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eat-limes-bitches · 3 months

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Attitude Adjustment

PAIRING: Female! Chiropractor! Reader x Avenger!Bucky Barnes

SUMMARY: Pain affects everyone. Even 106-year-old assassins

WARNINGS: Smidge of Angst, mostly Fluff. Grumpy! Bucky. Some of Bucky's negative self-image but very little. Talks of chiropractic adjustment so cracking joints but nothing too bad. Sam's a little shit. Probably poorly written but oh well.

Word Count: 1006

A/N: Hey guys! I know the last two posts have been really heart-wrenching so here is something a little light-hearted to counteract what I'm gonna be posting next. I am going to be starting chiropractic school in the fall and I know that it has really helped me with some chronic pain stuff that I have going on even with my crazy high pain tolerance so thought Bucky could use some adjustments too!

Enjoy! <3

Dividers by Rookthorne

Y/n watched Bucky from across the gym, analyzing his movements as he tried to continue his set. There was a slight dip in his step as he walked over to the weight plates and a subtle clench of his jaw as he lifted the plate onto the bar. Maybe he’s just sore, she mused as she returned to her stretches. The room around her was slowly disappearing when there was a loud bang and a shout. She jumped, eyes flying open as she shot her gaze across the room where Bucky held his ribs under his left arm while Sam laughed.

“What’s wrong, tin man? Age finally catching up to you?” Bucky shot a nasty glare at the man,

“You won’t be laughing when I drown you in the creek,” Bucky growled as he took a threatening step toward Sam.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Sam placated as he took a step backward. “I was just messin’ with ya man!” Bucky just glared at him again and knocked his metallic shoulder against Sam’s as he stormed off towards the exit. Sam made eye contact with Y/n, shrugging his shoulders and motioning towards the door as if he were saying, ‘Get a load of that guy’. Y/n shook her head and made a mental note to check on him later.

Sometime later after Y/n had finished her workout, she ventured to Bucky’s room, pausing just outside the door. Steadying herself with a breath, she gently rapped on the door. There was a deep groan from the other side of the door, and before Y/n was able to make some space between her and the door, it flew open, revealing a rather disgruntled Bucky, eyes narrowing as he took in her form.

“What.” He grunts out glare unwavering from her smaller form in the doorway. Y/n steadied herself with a reminder that he was in pain and to not let it get to her. She instead matched his gaze.

“You’re in pain.” She stated cooly observing his reaction as he shifted weight off of his left leg, rolling his eyes.

“Right, ‘cause you can tell from across a room.” He scoffed. Y/n let out an indignant huff as she looked him up and down.

“You’re favoring the left side of your body, and anyone can see that. Your hips are crooked from compensating the extra weight on the left side of your body. You have a slight limp which is throwing your body further out of alignment, and since Steve pinned you during training on Tuesday, you’ve been protecting your left ribcage which was then further aggravated from your bench pressing today.”

Bucky stared at her, eyes wide. “H-how do you know all that?” Y/n’s gaze softened as she gave him a gentle smile.

“Buck, I’m a chiropractor, I’m trained to see these things. I can help you feel better if you’d like.” She noticed the hesitance in his eyes as he thought about her offer.

“You know you are allowed help right?” She whispered, placing a hand on his arm.

Bucky searched her eyes for a moment, waiting for the other shoe to drop, for her to pull away and just laugh, tell him it was all a joke, and walk away but it never came, she just stood there, hand spreading warmth through his arm, smile sending butterflies straight to his stomach. Letting out a breath, he nodded, letting Y/n take his hand and lead him to her office.

The room was bright, the afternoon sun coming in through the window painted everything in a golden glow. Y/n motioned to the table in the middle of the room.

“Here, lay face down for me.” She said gently, patting the table. Bucky did as he was told, and melted into the comfortable cushion as Y/n danced her fingers up and down his spine. She paused at the very base of his neck moved her fingers towards his shoulder and gently pressed down. Bucky yelped slightly and jerked away from her touch.

“I’m sorry Buck, I won’t do it again but that just confirmed my suspicion,” Y/n murmured as she walked around the table, placing the heel of her palms on his upper back.

“Yeah, and what's that?” Bucky grumbled, starting to regret his decision.

Y/n gave a sharp thrust, and a satisfying pop rang out through the room, startling Bucky. “Your first rib was out of place.” Bucky pushed himself up to look at Y/n wide-eyed.

“My first rib is out of place!” She just smiled.

“Was. I put it back. That's what that sound was.”

This went on for a few more minutes. Y/n would palpate different parts of his body, there would be a pop, and Bucky make some sort of surprised noise. Eventually, Y/n made the last adjustment and helped Bucky sit up before taking a seat next to him.

“How do you feel?”

Bucky rolled his shoulders before stretching both of his arms above his head. His eyes widened as he snapped his head to meet Y/n’s gaze. Shock was written all over his features as he stood up and wasn’t greeted with the sharp sting that he had grown accustomed to in his lower back.

“Wow, that-that’s amazing!” He sent a heart-stopping grin in Y/n’s direction.

“Thank you, Y/n I feel much better.” He said sincerely, taking Y/n’s hand in his as thanked her. Y/n blushed.

“Of course Bucky. Anytime.”

The pair wandered into the main living room where everyone was gathered. Bucky gave Y/n’s hand one last squeeze before strolling over to Steve and putting him in a headlock, laughing and carrying on. Y/n smiled as she watched them when Sam wandered over.

“What did you do to him?” He asked. Y/n just smiled, not taking her eyes off of Bucky, who was now arm-wrestling Tony who was using his suit.

“Nothing really just gave him an attitude adjustment.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes #bucky fluff #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x chiropractor reader #bucky x chiropractor reader

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r0reep · 2 years

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Rec list

Stranger things, marvel, marauders era, the umbrella academy, slashers

Stranger things

EDDIE MUNSON

Tongue

Eddie Munson smut AND Jason Carver slander. What could possibly be better?

Such a strange girl

Eddie and hippie being cuties.

Movie night

Bat Eddie and his uncle Wayne.

Noodle

Ferret dad Eddie.

Family

Wayne being a protective uncle and so much comfort.

STEVE HARRINGTON

Stay awake

The softest and fluffiest angst around.

Pretty

Steve deserves all the praises.

Dream

Cutie Steve beginning his dad life.

BILLY HARGROVE

Welcome to the party

Kind of ooc Billy but being a protective cutie.

Road gate

Very soft Billy with sadness but fluffy ending.

Marvel

BUCKY BARNES

Personal pillow

Kick your feet, twirl your hair type of fluff.

Pocket angel

Cry your eyes out type of fluff.

Sweeter than sugar

Chubby Bucky owns my heart and soul, forever and always.

Your protector, forever

A dark but soft Bucky.

Can you not

Possessive Bucky is a hot Bucky.

The bet

People being meanies to Bucky and a protective reader.

Serendipity

Bucky just trying to live with an unhinged neighbour.

