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ceesimz · 9 days

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The Mountain Is You

Part 2 of 'Our Sun Is Setting'

Barcelona. Once a place that felt like home to you, yet now as you clamber into the back of your taxi outside of the airport, it's the same but different.

Same sun, different warmth. Same air, different atmosphere. Same airport, different kind of departure.

Same person tying you down to this city, different dynamic.

If you thought a lot could change in two days, you had no idea what could happen in eighteen months. Turns out, a lot could change too, but thankfully for the sake of your sanity, the mental blows were not so big and not so frequent this time around. You doubt you would be in this situation now, back in the city you love, if it wasn't for your grandparents. They welcomed you with open arms and endless amounts of baked goods as soon as they caught wind of you coming home.

For the first month you stayed with them, most of that time was spent in the spare bedroom they made up for you, not quite holding the confidence or will power to do much else other than feel sorry for yourself. Some days you would walk their dog with them, other days you wouldn't leave the room. Some days you would do as many chores possible for them as a thank you, other days your Grandmother would sit beside you up against the headboard whilst you lay beside her as she read her book out loud, one hand gently running through your hair as she went. Some days you'd all laugh about shared memories of your Mother, other days you'd cry into each other's arms.

Something clicked inside you along the way though. One day you just woke up with a certain determination, and the look on your Grandfather's face as you wandered into the kitchen at 7am was enough to force a few giggles out of you before ushering him to join you on an early morning walk. That was when you voiced your new thoughts to him.

"I think I'm going to start applying for jobs again soon. You know, get out of your hair a little bit." You said to him, smiling when he tutted and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

"Don't be ridiculous. We're happier than we have been in a while now that you're with us, sunshine." He replied honestly, hugging you into his side.

"I know. I'm happy too, but I do want a job. What job, I'm not sure yet, but I'm going to start looking."

"You don't have to pressure yourself though, okay? If you change your mind at any point, that's perfectly fine. Just do it at your own pace. If you would like, you could print off your CV for me and Granny to hand in to places."

"That's fine, Grandad, you don't have to." You laughed lightly at his suggestion, bringing your hand up to cover his that rested on your shoulder. "Everything is online nowadays."

"Of course. That rules me and Gran out the question then, in terms of advice." He grumbled jokingly, though his classic, cheeky smile rests on his face. "Absolutely no help for you there, sweetheart."

"I didn't think there would be any anyway. I've seen Grandma use the microwave." The pair of you laugh at that, before it falls silent as you walk along the cliff-top coastline. The tone of the conversation shifts a bit when you speak again. "I think I'm also going to start seeing a therapist. You know, for everything that's happened."

"Okay, love. Whatever is best for you." And that's all the reassurance you needed.

The job hunt would forever be an aspect of life you despised. But, two months later, you had secured a job within the local area that you chose to walk to most days, a piece of advice from your new therapist that at first you hated but soon it was your favourite part of your daily routine. Apart from when it rained, obviously.

Things were going well though, surprisingly well, and it set in one evening as you sat in the back garden, watching your grandparents gardening, that the choice you made a few months prior was the right one.

You had managed to keep a certain Spaniard out of your mind for most of the time after that first month of being away from her, until one night you got a notification on your phone.

Spain win the FIFA World Cup after a 1-0 victory against England!

What was the right move now? Text her to congratulate her? Or is no contact best for the time being? Would texting her give her false hope? This was arguably the biggest achievement of her career, her whole life, but as a figure of the past, was it right to dredge everything back up again at such a joyful time?

Your hands faltered over your still cracked phone screen, unsure what to do in such an unusual situation. There was no handbook on what to do if your ex-girlfriend, who you're still in love with and who (hopefully) still loves you too, wins the biggest trophy of her career, nor could a google search be any assistance. And unfortunately, as perfect as they are, your grandparents that had been married for over fifty years now may not be any help either.

So, the only decision you could land on, no matter how much you didn't like it, was to leave it.

Until your finger slipped and liked her celebratory Instagram post later that night. You still followed each other on social media, too reluctant to get rid of that remaining bridge, but your Instagram had lain dormant ever since you had left. That meant you had some insight into Alexia's life post-breakup, guiltily indulging in a late night scroll every now and then which you found yourself in now, whilst she had no idea what you were up to or even if you were alive.

Well, at least she knew you were still here and you still cared for her. Could that be shown in one single social media interaction? You hoped so. Maybe that was a tad bit dramatic though. What else were you supposed to do?

You had the same reaction a year later as you watched Alexia captain her team to an unfortunate loss in the Olympics final. However, it was still a silver Olympic medal, and not many athletes could say they have one of those. A congratulatory text from you may have seemed like the start of a pity party though, so once again you opted out of it. Time and place and all that.

A year on and you were in a much better place, there were no two ways about it. Therapy was difficult, of course it was, but people were right when they say it's one of the best things to do for yourself. You don't think you'd ever been better. Subsequently, that led to an inevitable topic to come into discussion during one session.

"What do you think the... repercussions would be if I... went back to Barcelona?" You asked nervously, looking down at your hands as they fidgeted in your lap.

"It depends what you went to get out of it. Would you go for the city itself? Or for her?"

For some reason, in your sessions, your therapist hardly ever named Alexia. It was always 'her' or 'she', never her name. You figured it was so that you never shied away from the subject which was probably close to being the hardest to talk about, but you were too afraid to ask.

"Both." You answered initially. Your therapist stayed quiet of course, waiting for you to answer truthfully, something she again always did. "Her. Mostly."

"Do you think you're in the headspace for it? You've made so much progress since we first started, so you need to think if it'll aid the healing process or cause a regression."

"Well, she wasn't the problem in the first place. Everything she did for me was perfect, it was the relationship as a whole rather than her specifically. She was... she was perfect." You smiled sadly as you reminisced on your time with her. She really was perfect. "But I was the problem, I think. I was the one suppressing so much stuff and... when I was on my own compared to when I was with her, I was two completely different people. It was like light and day. She had a great effect on me, but I guess it's just figuring out if that was healthy or not. That difference in characters, in mindset."

"See? You've learnt so much from this already. Maybe you should just sit in front of a mirror and talk to yourself, you'd save a lot of money." Your therapist jokes, the pair of you laughing lightly. "So, let's get talking then. Let's figure this out."

And you did. You spent the rest of the session discussing whether it would be suitable for you to go back to Barcelona. The conclusion you came to was a very favourable one, one that made you nervously excited. But what would Alexia be like? Had she moved on? Would she still value you the same? Or would you be old news now? Only time could tell.

The only thing you knew was that it is so much darker after a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone, and that was the case with Alexia. Perhaps your life wouldn't have been so flipped upside down if you hadn't had met her; such a sweet and loving soul, the purest and brighest light shining onto every dark crevice you'd ever hidden. You'd had a taste of her, and you'd be damned if you didn't at least try for her again. Alexia Putellas wasn't one to lose, and you'd been fortunate to have her in the first place. If it was a one time thing, maybe you'd have to come to terms with that being the case. But for now, getting to Barcelona was just the first step.

Your grandparents definitely approved of you going back, no matter how long for, whether it be one day or one month or perhaps forever. At some point in the past year you had opened up to them about Alexia and they were heartbroken for you. Of course they would be. Your hearts were one and the same. They were the biggest advocates in getting you to go back and see Alexia, and even if Alexia didn't want to see you, you were still going to go to Barcelona. You had friends there, you'd lived a whole life there for just over a year, you'd fallen in love with it before you'd even met Alexia, so regardless of her opinion (even if it did sting like hell) you're still going.

When you booked your flight there, with no return ticket just yet, your grandparents had cheered and dragged you up from the armchair to dance with them along to the music from their old radio. It was a core memory, absolutely, and you'd be lying if you said a part of you wasn't hoping to share this memory one day with Alexia.

However, the day came where you had to do the thing you'd been most afraid of. Contacting Alexia. It was an occasion that definitely called for an emergency video call with your therapist who was very pleased to meet your grandparents for the first time, albeit over Zoom, and the three of them offered any and all advice you'd take until you had carefully curated a text message to send to her.

You:

Hey Alexia, I hope you're doing well. Feel free to ignore this, but I'm coming back to Barcelona soon and I was wondering if you wanted to catch up? If you don't want to, I completely understand. It's been a while and we've both lived our lives without each other in it, so no pressure at all. Let me know if you're open to it. Take care x

Almost immediately, the message was read by her. And just as quickly, the typing icon came up. Safe to say, your grandparents were freaking out just as much as you were.

Alexia:

Wow, it is so good to hear from you. I'm doing well and I really hope things are much better for you. I've been dreaming of hearing from you since the moment you left. I absolutely want to see you again, I don't care how long it's been, so let me know when you're coming and I'll see you as soon as I can. Espero verte pronto, cuídate x

Any longer and your jaw would have been lodged into its place hanging wide open. She wanted to see you just as much as you wanted to see her. The feeling of relief that washed over you upon reading it was gone as quick as it arrived; instead, you were now filled with nerves. No, not nerves, butterflies.

And that's where you found yourself now, your taxi driver navigating the streets of Barcelona towards your hotel in mid-October. It was reaching the evening, so your plan was to start off the trip calmly with a walk around the city to re-familiarise yourself before sunset, then just order some room service for dinner. Simple, but the right way to start what would probably be a bit of a challenging trip mentally.

Despite the low-key nature of the day, you could hardly sleep later that night. There was only one reason, it was obvious. You and Alexia had plans to meet for lunch the next day after her training session. You can't recall an event in your life you had ever felt so excited for, you felt like a kid on Christmas Eve again. A few doubts trickled into your mind every now and then, but you'd grafted for too long now for petty worries to tear down the confidence you had built.

Of course you were eager to see the woman you loved again for the first time in eighteen months, but there was a bigger part of you that was desperate for her to see the progress you'd made. You were proud, and it had taken a lot to get to this point. You wanted to share your pride with her and show her the person you always knew you could be all along. All of your efforts, your hard-work, and your sacrifices had been worth it. You were right to feel proud. And after all, sacrifices were given that name for a reason.

When you did eventually fall asleep, it was with images of Alexia circling in your mind, hoping she still had a place in her heart for you and that she'd love you again for who you are now and not who you were.

Finally, finally, the time came to see Alexia again. You weren't really sure what to expect; it was a unique situation with exceptional circumstances, and you were trying desperately not to put too much pressure on the day. Yet, you were a despairingly hopeful person and the anticipation was almost overwhelming as you were getting ready.

Contact between you both had been little but often, topics never delving too deep which you were so glad about as you wanted to talk to her properly face to face. You had to, it's the least she deserved. Over text, anything could be easily misinterpreted and you weren't about to ruin your chance with words getting lost in translation. Phone calls and FaceTimes were out of the question too, and you were grateful that your individual desperation wasn't getting in the way of going about this the correctly. By no means were you a perfectionist, but there were some things in life that were far too important to be ruined by a lack of patience and all-consuming desire.

Once again, your new and probably your healthiest habit came into play as you decided to walk under the bright October weather to the place Alexia had chosen for the occasion. Neutral ground of course; meeting at her apartment or your hotel room wasn't appropriate... yet.

You arrived at the quaint, little restaurant first, a coincidence you were more thankful for than you'd admit, and you chose to seat yourself at a table off to the side. A bit of privacy from strangers could go a long way for a day like today, you figured. You didn't really want a bunch of strangers to witness the influx of emotions you'd no doubt go through when Alexia arrived.

Soon though, that became a case of if Alexia would arrive, because ten minutes passed since you had arrived practically on time and there was still no sign of the woman. And, rather naïvely, you hadn't planned for her to stand you up. You and your therapist had almost fully mentally prepared you for every other outcome except that one. She did have training beforehand, perhaps that had ran late. Still, your mind was slowly spiralling into overdrive with each second that passed.

Until she did arrive.

The bell over the door rang faintly through the room as it opened hastily, a frantic looking Alexia entering the restaurant. She was really here. Here, basically racing over to you whilst weaving through the tables and chairs and the light scattering of people. Here, still as breathtakingly beautiful as ever. Still Alexia.

She came to a stop in front of you, both of you stuck in a trance as if the world had stopped spinning solely for this moment right here. An anticipatory and contemplative silence settled as your eyes' tracked over every feature of the other, a refresh for the memory of the face you'd so dearly missed.

Alexia was the first to speak - a breathless whisper of your name as if she was in disbelief that you were right in front of her. It triggered something in you, because before you had even realised, you had jumped up from your chair and wrapped your arms tightly around her; a hug you had been dying for for longer than you'd admit. It took a few seconds for her to react but soon, Alexia enveloped you just as emphatically.

The embrace was paired with a few more whispered chants of your name from Alexia - in this moment, for her, it felt like the past months without you she had just been floating through her life, waking up everyday as if it were a chore more than anything. But now, in your arms, she felt alive again. The time without you had been worth it for this single moment here.

"Hey." You mumbled quietly into her neck, smiling uncontrollably when the taller woman squeezed you impossibly more in response.

"Hi." Her voice cracked ever so slightly as she spoke. "Hi."

"You already said that." You teased her lightly, meeting her gaze when she moved back to look at you properly. One of her hands came up to delicately cradle your cheek as if she was scared you would disintegrate at her touch. "Don't be so worried. I'm not going anywhere right now."

"You better not." Alexia murmured, her eyes boring down at you so deeply that it caused your breath to hitch in your throat. "I can't believe you're here."

You blushed at the intensity of her look, gesturing a hand down your body jokingly.

"Live in the flesh." You grinned cheekily, gasping slightly when she pulled you back into herself. "Ale."

