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smaptain-smerica · 11 months

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Spare me your Time

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Summary: After a rough start to life, Y/n accepts her dream job continuing her father's research. Someone from the past comes back into her life, and she hesitates to establish a connection. He spared her life, will she spare him some of her time in return? Word Count:9.4K Warnings: Death of father, cursing, Forceful obedience, insomnia, the reader has the serum

You usually worked late. All your required assignments were completed in record time, earning you a high standing among the other scientists and engineers. Granted, not everybody knew that you were the boss's daughter.

The company that your father and his brother had started always remained a secret to the world, even to you in some ways. What you could gather from short dinner table conversations was that they were collecting research on how medicines affect different kinds of people and attempting to create unique medicines based on physical and mental assessments.

Growing up around this secret medicine world inspired you to want to become a biomedical engineer just like your father. You wanted to follow in his footsteps and revolutionize medicine and technology for the better.

They would take volunteers to do the scans curate a medicine specifically for them. It would take into consideration their mental age, physical age, and physique to determine the best equations and medicines to help them. The end goal was to be able to take a simple scan of someone's body and output a pill designed perfectly for them in minutes. The only thing they managed to successfully create was personalized allergy medicine. For over a decade of work, it seemed like a small accomplishment, but your father always said it was only the foot in the door.

What was happening under the company's surface was shady dealings by your uncle. One day when your father was out of town on a business trip, your uncle asked if you’d like to sit in the machine for a scan. Your father never let you before so of course you said yes. Your uncle discovered the unmatched potential you carried with you within your brain and body. He kept the scans a secret from your father, even you, and he began to scheme his way toward evil.

Your uncle had heard about the Winter Soldier and the secret HYDRA program they were creating for it. He heard tales of horror from the scientists he regularly kept in touch with. Ultimately, he decided that he could create a serum ten times better than the one HYDRA had used. His serum would eliminate the need for brainwashing and mind-controlling commands. His version of the serum would subject the recipient to obedience. How someone would control them was still in the works, but he began working secretly on the serum, testing it on various rodents until he thought it was perfect.

It was your 15th birthday, midnight on the dot when your uncle woke you from your sleep saying he had a surprise. Hoping it was a new car, you got up to follow him. He knocked you out cold and strapped you to a chair in a lab in the basement. He had injected you with his version of the serum, fire pumping through your veins and melting you from the inside out. In a groggy state, you watched your father burst into the room, frantically trying to find you. He was furious, more furious than you had ever seen him in your life. Unfortunately, your uncle was faster, shooting him square between the eyes with a concealed weapon, as though he was waiting for this moment.

For a few months, your uncle has put you through a series of tests. Your speed, strength, and durability had increased, but not in the way he had hoped. There was only a 75% increase in physical attributes. Instead, it was your mind that had been maximized to its full potential. Suddenly you gained a photographic memory with the ability to memorize quickly. You could see or hear instructions for something once and instantly perfect it. He sat you in the library, forcing you to watch countless videos and read countless books. You had become fluent in 15 different languages in only 6 months and knew every Jiu-Jitsu move there was and more. Though you might not have been as strong as the Super Soldiers, your uncle had hopes you could outsmart them.

So, from 16 and on you earned the highest education possible. Graduating high school at 17, college at 20, and finally, a master's degree in biomedical engineering at 23. You were halfway through earning your Ph.D. when someone walked into your life that changed it forever.

The serums effects weren’t 100%, but you were only the first test subject. There was some free will in the sense that you could go and do whatever you want, but unless someone told you otherwise, it was in your nature to listen. Stay here, never leave, work on this project, go get me this, when you were younger you didn’t even realize this was happening. People just told you that you were helpful and kind-hearted. Your uncle knew though, and used it to his advantage.

One of your favorite songs played ever so softly next to you from a small speaker while you worked in the lab. The only light was a desk lamp over your workstation. It was in the early hours of the morning, so you had to be quiet to not bring suspicions to your project. You sang gently to yourself as you squeezed a drop of blood onto a microscope sheet and then put your work-in-progress anti-serum serum over the top of it. You brought your eyes to the scope, examining what was happening within the red and white blood cells.

The sound was hardly noticeable but still caused you to freeze up. Slowly, you straighten your posture and turn around. Your hand shut off the music as you listened intensely, but only the sound of your heartbeat was in your ears.

Finally, a dark figure appeared in the small ring of light around you. Your eyes widened and you took a step backward in fear, knocking over the stool in the process. In front of you stood a tall man with dark, long hair and a face covered by a mask. You wouldn’t have recognized him if it weren’t for the silver, metal arm that hung from his shoulder.

Your uncle told you stories of him, you’ve read about him and yet, still didn’t think he was real.

The winter soldier.

“I know who you are.” You choked out, embarrassed by how small your voice sounded. He didn’t move, didn’t blink, you could have sworn you saw his head tilt ever so slightly.

“Did you come here to kill my uncle?” Your voice hardly came out as a whisper. As terrified as you were for your own life then, you hoped he would say yes.

The winter soldier nodded.

“Did you do it?” You asked.

He nodded again.

You felt relief flood over you. You were free. Your body let go of a weight that you didn’t know was attached to you as the confirmation settled in your mind.

“Thank you.” You whispered, half to the mysterious assassin before you, and half to the universe.

