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Modern Millionaires Review

TheMMSaaS & Modern Millionaires Review (2023 Update): Are These Gurus Legit?

The new income app “MMSaaS” is a software promoted by the modern millionaires Chance & Abdul and they say you can make money online with it.

It’s essentially a CRM called “leadific” that you can sell to small business owners for a monthly rate of $299, and by doing so, start creating passive income.

But before they give you access to this CRM, you will have to join their Modern Millionaires program. So that leaves us with one question, is this opportunity the real deal?

Before writing this review, I’ve spent several hours reading through its customer complaints on various platforms such as BBB, Google, Youtube, and Trustpilot.

Now, I do want to be totally transparent in this review, so…

DISCLAIMER:

This Modern Millionaires review has been thoroughly researched with information and testimonials that are available to anyone in the public. Any conclusions drawn by myself are opinions.

PROS

Chance and Abdul have an impressive track record

No previous skills are needed

This business model has great potential

CONS

The program has a hefty price tag

There are overhead that will add up before you

Additional costs can anywhere from $300-400 per month

WHY LISTEN TO US?

My name is Josiah, and this is my Dad, Joel.

Together, we make up the team here at Scamrisk.

If you’ll let me bother you for two minutes, I’d like to quickly explain why I’m even here writing this review.

In early 2020, I had just graduated from college & had no real career prospects.

I knew I was destined for something more, but I had no clue how I was going to make it happen.

I had this sinking feeling in my gut all the time… like the “big man upstairs” had accidentally given me the version of life where I’d be mediocre forever, instead of the one where I was, ya know – happy & fulfilled.

Anyway…

I had fiddled around with some different online businesses in college:

Some random MLMs, a bit of affiliate marketing, a (failed) dropshipping store or two, all the usual suspects.

Even my dad had been involved in MLMs back in the day… selling knives & other random nonsense people (probably) didn’t need.

All I really wanted was to find something that was going to actually work for me.

Maybe those things had worked for others, but for me it all turned up a fat “0” in the bank account department.

So I searched! And searched… and searched… and searched…

And eventually, I somehow stumbled upon a program that promised to help me build an income online (read about it here if you’re curious).

I didn’t really want to be “rich”.

The thought of making a reliable $5K per month & not having to worry about clocking in to a 9-to-5 ever again was all I needed.

Sure, there were people in the program doing high-6 and low-7 figures per year… but that wasn’t what I was out for.

I just wanted to provide freedom for myself, and if I was lucky, take my family along for the ride.

Fast forward a few days and a few phone calls & I was enrolled!

Here’s the first “money making website” I put up:

I built that site in 2020, and it still makes me $1,500 per month. It’s a basic 5 page website I built based on a template the program provides.

The best part to me? My dad and I get to do it all together!

So between the:

Ease of reaching $5-$10K per month in income online

Straightforward-ness of the system to do it

Fact that I get to do it w/ my family

Is why I recommend local lead generation as my #1 business model for making money online.

Sure, it takes some work and dedication – but anyone that tells you that there’s a business out there that requires no work is selling you a lemon.

I’m not saying you need to sign up for the same program I did, but I would definitely recommend giving the business model a peek!

Modern Millionaires is an ad agency course. The basic premise is that you’ll learn how to build your own ad agency, land clients, and get them results.

Running an agency (even though they’re a bit of a commodity nowadays) isn’t a bad way to get your feet wet in the world of online business.

That said, there are a lot of moving parts with this business model:

Prospecting – you need to know how to find potential clients

Sales – you need to know how to convince those clients to give you money

Media Buying – you need to know how to run ads profitably

Copywriting – you need to know how to tailor your ad messaging for the right customers

Design – you need to know how to design ads/landing pages to maximize conversions

Email Marketing – you need to know how to follow up with prospects and customers

Automation – you need to know how to connect everything properly

Now, most course-sellers will try to make this easier on you by telling you they’ve managed to “automate everything”, offering “plug-and-play” campaigns, and “pre-built templates”.

Here’s the thing though:

Markets are always changing.

They get more savvy as time goes on.

If you buy a program with thousands of other students, where everything is built out for you, there’s an almost 100% chance those templates don’t work.

Why?

Because if thousands of other students are using those exact same “plug and play” campaigns, tens of millions of people have already seen them, reducing their effectiveness.

Not to mention, with most agency programs, the templates are actually built by some virtual assistant in the Philippines or India, and have never actually been tested in real life.

And if they have, there’s a good chance they’re extremely outdated, since most programs don’t bother updating their templates after launching. The course creator gets too busy just trying to sell to more and more students, instead of focusing on quality education.

Now, here’s the most sinister part of this whole thing:

Most course creators market their agency courses as something you can do anywhere in the world. You might hear them say things like “The world is my office” or “This is a simple passive income business”.

That’s just plain false.

Running an effective agency is in no way passive. Look at the list above, and remember that you can’t rely on pre-built templates. You’re responsible for every part of the process.

Does that really sound like a business you can do from a laptop on the beach?

See how this could be a problem?

Now, what if there was a way you could build a passive income stream that’s actually passive?

An income stream that doesn’t require:

Mastering 100 different roles

Needing to be a technology wizard

Working around the clock just to keep things from blowing up

An income stream that brings in consistent revenues every single month (from a couple thousand dollars to well over $10,000)?

An income stream you could actually build in your spare time, and grow as large or as small as you want to, without having to spend hours a day chasing, selling, or managing anything?

If that sounds like something you’d be interested in, check out Digital Real Estate.

However, if you’d still like to know more about Modern Millionaires and are wondering about the MMSaaS income app, keep reading…

TheMMSaaS Income App Is It Legit?

Before we dive into the rest of Modern Millionaires and what you get in the program itself, it’s important for us to mention their SaaS update.

If you watched their webinar you’ll recall that they offered a D4U system in which you pay them $18,995 and they set up 10-30 weekly appointments where you can sell their SaaS called Leadific.

Leadific is a CRM that clients can use for their own business to track their own leads in an easy to see pipeline.

Leadific costs $299 per month and the gurus boast that you can keep 100% of that commission.

Now that all sounds great…

But as you’ll see from other consumer reviews down below, they are very disappointed in the quality of the leads and don’t make much sales.

Beyond that, try and remember why you were interested in something like modern millionaires in the first place…

You wanted financial independence.

A life with no boss.

A life with no outward control over you.

Well, Chance and Abdul are basically your new boss.

Keeping you from going out and being as independent as you really wanna be…

What you really would be is a fancy looking employee that’s really working for their white label agency.

That’s just the unfortunate truth of the matter. With them you just won’t have that independence you seek.

So What Does Selling Leadific Look Like?

According to their webinar, if you’re a good fit for their partner program, they will give you Leadific to sell to small business owners.

It’s unclear what they mean by “if you’re good fit”…

We’d wager that really means “if you have enough money”.

But they’ll set up the appointments for you!

They claim 10-30 appointments and assume you’ll close at 20%.

What this doesn’t account for though is no shows or cancellations…

Let’s say best case scenario you get 30 appointments, if industry standards are anything to go off of, you’re looking at a 50% no show rate to these set appointments.

Which slashes down your money making opportunity to 15 calls per week at best. Of those calls you have to close 3 to hit that 20% rate.

Now closing 3/15 might sound super easy…but honestly explaining techy CRM stuff to business owners is a lot harder than Chance and Abdul make it look. Not to mention 15 shows would be best case scenario…

Either way most business owners only care about one thing and that’s “how do I get more leads in the door”.

That’s why digital real estate is such a great model. Business owners are looking for people with that skill.

They aren’t necessarily looking for people trying to sell them an CRM that they won’t even know how to use…

Something else that is unclear in the webinar is whether or not that 20% close rate is a requirement or not.

This is where we start to feel MLM like vibes.

Most MLM companies require you to first buy a product demo kit and then you must use that demo kit to go out and make sales. If you don’t hit certain numbers you lose your spot as a rep.

Other MLM companies will allow you to sign up for free and they’ll send you a kit. However, if you also don’t hit certain sales numbers, the company will run your card and you’ll pay for the kit yourself.

We say all this to ask the question:

Will Chance and Abdul charge you for Leadific if you don’t hit certain sales numbers for them?

Remember, just like an MLM…you’re now employees of Chance and Abdul and businesses have to be profitable right?

If they’re sending you leads and you’re not closing them, do you think they’ll keep you around for long without somehow getting their moneys worth?

Another tough thing to grasp from their webinar is how they present selling Leadific so easy as a beginner…

You see, the modern millionaire gurus might be able to sell something like Leadific really easily themselves because both of them use CRM’s on a daily basis and know how to navigate it for a prospect.

You however, would be selling a product that you really haven’t used or know how to use proficiently.

And if it’s one thing business owners can sniff out, it’s nervous people, and they know the only reason why someone would be nervous is if they don’t have confidence in the product itself or the ability to use said product themselves.

Either way, you’ll lose the sale if you don’t have full confidence.

That’s something we would have liked to see addressed in their webinar.

But at the end of the day they are still trying to SELL YOU into their networking business so we understand why they didn’t address certain points that may cause you some doubt.

No different than when a car company selling a fast car doesn’t tell you about the awful gas mileage…

So now that we’ve talked about their “money making app” a little bit, let’s jump into the actual modern millionaires training review.

What Is Modern Millionaires?

Modern Millionaires is a program that shows you how to start your own local lead generation business by using Facebook and Google ads.

Mainly, it shows how you can make a social media marketing agency. You’ll be producing leads via Google ads which they like to refer to as “online billboards”.

While the course does discuss different niches you can go into, the primary focus for this course is lead generation as your own business and developing passive income.

We’ll get into why it isn’t as passive as they say later on in this review.

Who Are The Creators Of The Modern Millionaires Course?

The names behind the Modern Millionaires are Abdul Samed and Chance Welton

Both are unknown in this internet coaching business.

Abdul and Chance have produced several businesses from scratch. Chance is productive in marketing and advertising, whereas Abdul is more along the lines of digital businesses, lead generation, and producing income.

Abdul and Chance complement one another nicely on this particular training course, and each of their skillsets brings something different to the program.

After I’ve done the research I’ve come to the conclusion that they’re not lying about the effectiveness of the business model….but I do question their ability to coach…

I question why Forbes actually showcased them, have they completed something extraordinary? No…

I suspect that Chance and Abdul purchased that section from Forbes and that’s why it’s no longer up.

What Is The Modern Millionaires Business Model?

This training course is based upon running Google ads for business owners.

Basically, you contract yourself out and help businesses grow via marketing. Not a bad idea at all…but does this specific course carry value? I have doubts.

What Is The Modern Millionaires’ Course Content Actually Like?

Module 1: The Foundation

Within the 1st part, everything is kept simple and beginner friendly. You are going to learn exactly how to start your business from scratch.

The primary focus because of this module is going to be on choosing your niche and also creating your agency site (including purchasing your domain name). This domain name is vital in getting clients.

Also, there’ll be a considerable amount of discussion on being in the proper state of mind for operating a business.

Essentially, this particular module is about providing you with the inspiration that you simply need to have to be successful in starting an online business.

Module 2: Prospecting And Sales

It’s in module two that they begin to get into the meat and potatoes of their program. Here’s a brief overview.

This module is kickstarted with a breakdown of what prospecting truly is. When that’s out of the way, you will learn the right way to research the market you wish to work in and learn a little bit about the way an internet CRM works.

The second part is extremely significant since your entire business model is constructed around prospecting the client and generating leads; and how you can control them.

After that, they talk a little bit about how cold emailing works. This is something that’s uncommon to find in other courses like it.

Many actually ignore the entire cold emailing thing.

Therefore, I see this as a benefit from the simple fact that the Modern Millionaires Course is prepared to discuss much more special methods to produce leads.

You’ll likewise find out how to prospect with LinkedIn, how to take payments, and also how you can finalize deals with clients that you’ve picked up.

The training skims over the offer finalization part, which happens to be a disappointment because this whole business model does fall back on sales and your ability to get your current clients to spend more with you.

This may be hard in case your sales game isn’t on point.

Module 3A: Driving Traffic With Google Ads

This is definitely where the meat on the course is. In this particular module, as the title indicates, you’ll learn how you can use Google Ads to generate traffic and in turn, leads.

This is most likely the most in-depth module I’ve seen so far on Google Ads, and the powerful duo leaves no stone unturned in coaching you are shown exactly what you need to know to produce leads from it.

You’ll likewise find out about exactly how Google Analytics works into the puzzle that is starting your own business successfully.

Module 3B: Driving Traffic (Facebook)

This mini module is very much the same as the main module, just this time; you’re going to be utilizing Facebook Ads to produce leads instead.

Module 3C:

The last module brings the previous two modules together.

In this lesson, you will learn the right way to develop those leads and, ideally, hand those off to business owners that will be a paying client for you.

Module 4: Auto-Pilot

The last module teaches all the automations you can put in place to make this passive. This talks about getting employees, training them, and so on.

Unlike other courses and programs that tell you to run the business yourself for a while before automations, Chance and Abdul encourage you to outsource as soon as you can.

I have mixed feelings about this.

On one hand, I think outsourcing is good and ultimately the end goal for anyone so they can have that time freedom they desire.

On the other hand though, I do think it’s valuable to run your business and know it inside and out before putting automations in place.

I am also weary of potential upsells being the reason why they push you to outsource. I imagine they might want you to outsource to them through their own white label agency.

Leading to even more money in their pocket.

At the end of the day though, I want to believe they have the students best interest at heart.

Can You Really Make Money With Modern Millionaires?

Yes, you may really make money after purchasing the program, but it’s still lacking in information and support.

In fact, as of writing this article, I’ve seen several customer complaints about the Facebook group having no activity and very little interaction with Chance or Abdul.

Of course, you can make money, but the cost of this course is just too much for the value received in my opinion.

But before that, let me clarify why this particular business model could really allow you to make good money.

The Good & The Bad

The Good:

The Modern Millionaires program was developed by Chance and Abdul, with each accomplished rather a remarkable quantity of success in their own individual labels. They’ve showcased in Forbes.

There’s no prior experience needed for using this program – you do not have to have a background in online advertising or even have any unique marketing skills already.

The business model of the Modern Millionaires (AKA Officeless Agency) is a viable and common-sense method to make money through Google Ads and Facebook Ads.

The training is of decent quality, and you could arguably receive your money’s worth.

The Bad:

The prices seem pretty high considering you get very little access to Chance and Abdul at best.

The expenses do not stop with the training – additional costs incorporate digital advertising on your own. You will have to pay everything yourself until you have a client offsetting your costs.

There’s no promise of success – you may never see your money again.

You will find hidden costs not disclosed during your assessment phone call, and it may be an extra cost of $300 to $400 monthly.

Understanding The Modern Millionaires Business Opportunity

The majority of the business owners don’t understand how to run ads.

They don’t understand the way to create a website and draw in visitors to it.

They’re way too preoccupied for all this.

I like the business idea – I just don’t believe in the coaching.

Does Modern Millionaires And The MMSaaS Income App Have Support?

Alongside the online training course, you can find many support systems. At least systems they’re supposed to have anyway…

The main support piece you’ll be a part of is their sales call with you. However after they have your money, that’s where support arguably seems to stop.

They promise a private Facebook group and some good coaches as well, but honestly, from everything I’ve seen so far online… it doesn’t look like that kind of support is available anymore.

In fact, if you paid attention to that webinar you may have watched before reading this, you’ll notice the dates of the coaches lap top date back to November of 2020…

Pretty outdated at this point I’d say.

Why not show us what your Facebook group looks like for this year?

I think that’s a reasonable question.

What Does The Internet Have To Say About Modern Millionaires?

Online, it seems as though Chance and Abdul don’t have the best reputation. They have some 5 star reviews online, but I’m personally always skeptical of 5 star reviews that are short and simply say something along the lines of “best course ever”.

Personally, I like to head over to reddit and see what the people have to say. In my opinion, the odds of fake comments/reviews are much lower.

Here’s what I found:

Of the multiple users on the thread, one says:

“This is definitely what we call a “bait” tactic. These guys are just trying to make more money off of other peoples naivete. If I were you, I would try to reinvent the focus of your husband on something more productive. Typically, things like these are simply just scams because in reality, people succeed due to a lot of variables that they can not control that end up going their way; therefore, can not be replicated again in the exact same way at the same time and at the same place.”

Not off to a great start…another user chimes in and says:

“DONT WASTE YOUR MONEY. This course isn’t a magic pill. And despite the shiny ads, becoming a millionaire isn’t simple or fast. If you are on hard times and don’t have a few thousand on hand to burn without it torching your household finances or wrecking your relationship, DONT DO IT. The “value” they offer isn’t worth the price tag. I’ve taken a course from these guys. They’ve changed the name now but the ad strategy looks similar. Being completely honest, I dearly wish I hadn’t given them my money. For all the millionaire talk, the course was not professionally filmed or produced – it looked like it had been shot on a desktop camera or iPhone. Except for a couple of ads – I mean, those have to look super shiny – gotta look like millionaires after all…Not that that’s a deal breaker by any means. Their support wasn’t super supportive. When I needed help, one of them was almost always on some epic hike or mountain climb (no cell service), and the other was frequently on vacation. Again, that’s not a deal breaker. But the content was meandering and repetitive and not edited well. Basic takeaways: little bit on FB ads, website SEO, Insta ads. The major gist, and one I had a huge problem with, was this: whatever you don’t want to learn or feel like learning bc you’re not good at it, go hire yourself a team on Upwork/Freelancer/Fiverr. And if you’re a complete putz like I was, you’ll put it on your charge card hoping somehow you’d hire right the first time and not have people literally eat through all your credit with little to nothing to show for it. If I had known that this was the advice I was paying for, I’d be a good $8k richer right now. Again, I wish I hadn’t spent my money. There are MUCH better courses out there. Hell, I’ve take MUCH better courses out there. I’m just mad at myself for taking this course in the first place and wasting the money I couldn’t really afford to spend. Listen – if you’re in a financially desperate situation, don’t be stupid – don’t buy this course! Don’t be me. Get a steady job somewhere, doesn’t matter where. Wait tables, pour coffee, bartend. Get your money situation STABLE. BE SMART. Slow and steady wins the race. Then, if you’re able to squirrel a little money away every month to pursue your dreams, do it that way! Don’t wreck your family, don’t ruin your relationships. Don’t buy this course and sacrifice all that. It’s not a magic pill. You’re only making a couple of strangers on the internet richer with YOUR money.”

That one was pretty rough, but informative. It also confirms the nearly $9,000 price tag I listed earlier. Maybe they give you a “fast action discount” of $1000 if you join on the call?

There is one positive comment though…

“I am part of the program and I can tell you its legit! I was sure it was a scam too until I decided to go for it and there’s all sorts of training involved, it takes a lot of work and time but they aren’t giving anyone money. They’re selling a business model that they teach and then you implement. I havent made my first client yet but I can say for sure its real”

While it’s nice to see a positive review, I can’t help but notice that they said they haven’t landed a client yet. Usually when people join something new, they are pretty excited. Right now I wonder if the user holds the same excitement despite no clients…

Is Modern Millionaires And The New MMSaaS Income App A Scam?

So, is Modern Millionaires and the New MMSaaS Income App a scam?

Not technically.

You can make money with this program, but it’s definitely not as easy as Chance And Abdul makes it sound.

There’s a ton of work to be done upfront, no real guarantee of success, and – most importantly – running an agency is extremely active income (NOT passive).

Now, there’s nothing wrong with front-loading the work and making the money later.

But if you’re getting into this game to live life on your terms, travel the world, and generate passive or semi-passive income from anywhere, then this isn’t for you.

What if, instead, you could put in a couple hours a day (in your spare time) to build a single digital asset, and your reward was a $500 to $2,000 payment that came in every single month?

And what if you could get started today and have your first payment in a week?

And what if you could double it next week?

Well, that’s the power of Digital Real Estate.

And, unlike a traditional ad agency, you can legitimately do this from anywhere. It’s a true lifestyle business.

Your laptop and an internet connection is all you need.

Some of the most successful students in this program run their entire 6-figure businesses from:

A camper in the middle of the woods

A beach chair on the water in Mexico

A small villa in Greece

They’re able to travel around, living their lives first, and focusing on their income second.

Because even if they stop working for an extended period of time, the money keeps coming in.

So adventure, memories, and experience are the top priority.

And they never have to worry about how to pay for the next trip, or consider asking for time off.

If this sounds more like the type of life you want to lead, just click here to find out more about Digital Real Estate.

How Much Does Modern Millionaires Cost?

According to their webinar, they currently have 3 different pricing tiers.

The first pricing tier is what they call their “DIY Package”.

This package is listed for $7,995.

In this package you’ll receive all the training videos, access to the private Facebook group, and livestreams.

You will not get one on one coaching however and are left to “do it yourself” as the name suggests.

The second pricing tier is what they call their “DWY Package”.

This package is listed for $12,995.

In this package you’ll receive everything you do with the DIY package, but additionally you’ll receive some smaller, more private group coaching from one of Chance and Abdul’s coaches.

This however, is still not one on one coaching and earns the term “done with you” as the name implies.

Their 3rd and final pricing tier is what they their “DFY Package”.

This package is listed for $19,995.

In this package you’ll get everything from the first two packages plus one on one coaching from a coach assigned to you by Chance and Abdul and the opportunity to sell their Leadific SaaS product by getting leads they generated, sent straight to you to close. They claim 10-30 calls per week.

So what do I think about all this?

Well to be honest, the pricing is fairly steep. And even at the highest pricing tier, you still do not get one on one coaching from Abdul and Chance themselves.

That is certainly disappointing in my opinion.

Instead, you are handed over to a coach that is promoted as someone who has their own agency that earns 10k per month…but there is not exactly any confirmation on that.

If they do run their own 10k per month agency and have decided to coach you, that’s great, but there is also the chance that they are just people hired by Chance and Abdul to hold your hand no different than college professors do.

And you know the old saying…

“Those who can’t do, teach”.

Ultimately my main issue with these different levels of pricing is that NONE of them provide that one on one interaction with Chance and Abdul.

You see them on the front end of their ads. Is that the last time you’ll ever see them?

How You Can Purchase The Modern Millionaires Training Course?

Unfortunately the only method of purchase for Modern Millionaires is to hop on a call with one of their sales reps after you go through their long webinar styled sales funnel.

If for whatever reason you forget what the price is, the sales guy will direct you back to the webinar and then tell you to call them back.

I think this is kind of ridiculous and comes off to me as that they only care about money.

I do not like it.

However, sales process aside, they use this call to find what’s best for your budget.

That being said, the more money you have, the more they try to push you to the higher priced offer where you are able to sell Leadific for them.

As a final note on the purchasing of Modern Millionaires, their sales process in my opinion focuses more on getting money out of your pocket and into theirs instead of focusing on educating you on digital marketing and properly starting your own online business.

Are There Alternatives To Modern Millionaires?

Yes, there are plenty of other business models to choose from if you want to pursue this making money online. Here are just a few:

Local Lead Generation

Digital Real Estate

SEO

Real Estate

Website Building

What Is Our #1 Recommendation For Making Money Online In 2023?

The ScamRisk team has spent months researching, reviewing, and vetting dozens of business models and thousands of programs.

While there may be no “perfect business”, the research IS conclusive:

Digital Real Estate is the #1 online business model for those just starting out.

Whether you’ve never made a dollar online, or you’ve been in this space for a while but never really “made it,” Digital Real Estate is for you.

Why?

1) It’s Flexible: got an hour a day? You can do this. Ready to drop everything else and dive in full time? You can do this. Yes, the more time you put in, the faster you see results. But even with a little time each day, you can move the needle in a Digital Real Estate business.

And because this system is so flexible, you don’t have to constantly be working to make more money. It’s called PASSIVE INCOME because if you stop working, the money doesn’t.

Imagine taking 3 months off to just tour around Europe, rent a cabin in the woods to write a book, hike the Appalachian Trail, or live on the beach and surf all day.

This is only possible if you have an income stream that’s not tied to your time.

2) You Own & Control EVERYTHING: With an ad agency, you don’t really own anything. You’re a hired gun for clients, and entirely at their mercy.

Sure, you own your agency, but if your business grinds to a halt once you stop working, all you really have is a self-created job.

With Digital Real Estate (a passive income stream), you own all the assets, which means you have all the power and all the control.

3) Little To No Startup Costs: It’s possible to get into Digital Real Estate with zero dollars upfront. Because, using the strategies outlined in this program, you can get a client to pay you BEFORE spending a penny out of your own pocket…even before you do any work.

Even without getting paid in advance, you can have your first Digital Rental Property up, running, and generating profits for less than $100.

4) Easy To Duplicate: Ok, here’s the best part: once you have your first Digital Rental Property up and running, you can literally DOUBLE your income with a few clicks, a couple keystrokes, and a single phone call (and you don’t actually need the phone call).

