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drchucktingle · 2 months

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Hello Dr Tingle! I wanted to ask you about that re: your post about how all your books are serious literature (hell yeah Love is real). How do you personally deal with the whole traditional publishing institution? It attracts a whole different level of coverage and it seems that they're very quick to try and box you and like turn you into a brand. Is it stiffling? Is it freeing? Does the attention help more people understand your trot? I don't know I've never been published but since you have experience in both traditional and self publishing I'm interested in knowing how that's feeling for you

well this is a pretty complex question with lots of different trots but i will try my best to answer. lets start with WHO I AM as buckaroo name of chuck

what i create has a very strong voice and my way is pretty recognizable. while buckaroos do not know what most authors look like, i REALLY stand out in a dang crowd with a big pink bag on my head. if you see 50 random author photos and mine is mixed in and then you ask 'which photo do you remember the most?' it is probably gonna be chuck. i also have a VERY UNIQUE STORY with what i create and my artistic sensibilities, not a lot of buds are out there making trans mothman erotica along with their big five traditional publishing bestsellers (SIDENOTE preorder BURY YOUR GAYS)

now if you were going to take 'CHUCK TINGLE' to a marketing department they would FALL OVER BACKWARDS IN THEIR DANG CHAIR with excitement. it is hard to think of an author with a stronger BRAND than i already have in the sense of 'instantly recognizable trot and specific unique style'. even in answering this you can tell that i dont even TALK like other dang authors.

what i am getting at is this: i am VERY VERY LUCKY because my existence just so happens to equate to what a company would see as GOOD BRANDING. it is not intentional on my part, it is just the hand of fate i guess. im out here expressing myself in a FULL ON WAY that is PRETTY DANG STRANGE TO SOME and it just so happens to work as mainstream branding too

on paper you might think 'what the heck no way chuck tingle will fly as a mainstream trot' but honestly the main thread of this timeline can be surprising sometimes. ive been saying the key ingredient for years and i will say it again: LOVE AND SINCERITY RESONATE. when you make art with this fuel, the timeline will feel it. when you stand up tall and shout with your whole chest THIS IS MY WAY AND I LOVE MYSELF. I AM THE WORLDS GREATEST AUTHOR TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, the timeline will listen

so all that said, i do not mind the idea of myself as 'brand' because i am not CHANGING myself to create this effect. what some might see as 'brand' i just see as another part of my art. i have always believed that art is THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE not just the painting but what is outside of the frame. WHO I AM is just as important as the books i write, and interacting with my way is a whole MULTIMEDIA experience that INCLUDES YOU TOO. it is the feeling when your friend shows you your first tingler cover, or the feeling when you realize that i am not playing a character. this is ALL a part of the tingleverse and it is all a part of my honest raw expression as a queer and neurodivergent buckaroo.

YOU ARE PART OF THIS ART TOO

it is my nature of have a PUNK ROCK trot. always has been. but to me that does not mean just angrily going against everything for the sake of going against everything. for me, this punk rock trot means fighting to EXPRESS MYSELF IN THE MOST HONEST AND PURE FORM POSSIBLE and to create the art that i want to make without any boundaries

somehow i have threaded the needle in this really interesting once-in-a-dang-lifetime kind of way. my pure punk rock self as an OUTERSIDER ARTIST just so happens to resonate with this larger system of brand and traditional publishing and popular culture. i COULD reject this, but rejecting it would be LESS HONEST.

this is just who i am. i LIKE pop culture. i LIKE joy. i LIKE dressing in all pink and wearing my custom suits. I LIKE PROVING LOVE IS REAL WHAT THE HECK ELSE EVEN IS THERE? i love being a queer outsider artist and using my small voice to shout at the big bad devils and i like that every time i shout a few more of you buckaroos join the chorus and together we are just getting louder and louder and louder and WHO KNOWS what comes next for us all trotting together.

when i post something like 'WHAT A GREAT DAY TO PROVE LOVE' it is not me sitting here in a bad mood thinkin 'well i gotta make todays post to keep up with my brand'. i am ACTUALLY FEELING THAT FEELING and i actually believe it with every fiber of my being. honestly, half the time i post about the beauty of this timeline i am probably over here literally crying tears of joy (chuck is an emotional bud i get riled over the joy of existence A LOT)

and heres the best part of this trot: because i really have this punk rock way it makes me very powerful. others can pretend not to care about success and brand and all that but I REALLY DO NO CARE. i would write tinglers whether buds were reading them or not, this is just my natural state, and that makes me incredibly strong. if some big corporation says 'YOU MUST DO THIS' and i dont want to do it i just say 'no thanks'. it is not some big debate about my career or anything like that because I REALLY DO NOT CARE IN THE SLIGHTEST. i care about the art

because of this, my relationship with my GIANT TRADITIONAL PUBLISHING MACHINE is great. we trot like equals and we get along really well. i tell them exactly what i want to do and they let me do it. i really do not have to answer to anyone and they deserve a huge amount of credit for respecting me in this way.

and heres the thing, THEY ALSO HAVE SOME GREAT IDEAS

SPECIFICALLY my imprint of NIGHTFIRE is very dang cool. yes, they are the head of a giant hydra of a BIG FIVE PUBLISHER, but nightfire is SO DANG ART-FOCUSED

there is no right or wrong way to be an artist, and my path is not the only one, but i can tell you what WORKS FOR ME. this is the advice i would give myself, and buckaroos can take it or leave it

here it is: never beg the big book publisher, or record label, or movie studio to pay attention to you

do not let it become a lotto ticket in your brain. do not think that you are some weak little creature and maybe if you trot just right they will scoop you up and take care of you. do not go to their door begging to be let in

LET THEM COME TO YOUR DOOR

create something so incredible and beautiful and honest and powerful and unique and important that they would be foolish to miss out. create a community or a system or a timeline or a world of imagination that thrives on its own and THEY SHOULD BE SO LUCKY TO BE A PART OF IT

then when you sit down at that board meeting it is not 'please brand me, ill do whatever you want'. instead, it is 'lets make a deal and see how much love we can prove together.'

now lets trot buckaroos

#buckaroo lifestyle #chuck tingle #tingleverse

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iouinotes · 4 months

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Heroic Betrayal | Luke Castellan (part 1)

SPOILER FOR THE PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS SERIES AND THE BOOKS

pairing: Luke Castellan x female!reader

show: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

warnings: dark!character, betrayal, implied sexual content, heavy angst, kidnapping

word count: 5,8k

summary: When Luke switches to the dark side, he tries everything possible to win you for him.

a/n: so as the show comes to an end (dont cry dont cry dont cry), I thought I would finally post this :)))

read part 2 here

"I'll find you!" his voice echoes through the forest, my laughter much louder than I intend to. But that´s just how it always goes. It's our own little tradition.

Every year when the camp starts again and we meet after the holidays passed, we play hide and seek in the dangerous forest of the half-blood camp. The creatures usually don't come across our path, in recent years it has rarely happened, that we actually had to defend ourselves against them.

Once it was an angry dryad, who threw branches at me (she had a crush on Luke and wanted revenge, but since I could understand her feelings and felt sad for her, we sorted it out).

Another time we were spotted by some camp members, who made fun of us, but Luke must have said something to them later, because we haven't been bothered by these troublemakers since.

It is always the same pattern, but each time there is still something special about it. We have grown, became more mature (I think), and have more and more experience about the struggles in life.

So being able to just let go for a few moments and being completely alone with him is probably the best thing to keep myself sane (even if he drives me a little bit crazy with the love I hold for him).

But a lot has changed recently.

It all started when rumors spread, that Zeus' lightning bolt had been stolen by Poseidon's son. And then the most supportive, bravest, sassy kid in the world showed up here. Percy Jackson. Ever since I met him, even though it's not his fault, there's been war going on. The gods are angry, the monster attacks became worse and again, rumors about the oldest, most powerful titan Kronos reached the camp.

It scared and frightened many people, including me. That's why we've been training harder and stay awake, even when the stars are shining, so that we can prepare for any catastrophe. To be able to fight.

My mother is the goddess Demeter, my father a simple man. I adore them both, even though my mother isn't one of my closest contacts. But I never really held that against her, because at least she decided to acknowledge me as her daughter. After all, it's a privilege that not everyone gets. My siblings and friends at camp are important to me, but the world is changing and so is everything around it.

The only stability I have left is my boyfriend Luke.

If I had to rely on one person in the whole world (and by that I also mean the underworld), it would be him.

He's been my best friend since I arrived at this camp. We've been together through ups and downs, I know every side of him and he knows everything about me too. Many of the people here are like blank pages to me, but not him. He is like my favorite book, that lays open to me and allows me to read each letter individually. Just as I know every of his dreams, every secret, every truth and every lie. He is my protector, my hero in every dark night and every bright day. Without him, I don't even know who I am. He is a part of me and my heart wouldn't be whole without him.

I watched him grow up. From the small, thin boy whose eyes hid so much pain and sadness to the strong, soulful leader he is today.

His beauty cannot be influenced by anything, he is like my very own sun, without him I could not survive.

I wouldn't want it any other way though.

Now, I'm hiding behind a tree with my back pressed against the bark and I am able to hear the cracking and swinging of the branches.

I smile so wide, that my cheeks start to hurt, when I hear his voice calling. My heart is beating in my throat, but it's not just the adrenaline of not getting caught. It's because of my love for him, which is so strong that sometimes I'm afraid of it. But only in the moments when I realize that nothing, but him is my biggest flaw. I think I would do anything for him.

Then I concentrate again and listen to the sounds around me. But his voice has fallen silent and I don't hear his footsteps anymore.

My eyebrows furrow, confused I try to look around the tree and search for an orange t-shirt. Likely together with his slim body, biceps, beautiful face and wonderful personality.

But when I want to withdraw again, it's already too late. A branch breaks behind me and before I can move I'm pushed against the tree from behind.

I immediately feel his body against mine, hear the laughter in his voice and listen to his strained breathing. His hands wrap around my body and turn me towards him, so that we are now face to face.

He's taller than me and as I look up, I feel the familiar fluttering feeling in my chest. I am so in love with him.

He grins triumphantly at me and I lean against the tree, smiling kindly.

"Found you, princess." The light reflects in his brown eyes and some of his curls are laying wildly on his head. He looks like an angel.

"I made it easy for you." My voice teases him and when he leans in so close to me, that our lips almost touch, I forget how to think properly. A habit I can't change. He's just so captivating.

"Yeah? You think I wouldn't have found you otherwise? Funny. I remember that in the last few years, I always was the winner of our little game." His lips brush mine, I want nothing more than to kiss him. But he knows that, which is why he slowly pulls back, when I start to lean forward.

When I want to complain, he puts his hand around my waist and pulls me into his chest. My knees almost give out, I feel so intoxicated by his presence.

"I-I wanted you to find me." My voice whispers quietly.

His eyebrows rise in mock surprise.

"Then I guess, I can claim my prize without feeling bad." In the next second, his lips are on mine and I'm unable to do anything, other than kissing him back. I wrap my arms around his neck and enjoy the warmth that radiates from him. He sets my heart on fire.

While pushing me against the tree, I've completely forgotten about, he lets his hands wrap possessively around my waist. Digging his nails into my hips, to keep me grounded. Otherwise, I would probably get lost in those sensations.

Luke kisses in a way, like it's the last time he'll have the chance. (As if I would ever want to keep him from doing that).

He's passionate, my body feels like it's on fire and the heat inside me feels so good, that I want more. I can never get enough of him and he knows it. He grins against my lips, but he doesn't break the kiss. I think he secretely loves knowing how much he can mess with me, with just a few kisses.

My hands find his hair and pull him closer to me, our chests touch and his breathing mingles with mine.

It is wonderful and so precious, I would refuse any gift from the gods just to be close to him.

When he pulls away from me, our bodies are still close. My eyes open and look dreamily into his, our gazes reflect a familiarity and love that is like nothing I have ever experienced.

He smiles at me, pushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear and leans himself against me. His fingers stroke the exposed skin of my pulled-up shirt.

"I've missed you." If my heart hasn't melted before, it has now. I give him a kiss on the cheek and hug him, we stand in our embrace for a moment. Enjoying each other's closeness, the calm feeling until the next chaotic situation happens.

"Now we are together again. Only that matters." It's quiet around us and when I close my eyes for the second time, I hear his fast heartbeat. I have to supress a smile.

The wind is the only thing I hear until his voice breaks the silence.

"Something will happen soon. Something big." The peaceful atmosphere is threatened by his words and when I look at his face again, I see his worried eyes.

I sigh, but then nod to agree with him. "I thought about that too, it feels different. Like something is coming our way, that we can't control."

His fingers stroke my cheek and for a moment, his face holds an expression, that I can't understand. It resembles regret.

But before I can ask him about it, he smiles tenderly at me again.

"Nothing will separate us. The world is just a game. It's a matter of time and making the right moves." That is his motto. But I'm not always convinced of this. Even though I trust him to do the right thing.

"I'm just worried we'll get seperated, you know? Evil can be sneaky and traitors always exist. You never know who you can trust." Something I said must have really bothered him, because he looks like I just stabbed him.

This time I ask him about it.

"What's on your mind? You can tell me. Two people who worry about something are better, than one who is alone with it." I take his hand and stroke his skin, it feels cold even though we have summer.

"Nothing, just- I don't want to lose you. I couldn't be here without you. I need you. I mean...I-I love you. You know that I would do anything to keep us together, right?"

His words surprise me. I know he loves me. I can sense that, everyone probably does. But he has never worn his heart on his sleeve and the three magical words only come out of his mouth on special occasions. The fact that he's telling me now surprises me.

"Of course. I trust you. We will survive together, I know that. Are you worried because of the rumors about the Titan King?" This topic is always very critical and he usually doesn't like to talk about it, but this time I decide to address it directly.

"He will come. I just want you to be safe, when it happens." He sounds so confident it gives me goosebumps.

"Perhaps. His followers will definitely try. But love is stronger than anything else. Especially our love. We will get through it." He doesn't look convinced, so I turn his face towards mine and kiss him.

My voice sounds soft, when I speak again.

"Luke, I love you. I could never leave you. Not even the King of the Underworld will be able to keep us apart. I promised to be by your side in every moment of our lives. You are my soul and without it I am damned."

This seems to reassure him, but I feel like he's not telling me something of great importance. But I don't want to push him, I know he will tell me when the time comes.

He always does.

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

As the day comes to an end, I say goodnight to my siblings and report for my night watch duty. The situation has been a lot more worse the recent weeks. Kronos exists, my worst fear was confirmed. And he is building an army, that is so strong that it will be difficult to fight against it. But what I'm really worried about are the rumors about our people, who have also joined his cause.