He raised a pointer finger and seemed to aim it directly behind you. You glanced back at your work and then back at him.

“What am I doing?” You asked.

He only responded with a nod. A man of few words, you thought.

You sighed. Oddly enough, he was the inspiration behind it. He, you, and all the other people your careless uncle killed trying to create the “perfect” soldier.

“I’m trying to fix it. Fix us.” You responded grimly.

Your attention is fixed now on his eyes. His blue and enticing eyes seemed to sparkle with some emotion that was hard to place as he looked at the table and then back at you. The winter soldier hesitated it seemed. Looking at your work, then you, down at his hand, then back up again. You were scared he was going to kill you for even being a witness. But he didn’t. He took a few steps backward, disappearing out of the light and into the dark before he swiftly left the lab.

You let out a breath that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. The fear of coming close to death exited your body like an exorcism. Your legs wobbled as you caught yourself on the workbench. What were you going to do now? You were free. Free from your uncle's grasp, and the experiments, you could leave the house. Hell, you could move states. You turned around and looked at your work. Seeing that your current antidote failed, you sighed in defeat and gathered up your notebook. You would- no, needed- to finish this. But it could wait. Now, you were going to take everything you had and discover a new life for yourself.

If one thing hadn’t changed, it was that you still worked late into the night. By textbook definition, you were a night owl. It was hard to get to sleep and stay asleep with your mind constantly reeling with thoughts. You were just coming back from a run around the compound at 1:30 am. The Avengers compound was so peaceful at night. The gentle sounds of the water and the humming of crickets were your favorite.

Water from the kitchen was the first place you wanted to go. When you opened the fridge you spotted a few Gatorades. You knew they were Clint’s, he had explicitly told you not to touch them. However, Clint was gone for the week, visiting his family. That was plenty of time to cover up your crimes.

You headed back to the lab, having thought of another formula to scribble down while on your run. To your surprise, the light to your lab was on. None other than your boss, Tony Stark, was flipping through one of your sketchbooks. It wasn’t a surprise to find him snooping through your drawings. You and he were collaborating on a prosthetic contraption for his friend Rhodes. It was odd to see him here this late, however.

“Burning the midnight oil, Mr.Stark? Now you’re taking after me.” You teased while leaning in the doorway.

Tony looked up at you and gave you a crooked grin.

“No shit, Sherlock.”

To you, it wasn’t just an expression. Your photographic memory stood out to Tony the first day you met. He called you Sherlock Holmes because of your ability to memorize and analyze every single detail of a picture while only seeing it for one second. The real reason Tony had hired you was because he was fascinated with you and your fathers' research. He agreed to fund your research in its entirety as long as he got to slap a stark label on it when it was finished.

“I’m liking these designs, kid.” He pointed to the paper at one drawing in particular.

“How quickly do you think you could whip up a prototype for this one?”

You walked over to him and peered over his shoulder. You hummed in thought.

“A carbon fiber prototype, a couple of days. But a functioning one I would need about 3 weeks if I halted my other projects.”

Tony tapped his fingers against his chin and nodded. He hadn’t taken his eyes off your designs for the entirety of the conversation.

“That’s great. Yeah, that’s perfect. Get a prototype of these put together for me would ya?”

You brought your fingers to your forehead and saluted him.

“You’re the boss.”

Tony smiled at you, placing a hand on your shoulder before heading for the door.

“Tony!” You called after him which caused him to halt and face you.

“Why did you actually come down here?” You asked. You could sense it, there was something that he wanted to say but either changed his mind or couldn’t gather the courage.

“Your uncle worked with super soldiers, right?” He asked. You were shocked by the unexpected question and suddenly nervous. Nobody on the team knew you had some variant of the serum coursing through you. It was part of the reason you worked out at night when everyone was asleep. So nobody could see the obvious above-average strength that you carried

“He was fascinated by them, yes.” You finally replied. “He tried many times to recreate the serum but failed.”

“Are you trying to recreate it?”

Your heart nearly stopped beating and your face went ghostly white at the question. Tony pulled out one of your older notebooks from behind his back. It was the one you used for antidote equations.

“Please give that back.” You asked quietly.

“I was looking for your research on the medicines, because I’m allowed to do that since I fund your whole project, and I came across that. I didn’t mean to, but now that I have I’m concerned.”

“No, it’s not like that. I was…” you were scared to admit it. You were scared that the truth might slip up and come out. You weren’t ready for that to happen just yet.

“I was trying to figure out how to reverse it.” You finally admitted, avoiding eye contact with Tony.

Tony looked deep in thought at the book for a moment before tossing it back in your direction. You caught it with ease by the spine.

“You are one of the smartest people I’ve ever met.”

That was his way of leaving the conversation. Your heart swelled with pride at the compliment as you looked at the book. Maybe it was time to start looking into this once again.

The next morning the compound was alive and buzzing with commotion. Unfortunately, because you were often late going to bed you were also late to rise. It was unusual for you to get out of bed before 10:00 am. It was a good thing your boss was generous.

You often worked with the Avengers in your lab. Over the short few years there developing your father's research you accidentally created an ointment that could heal any external superficial wounds. Punctures, scrapes, and lacerations, all of which happen to be occupational hazards for the enhanced superhumans. They were fully stocked with the ointment in the med bay but, for some reason, they liked to bother you more.

