

“But now it got moved to Saturday afternoon so I can make it on time which meant everyone else had to rearrange their schedules. Boy, I still haven’t heard the end of it.” He pours two cups of coffee, glancing over his shoulder, “Do you want cream and sugar?”

You tell him your preference and he continues, “But the boss made it clear he’s gonna be pissed if we don’t go so I kinda feel like my hands are tied.” Seonghwa stirs your coffee and brings it over, resting it gently on the table before turning back around to make his. “I don’t really like work parties. I am not really a party person.”

“You don’t say,” You retort dryly, unable to imagine Seonghwa at a club at all.

He finishes with his coffee, sitting down across from you. This is the closest you’ve ever been to him. He smells like clean laundry. There isn’t a single wrinkle in his shirt. Everything about Seonghwa is a mixture of nerdy and professional.

“Sorry, am I talking too much? I get told I’m a chatterbox.”

“You’re fine. I don’t have anything interesting to say anyway, honestly. I just…didn’t feel like working this morning, I guess.” You look down at the cup of coffee, wondering why you feel increasingly uneasy at your job as of late.

Seonghwa falls silent for a moment and when you look back up at him, he averts his gaze quickly, clearing his throat. “It’s the routine. Gets to all of us. That’s why our free time is so valuable. You have to make it worth something to remember life is more than just…this.” He gestures to the surroundings. “You know, this is the most I’ve talked to you, I think. I know our jobs are pretty different so we don’t overlap a lot though.”

You hunch your shoulders forward, blowing on the coffee. Some part of you just wants to ask him – hey, I heard a rumor you’re a great fuck and I don’t understand how a thing could be possible. But that would be out of line so you keep it to yourself. You doubt Seonghwa is even aware such a rumor is going around about him.

Seonghwa’s smart watch beeps then and he looks at it before mumbling a curse under his breath. “Sorry, I forgot I have a call I need to be on in five minutes,” He stands, “But I’ll see you around?”

You are staring at the way that his long, slender fingers are curled around the disposable coffee cup. Were his fingers always that…dainty?

Seonghwa says your name and it snaps you out of your staring, looking up at him. “Right, yes. I’ll see you around. Thank you for the coffee.”

“It’s no problem,” He gives you a small wave, leaving you alone in the room with your thoughts.

If there is one thing you’ve been increasingly disliking lately, it’s your job. The second thing? Staying late for the job. It is ten minutes past five and the anger you feel sitting at your desk while listening to Sir Dipshit is enough to make you shriek.

You aren’t even sure what he is talking about. It began as a lecture about some e-mail you missed this morning and has now turned into a diatribe about his own day and how busy he is.

You are trying to pinpoint when your job started feeling like a weight around your neck. You make good money. You work for a major corporation that offers job security. You have your own place. Everything is neatly lined up. But blurting out to Seonghwa, of all people, that you didn’t want to be here this morning has made you start to really think. And you aren’t sure that you are going to like the answer.

As if conjured up by thinking about Seonghwa, he pops out of his cubicle with his bag, getting ready to leave for the day. As he brings his bag strap up around his shoulder, his shirt tightens for a split second against his chest. You blink, wonder if you just hallucinated how the fabric pulled against hard muscles. Seonghwa looked like he could be shoved in a body of water and his wet clothes could take him down. Thinking there was some hot body underneath all those clothes is just you creating things out of boredom.

His eyes land on you and he gives you a small smile. Sir Dipshit is oblivious, still going on. You’ve made making sounds of interest while not hearing a single word an art form at this point. To your surprise, Seonghwa walks over to you, nodding his head over to Sir Dipshit.

“Hey, I’m really sorry to interrupt but its ten minutes past five and I need to discuss something with her on the way out today,” He makes an apologetic face, “Sorry boss, I hope that’s alright.”

Sir Dipshit looks mildly startled as if being woken up out of a deep sleep. For fucks sake, even his brain goes on auto pilot with boring everyone to death. You aren’t about to turn away a rescue and quickly get out of your chair, grabbing your bag swiftly.

“Oh yeah, that’s right. That thing –”

“Right, that thing,” Seonghwa says, nodding vigorously.

“The thing with that call tomorrow! Yeah, let’s talk about that on the way out. Have a good night, sir,” You shoot this at your boss before turning around to walk out as quickly as possible to Seonghwa.

“Alright, uh, good talk!” Sir Dipshit calls out after you, “See you tomorrow at the party!”

Your back is to your boss as you rapidly press the elevator button. The doors glide open and you hurry inside as Seonghwa follows who immediately presses the button to shut the doors on the slim chance the boss wants to follow. He waves jovially until the doors shut.

“Thanks,” You say, “Was it that obvious I was trapped?”

“I just know how long he can talk for.”

“Nice touch there with the ‘ten mins after five’ thing.”

“Yeah, figured I would slide that in there and remind him the work day was technically over although honestly, I don’t think it stuck.”

“Probably not but I still appreciate it. Can’t stand how much Sir Dipshit talks.”

Seonghwa laughs at this, “‘Sir Dipshit’?”

“Oh, you haven’t heard that one? Yeah, it’s just what we call him.”

“I’ll have to keep it in mind.”

Seonghwa smiles at you, the sort of smile that feels as though you are standing directly underneath the summer sun as it warms your skin. The elevator doors open and the two of you walk across the main entrance hall of the building which still has a few people buzzing around.

“You park in employee parking?” You ask him, “What spot are you?”

“Oh, my place is close enough that I bike to work,” Seonghwa replies as he slides his bag straps onto his shoulder so it is now a backpack, his thumbs slipping underneath the straps as he holds onto them.

The sight of him in such a pose makes you think of those movies in which the nerds always walk like that. The only thing he’s missing is some tape around the middle part of his glasses. It strikes you once more how Seonghwa is just so not your type. Maybe the regional manager in Wherever the Hell city went for nerds like him but not you. No wonder she thought fucking him was the best sex of her life – Seonghwa is a walking nerd stereotype.

“Oh,” You say, mostly because the idea of biking to work seems so foreign of a concept, “I have to drive like twenty minutes or so to my place. You don’t have a car?”

“I do! It’s just…a gigantic piece of shit so I try not to drive it too much. Trust me, my bike is safer most times,” He replies, holding the door open for you.

“Thanks,” You say, stepping out into the evening air.

The sun is dipping behind the city skyline which makes you feel wistful. It seems like such a shame to spend all day inside.

“Well, I should head out now. I wanna pick up this new Lego kit that got released today. It’s of an Imperial Star Destroyer and I placed a preorder on it months ago.”

“Legos? Like those…building kits? With the blocks?”

“Yup,” He says cheerfully, “I love building Lego kits. It’s relaxing and keeps my hands busy.”

Reflexively, you glance at his hands wrapped around the straps of his bag. You swallow hard, feeling weird for some reason.

“You uh…like keeping your hands busy?” You say and immediately regret saying something that could be perceived as flirting.

But Seonghwa seems clueless to any potential interpretation and just nods. “Yeah, I also like painting those miniatures for DnD, you know?”

You absolutely don’t so you just give a non-committal nod. You picture him painting a tiny teapot or something, a look of avid concentration on his face as he worked, the tip of his tongue poking out as his long fingers hold onto a small brush.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow night,” He says, nodding his head at you, “Have a good night.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Seonghwa turns around, walking confidently down the sidewalk to the other side of the building where his bike must be waiting. You watch him as he goes, taking note of how his legs take long strides and people subtly move out of his way. Once he is gone out of view, you slowly make your way to your car, unlocking it and sliding into the driver seat. You stare at nothing in particular, wondering why you feel the way you do. It’s a mixture of dread at the work event tomorrow, anger that your little time away from the office is spent with people from the office, and something else that you cannot pinpoint.

It’s relaxing and keeps my hands busy.

“You’re really losing it,” You say aloud to yourself and start the car.

The rain smears the lights of the bar, distorting the building into a dark, grey smudge. You have delayed going inside for ten minutes now, struggling to motivate yourself into yet another ‘team event’. A few years ago, you didn’t mind these things. They were a bit dull but still manageable. But now, you can’t ignore the pit of dread in your stomach at spending more time around people you already spend too much time around.

With a small intake of breath, you get out of the car, scurrying quickly to the overhang before you can get too wet. Then, as if preparing yourself for battle, you exhale slowly and open the door.

You’ve arrived an hour late, something that you know Sir Dipshit will take note of, but it proved an impossible feat to get there on time given your mood. Your band of coworkers notice you immediately, waving you over.

Your eyes scan the crowd as you walk over, greeting them. It is too early in the night for anyone to be drunk yet and so the air is stiff, slightly formal, with top 40 pop radio playing a little too loudly.

“Fuck, you’re so late,” One of your coworkers says, “We were just wondering if you were gonna blow it off.”

“And I said you wouldn’t because Sir Dipshit would never let you live it down. And also that if you didn’t at least tell us you weren’t coming, we would be pissed.”

“Right,” You reply, not listening very much at all.

“Hello?” Your gossipy coworker waves her hand in front of your face, “Who are you looking for?”

“What?” Startled, you look around at the table, “I wasn’t looking for anyone. Just was seeing who was here.”

“No one interesting, if that is what you’re hoping,” chimes in one of your coworkers.

“Although,” Your gossipy coworker leans forward, lowering her voice, “Seonghwa is here tonight and I’m bored enough to want to see if the rumors about him are true.”

“He’s here?”

Your coworker motions in his direction with her drink. You follow to see Seonghwa at the bar alone, nursing a water. No one is talking to him but he doesn’t seem to mind much. He’s idly bobbing his head to the music while checking something on his phone.

Tonight, he’s wearing…are those yellow suspenders? You groan inwardly. His shirt is also a very pale yellow with small blue buttons. His pants are a soft grey, a belt looping around his waist with his shirt tucked in. As usual, his hair is a bit of a mess. He looks like a total dork, you think dismally.

“Looking tragic as usual,” One of your coworkers remarks with a giggle, “Please tell me you’re not actually going to try to have sex with him.”

Your gossipy coworker shrugs. “I mean, that rumor is pretty alluring. Maybe his nerd act is just a front and there’s something nasty lurking underneath.”

Your brain flashes back to him making you coffee in the break room, not minding it was ten in the morning or the fact you had blurted out that you didn’t want to be there. You suddenly are bored of the conversation and bored of talking about Seonghwa as if he is unauthentic.

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” You murmur, leaving the table and all their discussions of Seonghwa and what he is like in bed behind.

To your chagrin, Sir Dipshit sees you and waves you over. In no mood to talk to him, you wave back, pretending that you don’t understand he is trying to beckon you. At the bar counter, you order something, mentally calculating how much time you can spend here before leaving and not hearing any complaints from either your coworkers or boss.

As you wait for the drink, you idly glance down the bar. Seonghwa is all the way at the other side. Someone is talking to him although you don’t recognize who. He seems engaged in an easy conversation, his shoulders relaxed. He shakes his hair out of his eyes and leans back against the bar counter. The shirt tightens against his chest and upper arms –

Okay, you’re not hallucinating. Seonghwa definitely is in shape judging by the muscles pressing against the fabric. You swallow hard, your eyes trailing down his stomach to his waist.

She said not only was Seonghwa the best fuck she ever had but apparently he has a gigantic dick.

“Ma’am?”

Snapped out of your thoughts, you turn your attention to the bartender who has clearly tried to get your attention multiple times. Mumbling an apology, you take the drink. Your cheeks feel a little warm so you take a swig, liking the way it burns on the way down.

You are looking for your gossipy coworker, wondering if she was really going to try to sleep with Seonghwa. For some reason, the idea of having to listen to her talk about it makes you wanna scream and you aren’t even sure why. But the growing crowd has swallowed her up. Why do I give a shit if she has sex with Seonghwa? I barely thought about the guy until that rumor anyway.

“Hey.”

The voice startles you, lowering your gaze directly in front of you. Seonghwa stands there. Up this close, the lights of the bar lay across his skin as if cozying up to him. He still is holding onto his water, his long fingers circled around the cup casually. You swallow, looking away from his hands.

“Oh, hey, Seonghwa,” You try to think of something to ask that isn’t tied to the rumor about him and his big dick, “How was your…uh what was it again?”

“DnD?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Well, the group was still upset we had to shift the time back and the session was cut to six hours.”

“Six…hours?”

“Yeah, we usually aim for…maybe eight or more, depending. Enough to make good progress in the campaign.”

You have absolutely no idea what the hell he is talking about so you just nod.

“Hongjoong, oh sorry, that’s my best friend, well, we were supposed to do a dungeon today and he was upset cuz we didn’t finish it like we hoped cuz San’s bard got cursed so that sorta derailed everything.”

“The bard got cursed,” You deadpan.

“Yeah, Yeosang didn’t roll high enough so we got sidelined by dealing with that. But I mean, that is just part of the campaign right? It’s Jongho’s first time being dungeon master and he’s spent weeks putting this whole thing together. We weren’t sure how it was going to go because typically Hongjoong is the dungeon master but Jongho really wanted to try it.”

You have understood exactly two or three words the entire time Seonghwa is speaking but you are actually kinda relieved to be talking about something that has nothing to do with work. Taking another swig of your drink, you think of a question so Seonghwa will keep going.

“Do you do this every week?”

“Oh no, it would be too hard to try to have everyone’s schedule sync up weekly. There’s eight of us, after all. So sometimes a couple times a month – that’s what we shoot for.”

“Oh there you are,” Your coworker interrupts, slinking up with their empty glass, casting a glance over at Seonghwa before looking at you knowingly.

Their expression makes you feel defensive although you can’t pinpoint why. Flustered, you say, “Was just getting a drink.”

“Hi Seonghwa,” Their smile is slow and lazy across their face, “How are you?”

If Seonghwa has any idea as to why they are acting odd, he doesn’t show it. He just smiles in that bright way of his, greeting them by name. Your nerves are buzzing underneath your skin and you gulp down the rest of your drink before turning to the bartender, motioning for another one.

“Wow, making sure to take advantage of the free bar,” Your coworker quips in a tone that you mislike – in fact, you are starting to question your friendship with everyone in this entire building.

“You know it,” You mumble although your coworker doesn’t hear.

Seonghwa, however, does, and the look he shoots in your direction makes you feel as if he is rooting around in your brain and seeing every dreadful thought you’ve ever had.

Two hours later, you are drunk.

It is a mistake and you know it. You’ve never gotten drunk at a work function before. It’s unprofessional, for one, and secondly, drunk people at work parties tend to always make asses out of themselves.

But wow! It made talking to everyone so much easier. The mundane conversations about work slide through your brain like a lazy river in which you mentally bob in. Your coworkers, who are rehashing the same gossip they have all week – which unfortunately means more discussions about Seonghwa’s sexual prowess in bed – are pleasant hummings in your ear that you steadfastly ignore.

At some point, you have found a quiet corner that is near the bathrooms and the back exit. Slumped against the wall, you close your eyes as the floor wobbles unsteadily underneath your feet. You’re going to have to either Uber or ask for a ride home from a coworker. Neither sounds enticing but since you can’t drive, it’s your own fault. Surely, two hours is enough time here. Sir Dipshit will be too swept up in the drunken dancing that has started on the dance floor since everyone is now feeling intoxicated enough to embarrassingly do that in front of one another.

“Fuck, there you are. I’ve spent ten minutes looking for you,” Your gossipy coworker has suddenly appeared, ruining the solace of the spot you’ve found, “I’m bored and heading out. I tried talking to that Seonghwa guy a couple times and it’s like listening to paint dry. No sex is worth that. Are you coming with me? You clearly can’t drive,” You’re staring at your shoes and don’t reply. Your coworker huffs, “It’s really not like you to get plastered at these events. You’ve been acting so weird for months now.”

“Sorry,” You mumble although some part of your brain is annoyed that she is bringing this up now when she is well aware that you’re not sober.

“It’s fine, whatever. Just make sure you get an Uber or something, alright? We can get your car after work Monday.”

You hear the click clack of her heels as she saunters off, leaving you alone again. You’re feeling sleepy. It tugs on your brain like an annoying child. If the world stopped spinning for half a second…well, until then you will stay right here.

You aren’t sure how much time actually passes but someone’s shoes come into view next to yours as you stare at the floor. Surprised, you raise your head and find yourself looking at Seonghwa. A new song kicks up, with a heavy bass that seems to thrum up along your spine and into your brain.

“Seonghwa,” You mumble, blinking a few times to make yourself appear less intoxicated.

It doesn’t seem to work because he goes, “Hey, are you alright?”

For some reason, lying to him doesn’t enter your mind. “No. Also, I’m drunk.”

“I sorta gathered that,” But there is nothing mean in his words, it is just merely noting a factual observation.

Your hazy gaze focuses on Seonghwa. He appears to be perfectly sober. You recall him drinking water earlier. Good idea. You should have done the same. Now, a headache that is thumping in time to the music is beginning to grow louder. Your eyes drop down across the curve of his neck to his shoulders down to his small waist and you swallow, closing your eyes for a moment to banish whatever the hell is going on with you.

“Excuse me,” Someone says, storming past the two of you to head to the bathroom, colliding into Seonghwa as if he isn’t even there and pushing him towards you.

But your reaction speed is terrible, slowed by the alcohol and when your hands go to his abdomen to stop him from colliding, it is like an electric current snapping all the way to your thighs. Seonghwa is extremely close but there is no booze scent clinging to his clothes. And to your utter shock, the skin underneath your hands is firm and toned. Fuck, you think dizzily, see, I wasn’t making it up. But it didn’t matter if Seonghwa was fit or not – he just simply is not your type. You barely understand what he’s talking about most of the time.

He says something then but the music is too loud as is the rushing of blood to your head. His lips move, lips that are way too pretty and plump, by the way, not that you care, and you shrug, unable to hear what he is asking. He looks inquisitive but you’re distracted by how lithe and slender he is. Too pretty! Not your type! You scold yourself.

“Do you wanna dance?” You blurt out, cutting whatever he is saying off.

His eyes widen through his thick frames. Your hands are on his waist now and the two of you are almost pressed against one another. His cheeks are slightly flushed with just a hint of colour and when he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobs. He replies but you give a frustrated shake of your head.

“I can’t hear you!” You shout, probably way too loudly.

Seonghwa leans forward, centimeters from your body. He is bringing his face towards your neck and your heart skips a beat so intensely that for one drunken second you worry it’s going to pop out of your chest.

“I don’t really dance,” His voice seems to fill up your entire brain, taking over every sense you have, the cadence of his speech making your head swirl.

You think about the rumor about him and for the first time, maybe because you are drunk, allow yourself to wonder if it is actually true. There are lots of stereotypes about nerds – and not just that they have big dicks like your coworker said. There is the stereotype of them being virgins, fumbling around with no knowledge as to what to do. You just assumed Seonghwa belonged in that group from the little interactions you’ve had with him.

But if you were wrong…

When he pulls away, his face is near yours. He looks shy and when he glances downward, you know he is looking at your hands on his hips. You wonder if he is hard, wonder if you pulled him against you if you’d feel his big hard dick against your thigh. Your eyes flick to his hands, nervously flexing at his sides. Without the sober shield filtering out the thoughts you’ve been trying to steadfastly ignore since the rumor landed in your ears, you think about how fucking long his fingers are and how they’d feel buried in your cunt. For someone who isn’t your type, it sure is difficult not to want him.

Seonghwa pulls away then, tugging on the collar of his shirt for a couple of seconds. Your hands fall away from his body, his absence like a bucket of cold water being dumped on your head.

“You’re drunk,” This sentence is loud enough to hear – although is it directed at you or a reminder to him?

“I heard a rumor about you,” Your words are slurred.

“About me?” He says incredulously and then goes, “Should I call you an Uber?”

“Is your shitty little car here? Can you drive me home? I don��t…” It’s so difficult to concentrate in here. “I don’t feel safe being drunk in an Uber. I feel safe with you.”

The admission would take you by surprise if you weren’t spending a ton of energy in trying to stand upright. You’re so tired and the booze is tugging you downward.

Seonghwa looks taken aback but he nods. “Yeah, I drove here tonight. I’ll take you home.”

“Thank you,”

He glances at the crowded bar and gives a small shake of his head before pointing to the back exit. “Let’s go this way.”

You slur out some sort of affirmative answer as Seonghwa carefully leads you out into the night air. The fresh air makes your head spin and for a split second, you worry about throwing up. Luckily, you keep it together and Seonghwa takes you safely around the side of the bar towards his car.

“Wow, what a piece of shit,” You remark at the sight of the rust bucket.

“‘She may not look like much, kid, but she’s got it where it counts’,” Seonghwa recites as he unlocks the car and opens the passenger door for you.

Swaying on your feet, you go, “Are you quoting something at me?”

“It’s from Star Wars. Well, episode four, specifically.”

“Right, I knew that. I saw that one. I think.” You manage to get into the car without making a complete ass of yourself.

Seonghwa ducks his head inside to bring your seatbelt across from you, buckling it in securely. Some of his hair falls in front of his face while doing so and you can smell the faint hint of jasmine.

“You smell good,” You mumble, “What shampoo is that?”

He chuckles softly, pulling away and closing the door, walking around the car to slide into the driver’s seat. His car is clean even though it’s so old that it has a CD player. It also vibrates a lot as if the engine is trying to escape.

You rest your head against the back of the seat, so tired that you are going to doze off any second. Synthwave music plays quietly as Seonghwa snaps in his own seatbelt.

“What’s your address? Hey, don’t fall asleep yet on me.”

You tilt your head in his direction, opening your eyes. He is looking at you with his fingers curled around the steering wheel. You wonder what it’d be like to sit in his lap. You wonder what noises he makes when he is turned on.

"I heard a rumor about you,” You say again sleepily.

“Yeah, you mentioned although I don’t know what anyone has to say about me. What, do they say I LARP or…still use IRC or something?”

“Dunno what either of those are.”

In the darkness of the car, the lights from the radio and CD player dance across Seonghwa’s skin. You want to pull on his suspenders when you ride him. Your thighs clench. You can’t recall a time you’ve been this horny recently and it’s over the nerdiest guy to ever work in the office. Something is totally wrong with you, as confirmed by your coworker earlier in the night.

Seonghwa angles his body towards you, one hand still on the steering wheel. “Then what is it?”

A very tiny logical part of you is trying to get yourself to shut up. But the much larger drunken part of you is not thinking clearly, is not even thinking ahead a little bit at all so you blurt out, “There’s a rumor going around that you’re really good at sex.”

Seonghwa’s eyes widen so large that you might as well fall into them. It’s too dark to know if he is blushing but he turns away from you, staring out the front dash of the car.

Oblivious to whatever he might be feeling, you continue, “And also that you have a big dick.”

“W-what?!” He exclaims, still unable to look at you.

“Right? That’s what I said. I said…no way! No offense.”

He is silent, mulling this over. In fact, you are almost half asleep by the time he replies carefully, “That’s why everyone is talking to me this week. I was wondering why…I just thought…I don’t know what I thought…” He sounds almost dejected and it makes you feel sad. “I mean, including you.”

Suddenly feeling ashamed, you try to say something but the words come out garbled because your drunken brain doesn’t jive well with the sudden panic that hits you.

But Seonghwa shakes his head, brushing the word salad to the side. “You’re drunk so we won’t talk about it now.”

You go quiet as does he. The silence seems to stretch into infinity. You want to apologize but he isn’t wrong. You did start talking to him because of the rumor. Maybe that makes you just as bad as your gossipy coworker debating having sex with him. But then you think once again of the kind way he made you coffee, and the fact he had you exit the bar from the back so everyone wouldn’t see how drunk you are. You weren’t lying when you told him that he made you feel safe. But you’re just too drunk to try to formulate any of that into words.

Your eyes close, losing the battle against sleep. You are distantly aware of Seonghwa asking for your address again but it’s too late and you drift off.

When your eyes open next, they are looking at an unfamiliar ceiling, your head is throbbing and your mouth is so dry that your tongue is stuck to the roof of it. With a small groan, you sit up slightly, trying to remember what the hell happened and where you are.

You’re in someone’s bed which would be alarming if you weren’t still completely dressed in your clothes from last night. The only thing missing are your shoes since you spot your large purse next to the closed door. The bed sheets smell clean and you aren’t even under the covers, just laying unceremoniously on the top. There is a dresser on one side of the room that has a familiar looking robot built out of Lego parts resting on the top.

It’s the sight of Legos that bring a whole slew of memories back to you. The drinking, your coworkers discussing Seonghwa – oh God, Seonghwa. You recall the way he looked, how he felt so close to you, him offering to drive you home and then –

You groan again, burying your face in your hands. Fuck, I told him about the rumor, my big drunk mouth. He had looked crestfallen, hadn’t he? He must have assumed the random uptick in people talking to him this week had been for a reason but not for that…

Including you.

The words he uttered bounce around in your head, the guilt sliding around in your stomach like disgusting jelly. For a split second, you think you’re going to vomit because of the hangover but manage to hold things down. Very carefully, you swing your legs out of bed and stand up, closing your eyes as your head throbs painfully.

Stopping only briefly to look at a bookshelf in the corner that had the largest and nerdiest assortment of books possible, you open the bedroom door and step out into the living room.

The living room is just a tidy space, clean and comfortable. The window shows the blue sky and the tops of trees, indicating you’re not on the ground floor. There is a stack of books on the glass coffee table. A large PC is near the window with three monitors. Another small table near the front door has a low hanging light over it, littered with paints and miniatures alongside multiple Lego boxes on a smaller shelf.

The couch has a pillow and a blanket on it. Another stab of guilt hits your chest. He had given up his bed for you.

You hover in the doorway, taking in the fact that the living room is somehow exactly what you expected and not at all. Slowly, you walk across the space towards the kitchen where you find Seonghwa. He is making coffee and looks up at the sound of you entering.

“Hey,” You say quietly, “What uh…time is it?”

“It’s a little past ten. So, not too late. Would you like some coffee?”

“Would it be alright if I took a shower? I don’t want to impose. It just helps with the hangover.”

Seonghwa is in an oversized Star Wars long sleeved shirt and sweatpants. His socks have odd looking dice on them that you don’t recognize. His large glasses rest on the bridge of his nose as usual. It’s the first time you’ve seen him wearing something other than business attire.

“Sure, let me just get you the towels. Uhm, would you like some clothes? I can dig out some older clothes of mine, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

A few minutes later, Seonghwa is handing you towels, a large black shirt with a faded design on it (from a video game, he explained) and sweatpants. You rummage around your purse to dig up your emergency Stayed The Night makeup bag. This was the first time you were using it after just sleeping over at a guy’s house and not having sex with him. But you’re glad it’s in there since it has toothpaste, a small toothbrush and some other items you need.

It’s always a gamble going into any man’s bathroom, and it is with a tentative push of the door that you step inside. However, just like the living room, it is clean and organized. Seonghwa even has actual skincare products by the sink. The shower is clean with high end shampoo, conditioner and body wash (also all in separate bottles!).

Underneath the hot water, you wash off the night before. You wash off avoiding Sir Dipshit, you wash off the fact you feel disconnected from your coworkers, you even wash off your gossipy coworkers remark about how you’ve been different.

But you can’t wash off the expression your drunken brain still remembers when you told Seonghwa the rumor. And you can’t wash off the way you felt around him last night when you asked him to dance nor the thoughts you had about him. You haven’t been that turned on around someone in so long. It’s cuz you were drunk, you argue with yourself. Seonghwa just isn’t your type.

After the shower, you dry off, finish cleaning up and change into Seonghwa’s clothes. The shirt is soft, well worn, baggy on your frame and the sweatpants are a little long. But they smell nice and are comfortable. You stare at yourself in the mirror, running your fingers over the fabric. I need to make things right with him. He’s a nice person and he’s been kind to me and now he thinks I only started talking to him because of the rumor.

And to make matters worse, that’s the truth.

Seonghwa is sitting on the couch, two cups of coffee perched on the table. He has a book open in his lap, reading quietly. Tentatively, you sit down opposite him, reaching for the coffee while peering at the cover of the book. It’s some Star Wars book. It looks older than you expected, well worn, and there’s a man has blue skin with red eyes on the cover.

“Thanks for letting me use your shower…and your clothes. And uh…for getting me here safely. And for taking me out the back way so no one saw I was being a messy drunk.”

Seonghwa rests the book next to his coffee, picking up the cup and taking a small sip. The silence is starting to feel awkward now and you wish he would say something.

So, you decide just to leap into it. “Listen, about what I said last night. About the ah…. rumor.” Your cheeks feel warm from just mentioning it. You never thought you’d actually be discussing this with him.

Seonghwa’s hands wrap around the cup as he looks shyly down. His lashes are long, longer than when you spend too much on an overpriced mascara to try to get the same effect.

“Can you…explain how you heard something like this about me?” Seonghwa asks quietly, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

You push through how awkward this is going to be and tell him the entire story of how your coworker mentioned it over coffee. By the time you are done, Seonghwa has turned a deep crimson, his coffee long forgotten after being placed back on the table because he is so embarrassed. Silence hangs in between the two of you for a minute or so. You don’t press him to speak, figuring he deserves some time to sort out how he’s feeling about the entire thing.

“It’s true that I went to the conference and slept with that regional manager. I figured since she lived across the country, it wouldn’t really matter,” He squirms uncomfortably, “I didn’t think she would talk about it and I certainly didn’t think it would spread all over the office. I didn’t know why there was an uptick in people talking to me this week. I didn’t ever dream it could be tied to…that. When it came to us…I guess I thought…uhm maybe you and I were becoming friends.”

You feel a pang in your chest and move closer to Seonghwa, trying to salvage the conversation. “We are friends,” As soon as the words leave your mouth, you know they’re true. Maybe the two of you are very different but Seonghwa still makes you feel safe and seems to see you in a way that everyone else is missing.

But he looks doubtful. “But you only started talking to me because…” He glances at you only for a split second. “Were you trying to…I mean…you and I…” He trails off, wringing his hands together.

You stare at his hands, swallowing. No, you’re not my type. I was curious but there isn’t any attraction there, is what you want to say. The words would be so easy. A quick band-aid over a situation that has gotten out of hand.

“That explains last night. Before we left,” He mumbles bashfully, “I thought maybe I was reading too much into it but you wanted to dance and…” He can’t finish his sentence again but you don’t need him to; you still clearly can recall how it felt to be that close to him and all the lascivious thoughts that popped into your head. You also can’t deal with the fact Seonghwa was worried he was reading too much into it when you were obviously all over him.

You feel stuck. To tell him that you hadn’t thought about him in that way last night would be a lie. But to tell him would be admitting aloud to yourself that Seonghwa, the nerdiest guy you’ve ever met, is someone you’re attracted to. You’ve been protesting the entire time, to your coworkers, and to yourself that Seonghwa isn’t your type and you don’t see him that way. But…

You feel nervous which is strange because you can’t recall the last time you were nervous around someone you found attractive. But Seonghwa, who seems to be as fragile as fine china, is in your hands at this moment. One wrong move and you’re going to drop him and make things even worse.

“Well…uh…usually, you know, I don’t go for the…nerdy type.” Would he be insulted by that? “I was curious because I couldn’t picture such a thing. Like you…being like that. In bed. With the…you know.” You gesture vaguely, unable to mention his rumored big dick again now that you’re sober.

“Right, yeah, of course,” He says quickly, too quickly, “I get that. And I know what people are like when drunk. Not thinking clearly.” Seonghwa looks as if he wants to flee which only makes you talk faster.

“But you were so nice to me. With the coffee. I’ve been…struggling with work lately.” That puts it mildly. “And you were there when I needed someone. And I wasn’t…lying. Last night. When I said that I feel safe with you.”

He looks a little more comforted by this, enough that he is looking up at you through those long lashes.

“But I also…You know…uhm…” You trail off, unsure how to word the next part. Seonghwa looks at you curiously. God, it would be so easy to lie and let him believe I was just drunk last night and that was the end of it, you think.

In fact, any regular person would leap at the lie and use it as a cover. But Seonghwa is still wringing his fucking hands together and you keep watching his fingers and you can’t believe it but you think you’re getting wet again – and this time you can’t blame booze. His entire posture, a mixture of tense and awkward, is strangely endearing. You quickly wonder what he would sound like in bed again and then try to banish the thought.

You’ve been quiet for so long that Seonghwa gently goes, “You were saying?”

But you aren’t really sure what you’re saying. Naturally, that means you keep going. “I do…wonder. If…maybe you’d want to…as friends…with benefits. Because like I said you’re not my type but my body seems to be like…reacting to you…ever since I heard the rumor. And I want to know if the rumor has merit.”

Wow, amazing. Fantastic speech. Not only were most of your sentences unfinished but you basically asked Seonghwa to have sex with you just to see how your body responds like it’s a science experiment.

Seonghwa is turning red again. His voice is slightly hoarse when he replies with, “Are you – ah. Are you asking to have sex with me? As friends?”

“Y…yes.”

Seonghwa’s breathing quickens and he looks away for a moment. You immediately want to crawl in a hole and hide.

“I’m sorry,” You say hastily, “I don’t know what’s come over me. I tell you we’re friends and then immediately ask you for sex after offending you with some ridiculous rumor.” Your hands grip your knees, bracing yourself to stand up and to get out of here as quickly as possible. “Listen, I’m going to get my stuff and go. I’m just gonna Uber back to my place, don’t worry about it –”

Seonghwa’s hand suddenly rests gently on top of yours. The touch knocks the breath out of your lungs. You stare at the sight of his long fingers extending over yours, his hand warm against your skin.

“Okay,” is all he says quietly.

Hardly daring to look up from the sight of his hand, you lock eyes with him. He is still blushing but looks resolute.

“Uhm,” You exhale, “Sorry, I’ve never started a sexual encounter like this before.”

“Me either,” Seonghwa shifts nervously and then says, “How about I just kiss you and if you like it, we can keep going? If you don’t feel anything, then it’s just the rumor clogging your head.”

“S-sure.”

Seonghwa carefully raises his other hand up towards your cheek, brushing against your skin with the back of his fingers. You shiver at the small touch, staring at him as he shifts closer to you. Acutely aware of how utterly surreal this is, you can only look at him as he cups your cheek. He grazes your lips with his thumb and your lips reflexively part at the touch. Your entire body feels as if it is tingling.

You try to tamper down any expectations when Seonghwa leans forward to kiss you. You’re expecting the kiss to be awkward and messy in that unskilled way. You are waiting for him not to know what to do with his tongue and just roll it around in your mouth. Then, you’d tell him thanks but the rumor obviously had taken over your mind and it is better to remain friends without benefits.

But then Seonghwa’s lips do touch yours as you close your eyes. It is a jolt to all your senses, white noise in your head as he kisses you so gently at first that you could imagine the touch. Your breath catches, heart rate accelerating as the kiss continues. His hand resting on top of yours gives a small squeeze, his other hand trailing to the back of your neck.

You can feel yourself melting into the kiss, the tension seeping out of your body as Seonghwa’s tongue slips inside your mouth. There is a heat blossoming in your chest as your thighs clench. He trails small circles against your skin on your lower neck, making you shiver. Your tongue is against his now, your hand moving upwards to grip the front of his shirt, crumpling the Star Wars image up in your fist. He makes a small noise that only spurns you on more. You pull on the shirt so that he is closer, sliding into his lap, straddling him on the couch.

