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hotjaneaustenmenpoll · 1 month

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Third Place Poll

Propaganda...

Colonel Brandon (1995):

Alan Rickman has the sexiest voice. Just listen to him reading poetry to Marianne at the end to witness how hot he is.

Alan Rickman simply embodies the truth of Col. Brandon in a way that no one else every could. It's the perfect merging of actor and role. He brings the perfect combination of honor, decency, sensitivity and passion. He is the ultimate mensch.

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Brandon propaganda in which even the film's director agrees that Brandon is sexy.

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More Brandon propaganda! This photo could only be published in black and white because it would have been too powerful in color (the original color version is currently being used to provide electricity for a medium sized town in Devon. It's THAT powerful).

The brim of the hat falling over his eye. The casual lean. The hunting rifle slung across his leg. The puppy bestie. The fact you know he could row that boat while you watch and wish you were the boat.

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From Emma Thompson's diaries which she kept while they were shooting Sense & Sensibility. Emma Thompson said vote Colonel Brandon.

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The man has just heard her sing for a minute and he’s positively awestruck!

also adding his adorable adorable smile just bc i can.

Mr Knightley (2009):

Johnny Lee Miller as Knightley is JUST SO. I mean the way he says "if I loved you less I might be able to talk about it more" IS JUUUST. The dance scene. The tentative shy smiles. The fact you can see in his eyes the entire time " I am completely in love with this woman. She'll never love me back BUT I DO NOT CARE I'LL LOVE HER FROM A DISTANCE ANYWAY" IS JUUUUUUST

We need to appreciate Mr Knightley more for both his snark and for those soft eyes just so full of love for Emma

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I was just going to send in the actual dance but the little panic he has when Emma says she knows his secret is just soo charming. There was some thread on twitter a few years ago about how a romcom man's most important quality is knowing how to look at a woman and JLM is just the master of it in this Emma

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I really feel like the pictures say it all. He stands there, head tilted to one side. He is listening to you. His posture is relaxed. His gaze open, frank, candid. He's not trying at all. He just is.And that's why he is Knightley.

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Some propaganda, not just for Jonny Lee Miller, but the general interpretation of 09 Knightley. I have some excerpts here from my review of the 09 adaptation:

What I really think is great about the 2009 interpretation of Mr. Knightley is what an easy and comforting presence he is, without being apologetic when he scolds Emma. I think this is communicated especially well by how often we are actually shown Mr. Knightley taking his almost-daily walks to Hartfield, how smoothly he comes and goes, and how happy Emma is every time she sees him coming up the path (usually, just at the perfect moment when she needs something to put her back to rights.)

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Here is Emma, feeling lonely after Miss Taylor's wedding. And in the background, walking up to Hartfield--there's Knightley. He's always been there for her, and he always will be.

And also this Mr. Knightley is as understated as ever, but I wanna highlight this outfit and why I love it: This is Knightley’s first appearance in the series and it’s the perfect establishing shot that shows the viewer everything they need to know about Emma and Knightley’s relationship and how it has always been. He sort of materializes, out of focus in the background, but Emma immediately knows he’s there. And to accentuate how much Knightley is part of her home and scenery, his clothes (similar shades of pale tan, white and minty green to the wall behind him) almost camouflage him and make him seem at one with the moulding of her home.

Additionally, Jonny Lee Miller captures Knightley’s playful qualities, and his exasperation is so endearing

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I can’t be the only one tickled by this Knightley’s frustration with Emma! JLM FTW!

Jonny Lee Miller is mesmerizing in any role he inhabits. It’s 2009 Knightly all the way.

no but can you actually go vote for mr knightley he was FOUNDATIONAL for 16 year old me my favourite portrayal of my favourite austen man cannot fall at this hurdle!!!

He is my ultimate Austen Dream Man, I'm with him until the end. Honestly this adaptation is my very favorite of them all (P&P 1995 is a VERY close second) because it made me fall in love with Emma as a story? Honestly no other adaptation or indeed even my reading of the book made me love it quite as much. My crush on JLM goes back to 1995 and I do think he is one of the better actors of his generation - his range alone is just impeccable. The fact that he can go from Sick Boy to Mr. Knightley to Sherlock to Jordan Chase is really something. Of all the actors I know, his range is the most impressive. But i love how bright and sunny this adaptation is. The colors, it is as vibrant as Emma should be! The Kate Beckinsale Emma is dark and terrifying to me, not at all suitable an adaptation. I like the Paltrow Emma a lot, but it's got the same issue the 2005 P&P has for me -- it's just too short. This is tonally just right, and the casting is lovely, and JLM is just at his dashing best. His face is so expressive, he is so capable of communicating so much without saying a word. His open jealousy of Frank Churchill is delightful to watch. His face when Emma tells him his secret is out at the ball! JLM is maybe the most underrated actor of his generation and I LOVE that he has been multiple Austen heroes. I maintain that in a future adaptation of Pride & Prejudice, an older JLM would make an EXCELLENT Mr. Bennet. He would convey the right amount of grumpy but fond beautifully.

Look. Do people realize JLM hates wearing period clothing AND hates dancing? And yet in Emma he's sashaying around in pink jackets looking amazing and is THAT convincing? That's called BRILLIANT ACTING!!

A tiny bit of Mr Knightley 2009 propaganda but I love that they put in that bit from the book where he looks like he's going to kiss Emma's hand when he's saying goodbye but then he hesitates and doesn't and I just...it's such a tiny detail but conveys so much!

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It’s the only Emma adaptation that really hits the romance notes well. Knightley’s crowning moment of awesome really feels like it (when he rescues Harriet from humiliation) and his subsequent dancing with Emma does make you feel a shift in their relations. Love this adaptation. - This Knightley and Emma in particular are equals. They quarrel, not because he’s telling her off, but because they can have an argument because they know each other, trust each other and care about each others opinions, and there is never a sense of domination of one over the other. This adds so much fire to the romance, and it’s so unusual for a romance of that era (or even one written today!!). - Emma is rich, clever and beautiful and as powerful as a woman of her age and situation could be at the time and she married Knightley for no other reason but because he’s her best friend and his company for the rest of her life will enrich her. - He even leaves his house to move in with her!

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#hotjaneaustenmenpoll #third place poll #colonel brandon #mr knightley #emma 2009 #sense and sensibility 1995 #Alan rickman #jonny lee miller

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writersblockiskillingme · 4 months

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Call It What You Want | Spencer Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader (singer!reader)

Summary: You lost your reputation, but you gained something so much better.

Warning/s: angst, fluff later on, hostage situation, online bullying, hate comments, stalking, reader has a stalker, famous reader, mentions of guns and knives (light use too), marriage, pregnancy, about babies and birth, in this the song is referred to as Y/N's song (that's not true of course), pet names (pretty boy, gorgeous, love...), also skipped a few parts of the song (sorry)

Author's note: So reader basically entered her Reputation era, but with a happy ending. That's it.

Y/N - your name

Y/L/N - your last name

My castle crumbled overnight

I brought a knife to a gunfight

They took the crown, but it's alright

All the liars are calling me one

Nobody's heard from me for months

I'm doing better than I ever was

The cold breeze of the night in the middle of the giant city as you walked perhaps wasn't doing doing you any favors at all. The coat that you wore wasn't really doing its job. It was supposed to keep you warm during the nights out like this one, but it was anything but. You felt yourself crossing your arms in hopes to pull your coat tighter to yourself so you could gain some warmth, but sadly it wasn't working.

With a disappointed, quiet sigh you swang the bag you had in front of yourself hunting for your keys as you walked along the secured parking lot. You passed a whole lot of cars as you continued to trash through your bad, but not one of those cars was yours.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally reached your car, the sound of your keychain juggling as you tried to get a hold of the key properly.

The whole time you were walking over to your car you felt an overwhelming sensation of the feeling that something, or rather someone, was following your every step. Panic was drowning you as you tried to get into your car as fast as you possibly could.

However, once you finally managed to put the key in due to your shaking hands, you felt a hand covering your mouth. The last thing you heard was your own terrified scream before you drifted into unconsciousness.

The coldness of the uncomfortable chair send a million of shivers down your spine. Your head was pounding so much that it started to be unbearable. At that moment you tried to bring your palm onto the side of your head, but you couldn't move your hands. At that moment you noticed the tight rope with which you were tied up in a chair.

You felt a sense of panic wash over you as you pulled against the ropes, but it was no use. It wasn't working like you hoped it would.

Suddenly, though, you heard a sound that you were sure would haunt you forever if you ever got out of there. The laugh of the person that took you hostage.

"Don't worry, my love," The vile man smiled at you. "Now you can finally be mine forever."

It sickened you.

The way he approached you, the way he slowly reached out to you to place his hand on your cheek as he talked to you. You felt like you could throw up at the sight of it alone.

"How- how did you..." your voice trembled as you spoke, trying to hold your ground, but to no use. "Why did you do this?"

"I've been watching you for a while, gorgeous," He said, rubbing circles against your cheek. "You are simply gorgeous, I just had to have a pretty thing like you."

You were terrified because at that moment you realized that it was over. You were never getting out of this. Your stalker would make your life a living hell just because of the way you looked and the fact that you did what you loved since you were a child.

He slowly let go of your cheek as he stepped back, not once breaking the eye contact with you. You couldn't help but let one tear slide down your cheek. It was over for you.

And just as you began to drown in your own sorrows, the door of the basement in which he held you were broken down.

"FBI!" Someone yelled out, the flash of the lights that filled the room were too bright, you couldn't see the FBI agents that entered. "Don't move!"

The guns were held up, surrounding your stalker who was, thankfully, weaponless.

Your head was hurting you even worse than it did before because of the flashing lights, but you had never felt a bigger sense of relief washing over you than at the moment when they forcefully entered and you felt someone moving to you.

"Are you okay, miss?" You turned your head slowly, in fear that your head was going to ache even more. The last thing that you wanted was to faint now.

"Y-Yes," You barely whispered to the man who was untying you as fast as he possibly could. "Thank you."

"Reid!" You heard another man shout, his voice ringing with authority. "Get her our of here now."

Perhaps you were still frozen from the shock, but you didn't know exactly how you suddenly got outside. You were sat down as the paramedics checked over you. Your head was still spinning and everything was hurting you, but it could've been worse.

At that moment, Spencer stood aside watching over you silently. He couldn't help himself. He simply couldn't help but to admire you as the paramedics did their job.

"What's up with you, pretty boy?" Derek came over to him, his voice hinting that he was really for teasing. "You have a crush on our singer, huh?"

"W-What? No, of course not." Spencer felt himself flush and Derek stared to laugh at the genius.

"Really?" Morgan mockingly put his hand on his chest to express that he didn't believe anything that came out of Spencer's mouth. "Because, if I'm being honest, pretty boy, your staring kind of gave it away."

Spencer was growing more red as the seconds passed. He kept quiet up until Derek stopped laughing and looked at him.

"You should ask her out." He suggested.

"I don't know." Spencer whispered so quietly that Morgan almost didn't catch it.

Before Morgan could say anything else the voice of one of the paramedics announced that you were free to go, and Spencer felt himself suddenly walk over to you without even realizing it as Morgan continued to watch with amusement.

"Hey."

You turned around at the sound of Spencer's voice and Spencer felt like his breath was knocked out of his lungs. Your eyes were sparkling brighter than the stars that covered the cold night sky and he felt himself getting flushed again.

"Am... I- I was wondering i-if you would like me t-to take you home." Spencer stuttered a bit as you made eye contact with him, listening to him speaking."

You smiled at him, he was truly, utterly gorgeous. "That's really sweet, but I don't want to bother you."

"Please, it would be a pleasure to make sure you come home safe."

And so, after a while, you accepted his request and made a promise in front of the door of your apartment to keep in touch with the FBI agent who saved your life and will continue to save your life for as long as there is air in his lungs and the stars in his eyes.

'Cause my baby's fit like a daydream

Walkin' with his head down, I'm the one he's walkin' to

So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

My baby's fly like a jet stream

High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new

So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

After all that happened to you with your stalker that was now put into prison, you decided to dissappear from the public eye for a while. You yearned for a break that was much needed. But with the break that you publicly announced and a promise to dissappear for a while you had to be more careful.

The trips to the simple places like grocery stores were yet another opportunity to dress up so no one could possibly recognize you. At that time, the number of the baseball caps, and a whole bunch of oversized hoodies, seemed to drastically increase and it continued to do so.

But there was a minor slip-up after 6 months since you disappeared.

It was a surprisingly quiet night. Spencer returned from the case earlier and you decided to take a walk around the town after visiting a local coffee shop.

You were so wrapped up in each other, soaking up every moment you had with each other. Sharing a whole lot of stolen kisses, looks, his hand nested itself on your shoulders, sharing laughter and smiles, eyes spanking. They were full of happiness and utter joy every time you were with him.

What neither of you expected was for Penelope practically tearing down the whole conference room, almost breaking down the door the next day just so she could get to Spencer.

Spencer was sitting at his chair, looking over the files along with everyone else when he found himself being startled as he watched Penelope waving the newest copy of today's newspaper as she practically screamed in excitement.

He was rather confused by her suddenly excitement even though it wasn't unusual for her. But once he saw her slamming the newspaper in the middle of the desk he felt himself getting pale.

Spencer and you made a cover of today's news. The headline, written in overly dramatic big letters with the fine print, read "AFTER 6 MONTH SHE MADE AN APPERCEIVE! FAMOUS SINGER Y/N Y/L/N SEEN WITH A MYSTERIOUS STRANGER!!"

Just below the headline there was a picture of him and you from the night before. His arm was placed over your shoulders, bringing you closer to warm you up and keep you safe. His face was somehow, somewhat, covered by his hair because of the wind that couldn't be contained that night. Your hand was holding his that was slang over your shoulders. Your smile was radiant, your eyes shining as you kept your gaze on him. He couldn't help but smile a little at the photo.

"Explain yourself now, Spencer Reid!" Penelope shrieked, her voice getting higher each second. "What the hell are you doing with freaking Y/N Y/L/N!!"

He started stuttering so much, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation, but his nerves got the best of him. Suddenly, he felt a hand slapping his back sending him forward a bit as Morgan laughed.

"Good for you, pretty boy." Morgan smiled at him, teasingly. "Good for you."

All my flowers grew back as thorns

Windows boarded up after the storm

He built a fire just to keep me warm

All the drama queens taking swings

All the jokers dressin' up as kings

They fade to nothin' when I look at him

Pretty soon a year had passed since the hostage situation which included you being in danger.

A year since you met Spencer, a year of nothing but love and happiness.

Spencer opened the door of his apartment and held it like that so you could get into the apartment before him.

You stepped into the apartment, shaking the snowflakes that stuck to your head on this, quite cold, night in late November. You stood still for a moment, admiring Spencer as he removed his purple scarf before quickly lighting up the fire in the fireplace so that the warmth could spread around your home.

However, you noticed the slight change in his demeanor as you sat yourselfs on the couch near the fireplace. You, however, decided to not say anything because you knew that he would say what he wanted to once he was ready. You didn't want to put more pressure on him, but the plain fact that he was nervous made you extremely so, too.

Finally, Spencer took a deep breath before he turned to you.

"I know that this might seem sudden," Spencer started as he shyly looked into your concerned eyes that watched him talk carefully. "But I feel like I know you for longer than a year. I feel like I've known you my whole life. You complete me in every possible way one person can complete another. You bring immense joy in my life every single day. You show me that life and even people can be good every single day and I believe you despite all of the horrible things I see every day."

You were deeply touched by his confessed, but you were slightly confused because you could quite figure out as to why he was saying all of this to you right now.

"I can't imagine not waking up to you every moment," Spencer confessed, looking longingly into your eyes and you found yourself surprised when the sudden realization that he didn't stutter once drained on you. "I can't imagine seeing you every day, listening to your voice and admiring everything that you do."

Suddenly, he stood up and slowly lowered himself on one knee in front of you. He held out a small box in his hand before he continued to speak. You felt like you couldn't breathe once you realized what was about to happen, what was already happening.

"I simply can not imagine my life without you in it," Spencer continued as tears gathered in your eyes. "Will you make me the happiest man on this planet and marry me?"

"Yes!" You spoke up after you had gotten over your frozen state of shock. "Yes, of course I'll marry you, Spence!" You said, voice full of love as he slipped a beautiful ring onto your finger.

As you sat there by the fire, you knew that you had found the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. The snow continued to fall outside, but you knew that nothing could beat the warm feeling in the apartment and in your heart.

And I know I make the same mistakes every time

Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right

I did one thing right

I'm laughin' with my lover, makin' forts under covers

Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right

Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night

Two years flashes by to fast for you to keep up it seemed like.

Spencer and you got married as fast as you possibly could. You love each other more than anything and you were ready so you figured why not do it immediately. The life had been a bliss. And just when it seemed like it couldn't be better you found out that you were pregnant.

Spencer was overjoyed. He always wanted to have children, he always wanted to be a father. And now he could do it with the person he most loved, admired and cared for. He truly felt like passing out the moment he found out. And he did, but would always deny it with a blush glued to his face every time Morgan brought it up to tease him.

The moment your water broke all hell broke loose. Luckily, Spencer was at home so the only thing you had to do was to grab your hospital bag, keys and head to the car. You were 100% prepared for this.

However, you always felt like the moment it happened and it was finally time to go to the hospital you would be the one who would go into a panicked frenzy. So it was safe to say that you were genuinely surprised that once Spencer and you managed to stumble into the car and were on your way, you were the one who had the role of comforting the one who was in panic. Spencer was gripping the wheel so tightly you were scared that he would break it. It would be rather amusing if you weren't in so much pain already.

But after hours of labor and excruciating following hours of birth once you felt limp against the mattress, still holding onto Spencer's hand which you gripped so hard, but he never once complained, bless his heart, everything truly was worth it once you heard the loud yet at the same time soft cries of your baby girl.