Natasha was drinking a coffee and reading a book at the island in the kitchen when you strolled in still in your pajamas, looking for what scraps were left of breakfast.

“Good morning, y/n.” She spoke smoothly.

“Morning.” You yawned, picking up a cold piece of bacon off the plate and began munching.

“What’s with all the commotion?”

Natasha set down her book and turned her attention fully towards you.

“New recruit. A friend from Steve’s childhood.”

“Steve’s childhood?” You asked, astonished. “Isn’t he, like, 100 years old?”

Natasha hummed a chuckle. “Yes, he is. We’re having a meeting to discuss it, I’m sure Tony wouldn’t mind if you sat in.”

“Oh, no,” you responded quickly to the offer. “I gotta get to work. I’m sure I’ll run into him at some point.”

Natasha smiled and stood up as a way of saying goodbye. You smiled at her as well before taking your breakfast to go towards your lab.

You rounded the corner and stopped in the doorway, noticing a young teenager standing in the lab. He must have heard you because he whipped around and looked at you wide-eyed and surprised.

“Hi, um, I’m Peter. Mr. Stark told me to wait here for you.”

You chuckled at the awkwardness of his stance and speech as you walked into the room.

“Hi Peter, I’m y/n. I’ve heard about you, you’re the spider kid, right?” You asked, noticing that he had been flipping through the notebooks you left open on the table.

“Yeah, um, spiderman, actually.”

You smiled at him. Tony told you about a genius superhero kid he wanted to recruit. Tony called you kid, and being 26 you definitely weren’t. You just didn’t expect this recruit to actually be a kid. You did some research into him. Even gained access to his school transcripts. He was a wickedly smart kid, particularly in science. You were looking forward to meeting him.

“When Tony discovered you, he asked me to look into how you get around. Your webs.” You remarked.

Peter looked down at his wrists briefly before returning his gaze to you.

“What about them?”

You smirked a little.

“Do you think we could play around with them?”

About an hour and a half later you and Peter had created a mess of your lab. Webbing was hung in every corner. Different colored webbing strands caused your lab to look like an entire case of silly string had exploded.

When Tony walked into the lab, you and Peter were hanging in bunk bed-styled web hammocks, Peter asking you questions about his chemistry homework while you scribbled down some notes on one of the high-tech tablets.

Both your attention turned to your boss and then you looked at each other. Tony sighed, bringing his hand to the bridge of his nose and pinching it out of frustration.

“I should have known. Alright, y/n get back to work. Peter, you’re with me.”

Peter's face was bright red after being scolded by Tony. You were used to it. He never punished you really, he knew you’d get your work done. Once Peter had left, you looked around the room at all the webbing strung everywhere. Peter said it would dissolve over time, but how long would that be?

When you got to work on the prototype, time flew by. Your lab door remained closed while blasting all your favorite music. Tony had stopped by around dinner to bring you a plate and let you say goodbye to Peter before you continued in your work trance. The next time you checked to see what time it was, it was just after midnight.

You took a moment to admire your work. Surprisingly, you’d gotten most of it done in record time. You decided you would take a break to go for a run and then stay up the rest of the night to finish it. You would sleep when it was completed.

You had taken the long route on your run after deciding you would stay up to finish the project. You picked a trail through the trees, enjoying all the crisp earthy smells that entered your lungs. The moon was bright enough outside that you didn’t need a flashlight. You took the time to have FRIDAY read you the information available to you about the new recruit. You discovered there were a lot of information files that you didn’t have access to. You didn’t have a high clearance since you weren’t a world-saving Avenger, but it still piqued your interest.

Once you returned from your run, you decided the best way to wake yourself up was a cold shower and a shot of espresso. You’d need the small extra boost of energy to power through. While you waited for the coffee to brew, a noise drew your attention.

Your brain never allows you to forget a face. The photographic memory always brings a picture to the front of your mind. This picture brought back a feeling of fear and dread. Those eyes, those captivating blue eyes, and the long, dark hair. It was him. The man that terrified you, but spared your life.

“Um,” he spoke, drawing your attention from the depths of your mind back to the dark kitchen.

“Your coffee?”

You looked back to the espresso machine that was spilling out onto the drip tray below. You cursed to yourself as you quickly put a cup underneath the spouts.

“Sorry, you just… startled me.”

You hesitated on how to continue the sentence. Surely he remembered you, right? Probably not. The winter soldier had been around for decades.

It now made sense how he could be Steve’s childhood friend.

He threw a half-hearted smile your way while sitting down at one of the bar stools.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting anybody to be up this late.” He spoke quietly. You examined him for a moment. Broad shoulders and a long-sleeve shirt with a pair of gloves hid his arms, the real tell sign he was the winter soldier. Maybe you were wrong, maybe he was just a normal guy who got cold. Or maybe he had eczema. But those eyes, you could never forget those eyes.

“Nobody usually is. I can just never get my mind to shut off long enough to sleep.” You admitted, throwing back the shot of espresso. Your face twisted up at the extreme bitterness as you turned around to rinse out the glass.

You heard him chuckle a little.

“I understand more than you think. But it doesn’t look like you’re trying to sleep, either.”

It was your turn to hum a small, amused chuckle in response.

“No, Stark’s got me on a project and I’m almost finished. I’m just going to pull an all-nighter.”

