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ringsofsaturnnnn · 3 months

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.˚ ┊..⃗. 𝐢𝐧, 𝐨𝐮𝐭 ⌇

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨(𝘴) :: mentions of sh, depression, and suicide

𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 :: i had to write a memoir for english class, and this is what i wrote. please please PLEASE be aware of the tags before clicking read more. dark content below the cut. i know it’s not what i normally post, but i thought that maybe it’d be fun to share something like this that i’ve written. i’m sure we’ll be back to your regular scheduled content soon. okay i’ll shut up and stop rambling now 😭

oh, another thing! if anyone ever needs to talk, my dms are open. i promise i don’t bite. just remember that you’re never alone, even if you feel like you are. also. you matter. read that as many times as you have to, because it’s true.

In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let it out. It’ll only hurt for a moment, you know? It’s not as bad as everyone makes it seem. It only stings for just a second.

I’m used to hearing that I fake my depression. I mean, according to everyone I have no reason to be depressed. I have two parents who are together, a good family, everything I could ever want, and more. What gives me the right to be depressed? Well, over the years, I’ve figured out that depression doesn’t care who you are. It doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor. Male or female. A kid of divorced parents or a kid of two parents who love each other. Depression sinks its piercing fangs into whoever it wants, whenever it wants.

The hardest thing about my depression is the fact that it ebbs and flows like the tide. It seems to come and go in waves. I know what times it’ll hit me the hardest and what times it’ll fade away, like the calm after a violent storm. However, there are some days when it randomly hits me like a fierce wave crashing against the shoreline. Those are the days that I find the hardest. Those are the days when I lock myself away and hide from the world. I mean, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror on those days, so how the heck would I be able to face the world and the cruelty that lies within it?

I’m not quite sure when it all started. That nagging feeling of despair; the crackling, static noise of my own mind that wouldn’t cease. All I knew is that I didn’t like it. However, it didn’t seem to care that I disliked it. Instead, it stayed. It made a home within me, making me grow accustomed to the feeling of hopelessness. It burrowed deep inside the confines of my thoughts and loomed within my mind.

I’m a person who likes to be in control. These nagging thoughts never let me have that satisfaction. They were always there, never letting me think for myself. Just when I thought I had finally broken away from them, they crept back in, making sure I knew that I wasn’t in control. That I never would be in control again.

As a result, I turned to the one thing that allowed me a sense of control. Self-harm. When I first thought about doing it, I was scared. My palms would start sweating and the palpations of my heart would quicken. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Cutting open your own skin isn’t exactly something normal people think about. However, during these times, I didn’t feel like a normal person. Normal people didn’t think about death like I did. They didn’t think about ending their own lives because they were so unbearably sad that they couldn’t stand it anymore. They didn’t seek comfort in the despondent thoughts of their own death. Normal people just didn’t do that.

The first time I did it, I cried.

I thought that the pain was awful. Too much to bear. However, as I continued to do it, I started to find relief in it. This was something I could control. While my thoughts may have been spiraling, my pain wasn’t. I knew where the pain was coming from and when it would start. Oftentimes I sat in my bathroom for five or ten minutes just controlling my own suffering. For this small drop of time, I was… I was happy. I was content because I had finally found something I could control again.

As time went on, I taught myself how to endure the pain by distracting myself. I learned how to focus on the music that I would play in the background. While the music was rather depressing with pessimistic lyrics, it was something I could relate to. It was something I could use to help cope with the gruesomeness of my own mind. I convinced myself that this temporary pain was better than the mental pain of my own suicidal thoughts that I dealt with daily. I learned that all I had to do was breathe.

In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

#˗ˏˋ saturn’s stories ´ˎ˗#cw: depression #cw: suicide #cw: sh #memoir #literature

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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genork-the-fandork · 2 years

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Note: I meant to finish this much, much sooner than I clearly did... I’M SO SORRY. Life is hard ;w;

Hello, @atsoraasayoma ! I’m sorry that I wasn’t clear, but @animegenork is my main blog, where I do my fangirling and nonsense ramblings. This is the blog where I take writing requests! (Tumblr doesn’t let you reply on posts with a sideblog, unfortunately.)

In any case, I’d be happy to write your request. c: I hope you like it!

Word Count: 2080 words

A/N: I had a hard time coming up with a real reason for why Taichi would ban Hikari from seeing Takeru, considering how much he loves Takeru as well. So that was kinda flubbed, I think, and maybe a tad out of character. Otherwise, it should be okay...?

“But Taichi,” Hikari whined, “you and I both know he didn’t mean it.”

“I don’t care, Hikari. He went too far.” Taichi scrubbed his hand through his wild mane of hair, a crease forming between his eyebrows. “I know I’m an idiot, but being told that outright to my face by Takeru? That’s a low blow.”

Hikari sighed. It had been a prank, or least Takeru’s idea of one. Everyone else had laughed, but Taichi’s eyes had shone with hurt. As his sister, Hikari had been the first to notice this and the fact that he wasn’t laughing.

“I don’t want you hanging around him outside of school, Hikari,” Taichi muttered, and Hikari widened her eyes. “At least until he learns his lesson.”

“That’s not fair! You’re my brother, not my father!” she cried. The thought of not even getting to walk home with Takeru, her best friend, was unbearable. For more reasons than she would be able to explain. “What if he apologizes? Will that fix it?”

“It’s going to take more than that. I know you two are close, but the last thing I need is my sister hanging out with someone who thinks insults are funny.” Taichi turned to leave the room, stopping with his hand on the doorframe. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, and Hikari could tell by his voice that he was. “It’s just for now. Just give me some time.”

She didn’t reply as he left, and it wasn’t until she heard the front door of their apartment close that she sat down hard on her bed, wondering what in the name of the Digital World she was going to do now.

~ ~ ~

“Taichi said what?”

Yamato let out a heaving sigh. “You know how he is. It takes him forever to get over things.”

“I thought that was you.”

“And that mouth of yours is probably why he’s pissed.”

“It was a joke!”

“For someone so grown up, you sure are childish.”

Takeru groaned. “So I can’t hang out with my best friend until this all blows over?”

“That’s the gist of it.”

“This is awful.” Takeru lowered his head, rubbing a hand down his face. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“On the bright side, at least you’ll have some time to think. Maybe you’ll come up with some nicer pranks, or at least ones that don’t hurt the gogglehead’s feelings.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks, Yamato.”

His brother nodded and left, leaving Takeru with his thoughts. He wasn’t sure he could handle time away from his best friend--unlike Taichi and Yamato, they didn’t exactly subsist on time away from each other. They were always better together, but now they couldn’t have that except in school. And it’s not like they had much time, then.

This was going to be rough.

~ ~ ~

“Hikari? What’s wrong?”

Blinking to clear the fog over her vision, Hikari glanced over at Miyako, who was leaning down to meet her eyes. Sora and Mimi, just ahead of them, were looking back at her in concern. “Oh, sorry. It’s nothing.”

Sora raised an eyebrow. “Hikari, you’re your brother’s sister, and that face doesn’t mean nothing.”

Mimi put her hands on her hips. “Come on, girl, tell us what’s up.”

“Only if we get some ice cream.”

The girls agreed and led Hikari to an ice cream shop, where they took over a corner table and leaned in close to hear what was on her mind. Hikari wanted to smile at this, because even though they were all in high school, they had never once given her the feeling that they’d left her behind and moved on.

“It’s just, ever since Taichi forbid me from seeing Takeru outside of school--”

“--which is completely bogus and stupid! Go on.”

“Thank you, Mimi. Anyway, I’ve just been, I don’t know, feeling weird. I can barely talk to him at school because of class and everything, and not seeing him just feels... wrong. It’s like I’m empty without him.”

A worm of doubt and embarrassment slithered through her at the smirks the three other girls exchanged. “Don’t just smirk at me! What’s going on?”

Sora’s smile was kind. “I think Mimi can explain it best.”

Flicking her hair over her shoulder, Mimi set her hands on her hips and declared, “Obviously, you’re in love with him!”

“What?” Hikari’s heart beat faster as if in confirmation. But there was no way that was true... right? “How can I be in love with him?”

“You want to spend more time with him, right? And you feel empty without him around? That’s a clear sign of missing him. But while I missed all of you while I was in New York--” and here Mimi threw her arms around Sora and Miyako and squeezed them both, “--I didn’t necessarily feel empty inside without you around me. I knew I could still call or email you, and there was the Digital World, too.”

Miyako nodded. “I bet you think about him even when you two are apart, and you see things on television you wanna tell him about next time you see him because they reminded you of him.”

“Well, yeah, but isn’t that the same with everyone else’s best friends?” Hikari gestured to Sora and Mimi. “Don’t you two talk constantly about your favorite dramas?”

“It’s not the same with Takeru, is it?” Miyako shook her head. “You want to talk to me about our favorite anime, but when you see something you know Takeru likes, you want to watch it so you can talk about it.”

Hikari wanted to protest, but she knew that they were right. It was different with Takeru--it always had been. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, it had always been a different feeling when she was with him. And lately, her heart had done somersaults whenever they talked, constricting when he smiled or when he was playing with Patamon.

With a sigh, she pinched her nose and said, “Oh my God, I’m in love with him.”

“Ladies, we have liftoff.” Mimi brushed her hands together as if they’d achieved something grand. “Now what are you gonna do about the Taichi thing?”

“I can punch him for you,” Miyako offered.

“No, it’s fine. I can figure this out. I think.” Hikari released a breath. “Now I guess I just need to tell him.”

“Don’t worry, it can’t possibly go wrong. Unless I’ve been wrong about you two this entire time.”

“Thanks, Mimi, that’s reassuring.”

“Anytime!”

~ ~ ~

“Taichi is being unreasonable,” Ken said, taking the bowl of candy away from Daisuke before he ate too much sugar. “I’m sure he was just lashing out because he was hurt.”

“He never reacts like this. Did I really go too far?” Takeru groaned and fell back onto the carpet, spreading his arms out on either side like he was going to make a carpet angel. But he knew doing so would only remind him of Hikari.

“I thought it was funny,” Iori said, raising his hand like they were in class. “Although it was a bit childish.”

“Yeah, it was.” Takeru grimaced. “And I’ve been feeling crappy about it ever since.”

“I wish there was a way we could help.” Ken furrowed his eyebrows, which Takeru recognized as his thinking face. There was a moment of silence among the boys before Ken spoke up again. “Is Taichi open to an apology?”

“I hope so. I really miss Hikari.”

Daisuke narrowed his eyes and leaned across the coffee table until he was in Takeru’s face. “You miss her, huh?” A smirk climbed up his face as he rested his chin on his fist. “Are you sure that’s it?”

“What are you talking about?” Takeru could barely understand Daisuke on a good day, and this was anything but.

Iori translated. “He’s asking if you’re sure you only miss her.” The younger boy raised an eyebrow. “I’m wondering the same thing. Is that all you’re feeling?”

Why was he being psychoanalyzed? “Of course that’s it! She’s my best friend! Everything’s so boring without her; I wish she was here to help translate Daisuke-speak.”

“So you wish you were with her more often,” Ken mused, slowly unwrapping a piece of candy.

“Um, yeah? Why are you all making a big deal about this?”

“You clearly like her, you dingus!” Daisuke finally shouted. “And I should know, I’m the expert on having a crush on Hikari!”

“You couldn’t even get her to hold your hand.”

“I thought we agreed never to speak of that, Iori.”

“Like her?” The realization hit Takeru like a brick. Of all their friends, he should have been the first to realize this; he’d always been good at picking up on signals about this type of stuff. But here he was, just as clueless as Daisuke used to be. How had he been so stupid? “God, you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right!” Daisuke puffed out his chest proudly. “Now, onto the task of wooing fair Hikari’s heart--I’m thinking white horse--”

“Why would we let Takeru ride a horse when he has Pegasmon?” Ken looked confused. “And wouldn’t it be better to shower her in flower petals and present her with an extravagant present.”

“I’ve heard that he needs to sing a song. I’m sure Yamato would back you up, Takeru,” Iori suggested.

Takeru needed to stop this. “Uh, thanks, guys, I’ll consider all your ideas, but I think I need to do this on my own.”

Daisuke shrugged. “Your funeral. Don’t come crying when your boring gesture doesn’t work.”

“I appreciate the confidence, Daisuke.”

“Anytime.”

~ ~ ~

“And that’s all the reasons why you’re not an idiot and I am for suggesting you are.” Takeru pressed his forehead into the floor, his knees aching from how long he’d been crouching. “I’m really, really sorry, Taichi--please don’t be mad anymore.”

The floor creaked, and he felt Taichi’s hand ruffling his hair. “I suppose I could forgive you. Really, I could never stay mad at you, Takeru.”

Takeru lifted his head and smiled at Taichi. “That’s great to hear.”

“Just watch it next time, okay? I know I’m an idiot, but it hurts when it comes from my little brother.” Taichi wrapped one arm around him and hugged the younger boy. “But thank you anyway for the apology. It means a lot.”

“I will. Thank you, Taichi.” Takeru sighed. A weight lifted off his shoulders. Now he could see Hikari again.

There was a sound of running, and Hikari suddenly appeared in the hallway, breathing heavily even though she couldn’t have run too far. “Did you make up? Taichi, have you stopped being stubborn?”

Taichi winked at Takeru and walked away. “Yeah, yeah, yell at me later. I know you want to talk to him.”

Hikari did just that, practically tackling Takeru in a hug. Even though Takeru was very much a hugger and had been used to this sort of thing from Mimi and Miyako, he’d never received such an enthusiastic hug from Hikari before. How long had it been, five years? Six? He laughed and hugged her back, his face aching from how wide his smile was. “I missed you, too, Hikari.”

“About that.” Hikari pulled away, a determined look on her face. “I’m just gonna say it, so please don’t hate me.” She took a deep breath before saying in a rush, “I think I’m in love with you.”

Takeru blinked. He had a feeling he’d heard her correctly, but still, he had to be sure... “You’re what?”

She said it just as fast as before. “I think I’m in love with you.”

“Come again?”

“I’m not saying it again, Takeru!”

He laughed again, but this time it was nervous. He could still see some of the spikes of Taichi’s brown hair around the corner, and he didn’t want to make the older boy mad again. But hell if he wasn’t going to take this chance and roll with it before Taichi did something to undermine it all. “I, uh, I think I’m in love with you, too, Hikari.”

“Say that again?”

“Absolutely not.” Takeru gave her one of his signature crooked grins. “I missed you like hell, Hikari.”

“I missed you, too.” She lightly flicked his forehead. “Never piss off my brother again, doofus.”

“If it means never seeing you? Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Hikari smiled and hugged him again, and Takeru wasn’t sure if he would ever be as happy as he was in this moment.

