#seonghwa fics

[tenelkadjowrites]

Attention - Seonghwa x Reader (NSFW)

🤳 Summary: Your attraction to Hwa, a camboy you enjoy watching late at night, unexpectedly spills into the real world.

🤳 Word count: 17.5k

🤳 Genre & warnings: smut one shot. camboy seonghwa with inexperienced reader. fem pronouns for reader. depictions of cigarette smoking. jerking off. biting, reader receiving. oral sex, both reader receiving and giving. messy blowjob with some gagging. 69. reader swallows. lots of dirty talk, reader is called "whore", "slut", and "good girl". fingering. pussy spanking. choking, reader receiving. unprotected sex. creampie.

this fic is not meant to represent seonghwa in any way, shape or form.

                Snuggling down into your bed clutching your phone, you turn on your side and look at the time. It’s late, past midnight. You should be sleeping but you’re wired, too awake from work. The blueish glow of your phone casts a translucent tint to your skin.

                You’re scrolling through Instagram but you know where you really want to go. Even though you’re entirely alone, you still are embarrassed while closing out of the app and bringing up the site. There is something tinged with desperation every time you go to his page. The feeling is even worse if you spend money; come morning, you scold yourself, the same lecture every single time about needing to go get laid or find a guy nearby to at least have a good time with.

                At least it would be better than throwing money at a cam boy, you argue, and cheaper to boot. Yet the promise never seems to stick. Sure, you might go a week, even two, before you end up on his page. But you always crack and crawl back.

                You aren’t even sure if he would be live tonight. But it’s Friday night and the chances are higher than usual that he might be. Some part of you hopes that he is, the other part of you dreads it. You ignore both emotions, navigating to his page and clicking on it.

                The profile loads – catboyhwa1117 – and there is a tiny green dot in the corner of his photo, indicating he is live. Your heart skips a beat while entering the stream.

                It connects, the picture is grainy for a few seconds and then snaps into clarity.

                “No, it’s supposed to rain tonight,” Hwa is saying in that deep familiar voice of his, “Supposed to rain all weekend.”

                He’s outside, going for a walk, most likely to grab a cigarette because he’s said before his roommate doesn’t want any smoking in the apartment. It’s too dark to make his face out but you can see the outline of the buildings behind him with their small windows glowing like fireflies in the dark.

                “Wait, I’m gonna stop here cuz the café is closed,” He says and there is a shuffling of his phone, a blur of streetlights and then it comes to a rest propped up on the table, “Okay, that works.”

                You can see him now, your heart constricting enough that a tide of embarrassment hits you in the chest over having such a reaction to someone you don’t actually know.

                There are a couple of things that make following Hwa on his cam for a year now both mystifying and agonizing. The first is that there is nothing about his appearance that usually lends itself to your type of guy. He smokes, which you typically find off putting, he has a ton of tattoos, his tongue is pierced, and he wears a lot of jewelry. He wears thin black t-shirts and jeans that hang low off his slender hips, sometimes even crop tops that show off his stomach and abs. He fits the stereotype of bad boy almost painfully so which would also be a turn off if it was apparent that nothing about it felt false in all the streams of his you’ve watched (which are numerous).

                The second thing is that you live in the same city.

                You didn’t know this at first when watching his streams. You stumbled across his profile late one night when you were exceptionally lonely and looking for any sort of human connection. There was something oddly captivating about his appearance, the way he talked to everyone as if he personally knew them and of course, how he looked when he decided to show off his body that made you weak in the knees. But the more you watched Hwa, the more you recognized places like the corner shop he’d pop into it, the backdrop of buildings behind him, the occasional bar he would go into to stream himself having a drink. The definite proof came one night when a popular musician came to town and he got stuck in the crowds after the show let out.

                That made watching Hwa a little too real. The possibility of running into him left you both terrified and exhilarated. You never dreamt of trying to find his location when he was streaming because that felt way too creepy. Admitting to Hwa that you tracked him down on a stream meant that you watched him touch himself on his shows and have seen him naked before and there was no way in hell you could look that man in the face and let him know that. No, better to leave it up to the universe than tempting fate yourself.

                There is a spark as Hwa lights up his cigarette, leaning close to the camera. The lighting here is better and you can see a silver necklace dangling in front of his chest. He’s wearing just a thin sleeveless black shirt tonight, exposing his toned arms which have a random assortment of tattoos on them. His jewelry is gaudy, big heavy ugly rings on his long and slender fingers. His black nail polish is chipping and he doesn’t seem to care. His cheekbones could cut glass and his eyelashes are so long that you’re kinda jealous.

                Even if I did run into him, he wouldn’t look twice at me, you think, knowing that your fashion sense is next to nonexistent and your superpower is the ability to blend into the background of any event and have no one notice you especially someone like Hwa.

                “Someone asked what we’re doing tonight,” Hwa says, his eyes scanning chat, “Do we ever do anything? ‘Are you going to jerk off tonight’ asked someone else. Frankly, I love the enthusiasm so I’ll consider it. ‘Is your band going to do a show soon’. I’m not in a band but I appreciate the conclusion you leapt to based off my appearance. I think I would look good in a band, not gonna lie.”

                You occasionally type in chat, too shy even through a screen to interact with Hwa regularly. That’s another reason you spend most of your time alone – your overpowering shyness that you can never seem to overcome even in chat rooms.

                There is another word that comes to mind when you watch Hwa’s streams – he’s what your friends would label a bit of a fuckboy. He knows he’s attractive, he’s confident to the point of arrogance, and is candid about how much he enjoys sex. Basically, if he wasn’t on your phone screen, you would steer clear of him out of fear that you would be unable to keep up with his pace and experience.

                But since he is just on your phone screen…well, it’s okay to watch from afar.

                “No, I’m going back to my place after this. I just needed a smoke and wanted to go for a walk, figured I’d say hi to everyone,” Hwa goes, leaning back against the metal chair. His black hair falls in front of his eyes a little and he pushes it away quickly. “Is there a reason everyone is hornier tonight than normal?” He isn’t wrong, the entire chat is filled with people simping harder than usual for him.

                “Full moon,” You type after hesitating for a few seconds.

                “BubblegumHeart said it’s the full moon,” He reads, sending a jolt through you as he says your username, “I think that one has a lot of merit. More merit than half of the other shit you guys are sending like it’s my sleeveless shirt.”

                In all honesty, it most likely is the sleeveless shirt, you think.

                Hwa waves the smoke out of his face, taking one long drag off the cigarette before smushing it against the table and standing up. You’re staring at his black jeans hanging loosely off his hips, a belt thrown lazily around his delicate waist and can feel your thighs clench. You don’t know why some random person online can make you this turned on and no one in reality can. Your sexual experience is pretty thin but even the few encounters you’ve had don’t make you as turned on as watching Hwa just casually existing.

                He picks up the camera, bringing his face back into view. Not for the first time, you find yourself admiring how plump his lips are and how occasionally a streetlight catches the tongue piercing when he talks and it glimmers for a brief millisecond. You’ve wondered before if the piercing would make him going down on you a different experience from your other ones.

                Both in the stream and in your bedroom, you hear a crack of thunder in the distance. Hwa looks over his shoulder, making a face.

                “Guess I better walk faster,” He remarks.

                You don’t type again in chat as he heads to his apartment. The time spent getting back to his place is mostly him flirting with people in the chat, typical of his streams. People toss money his way for more specific attention. If there is one thing Hwa is good at, it’s making everyone who throws money in his direction feel special. The attention is fleeting and means nothing but for those few moments where he gives a thoughtful response or more intense flirting; it makes everything else fade to the background. That’s why you’re here, after all, and why you’ve given him money yourself.

                Back at his apartment, the camera is covered until he gets into his bedroom to give his roommate respect and privacy. You know nothing about his roommate besides they don’t want him smoking in the apartment. Once Hwa is back in his bedroom, the phone is plopped onto its stand showing off his bed and large computer set up. He’s mentioned before he makes music in his spare time (synthwave, if you remember correctly, which is how the rumor he is in a band got started) and uses his computer to do it.

                Hwa seems to live permanently in mood lighting. A purple lava lamp is glowing on his desk, his computer has those light up rainbow keys you typically only see on the ratemysetup subreddit, and he flicks on one of those projector lights that sends hazy stars slowly across the ceiling, also in purple. You don’t think you’d recognize him in anything other than the dim lighting of bars, coloured lights or the glimmer from the moon.

                “Alright, sorry everyone but I’m switching to members only,” He says to the camera and your heart skips a beat, “If you wanna stick around, you can subscribe.”

                Hwa exclusively switched to members only streams when he started doing the sort of thing that makes your brain melt. Of course, you had subscribed around eight months ago in a fit of weakness and desire. The stream switches over to members only and you find yourself sitting up a little more in bed, eyes glued to the small screen of your phone.

                Hwa is sitting at the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his hair as he reads the chat. “‘Tell us about the last person you fucked’, no, I don’t talk about anything I do off camera with people. They didn’t agree to that. You guys know the rules, you’re just all rowdy tonight. Maybe this will calm you all down.”

                He stands up, pulling his shirt off over his head and throwing it onto the bed. You swallow hard, staring at Hwa shirtless. Your favourite thing about him like this is the snake tattoo that starts just above his hip bone, circles around his torso, goes up along his back before looping back onto his chest and ends with the snake head just underneath his collarbone. It’s black with hints of red, gorgeous against his skin and incredibly sexy for reasons you don’t understand. The first time you saw it, you almost fell out of bed and now you cling to any time he shows it off.

                Hwa is playing up the audience, knowing damn well that taking off his shirt won’t do a thing to settle anyone down, yourself included. Even though your logical mind knows better, you find yourself tossing him a few dollars to tell him how good he looks. When he says thanks, you squirm in bed, resisting the urge to touch yourself already.

                He pulls the belt off his pants, dropping it to the floor. His pants slide down another inch, exposing the top of his hip bones. Hwa seems to enjoy showing off on camera, getting off on the attention people give him whenever he decides to jerk off for everyone. You’d pass away before ever doing something like that in front of strangers but his confidence is appealing in a new way. You find yourself attracted to everything Hwa does even though you’ve never looked at guys like him before.

                “‘Can I hire you to fuck me’ no, you cannot but I appreciate the money,” Hwa says, unzipping his pants and lowering them to show off his boxers.

                You can see the bulge of his already hard cock and your hand wiggles down to the band of your own underwear. You can’t believe how turned on you are or how badly you want him, this man you’ll never have, this man who will never notice your existence outside of a throwaway line uttered to you during a stream.

                He runs his hand down the front of his boxers, fondling himself. The rings glitter in soft lights of his room as his cock grows harder. You think about being on your knees and taking Hwa in your mouth, wondering what it would be like to have him make a mess of your face with his cum while he talks dirty in that low voice of his. When it came to Hwa, you wanted to him fuck you in ways you hadn’t thought about before; it was as if you would do anything to be his dirty little whore.

                You end up giving him more money just to tell him how much you want to suck his cock as your hand dips underneath your underwear to touch your wet pussy.

                “BubblegumHeart wants to suck my cock. It’s funny how chatty you get whenever I’m half naked. Exceptionally quiet the entire stream minus a comment here or there and then dying for me to fuck their face,” Hwa says, pulling the boxers down as his cock springs free.

                The comment makes your head spin, your finger touching your clit with a jolt of pleasure at the sight of Hwa wrapping his hand around his length along with his dirty comment aimed at you. You think once again about being on your knees for him, his fingers gently tilting your chin upwards to look at him while stroking his cock. He’d call you his little slut, tell you to be his good girl and suck his dick. On the screen, Hwa is slowly jerking himself off, basking in the attention from everyone in chat. Your eyes are glued to the screen, not caring what anyone else is saying, just admiring the way his hand looks around his dick and how his balls must be full of cum. Your finger rubs your clit, pussy wet as you both watch him and daydream about what he would do to you.

                Hwa spits on his hand lewdly, smearing it across his cock. The tip is glistening with precum as he moves his hips slightly so there is a better angle of it shown to the camera. You’re thinking about how it’d feel in your mouth and how much of it you could take before it’d hit the back of your throat. You don’t care if you made a mess with Hwa, in fact most of your daydreams are centred around him fucking you for so long and so hard that you’re practically unrecognizable by the end.

                Hwa resumes jerking off, his painted fingernails a blur as he increases his speed. Your pussy is dripping wet, soaking through your underwear as you furiously rub your clit. In the purple hue of his bedroom, Hwa’s torso is bathed in soft colours, the snake looking almost sinister wrapped around him. The projector that rotates the stars occasionally has one or two land on his stomach for a couple of seconds before moving away, giving a small pinprick of bright light against his toned abs for a second.

                He slows down his speed, allowing a drop of precum to drip off the tip of his dick before resuming. You can hear how wet your pussy is, unable to stop as your climax draws closer watching Hwa. You want to run your tongue up along his snake tattoo, bounce in his lap and have his hands roam all over your body. The desire is a palpable thing, a beast that resides just under the surface of your skin. You know that a chance with Hwa will never happen and that wanting him this much is silly but watching him touch himself shatters all the borders you usually put up.

                Hwa’s breathing is heavy and maybe his moans are for the sake of the audience, you don’t know nor care, but he sounds positively delicious as his orgasm draws nearer. You can picture his hand curling around your neck, giving it a squeeze as he pounds you into the bed so hard that you could see stars. You’d let him do anything to you, be his doll –

                Hwa gasps and his climax begins. His load goes all over his hand, making a mess as he tries to stop it from getting everywhere. There is a ton of it, he always cums a lot, and your hips wiggle as your own orgasm begins at the sight of his load and the mental image of him coating your face with it.

                Your phone drops from your hands as you lose yourself to the pleasure, head rolled back against the pillow. As your body goes limp, you can hear Hwa talk about cleaning up his mess from where your phone fell onto the bed.

                Your cheeks burn with sudden embarrassment as the orgasm abates and reality sets in. Ashamed, you sit up and snatch your phone, exiting out of the live stream hastily as if someone is going to discover what you did.

                Plopping back in bed, you stare at the ceiling. The storm started at some point during the live stream, and now you listen to it strike against the roof. You force your eyes closed, knowing that come morning, you’ll be beating yourself up for spending money in the stream and for being down so badly over a person that will never know you exist.

*

                It’s Saturday night and for once you’re out at a bar although it wasn’t your idea. Two of your friends convinced you to come with them to a larger get together. It’s someone’s birthday but you aren’t exactly sure who.

                After a couple hours, you’re already ready to go home. The bar is loud, incredibly crowded since it’s the weekend, and you aren’t much of a drinker. Having only agreed so that they would keep inviting you to things, you idly wonder how much time you can put in here before it’s okay to leave.

                As usual, you end up on the outskirts of the group. Part of it is your choosing – too much social interaction makes your anxiety overwhelming – and part of it is just how things seemingly always go.

                The rain began hours ago, a torrent that wiped the entire city clean before slowing to a steady thrum. The bar smells like water, the city, smoke and too many perfumes and colognes battling for attention. Your back presses against the wall, watching as a cluster of people play pool, your friends order another round of shots and someone begins to drunkenly yell at someone who spilled their beer.

                You don’t think anyone would notice if you were to slink out now. The city makes it easy to get swallowed up in. Your nerves are frayed from all the anxiety and noise. Deciding to call it a night, you wiggle through the crowd, popping out of the entrance and into the rain.

                The temperature has dropped considerably since you were last outside. Taking a deep breath, you feel it freeze your lungs for a few seconds. You don’t have an umbrella but awkwardly shove yourself back into the oversized hoodie that had been removed earlier in the night.

                After wandering down the block, you stop in front of a bar that is swathed in dark and red, almost sinister looking. The windows are tinted and you can’t see inside. There are shadows against the windows, slightly distorted from whatever effect the glass has on it, making it look vaguely like a bar from the underworld. But the stoop directly in front is quiet and under an overhang which makes it a perfect spot to plop down at to give yourself a few minutes to settle your nerves.

                The concrete is cold against your fingertips. You tried to dress up tonight a bit which meant a skirt that ended right at your knees. Now, it just means you’re cold. You pull the hood up of your hoodie, trying to get warm. Rubbing your hands together, you idly watch the way the cars cut through the puddles and the streetlights shatter like glass in each ripple.

                You exhale slowly, enjoying the peace and quiet. Yes, you made the right call in leaving the bar. You’ll be home soon, crawling into your warm bed and into your dreams soon enough.

                You hear the door to the bar swing open followed by a burst of electronic music before it becomes muffled again. You don’t pay any attention to a few people leaving, their heads bowed together as they giggle. You think maybe, normally, you’d feel lonely at a moment like this. But right now, you are just so relieved to be in the quiet of the street versus all the earlier noise.

                The door opens again, another explosion of music for a couple of seconds. You tilt your face back, studying the way an apartment building looks as if it is touching the storm clouds. You wonder what each individual person in each apartment is doing –

                “Hey, do you have a light?”

                At first, you don’t think the voice could be directed at you. But as the silence stretches and you bring your head out of the clouds, the voice tries again.

                “Can never fucking tell if someone has Air Pods in. Honest to hell, it kinda drives me crazy…Hey, do you have a light?” The repeated question is a lot louder this time.

                That voice, you think as time comes to a crawl, there’s no way. You turn your head in the direction of it, your heart knowing before your brain that it is going to belong to…

                Everything seems to be moving in slow motion. There is you, freezing your ass off on concrete, and then there is him, the cam boy of your dreams, Hwa, standing right in front of you, slightly leaning forward, squinting as if trying to see if you have Air Pods in because your ears are covered by the hoodie.

                “No, I don’t smoke.” You hear your voice although it sounds very far away, as if it doesn’t belong to you.

                This cannot be happening.

                But it is. Hwa is wearing a thin black tank top with a fishnet shirt tossed over it, exposing his bare arms in the cut outs of the netting. A necklace with a small green pendant dangles in front of his leaning body, swinging gently like a pendulum. His black jeans are ripped, his knees exposed and most of his fingers have the familiar rings on that you’ve seen a ton of times in streams. The bar’s red light makes the tips of his black hair glow.

                “Oh, shame. Forgot to bring my lighter.”

                You are frozen, unsure what to do. Just don’t say anything about it and he’ll leave in a few seconds. This whole thing will feel like a fever dream. But that primal part of you, that part that responds to everything Hwa casually does on his streams, is stirring like a savage beast.

                “I didn’t see you inside,” Hwa continues, oblivious to the mental strife you’re currently suffering through.

                It feels like moving a boulder to try to speak a normal sentence. “Oh, I wasn’t inside. I was at the bar a few places down but I just left. It was really crowded and loud in there…” You trail off, immediately self-conscious about talking too much to the sexiest guy you’ve ever seen.

                “No kidding? That’s why I came out here too,” Hwa says and to your utter shock – and relief…and horror… - he sits down next to you. “Sometimes I need a breather from the crowds.”

                You are sitting very still as if one wrong move will make this entire situation vanish into thin air. You are glad that your hoodie is pulled up, offering you a little protection from Hwa seeing your face which probably looks shell shocked.

                Time to stand up, tell him have a nice night and get the hell out of here, you think before that primal beast goes, no fucking way. You run into the guy you’ve been masturbating to for a year, the hottest guy you’ve ever seen, the only guy that makes you feel the way you do and now you want to head home?

                But it’s wrong to talk to him casually without him knowing that I know him!

                “Still can’t believe I forgot my lighter…I guess I’ll have to bum one off someone inside. Wow, it’s cold out here. Are you cold?”

                “A little,” You admit, still staring straight ahead, unable to look him in the face for fear of blurting out the secret or melting into a puddle of desire.

                From this angle, you can see Hwa drumming his fingers against his exposed knee. Those same fingers you’ve seen wrapped around his cock. I think I might spontaneously combust right here on the spot while wondering why the universe would land you in such a situation. The odds, even living in the same city, were so impossible that you never even daydreamed about running into Hwa. It seemed ridiculous that you would now be sitting next to him outside a bar, a cruel joke from someone who just wanted to create chaos.

                “My friend San got me into this bar cuz it’s invite only but then he took off twenty minutes ago because something came up,” Hwa continues speaking in that same voice you’ve heard a thousand times through your phone, “Hey, are you heading home after this?”

                “What?” You say, finally startled enough to turn your head to look directly at him.

                “If you’re not, why don’t you come with me inside?” Hwa flashes a smile, so familiar that it knocks the air out of your lungs, “Like I said, the place is invite only and is sorta exclusive so if you wanna grab a drink together. My name is Hwa.”

                You squint your eyes, feeling torn between jumping for joy and running down the road. “You don’t even know me.” is what you end up saying instead, immediately disliking how hostile the words come out.

                Hwa looks unperturbed, replying, “Sure but we already have something in common by coming out here for some fresh air. On top of that, you’ve just been watching the rain fall against the road which is something I do all the time when I’m trying to come up with a song. So, maybe we are a bit similar.”

                A natural question after this would be oh you write songs? But to utter such a thing would be lying to Hwa immediately since you already know he writes synthwave music. Hwa asking you to go inside could mean nothing. On his streams, he always has struck you as someone down for adventure, someone who loves people, and here you are, sitting alone outside a bar – why wouldn’t he ask to hang out? But Hwa also loves sex and attention, and you’re a woman sitting outside a bar, why wouldn’t he want to try to hit on you?

                But I know you even though you don’t know me. I masturbate to you almost regularly. You’re like the guy of my sexual dreams. But none of those words leave your mouth even as the guilt swirls.

                Hwa stands up then, extending his hand towards you. A stray lock of hair falls out of place, framing his angled face, with his eyes as dark as the bottom of the ocean. Looking directly at Hwa, you know you’re swimming with the sharks.

                “Would you like to have a drink with me?” He offers.

                You swallow hard and go, “Sure.”

Remembering that he told you his name earlier, you tell him yours while reaching upwards. Your hand meets his as he helps you up off the concrete. Your heart is beating so quickly that you’re breathless. His fingers are around yours for a few seconds and you are entranced at the sight of his painted nails as small blurs against your skin. When Hwa lets go of your hand, he motions to the door, beckoning you to follow.

                And you do, as if any other choice actually existed. If the universe had opted to toss you in Hwa’s direction, then you would take it.

                Hwa pushes open the door to the bar, the electronic music promptly smacking you in the face with the force of a punch. The entrance is covered in a low red light and shadows dance on the walls. There is a bouncer by the second door, and a woman is looking crestfallen as he shakes his head, pointing her towards the exit.

                Hwa stops in front of the bouncer, who nods before pointing at you with a puzzled expression on his face. Hwa yells something while gesturing to you and the bouncer nods again, moving to the side to let you both in. Hwa reaches for your hand once more, and the guilt becomes too much as you enter the bar with him.

                “Hey!” You shout over the din but he doesn’t hear you.

                The music is obnoxiously loud – no wonder Hwa popped out for a break – and people are crowded at the bar, bodies pressed together and the air heavy with smoke. The music makes the floor vibrate underneath your feet but no one is dancing. In fact, you can’t even spot a dance floor, just two people wildly making out smushed in a corner that looked like it maybe, in an earlier iteration, had a dance floor.

                Everything is black and red to an almost dizzying effect. Hwa stops at the bar, wedging himself into a small cluster of people. His hand is still holding onto yours, your eyes falling on it. It’s wrong that he doesn’t know, the voice in your head that is as loud as the music thrumming along your skin goes, you need to tell him before it gets more complicated.

                Hwa has now successfully gotten a lighter from someone unceremoniously shoving it into his pocket. He turns around and shoots you a grin with those dazzling white teeth of his, setting off to lead you further into the bar.

                “Hey!” You yell again and this time sharply tug on his hand.

                Hwa stops, turning his body slightly to the side to look over his shoulder at you. His brows come together in question and he asks you what although it is swallowed up by the music.

                “I have to tell you something!” You’re now wishing the confession had occurred outside the bar as the electronic music swirls around you.

                Hwa is bumped by someone, he shoots them a glare and then turns around to face you, moving so close that the warmth of his body seeps into yours. Doused in the wild lights of the bar, you don’t think it is possible for him to look sexier than he currently does. When he asks you what once again, you can see the quick flash of his tongue piercing and your knees actually feel weak.

                No choice left but forward, you motion for Hwa to get closer. He does so, his body angling so that his ear is next to your lips. Being this close to him is making your head dizzy. You can make out the muscles in his arms through the fishnet, can see the small tattoo behind his ear of a symbol you don’t recognize of two small pieces coming together, and watch as his green pendant swings in front of his chest.

                You shut your eyes for a second as if about to jump off a cliff and shout over the heavy music, “I know who you are! I watch your streams!”

                Hwa pulls away immediately, eyes widening. In the dancing blaze of red lights, it is a little difficult to make out his expression and it isn’t as if the bar lends itself to any sort of intimate conversation. But you couldn’t deal with the guilt over hanging out with Hwa and hiding the fact you know what he does in his spare time. It just felt wrong.

                To your surprise, he tilts his head back and laughs. You stare at the tongue piercing, unsure what to do or even say, given his reaction. He jerks his head to the side, an indicator to continue following him. He is still holding your hand as he wedges himself through the crowd. He said this place was invite only but it’s like the entire damn city is here.

                Hwa leads you up a metal staircase near the back of the bar, taking you up to the second floor. There is another bouncer here but he merely waves at Hwa, pushing the curtain to the side to allow access. You follow, walking past VIP booths. Someone has ordered bottle service and it is an explosion of glowing bottles, sparklers, and tiny lights flashing as a group of women pop the bottle at one of the tables.

                The music isn’t as loud here – still overwhelming but enough that conversation could go easier. Hwa stops at one of the smaller booths, releasing your hand and sitting down. Feeling nervous now, you sit on the opposite side. You’re totally out of your element and it isn’t just because you’re with Hwa. This type of bar is new to you, and you’re self-conscious about your quick outfit of the hoodie and skirt meant for a totally different setting.

                Hwa scoots all the way into the middle of the booth and motions for you to move closer. You know it is just because of the volume of the music but to be this close to him is making your heart race. Combined with the confession of watching his streams, you aren’t sure if it is racing because of desire or anxiety. Maybe both.

                His body is angled towards you, one arm across the back of the booth near your back. You aren’t sure where to look. You want to just stare at him, take in the sight of his face and his body and the fact he is this close to you but your shyness at the confession mixed with the surreal nature of the situation means you just end up staring at the table.

                A server comes off, asking in a loud voice to be heard over the music if the two of you want anything.

                “Just a water,” You yell, feeling a little ridiculous at communicating only via shouting.

                “Same,” Hwa goes, taking your lead and the server nods, leaving you alone with him.

                His eyes are on you again and your hands grip the edge of your hoodie as if it is a life raft. Your body is screaming for him a way that you’ve never experienced before while your brain is in a pure panic at having confessed you know who he is.

                Hwa leans towards you, his lips near your ear. You hold your breath, the different emotions bouncing in your chest as he speaks.

                “You really watch my streams?”

                When you turn your head to look at him, you’re so close that it would take a second to press your lips against his. He doesn’t seem phased by it, merely waiting for you to answer. Can he tell how much you want him? Is it obvious that he impacts you? You aren’t sure; his eyes don’t reveal anything.

                “Yes,” You reply, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make things awkward but it felt wrong hanging out with you and hiding it.”

                “No, I appreciate the honesty,” Hwa says and for a brief second his eyes drop to where your hoodie meets your skirt, “I’ve never run into anyone irl before that’s seen my streams.”

                “Really?”

                He nods, brushing his hair away from his face. His rings are so familiar – everything about him is so familiar. You swallow. Hwa notices, trying to hide a smirk. Your heart is skipping rope in your chest.

                “Yeah. I honestly never considered running into someone. Or…I didn’t think they’d actually admit they knew who I was,” He studies you for a moment, “Do you talk in the chat?”

                “Oh, uhm…occasionally. Sometimes.” Mortification is beginning to sit in as the conversation goes further. Does he think you’re some desperate loser for watching his streams?

                The server returns with the two glasses of water, unceremoniously left on the table because they have actual real drink orders to take. Nervously, you grab the water, fiddling with the paper straw, hoping that keeping your hands busy will stop you from reaching out to Hwa and doing something desperate.

                “Oh yeah? What’s your username?”

                “My username?” You’re stalling.

                “Yeah, maybe I’ll know it.”

                His words uttered during the stream last night come back to you. BubblegumHeart wants to suck my cock. It’s funny how chatty you get whenever I’m half naked. Exceptionally quiet the entire stream minus a comment here or there and then dying for me to fuck their face. You busy yourself taking a large gulp of water through the straw, wanting to sink into the floor of the club and disappear from Hwa’s view.

                He is watching you patiently, apparently in no hurry to get information. There is something languid about his movements, like a cat lazily watching its prey and knowing no matter what happens, it’ll catch it. Does he see you like that? Did you want him to? Again, the old thoughts return about how experienced he must be compared to yourself and the paltry limited sexual encounters you’ve had your entire life.

                When you can’t put it off any longer, you mumble, “It’s BubblegumHeart.”

                You spoke it so softly that you aren’t even sure it is audible. But Hwa reacts immediately, a grin breaking out across his face, looking as if he just hit the jackpot.

                “You gotta be fucking kidding me,” He says gleefully, “You’re a fucking chat regular.”

                What are the odds of lightning breaking the roof and striking me down right now? If I can run into Hwa, surely I can be electrocuted, right?

                “That’s amazing,” Hwa continues, sounding positively chipper, “You’re in almost every stream. I always notice you because as soon as I’m done jerking off, you immediately leave like clockwork.” He snaps his fingers. “I could never tell if you were embarrassed at watching me or just did what you needed to do and left.”

                Or maybe a stampede of wild animals from the zoo will break out, storm this bar and trample me. That might be better. Are the odds of that higher or lower? Whichever one will make my deep embarrassment stop first.

                He props his chin on his hand, studying you and your phony fascination with the glass of water. You’re too embarrassed to even talk.

                “So?” He prompts.

                Swallowing, you go, “What?”

                “Which one is it? Do you get that post nut shame and close out of my stream or do you just see those things as down to business, business taken care of, time to close out?”

                You idly resume swirling the straw in the cup, biting down hard on your bottom lip for a second before forcing yourself to look at Hwa directly. His fingers rest again his cheek, his dark eyes alight with interest, and his body wickedly warm next to yours.

                “It’s embarrassment,” You finally reply, “But none of it has to do with you. I just get embarrassed about…paying for attention. And getting off to someone I don’t know.”

                “Lots of people get off to people they don’t know. That’s basically the entirety of porn,” Hwa points out.

                “You know what I mean,” You mumble.

                He shifts a little closer. Your knees are touching now, the contact of skin against skin like pure electricity being dumped over your body. “Is it because you like getting off to me, specifically?” His voice has dropped an octave, low in your ear, settling across your brain to create a pleasant hum. Mixed with the throbbing sound of the music, it is almost making you delirious.

                There is a lump in your throat as you go, “Yes.”

                “Is it because you want to suck my cock?” He asks, quoting your comment from last night.

                The words are like a sledgehammer to your chest, knocking you entirely off balance. Your grip tightens around the glass and you’re sure that Hwa notices but you can’t help yourself. You’re getting to that dangerous tipping point where your brain is about to log out for the night. You only ever get this sensation when you’re watching his streams. How could you resist it when he’s right in front of you in the flesh?

                “Yes,” You exhale, “Can I ask you something now?”

                He nods. Very lightly, you feel his fingertips grazing the back of your neck where his arm is stretched across the back of the booth. The touch is intense; you never want him to stop. It is so faint that you can barely feel it but as he brushes his fingers there, you realize just how wet you already are – from basically nothing but talking to him.

                “Before I told you…about the streams. When we were outside. Why did you ask me to come in here with you?”

                “Cute girl, sitting alone in just a hoodie and a skirt, watching the rain fall across the city. Me, alone tonight because my friend had to leave. Figured I’d see where it would lead.”

                “Where do you want it to lead?” It is as forward as you can get without getting tongue tied.

                Hwa’s eyes drop once more to your skirt laying across your thighs before flicking back up to your face. You’re trying not to squirm under his gaze.

                “I think you know where I want it to lead,” He goes and to your shock and delight, he brings his other hand to lightly rest on your knee.

                Things like this do not happen to me, you think, knowing this entire situation is just too good to be true and therefore, your brain is going to attempt to sabotage it.

                “I don’t – uhm. I don’t have a lot of experience in this area. Very little, actually. And it will probably not be fun…for you.”

                “I’m a good teacher,” is all he says without missing a beat, “If you want one.”

                How does Hwa do that? Just flip every single conversation into something that makes your knees weak and your pussy so wet that all logic goes out the window? You have a feeling he could suggest jumping off a bridge with him and you’d likely agree.

                You make a strangled noise as your brain buffers with a reply and your body just wants to jump in his lap. As you take in the sight of Hwa next to you, his hand on your knee, your mind flickers back to the snake tattoo that curls around his body. The mental image of running your fingers across it is in vivid colour.

                “I do want one,” You manage to say without stumbling over your words.

                Hwa flashes you a grin and leans forward. You realize with a jolt he’s going to kiss you. You place two fingers against his chest to stop him, your breathing unsteady and hands shaking slightly. He stops immediately.

                “It doesn’t bother you that I’ve seen your streams?” You ask, so close to him now that you can study his jawline, the pinkish hue of his lips and the way he is looking at you as if he can’t wait to taste you.

                “No. Why would it bother me?” Even though the music is loud, you can still somehow hear him as though your brain filters out everything but him. “Just means I don’t have to waste any time explaining who I am and what I like to do.”

                Another mental image of his hand stroking his cock. You swallow hard, your fingers lowering back to your lap. There is no other excuse to wield, no other manner in which you can deny yourself the very thing you’ve wanted the most.

                “I guess that’s true,” You murmur as Hwa’s hand slowly moves up your leg, resting just at the bottom of your skirt where your thigh begins.

                Your brain finally gives up, throwing its hands in the air and retreating as Hwa presses his lips against yours. The sensation is like two planets colliding, your entire body is wrapped up in the feeling of Hwa kissing you. His hand presses down against your thigh, the coldness of his rings making goosebumps break out against your skin. His other hand brushes along the back of your neck as the kiss grows deeper.

                You’ve never done something like this, kissing someone you basically don’t know. Sure, you’ve watched Hwa on streams but that isn’t the same thing as knowing someone, is it? It isn’t as if he knew about you beforehand. But you’ve never desired anyone like you’ve lusted after Hwa through a screen and the idea of missing out on him when the universe sent him your way just doesn’t make any sense.

                You fend off a moan when Hwa’s tongue slips into your mouth and you can feel his piercing. How many times did you daydream about this? Too many to count.

                When he pulls away, his skin is slightly tinged with colour and the expression of lust is in his eyes. Knowing it is directed at you only furthers your desire.

                “Do you want to come back with me to my place?” He asks, a sentence that is so dreamlike you hope that you never forget it.

                That’s when the server interrupts the two of you, asking if everything is going okay. You can tell by the bored tone in their voice that two people making out in a booth is just a regular night.

                Both of you say that you’re fine. The server leaves and you try to steady your breathing.

                “Do you mind if I smoke?” Hwa asks.

                “I do, actually, I don’t love the smell when it’s right next to me,” You reply, knowing it would be easier just to say yes and go along with whatever Hwa wants due to your feelings for him but unable to do that to yourself.

                To your surprise, he grins again, that same quick as a dagger smile that threatens you to break every promise you’ve ever had with yourself.

                “That’s alright, I can have one on the walk home. Are you coming with me? We got interrupted before you could answer before.”

                As if saying no was ever an option.

                “Yeah, I’ll come with you,” You hesitate, “Are you sure you’re alright with my lack of experience?”

                “You’re hung up on it way more than me,” Hwa replies, “Like I said, it doesn’t bother me. You just tell me whatever you want to do tonight. You can decide.”

                This takes you by surprise. “I’m not very good at leading.”

                “You don’t have to lead. You just tell me what you want to try and we’ll try it. I’ll show you. If we start something and you don’t like it, you tell me and we switch to something else.” His tone is casual, without any shyness, proving how comfortable he is with his own body and sex, a far cry from yourself.

                But this is the same attitude you always have found so sexy on his streams. Having it directed at you is a bit mind melting. Combined with the proposition of doing whatever you have fantasized about with Hwa and you’re starting to wonder if you’ve just won the sexual lottery.

                “Oh, okay,” You reply simply, too tongued tied and overwhelmed to say anything else.

                “Do you want to stay here longer or are you ready to go?”

                “No, we can go. Thanks for showing me this place but I don’t think I’ll ever come back here.”

                Hwa laughs at this as he slides out of the booth. He says something but it’s swallowed up by the music. He extends his hand again towards yours to help you out and then motions to the back of the VIP area.

                “There’s a back exit so you don’t have to cut through downstairs again. I’ll show you.”

                Following after Hwa, your eyes skim along the length of his back to his small waist. The nerves are buzzing now, the idea that you’re actually going to mess around and most likely fuck him starting to settle in with amazing clarity. You can taste him in your mouth from the earlier kiss and you seem to be emotionally leaping from open desire to pure anxiety.

                Hwa pushes the back door open and you trail after him onto a small metal balcony with a staircase leading to the alley. The rain has stopped and everything shines in the city lights, the puddles a multi coloured collection of neon signs and street lamps.

                Once you’re in the alleyway with Hwa, he pulls out a small box of cigarettes from the pocket of his jeans as well as the lighter he collected earlier. The flame flickers brightly in the darkness as he lights the tip of his cigarette and takes a drag off it, tilting his face away from you while blowing the smoke out from in between those plump lips of his.

                “Here, stand on this side of me so the wind blows it away from you,” He says as the two of you leave the alley.

                “You seem to have practice with this. I guess because of your roommate?” You regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth because it brings up the fact you watch his streams and know more about him than he knows about you.

                “Yeah, Hongjoong doesn’t like it at all which I get. That’s one of the reasons I started streaming. The nighttime walks to smoke could be kinda boring.”

                “What are the other reasons?” You ask curiously.

                He glances at you out of the corner of his eye before going, “I like attention.”

                Which you had gathered. In some ways, you envy Hwa and his love of attention because you spend so much of your time hiding from it.

                “You never get self conscious on the streams?”

                You move around a large puddle on the sidewalk, almost losing your footing. Hwa’s hand goes to your back, an anchor that helps you steady yourself. The cigarette is in between his lips and he’s covered in a blue neon light from another bar.

                “No,” He says, the two of you frozen in place on the sidewalk as a car drives by, blasting muffled music, “Why would I? I know every single person watching my stream wants to fuck me. It’s a confidence booster more than anything.”

                You suppose that he also means you. Feeling your cheeks get hot, you straighten up and continue walking. Hwa brings his slender fingers to the cigarette, exhaling again and waving away any errant smoke that might drift in your direction. You wonder what it’s like to be so comfortable in your own skin like Hwa is.

                “Do you live far from here?”

                “No, about a ten minute walk. What about you?” He asks.

                “Yeah, I took an Uber here. Twenty minutes or so not accounting for traffic.”

                “Far enough away that we wouldn’t run into one another. Which leads me to another question.”

                “What?” You ask nervously.

                “Did you know we lived in the same city? I do what I can to try to make my location vague but if you live in the city and you watch my streams, you must have seen something that made you realize it.”        

                You’ve been honest the entire night so why lie now? “I did know, yeah. But I wasn’t about to…track you down while you were streaming or something. That felt completely out of bounds and creepy. The city is teeming with people. I told myself there is just no way I’d ever run into you. Did you ever think about what it would be like to run into someone who watched your streams?”

                “I assumed no one would actually admit to it even if I did run into someone. Admitting it means possibly admitting to sticking around when I switch to members only and watching me jerk off on camera as well as going on a website that is just full of cam shows. But I guess I was wrong because you told me.”

                “Did I make you uncomfortable?”

                “I wouldn’t be taking you back to my place if anything you did made me uncomfortable,” He replies, stopping at the crosswalk and looking at you. “Do you feel uncomfortable? You’re the one watching me jerk off on camera.”

                Flustered, you make another garbled noise before settling on, “I’m not uncomfortable. I’m just nervous.”

                “Due to your inexperience.”

                “That’s right.”

                “You always spend this much time in your own head?”

                “Basically. I spend a lot of time alone.”

                “Why’s that?”

                “Dunno, I just prefer it. People can be draining.”

                “You ever get lonely?”

                “Sometimes. I mean, that’s how I ended up on your stream. And why I kept going back,” You admit.

                “That and the fact you think I’m hot.”

                You’re starting to think Hwa enjoys flustering you. “Yes, that too.”

                The crosswalk light turns green and Hwa turns his attention back to the walk. For a few minutes, you’re both silent. However, it isn’t an awkward silence. Sure, you’re nervous about being around someone you want so badly. But there is a familiarity and ease to Hwa that makes things comfortable.

                “Can I ask you something else?”

                Hwa replies, “You don’t have to preface everything with that. You can ask me anything. I’m an open book.”

                “Why?” You go warily, “Why are you so open with me?”

                “I told you. I’ve never had anyone know about my cam shows. It’s a big facet of my life because I like doing them and it’s a secondary income. I’m not embarrassed but it’s a personal thing to tell someone what I do on those streams. No one else knows how far I go. Hongjoong is aware I casually go live but not the stripping, the jerking off, the dirty talk. A part of you ends up hidden even if you don’t mean to. But you know that part of me – you know that part of me first over anything else. Feels freeing.”

                You’re surprised by his answer but reassured that telling Hwa you watch his cam shows had been the right choice. You’re off the main road now, walking down a side street together that leads to a block of apartment buildings. You can hear another round of storms kicking up in the distance.

                “Well, my question isn’t that exciting. I was just wondering what you did outside of streaming for money.”

                “Like my job?”

                “Yeah.”

                “I’m actually the heir to a chain of grocery stores so I get money from my parents.”

                Confused, your steps slow as you look at him. But Hwa laughs loudly, shaking his head at your expression.

                “I’m joking, I’m joking. Can you imagine something like that? Sounds preposterous,” He drops the cigarette underneath his shoe, crushing it into a puddle. “Honestly, I got a collection of random stuff I do. Delivery driver, sometimes I use my car to do Uber drives, part time jobs here and there, just whatever catches my interest and gives me enough money to pay what I need to. The streaming is just one of the sources of income.”

                He stops in front of a nondescript apartment complex that is three floors. Underneath the streetlight, he leans against the crumbling wall in front of the building, an indication that this area was once fancier before it fell into a state of disrepair.

                “What were you saying to me before we left the club?” You ask, remembering how you couldn’t hear him over the noise.

                “Oh? Just that you were unbelievable. I like how honest you are. You didn’t try to drink through a misguided notion to try to impress me. You tell me that you don’t want me smoking next to you. You tell me the club sucks.”

                “I don’t think I used that exact phrasing,” You reply.

                He is grinning again. “Well, the intention is still the same. I like that you weren’t trying to hide anything about who you are just because you like watching my streams.”

                “It didn’t cross my mind,” You admit a bit sheepishly.

                His smile fades, his look becoming serious while studying you, making your heart race. “C’mere,” Hwa says, motioning for you to get closer.

                You do, and the thunder crackles in the distance, a little louder this time. Hwa places one hand on your waist, and the other on your cheek, his thumb grazing your skin. Your body reacts to him immediately. The pure desperation is reaching a boiling point. All your earlier fantasies of Hwa treating you like you’re his little whore float to the surface.

                This time, when he kisses you in the silence of the street, you melt into him. His hand moves from your waist to lower back to better angle you against his body. You reach upwards, fingers slipping through the fishnet top, pressing against the hard muscles underneath the thin fabric of his black tank top.

                When the kiss breaks, it is as if you are coming up for air after diving very deep into the ocean. Hwa’s black hair is glowing from the streetlight, his eyes heavy with desire.

                “Uhm, is your…is your roommate home?” You ask. Are we gonna have to be quiet? is what your question actually means.

                “Nah, Hongjoong works overnights. He won’t be back until seven,” He lowers his face, mimicking his posture from earlier in the club when the music was too loud, “That means you don’t have to worry about being quiet when I make you cum.”

                Oh, I don’t think I’m gonna survive this, you think as his words make your breath catch and brain buzz. He is holding your hand again, cutting across the parking lot towards one of the apartments on the bottom floor. Unlocking the door, you step inside after him, thinking about how many streams you’ve seen where he covered the camera.

                The apartment is small, well lived in but clean. The kitchen is even smaller; it could probably only hold one person in it to cook at a time. A bedroom door on the right is swung open and you know immediately it isn’t Hwa’s.

                “Do you want anything to drink?” He offers over his shoulder while walking to the bedroom on the left, near the kitchen.

                “I’m okay,” You reply, walking into his room for the first time.

                It’s exactly how it looks in the streams but from this angle, you see things that are not typically shown on camera. There is a small corkboard behind the stand for his phone that is filled with polaroid pictures of Hwa with his friends. There are actually too many photos to fit the board and they overflow, pinned to the border. You know it is positioned behind the camera for privacy reasons and you’re aware that you’re now seeing things meant for people only in Hwa’s life, not through a screen.

                Hwa turns on the projector light of stars, a familiar motion made entirely brand new from the fact you’re currently standing in his room. The lava lamp had been left on and the inky blobs move slowly. He turns to face you and the worlds of offline and online seem to collide. You suddenly find it difficult to speak, your shyness getting the best of you now that the objection of your desire has you alone in his bedroom.

                You motion to his computer. “How come you never upload your music online?”

                “I do. I just don’t link to it on streams.”

                “Why not?” You are curious, wondering why he wouldn’t use his following to promote his music.

                “Because everyone on stream wants to fuck me and that’ll cloud their judgement over the music. They’ll just tell me it’s great just because they know I made it.”

                “That’s not true,” You say but Hwa raises one eyebrow at your unconvincing tone.

                He moves closer to you, his hands going to your waist as he pulls you towards him. “Is that right?”

                “Sure. Play some right now and I’ll tell you it’s shit.”

                Hwa laughs, his perfectly white teeth and tongue piercing glinting in the dark lights of the bedroom. The longer this conversation goes on, the less you feel confident in being able to continue it due to how you are mentally screaming for him to touch you more. A couple of kisses aren’t enough. You want all of him, you want him to do everything to you.

                He kisses you then. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His tongue is in your mouth, his hands staying on your waist. As the kisses deepen, grow more urgent, the nerves still flutter in your stomach, making you a bit distracted.

                It must show because when Hwa pulls away, he is studying your face through long lashes. “What are you thinking about?”

                “About ten thousand things at once.”

                “You overthink a lot, don’t you?”

                “Almost always, yeah.”

                “Have you ever been with someone and they just…made your brain shut off? Just stopped thinking completely because of how they were fucking you?”

                “I…ah…uhm…”

                “That’s a ‘no’,” Hwa retorts, and his hand is against your cheek, thumb brushing across your lips. He has an unreadable expression on his face but it’s making your heart thud heavily in your chest. “I can give you that. Would you like that?”

                Not that you doubt Hwa’s sexual prowess or his impact on your body but you do find the possibility of your brain being quiet for once highly improbable. But since your experience with sex is limited, maybe he could really do such a thing.

                “Sounds impossible but yes, I’d like that.” His thumb across your lips is distracting, making your earlier fantasies about sucking his dick return.

                “Tell me what you want to start with,” His voice is soft and in the silence of the room, it seems to slink down your back and make you shiver.

                “Will you just…uhm…kiss me again?” You’re too shy to ask him for anything more, the words stuck in your mouth.

                He brings his face to yours, kissing you slowly this time. You can feel this from the top of your scalp to the tip of your toes, sending your body alight with fresh desire. His hands move away from your waist to your lower back, not making any motion to remove your hoodie. As the kissing continues, each one growing deeper, Hwa takes a couple of steps back towards his bed. When he sits down, he pulls you into his lap, not stopping with the kisses the entire time.

                Your arms are back around his neck, sitting in his lap slightly turned so that your legs rest on his bed, too shy to suddenly straddle him. Hwa doesn’t seem to mind judging by the way one hand trails up along your legs to your thighs with his other hand against your back to hold you in place.

                He nips at your bottom lip with his teeth which makes your body shiver. His fingers dip just underneath the bottom of your skirt to touch your inner thigh. It’s a minor touch but feels like an earthquake inside your body. You’re almost embarrassed by how wet you are from almost nothing.

                You can tell Hwa is hard by the bulge pressing against your body so at least it isn’t just you being turned on. Nervously, you break the kiss, feeling too hot in the oversized hoodie. You tug it off over your head in an attempt to cool down, wearing just a regular t-shirt underneath. Hwa tosses the hoodie onto his computer chair before pulling you in for another kiss.

                His tongue in your mouth feels too good to be true and, unable to help yourself, you reach for his hand, bringing it upwards to one of your tits so he knows it is okay to touch you there. Hwa doesn’t miss a beat, immediately groping you through your shirt.

                Your own fingers are once again clinging to the fishnet shirt he has on. You hope he doesn’t notice your hands are shaking again.

                Hwa moves his head to your neck, biting down on the soft skin there with his teeth. A tiny groan escapes you which only makes him do it again.

                “Leave a mark,” You quietly beg, the words leaving your mouth before you even had time to question them, your head tilting back to give him more access.

                He sucks hard on your neck before biting down harder this time. The idea of having to cover up marks made by him come the next work day fills you with an excitement entirely new. Your hand is in his hair, silently urging him on as he moves to another spot of your neck to do the same.

                While doing this, Hwa brings his hand underneath your shirt to fondle your tits in your bra. It’s not enough and you make a noise of annoyance, tugging your bra down hastily so it’s around your waist. Normally, you’d be worried that you’re moving things too fast or should be taking things slower. But not with Hwa, not when you want to be consumed by him completely.

                He pinches one of your nipples, making you jump as he bites down on your neck. The sensations are intense; you didn’t think it was possible to be this wet. As he continues to fondle your bare tits, you remove your shirt, tossing it to the floor. Half dressed in Hwa’s lap while he is still fully closed, he brings his head down, sucking hard on your nipple with a soft pop when he pulls away. He moves his head to do the same to the other one, his tongue swirling around your nipple before sucking on it even harder.

                This time you groan and when Hwa moves his head away, there is a strand of spit from his bottom lip to your nipple.

                “You like that? Being pawed at like this?” He asks in a serious voice.

                You nod, your affirmative answer sounding a little bit higher pitch than normal.

                “Good girl,” He goes and the compliment makes your head spin, hitting a sweet spot in your brain that you didn’t even know you had, “You want me to keep doing this?”

                “N-no, I…” Here it is, your first actual request, as embarrassing as it feels to say it aloud, “I want to suck your cock,” When he nods, you reach out for his wrist, curling your fingers around it and shaking your head to indicate there’s more, “I…”

                “You don’t have to be shy with me,” Hwa murmurs, “We already know more about one another before we even met.”

                The words settle your nerves a little although you end up bringing your face close to his neck so he can’t look at you while whispering the fantasy in his ear. “I want you to put your cock deep in my throat. And I want…I want you to call me a whore and a slut during it.” Your face feels like it is on fire.

                Hwa shifts so that your face is moved away from him so he can look at you. You’re wiggling a little in his lap from the attention and the admission of what you want from him.

                “You want to be a good little whore for me and have my cock buried down your throat?” He asks and fuck if it doesn’t make you feel as if you’re turning into a feral thing in his lap hearing those words directed at you. “You like being called a whore?”

                “I – I’ve never been talked to like that from anyone else but I always think – I think about it with you.”

                Something lights up in Hwa’s eyes for a few seconds. “Oh, so you want to be my good little whore?” After you nod again, he goes, “I think I can give you that.”

                He carefully moves so that you’re off his lap while he throws a pillow onto the floor for your knees. It’s cold against your skin when you sink down onto it, still wearing your skirt. You’re both nervous and exhilarated. How many times have you thought about this?

                Hwa unzips his pants, removing them but leaves his boxers on, standing in front of you. Your heart is beating so fast that surely, it must be dangerous. Maybe fantasies coming true actually aren’t that good for you. You tilt your face back to look up at Hwa, still wearing his shirt and fishnet cover.

                “Pull down my boxers,” He says in the same stern yet soft tone.

                When you go to reach for them though, his eyes narrow for a second and he reaches for your hand, turning it so that the palm is facing upwards.

                “You’re trembling,” Hwa says and there is a small note of surprise in his voice, “Are you that nervous?”

                “It’s not just nerves,” You reply shyly, “It’s…I just…I’ve thought about this a lot. You…I’ve thought about you a lot.”

                Something shifts behind his eyes as he lets go of your hand, allowing you to continue. Tentatively, your fingers find the top of his boxers and you tug them down in a swift motion, exposing his hard cock.

                It isn’t as though this is the first time you’ve seen Hwa hard like this. But the fact you’re seeing him in person, and it’s all for you, makes you unable to hold back even a second longer. Leaning forward, you take the head of his hard cock into your mouth, rolling your tongue across the tip to taste his precum. Hwa inhales sharply at the touch. You realize he is giving you time to get used to him in your mouth so you drag your tongue along the underside of his shaft, one hand going to fondle his balls.

                Your blowjob experience is as limited as everything else you’ve done but Hwa’s breathing changes as you continue. At one point, you’re bobbing your head on his cock, cheeks hollow as you work on sucking him. When you pull him out of your mouth after that, however, you can feel his fingers gently rest on the back of your head so you go still.

                Hwa guides his cock back into your mouth, pushing further back until you gag and he pulls out. He doesn’t say anything but waits patiently for you to motion to continue. After you do so, his length fills your mouth and you press your tongue against his shaft, marveling at how much you enjoy it, how much you have wanted this.

                It must show on your face somehow because Hwa, in a taunt voice, goes quietly, “You like having your mouth stuffed full of my cock?”

                You make an affirmative noise, impossible to reply since your mouth is full. He rocks his hips a little, moving his cock deeper into your throat until it becomes too much for you, resulting in you pulling away with a tiny gasp. Precum and spit connect your lips to the tip of his cock, your eyes watering slightly as you look upwards at him.

                Hwa has one hand holding the bottom of his shirt, lifting it up a little to get a better angle at watching you deepthroat his cock. His gaze is lustful, his desire obvious as he studies your face.

                “Y-yes,” You mumble shyly, your underwear sticky against your pussy from how turned on you are.

                “Show me what you’ve thought about when you watch my streams,” His voice is soft, curling against a spot in your brain where all your fantasies about him are locked away, “Show me what you’ve thought about when you touch yourself to me and think about being my whore.”

                His cock is back in your mouth, your lips wrapped around his warmth as you take him deeper. When you gag this time, you don’t pull away and instead stop completely, trying to relax your throat around him. Hwa curses under his breath which only spurns you on more. With his cock in your mouth, your earlier anxieties about the entire situation are starting to fade, replaced by the reality of the situation – that you are here on your knees for Hwa, after all those times of watching him jerk off on streams.

                When he slips out of your mouth this time, the spit and precum drip off your chin onto your chest, running down your tits. You try to catch your breath for a couple of seconds before taking him back in your mouth, bobbing your head on his cock, taking his length deep each time.

                Hwa grunts, keeping his hips still even though you know he must want to drive his cock down your throat as fast and hard as possible. You get the sense he is holding back as to not overwhelm you, aware of your inexperience.

                You continue, not caring that you are making a big mess or that his cock is slick with your salvia and his precum. Hwa is breathing hard now which only makes you want to keep going. You’re determined to have him finish in your mouth after nights of thinking about what it would feel like to have him shoot his cum down your throat. After another moment where you gag after getting a little too excited, Hwa lets out a ragged gasp.

                Your eyes flick upwards then to see his grip on his shirt is tight, his chest rising and falling quickly. He seems to sense your gaze and looks down at you then, with your cheeks puffed out from his cock and a dollop of spit hanging off your chin.

                “Fuck, you’re gonna make me finish if you keep doing this,” He tells you, “I didn’t think you’d be such a cockwhore, gagging on me like that.”

                You slip his cock out of your mouth just enough to be able to talk, “I want you to cum in my mouth.”

                “Is that part of your fantasy?”

                “Yes.”

                “Alright, my little cockwhore, I’ll give you what you want,” Hwa goes, moving his hips a little to press the tip of his cock against your lips.

                You greedily accept him again, not caring that your tits are covered in a mess and it has probably covered your skirt too. As you slurp and suck on his cock, you drop one hand downwards underneath your skirt to press your clit through the fabric of your underwear. Hwa notices and pushes his cock down further – you can’t help yourself, you moan around him as your fingers brush your clit.

                “God, you are an absolute whore,” His voice sounds uneven and you know from watching his streams that he is close.

                You make a noise around his cock, a noise of approval, of contentment, and Hwa grunts as his cock buries itself in your throat and he begins to climax. As usual, he cums a lot, so much that it fills your mouth and makes you cough, your reflexes kicking in to pull away from him. But Hwa is still cumming, a hot strand against your chin, another one across your lips as he makes the most delicious sounds you have ever heard. Your fingers press down hard against your clit as his load fills your mouth, covers your face, gives you exactly what you have always gotten off to in the middle of the night.

                Hwa looks dazed, trying to come to his senses after the intensity of his orgasm as he tugs his boxers up. When he speaks, it is with great effort.

                “I’ll get you something to clean you up –”

                “No,” You say quickly, your voice sounding gummy from his load which you are still swallowing, “No – keep it on me.”

                The confession only seems to spark something in Hwa, who is staring at you with another expression on his face that you can’t read. He jerks his head to the direction of the bed and goes, “Get up there, if I don’t eat your cunt, I’m gonna start climbing the walls.”

                He reaches for you, helping you to your feet as your legs protest from the angle they had been in. While you get on his bed, Hwa is pulling the fishnet cover off followed by his shirt, leaving you with seeing his snake tattoo curling around his body for the first time in person. Your eyes trace the way it wraps around his torso, the manner in which the purple light of his room lays across his body. He kicks off his jeans, leaving just his boxers on. Then he is removing his rings, dropping them onto the night table. You take in the sight of every movement, so familiar but new at the same time.

                Hwa is crawling onto the bed now, tugging on your skirt. “You made a mess.”

                He isn’t wrong. Even in the low lights, you can see the skirt is covered in spit and his cum. For a split second, you are worried about how you’re going to get home and past your roommate with a skirt like this and it must show on your face because Hwa clicks his tongue piercing against the top of his mouth and reaches out for you, turning your face gently to meet his gaze.

                “No, you’re not overthinking again. I could tell there wasn’t a thought in your head except my cock just now and I’m going to take it one step further,” He is pulling your skirt off, landing in the pile of clothes on the floor, “I’m going to make my whore feel so good that there won’t be anything in your mind but pleasure. Look at how fucking soaked your underwear is,” He presses one long finger against your wet slit, the fabric damp, “You’re that turned on from sucking my cock?” You nod but Hwa shakes his head, “No, tell me.”

                “Y-yes,” Your face feels hot from the confession.

                He removes your underwear, pushing your legs apart to look at your pussy. You’ve never had anyone just look at your pussy before and you squirm underneath his gaze.

                “Your pussy is beautiful, look at how swollen and wet you are for me.” His fingers touch you now, spreading your pussy lips apart gently. “Can’t wait to have my cock in your tight hole. I’m going to just slide right in there because you’re so fucking wet.”

                You make a tiny noise and he looks up at you then. Some of his hair has fallen around his face, framing it, his eyes looking as serious as ever.

                “Tell me,” He says.

                Even though you’re embarrassed at your next request, you push through and manage to squeak out, “Will you spank it?”

                “You want me to spank your cunt?” He clarifies and when you nod, he laughs a little and replies, “Yeah, I’ll spank your cunt, whore. That something else you think about?”

                “Y-yes, with you.”

                “You think a lot of stuff about me, don’t you?”

            ��   “Yes,” You say, shivering as Hwa brushes his fingers lightly over your pussy to tease you.

                “Because you want to be my whore. Just mine.”

                “Just yours.”

                He spanks your pussy then, a smack that isn’t too hard to make the pain blot out the pleasure. You gasp in surprise from it and Hwa spits in your hole before bringing his mouth around your clit. The sudden intensity has a loud noise escape from your mouth, louder than intended, but you are unable to help yourself. Hwa holds your legs apart as his tongue works against your clit.

                To make the pleasure borderline dizzying, you can feel his tongue piercing against it. How many times have you gotten off to such a thing? Too many to count.

                Hwa pulls away and brings his hand down sharply against your cunt again before plunging a finger into your hole. Your hips buck, a garbled noise leaving your mouth from all the different sensations occurring too quickly.

                “Fuck, you’re so wet. I didn’t think it was fucking possible to be this wet,” Hwa sounds almost gleeful as he inserts a second finger, “Hold your legs back for me like a good slut.”

                You obey, although it is difficult because everything feels so good that your hands sometimes almost slip. Spread out in front of Hwa, he brings his lips back to your clit, sucking on it hard, his tongue piercing pressed against your sensitive nub. You are making a lot of noise, pornographic noises as Hwa finger fucks you so fast that you can hear the lewd noises of your wet pussy squelching against his fingers.

                Hwa’s fingers are deep in your hole, curling upwards as he pumps them in hard and fast. His tongue flicks across your clit now. Your head rolls back, and Hwa is right – there isn’t a single thought in your head. The pleasure is too great.

                You hear him spit in your cunt before going back to your clit. He is finger banging you so hard and fast now that combined with his tongue on your clit, you’re going to cum. You try to tell him but all that leaves your mouth is gibberish.

                It must make sense to Hwa though because he goes, “I know, whore. I can tell you’re close,” His voice shakes from the force of his fingers pumping into your cunt and you can feel his eyes on you. “You’re a lot of fun to fuck, has anyone told you that? It’s okay, you don’t have to answer. I know you can’t. I can tell your brain is blank. I told you I could give you that. I never lie. You look perfect like this. You’re dangerous, you know that? I might be in love with you by the end of the night because you’re just too perfect and fuckable.”

                The words prove to be your tipping point. Your climax begins, your grip slipping on your legs as your juices gush out around Hwa’s fingers to the point where you think you’ve probably made a gigantic mess on his bed. But Hwa doesn’t seem to care and is instead making small noises of approval as you cum.

                His face is buried in between your thighs as his tongue sinks into your hole, lapping your cum up eagerly. You are breathless, your entire body warm and tingling from the intensity of the orgasm. Hwa begins to kiss upwards, along your thighs, stomach, nipples and then your neck. His skin is feverish against yours and when the next kiss begins, you succumb to him completely.

                He moves so that he is on his side, one arm along your waist as he turns you so that you’re facing him. Your tongue is in his mouth, your earlier anxiety about being with him like this long gone from how comfortable he has made you feel. The tips of his fingers trail up along your side until his hand is against your back. At the same time, he raises his knee up slowly in between your legs until your pussy is pressed against it.

                Before you can even question yourself, your body reacts accordingly and grinds down against his knee. You can feel Hwa smile against your mouth as he mumbles, “Oh, you’re a fast learner.”

                The compliment leaves you pleased, continuing to rub your swollen clit against his knee, knowing he is going to bring you to orgasm again. His room, which has always been a safe place whenever you watch him on streams, feels just as safe now, wrapped up in him.

                The movements are slower this time around, as if Hwa is aware that going with such intensity for so long is new to you. He adjusts his position to make it easier to grind against his knee, sucking hard on your neck to leave another mark.

                “Does that feel good?” He asks at one point and you manage to answer which he follows up with, “Do you want it to feel even better?”

                You are unsure how such a thing is possible but with Hwa, you’re ready to do basically anything he suggests.

                “I’m going to eat out that nice cunt of yours again while you suck on my cock,” His voice is soft, close to your ear as you rock your pussy against his knee, “Would you like to do that?”

                You’d by lying if you said no, having thought about this very position multiple times during all your fantasies. “Y-yes, I want to do that.”

                “Didn’t even have to think about it. Something you’ve thought about before then?” When you nod shyly, Hwa has that same pleased expression on his face, seeming to relish every filthy thought that has crossed your mind.

                A bit out of your element with this one, you are hesitant to sit on his face but Hwa shows no such similar feeling. As the two of you adjust positions, Hwa pulls down on your hips to bring your pussy against his face without a second thought, his tongue burying itself in your hole. The sudden intensity makes you gasp and squirm in surprise which only leads to Hwa making a sound of muffled approval.

                Trying to get your bearings while Hwa tastes your pussy, you tentatively lean forward towards his boxers. You can’t help yourself – your hands graze across his taunt stomach and along the snake tattoo with absolute relish, hardly believing that you are touching him. His muscles, always hard and on display whenever he shows off his body, are now underneath your fingers. There is no shyness with Hwa, just an enjoyment of sex, pleasure and attention which you both admire and desire at the same time.

                Lowering his boxers, Hwa’s cock springs free, heavy against his stomach. It is admittedly difficult to focus on the task at hand when Hwa’s tongue is all over your pussy although you notice he is avoiding your clit to give you time to adjust.

                Your hand wraps around his cock as you take him in your mouth for the second time tonight, somehow surpassing even your lowest expectations of how running into him could play out. As your tongue swirls around the head of his cock, Hwa moves his to your clit, making your body jerk against him reflexively. His hands glide to your hips, holding you in place while taking more of him in your mouth. You slide his length as far as it can go, maybe just overly excited to be sucking him off again, and when he hits the back of your throat, he slips out from in between your lips with a small gasp. Spit bubbles at the corners of your mouth and when you rub your hand across your lips, you leave a streak of drool and precum before taking him back in.

                At the same time, Hwa groans against your cunt as his tongue flicks across your clit for a few seconds until he switches to sucking it hard with a small popping noise when he releases his hold. The sound is lewd and he does it again, just to hear it before returning to licking the overly sensitive nub.

                One of your hands fondles his balls while sucking him, enjoying how it feels to have his cock in your mouth and how warm it is along your tongue. You bob your head on him as your spit runs down his length and onto his balls, making a mess. But you don’t stop, delirious between the pleasure of Hwa’s ministrations and his cock in your throat. He is slick with spit and precum and when Hwa flicks his tongue particularly hard, you end up taking more of him, gagging around it but keeping him still in your mouth. You try to relax your throat, letting him fill you up in a way that you’ve only dreamt about.

                Hwa grunts, lifting his hips up just enough so that you choke around his cock again. This time you pull back and his cock slips out from in between your lips, lubricated with a mess of salvia and his precum. Wrapping your hand around his dick, feeling the warmth in your hand, you jerk him off. Your hand slips across his skin easily and you can tell he is close to cumming again.

                So are you, for the matter, since Hwa has his face buried in your pussy and the pleasure he is experiencing doesn’t seem to slow him down for a second versus yourself. He sucks on your clit hard, his hands gripping your hips so that you can’t squirm away.