Nobody knows who, the spies have been hiding ever since. I've never felt like I was paying more attention to my words than I am now. The only person I don't have to hold back to is Luke.

But even with him I notice the effects of the bad news. The circles under his eyes are darker than ever and his nerves are so frayed, that every little thing makes him want to explode. His temper is hanging by a thread, that is increasingly threatening to break. And I'm trying everything to prevent this.

No matter if I try it by making him laugh (which has become difficult), massaging his tense shoulders, trying to kiss him to the point of forgetfulness (usually it's the other way around) or when he takes out his frustration by burying himself deep inside me. With every thrust of his hips, I feel him relax, his hand so tight around my body as if I would run away, if he didn't hold me close enough.

He's changing and I'm trying my best to maintain his good sides. That he doesn't completely lose himself in his responsibilities and the pressure, that he has, because he is a member of the camp council.

Besides, I can't complain, when he fucks me until I can't breathe aynmore and I block out everything around me. When he comes, he whispers the sweetest things in my ear. Even if sometimes they sound so protective, that I could almost come from his voice alone.

When he whispers to me how good I am for him or how much he loves being able to have such a power over me like that - maybe it should scare me, but I trust him like no one else.

My mind concentrated his best for my shift, but when I finally go to bed after quiet some time, my eyes quickly close.

Looking back, I wish I had never let myself sleep that night.

Because, when I close my eyes I see waves. Hear the seagulls screaming in the sky, the fish swimming in the water and the distant cries of strangers.

It's all unusual and the bright light would blind me, if I didn't avert my gaze. And as soon as I do it, I see a ship. It's huge, rust shimmers in the sunrays, the anchor shows that it's been in the same place for a while now.

I feel something pulling me towards it, pushing and burning in my chest, leaving me with a tremor that I can feel, even in my deep sleep.

As I flit through the window like a ghost, I feel paralyzed. My blood freezes, I want to disappear immediately and in my mind I scream at myself to wake up.

But it's no use, whatever is here, someone decided that I have to see it. Only then, my wish will be fulfilled and I can wake up. So, I hide in a corner, there are scratched picture frames above me and broken glass is scattered on the floor. The monsters that loudly crush the glass ahead of me seem unstoppable.

I tremble as I look at at least seven dracaenae, several shaggy hellhounds and set my eyes on gigantes, that take up almost the entire room.

But that is nothing compared to the terror, that grips me when I see my classmates. My friends. People I trusted, who I fought alongside, for who I cared about. People I would have sacrificed myself for. They all betrayed me. And I feel close to tears. When I want to turn away, I hear a voice that almost brings me to my knees.

It's Luke.

My faithful and caring protector, my heroic love. Someone, to which I had dedicated everything. He was my life, with every single breath I took. The motivation behind my every action. The reason I wanted to survive in this cruel world. He was everything I had and everything I will ever have and in that moment it was abruptly taken from me.

I didn't have the strength to concentrate, it was as if every fiber of my body was on fire, triggered by the torment of my suffering heart. Seeing him like that, in black armor, Kronos' silver mark glittering around his neck, instead of his colorful necklace. A stoic, hostile expression on his face, his hands gripping his sword, it all hurt too much to watch.

And as I sank to the floor and covered my eyes with my hands, I was still forced to listen. I couldn't understand why he was saying such things.

"With every day he becomes stronger, with every participation in our army, we become stronger. Everything is planned, the camp is weak. Just like all of its residents. The surprise is on our side, because we will show no mercy. We will kill anyone, who does not confess to us. Do you hear me? No hostages will be taken. Only Hades population will be expanded."

The screams around me are so loud, so angry and horrific that I feel tears running down my cheeks.

I don't want to see any of that. The person infront of me is not my Luke.

A kind of fog creeps around me and I feel cold, it seems too late to forget it now. When I notice the golden coffin and Lukes hunched posture, the scar on the side of his face, I realize he is praying to him.

To the fall of Olympus. Kronos.

I want to cry, to scream, to be angry - but I just feel like every part of my heart is breaking and will never be whole again. Luke will never again be the one to heal it.

My consciousness leaves the ship until I finally wake up, but I can't move at first. I feel lost, my muscles are stiff and after a few seconds I notice that I'm shaking. But it's not because I'm cold, the summer air is wafting in the air.

Such dreams are rare, but are like the own scary predictions of the future.

And then it comes all back so me, the memories, that have just turned my whole life upside down. Traitor. The word appears in my mind, I feel like I almost can't breathe. And then there is a finger on my cheek, gently stroking the skin and my chest immediately becomes warm.

I know this gesture.

When I open my eyes, I see his loving eyes and the smile that covers his mouth makes my heart clench in sorrow.

It was just a nightmare. Luke would never betray me.

But the whispers in my head say otherwise.

As we continue to look at each other in silent, I notice his furrowed eyebrows.

"What's wrong, my love? Did you have a nightmare? You look scared. Don't be afraid, I'm here. I will always protect you." His voice is so calm, so usual loving and it makes the butterflies in my stomach fly around like crazy.

He is so beautiful.

As he briefly turns his head to tighten the blanket around me, I see his side profile and the scar. Reminders of my dream crash onto me like a lightning strike from Zeus himself.

I sat up abruptly. Luke is a servant of our enemy. How could I ignore that? I feel like I'm almost starting to hyperventilate. The thought, this nightmare, Luke's appearance, this evil feeling - it makes me sick. And I'm suddenly so afraid, more than I have ever been in my life. But I can't tell if it's the fact that I just found out he joined Cronos' army or that he broke my heart doing so.

I see him tense, my panic seems to be affecting him too.

My thoughts are so confusing, I don't know what to do, I have to tell someone. I have to-

His hands find their way to my cheeks, cupping them gently to direct his gaze towards himself. I would have preferred not to look at him, but I have no choice. His eyes search mine.

Then, as if the weight of Atlas punishment was put on his shoulders, he lowers them. His lips tremble slightly and his eyes look at me, as if I am the most valuable thing in the world and he is about to lose it.

"You know it." He doesn't have to say what he means by that. We both know.

I want to break away from him, but he won't let me. He's always been much stronger.

But everything still feels so different, light surrounds us and I can't really feel my body.

"Listen to me, please. I can explain it. Please-" The world goes silent, before he can finish his sentence.

It is too much.

I stifle a scream. I want to jump out of bed, but his hands hold me close. I only manage to fall to the ground, breathing heavily, but his arms are much stronger and I'm still weakened by my dream. He trys to hold me in a position, so that his back hugs me. His hands grab mine and one of them covers my mouth to silence me, when I want to scream for help.

With any other person, I would have known what to do. With anyone but him, I could have defended myself without any problems. But it wasn't just anyone and what he had done to me, the betrayal he had committed, was nothing I could handle.

I tried to wriggle out of his grip, to kick him, but the more I cried and the more hysterical I became, the easier it was for him to have control over me.

And for the first time, it scared me.

"Please calm down, I have to explain it to you- you have to know, that I never wanted to deceive you, please-" I notice how his voice is failing and he has to pull himself together, to not to lose his composure.

When I shake his hand away and want to yell again, he grabs my neck with such a warning force, that no sound escapes me.

I tremble in his hold. Tears stream down my cheeks and I literally feel my heart breaking.

Then he starts whispering in my ear and his grip feels like a tragic prison.

"Nobody can know. I never wanted you to find out. Not until I convinced you, that it is the right thing to join him. Because he will win, sweetheart. I want us to win by his side." His voice sounds so confident and at the same time, as if he was a completely different person.

Tears continue running down my face and he slightly let's go of me, so he can comfort me.

"If you would just listen to me, you will understand my actions. Please, just listen to me-" but the world blurs infront of my eyes and I am only able to whisper three words, before darkness surrounds me.

"You betrayed me."

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

When I wake up, my head hurts so much, that it takes me several minutes to open my eyes. When I finally do it, I almost have a heart attack.

I recognize the similarity of this room from my dream. When I stand up, I run to the round window and look out, being only able to see the blue sea. Feeling empty and alone.

When I want to step out the door, I expect it to be locked. But instead the handle turns and I step out of the room. I'm so surprised about that, that I'm acting without thinking twice.

As I walk around the next corner, the deck creaks and I see an ugly creature in front of me, that makes every instinct to escape kick in.

I run in the other direction, but every turn makes me more desperate and, without any consideration, I run into the hall, I was so afraid of.

It is filled with all kinds of ciders, and I also see the figures of my classmates, wounded and unhappy.

It's all so overwhelming, that I dont even see him standing on the podium, in the first place.

But as the monsters try to grab me, his voice echoes through the room with an affable authority.

"Nobody touches her. You hear me? Nobody. She is under my protection." I almost freeze into a stature, as he comes towards me and I have no way of avoiding him. No weapon is within my reach, his eyes notice my growing panic.

"Everyone leaves the room. Now." Nobody discusses it, even if some roll their eyes or quietly protest. His authority is unquestioned, it sends a cold shiver down my spine.

When the last doors slam shut, we stand a few meters opposite each other.

"The doors are guarded." It's the first thing he says.

When he tries to approach me, I lose my nerves and run to the corner with the broken glass, that I saw in my dream. I take them in my hands.

I see his eyes widen and he stops in his tracks.

"You- you want to fight me?" He actually sounds surprised and sad. Like I was the one who betrayed him and not the other way around.

"Don't come any closer. I may not have been able to do anything last time, but if you take one step closer then-" I don't know what to say. In no scenario did I ever think, I would have to threaten him.

But despite my warning, he comes towards me with his hands raised, the panic within me so palpable, that I can feel every muscle in my body.

I dodge, when he is only a few meters in front of me. Right into the next corner. As far away from him as possible.

"Princess, you can't keep me away forever. I've always loved that about you. You need me as much as you need to breathe."

It's supposed to sound sweet, but his words make me feel sick

"I'd rather suffocate." He didn't expect that. My words hit him so unexpectedly that he is almost speechless. Almost.

"I won't hurt you. You just have to let me get to you and I'll show you everything. You will understand, believe me." He really thinks, I'll just stay by his side and let him explain.

"Are you crazy? You're a traitor, Luke. You- you betrayed everyone. You betrayed me. How could you do this?" I suppress my tears, because that's exactly what he's waiting for. That my defense becomes weaker. I can't allow this.

"You dont understand. I always told you I would protect you. And I can only do that, if I'm on the winning side. And I am now. We are." His eyes flash with a craziness that makes me tremble. I don't recognize him.

"Why are you acting this way? You are doing the wrong thing - you give up everything. You're giving up on us." Tears leave my eyes and I see him take a few steps in my direction.

"I'm doing the right thing for us. You'll see. You just have to trust me, please. You know I always win. With the power he gives me, I will be invincible. You don't have to worry about one of us dying in this war anymore." I can't move, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have a way out now. He's too close.

"You are wrong. I would rather die in this war than join this monster and his deceitful army." The shards in my hand hurt, but I don't let them go. They're the only thing I can use to defend myself.

"You would leave me?" His eyes are staring into my soul.

"Would you fight me?" Every word is more intimidating.

"Would you stop loving me?" His words are like his own shards, leaving deep wounds in my heart.

He's standing right in front of me now, looking at me like I'm fragile.

Then he whispers "Would you kill me?"

In the next second, he suddenly has my hands in his, making me drop the glass. Be is only a few centimeters away from me now, his eyes are looking into my own.

"Would you, princess? Then show me." Suddenly he does something, I would have never expected. He takes out his sword and puts it in my hands.

His own hands go behind his back, his eyes tempting me. I feel all the blood in my body drain.

"Do it. I can't live in a world, where you don't love me anymore. In which you are no longer by my side. I am yours. That will never change, just like my love for you."

I can barely hold the sword, it's so wobbly in my hands. He stands in front of me and gives me every chance to defeat him. But I can't move.

It's quiet for a moment, then I see new hope in his eyes and when he speaks again, the tone of his voice melts my heart.

"What did you say a few months ago, you would always let me win? Let's win together this time. Please, just listen to me." His hand strokes my cheek. Wipes away the tears.

Then he drops his hand and grasps his sword, letting it fall to the ground.

He takes my hand instead.

"Follow me." He pulls me behind him, closer and closer to the golden coffin, it's like I'm in a trance, but when I finally feel the cold aura of something cruel, I'm able to think clearly again.

"No-" I don't want to be one step closer to this thing.

He turns around so quickly, that I can only slap his cheek, before he grabs me again.

"That was for kidnapping me. Let me go now!" I want to avoid his grasp. But again he does something I don't expect.

He holds me still, catches my gaze and then, kisses me so gently that the feeling alone makes me almost completely defenseless. His hands cup my cheeks, grip my hair, hold my body.

This is probably his worst trick. I've never been able to resist one of his kisses. And he knows that. He uses it against me.

Then he murmurs words against my lips, that barely reach my ears.

My heart is pounding in my throat.

"You feel this? We belong together. It is not written anywhere on which side we need to be. As long as we are together." His fingers stroke my lower lip, his figure towers over me and for a moment my surroundings fade. It's almost like always.

But he's not wearing his orange t-shirt, his expression isn't relaxed, and I don't hear any insults from the camp members in the distance.

"You're manipulating me." I am powerless against him. I thought we were on the same team, that no one had more power over the other one. But I was so wrong.

His eyebrows furrow again, and when his hands try to pull me against him, I hit his chest, without thinking, with the only piece of glass I hid in my pocket. But unlike I expected, nothing happens. The shard bounces off his skin and falls loudly to the ground. I can only stare at him in disbelief.

"How-" He just looks at me worried, no anger is visible in his eyes.

"You can't hurt me. I have the curse of Achilles upon me." I suddenly become aware of the effect the lake Styx in the underworld hast and I almost fall to the ground at the realization, my knees weaken.

"That was a test earlier. You wanted to see if I would kill you-" my voice fails.

He just looks at me sadly and smiles in regret. My heart becomes heavy.

"And I knew you wouldn't hurt me on purpose. You would never hurt someone you love. Not if you'd kill me in the process." What can I do? He knows me better than anyone, he can see right through my every thought.

"I can't do this, Luke. I-I can't be together with you, if you are like this." I'm serious, but he doesn't believe me.

"That's what you think, but it's a lie. The sooner you admit it to yourself, the more pain you avoid. Our souls are linked together, without me you are not able to live. I know, that you will continue to love me, no matter what I decide to do. That's how much you love me. You would rather die than not loving me."

I can't listen to him. I can't.

But his eyes are like all the promises in the world. He is my world. How could I ever forget that?