#gen writes #digimon drabble #digimon #takari #takeru x hikari #this is also sort of a fic but alas #thank you for trusting me with this request--i hope i did it justice!

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mr-miss-sunny · 1 year

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I decided to make a list of actually really good (lgbtq) wattpad stories because i feel like its hard to come by a good one nowadays, and who knows maybe someone who sees this post is desperately looking for something

(All of these include very good to extraordinary writing, imo)

Catching Rainbows by FairlyLocalTreehouse

Luna falls for Chloe at first sight… literally, off a ladder. And it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship, after Luna gets past the fact that Chloe doesn’t seem to be single

Sapphic, great autistic rep, really sweet and heartwarming

Vanilla by theCuppedCake

Julian White doesn’t say his real name in self-introductions. Hiding behind his middle name and a pair of overly round glasses, he tries to get through the tenacity of attending a competitive culinary school under his uncle’s influence. Amidst his learning of crust structures and the nutritional value of bananas, he meets an old friend

MLM, best writing I’ve seen in a while, cried for 30 minutes after reading, probably my favorite Wattpad book ever (strongly suggested autistic main character, but not confirmed) sequel is currently being written

The Kids Aren’t Alright by bee_mcd

The year is 1988, and Finn, Ronan, Becca and Jasper are spending the summer at a reformatory camp located deep in the Yukon. The camp, named Lightlake, is the last chance the teens have to get their lives back on track, but changing for the better isnt easy - and especially not at a place like Lightlake, where secrets outnumber the campers and myths have a way of coming to light

Amazing summer read, mainly focus on friendship but also MLM main character and a sapphic side character, sequel is also currently being written

When Shadows Rise (previously called When Queens Fall) by HeleySulich

A magic addicted spy trapped in the queen’s service must take a princess-turned-assassin in order to earn her freedom, but things get complicated when she falls for the princess she’s supposed to capture

Now a paid story, i wanted to include it regardless because its just so amazing, i wish i could reread it but i don’t have money lol. WLW, great world building, non binary rep, dark fantasy

Being Wrong by overlordpotatoe

When Charlie gets away from his drug dealing father and is sent to live with his grandparents, things aren’t suddenly okay. Charlie’s broken. He’s not sure he ever wasn’t broken. When things get unbearable, the only thing that helps Charlie feel grounded is music. What can he do when he runs out of battery for his walkman?

MLM, autistic main character, I’ve reread this book at least four times, its my ultimate comfort read, it actually contributed to me realizing i might be autistic, and look at me now, a formal diagnosis and all

The Gay Gatsby by mismatchedsockslife

When two high school boys find themselves being forced into partnership for a class project, things get interesting. With Callaway’s snarky remarks and hidden secrets, and Chance’s accidental girlfriend, their path to completing high school is anything but straight

MLM, if you’re looking for good angst, this one right here. Amazing writing, amazing characters, great overall

The Broken Song by NotJuliaChild

Elusia Vale is the most fabulous adventurer, swordswoman, thief and lover to ever grace Ishara, and she is always the first to say so. Her life has been filled with excitement and reckless abandon, but how long can she outrun the tempests she leaves in her wake?

If you’re bummed that When Shadows Rise is a paid story, read this instead, its just as fantastic and free. WLW, multiple main characters if I remember right, very long lmao, I’m still reading it

Conan The Dandelion by letsgohomehidee

Conan moves to the Big City for University, but he’s not like other boys. He doesn’t nt know how to interact with others. He’s socially awkward, and is often considered as “weird” or “strange”. He also cant touch people without feeling sick, but why? Parker is a sex addict. He’s wild, outgoing and loves to party. He’s known to be a playboy who changes women quicker than his socks. Not a day goes by when he’s not in bed with someone else. But what happens when he meets a boy who can’t be touched

MLM, autistic main character, extremely angsty, you’ll feel like an emty shell after reading, be warned (😭)

In Between Days: Raising Jordan by tristan2500

Jordan lives in his own world, or so that’s what it seems to the average person. No one, not even his brother, has ever given him a chance. That is until Tim’s best friend comes along

MLM, autistic main character, beautiful writing, Call Me By Your Name vibes

SEVENS by -crucible-

Alexei is drowning and he’s having a hard time staying afloat by himself. With a disappearing mother, unsympathetic social workers and hungry police not far off his trail, he is running out of ways to keep going. He’s desperate to find a foothold that will propel him into a secure future

MLM, angst with happy ending

Finally, my favorite author on Wattpad, I waited for last to introduce all their books (that I’ve read) into one

The Treehouse

The Lost Angel

Art For Art’s Sake

Oakleaf Academy For Boys

The Dutch Boy

By Pixie022

Go to their page for summaries

Honorable mentions: Knight by hipstateasee, All Is Found by findinglove9499, The Sound of Ice by MAndALaptop, Y.O.L.O by letsgohomehidee, Nathaniel Jean’s Senior Year by stayonbrand, Getting Wilder by booklored

And my current read that I love so far:

The Stars That Night by SkeneKidz

There’s an overwhelming amount of MLM, and not enough WLM on this list, but thats because I’ve lost track of alot of the sapphic books on Wattpad that I read in the beginning before knowing that you can make reading lists (lmao im stupid ok) im definitely gonna update with more WLW stuff when i find it

Please trust my taste, I have high standards when it comes to Wattpad

#please make sure to read the tags and trigger warnings on the stories #wattpad #mlm #wlw #gxg #bxb #queer book recommendation #book reccs

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gothtransgorl · 2 years

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So I finally finished reading I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy, and wow, I have so many thoughts (so many that idk if I can properly write them all here haha)

(Also this is gonna get kinda personal and sorta vent-like, plus idk how long this post is gonna be, so im gonna go ahead and add this read more thing lol)

I guess I should start with just how much (even concerningly so) I related to so much of the book. Sure, I've never been in the entertainment industry, and my upbringing wasn't as bad as hers, but at the same time, i cant ignore just how much reading entire sections of this book felt like something from deep inside of my own head; the side that was deeply affected and even traumatized by the person raising me; the side of me that has been through some shit that i never deserved to go though... And the way she would talk about her own mom mimicked how i have always thought of my own to a somewhat uncomfortable degree .-.

And like, sure, as much as i can actually remember of my childhood, i don't remember my mom being really physically abusive, and she didn't necessarily encourage my own history of ed-like behavior, there's just so much in this book that makes me realize that the person raising me did in fact (and to some extent still does .-.) not only put me through shit, but also either completely ignore what have been massive cries for help or even encourage my own self destructive behavior... and that realization has been super fucking hard for me to handle throughout me reading this book......

But honestly, I think that even with all of this, even with me always seeming to fall back into old habits i thought I was over with, even with these endless depressive spirals I've fallen into wayyyyy too many times to count, and even with my own hopelessness in my life as a whole, the biggest thing this book has done for me was give me hope. Her going into how she started to get help, just how fucking painful healing and recovery is, but also what it can turn into with enough effort, time, and patience is truly inspiring to me. It kind of makes me think that, maybe I can someday start working through this lifetime of repressed and bottled up thoughts and emotions. Even if the end result isn't "fixing" how fucked-up my brain is, I might actually be able to push past some of this unbearable mental pain I've kept with me my whole life...

I'm honestly so glad I went through and finished this book. I think I really needed to read it. I mean, it was really fucking hard to get through it, how much i related to wayy too much of it, how it made me stop and think about my own trauma, how i might actually be able to live for once instead of just survive it all... idk i guess this book ended up being way more important to me than I ever thought it would have

#personal #i'm glad my mom died #jennette mccurdy #Wow this ended up being wayy longer than i expected 😅#but honestly i needed a place to write all of this down #i really need to reread this book sometime when i have my emotions more under control

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absolute-flaming-trash · 3 years

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I decided to expand on this little thirst post, and chose to be very self indulgent about it in the sense that Reader has Raynaud’s Phenomenon.

No smut this time since I can’t write it to save my life right now, sorry loves, but you get Mahito being the creepy motherfucker that we all know and love.

Pairing: Mahito x Fem!Reader

SFW, Horror I guess

Word Count: 3′476

Warnings: Noncon touching, Implied threat of noncon, Death (Mahito uses Idle Transformation on someone), Implied suicide (not reader), Budding yandere behaviour, Manipulation, Fear, Experimentation

It was raining.

Heavy drops fell from the sky, pelting the ground and passers by hard enough that it hurt. Everyone moved with either their hoods drawn up tightly over their heads, or umbrellas pushed slightly into the wind so their cover wouldn’t be ripped from their hands.

Everyone except for a singular anomaly amongst the densely packed bodies.

Mahito had been bored when he stepped onto the University campus, almost unbearably so. His experiments were only entertaining up to a certain point. There were only so many times he could repeat the same experiment over and over again, eventually even the simpering cries of the abominations he created had become irritating.

What else was there to do but wander?

Certain areas of Tokyo drew the attention of the Special Grade Curse more than others. While the edges of the urban areas were easy for picking targets for experimentation, the heavily populated areas of the city were just… thrilling.

It was really only a matter of time until he made his way onto school property.

Rain droplets ran down his face in rivers, but he didn’t care. How could he when watching hundreds of students running around was entertaining him so much? Each and every one of them hurriedly running from point A to point B like what they were doing was important. Like their lives actually mattered.

He had spent enough time hanging around the campus to notice that the student traffic would pick up at certain times - every 10 minutes before the next hour. Young bodies running from one building to the next, narrowly avoiding one another as they all but ran up and down the stairs.

One thing he would never get tired of is the fact that despite how densely packed these people got, he was constantly avoided. Humans parted like the red sea, avoiding the spot where he stood no matter where he moved to. Perhaps it was simply their individual path, but the more likely reason was the vibes he put off. It was only nature for organisms to avoid things they perceived as dangerous - whether they could see them or not. It only furthered his belief that curses were better meant for this world.

So you could imagine his surprise when you bumped into him, nearly knocking yourself to the ground in the process.

“Ohmygosh, I’m so sorry! Are you okay? I didn’t see you at all, please excuse my rudeness-”

He simply stared at you, taking you in as you stumbled over your apologies and begs for forgiveness. You were such a strikingly normal thing. Hair wet, but in the process of drying as your equally wet hands clung to an umbrella - the price tag still fresh and new on the handle. A damp book bag hung at your waist, bleeding more water into your shirt and pants. Whatever skin was visible had gooseflesh all over, clearly showing how poorly you had dressed for the weather at hand.

Such an underprepared, oblivious little thing.

You were perfect.

“-again I’m so sorry, I can really be a ditz sometimes, please if there’s anything I can do to make up for it let me know.”

“Actually,” a feigned look of confusion spread across his features, “I was trying to figure out where I’m supposed to go.”

“Oh!” You smiled, eager to do something to help. “I’ve been here a while, so I know most of the campus, especially the upper part. Where are you trying to go?”

“I don’t know.” His face pulled into an exaggerated frown, “I just know it’s upper level.”

You hummed, “Here, can you hold this for a moment?”

You handed him the umbrella as you dug into your bag for your phone, pulling it out and quickly searching up the campus map on Google.

“Here,” You pressed yourself close to him so you could share shelter from the rain. “I’m headed towards here” - you pointed towards a building marked 400 - “If yours is along the way I could show you how to get there. Do you recognize any of the numbers?”

Oh this was just too easy.

“I think I’m supposed to go to the same place.”

“Oh sweet!” You clicked your phone off and slid it back into your bag with ease, taking the umbrella back from him wordlessly - but keeping him under it with you. “Are you taking Animal Behaviour as well?”

He only nodded as the two of you set off, smiling inwardly at the odd looks that were occasionally sent your way from those who eavesdropped. To anyone else, it appeared as if you were talking to yourself and he was living for it.

“I’m a little surprised I haven’t seen you before,” you murmured, taking the first of the few hundred steps to the upper level buildings. “Generally I’ve been with the same people since first year.”

“Transfer,” he grinned, matching your pace of trying to take two steps at a time. “Decided I needed a change of scenery.”

You let out a bark of laughter, “Well you’re gonna get plenty of scenery here, we are built on a hill after all.” You let out a groan immediately after, “No matter how many years I attend here, I’ll never get used to these fucking stairs.”

At the halfway point you gave up your attempt to rush up the steps, panting heavily from the exertion. Mahito had yet to even let out the slightest hint that he was physically strained.

“All the Bio buildings are up here.” You explained breathlessly, “The place started off as mostly science based, and then as more departments got added they expanded downwards, lucky bastards” The last part muttered under your breath.

Mahito didn’t respond further than a hum of affirmation, still watching you as you walked.

You were so trusting, so willing to share an umbrella with a complete stranger. You were so naïve, not even taking the time to take in his appearance and realize he did not look the part of a student, let alone notice the stitches that adorned his body.

It made him wonder just how much he could get away with.

“What did you say your name was again?”

You blanched pausing at the top of the steps, “Ohmygod how rude of me, I’m Y/N.” You offered your hand out to him.

His grin was unnaturally wide when he clasped your hand in his, “Mahito.”

You smiled back sheepishly, “Well Mahito, I hope your impression of the campus isn’t horrendous so far” You flexed your fingers after retrieving your hand back, frowning slightly before gesturing to him to continue to follow. “Animal Behaviour is on the second floor, so we get even more stairs. There’s two ways up, but I take the long way around.”

“Oh?” You could practically hear the smile in his tone.

“I’m lazy and don’t like the stairs, so I climb the ramp, even if it’s on the other side of the building. Plus there are less people around that side.”

You just continued to deliver. “Not a fan of people, are you?”

“No, I am not.” You held the door open for him with your foot, closing your umbrella and shaking the excess water off of it before following behind him.

“I guess that makes me special, then?”

“What does?”

“You not liking people.” He followed you through another door that led to a decently sized lecture hall. He noted how you ignored all the available seating near the front, instead choosing to head straight towards the back of the hall. “Does that make me an exception?”

“Perhaps.” You smiled, “I don’t know if I quite like you or not yet, so the jury is still out.”

You said the last part with a giggle before your smile quickly dropped and you shivered, staring back down at your hands which were puffy, the skin exhibiting a slight blue/purple tinge.

“Okay, I’m absolutely freezing and I can barely open and close my hands. Can you watch my stuff for a little bit?”

Mahito plopped himself down in a chair, kicking his wet feet up on the seat in front of him; uncaring that he was soaking it as he folded his hands behind his head. “What do I get if I do?”

You rolled your eyes, “My undying gratitude and me owing you one, if you really want to play the favor game, I’ll be back in a sec.”

You walked past him just in time to miss the pure thrill flash through his eyes, spreading into a wicked smile that completely broke his façade. You had no idea what you had just done with a few sarcastic words, twisting his body and watching in glee as you disappeared from the room.

But as a human expression would say, and one that he enjoyed so much, ‘No take backs’.