                Unable to help yourself, your pussy grinds against his face. He seems to be getting off on being smothered by you, not stopping for a second, chasing your orgasm more than his own. You stop jerking him off to swallow his cock, taking as much as you can just as your climax begins. Your moans are a wet garbled mess against his cock. The pleasure is so intense that you know you’re making a mess all over Hwa’s beautiful face. But it seems to be the very thing that makes him finish as well. With one final buck of his slender hips, he is cumming once more in your mouth. From the angle this time, the cum spills out from in between your lips, down across his length as you try to swallow as much as the hot load that you can.

                When you finally pull your head off his cock, your legs feel like jelly and every nerve in your body feels overstimulated. Gingerly rolling off him, you collapse onto the bed and give a small shake of your head, closing your eyes and panting, “Need a break.”

                “Are you okay?” Hwa asks, sounding just as dazed as you feel.

                “Y-yeah, just…haven’t had…this many orgasms so close together and done this much in such a short amount of time,” You manage to say in between catching your breath.

                He rearranges himself so that he is laying next to you, also panting quietly. You can’t even imagine how you both look, a mess of sex and cum swathed in purple hues. For a while, neither of you speak. Your entire body is tingling, your legs like jelly. Typically, you weren’t one for just openly laying naked to someone after fooling around, usually wanting to run and cover yourself.

                But you feel at ease with Hwa, which surprises you given the fact you have been lusting and daydreaming about him for so long through a screen. Hwa, of course, gives no thought to being openly naked. You doubt he has ever experienced a moment of self consciousness in his entire life.

                He rolls onto his side to face you, staring at you with cat eyes in the dark. You tilt your face in his direction. The butterflies that had been sleeping through all the various forms of oral sex and fingering that occurred are now starting to stir.

                Some of Hwa’s hair sticks to his forehead, his lithe body draped across the sheets, the snake curling across his side and disappearing onto his back. His lips are slightly swollen and you know he is smeared in your cum but he doesn’t seem to care. He is entirely at ease, forever comfortable in his skin.

                You turn onto your side as well, close enough to touch him but neither reaches out for one another. In the silence of his room, you can hear that the storm must have begun at some point during all the sex but you hadn’t even noticed.

                “What is it?” You ask nervously, unsure why he is looking at you in that way.

                “Does it make you uncomfortable if I look at you?”

                You think for a moment before answering, “No. I just get nervous.”

                “Why?”

                “I don’t know. You might change your mind about what we are doing.”

                “You think we’ve literally and figuratively come this far and I will decide not to fuck you?”

                “Maybe.”

                He laughs quietly as if the entire suggestion is hilarious. His hand brushes across your side up along your arm. The touch is as light as a feather but you feel it down in your core.

                “No, I’m having too much fun with you,” He replies, “You weren’t thinking, were you? Earlier.”

                “No, I wasn’t,” You admit, “True to your words.”

                Hwa props himself up a little to look at you. His gaze is enough to melt you into the mattress. His hand presses softly onto your side so that you lay down on your back, looking upwards at him. His fingertips trail down across your stomach, making you shiver. He seems to be mentally filing away everything that elicits a reaction from you.

                You reach upwards for him, pulling Hwa towards your body so that your lips are on his. His hair is bunched up in your hands as the kiss deepens. You can taste yourself on his lips; can he taste himself on yours? When the kiss ends, your hands move down his back, across the warm skin there. His eyes are a heavy thing on your body as you cast a look downward at his.

                Your fingers are moving along his snake tattoo, something you have seen so many times on your phone screen now in front of you. Your hands trace the way it moves down from his shoulder, admiring the way it lays across his hips up to his stomach.

                You are fairly confident that Hwa somehow knows what you’re thinking about and that is why he doesn’t speak, content to let you touch him like this.

                That’s when the power goes out, the lightning flashing brightly through the closed window and the thunder making the walls rattle, ushering in darkness. The purple light which you have grown so accustomed to over both the camera and reality is snuffed out like a flame.

                “Oh,” You say quietly in surprise.

                Hwa’s hold on your side tightens for a second to reassure you that he is still there. Once again you are pulling him back down for a kiss. His lips still find yours in the darkness, his tongue in your mouth as he angles his body to press against yours. A sizzle seems to shoot up your spine – it is as if the darkness makes it easier to speak, to think, without seeing Hwa directly and having that attention on you.

                Hwa’s hands are running across your body, touching you all over carefully, waiting for you to signal that you’re ready to keep going. His lips are back on your neck as he nibbles there, adding more marks to the collection. Emboldened by the darkness, your hand covers one of his and pulls it upward toward your neck.

                He pauses, lifting his head up from your neck. You can feel his steady breath against your skin, can hear the low timber of his voice against the backdrop of the storm when he goes, “Tell me.”

                “Squeeze my neck,” You murmur and Hwa does so, his hand tightening around your skin.

                Your eyes flutter closed at the sensation. He is so close to you now that your body is starting to scream for him once more but he seems content to keep you lusting for him in the darkness.

                “Do you like that?”

                You nod, knowing he can feel the motion.

                “You like being treated like this by me?”

                Another nod.

                His breathing is changing. Subtle, just enough for you to realize how much he is enjoying how you submit to him, that you’ve touched yourself to him doing these things to you before the two of you even met.

                “You really are just a perfect little whore,” Hwa says, releasing his hold just enough for you to sharply inhale and then he tightens once more, “It’s a shame I can’t see you right now, see how beautiful you look with my hand around your neck.”

                He lets go, fully removing his boxers, the ruffle of fabric as it is tossed onto the floor before he shifts onto your body. It is an intoxicating sensation to have him skin to skin and your hands curl around his shoulders as your legs wrap around his small waist.

                His cock is hard pressing against your thigh. The next kiss is messier, his spit in your mouth, his entire being taking over all your senses. Unable to see him, you have to go off the other senses like the small grunt of approval he makes when you arch your hips in a silent plea to fuck you and the ragged change of his breathing.

                Hwa slips inside you easily from all the orgasms, your pussy slick with your wetness and his spit. He fills you to the hilt, his hips meeting yours as you take his entire cock in one swift motion. Your head rolls back, a moan toppling from in between your swollen lips as your hold onto his shoulder tightens.

                He curls around your body, gripping the sheets next to your head as he slowly thrusts in your cunt. You no longer feel like yourself but instead as a being intertwined with Hwa so that your senses overlap with one another. Hwa curses quietly and bites down on your earlobe, giving it a sharp tug with his teeth.

                “My whore,” He growls in your ear with a sort of lust you’ve never heard from anyone else before especially directed at you, “You feel so good wrapped around my cock.”

                His lips find yours and you tug on his bottom lip with your teeth which elicits a groan of approval of him. The kiss deepens, his tongue is in your mouth, and you can feel some spit getting on your chin. You don’t even know who it belongs to and you don’t care. You’re bucking your hips to meet his ever quickening thrusts, your bodies growing hot together as the fucking continues.

                “Say it again,” You plead in a broken voice and you don’t need to clarify what you’re asking to be repeated.

                “My whore,” He grunts and thrusts particularly hard, driving his cock deeper in your soaking wet cunt, “You going to let me fuck you again after this? No more needing to watch my streams, I’ll fuck you into my fucking mattress any time you want.”

                The words are too good to be true and you hope he isn’t just saying them because of how turned on he is. Your reply is a broken plea, half gibberish, half words and Hwa pushes away from you, grabbing your legs and bringing your feet onto his shoulders.

                He leans forward, folding you like a doll as his hips snap against yours at a brisk pace. Your pussy is obscenely wet and you can hear it even if you cannot see him. Unable to hold onto Hwa, your hands grip the bedsheets so hard that they might tear.

                “Hwa,” You gasp out and he knows – he knows because his hands are back around your neck and he’s fucking you into the bed, squeezing your throat while pounding into your cunt.

                “You like when I choke you like this, you little whore? I know you do. I don’t even need to see your face to know how much you love it. I can tell by how your pussy tightens around me, by your whimpers and moans,” He says in an unsteady voice, sounding like sandpaper as his own orgasm draws just as close as yours, “Fuck, your pussy feels so good. Where do you want my load? You already took two of them down your throat, my slut.”

                Hwa lets go of your neck but his pace is relentless. You are seconds away from finishing but manage to gasp out, “In my pussy, finish in my pussy. Choke me while I cum.”

                Hwa, just like the rest of the night, where he has maintained the illusion of control while you’ve been the one in command, obeys. His hands are back where they belong and with one final thrust, you’re climaxing yet again.

                “F-fuck,” He grunts, “You’re too tight clamping down on me like that –” His hands are off your neck, gripping the bed sheets next to your head once again.

                Hwa shudders as he unloads in your cunt, filling you up with his warmth as you rock your hips against him, making sure that every drop of his cum is inside you. The two of you are making a ton of noise together as the final climax of the night goes on. Hwa pulls away from you so that your legs flop against the bed and his hands move to your back, pressing you against him.

                He is kissing you as your climax winds down. Your bodies are slick with sweat, a collection of limbs wrapped around one another as if one of you, both of you, are afraid to lose each other in the darkness. As your intense orgasm begins to subside, Hwa lowers his head against your chest. The sound of your panting fills your ears; it feels as if you just ran a race.

                Perfectly timed, the power returns. The purple light fills the room, making you wince as your eyes grow adjusted to the soft hue. Hwa carefully untangles himself from you, sitting up and running his fingers through his hair. His back is to you, the snake once again in your clear view.

                His cum is smeared against your thighs, leaking out from in between your folds. You have never had this many orgasms in one night before and your entire body is exhausted.

                Hwa slips out of the bed, opening the door and leaving, giving no care to his nakedness on display. You can see a light flick on in the kitchen, spilling into the narrow hallway as he rummages around for water. When he returns, he has two bottles as he shuts the door again before getting back into bed.

                You prop yourself up, uncapping the water and drinking half of it promptly. Hwa finishes his entire bottle in a few gulps before turning his attention to you, who is now preoccupied with trying to get the sheet to cover up your body a bit.

                “Getting modest on me?” He asks, still slightly of breath.

                Your face grows warm at his words, grows warmer when he moves closer to you, draped out across the bed. Now that you can see him again, and his full attention is on you with no buffer, you feel shy – utterly ridiculous given what you just spent ages doing with him.

                “Did you mean what you said?” You ask suddenly.

                He raises one eyebrow, and distantly you think he would look good with a piercing there too. “Be a little more specific?”

                Your grip tightens around the water bottle and it crackles a little from the pressure. “About us doing this again. About me being your….” You trail off, swallowing hard.

                Hwa breaks out in a slow grin and goes, “Yeah, I meant it. I think we could have a lot of fun together,” He hesitates, the first time since meeting him, and adds, “I think it could be more than fun, if you understand what I mean.”

                You did and it is enough to capitulate your heart into the stratosphere. He leans forward and his lips are against yours in the softest kiss of the night. The hold on the water bottle lessens as you melt into it, into him. His hands are on your cheeks, thumbs brushing your skin. When the kiss breaks, there is a shifting of energy that feels almost like a release of all the tension and anxiety that has bubbled in your chest ever since you stumbled into his stream all that time ago.

                “My little whore,” Hwa says so affectionally that it feels like a cosmic shift in the usage of the word forever.

                And he kisses you again.

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#ateez smut #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa smut #seonghwa fics #ateez fics #kpop fic #attention #500 notes #1000 notes #1500 notes #2000 notes #2500 notes

[baekhvuns]

bodyguard.

synopsis : in which his task is to be your bodyguard, his mob-boss’s daughter. where he not only guards you but also guards your body.

pairing : seonghwa x reader

themes : romcom, angst & smut.

word count : 37.8K.

to say that your father trusted you was a correct statement to some extent, but what he didn’t trust was the environment you were brought up in.

raising two kids despite being a mafia syndicate and hiding his very mafia-like tendencies wasn’t always easy, considering that both his kids would run around during meetings that not a single soul was to hear.

being raised in a secluded home- mansion per-say that was directly out of a architectural digest magazine, the one your father built from his own hands. residing in it with a happy family with his lovely wife, you, and your younger brother.

he had given you and your brother the bestest facilities growing up, from sending you two to prestigious schools despite having no idea what they actually were to giving you two toys that were only ever made twice in the world.  

but now that you, his eldest has grown up. he can’t help but be vary of the environment you were in, it’s not that he didn’t trust you. he didn’t trust a single soul outside his house.

he broke his pact and told you what he did for living the day you turned eighteen, he expected a completely different reaction to the one you gave him. which went along the lines of, “oh, okay.”

so now that you were of age and so were the heirs to other’s mafia groups, he was hesitant to send you anywhere without proper security. seeing how excessively violent his field of work can get, having tiny, minuscule disagreements that could have the worst possible results.

and how you were to take over your father’s position one day, he couldn’t ever risk you or his family getting hurt. it’ll be the one thing that’ll kill him if one day someone gets their hands on his much-protected family.  

So, when he makes a decision, looking at the fine, young, tall man dressed in the finest of suits payed by your father. black hair slicked back, a tie with a pin of your dad’s group the crown.

a smile on his wrinkly face he lifts his forefinger up and motions for the man to come closer, who bows his head and then walks stiffly towards you father who sat on his office chair.

“i hope you’ll be the perfect man for this job,” his raspy voice says, eyes falling over the man, who he thinks is quite handsome, and will cause him some trouble in the future.

“yes, sir.” he hears and smiles, “i will not give you a moment of disgrace, if i do, please fire me.”

a laugh bubbles out your dad’s mouth as he shakes his head, leaning forward on the table with a stance that terrified the man standing in front with his arms crossed behind his back.

“and if you do mr park.” your father enunciates, “i won’t. spare you.”

with a quick swallow the younger man nods and your father leans back with a smile, hands resting on each armrest he lifts a hand to tell him that.

“my daughter will be off soon, she’ll come here straight.” he mumbles and the man nods, “i will give you some rules to follow but i believe this is basic knowledge since you have been my guard, am i right park?”

“yes, sir.”

you father reaches for his glasses, placing them over his nose bridge yet still squinting his eyes as he reads the printed sheet of paper. written on it were rules he and his wife made just last night, sitting on their bed conspiring safety measurements.

“number one,” he starts, “you are to never leave my daughter alone, be it in public settings or more closed off settings.”

“yes, sir.”

you father ticks an eyebrow up and continues with a nod and a quick scan of the man, “two. you are to accompany my only daughter and ensure her utmost safety. her life comes first, understood park?”

“yes, sir.”

your father raises his eyes to meet the boy’s, “i assume you have more than just ‘yes, sir’s’ in your vocabulary?”

“i do, sir.”

he smirks, likes how the man keeps it short and simple. “moving on,” he exhales, “as she will be taking over my position in the coming future, you shall always be her right-hand man in any case scenario.”

“four,” he sits up straight, “do not leave my daughter alone in case of emergencies, she is your responsibility at all times.”

“i won’t disappoint you, sir.”

with a nod he continues, clearing his throat as he reads the next one. “fifth, you are to not make any relation with my daughter.”

your father looks ahead, eyes forming into slits. “do not touch my daughter or hurt her, if i get a hunch, i’ll cut your hands off.”

a shaky nod leaves the man. “do not make any sorts of relationship with her, be it courtship or any sort of sexual relationship.”

“am i making myself clear?”

“y-yes, sir.” he responds, “i’m not to make any mistakes that can sadden you, i will pay good attention on that.”

“good,” he smiles, “you can however be friends…to a limit.”

“do n-“

“dad!”

your father’s grim turns into a big smile, face brightening when he hears your call for him. bursting through his office doors with arms wide open and running to him, “oh sweetheart! how was school?”

he asks as you roll your eyes and hug him, “dad you keep forgetting it’s not school anymore, it’s a university!”

when he pulls back, he pats your forearm, “forgive this old man, i’m a little forgetful at times.”

you raise an eyebrow, “forgetful? not when you remember to take a daily shot of whi-“

“okay, okay!” you smile, your dad huffing before he looks ahead and you follow his line of vision.

there stood a man who suddenly stood straighter when your eyes landed on him, you don’t realize your father holding your hand because you’re so busy staring at the man in front of you.

clad in those black tuxes, a gun holster you know is attached to his broader chest. you can’t help but look at the way the tux cinches his waist, your tongue runs across your right cheek as you take the man’s appearance in.

“y/n,”

“yes, dad.” you reply, eyes on the man who never spared you a glance.

“meet your new bodyguard,” you raise an eyebrow. “park seonghwa.”

“i’m park seonghwa, your new bodyguard from now on.” you watch the man bow, “i’m to be by your side whenever you go out at all times, it’s nice to meet you ma’am.”

you bite back a smile at the use of ma’am that’s never been used to address you, and instead you lean back on your bed a little. watching the man’s his upper body for a few seconds and which then stood straight, feet apart and hands crossed behind his back.

“hi, seonghwa.” you say, and he nods, “you have to be with me everywhere?”

“yes, ma’am.”

“call me y/n.”

“yes ma’am.”

with a shake of your head you continue, “do you have to be there at my university?”

“yes, ma’am.”

“when i go to malls, clubs or those events?”

“yes, yes and yes.”

you smile at his response and then cross your legs over the other, being amused at the way he stares at your face and not look down when you crossed your legs. gentleman you thought.

“even…” you lean forward a little, “to the bathroom?”

he pauses for a little and then clears his throat, “public places, ma’am.”

“what about public bathrooms?” you blink twice and his lips form into a line.

“i’m afraid that’s a place i’m not allowed in,” he mumbles, so formal that it hurt you to admit you liked it. “to satisfy your privacy that is.”

with a smile you reach out to grab the thin file your father had given to you, “i assume this is your file, right?”

“yes, ma’am.”

you flip through the papers to see a passport size photo of seonghwa, staring at it a tad bit longer because you finally get to see his eyes that aren’t hidden by the dark sunglasses he wore. they’re sharp, feline-like, scary but so warm that it tingled your fancy.

“you’re a really high-profile man seonghwa, what are you going to do trailing behind me?” you ask as your eyes graze the achievements of the man and no wonder, he’s in your dad’s personal security squad, his credentials are simply spectacular.

from the way he can use almost any artillery given, dismantle and rearrange them to being an assassin for a long running italian mafia before, that one definitely piqued your interest.

“i serve your family ma’am, your father specifically.” he says, looking at you going through his profile. “whatever he says are my orders, ma’am.”

“stop calling me that,”

“yes, ma’am.”

you sigh and then look at him, then pat the spot on the bed you sat on. “if you’re going to be my bodyguard, we should get to know each other!”

“i’m sorry ma’am, i’m not here to make any sort of relationship with you.” he says, sternly. “i’m prohibited to do so.”

“do you always use those fancy, formal words?”

“yes, ma’am.”

“how would you like for me to address you?” you ask, tilting your head to the side a little. “i can’t call you bodyguard everywhere, people can get suspicious.”

“park seonghwa.” he nods after saying that.

you lean an elbow on your leg, tapping your chin as if thinking what to call him when you already know. “what about hwa?”

“seonghwa.”

“what about seong?”

“park seonghwa, ma’am.” he emphasizes, and you grin, your eye smile on display.

“okay, hwa!”

you know he inhales at his defeat, but it only makes you smile more, “so since i know a bit about you, you should know something about me! go on, ask me questions.”

“i have no questions ma’am,” he responds, and you frown.

“not even one?”

he shakes his head, “i already know the most i’ve to know about you, your allergies for emergencies and your daily schedule.”

you nod, “you know about my family?”

he smiles just a bit, “i work for them, of course i do.” he says, briefly glancing at his watch. “i believe your younger brother will be off school now, would you like to go pick him up?”

“ew no,” you scrunch your nose, “why would i go pick up that idiot.”

“as you wish,” he nods and then takes a step back, “if you need anything, please call for me. i’ll be down the hallwa-“

“i don’t have your number,” you grin, reaching for your phone and handing it out to him. “go on, don’t be shy now.”

“i’m not allowed to use your phone ma’am,” you throw your head back and groan, standing on your feet and then walking towards him, just enough till you’re standing right in front.

your finger lifts up to poke his hard chest that you know he works out for, “stop calling me ma’am, we are almost the same age.” you see the slight shift in his posture, “i have a name and its y/n. second, you are my bodyguard. you can use my phone, third you’re about to step on my cat’s tail.”

the third one catches him so off-guard that he takes a quick jump to the side, both your eyes falling to the floor where a cute siamese floofball sat, adorably innocent wide eyes and head tilted with its tail curled in a coil.

“you said you know everyone in my family,” you kneel down, reaching your hand out for your cat who complies and places it’s face on the palm of your hand. “but you forgot my cat, meet dumbles.”

you see the way seonghwa’s head does a quick snap tilt, “…dumbles?” he asks, momentarily leaving the sternness out of him and kneeling down beside you to stare at your round cat.

“you haven’t watched harry potter?” you ask, petting your cat’s head as he purrs and closes his eyes.

“i-i have ma’am,” he quickly adds, his nerd self-having a field day in his mind. “i just don’t know how that relates?”

“dumbles, short for dumbledore.” you hear him sigh at the name and it makes you snort, reaching to hold your cat like a baby you nudge him to seonghwa. “he’s more like my bodyguard really.”

and it’s the first time you’ve seen a full smile grace his plump lips when he reaches to pet dumbles, “i think i’m going to have to compete for this job?”

with a purr of your cat and a laugh that bubbles out of you, it’s then when you suddenly lean closer to his face. eyes squinty and he looks up, despite his glasses covering his eyes you can clearly make out that he’s blinking repeatedly.

“you’re cute.”

“ma’am, we’ll be late for your first class.”

you bring the blanket to your face, “ma’am, it’s already 11:30, your class starts in an hour.”

“seonghwa, are you my mother or my bodyguard?” you groan, peeking a little from your blanket with droopy and squinty eyes.

“your bodyguard ma’am,” you hear him say, then hearing his footsteps go the side of your room and push the curtains away to reveal the sun. “my duty is for you to be at your university right now.”

he hears a whine come from behind him and he looks over his shoulder to see you twisted in some random position as you stretched, taking the entire blanket with you. he hears you yawn his name in a singing voice and all he does is stand at the foot of your bed; hands folded behind him.

you lift your head up on your elbow, eyeing seonghwa’s ever so classic and sophisticated tux with a smile. “gooood morning, seong!”

“good morning, ma’am, please get ready.” he taps his wristwatch, “breakfast is ready downstairs.”

“how are you doing seong?” you ask, completely avoiding whatever he said with a smile.

“very well ma’am,” he says, tapping his watch once again. “it’s time for you to be downstairs ma’am.”

your lips form into a small pout and you shift on the bed, until you’re sitting crisscross in front of him. “you know my mom would love you,” he says nothing, “you’d be someone who’d make me go everywhere on time.”

“that is my job ma’am.”

“good,” you nod, then extending your hand out to him. “could you please help me get out of bed?”

he says nothing but reaches his larger hand to grab yours, his slightly calloused hands holding your softer ones before he juts you up with one hand. so quick and strong that you almost land on seonghwa instead, “thank you, hwa.”

“no worries, ma’am.” he straightens himself up, taking a few steps back and not looking anywhere but your face. “i’ll be downstairs by the bentley.”

you would’ve never thought that you would ever find a man so classy, so hot and yet so infuriating at times. specifically, when he calls you ma’am or quietly slides you a sheet of your schedule of your classes to remind you of the time again at the breakfast table, making your sibling laugh.

so, when you walked out decked in your branded clothes, that one, you barely wore. two, chanel’s tweed jacket keeps poking you in your side and three to match you little- tall bodyguard.

it’s the way you look like his counterpart if not for the gold chanel pin you have on top of your chest, a wide smile on your face that can only be described as sheepish and a jump to your steps.

the drive to your uni is filled with nothing but silence, despite the looks you throw at him from the rear that you know he manages to see once in a while. or the way he shakes his head when he sees you poke your tongue out at him the middle of a red light.

“are you going inside too?” you ask once you get out of the car, flattening your skirt and then clutching your bag tighter.

“yes ma’am.” he merely nods after instead motioning for you to walk first so he walks behind.

and you do as told, walking in front full well knowing a tall, intimidatingly attractive man is walking behind you. seeing the stares, you’re getting it’s only making you prove a point that he is in fact, the finest man you’ve laid your eyes on.

your heels and his shoes match in pace, click clacking against the university marble floor. he walks in silence, occasionally using an arm to swat anyone in your way which makes him brush your arm quite often and leads him to apologize.

when you’re about to enter the classroom, he abruptly comes to a stop in front of you.

“what’s going on, seong?”

“i’ve to check the class for your safety, ma’am.” he says, and your laugh gets drowned by the chatter of students when he opens the door to peek inside. he then steps aside, opening the door for you fully and gesturing for you to walk in. “after you.”

“thank you,” you quickly mumble, suddenly being aware of the stares you’re getting as you hurry to walk to your seat.

once you’re settled down, the lingering figure of seonghwa stood by you. you glance at him and then the class who obviously looked at him, some in awe, some in confusion and the rest with their jaws dropped.

“you don’t have to come in my class,” you whisper, “there’s nothing to worry here.”

he bends at his waist, “i can’t do that ma’am, there’s quite a lot of threat in this class.” he says, eyeing the room. “your dad’s seventh enemy’s nephew sits thirteen seats behind you, anything could happen.”

with a discreet glance over your shoulder and the obvious sign of danger that emitted 13 seats away from you. eyebrow slit and eyes ready to throw daggers you slowly turn to seonghwa, “okay…” you shift to the right, “sit by me then.”

“i can’t do that ma’am.”

you raise an eyebrow, ears twitching at the door to the classroom opening and knowing your teacher walked in. and if he saw a man dressed in a black suit, an earpiece, tall standing by you. you’d surely get in trouble.

you grab onto his sleeve, “shut up, and sit down.”

“m-“

“it’s an order, mr park.”

you knew that hit the mark when you visibly see him stiffen. nodding his head and then unbuttoning his tux to have a seat beside you, your eyes on the teacher and him leaning back to take a seat.

it’s only then when one of your seatmates, kyle decides to open his mouth and ask you a question that has seonghwa raising his eyebrows in disappointment.

“yo, y/n,” you look to your right, “can i borrow a pen?”

“oh!” you mumble, “ye-“

“keep your hands to yourself mister,” you hear seonghwa’s voice come from behind you sternly say, the sudden warmth radiating from him lingering on your back. you can’t see him, but you know the voice has kyle’s eyes widening. “bring your own pen kid, this is university not elementary.”

“s-sorry sir,” you hear his stutter, and it makes you look at seonghwa with a frown, who in return sighs and takes a pen out of his tux pocket.

“bring your own next time,” you hear him mumble before he sits back on the chair, back leaned and legs crossed neatly.

“would you like to get something to eat?” you hear him ask from the driver’s seat, eyes meeting yours through the rear mirror.

“did you really have to give him your pen?” you ask instead, leaning closer to place your chin on the driver’s seat.

“i can’t let anyone else have you-“ you raise an eyebrow when he stops the car at the right moment. “-r property.”

“so, you’d just give anyone your pen?” you say, hearing him tap his fingers along the steering wheel.

he nods curtly. “i believe your class tomorrow is at eight in the morning-“

you groan, “why do you always talk about school?” sporting a pout you look in the rear view, knowing that under his dark sunglasses he is staring at you.

“i’ll set the alarm,“ he replies and your shoulders slump lower. “ma’am.”

with a sigh, you lean back on the seat. pouting in frustration as the sound of your phone momentarily distracts you, you flip it to face you and scroll through the messages.

kai, 4:56pm

y/n

party tonight?

ryan’s place

y/n, 4:57pm

????

why his place

ew

what time

kai, 4:59pm

uhhh

starts at 11

pick you up @ 12?

you snap your head up, “hey hwa, what time was my class tomorrow?”

“eight in the morning, ma’am.”

you curse under your breath, “shit, my hangover would kill me..” you bite down on your lip. looking at seonghwa through your lashes before looking down at the screen.

y/n, 5:01pm

ill drivo there

*drive

i’ll just meet u there

kai, 5:03pm

don’t be late dummy

you chuck your phone to the side when seonghwa calls for you, “y-yeah?”

“i won’t give my pens,” he pulls into your estate. “if that’s not what you’re comfortable with ma’am.”

“no, no,” you look out, mind completely not thinking about the party you’ve got to go too. plus, how will you go? with the tight security your dad has up on each and every wall of this house, you’re done for good. “you do, what you want! yeah!”

because if seonghwa’s supposed to be with you the entire day, how will you secretly- grab your stuff and get ready? how will you even make it past the entrance? surely you can’t use the front doors? gosh.

“ma’am, we are here.”

with that you grab your stuff in a hurry, opening the door you look at him one last time. “thanks for today seonghwa, but i have a really big exam tomorrow-“ you nod repeatedly. “and, uh, i won’t be out of my room till late! y-you can get an early lay off today! bye!”

“yes ma’am..”

you can’t do this.

you can’t go to the party with a hundred guards and doberman’s surrounding your place.

and you absolutely cannot go with seonghwa being just outside your door, “ma’am, shall i ask for your dinner to be prepared?”

you sit down on your bed, looking at the floor length mirror in front. there’s no way, absolutely no way you can escape this house in a dress that reaches till your thighs and in heels longer than your fingers.

before you can grab your phone, you hear another knock at your door. “ma’am?”

y/n, 11:47pm

kai

im not coming

kai, 11:49pm

why y/n

pls

you can’t leave me alone

with their shitshow

idk anyone

“give me a second seonghwa!”

y/n, 11:55pm

you know the entire school

doofus

kai, 11:55pm

so

pls

u can’t see me

but im on my knees

y/n, 12:00pm

fine

u owe me

kai, 12:01pm

2$

take it or leave it

“ma’am?”

you snap your head up to look at the door, closing your eyes and then opening them with a shake of your head. “i’m, i’ll just be going straight to sleep seonghwa!” you yell, wanting him to leave so you can plan your own. “thank you for today!”

“have a goodnight, ma’am.”

oh, you’re about too, you grin. hearing the clacks of seonghwa’s shoes fade with each step, you rise slowly. grabbing your leather jacket, heels in hand because ain’t no way you’re jumping out your window in them.

you slowly go and turn off your lights, a perfect way to tell that you’re asleep. with a small smile, you push open the window that leads outside just by the garages. as you do so, you see the front gates open. presumably seonghwa leaving the premises, it makes you smile knowing no one will catch you.

with an inhale, cold air flushes inside making you shiver with excitement and the eagerness to get a drink.

you first, look around, knowing the lights at this time are dimmed for privacy sakes. you’ll find it easier to escape, so you carefully extend your hand out—  (after sneaking a peek at your sleeping cat) the one that held your heels and slowly, one by one, throw them to the ground.

the soft sound of your heels hitting the grass is quiet, but you know it can pick the ears of the doberman’s your father loves, with a whine you throw your leg over the ledge. and then do the same with the other, sitting on the ledge fully with your balance perfect.

you look in the room once, knowing you’ve got a fake you covered in a blanket there, knowing your doors locked and knowing seonghwa’s gone home.

with that you jump.

your first mistake was to land on your shoes, making you twist your ankle, and a shriek leaves you but that’s quickly suppressed with the hand you put on your mouth.  

biting back the pain as your face scrunches up for a scream that your hand hides, you slowly bend down to grab your heels. slowly placing pressure on your feet turn by turn despite a cry you’re desperately wanting to let out.

your eyes switch into night mode, as if they were cameras and begun to step outside the grassy area under your balcony towards the long trees aligning the main road you father had gotten built that connects to the long entrance gates to the french door entrance to your house’s lobby.

your one hand holds your heels, the same hand holding your jacket and the other clothing onto your phone that keeps ringing and you know it’s gonna wake the dogs up and you will start crying. so, the only option was to cut it or pick up.

you picked up.

“y/n? bro where you at?” you roll your eyes at kai’s shaky voice. “i’m alone, this is not fun.”

“stop being like this,” you grit, clutching your phone while tip toeing across the road while hiding behind the long trees. “you’re already dancing i know!” you whisper-yell and hear his snort.

“hurry up you weenie!” he yells, and you whisper a few curse words. “or your new bodyguard might come and get you.”

that makes you stand straight, eyes narrowing as if you’re staring kai down.

“how do you know that?” you ask, voice lowered.

“everyone at our uni knows it,” he laughs, “the tall guy who walked in fully dressed in a tux? can’t be the business majors, can it?”

“oh, shut it,” you whisper, growing closer to the gates while looking back and forth for anyone. “good thing my guards gone home, nothings stopping me from that drink tonight!”

“unless your dogs-“

“i will see you there!” you cut him off, leaning against the tree, hiding as if you were in an action movie you turn your head to the right.

you’re ten steps away from the iron gates, one step to your victory but that one step is cut in half when you see the gatekeeper sitting with eyes wide open. and you know, you know it’s the first time he does so anyways because every other time he’s dozing off.

with a pained smile you slide closer to the tree, successfully in a second having your back against the high cement walls with no suspicion.

your eyes land on the gate in a gate (a small one that mimics a prison, ironic) that’s latched open, you grin. eyes flickering between the gatekeeper and the gate, and just as the man snaps his head down. you’re suddenly shapeshifting into a snake and running out the door with no noise.

once you run out, you run  as if your life depended on it. which it did, if your father found out about your early morning endeavors, you’re grounded for good.

and you can’t believe how he still can ground you in your mid-twenties, with a shake of your head you keep running and looking back from time to time before you find yourself in an alley.

your back leaned against the brick as you breathed heavily, chest going up and down as you swallowed the dryness. running a hand through your hair and wiping anything excess on your face before you lean down, throwing your heels before you slip your feet in them.

holding your phone out and texting kai that you’d be there in a few, without your car as you clasped on the ankle strap of your jimmy choo’s you hear a groan coming from your right.

you freeze midway of clasping the strap together, swallowing before comically looking to your right where the dark alley had begun to look even darker. you inhale a nervous breath before quickly slipping on your other heel, not wanting to spend a second here any longer as the groans become louder, and your eyes become wider.

and then you hear a full sentence, you know you’re in trouble. but that doesn’t scare you, what scares you is your father finding about this trouble.

“raise a hand and you won’t see the day of tomorrow.”

“…and it’s my time to leave,” you whisper, holding your phone tighter as you stood up. eyes sneakily looking at the alley as you slowly move towards the road with the aching ankle of yours.

but as you take another step, you hear the loud cry of someone that makes you freeze. but what solidified your death was when your phone rang in the midst of the after silence of the cry.

“who’s there?”

you freeze for what feels like hours and then snap to reality, hurriedly shutting your phone off and cursing kai’s name. you look back at the alley, swallowing with a pained expression before slowly beginning to creep away.

but it’s then when you hear a surge of footsteps filling your ears, your eyes widening, and you grip onto your dress before making a run.

“hey! get back here!”

“catch her!”

so, you run, you run as if your dogs are chasing you, as if your mother has found out what you’re doing late out at night dressed to get sick. or how your father would immediately blow up on you and the thought of getting into trouble, but that was on the last of your mind.

you’re running down the street, injured at the ankle, in your jimmy choo’s while a group of men run after you. you know they are holding weapons because you looked over your shoulder and it made you run even faster.

the cold wind slaps your face, makes your eyes watery and pushes your hair back as the road becomes downhill, your mouth begins to spew out curse words and screams that you hope make the men run away because you know only a god can save you from this.

“h-hey!” you scream, thinking you’d have a wise conversation with the group of guys who only seem to roar even louder and it’s at this point that your ankle begins to burn, and your eyes begin to tear up from the cold wind. “you don’t know who i am!”

“we don’t care!”

you cry out, “my father runs the mafia!”

“if your dad runs the mafia, my dad is tom cruise!” you hear one of them yell and you quicken your speed.

you frown as you run, “what the fuck!?”

“get her!”

the street gets darker and darker but with the semi-working streetlights, you’re able to make out stores and houses around you. neon signs of sketchy restaurants where they sell alcohol for a dollar (you obviously knew, because you tried), or small departmental stores lining the streets.

you’re running so fast, that a crowd of people don’t stop you. you push past them in an attempt to lose the men, but they seem to have found you no matter what, it’s then when you see a man walk out a local 7/11.

your first instinct is to wave, but when the man turns around. eyes on the ground, hand holding a white bag and not a care in the world.

you think you’re about to lose him, until it takes everything in you to scream. “hey!” loud enough for the man to turn around and when he does. you wish you never screamed; you wish you never sneaked out of your room.

because the last thing you expect on a friday night is to be caught by your bodyguard.

“i’m, i’ll just be going straight to sleep seonghwa!”

“have a goodnight, ma’am.”

“god no,” you whisper, half happy that you found him, and half scared shitless. “shit.”

as you’re nearing him, your body automatically begins to slow down. and once you do, you’re standing right in front of him. breathing heavily and swallowing as your throat dried.

“t-this is not how it looks like-“ you look back, seeing the men beginning to slow down as they approach you and him. “-i promise!”

“what’s going on?” he speaks and for the first time you hear him without his uptight vocabulary that doesn’t consist of ma’am’s or sir’s.

“i thought you were asleep?” he raises an eyebrow, and you look at him up and down, clad in a black hoodie with matching sweats. you think you like him better this way.

“i…i thought i was too,” you chuckle, humourlessly and awkwardly.

“hey!”

you two turn around at the loud yell and you take a step back, “i-it’s a long story-“ you swallow, coming to stand closer to him as seonghwa take a step forward. “-i’ll explain the rest later!”

seonghwa gives you a blank stare, raising an eyebrow and you just know he’s shooting you in his mind. “are you hurt?”

you blink, “huh?”

he looks back at the men, “are you hurt, ma’am?” and then looks at your blinking eyes.

you shake your head slowly, “no,” he then hands you the white bag he held prior, and you look at him with a frown. “…..are you doing what i’m thinking you’re about to do?”

you take the bag from, and he nods. “i’m doing exactly what you’re thinking.”

you grip the bag tighter, pulling your lips into a determined grin and raising your hands into fists to urge him on. “….we’re running right?”

he looks over his shoulder before snorting, “i’m going to go do my job.” he then points at you. “stay here.”

“you’re not on-“

“oi you two!” you snap your eyes at the men in front, hand on their waists and bored expressions on their faces. “if you’re done talking, get her here, we’ve got some business to finish!”

you blink, feeling your heartbeat take a sudden increase as you hold the bag tighter. “don’t worry about it ma’am, i can handle this.” with that he begins to walk towards them, and you panic when your eyes flash at the guns and knives they held.

as quick as your mouth opened to yell, it zipped even quicker when seonghwa’s back comes to blind you from those in front. you hear groans and curses being thrown at seonghwa who stares at them blankly, inhaling before lifting his hand up. motioning them to come forward with two of his fingers.

and then it felt like a blur when seonghwa raised his fist and smashed it in the man’s jaw, your mouth drops at the sight. instinctively holding your own jaw as if you felt the pain, eyes widening as you stare at the scene in front of you.

one vs at-least seven.

with the way seonghwa’s elbow jabs in their ribs, strong punches to their jaws and kicks to their stomach your mouth is left hung open. it felt as if you were watching a live action movie, maybe even a boxing match.

your eyes follow seonghwa’s every move, the way his eyes turn into slits. hair moving with every punch he makes, the groans from his mouth and the movement of his muscle. you can’t help but gawk at him.

from the way he rolled his hoodie up to his elbow, showcasing the ink he’s got that stops just before it goes above his elbow. swirls of art that you’re so entranced by that you totally blind side the fact that seonghwa’s yelling for you.

“ma’am!”

you quickly snap out of your thoughts and look for where you’re hearing his voice, once you do your eyes widen. “hey!” you yell, seeing seonghwa in a rear chokehold. two of the men holding him down while one of them begins to walk towards you.

you take a step back, gripping the bag to your chest with wide eyes while seonghwa yells at you from the back. “y-your shoes!”

you frown, holding the bag tighter as you yell back. “what shoes?! where!”

“your shoes! use them!”

“to hit him?!”

“yes!”

you give him a look, “my jimmy choo’s!?”

he nods and you stare at him with an unreadable face before he yells for you again, “you can buy more!”

you swallow, looking down at your shoes that you know you can’t buy more. but even so, you put the bag away, take your shoes off. hold the heel side up, raising both your hands up before yelling and running towards the herd.

barefoot, in a leather jacket and fighting some goons with heels was something straight out of a romcom. on a friday night, you expect yourself to be with your friends and not smacking heels into people’s chests.

“i’m so sorry, this is gonna hurt-“ you yank the heel down and hear a loud groan and it has you shivering. “i told you this will hurt!”

for a few minutes you keep doing what seonghwa has told you, heel after heel you’ve left them with wounds that ooze fresh blood and just the sight of it makes you grim.

you think you two are set to go but then the men begin to gather around you two in a circle, your back finds itself attached to seonghwa’s.

broken heels in hands, the ribbon design on them falling somewhere along with way whole the structure is completely damaged.

“now…” you inhale, swallowing as you stare at their angry faces. “what do we do now?”

“do you know how to fight?”

you pause, biting your lower lip in frustration.  “no, i..never learned.”

he says nothing but stands straighter, “i’m going to pick you up,” your head snaps to him.

“what?” you whisper, eyeing the man standing in front of you. who, with his injuries still manages to stand.

“by the waist,” he continues, eyeing the others on his side. “use your feet to kick them while i spin you.”

“this is insane,” he hears you say and smiles a bit before replying, “this is what we do for living.”

“can’t we just run?” you ask, looking around the road to see ample amount of space to run.

“it’s not easy,” he replies, “if this gets to your father..that is.”

you turn around on instinct, “right.” and then glare at the men. “do it then, i’m sure we’ve both got places to be.”

he spares no second and turns you around, hooking his arms under your armpits before hoisting you up. “kick!” he yells, and you do as he says, eyes shut tight and legs kicking while he spins you around.

you’re so sure you hear a faded snort coming from seonghwa while you’re hitting arms and chests and faces that when he puts you down, he makes sure your jacket is still on and that your balance remains as you collapse in his arms.

when your eyes land on the ground, a sigh leaves your lips at the sight. hearing groans and curses being spewed while a few of them tried to drag themselves away, your eyes then snap to your shoes only to see them ruined.

your jaw drops and your first instinct is to go and grab them, but instead seonghwa snakes his arm around your waist and swoops you to his towering front. your hands fall flat against his chest, eyes widening at what he was doing that is until you realize he had his foot on a man’s hand.

the hand that was reaching for your ankle, you swallow and look up at seonghwa. “..we’re good, right?”

he looks down and your eyes immediately lock, staring into them directly for the first time and not only did it bring a sudden burst of butterflies in your stomach but made your heart stop for a quick second.

but that only lasts for a moment before he pulls away abruptly, “yes ma’am.” you nod slowly, eyes finding the ground.

you tip toe your way across the groaning bodies to grab into the broken pieces of your heels, and then turning around to see seonghwa waiting for you by the side.

you take a quick look at your surroundings before walking towards him, the cold cement road under your bare feet making you shiver. once you’re in front of him, he nods and quietly gestures you to follow him.

and you do, hugging your jacket around you tighter. you walk behind him, eyes on his taller and built frame. one hand holding the white bag, where you could spot redness on his knuckles while the other was tucked in his pocket.

“..i’m so sorry i got you involved into this,” you begin as your eyes catch a glimpse of the bruises on his knuckles.

“i thought you were asleep, ma’am.”

you sigh, closing your eyes before nodding. “i-i had to go to this party..” you mumble, “so i snuck out.”

“from the front gates?” he asks, tone normal and not accusatory of any sorts. “and past the dogs?”

you shake your head, “from the window actually…and past the dogs.”

he nods, impressed before his eyes find themselves staring at the ground. instinctively glancing at your feet and then it occurs to him, “you’re hurt, ma’am.” he whispers, eyeing the slight redness at your ankle and the cuts and dirt you’ve got wrapped around them.

you stare at your feet as you keep walking, “they don’t hurt actually,” you smile. “feels nice to walk bare feet on the cold ground.”

“we should sit down,” he urges, a slight panic in his tone. “you’re limping ma’am.”

you turn to look at him, eyes falling over the hair that hovers over his forehead. “stop calling me that.” you say, lowly as you keep your eyes fixated on him. “y/n, call me that at least when we’re alone.”

he says nothing but presses his lips in a line before looking ahead and pointing straight, “there’s a bench right there, we should at least get you seated.”

you sigh before nodding, quickly checking your phone for time and the messages from kai before putting it back into your pocket and following him.

you sit at a normal distance away from him, or more like he did. once you’re sat, your surroundings are a quiet bliss, the cold night wind and the makeshift roof of leaves above your head, it felt calming.

the night was one full of stars, you look down at your feet. watching the shadows being created by the streetlight that shines on you but especially on seonghwa. when you turn your face to look at him, half of his face is illuminated by the light while the other casts a darker shadow.

as the silence begins to heavy in, you decide to break it with a request you hope he agrees too. “please don’t tell my dad about this seonghwa,” your bite down on your lower lip. “he won’t let me out again.”

“why would he do that ma’am?” he responds, and you swallow. “i believe he should know, and it is my duty to document everything to him so-“

“can you stop with the unnecessary fancy words!” you cry out and turn to him. “you are not going to tell my father about any of this.”

“but m-“

you raise an eyebrow, “you’re not.”

“but why not?” he frowns, fiddling with the bag in his hand.

“because…” you start, eyes looking left and right. “because…you’re my friend, yeah!”

he gives you a quick stare, “but, ma’am i’m not all-“

you cut him off by scooting closer and placing an arm on his shoulder, with a eyebrow raise. “you are now my best friend.” you nod, “and as childish as this sounds, best friends don’t tell each other’s secrets to anyone right?”

he pauses to blink twice before nodding slowly and you smile, “good!” you pat his shoulder.

“so, we should consider this a deal-“ you bring your hand out for him to shake and he looks at you then at your hand accessorized in rings. “-right?”

he sighs audibly and you grin, knowing he’s given up. “thank you so much seonghwa!” with a quick assuring pat and a smile you pull back into silence that is until he speaks.

“y..you don’t have that party to go to?” he mumbles, eyes on the bag he held between his legs. you, pull your legs up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them.

“it’s a little too late now,” you know your phone’s being ambushed by messages form kai mainly him begging, but you rather— can’t help but like this a little more.

he says nothing again and instead fiddles through his bag; your eyes follow his movements until they pause on what you think is ice cream.

he looks over at you and you lock eyes, “you must be hungry,” you tilt your head just a little for your hair to move with it. “..ice cream?”

he holds out a squished pack of ice cream which makes you raise an eyebrow, “it’s a little…deformed?” he squeaks, and you hide a smile before reaching out to take it from his hands.

“thank you seonghwa.” you mumble, and he smiles a little, then gives a small nod and it’s when you notice his hair falling over his eyes.

“your welcome, ma-“

“y/n.”

he looks at you and you mirror him, in fact, you change your position to face him. legs in a criss cross with your jacket being a makeshift blanket on them so that you don’t flash anything, anytime soon.

“my names y/n,” you repeat, taking the wrapper off the ice cream. “i’ve told this multiple times, and i’ll say it again. call me y/n when we’re both alone.”

he nods, “okay…” he hesitates, staring at you as if you were going to speak. but when you don’t, he finally says it even if it feels as if he’s struggling and you don’t know why. “y/n.”

you break out into a smile, “now that we are on first name basis,” you extend your hand out, as if pointing between him and you. “we should get to know each other better, right? for better…uhh-“

“relationship?”

you snap your fingers, “yes that! i’ll go first,”

he smiles, “of course.”

“hi, i’m y/n.” you begin, voice a tone lower to match the quietness. “and i’m currently in a uni? i go out at night because my father doesn’t let me in the day,” he snorts, and you smile. “i’m also! not as snobby as you think.”

“i’ve never thought of you as snobby ma’am,” he says, licking at the ice cream before continuing. “just…picky?”

you grin, “that i am or maybe i just have fine taste?” a round of chuckle leaves you two. “what about you, tell me about you seonghwa.”

“what do you want to know?”

“well, i just know the professional you-“ you pause to lick the ice cream, “the macho, mr smith style assassin! but what’s under all of that?” you wiggle your eyebrows. “a different story?”

he looks down with a smile as you watch him with a curious gaze, “i’m just a simple man doing a simple job.”

you raise an eyebrow, “simple job?” he nods, and you narrow your eyes. “i’ve never heard a simple man having a job at a mafia house?”

he bites down on his lower lip before shaking his head, “how’d you end up working for my father?” you ask, and he looks at the ice cream.

“your father actually met me when i was at my worst,” he begins, and you tilt your head.

“what?”

he lifts his head up to look right at you, “i escaped italy once…illegally, your father helped me out with it entirely.” you notice the way he smiles at that. “he became someone who gave me a shelter and in return i worked for him.”

“sounds heroic.” you whisper, an impressed smile on your face that it makes him laugh a little. “you escaped, why?”

you hear him inhale audibly and it makes you swallow before looking up at the sky, “you don’t have to tell me, that’s fine, somethings should be ke-“

“someone was out to kill me.”

your eyes widen, “what?!” your jaw hangs, processing everything that he’s saying. “h-how did you get away? i’ve heard once italian’s mark something to kill, they will.”

you scoot closer, “..how did you escape them?”

he looks at your wide curious eyes and before even thinking it through, he says it all. “i killed him.”

he watches your jaw drop at that and for a moment he thinks he’s fucked up, which rightfully so, but when you say something, it makes his eyes widen in surprise. “you killed,” you lean closer to whisper, “an italian mafia guy?”

you then bring your hands up to clap slowly with an impressed face, “how haven’t you gotten a movie made on you? that’s crazy, they should title it ‘mission impossible: italy chronicles!’ you’d give tom cruise a run for his money!”

“are you not surprised?” he asks, slightly confused at your enthusiasm over starring him in a movie and not the fact that he killed someone.

“hm?” you pause and then smile a little.

“are you not surprised or scared that i told you i just killed someone?” he repeats, eyeing your rather calm expression.

“seonghwa,” you inhale, shuffling with the jacket before looking at him. “i’ve grown up in this environment involuntarily…i’m used to the killing’s and everything that happens in a group because i have to be, i-i someday have to run this yeah? even if i don’t want to, i have to get used to it.”

“you don’t seem like you want to do anything with your dad’s job,” he murmurs, and you nod, looking down at the jacket as your hand comes to play with the sleeve. “not interested?”

“nope,” you sigh, “i’ve never associated myself with the type of work my dad does, never learnt how to fight or do anything that ties me to that world.”

you then glance at him, “and i don’t plan to anytime soon, but i know i have to one day whether i like it or not-“ you stand up abruptly and he watches you for a quick second. “maybe one day i’ll stop this mafia, who knows?”

he says nothing but nods, knowing the situation won’t change if he says anything. “thanks for the ice cream though,” you change the topic, holding the ice cream cone as if it were a wine glass.

imitating the great gatsby scene where leonardo holds the glass up with a smirk, “and i hope you keep the promise, best friend.” with a small smile, you gather your belongings before waving him a small bye.

but it’s not even a second later that he stops you, “y/n,” you look back, eyebrow raised slightly. “where are you going at this hour?”

“home.”

“you’re walking?” you nod, “but you’re hurt, i’ll get a tax- shit, taxis don’t work at this hour.” he stands up and you blink.

“i’ll walk you home,”

your hands immediately fly up in the air, “no! no! that’s fine, i can walk, it’s just a small walk back home and you’re probably really tired and hurt so i don-“

“-do you always talk this much?” he cuts you off and you smile sheepishly.

“yes,” you immediately respond, holding your jacket close to your chest. “you don’t?”

“they should keep you in a museum, you know?”

you grin, “they should, people will pay to see me, sounds fun.”

he looks down and lets out a breathy chuckle, “i’ll walk you home, it’s dark o-“

“you’re off job s-“

“ma’am.” you raise your eyebrow slightly, “a bodyguard is never off duty, so please, let me walk you home.”

you glance at him with a small smile, eyes searching his face as if he’d say something else but when he doesn’t, you nod. “okay then mr bodyguard, walk me home safely.”

when he stands up, the two of you begin walking back to your place. you barefoot, his knuckles bleeding, chasing, and fighting down goons all on a friday night. you turn to look at his side profile and feel warmth fill your gut before you look ahead.

your eyes then go to your bare feet before your eyes widen. “what about my jimmy choo’s?” you ask in the quiet street, a chill in the air as streetlights far away shine bright.

“i’m sure you can buy new ones, isn’t that right ma’am?”

“those were vintage..”

“they always have better ones!” he mumbles, giving you a quick glance.

“..they were my mom’s.”

“they what.”

“so,” you begin, eyeing your dark and scary mansions that had a red-light beam at the very top, on a dome-like roof.  “how do we get back inside?”

you hear seonghwa inhale from beside you and you look at him with a raised eyebrow and hunched shoulders, his jacket wrapped around them tightly as you tried to keep yourself warm.

“do you know the safety system in your house?” he asks, eyes raking the mansion before he steps closer to quietly open the iron gates.

your eyes follow him, “…i think so?” you respond in a mumble. “dads never mentioned it to me explicitly but like i know what he’s up to like, half the time.”

“great,” he turns around, leaning on the gates. “you’re going to help us get in.” he nods, like the ones guys at parties do when they see someone from their element.

you raise an eyebrow, shifting your weight on one foot before speaking. “aren’t you supposed to my bodyguard?”

“and aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” he retorts and watches you pause.

you blink, then nod. “point.” and walk closer to him, squinting at your own house as if it were a mission to cross. eyes narrowing over the trimmed shrubbery with bright flowers that seemed to have blended with the night, adding onto the chilling appearance of your home.

“so according to my dad,” you put your face up against the iron gates, squishing your cheeks on the rails. “there’s a laser security system when you first enter the house- wait but how do you not know this!”

he shakes his head while still looking ahead, “that’s because i don’t stay here, i know the blueprints but i stay there-“ he points at the right of the mansion, and your eyes follow his finger. “at the guard quarters, the security system there is mild.”

“why?"

“because we are the security there.”

you nod with an impressed pout, “huh, no wonder i had never seen you around.”

“i’m your dad’s personal security, i’m usually in his office.” he whispers, leaning a little closer to you. “not around a lot.”

your eyes then land on the area you’ve never stepped a foot in. “is the bodyguard quarters cool?” it’s like a smaller version of your place, yet you spot more class in it with way its architecture looks despite it being rarely visible.

he tilts his head and chuckles a little, “cool? yes, it is.”

you then look at him with a frown, “why do you talk like this?” he pauses. “you sound like a professor more than a bodyguard, are you in cahoots’ with my prof?”

“no,” he answers quickly and hesitantly raises his hand to poke your forehead, your eyes widen, and you look at him who avoids your eyes immediately. “t-the security system, we need to get in before it’s too late.”

you hide a smile and nod before beginning to explain, “when we first enter, there’s a red laser security. once we pass that and go up the stairs, the hallways have small traps all around that can identify the smallest of sounds-“

“-and intruders.” he mumbles before tapping the front gates, “and have you been trained for this?”

“me?” you point at yourself, “absolutely not.”

you hear him sigh audibly, “what will you do when you have to learn all of this? to fight to plan and to be competent enough to take your father’s place?”

“i’ve got you here, so that should be fine.” you hum, and he blinks twice. “right? now let’s go in!”

you open the gates first, cautiously while he follows suit. it’s quiet, eerily quiet. you think everyone’s fallen asleep, so you turn to ask seonghwa what time it was, “it’s two.”

you nod and walk towards the front entrance; body bent a little to keep out of anyone’s hide and to hide in the shadows. while seonghwa follows without doing the unnecessary things you’re doing.

once you’re in front of the gates, you stop and fish into your jacket pocket in an attempt to find your spare keys. “we could just climb your window..”

“there’s no ladder there!” you whisper loudly, immediately clamping a hand on your mouth before quietly inserting the key in the lock and testing it slowly. “also, it’s more fun this way.”

once you hear the quiet and short and satisfying noise of the tall door unlocking, you look over your shoulder and gesture for seonghwa to follow you inside.

“my job was to walk you home ma’am,” he whispers, “i don’t think i should go in-“

but before he even finishes the sentence, you take a hole of his wrists and pull him in locking the door behind you immediately.

“i don’t think this is a good idea ma’am…” you hear him whisper and you look over your shoulder, scanning the foyer.

“why are you so scared? it’s not like my dad will kill you, geez,” you sigh, looking around the big plants that scare you because they look eerily similar to people in your house.

“if he recognizes m-“

your tongue hits the roof of your mouth at that, “he can’t even differentiate between me and my brother in the mornings, so don’t worry-“

before you even get the chance to finish your phrase, there’s a loud knock coming from the stairs right above the chandelier. the sound alone makes you and seonghwa panic and run to hide behind the large plant your mom begged to have.

“you know,” seonghwa inhales, swallowing as he looks around. “your dad can actually kill me.”

you click your tongue, again. “you’re scared for nothing.” and walk ahead but he stays, shaking his head because he knows what the circumstances can be.

when you look back to see him standing there looking at the ground, you sigh and walk back towards him. holding your hand out to him which makes him look at you, you nod towards your hand. “hold it.”

“w-why?” he asks, throat drying as he looks around the place.

you frown, “do you want my dad to find out?” he shakes his head. “so then, hold my hand and i’ll make sure no one finds out.”

you shake your hand at him with a grin that has him narrowing his eyes, but he knows he’s got no other option. because the only person who can save him from your father is you, and if that means you’ll take him under the wing for one day. he doesn’t mind.

so, with that, he hesitantly holds your hand, swallowing as you grip on it tightly before yanking him away.

he follows you down the hallway, holding your hand tighter with every step as his heartbeat begins to skip beats. eyes wandering the quiet rooms that otherwise are bright and loud, now terrify him with each step.  

“ma’am, where’s the laser security?” he asks, and you pause right after, swallowing and pointing ahead.

“there,” you mumble, biting your lower lip as you take in the bright red lasers, bright neon red lines parallel to each other. “if we pass this, we’re good to go.”

he nods and then looks at you, “do you know how to do this?”

you grin, “of course,” as fast as you left his hand, he holds onto it faster. stopping you from going forward immediately.

“what’re you doing?!” he whispers, and you point at the lasers.

“passing the lasers? like how they do in the movies?” you say, tone matter-of-factly and he raises his eyebrow.

he pulls you back to him, your side hitting his towering front by surprise. “this isn’t the movies y/n.” you straighten up at the use of your name. “we can get killed, maybe not you, but i can.”

you look at him, “i don’t pay you enough to get killed.”

he smirks, “your father does.” before you retaliate, he puts a finger up to his lips, shushing you before holding your hand and walking on the other side. “follow me.”

he walks you around the stairs, completely away from the lasers— okay maybe not completely because you two did have to duck down quite a few times. but once that was left behind, you were surprised at his tactics.

impressed at his calm demeanor you follow right behind him, mouth shut and eyes on his back. your eyes then land on the hand he’s holding and smile.

“hey seo-“

in a matter of seconds, you’re pushed to the cold wall behind, you know it’s the wall with the way you hear frames rattle a bit. seonghwa’s larger hand covering your mouth as he leaned in, covering you fully and engulfing you in his warm scent while staring into your wide eyes with his sharper ones.

“don’t talk.” he says lowly, noticing the way your eyes blink. “got it?”

you nod repeatedly, eyes searching his face up close. from the bridge of his nose to his fuller lips and then back to his sharp eyes that look to your right. studying the shape of his eye and the long lashes that touch the area of cheek right under his eye, it makes you swallow just at the sight of him.

you don’t make a noise when he makes you move without ever physically holding you, though it’s difficult and makes you confused you follow him either way. the small tapping of your feet and his shoes make the faintest noise, which makes him afraid that you’ll get caught.

“can you walk a little less loudly?” he whispers in your ear and you, first, take one second to feel the shiver run down your spine and two, feel your heart skip a beat.

you then frown, bringing his hand down from your mouth and wrapping it around your waist. he immediately pulls back with wide eyes, “what’re you doing?” he whispers, and you take his other hand and put it around your waist.

“you want me to walk quietly, the only way i can do that if i walk on my tippy toes-“

“what does that gotta do with holding you!-“

“sssh!” you whisper and look everywhere before continuing, “if we match our rhythm, less sound and we won’t get caught.”

“that’s…”

you grin, “genius, i know-“

“-so stupid.”

you face drops, “eyy, come on, you spoilsport!” you whisper. “you just have to hold me, it’s not like that’s a crime!”

he leans in to be face-to-face with you, “in this house, it is.” and raises his eyebrow as you stare him down, long enough for him to sigh and you smile.

“come on, mr park!” you mumble and lean forward. “i’m not even that bad.”

you say before extending both your hands out to him, he pauses and sighs. thinking about all the shit he can get for doing this before throwing his head back, defeatedly placing his hand on yours which you quickly move to your waist.

“hold on tight,” you whisper before looking towards the hallway, “make a noise and we’re done for the night.”

“we’re gonna get caught,” he whispers halfway through, hands neatly wrapped around your waist as you two matched steps as if doing a partner dance at your father’s extravagant gala’s he likes to hold.

“you’re just scared.”

“no,” he immediately refutes, looking you into the eye. “i’m scared i’ll be fired or even worse, killed.”

or even worser, disappoint your father.

you shake your head, then raise your hand to his chest and pat it twice. “then i’ll save you.” as if that’ll make a difference he thinks.

he shakes his head, knowing exactly who will save who and who will get who in trouble. it’s not that he’s scared of dying, he’s scared of disappointing your father’s faith in him. the man who gave him everything he couldn’t ever get; he can’t jeopardize his trust.

but when he looks down at you, your eyebrows scrunched up as your eyes narrow and look ahead. he can’t help but think that if he protects you, he won’t disappoint your father. if he fulfils your every demand, he won’t be jeopardizing anything.

it’s what he hopes in the end.  

he walks with you in silence, ears perking up at the slightest of a crack or squeak that makes him grip your dress tighter as if ready to push you behind him to take cover. but instead, none of that happens, the two of your make your way towards your room in peace.

the silence over you two was deafening and you did nothing to break it, that is until you’re in your room. back to your door and eyes on seonghwa, “so.” you whisper, watching his hesitation.

he nods slowly, “so..” he pauses. “i think i should go-“

“-at this time?” you cut him off, locking the door behind before walking to him and he instinctively backs up. “isn’t this more fun? just you and me alone in the room?”

you watch the way his eyes widen, and you bite back a smile, “m-ma’-“

“god, i was just joking.” you laughed, eyeing his surprised face and eyes that blinked repeatedly. “sit down,” you point at the couch behind him. “i’ll go get the first aid box.”

“that’s-“ he says out loud but immediately stops himself, “..that’s not necessary, ma’am.”

you ignore him and walk away towards your bathroom, leaving him standing alone in the middle of your room. he hesitates to move but does it anyway, eyes looking around the room and he realizes it’s the first time he’s stepped in the room of anyone he works for. 

he didn’t expect it to be so soon or even at all, but he smiles a little and shakes his head. eyes searching the room and he notices the amount of colour patterned clothes you have hanging around; he expected your room to be big and uninviting but it’s the exact opposite. 

warm, a little big and cozy. he smiles to himself as he begins to walk to the bookshelf just behind him, looking at the photo frames where you and your family were present. he lifts a hand to run his fingers on the shelf gently while looking at your childhood photos.

from where he sees his boss, your dad in one of the frames. holding a younger you, who was dressed in a pink tutu. he smiles again, only ever seeing his boss with a stoic face that rarely cracks a grin legitimately smile. he then looks at you, eyes shut as you grinned from ear to ear holding a little trophy.

he then looks at the frame behind it, where you stood alone. older now, maybe in your teens. he remembers this one, the dress specifically.

it was when he had joined newly, he was told you were his only daughter, and he couldn’t help but peek outside to see you— not like a creep but because everyone was looking their boss getting scolded by you.

it was a rare sight to see, but it’s one he remembers the most.

just when he’s about to look ahead, you come walking in. startling him in the way, he scrambles to his feet and looks at you as if he got caught stealing something.

you blink, “you can sit down!” you usher him over to the couch. eyes following him hurrying to take a seat before you join and sit in front of him on the table.

once he’s sat, you raise your eyebrows and extend both your hands. “hands.” you mumble in the emptiness of your room where only a lamp was lit in the far corner.

he looks at you and blinks twice, “ma’-“

“-y/n.”

“y-y/n,” he begins and you’re already reaching for his hands. “it’s fine you don’t have to do this-“

“-and why not?” you cut him off, scowling and he hesitantly pulls his hand back. but before that even happens, you pull his hands back into your lap. “you’re bleeding at your knuckles!”

he looks down at his hands, eyeing the dried blood on his hand and the way your hold on him is so gentle. the first he’s ever experience.

“i’m used to it.”

“well not on my watch,” and you begin to nurse his wound, whispering to yourself about how much blood’s been dripping and how he’s not worried about his wound. “as long as you’re my bodyguard, i don’t give you the permission to get hurt.”

he says nothing and you continue to nurse him until you realize the man doesn’t even make a noise, a squeak, or a hiss in pain. you look up with wide eyes, “is your hand numb?!”

“no?” he answers, looking at his hand and then at you.

“then why..” you scoot closer, “how are you not making a noise in pain?”

“i told you, i’m used to it.” he replies, and you narrow your eyes. he then leans forward to match your stance, narrowing his eyes he continues. “i’ve gotten worse injuries, this is nothing.”

“yeah? enlighten me.”

his features change with the way he smirks, “broke my ribs, both arms, one leg.” he pauses to recall, catching your expression while doing so. “number of concussions and bull-“

“okay okay!” you give up and he smiles a little. “i don’t care how bad you were injured,” you poke his hand, “an injury is an injury. and you’re hurting i just know-“

“-no i’m not.” he says, eyes still on you.

you smile, a little strained. “yeah?” you begin to wrap the bandage around his hand. “yes, you are.”

“no, i’m not.”

you wrap it tighter, “yes.”

“no.” he stares right back.

“yes.” you wrap it again, watching his lip twitch.

but he acts as if nothing hurts, “i’m still good,” he then points at his hand. “you can wrap it tighter.”

“gosh,” you whisper, knotting the bandage before giving him his hand back and falls back  on the couch with a smirk.

but he’s quick to regain his posture, hands going down to grab your ankle and place it on his knee. “h-hey!” you yell but he immediately puts a hand to your mouth.

“you’re going to wake them up,” he whispers, and you nod slowly, then look at him holding your ankle. “guess who’s also injured.”

“unlike me,” he brings his hand down and hooks his finger on the box before dragging it closer to him. “you’re not used to this.”

he hums, “correct?” and looks at you as he separates the cotton.

“correct.”

he nods, “which also means you’ll be in pain, correct?”

“a lot.”

he raises an eyebrow, “yeah?”

“hm, i have low pain tolerance.” you mumble as he begins to nurse around your ankle, wincing whenever he dabs the cotton too harshly.