Around my neck

Bucky being a silly jealous boy.

STEVE ROGERS

Religion

Dark Steve and innocent reader.

LOKI LAUFEYSON

Little realisations

I agree tall people are scary.

End credits

Loki being a sweetie.

Hot tea

Jotun Loki smut. Chefs kiss.

Marauders

JAMES POTTER

She hexed me!

Stupid lover boy Jamie.

SIRIUS BLACK

That doesn’t leave us many options

Cutie Siri and beautiful references to blanket forts.

REMUS LUPIN

Easy sleeping

Soft domestic relationship.

REGULUS BLACK

Regulus Black x Potter!Reader

Dramatic James and soft Reggie.

The umbrella academy

FIVE HARGREEVES

Music to my ears

Cute husband and wife shit. A whole lotta caring Five.

Hotel waffles

Retired loving Five.

Partners

The best type of relationship.

My little stress eater

Softest five around. All the fluffs while still being a bad bitch.

Slashers

Slasher cuddling HC

Falling asleep on slashers

Slashers s/o with tattoos

Slashers reaction to their s/o laying on top of them

Slashers with a demon s/o

Giving slashers massages

Slashers with s/o who has weird cravings for inedible things

Slashers with s/o who proves their loyalty to them

Hide ‘N Seek (Bo Sinclair)

Blind (Bo Sinclair)

Yautja with a chiropractor s/o

Wasted on a dream

Wound tending (Bo Sinclair)

Kissing slashers in a panic before they kill you Part 2

Male yautja trying out a period cramp simulator with his human mate

Michael and Jason with a reader who plays the sims

Miscellaneous

MATT MURDOCK

One more time

A soft and fluffy fic that provides Matt with love and happiness.

SPENCER REID

Every last bite

Cute Spencer and magic baker, so cute!

AARON HOTCHNER

Home sweet home

Aaron being protective and little rage for spice.

The Walking Dead

DARYL DIXON

Day drinking and it’s consequences

Glenn and reader being drunken simps. Cute Daryl just trying his best.

No matter what they say

Grumpy and sunshine.

Found you

The cutest reunion and Merle being a good guy.

A single punch

A truly heartbreaking and stunning story, Maggie being amazing.

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itsapeterthing · 3 years

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Worth the Risk || Bucky Barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader

summary: when bucky and sam get captured you have to go in alone to save them leading to a worried, overprotective bucky who cares about you a bit more than a teammate should

a/n: reblogs and replies are super appreciated!!

word count: 2.2k

warnings: description of violence, injuries, a gun, dagger and blood, swearing, angst w/ happy ending

masterlist || taglist

“Bucky?” You whispered through the earpiece. “Sam? Where are you guys-”

Sitting in the van, you began to grow worried as you couldn’t find any of your teammates on the screen after they had turned around a corner. Tapping the earpiece, you were about to speak again when you heard Sam’s voice on the other end.

“Y/n?”

Sitting forward in your chair, you breathed a premature sigh of relief.

“Sam? Thank God you guys are okay.” You told him. “I was worried when-”

“Y/n, listen,” Sam cut you off, his voice a near whisper. “They got us- me and Bucky- but I think you’ll be able to take them out if you think you’re ready for it.”

You began to feel your heart race in your chest just at the proposition. Although you had joined the group almost half a year ago, you had never gone on a mission by yourself- always having others to back you up, but you knew Sam well enough that he wouldn’t have suggested the idea lightly. If he asked you to go in alone... you knew it was because there was no other choice.

“Okay.” You said. “I can do this, Cap. I’ll be there soon- just hold on.”

With that, you left the vehicle, making your way into the building. When the door of the facility closed behind you, you raised your gun.

“You shouldn’t have told her to come in here.” Bucky told Sam, pacing around their cell. “If we couldn’t handle it together, what makes you think that she can do it by herself? You’re going to get her killed-”

“Buck,” Sam said firmly. “I know you’re worried about her, but she can handle herself. She’s our only shot of getting out of here so I’m gonna need you to calm down.”

Sitting himself down in the corner of the room, Bucky said nothing more to Sam, instead placing his head in his hands.

Bucky knew logistically that you could handle yourself- you were on the team for a reason- but that didn’t mean he didn’t worry about you. He worried about you all the time- even in training- nagging Sam if he threw you down a bit too hard and feeling his heart drop to his stomach when bruises littered your body after a mission. He hated seeing you get hurt, but as he sat in the cell with Sam, knowing that you were coming into the building all on your own- he felt as though he was going to be sick.

Now he wasn’t there to watch your back. He wasn’t there to make sure you wouldn’t get hurt. He wasn't there to make sure you didn't get yourself killed- the thought of it too horrible for him to even allow himself to think about. He worried because he knew in your line of business, every wrong move could be fatal and he couldn’t bare the thought of not having you by his side every day.

Listening to the sound of water leaking from the sealing above him, Bucky prayed you would be alright.

Turning a corner inside of the building, you were hoping the same.

Peaking around the edge of a wall you spotted two men, armed with batons. Taking a deep breath, you aimed for one of the men’s bullet proof vest, taking the shot and knocking him to the ground. Immediately the other man ran towards you with the baton raised in his hand.

Ducking as he swung the baton, you threw a punch to the man’s stomach, knocking him backwards, but just as you did the other man hit you in your back with the baton.

“Fuck!” You screamed out in pain, taking the man’s arm between your knees. You pulled the baton out of his hand as you stretched it in the other direction, causing him to yelp out in pain.

Once in your hand, you spun around, swinging the man in the face with the baton, knocking him unconscious. Dropping it to the floor, you pulled your taser from your belt, shocking the other man, forcing him to the ground.

“Y/n?” You heard Sam ask through the earpiece. “Y/n are you alright?”

Shoving the taser back in its slot and raising your gun once again, you stepped over the two men’s unconscious bodies, running down the hallway.

“I am now.” You huffed, placing one of your hands on your lower back. “When this is over, you’re paying for my chiropractor.”

Turning another corner, you were met with a man and a woman standing at the end of the hallway.

“Are you guys always in pairs?” You asked. “Frankly I think it’s unfair.”

When they said nothing, just raising their batons from their belts, you spoke up again.

“Where are my friends?” You asked more seriously.

“You’re about to find out.”

The woman running at you first, you hit the butt of your gun in her face causing her to wobble backwards but the second you did, you felt a burst of searing hot pain run throughout your face as the baton collided with your nose. Stumbling backwards, you felt as another of the baton’s swings hit your midsection, causing you to double over in pain.

The man tugged your collar as you felt another blow connect with your face.

Wheezing, you dropped the gun to your side.

Standing in front of you, the woman slid her baton back into her belt.

“See?” she said. “I’m sure your friends will be happy to see-”

As she spoke you carefully slid your dagger out of your belt, but before she was able to finish her sentence, you threw it cleanly at her, the dagger jamming itself through her shoulder, sticking her to the wall.