He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with you just yet, but favors were always so fun to collect. It had been a while since a person could see him that wasn’t a Jujutsu Sorcerer, let alone a female of the human species.

He pulled out the ties on his hair and wrung it out, pale blue locks becoming a shade lighter as the excess water was squeezed out onto the floor behind him while he tried to recall the last human he didn’t kill immediately. There had been this wonderful little bakery cashier who had been so entertaining to mess with for several weeks after he discovered they could see him, but they had… taken care of themselves before he got to have any real fun. He flicked his hair back behind his shoulders, a reminiscent pout on his lips. He supposed every human had their breaking point when it came to the throws of insanity, but he hadn’t expected them to go out that quickly. It was a pity, really. For him.

The thought about not being as rough with you briefly came up, but it was gone as soon as it came. No, he wanted to see just how much you could handle.

The thought alone made him shiver in delight. It was just a matter of what he should do first.

He glanced up at the large analog clock that hung at the front of the lecture hall. You had been gone for nearly 10 minutes now, and he was getting bored again. Already you were disappointing him, which was a shame. You’d just have to make it up to him later.

It didn’t take him long to find the bathrooms, slipping inside silently and closing the door behind him, pushing the lock shut with a soft ‘click’.

You didn’t look up from your place at the sink, attention solely focused on the stream of water hitting your hands that were gradually gaining their colour back. He felt a sensation of elation he hadn’t experienced in days as he approached you, his own body nearly vibrating the closer he drew.

His excitement instantly deflated when another body came into his view. He frowned, almost sneering at the new person who had appeared, walking over to join you at the sinks - engaging you in small talk as they did so. His sneer gave way to a new emotion he couldn’t quite put his finger on at the way you smiled at the stranger. Giving them the same level of kindness that you had given him.

That wouldn’t do.

His actions were swift, occurring with practiced ease as he rushed forward, placing a hand over their face before you could even register his sudden appearance.

“Idle Transfiguration.”

Your expression went through a delightful series of confusion, shock, and horror as the person beside you had their form twisted and transformed into something that could no longer be recognized as even remotely human. You could only stare wide eyed at the scene, the remains of the person beside you letting out a warbled cry of agony; twitching violently before finally collapsing on the floor.

Mahito sighed, letting the disappointment fully show in his frown. “They always die so quickly” He delivered a kick to the corpse as he spoke, “Although I suppose I was a little rough with that one.”

You were still silent, unmoving as you processed what just happened, save for the tremble that wracked your entire body from pure terror. Mahito’s attention quickly switched back over to you.

“Look at you shaking like a leaf, you must still be cold!” He cooed with feigned ignorance, pressing his front against your back and resting his chin on your shoulder, taking your hands in his and holding them under the continuous stream that was now forgotten to you. “Let me help you.”

Your hands were already warm, the blue and purple virtually gone from your nail beds, but that didn’t stop him from holding you in place, rubbing the pads of his fingers over your hands as you remained in shock.

“I’ve been practicing, you see. Trying to make it so when I shape a human’s soul they don’t die so quickly.” He grinned into your shoulder when your breath hitched in fear. “It’s still very much a work in progress, the longest I’ve gotten them to last has only been a few minutes.”

The temperature of the water was now beginning to hurt your hands, but he refused to let you pull away. “It’s gotten so dull recently, but now here you are… such a change of pace, so refreshing.” You jerked your head to the side at the sharp pitch of his giggle in your ear, “You’re just what I was looking for.”

You were able to rip your eyes away from the corpse on the floor to meet his face in the mirror, tears beginning to prick at the edges of your vision.

You still said nothing.

“Awwweee, why so quiet? You had so much to say on the way up here!” He lifted one of his hands to stroke along your cheek with false tenderness. You flinched away immediately, tears falling down your face as you squeezed your eyes shut and braced yourself for the same fate as your pupil.

But nothing came except for the foreign, rough texture of his fingers pressing against the skin of your cheek, running along the shape of your jaw.

“Hmm, still cold.” He trailed his hand down your neck, back along your arms leaving fresh goosebumps in his wake. “I can help you warm up some more if you’d like?”

He could practically hear your poor little heart hammering against your ribs. You elected to ignore his words once more, hoping to whatever god existed that he didn’t mean what you were thinking he was, and that he wouldn’t push it further.

Luck seemed to be on your side when he glanced down at your hands. Your fingers were now bright red, but your palms and parts of your wrists held onto the near frostbitten-like shade of purple as before.

“Why do your hands get so purple, Y/N?” He seemed to have such genuine curiosity in his voice as he continued to rub his fingers over your knuckles. “I’ve only ever seen humans get that colour in my experiments.”

You were beginning to hyperventilate at this point, your brain finally catching up with you and the ongoing events. Mahito sighed, dragging out your name in a singsong tone of impatience.

“It’s uh…” You swallowed thickly trying to keep the tremor out of your voice. “It’s a c-condition.”

“Oohh, really now?” He smiled at you in the mirror, urging you to go on.

“N-nothing too s-serious.” You let out a humourless chuckle, more tears falling down your face. “I’m just s-sensitive to the cold.”

“Does it make you have a st-st-stutter as well?” His high pitched laugh made you flinch again.

“Please-”

Mahito cut you off with a loud whine, “Begging already? That didn’t take very long.” You gasped as you were spun around, the small of your back being pushed against the wet porcelain of the sink.

It was then he could tell you were finally looking at him properly. Your eyes frantically taking in as much information about him as you could, probably so you could report him to the authorities later on. Your gaze eventually locked onto his eyes, unable to look away. Whether it was out of fear or some strange form of awe, he wasn’t exactly sure, but he was glad you were taking an equal amount of interest in him - even if it was for entire different reasons.

He adored the way you held your breath as he leaned in towards your face, sobs trapped behind tightly closed lips while you tried desperately to keep your composure.

You were like a little bunny rabbit caught in the claws of a cat playing with its food.

He tilted his head, watching how your gaze would break away temporarily to look towards the door. He considered stopping here. Maybe he should loosen his grip on your hands enough for you to contemplate making a run for it. He had locked the door, but it was heavenly to think about you fumbling with the lock and making it out the door before he could catch you; letting you think you could escape from a monster like him.

It was so, very tempting indeed…

But that would have to be a pleasure for another time.

“What are you begging me for exactly, hmm?” He was close enough that he knew you could feel his breath on your face as he spoke. “For your life? I’d be disappointed if you were, you were just starting to be entertaining as well...”

It was difficult to keep your voice from cracking when you finally spoke “Wha-what do you want?”

“That’s more like it!” You couldn’t help but flinch at the sudden switch in his tone from sinister to enthusiastic.

“I wasn’t completely lying about never being here before, that part was true.” He leaned back a touch in thought, “Originally I had no plan in mind when I arrived here, however you, my lovely little Y/N have given me a wonderful new idea for my experiments!”

He grabbed one of your hands, lacing your fingers with his and yanking it up to his face. The sudden force jolted you forward, a yelp leaving your lips as you had to make the conscious effort to grab onto the sink for support, and not the Curse in front of you.

“What you’re going to do for me, as a favor,” He could not stop the grin spreading across his face at the way your eyes widened in realization and horror, “is you’re going to find someone and bring them to a location of my choosing at the end of every week.”

Your eyes were darting back and forth, eyebrows pinching together in skepticism when he didn’t continue. “I-is that all?”

“For the f-first part!”

It took nearly everything you had not to claw at his skin when he pressed your fingers to his cheek. He could feel the warmth rapidly depleting, returning to the same cool, nearly inhuman temperature he felt the moment he shook your hand.

“You’re going to help me with my experiments, Y/N. Write down each and every little thing that happens as each one progresses, that’s what you do after all? As a budding scientist? I doubt ethics should be a problem since you hate people so much.”

You felt yourself shaking your head before you could stop yourself, fresh tears pricking the edges of your vision, “You’re insane.”

Mahito’s grip tightened on your hand, yanking you forward when you tried to pull away from him with a sigh, “Ah ah ah, you do owe me, remember?”

You chose silence once more, instead staring into his heterochromic eyes as indication that you were listening; waiting for whatever else he wanted.

He did not miss the flash of defiance that was gone almost as soon as it came.

“I will give you details later once I decide how I want to start, so in the meantime you can relax.”

If you weren’t so focused on controlling your breathing, you would have laughed at the absurdity of his statement.

“Is that all?”

“One last thing.” He leaned forward once more, pressing you back against the sink to the point you were nearly bending backwards.

“You’re not going to breathe a word of this to aannnyyybody, okay? Just a secret between you and me! If you do…”

He didn’t need to elaborate, you were already nodding frantically. He giggled, moving your fingers so they ghosted over his lips.

You had to bite down on your own to keep your whimpers contained as he pressed them to your knuckles.

“Good girl.”

Tag List: @prettycutebunny, @my-child-gaara, @yep-seeyalaterbranflakes, @shorkbrian, @biby-24k, @ao-writes-filth, @forcefulkitten, @eleventhdoctorsangel, @siphite, @agent-cupcake

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

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robinofinashiro · 3 years

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@megumitodoroki: “headcannons (maybe a drabble if you want??) for yan tamaki and yan kirishima with a pregnant darling? ( i saw the hawks and bakugo one, i really liked!!!)”

characters: yandere kirishima ejirou, tamaki amajiki x fem! reader

request status: OPENED / all fandoms I write for are pinned to the top of my page as well as my rules! feel free to request as you’d like! just please be respectful of my rules and if you have any questions, personally message me!

kirishima ejirou:

oooh, fuck, really? you got pregnant with HIS baby? fuck. i mean, kirishima is a great husband, for the MOST part. his issue 99.9999% of the time is that he’s too fucking clingy and it shows. even if he isn’t laying it on thick, everyone can see the way he is around you.

lets say you weren’t home when he found out. you went through the five stages of grief when you found out. the stick was in your hand as you stared at the wall in panic. you were in no mindset to be carrying a child and you knew there would be consequences the longer you waited to tell him.

at first, you planned to end it all and just put you and the fetus out of misery but then you realized.....kiri locked all the knifes, sharp objects, and anything you could think of hurting yourself with away. you knew regardless of what you were thinking, you were going to have his kid whether you wanted too or not.

when kiri came home, you were still in the same position in the bathroom and holding onto the stick in your hand. when he realized what it was, he let out a high pitched scream. you’re pregnant !! like this wasn’t something he was expecting to happen just yet but here you were !! pregnant with his kid.

the first thing he did was make an appointment for you. he needed to know how far along you were and when your projected birth date was. the doctor hadn’t been able to pinpoint what the sex was yet but he didn’t care !! his child was going to be the next red riot !! he was going to make sure of it !!

months into the pregnancy, he started to fix up the nursery. while you were still miserable in the fact that you were pregnant, you knew you got nothing out of loathing from the news and tried to look at the silver linings in all of it. maybe kiri would lay off the rules and give you some freedom. he was already acting different.

when you were in pain, he would be at your call. when he was at work, he made sure someone was there with you. what if something went wrong? he couldn’t trust you on your own. when your mood swings were bad, he would listen to you for once and keep his distance when you asked. when you were starving, he would get whatever it is you wanted.

the nursery was red riot themed. little linings of red everywhere with black incorporated along with it. he had small figures of himself in the crib and on small shelfs around the room. kiri made sure to put pics of the two of you in the room so the kid could see the love you both had for each other. he even went out of his way to make mini outfits of his hero uniform that fit every time he assumed the kid would have a growth spurt.

lets say you end up finding out that you were having not only a boy, they were going to be twin boys, kiri fucking fainted. he doubled everything in the nursery and even built an extra room for the second baby. kiri was ecstatic to say the least. he never thought he’d get twins !! you on the other hand went through another phase of grief knowing that you were carrying twins and that meant that kiri was going to be home more than you wanted him to be.

when you finally go into labor, kiri dropped everything he was doing and fucking SPEED RAN to the hospital. when he got there, you were already under epidural and trying to calm yourself down. the pain was unbearable, even with the epidural. he could see the pain on your face and wanted to cry right along with you. you were even holding onto him, hoping that he did something right for once and tried to calm you down.

when you finally gave birth, kiri bawled like a child. they were both out within a few minutes and while you held one baby, kiri held the other. they had his black hair and your skin tone. he had never seen three beautiful people in his life and here you were, his wife and kids. his life was complete.

tamaki amajiki:

okay cool, tamaki is not horrible yandere so you’re relatively safe for the most part. the thing with tamaki that makes it unbearable to live with is that you can’t do shit. he’s terrified of you even breathing the wrong way tbh. he won’t let you leave the house bc he’s afraid something will happen to you.

the day you found out you were pregnant with his baby, it was bittersweet. you were excited bc although he had abducted and was holding you hostage in his home, tamaki as a person was not a horrible person. he wasn’t mirio and he def wasn’t nejire. you had been feeling sick for a while and every morning you woke up you ran to the bathroom vomiting your guts out.

you refused to tell tamaki bc you knew he would go into full panic if you did. you just had told mirio in secret to bring you a test and drop it off. when he did, you quickly ran to the bathroom and took the test. you were clawing the counter in a bout of anxiety and as soon as the clear blue test rang up positive, you felt dizzy in the head and fell on top of mirio who had offered to stay.

he quickly fanned you as he basically screamed to tamaki to get his ass home. tamaki had dropped everything he was doing and ran to his house. he had no idea why mirio was there and bc the emergency was abt you, he booked it even faster. when he finally got there, you were chugging back a hydroflask full of water and murmured to him the news.

tamaki basically passed out three different times hearing the news. it took mirio, a call to nejire, and yourself to get him out of it. when he finally stopped fainting and realized what you had said, he gave you a long hug, murmuring that finally it happened. he had been wanting kids for so long, as weird as it sounds. he was nervous wreck almost all the time but he wanted to continue his family line with you and hopefully they ended up with your personality.

he scheduled your first doctor appointment a few weeks later and at that appointment, the two of you had found out the exact date and gender. you were having a baby girl !! tamaki was dumbfounded. he was expecting a boy but he wasn’t complaining. he was getting a mini you !! another to love and take care of. that meant that no hero course for his baby girl. nope !! business or support course at the very least.

her nursery consisted of small sun eater figures and outfits. every now and again, he would had lemillion and nejire-chan themed things. your daughter would have mini outfits of all three of them and would have plushies of the three of them in the crib. hell, even the crib set was the big three themed. he and mirio had painted a mural for her and added photos of all four of you to make sure that even if his daughter didn’t have anyone to be her friend, the four of you would always be there.

he didn’t take your change in moods well. frankly, he was terrified of you. there would be days where you would unleash your anger like never before and other days, you’d be sobbing to him. the food you did make though was AMAZING. it was a weird combination that always turned out amazing at the end.

fat gum and kirishima were surprised but excited to hear the news. they bought her a bunch of red riot and fat gum themed clothes as well and fat gum would even bring you food when he was in the area. you were so important to tamaki and he knew that so he had to make sure that you were also important to him too. tamaki upon telling mirio and nejire that you were pregnant told them they were the god parents so they were almost just as protective over you like tamaki was.

the day you gave birth, tamaki was home with you. you were just laying in bed when your water broke and he drove you to the hospital like he was in fast and furious. you were taken back by his actions but he practically screamed at the nurses as soon as you arrived to help you. he made sure to scream to them to give you epidural the minute you asked and if any of them even slipped up once, tamaki would have blood on his hands a few days later, making sure he took care of those useless nurses and doctors. tamaki in this setting was not one to mess with, that’s to say the least.

when you finally gave birth, he cried a bit but not as much as you expected. the time he did cry was when he held his daughter and looked at the two of you. his life was perfect. you had a healthy daughter and you were relatively okay yourself post-birth. the only other time he cried was when he made the three-way call to mirio, fat gum, and nejire to tell them you had finally given birth and all of you were okay.