“how will you run your dad’s business if your tolerance is low?” he asks, gently brushing his fingers over your ankle.

you smile, “see…that’s not my plan,” and then hiss. “and if i were to one day…you’ll be there, right?”

he smiles stiffly, “of course, it’s my job to be your right-hand man after all.” he then places your leg down gently before holding the other one up.

“then you better be there for everything,” you say, “don’t miss anything, don’t die and absolutely do not get injured.”

“yes ma’am.”

silence then falls over you two, just him carefully holding your ankle while you watch his hands skillfully wrap the bandage, it makes you wonder just how many times he’s done this. occasionally finding yourself staring at his face when he asked a question rather than responding.

it makes you snort internally at how at first you thought seonghwa was never going to talk to you, be civil and extremely formal to now where he’s more comfortable and warming up.

“thank you.”

he lifts his head up slowly, “…for what?”

you point your finger at your feet, “for that and for beating the guys up and uh, sorry for eating your ice cream and! for dragging you in here!”

he smiles a little and you’ve come to like it when he smiles, even if that’s the only thing he’ll do. “your welcome, ma’am.”

“i had a question,” he suddenly asks, and you beam at his request. “go on!”

he then places your leg down gently before pointing behind you, towards the bookshelf. “that photo there,” you turn around to follow his finger. “with your father.”

“ah,” you hum, glancing at the photo and remembering the moment it was taken. “it was my first ballet recital,” your eyes fall on the pink tutu your dad gifted you. “way before this whole mafia thing started, my dad was a small lawyer.”

you turn to him, “you must know.” and he nods. “business was never good where he worked and we could at times, barely afford a dinner. sometimes i think this mafia thing started because he wanted to gift me a pink tutu.”

he snorts, looking at you with a fond stare. “how come?” he asks, “i heard he took a loan and then was fraudulently framed and jailed.”

you nod, “that’s right, he has a grudge against the insiders of the justice system. so, the only better thing he could think of was,” you smile, “to rule it.”

“and now he controls the insiders the way he wants,” seonghwa adds and you nod. “so, it really started because of your tutu?”

“a man can do anything,” you lean forward till your facing him. “to make his daughter happy.”

he tilts his head and raises his eyebrow, “then that same man can kill me, for his daughter.”

you mirror his expression impressively, “and that daughter can stop him.” you bite down on your lip, “hm?”

he smiles, the one where his teeth show and looks down to laugh a little. his hair falling over his eyes and it makes your heart skip a beat, “thank you.”

you turn your head to the side, “for?” you mumble. “putting you in danger?”

“for fixing my wounds and saving me from your dad, but.”

“but?” you raise your eyebrow and then to glance at him softly.

“but next time there’s a party,” he fiddles with the bandage before looking up. “ask me to join so this won’t happen again.”

“you got it.”

“do you like those seonghwa?”  

you ask, pointing your finger at a wallet he’s been eyeing ever since he stepped into the store with you.

ever since the night he walked you home, the two of you have been looking eerily suspicious according to your father who narrowed his eyes the second you two walk in any room.

the eyes of your parents would watch your every move whenever seonghwa was in the room, and you let them. casually chatting with seonghwa in front of them even if he doesn’t respond, though you know he answers through his eyes.

or the fact that he follows you to your uni every day, waits outside or sits by you (always offers to keep his jacket on your seat so you don’t have to sit on anything dirty), opens the car doors for you, offers you his arm for walking purposes, stands with his back to you when you’re getting out of the car and even shares a word with kyle over pens. 

which you know kyle likes involuntarily. sometimes he excuses himself and walks out halfway in class, which turns out he does to get the best table at the cafeteria.

where you two sit down and talk, well mostly just you. he listens to you blabber without interfering or objecting, pushing sandwiches your way whenever he thinks you need one more.

to when you were struggling to catch up to your teacher’s pace, hands focusing on notes while your eyes settled on the screen. but it felt as if you couldn’t understand anything and when panic arose in you, you hesitantly looked around for someone to give you notes.

raising your hand anxious but when no avail, you looked at seonghwa who already seemed to have raised his hand.

“seo-“

“professor,” his deep voice rang the classroom of four hundred people. “could you please repeat the section you just went over?”

your wide eyes staring at him as your heartbeat began to speed up, he who didn’t even spare you glance but instead looked down at his lap as if listening to the lecture. “oh, sure!”

or when he almost slapped a classmate of yours for taunting you and you had it physically pull seonghwa away from him.

or when you were getting ready for an event your father had forced you to where seonghwa would not look at you in the eye no matter what, except stand right beside you whenever you talked to anyone.

even if it meant staying through the boring small talks or forced arrange marriage offers thrown your way which, then, seonghwa would interfere in by standing in-front of you.

“unfortunately, we won’t accept any offers of arrange marriages for miss y/n.”  

and if they were to put a hand on you, or even do the mere action of reaching it seonghwa would already tower over them and firmly tell them to back off.

“put your hands on her even once, we’ll have consequences to face.” and tap the others cheek, a little harshly.

all while you watched from behind his shoulder, making remarks to fire seonghwa up whenever he’d reject any offers (that your father told him to), “yeah! what he said!”  

so now when you two sneakily snuck out right after your class to a mall, he’s been nothing but extremely protective of you. always walking behind you, hands coming to shield you if anyone’s about to remotely bump into you or have his hand on his holster at any given moment.

he turns around, “no ma’am, we’re here for you.” and you look around, eyeing the signature hermès pattern everywhere in the store.

colorful clothes adorning opposite walls and a large glass table with a display of wallets and watches and bracelets. salespeople standing with their hands in front of them with pleasant smiles on their faces, though you know most are directed towards seonghwa which makes you snort.

“you can buy anything you want seonghwa,” and before he opens his mouth, you raise your hand. “i’m paying.”

he shakes his head immediately and frantically, looking around the expensive store before inhaling. “that’s alright ma’am,” he taps his watch, “we should get going before it’s too late.”  

with that he walks away, leaving you standing with a grin. you look around the chic store, making eye contact with a salesperson before tapping on the wallet and nodding. you repeat the action every time you spot him staring at an item for too long.

once you’re done, he carries your bags in both his hands. sunglasses on and walking back to your car while you stare at his back with a smirk before walking towards him.

he opens the car door for you, you walk closer until you’re right in front of him. “thank you seonghwa.” he smiles before slowly getting back in the car and driving off.

“y/n,”

the blanket of silence that falls over the entire living room at the sound of your father’s voice sends a chill down your spine, making you shift in your seat entirely.

“yes, dad.”

you look up, eyes falling on the addressed man raising his eyebrow as his one leg is on top of the other. dressed in the finest of expensive fabrics, a well-trimmed beard and two stripes of grey in his hair that he calls a ‘fashion statement’ after watching the housewives of beverly hills.

you’ve come to take him as a joke, but when he uses that tone, you know it’s not your father speaking but in fact the man who runs a whole intel of rings.

“where were you last week, friday,” you chew on your inner lip, eyes on your lap eyeing the neat manicure before answering. “at night specifically.”

“i-in my room dad,” there’s a tremble in your voice that he catches on quickly, he looks up and turns his head to the side. staring at seonghwa who looked straight, never making eye contact with anyone.

“seonghwa,”

the man stiffens upon his name, standing tall before bending at his waist. “yes, sir.”

“where was y/n?” he asks the same question and you turn to look at seonghwa, praying internally that he doesn’t spill the beans because you’d be in a lot of trouble.

“i’-“

“dad!” you quickly cut seonghwa off, “how would seonghwa know, he wasn’t even here on that day! i gave him an earl-“

the hand your father lifts is enough to tell you that he isn’t buying your bullshit, he’s never, even if you’ve tried to make him. he then points at your feet, and you can’t help the way your eyes widen, “why are there cuts on your feet?”

you quickly scramble to give a response, “i was with kai at the sch-“

“y/n.”

you sigh, defeated and lazily staring at your father. “seonghwa, narrate what happened during that day.”

you don’t give seonghwa a look or stare but know that he’ll tell the truth, under the eyes of your father the truth will always come out. it felt as if it were court, and everyone was giving testimonies to send you to jail.

“ma’am was getting late night snacks down the street,” you freeze at his answer, the slight wavering of his tone that you know your dad didn’t catch, but you did. “when a group of wannabes chased her until she ran into me, i quickly fought them away with the help of ma’am and we made it out safely.”

“safely?” you father repeats, eyeing the faint marks around your feet and looks at seonghwa with a glare that’s only ever terrified you. especially on report card days. “i told you, y/n shouldn’t be hur-“

“but he hurt himself too!” you butt in, eyes wide and hands in the air. “he was just trying to protect me, we— he came up with a plan on spot and if it weren’t for him, dad i’d be more injured!”

“this is about you y/n!” you dad yells, eyebrows pulled together in a scowl. “you are my heir not seonghwa, you are supposed to be protected twenty-four seven!”

“there’s already conflicts building in neighboring groups, and i don’t want you to get hurt.”

he then stands up and you follow, immediately getting on your feet and staring in the eyes of your father while also sharing glances with seonghwa who stood with an emotionless face.

“if this happens again,” he takes a step forward and you swallow. “i won’t be as nice as i am.”

you nod shakily, “i-it won’t happen again!”

“seonghwa.”

“yes, sir.”

“find out who those wannabes were,” he nods, “and prepare a lesson of defense for y/n, use the back grounds.”

seonghwa immediately bows, “i’ll prepare one right away.”

“and you,” you straighten up, eyes blinking repeatedly at your dad who shakes his head. “i don’t want a single scar on you, we’ll host a gala soon. do not cause trouble, understood?”

you look down and nod, “yes, dad.”

hearing the footsteps fade away, you finally lift your head to look towards seonghwa. who stood with his hands behind his back, eyes straight and in a well fitted tux.

“ma’am.”

“why’d you lie?” you ask, hearing your voice echo the four walls. taking small steps on the carpet you walk closer to him, stopping as the only thing dividing you from him was the couch.

he stays still as if he heard nothing, so you ask him again. “why did you lie, seonghwa?”

he fidgets slightly before looking over his shoulder and then back at you, “i’m your best friend, isn’t that, right?” hesitance in his stance and tone.

you pause to take in what he said then bream out into a grin that makes your eyes curl into crescents. “i knew!” you gasp, “i could trust you!” you yell but he’s quick to put a finger on his lips to shush you.

jumping in your spot you swiftly lift your leg on the couch, lifting yourself up to wrap your arms around seonghwa’s shoulder and pulling him into an embrace. “you’re the bestest friend seonghwa!”

he stiffens up at the touch, eyes widened slightly and chest pounding.

“if i was your boss,” you pull back, not looking at his expression before announcing loudly while snapping your fingers. “immediate pay raise!”

“you are my boss.”

your hands then land on his shoulder, patting them as you held an expression of dramatic admiration. “i knew i could trust you,” you pat his shoulders before standing straight.

“now…i will be busy for the next two hours and you can-“ you swiftly glance at the clock before looking back at him. “-have a break!”

but before you can move, fidget or maybe even breathe properly seonghwa’s hand comes to grab your wrist, gently but firmly.

“where do you think you’re going?” you stop, looking around the room before staring at your wrist before looking at his unmoving figure.

“me and kai,” you begin, “project.”

he leans his free hand on the couch, leaning in until his face is right in-front of yours. “your project can wait; your father gave you something else to do.”

you squint your eyes, lifting your other hand up to his face. where you extend your forefinger out and poke it in the middle of his black glasses, pulling them down just a little to reveal his eyes.

“no.”

he smiles, not the nice kind. “or do you want me to call your father?”

you shake your head, narrowing your eyes even more as you suck in a breath. “you wouldn’t.”

he smirks, “oh i would, and i don’t think he’d like that very much, would he?” his smirk expands more, knowing he hit a mark he pushes his glasses back on before leaning back to his straighter stance.

letting go of your hand, he uses the same hand he held you by to point towards your right. “now,” he says, a muse to his tone. “off we go to your first lesson.”

“seonghwa,” you sing.

“seong! hwa!”

“hwa!”

“seong-seo-“

“if you think this will distract me from letting you go,” seonghwa turns around, eyeing your frowning face. “then you’re absolutely wrong.”

“we’re going to the quarters and you’re doing the training,” he bends at his waist and tilts his head, eyeing you as if expecting a yes.

“fine.” you grumble out, making a distasteful expression before following him inside the bodyguard quarters he mentioned the other day. stomping behind him purposely so he’d hear but he turns a blind eye to it.

in fact, he pays no attention to your whining about not wanting to train while putting out some bogus explanations which he does not buy one bit until you’re both inside the quarters.

which to your surprise look nothing like what you had imagined, you thought it’d perhaps be dark and cold and dull but it’s quite…the same as your place. straight out of a magazine quite literally, your eyes fall over the lobby where couches were planted as if they were delivered just yesterday.

“do you guys even use the couches?” you ask, seeing how there’s not a bump or a trace of a body sitting on the couch. “or..anything here at all?”

he looks over his shoulder before shrugging, “we only use it if the police ever come,“ you hum. “otherwise, this is just a set. wait till you see the backside, that’s the one we really use.”

you nod, mindlessly following behind him while your eyes wander over each corner. as you walk in further with him, the hallway gets darker and darker. from the bourgeoise 90’s lobby to an almost underground ring type area.

you would’ve mistaken it as a professional underground ring, with the boxing rings to your left and equipment with a suspicious number of doors to your right it feels like a movie set.

you had never been exposed to this side of your dad’s business though you knew everything about it, seeing it in person makes a chill run down your body. feeling unsettled at hearing live echoes and yells coming from the boxing rings.

which is why you stick close to seonghwa, looking over his shoulder as you walked. “is this place, okay?”

he nods without looking at you and you glance over at other guards bowing at you, you smiled awkwardly and waved your hands asking them to stop non-verbally.

“you can’t tell them they don’t have to bow,” you whisper to seonghwa, and he chuckles quietly.

“you’re the boss daughter, our heir.” he suddenly stops to look back and you stare right back at him. “we bow to you because we respect you.”

“but like,” you look around and huddle closer. “what if i don’t want it?”

he raises his eyebrows at that, staring at you with narrowed eyes. “respect? you don’t want the respect?”

you click your tongue, “no!” and then point at everyone who still are bowing. “like bowing, makes me feel older heh,” you grin, and he scoffs.

without saying anything further, he steps to the right before opening a door. standing back before asking you to go in but you stop. “aren’t you the bodyguard? you go firs-“

he cuts you off by walking in and you follow right behind and closing the door, “don’t look at anyone, don’t talk to anyone. keep following me.”

“why not?” you question, a sheepish smile on your face because you know it annoyed him.

“because you’ll get distracted.” he turns around and you’re already a few steps behind him, eyeing the poster pinned to the wall with your hands behind your back and bending at your waist.

“ma’am.” he calls out with a sigh, and you turn your head to him, “ma’am, we’l-“

“ma’am who?!”

“fuck,” seonghwa whispers at the way your eyes widen at the new voice that yelled.

“who was that?”

“no one, let’s get into the room qui-“

“not so fast!” seonghwa sees your eyes move from him to behind him and he instantly regrets it. cursing under his breath he turns around to see a group he specifically wanted you to ignore.

“oh. my. god, seonghwa!” you walk closer towards him but it’s almost like he knew you were, he held his hand up behind him to stop you.

“why are you at work this early?” you frown, taking small steps towards him.

“boss called me in,” you hear him say, “now leave the room, i’ve got some work to-“

but before he can finish his sentence, he’s shoved off to the side revealing three men standing with their eyes widened.

“oh.”

you blink and they blink, on sync.

you take a step forward; they take one back.

“hi,” your voice dropping to a whisper, raising your hand, and doing a little wave while seonghwa gets his balance back only to be shoved back.

“you’re the boss’s daughter!?”

you nod, shakily and in a split second the three men are bowing at you. you chuckle awkwardly before looking at seonghwa who rubs his forehead and sighs.

“oh my god,” the light-purple haired man begins to walk to you but not before seonghwa holds him back by the collars. “h-hey!”

“i told you wooyoung, don’t.”

“why not!” you beamed, “hi wooyoung, i’m y/n its very nice to meet yo-“

“she said my name,” and wooyoung collapses onto the rest two.

“h-hi, i’m yeosang,” the blond man pointed at himself, and you smiled, and then he points at the one with cerulean haired man. “and he’s hongjoong.”

hongjoong who’s eyes widen at the introduction immediately holds wooyoung up, “we are very grateful to serve you.” and bow in a sync, at the perfect height.

you look at seonghwa who raises his eyebrow at you and then at the trio, “it’s nice to meet you too and please-“

“she said please,”

“wooyoung.” seonghwa hissed, voice low and demanding and it made you swallow.

“sorry, sorry!”

“hi y/n?” wooyoung steps forward extending his hand out for you to take. “can we call you that?”

you take his hand and shake it, “of course you can!”

“she shook my hand, oh my gosh.”

“that’s it.” seonghwa swoops in to pull wooyoung back and motioning for you to join him inside, never putting a hand on you.  

the trio stood in a line as you walked past them with a grin, they all returned, especially wooyoung who you seem to fancy.

once the door’s closed behind you, you’re welcomed to a semi-broken-down core of a practice area. boxing equipment laying around with faded colours of red and blue gloves as well as dumbbells that were a funky neon green.

“your friends are nice.”

“don’t like them too much.” he mutters, and you look back at the door, “don’t befriend them either.”

“why-“

he looks back and you stop midway, “training?”

you blink and nod, not pressing anything further seeing his expression. “yeah.”

“hit once on the side.”

“like that?”

“no.”

you sigh, letting your shoulders slump and you turn to look at him. you’ve been doing this for an hour and a half straight, you’re sure its lunch time but you don’t dare remind him. especially when he’s got that frown stuck on his face since the very beginning.

tux off and only in a white shirt whose sleeves are rolled to his elbows, he’s been constantly demanding you to punch or kick a certain way. even if it’s correct, he asks you to do it his way because-

“it’s my way or the highway here.”

and you’d use the dad card on him.

“wait till dad finds out about this.”

to which he smugly replies to, “hm, he won’t come to save you.”

which true, and you hated how aggravating it was.

you had to do this class repeatedly as your dad warned you off the dangers, that were currently ongoing the world you lived in, where you were an easy target.

“do five more sets and we’ll call it a break.” your eyes must be glimmering for seonghwa to take note off and shake his head, coming to walk behind the long red coloured punching bag.

gripping his slim fingers around it he looks at you and then nods, “five more.” and if it weren’t for your brain to be completely blinded by the idea of not doing this anymore, you would’ve noticed the way seonghwa looked at you.

or more how you looked at seonghwa, with that white shirt rolled to his elbows, how could you not ogle him up and down? not only does it make you smirk in between the lessons but also makes you want to slow time down even more than it already was.  

when he taps the bag, you snap back to reality and nod, bringing your gloved clad hands up to your chest. standing in the way he’s taught you (for ten minutes) before throwing a punch at the bag, which makes it jiggle back.

“again,” seonghwa sighs, the disappointed look on his face making you clench your fists tighter. “hit it right where my hand is.”

and you do, hit it where he told you but he’s just not happy. with the way his face remains the same, where his eyebrows are scrunched together with a tick in his jaw.

even if you wanted to say something, you stopped yourself before throwing a punch again. but this time his lips leave a small ‘tch’ sound that makes you grow irritated.

“what is it?” you finally ask, hands on your waist and weight on your one foot. “is it the way i’m not hitting to your satisfaction?”

“exactly that.” he responds, walking around the bag before coming to stand in front of you. hands crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face, “i want you to copy what i’m asking you to.”

“but i am doing what you asked me to!”

he sighs, running a hand through his black hair while you stood with an eyebrow raised. he glanced at you and then shakes his head slightly, “watch how i do it and then repeat, okay?”

before he turns around, looking at you to make sure you’re watching before standing in his position. fists to his chest, eyes narrowed and be throws a punch that’s so loud that the hit echoes the entire room twice.

you stare at him blankly, hands by your aide and eyes blinking repeatedly as he hits the bag one more time and your jaw drops. a slow motion of him punching the bag replays in front of your eyes repeatedly until he snaps his finger at you and asks you to stand properly.

but again, you don’t even stand properly to his level that he comes to stand behind you. you feel his towering front to your back, with the warmth and the slight smell of perfume and the mix of sweat.  

his breath now fanning down your neck and you swallow, “now what?” you say, voice turning into a whisper automatically as your heartbeat begins to ring in your ear.

he raises his hands to your waist, hovering his hands beside it and never not touching it. that’s before he inhales sharply and quietly asks, “can i hold onto you?” his low tone making you shiver.

you swallow before nodding and then you feel his larger hands come to settle on the either side of you. you inhale sharply as he holds your hips gently and moves you into the correct position then when you thought it was over, his hands lift to hold into your forearms.

“i’ll guide you,” he mumbles before clearing his throat and you nod. “watch and learn.”

he then moves his hand the way he would punch, with every action his chest hits your back and your heartbeat skips beats. he does the same in silence a few more times before stepping back, “try it yourself.”

and you do, swallowing first and then hitting the punching bag with the exact amount of force seonghwa wants. and if it were not for him to stand behind you, you would’ve definitely seen the corner of his lip perking up into a smirk before he finally dismisses you.

with a loud exhale you plop onto the ground with a noise that he smiles at, staring you down while he stands beside you. “i think i liked the heels better for defense, don’t you think?”

he snorts, placing his hands in his pocket before bending at his waist. “if you’re okay with destroying your jimmy cho-“

“never mind.” you glare, a small pout forming on your lips, and you look the other way. body laying like a starfish that he can’t help but find endearing but before he thinks into it more, he excuses himself to walk out.

you lift your head up on your elbow and watch him leave, one eyebrow raised and lips forming into an ‘o’ as if you’d whistle while staring at his brooding back and broad shoulders.

once the door’s closed you find yourself looking at the lord and new posters stuck on each other on the walls, some ripped while others faded with years.

you let out a sigh of relief for the first time since you walked in here, with the tension between you and seonghwa, the lingering hot stares, the subtly touches over the span of months you’ve been with him has you waking up at nights.

at first maybe you thought it was some weird crush you had on him, which got brutally debunked by your friend kai. who you texted and called during the nights, where he’d yell at you for waking him up and then give you the sweetest advice the other second.

“kai, what if he doesn’t like me back?”

“you gotta ask him that yourself,” you’d hear him yawn, “there’s a lot of reasons for him to say no even if he likes you, y’know?”

“like what?”

“your godamn father.”

right.

because you can’t do anything in this house if you don’t have his permission. that’s how it has been growing up, aside from the luxurious provided to you (which you were grateful for), you were never allowed to hang out with anyone at your school or outside.

the only person your dad trusted (borderline not) was kai, other than that, you were sheltered and deprived of the interaction you wanted. to date, to smoke perhaps or do things your once teenager heart wanted.

which now meant, feeling your heartbeat skip or beat way too much when you’re around seonghwa or have butterflies in your stomach when he’d do the slightest of actions to make sure you’re safe.

whether it be him giving you his number so that he’d be able to join you in your next sneak out where he breaks his forefront with you. chugging down soda drinks or heavily spiced noodles to eating flavored ice cones where your tongues would get colored.

so that ‘crush’ isn’t exactly a crush anymore, as much as you hoped it didn’t progress mu-

“y/n?”

you snap out into reality when you hear your name but want to fall back into it when you realize his face is right in front of yours.

“hi,” you whisper and watch his lips twist into a smile.

“hi y/n,” his voice suddenly falls deaf on your ears, “let’s practice again, okay?”

you’re blinking again and again, and he watches with a smile before snapping his fingers in front of your face, “y-yeah, practice, let’s do that.”

“are you okay?” he asks, eyeing your widened eyes with soft eyes. he leans in closer, close enough for his nose to be just, just touch yours. “you’re breathing quite heavily.”

“i’m good!” you stand up suddenly, looking everywhere but him. “we, uh, we should get back to practice!”

which went awfully if it meant you staring at seonghwa half the time and blanking out. every minute you spend with him just confirms kai’s accusations at you about how you liked seonghwa.

and if it weren’t for him to be so damn close to you all the time, maybe you wouldn’t have felt this way. but now, you aren’t even paying attention to what he’s saying. just being aware of him beside you, his hands lifting to point and suddenly your attention goes to that.

the more you followed his hands, the sooner you realize there’s something burning at your elbow. which takes you a second to realize and when you do, you’re hissing in pain loudly.

loud enough for him to immediately hold the punching bag straight, hurriedly reach for your arm gently and asking, “are you alright?” he soft checks your arm as you twist your face into one of intense pain.

“i…can’t move my arm.”

“i told you to pay attention! look at you now, you’re all hurt!”

you don’t register the next few moments, because one second, he's yelling at you about how you’re hurt and not paying attention. the other he’s sat you down, kneeling in front of you while wrapping a bandage around your elbow.

“you have to start being careful y/n.”

you hum, staring at his face that’s full of worry and it makes your insides do summersaults.

“but then who’d do this for me?”

he can’t help but breathe through his nose at that, biting back a smile before he swaps it back to his frowning face. “ow!”

he sighs audibly, staring at your elbow that’s wrapped in white before looking at you in the eye.

“let’s call it a day then hm?” he mumbles, and you nod slowly, he then reaches beside him to pull out a towel that he lifts up to your face and wipes the sweat off.

“hey seonghwa,” you whisper, loud enough for him to hear and hum an answer. “…you need to stop doing this,”

his eyes flicker to you as he continues to pat away at your face, “stop doing what?”

“playing with my heart like that.”

“y/n, no.”

“hwa, yes.”

“no!”

you look at him with a deadpan, raising an eyebrow and folding your arms over your chest.

you, seonghwa and the trio who’s currently yelling really loudly behind you two came to the store, right before the gala. more like you forcing them all to get out and look good for the gala even if they all said no, you knew they wanted to go.

and curse that stupid rule of bodyguards not being family, you were inviting them, nonetheless. a little scolding from your dad wasn’t something you minded, so even after their ‘attempts’ to stop you, you were successful in getting them all out to the store.

and currently, unsuccessful in getting seonghwa to try an outfit.

“yes!” you whisper loudly, shoving a blazer towards seonghwa and pushing him in the changing rooms.

“y/n, i can’t be wearing this!” he argues back, looking left and right in the rather empty changing room hallways. “..and we can’t be seen like this!”

“like what?” you ask with a playful smile before taking a step closer to him, in the slim hallways. “like this?” you raise your hand and place it on his forearm. “or like this?”

he swallows before looking away towards the end, “your dad’s men are here, if they see us like this we’d be in big trouble.”

you look to where he’s looking, narrowing your eyes to look for anyone but there’s not a soul standing there. with a roll of your eyes, “i’m not kidding,” he lowers his voice to a whisper, “y/n!”

“fine then, my dad’s men are here, right?” you move to the side and open the changing room doors, “then let’s give them a show.”

panic immediately rushes to his face as you push him inside the changing rooms, to the point his back is up against the mirror. “m-ma’am we can be fo-“

“-you talk so much, don’t you?” you say, eyebrows knitting together. “now wear this and come out,” before he opens his mouth you continue again. “this is an order.”

you lean your face closer to his, close enough that you can smell his perfume and it makes your stomach churn. his eyes now wide and staring at you, blinking repeatedly while you search his face.

taking your time to marvel at his face, a small smirk appears on your lips that he finds himself looking at. your glittered lips, courtesy to that lip-gloss he asked to carry in his pocket looking at him with a pout.

“y-y/n.”

your eyes flicker to his, a hint of tease in your eyes you raise your brow slightly. and without a single thought behind your eyes or your mind, you end up blurting something that shows instant regret on your face.

“are you married?”

“what?” his face drops and you curse under your breath.

“no like,” you bite down on your lips, “i just…can’t be seen romancing a taken man, you know, my reputation and all?” you blink.

he laughs, a loud laugh that has you stopping in your tracks to look at him. his head falls on you, forehead leaning on your shoulder as his shoulders shake while laughing and you stay still.

with blood shooting up to your cheeks, a shy smile on your face he looks up. “no,”

“no what?” you ask, paying no attention to the way he looks at you because you’re so lost in the way your heartbeat rings in your ear.

“i’m not married.” he mumbles, taking a step forward and you take one back until you’re standing outside the changing rooms.

“single.” he clicks his tongue and with a wink closes the curtains on you.

you stay still for a few seconds, just staring at the curtain until your lips twist into a smile, the one where you bite down on your lower lip.

you then turn around, the smile still on your face and stomach fluttering with butterflies before your eyes set on where seonghwa was pointing at.

“your dad’s men are here!”

the smile you had is quickly replaced by a small frown, fishing your phone out you text you dad wondering just what the fuck is he doing sending his private men when you have your bodyguards with you.

y/n, 2:35pm

dad did you send

someone to keep an

eye on me?

y/n, 2:37pm

i see the seen receipts

u can respond

dad, 2:40pm

come home and we will talk.

with an annoyed sigh you put your phone back in your pocket and then turn around just in time for seonghwa to pull open the curtains.

“oh,” you whisper, standing frozen with your hand still at your back pocket and eyes widening as you look at him up and down.

“how is it?” he asks, fiddling with the cuffs as he straightens the fabric down.

“good…” you mumble, your eyes doing that thing where you look at him up and down slowly as if to save the image in your mind. “great actually…y-yeah,” you nod repeatedly before looking away to whisper an “oh my gosh.”

“is the colour good?“ he asks, completely and utterly oblivious to the way you’re staring at him and if he were to notice he didn’t mention anything. “don’t you think you’re spending too much?”

and how can you not look at him, men in tuxedo’s were always your weakness but what was even worse was when they looked so good in it. “gosh,” you whisper to yourself as you look away and internally yell at yourself to get it together.

“we’ll get this one!” you nod repeatedly, eyes away from him and turning around to walk to the cashier

“y/n, in no way you’re paying.” you grin hearing the four repeat the same thing to you repeatedly.

seonghwa then comes to stand right behind you causing you to look up at him, “yes?”

“y/n, this all is really expensive-“ he looks at the faces of the rest, “we could’ve just gotten the suits from the nearby shop.”

“but i don’t like the fabric they have there.” you retort back with a growing smile; you then  raise your hand to pat his shoulder. “so don’t worry.”

when you turn around to tap your card, you don’t look at the total cost that is until seonghwa decides to angrily whisper in your ear.

“four full suits,” he grits as he looks at the price. “that’s almost 30k!”

“really?” you gasp as you look at the design on your card, void of any surprise.

he nods, “i told you we shouldn’t-“

“-i thought it was expensive.”

you look over your shoulder to watch his face drop with a soft smile before tapping the card, hearing the beep and picking your bags up.

“where to next?” you turn to look at them, blinking twice. “food?”

“n-no!”

“this is where you’re meeting your friend?” seonghwa asks from beside you and you turn to him with a grin that he squints his eyes at.

“what friend?”

he looks in front of him when you nod, a strange looking diner with broken neon lights and a welcome sign full of rust.

“it’s a sweet little diner!”

he thinks it’s anything but sweet, in fact, it looks terrifying and in an extremely sketchy area where the only people visible are older ladies that resemble babushkas.

he’s glad he has his gun right up in inner his chest pocket, ready to pull it out whenever he sees anyone except you glare at him to put it back.

“table for three please!” he hears you ask the lady inside, who gives him a good look before looking back at you.

his eyes look all around at the wallpaper that he’s sure he can find at his grandma’s place.

“there’s only table for two left,” the raspy, deep, and scratchy voice of hers tickles your ears.

it’s then when seonghwa leans near your ear, “ma’am, this place seems way too sketchy-“ he glances at the lady glaring at him. “i-i don’t think we should stay he-“

“we’ll take that one then!”

the lady in front hums with disdain, “married?” she asks, writing something up in her old rust colored diary.

both of you stop blink and exhale on sync.

"no.” he answers.

“yes.” you answer, giving him a look and a tight-lipped smile. “only recently actually! right honey?” you exclaim, holding his forearm and leaning on him that makes him stop in his tracks.

seonghwa stares at you with wide eyes, ready to explain to you how this is not right but your glare has him nodding.

“that’s right!” you kick his shin, “b-baby!”

you smile, eyes curling into upwards crescents as the lady nods. “okay, you can go in.”

once you’re sat, you wiggle your eyebrows at an emotionless seonghwa. leaning forward to pat his shoulder, “how are you honey?” you tease, “do you need water?”

“y/n.”

“what?” you ask, hiding back a smile when the waitress (aka the lady in the front) walks by you two with menus. “loosen up hwa!”

“this is a really stupid idea.”

you shake your head and click your tongue, “not an idea,” you correct him. “but a date.”  

that seems to set him off, “y/n if anyone sees us here, we-“

“i bet you can’t even order.” you interrupt him.

he frowns, “yes i can.”

you lift an eyebrow up, “yeah?” he nods, and you raise your hand to call over the waitress. “do it then.”

he gives you a look when he realizes what you’re doing and shakes his head, sighing as the waitress comes over, chewing her gum obnoxiously. “can we have two plates of pasta?”

“there’s like thirteen choices of pasta in our menu,” the waitress retorts back and you bite back a laugh. “chose one mister, make our lives easier.”

his gaze flickers to yours for a brief moment to see you cupping your mouth, “okay..” he sighs, “two plates of carbonara-“

“that’s not on the menu.”

you choke on the water you had been drinking and heat him sigh out loudly, “just…just give us your best dish.”

“you want it as a pasta?”

“yes!” you answer instead of him, “just please bring us anything, we’re really hungry!”

“you guys are weird.” she says, and you nod.

“look who’s talking,“ seonghwa mumbles, a bit too loudly, wanting a glare from the waitress and a snort from you.

“where have you dragged me y/n.”

“to fun.” you answer, leaning back while shooting him a finger gun.

fun was surely delivered, especially when the waitress accidentally dropped the sauce on seonghwa’s sleeves and mumbled a “deserved it.”

or maybe how you two were left utterly surprised at how good the dish was, both your eyes widening dramatically. mumbling how good it was and how he underestimated and judged it before he had anything from here.

and the fun only exceeding when in the middle of your dinner date, the restaurant seemed to play some music that worked like crack on you two. you standing up mid-way of drinking a cola and joining the five others dancing in the middle.

the five others being, two staff members, one chef and another customer.

while seonghwa sat and ate his pasta, watching you from his seat with a smirk. eyes on your every move and it felt like the time had slowed down for him, the restaurants dark nature and red and yellow lights framed you perfectly in his eyes.

he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, seeing how you’d bite your lips and how your hands were in the air while you tried to mumble along the song.

he didn’t realize how long he had been looking at you that he didn’t notice you calling out for him, which he did shook his head at first but joined, nevertheless.

surpassing you by shaking his hips and leaving the others wide mouthed, all while his hands were on your waist, as if reminding everyone to not mess with you while you moved along the beat. he looked like the terrifyingly handsome man who was possessive over you, you liked that agenda.

before you two left, the waitress brought over a box of rings which made you squeal. “choose one for yourselves!” and then she explained how it was a side business and you immediately chose two.

One black and the other purple, simply because the two had the same design just different colors. One for seonghwa and the other for you.

“you two should put it on here!” the waitress said, ushering the two of you to exchange rings in the middle of the restaurants

which seonghwa surprised you with, gently holding your hand and slipping the ring on your forefinger while you smiled teasingly before doing the same.

When two of you left, it rained heavily. With no sign of a store nearby to grab an umbrella, you decided why not walk under the rain.

“y/n, you’re gonna get sick!”

“it’s worth it!” you yell back, twirling in the rain while he watched you from afar. though following you anyway, with a permanent smile on his face.

he thinks it’s the most he’s ever smiled, and it happened to be when he’s with you.

and then hears you sniffle, drenched from top to bottom yet a smile never left your lips. “cold?” he asked, and you nod, and then he removed his long warm coat to drape around your shoulders. “good?”

“great.” you answered, heart skipping a beat.

and if he thought you two would call it a day there, he was wrong. because you dragged him into a photo booth to take pictures, one where he stands stuff as a guard and their others where you forced him to make at least one face.

“put up a peace sign at least!” you whined your which he smiled at and did as you told, copying you and taking the pictures you wanted.

where in one you had your hands on his shoulder in the cramped booth, the two of you pushed up against one other. eyes staring into each other’s eyes while your breaths mingled, and if one move, he’d end up kissing you. and it’s not like you minded, noticing his blushing face whenever you were remotely two inches away from his face, you found it endearing.

and then you took him to a playground, thankfully which was near his place. challenging him for a round of basketball to which he shook his head at, “we should go back home now, y/n, it’s almost ten-“

“just one round.” you asked, holding up one finger with shiny eyes and he couldn’t help but nod.

though he beat you in every single round that was definitely more than one, you yelled at him to either “stop cheating!” followed by a gasp or a “i was too easy on you!” or “i let you win!” to which he’d teasingly nod his head at.

and now you two stood in front of his apartment door, “i asked boss if you could stay the night, he said only if you’re back early morning.”

you turn to him, “i don’t wake up before ten by the way!” and push open the door while he stands with his shoulders slumped before joining you inside and keeping a distance.

“sorry, my house isn’t as big as yours.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed.

“i kind of don’t care?” you say, looking around his small living room with a smile. “now where’s the bathroom?"

he points to the right and you say a thank you before scurrying towards it, leaving him standing alone by the door with his hands in his pocket.

a sigh leaves his lips as he begins to take his coat off, the one that now smelled like you. but before he has the chance to hang it up, his hand rummages through the pocket to find a strip of photos you two took.

a smile forms one his lips unknowingly, staring at the strip where your lips made a pout and he tried to copy it or where you held up a peace sign and his eyes were on you.

he couldn’t recognize the stare he was giving you, but he knows it’s something he shouldn’t dwell on further, knowing it’s against the rules given to him.

“you think he’d like this?” you ask, tapping your feet on the gravel repeatedly while looking at kai through the car window.

“you bought him the entire store,” he snaps his hand, “what makes you think he wouldn’t?”

you sigh and nod, leaning over the window and tapping the dashboard. “can you bring what i asked you in a while? i’ll text you okay?”

“got it,” he nods, pushing his glasses down, winking and raising his fist in the air.

with a smile, you grab the bags (in the hand that doesn’t hurt) from the backseat and take a quick look at the dark, cloudy sky and you know it’s about to rain.

“if i don’t text you,” you say, fishing your phone out to see the messages being sent in by hongjoong. “that means he said no.”

he nods and you turn around, holding the big bag in your right hand as kai drives his car out the driveway before you make your way inside the bodyguard quarters. hiding from the cameras you know your dad would be able to watch and you’d be done for.

the second you’re inside, a whole line of bodyguards stand at the lobby waiting for you with a grin. they bow in sync, and you stop them mid-way, “y-you don’t need to bow please!”

they all smile, and you return it awkwardly before asking where seonghwa was, and at the mention of him they all stand up straight. gulp and then point towards the left in unison.

you hold back a snort before nodding and running down the hallway, a soft smile on your face and a bag hidden behind your back. you walk, jog, run whatever down the hall until you’re standing in front of the room where hongjoong said seonghwa would be at.

with a long and shaky inhale, you lift your hand to wrap around the doorknob. but before that you press your ear up against the door, feeling your heartbeat increase with each punch you hear from the inside.

swallowing the lump down your throat, you twist the door open and step inside quietly. closing the door behind you, you’re welcomed to a dark room.

where in the middle shone a bright light, where you hear loud punches being thrown at a punching bag and you immediately know it’s seonghwa.

from the rough breathing and the groans, your insides coil up as you slowly step towards the light. and when you do, you’re able to see the back of seonghwa though the netted wall. he wears a black tank top, and your eyes can’t help but rake at his broad back muscles flexing with every movement he does.

with a small smile you begin to walk towards him, hoping he won’t notice you right away. you watch the way his hands move skillfully, how he stands in one place het completely demolishes the bag with a single punch.

his hair over his eyes, arms shining with sweat and jaw clenched you couldn’t help but feel your knees grow weak.  

his hand threw a loud punch at the bag, sweating and grunting with each movement before he finally stops. letting out a loud sigh and unwraps the white bandages around his fists, stretching his shoulders while he’s at it.

then he throws the bandages on the floor and turns around only to stop, “y/n?” he squeaks, eyes looking at you up and down as you walk in holding cake with a candle lit up in the middle.

“w-what are you doing he-“

“happy birthday mr bodyguard!” he hears you squeal as you walk closer to him holding the cake that he finally gets a full view of you as you come under the light singing the birthday song.

“happy birthday hwa.” you whisper, and his eyes grow wide and shiny and glassy. you walk closer with a growing soft smile, carefully reaching out to grab his wrist. “come sit first.”

“y/n..” he mumbles, and you smile, placing the cake box on the floor as you take a seat on the ground. “who…who told you?”

“hongjoong,” you respond, pushing the cake his way with a smile that he can’t help but want to see every day. “now, blow the candles!”

“you didn’t have to do this y/n,”

“who was going to then?” you raise an eyebrow, “they all told me you never celebrate your birthday, because you’re so stubborn and bossy and angry-“

he cuts you off with a deep laugh that makes butterflies gather in your stomach, “did they really tell you that?”

you shake your head, “no, just my observations.” he smirks, “i got a keen eye you know?”

“hm?” he teases before you push the cake his way, he grabs the plastic knife from your hand and leans forward.

“i haven’t formally celebrated my birthday in years.” he whispers, and you smile a little, “thank you."

hovering his face over the cake, he looks at you with a soft look and reaches for your hand gently. “do it with me.”

you frown, “no, it’s your birthday silly!”

he hears nothing but motions for you to come closer and you do, on a count of three the two of you blow the candle at the same time while he still holds your hand, occasionally rubbing his thumb over the top of your hand.

“happy birthday seonghwa!” you say once again, sheepishly bringing a small confetti popper out and popping it.

you expect it to rain confetti with a pop all over but all you get is seonghwa throwing his head back laughing, while all the confetti’s laying in your lap. you popped it the wrong way.

you bite your lower lip before gathering them in your hand and throwing the confetti in the air, it’s right then when time falls slow for him.

he watches the way colorful confetti fills the air and how your eyes glow at the sight of it, a smile one your face and it feels like you were the epitome of light for him.

a pot of honey, or an orb of light or what he hears people in movies call a euphoric feeling.

“thank you,”

it’s all he’s able to say because he’s so fixated on your tinted lips curling into never ending smile that makes his heartbeat ring in his ear.  

the more he looks at you, he feels like he’s in some cliché hallmark movie that wooyoung forces him to watch to experience affection.

he thinks he’s experiencing affection right now and he wishes wooyoung was with him but the other part of him wished he didn’t have him there, not because of his teasing but because he wanted this moment to himself.

where you feed him a piece of cake with a cherry on top, accidentally brushing your fingertips to his lips for a quick second to you sitting by him with a polaroid camera in front of him.  

the camera you’re barely able to hold properly because of your elbow, which he supports by holding the other side of the camera.

“say cheese!”

he doesn’t, but smiles either way which makes you snort and take the picture anyway. one where he holds the cake and the other where he’s midway of eating it, where his cheeks are full, and eyes are wide and shiny.

and as you’re about to move away, he grabs you by the wrist and pulls you close. close enough for you to be right in front of his face, tips of your noses touch. “where do you think you’re going?”

“nowhere.” you whisper, shakily. eyes on him but they keep flickering down to his lips.

“take a picture with me then,” he asks, searching your face as the light highlights it. the dark room where only you two are in, it feels as if you’re in the sets of the greatest showman. “…because i want to have a memory of you.“

“well, it’s not like i’m going anywhere,” you say cheekily and his smile falters for a second, but before you notice he shakes his head. “i’m still here, but! since i’m really nice we’ll take one.”

with that you sit by him, a little distance between you two that he notices and snakes his arm around your waist to pull you in closer.

“good?” he whispers down your neck, low and raspy that it sends a shiver down your body.

“good.” you whisper back, looking at the camera before lifting it up, barely, with your arm that is until he takes it from your hands and holds it in his.

he moves closer till your shoulder hit’s his chest and his chin is rests on top of your head, the action alone makes you want to curl in closer but it’s the thoughts in your head that stop you.

which to be fair, your thoughts are never ones that won’t end up on your tongue. which is exactly what happening in the next few moments that seem like the most aggravatingly slow moments.

“i like you.”

he snaps the picture.

you feel him stiffen up beside you and you closer your eyes, biting your lips and repeating you’re done for, you’re done for, you’re done for.

“i like you seonghwa.” you repeat and keep going until you know you’ll be regretting it. “i have for a while now….a-and i,” you clear your throat, “i couldn’t hold it anymore.”

“y/n..”

“i know! i know!” you quickly interrupt him, “you just think of me as your boss and all, which yes, go you! but…i know this sounds selfish but..”

“but?” he whispers, feeling his breath fan down your neck and it only makes you bite your lips more.

“i kind of, not kind of! but i did fall for you…it may sound selfish because you were just doing your job and…” you swallow, feeling tears prickle at your eyes at this confession even if it sounds so stupid. “…and i’m sorry for that but i really wanted you to be more than just my bodyguard.”

“i also know you won’t agree to it!” you explain, and he listens to it while staring down at you. “which is your decision and i respect that…but i really wanted to tell you this before..before it became worse.”

“why?”

your heart thumps against your chest at the silence, heart dropping to your stomach and palms growing sweaty.

“you’re comforting to be around,” you answer, looking down at your lap. “you do the smallest things, and it drives me crazy, i thought i was crazy at first…but the more i spend my time with you.”

“i was convinced i started to like you more than i had previously,” a sigh leaves your lips, as you mind plays flashbacks. “every time you’d walk by in that suit of yours,” you smack your forehead lightly at that. “god, i didn’t know someone could be that attractive, with that angry face all the time.”

“so yes…” you inhale sharply and make the mistake of looking at him, “i really do like you, not as a bodyguard…but more than that, gosh this feels so stupid to say..”

before he gets to answer, you’re already up on your feet. looking anywhere but him, “i..you can take your time to think,” he watches you step back, “i’ll be outside!” before you scurried away.

leaving a dumbfounded seonghwa with a small box in hand, a cake on the floor and a polaroid beside him.

“i like you.”

“shit.” he whispers to himself in the silence, fingers opening the box in his hands which reveals a wallet. his eyebrow furrow at that, “wallet?”

but then he remembers it’s the same one he was looking at the other day, where you two went out after your class and how you were asking him if he liked a certain item.

“shit, shit, shit.”

“i like you, more than just my bodyguard.”

he then runs a hand down his face, biting his lips as he pushes his hair back and looks down at the polaroid of you and him. he lifts his it up in his hands and stares at it.

a photo of you and him together, unlike all the photos he’s been in where you’re in the front beside your father and he’s in the far back.

your smile makes his lips curl into one, your cheek squished against his chest and his chin on your head, he sighs as he stares at it more.

“i did fall for you.”

he wished he felt surprised at what you had hold him, but on the inside he wasn’t. he felt like he knew it all along, how you felt and as the days went by and…he couldn’t help but be attracted to you too.

from your bright, cheery, and teasing personality that, at first, got on his nerves but now he can’t get it out of his nerves because he’s grown to be very fond if you as well.

and he knows he’s fond of you especially if he gets called out by wooyoung and hongjoong in the hallways, whenever you’d walk last him and wink at him it’s like they knew and teased him about it.

so, he then finds himself looking at the door, biting the insides of his lower lip he stands up and as he’s about to walk out the door with a smirk on his face, he remembers your father.

and all the blood from his face drains.

how can he betray your father like that? his hands fall down the doorknob as his heartbeat thumps against his chest. how can he go against your fathers’ rules? and fall for you?

“i like you seonghwa.”

“do not touch my daughter.”

“i like you seonghwa…more than just my bodyguard.”

how can he betray the hand that feeds him?

but can he betray his own heart like that?

as seonghwa steps outside the back doors after getting looks of tease from the other guards, which he responds with a grim and stands by the front doors.

watching the rain fall and create mists all over, so much so that he’s barely able to see the back yard. he inhales before grabbing an umbrella, opening it with one hand while the other stays in his pocket where he had the picture of you two.

with only one thing in his mind, you.

at how he’s going to answer you, your dad and himself.

speaking of you, he sees you running towards him from the white mists in the dark night. at first, he squints his eyes to make sure it is you and not some newbie doing rounds around the place.

once you’re more visible to him, his heartbeat takes a sudden stride in speed as you run towards him, holding a bouquet of red flowers.

smiling brightly while you’re getting drenched in the rain, holding the bouquet to your chest as you step into puddles avoiding the rain.

and before he thinks ahead, he walks down the stairs. walking to you with an umbrella over his head, eyes stuck on you and hand holding the picture tightly.

you notice and run faster, breathing heavily. waving at him to which he just stares at you, and your smile falters.

a sinking feeling in your stomach grows as you come closer him, until finally you’re under the same umbrella as him.

“hi,” you breathe out, panting and clutching the bouquet in your wet hands.

he smiles a little, eyes flickering from your eyes to your hair that’s all wet to your lips that make him clutch the umbrella tighter. “hi.”

“i brought this for you too,” you point at the flowers and look up, holding them out towards you.

he says nothing but watches the way the light from behind him shines on your face. a singular ray of light perfectly halving your face, leaving one side bright and the other darker.

“….and i assume your answer is a, no?” he hears you ask, tilting your head just a little.

“i like you.”

“i like you seonghwa.”

“more than just a bodyguard.”

you smile a little, exhaling before nodding. “that’s alright,” you squeak out despite the heavy feeling in your heart.

“i hope you’ll be the perfect man for this job,”

“don’t disappoint me park.”

“i like you seonghwa.”

“…you can..just forget this ever h-“

but before you’re able to finish your sentence and say your prepared pre-break-up speech and him being able to articulate his thoughts. you’re cut off by seonghwa throwing the umbrella to the side and locking his lips with yours at a surprising pace.

you let out a squeal at the suddenness, but cave right in at his soft, plumpy and pillowy lips. your eyes fall shut slowly as a gasp of yours gets hushed by his lips that stay over yours for a second longer and then slowly start to move.

his arms sneak around your torso, pulling you in and the action alone makes your heart pound faster. he holds you impossibly closer, your hands falling flat against his chest as he balances you to him.

he pulls back shortly, resting his forehead on yours while his eyes are shut but his lips break out into a smile. the rain falls down on you two hard, but that’s the least of your worries, neither that or the possible stares you two are getting from the windows or the cctv camera’s.

“are you…”

“yes.” he whispers, opening his eyes to look at yours. “i like you too.”

you chuckle, “i was going to ask if you were dating anyone.”

he snorts, nuzzling his forehead against yours. “why?” pecking at the skin under your eye.

“i don’t like to share.”

he breaks out into a toothy smile, and it tugs at your chest, blinking away the rain on your eyelashes. “fortunately, the perks of working under your dad is that i never dated.”

you nod with a raised eyebrow, “guess that’ll change now, huh?”

he smiles, “i guess so.” and does that thing with his eyebrows, in that teasing singing tone that makes you look away.

when you look up, your eyes stop at his lips and just the sight of them makes you throw your head back and laugh. “what is it?” he asks, lifting his hand from your waist to your upper back.

you then lift your hand to wipe your face with your sleeve before looking at him, and then hook your sleeve to your thumb and point at his lips. “my lipsticks all on you silly.”

and as you’re about to swipe it off, he cuts you off in leaning in closer to kiss you all over again. but this time by deepening the kiss, a ray of butterflies fill your gut, and you wrap your arms around his neck.

the flowers long gone and now you two standing alone in the rain, umbrella on the ground beside seonghwa, flowers beside you and just the night falling on you two.

you feel him smile against your lips when you try to make a point about the flowers, “hey!” but he pays no attention and instead licks at lower lip, and you grant access by opening your mouth while smiling which he gladly takes and slips his tongue in.

your hands that rested on his neck now find playing with his hair, kissing him as passionately and intensely as he does. his hand travel down to behind your thighs, before he slightly lifts you off the ground, the sound of lips smacking against one another echoed slightly, but the rain overpowered it all.

the kiss is rhythmic, slow and stable at the same time. the one that makes your knees wobble and if it weren’t for him holding your waist, you probably- absolutely, would’ve slid down.

when he pulls back, both of you are breathless. panting as a string of spit connects you two, he leans in again and kisses you the same way he did before.

lifting his hand cupping your cheeks and kissing your gently until you whisper his name, and he slowly pulls back, his hair covering his eyes while his swollen lips match yours.

“we can’t let anyone find out about us.” you nod with a determined look. 

“especially my dad.”

“especially your dad.”

you chuckle, nodding before your eyes travel behind him and you laugh once again.

“wooyoung’s-“

“watching through the window, isn’t he?” he asks, wrapping his arms around you to pull you in his embrace.

you chuckle, looking behind him to see all of them pressed up against the window, cheeks and bodies all squished to get a look.

“mhm,” you smile, catching wooyoung’s wave with an overly impressed face. “he’s actually waving at you right now.”

“tell him he better run.”

with the way your gala was being prepared, you would’ve thought it was some oscars. from dress’s to suits to decorations to gifts and to invites, it was all a mess.

and so were you and seonghwa.

a mess, trying to hide it all in front and behind your fathers’ sharp eyes.

you were sure you two would get caught in a matter of a few minutes, even seconds but were left utterly surprised when you realized it had been a little over a month since you two began your secret venture.

with holding hands under the tables and behind your backs, to sneakily escaping out at night to get your fair share of dates which one, were short but were worth it. any date or time you spent together only made you get to know him even better than before, which means you were in too deep for him.

it was evident on your face that you were so entranced by seonghwa, from having your elbow on the table and cupping your cheek while watching seonghwa explain something to your dad.

or watch him train the newbies, flipping them over in combat while wooyoung teased about seonghwa getting softer.

seonghwa’s usual ‘angry-young-man’ face was now switched to someone who couldn’t keep a smile off his face when you were in the room, which at times did get him in trouble.

“what’re you smiling at park?”

“n-nothing sir, just remembered a joke.”

which made you look away to hide a laugh, “oh? share it with us too.”

“dad!”

as for seonghwa, the teasing’s he gets every second were more than enough to get his feelings across. from getting shy to hiding his face in your shoulder whenever you tease him about it to doing an absolute 360 when the doors are closed.

so, you don’t know how a game of monopoly could lead into seonghwa hovering on top of you, thankfully, this time at his place.

“you’re in a hurry,” you whisper, raising an eyebrow teasingly to which he smirks at. “can’t guard me from you?”

“very much so,” he whispers, closing the space between his lips and yours and pressing them together gently. “you know sometimes…you talk too much.”

“yeah?” you say against his lips, “then…make me go quiet.”

you feel him smile softly in between the kiss that’s gone from sweet, slow, to faster but sensual. his hands slowly travel to yours, interlocking his fingers with yours he brings your hand above your head.

“i think,” he pulls back, forehead resting on yours and staring directly at you with a fond look. “i like you talking, especially right now.”

you hum playfully and he moves to place his lips on yours, lifting his other hand up to cup your cheek to deepen it. his warm lips melt over yours in an instant and it shoots butterflies in your stomach, squirming under him when he hums against your lips.

he pushes himself on you and your let out a muffled whimper, his tongue licks at your lips and his grasp on your wrist tightens. the sound of kissing echoes the room, and you grow impatient, lifting your head up to his to kiss back quicker, and more intenser.

he catches into that quick and whispers a “easy.” in between the kisses and it makes you fall back, he finds purchase in sucking on your lower lip in particular, that’s so soft that he lightly nibbles on it.

with a slight gasp that leaves you, he takes the chance to slip his tongue in. quickly exploring your mouth and you moan when he uses his teeth to nibble on your lower lip and it has you moaning and lifting your hips against him.

he nibbles and sucks and swirls his tongue over your lips, hands roaming everywhere and swollen, hot, swollen lips pecking every part of your face, neck and shoulders that makes you giggle as he does it repeatedly with a smile.

he sucks and bites and circles his tongue down your neck, sucking at a spot that has you hissing in pleasure. your hand still in his hold above your head while the other wraps around his shoulders.

when you two pull back, both of you are breathing heavily. panting his eyes looks at yours, and then down to your swollen lips. smirking he lays his lips over yours again, softly and it only lasts for a second before he pulls back.

“you think we’ll make it back to your place,” he mumbles lowly, caressing your cheek. “in a few?” his low tone sends a shiver down your spine, and you shudder.

“my plan was to stay in actually.” you whisper back, your fingers pushing his hair back.

his hand that held your hand up, trails down to  your waist, his fingertips dance over your clothed skin. you could feel the thudding of your loud heartbeat fastening, driving your knees weak when he looks at you with those sharp, and eyes that grew darker in a split second.

“…as much as i want to,” he whispers, leaning down to peck your cheeks. “we can’t.”

he hears you whine and leans down by your ear, “if we have time later on, and you’re not drunk-“

but you’re quick to shut up him by locking your lips with his, catching him off-guard. lifting yourself up and pushing him up by the shoulders, in a matter of seconds switching positions to seating as his back hits bedframe and you come to straddle his legs.

“in a hurry?” he whispers, a little out of breath and wide eyed, hands itching to hold onto the ends of your dress, it makes you rub your thighs together.

you smirk, “very.” and take his hands to your hips, “didn’t take you for someone who’d be slow.”

“oh yeah?” he asks, bunching your dress up to your waist before he leans down, pressing himself over you and earning a low mewl from you.  

“mhm,” you nod, hands lifting unbutton his shirt. “into vanilla?”

he smirks, “i’m into many things,” he lifts you up and you take the chance to wrap your arms around his shoulders, closing in on the distance between you two.

“at once or alone?” you tease.

his fingers fiddle with the strap as of your dress and you unbutton his shirt, and he chucks it away somewhere on the floor. “wait and see.”

with a smile, you run your forefinger down his chest until it reaches the very end, you lean forward peck his lips and then slowly start to grind on him. his hands immediately fly to your hips as he keeps them in one place and gives you a stare, and then returns the kiss.

the glint of darkness in his eyes makes your insides curl as he pushes your dress strap down, hands on your waist and eyes on you he can’t help but throw his head back and groan.

and you can’t help but find it attractive, you’ve been with people before who’d rather suppress their voices than to let them out fully. so, seeing him do so turns you on even more, enough for you to take the initiative and strip yourself off the dress, tossing it somewhere in the room.

his eyes land on your chest before looking at you, his grip on your waist tightening as you smile and push your hair to the side. “fuck,” he swears under his breath, and you hide back a smile and begin to grind against him.

he leans in to kiss you once again and it’s as if he can’t seem to get enough of you, his hands go from your waist to your breast, and he squeeze at them lightly. earning bite on his lips from you, “god damnit y/n,” he mumbles.

stopping everything to just look at you, from the way the little number of light shades over your face. how prettily your hair sits on your shoulders, how smooth your skin look and how beautiful it all feels to him. the stare in your eyes, playfully yet trusting and the bite you do to your lips that drives him crazy.

crazy enough that he pushes you back on the bed, earning a gasp from you when his lips  attach to your neck and fingers go straight to your clit.  

he smirks at the way you twitch, quickly capturing your lips again. not so sweetly this time as it gets messier, and faster as if he’s hungry along with his hard dick pressing in you, your hips arching to him as you begin to grind. lips never leaving the others, you two kept on going.

smiling and moaning in between the kisses, you pushing his hair back which makes him smile and squeeze your hips.

“seonghwa, p-please.” you say, his mouth moving down to your jaw to your neck and to your shoulders. knowing he’s leaving his mark on your skin and you couldn’t care less if anyone even found out.

you wanted him to mark you, and you made sure you told him that by responding to every single one of his touches. “you’re so pretty…i can’t believe you’re mine.” he whispers, nuzzling into you while whispering sweet nothings and cooing.

the sudden action making you bite your lips and throw your head back, feeling his hands come up to cup your breasts as he squeezes at them.

his lips curl up in a smirk, “you’ve been waiting, haven’t you?” he pauses to take in your face, the way your eyebrows touch and your mouth that parts a little. “to do this.”

“mhm,” you nod as he slowly brings his hand to your center, you back immediately arches to his hand, and he chuckles.

“how long?”

“since the day you became my guard.”

and with that he wastes no time to pull your panties to the side, finally pressing his slim and long fingers to your already wet self. the moment his fingers touch your clit, you shudder, and he gasps breathily.

he uses his middle finger to run a lap up your folds and you breathe in heavily, your hands now flat against his chest as he flattens his palm against your now needy clit.

his tongue pokes out his mouth, eyeing the way your lips let out sighs and how you close your eyes at the way he begins to move his finger in and out of you.

he slowly starts to insert his fingers inside you and your mouth hangs open, he sees your reaction and inserts another finger in. your body jumping in pleasure, and he quickly pecks your lips, “it’s okay.”

he hums when he runs the tip of his index finger over your already wet pussy before plunging it into your heat and you gaped at the intensity, buying your head seonghwa’s chest.

he slowly starts to move as you throw your part your legs open, he pumps in and out of you at a slow speed, then fastens it. breathy moans flee your pretty lips and it has him fastening his pace even faster, his lips remain attached to your neck while his slim and long fingers move at a fast pace.

you arch your back and move your hips along to his rhythm, “like it?” he mumbles, before delivering on an angle that as your entire body arching up.

“y-yes,” you breathe out, eyes shut.

your hand reaches for seonghwa’s free hand and guide him to your breast “y/n-“ his left hand rid to your left breast, kneading it softly while fingering your clit at different speeds and fumbling with that specific bundle of nerves harshly leaving you whimpering his name out loud.

“hm?” he hums, teeth grazing your skin.

“i’m close!” your eyes are shut tight and the heat coiling in your stomach becoming too much for you.

just as you say that he stops. you let out a cry in frustration and he smirks, “easy there ma’am,” you smile at the ‘ma’am’ “we’ve got a few minutes.”

you open your eyes gently to see him staring down at you, admiring you in a way no one has ever. his stare alone makes you look away and he chuckled lowly at that.

he then hovers over you, his chain hitting your face in the way, and he plants fleeing kisses all over your face, neck, and shoulders, you squirm and chuckle until he cups your cheek. “y/n,” he whispers, eyes looking at you longingly as tears pricks at your eyes. “i’m gonna go in, is that okay?”

you smile and pull him closer by the chain he has on, “i’ve been waiting hwa,” you whisper against his lips.

and then he does it again, inhaling sharply as he admires you. fighting the urge to let out a whimper and begins by pecking every part of you, humming with a smile whenever you run your fingers through his hair.

you hear him unbuckle his pants and it has you biting your lips, thought his eyes never leave yours when doing so. choosing to watch the way your face changes expressions, as if remembering it all as if you’d vanish, he slips his briefs off and his cock slaps his stomach.

his fingers hover over your clit before he slowly pushes them in, your head thrown back and your mouth letting out breathy and airy moans of his names that you’re sure his neighbors can probably loud and clear.

“y/n, please be quiet for me.” he warns but with no ill intent, instead it comes off as a whine in your ear as you bite your lips, arching your back to his fingers.

“no,” your whines don’t stop him from using his slim and long fingers to curl up inside you, his face hidden in your neck while he fingered your already sensitive clit from moments prior.

it’s then when he whispers that he’s about to go in and you cry his name out, the one that had his cock hardening.

“fuck, baby.” he lets out a whine when he eyes your state, “you’ve been a brat but i love it all.”

he then lines his tip, that’s already been coated in pearls of precum to your entrance. holding your hand in his while the other stays on your waist, he enters you, both your lips letting out gasps when you feel one another.

he buries his face in your neck as he starts to move, hearing your moans in his ear as you feel yourself stretch out at his length. he starts slow, as if testing the waters and then picks his speed up.

you let out high pitched yet breathy cries for pleasure and hold onto his shoulders, nails digging in his shoulders, body moving against the bed as he grunts and groans and grinds himself into you.

your head falls back, mouth hangs open as he starts to roll his hips into yours and you let out a cry that echoed the room.

“you feel so- god, so good.” you cry out as he continues to go at different speeds, the room filling with his own loud moans, groans, and growls.

“be quiet for me y/n,” he does a particular thrust that has you biting your lips. “can’t have the nei-“

“fuck your neighbors,” you manage to let out in the state you were in, “f-fuck me.”

he whines, the one that his eyebrows touching. “bossy much?” and chuckles cockily.

“f-fuck yes hwa,” your eyes roll back when he hits that certain spot in you, again and again, you let out a cry, throwing your head back on the pillow while releasing moans and whimpers of his name in pleasure.

he whines and groans into you when he feels you clench around him and he pounds into you again, fast, and hard and deep and you let a loud, pleasurable moan as the heat in you becomes unbearable until you both find yourselves coming down from your highs.

he carefully takes himself out of you and you wince at the sensitivity. sweat lines both your bodies, sex filling air and he slumps down on you, wrapping his arms around you with a peck to your forehead, nose and then he’s about to place on your lips that you pull him to you. burying your face in his chest, he chuckles.

“are you okay?” he asks, gently caressing your hair, he pecks your temple. feeling you hold him tighter, you two stay like this for a while, catching your breaths.

when you lift your head to look at him, “i’m impressed.” he looks at you with half lidded eyes and a boyish grin that makes your heart swell.

“already?” he mocks playfully with a scoff. “wait til-“

“-gosh, keep things a surprise, will you?” you groan, and he nods cutely while poking his tongue out.

it goes quiet for a while, just you to now lying beside one another. chests heaving up and down at a slow pace and your face now turning to his, “hey seonghwa.”

you hear him hum in response, “would you..actually never mind.”

“what is it?” he asks, turning his body towards you.

you shake your head, “c’mon, you’ve got me hooked now.”

“no, it’s just…i don’t think you answer it.” you mumble, sighing after that.

“i probably can’t unless you don’t tell me y/n,” he whispers, nudging your cheek with his nose. “what’s got your pretty little head thinking?”

you swallow, close your eyes, and blurt. “would you….go against my father for me?”

the silence that follows makes you smile a little, knowing the question you asked would be met with nothing but disappointment. “i told you, you wouldn’t be able to answer it.”

when you open your eyes, you find him staring at you with a look you can’t quite decipher, “i’m…”

“that’s fine.” you reassure, patting his chest a stiff grin. “you don’t have to say anything.”

“i don’t have an answer…” he inhales sharply, “just yet.”

you smile, nodding before laying down on your back. falling into yet another round of silence until he speaks.

“thoughts on a hot shower?” he offers, caressing your arms.