Now, as you laid in the bed in another hospital room you couldn't move your eyes away from the sweet sight of Spencer sleeping in the chair right next to your bed with your baby girl in his arms. It was truly the sweetest sight you had ever witnessed. Spencer's messy hair was spread everywhere as his arms tightened around your little bundle of joy, but not to tightly to hurt her. The moment he got her in his arms, he wouldn't let her go. You guessed that he was afraid thay something unexpected would happen even though you gave your best to reassure him.

After hours of sleeping once you woke up, you could fall back asleep for some reason. Not that you complained.

You heard the door open and you turned your head that was still pressed against the pillow on the bed at the direction of the door. It was JJ, trying to enter as quietly as she possibly could while carrying a few cups of coffee.

"How are you, mama?" She whispered softly as he took a seat on another chair on the other side of your bed.

"Still a bit sore, but fine." You gave her a small smile that she softly returned. "I'm just so glad that this happened." You confessed quietly as you looked at JJ.

"I made a lot of mistakes in my life," You said as she listened to your every word. "But having our daughter with him... I know that I did one thing right."

I want to wear his initial

On a chain 'round my neck, chain 'round my neck

Not because he owns me

But 'cause he really knows me

Which is more than they can say, I

I recall late November

Holdin' my breath, slowly I said

"You don't need to save me

But would you run away with me?"

Yes (would you run away?)

A few months later another headline was released in many newspapers and magazines. There were a bunch of articles all over internet, too.

The newest addition of the People's magazine was laying on Penelope's dest by her screens. Derek soon enough entered the room with a curious look.

"Hey, baby girl," He greeted as he pressed a kiss on Penelope's cheek, looking over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of the newest addition of the magazine. "What are you up to?"

"Why hello handsome," she greeted with a smile before she brought the attention back to the magazine. "Look who made the cover."

And sure enough, on the front cover of the magazine, at the very top, there was a headline written with big, capital letters saying: Y/N Y/L/N MARRIED!? THE MUSIC STAR WAS SEEN WITH HER HUSBAND AND HER BABY OUT ON THE WALK FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!"

Below the dramatic headline there was a picture of Spencer and you holding hands, dressed in warm clothes as you walked around the city on a cold, snowy November night. In front of you there was a stroller in which your daughter, Annie, was in. Your hand was quite visible along with the ring that was clearly a weeding ring. Spencer had his arm around your shoulder, showcasing his ring as well.

On the bottom of the cover there were some other news that were in slightly smaller font. You also released the new song after a long while. The song was called "Call It What You Want" and it said to turn the page 13 for the full lyrics and Derek did just that.

Penelope couldn't help but to let out a screech after she practically showed the magazine in his face. And just as Derek finished reading the lyrics to the song he couldn't help but to smile.

"Good for you, pretty boy," Derek pointed out, happily. "Good for you."

"Give me the magazine back," Penelope excitedly ordered him. "I'm gonna frame this now."

My baby's fit like a daydream

Walkin' with his head down, I'm the one he's walkin' to

(Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it)

So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

My baby's fly like a jet stream

High above the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new

(Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it)

So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to

Call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want

JOIN THE TAGLIST HERE!!

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beetlegoose01 · 4 months

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Hold on to the memories (Specs x Tucker)

happy new years my loves!! be safe alright? 💕✨️🎉🍾we survived 2023!! be nice this is my first time writing this pair AND for this fandom lmao Read on AO3!

December 31st- 11:45 pm.

Parties suck.

Specs ditches it ages ago, opting to slink behind the porch swing and cradle his remaining daiquiri as if his life depends on it. Which it does. There is no way he could handle the rest of the year—fifteen minutes of it left, sober. Not that hiding matters anyway. Outside there's an even bigger group of people, shouting, screaming along to the song playing on the speakers. Fireworks crackle above his head, a rainbow mishmash of colors that blend into the misty sky, along with some cigarette smoke.

He can't remember why he even showed up. He didn't know any of these people fooling around like idiots. Was he even invited? Or did he just go along with Tucker?

He jolts from his daze to realize something. 'Oh fuck I lost Tucker. How did I lose Tucker? He's not exactly an easy person to lose!'

Thankfully Tucker wasn't his designated driver, but he still liked having him around for moral support.

He couldn't remember the last time he saw him. It was...maybe it was when he was wandering around the house. The music was pounding in his ears, and Tucker had mentioned something about helping his cousin with..something. What was that something?

"Don't go anywhere, Specs, I just need to help Taylor clean up the—you know. Ugh."

Puke. Right. Someone had puked inside the cat's litter box. And that was when Specs decided to step outside to get some air.

He takes another sip of his drink, swallowing away the tartness of it all, the blended ratio of lime to rum being too uneven for even him to find it delicious in any capacity. Not to mention it seemed to make his vision worse. It wasn't unusual for his glasses to slip off, seeing as they needed to be adjusted every other second, but upon touching his face, he feels the frame right on the bridge of his nose. He simply hadn't noticed, with the noise and the overwhelming atmosphere of it all. He wouldn't mind going home before midnight. Maybe he could catch Elise and they could go spirit hunting.

Except she was off playing bingo with her friends, so even if he did get back, she wouldn't be there.

His glass was empty now. Specs places it aside and exhales, resting his back against the edge of the porch stairs. It was only when he let himself wander for a bit towards the lawn that he notices a tall, bearded man moving towards him.

"There you are!" Tucker says and with no hesitation plops right next to him.

"Surprise, you found me." He replies flatly.

"You're not that hard to find. Five-foot nothing guy with glasses." He ignores Spec's noise of faux outrage. "And, I happened to notice you ran off without telling me."

"Aw, you do care."

Tucker shoots him a look, before taking a swig of whiskey.

Specs leans over, bumping his shoulder against him lightly without thinking. "I needed the fresh air." He admits after a moment of silence.

"Air's not that fresh out here."

"It's better outside than in. Can't stand the noise."

"Well it is a New Years party, kinda expect it to be a little noisy."

"New Years Eve party," He corrects. "No one actually celebrates New Year's Day 'cause they're too busy recovering from their hangovers. Y'know, it almost makes zero sense why it exists. There's nothing special about it. And...and new years resolutions? Like who the hell does those? It's so dumb. And fuck, it's so loud."

"Specs, how drunk are you?" Tucker smirks, allowing the other to lean closer almost into his lap.

"Yes." He grumbles.

"If you hate the noise so much, why did you show up?"

"You know why."

Mischief twinkles in his warm brown eyes. "Guess I do." His voice is gruff, but comforting. “Because I'm your best friend, and the only person who would invite you to a party. There's a first time for everyone, Specs.”

“Fuck off. That's only partly true.”

“Mm.”

"What time is it?" He gestures at Tucker's watch.

He glances down. "Nearly midnight, about a minute."

"Ha, you've got a few seconds then to figure out your resolution."

"I thought you said resolutions were dumb?"

"They are, that's why I expect you to do one. Duh."

He rolls his eyes. "Alright, my resolution is---"

Someone shouts over the buzz of voices. "Ten seconds till midnight! Everyone couple up, and get ready!"

It takes them a second to realize what's going on. Men with women, men with men, women with women, all huddling in the cold, waiting in anticipation as they start to count down.

10...9...8...

"Is this the part where we kiss?" Specs whispers, not realizing he says it aloud. "Oh fuck."

7...6...5...4...

Tucker seems taken aback, his eyes wide in astonishment at the suggestion. "I---think so? Do we?"

He shrugs. "Not if you don't want to! My mouth started doing the talking...before I finished thinking."

Tucker chuckles. "

Let's do it, man. It's tradition."

3...2...1

Neither man knows who moves first. Specs feels Tucker tenderly cup his cheek to tilt it slightly, his rough, chapped lips finally pressing against his in a soft gesture of affection. Specs didn't expect to feel anything but a quick burst of adrenaline. Instead he felt light, tingling all of a sudden---and it wasn't because Tucker's beard was tickling him.

When they pull away, Specs is left wanting more. He catches a glimpse of Tucker's eyelashes fluttering open, and he nearly passes out at the sight. He never realized how beautiful he is, never grasped just how his eyes seemed to shine under the moonlight.

"Woah."

"Woah." He echoes. "That was..."

"Yeah...that was...really---" His cheeks redden, at a loss for words.

"Nice."

"Yeah, nice, that's the word I was looking for."

"Happy New Year?"

"Happy New Year." He nudges him. "You never told me your resolution."

Tucker winks, placing his hand in Spec's hip. "Don't need to. I already did my resolution for this year."

#specs x tucker #insidious #insidious chapter 2 #specs insidious #tucker insidious #fanfiction #one shot

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whattodowithfeelins · 2 years

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Okay so here it is. The "In My Feelings" post I talked about earlier. Before I start though, I just want to give a little disclaimer. For whom, I don't know. But a disclaimer nevertheless. I might cry a little while writing this post. I might cry a lot. But I promise you that I'm okay right now. And if I'm not, I'm in that point in life where I know that I most probably will be.

This post is mostly about 2021. I have mentioned this year on my previous posts but I don't think I've really gone in depth on what happened that year. This is the post where I try to tell it in as much detail as I could, in hopes of reducing the baggage that I'm carrying right now. Now. I've decided that I'm just gonna type. No editing. No thinking of what to say next. No thinking of how to say things best. Just typing away until I feel that I've typed enough. I don't know if I will have the guts to show this to someone someday but in case I do, then reader, this might not make sense to you. I haven't spoke to anyone regarding this point in my life (master of keeping shit to myself, right?) so no one really knows exactly what happened. And the way I'm gonna tell the story now won't help either. So I guess just read along if you want to.

I guess I'm gonna start this story in the last quarter of 2019. That was when, I think, my life started to pick up. I was feeling carefree, just playing with my Nintendo Switch and hanging out with friends from time to time. I even had clear skin (as said by one of my friends, at least). That was the year when I first felt lonely on Christmas and New Years', And that was the point in my life when I decided that I'm gonna actively chase my happiness.

Then, 2020 came. The first months were bleak, but still pretty okay. Then, the pandemic happened. At first it was just like, oh hey this has happened before. I thought it was gonna go away in a few months. THen it started getting more and more serious and more and more scary. Suddenly, there were lockdowns. People weren't allowed to go outside. It was the first time in my life that I saw the streets of my town empty. It was scary, but unsettlingly tranquil at the same time. THen, my company had the first reduction in force. I watched most of my friends get laid off from work. It was fucking sad. I thought I was gonna be a part of it. Thankfully I was not, but it was shitty knowing that all these people I worked with, I won't work with anymore. Then, it started getting a little better. Having a lot less people to befriend, to hang out with, gave me a chance to strengthen my friendship with who I was with at the moment. It was a mixed bag of emotions and experiences. The tranquility of the lockdowns, the threat of the first covid case in my company (that I almost got in close contact with), the new experiences, the new hairstyles, the new normal. It was wild. THen, I remembered ending the year in a good note. Still, the happiness brought by playing Age of Calamity on my Switch. The snowballs I bought for my family on Christmas. That 2 week break. The night when me and some of my workmates got drunk. The day after when we all tried to act normal and sober. The first antigen test. Evermore by Taylor Swift. It was a peaceful end to a chaotic year. And it gave me a little bit of hope for the year to come.

Then, 2021 came. Everything was normal. Well, in those couple years' standards at least. Then one day in February, another reduction in force happened. Unfortunately, this time, I was part of it. It was such a devastating blow to me. I have focused too much on my career that now that I don't have it, I don't know what to do with my life. Add to that the trauma that I had when I was job hunting for the first time (I won't talk about it now tho). Anyway, that was the lowest that I was in my life. The first days, I remember having dreams about being still at work. Being still with people I worked with. I remember receiving messages from my (ex) colleagues and just crying my eyes out. Then I remember the numbness. I remember stopping crying, but stopping feeling anything too. I remember just playing Xenoblade Chronicles on my Switch (shoutout to Nintendo, I just realized how much you have helped me get through everything I went through), the game that I bought days before the RIF, just in case I lost my job, so I would have something to distract myself. I remembered going to one of my colleagues house to teach him the work that I left. Then we went to the house of another colleague. THat was the first time that the three of us got together after the RIF. It was nice. It was melancholic. Then it was sad. It felt kind of like a closure. But it was still really fucking sad. Then there was the day when we wen't to get our separation pays. That was around 2 months after we lost our jobs. By that time I felt like I was making progress. Like I was finally moving on. Then that day, seeing the faces of the people we used to work with, I realized that I didn't make any progress at all. That I thought I was better because I repressed every thought, every feeling about losing my job. And now that I had to face reality again, I knew that I was fucking with myself. I wasn't better at all. The next few months were pretty much the same. Trying to find a freelancing job, just so I had something to do while waiting for the chance to take back my job. Trying out cryptocurrency (and failing). Getting back to reading books. Everythin was a scheme to distract myself from reality. THen came August. I received a call from my PRD, asking me if I wanted to come back. Then she told me to send my resume for the job opening they had, since they were starting to rehire people that month. I was ecstatic. I did submit my resume, thinking "Wow, this is gonna be a full 180. I got called for my first interview August 5, 2018, now it's August 5, 2021 and my life is about to take a turn for the good again!" Then after that, days passed by. Then weeks. And all I got was radio silence. That, I think was what broke me. I was thinking that they didn't want me back after all. I was sad. I was angry. And then I felt hopeless. I remembered how 2020 was. How 2019 was. And I knew (thought) then that I reached my peak. Those years were the best in my life. THose years were when I was the happiest. And those years will be the best. I have reached my peak, and it's nothing but downhill from here. I will never get back to where I was back then. And that was such a damaging thought to have. I seriously considered going out in the middle of the night, going somewhere far, far away without telling anyone, just so I could escape everything and restart my life somewhere. I didn't want to die. I never wanted to die. But I sure wanted to disappear. I wanted to forget everyone that I knew. I wanted to start a whole new life somewhere, from scratch. Then I wanted to get back when I was fine. When I was okay again. When I was ready to face the people I couldn't face then. When I was ready to apologize for leaving. When I was ready to rebuild relationships.

The next months were when I started to feel hopeful again. The first interview. Then, the second interview. The first time I went out the house. The first time I hanged out with friends in 2 years. The call. The good news.

Those months were great. But the whole 8 months before that. The whole paragraph I wrote about 2021. All of that I kept to myself. I made everyone assume that I was feeling great. Heck, I even helped one of my friends get through her tough time. And now, I'm realizing how much damage that has caused me. How much easier it would've been if I told someone. If I was honest enough to other people, to myself, that I wasn't okay. That I needed to talk to someone. That I needed someone to understand and tell me that everything will be okay. That I wasn't alone. That I didn't need to be alone.

I don't know what to say now. I think this post has been long enough. I don't even know why I typed all of this out. Maybe I just needed to tell somebody. Or something. Maybe I just needed to finally let it out in the open, even if nobody will see it. Just so I could finally make peace with everything that happened. Like I've said before, now that I'm okay, I can see that it wasn't all that bad, that period in my life. It taught me a lot about a lot of things. I don't know where this is going again. I really don't. I've just been rambling on and on. But I feel like there has to be something of coherence that I could come up with to end this. So please let me try.

Maybe I did write this in hopes of letting things out. Of reducing the baggage that I have. Of trying to feel how I would have felt if I opened up to someone. Maybe this is part of the closure that I need. All the reminiscing. All the accepting. All the recognizing that everything really did happen. That everything was real. The sadness was real. The pain was real. And the realizing that it's over. That I am finally out of that tunnel and that I came out stronger and wiser. That things will probably be bad again in the future but things will get better, just as it did now. And most of all, that I didn't have to carry all this weight on my own. That there are people willing to listen. That there are people who understand.

Now that I've said too much, I don't know how to end this. So... whatever, I guess.

September 16, 2022

P.S. Midnights will probably fuck me up. Can't wait.

0 notes

justyoursimpleflower · 3 years

Text

Gorgeous

Pairing- James Potter x werewolf!Lupin!female!reader. (That's a mouthful)

Summary:- reader has a tiny bit of crush on school's golden boy and she finds him very gorgeous but she can't say anything to his face.

Word count:- 4.3k (damn)

Warning:- mentions of scars, alcohol, insecurities. (I think this is but inform me if any other) also lets pretend James has ocean blue eyes.

A/N:- so here it is the one shot promised based on the song Gorgeous, I wanted to make something silly kind of but it turned out different than that but alright. It is based on the song called gorgeous by Taylor Swift but I changed something. If you find any errors please inform me. Enjoy read! And thanks to @ultarviolence for actually suggesting to with whom the oneshot be. Credits for the pictures goes to their rightful owners, I only own the collage. Tiny bit of wolfstar too. Also a reblog will be helpful.👉👈

Masterlist

Petrichor. The earthy smell filled your heightened senses as you felt him coming near you. As much as it intimidated you, it was bliss, somehow it relaxed you. But maybe even in that bliss you were aware how he affected you. Your back still towards him you started walking away from him, everyone was congratulating him on quidditch pitch after his marvellous performance against Slytherin, and here you were walking away from him.

You told Remus that you rather snuggle in your blankets and relax before the full moon but he was stubborn, just like you, and dragged you to quidditch pitch. It was even alright till you had to sit in the rain and watch the match but it all blew up when he saw you sitting in the stands, still on his broom he caught your eye and winked at you, causing a rush a shiver to run down your spine and feel the gross butterflies (it's not like you were looking for him all around the pitch). Alright maybe you were. But that doesn't mean it meant something.

Actually it meant everything. He was gorgeous, more than beautiful. He was breathtaking.

You almost were out of the pitch when a hand wrapped around your scarred one and you internally groaned. Turning around and coming face to face with your worst fear.

He looked at you with those freaking ocean blue eyes. Inhaling deep breath, you stared back at him, directly in his eyes.

You didn't know if he was intimidated by your glare or just trying not to laugh at your cowardice, when his throat bobbed when he gulped.

He released a airy laugh and said,

"Won't you congratulate me for my amazing performance?" He tilted his head, acting innocent. And honestly, he was looking adorable.

Shut up.

'All I want to say is that you are gorgeous.'

"Your ego is big enough without me inflating it." Your words betraying your thoughts. It did nothing to him but made him smirk a little more.

You rolled your eyes and turned around and started walking away.