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sunfoxfic · 3 years

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about my recent post over the Sentimonster Adrien Agreste theory and how different people with the same trauma may have opposing representation needs: that was a conclusion I reached a long time ago, and something I think I may take for granted. Because -- well, okay.

I have half siblings. Two older half sisters. I've known them all my life, they've always been there. My parents are divorced, and I half a step mother.

I can count on one hand the number of stories in the world that have resonated with my family dynamic.

And it was while I watched The Dragon Prince that I realized how much I loved seeing Ezran and Callum's relationship not only being explored, but being plot relevant. They're half brothers! Harrow and Callum have a complicated relationship, but one of love nonetheless! They like each other and spend time together!

The fact that Callum and Ez are half siblings isn't lost to the characters. They discuss it, and it matters in their relationship, even if it's subtle at times. And it's not lost to the plot, either. The story is fundamentally a fantasy political drama, and so seeing Callum called "step prince" by Soren, and generally just seeing him struggle under his role in the castle because he's a prince but not in the way Ez is, he's a step prince, Harrow is his step father, Ezran thinks Callum should call Harrow dad but that's not really right, Harrow doesn't know how much distance he needs to give to be respectful to Callum's birth father, etc. etc. etc. It made it real, and realistic.

It excited me. That's the only story I know of that explores half sibling dynamics in full the way other fantasy political dramas explore other family dynamics. I can name other siblings in political dramas who have conflict because of their place in the royal family, and I can name other siblings who have wholesome but still complex relationships.

That was the first time I ever saw that in half siblings.

It felt really good to know that this part of me, this part of my family, that has caused drama and trauma, it can be plot relevant. It is a hard weight to bear at times, and the show knows that, but as much as it can be difficult, it's also fun to have half siblings. And wholesome. And oftentimes it's just unbearably normal.

I know that having half siblings isn't the same as being abused by a parent. I get that. But when I first watched The Dragon Prince, I rewatched it six times in a row because I loved it so much. There was a thrill in knowing not only that I could be the hero, but that I could be the hero because I have half siblings. Because I have suffered through feeling inadequate and weird for my sisters, because I was forced to deconstruct the way society conditioned me to hate my family, because I have gone through the trauma that I went through.

I can count on one hand the number of stories I know that resonate with my family dynamic. I'm sure more exist out there, but that's beside the point. The point is, I watched The Dragon Prince six times after I first saw it, and I cried when I watched the music video to My Play by AJR. The point is that some people want to see themselves as heroes because they've gone through hardship, not in spite of that hardship. And some people want escape from that hardship, and that's okay, but.

I'm writing a fic right now about Alya. I've completely changed her family to halfway resemble mine. And I really, really hope someone reads this fic someday and feels a little bit better about their divorced parents, or their half siblings, or their stepparent, or whoever. I hope they feel the way I did when I watched The Dragon Prince. I hope they know that their family isn't a footnote in their biography, that it can be plot relevant, and that doesn't make it any better or worse, but for me, it very much made it real.

I hope people feel better thinking about Sentimonster Adrien Agreste.

I hope someone feels better reading this.

#sentimonster adrien agreste #adrien agreste is a sentimonster #sentimonster adrien theory #the dragon prince #personal #i think i really needed to type this out

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pink-imagines · 4 years

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bad day

request: Hi. I'm going through a rough patch rn (someone I thought of as a best friend stabbed me in the back) and it's really hard. I was wondering how Bakugou, Kirishima, and Twice (if you write for him) would react to their normally perky s.o. suddenly being to upset to even get out of bed. Thank you so much.

a/n: i hope this helps a little bit. loosing friends is hard but you can’t do anything to stop it. i hope you feel better soon, i’ll post the ones with kirishima and twice soon!

warnings: crying and slight angst, otherwise very fluffy

masterlist

requesting rules

Katsuki Bakugo

It had been a while since the two of you had started dating, you had actually just moved in together. Though you had taken your relationship pretty far you hadn’t really cried in front of him, or exposed any negative emotions to him. Sure, you’d fought like any other couple but it was always easily solved and no tears had to be shed.

Today, however, was unlike any other day - in the sense that you weren’t your usual happy self. You were always the moodsetter in a group, the happy one who always made others laugh. Maybe that’s why everyone was kind of confused by Katsuki and your relationship, as you seemed like two opposites on the outside. Either way, today you didn’t feel like you usually presented yourself and you were way too tired to even try to pretend like you’re happy - which was often what happened on your bad days.

When you woke up that morning Katsuki was already out of bed, and most likely already at the agency. You reached for your phone and called into your work, explaining that you were feeling sick and that you couldn’t come in for the day. It wasn’t a complete lie as you weren’t feeling well, but it’s not like you were physically sick. When you put back your phone on your bedside table you immeditately crawled back under the covers and curled up in a little ball. You didn’t want to get up. You didn’t even have the energy to move at all.

Eventually you had to go to the bathroom, even if you really didn’t want to get out of bed. You forced yourself out of the comfortable covers and walked over to the bathroom, on the way you walked past a clock and you noted that it was in fact already noon. More exact, it was already 5 pm and you had slept through the entire day. Grumpily, you made your way to the bathroom and did your business rather quickly. When you were washing your hands you looked up at the mirror, seeing someone who you couldn’t actually recognize. You touched your cheek and then let your hand run through your very tangled hair. With a sigh you looked away from your reflection and went back to the bedroom. You looked through Katsuki’s closet and took out a hoodie of his. All you wanted right now was for him to come home and hug you tightly, but for now one of his hoodies would have to do.

Over the past few hours you phone had been blow up with messages, from social media, to text, to emails. You felt a sense of overwhelming stress by just looking at your phone. You hadn’t showered, hadn’t eaten, and you hadn’t done any work what so ever. To say the least, you felt absolutely useless and shitty. There were no messages from Katsuki, meaning that he was probably out for a shift at the moment and would be home late. With dreaded steps you walked over to the bed and crawled back under the covers.

After a while your neighbors, living above you, started watching TV. This wasn’t usually a problem but, with all the stress building up around you, the noise was becoming unbearable. You felt the tears brimming up in your eyes and you choked out a sob. All you wanted was a hug... would he even want to hug you now that you were such a total mess? You were always so happy, what if this wasn’t what he had “signed up for”? It didn’t matter, he wouldn’t be home until you were supposed to be asleep and so you let your sobs sound through the room.

You couldn’t hear Katsuki putting the key in the keyhole and opening the door. You couldn’t hear him kicking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket. You definitely didn’t hear him walk into the bedroom... but you did hear him call out to you. “Baby? You okay?”, he asked and your whimpered immediately quieted down. He sat down on the bed, making it tilt slightly, and he put his hand softly on your shoulder. You wouldn’t answer him. “I gotta take a shower, okay? Come out to the kitchen if you feel like it and I’ll make you some food.”, he said and got up. You heard him take clean clothes out of his wardrobe and take them to the bathroom. Hearing him leave made your heart ache but you hadn’t exactly done anything to make him stay.

Eventually you heard the water running in the other room and you sat up in bed. You dried away your tears with the cuffs on Katsuki’s hoodie. For a while you sat there and stared out the window through the small gap in the curtains, as you hadn’t bothered with opening them today. You listened to the shower running... and then it turning off... and then Katsuki walking around the bathroom, only to later walk into the kitchen.

After a while of listening to him making something in the kitchen you decided to get out of bed. Suddenly you remembered that you hadn’t eaten all day and you got extremely hungry. Katsuki was standing in his sweatpants and hoodie, what he usually wore at home, but he couldn’t look more handsome in your eyes. His hair was ruffled around and still damp from the shower. Normally you’d never do this, but you didn’t care tonight and you wrapped your arms around him from behind. You felt him stiffen before relaxing under your touch as he kept stirring around things on the stove. “Have you eaten at all today?”, he was way more quiet than usual. You shook your head and let out a sound that was supposed to resemble a “no”. He let out a sigh and turned off the stove, turning around to look at you. “Did you go to bed early?”, he asked. “... no.”, you managed to croak out and you didn’t dare look him in the eye. “... you were in bed all day?”, he asked again and you nodded in response. He sucked in a sharp breath and you were ready for the weird comments or the negative statements... but they never came. Instead Katsuki wrapped his arms around you and pressed your head against his chest. You could hear his heart racing, and even though the sound was calming you couldn’t help but to shed a few tears of relief that you were finally in his arms. “Had a bad day, huh?”, he said softly and you nodded, “It’s okay... let’s get you some food and then I’ll tuck you in.” “... I have to shower...”, you whispered hoarsly. “Then I’ll get the bath ready while you eat, okay?”, he never spoke this softly to you, “I’ll try to see if I could get off work earlier tomorrow too.” “... thank you, Katsuki...”, you muttered against his chest. Before he could say anything else, your grumbling stomach interrupted him. “Food’s ready. Sit down, would you?”, he motioned for you to sit down by the dinner table.

Once you had eaten dinner Katsuki came back from the bathroom saying that your bath was ready. You walked in there, got undressed and got into the perfectly warm bath. It felt like the bubbles around you were embracing you, as if you were on a cloud in the sky. You tilted your head back and relaxed your tensed up shoulders.

After a while the door to the bathroom opened once again and Katsuki stepped inside. He usually took his time with eating, as it was one of the times he could relax and just be with you. However, this time he had been very quick to be back to you - you hadn’t even started washing your hair. Katsuki grabbed the showerhead and tilted your head back slightly, so that he could rinse your hair off with warm water. “Is it too hot?”, he asked. “No... it’s perfect.”, you mumbled. He hummed in response and kept washing your hair as you closed your eyes in immense pleasure. It was like going to the hairsalon, except ten times better since you were in the comfort of your own home and you were with Katsuki. “Give me the shampoo bottle.”, he said suddenly. “Oh but I can-” Katsuki simply hushed you and motioned for the shampoo bottle. You reached for it and gave it to him, letting him put the shampoo in your hair and massage your scalp. You let out a pleased hum at his motions. “You don’t have to do this for me, you know?”, you muttered out to him. “You’ve had a bad day, let me pamper you.”, he huffed, “It’s not like I’ll do this for you all the time, alright?” You chuckled at his flusteredness over something as simple at this. There was a clear image of his red face in your head, making you smile a bit brighter. “This made my day a lot better... thank you.”, you told him softly. “Don’t worry about it.”, he breathed out, “Next time text me or something, I don’t want to come home to you hurting without me even knowing about it.” “I didn’t think you’d react like this to it...”, you shrugged, “... sorry.” “You don’t have to apologies.”, he shook his head slightly, “Just let me know next time, okay? I’ll try helping you.” “Okay.”, you nodded.

Once you were out of the bath Katsuki gave you a new set of sleepwear and you followed him to the bedroom after brushing your teeth.Like he said he would, Katsuki tucked you in and then crawled under the sheets himself. He pulled you close to his chest, where you snuggled up. “Goodnight, baby.”, he whispered. “Goodnight...”

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seirin613 · 3 years

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I wanted to do the comic on this story but in the end I decided to write it, because after all I never posted anything written here, so I decided to try this little story :3

the past of Classic

It was a perfect day, the sun was shining high in the sky and a light breeze blew that caressed the skin and bones of the couple, the skeleton was lying on the grass, holding his head resting on his arm, while the human had his head resting on the chest of the skeleton.

Several times the skeleton had asked the human if she would not be more comfortable in another position but she laughed and always replied that she was in her favorite place, close to him soul and this answer made the skeleton blush every time.

They were watching the few clouds pass in the sky when the human called it "Classic?"

Classic's gaze lowered, as far as possible, to the human and said "what's Chara?"

At that point Chara lifted her torso and looked the skeleton straight in the eye, her expression hinting at a slight concern "do... do you love me?" She then asked.

The question left Classic a bit confused, he didn't understand the need for a question like "of course I love you, but... why this question?"

"It's that ... ours is actually an arranged marriage ... to unite the myriad of monsters with that of humans and making our families stronger ... so ..." but she couldn't continue the sentence because Classic lifted him torso and put a hand to her face, juggling with her brown hair that he loved so much.

"hey, don't worry about this Chara, I really love you, it's true, ours is an arranged marriage, wanted by our parents to unite families but ... when I met you .... I realized that with you I would find happiness, in fact I am very happy now, because we will get married soon" he said as he drenched the tears that, moved by Classic's words, had begun to flow down her face

Chara smiled with tears still streaming down her face "you make me very happy too Classic, I'll do everything for you"

This was the memory that had resurfaced in Classic's mind as he watched, helpless, the scene.

Chara, his beloved Chara was torturing his brother Papyrus, saw him writhing in pain screaming and begging Chara to stop, asking for help from Classic but he was impaled on the ground and could not free himself due to the difference in strength between him and Chara who, being human, was stronger than him.

"Chara now enough! Why are you doing all this ?! Papyrus has never hurt anyone! Why are you hurting him !?" He cried out hoping that his words could have an effect on the human. His soul was split in two: on the one hand the anger at seeing his dear brother tortured so cruelly, on the other he was hurt by Chara, he really loved her and seeing her hurt Papyrus was unbearable.

But even worse was his response, Chara in fact hearing the words of Classic stopped, turned to the skeleton and looked at him as if he did not understand why Classic had reacted in that way. Then he smiled, but his smile had something strange, it was no longer that sweet smile that had made Classic fall in love, it was a smile that hid something twisted, sick "Don't you understand Classic? I'm doing it for us, him" and he pointed to Papyrus who was on the ground suffering and on the verge of death "he wants to separate us, but I won't allow it, you remember right? I'll do anything for you"

"W-what do you mean? Chara don't-!" But unfortunately he could not finish the sentence that Chara gave the coup de grace to Papyrus which slowly turned to dust.