"Say that again." She said so quietly you almost missed it.

"Alexia. Ale." You repeated, along with a light kiss to her cheek. She physically deflated in your arms, all the tension you didn't even realise was there dissipating immediately. You saying her name was like the last confirmation she needed that yes, you were actually here.

"I..." She started, leaning back and shaking her head whilst letting out a shaky breath. "I missed you. So much."

You smile and... almost instinctively lean in to kiss her - what were you doing?

"I missed you too." You replied, willing yourself to not ruin it, not now, not when you've made it so far. "I really did."

She returned a smile and reluctantly lets go of you in favour of finally taking a seat at the table. You sit across from her and realise that most of the tables were quite small and intimate, and if you had any remaining functional thought processes left that weren't all occupied by Alexia, you would have thought she'd chosen this restaurant for that specific feature. Your knees grazed against each other under the table and Alexia couldn't stop herself from travelling the small distance with her hands to grasp one of yours with both of hers.

"How are you?"

"Well, that's quite a question. Do you want the short answer or the long answer?" You answer humorously, Alexia shrugging.

"Whatever you want. Say it all or say nothing, I'm just glad to be in your company again." You can't help but swoon a little at her words. "But... I would really like it if you were honest with me. And open. Though I understand if not."

"I'm happy to tell you it all. You best have your listening ears on though." You say, delighted to hear her laugh.

"I do, I swear."

At that, you explain everything from start to finish. From the days you spent in bed, to the first therapy session you had, to the moment you opened up to your grandparents, all the way to the point where you made the decision to come back to Barcelona. The only slightly annoying and poorly timed interruption was from the waiter who asked for your orders, the pair of you quickly apologising and taking one glance at the menu before ordering the first thing that caught your eye.

She listened intently to every word you had to say, not afraid to ask a question every now and then whilst also respecting the privacy you still had every right to. Alexia didn't really feel like you absolutely owed her anything, she just wanted a little context to it all, a little closure and an update on your current state of mind. She just wanted you to be well, she just wanted you.

The whole time you spoke, she simply gazed at you with such a soft and earnest look in her eyes. With her presence that, despite all that time, still had the greatest effect on you paired with your newfound self, you were at peace here.

"You promise that you're better now?" She raises her hand up to you, waiting for you to link fingers with her to secure your truth. And this time, you weren't lying when you answered her.

"I'm so much better." You stated with a shy smile, and that statement felt like the final nail in the coffin to the whole journey you'd been on the past two years.

"You don't know how happy I am to hear that." Alexia revealed with a disbelieving shake of her head. You lift your shoulders in a dismissive shrug, glancing down at your joined hands in the centre of the table.

"Are you... are you angry at me?" You ask. You weren't perfect still, you still had doubts and insecurities.

"What would I be angry about?" Her nose scrunched up in genuine confusion.

"Any of it. All of it."

"Hey." She said, nudging your hand to try and gain your attention. You look up at her and blush a little. "Do I seem angry?" You ponder that for a moment, eyes searching her face, before shaking your head no. "Good, because I'm not. Not at all. What person would I be to react like that?"

"An asshole." You mumble, the pair of you breaking out into laughter after a second.

"I'm proud of you and happy for you. You..." Alexia sighs and pauses, wondering if it's the right time to say what she wanted to say. It's her turn to focus her attention on your hands as she mindlessly traced random shapes on the back of your hand with her finger. "This new version of you, I can see that you're less... weighed down by things. There is a different look in your eyes and though I can't quite describe it yet, I know it's a sign that you feel better and more at peace with yourself. That is all I could wish for, for the person I love."

Sorry, what was that?

"Uh, you sti- you still love me?" You stuttered. You just had to know.

"Yes. I do." Alexia confirms, a sheepish smile on her face. "I was being truthful before you left when I said that I'll always love you. Maybe I shouldn't have said this now. You don't have to love me still. I would... I would understand."

"No, Ale, what?" You shook your head at her and squeezed her hands tightly. "I love you. I'll always love you too. Why do you think I wouldn't love you?"

"Why would you think I wouldn't love you?" She hits back, resulting in you both laughing shyly. "It would have to be really crazy situations for me to not love you, chiqui."

"Was this not a crazy situation? Me dramatically fleeing the country out of nowhere?"

"No, and don't say it like that. You had every reason to leave, okay? I told you that when you left and I'll still tell you that now. I don't resent you for choosing yourself." Alexia argues firmly, bringing your hand up to her mouth so that she could kiss the back of it reassuringly. She halts for a moment, wondering if it's appropriate to do so, but judging by the redness of your cheeks she decides to go through with it. "I... just had a few doubts about this all, but now that you're here my mind has calmed down now."

"Are you okay?" You blurt out.

At the mention of herself, your concern immediately turned to Alexia and how she coped through all this. If you knew her as well as you thought you did, you had a feeling you knew what her immediate reaction would be.

"What do you mean?"

Exactly what you guessed.

"I haven't checked up on you yet. I want to know how you've been doing." You answer, shifting forward slightly so that you were closer to her.

"Why check up on me?" Alexia chuckles nervously.

"Because your girlfriend walked out on you and went off the grid for a year and a half. Forget about me right now, Ale, I want to know how you are."

She pauses looking at you, an internal battle going on behind her eyes that you're all too familiar with, until she sighs once more and her demeanour drops.

"Well, I was worried about you, firstly. Everyday I woke up you were the first thing I thought about and the last thing in my mind before I slept. I don't think you ever left my mind, not for long anyway. I wanted the best for you. And then I guess... I had a few selfish thoughts too. But as I said, you're here, and I don't need to think about them anymore." Alexia told you, a tight-lipped smile on her face. "I don't want to say them now, today is about you."

"No, Alexia, it's not. It's a day for both of us." You urge her to understand that it's okay for her to open up, that it's been a hard time for her too, but part of you knows you most likely won't get that out of her today.

"Amor, please. Let's do this another time, for now just focus on the positive. We can talk about me any other time, just not now, please." She begs with a pleading look in her eyes. "I am okay, I swear. You being here has solved everything, it's the truth."

"Promise you'll open up at some point soon?" It's your turn to hold your hand up for her to make a promise.

"As long as you stay long enough." She jokes, but it's clear to see there is some fear and insecurity there. She does link her finger with yours though, a sentiment that's never lost on you. "How long are you staying for?"

"That's the thing. I don't really have a return date yet." You admit, and the flash of hope in Alexia's eyes ignites a feeling of longing inside of you.

Forget timings and socially standardised timelines of falling in love or healing or whatever it was you were doing, you didn't care anymore. Why delay the inevitable process? You were in love with her and she was in love with you. Taking it slow was overrated anyway.

"What does that mean?" Alexia asks, her heart palpitating at the prospect of your answer.

"It means... anything, Ale. What do you want it to mean?"

Perhaps answering questions with another question wasn't the best habit you'd picked up from your therapist.

"You want the truth?" You nod instantly, your emotions already bubbling and she hasn't even said anything yet. "As long as you are ready for it, and you must swear to me that you are because I don't want to h-"

"Oh my god, just say it, please." You beg, eyes wide in hopeful anticipation, waiting for her to admit the thing you had yearned for all these months.

"I want you back in my life, permanently. I want to be your girlfriend again. No matter how long it takes, no matter how slow you decide to take things, the thing I've wished for all this time is to just be yours again, to have you as mine. I'll do anything to make that happen, I swear by it. You want me to throw stones at your hotel window? I'll do it. You want me to sneak onto your balcony in the middle of the night? I'll do that. You want me to stand outside your door with a loudspeaker and signs? I already have the speaker and words prepared. I'll even stand in the centre of Montjuïc at the next game and sing for you if you really want."

You laugh at every ridiculous idea of devotion that comes out of her mouth, eyes glossy with unshed tears. Except, this time, the tears aren't ones of sorrow or longing, they're tears of exultation and relief. Alexia had waited for you, all this time. There had been no one else for her and no matter how selfish it was, it's the best revelation you've ever had.

"I don't think the culers would be too happy about you singing." You teased, rolling your eyes at the smug and nonchalant shrug she gave.

"I don't care, because it wouldn't be for them, it would be for you." She smirks, leaning in closer. Your foreheads were mere inches about now, a fact neither of you could ignore.

"You sure you want me back?" You mumbled shyly. It was Alexia's turn to roll her eyes now as she fought back the temptation to kiss the doubt off of your lips.

"I want nothing more than I want you." She responded, sounding so sure of herself that it was intoxicatingly enticing.

"Even if it's long distance for a little while?"

"Even then." Alexia smiles, resting her arms on her elbows as she brought your joined hands up together to rest in between you both. She pressed her lips to your hands once more, eyes closed as she does so, before looking back into your eyes. "We will figure out the logistics another time. For now, all I know is that I have the love of my life back and I want to spend every second I can with her before she leaves."

"Love of your life, hm?" You whisper with a shy grin, Alexia grunting at how you teased her for her softness. It was something you'd always done, and she was grateful that that part of you hadn't changed. "Well, what do we do now?"

"I'm hoping that you will let me kiss you, finally."

"In here? With all these people?" There really weren't that many people in there, and the few that were wouldn't even take notice of the sickeningly sweet moment occuring.

"Sí. Déjame besarte, por favor." The sound of Alexia speaking Spanish was something you could never get over, it did things to you everytime. How could you deny her when she spoke like she did?

"I guess." You rolled your eyes and sighed dramatically as if it was such an inconvenience.

Alexia simply grinned and planted both her hands on your cheeks before surging forward to kiss you. However, she pauses for a moment, just taking in your appearance and letting out a huff of disbelieved laughter, then she finally presses her lips against yours. A quiet, muffled moan leaves your throat before you can stop it, and the sound of it causes Alexia to smirk smugly. Frustratingly, the stupid but irresistible thing made it aggravatingly difficult to kiss the life out of her like you so wanted to. The smirk was wiped off of Alexia's face the second you broke the kiss much sooner than she wanted to.

"What's wro-"

"I can't kiss you how I want to when you're grinning like a maniac, pendeja!" You groan, butting your forehead against hers to further emphasise your annoyance.

"Pobrecita bebé." Alexia pouts sarcastically at you whilst gently grasping your chin with her thumb and forefinger. That idiotic, childish grin soon forced its way back where it belongs, and you can't help but smile at the sight of it. "I can't help it, amor! What do you want me to do?"

"Be normal and not do that stupid smirk!"

"Oh, perdónarme, I'm sorry I'm so happy that I have you back!" Alexia exclaims, arguing solely to rile you up. What people didn't know about this layered Catalan is that she loved bickering with you or just annoying you in general. You didn't realise quite how much you missed it until this moment now.

"I swear to god, stop being so infuriating and just get o-"

And get on with it she did. You couldn't even finish your sentence before she silenced you in one of the best ways you could think of. And god bless the poor waiter who just wanted to do his job, because when he came to give you your meals, the sight he walked up to was somewhat less than PG. The young guy, who honestly looked no older than 18, cleared his throat louder than normal and the pair of you jumped a mile apart at the unexpected presence. Alexia had to grip the edge of the table to prevent her chair from tipping back, trying desperately to disguise her embarrassment with a tight-lipped smile and rambled thanks to the boy, all the whilst you had to stifle what would be a very loud belly laugh.

"Calláte, that was your fault." Alexia hushed out, her eyes scanning the room to figure out if anyone else had just witnessed that monstrosity. Meanwhile, your face was now bright red due to the laughter threatening to escape out from behind your palm that covered your mouth. It was Alexia's fault really, the shot burst of laughter that barrelled out of you, because she kicked you in the shin as she sipped from the water that had been dropped off at some point during the afternoon. "Dios mío, what is wrong with you!?"

"Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry." You choked out. You took a page from Alexia's book and drank some of your water. As you did, you noticed that Alexia's face wasn't contorted to one of irritation, it was the face she did when she was trying to suppress the overwhelming amount of joy she felt. As someone who was so keen to convey a certain persona, it was one you'd seen a few times since you'd known her, and this was perhaps your favourite look of hers. "I think you'll find it was your awkwardness that was at fault, Ale."

"Yeah, yeah. Eat your food, idiota."

There were periods of peaceful silence as you ate, some conversation here and there, but despite all that has and hasn't been said so far, it felt like there wasn't anything that needed to be uttered. You were both content to enjoy each other's presence again, your eyes meeting every other moment as you ate which resulted in you both blushing and laughing like lovesick teenagers.

It really was tooth-rottingly sweet, and though the dynamic wasn't all too different than it was before, there was solace found in the knowledge that a lot of things had been changed for the better. The prospect of it all was exhilarating, a new path for you both to walk together, and for you there were no longer question marks looming over every part of your life.

The main thing that hadn't changed too much for you, a thing you were relieved about, was the way Alexia made you feel. It was the same as it used to be, except about a million times better. There wasn't so much guilt or gloom that was masked by Alexia, it was all genuine and you already knew that feeling would bleed into your everyday life with her around.

"You said you told your grandparents about me?" Alexia wondered, sitting back in her chair with her hands linked over her stomach.

"I did. They said if this goes well, I have to bring back Barça shirts for them." You revealed with a smile, Alexia chuckling.

"I can organise that for them. As well as tickets to a game if they'd like."

"Alright, Miss Marketing." You roll your eyes at her offer, pausing to take a sip from your half-full glass. "We get it, you love your club. You don't have to spread the message like a missionary."

"I have to win them over some way." Alexia laughs, before her face turns a little more serious and you have a feeling you know what she's about to bring up. "What about your... Dad?"