Remember: each Digital Rental Property is worth $500 to $2,000 a month in semi-passive income (over 95% profit). Every time you decide to create another one and increase your income, it gets easier.

Because you have more knowledge, more experience, more results, and more momentum.

If you wanted to double your income with an ad agency, you’d have to double your clients OR double the monthly payment of your existing customers. And, guaranteed that’s a lot harder than a few clicks and a few minutes of your life.

5) Make Money Helping Real People: This part is what makes it all worth it. With Digital Real Estate, you’re actually helping people by solving your clients’ biggest problem:

Small, local businesses need more customers, and with Digital Real Estate, you are unleashing a flood of happy, paying customers for these businesses.

You make money by helping them make money.

Not a big, faceless corporation either…a small business owner who’s using that money to put food on the table for their family, start a college fund for their kids, or take care of a sick parent. Once you see how Digital Real Estate makes a real impact in the lives of real people, you’ll sleep like a baby with a big smile on your face.

Now, the choice is yours. You could continue browsing, looking at opportunities like Modern Millionaires which could one day make you money.

You could continue researching, never making a decision.

OR, you could take a look inside, consider what you really want, and join a program that makes your dreams a reality especially if you put in massive and consistent effort. At the same time, joining a community of over 2,000 successful students that are living life on their own terms thanks to Digital Real Estate.

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iamjalen-unhinged · 1 year

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Before you read: This is a long post about my ex. I promise you I am not posting this for you to read, however if you do, enjoy the ride. If not it's really just to vent and let it go. The following will have grammatical errors, and spelling errors. I don't care, I'm currently high and venting. I might delete this, I'm not really too sure. But here goes...

I got with my ex in 2019, --my last year in college-- and it has been one of the most rocky journeys of my life. I won't get into everything, but to add context to the situation I will talk about some of the bull shit that went down, but please keep in mind, parts of the stories are left out.

First, I was cheated on while I was in another country. Mind you, I was in another country because I was jump starting my marketing career post college. What was supposed to be a happy and glorious moment, and time for me was partly ruined by the fact that I got cheated on. Mind you, the nigga gave the bull shit excuse of "I need to be by myself" and brokeup with me before I even found out about the cheating. It wasn't until a month after that, his friend slipped and told me he cheated on me.

Fast forward end of 2019 going into 2020, my dumb ass starts talking to him again, I went to visit this man a whole hour away from where I live and did so a few times. One time in the mix of partying and drinking, this man calls me the other niggas name in front of all his friends. That shit was wild (I was hysterical that night)

Now you may be thinking, why are you still fucking with this man after all this? but check my technique... it's hard to let someone go bro. Especially because he was the exact opposite of what I had before (you don't even wanna know about that emotionally abusive ass story). On top of that, I was doing off the wall shit too. I just never got caught.

So fast forward again, we've both kinda matured and are in decent places in life (mentally). We decide to be cool, and spend time together and shit like that.

Though this time around, I never put my guard down. Knowing this man and the past shit he put me through, I would never let my guard down with him again. Plus in the back of my head I never thought that us being cool and spending time together would become anything more.At that time I didn't want anything more from him or from anyone, but he brung a good nut and good times. We had also both agreed (he brung up the idea) that we would not fuck other people in fear of STIs and giving it to one another. Fair, right?

WRONG

Everything was going well up until this past summer. In June, this man comes around and tells me he's going to be celibate (Bull shit). I found out in maybe September that in July (right before my birthday)... Let's just say, he broke the agreement, and exactly what we wanted to avoid, ended up happening.

So here we are in October and now this guy has a whole new situation and tbh it irritates the fuck out of me for several reasons. But I'll only list the main 2.

The first reason is... Why didn't that nigga like me? Like we had great times together and it was nothing I wouldn't have done for him, so why no matter how hard I tried this niggas just did not want me!!! and that alone is such a hard pill to swallow because I internalize it when I know I shouldn't. But I genuinely want to know, why wasn't I good enough?

Second reason, BITCH aint no way you about to prosper with this ugly ass nigga (who has the same name as me) after you did me THAT bold. Like fuck you, I hope you and that nigga rot!

...

Now granted I left A LOT of shit out, so this post may come off as the "bitter ex" but that's okay, I'm almost at the end process of letting it go.

I myself have a person that interests me, and I actually do like the person. I hope with time we can actually make something out of it. Because at this point, bitch, I deserve to be happy.

Also (you might be mad) I actually still talk to him to this day. I thought about cutting all ties with him and I still can, however, I don't think it's really necessary for me to do all that. I still value the friendship we did actually make, and I do like spending time with him. As long as no feelings are involved, I will be fine. I'm mature enough to do that, I think

....

If you actually sat and read all of this, I love you and if you want a gift (I don't have anything to offer but nudes) DM me or even like this. Thank you for taking the time. Now back to your regular scheduled programming.

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alixdelcourt · 3 years

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Maybe other ones opinions matter more to you than ours

Pairing Katsuki Bakugou x female reader x Eijirou Kirishima

Genre : angst to fluff and comfort at the end.

WC and warnings : 1.5 k / Polyrelationship, Angst, feeling down, abandon, injury, mention of hospital and sedative. Please be careful reading this, and skip it if you're insecure or sensitive, you'll just get hurt. Please be careful.

Note : Hey everyone, I am back ! I am sorry, I wasn't on hiatus so I didn't warned you, I was just sick and trying to recover. And now that I am totally healed, I promise that I'll catch all your requests up quickly ! Today's work is @d3nk1x's request. I am sorry it took my like forever to achieve it, really sorry. I hope that you’ll like it, please let me know, and feel free to ask anything else. I kinda like your requests :)

Requests are still open, and since my college year is over, I am totally free to write whenever I want. And I am bored a bit, so please send many requests if you want, I will be happy to oblige !

The heart has its reasons which Reason knows nothing of… What was sure is that you loved them, from the bottom of your heart. But it wasn’t enough for you to be completely at ease with the relationship that you, Eijirou and Katsuki are entertaining. Well, such relations aren’t usual and you prefer to keep it for you. What would it be if people, even your friends, discover this part of your intimacy and feel free to criticize, or worse to judge you and to deprecate it… Would your ‘couple’ survive all of this ? You prefer not to take the risk. A happy life is a discreet one.

But, your significant others are not on the same page. Like, for the boys, you’re all adults and old enough to make your own choices. You chose them, you brought them together, so why couldn’t you assume this decision ? Why three people in love would be so odd ? This subject was the only point of contention for you, that comes up more and more often. Like tonight.

The three of you were in Katsuki’s room, for the usual nightly cuddles. To have some affection before going to sleep, each one in his own dorm room. For the other students not to notice, Eijirou is the first to leave, and after a couple of minutes, you follow him. But tonight, the guys made a big deal out of it. You argue, explaining again for like the thousandth time your position.

“I just… I just don’t feel comfortable with people knowing that I am in love with two guys. Maybe it’s okay for you to share the same girlfriend, but this isn’t was girls do.”

“And who cares about other girls ? They just don't know what they are missing !”

Eijirou winked at you, trying to make you laugh and give it all up as a joke, but you weren’t laughing. He sighed, and let your mutual boyfriend try. And he did. Like Katsuki really tried. He took your hand, and made you look at his crimson stare.

“Please, Y/n. Let us love you in full view of everyone. I am tired, we’re both tired of paying attention to our reactions around you. We just want to give you all the attention you deserve and the love you generate at any time, not bottling it up or botch it between two training sessions. I don’t want to hide anymore, because this means we’re doing something wrong. And we’re not. So please.”

He’s meaning what he’s saying, and you know it. Katsuki Bakugou ain’t one to beg, for anything. But even if this was the sweetest and the most romantic thing he has ever told you, you can’t overcome your fear. Which deeply hurt the boys in front of you. The ash blond haired released your hand.

“Maybe other ones opinions matter more to you than ours”

Usually, when he’s this rude, Eijirou stands up for you, but today he’s way too hurt and he agrees with Katsuki. Too many words jostle on your tongue, but none were sufficient for you to express how you’re feeling. With obvious teary eyes, you stand up and leave quickly before bursting in cries. You try to convince yourself that you’re feeling this way because they’ve been harsh on you, pressuring you like this, but you can’t fool yourself. Nothing hurts like the truth.

But you made it. You managed to sleep, and in the morning, you decide that you’re moving forward and as usual, leave the situation as it is. But you quickly notice that it’s not the case for Eijirou and Katsuki. When you went for breakfast, they were already done and heading to their own classes. Usually, you have your have your meals together and they accompany you before going about their business. Usually, Katsuki cooks in the morning, and you make the boys tea. Usually, Eijirou takes all of the bags on his shoulders because it’s manlier and ‘every little training helps’. But today was nothing like usual. You tried to avoid your paranoia during the whole morning, but you couldn’t anymore at lunch. They literally rejected you. In front of everyone. Maybe you finally ruined everything by yourself.

When you arrived to the cafeteria, you decided to wait for them before realizing that they weren’t late, but they didn’t wait for you. They were already eating with some classmates. Sero noticed you, lining up alone for your lunch and staring, with a troubled expression on your face.

“Why isn’t Y/n with you today ? The three of you are always together… Something happened ?”

“She decided that our company is no satisfying enough for her. We would not want to force her.”

You weren’t that far from them, and Eijirou’s hard words were sharp and loud enough to reach your ears. He said it that loud on purpose.

“I thought that you and her had a thing… Aren’t the two dating or something like this ?”

Katsuki growled at Denki’s curiosity.

“None of your business, you dumbass”

“I was asking Eijirou ! Of course, no one would date your rude ass”

“He’s right, Denki. Our love life is none of your business”.

No one could possibly ask anything after this, even if they took each other’s hand. They ain’t persons to take criticism. They just proved you that you can’t cut off people’s curiosity. You’re just not strong enough. So you ate alone, and reached the afternoon training late, sorrowed and unmotivated.

Since your two regular partners for training were sulking you, you paired up with Midoriya, who needed help for his frontal attacks. You were strong enough to repulse him sometimes, by putting all your frustration into your fight, and you were agile enough to avoid him when he was too strong. It wasn’t like your usual trainings, but it was instructive in that you were learning new things. And suddenly, just when your sadness has eased a little thanks to work, everything went so fast that you couldn’t understand. First, your eyes caught a familiar vision. Second, your turned your head to see that Katsuki was proudly and fiercely kissing a blushing Eijirou, that wasn’t ashamed to kiss him back. Third, your eyes went wide open, and your mouth in awe.

“… - SMASH !”

Fourth, everything faded away.

Before you open your eyes, you can tell that you’re in a hospital. The smell of disinfectant and the beeping of machines weren’t misleading. And when you opened your eyes, The memories came along with the severe pain. You remember… Izuku, Eijirou, Katsuki… Recovery girl… The hero trainer… The ambulance… The injury, the pain and the cries… The sedative… And then nothing. You got injured during the training, you weren’t paying attention and you received Izuku’s attack you were supposed to block or avoid with full force. If you were a villain, he would have neutralized you, which was the purpose of the training. He isn’t the one to blame, nor are the two who caught your attention. From the very beginning, you were the only culprit. And just when you were thinking of them, you heard Katsuki’s voice grunt behind the curtain that was surrounding your convalescence bed.

“We have to see her ! Oi listen you-”

“We’re in a hospital, quieter !”

“Please, doctor, let us see her. We are so worry, and we need to be by her side when she’ll wake up”

Eijirou’s pleading voice was trying to convince the relentless doctor.

“You’re not her family, I can’t allow you to do so. I am sorry, rules are rules.”

Someone, maybe Sero, intervened.

“C’mon, boys, there’s nothing to do but wait…”

However, they didn’t give up. Kirishima begging and Bakugou threatening almost made you cry. You struggled a bit, but managed to talk with a husky voice.

“Please let them in. They are my boyfriends. Please…”

The curtain was withdrawn in a hurry, and in a split second, the blond and the redhead were by your side.

“Y/N ! How are you feeling ! Is everything okay or are you-

“Don’t ever scare me like this again ! I might lose my mind if you ever-

They won’t let you get a word in edgeways, checking on you and their concerned eyes scanning you. You started crying.

“I am so sorry… I am so sorry that I was stupid enough to hurt you instead of overcoming my fear ! I don’t deserve you, I-”

Eijirou hushed to you, while carefully wrapping his arms around you.

“Shhhh… It’s okay now, sweetheart. We won’t talk about this now, and not anymore. Nothing is more important than seeing you happy and smiling…”

“Besides, all those who were waiting heard you… I am sorry…”

“What a plot twist ! Seriously, don’t be… I am not afraid anymore. Today was horrible, and I got more hurt by the truth then Izuku’s hit. I am not letting anything between us again. I love you, and nothing will stop me from doing so”

Katsuki took your hand in his, squeezing it against his heart and peppering it with kisses. Words aren’t for him, so he lets you know his gratitude in other ways. With a kiss on your forehead, Eijirou concludes.

“If it took you approaching death to realize it, you're more of a dumbass that he calls you so”

__________________________________________

Here is ! Please let me know if you liked it or not, and if you did like it, feel free to share so other people could enjoy it as well :)

@d3nk1x @i-heart-fictional-boys @skywalkerstyles (from which I drew inspiration for the polyrelationship, I totally love your work) @katsukichu @kirislilrock

Maybe I’ll try a real taglist… I just need to figure out how does it work…

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sugawara-sweetheart · 4 years

Text

𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 (𝔪)

(n.) to be cleared from censure or doubt, by means of demonstration

RA!oikawa x reader | 25/08

Warnings: face fucking, orgasm denial, spitting, masturbation, degradation

word count: 5.2k

part 1/12 of aphrodisia series

college is supposed to be the best three years of your life.

and it usually is. you’ve built so many memories here in the quaint campus town you’ve spent the past year living in. there’s the parties that stretch till the orange sun rises between pink morning clouds, music pounding in your ears and your body buzzing in drunken delight. there’s the amazing friends you’ve made with long, lasting connections that you can feel that strong emotional tie that bonds you together for life. there’s the coffee shop study dates, the night time adventures in the forests of thickly-knitted trees, your sight a whirlwind of bright, psychedelic colours and the satisfying warmth of passing a class and being one step closer to achieving your dream.

but good comes with bad. there’s times when you’ve been so hungry and scraped the ends of your purse, only to come up with enough pennies for a small packet of ramen to last you the night. there’s the overwhelming academic stress, assignments piling on assignments and marks scrawled on the front in angry red all looming over you like a heavy, grey cloud. and finally, the last of your problems came in the form of oikawa tōru.

you wouldn’t say devils belonged on earth but oikawa tōru was most certainly a demon from the fiery pits of hell- or rather RA hell. you often found yourself questioning what you did to the universe in your past life that was so bad that oikawa happened to be the resident advisor for your floor. he was likeable to everyone else, of course he was. he was handsome and tall and athletic, face chiselled and his big eyes a warm shade of brown, lips often tugged in a smirk that had girls swooning for him- and you knew that because your friends always insisted on hanging out in your dorm room, giggling as they caught a glimpse of oikawa as they passed by. but oikawa’s eyes would burn into you. you’d always feel them, raking over you when you’re leaving your dorm room in a tight dress for a night-out with friends. you’d feel them piercing into you when you’re at the campus starbucks and you always grimace when you’d see oikawa’s horribly sweet smile, sweeter than the pure syrupy frappucino he buys. you always hate how he wiggles his fingers at you, eyes crinkling with a grin you know is laced with so much cold hostility.

“y/n-chan, it doesn’t hurt to smile!” he sings at you whilst you curse him under your breath. but the worst thing about oikawa is that he has it out for you. he’s a predatory snake, slithering around for a chance to bite and whenever he can, he will.

this is where you are now. you stand in the centre of your room, arms folded tightly across your chest as you watch oikawa stalk around your space. you can tell he’s scrutinising your dorm room so carefully, peeling away as many layers of you as he can as his brown eyes gleam, narrowing at the photographs and postcards on your walls, smiling at the books scattered around, the pile of clothes on the floor. but he’s searching for more- maybe a candle amongst your beauty products and toiletries, maybe a corner of plastic carrying that white powder or green clumps sticking out from underneath your dresser, any pet fur or holes in the wall.

you’re trying to keep stoic, keeping your eyes fixated on oikawa as he spends his time peering into your bedroom but there’s still panic rising in you. you’re sure everything is in place- you brushed away all the cat fur off your bed from last week when you nursed a weak stray kitten back to health and your sealed packets of weed are hidden away in your sock drawer. there’s no way oikawa will find anything, even if he wants to. that nauseating panic dissipates as you see the sourness on oikawa’s face, his shoulders slouching as he turns to leave.

“bye now, oikawa. don’t come again.” you smile, chuckling at his scowl when suddenly he stops. you freeze as you notice that bright gleam in his eyes and the smile that stretches across. it’s the same look when he delivers a particularly hard serve in a volleyball match. it’s the look of winning.

“not so fast. what have we here, y/n-chan?” you stop breathing as oikawa strides across the length of your room to your wardrobe, his hand snaking into the slightly ajar door where he pulls out a can of gin and tonic, grinning proudly like he’d won a trophy. you swallow hard, a thick lump rising in your throat.

“that’s not mine.” oikawa frowns mockingly, feigning a look of confusion.

“oh really, y/n-chan?”

“yes.”

“so someone just broke into your room and decided to put a full can of gin and tonic in your wardrobe?” you wish it could’ve been a beer bottle, then maybe you could distract him and smash it over his big, annoying head. but you can’t so you grit your teeth, hands curling into fists.

“yes. i don’t know-”

oikawa cuts you off with his high, sardonic laugh that makes you growl quietly.

“come on, y/n-chan,” he looks so smug, making that hot anger tingle in you. “we both know this is yours. and it’s against the college rules and not to mention, illegal.” he sighs heavily, shaking his head slowly with little tuts. “it looks like i’m going to have to write you up.”

“oikawa…” you hiss warningly but he looks so utterly gleeful.

“you’ve had quite a bad streak already, haven’t you? what’s this now- the third offence?” you clench your jaw, the vein in your temple throbbing as you recall the two other times oikawa had written you up- once for a stupid candle you promised was just for decoration and the other for playing loud music just that one time. but this was much worse, a criminal offence and you remember how severe the dean had been the last time, how he told you if you kept making trouble, perhaps it’d be wise for you to find somewhere else to live.

you feel sick. your stomach churns and your hands tremble as you clasp them to your tight chest, trying not to feel nauseous.

“don’t write me up.” you say, hating the way your voice shakes. oikawa pouts and cocks his head at you, but he’s so insufferable, so mocking as he taunts you.

“it’s my job, y/n-chan. and some of us follow the rules.” he exhales heavily, shrugging but the corners of his lips are still twitching with a smile. “oh my, it really doesn’t look good for you right now. maybe you need to call up a realtor or check out some ads-”

“hey, don’t be so hasty.” you say, forcing a smile as you step closer to him. he regards you with interest, smiling further at your next words. “i’m sure we can settle this ourselves.”

“is that so?” oikawa smiles so widely, tossing the can into your bin carelessly. “well, what do you have to offer me?”

you hesitate. you’re the average college student and you’re broke, offering money would be a joke. you were both majoring in two vastly different courses, you couldn’t do his assignments for him either. free drugs? no, that’d be digging yourself into a deeper hole. you needed something quick, something easy but valuable- a one time thing.

you’re horribly aware of the way oikawa’s studying you, leaning against your wall so casually with a smirk and his hands on his hips. he looks so triumphant, so amused and you hate it. but you know how else he looks at you. you’ve seen how his eyes always darken, how they slowly rake over your body, taking in your curves and bare skin when you’re going out to a party. you’ve heard the way his breath hitches in his throat when you leave your shower cubicle in the morning just as he comes in from practise, your skin steaming and hair dripping wet droplets down the bit of cleavage that your fluffy bathrobe exposes. you know that despite the petty ways you and oikawa spite each other, he’s still attracted to you and…

what are you thinking?

you clench your eyes shut, rubbing at them as you try to comprehend the situation. it’s oikawa- the stupid, irritating, hellish RA or...it’s an eviction. it’s getting kicked out of convenient, comfortable college accommodation and having to find somewhere else to live in the middle of the academic year. not unless you did this. sure, oikawa was an insufferable man and you wanted nothing more than to make him choke on milk bread but you’d been with worse.

“i don’t have all evening, y/n-chan.” oikawa sighs, dismissively glancing at his nails. “so if you don’t have anything to offer, i’ll just write you up and be on my merry-” he chokes, spluttering as he springs up to his full height, eyes widening at your actions. “y/n-chan! what are you doing?”

you ignore the way the heat rises to your cheeks as you slowly unbutton your shirt, resisting the urge to shiver when the cool air meets your skin. oikawa’s scandalised, but he’s falling into the trap, his eyes looking so needy the way they follow your fingers, drinking in the view of your beautiful body.

“this is what i’m offering.” you say firmly even though your fingers tremble and your heart pounds against your chest. “come on,” you urge with a teasing smirk. “i’ve seen the way you look at me, tōru.” the way you drawl his name is the last step and oikawa completely falls into your trap. he steps forward quickly, his eyes fixated on your chest before they flicker up to meet your eyes and suddenly he’s leaning in.

“woah!” you cry, causing him to frown with confusion. “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“i’m obviously trying to kiss you- or do you always start off a fuck with a handshake?” oikawa looks amused, cheekily grinning as you growl. you don’t even reply as you grab him by the brown, silky strands of his hair and pull him into you.

the kiss is messy. and needy. teeth clashing together as you and oikawa kiss each other hungrily, small, little, breathy gasps escaping him as you slide your tongue between his lips. he tastes of mint and you hate to admit it but he’s a good kisser, almost eliciting soft moans from you as he peels off your unbuttoned shirt. he pulls you closer to him, one hand wrapping around your bare waist and the other snaking into your hair, tugging gently to peel your lips away from his. you feel dizzy and breathless as oikawa starts to trail open mouthed kisses along the column of your neck, making you shiver and gasp as he sucks in the delicate skin.

“don’t leave marks.” you hiss, pushing him away with a rough hand at his forehead, making him laugh.

“y/n-chan,” he teases, trailing a finger along your collarbone just to make you squirm. “let me just remind you that if you don’t want to do this, i can just write you up instead. would you like me to do that?” he’s vicious. he plays ugly and he knows that because he looks so pleased whilst you just exhale heavily, brow furrowed with anger.

“no.” he beams.

“good girl. now take off your bra.” you smirk as you reach behind, unclasping the lacy garment but not without shooting a remark.

“do you even know how to take off a bra?”

oikawa scowls but his retort dies on his tongue when you slide off your bra, revealing your bare chest to him. he’s silent, eyes carefully taking in your curves, the way your nipples pebble in the cool air before he steps close to you.

“so you can look pretty.” he teases, placing his large, calloused hands over your tits, drawing out a small gasp from you at the coldness.

“don’t act like you’ve not been staring at me for months like a dirty, little per-” you break off when he pinches your nipple, his face contorted in an angry scowl as you hiss through gritted teeth. his other hand moves up to your shoulder and with a strong force and fingernails digging into your skin, he pulls you forward.

“you know, this is supposed to be payment for me and it’s not that enjoyable when you keep speaking so either shut up or i’ll make you.” the hand on your shoulder is heavy as it pushes you down, making you groan as your knees bump against the carpeted floor. you look up at oikawa, grimacing at his leering smile before your eyes trail down, meeting the outline of his hard cock straining against his white sweatpants. you almost want to laugh.

“god, you really are disgusting, aren’t you, oikawa?” his face flushes with indignation and as you laugh, he pulls down his sweatpants and briefs. as his cock springs up, hard and twitching against his clothed stomach, you fall silent and it’s oikawa’s turn to sneer. he wasn’t the biggest, probably ranging around average but his cock had to be the prettiest, his public hair neatly trimmed and the tip red and leaking beads of precum. oikawa watches you carefully, biting his bottom lip as he wraps his hand around his length, stroking it slowly with soft pants rolling from his lips.

“you’re really annoying, y/n-chan.” he says, reaching out for your head with his spare hand. you wince as his nails scrape along your scalp, fisting your hair tightly before he’s bringing his cock to your face, smiling crudely as he taps the leaking head against your lips. “so it’ll be nice to shut you up for a bit.”

as you open your mouth to spit back a nasty remark, oikawa’s hips snap forward and his thick cock pushes between your lips, making you moan at the feeling of your mouth being so stuffed. oikawa groans, the grip on your head tightening and making the pain burn, tears stinging in your eyes. but you know why you’re doing this. you curse oikawa in your head as you slide your tongue along the underside of his cock, along the thick prominent vein that has the fiendish man choking on a throaty moan, and as he yanks your head back, you’re quick to swirl your wet muscle around the sensitive tip.