“yes, please!”

he lifts himself up on his elbows and holds you by your back, “come on lazy,”

you give him a soft grin, eyes threatening to fall into slumber that he shakes you gently. “don’t sleep on me sweetheart, we’ve got places to be.”

when you don’t respond or move, he stands up, hissing at the cold floor under his feet before lifting you off the bed. your eyes fly open, and a gasp leaves your lips, arms immediately wrapping around his shoulders.

with a laugh he walks to his bathroom, pushing the door open with his feet he turns the light on while you watch him with a grin. he then places you on the counter carefully, pecking your nose before stepping aside to grab a few towels.

just as he’s about to though, the bell to his front door rings. your eyes meet at that, almost as if asking each other who it was.

“oh! must be your neighbors.” you tease, and he chucks a towel at your face. “noise complaint perhaps?”

he shakes his head and looks out the bathroom doorframe with a small frown and then looks at you, “go in first, i’ll go see who it is.”

with that he shuts the bathroom door, grabs his pants and shirt, and hurriedly puts them on as the bell rings again. not once, or twice but thrice.

he doesn’t know why he his stomach drops as he walks closer to open the door, thinking it may just be one of the guys coming to get ready at his place.

with his hand on the doorknob, he hears you call out for him, and he twists open the door after unlocking it, expecting wooyoung or hongjoong at his door.

but what he didn’t expect was your dad standing at his door.

“join me for a walk, seonghwa.”

everywhere you look it feels suffocating, the obnoxious colors of gold and silver blinding your vision along with the ample amount of people in this grand hall of yours. everything was overly luxurious to the point it might start to look tacky.

“you seem awfully distracted at your own celebration,” you roll your eyes at the obnoxious voice of kai. “where’s your guard?”

right, seonghwa.

you can’t find him anywhere, in fact this whole week he’s been absent or rushing somewhere.

“that’s who i’m looking for,” you respond, holding your wine red dress up as you walk past crowds giving you smiles with motives behind them.

you’ve been at this gala ever since it started, meeting people you’ve never seen before who offer or beg you to accept their son as your husband in exchange of power and protection.

you’ve successfully dodged every single one of their attempts, looking for seonghwa instead but you can’t find him anywhere. not even outside, not with hongjoong or wooyoung or even beside your dad.

you’ve sent him countless messages that are either not sent or turned green.

there’s an uneasiness beginning to settle in your gut, a worry of sort that you haven’t seen or heard from him ever since this gala started and it’s almost about to end.

you’ve barely touched the champagne in your hand, eyes roaming around countlessly trying to see just where seonghwa was. you walk past the lavish decorations, ranging from holds and silvers and flowers of all sorts to where you saw wooyoung lined up.

you see the way his eyes lighten up when you walk closer to him, his stiff posture faltering. “wooyoung.”

“hi y/- ma’am!” he quickly corrects himself quickly in a panic. “you look lovely.” he points, and you wave him off with a chuckle.

“have you seen seonghwa?”

“i was actually going to ask you the same,” he says, expression changing when he sees the restlessness on your face. “i haven’t seen him since morning, i figured he was with y-“

“-he isn’t,” you interrupt, fingers gripping the glass tighter as you look over your shoulder. your gaze falls straight on your father who’s busy talking to a number of investors with a laugh. “i’ll, i’ll go look don’t worry!”

with that you begin to walk towards your dad, eyes narrowing and forming into glares because you know your dad’s got something to do with this.

your glass finds itself placed on a waiter’s tray as he walks by as you make your way closer to your dad. your heels click against the marble and as you’re stepping closer, the crowd steps back until you’re finally standing in front of him with a smile.

“hi dad,” you sigh, looking beside him to see an elder man giving you a polite smile. “can we talk?”

“of course,” your dad gives the man beside him and a few others a look before turning to you, “excuse me gentleman.”

you father extends his arm to you, and you give him a stare before smiling stiffly, linking your arm with his before walking to a private space just near the end of the hall.

as you’re walking with your dad through the crowd, many give you two smiles and bows of respect. the action alone makes you cringe, and you look away, jaw clenching and unclenching until you two are finally out of everyone’s hair.

“dad,” you close the door behind you, arms crossing over your chest. “where’s hwa?

your father ticks an eyebrow at your mistake, “who’s that?”

you grit your teeth, “you know exactly who, don’t joke around like this.”

if anyone were to walk in right now, they’d be witnessing a stare down between the father-daughter. your eyes imitated his perfectly, the emotionless glare he sends your way with maybe, a little bit of warmth behind it.

“he’s seonghwa for you.”

“you don’t get to decide that dad.” you enunciate, standing tall now. “where is he.”

the man in front of you shrugs, “he’s at the countryside, doing a job for me.”

“oh?” you raise an eyebrow, “but don’t you usually send your bodyguards there?”

“what do you mean?” he narrows his eyes at you, a frown decorating his face now. “he is one of mine-“

“nuh uh,” you stop him, “seonghwa’s my bodyguard now, i get to decide where he goes and doesn’t.”

“in fact, you’d never send anyone of your men away when you know there’s an event!” you take a step forward, “you want the most protection at these things and sending seonghwa? the one with the most experience here away? just like that?”

“there’s certain things he needs to finish.”

“i don’t trust you,” you blurted, making him snap his eyes at you. “you’ve been having way too many emergency meetings with seonghwa…so much so that he’s barely around.”

“and why are you so worried y/n?” he questions, tone as if jabbing at you. “he’s just your bodyguard, am i right?”

you grow quiet at that, “he’s..”

“we have to keep this a secret.”

“he’s…my friend.” you respond, staring at your dad with a frown. “he’s someone i’ve begun to trust more than anyone in this house.”

“you can’t be friends with guards, they’re not on our level.”

you scoff, “have you gone crazy?” you ask, staring at him in disbelief. “what does that even mean!”

“it means you cannot have any relationships with guards,” he announces, staring into your eyes directly before looking away. “bodyguards are neither friends nor families…they’re just low lives.”

“don’t forget you started from there too dad,” you bite back, eyes now forming into an icy glare. “those low lives of yours put their lives on line for you, they get injured and worse, even killed because of you!”

“that is their job.”

“and yours is to respect them!” you yell back, appalled by this sudden change in your dad’s demeanor that you had never seen before.

“you like seonghwa.”

fuck the secret seonghwa, you think.

“i do.” you admit, voice shaky and you take a step closer. “i like one of your low lives, guess that makes me one too, am i right?”

you father says nothing, and you scoff, running a hand down your face frustratedly. “i like seonghwa- in fact…i’m in love with him.”

you see the way that makes him turn his head towards you, jaw clenching and you inhale sharply. “so, it’s either you watch your mouth da-“

“y/n!” his yell echoes the room, and it makes you wince, “i don’t care if you’re in love with him, break it off.”

“you’re my heir, you can’t be around anyone like him.” he retorts, crossing his hands behind his back. “you inherit this mafia whether you like it or not y/n.”

“i-i don’t want to dad.”

“your brother can’t,” he mumbles, and you realize that now, “you don’t have a choice in this, the day i die…everyone will come to kill you.”

you scoff, hands now behind your back. “break everything off with him, it’s what he’d want as well.”

“you don’t know what he wants!” you grit out, your breathing picking its pace up.  “you don’t know what anyone wants! you just know what you want and what you want others to do for you.”

“seonghwa does not want anything to do with you,” he says, eyes flickering from yours to the window just to the left of the room. “not anymore.”

“i don’t believe it.” your voice drops to a whisper, “not until i hear it from him.”

with that you turn around, hand hovering over the doorknob as your hand begins to shake a little. you then look over your shoulder, seeing how your father doesn’t even spare you a glance but instead looks out the window with a grim.

with a slight shake of your head, your fingers grasp with the doorknob. twisting the door open, just enough for light to hit your face that you father speaks again, and you wish he hadn’t.

“either break up with seonghwa or get on the flight tomorrow morning.”

your heart sinks to your stomach, a shiver running down your body. a spite of sorts forming in you against your father, who once was all your world, someone you believed every word off.  

your ears hear the party outside and at the same time hear the pin drop silence in the room behind you, your eyes fall over the happy faces of the guests, and you look back.

hoping your father would laugh and call it all a joke but all you get is nothing, that alone makes tears form in your eyes and before you let it escalate further, you walk out.

the second you walk out of your house, you burst out into tears. finding a bench just to the far right of your place, you take a seat in the cold alone.

your eyes wander off into the sky, hands wiping the tears streaming down your face uncontrollably. your body then hunches forward, hands holding your head as you shut your eyes.

“break it off with seonghwa.”

“it’s what he’d want.”

“they’re just low lives.”

as sad as it all was, it couldn’t get more beautiful than it already was. with the way the bench was positioned almost directly in front of the big window that shone and showed the bustling party inside.

the pity party your father hosted yearly, this time for you.

“would you go against my father?”

it almost makes you want to laugh, a privileged story of yours where you fall for the forbidden.

it felt like seonghwa was the forbidden fruit you were never allowed near, yet you chose to be nearby. in some sick twisty way, if felt like a way to get back at your father.

you knew if anyone else had found out about this, they’d laugh and call it a ‘sad story’ and then continue on with their lives. seonghwa was the only one who affected you this much, in a way it opened your eyes.

but even on the inside, you knew no one would accept this. this taboo thing they’d call it, having a relationship between the boss and the worker. and as much as everyone else would hate it, you wouldn’t.

you shake your head, pushing your hair back and leaning back on the bench. leaning your face upwards you find yourself staring at the sky, breeze hitting your face and it makes you smile a little.

you stay still for a while and your mind automatically goes through a reel of memories.

“aren’t you supposed to my bodyguard?”

“and aren’t you supposed to be asleep?”

“call me y/n.”

“yes, ma’am.”

“you’re my bestest friend, you know?”

a sigh leaves your lips, and you reach out for your phone, unlocking it and only to be welcomed with a zoomed in photo of seonghwa standing in his bodyguard outfit.

the image alone makes you laugh through your tears, and you dial seonghwa’s number, biting down on your lip you lean back. lifting the phone to your ear, you close your eyes as the ringing echoes in the silence.

your heart rate picks up as the anticipation of hearing seonghwa’s voice increases and it’s as if right on that moment, your body jolts up when you hear his monotone voice.

“hi! this is seonghwa..” and it goes straight to voicemail.

you bite the inside of your lower lip, bringing the phone down slowly and pressing the red button before placing the phone beside you upside down.

“y/n.”

all you can do is hum, gaze looking ahead into nothing with a blank stare. that is until, footsteps walking through the grass make your ears perk up.

if this was an assassination attempt, it would’ve been successful because you did not move from your spot.

“it’s me, your fav- actually second! favorite person.”

“go away kai.”

he smiles, looking around before taking a seat beside you loudly. arm over your shoulders and a reassuring grin on his face, “what’s up!” he beams, looking all over your face.

“you didn’t like the food inside?” he asks, “they had caviar-“

“kai,” you begin, turning your head towards him and he catches the tiredness on your face. “what would you do…”

“i’d go eat fir- ow!” he whines at the slap you gave his arm, “fine, fine, shoot away.”

“what would you do if…if you were given the option to either break up or leave.”

kai smiles, the one with his cheeky dimples and he leans his head back. “i’d fight.” eyes on the sky.

“kai.”

“i mean i would!” he argues, “if that was my last resort, i’d fight for the one i love, you know?”

“as cliche as it sounds, loving someone isn’t a crime. if you love someone, why are you afraid, haven’t you heard?”

“what?”

“people can fight wars just for love,” he looks down at you, lifting his hand to pat your head twice. “look if love was a driving force, i’d have no license.”

he then turns his body towards you, “you want seonghwa more than you thought you did, so what if he’s not your dad’s ideal choice- he’s your choice isn’t he?”

but what if you’re not seonghwa’s choice?

you nod, “…but dad.”

“you know,” he shuffles on his seat, “for a moment, your dad doesn’t exist. what will stop you from him?”

you share a look with kai, swallowing before looking down. “see? no one, kill your da-“ you smack his arm again with a glare and he pokes his tongue out at you.

“seonghwa does not want anything to do with you…not anymore.”

with a sigh you pat his hand, “thanks kai,” standing up and holding your dress up. “if my dad suddenly dies, i know who did it.”

he says nothing but shoots a finger gun at you with a grin, “i’m,” you point at your house. “gonna go inside.”

“already?” he asks, looking behind you. “you don’t wanna say hi to seonghwa?”

“he’s at the countryside.” you mumble, shoulders slumping and eyes squinting at the window behind.

kai stands up, placing his on your shoulders before turning you around. leaning down and then pointing at the front door, “your boyfriends waiting outside silly.”

your eyes grow wide, heartbeat picking up as you look through the iron rods of the gate to make out a silhouette kicking rocks.

and before you know it, you’re running down the path to him. a smile on your lips growing with every step you take towards him, and when you’re finally nearing the gates, you can make his outline out much better.

he’s dressed in a regular suit, but he looks better than anyone at this party. hair slightly disheveled, tie a little loose and hands holding something.

“hwa!” you yell, catching his attention with your voice and the wave of your hand.

once his eyes fall on you running towards him, his lips crack into a smile. hand lifting automatically to wave back, “y/n!”

“hi,” you pant, stopping just before the gates that you now know is locked. “sorry..the door is locked for some reason.” you say in between catching breaths.

“hi y/n,” his voice alone makes you melt, your eyes look at him and they almost tear up. “you look stunning.” he manages to let out, looking at you up and down he wished the door wasn’t dividing you two, so that he could at least hold you.

“why aren’t you inside?”

you smile, “because…i saw you here.”

he returns a soft smile before shoving something in his pocket and walking closer, but since the gates were closed, he could only walk until his chest hit the gates. instead, he extends his hand out for you to take.

which you do, with an excitement because after the talk with your dad and not seeing seonghwa, something in you wanted his reassurance.

“can we talk?”

your smile falters a little, holding his hand. “o-of course.”

“actually, u-uh, at first.” he fishes through his pocket and pulls a small rectangular box out. you’re unable to see it properly due to the streetlight being away from where you stood and the front gates light that kept flickering. “i got this for you.”

he extends the box towards you from the slim space between the iron rods, you reach out for it with a smile and opening it gently. your mouth parts in a gasp, “oh my god, seonghwa…”

he smiles under the light, “do you like it?”

you nod, looking down at the box you held that had a small silver chain in it. a small ruby red bead as it’s pendant, “i love it! are you kidding?!”

“where…how did you get it?”

he rubs the back of his neck, eyes not meeting yours in what you can only is assume is his shyness. “i saw it on my way back here…i was a little late wasn’t i? you’ve bought me plenty of stuff..so it was only right for me to get you something.”

“you didn’t have to,” you mumble, fingers caressing the chain. and then you look up, “what did you want to talk about?”

“ah,” his face drops, eyes meeting the ground.

“i want to talk about us.”

you smile a little, closing the box before giving him your attention. “of course, w…what did you want to talk about?”

“y/n, don’t you think,” he swallows. “we…we should just remain as friends?”

“w-what?” your voice cracks.

his eyes remain glued to the ground, “we shouldn’t be together.”

“it’s dangerous for us to be together.” he mumbles, fingers now wrapping around the rods tighter at the silence. “if anyone found out about us, you could be in danger.”

“did my dad tell you to say all of this?” you ask, feeling your stomach churn. “you don’t have to listen to him seonghwa-“

“no.” he answers, “this is what i think...what we have should’ve never happened in the first place.”

“we are two different people, classes, professions, personalities…everything!”

“why does that matter...” you whisper, “why does it all matter when i don’t care for it, w-why?”

“i’m sorry but,” he looks up, eyes meeting your teary ones and he hears a crack in his voice. “it does matter, when i’m someone you shouldn’t even be friends with, you’re meant for the riches..we aren’t meant to be.”

you feel as if the world has slipped from under your, trying to understand what’s happening around you or what he’s saying because it all sounds unreal.

“i thought that maybe this would last a month,” he whispers, his knuckles growing whiter at the grip he has on. “but it’s only grown ever since.”

“i-i never expected us to go this far, with each day that does by...i can’t help but think we’re not meant to be.” he mumbles, and you feel your heart drop to your stomach, “you’re my boss’s daughter and i’m just worker.”

“seo-“

“i can’t live up to your standards y/n,” your tears that welled up in your eyes are now rolling down your cheeks. “i don’t have a proper house, i don’t even have enough money to keep you happy…”

he looks at you, his own eyes glassy. “i have nothing y/n, i’m nothing.”

“are you done?” you ask, voice just above a whisper and his heart sinks at how frail you sound.

“y/-“

“you’re everything to me.” you whisper, your hand reaching out to hold his, tears streaming down your face. “you’ve been more than anything to me, i don’t care for what you do for living or if you have the money or not, i love you god damnit!”

he clenches his jaw, eyes wide at your words. “you’ve been there for all the times i needed you, you know me more than i know myself! how can you say that..seonghwa please, please don’t listen to my dad.”

he hears you sniffle and looks away, “y/n, please.”

“no seonghwa,” you say, voice shaky and low. “i..i thought you liked me for me.”

“you out of everyone knows how much i hate when my dad controls everything about me,” you inch closer, eyes on him. “so..why? is it because he did everything for you?”

“n-“

“is it because you can’t go against him?”

“i..i,”

“i, what!” you raise your voice, “i don’t believe anything you’re saying!”

“…i like someone else.” he says, voice nothing but a whisper.

“w-what?”

he nods, eyes on the ground. “i like someone else y/n.."

what he says is something you wished he never said, maybe even kept it as a secret. “i don’t trust you.” you bite back, and you wish he’d look you in the eye, just once to say he’s lying. “you’re lying and you know it.”

but instead, he shakes his head, “i’m not lying y/n.” and it makes you swallow the warm, painful lump in your throat.

“you’re not even looking me in the eye,” you whisper, “please don’t do this seonghwa…we’re so good together, you know that too.”

“we were never good together,” he replies, running a hand down his face and you know he’s biting back tears with the way he bites his lips. “i found someone who matches me.”

“someone who isn’t like you.”

you shut your eyes, jaw clenching and unclenching as a pounding headache begins to from in your head with all the tears framing your face.

the wind now feels more colder, it feels as if it’s slapping you in your face. your hair stands moving along it as you listen to his calming voice tell you stuff you’ve never wanted to hear.

“call me y/n.”

“yes ma’am.”

“s-someone who matches me well.”

“i was going to ask if you were dating anyone.”

“why?”

“i don’t like to share.”

“someone quieter, not loud or annoying-“

“…you found me annoying?” you ask, and he inhales sharply at that. “and loud?”

“go on,” you urge, a small smile on your face despite the obvious. “what else did you find me?”

“i-i didn’t mean it like that-“

“what else is she like?” you swallow, “quieter? has more manners? isn’t childish? hates the riches? hates flowers? is the better version of me?”  

“she’s everything i’m not, am i right?” you ask, hand falling to your sides. when he doesn’t respond, a bitter smile makes its way in your lips. “…hm, then she must be great.”

“y/n,” he whispers, and you take a step back, the action makes his heartbeat ring in his ears. “i didn-“

“didn’t what?” you ask, face holding no expression. “didn’t want to hurt me?”

when he nods you breathe loudly through your nose, a hand running through your hair frustratedly. “you know dad didn’t want me to be with you…” you begin, “i told him otherwise, he said you never wanted anything to do with me..i said i wanted to hear that from yo-“

“i don’t want anything to do with you.” he whispers, and you hear the way he says that. full of nothing, no emotion or anything.

you smile despite the tears blurring your vision, “right.”

it goes quiet for a while, just the two of you standing in silence. him on the other side of your house while you stand behind the gates, it described you two perfectly.

seonghwa and you were two different people who never stood on the same level, everything your dad said echoed in your mind.

“that’s their job.”

“they’re not on our level.”

you want to yell and scream and cry at him, tell him that’s not the case. to beg him that, that’s not the case.

“d-did you mean everything you said?” you ask, in some way hopefully that he’s lying to you, that he’d tell you the truth.

“everything.” he says.

you nod shakily, exhaling before looking over your shoulder. “every…every date meant nothing?”

“n-nothing.”

“every gift?”

he nods.

“and that red pendant?”

he nods again, though, slower.

“okay,” you say, nodding before turning around. back facing him and it’s one thing you thought you’d never do or be driven to a point where you had to.

you begin to walk away from, leaving him standing behind the gates. eyes on the ground and never lifting up, even if he wanted to. hiding his own emotions he turned around, back pressed against the iron gates.

“take a picture with me then…because i want to have a memory of you.“

“well, it’s not like i’m going anywhere, i’m still here, but! since i’m really nice we’ll take one.”

“a memory,” he scoffs to himself, head leaning back on the gates as he closes his eyes. “a stupid memory.”

five years later.

the day you’d come back was one your father truly looked forward too, with the tearful sending that was laced with hatred and anger. he wished for your safety above all, and on top of the above all, he wished for the safety of everyone inside this house.

those who now scurry around cleaning the house meticulously, mumbling to each other in panic, hurry and almost a fearful turn.

it’s like everyone knew when the announcement of you would echo across this building, a wave of silence would follow.

a silence full of fear.

with the way everything happened years ago, they knew you wouldn’t return the same.

maybe that’s what their fear was.

“i told you to not go in her room!” your father yells, a cough following suit.

“y-yes, sir!”

with a temporary grim on his face, he walks around, hands behind his back as he watches the cleaning, redecorating, rebuilding of his house. in his heart, preparing for you to grace his eyes.

“yunho, mingi,” he turns around to face the new set of guards that were recently employed. “have everyone line up by the entrance tomorrow, put on your best suits as well.”

“we will sir,” they both say in sync, bowing to their boss that is until, mingi, the dark blue haired one pops a question. “but why the suits, sir?”

“my daughter is picky.” your father answers, swallowing a little.

they both bow once again, “we’ll keep that in mind, enjoy your time with miss tonight.”

“oh and,” he stops them, “send seonghwa to my office.”

“we’re very excited to have you back, boss is putting on his best for you!” the driver says, looking in the rear mirror to see you staring out the window. “w-“

“put the partition up.”

he stiffens, swallowing before complying and putting the divider up. isolating you to the backseat and him to the driver side, your eyes meet his as the wall levels up before they move out the window.

coincidentally at the moment where your house was in view, your eyes land on the ever so prestige estate that you left years back. before you used to have a love-hate relationship with this place, where you were sheltered and hidden away from everything.

where you experienced your first and last of everything.

now coming back to it felt, empty but comforting. comforting that you were finally home after years of being lost and thrown into the world you never wanted.

when you left, you were devastated because of everything. you never wanted to come back, never wanted face anyone. but you knew you had to come back, so you became the person you never wanted to become in the first place.

opening the door to your maybach, you step out. your heel clacking against the pavement as you do so, grabbing your bag you shut the door behind to look at your house.

a scoff leaves your lips as you look over it, eyes wandering to every corner until they stop at your balcony. and you remember how you used to sneak out nights through there, falling and hurting yourself one second and the other being bombarded with the dogs.

you then turn around to look at the iron gates and your smile drops.

“d-did you mean everything you said?”

“everything.”

“ma’am, your father’s waiting inside.” you snap back to reality and inhale, “this way.”

with every step you take towards the entrance, your heartbeat increases. mentally preparing yourself to see everything and everyone after years.

but when your eyes land at your living room, they widen in disgust as you step inside your place, seeing the outrageous decorations hanging around at your arrival. “w-what’s going on?” you ask the driver who looked at it all with the same look as you.

“i…i don’t know ma’am,” he stutters, and you shake your head, “but your father,” he points to your right. “this way.”

you nod, following behind him while your eyes look all over. as if they’re trying to find someone while you heart wants you to look away in case you do see that someone, but you’re glad you only see a handful of maids working around.

who, at your appearance gasp and bow. “welcome back ma’am!”

to which you’d respond with a small smile, ducking your head down and following the driver who walked you through your own home. what a day it has come you think.

“he’s sitting here for the day,” you smile and bow at the man who now leaves you alone, standing inside your dad’s outdoor study.

“y/n, my dear, you’re back.”

you hear his raspy voice tickle your ear and it’s been years since you’ve heard him, sure the occasional phone calls were present, but you’d hang up whenever you’d hear anyone else in the background.

“father.” you say, hands in front of you. watching him spin on his swivel chair, dressed in hoodie that says something about your brother’s university. you find your cat nestled just beside him on the cat bed and it makes you smile a little.

“y/n,” he lifts his arms in the air, getting up from his beloved chair and walking towards you with a smile.

you manage to smile a little, retuning his hug half-heartedly before he offers you to take a seat, which you do as if you haven’t been on a flight where you sat for hours straight.

“how have you been?” he asks, pouring you tea from the fine china set you know your mom bought at an auction.

“good.” you keep it short, eyes wandering the sunroom study of his. “did you renovate it?”

“you know your mom and her tendencies,” he replies, sliding you the cup which you quietly take.

“where is she?”

“yearly trip to the maldives with her friends,” you nod, impressed by it slightly, maybe even jealous that she gets vacations while you stay here and deal with your dad.

“how have you been y/n,” he asks again, getting comfortable in his chair as you cross your legs, stirring the tea slightly.

“i already answered that, father.”

he nods, “are you still upset?”

“over what?” you sip, eyes falling over him.

“five y-“

“yes,” you respond quickly, “very, actually.”

you hear him sigh as you sip on the tea more, raising your pinky. “right, well, your rooms the same as before.”

you nod, placing the cup down and facing him. “you’ll be looking over the guards tomorrow.”

“for?”

“to have your own private ones,” he says, coughing a little. “like i did. you’re now what i used to be so it only makes sense for you to have everything now.”

“everything?” you tick an eyebrow, “i have a request father.”

“go on.”

“please stop controlling me from now on,” you mumble, “i am capable enough to make my decisions, in fact, i was since the beginning.”

“as you wish.”

“don’t question my decisions,” you stand up, bowing your head. “and for the guards, i don’t need them.”

“y/n.” ah, there it was, that tone he uses on you when he’s about to scold you. “my last decision in your life is for you to have private guards.”

“the last decision of yours ruined me father,” you say, voice monotone. “and i don’t wish for it to happen again.”

“this decision won’t y/n,” he argues, thought his voice doesn’t raise. “you’re going to have new guards, and that is done. tomorrow meet me at the foyer, everyone will be there.”

everyone.

you scoff, “quit it dad.”

your dad didn’t quit, in fact he pestered you into following him out to the foyer. after him basically dragging you out of your room, which one, you barely got to step a foot in and two, barely got you enough sleep.

“can we hurry this up?” you ask, irritated already with waking up early since your jet lag is still so strong. “i need a few hours to myself.”

“hm,” he says, walking a few steps ahead before pausing and you feel your heartbeat begin to accelerate. “everyone, meet my daughter y/n.”

“it’s lovely meeting you ma’am.”

“i’m to be by your side whenever you go out at all times, it’s nice to meet you ma’am.”

you watch them all bow in unison, and you give a small, awkward smile. ignoring the obvious faces from the past who look at you with shiny eyes, which almost make you crack.

“as you all know," your father announces and you stand behind him, feeling stares burn through you. “my daughter here requires a private unit to be by her at all times, i have seen your progresses over the month and selected a few of you alr-“

“i’ll decide my own guard’s father,” you interrupt him, making the hall get quiet. “at least, let me do that.”

he gives you a quick look before nodding, and you come to stand in front of the two rows of guards. “being my guard isn’t easy.” you mumble, “and if you’re not up for it, you can leave to your daily routines.”

you look around and when no one moves, you smirk. “alright,” you look to your left, extending your hand out to your dad. “their files.”

“here,” he grins, pointing behind him and you see a mountain of them being held by a worker.

just the sight of it gives you a headache, “forget it.” and you walk down the line.

eyes squinty as everyone straightens up, standing tall and feet apart, hands neatly folded behind their back. your heels click against the marble flooring as you walk down the first line, eyeing every single one of them who either display no expression or get taken aback.

“you,” you say out loud, pointing your hand at the guy with blond hair standing at the very end. “come here.”

“sweetheart, he’s a newbie.” your father whispers to you and your eyes keep looking at the blondie walking to you with a shy smile.

“that’s alright dad,” you reply, eyeing the man up and down. “people can learn along the way.”

but there’s a man standing at the far end of the second line, gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw. that’s all too familiar to you, from the black outfit, the sharp undercut and the annoyingly stunning side profile that makes you want to yell.

though he grits his jaw, he catches onto the new you. how you’ve changed, no longer the bright and cheery y/n but a colder, monotone-voiced y/n. and he can’t help but blame himself for it. 

“it’s like you’d be protecting him more than he’d be protecting you.” he whispers, eyes forming into glares as he watches the newbie walk towards you, knowing he isn’t half as qualified to be your guard and knowing you’re outright ignoring him.

“name?”

“choi san.”

you nod, “good, you’re hired.” and you turn around, “any objections, father?”

“y/n-“

“i object.”

your eyes immediately find your dads when you hear the new yet familiar voice, “i do too-“

“my decision is made, choi san-“ you look over your shoulder and you make an eye contact with two tall guys at the end. “and you two twin towers at the end, you’re hired.”

“sir, if i m-“

you lift a hand, “ah, my decision is mine.” and you look back at the front. “anything else?”

“i’d like to object.” this time you hear footsteps coming closer and it makes your heart drop to your stomach.

you feel a presence behind you before you hear that increasingly familiar deep voice.

“the three you have chosen, ma’am.” you shut your eyes at the familiar voice filling in your ears. his presence behind you, with that deep, soothing, and calm voice that now sounds rigid and demanding. “won’t be able to guard you, it’s like you’d be protecting the guard more than they would.”

“the new recruit line is barely halfway through basic training ma’am,” god, that ma’am. “i strongly advise picking someone else as their skill sets are nowhere near qualified to be guards right now.”

you raise an eyebrow and slowly open your eyes, seeing everyone in the lines stiffen up. and for the first time, you turn around to look that voice in the eye and dare question. “and you are?”

jaw locked, hair brushed back with one strand falling over his forehead, eye that darkened ever so slightly, hands neatly behind his back. just being in his presence makes your breathing waver but looking directly in his eyes makes you want to cry.

“park seonghwa.”

“seonghwa,”

“seong! hwa!”

“hwa!”

“seong-seong!”

“and who do you advise i pick?” you ask, voice shaky.

“i have almost a decade of experience working under your father and being a protector of your family...” he inhales, patting his chest and you catch the sight of a black band on his ring finger, and it makes you look away. “and a few of those years were as your own bodyguard, ma’am.”

“and?”

“i believe my skills are far better than anyone here, it’ll only be more advantageous to have me as your bodyguard...” he pauses, looking over your face for a second longer. “again.”

“my bodyguard?” you ask, eyebrows shooting to your forehead. “and yet i was still in life threatening positions with you, wasn’t i?”

“i-“

“zip it.” you look behind him, eyes forming into slits. “you three, office now.”

“yes ma’am.”

“y/n, seonghwa was right!” you hum mindlessly, playing with the food on your plate.

“i agree.” you roll your eyes at kai’s appearance, sitting on the big dining table with you and your dad and two cooks at the far end.

you then turn to your left, “you’re suddenly praising him?” you pique, looking down at your dad with a suspicious look. “wasn’t he your low life?”

“you called him a low life!?” kai yells, his plate clacking as he stood up and you wave him off.

your dad grows quiet at that, “…i didn’t mean to say that y/n.”

you stop midway, “really?” you ask, “i don’t trust you.”

“there’s a lot of things i regret doing y/n,” he says, placing his fork and knife down. “but i had reasons for it.”

“and what were they?”

you dad looks at kai and he takes the memo to leave, although, a little late, but he does. leaving you and him alone in the room, him at to your left. just the talk with him has a sinking feeling growing in your stomach, jaw clenching and unclenching before exhaling.  

“for you to take over his family, you needed no distractions.” he begins, hands folding in front of him. “and if you kept them, my family would’ve been gone.”

“distractions?” you mock. "sending me to your fucking training academies where they beat the shit out of you? that? that’ll help me take care of this family?”

“as bad as it sounds, it works y/n.” he explains, looking over your face for a few moments and seeing a small scar under your eye and dread washes over him. “i was sent there, it worked for me- i had to send you there.”

“or you’d send your youngest,” you bite back, a slight tick in your jaw. “but i wouldn’t have let that happen. even if i have stated how rotten your business is and how much i hate it, i couldn’t escape it.”

no matter how much you’d want to blame your father for everything, you knew he did it for you. but you still have bitter feelings about the way he did it all, yet you’re unable to tell him. being rasied in this environment, you were bound to do this. 

“i still can’t and will not drag him in it,” you refer to your sibling, because he gets scared shitless from the sight of ladybugs. you couldn’t possibly see him fighting for his life. “he’ll never be involved in this business, no one after me will take this place.”

“i will not operate this mafia like you did,” he nods, “if i have the chance to end this, i will and you will not stop me.”

“i won’t.”

“i want to end this.” you mumble, jaw relaxing and eyes falling over your father who looks at you with regret, maybe even shame if you look in too deeply. “i will end this mafia, i want a normal life.”

“you wouldn’t have gone if i never did that y/n..” you scoff. 

“i’m sorry for all that y/n,” he mumbles, placing his hand on top of yours. “there is nothing i can say but sorry, if i hadn’t done this, i would’ve lost you all.”

“and to keep you, my family alive.” he taps your hand twice, "i can do anything.”

“ev-“

“even send you there, yes.”

a scoff leaves your lips, “that’s a really shitty excuse, dad.”

he smiles and for the first time since you’ve arrived it feels genuine, “well now you can beat me up for it, pow pow!”

“stop, ew.” you cringe, and he chuckles, drowning down water as you shake your head.

“and what about seonghwa,” he asks the second his glass touches the table.

“nothing about him.” your tone is dismissive, and he picks up on it, growing a little because seeing this side of you, he can’t help but blame himself for that.

but he knows if anyone was to bring your old side back, it’ll only be in the hands of seonghwa. who, he knew, would give him trouble one day.

“you’re not going to meet him or talk to him?” the elder presses further, mind spewing up some way to get you two to talk or exchange a hi’s or hello’s or how was your days.

“no.” you respond, placing the cutlery down and promptly being reminded of that ring on his finger.

“i like someone else.”

“he offered to be your guard again,” you hum, eyes on the plate with an empty expression. “i agree with him, he is qualified and has been  your bodyguard before too-“

“dad,” you interrupt, pushing your chair back and tapping your feet on the ground. “you know exactly what happened, what you did and how it went down.”

“but you should talk to him,” he says, eyes following you. “he’s…he’s got a lot to say-“

“i’m not interested in talking to him or having him as my bodyguard again.”

and with that you take your leave, walking out the door with shaky hands and when you begin to walk down the hallway. you abruptly stop at the scene of seonghwa and kai standing in front of you, their heads turning to you in sync.

“y/n.”

“ma’am.”

“i told you my name’s y/n.”

“goodnight.” you mumble, eyes looking everywhere else but the larger man in a suit.

“y/n!” kai calls out, a small smile on his face as he watches you try and escape this situation knowing full well that’s the last thing you’d want.

“how about,” he looks at seonghwa, who’s eyes never leave you even if you don’t look at him. “you two old friends catch up?”

“uh, kai i-i have to leave,” you stated, giving kai a nasty glare. “i’m tired and i need sleep.”

“just ten minutes.”

you freeze at his voice, calm yet eager. “can we talk just for ten minutes?”

kai gives you an encouraging smile and you turn to him, stopping when your gazes meet.

his eyes still looked the same, wide, shiny, and endearing. the ones that still made you want to run in his arms, stare into for hours while he holds you to his chest and nuzzles into you.

“i..i don’t have time right now,” you answer, looking at kai tight smile. “tomorrow, let’s do that tomorrow.

you knew you shouldn’t have come back because all you see is seonghwa everywhere, you had hoped he quit his job, so you didn’t have to face him, and he didn’t have to work under your dad.  

every time you walk down a hallway, you’re always greeted with him walking past you. and it reminds you of all the times you had been with him, whether it be chasing him down hallways or to walk behind him whining something about the defense lesson.

at that time, you would’ve never thought any of this could be possible, he didn’t think it would be either.

he didn’t think not seeing you every day for the past five years would hurt him as much as it did, or how not seeing or hearing you would become a routine he’d have to force himself to fit in.

so, when he was called in by your father in his office, the first thing he remembers hearing is. “you better up your trainings seonghwa.”

and he knew you were returning.

as happy and overjoyed he was to see you, he was equally desperate to tell you the truth. but he knew you’d never want to see him, that’s what terrified him. to become nothing but a memory to you, a memory who never got to explain itself.

So, he interrupted your hiring procedure or whatever that was, outing himself as the right person to guard you for as long as he can. after all, he was meant to be your right-hand man at all times.

not only did he do that so that you’d look at him in the eye or speak to him or reject his duties, but he did it because he couldn’t imagine anyone else besides him to stand by you.

and maybe get a chance to explain himself, but all he’s got his avoided stares, small talks, dismissing him and pretending he doesn’t exist.

as much as it breaks him, he knows he deserves it. all the times you’ve ignored him, he can’t be upset because at least, you’re there, at least, you’re in front of his eyes.

but maybe his hopes of reconciling with you won’t come true since you’ve dismissed any of his advances of him doing his duty or having a civil conversation with him.

“yunho, where’s the car?” you ask with a raised eyebrow, tapping your feet on the pavement outside your house.

“i-i, it should be here ma’am!”

“we’ve been waiting for half an hour, jeong yunho.” you grit, “i have places to be and you had one job to do, right?”

yunho bows down quickly, “i’m so sorry, this all is new to me so i got the wrong car-“

but he’s interrupted by the loud honking of a black range rover pulling into the roundabout before he can explain himself, catching you off-guard. “is that the one you got?” you ask, eyes on the car that comes to stop in front of you.

“n-no, ma’am.”

and before you’re about to respond, the front door to the car opens and out comes seonghwa with his dark sunglasses, prim and proper outfit, and a smile you’ve missed.

“the car, ma’am.” he says with a bow of his head, and you swallow, giving yunho a look who only returns a small smile.

“i’ll take the other one,” you say, taking a few steps away from the two but only to be stopped by seonghwa’s loud voice.

“ma’am, please.” your grip your bag tighter at that. “you’ll be late for your meeting, please take the car.”

he watched your back turn to him and swallowed, head down and hands behind his back. “i’ll let yunho driv-“

“i hope you know the address.” he hears you say, walking past him and he pauses for a second. eyes blinking repeatedly at what he heard that is until yunho pats his chest with a cheeky smile and a wink.

“i-i do!”

when you told seonghwa you’d sit down and have a talk with him, you didn’t expect yourself to be this nervous to be in his presence. it felt as if every emotion you had felt in the past five years hit you like a truck.

with the constant messages from kai encouraging you by sending emojis and memes and gifs that only made you want to hide from seonghwa.  

So, standing outside the door to where he stood made butterflies sprout in your stomach, it felt as if you were seeing him again for the first time.

your hand on the doorknob stays still for a while before you inhale and twist it, opening the door and immediately you’re faced with seonghwa standing at the far side of the room, back facing the door while he looks out the balcony.

you swallow before entering, closing the door behind before making your way towards him. and it’s as if your memory became a film, it played out the moments you had with him.

“i’m park seonghwa, your new bodyguard from now on. i’m to be by your side whenever you go out at all times, it’s nice to meet you ma’am.”

“my names y/n not ma’am!”

“you know they should keep you in museums.”

“you’re cute.”

“you’re so pretty…i can’t believe you’re mine.”

“i like someone els-“

“y/n.”

you snap out of your thoughts, gaze falling on him with a soft smile. “seonghwa.”

his lips pull into a smile, and he gestures for you to take a seat at the couch set in front of him, you nod and take a seat. he follows suit and sits opposite you.

for the first few minutes, none of you know what to say. you’re looking everywhere but him but he’s looking at you as if you’re the only person to ever walk this earth.

he looks at you with fond stare, one that studies you with a soft look. he fiddles with his fingers and inhales before finally speaking. “h-how are you?”

your heart skips a beat, “good.”

“it’s raining,” he points, and you nod. “your favoutite.”

“i hate the rain.” you respond, and he stops.

“b-but you loved rain?”

you grit your jaw, “i loved a lot of things.” you answer, alluding to the past.

“i’m sorry.” he says right after, head down and eyes shut. “i’ve been wanting to apologize for everything that happened.”

“for what?” you ask, obviously knowing exactly what happened but you want him to say it to you.

he lifts his head up a little and you spot the way the glint in his eyes change for a split second, embarrassment or even maybe even shame but definitely remorse.

“i found someone who matches me.”

“someone who isn’t like you.”

“for dumping me?” you ask, voice shaky and eyes slightly teary. “or saying all of that with no thought of how it’ll affect me?”

“someone quieter, not loud or annoying-“

“…you found me annoying? and loud?”

“i..” he begins, hands curling into fists as he inhales and exhales. “i want to apologize for pushing you away the way i did, i..i didn’t mean anything i said that day y/n please trust me-“

“you weren’t held on gunpoint seonghwa,” you whisper, “you could’ve not said anything.”

“i was told to break it off with you.” he swallows, and you look down. “so that you’d leave.”

he continues, “when…when you were at my place, your dad had come to meet me and i never told you about it.”

“join me for a walk, seonghwa.”

“y-yes sir.” he says, looking over his shoulder and then on the ground before his eyes widen at the sight of your shoes beside his.

nevertheless, he follows your father outside his complex. following the shorter man who’s stride rivaled power, someone who he always respected above anyone else.

“do you like my daughter, seonghwa?”

his head snaps up, “what?”

“you heard me,” his boss says, “are you dating her?“

when he gave no response, your father already knew. with the way his men are everywhere, this would’ve never slipped past him. how could it? you two went out to places every week with each other, in areas where only sketchy people would be found. it’s no wonder he knows.

“i’m extremely sorry sir,” he says, “y-you can fire me or cut my hands like you said..but i do like your daughter, quite a lot sir.”

“how much should i pay you to break it off then?”

his lips part in surprise, “s-sir?”

“a million or a two? or a blank check?”

“i..i’m sorry but i can’t accept any of that sir.” he replies, a frown on his face that he can’t hide. “you’ve known me since i was a child, i’m not attached to money like that— i have never been.”

“i have always trusted and respected your decisions but…as much as i hate to disrespect you..” he says, “i will not break the relationship i have with your daughter, sir.”

“i will fire you.”

he then stands tall, “then please do so.”

“yet you still did it.” he hears you whisper, and he swears he heard a crack of his heart. "you still followed him; you couldn’t go against him no matter seonghwa!“

“tell her you want nothing to do with her, seonghwa.” he says. “that’s the only way she’d leave.”

“sir, that’s-“

“i know, but i have no option.” He looks down, “i can’t let her fall behind because of you.”

“i wanted you to!” you burst out, catching him by surprise. “i thought at least you’d be on my side! we could’ve done it together; we could’ve gone against him together!”

you then stand up, running a hand down your face irritatedly. “gosh this is so stupid, it wasn’t even real right?” you ask, glancing at his hunched figure and your eyes go straight to his hands and spit that ring. “i wanted it to be so real, because i loved you seonghwa.”

“it was a silly little fling,” you whisper, “right? where we just hide behind the doors and do our thing and then break it off because you found someone else!”

you nod, “right, that’s what it was…but i loved you..and you didn’t, and that’s what hurt me the most.”

“y/n…”

“call me ma’am.” you whisper, nodding to yourself and taking a few steps back.

“i didn’t care that you called me loud or annoying.. or the class difference between us.” he lifts his head up, seeing you take slow steps back away from him and for a second it hits him. “i wanted you to be with me..despite what my father had told you.”

“i knew he’d come to ask you all of this,” he hears you say, “which is why i kept telling you to not listen to him, to maybe..just maybe go against him for once and break your good boy image.”

“i just wanted to have you.”

it hits him that he’s about to lose you again, for the second time.

and it feels so real that his heart drops when you turn your back to him.

“i quit.”

you stop, your sniffles ringing the room as you use the back of your hand to wipe your tears away.

“the next day after we split,” you shut your eyes, “i quit working under your dad, in fact, me, hongjoong, yeosang and wooyoung all did.”

“what is this seonghwa?”

“my resignation, sir.” he announced, bowing at his waist. “it’s been a pleasure working for you but it’s time i quit.“

“i couldn’t live like that,” he mumbles, rising to his feet and taking a few steps closer to you. Eyes softening and heart sinking. “so right after i quit, i went to look for you.”

“but i left that same night.”

“but you left.”

“i didn’t know until your dad told me, how you were sent away for god knows how long.” he whispers, voice cracking and you hear him sniffle. “and i didn’t know when you’d come back…how you’d be like or if you’d even want to look at me.”

“if you quit working, why are you still here?” you ask, heart beating fast and brain spiralling.

“..because i was told you’ll be coming back.” his whispers tug at your heart, “and i couldn’t afford to miss it. i couldn’t let someone else take my spot.”

“i spent the last five years, trying to reach out to you through mails but i didn’t know your address.” he explains, “i looked for your number but you changed it, i kept looking and looking but then i realized wherever you were, you’d be safer there than here.”

“i wanted you to be safe at the end of the day,” he takes a few steps closer until his front hits your back. “even if it meant breaking up with you.”

“because i loved you,” he says, voice a whisper but a gentle one. his hand slowly reaches for yours from the back, “..and have for the past five years and still counting.”

“you may have said it first,” he holds your hand gently, his larger palm fitting with yours perfectly. “but i wish i did, so at least you wouldn’t hate me.”

“i don’t hate you,” you sigh.

“but what’s the point of it all now?” you ask, turning around to look at his tear-stained face. you reach out for his hand and lift it up beside your face, pointing at his finger. “you’re already married.”

“all of this..” you shake his hand all while he stares at you with wide eyes, “it doesn’t matter anymore.”

he shakes his head, “it does y/n, you’re m-“

“are you going to cheat on your wife now?” you ask, eyes blown wide despite the tears welling up in them. “you’re married and yet you’re here professing your love for me while she wai-“

“-y/n.”

“no!” you stop him, letting go of his hand to take a step back. “are you really go-“

“y/n,” he stammers, trying to hold onto your escaping hand. “y/n, y/n, listen to me-“

“i’m not going to do this seonghwa,” you stumble back, hands in the air and eyes on the ground.

but before you have the chance to take another step back or say anything else. his hand reaches out to grab you by the wrist, abruptly pulling you to him.

a squeak leaves your lips when you’re jerked forward, your face meeting his chest and his hands wrapping around your waist, face buried in your neck.

“i’m not married,” he whispers, and your hands fall to your sides, a tired sigh leaves you, closing your eyes and burying yourself in his chest.

“what about that ring then?” you ask, voice dropping to lower octave.

he smiles and you can hear it, “you don’t remember when we bought matching rings at that diner?”

your face drops at that memory, “you still- that’s that?!” he nods and holds you closer.

“i had it on the past five years,” he mumbles, tapping your back twice with a smile that almost heals you.

“you’re crazy.”

he hums, and it’s one of those low and deep ones. “says you.”

his perfume wafts in your nose and for a second you find yourself losing in him. having have finally held him after years and feeling the comfort you missed, your hands lift to wrap them around his waist.

“you once asked me if i would go against your father,” he mumbles, “it took me a while to answer you but, yes, I can.”

“i never was, no one existed that i could match with better than you.” his deep low voice that causes your stomach to swoop.

“what about the one you told me about years back?” you mumble, pulling back to hold his stare.

“he shakes his head, and you slap his chest with a frown, “you lied over that too?!”

“i’m sorry!” he’s quick to say, worry written all over his face.

but before he continues the door the room bursts open, making the two of you jump and snap your heads back with wide eyes.

“t-that was us! all of it!” wooyoung yells, hands in the air while yeosang holds him back.

“he’s right!” hongjoong screams from the back, hands curled into fists as if ready to fight someone. “we did it for him! don’t blame him!”

“sorry i was watching a show and the inspo hit!”

“y-you guys are here too?!” you say out loud, turning around fully to spot them properly.

it feels like a deja vu, from the very first time you met them to now.

how all of them are still the same, though a little older and definitely not working under your father. more free and smiley and loud and chaotic than before.

seonghwa’s hands leave your waist and he comes to stand by you, one hand sticking in his pocket while his gaze flickers between you and the three standing up front.

a soft smile on his lips before he looks at the trio in front of him, shaking his head and sheepishly coming to hold your hand in his. caressing the top of it with his thumb gently, the action making you look at him.

“i hate you,” you whisper but the smile on your face says the opposite.

“hey, you all.” seonghwa yells from beside you, head noticing them to turn around and look away. it’s not an action they get at first, but when they do their eyes widen and lift up their thumbs.

“what wh-“

“wooyoung.”

and when they do, seonghwa spins you to him and locks his lips with yours immediately. surprising you and muffling your gasp with his lips, arms snaking around you, and he holds you impossibly close to him. as if you’d vanish in thin air.

your hands fly from your sides to his face, cupping his softer cheeks and smiling against the kiss all while your eyes drop fat tears, he can’t help but chuckle at in between the kiss. whispering ‘i’m sorry’s’ between the kiss while you nodded. 

he pulls back to leans his forehead on yours, staring at you with a look that made you look away. “do you still hate me?”

you nod as he wipes the water around your eyes. “maybe a little less than two minutes ago.”

he ticks an eyebrow up, “oh?”

“mhm,” you smile.

he leans closer so that the tips of your noses touch. "how about now?”

“a point five difference maybe?” he smirks.

“can we look now?”

“look where?”

you and seonghwa never pushed each other so fast at that new voice joining all of you, you recognize it as your fathers, and he recognizes it as terror.

“s-sir!”

“dad!”

“good? morning?” he says, face twisted in confusion as every single one of you try to find the words to speak.

"it’s actually nighttime sir,” wooyoung informs, “so, you should say good night.”

you bite a laugh back at the way your dad frowns and how wooyoung immediately gets on his knees to apologize.

and you find yourself leaning on seonghwa, linking your arm with his and he can’t help but break out into a wide smile. his heart fluttering at the sight of it all, you beside him and wooyoung getting disciplined.

and then your dad turns to you two, before you’d move away from seonghwa but now you stay. keeping the stare with your dad who looks at the way you two stood with a small smile, “y/n, hasn’t seonghwa told you yet?”

your eyebrows pull together at that, “tell me what?” looking at seonghwa. 

“ah, right.”

at that, seonghwa let’s go of your hand. stepping back and standing tall, a small smirk on his face before he bends at his waist to bow at you.

“i’m park seonghwa, your new bodyguard,” he looks up and winks, “it’s nice to be back.”

taglist : @hybed​ ;;  @idiomaticpunk ;; @marsophilia ;;@seonghwanotes​ ;;  @hwazoned ;; @xirenex​ ;; @bestboiericsohn ;; @yunhosleftpinky​ ;;  @pshwaa​ ;;  @diorwoo ;; @in-san-ity ;; @lurniere  ;; @cupcakes-n-coffee ;; @tohokuu ;; @cityhrj​ ;;  @serialee ;; @hhj-00 ;; @rielleluvs​ ;;  @todorokiskitten ;; @talkbykhalid ;; @treasure-hwa ;; @atinyteez ;; @luvhaos ;;  @thiccseokmin​ ;; @dreamycomets ;; @vitaminkel-c ;; @rdiamond2727​ ;;  @ot7girl18 ;; @sanshineeeeee ;; @enivivs ;; @littleninja97 ;; @takoyakibinnie​ ;;  @hwaist ;; @sweetteez ;; @rainteez02 ;; @jeongwangjessmina​ ;; @hongism​ ;;  @atozfic​ ;;  @astrojoong ;; @woahhwa

unable to tag : @tiny-verse-writes ;; @kamikazemission ;; @mistateez ;; @utopiakys @etherealbyeol ;; @banana-binbin ;; @lynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns ;; @lolalee24 ;; @meowsannie ;; @h3h3tm0n ;; @sxnhwajoong

#im telling u shinestar era strong #seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez fics #ateez #seonghwa fics #ateez seonghwa #ateez smut #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa smut #seonghwa angst #seonghwa x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez ff #ateez au #ateez imagines #ateez bodyguard au #seonghwa bodyguard au #seonghwa mafia #ateez oneshot #baekhvuns works

[yeonjuns-beanie]

Halo Pt.1

warnings: a lot of plot, 18+, eventual smut (unprotected sex, biting, marking, light blood(play), hair pulling, body worship, dub-con, light fear play, more may be added upon update)), yandere themes(stalking, manipulation, etc)

summary: in your free time you do freelance writing, doing interviews with people most would consider strange and unusual. when you recognize that one of the regulars in your coffee shop only visits in the evening, you pose the question of whether you can interview him. upon his agreement, you realize this is unlike any other interview. 

a/n: i have no idea where this came from but its been rotting my brain. hope whoever finds this enjoys it! I'll be uploading the second half in a few days, school has been taking up a lot of my time lately.

word count: 6.7k

Vampire!seonghwa x female reader

pt.2

The hustle from the afternoon-evening rush finally settled down, leaving you a moment to catch your breath and rest your nerves. You favored working night shifts because of how routinely easy it was compared to mornings, but the one thing you loathed was the mini rushes. They lasted far too long and happened in increments that were too close together. It was like everyone forgot that the coffee shop existed and they needed to get their final fix in before the building closed. 

Appreciating the minute silence of no customers coming in through your drive-thru, you focused on the somewhat comforting static of the conversations happening in your cafe. You were able to take a simple delight in the smells behind the bar. Varying roasts, some pastries that had been left out, and the all but familiar smell that was the store. 

With the dying down of customers now that it was just an hour before closing, you waited for your arcane regular to make his nightly appearance. He was painfully beautiful, clad in all black, and a man of few words. You never really got a gauge on who he was. Now that you thought about it, he was probably the only regular that you didn’t have an extensive background on. 

As you restocked cups and lids, the bell on the door jingled signaling you to look up at who walked in. Stunning per usual, the heels of his dress shoes echoed through the lobby. Taking in his outfit, his chest was adorned in a black, hollow collar long sleeve, black slacks to match, and a designer tote to pull it all together. His hair was carefully styled, a few gelled strands falling to the front of his face. 

You threw the empty plastic holding the cups in the trash and walked over to the register a wide smile pulling at your face. He was probably the only regular you enjoyed and you were thankful at how peaceful the shop had become so you could focus on your interaction. 

“Hi Seonghwa! We doing your usual today?” 

A small smile pulled at his lips as he exhaled a contented breath through his nose. 

“Yeah, just the usual, but let’s do a large today.” 

“Got some extra work tonight?”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

Punching in his order, you realized you weren’t logged in on the till so you took the liberty of giving him one of your markouts. Finishing typing in your numbers, he handed over his card. You waved your hand and frowned, declining his payment, and when his brow furrowed in confusion you spoke up. 

“It’s on me today.”

You walked over to the cup caddy and began making his drink as he followed you over to the opposite side of the bar. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” 

“I know. But you’re in here basically every day. While I’m at it, you want a pastry?”

An airy laugh left him as you lidded his drink securing the cup with a sleeve. 

“I’d love to, but not tonight.” “Alright, well, you let me know if you need anything. Besides that couple in the corner, you’ve pretty much got the night crew to yourself.” 

Thanking you, he walked over to the table that might as well have his name engraved on it. It was tucked in the corner of the building right next to the front windows. You assumed he claimed the spot as his own because he had a view of who was coming in and out of the cafe at all times. Pulling out his laptop from his bag, you walked to the back to finish up with most of your closing tasks so you and your coworker wouldn’t have much to do when the clock stroked 9 p.m. 

As you finished the last of the dishes, you peek your head out to the front checking to see if any last customers had straggled in. Realizing that Seonghwa was the only one left in the cafe, you decided that this would be your best shot to ask him what you’d been thinking about for weeks. Smoothing out your apron, you walked over to him suddenly feeling your nerves fire up. Seonghwa noticed you first and immediately figured you were coming over to tell him you had closed. Closing his laptop, he apologized as you approached. 

“I’m sorry, I must’ve lost track of time. I’ll be out of your hair.”

You threw your hands out in front of you, silently trying to halt his actions. 

“Oh, no no, w-we’re not closed yet. We still have about 15 minutes. I was actually coming over to ask you something.”

“Oh?”

Seonghwa raised his eyebrows and relaxed into his chair, he motioned for you to sit in the chair across the table. Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to swallow your anxiety realizing the gravity of what you were asking him. You were no longer abiding by the standard customer-employee interaction and were hoping desperately that you wouldn’t be overstepping a boundary. 

His presence was just unexplainably intimidating. He held himself with such a poise you couldn’t even imagine what he would look or act like unhinged. There was never a thread out of place when it came to his appearance and only now were you aware of the fact that you were sitting across him in your dirtied apron, bleached stained pants, and the mural of coffee and whipped cream that painted your shoes. 

Violently shushing the voices of panic in your head, you looked him in the eye and found the confidence that struck just moments prior. 

“I hope this doesn’t come off as offensive or anything, but I run a blog about people who most might find strange and unusual and I interview them. Why they chose to subscribe to a certain type of style, what their influences are, if they have projects they’re working on, and everything in between.” 

You watched him nod following along and waiting for you to continue. He was giving you his undivided attention and it excited you, to say the least. 

“With that being said, I find you alluring in a way that I can’t seem to apply a reason to. Combined with the intimidating aura that you ooze naturally, I would love to have you featured on my blog next–if you would be comfortable with that.”

There was a faint smirk pulling at his lips and you couldn’t tell if it was coming from amusement or if he was planning on a way to humiliate you in a manner so sophisticated it would be hard to decipher if he was denying your request.

“So…you find me, intriguing?”

“Very. You’re like what I would imagine a modern vampire to be and it’s fascinating to me.” 

You watched his body freeze for a moment, an austere gloss swiping across his eyes. If you blinked at the wrong time you would’ve missed it, but you caught it and it made the gears in your head begin to turn. Seonghwa’s eyes honed in on you, searching for an answer that he wasn’t quite sure of yet. There was a particular intensity that you hadn’t felt from him before and as he leaned forward, resting his head on his folded hands, you began to feel small in front of him for the very first time. 

It was a feeling you’d never felt before. You almost felt similar to prey until his velvet voice cut through the static silence of lingering words. 

“When are you free next?” 

“I’m off tomorrow actually.”

“Does the evening work for you?”

“Perfect.” 

“Alright.”

He agreed.

It took a moment to realize he so passively agreed to your interview. You honestly did not expect him to agree or let alone give you the time of day to explain yourself. 

“I-I, uh, great! Um, can I borrow your phone so I can save my contact in there?”

Reaching into his pocket, he handed you his phone with such grace you wondered if he was human at all. Adding your contact quickly, you sent a text message to yourself so that you could save his number after the fact. His voice pulled you from your thoughts, you almost forgot he was sitting right across from you. 

“I’ll send you my address tomorrow evening. I figure you’ll have more content to interview if I let you see my place of residence and you can really gauge my character.”

Standing up from the chair, you nodded and thanked him again, still aghast that he agreed so easily. 

“I’ll be looking forward to your message.” You began to walk back towards the bar but stopped in your tracks. 

“Would you like a refill before you head out?”

“No, I still have plenty in here, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Seonghwa stood up, pushing his chair in and grabbing his bag. As he made his way to the front door you waved to him, a full grin plastered on your face. Once he turned the corner of the building, you locked the doors, 9 pm finally flashing across the clock. 

Your coworker emerged from the back, drawers of money in her hands. 

“Stevie gue-”

“-Did you lock the door?”

“Yup!” 

Walking back over behind the counter you stood over your coworker. 

“And you’ll never guess what happened.”

She hummed, looking up at you and giving you the go ahead to continue.

“So you know Seonghwa right?”

“The vampire regular?”

“Yeah yeah. So I was thinking to myself while I was cleaning how he’d be the perfect person to interview for my blog. I don’t know where, but I found the courage and asked him if he’d be willing to and he agreed.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m being so serious.”

The gravity of the situation hit you again as Stevie screamed into her hand and a slew of explicatives left her mouth. Your mind started to wander as to why he agreed so quickly. Was he lonely? Did he find you attractive? Or was he simply just not as intimidating as you pegged him to be? Stevie pulled you from your thoughts as she finally calmed down.

“So when and where are you meeting?”

“Tomorrow night at his place. Speaking of which let me text him real quick.”

“You’re going to his house?!” 

“He said that it would quote give me a better gauge of his character if I saw his place of residence.” 

Stevie paused looking up at you with a growing smirk. 

“That man is Dracula for sure. “Place of residence”, he has to be ancient.”

“Oh shut up. He could be 532 years old on top of it and I still wouldn’t think twice about it. He’s so hot it’s easy to let the quirks slide by.”

Walking over to tear down the espresso bar you were using, Stevie was in a fit of giggles. 

“An old ass man breaking your dry spell is so you coded I hate it.” 

You rolled your eyes and smiled as you dumped the espresso beans in their corresponding cubes before stacking them on the counter. 

“Who says I’m gonna have sex with him?”

“Bitch if you don’t have sex with him I will slap you personally for being so stupid.” 

Both of you erupted into a fit of laughs, and both of you reverted to your normally loud selves now that you were in the comfort of a closed store. Taking the few dishes left to the sink in the back, you peeked your head out yelling to Stevie.

“You cool if I finish the dishes and then I’ll help wipe down whatever you don’t have finished out here when I’m done?”

“Yeah, I kinda wanted to mop anyway.” 

Smiling you walked back over to the sink and pulled out your phone to save Seonghwa’s contact to your phone. As you clicked done in the upper right hand corner, a message from him popped up in a banner on the top of your screen. When you clicked on it, it was his address, and at the end of the text, it was signed ~*Seonghwa. 

As you were beginning to write back a grey bubble popped up, his text following soon after. 

Seonghwa: Wasn’t sure if you had the chance to save my number to your contact list and didn’t want to leave any doubt that it wasn’t me texting you.

Y/N: no worries! i appreciate the clarity

Y/N: i also wanted to thank you again for agreeing to do this with me. i have so many questions

Seonghwa: Well, I hope you have plenty of paper or a recorder of some sort because I have quite the story to tell. 

You felt butterflies flutter in your stomach, feeling utterly giddy that this astute man was texting back and forth with you. He seemed so untouchable and yet in this moment he seemed so much more lax than his typical personality. You hearted his last message and typed one last text before you began running the dishes. 

Y/N: so excited to hear all of it :) 

Shoving your phone back into your pocket, you threw the pieces of the espresso bar into the dishwasher and quickly hand washed all the pieces that couldn’t be tetrised into the washer. Grabbing a rag, you wiped down the dishes you hand washed and placed them in their respective places out on the bar. When the dishwasher beeped, you went back to open it so all the steam could be let out allowing the dishes to cool off while you wiped down the counter with Stevie in the front.

Satisfied with how the counter looked, you grabbed the last remaining pieces of the espresso bar and locked them in place in the bar. Putting the cleaning pills into the machine, you and Stevie did a once over of the store with your eyes. Nodding to each other, you took off your aprons and went to grab your stuff in the back of the store. Gathering all of your items, you and Stevie clocked out and walked to the front of the store. 

As Stevie set the alarm for the building, she yelled over at you while you were waiting at the front door. 

“Has he texted you yet?”

“Lol yeah, he has.” 

The alarm beeped, signaling that it was clear for you to open the door, you held it open waiting for Stevie to come around the corner. As she locked the door, she turned around and looked at you motioning you to hand over your phone. 

“It’s nothing serious, yet.”

“Oh, so you’re hopeful.”

Stevie wiggled her eyebrows at you making you giggle as she read over the quick interaction you had with him. 

“He wants you so bad y/n/n.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Oh, so being delusional is only okay when we're miles away from the hot person now?”

“No, but-”

“-No buts.” 

You smiled looking down at your feet trying to hide your excitement from your friend.

“Alright, well while you dream about Twilight for the rest of the night, I gotta get home to feed Ghost. I’m pretty sure she’s meowing her head off right now. Text me when you get home, okay?” 

Stevie held up a finger gun as she began to walk to her car and you did the same thing as you walked to yours. 

“I will.”

Getting in your car, you took a decompressing breath releasing all the burdens from the day at work. As you turned your car on, you knew your mind would be clouded with thoughts of Seonghwa and what you were gonna prepare for him. 

The drive home felt more like a teleportation home but nonetheless, you were glad to be facing your building. As you got out of your car, you felt that instant dread that you’d been feeling for weeks now. It was always a sudden feeling but you couldn’t ignore it. With the defensive instinct of hunted prey cascading your nerves, you looked around the parking lot near your apartment and noticed nothing out of the ordinary. You just couldn’t shake this feeling. 

Silently grateful that one of the closer parking spaces was open, you locked your car and briskly walked towards your building. Running up the stairs when the feeling of panic that something maniacal was behind you washed over you again. When you reached the top of your stairs, you placed your back against the wall looking out across the different buildings, and still nothing seemed wrong. 

Taking a deep breath, you shook your head and opened the door to your apartment. Walking in, you quickly shut the door behind you, finally feeling safe within the walls of your home. When you clicked your lock shut, your dog, Jasper, ran to you from your bedroom. Seeing him eased your shaken nerves, but only momentarily before he was distracted by something. 

His happy tail lowered and tucked between his back legs as low growls echoed through him. Slowly, he stalked over to your window and looked out toward the other buildings in the complex. Your blinds open just enough so that a small amount of the streetlight could peek through. 

Not wanting to think about whatever was on your tail anymore this evening, you walked over and shut the blinds completely so that neither Jasper nor you could see out the window. Grabbing the remote to your TV, you put on something random just to have background noise so you wouldn’t have to wrestle with the silence. Putting down some food for Jasper, you made yourself a quick dinner so you could begin drafting your questions for tomorrow.  

A half an hour soon turned into a full hour, then that one hour quickly became two and when you finally looked at your phone again it was 1 am. Satisfied with what you came up with, you closed your notebook and got yourself ready for bed. Finishing your routine, you checked your front door to make sure it was locked. A pit of worried confusion settled in your stomach as you noticed your top lock was left unchained. As you tried to reason with yourself you settled confidently on the fact that you probably just forgot when you rushed inside. Besides, the main lock was still set in place. 

You called for Jasper and opened the door to your balcony so he could use the bathroom one last time. While you were outside, you didn’t feel that oppressive feeling but you still felt like you had eyes on you and Jasper confirmed your suspicions as his tail tucked again and he stared into the distance. Fear began to freeze your body again and you wanted to get back inside as soon as possible.

“C’mon bud, let’s go to bed.” 

Jasper shook his head, his collar jingling in the night air. Walking inside, you locked the balcony door and shut off all the lights in the main area of your apartment. Calling for Jasper to follow you to bed, you laid out all your blankets before patting the mattress to signal him to come up. You turned on your LED lights, needing some sort of light to quell your nerves about how you’d been feeling since you got home. The deep purple, shining a tone similar to a black light only lit up a corner of your room. It was just enough to provide you with comfort and the promise of sleep started weighing on your eyes. 