“Shit!” She shouted in pain.

Immediately afterwards, the man grabbed your coat shoving you against the wall only to throw another punch to your mouth. Rather than giving him the satisfaction of yelping out in pain, you headbutt the man, causing him to stumble backwards into his partner. Grabbing the baton from his hand, you swung it over his head, knocking him unconscious.

Spitting blood onto the ground, you heaved as you picked up your gun and the keys from the man’s waist, making your way over to the room on the right.

Swinging the door open, your eyes immediately fell onto the reinforced cell in front of you, Bucky and Sam rushing to the front. Stumbling over to the cell, you unlocked the door, swinging it open and leaning against it.

“Y/n?” You heard Bucky’s voice first as he ran over to you. “Fuck, look at you.”

Moving his hands to cup your face, not being able to help yourself from wincing, Bucky could feel his heart shatter in his chest. Sure, you had a few bruises here and there in the past but never this bad.

You had a deep gash across your nose that he was sure would need stitches along with a cut along your lip and a large bruise forming around your eye- and that was just your face.

Looking up and seeing his worried eyes, you shot him a quaint, bloody smile.

“You should see the other guys.” You joked.

You attempted to laugh, only to wheeze and begin to cough.

“Y/n this isn’t funny.” He said seriously. “You could have died. Sam should have never asked-”

“Bucky,” You cooed, reaching your hands up to cup his face. “I’m okay. Besides, I couldn’t leave my favorite boys in here could I?”

Feeling your fingertips against his face, he couldn’t help but melt into your touch. You always managed to make him a lovesick mess as if he was still fifteen and not a one hundred and six year-old man who had been to hell and back.

“Hate to break up the reunion,” Sam said. “But those guys will only be out for so long. We got to get out of here.”

After falling asleep on the car ride back to the Compound, you woke up in bed, the dim glow of the lamp shining on the night stand above you. Opening your eyes, you pushed yourself up in the bed, only for a shooting pain to spread throughout your torso. Not able to stop yourself, you yelped out in pain.

“Hey, hey,” You heard none other than Bucky’s voice beside you, one of his hands coming to rest on yours while the other adjusted your pillow. “Take it easy.”

“I am, Doc.” You lied, leaning against your newly adjusted pillow.

Tucking you in, Bucky shook his head, leaning on the nightstand beside you.

“We should have never let you go in alone.” He sighed, leaning his head on his hand. “I just felt sick the entire time. You could have died, Y/n. If they just hit you in the wrong spot... I’m never letting you go in alone again. I’m not letting you leave my sight.”

During your time as a member of the group, you and Bucky had grown incredibly close and during the past few months maybe even closer than friends. It was normal for him to worry- you never even had to wonder where he was during missions because he always had your back- but looking at his face now you could tell just how worried he had been and you couldn’t help but feel your heart break.

“Bucky,” You hummed. “You go on dangerous missions all the time alone. How am I any different?”

A silence settled over the two of you as Bucky squeezed your hand.

Not meeting your eyes, he spoke up again.

“Because I can’t lose you.” Bucky said, his voice nearly a whisper. “I can’t even think about what would happen if anything happened to you, Y/n. Even seeing the cuts and bruises on your face? I’m... I’m not the Winter Soldier anymore, but I think if you put me in a room with those people I would kill them for what they did to you. I almost broke us out of the cell myself because I hated the idea so much of you going in there on your own. If something happens to me... it’s different. Nothing can happen to you, Y/n. Nothing.”

Staring at the super soldier sat at your bedside, you began to feel tears prick in your eyes. You had cared for Bucky in a way that you had been too afraid to admit- not wanting to ruin your friendship- but as he sat there, confessing his feelings for you, you couldn’t help but feel your heart tug in your chest, just wanting him.

“Do you love me?” You asked finally before you could stop yourself.

Looking up at your injured face, he felt his breath catch in his throat. He wasn’t able to read you in the moment at all, your face straight, seriousness laced in ever bit. All he could think was that even with the black eye and the stitches across your nose, he had never seen someone as beautiful as you.

He knew his answer. There wasn’t a single part of him that doubted it.

“Yes.”

Hearing his answer, you stared at him and smiled.

“Are you sure?” You asked. “Do you love me as more than a teammate-”

“Y/n,” He cut you off, squeezing your hand once again. “As much as I love working with you, every time you call me your ‘teammate’ I want to go find a punching bag.”

Trying to bite back your smile, you couldn’t help but chuckle.

You hated calling him “only” your teammate just as much as he did- if not more. Knowing that he hated it just as much as you the entire time you used the word to disguise your true feelings made you feel as if a weight had been lifted off of your chest despite the aches that still consumed your being.

Bucky was more than your teammate, he was your partner.

“Oh Thank God.” You laughed. “I can’t tell you how many I’ve knocked off the hook after you called me your ‘friend’.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, he leaned in closer to you.

“What are you saying?” He asked.

Shaking your head in disbelief, you reached your free hand up to his hair, brushing it back with your hand.

“I’m saying,” You smiled. “that I love you too and that I’m not going anywhere, Buck.”

Leaning into your touch, a smile finally reached across his face. “You know, if it weren’t for your stitches, I would kiss you right now.”

“So my face isn’t too messed up then, right, Doc?” You asked. “If you still want to kiss me and all...”

Reaching your hand up to his lips, he pressed a soft kiss to your skin.

“You could never look bad, doll.” He hummed. “But promise me you won’t do that to me again. I almost had a heart attack, Y/n.”

Leaning your head against your pillow, admiring him, you smiled.

“I promise, Buck.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes oneshot #Bucky Barnes drabble #bucky barnes blurb #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff

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roselen-mylady · 4 years

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In Another Life

Bucky Barnes x reader ° part seven

Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.

But the pain in their lives were connected.

Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occured she lost him.

And Bucky never got to meet her.

The diner was quiet, despite the time of day. Light chatter echoed around them but Y/n could hardly notice, her gaze and attention all focused on the large, green man before her.

Bruce Banner was another idol of hers. He was one of the only brains to compete with hers, aside from Tony Stark, and she admired his work. It was his work after all that had attracted her full attention in that diner.

The once timid looking man who stood small and nervous during lectures now sat confident and relaxed upon his chair, shoveling the biggest portions of food she had ever seen into his mouth.

When Steve and Nat mentioned a genius her mind had immediately come to the much more civilized Hulk, but he wasn't their first stop. No, when they pulled up at a small cabin outside of the city, she was confused.

It was secluded so it was easy to convince herself that they had arrived at Bruce Banner's home but that idea was thrown out the window when a familiar figure stepped away from the small tent out front. She recognized him in an instant and sunk back into herself once realization struck that she was at Tony Stark's home.

"Who's the new girl?" He asked, curiously sending a glance Y/n's way as he adjusted his hold on the girl in his arms.

"Dr. Y/n L/n. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stark." Her voice cracked slightly but he didn't seem to mind as he reached out for Y/n's hand, shifting the small girl to his hip.

