#because I know how deeply she feared being an embarassment

[handmade-witch]

Another round of Incorrect Quotes Generator x Slytherin Boys:

Part 1 ☆ Part 3 ☆ Part 4 ☆ Part 5 ☆ Part 6

Mattheo: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.

Draco: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

☆☆☆

Draco: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I’m not stupid, you know.

[Y/n]: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it!

☆☆☆

Mattheo: She's the girl of my dreams!

Theodore: You say every girl is the girl of your dreams.

Mattheo: I have a lot of dreams!

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Mattheo: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

[Y/N]: I—

[Y/N]: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

☆☆☆

Draco: I have an idea.

[Y/n]: A good idea?

Draco: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

☆☆☆

*Draco is laying on the floor with their eyes closed*

Mattheo: Hey, are they sleeping or dead?

Theodore: Hopefully dead, I hated them.

Mattheo: Yeah, me too.

Draco, sitting up: First of all, fuck you guys.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: That sounds like a terrible plan.

Theodore: Oh, we've had worse.

☆☆☆

[Y/N], texting Mattheo: Text me when you’re home safely.

Mattheo: I’m home dangerously.

[Y/N]: Stop it.

Mattheo: I’m home lethally.

☆☆☆

Draco: Hey, what have you two been up to?

Mattheo: We were helping [Y/N] write their vows, but they kicked us out because Lorenzo was making inappropriate suggestions.

Lorenzo: How is “Theodore, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

☆☆☆

[Y/N], talking about Mattheo: Is this a friend of yours, Draco?

Draco: Kind of? Not really. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

☆☆☆

Theodore: What is wrong with you?

Mattheo: Loaded question. Elaborate.

☆☆☆

Draco: Guess what I'm about to get!

Blaise: On my nerves.

☆☆☆

Blaise: All of your existences are confusing.

The Squad: How so?

Blaise: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you deeply upsets me.

☆☆☆

Draco: How did you convince everyone to betray me? What did you offer them?

Blaise: I just asked if they wanted to embarass you and they all said yes.

☆☆☆

Theodore: Hey, are you okay?

[Y/N]: Yeah.

Theodore: You don't look okay...

[Y/N]: Then stop looking.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Ah ready for another fantastic day of being better than Draco.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Kill me nowwwww.

Mattheo: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.

☆☆☆

Mattheo: Lorenzo! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.

Lorenzo: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

☆☆☆

Draco: You read my diary?

Blaise: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

☆☆☆

Blaise: [Y/N] won’t come out of their room!

Mattheo: Just tell them I said something.

Blaise: Like what?

Mattheo: Anything factually incorrect.

Blaise, shrugging: If you say so.

[Y/N], arriving moments later: Did you just say the sun is a PLANET?

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Lorenzo: Theft.

Blaise: Disturbing the peace.

Theodore: Aggravated assault.

Draco: Arson.

Mattheo: All of the above. In that order, probably

☆☆☆

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Blaise, with Theodore and Mattheo behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes…three.

Blaise: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

Blaise: Lorenzo FUCKING FELL OFF!

☆☆☆

Mattheo: I said ‘No’ to drugs, but they wouldn’t listen.

☆☆☆

[Y/N]: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.

Lorenzo: You and me!

[Y/N]: *tearing up* Ok.

☆☆☆

Theodore: *yawns*

[Y/N]: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Theodore: Then you must be exhuasted.

Blaise: Will you two shut up? Some of us are lonely.

#slytherin boys #lorenzo berkshire #theodore nott #blaise zabini #matteo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #blaise zabini x reader #theodore nott x reader #theo nott #lorenzo berkshire x reader #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #harry potter universe

[darling-drag-brainrot]

hi there milo!!!! how are ya? it's question time <3 tell me a story about yourself. any story, from any time—yesterday, when you were four years old, middle school, anything. don’t focus on making it interesting or cool, just tell me something that feels nice to talk about!! is there an old friend you miss? a sledding hill you used to go to? what was the last meal you made? tell me something, but be sure to add details!!

Omg hi!!!!! Thank you for the questions because I love love LOVE hearing from you and I love answering stuff lmao 💖

Okay so a story I love telling because I am lovesick and also obnoxious is the story of how me and my girlfriend got together because it’s hilarious and silly and very U-Haul Lesbian trope of us 🥺 Also,,, apologies in advance this story is long because it contains so much backstory and I cannot shut up about my girlfriend because they are amazing.

So, imagine you’re me. You’ve just moved into your new building for your second year of college. You have some super cool new friends in said building and a super cool, super chill roommate. And all you could want now, is a girlfriend. Though you assume that’s not something you’re gonna get for a LONG time, which you’ve made peace with.

So, One day, I’m sitting in the communal kitchen with some of my building-mates. We’re all just chatting and joking around when one of my friends from down the hall let’s us know that his roommate finally moved in. This is shocking news because by this point it’s almost two weeks into the school year and while we knew said friend was supposed to have a roommate, we had yet to see them and had just assumed they’d never move in. None of us at this point have met them, and we have no idea what they could be like. My worst fear is that they’ll end up being the most frat bro kind of cishet white man to ever exist.

Spoiler Alert : They weren’t that.

Just as we’re speculating about this mystery roommate someone new enters the kitchen.

The prettiest person I’ve ever seen in my life enters, soft smile on their face and I’m instantly smitten. They have long, flowing black hair with a reddish tint, large brown eyes, deeply tanned (as in clearly non-white tan), and despite the fact they’re in extremely simple casual clothes they carry themselves like an off duty model.

I think in that moment I reached a new plane of existence because I vividly remember feeling my heart skip several beats.

Then they introduced themself.

Their name was Sasha. They were a third year. And they used they/she pronouns.

And to top it all off, they were the elusive roommate that we had just been speculating about.

Imagine you’re me in this moment. Faced with the most gorgeous creature in the world. Informed that this gorgeous pretty creature is now living down the hall from you. You can only imagine my internal panic. Though I tried to rationalize to myself that with how busy college students are, I’d likely never seen them outside of briefly passing each other in the hall. Hopefully I’d not have to see them again, because if I had to interact with them more than once I’d probably embarass myself.

So about an hour later my friends and I are still in the kitchen long after Sasha has left to unpack, and we’ve switched to the topic of the previously open door to one of the empty rooms in the hall which had mysteriously been locked earlier in the day.

Cue Sasha entering the room.

Cue Sasha overhearing us.

Cue Sasha proclaiming they know how to lockpick.

Cue about an hour straight of Sasha gathering everything they can from paper clips to bobby pins to butter knives as half the building gathers to watch them try to break into this locked door.

Then once this plan fails they drag their roommate around the back of the building to simply slip in through the window and unlock it from the inside.

Cue the plot twist.

The reason the door is locked is because the room is no longer empty. Someone has moved in. And Sasha nearly just climbed through the window, stopped only by the fact they saw all the luggage that the new person had left in the space.

So Sasha and us all abruptly stop lockpicking and as people scurry back to their rooms I sit back at my kitchen chair to watch Sasha begin wandering around the kitchen, rambling nonsensically about memories and erasing doubt and stuff that sounded vaguely cult-ish.

They tear down all the informational posters stuck to the communal corkboard before gathering my friends to crucify a large stuffed bear to said corkboard in a way that resembles a cult-ish crucifixion of Christ.

Fun.

At this point I am confused, intrigued, and mildly worried that this cute person is legitimately off their rocker. But once the bear is crucified they scamper off to bed with a big smile on their face and in my ‘ooooh pretty person’ haze I simply accept the fact that sometimes the hottest people are the kookiest.

I expect this to be the last I see of them but from that point on I start seeing them every time I’m in the kitchen (as that’s my favourite place to study). They sit next to me and chat, we browse Etsy together, we chat incessantly all the time, every single day until my friend begins asking me when’s the wedding.

This culminates in Sasha and I staying up ALL night in the kitchen on a whim- chatting, doing makeup, and being obnoxious as hell (I found out in the morning that everyone in the building could hear us talk all night cause the walls were so thin and I felt so bad).

And so, to not have everyone in the building constantly pissed at us for chatting so much, I one day (about two weeks into our knowing each other) invited Sasha into my room.

They immediately made themselves at home on my bed and we chatted for hours. My roommate came in and struck up a conversation with them and before I knew it I had woken up in the morning with Sasha wrapped around me like a blanket.

Now at this point I am even further smitten for them. They’re funny, creative, smart, unpredictable and a very good person to talk to overall. So maybe I invite them back to my room the next day hoping they’ll end up staying the night again. And when they do, under the pretense of it simply being ‘cozy’ and I am thusly emboldened to bring them back to my room a third night.

So, the day of the third night my best friend and I go out to lunch and I ramble about Sasha for approximately two hours. My best friend immediately demands I ask Sasha out because (and I loosely paraphrase here) she had ‘never seen my eyes light up so much’ when talking about another person before outside of maybe when I talked about Louis Tomlinson from One Direction for several hours straight.

I tell my best friend that maybe- MAYBE- I will admit my feelings to Sasha… at some point.

I admittedly was like 99% sure that Sasha liked me back by this point due to them sleeping in my bed multiple nights and also the ways they would make romantically themed jokes to me constantly under the guise of ‘teasing’ (the second night I woke up and got ready for my class with them crooning for me to ‘come back to bed my dear husband’ and I nearly collapsed).

But I was anxious and also scared and a little bit of a wimp.

Then, at dinner, I’m sitting with my roommate, their friend, and Sasha. Sasha and I are holding hands in a totally platonic normal friendly way (I swore) and chatting when the friend turns to us and goes ‘Are you guys dating?’

I freeze like a deer in the headlights and struggle to respond. Because NO we technically are not dating but I don’t want to say no too agressively because then Sasha my think that I’m disgusted by the concept of dating them and will feel bad.

After a long silence my roommate states that me and Sasha are not dating.

About five minutes later the friend smirks and goes (to me and Sasha) ‘Okay, but you guys have hooked up before right?’

Cue me and Sasha agressively shaking our heads and denying this because we have not in the slightest.

The rest of the meal was unbearably awkward from this point on.

Then: Night Three.

It is is one in the morning, Sasha is in my bed, we are literally cuddling and staring into each other’s eyes and I can’t take it anymore so I blurt out.

‘You know I’m attracted to you right?’

Because subtlety is dead and I can’t think of anything smarter to say.

And Sasha goes, ‘Good, cause I’m attracted to you too.’

And then I launched into a long ramble about how much I liked them but I was worried and didn’t want to label us or go too fast because I had emotional trauma still from my previous girlfriend and I liked Sasha so much it maybe scared me.

And Sasha listened and smiled and comforted me and told me we’d take it as slow as I needed and they would always respect my boundaries.

And then (because omg how sweet is that - I had never had someone be so understanding before) I felt the insane urge to kiss them but because I was still trying to take it slow I simply kissed their cheek instead.

Then badda bing badda boom we fell asleep and I woke up buzzing with excitement as I told my roommate (who was unbelievably happy for me) and my friends and my best friend (who all were just waiting for Sasha and I to figure it out) that I now had a girlfriend.

Then uhhhhhhh time skip to now and me and them have almost been dating for two months!!! How awesome!!!!

They’re super sweet and awesome and I talk about them on my Instagram all the time and I once had them sit for like two hours while I infodumped about RuPaul’s Drag Race and Crygi and Drag Con until they agreed with me that Gigi Goode is fantastic. And I also made them read some of my fics which they thought were cute!

Okay that was SUCH long winded story I am SO sorry but I just get excited when I talk about my girlfriend cause they’re sweet as pie and also I just think the shift from me thinking they were cute but nuts to spending every hour of the day with them to literally having them sleep in my bed for several nights before I asked them out after knowing them for two weeks is hilarious.

Especially because ever since we got together my girlfriend hasn’t slept in their bed in their room for more than like three days. They just sleep in my room (shout out to my roommate who literally doesn’t mind and actually thinks it’s cute and has invited in Sasha as the unofficial third roommate).

Yeah so that’s my story gjdnfnfnf sorry it was a novel.

[mayathescientist]

some of my oc x canon musings under the cut, i don't know how to properly introduce this couple so there will be no introduction only insanity

(Tomoe Hōzuki is lana skye's original japanese name) (also this takes place after Umaru got PICd out for mafia connections and is now a mailman, and Tomoe is out of prison and works as a detective again)

tomomaru isn't just "well the same brand of fucked up thing happened to them both so they should be together for that sole reason", its also Umaru's insane devotion and admiration finally being directed at a right person for once, he knows that for sure now, – she's a warrior of justice and truth, strict, firm, deeply thoughtful, commited to getting her ideals right and having no reason to deceive – and now that he knows he won't be serving evil, he is actually more than ready to serve again. just this time it wouldn't be either the "blindly accepting your orders" type of servitude or the "quietly providing you with everything you might need" type of servitude, not the "politely not showing my evergrowing fear and exceeding wish of death at your sleepover so that I don't ruin it" type and not the "stubbornly and covertly trying to get you to finally admit that you're human so that I can finally help you" type. not the "swallowing abuse because of devotion and or admiration" type. not "forever in debt for having you in my life".

his acts of service will be small acts of help just because he can – helping her carry two bags of groceries to her house, holding the door for her, hanging her laundry when he's already over, watching over her house while she's on a trip. his acts of service will be small, silly and effortless things to make her feel cared for – enough to make her happy, not big enough not to scare her – making her favorite tea perfectly after the first few times of having to ask, making tea unprovoked to go along with a conversation, when she's cold or feeling tired, offering her a bite of his taco at the bus stop, knowing she's probably going to refuse, but smiling so genuinely anyway; leaving an envelope with a bar of classy german chocolate in her mailbox once, accompanying it with a silly drawing of his face so that she wouldn't have to worry about who its from. his service will be ready to risk to stay by her side and have her back in a fishy case or carry out small spying missions for her detective needs. it will be him unconditionally supporting her in what she does and stands for and still being able to correct her when she's wrong, because for the first time in his life, his devotion isn't based on fear.

tomomaru is also about perpetual caretakers finally being cared for, the stunned, reluctant acceptance and having to manage gratitude like math and not fall to their feet or walk off without a thank you in embarassment. it's about being two lonely, distrustful, socially isolated people and being able to relax around each other so easily it beats any butterflies in the stomach by a long shot. it's about being conditioned to only be able to express your love through sacrifices or service and your circumstances and secrets forcing you to keep a distance from loved ones, then meeting someone new and not have to do literally anything all that hard to be close to them – it just happens, you don't have to do much to connect, no sacrifices or services – and you end up still doing, because you just want to, because its them.

tomomaru isn't just "well the same brand of fucked up thing happened to them both so they should be together for that sole reason", its also Tomoe's newfound deep respect for a man who doesn't even really understand the severity of the hell he's been through, but he's made it through all these years still intact; his situation is making her wonder if she would have been able to, if she'd have to. and he just shrugs it off as if it was easy – as is if it's not anything to be proud of. she sees so much in him that he doesn't even acknowledge in himself – she sees that he's an amazingly well-educated person, strong-willed and hard-working, spending a sizeable percentage of his life studying for vastly different professions and gaining a thousand more various skills; she sees how well he understands other people and gets along with them, no matter how they approach him or talk to him, dealing much more easily than most people with disdain, condescendence, mockery, being able to help anyone and explain all sorts of things to all sorts of people. she sees how he cares more than anything about helping and not hurting – a true doctor at heart, holding himself to the highest possible moral standard and trying his best to cling on to his purpose through all adversity, surviving another day just to be able to help someone who needs it. she respects it in him immensely, seeing him as one of the most exceptional people in her life, and she wants to make him see just how much meaning he has. even more importantly, she wants him by her side and in her life.

she wants to talk to him, to know him, to keep in touch and think about him at random times throughout her day and smile every time; to get to know him better, to learn him like science, peeling him layer by layer. what does he think about the hunger games? does he believe in free will? what's his favorite weather? what's his warmest memory? does he think its possible to achieve full and ultimate justice? does he think they should try? what does he want for dinner tonight? and after she knows him, she wants him to keep her company. to keep him company. no longer having to talk, sharing a peaceful life, still talking anyway, enamored with each other's worlds. resting quietly together.