"At least come to the party!" His voice bounced and reached you.

Merlin, why he is so gorgeous.

You internally groaned as you felt Lily shaking your shoulders.

"Female Lupin, if you don't get up right now, I am going to get male Lupin and make you have a good conversation with him."

"But Lils!" You whined. You had no intention in going to that ruddy party, where James bloody Potter would be.

She sighed and sat down next to a lying figure on the bed. She started running her hands in your hair, humming softly.

You looked at her. Actually looked at her. What was there not to like? She was perfect in studies, had the most magical eyes, the softest hair and kindest heart. On the other hand you were nothing like her.

You were a monster.

Each full moon, you hunted for lives, each full moon, you became a monster.

But no one knew that, except a handful of people. And unluckily, he too knew that. What phased you more was that he was ready to take a risk upon his life by being with you and your brother in those dark nights where you both lose yourselves to your inner monsters.

You always felt comfort in thinking that it was all for Remus, you just got to be a part of it due to you having no other place than the Shack. Who knows that if it hadn't been because of your condition, he would have noticed that you existed?

You were shaken out of your thoughts when you heard a loud bang on the door. Lily looked at you in confusion but gave you a look when found you doing the same to her. She got up and opened the door and found Marlene smiling giddily at both of you.

"What are you two doing here?" She exclaimed.

"The party has started!" She exclaimed and now did you notice that her words were slurred.

At least there is alcohol.

"Marlene...the party just started and you are drunk." Lily said with sigh, disappointment evident on her face.

Marlene just grinned, flipped her hair and started descending the stairs whilst saying something along the line,

"It's just the starter."

Lily turned towards you and opened her mouth to say something but we're stopped by the sudden thumping sound that came from the stairs. You got up quickly from your bed and looked downwards with Lily on your side.

On the stairs, Marlene was laying face on the top most stairs, her hair sprawled on the floor just outside your dormitory.

A gasp left Lily's lips and she crouched down to look at your friend, while you were trying your best to stop the laugh that was about to leave your lips. You too crouched down to her level but before you could say anything Marlene suddenly jumped and sat with her legs crossed, facing you both.

Lily gasped and your eyes went wide with shock but when you both looked at Marlene, she was just giving you both a cheeky smile.

"Merlin, women! Thought you were possessed for a moment!" You exclaimed with a hand on your chest.

You got no reaction from her, instead she just stood up and pulled you both too in a standing position.

"I forgot that I was bribed to drag both of your arses downstairs."

You squint your eyes and raising a brow you said,

"Who bribed you?"

Her face light up and smiling widely, she threw her hands in the air and exclaimed,

"Pames Jotter!"

Lily smacked her hand on her forehead, you winced just thinking how painful it would have been, assuming by the sound.

You heard Marlene's giggles and turned towards her.

"Get it? Pames Jotter is James Potter!" She giggled harder and smiled widely.

You visibly shivered at the name. You eyed the blonde in front of you and started thinking of all the things that you could use to convince her and let you go.

You slowly approached the opportunity,

"Marlene..."

Marlene who had broken into a dance, swaying Lily with her stopped abruptly and looked at you. All humor was wiped away from her face.

You sighed then looked at her,

"You are not drunk, are you?"

She turned towards you and smiled sheepishly,

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"You are forgetting that I am the twin of Remus Lupin. We notice small things."

Marlene sighed and looked to be contemplating something before breaking the facade.

"Yeah, alright, I was acting." Lily hit her arm as soon as the words left her mouth and Marlene grumbled about how she was kind of pissed off by the Lupin siblings in a not so respectful way.

"Why?" You whined to Marlene.

She rolled her eyes and said,

"Because I know that you were not going to come unless practically dragged down.

"So?"

"So? So? Just because you have a crush on the school's golden boy doesn't mean that you should rot in the dorm when everyone else is having a swing."

You felt flustered about how obvious were your feelings for him, you opened your mouth to retort but you couldn't find a better reason. Afterall, it was the reason you refused to be down at the party. You sighed and tried to ignore your friends' pitying faces.

"Okay, let's do this, we go to the party, have the time of your life, whilst we find something that you don't have to interact with him."

"And how we do this?" You raised an eyebrow, seriously questioning your friend's mind,

"I mean, how are we going to do this? He was the one who organised the party."

Marlene let a smirk form on her face and said,

"Technically, the party was organised because of him, not by him."

"Yeah, and that helps a lot." Lily rolled her eyes.

"You don't get it Lils! We are going to be so drunk and stay as far as possible from him."

You clapped your hands and said,

"Yes! We will get drunk and stay in our dorms! Go Marls, bring some drinks!"

Marlene rolled her eyes and took a threatening step towards you.

"Okay, enough, now you are going to get ready or I am dragging you just like this."

You opened your mouth to say something but,

"Nope! No, no more whining!" She cut you off.

She then clapped her hands and said,

"Alright, both of you get ready, I'll see you downstairs!"

She smiled and kissed your cheek before descending down the stairs.

You looked at Lily and sighed. When you saw her smirking you gave her a dry look and finally accepted your faith.

"Alright, girl, slow down." Remus said from your side, where he had been standing and rubbing your back for the past fifteen minutes.

After you came to the party, you were convinced that Lily and Marlene were not going to leave your side. But who were you kidding? They left you ten minutes in the party, saying that you need to live up and actually let James have his way with you.

You almost scoffed at the thought. James wanted nothing but to tease you by just assuming you fancied him. Only if he knew how true that was.

You were about to take a sip from your cup when it was snatched away from your hand,

"Hey!" You hit Remus on his arm for it but he did nothing other than shrug.

"You almost had enough to last you a lifetime."

When he saw your sour expression he sighed,

"Listen, I don't have any problem with how much you drink. If I am being honest, I love it when you get drunk, you spill all your secrets but I don't want you to grumble when you have the baddest hangover."

You gave him an odd look with your arms folded over your chest, you said,

"I don't tell any secrets when I'm drunk."

"Oh you so do."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Tell me about one."

"You got the biggest crush on James."

You opened your mouth to counter his remark but your words died in your throat. Swallowing hard you whispered,

"I didn't…"

A smirk formed on his lips,

"You did."

You held your head in your hands and propped your elbows on the drink table near. You wanted to have the time of your life and here you were, finding out that you told your brother about your crush on his friend.

"You don't have any problem with it?" You mumbled with your head still in your hands.

Remus saw your sour expression and pulled your arm lightly and said,

"Hey, don't be sad now."

"Yeah, my brother found out that I have a crush on one of his best mates is not concerning."

"If it makes you feel better, I think he likes you too."

You gave him a dry look and took one more cup and gulped it in a single sip. The liquid burned your throat but atleast it was good enough to lighten the pressure on your head.

"Have you heard the way he talks?" You asked Remus who raised an eyebrow, clearly finding amusement in your condition. You gave him an annoyed look and continued,

"He talks like he knows all about everything. 'At Least come to the party', bloody buffoon. He–he knew that I would react this way and still! His voice is like the clawing of nails on iron. It gives me headache!" You looked at Remus who still had an annoying smile on his face,

"Why are you smiling?" You asked him annoyed.

"Why don't you say this to his face? Maybe he will go away" He suggested and you thought about this, maybe he was right. You found him looking behind you, you followed his eyesight and you frown deepened. Another glass down.

In front of you was James Potter goofing around with his best mate Sirius Black when other people were gawking at their sights.

"Doesn't he feel scared about how much people are attracted to him?" You mumbled to yourself but Remus heard you anyway and chuckled. You turned and glared at him.

"Honestly, why don't you just say all this to him? You know, it would be better." He said.

"You wait Remus Lupin till I find out about the person you like, then we will see." You turned towards the table again only to find the person you were not so subtly judging only to find him gone from there. Frowning, you raise your cup back to your lips and empty its contents in your throat. A shiver ran down your spine as the liquid burned your insides. You were starting to feel the outputs of the alcohol inside your system, your head started feeling dizzy and it felt really light. You turned around to find Remus surrounded by the Marauders this time and one of them was looking at you, he was looking at you.

Sirius draped his arm around your shoulder, breaking you out of the trance. You stumbled a bit as the alcohol in your system started taking a toll on you.

"Where's your boyfriend Y/N?" He asked you in mock concern.

You rolled your eyes but it did nothing other than increase the slowly growing headache you had.

A chuckle passed James's lips making you look at him, and unfortunately (or fortunately) he looked at you at the same time. You quickly diverted your eyes and shoved Sirius's arm from around you.

"Very funny, Black."

He grinned at you whereas you were slowly getting more and more dizzy.

"He still looks so scared whenever he looks at James."

You tried to hide your smile but it slipped anyway. Maybe you didn't know but your smile made James grin.

"Wait, why is he scared of James?" Remus asked suddenly. Your eyes widened at his words.

Oh shoot he didn't know.

It seemed like they too realised their mistake. They started stumbling over their words and you knew it was all on you.

"Where is Peter?" You asked, trying your best to change the topic.

Remus gave you a curious look but didn't question further.

"Er—Remus, come dance with me, won't you?" Sirius offered his arm to Remus, his nervous expression fading into a wide smirk. His words caused a blush to tint on Remus' cheeks and a small smile to form on his lips.

"Sure." And with that, they both left your drunk self with a very sober looking James Potter.

"Um–I think Marlene was calling me, I am going." You were about to walk away before he caught you by arm and pulled you back. You stumbled a bit, clearly due to intoxicating alcohol, or was it because of him.

"You never spend time with me." He pouted looking at you with those ocean blue eyes.

You were in such a daze that you didn't even react to his words. One reason was that now you were completely intoxicated and the other was that it was him.

"Well...you should take it as a compliment that I talk to everyone but you."

He was about to reply when suddenly darkness spread across the room. Shouts and protests rang out in the room, all increasing your headache.

Your hands frantically searched for something to hold on, when a bigger hand enveloped yours in it. It took time but your eyes adjusted in the darkness and you could lightly make out the face of the person holding your hand. Suddenly all the voices seemed to dim, suddenly the darkness was enough for you, suddenly you felt calm. Your stomach was churning but you were damn sure it wasn't the firewhisky.

You should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in the darkened room.

He pulled you closer to him by his grip on your hand. He wrapped his other arm around your shoulder and instinctively your head leaned on his shoulder.

You felt his breath hitch but you chose not to say anything.

"Someone was informed that McGonagall was on round, the candles will be lit again soon." He almost whispered to you. And just then the candles were lit again.

James expected you to draw away from him as soon as the candles were lit again but you didn't move from your position. Still wrapped around his side.

And he was definitely not complaining.

"James...dance with me?" You asked, lifting your head from his shoulder. You looked so innocent and adorable that he couldn't deny your face.

Or because of the fact that he was never in a lifetime going to lose this opportunity.

"Okay."

And just like that you both started to sway along the rhythm, so lost in your world that no one else existed for you two.

"You know what, you always scared me." He admitted, making you giggle.

"Why?" You asked, your head on his chest as he guided you both in a swaying way.

"First, you are Remus's sister, second, you are damn good with your tongue." It took him a while to understand what he said but till you were in a giggling fit. You were laughing so hard that you had to hold him so you wouldn't fall.

"Wait—wait, I didn't mean it like that!" He exclaimed, his hand wrapped around yours which was holding his shoulder. But you couldn't stop laughing, and that resulted in you missing the smile on his face.

When you finally stopped, you looked up to find him waving to someone. Following his gaze, you found a beautiful brunette from Ravenclaw giggling and waving at him.

Something inside you bubbled, whether it was the alcohol in your system or you were actually being brave that time, you nudged his arm and made him look at you.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

His eyes widened at your words, he whipped his head between you and that girl before shaking it violently.

"Merlin, no! She's actually the daughter of one of Mum's friends."

"Oh."

James looked at you and the way your shoulders visibly relaxed at words and your head went between his shoulder and neck, resting there.

"If it makes you feel better, I'm single."

You again, moved your head from his shoulder and this time he found an adorable pout on your lips.

"It doesn't." You said. He raised an eyebrow and said,

"It doesn't?" And you shook your head.

"It's worse actually, because you are so gorgeous that it hurts."

Your eyes fixed at his face, and even intoxicated, you were able to appreciate his beauty. He was gorgeous in every way, he was a good person, he had an aura around him that made everyone around him happy, one of the reasons you hated him, he was beautiful. He was gorgeous. And his eyes, his eyes were enough to make you feel like, sinking, drowning, dying.

"Don't I make you feel happy?"

"You make me feel so happy that it turns back to sadness," your bottom lip jutting out.

"There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have, and you why? Because all my life, I lost so many things that I don't want to hope for what I can't have. And I'm so furious at you for making me feel like this."

James moved his hand and rested it on your cheek, making you look at him, he chuckled.

"It's not funny." You said, removing his hand from your cheek. Again resting on your head on his shoulder.

James kept swaying you both, still processing everything that had happened in such a less amount of time. He was slowly feeling you relax around him, the whole night taking a toll on you.

"Hey, honey, you can't sleep like that." He said lowly to you. When you didn't budge, he nudged your head from his shoulder,

"Don't sleep like that." He said, making a frown take over your lips.

"I'm not asleep, my mind is alive." You grumbled in a sleepy voice. You felt his shoulder shake from the soft laugh escaping his lips, making you look up at him.

James could see the exhaustion and sleep in your eyes and decided that it was about time, you both called it a night.

"Alright, I think it's time you leave."

A frown formed on your lips, removing any traces of the sleepy face that you had. A dramatic sigh left your lips, you said,

"Guess, I have to stumble home to my cats. Alone."

"Y/N, you don't have any cat, and you just need to go to your dorm." James said, too used to these kinds of antics, all because of a certain Gryffindor.

You pouted, moving yourself to hug him and resting your head again on his shoulder.

"But, Remus always takes me with him, whenever I'm drunk."

"Yeah, but I'm not Remus, and he might actually murder me for doing so."

You looked up at him, trying your best to do puppy-dog eyes. Your idea seemed to work as he sighed in defeat.

"Alright, but if Remus kills me in the morning, it will be your fault."

It took time but you both finally reached the Marauders dorm, and there was only one person there. Peter, and he too was sleeping.

James took you and made you sit on one of the beds in the corner. He was still standing over you, looking quite flustered. You ran a hand on the messy bed sheet and looked up at him again to find him filling a glass with water.

"Is this Remus's bed?" You asked.

"Yeah." He said before handing you the glass of water, which you quickly downed and handed him the glass back.

James crouched in front of you and started removing your footwears. You ran a hand through his dark curls and giggled when they got messier than before.

When he was done, he looked up at you, still sitting in the same position, he asked,

"You can sleep here now, Remus will manage, or at least Sirius would be happy to share his bed."

You pouted again at his words, making him frown a bit.

"What happened now?"

"You won't kiss me?" Your question took him by surprise. He didn't expect you to say that.

"What do you mean?"

You tilted your head at side and said,

"You don't like me?" Your voice was small, making him feel bad.

"Is it because of my scars?" Your eyes were slowly filling with tears making James panic. He jumped up and sat beside you, and quickly took your face between his hands. You were slowly sniffing till then, making his heart hurt.

"No darling, why would you think that?"

"My previous boyfriend left me because of that, didn't he?"

James pursued his lips at the thought of your previous boyfriend, remembering how heartbroken you looked that day.

"It's not because of that, love. It's because you are drunk." You scrunched your nose at his words and said,

"Did you just quote those stupid clichè books?"

He raised an eyebrow and said,

"I do remember you loving those cliche books."

"But, I want you to kiss me now." You said while your lower lip jutting out.

"How about, I kiss you in the morning?" He said with a hopeful look on his face.

You whined at his words,

"But James, I am sober enough to remember this."

He sighed in defeat knowing how bad it can get. After a while he said,

"Okay, so I will give you a peck on your forehead right now, then in the morning, I will actually kiss you?" That seemed to work and you quickly agreed. So that night James kissed your forehead and made you fall asleep. And still in your sleepy form, you actually told him how you felt for him,

"You are so gorgeous James."

Bonus:-

When you woke up the next day, you found yourself reliving all those things you did the night before and it certainly didn't help with your headache. You got up from the bed, trying your best to escape before things could get more awkward.

You almost reached the door when someone said your name,

"Y/N?"

You cringed, totally aware of the person to whom the voice belonged.

You turned around and came face to face with your worst fear. You opened your mouth to say something but he cut you off,

"Don't worry, everyone is downstairs. You were sleeping, so I thought it would be better to leave you. I didn't want you to commit an arson as soon as you woke, I have seen the way Moony gets if you wake him up early."

Suddenly there was an awkward silence settled between you two as there was nothing else to say. You clutched your head to stop the throbbing pain in your head.

James noticed this and made you sit on his bed. When you did, he took the spot beside you and handed you a vial. You looked at him confused, the he explained,

"Hangover potion, er—we kind of need it really often." He rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. You tried to stop the smile forming on your face and drank the potion.

"Y/N?" He asked, his voice soft, full of warmth. You hummed, your heart beating wildly in your chest.

"Did you mean everything you said last night?"

You turned to face him, only then realising how close you two were. You started feeling lost again in his eyes, so you just hummed.

"Even about the kiss?" He whispered.

"Even about the kiss." And just like that his lips were on yours, moving gently and slowly, afraid that this moment might get lost if used in heat.

Your lips parted after what felt like an eternity, but even that didn't seem enough. He rested his forehead on yours then he said,

"You are so gorgeous, my love."

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crossovereddie · 3 years

Note

Hey there I've been seeing a lot of headcanons that all revolve around Ediie pining. Just wanna wrap my head around why people think it would be Eddie?? Imo Buck has been pining since he first saw Eddie hug Christopher in the earthquake ep. Thoughts please??

Hey! This is a really good question and I’m probably gonna ramble a lot sorry in advance lol

So I can obviously only speak for my myself and from what I’ve see and interpreted other people’s posts.

I was very pining buck as well up until 4x14. That hospital scene changed everything for me and that’s also when people started to be very vocal about pining Eddie. There had been some pining Eddie vibes in the treasure hunt episode too so let me talk about that before I jump into 4x14.

