#autistic poetry

[theoriginalmkp]

#RedInstead

the smiling woman talks about teaching the children to use inside voices, to have quiet hands and across the world I feel the collective wince, the cutting off, the knowing of always being too much

the tearful woman talks about grieving the child lost, the life stolen, the dream destroyed and across the world I feel the collective flinch, the inwards collapse, the shrinking in of self

the autistic woman talks about childhood trauma, unintentional gaslighting, cruelties labeled kindness and across the world I feel the collective sharp intake of breath, the shaky exhale, the swallowed sob

the feeling of being known and what comes after:

the collective steadying of heartbeats, the squaring of shoulders, the stubborn lift of chin the defiant flapping of hands, the insolent dropping of masks, the ever growing rumble of sound—

autistic voices are speaking. it's time to listen.

#poetry #spilled ink #spilled poetry #poets on tumblr #autistic poetry #actually autistic #red instead #pov: first person #poetry: 2023 #final line still in flux

[ghoulpoole]

body parts - zine coming may 1st.

do you like queer poetry?

do you want to see a mediocre artist trying their very best?

do you hate the medical system? do you want to be seen as a whole body and not just a pile of body parts?

or maybe you just wanna watch the world burn.

then this zine could be for you. i cant say it cures or treats a disease, but the FDA can't stop me from saying it will make you healthier.

dm me if you want to know more or want a paper copy.

#trans zine #zine #art zine #queer zine #queer art #trans art #audhd #trans #queer #transgender #poetry #queer poetry #trans poetry #autistic poetry #writeblr

[specialinterestsgalore]

Poetry + Collage Art #1-5

Written 6/30/23-7/3/23

Poetry text under the cut

#1:

I am filled with anger

I so wish to be freed from it

It is the destiy of every girl

To be consumed by anger

There will be no escape

The only relief will come with

Love

Buy how can I find it?

It feels so far away

#2:

God made me in his own image.

I do not know if this was meant to be a gift or a punishment

Does my God love himself so much

That he needed to give

The joyous gift of his life to another creature?

Or is he so consumed by hatred

That he needed another to feel

His pain?

Which is preferable?

That my God gave me a gloriously misguided gift,

That has been the root of all

My suffering,

Or

That his punishment is working?

I will never know what I did to deserve either.

#3:

Women will always suffer

The worst consequences for the actions of men.

Your mother shames you

For showing too much skin,

In an attempt to protect you from the prying eyes of Men.

You hate her for this.

Just as she hated her mother

For her attempts at providing protection.

Your classmate offers up other girls

As victims, in an attempt to save herself.

She will never be forgiven for this.

Your sister avoids boys to shield herself.

She is a tease and a prude.

But she watched her friend give them

Anything they asked for.

She was a whore, an undesirable.

There is no escape from this fate.

The game will never end.

#4:

It is amazing

That in this age of technology,

Where none of us are ever truly alone,

Always watched,

Always monitored,

I am able to feel

Completely,

Utterly,

Alone.

I know others feel the same.

And yet I cannot feel

Connected to them.

I so desperatly want to be.

I don't know how it's done.

And I fear I may never learn.

#5:

I am a presence that is tolerated

At best

I want to love very fiercely

And receive the same.

But I do not think it's possible.

I am too much at all times.

Too loud or too quiet.

Too excitable or too stoic.

I cannot find balance

And I do not want to.

I quite like myself

But I would also like to feel

Loved.

I am not sure others are capable

Of loving me in this state.

I have rarely felt affection,

And I am beginning to believe

This is my destiny.

#my art #my poetry #poetry #collage #collage art #junk journal #poems #poems on tumblr #original poem #poems and poetry #autistic poetry #art #artwork #scrapbook

[theinsomniacindian]

Autistic loneliness is so unbearably complicated.

The craving of wanting a warm and cosy relationship eats you up but the repulsion towards opening up about yourself always lingers like a sheen of invisible frost.

A kaleidoscope of secrets lies under your skin that begs to be released but is not made for the horrors of the outside world. It's too bright, too weird, too different for others to understand it. So it remains caged within, festering and crumbling under the barely-there weight of emptiness.