"Please come back with me, Luke. I-I won't tell anyone, but please. Let's go, let's forget everything, please-" I cant deal with this anymore. It's like he's draining all the energy out of me. More with every word, that leaves his lips.

"I can not do that. It will stay the way it is now. Don't fight against me, fight with me. You are so smart and loyal, you will be convinced. He will show you." His eyes now flash with something that frightens me. I see his hunger for power, something that has always been dormant within him.

"Luke, the only thing I ever really wanted was you. No power, no war, no prosperity. Only you. But I'm about to lose you. Don´t do this to me, I beg you." My hands find his face, stroke the skin and I look into his eyes. But they are no longer the same ones I fell in love with.

I never thought he would love having power more than he loves me. It breaks my heart.

"I have decided. Nothing will change about that. Not even your pleadings. I'm sorry." His eyes reflect my desperation.

"What's holding you back? All you need is me." He says it so confident, that I almost wonder, why I don´t agree with him.

But my conscience has always been my greatest strength.

"I won't betray them. I couldn't live with myself, if I did." He takes a step back.

"But you could live without me? You would rather be by Jackson's side than mine?" His words hurt me. But he speaks the truth.

"I love you Luke, more than I ever thought was possible. But just as you put power before me, I put loyalty first. And I'm not sorry about that."

Frustration finally seeps through his perfect facade. I wonder how long he's been playing with me. The thought of it makes everything inside me tighten.

"I am not letting you go. Our fate is set. You will recognize it too and when that happens, you will be on my side."

His conviction frightens me, but this time it doesn't freeze me into a statue. Now, I'm running away.

And luckely, he didn't expect that.

For a few minutes now I've noticed one of the windows, that doesn't look very stable. I just have to jump against it to open it.

"NO!" Luke's voice echoes across the room, loud and warning, but it doesn't stop me. Before he can catch up with me, I jump towards the window, my shoulder hurts, but I was right, it breaks.

But I didn't think about the height difference and I realize it might be too late to do something about it now.

As I try to hold on to the wall outside, two thoughts repeat in my mind.

Either I die or I'm trapped.

Then I hear Luke's voice. He sounds desperate and at the same time angry, like I have never heard him before.

The wall is slippery and it takes every bit of strength in me not to fall, I know it would be my death. I hold on to the broken wall.

"She is outside. Get her back, NOW!" My muscles hurt and I don't know what to do. Then I hear the loud beating of wings. Before I can see who it is, I hear Percy's quiet voice. I feel like crying.

"Drop down, I've got you." I have to trust him. So, I let myself fall without thinking.

Then I feel myself landing on something soft, I hold on to it and my knuckles turn white.

The screams and shouts of the monsters make me tremble, I just want to get out of here. Even if it means, that I perhaps will never see Luke again.

"Come on, now. They'll be here soon." As the wings of the Pegasus move towards the sky, towards freedom, I let the tears fall. The wind is beating around my ears and I can only see in the corner of my eyes that we are getting closer to the clouds.

Luke's threatening voice is the last thing I remember as I close my eyes from the grief of leaving him.

#percy jackon and the olympians #luke castellan #x reader #greek gods #love #betrayal #angst #percy pjo #percy series #annabeth chase #percy jackson

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owainigo · 2 months

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How do you stay so cool and awesome 🥶 erm also who/what are ur biggest art inspirations? Also you make so many detailed pieces do have any tips for not burning out? From ur biggest fan, spongeboab.

in terms of burn out: i trained myself to draw very fast so none of my pieces take me over ten hours individually. that way i tend to get them done pretty quick and dont have to struggle with trying to come back to finish them although i still end up with a lot of wips of course. i also make sure to spend a lot of time doing stuff that isnt drawing, especially stuff like watching movies or playing games so that i recharge creatively. in uni i had classmates who said they didnt watch movies or play games (even though we were in game art..) read books or listen to music etc, nothing else creatively or any other hobbies and they were always the fastest to burn out and fall behind. its really important to take time to look at what other people are making and that doesnt just mean scrolling social media and looking at pictures there but you know going to see something or maybe trying to crochet something if youre into that anything really. also switching between traditional and digital can help (even just having a traditional sketchbook. i draw random things on paper when im especially frustrated)

some big art inspirations in no particular order and not including everyone ever:

kazuma kaneko

2. denis sarazhin

3. yamada akihiro

4. ryuichiro kutsuzawa

okay my cat keeps climbing on my computer so instead of finsihign these collages while he messes witheverything im just going to list the rest

satoshi kon, edouard caplain, ashley wood, piotr jablonski, shigenori soejima, yoshitaka amano among others

#anon

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yuurei20 · 6 months

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Strange question but!! Yk how the villains are treated as heroes? How on earth did the heroes stories work if they, uh, yk, dont have the villains? Like i briefly remember TWST!Jafar hijacking Aladdin’s plan to fake being a prince, so theres not rlly any more “aladdin” story, but im curious how other stories went if u know! Are the OG heroes still treated as heroes, etc etc, that fun stuff

Hello hello! Thank you so much for this question!!

The different interpretations of history that seem exist in Twst are fascinating, and one of my favorite things is the part in Book 6 where Lilia seems to insinuate that the Disney stories that we know might not actually be what really happened, because history is written by the victors:

These "classic" stories--were they, too, twisted to suit an agenda? Is the truth closer to what is taught as history in Twst, or is it somewhere in the middle? It is so interesting to think about!

For the most part it seems that the heroes from the stories we know are not turned into villains in Twst, and the deeds that are attributed to them were actually done by multiple characters from different folklore:

For example, Harveston has stories about miners and customs based on "a young lady who made a wish at a well," a "traveler" who cleaned a stranger's home and then a tale about "some princess who wished to fall in love right away," as if the young lady, princess and traveler are three separate people.

While basing their traditions on the miners, the lady and traveler, they also deify the Fairest Queen, as if they are all independent individuals with no overlap.

One of the more interesting parts of the Fairest Queen's history, in particular, is that there is actually a "dastardly villain" in Harveston folklore that stalks a woman who is then saved by forest creatures.

The huntsman is--just like the queen--not a villain in the Twst universe. Who was who, and what really happened? 👀

For the Scalding Sands, it seems that the unnamed princess and the sultan from local stories are just as revered as the Sorcerer of the Sands himself, with the sultan known to be the person who named the Sorcerer as his vizier and retaining their connection from the story we know.

Much like in Harveston, the history of the Scalding Sands seems to attribute what we believe to be the history of just one character to multiple individuals: Kalim talks about the Sorcerer saving his country from a street rat, who was a swindler/charlatan/usurper who tried to trick the sultan and princess, in a rare case of a "hero" being vilified.

But they also have folklore about "a poor but kind-hearted young man" who shared his food with children, and whose marriage to the beautiful princess they celebrate every year with a festival.

Whereas the Disney movies make the charlatan and the kind man into one person, in Twst's history it seems they were two different people.

Diasomnia is very big on the Thorn Fairy, and they also talk about the human king who feared her, the princess whose birthday she was not invited to (Silver: "Was their king raised in a barn?") and the three presents that the princess received.

Lilia talks about a trio of fairies that were not able to break the Thorn Fairy's curses and also put an entire kingdom to sleep, while Silver comments on how Lilia is consciously, intentionally emulating the three fairies from that tale with his cooking.

Silver and Malleus discuss "some faeries" raising a child for 16 years without magic, but they do not seem to know why they did so, and it is unclear if they believe that those faeries and the three faeries that put the kingdom to sleep are the same or different people.

Heartslabyul seems to separate Alice into two different characters as well, referring to a 1-km-tall giant that the Queen of Hearts tried in court and a child that got lost in the castle as if they were two people.

The only reference we get of the "heroes" of the Lion King tale are Jack referring to the King of Beast's "rascal of a nephew" and Leona mentioning that he deposed his brother "to build a better, wiser kingdom."

While the characters seem similar to the stories we know it's possible that the timelines are slightly different, with the rebirth of the pridelands being attributed to the King of Beasts himself rather than his nephew.

The history of the Sea Witch in Twst might be the most fascinating: the characters reference the Sea Witch taking someone's voice for a contract and making a shapeshifting potion to facilitate love between a mermaid and a human, but also turning herself into a human and being proposed to by a prince the next day, with no acknowledgement that the human from the first tale and the prince from the second might have been the same person.

They also talk about the eels flipping over a boat and a mermaid princess who had trouble walking on land, but there is no mention of the princess being in the boat in the eel story.

Octavinelle even acknowledges that the Sea Witch once made herself huge and sunk a ship with a whirlpool and "some even labeled her a monster," saying that she was later lauded as a compassionate figure after turning over a new leaf. (While the less-than-pleasant deeds done by the Sorcerer, the Fairest Queen and the King of Beasts in the stories that we know are never mentioned.)

Silver's tale from Halloween seems to be an exception to this rule. Everything done by the "hero" in the tale we know is still attributed to the hero in the story that Silver knows, and the enemy army is still the enemy army.

To the initial question: it seems that the heroes from the histories that we know are still being regarded as heroes in Twst (though they tend to get separated into multiple people), while the characters that we know as villains are also highly regarded. This sometimes includes their pasts (in the case of the Sea Witch and the Queen of Hearts), being separated from their pasts (in the case of the Hunter) or with no mention of their pasts (the King of Beasts, the Sorcerer of the Sands, the Fairest Queen, the Thorn Fairy).

(Not a lot of information about the King of the Underworld when compared to the others! Idia mostly just talks about how charismatic he was. Ortho suggests something about "the truth" about him being closer to Idia's own situation than they have been taught, but Idia is not convinced.)

Also: there is a reference to a hero rescuing his ladylove from the Underworld in Book 6, so it seems the hero in that tale remains a hero in Twst as well!

#twstask

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firefly--bright · 6 months

Text

lovesick.

jean kirstein x gender neutral! reader. modern a.u.

summary : jean always felt like a fool around you. you've been a fool to not see it.

warnings : very subtle themes of religion (expected at this point)

a/n : y'all are getting FED. pure fluff to make up for peeks and blinders. i hope you like this :)

masterlist is linked in pinned post! ✿ requests are open! ✿ enter my taglist. ✿

taglist : @jeanscremebrulee , @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody .

✿ inspired by this laufey song ✿

he stayed with you for three nights.

before his flight back to his hometown for thanksgiving - an invitation for which had been extended to you as well, by Jean's mom. you had refused politely. you didn't want to come in between a special family holiday with their own traditions. jean tried to persuade you, told you that he'd be so bored without you there, that you're going to like it, but you brushed it away anyway. said you really didn't want to be a bother, flight tickets would be even more expensive with you there, Jean's mother would have to prepare extra food for you. you'd take too much space, you said.

jean said that it was a space he'd let you take. you shook your head with a smile.

before leaving, however, the two of you decided to spend three nights together. everyone had already left to see their families - sasha and Connie had taken the road, Marco left by flight as well. your apartment felt eerily empty so you asked jean one night, tipsy on cheap and old wine, to stay with you for the last three days he was there. after which you would see him - and by extension, everyone - a week after new years. you'd be stuck here, in an empty apartment, all alone, and he really shouldn't be leaving his dear best friend alone to rot, should he?

and jean had been so stupid to agree. he knew he shouldn't have after what he discovered he kept feeling about you. but you were looking at him with such conviction and warmth that he had to.

god, he was so lovesick. it made him feel stupid, really. but it was you, so he didn't really mind it. he'd learnt to shed any sort of discomfort with you.

well, he hadn't learnt it. you had just coaxed him into it without even using your voice.

he rolled his eyes and agreed.

"alright, alright, fine. I'll stay over. but I need to pack first."

you smiled brilliantly. "done!" his heart leapt out of his chest and into your warm arms that were currently trying to pour some more wine. he moved the bottle away from your hand.

"no more wine for you," he said, pushing a forgotten glass of water your way. "have some of this instead."

your smile didn't dissapear, though, and Jean hoped that his heart was still beating in your hands. you just looked at him with your cheek resting on the table and you looked so comfortable in that blue sweater of yours, with him. you lift your head up and drink the water diligently.

he was so, so stupid.

he got everything packed in two hours. made sure everything was organized and easy to remove, and left the suitcases next to your door so he could leave directly from your apartment to the airport. you smiled, again, when you welcome him in, proposing to go to the ice cream parlor.

it was winter. jean grumbled as he adjusted on your couch to glimpse at you from the corner of his eye. you were rummaging in your kitchen for something - chocolate - when you asked him if he wanted to go there with you. he rolled his eyes.

"it's winter." he reminded you. as if you could forget.

"please. you know I don't want the ice cream there. it's the ho-"

"hot chocolate, yeah, I know. that's not why I said it's winter. i dont want to walk in this cold." he complains, but he's already getting ready to move from the couch.

"you make it sound like it's a grand mission." you say, but you've gotten the hint as you, too, move to grab your coat from the rack near the door.

"well, it is, for me. my toes freeze up just like your hands do." he says, but again, he's already slipping his shoes on.

you smile teasingly. "whats the point in having such long legs if you're not going to use them?" you're slipping your phone, wallet and keys into your pockets.

he wears his coat. "self defense." he says. it's not the most normal answer. it makes you laugh as you close the door behind you with a click, locking it. jean would continue to say anything you want him to to make you laugh.

you don't ask him to say anything. he does it anyway. the walk to the ice cream parlor is short, and jean wonders if it's going to snow soon.

"i hope it snows," you say, almost reading his mind. jean isn't even surprised by it. he nods, muttering "same."

"i thought you hated cold?" you say. he should've guessed you would've said that because it's so obivous, the low hanging fruit that came back to bite him in the ass.

"snow is different from cold," he lies, "it's..." he trails off. it's idiotic. he didn't even have anything to say. you breathe out a laugh.

"it's what? better than rain?" you bump your shoulder into his.

"anything is better than rain." he answers, shaking his head, "snow is like if rain was cooler and better." he says, adding a "literally cooler." at the end.

it makes you laugh again, but softer this time. it wasn't that funny. he notes that down in his head like he's going to be quizzed on it later.

"i knew you'd say that." you speak. your warm breath gets fogged up against the cool weather.

the sentence is said in one breath, a certain softness and confession to it. of course you knew what he'd say, out of all people, you would. you'd know what he was planning to do, how the gears inside his body worked, and still let your gears work right beside his anyway. he was sure you knew every little working of his stupid heart except for the fact that it beat only for you.

your shoulders are brushing again. he licks his drying lips, trying to come up with a better joke to pass the time. not that he had to, because silence with you wasnt uncomfortable or forced. it felt like peace, like a small pocket of warmth that couldn't be broken. but he wanted to hear your laugh again; the sound was his own pocket of warmth, even if you complained, sometimes, about your laugh being too loud and boisterous, he didn't care because you were happy and smiling and he wouldn't do anything to take that away.

he's still thinking of what to say when there's a buzz in both of your pockets - someone messaged the group chat. he watches as you pull your phone out of your pocket, typing in an answer that makes his phone vibrate again. he takes a peek at your screen.