Eddie is clearly jealous of Taylor in treasure hunt at least to me he is. He’s put off by buck teaming up with her first. He’s making comments the whole time they’re planning. He’s side eyeing her and buck. For the first time he doesn’t have bucks full attention and he clearly hates it. We all made jokes and were living for it.

Then there was the scene with Carla in 4x13(Or was it 11? I don’t remember which episode someone correct me if I’m wrong) where she asks if Eddie’s following his heart then he looks at ana with Chris and when he looks away his face falls. Those were hints that something is different. Like I watched those scenes and was like “hmm...could this be? Am I just over analyzing?”.

But for me there was an obvious shift in Eddie during 4x14. The hospital scene happened and my first thoughts were “holy shit Eddie knows”. I never expected him to be the one pining but it makes sense. Maybe buck did realize earlier but didn’t think he had a chance so just kinda didn’t let himself go there. I think there’s a big possibility he could be completely oblivious to Eddie’s feelings. Buck doesn’t think very highly of himself and Eddie is trying to change his mindset by saying “look. I trust YOU with my son. My everything. You mean so much more than you think”. By entrusting Chris with Buck, Eddie is letting him (and us the audience) know that Buck is his family. Chris and Buck are the two most important people in the world to Eddie. More important than his parents, than his immediate family, than every single other member of his blood family, than every single member of his found family (even Bobby who is a father figure now), than Carla (who already watches Chris so he trusts her right?), and more important than his girlfriend. Before Buck walks in Eddie is sitting on the bed looking lost in thought. He’s thinking about Buck and how he needs to tell him. Needs to show him how important he is to Eddie. I really think Eddie knows and has accepted his feelings for buck are way more than bro-y platonic love.

Then buck gets a gf and Eddie still hasn’t broken up with his (but I don’t think that’s lasting any longer if they already haven’t broken up off screen or in a flashback). So we have Buck finally dating someone and Eddie being single and ready to make Buck a more permanent romantic member of his little family but not being able to do so because Buck’s happiness is the more important to Eddie than his own (he always puts others feelings before his own). Cue pining Eddie loving Buck but refusing to get in the way of what he thinks buck wants.

#911onfox #buddie #pining Eddie #Eddie diaz

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wlntrsldler · 3 years

Text

champagne problems (s.b one shot)

PROMPT: based on champagne problems by taylor swift. Y/N leaves to protect her family and Sirius waits for her.

WARNINGS: mentions of death, death, angst, fluff?

WC: 2.2K+

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST

champagne problems (s.b one shot)

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Sirius whispered, scared of the situation in front of him. You’d been distant all day, as if something was bothering you. With Sirius, you were always so carefree and at ease because he knew exactly how to make you feel better, but this time, it seemed Sirius was at a loss.

You refused to look at him. He felt his heart shattering every time he called for you and he got no response. He tried to be patient and not push you, knowing your stubbornness rivaled his. So he sat quietly and let your mind wander off into new places as he watched you slip away from him— until finally, he could bear it no longer.

“Sirius,” you sighed, using all your power to push yourself further away from him. You held a hand up, keeping him at an arm’s distance as he tried to get closer, “I have to leave.”

His eyebrows furrowed, a look of genuine confusion etched on his face, “What?”

“I have to go,” your voice betrayed you, cracking in mid sentence as you tried to explain why you had to leave. “I’m muggleborn. After the McKinnons…. They’ll try to take my family next, I know it. Sirius, you have to understand.”

“I can help protect them,” he rebutted, eyes darting everywhere, as if trying to figure out how he would do that. “We can do this together, you know? I’m getting better and better everyday since Hogwarts, Y/N. We’ll put up protective charms a-and we can fight. Yeah, we’ll fight—”

“This isn’t your fight, Sirius,” you explained, wiping your tears, “You have your own family to protect. Moony, Peter, The Potters! James and Lily and young Harry! The Order needs you, Sirius. I can’t take you away from your duties.”

He shook his head, hair already messy from his constant tugging, “You’re my family, too! I don’t understand why I can’t help you.”

“I could never forgive myself if something happened to you because you were trying to protect me and my family.”

“And I could never forgive myself if something happened to you! Especially knowing I could’ve helped!” Sirius exclaimed, his calm demeanor long gone. He wasn’t yelling at you, but his voice significantly picked up volume as the conversation progressed. His eyes were red, lips severely bitten as he pleaded his case. “I don’t understand why you have to go! They’re okay, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Sirius, you’re not listening to me!”

“No, you’re not listening to me!” he replied, marching over to you. He held you by your shoulders, looking at you straight in the eyes, “You… You can’t leave, Y/N. Not right now, not ever. We already lost Marlene and the Prewetts and Godric, if I lost you— If I lost you, I wouldn’t know what to do. We’ll put your family under protective custody and we’ll make sure they don’t touch them, you hear me? But you are not going off by yourself.”

“Sirius, I can’t have you pulling strings for me. The Order needs people here. They need people to fight. I’m expendable, Sirius, don’t you understand? Nobody is going out there to protect muggles. No one.” You held his face in your hands, leaving soft kisses on his skin. He closed his eyes, crying brokenly. You continued, “I have to go, Sirius. You need to stay here. They need you, Sirius Black.”

“What about what I need?” he whispered, gripping your waist. He showed no signs of letting you go. In fact, his grip on your waist tightened, afraid that one falter in his movements, you’d walk away. He wasn’t ready. “I need you.”

You knew then that Sirius understood why you had to go. If the Potters were ever in danger, he’d drop everything to make sure they were safe. Although he wasn’t Euphemia’s and Fleamont’s son by blood, they treated him like he was. You grew up with a loving family— one that Sirius longed for and finally got after meeting young James Potter on the train in their first year, and Sirius knew you had to go. But it didn’t make it any easier on him.

He opened his heart to you, and there was not a day since that he regretted doing so. He was broken and bruised and for a while, he thought he was incapable of accepting love that didn’t come from the Marauders or the Potters. You came along in his fourth year, trailing behind Lily Evans who was asking Remus for some help on Transfigurations, and you beamed at him with that sunshine smile and he was done for.

Sirius fell for you, hard and quick. He was in love with you before you even entertained the idea of Sirius Black in your life. Growing up, he yearned to be loved by someone and he never thought that the mere idea of falling in love with someone like you would feel just as good as feeling that love he craved. You had such a big heart, Sirius knew that but a part of him still thought there was no space in there for him. As pathetic as it sounded (Remus’ words— though he said it with a small smile tugging on his lips), Sirius would’ve been okay with that because to him, it was an honor all on its own to love you, even if it wasn’t reciprocated.

The day you told him you loved him, all the heartache and pain that young Sirius Black endured all his years suddenly felt like nothing. Sure, the trauma and the hurt will always leave their mark on him, but now, once those words left your lips, Sirius Black knew that he would be okay. He had you.

Sirius spoke again, “Y/N, this is probably the worst time to do this but I never had good timing, did I?”

“Siri,” you whispered, gasping into your palms as he kneeled down on one knee.

“I don’t have a ring. Uh, the Black family has a ring we pass down every generation but obviously, I was not blessed with such,” he chuckled, playing with your fingers. “I may not have a ring but I have my love and I’m hoping that will suffice for now. Y/N Y/L/N, will you marry me?”

Nodding your head furiously, you mumbled a shaky, “Yes.”

Sirius laughed, getting up on his feet to twirl you around your living room. He buried his head in your hair, wanting to memorize your scent. He kissed your neck softly, muttering his undying love and affection. He spun you around until you were both too dizzy to stand and you collapsed on top of him on your couch.

You giggled, tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. You rubbed your thumb across his cheekbone, kissing the tip of his nose, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he replied, “I promise when you get back, I will put a ring on your finger.”

When you get back.

“When I get back,” you confirmed.

James whistled, inspecting the ring in the box, “Blimey, Padfoot. This is beautiful!”

Sirius smiled proudly, eyes gleaming with excitement as his friend examined the ring he picked out for you. Since you left four months ago, he went on a hunt for the perfect ring, “Thanks, Prongs.”

“She’ll love it,” Remus added, putting down the newspaper that he was reading, “When is she coming back?”

“When it’s safe enough, I suppose. That’s why we have to win this war, gentlemen. I would like to see my fiance as soon as possible.”

Lily laughed, holding Harry by her heart, “I would also like to see my best friend soon. Harry also does miss his Godmother.”

“He babbles her name whenever he sees the stuffed lion she got him,” James added, getting up to wrap his arms around Lily. The picture perfect family looked so happy to be with each other. It almost made the other two boys in the room forget what was going on outside the doors of their home.

Sirius got up to take Harry from Lily, rocking the baby back and forth as he smiled fondly at his Godfather, “I miss her too, Bambi. We’ll see her soon, yeah?”

Harry made some baby noises, laughing with his chest as Sirius pulled funny faces. He couldn’t help but think about how nice it would be to have one with you. Remus popped his head over Sirius’ shoulder to watch the baby and Harry immediately made grabby hands at Remus. Sirius passed him over to his best friend and sat back down on the Potters’ couch. He picked up the box that James left on the table and stared at it lovingly.

Then, a bright light entered the room, startling all its occupants. A patronus.

It was a black dog, one that mirrored Padfoot, and it ran around the room before stopping right in front of Sirius. Lily ran to Remus and grabbed a hold of Harry, who buried his head into the crook of his mother’s neck. James rushed over to his family, wrapping a protective arm around the two. Remus stood there, stunned.

Sirius knew it was your patronus.

Before anyone could make another move, your voice rang in the room.

“Sirius,” you gasped, sounding out of breath. There was chaos in the background, he could hear it. His heart dropped to his stomach. No.

“Sirius,” your patronus said again. “They’re here. There’s too many of them and— Sirius…”

“No,” his eyes were wide. Remus placed a hand on his shoulder but he couldn’t feel it. Lily looked away, hiding into James’ chest. Harry began to hiccup.

“Sirius, I love you. I love you so much. So so much.”

Then the black dog disappeared. The silence was eerie, even young Harry stopped his noises. Sirius dropped the ring, falling to the ground right after it.

Remus kneeled down, holding him up, “Padfoot…”

“We have to go,” he breathed out, not looking at anyone in the eye. He faced straight ahead, his mind spinning too quickly for him to make sense of his thoughts. Sirius began to breathe unevenly, clutching his chest like it might burst.

“Okay, Pads,” James nodded. He looked at Lily for confirmation. She tipped her head, holding Harry even closer than before. She knew.

Without another word, the three boys apparated straight to your old home. Sirius promised to you that he would never try to visit you or check up on you until the war was finished, afraid for his safety and yours. But he had to break his promise.

When they arrived, the house seemed empty. Nothing seemed out of place until he walked into the kitchen and saw your parents on the floor, unmoving. Sirius paled as he looked up at the ceiling and saw the symbol of the Dark Lord and his followers etched upon it. He ran up the stairs, tripping over the steps and his feet, bracing himself for what he already knew.

The door to your bedroom was opened a tiny bit. It was large enough for Sirius to slide his foot in and open completely. He stood still.

Sirius could hear the rushed footsteps of his two best friends chasing after him up the stairs. When they reached the final one, they stood behind Sirius, a gasp leaving their lips. The two boys began to cry quietly.

James placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder, “I’m so sorry, Padfoot.”

Sirius knew his friends were crying. After years of living with them, he knew the tone of their voice when they cried. He learned that. He knew that he should’ve been crying too because it hurt so bad. It felt like his heart was ripped out of his body and discarded but Sirius decided that not even that would hurt as much as the image of you lying lifelessly on the floor in front of him. He couldn’t cry. He couldn’t feel anything.

He walked closer to you, ignoring the howling of the wind coming from the broken window to his left. He stepped over the items knocked down by the fight. He was walking so slowly, afraid that if he were to come any closer, it would suddenly become too real. As much as he dreaded to get too close to you, he finally did.

Sirius clenched his jaw, a rush of cold air washing over his body. He stared at your face, remembering the color of your eyes and the happiness that once occupied it. He leaned over to shut your eyelids, not wanting the gray clouds in your irises to overtake the happy memories he had saved in his mind. His eyes trailed down to your left hand that rested on your chest, black, veiny lines growing on your skin. You used it to try to block the curse from hitting your heart. Sirius stared at your unmoving, bare ring finger.

It wasn’t until Sirius looked down at your stomach did he finally fall to his knees. He sobbed over your body, still warm from the impact, with a loving hand on top of your once growing belly.

**NO LONGER DOING GENERAL TAGS BUT THESE PEOPLE EXPRESSED INTEREST

@vereseg @teenagesublimefan @whoreforfredweasley

read the james version here

#frances writes #frances song fics #frances x taylor swift x harry potter #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfic #harry potter imagine #harry potter oneshot #Sirius Black #sirius black one shot #sirius black imagine #sirius black x reader #sirius black x yn #sirius black x y/n #James Potter #Remus Lupin #lily evans

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starbornvalkyrie · 3 years

Text

paper rings [a nessian one-shot]

a/n: hey besties!! here’s some fluff for this fine saturday. i wrote this for my mate, my besta @vanserrasvalkyrie bc i love her to death and she deserves everything. i wrote this based on paper rings by taylor swift. enjoy!

acotar masterlist || masterlist of masterlists

When the sunlight hit his face, Cassian stretched with a groan and reached for his girlfriend. Girlfriend. Three years and he was still shocked that was the title he could call Nesta Archeron. When they met all those years ago, he could have sworn she hated him. He thought it might have been his high clouding his mind but no.

Nesta gave him the cold shoulder every time they hung out, though he never failed to sense her eyes on him when they were out with his friends. There was something about Nesta that always drew him to her. Some sort of gravitational pull that made her irresistible--even as she pushed him away.

Cassian frowned when he found that the other side of the bed was cold, his girlfriend long gone for the day. Blinking slowly, he wondered if she told him what she was up to today. Not that she needs to, but she usually gives him a heads up. His thoughts were pulled away when his phone chimed.

A single text message from Nesta read, Morning, babe. I’m out running errands with Feyre today. I’ll see you later. Xx

Cassian couldn’t help the grin that formed on his lips at her use of the word babe, and he used that energy to get out of bed and prepare for the day. The day that he hopes will bring him one step closer to calling Nesta his wife.

He dialed Rhys, putting the phone to his ear as he fastened his watch around his wrist. He smiled fondly at it, remembering the day Nesta gave it to him saying, “Your old watch is too loud. Use this.”

Rhys answered on the last ring with a labored, “Hello?” followed by a female yelp and giggle. His brother shushed her, but Cassian’s brows furrowed.

“Is that Feyre?”

Rhys cleared his throat, “Yeah, of course, why?”

“I just thought…” He trailed off. “Nevermind, brother. Is everything still set for tonight?”

He could practically hear Rhys rolling his eyes when he replied, “Yes, brother, we’ve been over it a thousand times. It’s going to be great.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll leave you two to… whatever I interrupted.” Cassian almost gagged hearing Rhys’ stifled groan of a goodbye as he hung up, patting his jacket pocket to feel for the ring one more time. He was about to grab his keys when he noticed a note on their side table, the elegant script telling him who left it. Smiling, he picked it up and read.

Cassian,

Do you remember the night we first met? I remember it vividly, probably because I wasn’t as stoned as you. But what I haven’t told you is that I went home and stalked you on the internet. Full on FBI mode. If you tell anyone, I will not hesitate to kill you. Sometimes I think about how I tried so hard to learn every detail I could about you without actually talking to you, but now I feel like I know more than I should.

We’ve shared a lot these past three years, and I have to say that one of my favorite hobbies to share with you is reading. The days we spend wasting away in bed reading side by side are the days I hope we will continue to share for the foreseeable future. While they aren’t my favorite, I do enjoy the war novels and thrillers you keep beside your bed. I think I’ve read all of them by now.

I skimmed Catch 22 this morning and was particularly intrigued by page 143.

It wasn’t signed, but Nesta’s perfume lingered on the page, igniting Cassian’s senses. The memories she wrote of came to the forefront of his mind. She was shy at first, not wanting him to know the sort of books she enjoyed reading with her friends. But one night he snuck one off her nightstand. Needless to say, they’ve had their fair share of experimentation based on a few of her novels. And when she read his books and talked excitedly with him, he thought he’d propose on the spot.

Cassian rushed to his bedside table and, sure enough, Catch 22 is on top. He flipped to the page she mentioned. Another note fell out along with a blue paint swatch. The color looked familiar, but he couldn’t figure out where he knew it from. Shrugging, he read the note.

Cassian,

Do you remember when Azriel made us all help him paint his room? My favorite memory of that day was the fact that there was more paint on us and our friends than there was on the walls. You, of course, had the brilliant idea of jumping into the pool of Az’s apartment complex. At 8PM. On a January evening. No one wanted to join you, for obvious reasons. I still think you’re an idiot for suggesting it. I still think you’re an idiot for actually doing it.

But then again, I followed. You may have jumped first, but I went in, too. I will always follow you, Cass, to the ends of the earth.

Will you follow me, too?

Yes. One hundred percent, yes. Cassian would follow Nesta to the ends of the earth and back. He’d slay dragons for her or just sit back while she conquered them herself. He couldn’t think of a time when his world didn’t revolve around Nesta. While they played games of cat and mouse when they first met, it was always Nesta. For him, he would always follow Nesta.

Will you follow me, too? He absolutely would. There were no other directions on the note, but Cassian knew exactly where he needed to go. Carefully folding the notes, he placed them in his pocket next to the ring. Giving the pocket another pat, he grabbed the keys to his truck and made his way through town. Azriel moved out long ago to live with his girlfriend, but Cassian still knew how to get to his old apartment complex.

That night was one of the best nights of Cassian’s life, but not for the reasons Nesta might be thinking. It was fun, definitely, swimming in that freezing pool, alcohol the only reason they didn’t feel the icy bite of the water. But that was the first night Nesta laughed and smiled with only him. Sure, before then, he had seen her radiant smile and heard her mesmerizing laugh with their friends. But with no one else around them in the pool, Cassian had relished in the fact that he was the reason for her happiness. It was the first time he had dared to hope for something more.