While you were watching him, the way he moved and talked, he seemed gentle. He was trying his best to make himself seem smaller than he actually was. It was odd, this was the same man that was in front of you that day but with an entirely different demeanor. What was once rigid and intimidating was now gentle and enticing. You still couldn't get past the whole murderous assassin thing, if it weren't for that you would be enjoying the company of an attractive man.

“Really? What do you do?” He asked.

Your work was your passion. It’s all you wanted to do. Create medicines and machines to help people. Naturally, your face lit up as you spoke.

“I’m a biomedical engineer. Tony is funding my fathers' research on personalized medicines. What I do is I take a scan of your brain and body, then it gives me a series of equations to create the perfectly chemically balanced medicine for you. They were only successful once with a volunteer's allergies, but I’m hopeful it will expand.”

His face lit up slightly while watching you go on a tangent. His gaze softened and a smile crept up to his lips.

“You look awfully young to be this far in your career.” He commented.

“And you look awfully young to be 100.” You snapped back subconsciously. Realizing what had just come out of your unfiltered mouth, you gasped and clamped a hand over your mouth.

“I am so sorry.”

He chuckled from where he was in his seat and shook his head back and forth.

“No, don’t apologize. That was good.”

“I have a photographic memory.” You blurted out before you could embarrass yourself further.

“I’m somewhat of a genius, by technical standards I suppose.”

“That’s very lucky. Your father must be proud.” He hummed.

“He would be.”

Your heart sank a little. You knew your father would have been proud of you. Especially with everything you’ve been through. Truthfully, you didn’t feel your gift was luck. It was forced upon you. Not that you weren’t grateful to be smart, it just wasn’t something you would have chosen willingly. A gift laced with guilt and shame. It was part of the reason you wanted to create an antidote. Just in case there was part of you that wanted to go back to simpler things, and maybe that would be available to him one day as well.

The man seemed to notice the past tense of the phrase you used and frowned a little. It was obvious he tried to switch topics very quickly.

“So, what are you working on with Tony?”

You were grateful to be off that topic, happily jumping to the next one.

“We’re working on some prosthetics for Rhodes. I’m going to use the brain scanning technology to try and create an external neurotransmitter system that will allow him to have full function of his limbs as if they were never injured. All, with a sleek design that would be practically undetectable when worn underneath clothing.”

He stared at you for a moment, his eyes wide and bright as a smile formed on his lips.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman as extraordinary as you.”

You felt a heat rise to your face that you quickly dismissed with a wave of the hand. On one side of the coin, that compliment nearly made your heart jump from your chest. On the other, he was still the world's most notorious super soldier assassin. And he was acting like he didn’t know you. Or perhaps, didn’t remember?

“There’s this great running trail through the trees. If you go down to the training center and out the east door it’ll lead you right to it. It’s usually what I do when I can’t sleep.” You offered, deciding it was best that you got back to your work as quickly as possible.

The man’s face lit up once again as he looked out the windows and then back in your direction.

“That sounds great, actually. I’ll do that. Thank you, um…” he paused, looking to you for confirmation of your name.

“Y/n.” You realized you had gone through that entire conversation not introducing yourselves. You had remembered his name from the file and just assumed he knew you. You aren’t an Avenger so it was a silly thing to assume.

“And it’s James, right?”

“Yeah, James. But you can call me Bucky.” Bucky replied, standing up from his chair.

“Bucky it is then. It was nice to meet you.” You introduced yourself.

“I’ll see you around, Y/n.”

Your feelings were conflicted the entire time you continued to work on the project. You enjoyed the conversation and enjoyed his company. Truthfully if you didn’t need to get back to work you could have talked to him all night. If it weren’t for the damn fact that you could remember his face. The Winter Soldier. Of course, you would find yourself attracted to him.

“Fuck me.” You grumbled.

After what felt like hours of working, you took a step back to look at the wire-covered model on the mannequin in front of you. You smiled gently. It was exactly how you had drawn it. And, to make it easier on yourself, you had created it in a way that if Tony liked it you could start right away on the actual model. You looked down at your watch to check the time.

8:27 am.

Well, it’s not the longest you’ve stayed up, but it certainly is the longest in months. You exited your lab and made your way down the maze of hallways. The unfamiliar sound of chatter made itself present as you approached the kitchen for a snack before heading to bed.

You rounded the corner, the sunlight from the floor-to-ceiling windows blinding you. The white noise of conversation stopped and by the time your eyes adjusted to the light, you discovered everyone was staring at you.

“What?” You asked, picking up an apple off the counter.

“It’s 8:30 am,” Steve commented from his place at the stove, flipping pancakes.

“Thanks, captain obvious.” You grumbled before taking a bite of the apple.

Snickers broke out in the group before Natasha spoke up next.

“You’re never up this early.”

“That’s because I haven’t gone to bed yet.” You smiled as the group broke off into another fit of laughter. You noticed Bucky sitting off to the side, somewhat isolated but still close enough to engage in conversation. He smiled at you gently, which you returned.

“If anyone sees Tony tell him my prototype is complete. But from me, good morning, good afternoon, and goodnight.”

A symphony of different farewells followed you from the group as you made your way to your room. You didn’t bother to change, falling asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow.