"Haven't spoken to him since the day I left." You answer, eyes focused on the tracks your finger left behind on the condensation of the glass as it ran around the curve of it. "No idea what he's doing or where he is. Just know that he's alive and that's all I have the energy to care about."

"That's good for you, amor. He doesn't deserve you."

"I know that." You smile genuinely at her, and that's another one of her worries she had for you erased. "I think, out of anyone, my therapist is the one you must give tickets to."

"Mm, yes. I must meet this magical woman one day, I owe my life to her." That charming smirk is back on her face, and you blush at that as well as the sentiment she holds in her words.

"I don't want this meal to end." You mumble in a disheartened voice, reaching your hand across the small gap between you both to grasp one of the hands on her stomach.

"It... it doesn't have to, amor." Alexia starts, catching your attention as you look up to meet her eyes. "You could come over to my apartment. It's been a while since you've been there. The indentation on my balcony chair has left, I think you need to reinstate it."

You roll your eyes at her humour, a soft smile on your face at the laugh she gives at her own jokes. You do think the offer over though - is it too soon? Maybe, but if this counted as a first date, milestones were out the window considering you'd already confessed your love for each other. Did time and patience count when it came to re-conciliating a relationship? Screw it, who cares.

"I'd be happy to come over, Ale. If you want that."

"Are you sure? Because I would love that, except I don't want to rush you or ruin anything if we move too fast."

"Fuck that. I know what I want now and that's you. Who cares what is too fast. I've delayed our relationship once already, I'm not doing that again."

She stares at you from across the table and if it was possible, you'd say her pupils were the shape of a heart with the look she fixed you with. Then she was standing out of nowhere, shrugging her jacket back on whilst you watched her, completely confused, until she held her hand out for you.

"Let's go, ay?" She hums, wiggling her fingers to urge you to move. "No wasting time, you said."

You jut your tongue into your cheek, heart fluttering at her forwardness, and gather your own coat before taking her hand. She presses a soft kiss to your cheek before guiding you towards the exit with a hand on your lower back, a notion she's always done and one you'll always adore.

Silently, she leads you to her car that's parked around the corner and watches with a shy but proud smile as you climb into the passenger side of the car. With every little thing you did, whether that was humming contently as you ate your food or smiling at her absentmindedly every time she spoke, or even just blinking and breathing, she realised she could never verbalise the love she held for you because she'd never experienced it before in her life, ever. Not with pets, not with friends, not with her family. It was otherworldly, unexplainable, and though she wasn't religious, her devotion to you was just as close to that.

Again, there is just light, scattered chatter as she drives you back to one of your favourite places in the world, and once more she guides you to the elevator with her palm pressed to your back. As you stand in the lift, shoulder to shoulder, there are modestly triumphant smiles on your faces, a wordless shared notion sitting between you that everything was worth it in the end. Even if it took a journey and a half to get there, the climb was always worth it for the view at the top.

"What would you like to do now?" Alexia asks as she unlocks her door and allows you to step in before her.

"Uh, can we chill on the balcony? You know it's my favourite spot." You reply with a grin, and Alexia somehow knew you were going to say that, almost as if she's heard those words leave your mouth maybe a few hundred times in the past.

"Of course. You go ahead, I'll get us some drinks."

You nod and walk through to her bedroom, one thing standing out to you; everything is exactly the same as it was before. That comforts you impossibly more than you yourself could ever understand. Future therapy topic?

However, there is one thing that jumps out at you. You walk over to where it stands on Alexia's dresser and pick it up, holding the object in your hand with a smile on your face.

"Ale, why do you have my favourite perfume here? I never once brought it to your apartment." You shout to where she was in the kitchen, no doubt her cheeks a bright pink colour at the fact she'd been caught out.

"Because I bought some, after you left." She replied, and you giggle to yourself at the ever so slightly embarrassed tone that creeps through.

"Liked the smell, did you?"

"Mm. Something like that." She grumbled.

You grin and place it down, heading over to the sliding door adjacent to her bed and opening it. The air that hits you and the sight that greets you causes a wave of familiarity to wash over you, one that you welcome straight away. You take a deep breath and bask in the feeling, leaning on the railing as your eyes raked over the view you adored.

A few minutes later and you hear Alexia walking out behind you, first placing the drinks on the small side table before joining you at the edge. She wraps an arm loosely around your waist and rests her chin on your shoulder, admiring the view of the city that was literally right on her doorstep.

"I missed this view." You break the silence first, voicing what Alexia already knew.

"I missed you." She murmurs, turning to press a kiss to your shoulder when she notices something. "Ah, I knew you never gave that back."

Delicately, she runs her index finger along the necklace that sat around your neck which she had gifted you way back when, quietly delighted to see you still wearing it. And it also aided her in not feeling so embarrassed about the earlier incident where you had found the perfume she bought in memory of you.

"Yeah, sorry about that." You mumble sheepishly, shivering when Alexia chuckles into your neck where her lips soon leave a kiss.

"No, I like that you still have it."

You hum in acknowledgement, content to stay here in the arms of your girlfriend as the locals carried on with the hustle and bustle of city life below you.

"This was my favourite thing about your apartment." You state a little while later, leaning your head against Alexia's.

"I remember." You feel her say it more than you hear it, before a thought clearly captures her attention as she stands up fully, still with her arm around you. "You could come here, uh... full time, you know?"

"You mean move in with you?" It's not the most surprising thing you'd heard from her in all honesty, but it was still a bit of a shock to the system.

"If you'd like. I know I would be happy with that."

"I would too, but... I think that maybe does cross the line of 'too soon' though." You reply with an apologetic smile, but Alexia understands instantly, of course she does.

"That's okay." She comments, one more kiss to your shoulder. "Do you think you'll ever come back to live here again? Barcelona, I mean."

With this city before you, this woman holding you and loving you so gently, and the sea and the sky merging into one in the far distance, you think that maybe life can be simple after all. That starts and ends with Alexia.

"I think it's only a matter of time."

#alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas one shot #alexia putellas imagine #woso

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crystallilytarot · 3 months

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(sorry for the lighting, it's getting dark here)

A little reading for people who are single since birth. Choose a butterfly

Pile 1 - purple butterfly

(I know it looks pink, but it's light purple actually, just saying this because maybe purple is a significant color for you)

If you are trying to manifest someone, praying or anything, don't give up, it's working! Have confidense. Don't give up on hope, you will find love, don't worry. But also, I know it's a little confusing, but try not to be too obsessed about it. I feel there will be a big change in your life, I don't think it's bad, just something big. And you will be too busy to think about love, but suddenly there will be your person. I almost wrote soulmate, they can be your soulmate too. It's definitely a fated connection. It can happen relatively fast, the energie is pretty fast. You can meet online. Or in a trip, they are traveling to where you live or you travel to their city. It can be a long distance relationship for a while at first. They seems like a fun person, probably an extrovert, optimistic. A youthful person, even if they are older than you. Sexual chemistry is very good here. It can be that you will study or work somewhere else and you will meet them there. I feel you won't be sure if they are good for you at first, because their personality. But it's not like they can't be serious too, so they aren't just a fun loving person. You can overcome anything together, they are the kind of person who will support you in hard times too.

Pile 2 - orange butterfly

Feels like love at first sight. Or should I say lust at first sight? I feel they are like want you right there, when they meet them. You are like two magnets to each other. It can be a little overwhelming though. They will be your type physically. They are very charming, confident, they will sweep you off your feet. They are probably a foreigner or have foreign parents /roots. I feel you two need to focus to know each other too. Because the physical attraction here is so strong. At one point there can be separation too, or a misunderstanding, I see a little conflict here. But I think it's actually good for you to take some time seperately, because it felt like it was too much for you two, you suddenly went from single to fully in love and it was overwhelming. You can meet when traveling. Or it can be after some hard time in your life, or that specific day will be a hard one, but you will be tired, but they will still find you very attractive. It's either raining or snowing that day.

Pile 3 - black and red butterfly

Oh definitely soulmates. I think they are older than you, mature, a little conservative maybe or just traditional. Very loyal, a hard worker. Their love language can be gift giving, they like to take care of their loved ones. Maybe they find it a little harder to tell you how they feel, but they will show you with actions. Very protective over you. You two probably get married too. You can meet in a church too. Or in a grocery store, somewhere you can buy something. I heard book store or a library too. For some of you, family or friends will introduce you two. I feel like you need to be patient, they are coming, don't worry, but it's need a little more time. I think they like to take their time anyway, not a reckless person, likes to think about their decisions. If you have any physical or mental problem, they will be very understanding and you will get better. If you need medical help, please go to a professional doctor, but I'm just trying to say that they will bring positive change in your life, you will be more balanced with them. I feel for some of you, you will move in together fast, so you can leave that bad environment.

#free tarot #pick a card #tarot #pick a pile

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microclown · 9 months

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Crowley and Aziraphale's communication in the final 15 is bad, but going back through the season I've realized it's even more prevalent than I thought…

not all of these miscommunications are a problem, but they barely have one interaction that doesn't include some form of lack of communication, so I thought it was worth highlighting the pattern

List under the cut, analysis at the end

Aziraphale doesn't tell Crowley about the naked man, Nina does

Aziraphale doesn't tell him it's Gabriel, he tell him it's Jim, Crowley sees it's Gabriel

"I feel like your exactly and my exactly are different exactlys" (aka miscommunication- assuming they're on the same page when they're not)

Cowley doesn't tell Aziraphale the stakes, that he could be erased from the book of life for helping Gabriel

The Apology dance is literally dancing around the issue. He doesn't want to apologize because he doesn't believe he is in the wrong, but they never talk through it, they just move forward

"Ah, we're going to the pub!" As they're walking in the door. so Aziraphale didn't tell him where they were going, he just lead him there??

Aziraphale and Crowley don't agree on how to get Nina and Maggie together, but they go ahead and execute their own plans without discussing it further. Crowley does ask "I'm lost, am I doing a rainstorm?" but Aziraphale has already moved on and doesn't answer him. He's already decided the ball is the better option, but he doesn't communicate that. Later, Crowley tries to tell Aziraphale about his plan with the rainstorm, but Aziraphale ignores him. "You don't want to hear about my plan?" Then when Crowley tells him the rainstorm plan was a bust, Aziraphale has no idea what he's talking about.

After telling Crowley about the Clue, Aziraphle doesn't let them discuss it at all. He literally cuts Crowley off from asking any questions about it "no! not another word."

When Aziraphale asks to take the Bentley, he doesn't really ask, he's telling Crowley he's going to take it. Crowley says no indirectly "You can't drive my Bentley." Aziraphale explains that he can drive because he has a license. So Crowley says "No" plainly. Aziraphale ignores him. Crowley says "No" again, louder, clearer, slaps Aziraphale's hand away, but Aziraphale still ignores him.

When Aziraphale tells Crowley what he learned about Gabriel in Edinburgh, they never discuss it fully because Crowley cuts him off to execute his rainstorm that they've also never fully discussed.

Neither Aziraphale or Crowley tell the other that Shax confronted them. More importantly, Aziraphale doesn't tell Crowley that Shax tricked him into revealing that Gabriel is in the bookshop.

Aziraphale is very coy with Crowley while planning the ball "wait and see!" He never actually tells Crowley his plan.

When Aziraphale suggests "just talking" to Gabriel, he looks pleased when Crowley says "Actually, I will." He doesn't seems to read Crowley's tone. Crowley then proceeded to yell at Gabriel and tells him to jump out a window. Probably not what Aziraphale had in mind.

Of course, the whole scene in the ball. Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale about the demons straight away, he leads with a seemingly less urgent "somethings wrong". Aziraphale is barely listening anyway. He's too in his own world, too caught up in psyching himself up to ask Crowley to dance.

After the demons storm the ball, Aziraphale tells Crowley he's got a suggestion, but Crowley cuts him off "I've got it."

Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale what he learned in Heaven. He doesn't tell him about Armageddon part 2, or that Gabriel was fired for not wanting to go ahead with it. He doesn't even tell him this during their big fight at the end, when you would think it would be a convincing point towards Aziraphel staying.

Neil has revealed that Crowley never told Aziraphale that he was living in his car

And then their final argument is laden with miscommunication, (people have gone into great depths analyzing this already, but I’ll just sum it up so it’s included) - Aziraphale assumes Crowley would want to be an angel again, but they’ve clearly never discussed this. Crowley assumes Aziraphale is on the same page with why heaven is so bad, but they’ve clearly not fully discussed this either. Crowley can barely look at Aziraphale when he’s confessing. He can’t get out the word “partner.” He can’t finish his sentence “I would like to spend…” Then there’s “nothing lasts forever” which Crowley interprets entirely differently from Aziraphale’s intention. “I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you” “I understand, and I think I understand a whole lot better than you.” And then, when Crowley has given up on trying to communicate verbally, he kisses Aziraphale as a last “Hail Mary” to get him to understand. But of course he doesn’t. That’s not communication.

So.

If you’re still with me, what’s the point of laying all this out? Well, a couple of things. I’ll try to organize my thoughts coherently.

Crowley and Aziraphale’s communication is beyond a simple fix

It is so much worse than I originally thought. What they need is couples therapy. They both need to become aware of the broken way they relate to each other, and they need to do a lot of work on listening to each other, giving each other space to talk, and being honest with what they know and how they are feeling. We needed someone to call them out, make them aware of this, but Nina and Maggie TRIED this season, and it was not enough. Unfortunately, I’m fairly confident season 3 will not just be six hour long couples therapy sessions. I’m not sure how much room for working on communication skills there will be at all. Neil has described season three as big, loud, and action packed. I have no idea how this issue will be resolved in that context.