The apartment complex wasn’t gated, so Cassian drove right in, straight to the clubhouse pool. He hopped out of his truck, leaving it running idle, as he searched the area. He searched the chaise lounge chairs and tables but only saw a towel and duffel bag that someone left behind. He walked the perimeter of the pool itself. Still nothing. Did he get it wrong? Was he supposed to go somewhere else? Confused and frustrated, Cassian was about to give up when something at the bottom of the pool caught his eye: a ziploc bag anchored by a can of paint.

“You have got to be kidding me, Nes,” he mumbled to himself. Cassian went back to inspect the duffel bag, cursing his cruel girlfriend the whole way. When he unzipped the bag, a note was on top. Have fun getting wet, was all it said. Underneath was a pair of Cassian’s swim trunks and an extra pair of clothes. Accepting his fate, he changed in the restroom, and dove into the pool.

Pulling the paint can--the same color they painted Az’s room--to the surface was harder than he thought it would be, but eventually he was sitting on the edge of the pool, feet dangling in the water that was a lot warmer than it was that night. Shaking the moisture from the bag and his hands, he took out the note, slightly shorter than the rest. Nesta knows he’d be impatient and nearly irritable by now, and he loved her even more for thinking about that detail.

Nice day for a swim, right? I wish I could have been there to see it, but don’t worry, I’ll have you wet and shirtless in no time later. But in all seriousness, I had a lot of fun that night. Getting to know you better in the pool is one of the highlights of our relationship and it’s something I will never forget.

But let’s go back to the beginning. Meet me in the place it all began. I’ll always be waiting for you.

Cassian grinned and pushed himself up to dry off and change. He grabbed the clothes Nesta packed for him, pleased to know she knew his style, and meticulously transferred the small box from his jacket pocket to the front of his jeans.

Knowing exactly where to go, Cassian made his way to meet his future wife.

---

Nesta waited nervously on the dock of a lake just outside of Velaris. She clutched the final envelope in her hands, reminding herself every few minutes not to ruin it. She sat on a blanket, a basket filled with Cassian’s favorite foods. She tried to push doubt from snaking its way into her brain, but she couldn’t help it.

She had been dropping hints to Cassian for months now but to no avail. After Rhys proposed to Feyre six months ago, Nesta felt that tug in her heart that told her she was ready. She practically told Cassian as much. She made it a point to talk about Feyre’s wedding prep every day, asking what he would want if he was in their position. She even went as far as showing him rings.

But Cassian hasn’t made a single move. Nesta knows he loves her, but does he not see her as wife material? Does he only love her for now? Nesta didn’t think so, and she didn’t let herself believe that, but the seed of doubt is still there, waiting to grow. To counteract the doubt, she decided to take things into her own hands.

Hence the basket and the notes.

Her phone chimed with a text from Az telling her that Cassian just jumped into the pool. He got it on video. She laughed and asked him to let her know when Cassian left the apartment complex. While all of their friends were in on the event, Azriel was the only one she trusted to trail Cassian without being caught. Everyone else was tasked to decorate their apartment for a party after Cassian left on her scavenger hunt.

Nesta stood as she heard the sound of tires on gravel and braced herself as she watched Cassian step out of his truck and make his way towards her. Much to her amusement, she realized his hair was still a little damp from his impromptu swim, but he was also wearing the jeans and button down shirt she had packed for him as well. Nesta still counted herself lucky, praying to the Cauldron every day that this was the man that crashed into her life all those years ago.

Cassian stopped in front of her, surveying her from head to toe. His gaze sent shivers down her spine, but she stayed still as he scanned her set up on the dock, a smile gracing his lips as he most likely remembered what they’ve done out here. Multiple times.

Finally, he turned back to her and greeted her, “Hi, Nes.”

“Hey,” she said, voice low.

“What is all this?” He started to move towards her, but she held up her hand, nerves getting the best of her.

“I-- uh, we’ll get to that. But first,” she held up the note she held in her hand. “Last one.”

This time, he did step closer to her, but didn’t touch her yet. Ever observant, he knew she needed her space right now while her nerves went haywire. He stopped just in front of her, though, and asked, “Will you read it to me?”

Nesta’s eyes went wide, scanning the hazel ones she’d come to love so much. She saw only love and a hint of amusement staring back at her, so she whispered, “Okay,” and opened the envelope. With a few deep breaths, she began to read.

“Cassian. My best friend, my love. The biggest brute on the planet.

I don’t know how else to put this, but when I think about who I was when we first met, I can’t help but feel that I fell in love with you by accident. Don’t get me wrong, I am so glad that I did. But you know me, I hate accidents. I hate when things don’t go the way I want them to. And that’s you in a nutshell. I never know what’s going to happen, but I’m here for it, along for the ride for the rest of my life.

You know my past better than anyone else, even my sisters. All of the things that happened with Tomas… if none of that had happened, I wouldn’t have found you. I can even say I’m thankful for your past girlfriends, knowing that you wouldn’t be the man I know without them. We may fight, we may not be perfect, but that doesn’t stop me from loving you and hoping you love me in return.

Because I want it all, Cassian. I want you and all the complications you may come with. I want to kiss you randomly just because I can. I want to brighten your dreary Mondays, for you to wrap your arms around me while I cook, and everything in between.

You’re the one I want, Cass, in any way you’ll have me. Picture frames, dirty dreams, you name it.”

Nesta paused, steadying herself for the next part. She wiped the tears that started to fall from her eyes as she read. When she looked at Cassian, she could see the silver lining his own eyes as he gave her a watery smile. The smile she can’t imagine living without ever again. Steeling herself, she asked, “Are you going to make me do the knee thing?”

The corner of Cassian’s mouth turned up higher at that, decorating his face with that smirk that’s gotten him into so much trouble in the past. “You know how I like to see you on your knees in front of me, Nes,” he teased, making Nesta’s heart stutter.

“Brute,” she mumbled. “Fine.” Nesta adjusted her dress as she got down on one knee, holding the note in her palms. “I know this isn’t a shiny ring or anything fancy, but I don’t need any of that. I only need you, Cass. You’re the one I want until we’re taken to the next life and every moment after that as well. Will you marry me?”

Cassian hesitated for only a split second before he was on his knees in front of her, her face in his hands. “You stole my thunder,” he accused, his voice playful. When Nesta only stared at him with a cocked brow, he chuckled. She watched as he reached into his jean pocket and pulled out a small velvet, black box. Nesta couldn’t contain her gasp as he opened it to reveal a perfectly cut ruby set on a simple silver band. “You’re the only one for me, Nes. You’ve always been the only one for me.”

Nesta stared at the ring. “Cass…” she whispered.

“Are you sure you don’t want the shiny things? I can return this…”

“Don’t you dare,” she snapped. “Ring me.” Nesta stuck her left hand in Cassian’s face. He laughed but removed the ring from the box to slip it onto her ring finger.

They both watched in silence, the air buzzing with anticipation, as Cassian pushed the ring past her first knuckle then the second. Until it metaphorically clicked into place at the bottom of her finger.

A perfect fit.

Nesta launched herself at Cassian, tackling him to the deck with a searing kiss. Her heart thundered wildly, their tongues tangling as the words engaged, fiance, and future husband played on repeat in her mind like her favorite song. She pulled back to look down at her best friend, her everything, his eyes shining right back at her.

“I love you, Nes,” he said, voice low but thick with emotion.

“Until the end of time,” she replied with another kiss.

---

Thanks for reading! If you’d like to be added to/taken off my general SJM tag list just send me an ask and be sure to include the fandom! i’m very good at losing them in the comments. love y’all!

@maddymelv || @lucy617 || @tillyrubes10 || @faerie-queen-fireheart || @tottenhamboys20 || @the-third-me || @superspiritfestival || @rolltide7 || @courtofjurdan || @sleeping-and-books || @aelinchocolatelover || @julemmaes || @sorrehnotsorryy || @acourtofaelinbryceandfeyre || @darlinminds || @lucieisabooknerd || @queen-of-glass || @jlinez || @abookishfreak || @stardelia || @ladywitchling || @rockgirl321 || @sjmships || @thewayshedreamed || @mamakramer || @meowsekai || @vanserrasvalkyrie || @sanakapoor || @ireallyshouldsleeprn || @over300books || @marvuders || @silentquartz || @theoceanfaewriter || @more-espresso-less-depresso-xx || @cassianscool || @danaanruhn || @fuzzypineapples-blog || @dawninlatin || @thegoddessofyou || @chieflemming || @star-books-snow || @alinaleksanders || @rowaelinismyotp || @swankii-art-teacher || @perseusannabeth || @chloepereyra || @patelkhushin

#nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acotar fanfic #fluff #nessian fanfic #fanfiction #usermegs

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somebodycall911onabc · 3 years

Text

A Space Already Taken

Ep4x12 Buddie ficlet (not really any spoilers for season 4).

Read on AO3

Buck can take a hint. Particularly when it comes to romance and attraction—he knows when someone wants him and he knows when to make a move. Honestly, at this point he’s had so much practice charming people into bed that he could teach a class on it. One Night Stands 101 or something.

Which is why Taylor Kelly confuses the hell out of him.

Since the treasure hunting incident, she’s backed away from him three times. She’ll lean in close, lower her voice, flutter her eyelashes, brush her hair behind her ear…

And then lean away! Buck is losing his mind.

So when she does it again, when they’re at his apartment after a dinner Buck cooked for them, leaning against each other on the floor in front of the couch, Buck sighs out,

“Taylor, what are we doing?”

She’d turned away from him already, faked a laugh over some conversation they’d been having (i.e., she’d been having while Buck was getting lost in her eyes), but at his words she freezes.

Slowly, like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar, she turns back toward him. The expression on her face is familiar. He’d seen it on Abby a lot, near the end. And Ali.

It’s regret.

“My bad,” Buck says hastily, holding up his hands, “Sorry. If I’ve been, you know, pushy about it.”

Taylor bites her lip.

“I’m sorry, Buck,” she says. “If we weren’t friends then… yeah, a tumble would be fun. But we are. And it gets… messy.”

“I would have thought you’d be kind of into a friends with benefits situation,” Buck says, non-judgemental. “Don’t have to waste time on romance or relationships, you know?”

“I don’t have an issue with it,” Taylor corrects. “But you would.”

“Me?” Buck says, surprised. “Most of my relationships have been no-strings-attached ones.”

“Yeah…” Taylor says gently. “But that’s not you anymore. You know I’m right. You want romance, Buck. You want marriage and kids and love. Real love. And you deserve it. Which is exactly why you shouldn’t waste your time on me.”

“That’s bullshit,” Buck protests, but his heart is sinking because, well, she’s right.

Taylor shakes her head. “I can’t give you those things, Buck. I’m not sure they’re what I even want. Love, yes. But the rest of it?”

“Who says we need to figure it out now? Who says we can’t give it a shot and see where it goes?”

“Because I don’t have all that many friends,” Taylor admits. “And I don’t want to lose one over something stupid like a lack of self-restraint.”

“Who says you’ll lose me?” Buck asks, grasping at straws now. “You keep talking like you can predict everything, like the future’s already set in stone. But from what I’ve seen, the future’s pretty fucking unpredictable.”

“Buck,” Taylor says, swaying close to lay a hand on his cheek, “even if I did love you as more than a friend, I wouldn’t be able to hold a candle to Eddie.”

Buck feels the world stop turning. For just a second. Stalled on its axis like a wind-up toy that reached the end of its mechanical loop.

“Oh, Buck,” Taylor says, pulling her hand away. “C’mon. You revolve around him like he’s the fucking sun.”

“No, I…” Buck shakes his head like a dog dispelling water from its fur. “We’re friends. Brothers. I love him, yeah, but not like…”

“Brothers don’t look at each other the way you two look at each other.”

Buck’s palms are sweating. “Look at each other… how?”

Taylor gives him a long look, somewhere between disbelief and pity.

She says, “like they want to devour each other whole.”

Buck doesn’t sleep that night.

Taylor left with a kiss to his cheek and an open invitation to call her therapist—not her, she made abundantly clear, because she’d done enough to help Buck through the ensuing emotional crisis over the next three hours and two bottles of wine. But Buck just stares up at the ceiling and relives every moment he can recall about Eddie.

And there’s… a lot to get through.

Eddie smiling as Chris reads out a poem he wrote for class.

Eddie concentrated and intense, fists raised as he efficiently and elegantly attacks the punching bag at the station.

Eddie lying pale and cold in the hospital bed after nearly drowning, Buck gripping his hand and thanking every God he can think of that he won’t have to tell Chris he lost another parent.

Eddie’s eyes, warm on his, smiling that conspiratorial smile he saves just for Buck, that makes Buck feel like he’s swallowed the sun.

And Buck realizes that, on some level, he’s always known. He’s never felt this way about anyone. Like the world glows a little brighter when Eddie’s around, like his heart is a skipping record every time Eddie touches him.

He can’t remember a time when it didn’t feel like this.

Buck throws off the covers and stomps down the stairs, grabbing his keys from the kitchen counter on his way out the door.

The drive to Eddie’s is full of white noise and Buck’s memories.

“Real funny, Buck.”

“I know you did.”

“You could have my back any day.”

“Buck, there’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.”

Buck finds himself at Eddie’s door, the porch light flickering on as it senses him. He thinks about knocking, but he doesn’t want to wake Chris, so he pulls out his phone and texts Eddie.

Within a minute, Buck hears noise from inside the house. Eddie’s always been a light sleeper. He makes it to the door three minutes after Buck texts him, ‘I’m outside.’

It’s enough time for Buck to shiver a little at the cold night air, realize he’d put on two different shoes, and chicken out.

Eddie swings open the door and blinks at Buck, a tiny frown on his face.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, stepping aside so that Buck can come in.

Buck curses internally while he toes off his mismatched shoes. “Nothing. I… I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Not your leg, is it?” Eddie asks, making his way down the hallway to the living room. Buck’s heartbeat kicks up, because here’s Eddie sleep-rumpled at four in the morning, opening his door to Buck and worrying about an injury from two years ago.

Buck never had a chance, did he?

“No,” Buck replies, following Eddie onto the couch. “Not the leg.”

Eddie fixes his eyes on Buck and gives him a long, assessing look. Unlike Taylor, Eddie’s gaze is tinged with concern and sympathy.

“This about Taylor Kelly?” He asks, eyes narrowing.

“Jesus,” Buck mutters. “What is it with you two reading my mind lately?”

“You’re just an open book, Buck,” Eddie says, fighting a yawn. “Not much to it. What happened?”

“She just… turned me down,” Buck says with a shrug. He can’t bring himself to feel that bad about it.

“And you’re… upset?” Eddie asks, because of course he can tell that’s not what Buck is really here about.

“No,” Buck admits. “Not really.”

“What is it then?” Eddie asks. And the way he says it, so patiently, resting his cheek against his fist as he sits sideways on the couch to face Buck, breaks something down inside him.

“It’s just…” Buck picks at a loose thread on his jeans. “I just wonder when someone is going to look at me and like… want me. When someone is finally going to love me back.”

The room goes still, like it’s holding its breath the same way Buck and Eddie are. Buck can’t bring himself to look up at whatever expression is on Eddie’s face.

Eddie breathes out. In barely more than a whisper, he says, “I do.”

Buck’s vision goes white for a moment.

His voice cracks as he says, “what?”

“I love you,” Eddie says, firmer now. He’s committed to it. That’s how Eddie is. He doesn’t back down. Buck’s always admired that about him.

“You… but… Ana?” Buck splutters, staring sightlessly down at his own hands, which have fallen still in his lap.

Eddie lets out a hollow-sounding laugh. “Ana broke up with me,” he says.

“What?”

“A few weeks ago, actually. Says I wasn’t trusting enough. That I didn’t really want her in mine and Chris’s lives. She wasn’t wrong.”

“No?” Buck feels like he’s breathing underwater, like there’s no air in the entire goddamn universe.

“Because I already have you,” Eddie says. “Hard to fill a place that’s already taken.”

Buck is horrified to feel a tear slide down his cheek. Jesus, he’s a mess. Eddie’s in love with this?

“Hey,” Eddie says, reaching over to lay a hand on Buck’s shoulder. Buck feels his tell-tale heart skip a beat. “Buck, you alright?”

“I just found out my best friend is in love with me,” Buck chokes out, “after realizing that I’ve been in love with him for years. Give me a minute.”

Eddie doesn’t.

He reaches a hand over to Buck’s jaw, turning Buck to face him. Eddie’s smile is ecstatic, radiant, like someone just told him every Hildy product in the world had been destroyed.

“That so?” He says, his other hand slipping over Buck’s shoulder and down his back, bringing them close. Close enough that their noses are practically touching.

“Yeah,” Buck says.

He can take a hint. He knows when someone wants him. He knows when to make a move.

But when Eddie kisses him, it takes Buck completely and wholly by surprise. Because apparently Buck is hopeless when it comes to love.

Eddie pulls away and Buck chases him with lips and hands and muttered pleas. Eddie breathes a laugh against his lips and Buck wants to feel that every day for the rest of his life.

“I love you,” Eddie says, “so goddamn much.”

“I love you, too,” Buck echoes, feeling warm and soft inside and out. Like he’s incandescent.

“Good,” Eddie says, kissing Buck on the nose, which makes him feel like his bones have turned to jelly. “Can we go the fuck to sleep, then?”

Buck laughs. “I’ll try to save my earth-shattering realizations for daytime from now on,” he says.

“Please do. I’d hate to have to kill you before the wedding.”

“Wedding?” Buck asks, laughing again.

“M’serious,” Eddie protests, rubbing his nose against Buck’s cheek. “I’m going to marry you, Buck. I’d ask you now, but the ring’s in my nightstand.”

“Bullshit.”

Eddie presses his smile to Buck’s. “Why don’t you come to bed and find out?”

Turns out, Eddie does have a ring. It’s black and polished metal that he shyly admits he bought more than a year ago.

“Wasn’t that during the lawsuit?” Buck asks, admiring the ring on his finger. “Weren’t we not talking then?”