Regardless of how well you can mutilate and crimp yourself into a more-palatable human form, you'll always be that outsider who almost doesn't fit the guidelines of a regular human.

#autism #asd #actually autistic #neurodivergent #autistic loneliness #this is why i'm neutral towards irl relationships in general #i'm pretty sure all the people around me don't want to interact with me either #autism poetry #autistic poetry #my first post #the insomniac archives

[dialogues-across-centuries]

The Cardinal

My new friend came to visit On a warm December day, His feathers blazed w/ crimson Like Apollo's setting rays.

He perched atop the sycamore & chirped his morning tune To bask me in a rhythm born Of some immortal's boon.

He sang to me sweet melodies Of Nature's timeless play, Enraptured me w/ zealous glee, & bid me fly his way.

I felt my spirit loosen from  Its fleshly mortal frame, & drift towards the lucid hum Of his seashore refrain.

Without so much a warning word, He whisked my soul away, The two of us but soaring birds Above the ocean's bay.

— T.M.P.

#poets corner #writerscreed #greek mythology #daily poem #poets of tumblr #poetry #original poetry #poetsandwriters #writers and poets #spilled ink #spilled thoughts #spilled words #short poem #my poerty #original poets on tumblr #light academia #aesthetic #spiritual poetry #autistic poetry

[seventhpine]

ENVY

I resent all the things I never get to do. You hang out with your friends while I waste away, alone in my room. My days occupied by watching you as you spend yours doing what I never get to do.

Eyes on your face as I watch you live, in wonder at all the things that you have. It's a crime that I will not forgive. The smile you wear; my envy turns to loathing. I hate you for the life that you live.

I hate these thoughts within my head and I hate you for words you never said. You flaunt all the things I never get. I hate you as my blood runs red. I hate you so much, I wish you were dead.

Taking your life for granted, in which I take your life so merriment-rich. For my sake, I will bear the itch. Now that I am who wears your flesh, I'll do all the things I never did.

Watching other people live out their lives makes you resentful of the life you never had. The monster known as envy grows within me, giving way to darkness and madness.

Concept based on my own experiences and rooted in the skewed view of other peoples' lives that you get from social media that only makes the problem worse.

I feel like I've always been watching other people live out lives I can't have, elways wanting what I didn't have. People tend to show only the best parts of their lives on social media sites such, making me ever hyperaware of this facet of my life.

In a literal sense, this poem is about envy driving someone to murder another and wear their skin. In a less literal sense, it can be seen as a metaphor for the drive that pushes people like me to mask my traits and internalize the traits of neurotypical society in the feeling that my only recourse to be happy is to take on an identity that is not mine.

The monster known as envy grows within me, giving way to darkness and madness.

#writerblr #creative writing #poetry #poem #writing community #poetry and poems #writing #horror #horror poetry #dark poetry #autistic poetry #neurodivergent poetry

[salvageandsagepoetry]

#poetry #poem #poet #writers and poets #poets on tumblr #poems and poetry #poems on tumblr #poems #original poem #autistic #autistic things #autistic poetry #audhd #neurodivergent #anxienty

[sillysonneteer]

Me, Oceanum.

I love the sailor. I love the sailor that calls me beautiful, says he worships me for taking care of him. He loves my fish, he loves my air. He loves the way my salt-whipped wind ruffles his curls. 

He loves how I love him, how I take care of my sailor. Oh, my sailor.

He will never know how much I love his smile. He smiles when he receives his fish. I will do anything to make you smile, my sailor. He glides across my waves and curves with his skiff, gently gliding across the edges of my heart. He says he feels at home with me, he relies on me to live. Please rely on me, my sailor.

I give my sailor more. He comes to my waves and he leaves with nets full. It hurts, but that smile makes it worth it. He tells his friends about me, and how good I am for him. He is so happy, I love you my sailor.

Do you think about me? Do you think about my beautiful blues and greens? The way the sun reflects off of my soft ripples? You come back, your boat is bigger. You come closer, feeling every bump, every current, every wave. I love you, my sailor. Take all you please from me, every hole in this heart of mine shows me you care too.