Something drives you forward with reckless abandon, throwing caution to the wind and replacing it with desire. Seonghwa seems to mirror your feelings, his hands moving to your lower back, wiggling underneath the shirt to touch your bare skin. He presses down slightly, pushing you against him.

You can feel the bulge in his sweatpants now and with a jolt, you think that maybe the rumor about the size is going to be true. Your hands are in his hair, his soft blonde locks curled around your fingers as the kissing continues.

Your hangover is now a distant thought; making out with Seonghwa seems to be a miracle cure for a headache. Instinctively, you grind your hips against his bulge and he inhales sharply. His hands move to your ass, gripping the tender flesh there in his hands in a silent urge for you to keep going. You rock your hips against him, your pussy soaking wet. So much for just a kiss, you think dryly, marveling at the way your body responds to Seonghwa.

His phone suddenly rings, jolting you a little by the noise. He glances over at it – it is on the kitchen counter – and gives a small shake of his head.

“Ignore it,” He mumbles and you don’t mind doing that at all, resuming the kiss easily.

The phone falls silent. Seonghwa’s breathing is heavy, mingling with your own, and kissing is becoming not enough. You want more and when he begins to kiss down your jawline and your neck, you reach behind you to take one of his hands and bring it forward, guiding him underneath the band of your sweatpants.

He doesn’t hesitate now that you’ve given silent permission. You’ve been thinking about his hands ever since the rumor made you turn attention towards him and now Seonghwa presses his palm against the front of your underwear as his lips find yours again.

You don’t think you’ve ever been this wet in your life. When the kiss breaks, you take in the sight of Seonghwa, breathless, his chest rising and falling quickly. His cheeks are tinted pink and his eyes are wide behind his large frames. You think about the times you’ve taken note of him in the past – a couple seconds of walking past him quickly in the hallway, not paying any attention because he came off as such a wallflower or zoning out when he talked in a meeting because you never could understand what he was saying and it made you feel stupid and insecure, and even the couple of times you giggled over someone making a joke at his expense. And now here you are, in his lap, with his hand against your cunt and every nerve in your body screaming for him. Jokes on me.

Seonghwa pushes your underwear to the side, his fingers probing your folds as he leans forward and kisses you again. The sensation of his fingers touching you is making you dizzy. From this angle, it’s too difficult for his fingers to enter you which is about the only thing in the entire world you want at this moment.

Muffled because of the kissing, you mumble, “Will you – your fingers –”

To your surprise, Seonghwa smiles for a second against your lips. You pull away, just enough to see his expression. “What?” You ask.

“Nothing, I just…I noticed you looking at my hands a lot the past few days.”

Now it is your turn to feel embarrassed. “Oh, I…” You don’t really know what to say. It’s difficult to think when all you want is him.

“Here, sit next to me,” He pats the space next to him and you slide off his lap.

Seonghwa then gets on the floor in front of you, reaching upwards and sliding your sweatpants off your hips, leaving you in just your underwear and his borrowed t-shirt. He brings two fingers to the front of your underwear, pressing down on the fabric. “Well, she said he ate pussy like a champ.” Your coworker’s words bounce around in your head as Seonghwa removes your underwear and pushes your legs open so that you’re spread out in front of him.

It’s a bit surreal to be in Seonghwa’s apartment on a Sunday morning, sitting on his couch half naked, with him on his knees in front of your pussy. His hands grip your thighs, pushing your legs apart as far as comfortable. You stare at the way his fingers dig into your skin, wanting nothing more than to have them buried in your cunt just to see what it feels like.

But he leans forward and very carefully, using just the tip of his tongue, he flicks it across your swollen clit. You shudder, gasping but Seonghwa keeps a firm grip on your thighs to keep you spread in front of him. He doesn’t stop, using the tip of his tongue to stimulate your clit. Your hands grip the cushions of the couch, unable to tear your gaze away from the sight of Seonghwa’s tongue brushing against your nub. His eyes are closed and no matter how much your body shakes from the pleasure, his hold on your thighs doesn’t lessen, keeping you in place.

You are cursing loudly, taken aback by just how good he can make you feel with the tip of his tongue. His pace steadily increases against your clit. Your hips buck but he doesn’t stop, his tongue expertly dancing over your sensitive nub.

Distantly, you are aware his phone is ringing again. But he doesn’t stop and you aren’t about to bring things to a halt for a fucking phone call. You thought Seonghwa would be messily rolling his tongue around – or even worse, just focusing on your hole and wondering why you couldn’t finish. The rumor saying he could eat pussy seemed as ridiculous as all the other aspects of what your coworker told you.

Forcing your eyes open, you look down at Seonghwa working your clit. There is something sexy about how he looks, with his eyes closed, using just the tip to make you feel this good, and his hands holding you in place. Even his glasses, usually something you found so dorky before, look good on him now.

He still hasn’t put his fingers inside you but your climax is rapidly approaching. You want to try to tell him you’re close but speaking is impossible. All that leaves your mouth are garbled noises of pleasure and occasionally you whine out his name. Your knuckles are white from gripping the cushions and your orgasm suddenly begins, hips bucking but Seonghwa holds them down.

Your head rolls back against the couch as the pleasure overtakes you. Your entire body tingles, skin incredibly warm. Seonghwa slows down as you cum until your hips lower back down. Only then he pulls away. Breathless, you can’t even look down at him because your body feels heavy from how intense the orgasm was.

Seonghwa releases his hold on your thighs but quietly goes, “Leave your legs spread, I want to see your pussy.”

It’s the first time something vulgar has left his mouth this entire time and it turns you on. Having talked to Seonghwa only a couple of times very quickly prior to this week, you never thought you’d hear such a sentence from him especially directed at you.

Finally, he brings his fingers to your cunt, spreading your lips open slightly. “Can I ask you something?”

You think you reply but it comes out a bit garbled.

But Seonghwa takes it as an affirmative and goes, “Last night, when you asked me to dance…what were you thinking about?” To your amazement, he actually looks shy after asking even though he just made you cum thirty seconds ago.

This meant you had to form words now, an arduous task given the circumstances. “I was wondering if you were in shape because sometimes the way your work clothes looked on you…and I was thinking about if the rumors about you were true. And…” You swallow, “I was thinking about your fingers and how long they were.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Seonghwa slides a finger in your hole, making you gasp in both relief and surprise. He looks a bit satisfied and you realize he must have known you were thinking about his fingers and just wanted to hear you admit it.

“What do you think?” He murmurs, “Does it feel long?”

His finger is completely buried in your cunt and he wiggles it slightly, making you clamp down around it instinctively. Seonghwa’s eyes move upwards to look at you, taking in the sight of you whimpering and clearly wanting more.

He inserts another finger while going, “Does it feel how you thought it would?” Slowly, he moves his two fingers in your cunt, and you can hear how soaking wet your hole is.

You watch, entranced at the sight of Seonghwa’s long and slender fingers pumping in your cunt. Each time he pulls them out, you can see your juices smeared across his skin before he pushes them back inside. He wiggles them each time they are buried in your hole and it feels so good that you don’t think you can talk. You try to move your hips in time with his fingers but his other hand keeps your hips down against the couch.

The phone is ringing again. You’d wish it would shut up already. Seonghwa seems too dazed to even notice, staring at your cunt swallowing his fingers.

“Is that the sort of thing you were thinking about? How my long fingers would feel in your tight cunt?” He asks softly, “You’re really tight. I don’t know how I’m going to fit inside you.”

The confession catches your breath because he is teasing you now, skirting around the rumor about his big dick without showing you.

“You can barely take my fingers. You think you can take another one?”

“Yes,” You breathe out, “I can. I can take your cock too.”

“We’ll see about that, baby,” He murmurs and the affectionate use of ‘baby’ makes you shiver.

Another finger dips into your hole as Seonghwa finger fucks you. His pace has steadily increased but with three fingers, you can feel your hole jammed full of him. He’s right, you are tight and you don’t know how you’d take his apparent big cock but the universe knows you’d be trying.

Seonghwa leans forward and wraps his lips around your clit while finger banging your hole as much as your cunt allows. You groan, the pleasure spiking, your hand grabbing onto his blonde hair as he finally releases his hold on your hips. This allows you to grind your pussy against his fingers as he sucks hard on your clit. To your amazement, you know that you’re going to cum again already. He doesn’t let up on your clit or your hole, his fingers making obscene noises from how wet you are. When he wiggles them inside you, it’s enough to make your brain hazy with pleasure.

You curse as your second climax begins. You can feel yourself gushing around his fingers, your juices smearing all over his fingers down to his palm. You’re grinding against his face, probably making a mess on his glasses too for all you know but cannot stop yourself. You’re moaning and whimpering, your head pressing against the back of the couch as the pleasure becomes overwhelming.

Collapsing against the couch when the orgasm begins to fade, you can hardly catch your breath. Your entire body tingles. You cannot recall the last time you had someone make you cum that close together. You didn’t even know it was possible.

Opening your eyes, you look downwards at Seonghwa. He has pulled his fingers out of your hole and put them in his mouth, tasting you. His glasses are slightly askew and messy in the most pornographic way. His tongue swirls around his fingers. The entire image is immediately burned into your brain.

The phone rings again. Annoyed, you glare at it on the counter. “Should you answer that?” Not that you don’t want to hop on his dick immediately but the mere fact they won’t stop calling makes you worry something bad has happened and you’re keeping Seonghwa from it for your own selfish reasons.

“I should although admittedly I don’t want to,” He replies, standing up.

The bulge in his pants is evident and large. You hope the phone call won’t take long so you can jump on him. It’s amazing how he’s made you cum twice already but you still want more.

He looks at his phone and frowns. “It’s work,” He directs this at you before answering, “Hello?” A long pause as someone rambles on the other end. Then, “No one else can help you with this?” More silence, more rambling from the other end. “No, I’m just…I’m in the middle of something, that’s all,” He mumbles, shooting you a glance, “Yeah, I get it. No, we don’t want that to happen. Yeah, give me an hour, alright?”

Your stomach falls as Seonghwa ends the call and looks chagrined. “I’m sorry. I gotta go into the office. The new guy fucked up the software update push and it’s gotta go out today before everyone else comes back tomorrow.”

You distantly remember a meeting two weeks ago about a software update but since it had more to do with Seonghwa’s side than yours, you spaced out. That had been happening a lot lately.

Still, you suddenly feel shy and embarrassed, quickly snatching up your underwear off the floor. “Right, yeah, I get it.”

“Let me drive you home on my way in,” He says hurriedly, scampering back over as you slip your underwear back on.

You really don’t want to Uber after being half fucked, in another man’s clothes, slightly hungover so you accept. Seonghwa looks relieved; he is jittery like he expects you to be mad over the fact he has to go to work. He sits down next to you, looks as if he is going to reach for your hand and then has second thoughts.

“I’m sorry again,” He says.

You want to laugh. Seonghwa, the least likely guy on the planet, just made you cum twice and he’s apologizing? You aren’t even sure for what. You reach up for his glasses, gently removing them from his face. He looks confused.

“You might wanna clean these before you go in,” You say quietly and he realizes the state they are.

He blushes, nodding. “Y-yeah, good idea. Thanks.” He takes the glasses back, scurrying off to get cleaned up for work.

You sit there, torn between confusion over where exactly this left you and Seonghwa, how a guy like him could make you feel so good, and what happens next.

Well, you think, at least I know one part of the rumor is definitely true. He really can eat pussy like a champ.

PART TWO HERE.

🌻 Tags: @thewonderofkpop - @obligatoryidolblog - @yunhofingers - @foggyinternetchaos - @multiland - @whatudowhennooneseesyou - @jess-1404 - @just-here-to-read-01 - @likexaxdaydream - @senpai-of-doom - @lilhwahwa - @btsreader12 - @talkbykhalid - @pyeonghongrie-main - @inneratinyrebel - @8tinytings - @cherrypandora - @almondmilkeu - @kitten4sannie - @hwalysm - @revehosh - @mulletjoonsupremacy - @byungaji - @erensluut - @singularity777 - @hwa-whiskers - @luxvatz - @seonghwasstar - @eyesonlyformingi - @rxnexxi - @rosealie05 - @xirenex - a couple of you couldn’t be tagged so i’ll message you separately, sorry.

#seonghwa smut #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fics #ateez smut #ateez fics #wallflower #kpop fic #100 notes #500 notes #1000 notes

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bunny-rambles · 6 months

Note

Hi! I hope you're doing okay!

I have a request if you don't mind.

I go so silent when im owerwhelmed. To the rate its so hard for me talk. I wont be able to join to the conversation even if i really want to. At those days, i just need some cuddles and affection.

What if reader just comes back to home and the character is just laying on the couch and reader lays on top of then without saying anything, just listening to their heartbeat? Can i request it with scara, albedo, kazuha, venti and whoever you want to add?

Have a good day💕

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“I’m Here.”

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characters; Scaramouche, Albedo, Venti, Kazuha, gn reader

cw/tw; talks of low mood and anxiety, hurt/comfort

word count; 500+ for each

notes; Hi, thank you so much for this request, sorry it took so long, it just takes forever to get my inspiration going nowadays. I hope you’re still here to enjoy this <3 it’s been stuck in wip hell but it’s finally here now, enjoy. (If some people want to, I’ll see if I can do a part 2 with some other characters. I’m thinking Wriothesley and Neuvillette. Let me know what you think.)

Please reblog if you like this!!

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Scaramouche

“Hey, are you even listening?”

Tired eyes move up towards the small crowd of people around you, focusing on the unimpressed pair of eyes burning their gaze into you. Your hand is idly tapping your pen against the empty piece of paper in front of you, but it quickly stops the second you feel the suffocating feeling in your chest from your entire table watching your every move.

“Sorry.” You apologise quietly, only to turn your head away from your classmate, who just scoffs at your haphazard reply and continues on with whatever they were talking about, their jargon falling on deaf ears.

If you were being honest, you could care less about the topic of the conversation.

Today was just one of those days where you felt that heavy feeling in your head, that light fluttering in your stomach. It felt like something was wrong, but nothing had happened to make you like this. Nothing in the typical sense, anyway. No event to trigger such a reaction, not even a snide whisper about you that caught your attention - nothing. You just felt, to sum it up in one word, overwhelmed.

Silently, you slipped out of your seat and snuck away when the conversation had moved on from your strange behaviour, the feeling all consuming at this point. When you were alone, there was only one thought in your mind: find him.

There were a lot of people who didn’t even bother to try to find out his name, only giving him a simple nickname due to his peculiar style. But not you. No, you were the odd one out, the only one in the entire Akademiya who sought out the company of the sharp-tongued vagrant. Perhaps you were the only one who could understand the true meaning of his biting remarks, the only one who knew just how understanding he could be.

He wasn’t in the lecture today, or anywhere in the Akademiya. That wasn’t too much of an issue. He had told you where you could find him if you really needed him (‘or whatever’, you recall him mumbling as his violet eyes shied away from yours, rose blooming so delicately on his porcelain cheeks).

So your feet moved on their own, stumbling along until you came to a quiet opening in the surrounding mountains of Sumeru. And there he was, perched on the edge of the hill that was overlooking the scenery of the entire city - a silent protector. He looked serene, calm in the gentle glow of the sunbeams shining down on the peak of the rocky formation. Maybe it would be best not to disturb him - you couldn’t even remember the last time he looked so at peace with the world.

You took a step back. A branch snapped noisily under your foot, causing the wanderers head to whip around to face you. His brief look of surprise is quickly replaced with his usual look of indifference.

“Oh, it’s you.” He sounded bored, but not aggravated by your presence. This was a good sign for him. But when you didn’t respond, the blank look on his face shifted as he raised an eyebrow at your lack of response. “Well? Spit it out. What do you want?” He prompted again, albeit a little harshly.

But no matter how much you wanted to tell him why you were there, no words would leave your mouth. It was like your lips were just sealed shut.

Instead, you just sat down beside him, your fingers dancing with one another in your lap. Your lips moved, shaping the words that wanted to come out, but no sound accompanied them. A heavy sigh left your lips, already feeling defeated with not being able to do one simple thing right today.

Luckily, you didn’t need to. With an exhale of breath that matched your own, you heard the rustling of fabric by your side as the puppet opened his arms for you.

“Come here.” He ordered in a soft voice, his eyes avoiding your own. When you didn’t respond immediately, obviously in complete surprise with what you were witnessing, he grumbled something under his breath, too quiet for you to understand. Red began to bleed through his white skin, his teeth gritting together before he spoke again. “I don’t have all day. Now come here before I change my mind.”

Soon, his arms were around you, wrapping you up in his comforting embrace when you finally shuffled towards him. And here, nothing could hurt you, not while all you had to focus on was his fingers rubbing deep, comforting circles in your back. His chin rested atop of your head, mainly to hide the gentleness present in his features as he held you close to his chest. If only he had a heart, just so you could listen to the gentle pounding of it against his chest whenever he touched you. Instead, you heard a soft breeze right next to your ear, flowing in time with the pulsing light of his vision with each time his chest raised to take a breath.

There were no words exchanged between the two of you, only the sweet sounds of birds chirping, and that same gentle breeze that surrounded the both of you while you stayed in one another's arms.

Venti

The door swung open with a loud crash against the wall, a cheerful laugh accompanying the startling sound. “Oh, Windblume! Are you home?” The melodic voice of the bard sang out through his shared home of his partner.

Silence.

This did not deter him, however, as he hummed a quiet tune to himself as he set the freshly picked apples along large bottle of dandelion wine on the table, his hands going to his hips as he listened for the tell-tale sound of your soft footsteps or the sweet cadence of your voice. But once again, the young man was met with an eerie quietness.

“Huh. Guess they’re not home.” Viridescent eyes scan their surroundings before landing on a small note hidden away in the corner of the room, neatly placed on the very desk you had been working at so tirelessly these past few days.

‘At Windrise.’

Oh. So it was one of those days. No matter, he knew exactly what to do when you weren’t feeling your best. After quickly grabbing a couple of apples from the large bag he had carried home, he was already on his way to come find you.

And find you he did, sat alone underneath the towering tree with your head in your hands, looking devoid of any positive emotions. Even in the embrace of the winds of freedom, you still felt tied down from the thoughts swarming in your head. The gentle wind around you playfully tussled your hair, but it did very little to quell the storm raging inside of you, its thunder petrifying. There was a rustle above you in the leaves of the great tree, a few fluttering down to gently graze against your cheeks, like nature's soft kisses. And then a head emerged from them, a wide smile on the owner's face.

“Hello there!” Venti greeted with his signature wink, his twin tails swaying in the wind, his forehead exposed from hanging upside down from the branch. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight, your hand reaching out to carefully pull a few stray leaves out of his hair. He swung himself with his legs to press a kiss against your cheek, an airy laugh coming from him before he finally hopped down to take his place next to you. “I brought you something, but it might be a little bruised now.”

The bard giggled sheepishly before pulling out one of the apples he had grabbed earlier, throwing it up in the air for you to catch. Your hands cradled the ripe fruit, treating it as a precious treasure before you brought it up to your lips for a bite. A sigh left your lips from the sweet taste coating your tastebuds, the flavour almost sinful. But how could it be with the god who gave it to you right by your side? No, this was heavenly. Paradise was in your hand, and you couldn’t help but take another bite, showing off a thankful smile towards your partner who was already tucking into his own.

You expected him to speak, to fill the air with jokes or light hearted chatter. However, the only thing that made any noise right now was the petals of the nearby asters and the tweeting of songbirds. The archon beside you was quiet, waiting for you to speak first. And if you didn’t feel up to talking, that was okay too. He was going to be by your side, no matter how you felt. Much like the wind he commanded, he would always be with you, even on your bad days. No words were exchanged between the two of you. Instead, your head leaned closer to his until your cheek was pressed up against his shoulder, a deep sigh leaving your lips. But this time, it was filled with content instead of your previous anxiety. Venti’s hand that wasn’t holding his own apple gently cradled your head, his fingers lightly threading through your soft hair.

“My dear Windblume, you’ve worked so hard.” He finally spoke, his soft cheek resting lightly against the top of your head, like the softest of feathers.

“Don’t be afraid… I’m here.”

Kazuha

It had been a long day.

A fight with the endless stacks of paper at your desk had left you feeling drained, the walls of your bedroom feeling almost like a prison instead of a sanctuary for dreams and comfort. Your hands trembled as you re-read the few scarce sentences that you had managed to write down, only for them to curl into tight fists around the delicate piece of paper. What does it matter? It barely made sense anyway.

You needed out of this room. Shaky legs pulled your body out of your solitude, into the fresh air and tall grass that brushed against the back of your legs. You weren’t quite sure what led you to this meadow. Perhaps it was just an inexplicable pull you felt that was dragging you towards something more enchanting than the dull surroundings of a desk and barely functioning pen - something more warm, more comforting.

There, sitting in the middle of this peaceful field of flowers, he sat.

Eyes closed, with a serene smile painted on his gentle face, his silvery wisps of hair blowing softly in the winds - much like the swaying stalks of emerald around him. And once those eyes fluttered open to reveal the rubies underneath, you could feel the very air in your throat catch. That smile you admired only widened when his gaze set on you.

“Fancy seeing you here. Care to join me?” Kazuha spoke, his bandaged hand extended towards your own. You felt guilty intruding on such a peaceful moment like this, but when he was looking at you like that, inviting you to spend time with him… Well, how could you possibly refuse? Your hand connected with his own, a gentle tug leading to you seating yourself next to him. Instead of letting go of your hand, or letting his touch linger on your skin for a moment, he interlocked his fingers with your own. His side brushed against your own, your smile slowly but surely mirroring his own curled lips. Silence curled its invisible arms around the two of you, wrapping you up in comforting tranquillity, only found with the closest of companions.

A soft exhale left the man beside you, his body leaning backwards to lay against the ground, his gaze fixated on the clouds above.

“Here.” He whispers, patting the space underneath you to encourage you to join him. “Lay with me. Let your troubles float away with the drifting clouds.”

Carefully, you also laid back, with your hand still intertwined with his own and your other one resting on top of your stomach.

It wasn’t long before you found yourself under his arm, nestled up against his side with your cheek pressing up gently against his chest. His fingers gently began to run through your hair, his movements idle, his soul at peace - as well as yours.

“You don’t have to talk about what is troubling you, dove. But if you ever need to talk to me, or perhaps, if you just want me to be with you - then you need only ask.” The wandering prince spoke, his soothing movements unchanging. “Or just come find me if you feel like you can’t. Your presence is never a bother.” He chuckles softly, holding you closer to his side, his head leaning against your own.

“I promise… You’ll never have to go through anything alone, as long as I’m by your side.”

Albedo

The gentle clinking of glass echoes around the room as a solitary alchemist works in silence. Concentration is etched onto his porcelain face, his lips drawn in a straight line as his gaze fixates on the bubbling liquid inside the flask he was holding in a gentle grasp. He raises an eyebrow, however, when a figure starts to form in the reflection. In the distorted mirroring of the glass, he could make out a pair of saddened eyes staring longingly at him, yet silence persisted in the room. He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t just hallucinating - hours alone with various fumes and chemicals did have those side effects, after all. When he concluded he was in fact not deluding himself, he lowered the container carefully and turned around to face the one who had been waiting patiently behind him to finish analysing the results of his experiments.

This was a sight he wasn’t unfamiliar with. It wasn’t the first time he had seen you look so downcast. But rarely did you ever seek him out during these moods of yours, especially while he was working. This was… Unusual. It must’ve been quite serious.

He waited for you to speak, to tell him whatever was on your mind, but no words came. Instead, your eyes refused to meet his own, almost as if you were guilty for disturbing him or bothering him with your presence. But to Albedo, you could never be a bother - your very existence filled him with elation, even if he seldom expressed that notion towards you with words. At least his actions told you otherwise.

“Is there something I can help you with?” He inquired carefully, making sure not to push you too much. Your mouth opened and closed a few times, a few stutters of some quiet words he couldn’t quite make out. He glanced back to his makeshift workshop for a moment before his cerulean eyes locked with your own glassy ones. Deft fingers moved towards the bunsen burner, switching the contraption off before they moved to cup your chin, tilting your head up so your eyes locked once more. He hummed inquisitively, wondering why you looked so upset. But, no matter. If you were here, surely he could be of some use, even if you were unwilling to share what was troubling you.

“Perhaps it’s time for a break.” The blonde declared thoughtfully before intertwining his fingers with your own, guiding you out of the laboratory and into a more peaceful area of the Favonius headquarters. Once inside, he led you over to a large couch, gesturing for you to sit down before he joined you. He cleared his throat awkwardly while opening his arms to you. “I’ve heard that physical contact and affection relieves stress.” He stated, his eyes flitting away from you for a few fleeting seconds. “Would you perhaps like a hug?”

Hesitantly, he shifted closer when he noticed you were doing the same before taking you into his arms and cradling you to his chest. A shuddering breath left your lips as the warmth you had craved all day seeped through your skin, deep into your bones.

“Is… This okay?” The alchemist asks quietly, unsure. You nod against his chest, your own arms circling around his middle. His hold around you tightens. A gentle hand rests on top of your head, his other on your lower back, fingers idly tracing patterns against your back. The motion is calculated, an automatic action, as if he knew exactly what to do to soothe your worries just with his touch alone.

“I’m glad you found me and I’m glad I could help. Please, my darling, stay in my arms until you feel better.” Before you could even open your mouth to ask about his work, he continues, in a soft tone only reserved for you and his little sister. “No experiment or variable compares to the feeling of holding you like this. So please, allow me to indulge myself.”

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #venti x reader #barbatos x reader #albedo x reader #kazuha x reader #Genshin impact x gn reader

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pandorxxx · 11 months

Text

Treat me (decision based fic)

Lo’ak x omatikayan fem reader (all aged up)

Warnings: heavy smut, fingering, choking, slapping, hair pulling, p in v, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, soft-dom to DOM lo’ak.

🔞mdni🔞

Synopsis: when your friend group becomes alittle more advanced with age, you find it hard to relate to them, seeing as you were a late bloomer in the sex department. You turn to lo’ak for help but you end up quite…helpless.

You and your friends would always meet up and talk to each other about any and everything. Wether it be about hunting, partying, or just joking around, there was always a topic of conversation. As you all got older, that topic switched to something a little more advanced….sex.

It seemed to be the only thing your friends were interested in. And you being the late bloomer in all of this made the topic irrelevant to you. Made it seem like you had nothing in common with your friends anymore. They were growing up, and you felt as if you were staying still in the sex department.

As time progressed, your friends would ask you about your sex life, and to save yourself the embarrassment, you would lie.

“Oh, yeah! He told me I gave the best head in this clan.” You would say, chest poked out in confidence. And a flow of questions would follow after:

“Stop! Was he hot?”

“Did you swallow?”

“Omg girl, tell me your tricks.”

You finally felt like you belonged in your friend group again. Even if that meant lying to fit in. One day, the lying went alittle too far. And there was no turning back without giving your entire operation up.

“You keep saying “he”. Who is this mystery boy who’s getting all of your love, girl?”. Your heart stopped, realizing that you could either come clean, or continue this drawn out lie. Even though you wanted to do the right thing, the name you thought about was coming up like word vomit, there was nothing you could do.

“Oh, no one special. Justttt….lo’ak sully.” You sung. Your friends jaws dropping in shock and excitement for you. But regret burned deep in your heart, because you knew this would end badly. Lo’ak was like an older brother to you, and it seemed to be reciprocated on his end. He never really tried anything with you, which was new.

He was a very sexual being, and this was known throughout the clan. He was popular, strong, son of a great warrior, and he was hot. So this little lie was for sure to come out soon.

Again, you contemplated with yourself:

Should I just come clean? Or should I get lo’ak to go along with it just until it all faded out?

“Bro, you told them WHAT?” Lo’ak laughed, throwing his hair into a ponytail infront of his mirror.

“Listen, I know it sounds crazy. But I need you to do this for me, please!” You pleaded urgently, pacing back and forth nervously in his hut.

“Y/n…no.” He chuckled, turning to face you with his arms across his chest. You huffed, stomping to his cot until you plopped down on it in frustration.

“And I mean, you really went all out, too. Best head? Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve never seen dick in your life.” He lectured, walking over to your sprawled out body.

“You should HEAR the shit they talk about. I’ve never even heard of some of that stuff. Didn’t even know some of it was possible.” You sat up, looking up to him. He laughed out loud.

“Yeah, because your friends are a bunch of sluts. And you shouldn’t even be hanging out with them. You don’t need to impress those girls, y/n. Just stay innocent a little while longer, shit.” He leaned down, planting a kiss on your forehead, caressing the side of your head before walking back over to the mirror.

“Don’t “little girl” me. I hate when you do that.” You pouted, shooting him a stone cold glare. He smirked at you through the mirror, playing with his loincloth to make sure it was secured around his hips.

….

“you ARE a little girl.” He laughed, shaking his head before checking himself out in the mirror, vainly.

You rolled your eyes with a loud huff. “No I’m not! Skxawng.” You crossed your arms. Shooting him a deadly glare. He tilted his head, crossing his arms across his broad chest. “Oh yeah? Prove it.” He shrugged, eyeing you up and down through the mirror.

Your body began to get hot, shifting on his cot nervously. “Lo’ak…please. Just help me.” You sighed, hands together as you begged him to save you from the mess you dug yourself into.

He face turned serious, eyes rolling in frustration before shifting his body weight to one side.

“So let me get this straight. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend untilllll?”

“Until I tell everyone we broke up. I just need a couple of months, lo’ak.” You reassured him, hoping that he would finally give in for you.

“A couple of months?! No fucking way.” He shook his head. “Why not?!” You whined.

“Because im just going to assume we’re not going to be having sex. And I don’t know if you noticed but….I like having sex.” He smirked at you through the mirror.

…

“Lo’ak, i-ive never done that before.” You reminded him. Crossing your legs nervously. He scoffed, watching you squeeze your legs together.

“Yeah, I know. Which is why this is a terrible fucking idea!” He chuckled. You began to grow more frustrated, finally blurting out what you truly wanted to say.

“Lo’ak! I don’t know why you’re acting so untouchable. Every girl In this clan has had you for gods sake! Just break me in already, what’s the big deal?” You rambled, glaring at him with a confused look, waiting for him to answer your question.

“Do you hear yourself? Like…seriously.” He spoke lowly , turning around to lean against the mirror, staring at you. Your ears shot up, shooting your head to him confusingly.

“I mean…you talk about yourself like you’re an object. Break you in? Like a fucking car? You’re so much more than that. Why do you wanna be treated like a slut? Please explain.” His eyebrows ruffled in confusion as he awaited an answer.

“I just- my friend’s talk about it like it’s the best thing in the world. All I wanna do is see what that feels like. To be used and dominated. To be fucked until I can’t take it anymore, and even then he doesn’t stop. Showing me no fucking mercy no matter how much I scream for him to slow down. I want someone to make me cum…over and over again until I have nothing left to give. I wanna be slapped, choked….treated like an absolute slut.” You explained, not even knowing the tone in which you spoke. You were so in your head that your tone was borderline seductive, making lo’ak forget everything he said to you before.

“I just need the right person to show me.” You smiled sarcastically, realizing that this conversation was probably going nowhere. You stood up, walking towards the door. You only opened it inches before it slammed back shut in your embrace. You could feel his body heat radiating on your backside as his hand laid on the shut door.

…

“And after all that…you think you’re just gonna walk out? I’ll have your little ass crawling out of here when I’m done.” He growled in your ear. You let a small whimper leave your throat, completely submitting to him. He spun you around to face him, pinning you to the door by your neck with great force.

“I’ve thought about it. Who am I to deny you of what you truly want, huh? What kind of… boyfriend would I be if I didn’t treat you how you’re begging me to?” He chuckled, titling his head at you. He scanned your trembling body for a moment before meeting your face again.

“Tell me you want it.” He whispered, bringing you closer to him by your neck. His hand slid down to your waist, drawing circles into the sides. You looked up at him with nothing but lust, so hungry for him. “I want it.” You moaned, nodding in his embrace.

“Talk to me, tell me how you want it.” He nodded with you before tucking his bottom lip in between his teeth.

“Take me right here. Use me, please.” You strained as his grip on your neck became slightly tighter. He nodded for confirmation before ripping your loincloth off, deeming it un-wearable. He immediately slid two fingers in between your soaked folds, making you throw your head back in his embrace.

He brought his fingers up to your face, your juices dripping down his knuckles. You looked at him with hooded eyes. You stuck your tongue all the way out, using the flattest part to lick his fingers clean. He watched you intently before pulling his fingers away, bringing you in for a fiery kiss. Your tongues fought for dominance, but his won. The kiss was slow and sloppy, just how you liked it.

He let your neck go, picking you up by your thighs harshly, lips still stuck to yours. He walked you over to the table, swiping everything away with one hand before plopping you down.

He trailed his hand down to your cunt, massaging your clit gently with his thumb while he slide one finger into you slowly. You detached from his lips, back bowing as you threw your head back. A series of loud moans left your throat as he took the opportunity to leave hickeys on your neck.

He slowly added the second one, scissoring your hole gently to open you up. “Tell me if I’m hurting you.” He whispered in your ear, playing with the squishy ball of nerves inside of you. You let out a whimper, bucking your hips into his hand. It was safe to say that you felt no pain, just pleasure. Yet and still you nodded at his request. You both watched as his fingers slide in and out of you, coaxing squelching sounds out of your soaked cunt.

Although it felt good, you couldn’t help but think about how his cock would feel. Filling you up just right. You needed him, right now.

“Please, fuck me. I want it so bad.” You whined, still bucking your hips into his hand. He looked into your eyes, scanning your seriousness.

“Oh baby. You’re gonna need to be stretched as much as possible before you take this dick. Be patient with me.” He spoke breathily, kissing your forehead.

“I-I can take it, lo’ak. I promise! Give it to me, please.” You pleaded, tears forming in the corner of your eyes from your incoming orgasm. He smirked, watching your legs tremble slightly.

“Cum first, and then I’ll let you have it. You’re so fucking close, don’t you want to finish, hmm?” He whispered in your ear, before tugging on the lobe with his canines. He sped up inside of you, massaging your sweet spot. Your mouth flew opened, eyebrows scrunching together as your legs shook violently around his waist.

“That’s what I thought. Go ahead, and cum for me Princess.” He spoke in your ear before pecking it. Obeying his orders, you clung to his neck, eyes rolling back as you released on his fingers.

“Good girl, such a good girl.” He muttered through a clenched jaw, pulling his fingers out of you. He brung them to his mouth, sucking them clean as he eyed your small frame.

“Can I have it now? Please?” You begged, tugging at his loincloth. He chuckled, licking his fingers one more time. He used his thumb to wipe his mouth clean before eyeing you up and down.

…

“Take it, if you’re bold enough.” He licked his lips, glancing down at his bulge before looking back up at you. With his permission, you untied his loincloth slowly as you both watched in anticipation. Once it was untied, you gently let the loincloth go, letting it fall to the ground.

Your eyes widened at his size. His cock sprung up, tip touching the middle of his belly. He was pulsating, oozing with precum. He watched your reaction, and the way you used your hands to slide back on the table slightly. He finally dropped his hands to his side, eyeing you like you were his prey.

“Scared?” He asked, eyebrow cocked. You watched his cock jump with every heartbeat, gulping loudly before squeezing your legs together to hide your little cunt from his huge cock.

“Mhm.” You confessed, nodding your head frantically, still staring down at it.

“It won’t fit.” You shook your head, shifting on the table nervously. He scanned your small frame once more, palming his cock to jerk It slowly.