The weight of Jasper on your sheets calmed you down and slowly sleep overcame your body. Your last thought before drifting off was not about the anxiety you felt but rather the excitement for the solo time you were going to have with Seonghwa. If only you could’ve discerned that the anxiety you felt was also courtesy of the man you were bewitched by. 

~`*`~

Your body felt like it was made of stone. You’d never felt pressure like this before let alone right out of sleep. Your eyes slowly pried open and the comfort that normally showered your room was nowhere to be felt. You tried to move your limbs, but as you made the conscious effort to move them, they stayed restrained in place. Stuck, as if they were chained to the mattress.��

As you tried to roll your body over off of its back, you realized that dead weight feeling was possessing your entire body. You were paralyzed, trammeled to what was once the solace of your bed. There was a damning pressure on your chest and it was beginning to feel like you couldn't breathe. Any breath that you could’ve caught was now lost to terror as you realized you could only move your eyes. As you scanned your room, you noticed Jasper standing on the bed, low growls escaping him as he pointed to a corner in your bedroom. 

As you followed his stance your eyes met a tall, statuesque figure standing in the corner of your room, its presence was boring into you. If you could see its eyes, you’d imagine they’d be all black, a harrowing intent lying behind them. The figure's energy felt familiar but the terror of the unknown overshadowed your reason. Fear tingled your body and you wondered if anybody would be able to help you. 

Your mind raced, wondering if this was a twisted realistic dream or if you were about to meet an early demise. The figure barely seemed to move, let alone breathe, but the energy radiating from it was horrifying. You felt like you could faintly see a smile forming where its face was. You tried to scream, but it felt like your mouth was sewn shut. Not sound or even a fraction of the movement of the scream escaped your body and it left you feeling hopeless. 

Closing your eyes, you hoped that maybe you’d be able to force your body back to sleep and whatever that thing was would dissipate into thin air the same way it appeared. A tingling feeling slowly raced through your body and you felt your limbs become your own again. Opening your eyes back up, nothing was standing in the corner anymore and that hot, oppressive feeling that was clawing at the room had faded. 

Jasper curled himself back onto your bed seemingly calmed down enough to go back to sleep. You couldn’t ignore the steady racing of your heart while you kept your dark lights illuminating the room. You were subconsciously just waiting for something else to appear. Grabbing the remote to your lights, you switched the color to a soft white, needing to have some sort of brightness to allow you to feel safe in your room again. 

~`*`~

As you tossed and turned, the hours quickly ticked by and the once navy sky peeking through your window was now turning into a canvas of pale blues and greys. An unmistakable gloom casting over the early morning sky.  You couldn’t even force yourself back to sleep, the anxiety you felt being too great to even think about sleep. Every time you closed your eyes it felt like heat was bearing down in your room, an unseen presence feeling disrespected that you would dare to ignore it. 

Sighing, you sat up in your bed and reached over to your blinds to open them a little bit more, allowing more natural light to brighten your room. For some reason, you felt that if you had nature’s light spill into your room, whatever anxiety you felt would dissipate enough for you to get some type of sleep. Checking your phone, the time flashed 7:32 and you were satisfied enough with the amount of light that was coming through. With Jasper tucked into your legs, you found a comfortable enough position and felt your mind relax enough so that you could will yourself to sleep. 

When you woke up again, it was still overcast and everything was just a bright grey color. It was oddly eerie. Some wind picked up out of nowhere and coupled with the melancholic tone of the weather already, you felt like you were in your own personal thriller. You just hoped that nothing else out of the ordinary was going to happen today. When you checked your phone and it flashed 12:52, you were pleased that you at least got some sleep. Scrolling through your notifications, you saw you had a few texts from Stevie. 

steviee: share your location with me before you forget 

steviee: cuz i know you'll end up at his house and then i won't know where you are 

steviee: i know i have the address but what if you go somewhere else

steviee: r u asleep still what's goin on 

You chuckled at your phone, your friend never failing to make you laugh when you needed it. It almost made you forget about the panic you had felt all night. 

y/n: yeah i just woke up sorry 

y/n: i had fuckin sleep paralysis and couldn't go to sleep until it was light outside smh 

y/n: location should be shared now btw 

steviee: damn, did you see the hat man? 

Stevie hearted your message saying you shared your location and her text about seeing “the hat man” brought you some needed joy. Having someone to be able to joke about the whole ordeal of last night made it seem not so terrifying. 

y/n: i literally couldn’t tell you who it was all i know is that it scared tf outta me 

steviee: right..right

steviee: well, lemme know when u leave tn and good luck

y/n:tyy :3

Shutting your phone off, you decided you should probably start getting ready so you’d have enough time to get yourself together as well as grab anything extra you’d need for the interview. Getting up, you stared at your closet trying to come up with something that would be enticing but professional enough to not raise any flags. You couldn’t deny that you had a bit of a crush on Seonghwa, but it seemed like such a distant reality that you tried to not pay much attention to it. 

You wanted to impress him though. He always looked so polished and you wanted him to feel as allured by you as you did him. The thought crossed your mind that anything you wore would be better than the work clothes he always saw you in, so you settled on something middle of the road. You threw a form fitting, black longsleeve, a black skirt, and your leather jacket on your bed and then sauntered into your bathroom to run through your routine. 

Between your shower, and dancing in between songs while you did your makeup, it quickly became 4 pm. Getting dressed, you gazed over your appearance looking for any immediate imperfections you had to fix. When you found none, you sprayed your perfume, grabbed your shoes, and walked out into the main room of your apartment. Opening the door to your balcony, you let Jasper out while you set out some food for him, figuring that you’d be out fairly late with Seonghwa’s interview. Setting his bowls down, Jasper came prancing inside, rubbing up against your leg. As you locked the door, you showered him with affection and then grabbed your purse to make your way out. 

You were leaving a little earlier than you expected, but you needed to get a new notebook for Seonghwa and you wanted to grab something to eat beforehand. Every new interview you did with someone, you wanted to grant them their own notebook, making the experience feel more personal to each individual. You had a growing collection piled in your room and you were plenty excited to add another. Looking back over your apartment to make sure you didn’t forget anything, you looked at Jasper.

“Be a good boy and watch the house, baby.” 

You flicked on the light so he wouldn’t be left in the dark and you made your way out of your apartment. When you stepped out the door though, your foot landed on something else other than the concrete. When you looked down, there was a leather bound journal with gold embellishments on the spine. You picked it up, inspecting it, and to your surprise, it seemed brand new. You wondered if it was maybe a misplaced delivery, but there was no package sticker on it. 

Seeing it as a blessing in disguise, you stuffed the journal into your bag and walked down the steps to the parking lot. One less stop meant you’d be able to debrief with Stevie before you made your way to Seonghwa’s. Driving the memorized route you had for work, you got there fairly quickly with traffic having died down. When you got out of your car, the sun was slowly tucking itself behind the mountains, casting an angelic golden glow across the sky. Walking into your job, you were happy to see Stevie at the front so that you could get the free food you wanted without the hassle. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Coming to get breakfast so I don’t pass out in front of that man.”

“It’s literally five, babe.” 

“And it’s still my breakfast.” 

Grabbing a sandwich from the display case, you slid it across the counter gingerly and looked at Stevie your lips downturned and your eyebrow slightly raised. 

“You want a drink?”

“No, just a water, if I have coffee I might actually shit myself.” 

You waited on the wall closest to behind the counter and continued talking with your friend trying to calm your nerves. Every time you had a flicker of a thought about Seonghwa you felt your heart race. Stevie’s voice pulled you from your thoughts which you were thankful for because they were about to spiral again.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think you’re going on a date.”

Panicked you looked down at your outfit and then back to Stevie.

“Why? Is this too much? Should I go change?”

Stevie laughed and it confused you, furthering the thoughts of you looking like a fool. The timer on the oven beeped and she put your sandwich in a bag and turned around to hand it to you. 

“No, it’s not too much. Just wanted to see you squirm. You look hot.” 

Your eyes lacked amusement, a deadpanned glare shot her way. 

“Not funny.” 

“You needed to loosen up, I could smell the tension on you the moment you walked in. Hopefully he fucks it out of you.” 

“Stevie!”

She looked over her shoulder smiling at you as she walked back over to the register to help a customer. As you began to eat your sandwich, your phone vibrated in your front pocket. Pulling it out, your heart rate sped up reading that the notification was from Seonghwa. 

Seonghwa: Good evening. I hope this message finds you well. I’m ready whenever you are.

Why does he talk like that? 

You didn’t realize you had zoned out until your screen started to fade to black, your dazed reflection staring back at you. In your staggered panic, you gnawed away at your sandwich not even recognizing that you finished it until you went for a coherent bite and chomped on nothing but paper. Crumbling the bag and throwing it into the trash, you grabbed the water that Stevie left on the counter and almost got away with an Irish goodbye. 

“Text me everything!” 

“I will!” 

You pushed out of the glass door and got back into your car. Digging through your bag, you searched for your lip products before you started the vehicle. Feeling that you had fretted over your appearance enough today, you threw everything back into your bag and loaded Seonghwa’s address into your phone.  

You turned up your music, needing something to drown out the endless panic you were having now that you were actively making your way to his house. Your GPS said it was only about a ten minute drive from where you were so at the very least you were thankful to be close to an area you were familiar with. The further you drove the route to his house, the more you realized it was taking you in a similar direction to where you lived. 

Passing your apartment complex, you began driving in an area that was visibly more prestigious and affluent. The few apartment complexes turned into luxury mansions and you could only imagine from the outside, the grandeur of what the homes looked like inside. Turning on one last residential street, you turned into a development that had a guarded gate. 

“Hi, Y/n L/n for Seonghwa Park on 7772 Seraph Lane.” 

“Alright. I need to scan your ID.” 

The guard waited at your window as you rummaged in your bag for your wallet. Pulling out your ID, the man scanned the barcode and walked back into the small building. As he typed your info into the computer, he quickly printed out your guest pass. 

“Seems like you were already in the system. Have a nice day.” 

Thanking the man you tossed the pass up on the dashboard of your car. As you drove through the neighborhood, you took in how beautifully everything was maintained. The road you drove down was shrouded in willow oak trees, almost hiding the darkening sky. As you made one last right, you pulled up in front of his house. Or, mansion you suppose. 

His front yard was well kept, a willow tree hanging on the lawn. The front of his home was imposing and you felt out of touch being in such an environment. His street was quiet, almost unnervingly quiet. There was no excess noise from any main road, and with nothing but a few cars adorning the driveways of the surrounding houses, you felt unusually small. Out of place. Stepping out of your car, you grabbed your bag and fixed yourself one last time in the reflection of your car door. Locking your car, you took a deep breath and walked up Seonghwa’s elaborate driveway finally clicking into a semi-professional mentality. 

Ringing his doorbell, you waited patiently to see him on the other side. When you heard the lock of the door click out of place, one of the large, red oak double doors opened to reveal Seonghwa in one of the more relaxed outfits you’d ever seen him in. He was clad in black jeans, a mesh long sleeve draped across his upper half, and a pair of leather mules on his feet. 

A wide smile spread across his face as his eyes met your own. A glint of sheer mirth expressed across his features. 

“Y/n! So glad you made it, I hope it wasn’t too much of a hassle to find. Please, come in.” 

Timidly bowing your head, a light chuckle left you as you stepped through the front door.

“Oh, it was no trouble! Me being in the system already made the guard situation a breeze.”

Closing the door behind you, you watched him as he began to speak again. 

“I pray you didn’t find that alarming in any way, just wanted to lessen the amount of effort it would take to get beyond the gates.���

“Oh, I figured that was the reason. I appreciate you looking out for me.” 

A gentle and pleased smile spread lightly across his lips, his eyes closing only for a moment before he continued being so hospitable. 

“Can I get you anything to drink before we start?” 

“Um, a water would be great.” 

“Come.”

Seonghwa motioned his hand to follow you and as you trailed behind him you gazed at everything you could inside of his home. The ceilings were intimidatingly tall and his house was spotless, somehow more well put together than the man himself. He had macabre and abstract artwork and busts decorated his walls and some end tables. The hallway to the kitchen seemed so far away from the front door, but when you entered the room you were left in even more awe. 

“You have a beautiful home, Hwa–Seonghwa! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“-It’s quite alright, y/n. You can call me Hwa if you’d like.”

Nodding silently, you swallowed your embarrassment. Sliding you a glass full of water, you thanked him and he motioned for you to follow him again. Walking through his home, you felt like when Belle trailed behind Beast when being led to her quarters for the first time. Everything your eyes landed on either looked ancient or worth a million dollars. The hallways were long and imposing and you wondered how he lived here all alone. 

Maybe that’s something I’ll add to ask.

Approaching a white door at the end of the hallway with golden fixtures, he opened it and guided you into what you assumed to be his study. He had a table set up with chairs facing each other and he pulled your chair out as you entered the room with him. Seonghwa sat across from you, smoothing out his top as if he was being filmed on camera. Setting your bag on the table, you pulled out your phone opening up the voice memos to serve as your recorder and you pulled out the journal that you found at your front door. 

Just like last night, there was a glint in Seonghwa’s eyes that you would’ve missed if you didn’t look at the right time. You barely furrowed your eyebrows, not trying to draw attention to something so small. He had a microscopic smirk pulling at the side of his mouth, almost like he was trying to hide a smile from forming. Taking a deep breath, you looked up at Seonghwa, that glint now gone and substituted with his usual stoic gaze. 

“Ready?”

“Indeed.” 

Pressing record on your phone, you opened up to the first page of the journal massaging the page so that the spine would bend to your liking. Going to fish in your bag for a pen, you realize it was the one thing that you forgot. Sighing you looked to Seonghwa. 

“You wouldn't happen to have a pen would you?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” 

Getting up, Seonghwa walked to another desk in the room that was accompanied by a computer. Walking back over to where you were, he handed you a black and gold fountain pen that had the same exact markings that were detailed on the spine of the journal you picked up. Hesitant, you took the pen from him, your brows still furrowed as you looked at him to thank him. There was a cold, obsessive tone to his gaze as he watched you inspect the markings on the pen. 

“The same markings are on this journal that I found left outside my apartment today! That’s so weird. Kinda cool, but still weird.” 

A little extra air escaped his nose as he looked at you with amusement. 

“How peculiar.”

You felt your gut stir in anxiety for a moment but swallowed the feeling as quickly as it came. Blaming it on the fact that you had finally started the interview, and you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself. Surely, he hadn’t left the journal, he didn’t even have a fraction of an idea of where you lived. A fiendish levity was cast upon his face when you looked up at him again, settling in to ask him the first question. 

His gaze was heavy. Unwavering as it seemed he was creating a mental image of this moment to save forever and needed to capture every minor detail. 

“So, what drew you to a town like this?”

~`*`~

taglist: @bellamuerte1987 @seonghwasstar

#ateez smut #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa smut #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fanfic #kpop imagines #seonghwa fics

[hwapetals]

for the content! - park seonghwa

synopsis - you and your best friend, park seonghwa, are successful streamers online. in order to spice the content up, the both of you have agreed to get into a fake relationship and it seemed to be working, as both of your fans can't get enough of your relationship.

pairing - streamer!seonghwa x gn!reader

genre - fluff, maybe angst, humor, slow burn, fake dating au

characters - hongjoong, seonghwa, yunho, yeosang, jongho (ateez), gahyeon (dreamcatcher) and yunjin (le sserafim)

warnings - swearing, nsfw jokes, dark humor and maybe an abundance of filler episodes (could rival one piece)

status - ongoing, started, hopefully updates every 3 days??

taglist - please send me an ask or comment/reblog!

a/n - my first ever smau!!! i will try to include more characters later on when i get the hang of this but i'm excited to start! pictures from the banner are from pinterest + divider can be found here!

profiles: one | two

chapter one: gold digger /j

chapter two:

#ateez #ateez seonghwa #ateez smau #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fics #seonghwa smau #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa fics #seonghwa imagines #ateez x reader #seonghwa x reader #kpop smau #kpop fanfic

[mingi-banana]

give me more: teaser.

PAIRING: seonghwa x reader

GENRE: angst, fluff, smut, soulmate au (more to be revealed later)

WORD COUNT: 1.5k

OMG I am so excited for this!!! Please reblog and leave feedback, it'll mean the world to me <3 and please send in an ask if you want to be added to the taglist!

Enjoy the teaser (and the twist) hehe ;)

♤♤♤♤♤

“Happy birthday to you!”

Cheers erupt from your small party as you embarrassedly rub the right side of your face before closing your eyes and making a wish, hands clasped so tightly together they begin to turn white at the knuckles.

You blow out the candles and then open your eyes slowly to be met with the excited faces of your entourage. Hana immediately leaps at you, giggling in your ear, slightly drunk as always but enough so you can understand what she whispers to you, words slurring a little.

Hana has been your best friend since early primary school years, a bright, cheery young girl throughout the years you'd seen her around, whose disposition had dimmed slightly one day when her lunch tray was knocked over by a group of overexcited boys who paid the sniffing girl no mind. They had continued walking and carried on laughing about which of them would collect the most match attax cards. You had watched the whole interaction while sitting with your own group of friends, and looked on as nobody got up to help the girl who was still sat on the floor in a puddle of her lunch food. So you had sighed and walked over to her, crouching down so the two of you were level and offered her a hand. And the rest, they say, is history.

“So, what does it say?”

Ah, so that would certainly explain the eager faces around you. They aren’t really here for your 20th, it seems, but for the small words that you watch gradually spread across your wrist.

You attempt to pull the sleeves of your hoodie down, but to your dismay, you aren’t wearing one. You'd ditched the hoodie for once to wear an elegant dress, a ruched, figure hugging thing that would’ve seemed beautiful in your eyes had it not lacked one thing. Sleeves.

And they jump at the chance. Hands tug at your arm, which you desperately try to remove from their clutches, but it’s too late. Hana holds your wrist as close to her face as she can, determined to read it first, and out loud at that.

““Hey beautiful, can I get you a…. oh my god”“ she recites, before turning to you and smirking.

She looks over your befuddled expression once, before grinning like a Cheshire cat, “RIGHT! We’re going to the bar.”

 

You moan, complain, and do everything in your power to try and convince your best friend otherwise, but she only laughs at you and continues her determined march while dragging you down the road, telling you how much you'd love this.

“Wait, wait, hold on just a second, Hana… You’re not coming in with me?”

Since an unfortunate incident a year ago, you point-blank refuse to go anywhere near a bar, especially on your own and no matter if there’s a soulmate actually in there or not.

“And how do you know he's in there? He could’ve been offering to get me a blanket,” you protest, feeling your heart rate increase and getting more and more upset by the second.

“Because I do,” she says, with all the confidence in the world, “and there’s no way I’m coming in with you, no way at all! You need to find your man without any distractions, girl.”

“Yeah, like you.” you mutter, eyes downcast as you turn the corner to the bar.

You'd been waiting to turn 20 and see the words on your wrist from the moment your mother told you about the whole process everyone goes through as they become an adult. Sleepless nights you had spent tucked away in the covers in your own small world, thinking up scenarios in which you and your soulmate would meet and cherish the moment together. From wide, excited eyes to wonder and happiness at finally finding the other half of your soul, literally. It filled you with a sense of anticipation, barely able to live properly in the here and now from living in your head so much.

So to find out your soulmate was to meet you in the bar was a bit of a downer, really. Why not in a nice restaurant, or even at a shopping centre?

But no, it just has to be a bar. So much could happen. He could be any old alcoholic or druggie, too drunk to register the moment he's been waiting for his entire life and only to forget it seconds later.

You feel a pair of strong hands grip your shoulders and you shake yourself out of your thoughts, looking up in surprise to be met with Hana’s face inches from your own.

“We’re here! You have your phone, don’t you? So call me if anything goes wrong, which I highly doubt,” she continues, and presses a kiss to your cheek, “I promise you’ll be fine, just sit on your own and wait for him to come up to you. Love you, have fun!”

And she walks behind you, places her hands on your shoulders once again, and pushes you through the doors.

It’s too noisy. Too crowded. Too everything.

As if on autopilot, you make a beeline for the stools near the bartender, the only person who actually seems to have a sane mind on him in this place. He looks at you in amusement and begins to ask why you aren’t enjoying yourself and you tell him in low tones before he gets too loud,

“My soulmate’s here.”

That shuts him up.

He extends a hand.

“I'm Wooyoung,” the man introduces confidently and directs a smile towards you, which falls once he looks at your forlorn expression. “What’s wrong, love?”

You sigh and rest your head in your hands, and Wooyoung barely catches what you say next.

“I don’t like bars, and I’m supposed to meet my soulmate here,” You decide you can trust this overly confident man, and extend your arm out towards him. “Look.”

He catches you off guard by pulling your hand up to his lips and giving it a kiss and you lift your head to see another shit-eating smirk on his face. You want to think he's really handsome but he's not your soulmate and you don’t want to waste your thoughts. You have one goal tonight, and it’s heading out the bar as soon as possible (soulmate attached or not).

“Just joking.” He adds quickly, and this time he looks down and reads the words on your wrist.

He breathes out with a huff.

“Well doesn’t he sound like he's out for a fuck.”

“Wooyoung!” you laugh and hit his arm lightly, and he's about to laugh in return when he hears a drink order being shouted at him.

“Be right back.” he grins and shoots you a wink, and you shake your head in mock exasperation, a smile of your own pulling at your lips.

What a shame Wooyoung isn’t your soulmate.

Speaking of which you do think you should’ve met him by now, whoever he was. You honestly could’ve spent the first few hours of being 20 with your friends like going shopping, going on joyrides, whatever 20 year olds would’ve done. Normal 20 year olds who would’ve met their soulmate naturally instead of guessing where they were going to be and then going to that place in the hopes of meeting them. It was so unfair he had to be an alcoholic, too. What would you have done when the two of you went on a date? Gone to a bar, that’s what. Hana was so stupid for jumping to conclusions and sending you to a bar, of all places, and alone at that! You probably look like such a loner as well, perched on a dirty barstool with your head in your hands. What an utter waste of half an hour of your precious life.

You look at your stupid tattoo once more:

Hey beautiful, can I get you a… oh my god.

You sigh, looking up, and are just about to yell out to Wooyoung that you're leaving and may even return to talk to him again one day, when you feel a warm hand on the small of your back. You stop breathing.

“Hey beautiful, can I get you a –“

You spin around to face your soulmate. Your mouth drops open in disbelief.

“Oh my god.” He finishes as he sees you, almost apologetic.

You can’t quite believe what you're seeing.

“No fucking way.” You manage, eyes as wide as saucers and mouth still open.

And his eyes open up in horror. He pulls up his sleeve and double checks his wrist, mouthing the words you just whispered. He shakes his head and pulls his sleeve back down then stares at you and you can see his chest rise and fall, fingers twitching ever so slightly, and you contemplate doing a runner because this is just so wrong. You can’t believe it’s him.

He doesn’t speak, and you continue to stare back at him, not understanding how he would be your soulmate.

Because the man in front of you is Mr Park Seonghwa.

Your best friend’s dad.

🎶to be continued 🎶

 Taglist: @fallinforwoo @pseudosoobin

#Give me more #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #seonghwa smut #Ateez x reader #Ateez smut #Ateez fluff #Ateez angst #Ateez fics #Ateez fic #Seonghwa fic #Seonghwa fics

[februaryflowers]

letters from park seonghwa

with seonghwa abroad, he leaves a series of letters with just what you need to hear to feel better in his absence. but the last one he writes, the last letter is everything you want to hear

check out the playlist for letters from park seonghwa here ! 

warnings: some parts imply the reader overworks themself, mutual pining, reader is pretty sad without him, language, kissing, poorly proofread sorry ;-;

mostly hurt/comfort but i promise the ending is fluff, 6317 words, best friend!seonghwa x reader | uni au

a/n: this one is kinda more rushed than my last ateez fics but im impulsive and i love seonghwa heh so my apologies if it’s eh😭

Sliding your arms around Seonghwa’s neck and down his chest, you peer around his head. “What’re you doing?”

At your voice, his shoulders jolt up before quickly relaxing once more. “I dunno,” he hums, shrugging. “Just tryna pass time. I’m bored,” he whines. 

Running a hand through his hair, you sigh. “I know. I’ll be done soon, I promise, sorry. God, I hate essays.”

He pouts as you untangle yourself from him and head back to your bed, brows instantly furrowing as your fingers start to clack against the laptop keys once more. With a sigh, he returns to his idling. He always worries about you, about how you manage your mountainous workload. Will everything be okay when he’s gone?

Even as he tries to focus his attention on the pages in front of him, he can’t seem to shake you from his thoughts. Folding the paper, he glances to you once more, frowning as he watches the tension in your slouched shoulders. He hasn’t had the heart to tell you about his departure, and time is ticking down until he has to go. Of course, you knew that he had to get an internship for his graduation requirements, but did it have to be so soon? 

So one paper craft turns to five, to ten, and soon enough, as the hours tick by, he probably has over a hundred. Before he knows it, he’s stuffing them into his bag, looking up to see your head lolling to the side, your body tilting so much he’s surprised you haven’t fallen over.

He chuckles softly, shuffling over to you and prying the laptop from your grasp.

“I-I’m almost…done…” your murmur, your eyes drooping more and more with every second that passes. 

“You can finish in the morning,” he coos. “You need rest.”

With your chest now rising and falling in slow breaths, Seonghwa pulls the blankets up to your chin, brushing the side of your face with his finger. “Sleep well,” he murmurs, smiling at the little quirk of your lips that appears at the sound of his voice. “Dream of me.”

You apparently have enough energy to lift your hand, only for it to fall back down in what he guesses is supposed to be a playful swat before sleep comes to you. With one last look at you as he turns off the lights, he sighs and pads to his room.

Tomorrow, tomorrow he will tell you.

You try to keep the drive as lighthearted as possible. With your shared car playlist blasting in the background and the two of you bobbing your heads along to the beat, you can almost pretend that today isn’t going to crush you. 

But as the minutes tick down and the traffic builds with your approach towards the airport, the weight on your chest grows and grows, your out-of-tune singing growing quieter and quieter. Ever knowing, Seonghwa reaches for one of your hands, prying your fingers from the wheel and into his grasp.

“I’m gonna miss you,” you croak, your voice finally breaking. “I’m gonna miss you so much, Seonghwa.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, baby,” he murmurs, squeezing your hand. 

His words don’t help the heaviness in your heart. You don’t even remember when he started calling you baby. He’d said it was because he was just so fond of you and wanted to take care of you whenever he began using that term of endearment. He’d given you the brightest smile and pinched your warming cheeks that day, and every day since, he has given you the biggest swarm of butterflies.

Maybe you’re dreaming, but it feels different than it used to. And that definitely makes your heart clench, wishing that it was. In another universe, another lifetime, another plane, Seonghwa loves you like that. But it’s not here.

Here, Seonghwa is simply your best friend, your beloved roommate. Perhaps he’ll find a lover abroad. And, even if it crushes you, you’ll still smile. Because, even more than you want him, you really want him to be happy, even if it’s not with you. 

His humming takes over, shuffle play bringing a slow song to the speakers, a soft love song, because of course your best friend is a sappy romantic at heart. While it provides some ease to your racing nerves, you’re still all too aware of how he plays with your fingers, tapping the rhythm against each tip. It’s as if he just knows you, your mind, so well, that he can make your knees weak and your brain jelly without as much as a second thought, without even knowing that he’s doing it to you. 

With the instruments finally coming to a quiet close, he pauses, turning to meet your profile and lowering your intertwined hands to his knee. “Can I ask you something?” he exhales.

“Anything, always.”

“It’s kind of selfish of me…” he whispers. 

“That’s okay.”

Biting his lip, he looks to the floor. “Could you…smile for me?”

You pause, the car simultaneously coming to a stop at the red light.

But he senses your hesitation as a soft no, one you don’t have the heart to say out right. “It’s okay,” he says, untangling your fingers and instead placing his hand over yours on his thigh. “It’s selfish, I know. You have every right to be sad. I just—” He sighs. “I’m not gonna be seeing the real thing for the next two months; I wanna remember your smile.” 

You forgot, if anything, your best friend is also cheesy as hell. A chuckle arises from your tight throat, causing a smile to bloom over your features. And it’s in that moment that a familiar quickened rhythm overtakes his heart. 

He grins, reaching his fingers up to brush your cheek. “There it is.”

And ease returns once more, your dramatic crooning returning. You can pretend. You can do it for him. You will yourself to do this one thing for him after all he’s done for you.

But it just can’t be contained when you make it to the parking lot and help take out his suitcases. 

“It’s okay,” you sniffle, brushing away streams of water that run down your face with a small smile. 

Despite that curve on your face, the heavy burden on your heart builds and builds as the moments tick down to when you and Seonghwa will be apart. You don’t think you can remember a time in your whole college career where you went so long without him. Every summer break or holiday recess, he’d be there, visiting you, teasing you about how lonely you were without him. And now, it’s too real. 

Taking you into his embrace, he rubs your back, leaning his head against you gently. “Baby, no,” he murmurs, a quiet shush to your tears. “It’s okay to be sad. If I could stay—”

“No,” you chuckle, shaking your head. Salty droplets continue to pour down your face, stinging your skin, but you pull back from Seonghwa, brushing his hair away from his face. “You’re gonna save the world or something,” you smile sadly. “I’ll be okay.”

Seonghwa wants to say that you’re the world to him, his world, but the words die on his tongue when he meets your glazed gaze that reflects the airport lights back to him. You just mean so much to him. What if he loses—

With one last squeeze, you finally detach yourself from your best friend, patting your cheeks with your sleeves and brushing off your jacket. If you don’t let go now, you don’t think you’ll be able to stop crying before he leaves. You might not be able to ever let him go. 

Exhaling, you force a smile on your face, past the swollen eyes and runny nose. “Now go make me proud, Park,” you tease. 

As he steps away, his luggage wheels squeaking against the tile as he pulls the handle, your lip begins to quiver once more. God, you just wanted to reassure him. He always worries so much about you, and here you are, holding him back when he has no choice but to go. And—

His movement pauses, before he turns around, blinking back at you.

“Seonghwa?” you call, taking steps towards him. “Did you forget something?”

“Hold on.”

He sinks to his knees, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and pulling out a glass jar.

“Hwa!?” you giggle. “You know you can’t bring that on the plane; What if it broke! You’re so silly, y’know. Good thing you remembered—”

Standing, he zips the bag shut once more and hands it to you wordlessly. Despite the words tumbling around in your brain, the butterflies swarming your stomach, you tell yourself that his pallor is from his nervousness about flying, his important internship for graduation. Seonghwa would never like you like that, right?

“Is…that for me?” you squeak, your voice unusually feeble. 

He nods, holding it out to you again. “Open them whenever you’re feeling sad, okay?”

“O-okay…” Taking the container in your hands, you dare to meet his gaze. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

“How could I ever not think of you, y/n?” he asks, his eyes round and soft as he quirks his head. He then forces his lips into a small smile, wrapping his arms around you for the briefest second before he pulls away. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

It’ll feel like a lifetime, an eternity, instead of the actual two months it’ll be. But you can’t keep him here when he has to go, when he can change the world for the better. So instead, you take your free hand to squeeze his. 

“You’re gonna kick butt.”

Pushing him off then waving until he’s out of view, you wait until you return to your car to bury your face in your hands. Are the hundreds of other people here saying goodbye too? 

Even though there are probably many other teary partings and weary friends and lovers, it all feels irrelevant. Do they understand each other like you and Seonghwa do? Do they love each other like you and Seonghwa do? Do they need each other as much as you need Seonghwa? 

So, despite being in his arms less than five minutes ago, you take the jar from the passenger seat, unscrewing the silver lid to pull out the first of many objects that fill the rounded glass. Every last centimeter of the container has been crammed with paper, origami envelopes with a heart to open them. You don’t even know how he had this much time to finish all these, especially while he was preparing for his internship and departure. 

Running a finger under your eye and flicking away the droplets that don’t seem to stop, you let a small breath into your lungs, courage to pluck out the paper laying right on top finally coming. 

You can’t help the small, amused huff that comes through after you open it.

A letter. Of course. 

Dear y/n, Are you sitting in the parking lot crying right now? We just said goodbye right? I know I’m teasing you as I write from the past, when our departure doesn’t weigh as heavily on my mind, but that also means it hurts less right now. I guarantee that when I’m in the middle of check in I’ll start bawling. Sure, we’ll be time zones apart, an ocean away, but, really, call me whenever you need, whenever you want. Don’t even worry about it. I want to hear about your day, what you’re up to, how classes are, what San and Wooyoung are up to, anything, everything.  And I’ll be back before you know it. I promise. I miss you so much already. Love, Seonghwa

Your phone dings just as you read his name, tracing your fingers over his elegant signature. Fishing the screen out of the cup holder, you’re met with a photo from Seonghwa.

“‘I told you so,’” you read aloud.

Admittedly you chuckle at his silly antics, even if it does set off a pang in your chest to see him so teary eyed. He’s going to change the world and pretty much complete the last big push of his graduation requirements. He shouldn’t be feeling that sad. Is it your fault? 

But before your thoughts can settle and take root in your mind, another notification pops on the screen with another text from Seonghwa.

“‘Thank you for smiling for me. Text me when you get home safely. I’ll be here for a few hours,’” you repeat. 

It takes everything to turn on the ignition and put the car in drive, but with a slow exhale and Seonghwa’s words covering the worries running around your mind, you manage to pull out of your parking spot and onto the road. These next weeks will be impossibly long.

Even though you already sort of knew it, you quickly remember that life without Seonghwa is so gray and dull. The sky even agrees with you, the days following his departure filled with overcast skies and rain. 

Every morning you wake up to a quiet apartment, no Seonghwa waiting at the island with breakfast for you, no Seonghwa to keep you company on the walk to class, and no Seonghwa to come home to, greeting you with the best hug you’ve ever had (Yes it gets better every day. You don’t know how but it does.) Of course your friends all begin taking on extra care for you in his absence, meeting you for lunch or bringing dinner by, studying with you more often, hanging out more frequently. And you appreciate it, you really do. You really do have fun and enjoy the time with them. But there’s nothing like having Seonghwa in the flesh by your side. 

And it hits one late night, the moon high above you, the only light in a starless sky. It hasn’t even been a week since you said goodbye. Slumping down on the oddly empty sofa, you sigh, your fingers itching for the phone a foot away. 

Your friends have already gone home from your weekly Friday night shenanigans, which means that you should be putting on a funny movie with Seonghwa to conclude the evening. His cuddles are probably the best way to finish up a tiring week, reinvigorating you with excitement and energy for the next days to come.

With the weight building on your chest, you let a soft breath leave your lips before you give in to the nagging in your heart. Sure, you talked with him this morning, but you’d really like to hear his voice now for a moment, at least. 

y/n [ 12:06 am ] : are you busy?

Of course he doesn’t respond. It’s right in the middle of the workday for him. He has other things to do. But you can’t pick yourself up off the couch. You don’t know exactly what you’re waiting for. Fingers tapping mindlessly against the fabric, it isn’t until a soft ding echoes around the room that you shift. 

seonghwa [ 12:08 am ] : in a meeting :( i’ll be done in 20 though

seonghwa [ 12:08 am ] : is smthn wrong?  

y/n [ 12:09 am ] : nothing…just miss you…

Yeah, you should really head to bed. He’ll be busy even when the meeting ends. Waiting here will only make you more miserable. 

Pushing yourself off the sofa, you shuffle to the bathroom, brushing your teeth until you hear the quiet buzzing once more. As you rinse your mouth out, you find your eyes in the mirror. 

Seonghwa wouldn’t want you to be this sad, would he? He always loved, loves still, your smile, always pinching your cheeks when you have a wide grin or a matching one of his own growing on his face when you’re particularly happy. 

seonghwa [ 12:11 am ] : sorry baby :( i miss you too i’ll call you tn

seonghwa [ 12:12 am ] : why don’t you open a letter for me?

y/n [ 12:12 am ] : okay

y/n [ 12:13 am ] : gonna head to bed after though so dw gl with your meeting

seonghwa [ 12:13 am ] : sleep well baby :)

Unscrewing the jar, you carry it into your room and leave the glass on the nightstand before pulling out a small blue envelope. From the crooked creases, you’re guessing it must’ve been one of his first projects, which causes a small smile to force its way to your face as you imagine him redoing the same folds over and over until they were clean enough for his standards with furrowed brows. As you scoot into bed, you rest your back against the pillows and unfold the paper.

Brushing the smooth surface with your fingers, you finally let out a small breath and find his words. 

Dear y/n, Are you tucked into bed? I hope you are. I hope you’re getting enough rest, taking plenty of breaks, and still enjoying life without me. Did Jongho take you out for lunch today? Did you hang out with Yunho and Mingi? You can tell me all about it later; I’m sure it’s late now and you’re tired. 

That’s right. You have a lunch date with Jongho tomorrow. And you did study with Yunho and Mingi at the boba place near campus, even if you quickly devolved into laughter and anything but studying. 

You do miss Seonghwa. You wish he was with you here instead of being on the other side of an ocean. You really do. But there’s so much fun to be had with all your friends.

With a reluctant smile, you continue reading.

When you finish this note, I want you to close your eyes. I might be far from you physically, but you are never far from my thoughts. I’ll be thinking of you every day. I already do.  When I see the sun rise, you’re watching the same sun set, just on the other side of the planet. Two sides of the same coin. I’m still with you, baby.  So close your eyes. Smile for me? I’m never far so don’t miss me too much :) I’ll be home soon.  Sleep well and dream of me ;) Seonghwa

There’s a teary smile on your face as you finish his words. Flicking a stray droplet from your cheek, you sigh. 

What are you ever going to do with that man?

With a playful shake of your head, you attempt to fold the paper back into the shape it was given to you in, but you can’t seem to find the right combination of creases to turn the flat page into a beautiful letter once more. You’ll have to ask Seonghwa how to do it when he comes home. But for now, you start the pile of finished notes on your desk, smoothing out the lines so the page will lie flat next to your stacks of books. 

Perhaps Seonghwa’s letter is exactly what you needed to hear, the heavy allure of sleep beginning to take its toll on your drooping eyes and a yawn escaping from your lips. Crawling back to bed, you close your eyes. It might be your imagination—you know it is—but it’s as if you can feel him sitting next to your drowsy figure, watching over you protectively. 

On nights like this one, he’d normally tuck you in tightly under the blanket before busying himself with his homework at your desk until you fell asleep. Tonight is far from that, but, even half asleep, you know he’s still taking care of you from a world away. This isn’t what you’re used to, but today is okay. Sleep comes quickly. 

Today sucks. Today is the worst day you can remember in the last year. So you failed your exam. And your project team is driving you up the wall. It seems every inconvenience that can go wrong does go wrong, leaving you exasperated as you drop your keys at the front door after a long day. 

Shuffling into your room, your fingers fish out from the jar, unfolding the delicate page a little rougher than you should. With a huff, you collapse on the bed, holding the letter above you.

Dear y/n, How’s your final project going? You’re supposed to be doing one of those for your design class this semester, right? I know you must be stressed around now. I hope you’re remembering to take it easy. You’re doing so much work; you gotta take care of yourself, baby. Take a break. Go on a walk. Get boba with Hongjoong (lord knows he needs a break too). Even if you think you need to finish everything right now, you need to put yourself first. Your health matters. You matter. And you don’t want to burn out before the semester ends, do you? If you can’t do it for those things, could you do it for me?  Because, most of all, I hope you remember to be gentle with yourself. I know this degree is important to you, but above everything, you are the most important. You’re the most precious star, baby.  I’m proud of you already. Don’t worry too much, yeah? Love, Seonghwa

You think that’s what does you in, little streams beginning to flow down the mountains and valleys of your cheeks. It’s not even the frustration from your day. How does Seonghwa—past, present and future—just know exactly what you need to hear when you need to hear it? What ever did you do to be blessed by having a friend like him?

Placing the letter on the neat stack you’ve amassed, you return to your bed, not wanting to smudge his ink with your tears. Sunset prickles through the window shades, sneaking under your closed lids as you try to rest. While the still quiet is nice, in your heart you know Seonghwa is right. It’d be good to hang out with someone. 

So you open your eyes, retracing your steps through the apartment to find your phone on the kitchen counter. 

y/n [ 5:36 pm ] : do you wanna get boba maybe? 

hongjoong [ 5:37 pm ] : ofc???

 hongjoong [ 5:37 pm ] : ill come by we can walk together? 

Laughing with Hongjoong, you can feel every ounce of irritation that’d built up in you the whole day being replaced by the second. It’s almost a little annoying how well Seonghwa knows every corner of your mind. 

y/n [ 4:26 pm ] : SEONGHWA SEONGHWA

y/n [ 4:26 pm ] : SEONGHWA I GOT THE JOB

Checking the time, you let out a small sigh. He’s probably asleep. You know he’ll see your messages when he wakes up in the morning, but it’s not quite the same as celebrating with him in real time, still off the high of the email in your inbox.

It’s become a habit now, finding that glass jar whenever you wish he was with you instead. Yet again, you crawl on the bed, wrangling a piece of paper out from the container. The one you pull up is a little fancier than the ones you’ve picked previously, a pristine white page with small bunny and confetti stickers. It makes you pause, squinting at the folded envelope.

There’s no way Seonghwa would know, right?

Dear y/n, Congratulations! Maybe you guessed from the celebratory stickers I put on, but I wrote this one for a special occasion. I hope you’ll tell me all about it when we have a chance to talk again, but I hope this will suffice in the time being. Regardless, I want you to know that I’m so proud of you.  Even if you opened this on a different kind of day, I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of who you are and all you’ve accomplished any day of the week. My best friend is so kind and sweet but also smart and a badass.  But I just know that you’ll read this one on a good kind of day. So congratulations! I know, whatever it may be, that you deserve it. You are so capable, baby.  You’ll still tell me about it when you’re rich and successful though right? ;) Love, Seonghwa

Oh, curse him. He genuinely baffles you. What kind of guy can predict the future like that? (He knew. He always has faith in you.) And what kind of coincidence must there be for you to open the exact note today? 

And it just reaffirms the little thought in your mind that there is nobody in the world quite like Seonghwa. You don’t think there’ll be anyone as wonderful and gentle and caring as him. But to top it all off, he just understands you through and through. 

While you just clicked all those years ago, he also listened. He never stopped. He simply tries his best with you, and will never let you go so easily. He still does. What’s between you is more than an initial spark. 

It still burns. You’re more than content to keep fanning the gentle flame that keeps you both cozy. And Seonghwa and his warmth are the best company to sit around that fire with. It will always burn bright. 

Of course when he reads your messages in the morning, he celebrates and cheers with you, almost as loud as you know he would be if he was actually here.

You grow less dependent on Seonghwa’s little notes as time goes by. You’ll still take them out sometimes when you miss him particularly badly or for fun, but definitely less than the first weeks. Your texts and video chats are still as frequent as before, though. If you had to go two months without seeing his smile you aren’t sure what you’d both do. 

This weekend you find yourself at the farmer’s market with San and Wooyoung. As the former goes around trying to get free samples and the latter actually looks for groceries, you wander off to the lake. 

Families and pets are scattered along the shore, enjoying the spring breeze through the bright sky. Summer will come soon, an inkling of humidity sticking in the wind that blows past the shining sun.

The last time you came here was two years ago with Seonghwa. Another opportunity never really came up to return, but San and Wooyoung insisted you come today and you wanted to visit again anyway, agreeing to tag along. And next year, you’ll all graduate, making your way into the real world. It’s a little hard to believe. 

 But this is the kind of memory you’d like to savor, to revisit. 

Stepping out of the shade of the treeline, you let your eyes find a little family of ducklings. The babies tail behind their mother, and, almost as if they can sense your gaze, they turn and let out small quacks. With a chuckle, you give a small wave before they all head on their way once more, your heart growing in your chest at their flapping, splashing wings.

“Y/n!” San calls. 

“We got donuts. Do you want one?” Wooyoung asks. 

Turning to them you smile. “Sure. Just gimme a moment.”

This is the kind of thing Seonghwa would coo at, a simple, adorable moment. You’d probably be able to convince him to come here with you when he comes back with the promise of free samples alone. Everything else would just be another cherry on top.

Regardless, you want a picture, just for yourself, your own personal scrapbook in your mind. The animals, the weather, the scenery, it’s all a little too picturesque to not immortalize. 

But before you can even unlock the screen, your eyes find the date.

Your best friend is coming back in a week. 

You made it. 

While you certainly can survive without Seonghwa, there’s something about having him in the flesh that adds an extra sparkle and brightness to life. And he’ll be back before you know it. You survived months. You can make it another week. 

Snapping the photo, you hurry over to your friends and gladly take the glazed donut hole that Wooyoung hands you. Nothing has ever tasted so sweet. 

The night before Seonghwa’s return, the glass jar catches your eye. A lone page sits on the bottom, all its brethren now stacked neatly on your desk under a paperweight. 

Drying your face, you smile. What the hell. You might as well open it. 

Crawling into bed, you take the letter. Everything is as it should be. Seonghwa is on his plane home, back to you. You finished the semester with the best grades of your whole college career. You just had a fun night out with your seven other crazy friends. 

Unfolding the creases, a path you’ve memorized and can now do without a second thought, you swallow upon seeing the paragraphs in front of you.

You already know this is going to be different. 

With a shaky breath, you begin.

Dear y/n,  I hope things have been going according to plan and this is the last letter you open before I come home. I’ll be back soon and, even if I haven’t left yet as I write this, I know the first thing I’ll want to do when I land is fall into your arms and hold you until you complain about needing to pee or something. I already know I will miss you terribly. And maybe, my hope in writing this, in our distance, is to protect my fragile heart.  I know I’m being cowardly in not telling you this in person, but if you find you don’t see me in the way I see you, that’s okay. I will love you as a friend all the same and you can burn this letter and pretend the last 10 minutes never happened. But I love you. I love you in every way I have been taught to love and then some. I have fallen so deeply for you that a simple, ordinary life with you would be more meaningful and happy than any alternative, a timeline in which every other dream I have could come true. My heart is yours, has been shaped and nurtured and protected by you; I don’t think I know what it would be like if I’d never met you. Every day I wake up and see you in our kitchen before going to class, and I can’t help but feel lucky to know you. Yet, despite that, I can’t promise that I will be everything you need in a person, in the world. But I promise that I will try to protect your beautiful heart, your bright-eyed wonder, until you are so sure of them that nothing will shake you. And even then, I will still be in your corner, a shoulder to lean on. Just say the word.  I can't wait to come home.  Yours always,  Seonghwa

By the end, you can’t stop the waterfall of salty droplets falling from your face. You clutch the letter to your racing heart, trying to take a slow breath to calm all the nerves in your body that have been lit. 

Seonghwa…your Seonghwa…he loves you…

You always knew he loved you. You know he does now. 

It’s just…he loves you in one more way. 

You don’t think twice as you bring the page with you to your desk, already pulling out your own page and finding a pen. After all the letters he’s written you, you think it’s only fair that you write one back to him. Even if you can’t stop the few tears that soak your paper of your single note, you hope it’ll be enough to match the time and attention he put into his hundred.

Your little airport pickup sign has Seonghwa’s name in large, black sharpie on the front, but as you hold it up, the back of it is what causes a lump to form in your throat. The triangular paper flap that has since been taped down can change everything now. When Seonghwa opens it, nothing will be the same, and you won’t be able to go back. 

But you know it’ll all be for the better. 

Rocking on your heels, you scan the exit tunnel area once more. He’d texted you that he’d made it through customs a while ago, so it could be any minute now. But your impatience takes over, and you pull out your phone to check for new messages. 

With your foot tapping at the tile, you don’t even notice the footsteps towards you until their owner is wrapping his arms around you.

“Y/n,” he sighs, his breath falling to your skin. 

While you jolt at the surprise, you quickly relax into his familiar warmth, letting small pools form in the corners of your eyes. It doesn’t surprise you either when you feel similar drops landing on your shirt. 

“I missed you,” you cry. 

“I missed you too.”

He rocks you back and forth, the two of you eventually sinking to the ground to simply hold each other. Nothing can get in the way of you finally being together with him once more. 

“How was your internship?”

“Good, they gave me a glowing review to my advisor.” He snuggles his head further against you. “How’ve you been?”

“You say that like I haven’t spoken to you every day,” you chuckle, flicking away the wetness on your cheeks with your hands before they quickly return to their spot on his back. 

“I wanna hear about everything,” he says. “Even if you repeat it ten times over. I’m always gonna wanna hear what you have to say, y/n.”

Blinking, you find it in yourself to pull away, still in his arms, just at a further distance so you can meet his eyes. “There’s…there’s actually one thing I didn’t tell you.”

He swallows. Did you start seeing someone? You would’ve told him, right? Or maybe…you read his letter…and you thought telling him in person would soften the blow. “W-what is it?”

You hand him the envelope silently, staring at his smooth hands as he opens it and pulls out the piece of paper tucked neatly inside. It’s so simple, yet it holds your whole heart on it. 

He glances at you before his eyes find the words once more and he begins. 

Dear Seonghwa, It’s silly. You spent so much time writing me notes and letters, filling pages with heartfelt words that you just knew I needed to hear somehow always when I needed them most. You never ran out of the most perfect words. And yet, I can’t even figure out what to say in my first one. I don’t know if I can ever truly explain or understand how much I love you. You deserve to know, though, so I’ll try my best, but I can only hope that this is enough.  Your last letter to me was different in a few ways, no? If I’m reading things right, it was a confession, right? It was primarily for your feelings rather than mine.  And, most of all, it was everything I wanted to hear and then some.  The stars would be so proud to know they created you. I’m so honored that you feel I have shaped your wonderful heart in the way that I have, but I want you to know that you, your heart, yourself, you are stunning just as you are.   I don’t really know what I’m saying here but I hope you will always be happy. And I’d love it if I could be that person to make you happy. I love you. I think I always have. It just grew and grew, and I hope it doesn’t stop. Because, Park Seonghwa, you’re the one I love most.  Your partner in everything (and hopefully one more way), y/n

You’ve stopped staring for a long while, just listening to the hustle around the little bubble you’ve made on the floor. You don’t think you have the heart to see his face as he reads everything you poured into that letter. 

“Y/n,” he murmurs. 

You hum, still refusing to meet his eyes.

“Could you look at me?”

When you don’t budge, he lifts his fingers to your chin. Giving you a moment to look at him on your own, he turns your head from the ground.

“Have I told you…how much I love you?”

Finding his round orbs, you swallow. Of course his eyes always sparkle like that, but you don’t think you’ve ever seen them so bright. The soft blanket of his steady gaze is trained on you, a warm fondness and affection that causes your stomach to swoop. You’d never be able to describe how stunning his eyes are. Not even the most talented painter creating their finest masterpiece could match their beauty. And…it’s all for you…?

“Was it okay?” you squeak.

He smiles, brushing your cheek. “More than okay.” Tucking you into him, he rests his lips on your head. “It was perfect. You will always be more than enough.”

In the middle of your bubble, you give him a squeeze, resting your weight against him. He’s really here, with you, in your arms. And…

“Does that mean…you’re mine?”

He tests the waters, pressing a kiss to your temple. “And you’re mine, baby.”

“I like that.”

Grinning, he begins rubbing long strokes down your back. “I like that too, angel.”

But as you spot some of the other strangers you’d been waiting with begin to shuffle towards the exit with their friends and family, you try to stand, only to be met with the resistance of Seonghwa’s grip.

“Hey! I’m not letting you go just yet,” he laughs, the tears collecting in his eyes finally dropping from his lashes and onto his cheeks. “I’m not letting go until you complain you need to pee or something.”

#ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez fics #ateez x you #ateez angst #ateez scenarios #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fics #ateez seonghwa #mei's #mei.atz

[jungwnies]

⋅ ⎯ ✈︎ park seonghwa | s. ateez's seonghwa being possessive with you after feeling a bit jealous ! | g. timestamp , romance , angst ! | w. suggestive content at the end, cursing ! | wc. ~0.4k ! | r. requested by @whatudowhennooneseesyou !

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박성화 ' park seonghwa ' 1:15 am

"every time i go to pick you up you're always flirting with that fucking co-worker of yours." seonghwa chastised as he pulled out of your work parking lot. "i don't come here at one in the fucking morning to pick you up just to see you and that dude walking out of the building together giggling."

"i don't giggle." you say rolling your eyes, "can you just shut up and drive home."

"do you like him or something?" seonghwa continues to badger as he drove him.

"i don't fucking like him seonghwa, i just walk with him every time i work the night shift because lord knows what would happen to me if i was fucking alone." you snap, "pull over seonghwa."

seonghwa continues to drive, "does walking together to the parking lot include flirting, because that's all i see."

"seonghwa, pull over i don't want to be in the car with someone who doesn't trust me." you scoffed.

"i'm taking you home." seonghwa scoffed stopping at the upcoming red light.

"no you're not." you say unbuckling your seatbelt storming out of the car, "i'll call an uber."

seonghwa pulls over as you made your way onto the side way and runs out of his car to grab your hand, "you're not going to find an uber at 1:15 am in the morning y/n."

you sigh and shake your head, "i'm so sick of you accusing me of flirting with other people, he was just being a good friend and taking me to the parking lot because he knows how dangerous it can be at night, better two than one fighting off someone seonghwa."

seonghwa lets go of your wrist and pulls you into a hug, "i'm sorry y/n, i don't know what i was thinking getting mad at you."

you wrap your arms around him cautiously, "i just need you to trust me." you whisper.

seonghwa places his chin above your head before placing a kiss on your lips, "i do, i'm sorry, now please get into the car so we can go home."

you nod and get into the car after he opened the door for you. he gets into the drivers seat and waits for you to put your seatbelt on before pulling away and continuing the drive him. he places his right hand on your left thigh and squeezes it smiling at you from the side, "i'll make it up to you i promise."

2022 © jungwnies

#seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez fics #ateez #seonghwa fics #ateez seonghwa #ateez smut #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa smut #seonghwa angst #seonghwa x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez ff #ateez au #ateez imagines #jungwnies #𐐪♡︎₊˚ ― jungwnies #♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ ° ― requested

[ateezrecsandreviews]

Seonghwa Recommendations

@ateezrecsandreviews Seonghwa fanfic recommendations :)

(updated with word counts)

**<-NSFW

9 newly added fics are at the bottom of the list (2022.12.03)

**Addicting Kitten - @tenelkadjowrites (33k words)

You are stranded alone on the way home. However, when Seonghwa, comes by and offers you a ride, you cannot help but feel as if you might be walking into the lion’s den.

**playing with fire - @ateezmakemeweep (121k words)

That’s all he ever was to you though - your friend’s hot dad who you only ever saw a few times a year. But when you find yourself around him more and more often, you suddenly find yourself in a situation you know is wrong but can’t seem to pull yourself out of. 

**one, two, three (Hwa x Reader x Yeo) - @ateezmakemeweep (8k words)

Your eyes can't help but linger over to Yeosang while your boyfriend, Seonghwa, is away. He's so pretty, you just can't help yourself. (Consensual) Note: @ateezrecsandreviews summary

**good lil boy - @yeosanghwas (6k words)

Needy Seonghwa just wants to be a good boy for you. Note: @ateezrecsandreviews summary

**The Duke and His General - @baekhvuns (62k words)

Two different personalities are pulled together by a string of threads, clash of class, opinions and feelings hover over the two of you. Park Seonghwa is the man you’re arranged to, while you lead his kingdom’s army.

**Let’s Not Fall In Love, Again - @baekhvuns (39k words)

In which the universe decides to play a game of two, serving the classic glitch in the matrix that does wonders for you.

**Mr. and Mrs. Park - @baekhvuns (50k words)

In which the task of killing your enemy is abruptly put on pause when you discover their cute little secret.

**first time with bf!seonghwa - @ateezmakemeweep (8k words)

Seonghwa's been away for far too long and all you want to do is cuddle. Or so you think. Note: @ateezrecsandreviews summary

**Posessive - @barnesbabee (1.5k words)

Jealousy is a dangerous feeling when it controls over people, but if it’s mixed with lust, it might be just what you need.

**Something Tells Me You Don’t Really Hate Me, Do You? - @celestiababie (3.6k words)

A classic enemies to lovers. Note: @ateezrecsandreviews summary

**Pillow Talk - @barnesbabee (1.7k words)

Whoops, looks like you got caught in the act… Twice.

**Hwa x Yeo Dynamic - @atiny-dazzlinglight (300 words)

**Cheat Codes - @serendipityunho (5.3k words)

"This party's boring, wanna get out of here?" may have perhaps led you to make the biggest mistake of your life by sleeping with your best friend's other best friend, your best friend who happens to be in love with you.

**Kiss of Chaos - @tenelkadjowrites (102k words)

When a spell goes wrong and you are blocked off from your magick, you track down the most powerful witch in the city - Seonghwa - to try to fix it. As Seonghwa asks his coven for help, the two of you find yourselves increasingly attracted to one another. But will it be impossible for both Seonghwa and yourself to allow the walls that have been up for so long to come down and let each other inside?

**Properly - @tenelkadjowrites (9.7k words)

Nervous about running into your ex at a party, your best friend Seonghwa has devised a plan to pretend that you are dating him. However, in acting as if you are together, the friendship begins to change course.

**House Husband - @spinster-sisters (4k words)

“You know sweetheart, I would absolutely love something to remember you by.” He hinted, innocently tilting his head to the side and pouting at you. You could tell what he was hinting at but at the moment all you wanted was another kiss.

**Attention (feat. Hongie) - @beginningofwonderland (6k words)

Your boyfriend Hongjoong is too busy with work for your and Seonghwa's liking so you decide to distract him with rather inappropriate means.

**Bad Habits (feat. Hongie) - @hongthoven (5.3k words)

You didn't know how things had gotten this far...kneeling in front of Park Seonghwa with your mouth wide open, tongue out, waiting to be humiliated for the 8th time that night. But above anything, you didn't know how to stop. Or if you even wanted to.

**Hate Sex @sanjoongie (2.2k words)

You break up with San and somehow end up in Seonghwa’s bed.

**4:15pm PSH @spinster-sisters (500 words)

Hongjoong shouldn't have left the two of you in his office. Note: @ateezrecsandreviews summary

**Bubblegum Heart @tenelkadjowrites (12.5 words)

When your best friend, Seonghwa, comes to you with a tearful confession, it changes your dynamic with him forever.

**The Best Friend's Code (feat. Hongie) @tenelkadjowrites (11.3k words)

Hongjoong swears up and down that if you don’t touch each other, it won’t ruin the friendship…and what is the harm in blowing off some steam?

**Dance (feat. Hongie) @hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf (2.6k words)

Seonghwa’s supportive bf hongjoong goes to watch a performance but ends up getting special treatment in the back room. *Requested by @ateezrecsandreviews

**Exhibitionism w/ Mommy Seonghwa @whatudowhennooneseesyou (760 words)

Mommy Seonghwa just can't hold back when you have an audience.

**Cuckolding (feat. Hongjoong) - @hongism (6.9k words)

You and your husband, Hongjoong, invite one of his best friends over for dinner. Seems like a perfectly normal evening, as far as Seonghwa knows. But he can't help but salivate over the curve of your hips when he thinks you aren't looking. Luckily for him, you and Hongjoong have some... interesting plans prepared for the evening. Note: A personal favorite of @ateezrecsandreviews

#ateezrecsandreviews #ateez smut #ateez fics #seonghwa fics #seonghwa smut #ateez recommendation #seongjoong #seongjoong smut

[yunshoto]

on that night

word count: 8k

genre: fluff, smut

seonghwa x reader x san

summary: what happens when you're joining a party, and drinks make you drunk? does it drive you crazy? or it leads you to the most pleasurable night you could imagine.

*ding dong*

someone rang your doorbell in the morning. they rang it once, twice, and that's it, you're through. you know from the intervals of the ringing bell that it must've been wooyoung. your intrusive best friend, wooyoung, wakes you up in the morning. why would he do that? if it's something stupid, you're going to ban him from your apartment, you thought.

"(y/n), open your fucking door, " he shouted.

"what the fuck does he want? " you mumbled while grabbing your key to unlock your door.

he should've known that you were staying up late last night for your project. finally, your door is open. you weren't smiling nor greeting him politely. "what do you want, woo? " you asked him with your disheveled appearance. 

"you're going to thank me for this. professor joe changed his tomorrow's afternoon class into this afternoon, " he said. your eyes snapped at him.

"what time is it now? " you asked him. "9 am. you're not going to thank me? " he asked. "duh, yes, thank you, woo, " you ran to your room to take a quick shower.

at first, you despised wooyoung so much that you could pull his hair apart. sometimes he would hug you, or other times, he would kiss your cheeks. people think you're dating him. he once told you that that's his love language. well, you're okay with it, and you didn't care at first. until one day, the one and only day, the day choi san arrived at your college. it all started on the day of this new semester. 

the day of this new semester

it's the first day of college, and you're late. let's blame last night's party. you thought, as soon as you're a college student, you should know your drinking tolerance. it was fine when you're with beer.

until some girls at the party recommended you a cocktail, fireball, it's what they said. you really like its flavor. it's sweet yet quite spicy with their whiskey spice. after your third glass with fireballs, it finally hit you. the alcohol hits your brain, and finally, you're tipsy. 

your head was spinning then. you managed to leave the party early because you're so fucking dizzy, and you don't want to vomit there. 

you managed to walk yourself up to the street to grab some uber. well, you were walking fine until your stomach felt like going to throw up anytime soon. you were searching for the nearest trash can, but you weren't looking straight. 

your stomach felt a tension inside. you want to vomit. you grabbed something sturdy in front of you. that's when you can't take it. you vomited then and there. "what the actual fuck is this? " a low, deep, and husky voice heard by you. 

you looked up to search for the voice. there's a dim light shining through that person's face, but you're sure that it's a guy. "mind your hand, " he said. "huh? what do you mea-, " you vomited again, and this time it's on his shirt.

"first on my shoes, now on my shirt. great, " he snarked. you grabbed a couple of wet tissues inside your purse and wiped your mouth.

"i'm so so sorry, " you begged. you're unaware of what you're currently doing. being so innocent, like a kitten, cleaning themselves messily. that kind of look is doing something for him. between wanting to help you and covering his blushes, he chose the latter. "now, why did you put your hand on my shirt? " he finally asked. 

you were so busy cleaning yourself that you didn't quite understand what did he just say. you looked at him blankly, confused about his words. his face is covered by the dim light of the moon. you're sure that his features are sharp, much to your liking.

"did staring at someone instead of answering them, is some kind of a new trend now? " he snapped. 

"oh, no. i'm sorry. what did you just ask? " you asked him again. he let out a deep sigh and asked again. "omg, i thought you were a street pole. i'm sorry, " you said. 

"you know, this is the first time i drink something like fireballs, " you claimed. he chuckled and looked at you. it is clear as a crystal that you're drunk. he assumed your friend had left you for being drunk too soon. you didn't even remember you ordered any uber. 

"where's your friend? " he asked. you shrugged it off. you didn't know where wooyoung whereabouts because he said he was hanging out with his other best friend. your phone vibrated at the right time. 

the uber driver had called you, indicating that he had arrived. "well, i'm sorry for your shirt. can i have your number? " you asked. he eyed you weirdly. "no, it's not that i'm doing it to flirt with you. so you could tell me about the cleaning fee for your shirt, " you said.

"oh, don't fret about it, " he smirked. you nodded at him and smiled. "okay, then. i'll get going now. i'm sorry again. you might treasure that shirt, right? " you rambled.

he just stood there, and he chuckled. "yeah, it's okay, " he said. you got into the car and waved bye at him. 

you didn't ask the man his name, and neither he asked about yours too. he stood there, feeling a glimpse of regret in his stomach.

and you? you're too busy thinking about how embarrassing it is to vomit in front of a stranger. you were hoping you won't have to meet him, ever. 

you shook your head and got a grip of your current situation. late for a class is what matters now. you shouldn't be concerned about last night. 

you opened your classroom door slowly. you expected wooyoung would reserve a seat for you, but he didn't. luckily, the professor hadn't arrived yet. you glared at wooyoung and some guy beside him.

he was talking to wooyoung, and suddenly he chuckled. a small tint of dimple came across his cheek. his dimples spellbind you. you didn't notice your knees hit his chair. "oh, ms. (y/n), glad to know you're alive, " your best friend said. 

you snapped yourself out from the spellbind of wooyoung's friend dimples. "good morning, woo, " you said. "morning, my eternal love, " he winked at you. you rolled your eyes at him and stared at the seat next to some guy. "oh, i'm sorry, " that some guy self-consciously tried to change his seat. 

"oh, no, san. stay here. (y/n) could sit next to you, " wooyoung said while holding back san's hand. you just learned his name is san. it sounded like the word sun. warm, and it seems like he's passionate.

"really? are you okay with that, (y/n)? " he asked. "yeah, sure, " you nodded at him shyly. you took the seat beside him.

"oh, yeah. san, meet (y/n). she's my soulmate. (y/n), this is san. we just met, " wooyoung said. "hi, (y/n), what a nice name, " he smiled at you.

you couldn't resist the feeling of fluttering butterflies inside your stomach. "thanks, yours too, " you coyly tuck your hair behind your ear.

wooyoung, who witnessed this, was squinting his eyes at you. he's suspicious about the visible blush on your cheek. at the same time, the professor finally arrived. he was late due to nearby traffic.

the class started with you feeling so dizzy. hangovers finally hit you. you haven't had your breakfast because you were late. san had noticed this. he rummaged through his bag and came up with a mini choco bar. he took his post-it and wrote something. he poked your shoulder and then gave the post-it and the choco bar to you. 

in the post-it, it was written with, "hey, i read something about choco bar could cure hangovers. san, "

you smiled at him and mouthed, 'thank you, ' to him.

thanking his small gesture. you opened the choco bar slowly and kept the post-it behind your phone case. wooyoung saw your pale face while sneak-eating is so cute. he chuckled and passed some candy to you.

"eat up, so you won't be sleepy, " he said. 

the class is finally over. you cracked your knuckles and stretched your neck. you don't really think your not-so-appealing hair bun makes san's eyes locked on you, no. 

"hey, (y/n), san and i were talking before about having lunch together. do you want to come with us? " wooyoung asked.

"s-sure, " you stammered. wooyoung hides his chuckled.

"we're going to be the best trio in this college, " wooyoung claimed and linked his arms with yours and san's.

"where we're going to eat? " you asked. "oh, it's in front of our college, though, " san replied.

"it's a cafe. san is a part-timer there, " wooyoung explained. san covered his face with his hands. "stop, this is my first day, and i'm nervous, " he said. 

"no, it's okay. it's our first day at college, too, " you answered. "i mean, we could be a regular there, and of course, to support our best friend at work, " you said. 

you opened the door to the cafe. san guided you and wooyoung to your table, "go sit here. i'll join you after i change into my uniforms, " he said. 