"Iron Man fan?" He questioned, his grip on her hand soothing in a way. Y/n offered a short shrug, sending a warm look to the girl Y/n assumed was his daughter.

"More of a 'Tony Stark the philanthropist' fan." A shy smile caked her face and Tony found himself returning it. It was new to him, the way someone admired his true persona rather than the superhero he had made himself to be. It was a welcomed feeling.

"Well, Doc, since I've got you here-there's this pain in my neck." Tony slipped his hand from her own, moving to rub a spot on his neck. His daughter let her fingers entwine with his own as he did so and the heartwarming smile he gave her reminded Y/n very much of her own father.

It seemed forever ago since she last saw his proud grin and she allowed herself to wonder what he would think of her life. What would her mother think? Would they be proud? Or would they share the same disappointment she now felt in herself for lying and cowering for so many years?

"I'd recommend a chiropractor, I'm afraid I'm a PhD type of doctor." Her tone was strained, Steve being the only one to notice it. He knew she was thinking of her past. It was a look he had seen on too many people. A look of loss. He just wished she'd finally let down her walls.

"I feel like I know you."

Tony's statement sent a chill down her spine but she did her best to ignore the feeling, allowing yet another smile to grace her lips.

"I wish." Y/n gave a short giggle, forcing away any suspicion Tony might've had. His eyes lingered on her for a moment but ultimately turned away, carrying on with their reason for visiting.

Despite their pleas, Tony rejected their idea not that they could blame him. And while Y/n would've loved to work with him, she had just been ecstatic to meet the famous Tony Stark she looked up to all her life.

He was the reason she took such an interest in science and technology. She was once trained to be the next Tony Stark after all. It was interesting seeing how different their lives had ended up, Tony choosing a life away from people while she chose to help them. She still admired him and she absolutely fell in love with his daughter, Morgan, an innocent replica of her father.

There had once been a time when she imagined her and her soulmate having the stereotypical suburban life; married with kids. However when the snap occured, any hope of that life died with her soulmate.

Yet this didn't stop her from pondering an alternative. She wondered if she and her soulmate did have a life together, what it would be like? What would he be like? Was he funny? Was he kind? Was he charming? Were his eyes really blue?

"About what we were saying…" Steve said, capturing their attention once more. Scott wore a baffled and angry look after the whole picture interaction and Y/n couldn't help but be amused as he sat next to her with a pout.

"Right. The whole time travel do-over? Guys, it's outside my area of expertise." Bruce explained. Y/n's heart sank and she sighed, her eyes subconsciously searching for Steve's. His eyes were still hopeful and he turned away from her trying to convince Bruce to help.

"Y/n said she could get it started. Couldn't that help?" He questioned, almost desperate as Y/n shared a look with Bruce. She could tell he wanted to help just as much as the next guy but their entire plan rested on something that came straight out of a movie.

"Steve, leading an experiment like this would be impossible if I don't even know where to start." Bruce tried to explain gently. Nat stared at Bruce, her expression unconvinced and even a little encouraging as a soft smirk twisted on her lips.

"Well, you pulled this off. I remember a time when that seemed pretty impossible, too." She replied. Bruce fell silent, looking down at himself as he contemplated the decision. It would be risky but they didn't really have much else to lose, right?

•••

Bruce had come back with them to the compound and after explaining the strategy she'd come up with, Y/n set off to find Steve.

He'd been quiet since she'd asked him the truth about Bucky. She regretted it, having pushed him so far. But she was also kind of relieved.

Finally she understood how her life had fallen apart. Understood why the man she feared had done what he did.

She even understood why his eyes had looked the way they did that day. The pain and suffering within them made sense and the eyes that accompanied her nightmares only filled her with heartache.

Would the guilt ever fade? Or would she just continue to find more things to feel guilt for?

After a bit of searching, she found Steve in his room, leaning against the headrest of his bed. The room was neat and if it hadn't been for the few personal effects on the dresser she would've argued it wasn't lived in. In a way that was true since a majority of his nights were spent at her apartment whether it be movie nights, game nights or simply nights spent together doing their own things.

Steve looked up from his sketchbook when she softly knocked on the door frame, leaning on it as he set down the book.

"Come in." She wordlessly padded over, climbing up to sit next to him. Their shoulders brushed and the calming effect that came with her presence uplifted his spirits causing him to look over at her with a tender smile.

"Let me guess. You wanna know what's wrong." He acknowledged. Y/n studied his thoughtful eyes, shaking her head with a brief exhale as she turned away.

"You have a way of staring into someone's soul. Did that come with the serum or has it always been like that?" She asked him, her tone teasing yet a little genuine. He shrugged letting out a small laugh.

The sound out her at ease, telling Y/n that he wasn't angry. At least not at her. Their interaction in the car had hurt both of them and Steve didn't want to continue it any longer.

"I don't know. I guess I've always been a little intense." His smile faded slowly, allowing his gaze to fall back on the sketchbook. He'd been drawing a familiar sight, unable to get his best friend out of his head.

Y/n followed his stare, landing on the drawing scribbled onto the page. Respectfully reaching over and picking it up, she looked up at Steve. He made no effort to stop her, watching as her finger traced the curve of the face upon the page.

It was a rough drawing due to Steve's lack of time to really add the details he wished to but Y/n had seen plenty of his art so he didn't mind as much. Her lips parted but she didn't speak instead creasing her brow as she intently stared at the page.

Steve had drawn Bucky plenty of times before but shamefully most had been of the Winter Soldier. He used drawing as a way to drag certain images from his head and nothing haunted him more than the monster HYDRA had made his best friend into.

Yet this drawing was different. He drew him the way he remembered Bucky, from before the snap. When he was getting better.

On the page was a tired man, a man she'd never seen before. There was a permanent crease in his brow, decades of pointed stares and menacing expressions having worn it into his very features. A bit of stubble had grown on his face and his hair was long like she remembered. Even his expression as exhausted staring back at her with a weak smile.

Y/n wondered what moment Steve had drawn this from. What had happened to make Steve catalogue this within his memories. She wondered what had caused that look in his eyes.

The eyes that stared back at her were completely different from the ones she remembered, though she knew they belonged to the same man. These were kind yet weary: eyes of a man who had broken by war and hate but still felt things like compassion. A man who saw the worst of the world but still chose to protect it. .

"This was him?" She mumbled softly, meeting Steve's uncertain gaze.

He nodded, watching as she looked away from him.

This picture seemed to be her breaking point.

All the rage and all the terror, all of it melted into the already overflowing pool of self hatred. How could she bear to think about the grudge she'd held against a man who despite everything that the world had done to him, still fought Thanos that day when the world ended.

Today she had learned all at once the man behind the one she feared and all the hate she once felt was unjust. And as much as she wanted to hold onto it, she just couldn't.

It was wrong.