“Why’d you think I was so mad at you?” Eddie says, eyes closed, laying back against the pillows. He’s got one arm wrapped around Buck’s waist. “Mad at myself too, ‘cause I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wasn’t ready. I didn’t think you could ever… I didn’t think you felt the same.”

“Guess tonight was a surprise, huh?”

Eddie slides his hand up to twine his fingers with Buck’s, brushing his thumb over the ring on Buck’s hand.

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees. “Life likes to throw me curveballs, I guess.”

“Excuse you,” Buck says, settling down into the curve of Eddie’s arm. “I’m not a curveball.”

“Sure you are,” Eddie says. “But I love you anyway.”

Buck rests his cheek on Eddie’s chest, closing his eyes. “I’m gonna have to send Taylor a thank you card.”

Eddie snorts. “Go to sleep, Buck.”

Buck, smiling to himself, does. After all, they’ve got a pretty big day ahead of them. Starting with Christopher.

#buddie #long post #ray writes

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descendantstidalage · 3 years

Text

Lorictober 2021 Day 2: Graves

There isn’t much of a grave for Five. Einar supposed it made sense; Five was considered a traitor by the other Loric. He was responsible for one of their deaths, and he’s not even sure how the Loric do their burial stuff. But Five still had a grave he could visit when he finally served his time. It’s covered in graffiti with messages that only therapy keeps him from hunting down the writers and it’s over grown, but it’s still a grave.

He lays flowers on top of it and tries to clear away some of the weeds. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I thought…” He bowed his head, and he could see Five sitting in the pilot seat staring out at the ocean.

“I like you calming me down like that. Your legacy… it’s a gift.”

His eyes met Einar’s and gave a half smile. Einar smiled back and settled down next to him.

“We could take this ship and travel, saving our people from those who’d want to control them. Maybe add a couple rooms.”

“I’d be good with just one.” And Einar loved that little taunting twist of his mouth.

“I thought we’d be together so far into the future, no one could see otherwise,” he whispered as his throat tightened painfully around the words.

“Nice dinner,” Five said with a glint in his eyes as he sat in the opposite chair.

“I think it’ll have a nice set up when our friend drops in.”

Five rolled his eyes and grabbed an apple off the table. “I was thinking romantic. But way to stay focused.” Einar raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, should I be taking time out of stopping the Foundation to court you?” “That’d be nice.”

He smiled at the other Garde. “After we’ve stopped the Foundation and freed the Garde, I’ll court you right. A dozen roses and candlelight dinners.”

“And flights over the ocean.”

Einar threw his head back with a laugh. “Oh, that’ll be you courting me.”

“I should’ve taken the time to court you, and…” Hot tears burned down Einar’s cheek and he bowed his head.

“It’s weird seeing you out here like this.” Einar’s head snapped up at the intruding voice as he saw Nigel picking his way over to the grave next to him. “But I guess it makes sense a couple of psychos fell in love.”

Einar glared at him. “What are you even doing here?”

“My friend died that day, too. She might’ve ran off with your demented ass, but she was still one of my best friends.” His shoulders slumped as he stared at the grave next to Five’s. “I still visit her. She deserves that.”

Einar turned back to the grave. “You wouldn’t have been able to stop John Smith if it wasn’t for what we did.”

“And I can still hate you for what you did to me.”

He swallowed. “Living in that ship was kind of hell, but I miss it. I miss feeling like we were working toward something bigger. I miss connecting with the team. And I miss him.”

Nigel’s quite for a long time. “From what I’ve heard, you were shit at working on a team.”

Einar let out a watery laugh. “I was. But working with him was so easy. We just fit together.”

The silence settles in around them for so long while that it starts to chill. “A lot of us miss that feeling. Before we lost the people we cared about, when we still felt invincible. Fuck-“ Nigel broke off, and put a hand over his face. “I miss when we were fighting you’re stupid ass and getting Taylor back. Feeling like we were unstoppable. And I lived through a fucking war. We lost people there, too.”

“So what now?”

“You can try coming to New Lorien and finding a new purpose. I’m sure you can find something to do.”

“I thought you hated me.”

“I do,” Nigel bit out. “I’m not the one asking. Like you said we couldn’t have stopped John Smith without what you did, and someone is very appreciative of that.”

“John Smith?”

He didn’t reply, but it was an answer in itself. Einar ran his hand over the grave stone. “What about him?”

“You carry his memory forward. All the good parts we couldn’t see. It’s the most you can do.” He turned and sauntered back the way he came.

Einar called over his shoulder. “Why’d they send you?”

“Because Ran would’ve wanted to give you a chance.”

Five buried his toes in the sand and turned to him with a smile as the sun set over the ocean. “This is nice. We should get married, have a honeymoon here.”

Einar smiled back and leaned forward, kissing him gently. “Anything you want, baby?” And he couldn’t tell if this was a memory or a hopeful dream.

#I cried while writing this #Einar/Five #Five's dead #I haven't actually read Return to Zero #just mostly all the parts that have Five or Einar in them #number five #nigel #einar #lorictober #lorien legacies #fanfic #grieving #dead characters

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sunshineandcybertronians · 3 years

Text

It’s Nice to Have a Friend - (Secret Solenoid) TFP Starscream x reader

Word count: 5,599

Warnings: none

A/n: This is my Secret Solenoid gift to @sheabeeprime. This ended up way longer than I meant it to be. The ideas for what I could do just kept piling up and I decided to do all of them. And in true Scarlet fashion, I named this after a Taylor Swift song.

The view was amazing from where you sat on the edge of a cliff. Staring at the amazing view ahead of you. The wind in your face and hair. Just you, your thoughts, and the giant robot on your left.

Yeah, you honestly had no idea why Starscream decided to sit with you. And no idea why he always came to your home to pick you up when he was hunting for energon. Maybe he just needed company? Whatever the reason, an opportunity like this was too cool to pass down. So you tagged along whenever you were free. Which sometimes meant having to tell him you were busy or why you weren’t home when he came last. Though it was amazing how he would avoid being seen.

You didn’t know much about him. All you knew was that he was grumpy, had a huge ego, and his ex co-workers sucked.

You bit your lip. Today was the only chance for you to ask this. You pushed a strand of hair that flew in your face.

His helm faced forward, but his optics were on you. “What is it, human?”

“Hmmm?” You looked up at him as innocently as you could manage.

“’I know you were going to ask me something. Just ask me and get it over with.”

“Well,” you began, “There’s this parade going on…”

“And?” he raised one of his large eyebrows.

“It’s celebrating all the different countries in the world.”

“So?”

“I was thinking we could go?” You shrugged and gave a strained smile.

“No.” He immediately shot down the idea.

“But you could learn all about different human cultures.”

“Why would I want to learn about other humans anyway?”

“Wouldn’t simply knowing those kinds of things get you ahead of, and make you more knowledgeable than, the Decepticons?” you asked nonchalantly.

“Hah! You think saying that will make me go?” A look of amused triumph was on his face, but you could see the metaphorical cogs turning in his helm. He soon let out an angry and reluctant hum. “But I suppose I could take some of my precious time to come to your… ‘celebration of opposing humans’.” He waved his servo.

You let out a laugh. “We aren’t enemies or any like that just because we’re from other countries. Yeah, there can be some wars, but we’re mostly allies.”

Starscream gave you a perplexed look with his head tilted. Eventually, he just huffed and turned away, mumbling, “That doesn’t even make sense.”

You examined him, then shrugged. “Okay. But whether or not it makes sense to you, I’m honored you’ll bestow your presence upon the parade.”

He considered your words and, once he processed that it was praise, he puffed out his chassis with his helm held high.

There was a bit of trial and error in figuring out how to get there. You didn’t have exact coordinates and Starscream didn’t know where it was. Finally, you both decided on a method. You would give him directions while looking at a map on your phone. Once you steer him in the general area, you should be able to see the parade from the air. Upon this decision, Starscream jumped off the cliff to perform a flawless, midair transformation. He soared back up to meet you, showing off a few spins, and opened the cockpit for you to get in.

You eagerly got in and he took off. He shot through the sky like a comet, reaching up through a puffy white cloud, which resulted in a huge smile on your face. There was something amazing about being that high above the ground. Clouds stretching out made it feel like a new, hidden world.

“Which way?”

“Oh, right!”

It was strange how people appeared so small from up above. The whole event would probably have seemed grander from the ground, but you weren’t going to pass up the opportunity to see it from the air. Especially with a giant robot.

“Wow. Look at it,” you commented. Suddenly, the rule of ‘if I can see you, you can see me’ came to mind. “Uh, are they going to find it suspicious that a jet is just floating here?”

“You tell me.”

You thought for only a second. “Definitely.”

Starscream maneuvered himself into a cloud, enclosing around him as though it were just a hologram. The nose poked out and there was a thin layer of cloud over the glass off the cockpit.

“You can still see, right?” he inquired.

“Yep. Thanks.”

You leaned back comfortably. The view was amazing. However the wonder slowly wore off and the silence began pricking at you. You almost wished for him to start complaining, or asking you questions, or for a radio. Though you doubted that he would enjoy human music. Or would he? Maybe you should try introducing some to him, but which genre?

“So what’s going on?” Starscream’s question brought you out of your thoughts.

“Oh, well people representing each country are walking in their group with a flag of that country. Like Italy, over there. They invented pizza!” You sat straight and pointed.

“What now?”

“Pizza, it’s a type of food that has cheese and tomato sauce an-“

“Nevermind. I don’t want to hear about the things you fleshies consume.” You thought you felt his alt mode shudder.

“Hey, if you were human, you would like it too,” you said. You fought the feeling of being offended that was taking over your thoughts.

“Then thank Primus I’m not.”

“Whatever.” You crossed your arms and slouched back. “… But we do need to eat to survive you know.”

He hummed in reluctant consideration. “I suppose you’re right.”

Some time passed as you continued to sit there. Occasionally you would comment on a ‘country’ that was passing by. Sometimes he would ask about one. It was surprising how much your mind blanked out when you tried to talk about a country. You would have assumed that you wouldn’t have this problem considering you grew up on Earth.

A white flag with a circle and black lines on the corners caught your eye. You couldn't see the details from so far away, but you knew the circle was a blue and red yin yang. "Oh! That's the flag for South Korea."

"South? That sounds more like a location than a faction."

"Faction? What? Well, yes, it's a location. A location with its own government and own way of doing things. Like how you're a cybertronian. Because you're from Cybertron? Were you thinking about it like that? Factions?"

He hovered slightly higher then fell back into place. "How was I supposed to know? Cybertron had one government and leader. Much simpler."

"Hmmm." You considered the thought. "That's either really nice or there was a lot of corruption."

"Oh, you bet there was corruption. But does that mean there's a north, whatever it's called?"

"Korea. And yes, there's a North Korea. It split into north and south a while ago. North Korea has a dictator and isn't a place you want to go."

“What kinds of governments does each of these ‘countries’ have?” He asked.

“Well, the USA is a Democratic Republic. And there’s also socialism in some places, and at some point I think Russia was communist? Why can’t I remember anything?” You cursed yourself.

“Remind me why there isn’t one large government and leaders over the whole Earth?”

“That would be hard to do. A lot of people just wouldn’t agree to that. One of the reasons being that people want their own way of doing things. Since all of these countries formed on their own, having them all agree on giving up their own leadership to have a universal government is nearly impossible. There will always be someone who disagrees on how to run things.”

“It would be easier if someone just conquered the Earth.”

“You think people haven’t tried? There’ve been quite a bit of attempts, like Napoleon, but they all failed in the end. It’s a big place and people fight back.”

Another silence fell upon you both. You bit your lip as you scanned over the parade again.

"There's Japan. They have anime," you said.

Starscream finally lost his patience. “I’m not learning anything of use here! I’m just sitting here watching humans walk! The most informative bit was what you told me about North Kaon!"

"North Korea."

"Whatever it was! You expect me to remember all of these names?”

“Well, at least you can get an idea of what each country is like.”

“Admit it, you just told me to go because you wanted to come.”

“Maybe,” your voice rose an octave higher.

He scoffed.

“But,” you added, sitting up, “I did genuinely want to see it with you and show you a little more of Earth.”

“Why would I want to stay here even longer?!”

“I didn’t say that.” You looked at the gauges softly as if it were his face.

“Ah,” there was a nervous stutter present in his voice, “right.”

“Why did you come to Earth if you hate it so much?”

“It’s one of the last locations where we can find even scraps of energon. And you’ve come along to aid me enough times to know it’s important,” he said.

“It’s one of the only things you do.” You recollected everytime you were with him.

“Because ever since leaving the Decepticons ranks, I no longer have access to our storage or equipment to effectively find it. But I promise you, if it weren’t for Cybertron becoming a desert wasteland during the war, I would have never come to this mud ball.”

“Well. Even if you really wanna get back to cybertron, I’m glad I met you. And that I got to experience your awesome flying skills.” You tugged on a strand of your hair and ran your fingers through it.

There was a brief silence.

“I mean, of course you would… How much longer did you want to see the parade?”

“Maybe a half an hour.”

“Hmmm. I’m going to be sore after hovering in the same spot for so long.”

“I could always rub your wings later if you want,” you offered.

“And let your grubby, little, fleshie hands on my magnificent wings? I think not.”

“Okay.” You rolled your eyes playfully. “It was just an idea.”

For a few more moments, neither of you said anything.

“Would you like to see a demonstration of my aerobatic skills later?”

“Actually, I would.”

A comfortable pause fell upon you.

“…Would you like to go down there?” he offered. He tipped his nose ever-so-slightly to the ground.

“Nah.” You leaned back in your seat with a smile. “I like it up here with you.”

It had been two months and six days since you last saw him.

Yes, you were counting and had no idea why. Maybe he finally got tired of your fleshie self and left. Maybe you should have seen it coming with how much he disliked humans. Maybe you annoyed him so much that he decided to never see you again without a word.

Yet, when you truly thought about it, it didn’t make sense. He seemed to enjoy being with you, even if he never showed it outright. He was always the one who decided to bring you along when hunting for energon. Even when he was a giant robot, and clearly had some sort of prejudice against humans, it felt as though he still treated you as an equal to some degree.

But maybe he truly did get tired of you.

You stood by your window. The sun had dipped below the horizon and the last ghosts of light had faded away into darkness. You stood in your sweat pants and baggy t-shirt. Your hair was brushed and you were ready to relax. A warm cup of hot chocolate was in your hands, the warmth seeping into your skin. You stared into the cup, thinking of nothing in particular when you blinked at a sudden light.

Your eyes instinctively followed the light. Outside the window, hovering just above the ground, was a large, greenish blue, swirling vortex. You stepped back, but promptly leaned closer for a better look. It didn’t seem to be pulling anything into it. It seemed gentle, yet powerful. You would have found it beautiful if your mind weren’t preoccupied with confusion.

Something seemed to appear inside of it. It was tall, and metal and--!

You nearly dropped your glass mug. After placing it safely to the side, you grabbed a jacket and rushed out the door. You raced to where you saw the portal as fast as your feet would carry you. It was still there when you reached it. Starscream held a device in his hands and his red optics searched the area, as if looking for something.

“Starscream!” You ran up to him, nearly in tears. “Where were you? You’ve been gone forever!”

His optics avoided your eyes. “Well, I…” His mouth pushed into a thin frown. “I lost my T-cog.”

“You’re what now?”

“T-cog! It’s what allows cybertronians to transform.”

Your current expression dropped as it finally dawned on you. The reason he had suddenly disappeared. Then you remembered that there were other people nearby.

“Why don’t we go back through your portal thing and talk about it there?” You began to jog into the portal.

“Ground bridge.”

“Whatever it is.”

You ran while he walked in. The fact that the ground seemed to be made of swirling energy, though it felt completely solid, messed you up. You being smaller didn’t help either. You were running and still falling behind. After a half a minute, Starscream turned around to pick you up and carry you through.

A flash filled your vision and you had to blink several times to adjust to the dark, new area. The walls, ceiling, and floor were made entirely of metal. The only light source came from a dim glow from an foreign, alien screen. It was clear from the dust that no one had been there in a long time. The scale was so large that you felt confident that this was something cybertronians built.

The portal behind you shrunk until it vanished. Starscream lowered you down onto the ground. As soon as your feet hit the floor, you dashed to Starscream’s foot to give him the biggest hug you could.

“I missed you,” you mumbled. Of course, he might have not heard it if it weren’t for nearly every surface being made of metal, causing an echo.

His posture went rigid. He began to reach down to pat your head, then pulled his hand away. He stayed like that without moving a servo the whole time you hugged him.

“Ah… Me too.”

You let go. The cold of the living metal still lingered on you.

“Where have you been? How did…?” You stared up at him.

“I came across some other humans,” he began as he walked over for something to sit on. He helped you up onto it and you sat next to him. “I tried to asist them in building a cybertronian. I believed that they would allow me to keep energon I allowed them to find.” He stared at the floor the entire time.

Your eyes stayed locked on his glowing optics. “Build a cybertronian? Wait, if that was what happened, how did you lose your T thing?”

“I-They needed a t-cog in order to build a cybertronian. The one they already acquired was lost and they decided to take mine instead.” He almost seemed to curl up at the last words.

This settled on your mind like a ton of bricks. You didn’t say a word. Suddenly the room felt very heavy. The silence was like a suffocating blanket that you couldn’t seem to push off. You swallowed.

“They took… it? But, you could have fought them off easi-“

“They shot me with some sort of stun mechanism then proceeded to rip me open to take it!” His talons clenched into fists before him.

Once again, you couldn’t speak.

“Why is it that the first humans I meet, other than you, are no better than the Decepticons?”

“… Because some people can just be like that. Just like humans have potential for both good and harm, it seems like cybertronians are the same in that way.” You stared at the ground. “So… You can’t transform anymore?”

“No.”

“And that’s why you couldn’t fly back to me?”

“Not until I found the Harbinger and a portable ground bridge.”

You nodded. You pulled your legs to your chest and stared off into nothing. “That must stink. Not being able to fly.”

“It’s been terrible! How do humans survive like this?” He lifted his fists to his face. His eyebrows, or whatever they were called, dug into his optics.