…

“That pussy was made for me, baby. It’ll fit.” He spoke sensually, rubbing his hand up your thigh.

“Do you trust me?” He asked, placing his hands on either sides of your thighs. You nodded frantically.

“I’m gonna talk you through it, ok? Lay back for me.” He reassured, pushing on your stomach gently. You obliged, laying all the way back for him. He gently grabbed your legs, pushing them back to open you up.

He stared at your dripping cunt, your slick trickling down to the table beneath you. He ran his hands down his face before licking his lips, in awe at the site before him.

“All for me, huh?” He asked, tapping the tip of his cock on your clit. You let out a soft moan, the friction bringing you pleasure.

He then proceeded to rub his entire length in between your folds, bucking his hips ever so slightly. You both hummed in unison, watching the source of pleasure.

“Are you ready?” He asked, looking at you through his eyebrows. “I’m scared.” You pouted.

“Don’t be. You’re safe with me.” He reassured. Your heart was beating out of your chest, but this would be the most ready you’d ever be. You nodded, motioning for him to begin.

“Just look at me, ok? Don’t look down. Not until it’s in.” He commanded, caressing your cheek. He lined his cock up with your entrance, probing it with his throbbing tip. You tensed, looking down at the source.

“No, no, no. Relax, baby. Look at me, ok? It’s just you and me.” He nodded, caressing the back of your thighs. You took a deep breath, looking into his eyes. Grabbing his cock, he probed at your entrance again, slowly pushing his length in. Your face was scrunched up as you waited for the pain to kick in. Your eyes were closed, not even wanting to see how he was making this happen.

“Princess, You’re doing so good.” He spoke breathily, watching his cock slide into you at a painfully slow pace to ensure that he didn’t hurt you. However, you were stretched to capacity and the pain was starting to settle in.

“Fuck!” You whined, throwing your head back. You let your legs go, planting your feet firmly on the table in exhaustion. He watched you intently, becoming even more aroused by your reaction to his size. He bit his lip, thrusting half of his cock into you slowly to get you used to him.

“I thought this was what you wanted. Now look at you. A complete fucking mess for me.” He moaned, pushing himself alittle farther inside of you with every slow stroke. The squelching sounds were loud, his cock dripping with your slick.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” You blabbered deliriously, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt his tip graze your cervix. He chuckled, realizing that you were already drunk off of him, and there was really no turning back now.

“Sorry? Don’t be sorry. I like making little sluts like you my cock sleeve.” He moaned, gripping your neck as he bottomed out. He was the deepest he’d been, almost felt like he was in your stomach. You let out a series of whimpers, feeling as full as you could possible get.

“Open your eyes.” He commanded. You obliged lazily, finally looking down at the source of pleasure. Low and behold, his tip was poking into your lower belly. Your eyes widened, sitting up on your elbows in panic.

“Told you it would fit.” He chuckled, grabbing the sides of your waist, using them as leverage to thrust into you gently.

“You’re s-soo big, lo’ak.” You whined, pouting up at him with scrunched eyebrows. He nodded, watching his cock slide into you with ease.

“I know, mama. Tell me if I’m hurting you.” He moaned, focusing on his slow and steady thrusts.

“I-it feels good. So so good.” You moaned, running your hands down his abs. He tilted his head, scanning your relaxed demeanor. “Mmm, so no pain?” He asked, a devilish smirk creeping up on his face.

“Just keep it right there, don’t stop!” You whined, watching his tip make an appearance in your stomach with every slow thrust. Since it was your first time, he thought that he’d take it easy on you until you finally opened up to him. Little did you know the trouble you’d just gotten yourself into.

“That’s good to know, mama. So what was all that talk earlier? About being fucked like a slut? No mercy, remember?” He asked innocently, still drilling into you deep. You were already too fucked out to comprehend correctly.

“I-I remember.” You chuckled deliriously, nodding with hooded eyes. “Yeah? Well guess what, baby?” He chuckled, before biting his bottom lip, staring at your fucked out face.

“What?” You smiled, taking your bottom lip in between your teeth.

His smile fell immediately, sending you the hardest thrust, leaving it inside of you. You gasped, eyes going wide as you stared up at him in shock. He grabbed your neck harshly, pulling your forehead to his.

…

“I’m gonna treat you like the slut you’ve been dying to be.” He growled, pulling your legs over his shoulders, using your neck as leverage to fuck into you harshly.

“Ohhh my- lo’ak!” You moaned sharply, holding onto his wrists. He slammed into your sensitive sweetspot with every hard thrust, deeming the pleasure too much for you.

“Nope! You’ve gotta take it now, baby.” He shook his head, thrusting up into you at a fast pace. Every stroke knocking the wind out of you to the point where you couldn’t keep steady breaths. You watched his cock slide in and out of you, showing itself in your lower belly with every thrust. Although you were experiencing euphoria, you couldn’t help but panic at the abnormal print in your stomach. It made you nervous, scared even.

“Lo’ak! It’s t-too big for me!” You whined, shaking your head nervously as you tried to push on his stomach. The pleasure was too much and your anxiety was through the roof. He smacked your hand away quickly, pinning you back down on the table by your neck.

“Don’t push me away. Ever.” He spoke sternly, his gaze turning predatory. He grabbed your cheeks harshly, squishing them together.

“GOT IT?” He asked in a harsh tone, eyebrow cocked as he waited for a response. With the grip he had on your jaw, there really wasn’t much you could say, so you nodded slowly, tears beginning to well in your eyes from the pleasure.

“Now watch it. Watch me play in your guts.” He chuckled, tilting your head down to look at the source. You whined, opening your legs wider for him as your stomach tensed. The feeling started to consume you. Your eyes were low, cheeks flushed, and it was safe to say you were officially drunk off of his cock. You had no words, no voice, nothing would come out anymore. All you could do was watch, and take every pleasurable stroke he sent your way.

“That’s right you naughty bitch. Take it!” He growled, watching your eyes roll back in complete satisfaction.

“Tell me you love it.” He muttered through a clenched jaw before smacking your face lightly. “I-I love it! I love it!” You moaned, throwing your head back in his embrace. He brought you up to him by your neck, looking you in the eyes as he rutted into you with no remorse.

“I’ll believe it when you cum for me. Go ahead, cum on this dick, baby. I know you want to, I can feel it.” He whispered in your ear, sending you into a moaning frenzy. Your hips began to buck into his, chasing that euphoric orgasm that was building up.

…

“Yesss! You feel s-sooo fucking good.” You whined, face scrunched together in pleasure as you stared into his eyes. He bit his lip, watching you fall apart underneath him. Your legs started to shake around his hips, squeezing him in as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Baby, you’re taking this dick like a pro. My good little slut. All MINE!” He whispered in your ear, angling his hips up to smack your sensitive sweetspot.

And that was all it took for you to come undone on him. Loud moans left your mouth as you clung to him for dear life. He thrusted into you slowly, nice enough to let you ride out your high.

He pulled out once you came down, watching your cum drip down his shaft and onto the floor beneath him.

“Turn around.” He commanded, twirling his finger. You slowly lowered yourself off of the table, legs shaking beneath you, making it hard to complete such a simple task.

However you managed to turn around slowly. Your back flush to his chest. Without warning, he bent you over the table, making you gasp audibly.

“Now that I’ve…broken you in.” He started, running his hand all the way up your slender back, reaching the back of your neck to squeeze it tightly.

“I’m gonna fuck you like the slut you claim to be. No mercy right?” He asked with slight aggression, sliding into you slowly. Your eyes widened at the familiar fullness, humming lowly when he started to thrust into you firmly.

“No mercy.” You muttered, eyes already crossing as you shook your head in response. He immediately started to rut into you like an animal, so hard and deep that your pelvis smacked against the edge of the table harshly with every stroke. You let out a few strained cries, your cheek finding comfort on the cold hard table.

“Don’t cry, now. This was what you wanted, Princess.” He grunted, shifting both of his hands to your hips, using them as leverage to drill into your tight cunt. The pleasure was unbearable from the start. Your knees started to buckle with every hard thrust. You were a whimpering mess, your lips becoming salty from your own tears.

“No, stand the fuck up! Stay still.” He growled, holding your hips In place to keep you up. Setting that unbearable rhythm again.

“I-I can’t.” You moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You sat up lazily, holding your weight with your shaky arms as you tilted your head back. He reached around, grabbing your neck from behind.

“You will, though. I want you to keep the same fucking energy.” He whispered in your ear as he abused your sensitive sweetspot. Your mouth flew open, eyes rolling so far back that they might’ve gotten stuck.

“I-it’s sooo fucking deep.” You whined through a clenched jaw, reaching for nothing as you tried to get away from him. You swung your right leg onto the table, placing your knee on the edge to try and crawl out of his grasp. Soon realizing that you made a big mistake because all that did was gave him access to slide deeper into you.

“Nice try. But I already told you about running away from me.” He spoke sternly, wrapping your long braids around his forearm, using it as a leash to tame you. You let out a series of curses, tears rolling down your flushed cheeks.

“Lo’ak…y-you’re killing me.” You whined, voice rippling from each hard thrust. He tightened his grip on your hair, pulling your head back until your eyes met his.

…

“I don’t care. Shut up and take this dick.” He growled, his lip finding refuge In between his teeth as he watched you fall in and out of consciousness ever so often. You let out a high pitched squeal with every thrust, legs beginning to shake from your incoming orgasm. He felt you flutter around his cock, letting out a guttural groan as he stared at you.

His lips hovered over yours, you both panting loudly. He leaned down, kissing your lips passionately as he sped up his pace. Your mouth flew open against his. He smiled devilishly, nodding his head as he stared into your puffy eyes.

“You like that shit, huh? Gonna cum on this dick again?” He chuckled, both of you nodding your heads frantically in unison, all knowingly for what’s to come.

“Mhm! S- So close!” You whined drunkenly, eyes rolling to the back of your head once more. He used his free hand to smack your ass, watching you come undone for him.

“Oh I’m cumming, lo’ak! Cumming! *thrust* cumming! *thrust* cumming! *thrust*” you announced, chanting between hard thrusts. Your legs shook, releasing your essence all over his shaft.

“Fuuuck!” He groaned, watching his cream coated cock slide in and out of you harshly. He didn’t stop, he didn’t even slow down for you. The merciless rhythm turning you into a squirming mess.

“Too much, TOO MUCH!!!” You screamed, tapping his thigh to get him to ease up on you. He smacked your ass harder, leaving a purple handprint on your skin.

“Im not done yet, Princess. Stop fucking moving!” He growled, reaching around to your clit, massaging the ball of nerves.

“Ohhh shit!” You squealed, holding onto his strong arm to keep you up. Although you didn’t mean to, you continued to squirm under him, legs trembling uncontrollably, making it hard for you to stand. He huffed in anger, pulling out of you quickly. You fell immediately, your legs numb from his constant drilling. You took the opportunity to attempt to escape, lazily crawling towards the hut door.

…

“Bring your little ass here!” He shouted, walking to the front of you to pick you up. He held you by your ass, wrapping your legs around his hips. He walked you over to the wall, pinning you there to keep your back supported.

He wasted no time impaling you again. Your mouth flying opened at the single hard thrust. He stared into your eyes, thrusting into you with great force.

“You’re done when I say. Got it?” He grunted, fucking into you at the speed of light. You nodded your head frantically, words stuck in your throat. All that could be heard was aggressive skin clapping. Your legs started to shake around his waist, and your whines progressed in volume.

“Gonna cum for the 3rd time, huh?” He asked, placing his large hand above your head, using one arm to drill into you with no mercy.

“Yesssss!” You cried, wrapping your trembling arms around his neck as you came undone for the third time. You buried your face into the crook of his neck, muffling your loud cries.

Your sweet voice, and the way you sucked him in started to get the best of him. He threw his head onto your shoulder, panting loudly as he sped up his pace, chasing his own orgasm.

“Fuuuck, y/n. You’re gonna make me cum… sooo deep in this pussy.” He moaned, eyes rolling to the back of his head. Your legs began to tremble hastily. squeezing your eyes shut tightly as you whined loudly.

He began to pant, using his tongue to drawl circles on your exposed shoulder. He took a deep breath, inhaling your addictive scent. Letting it send him into a trance. He nuzzled his head in the crook of your neck in an attempt to scent you. He contemplated on wether or not he should mark you. Your pure, unscathed shoulder was practically calling his name.

…

He couldn’t take it any longer. He flashed his fangs, grazing your soft skin with them before he bit down, just enough to leave a mark on you. You hissed at the feeling, basking in the mixture of pain and pleasure. He pulled back, lightly sucking on the puncture with a low hum rumbling in his chest.

“Mmm, y-you’re driving me….fucking crazy.” He muttered drunkenly, letting his fangs graze over the new womb. The act alone sending shivers down your spine. Enough to make you come undone again with a loud scream.

“Oh my- shitttt!” He moaned, feeling your walls flutter around him. He continued his merciless rhythm, chasing his orgasm. You cried in his chest at the overstimulation.

“Shh baby, I-I’m almost done with you. Took me so fucking well.” He moaned, eyes rolling to the back of his head once more as his thrusts became sloppy.

You were a trembling mess. Feeling as if your entire body was going numb. You bit your lip , trying to suppress your loud cries.

“Mmm, cumming mama!” He grunted, sending you one hard thrust, nearly knocking the wind out of you as he painted your walls with his sticky seed. You let out a strained whine with every thrust that he sent to ride out his high.

You two stared into eachothers eyes, catching your breaths. He chuckled, pulling out of you to watch his access seed seep out. He placed you on the ground gently but your legs were too numb to stand on. You fell to the ground hard with an agonizing groan. He stared down at you with a devilish grin before bending down to be eye level with you.

He grabbed your neck harshly, before speaking:

“Now you really have something to tell your friends…”

Tags: @avatarsslut @neytirishottie

#avatar #avatar smut #avatar the way of water #avatar loak #loak headcanons #loak x reader #loak x y/n #loak smut #loakedit #loak sully #loak fanart #loak #loak x tsireya #loak angst #loak fanfiction #loak fluff

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nana-au · 4 days

Text

Best Friend Activities

Eren + Armin + You - MDNI

₊˚ପ⊹ Summary: Armin is a virgin and Eren enlists you to help out his best friend. Why is he watching? To make sure he’s doing a good job, of course.

(Dom!Eren, Virgin!Armin, Sub!Reader)

₊˚ପ⊹ an: Eren brings out something feral within me. I'm so sorry. Not proofread!!!

₊˚ପ⊹ wc: 3.2k

₊˚ପ⊹ Warnings: mmf pairing, threesome, slight manipulation, breeding/pregnancy kink, mentions of public sex, f receiving! oral, p in v (no protection <3)

𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

Eren Jaeger was so skilled when it came to getting you all wrapped up in his dangerous plans. There was one time he convinced you to skip class to see a movie. Or another time when you two snuck into a bar before your 21st birthday. It made you blush, but you often thought about the time he fingered you in your college’s library a week before finals. His mouth open and hot against yours as you tried to breathe through the pleasure. His fingers sliding in and out, creating the lewdest noise as he shamed your wet pussy for being so loud - Every day with him was eventful to say the least. It shouldn’t have shocked you when Eren tracked you down on your way to class one day with the news of his next venture. He was a good boyfriend, allowing you time to think about it during your geology lecture.

Armin Arlert - Eren’s childhood best friend. Your face felt hot as the professor droned about naturally occurring crystal formations, you weren’t entirely convinced it was English he was speaking - you were that out of it. Armin. Armin. Armin. Your brain chanted. You were used to Eren’s ideas of a good time but this? This was new.

“I can’t let my best friend graduate college as a virgin! You understand right?” He had that smooth yet exasperated tone while explaining the dilemma. “You’re like nothing I’ve ever had,” he gave you his puppy dog eyes, “You’re the only one I trust to help my best friend with this,” He made it sound so nonchalant, like everyone fucks their boyfriend’s best friend. He noticed your hesitance as you breached the doors of your school’s science department, stopping you before your classroom door. “I’ve never led you down the wrong path, have I?”

You bit your lip, his final words echoing in your mind. He was always so selfless, putting himself before others. He was offering up his girlfriend to make sure his friend’s first time was a positive experience. How could you be the one to cut his streak of charitability short?

𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

Throughout the day you felt more and more positive about what was going to happen - that was until you were in Eren’s bedroom with Armin at the edge of his bed. The blonde was fidgeting with his hands, you could tell he was just as unsure as you were.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this, Eren?” He asked him, giving him the option to back out. He would be lying if he wasn’t interested in you - hell, the whole school was. It seemed to be a weekly occurrence where Eren had to protect you from another man’s attention - it was nerve-wracking how Eren was so nonchalant about sharing you with him now.

“I’m Positive, ‘Min,” his smile was soft and sincere. Armin couldn’t hide the shiver that wracked across his spine. “You don’t mind, right Armin?” he shook his head fervently to Eren, biting down on his bottom lip as he searched for the right words. “I just recalled our talk way back when,” Eren was leaning back against his dresser, arms crossed and demeanor overtaken by cockiness as he continued, “When we first met her?” he spoke like you weren’t there. You were still by the door, rubbing your arms to soothe yourself from your nerves. Your eyebrows quirked at his mention of you, looking at Armin whose face grew even redder. “Do you remember, ‘Min?”

“Y-Yeah,” his voice quivers and his eyes won't move from a spot on the ground.

“What talk?” you speak up. Eren finally turns to you, his teeth peaking out of his smirk.

“Armin, do you want to tell her?” The blonde is speechless, you can see a light sheen of sweat on his features as he looks up to Eren. He shakes his head again, you can almost feel the anxiety that radiates off of him. “It’s okay, she’s here isn’t she? She won’t laugh. Right? You won’t laugh?” he addresses you and you’re forced to agree to soothe Armin. “Go on ‘Min,” he assures him. You move towards him, feeling on edge seeing someone you knew so well be so nervous. He won’t meet your eyes so you chose to sit next to him, putting your hand on his back.

“It’s okay,” you promise him. Silence follows your words and after a couple of minutes Eren decides to put an end to his misery.

“’s really no big deal, he just wanted to fuck you,” you can feel Armin’s body jump from the vulgar choice of words. He wouldn’t have put it so harshly. Before you and Eren were official, Armin had said he wouldn’t mind getting to know you better. He may have also mentioned you were the first girl he ever really felt sexual feelings for. But, again, that was before you and Eren. In this moment, with Eren teasing him and you trying to comfort him, jumping out of the window didn’t sound like a terrible idea.

“I-I mentioned that you were really pretty,” he was trying so desperately to recover but the taller boy would never allow it.

“It’s okay Armin- she doesn’t mind. Seriously,” You nodded along to Eren’s words, starting to feel a little flushed yourself. “You want to fuck him now, right?” you now were on the hot seat, enduring his questioning.

“I agreed to help with his p-problem,” you were even beginning to stutter too. God what was Eren going to do with the two of you? He hovered over your figures on the edge of his bed, watching his best friend and girlfriend squirm at his words.

“Then don’t let me stop you,” You couldn’t move at first, unsure as to what you should even do. He chuckled and reached his hand up your skirt. “Do you need some help getting ready?” his finger looped into your panties and pulled them down to your thighs. You could feel his slender digit nudge your entrance. You hissed at what he found. “Armin, she’s already wet for you,” he laughs incredulously. The blonde finally finds it in himself to move, shifting his body to get a better look. Eren grabs the top of your skirt, pulling it up to your stomach so you were on full display to his friend. He looked shocked. Maybe excited? You were too busy trying not to close your legs at the intrusion to get a good read. “Go ahead, feel,” Eren invites him. He’s hesitant at first, meeting your eyes to make sure it was ok with you. You meekly nod before feeling his cold finger against you. He looks surprised, feeling your slickness on his finger. He nudges the tip of his index against your entrance, probing the velvety skin. “Put it inside,” Eren encourages and you don’t even wait for Armin to check if it’s ok before you are nodding enthusiastically. His soft digit glides into your pussy and he watches, mesmerized by the image in front of him. He can feel the ridges of your walls against his finger and he definitely feels you squeeze around him.

“Fuck,” he murmurs. He pulls it all the way out, watching the way your arousal trails to his finger. Your eyes are wide as you watch him fall in love with your pussy, and Eren pets your head muttering to himself. You’re such a good girl, letting him explore you. He knew you would be perfect for the job.

“Do you see her clit?” he asks his friend. “Girls really like it when you play with that,” he advises him. Armin moves his finger up to your clit and your body jolts at sudden harsh feeling. “Rub it gently. In circles.” and Armin obeys. You feel your pussy clench around nothing, incredibly aroused by Armin’s intense interest in your intimate areas. His face was not unsimilar to how it looks when he studies; His brows furrowed in concentration and his jaw was slightly clenched. He wasn’t meeting your gaze, too transfixed on what was happening below. You let out a small mewl, his finger barely ghosting on your clit making it hard to think.

“What should I do next?” Armin asks Eren.

“What do you want to do next?”

“I want to eat her pussy,”

𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

You were now at the top of the bed with your head underneath a pillow and your pussy enduring Eren’s lesson. He taught him how to swirl his tongue on your clit, how to delve the muscle into your entrance, and that you loved being teased with kitten licks. It felt almost professional the way they talked about your pussy - like you weren’t there. Like it wasn’t attached to you and you weren’t actively moaning at each flick of Armin’s tongue. Eren held down your thighs to keep you from squishing Armin’s head between them, still guiding him on what to do. “Use your finger on her clit again,” he instructed and your legs shivered. His tongue was keeping a steady rhythm in and out of you while his thumb reached up to rub delicious circles on your bundle of nerves. Eren looked proud watching him make you fall apart. “Keep going Armin, she’s gonna cum.” He picked the pace up, and consequently your hips started to rise off the bed. Armin’s face had your pleasure smeared across it as you bucked and pushed your pussy further against his mouth. You were losing control, begging Armin to go faster. “You want Armin to make you cum?” Eren asks you and you cry out a yes. “Armin is making you feel good baby?” and again you are saying yes.

“Yes, yesss. Mmm. I’m gon’ cum,'' you announce and Eren watches as you fall apart with his friend’s face attached to your pussy. When you come down and after a few more gentle licks, Armin’s head pops out from between your legs and he looks dazed. His lower face glistens with your fluid and his mouth heaves trying to take in much needed breaths. He barely gives himself time to process before he’s already wanting to be inside of you.

“Is that ok, Eren?” he asks, even though he’s not sure what he would do if the answer was no. Eren nods, but adjusts your position to be on top of him. He has you propped against his chest as he sits up against the headboard. The dizziness of making you cum fades once he realizes what he’s about to do, growing unsure of himself.

“What’s wrong?” Eren inquires and Armin can’t hold back a blush. Scratching the back of his head, he stares down at the two of you. “Look at her Armin, she wants you too,” and he’s right. You are squirming on top of Eren, your body anticipating what was about to come. Eren makes a show of grabbing your tits still under your shirt. He tweaks at the nipple, keeping his gaze on his friend.

“You won’t be mad?” It was a silly question to ask after he ate you out like a starving man, but he couldn’t help it. Eren didn’t want to admit his reasons were entirely selfish. He loved spilling his seed inside of you, promising one day to give you his kids. He loved watching you squirm as he edged you for hours, reducing you to tears and snot as you begged for release. He especially loved seeing you reach your peak in public, the idea of being caught incredibly arousing to him. He loved how you would do anything he asked of you; He was absolutely going to love you taking his best friend so good for him. All he could do was shake his head ‘No’ for now.

Armin undoes his belt, hands shaking as he pulls his pants down - his briefs joining after a moment of silent contemplation. His cock slaps against his stomach, the tip angry with fat drops of precum spilling out of it. It’s fairly long, but not as thick as Eren’s. He crawls on the bed to join you two. His breath is shaky, looking down at you, and he can't help but squeeze the base of his length before gliding his hand up and down. Eren’s own hand reaches down to your pussy, playing with your entrance again.

“I’ll warm her up for it,” he tells Armin, sliding his middle and ring finger inside of you. You whine at the intrusion and he curls them inside you. He wastes no time hitting the spot that makes you throw your head back. “Kiss her, ‘Min,” he orders him. Your pink lips are wet with your spit and your eyes are half-open, lost in the feeling of Eren’s fingers. You ask Armin to kiss you when he doesn’t move at first. When his lips hit yours, Eren picks up the speed. You’re moaning - struggling to keep your lips pursed. The kiss is wet and sloppy and Armin is stroking himself a little faster listening to the squelch of your pussy. “I think she’s ready,” and Armin doesn’t allow himself another moment to reconsider.

He pulls away from the kiss, lining himself up to you, and pushing himself in. He doesn’t acknowledge that you might need a moment to adjust, he just buries himself all the way in, his voice straining, “Oh shit”. You let out a sharp moan, feeling him bully his way into your tight cunt. Once he’s in he can’t help himself from moving. You can also feel Eren rocking against your backside, matching the rhythm of his best friend’s cock going in and out of your sopping pussy. His pupils are blown out, enamored by the scene in front of him. He pulls your legs back to try and get a better look, causing Armin to go deeper than before. The both of you moan simultaneously at the new angle, your gummy walls massaging his dick perfectly, the head reaching the spot that makes you see stars. You’re completely out of it, drool seeping onto Eren’s shirt as your head rested against his chest. Eren doesn’t even notice - too entranced. Armin’s perfect cock pulls out of you, glistening with your slick, before pounding itself right back in. “It feels t-too good. I can’t last much l-longer..” his moans are high pitched - he completely lost himself in the feeling of your pussy taking him so perfectly. “F-fuck. You’re too perfect,” he hisses, choking out sobs. He’s so overstimulated by how tight you’re squeezing him, how everytime he pulls out your pussy desperately clings to his cock. And the noise - he will never forget the noise. You are so wet - your arousal now leaking down your thighs and smearing itself all over his balls.

“Cum in her, I don’t mind,” Eren promises. Armin picks up speed and he’s completely lost now. His moans are more like pathetic whines. He’s praising your pussy, thanking his best friend for allowing him to cum inside of you. Allowing you to milk his cock so perfectly. He rocks into you a few more times before he reaches impossibly deep, spilling his load. Eren wonders if it's dangerous for his cock to be this hard. You’re clawing at Eren’s thighs and Armin is crying out. He continues to cum, his dick twitching as his semen sprays your walls. He was babbling out a prayer as he came, thanking every deity he could think of that could have possibly made your pussy so perfect. Once Armin finally pulls off of you, his chest heaves, watching some of his fluid spill out of your perfect center. Eren’s fingers reach down to plug you up and Armin could have passed out at the filthiness of it all. “I gotta make sure it all stays in,” he tells Armin. He’s pulling down his sweatpants with his other hand, careful not to move the one keeping Armin’s cum buried in your hole. He shifts underneath you, making it so you’re laying now. “I think my dick would work better keeping it in,” he comments, mainly to himself. You’re squirming on top of him, excited for his thick cock to replace his fingers. He barges in as roughly as Armin - desperate to feel you squeeze his whole length. He makes quick work - fucking Armin’s children back up inside of you. “You think she can hold both of our loads, ‘Min?” Armin’s mouth is almost on the floor listening to his best friend’s dirty talk. “Fuck-” Eren can’t help but curse out. From his friend’s perspective he could see a mixture of fluids build at the base of Eren’s cock, creating a ring around it. The squelching sounds were overwhelming - along with your constant breathy moans. You were completely drunk off of their cocks. They were in awe with how well you took them - how good the attention of your pussy felt. Armin felt himself growing semi-hard, almost jealous Eren was feeling the heaven he just felt. You were truly an angel. “C’mere and rub her clit,” Eren spat out another order that Armin would be too stupid not to follow. He sat at the side of you two, his fingers reaching your nub.

You choked out a sob, “‘Min, you’re s-so good at that,” and he truly was. His fingers were soft and fast and he knew just the right speed to get your pussy clenching on Eren’s cock.

“G-god beautiful. You like him playing with your pretty pussy? Fuck! Squeezing me so tight. ‘M gonna cum inside you. Give you a baby, would ‘ya like that? Gonna breed you so good. All with Armin’s help, huh?” You're lost in his words, his cock - Armin’s delicate fingers. You come loud - you begin crying and reaching for Armin’s hand. He smacks it away, continuing his assault on your clit as Eren pounds into you. One arm is holding you down against him, the other spreading your left thigh open to make you take him well. He’s praising you, “Fuck- this tight pussy baby… ‘feels so good. Want me to come? Want me to mix our loads? Won’t know whose baby it is” His hair is flat against his forehead, almost completely covering his eyes. He can still see though, he’s watching his best friend relentlessly rub your clit and holding your hands so you can’t stop him. He’s overstimulated by the sight and his dick is twitching while rope after rope of cum shoots out of him and into your perfect pussy.

𓂃⊹ ִֶָ

The two boys take their time cleaning you up - not before they spend even longer watching their mixture spill out of you. They both take their turns shoving it back inside of you before watching it dribble out of you again. Armin can’t help himself from teasing your clit a few more times while Eren’s finger plays with the juices falling out of you. He teaches Armin a thing or two about the importance of aftercare, and the two of them clean you up in the bath.

Whilst watching Armin soap up your body Eren heavily considers making this a weekly occurrence.

305 notes · View notes

ghost-proofbaby · 1 year

Text

twenty four hours (modern!eddie munson x fem!reader)

HOUR ELEVEN

in which a line is crossed, and a lie is told.

→ tropes: enemies to lovers, forced proximity, slow burn

→ warnings: strong language, smut, upside down does not exist, fingering, oral (m receiving, allusions to f receiving), p in v (be like eddie and r! use protection!), use of mean nicknames (slut), ass slapping, hair pulling, minors dni

→ wc: 7.5k+

→ a/n: the smut has arrived! shout out to @abibliophobiaa and @myosotisa my loves for helping me, but also horny hours in general haha. the pep talks were very much needed and very appreciated.

masterlist.

spotify playlist.

◁ previous part, next part▷

11:00 ──────ㅇ─────────── 24:00

SIX MONTHS EARLIER

A drink. What you need is a drink.

The moment Robin and Steve brought up the small get together, you’d agreed instinctually. It had been a long month, hard and full of life throwing unexpected punches your way, and the only way you could think to soothe it was with terrible mixed drinks in your friend’s kitchen.

First, it had been the tire on your bike popping. Which in itself wasn’t a catastrophe, but you realized very quickly that going out and about around campus was nearly impossible on foot. You’d shown up to most classes late, not adjusting for the fact you were far slower when walking across campus than you were riding. And then it was your classes; the teachers were already upset as it was in your smaller classes regarding your perpetual tardiness, but to top it all off, every assignment seemed to not be enough. No matter what you submitted, what changes you made to essays sent back to you, it was becoming more impossible to maintain a resemblance of a respectable GPA. You’d nearly flunked a test in your humanities class, when you’d asked for a professor to go back a slide for notes they’d glared and refused the reasonable request. When you’d not understood a question on your literature homework and sent an email plenty of days in advance, the teacher only got back to you once the due date had passed.

And the dates. The terrible, terrible dates of the month.

There was the first guy, who had been kind enough. A simple meeting over coffee and by the time the lattes were cold, you knew there’d be no second date. That was fine. You could live with that.

The second guy had more potential. A first date in a bar was almost a red flag, but after a fun game of pool, you’d agreed to meet again. The second date was at a restaurant that you learned he’d taken his ex-girlfriend to; actually, you’d learned a bit too much about his ex-girlfriend that night. She was the only thing he could talk about, and when you’d later explained that over text for being your reason against a third date, he’d called you every crude name in the book.

And the final guy. A guy you’d really liked, that you’d been messaging back and forth since a month before. He was a busy guy, a bartender and full time student, and you understood – you really did. But he was charismatic and lured you in over the phone, and you hadn’t been so giddy for a date in a while. It felt like there were sparks, like he might be the one.

He didn’t show up. Last night, you’d sat like a fool at the restaurant you two agreed upon for two hours before realizing he wasn’t showing. Sipped your way through two ciders, even picked on an appetizer of fries, telling yourself he’d show up. He was just busy. He’d show up.

He never showed up. He didn’t even text you. The waiter had waived your bill for the night, but his look of pity only made your stomach twist worse.

Pathetic. You felt pathetic.

“We’re all getting together at my place tonight,” Steve had whispered to you during class that morning as you two were packing up things as the lecture ended, “Everyone’s just going to hang out, drink, let loose. You should come.”

And so you came, overly optimistic about the entire idea. You didn’t even think to ask if Eddie was going to be here – even he couldn’t dampen your excitement at a break after the month you’d had, even with his recent mean streak.

Mean. You’d never thought after that first night you’d be able to describe him that way. Cold, sure. Callous, perhaps. Indifferent, of course. But mean? Mean didn’t seem like something others saw Eddie as genuinely capable of. Steve always ranted about how good of a guy he was, Robin would tell fun stories of nights out with him and how much of a good time he was, Nancy considered the guy her best friend. You knew your new friends, and you didn’t take them as being the type to befriend someone so unkind.

But you didn’t see the good guy, the fun guy, the best friend. Whenever Eddie Munson was around you, his guard was up and his words were sharp. They cut through your unbridled disappointment with ease, reminding you that you were not his friend. You weren’t even sure if you were an acquaintance.

And sure, you took it too far at the diner. You could admit that, even before Robin scolded you. But to see him sitting with someone not from your friend group, to see him being so kind and endearing to someone new, had burned you with fury like no other. If he could treat some blonde he’d surely matched with on a dating app so sweetly, why couldn’t he afford you the same warmth? Someone he saw nearly weekly?

So you went for blood. Except, you were the only one wounded in the end, after the silent treatment you’d had to endure as you watched Eddie clench his jaw and pretend you didn’t exist.

“What are you drinking tonight?” Steve smiles when you enter his kitchen, brows still furrowed in careful thought over your miserable month, “I’m guessing something strong?”

“The strongest thing you’ve got, Harrington,” you reply, trying to shake back into excitement. It was going to be fun. You were going to drink with friends, partake in silly conversations no one would remember come morning, and you were going to have fun.

Steve holds up a bottle of vodka, a name brand you don’t care to acknowledge, along with a 2-liter of Coke, “Think this’ll work?”

You nod, and he pours. When he hands you the crystal cup reeking of overpoured alcohol, you take a sip and nod.

Oh, yeah. Two of these and I won’t even remember Mr. Stood-Me-Up.

“I heard about your date,” Steve means well, but the reminder is the exact opposite of what you want. You’re quick to glare at Robin, who throws her hands up in defense.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you quip, taking a larger second sip. If you weren’t trying to pace yourself, you’d probably chug the entire thing, “Not much to talk about, anyways. Got some free food and alcohol out of it, at least.”

“That’s good! I bet you dodged a bullet.”

I probably didn’t. “We can only hope.”

Steve pours himself a drink as well as Robin, and you can hear Nancy and Jonathan already chattering in the living room. No sign of Eddie so far. Maybe he wasn’t coming, and you’d finally caught a break.

“To forgetting the names of men who suck,” Steve chides as he raises his glass, and Robin mirrors him. You hesitate for a moment, a fraction of a second.

You were starting to believe it wasn’t them, it was you. You were the common denominator of all the terrible dates. Did sparks not fly with the Coffee Boy because you dampened the fuse? Was two-date-chump only talking to you about his exes because you didn’t provide anything interesting enough to take his mind off them? Surely, it had to be your fault that you were stood up the night before. Surely.