Marco :D : my mom is going crazy over how many people she invited :')

she's showing me off to all her friends ijdlsk

constance : I'd show you off if I was your mom too tbh

sasha <3 : agreed

aww say hi to your mom for us!!

Marco :D : will do!! wish you guys were here tho :/

constance : kinda miss annoying jean right about now

sasha <3 : *atttachment : 1 image*

it was a picture of Connie sitting in the driver's seat in their parked car, and his phone was open to a video of jean grumbling something under his breath and connie leaning in close to him snickering and whispering a joke in his ear.

sasha <3 : he was watching this the entire ride while I was drivinf

constance : stop EXPOSING me

jean hears you snort out a small laugh. he sighs in annoyance, saying "I don't miss it." as an obvious lie.

you breathe out another laugh; jean wins again, and hold up the phone to take a picture of the two of you. it's a little blurry when you click it, jean holds a small smile looking at you and you hold up a peace sign with a smile that's yours.

the picture is sent to the groupchat. jean loops his arm into yours so you don't stray too far away from him while typing out 'trip 2 ice cream parlor for the hot choco'

Marco replies instantly.

marco :D : you two are inseparable istg :') send hot choco pics

constance : Marco asking for hot choclate pics like people ask for nudes

I'm 6'3 btw

sasha <3 : LIARRR

also wow hot chocolate without me????? sin.

you smile before switching your phone off and slipping it back into your pocket, saying something about how the two of you should steal their hot chocolate recipie. jean nods half-heartedly.

his mind is on fire. 'you two are inseparable istg' in Marco's words, something he hadn't thought about before. he didn't have to think about it, either, because being with you didn't make him question it. of course he'd always come back to you even if his bones were charred from the inside, even if his body screamed at him to take rest. you were his rest.

he thinks about how yes, the two of you are inseparable, and maybe he's being delusional, but he thinks about how you co-exist with him so peacefully : a feat noone could do with a smile on your face. there has to be cold to imply the existence of warmth, there had to be chaos to imply peace. there had to be you for there to be a him. he thinks about how glad he is to exist the same time and same place as you, your arms linked and pace synchronized. you rest your head on his shoulder when you walk. he thinks about how the two of you simply breathing in such close proximity beat all odds.

his heart beat faster at the thought. or maybe it didn't, maybe he was just aware of the fact that he had one, maybe you were the only one that could make him listen to his own heart that he had forgetten existed for a while.

an ungodly amount of hot chocolate had been drunk only because your "jean they have a discount and it's winter. we have to." persuasion had worked like always, and he had refused to let you pay like always, and you were rubbing your full belly as you unlocked the door to your apartment. it was dark now, reminding jean that winter had a way of forcing stillness and silence before it was due, but it didn't feel that way anymore. it didn't feel like there was a stillness or stiffness because the lights in your apartment were warm, and the hot chocolate had oiled up the machine of his body as much as your presence had. you removed your coat and shoes near the door and jean looked at you, surrounded with these lights and this warmth and softness and thought about how perfectly you belonged here. with him, sharing a space, the same air, the same layers. and he thought about how he belonged here too. with you.

"wish we could do that everyday," you claim, stretching your arms above your head, fingers interlocked. jean scoffed.

"im concerned about your diet." he said.

"it was the best meal we've ever had! if I commit murder and i'm put on death row-"

"death row doesn't exist in this state-"

"then I'd want, like, a whole barrel of hot chocolate as my last meal. with whipped cream on top."

"i think you'd be dead by chocolate overdose instead of the actual punishment."

you smiled, and jean swore he'd melt despite the cold weather after seeing the glint in your eye. "exactly. don't act like you wouldn't like to die by chocolate consumption. I've seen the way you look at chocolate ice cream."

jean clenches his jaw because you're right. "i dont look at-"

"yes you do. you look at it like it just like you look at Reiner's cat."

"she has a name, yknow." he reminds you, sitting beside you on your couch. his arms fold on top of his chest to keep his hands from straying and holding yours. hes afraid you'd feel the yearning behind his touch, because it was something he couldn't control. he could control his tongue from telling you about it, he could control his thoughts to an extent, he could control his stupid heart to an extent, but not his touch.

"right, my bad. what's her name, again?" you ask, just because you know it'll get a rise out of him.

it does.

"it's mcflurry. the fact that you forgot speaks a lot about your character, just so you know. im judging you."

you giggle. he loves it. "you're always judging everyone."

"not you. never you." he says. he doesn't just mean it for the judging everyone part, though, because his voice is soft and startlingly slow, enunciating every syllable because he wanted you to know. he wanted you to know and understand that he'd never not give you the benefit of doubt. he'd never doubt you in the first place.

you're not startled. you smile to match the tone of his voice and eyes. he inhales.

"thank you." you say. you want to say much more. jean doesn't need to hear much more though, because he knows already. he knows that you're not thanking him out of obligation, but out of devotion. like he had thanked the skies out of relief after his middle school English teacher got fired. it was deserved, honestly, the guy had it coming, and all the students had an unsaid hatred towards him-

your hand rests on his shoulder, rubbing the fabric of his shirt. jean exhales.

"whadya wanna watch?" you ask, reaching for the remote on the coffee table, your hand still on his shoulder as if you belong there.

you do.

"that episode of new girl we left out on." he says.

you smile. he belongs there. "fuck yes."

despite thinking that he'd sleep in and relax, his eyes woke him up just as the sun came up, which was to say extremely early. jean groaned as he stretched his limbs, finding himself on the sofa just as he was left last night; only without you. you had fallen asleep on his shoulder and he refused to move until you'd wake up, which turned out to be only twenty minutes ago. his head fell on yours and he fell asleep as such, and his mind quietened with the sound of the t.v. and your soft snores in his ear.

he blinked his bleary eyes up, his bones creaking in protest. but he didn't let them be heard because he found you, with your back facing him, outside the small balcony of your apartment.

it wasn't even a balcony - when you first moved in, it was just an empty space attached to the large window that was unkept and dirty. sasha and Mikasa, her previous roommate, didn't find that much of a use there anymore, but you did. you insisted on renovating the little platform, adding fake and real plants along with a small mat on the ground so anyone could sit there. come every small celebration, you'd decorate it with fairy lights and different ornaments, and jean found it all too endearing how you kept making things yours, including the kitchen that now held mugs with sayings that had outdated humor on them that you had purchased 'ironically', the couch which was now covered in a blanket you had found in a thrift store, the walls where you'd stuck up pictures of all of them together and little sticky notes that the five of you had passed around to each other during class throughout the year, and Jean's heart.

he'd let you rip apart any semblance of empty space in the workings of the pumping organ if you promised to make it yours in the process. and you had, somehow, because his heart now refused to feel empty, and just like you did with the apartment, you had marked every rusted and untamed part of him with your own touch and words that would play on repeat in his chambers for a long time.

he gets up from his place on the couch, passing a hand through his hair before making his way to where you stood outside. you were leaning on the railings, your chin resting on your palm. if he had to guess, it was almost 8 in the morning, the sun was shining in the way it always did in the winters - it's presence was known but shone only softly, refusing to be forgotten. jean leaned on the railing in the space right beside you, shoulders touching yet again.

you smiled at him. "good morning." you said, and your voice matched the skies above you - soft and refusing to be forgotten. he'd never forget you.

he smiled back, face scrunching up so his eyes were squinting as he looked at you, still getting used to the morning light. "morning." he replies raspily. "couldn't sleep?"

you shook your head, looking at the treetops below you. "slept well enough. thanks for being my pillow."

jean's ears redden. you're convinced it's the cold. "youre welcome." he wants to make a joke about how his services would need a payment, but he's too lost in the way your face is lit up by the sun to say anything.

even if you're looking away from him, he can see the shine in your eyes. you've always said, in your own way, that his eyes were really pretty, but he'd argue that it was your eyes that were pretty because only yours could meet his the way they did. only yours looked at him the way they did, only yours had the courage to. only yours could see the way you saw the world.

he looks at the way your lips are shining - he had noticed how whenever they were chapped and dry youd lick your lips a little too much. he had carved all your little traits into the forefront of his skull, drawing in shapes and filling in the blanks of the expanse so that it could be filled with you- your smile, your eyes, your hands, your laugh, your blinks. everything.

god, he thinks, he's so lovesick.

the wind brushes his hair away from his face. he can tell you're shivering slightly even if your arms are under a layer of thick sweater, and his chest heaves slowly - inhale, exhale, inhale - he tucks you under his arm to keep you warm. you smile. - exhale.

if there was a god that day, he was sure that he was out to get jean when he saw you use his mother's noodle soup recipe, warm foods to keep his insides safe not knowing that you were doing that already by just being there. the pair of you had the soup in two servings each, the second one topped with that new chilly crisp you had gotten, the one that made Jean's mouth turn into a puddle, and he was sure whatever fates had aligned that day were out to get jean because his stupid heart did that stupid thing it always did when he was around you. it didn't skip a beat anything poetic like the Hallmark movies, no, instead it stayed there, in his chest because that's where you belonged. it stayed with you, in his chest, in his wheezing, creaking, old machine that was only just realising that it was creaking and wheezing because it was loved.

and he swore he was down on his luck because he saw you dancing to the end credits of yet another shitty movie that you had jokingly decided to hate-watch but only ended up slightly liking - an opinion he would not share with anyone else but you - unsynchronised to the beat of the song, not knowing what to do with your hands, until jean joined you in the cramped space infront of your t.v. where you were dancing and held them, held your hands, guiding them to the melody, telling them what to do with a softness that was only reserved for you.

stupid beating heart.

when the last day rolled around, jean refused to move from his seat on your bed. the laptop you had decided to get homework done on was left askew on the unmade and comfortable bed, and Jean's neck held a small ache at its base, but it was worth it because you were beside him and he was sure your own neck had the same pains he had. it was well into noon, and unlike the previous day where the pair of you had woken up early, you were still dozing off at his side, rolled over with your back facing him.

he had never known this type of peace. the silence that coated the room was welcome to the point that it felt like it had always been there, something jean was only just realising.

he sighed. wondered about how his life had gone on without you in it for so long, how he'd been clambering for meaning not knowing that you were in it, the same earth, with the same beating heart. he wonders how he'd live without you again, how he'd avoid feeling the grief if you ever did leave.

he'd have to hold you then. he'd have to grasp on to you in the same gentle way that he always had, and not give you any reasons to leave. but that was the thing, right, because if you wanted to leave you'd have done it already, and you hadn't, so thst had to mean something, right?

he's always been afraid of loving too much. he'd always been afraid of the fact that he had too much to give, so he always ended not giving any of it because he was too cautious, too self aware to. but you made him comfortable in the way he had never felt before, you made him want to love you too much. he was still deathly afraid of it, but you made it bearable to look at it in the face without flinching.

the rustle beside him made him blink back into reality, turning his head towards your no longer sleeping figure, a small smile etching itself onto his stubborn lips.

what had you done to him?

the wires in his brain were wound too tight as you talked about everything and anything, him replying and adding onto your obscure sentences like they were always supposed to. the gears in his heart continued turning and turning and turning to the sound of your laugh when he, again, had made a joke as a desperate hope to make you commit to fleeting happiness.

it wasn't so fleeting for him, however, because it was you.

night rolled around just as you finished a late lunch/early breakfast for dinner situation - pancakes and french toast and hashbrowns sprinkled with seasonings - and jean rubbed his belly as he came face to face with the confrontation of him leaving in an hour.

but you were simply blinking, sitting infront of him, going through you phone to find a picture that you thought was relevant to the conversation, a smile on your face. and even if it was so mundane, so normal, it felt like a good dream. like he was going to wake up any time soon and come to the revelation that it had all been fake and conjured up because it had to, because there was no way this was real. when you finally found what you were looking for, flipping the phone around so he could see, he found a hard time looking away from your eyes and giddy smile.

did you know? you had to, right? he laughed covering his mouth with his hand as you flipped your phone back infront of you. you had to know. there was no way you didn't. there was no way you had turned him into himself without knowing that you were the cause of it. it was so obvious-

"I'll miss you." you say. it's a quiet admission, sounding like you've wanted to get it over with for a while now. hes sure you have. he looks at you and his heart - the damned machine - does what it always does; it clangs and makes noise.

maybe you hear it. maybe you're meant to.

"i know we'll see eachother again in a while but...I don't know. I've always wanted to spend new years with my friends and not alone. I'm glad we met. I'm glad we exist together." you say. it's not rushed or hidden or desperate. you're baring yourself open to him and it doesn't feel uncomfortable like it does when youre changing clothes infront of someone and you're bare and open and all your scars and hairs and marks are on display for them to see. it feels like this is how it's meant to be.

he blinks.

hes sure if there was music accompanying the moment, it would be swelling and high-pitched and perfect - the type that makes you feel and ache in just the right ways. but there wasn't, and the silence played a greater cacophony than any instrument, because your sentences didn't need embellishments to be pronounced. your statements didn't need proof of being alive - they were alive and bare open and vulnerable and so was he now, because of you.

his heart ached comfortably.

stupid, beating heart.

he realised he hadn't said anything when you got up from the table. he was still staring at the spot where you were a minute ago as you took both your dishes back to the sink. he blinks again. inhales, exhales. gets up to join you, takes your hands that were reaching for the soap in his own warm ones - god they're so warm - and says, "I'll miss you too."

he was glad there's no music. he's glad that his voice, even if it was soft and gentle, wasn't muddled with melody. inhale, you were smiling, exhale. blink. his involutary actions got more attention because you made him aware of his machine. how his machine didn't feel like a machine anymore. how his machine - metal and steel and nuts and bolts - felt soft. plyable. putty in your hands. you're squeezing his hands again; the comfortable ache returning and the two of you start doing the dishes that had been ignored for a while.

warm, orange lights glowed from above you, the sounds of dishes clanking and the sink running was the only things to be heard, and the domesticity became divinity. the kitchen became holy, and his hands - metal and steel and nuts and bolts - became the remark of a sculptor creating something beautiful. the moment didn't feel crafted but it felt like he had caused it, and if he was capable of creating something as great as this then he was sure he was walking side by side with God.

beating heart. inhale, exhale, his hands dry the plate you just handed him, he's hearing you hum softly to a song he knows far too well. inhale, exhale.

an hour had passed sooner than he liked it to, and he drove all the way to the airport next to you. you kept talking like you had to get it all out there before he left. it was only a month and a half, and he knew you knew you were being dramatic, but he loved it anyway. you opt the radio instead of the aux for the first time, surprised when your favourite song comes on.

he turns the volume up. you sing to match it's pitch. he wishes he can show you his childhood bedroom. you'd love it, he says. "i have speakers. i used that fact as like a bribe to make new fridnds. i told people, 'hey I have speakers in my room' and they'd want to hang out with me." what he didn't say, however, was that he only wanted them to see the speakers in his bedroom. now, he wanted you to see him in his bedroom, he wanted you to linger near the doorway. best part was, he knew you would someday.

it wasn't that long of a drive. it felt long though, somehow, because time stretched and restricted when he was with you, and he stopped the car at the airport gate with a heart pounding off from his chest. he wonders if yours was too, but one look at you confirms that yes, it was. you two were in the same boat, the same machine that had been sanded down and weathered until it was soft and rounded.

inhale, "well, this is...it" exhale.

you nod slowly, "this is it." you breathe out laugh. "why are we acting like we're never gonna see eachother again?" you say but you already know the answer. jean does too.

he laughs the same way you do, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he looks ahead, one hand on the steering wheel, refusing to move anywhere without you. "maybe it's the amount of movies we've seen." he says. a lie.