It was too much, even though he loved the woman in front of him he could not forgive her for that gesture, he felt something in his soul spring up deep inside, the love he felt for Chara had turned into hatred and was setting his soul on fire, filling every single one phalanx of a magical power unknown to him until that moment, he did not know where that power came from but he didn't care, thanks to it he was able to free himself from the magic of Chara that blocked him to the ground and attacked her with all the fury.

Chara could not defend herself, both because she did not expect an attack from his beloved, and because Classic's strength was beyond the deadly limit. She ended up on the ground, suffering but still going thanks to her determination.

Classic was panting heavily from the strain and the excessive magic that emanated from his body, he couldn't explain the reason for that force, but now that he was no longer using it he felt his bones creak, as if he were being crushed by that absurd amount of magic, it was a sensation he had only felt when he was a child and his magic was out of control but now ... it was a hundred times worse, he had even created an ecto body to consume energy but it was tremendously unstable and painful as it was crushing him bones.

Eventually he was able to focus again on who had triggered that reaction in him; Chara. He approached her trying to think licidly about what to do, but between the physical and emotional pain the only thing he thought was to turn his brother back and never see Chara again. So he reached out a hand to the woman and unleashed all his energy by combining both white and black magic, he did it almost without thinking, as if it were instinctive, as if his soul knew what to do to have Papyrus again with him.

There was an explosion of lights without sound or pressure changes, as if watching a silent slide, then in place of the girl Papyrus returned, alive.

Classic was in pain but happy to know it had worked, he didn't care what consequences his gesture would bring, or so he thought.

In fact he couldn't even greet his brother, because before he woke up two creatures appeared, two skeletons, one completely black with tentacles and horns while the other was white and dressed in yellow, with a halo and wings, the first looked at him disgusted and annoyed, the second instead was very sorry but also annoyed.

"Stupid mortal, you have no idea of the misfortune your gesture will bring to this world. It is for people like you that this world is going to hell." said the black skeleton scolding Classic.

"Brother don't be so hard on him, he's just a mortal, he made a mistake but he can't understand concepts such as the balance of light and dark, plus it was still love that guided him" replied the other, he didn't seem to want to forgive Classic but still tried to understand it.

The black skeleton turned to look at his brother "love !? Don't tease me Dream! His soul was full of hate, his love was corrupted" he turned to look at Classic "and think he comes from that family. Deserves a adequate punishment. "

"I'm not saying to forgive him Nightmare, but to give him a chance to make up for his mistakes," Dream replied.

Nightmare sighed "okay, listen to me mortal good, we are the keepers of black magic and white magic, you have uncovered a forbidden power and for this reason you will now be punished, you will lose your physical remains and you will become a demon, you will live in the underworld and you will abandon the earthly world, the only way you will will be allowed to return will be in the form of a slave to the sorcerers with whom you can make a pact and get their souls, you will understand later what you will need" he said raising a hand towards Classic who began to feel something change in him, he had the sensation of becoming dust and yet he did not see his body disappear, on the contrary he clearly felt that something had appeared on his head and he felt a pain in his shoulder blades and sacrum and then clearly perceived the extra weight, horns had grown, a tail and demon wings.

"In addition since it was your ignorance that made you wrong you will have the gift of foresight, use it sparingly though because it will consume a lot of magic when you are on the mortal world" Dream added moving his hand and a small light hit Classic without hurting him.

Classic still hadn't been able to say a word since those two figures had appeared and before he could say anything a hole opened under his feet causing him to fall into the underworld to pay for his sins, he had died without even realizing it and he had left his brother alone.

But he still had to discover the worst part of what he had done.

#undertale au #undertale #undertale ship #demon! kustard #classic #chara #sans #chans #broken heart #austale #lost #death #Papyrus #betrayal

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fanficflaneuse · 4 years

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Let Me See It

A/N: So this is my very first Harry Potter imagine ever (it is, in fact, my very first fanfic ever). I’ve got a few things to say before we start. First, if anyone read the very long rant I wrote the other day (my first Tumblr post ever lol), I haven’t read all the books yet and I haven’t watched all the movies either. I’m currently on the third book. Why would I write a sixth year Draco imagine when I have virtually no canon idea about it? Well, my friends, I’ve read a lot of fanfiction and imagines about it so I kind of have all the main plot points and I wanted to give it a go. It’s absolutely self indulgent. Hopefully once I’ve finished all of the books my writing gets better. Also, English is not my first language, so if you find any mistakes, please tell me and I’ll correct it :) I hope it’s not too bad and I really hope you like it.

Details:

Draco Malfoy x Reader (She/her pronouns...If this goes right I’ll try my best to write gender neutral as well).

Word count: 1529

Summary: The reader is Harry’s friend and in a secret sort of relationship with Draco. She is the one who’s hit by the sectumsempra spell and wakes up in the hospital wing to an angsty/fluffy situation.

Warnings: my terrible writing, some angst, some fluff, perhaps a lot of wordiness, sectumsempra, soft Draco.

When (Y/N) woke up, she felt as though she had been drowning and could finally take a breath. Her whole body ached and her chest felt tender in the worst of ways, open even. Engrossed in the sensations, she didn’t pay much attention to her surroundings at first. Then she felt the raspy fabric of the infirmary’s bed and it all came back to her. The commotion in the bathroom, spells casted and dodged, the water gushing from the broken sinks, Moaning Myrtle’s shrieks…even remembering it gave her a headache.

When Harry had rushed to the girl’s bathroom, (Y/N) had been quick to follow him. When she got there, her best friend was already casting spells towards the boy she fancied. Draco seemed distraught. He was dishevelled and unkempt. He had grown thin and he was so pale that the bags under his eyes stood out. Shaking as he held his wand, he looked as though he was in the midst of a panic attack.

(Y/N) had noticed all of this, of course. Whenever they met he’d brush it off by telling her he was going through something rough. She had an idea of what it might have been, she had discussed it countless times with Harry (Ron and Hermione would usually dismiss them when they brought the topic up). So, when they had their secret rendezvous in the Astronomy Tower, she’d hold him as he cried. They’d talk about dreams and interests. They’d imagine different futures together. Sometimes they’d snog. Shyly or passionately, it’d feel wonderful until he’d tell her how it was dangerous for her, how he carried baggage she didn’t deserve. They weren’t a couple, but they certainly were past the “friends” category.

Seeing him standing there, standing helplessly against a sink, (Y/N) felt her heart shatter. She had to do something. Fast.

Draco wasn’t even thinking at the moment, casting spells left and right and making sure none of Potter’s hit him. Conjuring the first thing that came to mind, he was about to cast an unforgivable when he saw her, his beautiful (Y/N), standing wide eyed just a few steps away from Potter. He was about to tell her to leave when the scene unfolded in front of his eyes as if in slow motion. He saw (Y/N) running towards him, pushing him out of the way as Potter casted a spell he had never heard of. He heard her name leave Potter’s lips in a sob when she was hit. He saw her fall, lifeless, as her blood poured from her chest. He saw him running towards her, taking her in his arms. It all seemed unreal.

Then he heard Potter sobbing, babbling, begging her to wake up: “(Y/N/N), (Y/N/N) please, open your eyes. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”.

He held her to his chest. And Draco, enraged and panicked, ran towards both of them.

“What did you do, Potter? Fix it, fix it I am begging you,” he pleaded as he tried to take (Y/N) from his arms. She was growing paler by the minute, her uniform soaked in so much blood it made Draco sick.

“Don’t touch her, death eater,” he spat as he rocked her back and forth in his chest and sobbed.

“Fix it!” he barked.

“I…I don’t know how,” babbled Harry, holding even tighter to his best friend.

They both looked at her helplessly, hoping for a miracle. Guilt-ridden, Draco started sobbing as well. He fancied her. Merlin, he could even swear he loved her. She saw the good in him when nobody else had bothered to even try. She overlooked how nasty he had been to her friends and even to her in the past. She showed him the meaning of true friendship, opened her heart to him to give him nothing but love and care. By her side, he started considering different ways of conceiving the world. She believed in him as he evolved into a person who hated everything the mark under on his left forearm meant. In the last year and a half, (Y/N) had become the person he probably cared for the most (apart from his parents, if the Dark Mark was a testament to something). Now she was there, bleeding on the cold, wet floor of Myrtle’s bathroom as the two boys and the ghostly girl sobbed for her.

After what seemed like hours, the miracle did come…in the form of Professor Snape. He quickly chanted a counter spell he had never heard of either. Draco concluded his aunt Bellatrix wasn’t a very good teacher as she was the one who taught him every Dark spell he knew. With one icy glare, Snape got Harry to let go of (Y/N) and took her to the hospital wing. Both boys followed behind him, their bloodied clothes alarming the whole school.

Three days later, both of them were still there, glaring at each other, waiting for (Y/N) to wake up. There were times when Draco thought she’d stay in her stupor forever. He buried his face in his hands, feeling empty and guilty, until he heard a gasp. She had woken up.

Draco rushed from his seat and took her hand. Harry had done just the same. As she squeezed both their hands, Draco and Harry shared a sigh.

“I am so sorry, (Y/N/N). I didn’t – “

“Don’t even start, Harry. I’ll scold you later,” (Y/N) interrupted. Even though she felt tired, (Y/N)’s voice had a bit of playfulness in it, which humoured Harry and brought warmth into Draco’s heart. (Y/N) gave Harry a meaningful look; her way of telling him she needed to talk to the Slytherin in private. He gave her a curt nod, not very convinced, but still let go of her hand.

“I’ll come later with Ron and ‘Mione,” he said.

Draco gave him a thankful nod as Harry closed the curtain around them. His heart was pounding hard as silence engulfed them again. Their eyes met. He felt relieved that she was with him, but also uneasy and guilty. (Y/N)’s eyes travelled to his left arm. She swallowed hard.

“Let me see it,” she said, her voice devoid of emotion.

Draco held his breath. His eyebrows furrowed in sorrow. He didn’t put up a fight when (Y/N) took his arm and gently pushed his sleeve up. (Y/N) knew what she would probably find under the sleeve. She thought she was prepared. And, of course, she wasn’t. She gasped loudly as she saw the black snake protruding from a skull’s mouth. She looked at the blond Slytherin, feeling the pain and disappointment seeping from her gaze, as well as a couple of tears. He didn’t meet her eyes. He was ashamed. The guilt, the pain, and the self-hatred were eating him up.

(Y/N) saw a few tears silently slipping from his eyes and her heart broke again. Draco sobbed. He was certain he had lost her now.

“I am so sorry, (Y/N/N). They made me do it. I had no choice…He’s going to kill my parents and I can’t –,” his pathetic little apology was cut short by his sobs. He was certain he was a bad person, but having to hold himself accountable in front of the one person that truly saw him for who he was felt unbearable.

He felt (Y/N)’s fingers gently caressing the dreadful mark. He mustered all of his courage to look at her and found a sympathetic expression that made him feel better. She pulled him to her and he gave her a hug. Draco started crying again.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault,” he cried, bringing her closer to his chest as though she could disappear any minute.

She pushed him just a little, enough to allow her hands to travel to his face and clean his tears with her thumbs.

“Shh, Dray. Don’t cry. I know that mark isn’t you. I trust it isn’t you. I know you wouldn’t join them on your own volition,” she soothed.

(Y/N) made room for him on her bed and he slither in, careful not to hurt her in any way. He buried his face on (Y/N)’s neck as she whispered sweet nothings in his ear. She caressed his hair gently as Draco sniffled. He was still heavyhearted, but she felt like home and it made his heart swell.

“Dray”

“Yes?”

She thought about making him promise to make it right, to fight by her side. But she felt tired. Her body still ached. And, regardless of the circumstances, snuggling up to him felt wonderful. So, she closed her eyes and blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.

“I love you,” she said almost inaudibly. Draco was so close he heard alright. He couldn’t believe she had actually said those three words for the first time under the circumstances. He didn’t hesitate to answer back.

“I love you too, (Y/N/N)”.

When Madam Pomfrey came around and opened the curtain, she found both (Y/N) and Draco fast asleep. Draco’s face was very close to (Y/N)’s neck. One of her hands was still buried in his platinum hair. And they looked so peaceful, the healer could only close the curtain and let them rest.

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hpanimagusfest · 3 years

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Animagus Masterlist - Creators Revealed

We would like to thank everybody who has made this fest such a success, whether as a prompter, creator, or reader! We hope the featured fics, art, and podfics have brought you happiness in these crazy times we’re living in. Now, without further ado, may we proudly present the HP Animagus Fest 2021 Masterlist.

ART

Title: The Whirling Ways of Stars That Pass Artist: Bluebutter @bluebutter-art Rating: Gen Art Medium: Digital Art Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Prompt: #30 Summary:

Being a polar bear Animagi makes Harry crave holidays and time in icy places like Iceland and the North Pole, which is why Harry and Draco decide to spend their first holiday together to see the beautiful Northern Lights. There's just one tiny problem: Draco hates the cold.

That's okay though. He can get warm cuddling in his lover's soft fur.

See on AO3

PODFICS

Title: [Podfic] Harry's Wolves by dracogotgame Podficcer: Thunder_of_Dragons @thunder-of-dragons Original Author: dracogotgame Rating: Gen Length: 12 minutes Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Summary:

Harry wakes up to an empty bed and wolves in the garden.

Listen on AO3

Title: [Podfic] Of mammals, birds and reptiles by Jessa_yeah Podficcer: Thunder_of_Dragons @thunder-of-dragons Original Author: Jessa_yeah Rating: Gen Length: 12 minutes Pairing: Hermione Granger/Ginny Weasley, Rolanda Hooch/Minerva McGonagall/Pomona Sprout Summary:

Post-war Hogwarts. A small note appears on the announcement board in the hall, offering extracurricular courses. Ginny and Hermione sign up. Something new builds from there - something good. A story about healing, growth, hope, love and comfort.

Listen on AO3

Title: [Podfic] I Loved You Like The Fall Of Rome by pansexual_intellectual Podficcer: bluedreaming @porcelainsalt Original Author: pansexual_intellectual Rating: Mature Length: 1 hour, 24 minutes Pairing: Regulus Black/Lily Evans Summary:

Lily Evans looks at Regulus Black, across a vast, seemingly uncrossable, expanse, and thinks maybe. Eyes lingering over green-and-silver, and a heartbreakingly beautiful boy amidst them all, she thinks, I wonder.

Listen on AO3

FICS

Title: Old wounds never fully heal Author: Lillycatdani11 @alyssadani19 Rating: Teen Word Count: 1,008 Pairing: Sirius Black/Hermione Granger Prompt: #14 Summary:

Sirius helps Hermione after her bad day at work.