#maya posts #maya writing #maya's aa oc tag #they make me emotional...

[llycaons]

ep 25 (pt 3): MOM HOLY FUCK

I didn't want to screencap every single thing jyl said during her epic takedown, but I couldn't help myself. I think I missed like, three lines. but it was so thrilling I was back and rewatched the entire scene again. after episodes of watching wwx be disrespected, and knowing his history with myu, and knowing later how important being publicly supported is to him, this scene...wow. take it away, queen

IT BEGINS

oh and there's sect leader yao nosing in to give HIS unwanted opinion. look at her face lmao. and does he only have one set of robes? is he wearing the same thing to the night hunt as to the victory banquet? wow, embarassing. anyway, back to jyl murdering jzx in broad daylight

HE DID!!! AND IT WAS HARD!!

cut to wwx, clearly deeply impacted by this affirmation of their bond

RESPECT MY BROTHER OR SO HELP ME

HE'S WITH US!!! WE'RE HIS FAMILY AND HIS HOME!! AND IF YOU'RE RUDE TIO HIM YOU OFFEND ME AND ALL OF THE JIANGS!!!

and fuck, isn't this kind of acceptance and belonging something wwx has wanted for so long? isn't this one of the things that hurt him so badly to lose, and something he craves when he comes back? having a home, a community, belonging somewhere, having people ready to stick up for him and affirm their connection with each other in no uncertain terms. in the face of cruelty and disrespect, given the ife he's lives, of course that means a lot to him. it means everything, especially now

and madam jin still trying to keep this quiet, be a good girl and move along miss jiang, let the men go about their business and don't interfere. and jyl says absolutely not, this is important to me and I care about my brother and I will have an apology

this isn't something jc could have done for him, for many reasons, and it's one of the reasons that their relationship just doesn't have the same affection or stability as jyl and wwx's does, or lwj and wwx's does postcanon. in fact, I'd argue that jyl and wwx have a much stronger (and definitely healthier and more mutual loving) relationship than jc and wwx. because…idk, jyl was able to love wwx absolutely unconditionally, she wasn't hampered as much by a terrifying mother, a negligent father, and the pressures of leading the sect, and she never let her insecurities or her pain spill over into physical or even emotional attacks. she never made her problems wwx's problems, and she never blamed him for existing and being more liked/more skilled than she was. he definitely wasn't honest with her about everything,' but he was able to be more open and vulnerable with her than he could have been with jc. I can't imagine wwx going to jc to ask tearfully if LP was his fault…and jc would probably say it was. after all, he tried to strangle him about it and holds it over his head DECADES later. I wish jyl had the been the one to survive but ig that would have been a significantly less fraught story

I just think being safe around someone and being able to express your fear and pain and vulnerability is a really important part of having any kind of functional and healthy relationship, and it's really sad that circumstance and personality made that impossible for jc and wwx

omg poor jgy comes in like :) what's wrong, honored guests? and madam jin is such a bitch to him!

THIS WASN'T HIS FAULT. he has committed many crimes but he wasn't to blame for ANY of this. and how could he tell what was going on immediately by coming in? it was a really specific set of events that just went down involving people whose interpersonal dynamics he probably barely knows

you know you're acting like a real piece of shit when sect leader yao has to tell you to calm down

wwx and jyl are not seen as siblings by the rest of the cultivation world, probably because jfm never formally adopted him. (WHY???? bc of myu??), regardless jyl stands firm even in the face of accusations that he's dangerous and will bring trouble. something her mother always said, too. but jyl loves her little brother and she's not about to abandon him like everyone else. and she doesn't not even at the very end, she loved him so much she sacrificed her LIFE for him god I feel ill

a lot of conversation around whether jc and wwx see each other as brothers, which is probably not the case in the book based on some meta posts I've read about it. it's a little hazier here but I def see them as brothers and I'm still really skeeved out by ppl who ship them. there's way too much gray area and oh yeah, they have the same sister

back to jzx being a complete loser. madam jin trying to ger jyl to come along and her deferring politely until madam jin snaps at her son and he YELLS THIS in front of a massive crowd of sect leaders and disciples and then he runs away in shame I'm DYING god he's so fucking funny

and this scene! wwx is so polite to madam jin and she just ignores him! I refuse to believed jyl would have married jzx if he was still shitty to her brother (and/or homophobic) but there is no saving the rest of his family. girl why'd you marry in 😭

but I read a fic once (the simplest step forward or whatever the shit it was called) where jzx was this drunken, crass, homophobic lout and I was DYING because even if jyl had married a guy who was aggressively homophobic to her brother (she wouldn't) THAT'S STILL NOT HIS PERSONALITY AT ALLLL he's an awkward and well-meaning rich kid who extended genuine kindness to his illegitimate half-brother, uses formality to cover his true feelings, personally dug a lotus pond so the girl he liked would be less homesick if they got married, and died trying to prevent his cousin and future brother-in-law from killing each other. he had a shitty phase as a teenager but he's a good dude as an adult! and he does have dad energy, I agree with that one post

uh oh! wwx removing jc's hand from his arm! hopefully this isn't a heavily symbolic gesture the last time they truly see each other as allies

jc getting SO mad here because his pride is injured...wwx being so good at things is never something he'll be able to swallow easily, but he's letting his feelings get in the way of the fact that this makes the jiang clan stronger and if he supports and embraces wwx's abilities...idk, maybe nothing would have changed. but jgy did have a point all those years later. if wwx had stayed with the jiangs, perhaps the jins would invent an excuse to attack. I don't have a ton of faith in the nies and lans to go against them. regardless, he could have responded to this better. those anger issues...

#I thought we only had one scene left but I had to make a whole other post #it was actually two scenes and the first one deserved so much attention #cql re-rewatch

[lets-talk-spirituality]

People think sex is everything when they haven’t had a lot and because society tells you it’s this thing that validates you.

The biggest lie women ever believed from men is that being desired sexually gives us worth. Dudes did that so assholes can still get laid since our self esteem has been destroyed.

Men aren’t shit, I promise and the sooner you accept this the better. Sex with someone you don’t care about is empty usually. It’s just to fill a need. I can share a poem on my feelings if you want.

Yes! People conflate sex with intimacy. A lot. Especially men. You don’t want to have empty sex. Promise.

////////

1⁰- wow i'm so glad i found you :) so casual sex is overrated. I think it must be amazing because people loooves doing and bragging about it 🤪 i feel embarassed for being inexperienced and i fear my future partner making fun of me or the sex with me not being good as the sex he had with others🥺 like comparing.

2⁰- i had a coworker who used to project her insecurities onto me, this was one of the reasons she treated me like I was inferior, she would get a man every saturday, but the male coworkers (she said she hooked up with 3, we were in a company, with multiple sectors) i don't want to say i'm better than her at all but i felt like the men respected me more(?) they never even liked to curse in front of me, immediately they say sorry. If you have high standards, is a way of being respected, don't you think?

3⁰ ah, men are far from going to heaven but I've never had an experience that makes me score DAMN MEN ARE SHIT, I hate harassment, I hate being at the bus stop. The way they look at me is scary, my facial features convey naivety and delicacy, which makes me wonder if they think they can do anything with me easy. One of them was even smiling at me (from the panoramic vision, i pretended i didn't see) and whistled low as I passed and had my back to him. I remember when one called me "little princess" I was in black leggings and a tee.

4⁰ the difference between sex and intimacy I learned other day in an insta account about spirituality lol, was mind blowing, i also learned about creative energy and sexual energy (if i'm not mistaken SF said Harry had a lot of creative energy).

1. I’m glad you understood what I was saying. People brag about it because it’s like associated with college life or like a phase. I think people think it’s like this coming of age thing, but you don’t have to choose that. No! Don’t fear inexperience and if a partner is an asshole over it they don’t deserve you. If you really are concerned, you can buy a dildo and kind of get some experience that way. I did that. I was always afraid to let a man have that level of power over me, so yeah I dealt with that myself, and so the first time me and my ex got together. He didn’t know. He didn’t know I had never had sex before him until like three/four months later.

2. Yes it is a way to be respected. Because of what I just went through and how I feel, I cant really talk about this. I know you don’t mean anything by your ask but it’s just the idea of like the virgin and the whore that you’re bringing up and that’s a dichotomy that deeply effects me.

3. I hope you never have an experience with a man that makes you think that. I hope you learn some self defense because the idea of your ability to be innocent with men and to have hope in them getting taken away so abrasively just hurts me to think about. I hope you learn self defense and feel confident but never need to use it.

4. I’m also sort of understanding the differences finally.

#ask box #deep talks

[brontes]

20, 31, and 36 for the aesthetic asks, if you haven't done them yet?

ah yay thank you!

20: what are the promises you’ve made to yourself?  when I think of promises I usually think back (forward is goals/challenges) so like I have some rather sad sounding promises but I’ve promised the self who was so lonely and miserable and alone that she wouldn’t be alone because even though she was then and I am now, I’m not going to forget her. Even if it’s more painful, she deserves to have her pain felt and to be known and I can give her that in a way.

31: if you had to choose three articles of clothing to keep for the next three years of your life, what would they be? Just three??? The black full-length skirt I made with my mom, my ripped up light wash jean shorts, and let’s pretend I have already replaced my black turtle neck with one that fits because I’d keep that.

36: have you ever wanted to be invisible? oh all the time. I think it’s the anxiety. Being invisible would allow me to observe and do without being observed myself which would relieve that nearly-ever present worry of being not-quite-right in doing things.

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#thanks for sending!! #sorry for being such a downer there haha #ask meme answers #jessicanjpa #answered #text #(also re:20 I don't wanna make it sad like I'm sad all the time #but like specific times are harder #and even when I'm happy I just don't want my past self to feel that I'm ashamed of her #because I know how deeply she feared being an embarassment #I'm happy and grateful to everyone who's participated #but especially to me #and I owe her that grace and forgiveness #and this is starting to sound really hokey)

[themountainsays]

Something i REALLY like about Isamilo is how both Camilo and Isabela put on a sort of performance that would make people assume something about their relationship that couldn't be further from the truth.

Because, yes, cousinfucking aside, let's look at one of their first interactions:

They absolutely look like... a highschool fuckboy trying to seduce the highschool mean girl who's wayyyyy out of his league. This scene doesn't make either of them particularly likeable. He's an idiot and she's a bitch. They probably wouldn't be more than a background joke about how he tries to pursue her and all the ridiculous ways in which she manages to reject and embarass him.

But we know that's not what they're like at all. Camilo may be a little shit, but he's also a certified Good Boy who takes care of his mom and loves his little brother and likes to babysit and play with kids in town. I think he likes to mess around with people, but there are a few instances in which he flips the switch and does his best to be sensitive and sweet and not say anything stupid. I'm mostly thinking about Pepa tbh. I mean, her brother made a joke about rain once and she still resents him twenty years later lol Camilo is NOT going to pull a prank on her. In that sense, I think he takes after his dad - funny, happy, sensitive, cares a lot about Pepa and doesn't want her to be scared. The tea scene says a surprising lot about his character.

And then we have Isabela, whose performance is a lot more extreme and problematic than Camilo's. Camilo is a reddit fortnite boy for shits and giggles, while Isabela is out there letting Abuela ruin her life in hopes of making the family happy.

So... I can see them sorta reflect Félix and Pepa's dynamic. Nice sensitive funny boy and anxious sad girl. I just keep thinking about Camilo waltzing into Isabela's room ready to play a prank on her or something only to find her crying, and he goes "oh shit" and flips into Good Boy mode and gets her some tea and let her freely talk about her feelings without fear of judgment. I think he could be that safe space she needs, much like how his dad is a safe space for his mom. He learned from the best, after all.

And Isabela starts seeing him in a brand new light because... and okay, this is mostly a headcanon, but I always got the vibe that Abuela had Isabela quite isolated from the rest of the family. She probably doesn't know her cousins and sisters all that much. So Camilo being such a sweet and sensitive soul must have come as a surprise, but she's not complaining. It's quite nice actually.

Camilo, from his part, never expected Isabela to be anything but mean + hot, and contrary to popular belief Camilo is NOT a simple man with simple tastes. He's very selective on who he catches feelings for and he wouldn't have felt anything for Isabela if he didn't get to know the real her - the Isabela that likes carnivorous plants and playing in the forest and dancing and painting her dress in a multitude of colors. The side of Isabela that is impossibly selfless, self-sacrificial and... sad. The side of her that is sensitive and full of love for her family, but worries this love won't be unconditionally returned if she dares to have desires of her own. Her needs are always secondary. She can make the family happy. That is all she wants. Even if it breaks her. It's something that moves Camilo deeply. Maybe he opens up about his own struggles, with keeping the spirits up, looking after his mom and entertaining kids in town. He also wants to make people happy. If he has to postpone his own feelings, that's okay. Or it was okay until he found out Isabela was on a similar position. They're the same.