You pull from your pity party, and nimbly raise your glass. The rim hardly brushes that of your friends’ cups, but you all throw back your poisons of choice regardless. They don’t seem to notice the way you’ve begun to float within your head, the way you’re crashing through violent waves of pathetic self-hatred.

It was you. You’re the problem, and you’re the only one who can solve it. Eventually.

Robin is dramatically gagging on what you think might be redbull and vodka as Steve silently grimaces at his straight whiskey, clearing his throat before he says, “Okay, I know you don’t want to talk about last night, but Robin mentioned you’ve had a few dates this last month. Anything worth sharing? Any luck?”

There’s a snappy remark of clearly not on the tip of your tongue when the doorbell rings down the hall, and the three of you all turn your heads as Nancy calls out that she’s got it.

—

HOUR ELEVEN - 2:00 AM

Once Eddie starts kissing you, he can’t stop.

It isn’t soft, nor caring – the moment his hands meet the flesh of your hips, it’s bruising. He doesn’t even break for air as he fumbles with the knob blindly, giving a final twist of his keys before the door swings open behind you and the two of you stumble backwards into the sanctuary of his apartment. It’s all teeth, it’s all desperation, it’s the accumulation of a year of snide remarks and low-blow insults all coming to head as he kicks the door shut behind you and spins so that your back meets the wood.

Your hands are tangled in the curls at the nape of his neck and– oh God, when did you reach up and grab at his hair in the first place?

He groans at the force of your fist, and it suddenly doesn’t matter. You don’t care how they got there – you only care to keep them there.

He finally breaks the kiss, spit trailing between your lips as you both gasp out breaths, “You-” he dives back in, capturing your lips between his in a harsh and quick action before another break, “fucking-” another break, another gasp. He remains close enough that each harsh exhale flows right into your mouth, down your throat and into your lungs, “infuriate-” this time, he pauses, not moving back in for another kiss as his forehead is pressed hard against yours, eyes wide open and boring into yours, “me.”

The venom that laces the words don’t scare you. It’s all verbal aposematism, rehearsed and practiced hatred that bears no weight, not anymore. Not as his hips are digging into yours and another tug of his hair has him putty in your hands.

You know the dance well. You know the next step.

“Good.”

His next kiss is even more vicious, his teeth nipping at your bottom lip and making you whine into him, one hand finally unraveling from his curls to find purchase in fisting the leather of his jacket. There’s a fine line that neither of you are daring to cross, only toeing as teeth and tongues clash.

This time, when he pulls away, you’re the one chasing after him. You don’t care about breathing; you care about his lips on yours, sucking all the smoke and oxygen from your lungs.

He’s the one to finally cross the line. A hand comes up to your throat, not nearly as rough as it should be, as he keeps you in place with the back of your head pressed to his front door. A pleading mewl leaves your lips of its own accord.

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t be so desperate.”

The line’s been crossed, the chords all snapping between you two. There are no invisible strings tying you to the man before you, the man that has you aching between your trembling thighs and erratic breaths. Only gravity.

“Me? Desperate?” your voice nearly fails you as you lean into his touch surrounding your throat, preening forward so that your lips brush his, “I’m not the one fucking off to porn magazines that look like you, pretty boy.”

You’re both on the same side of the line now as you watch his eyes darken. It’s a sensitive topic, a bruise you’ve chosen to prod out in the hopes that he’ll break at the same alarming rate as you.

You need him to fuck you. You need him to use you, to throw any caution or revelations to the wind. You want him to push you so far you can’t remember your own name, let alone all the emotions that travel the channels between you.

“Think you can do any better than my hand, baby?” he questions as he buries his head into the crook of your shoulder, breath and lips leaving a buzz along the skin he comes in contact with. His fingers tighten ever so slightly, and your head rushes with a weightless bliss.

Your pulse is against his thumb, drumming beneath the pressure of it as you reply, “Do you think you can do any better than mine?”

A dozen insinuations layer the words, and he catches every single one. Your lashes flutter into your eyesight, lids growing heavy as he lifts his face from your shoulder and looks at you wickedly, grin spreading treacherously.

“Are you trying to tell me you touch yourself to me?” he taunts, pressing closer, “You thinkin’ of me at night when you get lonely, all desperate and pathetic, wrapped up in your own sheets? Do you wish it was my fingers, and not yours?”

Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. “In your dreams, Munson.”

“Of course,” he chuckles, “I thought that was a given. Don’t tell me you’re so dumb you’ve figured out I get myself off to your lookalikes, but not that I dream about you, sweetheart.”

The thought of it makes your stomach flutter, your thighs clench. He’s quick to shove his knee between your legs, letting you drop so that your crotch nearly brushes his thigh. But the distance remains and no relief from friction comes, he makes sure of it as his fingers finally lift slightly, letting the blood rush back to your head and into your cheeks.

“Is that what you were thinking about in the bathroom?”

His movements finally falter. You almost have the upperhand again, you almost have him back in your palms, back down to your height in cockiness.

You take his silence in stride, a smirk gracing your own face, “Oh, you were, weren’t you?” you pause, and drop a hand to his torso, nails raking over his shirt and making him suck in a sharp breath, “You thought I wouldn’t hear? You were being so awfully loud, y’know. Surprised you didn’t say my name.”

He breathes back to life, hand unwrapping from your throat to grip your chin, his thumb just barely making contact with your bottom lip as he tugs softly, “You would have fuckin’ liked that, wouldn’t you? As if I didn’t feel you get so hot and bothered by me on the bike,” it’s your turn to freeze, realizing your fears were valid, and he laughs lowly, “Oh, yeah, baby. I felt that. Hard to miss when you were clinging to me like I was your goddamn savior. What were you thinking about, hm? I bet you were thinkin’ about just that – me moaning for you, cumming for you. I bet it drove you fucking crazy, didn’t it?”

“What were you thinking about in the bathroom?” you whisper as his thumb presses harder into your lip, “Show me yours, I’ll show you mine.”

Your hand finally drops to its destination, cupping him through his sweatpants, wrapping around his girth.

He’s big. Bigger than you had expected, and he knows you’re shocked by the way you still once more, cocking his head at you with the utmost confidence.

He’s fucking lucky to be packing. It’d be a shame to be such an asshole and not have the ability to back up all his talk.

“You want me to be honest right now?” he asks, a thread of seriousness binding his words. You don’t hesitate to nod, even with his grip on your chin, “I was thinking about your mouth. Thinking about those pretty lips wrapped around my cock. I was thinking about you on your knees and those eyes looking up at me, all teary as I fucked your mouth.”

Your grip on him tightens, and you make the daring move to suck the tip of his thumb into your mouth, making eye contact as your tongue swirls around it.

“Fuck me,” he groans, throwing his head back, his grip immediately falling slack on your face. You see the opportunity and take it, surging forward to latch your lips onto his exposed neck. You start with light kisses, pressing them in rapid succession down the vein that lays poorly hidden by the stretched skin, pausing once you get closer to where the expanse meets his jaw.

“I’m trying to,” you taunt before sucking hard.

He moans loudly, echoing off the walls of his apartment, the hand still on your waist turning into an even more impossibly tight grip. The hand that once held your face has come up to tangle in your hair, gripping you by the roots and pulling you away just as the blood vessels on the surface have burst and bloomed in full shades of red and pink.

Your scalp burns as he pulls you to be face to face with him, eyes hard as you keep your hand on his clothed dick. You can feel him twitch as your palm at him, no longer caring about being desperate. You were desperate. You wanted him to give up the game, set aside the chase, and ruin you. You wanted his neighbors to hear as you chanted his name like a prayer, as every memory of every reason as to why you resented him fled your system with each thrust of his hips that could pin you to the wall.

“Is that what you want?” he’s no longer teasing you, his tone sounding as if he were asking for permission now rather than taunting you any further, “You want me to ruin you, sweetheart?”

The chase is nearing its end, and you nearly shatter with anticipation.

With one last trick up your sleeve, one last attempt to break him, you shrug as if you aren’t flushed and terribly flustered to the point of no return, “I guess. That’s one way to pass the time.”

When he breaks, it is sudden, and it is unkind. One moment, your break is aching from being pressed against wood, and your core is throbbing as you consider dropping to his thigh to find your own relief. The next, he’s throwing you around carelessly as his mouth slots to yours once more.

Just as it doesn’t matter how your hands found their way into his hair, it doesn’t matter how he pulls you from the door and navigates you to his couch. Your mind isn’t focused on where your body ends up, it’s focused on the feeling of his lips, chapped and pressing to yours eagerly. It’s focused on the way that the weight of his hands pressed tightly to your lower back feels. It’s focused on the overwhelming spice of his cologne, the smell of the night air still clinging to his cheek, the taste of his salt water as you dive under and let yourself begin to drown.

He’s consuming you, lungs and all. Limbs and all. Mind and all.

It’s a bad decision. This is going to be both of your downfalls, and you should stop before it goes too far.

You don’t stop it. Neither does he. All he does is throw you down to sit on his couch as he falls to his knees in front of you, bringing a palm to each knee and spreading your legs as he settles between them.

He’s the prettiest you’ve seen him yet. Even prettier than the first night. His lips are swollen pink, puffy and still lingering with your spit. Your mark on him, the first of many you need to leave, right along with the bruise on his neck. You wonder how hard you’d have to bite to bring blood tonight, you wonder which other spots on his neck would make him melt against you as you explored him fervently and left a whole collection of bruises that spell out your message very clearly – he’s mine for tonight.

His chest heaves as his eyes stare up into yours, hands gripping each of your knees. Even through the cotton, your skin is burning from his touch, your wildfire still thriving as you navigate this ocean he’s thrown the two of you into. A man-made river, more like it. It was made by his hand, it was created treacherously and with purpose against you, and yet you’re still here wading in it, also by his hand.

“Tell me to stop,” he begs, unexpected as his hands squeeze you, his eyes zeroing in on his palms as they travel up to your thighs, pulling you closer and making your back slide down the cushion from the position you’re seated in, “Tell me you hate me.”

For a second, you almost tell him you can’t. You can’t tell him to stop. Not as your leg lifts and his shoulder fits perfectly into the ditch of your knee, not as his hands creep further up to the band of the borrowed sweatpants. And once his fingers curl into the waist, knuckles pressing to your soft skin, you know you won’t.

“Don’t stop,” you whisper, making his eyes shoot up to meet yours again, “I hate you, but don’t you fucking dare stop.”

Quickly, at an almost impossible rate of speed, he yanks the sweats down off of you. They’re tossed behind him into a pile on his living room floor, uncared for and quickly forgotten.

Once your skin is exposed to him, he’s planting messy kisses linearly up your shin, over your inner knee, until he reaches your thighs. Marks are left in his wake, shades of deep maroon fading lilac as he nips and sucks against them just as you had to his neck.

“Show me yours,” he mumbles into your skin, fingertips pressing indents as he openly mouths over the hickies left behind.

“What?”

“I showed you mine, now show me yours,” he insists with wild eyes, hair hardly contained by the bun that once contained the curls, “When you touch yourself, what do you think about?”

“You,” you sigh out as he presses another kiss to you, even higher up now, growing dangerously close to your cunt.

“What about me?” he pushes, staring up as he removes contact, “Use your words, baby.”

“I-” you can’t think clearly, mind muddled with smoke and the image of him there before you, on his knees, “I think about your fingers instead of mine. How thick they are, how they’d feel.”

His smile shows little satiation, “Go on.”

You’re so focused on getting the words out, you nearly don’t notice a hand loosening its grip on your thigh, inching up to your panties, playing with the lace edges.

“I think about how deep you’d go, how you’d curl your fingers just- fuck,” you cut off with a gasp when his fingers slide beneath cotton, brushing over your wet folds.

“Just fuck?” he mimics, pouting slightly, “Afraid I’ve never heard that one before. Might need you to demonstrate for me. How do I curl my fingers just fuck?”

“Fuck you,” you whine, writhing beneath his touch as your ankles lock behind his head.

“I’m trying to,” he pitches his voice to mock your own, and you regret ever saying the words to him. He clicks his tongue against his teeth, shaking his head, “God, you want me to fuck you so bad, it’s making you stupid.”

His fingers stop teasing you as he finds your entrance, circling only the tip of his pointer finger to gather the slickness. Your hips buck, the desperation clawing its way through your entire body now, leaving ash and destruction in its path before Eddie brings an arm across your waist to hold you down to the couch firmly.

“Beg for it,” he commands, voice shooting straight into your chest, “Be a good girl and say please, yeah?”

His finger still circles your entrance, teasing but never quite pressing in, leaving you a whimpering mess. You begin to wonder if there will be any sign of how hard his forearm is pinned against you.

A battle of both your prides. He can feel you burning up now, he sees the flames dancing and he’s willing to play with them rather than give in to you.

You have to bite your lip to avoid letting the please on the tip of your tongue slip out for him. You’re still fighting him, still defying him.

“I have been far nicer to you than you deserve,” he continues his taunts, a grin growing when he catches the way you’re physically holding back, “We both know it, so just say it. Say the word, and I’ll keep playing nice.”

His finger breeches your entrance slightly, and you gasp, head thrown back immediately, “When have you ever been nice?”

He tsks, removing the tip of his finger, letting it glide up between your folds before it stops just short of your clit, “Oh, I’m always nice. You just never seem to notice.”

You think about it again. All the acts of kindness that went under the radar, all the times you’d buried in an effort to continue to harbor detestation for the man before you. He’s right – he probably doesn’t realize it, but he’s far more correct than you’d give him credit for at this moment.

“Please fuck me,” you whisper to the ceiling, before swallowing hard and leaning your chin back down, looking him in his eyes as you decide to give him more than he asked for, “Please ruin me.”

You’ve watched a mirage of emotions flush across his face on every possible occasion. Anger, distaste, aggression, laughter, annoyance. But you’ve never seen want quite like this grace his features.

“Gladly.”

His fingertip circles your clit, once, twice, three times, applying the perfect amount of pressure to have you crying out before he’s removing his forearm and nearly tearing your underwear to move it to the side and thrusting two fingers into your desperate cunt immediately.

You sob out and nearly double over, the sting and stretch making you keen as he wastes no time. You’ve said the magic word, you’ve played his game, and now, he’s returning the favor.

He’s playing nice. And, God, is nice quite the word to describe what he’s doing to you as he pumps his fingers into you, thrusting them in as deep as his knuckles allow before he curls them and brushes the spot that could make you scream with the right skill set.

He has the skill set. He notes your clenching on his fingers, and he curls again, with more intent this time.

Maybe the thin walls only apply to the inside of his apartment, if you’re lucky.

“Is this what you want?” he questions, leaning in so close to you that you feel his breath wash over you, “Is this what you meant by ruining you?”

You nod, finding it becoming increasingly harder to speak as you gasp, “Y- Oh, fuck. Yes. Ple- fuck. Please.”

He pauses, and you nearly scream out in frustration and protest before he rips your underwear off of you, dragging it down your legs and forcing your ankle to unlock from behind his head as he fights with the flimsy piece of cotton. You expect him to throw it, to let it join the sweats, but instead, he brings them to his face. He’s wolfish as he looks up at you, taking a deep breath in with the cotton pressed to his nose, not saying a word but watching you clench around nothing as he finally tosses the panties over his shoulder.

You see them catch on the coffee table, nowhere near the sweats.

“Smell so sweet, baby,” he coos, bringing his fingers back to you, his tongue peeking out to lick his lips, “I might just have to tast-”

A phone ringing cuts him off. The trill cuts through the silence, piercing both your ears, making you look at each other in fright.

“Don’t answer it,” the words burst out before you think them over. You don’t care about your friends right now. You don’t care about the bet.

You care about his fingers back inside you, curling and hitting that spot you’ve spent endless nights fighting to find without success. You care about getting his clothes off of him, of your eyes tracing over his skin and the ink you’ve yet to see. You care about his cock, springing to attention, before he’s sheathing it inside of you and bringing you both to utter bliss.

A phone call is at the bottom of your priorities right now. You just don’t care.

“It’s your phone,” he counters, glancing behind the two of you to where your phone is buried in the heap of black clothing, “I’m not answering it. But…”

“I’m not answering it, either.”

“If we don’t answer-”

“Eddie, I could fucking care less,” you sit up roughly, leaning in as close as you can in the compromising position, “We’re not answering it.”

The phone continues to ring, and he looks between you and it in clear confusion, “They’ll just keep calling-”

“Let them,” you insist, “If you don’t get your dick in me within the next minute, I’ll call this entire thing off,” you add on the last part as you reach out and your legs fall off his shoulders, hands replacing where your knees once rested as you bring his lips into yours.

Teeth, tongue, salt water, ash. It drowns out the final few rings as you continue to tug on Eddie feverishly, forcing him to rise from his position on the ground and kneel on the edge of the couch, a hand balancing him upright by gripping the back of the couch. Your kiss is all the convincing he needs.

“Fuck, fine, fine, I-” he cuts off, removing himself from you long enough to shrug off his leather jacket, to reach up and grab the collar of his shirt, yanking it over his head. The bun has officially unraveled to completion, curls flowing down over his collarbones and shoulders. You can’t keep your hands off him, fingertips immediately pressing into the exposed skin, “Just give me a second.”

He stands, and you whine, making him snicker as he kicks off the grey sweatpants.

“So impatient,” he teases, and you watch his face light up in delight as you can only bite your tongue in response. There’s something more there, something to be considered later. Later, when you aren’t aching for him. Later, when the moment of desperation has passed, when his waves retreat from your shores and you find yourself capable of breathing fresh air once more.

Later is not now.

The moment he’s down to just his boxers, you’re done waiting, doing as he had for you and dropping your knees to the carpet below.

“Hey, what are you doin-” he’s interrupted by you leaning forward, looking up at him intently as you kiss the tip of his dick through his boxers. Your lips come in contact with the wet spot clearly forming, and you can see the shiver roll down his spine, “Oh, fuck. What the Hell happened to me… me getting… me getting my dick in you…” He’s trailing off, unable to focus as your fingers slip beneath the waistband and tug down, his dick slapping against his exposed stomach.

“It still counts if you fuck my mouth,” is all you say as his boxers pool at his ankles, and you don’t even wait for him to step out of them.

Your phone is ringing again. You can feel the vibrations through the floor as you wrap a hand around his base, as you lean forward and place a proper kiss to his leaking tip, swirling your tongue in the precum.

This time, the two of you don’t argue about answering it. It’s hard to as your mouth is full of him, and his is full of curses.

“Jesus Christ, I- Fuck, right there,” he’s gasping as you wrap your lips around the tip fully, just as you’d done with his thumb, sucking gently and making his hand fly down to rest on the back of your head.

You bob down a few times, hollowing your cheeks and taking him deeper and deeper until your nose presses into the coarse hairs resting at the base. You pause, letting your nose press into him as you breathe deeply, feeling him hit the back of your throat. Your eyes water, just as he described, and you take pride in the way he can’t even look at you now.

You pull back, letting him drop from your mouth, smiling widely, “Better than your hand, right?”

“Fuck off,” his hand rest at the back of your head grips the hair there, tangling up as he shoots you a glare.

“Say it’s better than your hand, and I’ll fuck you off,” you press, letting a hand travel to fondle his balls, pinching the skin delicately, watching his reaction roll through him like waves.

“I- Fucking obviously,” he hisses as you smile, leaning down and pressing kisses along the shaft, “God, of course your mouth is better than my fucking hand. Of course it fucking is.”

“It better be,” you goad before taking him back into your mouth. This time, you suck harder, and his grip on your hair is painful once more.

“Shit.”

He’s at a loss for words, devolving into guttural groans and babbling moans as you quicken your pace, determined now.

You wanted to ruin him. After a year of his bullshit, after suffering through every fight and every argument, every passive glare and every turbulent comment, you want to make them man standing over you crumble to pieces.

Except he wasn’t just crumbling, he was shattering. Splintering apart as his hips started to thrust to meet your mouth, as you choked around him and refused to let up, resorting to stuttering inhales through your nose as you pressed your face back to his pubes, swallowing accidentally and making him nearly scream.

“Shit. Shit- stop. I’m going to f-fucking cum, stop,” he’s pulling you off of him suddenly, gasping for breath, not letting you refuse and push him over the edge.

You’re smug as you lean onto your heels, wiping your mouth clean of the spit that strings from your bottom lip to his red tip with the back of your hand.

“I think I win,” you state plainly, as if you weren’t currently taking heaving breaths, desperate to catch your breath and have his hands back on you.

“Win? Wh- It’s not a fucking competition,” he scowls, raking a hand down over his face, chest flush.

“It is, and I fucking won.”

“Yeah? You think you won, baby?”He recovers quickly, you’ll give him that. He goes from a complete mess to a force to be reckoned with in an absolute instant, stepping out of his boxers and kicking them from his warpath before he reaches down to tug you to your feet, “In that case, if this is a competition, I think I deserve a second chance.”

You open your mouth to be a smart ass, to say something cruel or something mean, but he steps back before you have the chance.

The look of want has turned stormy, confident and eliciting. A hurricane beckoning to you as he snaps his fingers.

“Take your fucking shirt off, and get on the couch, all fours.”

“I-”

“Now.”

There’s no more fires, no more oceans, and no more petty arguments left in you. You listen to him.

You throw off the sweatshirt, his sweatshirt, as he goes to one of the tables beside the couch and opens a drawer roughly.

“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, unhooking your bra as well, fully naked and aware that his eyes weren’t on you yet, “You just keep fucking condoms in your living room?”

“Who said I was looking for fucking condoms?”

“Oh, my bad. I just assumed. Should have known you were getting me naked just to go searching for fucking Narnia in your drawers.”

You were wrong. He was looking at you, and you’re only made aware by the sharp slap across your bare ass at the comment. It makes you spin quickly, looking at him and his set jaw.

“Couch. All fours. Now.”

“You’re such a sore loser,” you snark, taking a few steps back, trying to ignore the way the sting on your backside has your clit throbbing.

“You have no idea, baby,” he says without a hint of joking, looking back down into the drawer and continuing to dig as you turn away from him again.

Despite feeling exposed, you do as you’re told – you get onto the couch on all fours as he requested, knees digging into a surprisingly soft cushion that surely hadn’t felt that way earlier in the night when you’d attempted to sleep on the piece of furniture. You don’t dare to glance back at him over your shoulder when the drawer finally slams shut, hearing his heavy breathing as he returns to you being enough to force you to shut your eyes and take in a sharp gasp.

“Still feeling like a winner?” his voice winds around you, nearly choking you as you feel a feathering fingertip trail across your lower back.

“Always,” you lie breathily, voice betraying you as it shakes.

You feel the couch dip from behind you, legs spreading as Eddie fits himself between your calves, one hand latching onto your hip.

“God, I can’t wait to fuck the brat out of you.”

Without warning, he’s lining himself up with your entrance and pushing in, taking all the breath from your lungs as you collapse down onto your elbows and your cheek brushes the cushion of the couch.

It burns, his cock forcing you to stretch and accommodate you, filling you at an unbelievable rate.

You knew he was fucking big, but you hadn’t considered the consequences until this moment, as he truly feels as if he’s just begun his ruining of you.

“Fu-” the curse is lost in your throat, a small gasp as you press yourself down even further into the couch, mind swimming.

“Oh, no,” he tuts, sounding completely unaffected until he leans down over you as he bottoms out. When he gets closer, you catch it – the hitch in his breath, the way he pauses before he can speak, “That won’t do, sweetheart.”

He brings a hand back to your throat, just as he had when you two first entered the apartment, when the fight for dominance first began. It’s more from the pressure of his forearm across your chest, but the pressure is still applied on both sides as he guides you to straighten up your body against him, making him hit new angles that have you hissing out.

“I said on all fours, not just waving your ass in the air like some slut,” you clench around him at his words, and he chuckles breathlessly, “You like that, don’t you? You like being my fucking slut.”

You can only moan in response as he slowly pulls back his hips, feeling every inch of him beginning to retreat from you at an agonizing pace.

“You’re pitiful,” he groans into your ear, pressing his thumb further against your throat, cutting off the circulation for only a moment. Just long enough to send a rush to your head, “You say you hate me, say you can’t fucking stand me, but get cock drunk just from me putting it in. I’m only getting started and you’re speechless.”

You can only continue your pathetic whimpers, reaching back to grasp onto him before he tuts once more.

“Pathetic, baby.”

He slams back in, letting you drop forward. This time, you keep yourself up on your hands, letting out more small gasps, all of the noises getting half stuck on your tongue.

“But you’re winning, right?” he taunts, accentuating each word with a thrust as he begins to pick up his pace, “You’re the winner here, right?”

You don’t answer him, nearly drooling when he reaches forward and grabs up your hair, curling it around his wrist carefully before he pulls. It hurts, it makes you clench down on him, it has you babbling out nonsense you’re completely unaware of.

Each time he snaps his hips forward, his skin collides with yours, ricocheting off the walls around the two of you. Your arms shake, but you stay steady, refusing to collapse beneath him and the euphoria that scathes you.

He pulls your hair harder this time, making you arch your back into him, “Tell me you hate me.”

You cry out, feeling him hit even deeper as his free hand forces your hips to meet every thrust.

“Say it, baby. Tell me just how much you hate me,” he huffs out, clearly barrelling as quickly to his own release as you are, “Say you hate my guts,” another sharp thrust, and his balls slap against you, catching your clit and making your knees shake, “Say you can’t stand me. Go ahead, baby, say it.”

“I hate you,” you weakly respond, eyes tearing up as you feel your gut twist. Your fire, your blooms, his ocean. He’s making good on his promise – he’s ruining you, and you’re reveling in the wake of it all. Embers char you from the inside out, and your brain fogs over in pleasure.

“Say it like you mean it.”

“I m-mean it,” you gasp when he reaches around, chest pressing to your back, finger hovering over your clit, “Fuck, right there, please. I mean it. Please, please-”

“Say it again, like you really mean it this time, and I’ll let you cum.”

He stills, deep inside you, waiting with bated breath as his chin ghosts over the back of your shoulder. You stare straight ahead. If you glance down, you’d find your hands turned to fists, his ring still glittering on your finger.

He’s destroyed you. To unimaginable levels. You can’t comply with his request, not without becoming a liar, because it occurs to you that the man currently wrecking you is not a man you’re capable of hating. You hated the situation the two of you were in, you hated the year wasted, you hated the looming pressure of your friends awaiting a return call, you hated the words exchanged between the two of you with the intention of cutting deep. You hated many things surrounding him, but you didn’t hate him.

At Eddie’s core, he is still the man you first met. He’s finally drowned you, dragged you to the bottom of his ocean, and you can see that now. The man that first reeled you in at the bar never left, simply shrank away, hid himself away from you for some unknown reason that you hate. The man that dazzled you, enticed you, provided you with the opportunity of safety still exists.

“I hate you,” you grit out, fisting at the cover of the cushions, your entire body on edge. From him, from revelations, from a build of hate that had been misdirected for far too long.

“Good,” he gasps out, mouth falling open and against your skin, teeth grazing you, “Then this changes nothing.”

You don’t have time to ponder, or wonder why he didn’t mention the feeling being mutual. Once the words leave both of you, his finger connects with your clit, working an expert pattern that has you preening as his vigorous thrusting returns. It’s harsher than before, pain and pleasure blurring together as your scalp aches, your vines tighten, and your flames erupt.

Your vision whites out, and you don’t hear your screams of relief as much as you feel them. Your throat is hoarse, tears leak from the corners of your eyes, and the tension vanishes from your muscles.

Your arms collapse finally, and you don’t fight the way your cheek presses against rough fabric as his hips begin to stutter, his own ecstasy flooding over him before he’s crashing with you.

The two of you stay that way for a second, skin on skin, words lingering in the air, threatening to vanish. You don’t care – you match your breathing to his as he doesn’t pull out immediately.

A vibrating comes from the floor amongst the shared bliss, both of you too fucked out to move to go answer the phone. The money doesn’t matter anymore, not to you.

Everything aches. You come to realize just how rough the two of you had treated each other, pains ringing out from your throat, from your ass, from your abused cunt. Your knees are surely marked from the couch and floor alike, your scalp is screaming in relief without Eddie’s grip against it.

You don’t regret it. You don’t regret any of it, except a singular lie.

I hate you.

What a brilliant, foolish, laughable, bullshit attempt at a lie.

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#twenty four hours #my writing #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fic #very terrified because i feel like expectations are so high #please be kind i'm gonna have a PANIC ATTACK #i didn't read this back :) if you see mistakes don't @ me #let's hope for the best smut is between yall and god

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agi-ppangx · 10 months

Text

💭right person, wrong time (100 followers special)

“you should definitely go,” chan said quietly, his voice strained and filled with misery. you didn't say anything back, quietly fighting the tears angrily wailing in your eyes.

you two were lying on the beach, listening to waves hitting the shore. the sea was restless that day - as if it sensed your mood. you were cuddled with him on a small blanket you took from the car, surrounded by his cologne, the scent you knew all too well and loved even more.

you'd just told him about the offer you received a few days before. you were given this huge opportunity which could possibly change your entire career for better. though there was something that made this whole thing a bit less exciting. yes, you got into a one-year program for aspiring scientists, but it was taking place in canada. but who would reject such a great opportunity to finally spread their wings? who would even question whether to go or not? well, that would be you. of course, it was huge and it could quite literally change your whole life - better income, bigger knowledge, more opportunities to work with respected scientists in the future. but then there was chan.

you two met almost five years earlier. you were friends with felix, who happened to be chan’s friend as well, so it was natural for the two of you to meet up at different occasions. and the bond between you grew and grew. he would help you to figure out how to write an essay for a particularly mean lecturer even though he knew shit about the topic. and he would always bring you snacks and coffee for your late study sessions, helping you to write and cut the flashcards and proofread your drafts to check if there are any typos and grammar mistakes. but you two would also enjoy mundane activities such as going to the movies or cooking together. you would spare shy glances at him when he wasn’t looking just to admire him. in the meantime he shared his love for music with you, creating you various playlists for different occasions and playing piano for you. he'd never told you before, but with you he felt safe, as if any worries in his life disappeared when you approached him, you were his haven. and over the time you realised that you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore - his shiny eyes, soft smile and unique worldview made you fall in love with him too. of course, you hadn’t figured it out in a few days, you simply couldn’t. but after what seemed like eternity you both sorted things out in your heads and a week ago you finally talked about it. and when you thought that everything in your life was coming together the offer came and you started questioning every single decision you have ever made. you thought about how are you going to tell chan about it - you knew he would be supportive, of course he would. and you loved that about him. but deep down you were hoping, just a little bit, that he’s going to be selfish this time, that he’s going to tell you “please stay here with me”. but he simply couldn’t, he knew this was too big for you to let it go.

“you do want to go, right?” he then asked, there was panic in his voice at your lack of response. why was he panicked? “i guess so…” you finally mumbled, not sure at the moment. all you knew is that you wanted to be where you were right now - in chan’s arms, surrounded by his warm body and this pretty cologne.

“what do you mean? i mean, you love your job, it’s a great offer. i’m pretty sure not everyone got it” he spoke again, trying to help you, convince you that this is what you should do right now. in reality he tried to convince himself, not wanting to say anything that could discourage you from going. of course he wanted you to make your dreams happen, your happiness was his happiness. but why now?

"sure, i love my job, i just… now i wanna be here, with you," you mumbled, cheeks rosy. suddenly you felt embarrassed, because who on earth would put a boy over a great career?

but chan wasn't just a boy, he was a person you could quite literally see your future with. it didn't matter that you weren't really in a real relationship yet, you both knew it was just a formality now. "hey, yn, i'm not mad that you're leaving now. i want you to be happy and i know this is gonna make you happy, yeah?" he whispered, his voice getting weaker and weaker with every word. you suddenly got up, breaking free from his warm embrace. "you know what would make me happy now? being here, with you," you shouted, angry tears welling in your eyes. "going to the convenience store at 2am to buy some snacks, watching a new movie on netflix and cuddling on a sunday morning. you would make me really happy now," you whispered the last words, feeling defeated. what was the point of lying? he knew how you felt towards him.

the tears started falling down your face and you started to shiver from the cold wind. chan didn't waste time, he got up as well and brought you to his chest, hugging tightly, and started rubbing soothing circles on your back. he muttered sweet nothing into your hair, kissing your forehead from time to time. but you couldn't calm down, not now. you wanted to let out your anger and misery, wanted the whole world to know how deeply hurt you're right now. you wanted to scream on the top of your lungs at whoever was up there, cursing at them for putting you in this situation.

but you sobbed into chan's chest instead, desperately clutching at his hoodie. you were like a porcelain doll, fragile and defenseless.

"it sucks, you know? i-i really thought we could be together but-" you hiccuped through tears. at this point your head hurt, your eyes stung and you grew more and more tired. "it's okay, i'll wait for you however long you want me to" chan interrupted you, sensing your pain. it was hard for him too, knowing he has to set you free and let you spread your wings. how bittersweet, chan thought. he was willing to wait for you, but god, was he impatient by nature. he wanted to kiss you hungrily, clutch into your clothes and never let go. but now it would only broke the two of you even more and he was not letting it happen.

you stayed like this for a long time, over the time your broken sobs stopped, but you didn't let go of chan, clutching to him like a koala. he was quiet, running his fingers through your hair.

"i don't want you to regret going, yn" chan spoke suddenly, his voice barely above the whisper. "i don't mind waiting, i just want you to go there and make your dream come true, 'cause seeing you happy will make me happy." you sighed and finally looked up to make eye contact with chan. "you know i love you, right?" chan was caught of guard by your words, but he smiled nonetheless. he nodded and placed a soft kiss on your temple. "i will come back and when i do i'll make sure to compensate you this year," you exclaimed, taking his hand in yours and squeezing it.

a few days later chan accompanied you to the airport. you didn't want to let go of his hand, as if he was going to disappear as soon as you do. but the time didn't stop for the two of you and you had to say your goodbyes. "can i kiss you?" chan asked you and you looked at him. "not now. if you do, i won't go anywhere." he only smiled sadly at your words but nodded his head. he understood. with that you pecked his cheek instead and let go of his hand with tears in your eyes. "see you soon, chan" you whispered. "see you soon, yn".

feedback and reblogs highly appreciated🫶🏽

#skz #stray kids #stray kids fluff #stray kids headcanons #stray kids x reader #skz au #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids bang chan #skz bang chan #bang chan x you #skz chan #bang chan fanfic #skz angst #stray kids angst #bang chan angst #bang chan scenarios #bang chan imagines #bang chan x reader

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grxmreaperx · 6 months

Text

Professor Hoffman

Pairing: (professor!) Mark Hoffman x (f!) reader

Word count: 3.1k (oops)

Warnings: 18+!! this is absolute filth. Daddy kink, choking, oral (m! receiving), fingering (f! receiving), dirty talk, p in v penetration, creampie, age gap (everyone is over 18!!), praise/degradation. Mark being a bastard. I’m so sorry

Summary: You weren’t expecting much from your criminology class. But when you see your professor for the first time, you realize the class may be much more interesting than you were expecting.

I went so overboard with this. I do not know where this came from. I apologize for my actions. Also, all of my knowledge comes from Jim Can’t Swim and Explore With Us interrogation analysis videos, so don’t come for me if some of the criminology stuff is wrong!!