“fuck- look at you.” oikawa chuckles, his voice deeper with lust. “you look like such a slut with your pretty lips wrapped around my cock.” you frown, feeling that flicker of anger as you prepare to remove your mouth but he’s too quick. he grips your hair so tight, you can’t help but cry out, muffled by his weighty dick in your mouth and suddenly oikawa’s hissing as his hips snap forward, sheathing most of his cock in your mouth. “don’t be rude to me, pretty girl. remember why you’re doing this.” that’s the last he says before he’s fucking your mouth, pushing his length into your mouth till the tip snaps against the back of your throat, making you gag at the sudden shock. oikawa’s lost in pleasure though, thrusting in and out of your mouth quickly with his head thrown back and strings of moans and slurred swears rolling from his lips. you force your throat to relax, breathing heavily through your nose as you let oikawa use your mouth, ignoring the way the weight of his cock on your tongue aches your jaw. it’s degrading too, humiliating as he fucks you like a doll, balls slapping against your chin and you look like such a mess, saliva and precum dripping down your chin, onto your chest with tears streaming from your eyes. oikawa suddenly pulls out from you, pushing your hair away from your face as you cough up the saliva, letting it all drool down your face as you gasp for breath, clutching at your throat.

“you okay?” oikawa doesn’t look the least bit concerned as he pumps his cock, your saliva glistening off his skin and wet, smacking sounds filling your room as you glare at him through your teary eyes.

“you don’t think you could’ve warned me before you fucked my face, dumbass?” you hiss, your voice hoarse after oikawa’s cock abusing the back of your throat. he simply beams, eyes rolling lazily to the back of his head as he continues to stroke his dick.

“consider it a surprise, y/n-chan. come on, let’s go again and you’ll be a step closer to clearing your offence.” you glower at oikawa, nudging yourself closer to him and opening your mouth obediently for him to thrust back in.

he’s needier this time, both hands gripping your head in place as his hips snap forward fast and abruptly and moans bordering on consistent, loud, desperate whines, something close to a sob. but you don’t even think you’ll be able to tease him, not when he keeps fucking your mouth so hard and all you can do is focus on breathing, not choking on his thick cock. your eyes tear up with every hard thrust against the back of your throat and you try your best to swallow, to pull out more of those desperate whimpers from oikawa whilst spit just trickles down from the corners of your lips.

“you’re so much better when you’re quiet and with my cock down your throat.” oikawa chuckles, smiling at you with heavy-lidded eyes as he removes one of his hands to stroke your dick-hollowed cheeks. then the hand on the back of your head pushes you further, forcing you to take more of oikawa’s dick into your mouth before the tip is nestled in the back of your throat. you gag and choke around it, drool spewing from your lips so messily and tears leaking from your clenched eyes. but oikawa’s moaning and you hate to admit how pretty he sounds, even when blood pounds in your ears and his cock is so deep into the back of your throat. “i’m tempted to cum right down your pretty little throat.” oikawa sneers and your eyes suddenly widen, convinced he’s ready to release right then and there but he finally pulls away, panting as you gasp for breath once again.

“you’re not always so bad, y/n-chan.” oikawa says as he pulls you up from your knees. you scoff, wiping away the saliva from your chin with a scowl on your face.

“you’re always bad, tōru-chan.” oikawa doesn’t say anything at the way you mock him, instead opting to push you onto your bed. you glare at him as he tugs off his t-shirt and sweatpants, leaving himself completely revealed. you hate to admit how nice his lean, athletic body is, his milky skin and the muscles of his chest and legs attractive. but you don’t get much chance to admire much more before he pulls downs your shorts, leaving you in just your panties before he’s settling between your legs.

“i don’t think i’m so bad when i’m letting you redeem yourself.” he sneers. “unless of course, you’d be willing to be evicted- ow, y/n-chan.” oikawa winces when you tug at his hair harshly but his eyes darken and suddenly he stands up and shoves your shoulders, pushing you onto the bed. he hisses as he flips you over, making you lie on your stomach before he tugs at your ankles, making you kneel before he presses himself up against you.

“you know, y/n-chan, i was going to be nice and prepare you beforehand but you’re just being so rude to me.” he says, little breathy pants escaping him as he grinds his hard cock against your clothed core. “besides, i don’t even think i need to. you’re so wet and i haven’t even touched you yet.” he was laughing at you, his voice irritable and sardonic. you only growl into the bedsheets, hating the way oikawa was right as he kneels back, admiring the wet patch on your pretty panties. “how pathetic of you, y/n-chan. did you really enjoy me fucking your face that much?”

“shut up, crappykawa.” you hiss but you can’t help the little moan that escapes you when he presses his fingertips against the soaked patch, the little stimulation against your soaked folds enough to have you whining and pushing up against oikawa for more. he cackles, an actual taunting cackle.

“fuck, you’re such a needy, desperate slut, y/n-chan.” oikawa coos, pressing against your back and bringing his face close to yours. his hot breath lingered over you, making you shiver as his teeth scraped your ear lobe, big, calloused hands reaching to palm your tits. “you’re begging to be fucked, pretty girl. you’re whoring yourself out-” oikawa cuts off when you snap around to glare at him, exhaling vehemently and your voice a vicious snarl.

“i swear to god, oikawa tōru, if you don’t just get on with it, i’ll-”

oikawa yanks down your panties roughly, the cold air immediately hitting your soaked folds and making you moan softly. you’re desperate, cunt throbbing and you’re biting back gasps as his rough fingertips stroke your pretty cunt before he’s trailing them along to your clit. oikawa’s breath hitches as he rubs, hearing a little moan pull from your lips before he’s removing his fingers and you can feel him stroking his cock.

“so wet- is this all for me, y/n-chan?”

“well it’s not exactly like it’s for my sleep paralysis demon standing in the corner of my- the fuck?!” you hear oikawa chuckle mirthlessly and then a cold, wet globule lands on your folds, making you shriek as you feel the head of his cock prod at your pussy.

“did you just fucking spit on me?!” you yell, turning your head to face oikawa. he looks so gleeful, smiling so wide at you.

“that’s right. here we go now, y/n-chan.” you gasp, choking out into the bedsheets as oikawa pushes his cock into you. the stretch is deliciously painful, the burn laced with so much pleasure as he sheaths his cock inside you. he moans loudly as your walls clench around him, letting the veins of his thick length drag against your velvet walls till he bottoms out, gasping and gripping your hips tightly as his hips press against your ass.

“be a good slut and just shut the fuck up for once.” oikawa hisses, groaning with the stimulation. you scoff, a snarl hot on your tongue as your head lifts but oikawa’s too quick; he growls as his fingers grip your hair, pulling harshly at your head to push it back into the bedsheets. you groan, muffled by the harsh way he presses your head into the comforter. “there we go, much better.”

then he’s slamming into you. it’s relentless, thrusts fast and forceful, the whole bed shaking as oikawa fucks you hard and fast. the pleasure surges through you, so bittersweet as its entwined with the pain of the tip of his cock nudging your cervix and the burning of him fisting your hair so tight. you can barely even breathe, choked moans and sobs collecting in your comforter but oikawa doesn’t care. wanton moans escape him as he fucks you, the room filled with the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin, that sinful squelching.

it’s clear that oikawa isn’t focused on you, not with the way one of his hands grips your hip so tightly you’re sure there’ll be bruises, and the way the other forces your head down. this is just about him, his pleasure, his payment, his sordid bribe.

“so tight, y/n-chan.” oikawa teases, punctuating his words with harder thrusts that has him exhaling. “don’t you get some?” you want to snap back a reply but you can’t, your attempts at words just incoherent vowels choked with moans. it feels good, his cock sending shivers of pleasure into you every time he slams his hips into your ass but it’s not enough. you’re hissing with the frustration, your wet pussy squeezing tightly around oikawa’s length, throbbing as you need more. “so desperate, so needy.” he continues. “you’re clenching around me so tight. i didn’t know you wanted me that bad, y/n-chan.”

��fucking idiot.” you curse out into the bedsheets but oikawa takes your muffled mumbles as a chance to push your head deeper, making your back arch more and the new angle has him thrusting deeper, making the two of you moan loudly. but it’s still not good enough and without any stimulation at your clit, you won’t cum. but clearly oikawa doesn’t know- or maybe he doesn’t care with the way he fucks you solely for his pleasure. you move one of your hands between your legs, your body almost toppling but it’s worth it to rub at your clit, letting warm pleasure fill you. but it’s short-lived because with a large crack, burning pain sears through your ass cheek.

“did i say you could touch yourself?” oikawa growls. “it’s like you want to be written up.” you want to sob, so desperate for enough pleasure to b able to release all over his cock as he continues to fuck you. oikawa thrusts faster and sloppier, chasing his own high with loud, whiny moans rolling from his lips, the harsh grip on your head tightening.

“fuck, fuck, fuck-” oikawa gasps as his cock twitches and seconds later, he pulls out, moaning over your desperate whines before he cums, three hot spurts of cum landing on your back.

“oikawa, you fucking prick!” you shriek, kneeling up to face him as the cum clings to your skin. “you just came on me- without even getting me off!” it angers you more to see oikawa look so relaxed, a dazed smile lingering on his face from the aftermath of his climax as he pants, his cock already softening. “oi, shittykawa!”

“well, at least i didn’t cum in you.” he merely smiles with a shrug before he stands up, getting your tissue box. you glare at him, scoffing when he pushes you onto your stomach and wipes the cum off your skin.

“yeah but i’ve not fucking cum at all!”

you’re whining with desperation, your throbbing cunt so wet with your slick running down your thighs as you clench around nothing, almost grinding into your mattress.

“are you really this useless, shittykawa? i’m going to have to make myself cum because your stupid, good-for-nothing cock can’t do a job right?” you want the vicious snarls to make oikawa’s face fall but he only seems amused as he sits at the end of your bed, leaning back on his palms with a lazy smile on his face.

“well, i wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

you scowl as you sit up, turning to face him as you spread your legs, letting him see your pretty pussy glistening with your slick. you shudder, sighing as you begin to rub your clit, slowly building up the pace and not removing your eyes from oikawa’s hungry gaze.

“you’re so fucking useless.” you snap, gasping as the pleasure begins to build. it tastes so sweet, so satisfying as you dip your fingers below, sliding them through your slick folds. you’re so sensitive, so needy you can’t help but gasp and jerk at the gentle touch, eyes fluttering shut and a low moan escaping you as you slide one finger in, your whole body slumping against your headboard. it feels so good, pure, warm pleasure rushing through your veins as you pump your finger in and out of your squelching pussy, your walls so sensitive as you brush them. “fuck, my fingers do a better job than you.” oikawa smiles, tilting his head as he tears his brown eyes away from the way your pussy clenches around your finger to meet your eyes.

“really? so what, you think you can make yourself cum on your fingers?” you laugh, your chuckles mixed with gasps of pleasure as you begin to pump faster, inching your second finger towards your hole whilst your thumb rubs at your clit.

“of course i can- it’s you that can’t make a girl cum.” you’re panting now, pumping two fingers in and out of your cunt fast and hard before moving your other hand to your mouth to slide your tongue over the pads of your fingers. oikawa’s eyes widen as he watches you rub the wet fingertips over your hardened nipple, a whine pulling from your lips as you buck your hips with need. “this is how you pleasure a girl, you dumb fuck. you can’t even make me feel half this good!” you choke out more moans as you slide in your third finger, the stretch burning slightly but you’re so close as you bite your bottom lip. your legs quiver as you enjoy the way oikawa looks so drunk and needy watching you fuck yourself on your own wet fingers. “your cock could never reach this far.” you hiss with venom. the coil in your stomach is so tight, so ready to snap, just a bit more…

“do you even know where the clit is or are you just pure stupid?”

you’re laughing through your pants of pleasure as oikawa’s face flushes and he scowls with indignation.

“hey!” his humiliation was the final push over the edge and as you curl your fingers deep in your pussy, that coil snaps. you moan, back arching and vision going white as pure pleasures explodes through you, making you jerk and shake as you ride out your orgasm on your own fingers. you can feel oikawa’s hungry stare on you, his eyes widened as he drinks in every moment of your orgasm.

you pant as you remove your fingers, grimacing at the way they’re coated with your release. you’re about to reach for a tissue but stop, noticing the way oikawa’s staring at the glistening slick on your fingers. he’s needy.

“what, you wanna suck on my fingers? clean up all my cum?” you laugh as oikawa’s face reddens but he doesn’t refuse when you crawl towards him and kneel over him, smiling as you push your fingers into his mouth. oikawa’s brown eyes are fixated on yours, the hunger in him so evident as he sucks around your fingers, moaning at the taste of your release. you scoff as his tongue flicks at your fingertips, shaking your head at the insufferable man. “fuck, you’re so disgusting. dirty, pathetic boy.” oikawa slips his mouth off your fingers with a wet pop, scowling at you.

“you’re so mean, y/n-chan.” he whines yet there’s a hint of a playful tone apparent. “i’ve got half a mind to actually write you up, maybe also include how rude you’ve been to your poor RA.” he starts as you throw him his t-shirt, your eyes cold and angry.

“don’t fucking try it, shittykawa. now get out before i make you choke.”

oikawa sighs and laughs as he pulls on his clothes swiftly, picking up his trainers at the door as he ruffles his messy brown hair.

“let’s leave that for the next time you’re about to get written- sorry, sorry, i’m going!” the door slams shut as oikawa narrowly misses the hairbrush that you send whirling across the room.

taglist: @crushingonsuga

to be added to the taglist, please send an ask to @super-noya or myself

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bazzybelle · 3 years

Text

Happy Bisexual Day of Visibility!

In honour of this day, I want to share my story of coming to terms with my Bisexual Identity and learning to be proud of all aspects of it.

It took me a really long time to come to grips with the fact that I am bisexual. I grew up in a VERY traditional immigrant household. There were very rigid expectations placed on me from a very young age about what it meant to be a woman (we won't even get to how THAT fucked me up... that's a whole other box to unpack).

To be anything other than heterosexual, and a perfectly compliant wife was to go against the grain... And you couldn't have that...

I thought boys were cute. I liked boys. And I also liked girls. Back then, as a kid, I always just assumed it was like "oh... I wish I could be her... she's so pretty..."

I would see women on TV and think "They are just... so pretty. Their hair, their smiles, their eyes..."

Again... fully convinced that this was me wishing I could be like them.

I didn't have a term for any of these feelings... it just wasn't talked about. Why talk about being anything other than straight, when you didn't NEED to be anything other than straight?

So I carried on through high school, just having crushes on boys, gazing at girls, and fully convincing myself I was straight.

Then... then college happened.

I met a girl.

We became really good friends. I considered her to be one of my best friends at the time. She was tough and strong and so fucking funny. I wanted to spend every single day with her.

And whenever she would hug me, I would get a little flutter in my heart... in my stomach... in my toes.

We would cuddle... a lot... She would hold me and nuzzle me and kiss the side of my head and it just felt so... peaceful.

But no... I was straight! I still liked boys! This was just a really close friendship.

I still had crushes on boys, I still blushed when talking to boys, I still LIKED boys.

Didn't occur to me that I could like both.

At this time, I was aware of gay people, but bisexuality was still like a giant... "QUOI?" to me.

Eventually, the friend and I stopped talking. It happens, and it was painful, but that's the way life goes sometimes.

I went off to University, and got really into Women's issues and LGBTQ groups. I met a ton of friends who educated me, guided me, taught me that... yes... you can like both, and there's a term for that...

Ok cool... that's the end right?

Not exactly... It took several years for me to becomes comfortable with that term to apply it to myself.

(THANK YOU INTERNALIZED BI-PHOBIA)

It didn't help that amongst the friends I came out to, AND some members of these groups I loved... Being Bi wasn't enough.

I had to choose.

Was I gay? Or was I straight?

Choose!

Bisexuality is problematic.

Bisexuality is a phase.

CHOOSE!

Bazzy, you like too many boys to be really Bi.

Bazzy, being Bi will ruin your life.

CHOOSE! CHOOSE! CHOOSE!

And then to see representations of bisexuality in media being blatantly erased and unacknowledged... yeah... maybe I had to choose.

I chose to stay quiet. To keep my bisexuality locked up tight.

I chose to ignore that aspect of my identity.

Fast forward a couple years later...

I fell in love with my husband

He is the most wonderful person in my world. He matches me mentally, intellectually, emotionally... And I am CRAZY about him. I have never felt more comfortable with another person and he thrills me in every possible way.

And it took me SO LONG to open up to him about my identity. It took me trusting that he loved me and that he would accept me, to come out to him.

It was a time, finally coming out. Like me, he grew up in an immigrant household, so we had several discussions about what that meant.

In the end, I was right.

He loves me.

He accepts me.

And that's really all that matters.

...

I still think girls are beautiful...

And I still think non-binary and gender fluid people are gorgeous...

The same way I think guys are beautiful... and gorgeous.

My husband is the number one person in my life...

And I am still Bisexual.

#bisexual #bisexuality #bisexual day of visibility #personal

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carolmaximoffs · 3 years

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAIT OMFG i can’t believe so many of the coolest ppl in my life that i know are aquas. ily you’re NINETEEN that’s wild!! you know i love a good roommates or friends w benefits fic gimme gimme gimme 😗💜

a/n: THIS IS SO LATE AGH...here is your long overdue wanda x reader roommates fic, my love! so sorry for the wait, but thank you for your sweet words and your patience <3 @subtlebucky

pairing: wanda maximoff x reader

warnings: none really? maybe a curse. references to drinking, partying. jealous! reader. apologies to anyone named jillian, beck, or yasmine. sharing a bed, but not in THAT way.

WHEN YOU WAKE UP, you smell coffee already brewing. You stretch leisurely as you pad into the main part of your shared apartment, faux-flirtatious smile already gracing your lips.

“Smells good, baby!” You call. The laughter dissipates from your body as you pause in the kitchen doorway. Wanda is indeed sipping coffee in the kitchen, but is also standing between the legs of a tall, rather buff girl you’ve never seen before who’s perched comfortably on your island. “Oh.”

"Jill, this is my roommate, Y/N," Wanda says, perfectly at ease. You wonder if your eye really does twitch at the sight of Wanda's hand on Jill's thigh, but you pray it's just your imagination.

“Hi, uh, I didn’t - we’re not - hi.” Your face burns as you duck past them, reaching up into the cabinet for your mug before realizing it’s missing. You whirl around, about to ask Wanda, when you see it. And Wanda must realize it the same time you do, because she gives you this tight smile and wide eyes. Jill sips idly from your favorite cup, the one with the funny handle and your initial in rainbow gradient. Pietro, Wanda’s brother, had gifted it to you a few Christmas’s back - you know he’d have stopped Jillian from using it. Instead, you fill the most boring mug you and Wanda own - black, with a white outline of Sokovia in a red heart - and send your roommate a sour look. “I’ll just...”

You jerk your head towards the bedrooms, and stalk off. Maybe out of embarrassment, but mostly out of stubbornness, you pretend not to hear Wanda apologizing and making excuses on your behalf as you leave.

.......

Two weeks later, just when things are returning to normal, it happens again.

Well, more or less. It’s significantly darker out now, and this time you’re putting leftover Chinese food in the fridge when the door bursts open. Wanda all but falls into your apartment, a sharp-nosed girl with a deep violet buzzcut hot on her heels. Space Army Cadet and your best friend are hand in hand, the latter barely tossing you a glance as she drags her guest down the hall. And yeah, you’ve seen Wanda bring people home before - even brought a handful of people home yourself. Hell, one of you two’s closest friends was an ex of hers; oddball physics major, Vis, had been Wanda’s lover for the notable first three years of college.

Lately, though, you’d noticed this...pit in your stomach, carved a little deeper with each new bedmate. Every time you shook it off - it wasn’t any of your business what Wanda did in her free time. Was it because they were women? You catch yourself wondering, but no - you’d never had an issue with that, why would you start now? Shutting the fridge, you shuffle back to your room, turning your TV up to drown out anything from Wanda’s room next door.

The next morning, the eccentric friend is nowhere to be found, but you did find there was a severe lack of alcohol in your coffee as Wanda cheerily filled you in. Buzzcut’s name was Yasmine, she was in Wanda’s European lit. course, and they’d gone out for drinks to celebrate Yasmine nearing the acquirement of her masters. You stare into your cup and hum at all the appropriate points, choosing not to point out that it was only November and nowhere near graduating season. Maybe Yasmine was on the fast track - Wanda always did like the smart ones.

You become so absorbed in thought you don’t notice at first that your housemate has stopped chittering away. When you look up, it’s to a pouty frown. You shift in your seat, suddenly uncomfortable. “What?”

“Are you...okay?” Wanda’s frown deepens, brows furrowed as she brushes a stray lock of auburn from her face and folds her arms over her chest. “We...You’ve been a little distant lately, I guess.”

“I’m fine,” You say breezily, rising to your feet to dump the dregs of your coffee in the sink. Some irritating heartstring twangs at your tone - you hate brushing Wanda off, but what are you supposed to say? Hey, can you stop bringing girls home? I think I’ve caught homophobia. You repress a shudder at the mere thought as you move to sweep past her and get ready for your first class, but a small hand curls around your bicep.

“Just...don’t be a stranger, okay, kedvesem?” Darling. Swallowing the lump in your throat, feeling curiously parched, you can only nod. Wanda lets go, but you can feel her fingerprints burning like a brand even when you’re lying in bed that night.

.....

The holidays go off more or less without a hitch; there’s a very scary hiccup shortly before Christmas when you come home to find Wanda curled into Vision’s side on the couch, the pair of them sharing a blanket. But Wanda looks...as if she’s been crying? Love Actually is playing, Wanda’s go to Christmas comfort movie, and Vision is texting someone called ‘Peter M.’ with an alarming number of heart emojis, so you continue onward.

Your subconscious must be looking out for you otherwise, because it’s not until New Year’s that you see Wanda with a mystery lover. Actually, you don’t see much of Wanda at all outside of Christmas, and even when you do, it’s always just the two of you at home. Of course, because of this, she insists on dragging you out for a New Year’s party. When her twin, Pietro, gangs up on you via Facetime, you give up arguing and steal a shimmery black slip from Wanda’s closet before flipping them the bird.

Pietro arrives around 10 to pick the pair of you up, obnoxiously laying on the horn outside of your apartment building. Wanda trips several times as she tries to shove on her other heel and put lipstick on at the same time. Making it out the door is a whole other ordeal - after a short spat about Wanda needing a jacket, an awkward moment when the elevator doors open on some neighbors practicing for midnight, and finding Pietro just about to buzz in to get you, you and Wanda are sliding into the backseat of Pietro’s obnoxiously cramped sports car.

“Ladies, your prince, or princess, awaits!” Pietro announces grandly as you pull up to a shabby loft just a few blocks away. You can hear the music from the street, sighing inwardly as you force yourself to get out of the car. Wanda smooths out her flowy black pants - you keep your eyes trained politely above her shoulders to ignore the fitted, maroon sequined top with the plunging V-neck she’s paired with them.

“I’m actually meeting someone here,” She says casually to her brother as the three of you make your way in. Pietro waves her off with well-wishes, but throws you a questioning glance. All he gets however is a shrug in reply, this is certainly news to you. He accompanies you to the makeshift bar where you fill a cup with copious amounts of liquor. It usually wasn’t your vice, but the strobe lights alone could be cause to drink. You made a mental note to ask whose idea this party even was in the first place. when you turn around, though, Pietro, too, has slipped off into the crowd.

So you do what one is supposed to do at sweaty, too-loud functions such as this one - push yourself from your comfort zone, get comfortably tipsy while you wedge yourself into the mass of bodies and move with strangers. As mentioned, liquor and strangers have never been favorite pastimes of yours, so once you finish off your second drink (maybe third - you deserved it), you set out searching for Wanda. Her glittery form is tucked into a corner with a small group you don’t recognize, but you definitely note that she’s in the lap of a tall, dark, and handsome type. She spots you before you can get to her, making excited grabby hands as you get closer.

“Y/N!” The bubbly young woman squeals over the music. She leans forward to be heard better, and you gulp. “This is Beck! And Jade, and Marcie, and you remember Yasmine!”

You offer only a wave and tight smiles as you, too, lean in further. “I’m gonna get an Uber!”

“What?” Wanda pouts dramatically, Beck snaking an arm around her waist to steady her as she jolts back in disappointment. “It’s not even midnight yet!”

“No, I know, I’m just not really feeling it, I guess!” Yasmine leads over to whisper something to Jade; it’s the furthest thing from your mind as Wanda reaches out to squeeze your hands understandingly.

“I’ll see you later! Kisses!” You repeat the word weakly before shoving once more through the mass. The sidewalk and cool bite of the outdoors is a welcome respite - your driver doesn’t speak all the way to your apartment, and you give them 5 stars for it. After a cold, quick shower, you curl up in your fuzziest bathrobe with a cup of coffee and flick through Netflix. You know when midnight rolls around when the neighbors upstairs, hosting a party of their own, cheer and shout to each other. It can’t be 20 minutes later that your door is met with a tentative knock.