So maybe they fall in love eventually, and maybe no one finds out, maybe they do, i don't know. But if they did, they'd think Camilo is a shitty self-insert in a heterosexual script written by a man, because he got a mean girl that's just far too hot for him, and the fact that he meets her standards must be a plot hole or a glitch in the Matrix.

But that's not who they are at all. Isabela can get quite fragile and vulnerable with Camilo, especially once they're both a little older and she stops seeing him as a kid and begins to feel comfortable asking him for comfort. She silently rests her head on his shoulder when she's stressed and he makes tea for her like he does for his mom. And maybe she'll braid a flower into his hair and tell him it's ok if he needs to be vulnerable, too. She's still his older cousin and wants to look after him as well, just like he looks after her. He doesn't prank her as much and sticks to harmless little jokes meant to brighten her day because he knows she doesn't need any more stress, and he doesn't feel the need to put up a performance for her anyway.

People just don't get it, but i think their relationship would actually be very sweet.

#madrigalcest #isamilo #shipcest

[americaswritings]

Invisible

Warnings: Angst, Insecurity & Self-doubt, Language

Summary: The reader stays with Tom and his friends during quarantine. To protect her from media and fans, the reader can’t been seen in any social media posts. It leads to her feeling more and more lonely and isolated until she can’t take it anymore.

Words: 2.6k 

Pairings: Tom Holland x reader

A/N: I wrote this when Tom hosted the marvel pub quiz, but completely forgot to post it!

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"That's it. Thank you for joining and taking part in the quiz! I hope you had as much fun as we did and don't forget to post your answers using the hashtag massive marvel pub quiz so we can find your answers easier. Stay safe and healthy. Bye guys!"

You watched as Tom's face disappeared and the live stream ended.

But the excitement that you had felt when you had first heared of the idea of a marvel quiz was gone. Now you just felt empty. And alone.

You knew that you were overreacting, after all Tom and the others were just a few rooms away, but you couldn't help and feel left out. Again.

You weren't invited to join the live stream in the first place so why join them know?

You knew that Tom only wanted to protect you and himself by keeping you out of the public's eye. If they found out that a female in his age was spending the time during quarantine at his house, they would go wild. You could already imagine the headlines that would follow.

After all Tom had exerperienced how far his ‘fans’ and the media would go when a photo of him and Olivia had gone viral.

Only a few blurry images and both Tom and Olivia had been attacked for weeks, even so far that the girl had to make her instagram private, yet the hate comments never stopped.

And Tom knew that he would never risk the chance of you having to read through pages of hate comments of people that didn't even know you. Because if they did, they knew they could never hate you.

You were kind and loving and you cared a little too deeply.

Tom still remembered when you had called him crying, because you didn't feel confident enough to go out after some girls in your class had made it their mission to target all your insecurities and make mean comments whenever you passed them.

He still remembered the anger and hate he felt inside of him when he listened to your sobbing and how the girl's words had gotten to you, to the point you even believed them.

So when you had moved in with him and the boys, he had decided to keep you out of everything that could reveal to the world that you were living with them. You had agreed without a second doubt, because in that moment it seemed the only rational and responsible thing to do.

Now you weren't so sure anymore, because it hurt so much to be invisible every day. You had gotten used to the fact that you could only watch their instagram stories, live streams and tik toks without being able to join them. But what hurt you even more were the little things.

"Hey y/n, could you leave the room for a sec? You are always in the background of the video!"

A second often turned into hours and soon you found yourself retreating to your room more and more to avoid having to leave and get hurt again.

Yesterday you had decided to do a little game night and you felt so carefree that you came to the conclusion that you were being ridiculous and should rather enjoy the time with them instead of obsessing over your feelings. But then you had laughed over something that had been said and Tom has sighed, dropping his phone.

"Great, now I have to delete that, because you were laughing in the background", he stated, clearly frustrated and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks.

"I'm sorry", you mumbled but it sounded more like a question than a sincere apologzy, because really, what where you even apologizing for? Harrsion had leaned over to get a better look at Tom's phone. "That would have been a great post, mate!"

You adverted your eyes, starring at the table and analysing the natural pattern of the wood to try and distract yourself from the embarassment and the tears that had filled your eyes. "I know right", Tom sighed again and you crounched down in your seat even more.

"I will do that again now so you have to be completely quiet now y/n, got it?

You wanted to scream at them, because you weren't dumb and yet they were treating you like a child that had misbehaved and was now lectured. But you only gulped and nodded, fearing that if you said something, your voice would break and reveal how hurt you really felt.

While they recorded the story again, you listened to their loud laughter as you fought back the tears.

Eventually you excued yourself, mumbling something about having a headache, but you doubted that they even noticed.

Now you could hear them laugh again and even though Tom's laugh was one of your favorite sounds, it now cut deeper into your heart like a knife. 

You were still staring at your phone screen where you saw photos of answer sheets already popping up. You had gotten around 20 answers right, but you didn't feel proud.

When Tom had told you about the marvel quiz you had been beyond excited. Since you could remember you loved the marvel movies. Your rooms had been filled with posters and other merchandise and your friends only rolled their eyes when you suggested to watch a marvel movie during your movie nights.

You had build your knowdlege over the years and loved to challenge Tom, who thought of himself as a big marvel fan as well, regarding who knew more about the marvel cinematic universe.

So when he came up with the idea of a marvel live quiz, you insisted to take part and therefore hear the questions for the first time during the stream so you had the same chance as everyone else.

But as soon as Harry and Harrison had joined the live stream your enthusiasm had faded. They were having so much fun and you were sitting in your room, all on your own. The familiar feeling of loneliness and self doubt had accompained you the rest of the live stream and now that it had ended you just wanted to crawl under the covers and weep into your pillow.

Maybe you were clingy and needy and overthinking again, but you couldn't help the overwhelming sadness and you began to doubt if staying with Tom was a mistake and if your friendship meant more to you than the others.

Maybe you should pack your things tomorrow and tell Tom that you needed to go home. He would understand if you claimed to miss the comfort of being at your home but then again, you would be even more lonely.

Frustrated you threw your phone on the nightstand and quickly changed into your pajamas before crawling into bed.

In the darkness of the room the disappointment felt even more overwhelming and you grabbed onto your pillow for comfort.

A knock made you freeze and your heart started pouding in your chest. You prayed that the person would leave you alone and go away if you pretended to be asleep so you stayed silent.

"Y/n?"

It was Tom's voice.

"We want to watch a movie. Wanna join us?"

You knew that he wouldn't go away until the got an answer so you dismissed your plan and braced yourself to speak.

"No, I am tired, but thanks." You hoped that Tom didn't notice how nervous you sounded and after an agonizing moment of silence you could hear him mutter an "okay" and walk away.

Did you imagine it or did he sound disapppointed? Now feeling guilty too, you covered your face in your hands in frustration.

Why did everything have to go wrong?

And wait...did you still have your make-up on?

You let out a sound of frustration when you realized that you had to get up again to wipe off your make-up. You had applied it because you wanted to feel your best during the quiz you had been so excited for, but now it meant walking all the way to the bathroom.

Which meant leaving your room again.

You slowly opened your door, peeking out to check if the corridors were empty. You proceeded to tiptoe to the bathroom and closed the door behind you while relief flooded you. You really didn't want to meet anyone now, not when you felt like breaking into tears every second.

When you looked into the mirror and began to wash your make-up off, you allowed yourself to let the tears flow. A few sobs escaped your mouth, but the bathroom was far enough from the living room so they wouldn't be able to hear you.

Without the make-up on, you felt a little more relaxed and you couldn't wait to get into bed again.

But when you reached your room without running into anyone on the way, you were more than surprised to see that once you had closed the door and turned around, you weren't alone.

Tom was sitting on your bed, looking up at you when you entered the room.

You could conclude from the frown that covered his face that you looked as horrible as you felt. Your eyes were probably still puffy and red from the crying and your hair was in a messy bun.

"Tom?", you stuttered, too shocked to come up with something that would save you from this conversation. "What are you doing here?", you added, hating how weak your voice sounded.

His frown grew even deeper and he mustered your apperance, hurt visible in his eyes.

"You were so excited for the quiz so when you didn't leave your room I grew worried", he explained while you akwardly stood next to the door, leaving as much space between the two of you as possible.

"Oh that- I just didn't feel good so I decided to sleep early today", you tried to brush it off, but you knew that Tom would not fall for it.

"Why have you been crying?"

His question was acommpanied by a stern gaze and you couldn't help feeling guilty and ashamed.

"I- I wasn't", you stuttered, but it didn't even sound believable to your own ears. Tom raised his eyebrow, but when he saw how uncomfortable you looked his features softened.

"Hey, you can talk to me, you know that right? Whatever it is, you can tell me and we can figure this out together." His voice was so gentle and caring that tears filled your eyes again and you silently cursed yourself for being so emotional.

You didn't want to cry in front of Tom. It would not be the first time and when it had happened he had always managed to make you feel better and put a smile on your face again, but you also knew the shame that would follow afterwards.

You didn't want him to think that you were too sensitive.

But the tears weren't only a result of your hurt, no, anger was building inside of you at his words. "Really Tom, really?", you snapped and he flinched in surprise.

"Are you sure you want me to talk to you? Maybe someone is filming an instagram story and I could be heard in the background so I should just say nothing at all. Or even better, why don't I just leave the room so there is a lesser chance that I could ruin your precious masterpieces by just existing."

Tom's eyes had widened at your outburst and you actually felt bad for a second, but then you remembered the many occasions he had made you feel like you weren't good enough and the anger came back.

"You know what? I think it would be best if I just went home. I am done being treated like an outsider and being blamed for everything I do!"

Tom had jumped up from the bed and was crossing the distance between the two of you with large steps, but you raised your hands before he could come closer to you.

"Y/n I am so sorry", he stumbled over his words, desperately trying to find the right words. "I didn't realize- I never would have..." Frustrated he ran a hand through his hair.

"Listen, I screwed up! I didn't realize that my behaviour- that I was hurting you and I am so sorry! I just wanted to protect you and now I am the one making you feel this way. Fuck, I am so sorry!"

His words seemed geniune and your heart ached to step forward and pull him into a hug, but you knew that you could not forget so easily.

"I didn't think that this was so important to you. Why didn't you say anything?" He was rubbing the back of his head, seemingly tensed.

"I don't care much about not being in the stories Tom. But it really hurt whenever I am send away so you can film together or when I am told to shut up so I can't be heard while you all have fun together”, you explained, trying to keep your vice even.

“I just feel like I am a burden to you and if you don't want to spend time with me that's fine I guess but I would appreciate for you to tell me that so I can stop trying and just go home."

"No, no, no it's not like that I swear!” Tom seemed desperate again, articulating with his hands to underline his words.

“I miss spending time with you, I really do and it was stupid of me to let myself being dragged into this whole instagram thing!

You know I am normally not the person to care much about posting, but I thought now that everyone is stuck at home, I could make my fans happy and distract them from the situation by sharing more of my life. I should have never put them before you and I am truly sorry!” You could see the regret clearly in his eyes as he took in a deep breath. 

“Please don't go."

You were biting your lip as you were trying your best to stay calm and not break into tears. You had imagined confronting Tom and letting all your anger and hurt out, but now that he stood in front of you with his eyes full of hurt and regret and his pleading words for you to stay, your anger vanished.

"Are you sure?", you asked him in uncertainty, because you knew you couldn't bare if nothing would change. But Tom desperately nodded. "I am. Tomorrow I am going to post a photo to let my fans now that I am taking a break from social media!"

He looked so determined, so sure, that a warm feeling filled you. "You would do that?"

"Of course! I want to make it up to you and besides I was not lying when I said that I miss spending time with you”, he stated, stepping a little closer to you when you didn’t protest anymore.

“You were so distant the last days and I didn't know what to do, so I thought that I should give you space. Seems like that is the last thing I should have done", he sayed with a sheepish smile covering his face.

"Sorry for being so caught up in myself. I should have said something earlier too", you admitted, a small smile forming on your lips, when you felt the burden fall off your shoulders.

"Hug?", Tom suggested and you didn't have to think twice about it.

When he wrapped his strong arms around you, you realized that going back to your place would have been a mistake. Because at some point your home hadn't been a place anymore. Instead it had become a person and you didn't plan on letting go any time soon.

----

Tags:

PERMANENT: @fairytalesforever @hamartocado @capkilljoy​ @choke-me-sweet-pea @sleepinginthegarden7 @thenoddingbunny-blog @ttalisa​

TOM HOLLAND: @mbsgr​ @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory​ @fairydustparker​ @its-the-unknownspideywrites​ @tomhollanders2013​ @hollandsmiss​ ​ @100kindsofblake​ @popluckbih​ @quaksonhehe​​

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[lubdubsworld]

Blackberry Winters.

Part 1

Check part one for warnings 💔

Part 2.

Namjoon stared at his mother, her words registering but not quite sinking in. He blinked, a couple of times and swallowed dryly, trying to gather his wits that felt like they'd been scattered to the four winds. There was a dull ringing in his ear, a feeling of impending horror and he had to fight to bring himself back to the present.

"She is...?" He couldn't even say it. Somewhere in the back of his mind he realised the irony of it. It wasn't supposed to makes him feel that way. The reason he had taken her to bed was for this : a heir to take over the duties of the head alpha after him. And yet, he knew that he couldn't just ignore all the things that would come with having a pregnant mate. All the added responsibility.

At the heart of it , Namjoon was exhausted.

He had been trained for this position but it didn't make it any easier. His wolf yearned for solitude and serenity, peaceful quiet where he could contemplate life and all its mysteries but the duties and responsibilities kept piling up. He had no time to indulge in such whimsical fantasies. From daybreak to sundown, he drowned in problems that demanded solutions, issues that required his intervention and he was always giving so much of himself to so many.

It was as taking a toll.

And now here was the promise of another new soul. A pup. Fully dependant on him for survival. It was hard to be ecstatic.

" Why do you look so surprised? Have you not been sleeping with her?" She frowned, moving closer to the small wooden bench in the corner of the room. She sat down, primly adjusting the large swathes of her skirt. Even at her age, she was a beauty and despite being a widow, she was treated with great respect by all the wolves in the clan.