Read on AO3

Title: Saved by a snake Author: Jessa_yeah @thefisherqueen Rating: Gen Word Count: 2,003 Pairing: Minerva McGonagall/Poppy Pomfrey Prompt: #99 Summary:

Barely a month into her new job at Hogwarts, Poppy Pomfrey spots a kitty in trouble. She rushes to help - but the 'kitty' in question has some opinions on this.

Read on AO3

Title: Keep Me Close Author: MarchnoGirl @drarryruinedme7 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2,082 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Prompt: #32 Summary:

Draco Malfoy is always tidy. Perfect. Not a strand of hair out of place. Enter Harry Potter and a certain quality of his…

Read on AO3

Title: Sign Author: Samunderthelights @samunderthelights Rating: General Word Count: 2,511 Pairing: Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter Prompt: #124 Summary: When Teddy had rejected his kiss, James didn’t think things could get any more embarrassing than that. But when - after months of hard work - he finally transforms into his Animagus form for the first time, things get a lot more embarrassing.

Read on AO3

Title: What We Find Beneath it All Author: SumthinClever @welcome-to-fandomonium Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4,591 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Prompt: #29 Summary:

Harry's animagus is an octopus. He eventually convinces Draco to join him beneath the Black Lake and they explore what hides beneath the lake and each other.

Read on AO3

Title: as the crow flies Author: saltwatergarden @talkingtravesties Rating: Teen Word Count: 5,452 Pairing: Draco/Harry Prompt: #84 Summary:

Harry Potter is a lot of things - hero of the Wizarding World, best friend to Auror extraordinaire Ron Weasley and certifiable genius Hermione Granger, heir to the Sleekeazy potions empire. He is also an Animagus, like his father and godfather before him. Problem is, he hasn't quite mastered the task of transforming back into his human form. Bigger problem is, he's just been captured by Draco Malfoy's owl.

Read on AO3

Title: Hoarding Day Author: Archaic_Nepenthes @mod-and-his-flight Rating: Teen Word Count: 6,133 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Prompt: #1 Summary:

Dragon Appreciation Day is something else when it comes to appreciating Draco Malfoy.

Read on AO3

Title: Recurring Theme Author: miscnine @unstrrdy Rating: Gen Word Count: 6,736 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Prompt: #27 Summary:

Draco just wanted to go home. Just as he was gathering himself—at least, enough to go on and do exactly that, he was startled by a particularly harsh ripple in the apparition point—then four things happened.

Draco wants a lot of things. He wants to redeem himself to the public eye as foolishly hopeless as it sounds. He wants his mother to leave him out of her plans to reclaim control over her life. He wants to get his shit together more than anything. At least, he did. Now, he's fallen prey to his own predator and constantly has to reign in the greedy dragon that wanted something from Harry Potter—"who, by the way, had just come back to England after seven years of healing dragon tamers in Romania and finally getting the therapy he needed, did you know that? Did you?”

Read on AO3

Title: The Owl in Myth and Magic Author: Aneiria @aneiria-writes Rating: Mature Word Count: 7,156 Pairing: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Prompt: #85 Summary:

Draco Malfoy has a secret, and if he wants to keep it that way, he’s going to have to show Hermione Granger how to have one too.

Even if it is a secret so complex and dangerous that they’re going to have to spend more time together than either of them had planned for their eighth year of Hogwarts...

Read on AO3

Title: Harry Potter and the Mysterious Snowy Owl Affair Author: Ladderofyears @ladderofyears Rating: Teen Word Count: 8,683 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Prompt: Self-prompt Summary:

Harry Potter is the newly promoted Head Officer for the Department of Magical Creature Regulation, and he is passionate about his work protecting vulnerable animals who can’t advocate for themselves. An added benefit of the job is the close relationship that he had developed with his colleague, Wizengamot prosecution barrister Draco Malfoy. Harry’s life is happy and he feels satisfied with his place in the world.

Abruptly, Harry’s happy existence is thrown into disarray when a small snowy owl starts dropping tip-offs about magical creature crimes to Grimmauld Place.

Harry isn’t sure what to think. Is his benefactor a friend or foe? Why are they making such stringent efforts to conceal their identity? Draco doesn’t seem concerned, but Harry can’t help but feel intrigued by the mystery. Who is the wizard behind the owl?

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Title: ANI101: Introduction to Animagus Author: Aelys_Althea @aelysalthea Rating: Mature Word Count: 12,314 Pairing: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin (Gen), Marauders (Gen) Prompt: #69 Summary:

Remus has secrets. Lots of secrets, but one in particular that Sirius is determined to sniff out. When he, James, and Peter put their detective skills to action, they discover a truth far beyond what any of them could have imagined.

What they would make of that truth, though - that was the real question. Sirius was nothing if not a dog with a bone, and he was determined to do something about it.

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Title: Commander Author: Cassiopeias_shadow @cassiopeiasshadow Rating: Explicit Word Count: 14,167 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Prompt: #44 Summary:

There was a hiss to his right. It was him. Potter. The adder with the lightning bolt on his back. Draco nearly cried with relief.

“Potter, thank fuck, let me - oh,” Draco said, once he had crawled underneath the stone, into the crevice where Potter was hiding. It was soaked in blood, just like the rest of the room, and the blood was coming from slashes on Potter’s white, scaly belly. Draco picked the snake up and cradled it to his chest. It wrapped itself weakly around his arm and nestled up to the warmth of Draco’s body, barely moving.

“That’s right,” Draco said, trying his best to sound comforting. The snake’s heart beat against his palm, unbearably precious. Draco’s cheeks were wet.

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Title: Hibou Author: worldcrawler @worldcrawlerhp Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15,075 Pairing: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Prompt: #77 Summary:

"Draco Malfoy had squared with the fact that he rarely succeeded in things at first. His whole life could be read as a series of failures that eventually became successes.

It was no surprise then, in retrospect, that he had failed to become an animagus not once, but twice before finally succeeding."

This is a story about failure and understanding, about success and honesty, and about two idiots in love trying to solve two very different mysteries - brought together through a series of chance encounters in the highland forests.

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Title: Dog-Star and Lion-Heart Author: unspeakable3 @unspeakable3 Rating: Teen Word Count: 15,932 Pairings: Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Sirius Black & James Potter Prompt: #98 Summary:

After Sirius leaves home, the only way that Regulus will allow his brother anywhere near him is when Sirius is in dog-form. Regulus has no idea that the Grim-like creature he shares secrets and bacon sandwiches with is his brother. He has no idea, that is, until he tries to say goodbye to ‘Snuffles’ for the last time, and his canine friend finally reveals his human form.

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Title: Worth Sharing Author: flightytemptress27 @flightytemptress27 Rating: Teen Word Count: 16,829 Pairings: Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter, Teddy Lupin/Victoire Weasley, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Prompt: #23 Summary:

Despite what it originally seemed, Teddy has inherited his father's lycanthropy. Things are very different for Teddy, but perhaps not always in the best way.

James Sirius Potter loves his best friend Teddy and just wants to do what he can to care for him, even if it's dangerous.

A coming of age story beginning with Teddy's third year at Hogwarts and ending with James' final year. A story in which Harry does his absolute best as a godfather, Teddy struggles to accept himself, and James flies.

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Title: The Last of What the World Left You Author: xanthippe74 @xanthippe74 Rating: Teen Word Count: 25,153 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Prompt: Self-prompt Summary:

If the wizarding world won’t give Draco a second chance, he has a plan to survive: live in his Animagus form, a carrion crow, in the Forbidden Forest. Not only does Harry Potter come along and ruin it, he’s radiating a strange aura of power that Draco should probably fear, but doesn’t. With nowhere to go and a Life-Debt to his mother that Potter insists on repaying, Draco puts himself into the hands of the reclusive Boy Who Lived. Will the bleak corner of Yorkshire where Potter makes his home be another dead end or an unexpected refuge?

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Title: Night Visitor Author: Kiwi05622 @kiwi05622 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 111,960 Pairing: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Prompt: Self-prompt Summary:

His apology came to her on the wings of moonlight. Her response returned to him in delayed indifference. This is Draco Malfoy's journey seeking forgiveness from his past misdeeds and finds redemption through their letters while a prisoner of Azkaban.

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#hpanimagusfest #hpfests #hp fanfic #hp podfic #drarry fanart #masterlist

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livingforthewhump · 3 years

Note

Ooooo could you do stitched mouth shut with Caroline and Palidan? I am LOVING the series!!

- @cherrywhump

Blue for requested; red for posted.

First Previous Next

—

“I think it’s safe to say you’ve learned your lesson,” Paladin said, standing over her crumpled form. She whimpered and squeezed her eyes shut.

Then he kicked her, for no reason at all than to hear her paIin-laden gasp. To watch her curl in on herself again, arms hanging uselessly behind her, pulled too far that way so that even with the rope gone, she couldn’t right them without causing her unbearable agony.

“Just to be sure,” he knelt down and swept her hair out of her face, cradling it in her hands and studying her uneven breaths, her heavy-lidded eyes, the crease between her eyebrows, the tears glistening just beneath the surface. She was beautiful, broken like this.

“Just to be sure,” he repeated, watching her eyes struggle to focus, “why don’t you tell me what you’ve learned, hm?”

“I belong to you,” Caroline said stiltedly, tears tracking down her face as her eyes fell away from Paladin’s. He tutted warningly, and she instantly looked at him again, taking a deep breath. “I don’t get to ask for things, or argue, or pull away, or fight you. You know what’s best for me and my job is to be obedient- to be good for you.”

He nodded, eyes twinkling. “Very good, doll. You’re here to be used, yes?”

“Ye-” She started, interrupting herself with a sob. “Yes.”

“Good. Now, are you ready to get back out there?”

Caroline whined. “Will, will you heal me first?” she asked softly.

Paladin raised an eyebrow, the gentleness leaving his expression, and the crease between her eyebrows deepened.

“I don’t see that as any of your concern. Is it, doll?”

“No, no, I’m sorry. I’m ready, I’ll do it.” She swallowed. “I won’t fight you.”

“I didn’t think so,” Paladin said, reaching down to grab her by the shoulders and turn her onto her stomach. His hands wrapped around her tremoring shoulders, his power sinking in and mending what was broOken. “There, see? You need to trust me to give you what you need.”

“Thank you,” she breathed, flexing her fingers and aching to work out the soreness in her arms, but she dared not move without Paladin’s permission.

He nodded, admiring her obedience. “Sit up, now, doll.”

She pulled her arms in front of her, gasping weakly at the feeling returning to her sore muscles, and propped herself into a sitting position. Everything ached, but honestly, she was used to that by now.

Paladin was examining her, something in his expression that she definitely didn’t like. “Here’s the thing, doll.” He reached out and took her chin in his hand, fingers digging into her cheeks. “Even though you’ve said you’ll be good, I don’t have any reason to believe you. You had been perfectly obedient before your recent lapse, so I want to make sure.”

She made a pathetic whining noise in the back of her throat. Oh, she had been a fool to think he would leave her alone now.

A small smile crossed Paladin’s lips. “I have an idea,” he said in a tone that made ice shoot down her veins. He stood up and disappeared for a still, silent moment, then returned with a needle and black thread tucked neatly in his palm.

She stared at him, disbelieving. In shock and horror.

“I figure black would mark as a good reminder of who you belong to.”

“What are you about to do?” she asked with a quavering voice.

Paladin knelt in front of her and she shied back on instinct before forcing herself to sit still. “I am going to teach you to close your mouth, doll. You don’t speak unless I let you.”

Caroline didn’t talk back. That didn’t stop him, though.

He said something about not trusting her to sit still as he straddled her legs. She couldn’t hear him very well over the terrible roaring in her ears. She wasn’t pretty sure she was crying, but she couldn’t feel it.

Paladin wiped her cheeks with his sleeve. “You look precious, doll, but I do need you to be still for this.”

He threaded the needle deftly, cupping one hand behind her head to stop her from leaning away. His face hovered in much too close to hers, the relentless pound of her heart disrupting her breathing. Paladin licked his lips, looking horribly focused- which, she supposed, it was better to have this done by someone focused rather than someone distracted. Then she amended that that was a pathetic thought to have.

The needle pressed against the edge of her lip, a pinpoint of cold. She screwed her eyes shut.

“There you go, doll,” he murmured, breath hot right where the needle sat, and instantly there was a piercing heat as it pressed through her skin. She instantly tried to pull away, but Paladin’s hand held her head still.

The thread went through easier after the first stitch which soaked it with blood. Each second was a horrible pain, followed by the unsettling sensation of thread being pulled through her skin. A kind of itchy tugging, and then there was only the continual pulling that kept her mouth shut. He pulled the thread tight, so there was no room for movement.

Paladin released her head and leaned back to admire his work. “That looks beautiful,” he said, wiping tears off her face. “Do try not to cry too much, doll. I wouldn’t want your nose to get too stuffy for you to breathe.”

Caroline ducked her face down in an attempt to smother her tears and was unprepared when Paladin seized control.

Hugo thought there was something off about the villain. He was watching her from the top of a two-story building, trying to work it out. She hadn’t responded to him even once. She’d barely looked at him. Maybe it was only a matter of wounded pride, but that seemed odd to him. And then there was the matter of Paladin showing up.

She’d looked at him. Although, who wouldn’t? Snake though he was, he was unfairly attractive.

But then she’d looked at Hugo too.

Don’t leave me.

Why would she say that? She didn’t say anything after that. In fact, she’d cried out and reacted like she’d been hit, then gone right back to ignoring him. It was unsettling. Her movements seemed strangely rehearsed, too, though he was probably just imagining it.

She was walking along the building he was on, now, and he slid down a drainage pipe to meet her. After all, dramatic entrances were key. And maybe if she was afraid of Paladin (which was his current and only hypothesis), she would talk to him before Paladin got here.

“I see you’ve managed to escape our city’s dear hero and his wiles yet again,” Hugo commented. “You may want to stop while you’re ahead.”

The girl faced away from him, not responding or reacting at all.

He put on a wounded expression. “Of course, I’m not saying he’s more powerful than you. There’s no reason to give me the silent treatment.”

Without looking, she shot a blast of power at him. He rebounded it back onto her, taking her off guard and knocking her over.

Hugo walked over to her, reaching a hand out to help her up.

And stopped dead in his tracks.

Her hair was splayed across her face, but he could still see the tear tracks running down her cheeks- and the thick black thread holding her mouth closed.

He stared, feeling sick to his stomach even as he knew with a horrible certainty that Paladin was behind this. And that this was not the first thing he had done to her.

But Paladin had already threatened his family if he didn’t leave her alone. And as tempting as it was to let Paladin have them after all they had done, he knew he wouldn't.

And so, like the coward he is, Hugo ran.