Bucky hadn’t stopped thinking about you from the moment he met you. From the moment he saw you, there was a pull. He felt it in his heart like a magnet.

While he and Steve were throwing around the shield on the front lawn, he asked questions about you. What did you do during the day, where was your lab, and what were you like to be around? Steve answered all the questions with a mischievous smile.

“Leave it to you to get the hots for a girl on your first day.” Steve teased.

Bucky laid in bed thinking about it. He thought about your face, how familiar you looked. He wasn’t stupid, he knew the face you made whenever you first laid eyes on him in the kitchen. The face of someone who had met the winter soldier. For the life of him, he just couldn’t remember where.

There was no way he was sleeping. Not for a while at least, if at all. He got up and got dressed in some workout clothes. He figured he would take this opportunity to ask you to go on a run, and maybe get to know you better.

He knew he was screwed when he started to wonder what you would think of his outfit. He changed his shirt twice before grumpily giving up. Using the instructions Steve had given him on how to get to your lab, he was off on his quest. A pep in his step and a nervous flutter in his stomach.

Your lab was at the end of a hallway, the wall lined with glass windows and a glass door so he could see what you were doing. He watched you sway to the music while you tinkered with some wires on the table. He looked at the prototype on the mannequin's legs and smiled. You really did work fast.

As he approached the closed door he could hear the music playing. It sounded familiar to him, but he wasn’t sure why. He slowly opened the glass door but it was obvious you didn’t hear him because you didn’t look up. You kept singing along to the song playing.

I finished my mission. Eliminate Harold L/n and leave no witnesses. It was quite easy, an unmarried man in an estate too large for his own good. Nobody would miss him.

As I was heading back to the exit, I heard a soft voice talking. No, not talking, singing. I growled in annoyance. Of course, someone was here at this ungodly hour of the night, why wouldn’t they be? It was just my luck.

I followed the gentle sounds of the song down a flight of stairs to what looked like an unused basement. To my right, I saw a faint yellow light coming from the window in one of the doors. I slowly approached, opened the door, and slipped inside.

As I approached, I noticed it was a woman. She had heard me because the music shut off and she looked around frantically. She hadn’t seen me yet, but she already looked terrified of getting caught.

I stepped into the light and made eye contact with her. Big, round, beautiful e/c eyes staring back at me. The fear turned into recognition. What she said to me took me by surprise.

“I know who you are.”

She knows me? How could a scientist have known who I was? It was more likely she was in on the serum recreation. She probably had to learn about me and study me.

“Did you come here to kill my uncle?”

Her uncle, great. Family member as a witness. Let’s hope his brother isn’t around anymore.

I nodded in response to her question.

“Did you do it?” She asked again, her voice coming out with a twinge of desperation. Confused by her question, I simply nodded again.

Then, she did something unexpected. Her whole body relaxed like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and she thanked me. She thanked me. It nearly made me tear up hearing those words. It has been a very very long time since anybody has shown me gratitude. Especially for killing their relatives. I was even more confused now about how she knew who I was. Was she forced to research the serum? Was that what she was doing now? Surely not, not this late anyway.

I pointed to the work behind her and she accepted my action as the question I was trying to ask.

“I’m trying to fix it. Fix us.”

I was left with more questions than answers. There were probably a million different things that she could be talking about. My mind held out hope that one was true; the serum. And us, made me think she had it too.

I looked down at my gun, then back at the woman. If HYDRA found out I had left a witness, there’s no telling what would become of me. Although, something deep inside of me pulled for her to survive, to spare her. In the small chance, it was the serum she was trying to reverse, I needed to let her live. So despite direct orders, I left.

“Earth to Bucky!”

Y/n’s voice brought Bucky back to reality. The memory had hit him like a truck. The song you were listening to triggered the memory back into his brain. He was right, you had known him. Why didn’t you say anything?

“Huh, what?” Bucky responded to your attempt at grabbing his attention.

“I said are you okay, do you need something? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

You were sitting in your rolling chair, arms across your chest as you watched him, your head tilted.

“No, I’m good. I forgot why I came here actually. Goodnight.” Bucky said to you as he tried to leave the room as quickly as possible. He had hardly let you get out the words good night before shutting the door and disappearing into the compound.

For the last half hour, you had been thinking about how odd Bucky had acted. He came to your lab, opened the door, then changed his mind and left. In truth, it disrupted your thoughts so much that you had to stop and take a break from work.

You made your way down to the training center, preparing your headphones for your run through the trees. Had to take advantage of the moon being at its peak.

Once you entered the training room you noticed a familiar figure at the punching bags. There was one already broken and seeping sand on the floor. You swallowed as you approached, hoping to catch his attention before you got there.

“Bucky?” You asked, but he kept going.

You walked around to his left side, standing to the side. Now there was no way he could use the excuse of not hearing you.

“Bucky.” You said but got ignored again.

Now frustrated, you shifted your positioning so you were now looking him in the eyes while he wailed into the punching bag. Frustration boiled inside of you. So much, so that while he was in the drawback of one of his punches, you stuck your hand out and caught him before it hit the bag.

Your hand stung as it collided with the hard surface underneath his boxing wrap. Instinctively you brought your hand to your stomach and held onto it.

“Holy shit that hurt.” You hissed as you doubled over and favored your hand.

You looked up at Bucky and saw the shocked expression on his face as he stared at you.