Something horrible I realized when making this list. Crowley’s relationship with Aziraphale is beginning to mirror his toxic relationship with heaven. Aziraphale develops a plan- taking care of Gabriel, investigating the clue, organizing the ball. He wants things to go just the way he has in mind. He does not let Crowley say no. He does not let Crowley ask questions!!! And now Aziraphale is running heaven? What makes us think he would treat Crowley any differently in a real position of power? It would have been so. bad. if Crowley accepted Aziraphale’s offer. Yes, Aziraphale and Crowley are on the same page on preserving the world and humanity, and yes they love each other and want to be with each other, but when it comes to what to do about it, they don’t see eye to eye. And neither of them know how to properly collaborate or communicate.

Finally, why do Aziraphale and Crowleyhide things from one another? Simply, they don’t really trust each other. I mean they do, sort of, but not entirely. They have a deeper trust. They trust that the other cares about them, and won't harm them intentionally, but they have so many deep rooted issues with trust from their past with heaven and hell that it overflows into their relationship. People have said Crowley keeps information from Aziraphale to protect him, but that also comes from a place of mistrust. He doesn’t trust Aziraphale to protect himself. He doesn’t trust him to do what he would do with that information. Similarly, Aziraphale doesn’t trust Crowley to let him do things his way. They don’t know how to collaborate! Not really. It's something they want, but were never taught. Collaboration was never encouraged in Heaven or hell.

#not sure I believe in the final point anymore #I think their motivation for lying can be summed up to Crowley is being protective and Aziraphale is in denial #reposting because I needed to make some edits #this is mostly to organize my thougts #I might make some separate posts later #good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale x crowley #crowley #aziraphale #crowley x arizaphale #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 #go 2 #gos2 #neil gaiman #good omens analysis #good omens meta

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greenxgloss · 1 month

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Friends For Now? (Charlie Walker)

NSFW

summary: you and charlie have been friends for some time and he would help you do your homework sometimes, this time he caught you at the perfect time, struggling to finish your psych homework that happened to be about his favorite movies. while he was helping you he went in for a kiss and you allowed it to escalate.

warnings: unprotected sex, implications of stalking, mentions of female masturbation, fem!reader, use of Y/N, soft!dom!charlie, p in v, fingering, implied overstimulation

It's Tuesday night and your assignment is due tomorrow but you just can't get yourself to sit and focus on the Stab movies for this psych homework. "Watch Stab 2 and write a summary of the movie and a synopsis of the killers." you read aloud, hoping that it would help your answer click in your head. you scoffed and shoved your books over. for some reason you just couldn't focus on the movies and even after trying to cheat online you got nothing.

You heard a tap on the window and it was Charlie your best friend. "hey! need help?" he asked, opening the window. you quickly stood up and put on a shirt before he got in. "relax dude nothing I haven't seen before." he said, taking a deep breath as he gathered himself at the window. you giggled and sat back on your bed. "here just copy mine and change the wording around. the usual." he said throwing his notebook in front of you and zipping his bag back up. "thanks. I've been stumped for days." you told him as he joined you on the bed. "why didn't you just call me?" he asked. "ahh I don't know I just wanted to do this on my own. i always ask you for help." you told him as you copied down the answers. "no shame in asking for help." he said sheepishly, almost blushing.

sometimes you'd wonder if he'd ever watched you from your window. you knew that would be a crazy thing to accuse your friend of and also illegal but you didn't mind the idea. charlie is awfully pretty. he has big blue eyes but they weren't piercing, they were soft and laid gently on you every time. even before you both became friends and he would peer at you from across classrooms you didn't feel uncomfortable, you felt... admired, like he was watching in adoration. of course, it felt lustful but it also felt wholesome and full of love. still, you never pursued him that way. you felt as though you didn't have room for that kind of commitment in your life. you wanted to get your shit together first, to get the grades, the job and the money. then and only then would you have time to give someone your undivided. anyway you didn't mind his pretty eyes on you at night with your hand slipped under your lace, watching from the window as you pirspired and whined quietly to keep anyone in the house from hearing.

charlie snapped you out of it. "y/n?"

"uh.. i don't know it would just be nice to get it for myself." you told him as you continued writing. "I appreciate it don't get me wrong but its not like you're gonna be able to help with tests and exams." you giggled. he smiled. "no I know I just, want you to know Im here you know? you can always call." he said, moving over to sit next to you and shove your shoulder. you nodded and let the comfortable silent engulf you and you looked at each other in the same admiration you felt when you'd spot him watching you in class.

he looked down at his hand and back up at you as he slowly put it on your thigh waiting for your approval at which point you lightly put your hand on his and inched it up to your heat. "charlie." you started, "do you ever watch me from the window?" you asked him as your face heated up and you let him press his fingers to your clothed clit. he let out an exhale. "mhm." letting his eyebrows furrow as he thought about all the times he wanted to crawl through the window into your bed and make you cum and scream his name. "you watch me touch myself?" you whispered, a quiet whine following as he pressed firmly. "you knew I was. don't pretend you don't know I watched you arch and say my name and beg for me." he said, finally getting on top of you and kissing your neck. you'd been kissed but you'd never been touched this way and it made you ache for him. you had to bite your lip a little harder while his hands roamed you freely you felt your body cling to his. "fuck charlie." you moaned. "just like that." he smirked, grinding his hips between yours, feeling the tent pitch in his own jeans.

he inched your shorts off. "you're so beautiful baby." he said, scanning you over then kissing you, placing his hands on your tits and lightly groping you causing you to moan into his mouth. "you gotta stay quiet if you wanna keep going." he pulled away and whispered, keeping eye contact as he slipped in two fingers causing your mouth to gape. "you're so good to me charlie fuck it feels so good." you continued to whine and melt into his gentle touch. "yeah? tell me how good it feels baby." he hummed watching you squirm and buck your hips at his fingers, desperately wanting him to reach deeper. "I need you so bad. I want you to fuck me." you told him and felt him curl his fingers up making you grip his arms and moan into his mouth. you wanted to touch him so you reached for his jeans and he let you unbutton them. his cock popped out hitting him on the stomach and you quietly gasped. "holy shit Charlie it's so big." you watched the length just keep going. you took his shirt off as he pulled his fingers out of your throbbing cunt causing you to gasp softly.

you sat back and watched him. you deeply thought he was beautiful. "you're so sexy charlie." you told him as you reached out and caressed his chest then pushed him down and got on top of him. you tossed your shirt off as you straddled him. "speak for yourself." he dragged his hands from your waist to your ass as you adjusted yourself and slowly slipped his length into your tight wet pussy, one hand on his chest and the other wrapped around his cock. "oh fuck fuck fuck" you moaned and you began bouncing but of course, charlie couldn't hold his patience and began rocking his hips up into you both of you now quietly whimpering and whining in sync.

the room was sweaty and the light was dim as your moans filled the walls along with the sound of your skin smacking each others. the sound only made you more and more wet. soon you felt your core untangle and you slowly reached your climax. "fuck I'm cumming I'm cumming." you almost yelled and he quickly covered your mouth as his thrusts became sloppy. charlie fell apart at the same pace as you did, both of you finishing in sync. a rare occurrence for him who has had sex before.

you fought to catch your breath as you fell beside him, your shoulders touching. "that was..." Charlie trailed out. "my first time." you interrupted causing him to jump up. "YOUR FIRST TIME?" he whisper yelled, looking right into your eyes with pure lust. you could swear his pupils were hearts. "yeah? isn't it obvious?" you said, furrowing your eyebrows. "absolutely. I've never finished at the same time as the other person.. that might have been the best sex I've ever had.." he said, laying back down and holding you to his chest. you giggled quietly as you snuggled into him. "I mean not that I have anyone to compare it to other than my own hands but you did amazing." you whispered as you turned over to let him spoon you. "oh no we aren't done." he said, whipping up and throwing your legs apart, startling you.

needless to say, the two of you went on and on for hours and you had no complaints when you were falling asleep in psych class next to him while he laughed at you.

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tiedyeflannels · 5 months

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Dating Rumors

Jeon Jungkook x reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Genre: Angst, Hurt/ No Comfort

Dating Rumors: pt.2

Main Masterlist

A/N: Hello there! Thanks for stopping by! I'm not the best at writing angst even though I absolutely love reading it, but I thought I would give it a try when my brain came up with this idea. Also, I'm not sure if I should write a part 2 for this... Anyways, I hope you enjoy it!

KNOCK! KNOCK!

Wha-

I slowly opened one eye when I heard the sound of knocking. Peeking over to the clock on my nightstand to know what time it was, I read…

2:15 am.

I sighed, closing my eyes to go back to sleep when another round of knocks came, this time a bit louder. I sat up this time, looking for my glasses, and putting them on once I found them.

Still feeling groggy, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, tossed the blanket to the side and got up from my warm bed to see what the commotion was. As I was making my way through my apartment yet another round of knocks came again, but this time they were non-stop.

Who the hell would be knocking at my door at 2 in the morning?

I grumbled as I looked through the peephole in the door to see that it was none other than Jeon Jungkook. I sighed as the frantic knocking persisted, but finally opened the door only to reveal a disheveled Jungkook.

“Kook, what are you doing here? It’s two in the morning,” I asked, still rubbing my eyes.

His eyes looked desperate for some reason and it’s most likely the reason that he’s standing in my doorway this early in the morning.

“Would you mind if I came in,” he asked.

Now I’m starting to worry about him because of the way he’s acting.

“Ye-yeah, of course!” I ushered him inside and looked out of the apartment in case someone was following him.

Luckily, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, sans for the stray cat that always sleeps on the balcony railing.

I finally closed the door and turned back to him.

“Are you okay? What happened,” I asked while I followed him to the kitchen.

He ran his hands through his hair and looked at me with a worried, almost scared expression.

“They’re not true. None of them are true, Y/n.”

“Kook, what are you talking about? What isn’t true,” I asked, confused at how he’s acting right now.

He started pacing a little, which did not do anything to calm my nerves about this whole situation so I walked over to him and gently grabbed his hand.

“Kookie, I’m going to need you to calm down so you can tell me what’s going on.”

I gestured for him to take a seat at one of the bar stools near the kitchen island and told him to take deep breaths while I walked over to the fridge, opening it up.

“Do you want something to drink before you tell me what’s happening,” I looked over my shoulder.

He nodded, still taking deep breaths while I grabbed two water bottles and walked back to him. I handed him his water bottle as I leaned against the counter in front of him, taking a sip. He took a few gulps, almost finishing half of it before looking back at me.

“Are you calm enough to tell me what’s ‘not true’?”

“Okay so… a few articles were published a couple of hours ago with a video of me and a girl in my house hugging and-”

“Wait! Someone was stalking you,” I asked. This is not something new to him and the members, but it never fails to surprise me everytime it happens.

“Yes, but that’s not the main point right now,” he shook his head, disregarding the stalking for right now.

“Anyway, they were saying that she could be my secret girlfriend because all of the evidence is pointing to the person in the video actually being me. Not saying that it wasn’t, but as soon as I saw the rumors I had to tell you that they weren’t true in any way so… I booked it all the way from my place to here.”

I slowly nodded, trying to process what the hell he just said because I was still tired from being woken up this early.

“So… what you’re saying is that there are some dating rumors swirling around with you and another girl and you booked it here at two in the morning to let me know that they aren’t true when you could’ve just sent me a text that I would’ve read when I got up?”

He nodded, looking a little sad. I couldn’t put my finger on it when I felt a little sad when he told me that he was with a girl, but that didn’t stop a sly grin from forming on my lips.

“So… you were with a girl?”

“Y/n/n, that’s not the point,” he sighed, placing his water bottle on the island, “What I’m saying is that nothing that you might read in the news is true.”

“Look Kook, who you’re in a relationship with is none of my business, your decisions are yours and as your best friend, I should be supportive of you.”

He stood up so fast that it almost knocked over the chair and took two steps to stand in front of me, looking at me in a way that was pleading for me to understand.

“Y/n there’s nothing for you to be supportive of because we aren’t dating.”

I looked at him, trying to figure out why he’s saying this, but ultimately shook my head in confusion and started to move away from him. He grabbed my wrist just as I was about to walk toward the living room, pulling me to him.

“You have to believe me.”

His voice was starting to sound frustrated and I started to feel the same as this conversation went on.

I huffed, “Listen, I don’t understand why you’re trying so hard to tell me that you’re not dating that girl!”

Quickly, he let go of my wrist, but cupped my face just as fast.

“Because I’m in love with you! Not some random girl that came to hang out with me at my house!”

My eyes widened at the confession. Everything became quiet and it felt like time had stopped around us. We stood there for what felt like an eternity just looking at each other.

“What,” I whispered, though it sounded way too loud in the deafening silence that had surrounded us.

He took his hands away from my face and let them drop to his sides as he sighed, “I’m in love with you, Y/n. I have been for a while. That’s why I was trying so hard to convince you that the articles aren’t true.”

I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was in love with me?! As much as I wanted that to be true, I still couldn’t believe it.

I shook my head, “Kook, you’re sleep deprived, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Y/n, I know what I’m saying. Don’t you believe me,” he asked.

I started to slowly back away from him, “No, because it’s super late and you should get some sleep. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

I turned around to walk to the living room. He followed me, “Why can’t you believe that I’m in love with-”

I whirled around to face him, “Because that can’t happen!”

Tears started to well up in my eyes as I continued, “We… can’t happen.”