" I have... Of course...I just didn't expect her to ...so soon. " He muttered hesitantly. He made a quick calculation, Conceived at the end of autumn meant the child would be born at the end of summer. Rains and more rains. He would have to commission the weavers to make a lot of warm blankets and thick bedding for the babe. And make sure that all the birthing huts had their roofs mended. He felt an ache in his chest. He knew he had to have a heir. It was part of what he was responsible for. But he wasn't ready to be a father yet. Especially not with someone like her.

" You haven't been very subtle in your disdain for her, Joon. It makes me wonder of perhaps I have failed in teaching you the ways of a husband." His mother's sharp voice made him wince.

His parents had been deeply in love with each other. His mother had been an equal contributor in running the clan, his father's most trusted confidante. He couldn't imagine having something like that with the woman he had rather recklessly chained himself to for life. But he couldn't be openly defiant in front of his mother.

So he bowed.

" I've tried to talk to her mother. She looks at me like I'm some marauding villain."

Lady Kim scoffed.

" Because, for all she knows, you may as well be one. Think of who she is, how she was raised. Her mother died when she was eight and she has been keeping house for her father since then. It Is a miracle she knows how to read a few words and to write her own name. Old man Gong is unkind and cruel and I've only ever watched him treat her like an unruly dog that needed discipline and never like his own flesh and blood. She knows men to be cruel and powerful and capable of doing her great harm. Add to it your status as the head of the clan, of course she thinks you're dangerous. "

" am I to be blamed for her childhood now?"

" Don't be obtuse. That is not what I'm saying. I just want you to consider her upbringing, before you write her off as dramatic or hysterical. "

Namjoon sighed deeply.

" Alright, mother. I'll try to talk to her again. "

And he knew that he had to. If he wanted some semblance of peace in his life, he would have to make an effort with his wife.

----------------------------

Jiah sat by the haybale near the barn, cross-legged on the dirty floor as she watched Misu and Loshim, two of the stable boys tend to the horses. She stared at the careful way they brushed the large beasts, their tone gentle and soothing as they murmured reassurance to the agitated animals. She found it fascinating, how even an animal that powerful could feel fear and anxiety. It made her feel better about her own shortcomings.

From a very young age, she had known of her flaws. She was jittery, prone to cold sweats and breathing problems, easily frightened and absolutely terrified of confrontation of any kind. Her parents had been, to put it lightly, unkind. They had seen her as a burden, as something broken and useless and cumbersome and that had done nothing for her self esteem.

To make matters worse, they didn't let her attend lessons with the other omega girls, her education limited to scribbled writing on granite with chalk when her father was feeling bored or charitable. She could read a few words with difficulty . Could write her name out if you gave her some time and patience.

At first, her ignorance had been embarassing but over time she realised her education wouldn't serve her much purpose.

She thought of herself as something temporary and fleeting. Not meant to leave any lasting impression on the world. So it was alright if she didn't know what every other girl her age did. She was going to live and die in that hut near the boundary walls..... She would have no use for fancy words or exotic dances.

Or so she hd always believed.

So when the head alpha had asked for her hand in marriage, she had nearly passed out from her heart giving out.

Namjoon was seven years older, almost thirty winters old and she had only ever caught glimpses of him when he came to check on her father's watchpost occasionally. He was a tall man, strapping and intimidating with dragon eyes that glowed red. And one evening he had stopped by her side when she had been tending the beets and potatoes in the small vegetable garden out back.

He had stared at her for a few long minutes while she had sweated in nervousness and then he had promptly asked for her father. When the man had Stepped in and told her father that he was looking to make her his bride, the old man had been jubilant while Jiah had been confounded.

She hadn't wanted to say yes but she had been too much of a coward to say no. Besides, she didn't know if saying no would have any repurcussions....she didn't want to risk offending the literal head of the entire clan. What if they banished her? What would become of her then?

And so she had said yes. And here she was.

Mated to the man for life, her wolf connected to his and his mark on her neck and now....his child in her womb.

She felt the familiar stirring of panic, digging her nails into her palm to ground herself .

Jiah had long come to terms with the fact that her mind was not her friend. It sometimes tried to attack her , tried to make her feel irrational things. It convinced her that she was a bother, that she was useless, that she was a burden. It also tried to tell her that she was in danger, that she had to run and avoid and get away, even when she was perfectly safe.

When she had first come here as the head Alphas new wife, her brain had wrecked havoc on her senses. Had made her feel like a hunted animal, always cowering and hiding and trying to disappear . Namjoon had tried to be friendly, tried to be courteous and all she had done was hide and recoil, skin ice cold and words practically non existent. She hadn't said a word to him those first few days and even the bedding had been a nightmare, her entire body stiff as a board and she knew that he had probably felt like he was making love to a corpse.

She regretted it. Deeply. But there was not much she could do about it now. Besides she wasn't sure she even wanted to. It was obvious her husband's affections lay elsewhere. She had seen the way he looked at that courtesan. Had seen him sneak out for walks with her, had seen them huddled together in the room with all the scrolls and leather bound books.

Jisoo was a beautiful omega, well read and trained in musical arts. She played the gayageum and the flute, knew how to entertain guests with a perfect ceremonial dance and she was always at the helm of every festivity, dressed in vibrant fabrics and full of life.

She was also madly in love with Namjoon.

Jiah sighed, watching the horses paw at the dirty stable floor. She wanted to get to know her husband, yes. But she knew that even if she did, he would only find her wanting and inadequate in all ways.

And that was just not acceptable .

She maybe self aware when it came to her short comings but she also had her pride.

She would rather live like this. Tucked away like an embarassment, hidden like a dirty secret because then there would be no piercing gaze weighing her against her peers and declaring her broken.

Yes.

Pregnant or not, she wanted nothing to do with her husband.

------------------------

" Are you feeling well now?" Namjoon's voice startled her, eyes going wide as she looked around the resting quarters , gaze finally falling on the man standing near the large table on the side. Namjoon was bent over the rough oak surface , papers spread out in front of him, an oil lamp burning bright nearby, casting a sepia shadow on the man himself and she hesitated, debating the pros and cons of excusing herself to go see his mother instead. Maybe claiming a headache?

In the end she did neither, resolving to at least make an effort with this.

" I'm well, alpha. " She swallowed the lump in her throat. " I'm sorry for inconveniencing you. "

He straightened, turning around to look at her finally.

" Do you wish to move into another room?" He said briskly and she startled.

" Another room?"

" Now that you are with pup, there's no reason for us to keep sleeping together. I prefer having my own space. "

Jiah felt the blood rush through her ears. This shouldn't hurt but it did and she could feel the self loathing flood her senses. She stared down at herself, the lack of beauty and the utter lack of any kind of elegant upbringing. Of course he didn't want to stay with her any longer. What had she been thinking , agreeing to this farce of a mating?

" I... Alright. "

Namjoon turned away from her.

" Good. I've already arranged for all your things to be moved to the west wing , next to the gardens."

Far away from his rooms, Jiah thought bitterly. The sudden realization that Namjoon had been looking for some sort of brood mare and not a mate hit her . And it suddenly made sense that he hd picked her.

Someone easy to boss around.

Someone who wouldn't demand anything from him, loyalty or affection or attention .

And it irked her for some reason.

Why did he get to treat her that way? Why must she put up with it?

But she stayed quiet because she wasn't sure what to say.

" You can leave now, Jiah. " He said dismissively and she hesitated before stepping out of the room.

And she wondered if with her departure, someone else would be taking her place in his bed.

-----------------------------

Authors Note : would you guys like first person narrative or should I continue in third person? 👀

#namjoon Werewolf drabble

[tokoyamisstuff]

Meant To Be - Loki x Fem! Reader

Summary: Much to your displeasure, your parents have promised you away to the God of Mischief of all people.

Tags: Arranged Marriage AU, Light Elf! Reader

Warnings: Aside from Loki hating himself, nothing.

Words: 2878

I Masterlist I

A/N: Some good old-fashioned, ‘redeemed after The Avengers and the other movies didn’t happen’ Loki. Like, really cheesy, self-indulgent 2012 stuff. I just want to ignore all misery that happens in the series okay?

“Ew! Stop it!”

You were eight at the time when you and Loki first met, by means of negotiation between both your parents.

If only you knew that this encounter should be the first impression of what should be your husband in the near future...

Frigga and Odin could only plead for their son to be on his best behavior - but well, it’s the God of Mischief we’re talking about. Must be hard to inherit such a title from your very birth.

Just when you put the little bonquet of flowers he had picked up for you towards your face to admire it, several little spiders emerged from the blossoms.

“You’re no fun.” The raven-haired boy stood a safe distance away from you, arms crossed as his gleeful laughter turned into a broad sulk. "And your ears are weird.”

“I hate you!” you screeched in your childish rage, throwing the flowers to the ground and trampling onto them. “Where’s your brother? Thor is way nicer than you!”

“Well, why don’t you marry him then?!” he mocked to cover up his hurt pride, picking up a handful of dirt and throwing it in your direction. 

“I don’t need any friends anyway...” the little boy whispered to himself, running away from the scene with tears filling the corner of his eyes. 

“I don’t need anyone. I’m way better than all of them!”

Not even Frigga was fast enough to catch up with him, while Odin uttered some fake apologies to your parents, promising them that everything will go as planned.

You on the other hand were running towards your mother, tightly grabbing onto her dress. “He’s mean! I wanna go home!”

As Queen of the Light Elves, your mother was a being full of grace and composure - and you were hoping to one day become such a formidable person as well.

She bowed down to your height, petting your hair as you rubbed the mixture of tears and dirt from your cheeks. Just her bright smile alone would sometimes be enough to make you forget about your worries - but not today.

“My sweet child” she cooed, cradling you in her arms. “One day you’ll understand.”

However, this would be the last time you paid Asgard a visit - at least until now. Because no matter how deeply you wished to never meet him again, the words your mother spoke on that day haunted you all those years:

“For this is your duty as a princess.”

[Present Day - Asgard]

It felt so unreal when you stuck your head outside of the wooden carriage, the wind playing with your hair as your glare wandered over the rainbow bridge you were crossing.

Silence strained the air, your parents unable to do even so much as look into your eyes. Hel, how you wished this was only a dream.

Behind you was a whole company of Light Elves, transporting all of your belongings to what should be your homecountry from now on.

Now there was no way back, that much was sure.

You were supposed to meet your soon-to-be husband on that very same day, one day before your wedding to be precize.

One could only guess why you weren’t allowed to visit Asgard again for all those years, even though you were practically born just for this reason - for this person.

To become Loki’s bride was your involuntary purpose, and you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be truly free.

Maybe your parents thought the God of Mischief to have a bad influence on their growing daughter, pulling you into his harmless yet dishonorable schemes. Or they simply feared you to refuse marrying said man if you got to know him better, finding out just what kind of person you were promised to.

Not that your parents were pleased either...everyone in the Nine Realms knew the stories.

To Odin, there was no point in hiding the disgrace his adoptive son had brought over Asgard. Not only was he responsible for an attack on Midgard, sacrificing thousands of lives for his own sake, drunken by greed for power.

But all of you were shocked to hear that Loki Odinson - or rather Laufeyson - was never Asgardian to begin with.

A Frost Giant.

Among your kind, they were known to be one of the most terrible abominations in the nine realms, and murderer of countless of your kind - and this should be the father to your future children?

Only thinking about this cruel twist of fate made you want to vomit...

So why did you agree to proceed with the preparations as if nothing had happened? How in Alfheim’s name could you reject their offer to wed you to Thor instead of that lunatic?

Was it that through your upbringing and royal duties, you had lost your own free will? Or simply fear of stepping aside the path that everyone had prepared for you?

It was probably the fact that you didn’t want to get into true love’s way...you and Thor stayed in brief contact through Heimdall, and you just knew how much that human girl meant to him.

You were kinda jealous, though...the concept of being in love was foreign to you, having a vague idea of it from novels only. But real life just wasn’t meant to be that was, was it?

You couldn’t escape your fate, that was what it was - for this treaty would unite both kingdoms, bringing peace and wealth for all of their inhabitants.

No way you could be so selfish as to decline...even if it meant you had to suffer for the rest of your life.

“My Ladyship, we have arrived!” a guard spoke as he knocked on the carriage door, with your parents hinting that you needed to step out first.

The very same guard now yelled from the pit of his lungs, making you feel the whole Kingdom of Asgard could hear. “Now arriving: Lady Y/N Y/L/N, eldest Princess of Alfheim and heir to the throne.”

You heared the people whispering as you took your first, insecure steps, blinded by the bright daylight.

“She’s so pale, like ice” or “Why are her ears like that?” were rather nice comments compared to others plainly calling you ugly, scary or a ‘disgrace’.

Of course your Kingdoms had been in a war for several decades, but this was long in the past - before your very birth, even. So what’s the reason you should bear with such hostility in the place everyone expected you to call ‘home’ from now on?

One thing was clear from the very beginning: You would never belong here.

“May I?” a dark, husky voice interrupted your self-pitying. You blinked heavily, still trying to adjust to all those golden surroundings, until your blurry vision finally cleared up.

“C’mon.” The voice belonged to the man in front of you, looking gravely nervous with sweat dripping from his forehead. He was reaching out a hand for you to take, and you gladly accepted since you didn’t want to embarass yourself further by falling out of the carriage.

And still, you managed to somehow miss a step and fall right into his arms. “Oh my, so clumsy” the man snickered as he catched you, clearing his throat as you grabbed onto his chest to regain balance. "Not very graceful for someone of your status.”

“And you are-” The words got stuck in your throat when you stared back into those eyes, their emerald green awaking memories you’d rather forgotten entirely. “L-Loki!”

“Exactly, my dear. The one and only.” Smooth and calm, he  pecked a kiss on the back of your hand, andyou couldn’t help but admire just how well he had aged: His wild locks were combed back, sharp features complimenting his face as he tried his best to give you his most innocent smile.

Yet you kept your guard up, always expecting him to somehow embarass you just for the fun of it. “When it comes to him, always expect the unexpected” Thor once warned you, and you won’t forget about it that easily.

“It’s a pleasure finally meeting you” was your firm declaration, only to be rewarded with a scoff. “You are speaking to the God of Lies, Lady Y/N - there is no use in trying to deceive me” he whispered into your ear, making you shiver in unpleasant anticipation.