"and who's fault is that?" you ask, teasing and laughing.

"all mine." he admits. it was his. he doesn't feel any remorse for it.

you nod again. you're looking at him. the lights reflect in the water of your eyes.

"call me when you reach?" you ask.

he nods. "promise."

silence. inhale, exhale.

"i think I'm in love with you." you're the one that says it. if he could, he would hear the fast pace of your heart that beat dutifully with his own and he swears there's something in the cool winter air that been locked out of the car because there's no way he's hearing it right. there's no way he heard those words said with deliberate commitment and a hell of a lot of hope - something jean was learning to have from you - because no-one but you had the courage to regard him like this.

but it was you. of course it was you.

his hand holds your cheek before he can even think about it. he blinks. inhale, "I think I'm in love with you too," exhale. matching sentiments has always been easy, but it feels more breathable and bearable now. with you.

bearable, beating hearts.

you smile. you smile so hard your cheeks hurt, you smile so hard that your face feels like your face and not just a symbol of you, your face doesn't feel like a machine and it feels like muscle and skin and fat and blood like it's supposed to and you realize, a little too late, that jean makes you feel a little more human than you are in the way where it feels holy, almost, because being human has always been about being divine. jean makes you see it clearer than you have been seeing it.

another breath passes.

"is this the part where..." he swallows, trailing off. "where we kiss?"

you laugh. "you really think this is a hallmark movie, don't you?"

he laughs too. "no, if this was a hallmark movie then you'd be chasing me at the airport. you'd say-"

"oh my god," you're laughing and your stomach hurts comfortably.

"you'd say 'jean I've been in love with you since I laid my eyes on you'-"

"you wish," your voice is breathy.

"'i can't take my mind off of you, jean, and you deserve the best. also you're very handsome.' you'd say that."

you hold the hand that is resting on your cheek. "oh, jean, I've been in love with you ever since i saw you.-"

"ever since I laid my eyes on you. that sounds poetic."

"you're insufferable."

"and you're in love with me." he says. he's confident and he's never felt better about it than now.

you shake your head with an affectionate smile. "unfortunately yes."

there's a pause. the two of you are smiling. you lean forward to press a kiss on the top of his nose, turning it pink and human. "you'll get a kiss after getting back." you say. it's a promise.

"I'll look forward to it."

stupid, bearable, comfortable, beating organ.

his heart felt alive. his lungs felt like they were no longer chambers filled with air but something that could experience the space of being around you.

god, he was so lovesick. but he was with you, so it didn't matter.

he had you. he always would.

#jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirschstein x reader #jean kirstein x you #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #jean kirschtein #marco bodt #sasha braus #connie springer #smau

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jabberwocky-warrior · 9 months

Text

Random dating headcanons for every NRC Student

Featuring all NRC students [[Platonic Ortho]]

All headcanons are based on you dating the characters. Only pronoun used is "you". Can be read as Prefect/OC/Selfinsert I think

Tags: Fluff, random dating HCs, Platonic Ortho,

TW // Food mentioned in multiple, these are dating headcanons,

A/N I strongly believe in Leona's. I didn't word it perfectly but i love these.

734 words | Not proofread at all |

Leona waits for you to start eating first. Eating first is a big deal in a lot of animal behaviors and in royal etiquette, the monarch eats first but for you, he’ll always make an exception.

Kalim plans for your trip to his home ahead of time. IT’s not even like in an itinerary way but a safety. All guard/servants are informed before your arrival. He makes sure their is a list of who will be cooking food for you. He even asks jamil for insider knowledge on which servants to watch out for.

Malleus really really really wants to see you in traditional Briar valley garments. Like REally Really Really badly wants to see you in them. Especially ones that match with his own.

Lilia wants to take you to a classic Fae revelry. To dance all night with you. Dont worry about the dangers of having your name taken. A simple fix really. Let him take your last name and replace it with his.

Azul took one of his old quills that were worn out and turned it into a necklace for you. He’s also turned his other old quills into other trinkets like bookmarks, pins, etc.

[[Platonic]] Ortho loves playing 20 questions with you about random human things.

Deuce sends his mom selfies of you two on dates all the time. She loves seeing him so happy with you. His mom will send a selfie back with the snapchat dog filter. One time it started a Selfie war.

Sebek loves when you lay your head on his lap and vice-versa. His favorite thing is you laying on his chest while he reads a book. If you ask, he’ll read it out loud to you.

Vil sews your initials into his dorm uniform. He’ll add his initials into your clothes if you’ll let him.

Epel loves walking hand in hand with you through the woods on campus. It reminds him of home and having you here makes it even better.

Cater created a private magicam account just to post candid photos of you two together. Its private so No one can see them but him. He regularly checks it when hes feeling down.

Ace loves when you have cuddle dates. He doesn’t even care if you fall asleep early. He just loves the company. Sleep comes to him quickly with you by his side.

Silver asked his dad to secretly follow yall on your first date and wake him up every time he fell asleep. You date was a picnic surrounded by trees just to make sure Lilia had ample space to hide from your sight.

Riddle he convinced you to have a big study date for a big exam coming up. When you arrived at heartslabyul though, he lead you to the garden where he had a romantic dinner set up.

Rook carves your name into his bow. It’s in obnoxious cursive and he adds poetry in french next to it.

Jack brings you to his family BBQs. He loves watching you play with his siblings and seeing how perfecting you fit in with his family.

Ruggie reverse pickpockets you. He leaves you favorite candy/snacks in your bag. If you text him complaining that your hungry but cant get a snack, he just tells you where to check in your bag.

Jade will try any food concoction you make as long as you’ll try his. If you hate mushrooms he will willingly leave them out of the dish.

Jamil loves when you come to watch his basketball. It’s one of the only times he can go all out. He cant help but smile seeing you in the crowd cheering for him.

Trey will scheme his way into being partnered with you as often as he can. He’s not above calling in a favor but normally promising sweets is enough.

Floyd got you a giant eel plushy. It the size of a pregnancy pillow and is the shape. When he comes over to your room he will hug it until you get into bed with him.

Idia will pull for characters that remind him of you. Whether its just their hair or their personality, it doesn’t matter. You know when someone builds a character that isnt meta and isnt that great and they turn them into a DPS GOD. Yeah he does that with those characters.

I love them all your honor.

I hope you enjoy this post. Feel free to send in asks/requests.

If you notice any mistakes please let me know!!

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natsuphoria · 11 months

Note

Hihi! I loved ur first fic w/ natsume and jun! If u don't mind could u write abt Eichi, Keito and Nazuna having a crush on reader but the reader is super oblivious </3 and thinks they're just supperr close and calls them "nii-chan"

thank you anon! i didnt know much about these characters so this was a fun challenge <3 (everyone say thank you cherry, reze and qian for helping liddle ol’ me with characterisation!) also oblivious reader is so silly /pos

eichi, keito & nazuna crushing on an oblivious reader

they/them pronouns used for reader in keito's part; no pronouns in other parts

eichi would be confused at first, but it eventually makes way for amusement!

he’s a busy man, but he makes sure to make time for you. you’re incredibly important to him… even if you’re not aware of just how much.

at first he thinks he’s doing something wrong – much of his knowledge on courting and romance comes from movies and books, so he’s unsure as to whether such things are okay in real life.

he invites you to tea… or to a fancy dinner… he buys you whatever you even glance at… and all he’s met with is a sweet smile and a bright “thank you, nii-chan!”

ah… he’s not very sure on how to proceed. cue the signature eichi faint smile ^_^

he’s not very creative in this department, so i’d expect him to start consuming more romance media to gain inspiration… he's hitting the books yall look at him go!!

due to this, a lot of his courting methods are traditional and cliche, but it’s incredibly endearing that he tries so hard! or it would be, if you were aware that he was courting you in the first place…

i’d think eichi is quite the clingy person – he hasn’t had many friends or acquaintances, so to find someone he likes so much? someone who (probably. arguably. possibly.) likes him back just as much? he’s going to be so protective of you.

it’s very obvious how much he favours you! at least to everyone else -.- he’d have a special seat in his office just for you… your favourite tea blends (or other drinks, if you don’t like tea!) just within reach…

it’s visible in the way his voice softens almost imperceptibly when he’s speaking to you, or the way a smile slips onto his face when your name pops up in conversation.

though he thinks your oblivion is amusing – aren’t you just the cutest, most innocent thing? – he’s well aware of his clock ticking down. he won’t admit it, but he’s quite afraid that he won’t be able to spend as much time with you as he wants to. he’ll have to speed things up… maybe he’d just have to ask you directly? you’re sure to say yes, right?

keito & nazuna below the cut!

ah, keito. he’d be losing his mind actually.

this man is absolutely an overthinker. his huge wrinkly brain is working overtime for sure.

it’s silly because both of you would be oblivious at first! meaning, keito wouldn’t notice his little crush until someone else points it out to him.

even then, he’d be firmly in denial… such feelings are utterly foreign to him. plus, he has no idea what to do with them!?

confess, keito. shoot your shot, that’s what. ← real words from his lecture club

he’s not likely to confess to you unless he knows for sure that you like him back. he likes having a solid plan to follow, and feels much more at ease when he can anticipate every outcome.

but you’re not gonna make it that easy for him, are you?

he really does try his best… but he has unconventional ways of showing his affection

he nags at you quite a bit! i hope you like his lectures 0(-( he just wants you to be at your best i promise.

romantic words aren’t really his forte. this man is incredibly awkward when it comes to you, so any attempts to rizz you up end in him getting embarrassed and fleeing the scene.

100% he comes up to fix your collar or your tie and he’s so flustered from the proximity but you’re just like :DD nii-chan!!! and there’s a pang in his chest.

"i smiled at them more than normal why dont they get it" "keito you looked constipated" /hj

he’d probably write manga about you… or create a character that’s clearly inspired by you… please, please take the hint ;-;

he’d be crazy frustrated!! he’s not getting through to you at all and it’s driving him insane. this is solidly outside his comfort zone too, he’s not exactly having a fun time. he thinks he’s doing something wrong, or that this is your way of telling him you’re not interested… poor keito :(

someone close to him would have to coax him into telling you directly!! even then, it would take him a fair amount of time to psych himself up enough to act.

when it happens, though, he'd be a blushing, stuttering mess -- such a far cry from his usual calm demeanour.

nazuna is a sweetheart tbh...

he's already an affectionate and caring person, but it's turned up tenfold with you! it's pretty obvious when he has taken a liking to someone.

nazuna strikes me as someone who has to have a solid friendship before they can develop a crush, so the two of you probably already have a good relationship!

he dotes on you a ton, and checks up on you the same way he does his unitmates! he just wants you all to do your best, and he's unconditionally proud of you regardless of the outcome. he makes sure you know it too.

sure, he likes being called nii-chan by his juniors, but theres a certain pang in his chest when it's coming from you, especially when you sound so sincere about it.

ah... maybe he's taken on a brotherly role from your perspective... how would he go about expressing his interest in you instead? he's extremely respectful about it. nazuna drinks his respect people juice daily ^_^)b

he doesn't really know a way other than showering you with even more affection. loving you comes so easily to him! how could it not? you're so incredibly precious, he just wants to see you happy :)

poor guy gets overwhelmed easily, though... the combination of your sweet smile and your oblivious reactions to his advances makes his head swim!! if he's not careful? if he gets worked up enough and acts rashly? he might just go in for the kiss straightaway...

tags: @tokusaatsus, @kalimism

#✧ jes writes #eichi tenshouin x reader #keito hasumi x reader #nazuna nito x reader #eichi x reader #keito x reader #nazuna x reader #enstars x reader #eichi tenshouin #keito hasumi #nazuna nito #enstars

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imakemywings · 8 months

Note

SO SO SORRY BEING NEGATIVE IN YOUR ASKbox but It's the fact that Elrond continued the tradition of honoring Thingol by naming his twin sons Elladan and Elrohir, as well as the canonical references of ways Elrond and Elros honored their parents (by wearing their colors, the symbols, and the names!), that makes me so so so salty about the way people never write Elrond being proud of his sindar lineage. It's always noldor this, feanorian star that, that has me reeling so much, its so popular that has me rolling my eyes and thats coming from a die-hard feanorian fan, like it gets exhausting when it keeps getting pushed that Elrond bashes his mom and dad and wears the symbol of his peoples murderers, as well as hate his moms lineage, like the book says he dont, what the hell?

gjkndsgkbjnb Anon you can only imagine the amount of salt I keep off this blog by being privately salty in DMs XD

But yeah I agree...at this point I'm veeeery hesitant to read any Elrond fic by Silm fans that hasn't been vetted and approved by someone I know because I'm so weary of coming across Feanorian Elrond and Elrond-who-literally-calls-Elwing-a-bitch and Elrond who gets angry with people who justifiably do not love the Feanorians, etc.

At the very least, these sorts of takes never seem to address the devastating cultural loss that Elrond and Elros experience. Even if we want to assume the best about Maglor's ability to raise them, he simply lacks the knowledge to make up for that. What does he know of Iathrim traditions? He never even saw Doriath, except when he showed up to kill everyone. What does he know of Edanic customs, or anything of mortal life? What does he know of Gondolin, where the distinction between Sindar and Noldor all but disappeared? Elrond and Elros are isolated from anyone who might be able to help them understand their parents' cultures and their own heritage (Gil-galad, Oropher, Cirdan, etc.) and so they grow up without that knowledge, and that's just always so sad to me. I'm sure it has an impact on Elrond's later interest in collecting knowledge.