"(y/n), i swear, you can't hide it from me, " Wooyoung said. "do you like san? " he asked. "babe, you can't lie to me. we've been friends since elementary, " wooyoung poked your hands. "woo, lower your voice, " you sided-eyeing him. 

"i mean, yes, he's attractive. who can resist his dimples? " you said. "i don't know, woo. you know how i want a safe relationship, " you explained. "you can try that with him. he seems nice. look how smiley he is, "

"excuse me, nice and kind customers. how can i take your order? " a soft-spoken voice broke your discussion with wooyoung.

you'd noticed that it was san. his broad shoulders, small waist, and incredibly lovely smile would attract a lot of customers, especially you. his waist looked like asking you to wrap your legs on them instead of an apron. 

wooyoung stepped on your feet, and you broke your thoughts off. "oh yeah, i would like a chocolate milkshake and a fettuccine alfredo, " you said. you heard wooyoung ordered his food. san repeated your orders and went back to the kitchen. 

the cafe was relatively calm, although it was quite crowded. wooyoung suddenly asked you about last night because he was worried when you left his message unread.

you told him about how you vomited on someone's shirt. luckily, it was dark, and you didn't notice his face, though. if you did, you could swear under your name that you can't face that guy.

the food had arrived. you and wooyoung eat your lunch peacefully. wooyoung paid the lunch for yours and his. "thank you for coming, " san said. "actually, san, do you mind if (y/n) stays here until your shifts end? " wooyoung asked.

you glared at wooyoung and smiled awkwardly at san. "oh really? thanks, (y/n). do you want another drink? it's on me, don't worry, " he looked at you excitedly.

you nodded at him, "sure, thank you, " you went back to your seat. it turned out that san gave you a chocolate frappe and an apple pie. 

san kept glancing at you while you ate your apple pie. his heart was fluttering with butterflies. he kept checking on you until his shift was over.

"hi, (y/n), sorry to keep you waiting, " san apologized after he changed his uniform. "it's okay, san, " you said. "it's kind of late. i should walk you home, " he chuckled. "where do you live? " he asked. "o-oh, i-it's a block f-fr-from here, " you stammered again.

you were so nervous beside him. "oh, me too! let's walk home together from now on, " he said. his dimples showed again, and this time they were accompanied by his eye smile. you blushed and nodded at him. 

"uhm, so do you have class tomorrow? " he asked. "yeah, one in the afternoon. what about you? " you looked at him. "i think i have the class as yours, " he answered after he checked his phone.

"do you have your shift too? " you wondered. "yes, and it was after the class, " he pouted. "cheer up, san. may i know the reason why did you work? "

"i just want to fill my time by doing something instead of going to college and home, " he said. "but, what if you want to hang out with someone? " you asked. "relax, i'm only working for four days per week, " he chuckled. 

you talked about a lot of things with san. the talk was light, and it was comfortable. he talked about how wooyoung forced him to sit with him. and you talked about how intrusive wooyoung is. you guys laughed about it.

you enjoyed his company, and you felt safe at night with him. you didn't know how much the talk went by during your walk, but you finally arrived at your apartment.

"this is my stop. thank you for walking me home, san, " you smiled at him. "you're welcome. goodnight, (y/n). i'll get going now, " he waved at you. you waved back and went into your room.

things escalated quickly after the day you met san. you noticed that san is an attentive person. he paid attention to every little thing you did. wooyoung knew about this, and he kept playing 'boyfriend' with you. he did that just to make sure about san's feelings.

until one day, you're so sick of his act. you asked him to come to your apartment and have a talk. you bought a box of pizza and a bunch of coke. wooyoung came around 9 pm after he finished his homework. he rang your door twice, and you let him in before he rang the bell thrice. 

you turned the movie on and let the talk begin. "(y/n), chill out. i'm doing it to check if he has any feelings for you, " he pouted. "woo, i swear, he asked me about our relationship the other day, " you chewed your pizza. "isn't it a good sign? i mean, if he's not interested in you, he wouldn't be asking that, " wooyoung said.

"maybe he feels weird about us? don't you ever think about that? " you asked. "nah, i'm gay. and i think he knew we're just friends, " he said.

"remember the day when you didn't come to his cafe? " he asked. you nodded at him and asked him to proceed. "after our class ends, he told me that he needs to be at the cafe as soon as possible. so, i told him to go, " he explained.

"and, he left me alone. but that's not the point, " he said. "i was taking some walk on the street after i was bored playing some random pc game. it was around 5 pm, so i decided to greet san at his work. i ordered an americano and a cheesecake, " he continued. 

"just get to the point, " you demanded.

"when i'm about to pay, i forgot that i didn't bring my wallet. i was on the verge of crying and told san that he should cancel my order. because it's embarrassing when you didn't bring your wallet, " he said.

"but? " you asked. 

"but, someone from behind me said that he'll pay my bills. he asked me what did i order, and i said i ordered an americano and a cheesecake. he nodded, and he ordered the same thing too. long story short, san saw me flirting with him, " he ended his story. 

"wait, you have a crush on someone? who is it? " now, you're more invested in wooyoung's love story. "yeah, " wooyoung shyly played his finger.

"what's his name? " you asked. wooyoung's eyes widened, and he looked at you with a loud gasp. "oh my fucking god, " he exclaimed.

"don't tell me you didn't ask for his name, " you warned him. "i'm so fucking stupid. i didn't ask for his name, " he covered his face.

"we only talked about casual things like hobbies and stuff. and he left early because someone called him to join a frat party, " he whined.

"you're being dumb for the first time, " you teased wooyoung. "who's wooyoung? i don't know him, " he squeezed your cushion.

"do you remember how does he look like? " you asked. "like cruella, " he said. "well, i don't remember seeing cruella around this neighborhood, " you claimed.

"i don't either. i really wish he went to our college, " he wished. the talk went on until some time after midnight. wooyoung decided to go home because he didn't bring his clothes if he chose to crash in your apartment.

you hugged him before he left your apartment. to make it up for not having a sleepover with you, he promised you he'll buy you a drink tomorrow. 

you woke up early despite staying up late last night. you decided to grab some breakfast at san's cafe. well, at first, yes, because you're hungry. second, you just want to meet him during his early shift. you ordered a masala chai and a honey toast. 

someone opened the cafe door, and a bunch of college students came in. you were trying to eat your toast. "as i was saying, that dumb girl vomited on my shirt. that's why i didn't come last week, " you choked on your toast. 

"no, i think you're lying, hwa, " some girl beside him said. "exactly, seonghwa, " a guy said. you lowered your head, untied your hair, and let your hair down.

you gulped down as your throat felt so dry. you panicky pulled out your note and distracted yourself by writing your homework. you called wooyoung immediately.

"what? " wooyoung picked up the phone.

"woo, this was a bad idea, " you said.

"i think the guy from that night came to this cafe. what if he sees me? he's with his friends. oh my, embarrassing, " you rambled at him.

"calm the fuck down, (y/n). if he sees you, you could play dumb like you always did when you do something wrong, " wooyoung teased you. 

you took a glance at them, and you bugged your eyes out. "woo, just come. you're going to regret this, " you ended your call with him. you calmly took a deep breath and sipped your tea. 

you were glancing at them, and you noticed that seonghwa was the guy from that night. his voice is so similar. after some time, wooyoung texted you. he said he was near. as a good friend you are, you placed an order for him. 

seonghwa and his friends sat way back in the cafe. you were sitting near the window. wooyoung saw you from outside, and he took a seat in front of you.

"why did you ask me to come? " he asked. "don't be obvious, but look around the corner on the left. i think i've spotted cruella, " you said. 

wooyoung's mouth gaped. he swiftly turned his head to the corner and, boom. cruella is there, right in front of his eyes. "(y/n), i think i'm going to faint, " he said. "i know, if i were you, i'd be head over heels for him too, " you replied. 

"the guy beside him is the guy from that night, " you whispered to wooyoung. "his name is seonghwa. i don't know anything about cruella's real name, but i think they called him joong, " you said. 

"is there any college near here besides ours? " he asked. "i don't think so, no, " you said. "so, if they attend the same college as us, why didn't i see them at orientation? " wooyoung scratched his hair. 

"hey, woo, i think they noticed us, " you whispered. "quick, hand me your notes, " he demanded. you gave him your notes and started babbling about copernicus's theory.

"i mean, yeah, theoretically speaking. earth does revolve around the sun, " you said. "i can't believe, even if we had the sun, dark matter still exists for approximately 85% of this universe, " wooyoung claimed. 

someone poked wooyoung's shoulder, "didn't your parents tell you that gawking is rude? " you gasped. you nudged wooyoung's legs from under the table.

you looked at the one who came to your table, seonghwa and his friends, and you felt an immediate embarrassment. "w-what do you mean? " you nervously asked them.

"duh, dumbass, " he said. "who the fuck you just called dumbass, " wooyoung aggressively replied. "i was just checking on your split dye hair friend if he's the one who treated me the other day, " wooyoung snapped.

"oh, i'm sorry. my friend here had some temper in him. my name is hongjoong, not a split dye hair friend, " hongjoong chuckled. you just awkwardly smiled back at hongjoong.

to be frank, seonghwa wasn't mad because you were gawking at him. he's just frustrated because he never thought he'd see you here.

he never thought you attended the same college as him. seonghwa was regretting the night he didn't ask for your number. he didn't know how to play it nice, so he chose the opposite.

"oh, hi, hongjoong. it must've been nice having a tempered friend, " wooyoung said. "perhaps, it is nice, " hongjoong rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"you're supposed to be my friend, no? " seonghwa glared at hongjoong. "anyway, i haven't had any chance to pay you back. dinner on me? " wooyoung offered. 

"sure. at the diner next to the college? " hongjoong asked. "great. 6 pm sharp, " wooyoung claimed. "yeah, cool. see you then, " hongjoong smiled at wooyoung.

"can't we get going, now? we're late for class, " seonghwa pushed hongjoong out. you awkwardly smiled at seonghwa and waved him goodbye. 

if you weren't that blind, you would see seonghwa's cheeks. it blushed, and he made his way out hurriedly. wooyoung, who managed to see those blushes, squints his eyes towards you. "you must come with me to dinner tonight, " wooyoung forced you to come. 

"you're going to make me your third-wheeler, don't you? " you asked. "no, i won't. i promise, " wooyoung pouted. "do you think they'll come? " you tried to convince wooyoung that they won't come. "nah, they'll come. don't be such a cynical, " wooyoung begged at you. 

thanks to wooyoung, the diner is your destination this night. you don't want to look like you're expecting this dinner. that's why you choose to wear your floral mini-dress. it has a soft touch of purple color. you grabbed your purse, and you put your wallet in. you had texted wooyoung, "i'm on my way, " 

you decided to walk there. san noticed you passing through his cafe. his shifts did end, and he was packing his stuff back into his bag. he saw your beautiful figure and decided to greet you. right after you passed his cafe's door, you felt a tap on your shoulder. "hi, (y/n), what's the occasion? " he asked. you jumped a bit because you were scared. 

"omg, san, i'm about to punch you, " you said. san giggled and patted your hair. "so, what is it about? " he asked again. "oh, yeah. i'm going to grab some dinner. would you like to come, too? " you looked at him, who was walking beside you with his bag on his shoulder.

"just the two of us? " he raised his eyebrows. "nah, wooyoung and some people will be there. come on, it'll be fun! " you claimed. san nodded, "sure, " and he smiled. 

you and san were walking to the diner. you were talking about your week, and he talked about how he saw you coming today but didn't get a chance to greet you. it's a bummer, but quite happy to see you there. 

his hand accidentally brushed your skin. it felt soft and warm. he looked at your smile while you were talking about your day. he had this urge to kiss you, but hey, who does he think he is?

he likes you. 

"sann to earth, " you said. san snapped away from his thoughts. "yes? " he coyly asked. "aren't you coming? don't leave me hanging on this door, " you whined. "i'm sorry. i just had some thoughts, " he claimed.

you haven't seen any signs of wooyoung, but you saw a familiar figure. you walked over there and tapped his shoulder. "sorry, i'm late. are you alone here? " you asked. he shrugged his shoulder. "hongjoong is in the toilet, though, " he said. he gestured his head to take a seat. you nodded at him and took the seat in front of him.

right after you've seated, your skirts went up to your thighs. san, who noticed it, quickly gave his coat to you. "here, i figure you might be uncomfortable, " he smiled. you looked at him, "thank you, " you smiled and puppy-eyed him. seonghwa frowned upon seeing you two.

he didn't know he was probably jealous. right before he could do anything further, hongjoong came. "oh, look who's here. hi, (y/n)," he said. "h-hi, " you stammered.

"i see, you've got some company, " he said whilst taking the seat next to seonghwa. 

"oh, yeah. i forgot to introduce him. san, this is hongjoong and s-seonghwa, " you nervously introduced them. "guys, this is san, " you said. 

"hi, i'm (y/n)'s friend. nice meeting you two, " san smiled at hongjoong and seonghwa. "likewise, " hongjoong said. "so, are you a freshman too? if so, why didn't i see you at the orientation, " san asked.

"no, we're not. we're sophomores students, " he claimed. "i see, " san replied. san was chatting with them, and you nervously pinged wooyoung's phone. seonghwa was listening to them babbling about something that involved melodramatic movies. 

seonghwa had noticed your nervous breathing. he tapped the table to get your attention. "hey, are you okay? where's the other friend of yours? " he asked. 

"h-he didn't pick up his phone, " you stammered. "were you always this nervous? " he was concerned. "no, i'm just worried, " you claimed. someone came from the diner's door.

seonghwa smirked at you, "i'm sorry, but i kinda overslept, " wooyoung finally came. he sat next to your left side. "oh, san, you came? " he asked. "am i not allowed to come, honey? " san pouted. "no, i thought you were working overtime, babe, " wooyoung giggled.

"so, you've found a new baby? can i still be your favorite? " you pouted at wooyoung. "no, you're still my number one, " wooyoung poked your cheeks. "good job, sweetie, " you patted his head. "okay, shall we order some food? " hongjoong interrupted.

after ordering some food, you guys gulped all of it. it was delicate. "i'm full. i think i have a food comma, " wooyoung claimed. "yeah, same here, " hongjoong said.

"anyway, thanks for the food, " seonghwa said. he didn't speak a word since wooyoung came. "yeah, sure. do you have any plan after this? " he asked. "no, not in the meantime, no. why? " hongjoong asked back. 

"you see, my friend yunho is having a party nearby. do you want to come? " wooyoung offered. seonghwa was hoping that you would come. he peeked at you, praying in his heart that you would come. san wrapped your shoulder, "come on, (y/n), you'll come, right? " he asked. 

you looked at wooyoung like you were asking for his permission. you're not a party person, and you rather sit in your room to binged watch your favorite movie. you do come occasionally. especially when wooyoung wants to be wasted, he would ask you to join him.

"i mean, yeah. you should come, " wooyoung said. "then, it's all settled, " san claimed. seonghwa chuckled at the sudden thought of you vomited on his shirt. 

after short ride to the party, you guys have finally arrived. you decided to sit near the pool, outside the house. seonghwa grabbed some drinks for you and, of course, for himself. he walked towards you, "here, " he offered you the drink. you looked at him confusedly, "t-thank you, " you replied. 

"i think i noticed something, " seonghwa said. he looked at you with a frown. "you always this nervous when you were talking to me, " he said.

you took a sip of your drink. "there's a reason behind it, " you chuckled. "really? what is it? " he asked. "i don't think you've noticed this or not. i might have vomited on your shirt twice, " you confessed shyly.

"i haven't apologized yet, and that's why i'm nervous, " you replied. he chuckled, and a smile appeared on his face. "i'm sorry. i should've apologized earlier. if there's a thing i could do to make it up to you, just tell me, " you coyly looked at him. 

he scoffed, "really? i could ask for anything? " he asked. "yeah, do you have anything in mind? " you looked at him, genuinely curious. "well, i do have something in mind, " he replied.

he didn't know what's the thrill inside him, but he craved this so bad. he doesn't even care if this is because the alcohol finally hits him or his own sense. 

he pulled you closer to him. he took your face in his hands and cupped your face. "can i kiss you? " seonghwa asked. you frowned your eyebrows and leaned your head to the side. "w-what do you mean? " you asked nervously.

you could feel his breath waft to your lips. there's a rushing course of excitement filled in you. there's something strange, but you did initiate the kiss. you closed your eyes, pulled his flimsy shirt, and pecked his lips. your ears turned red, as red as your cheeks. 

"i-is this okay? " you asked. you coyly looked at him. seonghwa noticed your blush, and he chuckled lightly at you. his male hormone can't handle this. seonghwa's breath felt heavy. seonghwa's heavy breath gushed through your skin again. "i don't think so, baby, " he caressed your cheek, and... he kissed you. 

he secured his hands, one on your cheek and the other one on your waist. he trailed his thumb to your lips in between the kiss. "suck this, " he whispered. you can hear his gruff in his whisper. while you sucked his thumb, he kissed you. your tongue met his, and he harassed your mouth with both his thumb and tongue.

the air suddenly felt so hot it made your neck sweaty. there's a hazy feeling in your head. you don't know if it's because you're tipsy or the need to be touched. you wrapped your hands on his shoulders. you're high and not in your right mind. so, unintentionally, you were grinding your body towards his.

seonghwa noticed his cock was tenting up against his pants. he bit your lips roughly before moving to your neck. he licked your pulse side on your neck. he pressed his lips against your neck and peppered it with butterfly kisses. 

you did try to hold your moan. until seonghwa ate your neck like it's his own meal. you moaned softly against his ear. somehow, in the middle of your hazy mind, you saw the trio was coming for you. you pushed seonghwa away. seonghwa looked mad and confused at the same time. 

"hi, woo, " you waved at wooyoung. with your disheveled hair, and red neck, wooyoung had noticed something, but he decided to keep it quiet. "(y/n)! yeosang was looking for you. yeosang had this argument with mingi about who's the most loved one by you, " he claimed excitedly. "and hongjoong had to separate them by saying you love him more, " he chuckled. 

seonghwa went quiet. "so, what did you do out here? " hongjoong asked. "talking, " you said. yes, you were talking with seonghwa using moan after moan. "more like apologizing about the day she vomited on my shirt, " seonghwa said. he's trying to tone down himself from the high he had been to. 

"what did you guys talk about? " san asked. "hmm, something about mind your own business? " aeonghwa snapped. "did we interrupt the of you? " wooyoung asked. "ye-," "no, " you firmly said

"yeah, right. woo, let's head back inside. i'm freezing here, " hongjoong said. "i think i'm staying. it's nasty in there, " san replied. wooyoung and Hongjoong went inside, leaving the three of you together. the air felt stuffy, really.

san sat beside you, held your hand, and he leaned back. "you're so brave for staying out in this cold, " he chuckled. you were shimmying your way to his shoulder. you tried to forget what was just happened. san attentively wrapped his arms around you.

you've fallen sleepy after he hugged you like it's a post-orgasm. he got bold and pecked your temple. he's drunk because it's visible to everyone. his alcohol tolerance intakes are low. he strokes your hair carefully.

"i consider you haven't paid your debt, " seonghwa whispered. you were too sleepy to understand and looked at him tiredly. "see you tomorrow, (y/n), " seonghwa pulled himself closer and pecked your shoulder.

san looked at him at a loss. "have fun, san, " seonghwa got up. "no. what the fuck do you want, hwa? you've been glaring at me since dinner, " san snapped. you're too hazy to be involved in this conversation.

seonghwa scoffed, "i don't know, san. what do you want? " seonghwa halted his steps to walk away. san giggled softly, "nothing, i guess. what about you? " he asked. seonghwa halted his steps to walk away, "neither, " he said and went inside.

you didn't think you would act up in front of san. so hazy and so drowsy feelings. you climbed on top of san, pecked his adam's apple, and straddled on top of his lap. "i'm sleepy, " you murmured.

it has been three days since that night. you didn't remember how the three of you slept in the same room that night, but you do remember some heated sessions that night.

that night, san was carrying you back inside. he looked for wooyoung to inform him that you're going back. well, san didn't do the latter.

he did find wooyoung on hongjoong's lap. they were making out, grinding, and who needs to know more? san was getting turned on, but he decided to tone it down.

"(y/n), could you walk? " he asked. "yeah, " you walked down. "our ride is here, " san said. seonghwa tapped san's back. "i'm coming with you, " seonghwa said. "why should I let you, again? " san asked. "we're on the same boat. third-wheeler boat, " seonghwa explained.

"yeah, san, let him, " you pouted. in the end, seonghwa did go back with you two. "(y/n), do you have your key? " san asked. you snapped your eyes open. "i certainly did leave my key inside, " you whined. " i have mine, don't worry, " seonghwa replied. "then, it's settled. we're staying at hwa's, " you said.

san rolled his eyes. he had his key. but, sure, at seonghwa. "we could've gone to mine, " san snickered. "yours wouldn't be fit for three people, " seonghwa chuckled. 

he opened the apartment door, walked past the living room, and straight to his room. welll, his apartment is spacious. two people lived here.

"make yourself like home, " he said. "we will, " san replied. seonghwa went out to grab some water. you innocently plop yourself down to his bed. san did the same on the couch. your skirt did nothing to make san tone down his high.

he''s not blind, especially if wooyoung did notice about your neck, so did he. "so, (y/n), tell me the truth about your talk with seonghwa, " he said. "you don't need to know, " seonghwa said while entering the room.

you giggled coyly, "it's embarrassing, san. i vomited on his shirt, that's all, " you lied. san hummed and nodded his head. seonghwa came closer to him and whispered to his ear, "do you really want to know? " he teased.

you sat up and tilted your head at san. "i'll show you, san, " seonghwa said. there's a rushing course of high in his veins. you, certainly, were still craving for more because you didn't finish it with seonghwa back then. 

seonghwa climbed into you slowly, and you leaned your back to his bed frame. "shall we finish your debt? " seonghwa teased. you nodded your head shyly. "in this house, you need to be vocal, you know, " seonghwa grasped your chin firmly. "yes, hwa, " you said. "master, " he demanded. "y-yes, master, " you stammered. you were nervous, but you really like where this is going. 

"just for you to know, san, you should just sit there and watch, " seonghwa commanded. san took a gulped down. seonghwa brushed your lower lips with his thumb, "suck, like a good girl you are, " he said. you sucked his thumb while playing it with your tongue and teasingly biting it.

he licked your jawline, bit your neck, and kissed your collarbone before joining you in the sucking game. the difference was he sucked your lips into his. you straddled on top of his lap. you could feel his cock behind his pants. you grind your wet underwear over him.

you peeked at san, and he was straining himself. "babe, you need to focus on me and only me, " seonghwa whispered. "i'm sorry, master, " you replied. your submissive and obedient self did something to san. he gripped tight on seonghwa's cushion.

san saw how seonghwa's hands traveled from your lips to your chest. he traced down your nipples through the thin clothing. circle it around slowly until it's hardened. he sucked your neck and licked it, "go, strip yourself in front of san, " he said. "yes, master hwa, " you crawled off the bed.

you stripped your clothes and underwear in front of san. revealing your wetness dripped down to your thigh. "babe is wet, " Smseonghwa whispered to your ear from your back. he placed his fingers on your clitoris and kneaded them slowly.

san's cock was there and visible. while seonghwa was fingering your dripping pussy, san bit his lips firmly. seonghwa had inserted two fingers in you, and you, surprisingly, humped them in and out. things were content.

"(y/n), " seonghwa whispered. "yes, master, " you replied. "san, " he said. "yes, " san nervously replied. seonghwa frowned at him, "master, " san replied. "open your pants and let (y/n) suck you, " he said. your pussy twitched while hearing it.

"oh, you like that, baby girl? " seonghwa teased you. your pussy twitched again, "yes, master, " you moaned. "good, now suck, " he said. san stood up in front of you, and you bent your body to suck his dick. 

san caressed your hair, and you were about to pull his pants down. you were until seonghwa's phone was ringing. "shit, " he said. "you're not going to pick that, are you? " san asked. seonghwa took the phone from his pocket, and he looked at the name of the caller. "fucking hongjoong, " seonghwa cursed. after the phone stopped ringing, a message came through. 

"he said he's coming with wooyoung, and they're 5 minutes away, " seonghwa sighed. "yeah, fuck, " you got up and looked for your clothes. you got hooked up for a moment with those two.

seonghwa went out to open the door for hongjoong. given the idea that he's the only one that dressed or no need to be dressed. san carried you to the bed, tucked you in, and pecked your cheek.

"i'm sorry. i got carried away. and, if you want this to ever happen for real, visit me at the cafe on wednesday evening, " san said. you tilted your head to the side, confused, "what about seonghwa? " you asked. "i'll ask him later, okay? " he replied.

you nodded at him and opened your arms at him. "come here, " you said. san giggled lightly, and he wrapped his arms around you while you snuggled into his hug. you could sense his perfume. it smells like you're under a warm sun in the forest. 

you fell asleep in an instant inside his hugs. never fell so content within his touch. you didn't hear hongjoong and wooyoung come. san fell asleep not long after you. cuddled between each other arms. seonghwa joined you two soon after hongjoong and wooyoung arrived. 

seonghwa woke san up. he told him to share. san rolled his eyes and moved his hand away from your waist. seonghwa hugged your waist and nestled up when you hugged him with your other hand. he pecked your neck, "goodnight, " he whispered.

you barely remember a thing, but you do remember what happened in that room. you decided to come to san on wednesday evening. you walked inside the cafe slowly and waved at san. he was cleaning one of the tables. he gestured for you to wait for his shifts to end.

after a while, he came to you, "so? do you want to do this? " he asked. you kept your mouth shut because you were trembling inside.

"what about we wait until seonghwa comes? " you suggested. "sure, did you text him? " san asked. you nodded your head slowly. well, not long after this, seonghwa came.

people won't remember anything when they're drunk. yes, people. except, you know for sure, from seonghwa's heavy breath, and his rough groans, after he gruffly sucks his teeth. he remembered. 

you didn't expect him to remember anything. because, hey, it's just one night, and you barely know him. but you didn't see the fact that seonghwa fell for you since day one. neither he nor san wants to give you up. without your knowing, they decided to share you for two. there's a gruffed breath and a slight lust passing through the air.

"you better start talking, (y/n), " seonghwa said. "do you want this to happen? " he asked. you played your fingertips and nodded. "use your words, be vocal, " seonghwa snapped. "yes, hwa, i want this, " you claimed. "well, okay, my place this time, " san replied.

when you guys arrived at san's place, san led you to his room and told you to undress and wait there. san promised you that if you're not going to behave, he didn't either.

then, he went out with seonghwa, waiting on the door's rail. you did as san told you. you could feel wetness rushing through your core. it's hot and dirty, and yet, you can feel the pleasure from it. well, you need to behave yourself, right?

you sat down and kneeled on both of your legs on the bed. you put your hands on your laps and wait for them to come. someone opened the door with clack commotions. seonghwa opened the door and entered first, followed by san.

"did you teach her to do this? " seonghwa raised a question. "yes, " you answered. "i certainly did not ask you anything, so shut it, " seonghwa replied. you could feel the sternness in his tone.

before coming into your room, san and seonghwa agreed that seonghwa is the one to take control here. san, or you can't defy anything he said.

"on your four, " seonghwa demanded. you toe the line, and now you're on your four. you were bending with your legs and arms as your support.

san went to your back, and his dick lined up with your pussy. he slightly placed his finger on your dripping wet pussy. he toyed with your clitoris softly, and his thumb was teasing your opening while seonghwa caressed your face. he roughly grasped your jaw and forced his thumb inside your mouth.

seonghwa whispered seductively, "suck this, baby girl, " he said. you sucked his thumb, playing it with your tongue, and swirled your tongue around it.

you jolted a tad by san's third finger made into your pussy. you looked at seonghwa pleaded, and he pulled his thumb off. he pulled your hair firmly and peppered your neck with kisses. he sucked, licked, and kissed it like a full-course meal.

you whined and whispered because, by now, you wanted something to be inside you. "san, please, " you begged. san giggled lightly, "not yet, (y/n), " san said. you bit your lips and tugged seonghwa's belt like you were begging him to be inside you. he scoffed, "do you want it, baby? " he asked. you nodded, but he pulled your hair more roughly.

"words, " he firmly said. "yes, master. i want it so bad, " you whimpered. seonghwa sneered, and he unbuckled his belt and tied it around your hands. he lowered his pants, and he teasingly brushed the tip to your mouth.

"you had to work to get what you want, babe, " he said. you innocently licked his balls like a kitten licked their milk in the bowl. you pecked them slightly, and finally, you sucked his dick into your mouth.

you swirled your tongue around his tips and sucked until it hit your throat. it barely fits into your mouth. it would be pleasurable once it hit your spot in your pussy. you sucked it like there's no tomorrow.

you could feel a twitch in his dick like he was about to come. he thrusts into yours steadily, which makes you gasp for air. with a few bobbed from you, his cum spread in your mouth. you looked at him in messy hair, harassed mouth with his cum around them.

while san is still fingering you and you moved your pussy around him. your breast jiggled, and seonghwa kneaded your breast. he traced your nipple with his other hand while the other pinched them. him, doing that sends arousal through your body, and it electrifies you. "master, " you moaned erratically. he squeezed it more brutally, "yes, baby? " he smiled.

"more, please, " you pleaded with a breathy wail. seonghwa groaned, and he went for your lips. he tongued your mouth. he played the inside of it with his tongue. you made your tongue inside him, and the dominance war finally occurred. he bit your tongue roughly, "stop it, (y/n), " he groaned. "san, switch, " seonghwa said.

san switched with seonghwa, "hi, sweetie, pleased me, " san said. san shoved his dick into your mouth. he's different from seonghwa; he could thrust harder and won't care even if you're whimpering despite his soft look, and his cautiousness with your pussy was just an act.

"san, please, " you whined. "suck, or you're going to regret it, " san firmly said. you swirled your tongue and bit his dick softly. you licked his balls and ate them. 

san was close, and he was about to come. his dick is twitching. "i'm coming, (y/n), " he said. he thrust in his dick harder. he cum all over your face, blended with seonghwa's, and it's savory like it's your last meal on this earth. you licked his tip before, "i haven't come yet, baby, " seonghwa said. He turned you to face his face, pulled your arms over his head, and straddled your legs onto his lap. 

he pecked your neck and bit it like he wanted to mark everything that was his. he bit your chest and licked your nipple, peppered your breast with a hickey, and sucked your nipple hard. his tongue played your nipple like a lollipop. "master, please, " you begged. "yes, you may, " he scoffed.

he placed his dick lined with your pussy. teasing your opening with his tip while san jerked his dick off, watching the two of you ride each other.

seonghwa pressed his dick inside of you and thrust it in slowly. you whimpered, "master, " you moaned. you placed your head on top of his neck and kissed them softly.

you could feel his thrust hitting your spot. you whined and groaned and moaned like it was your last breath on earth. it pleased his ears and kept thrusting into you harshly. the thrust is getting sloppy, and you notice that this is okay to ride him. you pushed harder and jolted within his dick. seonghwa groaned to your ears, "master, " you moaned.

you came first, and after a few thrusts of his, he came. he released it inside you. it felt warm and filled. it feels satisfying, complete, and content. you huffed a breathy exhale, and seonghwa pulled the belt and unbuckled them. san plopped down next to you; yes, you're in the middle. san whispered to your ears, "i love you, " he said. you looked at him softly, cuddled into his chest while 

seonghwa's hands roamed your stomach and pulled you to him. "babe, " he said. you giggled at him and caressed his cheek, "don't worry, i love you too, " you claimed. it was the best fuck in your life.

#ateez #ateez seonghwa #ateez san #ateez fics #ateez fic #ateez au #ateez one shot #ateez fluff #ateez smut #seonghwa x reader #san x reader #seonghwa fics #san fics

[tenelkadjowrites]

The Heart's Filthy Lesson - Seonghwa x Reader (NSFW)

🪓Summary: Your best friend has always been dedicated to you. But isn't everyone's best friend like that?

🪓Word count: 15k

🪓Playlist for this fic can be found here.

🪓Genre & warnings: one shot smut. (twisted) best friends to lovers. unreliable narrator. elements of horror. descriptions of stalking against the reader, violence against others (not the reader), unhealthy relationship dynamics. dom hwa. dirty talk. underwear is torn off reader. oral sex, reader receiving. choking, reader receiving. unprotected sex. creampie.

this fic is not meant to represent seonghwa in any way, shape or form.

               You’re fumbling with your keys, trying to get it into the lock without dropping your overstuffed bag. Why do I overpack so much? You curse inwardly. Every time, you swear that only essentials will be packed. Somehow, that ends up meaning enough underwear for a month and clothes for three different outfits a day even when you’re just visiting family.

               You manage to get the key in the lock, practically tumbling inside your small apartment on the third story. Unceremoniously dumping your bag on the floor, you let out a long sigh. Like all family visits, you’re glad for them but also socially drained.

               Padding into your living room, you wince a little. Way too much light in here, you think, I thought for sure I closed the blinds when I left. You turn around, fighting off the urge to take a nap. The trip is catching up to you, leaving you tired.

               But you stand in the middle of the room, feeling a strange sense of unease. The living room looks entirely the same yet you cannot shake the sensation that something is different. It’s just cuz I thought I had closed the blinds. But the words ring hollow in your head.

               In the quiet atmosphere of the apartment, you can distantly hear the traffic outside and the neighbor upstairs moving something heavy around. Your eyes slowly look across your kitchen counters before landing on a small pile of mail.

               Curiously, you walk towards it, picking up the stack. There is a small sticky note stuck to the top with just a quickly drawn smiley face on it, the ink smeared into the paper on one side. Frowning, you peel it off and go through the mail. All of it is from when you were gone –

               A knock on the door makes you jump, pressing your hand against your chest for a second. The pile of mail drops back to the counter, scattering across it as you go to the door. You don’t check who it is. You already know.

               Opening the door, you find yourself face to face with your overly enthusiastic best friend.

               “Hey, I remembered you were supposed to be back around this time so I figured I’d come over to say hi.”

               “Hi, Seonghwa,” You say, already moving to the side to let him in.

               He glances over his shoulder at you while heading into the living room. “How was the trip? How was your family? Did you tell them that I said hi?” Every word is said quickly, as if they are all fighting for importance and can’t decide what order to pop out in.

               You push the door closed, trailing after him. You’ve known Seonghwa longer than anyone else in your life – he used to live next door where you befriended one another at just six years old. You went to the same high school, even the same college and when you decided to move to the city, so did he. You lived on different sides of the city at first until a year ago, when the apartment building finally had an opening and now he lived just one floor under yours. The two of you were a team – you knew everything about him and he never forgot a detail about you. Things were comfortable…although maybe a little too comfortable.

               You cross your arms, leaning against the wall. “You brought my mail in.”

               He turns to look at you, smiling brightly. Seonghwa always had the same countenance – pleasant and happy. “Yeah, of course.”

               “I don’t remember giving you a key.”

               “Oh, your plant needs watering.” He leans over and touches the wilting leaves gently, already moving past the fact he let himself into your place without asking. “Want me to do it?” He looks up at you.

               You sigh, walking towards him. “Seonghwa,” You touch his hand gently, trying to get his attention.

               His expression falters just for a moment before guilt pops in behind his eyes. Seonghwa looks tired, although that isn’t new, because he’s always on his computer at all times of the day and night. He glances downward at where your fingers had grazed his skin for a split second. His profile is so familiar to you – the sharp curve of his jaw, the long nose, his perfectly plump lips hiding perfect teeth. This is the same man you’ve grown up with your entire life. You know objectively he is beautiful but you’ve known him for so long that it no longer catches your notice. From the time he got in trouble for pushing a kid bullying you at the playground when you were both eight years old to sneaking out while in high school to go drink to this very moment, he’s always been there. That’s why you dislike whenever you come off as though you’re lecturing him.

               “It was from two weeks ago. Remember? I had to let the plumbers in for you,” Seonghwa protests.

               “You’re supposed to give the key back,” You hold out your hand, wiggling your fingers.

               He ducks his head, some of his hair falling in front of his eyes as he looks down at the sagging plant. “It’s in my place. I don’t keep it on me.”

               “Fine,” You sigh, “Next time, okay?”

               Seonghwa bites down on his bottom lip for a second before his eyes lock on yours. “It happened six months ago. I mean, don’t you think – I think I’ve done a good job at not crossing a boundary since then.”

               You hadn’t been expecting to have this conversation today. But maybe that is your own fault for constantly putting it off. It isn’t even that you’re mad at him anymore. But coming home late one night to find him passed out drunk in your bed after using your key to get in just felt like shattering a boundary. You took your key back after that, giving your best friend a dressing down even though he was apologizing profusely. 

               “I mean, you technically weren’t supposed to use the key to drop off my mail,” You point out.

               His cheeks flush. “I was trying to be helpful,” He mumbles, eyes darting away from your face.

               You sigh, knowing you’re going to give in. That is how it usually worked with Seonghwa. He was always the overzealous best friend, eager to help you even to the extent that it resulted in too much on his own plate.

               “I know,” You reply, “And I appreciate it.”

               His face lights up, all earlier guilt and tension erased immediately. Seonghwa immediately begins to pepper you with questions about the trip back home, leaving the earlier conversation about boundaries long passed. You aren’t sure if anything you said even sunk into his head. Likely not, you think.

               After all, you know Seonghwa so well. You know what sticks to him.

*

               “Hey!” The familiar chipper voice snaps you out of your mindless phone scrolling.

               It’s two days later, after work, and you’re meeting Seonghwa for a coffee. The key issue is long forgotten, overtaken by the daily events of life that naturally take more importance than your best friend helpfully bringing in your mail.

               He’s pushing through the crowd of people that have formed looking for a late afternoon caffeine boost. It had begun snowing earlier and there are a few snowflakes melting in his hair. His brown jacket hangs off his thin frame, the same jacket he’s had for easily a decade because he doesn’t care enough to buy a new one. It’s well worn, fraying at the seams near the elbows, and you’ve seen it against the backdrop of a multitude of different coffee shops.

               “Am I late?” He stands by the table, looking down at you, not paying attention to the man trying to get past him while carefully balancing two cups of coffee in his hands.

               “No. Even if you were, it’s okay. I was waiting for you before I got anything.”

               You move to get up but Seonghwa shakes his head quickly. “No, no,” He nudges you back in the seat gently, “I’ll go order for us. It’s too crowded.” He is looking in your eyes. “I know what you like.”

               He’s gone then, back in the crowd, moving towards the counter. You watch him go, turning your attention back to your phone. Ten minutes later, Seonghwa returns, handing you the coffee and sliding into the seat across from yours. The table is crammed in the corner, a clear attempt to try to fit more seats inside since the snow is coming down.

               “I’m getting sensory overload in here,” You remark when someone smacks your arm with their laptop bag on accident.

               “Do you want to go?” Seonghwa leans forward, “We can go if it’s too much.”

               “No, it’s fine,” You shake your head, “I should have given more consideration to the time, I guess. How are you?”

               He drums his fingers against the table while answering. “Fine. The usual. How was work?”

               “The usual too. That project I’ve been stuck working on finishes next week – ow,” You wince as someone else hits your arm while squeezing through the tight space between your table and the next.

               Seonghwa reacts like lightning, too quick for you to even say anything. His hand reaches for the strap of the man’s bag and he gives a sharp tug on it. “Hey!” He snaps and the man looks over his shoulder with wide eyes, “Pay attention to where you’re going!”

               “Seonghwa, it’s fine –”

                “I’d rather walk in the snow than be in here,” He says curtly, grabbing his coffee cup and gesturing for you to follow.

               You do, and out in the cold, let out a small sigh of relief. Alright, maybe the idea of leaving the crowded coffee shop was the right choice. The soft layer of snow that is forming across everything is ruined by the many feet trampling over it hurrying to get home after work.

               But you walk slowly along the sidewalk with Seonghwa, neither of you speaking for a few minutes. You glance out of the corner of your eye to find him looking at you.

               He clears his throat quickly and asks, “What were you trying to say in there?”

               “Oh, the project. It’s winding down next week. I’m relieved.”

               Someone cuts in between the two of you and when Seonghwa moves back closer, he is no longer looking in your direction. “Is the project leader still texting you outside of work?”

               You blink, a little surprised he remembers such a small detail from a few months ago. “Yeah, sometimes. But it isn’t anything unprofessional.”

               Seonghwa’s cheeks are slightly red from the cold. He is holding the coffee cup tightly for warmth. “He might ask you out when the project is done.”

               “Maybe,” You reply with a shrug, “We’ll see.”

               Your best friend falls silent. The look in his eyes is from a thousand miles away for a couple of seconds before it snaps back into focus. “Would you say yes?”

               “I don’t know. I guess I’ll see how I feel when it happens.” You hadn’t given it a lot of thought.

               There is another silence which is unusual for Seonghwa who usually fills the conversation easily. But he seems to be mulling something over and is lost in thought – a rarity.

               “What about you?”

               His head snaps up, looking at you. “What do you mean?”

               A lone snowflake lands on the bridge of his nose. You lean forward and brush it off. The gesture comes automatically, instilled from years of friendship. You’ve brushed a thousand snowflakes off his face and shoulders over the many winters spent hanging out.

               “That woman at the coffee shop was flirting with you a few weeks back,” You then frown, “But we haven’t been back since. We could’ve gotten you a date.”

               Seonghwa turns his face away from yours, slowing his pace down a little while watching the rush hour traffic grow larger on the road.

               “No, I’m good.”

               Coming to a stop at the crosswalk, you nudge his shoe with yours. “You haven’t been on a single date in ages.”

               “So?” He turns to look at you, his eyes wide and questioning.

               “Nothing, you just work a lot from home, that’s all. I wouldn’t want you to miss out something fun because of that.”

               “Trust me, I’m not. I just am not interested in awkward dates.” He bounces on the heels of his shoes for a couple of seconds until the crosswalk turns green and he takes off like a shot.

               This is typical of Seonghwa’s walking speed and you try to keep up. “Was I overstepping?”

               “No,” He replies swiftly, his energy bubbling underneath the surface, “But I had a string of very awkward dates all last year and I need a break from them.” He runs his fingers through his hair, still walking at a brisk pace.

               “Right, I get that. I didn’t mean to come off like I was lecturing –”

               Seonghwa stops suddenly, so abruptly that you almost trip over your own feet. “You never come off like you’re lecturing,” He says, reaching out to help steady you, “I understand you just want what is best for me.”

               “Right,” The word sends up a tiny puff of air from the cold, “You’re in your apartment a lot except when you’re with me. That’s all.”

               Seonghwa’s hand is still on your arm but the grip is so loose that you can’t even feel it through the thick jacket. His nails are bitten to the quick. He lowers his hand once he knows you’re not going to fall over.

               He flashes a quick grin, the same expression you’ve seen a thousand times. Your shoulders relax, knowing he isn’t upset with you.

               “Is that so bad? Maybe I just wanna hang out with my best friend right now.”

               “No, there isn’t anything wrong with it. I just need to make sure you’re doing alright though. You’d do the same for me.”

               Seonghwa’s grin softens and he gently punches you on the shoulder. “Yeah, of course I would. I’d do anything for you. You know that.” He straightens up. “Now, come on. Enough discussing how I prefer to be indoors all day. Mental check-in complete. Ask me again in six weeks.”

               “Right,” You are smiling, your concerns about Seonghwa spending too much time alone now allayed.

               “Let’s get home, alright? I’m freezing.”

               The conversation resumes, the ebb and flow always the same, some topics circled back so often over the course of time that they feel more like well read books with their spines bent than anything exciting. But you like that with Seonghwa.

               With him, what you see is what you get.

*

               “Nope, not Mario Party,” Seonghwa shakes his head, stretched out on the couch in his apartment, “You turn into someone I don’t even know when you play that. Half the time, I think you’re gonna tear my face off.”

               You scoff. “Come on. That isn’t true.”

               “Yes, it is. Think about last time.”     

               Shifting awkwardly on the couch, you avoid his eyes. “Whatever,” You mumble, remembering cursing him out for stealing your star.

               It’s a week later and you’re trying to unwind from the stresses of work. The project finished yesterday which meant some relief. It is almost a routine now to pop over to Seonghwa’s, play a video game and unwind – to the point where neither of you ask to confirm, it just happens.

               His place is organized and tidy, in a way that you could never hope to replicate. A shelf lined with books is next to the TV, with another one filled with his Legos he builds to unwind. His computer with dual monitors is in the corner, the chair pushed out from where he hastily got up once work finished for the day. The apartment is comforting.

               Seonghwa gives you a knowing look and you drop the subject, aware he is right. He runs his fingers through his hair before turning his attention to the TV, leaning forward to grab the remote off the coffee table.

               “You hear from that client? The one who is clearly interested in you?” He asks suddenly, staring at the TV while booting up Netflix.

               Surprised, you glance at him and shift a bit in your spot on the couch. “He’s been texting me a bit.”

               Seonghwa makes a noncommittal noise although for one second, you swear his grip on the remote tightens. When he doesn’t say anything further, you’re unsure of where to take the conversation. He’s never shown much interest in who you’ve dated before – in fact, he’s always seemed bored hearing about them, to the point that you barely mention it. You wonder what makes this guy different but something in you holds back asking.

               “I gotta pee,” You say instead, and he just nods, swept up in whatever he’s thinking about.

               You head down the hall and into the bathroom. You’re about to sit down when you notice there is no toilet paper on the roll. Rolling your eyes, you open the cabinet under the sink and rummage around. Why does he never pay attention to this stuff? Better yet why are you surprised?

               The cabinet is as organized as the rest of his place but there is no sign of toilet paper. You try to remember if he stashes it elsewhere but nothing comes to mind. You think of your own cabinet under the bathroom sink and wince. Seonghwa has always been the more organized of you two. You’re lost in thought, pushing aside some cleaning supplies when your eyes land on a strange small black box pushed all the way to the back.

               It’s slim and almost glossy, completely out of place to be shoved underneath the bathroom stick. You chew on your bottom lip, curiosity nipping at your brain. Seonghwa isn’t the one for secrets. There’s probably Pokémon cards or something inside that he misplaced.

               But you still reach for the box, sitting down on the bathroom floor and opening it quietly. Guilt is poking at you for snooping through your best friend’s stuff. You can’t explain what is even driving you to open something personal that belongs to Seonghwa.

               But you do.

               There isn’t a lot inside.

               One pair of underwear. A house key. A small bracelet.

               Your pair of underwear. Your house key. Your small bracelet.

               You stare at the items, not comprehending what is in your lap. The pair of underwear is green lace, one of your cuter pairs, and it went missing months ago. Around the time I found him passed out drunk in my bed, a small voice in your head points out.

               The memory of the night replays. Coming home late, finding Seonghwa fast asleep in your bed, flopped on his stomach, wrapped up in the bedsheets as if it was his own room. You were frustrated at the lack of respect for your personal space. Seonghwa always had a tendency to do such things; back in college, more than once you’d wake up to him in your dorm with a cup of coffee in hand, somehow getting past security.

               But you snapped that night, under a lot of work pressure and startled at finding a shape in your bed in the middle of the night. Waking Seonghwa up, you angrily asked him what he had been doing. Seonghwa slurred his words, said he was drunk and apologized. He sounded panicked and ashamed but that didn’t stop you from demanding your key back. You hadn’t talked to him for three days while he left you a ton of texts and messages apologizing and explaining himself. It was the longest you had gone without speaking to him.

               Back in the present, you gingerly reach for the pair of underwear. Why would he take this? Your cheeks feel hot looking at it. Was he…doing something with this? Surely, that would be impossible. For a split second, your brain flashes a mental image of Seonghwa with his hand wrapped around the underwear as he – nope, no.

                You drop it back into the box, opting for the bracelet instead. It’s a thin fake gold band with a tiny cubic zirconia diamond in it. You wore it over ten years ago, one night at the summer festival. Your boyfriend at the time just broke up with you and all you wanted to do was stay inside until Seonghwa prodded you to go with him. You wore the bracelet then, with a sun dress, trying to make an effort to look presentable. Seonghwa won a stuffed animal at one of the booths and gave it to you. You don’t remember misplacing the bracelet.

               The house key winks knowingly at you.

               You shut the box, shoving it hurriedly back in its spot as your heart threatened to explode in your chest. Your head is spinning, wondering what the hell to do. Do you confront him about it? That is what you’re supposed to do. But what do you even say?

               You turn on the faucet, splashing cold water on your face while trying to gather your thoughts. Could it be that Seonghwa had some sort of crush on you? That is absurd. Keeping the bracelet would mean it has been a minimum of ten years he’s been pining for me. It could be longer. That’s enough to drive anyone mad.

                In any case, you needed to get out of his apartment and try to calm yourself down. You had a tendency not to think very rationally when emotional and it would be better to put some space away from Seonghwa until you figured out how to broach the subject.

               You open the bathroom slowly, trying to collect yourself and steady your breathing. When you enter the living room, Seonghwa is idly watching TV. He glances over at you and then frowns.

               “What’s wrong?”

               So much for looking casual.

               “My boss texted me and there’s some crisis with another client. I need to pop back home and get on a Zoom meeting.” You don’t even know where the lie came from but it leaves your mouth smoothly.

               Seonghwa sounds exasperated when he replies with, “You’re kidding.”

               “No, sorry. You know how it is. Big girl job.”

               “Yeah, fine, I get it.”

               You are trying to get to the door without asking him what the fuck but he meets you there, his hand on the door knob. You force yourself to look at him directly – this face you know so well, this face you’ve stared at a thousand times. The same face that won you a stuffed animal at the festival ten years ago. Nothing has changed.

               “I’ll message you later,” You say.

               “Alright,” He opens the door, “Later.”

               It closes behind your back, leaving you alone in the hallway. You stand there for a few moments.

               You have no proof but there’s the sensation of Seonghwa looking through the peephole at you.

*

               Not seeing your best friend for two days does nothing to help you figure out how to broach the subject of the tiny black box underneath his bathroom sink. By the time you see Seonghwa Sunday afternoon, the only idea you have is to avoid the discussion completely and opt to veer the conversation into you going on a date with someone.

               The sun is lazily cutting across the floor of your living room while you pretend to be making coffee in the kitchen. Seonghwa is talking animatedly from the couch about something that happened the day before. You’re not really paying attention. Your mind keeps flashing to the night he fell asleep in your bed, picturing him rummaging through your underwear drawer to take a pair and slipping it into his pocket. You’re remembering the way he comforted you after getting dumped, convincing you to go to the festival. You can see him against the backdrop of the small white bulbs that were hanging off the booths, running his fingers through his hair while explaining with easy confidence how he could win a stuffed animal.

               “Hey,” Seonghwa’s voice cuts through the memories and you blink, looking up from your place at the kitchen counter to see him standing in front of you, “Are you even listening to me?”

               “I’m going on a date Tuesday night,” You blurt out without preamble, “With the client. The project that just finished.”

               Seonghwa looks thrown before clearing his throat and replying, “Alright.”

               But you keep going. “I think we have a real connection. It could turn into something.”

               For the briefest moment, Seonghwa’s face goes startingly blank. There is nothing behind his eyes, and no expression on his face. Then he snaps back into focus, his hands pressing flat against the counter. “That’s good.”

               You’re lying, of course, you doubt anything will come from this date. But if Seonghwa is harbouring some sort of intense crush on you, maybe showing him you’re into someone else will fix things. Knock the thoughts out of his head, redirect his focus to something else. Anything to get out of having a horrible discussion with him that could ruin the most solid friendship you’ve ever had in your entire life.

               “Yeah, I can let you know how it goes,” You say a little too quickly, “Might be good for me. Like, I haven’t had a relationship in a couple of years. I feel ready for one now.”

               Seonghwa pushes himself away from the counter, turning his back to you. “That’s great.” He plops back down on the couch. “Remind me again what I know about this guy.”

               You decide to take this opportunity to really sell this man, to truly drive it home that this could be someone that you will be smitten with. You spend the next five minutes prattling on about him. At one point, you sit on the couch, on the opposite side of where Seonghwa is, still enthusiastically talking about a man you’ve barely thought of the entire time you worked with him. 

               Seonghwa’s face is slightly tilted with his arm propped up on the side of the couch, hand resting against his cheek. He’s looking at the wall, eyes distant. You’re trying to stay the course and see your speech through while at the same time studying his face for any sign that this onslaught of information is settling in. But there isn’t anything, not even a clenching of his jaw.

               Running out of breath, you stop speaking and the room lapses into silence. Seonghwa stirs, turning his face in your direction. There it is once more – the same blank stare from earlier. Nothing behind his eyes, gone in a flash, replaced with the same Seonghwa you knew. You swallow hard, suddenly feeling a little off kilter. There is something unfamiliar in that blankness, something that is brand new ground in the relationship with your best friend.

               “Well, you sound excited,” He says casually, “You’ll have to let me know how it goes.”

               Your shoulders relax slightly. Are you overthinking everything? If Seonghwa was upset, you’d notice, right? You’ve seen him angry or annoyed a thousand times before. But the box still tugs at your sleeve. There’s a reason he has that. There is a reason he kept the underwear, the bracelet, the key. But the idea of asking your best friend why he has a box with such contents makes you want to jump off a cliff.

               And Seonghwa is…comforting. Maybe it is selfish to think of him that way and to want nothing to change, especially if things are different at his end. But he’s been in your life for so long that the idea of him potentially not wanting to be around you anymore due to a crush forming makes your anxiety spike. He’s been there through everything…You can get stuff back on track. You can fix things without mentioning the box.

               You’re sure of it.

*

               Typically, the process of getting ready for a date is somewhat fun and enjoyable. You tend to overthink your outfit but other than that, you like listening to music, doing your makeup and wondering how the night will go.

               This date doesn’t feel like that, mostly because the entire time you’re getting ready, your mind keeps going to Seonghwa.

               You’ve been overanalyzing his behavior since your Oscar winning performance convincing him this date is important. It’s been a few days since your speech and he seems exactly the same. Maybe a little more reserved if you truly look at the small details. But that could be work related, you argue, maybe I need to stop being so self-absorbed and think that everything has to do with me.

               But then you think back to the box with your underwear, bracelet and key. Any rational person would just talk to their best friend about it. Instead, you’re forcing yourself to go on this date in hopes of avoiding it because you’re being selfish, putting your feelings before his and wanting everything to remain normal.

               Your phone suddenly rings, startling you out of your brooding. It’s your client – no, your date.

               “Hello?”

               “Hey, listen,” His voice comes out fast and urgent, “I am so sorry but I’m going to have to cancel.”

               “What? Why?” It comes out way more demanding than intended but you had been banking on this…

               “Some fucking psycho ruined my car! It’s all smashed up! Like, it’s completely fucking ruined!” The client’s voice pitches higher in anxiety and an undercurrent of fear.

               You grip the phone tightly while exclaiming, “What?!”

               “My tires are slashed, my windows are blown out! The doors have these deep gash marks in the side like some lunatic took a fucking axe to it! Even the insides are cut up…Christ, I gotta go, okay? I’m really sorry. We’ll reschedule, I promise.”

               “No, of course, I understand. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe that happened,” You say in shock, “That’s horrible.”

               “Thanks. Again, really sorry. I’ll call you, okay?”

               The call ends as suddenly as it began. You stare at your phone for a few seconds, feeling a wave of sympathy for your client. It would be horrible to deal with your car getting messed up like that. But this meant the date was pushed back…

               Looking at yourself in the mirror, you wondered what to do now. Normally when plans fell through, you’d hang out with Seonghwa. If he found out the date got cancelled and you didn’t come over, he could think you’re avoiding him. But showing up all dolled up for a date that had nothing to do with him could be rubbing his face in things too, couldn’t it?

               “I’m so sick of overthinking,” You mumble, leaving your bathroom and trying to find a hoodie to tug over your outfit, yanking it on over your head, adjusting it a bit and then grabbing your bag, “I don’t care.”

               You’re lying – you care more than you’d like to admit, both about Seonghwa and whatever is going on with his feelings towards you and the fact deep down you’re aware that you are handling this poorly.

               A few minutes later, you’re knocking on the front door of Seonghwa’s apartment. While you do have a key to his place, you weren’t going to violate that boundary even though you knew he wouldn’t see it that way.

               No one answers.

               You knock again but this time you go, “Hey, Seonghwa?”

               Now, you can hear shuffling inside the apartment followed by a muffled, “Just a second!”

               The door opens a second later. Seonghwa has clearly just gotten out of the shower. His hair is still soaking wet, dripping onto his black t-shirt. He runs his hands through his hair, trying to smooth it out but all that does is send some water droplets flying to the floor.

               “What, were you taking a swim?” You joke.

               His eyes land on you. “Wasn’t expecting you to come by. I thought you had that date.”

               “I did but he had to cancel,” You reply as Seonghwa moves to let you inside, “He called me and told me like…his car got fucked up.”

               “His car got fucked up,” He deadpans, raising one eyebrow, “Are you sure he isn’t lying?”

               You scoff. “Seriously? Who would lie about that? He told me someone slashed his tires, broke his windows, banged up the doors and shit. So, he needed to go deal with it. We’re gonna reschedule.”

               Seonghwa runs one hand through his hair again, seemingly unbothered by how wet it is. Even his t-shirt is damp, clinging to his frame. He flexes his fingers on his right hand, an action that is unfamiliar to you. The muscles in his arms move. You’re staring and don’t know why. It’s like he was mid shower when he got out or something, you think.

               “So, I’m the backup plan?” He asks and there’s a strange edge to the sentence, stripping it of any humor.

               You blink, thrown by the tone. “No, I didn’t…”

               But Seonghwa smiles then, and his voice is back to normal. “It’s cool. I wasn’t doing anything tonight. We can hang out. You wanna watch TV?”

               You nod, trailing after him into the comfort of his living room. He goes into the kitchen, opening the fridge and leaning forward to try to find something to drink. His t-shirt lays flat across his back, his black hair curling against the nape of his neck, still dripping onto the tile. You stare at him for a few seconds before settling in on the couch. You’re suddenly acutely aware of the dress you’re wearing although most of it is covered up by the hoodie. He didn’t seem to notice your outfit or makeup anyway. Be serious. He’s seen you on dates a lot of times.

               There is the sound of a beer opening as Seonghwa returns to the couch, tossing you a bottle of water as he plops down next to you. You glance at him out of the corner of your eyes as he takes a swig from the beer, his Adam’s apple bobbing while swallowing.

               “Aren’t you afraid you’re going to ruin the couch with your hair dripping everywhere?”

               He tilts his face in your direction and then rests his head directly on the back of the couch. You roll your eyes.

               “Get a towel.”

               “Nah, I’m good.”

               “You’re just trying to annoy me now.”

               “Yup.”

               The exchange is so normal and familiar that you don’t even realize you’ve sunken onto the couch next to him as he flips through the channels. The two of you lapse into a comfortable silence, so comfortable that you forget the box stuffed away in Seonghwa’s bathroom for the first time since discovering it.

               Apparently, he is comfortable too because at some point, you realize you’re hearing soft snoring. Surprised, you look over at him. He’s dozed off, eyes closed, chest rising and falling peacefully. His mouth is open slightly, head to the side, blissfully unaware of his wet hair. Seonghwa often kept odd hours and it wasn’t so strange for him to fall asleep as soon as he got even mildly relaxed.

               Mixed emotions are mingling inside your chest – a concoction of anxiety, peacefulness, and a sense of impending doom. In this quiet moment, it is as though you’re standing on a beach watching a tsunami approach. You’ve been trying so hard to run from the change that swept in with discovering that tiny box underneath the bathroom sink.

               You want to lean over and wake Seonghwa up, just ask him what is going on. But you still balk at the conversation and at tarnishing this moment where everything feels so normal.

               You wonder if the box is still under the sink.

               Maybe you imagined it.

               With one last glance at Seonghwa, you get up. Even though you’re walking to the bathroom, you cannot shake the guilt feeling swooping over your chest. You glance over your shoulder. He’s still perfectly asleep.

  Seonghwa’s bedroom door is next to the bathroom, slightly ajar. You glance inside out of habit. His bed is perfectly made with a couple of framed posters on the walls. There isn’t anything out of place but…

Maybe it’s the way the light from the hallway lays across the carpet or maybe you’re spending too long looking inside but before you completely pass by something shines for a split second. You slow down and then stop, hovering in the doorway to his room. Your heart is beating quickly now.

One final look in Seonghwa’s direction to ensure he’s sleeping sends you into his bedroom. Now who is breaking boundaries? A little voice in your head remarks cruelly. You cross the carpet towards what caught your eye – the glint of something similar to a knife. The bathroom towel has been quickly thrown over whatever it is.

Bending down, your fingers hover over the towel. Your entire body is screaming for you just to leave and get out of there. You’re snooping, you’re keeping secrets, you’re posturing as if Seonghwa has done something unforgiveable but meanwhile you’re not doing anything better –

You snatch the towel off the object and your heart falls into a pool of ice water.

An axe is laying on the floor. You stare at it while the hair on the back of your neck stands up. “The doors have these deep gash marks in the side like some lunatic took a fucking axe to it!” The words of your date ring in your head with deafening volume. You think about Seonghwa asking for information about the client and how you babbled endlessly in order to convince him this date was real. You knocked on the door and he hadn’t been ready for you, soaking wet, barely toweled off as if he had been busy…what, hiding the axe under the towel?

This is insane. Do you realize what your brain is jumping to? What are you trying to suggest? That Seonghwa went out to this guy’s place and ruined his car? Do you know what that implies? It implies he’s not just crushing on you. It implies there’s something…wrong. There’s something wrong with him. That’s what you’re thinking about your best friend right now.

The anxiety hits you full force in the chest then. You can hardly breathe, quickly covering up the axe and stumbling to your feet. You didn’t know what to do. You don’t even know what to say to him. The most important thing is getting out of here –

“What are you doing?”

You almost jump out of your skin, whirling around to see Seonghwa’s figure in the doorway. His face is half in shadow and one hand is on the door frame. You take a step back, almost tripping over the axe while straightening up.

“I thought you were sleeping,” You mumble and all efforts to make your voice sound normal fail.

“I woke up.” His voice is different, altered.

Seonghwa takes a step into the room and his face is clearer now. Yet there is that same look you have seen flashes of before. The complete emptiness of expression, the utter blankness behind his eyes. There is nothing familiar about him now.

“Now,” He says in a cold voice, “Who is the one breaking boundaries?”

You swallow hard while your brain fumbles for an excuse. But instead of speaking one, what leaves your mouth is, “Why do you have an axe?”

“Is it illegal to own one?”

“No but it’s a little strange to have it on your bedroom floor underneath a towel.” You try to make it come out like a lighthearted joke but your voice quivers, giving you away.

Seonghwa takes another step. In exchange, you back up, over the axe and closer to his night table. It seems ridiculous to be afraid of your best friend. But it also is ridiculous to have a secret box in the bathroom and an axe on the floor.

His right hand flexes and his jaw is clenched. You get the feeling he is trying to wrangle himself under control – but from what? He has all the qualities of the Seonghwa you know but it’s like someone smeared him with a layer of paint and distorted him.

You try again. “Why do you have the axe, Seonghwa?”

He doesn’t answer. Just moves closer. You’re cornered now. He’s near enough to touch, to grab his shirt and demand he answer you – this man you don’t know, this man you’re realizing you might not know at all.

“Why are you in my room?” Seonghwa makes a small noise, a tsk tsk, before adding, “Gonna have to ask for my key back, I think. Didn’t we just discuss boundaries?”

Up this close, you can better see the blankness in his eyes. You can smell the familiar scent of his shampoo and body wash. Your mind is telling you to run but your heart is whispering that this is your best friend, just hug him and talk it out. You don’t know what to do.

You say Seonghwa’s name so softly, just a wisp of a thing against the boiling emotions that are brimming to the surface inside him. “Why do you have some of my things under your bathroom sink?”

Seonghwa recoils, eyes widening in surprise. Your brain tells you to push past him, take this chance and run. But your feet don’t listen. Even now, you want to hear him out. You’re desperate to prove this all some fucked up misunderstanding.

You keep going. “That bracelet. From the night of the festival. And my….my underwear. Why do you have those things? My date calls me, says his car got trashed and that it looks like an axe was taken to the sides and then you’re scurrying around when I knock, hide an axe under a towel. Where were you earlier? Seonghwa, where were you earlier? Why do you have those things? Tell me. If you don’t want me to walk out of here, tell me. If you don’t want to fuck up the friendship, tell me.”

He tilts his face away from you, eyes glassy, looking at nothing. He’s grinding his teeth, something else you’ve never seen him do. Seonghwa’s profile is striking but no longer comforting. When he looks back at you, your lower back nudges into the night table and your hands grip the edge, staring at him.

“I want to fuck up the friendship. I’ve always wanted to fuck up the friendship,” He declares.

You shake your head. “You don’t mean that. That’s not how things are with us –”

“That’s always been how things are with us!” He shouts suddenly, loud enough to make you flinch.

“No! No, Seonghwa, that isn’t true –”

“Don’t fucking lie to me!” His eyes are alive now, twisted, no longer blank but not belonging to him either. He’s so close to you now, dangerously so. The warmth of his body is seeping into yours. The rage is swimming off him, strong enough to knock you over. You have never seen Seonghwa so angry before…and certainly never at you.

“I’m not, I’m not lying,” You plead, wanting to touch him but too afraid of making things worse, “I’m not lying. I was just – I was just trying to understand. The box under the sink and the axe…”

“You’re a smart girl, stop pretending like you don’t know,” Seonghwa growls out, “You know why I have those things under the sink.”

“The bracelet –”

Seonghwa is bristling with an intense energy as he replies, “From the festival night! See, you remember. You knew immediately where it was from. It slipped off your wrist when you were at one of the games, landed in the dirt. I took it. I took it because that was the night I thought ‘maybe’. I thought maybe you’d realize how badly I wanted you. And I think you did realize it. But you looked the other way. I love you but fucking hell, you look the other way when anything might change. But I’m patient. I can wait. I can take care of things and I can wait.”

I love you he had said, so effortlessly, so easily. The air is knocked out of your lungs by his casual admission. Seonghwa doesn’t seem to notice nor care he said it. He just stated it as though it was a fact, like the sun rising every morning. He runs his fingers through his hair, his brow furrowed in memories.

“The underwear, do I gotta explain that? Like I said, you’re smart. You know. I didn’t think you were coming home that night. I thought you were out, picked up by a guy or something. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I had shoved the underwear in my pocket before you got there and it just felt so damn good to be in your bed. Everything smelled like you and just…it was just a lot, you know?” His eyes land on you. “It was wrong to lie, tell you I was drunk. It was the fastest thing I could think of.”