“Carry her belongings to my rooms” he dismissed the servants with a simple gesture of his hand, offering his other arm for you to cling on as he escorted you through the palace.

The giant halls were almost empty, nothing like back on Alfheim where you and your brethren would enjoy each other’s company in midst of nature. A sole tear escaped your eye when you thought back to those carefree days, which are now over.

“Are you alright, m’lady?” Much to your surprise, your fiancé sounded honestly concerned about your well-being. “If you are tired, we can postpone our tour of the palace until you’ve rested.”

 “May I speak from the heart?” You gulped after finishing that sentence, scaring yourself with all the stories you’ve heared about this mad troublemaker.

Somehow you had the feeling that if you were to overstep your boundaries with that brute, it would have consequences beyond your imagination. He might seem generous and polite right this moment, but what would someone like him do if you enrage him? Countless images were circling in your head, one worse than the other.

Loki furrowed his brows, exhalinge deeply. For him, your expression was an open book to what you were thinking right now.

“Y/N, my dear Lady, if you want it or not: Starting tomorrow, we share a bond. I am deeply sorry that a veritable flower as you are had to end up with someone like me, but I promise to treat you as well as possible.”

Turning around so you’d not detect how it hurt him to speak from the heart, he added with a shaky voice “Yet there is no reason for you to hold back your hatred for me. No harm will come your way, I swear upon the little honor I have left.”

Even though his words made you feel a deep sympathy with the god, you weren’t quite sure if you could decipher truth or deceit in them. Maybe he just wanted to lure you into saying what you truly thought of him?

He’s right - you will have to spend the rest of your life with him, so don’t mess this up from the very start!

“I-I don’t hate you!” was the first thing you blurted out, grabbing onto his cloak. Loki turned around, rising his eyebrow as he scanned your face for any hint of a lie.

Althrough it was the truth, at least to a certain extend. You’ve seen each other only once, when you were still little. The rest is all tales and rumours, but you personally don’t have a reason to despise him.

There was no way you could promise to accept his past or heritage, let alone forgive him - yet as long as he’d treat you with respect, you’d return the favour.

“T-There’s just a question on my mind this whole time...aren’t you mad? I-I mean someone like- well...like you...” you gestured around awkardly, almost making him crack a smile. “I mean...I thought you wouldn’t let your parents dictate your life.”

Another deep sigh escaping his mouth, this times with his eyes closed. “This isn’t about Asgard or my adoptive parents. I choose my own path.”

Suddenly, Loki wrapped one arm around you, flicking his fingers with the free one.

“Hold onto me” he ordered indifferent as he casted his spell, teleporting both of you away before you could even comprehend, let alone ask him what he was doing.

It happened in the fraction of a second, yet felt like hovering through an empty space for an eternity.

“Now open your eyes.” You hadn’t even realized that you squeezed them shut during the shift, slowly opening them while Loki lifted your chin with his index finger.

The environment was magnificent. Had you ever seen something this beautiful in your whole life?

Obviously you had no clue where you were, but this was the first time seeing so much untouched nature on Asgard. There were flowers blooming in all colours imagineable, clear rivers crossing the lands in between grassy hills, and animals nearby a small forrest.

“It’s not like I didn’t educate myself about the Light Elves and their way of living” Loki stammered, unconsciously intertwining your fingers with yours as he watched you admiring the view. “So I could make you comfortable here, I mean.”

He plummeted down on the grass, still a little wet from the morning dew, and gestured for you to do the same. It was weird, actually, but also somehow adorable - how the infamous ‘Silver Tongue’ had lost his ability with words. “I’ve done very little right in my life full of wrongs. Hurt a lot of people.”

“Mmmhh” you hummed approvingly, not knowing what else to say - yet for some reason, you didn’t let go off of his hand, squeezing it ever so slightly.

“And even though I can’t possibly redeem myself, I wish to change for the better.” he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “I just never knew how to start.”

Loki Odinson really was full of surprises. He was nothing like the child you’ve met long ago, and the complete opposite of what you imagined the ‘God of Mischief’ to be.

You had expected a power-hungry, selfish and cruel man to wed you - and yet there he was: Insecure and broken, only a shell of the person he once was.

Just what had you missed all those years? What things happened to break someone’s will like this?

And was he truly beyond repair?

“Those past weeks, I have visited Alfheim more times than you could comprehend” he giggled nervously, avoiding your eyes. “Concealed, of course.”

Well, that sounded kind of weird, but you knew better than to talk someone down who was just opening up to you. So your sole answer was “What for?”

“There was no way a criminal like me would still be seemed fit for this ceremony - and yet I was given this chance anyway. My mother told me that it was you who insisted on carrying on the arrangement, so...I just wanted to know what person would be willingly ruin their life.”

Something different was shining through the god’s orbs, and you couldn’t quite decipher it. Was it hope? Hope, that if you had given him a chance, his life could lead into a different direction? To change himself from the burden that was his birth title?

“I-I guess I don’t want to mess this up like I always do” he whimpered barely audible, before staring at you in shock and embarassment. Until now, he hadn’t realized just how vulnerable he made himself.

Just what the hell would you think about him now? You probably had lost any respect, or thought himself to be crazy. How weak...

So he was quick to put on the confident facade again, wearing his smug grin as if that all was just part of a big joke only he’d understand. But even though you barely knew him, he couldn’t fool you.

“Sometimes it’s enough just to try.” Your head turned from the sight of nature to your fiancé and back several times, before you brought up the courage and put a hand on his shoulder, whispering “So you can’t really mess this up.”

“Gladly you don’t seem to know yet just how much misery I cause.” He kept that thought to himself, to not scare you away.

“I am aware that you could never love someone like me, Y/N. But I can provide for you, dedicate myself to making you content with being my wife. My newfound purpose.”

The purpose of a war criminal - that sure put yourself under a lot of pressure. And still, it made you somewhat proud, and grateful as well. Because it was the first time someone valued you as a person, and not the princess of Alfheim.

Unaware of how much time had passed, both of you would get used to each other’s presence in silence, enjoying the nature while you processed this eventful day.

Exhausted from the long travel and all that rollercoaster of emotion, you soon found yourself dazzling into sleep onto Loki’s shoulder. If only you could see him adore you, staring in awe that someone could actually feel so safe in his presence.

Carefully, the god picked you up, gently lifting you on his arms to make your way back to the palace, where everyone was frantically searching for both of you. Well, Loki was used to trouble -  but right now, it was worth it.

May it be right or wrong, and even though you couldn’t explain this sentiment, you had a good feeling when it came to the things that were just about to come.

“You won’t regret your decision, Y/N Y/L/N. On my side, I assure you a bright future.”

#Loki #Loki x Reader #Loki x You #Loki Odinson #Loki Laufeyson #Loki Friggason #Loki/Reader #Loki/You #Self Insert #Fanfiction #Arranged Marriage #Writing #Marvel #Asgard

[valentina-writes]

Starfall

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this, feel free to ask for a specific imagine, headcanon or oneshot. At first I will only write for Azriel. Thanks for reading!

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“Look, y/n, there is nothing you need to worry about. Nothing. It’s Azriel we are talking about. He may be a spymaster, but he’s pretty damn clueless at the same time”, your best friend Mor reminded you.

The two of you were standing in your bedroom in the House of Wind, getting ready for starfall. You had just been talking about your crush on the spymaster in question - to be honest, that was no surprise. You had found a person to rely on when you told Mor about your feelings for him. And since then somehow all of your conversations seemed to be about him.

“I know, Mor, I know! But everything I do, everything I say seems so obvious to me. And I can’t even do anything about it! I try being decent about it, but it’s always the same. We start talking about anything and I can only concentrate on how close he is and on his eyes and his face and his lips and then I start blushing and it gets super awkward”.

Embarassing memories of your last birthday came to your mind, where you had hugged him for the present he gave you - a beautiful necklace - and he had been noticably uncomfortable for the rest of the evening, shadows surrounding him. Then Mor, already super drunk, had nearly told him you were in love with him, after you tried to apologize and talk about the next mission he would be sent on.

She thought about your concerns for a while and just said: “Then try not to talk to him. I don’t think that he ever noticed anything weird about your behavior, because then he would’ve said something. But if you are not comfortable striking up a conversation because of what could happen, just don’t do it”.

Then she left your bedroom mumbling something about Rhys’ wine and you were left on your own.

Your heart was beating in anticipation and fear. You would see Azriel today. Truly see him, after months of only getting a few glimpses at him before he was sent on his next mission.

But what would he do if he noticed that you were in love with him? Would he push you away? Tell you that he’s still not over Mor? Laugh at you for your childish hopes?

You pushed your worries aside and smoothed out your dark blue dress. Today was a holiday. A festive day meant to be celebrated. Even if you would deeply embarrass yourself again, there would still be Mor and Cassian and Rhys’ good wine to help you forget what you had done.

When you left your room, there was already music playing and a few guests chatting and drinking. The house was beautifully decorated. But you could not appreciate any of that. 

“Y/n! Come over here!”, Cassian called out to you. You quickly spotted him and braced yourself. Where Cassian was, there usually was Azriel too.

And yes, there next to Cassian, hidden behind his raging shadows, was Azriel, handsome as ever. You quickly shifted your glance to the group surrounding him, unable to look at him for another second.

You could not have him. Never. He was still in love with Mor, still not over his past. And though you couldn’t blame him for that, your feelings did not cease. If anything, they grew stronger by the second. And that terrified you. Because what if you would spend eternity yearning and longing for him like you were now?

“Are you alright?”, Rhys asked you. He looked concerned, as if he could see right through you.

“Yes, it’s fine. I’m just a little tired, that’s all”, you quickly said and smiled at him. That wasn’t even a lie. Since Azriel had been on one of his dangerous missions to the Autumn Court, you hadn’t been able to sleep at night, always fearing for his life. Every morning when a new report from him came, you were incredibly happy. He was alive.

“Well, then prepare to be even more tired tomorrow. You won’t get any sleep tonight!”, Cassian exclaimed, pointing at the dance floor that was now filling up.

“We will see, Cassy, we will see”.

“Cassy? I like that. I like that a lot. Maybe I should call you Cassy baby. That fits your childish antics”, Amren said, joining your group. You were almost sure that you heard a low chuckle out of Azriel’s direction.

“I should better get going”, Rhys quietly excused himself, walking towards Feyre, the newest addition to your circle. He seemed to be drawn towards her, like you were towards Azriel. The only difference being that she acted the same way as Rhysand, instead of kepping away.

“Me too. I’m gonna get Mor, I don’t want her to drink all of the good stuff herself”, Cassian said and disappeared in the crowd. You desperately wanted him to stay. Being alone with Azriel would only lead to awkward looks and you rambling on and on about something like the weather.

“Gosh, if they keep going like that they won’t be able to stand upright at the end of the night”. Amren shot some glances at you and Azriel, while saying that. You had never explicitly told her about your feelings, but still it looked like she knew something. Probably because of how obvious you usually were about your feelings.

“Anyway, that’s too funny not to watch. I will have them get me some fresh blood tomorrow for keeping an eye on them”. Amren mouthed a good luck to you and then made her way through the crowd, too - in a totally different direction than Cassian. You would not get her any blood, that was for sure. She had set you and Azriel up against your will. 

You felt your cheeks heating up, when you turned to face Azriel. His face showed no sign of noticing what Amren just had done.

“Hi”, you breathed, “it’s nice to see you”. You tried your best holding his gaze without showing how he made you feel. How his hazel eyes burned into your soul, making your knees wobbly and heart pound.

“It’s nice to see you too, y/n”, he answered.

For a while you just stood there, watching the others. Mor and Cassian had started a very ... unconservative looking dance battle. You started to think about what you could tell him, how you could start a conversation. When all of a sudden-

“Do you want to dance?”. It was more of a whisper than anything else, nearly drowning in the noise of the crowd.

You spun around to see him looking at you. For the first time today you allowed yourself to look at him, truly look at him. He looked very tired and reserved, his wings tucked tightly against his back. The usual look of shyness surrounding his face. You could not look away, drank in his features, noticing his dark blue suit. The same color as his siphons he didn’t wear today. The same color as your dress.

“Yes”, you said, smiling. Your heart began to beat even faster when he laid his hand on your waist and lead you to the dance floor. Subconsciously, you shivered at the feeling of his hands through the thin fabric of your gown. 

Azriel pulled you closer and started to slowly dance with you. You silently prayed. Dear Mother, please don’t let him hear my heartbeat. Don’t let him find out.

“I didn’t know that you can dance”, you said. He expertly waltzed you through the room. In that moment only the two of you seemed to exist. Everybody else had disappeared from your mind.

“I enjoy dancing. But only with the right partner”. Your heart fluttered in your chest at this comment. 

He opened his mouth as to say something else, but suddenly his shadows left their usual place aroung his neck and chest and darted towards you.

They brushed your face and arms, as if they wanted to play with you. You even thought you could hear them whisper things in your ear - too silent to actually make it out.

“I’m sorry, y/n”, he gasped, trying to regain control. His face looked pained, almost shocked, as he let you go and surrounded his shadows around him again. He shook his head and went out onto a near balcony.

What had just happened there? What did this mean? You went after him, wanting to see if he was okay. 

You joined him on the balcony, his wings flared as if he wanted to leave. He was so beautiful against the night sky. All of the stars looking dull in comparison to him. Laying your hand on his arm, you turned him around.

“Why did you stop?”, you wanted to kow. You did not care about the blush on your face or the concern in your voice. You did not care about exposing your feelings to him. All you cared about was him.

“It’s ... my shadows. I couldn’t control them. I’m sorry, y/n”, he repeated.

You took another step towards him, not understanding his reasoning.

“What do you mean?”. He frowned and looked down for a second. His shadows were already starting to reach out to you again.

“Most people ... most people fear them They don’t like being close to them. Close to me”. You glanced at his shadows and reached for one of them, touching it. It felt cool against your hand, chilly like the air surrounding you. 

“I don’t care, Az, they are a part of you. And to me, they appear rather playful if anything”. Again, he looked down. Almost ashamed. But then his shadows swirled freely around you, like the evening breeze.

“Also, they don’t like being near most people. They shy away. But with you ... they call out to you. Want to be near you”. Your heart missed a beat. His shadows... but that didn’t mean that he felt the same way, right? Maybe that’s why he was so embarrassed. Because his shadows acted against his will.