He looked visibly confused at my statement. I sighed, willing away the tears before they could fall.

“We can’t happen,” I repeated. He took a step towards me, “Why not?”

“Because, Jungkook, you’re an idol. You’re famous, but I’m not. Sure I work with you and the others, but no one knows me. And think about ARMY, do you really think that they would be okay with you being in a relationship with someone that they don’t know?”

He thought for a moment, “I think that they would be happy for me.”

“Do you really believe that? That some of them wouldn’t come after me because I’m some rando who’s dating one of their favorite idols? That they would peacefully let us be? Because I don’t think they would.”

He was going to say something, but I interrupted him, “and as much as I would love to be in a relationship with you, I think that being friends is about as much as I’m going to be a part of your life, Jungkook.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “So that’s it? We know each other’s feelings, but we can’t be together?”

I sadly nodded. He crossed his arms and I leaned against the back of the couch. We stood in silence for a few moments before Jungkook sighed and walked over to lean against the couch next to me.

“So what do we do now,” he whispered.

I glanced at him and sucked in a breath, already regretting what I’m about to say.

“You go home, we get some rest, and forget about this night.”

He gently took my hand and I closed my eyes to stop the tears that were forming again.

“I don’t think that I can do that, Y/n.”

I looked at him and saw his eyebrows furrowed like they usually do when he’s tearing up.

“We’re gonna have to for now, but maybe one day when things settle down we can try this and see where it goes?”

I wanted to give him some sort of hope, but I wasn’t sure if I completely believed what I was saying.

He slowly nodded at my statement as I reluctantly pushed off the couch, letting his hand fall from my and made my way over to the door, placing my hand on the cold handle.

“But I think it would be for the best if you left now. It's late and we still have work tomorrow.”

Jungkook’s gaze fell to the ground before trudging over to the door. I opened the door as he came closer, stepping to the side. He started to walk out, but paused in the middle of the doorway and turned to face me.

“Are we okay?”

I put on my best smile and nodded, “Of course we are, Kook. Now get some rest, okay?”

He nodded, “Goodnight, Y/n/n.”

With that, he left. I sighed and whispered to myself, “Goodnight, Kookie,” before closing the door.

I stood with my back against the door. What just happened, I thought.

I felt like crying, but there wasn’t anything to cry about because I was right. I didn’t want to get attacked or followed just because I was in a relationship with him, no matter how much I really did want that relationship.

Realizing that thinking about it won’t help, I pushed off the door to make my way toward my room to get some sleep and avoid overthinking.

This really is like the ‘right person, wrong time’ trope, huh?

I scoffed as I settled into bed. “God, I hate that trope.”

#bts fic #bts x reader #bts x y/n #jk x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #no beta we die like men #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #bangtan #jeon jungkook fanfic

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just-aake · 8 months

Text

Boundless Devotion - Part II

Pairing: princess!Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: MedievalAU. Natasha is the eldest princess of the Romanov Kingdom. As the time of her coronation approaches, she is suddenly forced to make a decision – either find herself a partner or her parents will choose one for her.

Warnings: slight angst, violence, abuse

Words: 2582

The carriage leaves the castle gates, carrying the two noblewomen inside.

“I don’t understand why I can’t be outside with the other knights,” Kate pouts as she looks out the window at the guards riding their horses beside the carriage.

Her dog mirrors her position, resting its head sadly against the opening of the window.

Flipping to the next page of the book Queen Melina gave you earlier today after your meeting with her, you respond without looking up at her.

“Because, Kate, even though you chose to become a knight, at the moment, you are still the daughter of a noble family."

You finally glance up at her with a pointed look as you continue your explanation.

"That means you still need to have some form of protection until then.”

Kate groans in disappointment as she slumps back on the seat across from you, crossing her arms as she sulks.

After numerous pleas and persistent requests to her mother about her desire to join the Royal Guard, she finally gained permission to begin her training, though under a lot of conditions and restrictions.

Quickly bored with her sulking, Kate glances at the book in your lap curiously before asking.

“Chronicles of the Red Room? Why are you reading about that?”

With a nonchalant shrug, you reply casually, “I just wanted to learn more about my family’s involvement in the war.”

The book in question recounts personal stories from the previous war between the Romanov Kingdom and the Stark Kingdom.

More precisely, it focuses on a place known as the Red Room, which was apparently under the control of your family's house during the war.

According to your findings so far, this place was mainly used for interrogating captured enemies, and it appears that during the war, the Dreykov House gained considerable recognition for its effectiveness in infiltrating enemy ranks and securing strategic advantages for the kingdom through the Red Room.

The queen graciously provided you with some books on the subject when you inquired about it.

Kate hums in casual interest before commenting curiously.

“Wasn’t your old governess also a general during the war? What was her name again…?”

Kate snaps her fingers when she remembers.

“Madam B!”

Your hand pauses mid-flip at the name, but Kate doesn’t notice your sudden discomfort as she continues.

"She's always been by your side since you were young, but I haven't seen her around for a while now. Where did she disappear to anyway?"

You compose yourself quickly when Kate looks at you, giving her a faint smile before replying, “I believe she moved to the countryside.”

Kate nods in acknowledgment, accepting your words.

As you're about to return your focus to the book, Kate's next words cause you to tense once again.

“It's odd that she decided to leave you now. You'd think she'd want to stay close, considering what happened."

Kate looks at you cautiously, knowing how sensitive the subject of the incident is for you.

You sigh internally at her words.

Despite her cheerful and carefree demeanor, you sometimes forget how observant Kate can be about certain matters.

“Madam B has been a part of my family's employment for many years. It was just simply time for her to get what she deserved,” you explain vaguely.

Noticing Kate nervously biting her lips—a telltale sign of her uncertainty—you anticipate there's something else she wants to say.

Eventually, she gives in with a sad expression.

“That wasn’t the only thing that changed.”

Letting out a deep sigh, you're already aware of what she's referring to.

“I already told you, Kate,” you reassure her gently. “Just because we don’t spend all of our time together anymore doesn’t mean Natasha and I are not still friends.”

Shrugging your shoulders, you return your attention to your book, commenting, "We just…each have our own responsibilities now.”

Kate sighs sadly, slumping back into her seat, “I know, but it just doesn't feel the same. We miss having you with us like before, especially Natasha.”

Choosing not to reply, you pretend to concentrate on your book, ignoring the tightness in your chest at her words.

The truth is — you miss Natasha too.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

The carriage stops at the entrance of your family’s manor.

Your gatekeeper, Pietro Maximoff, waves at you as you enter. When he opens the carriage door for you, you see your lady-in-waiting, Wanda Maximoff, rushing down the front steps.

“Welcome back, Lady Y/n.”

The twins stand side by side when they greet you.

You give them a warm smile and nod at them graciously.

As orphans from the remnants of the war, Wanda and Pietro were brought into your family’s house by some of the staff members.

Due to their young age when they joined your household, the three of you practically grew up together.

As a result, you genuinely see them more like siblings than anything else, and they reciprocate the same sentiment.

However, in the presence of those outside the manor, they still try to maintain a respectful attitude toward you.

“Thank you,” you say before gesturing to the back of the carriage. “Pietro, can you help bring in the box?”

He nods at your request, moving to reach for the item.

When you’re about to go up the stairs, Wanda places a gentle hand on your arm, stopping your movement.

Her face holds a tense smile as she speaks.

“Your father has come home early from his meeting,” she states in a casual tone. Though, her eyes dart behind you with a meaningful glance.

The news causes you to freeze, your eyes slightly widening. Swiftly, you turn around and intercept Kate's path, stopping her in her tracks.

She tilts her head at you curiously in confusion.

You offer her a reassuring smile, dispelling all the tense emotions that had crossed your face just moments ago.

“I think I’m just going to rest early today, Kate. It's probably best if you head home," you suggest.

Kate begins to examine you carefully, her expression turning worried.

“Are you okay? Do you feel sick?”

You shake your head, turning her around and lightly directing her back to the carriage before responding.

“I’m fine, just a little tired from reading during the ride.”

Kate casts a skeptical glance your way as she ushers Lucky back into the carriage.

“Okay…,” she says, her voice trailing off. She bites her lip again with uncertainty, remembering something. Then with a deep breath, she speaks again.

“Yelena and I plan to have a picnic at the usual spot by the lake tomorrow,” Kate hesitates briefly before continuing. “Natasha will be there too. I could come in the morning, and we can go together if you’d like?” she proposes with a hopeful tone.

You give her an apologetic look and shake your head, denying her offer.

“I can't, Kate. I have a meeting with Lady Maria tomorrow.”

Kate acknowledges your response with a disappointed nod, retreating back into the carriage with a sad goodbye.

You wave as the carriage disappears through the gates. Once you're certain she's out of sight, you hurry up the front stairs and make your way into your family’s manor.

Wanda and Pietro fall in step beside you. Together, the three of you move swiftly along the hallways, taking a less direct route to your room within the manor.

“Where is he now?” you ask, turning slightly to Wanda.

“He was in his study before you arrived,” she replies.

You glance at the box in Pietro’s hand, which contains other books that the queen gave you today. These books concern subjects that you don't want your father to know you are researching.

“Can you keep that in your quarters for now?”

“Of course,” Pietro replies, nodding without hesitation.

You turn the corner toward the staircase that leads to your floor.

“What do you think you are doing?”

The booming voice from above causes you to freeze, and you look up to see your father, Lord Dreykov, standing at the top of the staircase. His gaze is fixed on the three of you, examining you critically before shifting his eyes to the person behind you.

He points at Pietro, ordering, “You, take that box to my study.”

Pietro doesn’t move at the command. Instead, he turns his attention to look at you for direction.

Dreykov watches the interaction with narrow eyes, and a flicker of irritation crosses his face. He descends the steps slowly, clasping his hands behind his back.

You hold your breath nervously when he stops in front of you, your eyes watching him cautiously.

The sound of a sharp, echoing slap rings out in the room, and your head snaps to the side from the impact of the hit.

As you instinctively bring your hand to your cheek in shock, you cry out in pain when he harshly grabs your wrist and pushes you forcefully to your knees.

You hear some movement from behind you. Glancing back, Wanda and Pietro both have shocked and concerned looks as they step towards you.

“Don’t move,” Dreykov commands threateningly.

Your father twists your wrist in a painful direction, causing you to cry out in pain again.

In response, Wanda and Pietro come to an abrupt stop, freezing in their tracks.

Dreykov chuckles darkly at them.

“So, the two of you can follow orders after all.”

He observes your two obviously loyal attendants, seeing a mix of restrained anger and concern etched across their faces. Annoyance tinges his expression as he clicks his tongue in irritation.

“It seems that in my absence from the manor, some of the staff have forgotten who’s the one in control here.”

He turns to Pietro threateningly, his hand still holding your wrist in a deathly grip.

“Am I going to have to repeat myself?”

Pietro clenches his teeth in anger, his gaze shifting between you and your father’s vice-like grip on your wrist. With a reluctant bow, he hurries away toward the study with the box in tow.

When Pietro disappears around the corner, your father finally lets go of your wrist.

You swiftly pull your hand back, cradling it protectively against your chest.

Immediately, you sense Wanda’s presence behind you. Her hands grasp your arms, pulling you up and drawing you closer to her, creating a safe distance from your father.

Dreykov sneers at you, turning to leave.

“Don’t ever disrespect me like that again, daughter,” he warns, his tone threatening.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

“The nerve of that man!” Wanda fumes as she holds your injured wrist in her lap.

You could see the purplish discoloration on your skin, indicating that a bruise was already forming.

“He’s absent for most of your life. Now, suddenly, he decides to stay and terrorize you and everyone else in the manor!”

Though her words are angry, Wanda is gentle as she applies the medical salves on your wrist.

She's also not wrong about your father. Throughout your childhood, he was rarely at home, always away on trips and meetings to other kingdoms.

Honestly, any memories of moments when he was actually at the manor are hazy to you.

For some reason, he has chosen to stay in the kingdom for a full year now. His return happened shortly after the incident that unfolded on Natasha's birthday.

However, it's hard to believe that his presence is solely driven by concern for you.

Wanda continues, “Not to mention those creepy guards of his that hide in the shadows.”

You wince when she begins to wrap the bandages around a tender area.

“Which is why you should lower your voice, Wanda,” you warn her.

A familiar knocking pattern sounds at the door before Wanda can respond.

Knowing who it is, she calls out, “Come in!”

Pietro slips inside quickly, his gaze immediately focused on your wrist in concern.

“How is she?”

You respond before Wanda can continue her rant.

“I’m fine. Both of you calm down.”

Wanda huffs at you, crossing her arms, before noticing Pietro’s slightly disheveled hair and asking, “What took you so long anyway?”

Pietro's expression shifts into his usual mischievous grin as he pulls out the bundle of books from behind his back.

You recognize them as the ones the queen had given to you from the box.

“I ran to the library and switched these out with some of your geography books,” he explains proudly.

“Pietro!” you chastise before reprimanding him with a sigh. “Thank you, but please don’t do something that risky again. Who knows what my father would do if he caught you.”

Noticing Wanda and Pietro communicating silently to each other with their eyes, you ask them knowingly.

“What is it?”

Wanda's gaze turns sad and uncertain as she speaks, “We can’t really help you much given our position, but maybe if you tell Princess Natasha…”

Wanda gives you a knowing look before confidently stating, "She wouldn’t let this happen to you."

Sighing tiredly at the repeated reminder of the princess’ absence from your life, you adjust your sleeve to conceal the bandages as you explain.