On the other side is Vision in the most disarray you’ve seen him in - he’s in pajamas, for Pete’s sake, hair and glasses askew over a chunky knit sweater. He’s supporting an equally-bleary but much more drunk Wanda, and passes her to you with a wrinkled nose.

“Y/N!” She crows, dissolving into giggles as you shushed her. “I wondered where you went.”

“I told you I was coming home, bubs,” You mutter, hugging her back briefly before you notice Vision is still standing in your entryway. “Hey, how about you go get changed, and then I’ll make you some eggs?”

Wanda agrees, talking animatedly even as she walks away. You look back at Vision, smiling wearily. “Thanks for bringing her home safe, Vis. Did you want a cup of coffee, or...?”

“No, thank you,” Vision quips, polite as ever as he tugs his sweater down over his hands. He jerks his dimpled chin the direction Wanda had disappeared in. “Take care of her, please.”

“Of course,” You reply, instantly, brows furrowing. He nods briskly before turning to leave. “Thank you again.”

“Of course. Goodnight.” He’s almost to the elevators when you call a ‘Happy New Year’ after him, and that earns you a smile. “Happy New Year to you as well, Y/N.”

Back inside, you find Wanda spread eagle on her bed in mismatched socks, an old college hoodie, and the same underwear you’re pretty sure she wore to go out tonight. You poke her heel and she makes a frankly unhuman gurgle into the duvet. “How much did you have?”

“Nah a lah,” Is her muffled reply. “We’on dwink anymo’.”

You realize she’s right, though you figured she was at least taking some of those dates to bars. Maybe not, though - Wanda was always a romantic. You push the mere though away and tug at the arm closest to you. “Yeah, I know. You’ll feel better if you eat something, though.”

Her protesting grunts are less effective than when she kicks out blindly, narrowly avoiding your hip, and you huff. “Fine, I’ll bring the food to you.” You make to leave, but she’s captured your wrist now. Wanda turns her head to make powerful puppy eyes at you. “Stay. Sleepy.”

“I...yeah. Okay.” You were still a little tipsy in your own right - neither of you were college kids anymore, after all. Wanda’s smile was blinding as the pair of you made your way under her numerous layers of blankets. When she turned the lamp off, you wondered if she could hear your heart thundering in the dark.

“Y/N?” She whispers, just when you think she’s fallen asleep.

“Yes, Wanda?”

“I love you.”

You hum in acknowledgment, brushing it off as dreaming.

--------

Midday, you’re roused by someone laying across your stomach and shaking you awake. It’s Wanda, long lashes fluttering prettily as she rests her chin on folded elbows. You scrub sleep from your eyes as you croak, “Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning, Y/N.” She says your name with purpose - sort of always has, you realize. You’re running over last night in your head, and like a mind reader, Wanda answers your every question. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Still love you.” Wanda murmurs. You meet her gaze - completely clear, if not a little glazed over with absolute adoration. She pushes up a little, lips hovering over yours. They brush just barely when you speak, sparking like live wires.

“I love you, too,” You breathe, and finally, finally, she kisses you.

Things make so, so much more sense then.

#multiverse level: wanda maximoff goes on a date w/ beck from victorious #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff angst #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff one shot #carolmaximoffs #wanda x vision #vision

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augustmoon259 · 3 years

Text

"Unholy Blood" Pureblood!Fem!Vampire Reader x Hayan Park

Ten years ago, people who could transform into vampires began to appear in Korea. Ever since then, these morphing vampires have been slaughtering people while hiding their true identities. But there's something that people don't know. A secret, that if it got out, would change the world and the way that people saw vampires forever.

Pureblood vampires. Vampires who are stronger, faster, and more powerful in every way. How do I know about them? Because I am a pureblood vampire.

o - o - o - o - o

My parents were both pureblood vampires. They used to live in Korea, before they had me. They decided to move to the US and settle down in a small town.

My life was a peaceful one. Sure, it was hard trying to hide my identity as a vampire, but it wasn't that bad. I was homeschooled, up until I was ready to go off to college.

College was a new experience for me. I had fun making new friends, taking classes taught by different teachers, and being in a new environment. I went home to visit my parents during breaks.

I wish I had gotten to say goodbye to them, if I knew that I'd never be able to see them again.

o - o - o - o - o

It was winter break. I was excited to see my parents again and spend time with them during the holidays. I had plans for movies we could watch together, games we could play, and more.

The bus stopped in my neighborhood, and I got off, still brimming with anticipation. That is, until I saw the smoke.

The smoke was coming from the direction of my family's home. I ran there as fast as I could. When I got there, I saw the firefighters putting out the last of the flames.

Our house was a complete wreck. I frantically rushed past the onlookers and firefighters to dig through the rubble, and search for my parents. I was dragged away, still screaming and sobbing.

Later, the police told me about what had happened. It was reported that two explosions were heard from our house, and then a fire started not long after. The firefighters were dispatched, but it still took a while for them to get from the station to our house. They found my parents' bodies, unrecognizable as they were.

The explosions were written off as gas leaks, since our house was an old one. This may have been a reasonable explanation to anyone else, but not me. I knew better.

We were pureblood vampires.

Any regular vampire that manages to consume the heart of a pureblood vampire would become a pureblood vampire themself. We knew this, but we thought we were safe here in the US, when vampires began to appear in Korea ten years ago.

My parents must have sacrificed themselves to destroy their hearts, along with their attackers.

Our mailbox still had some mail in it. Bills to pay, letters for my parents, and letters for me as well. I expected this. What I was not expecting was the note left in the mailbox, addressed to me.

If you want revenge for your parents' deaths, come to Korea.

I crushed the note in my hand.

Whoever came after my parents didn't succeed, but it cost my parents their lives. Now they're after me. They know I exist.

Fine. If they think I'll be easy prey, I'll prove them wrong.

o - o - o - o - o

Living in Korea was different from living in the States.

I had applied to study abroad, and the university I applied for was Hanguk University. I managed to rent an apartment at a decent price in a modest neighborhood. I heard that there was a nice church in the area, run by a priest who also takes care of orphans from the nearby orphanage.

It was hard enough adjusting to life in another country, never mind one where bloodthirsty monsters come out at night. Lucky for me, I had the distinct advantage of being one of those "monsters".

Admittedly, not only did I feel guilty for not being able to prevent my parents' deaths, I realized what a privileged life I had been living. All my life, just on the other side of the world, there were innocent people being terrorized by vampires.

But now I'm here, and I have the power to do something about it.

I'd find whoever was responsible for my parents' murders, and I'll rid the world of vampires, one bastard at a time.

Between going out at night to kill vampires, and scrounging up information about their secret hierarchy and criminal underworld, I was also busy with my normal, "human" life.

I attended the orientation for my new university.

Yet it wasn't at the orientation that I'd meet the woman who'd change my life.

o - o - o - o - o

The first day of school was always the same: new students rushing to find their classes, old students saying hi to their friends, and teachers making note of who to look out for that year.

I greeted a few people I had met at the orientation, but there was one girl who was going around greeting...everyone. She was quite pretty, with dark brown hair and eyes.

She was so enthusiastic, bowing her head at every person she came across, that I couldn't help but smile.

With her friendly demeanor, I was sure she'd already have made plenty of friends, but I noticed later that she had no one to sit at lunch with. I myself was sitting alone, but that was of my own volition. I debated whether or not to go to her table and sit with her, but I opted not to, in the end.

Over the next few days, I kept seeing her around. She still greeted everyone cheerfully, and had earned the nickname "Miss Popular" around campus. I found it very fitting for her.

Things continued on like this. Her, greeting everyone with enthusiasm but sitting alone. Me, silently watching her.

I decided that I had done enough observing, and that it was time to formally meet her.

Bringing my lunch with me over to her table, I sat across from her. She had started eating her lunch by then, so when I unexpectedly arrived at her table, she choked on her food.

"Hey! Hey, are you okay?!"

I got up from my seat, prepared to do the Heimlich maneuver if necessary, but she waved a hand to stop me, and grabbed a nearby water bottle with the other hand to drink. She beat her chest a few times until she was no longer gasping, and I sat down when I confirmed that she was fine. Other people who had noticed the incident went back to eating their lunches.

We sat there, awkwardly gazing at each other, until she groaned and covered her face with her hands in embarrassment.

"Nice going Hayan...first person who decides to sit with you at lunch, and you make a fool of yourself..."

"Oh no, that was my fault! I'm sorry for surprising you like that...so, uh, your name is Hayan?"

Hayan took one hand off her face, before slowly removing her remaining hand.

"Yes, my name is Hayan...Park Hayan."

I introduced myself, and then we...shook hands. I decided to start a new topic of conversation, before Hayan had an existential crisis.

"Hayan...is it alright if I call you Hayan?"

She nodded her head affirmatively before waiting for what else I had to say.

"I hope this isn't out of line for me to say, but I've sort of been watching you for a while now. I notice that you always say hi to everyone, but you're still sitting alone at lunch? Um, Hayan, do you have friends?"

Hayan looked taken aback for a moment, before hanging her head in shame.

"It's...it's complicated? I've been trying to make friends, and since I didn't attend the orientation, I thought saying hi to everyone would be a surefire way to meet new people, but I haven't had much luck..."

"You didn't attend the orientation? So that's why I didn't recognize you. Hayan, if you're trying to make new friends, would you...like to be friends?"

"Seriously?! I mean, how could I reject?!"

Hayan enthusiastically slammed her hands on the table and jumped up, before sheepishly sitting back down when she noticed people's curious glances.

"Yes! Let's be friends!"

I talked with Hayan until lunch was over, and it turned out that we had a lot in common. Neither Hayan nor I were able to finish our lunches, busy as we were with chatting with each other. We decided to exchange phone numbers to keep in touch with each other.

After that, I wasn't occupied with just school and my nighttime activities. I hung out with Hayan outside of school. We went to cafes and coffee shops to get drinks and spend more time with each other.

She and I were the same age: twenty. When I applied to Hanguk University, I had to apply as a freshman, since not all of my credits from my previous college transferred over.

Hayan was looking forward to a get together that some seniors had organized at a pub. Students from every year would be there, and she hoped to meet other freshman besides me. I wasn't one for drinking, since vampires couldn't get drunk anyway, but I decided to go for Hayan's sake.

Gatherings of college students tend to go south pretty quickly, but it was what happened after that was a disaster.

o - o - o - o - o

The pub was crowded, noisy, and filled with the laughter and shouting of overexcited young adults.

I sat down at a random table with Hayan. When we sat down, I heard someone suggest a drinking game to lighten the mood. Next thing I knew, we were all pointing fingers at each other, and Hayan was the unfortunate person chosen to drink.

Two hours and several more drinking games later, Hayan was still unsuccessful at making another friend. I was surprised to note that Hayan was not a lightweight at all. She had drunk nearly twenty bottles of soju by herself! And If I was being honest with myself, I thought that made her even more amazing than she already was.

"Hayan, do you want to go home now?"

"Ah, yeah, I guess so...It seems my latest plan to make friends failed..."

In my head, I could see the comical tears of defeat in her eyes.

Hayan got up and grabbed her bag, but before we left the pub, a senior announced one last drinking competition. It was between a heavyset senior named Jang and anyone who dared to challenge him. If no one won, the freshman had to show off a talent during our start of year trip.

I knew what was coming before anyone else. I decided to take bets, and when the drinking match was over, I made a nice one hundred thousand won from people who had bet Hayan would lose.

Actually, calling it a "match" would be wrong. It was so one-sided, I almost felt bad for Jang.

Hayan finally got her wish granted. I saw two freshman asking Hayan for her number to join their study group. As I looked at Hayan's giddy face, and the admiring expressions of everyone else around us, I felt happy for Hayan.

Just when Hayan was making a toast to her victory, the sirens went off.

The joy of everyone around us immediately died out, to be replaced with worry and fear instead.

People scrambled to gather their belongings and leave the pub, and I hurried over to Hayan's side.

"Come on, Hayan. We'd better go. The sirens mean that vampires will be out soon..."

"Right! Um, let's go!"

We left the pub, prepared to follow everyone else in order to catch the last bus.

"Hayan! Let me walk you home!"

Before I knew what was happening, there was a random guy standing in front of Hayan. He completely ignored me. If that wasn't enough to piss me off, his condescending smirk and the arrogant way he held himself did. Let me guess, this guy's one of those idiots who try to act macho in front of girls to impress them.

"Um, no thank you. I already have a friend I'm walking home with..."

"A friend? Sure you do. Come on, what are you so afraid of? Me?"

"Hey buster, back off. She already said she's got someone to walk home with!"

I shoved him away. As he recovered from my unexpected interference, he quickly masked his anger with the same infuriating smirk. He gave me a once over, before his smirk widened.

"So this must be the friend you mentioned. Well, I can always walk you both home."

Great. Just great. Not only is he wasting our precious time, he's hitting on Hayan and me.

"Tch. Fine. Clearly you're invested in walking with us, for some unfathomable reason, so I'll deign to let you join us, but only if I'm between you and Hayan."

He seemed to be more interested in Hayan than me, so I thought putting myself between her and him would get him to stop talking. Instead, he kept blabbering on about how vampires are no big deal, and there's nothing to worry about.

He's extremely lucky that we finally made it to the bus stop. Otherwise, I might have punched him.

There were some people running to get on the bus before it left. The annoying guy was still flirting with Hayan, but my attention was diverted when I heard a crash. The three of us turned our heads toward the source of the noise.

It was a man who had been thrown on the ground. The other man standing above him was obviously a gangster, a loan shark out to collect his debt. My intuition told me something bad was going to happen, and not because of the loan shark.

Sometimes, I hate being right.

It happened faster than the human eye could see, but I could discern perfectly with my vision. The man on the ground thrust his arm straight through the loan shark's chest.

As he stood up and shoved the now dead body off himself, the vampire walked closer step by step to Hayan and I. The annoying senior had long run away. He really was just a coward in the end. I would deal with him tomorrow. Right now, I had bigger things to worry about.

Normally, I'd just transform and then kill this no-name vampire, but I had to worry about Hayan. She was digging through her bag, looking for something. If only the bus was still around. Then Hayan could have run away and escaped.

I made a split second decision.

"Hayan. Listen to me. Run away as far as you can and don't look back."

"What? But, what about you? I can't leave you here alone!"

"Damn it Hayan, please just run away!"

"And where do you think you're going, bitch?!"

The vampire lunged towards Hayan and grabbed her hair. Before he could bite her, I transformed and slammed him to the ground. I smashed his head in, and watched as his body scattered into dust.

With the immediate threat out of the way, I checked on Hayan. She had fallen on the ground when the vampire let go of her hair. I helped her as she stood up weakly. Hayan blinked, as she alternated between looking at the crater where the vampire used to be, and me. I spread my arms out to either side, and gazed steadily back at her.

"This is me. This is who I really am. I'm a vampire, a monster that people want dead. Hayan...do you hate me too?"

I waited with bated breath for her answer. The truth is, I could erase her memories. Make it so she never remembered what happened this night. But I didn't want to.

Ever since my parents died, I had no one else who knew the truth of who I really was. I was good at pretending. I've been doing it my whole life. But I needed just one person I didn't have to pretend with, and I hoped that person could be Hayan.

Hayan studied my white hair and blue eyes. She looked pensive.

"No...no I don't hate you. Because you're my friend."

She hugged me, and if I noticed that her hold was tighter than normal, I didn't mention it.

"Hayan...thank you."

I hugged her back.

We remained like that for a while, until I offered to take her home.

"Wait, you want to...you want to carry me?! In-in your arms?!"

"Well, yes. I could also give you a piggyback ride, but since I'll be running and jumping on rooftops, this should be more comfortable for you."

"O-okay."

Putting one arm under Hayan's legs, and the other supporting her back, I made sure Hayan was securely in my hold when I leapt from the ground. Hayan kept her eyes closed the entire time, until I landed with a thump in front of the church.

"Good night, Hayan."

I smiled softly and gave Hayan a small wave, before hurrying home.

o - o - o - o - o

Hayan and I grew closer after that night.

Since I no longer had to pretend I was human around her, I invited her over to my apartment, and vice versa. She introduced me to her "father" and her "siblings".

"It's nice to meet you sir. I mean, Father Michael. Um, Father-Michael-sir?"

As it turns out, Hayan was an orphan. I knew she lived in the same neighborhood as me, but not at the orphanage next to the church that I heard about when I first rented my apartment. The neighborhood ladies were always giggling about Father Michael, but he was more intimidating in person, even to a pureblood vampire like me.

"At ease. You're the friend Hayan has been talking about?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Hayan was fighting back laughter behind me, while I kept on sweating nervously.

"It's good she has a friend like you."

"Thank you, Father!"

I barely held back a sigh of relief that I seemed to make a good impression on Hayan's adoptive father. It was time to meet the younger siblings now.

"Woah! This is all for us?!"

Hayan's adoptive siblings, Yerim and Yunsu, bounced around eagerly when they saw I had brought bread for them. Hayan told me her siblings really loved bread, especially sticky rice bread. I had bought a couple for them from the school dining hall, and then went to a bakery to buy some more bread (mochi, sesame, tapioca, etc.) Since I couldn't eat any of it myself, I bought what was recommended to me by the baker, and hoped for the best.

"Hayan! You need to bring your friend by more often!"

"You are my new favorite person!"

"I thought I was your favorite person?!"

I chuckled as Hayan chased her siblings around in order to catch them and tickle them.

Hayan has such a lovely family. It's no wonder she's also a lovely person.

o - o - o - o - o

It was a normal evening at the university. I had stayed behind at school to work on homework and assignments with some classmates.

The student body was abuzz today with new gossip about the "super senior". He was the senior who had entered college nine years ago, and still had yet to graduate. This was none of my business. What was my business was that he was rude and a bully. In fact, just that afternoon, he had bumped into Hayan and insulted her instead of apologizing. If I saw him, I'd give him a piece of my mind, regardless if his family was well off or not.

After finishing our assignments, I accompanied my classmates on their way to get the last shuttle bus. To my displeasure, we had the misfortune of running into the aforementioned "super senior" Byungsu.

My classmates greeted him, but when he gave them no reply, they said goodbye to me and ran off to catch the bus.

I noticed that he seemed to be in a daze. Hayan did tell me that it seemed like he was sick, and looking at him now, I could tell that she was speaking the truth. Regardless of any beef I had with him, if he was feeling unwell, he should go see a doctor.

"Hey, Byungsu. Do you need to go to the hospital?"

He didn't answer, instead just glaring at me, and clenching his fists. Whatever was going through his mind at that moment was not pleasant. I wanted to ask him more questions, but we were interrupted by a man on the phone.

It was Professor Donggyu Park. He was not one of my professors, but Hayan said he's one of her favorites. He's very dedicated to his job, has memorized all of his students' names, and even speaks to students on days he doesn't teach. It looked like he was in a hurry to get home, judging by how he greeted us quickly and then got into his car.

I was too late to stop what happened next.

Byungsu threw Professor Park's car into the air. It flipped over and landed on its top with a crash. I dashed toward the car to check on Professor Park. He was bleeding from his head and unconscious, but he was still alive.

I was the one who was clenching my fists this time. Well, I had the perfect target to vent my anger out on.

This side of the school was deserted at this time of the night, and the security cameras were down for maintenance today. With no one watching me, I could kill Byungsu.

He was heading this way, no doubt to murder the professor.

I opened the car door, gently took Professor Park out, and placed him on the ground. Then I transformed.

"What the fuck, you're a vampire too?"

"Shut up. You won't be alive for long anyway."

My hand was enveloped in blue flames as I disappeared and then reappeared in front of Byungsu. I grabbed his face, and watched as it melted away. The fire burned everything and left nothing behind, not even ashes.

After de-transforming, I performed first aid on Professor Park and called 119.

When the ambulance arrived, I was questioned by police officers about what had happened. I told them the fake story I made up: I was with some classmates on their way to catch the last bus home, and then we ran into Byungsu. I went back inside the university to get something I had forgotten. When I came back outside, I saw Professor Park's car turned over and him inside unconscious.

I was held in questioning until the police contacted my classmates to confirm I was with them. Professor Park woke up after receiving emergency medical attention, and told the police he had also seen Byungsu. That, coupled with the sudden emergence of footage showing Byungsu had caused a traffic accident and killed the victims, all but cemented the fact that Byungsu the vampire had attacked Professor Park.

Byungsu was put on the national wanted list, and around campus people started calling me "The Lifesaver".

o - o - o - o - o

To recap, since school started, I became friends with Hayan, saved her from a vampire by revealing my secret, met Father Michael and Hayan's younger siblings, and also saved another person from a vampire attack.

My life in Korea had been extremely eventful, and it only became more so with the introduction of Detective Euntae Hwang.

It was another day at the university, and there were students outside of the school protesting the recent vampire attacks. I was irritated, but I could also understand where they were coming from. Recent examples like Byungsu had shown that it was all too easy for vampires to hide on campus.

I was with Hayan, and the two other freshman she had met at the pub.

"Excuse me, are you Hayan Park?"

We all turned around to see a handsome red haired man. I looked at Hayan, and from her reaction, she recognized him.

"Hayan," I whispered to her, "you know this man?"

"Yes," she whispered back, "he saved me and my siblings from gangsters this one time."

Well, if he helped Hayan, he could be a good person, but he could also be faking it...

"Oh, and you must be the other person I'm looking for!"

I pointed at myself in surprise. "Me?"

"Yes, you! Let me introduce myself..."

He smiled, before proceeding to tell us all how about how he graduated from the police academy at the top of his class...and how he was made captain of the criminal investigations unit...and how he was the superstar of the vampire task force....and...

I sighed and facepalmed.

"We get it, you're a detective. Please, we don't need to hear your entire life story..."

"Oh, silly me! I chattered on for too long, huh?"

Hayan's friends said goodbye before leaving us with the detective, blushes still present on their faces. As Hayan and I walked to the dining hall with the detective to continue our conversation with him, I noticed a lot of attention on us. Or rather, the detective.

By the time we got to our destination, Hayan and I had begrudgingly learned more about him.

He wasn't kidding when he said he was an expert about vampires. He had even invented a method to kill vampires: paralyzing them and then burning them alive in a furnace. To create such a brutal method, this man...he was dangerous.

I was on my guard while waiting for what else he had to say. He had ordered an entire table's worth of food, while I ordered drinks for Hayan and I. He insisted on buying food for us as well, but I rejected him quite firmly.

The detective, Euntae Hwang as he called himself, asked us about the vampire who had killed the loan shark. Apparently, that was what Detective Hwang was investigating. The police were trying to figure out how the vampire died, and if it was related to the recent case of Byungsu...

I could tell that Hayan was nervous around the detective. He must be bringing up bad memories of the vampire attack.

Detective Hwang didn't let up in his interrogation though. If anything, he got more extreme. Did he suspect Hayan and I were vampires? Well, that wouldn't do. I pondered how to get out of this mess, when something unexpected happened.

The detective cut his hand with the knife he was using for his food.

It was quite a deep cut, and the blood flowed steadily from the wound.

"Ouch! I cut myself! I guess my fingers were too tense..."

Was he that desperate to reveal us as vampires? I'm glad I had the foresight to order a drink, so that I had something else to focus on instead of the blood. But it made me upset that Hayan seemed to look even more uncomfortable now.

"Detective, why don't you go to the nurse's office and get a bandage for that cut?"

"Are you sure? I can always get a bandage at the police station..."

"No, no, you should definitely go and get that checked out. The sooner the better."

"Alright then. I suppose this is goodbye for now."

'For now?' I hope that's 'forever' instead. The detective left after packing up the rest of his food, and I wanted Hayan and I to go home as quickly as possible, but Hayan insisted on buying some sticky rice bread for her siblings. I was going to object, but caved after Hayan gave me her best pair of puppy dog eyes.

The line for the baked goods was long today. We waited for a while, until we finally bought the bread and left the dining hall. But, we ran into the detective on our way out.

"Hey, we meet again!"

I facepalmed, for a different reason this time.

"Yayyyy...so glad we keep running into each other."

If he noticed my sarcasm, the detective didn't comment on it.

"Well, we'd love to stay and chat more, but Hayan has to go home and take care of her very sick siblings..."

"Huh? But my siblings aren't -"

"Yep! Very sick! Oh the poor little ones!"

I grabbed Hayan's hand and we speed walked away from the detective...

....

"It's time for us to takes matters into our own hands! Let's prove that we're not vampires!"

Damn it.

The protestors from earlier were now cutting people in order to prove that they weren't vampires. It was chaos all around us. Some students were willing, but most thought that the student council protestors were taking it too far. I thought about going back inside and waiting for the chaos to die down. There had to be teachers who would stop this madness, right?

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked back to see it was Detective Hwang.

He leaned down to whisper to Hayan and I, "Just start walking." So we did exactly that, until we were stopped.