“You lied to me?”

“I’m sorry,” Seonghwa says seriously and you realize he believes lying about being drunk was the worst thing he did that night, not using your key or stealing your underwear.

“You’re – you’re sorry? You violated my boundaries, you slept in my bed, you stole my…and then you lied to me,” You reply aghast, “It’s like I don’t even know you, Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa is starting to look anguished now. He goes to reach for you, thinks twice and drops his hands to his sides before taking a step back, carefully skirting around the axe. Then he stops, considering it before picking it up and tossing it onto the bed, making you flinch again.

“Don’t act like that,” Seonghwa says sternly, pointing to you, “Don’t do that. It’s me, alright? It’s me. You’ve known me since we were kids. I’m still the same person.”

You swallow hard, unable to reply.

He continues to talk, pacing the room. “Listen, for how long I’ve been in love with you, I think – I think I’m doing alright. I’ve never done anything bad to you. I have always had your back. That one asshole back in college – that professor. The science one. Remember? I made sure to stop that shit before it got out of hand. He was out of bounds asking you out. That’s wrong. You’re a – you’re a student.”

The floor is unsteady underneath your feet. You’re staring at Seonghwa as he paces, wondering if you’re going to faint. “That was you? He couldn’t even come back to work after that. He needed physical therapy. His legs…”

“Okay, in my defense,” He holds out one hand to ward off your criticism, “In my defense, I didn’t realize until later I maybe shouldn’t have brought the bat down so hard.”

Your eyes fall to the axe. You’re almost afraid to ask.

But Seonghwa follows your gaze and he immediately makes a noise of protest. “I didn’t lay a hand on that guy.”

“But…but his car…”

“So what? It’s a car. Which he thought was more important than you seeing that he cancelled the date, by the way,” He is talking so quickly that it is hard to follow his words, “You gave me so much information about him and this idiot – I mean, he’s a real idiot, alright? He had so much public information about himself. I found his address in like, two minutes. I mean, this is not the sort of guy you want to be with. He’s too stupid for you.”

You’re feeling dazed now like you got hit with the axe instead of the client’s car. “How did you not get caught?”

“He doesn’t live in the city. Lives in the suburbs, some big fancy ugly house with a private garage. Slipped in, slipped out.” A thought strikes him and Seonghwa moves towards you, holding his hands out to calm you down as if you’re a scared deer. “But I didn’t hurt him. I wasn’t going to hurt him. You seemed to really like the moron. I just wanted to see how badly he wanted to go on a date with you. If his material items were more important than seeing you.”

Thunderstruck, you reply, “Seonghwa, you trashed his fucking car.”

He scurries over, extremely close to you once again. He looks so warm and inviting again, earnest as ever as he goes, “And he picked it over you. He isn’t a good fit for you. Not like me. You get it? Not like me.”

You can only stare at him, unable to reply. Too much is happening. There is too much new information occurring at once. And the way Seonghwa is standing there, looking so open and honest – the polar opposite of earlier when he came into the bedroom, is making things confusing.

Seonghwa tilts his head to the side, his voice a soft murmur while studying your face. “Everything I’ve done, everything I’ve protected you from is because I love you. I’ve always loved you. The entire reason I exist is to love you. I’d follow you to the end of the earth. I’d follow you into hell. Some part of you had to know that. You felt it, didn’t you?”

Your breathing is quick and shallow. You’re grateful for the barrier of the hoodie because you’re acutely aware of how close you are to your best friend. You’re thinking about him moving to the city, and then into your building. You’re thinking of all the various strange occurrences you tried to steadfastly ignore – people getting injured after upsetting you, job interviews that felt horrible only for them to offer you a position, Seonghwa up all hours of the night on his computer looking exhausted and claiming it was just work, the beleaguered quick expression on his face whenever you mentioned him going on a date…

Seonghwa makes a small noise in the back of his throat. “You’re scared. It’s okay. You never liked change and you were never good with your feelings.”

You squeeze your eyes closed while saying, “I thought you’d think I was smitten with him. That you’d…you’d drop this. And we could go back to normal. I didn’t think you’d…”

“Go back to normal?” He scoffs, “What is normal for you? Ignoring what is right in front of you?” Very slowly and carefully, he brings the back of his hand to your cheek, gently brushing it along your skin. The touch makes your heart thud violently in your chest. Seonghwa looks at you tenderly. “I would be so good to you. I’m a perfect fit for you.”

“Seonghwa…” You aren’t sure if his name is a curse, a prayer or just a whimpered plea to let things stay the same.

He is close enough to your body now that you know what is going to happen next. You should push him away, get out of here and call the police on him.

But you don’t.

Instead, you allow Seonghwa to kiss you.

Your mouth opens underneath his, tasting your best friend in a way that is entirely new. The sensation of his lips on yours is dizzying in the most twisted way possible. Seonghwa’s hand goes to the back of your neck as the kiss grows more intense. His tongue is in your mouth and he makes a tiny noise – like some small bit of him is finally finding relief. You aren’t even sure if you’re breathing, too swept up by the mind-bending things that have occurred in the last ten minutes. As the kiss deepens, you tilt your head to the side, your tongue against his now.

There is a small voice in the back of your head quietly asking you what the fuck are you doing? Not only is this Seonghwa of all people but he’s obviously mentally unstable. But there is a heat swooping through your body and there is a need cracking through something inside you that is made worse by the fact you’re thinking about how he’s always had your back since first meeting.

Your hand is gripping the bottom of his t-shirt. You aren’t sure whose ragged breathing you’re hearing but certainly it cannot be yours because you must’ve died ten minutes ago. That’s the only logical explanation for why you’re now desperately kissing Seonghwa; it just simply couldn’t be happening like this.

The heat is unspooling in your chest now, dropping to your thighs. Seonghwa makes another quiet noise while kissing you, so fragile yet tense, and it is in that noise that the desire and fear smash together and overwhelm you.

You push him away with a small gasp, wiggling free from the confined space and placing your hand against the wall to steady yourself.

“I can’t,” You gasp out – although is directed to you or your best friend?

Looking over your shoulder at Seonghwa, he’s staring at you with blown out pupils while his chest rises and falls rapidly.

“You can’t what?” He drawls coldly, “You can’t what?”

You shake your head while saying, “I should be calling the police on you. You’ve hurt people. You’ve damaged people’s property.”

“Oh, please!” His mood shifts quickly again, his tone hostile. He approaches you, so close again, enough to see that his lips are slightly wet from the kissing. “Stop pretending. Stop pretending you don’t feel it.”

But it’s too much – all of it. You shake your head, afraid of…of what? Seonghwa? No, something else. Something worse.

You’re afraid of yourself.

“I can’t – I have to go,” You say, pushing past him, “I can’t do this.”

In all your years of friendship with him, you’ve never run out of his apartment. There has never been any reason to. But you leave Seonghwa in his bedroom with the axe on the bed, quickly scampering down the hallway. You cast a glance over your shoulder to see if he is following.

But he isn’t.

And you’re not sure how you feel.

*

               There is no sleep that night, only replaying the entirety of your friendship with Seonghwa like a horrible movie in your mind. You try picturing him taking the bat to that teacher’s legs but it is an impossible thing to imagine. You wonder what else he’s done. He’s been off, slinking around in the night, breaking into your apartment, sleeping in your sheets.

               You roll onto your side, staring at the edge of your bed. What is Seonghwa doing right now? Is he thinking of you? Most likely, since it has become clear that all he thinks about is you. He isn’t a good fit for you. Not like me. You get it? Not like me. His confession bangs around in your brain, refusing to give you any peace.

               You’re back at the festival, watching him win you the stuffed animal. Seonghwa’s head is cocked to the side as he thrusts the stuffed animal towards you, grinning. You try to refuse it at first but he shakes his head, saying he has no use for it. His hair is softly glowing against the lights. His fingers brush against your wrist while accepting the gift. You feel a sense of contentment knowing you’re here with him and not crying in your room alone.

               What happened the next day? Your ex’s dorm room goes up in flames due to an unattended candle left burning. You remember laughing about karma with Seonghwa.

               But it wasn’t karma.

Unless Seonghwa is your karma.

Your brain circles to the one thing you’ve been trying the most not to think about: the kiss. It is something you’ve never ever considered. Kissing Seonghwa had always been something firmly planted in the realm of impossibility. Anyone of sound mind would have called the police on him, and what did you do? You kissed him.

And even worse, something that you can only admit in the dead of night when the world is still and quiet: you liked it. You enjoyed the small noises of relief Seonghwa made, how hot his body temperature ran, how his t-shirt was gripped in your hand. You enjoyed his desperation. You enjoyed his dedication.

What the fuck did that say about you?

*

               You’ve never gone this long without hearing from Seonghwa. It’s been four days and you keep expecting him to show up. You think he might even be waiting in your apartment every time you come home from work. You almost wish he was. But he isn’t. His silence is throwing you off.

               Maybe Seonghwa is going to skip town, you think in the silence of your bedroom one night. He might think I’m going to turn him in and he’s trying to get ahead of it. The idea of Seonghwa vanishing is eating you up inside. You just want to talk to him.

               But now you feel like the stalker, taking the elevator one floor down to his place with his apartment key in your hand. Even if Seonghwa ignores me, I’m gonna go inside, you think, if he can do it to me, I can do it to him. I just want to talk to him. Your mind is flickering to the kiss. You’re thinking about staying up late with him watching movies over the years. You’re remembering how he stopped going to the coffee shop where that woman was interested in him. You can taste him in your mouth.

               At the front door of his apartment, you knock. Softly at first. No reply. You knock again. You stand there, debating what to do. The key is heavy in your hand.

               What Seonghwa has done is wrong. It’s not just illegal, it’s fucked up.

               But no one in your life has ever looked out for you in the way he did and continues to do.

               His hair, wet, dripping onto the tile in the kitchen. His right hand flexing. The blank look in his eyes. The axe on the bed.

               Still no answer.

               The key is heavy in the lock, and the tumblers sound like gunshots as you turn it. Quietly, you push open the door and creep inside Seonghwa’s apartment. There aren’t any lights on. Silence settles across the place like a blanket. You shut the door softly, wondering why you’re doing this.

               But still, you continue, creeping down the hallway towards his bedroom. The door is open and moonlight filters in through his bedroom window, leaving a small band of white along the hallway floor. You hover outside Seonghwa’s room before pushing the door open wider to allow yourself in.

He’s sprawled out on the bed, asleep. You stand next to it, looking at the way the moonlight lays across his face. His black hair is messy, lips parted slightly as his breathing goes slow and deep. Some logical part of you knows it is bizarre to be watching your best friend sleep like this after using his key. You’re not any better than he is when you act like this, it scolds you.

But you study Seonghwa’s face. The moonlight washes his skin out. His bone structure is so familiar to you but tonight, you’re thinking that once again he looks like someone scrambled his face up with a large brush and showed you it.

You raise your hand to reach for his shoulder. You’re going to wake him up. To ask him…what? You’re not sure. You just want to talk to him.

But before you can touch him, Seonghwa’s hand reaches out in a flash and grabs your wrist, his eyes startingly empty. You gasp in surprise and almost fall back but he is holding onto you too tightly.

“You’re creeping around my place again. I might start getting the wrong idea,” Seonghwa’s voice sounds taunting, almost venomous, “I might start thinking you want to fuck me.”

You’ve never heard him speak like that.

“I wanted to talk,” You reply but the words sound so absurd given you used his key and were watching him sleep.

“No, you didn’t,” He retorts.

No, you didn’t.

Seonghwa pulls you down and you kiss him again, open mouthed and desperate. You gasp from the force of his lips on yours as though he wants to devour you. He’s half sitting up, his hand on the back of your neck, and you’re getting in his lap now, straddling him as his tongue slips into your mouth. He bites down on your bottom lip, tugging it with his teeth until you make a noise and the kiss breaks.

His hands are cupping your cheeks. Seonghwa is looking at you almost deliriously. You hadn’t changed before coming over, just wearing a thin pair of sweatpants which means you can feel him stiff in his own pair, rock hard already, pressing against your thigh.

It’s you who speaks first.

“Why didn’t you talk to me the last few days?” It sounds almost plaintive.

He’s studying your face as his thumbs graze your cheeks. “I was waiting for you to either turn me in or come see me. Whatever ended up happening, I knew what it would mean.”

Breathlessly, you reply, “I wasn’t going to call the cops.”

His thumb is running over your lips. Seonghwa is looking at you mesmerized as if he has never seen something so wonderful as you in his lap. No one has ever looked at you in this way.

“Everything I did, I did because I love you,” His voice sounds like a raw wound, “Do you get that now?”

“I get it now,” You reply, knowing it’s wrong, knowing it’s fucked up, knowing you must have lost it.

His grip on your chin tightens ever so slightly as his eyes grow intense. “I was looking out for you from the moment we first met. I have always protected you. I’ve always made sure no one would harm you and if they did, I ensured they got what was coming to them. You deserve the best. You always have,” His voice is hurried, emotional, “I always have tried to give you the best because I love you.” His fingers dig into your skin. “Do you get that? Do you understand how much I love you? God, sometimes, you would look right through me and it felt like the entire world was ending. Like the ground was just shattering underneath my feet. But I never dreamt of leaving your side. I love you too much even if you didn’t feel the same. I told myself I would just protect you until I died.”

His voice is pure agony, a crackling and fizzling of the years that have gone by spilling out from in between his lips. “You looked at me with such fear the other day when you were in my room, staring at the axe. As if…as if I would ever hurt you. It’s so absurd. I would never do anything to you. Everything I do is because I love you.”

“Seonghwa,” You breathe out shakily, “Your hand…. it’s too tight…”

His eyes drop to the way he’s gripping your face and he releases his hand immediately, apologizing. Your head is swimming, torn between the logical mind telling you to leave and your irrational heart pulled by his words, his love, his promises and protection.

But he feels so good underneath you.

Your lips find his once more and whatever remains of Seonghwa’s speech dies in his mouth, lost in the groan he emits when you touch him again. He shifts slightly so that his leg is pressing against your pussy and you react by grinding down slightly on his knee, just enough to feel pressure against your clit. Your breath hitches as Seonghwa’s hands roam across your body – fondling your tits through your shirt, down across your hips before resting on your waist, pushing you down on his knee.

He’s kissing and biting your neck, hard enough to leave marks. Your hands are in his hair while you grind on his knee. At one point, he bites so hard that you gasp and you swear that he chuckles quietly. Seonghwa pulls away, looking at you with an expression of mingled lust and something more possessive.

“You’ll have to cover that up for your date.” His words are like stone but there is a flicker of toying amusement behind his eyes.

“What date?” You mumble, slightly dazed, too turned on by the way he’s touching you.

Seonghwa laughs, his teeth like daggers in the flash of moonlight before pulling you towards him. His kiss is greedy, one hand sliding under your t-shirt to cup your breast. You’re not wearing a bra, having come over here quickly without putting much thought into it. You can feel him smirk against your lips, as if the lack of one is telling him something you’re not privy to.

He pinches one of your nipples, making you jump. His other hand is on your lower back, steadying you on his knee as you continue to chase your orgasm. It’s evident Seonghwa isn’t going to try to stop you. He leans his head down, tugging your shirt up so that he can wrap his lips around your nipple, sucking on it hard. He switches to the other one, biting on it. You’re making soft noises, a cross between a plea and pleasure, dimly aware that to be doing this with Seonghwa means forever ruining the very friendship you were once so keen on saving. But maybe it never stood a chance. Maybe time just caught up with the dynamic.

When Seonghwa pulls away from your tits, he grabs the back of your head, forcing you to look at him while demanding, “I want to watch you cum. I want to see what you look like when you’re cumming. I’ve pictured it so many times in my head – no, don’t stop. Don’t slow down. There, good girl. Oh, do you like that? When I call you that? Is that gonna make you cum?”

You manage to nod even though his hold on you is tight. He looks different in the moonlight, different in the manner he’s openly staring at you without hiding his feelings. There’s an energy rolling off him that you’ve never felt before, something bubbling to the surface and spilling out – who he really is. Who he hid for so long. You feel like a small bug crawling into a Venus fly trap but you don’t want to turn away.

Your orgasm starts then, after Seonghwa calls you good girl in that voice of his that is dripping honey while hiding a dagger. You can’t believe that you just got off from grinding on your best friend’s knee but you barely have time to come down from the climax before he is slipping your shirt off over your head and tossing it to the side.

He’s groping your tits, rolling his thumbs across your nipples, in seemingly no hurry to fuck you. You thought the orgasm would bring clarity, give your mind release from the problematic thoughts you’ve been having about your messed up best friend and allow yourself to exit the situation.

But you feel no such thing. Instead, you find yourself removing his shirt as well before kissing him hungrily while your hands press against his chest. His arms wrap around your waist and in one swift motion, he has you against the pillows underneath him.

Seonghwa is hot to the touch, his skin almost feverish as your fingers trail down his shoulders and along his arms. He’s moving downwards, his tongue across your nipples, down your stomach, obscenely leaving a trail of his salvia until he reaches your sweatpants.

Hooking his thumbs into the band, he yanks them down, leaving you in just your underwear. He nudges your thighs apart, pressing one finger along your pussy.

“You’re soaking wet,” Seonghwa drawls, sounding both pleased and tormented, “Underwear is fucking glued to your pussy.”

There is something fucked up and thrilling hearing your best friend talk like this. Seonghwa has always been so nice, so thoughtful over the years. Even when he would discuss his dates, he never dove into any details that would come off disrespectful. But now, mask off, it’s evident he’s perverted and unhinged on top of being psychotic. So why do I like it so much?

Seonghwa abruptly grabs the sides of your underwear and rips it with his hands. There is a loud tearing of fabric, his eyes alight while doing so, and then you’re exposed to him. Instinctively, you squirm, trying to close your legs. But Seonghwa is faster and his hands are on your thighs, keeping you open in front of him. His eyes look upwards to meet yours.

“No, I want to see how wet your pussy is from me. No hiding now. I’ve daydreamed about tasting your sweet cunt for far too long.” He turns his gaze back downward, one finger against your wet slit. “God, look at how fucking good you look,” The desperation in his voice is obvious, “What a perfect pussy.”

Seonghwa leans forward and his tongue is in your hole with a pornographic slurping noise as he tastes you for the first time. His nose bumps against your clit as he buries his face in between your thighs, trying to get his tongue as far as possible inside you.

“Fuck,” His words are muffled, “You taste so fucking good. You taste exactly how I knew you would. Can’t believe it took this long to taste your sweet cunt,” His hold on your thighs tightens, “Drives me fucking crazy knowing others had it before me. They didn’t deserve it.”

His tongue drags along your folds until he places a kiss on your clit, just enough to make you shiver. You know that you shouldn’t look down. It will make the entire situation feel entirely too real. But you don’t listen and instead prop yourself on your elbows slightly, just enough to look down at Seonghwa in between your legs.

His eyes catch yours and he lewdly flicks his tongue across your clit just to drive the point home that this is happening and you’re enjoying it. You sharply inhale, your hand grabbing onto the bedsheet. He closes his eyes, focusing on rolling his tongue over your clit slowly, just enough to drive you crazy. You cannot tear your gaze away from Seonghwa of all people doing this to you, making you feel this good. In the moonlight, his shoulders almost glow, and some of his hair has fallen in front of his eyes.

While Seonghwa is working your clit, he slips one finger inside your hole, meeting no resistance from how wet it is. You squirm, head rolling back a little from the new sensation. Still, he doesn’t miss a beat, continuing his soft licks on your clit while pumping his finger. Your eyes flutter closed. It had been a long time since someone ate your pussy this good. It is just fucked up that it’s your best friend.

Seonghwa pulls his finger out of you, eliciting a whine that would be embarrassing in any other case but he quietly shushes you. “Needy girl, you want my tongue back on your clit? Look at me when I’m speaking to you.”

You look down at him, your cheeks warm. His eyes are devious, a smirk on his face, making his cheeks stand out more than usual as he shakes his head to get his hair out of his face.

You nod and he looks gravely serious. “No, tell me. I want to hear you tell me.” His voice is ice cold, allowing no argument. You’ve seen him this way a few times, always when he is angry and never at you. No, always at someone who did something mean to you though, the little voice whispers.

“I want your tongue back on my clit,” You say meekly because begging Seonghwa for such a thing is a foreign concept.

He stares at you for a second or two longer before suddenly spitting on your clit and smearing it in with his thumb. Your hips buck automatically from the sudden pleasure.

“You’re so sensitive,” He murmurs, “Gonna be so easy to make you cum again.” Seonghwa sounds lost in his daydreams and you cannot fathom how many times he’s thought about this.

His finger is back in your cunt and his tongue is flicking across your clit faster now. He adds a second digit, pumping them hard and fast, stopping occasionally to wiggle them deep inside you. His face is pressed against your pussy, sucking on your clit and sometimes stopping just to spit on it again. Seonghwa is groaning when he’s eating you out, as if he is driven to intoxication from the taste of you.

You can no longer prop yourself up on your elbows, instead sinking back down among the pillows. One of your hands reaches down for Seonghwa, his hair wrapping around your fingers as you desperately hold onto him so he doesn’t stop. He makes a noise of approval, fucking you harder with his fingers.

And it feels just too good and it feels even worse because it’s Seonghwa, the person you know the most and the person you don’t know at all. When your climax starts, his name leaves your lips broken and shattered, forever changed by what happened tonight.

When Seonghwa pulls away, his eyes are ablaze. You’re disoriented from cumming so hard two times already but he pulls you towards him. His lips crush yours in a sloppy kiss. You can taste yourself on his tongue. When the kiss breaks, there’s a long strand of spit connecting the two of you. He’s holding the back of your neck again, looking at you as though you’re trapped in his web.

“Oh, my name sounds so good like that.” He rubs his thumb across your lips, and the spit makes a mess, “You’re such a pretty thing.”

You like the way Seonghwa talks to you as if you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. But you suppose to him, you are. You’re feeling an aching desire to have him inside you, to know what it would be like to be fucked by him. Tentatively, you reach for his groin, pressing your hand against the tent. He inhales sharply but gives a firm shake of his head.

“Not yet,” He brushes your hand away, “You’re going to cum again.”

Surprised, you open your mouth to say something but before you can, he places two fingers on your tongue. Without questioning it, you wrap your lips around them and then immediately wonder why you didn’t even hesitate. You swirl your tongue around his fingers while he watches, entranced at the sight.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty. I can’t get enough of you. Now, sit on my face.”

Seonghwa pulls his fingers out of your mouth, snapping his fingers at you after he issued his command. You’re not even thinking anymore, lost completely to whatever pull you feel towards him and the promises of more pleasure. He’s on his back, motioning for you to hurry up. You try to carefully straddle his face but he makes a noise of impatience, reaching upwards to grab your hips and yanking you down so that your pussy is against his face.

His tongue dives into your hole and you make a noise of surprise, gripping the headboard of his bed. He’s eating your pussy like a man starved, not stopping to let you adjust at all. His hands are holding onto your hips, keeping you in place as he brings his tongue swooping up to your clit, swirling around it. This time is a lot more urgent as though it is more for him than you.

The sounds of Seonghwa eating your pussy sounds graphic but it is the way he is moaning while doing it that is turning you on. You like how he sounds, so desperate and his voice muffled, and when you move your hips gently against his face, he makes a noise to let you know to keep going.

So you do, grinding against his face. He moves his tongue back to your hole and you can feel his nose against your clit while rocking your hips. Your clit is growing sensitive from all the overstimulation and sometimes your hips bounce a little when it becomes too much. Seonghwa notices this and instead of giving you a break swoops his tongue back over your clit, flicking it hard and fast.

Your grip tightens on the headboard but you’re close to cumming again. Your thighs are shaking, panting with your tongue poking from in between your lips as you ride his face. With one last flick of his tongue, you moan out his name loudly, unable to stop from how much you’re working your pussy against his face. This orgasm is somehow even better than the earlier ones although it leaves your body shaking. You slide off him, falling onto the bed, trying to catch your breath.

Seonghwa sits up, kicking off his sweatpants. With relief, you realize he’s going to fuck you. You’re unsure that you could handle another orgasm again so soon after the others. Your head is dazed and thighs sore and you’re pretty sure that your pussy is a mess of your juices and Seonghwa’s spit.

He’s stroking his length, drinking in the sight of your naked body on his bed with the same fascination of someone viewing a beautiful painting. He shakes his hair out of his face again while getting to his knees, his hand still wrapped around his cock.

“You’re gonna cum around my cock next.”

You give a small shake of your head, out of breath. “I don’t think I can cum anymore.”

“Of course you can,” Seonghwa replies simply while positioning himself over your body.

His skin against yours is heavenly and hellish, weighted by the knowledge you’re tumbling into bed with your best friend who isn’t as stable as previously believed. But what does it say about you that it won’t leave your mind? He’s propped up over you, studying your face with such intensity that you break eye contact, feeling exposed. His cock is pressing at your entrance as your hands go to his sides, gingerly touching his hot skin.

Seonghwa lowers his face down to kiss you while sliding inside your wet entrance. You arch your back, fingers digging into his waist as he enters you easily. His lips are back on your neck, emitting a sigh that is a mingle of relief and tension all at once.

His words are muffled as he goes, “You feel so good. Your pussy is made for me. I was meant to be in this pussy every night.”

Seonghwa is curled around you, taking his time. He’s moving slowly, lost in the sensation of your walls tightening around his cock. Your hands glide upwards to his hair once again, bunching it in between your fingers as you wrap your legs around his waist.

When Seonghwa speaks again, he sounds lost, as if he isn’t even present in the moment. “I love you so much,” He grunts, going still for a second to collect himself before thrusting a little harder, “I love you so fucking much. I’d do anything for you, I’d do anything to be in your cunt like this. You just had to ask. But you never did.”

Your body is warm all over, each nerve in your body responding to his passion in a way that you didn’t think was possible. The voice in your head that has been pointing out how wrong it’s been all night is eerily silent. Instead, you tilt your head so that Seonghwa looks at you. Your foreheads are touching and when you speak, your lips graze his.

“Tell me what you’d do for me,” You plead softly.

His breath catches, his cock buried inside you to the hilt while he replies, “Anything. You know that. You already know some of what I’ve done. And I don’t regret any of it. I’d do it again,” He starts moving his hips faster now, plunging his length in and out of your soaking wet hole while his breathing grows laboured, “I’d do anything for you.”

The words make your head light. You’re moving your hips in time to his thrusts, tugging on his hair to let him know to keep going. Hearing your best friend make noises of pleasure, noises you’re not supposed to hear from him, is making you only desire more.

Seonghwa shifts positions, just enough so that your legs are bent back so he can hit your sweet spot with every jerk of his hips. Your hands fall to the bedsheets once more, digging into them as he fucks you.

“You look so fucking beautiful taking my cock,” He grunts and runs his hand through his hair quickly with one hand to get it out of his eyes.

The gesture, so familiar, one you’ve seen him do often, strikes you in the chest. His desperation is evident in his eyes, in his voice, in every action he’s taken since he grabbed your wrist earlier. This is still your best friend, the realization dawning, this is still Seonghwa.

You’re just seeing all aspects of him now.

You aren’t sure what compels you to reach for his hand but you do, sliding it up to your neck. His eyes light up at what you’re requesting, that shark’s grin returning so quickly that it sends a shiver down your spine. His hand tightens around your neck while he fucks you. The muscles on his arm tightens; he pushes you back against the pillows while fucking you hard and fast.

“I’d do anything for you,” He repeats, voice breaking, “I’d have done anything you ever wanted if you just asked.” The pleasure is overtaking him and his mind is wandering, jumping from topic to topic, telling you all the things he’s ever thought about. “Fuck, my hand around your neck…” He grips you harder and you make a small noise which only drives his cock harder in your hole. “You look like a ragdoll taking my dick with your lips parted like that. I watched you through your window last week. You looked so tired. I thought – fuck, I thought about my hands around your neck, choking you while I fucked you into oblivion so you could sleep.”

I watched you through your window last week.

The angle and his hand on your neck is bringing you to another climax which you didn’t think could be possible. You can barely breathe, can barely move your hips to meet his thrusts. You’re so close to finishing, watching how Seonghwa’s eyes never leave your face, how intensely he is staring at you, no expression on his face as he fucks you.

With the little air you have left, you ask the question again. “Tell me what you’d do for me.” The words are so soft that you aren’t sure anyone else but Seonghwa could have heard them – he’s just too in tune with you.

“I’d fucking kill for you.”

And you’re cumming on his cock then. Seonghwa releases his grip on your neck so he can hear your hoarse moans. He hasn’t stopped fucking you, moving his hips the entire time you’re orgasming. You keep saying his name, your hips moving to meet his thrusts, making more noise than you ever have before.

Seonghwa pulls out, wiping the sweat from his brow before leaning forward, grabbing your face and going, “Open your mouth.” You do immediately and he spits in your mouth lewdly before kissing you hungrily. When it ends, he says roughly, “I’m gonna cum in your cunt now. Get on your knees.”

Your body protests a little while doing so, tired and sore from cumming so much and being fucked so hard. But once your ass is in the air, Seonghwa’s hands are on your hips, pulling you back onto his cock. He doesn’t waste any time and you know he must be dying to finish. You’re not used to someone putting their pleasure last like this.

The change in angle feels so good and you moan, prompting Seonghwa to go, “You’re cock starved, I love it. I love hearing you want more of me.” His hands slide to your lower back. “I love hearing you want me and none of those idiots you’ve wasted time on. All those fucking idiots. Made me sick.” He’s slamming his hips against your ass, his balls smacking against your pussy with each hurried thrust. “Makes me fucking sick to think of them touching you instead of me. They never deserved you. They never understood you, not like I did.”

You’re sinking into the bed, the weight of his hands on your lower back giving you no choice, your ass high in the air now as Seonghwa fucks you mercilessly. His voice is slurring at the edges, his words hazy like small things being tugged towards the light for the first time.

“I knew they couldn’t fuck you like I could or take care of you like I could. Just idiots, circling around you and I tried so hard to be nice. I wanted to be nice to those idiots because of you. Everything I do is because of you because I love you so much. F-fuck,” He does a particularly hard thrust and groans, “I wasn’t perfect. I knew I was doing bad things. Getting them fired from jobs. Snooping through their emails. Slashing their tires. I knew –” His breath caught, and his hands move to your ass, gripping it hard enough to leave marks. “I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t help myself. I was in love with you for so long and sometimes it’s enough to drive a man crazy.”

Seonghwa is fucking you so hard that you can’t even move. You lay against the bed, taking his cock, your eyes almost rolling into the back of your head from how it good it is. You couldn’t speak even if you wanted to. The way he’s fucking you combined with his speech is making your head utterly blank – it just feels so good. All of it feels so good. You think your tongue might be poking out from between your lips. All you know is he’s going to make you finish again.

“I’m gonna fuck you like this every night, I’m gonna – fuck. I’m gonna take care of you and I’m going to fuck you and no one is ever going to bother you again because you’re mine now. Tell me you’re mine, I want to hear you tell me.”

Using the last of your energy, you moan out, “I’m yours, I belong to you, I’m yours.”

Seonghwa grunts, giving one last thrust while going, “Now take my load in that sweet cunt of yours.”

His cum is warm in your cunt as he empties his balls, filling you up until it’s leaking out of your hole. You’re finishing again as well, perfectly in sync with your best friend. You’ve fallen on the bed, making an unholy amount of noise from the intense orgasm, completely overstimulated. Seonghwa has pulled out of your cunt, leaving a long strand of cum along your lower back as he finishes.

Your eyes are closed, feeling completely fucked out. Your tongue is heavy in your mouth; you couldn’t speak even if you wanted to. Seonghwa shifts behind you, sliding off the bed, leaving the room. A few moments later, he returns and you can feel a towel along your back, cleaning you up before he shifts, sliding closer to your body.

Seonghwa’s arms carefully wrap around you, pulling your body towards him. You curl up against his chest, eyes closing. He’s kissing the top of your head, his fingers trailing along your back in gentle touches. All his earlier energy is gone, depleted, and now he is soft and inviting.

You tilt your face to look at Seonghwa, reaching upwards to graze his jawline with your fingertips. He kisses them too. Would it be so wrong to have everything with him? To be so adored and loved with someone who has known you forever? His eyes are cutting through your defenses, nuzzling into the soft spot of your brain that should know better.

Your lips find his.

A cloud covers the moon.

*

               You’re wearing just one of Seonghwa’s shirts, sitting on the edge of his bed in the morning light. He left twenty minutes ago to get coffee from your favourite spot, leaving you alone in his apartment.

               You’re thinking about him.

               You’re thinking about the soft kisses he gave you upon waking, his smile that you know so well, the way he looked shirtless in the morning light.

               He had cupped your cheek, said he was going to get coffee and you felt a pang at him leaving, even for just a little while. Even just for twenty minutes.

               Relief swoops through you when the front door opens, and Seonghwa calls your name. He comes down the hallway and stops in the doorway. His jacket is already removed, just wearing a hastily thrown on Star Wars t-shirt and a pair of jeans. He places one coffee cup on his dresser, running his fingers through his hair with his hand. He’s smiling, sitting down next to you.

               “I missed you,” He admits bashfully, holding onto your coffee, his eyes dropping to your lap, “Should I keep it?”

               Your hands are curled around the handle of the axe. You look at the blade; your reflection is distorted. He rests his chin on your shoulder, peering at you, waiting for your choice. Everything with Seonghwa is your choice because he loves you so much. He doesn’t question that you’ve been sitting in his bed, holding his axe, lost in thought.

               You’ve been thinking about what is right, what’s wrong and what you want.

               You kiss his forehead, and he makes a noise of contentment.

               “You should keep it,” You declare, shifting the axe into his lap carefully. “Just in case.”

               Seonghwa grins cheerfully.

               “Yeah, just in case.”

the end.

#ateez fics #ateez smut #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fics #seonghwa smut #the heart's filthy lesson #kpop fic #100 notes #500 notes

[halotopicecream]

Thank you!

Okay, it's another Seonghwa request please because I adore the man.

Dom!Seonghwa+ sub!reader+ love-making+ praise+ possessiveness+ reader is wearing nothing but a pearl necklace.

Seonghwa just seems like the type of man to love his partner wearing a pearl necklace during intimate moments.

Yk… I’ve never thought abt that until now… but I actually see it—

-𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫

𝐅𝐭: Park Seonghwa x afab!reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut, fluff

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: pwnp (porn with no plot), mc has female genitalia and boobs but no gender is specified, Seonghwa is soft but possessive but softly,

𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐨’𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐪: I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted☹️ if it’s not what you were hoping for you can just message me and I’ll re-write it for you. This is probably the softest thing I will ever write and I’m in love with it

Nsfw warnings under the cut

𝐍𝐟𝐬𝐰 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex, praise, dom!seonghwa, sub!reader, very soft sex, fingering, underwear ripping (idk the technical name), soft dirty talk I think, creampie, tummy bulge

Seonghwa never understood why seeing you wear that silly little pearl necklace made him feel the way it did, but it did. He felt a strange sense of pride seeing you wear it, knowing it was the first gift he ever bought you when you first started dating a year ago.

And the fact that you still had it, and wore it, made his heart jump and his chest swell with pride.

He could stop himself when he pushed you down against the bed, sealing your lips in a sweet, passionate kiss that left you both breathless.

He needed to taste you, to feel you close and remind himself and everyone around that you’re his. And the pearls around your neck did it some justice.

“Wanna strip for me love?” He whispered, peppering the hottest kisses down your neck until he reached your sweet spot, licking and sucking on the sweet skin while you writhed under his hot touch.

You shakily reached up to pull your t-shirt over your head, Seonghwa back away so you could easily pull it off and toss it somewhere in the room. Next we’re your pants, and Seonghwa helped you take those off too. He admired admired the dark spot on the center of your panties, grabbing your waist band and tugging them up to make the touch fabric push against your clit.

“My baby’s all soaked for me, even if I haven’t touched them yet.” He cooed, leaning down to let his demonic tongue run over your clothed center. Your underwear was squeezed right over your clit thanks to how he was pulling them up, and he let his tongue flick over the pleasure button before moving to press kissed against your inner thighs.

“I’m gonna make you feel so so good sweetheart, leave you so stupid for me everyone will know you’re mine.” He waisted no time ripping your panties off of you. The now torn fabric was thrown off to the side and you were left with wide eyes and a hung open jaw, eyes shifting from the now ripped underwear to your boyfriends eyes.

“Hwa! My underwear…”

“I’ll get you new ones baby, don’t worry. I always spoil you anyways don’t I? I’ll get you a new pair and a few extra ones just to make you happy, yeah?” He whispered into your ear, coating his fingers in your juices before pushing two of his infers inside.

You let out a soft whimper, digging your blunt nails into the soft skin of his shoulders while he worked you open. “You’re always so pretty for me love, no matter what I’m doing to you. Always take it so good huh? My perfect baby.” His pace was slow and calculated, scissoring his fingers in and out of you.

“A-anything for you Seonghwa. I love you so much.” You sighed, melting into the bedsheets and letting him take care of you. Seeing you like this; pliant, patient, needy, and so so relaxed was one of Seonghwa favorite things. Yes, he loved making a complete mess of you; indulging in the kinkiest things you were both into until both of you couldn’t cum anymore. But moments like these where you were just melting into each other, taking in the other and really feeling, we’re times he wouldn’t trade for anything.

You let out a soft moan against his lips, arching your back as his fingers pushed deeper and deeper inside of you. “Hwa, please I’m ready. Wanna feel you in me.” He loved how you begged. “Yeah? You sure baby?” His fingers kept the same languid pace, groaning when you clenching around his fingers.

“Yes, ‘m good. Please, make love to me.” God that sentence does so much more to him than he thinks it should. It’s so intimate, more intimate than tying you up like his little rope bunny and playing with you until your crying. This was you truly giving into him, wanting him and everything he had to offer. You wanted him to love you, not fuck you. To make you feel like the most special person in the world.

He always made you feel that way: special. But making you feel special and ducking you through four orgasms and making you feel special by whispering hoe much you mean to him while he gently rocking his hips into yours were two different things.

You loved both things, but they were oh so different in the best ways.

Seonghwa loved when you told him to make love to you. He got to take care of you, feel you as your heartbeats bear in sync with each other while you felt good together. You were all his. His to love and cherish and hold.

“Anything for you my love.” He snatched his shirt over his head, wanting no layer of clothing delegating him from feeling you against him in all of your wonderful glory. His boxers— which were the only bottoms he’d been wearing— were thrown somewhere into the room.

He lined himself up with your entrance, rubbing his tip against your hole for lubricant before pushing into you slowly. You shared a moan of complete pleasure, and Seonghwa lowered his body to have his chest pressed against yours, feeling your beating hearts sync up in utmost completion.

The ripples of your walls ran against his cock, sending him through several stages of euphoria. He bottomed out, sitting still to let you adjust to the stretch he always gave you. You lied there in each other arms for a moments, just enjoying and taking in the other before you gave him the go ahead to move.

Seonghwa buried his face into your neck, his lips right next to your ear so you could hear his pants and breathy moans. Each thrust of his hips was slow and calculated, basking in the tight warmth of your hole and letting you feel the stretch until he reached your stomach.

“So fucking good baby. Love having you like this, all mine to life and care for.” Maybe he had a bit of a possessive streak, but he really couldn’t help it. He pressed a kiss to the pearls lying around the base of your neck before kissing the skin under it, continuing his sensual pace.

Your moans and whimpers fed into his pleasure, his body hearing up against yours and he wanted nothing more than to make you his forever, to have evidence that you were forever and always his.

“Hwa… ‘m so full, can feel you all the way in my stomach.” You always found a way to find something new that got him going. He loved away from your neck to look down at your stomach, seeing the imprint of his cock moving in and out of you.

He almost came immediately at the sight of it, and it only pushed him to hit deeper and deeper inside of you. His cock was pushing into your stomach so feel that it as visible, no one else’s and no one would ever do it. Only him, and him alone.

You were his and he was yours, and as you promised: always and forever.

His hips picked up in speed, but only a little. He wanted to drag this out, to be inside of you for as long as he could manage. You wanted the same. The feeling of him being close and inside of you was the biggest comfort you were ever brought. So reaching your high wasn’t even on either of your minds; just the enjoyment of being close and feeling good together.

“God, fuck I can’t believe how tight you are for me. You make me feel so so good sweetheart, love being like this with you; close and giving you all of my love.”

“‘M getting close Hwa. Feels so good…” your voice was so sweet and soft. It make Seonghwa’s heart melt and his cock throb. “Me to baby, just a little bit long yeah? ‘M almost there.” And it was the truth.

His hearts felt so full the entire time, and the soft moans of please you let out and the way your nails would dig into his skin when he hit deeper then before sent his reeling. His thumb moved down to draw calculated circles against your clit, pumping his hips quicker than before so you would reach your highs rogether

The breathy moans and pants Seonghwa was letting out earlier we’re not reaplaced with sharp moans right in your ear, the sounds telling you how good he was feeling. “Fuck! I love you, I love you, I love you— fuck I love you so much!” His hips stuttered.

“Hwa— ‘m gonna cum!” You whimpered, holding onto him tighter as the coil in your stomach squeezed tighter and tighter. Seonghwa nodded, kissing your neck to ground you and himself. “Cum for me baby. Lemme know how good you feel.”

The coil snapped. Your legs shook with vigor and you tightened around Seonghwa’s cock, squeezing him so hard it was almost hard for him to keep moving. “God!” Seonghwa never stopped circling your clit until you are pasted your orgasm.

“I’m almost there baby. Doing so good for me, love you so so much.” His breath caught in his throat and the throbbing his of cock grew more and more. You held onto him for dear life, a second orgasm approaching without you even realizing.

“Inside me baby. Cum inside, fill me up please.” Your voice was high pitched and whiny, the request being the last thing before he was pushed over the edge, and you fell with him.

Your highs hit at the same time, Seonghwa pushing as deep inside of you as he could manage. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, broken moans spilling into your ears while you felt your whole body convulsing and shaking with the feeling of his chest shooting inside of you and coating your walls.

He thrusted his hips one, two, three more times before coming to a complete stop. The room was hot and musky with the smell of sex, both of your sweaty bodies tangled together as you enjoyed your post orgasm highs together.

Seonghwa rubbed your sides and you ran your fingers up and down his spin. “I love you so much baby.” He said, kissing behind your ear while you remained plugged up with his cum by his soft cock.

You giggled, kissing his forehead in return. “And I love you too Seonghwa. Always and forever.”

“Until the end of time, my love.”

©HaloTopIceCream 2022

#ateez #ateez smut #ateez x reader #seonghwa x reader #Seonghwa smut #park Seonghwa #ateex imagines #Seonghwa imagines #Seonghwa drabbles #Seonghwa fics #Ateez #atz #atz x reader #atz seonghwa #Ateez Seonghwa

[yeonjuns-beanie]

Halo preview

a/n: heyy!! i’m in the process of creating a vampire seonghwa fic! ive decided to separate it into parts so the first half will be uploaded in a few days and then the second half(smut) will be up shortly. here’s a preview to what i have so far! if you wanna be added to a taglist just lmk :3 ~nero

warnings: a lot of plot, 18+, smut, unprotected sex, dom!hwa, biting, marking, light blood(play), hair pulling, body worship, yandere themes(stalking, manipulation,etc), dub-con, light fear play, some rougher themes

Vampire!Seonghwa x female reader

halo pt.1

Pressing record on your phone, you opened up to the first page of the journal massaging the page so that the spine would bend to your liking. Going to fish in your bag for a pen, you realize it was the one thing that you forgot. Sighing, you looked to Seonghwa.

“You wouldn't happen to have a pen would you?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

Getting up, Seonghwa walked to another desk in the room that was accompanied by a computer. Walking back over to where you were, he handed you a black and gold fountain pen that had the same exact markings that were detailed on the spine of the journal you picked up. Hesitant, you took the pen from him, your brows still furrowed as you looked up to thank him. There was a cold, obsessive tone to his gaze as he watched you inspect the markings on the pen.

“The same markings are on this journal that I found left outside my apartment today! That’s so weird. Kinda cool, but still weird.”

A little extra air escaped his nose as he looked at you with amusement.

“How peculiar.”

You felt your gut stir in anxiety for a moment but swallowed the feeling as quickly as it came blaming it on the fact that you had finally started the interview, and you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself. Surely, he hadn’t left the journal, he didn’t even have a fraction of an idea of where you lived. A fiendish levity was cast upon his face when you looked up at him again, settling in to ask him the first question.

His gaze was heavy. Unwavering as if he was creating a mental image of this moment to save forever and needed to capture every minor detail.

“So, what drew you to a town like this?”

#ateez smut #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #ateez x reader #seonghwa smut #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fics #seonghwa imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #kpop imagines

[hwapetals]

distractions

pairing - boyfriend!seonghwa x gn!reader genre - fluff summary - your boyfriend is tutoring you but you can't seem to concentrate on your work. author's note - i forgot everything about biology so i had to refer back to my notes <3 seonghwa is the same age as the mc, they do the same major but he's a year ahead due to mc's gap year. word count - 854 words

after taking a gap year off from university to enjoy life for once, you definitely forgot about everything you had learnt prior in your major, and seonghwa being the best boyfriend ever, graciously agreed to tutor and catch you up so that you wouldn't struggle when you got back to class.

as much as you wanted to pay attention to what actually mattered, it was not an easy task. you had your elbow on the glass coffee table, cheek cradled in your hand.

god, your boyfriend just looked so irresistible. seonghwa's long hair was parted, one side tucked behind his ear as he bit the back of a pen, eyes carefully scrutinizing your notes. he had a pair of circle glasses on, perched on the bridge of his nose.

instead of staring at your notes with him, you ended up just staring at him intently, your mind racing with thoughts about how lucky you were to have him. before long, you had zoned out as he read out your notes after fixing any minor errors.

"so, slow acting neurotransmitters last longer because....?" seonghwa spoke up, looking up at you before his eyebrows furrowed together, realizing that you definitely were not paying attention to his words. he leaned in close, blowing at your face to get your attention. "were you listening?"

seonghwa's attempt to divert your attention back to you worked, from how you shook your head an obvious sign. your body tensed up for a moment, your hands also starting to sweat from embarrassment.

"yeah, totally," you lied, with an awkward smile, wiping your hands off onto your clothing. you reached your hand out to place it onto his thigh before you awkwardly laughed. "okay, maybe not. explain it to me again?"

seonghwa didn't move but he cracked a smile, after sighing. he reached out to pinch your cheek teasingly as you scooted closer to him, the scraping of the chair's legs against the ground a little loud. "fine, i'll explain it again. don't tell me that you zoned out the entire time i was speaking to you."

he tried to feign annoyance, narrowing his eyes accusingly as he puffed his cheeks. you did feel a little bad... wasting his time like that but his damn reactions were so cute to you.

"i promise i didn't! only half of the time," you admitted guiltily, scratching your head. "but it's your fault! for looking like, this!"

you gestured to his entire physical being in a dramatic way. the gears cranked in his head for a moment to process what you meant, before he simply just laughed. who knew you were so easy to rile up?

"you got distracted because i look handsome?" seonghwa asked, thinking about ways to try to engage you more into the content, using himself. a little cunning, but number one, he loved praise and number two, he did genuinely care about your education and if this could help you concentrate, he was willing to use himself as a 'sacrifice'.

you nodded eagerly, feeling a bit of shame from how easily you admitted it. you squeezed his thigh gently, moving to grab his hand with a frown. "can you blame me? your face is a lot more interesting than psychoactive drugs."

"if you put it that way, not really," seonghwa joked, a small cocky smirk on his lips. "what about this? if you pay attention to the work, i'll, uh, stay over tonight and treat you. sounds good?"

"deal!" your response was almost instantaneous. you were one simple person, spending time with someone you loved as well as getting food sounded like the best thing ever. "i'll hold you to your word."

"wooow, you think i would trick you? never," seonghwa gasped in a theatrical way, pulling you in closer by the shoulder before kissing your temple.

"i didn't say that!" you retorted, melting into his touch as you snuggled up to him. your eyes turned to look up at him, turning away quickly out of shyness when you see how intently he was staring at you.

"i know! but seriously, we've got to start getting a bit more serious about this. i'll have to, i don't know, start writing up quizzes for you," seonghwa said sternly, patting your arm tenderly.

"well.. if you're gonna make me do tests, will i get a special reward in return for passing? like a steak dinner?" you questioned, mostly as sarcasm but you weren't really expecting him to say yes.

"why not? you deserve it for working hard, but only if you score over eighty percent. what? need to make sure you've got motivation," seonghwa suggested, but it was more like a thought-out plan of what he wanted to do.

you just sighed, almost like a disappointed reaction but you understood why and you appreciated it. and if it meant you got to spend a lot more time with seonghwa, you were sold.

"fine, let's start now! i’m gonna make sure to order all the expensive menu items once you treat me.”

“hey, you know that i’m also a not-very-rich college student too!!”

#ateez #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa fluff #ateez x reader #park seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa fics #glasses seonghwa nerd seonghwa ily

[wonusite]

The Thing About Pretty Boys

❝ You’re convinced that pretty boy Seonghwa could never fuck anyone stupid. He decides to prove you wrong. ❞

PAIRING: park seonghwa x female reader

GENRE: friends to lovers au, smut

WORD COUNT: 4k

WARNINGS: pwp, repressed feelings, overuse of the word pretty (sorry not sorry), seonghwa is HUNG, cock drunk!reader, pussy drunk!seonghwa, mentions of anal, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, multiple creampies, backshots, squirting, dumbification, possessiveness, breeding kink, overstimulation

A/N: this has been long overdue, and i hope you guys like it! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

“There’s no way.”

Your incredulous snort makes Seonghwa pause. He whips his head in your direction, pretty frown pulling down the corners of his mouth. You keep laughing, keeling over until your loose nightshirt starts to hang off one of your shoulders. The way you’re falling over like he said something hilarious is starting to irritate him. Like really fucking bad.

When you finally stop laughing, you notice the deep scowl your friend is directing at you. Even as he's directing a scornful glare at you, he looks unfairly pretty. The thought makes you huff out one last weak laugh. “What? Don’t give me that look.”

His jaw flexes, tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “You believed fucking Mingi when he said the same thing.”

Your nonchalant shrug makes Seonghwa’s eye twitch in annoyance. He’s not offended, not exactly. It’s just the slightest bit irritating that he’s literally in your room, on your bed, alone, and you still can’t think of him in a way he desperately wants you to.

“Because it’s obvious that Mingi knows what he’s doing. Like, you can tell he’s a beast in bed.”

“And what makes you think I’m not?”

It’s weird that he’s so insistent on getting you to believe him. Seonghwa usually doesn’t care about what anyone thinks since he claims to know himself the best, so other people’s opinions don’t really matter. Apparently, he isn’t too different from all the other guys you’ve met. It’s kind of cute.

“I just— Who cares?” You splutter, suddenly feeling flustered with how he’s staring at you so intently.

“Tell me why.”

You nearly recoil in shock at how assertive and dominant Seonghwa sounds. His tone and hard eyes makes something inside you flutter with desire. Taken aback by your own indecent reaction, you clear your throat and avert your eyes back to the paused sex scene out of a movie you can't remember the name of.

If you could go back in time and pick a different movie that hadn’t started this entire thing, you would.

“Fine.” You sigh, willing yourself to calm down. “I just think that most pretty boys aren’t able to fuck anyone stupid. That’s all—it’s nothing personal.”

Oh, but it is.

To Seonghwa, who had pictured you writhing and screaming from pleasure under him way too many times to be considered normal, it’s definitely personal.

“I could fuck you stupid.”

His words hang in the air heavily. You expect him to give you that pretty, nonchalant smile of his and tell you that he’s joking. But he doesn’t. In fact, Seonghwa is looking at you with an unmistakable heat and determination in his gaze that has you feeling like prey.

“Whatever.” You force yourself to choke out a laugh, mind already wandering to what it would be like to fuck such a pretty man.

Seonghwa seems unfazed by your dismissal. He stands up from your bed before kneeling at the edge in front of where you’re sitting. You let out a shocked yelp when he grabs your bare legs and yanks you toward him. His eyes are dark as he gazes up at you like he’s going to devour you.

The heat coming from his hands and just having him nestled between your legs makes your cunt throb. It’s embarrassing how fast you’re getting turned on, but you blame it on the fact that it has everything to do that Seonghwa is just so damn pretty.

“H-Hwa.” You actually fucking whimper, sounding completely needy.

“Gonna let me prove it?” He smirks, hands gently caressing your thighs that are unconsciously spreading for him.

“Fine.” You try to sound like you aren’t already soaking, horny mess. “You have to hurry, though. Sannie’s gonna be back soon.”

Seonghwa nearly growls at the mention of your clingy roommate. He trails his hands up the soft skin of your thighs and grips the edges on your panties. You let out a scandalized gasp when he literally rips them off of you. He throws them over his shoulder before flipping up your oversized shirt and exposing your hot cunt to the air.

His groan makes you clench around nothing. Before you can say anything, Seonghwa yanks you forward and smashes his face into your wet pussy. Any and all coherent thoughts are quickly ejected from your mind. You let out a small moan when you feel your friend’s tongue split through your folds, tasting you for the first time.

“Fuck.” Seonghwa moans into your cunt. “I knew you would taste good.”

His words make your brain turn into literal mush because what the fuck? Had he been thinking about what it would be like to eat you out? The mere thought has more juices spilling out of you. Your body’s reaction only spurs Seonghwa on, his hands gripping your thighs tighter and pulling you further on his mouth.

You toss your head back with a moan. All you can feel is his tongue plunging deep inside you. Every time his nose bumps against your throbbing clit, it sends jolt of pleasure up your spine.

“S-Shit, Hwa.” You whimper, hands falling to his messy hair.

Seonghwa smirks into your pussy when you start to tug on his hair. He hums against your leaking hole before latching onto your swollen nub and suckling on it with a lewd slurping sound. Your cries of pleasure sound like music to his ears, and it makes him more determined to have you begging and crying for his cock. Seonghwa is sure your moans would sound even prettier when he’s actually splitting you open with his dick.

“So good.” You mewl as he keeps sucking on your aching bud. “K-Keep doing that.”

Seonghwa starts to plant sloppy kisses on your glistening folds before dragging his tongue up your slit. He repeats the action a few times before he sucks your puffy clit back into his mouth. The sight of your face twisting in pleasure is a sight he’ll never forget. To see the object of his fantasies writhing and shaking from pleasure has his cock straining in his pants, eager to be stuffed into your cunt.

You start to grind your pussy into his face as he keeps licking and fucking you with his tongue. His ravenous movements are like that of a starved man, and soon you feel your abdomen tighten with the need to release.

“I-I think I’m gonna come.” You moan, surprised that he managed to get you so close to an orgasm in such a short amount of time.

Seonghwa groans into your sopping cunt. “Do it, baby. Come all over my tongue. Let me taste you.”

You gasp out his name as a wave of pleasure suddenly washes over you. The tight coil in your stomach snaps as your walls become impossibly tight. Your moan is loud and wanton as you squirt all over your friend’s face.

Seonghwa’s moan sounds animalistic as he presses his tongue flat against your entrance, collecting all your sweet juices and slurping you dry. He’s practically making out with your pussy until there’s none of your addicting cream left to lap up.

“Mhm, baby. You taste so fucking good.”

You’re a trembling mess as he plants gentle kisses on your inner thighs before standing up, your juices covering his chin. The sight of you all fucked out because of him, makes the desire in his gut get more intense.

“Sorry.” You huff out, mind a bit more clear when you see him licking his lips. “I-I’ve– that usually doesn’t happen.”

To be exact, it’s never happened.

“I’ll forgive you.” He sounds sweet as he starts to unbuckle his belt. Seonghwa pulls his shirt off before pulling his pants down until he’s left in only his underwear, impressive bulge standing out. “But only if you do it again—on my cock this time.”

You can’t be mad that he looks so smug because he’s just so fucking pretty. He becomes even more attractive after sliding his underwear off and letting his big cock slap against his lower abdomen. The large organ is intimidatingly long and thick as it throbs and leaks with precum. Your mouth waters, and you can’t be surprised that his cock is a pretty as he is.

Unfortunately, you don’t get to admire it for too long because Seonghwa grabs you and flips you around. You’re propped up on your elbows and knees to support your weight, large shirt bunching at your waist as he arches your back to the angle he wants.

Seonghwa licks his lips as he squeezes and caresses your ass, leaking cock throbbing at the pretty sight of you all ready to get fucked. This is way better than any of his fantasies, and he hopes that this is only the first time of many.

“Such a pretty ass. Maybe you’ll let me fuck it next time.” His sultry voice has you dripping in desperation. “But for now, let’s see how much you can handle, baby.”

A needy, pathetic mewl tumbles out of you as Seonghwa presses his oozing tip against your entrance. He rubs and taps it against your folds, enjoying how you’re desperately rutting your hips back. Just minutes ago you were adamant that he wasn’t capable of getting this sort of reaction.

Your mouth drops open in pleasure when he slowly eases his cock into you. “O-Oh, fuck.” Your moan is weak as your eyes slowly close.

Seonghwa looks down to where his fat cock is pushing into your tightness, stretching you wider than ever before and claiming your pretty cunt as his. The sight is mesmerising, and he can’t stop the deep moan he lets out from it. His cock throbs wildly as he finally bottoms out. You’re so hot and tight that he might actually blow his load before he even gets the chance to fuck you properly.

His cock is hitting your deepest spot, and you let out a wanton moan as you tightly grip your sheets. “Fuck me!”

A carnal desire takes over Seonghwa when he hears your needy cry. He’s never been able to deny you anything, and he doesn’t plan to start now. Immediately, he begins to pummel in and out of you, fucking your sopping cunt roughly. Obscene noises fill the room as his pelvis slams against your ass.

Seonghwa can’t take his eyes off your pretty little pussy and how it swallows his cock so perfectly. His heavy balls are being stained with your arousal as they slap against your puffy clit. He becomes more ravenous with every rough thrust.

“You’re already soaking my cock, baby. I fucking knew you wouldn’t be able to get enough.” He grunts as he grabs your hips, quickly growing obsessed with how you feel around him.

It's true, and you can't deny it. Not that you want to. His cock is stretching you out so good that you can’t think straight.

“So fucking good.” You mewl as you deepen your arch so he can fuck you deeper.

One of Seonghwa’s hands trails down your body to squeeze your ass while the other goes around your waist to rub your sensitive clit. He pounds into you harder, loving the cries and whimpers you’re letting out every time he fucks his cock into your juicy cunt. You’re throwing yourself back on him to meet his thrusts, loving how his big cock splits you open with every snap of his hips.

“Gonna ruin this sweet little pussy so only I fit.” Seonghwa growls, spanking your ass harshly.

His words make you clench on his cock and coat it with more of your cream. You whine and cry out for him, already feeling any thoughts that aren’t about his big dick being fucked out of you. His hips start to snap with a rough precision you claimed he wasn’t capable of, and you wonder how longer it’ll take him to realize that he already proved you wrong.

Seonghwa feels your cunt start to tighten around his cock like it doesn’t want to let go. With the way you’re starting to tremble, he can tell you’re close to falling apart. But he wants to see your face when you do. It’s the thing he’s wanted the most since he met you.

You cry out in protest when Seonghwa abruptly pulls out his hard cock of your pussy. Before you can beg him to put it back in, he’s flipping you on your back. He gently caresses your shaking thighs with a heated gaze. Then, he’s removing the big shirt you have on, dark eyes taking in every inch of your exposed body.

“Hwa.” You plead through a needy mewl. “Don’t tease.”

The look on your face makes his cock throb painfully. You look absolutely fucked out, and to think he hasn’t even made you come yet. Seonghwa licks his lips and teases your soaking entrance with his leaking tip. His smirk is deviant, but so hot that all you can do is buck your hips desperately. Unlike your initial thoughts, your friend doesn’t make you wait.

It’s satisfying how Seonghwa’s jaw snaps open as he watches your pretty pussy slowly get filled with his thick cock. The erotic sight drives him to start fucking into you again. He lets out a deep groan when he sees your cream coat his entire length as you squeeze him tighter than anyone ever has.

Pleasure consumes you and licks up your entire body as Seonghwa pounds his cock into your hot cunt. Your moans turn into loud cries that mix into the lewd squelching coming from where you two are connected when he presses your legs to your chest. The new position allows him to fuck into you deeper than before.

All coherent thoughts are slowly dissipating every time his cock pounds against your sweet spot. A carnal desire takes over and has you begging for more through broken whimpers. “Fuh-Fuck. Fill me up, Hwa.”

The moan Seonghwa lets out is as pretty as he is. Your wanton pleas trigger something primal inside of him, and he feels himself going feral at the thought of breeding you.

“You want my cum, baby?” He coos sweetly, heavy balls slapping against your ass in sync with your wanton moans.

It’s embarrassing how fast you nod, back arching as you feel a wave of pleasure start to consume you. His cock is throbbing inside you, and all you can think about is milking him for all that he’s worth. “Want it so bad!”

“Fuck.” Seonghwa sucks in a sharp breath. “Pretty little pussy’s so tight for me.”

Your filthy moans are quickly stifled when Seonghwa bends down to kiss you. His movements are passionate and desperate, teeth tugging at your bottom lips. It feels like your brain has turned into static with all the euphoric sensations consuming you. All you can focus on is his cock splitting you open and the sounds of your skin slapping against his.

When Seonghwa pulls back, he maintains eye contact. As you stare into his eyes, you can see that they’re filled with an emotion that goes beyond lust and arousal. It makes your heart pound for an entirely different reason. His gentle stare is a great contrast to the rough snap of his hips.

That affectionate look is all it takes for you to squirt all over your friend once again. Your cry is loud as you cover his abdomen with your orgasm.

“Fuck, that’s it, baby. Make a mess all over me.” Seonghwa moans as he watches you go dumb on his cock.

The sight of your pretty face slack with pleasure has him fucking into your cervix savagely. Your cunt is gripping his cock so tightly that it doesn’t take long for him to release his thick load inside you. His thrusts grow sloppy as he starts to fill you with ropes of cum. Your soppy cunt is overflowing with so much of his seed that it bubbles around the base of his cock and leaks down to your ass—a filthy sight Seonghwa will never forget.

You’re both panting as he slowly lets go of your legs. Seonghwa watches you carefully, but doesn’t make a move to pull out of you. He wants to keep you plugged and full of his cum, and by how you slowly wrap your legs around his waist, it seems like you feel the same way.

When you come back to your senses, you nervously lick your lips when you see Seonghwa’s smirk. “What?”

“You’re a squirter?” His words sound teasing.

“N-No.” You pant out, unsure of how to tell him he’s the only one capable of evoking such a reaction from your body.

Apparently, your friend only sees this as another one of your challenges. He caresses your soft thighs as a challenging look crosses his face.

“Do it again.”

Seonghwa starts to move again, his aching cock sliding against your walls with ease as he fucks his cum deeper inside you. He unhooks your legs from his waist so he can place them on his shoulders. From this angle he can see your filthy cunt being split open on his thick cock.

“I can’t.” You manage to moan out, loving how his dick drags against your velvety walls with precision. “God, Hwa. I-It’s too much.”

“You say that, but your pretty little pussy keeps squeezing my cock like it doesn’t want to let go.” He says as his thumb starts to rub slow circles on your throbbing clit. “I’m sure you can squirt for me again if I give you another load, hm?”

Seonghwa’s smirk is cocky when he feels your cunt tighten around him again. He loves how you don’t deny it. In fact, you whine out a quiet more as he continues to fuck you. His thumb is still stimulating your puffy bud as his hips snap into you. Clearly, your friend is enjoying fucking you to the point of delirium. You can’t complain because you’re enjoying it just as much.

“Tight little cunt was made to take my cock.” He grunts as his eyes start to roll to the back of his head.

You can’t fathom how it feels like he knows your body more than you do. His cock keeps ramming against your g-spot, and all you can do is let out moans and mewls of pleasure. You’re sure it won’t be long until you come again.

A ring of white cream surrounds the base of his cock and slowly drips down his balls and on to the sheets. Seonghwa knows you won’t ever be able to forget how good he’s fucked you, and he also knows that he’s potentially ruined you for any other man. Not that he would let you go after feeling your pussy.

“God, baby. Your sweet pussy’s already gonna make me come again.” Seonghwa groans, thrusts becoming tougher and sharper. “Gonna let me come inside again?”

“Yes!” You squeal, already gone dumb again. “Come inside me!”

The overstimulation has lewd and filthy sounds coming out of you, but you can’t help it. Especially not when you look down and see how his big cock is piercing into your tight cunt. You gasp and jolt as he continues to ram into you like you’re nothing more than a hole. Your legs start to tremble as your third orgasm abruptly hits you.

Like the two previous times, your toes curl as you uncontrollably squirt on his cock.

“Such a good girl.” Seonghwa praises you with his pretty smile. “Here’s your reward.”

He slams into you a few more time before he spills his thick seed inside you, filling you to the brim. Your eyes roll back as your pussy contracts around Seonghwa’s pulsing cock. The feeling of his hot cum filling your insides is so fucking good that all you can do is mewl his name weakly and pathetically. It feels like your mind is clouded with a euphoric haze preventing you from thinking straight.

Soon, Seonghwa pulls out of your creamy cunt, his cum dripping out of you and staining the sheets beneath you. His eyes darken at the sight of your sensitive folds covered with his seed. A low growl builds in his chest as he swoops down to smash his lips on to yours. You moan into his mouth as he parts your lips with his tongue to deepen the kiss.

When he pulls away from you, he gives you another lascivious smirk. “We’re not done yet, baby.”

It shouldn’t excite you this much that he’s not done. You’re literally dripping with his cum, but you still want more. His hard, throbbing cock is resting against your sloppy pussy, and you start to gyrate your hips to get him to fuck you again. Maybe you’re already addicted, but it doesn’t matter because Seonghwa seems to feel the exact same way.

A quiet moan rips from your throat when he starts to fuck his cock between your messy lips. You cry out from the sensation, still sensitive from the other orgasms he’s ripped out of you. Slowly and teasingly, Seonghwa drags the tip of his fat cock down to your entrance, moaning when more of his cum seeps out of you. The sight is something he’ll never forget and always try to recreate.

The noises you let out are so cute and needy that they make his cock throb painfully. Seonghwa slowly eases into you for a third time, base of his heavy cock touching your core and big balls resting against your ass. Your pussy is pulsing around him as you leak with your mixed releases.

You can feel Seonghwa’s cock so deep inside you that it’s dizzying and almost comparible to being drunk. Vaguely, you think this is what it must be like to be cockdrunk.