All of this is compounded, of course, by the fact that Maglor and Maedhros are quite literally responsible for the virtual extinction of the Iathrim and the total destruction of the unique culture at the Havens of Sirion.

yadda yadda opinions under the cut

These takes also rarely reckon with how disturbing Feanorian Elrond is from an assimilation perspective. Here we have a couple of young children, from a culture whose people have already been attacked, slaughtered, and driven from their homelands by the Feanorians, who experience a second such attack from those same people, who lose their parents, who are taken from any other adult in their lives who might have nurtured them, by two people who know nothing about their culture(s)...and it's supposed to be cute, the idea that Elrond prefers to speak Quenya? It's supposed to show how he ~loved~ Maglor, that he was raised so alienated from his own cultures that he prefers that of his kidnappers, of his family and people's murderers (the very people who so alienated him)? It's actually really, really sad.

And obviously these takes rarely genuinely address the trauma that Maedhros and Maglor caused Elrond and Elros, or the ongoing trauma of being raised by the people with the blood of your mother and your neighbors and your friends all over their hands. Sure, I can buy Elrond pitying them and even forgiving them eventually--but Feanorian Elrond who thinks they did nothing wrong feels like a joke.

I think of course that a large part of this is just because fans love the Feanorians and the Noldor and many of them are not interested in the Sindar (and Thingol is deeply unpopular, primarily for not getting along with the Feanorians), so they are not interested in exploring Elrond's canonical attachment to his Sindar heritage and the line of Thingol. Which is too bad! I love the Sindar and I think it's great that Elrond's biggest attachment to his heritage is to the Umanyar part, not the Amanyar part, and Elros' to the mortal part, not the immortal part. They both chose what some might (wrongly) call the "lesser" part of their heritage, and I love them for that.

In many cases I think Elrond is used as a morality pet for Maedhros and Maglor, in that if Elrond, beloved the world around, adores and champions and defends the Feanorians, then no one can defensibly dislike them. Which circles back into something about discourse surrounding liking ~problematic~ characters...you CAN actually admit the Feanorians committed multiple mass slaughters and stole two children (and killed a minimum of two others) and still like them. I do.

But also, as someone else on tumblr more eloquently pointed out, even if Elrond did feel something like this...he's tactful enough to be aware how much pain and suffering the Feanorians caused the Elves of Middle-earth, and he would never shove the Feanorians in their faces or think it was funny to watch them flinch hearing a Feanorian accent (a h/c I've actually seen) (apart from the fact that I really doubt the Feanorians continued using the thorn past the first few decades in Middle-earth).

To me, Feanorian Elrond just comes across as a clumsy attempt to redeem Maglor and Maedhros and I'm not interested in that, at the end of the day. I'm far more interested in Elrond's complicated relationship with them and his willingness or desire to hold them to account for the reality of what they did to him and his family, while also reckoning with his childhood attachment to the only adults he was permitted to grow attached to.

#asks #anonymous #anon if you ever exhaust my ability to be salty I will be amazed #mine

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askew-d · 2 months

Note

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "askew-d "?

hello, there! sorry for the long wait, i forgot to check my notifs :( i will do better next time. thank you for this question! i feel like i’ve waited ages for someone to ask me exactly that, lol. i could talk about well-written fanfics forever!! can i give you a hug? because this is wonderful, really.

let’s go for it! my range of fanfiction that i enjoy vary, but one thing remains: i will adore your fic, no matter the fandom, if it’s written with passion and if it contains good, poetic introspection. i love poetry. for me, if there’s melancholic tropes of any kind i’m into it. immortal character and reincarnation? give me now. supernatural elements or slice of life with doomed narrative? i’ll ignore sleep to read it. angst with happy ending? my endgame, for sure.

however, i also adore silly, comedic, cute pieces of domestic life or otherwise. i had a hard time choosing from my bookmarks for this, and i also reviewed some of my favorites, it was fun. before we continue, here are some of the tags that i don’t dive into for whatever reason: porn without plot (it personally just doesn’t interest me at all), non-con, gore, a/b/o dynamics, soulmates au. sorry if you were hoping for it! i’ll try classify them into an order of what i like most.

1. jellyfish, by mystery twin, for the haikyuu!! fandom — i read this when i was finishing high school and coincidentally the story talks about finishing high school! i have a personal attachment that makes me reread it every year. it’s some sort of tradition at this point. not to mention i love kagehina dearly.

2. teen project to change the world, by animeloverhomura, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — respectfully speaking, i would find this author and give them a big hug. their writing is spetacular! if you've never seen this one and you're into mdzs, know it's a story where the characters get to see every event from the novel and donghua, even the dead characters. they watch wei wuxian journey, can you believe it? so goddamn entertaining. promptly waiting for the next update!

3. a hundred or so hellos, by iwillstillopenthewindow, for the haikyuu!! fandom — remember i said i love melancholic stories? well, this one broke me so hard, i had to mention how i hold it with tenderness (we love things that breaks us, dont we?). this fandom manages to write the cutest, most unhinged things sometimes. even it's an anime about sports. i always get amazed by it.

4. no certainty of doors between us, by betts, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — certainly the most silly little fanfic i've ever seen, it's hilariously sweet. i want everyone to read this masterpiece because, seriously, whoever did this deserves only the best. so, so, cute. it had to be in my top 10!

5. their kindred encounters, by fireflavoredwhiskey, for the untamed rpf fandom (bjyx) — you know those kinds of shows, books, any piece of media, that tears up apart? well, this one was it for me. it's a very famous one that deserves all praise, certainly well-written and enjoyable to the core, with doses of angst, romance and beauty overall.

6. as the clouds part and clear, we finally meet again, by 12262325, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — aaaaa, i was truly torn between putting this in the third or fourth place, but i ended up putting it here. come on, i love an age difference kind of story, especially for wangxian, and this one was perfectly done. sweet and funny. the development? the yearning?? outstanding!! i read this many times already, i'll never get tired.

7. pursuit, by emleewrites, for the haikyuu!! fandom — mystery, romance, lawsuits, poker games, adventure, slice of life, AMAZING depictions and so, so goddamn well-written? that's what you're looking for in any fanfiction. the author dedicated herself entirely for this story, and, like i said, i love stories that are written with passion, you can see it pouring through every paragraph. besides, highly entertaining. i'm not very into long fics, but once i started it off, i couldn't stop. that's how addicting it is.

8. linger by the door (i’ve always been yours), by piecrust, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — epistolary?? have i mentioned how i love it?? some of the phrases in this are gold, in my bookmarks you can check some of them (i ought to make a list of my favorite fic quotes, btw, i will sure do it). through each letter i could comprehend more of wei wuxian's feelings and his internal conflict. i love feeling this connected to a character.

9. all the world is ours to take, by khrys, for the fugou keiji fandom — i have more than one favorite fanfiction for this couple. you know these kinds of developing relationship where the transition from (maybe enemies too) friends to lovers happens so smoothly that it feels like they've been soulmates first and foremost at the end? i don't even know how to explain. i just love how, when they finally are together, it's like they've been together for years. and they just... made it official? i like it. i love my mr. kambe haru.

10. he won’t tell you that he loves you, by hellshandbasket, for the house m.d fandom — i found this to be the most fitting, perfect story for this specific couple. they deserved more stories like this, but we dont see it anymore. i would hightlight the feelings realization in this one, that is so fucking real? haha in any case, it's a fanfic that i enjoyed a great deal.

that's it, i guess! i wanted to add link click fanfics also, however i barely started reading fanfictions from its fandom, i'm drowning in it lately but it's just a start. perhaps very sooon!

oh, i’m gonna finish explaining about the name! in my native language, i’ve heard someone tell me before that ‘life’s a little askew, nothing’s ever perfect’, and that quote remained in every biography of any english website i ever went to. then in literature class someday i had to write about historical women and came across this one named anne askew (i wanted to write about the mostly barely-spoken women). it was the second time i saw this word. i didn’t think of it as a proper name before, but then i had to create a nickname for my ao3 profile and thought, humn, why not just ‘askew’? the quote has been engraved in my heart anyway, so i went for it. we’re all flawed and askew. so, yeah, it just… fit? the ‘d’ here on tumblr it’s only because my surname has a ‘de morais’ in it. i also liked that it resembled ‘alaska’, the john green character i was kinda of obsessed with back in my teenager grunge phase. i don’t like these kinds of books anymore, but i guess some details stay with you. do you think it’s weird? never thought of changing.

thanks for this outstanding ask, it certainly entertained me. and hope you have a nice sleep today, big hugs coming your way! 🤍

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kaevch · 27 days

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૮₍˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶₎ა !!

-ˏˋ RYU—!! ⭒ he/they, 14, asian.

moots | mlist | carrd.

i support palestine 🇵🇸. zionists will be blocked.

hey hey hey!! u can call me ryu or mei >:9 my pronouns r he/they but im okay w anything else EXCEPT she/her !

this is an sfw blog!

FAVS : LEONA KINGSCHOLAR, VIL SCHOENHEIT, MALLEUS DRACONIA, DIVUS CREWEL, Trein, FUKUZAWA YUKICHI, CHUUYA NAKAHARA, BRAM, NANAMI KENTO, GETO SUGURU, MEGUMI FUSHIGURO, KAEYA ALBERICH, Ayato Kamisato, Adventurine, BOOTHILL, LUCIFER (om), BARBATOS (om)..etc!

FANDOMS : TWST, GENSHIN, hsr, JJK, black butler, sk8, BSD, Lookism, Omniscient Reader, Obey me (not actively but happy to talk about :)).

KINS : IDIA, KOKOMI/GANYU, POE.

YOU GOT BLOCKED ?!

i generally dont block anyone bcs i typically dont have a reason to, and i just leave ppl alone even if they're sort of disturbing/uncomfortable to me so if you got blocked you probably did something that REALLY hurt me/made me way too uncomfortable. ill be blocking problematic people/artists.

WHAT DO I USE TO DRAW ?

the app i use is ibispaint x ! the brushes i use are the default ones alr there like dip pen (hard), felt tip pen (soft/hard) and marker!

for traditional, i literally js use a cheap ass blank notebook and a 0.7 tip mechanical pencil. lineart is done using brustro pens or a cheap black pen if im lazy :P

i might take breaks randomly, highschool is CRAZY rn and i have to actually start focusing on my studies cuz i cant be a silly lil kid that draws silly guys anymore 😢

my blog will contain spoilers, not much as i myself am still in book 6 but ill make sure to tag it all properly :).

urmmmm pls dont trace my art >< its happened before and i hated the feeling lolz, u can use my art as a pfp with permission and credits though! (the art i send to my moots are all theirs to use tho idrc)

asks are always open! and im open for moots/anons too :3

i dont take writing requests bcs 1) im scared of messing up and not reaching the persons expectations and 2) i get stressed over it bcs i have to post it in a certain time or i feel like im dragging it out and it sucks bcs i have to rush if i dont have any motivation/idea and itll probably turn out really bad.

drawing requests are open tho! :3 it might take a while if im not feeling like it ><

all and all, please be nice on my blog and respect people's boundaries!

#pinned.#prns page is the underlined he/they!#please click on the carrd and check out the dni+notes before interacting with my posts/me.

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fandxmslxt69 · 11 months

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Holidays With Them <3

Steven Grant x f!muslim!reader, Jake Lockley x f!muslim!reader, Marc Spector x f!muslim!reader

Warnings: Absolutely tooth rooting fluff, ohmy god it is so so sweet you'll get a cavity. Lots of religion talk, food talk too. This is written with an Arab hijabi reader in mind so yes, it is a female reader!

A/N: AHHHH YOU DONT GET THE GIGGLES I GOT WHILE WRITING THIS!!! There is such a big lack of muslim!reader fics out there so it's my new mission to PUT THEM out there for the sake of me, and all of you pretty baes who asked for a tag or reached out about how touching the little blurb was, THANK YOU.

Synopsis: Disgustingly sweet Ramadan and Eid activities with your favourite boys

Word count: 2215 (sigh. I told you guys.)

Steven Grant:

Steven’s a very curious soul, and he’s the kind of person who adores learning about new places, people and cultures. So you can imagine when you first started dating, he was already knee deep in studies of Arabian cultures and traditions (he’s a nerd but he’s cute).

He’s regularly a very comforting person but you swear you’ve never met anyone who you feel so free and open to talk about your heritage and religion with. Naturally, when Ramadan and Eid came around, Steven was actually beyond excited. While he may have done a lot (and I mean a lot.) of research, he also loved listening to you talk for hours about traditions and Islamic history, so he absolutely made sure to sit down and ask at least a million questions, half of which you know he knew the answer to, he just wanted to hear it from you.

By the time the first week had passed, he’d taken time off from work and decided he was just going to stay home with you for the rest of it even after you protested multiple times.

He loves spending the mornings with you! On the early mornings when you decide to stay up after Fajr (which is often) he takes over from Marc to stay up with you. You’re sitting on the couch reading through your daily pages of the Qur’an, while he’s sitting at his cluttered desk, bent over a new book with highlighters and pens scribbling in the book margins.

It’s peaceful and calming and you can’t help the way your heart squeezes every time you look up and glance at him. You felt incredibly blessed to be able to spend such an important holiday with such kind-hearted souls. It made it feel like the world was smiling down on you. When you got tired and started feeling your eyes drooping shut, you heard Steven shuffle over, gently tucking your copy of the Qur’an out of your hands and onto the table, carefully scooping you up and carrying you to bed. It became a routine. You’d wake up for Suhoor and have a quick meal- and like clockwork as soon as you finish Fajr prayer, Steven comes shuffling out of the room, tugging on a fluffy sweater with a little yawn. He grabbed a cup of water, gave you a quick kiss on the cheek, before settling at his desk. There was barely any talking, it was just a comfortable silence. He’d interrupt with the occasional question, or maybe a little fun fact- “Did you know ancient Egyptians didn’t use the wheel until the Old Kingdom?” You hummed, looking up from your reading. “Really? Makes sense. Stones were too heavy for wood anyway,”

He’d nod, smile, then turn back to reading. Other than that, there were no interruptions. He liked it, especially when you felt good enough to do your Quran reading out loud. It made him happy, listening to you read in your mother tongue- and while he was never a religious person, it filled him with a weird feeling. He didn’t understand a word of it, but it reminded him of poetry- not something he could entirely understand or relate to, but still beautiful. Especially beautiful when you have enough courage to explain what you understand from different parts. It was a form of intimacy to share such sacred and important things with one another- it was a level of trust you both valued beyond anything else.