“You couldn’t have worn a short sleeve shirt or something? Shit.” You flicked your hand to try and shake the pain away.

“How did you do that?” He asked. You looked at him, making strong eye contact as your heart began to beat out of your chest.

“I used to do jujitsu.” You attempted to explain.

“That wasn’t jujitsu, you stopped my metal arm mid-swing. How did you do that?” Bucky started to get more demanding. You hadn’t told anyone you had the serum, you wouldn't let anybody here figure that out. So to avoid that conversation, you turned to walk away.

“That’s not important. I was going to invite you on a run but you can forget about that now.” You said sassily.

“I’m sorry I was just-“ Bucky started, watching you walk away from him. “Wait, please.”

The command triggered the obedience in your mind, causing you to become frustrated. Although, you were good at working around it. He said to wait, he didn’t say for how long. So you only stopped for a second before you kept walking.

“Stop walking away and talk to me, y/n,” Bucky called after you again.

Your feet stopped moving before your brain could even register the sentence. This time you couldn’t work your way around it. The command was direct and specific. No trying to cheat the system now. You turned around sassily, standing with your weight on your dominant foot.

“What?” You responded dryly.

“How did you do that?” He asked, a slightly demanding tone to his voice.

“It’s not your business.” You responded quickly.

“Be honest with me please y/n.”

You fought with the internal motive within your body. You struggled not to outright admit to it. Usually, you could control your own verbal choices with a little mental override effort.

“You once told me that you were trying to fix us. Do you have the serum?”

Your heart nearly dropped out of your chest.

“You remember.” You marveled.

“I didn’t until earlier. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry, I assumed you remembered.”

It wasn’t until Bucky brought his hands up to his hair that you noticed the blood-stained boxing wraps around his knuckles.

“You’re bleeding.” You commented, taking a step towards him.

“And you’re a super soldier!” He spat out the words like they were poison.

You stormed up to him, inches from his face with fire coming out of your ears. You brought up an accusing finger in warning.

“Shut up. You don’t speak another word of this. Nobody else knows. I wanted to keep it that way.”

You didn’t consider yourself a threatening person, but Bucky’s eyes widened as he nodded with understanding. The little bit of power you felt in that moment was an ego boost. You reached down and grabbed him by the wrist to guide him back to your lab.

Once you were there, you shut and locked the door behind you.

“Sit.” You commanded him. He obeyed, taking a seat in the rolling stool as he watched you walk around your lab to gather an ointment and a wet towel.

You sat down in front of him and unwrapped his knuckles. It was clear that he started without his fists wrapped and then decided to halfway through.

“Yes. My uncle used me as a test subject for his version of the serum.” You explained while cleaning the area of the wound for him.

I opened the ointment jar and pulled out a generous amount.

“This shouldn’t hurt, but it might tingle slightly.” You warned.

“What is it?” Bucky asked.

You began applying a thin layer to his cracked knuckles as you explained.

“An ointment I accidentally created. It heals pretty much all superficial wounds within minutes.”

Bucky was silent as he watched you work. Once you were done, he watched his knuckles carefully. It began to generate a dull tingle on the edges of the cracks. He watched as the small cracks in his skin began to mend and heal before his eyes.

His eyes returned to yours with a look of amazement.

“That’s incredible.”

“Thank you.” You responded while trying to clean up after yourself.

“Your uncle… What was he trying to change with the serum?” Bucky asked.

It was difficult for you to decide whether or not to tell him. You hardly knew him, but something inside of you wanted someone to confide in. If anyone was going to understand it was going to be him. You thought about opening up to Steve, but he was always so busy. This was a huge secret that you didn’t want to get out.

“It was a long time ago.”

“You might be the only person that understands me.” Bucky said quietly, Causing you to turn around and look at him. His face was lost, almost puppy dog-like. You could almost see the desperation in his blue eyes. He held out his hand for you to take. You hesitated, wanting to reach out but that part of you so long ago kept your hand restrained.

“I’m sorry, for everything,” Bucky whispered, the look on his face sincere.

“I promise I won’t hurt you. That’s not me anymore. If you could spare me a bit of your time, I’ll prove it to you.”

You couldn’t help but feel your heart ache for the man in front of you. It was clear to you that maybe he needed someone to confide in as much as you did. You reached your hand out and took his.

Bucky looked relieved, his head dropping to look at his lap as he squeezed your hand.

“Thank you.”

You pulled up a stool to sit in front of him, preparing to lay out your biggest secret to him.

“My uncle wanted to create a serum that would allow him to control armies of soldiers without having to use brainwashing. His serum would make them obedient to a fault so that they wouldn’t know what they were doing was wrong in the first place.”

You could see the fear in his eyes when he asked;

“Did it work?”

“Well, I only got about 75% of the strength, but for some reason, the serum made me extremely smart. It’s what gave me a photographic memory.” You explained.

“What about the obedience?” He seemed to be the most concerned about that bit. From what you could guess, he was worried that it would have been successful.

“It didn’t work entirely.” You were hesitant to explain out of fear it could be used against you. “I can control it most of the time. Find ways around it but, a direct command is a direct command. And my body won’t let me ignore it.”

Bucky’s face dropped into devastation. Truthfully, you had never seen anybody look more distraught.