As you ran your fingers through the shadows and looked at his face, the way his eyes glowed in the moonlight, you made a decision. This could not go on the way it did for the last one-hundred years. You loved him. Every part of him. And if he did not feel the same way, you would end it here and now.

“Azriel, I...”, you started, but he stopped you.

“Don’t, y/n. Please, don’t”. Pain appeared in his eyes, his wings and shadows folding around him, as if to protect him. But you did not budge.

“Az, I love... I love you. I have loved you since I met you. I did not plan on telling you this, but I...I cannot live like this anymore. The constant hiding and the fear of exposing my feelings. I love you. Every part of you. And if you don’t feel the same way about me ... then that’s fine”. When this burden, the feelings you had kept to yourself for such a long time, fell from your chest, you felt weak. He would send you away, tell you he didn’t feel the same. 

You already turned around, unable to look at the shock in his eyes anymore, when his shadows pulled you back. His expression softened as he looked at your face.

“I love you too, y/n. But I was scared. Scared that this would not work out, scared of opening up. Scared of the possibility that I wasted over four hundred years waiting for Mor to fall in love with me. I did not know how to approach you, what to tell you. I wanted to be with you, yes I did. But it felt impossible, so I tried pushing you away”. He breathed out, relaxing. He loved you. He loved you. That was all you could think about.

“I went on all these missions to try to get my head free. I tried not to think about you or my feelings or how you felt about me. I tried to stop my feelings. But when I saw you today, for the first time in months ... I did not know how to react. And then we were dancing and ... the shadows gave everything away”. You reached out for his hands, holding them in yours. He let out a sharp breath but then relaxed at your touch.

“I could not sleep when you were gone”, you said, your voice barely more then a whisper, “I was afraid something would happen to you. And I was the one to check your reports every day. I nearly died every night at the thought of you dying”. Tears started to form in his eyes, as he pulled you closer.

“That’s what I felt like too”, he murmured against your hair. You let out a deep sigh.

Azriel cradled your face in his hands, ever so gently and kissed you on your lips. His wings closed around you as he deepened the kiss, slowly tasting your lips and melting into your touch.

His shadows now caressed you as he held you close. The kiss was long and sensual, as if he had waited for this to happen for a long time. As if he could never get enough of you.

And when both of you had run out of breath, you just silently stood there on the balcony, wrapped in his wings and arms, listening to his heartbeat as the stars around you fell.

#azriel oneshots #azriel x y/n #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #acotar oneshots #azriel imagine #azriel fluff

[swimfuel]

okay humanstuck thoughts under the cut

i owe a lot of this to @/rhythmic-idealist's kankri/vantasposting bc holy shit theyve got such a big brain (ill link to their individual posts when im on desktop since im using this to keep all my thoughts straight and i agree with most of what they say wholeheartedly)

general status quo stuff:

signless works in an extremely demanding career involving helping others (i'm leaning towards an attorney who works with organizations and does pro bono work), and is also extensively involved in social justice work outside of his job... he is very rarely home

he loves and cares for his children deeply and tries to express it whenever they're face to face, but the couch in his cramped and messy office has seen far too much use over the years for him to have been able to say it enough

his habits of working himself to the point of exhaustion are handily passed down to his kids btw

the kids had to grow up quickly because signless was out of the house so often and so consistently—kankri, who was already pretty high-strung, has to learn to take care of himself and karkat

they grow up near ms firuzeh maryam, who's their pseudoaunt/grandma (she took in a nine year old kavana vantas when she was about twenty), but they just call her ms rosa

they spent a lot of time in the maryam house growing up, with miss rosa's two nieces. porrim is a year older than kankri, while kanaya and karkat are the same age

kankri grows kinda sensitive to people trying to mother him since it rubs against the notion that he's the "adult of the house" and that he can take care of himself and karkat just fine

(and it also kinda underlines the fact that kankri has no idea what he's doing at the best of times)

and ironically enough, kankri becomes overbearing and naggy towards karkat in his own right, which forestalls them becoming close in any brotherly sort of way

they grow up really just... unable to communicate with one another clearly

karkat develops his ornery exterior in response to kankri's constant stream of opinions and frantic attempts at making up for the presence of a guardian in the house

i think there would actually be some really interesting parallels with rose in this au.. maybe i'm drawing from my own experiences as well but i think he'd begin to assume that every time his brother opens his mouth, he's going to criticize karkat

but instead of reacting like rose with the "making yourself more of a puzzle"/passive aggressive stuff, he gets a more defensive/hackles raised/"argue with you before you can argue with me" approach

and the thing is that they do love each other and would take a bullet for the other etc etc etc.. but they don't know how to express it because they've fallen into these shitty patterns

and it really doesn't help that kankri has grown somewhat resentful of signless over the years... that mix of resentment and fear and love gets more extreme and more polar every time signless gets injured during a political demonstration

i think kankri and signless would also be slightly closer than karkat and signless, as signless' job really only started to ramp up when karkat was less than years old and kankri was in his early double digits

kankri autistic btw its word of god (i am god)

karkat has a pet crab. its name is also karkat. he vents his frustrations to it.

i feel like the vantases exemplify both the best and worst parts of their aspects with one another as well... the strength of their bonds keeps them together and grounded, but TOO grounded. [insert Blood rant here]

the Blood rant:

i define Blood as bonds, responsibility, and the "core". if Life is the fertile soil and everything living on a planet's surface, then Blood is the gravitational core of the planet keeping everything together

i also think Blood, Heart, & Mind work in tandem to define a person just as blood serves to connect the pieces of the human body... Heart is the soul and the self, Mind is the application of one's self through active choices (agency), while Blood defines both the self and the choices one makes in greater detail [and, as an aside, Life provides the physical spark of life needed to keep the heart pumping blood]

OKAY wow that got tangential anyways

SO BASICALLY! too much Blood makes you stagnate, so for example:

kankri is split between staying home with karkat or going to college across the country and being truly unbound for the first time in years

another crisis of Blood: signless is caught between his empathy and responsibility to the whole world and his responsibility to his own children

okay so here's more status quo stuff:

the maryam and vantas kids grow up together and its hilarious because you'll see them all together and its just like (girlboss) (girlboss) (physical manlet) (emotional manlet)

the maryam girls are actually miss rosa's nieces but she took them in when they were both pretty young

the pyropes know the vantases well enough considering pyrope senior and sign have known one another from their respective legal practices for years, but they live on the other side of town

the leijons lived in town when kankri and meulin were very young, but they moved and travelled for a long time before coming back and reestablishing their roots

the captors (psii being one of sign's oldest and closest friends) move into town with the peixes family pretty early on though

the condesce is.. a horrible spouse and guardian, to put it plainly. she's very emotionally manipulative and isn't averse to smacking people around, including her own family. she moves herself and her perfect little family into town so she can properly oversee a new business venture close by

feferi is one of the best young swimmers in the country and has a pretty good shot of getting onto the olympic team.. a lot of this drive to be perfect and to be better results from the condesce's unrelenting pressure and thinly veiled resentment throughout her whole life

so yeah psii, )(ic, feferi, and sollux all live together and it's really not great for anyone involved. (meenah ran away years ago, and crashed on aranea's couch for a pretty long while—mituna moved out with latula for college before psii and the condesce got married)

it gets bad to the point of sollux staying with the maryams for two months while the adults try to sort out that absolute clusterfuck and get the divorce proceedings going (meenah finally convinces feferi to get out and come stay with her and aranea for the duration as well)

in terms of relationships i think latula and porrim were really really close in high school, and probably had some kind of unacknowledged thing going on for a while that never actually turned into anything because latula and mituna were going steady

kankri has had a crush on latula for years but never acted on it for similar reasons

meenah still carries a lot of that give no fucks attitude (it's developed moreso as a defense mechanism here) and can't understand why feferi refuses to leave the condesce with her

okay back to VANTAS MANPAIN i also think that karkat feels the weight of a lot of expectations on his shoulders as well

he feels responsible to live up to the example his dad and his brother set, even if it's to his own detriment—and kankri's oblivious rambling about his grades and his teachers and all his clubs certainly aren't helping the matter

kankri is one of those overinvolved kids taking a million AP's while simultaneously shitting on the collegeboard at every single step

hes this super overachiever anal retentive perfectionist type dude and (just as karkat preemptively criticizes others to forestall their criticisms of him only to harshly criticize himself) kankri subconsciously holds the people around him to the same expectations he holds for himself

so karkat also develops this sense of lacking which, in combination with everything else, culminates in self loathing and thinking he has to solve everyone else's problems and getting horribly mad at himself for every little mistake

GOD i have a lot more but lemme post this before i accidentally close out of the app and lose it all

more little details:

vriska's mom and terezi's mom HATE each other like HATE HATE HATE one another it's so bad

karkat wrote a ten page review of my immortal in middle school

jade is one of nepeta's best online friends

sollux can't raise one eyebrow at a time.. karkat gives him so much grief about it

the vantases eat a lot of shitty renditions of persian dishes until karkat learns to cook because literally the only person in the world with a CHANCE of getting KANKRI VANTAS to make an EDIBLE DISH is miss rosa

kanaya is really good at persian dance too but is VERY VERY embarassed to perform in front of people.. however porrim definitely is not

karkat has insomnia while kankri just stays up stupidly late for assignments that really shouldnt be taken that seriously.. but they both have the same rumination/sleep anxiety thing where your brain goes insane with horrible and depressing scenarios as you try to sleep

and more ideas that i thought were interesting but idk how to fit in the context of this au:

signless and disciple getting married pretty late in life after having been in love for years, the vantases move in with the leijons and karkat suddenly has two sisters

nepeta and karkat are both juniors at this point, meulin is probably in her third year at a local college nearby while kankri is about to start his second year at a university pretty far away

the kids in general honestly but ill figure it out

more random hcs this time with kids:

kanaya and rose get into a flame war online that gradually settles into elaborate courtship rituals

also nepeta + jade online besties

also bec can inexplicably still teleport

the first sbahj movie comes out and the next six months of dave strider junior's high school career are absolute hell

actually hc that dave senior goes by d strider professionally. the d stands for a lot of things

aradia and dave frequent a lot of the same forums but never end up really interacting

meanwhile karkat and john frequent a lot of the same forums and DEFINITELY end up interacting. this turns into grudging (at least on karkat's part) friendship after they find themselves fighting for their lives defending an objectively shitty movie together on the same thread

#humanstuck #vantas family #.

[prismatales]

An idea for Endeavor’s quirkless child maybe would be where reader gets the okay from the doctors at the hospital say Rei is stable enough to see reader even though she has red hair now? Or another interaction between Dabi and Reader would be great 👍 love your writings and can’t wait to see what you have planned!💕

This was actually a really good detail to consider, since Reader didn't really dye her hair because of what happened with Rei, but to go as unnoticed as possible in school. But I really enjoyed this, and hopefully so do you guys! 💖

Mom

Deep breaths, positive thoughts, don't drop the box.

Deep breaths, positive thoughts, don't drop the box.

Deep breaths, positive thoughts, don't drop the----

"Todo-chan?" The doctor's voice snaps you out of the anxious chanting going off inside your mind. Why were you nervous in the first place when visiting your mother at the hospital became a regular part of your routine?

Oh yeah....Because this was the first time after that incident five years ago that she'd be seeing you with red hair. You know it was completely different from last time, your mother's mental health is stable enough now, she was able to see Shoto without a problem after all....But the memories from that time still terrify you just thinking about it, the idea of going back to square one with her?

"My colleagues and I have talked it over, and I'm more than pleased to say it's alright to go see your mother as well as allow her to keep this gift of yours, based on the description we're positive it may help with her recovery"

There's confidence in each of her words, and that gentle smile of hers helps to ease the anxiety inside the pit of your stomach, a breathe of relief you didn't realize you'd been holding in escapes which send her into a small giggling fit, but she doesn't say anything else and offers to accompany you on the way to your mother's room

"Dr. Chigusa?" She glances in your direction with curiosity, this woman had been one of the people taking care of your mother since the very beginning of her treatment, her kind demeanor had quickly won over every single one of the Todoroki siblings, everyone who's met her knows that had she been there the day of the accident things would have probably gone differently...

The footsteps echoing through pristine halls are equally soothing and distressing, a seemingly endless hall keeps going and going till a certain room is eventually coming into sight.

"Yes dear?" She takes a small glance in your direction and stops walking, the way your hands grip the corners of the box tightly, she can easily perceive the insecurity and fear coming through every inch of your being, body shaking slightly once you observe that spot in the wall right besides the door, that spot where a young girl once sat with her back against the wall suffering in silence.

"...What if it happens again? I don't want to see my Mom going through that all over again"

Worry seeps from every pore in your body, heart pounding loudly against your chest it's a surprise the woman walking beside you doesn't hear a thing, panic surrounds every part of your being just by the memories of that day.

Chigusa grabs your shoulders gently, the moment her quirk activated all those feelings of doubt drifted away like traces of smoke being carried away withing soft currents of air.

"Listen (Y/N), your mother is an incredibly strong woman who's come a long way despite everything she had to endure, I promise you over my medical licence that everything is going to be alright...Do you trust me?"

Confidence radiates from each and every single one of her words, strongly enough to sway the most doubtful of hearts, even without needing to employ her quirk anymore, her eyes shining with assurance accompanied by the warm hold on your shoulders allows you to step forward to face the one thing that separates your mother from the rest of the world.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'll go in first and let her know you're coming, how does that sound?" God really blessed your family when Chigusa came into your mother's life.

She goes inside the room first just like she promised, leaving you in the hall alone with the box. After a few minutes boredom takes over and you start checking out some messages with our friends. Some of them send pictures of study sessions, the girls from Shoto's class are having a spa day at the dorms complete with face masks and cucumber in their eyes, there's also a text from Bakugo and his friends, one that makes your eyelid twitch in mild annoyance.

"I guess we can't call you Omurice head anymore, uh?" They say jokingly after seeing your new profile pic.

"Have you ever seen a hedgehog covered in glitter? Cause I think you will soon" You quickly text them back.

The door opens right after you send the message and Chigusa comes out with a big smile on her face.

"You can come in now Y/N, I'll give you two some space, but remember everything...?" She goes quiet, waiting for an answer as you inhale deeply before finishing her sentence.

"Is going to be alright"

"Good!" Then she leaves, not without sending another smile in your direction.