“So fucking pretty. All for me.” Seonghwa groans hotly.

The breath is almost knocked out of you as he drags his dick back before ramming it back into the depths of your wet pussy. He begins to pound into you, the sound of skin on skin quickly filling the room.

Seonghwa stares down at your pretty face while he fucks you into oblivion, making sure to memorize every aspect. From the way your eyes roll into your skull when he spears his big cock into you to how your jaw falls slack so quickly. It’s all for him, and he knows he wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.

“S-Seonghwa!” You squeal, toes curling and limbs starting to tremble.

The familiar sensation gets worse as your friend continues to fuck into your guts, stroking your walls with his thick cock. He’s slamming into your sweet spot with a savage like pace that you know it won’t be long before you fall apart again.

“That’s it, baby. Cream all over my cock.” Seonghwa groans as you mewl at his filthy words.

As if his voice and words are a trigger, your body starts to react. His harsh thrusts make you start to convulse, effectively soaking his cock. As if it’s all you’re capable of giving him, you weakly come on his aching dick with a choked moan. Your tits are bouncing with every thrust, body twitching as Seonghwa roughly fucks you through your orgasm.

“Want your cum.” You mewl, and Seonghwa simply begins to fuck you quicker.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m gonna pump you full until you’re leaking with my cum for days.” Seonghwa promises through possessive growls as he sloppily fucks into your soiled cunt.

Seonghwa suddenly stills deep inside your pussy, spilling his hot seed inside of you. Thick, white ropes of cum paint your walls until it leaves his cock dripping. He nearly slumps on top of you, but then he rolls over and onto his back, taking you with him. His cock stays inside you, keeping you plugged with his many loads.

“How are you feeling?” The soft voice you recognize is back as Seonghwa gently caresses your naked back.

You sigh into his neck, feeling completely sated. “Full.”

His pretty laugh makes you smile, and you can’t help but think that Mingi was right when he told you that thing about pretty boys.

#seonghwa smut #ateez smut #seonghwa x reader #ateez x reader #park seonghwa smut #ateez fic #seonghwa x you #park seonghwa x you #seonghwa fic #ateez fanfic #seonghwa imagine #park seonghwa fic #seonghwa fanfic #park seonghwa x reader #ateez imagine #park seonghwa fanfic

[februaryflowers]

the world, the stars, and all that is beautiful

everything changes from one blind date with a mutual friend. alternatively, a collection of moments full of love and thrill with seonghwa, all wrapped up in a pretty bow for the best day of your life

check out the playlist to the world, the stars, and all that is beautiful here!

warnings: language, hospitals + illness mentions (seonghwa is a pediatrician), one brief verbal fight mentioned

fluff, 12.5k words, seonghwa x reader

The knock on the door has your roommate more excited than you, which becomes especially funny and concerning when you remember that this is your date, not his. He scrambles off the couch to answer the visitor—who still remains a mystery to you since Hongjoong wanted to keep it a surprise—and creates a raucous in the living room that causes you to chuckle.

“Seonghwa!” he exclaims, pulling the door back with such force that it hits the wall by accident when he lets go.

His friend gives him an amused shake of his head at his enthusiasm before stepping inside and waiting in the entry.

“They’ll just be a moment,” Hongjoong says, peering behind him to check that your door is still closed.

“Sorry!” you call back, the apartment’s walls being thin enough for you to be able to hear bits of their conversation every now and then (although they are being quite loud regardless).

Your date gives a nod to your roommate, smoothing out a crease in his shirt and rubbing his slightly moist hands on his jeans. 

“You look fine, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong sighs, rolling his eyes playfully.

Before the elder can respond, you try to sneak over and peer around the corner, wanting to get a look at who exactly you’re meeting, but Hongjoong has none of it. He comes and grabs your arm, dragging you out before you can finish snooping. Pushing you into your date, your roommate has a silly grin.

“Let me take a photo of you two.”

Hongjoong nudges Seonghwa’s arm, urging him to place it on your back, which he slowly does before you both look at the camera and plaster on default smiles. It’s awkward, for sure, but you can still see the brightness in his eyes, a wish to the stars to hope that this will work out.

He makes a mental note to print it out for you before pocketing his phone and turning to his two best friends. A satisfied sigh leaves his lips while they curve into a smile.

“Be good, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong says before squinting and teasing, “If you do anything to my dear y/nnie I will haunt your dreams,” but you know there’s some truth to the statement.

While the two of you laugh, you hear the tension in the back of his throat. But you trust Hongjoong, and so you trust Seonghwa enough. Even if it doesn’t work out romantically, at least you’ll get to know a mutual friend a little more. Your roommate slash best friend would never set you up with a creep, let alone be best friends with one. It’s a little strange how you haven’t gotten many opportunities to meet your best friend’s other closest friend, but sometimes that’s how the cards fall. At least you have this opportunity.

“Okay, now you can have fun,” he says, ushering the two of you out the door and shutting it with a firm click.

Now alone with Seonghwa, you bite your lip, glancing to his face. “So…did you have any plans?”

He blinks before the memory comes back to him. “Oh, yeah! If it’s not weird…I had something planned at my apartment. I’ve been meaning to try this cake sampler that I got from the bakery and—wait this does sound weird. I’m so—”

His ramblings cause a few chuckles to rise from your throat. “Don’t worry about it. I trust Joong, and I trust you enough. Besides, I quite like sweets,” you say, nudging him with your elbow. 

His features begin to relax and a small grin takes over instead. “Do you wanna walk? It’s not too far.”

With a firm nod, the two of you start down the street, the crisp fall air meeting your faces. 

“How long have you known Joong?” you ask, keeping your eyes trained on the buildings in front of you. “He’s always mentioned stories with you but I don’t really know much about you,” you admit, forcing your lips into a small curl.

But at your words, a fond smile finds its way to his features. “We’ve been friends since middle school,” he sighs, his eyes in the sky as he reminisces on those old, simple times. “Then we went to the same college and stayed together after that.”

“So you must have a lot of blackmail on him, huh?” you tease, which causes him to laugh.

“You could say that,” he chuckles with a faint grin. “But I’m sure you have more if you live with him.” 

As you round the corner, you fall into a mellow silence, nothing but the chatter of other pedestrians and the rustling of leaves in the wind meeting your ears. Yet, you aren’t rushing to fill it with more words and laughter. It’s nice, something so natural and comfortable. Whether it’s the very small history you share or just the two of you, you aren’t sure, but it’s almost a sweet melody to fall into.   

Turning to look at his face, you admire his profile. His skin is soft, as are his eyes, and within them, you find a sea of brightness, of stars speckling the deep ocean at night. It’s not even the lighting giving him the little flecks in his gaze. He’s just…stunning like that. Or maybe…it’s because he’s with—no, no way…right? Or maybe—

“This is me,” he suddenly says, bursting your bubbled reverie with a point in the direction of a brick building. 

You stand to the side as he unlocks the door before taking you to the end of the tiled hallway and letting you into his own apartment. The scent of something fruity lingers in the air as you take off your shoes and place them at the end of his neat row. Taking your time, you let your eyes wander to and fro around his space. Lived in, it’s well lived in, homey and sweet. 

He’s already made his way to the living area, sliding open a glass door to a small porch and backyard with a box in his hands. Still holding the handle, he turns and tilts his head.

“You coming?” he asks.

Suddenly your manners come back to you instead of leaving you ogling at how clean his place is. It’s not like there’s no character or decoration, but rather everything is purposefully placed in its location. A blanket rests on the armrest of the sofa. Above it, you spot the hexagonal shelves filled with little pictures and memorabilia. A plant or two sits on the windowsill, long arms of leaves reaching well below the overhang, and a few books are stacked on the coffee table. 

“Oh! Yeah!” you exclaim, taking wide steps toward him.

A small metal table sits on the platform, overlooking a little lawn enclosed by tall wooden fences. Meanwhile he places the box on the table before stepping on the crunchy grass and surveying the small yard with his hands behind his back. 

Autumn has well made itself known, warm to burnt shades of red, yellow and orange decorating the ground. The trees are mostly bare, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful with the bright blue sky and soft puffballs that blow past above. And judging by how Seonghwa seems enamored with the peaceful scene, you imagine he quite likes it too. 

“Do you spend a lot of time out here?” you call out.

Turning around to face you, he nods. “It’s nice to come out and destress.” But when he opens his mouth to speak once more, he lowers his head and bites his lip. “If I had time I would make it more lively but—”

He chooses to finish his thoughts with a shrug and a sad smile before he comes back and pulls out a chair at the table. “I love what I do, of course, but there are still things that are just wishes.”

“Oh, what do you do?” you ask, sitting down and pulling your coat tighter over your body.

He tilts his head as he takes the chair opposite to you. “Hongjoong didn’t tell you?”

“No, just that you’re usually busy,” you chuckle.

His lips quirk to the side as he opens the smooth, white box and hands you a fork. “That’s one way to say it, I guess,” he laughs. “I’m a pediatrician at KQ Hospital.”

There’s an amused grin when, after a few moments, he glances back up from splitting the miniature cakes to your face to see your slack jaw as you stare at this man.

You love Hongjoong, you really, really, do. But you can’t believe that this beautiful, nice doctor man is best friends with him. 

“It’s rude to stare, y’know,” he quips.

Oh, that makes more sense.

You promptly shut your mouth and take one of the halves he cut, shoving a bite of who knows what in.

As soon as the flavors melt on your tongue not more than a moment later, you immediately forget about your date’s shitheadedness. A mixture of sweet and tart dances in your mouth, a kick of lemon zest and raspberry hitting the roof, while vanilla sponge and frosting meet the bottom and melt down, creating a pool of rich flavor.

Swallowing, you let your lips fall open with a sigh as you pick another forkful and sit back. Yes, it’s delicious, but it’s just so good that you want to savor the bit you have left first.

As you let your thoughts wander, your eyes fall on Seonghwa, and you promptly shut your mouth once more, realizing you must be drooling over how good this dessert is. Sitting up straight again, you clear your throat and put the utensil in your mouth.

“I take it that piece is good,” he laughs after he finishes swallowing his own bite of another half. “Judging by how dazed you look.”

“So good,” you mumble, unable to put words to the taste. 

He nods. “I’ll try it after I finish this one,” he hums, pointing his fork down at the small, pink circle that’s been bitten into. 

You gaze at the layers of vanilla cake sandwiching strawberries surrounded as you glance down at what he’s decided to eat first. But then your mind wanders back to his words.

“Do I really look that in love with a fucking piece of cake?” you groan, hiding your face in your hands.

You don’t dare to peek at him, but chuckles meet your ears. “It’s cute,” he replies, dropping his laughter a second later. “I mean, I know I probably look like that too with this piece.” He pauses before continuing and mumbling, “But you definitely look cuter than me doing it.”

Once more, your mouth falls open, but this time it’s because…what the hell do you say in response to that? After a few minutes of quiet chewing, you finish the lemon cake and take the other half of the piece Seonghwa had been eating first, the strawberry shortcake. 

Digging your fork into the soft layers, you look up at the clearing of a throat.

“I..I’m sorry if that was too much,” he murmurs. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Oh!” you exclaim, dropping your utensil and shaking your hands in the air. “No, no no. It was very sweet.” Lowering your gaze from your outburst, you bite your lip. “I’ve…actually—oh this is embarrassing.” 

He smiles a little at that, trying to conceal the way his heart hammers in his chest. What are you going to say next? He hasn’t the faintest clue, but he’d like to think that—

“I’ve actually kind of…liked you for…a while,” you say, finishing with a cough because lord knows you cannot handle telling him straight out.

“Oh really?” he asks, his tone lifting with each syllable. 

Nodding, you hide your eyes. “Since Yunho’s birthday party.”

He hums, urging you to continue, which makes you sigh.

“Do I have to?” you whine, but you resume your thoughts nonetheless. “You were just so…put together, I guess. And even then, you were still the sweet and silly guy everyone talked about.” You let out a sheepish chuckle. “I guess ever since then you’ve caught my eye, even if we didn’t speak much.”

Shoveling the forgotten piece of cake into your mouth, you slouch down. Your eyes are trained on the slice in front of you, refusing to meet his own. This is horribly embarrassing. Never have you so blatantly admitted such a feeling. In the silence, the blood rushing past your ears is all you can hear. Did you just ruin the date? Maybe it was too early for confessions and—

“You know,” Seonghwa begins, sitting up straighter, “I think I’ve had my eye on you for longer than that.”

“Huh?” you blurt out, your head shooting up.

“Yeah,” he laughs. “Hongjoong always spoke so highly of you. I wanted to see if what he said was true.” He lowers his eyes to his own dessert before biting his lip with a small smile. “I’d say it’s pretty true so far. And the way everyone would light up when they saw you?”

“So that’s why that idiot has been pestering me for ages!” you gasp, causing Seonghwa to chuckle and his cheeks to burn a little brighter.

But his words come back to you and your blood takes a turn for your face. He really…has liked you for that long? With a breath, you finally dare to look into his orbs. God, nothing would prepare you for the sight.

There’s a gentle warmth surrounding him, his gaze, and it’s fixed on you. On you? When the realization dawns on him that you’ve made eye contact, he tilts his head, an invisible force pushing his lips into a soft curve. 

“Hi there,” he quips. 

It’s hard to believe he can be so calm, even flirty and confident, when you remember the things Hongjoong had insinuated about your date when he was still a mystery. Tilting your head, you try to imagine it. 

Your favorite little story your roommate had told you was when his secret friend had plopped down on his couch, his head back and his fingers gently stroking his cheek as he recalled the little get together you’d just been at together. 

Apparently you’d thumbed his cheek, gently helping to clean off the last of the pie that’d been thrown and unfortunately, or fortunately now that you think about it, landed on his face. Alone in the kitchen together, he couldn’t help but feel special, even if this kind of incident was a little too common in the group and you’d done this for just about every one of the unhinged guys. Maybe you lingered a little longer, held him a little softer and a little more carefully. He’d like to think that. 

Could that really have been Seonghwa? The same one in front of you? The endearingly cocky and silly doctor in front of you is the same lovestruck guy who thought about you so often and whose heart raced around you?  

“Y/n?” he asks, his pitch increasing a little as your reverie continues.

Coming back to your senses, you bite your lip. Meeting his eyes slowly, you finally put the pieces together. His gaze is warm, deep and sweet like brown sugar or honey, as he stares back at you. A soft smile finds its way to his plush lips when the realization that you’re now looking at him dawns on him once more. 

When you give a shy wave, he grins a little more. 

“How’s the cake?”

“So good,” you sigh, letting your head fall back. “You’ll have to tell me where you got them.”

Reaching across the table, he squeezes your hand, but teases you anyway. “Secret. I need to convince you to go on a second date with me somehow, right?”

His flirtatiousness causes you to hide your face once more, not wanting him to see how you’re closing your eyes and biting down furiously on your lip to not grin. Placing your head in your hands, you try your best to tell yourself that you’re fine. Everything is fine. 

“Even if you decide that you’d rather stay friends, I’m glad we could get to know each other more,” he murmurs, glancing down at his plate. “I didn’t mean to make you—”

“That’s not what I meant!” you exclaim, shooting your head up from your palms. Realizing how loud you’ve become, you bring your fingers to your forehead, which causes Seonghwa’s lips to quirk. “I-I’d love that, actually.”

Letting his swirl of relief take over, he smiles widely, a small breath falling from them. “It’s a date.”

As another yawn overtakes your speech, Seonghwa chuckles, squeezing your hand. “How about we sit down somewhere?” he suggests.

Letting him lead you to a bench, the two of you fall into a sweet silence, just listening to the rustle of wind, the chitter chatter of conversations from passersby. He’s left a respectable distance between you, yet his hand still remains in yours as his warmth makes its way to you through the winter air.

“Long week?” he asks.

With long, busy days at work for the both of you, you and Seonghwa haven’t gone out in a while. Even though you do love the stay-at-home, lowkey dates you’ve been having, it’s also nice to get out every now and then. But you suppose that the high-demand life you’ve been living for a bit is catching up to you.

You hum in response, scooching closer to him as you admire the lights hung up around town. “But I wanna stay out with you for a little longer.”

“Are you sure? I can take you home if you-–”

A kiss to the cheek quiets his concerns, the warmth rushing to his face also floating towards you. Then quiet returns once more and you return to watching the world go by around you. And yet, despite the people rushing to and fro, maybe a reminder that everything goes on and everyone is their own main character, when you look to your side, to the laced fingers against the wooden bench, it all feels irrelevant. This, this right here, this is the world.

Almost as if he can sense the thoughts in your head, he turns to face you cupping your cheek and tilting your chin towards him. 

With the twinkle in his eyes, perhaps from a mischief or maybe the light’s reflection or their natural shine, or maybe even all three, he meets your gaze. Pink dusts his cheeks but they burn, leaving you wondering if it’s from the chill or his flusteredness. 

But before you can ask, he softly brings his lips to yours in a simple peck. He pulls away all too quickly, leaving yours to chase his for another moment of the sweetness of his mouth on yours. And there’s that sparkle again, brighter than any star in the sky or the full moon or the snowflake lights all around you to celebrate the season. There’s that bashful smile twirling with his quirked mouth blending giddiness and flirtatiousness that’s just so absolutely Seonghwa.

However you just know he’s being a tease, and you can’t take that anymore, not right now. So you take the lapel of his jacket in your hands and pull him closer to you, meeting his lips with yours. That surely wipes the smirk off his face. 

“Y’know,” you mumble as you pull away, “I was never really fond of winter?”

“Oh?” he asks, following behind you as you stand. 

You hum. “It’s just so cold.”

When you don’t hear from him for a moment, you turn to see if he’s still following you, but he sneaks up behind you anyway, stealing your hand and tucking it into his pocket.

“True. But the memories are warm, no? The memories, the people, the experiences, just like this.”

“I suppose…yes.”

His lips quirk up. “So maybe I’ll just have to keep you warm every winter then, hm?” 

Curse Seonghwa for always knowing and having the kinds of words that make your heart flutter and race in an instant. You lower your head to eye the ground, the flusteredness you experience around him something that still makes you shy.

And maybe that’s a good thing. Because you don’t think you would be able to stand watching him take pretty pictures of you, of your intertwined hands on this windy night, all with the most fond, lovestruck smile on his face, with the warmest, softest eyes in the world. As he captures the sparkling lights reflecting around you, the gentlest sprinkle of snow falling on your shoulders, the soft grin you sport, his hand that still hasn’t let go of yours, the moon above, he can’t help but think that he’s just…happy. He’s so warm, it might as well be summer. 

The thing Seonghwa likes most about your room is how it’s just so…you. Your personality and energy come out tenfold with the little trinkets and the colors and the decorations. It’s so cozy, so sweet, so comforting.

And here he is, laying in your bed and waiting for you to come out of the shower. It doesn’t feel quite real. 

Being together for a few months, the butterflies of an aging crush but a new love are floating around in his stomach. He scrolls on his phone, trying to pass the minutes, but they still feel slow. He can’t stop his foot from twitching, the energy having nowhere else to go.

But the moment the door clicks and you reveal yourself, he tosses the device aside, his head shooting up to see your face. 

He somehow looks even cuter like this, no fancy clothes. It’s just him, his fluffy hair, his bare face, his softest pajamas. A fond smile starts to overtake your features as you try to commit this moment to memory.

“Sorry if I took a while,” you hum, walking through your room to get on the other side of the bed. 

“N-no, it was fine,” he murmurs in return.

You lift the blanket and crawl in, but its warmth is nothing compared to the body of the man next to you. Resting your head on his chest, you wrap your arms around his middle and settle in. Something tells you that this might be the best night of sleep you’ll get. 

He presses a kiss to the top of your head before tangling his legs with yours and pulling you closer, snuggling further into your sheets and causing you to giggle. 

“Wow, getting so bold on your first night staying over here, huh?”

His pulse picks up under your ear, filling your head with the quickened pace of his heart. It’s already nice enough to hear it, but to hear how it beats for you, how he reacts to your simple words and touches? Maybe you both haven’t verbalized it yet, but he loves you. He loves you so much. 

He grumbles something before you place a hand on his chest, pushing yourself up to kiss his jaw to sedate him. However, after you place your lips on his skin, you cup his cheeks, turning his face to clearly look at yours, and blossoms of pink and rose bloom all over. If the heat wasn’t embarrassing enough, the knowing glint in your eye does it, causing a sheepish smile to force its way past his efforts and his gaze to glance down at your embroidered blanket. 

“Hey,” you murmur. “Nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

Flicking his chest with your fingers, you force him to look at you. But rather than meet your eyes, he settles his gaze on your lips. Good enough.  

“I love you.”

Childish giggles fill the air, bubbling the room with a simple, unadulterated joy and excitement. It’s that of a baby seeing their doting parents, a dog when you return from work, a man simply in love with you.

You’re about to scoff at him when he brings his lips close to yours, his breath brushing your skin as he nuzzles his nose with yours to repeat the words to you. “I love you.”

And now it’s your turn to squeal, immediately burying your face in the nearest pillow, which causes your boyfriend to laugh. 

“Really?” he teases.

“You’re just so–”

He huffs. “Why don’t you cuddle me properly instead?”

 Well, how can you resist?

So you pull your head off the cushion, resting it on his shoulder and settling your hands around his warm shirt. 

The heat of your skin, especially on your cheeks, seeps through his pajamas, leaving you both flustered, it seems. In silence, he rubs long, slow strokes down your back until he feels the gentle rhythm of your chest rising and falling become a leisured wave. 

Then he presses his lips to the top of your head, reaching for his phone. You’d both forgotten to close the blinds before climbing into bed, leaving moonlight to shine through the window and on your skin, illuminating the side of your face that’s squished against his body. 

So he swipes to the camera, snapping a quick picture that shows the content quirk of your lips and the bottom half of his face. Even while you’re unconscious, Seonghwa makes you happy.

He makes a mental note to print the picture out later before he slips the device back on the nightstand and returns his hands to hold you. Knowing you’re happy, that makes him happy. Despite the storm in his stomach, there’s always an ease to being with you, and sleep comes easily to him today. 

It’s too early to say if you’re the one, for sure, but Seonghwa can’t say he won’t be surprised if you are. 

Your giggles are music to his ears as you both walk back under the starry sky to your apartment. It’s been a while since you all hung out with your group of friends and you’d forgotten how funny and weird (affectionately) they could be.

“I hope your birthday was still good, even if Wooyoung made the whole restaurant sing happy birthday and called you old.”

Seonghwa chuckles. “It was wonderful.” He then leans in close, his breath fanning your ear, mumbling, “I dare say it was the best,” before he kisses your cheek and resumes walking.

Despite mastering composure at his sudden bouts of flirtiness, you still feel the hammering of your heart at what he insinuates; it’s because of you. 

“I hope…you’re always happy,” you whisper.

He smiles, squeezing your hand. He figures if he’s with you, he’ll always be happy in life. 

However any verbal response he had brewing is quickly quieted as you scamper off, bouncing at a fence gate. “I didn’t know there was a playground here!” you exclaim, unclicking the latch and letting yourself in. 

It’s small, but a slide and a set of swings still sit in the grass, along with a tiny sand pit, all illuminated by the few streetlamps littering the sidewalk. 

Seonghwa watches as you find the swingset, sitting yourself down and gently pushing yourself into the air. There’s a freeness to your movement, a simple, unadulterated grin that laces your face as you soar up and up.

With a smile, he joins you on the next swing, slowly picking up pace. But when he comes into view, you blink, suddenly remembering yourself.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to take away from you,” you sputter, your voice floating away into the night. 

But his smile simply grows wider. “Don’t worry about it, baby. You didn’t. And I’m more than happy to be here.”

With a breath of relief, you let a few moments of warm silence pass despite the chill of early spring in the air. 

“I just love the park,” you finally whisper. 

“I love the park too,” he quips, although you aren’t sure if he’s just saying that because he loves you, ergo he loves what you love, or because he actually does. 

But you can see how the park is just so…Seonghwa. It’s a happy kind of place, a place of nice, fond memories, where kids come to play, dogs come to run around, and adults come on peaceful walks. If you had to describe him in a single word, it’d be warm. 

You sigh thinking about it. Life with him is just so…comfortable, so content. You could cry if you think about it for too long. But today isn’t about you, nor do you want to cry tonight. So you come flying off the swing in an elegant arc, meeting his gaze with a raised brow. 

“Race you home!” you challenge, taking off in the direction of your apartment. 

And despite your efforts and your head start, he still overtakes you. Perhaps being on his feet all day and taking care of rambunctious kids has given him plenty of stamina. Nevertheless, he waits for you to catch up by the entrance to the building, watching as your chest heaves up and down from all the running with that annoyingly cute quirk of his lips.

“What the hell, Park Seonghwa,” you gasp. 

“You’re the one who wanted a race, no?” he retorts with an obnoxious(ly endearing) tilt of his head. 

Rolling your eyes, you unlock the door and flick on the lights. Seonghwa steps in behind you, slipping off his shoes then heading to the kitchen to get a drink. But, watching him almost in slow motion, you gasp, realization rushing to your head.

“No, wait!” 

He turns around and lifts his brows, backing away from the fridge as you come barreling in and stand in front of it with your arms out. 

“Can you sit down?” you ask. “Just gimme a moment?”

Somehow his eyes go even wider but he obliges and takes a seat at the small dinner table, watching you intently. Sensing his gaze, you shut the lights off, rummaging around the refrigerator and the cabinets, looking for everything you need in the dark. 

And then when you come out with a beautiful cake and a few lit candles burning on top, Seonghwa shakes his head, although you both know from the smile lacing his lips that he’s just…he feels so full.

“Baby,” he murmurs, standing and walking slowly towards you. He helps you hold the cake up before leaning over it and meeting your lips. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

“I wanted to, just something for the two of us, hm?”

He beams. 

Bringing a peck to his lips, you slowly pull away, whispering, “I know you like some things all to yourself.”

That he does. 

So he blows out the candles, insisting that you cut the cake. As you plate a slice to share, he dips his finger in the vanilla buttercream before poking it with his tongue. 

“How is it?” you ask, your eyes low as you begin to pack the extras back in the original box.  

“Hm, it’s good,” he hums. Seeing your gaze still trained on the finicky container, he smirks. “I think it would be sweeter if–” 

Instead of hearing the rest of his sentence, you’re met with the smallest dab of soft sugar on your cheek and a peck from the Park Seonghwa.

“Huh!?” you sputter. 

“I was right,” he teases. “Much better.”

With a playful roll of your eyes, you find his lips, the residue of cake lingering on your own. “I suppose it is better this way,” you exhale, refusing to pull away and causing your breath to float towards him. 

“I’m always right, aren’t I?”

You sigh, swatting his arm teasingly before heading to the kitchen. 

When you return from putting the box in the fridge, Seonghwa is in the middle of chewing, a small bite still on his fork. He looks up from his seat when you enter, following your gaze as you move to sit across from him.

“Thank you,” he whispers, “for tonight, for everything.”

And then, of course, he smears another bit of frosting on your lips, sealing it with just another photo and, as always, a kiss. 

Your face is buried in your phone as you pound out texts to your annoying coworker. You’ve been working overtime all week and you’d requested the afternoon off long ago, so there is no reason why he should be on your neck right now. 

Your feet lead you through the halls of the hospital, not even having to think about it to know where Seonghwa will be. Your attention is preoccupied, but you don’t have to pay any attention, almost as if it’s become a second nature, finding him. And sure enough, there he is in the pediatric wing. Although, he notices you before you can do the same to him.

“Hold on tight!” he exclaims to the young girl on his back before he ducks down and makes zooming noises as the two of them approach you.

He comes to an abrupt stop in front of you, pausing to wait for you to realize something—or someone—is in your way, and when you notice his shoes under the view of your phone, you shoot your head up, the crease in your forehead smoothening and your lips curving into a smile when you meet his face. 

“Tough day?” he asks.

“You have no idea,” you sigh before you catch a glimpse of the child he’s piggybacking. “Hey there,” you coo.

“This is Maisie,” he says, patting her hand. “Maisie, this is y/n.”

Her eyes widen at his statement. “Y/n! Dr. Park has a crush on you,” she giggles.

Letting your eyes flicker to Seonghwa, you grin at the light dusting of pink beginning to coat his cheeks, the cute child clinging to his coat, the little bear plush on the end of his stethoscope. “Oh really?” you ask, letting your pitch go higher to seem surprised.

She nods confidently. “He told me himself!” 

“Come on,” Seonghwa whines, shaking his head in fake annoyance. “That was a secret!” he whispers into her ear, but loud enough for you to hear.

She simply squeals when he starts tickling her, chasing her a few feet down the hall while pretending to be a monster to tease her before hoisting her back up on his back.

The three of you then begin walking back to Maisie’s room, and you happily indulge in her babblings about the hospital and especially Dr. Park. Hearing her gush about how he’s the “bestest doctor ever” causes even more color to rush to his face and the smile on yours to grow even bigger.  

But when you arrive and he puts her down at her door, already preparing goodbyes so he can finish up his work and get out of here for your date, it simply hasn’t been enough time. Her eyes instantly glaze over, her lip quivering before she starts to sniffle and hold her arms up to him.

“You’re leaving?” she whimpers. “But we just started playing.”

Kneeling down to her level, he rubs her head affectionately. “I have to finish working, Maisie. We can play tomorrow; how’s that sound?”

“But—”

“How about I play with you until Dr. Park is done?’ you pipe up, which seems to placate the patient, excitement returning to her gaze.

“Really!?” she exclaims, taking your hand and dragging you towards the bed. 

When you look back, Seonghwa’s eyes are soft, a little smile lacing his lips, but he still mouths, “Are you sure?” to which you give a firm nod. 

“Don’t worry about it,” you whisper back before turning to the girl again. 

“I’ll come back when I’m done to say goodbye, okay?” Seonghwa asks her.

She looks at him and blinks before turning back to you, not paying him any mind before pulling out a puzzle you recognize from the gift shop. Dumping it out on the table, she quickly starts sorting the pieces based on the cat picture on the box, like she’s done this plenty of times before. 

“You can start the outside,” she says, not looking up from her task. “I’ll do the brown cat first.”

You give a nod and begin gathering the edge pieces. “Do you like cats, Maisie?”

With a shrug, she looks up, her eyes growing wondrous and bright. “They’re okay. I like dogs. I have one named Cheese!”

“Oh really?” You give her a smile.

“Yeah. But Dr. Park got me this,” she says, returning to her task already.

“So, how long have you been here?” you ask, taking a pile of pieces and moving them in front of you.  

She lifts her head for a moment, her eyes on the ceiling. “Maybe thwee months.”

Giving a solemn bounce of your head, you click two puzzle pieces together. 

But despite the gravity of your question, she pauses and looks to you with wide eyes, a sparkle of realization floating within them when she asks quickly, “Are you Dr. Park’s favorite?”

“Me!?” you exclaim, pointing at yourself in surprise as your mouth falls open.

She bobs her head and frowns. “Dr. Park said I’m not his favorite. But he has a crush on you; it has to be you!” 

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” you chuckle sheepishly, ducking your head and trying to focus your attention on the pieces in front of you.

“It’s true!”

With a bite of your lip, you fall into a lull of conversation as she gets into doing the puzzle, her attention all on the many cats in front of you. And soon enough, the bits start to come together, forming a picture of a few kittens cuddled up together, plus a few holes from where you haven’t quite finished yet.

But the shadow lurking in the door’s window is what catches your eye, and you bite back a smile as you imagine how it must be Seonghwa trying to figure out how to steal you away. Turning your head back to the table, your gaze falls upon Maisie’s bleary, blinking eyes, trying to fight off sleep.

“How about we leave this here for next time?” you ask, rubbing her head. “I think you should get some rest, hm?”

Despite rubbing her eyes, she shakes her head. “I’m o—”

Instead of finishing her words, a yawn overtakes her, and you help her out of the chair, guiding her into the tall bed and pulling the blanket up to her chin. Just as you’re about to step away, the grip on your finger tightens, even if it’s just the slightest, so you turn back to face her, squeezing her hand. 

“You’ll come back, right, y/n?” she murmurs.

Nodding, you ruffle her hair and smile. “I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

With that, she falls into a peaceful slumber, and you tiptoe out, of course finding her favorite Dr. Park standing outside, his mouth in a small circle as he blinks back at you.

“Shall we?” you ask, tilting your head at him.

He gives a firm nod, coming back to his senses and offering out his arm for you to take. When he wraps it around your back, he presses you into his side with a fond smile.

“You’re amazing, you know,” he sighs.

“Me?” you gasp, shaking your head. “You do this every day, Seonghwa.” 

He hums, allowing for a moment of silence before he kisses your temple. That is true. However, even though he always loved kids and taking care of them, learning to comfort and watch out for them in some of the most difficult and painful moments in their lives thus far was something he had to learn, then practice and hone until this moment. And you…you just seem to get it. He’s known deep down all along, but it’s so apparent now; there’s just something so warm, so honest and pure about you, how you love. You love and care with your whole heart and your whole being. Anyone who comes across you just can’t help themselves from being fond of you. 

He smiles, shaking his head from his reverie. “I love you,” he says. 

Squeezing his hand in a sleepy response, you allow yourself to relax into his hold as he leads you to the lobby, the pediatric wing being one of the farthest from the parking lot. 

The longer you walk, the more your eyes begin to lower and settle, the toll of the long work day hitting you. As your weight begins to rest more and more on Seonghwa’s side, he smiles fondly, rubbing your arm with his hand. This is something he will never get tired of. 

“I hope…this’ll still be us in 10 years,” he whispers. “In 20, in 30, in forever.”

Maybe he’s making things up but he swears he feels you nuzzle your head against him at that and he can’t help but grin.

As his colleagues greet him, making quick pauses to say hello before they return to rushing around the building, he can’t help but feel his chest swell with pride. This amazing person clinging to his side, you’re his. And he’s forever yours. 

And judging by the twinkles in the older doctors’ eyes, they know it. They see it. It’s a relationship of a lifetime. 

Seonghwa sighs as you reach the lobby atrium. He’s so…he feels so warm. Sure, not everything is exactly perfect in his life—and nothing ever is; that’s just how it is—but he couldn’t care less when he has you by his side. It’s worth it if it’s you. 

He rubs your arm, trying to carefully coax you from your slumber as you pass the fish tank, knowing you always pass it with a brightness in your gaze when you visit. There’s a small quirk to his lips as you lift your head and rub your bleary eyes.

“Hm?” you mumble. “Did I fall asleep?”

He chuckles softly, “Yeah, babe.” He then places his hands on your shoulders, gently turning you around to face the large cylinder that reaches from the floor to the ceiling. “Did you wanna see the fish?”

Gasping, you lean in to kiss his cheek before taking a step towards the glass. “Oh, they’re so cute,” you coo, watching their mouths open and close with a simple joy.

Seonghwa smiles, slipping his hands into his pockets to pull out his phone. Your eyes are so wide, so sparkly as you gaze at the small creatures. Of course he has to take a picture.   

“Going home, Dr. Park?” a voice calls to him.

Your boyfriend turns around, smiling as he greets his old friend. “Gonna get dinner and then head back,” he hums. “You?”

Jongho shakes his head. “Stuck on call tonight.”

Without noticing the other doctor from your view, you come up to Seonghwa, looping your arm through his. “Can we– oh, hi!”

“This is Jongho,” Seonghwa says. “Jongho, y/n, my–”

“Oh you’re y/n!” the former gasps. “Y’know, Seonghwa, all he does is gush about–”

“Hey!” he whines, dusty pink immediately flooding his cheeks, but you simply giggle, kissing his cheek.

“You do, huh?” you tease, squeezing his wrist just a little bit more.

Your boyfriend lets out a sigh, holding tighter on to your arm. “Well…”

Rolling his eyes, Jongho takes a step back, knowing his friend’s antics. “Anyway I don’t wanna keep you guys here. Enjoy dinner.” He then glances at the giant tank you were admiring a few moments earlier. “Unless you guys want a picture?”

“Yes please!” you exclaim, dragging Seonghwa backwards to the fish once more before he can even take a breath (not that he would refuse anyway).

So your boyfriend places his hand around you and you return with a side hug as Jongho moves into place.

However as he starts to count down, Seonghwa takes your hand, spinning you to face each other.

“Three.”

“What’re you–”

“Two.”

He places his lips on yours, a small smirk against your mouth as he pulls you closer, leaving you with wide eyes.

“One.”

Seonghwa makes a mental note to send the pictures you took of the two of you in your fancy clothes before and during dinner to himself as he puts the dishes in the dishwasher. Even though it was just a simple date at home, he finds that these are his favorite times with you. Neither of you need to be somewhere expensive to have fun. Rather, the ordinary, peaceful moments with just each other, where you can tease him for not knowing how to put on a tie or where you can simply admire him in the kitchen, are your favorites. 

Since you’ve finished cleaning up the table, you come into the room and wrap your arms around him from behind, now clad in a plain t-shirt and shorts. 

“Hm?” he hums. “What’s up, angel?”

“Nothin’,” you murmur into his back. “Just…love you.”

He smiles. “I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

As the last utensil goes into the basket, you place a slow kiss on his neck and he grasps the hands laced in front of his waist. He leads you out to the living room and you follow in silence, still attached to his back, knowing that anywhere he goes is somewhere you’re more than happy to go to too. 

Silence now fills the room as he lights a candle on the shelf and pushes his coffee table to the side, nothing but the distant chatter of pedestrians and traffic just beyond the walls reaching your ears. With a warmth of vanilla beginning to meet your nostrils, you bury your nose into his shirt, letting his cologne swim in your mind.

But then his pant leg brushes against your calf, and you’re reminded of how casually you’re dressed now that you’ve changed out of the clothes you came in. So, as he makes his way to his phone on the couch, you reach your hands up from his middle to ruffle his hair then let loose the top couple buttons on his shirt before returning your hands to his waist. 

“What’s that about?” he teases.

“Mm, nothing,” you murmur. 

He turns in your hold, pressing the screen of his phone a few times, a few clicks coming before he taps it again and a gentle melody waltzes into the room. His phone is tossed aside in favor of holding you, his hands coming under your arms and finding their place on your back. 

Moving gently, he rocks you back and forth and presses sweet kisses to your head to the rhythm. 

This is it. It hits Seonghwa like a truck. Nothing will be better than this, not unless you’re by his side. This…this is what he wants and will want for a lifetime, for forever.

He can see it all with you, celebrating every milestone, every anniversary both old and new, helping each other through the tough times, moving in with you, putting a ring on your finger, growing old together. What does a future without you in it even look like? 

A breath falls from his lips. Wow…

Maybe you can read his mind. You glance towards his eyes, your own boring into his with a deepness richer than the ocean or the most expensive treasure. Then you bring your lips to his, never leaving for more than a couple seconds to breathe and his chasing each time you go.  Minutes pass, maybe hours, just you two in each other’s arms, swaying to your own beat. This is it.

And when you both grow too tired to stand, the soft tunes still humming along in the background, you collapse on the couch, his arms bringing you as close to his chest as possible before he nuzzles his nose against your neck. Even if Seonghwa’s bed is much larger and comfier than his living room sofa, peaceful slumber comes to you both. 

The last thing you see before you close your eyes for the evening is the bright stars shining through the windows, above the roofs and the trees. The world is so, so big. How lucky are you to be here, to have found him? 

You press a kiss to his temple, then tumble into the endless pool of love you share.

“Can you tell me a story?” you sigh, rolling around in his grasp and placing a hand on Seonghwa’ chest.

“Sure…you must be stressed, huh? You usually fall asleep quickly with me.”

“All I can think about is my report,” you frown.

He thinks for a moment, stroking your cheek. “What kinda story?”

Trying to come up with ideas, you resettle in his hold, thinking of what you need to hear most right now. “Can you tell me how you fell in love with me?”

His lips quirk. “Of course.”

As he ponders for a moment, his chest rises and falls in a slow rhythm, that of a late night wave rumbling against the sand, and you let yourself fall into it, the endless ocean of loving Seonghwa. He rubs his hand over the one of yours that rests near his heart, kissing your fingers.

“Well,” he starts, suddenly shy, heat coming off his face, “You know—you know about…what Hongjoong said. He’d always gush about how you were the sweetest, kindest person he knew.” 

He pauses, brushing your cheek with his thumb before stroking your back. 

“He’s right, y’know” he adds, a murmur under his breath. “And whenever I saw you…you just…made everyone laugh and smile like it was the first time again. And of course you’re so stunning, so I kinda…I kinda admired you from afar, friends but barely, only mutual. I guess we were really acquaintances.

“A-and then…Hongjoong asked me if he could set me up with someone.” He grins a little as he recalls the day he received that text, his eyes fluttering closed fondly like the world’s most beautiful butterfly wings on a peaceful day against a soft flower. “I figured it’d been a while since I dated, so I agreed.”

You giggle softly into his chest, his low, soft voice meeting your ears, a fireplace kind of warmth on a cold night and lulling you into a relaxed state of mind. 

“And you’re so fun and cute to be around: it was only natural. And everything Hongjoong said was true and thensome, and feeling all the happiness and laughter you give other people…for me…that…I…I just feel so warm, so full, with you. So myself, so loved.

“I love you,” he whispers. “I was slowly falling in love with you, and then it…it just hit me all at once. That I couldn’t imagine a future without you, that I just felt so…happy…with you, that you made everything better, that you make everything better. I am so happy with you.”

You twitch in his hold, rolling over slightly so he can see your lazy, lowered eyes and soft smile. While your breaths have become slower and deeper, he knows you can still hear him, just teetering on the edge of sleep. 

“And I’m so proud of you. You’re gonna kill it at your presentation tomorrow.”

With that, you give in, cuddling close and absorbing his warmth under the covers to find a restful night. Listening to the beat of your heart over him, he sighs. After a soft click of the camera, he puts his phone back on the nightstand. You’re just the cutest, how can he resist?

“I love you,” he mumbles once more. “I…don’t even know…what a future without you would be, y’know. I want it all with you, and I’ll give you…I’ll give you my everything.”

Then he slips into the same peaceful slumber, knowing nothing about what’s to come, except that it’ll all be fine, since you’re here, cozied up on top of him. Even in sleep, you cling to him, and he to you.

Seonghwa runs a hand through his hair before he buries his face in his palms. Why did he say those things? Sitting alone in his—your—apartment, in the shivering silence, he sighs. He might just be the biggest idiot on the planet. 

He pushes a hand through his hair once more then holds his fingers to his forehead as he tries to recall your fight. 

You’re right. All he’s been doing the whole week has been squabbling with you, arguing with you about things you’ve just been trying to work on, for the both of you. 

Every time you excitedly ran up to him as he came home, planted a kiss on his cheek, and then started rattling off possible ideas for your new apartment together (an idea he’d brought up in the first place), he responded with a quick “No” or “Later” or some variant, then padded off to the bedroom. All you wanted was to take a burden off his shoulders, to take a little more charge of decorating your new shared home while he was a bit more occupied than usual with work. And yet, he just brushed you off. All because he was too stressed and bothered to deal with it, with you. You aren’t a bother; Seonghwa doesn’t even know when he started or why he’s talking like that. Would you even want to move in with him after this?

Shaking his head, he lets his eyes wander to the window, a quick winter dusk falling upon the landscape. Are you okay? You haven’t come back in—he checks the clock—almost an hour, and immediately the dread and worry flood over his stomach. The churning acid turns to a storm in his belly, threatening to rise and blow over. Where on earth could you be? 

He rushes out, grabbing the first jacket on the hook near the entrance before standing in the street and turning his head to and fro. Taking another deep breath, he begins to pace and runs through where you could’ve gone. Maybe Hongjoong’s? 

But when he checks his phone and doesn’t see a single message from him, he knows that’s not it. If Hongjoong knew what he’d done to you, he would be giving his best friend the biggest ass whooping and lecture of a lifetime.

Maybe you went to your favorite cafe, the one a few blocks over, to pick up a small treat. He heads in that direction, no other leads to go off of, wind biting at his cheeks.

And yet, when he passes the small playground on the way there, he realizes he’s even bigger of a dumbass. 

He opens the gate slowly, trying to minimize the squealing of the metal, before he shoves his hands in his pockets and makes his way to the swings. Surely enough, there you are, gently rocking back and forth on the small set, your feet dragging in the ground.

“Mind if I join?” he murmurs.

Glancing up, you find his eyes, a color as dark as the sky in this crescent moon night.

“Sure,” you mumble, bringing your gaze back to your shoes.

He takes the swing next to you and starts to gently pump his legs alongside you. “I’m sorry.” Allowing for a moment of silence, he continues. “You have every right to be mad. I’m an ass.”

His words cause you to snicker. Hearing the kids’ favorite doctor let out such profanities is a little amusing, you have to admit, even if your heart feels so heavy in this moment. “That’s one way to put it.”

“All you wanted was to help, to make things easier. And I wasn’t responding at all. I made things worse, huh?”

He’s met with a slow nod. 

“I shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on you. I…I’m gonna be better. I promise, and I’m sorry.”

Finally you lift your gaze from the ground, meeting his. The puffiness surrounding your orbs causes a lump to form in his throat.

“We can’t really go back. But can you do something for me?”

He blinks. Then it all happens at once.

“Yes!” He jumps off the swing and stands in front of you, getting to his knees. “Anything! I-I’m gonna be better. A-and if you don’t wanna…move in with me right now, I get it. I’ll–”

You’re falling into his arms, resting your head against his warmth and letting small streams flow down your face. “Of course I wanna live with you, you idiot,” you chuckle despite the tears falling from your cheeks. 

And he’s stroking your back as his own salty droplets begin to meet your skin. “We’re gonna make this work, I promise.”

“Just…talk to me, talk to me, Hwa.”

Kissing your temple, he lets himself sink into your embrace. “I know, angel. I should’ve just talked to you…way before today.”

A beat passes before you test the waters, slowly sliding your hand into his. Of course, he greets it with a hearty squeeze.

“How about we go to that cafe, and you can tell me about all the places you found and your ideas?” he asks. 

“Only if you’re paying,” you quip.

“Wouldn’t dream of anything else, angel.”

And so you begin telling him about all of the cute little houses you’d found and saved online, about all the dreamy living rooms you could imagine lounging in with him, all the gorgeous kitchens you could see the two of you cooking together in. He takes it all in, already picturing a life together, a place where you can grow even more, side by side. 

The only thing to take him from the peaceful bubble you’ve created is you pulling your phone from your pocket, watching as you take a picture of your intertwined, swinging hands.

“Hm?”

Blinking at him, you smile a little. “I wanna remember it all,” you murmur. “The good…the bad. The good is self explanatory, but the bad, we grow from it, no?”

He nods. 

“I wanna remember everything with you.”

His heart squeezes, and he can’t help but pull you into an embrace right in the middle of the sidewalk.

In the end, it was a cute, quaint place in a quiet neighborhood around the same distance from your office and the hospital that you settled on. With the light that always streamed through into the kitchen and the beautiful bay window in the living room opposite a large fireplace, how could you say no? Not to mention there was a spacious backyard, perfect for the two of you to start a little plant family. There was just plenty of room for you and Seonghwa, enough for you to grow yet not too much where it would be lonely or overwhelming. 

Speaking of your boyfriend, he comes inside with an unceremonious plop, bringing the last box from the moving truck. 

“Lunch break?” you ask, handing him a glass of water.

He nods, taking the cup and letting the liquid slide down his throat. 

“We probably have some noodles somewhere or something,” you wonder aloud as you turn and rifle through the containers littering the ground, looking for some utensils and pots. When you finish finding everything you need, you leave Seonghwa in the entryway, his chest still heaving as he wipes the droplets from his chin. Who knew moving would be this much work? Regardless, it makes no difference to him; it’ll be worth it.  

With his breath at last under control, he makes his way to you, placing the empty glass in the sink and wrapping his arms around you. A kiss finds its way under your ear as he watches you turn on the stove.

“I was thinking we could do the kitchen and bedroom today,” you say, melting at his touch. “Then work on the living room and other stuff. Maybe we can start the garden stuff when it’s warmer in a few weeks or so.”

“That sounds good, angel.” 

And silence falls upon you as you eat lunch, as you continue unpacking into the evening. Even then, you don’t need words to communicate with Seonghwa. A simple sigh will call him over to help you move a particularly heavy box up the stairs. A quick glance will tell you where he wants a plant or decoration to be put, and vice versa. 

By the time sunset falls, the bedroom is all set up, the bathroom stocked and the kitchen essentials all put away. You let yourself fall into the bed, your body sinking into the fluff as the exhaustion of the day hits you. Yet, there’s a large grin on your face as you stare at your lovely boyfriend standing in the doorway. 

It’s all real, huh?

Seonghwa chuckles, stealing a picture that he hides under the pretense of playing music, before he settles in next to you. Pressing a kiss to your cheek, he props his head up against his fist and admires you. 

“What? Do I have something on my face?” you ask, noticing his eyes on you. 

He shakes his head. “No.”

“Then why are you—”

“Can’t I admire my favorite person in the world?” he asks. 

Lowering your gaze, you let your smile grow, if that was even possible. But, a moment of silence later, his stomach gurgles, causing you to chuckle instead.

 “How about take out for dinner?” he asks.

“Only if you get those dumplings and egg tarts,” you quip.

“Done and done.”

Rolling the shopping cart to a stop in front of the cereal aisle, you turn and bring your fingers to your chin as you examine the options. With a hum, you take a box of oat cereal and turn to Seonghwa, his arms on either side of you to keep you between him and the metal handle.

“You think this is good?” you ask, turning the package in your hands as you check the ingredients and try to imagine its taste.

“How about…” He reaches for the same type of cereal, but a version with dried fruit. “This one?”

Chuckling, you take the box and place it in the cart, rolling away from his grasp and towards the dairy section. 

“Hey!” he exclaims, running after you with a pout. “You’re really gonna leave your beloved boyfriend alone in the grocery store?” 

Luckily a quick peck seems to placate him before you go about the shopping and Seonghwa…he’s somewhere getting stuff you definitely do need. Rolling your eyes as you pull out the seemingly endless bags of sweets and snacks, you ultimately give in to his puppy eyes.

“Maybe you shouldn’t leave your boyfriend alone in the grocery store,” he teasingly sing-songs in your ear during checkout.

“You’re ridiculous, Hwa,” you sigh, shaking your head as you try to hide the smile lacing your lips. 

Your efforts, however, clearly are for nothing when his mouth brushes the rim of your ear to mumble, “you love it,” before returning to packing the groceries.

“Never mind, you’re the worst.”

He pouts. “Hey!”

Getting deja vu as you roll the cart into the parking lot, he clings to your arm once more as you usher him towards the car. He does let go to help you put the bags in the trunk, but once you start pushing the shopping cart back towards the store, he’s back, holding on to your waist.

“I love you,” he whispers against your back. 

With a chuckle, you reach for his hand and press a kiss to his fingers. “I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

The second the cart clinks with the others and is out of your grasp, Seonghwa moves his arms to wrap around yours, waddling you both back to the car.

“Is everything okay, Hwa?” you ask. 

He definitely does like PDA, but this seems like a new level. Had you missed something? Perhaps something at work? Or…oh no was it an anniversary? Maybe that employee was actually flirting and he was jealous (okay maybe that’s it, just the littlest bit)?

“Yeah,” he hums. “Why’d you ask?”

“Mm, you’re extra touchy today. There’s nothing wrong with that—I mean, I’m happy if you are, and I love it—but I just…wanna know if you’re good, y’know?”

He nods against you. “I guess…I just, I feel a little extra lucky today.”

A nice quiet comes through as words get blown into the wind. With a sigh, you admire the sky as the puffy clouds float past, revealing a shy sunset, a dance of pinks and purples, warm yellows and oranges mixing above, causing halos to appear over the white puffballs. 

Maybe he’s right. Maybe today is just a lucky day. 

That’s especially true since Seonghwa doesn’t notice you pull out your phone to snap a picture until you turn the camera to face you both, his face buried against you.

“Cheese!” you exclaim, but he glances up a moment too late. 

Chuckling, you open the photo, seeing his surprised yet steady, warm gaze still looking at you as if you brightened the whole world, like you were the most beautiful star in the sky, the most important masterpiece in the world despite all the beauty behind you both.

“Hey! Lemme see!” he exclaims.

“No, it’s mine!” you squeal, shoving your phone in your pocket and breaking free to dash towards the car. 

He shakes his head, a fond smile on his face as he lets you run ahead. You may win this time, but he’ll definitely be getting that selfie later.

You know it isn’t an ordinary Saturday afternoon when Seonghwa jumps at the sound of the front door opening. With raised brows, you eye him for a moment before taking off your coat. 

“Just gimme 10 minutes then we can head out?” you ask.

“Sounds good,” he hums, but you sense the tension in his throat. “I, uh, was actually thinking we could…stay here?”

Nodding, you try to shake off his uneasiness, guessing it must be from work. Maybe there’d been a particularly tough case earlier in the week. Or maybe he hadn’t slept well? But you immediately know the latter idea is far from the truth with the way he refused to let you go when you woke up earlier. 

Regardless, when you come back downstairs and he hands you a bouquet of sweet lavenders and blooming sunflowers with the brightest smile in the universe, you put your worries to rest. 

He’d been extra jumpy about today’s date, usually sprinkling in teasing hints throughout the days prior about something new he wanted to try or a recipe he had in mind for dinner. But there was absolutely nothing for today. Even when you’d get curious and ask, he’d pretend to zip his mouth shut, throwing away the key like he was in elementary school again. Maybe it was a habit he’d picked up from the kids, a thought that makes you grin when you imagine them teaching him.

Nonetheless, he leads you out to the backyard with his hand over yours, the blooms of mid-Spring meeting your nose and a bright blue sky above that speckles with the start of sunset. With the warmer weather, your little garden has sprouted once more, a reminder of all the time and love you’ve grown and built with the love of your life. And the table and chairs set up await on the patio, perfectly for a peaceful date night that’s almost reminiscent of your first date with Seonghwa. 

You can’t help but admire the little lights you put up last summer along the fence either. Everything just came together so well. It’s a little hard to believe it’s all yours. Even your boyfriend notices them, glancing up from where his hands are intertwined in front of your waist as the two of you admire the handiwork you’ve put into this space together.

But after a moment, Seonghwa tugs on your arm. When you glance at him with raised brows, he simply smiles, leading you back to the table a few steps away and inviting you to sit down. A wide array of dishes from snacks and dinner foods to dessert all lay in front of you, leaving you to wonder when and how he got this all set up. But when you tilt your head in his direction, he just grins, kissing your fingers, your cheeks, your temples.

Business goes on as usual, like this is a normal date or night-in together, hearing about the kids’ silly antics, what his family is up to, what you’ve been working on at the office. You almost forget your suspicions from earlier. There’s certainly been fancier and more expensive surprises, but nights like these always remind you that is definitely your favorite kind.

And when dinner has long been finished, you manage to convince him to slip into the grass with you before cleaning up. The soft blades meet your skin as you cuddle into Seonghwa’s side with a sigh. 

It’s funny. On the most beautiful night you think you’ve ever seen, dusk having well made itself known by now, you still can see how Seonghwa looks at you like the most precious thing in the universe, the most sparkling figure in his sky. And in Seonghwa’s eyes, you see the world, and the stars, and all that is beautiful, too. In your hands, you hold his heart. Tonight is just more proof of that. 

When you let out a soft exhale, your gaze high in the sky and distracted by the twinkling above, Seonghwa figures this is it. He pulls out the small booklet from the picnic basket, an old album you two had gotten on vacation somewhere a while back. 

Turning back to face him, your eyes land on the object in his hands. The picture in the cover is one you vividly remember, and you glance to his eyes, tears beginning to line your eyes.

“I…I’ve been collecting this to give to you,” he murmurs, flipping open the book and turning to the first page. 

You let out a small squeak as you gaze at your younger selves. Your first date, the two of you wide eyed and unknowing in your old apartment with Hongjoong, is followed by memories of your first kiss, his first night over, his first birthday with you, moving in. You don’t even remember some of the specific details of these moments. They’re just a random date night at his old place, an obscure night over, the aftermath of a fight, maybe a day when you were meeting him after work, the most ordinary day and occasion shopping at the grocery store. To onlookers, they’re so uneventful, but they’re everything to you both. In such moments, you turn to realize the little flower of love you’ve both been growing has bloomed a little more. It’s not so little anymore. It’s become a whole garden.

Each and every time, without fail, you don’t fail to see the love in your gazes. And if you aren’t in the frame, you don’t fail to see the tender sincerity in the shot, the natural honesty and fond affection in the photographer’s lens. It’s so apparent, so easy. Everything is with Seonghwa, especially loving him. The work it takes to love each other, it’s always going to be worth it. 

He wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close despite the jackhammer going off where his heart should be. “I-I don’t really know…know where to begin,” he chuckles before clearing his throat. “I’m just so…in awe of you, how much joy you bring everyone, how much light you bring me.

“My whole heart, my whole being, is in love with you, loves you. They’re yours. Maybe you knew already, but if you didn’t, I want you to know; I’m yours. 

“It’s you, and it’ll always be you, the one I love.”

“Seonghwa,” you murmur, a tear threatening to fall as you clutch a little tighter to him before he continues.

“I know I’m a little clumsy, and I can’t promise that I will ever not be, but I promise that I’ll hold and love you as if you’re the most precious thing in the universe, because you are. And, maybe, even with that, despite that, would you marry me? W-would you make me even happier than I am now?”

The droplets pooling in your eyes begin to drop without another word, and Seonghwa’s smile falls just as they do. As he cups your cheeks, thumbing your skin and flicking off the tears, you can’t even find words for him, especially when you glance up from your trembling hands and meet his gaze.

While a flash of hurt flickers behind his starry eyes, there is just so much warmth in them, for you. It’s more than any summer’s day, yet not as overwhelming and painful as an unrelenting sun beam. Nonetheless, it will never end. It’s simply better in every way.

“Did I do something wrong?” he whispers. “Oh, angel, please don’t cry. Tell me what’s—”

“No,” you sob, refusing to let him even entertain such a thought. “God, you did everything right. You’re just so…I love you.”

Tilting your head to face him, he meets your orbs. Even through the glassy, tearful surface covering your eyes, you look to him with such coziness, security. In your eyes, he sees his home, his love, and his future. 

A small exhale leaves his lips before they meet yours, slowly pressing soft kisses to calm you down. He doesn’t need to say it for you to know that whether or not you say yes, he will accept your decision and never stop loving you. Between every kiss, he pulls away for a second, and in those moments, you are continuously reminded of how you never want to stop being with him, how you never want to part.

When he slips his head back once more, you move your hands to clasp each other behind his neck, bringing his forehead to yours. 

“Of course I’d say yes,” you whisper, so quiet as if it’s a secret for just him to know.

This time, when he meets your plush lips, there’s a smile that curls against you, one that makes a similar one grow on your features.

But while your reply was an answer just for him, he doesn’t want to be the only one to know. So, as difficult as it is for him, he leans back, just for a moment, his eyes on yours with that bright twinkle you adore so much that rivals the sun, the full moon, and all the galaxies.

The fact that there is so much love in him, in his eyes, and it’s all for you, makes you lower your head, a shy grin taking over. 

It doesn’t help when he takes your left palm and slides the sparkly ring on your finger before lifting it to his lips. Pulling away, he squeezes your hand and starts brushing his thumb slowly over your skin.

“Y’know,” you murmur, cuddling further into his side on the soft lawn, “I was thinking, for our wedding, maybe…we could have that lemon raspberry cake?”

He chuckles, pressing a kiss to your head. “I was thinking the same thing.”

a/n: hello im (yu)mei :] 

i’ve been writing this since the summer but then school happened so i haven’t been on tumblr much since then, but i’m just so down bad for seonghwa so i finished this over my break 😭

my writing schedule is also pretty inconsistent rn bc of uni but i’m planning to add ateez to my list of groups i write for regularly when i have more time/come off my weird lil unofficial + indefinite hiatus :] (although i admittedly am not good at sticking to this LOL i already have some drafts for some of the members + wips 😳)

feel free to come chit chat with me (i-i’m a seonghwa ult n yeosang + joong are like my official bias wreckers but mingi and san also ...) and thank you for reading ❤️ (ps this is all your fault @sansang​)

#ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez x you #ateez scenarios #ateez fics #seonghwa fics #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa x you #seonghwa scenarios #mei's #mei.atz #ateez seonghwa

[jungwnies]

⋅ ⎯ ✈︎ 박성화 park seonghwa | s. park seonghwa a-z sfw alphabet ! | g. romance, fluff, slice of life ! | p. gn!reader x bf!seonghwa ! | wc. ~1.5k !

❥ — requested by anon

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀⠀masterlist | navigation

a — affection (how affectionate is he? how often does he show affection?)

he shows affection often i think he’s very affectionate and sweet

but not in public too much

he likes to keep pda under the wraps

but he does kiss you quite often

his favorite is to cuddle you and then bend down a little while you’re in his arms and kiss you :(

b — beginning (what would he be like as a bsf; how would the friendship start?)

as a best friend seonghwa will be your #1 companion

he is someone who will listen to you about all your problems

he’s also someone who doesn’t expect it back from you

it’s very much appreciated if you do listen to his problems

the friendship would quite frankly start out of no where

i feel like he was on a dating app or something and he came across you

once you guys started talking he deleted the app because he only likes you

c — cuddles (does he like to cuddle; how would he cuddle?)

yes he loves it secretly i don’t think he tells you

but you can tell how much he loves it

he literally does not let go of you

he holds you so close to him you can probably hear his heart beat

he likes to rest his his chin on your forehead and place sweet kisses on your forehead ugh

d — domestic (does he want to settle down; how good is he at cooking and cleaning?)

yes he does 100% not immediately though

he wants to wait a little bit and he’s pretty good at being a chef and cleaner

he's pretty hard to maintain though as per hongjoong, but trust you've got this!

e — ending (if he had to break up with you; how would he do it?)

i feel like he would ghost you

im saying though because i feel like he wouldn't know how to handle a situation like this

so he would simply be like bye and leave without saying anything

rip to whoever he breaks up with, not you though

f — fiance (how does he feel about commitment; would he want to get married quick?)

no no no

he wants to take it slow

super slow

no rushing, a lot of TLC

like a lot of it

slow burn romance is what you get with seonghwa

g — gentle (how gentle is he; emotionally + physically?)

he's gentle but dangerous

like a bear

fluffy but evil kind of thing

i don't think he would hurt you physically at all

but if you gave him a reason to hurt you emotionally he will

h — hugs (does he likes hugs; how often does he hug you; what are his hugs like?)

he loves them

he always hugs you

like those cliche couples in rollercoaster lines

and they are all disgusting and loving 🤢

that's y'all

only with hugs though

he's not going to make out with you in public that's for sure

unless you initiate it, then it's not happening

i — i love you (how fast does he say he loves you?)

i think it slips sooner than later

but does he mean it the first time he says it? no.

i think he would say it because he feels himself falling in love with you

and then eventually he does mean it

he doesn't intend to hurt you

j — jealousy (how jealous does he get; what does he do when he is jealous?)

this man is so possessive i do not care what anyone else has to say about this

he gets jealous easily and fast

and you will be able to see it displayed through his facial expressions frfr

usually he pulls you closer, gives whoever is looking at you a malicious stare

he literally has like murder on his mind whenever he sees someone eyeing you

he's not as bad as san, but it's pretty bad

k — kisses (what are his kisses like; where does he like to kiss you; where does he like to be kissed?)

your lips

he loves your lips

and loves to be kissed on his neck

which, i think he loves your neck too

l — little ones (how is he around children?)

he's so sweet with children

with how possessive he is with you

you wouldn't expect him to be super sweet with them

at first it's a little awkward

but then he really enjoys his time with them

i don't think he's father material at the moment, but he will be one day

m — morning (how are mornings spent with him?)

in bed

always in bed

he wakes up and pulls you closer to him if you're not already in his arms

doesn't matter if you're still asleep or not

he wakes up first and then pulls you in his arms just to fall back asleep

n — night (how are nights spent with him?)

also in bed

or in the shower? but this is sfw soooo...

probably in bed though

same scenario as the mornings

o — open (when would he open up; does he say everything at once or does he wait to reveal himself?)

i think he doesn't open up quickly

but once he does he's telling you his whole life story

unsolicited stories about his life

but i'm sure you don't mind right?

right?!?!?!

p — patience (how easily angered is he?)

it really depends on his mood

if he's already irritated from work or whatever he has little to no patience

but if he's in a calm and not so angry mood he has a lot of patience and is probably bothered by nothing

he can go from 1 to 100 within seconds

i wouldn't mess with him tbh

q — quizzes (how much would he remember about you; does he remember every little detail; or is he forgetful?)

i feel like he secretly knows everything about you

like he pretends that he doesn't

but in reality he does and it shocks you when he brings you home some of your favorite things

whether is material things, food, or whatever you name it

it's shocking because he likes to play dumb

when he in actuality knows you like the back of his hand

r — remember (what is his favorite moment in the relationship?)

cuddle time 100%

s — security (how protective is he; how does he protect you; how would he like to be protected?)

he protects you by making you walk away from the street and closer to the grass on the sidewalks

always holds your hand in public and keeps you safe

and if anyone tries it with you

his death stare is enough to actually kill people

maybe put them in a trance or something idk

he likes to be protected by you in public by staying near him

your safety is his safety

that's how he views it

t — try (how much effort does he put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he puts a lot of effort

it doesn't seem like it because a lot of the dates are minimal

but a lot of though actually went into it

do not underestimate this man

his brain is full of ideas i swear

u — ugly (what are some of his bad habits?)

probably the fact he can go from 1 to 100 on a scale of anger

he might snap sometimes

after all, he's an aries

he's got fire in him

all aries do

v — vanity (how concerned is he with his looks?)

he doesn't really care

but like he also cares at the same time

he tries to look good yet comfy

he pulls it off though

so W ig

w — whole (would he feel incomplete without you?)

no

i am sorry

but no

i don't think he would be any different with our without you

even if you were the love of his life

he might be super heartbroken forever

but his personality is still there

he gives himself reasons on why he shouldn't feel incomplete without you

x — xtra (random headcanon for him)

i think that despite him being a little mean sometimes

he's a sweetheart deep down

you just have to crack through that shell

y — yuck (what are some things he wouldn't like; in general or in a partner?)

i don't think he would like someone who is full of theirselves

seonghwa seems like he has a big ego ngl

so if you also had a big ego

i think that you guys would clash heads

he loves your confidence

but he doesn't like cockiness

he has a big ego but i am full supporter of humble seonghwa

z — zzz (what are his sleeping habits?)

he doesn't really make noises

but he tends to take up a lot of space

but i guess him holding you close makes up for that loss space

but if you want space in bed

just...

just get your own bed LOL

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