—

Tag list (message me if you want to be added or removed): @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @twistedcaretaker @lonesome--hunter @poppys-writing @endless-whump @jkoo7jkoo5-baby-susan @multifandoms-multishipper @shadowylemon @cherryblossomskye @utopian819 @whumpkitty @whole-and-apart-and-between @written-to-death @ill-eat-you-if-you-cross-me @villain-enthusiast @hurting-fictional-people @kixngiggles @onestopheroxvillain @lave-whump @bibliophilelifestyle @tropes-for-my-md-daydreams @1phoenixfeather

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guessimwritingficsagain · 3 years

Text

To Be Seen, Part Seven

Warnings : depression

Author's note : I based my depiction of Frankie's wife on the movie Laggies that I mentioned before. It's not exactly the same thing but I liked the way the mom was depicted in the movie and how, in the end, everybody made mistakes. I'm still very sad Lynn Shelton left us. So I guess, in a way, this is dedicated to her.

Chapter One ; Chapter Two ; Chapter Three ; Chapter Four ; Chapter Five ; Chapter Six

------

Two weeks later, you broke down. You’d felt it coming, used as you were to that grey cloud slowly sneaking its way into your brain. You called in sick on a Saturday night and turned off your phone, not even feeling guilty about that.

Linda had had her meeting with her ex, and they’d both been tentatively hanging out, trying to fix something that was so broken you didn’t know if there was ever a chance it could be fixed. You’d stayed out of the way, of course. You hadn’t spoken to Linda except for the occasional text to check on her. That left a sinking feeling in your stomach, one that came with the realization that even though you considered Linda your friend, you were also her ex, first and foremost, and though she didn’t mind poking into your love life, she seemed reluctant for you to know about hers. Even though you couldn’t really blame her, that heaviness never went away. That was the first sign.

Jessie’s story was something else altogether. James and Will had set up a tight sleeping schedule at Jessie’s house - a tight schedule of following her to work and staying with her all day, too. Will had involved all the boys except Frankie. They were taking turn watching her, making sure she and her kid were safe. You’d managed to talk them out of going to the guy’s place and beating him up - barely. But you knew that couldn’t last. The way Will had vibrated when you explained the situation told you everything you needed to know about that. Talking to Jessie hadn’t been easy either, because she’d first shut you out completely and resented her brother for telling you, you for telling Will, and Will for telling everybody else. That was understandable too, but things were tense between the two of you, and since none of the men wanted to include you in what you called the Jessie Watch in your head, you were left to watch and worry from afar.

But the worst thing was the complete and utter silence from Frankie. He wouldn’t answer your texts or your calls. You kept replaying the only phone call he’d answered to just like you’d kept replaying the moment he’d offered you wine and chocolates for Christmas - God, you wished you could go back to that time.

You dial his phone number, hoping he picks up. He does, starting with :

‘Listen, now’s not a good time. I’m sorry but I got some things to deal with right now. I’ll call you back.’

Unnerved by the tone of his voice, unnerved by his answer, and thinking we don’t even see each other anymore and I thought you liked me and trusted me you bluntly answer :

‘Pope told me.’

The silence on the other end in unbearable, so you continue :

‘Frankie, talk to me. Don’t shut me out, please.’

You’re begging, and you don’t care that you are.

‘It’s fine.’ He eventually mumbles, his voice unconvincing. ‘I’ll sort this out. I just need some time.’

Some time was more than two weeks apparently, and two weeks was your breaking point.

You felt alone in a way you’d never felt before.

That led you here, right to this moment, you opening a bottle of wine, all by yourself. You sat on your couch, and drank a glass. Then, a second. By the third, you were turning on your phone and dialing your mother. When she picked up, you completely broke down. After the phone call, exhausted by all the crying, you left your phone on the couch and went to bed. The battery was empty when you woke up the next morning, feeling puffy and barely keeping it together. You didn’t bother to plug it in.

As agreed upon the night before, your father picked you up a bit before noon. Starbuck was in her bag, and you’d thrown some clothes in a luggage. You felt a wave of relief wash over you when you put it in your childhood’s bedroom, Starbuck already carefully sniffing around the house. You called your boss to ask to use all of the vacation days you had. You didn’t know what deity to thank for the fact that he agreed. You knew it was all wrong. You knew you should be here for Jessie, for everyone. You father covered that : he went to Anna and Phil, told them about the situation and made them promise not to say a word.

You had three weeks of vacation, and nothing to do but pretend you were a teenager again, living with your parents.

Your father kept in touch with Phil and Anna, if only to get news about what was going on with your friends. At the end of the first week, he came back with a letter. You felt yourself shaking until he added :

‘It’s from Anna.’

He heard your sigh of relief but didn’t say a word, turning around to leave you in peace. As he got to the door, though, he turned around and announced :

‘One of these days, I’m gonna have to have a talk with that boy of yours.’

He looked tired, and worried. Your voice wavered as you answered :

‘You won’t have to if he’s not my boy anymore, Dad.’

You felt like crying, but you didn’t. You turned your attention to the letter instead, and smiled at the first line. Anna had taken to give you your own nickname every time you compared her to Jane from Pride and Prejudice.

Dear Elizabeth,

How long and lonely are the days without you. Our dear cook is not quite himself, since you’ve been away, as he has to endure me without you to soothe the pain in his ass that I am. The counter has lost its light, and even the birds seem to sing in a more quiet manner, as if they were missing their dear friend too.

I hope your dear feline companion Starbuck is doing well in her new surroundings. I do not worry much, though: change can be difficult, but she is anything but faint-hearted.

I will keep writing to you, dear Elizabeth, if only to let you know if a respectable gentleman of good fortune ever comes in to charm me. You must promise, though, that you shall write back.

Your Jane.

The letter was so sweet and thoughtful , with Anna’s clumsy attempt at sounding Jane Austen-ish, you finally cried, only this time, the tears were not all bitter. You could call her, but this seemed more fun. You fumbled around to find a piece of paper and picked up a pen.

Dear Jane,

How sweet of you to write to me. I cannot express how much I miss you too. Do not worry about Phil, for he is softer for you than you know. I am sure you are quite exaggerating to hasten my return. Alas, I will remain where I am, for I find this retreat is beneficial to my health.

Starbuck has taken to her new life quite readily, and is currently enjoying a lovely nap in the sun.

Guard your feelings well, my dear. Experience has taught us much in this matter, recently.

I’m writing a return address on the back, so you can write to me through the post-office and avoid my poor father the task of being the delivery man.

Your Elizabeth.

You left the house for the first time this week to mail the letter.

Those three weeks went by like this.

You learnt that Linda and her ex had called it quits for good. You learnt that Will eventually drove to Jessie’s now-ex-boyfriend’s house and beat the shit out of him, and that everybody watched it happen with glee. You learnt that Frankie’s ex-wife was still in town. Staying on the couch.

You wanted to throw up all the time, these days.

You still didn’t turn on your phone. You used your parents’ line to get an appointment to the doctor. The woman only had to look at you to say :

‘Yeah, you’re not going back to work.’

You knew what she meant : you barely recognized yourself when you looked in the mirror. You didn’t sleep much, you didn’t eat much, and it all showed. When you came home, your father hesitantly said :

‘They’re starting to be worried. They’re asking a lot of questions to Anna.’

You found that you didn’t care, and a little voice at the back of your head warned you that this was worrying but you ignored it. It was so easy not to think. You enjoyed the feeling - maybe a little too much, said the voice again. You ignored it again. You were standing on that fine line : you were aware that you weren’t fine, but you weren’t doing anything about it. You knew it would only take a push to bring you to the other side : and then, you wouldn’t be aware anymore that you were not fine.

‘I got two weeks more.’ You answered instead.

———

You hadn’t seen Frankie in five weeks.

You’d been feeling better, lately, but still considered going back to work. And by that you meant going back to work at all, ever again. You weren’t good at facing your problems, you knew that, and that whole existential crisis about your future sounded a lot like running away but you didn’t have the strength to face anything right now. You wanted Frankie and your friends to make some king of grand gesture while knowing they didn’t have the means to reach you. You knew that was ridiculous and a little bit fucked up. You kept at it anyway.

Anna visited you more and more. The first time she’d shown up unannounced, she looked so hesitant it broke your heart. You’d hugged her so hard and she’d given it back the same way. She took to showing up in the morning, when your parents were on their daily stroll, though she happily stayed for lunch. Your parents, of course, adored her.

So, that morning, when someone rang at the door, you expected it to be her. You realized your mistake the second you opened it. You took a step back, speechless, and Will and Santi used your surprise to push past you and come in, very much uninvited.

On autopilot, your brain pretty much gone, you turned around and just stared at them. They stared right back, Pope with a hard look on his face. Will, though, looked like he wanted to hug you but didn’t dare. He seemed to struggle for a minute, before opening with :

‘Benny is very upset you missed his last fight. It was a big one.’

You found your tongue, even if it felt heavy in your mouth.

‘Well, I’ve been…’

‘You’ve been what ?’ Interrupted Santi, his arms crossed and his gaze unforgiving. ‘Ignoring us for five weeks ?’

‘My phone is dead.’

‘For five weeks ? Cut the crap.’

‘How did you find me ?’

You crossed your arms too. Whatever reunion you’d imagined, that wasn’t it. The reality of the situation was starting to sink in and you were trying to get angry, because if you got angry, then you wouldn’t break down. You could feel the tension building up your spine, knew exactly what it meant too : that conversation was not going to go well because whatever happened, whatever your reaction would be, the part of your brain labeled stupid and self-destructive was going to take over.

‘How did you find me ?’ You repeated, your fingers digging into the flesh of your arms to try and ground you.

Apparently, though, your brain wasn’t the only one with a part labeled stupid because instead of answering the question, Pope just decided to go with :

‘Do you realize how Jessie feels ? Do you realize how we all feel ? We had to take care of your friend, your friend because you just bailed on us while her fucking ex-boyfriend was beating the shit out of her.’

The silence that followed was heavy, as you could feel both the anger coming off of Santi and the panic that was shaking Will. Your voice was cold, emotionless, as you answered :

‘I was there. Except nobody wanted me there. I was completely useless.’

‘Bullshit. So what, you disappear ? Jesus, Frankie must have a thing for women who pull that kind of stunt because you’re the second one. The boy’s not very smart, apparently.’

‘Pope.’ Will’s voice rang loud in your ears, but you were frozen to the spot. You wanted to answer with some smartass remark, something petty along the line of well she’s back now, so who needs me anyway, just to get back at Santi because you knew in your heart Frankie wouldn’t just leave you like that. You knew there was more to the story but Frankie had completely shut you out before you went off the grid and now Santi was in front of you, scolding you as if you were a child, the whole thing feeling too much and not real at all, like you were having a really bad nightmare.

Pope ignored Will’s warning and went on :

‘You know the worst part ? He’s so worried he’s going crazy right now. We’re fucking back to square one, when I had to pick up the pieces when the other one left.’

‘Pope, stop.’ You heard Will say.

You opened your mouth, just a reflex, because your brain was empty. You couldn’t think anymore. But you opened your mouth anyway and realized too late you wouldn’t be able to contain the sob crawling up your throat. Breaking down it is, then, was your last thought before you started crying and shaking uncontrollably. So you ran to your room, leaning on the walls to avoid falling.

You were crying so hard you didn’t hear the door open, some time later. You felt the bed dip, though, when someone sat next to you.

‘Go away.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Will’s voice answered as a hand went to your hair. ‘Come on, deep breaths. Everything’s gonna be okay but I need you to breathe, okay ?’

Your hand shot up to grab his arm in a steely grip to steady yourself. You complied, though. After a while, you felt like you could breathe again. Will’s hand kept stroking your hair as he started talking :

‘Listen, Pope’s an asshole, we all know that. Anna briefed me a bit about everything. She wasn’t the one who gave us your address, by the way. I swear, the woman is unbreakable. Linda just figured you might be at your parents’ house and we looked it up. I’m a bit ashamed it took us that long to think about it, honestly.’

He chuckled, and went on :

‘Anyway, listen. Frankie’s been really overwhelmed by his ex coming back, and he didn’t react well, though I must say you answered in kind but I get it. He told me how he kept you out of the loop and I know how hard that must have been for you because I can see how much you care about him. It’s so obvious, the two of you. It was even before anything happened. I know Frankie is, you know, the quiet one, and he’s not all sharp angles and shit like the rest of us, but he turns into a puddle when you’re here. He’s unburdened when you’re around. We used to give him shit because he wouldn’t talk to the cute bartender.’

You smiled, still not looking at Will, but he was looking at you and he saw it.

‘Remember when he came to ask you, for Maria’s birthday ? We made him do it. Benny taunted him. He said that if he had to get up and ask you that, he’d also get your phone number and a date with you.’

‘I’d never go on a date with Benny.’ You replied, your voice hoarse.

‘Yeah, you’re smarter than that. Remember the Christmas presents ? Frankie was having a bloody existential crisis over this. He wanted to buy you a book. Linda gave him ideas but he was freaking out because he was scared he was going to buy you a book you wouldn’t like. I actually had to text Jessie about your favorite wine and get Frankie to go shopping with me so he would stop freaking out. Pretty sure I’ve never seen him stressed out like that and we served together.’

‘You already had Jessie’s number ?’ You asked, pretty sure Jessie would have told you right away about that.

His voice grew quiet, thoughtful.

‘Yeah. I had asked for her number one day. But I was really drunk so I never used it. Figured she’d given it to me because she felt obligated or something since I was a regular. I thought I was taking advantage. If I had made a move earlier …’

You turned your head towards Will, then, knowing you looked like a mess and not caring one bit.

‘What happened is not your fault, Will.’

And then, it hit you.

‘Wait, earlier ? That means you did it ?’

His smile was blinding. You squeezed his arm.

‘Good for you.’

You both fell silent for a moment but Will wasn’t done.

‘Listen, that thing with Frankie’s ex, it’s not what you think, even though he’s been an idiot for not telling you. Wendy came back because she’s lost. She thinks she made a mistake, leaving like that, and she’s still trying to figure out if she wants to be a mom. It’s not about Frankie and her, okay ? It’s about Maria. She wants to try, maybe. She still doesn’t know. Pope shouldn’t have talked to you like that but he’s right : Catfish is lost right now, because he misses you and he doesn’t know how to fix it. He’s too damn respectful to show up here unannounced, too. That’s why we came.’

He kept stroking your hair as your mind processed everything.

When you left the room, Santi was waiting in the garden. You went over to him and hugged him. He whispered apologies in your ear.

-------------------

Taglist :

@pedritobalmando @ubri8

#pedro pascal #frankie morales x reader #frankie 'catfish' morales #triple frontier

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zeppelin-and-unicorns · 3 years

Text

Black Peonies preview

A/N: This is the first chapter of the J/H soulmate AU fanfic I’ve been working on for a really long time. I do not plan on posting it on AO3 or ff.net for now, because I have yet to finish writing the last couple of chapters.

That being said, I hope you enjoy this sneak peek.