He decided this was his favourite time of the day then, and he thrived in the gentle atmosphere of the month- how could he not like spending lazy mornings with you for so long? If he could, he’d never work again, he’d simply stay home and spend forever with you. While that isn’t possible in this reality, he’s more than happy to have this month as a forever.

Marc Spector:

Marc was very different from Steven. He was not the kind to research every small aspect, or to encourage you to give him a long lecture about your culture. He was more of a silent lover who showed his lover through small, quiet gestures. He wakes you up every night for Suhoor, leaving a small meal for you in the fridge because he knows Steven would forget. You realised after the first few days, your prayer mat and abaya had gone missing and you had asked him about it, he said he had moved them somewhere quieter. When you had found them, you felt your heart ache so deeply you thought you were dying. He had moved it all to a small corner of the living room, clutter moved out and thoroughly cleaned, with little lanterns and a small plant there. The prayer mat was laid out, along with your Quran and it smells faintly of musk. You thought you might die right then and there as you processed the fact that he had put together a small prayer corner for you. When you’d try to ask him about it, he’d simply shrug, muttering about how “it’s not that big of a deal honey, just glad you liked it.” He doesn’t get that it is a big deal.

It took a little longer for you to realise that Marc had stopped going out for his…nightly activities. At first, you thought that maybe there just weren’t any new missions, but after a while you knew that something was up because now, he’s staying at home every night. Right after you had Iftar and cleaned up with Jake, Marc would take over, arguing to set up a movie and spend the night cuddling on the couch. When you brought it up, he acted like it was a normal thing. “You said this was a month to get rid of bad things like sex right? Well, sex has been removed from the equation, but violence is still a bad thing,” He shrugged. “Didn’t wanna ruin your time with all the blood on my hands,” You turned to face him properly, frowning. “You’re not ruining anything! Habibi, it’s your duty, isn’t it? Wouldn’t Khonshu get mad?” Marc hummed, tightening his arm around your waist. “Don’t care about him.” “Marc-” “Shhhh, enjoy the movie, baby. I’ve got it figured out, yeah? Besides, I like spending my nights with you, makes me happy that you want to spend this special time with me,” “Well obviously I do,” You leaned into him. “This means you’ll walk with me to Friday prayers now?” He chuckled. “Of course,”

You notice after that talk that he starts opening up a lot more. You noticed he’d ask about kosher food when you went out for Iftar on those off days. And you felt beyond proud and overjoyed when you saw him pulling out his kippah one day. He didn’t wear it, but you knew it was just the next step. Him considering it flooded you with joy- that maybe he’s healing a little every day and that it’s getting better slowly.

Marc was also very good at another important thing: Period comfort. Your period came as it always did, full speed ahead and a pain in the ass, but Marc is always always there at the ready, this time even more. He makes sure you’re super hydrated, there’s always a water bottle beside you at all times- he makes sure you take the painkillers the first day since it’s always the worst, and he gives the best massages. He’s even gone the extra mile to pull up hours long Quran videos on youtube so you can listen to them as you try to fall asleep.

He was a quiet, gentle lover who swept through like a soft breeze that caressed your cheek and left rain kisses on your face.

Jake Lockley:

Jake was a romantic, as much as he hated to admit it (and he really hated it). While he’s definitely not as planted in education as Steven is, he’s still incredibly touched when you ask him to help you make Iftar for the first time. In all honesty, he’s never really learnt much about religions and cultures, so it’s definitely new to him but he feels like he won a lottery every time you share a glimpse of your childhood with him, or your favourite traditions or religious stories. With everything he’s been through in life, he’s never really had much time to learn about other people but he’s definitely very happy to learn now, especially from you. One of his new, all time favourite pastimes is making meals in the kitchen with you. While you’re just two people for the evening, he constantly insists on making many different dishes each night. He’s always the one to go out grocery shopping, whether after a taxi shift or just randomly on an afternoon, he just whips out a list and goes on a whim. He adores spending afternoons with you trying out all sorts of different foods. While he’s not a master chef, he definitely has good talent, but it’s honestly not even the food that makes it fun, it’s just the domestic task being done with you. He can’t help but feel all sappy and emotional over it. It’s just really hard for him to believe that he’s spent so long hurting and alone but now he’s got all this love and care all coming from you- for him. He feels so overwhelmed in moments like these when he forgets that hurt, and he just feels so understood and loved.

As the days roll around, he starts spreading out more. He’s researching a dozen new recipes every day, a million Youtube tutorials and a notebook full of scribbles for different ideas to try with you. It becomes your thing then, like movie nights with Marc and early morning studying with Steven- cooking with Jake just fit in so easily. He’s cheesy, so much that he’d start dancing with you right there- while you may not be playing music in those days, he’s still humming along to your wedding song as he spins you around a few times, before picking you up and placing you on the counter, insisting that “my princesa shouldn’t have to cook after fasting all day. I’ve got hands, I can do it,” He makes use of every single moment you can get together but he also makes sure to give you your space and time to fulfil your tasks for the month.

One of the harder things for Jake was definitely putting a pause on the mercenary stuff. He’s not the kind to say no to Khonshu, and he takes a sort of…pride in his missions. It keeps him occupied on those nights and makes him feel useful, so when Marc said he wasn’t doing the missions for the month, Jake was definitely hesitant. He understood why, of course, and got why it’s important but he wasn’t sure how to just drop the job for so long. In the end though, he doesn’t regret it one small bit.

Best part about Jake though? Eid shopping. While Steven is definitely the one with a bit more appreciation for clothing, Jake is all in for style and spoiling his favourite girl. It’s the last few days of the month, and you’re just dragging one another from one store to the next. You try on at least a million different outfits before guys settle on something cute, simple and elegant. He’s also always always determined on buying you new hijabs EVERY TIME you go out, despite you already having many at home, he insists on getting new ones so you have “extras in case anything happens” (let’s be honest, he just likes spending money on you.) He will absolutely NOT let you pay for your Eid clothes, it’s happened more than once where you’ll just be struggling against each other only for him to be the one to reach out and tap his card and pay. He gets all smug and happy about it while you just grumble but in the end he makes up for it, always, with ice cream.

He’s very damn insistent on goody bags too. While you guys don’t have kids, Jake absolutely goes insane every time he sees the little kids at mosques. He’s very sure to buy at a loooot of chocolate and candy boxes and spends those last few nights with you after Iftar on the living room floor, bags sprawled out everywhere and a bad sitcom in the background as you fill up a hefty amount of bags to hand out. The kids adore him, because he’s funny and sweet and let’s them mess around with him, and the kids have just taken to following you outside after Eid prayers because they know Jake’s going to be outside, leaning against his car and waiting for you to come.

You always come back to him of course, whether exhausted after work or thrilled after a beautiful morning at the mosque, you always come back, as he always comes back to you too.

Nothing’s keeping him away from his girl, and the wide smile on your face throughout the day as you go out to celebrate? He can’t help but feel like he’s the luckiest man alive.

Thanks for reading <3 Please reblog if you've made it this far and enjoyed! Tags for you cuties: @whatthefishh @winterbiipp @looneytooz @twwcs @ahookedheroespureheart

#moon knight #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #marc spector x f!muslim!reader #steven grant x f!muslim! reader #jake lockley x f!muslim!reader #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockley x reader #moon knight fluff #moon knight imagine

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 4 months

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tuesday again 1/23/2024

listen i got my last job through one of youse on here so weirder things have happened: i got fired bc the nonprofit wasn’t doing so hot. let me know if you have a weird data/database or market/tech research job. i promise my worksona is so so so nice and pleasant to work with. remote only, looking more in the $75k range but can be a bit flexible if it’s a cool enough job, i am in the central time zone of the USA and will not need sponsorship anywhere but DO need the cadillac of healthcare and dental plans. portfolio, publication list, and linkedin with my government name available on request!

listening

both of these are from my sister! this is another FULL ALBUM rec (good lord). The Offline’s album La couleur de la mer is a soundtrack to a movie that doesn’t exist, inspired by his long walks in the fog on the French Atlantic coast. a little spacey, a little soul, very sixties/seventies neonoir. i am quite fond of the very first track, Thème de la couleur de la mer.

she’s also sent me a bunch of tiktoks with Perfect (Exceeder) by Mason and Princess Superstar. hell of a goddamn music video for this thing. mid-aughts clubbing music at its finest. stopped me from dissolving into a puddle of emotions on the way to and from the vet today bc it’s too goddamn bouncy to be sad around

youtube

reading

im reading a trilogy i want to discuss as a whole whenever the third one comes through as a library hold, and a book by a friend. i do not typically talk about books or fics by friends here bc none of them have ever asked for critique, and i dont want to play favorites or inadvertently miss someone’s work. so here’s a story about porn on Wikimedia, which is the kind of database drama and technical arguments that fascinate me.

given the number of articles from 404 Media i shout about here and elsewhere i really should sign up for their $5/mo subscription tier when i have a steady income again

watching

somehow missed Star Wars Visions 2, their second anthology of weird little shorts. i was not super impressed by the overall storytelling this time around, but it was fun to see them reach out to more global studios and see a wider range of styles. there’s some goddamn incredible stop motion in here.

youtube

i particularly enjoyed Journey to the Dark Head, which not only has some interesting fringe Force believers and beliefs but has one of the sickest anime bullshit lightsaber fights in this season. this one is by Studio Mir, most known for the Legend of Korra.

youtube

also really liked The Spy Dancer by Studio La Cachette, partly bc it’s incredibly beautiful and i like when Star Wars leans into art nouveau, and partly bc it felt the most like a complete short story. emotional arc and everything! strong beginning middle and end! this IS a really low bar, but a lot of the shorts this season did not have a coherent little story to tell or a strong emotional arc, or fumbled their arc partway through, and were just kind of vibes and animation showcases? nothing necessarily wrong with that, also how i felt about most of the last collection. my expectations are underground for any Star Wars media.

playing

as is tradition i dithered about this section the most. this is more of a What’s Next? planning ramble.

the laptop gets shipped back to my old job today so i will no longer have a working modern computer. i have to dig the switch out and see what’s up. maybe start a whole new run in breath of the wild or whatever the last pokemon game was. i think i also have the sword boyfriend game everyone was up in arms about two years ago? and i think i am somehow part of a switch family plan that lets me have some older games?

this section may look very different in the next ??? amount of time until i get a company laptop again. or finally replace the motherboard on my personal desktop but that sat in my car for several weeks during the heat wave this summer while i did not have an apartment and i am really REALLY afraid to open that box.

oh the free epic game this week is a platformer, a genre i have historically not cared about. godspeed to those of you who do

making

soup bc aldi had alphabet pasta and that jolted me out of myself for long enough i was briefly convinced making alphabet pasta soup would fix me. so i found this recipe while in aldi. despite this not being a very good soup or a very good recipe, i feel a little triumphant bc i now know enough to brown the tomato paste before putting it in the soup. unfortunately i overcooked the pasta. there’s kind of a lot of texture happening here, and i wish i had chopped things finer, but i will probably steal my best friend’s blender tomorrow and blitz some of it down.

it’s edible. im going to eat it all. it will not be going in the rotation

#this one has another album rec and a recipe #what am i becoming #this is also a little bit. Hm. feels weird to write bc i am a little drunk and very out of it #tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #Youtube

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iouinotes · 1 month

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Burning Love | Leo Valdez

pairing: Leo Valdez x aphrodite!reader

book: The Heros of Olympians (Percy Jackson Universe) by Rick Riordan

I DONT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS

warnings: suggestive themes (kissing), little bit of angst

summary: reader fell in love with the camps busiest, funniest (prettiest) demigod, that makes her heart beat faster (and tries not to burst into flames all the time). But she likes that about him too.

authors note: soo, I read Heros of Olympus and Leo was just pure comedy. His character was so charasmatic and funny, I really liked him. Of course, I needed to write for him, ENJOYYYY

________________________________________

Of course I was doomed to fall in love with him. Letting my heart get broken in the process, because I am physically not able to dare myself to talk to him.

What else had I expected? As a daughter of Aphrodite, this was foreseen in my fate. Well, actually it should be the other way around. After all, the ongoing tradition for centuries of the Aphrodite cabin is to break a boy's heart, but in my case it is a little complicated.

I always thought love would be something pleasant, a feeling like butterflies flying around in your stomach and wearing stylish, rose-colored glasses, that makes everything he does seem perfect. Or maybe being in love would feel like watching a beautiful fire work.

The last part is sort of true- my love literally burns for him, just as sometimes his hair sparks, when red flames are dancing through the brown strands.

I remember one time very vividly, when he walked out of the forest, visibly happy, with his hands dirty and his clothes smeared with motor oil, a satisfied grin on his face. His eyes would lighten up, as soon as found someone to talk about his projects.

Leo Valdez is the embodiment of a loyal soul, combined with an incredible humor and a talent for fixing literally anything. And I silently wish sometimes, that he could mend my broken heart too.

He's not like the other guys in this camp who always need attention, act like they're the best, like they're above everyone. No, Leo may have his pride, but he knows what he can do and he knows when to ask for help. This is usually connected with a following joke or a charming grin.

When I look at him, I often wonder how he can be so unconsciously attractive.

It's just that when my eyes find him, I'm almost in another world. And there, only he exists.

It's like he can affect my heartbeat, confuse my thoughts, charge me with electricity and set my heart on fire. All with just a lame joke, a funny remark, a wink or one of his exaggerated smiles.

I don't dare talk to him, only watch his figure from a safe distance, in a crowd where my longing stares go unnoticed. In these moments, where I realise he doesn't even know me, my emotions feel so overwhelming, as if I am the one carrying the sky instead of Atlas.

I wish I had more control over myself, that my cheeks wouldn't blush every time he glanced my way. Because he does that every now and then. And I always stare at the floor in a matter of seconds, letting my hair fall in front of my face. After all, I can't like him that obvious.

Even though I was careful, my feelings were noticed by a few others, all from my cabin. Unfortunately Piper did too. In her opinion, I should just walk up to him, bat my eyelashes and start smiling. She´s convinced, that if I would just talk to him, he would like me.

But that's the problem. If he only liked me, I couldn't handle that. If I actually became friends with him and he wouldnt fall in love with me, then I could be close to him. I mean, not in the way I want it. Like holding his hand, styling his burning hair, kissing him, watching him build something. And being crazy and proud about it afterwards, showing it off with an excited look in his eyes. Wanting appreciation for his work.

I would gladly fulfill his every wish, if he asked.

But it would be terrible having to pretend not to be completely in love with him, at least if I had to let him believe that. Maybe it's actually better if I keep my distance and he never finds out about my crush. Maybe, I would start to believe it too.