The student council members were blocking our path.

"Have you done the test to prove you're not a vampire?"

They weren't backing down. Hayan raised a complaint, but that only seemed to make them angrier. One of them grabbed Hayan's wrist, and I prepared to brush it off, but when he pulled back Hayan's sleeve, we all saw the bandage on her arm.

It was still wet with blood.

But whose? Is it...the detective's? From when he cut his hand earlier with the knife? When and how did he get the bandage onto Hayan's arm?

"You see? We already did it. Do you need more proof?"

Detective Hwang was calm and collected as he slid Hayan's sleeve back down. That should have been the end of the matter, but a new obstacle stood in our way: the student council leader.

"She could have gotten that bandage anywhere. I wasn't able to see her do the test, so I need her to do it again."

This was getting ridiculous.

The student council leader made a go at grabbing Hayan's arm again, but Detective Hwang caught him midair.

"It's a crime to go around using a blade on people against their will. Unless you want to be charged, I suggest stopping."

He flashed his police ID at the student council members, which was finally enough to get them to leave us alone. The three of us were able to get away from campus unimpeded.

I was reluctantly grateful for the detective. Hayan and I could have waited inside the university, but then the council members would have kept accosting other students outside. With the threat of police intervention, they'd be unlikely to continue.

"Thank you...Detective Hwang."

"Oh please, call me Captain."

"...Captain Hwang."

He added his number to Hayan and I's contacts, before the three of us parted ways.

o - o - o - o - o

I had gotten a text from Hayan.

I...I need you. Please...please come. I'm sitting in front of the pizza restaurant...

I knew exactly where Hayan was referring to. I grabbed my umbrella and my rain jacket, before quickly heading out to find Hayan. I had no idea why she'd send me such a strange text, but whatever the reason, it sounded urgent.

The rain was pouring, and Hayan was absolutely soaked.

"Hayan! You're going to get sick like that!"

I gave Hayan my umbrella to hold, while I went into the nearest store to buy a towel for Hayan. I came back out and gave her the towel to dry off while still holding onto the umbrella. After she finished drying off, Hayan looked...dejected.

"Can you tell me now why you called me out here?"

Hayan kept her head lowered as she explained what happened to her.

"Father Michael...he...he and I got into a fight."

"You got into a fight...? About what?"

"He...he's not letting me go to school anymore."

"What?!"

I was flabbergasted. Then, my astonishment turned into indignation.

"He...he can't do that! You haven't even finished the semester yet!"

"I know...I tried arguing against it, but he...he's made up his mind."

"Hayan..."

I was still aggravated on Hayan's behalf, but seeing her appear so defeated dampened my mood.

"Maybe you need to spend some time away from Father Michael...that could do both you and him good."

"But...where would I stay?"

"Don't be siily! You can stay with me!"

"Really...? You'd do that for me?"

"Of course!"

I gave Hayan a hug. She was no longer frowning, but grinning in relief instead.

Hayan stayed over at my apartment that night. She went home briefly to get her things and her scooter, and to tell Father Michael she was staying over at my place. That made him more upset, but Hayan didn't care. She was still mad at him.

My apartment was relatively small, so I didn't have a guest room for Hayan to stay in. She told me it was okay, and decided to sleep on my couch instead. I was embarrassed I couldn't get Hayan a more comfortable place to sleep.

The next day, Hayan and I decided to go on a walk in the neighborhood to cool off. It was raining again, and we saw a bunch of people gathered around the street gutters. They were panicking, and when we peeked inside the gutter to see the source of all the commotion, we saw a cat close to drowning.

I wanted to help the cat, but I didn't want to reveal my alter ego. Then, I came up with a brilliant idea.

"Attention, please! Does everyone here know what tug of war is? Yes? We can do something similar! Everyone here line up behind me, and hold on to the person in front of you! Then, pull with all your might!"

They did as I instructed, and with the help of my vampire strength, we were able to pull the lid off of the gutter and save the cat. Someone had called 119 beforehand, but since we all saved the cat, there was nothing left to do but get our picture taken in the newspaper. Hayan and I were one of the people who received the "Good Samaritan Award".

Hayan wanted to go home and tell Father Michael about how we saved the cat. I didn't think it was a good idea, but I conceded in the end. Surely Father Michael couldn't be mad about saving an innocent animal's life?

I was disappointed to find that I was wrong. Hayan came to me in tears. She had another argument with Father Michael. So another night passed where Hayan stayed over with me.

Father Michael called Hayan the next morning to tell her that he, Yerim, and Yunsu moved to another neighborhood. He sounded apologetic about the day before. He told Hayan that he moved her stuff to their new home, and if she'd like to come over to see it.

"Go ahead, I don't mind. You should check up on your siblings too."

I gave Hayan a thumbs up, and encouraged her to go. I'd still be there for her when she needed me. Hayan gratefully thanked me, and went over to check up on her siblings, and Father Michael. She called me later, in better spirits.

"I patched things up with Father Michael. It's still kind of rough, but we're making progress."

"Hayan, that's great news! Why don't you stay over tonight then?"

"Okay...."

Hayan stayed with Father Michael, Yerim, and Yunsu for the rest of the week, while I was busy with school. I had mostly accepted the fact that Hayan wouldn't be going to college anymore, but at least we could still hang out together outside of it.

o - o - o - o - o

I got a request from Hayan to come and watch over her siblings for her, while she went out.

"Thank you so much for coming over! Yerim and Yunsu are in bed, but if they wake up and need anything, I feel much better knowing you're there with them."

"It's no problem at all! But just out of curiosity, what do you need to go out for?"

"Father Michael still hasn't come home, even though it's already night time. He's never been this late before..."

"Oh, I see. You'll be going to the church then?"

"Yep!"

"Okay, I'll see you when you get back!"

I expected Hayan to come back with Father Michael, after dealing with whatever was keeping him busy at the church.

But instead, Hayan came back with a police officer and a coroner.

"Unnie, what's going on?"

Yerim and Yunsu were rubbing the sleep from their eyes after they had been woken up by Hayan.

"As Ms. Park requested, the three of you present, sans Ms. Park's friend, are the next of kin of Father Michael. It is with a heavy heart and our deepest condolences that we announce the passing of Myeongsu Choi on this night. We are sorry for your loss, and offer you all our deepest sympathies."

After the coroner announced the death of Father Michael, the police officer and the coroner left to allow Hayan and her siblings to grieve. Yerim and Yunsu were quiet, before tears started falling from their eyes.

"U-unnie, what did they mean? F-father Michael is dead?"

"Yerim....Yunsu..."

Since Hayan arrived earlier, she had tried keeping up a strong front for her siblings. But as she embraced them in her arms, I saw her shoulders trembling. I enveloped Hayan in my arms as the four of us stood there, the quiet of the apartment interspersed with the sniffles and sobs of Hayan and her siblings.

Three days later, Father Michael's funeral was held. Captain Hwang came, along with everyone in the neighborhood, to pay their respects to Father Michael.

I stayed with Hayan and her siblings the days after the funeral. Hayan and her siblings had to prepare to move out, because of the death of their adoptive father. I helped them pack their things back at the apartment, while Hayan visited the rectory to get Father Michael's belongings.

She later told me about the letters Father Michael had written to her.

"He wrote all those letters...for me....he wanted to give them to me, but never found the chance to..."

'And now he never would', was left unsaid.

"I found this too...a business card from the Red Bomb Club."

"Red Bomb Club?!"

That was a club I had found out about during my nighttime excursions. Vampires frequented the club, and even worse, they lured unsuspecting humans in to become their prey, by posing as a safe haven.

"Why did Father Michael have a business card?"

"I don't know, but I overheard police officers at the funeral say a bunch of them had been stuck in Father's pockets."

"Could this be related? You don't think...they killed Father Michael?"

"Not just think...I know they did."

Hayan looked absolutely enraged.

"What will you do now?"

"I want to get revenge. But there's something I have to tell you first...at the church tonight."

o - o - o - o - o

Hayan and I snuck away to the church after making sure Yerim and Yunsu were safe and sound.

The roof and the walls of the church had burned away, leaving gaping holes for the moonlight to stream in.

"Okay, we're at the church. What did you want to talk about?"

"Remember that day you saved me from a vampire? You were truthful with me then, so I want to be truthful with you now."

"Truth? What truth?"

"I'm...also a pureblood vampire."

Before my very eyes, Hayan pulled her hair free from her ponytail, and I watched as it lost its color. Her eyes that I loved so much turned blue, like my own eyes when I transformed.

"This...this is...."

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, especially when you told me first..."

"....Amazing!"

"Huh? You're not betrayed? Upset I kept this from you?"

"Why would I be upset, dummy? You're the first pureblood I've ever met aside from my parents."

"Your parents? You never talk about them..."

"That's because..." I hesitated before forcing out the words. "...they died."

"Oh...would it be alright if I asked how?"

"They died in a fire after sacrificing themselves."

"Just like Father Michael..."

Hayan and I contemplated our losses, and the tragedies that led us to where we were at present.

"Is it okay now if I asked about your life? How did you end up with Father Michael?"

"Father Michael...took me in when I was ten. I had no one and nowhere left to go. I hated myself so much that...I even tried to turn myself in for being a vampire."

"And Father Michael stopped you?"

"Yes...Father Michael became a second dad for me."

"What happened to your birth parents?"

"I can't remember. My memories of before I met Father...are unclear."

"Well, I'll help you get your memories back! After you get revenge on Father Michael's killer."

"Thank you...thank you so much..."

Hayan hugged me tightly, just like the day I saved her from the vampire.

After she and I let go of each other, I took Hayan's hands in mine.

"Hayan...I'll always be by your side. And I'm not just saying this because we're both pureblood vampires. Even if I wasn't a vampire, I'd support you no matter what. You're my friend, and I'll be there for you, through whatever hardships may come."

"And you can depend on me too. You don't have to shoulder your burdens alone."

Hayan and I left the church, our hands still interlocked.

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supercorpkid · 3 years

Text

New girl.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 3000.

Two weeks ago:

You haven’t stepped foot in school for five weeks after the science fair and you absolutely didn’t miss it. In fact, there was a part of you so done with the whole school thing, you genuinely considered it was time for you to go to college. But then you didn’t.

One day, you got up, dressed your school t-shirt, limped downstairs and went back to school with a cast on your leg. You thought you were limping back to your old life, but that didn’t happen.

Jamie was still going to school for these weeks you were out. And she was not alone. It was kind of silly of you to think she would go so long without a Luthor by her side and not make new friends. Jamie is nice, funny and sweet. People would obviously get closer once the evil cousin was out of the picture.

So, you went back to school, but not to your old life. Because there was somebody else.

“Hey.” You walked in the classroom, saw someone sitting in your desk next to Jamie, and they were talking and laughing like actual friends. Jamie was so shocked by your presence, it was like she hadn’t seen you in days, which wasn’t true because you saw her the day before.

“Oh my God, you’re actually back!” Jamie stood up and quickly rearranged some desk so you could sit close to her. “I’m so happy you two finally get to meet!”

“Oh, um, hi.” You looked at the girl in your spot, your words got stuck on your throat for several different reasons. One: she was pretty. Two: She absolutely knew who you are by the look on her face. Three: the look on her face. “I’m Jamie’s cousin, my name is-”

“I know who you are.” She interrupted you. “You’re a Luthor.”

“Maya!” Jamie scolded her, and you saw a shrug in response.

“Among other things, yeah.” You agreed with your head, annoyed. That went south really fast, didn’t it? Not that you were expecting anything different, but you were still caught by surprise.

“Sorry.” She looked down, looking almost embarrassed. It took her a few seconds, but she raised her hand at you. “It’s nice to meet you, your cousin talked a lot about you.”

“Oh.” You took her hands, adjusting the frame of your glasses back in position. “Yeah, nice to meet you too.”

And it was nice. Until it wasn’t.

And that was on the lunch break, when everyone else noticed your presence and the new addition to your table, and that turned into a nightmare very, extremely, painfully fast.

“Oh, look at that! Another freak joined the freak show.” Oh yeah, the freak show comment. You certainly didn’t miss that.

“Too bad Luthor didn’t break something else.” Like what? The neck?

“Was it really an accident or someone got revenge over the things her family does?” You are somewhat correct on this one.

“Did she got beat up for being a Luthor?” Nope. For being a Super, although you still believe someday you will get beat up for the Luthor part.

“Honestly, I don’t think they’ve beaten her up enough.” Ok, so that one stung a little.

“New girl, if I were you, I would get out of there… She’s a Luthor! Luthors are vicious.” And this one stung a lot.

You dropped your head low, feeling your cheeks burn of embarrassment. Great, someone else to be dragged through mud because of you and your name. You got up from the table when you heard that.

Jamie looked up to you, like she was asking you to stay, but Maya looked at you like she was expecting you to punch whoever said that. You did neither. You just left.

Kara came to pick you up five minutes after you called. You said your leg was hurting a lot and you couldn’t stay any longer. She didn’t question. There was nothing wrong with your leg, but a little white lie never hurt nobody.

When you went back to school the next day, you were sure Maya would not be seated close to Jamie anymore. You limped your way into the classroom and she wasn’t seated on the chair you used to sit, but she was in the one behind Jamie. You were feeling kind of shocked and happily surprised about it.

“Hey, you cool?” Maya asked, before Jamie even opened her mouth to say hi. You agreed with your head and sat.

“You just left.” Jamie looked worried and you smiled.

“Sorry, my leg.” You pointed at the cast. “Sometimes the pain gets too strong.” You shrugged then smiled a little. “Luthors are used to put other people through pain, and not to feel it.”

“Shut up, last time you saw a spider you picked it up and put it outside instead of killing it.” Jamie rolled her eyes at you and looked back at Maya. “She can’t hurt a fly.”

“No one can’t hurt a fly. It’s too fast.” You gave Jamie a smirk, because you could obviously hurt a fly with your powers and she knows that, when you heard a loud laughter behind her. You looked at Maya, with puzzling eyes.

“Sorry. That was kinda funny.” She shrugged and you furrowed your brows. Did someone else aside from your family laugh over a joke you made? Wait. Is someone at school laughing with you instead of at you? Well, that’s a first.

Today:

So, apparently, Jamie’s so cool the new girl doesn’t even mind your name. She still sits next to you both in every class you have together. She doesn’t mind (or at least doesn’t show) being called a ‘freak’, a ‘weirdo’ or ‘a nerd’.

“Is aunt Kara still picking you up everyday from school?” Jamie asks while you three make your way out of the school. You’re not limping anymore, your leg is almost recovered and your powers are kind of back (not at full potential, but it’s better than nothing). Aunt Alex promised she will remove your cast at the end of the week and you’re looking forward to it.

“Rao, no!” You say with a smile, it slowly turns into a frown when you realize what you just said.

“What’s Rao?” Maya asks and you look at Jamie, panicking.

“Oh, Rao! It’s, um, it’s a joke!” Jamie forces a smile through her own panic and you agree vividly with your head.

“Yeah! Once we were thinking what God’s name would be like, and we, I don’t know, came up with Rao?” You look at Jamie and she also agrees with her head.

“Is it stupid? Rao, yes.” Jamie says and you almost laugh at her for using Rao, it sounds weird when it leaves her mouth.

“Oh, I don’t know, I think it’s funny.” Maya shrugs making her way to the car. “Well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow, you know, if I don’t meet Rao first.”

You laugh hysterically next to Jamie, who just squints her eyes at you and your overreacted laughter.

“Ok, dial back a notch.” She whispers and you let your laughter fade. “Bye, Maya!”

“Bye!” You wave goodbye and turn back to Jamie, mouth agape. “Dear Rao, do you think she noticed?”

“That you are a total weirdo?” Jamie agrees with her head. “I think it’s kind of impossible to miss that.”

“You know what? I kind of waited for this moment my whole life. I’ve never had to say ‘oh my God’.” You speak two octaves up your normal tone, making fun of half the girls from your school, and Jamie laughs. “Now I get to use God like the rest of the world.”

“Aw. Welcome to Earth, baby alien!” She hugs you and you laugh, still accepting the hug. You turn around to see Lena’s car parked close to where you are, and you say goodbye to Jamie, making your way towards her.

“Hey mom!” You get in the car, and she smiles at you. “Is everything alright? It’s the middle of the day.” You look at her with a confused expression.

“Everything’s fine.” Lena squeezes your hand, reassuringly, and starts the car getting out of your school. “I gave myself a half day and I thought you and I could do something.”

“Oh, okay.” You put your seatbelt and throw your backpack to the backseat. “This is cool.”

“Yeah?” She asks looking at you from the corner of her eyes, and you see a smile coming up on her face. “I’m glad you’re excited.”

“Of course!” You are excited. Lena leaving work in the middle of the afternoon on a Tuesday? Sign you up for that every week. “Where are we going?”

“Well, I have noticed most of your clothes are looking too childish so-”

“Oh, no.”

“I thought we could go to the mall-”

“Oh, no.”

“And we can buy some new stuff!” She finishes with a smile. You’re almost opening your mouth to say ‘oh no’ again, when she interrupts. “You know, most girls would love to have their wardrobe renewed.”

“Sorry you got stuck with me, then.” You smile apologetic and Lena takes one hand of the wheel to stroke your cheek lightly.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She reassures you. “You know there’s a food court at the mall, right?” She gives you some eyebrow raises and you give her a flat smile. “Come on, baby, it will be fun!”

“You and I have different concepts of fun.” But spending time with Lena is one of yours, so you give her a genuine smile when you think about it. “You know what? I bet it will be fun. Let’s do it!”

Lena has a much better grasp of what teens are wearing, Rao only knows why, and she helps you pick up cute clothes and when you look in the mirror you don’t look like a twelve years-old anymore. You look your age, and it feels good! And it’s fun! It’s so fun.

Until it isn’t anymore.

“Oh, wow, hey!” You look at Maya going inside of the same store you and Lena are getting out from. She looks at her mom, you, your mom, and everyone around. She doesn’t speak for a moment long enough to make it awkward.

“Do you know these people, Maya?” You hear her mother asking and the way she says ‘these’, makes your heart skip a tiny beat. You look at your mom, with her furrowed brows. Oh no, not the Luthor talk. Not in front of Lena.

“I think she goes to my school.” She shrugs her arms exaggerating, clearly overcompensating. “We’re not friends.”

Your heart drops in your chest, and you feel Lena’s hand tighten on your shoulder. You hold your breath for what feels like minutes.

“She’s kinda weird.” She adds. You look back at Lena who is looking daggers at her.

“Let’s go.” You hold Lena’s hand before she can open her mouth. “Come on, mom.”

Lena lets it slip away, but it looks like there’s a whole battle happening inside her. She keeps trying to talk to you about it, and you keep avoiding it and talking about anything else. Like your clothes, that look really stupid now.

You just can’t believe you were hanging in the mall, buying cool clothes, with your mom like a normal teen would do. You are not normal. You can’t believe you let yourself be carried away by the normality of the moment.

The experience is cut short when your mom gets an important call from work, and you’ve never felt so happy about Lena having to go back to work, like right now. She takes you back home, and goes to L Corp.

You wish you were mad at Maya, for calling you weird, but that was nothing. You are mad at yourself for thinking that for once in your life someone liked you for you, even though they’re well-aware of your last name. You feel silly and naïve. But not surprised.

“Baby, do you want to talk about what happened at the mall?” Lena walks in your bedroom already later that night, and you lower your book to look at her.

“Yeah!” You answer, and Lena’s face lights up when she thinks you want to talk to her about what’s troubling you. “What’s up with that jacket you picked up for momma? She’s going to look like a traffic light.”

“That’s not what I was talking about.” Lena sits in front of you, and you shrug like you don’t know what she means. “What that girl said to you was really bad. Just so-so mean.”

“Oh.” You think about all the things you’ve heard just this week and how that was probably one of the nicest things anyone from school has ever said to you. But Lena doesn’t know that. She doesn’t know the things you hear, and all the hate speech you endure almost every single day, so you agree with your head. “Yeah, that was bad, right?”

“Awful! I had to brace myself not to yell at her mom to raise a better child!” Lena says making you laugh. But she is not laughing, because she is not joking. You can see it on her face that she actually considered it.

“Oh, dear God, no!” You rush to reassure her. “It will only make it worse.”

“Did you just say dear God?” Lena furrows her brows and you bite your lower lip. Wrong place. Wrong crowd. Got it.

“Oh, just a slip up.” You shrug. “Anyways mom, it’s fine. I have thick skin. I mean, I’m a Luthor AND a Super. I know what we’re all about, and those people don’t. So, um, don’t worry, ok?”

“Baby, I’m sorry you have to hear those things.” Lena scootches over and kisses your temple. “But I’m glad I raised a kid who’s not mean to others and who knows her worth.”

“Yeah, totally.” You smile lightly. Knows her worth, haha, nice joke mom. “Thanks for the talk.”

“I’m always here, ok?” Lena strokes your cheek giving you a smile. “No more reading for you today.” She takes the book out of your hands. “Go to bed, it’s pretty late.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You joke, making her roll her eyes. “Goodnight, mom.”

“Goodnight, babygirl.” And so Lena leaves and you lay in your bed to sleep.

But you don’t. You can’t believe how mad you’re with yourself. Thinking Maya liked you and wanted to be your friend? You’re so dumb. Luthors don’t have friends. They have a horde of haters following them around and telling them to just kill themselves.

You thought you could have friends?

You’re dumb.

You thought she liked you?

You’re stupid.

You thought she didn’t care about your family name?

You’re a damn fool.

“Kid, time to get up!” Kara knocks on your door as a wakeup call, unaware you’ve been awake the entire night.

“Momma!” You yell, so she comes back to your bedroom. She opens the door a few seconds later. “I-um-can I-well-may I-?

“What?” Kara gets inside your bedroom and kisses your forehead. “Baby, get up so you can ride with Lena.”

“Yeah, mhm, ok.” She is almost leaving again, and you hold her hand. “But-but do you think that maybe I can stay home today?” You ask, giving a little smile and she furrows her brows.

“Why? Does your leg hurt?” You deny with your head. “Do you feel any pain or discomfort?” You deny again. “Well then, baby, you have to go to school. You already missed so many classes.”

“Mhm, yeah, I know.” You almost feel like arguing again, like begging and crying and making her feel guilty or whatever. But you know that if you keep trying to miss school, she’ll call Lena, and Lena will know why you don’t want to go and uh, fuck. You’re going to school. And you’re facing Maya sooner than you wanted.

You’re almost inside of the classroom when you feel a hand pulling you backwards. You look back to see that Maya is the one pulling you back. You don’t want to talk to her, but you’re letting yourself be pulled back, because you know that if you use half of your strength, you wouldn’t move and that would be weird.

“What?” You say when she finally stops pulling you and you both stop.

“I just want to talk to you about yesterday-”

“Oh, don’t worry. I haven’t told Jamie, and I won’t. You’re her only friend in years, and I’m not going to take that away from her just because you hate me.” You cut her off and she breathes heavily when you stop talking.

“God! Do you even know why I hate you?” She asks and you shrug, well aware of the answer.

“Because of my family.”

“No.” She looks up, then back at you very fondly. You wonder how she can hate you when she looks at you like that. “Because you make me question everything they’ve told me! How-how can a Luthor not be evil?”

You don’t answer. How can you answer that, anyway?

“How can a Luthor be this smart and not use her knowledge to try to take over the world?” Maya takes a step closer, and once again you have no idea what to answer. But that’s ok, because she doesn’t look like she needs an answer. “How can a Luthor be so-uh! So sweet, and kind, and pretty?”

“Oh.” It’s the only thing you can say. She takes a step forward again, and you can see she’s close. So, so close you can feel her breath on your face. “OH!”

“Yeah, oh.” She repeats and you follow her eyes to where she’s staring. You want to smile when you realize she’s looking at your lips, but you also don’t want to move in case she stops moving, and looking, and getting closer closer closer, so close-

She kisses you.

#supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp #kara x lena #kara x reader #supercorp daughter #supercorp fanfic #supercorpfamily #lena x reader #reader insert

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clouditae · 3 years

Text

First Love | 19

Word: 3.9k

Beta reader: jinned

happy birthday to yoongi

You first saw him in the multi-purpose room. Later learn his name, and on your third year, as he becomes your neighbor, you discover his lifestyle. Knowing your crush on him was nothing but that, you wanted to find the courage to look for love. Asking your friend for help, you’re pointed in the direction of the expert. Your neighbor, Min Yoongi

Chapter Index

You lie in bed staring up at the ceiling as the tips of your fingers brush along your lips. You can’t stop the smile growing as you remember the kiss. How he brought his lips to yours, taking you by surprise for a moment before your eyes flutter to a close and feel his lips move along yours. It fits perfectly with yours; soft, warm and sending butterflies in your stomach. You felt the fireworks and the rapid beating of your heart—it’s completely different from Hanbin. You toss to your side, burying your face in your hands as you feel the blush creep along your cheeks. You love him. You told him confidently that day and you have no regrets.