I have holes throughout this body. My ecosystem suffers, more boats come from shore. My sailor, your boat has grown. Your nets drag against my waves and your hull slams against my sides. I gave you the last of my fish, 3 mackerel.

“Are you serious? You can do so much better than this. Why did I ever put my faith in you.”

I'm sorry, my sailor. I will do better next time. Maybe when you come back, it’ll just be us. It can be me, you, and your skiff. No big hands touching where it hurts, no strange men, nothing but us. My sailor, please let us go back.

I haven’t seen you since that last day. Nobody has come back, you spread rumor that my body was used up. My ecosystem is back, and you died. Your body dumped in my water, for you claimed me to be the last you had ever loved. I hate you, why must I carry your burden?

No matter how much I loathe, no matter how much I seethe, you are always here, I miss you, sailor. The sailor that cherished what I gave like nobody else. I suffered for you, and your body lay on my floors, a mass of grave wax. You claimed to love me, but you only loved how I gave to you.

I would do anything to see your smile again, my sailor.

#poetry #poet #autism #autistic #autistic poetry #poem #love #original poetry #poets on tumblr #relationship #lovers #i love him #longing #mitski #lgbtq #lgbtqia #pride #queer #queer poetry #queer poems

[visgrapplinghooks]

scissors

they held a pair of scissors it was hard to make out much else the dark and shadow concealed but that much was clear it was a pair of scissors

for some reason i could not move my feet were rooted far more firmly than even the oldest trees i opened my mouth as if to say something but no sound came out and i was not sure if i even had something to say at all

they drew nearer still clutching that pair of scissors my breath fell to my stomach keeping myself still i willed my blood to stop flowing as if it would stop their approach

it was not long before they reached me their grip taking told of my hair every strand crying out for help for someone anyone to save them

snip snip snip snip snip snip snip

and they were dead

i fucking hate haircuts

#writing #poetry #poem #poems #creative writing #writers of tumblr #horror #horror poetry #writerblr #scissors #creepy #terrifying #autism #autistic poetry #im losing my marbles #antihorror

[ghoulpoole]

ashes

long past burning out,

i am ashes.

my soul is ashen red sand

that stretches miles in all directions.

it’s too hot to touch,

yet it meets your feet as honored guests.

it’s that upon which

only your shadow rests.

its defies your perceptions

when you see its shimmering valleys

from the recalcitrant hills up which

you keep traveling.

it’s this secretive thing

before you unraveling,

empty but huge,

lifeless but wild,

silent but true.

fires burn out

and ice sheets will crack,

but my relentless desert soul

will persist to the

end of the world and back.

will you?

#poetry #queer poetry #trans poetry #autistic poetry #neurodivergent poetry #writeblr

[specialinterestsgalore]

Poetry + Collage Art #6-10

Written 10/4/23-10/16/23

Poetry text under the cut

#6

My first act, Before I was even brought into this world Was a suicide attempt. I squeezed my own umbilical cord, Cutting off my oxygen And my connection to my mother. Perhaps I knew this world was not designed for me. Could I sense that I was about to be ripped From all comfort and safety? Despite this, I find that when I imagine The joy that must have been felt In that hospital room I am quite glad I didn't succeed. For the most part.

#7

I don't understand. Everything I do is wrong And I don't know how to cope With the fact that it will always be this way. It is so exhausting To know that it is all my doing. I make mistakes. I say it wrong. The common denominator In my lifelong isolation Is me. The very essence of me Repels people. Every connection I make Can only be surface level. Once they see deeper than that They leave me. They must leave. I am wrong.

#8

I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself I will say it until it's True. I will say it for Eternity.

#9

I want to be a dragon. I need to shed this form. The Dragon is perfect. She is unsettling. She inspires awe. She is beautiful. The Human is disgustingly flawed. She is unsettling. She is wrong. She is weak. I feel it in my bones. The craving For the freedom of the sky For the leathery wings For the hardened scales For the strength of the claws- Ready to crush or caress. I need to become Her.