You shrugged. “We’re just used to it.”

The metaphorical blanket came back onto you, but somewhat more comfortably. Somewhat. You both continued to sit.

“… Are you upset about my not being able to transform?” Starscream cut through the silence. Almost so softly that you could hardly believe he was the one who said it.

“Huh? Well, yes,” you let go of your legs, “because you’re upset. I know how much you love flying!”

“But what about you?”

“Me?” You pointed to yourself.

“Yes!”

“I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

“How do you feel about me not being able to transform?!” He stood up and spun on his heels to face you. His wings stuck up on point.

“Well,” you thought for a second, “I did enjoy flying, but it honestly doesn’t matter too much to me if you can turn into a jet or not. I’m just happy you came back.”

“Oh.” The frustrated expression fell from his face and he looked away. In any direction except at you.

“What’s wrong?” You straightened your back as if it would help you see what was up.

“Nothing, I think. I had simply thought that you only liked me because of my flight capabilities.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because Megatron only kept me alive because I was useful? It was always like that on Cybertron, and with those other humans. Once I become useless, I’m tossed away.”

You felt your heart twisted and your blood boiling. “I hate people who are like that. Forget them. They aren’t worth your time. I’m glad their out of your life.” You stood up. “And to me, as long as we get to hang out, I’m good.”

Starscream tilted his head. “You truly don’t make any sense.”

You shrugged. “The best people in life are free.”

“Huh?”

“People who don’t expect anything in return,” you elaborated. “They care and love you unconditionally.”

“I don’t believe anyone like that exists.”

“They exist. And so do I.” You confidently stared up at him.

His gaze darted between you and away from you. He took a few steps back, as if you were a mysterious creature that could become hostile or blow up any second. Eventually, he gave in to a beautiful, natural smile. And the room suddenly seemed brighter.

“So, Starscream, I was thinking…” You walked into the room.

“If it’s anything about making a giant s’more again, I’m not interested.”

“No.”

Starscream had been feeling down, pun not intended, about losing his t-cog. You had cleared out two days in your schedule to have a sleepover with him. He had surprised you when you jokingly offered for him to brush your hair and he accepted. He also tried to braid it when you taught him how. It was surprisingly well done, considering the size of his talons, but still sloppy. You had to remind him that he wasn’t a failure at braiding. While laying in your sleeping bag and bundle of blankets you brought for the occasion, an idea came to you.

“I was thinking,” you continued, “that since you’ve been down about not being able to,” Starscream gave you the stink eye, “you know. So I decided it would be fun to do something similar to that one day with the parade.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I can’t fly you to another one.”

“No, not that. I mean that there’s this scout group doing a world presentation or whatever near where I live. They’re going to have cardboard stands set up for each country they researched about.”

“I really don’t think you’ve thought this through,” Starscream sighed, “I do not think these, or any, humans would react well to seeing a cybertronian.”

“I’ve already figured that out!” You bounced on your toes. “I’ll be carrying a camera that will stream video to you over here. That way you can see it without having to be there! And I have some earbuds so I can start a call with you and be able to hear and answer back if you have any questions.”

“Will the humans be suspicious about you speaking to no one?”

“Nope! They’ll just assume I’m on a call with someone, which technically isn’t wrong. So what do you say?”

“Okay. So you can still see the video feed, right?” you asked while readjusting the camera on your hat.

“Yes, now stop shaking around!” Starscream’s voice came through your earbud. You swore that you would go deaf if this lasted too long.

“Okay,” you mumbled.

The sky was overcast. You walked into the building along with families that had come to see the scouts’ projects. There were tons of tables and three paneled boards lined up. People wandered around. They would stop to read, then turn and walk to the next one that caught their eye. It was clear which groups were family because they would greatly compliment the child’s work.

You figured you needed to start somewhere. It was a stange feeling to be there when you didn’t know anyone, even if the event was open to the public.

“Are we just going to stare?”

This snapped you out of your daze. You blinked for a second. Right, you weren’t alone. You had Starscream.

“Right,” you said and stepped forward.

You walked along the rows, glancing over them until one caught your eye. “France,” you said while pointing to the printed out flag, making sure your finger could be seen by the camera. “It’s in Europe. The capital is Paris. The population is 66 million.” You read off of it. You walked over to another. “Germany. It’s also in Europe. You know, maybe this whole row is European countries. Anyway, capital’s Berlin. Population is 83 million. Their currency is euros.”

“Ironic how these give more information than you did that other day.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes. Ironic.” You walked a few more steps and stopped. “Some place named Estonia. The flag looks cool.”

“It’s three lines of color, like the other ones.”

“I like the colors.”

“There’s a lot of writing and pictures on each report,” Starscream commented. “Did each of these children research, find the information, and organize it in a presentable way?”

“Yes?” your voice came out as more of a question.

“Impressive.”

You smiled. “Some kids don’t do scouts, but they end up doing things similar with science fairs in school. They’ll do experiments or research, and they they have to make a presentation about it, like a vinegar volcano.”

“A volcano?!”

“No, it can’t do anything dangerous.”

“Then what’s the point? I wouldn’t call that science.”

“It’s simple science that kids are able to do. You know, since they’re kids?”

You noticed one of the parents staring at you and you gave an apologetic look while moving your hair to point at your earbud. You continued walking and eyeing some of the posters to read to Starscream. You had gotten to the Asia section and did your best to pick out something to show him.

“And see? The rainbow bridge.” You pointed.

“Huh? Oh, yes. Very nice,” he said absent mindedly.

You quirked an eyebrow up, but eventually shrugged. He was probably getting bored with all of this. A part of you was beginning to wonder why you thought this was a good idea. This thought detracted you from the sounds surrounding you. You suddenly felt cold and like something was hitting you?

You looked around and suddenly noticed that the fire alarm had gone off. Loud beeps filled the room. Everyone was trying to get out. Kids looked in all directions in confusion. Adults tried to keep them calm and safely head out. Your clothes were beginning to dampen. Instead of trying to get out, your first instinct was to get out of the sprinkler. You crawled under a table and peeked out.

The last few people were almost through the door. That’s when you decided it was time for you to go, but something caught your eye. Something in one of the upper windows that lined the wall near the ceiling. Starscream? His red optics stared down at you and he signaled for you to stay there, along with whispering to you through your earbud. You were confused, but you hid under the table once more.

You waited until the water stopped pouring. Once it was over, you pulled yourself out and to your feet. You glanced around. That was rather sudden. And now there were puddles all over the floor.

A loud rattling echoed in the room.

You turned to see the large door, the kind you would see in a garage, at the back of the room open up. The temperature of the room changed to match outside. Starscream held the door up with a mischievous smirk. You took your earbud out.

“What did you do?”

“I may have gotten bored simply watching through a screen and decided to come. And I may have possibly started a fire, opened a window, and held it next to one of those fire alarms.” His grin grew with each word.

“Really?” You asked rhetorically with your hands on your hips. But you couldn’t help but crack a smile yourself.

“What? I was bored.” He shrugged and waved a hand.

You shook your head with a laugh. “Whatever.”

Starscream ducked in. He had to stay bent down to order to fit. You moved out of his way was he came in.

“So, you were actually interested in this?” you questioned.

“I thought it would be better to see it in person with you.”

“Yeah, but some fire trucks or someone else is going to eventually come back here and see you.”

“Hmm.” He looked back. “I see. But one look for a nanoklick couldn’t hurt. I just did all of this so I could see it anyway.”

“Okay.” You shrugged. “Just hurry.”

After his wing nicked the roof when he tried to straighten himself, he quickly realized that it was easier for him to be on his knees. As he got down on his knees, you helped direct him down in the small free space between the tables. The legs skidding against the floor echoed through the room and made you jump. You were surprised he was even trying to do this when he could barely fit between the rows.

He had to lean in close to get good look of the displays. He would occasionally ask you the meaning of a word he didn’t know. You had to admit, it was more fun to have him there in person. Unfortunately you couldn’t enjoy this for fear of being seen. You constantly looked over your shoulder.

Eventually your paranoia dropped by a few notches. Though, by then Starscream had gotten tired of being crammed in a small space and probably noticed your concern. It was awkward getting to the garage door, between him being unable to move much and him blocking you. But you made your way out.

He lifted the door and ducked under and out. You followed when you noticed him freeze. Confused, you followed his gaze. Your blood went cold and you felt as if your mind was being squeezed into a box.

Staring up at Starscream was what looked to be a five year old child. The little boy was alone, probably wandered off, and had an orange jacket and hat. His expression twisted into disbelief then fear. Your heart rate quickened when you saw his face wobbling.

“Scrap,” you let out as you both turn the other way in panic.

Starscream closed the door with a loud bang that sent a shiver up your spine. You didn’t noticed what Starstream was doing behind you, since you were already running on instinct. When he came into your field of vision again, he was twisting on one foot to regain balance and lifted up the remote ground bridge device. In his panic, he hesitated on which button to click, but quickly pressed it once he remembered.

“Is it a good idea to open it up in here?” you questioned as the piece of cybertronian technology swirled and grew before you.

“I would have preferred a larger space, but I don’t believe we have much of a choice.”

He scooped you up and pulled you through. Like always, you blinked when a flash filled your vision. The air suddenly changed and you were back on the Harbinger as the ground bridge closed behind you. When he held you to the ground and you finally collected yourself enough to jump off, you realized that three of the cardboard presentations had managed to come through along with you and Starscream.

You stood there. “Well, that was interesting.”

“One shouldn’t cause any problems, right?” He looked to you before his eyes darted back to where the ground bridge was.

“That was a kid. They won’t believe him. They might look around, but after seeing no giant robot, they’ll dismiss it.”

“That’s good to hear.” Starscream groaned and held his shoulder. “That made all of my joints stiff. And the tip of my wing caught on the top of that door.” He glanced at his wing with a slight pout on his face.

You stared up at him, taking a moment to consider your words before you were unable to take them back. “… Would you like it if I massaged your wings?”

His optics widened and darted around the area. “Fine,” you could barely hear in the midst of low grumbles.

You blinked twice before fully processing what that meant. As you were trying to figure out how to even reach his wings, he held out his hand. You stepped onto it and he carried you to a table or whatever it was. It was too large for you to tell exactly. You carefully got off of his hand and he sat with his wings facing you.

You sat with your legs hanging off the edge. Your hands reached out to his wings. He readjusted himself so you didn’t have to lean forward in order to touch them. Your fingers shook. You hesitated. Finally, your hand laid flat on it. It was cold. You didn’t know what you expected. It was basically like touching a regular piece of metal. You weren’t sure what you were expecting. But somehow it felt different. Maybe because he had trusted you to touch it. You began rubbing it soothingly. You prayed that you weren’t doing anything wrong.

He hummed as you rubbed patterns onto it. Although you were sure he could barely feel it, you saw him relaxing. There was silence for several minutes.

“Why are you so kind?” he said.

“Huh?” You did your best to peek around to look at his face.

“How can humans be like this? At least you and the ones you talk about. Those small humans, no matter how well they proformed with their research, were praised. And how can other humans get along well enough to be allies despite having separate territories and governments? How can anyone do anything for someone else without expected anything in return.” He turned his helm to you. “Unless there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“No?” You tilted your head in confusion. “I just wanted to because it was the nice thing to do?”

“How? Why?” He turned his whole body, leaving your hands floating in the air. “Why are you always so nice to me? Has it ever occurred to you that you would get nothing in return? Especially from a grounded Decepticon defect?”

“I’m not looking for anything in return,” you started calmly. “I might get to learn about cybertronians, and do some cool things with you. And I get to spend time with you. I get that in exchange, but I’m not expecting anything more. Can you please accept that there are some people who are just nice? Who actually like you and want what’s best for you?”

His face twisted, as if about to argue. But paused, like he had never considered that before. He opened his mouth again, but closed it again, when no words would come out.

He eventually sighed. “I suppose I’ll simply have to trust you,” he said softly. He stared at you closely. “Your hair dried.”

You suddenly remembered it had been wet from the sprinklers. He reached out and touched your hair, letting it fall on his talons. Then he flinched back. “Uh… apologies.”

You reached out to pull his finger close to you and hug it. “It’s okay.” You smiled. “I like it.”

Starscream appeared shocked by this, but relaxed and smiled. A genuine smile.

#starscream x reader #secret solenoid #secret santa #starscream #transformers #transformers prime #tfp #tfp starscream #tfp x reader #I swear I didn't see the thing about IaCon just because you were my giftee #someone I followed reblogged it XD

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half-bakedboy · 3 years

Text

when you’re not listening (read on ao3)

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz Rated: General Summary: “You don’t want to kiss me, Buck.”

“How do you know that?” Buck shot back. He would realize later that he never denied her accusation. He stared her down almost desperately and saw more sympathy in her eyes than he liked. It made him feel vulnerable and he hated wearing his heart on his sleeve with anyone, especially Taylor.

“Because you’re just going to wish it was him and neither of us deserves that."

A Season 4 Episode 12: Treasure Hunt Fix It (contains spoilers for the ep)

There was no doubt in Buck’s mind that Taylor Kelly was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen in his life. She had those big blue eyes that Buck could compare to skies and oceans with the little specks of green that were scattered through them, and her hair was brighter than most of the fires Buck had put out in his line of work. She was smart, cunning, and witty and she could put Buck in his place with a raise of her eyebrow or a single well-formed word on her perfectly lined lips.

Buck was leaning in before he could think about what he was doing, the double shots of tequila already thrumming through his veins and dizzying his head just enough for all coherent thought to disappear. She was complaining about something — someone — that was related to the treasure hunt they had teamed up to try and figure out for the last few days and was seemingly not paying attention to the way Buck moved closer to her.

She never paid attention to him the way he did her. He wondered if she thought he was pretty; if she ever compared his hair to a sandy beach that led to the ocean that was his eyes. He wondered if she ever took a second to think about what adjectives she would use to describe Buck. Would she call him intelligent? Lovable? Stupid? Sarcastic? Annoying? Exhausting?

He shook his head to focus his mind and eyes back on Taylor who was scanning the map in front of her like it held all the answers. Buck knew it didn’t have any for him. It was just another way for him to keep his life exciting and hold those around him even closer. He got to spend the last few days with his best friends and he wondered if they cared as much as he did. He figured Eddie did and that thought alone had a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“What does Eddie do?” Taylor asked, breaking him out of his haze.

“He’s a firefighter…” Buck explained slowly because Taylor must have hurt herself looking for all the clues or something. She smacked him on the arm.

“You were rambling - which we will talk about more in a second - but then you stopped, got this goofy smile on your face, and said, ‘Eddie does.’” Buck blushed. He could blame it on the alcohol, but they both knew that wasn’t it.

“How much of my internal monologue did you hear?” He asked instead, resting both hands on the table as far apart as they could go so he had a little space between him and Taylor.

“Well, I heard you think about trying to kiss me which you quickly convinced yourself off of. Thank god, too, cause I didn’t wanna have to deny you again.” Before Buck could argue, she gave him a look that shut him up almost as quickly as Athena’s did. “Then I think you were scrolling through a thesaurus in your head? Then you talked about the treasure hunt and then, as usual, you stopped thinking at all because of Eddie.”

“What do you mean as usual?” Buck asked. He probably should’ve been embarrassed that she had knocked him down so many pegs with just a few sentences, but he was more interested in why she was looking at him like he was an idiot.

“We’ll get to that,” Taylor said, waving her hand in dismissal.

“This isn’t the news, Taylor, you can just tell me what’s going on instead of teasing it for the ten o’clock story,” Buck complained, sliding his hands across the table until a pin pricked his skin sharply.

“We’ve known each other for a little bit of time now, yeah?” Taylor asked, resting a hand on Buck’s shoulder and squeezing. He glanced up at her and nodded. “So you could say that I know you pretty well considering?”

Buck nodded again and agreed, “Considering I can count the number of people that do on one hand, yeah.”

“So will you trust me when I say what I have to say?” Who was Buck to argue with her when she stared at him with too much sympathy in her eyes. She rested a hand on Buck’s cheek and began, “You are inquisitive and always searching out new information even if it’s unimportant. You’re impassioned about everything you do in life. You’re absolutely ridiculous in every sense of the word. You’re sensitive and captivating and endearing and reliable and trustworthy and thoughtful, and—”

Buck leaned in to kiss her. He didn’t have to think about it because, after everything she had said, he knew she must feel the same as he had the last few days. But then his lips met her cheek and her hand smacked over the small bubble of laughter that escaped her mouth.

“I was going to say impulsive next,” Taylor noted as she glanced up at Buck again, leaning back as if she was scared he would try to make another move.

“God, I’m so sorry, I’m— You just said all of those things, and I just got carried away and—”

“Who said those were my words?” Taylor noted easily, maintaining eye contact even as Buck furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“I am way too buzzed to play this game right now, Taylor,” Buck said, pulling his hands away from Taylor’s waist and backing away.

“Have you ever heard the way Eddie speaks about you?” Taylor asked before he could get too far away.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” Buck said honestly. Sure, he knew they were best friends and he knew how he spoke of Eddie, but he had always assumed that Eddie never talked about him. He was a man of few words and Buck wasn’t sure why any of them would be wasted on him.

“I’ve spent all of twenty-four hours being the third wheel attached to the fine-tuned engine that is Buck and Eddie. While you were off finding more clues and gathering information, Eddie was telling me all about how lucky I was to have someone as impassioned and sensitive and reliable and thoughtful and selfless and—”

“Yeah, I heard you the first time,” Buck said, blushing deeper when he thought of Eddie saying those things about him. He wasn’t sure why his stomach chose to flutter in excitement or why his heart sped up just a little quicker than necessary.

“He never mentioned that you were oblivious, though, but I’m assuming that’s because he’s just as bad,” Taylor noted, staring Buck down like he was a news story she couldn’t wait to crack. Buck said nothing and avoided her eyes at all costs, staring down at the hole in his sweater and wishing he could disappear into it.

“I don’t understand what any of this has to do with us,” Buck relented, turning back toward Taylor and crossing his arms over his chest. “We make a great team and we could be even better if we just—” He stalked forward again, sighing when Taylor’s hands rested on his chest and patted gently.