You walked into the lecture hall, bag digging into your shoulder after a long day, trying to find a seat. You sighed. Almost every seat was full, people congregating in the back. You set yourself down in the second row from the front, one of the few empty seats.

You pulled your laptop out of your bag, trying to keep yourself awake. This was your last class of the day and all you could think about was getting back to your apartment and having a nice dinner.

You stifled a yawn, eyes unfocused on your screen.

“Welcome, everyone.”

The deep voice jolted you from your haze, drawing your eyes up from your computer, and onto him.

You felt a jolt run through your body as you took him in. Dark hair neatly pushed back, full lips, chest straining at his suit.

“I’m Professor Hoffman. I’ll be your criminology instructor this semester.”

Shit, maybe you weren’t so ready to go home anymore.

That was the one class you didn’t find yourself dreading. Your other psychology and criminal justice classes were a bore, lecturers talking monotonously for an hour and twenty minutes as you tried desperately to stay awake. Professor Hoffman’s class was actually interesting, it challenged you, made you think. He didn’t force you all to listen to him talk the entire time, even if you wouldn’t have minded hearing that voice for hours on end. He had been a detective before switching to teaching a few years back, so he played interrogation tapes, having you all watch the body language, the word choice, the facial expressions of the suspect.

And it was nice to have something pretty to look at while he taught.

You were a bit embarrassed by how many times he had caught you staring at him. You had never looked at a professor as anything more than a teacher, a mentor, before now. But during his lecture, you found your mind drifting. What his voice would sound like in your ear, how his hands would feel roaming over you, the noises he would make.

You had had your fair share of adventures in college, going out with your friends and ending up in someone’s bed every once in a while. But none of them had been anything to brag about; frat boys only in it for themselves, guys who had no idea what they were doing, or didn’t know how to make it last.

You needed something more, something satisfying.

“So, tell me, do you think this suspect was guilty or not guilty? And tell me why.”

His voice shook you out of your daydream, bringing you back to your reality. Your eyes scanned over the screen, trying to remember bits and pieces of the interrogation you were supposed to have been watching.

You raised your hand; as much as you hated it, you wanted to impress the man. You wanted to show him that you were smart, that you knew what you were talking about. And that you were paying attention, not just staring at him the entire time.

He nodded towards you, telling you to go ahead. “Not guilty. He got angry when you accused him, which is a very typical response from someone who is being falsely accused. And he didn’t use any hedge words when he was talking, which would be unusual for a guilty person. And there’s no obvious motive.”

Your professor smirked, nodding along as you answered. “Very good. That’s exactly right. Another clue to tell you this was…”

You zoned out, trying to contain yourself at his praise.

He scolded himself, his gaze continuously falling onto you throughout every class.

He had left the police department a couple years ago, looking for a job with shorter hours, more time to relax, less frustration.

But now he had a different kind of frustration.

Every class, there you were. Sitting right in front of him, eyes watching him intently as he spoke. He saw the way your face changed every time he walked in the room, your tired face lighting up a bit. He saw the way your gaze lingered on him when you were supposed to be working on an assignment, or watching one of the interviews you were meant to be dissecting.

He noticed your attempts to impress him, always eager to answer his questions. You were always there early, even when others began to slowly fade out, showing up late or not showing up at all.

And, he had to admit, it was working. You were smart, and he could see how interested you were in this topic, even if you seemed to be a bit more interested in him than the class. He knew you’d make a great detective one day; your understanding of others’ minds would be a great asset to the force.

He almost wished he hadn’t left the department. He would give anything to still be in his position when you were first starting out in the field, eager to learn, to impress, to please. He would love for you to train under him, your frustration growing as he teased you, giving you smaller and smaller tasks, making you prove yourself.

He pulled himself away from his thoughts, shuffling his notes together before the start of class.

“Alright everyone, I’ve posted your grades for your last assignment. Some of you did very well, others seem to be a bit distracted in this course.” He purposefully shifted his gaze, meeting your eyes as he spoke this last part.

He suppressed a smirk as he saw your face flush.

“Now, the rational choice theory…”

“I really don’t know what I’m doing wrong in that class,” you sighed.

Your friend nodded. “I mean, he is a pretty tough grader. I don’t think I’ve gotten above a C on anything.”

“Yeah, but I feel like my work is good! Some of it he seems to really like, and then others he’s super harsh. But I thought this last paper was really good!”

“Maybe you should go talk to him about it. Maybe he could help you out, tell you what you’re doing wrong.”

“Yeah, I guess. I probably should. I really like this class; I want to do well in it.”

Your friend smirked. “Do you like the class, or do you like the hot professor?”

You lightly slapped their arm. “Shut up, I don’t think he’s hot.”

They laughed. “Of course you do! I see you staring at him all the time! It’s ok: he is pretty hot.”

You felt your face heating up. “Ok, maybe I think he’s kinda hot, but I like the class too!”

“I hear you.”

As class ended the next day, you took a breath. You shouldn’t be this nervous to talk to him, he was your professor, of course he would be willing to help you. You lingered in your seat for a few moments, taking longer than usual to stuff your laptop back in your bag. As people filed out of the room, you carefully approached his desk.

“Professor Hoffman?”

He looked up, smiling slightly as he met your eyes. “Yes, what can I do for you?”

“I was hoping that maybe you had time to talk to me about my last paper? I was wondering if you could tell me what I did wrong, or what I could improve next time?”

He regarded you for a moment and you couldn’t help but shift a bit under his gaze.

“Of course. I have another class in a few minutes, but I have time to meet tomorrow, if you’d like.”

You nodded, thanking him as he gave you a time and his office number. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

He smirked. “See you then. Don’t be late.”

“What are you all dressed up for?” your friend asked.

“What? I’m not dressed up. Do I look dressed up?”

“I mean, maybe not dressed up, but you look nice. What’s the occasion?”

“Nothing, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

They smiled. “Oh! Now I remember. You have your meeting with the hot professor today! That’s why you dressed so cute.”

“I did not!”

“I don’t believe you. You better hurry up, don’t you have to be there in a few minutes?”

You looked at your phone, cursing under your breath. They were right, you only had a couple minutes before your meeting. You sped up your pace, telling your friend you’d see them later as they walked to their class building.

“You better tell me all about it! Don’t do anything inappropriate, young lady!”

You hurried into the brick building that held Professor Hoffman’s office, trying to find the room number he had given you. Your eyes scanned the plaques next to each door, looking for the one engraved with his name. When you finally found it, the door was shut. You knocked softly, waiting patiently until you heard a voice tell you to come in.

You pushed the door open, examining his office as you entered. One wall was lined with bookshelves, filled with books on psychology, criminal justice, and what looked like case files. His desk sat in front of the window, his back to the light streaming in through the glass. He sat, leaned back in his desk chair, shirt slightly unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“Take a seat,” he said, motioning to the chair in front of his desk. You quickly complied, smoothing your skirt as you sat down.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you when you walked into his office, closing the door behind you. He should have punished you right then for testing him like that: all dressed up for him, pretty skirt cutting off just above your knees, shirt lower cut than he had ever seen you wearing in class.

“So,” he started, trying to regain his composure. “You wanted to talk to me about your paper?”

You nodded. “Yes, sir.” Fuck. “I was wondering if you could tell me what I could have done better with this assignment. I thought I did really well on it, until I got my grade back.”

He cleared his throat. “Yes, well, it was very well-written. And you have the concepts down. But your job was to analyze the video, not just repeat what I had said in class. Even if you put it a bit more eloquently than I did.” He smiled. “I almost get the feeling that you’re a bit…distracted in my class.

He watched as you became flustered, a smile still on his lips. “Well, professor, I just – I just have a lot on my mind. Sometimes it wanders, you know?” Your eyes darted around, staring at your hands, your bag on the floor, the surface of his desk.

He nodded. “Wanders to what?”

He couldn’t help the smug look on his face as you struggled to answer. He knew what your mind wandered to, he could see it on your face when you were supposed to be paying attention to his lectures. He saw the blush on your face, the way your pupils were blown. And he knew exactly where your mind was wandering to.

“Well, you know, to other things I have to do.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Like me?”

Your eyes widened. “What?”

“You heard me. I see the way you stare at me, the look on your face when I catch you. You think I have no idea what you think about when you’re in my class? You think I can’t read you like a book, sweetheart?”

He tilted his head, watching as you took in his words. You looked like a deer in headlights, knowing he had figured out your secret. He saw the way your body stiffened at the pet name, your legs pressing together.

“I’ll tell you what,” he started, against his better judgement. “You really want to improve your grade?”

You nodded. He told himself to stop, to kick you out of his office before he put his career in jeopardy. But, God, the look on your face, so eager to hear what he had to say, pretty face flushed with embarrassment, legs squeezed together so tight he thought you might explode.

“Cmere,” he said in a low voice.

You slowly stood, making your way around his desk to stand in front of him. “Tell me, sweetheart,” he growled. “Where does your mind wander to during my class? I want to hear you tell me.”

“To you,” you said softly.

“Cmon, baby, you can do better than that.” He knew he was being a dick, he saw how flustered you were, how you were trying to work up the courage to answer his question. And he loved it.

“To you – to you…”

“To me fucking you?” he helped.

“Yes.” Your eyes were fixed on your hands.

“Look at me and say it.”

Your eyes met his. “My mind wanders to – to you fucking me.”

“Much better. Now, you really want to improve your grade, sweetheart?”

You nodded and he saw the eagerness in your eyes, waiting for him to tell you what to do.

“Then get on your fuckin’ knees.”

He smiled, chuckling as you quickly dropped to your knees in front of his chair, hands getting to work on his belt. He watched your eyes widen as you released him from his dress pants and couldn’t help the feeling of pride that swelled in his chest.

“Something wrong, baby?” he asked, cocky smile spreading across his face. You shook your head. “Then go on.”

He let out a deep groan as you took him into your mouth, placing a hand on the back of your head. He wrapped his hand in your hair, guiding you as his dick hit the back of your throat. “Such a good girl.” He leaned his head back against the chair, savoring the feeling of your head bobbing on his cock.

His looked back down at you, eyes darkening as he saw how eagerly you sucked him off, spit coating your lips, tears welling in your eyes every time you took him down your throat. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little distracted during classes too, picturing you just like this.

He pulled your head back by your hair until you were looking up at him. “Get up here, sweetheart,” he said, motioning to his lap.

You shakily got to your feet before straddling his lap, setting your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. He reached under your skirt, hands gripping your ass. He watched as you began to grind your clothed core on his dick, admiring the desperate look on your face.

“What’s the matter, baby?” he asked, hand slowly wrapping around your throat. “So desperate for me. No one been taking care of this pussy?”

You frantically shook your head, grinding down harder.

“Poor little slut. Take them off. I’ll take good care of you, sweetheart.”

You shifted on his lap, pulling your underwear down your legs and tossing them to the side. He slowly ran a finger through your folds, letting out a low hum. “God, baby, this all for me?” Your answer was cut off by him pushing two fingers inside of you, your words turning to a moan. He slowly pumped his fingers, curling them inside you while your ground down on his hand.

“Poor baby, those college boys don’t know how to make you feel good? You’re so fuckin’ desperate.” You quickly shook your head, too lost in the feeling of him working you to form words. You whined when he pulled his fingers out.

He lined himself up at your entrance, the other hand wrapping around your waist, holding you steady. “Go on, baby. Show me how needy you are.”

You slowly slid yourself down onto his cock, mouth falling open as he stretched you out. His head fell back onto his chair, eyes screwing shut, before quickly opening them again, taking in the sight of you full of his dick. He placed his hands on your hips, keeping you steady as you began to bounce. You quickly picked up the pace, grinding yourself down on him, eyes clouded from pleasure.

Your moans filled his ears, eyes roaming your body as you fucked yourself on his cock.

“God, baby, you look so fuckin’ pretty. Such a good little whore for me, hmm?”

“Yes, yes, just for you, Daddy!” you moaned, before quickly catching yourself. He saw your eyes widen, realizing what you had just said.

He wrapped his strong arm around your waist, standing from his chair, still buried deep inside you, before setting you on his desk. He wrapped a hand around your throat, squeezing slightly and pushing your back down onto the surface. “Say it again.”

“I’m all yours, Daddy,” you said softly.

“That’s fuckin’ right baby.” He set a fast pace, roughly fucking into you, one hand still around your throat, the other gripping your hip so hard he knew it would probably leave marks.

He let out a groan at the sight of you underneath him, skirt bunched around your waist, mouth hanging open, hands gripping his arms. He watched your back arch off the table, squeezing your eyes shut.

He froze, abruptly stopping his thrusts. “Look at me when you cum on my dick, baby. Fuckin’ look at me or I’ll stop again. Understand?”

“Yes sir,” you cried, eyes locked on his.

“Much better.” His fingers found their way to your clit as he continued burying himself in you. “Cum for me baby, show me how much you love my cock.”

Your nails dug into his arm as your legs shook around him, moaning loudly as you reached your high. He felt his own end coming on. He leaned down, his face inches from yours. “Tell me sweetheart, where do you want me to cum?”

“Inside…” was all you could manage, still overcome with pleasure.

He smiled. “You want me to fill you up, baby?” You nodded, begging him to fill you.

His pace faltered as he came, gripping your hips tightly. He let go of you, placing his hands on his desk, catching his breath. He slowly pulled out of you, pulling his pants back up and tossing you your underwear. You carefully sat up, legs still shaking slightly.

He settled himself back in his chair, leaning back and running a hand through his hair. He smirked at you, sitting on his desk, completely undone.

“I suppose I can raise your grade on that paper,” he started. “But I do think we should have weekly tutoring sessions. You obviously need some more help with this.” He smirked at you. “Does that sound good to you?”

You never agreed to something faster in your life.

I really liked writing this, if y’all like it I may give you a part 2👀

#mark hoffman x reader #mark hoffman #fanfiction #fanfic #smut #saw #saw franchise

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eunseoksimp · 1 month

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Pleasure Is All Mine ; Anton Lee

Pairings: Sub!Anton x Dom!Reader

Genre: smut

Warnings: suggestive content, swear words, anton low-key being a perv.

Description: anton finally gives into his hedonistic sexual desires and you just can’t pass up the opportunity.

a/n: highly self- indulgent and low-key a throw away, but it did win the last poll so i hope you enjoy.

anton was a loser.

not in the typical sense, seeing as he had plenty of friends, with a plethora of women throwing themselves at him for his good looks and athletic abilities.

despite all of this there was only one girl who had the ability to render him speechless, to make all of the blood rush right down to his cock, spending his nights imagining her hands were the ones wrapped around him.

you sat next to him in his newly chosen health science module, pen twirling in between manicured fingers, bottom lip tucked in between your teeth. an overwhelming scent of lavender and rose oil often trailed besides you, always close enough so he could smell you, but never enough to touch.

he was thankful though, that you never seemed to notice the way he would spend entire lectures peering at you, picking up on your cute mannerisms. lips slightly parted, eyebrows furrowed together as you focused on what the teacher was saying, hanging on to his every word.

he wished you would pay attention to him like that.

it was hard to focus in class when someone so beautiful was in his vicinity. at this point he was desperately failing, and yet nothing could tear his eyes away from the side of your face. not even you.

‘stop fucking looking at me,’ you say one morning, still facing forward, and anton knew you were talking to him.

‘sorry,’ he felt his cheeks heat up as you roll your eyes and for the first time you look at him.

‘you’re weird, you do know that right? you look at me every day.’

a part of him feels happy to know that you’ve even noticed him, the stern tone in your voice making him shift in his seat. you watch him a little longer, now curious about the boy who had been sitting next to you for half of the semester.

your harsh tone, the way you weren’t afraid to challenge the boy who was physically a lot bigger than you, led to the small seed previously planted deep inside anton to germinate.

he had never admitted it aloud, but he got a weird feeling in his stomach whenever girls were mean to him. the act of subverting societal expectations, a 6’1 professional swimmer with shoulders broad and arms deliciously pumped being at the mercy of someone seemingly the opposite.

anton thought about it often, whenever he looked at you he imagined you punishing him for the way he would stare at you, hovering over him whilst you had your way with him.

for you, he was just another hormonal boy, not even having the decency to hide his stares, and it equal parts pissed you off the same way a small part of you relished in it.

‘do yourself a favour and keep your distance. or i don’t know what i might do to you,’ you whispered the last part, close to his earlobe, watching him gulp as a part of his body shook.

he blindly nodded, not even sure what you had said to him, instead focusing on the feeling of your body being so close to him, or the way you had to practically stand on your tiptoes to reach his ears.

‘that’s a good boy,’ you smirked, patting him on the head like he was a dog before sauntering away, the sound of your heels clicking down the hall as anton remained rooted in his spot.

blood rushed around his body, congregating at one particular destination, and he groaned at the problem he was now left with.

you had no idea what you did to him.

mid terms rolled around, and you were too preoccupied with exams to even worry about the strange boy anymore.

that didn’t stop him from appearing around you though, and you were starting to believe he was doing it on purpose.

he would be conveniently waiting outside of the library after one of your late night sessions, trailing behind you, as if he was watching to make sure you stayed safe.

he always seemed to have lunch at the same time as you, his friends all crowded around him, but you didn’t even have to look up to know he was staring right at you.

in class you decided to tease him, switching seats with someone else, and watching the way his face fell when he noticed you no longer occupied the space next to him.

his leg bounced up and down, fingers drumming the small desk as he gazed at you from behind. this cat and mouse game only made him more exhilarated, desperate for the day when he would finally be in your grasps.

but the desire burning into him soon became so raw, so uncontrollable, that it started to grow into a need. a need to be with you, his carnal desires beginning to overtake his senses until he just couldn’t take it anymore.

and that was what led to him finally approaching you again, eager to find out what it was that you might do to him.

‘be a good boy and kindly fuck off. thanks,’ unlit cigarette tucked between your teeth as you search for your lighter.

but he’s still standing there, shuffling on his feet, silently watching as you flick your lighter. taking a drag, you blow the smoke in his face, laughing at the shock painting his features.

‘do you have some kind of kink or something? how many times do i have to be rude for you to get it.’

his face burns up and he looks down, scratching the nape of his neck. you narrow your eyes, jumping down from the ledge and walking closer to him.

‘wait? you like when i’m mean to you, don’t you?’

there’s a teasing glint in your eyes, a wicked smile on your lips and anton gulps.

‘how pathetic? you probably get off to it too.’

he shakes his head profusely but you grab his chin, lifting his head up so he’s looking into your eyes.

‘don’t lie to me. i know a perv when i see one.’

‘i’m sorry,’ he mumbles, his eyes a little glassy as he desperately tries to settle the tent forming in his pants.

‘i’ll give you something to be sorry about baby boy,’ his eyes widen as you drop the cigarette to the ground, crushing it under your heels.

‘follow me,’ you say as you turn and start to walk away.

‘where are we going?’ anton asks, even though he is already behind you.

‘to have some fun.’

the best way anton count describe his current emotional state was a weird mix of lethargy and euphoria.

‘hold it,’ you tell him, feeling his dick twitch in your hand, knowing it wouldn’t be long till he reached his climax.

‘i-i- i-fuck i can’t,’ he whines out, thrashing in your hold and your hand comes around his throat.

‘good boys listen to what they’re being told.’

‘anton if you cum right now i will never touch you again. you don’t want that do you?,’ you say in his ear, chuckling as he shakes his head.

‘good. now keep still, i’m not done with you.’

anton bites his lip, digging his nails into his thighs as he tries his hardest not to cum. he wants to be your good boy, to listen to what you tell him to do, to have the privilege of being with you again.

but it’s all becoming too much for him as he tries to push your hand away.

‘did i say you can touch me?’

‘please.’ he’s sure that any moment now he’s about to orgasm.

‘please what? use your words baby.’

‘p-please c-can i cum?’

‘hmm, i don’t think you can.’

he cries out, ears ringing as he feels you pick up the pace, head thrown back as he continues to pant.

‘look at you behaving like a pathetic little dog. i really should make you my bitch.’

‘such a fun little toy. never met someone as filthy as you.’

your words are going straight to his cock, and he moans when you squeeze his tip.

‘stupid boy, i bet you’re about to cum. want to make a mess in my hand, don’t you? want me to tell you to let go,’ you taunted him, the grip on his neck tightening as you watch his head roll back.

‘can’t-hold- i can’t hold it anymore, please,’ the wicked smile on your lips spread even further and you leaned over him till you were right by his ear.

‘cum for me baby.’

his hips buck up in an attempt to meet your thrusts, until his chest rises heavily, mouth agape as he throws his head back and cums so violently that he has to hold onto the sheets underneath him.

spurts of his cum shoots out, and you’re amazed at the way it keeps on going and going until his stomach, the sheets underneath you and your hand are covered in it.

curious, you raise a finger in your mouth, humming when you swallow, anton still shaking in the corner, his eyes watching your every move.

sensitive and overstimulated from what felt like hours of edging, you crawl over until you’re kneeling by his body, moving his sweaty hair out of his face.

‘thank you,’ he mumbled, his head still a little blank, legs jerking as you hook your arms around his neck, straddling him as you pull him closer.

‘the pleasure is all mine baby,’ you trail kisses up his neck, enjoying the way he melts into your touch, so pliant as he tilts his head for better access.

‘but i’m not finished with you yet.’

#riize #riize imagines #riize imagine #riize x reader #riize scenarios #riize smut #riize x imagine #riize anton lee #anton imagines #anton #riize anton #anton smut #anton lee #anton x reader #lee chanyoung #riize lee chanyoung #riize chanyoung

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heesdreamer · 1 year

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JUST BE

PAIRING ➩ sunghoon x reader

SUMMARY ➩ classic cliche bad boy x good girl reader paired for a class project but with a few modifications lol…

WARNINGS ➩ violence, injuries, sexual content, sunghoon is a dick head kinda, heeseung is DEFINITELY a dick head

WC ➩ 18k (almost dethroned skin on skin)

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ so this sat in my notes unfinished for months.. which i never stop a work halfway and im not sure why i did considering this flowed out of me after i picked it up again but it’s NOT PROOFREAD and mainly written at 3am i think you maybe know the drill if ur familiar with me and my work lol.. not my favorite but i like the dynamics and i hope you do too

College was almost too easy for you. You were constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, to get the mean professor or the class with they heavy workload that you ultimately failed when you couldn’t withstand the pressure.

But it hadn’t came and you were feeling extremely lucky that the universe had seemingly spared you, atleast for your first year.

You always took school seriously, maybe too serious according to some of your highschool friends but you felt pride when you got high praise and it calmed you to know your hard work granted better results.

Still, it wasn’t like you had become some grade obsessed monster who didn’t feel emotion outside of the urgency of a deadline.

Quite the opposite in your humble opinion. Another thing you prided yourself on was your constant good attitude. You liked to smile at peers in the hallway and help teachers tidy up after a long lecture. It made you feel good to be kind and bubbly despite the stress that sometimes ate away at you.

So it was almost an impossible sight for you classmates as they watched your current dilemma unfold, the other shoe dropping with a loud smack the echoed inside your head.

“Did you hear me Ms. Y/N? I said your partner for the semester is Park Sunghoon.” Your professor was croaking from directly in front of you, your preferred seating being the first row in the room.

You were sat frozen in your chair, hand gripped around your perfectly sharpened pencil so tight you could feel the wood croaking in your palm. You usual smiley face was blank and stony, zoning out into the space in front of you as you wished for it to swallow you whole.

“It’s not that big of a deal Y/N.” Jungwon, your closest friend, was grimacing as he looked at you, standing infront of you and titling his body so he could peer at your unmoving expression. He was waving a hand in front of your face like he was trying to snap you out of a trance.

“There’s no point in lying.” Your other, and more pessimistic, friend Riki was speaking now and you let his bored tone seep into your ear. “She’s fucked.”

This snapped you out of it, letting out a loud groan and slamming forward onto the table dramatically, Jungwon’s hand coming out just in time to stop you from slamming your forehead onto the hard wood.

“Okay let’s not get theatrical here.” He was sighing through a wince of pain as he wiggled his fingers against your forehead. You slightly lifted it so he could take his hand back before dropping it back down with another groan. “I mean how bad could it be? Have you ever even talked to him?”

You briefly considered these two questions.

How bad could it be? Try absolutely, without a doubt, entire academic career ruining level of bad.

His second question was a bit more difficult. You had technically spoken to Park Sunghoon on multiple occasions but you’re not quite positive he had even realized it was you he was talking to. He had a tendency to not particularly pay attention to the people around him, and especially not their feelings.

The first day you’d spoken to him was actually your first day in general. You’d walked into your first lesson with a bright smile, hair perfectly pinned back and clutching your books to your chest in excitement for new things to learn and people to interact with.

Said books you were clutching didn’t last more than a few seconds in your relaxed grip once Park Sunghoon entered the room, his eyebrows furrowed as he turned the corner before registering you were still standing there in an attempt to pick which seat you wanted. His large frame was smacking into your back and sending you, and all your supplies, sprawling across the floor.

He hadn’t helped you up, or even looked back in your direction to see if you’d been seriously injured.

Your next few interactions weren’t as dramatic or grand scale but you remembered each one and so did your friends, considering you spent months complaining about each and every single time he managed to ruin your perfectly good day.

“Do you remember when he said it looked like she had gum in her hair because she got those new hair pins?” Riki was remarking from your bed behind you, a slight amused tone in his voice at the memory of your angry red face tearing them out of your bangs at lunch.

“That wasn’t nearly as bad as the time he stole her essay idea, and then didn’t even do the essay.” Jungwon didn’t sound as amused as Riki did as he recounted the story. He was a sweet boy by nature, one of things you bonded over at the start of your friendship and he wasn’t the biggest fan of your classmate because of this.

You listened to them talk and felt yourself getting more and more agitated, something that was extremely rare for you to show visibly. You pushed your forehead deeper into the wood desk, wishing it would let you mesh atoms together so it could completely swallow you up.

The bad mood hadn’t subsided by the time your hangout was over and the boys were leaving your dorm, wishing you good luck in talking to Park Sunghoon.

Your current biggest problem was exactly that. Despite being almost certain you’d be doing all the project work yourself, something you didn’t mind considering you held doubt he knew a single fact about the subjects appointed to you , you still felt the obligatory need to extend the offer of working together.

However you were realizing now you had absolutely no idea where to find him. It was increasingly rare these days that he was actually in class, only seeing him sometimes showing up minutes after it had ended and talking in a hushed tone with the teacher. Those days you’d slowly pack your stuff into each neat folder, trying to catch a word of their conversation.

You never had any luck and then he’d be gone again, leaving your nosy curiosity completely unsatisfied.

You imagined you could send him a message on some form of social media but that would require following him first and the thought of him spending even 20 seconds in confusion about your sudden follow before you were able to send an explanation message made your stomach turn.

So you had decided that the next day you’d march into class and sit and wait for him after it had ended, unmoving in your seat and forcing him to communicate with you.

You’d gotten prepared the night before, running over your convincing speech and tightening your ponytail before you entered the classroom with a determined look on your normally bubbly face. Your plans were immediately deterred when you went to sit down and found him already there.

Park Sunghoon was not only in class but he was sat in your seat, manspreading carelessly with an extremely bored expression. You knew it had to be on purpose but you couldn’t recall a time where he’d ever paid enough attention to you to know where your seat was.

You faltered for a few seconds before annoyance took over again and you refreshed your attempt at a look of intimidation. You stomped your way over to the desk and placed your books down on it with a mild slam, wincing at the loud noise you’d accidentally caused.

He didn’t react to the sudden spike in volume but he slowly trailed his eyes from your books up your arms, stopping when he met your gaze to raise an eyebrow.

“I’m Y/N.” You blurted out and you stuck a hand in his direction, attempting to initiate a handshake. “I’m your partner for the semester.”

It was silent for a few seconds and you looked down at where he sat, nudging your hand forward awkwardly like he couldn’t see it directly in front of his face. He ignored it and watched you with an amused look on his handsome face.

“Why are you introducing yourself?” He was finally saying and this took you off guard, the confirmation he knew who you were both surprising you and irritating you further at the implication his previous comments and interactions towards you were intentional.

You huffed and brought your hand back down to your side. “So you know who I am?”

“Row A, always raising your hand. Tight ponytail.” He stretched out the word ‘tight’ and you frowned at the innuendo. “Lacking your usual cartoonish grin but, yeah, I know who you are.”

“My smile is not cartoonish” You were hissing through your teeth at him and he smirked at that being the only thing you could manage to deny, too honest to refute his other claims even when you were frustrated.

He raised his hands in mock surrounded and your frown deepened, an uncharacteristically clouded expression taking over as your worst fears were confirmed. He was going to make this truly difficult, maybe even impossible. You resigned to sitting in the spot next to him, one over from your usual place.

You could feel him looking at you as the professor began talking, sneaking quick glances and sometimes downright staring holes in the side of your head.

For once in your entire academic career, you didn’t participate in class even remotely. You let your worries for the grand picture distract you from learning anything small today, zoning out with your lips in a pout until you noticed everybody packing up. Somehow you managed to fast forward through the entire thing.

Sunghoon was standing at the same time as you and as you made your way out of the room, he stepped infront of you and blocked your path completely. You tracked your eyes up his broad chest to his face and waited for him to add on to your already terrible day.

Instead he was sticking his hand out, similarly to the way you did earlier whilst waiting for a returned handshake. However his hand wasn’t fully open, clutching a small sticky note between his fingers and wagging it impatiently when you took too many seconds to stare at it in confusion. The second it was in your grip he was turning on his heel, out the door before you could speak or read it.

You glanced down at the paper in your hands with furrowed eyebrows, taking a second to decipher what he’d given you so abruptly.

When you finally pieced it together you felt a small surge of hope pass through you, smiling softly as you left the classroom, clutching Park Sunghoon’s phone number in your hand.

——

The little ball of hope you’d been presented didn’t last very long, disintegrating into a handful of nothingness before you’d even really had any time to appreciate its arrival.

You’d swallowed your pride and sent Park Sunghoon a text, very formative and stern in a request for him to meet you at the library before it closed. He hadn’t replied but you knew he had seen it and for some reason you thought he would actually show up despite having no evidence to that fact.

“Still waiting for somebody Y/N?” The boy who worked the front desk at the library was pushing past you with a cart of returned books, finishing cleaning up before he could close.

“Yeah I’m sorry Jake.” You frowned slightly and kept your tone polite, feeling guilty for slowing down his process.

He smiled at you and shook his head like it was no big deal, causing you to smile in return and bow your head slightly in appreciation. You were beginning to think you should just pack up and go to avoid causing him more issue until you heard a throat being cleared from behind you.

You immediately tensed up at the familiarity of it and you turned around in your seat to see Park Sunghoon standing a few feet away, watching Jake walk away with a raised eyebrow and a curious expression.

“You’re late.” You spat at him as your face dropped and you sighed, spinning back in your chair and fidgeting nervously with the opened book in front of you.

“Are you nice to everybody except me?” He was ignoring your nagging and making his way towards the table, surprising you by sitting directly next to you instead of the open seats across. “Where’s that Y/N classic smile?”

You shot him a glare but couldn’t help feeling slightly bad considering what he was saying. It was totally against your nature to be rude to somebody, even people who didn’t treat you the best necessarily.

“I take studies really seriously.” You explained to him, trying to soften your voice “And I don’t have a classic smile I just smile like a normal person, unlike you.”

He looked thrown off by your sudden banter and let out a scoff. “I smile.” He immediately argued.

“No you don’t, you smirk. There’s a big difference.” You were closing the book in front of you and he gave you a mildly confused glance, despite keeping his nonchalant demeanor. “The library closes in ten minutes, I told you that you were late.”

“Can’t you ask your friend to have some patience?” His words confused you for a second before you realized he was referring to Jake.

You scoffed in disbelief and shook your head, standing from your chair and starting to pack your belongings back into your bag. He groaned like he thought you were too sensitive and leaned forward slightly so he was still in your field of vision.

“What did I do now? You’re mad because I said you had friend? Aren’t you like friends with everybody?” He was droning on in a bored tone as he watched you continue packing, waiting for you to take the bait.

“I’m not mad.” You shook your head and gave him a forced smile. “I am simply coming to the realization my semester partner has no care for other peoples time. I wanted to give you the opportunity to actually prove yourself for once during your years at college but it’s clear you’re not interested so I’ll be going now.”

You glanced at him once last time as you spoke and you felt a wave of guilt come over you again at the way he tensed and his jaw ticked at your words. You looked away quickly in shame and gave him a small wave as you walked away, nodding at Jake as he said he’ll see you tomorrow.

——

“You said that?” Jungwon’s loud voice was overthrowing the sound of your upset groan as he rounded his way from the kitchen. “Y/N, how could you say that?”

“What are you talking about man, its Park Sunghoon. I think it’s awesome.” Riki was chiming in from the couch.

You were sprawled across the carpeted floor in dismay, immediately calling your friends over as you rushed out of the library with teary eyes and guilt from your mean comment.

“I love you Rik, but you finding anything I’ve done cool let’s me know it was something terrible.” Your words were half groaned and he looked offended for half a second before nodding in acceptance.

“I’m going to have to change schools.” You were dramatically continuing on, tugging your sweater over your hands and covering your face to mumble complaints through the fabric.

Jungwon was joining you on the carpet now and slowly feeding you a strawberry he had been cutting up, like an animal he was trying to calm down, and giving you a soft shake of his head. “No you won’t have to change schools. You just need to see him and apologize.”

“That’s the problem, I never see him.” You were mumbling around the strawberry and your other hand was anxiously scratching along the carpet in an attempt to self soothe.

“Well I overheard from Jay that’s he’s going to that stupid frat party I’m going to tonight. I’m sure I could get the two of you in.” Riki was chiming in again from the couch and you vaguely heard Jungwon scolding him, mentioning how you’d never been to a party before and never would when you were suddenly sitting up.

“That’s perfect.” The speed in which you sat up startled the both of them and they looked at you with confusion. “I’ll go to the party and apologize.”

“What?” Jungwon was raising an eyebrow as Riki clapped excitedly. “You’re going to go to a party, Y/N what’s gotten into you?”

“Correction Jungwon, we are going to a party.” You were grinning for the first time that day, excited at the idea of having a good night and getting the chance to right your wrongs, not paying any attention to the way all of the color drained from your best friends face.

——

The excitement hadn’t lasted more than a few minutes after entering the door.

The first thing that registered for you, was how much you underestimated what a frat party would be like, assuming it was played up and exaggerated in movies for the sake of entertainment.

Turns out, it was shockingly similar in the way it visibly was out of control and stunk like vomit and cheap beer. Your shoes felt sticky against the wood floors and you tried with all your might to keep a grimace off your face. People were greeting you excitedly, some making drunk comments about your rare appearance at a social event but seemingly friendly in their surprise at seeing you out for once.

The smile on your face wasn’t a good showcase of how you actually felt considering you were slowly getting more and more overwhelmed and the night was barely beginning. You’d almost forgotten why you were there in the first place in your building panic.

Jungwon had stayed close to you the entire night, looking similarly upset and irritated but wearing it openly on his face unlike you who at least was attempting to pretend to be enjoying yourself.

He was practically glued to your back as he shuffled around the main area, avoiding the shoulders of tall frat boys and the elbows of drunken college girls flailing around the dance floor.

“You guys could atleast try to look like you’re not being held hostage.” Riki had at some point wandered away to greet his sporty friends but he was now circling back with a drink in hand as he leaned down to speak to you, an eyebrow raised in disapproval.