#10

I came here From the uncanny valley. I clawed my way up For a better life. I think it was a mistake. I cannot be welcome here. They can tell I do not belong. They feel that something is wrong With me. I wish to return To the valley. It will be best for everyone If I can find my way home; I must be welcome there. The people must not feel repelled by me. Please.

#my art #my poetry #collage art #collage #scrapbook #junk journal #autistic poetry #poems and poetry #poetry #original poem #poems #poems on tumblr #poem #paper collage #paper craft #papercraft #autism #autistic artist

[remnantsoftheuniverse]

- apologies

[image id: there's a deep and hungry feeling/in my chest/that appears only in the dips of conversation/that i do not know how to describe.

it is automatic/and eats away at my stomach like/a black hole eats a star/and drags me in with it.

it is all-encompassing/and threatens to spill from my lips/like tears slipping down my cheeks.

it begs me,/apologize./apologize./apologize.

i don't know what it wants me to say.

i'm sorry./i'm sorry./im sorry.

(i'm sorry i can't offer you more./i'm sorry i don't know how to be human./i'm sorry i messed up./i'm sorry i laughed wrong./i'm sorry i did that.

i'm sorry.) end id]

#runes poetry #poetry #poem #autistic poetry #despair #apologies #written 08/12/23 #pls tell me if i did the id wrong! i want to fix it if its not working well haha

[neuroticqueer]

To Love Without Fear is to Love With Eyes Closed Right now I am, Watching you from my desk, Sleeping, In my bed.

It is 3am and my assignment is overdue by four days now. You brought me dinner, Not for the first time, Because you know I forget, To eat. I told you I couldn’t wait, For this trimester to be over, So that I could try, Being a better girlfriend, For the three weeks before the next one starts. You told me the bare minimum is far beyond your expectations.

I am watching you, Sleep, In my bed, and I love you, More than I can, Allow myself to feel.

I worry, That I am, Wrong, That human intricacies are beyond my perceptual capabilities, That I am not enough of a person to be loved, As more than an idea, Or a duty to be fulfilled. And yet I keep loosening, The tap, letting just a little bit more of me, Flow just a little more freely, Waiting for you, To wake up, And realise that I am not what you thought, I am not, Something to want.

You haven’t, Yet. You’ve let me, Wash over you instead.

I am watching you, Sleep.

#poetry #prose #poems on tumblr #poems #sapphic #wlw #lesbians #autistic poetry #autism #relationships are hard when you're autistic and have no idea what you're doing

[seventhpine]

Glass

Forever am I trapped inside a glass box, confined; I press my hand against the window-wall and you- Your hand raises to meet mine, But no matter how hard we try, we never touch.

Someday, you will stop trying to meet my hand, Turn away from my box as a passing curiosity, But I never stopped pressing my hand, and I never could turn away from these walls, Walls that surround me on all sides, Not in the way that you could.

I lay myself bare before the walls, on display; I become a display for everyone to see, All in the hopes that someone might notice me.

When you walk away, do you still remember me?

#poetry #writerblr #creative writing #poem #writing community #poetry and poems #writing #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #neurodivergent poetry #autistic poetry #asd #actually asd #actually autistic #actually neurodivergent

[incredibly-deadly-viper]

weird kid- a poem about being a late-diagnosed autistic + being seen as a list of problems by doctors.

#actually autistic #autism #late diagnosed autistic #autistic artist #autistic poetry #notes app poetry #poetry

[dialogues-across-centuries]

The Logos

First, There was The Void,

& then There was The Word;

Imagination is God,

Language is the Essence,

& Expression is the animating force That breathes Life into the Universe & manifests reality into being.

Life is an empty parchment.

Mind is the quill, Intention the ink,

& Conscious Action the art of Creation.

Each of us is the scribe & co-author, Crafting our epic w/ our thoughts, Choices, attitudes, & beliefs;

Though we may have been gifted w/ a basic plot and setting, We alone determine the Direction of our story.

—T.M.P.

#spilled ink #writerscreed #poets of tumblr #poetsandwriters #poetscommunity #spilled poetry #spilled thoughts #smittenbypoetry #Poet #autistic poetry #art #aesthetic #wordsnquotes #poems and quotes #quote of the day