“In the training center when I told you to stop,”

“No,” you jumped at the chance to interrupt him before he could continue.

“Don’t-“

“I am so sorry.” He looked genuinely upset.

“Don’t apologize to me Bucky, you had no idea.”

“No, y/n, you have no idea how much this means to me.”

He met your eyes, an intense seriousness to them. You remembered at that moment that the winter soldier was controllable by whoever said the code. Why had you thought he would use it against you? If anything, he was the only one who understood what you were going through.

Bucky stood up and began to pace the room. You could almost see the thoughts gathering together in his mind.

“I promise you, that will never happen again. I’m going to make sure that never happens to you again.”

“Nobody else knows about this. Not even Tony, please don’t tell anybody.” You begged.

“Nobody is going to know.” He snapped in such a serious tone that it surprised you.

The room filled with a silence that was neither comforting nor awkward. You looked down at your hands while Bucky was standing off somewhere in the room. You were going to have to get over this irrational fear of being around him. You from years ago would need to let go of everything because you now needed a friend, and The Winter Soldier might just be your unlikely friend.

After gathering some courage, you stood up from your chair, catching Bucky’s attention. He turned to face you and looked at you expectantly. You slowly walked towards him until you were only a few feet apart. You held your breath as you pulled him towards you and entrapped him in a hug. He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around you and gave you a gentle squeeze.

It was comforting to feel his heart racing just as badly as yours was. You finally let go of a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Thank you for listening.” You whispered.

A hum vibrated around inside Bucky’s rib cage before he replied;

“Thank you for trusting me.”

It had been a little over three weeks since you started the Rhodes project and you were between a rock and a hard place. Each day was another attempt and each day a new failure. You had stopped sleeping, and even skipped meals to ensure you had extra time to work on the project. Due to the heightened abilities of your mind, the lack of sleep affected you differently. Was it healthy, probably not. Could you still function? Yes.

Bucky often came to sit with you and visit you. He would try his best to understand what you were trying to do, even trying to help where he could. But most of the time, he would bring you meals, and the two of you would just sit and enjoy conversations.

Other times, he knew that he could get some alone time away from the other Avengers if he needed it. It didn’t happen often, but when it did he just sat in the corner and read books trying to catch up on the last few decades.

Unfortunately, the last couple of days most of the Avengers were out on a mission so you hadn’t had a lot of company. You worked endlessly trying to figure out where you were going wrong. The last few days blended and you couldn’t recall the last time you had slept.

While making yourself a cup of coffee in the kitchen, Tony strolled in for the morning. He stopped in his tracks when he laid eyes on you.

“You look like shit, Sherlock.” He remarked.

You rolled your eyes a little, being sleep deprived made you a little irritable.

“Thank you, that’s great to hear.”

“When’s the last time you slept?” Tony asked.

You stayed silent, looking down at your coffee as you aimlessly stirred it around.

“Y/n-“

“I’m really close, I can feel it!” You protested.

“Go to sleep, right now. Go to your room and sleep.” Tony instructed.

You felt your heart tighten in disappointment slightly. You knew that Tony wasn’t upset, he cared about you just like the rest of his staff. No matter how badly you wanted to stay up and finish your project, you had to listen.

With your head hung low, you left the kitchen and walked towards the hallway where the bedrooms were. You had only made it about halfway down the hallway before a hand caught your arm.

You looked up to meet the eyes of Bucky who was looking down at you with a sad expression.

“Do you want to?”

“What?” You questioned, your body subconsciously trying to slowly pry itself away from his grasp to go to your room.

“Do you want to go to sleep?” He said again more gently this time.

You sighed.

“I need to, but no. I am frustrated that I can’t figure this out.”

Bucky bit his bottom lip like he was deep in thought.

“I have an idea that might be able to help you. But after that, you really should get some sleep. You look tired, doll.”

You smiled at him and nodded, excited for what his idea might be.

“Do you want to go back to your lab?” He asked.

“Yes, I do.” You responded.

Bucky had kept his promise to help you have control of your actions. You had noticed he changed his wording around you. He carefully chose his words so that he was never directly instructing you. Whatever he did, he always left you a choice. You also decided that if you were ever doing something you didn’t want to do, he had to ask permission first to redirect your mind. It was a sweet gesture. You never had to implement it until now.

“Then get back to your lab.” He said with a cheeky smile.

The two of you walked back to your lab, careful as to not be seen by Tony as you ran for the elevator. Once you were in your lab, you locked the door and asked Friday to dim the windows so nobody could see inside.

“Alright,” you turned eagerly towards him. “What is this thing to help me?”

Bucky gave me a weak smile as he began to take off his jacket, revealing a short sleeve shirt underneath. For as long as you had known him, he always wore a long sleeve shirt or a jacket. He never let his metal arm show out of fear of making others uncomfortable. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about asking him to look at it for your project, but that thought only crossed your mind once.

“I thought that maybe you could look at my arm and it might push you in the direction you need to go.”

A wide and bright smile covered your face at his gesture. The vulnerability he was showing you right now caused a new light to shine down on him. He trusted you, and you weren't going to break that now.

“Let's try it! Sit down on the chair, please.” You instructed.