“Her coronation is in a couple of months. I’m not going to burden Natasha with problems of a single noble family when she’s going to have to worry about an entire kingdom soon.”

The twins give you sympathetic looks, already aware of the real reasons for your reluctance to involve the princess.

With a sigh, you remind yourself of the decision that you made after that incident last year.

It was the best option.

The further you stay away from Natasha, the safer she will be.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

The following afternoon, accompanied by Wanda, you go to meet Lady Maria Hill at her manor.

The purpose of the meeting was to see the compatibility between the two of you.

In other words, it was sort of like a first date.

The Hill family is renowned for their significant contributions to the kingdom's military. A majority of their family members hold distinctions as decorated soldiers or knights in the kingdom.

In fact, her cousin is the Captain of the Royal Guard at the castle.

Even now, Maria wears her commander uniform while she sits across from you. Her posture remains perfect and attentive as she places her cup down on the table before addressing you.

“To be honest, Lady Y/n, I was surprised that you still wanted to meet with me today, given the recent news.”

Confused, you glance at Wanda in question, wondering if she knew what Maria was referring to. She shakes her head and shrugs her shoulders in response.

With a polite smile, you return your attention to Maria.

“I’m afraid we haven’t heard any news,” you tell her.

“Well, it’s more like a rumor, just something Steve heard amongst the castle workers,” Maria comments casually before leaning forward slightly as if whispering a secret.

“Apparently, Princess Natasha disclosed last night that she’s in a secret relationship.”

You ignore the new uncomfortable feeling in your chest at the fact that there was something concerning Natasha that you weren’t aware of.

You manage to conceal the surprise and discomfort on your face as your hands cradle the cup in front of you, its warmth offering you little comfort.

“Oh? And did she mention who it is?” you ask, curious to learn more.

“That’s what makes this meeting so strange,” Maria pauses before nodding at you.

“She said that she was in a relationship with you, Lady Y/n.”

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

Series Masterlist : Boundless Devotion

a/n: Thank you for reading! Hopefully the tags work, just let me know if you want to be added to the taglist for this series.

Taglist: @lightwhoranoutoflight, @taliiiaasteria

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff x you #black widow x reader #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff

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inner-viper · 1 month

Text

When will you have kids with your FS?

Hello, I hope everyone had an amazing week! Let's welcome new energy into our lives. Now this collective reading was difficult to interpret but I found it fun to answer. I generally only post readings that I think people will find fun. Anyway, Tier's 2 reading will be coming out by this week and I will be asking for another question for their monthly personal readings! Guys I lowkey have baby fever too, send help because I can't have a child nor do I have money for a baby. But imagining their little kicks is so cute.

Book a reading with me for a detailed reading! There is currently a 25% discount running and the most popular tarot reading, "Full NSFW TAROT READING" has the most reviews.

Pile 1

The Cosmic Slumber Tarot: Queen of Cups, Ten of Swords, Temperance, Princess of Pentacles, and The Hanged One

Tarot of Sexual Magic: 5 of Chalices, The Chariot, 4 of Chalices, King of Pentacles, The Moon, and (Bonus card that flew out) Knight of Wands

This will happen when you feel emotionally ready, you both will discuss things and have previously had conversations surrounding children. You both agreed that you both would want to have children at a time when you both are emotionally available and stable. This will happen after a long time together, and it’s definitely after marriage.

There was a point in your life when you went through childhood neglect or pains that prevented you from seeking out a new mindset/life. This took a lot of hard work and introspection on your part, it definitely feels like “I need to be perfect before I become a parent”. You may have been stuck in old ways of thinking but eventually were able to understand that you cannot be perfect.

Now, I do see that you will discuss your values and how you want your children to grow up. You both will be fair and balanced. I am seeing you both seeking out some books and parental classes together. You both will focus on understanding what it means to be a parent, and I do see this can take up a lot of your time from other hobbies that you may have been venturing into during this time period of your life.

You are at the point in your life where you have money and will continue to grow money. I do sense that your partnership will be about creating wealth and creating things in general. This doesn’t mean that you are poor but the majority will not be loaded with billions of dollars. It feels like some of you who choose this pile can grow to be very rich after you have a baby. For some people who will be carrying the child in their wombs, you will want to be chilling and not doing anything extreme. So you both will make plans and have more than enough money and resources for this to occur.

Overall, you both will have a different outlook on life. You both had precious thoughts that may have gotten in the way of having children despite wanting children. It will be a beautiful moment to notice the little things in life and take joy in everyday life.

The sex is kinky and... subscribe to Patreon to find out about the sex

Pile 2

The Cosmic Slumber Tarot: Nine of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles, The Fool, The Hermit, and Seven of Torches

Tarot of Sexual Magic: Knave of Wands, 8 of Wands, 6 of Wands, Queen of Chalices, and 3 of Wands

You both have high incomes together, you will be at a financially advantageous time. There is stability in the earnings you make. I heard “high yield…” so you can have something in which you are investing and it will become successful over time. You both enjoy the amount of financial freedom you both have.

You both will be collaborative, so there will be a lot of exciting plans for having a child. You both will be eager to make things happen. There can be early talks of where the nursery room is going to be, and what it’s going to be like. You both will also make cute trinkets for your newborn despite no one being pregnant yet haha.

Although, you will feel overjoyed having a child. There is this sense of not understanding the full responsibilities of parenthood, it will be a whole separate journey of itself. This will be a path where you don’t know what's coming next and this can make you feel like you don’t fully understand the meaning of being a parent. Make sure to do research even if you have “baby fever”, it’s important to be informed and educated.

At times you will feel unsure, and even guilty of your naivety from the past. There was a sense of following your intuition but also looking back and seeing that you weren’t prepared for everything to come. Things will be hectic, and your life will become stressful. A period of uncertainty will come to you, you will spend time reflecting.

Overall, you both should focus on understanding your traumas. You need to look at things through different lenses because your child can resent you if you are not listening to them. Things can end badly because of your lack of parenting skills, for some, it’s a matter of not being closed off and letting these old habits go. There is some of you who will need to set boundaries with your partner if you feel like they are pressuring you because that is not ok.

The sex is very fiery and...subscribe to Patreon to find out about the sex

Pile 3

The Cosmic Slumber Tarot: Queen of Cups, Eight of Torches, Princess of Cups, Nine of Swords, and Wheel of Fortune

Tarot of Sexual Magic: Knave of Pentacles, Knight of Wands, 8 of Chalices, 3 of Wands, and 6 of Swords

This will be a time when you feel like your heart is open. After many years, your heart is ready to be emotionally involved with your children. You and your partner will experience joy in coming to a point in the relationship where you are taking it to the next step. You both will be committed to making things happen and doing things the right way by your own standards.

This may be something that you both have discussed over time, you both wanted children and were waiting for the right time. When you do make plans to have children, it will be fast. You both have a lot of trust, so that’s why this was able to occur fast. Due to having multiple prior discussions, you know you both are ready for this new beginning.

You both will spend some time thinking about the names, your cultural upbringings, and the values you want to teach your children. You both are peaceful people, so I do sense that you both will pour out your hearts and full devotion. There are a lot of times when you both will envision what your life with your child is like. You may even dream about your child with your FS haha.

However, you will be anxious about having a child and I think this is the fear surrounding childbirth. You may express a lot of stressed-out moments when you feel triggered but this is your thoughts consuming you. It will be important for you to stay grounded and focus on uplifting yourself rather than putting yourself down.

Having a child for both of you will have a positive impact on your life. There will be many good changes that will occur, for some of you, you are “fated” to have children. Maybe this is in your astrology chart and it can give you insights into your future children. There will be many adventurous days and you both will support each other thoroughly.

The sex starts off with a deep makeout...subscribe to Patreon to find out about the sex

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oneeyedoctogod · 8 months

Text

Gods this fandom sometimes, I swear. I'm sorry I read two deeply bad takes back to back, and I have to rant. I'm sure others have said it better than I, but really. Come on. I actually have to wonder if people who talk about the extras actually read them because...

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji didn't leave the cultivation world in canon. They elope, and then they come back. The fact they're not involved in the bigger politics is... pretty much to be expected, but they very much do participate in the day to day lives of the Lan sect. They go where the chaos is to night hunt, they teach, Lan Wangji comforts his brother in his seclusion, and Wei Wuxian meets some new Lan disciples.

As for the cottage fantasy... Again, I honestly have to wonder if the people talking about it actually read the extra it's in? Because it's just that. A fantasy. A dream. It's basically a representation of Wei Wuxian's wants for a domestic life, something he definitely has now! He's always been characterised as someone who wants to help others and who loves cultivation. Why would you think the dream is to be taken literally?

And the idea that Wei Wuxian has 'several important relationships just floating there', that he's not dealing with... Where? Which ones? He teaches the juniors and grows closer to Jin Ling. He doesn't exactly interact with Lan Xichen, but he asks after him. He meets Mianmian again and wishes her well. He asks after Wen Ning after Lan Sizhui comes back then has some father-son bonding moments with him!

Nie Huaisang and Wei Wucian aren't close. They were friendly once, but they didn't ever meet after the lectures. I don't see how that qualifies as an "important" relationship, especially with Nie Huaisang never openly admitting to his part in Wei Wuxian's resurrection. But even then, Wei wuxian says he'll be keeping a close eye on him, so one can imagine they meet again at some point.

As for Jiang Cheng... what more do you want Wei Wuxian to do exactly? Even if you want a reconciliation, why can't Jiang Cjeng be he one to actually grow up and do the work for once? He's the one who never apologized. He's the one who is still openly hostile in the extras. If Wei Wuxian wants to move on and not interact with him, he's well within his right to do that, given how Jiang Cheng treated him. Hell, he's more generous than most since he encourages Jin Ling to talk to Jiang Cheng. If I'd been treated by someone like Jiang Cheng treated Wei Wuxian and saw him hit our nephew several times, I certainly wouldn't encourage them to meet. (But that's Wei Wuxian for you, the moral ideal and better than all of us.)

Anyway, I really don't understand why people insist on making Wangxian have a sadder ending than the one they actually did. It's a HEA for them, sorry guys. And yeah, maybe Wei wuxian has some trauma to work on... but the whole point of the character is that he doesn't let his trauma define him. That he wants to forgives, forgets and moves on.

(Also, just because he doesn't have a breakdown or the cultivation equivalent of therapy in the extra doesn't mean he's not working on them? He finally is at peace, with a solid support network. Maybe he does talk about his past hurts with Lan Wangji - Lan Wangji certai ly knows when to comfort him when he needs it. But the narrative point of the extras is to show they're moving on from the past! And you know what, sometimes the beat thing to do to heal is to do just that. They're living their best lives, deal with it.)

And finally... shit did you really read the whole book and come to the conclusion Wei Wuxian should have 'learned to accept help'? Who the fuck offered help? Who did he refuse?

(Don't say Lan Wangji. 1) I love him, but "Come back to Gusu" is very much not an obvious offer to help, and when Wei Wuxian understandably misunderstands him, he never manages to correct it.

And 2) once Wei Wuxian tells him explicitly he's not leaving the Wen remnants behind, Lan Wangji understands and backs off. He approves! I'm sure he'd do more if he could, but just like Jiang Yanli, he can't!)

Jiang Cheng literally said, 'No one will help you, no one is on your side' (and then made sure that was true by saying Wei Wuxian was the enemy of the cultivation world). Jin Zixuan chose to ask the one who was ambushed to disarm rather than the 300 cultivators attacking him and lunged at him when Wei Wuxian refused to comply (because he'd be killed if he did!!). How is that help?

Who else tried to help? Whose help did Wei Wuxian reject?

Wei Wuxian was presented with a series of bad choices and took the best he could, the ones aligned with his principles, accepting he'd have to face consequences at some point but also knowing it was still worth it. He's not the one who failed or made a fatal mistake or betrayed his word.

Rant over. Sorry about that.

#MDZS #Wangxian #Wei Wuxian #I am so sorry but those two posts pissed me off #I dont want to fall into the easy argument lf 'you lack reading comprehension' but...#seriously all of that is EXPLICITLY SAID in the text #this is not interpretation!

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writingwithfolklore · 8 months

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Surviving Death

I am a sucker for revival after character death—as long as it’s done well. Maybe in the future we’ll do a separate post on killing characters, but what I’ll say about it now is that revival can be a fantastic plot twist or narrative turn as long as both it and the death has proper meaning.

While you may want to revive a character for a happy ending--they wake up and not only is the world saved but everyone made it out alive! This can also sometimes feel a bit cheap. What was the point of suffering the death if they were just to get to come back easy-peasy? Consider, would End Game have been as revered if Tony got to survive his sacrifice?

So here’s some ways to bring a character back to life without losing the meaning of their death:

They are forever changed from the experience

A classic “came back wrong”, one of my favourite things in fiction. You get to choose to the extent they are wrong. Maybe the ‘wrong’ isn’t some supernatural influence, but rather just a result of the experience of dying.

They saw something about the afterlife, they’ve lost memories, they’ve gained new memories about a past or a future or alternate timeline, they realize how much they mean to certain people, they discover just how little they meant to others, etc. etc.

Their death (and subsequent revival) should quite literally change the course of their life. That’s not something one could go through lightly. Whether it gives them trauma, new perspectives, or a complete shift in personality/morals, they definitely didn’t come back how they left.

2. Sacrifice for a Sacrifice

Also a pretty common trope—you don’t get to gain something unless you lose something. To bring them back, someone else has to take their place, or something important is lost. Maybe to trade for their companion back, the main character loses the greatest asset to their quest. Maybe they have to choose between two people, and the two who live have to live with that fact.