Turning back towards the door and staring for another few seconds you take another deep breath...and finally your hands push the door open. Sunlight illuminates the whole bedroom with beautiful shades of golden light...and right in front of the window your mother's sitting with her back facing the door.

"Here goes nothing..."

"Hi Mom"

Your eyes close in panic, a part of you expecting to hear the screams all over again just like that one time carved into your memories, instead the only thing perceived is silence, slowly looking back at her most serene look is adorning her features, confusion slowly morphing into that kind smile which had only been seen a couple of times when you were less than 6 years old.

"Y/N" The smile never left her face, not even when she took a good look and finally caught sight of the one thing that terrified you in the first place, despite that she didn't stop smiling.

"It's been a while since the last time you visited, is everything okay?"

Not only did it not affect her anymore but this time she paid no mind to it, making a wave of relief flow through your body, she noticed the way your shoulders began trembling.

"Yeah..." your hand wipes away a single tear threatening to come out, mouth curving into a tiny smile before looking back at her "Everything's alright..."

That's how part of the visit went, catching up with her after being unable to visit her for the past three weeks, the answer she got was half true to avoid scaring her.

After all being kidnapped by a psychopath and thrown off a building wasn't the best way to start a conversation, right? So all she was told was how busy you had been with classes, along with this new project.

Speaking of project...

"By the way Mom" You get up from the bed to get the box you had left in the small table "I asked the doctors if I could bring you this, is something I've been working on for a while now, and some senior students from school helped me out with it"

Rei gave it a curious glance, specially when you placed the box down on the floor and pulled out a smaller baby blue metallic box with no cover, inside the box there's this white ball that looks like plastic with a few black and brown spots.

"What is it?"

You smiled at her before pressing a small button on the edge of the box, the actions makes it let out a charging noise and the small ball slowly starts to inflate until its peaking out of the top.

Rei's eyes go wide when it starts taking the shape of a mix between a Japanese bob tail cat and a marshmallow, but the surprise is not over yet once the noise finally dies down and the "cat" slowly opens its metallic black eyes and starts looking around from left to right, once it catches sight of her the small thing carefully climbs out of the box like a small kitten.

"Fuyumi told me how much you love cats, and since it's not possible to have pets in here I talked about this project with the staff" The "cat" turns to look at you with curiosity, and when it gets a nod in response the first thing it does is dart straight towards your mother to nudge her feet. Surprising her by how soft its body feels.

"I heard having a pet around can be therapeutic, so It's programmed to behave like a domestic cat and keep you company"

While you explained its function the cat was already being cradled in your mother's arms, purring softly with every stroke of her fingers on its chin, the excitement on her face couldn't be more obvious once it bopped its face against her hand, demanding more of her attention just like a real cat would.

"Do you like it?" It was obvious she loves the little guy, but you still wanted to hear her answer with eagerness.

"I love it, does he have a name?" she asks happily, but you shake your head no.

"Not really, I wanted you to name it since well, it's your new pet now"

That's all she needed to hear.

"Thank you Y/N" She hugged the cat closer to her "Thank you so much"

In the end the last thing you tell her are the instructions, how the box is actually its charging station and it needs to be re-charged every now and then, and just in case something malfunctioned the staff had a small instructions manual and your number, in case it needed any repairs.

That afternoon you left her room with a bright smile and the ghost that haunted your memories finally gone, this time for good.

Nothing could ruin that moment for you while going back to the dorms with a bounce on your feet...Not even when you ran into someone and nearly fell on the floor had it not been for this mysterious person catching you by the wrist.

"I'm really sorry about that! I should have been more careful!" your voice comes out in a nervous squeak, face full of embarassment while this guy just kept staring at you, a black hoodie covering his head and even with the sunglasses he sported the feeling of his eyes staring at you was easily noticeable.

"It's fine, just be more careful next time, you never know who you might run into" The calmness in his voice made you glad he wasn't pissed off by crashing straight into them, but before any more words could be exchanged the characteristic sound of your ringtone went off.

"I need to pick this call, sorry about that again, see you!" Fishing the phone out from the bottom of your pockets the last thing he saw was a small wave aimed towards him before you ran off, this time paying attention to the surroundings while answering the call.

"See you soon...Firefly"

@t-amajiki @undead0relived @shoobirino @bnha-ra @godtieruwu @mysticalite

#mha imagine #bnha imagine #bnha imagines #mha imagines #todoroki rei #rei todoroki #Bnha #Mha #Reader insert #dabi is touya #dabi is a todoroki #bnha dabi

[gifted-burnout-archive]

Jim’s Best Friend

Part Twelve - Heaven On Earth

Word Count: 2154

Author’s Note: So, I hope you are all enjoying this story. I’m really loving writing it, and I think it might end up being quite a long story. Would you guys want shorter stuff? Mini series or one shots? If so, let me know! Happy to open up ask box for prompts.

WARNING: none.

March, 2007.

"You're so tan!" Pam squeaked as she pulled away, taking a hold of your hands. Jim was still hugging you from behind, his arms resting on your shoulders. "And skinny! Oh my God you look like a model." She complimented, and Jim laughed.

"You really thought we wouldn't come get you?" He said, registering your shocked face. You were lost for words in all honesty, and Jim broke away to take your bags for you. "Come on, airport parking is way too expensive." He marched ahead, bags in hand, as you and Pam shared a quick hug, arms linked as you followed after him.

"I can't believe you guys came... I just..." you felt tears in your eyes, and Pam cooed at you, squeezing your hand.

"Like we would let you do this alone? You need to check whatever voicemails Jan left for you, by the way. Jim was talking with her all afternoon." Pam said, and the pair of you exited the building into the warm May evening air, Jim waving you over from the car. You hurried towards him, Pam getting in the back and you taking shotgun. Jim started the engine and sped away, continuing to glance over at you expectantly. You looked back, laughing.

"What?!" You said, and he rolled his eyes.

"The voicemails!" He said, and you pulled out your phone, flipping it open and putting it on speaker as you dialled the voicemail number.

"You have 4 unheard messages." The automated voice announced, and a beep followed.

"Hi Y/N, Jan again. We got confirmation here, no doubt that you have been told too. I have a few leads going on, give me the day." Another beep. "Jan here. Jim got in touch with me, and we have some ideas." You glanced over at him, unable to stop the smile on your face appearing. Beep. "I talked with my boss at lunch, fought your case to stay with the company. He's going to talk with his boss... Progress, Y/N." The final beep. "Good news, finally! Get yourself to the Scranton branch by noon tomorrow, we'll be discussing your new role in the company with Michael... He's still unhappy about the whole leaving thing, but Pam softened him up a little. See you tomorrow... This is Jan, by the way. Right, goodnight." The call hung up, and you looked between the two of them.

"How did you..."

"We had some help... Dwight even pitched in, and Karen from Stamford." Pam explained, and you felt your heart close to bursting. Whatever fears and worries had been swept away by your friends, and you shook your head in amazement.

"I... I cannot believe you both. Thank you. Thank you!" You squealed, letting out a laugh. "I still have a job!"

—

You arrived in Scranton around 2 am, and after dropping off Pam at your old apartment, you and Jim headed towards his new place. With the transfer to Stamford came a pay rise, and Jim was now in a bottom floor two bedroom apartment in the Scranton suburbs, the guest bedroom already made up for your arrival. The drive over there was quiet, the radio playing some pop ballad as Jim turned into a quaint little street lined with blossom trees.

"Scranton sweet Scranton..." you muttered as the car parked in Jim's driveway, and you stepped out. Jim ran round to the trunk, grabbing your bags and insisting on carrying them, tossing you his house keys to let yourself in. You did so, and walked into the hallway.

Jim had been living there for a few months, but it was already home. His old couch in the living room up ahead, the pictures he used to keep on his kitchen pinboard now framed and decorating the wall to your left. Memories of his college years, of his years at Scranton, of you and Pam and Jim together, of his parents, and finally, of a woman you didn't yet know.

As Jim came through the door with your bags, he saw you looking at one photo in particular, and he closed the front door quickly, setting down your things and walking over, hands in pockets.

"That's Karen." He informed you, and you smiled wider.

"I can't wait to meet her." You said softly, and looked up at him. He hadn't changed much, still that goofy smile and mess of hair. But he looked more toned, losing what was left of his 'baby' fat, and he had seemed to have adopted a better dress sense.

"I have pizza arriving in about ten minutes." He said with a nervous laugh, and you reached up, hugging him for the first time in eleven months. The tension dissolved with it, that hug. His arms instinctively went for your waist, and he lifted you a little as you held onto him, your heel toes brushing against the floor.

"I missed you..." you said softly into his shoulder, breathing in the smell of Jim you had lost while you traversed the European continent, and he squeezed tighter.

"I missed you more..." He responded, and you stayed there a little longer, not wanting to let go. You had three-quarters of a year to make up for, after all.

You broke apart after a minute or two, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you pulled away and he placed you back on the floor.

"You watch for the pizza, I'll dump your stuff in your room?" He suggested, and you nodded, slipping into the kitchen and opening the fridge for some beer. You pulled out two cans, and headed through to the living room. You scooped up the cash Jim had left out as the doorbell rang, quickly paying for the pizzas and meeting Jim on the couch.

"I was going to pay, but all I have is euros..." You admitted, and Jim laughed, turning on the tv and taking a sip of his beer. You sat down beside him, and his arm went over the back of you, and you rested your head on his shoulder, sipping at your beer as Jim rambled, trying to grab your attention for picking a movie. You eventually sat up from your spot to get a slice of pizza, and Jim picked the first Men in Black.

And as you got comfy again, realising how much you had missed Scranton pizza and Jim's couch, you couldn't help but feel completely content. This was what you had left for work? In hindsight, it felt like the wrong decision, because this, Jim's laugh vibrating through your body and his finger drawing circles on your arm, this was heaven on Earth.

No European city could top pizza with Jim Halpert.

—

Jim didn't expect to be left breathless.

But when Y/N walked through those doors, he couldn't look away. In the harsh airport lighting, you almost glowed, and it caught him off guard how much eleven months could change you: your hair was darker, and had grown out a little, curling down past your shoulders now. You had gotten a tan after spending your time travelling southern Europe, and, despite the heartbreak that had led to you leaving in the first place, the smile that appeared on you face as Pam screeched and began running over was more than enough to steal away Jim's breath.

And it was a reminder of how much he missed you, every syllable that passed your lips, the scoffs and laugh, the way you rolled your eyes. And, once you were back at his place, it was the way you cuddled into him, your corny jokes,and those bright eyes that sparkled in low light.

When you passed out mid-film, he carried you up to the guest bedroom, laying you in the bed and turning off the lights before heading to his own room. The clock read 3.47 am, and Jim was ok not sleeping that night. It would have usually annoyed him, having to go into the office sleep deprived, but with you finally back, he couldn't help but be happy.

So, Jim didn't really sleep, instead closing his eyes and letting the silence wash over him, lying over the covers and breathing deeply. Resting, but never quite tipping the scales to unconsciousness. When his alarm clock went off, he jumped off the bed and headed to make you a fresh cup of coffee, with a splash of milk and a bucket load of sugar, how he always used to make it for you. He knocking gently on the door guest bedroom door, waking you.

"Y/N?" He called, and chuckled when you responded with a groan. He walked in, sitting on the edge of the bed as he waited for you to register his presence.

"Jim... Why the fuck did you let me sleep in jeans?" You whined, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and sitting up against the headboard. You gratefully accepted the coffee, and smiled after you tried it. "You remembered how I like it." You said with a gorggy voice, and Jim nodded.

"So, Jan is going to be at the office at 12, so if you want to stay here and sleep longer I can leave you a set of keys?" He suggested, and you shook your head, taking another sip and blinking fast, trying to wake up.

"No, I'll come in with you, I'd love to distract the office for a morning." You giggled, and Jim grinned. He loved that sound.

"Well, I'll leave you to get ready. Shower and stuff are through there... Leave in an hour?" You nodded along with his words, and Jim disappeared out the bedroom door. You sat in bed for a little longer, finishing up your coffee and admiring the view of the cherry blossoms you had from the window. Once the mug was truly empty, you sorted through your suitcase, retreiving the basics, and went about the process of getting ready: showering, drying and styling your hair, applying makeup, brushing your teeth, the works. And after picking out a white boat neckline blouse and burgundy pencil skirt, your slipped into some complimenting heels and double checked your handbag still had everything you needed.

You left your bedroom to find Jim searching for his other shoe, his shirt half tucked in to his trousers, odd socks on his feet.

"Halpert..." You got his attention, and he looked up at you, stopping in his tracks. You gestured to the coffee table, under which sat his other shoe.

"Ah, thanks." He said with a goofy smile, half-embarassed. You walked over after he had slipped it on, and buttoned the top buttons of his shirt, fixing his tie into place.

"There we go, now you don't look like a guy leaving a strip club." You teased him, and he rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Start the car? I just need to grab my bag." Jim requested, and you nodded, taking the keys from the bowl by the door and heading out into the driveway, unlocking the doors of Jim's silver Subaru and putting your handbag in the back, slipping into the driver's seat and starting the engine. Jim appeared a few seconds later, locking the front door quickly and jumping in the passenger side, raising an eyebrow to you.

"What? They drive on the right in Europe. We'll be fine." You promised, and Jim turned on the radio as you pulled out of the driveway. "I will need directions though." You added.

"Left at the end, next big junction take a right, follow the road until you spot the usual turn for the business park." Jim said, settling into his seat. The previous song on the radio ended, and the DJ announced a new track, the beat making you and Jim share a look. It was far too early for a sing along car ride, true, but neither of you could resist.

"Love me, love me, say that you love me!" Jim sang out in a falsetto, handing the imaginary microphone to you.

"Say that you love me!" You sang along through laughter.

"Fool me, fool me-"

"Go on and fool meee." The back and forth of the song, followed by Jim's rendition of 'Piano Man', arrived you both at the office out of breath from giggles and five minutes early. And you looked up at the building, taking a gulping breath.

A whole year, and you were back again. Parked in the same spot, looking up at the building you had so willingly left for Europe. It hadn't changed, but you had, and a sudden pit opened in your stomach. What if everyone hated you? Resented you for leaving?

"You go ahead Jim... I need to make a quick call." You lied, but Jim seemed to buy it. He gave your hand a squeeze and left you to it.

You had come home, and you had never been more terrified.