"You can keep it if you want." Steve offered once she had handed him back the sketchbook. She began to shake her head, trying to reason it meant more to him than to her but Steve had already pulled out the page handing it to her.

"To remember who he really was." He reasoned.

Y/n held it tenderly in her hands, taking care to lay it in her lap as if touching the page in any rough manner might damage the man displayed on it.

When the silence came it didn't feel as suffocating as before. They sat there on his bed for an hour in that silence. Y/n was grateful for the time to think, trying desperately to come to terms with everything she'd been told.

And it wasn't until Y/n was about to get up and head home for a change of clothes that Steve spoke, breaking the silence.

"I know why you came." Steve said suddenly, making her lift her head to peer up at him. Shame flushed over him and Y/n could feel her heart drop. "You want to know why I wanted you to stay so bad. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"You think keeping me around was a mistake, don't you?"

Steve's expression morphed into shock and he instantly shook his head at her assumption. Allowing him to take her hand in his, she felt a bit ashamed for how hurt he was by what she had said.

"No. Never. I want you here because I sincerely believe you can help us. You can help me." Y/n sighed, her eyes landing on their outstretched legs. She let him idly circle his thumb along the back of her hand, trying to fight the urge to argue.

"I want to help, Steve. And I think I can, just..." She trailed off. "This is your thing, Steve. Not mine. I'm not equipped for this. I wish I was, I really do."

A frown tugged at his lips and his lashes brushed his skin briefly as his eyes fell on his lap. He knew it was unfair to her to bring her into this and it certainly wasn't okay to keep her against her will but he needed her.

"I know. And I'm sorry. Just-" He cut himself off, shifting on the bed to face her better. She watched with an unsure gaze as he took both of her hands. "Ever since I could remember I've done what I thought was right and for a while it worked. But the past few years, I've ruined so much."

His voice was hushed and Y/n could see how troubled he was by his furrowed brow and clouded eyes. His eyes were trained on their intertwined hands, her touch filling him with a familiar ease. One he'd known all his life.

"Things have gotten too hard. Being Captain America isn't white and black anymore and when we lost, I didn't see a point. But then I met you and things were easy again. I didn't have to be Captain America, I could just be Steve." He confessed.

He felt guilty, not that his words weren't true. If anything, this was the most honest he had been with her. But the guilt that seeped into his heart came from Bucky. He hadn't just failed the world, he failed all of his friends, all people he would fondly consider his new family. Could he really risk losing again?

"I don't know if that even makes sense but I need you here. I need to be Steve." He dared to take a glimpse at her, fearing she might condemn him. Instead a warm smile graced Y/n's features, patient and kind like Bucky always was.

"Okay." She whispered, her heart clenching as she forced the simple word. She couldn't shake the feeling that her luck hadn't yet turned. Everytime she tried to help, it destroyed everything around her. She couldn't let that happen again. "I'm gonna go get some stuff from the apartment then you have my wholehearted assistance."

Y/n carefully tucked the picture into her pocket before climbing off the bed, standing next to it as Steve swung his legs over the edge. "Do you want me to go with you?" He offered. She shook her head, pulling her hair up and tying it.

"Nah, I'll be ok. What, you scared I'll run away?" She attempted to lighten the mood. Steve chuckled as she walked over to the door running her fingers along the wall before pausing. He watched her small frame hesitate before shooting a short glance back at him. "Hey, uh- just…don't do anything stupid till I get back." She pleaded, earnest concern in her tone as he pushed off the bed.

A soft smirk came to his face and he lifted a shoulder in a lazy shrug. "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." He replied instantly, not giving it too much thought. Y/n scoffed, rolling her eyes and letting her fingers wrap around the doorframe as she stepped out into the hall.

"Grandpa's got jokes now." She offered a genuine laugh, her smile lingering upon her lips.

Then she disappeared down the hall, leaving him standing silently in the now empty room trying in vain to brush away the painful overlap.

•••

When she got back to the apartment she packed a bag of essentials for herself, making sure to stop by Steve's room and pack a few extra clothes in case he needed them. Speaking of the man, she scoffed looking at the full sink.

"Steven Rogers, I swear." A long sigh filled the quiet apartment as she set about washing the dishes he'd promised to take care of. While she was at it she took care of a few other chores since she wasn't sure when she would be back again.

There wasn't much to be abandoned at the apartment other than a few plants but they'd been dead for a couple days at that point. She never had been one to have a green thumb but Steve claimed having them around gave the apartment some life.

Ironic.

The walk back to the compound was peaceful even in the constant gloom of the city. Knowing there was a shift in the atmosphere filled her with a new type of feeling, one she hadn't experienced in a really long time.

There had been people on the street, going about their business. Everything was dulled compared to life before the snap but she hadn't noticed until she knew there was something to be done. How many times she had gone about her life while something was happening behind the scenes that she had been so painfully oblivious to? Perhaps that was why the Sokovia Accords had been created in the first place.

There were so many close calls the Avengers prevented that the public didn't even know about until it was on the news. Though she didn't agree with the Accords she understood the government's wish to be more aware and even in control.

Once reaching the compound, Nat let her in through the gate and Y/n began her trek to the building. Tugging her hair free of the hair tie, it fell loose around her face and she cringed at the grease starting to build on her scalp. Moving through the halls of the compound, she let herself really explore.

Despite years of friendship she hadn't really been at the compound for longer than a few hours at a time, most of the visit being spent in the training room with Nat. Steve explained he wanted to keep his friendship with her separate from his life as an Avenger and since she had been doing everything in her power to forget her past, she appreciated the separation.

As she continued to wonder, she hoped there'd be a shower somewhere on the large complex. But before she could ask anyone, her silent venture was cut off by the sounds of very frantic voices coming from a door to her left. Hesitantly she stepped through, finding herself in a large open space with a very odd scene.

The horrid van had been brought in and the back glowed while what looked like a portal swirled inside it. A baby, she assumed to be Scott, stood on wobbly feet in a crudely made suit as everyone turned to her with alarmed expressions. Y/n dropped her bag and rushed forward, pushing Bruce aside as she pointed for Nat.

"When I say kill the reactor, kill it!" Y/n demanded, adjusting the calculations on the panel as Nat rapidly walked over to the reactor.

"Kill it!" Y/n called. Nat's frantic hands quickly pulled down the knob, turning off the reactor before looking back over to the van. Scott had returned to his position and normal age, his face contorted in shock and confusion.

"Somebody peed my pants." Scott proclaimed making Nat sigh, walking over to them. Y/n let go of her own sigh of relief, stepping away from the control panel. Bruce looked over the work she'd done, his eyes widening for a split second before returning to Scott.

"God, I leave you guys alone for one hour! I told you not to do anything!" She cried, sending an aggravated look at Steve. He cowered under her detested glare, bringing his hand to the back of his neck.

"But I don't know if it was 'baby' me or 'old' me...or just 'me' me." Scott elaborated, earning an annoyed stare from Y/n. However Bruce did not share her agitation, holding up his hands dramatically.