“You don’t want to kiss me, Buck.”

“Because you’re just going to wish it was him and neither of us deserves that,” Taylor said softly, trailing a hand to cup Buck’s cheek, sliding her thumb comfortingly across his cheekbone. Buck leaned into it, relenting to the softness and allowing himself for one moment to be happy that he had a friend like Taylor.

“There’s a really narrow line between friends and… more,” Buck stated with a defeated huff of laughter. Taylor froze and glanced down at the map before smirking up at Buck.

“I know where the treasure is.”

----------------------------------

Eddie could be described as many things, but currently, the only word he could think of was jealous. His skin was still crawling from witnessing the easy way Buck and Taylor interacted, reading each other’s minds like they were the same damn person and smiling at each other like they had cracked a secret code while Eddie tagged along. He was still a little pissed that Buck had decided to go to Taylor first - over Eddie - to search for the stupid treasure in the first place.

He wasn’t even interested in finding the five million dollars. Although it would be nice to provide some wiggle room for whatever Christopher wanted to do in the future, he didn’t need it. What he had wanted was to spend some time with Buck and really figure out the feelings that were suddenly clouding his mind whenever he so much as looked at his best friend. Spending a few days doing a ridiculous task with Buck seemed like the perfect excuse to try to figure out where the sudden urge to break up with his girlfriend in favor of pursuing a relationship with his best friend came from.

Then Taylor Kelly happened. He was sure everyone in the firehouse was increasingly aware of the way his lips turned down and his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance at the mere mention of her name or how seeing her ridiculous(ly beautiful) face on the television made him want to ban Buck from using electronics again. He didn’t think it would slide, though, because for some reason, Buck liked her and that was enough of a punch to the gut to have Eddie scrubbing down his dinner dishes furiously in the sink.

When the knock at his door sounded, he slammed the plate he had been over cleaning into the sink, taking a deep breath before turning toward the door. That last person he expected to see was Buck leaning against the doorframe with an almost concerned smirk on his face.

“What did your dishware ever do to you?” He asked, swinging his keys around his finger. Eddie saw the bright red cap on the key that belonged to his home and regretted giving it to Buck for just a moment. He would have given anything to be able to prepare himself for Buck to be in front of him considering, well, everything.

“He had it coming. I can’t prove it, but I think he was conspiring with the forks,” Eddie responded, shrugging his shoulders. Buck laughed and all of the pent-up anxiety drained from Eddie’s body.

“I’m sure you’ll get a confession out of him sooner or later,” Buck said, resting his head against the frame and licking his lips. If Eddie didn’t know any better, he would think that Buck looked a little sad or even… nervous.

“I thought you were getting together with Taylor tonight to drown your sorrows?” Eddie asked. He couldn’t help himself. The entire reason he’d been angry all night in the first place was because he knew Buck was hanging out with her. Eddie glanced at the clock and saw it was almost midnight. It didn’t make sense that Buck had shown up at all, especially with how late it was.

“We did a little drowning. Turns out I’m more of a lightweight on tequila than I thought.” Eddie narrowed his eyes and Buck clearly knew why he was suddenly angry. “Taylor got me an uber. I didn’t drive here,” Buck defended, holding up his hands in surrender.

“And why are you here? Not that you’re not welcome, I just figured you’d be spending the night with your—”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Buck interrupted, clearly exasperated at the accusation. Eddie wasn’t sure whether to let the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips grow and risk his obvious pleasure at the secondary confirmation. “She figured out where the treasure is.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide. “She found it and you’re here? Buck, why aren’t you with her to get it?” Eddie asked, stalking toward the door to slip on his shoes and grab his keys. Buck’s hand on his arm slowed him down and when he glanced at Buck, he had that soft smile on his face that Eddie was grateful to recognize as one of his Diaz-specific looks.

“If I’m gonna find five million dollars worth of treasure, it’s not gonna be with her,” Buck said simply. Eddie felt his stomach flutter and that jealous heat that surged through him turned down to a simmer as Buck stared down at him.

“Yeah?” Eddie said because he wasn’t sure how else to respond. It was a simple statement but it held the entire universe to Eddie and he wondered if Buck realized that.

“The way I see it,” Buck began, stroking his thumb over the back of Eddie’s hand, “we have two choices. One, we go get the treasure and split it between the four of us; you, me, Taylor, and Paul.”

“Paul?”

“The cameraman. Does no one know his name?” Buck asked, shaking his head as if to bring himself back to the subject.

“And number two?” Eddie asked, staring down at the hand that held his so delicately. Buck slid a finger from his free hand underneath Eddie’s chin to force their eye contact and Eddie would never be able to explain away the audible gulp or the way his face reddened at the intensity of Buck’s gaze.

“Or two, we stay here and finally have that conversation you seem to be having with everyone else besides me,” Buck noted, narrowing his eyes knowingly. Eddie groaned and pulled his hand away, only marginally upset by the loss of contact. Buck’s laughter rang through the air again and Eddie wasn’t as comforted by it that time around.

“Seriously? Was I that obvious?” Eddie asked, sending a pleased glance in Buck’s direction.

“It was Taylor that really convinced me. I was feeling sorry for myself and I tried to put the moves on her—”

“You what—?” Eddie interrupted only to be waved off by Buck.

“Lapse of judgment on my part, but it’s not important. What is important,” Buck took a deep breath and with each word moved a little closer, “is that I think you’re incredible. You’re good-hearted and loyal, kind and full of forgiveness even when I clearly don’t deserve it. You love your son more than anything in this world and don’t care who knows it. You’re… everything? And I’m not sure why it took me so long—”

Eddie leaned in to kiss him.

He wasn’t thinking, hadn’t been for the last few days of anything besides that moment where their lips might touch and all of the pieces of Eddie’s life would slot into place. Kissing Buck felt like finally taking a sip of water or dipping his body into the ocean after the hottest day of the summer and touching him, holding Buck’s face in his hands steadied him so much, he wasn’t sure he had ever been so balanced. There was five million dollars waiting for him somewhere in L.A. but Eddie couldn’t bring himself to care about it. Nothing was worth more than finally having Buck exactly how he had dreamed. When Buck pulled away, the grin on his lips was enough for Eddie to realize that everything was going to be okay; more than okay.

The next day when he sat around the lunch table with his new family surrounding him, he could only focus on the way Buck caught his eye from across the table and the nudge of his foot against Eddie’s when they thought no one was paying attention. He was sure the smiles and soft looks they gave each other were anything but subtle. It was Taylor that surprised him. She raised her eyebrows at Eddie, her eyes darting between the two men carefully as if asking if her secret plan had worked. Eddie nodded, smiling widely as he mouthed her a thank you.

It wasn’t enough just to thank her but it was a start and he had more important things to focus on. Eddie glanced back at the most important thing--Buck.

#buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #911 #911 on fox #911 spoilers #911 fic #911 coda fic #my writing #this was supposed to be a quick one #but almost 3k later #OOOOPS #hope you like it!! <3

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winchesterxxi · 3 years

Text

Tolerate It (Din Djarin x Reader)

Rating: PG-13 my dudes.

Type: Angst and some undercooked tasteless fluff cuz I’m a mess and extremely rusty.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Unrequited love, because that’s all we have these days and that shit hurts.

A/N: Based on Taylor Swift’s “Tolerate it” because I deadass listened to that song for the first time and could just picture this scenario ALSO I’m extremely rusty. As in, I haven’t written jackshit like this in over a year. Pardon this crap, but i was really emotional and in need to project onto a newly released song.

✸ ✸ ✸ ✸ ✸ ✸ ✸ ✸ ✸ ✸ ✸ ✸ ✸ ✸

I sit and watch you reading with your head low

The three of you were sitting in the cockpit. The Mandalorian resting his head against the leather of the pilot chair as you sat behind him, The Child in your arms, entertaining itself by tugging and twirling some of your hair strands as you smile down at him and wiggle the occasional finger against his side making him laugh.

This adorable green creature didn’t even phantom about your existence 4 months ago and now you would kill and get killed for it. And admittedly, the same goes for the man resting with his back to you.

I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed

I sit and watch you.

You were a servant at the tavern where he was set to meet the Client and hand over the child, which was all part of a bigger plan, you later found out. Just like him and his team, you got trapped when the stormtroopers and deathtroopers surrounded the building and opened fire, killing the Client and sending a bullet flying dangerously close to your head. When Mando, as you called him, found a vent into the sewers he made sure that you were not left behind.

And that started it for you. He directed no more than 10 words in your direction between entering the location and offering an escape once it was crumbling down, but he was willing to save your life. Once out of danger, the questions started: “who are you”, “what’s your name”, and “don’t you have a place to go”. You told him then, the answers to all of those questions. And you also explained how, given that you were a servant you didn’t actually have a place to go back to.

So he did a logical thing. Or at least, then and there, it was a purely logical thing. A pro-quo, if you will. He offered you a place to stay, in return of you working as some sort of a makeshift assistant of his own; someone to look after The Child when he couldn’t and proceed basic maintenance to the Razor Crest when needed.

And you accepted. You know, the logical thing. Or at least , then and there, it was a purely logical thing.

Though small, you had your own bed in the lower part of the ship giving you some privacy, occasionally disrupted by The Child that insisted on being cuddle against you in order to fall asleep or when there was an emergency that required your help, but, even then, Din wouldn’t just barge in; He’d always knock and make sure you were okay with him opening the door.

You told yourself that he was just being respectful - giving you the privacy that he hoped you’d retribute, which you always did. When it came to such things, you’d tip toe around him, not asking too many questions and only talking when spoken to or when you wanted to break an incredibly heavy silence. You respected The Way.

I notice everything you do or don't do

Eventually, you started to pick up through his body language traits and quirks of his personality that you couldn’t capture through the enclosed and hidden facial expressions: how he’d always lay The Child against his left arm while on a hunt as to work the weapons with his other hand, how he’s close his fists whenever he realized that he was about to shoot someone; or how after encasing any creature in carbonite, he’d always look over at his capture for a few moments in silence, before rolling his shoulders back and walk away, without uttering a word.

And those little things started to change with time. Changing, as in, new instincts and unconscious movements came to be concerning you: small things, like he’d never walk you in front of him, so as to be on the lookout to any danger or making sure to deviate any conversation that a badly-internationalized creature might want to direct at you.

Eventually, it became bigger. Or at least you thought. He’d make sure that you were covered whenever you fell asleep anywhere that wasn’t your bed; he started to crack jokes with you and have the occasional fight over whose time it was to bathe the kid, like an old married couple.

You're so much older and wiser, and I I wait by the door like I'm just a kid

I greet you with a battle hero's welcome

Lay the table with the fancy shit And watch you tolerate it

One day he’d be like that, and the next, he’d come back after a hunt in which it was too dangerous for you to go, and you’d been waiting all day (when it wasn’t a whole week) for him to come back, not injured and very much alive, and he almost wouldn’t acknowledge you, going straight into the fresher and locking himself in there.

Every time you’d be at the ready with cloths in your hand, prepared to clean any blood splatter or to wrap any open wound. But he’d dismiss you and lock himself away, somewhere in the ship.

If you didn’t know what mixed signals were before, you sure as hell knew now.

I take your indiscretions all in good fun I sit and listеn, I polish plates until they gleam and glistеn

One day, you had enough.

It was dark night already, and Mando made a lousy entrance through the main portal, struggling to push ahead of him a man much larger than him, draped in canvas coverings.

“Just walk.” Mando grunted, at the same time as he pushed against the man’s back. You were just sitting there, as always, first aid at the ready by your side, watching the scene unfold, unbothered. That is, until you caught the man’s eye.

While you were out building other worlds, where was I?

“Last time I heard you were a lone rider.” He wickedly grins at you. “But maybe that was all talk and you were just keeping this all to yourself.”

You slowly sit upright as your body tenses up. Mando doesn’t utter a word.

“Who’s that pretty thing anyways?”

“No one. Keep walking.” He grunts, pushing the man once more and away from you.

No one.

Maybe you shouldn’t have been so bothered by that description because, truth be told, he was probably trying not to get you involved in any unnecessary interactions with that disgusting being. But it’s as if those words were the final straw you needed to snap out of this passiveness you’ve held on to for the past few months.

“You know virtually everything there is to know about me, my life, and my planet. You gave me shelter and I owe my life to you. But I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s The Way.”

“Oh would you shut the fuck up with that, already?”

“You don’t talk to me like that.”

“Does The Way say that you have to be an asshole 90% of the time. Shutting out the world around you whenever you just don’t feel like dealing with them. I never even got a single thank you for rewiring the central system which prevented us from freezing to death.”

“You won’t even acknowledge me every time you come back from a hunt and you just told that guy that I was no one. Those were the exact words you used.”

“I ditched the very peaceful and stable life that I had because I wanted to help you. I have done nothing but be loyal to you for the past few months, doing everything you ask me to, yet here I am begging for footnotes in the story of your life.”

You are too close to him, almost pressed against his chest. He steps past you, brushing against your shoulder, leaning over the cockpit’s panel, his hands supporting him. He answers, with his back facing you, like he always seems to do these days.

“If it was so peaceful, maybe you should go back to it, because obviously you weren’t cut for this life.”

“What, I wasn’t cut for The Way?” you walk in his direction, blood boiling and fists curled by your side.

“Exactly.”

“Fine, maybe I’ll go.” And in that moment you could almost swear his face dropped, even if you couldn’t see it. Taking advantage of the moment you step in his direction, tilting your head up, summoning all your strength “But first tell me it’s all in my head.”

“What?” he is caught off guard, turning to face you.

“Tell me that you haven’t stared more than a couple of times. That your heart didn’t drop to the bottom of your stomach when I almost drowned in the Mamacore cage. Tell me that you don’t need my help and that I mean nothing to you. Tell me that I am taking up too much of your space or time.”

“You can’t know if I stare at you.” Really? That’s the one thing he chose to answer?

“That I can.” you straighten your back, trying to look taller.

“How would you know?” comes the distorted voice through the helmet speakers.

“The same way that you don’t need to have eyes in the back of your head to know when someone is coming at you with a sword or pointing a gun at your head.”

He is silent but you can hear his breathing through the helmet - how it’s slightly accelerated.

“Din.”

“What was that?” you furrow your eyebrows, thinking that he only uttered a random sound.

“Din Djarin. That’s my name.” You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. He finally told you. It took almost a whole bloody year but he told you. He trusts you that much.

“Din and in D-i-n or Dean as in D-e-a-n?” you genuinely ask, walking over to the control table leaning your lower back against it. Din mimics your action, turning around and leaning himself against it, next to you.

“I just revealed to you a piece of information that I have never told anyone and you’re worried about the spelling.” he scoffs crossing his arms.

“I’d like to know what name will be written on my death certificate if I ever get killed because of you.”

He laughs. He actually laughs. Suddenly the heavy and tense atmosphere that was being held between the both of you dissipates as you both relax.

“You have quite the sense of humor.”

“And it only took you 7 months to find that out AND tell me your name.”

Then, silence again. But this time it isn’t uncomfortable. Not like the one there normally is. It’s as if you’ve quite literally cleaned the air. It is now comfortable to just be in his presence, nothing else. Not like it wasn’t before, don’t get me wrong, but you always needed something else, something more. But now? You were content.

“Sorry about what I said earlier, the you’re no one part.”

You smile up at him “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not, you said it yourself, I was an asshole.”

“No I shouldn’t have --” he cuts you off.

“You should. You are right. I just...” “The real reason why I dismiss you so much is because I am scared.” Now that catches you off guard.

“Scared of what? Of me? Because trust me you have fought with creatures much more --”

“No, I am scared that if I let you in, I’ll end up going the wrong way. I’m scared that if I let myself look at you when I want to or if I let myself give in to how much I want to come back to you at the end of every day that I’ll end up destroying all this discipline that I’ve insisted on myself all these years.”

Wow. You have to steady yourself with your hands with this information that just hit you right in the chest. “If I let myself give in to how much I want to come back to you at the end of every day” those words echo in your head and make your heart beat faster. Does he really feel that way about you?

But you decide with your better judgment not to push that particular point as the simple fact of him revealing the tiniest bit of his true feeling has already pushed him much farther than what he was willing to.

“I never asked you to take off your helmet.”

And little do you know that maybe you two are more similar than what meets the eye as now it’s his time to think Really? That’s the one thing she chose to answer?

“I know. And you’re the first person to not ask me that.” he says.

“Because I respect you. And I know how much it means to you, to keep your principles.”

“Is that all it is? Respect?” his heart is beating so fast and his body heat as come way up that the canvas and beskar around his body suddenly feel too itchy and warm.

You decide against your better judgment and toy with the idea.

“Why, did you expect anything else?”

“What- no no I didn’t ---” he stumbles over his own words, trying to still seem like the bigger person, but you cut him off.

“Din.”

“Hunh?” his helmet snaps in your direction and, maybe you are seeing things, but you can almost swear that you can see a pair of worried eyes through the black visor.

“I like you too.” and just like that the galaxy stopped. He almost forgot how to breathe weren’t it for your own alternated breathing that reminded him to allow that mechanism to happen again in himself. “And I’m willing to wait for whatever it is that you need to feel to be comfortable enough around me, and to let me in.”

There’s a sweet silence as you rest your warm hand on top of his leather-gloved one, your warmth passing through the fabric and he looks down at it in awe, his heart swelling like never before.

Suddenly you feel yourself being pushed in Dean’s direction from the opposite side from where he is leaning against the control board. You try to subtly resist it but the force gets too strong at once and you are plunged to his front. Thankfully he is quick enough to catch you and press you flush against his chest.

Both of your breathings are extremely accelerated and your heart is pumping in your your ears with the sudden movement. You can feel his gloved hands on the lower of your back. Then, you both slowly look to the side, to the sound of a coo only to find the kid, on the ground in front of you both, little hand outstretched.

“That little shit.” exhales Din.

You get your hand up and swiftly smack the back of his helmet.

“A little respect, that’s your son.”