You furrowed your eyebrows and gave him your best attempt at a casual expression, nudging Jungwon to do the same awkwardly, both of you dropping into frowns when your friend simply let out an amused chuckle.

“I just need some air.” You were shaking your head and putting your full cup down on the counter behind you, gesturing towards your friends sternly. “Stay with him, I’ll be back.”

You swiftly made your way away from them, ignoring Jungwon mumbling about not needing a babysitter, heading towards the slider door you’d seen briefly earlier.

By the time you’d made it over there and thrown it open, you’d sent hundreds of wishes to the universe that nobody would be out there. It was dark out on the small balcony but from what you could tell, your prayers were answered.

Your hands were touching the cold metal of the railing as you leaned your upper half over it slightly, taking deep breaths and shutting your eyes tight to try to bring your nerves down.

It was easy to be social and friendly in casual spaces like a classroom, quick conversations in the hallways that held no substance or weight came naturally to you and made your head feel lighter after a heavy work load but you’d never been a fan of large dense crowds in intimate spaces.

“Please don’t tell me you’re about to start singing.” You froze at the sound of somebody talking, spinning around to see you had clearly missed the other person leaning against the wall of the balcony in your haste to escape the party.

Park Sunghoon was stood casually, ankle crossed over the other as he watched you from the shadows. Your eyebrow quirked up at the burning red ash hanging off his lip and he shrugged softly at your curious glance.

“Why would I start singing?” You almost snapped the words but reeled your emotions in, remembering suddenly that you were meant to find him and apologize tonight.

“Looks like a disney princess, acts like a disney princess… you do the math.” He was answering like it was obvious and you were regretting your plan for the hundredth time that night.

You ignored his obvious attempt to bait you despite your instinct begging you to ask him what he meant by that, unable to tell if it was a diss or a begrudged compliment. You were taking a step towards him awkwardly with a sheepish expression and his raised eyebrow made another appearance. “Listen Park..”

“Please don’t make me listen to an apology monologue.” He was quickly interrupting you and your mouth dropped open in disbelief, staring up at him with wide eyes. “Consider it forgiven, plus you weren’t exactly wrong anyways.”

He was looking at you intensely but you couldn’t quite place what his expression was saying considering how dark it was, only relying on the reflective light of whatever he was smoking to provide some clarity.

“Great, so I came to this stupid party for no reason.” You were relieved he had seemingly forgiven you despite the awkward tension in the air but now you felt more defeated, having wasted an outfit and an entire night that you could’ve been in bed comfortable and studying during.

You sat down on one of the chairs around the balcony with a sigh, half laying down in social exhaustion. He let out a breath that could’ve been a laugh and then he was moving away from the wall and sitting down in another chair across from you.

He was easier to see now and you scanned his outfit as he rounded into the chair, feeling embarrassed suddenly at his casual attire and tightening your cardigan around your middle to try to hide the obvious effort you applied.

“Are you implying you came all the way to your first party just to see me?” His voice was mocking but not particularly rude, regardless it caused heat to rise to your cheeks. “How’d you even know I’d be here?”

“Riki said…” You were mumbling as you shrugged and avoided looking at him, suddenly realizing how weird your whole plan could seem from an outside perspective.

“Your tall friend.” He was stating in confirmation and you nodded. You were slightly thrown off that he knew what your friends looked like, along with the fact he had either just assumed it was your first party or paid attention enough to know you didn’t go out much.

The two of you didn’t say anything after that for a moment, only the sound of his inhales around what you could now see was a cigarette and the low thumping of music on the other side of the glass door, breaking up the silence.

You were trying not to stare too hard at him but you found it weird he had accepted so quickly the rude things you’d said, sitting out in the cold across from you like you were friends casually taking a smoke break.

Park Sunghoon typically fell pretty high on your list of stress inducers, your other wise easy going days and personality helping you breeze through most weeks without any issues. So it felt beyond strange to be finding comfort in the silence that came alongside his presence.

It didn’t last long however, only extending around ten minutes before there was loud banging against the slider door. Sunghoon didn’t move, just carelessly glancing over but you jumped up out of your seat and smoothed down your dress.

Riki was standing on the other side of the door, his fist pressed against it from where he’d just been slamming on it. His sharp eyebrows were furrowed in irritation and you gave him a confused glare before he was gesturing over his shoulder to where Jungwon was currently in the middle of the dance floor.

“Oh wow.” You heard Sunghoon breathe a laugh from his spot in the chair, the sight of your usually uptight friend dancing around with a sloshing cup, throwing the both of you off. “That’s probably not good.”

“Yeah.” You let out in a rush, glancing back at him and then towards Riki again apologetically. “I should probably go.”

You’re not sure why you said it, feeling immediately embarrassed when he gave you an amused look and shrugged his wide shoulders like he didn’t require you to say goodbye to him.

You were stumbling away from the porch in a hurry before you could embarrass yourself more, the loud noises of the party immediately hitting you once you slid the glass open to join Riki in an attempt to get Jungwon home.

——

Your normal schedule was already in a complete disarray and you were one more mishap from breaking down, quickly moving through the halls with your backpack clutched to your chest so it didn’t smack against your back as you ran.

“Hi Y/N.” Jake was greeting you casually once you made it to the library, an hour past when you normally liked to be there. “Rough morning?”

You glanced at him from where you were bent over, hands on your knees and you tried to catch your breath. You gave him a small smile and nodded your head, sitting up slowly and placing a book down in front of him gently on the customer service desk.

“Any good?” He was smiling at you as he scanned it, placing it in his return pile and leaning forward on the surface so he could focus in on your response.

“Not sure if it’s your taste but I liked it.” You shrugged at him and you grinned and he nodded his head in understanding, glancing behind you momentarily.

“Your scary friend has been waiting for you I think, by the way.”

You were turning as you spoke, shaking your head at him in amusement. “Riki isn’t scary, he’s just…”

Your words trailed off as you followed his line of sight and quickly realized who he had been referring to. Park Sunghoon was sat at the table nearest to the entrance, leaning back casually and playing with his pen, his classic raised eyebrow as he watched you and Jake interact.

He didn’t say anything but he looked slightly amused at the way your mouth dropped open in surprise, faltering completely.

Giving a smile to Jake and a small wave, you hesitantly made your way over to where Sunghoon was sitting and placed your backpack down on the chair across from him.

“How’d you know I’d be here?” You questioned him with a slow tone and you watched his expression to see if he’d be annoyed at your lack of greeting.

“Library boy said he’d see you tomorrow.” He shrugged like it was an obvious thing to pick up or care about. “And it’s tomorrow.”

You gave him a questioning stare that he held without any issue, slowly sitting down in your chair and trying to decide what approach to take to such a strange conversation. You hadn’t expected to see him again, surely not as soon as you currently were and not in the library.

“Would you rather me have not shown up?” He was cocking an eyebrow at you and you stared at him for a few seconds, trying to decide if he was baiting you into another argument or if he was genuinely trying to understand your current thought process.

You weren’t exactly sure how to answer his question, grateful he had shown up despite your previous out burst but also feeling extremely awkward after your weird interaction at the party. You’d had plans for what to work on today, a list of precise details and assignments you needed to complete, but your mind felt completely blank now looking at him.

He shifted in his seat and you realized you hadn’t answered him yet, clearing your throat quickly and offering him a small smile and a brief nod.

“I’m glad you showed up Park. We have a lot of work to do.” You were chirping out and he scoffed out a laugh at your sudden bright tone, putting back on your usual nice tone and expression. Your eye twitched at his disapproving laugh but you attempted to keep your cherry mood as you pulled open one of your shared classes textbooks.

You could feel him staring at you as you did so and your hands suddenly felt stiff and clammy under his watchful eyes, your movements awkward and clumsy.

“Do I make you nervous or something?” He was suddenly speaking again and you froze where you were bent over to reach the floor and dig through your backpack.

You sat to swiftly to glare at him, fixing your hair when it shifted forward into your face and he smirked slightly again at the familiar look returning to your face. He was leaning back in the chair casually and his arms were crossed as he looked at you, jacket pulled tight on his arms.

“Why on earth would you make me nervous Park.” You were whispering to him but the words were forced and rough, leaning forward with tour elbows on the table.

“Scared maybe?” He was shrugging like it was obvious and you gave him a confused expression, not sure where he would’ve gotten that idea from. “Just assuming considering your guard dogs have been staring at us this entire time.”

“What are you-“ You were shaking your head and trailing when he was lazily glancing over your shoulder as an explanation. You whipped around in your seat just in time to see two familiar faces hurriedly duck behind the nearest book shelf. You could hear Jungwon’s voice complaining in a whisper shout that Riki had bumped him on accident.

You were turning back to the table and groaning loudly, a sound you rarely made outside of your friend group and Sunghoon’s face almost twisted in surprise. You put your head in your hands and avoided looking at him in embarrassment.

“They’re psychotic.” You were announcing, your voice muffled by your sleeves and hair.

“They’re kind of funny.” Sunghoon was saying it like he was reluctant to admit it and you picked your head up to look at him in surprise. His expression remained neutral, as always, as he looked at you. “You guys should come to my friends party this weekend.”

Despite seeing him at the last party, it completely threw you off to hear him so casually mention going to one. Then it dawned on you that he was not only mentioning it, but inviting you and your friends and you completely flushed.

He was still just watching you with that same blank stare and you suddenly felt extremely nervous at his proposition. You didn’t take him as the party type, and you also didn’t know he had friends in the first place let alone ones who were social enough to throw parties. You were shaking your head before you even processed doing it and his eyebrow cocked again.

“We don’t really… party much.” You were awkwardly mumbling out and he gave you a disbelieving look.

“The little one sure seems to.” He responded quickly and you were confused for a second before remembering he had also been a witness to Jungwon’s adventure last time, the sole reason your conversation on the deck had been cut short in the first place.

“Do you always know this much about people?” You changed the topic to try and distract him from the fact you had completely lied about your friends recent habits, sliding your elbows further on the table so you were leaned over it a bit and giving off the impression that you were interrogating him.

For the first time since you’d met him, he looked slightly startled at your sudden statement. His responses were normally quick and witty but he didn’t say anything for a few seconds, watching you with a small hint of bewilderment on his otherwise stiff face.

“No offense but.. I didn’t know you even had friends.” You felt bad for making him uncomfortable and you quickly tried to change the subject back to his invite, thankful to see the tension leave his shoulders as he scoffed at your words.

“None taken. You wouldn’t know them anyways.” He was shrugging and you frowned, priding yourself on being social and friendly with people all over the school. “Different social circles.”

“Try me.” You were blurting out, determined to prove him wrong and show that you didn’t discriminate about who you were friendly to. He gave you a knowing look but you weren’t deterred, a smug expression on your face as you waited for him to name names.

He waited for a few seconds before sighing and sitting up in his seat a bit. “Lee Heeseung?”

Your shoulders dropped at the unfamiliar name, never having even heard it in passing and his smirk widened. He didn’t name anybody else and you were glad considering your ego was already bruised from the first one. He repeated the fact that you ran in different circles and you watched him curiously as he shifted again, checking his phone suddenly that you hadn’t noticed was abandoned on the table.

“Fuck.” He was mumbling under his breath and shoving the device into his pocket, pushing out of his sweet casually and giving you a quick look. “I’ve gotta go, let’s reschedule.”

“But we didn’t even-“ You were pausing in your objection when he was already turning and disappearing out of the library, your hands raising in bewilderment at his sudden departure before you’d even slightly started to work on anything. You let out a sigh and flopped back in your seat.

You sat there for a few moments on self pity before you heard faint whispers and grunts coming behind you and you groaned softly at the reminder you had an audience. Turning your head slightly to let them know you knew they were there.

“Get out here idiots.”

——

Park Sunghoon hadn’t responded to any of your text messages for the rest of the school week and you were absolutely fuming, not even able to control your expression as you walked between classes.

Students were sending you concerned glances as you marched through the campus, a deep frown underneath your tensed eyebrows, a direct opposite to what your normal expression was. He hadn’t shown up to any classes either so you couldn’t yell at him and release your pent up anger even if you wanted to.

“Jesus Y/N.” Riki was calling from somewhere to the side of you and he quickly matched your stride as he joined you, his long legs easily following along to your fast stomps. “You look like you’re about to kill somebody.”

“Trust me, I would be killing somebody if that certain somebody would come out of hiding.” You were spitting out and turning a corner sharply, having finished classes for the day and deciding to head back to your dorm instead of going to the library.

“I know you said no, but why don’t we just go to that party he mentioned then.” Riki was sighing softly and you could feel him looking at you in worry, more serious than he normally was considering how distressed you’d been as you took on two work loads. “He’s bound to be there right? I just wish it wasn’t Heeseung’s party..”

He was trailing off and you paused in your tracks, his arm bumping into yours at your abrupt stop and he turned back to raise an eyebrow at you in confusion.

“You know Lee Heeseung?” You were rushing out, shifting your books to your other arm so you could raise a hand and poke his chest accusingly.

“I know everybody dude.” He gave you a look like he thought you were stupid for missing the obvious and honestly you kind of were, for some reason only now remembering your best friend was the biggest social butterfly in your school.

You knew everybody, but Riki actively engaged with people and was a casual member of multiple friend groups, especially when it came to filling his weekends with various parties and activities.

“He’s trouble though Y/N, and I mean it.” He was shaking his head with a disapproving look on his face and you furrowed your eyebrows at him. You’d never experienced somebody that your friend didn’t like, the expression on his face causing a weird pit in your stomach to form. “That whole group is, I can’t believe Park is friends with people like that.”

The two of you continued to walk after agreeing to discuss it with Jungwon before making any decisions.

You felt extremely thrown off by what Riki had told you, knowing Park Sunghoon definitely had a reputation and an astoundingly stern attitude problem but you couldn’t imagine him hanging out with a crowd as rough as Riki was warning you he did. He seemed to be full more of teasing comments and selfishness than he was actual problematic behavior but the other part of you was confused why you felt the instinct to defend him.

You sighed softly and shifted your books around in your arms, pushing it deep into your mind for now.

——

“I’m telling you, I really have a terrible feeling about this guys.” Jungwon was leaning down to whisper into your ear as you stood in the small line outside the house the party was in, loud music already pouring out and deafening your surroundings despite the fact you were barely on the front lawn.

You glanced over at Riki to see him carrying a similar worried expression, unusually tense as he glanced around at the area you were in.

The energy was vastly different than the last party you’d went to, the same going for the attendees. Most seemed like they were a lot older than you and your friends, carrying a strange look in their eyes and regarding each other with tensed conversations that bordered on arguments.

Your sick feeling from earlier had returned full forced and you tugged on the sleeves of your sweater anxiously, regretting that you had followed Sunghoon’s lead of a casual outfit like he wore last time. Most the women at this party were anything but casual, wearing very little clothing and carrying themselves with a maturity you couldn’t even fake.

“We can be in and out, I promise.” You were tugging them down more to your level to whisper, a heavy guilty settling in at the fact you’d even brought them along. “I’ll find him and tell him to get his stuff together, then we can go home and watch Spider-Man.”

Your friends gave you soft encouraging smiles but their shoulders didn’t lose any tension and neither did yours, only growing more nervous when you were finally passing through the doorway. The three of you moved in unison over to the kitchen area and you turned to them once you reached somewhere that felt somewhat neutral.

It was small enough that nobody was actually hanging out in there, simply giving you strange looks as they passed by to refill their cups.

“You guys stay here and I’ll go and find him.” You were sternly telling them and Jungwon’s face curled up in disapproval.

“Are you kidding me? No way we are letting you walk around out there by yourself.” He was shaking his head and you deflated slightly, knowing the sight of you and your friends approaching to scold him would do nothing but drive Sunghoon further away from you and your overload of assignments.

“If I’m not back in 20 minutes, come and find me.” You were telling them as a form of compromising, raising a hand with your pinky stuck out.

Jungwon was sighing but eventually complying with your ask, raising his and linking your fingers together in a promise. You glanced at Riki and he gave you a small nod of acceptance, still carrying that dark expression that you weren’t used to seeing.

You were readying yourself before pushing back out into the main are, taking a deep breath and adjusting your skirt before heading back out through the door and scanning the general area.

It only took a few seconds before somebody was bumping into you from behind, sending you into somebody else and this continued for a few encounters before you were catching your footing and getting the memo that standing around like a lost deer wasn’t the right move.

You tried to look casual as you moved through the crowd but you knew your attire and demeanor gave you away upon first glance, possibly even passing for a confused highschooler in the eyes of the weathered people you were stuck in the sweaty room with. You were once again second guessing what you knew about Park Sunghoon, doubt running through your mind that he would take your demand as smoothly as he did your previous outburst towards him.

Luckily you were spotting him quicker than you thought you would, just starting to lose hope that you’d find him at all before you caught sight of his familiar bleached hair and leather jacket.

That familiar anger from earlier was building back up and you pulled your face into a determined expression, not letting him and his mysterious social life scare you off. You marched over to him and aggressively poked him in the back, faltering slightly when he whipped around with a heavy glare.

His face fell when he registered it was you and you figured it was just because he’d been expecting a friend or he was preparing for your lecture, not realizing that he had been mid conversation with a few guys who were smoking behind his back on the couch.

“How dare you Park Sunghoon.” You were starting off strong in your rambles, only slightly thrown off that his eyes were widening and his face was showing the biggest display of emotion you’d seen since you’d met him. You couldn’t quite read what he was feeling however so you decided to continue. “Do you have any idea how exhausted I’ve been this week? Not to mention looking for you absolutely everywhere like a crazy person, just for you to never even bother to show up.”

“Also.. your phone, I’ve been..” You were slowly trailing off, both because his lack of response and the fact somebody was now standing off the couch and approaching the two of you from behind Sunghoon. “I’ve been calling and you..”

“You must be the scholar.” The boy was cutting you off with a strange grin, wrapping an arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder and pulling him in a bit tighter to his chest.

You watched Sunghoon wince slightly and give you a sharp warning look, silently trying to communicate that you had made a mistake. You didn’t need for him to tell you that considering you could immediately feel the energy of the room shift at his arrival, the grin slowly sliding off his sharp face the longer you stared.

“You don’t know how to introduce yourself?” He was saying, a played up disappointment in his voice and he kissed his teeth before turning to look at the side of Sunghoon’s face. “Thought you said your girl had manners Hoonie.”

Your face flushed at the mocking question directed towards you and then more so at the phrase he’d used to Sunghoon. You’d obviously been talked about before considering the nickname he had called you and the implication that Sunghoon spoke on your behavior.

“Well I’m Heeseung.” He was smiling at you, a toothy grin that was immediately dropping back into that lazy smirk. It was similar to the one the boy next to him often wore but it felt a lot meaner, his eyes sharp as they stared down at you analytically. “And you’re Y/N… did you dress yourself Y/N?”

Your cheeks felt red and hot as you instinctively glanced down at your outfit, tugging your sleeves over your hands anxiously and parting your mouth to try and say something. You felt embarrassed at the fact he was clearly making fun of you, something you’d experienced before due to your bubbly personality but never so sincere and nasty.

It got even worse when you realized your eyes were starting to water, not meaning to cry but the overwhelming humiliation activating your fight or flight. You glanced at Sunghoon and he was watching you with a heavy look that you didn’t understand.

“Is she mute? You didn’t mention she was mute Hoonie.” Heeseung was squeezing his shoulders again and Sunghoon was finally moving a bit, shoving his arm back so the other boy wasn’t holding onto him anymore. He glared at him but still didn’t say anything, certainly not coming to your defense. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing sweetheart, it’s actually kind of sexy. The whole pathetic virgin look you have going on.”

He laughed softly as he spoke but you knew he wasn’t attempting to make a joke, his eyes scanning up and down your frame with an expression you’d never seen somebody have before. You couldn’t tell if he was actually considering you lustfully or if it was pure disgust in his eyes.

“Leave her be man.” Sunghoon was finally speaking now, a soft sigh accompanying his words and he nudged his friends arm softly.

“Sunghoon said you’ve been on his ass for days.” Heeseung was completely ignoring him and continuing, not even sparing the other boy a glance and keeping his stare firmly locked on your frame. “Hitting him up constantly like some clingy bitch of a girlfriend.”

You shot him a hurt stare but he was avoiding looking at you now, his eyes on his shoes or past your head as his friend continued to berate you. You looked back at the unfamiliar boy and shook your head softly, feeling some of your hair loosen from your pins and a tear finally break loss and stream down your cheek.

You hurriedly wiped it with your sleeve and Sunghoon’s head shot back up at the movement, face crumbling for a second before hardening back up when Heeseung glanced at him to see his reaction to your tears.

Something was bumping into you from behind and you were starting to turn and apologize, planning to use the distraction as a way to disappear from the terrible interaction when you realized who it was pressing against you.

Heeseung was immediately smiling again at the sudden arrival of your friends but Sunghoon tensed more, like he knew their presence would upset his friend even further and escalate the situation. Heeseung didn’t look at all deterred by the fact Riki was a lot taller than him, or the deep glare that Jungwon was sending him from your side where he was grabbing your arm softly.

“It’s been 20 minutes.” Your youngest friends voice was resounding from behind you, his tone lower than normal and you could feel his chest rumble against your back. “We have to go.”

You nodded your head even though you weren’t facing him and your hand instinctively came up to wipe your face off again. Jungwon was stood rod stiff next to you and radiating an anger you’d never experienced from the gentle and mature boy.

You considered saying something to Sunghoon, even as small as letting him know he was off the hook and didn’t need to help you with any assignments. One look at him told you that would be a mistake, understanding now what his harsh expression when he saw you had meant.

Heeseung was still making comments as the three of you turned to leave, whining about how the fun had only just started and other things that you tuned out as you let out a small sob and let your friends guide you through the crowd.

You felt embarrassed to be so upset over a few mean comments but you couldn’t shake the feeling of disgust that washed over you at his words and nasty stare, wiping your tears again and feeling the way one of your friends hands tensed against your arms at the movement. You felt guilty for dragging them out of their dorms for no reason, not even succeeding in getting your partner to cooperate.

“Y/N.” You could hear your voice being called as the three of you pushed out into the lawn but you ignored it when you realized who it was. “Please, just wait a damn second.”

You stopped abruptly because your friends did, Riki immediately turning around and approaching the boy in an agitated manner. You watched him press his chest close to Sunghoon’s in a challenge and you silently pleaded that he would be smart enough to not start a fight where you knew nobody and Sunghoon apparently had social ties.

Sunghoon paid the younger boy no mind, quickly giving him a unbothered glance before looking over his shoulder towards where you were standing and holding onto Jungwon.

“Two minutes.” He was requesting and his eyebrows were pulled forward in a serious expression, waiting for your answer. “Please.”

The rare use of the word from him made you feel hesitant to say no and you sighed before approaching them slowly, softly touching Riki’s arm and whispering for him and Jungwon to go down the street a bit and call for an Uber home.

You watched them as they walked away, both sending you concerned looks over their shoulders as they got further up the street and you tried your best to give them a reassuring smile. When they were far enough that they wouldn’t be able to hear your conversation, you turned back to Sunghoon and sniffled softly although you’d almost stopped crying by now.

“Let’s just get this over with then.” You were hurrying out, shaking your head and avoiding looking at him.

You imagined you looked like a complete mess, contradicting your typical put together demeanor. You’d taken your hair pins out and you could feel it getting messier as you kept running your hands over it, face red and puffy from being upset.

“I know I’m annoying and pushy, and I probably texted you too much but I was just freaking out with how much work we had to do and I didn’t know how to get ahold of you.” You were rambling off and pulling at your sweater uncomfortably, still not looking at him even though you could see he was taking a step forward.

“You shouldn’t have come here.” His voice was saying and your head shot up to glare at him in confusion, not caring that his expression was still pretty soft and not angry.

“Need I remind you that you invited me, asshole.” You spat at him, raising an accusatory finger but you didn’t poke his chest like you normally did.

“I shouldn’t have, it was stupid of me.” He was shaking his head and sighing, looking past you for a second before his eyes were shooting back. He never seemed to have an issue with staring (or glaring) at you but something about your puffy eyes and furrowed eyebrows was making it hard for his gaze to stay locked on your face. “My phone… it just wasn’t on and I didn’t think you’d come since I didn’t answer.”

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds, not really understanding why he was explaining himself to you considering he clearly wanted nothing to do with you and he’d never cared about your opinion on anything before.

He was just watching you with that same weird expression he had inside, almost compassionate but still guarded and heavy with something you couldn’t name and frankly, didn’t want to. You’d decided it was best just to leave this situation alone, Heeseung’s mean words still ringing in your mind louder and louder every time you looked at Sunghoon’s face.

“You don’t need to tell me this. It’s not like we’re friends or anything.” You were telling him and you stared at your shoes so you didn’t need to see his reaction to your words.

He didn’t say anything for a few beats and your eyes flitted back up swiftly to see why he had gone silent. His jaw was clenched now and he’d lost the expression that was making your stomach hurt, returning back to being hardened and emotionless.

“Yeah you’re right. We aren’t friends.” He was saying it with finality and your chest ached despite being the one to originally say it, his tone a lot more sincere than yours.

You expected him to just give up on the conversation and walk away but he was just standing there as he watched you, eyes darting around your disheveled hair and the way you were still continuously pulling at your sweater sleeves. You eventually couldn’t stand the tension anymore, along with the fear Heeseung would come looking for his friend sooner or later.

You took a deep breath before giving him a small sad smile, turning on your heel to go and find your friends.

——

“You should’ve just taken the day off Y/N.” Jungwon was whispering to you the next Monday, seated beside you in your shared class and sending you concerned glances every few seconds.

He’d been saying this since the incident at the party, telling you it would be best if you took a sick day before coming back to school. Especially to the classes in which you shared with Park Sunghoon.

You’d been ignoring his warnings, never missing a day before unless it was absolutely unavoidable and you didn’t plan to start because some boy had hurt your feelings a few days ago. You were wearing your usual attire and sitting up straight in your seat, smiling at everybody who entered and refreshing your perfume between lectures.

Besides, it wasn’t like you actually had any plans to run into the reasons for your upset. Heeseung didn’t actually attend your school, you’d quickly found out by pretending to be tutoring him and asking the administration office for his dorm number, and Sunghoon might as well not have considering he never seemed to actually show up anymore.

So you felt a bit thrown off, and regretful that you hadn’t taken your best friends advice, when you were walking into your next class alone and immediately being hit with the familiar sight of his bleached hair.

Not only had he come to class for the first time in nearly two weeks, but he was sat front and center in the seat beside your usual one. You’d faltered completely at the sight of him but before he could notice you in return, you were squaring your shoulders and forcing a bright grin onto your face.

You casually greeted the professor and a few of your peers, complimenting a girls new hair color and giving a small wave to somebody who had wished you good luck on an upcoming project. You weren’t looking at Sunghoon but there was no doubt he’d noticed you by now, the sound of your preppy voice undeniable.

It was nearly impossible to not look over at him once you sat down considering how close he was, his usual manspreading putting his knee far out into the isle so you had to squeeze past it to get to your own seat. You were sure he could feel the back of your legs brushing over his pants and you winced slightly before rushing through the rest of the tight aisle and hurriedly sitting down in your seat.

You cleared your throat and flattened down your hair, fixing your posture and preparing to make it through the duration of the class without needing to interact with the boy.

It was surprisingly easier than you’d expected, although you found yourself unable to focus half the time just from the knowledge that he was so close to you. Still, you didn’t sense the familiar feeling of him staring at the side of your head and he definitely didn’t try to speak to you. You felt bewildered on why he would even show up to class if it wasn’t to confront you or discuss your shared assignments, seemingly just listening to the professor as he rambled on.

Your confusion didn’t stop you from rushing out of the classroom in a hurry the second it was dismissed, breezing past classmates and not giving Sunghoon the opportunity to say anything to you.

——

“How could you possibly forget your phone?” Your youngest friends voice was hitting your ears, albeit muffled considering you were in the familiar position of burying your face into your carpet and letting out low painful groans.

“She was too busy running away from the campus asshole.” Jungwon was explaining, having quickly pieced together what had happened the second you’d crashed through the door in a panic.

Your two friends had already made themselves comfortable in your dorm before you’d gotten there, citing it was more peaceful than their own because you didn’t have a roommate like most students did. You didn’t pay them any mind before sinking to the floor like you’d lost all your bones and telling them what had happened in a series of short carpet spoken phrases.

“So? Just sneak in and grab it before they lock the main doors.” Riki was suggesting it like it was obvious and your head shot up off the floor, giving him a pleading look that he immediately deciphered. “Sorry Y/N, but no way. I’d get in trouble if I got caught, unlike a certain teacher’s favorite.”

“He’s right you know. Nobody would even think twice about you staying at the school late.” Jungwon was adding on from where he was sitting on top of your small bed and you sighed softly, knowing they both had a solid point.

Hence how you found yourself slowly slipping in behind a security guard through the doors to the school, hours after the last students had trickled out for the day and been forced to reside to their dorms or the 24 hour library if they wanted to continue studying. It was slightly eerie to see the area so empty, practicing your scripted explanation in case you were stopped by a less forgiving teacher or the campus security.

You felt a wave of anxiety as you moved through the halls, suddenly realizing the classroom might not be unlocked and if it was that would mean the professor could be right around the corner, waiting to interrogate you about how you’d gotten in.

Attempting to swallow your nerves, you continued towards the room you’d ran out off previously in the day. Park Sunghoon had created another problem in your life and you wished you could find it in yourself to be mad at him, still thrown off by his strange lack of bothering you he’d shown earlier. It was easy to convince yourself that you were just curious about him, nosy by nature and even more so considering how mysterious he tended to be.

You were slipping into the classroom swiftly, not touching the door in case somebody heard its hinges or noticed it had been opened wider. You let out a breath of relief that it had been left open and that the professor was seemingly not there, no sign of his briefcase or paperwork laid out on the desk.

The breath only lasted a few seconds, immediately being ripped out of you when you were suddenly being tugged aggressively backwards and almost losing your balance. You let out a small shriek of panic and surprise but a large hand was quickly placed over your mouth, stopping you from making another sound.

You couldn’t tell who it was that had grabbed you, especially considering they had pulled you into the small supply closet in the back of the classroom and the string light was turned off.

“What are you-“ You had smacked the hand off your face and were just starting to exclaim when a hissed shush was thrown back towards you. You immediately froze when you realized who it was, used to the familiar and aggressive tone.

Park Sunghoon was reaching up to tug on the lights string for a second and turn it on, showing you who he was with a raised eyebrow before switching it off again and shushing you once more. You felt a surge of anger at the fact he had pulled you in here, furthered by the fact that he seemed to think showing you it was him would calm your panic down.

Even more anger resurfaced considering that it actually slightly worked, relieved it wasn’t a complete stranger despite your intense confusion on what exactly he was doing.

“Park?” You tensed up when you heard the professors voice from outside the closet, quickly understanding that they must’ve been having some sort of meeting before you’d walked in and nearly gotten caught.

Sunghoon noticed your stiffening body, considering you were completely pushed up against each other due to how small the closet was. You could feel him looking down at you and you glanced up quickly, barely able to make out his features in the dark but just enough that you could see the warning in his eyes.

You gave him a small nod and his shoulders lowered in relief, knowing you wouldn’t give the two of you up. You weren’t sure if you’d actually get in trouble or not but you didn’t want to risk it, even the idea of the smallest mark on your record making your stomach turn with anxiety.

“That damn kid.” The professor was cursing under his breath and you could hear the disappointment in his voice at the fact Sunghoon had presumably ditched the meeting while he had left the room, glancing back up at the boy to see a strange look on his face.

At first you assumed he had been in trouble and was being scolded but due to the tone of your teachers voice, you imagined now it was something different. Potentially the two of them finally working some things out regarding Sunghoon’s absences and missing assignments.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Sunghoon was leaning down to whisper in your ear and a shiver ran through you at how close he had gotten, flushing at your bodies natural reaction and hoping he didn’t notice.

“I.. I forgot something.” You were rocking forward onto your toes to be able to whisper it back to him and you furrowed your brows at the fact you were giving him an answer anyways, not sure why you felt you had to explain yourself to him.

He was standing back to his full height again to stare down at you and you watched him in confusion before feeling something hard pressing into your stomach. Your eyes shot downwards in a panic and you froze up when you realized he was holding your phone in his hand and attempting to pass it to you in the small space. Your eyes shot back up to his face in surprise before you were grabbing it and slipping it into your hoodies front pocket.

Another voice was suddenly appearing from outside the closet and you stiffened up enough to accidentally stumble in shock, nearly falling backwards and knocking into the various mops and brooms if it wasn’t for the hand reaching forward to steady itself around your waist. You froze at the feeling and glanced up to see Sunghoon staring up at the light and avoiding looking at you, eyes closed for a second in a wince.

He didn’t let go of you however, keeping his hand placed there firmly despite the fact you had regained your balance and didn’t plan on moving again anytime soon.

“Hope you don’t have anywhere to be anytime soon.” He was speaking again and you almost panicked at the fact he hadn’t leaned closer to be more discreet when you realized the conversation taking place outside was loud enough to be undetected if you spoke in a low whisper.

“Well luckily for me the pathetic virgin convention was moved to next week so.” You weren’t sure why you had brought it up, directly referencing what Heeseung had called you and the incident at the party, but you immediately regretted it considering the way his face tensed at the words.

You assumed he was upset with you for starting a petty argument when neither one of you could move or even really voice your actual thoughts upon a certain decibel, growing more nervous when he just sighed and didn’t say anything for a few minutes.

“I don’t know why he said that.” He was suddenly saying and you froze a bit at the fact he hadn’t gotten upset with you, instead sounding almost guilty.

“It’s not your fault I guess.” You shrugged awkwardly and looked at his chest so you didn’t have to see his face, reaching up to push some of your hair behind your ear that was falling forward. “You didn’t know he’d repeat the stuff you said.”

“I didn’t say anything like that.” He was saying quickly, his tone almost offended that you had assumed he did.

“You didn’t?” Your voice was laced in surprise and you looked back up at him with wide eyes, his eyebrows furrowed and his gaze darted around your face at the sight of you staring up towards him through your eyelashes.

“No, of course not.” He was shaking his head and his lip was slightly downturned but you didn’t find it as obvious as he seemed to think it was, never directly being cruel towards you necessarily but also never providing any evidence towards the fact he wouldn’t insult you behind your back. “I like… your sweaters.”

He awkwardly trailed off at the end, pausing between the words like he hadn’t mean to start saying them and he looked back up at the light like he was avoiding the way your eyes widened. You felt your cheeks flush at his attempt to compliment you, his hand against your side tensing like he’d forgotten it was even there and he was instinctively using your soft skin as a stress ball.

“Really? You do?” You were whispering before you even realized it, your curiosity getting the best of you but he tensed again and you understood you probably pushed it too far by asking him to reiterate what he’d said.

The door to the classroom was opening and closing outside the closet and for a second you thought both teachers had left considering the sudden silence but you heard somebody clear their throat and realized the conversation had just ended and you still weren’t able to leave yet.

Sunghoon was suddenly leaning back down towards you and you felt panicked until you remembered you had to go back to speaking into each others ears, much to your dismay.

“Yeah, I do.” He was saying softly and you felt confused for a second before recalling the question you’d asked him, another small shiver running through you at his low tone and confirmation that he was complimenting you. If he didn’t notice before, he definitely did not considering he was still holding onto your side and his hand clenched around you.