"Time travel!" He announced, a proud grin on his face as he looked to the others for the same enthusiasm. Steve refused to reply instead shaking his head and stalking off toward the exit while Y/n tried to calm her racing heart. She made them promise to wait for her. She knew something like this would happen.

"What? I..I see this as an absolute win!" Bruce called after Steve. Nat and Y/n looked at one another before moving to check on Scott. He was fine other than some wet pants and suit which Y/n painfully took knowing they'd need the suit for another test run, one she knew she'd be leading.

"Here, Bruce." Y/n tossed him the suit. He caught it with a scrunched nose, holding it at arm's length with a disgusted expression.

"That's what you get for not waiting."

Part eight

Taglist:

@cancanmarvel

@jessyballet

@eldahae

@mc225g

@kissesofdeadforme

@wantingtobekorra

@sxphiiwrld

@lunaticbarnes

@indecisivedolly

@saiyanprincesswanie

@lextheflexsthings

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cautious-creation · 3 years

Text

Steve plays guitar and only Bucky knows

Fandom & Character: Marvel (MCU); Captain America/Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan), Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson), Hawkeye/Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner)

Pairing(s): (suggested) Captain America/Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) x 1st person reader; Clintasha (non-romantic)

Word/page count: 1200+ words

CW/TW: none I noticed

Summary: Reader hears Steve playing guitar and offers to be his vocalist ft. an Ed Sheeran song.

Author’s note: This is based on an imagine / headcanon type thing I’ve lost in the internet over time. I wrote this when I was in grade...9?...ish. I mention it because I don’t like it much in hindsight.

It'd been yet another day of intense training. Natasha and Clint were in charge of planning and coaching the torturous activities for me. Target practice, boxing, sparring and flexibility training were included in my morning 'workout'. I walked through the tower, past the living quarters of the avengers, who I looked up to and aspired to be like. As I turned a corner, I almost bumped into an, unusually cheerful, James Barnes.

"Hey." He acknowledged.

"Hi" I gave him a tired smile.

"How's the training going?" He must be in a pretty good mood, he usually doesn't seek conversation, specifically with me.

"I know I shouldn't complain about having such an awesome opportunity, I mean; I'm training, and living with the Avengers, but Lord knows this is draining me." I stretched my back sideways, I was sure to be hella stiff the next day. James chuckled. Okay, he's probably the happiest he's been since he returned from that mission where they destroyed a HYDRA based he'd been trained in. I'd have to bring it up with Steve.

"I assume you're referring to training with a couple ex-assassins." He smirked.

"I swear, Clintasha are going to kill me in the gym downstairs before I see my first mission with either S.H.I.E.L.D or you guys."

"Clintasha?" He looked at me quizzically. Had I said that aloud?

"Ugh, Hawkeye and Black Widow. Please don't tell them about that nickname. I find it easier to refer to them like that considering they're pretty much always together." He smiled.

"Sure, I'd prefer to postpone your apparent inevitable doom. You make good food." He walked off chuckling and shaking his head then saying ‘Clintasha’ and laughing louder.

I continued my journey to the destination shower when I heard a familiar set of chords being played on an acoustic guitar. It definitely wasn't the original song, or any other recorded version of it for that matter, based on the pauses between strums and small mistakes that appeared occasionally.

G, C, G, G, C and C. The appropriate rests were in between each strum which were each their specific length to play the fun, quick paced song that Ed Sheeran gave to the world. It was being played slowly, as if the musician was unfamiliar with the song.

A couple of repetitions of the first verse later and the soft hum of the melody could be heard as the guitarist added sound to where the lyrics would be sung. I quietly sang the lyrics as I neared the source of the music.

"It's late in the evening, glass on the side, I've been sat with you for most of the night." I reached the closed door separating the world from the beautiful sound resonating from inside the room.

"I need you darling, come on set the tone, if you feel you're falling won't you let me know."

I took the chance and knocked on the door to the room of one of the Avengers, I was about to find out who.

The song stopped, I could hear some shuffling, then footsteps on the wooden floor approaching the door.

It opened to a slightly flustered Steve Rogers, probably a bit embarrassed by the possibility of him being caught playing an Ed Sheeran song.

"Oh, I was expecting...never mind. How can I help you?" He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could help you, sir." I suddenly became incredibly shy, fiddling with my fingers and lowering my head in the presence of the beautiful piece of man in front of me. My role model and superior.

"I believe you may want a vocalist? Quality playing deserves to have a melody accompany it, don't you think?" I was certain to be blushing by now.

"You sing?" He smiled. I nodded.

"I took lessons before I got involved with S.H.I.E.L.D, participated in a few national competitions actually, I was asked to be the lead vocalist when my friend started a band too. I'd be glad to practice with you if you'll take me." I shrugged.

"You know, I'd really appreciate the help." He started heading back into his room before turning back to me.

"On one condition." His face was stern.

"Name it." I smiled.

"No one finds out. Neither of us would ever be able to live it down if anyone finds out, especially Tony." He picked up a classic wooden acoustic guitar.

"I assume we won't be performing for anyone then." I smirked.

"Absolutely not." He chuckled.

----------

We'd gone through the song about five times when the door flew open revealing an otherwise occupied James Barnes.

"There's this song I thought you'd....oh." He looked up to see Steve holding his guitar and me holding a Stark-Pad for the both of us to see.

"I see you finally took my advice, Stevie." He smirked placing his hand on his hip almost sassily.

"No one finds out, huh?" I quipped, surprised.

"Only Bucky knows." He shrugged questioning whether or not I'd accept that as a reasonable excuse.

"Okay." I shrugged.

"What advice?" I asked James.

"To get someone to teach him how to really play."

"Really? You think I know how to play guitar, actually, more importantly: you think Captain Rogers needs a teacher." I was baffled, he got that song down in under ten repetitions.

"Omg, please don't call me that. It makes me feel old." I laughed. They looked at each other confused, which only made me laugh harder.

"Really?" I managed to stop laughing.

"Modern acronyms don't suit you, first off; and secondly, it makes you feel old? Seriously?" I looked between the 90 something year olds, the one desperately trying to stifle his laughter while waiting for the other to understand.

"Oh, you mean because I am old." James sighed and covered his face with his hands. I just smiled and shook my head.

"This is why you fail so miserably at communicating with Tony, buddy." Bucky walked off chuckling and muttering ‘old man’ to himself.

"From the top?" I asked, walking back to where the lyrics were being displayed from the tablet at the foot of Steve's bed.

"Miss Y/L/N? I believe you are due for another round of training." J.A.R.V.I.S.' voice sounded, causing me to groan.

"Can you let Miss Romanoff and Mr Barton that I'll be down once I've returned from the physio therapist, chiropractor and spa. Just make sure they know that was sarcasm."

"Last thing I need is for a couple of ex assassins to have reason to torture me further than what they already do." I muttered.