Trigger Warning: Explicit child abuse

Chapter one:

January, 1970

Steven Hyde walked through the dark streets of Point Place alone. Mr. Forman’s brother from Chicago got hurt, and the whole Forman clan went to see him for the weekend, which means that Hyde had nowhere to go.

He stayed with Kelso and Donna for a big chunk of the day, but Bob doesn’t like when Donna has boys over after it was dark out, so he and Kelso had to take off.

He walked Kelso to his home, because Hyde was not in a hurry to get to his own house. It was a Saturday, and Edna tends to go a little crazy on Saturdays, that’s why he would often sleep over at the Forman’s.

He was lucky Bob and Midge made them snacks too, because Edna rarely buys any food for the weekends. She tends to spend the little money they have on booze and drugs.

He spent as much time as possible walking around, trying to avoid going home to Edna, but there wasn’t much he could do, it was very cold outside, and he didn’t have a nice jacket to keep him warm, he needed to go home. It was trashy, but at least there was heat. He hoped Edna would be passed out by now, but he doubted, it was still early.

The minute he reached his block, he sighed. He could already hear the sounds of beer bottles clinking and the voices of his mom’s stoner friends, she definitely was not asleep, crap.

Someone threw a beer bottle at his direction, and the glass shattered all over the shitty pavement. He glanced at the direction the bottle came from, and saw his mother’s laughing figure sitting on the porch. Fucking fantastic.

“Home already, kiddo?” She asked, slurring with her words and blowing the smoke from the cigarette in her hand.

“It’s cold” He shrugged, and tried to get inside the house before his mother would start with her usual drunken ramblings, that usually ended up with her blaming him for her shitty life.

His mother grabbed his arm to stop him and he sighed in frustration.

“You couldn’t have stayed with your friend today?” She asked bitterly

“He’s outta town with his folks” He answered, hoping she would drop it and let him go to his room.

“It wasn’t enough for you to ruin my career, now you have to ruin my weekend too?” She said, puffing out another cloud of smoke

“Believe me, I wouldn’t be here if I had somewhere else to go” Hyde answered

“Aren’t you a smartass?” Edna taunted him, and laughed slyly.

“I want to go inside, it’s cold” Hyde said simply, if he learned something from all of his 11 miserable years with Edna, is that there was no use in arguing with her.

“I know something that will warm you up in a second” She slurred out and laughed, forcefully grabbing his right hand on her bony fingers and putting out her cigarette on his skin.

He felt his skin burning and tried to pull his hand off her tight grip, the pain brought tears into his eyes and it was almost unbearable. But she held on tighter, pressing the burnt stub onto his skin as she laughed.

"Tears?" Edna mocked at the sight of Hyde's teary eyes "Aren't you supposed to be a tough guy?"

He held himself back. He wanted to tell her to fuck off so badly, but he knew better. If he did, he would have to spend the night wandering the streets, and he wasn't in the mood to freeze to death.

She flicked the bud onto the snow, and finally let go of his hand. The pain didn't go away though, in fact, it got worse. He thanked a God he wasn't so sure he believed in for making Wisconsin winters so cold. He would be able to hide the burn by wearing gloves and ease the pain by shoving his hand onto the snow that probably accumulated by his bedroom's dingy window.

Hyde glanced one last time at his stoned and drunk pathetic excuse of a mother and headed inside the house, holding his right hand on his left one.

Sometimes he wished the soulmate thing wasn't real. He doesn't like the thought of an innocent girl suffering all the pain his mother puts him through.

But he knew better, the universe never cared about his wishes, otherwise he would have a different mother. He just hoped that the girl who had the bad luck of being his soulmate had a strong support system or whatever, because his shitty reality isn't changing anytime soon.

Meanwhile, in Point Place's community theater…

10 year old Jackie anxiously tried to peek through the closed blinds, today was probably one of the most exciting days of her life, she was about to play on her first piano recital ever! She was trying her hardest to not be nervous, because she’s a Burkhart, and Burkhart’s excel on absolutely everything they do – according to her mother. She practiced every day for hours, she wanted to be perfect, because both of her parents promised they’d watch her play today.

“Miss Burkhart, it’s almost time, are you ready?”

“Yes I am, Mrs. Crawford! I have my sheet here with me – even though I don’t need it, just as a precaution” Jackie said excitedly, and her music teacher smiled

“You’re going to do great, Jackie” She said with a small smile “Go wait over there, you’re up next”

Jackie nodded and went to wait where her teacher indicated. Her heart was beating so fast, and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face. She couldn’t wait to be praised by her parents.

They already missed her dance recital, and neither of them were there when she won the trophy for “Prettiest Ballerina”, but they promised they would attend her piano recital, that’s why she decided she would play one of the hardest songs, so she could impress them.

She knew none of her colleagues had the ability to play this song; most of them were playing “Fur Elise” or “Ode to Joy”. She wanted to be the best, so she chose “Clair de Lune” by Debussy, one of her father’s favorites songs. He likes to listen to it when he’s smoking his cigars, so she made sure to learn just to make him proud.

When she heard Mrs. Crawford calling her name, she’d put on her stage smile, the one her mother taught her so long ago. When she entered the stage, she glanced at the audience, trying to find the familiar faces of her parents. She didn’t see either of them, and she had to repress the urge to cry.

They bailed on her, again. They promised they would make it!

She took a deep breath and saw Martina’s familiar face. She was giving her a sad smile, and Jackie sighed. She likes Martina, but she would never fill the hole left by her mother. It’s not like Martina wants to be there anyways, she only went because she’s paid to do so.

Jackie quickly forced a smile and went to sit at the piano bench. If her parents didn’t want to be there, that’s their loss. There was a good amount of LOPP’s mothers there, she hoped they would tell her mother later how she played beautifully, and her mother better feel bad.

She stretched her fingers the way Mrs. Crawford taught her, and placed the music sheet on its proper place. The second her fingers touched the piano keys, she felt herself relaxing a bit, and when she started to play, she genuinely smiled. The first couple of minutes of the song went smoothly, some people even clapped when she mastered the transition from the slow part of the song to the slightly faster one.

Then she stopped playing, and not because the song was over.

Out of nowhere, she felt a blinding pain on her hand. She whimpered in pain and held her right hand with her left one, tears involuntarily falling from her eyes.

Mrs. Crawford quickly ran to see what was going on with her best student, and she sighed when she saw a black peony forming on the girl’s hand.

“It’s burning, Mrs. Crawford” Jackie cried, and the older woman placed her hand on her shoulder.

“I know honey, you know what that means, right?” She said, and Jackie nodded.

That means that her soulmate was hurting. Again.

Last week Jackie got a new flower on her shoulder, and the week before that, she felt like someone was slapping her on her face.

Thank God that bruises on the face don’t leave flower marks, otherwise people would see her as a freak, because she feels like she’s being slapped or punched on at least once a week.

Mrs. Crawford guided her out of the stage, and made her sit on a small bench near the dressing rooms. Jackie carefully rubbed her hand, the pain was starting to subside a little, the black peony marking the exact place where it was hurting.

“Do you want to go back and start again, Jackie?” The woman gently asked, and Jackie shook her head.

All she wanted to do was go back home and pray for her soulmate to get the help he needs. She doesn’t know why he gets hurt so often, but she wanted it to stop. For both of their sakes.

#jackie x hyde #jackie and hyde #soulmate AU #black peonies #fanfic #zenmasters #that 70s show #that '70s show

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soundsof71 · 3 years

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for the album thing: born in the usa :)

I could write a book about any of Bruce’s records from Born To Run to Born In The USA. I did in fact write my grad school thesis using Nebraska as the hook: ”Vehicles of Grace: Automobile Imagery and Salvation in the works of Bruce Springsteen and Flannery O’Connor” LOL which is one million percent true.

In fact, I bought Nebraska on my first day of class in grad school (a whole story by itself), and BITUSA came out as I was finishing my coursework two years later. It’s hard to overstate how hard this one hit, but my reaction was kind of complicated, so I’ll tell ya all about it.

the first song from this album I heard: “Dancing In The Dark”, which came out as a single before the album. Followed immediately by “Pink Cadillac”, its b-side. We played the SHIT out of that song in particular, far more than the A side, and were dumbfounded that it wasn’t on the album.

do I own the album?: Obvs, but there’s a story. Of course. My girlfriend and I bought it on vinyl the day it came out in June (we weren’t married yet, but we’d merged our record collections the previous year LOL), then for my birthday in August, she bought me a CD player for like $800 (they were expensive as FUCK when they first came out -- and $800 was even more of a fuckton of money back in those days, especially for a couple of grad students), with one CD, Born In The USA. That one CD was more than reason enough to spend the dough on a player.

I still have that CD, along with the ticket for show where we saw Bruce on our honeymoon in England, at St. James Park in Newcastle, in June 1985. He’d just gotten married too (the first time), which is a whole ‘nother story too. Oh, and I still have the sweatshirt from that show! I'll post a picture of all this some time.

my favorite song: Wellll....here’s where it gets kinda complicated. Bruce had a notoriously hard time picking songs for the record. He’d recorded something like 50 songs for the album, and once he cut the list to 30 or so, he kept asking people he trusted to pick THEIR favorite running order. (Dave Marsh talked about this in his book Glory Days: Bruce Springsteen in the 1980s, and I haven’t heard it much discussed since then.) It’s hard to argue with the finished results, but you know what? I kinda do, still, all these years later. LOL

My favorite song OF the album, no question, is “Shut Out The Light”. (Check my tag for this song to hear some more about it.) It was first released as the b-side to the 7 inch single of “Born In The USA” (remarkably, the third single from the record), and wouldn’t show up on CD until 1998 on the Tracks anthology. Tracks was 4 CDs in all (should probably have been 6 discs, and COULD have been 10), but I bought the whole thing for THIS.

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My favorite song ON the album: “Downbound Train.”

my least favorite song: “Darlington County”.

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: “Dancing In The Dark”. I’m not alone in this. Miami Steve famously HATED the song at first, and only came to appreciate it after years of playing it live. I still remember never more eagerly anticipating an album in my life, and never being more upset by the advance single. I was devastated.

Here’s why. Born to Run came out when I was 15. “Gotta get out while we’re young!” The romance of escape, with the last two songs, still grandly romantic, hinting at its costs.

Darkness came out when I was 17. Narrator: “They did not escape.” LOL Ghosts, bitterness, compulsion, cursed by God. His estranged wife’s eyes “filed with hate for just being born”, while “Tonight I’ll be on that hill ‘cause I can’t stop.”

The closest thing to hope: a whispered “Tonight my baby and me are gonna ride to the sea / and wash these sins from our hands.” I was a senior in high school and the dream was already dead. Awesome. LOL

The River came out when I was 20. The only hope is domesticity. Too bad that it’s suffocating and you’ll fuck it up. LOL Want to wash the sins from your hands? Sorry, the river is dry. “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true / Or is it something worse./ that sends me down to the river?” Yikes!

The shows for this album were astounding. The album was soooo much darker than it first appeared, and the catharsis in the performance was rewarding, sure, but almost unbearable. You were left broken and crawling by the end of the night. In a good way. LOL

Nebraska came out when I was 22. Murder, mental illness, ghosts, more murder, compulsion, and as a treat, a little more murder. LOL

The one song I couldn’t stand was “Reason To Believe”, because I didn’t believe there was one, and I didn’t believe he did either. But boy did I love the album as a whole. Like I said, my grad school thesis started here, because I had too much to say about Nebraska and the sweep of Bruce’s literary roots and spiritual impulses NOT to write about it.

(Not shockingly in retrospect, and a blessing for us all that he went through with it and is still at it, but Bruce’s therapy started here too.)

So from 1975 to 1984, things got darker and darker and darker. It was beautiful. LOL And hey, this was MY LIFE we’re talking about, too! From 15 to 24, I was listening to Born To Run, Darkness, The River, and Nebraska practically on a loop, and the more hopeful stuff was becoming less and less resonant.

Sure, there was Rosalita and Thunder Road and Badlands, plenty of dancing and pumping fists, but I was dwelling in darkness, and living for it. On my best days, I was wounded, not even dead LOL but I barely listened to Born to Run by the end of this span. It was mostly Darkness and Nebraska.

I couldn’t wait to hear what was coming after the highest body count in recorded history on that album. LOL I knew it wouldn’t be acoustic again, but man, he was cutting closer and closer to the bone each time out. How much farther could he possibly go?

And it was....Dancing In The Dark? What the actual FUCK? Practically fucking disco or something? WHA....? I loved dance music, especially in the 80s, but I didn’t need it from Bruce. I had that from other people. Oh well, at least the b-side was cool, so maybe the album won’t bite. LOL BUT THEN PINK CADILLAC WASN’T ON THE ALBUM. FUCK.

The album didn't bite, of course, but it took a looooong time to get over this huge dual disappointment of a chirpy disco single by an artist I barely recognized, and whom I now felt I could no longer trust to manage his own creative mission.

My wife wrapped her head around it first (as is usually the case LOL). She dug it as the closest Bruce had yet come to putting his actual self in a song. The narrator is a writer, anyway, unlike every other song he’d ever written about jobs he never held for a single second (an observation that would form the bedrock of Springsteen on Broadway 40 years later).

Now, I totally dig it. If you’re naughty enough, I might even post my ukulele cover of Dancing In The Dark. LOL

a song I used to like, but now don’t: None. The songs I loved, which is most of ‘em honestly, I still do. Everything about this album has gotten better with time for me, and nothing about it has gotten less so.

my favorite lyric:

From “Shut Out The Light”: Oh mama mama mama come quick I've got the shakes and I'm gonna be sick Throw your arms around me in the cold dark night Hey now mama don't shut out the light

From “Downbound Train” The room was dark. Our bed was empty Then I heard that long whistle whine And I dropped to my knees, hung my head, and cried

Bruce was gonna try to give me a happier record, but I was having none of it. LOL

For the record, “Downbound Train” is my wife’s favorite track on the record by FAR, at least partly because it sounds like a band version of a song that could have followed Nebraska. I prefer Shut Out The Light because I heard the story of my own mental illness in it for the first time, but yeah, Downbound Train is amazing.

I only saw it live once at the time (in Newcastle, June 4, ‘85), but it really comes to live onstage -- true for all of Bruce of course, but this album more than any other imo.

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overall rating out of 10: Then: 8. Now: 9.2. The shows were unbelievably good (we saw three shows in three different countries on that tour) and it sold a buttload, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that after the run of Darkness - The River - Nebraska, that this was a missed opportunity at best.

Time and distance heals all LOL and I now love it. Not more than the four before it, but more than anything since. A masterpiece, by any standard.

#bruce springsteen #born in the usa #shut out the light #dancing in the dark #nebraska #ask #essay #downbound train #darkness on the edge of town #Anonymous #youtube

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