So what does that mean for the two of you? Are you a couple? You thought the same thing with Hanbin, but it wasn’t until he asked you to be his girlfriend that you learned you two were just dating for a few weeks. Ari even told you that everyone starts dating to test the waters before they decide if they want to be official or not. So, you’re not a couple with Yoongi. Unless he has a different view on what official means and that kiss makes you a couple? But it also might not be that. Maybe it’ll only be a kiss and that’s it. You’ll never know what it’s like to date him and you’ll be alone the rest of your school year and find some old dude to be your lover because you’ve only loved Yoongi since then.

“Oh my God I’m scaring myself,” you mutter to yourself, sitting up. You have to talk to him. You have to ask him if what happened that day means something more to him like it does for you. Climbing out of bed, you slip on your shoes and step up to your door, hand outstretched towards the handle. But you can't bring yourself to grasp it. Your hand idles, thoughts fighting against each other before you’re back in bed. “I’m not going. I’ll wait it out.” You’re under your cover, hiding from reality.

So much for thinking you’re a new person with so much confidence.

“You’re such a wimp.”

“I am not!” you defend, but you know she’s right. Ari is one hundred percent right today, but you don’t want to admit it out loud.

“Yes you are. Now grow a pair of bigger boobs and go ask him!” She shoves you towards the door, but her push is barely strong enough to nudge you.

It’s been almost a week since you had your kiss with Yoongi, and your last talk with him, too. He’s been unreachable—always at school or too busy to even give Hoseok the time of day. You’re thinking it’s because he has an important assignment coming up, but then you’re also thinking he’s having second thoughts about the kiss. He never said anything to you that day after the kiss. He told you he needed to focus on his work and you left. Nothing was said. Nothing is ever said when it comes to him.

Why do you like him again?

“I’ll do it later,” you whine, stomping your feet like a child as you climb into bed instead.

You can see her staring daggers at you as she stands in the middle of the room with her arms crossed over her chest. You can see she’s thinking of something, but you don’t know what. Finally, she says, “You have a week to talk to him. If you don’t, I’ll go over there and ask him myself.” You can’t help but open your mouth in shock. Did she really just— “Got it?” she says, rather than asks. Groaning, you toss your blanket off you and slide off your bed, grabbing your backpack on your desk chair and slip on your shoes. “Where are you going?” she asks as you turn the handle to open the door.

“To study on campus,” you half yell, opening the door, heading out of the room.

You're about halfway down the hall when you hear your dorm room close and open again with Ari yelling, "You better not forget what I said!"

No words are said from you as you push the side door open and head down the flight of stairs. You almost trip from the frustration Ari gave you, but you catch yourself and take careful strides down the rest of the steps. No one is really outside today—no one is heading towards the bus stop to take the fifteen minute drive towards campus. Maybe you'll have time to calm down in the shuttle and prepare yourself for a test that's weeks away.

You just needed to get out of the room and away from Ari's unnecessary glares. Reaching the sidewalk, the shuttle has just pulled to a stop. It seems like you'll have to wait fifteen or thirty minutes before the vehicle will take you to the campus. As the doors open, a few people exit the large, white bus—one of them being Yoongi who notices you immediately. You can feel your heartbeat quicken, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach in an instant. You don't understand how he can cause such chaos within you, but he does it every time you see him. You can imagine the kiss so clearly. His soft lips brushing along yours, thumbs running across your skin leaving a hot trail behind.

He's looking at you expectantly as the rest of the passengers leave along with the driver towards the buildings. It's not as obvious for you as it is for him, but you realize your mouth is open as if you're going to say something. Your body betrays you rather quickly before your brain can even comprehend what you're doing. Yet, he continues to wait there for a few more seconds before he turns his attention ahead of him and he starts towards his room.

"Um," you begin, seeing him stop in your peripheral, "I was wondering..." Wow you're struggling. Where did all that confidence you had when he kissed you go? Where did the ‘don't think just do’ motto go? Swallowing the lump in your throat, you turn to face him. "What are we exactly." Okay. You said it. Now the ball is in his court.

He's staring at you with a look you can never read, eyes blankly staring and mouth set tightly. Is what you thought about earlier really true? Was it just testing out the waters? Does he not like you? Why are you always right?

"What do you want us to be?" he asks.

You blink once. Twice. Just trying to comprehend what he just said and double checking with yourself to make sure what you heard is right. "What?" you ask, not wanting to answer just in case you did hear wrong.

He takes several steps towards you until he's a few inches away, his cedar wood cologne invading your senses as he repeats himself, his warm, minty breath fanning your face, "What do you want us to be?"

Okay he’s close. He’s super close. You can see the flecks of light brown swimming in his darker brown colored eyes. Taking in a deep breath, you answer, “I want to be more than what we are.” You said it. You did it—oh God you said it. What’s he going to say?

“Friends?” is his response to your statement.

Is he testing you? Is that what he thinks you mean? You shake your head nevertheless. “More than friends,” you mumble, feeling smaller than you did when you first opened your mouth.

He watches you. Searching for something you don’t know of. You can’t help but squirm, eyes shooting down to his black shirt as he looks at you for a moment. Finally, he answers, “Okay.” Your gaze is back to his again, shock clearly visible on your face. “If that’s what you want,” he adds.

“Is that what you want?” you ask him.

He hums in response before he slowly leans in. Your breath catches in your throat as you see him get closer and closer before you close your eyes and wait. You’re going to kiss him again. You’re going to feel his warm, soft lips against your own— “The bus is coming,” he mumbles, and your eyes shoot open, head quickly turning to look behind you. The bus has its left blinker on as it slowly gets onto the road. You’re quickly running past him, never saying your ‘goodbyes’ as you run as fast as you can to the stop before the bus drives past it. To your luck, you make it before the bus does. As quickly as possible, you dig through your backpack for your bus pass as the bus driver notices you and pulls over and comes to a stop in front of you.

The doors open and you smile gratefully as you step onto the vehicle. “Hello,” you tell him, taking in a deep breath after running the short distance suddenly. He greets you as you press your card to the scanner, hearing the satisfied beep, and make your way down the aisle and take the window seat just in front of the second door at the center of the bus. You’re putting your card back into your backpack when you hear the scanner go off, indicating that another person barely made it. The bus jerks forward as you zip your backpack up and someone sits next to you.

You look at the figure in surprise and realize it’s Yoongi. He settles into his seat, eyes forward as the bus skips the second stop, turning right onto the first cross. "Let's go on a date," he says, finally turning his attention on you. He looks so calm when he says it while it's most likely clear that you're in complete shock. "What do you have to do today?" he asks.

"I...um"—you swallow the lump in your throat—"I'm going to fill in my study guide for my test in a few weeks," you answer, hiding your hands under your backpack to clutch the straps tightly. Your heart is racing so hard right now.

"Let's go on a date after."

"I don't know how long it'll take for me to finish..."

"I'll wait," he replies as he looks ahead, seemingly not wanting to hear any more excuses.

For the rest of the ride you're lost in your thoughts on the entire scenario that played out within the last ten minutes. You try to hide the smile playing on your face, so you look out the window. The ride towards school is a quick one, only one stop was made before it comes to a stop at the final destination on campus and you follow Yoongi off the bus, walking out the door behind you.

You let out a shaky breath, trying to calm your excitement as you cross the small road and head towards the library entrance. The two of you are walking side by side down the pathway until you finally reach the building entrance. The outdoor seating is empty as Yoongi opens the glass door for you to enter first. You shyly thank him and enter inside. Pressing your hand to your chest, you feel the beating of your heart as if Yoongi being a gentleman is foreign to you. He’s done it before, but now it’s real in a sense. It’s not practice for you like it was before—it’s genuine. Yoongi is back at your side, and reaching the elevator lobby, you enter the stairwell and head down the stairs to the lower level study area.

Yoongi follows in tow, walking quietly as the two of you enter the rather empty room and you take the table under the skylight where the sun shines through the clouds and trees. Taking a seat, you try your best to hide the blush creeping when Yoongi sits next to you. And so, you try your best to focus on your study guide while Yoongi messes with his phone.

It's been a few hours when you finally finish answering all the questions. You put the guide away in your notebook, close it as well as your textbook and finally turn to Yoongi. He has one hand outstretched before him while the other is tucked under his head as he sleeps. You're lost in awe as you admire his beauty. He looks so peaceful; lips slightly parted, the tips of his jet black hair lie along his eyelids, and you can faintly see his back rise and fall with each breath he takes.

Your heart swells and you can't help but raise a hand and let your fingers brush the strands of his hair away from his eyes. His hair is softer than you thought it would be. Your hand lingers in his hair, brushing the strands away further back from his face before his eyes slowly open. Your hand is immediately back at your side, the color to your cheeks turning pink as you try and pretend you’re just packing up rather than staring at him for a few minutes.

From your peripheral you can see Yoongi slowly sit up, stretching his arms before rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Are you done?” he asks, voice croaky and gravelly.

“Y-yeah.” You stutter, packing everything into your backpack. You’re clearly not looking calm with a few papers falling from the stack as you’re trying to put it in your binder, or your zipper getting stuck when you try to open your backpack, or even your hair continuously falling into your face no matter how many times you push it back, but either he doesn’t notice or he’s pretending not to. “Uh.” You clear your throat. “Did you still want to…”

“You hungry?” he asks, saving you the struggle of trying to finish your sentence. You hum in response, letting out a quiet breath. It’s hard to play off like you’re not internally panicking. He rises to his feet, and you do the same, holding your bag in one hand. “Let’s go eat,” he voices, pushing his chair in and waits for you to follow before the two of you head upstairs.

As you step out into the crisp, Saturday afternoon air, the once blue sky is gone and replaced with gray clouds. You slip your arms through the straps of your backpack as you put it on, attention turning to Yoongi as he tells you, “Let’s have sushi.” You agree, already imagining the taste of the rolls you’re going to consume as the two of you head in the direction of the food court. Yoongi walks alongside you, the two of you walking in a comfortable silence. It’s something you’re not used to in all honesty. He usually walks ahead when the two of you go somewhere together, and the rest of the time you’re trying your best to keep up. Now, however, he’s keeping at your pace and it makes your chest flutter and a smile trying desperately to appear on your face. You’ve never felt so happy and nervous at the same time.

Reaching the food court, you see a few people sitting scattered at the tables working on their assignments or chatting with their friends. You follow Yoongi towards the Japanese stand where the line is empty. When you reach the register, the man smiles and asks, “What would you like to order?” Yoongi says his order then looks towards you. After a few blinks of confusion, you realize he wants you to add your order in as well. Telling the man your order, he totals up and takes Yoongi’s card who had it out already before you could even dig in your backpack for yours.

You find a table at the corner of the building, isolated from everyone else. You take a seat against the wall while he takes the chair across from you. “You’re nervous,” he comments after a few seconds of silence. You open your mouth to answer, yet nothing is said. You close your mouth and look away in embarrassment. You finally have him, but you can’t help but feel like you don’t. That this could all be a dream. “Are you having second thoughts?”

You shake your head, suddenly all the words spilling, “I want to be with you. I just never expected for it to happen and I’m just…a mess.”

He watches you for a second before saying, “Okay.” His name is called and he leaves to retrieve your food.

While the two of you eat, no words were really said. You can’t think of anything to say, and Yoongi seems to be distracted with his food. It takes about halfway being done with your plate that he finally strikes up a conversation. Sadly it’s about your summer, so you had to do a lot of dodging when it came to Hanbin. Would he get jealous? Angry? Will he ask what happened between the two of you? You’re not sure, but you’re not going to find out right now.

During his summer, Yoongi tells you he spent most of his time working at his shop, mastering his producing skills, and hanging out with Hoseok when they’re both free. “A simple summer,” he explains, placing a roll in his mouth.

When the two of you finish, you feel satisfied and happier to have spent a calming date with Yoongi. You remember the last time he took you out on one—well a practice one, but the two of you argued and the whole date was ruined. This one’s real, and so much better than any date you’ve been on. Throwing your box in the trash, you head out the building only to be met with heavy rain. You stand under the awning with the rain pouring and the campus empty as far as the eye can see. Yoongi sighs, “Guess we’re running.” Turning to look at him, he does the same before his hand grabs yours and pulls you out from under the awning, the two of you running.

You cut through the Psychology building, getting a bit of protection from the rain before you’re running along the road towards the bus stop. You try your best to shield your eyes from the rain, but nothing you do helps, so you rely on Yoongi to lead the way. Your legs are burning by the time you reach the bus stop, the two of you hiding under the bus shelter with heavy breaths. Looking around you notice that no one is around. You’re guessing everyone left before the rain hit while you were oblivious to the possibility of it coming. You should have brought an umbrella or—

Yoongi cups your cheeks softly, bringing your attention to him. Looking at him you take in his features. The tips of his hair stick to his forehead, drops of water fall from it, his mouth slightly parted as his pants become lesser. No matter how he looks, he will always take your breath away.

“I want to know that when I wake up tomorrow, I can see you and hold you without thinking this is a dream. I want to be more than friends, too.”

You’d think you would have so much to say from his confession, but nothing comes to mind. So, you repeat what he said hours ago when you told him what you wanted, “Okay.” You’re surprised, and it may be evident on your face as you watch his eyes dart from side to side as if he’s searching for something you don’t know. You try your best to let him know that you want this, that you want to be with him more than anything, and you can only hope it gets through to him. It seems like it does as his eyes stop searching and he’s looking at you with a calm, confident look as he leans in, eyes closing and his lips gently press to yours.

Your eyes come to a close as you kiss him back, feeling that unfamiliar, yet wonderful sensation you felt when he kissed you the first time—the fireworks, the dozens of butterflies swarming your stomach, and your heart racing faster than when Hanbin kissed you for the first time. Warmth over takes the cold as your lips brush along with familiarity, as if the two of you kissed a thousand times before. You want to enjoy the kiss for as long as you can, but he pulls back lightly, his warm breath blanketing your lips. Opening your eyes, you can see his soft gaze staring at you for a brief second before he kisses you one more time as the sound of a vehicle comes to a stop in front of you.

You feel like you’re on cloud nine, like nothing in this world could break you down right now. The feeling of his kiss lingers on your lips, and you want nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him again. You just want to be lost in his lips.

As the two of you separate from one another, the shuttle doors open and the two of you quickly get in. Taking a seat at the back, you sit next to the window and Yoongi beside you, taking your hand in his as he settles further into his seat and closes his eyes.

You’ve never enjoyed a bus ride as much as you do right now, feeling his thumb brush along your skin as the driver comes and goes at the next two stops, no one else enters the shuttle. The rain continues to pour from outside, creating small puddles on certain parts of the street with cars zooming over them and creating a splash. Music is playing over the speaker, a faint soothing song against the overpowering rain and cars zooming by.

A while later the shuttle comes to a stop in front of the entrance to your dorm building, Yoongi’s eyes open and he gets up from his seat, your hand still in his as he leads you out of the vehicle. You thank the driver before the two of you are running across the parking lot and up the flight of stairs to the second floor door. You hide from the rain as Yoongi fishes out from his pocket his ID and presses it to the scanner. A beep is heard and he opens the door, letting you enter first.

Walking down the hallway, you stop at your door, turning to Yoongi. He tucks your hair back behind your ear as he instructs, “Go get warm before you catch a cold.” You nod. “I’ll see you later.”

As he turns to enter his room you grab his hand. He turns back around. “We’re a couple,” you say, your statement not sounding like a question like you wanted. He nods in response. “You’re my boyfriend,” you mutter, nervous for his answer.

He chuckles, a smile you’ve never seen before appearing on his face. You forget how to breathe as you stare in awe at his simple yet bright smile. “I am.” He steps forward and places a kiss on your forehead. “Go inside,” he tells you, and you let his hand go and do as instructed. Pressing your ID to the scanner, he whispers, “Goodnight.” and you enter your room, the biggest smile on your face with cheeks as flushed as they can be.

Ari drops everything she’s doing and listens to you as you tell her about the greatest date of your life.

#bangtanarmynet #thebtswritersclub #bangtanuniversity #btsgoldnet #btswritersguild #bts #bts x reader #bts x you #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #bts au #min yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi au

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kaistarus · 3 years

Text

College Drop-Out

Pairing: NishinoyaXReader

Words: 1.6K

Summary: When Noya shows up in the middle of the night unprompted you’re more than surprised at the news he brings with him.

A/N: angsty >:D but it’s me so is it really? lol

Masterlist

A strange vibration pulled you out of your deep slumber. You whined as you smoothed your hand across your mattress aimlessly searching for what caused the annoyance. When your fingers glided across the soft cotton sheet to land on your cell phone your frustration hit its peak.

You pulled it down, squinting at the blinding screen that shone Nishinoya’s contact against your room’s pitch-black darkness. You swept the red circle to end your suffering and snuggled back into your cocoon of warmth. Whatever Nishinoya wanted at nearly three in the morning he could deal with himself.

The cellphone began vibrating a second time and with clenched teeth you sent him to voicemail again without opening your eyes.

But when your phone vibrated a third time you violently slid the green circle across the screen before shouting into the receiver, “Noya, it is two in the morning what the hell do you-”

“I can’t believe you sent me to voicemail,” Nishinoya sounded offended and you let out a pathetic muffled whine against your pillow.

“I’m trying to sleep.” You glared blankly at the apartment window across yours-their lights all off stave a few. You envied the ones lucky enough to be sleeping. “What do you want.”

“You’re already sleeping on a Saturday?” Nishinoya questioned.

“Already? It’s nearly two a.m, Noya.” You scoffed while straining to hear the gusts of wind on his side of the line. “Where are you?”

“Outside.”

“Obviously, I mean where outside?”

“Outside-outside,” he unhelpfully clarified. “I’m outside your apartment.”

You blinked several times before shooting up in bed, “what?”

“It’s really cold out. Could you let me in?”

You hopped out of bed and moved toward your closet, sliding into your simplest pair of shoes and rushing to the hall. “This better not be a prank, Noya.”

“It’s not,” he said as you impatiently jabbed the elevator button. “I wanted snacks from the gas station, but I must have taken a wrong turn back because I ended up here.”

“Wrong turn?” You furrowed in confusion when the elevator finally arrived. “Noya, I’m a thirty minute walk from your place.”

“Oh, right.”

You felt your cheeks warm when you stepped out of the elevator to find him standing in the vestibule. His hair had been whipped around by the wind and was a chaotic mess; you could tell he looked exhausted, but still managed a bright smile when he lifted a plastic bag filled with various snacks.

You rolled your eyes and let him in without hesitation, taking the bag from his grasp the moment he stepped through the glass doors.

“Thanks,” he mumbled while shuffling toward the elevator. You eyed him uncertainly, but followed him closely as he pressed the buttons that would take you both to your apartment.

“Are you okay?” You asked when the normally nonexistent awkward silence became too intense to ignore. He followed you hesitantly into your apartment, completely oblivious that you’d even asked a question until you’d turned to face him in your kitchen when the door swung shut. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” He said, avoiding your eyes.

You rolled yours and took the snack bag to your couch with a yawn, “you’re acting weird.”

“I’m always weird.”

“True, but this is a different weird.” You sat cross-legged, digging through the bag and pulling out a soda-you figured you’d need the caffeine to deal with whatever was happening. “Something’s clearly wrong.”

“No.” He sat down across from you on the floor and hugged his knees to his chest. “Well, maybe. I don’t know actually.”

Your eyes softened at his nervous expression that didn’t fit his confident persona, “you can tell me anything. Promise.”

He took a deep breath, making determined eye-contact before announcing, “I’m dropping out.”

You blinked once. Twice. “What the fuck?”

“I hate everything about college. I’m not good at it and it stresses me out and makes me depressed and I…” His eyes fell toward the floor. “I can’t do it anymore.”

You knew Nishinoya hated it here. Every time you studied for exams you could see the light draining from his eyes, and he spent more time finding ways to procrastinate than actually doing his homework. You didn’t know it was to the point that he wanted to drop out though.

“What are you goin-”

“Travel.” His lips quipped into a half-smile. “It’s what I’ve always wanted to do, so I’m just gonna fucking do it. Fuck college. This place sucks.”

You allowed a soft smile. How very Nishinoya to decide ‘fuck college’ because ‘this place sucked’ and start traveling the world. You scanned his determined expression and nodded.

“Okay.”

“I know, it sounds ridiculous but maybe if you sleep on it you’ll understand why-” He raised his brow. “Wait, huh?”

“I said, okay.” Your smile widened the more the idea settled in your head. “Dropping out should be easy enough, but I think the bigger problem will be getting money.”

He stared at you wondrously while you spoke which made you a little uncomfortable.

“My grandpa knows someone in Italy. They said they can get me set up there with a job and everything, so that’s where I’m gonna start.” He said while avoiding your eyes.

“Oh, you have a plan.” Your stomach knotted at the news, but you smiled through it. “Do you know when you want to go because subleasing can be-”

“I’m in love with you and I want you to come with me.”

Your mouth hung open and you stared at him with wide eyes. His face was bright red as he watched your reaction with baited breath. As you continued staring at him in stunned silence he cleared his throat and put his hands between you both as if calming a startled animal.

“Okay, um, you look like you’re panicking.”

You nodded, giving him a once-over and scooting further into the couch away from him.

“Let me try again,” Nishinoya took a deep breath before nodding. “I would very much like to suggest that you also dropped out of college, so that we may travel together.”

“Nishinoya, I don’t think that’s-”

“Also I’m in love with you.”

“I heard that part.”

He sent you fingers guns and quickly averted his eyes. You stared down at your hands and urged your sleep deprived brain to work faster on a solution, but this was a massive info dump. You locked onto his nervous amber eyes, now curiously watching you, and sighed before patting the spot beside you on the couch.

Nishinoya looked at it confused but crawled forward and climbed up beside you. This had never been how you expected everything to go, but with Nishinoya you shouldn’t have planned things to be normal.

“We’re just going to speed this up,” you took a deep breath and grabbed the sides of his face, forcing him to face you. You ignored the way your heart raced against your chest when his cheeks turned a deep shade of red. “I like you,” and before his smile could get too wide you continued. “But I’m not dropping out.”

His shoulders dropped and you could see the heartbreak in his eyes, “but why?”

You rattled your brain for the exact reason because you knew it existed, but it was really hard to find when the boy you liked was rubbing small circles gently against your knee while begging you to travel the world with him.

“I only have a year left,” you settled on while he placed a steady hand atop yours, “and I don’t think I’m ready for something like that.”

His eyes searched intensely for something in yours before he quietly asked, “what about after you graduate?”

You half-smiled and gently pressed your forehead against his. “You know I can’t promise you something that far away. It wouldn’t be fair.”

“You’re the only good thing about this place,” he groaned frustrated. “I don’t want to leave you behind.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you teased, but there was no bite in your words. Your chest was already aching at the realization that you’d be losing him--all-nighters at the library, college parties and being carried home, drunken fast food trips, random late night visits, surprise post-final celebrations--all of him.

As if mirroring your sinking dread, Nishinoya wrapped his arms around your midsection and pulled you closer, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck.

“You need to go though,” you said, pressing your cheek against the top of his head. “You’re right. This place isn’t good for you.”

He nodded in silent agreement.

“Things will work out.” You smiled slightly as he tightened his hold on you. “We’ll be okay.”

He nodded with a shaky breath in response. You closed your eyes and relaxed in his hold for the time you had. You knew your words were the truth-Nishinoya did too. Even if it wasn’t in the way you wanted right then you would both be okay.

Nishinoya would leave and with enough time you would become a distant memory for him. For you it would become the same. He would be successful and happy in his own way because that’s what he did, he was good at what he set his mind to. And you would move on to what you needed.

But you could live in this right now. Pretend you would have had something if your futures aligned differently. Maybe only these few minutes. Maybe for the night. For however long you’d allow yourself these feelings with him. But for now it could be enough.

It was enough.