"I could train you if you'd like. I have a feeling we'll work better when it comes to communication and knowing physical limits. You do need to be able to walk tomorrow." Steve suggested.

"That's allowed?" I asked hopefully. He nodded.

"Oh please! Please, please, please!" I begged. I grabbed onto his shirt, genuinely desperate.

"Okay, if you're done being weirdly affectionate with our boss, I believe we have some training to get done." Clint smirked as he entered the doorway.

I dropped my head awkwardly, stood up slowly and smiled through my intense blush, hoping that my expression was as innocent as I needed it to be.

"um...I'll just...head down so long. I'll see you there." I started walking.

"Preferably the hottest of you three." I muttered, looking back to see Steve discussing (intensely) with Clintasha.

#fanfiction #fanfic #Marvel #MCU #Avengers #Captain America #Steve Rogers

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peacefulwriter88 · 4 years

Text

Epilogue: Reprieve the Punishments of Yesterday

Part of the Hades & Persephone Steve AU Series

Steve Rogers x WoC, Bucky Barnes x WoC

Catch up on the series here

Warnings: SMUT, 18+

A/N: I know I said this was going to be in three parts buuuuuttttt I had to write this last part. It's the last (maybe) and brings some closure to this series. I also have never written the reader character as one single strand of thought - I always captured her from the eyes of Bucky, Steve or her mother so I thought it would be fun to finally show the reader unshackled by the filter of others

I enjoyed very much exploring my love or the Greek gods played out with these MCU characters and hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed creating them.

_________________________________________________________

I made Hades run to me. He saw my bones beneath and offered me half his kingdom. Do you really think I ate the fruit unwillingly? - Anonymous

Our apartment is quiet. It's Friday afternoon and while the city bustles with energy, another warm spring day that was fighting the former winters cold our home lies still. The buds for the variety of flora, spices and greenery that I’ve planted weeks earlier are already peeking out of their boxes among the windowsill, the air dances with dust in the sunlight and the faint smell of jasmine and hickory lingers in the air - my perfume braided with Steve’s cologne.

I close the door quietly - perhaps Steve has had to leave on an unexpected mission; they’ve picked up more and I’m left a few hours to figure out how to share the news with him. The thought gives me relief as I hang up my jacket, place my bag and purse on the console table as I start to sift through the mail, briefly pause and drink in the fresh vase of peonies that he’s replenished on the dining room table.

It was a lofty thought.

Steve’s steps are heavy and silent but they betray him enough as he emerges from his studio, walks down the hallway with a smile on his face as he wipes his hands on a rustic red cloth. He’s covered in paint, overpowers his white shirt and worn jeans and handsome features of his face, the strong biceps in his arms. Mentally I make a note that I need to take him shopping, that he’s somehow gone through yet another month's worth of clothes and wouldn’t think to go shopping without my urging. His face is clean of the beard I’ve learned to adore, fresh faced and revealing his sharp cheekbones, chiseled jaw that still steals my breath away.

He smiles at me the same time I smile at him - how could one person still make me feel like I’m falling in love over and over again three years later - and before I can speak I’m in his arms, gravity an afterthought as my legs naturally wrap themselves around his waist.

“Hello Ms. Benedetti.”

“Hello yourself Mr. Rogers.”

He leans in for the kiss before I can finish the words and I moan into his mouth, treasure the way his tongue lavishes my own, tighten my hold around his neck as he carries me into the kitchen, placing me on a counter. When he pulls away his breathing is hard and he’s giving me that sinister dark look that causes my stomach to drop, my panties to flush themselves in desire and he moans knowingly, mouth raking down my neck.

“Steve, no. We can’t. Sam, Natasha and Bucky are coming over for dinner a few hours from now and we haven’t started anything at all.”

He pauses mid kisses - there’s something bothering him in the statement I’ve said - but he doesn’t reveal it. Instead he pulls away and smiles at me.

“You’re right.”

He still has that dangerous glint in his eyes, lust dancing in his irises and I take the opportunity to lean away from him to rest my head on a cabinet, tug on his shirt.

“How was school?”

He smiles, leans into my touch, keeps a nose distance from my face to his,

“It was fine. I got an A on my last project. Got out of class early, went over some reports for some upcoming missions. Got some work in.”

“Sounds like a very productive day. Congratulations on your A.”

“Ummm hmmm,” he bends, nibbles on my ear, causes a giggle to erupt from my chest. “How was your day? How was rehearsal? And your mother when she found out that you’re going to tour in Italy this summer?”

He says the last part lowly, his distaste to her reaction from the last world tour still bitter in his mouth. His hands find my legs, wrap them around his waist again as I breathe out,

“It was good. A very good day. That pain in my hip has gone away, and the chiropractor thinks that I’m healing well from the surgery on my leg. My mother reacted...the way my mother reacts. But she did express her happiness that I was even considered. She sends her regards.”

“Hmmmm.”

His mouth is busy on my neck, hands moving up my back and dragging me closer to him. It's a lost cause, we didn’t know boundaries to our love and I had rejected his advances this morning when I realized I had woken up late. He was insatiable, needy and I wiggle my hips in his embrace, whisper out,

“You have an hour Rogers. One hour. Then I need to start on the pizzas I promised everyone.”

He lifts me, causing me to laugh as he pulls back enough to look me in the eye.

“One hour.”

______________

Love making with Steve evolves every time, is a mystery that appeals to my mood and I wonder how he knows what I need from him, what I savor.

This afternoon he’s lazy in his touches, kisses me languidly and possessively, hands exploring each part of me like it was the first time again. He’s mindful of how I respond to his touch, takes pleasure in going down on me immediately, his tongue lapping at me hungrily until my need for him is admitted through my words. He takes pleasure in having me ride him until I orgasm not once or twice but until I’m exhausted, he wants me to be worn out as his hands find my hips and juts into me, ensuring that I can feel every inch of him. He watches me reverently, in that way that makes my heart stop and my lungs give away, reminds me that I was given the gift of love.

He’s selfless, only comes upon my urging and when we lay in each other's arms sticky, fingers skating down my arm slowly as he presses another kiss to my forehead I know he knows. Don’t know how he would but something tells me he does.

He confirms it in an innocent question,

“How was your doctor's appointment?”

I hum, watch the way the late afternoon sun falls on our photo hanging opposite on the wall - him and I on our one year anniversary in the coffee shop we met in.

“It was good.”

I try not to have my heart betray the anxious thoughts that have plagued me for four months, the question confirmed in two simple words.

“Your health is good?” I nod and he hesitates, “....and the baby?”

I lift my head up at him and he watches me, cool blue eyes that drink me in. His face doesn’t betray anything and I try to keep the same stoic look but know that I feared his answer. I still answer,

“Yes.”

He looks at me, smiles though his eyes start to betray the fear that also lives in me,

“I didn’t think I could get you pregnant.”

“I didn’t think you could get me pregnant.”

A pause,

“I’ve never thought about being a father. I don’t know if I want to be.”