Bucky nodded, walking over to one of the rolling chairs and taking a seat. You approached him and took his metal hand in yours. You ran your fingers up the cold, smooth material until you hit the sleeve of his shirt. You looked at the cotton fabric and then sideways at Bucky who met your gaze. You were embarrassed to ask, but you needed to see the full piece. You avoided his eye contact and felt a heat rise to your face as you asked.

“Could you take this off for me?”

Bucky smirked a little as he grabbed at his shirt and easily slid it off his torso. “I usually wait until someone’s bought me dinner first.”

A burning heat rose to your face at the comment and you grumbled a curse word at him playfully. It was hard to ignore that he was a lot more muscular than you first thought. As awful as it sounds, you forced yourself not to stare.

Your hand slid up the smooth metal of his arm and felt all the moving pieces and joints. Considering how long ago this was created, the technology was seriously impressive.

“I’m going to put my hand on your shoulder, is that okay?”

You asked and he nodded in response.

You gently placed the palm of your left hand on the scarred area where metal met flesh. You felt your heartstrings tug slightly in sadness for what he went through. You pushed away that feeling and kept working. You held his arm in different positions and instructed him to stretch his fingers and then make a fist. Your right hand slid down the metal arm and you took his hand in yours while keeping your left hand on his shoulder. “Squeeze my hand please.” You instructed. Bucky gave your hand a gentle squeeze. When you were satisfied, you moved the placement of your left hand and asked him to squeeze again. He followed your instructions.

You pulled your hands back and looked at him. He had an unfamiliar look on his face. A combination of a soft smile and wondrous eyes.

“What?” You asked, suddenly feeling bashful underneath his blue gaze.

“I just love watching you work.” Bucky shrugged.

A head radiated on your face that you had to shove aside to move on to the next step in the process.

“Would you mind going into the scanner? It'll only take 5 minutes.”

He looked back at the machine and then back at me with a hesitant look.

“I’ll be there the whole time.” You reassured him.

Bucky looked up at you with a soft smile and a nod. You opened the glass door to the scanning machine and gestured for him to step inside. He followed instructions, standing in the center of the machine while the door slid closed. You made sure he could still see you through the glass door while you pulled up the computer and booted up the system. The machine first took his height, weight, and BMI, and logged it into his profile. While it was scanning him, you filled in the physical descriptions for the volunteer applicant notes.

You kept an eye on the scanning program while filling out the form. As the scan developed you noticed something that forced you to flip over to his scan. Abnormalities in the prefrontal lobe and hippocampus, the two main regions of the brain that store memory.

His scans were almost completed when you started to notice something. The machine took a scan of the internal structure of his metal arm as well as the outside. You zoomed in on the components within the mechanism. You noticed the way that the nerves of his arm connected to the wiring of the arm. It was a sloppy job, you could have done so much better.

While staring intensely at the screen, you noticed something within the wiring and connections that gave you an idea for your project. As your brain was processing the information you were seeing, Bucky exited the scanner and walked over to you by the computer. He leaned down over your shoulder to get a closer look.

“Woah, is that me? That’s pretty cool.”

He noticed your intense staring at the computer with a look of shocked realization on your face. “Are you okay?”

“That’s it.” You whispered.

“What’s it?” Bucky asked, trying to get you to say your thoughts aloud.

“That’s it that's exactly what I needed!” Your excitement and joy were obvious in the tone of your voice. You looked over at Bucky who met you with a smile as equally excited as yours.

“I could kiss you! Oh my gosh, thank you!” You raved as you scrambled for a tablet to write down all the thoughts in your brain.

Bucky chuckled and straightened his posture.

“Don’t let me stop you.”

Instincts took over as you rolled onto your toes and pressed your lips onto Buckys. He was too shocked to react before you pulled away from him with a smirk on your face. His face was red with a growing smile creeping its way onto them.

“Did I do that?” he asked, scared he might have made you do something you didn’t want to do.

“No.” You responded with a sweet smile.

“I did.”

A smile filled with adoration appeared on his face as he looked at you. Bucky leaned down and kissed your lips again. His lips were slightly chapped and the stubble on his face tickled your chin. He tasted sweet and minty, leaving you wanting more as he pulled away.

“I’ll cover for you while you work.” Bucky offered before placing another quick kiss on your lips. He headed for the door, grabbing and putting on his shirt on before reaching the handle.

“I thought I had to go to sleep?” You questioned.

Bucky paused halfway through the door and turned to face you.

“We both know you’re not going to sleep until it’s done.

Your project was complete and fully functional. It felt like you had just climbed mount everest for this accomplishment, but it was done.

You left your lab in the late evening, sleep finally catching up to you. You entered the common room from the elevator and noticed most of the Avengers watching a movie in the living room. You made a lazy attempt at greeting your friends.

“Y/n,” Tony called which stopped you in your tracks.

“I told you to go to bed six hours ago.” He commented, checking his watch for the time.

“You did.” You agreed.

“The prosthetic is done, by the way. Now I’m going to sleep.”

You dismissed yourself from the conversation, but not before making eye contact with Bucky who sat next to Steve on the couch. He smirked a little and gave you a wink. You reciprocated it before continuing to make your way toward your bedroom. Before you shut the door, you heard Tony say;

“Did you have something to do with this, Barnes?”

Part 1/2

A/N

I would love to take inspiration from readers any put them into stories and shorts! Please don’t hesitate to message me directly or use my ask inbox! 💜💜

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