All the thoughts make my head ache and I open my eyes to concentrate on something else.

The sun shines on my skin, the waves hit the beach loudly, the straps of my green bikini top hang loosely over my shoulder. I braid a few small braids into my hair, two in the front and one in the back, where my sister helped me. I still leave my hair down so that it tickles my shoulder, I find to like it more that way.

I brush the sand off my shorts and slowly stand up, stretching my muscles and feeling a light breeze on my skin. The summer months are always the most beautiful, such as the holidays are always the quietest time. The camp is emptier than usual, many campers are spending the holidays with their families. Of course with their mortal family, the gods are not very generous when it comes to holiday visits. Nevertheless, the idea of staying on Mount Olympus for two weeks is ridiculous anyway.

Still, there are a few people left behind, including me. My father died a few years ago, and our family is so scattered around the world, so I have no close contact with them. I wouldn't want to put anyone in danger anyway. It's always sad to hear how happy the others are going home, even though I'm happy for them. But for me, Camp Half Blood is my home.

For my benefit, it is the same for Leo. I don't know much about his past, but he doesn't have a parent to visit either. But he claims, that he has more time now to work on his project, something that needs to be finished until the summer solistice arrives.

The path to the camp leads through the forest, always a bit of a nuisance with all the branches and angry nymphs that sometimes insult you. Just because you accidentally stepped on a root or sang too loudly.

Anyway, I just whistle quietly to myself, after all I'm not keen on arguing today and I'm just looking around lost in my thoughts. And because I have nothing to do, I stroll along a few other paths and explore the forest, looking up to the sky and watching the birds. It's quiet and peaceful, it feels beautiful.

Several minutes must have passed because the sun is getting closer to the horizon and the air cools down. I put on the jacket that hangs around my waist, leaving it open and continue to show my skin. When I choose another path, I suddenly see a clearing infront of me.

The next thing I know, I almost have a heart attack. In front of me lays a huge ship with a dragon's head attached to the front. I feel like I almost want to run away, but then I remember something. I know this dragon. It is Leo's metallic friend Festus, who was destroyed on their first quest. I know, because I remember the devastated look on his face, when he talked about it.

Okay, I think to myself. Two options, I go back to camp and forget I was here. Or I'll go in and have a look around. Would that be an invasion of his privacy? But if I would meet him there, we could share a moment. Like in these romance books I read about.

I think for a moment, but being curious was always a bad habit of mine. My legs move in the direction of the ship, it takes me a few minutes to find the entrance, but I manage. When I'm inside I'm amazed, my eyes seem to can't see enough. There are banners with funny inscriptions, maps full of plans, forgotten tools, furniture and weapons hanging everywhere. It's such a mess that it clearly has Leo's handwriting on it.

My fingers run over the open books, I read a few sentences and try to understand the technical language. Maybe he'll like me if I could actually understand his interests. But after just two pages it's hard to remember which button is for which function or which metal is the strongest. I could try to get the same copy, but when I try to read the title, the cover is torn and illegible. And not because of my dyslexia.

I'm so absorbed in my surroundings that I don't hear the footsteps coming. And then I almost have a heart attack for the second time, only this time from someone I'm used for it to happen.

"If I had known I would have visitors today, I would have cleaned." At his voice I freeze. I remind myself to breathe. I slowly turn around, my eyes immediately finding his face, a grin graces his lips, his hair is sweaty and when I lower my gaze, I notice that he is only wearing an apron. Which means, he is shirtless underneath.

Does he want to kill me?

Before I can say anything, he speaks again. Sweet like always.

"I think I know you. You're one of Piper's siblings. She's not here if you're looking for her?" His eyes look apologetically in my direction and I feel my heart beating in my chest. I've never spoken to him. Would now be the right time to ask the gods for help?

"No I- I'm not looking for her." I see his eyebrows raise in question.

"No? Then what gives me the honor?" As he takes a few steps towards me, I almost lose myself in his eyes. Brown and warm, as if a fire of its own glowed within them.

I feel the table at my back and say the first thing that comes to mind.

"The- uh, books." Crap. What should I do now?

"The books here? What do you need them for?" It feels like the temperature is rising, but I don't know if it's me or him. I mean, he's the one who can conjure fire with his bare hands.

"I like to read and thought it would be good to learn something about...metal?" That's probably the stupidest thing I've ever said and I can feel my cheeks turn red again.

"Oh well, luckily I can help you with that. Although I don't read the books for my enjoyment, they are quite useful. Are you looking for specific bands?" He is now standing next to me, looking at me from between the books that are laying on the table.

"No...not really. I thought I might ask you? After all, you are an expert." He seems to like the compliment, because his eyes light up and he winks at me.

"To be honest, I think it's better to learn something from practice. But I can show you some of the books later. Do you want to see what I'm currently working on? I won't light anything on fire in your presence, promise."

His comment makes me laugh and I feel myself relax, I nod and try to mentally prepare myself not to show my admiration for him too much.

He goes ahead and explains some of the functions of his ship - the Argo II. Seeing how proud he is and how he glows with an aura of joy make me never want to let me take my eyes off him.

He's so charismatic and I almost laugh at every word that comes out of his mouth. I feel so comfortable around him. And I didn't think it was possible, but actually talking to him, just made me fall in love with him even more.

He shows me his collection of tools, his magic table, the functions of the different rooms and finally his belt. Which allows him to create almost any tool he wants. It is fascinating, all of it. Him.

"It was just left behind, when I found it here. Whoever left it must have been crazy and I mean crazier than me." We stand facing each other and I smile at him. He looks at me too and I'm weak for just a moment. It's only for a second, when my eyes linger on his lips.

“Did you really come here for the books?" My eyes slowly find his and I shake my head.

"Then why?" We're so close, I can see every birthmark and every stray strand of hair on his forehead.

"I just-" our faces are so close, as if something is pulling us together. I feel his breathing, the heat radiating from him, my heart is beating as fast as if it couldn't keep up.

"-think I'm in love with you, Valdez and I will probably burst in flames, if I would kiss you now. But- thats just a side effect. Can-can I kiss you?" I notice, the tips of his hair bursting into flames.

"You wouldn't even need to charmspeak me to convince me, beautiful."

When I kissed him, the irony of our world hit me, because this time I was the one who felt like I was on fire.

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #heros of olympus #leo valdez #x reader #fanfic #in love #love #funny #camp half blood #demi god

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old-poptart · 1 year

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AAAAAAA IM 🦄BACK🦄

hanako/tsukasa(and if possible boy!akane) x a Brazilian reader?? like, who has a stronger accent, and has weird habits aaaaa I'm going to die 🦄

a/n: YIPPEE YAY!!!! WE LOVE LATINOS RAHHHHHH, dont die dawg 😓

ANYWAYS ONTO THE HEAD CANONZ!!!!!

warnings: none i could think of

Hanako 🌺, Tsukasa 🥀, and Akane Aoi 👓 with a Brazilian reader (gender neutral):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hanako 🌺:

"gorgeous.. absolutely gorgeous"

he thinks it's so cool that you're brazilian!!!

he honestly sees it as a pro, having a hot ahh latino s/o is a win in his book

hanako would wanna learn how to speak portuguese (it's so that he can flirt with you more in the language)

correct his pronunciation please he's butchering it so much

your accent is so cute!! he loves hearing it, he'd make up stupid excuses to hear you talk more ☠️

"really? and how do you say 'i have the best and hottest boyfriend in the world and i would never give him up for anything'?"

loves to tease you about it though, nothing about you is safe from his teasing ahh 😹

hanako would love to try any dishes from there, especially the ones you like

"is there anything like donuts???"

if you celebrate any traditions, he would love to celebrate them with you! you're such a pleasure to be around~

all in all, he loves you and your habits, ya goober

Tsukasa 🥀:

"ooo that's interesting!! you interest me as well~"

big question asker dawg

you better have some snacks with you it's gonna be a long ride of questions ranging from your mother tongue to what do you do to celebrate events

he will do whatever in his power to get you anything remotely similar to your favorite brazilian foods or lil trinkets

"look s/o!! i got you some maria mole!!"

"tsukasa that's just a marshmallow-"

he's tryin dawg give him some credit

does not understand what you say whenever you speak your mother tongue but always smiles when you do

like hanako, he thinks your accent is very cute!! the way you pronounce your words brings a blush to his ghostly face

tsukasa himself is weird too, so he would gladly partake in any questionable activities you have planned

he would learn any dances that interest you so that he can show off his moves to you

he's moving like a twig please help him

Akane Aoi 👓:

"oh please, enlighten me!"

i have a suspicion that akane has some portuguese up his sleeve

it's a bit rusty bear with him he's trying his best, he wants to impress you 😓

he loves to learn about your culture!! no matter what you talk to him about, whether it's your favorite food or event, he's all ears

akane would love to attend any events with you in his free time

"oh ive seen this dance before!! it looks marvelous"

dawg is so in love with you

i can see that different dialects fascinate him, so when he hears your voice he can't help but smile and giggle like a lil girl

if you're ever insecure about your accent, he'll reassure you a ton!! positive affirmations being whispered between your lips as you two kiss, how romantic~

he'd be more than happy to try out some dishes!!

he'd learn to cook your favorite dish

overall, he loves you and your goofy lil antics. what a cute couple~

RAHHH THIS WAS SO KEWL, HOPE YOU ENJOY!

-ooga :D

#tbhk x reader #hanako #hanako x reader #tsukasa yugi x reader #akane aoi x reader #akane aoi

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swordsmans · 5 months

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Hello! As someone who really really wants to attempt bookbinding, could I ask how you started? I am very overwhelmed with the amount of materials and equipment bookbinders use and it is not within my budget to get most of them, which is really discouraging :,)

I would love to know some cheap(er) alternatives to certain materials and which materials, in your opinion, is the most essential and worth splurging money on! I particularly have a lot of issues with using leather because it is WAYY out of both my budget and skill level haha!

Additionally, what are some of the reasources you used to learn how to bookbind? :o

Thank you!!! (It's alright if you don't respond to this! I was just wondering :])

hi, hello!!! im sorry for the late reply!!

to start with--i definitely dont use leather for the same reason!! even imitation leather is expensive, and tbh i like the ability to play around with colors and shapes that working primarily with bookcloth and paper affords me. you can either make your own bookcloth using regular fabric, a binder like HeatNBond, and tissue as long as you have an iron--or you can purchase it from places like amazon, hollander's, or other bookbinding supply companies. leather is ~fancy~ shit.

as for essential tools, that sort of depends on what youre trying to set out to do. western "cased" bindings require more material as a baseline, but glue-free bindings like coptics and japanese stabs require much less! really, as long as you have paper, a needle, thread, and cardboard, you can make a book! here are some of the tools i use, as well as some alternatives:

bonefolder(s) - i have two, a "traditional" one and a square angled one, both real bone. this is something i would consider an essential item, because you will use it for almost everything. you can buy a cheap teflon folder at your local craft store, but really anything you can use to crease your pages and evenly tuck your folds would work. a firm piece of plastic, a thick card--hell, a 6in ruler would work!

ruler(s) - god, i have so many rulers, both imperial and metric, in so many different shapes and materials. the ones i use the most are my 12in/30cm double sided metal ruler and my 3x4in/70x100cm double sided metal square, but as long as you have something you will be set. you can find cheap wooden or plastic rulers at your local dollar store!

weights - this includes freestanding weights and a press. while i do use a press, i also have some bricks from my local hardware store that ive wrapped in craft paper (because cleanliness is essential), a mason jar filled with rocks, and a giant stack of cookbooks. i use all of these for different things, but getting a few bricks would probably be your cheapest option; mine were $0.62 each at lowe's, lol! you dont need a press. anything that will get you even, heavy pressure will work!

waxed thread - you can use any sewing thread you want and wax it yourself by running the wax along the thread! small beeswax blocks are relatively inexpensive and will last quite a while, and regular sewing thread won't break the bank. you can certainly buy pre-waxed thread, but making your own works just as well.

awl - i have two awls and a punch cradle, and genuinely none of these are "essential". straight up just stick a sewing needle in a wine cork, bestie, and youve got yourself an awl. punch cradles are also totally optional; just make a guide with some cardstock so you know where to punch your signatures and youre set.

paper - this is the big rabbit hole, of course. fancy handmade papers can get REAL expensive and dont even get me started on procuring paper with the proper grain direction. HOWEVER, im currently using a mid-tier premium "printer" paper as my fill (though ill be switching to proper stuff when i run out) and you can definitely use regular sheets youd find anywhere with only minor issues. as for decorative paper--anything works! regular scrapbook paper is perfectly fine, and you can buy 12x12 booklets online or at your local craft store for cheap--it seems like theres always some on sale.

bookcloth - mentioned above, but making your own is probably the cheapest way to do it! however--bookcloth is only essential if youre doing a cased-in binding imo. if youre doing coptics/stabs/open sewn/glue-free/etc. bindings, you dont need it.

glue - glues are tricky. traditionally people use a combination of paste and PVA. however, you can use whatever glue you want so long as youre okay with the drawbacks of using high-moisture stuff. gluesticks, craft glue, whatever. you can also make your own paste with flour and water! if youre looking for some of the things id recommend getting the "good" version of, though, i would pick PVA. i buy mine by the half-gallon and its worth it, and i actually prefer it over nori paste (what can i say--im impatient! and paste takes 24 hours to dry).

cutting tools - this is the one absolute thing i would recommend getting: a good boxcutter with replaceable blades and a large cutting mat. this is the essential tool of all time, because while you can use scissors its nearly impossible to get a straight line on anything. i have a workpro w011043a, an xacto xz3601, and three pairs of scissors of various lengths--and my workpro is what i reach for the most. cutting mats can run a little expensive, but i cant stress enough how much easier your life will be with an open blade + cutting mat as your primary cutting setup.

chipboard - i use several different thicknesses of greyboard for my covers and spines, but you can genuinely use whatever cardboard you have on-hand. got an amazon box? that works!

of course, this is by no means a comprehensive list of tools--but these are my go-to tools for every bind! a lot of the fancy stuff like edging, foiling, bookmark-making, etc, is totally optional and opting out of those will significantly reduce your overhead costs. you can also start out with the inexpensive stuff and upgrade as needed! bookbinding is daunting and yes it does have a bit of an initial investment, but there are definitely ways to make it work if youd really like to get into the hobby. you can also look at starter kits on etsy, too! theyll often come with some of the essential tools as well as materials to make your first book, so you can try it out to see if youd like the hobby without going ham.

as for resources to get started, here are some of what ive used!! also not comprehensive because everyone is different, but a great place to start.

hope this helps!!!

#answers #bad blade bindery

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