“That's okay,” I don’t mean for the tear to fall down my face, “I don’t really know if I want to be a mother.”

He wipes it away, drags his lips across my own.

“I don’t know if I want to be a father because I gave up on that future a long time ago. I……..I love you though. I want you to be happy.”

“I want you to be happy.” I counter back and he pulls away.

“So do we keep it?”

“I don’t know.” I laugh, more tears falling down my face. I bite my lip, rest my chin on his chest. Keep my eyes on his.

“I like knowing that I’m carrying your child.”

He smiles, cups my cheek. He doesn’t deny the tears that start to fall down his eyes.

“I like knowing you’re going to be the mother of my child.”

I sigh, raise my eyebrows,

“We’re going to keep it then, aren’t we?”

He laughs, brushing a fresh tear from my cheek,

“Yea. I feel like we are.”

_______

Bucky and Natasha are late.

Sam, Steve and I pass the time playing charades and munching on the bruschetta I whip up while Steve and Sam sip on expensive wine that Tony has gifted Steve and I. Occasionally I check on the pizza cooking in the oven and salad already whipped up and it's halfway through Steve guessing Spock and my admonishment that Steve even knows what Star Trek is that there's a knock on the door.

I answer it to find a disheveled Bucky in our doorway, black hat disguising his normally bright blue eyes, hands stuffed in his jeans as he gives a slight smile to me. It doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Hi Bucky, are you okay?” I move to let him in and he shrugs, his eyes avoiding Steve and Sams.

“I’m fine.”

I want to push more but know it won't serve anyone so I ask the next absurd question,

“Where’s Natasha? Running behind more than usual?” I try to tease and he shakes his head, moves away from me towards the living room.

“Not coming.”

He doesn’t stop at the couch, or even to snag a drink but instead moves to our balcony, shutting the door snug behind him. I close the door, turn to Sam and Steve who are giving knowing looks to the other, avoiding me.

“Steven Grant Rogers,” Sam snickers as Steve flickers his eyes to me. “Explain. You too Samuel Thomas.”

My voice is stern as I cross my arms. Sam looks at Steve, who gets up and walks toward me.

“Don’t put your hands on me until you explain what's up with Bucky and Natasha.” I say as I put up my hand he sighs.

“They broke up.”

“Why?” I ask Sam and he shrugs,

“I actually have no idea. Natasha just told us that Bucky was a piece of shit and she never wanted to see him again. And she might cut off his dick in his sleep.”

My eyes look to Steve who is watching me, a knowing glint in his eyes and I place my hands on his chest, lean up and kiss him, his hands automatically wrapping around me protectively.

“What are you going to do?” he whispers lowly when I pull away slightly and I give a small smile.

“Finally telling him the truth.”

___________

Bucky doesn’t look back at me when I slide the door open, step into the cool evening as I close it behind me. Sam and Steve have turned music on, are checking on the pizza and chatting lowly among themselves and I stand at Bucky’s side, nudge him softly.

“Normally I’m the one trying to avoid all the commotion.”

He smiles, slightly, looks over at me. Watches me in the heartfelt way he always does, eyes saying far more than his words.

“You know, don’t you?” he finally asks.

“I bullied your friends to tell me.”

He sighs, looks back into the horizon.

“They know why?”

“No,” I lean closer into him. “But I do.”

His head snaps to me quickly as I look down at my fingers.

“Natasha didn’t tell me.” I look back up at him and he watches me curiously. On guard.

“Who then?”

I’m silent as I look back at him, sigh as I return my eyes to the sunset.

“Bucky, do you remember the first time you met me?”

He looks away from me, that shameful way he used to before we had gotten closer, when he’s trying to deny something in himself.

“It was….two years ago. With Steve. At that cafe you both like.”

It's a small mumble that I can barely pick up as I look out into the sunset.

“No it wasn't. It was three and I wasn’t with Steve. I was standing in line and I let this couple step ahead of me. You looked at me and looked like a deer caught in headlights. I was listening to…….. I don’t remember aside from it was for a show, I think. I remember being hungry and thinking you were cute but my hunger won over your attractive looks.”

His breath wavers, his metal arm tightens around the rail we’re both leaning on but he doesn’t look at me.

“....what are you saying?” he finally asks and I shrug.

“I’m saying Bucky I know why you and Natasha broke up. It has to do with me.”

He looks over at me and I look back down at my fingers, picking at them. A terrible habit I couldn’t break from childhood.

“You never went to that cafe before that day. Neither did Steve. It was some strange coincidence that on that particular afternoon our paths crossed. And afterwards you were always there. Rain or snow or shine I could expect you and Steve in that same spot, Steve looking out the window aimlessly and you, staring into your cup of coffee until I walked in.”

I laugh, looking up from my fingers into the busy street.

“You really flattered me you know. This handsome guy checking me out every day. It was the first time any man had given me that much attention. I was waiting for you to ask me out but you never did.”

I finally look over at him and nudge him and he scrunches his eyes together.

“You noticed me?”

“Yes. And then you disappeared one day. And Steve remained.”

Bucky bites his lips, presses into the rail. It creaks and he pulls away slightly,

“You went to Steve first.”

“I did. But that was innocent. The cafe was packed and I wanted to read my book. It was the only spot open and I at least felt like…..I don’t know I could sit there and he wouldn’t bother me. Steve never paid me any mind, even when I walked by him. I liked that. He was Captain America but he never flaunted this celebrity, this power he has. It made me feel like I could read in peace and move on.”

“But something changed.” his voice is laced in pain and I resist reaching out, grabbing his hands.

“Yes. The second time I walked by Steve I was looking to sit at the table next to him. It was his art that grabbed my attention. It was the only reason why Steve asked me out. And...admittedly when I gave him a second glance he took my breath away. I liked being in his presence. I liked the safe, calming effect that came from being around him. The way he looked at me. I don’t think I could have fought it,” he turns away from me, eyes burning. “That’s the point Bucky. I know you….I know how you feel about me. I know you won’t let it go. Me go. Steve’s told me about when we first started dating. About you….following us.”

Bucky whips his head toward me in fear. Ashamed.

“Don't be upset. Its okay Bucky. He told me because he felt terrible about the way things played out. But you need to know that I love you, but not like that. I don’t think I ever will love you…..like that.”

I place my hand carefully on his shoulder and he flinches, eyes tearing up.

“Of course.”

“Doesn’t mean your unworthy of it though, the kind of love Steve and I have for each other,” I whisper lowly. “Doesn’t mean you can’t give it. Natasha really loves you. You should…..well not now she might actually kill you but you should fix that. I know she’ll let you after a while. She’s told me how she feels about you. I think you really care about her too and you just let me get in the way.”

He breaks, hands falling into sobs and I wrap my arms around him, draw him close.

“What if I can’t. What if can’t get over you?”

I sigh, rub his back.

“Oh Bucky. I don’t know. Why condemn yourself to hell when you have a chance at heaven?”

________

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