#nishinoya yuu #nishinoya #nishinoya x reader #nishinoya yu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #nishinoya yu

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asleepinawell · 3 years

Note

How has poi changed your life? Genuinely curious, I love this show

I got this ask in May '20 and am only now answering it. :')

part of the problem with answering it is that half of the answer would be to the question of 'how has fandom changed your life' where poi is the fandom I've been the most active in and where fandom made the most difference. and that's a long story

my first draft of this was over 2k words long, and went back much further in time explaining how i had and hadn’t fit into queer spaces and fandom throughout my life. I edited it way back but it’s still long-ish, so you can read it below the break

many years ago, when I got my first full time job in my chosen industry my senior year of college I was so busy that I couldn't function. massive unhealthy amounts of overtime and a toxic work environment. (don't work at tech start-ups, kids!!!) my social life vanished. strikethrough on livejournal happened right then too and fandom, which i’d only been a silent participant in at that point, kind of went quiet for a while and by the time it started regrouping I was so busy that I didn't know about it. several awful years later I quit my job, spent several months in my room in my parents' house trying to recover from massive burn out (see my comment about tech start-ups), and then got a job on the opposite coast and left behind my whole circle of friends some of whom made up my entire connection to the queer community at that time.

making friends after college is very hard when you're an introvert and just generally don't like socializing that much. making queer friends can be even harder since there's fewer places to meet them and there's often an underlying question of dating/sex that hovers around awkwardly when sometimes what you want is just an absolutely no romo/no sex friendship. so while I did make a few queer friends eventually, I didn't have that same sort of community I did before I'd moved and I missed it

(I would be remiss in not saying that the queer friends i made in this time are all amazing and wonderful and some are still my close friends and very important to me. The thing I’m highlighting here was the lack of feeling like I was part of a larger queer community).

fast forward a bit. I get sick. like really really sick. I'm in and out of the ER, I'm missing tons of work, I'm mostly bed-ridden. I think after the last few years people can more easily appreciate how intensely lonely and surreal being stuck at home by yourself non stop can be when you're not used to it. sometime right before that I'd joined tumblr for the sole purpose of looking at cat pictures on my phone during boring meetings. I wasn't really aware that this was where fandom had migrated to (it was in fact possible to use tumblr without intersecting with fandom). but stuck home alone with time to kill I started looking for art and gifs of the tv and games I was consuming and stumbled into fandom tumblr and specifically queer femslash fandom.

I kind of poked around the territory and eventually fell into the carmilla fandom which became the first fandom I actually created content for. a few of my fics had a decent audience and while I was never part of the central core of the fandom I made some good friends there. some of y'all probably followed me back then. I eventually drifted away from carmilla for a lot of reasons I won't get into and stumbled right into poi. this would have been between seasons 4 and 5, late 2015-early 2016.

my health problems get more exciting and I end up in the hospital. I have vague memories of watching poi on my laptop in my hospital bed (vague because I was on a lot of morphine). I actually posted some fic while I was in the hospital (would have been the end of my carmilla run still).

and I get out of the hospital (early 2016) and am somewhat better but it's pretty clear that I'm going to have chronic health issues probably for the rest of my life. my social life, such as it was, was mostly dead, a lot of stuff I used to do for fun was much harder to manage. I'm still spending a ton of time at home (not even counting covid) and I have bad days where I feel terrible and can't do much. but I'll come back to that

I think most of us remember 2016. the year tv show runners fully embraced the bury your gays trope (and sometimes the fridging trope at the same time as a bonus!) and, by autostraddle's tally, 30 queer female characters in tv shows died. and then on top of that we had the actual real world tragedy of the pulse nightclub shootings. it was a massively depressing time all around for queer people

s5 of poi aired that year. I know people have different opinions on s5 of poi, and that's valid. I hated it. and I really intensely hated how it treated root and shaw. there aren't enough words to express how fucking angry I was after s5. or rather, there are 319,678 words.

I wrote a fic many of you may have read called sliding towards chaos that rewrote the entirety of poi from mid-s3 onwards. it got pretty popular lol. I put so much into writing it, too. it was basically a second full time job for me and a great way to take my mind off the fact I was still having health problems and all the crazy shit going on in the world (we had a presidential election in the US in 2016 :)))) it did not go well!)

i'm very proud of writing stc, and even if I think it isn't my strongest writing (which is good! improving over time is good!), it was what really connected me to a lot of other people in the fandom. I felt part of the fandom community in a way I hadn't with carmilla and it was an intensely queer community built around shared interests

one of the problems with finding queer friend groups out in the 'real world' is you're often gathering to meet based on the uniting factor of being queer, and your interests may vary greatly. fandom is amazing because it lets you find queer people who you share all these interests with and who you can bond with over them and collaborate with and that's just so so important. does fandom have a ton of issues and toxicity and bigotry? yes, absolutely. but it also has so much good to offer

through stc and later fics I became close friends with some really really cool people in the fandom (including my favorite writer and my favorite artist). these are people I'm still very close friends with. some of them I've hung out with offline and the ones I haven't are mostly because they live too far away. after years of not having my own queer circle of friends I have found one again and one I can usually participate in even with my health problems and that is such an important thing to me

on a creative front, the fic writing and the gif making I've done have both taught me an enormous amount and been a very positive part of my life. working collaboratively on comics has been one of the coolest things I've done. there is just so much good that came out of me seeing one shoot gif on tumblr dot com years ago and being like hmm looks gay I'm in

and in terms of the actual content of the show, I think a lot of the reason I was drawn to it (other than my lingering crush on fred from angel) was that root and shaw felt so uniquely and wonderfully queer in a way few f/f ships I'd seen had before. shaw being bi and reading as aro to me (I've talked about that here) and root being a chaotic computer nerd just felt so relatable to me and their relationship with each other made sense to me in a way that few others had. and the specific draw that they had for some fans probably has a lot to do with why I found friends in this fandom who I really clicked with

so yeah. I don't know how to sum this up. fandom can be a great way to find your people and engage your creativity and I think that's very sexy

#mp #asks #I added the read more line on mobile so I hope it actually works #personal

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a-cupof-jo · 3 years

Text

Set Up My Heart Pt. 7

PT. 6 – PT. 7 – PT. 8

College volleyball player!Johnny Suh x reader

Rivals-to-lovers

Fluff and angst

Synopsis: Ever since that fateful day Sophomore year of high school, Johnny Suh had been an insufferable thorn in your side. Once you made it to college you thought the two of you would never have to see each other again. That is, until a sudden school transfer has the entire university buzzing

Your breath caught as you pounded up the steps. The door slammed as you raced into the building and down the hall to your Chemistry lecture. You were very late. Maybe the professor won’t notice. With nearly 200 students crammed into a classroom, it’s a big class. You had stayed up late the night before cramming for a Finance exam you had later today. That means that you slept through your alarm and it wasn’t until Des was leaving for her class that you woke up.

You glanced around the classroom when your eyes settled on a recently familiar seat. Shimmying down the aisle you stepped up to a seat with a backpack sitting in it. The owner of the backpack looked up, “Hey, I wasn’t sure you were going to make it,” Taeil tucked his backpack under his seat.

“Slept through my alarm,” you grumbled as you pulled your notes and a pen out.

Taeil gave a sympathetic head shake but turned back to the professor. You had been surprised when you found out that Taeil was taking this class. The senior had told you the previous week that it was because he had pushed it off until his final year. He claimed he was fighting the system that told him that a science class was required for his music degree. ‘I get it’s a bachelor’s of science, but how is Chemistry going to make me a better musician?’

You couldn’t give him an answer, but then again you are a history major. How does it tie into yours? You glanced beside Taeil looking for Jungwoo’s unmistakable blonde hair. “It’s Wednesday,” Taeil muttered.

You lean back in your chair. That’s right mister mechanical engineering wasn’t actually a student in this class he only came in on Tuesdays and Fridays to make notes for students he tutors.

Taeil tapped your desk making you sit forward and stop pouting. “Focus so you know what you need to go over with Jungwoo tonight."

You pick up your pen and attempt to follow along with the professor. She was going too fast and instead of understanding what she was saying you sat there just trying to write down the calorimetry problems.

When the class ended you threw down your pen. Taeil reached over to pat your hand. "Rough morning?”

“Understatement of the century,” you shove your pen in your pencil case. “Woke up too late and I have no idea what’s going on in class. Plus I have a finance exam later today that I’m still not entirely ready for.”

“Well would coffee or lunch make you feel better, I have two hours before my next class. Or we could go to the library or a study lounge and we could try to get you feeling more confident?” Taeil waited for you to stand up from your seat. He watched as the next class started to trickle in.

You step out of the aisle and up to the classroom door, “What about both, we can grab something from the union and study there?”

Taeil grins, “That sounds great. You’re paying though.” You give a light shove as you both race out of the building. For a moment, you felt yourself relaxed as you chased Taeil through the quad.

“Watch where you’re going,” you heard a voice yell out panic laced through it. You glanced back at the voice coming from behind you before slamming into something hard. You felt your elbow catch as you tumbled to the ground.

You heard another voice grumble, “Dammit, how hard is it to pay attention to where you’re going. I have an expensive camera- of course.” An unmistakable voice scoffed, “Are you trying to cause problems, Y/n?” Johnny glowered as you turned to glare back. You hadn’t seen him in almost a week. You couldn’t say he was looking great. His eyes had bags and his hair was slightly greasy.

“Are you guys okay,” a taller male with pink hair skidded to a stop in front of you two.

Johnny brushed off his jeans, “No thanks to her.” He jerked his head toward you.

“Look here mister, I don’t know why you feel like you have to-” you were cut off as Taeil rushed into your eyesight.

“Y/n! I’m so sorry I didn’t realize that I had left you behind,” he grabbed your hands and pulled you up. You brushed off your shoulders as Taeil fretted over your state, “What happened? You were beside me just a minute ago?"

You nod to the two standing behind him, "I accidentally ran into Johnny."

Taeil glanced behind him and smiled when he caught eyes with the second man, "Hey, Taeyong, how’s it going?” You watched as the two exchanged pleasantries. Johnny shifted looking back down at his camera pushing several buttons before sighing. “We were just about to grab lunch at the union. You should come with us!” You watched as Johnny’s shoulders bunched up tight.

“Sure! Johnny and I were just finishing up here, so we could definitely join you,” Taeyong grabbed a bag that sat on a nearby bench. “Come on, Johnny!"

Johnny looked like he was going to protest. Taeyong grabbed the camera from Johnny’s neck and put it in the bag. Johnny sighed obviously not able to get out of this.

Taeyong grabbed a hold of Taeil’s arm before dragging him towards the union, "So you know I was thinking,” you heard Taeyong start talking about a piece of music with Taeil.

Johnny stepped up next to you, “Look,” he ran a hand through his hair, his face pinched. “I just wanted to say.”

“I’m not happy about this either so why don’t we just get this over with so we both can be on our merry way,” you snapped.

Johnny’s face morphed his eyes narrowed and his lips tightened, “Glad we’re on the same page.” He turned away from you and you finished your journey in silence.

“We’re really happy with the track you made for us,” Taeyong smiled at Taeil from across the table. “Seriously I could never thank you enough."

Taeil waved him off, "I’m using it for my composition class. I’m just glad you guys are able to use it."

You turned to the book you had laid out on the table in from of you. The notebook sitting on top of it showing recent notes you had taken. You clicked your pen as you attempted to solve a math equation. The paper crinkled as you scribbled across it.

"You have to make sure you add in the overhead cost,” your head snapped up to Johnny who had sat across from you. “Then you can take it from annual costs. You’ve got the rest of it right."

You frowned at him before writing down what he said, "It’s correct.” You stared at him wide eyed.

“Woah, Johnny knows finance,” Taeil and Taeyong turned from their conversation to you two. “I didn’t think you were in Finance though?” Taeyong eyebrows pinched together.

Johnny shook his head, his dark hair flying in all different directions, “I was. I took a couple of business classes before switching to journalism. Finance just happened to be one.” Johnny turned back to you slightly, “Just thought I’d try to be some help. You seemed like you were struggling with that problem."

You wanted to glare at him. To tell him that you don’t need any help, especially not his. Who was he to decide that you needed help. Even if he did get you to the right answer he didn’t need to step in. He never had before. You gave him a tense smile, "Thank you, I have an exam today that I’m cramming for."

Johnny smiled back. His less tense and closer to genuine, "No problem, let me know if I can try to help you with something else."

You gave him a slight nod as you went back to your work. "So is that why you transferred here? I didn’t think NCU’s journalism program was that good. Actually, isn’t SMU’s the top program in the region.” Taeyong dipped a french fry in ketchup.

Johnny shrugged as he played with the food still on his plate, “I had no choice, well that’s not completely true, but on a sports team when a player gets injured they become a money hole. It was either stay at SMU and be off the volleyball team or go through PT, transfer, and maybe have a chance of playing again. NCU was just one of the universities that was willing to put me on the roster."

You kept your head ducked as you listened to their conversation. Taeyong had leaned forward, his head now sitting on the table, "So, why NCU? I mean you said this was just one of the options.”

Johnny nodded, “Yeah, it was between here, UofE, and RCU. A guy I knew at SMU said he had a friend that goes here and got me hooked up with him. Just so happens that guy,Jaehyun, was looking for another roommate. Plus, NCU doesn’t have an awful journalism program so I ended up here. To be honest, I like it here much more than SMU."

Taeil nudged your elbow catching your attention. You hummed as you resumed your studying, "You doing okay there?” He peered over you shoulder attempting to read your handwriting.

“Yeah, I think that I should do fine,” you grinned lightly. “I think I was more stressed out about it than I should have been."

He nodded at you before turning back to Johnny, “So you’re here. Now how do you know Taeyong?”

“We met in a photography class! I need it for my electives and Johnny’s specialization is photojournalism,” Taeyong perked up. “We sat by each other Johnny’s first day.” That intrigued you. A memory of Johnny standing in front of you camera flashing and pencil scratching danced around your head.

Johnny hummed as he pushed buttons on his camera, “We have an assignment for still life photography and I asked Tae if he could be my model.”

“You liked photography in High School also,” you hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but you had watched as Johnny lit up with talking about his class. The stares that the table gave you told you that you shouldn’t have said that. “Although, your skills as a journalist were shit.” You pulled your backpack from under the table. The book you had open slid closed and into the waiting bag as you panicked. You shouldn’t have said anything.

Johnny fixed you with a look that begged for understanding, “You know that we had a lot of restrictions on what we could write and publish. It all went through the teacher and principals.”

“That didn’t stop you from publishing that article about me now did it,” you hissed. The chair scraped the ground as you stood up. “I bet you loved getting to destroy my name. ‘Volleyball Prodigy Turns Out to be a Fraud’. First article on the sports page.”

Johnny stood up across from you, “Y/n I did not have any-”

“You were the one that interviewed me and used that in the article. Were you not?” You held up a hand to stop him from coming around the table. Johnny opened his mouth to speak, “I don’t want to hear it. You used my pain for your own personal gain. You don’t get to say anything.” You glance up at the ceiling urging the stinging in your eyes to go away. “Taeil, Taeyong thank you for lunch. We’ll have to do this again.” You turned and fled from the table. You had to stop letting him get to you.

Johnny sat heavily on his chair. He ran his hands down his face as he tried to compose yourself. Taeil and Taeyong glared at him from their seats. “I guess I should explain to you how Y/n and I know each other.” Taeil raised an eyebrow at him, “It started in Y/n and my sophomore year of high school.”

tag list: @beyond-gethsemane , @lanadreamie @michplusb @jaxminskale @qianinterprises @stayctday @nanascupid @sadgirlroo

*Reposted from previous blog*

#nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #johnny scenarios #johnny x reader #johnny fluff #johnny angst #johnny suh

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rouiyan · 3 years

Text

𝘊𝘏𝘖𝘊𝘖𝘓𝘈𝘛𝘌 𝘔𝘐𝘓𝘒 [ 𝘩.𝘳𝘫 ]

synopsis: in a town where the seasons always seem to come a little early and the stars seem to shine a little brighter, two introverted idiots, only extroverted for each other, fall in love.

✧ huang renjun x (fem.) reader (mentioned jaemin x reader) ✧ childhood best friends to loverz

✧ genres : fluff, angst, slow burn ✧ word count : 8.4k ✧ disclaimers : swearing, as in h-e-double-hockey-sticks and probably a darn and a damn

✧ author’s note : another one of my fics that’s based off of an obscure item that i somehow managed to romanticize heavily. anyways, this one was written for the lovely hannah (@moonbeamsung) who said (in some network bio) that she wanted to live in a childhood friends to lovers au so here we are. (please also ignore how this is ever so slightly reminiscent of ‘this shirt of his’) enjoy!

huang renjun. he's tiny, impudent, childish, and not to mention, he's two months younger than you! huang renjun, the boy whose legs are currently kicking at your own from the side. huang renjun who, when you look to your right, has a lopsided smile on his face while he pretends to listen to your teacher drone on about the days of the week.

you lean in his direction, "would you quit it?" the boy looks over at you, nods, stops for a few minutes, then returns his incessant kicking. anger is lashing across your four-year-old countenance as the teacher calls out that recess is about to begin. you're the first out the door.

to say that you had no friends was an understatement. you had no friends and the other children liked to gang up on you. so when you take the opportunity, as the first one out the door, to run to the slides, the most vied for playspot on the whole playground, you're not surprised when renjun sneaks up behind you. well, you aren't surprised but rather unaware of his presence, until he pushes you, shoves you, absolutely rams you off the top. in the span of four seconds, you've pummeled down the slope at lightning speeds and instead of just hitting the ground, the sheer amount of force that was exerted from one four-year-old to another is astoundingly clear as you fly up and off the bottom ledge of the slide, soaring across the air before landing in a heap on your elbow. the wood chips of the playground floor that you've landed on dig harshly into your calves and one side of your face.

you don't let on nearly as much as it hurts when the teacher rushes over and asks if you're okay, if you needed to go to the nurses' office. you nod at her while biting back tears of stabbing pain and embarrassment and, to even more of your horror, she assigns renjun to accompany you to the nurses' office claiming that, "the two of you need to work it out anyways."

face pulled into a scowl and lips twisted into a frown, you limp next to the boy who, even now, finds it his job to ridicule you by purposefully walking fast, he knows you can't keep up. "y/n, you idiot," your mouth drops open at the i-word, "we're never going to make it in time at that pace!"

in reality, you're two steps ahead of him, "huang renjun, i am so going to tell on you."

as it so happens, the bell that rings at the end of the school day not only signals your leave, elbow patched up and held in a sling, but also the arrival of parents, specifically mrs. huang. your teacher beats you to it, guiding the woman by the elbow to the side, a small conversation of nods and creased brows. renjun is next to you, watching as well, but his fingers are fiddling with his sweater sleeves and his nose is scrunched in anticipation—no, dread.

"i didn't mean to," his voice is a bare pipsqueak, the two of you all know he tells tales far from the truth. rolling your eyes, you doubt refuting his claims will ever be as easy as now with his mom sneaking worried glances in your direction, scalding ones in his, "yeah sure, huang. tell that to my broken elbow."

"it's not broken, you're just exaggerating-"

his mom turns in his direction, walks, low heels thudding softly with each step. she's quite the nice woman, you were somewhat sure about that though her face was drawn stern at her young son. she crouches by his side and though you feel a slight outburst oncoming, she turns to you instead, smile taut but polite. "y/n, is it?"

you nod.

"i apologize, first on behalf of my son, and second for my own incompetence in raising him," she gives him an eyeful, turning back to you again, "how is your arm, sweetie?"

you smile up at her because, unlike the boy beside you, she is nice. you forgive her, sweetly, telling her your arm would heal soon and well. she leaves with a gentle pat on your head and a strong arm on her son's own elbow.

it's the next day when renjun is still sitting beside you, the usual scowl on his face replaced with a sheepish grin, snaggletooth and all, as he slides a carton of chocolate milk your way. "this is the one you like right? the brown one?"

you take it from the table and fold back the top, as you had learned, folding forward once again so an opening would slit. taking a sip, you give a hesitant nod somewhat in his direction. truth be told, chocolate milk was not your favorite, certainly the pretty pink strawberry one was, but a part of you didn't have the guts to stand up for yourself and say no, he was apologizing after all, not outright bullying you.

renjun doesn't kick your shins during class, he doesn't so much as utter a word to you, but when recess is called, and yet again you're out the door first, straight to the slides, the boy makes sure he's right behind you, and not for the purposes of shoving you off this time. he sticks around, and it stays that way.

you get your first pair of glasses at the ripe age of seven, only after you'd exclaimed to the class, rather sheepishly, that you couldn't answer the question because the board was too blurry for reasons you'd yet to comprehend. only at the optometrists office did you start to understand the purpose of glasses in the first place.

the next day in class, renjun, who was still your seatmate, pointed and poked fun. you laughed along with him because, well, because it was renjun that was making fun of you. the same reasoning could be applied when later in the day, when a terribly hubristic boy in your class, several inches taller than both you and renjun, had dared to punch you in the face for having such odd, turquoise frames, a pattern you never purchased again. to much of your surprise and even his own, renjun had punched the seven-year-old duche right back in the face. it was actually the chin from his angle, but hey, it's the thought that counts.

you let renjun choose the next pair of glasses you got, and though his preference was much differing to your own, you wore it for the next year and a half until your eyesight worsened once again.

renjun steals at your food, and gets his hand smacked by the teacher, so you pass him the carrots, which you abhor and he passes you the chocolate milk, which you adore. it's as simple as that, and it stays that way.

fingers wiping at your glasses with the bottom hem of your shirt. you're sprawled back onto renjun's bed, hiking your feet onto the footboard. "what happens when we die, jun?"

the boy swivels in his chair to face you, feet planting at the exact moment. twirling the pen in hand, he places the tip of it at his chin and glances up towards the ceiling in what you think to be rumination. turns out, he's mocking you as always, "hmm, i don't know, why don't you test it out?" you play along gladly, "it'll take a zombie apocalypse to wipe me out, i'm telling you. and when and if that happens i'm bringing you down with me."

your best friend discards his pen back into the abyss of textbooks and notes on his table. he stands and walks and plops himself down on the bed next to you. the two of you are the same height, especially seen when laying down. he's yet to grow past you and you've yet to stop teasing him of it. in fact, you're just about to do so when he beats you to the chase, eyes on the ceiling once again but actually deep in rumination this time, "i hope we get matching tombstones, sorta like best friend necklaces but like- much more cool."

it's the first time you notice the brisk palpitations of your heart when in the aftermath of renjun's words. his words that were also so carefully thought out, witty but not insensitive. eleven-year-old you couldn't bring yourself to accept the fact that renjun was proving to be much more than just your designated bff. cheeks aflame, you turn your head to the left to catch his eyes already on yours. a gulp, a blink, a shift of your sights later and you finally have the words to respond. "that's only if we're not eaten alive first."

you can't help but imagine if the person you were buried by wasn't renjun, and just some man that you'd get to know in college and marry because you're too old to particularly care about notions of love. you can't help but imagine growing up with someone other than renjun by your side. you can't help it but you also struggle to, the reason behind that being you simply can't imagine. (how confusing!) renjun's all you've ever known and you doubt he could ever be replaced in your records. but as much as you wish it to stay that way, it's only a matter of time until things happen, until high school happens, until puberty happens.

it all starts when renjun bounds into your room on the first day of school, seven thirty on the dot and more than ready to take on the day after the absolute feast your mom had cooked up for the two of you. he's about to rattle on about girls and how they always take so damn long to get ready when his mouth is clamped shut at the sight he's met with. the sight he's met with being your reflection in the mirror.

you forgot to mention to him that you'd gone to the optometrist a few days back, not for a new pair of glasses but to get your first pair of contacts instead. a great struggle came with getting them in and out but with practice, you'd managed to avoid outright stabbing yourself in the eye, hence the perfectly fitting lens right this moment as you blink out the excess solution. in the mirror, you glance in the reflection at the door of which renjun is standing in front of. you fail to notice the dumbstruck look on his face and rather, exclaim in glee at how for once, you could see him in full clarity without anything sitting atop your nose and getting caught in your hair.

renjun only nods along and stares for a lot longer as you collect your backpack lain across your bed and sling it across one shoulder, beckoning the bewildered boy to follow as you led the way to the garage where your mom was waiting in the car. and even in the car, he fails to conceal his gaze that seems to never leave the glistening of your eyes. in his third period, the only class that you sadly do not share with him, his mind is still playing over and over the look of glee that graced your features in a way he's never seen before. or maybe he has seen it before, and this sudden surge of newfound feelings is just an indication of him going crazy. yeah, he decides as he sets his tray down at the table you'd agreed to meet him at for lunch, he's definitely just going crazy, nothing new.

well apparently, you'd experienced something in the new because you're currently across the cafeteria, waving frantically at him for you to join the table you were sat at. renjun narrows his eyes though it's plainly obvious that you had made friends with people other than him. not that he minds, he's actually glad that you've ventured out of your social anxiety enough to get along with others. it's something that he's always been worried about ever since he stopped bullying you himself. he finds that he's still worrying, for other reasons, especially when he walks over to find you next to a girl and two boys, all of which looked to either be of a year older or just a thousand times 'cooler' than him. he looks over at you, who though is seated at the end of the table, fits in perfectly. with a tight-lipped smile, renjun slides in to your right and almost quivers under the gaze of your new friends as they introduce themselves.

he comes to know them as this: jaemin, the one that overtly flirts with you, donghyuck, the one that never stops talking, and jennie, the one that you seem to closest to, although only knowing each other for just a few periods at most. lunch ends in a blur of conversation, none of them seem all that interested in renjun himself, moving on rather quickly after your introduction of him, but they sure are interested in you. that's what it seems like to him, when in reality, you notice that most the times you've look over at him, he's as quiet as never before. you wonder what's gotten into him.

you trail renjun to his locker during passing period and with a hand holding it open for him and another leaning your weight on the locker beside him, you speak over the hustle and bustle of the hallways, "sorry about that." he gives a light glance your way before shoving a biology textbook into the back slot of his backpack, and eyebrow crooked, "sorry for what?"