I read a book once where the main character had to choose between his love interest and his brother in a Saw-like trap. He chooses his brother, and the villain kills him anyway. Now he must continue his quest with his love interest, who knows he didn’t choose her. It was tragic, and completely changed their dynamic.

3. They’re only half back

They come back, but only some of the way. Maybe they are cursed to die again in a year. They’re tied to one place and will disappear if they leave it. They’re a ghost, or otherwise not fully present. They exist only in relation to certain objects or people. Their communication is lost, or certain other abilities they used to have.

They came back, but only some of them—the rest is lost to the beyond.

Most importantly to reviving characters is the permanent consequences. Death is no easy thing to overcome, and whatever the circumstances are--it should remain with them forever.

What are some other ways to revive characters?

#writing #creative writing #writers #screenwriting #writing community #writing inspiration #books #film #filmmaking #writing advice #revival #character death #character revival #surviving death #came back wrong

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sara-scribbles · 10 months

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Melting the Dragon King's Heart (Part 1)

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Malleus Draconia/F!Reader Summary: After falling down some stairs, you wake up in the body of a villain from one of Idia's cheesy romance books. Destined to die a fiery death, you have to figure out a way to change your fate. Word Count: 6,974 Notes: I've been reading a lot of isekai lately, which sparked this story. Hope you enjoy! Warnings: Mentions of past physical and emotional abuse, reader uses she/her pronouns

Part 1 Part 2, Part 3

“The person you are trying to call is unavailable. Please leave your message after the beep. After, you may…” Letting out a deep sigh, you wait for the message to finish.

“Hey, Idia, it’s me. I know you’re probably gaming right now, but I wanted to let you know I’ll be dropping by later today.” You pause before darting across the street. You nearly get hit by a car but make it on the sidewalk unscathed.

“Anyways, I finished ‘Melting the Dragon King’s Heart’ and that was the cringiest thing I’ve read! I’ll give you the full review when I come over.”

Ending the call, you shake your head at the phone screen. You head down the stairs to the subway while shooting Idia another text. Not watching where you’re going, your foot misses a step and you're sent careening down the stairs.

“Watch out!” a voice shouts.

---

You black out momentarily before regaining consciousness. Something feels off but you can’t quite place what. Your head pounds and your body aches. You can hear muffled voices.

Eyes opening, unfamiliar faces stare down at you. “Your highness?” someone asks.

Sitting up, you reach for your head but freeze when you realize that isn’t your hand. “Please be careful, your highness.”

Slowly studying the hand, you wave it around. You ignore the whispers and looks. You slowly reach your face, but it doesn’t feel like your face. Looking further down, you notice the clothes you’re wearing are completely different.

“W-what’s going on?” You slap a hand over your mouth. Definitely not your voice.

An elderly man leans down. “You fell off your horse, your highness. Are you feeling okay?”

You stare at him, before pointing to yourself. “A-are you talking to me?”

His brows draw together as he gives a concerned glance behind you. “You took quite a tumble so you might be a little out of sorts.”

He reaches to help you up, but you jerk away. Standing on your own, your head continues to throb painfully. You push past the group of people. You’re not sure where you're going, but your feet seem to know. Your brain is too scrambled to even notice your surroundings. Rushing down hallways and past other people, you enter into a room and lock the door.

Your gaze immediately falls on the full length mirror. As you slowly approach, the reflection in the mirror is not your own. You touch the cold surface and so does the image. Reaching up, you slap your cheeks a few times, the image does too. Your face stings.

“What the hell!?” And then your headache intensifies. You crumble to the floor clutching your head. Memories that aren’t yours flood your mind before you blackout once more.

---

You can’t believe you’re in Idia’s horrible isekai novel. Worse, you’re in the body of the secondary villain! She wasn’t very important to the story besides a vehicle to drive the plot. She didn’t even get a name. The story was from the protagonist's point of view, so you learned very little of the queen. In the end, she and her family died a fiery death after their nefarious plans to control the dragon king, Malleus Draconia, were uncovered by the protagonist.

Based on her memories, her marriage to the dragon king was six months ago. So, you had six more months before the arrival of the protagonist. Which also meant you had half a year before you’d be burned to death. You had no plans on dying. Again.

Crawling out of bed, you head to the connected bath. The maids had drawn a hot bath. Glancing in the bathroom mirror, you get a flash of her back. Old and newer scars crisscross the expanse of skin. The first time you saw them, you were flooded with horrible memories. Memories of a younger version crying while being beaten within an inch of her life. You tried to stay away from mirrors as much as possible.

Being the secondary villain, she isn’t really what you’d call evil. In the story, she came off like an emotionless puppet. The queen has a unique magic that can turn someone’s heart to ice, which allows her to control them. Ironic really. From what you remember from the story, the dragon king is too powerful, so her unique magic didn’t work right away. Over the course of a year, she uses her magic on him everyday. This causes him to become distant and easier to manipulate. When she’s almost successful, the king meets the protagonist, who immediately melts his frozen heart. It’s honestly so cliche, you had a hard time getting to the end. When you read the story, you felt nothing for the villains.

Having the queen’s memories, you feel bad for her. Her entire life was dictated by her parents, the duke and duchess. From what she wore to what she ate to what kind of instrument she played, it was chosen for her. Any sense of rebellion was quickly beaten out of her from a young age. She was molded into the perfect puppet that her parents could control. She had no say in the plan. From what you can tell, she didn’t even have any feelings about the king. Or anything for that matter.

Truly a sad villain.

After being found passed out on the floor, you were put on strict bed rest for a few days. According to the doctors the fall from the horse caused the queen to stop breathing for a few minutes. You wonder if at that time she had died, you had somehow entered her body. It didn’t feel like you’re sharing the body with anyone. The only thing left behind are her memories and lingering emotions.

During the mandatory bedrest, you hatched a plan. You need to get the dragon king to be your ally. Sure he’s technically this body’s - your body now - husband, but at this point in time, he’s become very distant because of her magic. You would stop using the magic on him, and hopefully he would return to normal. Then, when the protagonist shows up, they can take down the real villains. You’d have an amicable divorce and live the rest of your life out in peace.

Taking a deep breath, you steel yourself. Operation save yourself from certain fiery death starts now!

---

“Your highness, are you feeling better?” the old butler, Diablo, from before asks. He sets down a tea tray. Having been with the Draconia family for ages, he’s assigned to watch over the queen.

“Yes, my head doesn’t hurt anymore. The delicious food helps.” If there’s one thing you like about this new life, it’s the food. You could stuff your face with food and never be tired.

The salt-and-pepper haired man pauses but quickly collects himself. He pours another cup of tea while you finish up breakfast. “I’m glad to see you’ve gained a healthy appetite.”

Pausing mid-bite, you remember that the queen only picked at her food. Her memories often depicted a somber scene while she ate by herself. No talking or eye contact was ever made. She never bothered to hide her disinterest.

When you read the book, you didn’t feel too bad for the queen. The author barely wrote about her except when the story needed to continue. Perhaps that’s why you didn’t like the story. The queen was a lackluster villain while her parents were almost cartoonishly evil. The protagonist had been a little better, but still somewhat flat. However, you assumed the appeal was the sweet romance between the two. The romance was actually kind of cute. Speaking of romance, you have yet to see the dragon king in person.

“Your highness?” Diablo brought you from your thoughts.

“Hmm?” You realize your teacup is empty. “Did I drink that?”

He nods. “Yes, your highness. You were deep in thought while taking sips.”

You’re surprised you didn’t dribble any on you. Maybe it’s all due to the rigorous etiquette training the queen had gone through. “Is there anything I have planned today?”

“Not today, your highness.”

Great, you have the whole day to do whatever you want. “Diablo, where is the king?”

“In his study. He’s been up before the crack of dawn,” he informs you.

Thanks to her memories, you know exactly where his study is. You also know she never bothers him until she has to use her magic. However, now that this is your life, you plan to do whatever it takes to save yourself from dying.

“Thank you, Diablo.” Leaving the dining hall, you head to your dear husband’s study. Diablo follows a few paces behind.

“Are you planning to visit his highness?” he inquires.

He’s always with you. “Yes. I thought we could spend some time together.” Glancing behind you, his face is a neutral mask.

He merely nods when he meets your gaze. “An excellent idea, your highness.”

Arriving at the door to his study, you knock. There’s no answer. “Are you sure he’s here?”

“Yes. He rarely leaves his study until lunch time, your highness. Would you like me to check?” He gestures to the door.

“No, that’s okay. I can do it.” Grabbing the handle, you pull the door open. The room is mostly dark due to the curtains being drawn closed. Stepping inside, your eyes adjust to the gloom.

Malleus Draconia is an intimidating figure. Even sitting down he seems to tower over everything. His inky black hair contrasts with his pale skin. His most characteristic trait are the obsidian colored horns on his head. They gleam even in the low light. The lamp on his desk casts shadows on the bookshelf behind him. He’s very fitting for a male lead.

He doesn’t make a move to look up from his work. “Is there something wrong, Diablo?”

The old butler clears his throat. “No, your majesty.”

“I came to see you.” You paste on a smile though it’s a lot more work than you thought. It’s as if this face has never smiled, which wouldn’t be a surprise.

Malleus does look up when you speak. For a brief second his eyes widen before his brows draw together. “Is there something wrong, my queen?” His gaze remains dull. His eyes are like the color of old, dried leaves.

Stepping forward so you’re standing in front of his desk, you shake your head. “Nothing is wrong. Do I need a reason to visit you?”

His expression smooths. He has a cool, detached look. “Of course not. This palace is your home, you are allowed to go wherever you want. Do you need something?”

Clasping your hands together, you lean closer. “I was wondering if we could do something together. Once you’re done with everything, of course.”

He returns back to the paperwork. “I don’t know if I’ll have time. There’s a lot of things I need to do. And the war with the Queendom of Roses takes precedence…”

You blink twice. “War?”

“Yes. Your father had mentioned how the Queendom has been encroaching on his territory. He says they’re looking to take over more and more of Briar Valley. We should act before they even have a chance,” he explains.

Well this is the first you’ve heard of a war. However, if memory serves your right, your parents had invested interest in the land bordering the Queendom of Roses. Your home is a small land squished between two mighty kingdoms. Though not technically royalty, your parents are basically the rulers. They wanted to expand, but couldn’t. Unless…a war breaks out somehow. Compared to the Queendom, Briar Valley is far superior in magical combat. You’re pretty sure all Malleus has to do is wave his hand to annihilate the country off the map if he so wished.

Chewing on your lip, you wonder if there’s anything you can do to prevent this. You’d rather not let your so-called parents win anything. “How about we have lunch in the garden later?”

His hand pauses in writing. “You wish to eat together?” he asks, not looking up.

“Yes, I’d like to.” You’re determined to spend some time with him. Your life is at stake!

“Alright.” He returns back to writing.

Inwardly giving yourself a pat on the back, you flash him a smile even though he can’t see it. “I’ll see then, your majesty.”

Leaving the office, Diablo quietly closes the door. “Where can I find more information about the Queendom of Roses?”

“We can start at the royal library. I’m sure the head librarian can help find what you’re looking for.” Diablo leads the way.

---

You're late for lunch. Getting lost in the research about the Queendom of Roses, you forgot the time. Thankful Diablo came to remind you. Rushing to the gardens with an armful of papers and a few books, you easily navigate your way through the maze of the palace thanks to the former body’s memories.

Arriving, you immediately spy Malleus waiting at the table. Food is set out along with a tea cart. He looks utterly bored. However, he seems to perk up a bit as you come closer. Diablo immediately pulls out the chair for you to sit.

“Sorry I’m late! I got so lost in reading that I didn’t realize the time.” You place the books and papers on the table.

“What’s all this?” he asks, gesturing to the mess.

Trying to make a neater pile, you tap the top of one book. “I’ve been doing some research on the Queendom of Roses. And I don’t think going to war with them would be beneficial.”

“Oh?” He leans back, interest sparking his usual dull green eyes.

Opening one of the books with a map, you point to the page. “The Queendom of Roses is rich in natural resources when it comes to crops. A war would most likely ruin the land, and even magic wouldn’t be able to bring it back to what it once was.”

You rifle through your papers before finding the one you want. Placing it over the book, you continue, “Briar Valley lacks in certain resources when it comes to agriculture. We could make a trade agreement with the Queendom for their crops. It would greatly benefit the people.”

Malleus ponders your words. “And what of them encroaching on your country?”

“They have no need to expand nor do they have the power to do so.” You gesture to another book. “I doubt it’s on purpose.”

He stares at you. “So, are you saying your father lied? Was he trying to spark a fight between us and another country?”

Biting your tongue, you resist the urge to spill the truth. “I’m sure he was overreacting. Being such a small country, father takes the people’s safety as utmost. But I do think a war would be a waste of resources, time, and lives.”

Diablo clears the table of your things before serving lunch. Malleus eyes you curiously. “You’re sure about this?”

“Yes,” you answer firmly without hesitation.

Picking up a fork, he spears a tomato slice. “Alright. We won’t go to war with the Queendom.” He turns to Diablo, “Let Lilia know to stand down. I’ll work on drafting a proposal to the Queendom later.”

The butler bows before leaving. You let out a deep sigh but straighten up when you realize Malleus is watching you. “Thank you, your majesty.” You’re glad he didn’t fight you on this. Though maybe due to the queen’s magic, he’s too apathetic to care.

“Somethings changed about you,” he muses aloud. You stiffen as panic starts to build. “Are you feeling well?” he inquires.