The air was suddenly heavy and suffocating, a weird tension settling over both of you at the fact you were pressed so close and he was touching you so intimately like it was a natural thing that happened before, like you hadn’t barely talked outside of petty arguments and your conflict a few days prior.

Nonetheless, you had to communicate somehow and your hands were going up to hold onto his shoulders, both for the sake of pulling him down towards you and being able to prop yourself up with less risk of tilting backwards. Once you were closer to his ear, you were leaning forward and you could feel his heart beating from where you pressed against his chest.

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” You were mumbling hesitantly and he tensed up slightly when your lip accidentally touched his ear, immediately dropping back down to your original height and feeling your face heat up at the contact.

He was looking down at you and you held his stare, a small pout on your face that you didn’t even realize you had. You were thinking back to the party and how silent he had been while you were being insulted, despite not being friends and knowing he didn’t owe you any defense or protection, you still felt weird about the way he had just watched it unfold.

He was sighing and shaking his head, leaning back down towards you and his hand flexed again, pulling you tighter against him as a result of the movement. “It would’ve made it worse if I did.”

You were confused by what he meant but you didn’t want to look up and see his expression again, a lot closer now that he had subconsciously pulled you into him. He was still leaning down towards you and you wondered if he planned to say something else or if he was just sick of constantly bending back down.

Your hands were still around his shoulders, tightening around his neck in a weirdly familiar way to keep yourself from titling considering how close your feet were together in the small

space. You tried to think of a way to respond that would give you some answers without prying too much and accidentally upsetting him again.

“Why do you hang out with him?” You were whispering back into his ear and trying to ignore the fact that you were basically hugging as you spoke to each other.

“He’s family.” He was hesitantly answering after a few beats and you were surprised he had even offered the personal information at all, also understanding why that connection would make the situation more difficult and harder to remove himself from.

You let go of his shoulders but kept your hands on his chest in case you feel forward, not even realizing that his other hand has also come down to hold your side and you had no real reason to be touching him, complete secure in his grasp without the added support. You were able to see his face again now and he watched you with a curious expression, seemingly unfazed by the close contact unlike you and your still red cheeks.

“Did you really say I’d been on your ass? That I was like a clingy girlfriend?” You were a bit embarrassed by the saddened tone to your voice but you were genuinely curious and hurt by the fact Heeseung said he’d been told that, not having any way of knowing about your excessive text if Sunghoon hadn’t told him.

“He saw my phone.” He was sighing and starting to explain but he looked extremely awkward, more so than you’d ever seen him and he was ducking his head closer to yours to remain quiet now that you weren’t whispering in his ear anymore. “I couldn’t let him know we were friends or else he would’ve messed with you… more than he already did.”

You didn’t say anything for a while, just watching him and overwhelmingly aware of how close his face was to yours and how if you were the same height, your noses would’ve been touching. You would’ve thought he either didn’t notice or didn’t care, if it wasn’t for the way his eyes were darting around your face and occasionally pausing on your parted mouth.

“So we were friends?” Was all you managed to squeak out, holding your breath and staring up at him as your lips curled into a small smile.

He was standing blank for a second before a sudden scoff came out of his mouth, an eyebrow cocking at your amusement and you felt slightly relieved at the familiar expression back on his face now. You’d weirdly missed the cocky look in his eye, much preferring it over the hard and vacant one he’d been giving you since you’d fought.

“Maybe we could be if you weren’t always so nervous around me.” He was mumbling back in a teasing tone and your stomach flipped at the slightly flirty hint under his words, never crossing into that territory with him before despite the strange tension always sitting in the back of your mind.

Your breath was hitching at the way he tugged you closer again, his right hand sliding a bit so it was against your lower back instead of at your side and he could keep you flush against him. You watched him with big eyes, confused and slightly anxious at the sudden switch in his demeanor. You felt slightly guilty for immediately wondering if he was just messing with you, preparing to push you away and laugh the second you responded to his passes.

His eyes were suddenly more hesitant looking however, like he was wondering if he had made a mistake due to your lack of response and you realized he was just as nervous as you were, just more skilled at hiding his emotions.

“I don’t make you nervous?” You were whispering to him and he immediately shook his head, staring down at you intensely. Your hand flattened where it was on his chest and you hoped he didn’t see how bad it was shaking. “Not even a little bit?”

You thought, for a moment, that you heard his breath catch in his throat but you quickly discarded that idea. Sunghoon had never shown interest in you before outside of this moment and you figured he was just not thinking clearly due to your proximity and the adrenaline from possibly being caught, still a man in a tight space with a girl regardless if you were meant to be enemies or not.

However, you couldn’t help but think of the fact he’d both managed to compliment you and also seemed to pay a lot more attention to your life and schedule than you’d seen him apply towards other people. He knew who you were before you introduced yourself to him, aware of your closest friends and the fact you didn’t go to parties much.

You thought of the fact he had shown up at the library just off the passing comment Jake had made about seeing you the next day, inviting you to a party with your friends. It had turned out terrible but he’d still invited you, opening the doorway to potentially see each other outside of school and converse in a more neutral setting.

His face was dangerously close to yours as he took in your question, silently urging him to admit that he felt similarly to you when it came to the confusing nerves and anticipation you felt every time he was around. You always felt there was something unsaid between the two of you, pushed aside when you started to bicker or one of you had to leave early.

“Your hearts racing.” He ignored what you had said and you frowned softly, glancing down to where your bodies connected. He somehow seemed even closer once you were looking up again and your eyes widened a bit, wondering if he was intentionally leaning down more or if his body was just instinctively being drawn in.

“I’m scared to get caught.” You quickly answered, lying through your teeth but you knew he knew that. His mouth was curling into a smirk and he squeezed your back again, hips flushed together. “I’m serious.”

“I like when you wear this skirt.” He was retorting randomly and your stomach flipped at the rasp in his voice from whispering, not expecting him to keep changing the topic especially when he changed it to compliment you. You didn’t even realize this was something you apparently wore often, just throwing it on with your hoodie before heading back to the school and not thinking twice about it.

“Do you always pay such close attention to me?” You were asking him back, a hint of confidence at the fact he was continuously proving his interest in what you did. You’d asked him something similar before and you recalled the way he had frozen in the library, not answering you and getting tense at the way you’d called him out.

He didn’t react as extremely now, his face keeping that small smirk as he looked down at you like he had expected you to question his behavior. You were confused by his silence until you realized one of his hands had left your body, only noticing when you felt his fingers playing with the bottom of your skirt. He wasn’t lifting it or moving it at all, just gently guiding his hand alongside the seam and watching you.

Your eyes were wide as you looked at him, feeling strangely vulnerable and nervous as he started to toe a line that you didn’t expect him to even consider crossing. The light flirting was already strange of him but now you could feel his rough knuckles accidentally connecting with the smooth skin of your bare thigh.

“You want me to stop?” He was pausing to whisper once he noticed your panicked expression, eyebrow raising as he studied your face for any sign of rejection or hesitance.

You thought about it carefully for a few seconds, wondering if you were still upset with him enough to tell him to knock it off and then be left to awkwardly stand here until the professor left and you could sneak out. He’d infuriated you since you’d met but you also never denied finding him attractive, especially when he was barely inches from your face and throwing you casual compliments like it was something he’d done before.

When you were softly shaking your head, signaling you didn’t want him to quit whatever he was planning to do, he still waited a few seconds before he was moving his hand again.

You gasped softly at the fact he’d moved it off the hem of your skirt, instead going underneath it and pushing it up more so it was settled in the middle of your stomach and he could grab your side again without having the fabric in the way. You were suddenly glad it was dark because you knew that it was raised enough that it would leave your bottom half completely exposed, the skirt already barely coming up mid thigh and definitely now revealing your underwear that it was pushed so high up on your body.

He paused at the noise you had made, looking like he was thinking for a few seconds before he was using his other hand to cover your mouth and give you that same warning look that commanded you to keep quiet.

You nodded against his firm grip but another squeak came out of you when he was squeezing your side, his hand so big that it covered your entire hip and one of his fingers was caressing dangerously over the elastic of your underwear. He pulled your lower half closer to his again with a small grunt and you watched his expression through your eyelashes as he touched you so carelessly.

His eyes were meeting yours when his hand dipped under the strap on your hip, waiting for you to give a small nod of permission before he was slowly pulling your panties down your body and shifting again so you could rest on top of his sturdy leg.

You made a small cry at the contact, practically sitting on his thigh now completely bare and you could feel his hand continuously stroking up and down the outside of your leg, almost transfixed by the feeling of how smooth your skin was. Your arms were coming back up to hold onto his shoulders so you didn’t have to completely press yourself onto his pants and you suddenly felt embarrassed by how exposed you were.

He looked slightly frustrated for a second and you realized it was because he only had one hand available, still covering your mouth with the other one. You reached up to grab his wrist and remove it, bringing it down to place it against your waist and flushing at the slightly surprised look he was giving you at the bold action.

“If I get loud; kiss me.” You were whispering into his ear suddenly and you could feel him tense at the idea, not sure if he was interested in the thought of it or against doing something so intimate. Either way, he didn’t object verbally and just used his two hands to slowly lower you back down onto his clothed leg.

“Anyone ever touched you before?” He was asking suddenly, glancing at your face with a hard expression and waiting for you to respond. One of his hands was caressing your thigh now, getting closer to your core every time he rubbed it and another shutter ran through you at his low tone and the implication that he was planning on touching you.

“Not there.” You were whispering back and shaking your head, squeezing his shoulder in anticipation and feeling a bit dizzy from the sudden rush of want you felt towards him.

“Tell me where.” His face was still hard as he watched you and for a second you thought he sounded a little jealous at the fact somebody had touched you before, his hand squeezing your side almost painfully and pulling you higher up on his leg.

“Just… just when kissing. H-he was… like.” Your face was completely flushed as you tried to explain to him what little experience you had, only ever having an eager high school boy carelessly grope your chest during a terrible make out session.

He seemed to assume what you were implying and you felt his hand leave your leg for a moment, sliding up under your hoodie and rubbing up your rib cage softly. You sucked in a tight breath and held eye contact with him as his hand reached your chest, tensing his grip slightly and his rough thumb ran over your nipple swiftly like he was testing your reaction.

You bucked forward a bit at the feeling, grateful you hadn’t worn anything under your hoodie but overwhelmed at the feeling of him softly kneading your chest and the fact he was staring down at you emotionless as you slowly got more and more overwhelmed.

“Did it feel good?” He was asking in a low rasp and you almost nodded, thinking he was referring to what he had just done but you paused when you realized he was talking about the other boy. “When he was touching you like this, did you like it?”

You were quickly shaking your head in denial, cringing at the memory of rough hands that didn’t actually care about you or your pleasure. Despite his tough demeanor and personality, Sunghoon’s touch was gentle although unrelenting in the way he continued to squeeze your soft skin.

“Feel good now?” He was muttering and you nodded softly, falling forward slightly against his chest at the feeling and your breath caught again at the way you accidentally pressed harder onto his leg. You were sure you were making a mess on his pants, dripping ever since he started to squeeze your sides and whisper into your ear and you felt embarrassed at the fact he’d surely see it later once you were out of the dark. “Say it.”

“Feels good.” You were quickly repeating, instinctively following his order when you heard how serious his voice was and you imagined he would’ve teased you for listening to him so obediently if you weren’t having to make as little noise as possible.

Speaking of noise, it was becoming an issue for you pretty quickly, especially as his hands went back under your skirt to help you shift your hips against his leg. Between the feeling of him underneath you and his big hands holding your hips tightly. He seemed to take notice of your struggle and he paused to watch you for a second, looking like he was conflicted.

You were about to ask him what was wrong, worried by the sudden apprehension on his face before he was abruptly leaning his head down to kiss you.

You froze in surprise for a second before quickly kissing him back, suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that you really wanted to kiss him. You’d tried not to think about it before, pushing it deep in your mind but he seemed just as desperate in the way his hands were moving again and cupping your face gently.

You both seemed to forget about the fact you were currently sat on his thigh, lost in the kiss and moving against each other at a fast and intense pace. The tension that was in the air felt like it had burst, completely mesmerized by the feeling of kissing him so deeply and you felt less worried about how intimate it felt considering he was keeping your face tight against his.

He leaned back a bit to catch his breath, staring down at you with a strange look in his eyes and you yelped slightly when he was suddenly moving his leg so it was back on the ground. You weren’t pressed against him anymore and you were confused when he suddenly fixed your skirt to cover you up again, thinking he had changed his mind and was stopping.

To your surprise, he was standing back up after helping you get dressed and he stared at you for a few seconds with a wild expression before he was eagerly pulling you back into a kiss. His hands were cupping under your thighs to pull you up higher and you made a small noise into his mouth with how desperately he was kissing you, almost bordering on romantic if you didn’t know any better.

But you did know better so you were slightly confused and thrown off by the way he was licking into your mouth like it was something he craved, holding you against him like he was scared you’d disappear if he didn’t keep a tight enough grip.

You were thinking of pulling back and asking him when you heard the sound of the classroom door slamming shut, both of you jumping in place and freezing. You’d almost completely forgotten you were even in your current situation, so focused on Sunghoon and his touch.

You were glancing back at him to see his reaction but his face was hard again and his hand was coming up to touch his swollen lips for a second before he was shaking his head, almost to himself, and pushing the door open. You were worried for a second that the teacher might still be there but you quickly realized the room was empty when Sunghoon continued to step further into it, offering you a glance back over his shoulder when you didn’t follow.

Still in a daze in the closet, you watched him in confusion. You didn’t understand the switch in his demeanor, his shoulders tense and his eyebrows furrowed as he glared at you like you were somehow the one being confusing.

Eventually, you stumbled out of the closet and attempted to smooth out your hair that he had completely messed up with his touchy hands and eager movements. He was just watching you and you saw him touch his lips again, your own turning down into a frown at the upset look on his face.

You figured you had been right and he didn’t want to kiss you, only doing it to keep you quiet and now regretting it. This confused you considering how into it he had seemed to be, more passionate and desperate than you ever thought he could get and the heavy look on his face when he pulled back to look at you, but you weren’t sure why else he would be so upset now.

“Sunghoon.” You started to say and he tensed at the sound of his name at your regular volume, not used to you calling him anything other than his last name. He was raising a hand to cut you off and you paused.

“Think of that as my apology.” He was saying in a stern and emotionless tone, not looking at you anymore as he spoke.

You felt your stomach turn in a different way this time, heart aching for some reason at the fact he had completely dismissed what had just happened and was implying he’d only done it as a way to say sorry to you. You stood there and stared at him in disbelief, not bothering to mask your expression or how much he had just hurt your feelings.

“Why would you say that?” You forced out, voice weak and you felt embarrassed at how obviously affected you were. He glanced at you at the sound of your voice but then immediately was clenching his jaw and looking at the floor.

He was shaking his head for a second before turning to leave out the door, leaving you standing there alone and trying to bring yourself back to reality. You felt dizzy from the sudden switch of emotion from him and the crash back down from your shared high, feeling like you were very much in need of a hot shower.

——

“You did what?”

You were sat in Jungwon’s dorm, his roommate having went home for some family emergency and leaving it vacant other than your friend. You’d made your way over there as soon as you left the school, not bothering to call first or go to your own room.

He’d swung open the door at the sound of your heavy banging, face coated with worry when he saw it was you and you quickly blurted out what had happened. It wasn’t Jungwon’s voice that was exclaiming however and you sighed when you looked over his shoulder to see your other best friend sat on his bed, jaw dropped wide as he paused mid pizza bite.

You stared at the two of them for a second before bursting into tears, falling forward into Jungwon’s arms and hearing the soft sigh he let out as he pet your head softly.

He gently led you inside and closed the door behind you in case anybody was feeling nosy, sitting you on the bed beside Riki and pulling his desk chair up so he could be near the two of you. You laid your head on your youngest friends shoulder and sniffled softly with a large frown on your face, embarrassed and confused.

“You hooked up with Park Sunghoon?” Jungwon was saying it slowly, like he was making sure he heard you right and you nodded softly in confirmation. “In a broom closet..?”

“What does hooked up even mean?” Riki was asking from beside you and you groaned at the fact he was there, trusting him completely but you came to Jungwon for actual advice and you knew Riki wouldn’t take it serious enough to offer any. “Like you lost your virginity? Can you even do that in a closet?”

“I’m not giving you the details idiot.” You glared at him after picking your head up from his shoulder, shoving his arm and ignoring the complaining groan he let out. “But we kissed and then he got all weird and just ran out, he said it was just his way of apologizing.”

Both the boys went silent after that and Jungwon gave Riki a loaded stare, looking back at your face and then to the other boy again and cocking an eyebrow. Your frustration grew as you watched them silently communicate something you didn’t understand, throwing your hands up in upset until their attention was back on you.

“In words please.” You exclaimed loudly and Jungwon sighed softly before leaning forward so his elbows were on his knees.

“Is there any chance he could like you?” He was asking and you were thrown off by how serious he sounded, even more so considering what he was suggesting. Your face flushed and you quickly shook your head in denial, not understanding where he would be getting that from.

“If I kissed a girl that I liked, that I was supposed to hate because that’s like my whole thing, I’d probably run out of a closet too.” Riki was adding on from beside you like it was an obvious thing and common knowledge and you gave him a bewildered look. He shrugged softly and patted you on the back. “I’m just saying.”

“That’s ridiculous.” You were mumbling but their words made you have a weird feeling, thinking about how intensely Sunghoon had kissed you. He’d completely abandoned the idea of touching you just so he could focus on kissing you gently, far more intimate and romantic than you’d expected from him.

Still, it didn’t make any sense to you that he would have feelings towards you. He’d never been kind to you and you weren’t young immature kids, you didn’t consider teasing and making your day harder a form of flirting and you were sure Sunghoon thought similarly to you.

You left them alone to head back to your dorm after hanging in Jungwon’s for a few more hours, making them both pinky promise to not bring up Park Sunghoon or anything that had happened revolving him.

You were only halfway through the campus back to your room, the sun having set at some point during your hysterical rantings to your friends and you were relying on the street lights on either side of the sidewalk to guide you home, when your phone was ringing inside of your hoodie pocket. The vibration tingled against your stomach and you flushed for a second as you remembered the situation that had resulted from said phone before you were pulling it out.

The name on the screen made you stop in your slow pace, faltering to a stop before you were completely stood still and holding the device up to your ear.

“Hello?” Their was a sharp question in your voice, not expecting him to reach out at all let alone so soon after what had happened but there was nothing but static on the other side. “Sunghoon? Park? Are you there.. I don’t have time for this.”

“My cousins keeper… ever the busy woman.” The voice on the other side was slowly crackling through and your blood ran cold at the realization it wasn’t Sunghoon, the voice slightly less familiar but still recognizable to you considering your previous interaction had been replaying in your mind.

“Why do you have his phone?” You were spitting suddenly and your stomach turned with worry for some unknown reason.

You didn’t know if Heeseung was the type to actually hurt somebody, especially his own family member but you also didn’t necessarily have a lot of faith in him and his questionable morals.

He was sighing over the speaker and not speaking again for a few heavy breaths, seemingly weirdly reluctant to talk to you despite being the one to dial your number in the first place. At one point you were pulling the phone off your ear to look at it in confusion, almost thinking he had hung up with how silent it had gotten.

“I need somewhere to bring him for the night.” He was causing you to jump when he was suddenly talking again and your eyebrows furrowed despite him not being able to see you.

“What? What the hell are you talking about?” You were starting to speed walk back to your dorm now that you’d started to understand the situation, practically jogging through the buildings with your stomach twisting in panic and anxiety at the thought of Sunghoon being in so much trouble he couldn’t pick up the phone and call you himself.

The line was silent for a few seconds before you heard the sound of the call ending, pulling it off your ear again to glance at your screen quickly and letting out a screamed curse at the fact he had hung up.

You still didn’t slow down despite not understanding what was even happening, why you felt the overwhelming urge to return back to your dorm but as you rounded the final corner you understood what the strange feeling in your gut was. You faltered in your step when you saw the body slumped in front of your door, knowing who it was without having to get closer and confirm.

“Oh no, no no.” You repeated a soft mantra of upset as you darted over to Sunghoon, dropping to your knees once you were near him and your hands reached out to grab him before stopping.

You didn’t want to hurt him and he let out a small groan that indicated you would if you touched him, hands hovering over his body and looking around frankly in case his cousin was still lingering around somewhere.

You didn’t see any signs of anybody but you knew Sunghoon couldn’t have been laying there long and they could be just off in the distance, watching you to see what you would do with the boy laying on your welcome mat. Your frown was deep as you finally grabbed on to him, ignoring his mumbled complaints and attempts to swat you away.

It took you a long time to manage to drag him inside, almost contemplating calling your friends for help before realizing what a terrible idea dragging them into this would be.

Eventually, you had him inside on the floor and you hands came up to frantically run through your hair in panic. You weren’t sure what you were meant to do, scanning over his frame to try and determine if he was injured enough to go to the hospital but you couldn’t see the extent of the damage through his layers and you paused as you watched him.

“Park.” You were kneeling back down beside him on your floor and whispering softly, nudging his shoulder with your hand and letting out a sigh of relief when he made a small noise of complaint. “Okay good, at least you’re alive.”

“Are you disappointed?” He was suddenly forcing out and you jumped away from his body in shock, clutching your chest at the unexpected sound of his croaking voice.

His head turned slowly in your direction at the sound of your shocked scream and you took a few seconds to try and catch your breath before you were frowning and leaning forward to shove his arm softly. He let out a loud groan at the feeling of you scolding him but you ignored it and furrowed your eyebrows.

“You idiot, I thought you had a concussion or something.” You spat out at him and you thought you saw his lip curl up for a second in amusement.

“Don’t be so sure I don’t.” He retorted with a wince and you noted his slurred words, leaning in to try and see if you smell alcohol on him. “Trust me, if I was drunk it wouldn’t hurt this bad.”

“What the fuck happened to you Park?” You were mumbling, still leaning over him on your floor and scanning his face to make sure he wasn’t going to lose consciousness mid conversation. You’d definitely have to take him to the hospital if that was the case, still highly considering it judging by how out of it he sounded.

“Family stuff.” He was answering after a prolonged silence and your frown deepened at the confusing implications, reminding yourself to question him more thoroughly later on. “Did I worry you?”

“By showing up at my door like a corpse? Yeah slightly.” You scoffed as you answered him and his lips curled up more, border-lining on the first actual smile you’d seen from him.

“You weren’t home.” He said after a few beats and his voice suddenly went serious again, soft and almost whining at the fact you hadn’t been here when he first arrived. You figured he was only acting this way because he was out of it and not thinking clearly, his hand extending in your direction and twitching a few times being more proof behind that thought.

You stared at it before eventually giving in and taking it in yours gently, feeling the way he immediately squeezed them together in relief and your frown deepened as he looked at you again.

“You always look so sad around me.” He was continuing on and his eyes were going in all directions around your face, having trouble focusing on any specific part. His voice was weirdly saddened and your heart thumped uncomfortably at the fact he was lacking a filter currently. “Not anyone else, with them you’re smiling and laughing. Just around me.”

You didn’t answer him for a while, because you honestly weren’t sure how. You’d become accustomed to that sort of dynamic with him, assuming from the get go that he was no good and out to get you at all times. You hadn’t necessarily considered that your change of behavior with solely him would upset him at all, causing his lips to turn down in a frown.

You’d said before that you never found him particularly mean, just prone to causing unnecessary stress on you and disrupting your typically perfect schedule in a way that caused you to react before you thought.

“I’m not sad around you.” You were eventually saying softly and you found yourself meaning what you said, squeezing his hand and using your free one to push some of his hair out of his face. “You just confuse me.”

He looked like he wanted to say something but his mouth closed after a few seconds and he just gave a small nod, closing his eyes again. For a moment you thought he had fallen asleep before he was suddenly attempting to sit up, catching you by surprise.

You helped him maneuver his way over to your small dorm bed, taking off his shoes once he was laying down and trying not to think about how strange it was to see him in such a familiar space. Not to mention, the relaxed state he was in as he laid back against your pillows and breathed out a sigh of relief once he caught a hint of your scent.

It was hard not to laugh as you watched him, biting your lip to hold it in but occasionally offering him small chuckles when he kept glancing at you with a drunken look on his pretty face. It made your stomach turn to see the bruised adorning said face, his lip cracked and bleeding slightly and you could tell other areas were going to swell after a few more hours.

You wished he was conscious enough for you to ask him what had happened in more detail but you figured he wouldn’t answer you regardless.

His breathing slowly evened out after a few minutes of you trying to get him as comfortable as possible, bringing a cup of water and pain killers to your bedside for him to take as soon as he woke up. You watched him carefully after he finally dozed off and you considered laying on the floor for a moment before you sighed and climbed into bed beside him, figuring it was the least he could allow considering he had shown up on your doorstep so late after running out on you.

“Night Park.” You were mumbling it more to yourself, curling over on your side and trying to avoid touching him as much as possible, letting yourself drift off to sleep.

——

You woke up in a panic at the realization somebody was wrapped around you, completely forgetting your current situation.

You only calmed down when you heard him softly groan in protest, feeling his big hand that was currently thrown over your side, squeeze softly to try and remind you that it was just him in your bed.

Just Park Sunghoon in your bed… half asleep with his arm wrapped around your stomach only a few hours after you’d had an intense make out session in a broom closet. You laid back flat and held your breath as you considered getting out of bed to avoid his touch, stopping when you realized his breathing was quieter now and your abrupt wake up had also taken him out of his deep sleep.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, shifting uncomfortably at the feeling of his fingers flexing against your skin. Your shirt had ridden up in the night and he could feel your warm skin underneath his rough palm.

“It’s okay.” He was whispering back and you felt a bit dizzy at how close his voice was to you, his breath fanning across your neck. You waited for him to remove his hand now that he was more alert, but quickly realized he didn’t plan to when his thumb gently swiped over your hip bone. “I’m sorry too.”

You hadn’t expected to hear the words from him, not sure if he was talking about being dropped off here and interrupting your night or about what had happened in the classroom. You didn’t want to question him, hoping it applied to both and that he genuinely meant it.

He was taking a deep breath when you shifted carefully backwards, letting his chest hit your back and feeling your heart race when his hand was sliding forward to rest gently over your stomach. You were spooning now, far more intimate than you’d foreseen the two of you ever being but you wanted to somehow communicate your forgiveness to him without having to voice it.

“You remember anything?” You asked him carefully, not sure if it was too early to cross that line yet or if he was expecting it.

“Just you.” He whispered back and the words felt heavy, his chest vibrating against your back and your mouth downturned instinctively at the hidden meaning there.

You didn’t think it was completely morning yet, that weird time of the night where the room turned a soft shade of blue and you could hear the birds outside the small room starting to chirp and move around. You and Sunghoon laid in silence for a while but you could tell he hadn’t fallen back to sleep, his thumb still gently caressing your skin as he took deep painful breaths.

“Should we go to the hospital?” You were whispering after a while, voice soft against the silence and you hoped the inclusion of yourself in this scenario didn’t pass by him unnoticed.

“Not yet.” His voice was low and hoarse but it had more emotion than it normally did, sounding almost desperate, like he was asking your permission to stay here in this moment with you. “Let’s just stay here a little longer, just like this.”

His words were heavy again and you weren’t a stranger to the fact that you had a lot of talking to do, healing from the strange back and forth and multiple conversations that would definitely be somewhat uncomfortable. All this was weighing on you for a second after he said it, finding it more in your comfort zone to immediately tackle and issue and find a plausible solution.

You let this habit and anxiety fade away the best you could, understanding that there was time for that later and you didn’t need to pop the bubble you were currently in with him.

Right now, you could be nothing but two people laying together. You could turn off the words of your friends about his hidden feelings for you, set aside his injuries and your longing to understand what exactly had caused them. You didn’t need to be enemies or friends who didn’t communicate to each other properly, you didn’t need to be the person he left behind in the classroom and he didn’t need to wonder why you never looked carefree around him.

For now you could just lay here together and listen to the sound of his breathing, feel it brush against your neck almost in sync with his gentle touch.

For now you could just be.

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amortentia-over-ice · 1 month

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Cross The Line - Sebastian Sallow x F!MC

Summary: Being friends with Sebastian hadn't always been easy, but it had been worth it. You had stood with him through everything, and just as things feel like all is right in the world, he suddenly starts to ignore you for no reason. And you don't necessarily take it well when you're ignored.

Warnings: 18+, slight bondage, characters aged up, smut, p in v

Word Count: 3.6k (bit of an intro for this one)

Sebastian had been avoiding your gaze like you had the damn plague.

It had started out of nowhere. One day...you're both all laughs and chuckles on the sidelines of summoners court. Leander's poses were ridiculous, and you both couldn't help but exchange a few jokes about it.

There had been nothing wrong for the first time in forever, and the spring weather had just started making you and Sebastian entirely carefree as you relaxed together in the grass.

You hadn't noticed as the breeze picked up, accidentally blowing a tangle of your unruly hair into Sebastian's face.

You snorted as his eyes widened whilst your hair attacked him, you apologized trying to tame and untangle him from it. His laugh was softer, though, when he beat you to it. His fingers wrapped around the whipping curl and you paused as he tucked it behind your ear.

You thought you caught something in his eyes, but it was gone before you had time to think.

“Your hair is it’s own magical beast, we ought to study it in class.” He joked ruefully.

You swatted him again.

“Oh yeah? And how about yours Sebastian? Seems like it’s a topic of study for half the female population already anyhow.”

“And some of the male.” He added smugly.

“Yes, them too. So bugger off about my own hair already. We all can’t be so lucky.”

He smiled at you a moment longer, before turning his attention back to summoner’s court.

You had always bantered like this. He was easy to talk to, especially after navigating 5th and 6th year together....in your seventh everything had felt right in line for once. Like you might have been able to relax with each other after having gone through so much.

But you didn’t get to relax for long.

The next day, you tried to approach him at the Slytherin table, offering him another joke at Leander's expense. All he had offered in return was a weak smile before turning to start a conversation with the witch on the other side of him.

Your smile faltered, but you shook it off. That had been weird, but you tried not to think too much of it. Maybe it had just been a bad joke?

Then, a few days later, you caught up to him in the corridors, slightly out of breath after calling his name to find no answer.

“Sebastian - do you have gnargles in your ears today? I’ve been calling your name for Merlin knows how long.. ” You scolded him, still lightly but the smile wiped from your face when he just shrugged and stated,

“Were you? Sorry. Mind’s been preoccupied with a Runes assignment. I’ll catch you later though.”

You knew a dismissal when you saw one. This time, hurt and anger rose as you were left standing in the middle of the corridor as he hurried off.

But you were nothing if not stubborn. And you would not be ignored.

Walking into Charms, you saw that the seat next to him was still open...despite his pile of bags and books he had placed on the seat to make it seem occupied.

You stomped over, unceremoniously shoving his things to the floor and primly seating yourself down. He startled, looking at you with a glare.

“No other seats in this room seemed to strike your fancy today?” He snapped.

“Why- don’t want to sit next to me? Do I smell like a dugbog or something?” You snapped right back, despite your heated cheeks.

His own heated in return underneath his freckles as he sighed in annoyance, crossing his arms over his stack of books to rest his head upon them. He pulled his cloak’s hood over the unruly mess of brown and it was the last you saw of him for the rest of the lecture.

The entire time you were fidgeting uncontrollably. Your knee tapping had both of your notes almost impossible to take.

At one point, your knee accidentally brushed against Sebastian’s underneath the desk, and he jolted with so much force that the desk shook as his leg flew up with a bang to the underside of the table.

He gave you an icy glare which you returned as well.

Right as the bell rang, Sebastian clumsily gathered his books and shot up out of his seat to storm his way out, but not before you followed in determination.

“Sebastian. Talk to me.” You half whispered before grabbing his arm to keep him there. He whirled and looked at you as if you had burned him, his expression switching from anger, to what almost looked like pain for a minute, before indifference settled in.

“You’re becoming quite a distraction, you know.”

His words hit you like a brick in your stomach, and you eventually released him to let him storm off again.

You had turned the words over in your head as you went through the rest of your day. Distraction? How? You had hardly been in his vicinity long enough this week to distract him from anything.

You were not as gentle with potting your dittany as you should have been, grumbling that, if anything, it was Sebastian who had been distracting you now.

You had skipped supper that night, opting to brood in the undercroft instead...only to find that Sebastian had the same idea.

“No-“ He went to stand from the chair he had been seated in, but you had enough.

“Incancerous!”

You had your wand out of your robe pocket before Sebastian could see the movement, and he grunted as as cords from thin air materialized around his torso to tie him to the chair. His look of absolute shock was almost satisfying. Almost.

Just to be sure, you flicked your wand again to make sure his hands were bound behind his back as well.

“Are you mad?” Sebastian fidgeted with the restraints to find himself fully detained, but when he looked back at you his eyes held you in what you could only define as slight curiosity.

It was enough to embolden you more, as if tying up Sebastian Sallow wasn’t enough. He watched as you walked over to him, his brown eyes meeting yours with an arched brow as your head dipped down until you were mere centimeters from his face.

“Me? Mad? It’s possible....” You teased with a grin, and you swore you saw the corner of his lip twitch as if he was fighting a smile. You were both certainly mad in your own right if this is what it took to finally confront the truth you both had been avoiding.

“...You’ve been running from me all week, after all, so this was the only thing I could think of to get you to stay put.”

You confessed, watching as his expression turned pained, if just for a moment.

“Do you deny it?” You pressed him again, and his gaze flickered just slightly down to your lips. He let out a low sigh.

“Like I said. I’ve had a bit on my mind I’ve been trying to sort through. Distractions don’t help.”

You watched as his eyes tried to find any place else on your body to focus on besides your lips, but it was hard to hide much when he was stuck in place.

Your heart pounding as an idea came into your mind. An entirely mad one...but as Sebastian had pointed out already, madness had already been established here. Your breath fluttered out nervously before you moved.

“A distraction...?” You murmured hesitantly “...or a temptation?” When your finger tilted his jaw up to meet your eyes again, another low breath left his lips and you felt it brush against your own as you both regarded each other.

His brows furrowed together stubbornly, but he didn’t look away as he finally said,

“Does the difference matter?” He uttered, almost indolently as if in defeat.

But you didn’t want him to keep resisting. So you decided to give in.

You move forward as you both hold your breath, and slowly lower yourself, sliding yourself right onto his lap, crossing into new territory.

“What are you...” The hushed protest dies in his throat as you press hard against him, arms tangling behind his neck as you line your body against his. You are slightly trembling, and as if realizing that his breath hitches.

And oh. The fit of him against you lines so perfectly. It also allows you to feel the way his heart absolutely thunders, echoing your own.

He lets out a low curse and you swear you see his fingers twitching, itching to touch you.

But touching was an option he’d have to earn.

You lean back only to observe his expression that is almost pained in his attempt to not just lean forward and capture your mouth right then and there. So, Sebastian watches it instead as you speak.

“Well...If I’m just a distraction I suppose this will simply annoy you...”

Your other hand drags lower down his abdomen, tugging his shirt tail up to reveal skin, letting your nails slide under the cloth and trail the freckled abdomen you had dreamed about. Immediately he tightens under your touch. You raise your brow at him with a pleased grin.