--

Tags: @imsuperawkward​ @rosie2801​ @onceuponahuntersrealm​

#au #jim halpert #michael scott #pam beesly #dwight schrute #the office #jim halpert x reader #jim x reader #office au #reader #reader insert #reader is female #romance #friendship #pam and jim #jim and pam #slow burn #from season 1 #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #john krasinski #steve carell #jenna fischer #rainn wilson #jackryanplz #part twelve

[mexcraziness-art]

Naruto OC: Saisari Haruno

Me: I'm just going to quickly throw up a ref of my MoriSaku kid for fun Also me: *Spends the entire week on it*

Name: Saisari Haruno

Birthdate: September 25th (Libra)

Gender: Male

Age: 13

Height: 150 cm

Weight: 42 kg

Blood Type: A

Affiliation: Konohagakure

Rank: Genin

Nature Type:

   -          Earth Release

Parents:

   -          Sakura Haruno

   -          Morio Haruno

I don’t actually have a really worked out background or personality for him yet, so the next sections are just pretty much gonna be me spewing fun facts and headcanons about Morisaku and Saisari.

Also bear with me, I haven’t actually re-watched every episode of Shippuden yet, and my memories are foggy.

 Background:

In an alternate universe where everyone gets the good things they deserve, after Sakura initially rejected Morio they still met up in the medical tents occasionally, Morio offering to help out with whatever he could while he was still out of commission. From that they started to meet and chat on their breaks, and Sakura actually grew rather fond of him. She ended up finding his letter that he gave her before and this time she actually read it. (I have never seen a love letter in my life, one day I’ll think of something of what it could have said IDK) Anyways long story short, she was so touched by it she actually agreed to go on a date with him once the war was over.

After the war they haven’t seen eachother for a while but they stayed in contact through letters and eventually Morio came to Konoha and they started dating.

They married and Sakura got pregnant with Saisari soon after the events of The Last movie, Saisari was born on September 25th.

Growing up he learnt Earth Release from Morio, who in the meanwhile retired from the shinobi life and became a house husband, and chakra control and taijutsu from Sakura, even though he could never reach the refined levels she had at his age.

During the events of Boruto, he’ll probably take Sarada’s place on the New Team 7, also because in this world Sarada would probably be Karin and Sasuke’s daughter, but that’s a different topic.

Personality:

As far as his personality goes he took mostly after his father, Morio, he’s generally soft, sweet and kind, he’s also easily embarassed, some might even say he’s timid or shy at times. He’s also very helpful towards everyone. He can also be a smartass at times, he’s pretty book-smart and he likes showing-off with his knowledge and fun-facts. On the flip-side sometimes he’s judgemental when someone doesn’t know something he considers basic knowledge, or behaves in a way that’s strange to him. Having inherited both the Will of Fire and the Will of Stone, he’s also incredibly stubborn once he sets his mind on something, and he deeply cherishes his friends, these two things combined make him a real challenge on the battlefield, and also make him a protective and loyal friend.

Relationships:

Sakura:

Saisari greatly admires his Mother and looks up to her in essentially every aspect. The work she does at the Hospital, her medical ninja abilities, her strength, her accomplishments during the war, he wishes to one day grow up to be a shinobi of her caliber. He only wishes she’d have little less of a short temper during their training sessions, she’s not as ruthless as Tsunade used to be with her, but Saisari is much softer than she was and it’s stressing him out a lot.

 Morio:

He’s generally on the same wavelength with his Father about nearly everything. He tends to emotionally confide in him and talk about his problems more, because he feels less of an urge to impress him than he does with Sakura. He also loves to listen to his Father talk about Iwagakure and learn more about his home and costumes. One of his favourite pastimes is practing Earth Release with him.

 (As for the others��� not gonna lie, I’ve seen the first few episodes of Boruto and the Movie a while back, but I have no idea what most of the charachters are like, so I’m going to only list the most notable ones I have some slight ideas for.)

Boruto:

So far I think Saisari would be pretty good friends with Boruto, since they were little they used to hang out a lot due to their parents. After Naruto became Hokage and Boruto started misbehaving he’d occasionally get dragged along but he’d try to avoid trouble as much as he can, in fear of Sakura having his head.

Mitsuki: 

I have no idea honestly, I think he’d initially find him wierd, but he’d grow rather fond of him as he gets to know him. They’d probably even get along great eventually.

Sumire: Saisari really looks up to her for how she turned her life around after everything she’d been through. He also greatly admires her for her skills and intelligence. He also has the biggest crush imaginable on her.

Abilities:

His skill levels are generally on an average level. He’s not particularly good at Genjutsu, he has absolutely no skills for medical ninjutsu, his strategy skills aren’t outstanding and he isn’t really skilled for leadership. His only outstanding abilities are his Chakra Enchanced Taijutsu and Earth Release that his parents personally train him in.

Taijutsu:

He’s very skilled in close and hand-to-hand combat. Sakura tried to teach him medical ninjutsu, but he totally failed at that, his chakra control not being refined enough. However it was good enough that she taught him how to use Chakra Enhanced Strentgh by concentrating chakra in various parts of his body. However due to his only-slighty-above-average chakra control, this is very taxing on him, and exhausts him quickly.

Ninjutsu:

He can perform all the basic jutsu Genin are capable of, like the Clone Jutsu and Substitution Jutsu.

Earth Release:

Morio’s been teaching Saisari various Earth Release tecniques since he was about 10 years old. By the time he’s 13 he has an outstanding array of Earth Release Jutsus at his disposal. He’s very proud of his Earth Release abilities, as he feels it’s part of his heritage, always working hard to improve and learn new techniques. Where his general skill sets are lacking, he makes up for it with his Earth Release techniques. Some say he’s well on his way to becomming an Earth Release specialist.

 By the age of 13 he’s able to use the following Earth Release jutsus:

 -          Earth Release: Earth Spear: The latest Earth Release jutsu Saisari has learnt, and so far the only one that wasn’t taught to him by Morio. He came across it himself when he was studying about Earth Release jutsus for the Chunnin Exams, and together with Sakura’s chakra training he learnt it all by himself. As of right now it leaves a lot to be desired and it leaves him greatly exhausted but it has the potential to be his strongest jutsu one day.

 -          Earth Release: Underground Split

-          Earth Release: Tunnelling Technique

-          Earth Release: Tearing Earth Turning Palm

-          Earth Release: Shadow Clone

-          Earth Release: Rock Trail

-          Earth Release: Earth-Style Wall

-          Earth Release: Rock Shelter

-          Earth Release: Rock Gun Technique

-          Earth Release: Reverse Antlion

-          Earth Release: Hiding in Rock Technique

-          Earth Release: Earth Wave Technique

-          Earth Release: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique

 Other skills:

He’s very creative with paper bombs and other explosives. His favourite type of offense is combining his Earth Spear jutsu with a bunch of paper bombs. He jumps amongst the enemy, hardens his skin to withstand the explosion and sets of the bombs right there.

Weaknesses:

His greatest weaknesses are his average chakra levels and imperfect chakra control. He may be slightly-above-average, but his techniques are very chakra taxing, and they leave him very exhausted very fast. His strategy skills are also lacking, when left to his own devices he tends to become much more rash and get ahead of himself, which usually ends up with him chakra exhausted and vulnerable.

I wanted to finish this in 2 days, I have so many other things to draw, I hate how I just can't get faster, BUT I'm pretty happy with how he turned out, so there's that.

Art b @mexcraziness-art

Naruto belongs to  Masashi Kishimoto

#Naruto #Naruto OC #Naruto Fankid #MoriSaku #Sakura Haruno #Good Things AU #reference sheet #Morio Haruno #Saisari Haruno

[irenadel]

i wanna talk books so I made a meme

@doorsclosingslowly here’s the answers to your questions :)

6. If you read in more than one language, is there a difference between the experience of reading in your native language(s) and reading in other languages?

Virginia Woolf has a great quote in A Room of One’s Own where she says that women writers need to develop their own “sentence” and that this can only be developed through creating a tradition of female writing. She says that while reading male writers is pleasurable, it isn’t useful for the female writer, that she can’t learn from the way men write. Their “sentence” isn’t suitable for female writing. I’m.... unsure of how much I agree with her on this but I find the theory useful for describing how I approach literature in Spanish vs English.

Especially in terms of language, not so much in regards to narrative or worldbuilding or even themes, I find Spanish to be pleasurable but not useful. I very rarely find myself reading something in Spanish and thinking “ooooh, I wish I could do that! I want to steal that! How did they come up with this?” The “sentence” for writing in Spanish isn’t one I recognize or want to imitate... except maybe for VERY few exceptions like Carlos Fuentes and Borges. Whereas I can spend a lot of time reading English un-selfconsciously and then suddenly be struck by a turn of phrase that I must somehow or other make my own. That almost never happens to me when reading Spanish.

9. Fiction or non-fiction or both? In what ratio? Where do you draw the line between the two?

Oh god, this is embarassing. Erm... fiction to a fault. On 2020 and 2019 I did try to make a concerted effort to read more nonfiction, ESPECIALLY more popular science books. I still kind of childishly consider myself to not be “smart like that” and that science isn’t for me, because I don’t understand it. I used to think science fiction wasn’t for me, for similar reasons. When I do read nonfiction it tends to be history and literary criticism.

I’m finishing my degree on English literature and though I had a period of hating hard on literary criticism, I think it was mostly me rebelling against the French brand of it. I HAVE to admit I love reading new historicism, especially now that I’m working on my dissertation and I had to read a lot on Elizabethan and Jacobean theatre.

Hopefully 2021 will be the year I read a bit more science.

11. The worst book hangover you’ve ever had

Augh... I remember two in recent years. Let me see... in 2017 I finished the last book in the Realm of the Elderlings. I had read the first book in the series around maybe the mid 2000s. I devoured it in a single weekend, still hungry for more of the story. I did not have access to the rest of the trilogy for a couple of years after, but as soon as I got them I read them as fast as I could. I remember reading those books during class, pretending to pay attention to a lecture on Linguistics but actually fully engrossed in Robin Hobb’s world.

It’s a world that was with me for more than 10 years. Characters that I knew intimately from multiple re-readings for more than 10 years. My dissertationg is about the first trilogy for crying out loud! I hadn’t wanted to read the last trilogy and the last book on the trilogy because I didn’t want that connection to end. But finally I gave in...

It was a book hangover because I was reading late at night when I realized, halfway through the book, a character I loved deeply was probably going to die and I just HAD to know, I HAD to be sure. So I read through the night going from disbelief to anger, to grief, to grim acceptance. I wasn’t able to put down the book until 11 am the next day, by which point I was openly sobbing and would have thrown the book across the room except I think I was reading in my computer.

The second book hangover I remember was less because of sprinting through the book and more because of the circumstances. Last December I had decided to finish as many books I could in hopes of reaching my Good Reads goal (which I didn’’t) and I was going through His Dark Materials pretty quickly when on the 25th I got the news that my grandmother died. I wasn’t able to go see her at the hospital or at a funeral, or even go see my dad and uncles because she had died of covid-19 and the situation was still pretty dire in the city.

Then Philip Pullman decided to be an absolute asshole to me and the characters in his book arrived to the Land of the Dead. Being an atheist fantasy series and me having just recently come to terms with the fact that I’m not even agnostic... it was very tough to go through Pullman’s exploration of mortality and the importance of life on Earth. I agreed completely that materiality and the here-and-now far outweigh any contemplations of an afterlife... but my grandmother had died very suddenly.... she had still been a pretty strong old lady before she contracted covid... I had spoken to her a couple of days before and she was still strong enough to bitch about litter getting inside her room...

I finished The Amber Spyglass in a rush as well and somehow it got mixed with my mourning process and my anger at myself for having taken my grandmother’s life for granted... for not having cherished the materiality of her existence when I had the chance... I hadn’t finished writing my dissertation’s first draft yet and there were some heavy issues going on in my household.... I was exhausted from having to survive the year and I think I still am... and it all mixed up with the bittersweet ending of Pullman’s His Dark Materials and the inevitability of loss... all I remember from between the 25th and the 31st of December 2020 was exhaustedly reheating Christmas food, trying to write, and slogging through The Amber Spyglass... it feels like it was a week-long literary hangover...

14. The book that, in hindsight, really should have clued you in to the fact that you’re _________ (queer/in love/doomed to be an academic/etc)

So this is slightly NSFW but I should have known, and stopped being such a snob about it, that I had WAY MORE in common with the furries than I cared to admit given that my first impression of Smaug the Golden when reading The Hobbit at the tender age of 8 was “wow! he’s dreamy!” *facepalm *(also betraying a worrying tendency to crushing on irredeemable assholes and other miscellaneous villains...) I have accepted my status as a weird monsterfucker AND a weird alienfucker. Inhuman anatomy makes me hot, and I should have known it from DAY ONE!

23. The book you expected to hate, didn’t, and then got angry about not hating

The Hunger Games, which I’m STILL salty about and will probably remain salty about for the rest of my life.

I hateread it because a friend told me about how he hated it, given his bitter ex loved it and though I agree with all his criticisms and have a bunch of my own... I still cannot stop finding stupid Katniss profoundly likeable! CURSES! A pox upon your house Suzanne Collins! I still think your dystopia is a cowardly, white-lady-who-has-never-feared-state-violence dystopia, I still think your love triangle was absolutely unnecessary and I still think you tried to cop out of admitting you (and your character) like pretty dresses by making the pretty dresses compulsory. Be brave! Don’t give me this “I’m not like other girls” bullshit! Be brave! Make your violent spectacle reality show as a criticism of the USA’s consumerism and callousness a voluntary thing! Don’t wash your heroine’s hands clean of the sin of wanting fame and fortune and survival at all costs!

But... fuck... I... still like Katniss... I’m glad little girls in 2008 got a heroine who kicked ass, looked good and wasn’t a perfectly strong and powerful person all the time. I’m glad they got competence and vulnerability... Fuck my life...

31. Bonus question: rec me something!

This is hard... since I get the feeling we have very different tastes in reading material but... If you haven’t heard of the Vampire: The Masquerade roleplaying game (or even if you have) take a crack at the Baali Clanbook. Even if you don’t understand the game mechanics I think you’ll enjoy the history portion because it’s about a clan of devil-worshipping vampires who do their devil worshipping through implanting evil insects on people... and I suspect it might be up your alley...

#book meme #doorsclosingslowly