"i mean, i did say we'd eat lunch together, i just didn't think that…"

"that you'd make some friends?"

"yeah-"

"it's fine, y/n," he gives you a fond smile, "i'm actually glad that you made some friends."

you scrunch your nose at his response and the solemnity that lined your voice is gone, replaced with your usual, playful and upbeat tone, "geez, i didn't think you'd want to get rid of me already, the first day isn't even over!" he slams the locker door shut, almost chopping off your fingers in the process. you draw them back insticutally with an, "oop!" and renjun gives a chuckle and a ruffle to your hair, "come on, let's get to class before we're late."

he takes the seat next to you in biology, and also in ceramics the period afterwards, and really, you hope it stays that way.

the cafeteria is particularly empty today, most the kids have gone to the school assembly that wasn't actually mandatory but had to be advertised as so in order to get people to go. you pride yourself for being one of the few people in your school who knew that fact and as your eyes rove the span of the room, they stop at a familiar silhouette of a boy that you could never mistake. something about how you didn't know he was going to be here and that he was sitting alone made your heart uneasy.

you set your tray in front of him before he could comprehend who you even are, "renjun, hey, can i sit here?" it's unfathomable, the way you have to ask him but there's the inkling in the back of your mind that tells you it'd be more awkward if you didn't. you wonder how the hell the two of you have reached a point in your relationship where you had to ask to be in each other's presence. and as far as you know, renjun is still your best friend.

"yeah, sure. you're not at the assembly?"

shaking your head, "no. well, seeing as you're here i assume you also know that they're not mandatory, huh." renjun nods his head. truthfully, he did not know and the only reason he was here was because he thought it was mandatory which meant that you would be there. and wherever you were he sought not to be, for reasons that he only he was privy to. that's what made this whole situation unbearable because as you prattled on about your day, he himself giving the bare minimum of reactions and responses, the tightening knot in the pit of his stomach seemed to grow.

it grew exponentially, just watching you talk about your chemistry exam, and then your friends and then...this, "what about you, jun? how's your love life?" he's always been good at concealing his inner emotions around you, he knows what you notice and what you don't. sometimes being in love with your best friend has its perks, he supposes. "love life? you're serious?"

"yeah, i mean," you lean forward across the table, uttering under your breath so that the four other people in the cafeteria wouldn't hear, "we're in high school now. remember what we talked about?" renjun scoffs at that, at how high school y/n and middle school y/n still shared the same idea that first relationships were supposed to be reserved for the first two years of high school. he gives you an incredulous look, "we're not even a semester in, geez."

"so that's a no, like a no for 'nothing's going on'?" the glimmer of hope that glints in your eyes is indeed caught by the boy, your own first love, but his intuitions, the ones that were wrong from the start, prevents him from seeing into it any further. "yeah, nothing's going on. you?"

"well," you figure this is your chance to shoot your shot, as small of a shot as it may be, "me neither." what you didn't understand at that time was that boys, more specifically renjun, didn't take hints very well. he likes the facts and he likes them placed right under his nose. and what you didn't take into account was that by saying those two words aloud, you've in fact reprogrammed renjun's thought process to think the worst. and it really only gets worse and worse from there on out, until everything you've built up with him is suddenly, suddenly nothing.

you didn't study, plain as day as you stare at the blank whiteboard in the front of the classroom while virtually everyone else has their head downs, pencils scratching. there's three days until winter break, your first since high school has started and your sanity is definitely at stake. you look down, circle a two, a one, and two threes, and look back up, propping your chin upon a hand and tapping a finger along your jaw. perhaps a thinking pose with get your brain into the right mindset to dig for the right information. you're then reminded of how the information wouldn't be there in the first place. it might've been if you ever dared to listen in class.

groaning aloud, seemingly the whole class turns to give you a look, a glare, even a questioning glance from your teacher who you're almost sure knows exactly what predicament you're in right now. huffing in equal parts regret and exasperation, you're the first to turn in the exam only forty minutes into the period. after all, randomly guessing the answers to two hundred multiple choice questions isn't all that hard when all you have to do is choose a number from one to three.

sitting back down with a soft thud, you debate sleeping for the rest of class but come to the decision that, one: sleep is for the weak, and two: you don't deserve to sleep after an exam, the only people that deserved to sleep were the people that stayed up late to study, not to watch corny minecraft videos under the blankets. it's not nice to judge other people's definitions of time and worthiness but you're really hard on yourself and the things you do for leisure, for obvious reasons.

body slumped over, you get the closest you can to sleeping without actually closing your eyes. in a classroom full of classmates, some friends and others acquaintances, you feel like you're left entirely to yourself, or your thoughts more specifically. they eat at you. and when your eyes roam and land on that one person, in the column to your left and four seats ahead, you can't seem to stop the spiraling. before you know it, renjun is all you can think about.

the way he twirls his pencil in his hand, you were there when he was watching youtube videos on how to do it. the pencil itself, you were by his side while he read out the reviews for it on amazon. the way he bounces his sneakers up and down in the most rhythmic fashion, the same fashion you'd always scold him for. the sneakers, the ones his mom bought him for christmas just under a year ago. you'd know because you were there too. eyes solely on him, you try your best to find one thing about him that you can't tie your name to before you realize it isn't possible. you know renjun through and through. you like to think you do.

but even with everything that you know, you wonder when you started to feel the tug in the back of your mind that kept whispering that he was moving on from you. maybe you were right to feel that way, the signs were all there. late night texts, facetime calls, hell, even instagram photo replies were scarce these days. and although he'd always chalk it up to his workload, you had to hold it in each time you wanted to quip back with the fact that the two of you were in freshman year, some colleges don't even count first year grades. talking to him at school wouldn't be so hard if he'd stop avoiding you, wherever you were he was not and whenever you'd ask to meet up, he'd give the vaguest of excuses. a general meeting for a club you've never heard of, a math study group with a friend you were sat right next to, a blatant lie. just as blatantly, you come to terms with the fact that it's time to accept and forget.

so when the bell rings and you see renjun rush to do his final, quadruple check, you simply move to put your things away. and when you see renjun return to his seat, eyes meeting yours for a split second, you look away with feigned disinterest. and when he turns to exit the classroom, you stop yourself from linking an arm and forcing conversation upon him. you simply follow in tow and turn in the opposite direction. you don't play into your desires because really, as much as you desire them, your fear of his distance is enough to draw a line. your fear of rejection is greater than any feelings you've ever held for him. isn't that how it always is?

sophomore year is two-thirds of the way through when you notice that renjun is taller than you by over three inches. that alone scares you, and saddens you, because it just goes to show that you haven't talked to him in so very long. his familiar smell and the way his fingers loop themselves in the straps of his backpack bring back a lot of feelings that would've made your heart swoon a mere year ago but now makes it stop dead in its tracks. sighing, you clasp your hands behind your back as your lips thin into a tight-lipped smile, "it's been awhile, jun. how have you been?"

renjun's eyes threaten to water at the sound of your voice. he swears the ground will open up beneath him and swallow him whole in response to the way you still call him 'jun.' the only thing he can do is grip his backpack straps a little tighter and try a little harder to conceal his emotions. after all, his efforts in doing so are what led him into this situation in the first place. "i've been good. you?"

with excess vigor, you nod, "i've been pretty good, studying and all that," you give a motion of your head to denote the obvious that was the building to the side of you. you just had to exit the library at the same time as him and his ride just had to be as late as your own. "so," your eyes snap back to him when he speaks, "how's it with uhh...jaemin?" nodding again, this time with less enthusiasm, as your ex-best friend notes, you prattle on, "it's going really well, seven months strong."

oh hell, what was renjun expecting? even if you hated the living life out of your relationship, he doubts you would have laid it all out for him to see. the two of you haven't held a conversation, much less eye contact, for almost a year now. and by the looks of how your mom's car pulls into view just then and how you leave him standing on the curb with only a wave of your hand, it's about to be a year and counting.

your mom gives you a worried look as soon as the car door shuts behind you, "sweetie, was that renjun?" she veers the car out of the parking lot as you take one big gulp of air only to refute it back out in a dramatic huff. bounding your back against your seat, you strap on the seat belt and frown into the abyss, a clear devastation in your tone, "yeah it was."

"did you start the talking or did he?"

"i did! well, i thought that he would but he didn't!" with a click of her tongue matching the click of the turn signal, your mother gives you the briefest of glances, "darling, if he didn't want to talk to you then, then you shouldn't expect him to talk to you now."

"but it would've been even more awkward to just stand there."

the two of you shake your head for different reasons, your mother's just a bit more reasonable, "it's been a while, y/n. it's clear that he just didn't want to be your friend anymore. and plus, look at you, all moved on from your first love. your second one's quite the catch, huh?"

and she's right. you nod along with the thoughts that renjun's diminished presence was eye opening in many ways. one, it really was about time you got over him, two years was long enough. two, first loves were just that, the first and rarely ever the last. three, you barely had any friends. and four, your life didn't revolve around boys.

na jaemin asked you out three times before you'd said yes. you liked him more than enough during the first two tries but your hesitance was found in the way you didn't trust him nearly as much as you thought you should in a relationship. your phone pings from beside you and you lift it to see the same boy and the ridiculous contact name he had entered for himself, a nana with about fifty different variations of hearts following.

a finger hovers above it, about to swipe and give a quick reply, when an incoming notification replaces it. the contact name is rather simple, huang renjun. you suck in a breath and immediately click your phone shut, shoving it back into the depths of your backpack. jaemin will have to wait for your damned nerves to calm before you can get to his text, the blockade being renjun.

it isn't until you're home, backpack slung on the footboard of your bed, changed out of your clothes and resting atop three heavy blankets that should've probably been exchanged in the wake of spring, that you steel yourself to look at the preview of your text.

let's catch up sometime, tell me when you're free. punctuation and all.

biting down on your lip, you note that the coffee in front of you, or rather just its aftertaste, is sickeningly sweet. looking up ahead, the regret that pools in your eyes is put full on display, unintentionally of course, but there nonetheless. you regret that you didn't text renjun sooner, that you broke up with jaemin on your one year anniversary, that you stopped talking to your mom about things that so obviously upset you, and that you simply took the path of misfortunes when it seemed like nothing else could possibly go wrong.

but the matter of the fact is that you did text renjun, and not out of desperation or to rekindle an old love that was never reciprocated. you texted renjun because after everything that had happened, you still have no idea where it all started to go wrong, you have no idea what you even did that could render such terrible circumstances and you have not the slightest clue as to how to get yourself back together. in short, in very short, you are in need of a companion and, for the better part of your life, that's exactly what huang renjun is to you.

as much as you would have loved to meet at a more secluded place, perhaps just your house, you also knew how informal that would seem of you after not talking to the dude for almost a year and a half now. he meets your eyes with his own, hesitant at first, but the smallest of smiles is soon to follow and you're left to wonder why, just like that, your world already seems to shift back into place and why his smile seems to make it all...make sense.

"how are you now?" the laugh in his tone is bare but detectable only to you. being swaddled in familiarity really does a good number or two on your dampened mood. a smile hasn't chanced on your own face but you doubt it'll be long before it does, "pretty terrible, jun. how 'bout you?"

"about the same."

"same as me or...same as last time?"

"same as you."

the two of you nod, slowly and with eyes locked. his eyes are still on yours when he picks up his venti latte for a sip and even still when he puts it back down. yours are still on his when you do the same, and even still in the moments after when your voice breaches the silence once again, "so this is warranted."

this time only he nods, "you mean that this is necessary."

your response comes in the form of a smile, wide and exhilaratingly relieving, as if you've been waiting for a reason to smile and have, at last, been given one. your hands clasp around the paper cup, the contents inside warming your palms, a feeling that you welcome though the summer heat is fast upon you. the sun sets in the backdrop as your now reinstated best friend walks you home. it's nowhere to be seen when he drops you off at your doorstep and leaves with a mumbled, "goodnight, text me later," and the shuffle of quickened steps down your driveway.

that night, you stay up until the hours of early morning, texting the one person that's always had such a hold on you. sloppily spelled out text after text, you're bound to fall asleep until you do, but not before reading the last he'd sent.

lets hang out tmw. no punctuation needed.

"i got your coffee, even added a ton of sugar," your eyes switch from the floor to the mug in your hands to the boy sat in front of you. instead of being grateful for the painstaking lengths you'd gone to trying to figure out how to get the coffee machine to work, renjun whines, "i only wanted a spoon of sugar."

"but you said you had to stay up late tonight," he takes the mug from your hands, fingers brushing and his eyes peering over the rim as he takes a sniff, "how will i get my caffeine if i can't even drink it?" shrugging, you take it back from him, "then i guess i'll just drink it."

"what? no, you have to go to sleep soon," renjun's brows crease in slight irritation at the proposition. your do the same, a mirror image of your best friend. when you've known someone for so long, slight nuances like these are always shared. "what are you? my mom?"

"no, but if i was, oho, you'd be damned," renjun grabs for the mug and this time takes a sip. he does his best not to scrunch his face when the sweetness hits. "i'm gonna go get ready for bed then, mom." his chuckles resonate from behind.

renjun stays up late to study and, seeing the score you got on the biology final the next day, you probably should have done the same. he looks back from his spot on the desk, the chair being positioned so that his back was to you. it's only been about fifteen minutes since you came from the bathroom with your retainers in and contacts switched out for glasses but it's just that gets his heart beating again, not so unfamiliar to the palpitations it underwent on the first day of high school, all those years ago.

he gets up and crosses the room, sock-clad feet careful not to make too much noise. you're slumped, half on the headboard and half sprawled across the bed itself, passed out already. bending over your figure, renjun slips the phone from your hands and sets it upon the beside table, he pulls your form further down the bed to prevent the worst type of neck aches in the morning, and he draws the blankets to your chin, tucking the ends beneath your figure in the same way you've always liked it.

then he crouches by your side and stares. he stares as your slow breaths fan across his face, lightly billowing the ends of his hair. he stares as the minutes on the blaring red digital clock on the bedside table fly by faster and faster. he stares until the glasses propped on the bridge of your nose bring back all the memories he'd sought to forget, when really, he could never let himself forget.

renjun remembers you crying about it to your mom, in second grade that is, after she'd picked you up with your nose all blotchy and red and renjun's tiny fists scathed. he remembers how much you hated them and wore them the least you could even though you needed them to see practically anything. renjun remembers at the age of eleven, he'd whispered in your ear on the first day of middle school, how much he liked your new frames. he remembers how you always kept them on when it was just you and him at sleepovers, or how you always told him that you didn't care what he thought of you because it was him, renjun.

he still wonders if you feel that way though if not, he wouldn't mind spending more time with you to make it so. to renjun, you're presence is irreplaceable. and not because you make him happy, but because you also make him sad, because when you're angry, you don't mind that he's angry too, and that when the whole world is turned upon you, he's the only one that can ground you. to renjun, you're the only person that's capable of making him feel like the best and worst person in the world, at the same time, or not at all, or everything in between.

and if renjun has learned anything from his studies on the universe, it's that in the whole scheme of the world, the galaxies and galaxies so big that no one can even come close to fathoming their size, he is just as insignificant as anyone else on this planet. but he if he has found something, a someone, to which he can anchor his worth, his lifetime of feelings to, he has all the reason to live. renjun doesn't mean to be dramatic, but as a second year high school student he thinks he has all the reason to say that his reason to live sorta, maybe, possibly is you.

standing, he hooks two fingers under the sides of the frames of your glasses, lifting them off your face and folding them in a hand, careful not to smudge the lens, he places them on the bedside table as well. he goes back to studying but it doesn't last. how can it when all he can think about is you?

the you who he slips into bed next to instead of sleeping on the floor like usual. the flustered you who he wakes up to. the sleepy you who ruffles his hair before getting up and out of bed. the lovely you who brushes your teeth to the beat of whatever song is playing. the caring you who makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the both of you to share at lunch.

renjun sits in the back seat to your side, his mom smiles at you in the rearview mirror. somewhere in her eyes he can tell that she's glad you're back in his life. maybe because that's how it should've been all along. he looks over to you, now with your head stuck in your textbook trying to (futilely) get some last minute cramming in before the big test. his finger fidget with the loose threads of his sweater, he smiles. and it stays that way.

you're not a fan of the stars, at least not as avid as your best friend but you do your best to recognize the ones he's taught you and learn the ones he's teaching, right now. "that one? i thought that was the chameleon one…," renjun is not the slightest bothered, having the ability to go on and on about the heavens above even if no one was listening. he turns his head towards you, weight propped up on his elbows, "we're not even in the right hemisphere to be seeing the chameleon, y/n."

"oh," you turn your head to face him as well but instead of being on your elbows, you're flat on your back, the grasses that teem over the edge of the blanket brushing your right arm. "do you know how long we've been out here?"

"does it matter? we're literally in your backyard," he sits up to check his phone anyways. "it's barely one, let's stay out for a bit more."

"okay."

renjun lays back down, now also on his back and he stares in appreciation that the little city the two of you grew up in wasn't crowded with light pollution in the summer sky, almost as if him and his star fascinations were meant to be born here. the sounds of ten or so crickets are prevalent but not blaring and the light zephyr that sifts between the houses of your street meets your skin with a warm touch. you're fully convinced that summer nights belong to the young.

breaking the silence, you grasp onto the words that cross your mind in passing, "how was your day?" renjun's head swivels in your direction again. oh how easy it is for him to be sidetracked from his favorite pastime by his favorite distraction. "my day? wasn't i with you the whole day?" your right hand balls a fist of grass and pulls, the blades are plucked sleazily from the ground and fall just as sleazily as you release them into the wind. "well yeah, but like- how was it?"

"it was good, any day with you is a good day."

positioning your body so that it now faces him, there's suddenly many things that are crossing your mind and begging for you to voice them aloud. his curt but sweet answer leaves space for your inquiries. "are you ever going to tell me what happened?" he's turning to face you as well, the blanket beneath the both of you scrunching as he moves and the outlines of his face illuminated by the light of the lantern, a good fifteen feet away. "what exactly are you referring to?"

rejun sees his past being dredged up further and further with each coming word that tumbles from your mouth, "like a year ago." his heart beats a little faster and if he wanted to, he could mouth your next string of words. "you got all...i don't know, distant i guess." swallowing thickly, he can feel your eyes on him as he decides to come clean, half clean.

"that was- that was a weird time for me." a noise of confusion and a, "how so?" gets his brain working double time to feed your curiosities without bearing his heart to you. the mere prospect of telling you his undying love for you is undoubtedly out of the question. "i guess, i was having a hard time getting adjusted to school and i didn't have that much time for...us. that's what happened."

so huang renjun ends up tossing out a blatant lie, something he knows you weren't even close to accepting as the truth but also something he knew you wouldn't question. if he wasn't comfortable with letting you know then so be it. you nod.

there are things that he wants to know as well, "then can i ask what happened with you and jaemin?" and for reasons all too similar to renjun's you also lie, "just kinda fell out of love with him. nothing spectacular."

but renjun knows more than he lets on. he knows from the rumors, things you've told your friends that have somehow made their way around the school, that have made their way to him. it still holds that he isn't all that trusting of silly gossip but the potency this one piece of information holds, the hopes, the desires, the dreams and the fantasies, it's not something he can so easily pass up. he knows that you broke up with jaemin because yes, you fell out of love with him, but that only happened because you were still in love with him, huang renjun.

where you live, september mornings, even still early in the month, have already succumbed to the edicts of fall. fog gags the clear air and renjun finds it difficult to see three feet in front of him. despite that, the road to school is still the same as always and though his mom was unable to drive him today, making it so he had to wake up half an hour early, he doesn't mind it half as much as he thought it would. in fact, he finds himself thinking more about you than anything on the lone walk there.

hands swinging back and forth, a little crazily in the absence of anyone else on the street, he passes by the convenience store a few blocks down from the school, the one that's open twenty-four hours a day and the one that you and him have been frequenting a lot at three a.m. when the midnight hungers start to kick in. the thought almost slips his mind before he has a chance to act on it.

you decide that junior year is the worst. not even halfway through your first period, the looming presence of empty resumes and college application preparations is already making you queasy. luckily, you share four of your classes with renjun who is currently in the seat next to you. he's focused, as always, while your ap us history teacher reads off of the syllabus to stall time. you really should be paying attention as well but the first day of school, especially one with renjun by your side, seems to transport you into the depths of your memories. your first day of freshman year. there's key differences though.

let's start out with the obvious. renjun is now a head taller than you, much to your chagrin. he teases you about it just as much as you had when he was the same height as you. also as obvious, you're no longer on talking terms with jennie and donghyuck, whom have since stuck with jaemin. which leads to the biggest turn of events that distinguishes your first day in high school to your second to last, if such a comparison even mattered.

third period ends, this time ap english language, a class that you don't mind at all and are, in fact, so invested in the free write that was assigned that you don't notice that the bell has rung, or that all the people around you are either packing up their things or leaving. you don't notice renjun, who's still beside you, packing up his own things as well. his desk is completely cleared save for one thing, one thing that he picks up hesitantly and holds behind his back, entirely unsure if now was even the right time for him to be carrying through with his plan.

this plan of his had been meticulously thought out during his walk to school, an impulse driven thought that, if not successful, would guarantee a trashy start of his junior year. the corners of the carton are a little bashed up from being jostled around his backpack for so long and he hopes the contents aren't completely spoiled just yet.

your head snaps up in surprise as he crosses over to the front of your desk and you're even more surprised to see that the classroom is completely void of students, your teacher had even rushed out to make the most of his lunchtime. "oh shoot! we're not gonna get a spot at the cafeteria, jun!" with haste, you start shoving your belongings into your backpack, the pencil case still wide open as you toss it in. renjun himself recedes in his thought process, certainly there would be a better time. if only he lived on your side of town, maybe then he could do it while walking you home. or maybe if he had the last period of the day with you, surely catching you after class would be too difficult. or maybe it he should've done it yesterday after the two of you spent the whole night playing games, that would've worked out a little better tha-

"renjun, what's that you're holding?"

his hand that was once behind his back has now dropped to his side, escaping his notice, and you were bent over the side of the desk to yank your backpack closed, giving you the perfect view.

"oh, this," he overcomes his flustered state in a record time of three seconds. it's now or never, he thinks, "this is for you." renjun holds out a carton of chocolate milk to you. "picked it up on the way to school today."

you take it from him graciously, turning it over in your hands as the realization dawns on you, "wait, this is the same brand as- as that one." renjun licks his lips, he shoves his hands into his pockets, takes them back out, sets them atop your desk, "yeah, it is."

your bottom lip is tucked under your front teeth as you look up at him with thoughtful eyes, no longer of appreciation or revelation but rather…, "jun, why did you get this for me?" you fold back the top of the carton, as you had learned, folding forward once again so an opening would slit. bringing it to your lips, you take three sips, the container so small that that already amounts to over half its total.

the window of opportunity has never been set wider than now. you watch as your best friend gulps, visibly, as he blinks, purposefully, as a hand comes to the scruff of his neck and rubs at it, almost forcefully before twelve years of his pent up feelings are regurgitated into the empty english classroom. the cafeteria is surely packed now.

"i like you, y/n. i got it for you because i like you."

backpack left on the ground beside you, you take a step forward, one which he reciprocates with a step back. another step is taken and another until you're in front of him, the desk directly behind. swallowing your nerves, your eyes glisten in the garish yellow lighting, "that's- that's nice to know. because i like you too."

renjun licks his lips one more time before they're on yours, kissing you just as he'd dreamed of ever since he even knew what it was, what it meant. his hand on your waist is as decisive as his steps that push you back and back until your thighs hit the desk, you prop yourself up onto it. renjun uses his height to deepen the kiss, he duly notes the sweet tang of the chocolate milk on your lips and he loves it. he loves the way it tastes, he loves that it's his lips, his tongue, that's tasting it, he loves that it's your lips that he's kissing, he loves how your hand never leaves the spot on his waist, or the other one on his shoulder, and he loves how he gets to kiss you like this however and whenever from then on. or really, he just loves you.

and it stays that way.

✧ end note — my many inspirations for this piece — the song around by niki, the kdrama 'reply 1997' an all time favorite, and of course, hannah! check them all out hehe... hannah babe, i hope you loved this piece as much as i love you. consider it a token of my love HASHAAs but really, you're such a wonderful presence in my life <33

#neowritingsnet #neothestars #neo-constellations #neoculturecafe #renjun fluff #renjun angst #huang renjun #nct renjun #nct fics #nct scenarios #rouiyan fics #rouiyan writes

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