“But, if I’m a temptation...try and resist me then.”

You nip against his ear and he groans. You had more where that came from.

You kiss everywhere along his neck, his jaw, everywhere besides his lips. His body tenses as if trying hard to continue to resist, but suddenly you feel the hard press of his cock harden against you in response. You sigh with a slightly smug smile of validation. You knew it. You knew he wanted this too.

"Fuck," The words are a groan and you decide to smile sweetly in victory.

"Maybe...it's possible." You whisper between kissing his freckles, "...that you don't want to resist?"

Your words are teasing, but hope lingers at the edges that it's enough for him to nuzzle against you.

“You don’t know what you’re asking for ...” He breathlessly exhales. Then he moves to find your neck. You feel a slight, nervous, pause as his breath coasts down your neck, raising your flesh with his heat. Then, suddenly, he nuzzles down the column of your throat inhaling as if trying to drink in your scent, straining against the ropes. Soft kisses start to pepper against your skin, slowly, as if this was a moment he had been fighting for a while. You lean back to find his eyes, holding them as you say

“I know what I want, Sebastian.”

You take his words as an opportunity to shift your hips, tracing the length of him between your legs. He lets out another sharp noise as his lips find your skin again in immediate response. Your hand lifts to tangle in his hair to keep him there, tilting your head back and losing yourself in the feel of his open mouthed kisses against your neck...

But you couldn’t let him have all the fun yet. And you still did have to remind him that he had ignored you for an entire week for no reason.

You lean away from his kiss, though the heat building is hard to leave and his confusion finds you before you lean to lick at his collar bone, slowly removing his shirt where you could, leaving it open everywhere the ropes didn’t bind, biting along the way as another playful punishment, licking your marks as you went.

But your own...you let that completely fall to the floor to reveal nothing underneath. His eyes widen, dark with desire as they drink you in.

There is no denying it anymore. This thing between the two of you. But you wanted to hear him say it.

“Temptation it is then.”

You whisper as you decided for him, and all he can do is nod in confirmation as he fights for his breath.

“It’s a line we shouldn’t cross.” He utters in return as everything suspends between you both for a moment.

“We’ve always crossed lines, Sebastian. Since fifth year. Let’s not stop now.”

“That’s exactly why...we ...what I did...you..” Your eyes cloud and as if seeing the need in yours for the first time, his words soften, “..w-why we shouldn’t.”

“Stop holding on to the past, Sebastian. You only get two options. Now or never. I didn’t tie you up for you to still run away from me."

Your words soften, pressing, as he can't meet your eyes, "...Tell me why we shouldn’t. Or tell me that you want me.” Your words tumbled out, desperate and needing him to tell you what you yearned to hear.

“Fuck.” His breath is shallow, and then his finally eyes meet yours, serious and unsettling. In a ragged breath he finally gives in.

“You know I do.” His breath is strangled as the words stumble out..his brown eyes locked on yours, “... I want you. Ever since your damn hair got in my face and all I could breathe was your scent. It’s intoxicating. I’ve wanted you since then. And probably before that. Even though I shouldn’t. I do.”

His last word cracks in desperation and you meet it with the desperation of your own as you lean forward to capture his lips finally.

A slight whimper escapes your mouth as he meets your kiss with a hunger you weren’t ready for, his open mouth against yours as his tongue rolls to find yours, teeth and tongue, biting and sucking and everywhere, before you can register it. It’s as if he was waiting to devour your.

His hips rock into yours, the only movement he can manage whilst still tied, and you press hard back against him. The electric charge between you is palpable and despite months of build up it’s only taking seconds for you both to lose yourselves in each other.

Your hair tangles into his brown curls as he gives an appreciative moan into your kiss, you let your fingers tug him closer to you and he kisses you harder, but the ropes groan with how hard he fights them to get closer.

But not yet.

Your hands travel down as your mouth stays on his, deftly undoing the buttons of his trousers, and shoving them downwards past his knees until his cock springs loose. He groans again and then all but looses his breath as your hands wrap around him. He bucks right into your hands and you breathe words of praise to him.

“S-shit.” He took in another shaky inhale as your hand moved in a steady rhythm along his length, savoring the feel of him, and finding his girth was enough to have to use both of your hands. Friction still found you, however, with a small adjustment you were able to ride it out against his thigh. The combination of your skin on his now bare thigh, your hands wrapped around his cock...Sebastian was reeling with want as he groaned into your mouth. He pulled back as his cock became harder in your hands, eyes on you with a demanding low growl.

“That’s it. Untie me. I need my hands on you.”

You nipped at his lips, and he he hissed. You gave him a smile as your scratchy voice taunted him,

“Finally telling me what you want like a big boy. Much better.”

Your hand barely flicks your wand to remove the bindings before his is around your wrist, and the other gripping your hip to pull you back towards him and locking you against him.

His hand momentarily comes up to tangle in your mess of hair, wrapping it around his hand with a tug.

"I've been wanting to pull on this damn hair since fucking summoner's court." He hisses out before kissing you again. His hand returns to your jaw to kiss you deeper, you moaned into his kiss, and he groaned in return at the sound. He lets his hand at your hip travel down to cup your ass and press you harder against his erection.

“Did you want me to tell you how many times I’ve been dreaming of fucking you? Of having you right here like this? Do you want that?”

His breath is shallow against your lips as the confession of his desires has a deep feeling of wanting pulling at your lower stomach, the words going through you like thunder.

“Yes." You whimper, the word is show and clipped, your hips move mindlessly to show him exactly how much.

Catching your meaning, his hand left your jaw to still your hips, then he went further down until he found your clit, one finger at your apex as the other dipped into you. He exhaled with want as a filthy sound comes out of your throat.

“So wet for me.” He sighs, and you let out a needy whimper as he continues to work you, pleasure pooling and making a mess between you both. You feel his rock hard cock twitch against your thigh just at the sensation.

“Sebastian -- Please..”

But now that his hands are free, Sebastian is painstakingly slow. Continuing to rub against your swollen nub as he watches you writhe and gasp against him as if it’s the most incredible thing he’s ever seen, watching your every movement. His other travels up your abdomen, to your breast, thumb rubbing over your peaked nipple as he takes in every inch of you, and every inch of you is begging for him.

You realized how badly you had needed him. How you couldn’t stand the brief moment of there being a possibility you were invisible to him, because it was apparent he had seen every inch of you as his hands undid you piece by piece.

Your hands gripped his curls.

“Sebastian-“ Your breath came faster, as did his.

“That’s it.. Breathe through it, darling. Let me see you..” His shallow praise finally pushed you over the edge as your orgasm rolled through you, and you rode his finger still in you while he drank you in, crying out as you fell against him.

Next thing you knew, his hands were around you, holding you to pick you up and lower you both to the ground.

“Merlin -“ He slurs in desire, your name falling like a praise from his lips as he found yours again, never far.

He parts your thighs with his knee, his eagerness apparent as his body pressed yours deliciously into the floor. You rise to meet him, your own legs wrap around him eagerly as you kiss along his bare chest. You need all of him. Your hips demandingly reach upwards to drag the wetness he drew from you all along his shaft.

He inhaled sharply as he pulled away briefly, exhaling as his hand cupped your cheek as you both paused for a moment.

“I- If we do this..”

“Yes.” You cut him off with assured and breathless words.

“Are you...sure?”

You pulled his forehead down to yours.

“I want to cross every line with you.”

He exhaled, as if in relief, and this time when your lips met they moved slowly against each other, as if savoring every movement.

Vaguely, you felt his fingers hook your soaked cloth to the side, and and the blunt press of his head against your folds.

You both inhaled, and in the next moment he was pressing inside of you as the line was not only crossed, but entirely decimated. A sinful noise fell from your lips as he filled you.

The feeling was so sweet that you whimpered again, his eyes widened to make sure you were okay, you only nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck.

His shaky breath turned into a groan as his hips pushed deeper into you, sinking in completely.

“Merlin- fuck. You feel amazing.”

You sighed in agreement against his ear, his brown curls rustling from your air.

Then he moved and those sighs turned into hard and fast moans, as you held him like an anchor as he thrusted deep into you.

There was no holding back. For either for you. The pace was unrelenting as your breath mingled together, praise falling from his lips, his name as a moan from yours.

As he filled you, his hands traveled along your body, worshipping every inch of skin he could reach, reassuring kisses placed on the nape of your collarbone, until his mouth inevitably found yours again, after years of wanting your lips, he refused to leave them alone.

His hips drew every ounce of pleasure from you, drawing out slowly only to plunge back in. A sweet torture that had you trembling under him. A hand reached behind him to hold your thigh, pressing it against him to steady you as his clouded eyes watched your face twist with desire under him. He had never imagined how much it would undo him to watch you like this, as you both fell apart together.

His grip tightens on your thigh, as he tries to still his thrusts, but you protest as your hips roll towards him again to push him deeper yourself. He lets out half of a laugh and half a moan.

“Don’t hold back from me. Never again.” You breathe out in demand.

He presses back into you wholeheartedly as he promises you, “Never again.”

The pace increases between you again, desperate, driving each other towards that cliff and your fingers grip his hair again in warning. Then, with a particularly deep thrust, your back starts arching off the ground as the wave inside of you builds around him.

“Seb-“ You gasp, unable to warn him but your muscles clench around him, almost refusing to let him leave your body. You bow under his movements, relishing and taking all he was giving you.

“Fuck - I can feel you- I’m going to-“ His words are clipped, telling you he’s right there with you.

Suddenly, his hands find yours, pinning them above your head, allowing him the leverage to thrust deeper into a broken and unrelenting rhythm that had your legs widening and hips rocking to meet him as he drew in and out. Your heated gaze locked on his as the rhythm of your shared pace caused the world to explode into stars around you.

You cry his name as your body combusts around him, he groans a curse in response as your walls unforgivingly contract around his cock. Your name on his breath is a quick beat, between gasping breaths, until he shudders and falls against you, the hot feel of him filling you...and then the feel of him spilling out of you.

But his hips are won’t to stop, and he continues to move inside of you as your body milks every bit of his own orgasm, pushing through the mess of your juices spilling together between you.

You both fight to catch your breath, and he looks at you in a way you had seen once before but thought you imagined.

This time you don’t imagine it.

He loves you.

His hand gently cusps your cheek again, leaning his forehead against yours before pressing a tender kiss against your lips.

As you kiss him back, you now you feel the same. He was a line you would cross again, and again, and again.

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow smut #sebastian sallow fanficiton #sebastian sallow fanfic #hogwarts legacy smut #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #y/n

206 notes · View notes

stanfanfiction · 9 months

Text

Taste of You - Ken x fem!reader - PART THREE

Edit: multiple parts have been uploaded and can be found on my pinned Masterlist on my profile :)

For anyone who might want to skip the panic attacks/trauma response bit of the story and just enjoy all the smut (which I absolutely understand and would absolutely lose my mind if someone unintentionally got triggered by my story), I have put 🫶s all along the top and the bottom of the section of the story. So it’s super easy to just skip that entire section and enjoy what you had originally come for :)

Warnings: 18+ / V1rgin Ken / slow burn / smut smut smut/ losing virginity / P! In v! / oral (m! Receiving) / fluff / angst / mental health/ panic attack / purse-snatching incident / hard day for the reader / caretaking Ken / shower play / trauma response / ball touching & sucking / size k!nkk / praise K!nk

You hopped in your classmate’s car, slamming the door shut, attempting you not look like you just ravaged by a living doll inside your house.

You classmate saw through your bullshit immediately. Zoey leaned her head back and laughed out loud, and you looked at her, knowing your ruse was up, and laughed, too.

“Is it that obvious?” You asked.

Zoey pulled down the passenger seat visor mirror and opened it for you. That’s when you saw how flushed you were AND the giant hickey forming where your neck and shoulder met. “OH FUCK.”

Zoey laughed again, putting her purse in your lap. “Glad you know you’re having a good time again,” she winked. “My concealer should be in one of my purse pockets.”

You found it and started dabbing it onto the bruise.

“So who’s the blonde?” Zoey asked, nodding towards your condo. You turned to look and saw Ken staring out the window, smiling, waving at you. Oh god.

You smiled and waved back. “Go, please, go now. He’ll come out and want to talk if you don’t.”

Zoey stepped on the gas and you watched Ken disappear in the side view mirror.

“Tell me about your new man,” Zoey coaxed.

“Later,” you giggled. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Mmm, fiinnee,” Zoey exaggerated.

🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 (Beginning of trauma response section)

Class was easy but also torturous. You aced your exam and were out of the classroom within half an hour, and stopped for another coffee at the campus cafe on your way to your next class. You wanted to be back with Ken. You hated how fast he had turned your world upside down, especially dealing with the aftermath of a really scary relationship that you were still slowly working to heal from. You had been in the midst of a mental collapse when Ken showed up in your life. You now wondered how much of an unconscious decision inviting him into your home had been about possibly just not living alone so you felt a bit more safe.

You got through your next class decently easily, considering how boring the lectures were in this one, but kept spacing out for some reason today. Your memories with your ex kept ravaging your mind despite how hard you fought them, and it was difficult to focus on taking class notes. The professor called on you to answer a question and, despite feeling like you knew it, answered incorrectly, and that got into your head, making you feel even worse about, well, everything at the moment. You were so grateful when the professor announced everyone could leave and reminded when next week’s homework assignments were due.

Zoey texted that she had a family emergency and wasn’t able to drive you home as you left the classroom. You sent her your best and told her to let you know how you could help when she needed it. You decided to take the bus, which didn’t drop you off super close to your condo, but it was closer than walking from campus. The bus took ages, as there was a huge traffic jam on the road leading up to the bus stop. When you finally managed to get to the station near your house and got off, a masked man jumped out from around the corner of the building you were walking around with a knife and started ordering you to throw him your bag, approaching you swiftly. You screamed, whipping the heavy book bag into the criminal’s face as hard as you could before turning on your heel and sprinting away. The criminal was knocked down by how hard you had managed to hit him, and thankfully your scream alerted an couple other passerby’s and they started yelling at the guy, who stood as fast as he could and ran in the opposite direction. Once you knew he was definitely out of sight, you slowed your pace a little, finally at the last crosswalk that separated you from your home.

It had rained while you were in class, and as you were able to cross the street, a car zoomed by way over the speed limit and you got doused with a muddy puddle. You stared ahead in disbelief, but grit you teeth and began to walk home a little faster. You hadn’t had a panic attack in awhile, and didn’t want to involve Ken in any of the shit you were suddenly battling again in your head, AND after having just a kinda stupid day. You calmed your breathing as you approached your home, wanting to just shower in peace and hopefully calm down and not worry about anything the rest of the day.

You entered your condo dirty and exhausted. Ken was in the doorway, grinning, like he had been standing there all day. You looked up through wet eyelashes at him to see his demeanor change instantly, walking towards you.

“What happened?” He was so concerned. His hands danced around, trying to figure out what to do, reaching for your book bag then retreating his hand.

“I just….hmmm,” you worked hard to keep your composure. You didn’t want to break down in front of him. “I just need to shower, and, uh, then we can….whatever…”

He heard the defeat in your voice, and he looked so concerned. “How do I help?”

You smiled a little. “There’s nothing you can do, Ken. Just one of those days.” You patted his arm. “I’ll be fine, just need a bit.”

“Oh, okay,” Ken paused, glancing towards the bedroom. “Uh, so, I need you to close your eyes when walking to the bathroom.”

You eyed him. “Why, Ken?”

He seemed distressed. “You’ll see, but later. Can I cover your eyes?”

You were too tired to play games, even though he was being sincere. “I’ll just close my eyes, you can guide me to the bathroom.”

Ken nodded, looking determined. You closed your eyes, offering him your wet hand, and he slowly helped you get into the bathroom, closing the door behind the two of you.

“I can open my eyes now?”

“Yes.”

He stared at you, sad, looking helpless.

“Can I help you get these off?” He reached for your wet clothes.

You gently stopped his hand. “I’m good, Ken. Thank you. I just need a moment alone.”

He looked a little crushed, but nodded, still learning how to navigate this new emotion coming from you.

“Okay, y/n. I’m, uh, I’ll be just outside the door if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Ken.”

You peeled off your wet clothes we he closed the door, shivering from feeling so cold. You turned the shower on to hot, leaning your hands onto the sink counter as you breathed intentionally, still trying not to cry. You needed to cry but felt scared too, but for whatever reason you weren’t sure why. You walked into the hot shower, focusing on enjoying its warmth and began to lather the dirty off of yourself, shampooing your hair, staring towards the floor the whole time.

When you were finally clean, you leaned your head into the wall, slowly allowing yourself to finally leak some tears. Your head spun, and then the sobs came quick and hard. You sank down onto the tile floor, your body heaving, and your wrapped your arms around your legs, hugging yourself as you experienced your release.

You heard the shower door open. Ken stood there, naked, and walked into the shower with you, closing the door. You stared up at him with bloodshot eyes, trembling lips, the shower water falling over your figure. You could see him racking his brain on what to do.

He sat down beside you, the side of frame gently touching your own, as the shower wasn’t big enough to allow you enough space to not be in bodily contact. He copied your stance of hugging your legs, and looked down at the floor.

“I’m not sure what is wrong, but I didn’t want you to be alone.” His voice echoed softly in the tiled room.

You felt safe. It was sudden, it was amazing, and it made your heart ache even more somehow. Shame racked your entire being and you began to sob again, Ken sitting quietly next to you, and his silent company somehow made it easier to experience your pain.

He allowed you as much time as you needed, and when you began to calm down a little, exhausted more than ever, you covered your face with your hands, mortified. You felt Ken’s hand gently touch your forearm.

“What’s wrong?” He asked so tenderly it made you want to cry again.

You shook your head. “I…can’t…”

He waited patiently for you to finish.

“I’m sorry, I can’t talk about it right now,” you said between shaky breaths.

Ken nodded. “That’s okay.” He paused, before asking, “I just want to make sure it’s not something I did to you.”

You looked up at him now, his beautiful face gazing down at yours. You shook your head. “No, Ken. You have only been wonderful to me.”

His anxiety relaxed, and he nodded again. “Whatever it is, I will keep you safe.”

You had no idea why he said that, but maybe somehow his intuition was way more evolved than you realized. A few more tears ran down your face. “Thank you, Ken.”

“I want to help.”

“You are helping.” You sniffed and leaned your head on his shoulder, allowing his calming presence to relax you a little.

🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 (End of trauma response section)

Ken looked over and saw the bruise he had left on your shoulder area earlier that day. He looked alarmed. “Who did this to you?”

You laughed now, and he startled at that. “You did. When you suck too hard sometimes, you can bruise my skin. We call them hickeys.”

Ken stared. “I…didn’t mean -“

“I know,” you wrapped your arms around his. “It doesn’t hurt, I just have to cover it up when I’m out. Well, I guess I choose to cover it up.”

“Why?”

“It’s kind of an indication that I’m having sex with someone.”

Ken looked confused. “Is that a bad? That people would know?”

You paused, thinking. “I suppose not? It’s just not something a lot of people want others to randomly know, I guess. Hickeys can also be seen as marks of ownership.”

“Ownership?”

“Yeah, like a kink thing. Kind of a, I’ll leave a hickey on you because I want others to know you’re mine.”

Ken’s wheels were spinning. “Kink thing…”

“I’ll explain kinks later, if that’s alright.” You put your chin on his shoulder now, looking up at him.

“Uhh, so, people will see your hickey and assume you are,” he lowered his voice, “mine?”

“Well, not specifically ‘yours,’ as they don’t know who you are, but it could be seen as an indication that someone marks me as a means of calling me their own.”

“Ah.” Ken was working hard to appear nonchalant, but you definitely noticed him processing that information.

Your exhausted state of mind was causing your body to slowly come down from the day, and being this close to Ken, feeling he sensitive he was to wanting to understand you and the world around him was such an easy turn-on. You reached a hand over and placed it on his chest. His pecs swelled when he in-took a sharp breath at your touch.

“You’re so kind to me. Can I return the favor?” You traced your finger down his sternum. A small moan grew from the back of his throat

“You’re sure?” He asked, although suddenly struggling to keep his composure. You LOVED how easily he was turned on by you.

“Mmmhmm. Want to make you feel good.”

“What would you like me to do?”

“What would you like *me* to do?” You repeated back to him, your hand now reaching for his cock, which was already hardening.

“I…don’t…if you are tired -“

“I’m not too tired for you.” You kneeled, turning his face in your hands. “Let me take care of you, my sweet boy.”

That did it. In one swift movement, Ken stood up, bringing you up with him into a standing position. He pressed you into the shower wall, the slight sting of the cold tile awakening all of your senses.

“Gonna make you wet for me,” he said, hooking one of your legs around his waist and holding it there as his now fully hardened cock began rubbing in-between your folds. You moaned loudly at the sparks that exploded in your abdomen.

He reached around with his other hand to grab your butt and you giggled a little when you realized this was his first time really touching you there. He discovered that he could maneuver your hips to move in rhythm with his own this way, and he moaned in awe as he watching your two bodies move together.

His breathing was becoming louder now.

“What do you want, Ken?”

“Just want you,” he shuddered, rubbing into you harder now. You moaned loudly at the way his cock was beautifully massaging your clit. “Just so desperate for you.”

You put your hands on his chest. “Why don’t we take this to bed?” You asked, wanting to be able to pleasure him while he relaxed.

Ken shook his head at first. “Need you now,” he said, hips beginning to buck a little faster, then he slowed his pace, remembering something. “Ohhh, oh yeah. Yes.” He stopped his movement. “Okay, yeah we should go to the bed.”

You cocked your head trying to figure out his change of mind when you recalled he had asked you to close your eyes on the way to the bathroom.

Ken turned off the shower water and stepped out, wrapping you in a towel first so you would stay warm. He hurriedly dried himself off and then tried to help you, which made you laugh, as he only got in the way, but your laugh made him smile, and that felt good to see.

“Okay,” he said, reaching for your hand but then pulling back.

“What’s with the sudden shyness?” You asked.

“Just want you to be happy.”

“I’ll be happy. Can I see now?”

He nodded, then reached back for your hand, which you accepted. He opened the bathroom door and you stepped into the bedroom, and your heart melted.

Ken had put candles on the bedside tables, different colors, all lit, and the bed was covered in fresh rose petals. You looked at him.

“You did this?”

He grinned, pleased to see you liked it. “Yeah. I found this app thing called Pin Interest and uh, looked up things girls like, and I found a picture of something like this. I didn’t know what color you liked best so I got all the colors I could find,” he said, indicating the candles.

You giggled, wanting to correct him that the app was called “Pintrest,” but decided it didn’t really matter. “You went and got all this?”

“Yeah, I took the cash you left for me and went shopping. Although,” he looked confused again, “three different people gave me their phone numbers on the way there and back. I’m not sure what to do with them? Am I supposed to call them about something?”

“Forget the numbers, Ken.” You laughed, and pulled him towards the bed. “Okay, lay down.”

Ken shook his head, and picked you up bridal style. He got onto the bed and placed you in front of him so your back was pressed against his chest and torso, and he reached for a cup on the bedside table.

“You always make this when you seem stressed after class, so I made you some when you got into the shower.” He handed you a cup of your favorite hot tea with a sliver of lemon, just the way you always made it. Had he paid this close attention to you?

You felt like crying again. No one had ever thought about caring for you this way. He wrapped his arms around your waist contentedly as you took a sip.

“It’s perfect, Ken.” You smiled up at him, eyes teary. “*You’re* perfect.”

He looked so happy at you, and reached forward towards your cup. “I just want you to feel loved.” He felt like a wall behind you, secure as you leaned fully back into him, and he rested his chin softly onto your hickey.

“I do,” you wanted to say, but something in you chocked the words down. Instead, you turned to kiss him, and he kissed you back. His kisses were so wonderfully warm and soft. When you two pulled apart, he reached a hand near your cup.

“May I?” He asked.

You didn’t know what he was asking to do but you nodded anyway, and he dipped two fingers into the tea, stirring them around in it for a moment before bringing them up to your lips. Ahhhh, he discovered he really liked his fingers in your mouth. You took them between your lips and sucked on them while Ken watched as his pupils dilated. You licked them for a moment before letting them free, and he looked like he was in a daze.

“Remember how my mouth felt on your cock?’

He nodded, silent.

“Would you like me to do that again?”

“I do. Been thinking about it all day.”

“You’re so patient, you deserve to be rewarded.”

Ken made a soft sound at that, and you decided you’d have to keep praising him the rest of the night, he was so hot when he reacted to it.

You reached over to set your tea down, Ken loosening his grip on you just enough to do so, then tightening it again. You pushed at his arms.

“I need to get up so I can pleasure you,” you purred.

“MMhmm. In a little while.”

You gasped when he hooked his legs underneath yours, ankles wrapping around yours, and opening your legs for him.

“Ken, it’s your turn, remember?”

“Gotta make you wet first,” Ken his fingers back into your mouth, and you knew this was already becoming addictive to him.

“Ken, I promise you, I’m plenty wet,” you said when he pulled his fingers out a moment later.

Ken shook his head. “Don’t want to hurt you,” and with your saliva on his fingers, he began running his fingers up and down your vulva, from opening to clit.

Your head fell back onto his shoulder, and if your eyes had been open you would have seen him gazing adoringly at you. His fingers teased your entrance, dipping in only the tiniest bit before circling it and then going back up to rub on your clit.

“Ken, please,” you begged, your legs shaking a little. “Please let me just pleasure you. I need to. I need to right now.”

“Later.” He pushed two fingers inside of you, curling them right as he entered, and immediately hit your g-spot, causing you to cry out.

“Ken, Ken, Ken…” his name on your lips like a prayer. He was hypnotized by you. You squeezed hard around his fingers as he sped up the pace, holding you in place with his legs. Fucking hell if he wasn’t a virgin you would force him down, ride his face until you collapsed, and then make him fuck you until you lost control over all rhyme and reason.

“Fuck you until you lose what?”

His voice startled you but you couldn’t be bothered to full re-enter reality with the way he was touching you. “What?”

“You were mumbling.”

Oh fuck you couldn’t even trust your thoughts to yourself. You needed to gain back control which would take great difficulty as he swirled his fingers inside you, deeper, feeling every crevice he could find.

“Need you to stop,” you gasped. “Please.”

“Why?” He asked, slowing his pace the tiniest bit.

“Because I want to orgasm on your cock.”

He stopped then and you opened your eyes, watching him contemplate how that would feel.

“The way you squeeze and spasm around my fingers…”

“Yes,” you reached behind you and gripped his throbbing member in your hand, “but around here instead.”

He finally decided to listen and slowly removed his fingers from you. You decided to make him happy and sucked your juices from his fingers, and he shuddered again watching his digits disappear into your mouth. You released them, then looked up at him firmly.

“Now lay back like a good Ken.”

His eyes glazed over a little and he immediately complied, laying down, the rose petals on the bed moving around the two of you as you straddled his hips.

“What would you like first, sweet Ken?”

“Anything you’ll do to me,” he choked out as you rubbed your wet vulva over his cock and ran your fingers down his lower abs, those fucking perfect muscles flexing in time with his spasms.

“Good Ken.” You leaned down and, continuing your slow rubbing on his cock, kissed from his lips, down his neck, to his chest which was heaving with heavy breaths. You smirked at him as the tip of your tongue traced one of his nipples. He grabbed your hips and bucked into you, and you smiled now as you began licking and gently biting him there.

“Ohh! I can’t..fuck, y/n, what….this feels so…” he groaned when you left his nipple for a moment to suck hard on the area of his peck above it, using teeth and staring up at him as he watched you mark him. When you pulled back, the small bruise was already beginning to form, and his eyes shone at you. You realized then maybe marking him for fun might not have been the *best* idea, since he had reacted the strongest to the idea that a hickey represented someone claiming someone else….but you decided you’d figure that out later.

You continued down his abs, licking up and down and he gripped your hair tightly when you reached down to hold his balls.

“Y/N!” He cried, his entire body shaking a little.

“You’re doing so good, Ken. Taking everything I’m giving you so well. You’re handling it all so, so well.”

He regained a little confidence at that but lost everything again when you took his member into your mouth, sucking hard at the tip before lowering your mouth as far to his base as you could. He trembled and made the most wonderful noises you had ever heard, your free hand firmly gripping his base and moving in time with your mouth.

“It’s…..ahhhh! It’s too much,” he gasped shakily, and you paused softly, removing your mouth from him, and climbing back up onto his hips.

“Are you okay, sweet boy? Is it hurting you?”

He stared up at you, and he looked so innocent, so overwhelmed. “I’m trying,” he promised.

“You don’t have to try. This is supposed to feel good.”

“It *does* feel good.” It seemed he wasn’t gaining back any control of his body despite the break from you pleasuring him, and he began to tremble. You took his lips in yours, intentionally moaning into his mouth, and he kissed you back so hard, with so much love, you swear you felt it full your entire being.

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” he whispered, face flushed.

“Why on earth would you disappoint me?” You asked, brushing back a hair from his forehead. He looked so emotional, and then you understood. You had been intimidated and felt oddly shameful and sad your first time, too. You just hadn’t thought that a man could feel the same way, at least it hadn’t crossed your mind until now.

“Everything you are feeling,” you said softly, Ken hanging on your every word, “is normal. But there’s no reason to feel bad about any of this. You’re safe. All of you, all of this, it’s beautiful. It’s special.”

He stared at you, so much trust in his eyes.

“Would you like me to keep going? Or should we stop for awhile?”

He shook his head, running his fingers up and down your back, giving you such a lovely shiver.

“I want everything. I want you.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, small, but certain. “Please.”

You smiled at him. You promised yourself you’d be gentle, and you would. You wanted to make this beyond amazing for him. You held his cock, huge in your hand, and thought for a second about how maybe you should have let him finger you a bit longer to stretch you open, but you would definitely make do. You lined him up underneath you, and placed his hands on your hips.

“I know it’s your first time, but I’m going to ruin you for anyone else,” you stated. Ken had no idea what you were talking about but assumed since you were the one saying it that he would love it.

His eyes grew wide as you achingly slowly lowered yourself onto his tip, and his hands gripped your hips so tightly you knew you’d have fresh bruises when this was over. That made you feel so turned on that you lowered yourself further, keeping your eyes on Ken, making sure he was alright with everything as it was happening. He cried out when you fully bottomed out onto his cock, and you moaned loudly as how long and thick he was. You definitely *were* in pain, but FUCK if it wasn’t so incredible and you were soaking up every moment of it.

“You okay, my sweet boy? Are you taking all of this like a good Ken?” You lifted yourself back up, almost letting him fully out of you before lowering yourself back down, having you balance yourself with your hands on his chest because he was causing you so much pleasure but still adjusting to his size. Ken’s head rolled back into the pillows, shuddering, hips twitching underneath you.

You were going to fuck him out of his mind. You began moving a little faster and he spit out the most incredible noises and half-coherent words.

“You are so….ah…bea - I ohhh….tight…you’re so TIGHT…I’m…so good…y/n…it’s, ahh, please, please…”

Your hips moved faster once you were physically able to stand his size, and you panted, focusing on keeping a steady pace as his whole body writhed underneath you.

“Mmmm, you fuck me so well,” you gasped, and he opened his eyes - those gorgeous, blue, being fucked-out-of-his-mind eyes - and looked so proud and happy that he was able to make you feel this good. The fact that he was still so focused on your pleasure when he was literally experiencing intercourse for the first time made you even hotter, and you began bouncing up and down on his cock.

He yelled out in surprise, hands shaking, and you removed them from your hips to your breasts, which he took between his strong fingers and squeezed, your head falling back and you letting out breathy moans.

Ken started getting close to his climax and you could tell, he was becoming even less coherent, and his hands moved around on you, trying to find somewhere to grip but not knowing where to land. You realized he looked a little scared. You leaned forward but didn’t stop your pace while you fucked him.

“Are you okay, my Ken?”

He didn’t answer, just took both of your wrists in his hands. You slowed your pace now, and placed both of your hands on his face. As always, he relaxed a little, his face brightening, and he leaned his cheek into one of your palms.

“Can you help me finish you like this?” He closed his eyes, taking in your scent as your hair fell a little into his face, but he nodded. “Can you put your feet on the bed, bend your knees?”

He complied, and now his cock was buried *deeep* inside of you, both of you moaning loudly in unison.

You kept your hands on his face. “Are you ready, sweet Ken? My good Ken?”

He opened his eyes, completely lost in you.

“Yes, please,” he whispered. You began riding him again and shuddered so hard he had to grip your hips to balance you. He was so fucking deep from this angle you swore he might hit your cervix.

“I’ve got you,” you soothed as you regained some composure and got back into a steady pace. Ken was panting now, every muscle tensed and fucking fuck he was so goddamn strong and chiseled and flawless. He almost yelped when you took a hand back to reach down and press into a spot directly above his cock. You had learned this from a sex magazine ages ago, about how men had a special little “g spot” too to a degree in their groin area there, but had never tried it. Apparently the magazine was telling the truth because Ken seemed to lose all control after that.

He bucked up into you, hard, and you screamed in a mix of pleasure and pain, chanting his name over and over again as you swore your voice would become hoarse from how loud you were having to be to release some of this internal pressure. You felt surrounded by him - his body, his energy, the smell of the rose petals around the two of you mixing with his scent. You were in heaven.

You squeezed your eyes shut as your orgasm hit hard, washing over and over and over again, and if you had been looking you would have seen Ken smiling up at you right before he lost all control himself - feeling you squeeze and spasm around him, hearing you yelling his name over and over again, watching you experience intense pleasure because of him, while on top of him, with him inside you. You were beautiful, so beautiful. He fucked into you fast and hard, chasing his orgasm that exploded his entire being into fireworks, his vision seeing stars as he lost any idea of how he was moving or what was happening around him, only that he felt SO so amazing, and that you were there with him. He sobbed your name as he rode out his pleasure, his body going limp the moment he was through.

You both worked to catch your breath, eyes focusing on each other, and you smiled, exhausted, down at him. He smiled back, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. You were so thankful he didn’t seem scared or embarrassed by it, because you knew that it meant he felt safe.

He whines, visibly unhappy, when you pulled yourself off of him. You laid down next to him on your side, facing him, your body spent. He turned on his side, too, and hooked your leg around his waist, then wrapped his arm around your torso, holding you close. He thrust back up into you completely . You yelped, grasping his strong arm in shock.

“Wanna stay here,” he mumbles, trying to look dominant but his expression being obvious that he was hoping you wouldn’t make him leave. To prove his point, he pushed himself impossibly deeper into you ever so softly, but now it was your turn to see stars, and you felt like you would cry now.

“Please, Ken,” you begged. “I’m really tender right now.”

“I know,” he said, barely moving his hips but still stroking his still rock-hard cock in and out. Goosebumps covered your flesh.

“How are you still able to do this??” Tears actually begun forming now. Your body was telling you it couldn’t take any more but somehow it was, and you couldn’t seem to manage to make yourself push him away no matter how loud you yelled at your body to do so.

“Am I not supposed to be able to do this?” He asked genuinely.

“Most men can’t…ahhhhh…” you faltered, your head falling into his chest as his cock rubbed every inch of the top of your opening, your g-spot getting perfectly stimulated with the rest of your muscle tightening around him.

“Most men can’t what?”

“Do this again so soon,” you choked.

“Mmmmm.” He acknowledged his understanding, then placed a kiss on your forehead. “But I’m not most men.”

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