“I’m fine, your majesty.” You try to smile convincingly but it probably looks more like a grimace.

“I heard you fell off your horse a few days ago. No lingering aches or pains?” he probes. Why’s he suddenly interested? He didn’t visit once while you were on bedrest.

You stab a carrot. “I feel fine. I did some thinking and decided I wanted to take a more active role. I am the queen, so I should be doing more.” The lie slips easily off your tongue.

He’s quiet for a moment. “I see…”

---

For the rest of the day, you try your best to read into the current situation of Briar Valley. It seems the queen didn’t bother with anything related to politics. All she seemed to do was sit in her room until she was needed. You had many memories of staring blankly at a wall or something equally mundane.

You know there’s probably rumors of how the queen seems to be a different person. One of the maids had mumbled something about the fall knocking her brain around. You could care less what they said as long as you managed to change your fate. Knowing the situation of the country you supposedly co-ruled is a good start.

At least it doesn’t seem like your parents are causing too much trouble. Beyond trying to instigate a war with the Queendom of Roses, they’ve been quiet. Perhaps they’re waiting for the queen’s magic to take hold before doing anything drastic. If your plan works, they’ll be in jail soon.

You’re curled up in bed with a thick history book about Briar Valley. Having taken out a few books from the royal library, your room is starting to look like a mess with the books all over the place. You know the basics about the country from her lessons, but you want to go more in depth. It’s best to know everything you can.

There’s a knock at the door that links to Malleus’s room. Out of habit you glance around for the digital clock at your bedside. But it’s not there. “Of course…”

During your isolation in the bedroom, you found out from her memories that Malleus and the queen do not share a bed. Instead they each have their own rooms, which are connected by a door. However, the queen keeps her door locked. The only time it’s unlocked is when Malleus comes over for an hour before bed every other week. She had made up some excuse about wanting to spend a little time with him before bed. It’s the dumbest excuse you’ve heard but somehow he bought it.

Maybe he wanted to please the queen? Maybe he really is that naive about what couples do? Whatever the reason for him to agree to this ritual, it had made it easier for the queen to cast her magic.

Slipping out of bed, you unlock the door. Malleus stands there in casual clothes. He doesn’t look ready for sleep, but he does tend to stay up late from what Diablo said. You have to bite back the smile when you notice the black dragon slippers on his feet. Very dignified.

“Uh… hi…” This is certainly awkward. “The room’s a little messy, but the bed’s mostly clear.”

Malleus glances around, his eyes landing on the book you had been reading. “History of Briar Valley?”

You lead him to the bed. He sits at the edge of the bed while you scoot closer to the middle. You draw your legs up to your chest. Without asking, he holds out his hand. “Just some light reading,” you joke as you take his hand.

“...”

You really can’t just sit there in silence for an hour holding his hand. “Where’d you get those slippers?” you ask suddenly.

He blinks slowly while looking down. “Lilia gave them to me for my birthday last year. He said a king shouldn’t walk around barefoot.”

Very reasonable. “They’re cute.”

“Thank you. Would you like a pair?”

“Um, sure.” His hand is surprisingly comfortable to hold.

He nods. “I will ask Lilia to order once he returns.”

“...”

You glance at your discarded book. “Do you mind if I read?” You aren’t sure how she was able to sit for an hour staring off into space. This is too weird!

He shakes his head. “Go ahead.”

Grabbing the book with your free hand, you adjust your position and place it on your lap. As you return to reading, you can almost forget Malleus is next to you. Almost. A few times you can feel his intense stare, but when you look back, he’s looking at the far wall.

You’re only a few chapters in when he clears his throat. Looking up, he opens his mouth, but then closes it. “Yes?” You wait patiently for him to gather his words.

“The book mentioned the war with the old fae, but it’s wrong,” he informs you after a pause.

“It is?” You glance down at the date. “This took place almost a thousand years ago. Don’t tell me you were there?” Fae are long lived creatures, but you don’t think Malleus is that old.

He shakes his head. “No. Lilia would sometimes tell me stories from when he was in the army. I remember everything he said clearly. The war did not start the way the book states. Though I assume the author could only speculate since most don’t know the truth.”

“How did it start?” You lean closer, interested to hear what he has to say.

“Well…”

---

“...and then everything went up in flames.”

“No!” Eyes widen as your mouth falls open.

“Unfortunately, yes. I hate to admit it, but my control on my flames was not that good.” He sighs, covering his face with his free hand.

Chuckling, you give his hand an involuntary squeeze. “You were young. It’s not like you meant to set everything on fire.”

“That’s true, but for a long time I wasn’t allowed to do anything related to fire.” His lips quirk upward while you try and fail to cover your laughter.

“I-I’m not laughing at you. I just had an image of a smaller version of you.” Your shoulders shake. “I’d love to see a picture of when you were younger.” You can just see a small Malleus pouting while being told he’s not allowed to use his flames.

“I believe there’s a few portraits that were done when I was younger. They’ve been put away, but they should be in the royal storehouse,” he says thoughtfully.

Having calmed down, you shake your head. “Too bad there’s no candid photos of you…”

“Hmm?” He peers at you. “Is seeing a younger version of myself really that interesting?”

You flash him a quick smile. “Of course. Seeing a mini version of you would be so interesting. I’m sure you were very cute,” you tease.

He doesn’t seem to know how to take your comment. Staring at you blankly, his hold on your hand tightens slightly for a second. “Cute?”

“Well, I mean you look…you look, um, nice now. So it’s easy to assume you’d be a cute kid.” Now you’re starting to feel a bit embarrassed.

“I see… So that means you were also cute as a child,” he says in all seriousness.

Did he just give a compliment? You’re unsure what to say. Eyes darting around the room, you clear your throat. “Right. I think we’ve gone over time.” You immediately release his hand.

Malleus straightens up. “I’m sorry.”

He almost looks hurt. You quickly wave off his worry. “No need to apologize! I shouldn’t keep you.”

Standing, you follow Malleus to the door. You catch a glimpse of his dark room. “Good night, your majesty.”

“Good night…” He glances back as the door closes. You turn the lock in place with a click.

Heading to bed, you lay there surrounded by many pillows. A feeling of loneliness settles deep in your chest. You wonder how Idia and everyone else has taken the news of your death.

---

You let out a cough as dust billows out from the curtains. The once gloomy study at least looks a little better with natural light. The queen has her own study across from Malleus’s, but she never used it. It overlooks the garden below. You decided it would be a good place for you to work. And having so many books in your bedroom is starting to be a little too much.

“I do apologize for the dust, your highness. If you want, I can fetch someone to do a quick clean,” Diablo offers.

Wiping a finger along the desk, you note the layer of dust. “I think that would be for the best. While someone cleans up here, I’m going to gather the materials from my room.” The butler bows before leaving.

Leaving the study door open, you go back to your room. Gathering all the books and papers into a stack, you eye the leaning tower. You could make a few trips to ensure nothing will fall. But the less trips you have to make, the quicker you can get down to business.

Carrying the precarious tower of books while tucking the papers under one arm, you walk slowly down the hall. A few maids stop and offer to help, but you wave them off. You’re fairly certain you can handle this.

You’re nearly there when the papers from under your arm slip out. Narrowing your eyes, you shift the balance of the books to one hand. Slowly squatting, you reach out your free hand to try and pick up the papers while keeping an eye on the stack.

“Come on…” Your fingers brush against the papers. “There!” And the tower of books wobbles dangerously. “Don’t you dare…” Unfortunately the books do not listen and the stack tilts over.

But before they can fall, they start to float. Staring at the sight, the rest fly out of your hand. Realizing now that you’re not alone, you finally notice Malleus standing outside his study. He waves his hands and the books fly over to him. They stack neatly while floating at his side.

He gestures to the books. “It seemed that you needed help.”

Picking up the papers, you sigh. “Thank you. I thought I could make it…”

He follows you into the study. “You’ve decided to use the office,” he mumbles aloud. He sets the books on the now clean desk.

“I thought it would be better than my bedroom. And the view is nice,” you explain with a chuckle. “Since you’re across the way, feel free to visit.”

Malleus takes in the nearly empty room. Since the queen had never used it, there were no personal items. He turns back to you. “Do you want to write up the proposal for the Queendom of Roses?”

You owlishly blink. “M-me?”

“Yes. You are the one who came up with the idea. It would only be appropriate for you to draw up the proposal.”

Sure you had all her memories of how to be a proper queen. But she had never done any of her duties. Instead they were all dumped on Mallues. From her memories, he never said a word. He left the queen alone to do what she wanted.

Nervously licking your lips, you slowly nod. “I’ll try my best…”

“I can look over it once you're done,” he offers.

“Okay… Right, let me just start working on this.” Scrambling around your desk, you start shuffling through the papers. Malleus leaves you to your work.

---

Pouring through books on treaties and negotiations, you attempt to draft up a proposal. Diablo provides you with a few old proposals that were made back in the day. You also try to keep in mind the etiquette the Queendom of Roses has. They have a lot of rules; eight-hundred and ten to be exact.

If you want the proposal to be accepted, you need to ensure you’re following all their rules as well. It’s honestly ridiculous, but you’re determined to get this done right. If you can do this and show Malleus you’re capable, it’s bound to make you more favorable in his eyes. All you need is for him to think of you favorably by the time the protagonist shows up.

You crumble up another sheet of paper and toss it on the floor. The proposal writing isn’t going very well. Letting out a deep, frustrated sigh, you set down your pen. “Diablo, what time is it?”

“It’s nearly five, your highness,” he answers right away. You hear him snap the cover of his pocket watch closed. He comes in and out of your office offering tea and snacks. “Perhaps, it’s time you take a break,” he advises.

Groaning, you stand up. “Fine!” You probably sound like a child, but you wanted to get this done as soon as possible. However, you’ve barely made a dent.

“Might I suggest a walk in the garden to clear your head?” He bows. “The weather is lovely and some sun will do you good, your highness.”

Following his advice, you head out to the garden. It really is a beautiful place. Inhaling deeply, you feel some tension leave your body. “Mhmm! You’re right, Diablo. I needed this.”

The old butler bows. “I’m glad my suggestion is helping.”

You continue your leisurely walk through the gardens. There’s still something bothering you about this marriage. Your country is much smaller and weaker compared to Briar Valley. In regards to value, Briar Valley got the short end of the deal. And based on what you remember in the book, Malleus had no feelings for the queen. His one true love would be the protagonist. So why on earth did he agree to the marriage in the first place? The author never explained it.

“Your highness?” Diablo’s voice brings you out of your thoughts.

“Hmm?” He gestures to Malleus, who had at some point shown up. “Oh! Hello, your majesty.”

Malleus looks surprised to see you. “I did not expect to see you here.”

Right, because the queen usually spent her days locked in her room. “I just needed some air. I’ve been working on the proposal but haven’t had much luck.”

He nods. “I see.” You watch as his eyes dull and his face falls back into a stoic expression. The queen’s unique magic is still in effect. “If you need help, I’m sure there are some old proposals Diablo can find for you to use as samples.”

“He’s already done that. I think I just need more time to wrap my head around it.” You can only hope the unique magic effects will wear off eventually. “What brings you out here?”

Mallues holds up a watering can. “I wanted to tend to the roses.” You realize now that he’s actually dressed down. “I know we have the gardeners to take care of everything, but I do like to tend to the roses once and awhile,” he continues. “I haven’t felt up to the task recently, but today seems like a nice day.”

The image of the regal king of Briar Valley taking care of flowers pops into your head unbidden. It’s actually quite a heart warming image. “I didn’t realize you had a green thumb,” you joke. He really doesn’t seem the type to get down and dirty.

Head tilting slightly, he regards you coolly. “There’s a lot of things I like to do. I guess we just haven’t had much time to learn about each other.” There’s no maliciousness in his words, but it still hurts. And even though you know it’s not your fault, you still feel a bit bad.

“I guess we’ve been busy…” you respond lamely. Sighing, you look over to Diablo, but he’s busy minding his own business. “Do you mind if I…if I help?”

“If you want to.” He hands you the watering can. “I’ll do some pruning over there. You can start watering them over in that area.” He’s all business as he directs you.

Despite not being dressed properly for garden work, you don’t comment. Watering plants is fairly easy compared to pruning. As you silently water the plants, you watch Mallues from the corner of your eye. He’s laser focused as he works quickly and efficiently. He’s obviously done this a lot.

By the time you're done, you're sweating, dirty and exhausted. Your clothes are smeared with dirt from the times you leaned a bit too close. Wiping your forehead with the back of your hand, you can feel the fatigue in your body. The queen never did hard work, and you can tell just by how raw your hands feel. Gripping the watering can so much had caused the skin to blister and break.

“Your highness, I believe it would be best to go inside and rest,” Diablo called. The old butler had hovered around you with concern, but you had waved him off. You were determined to get this done without any help. Anything to get on Malleus’s good side.

You can feel the sweat clinging to you like a second skin. “I think you’re right…” you huff. The sun continues to shine down rather harshly as you peer up. “I think I need a bath,” you mumble.

Swaying as you walk, you stumble a few times. Diablo is by your side immediately. “Your highness!”

“Damn this body,” you mutter. Your vision is blurry as Diablo’s voice fades in and out. “I need a nap, Diab-” Then everything goes black.

---

When you wake, your body no longer feels like lead. You sit up in bed. Someone had changed you out of your clothes and into something clean. Panic settles in unbidden at the thought of someone seeing your - the queen’s - back. It’s something she wanted to keep hidden from everyone. Even if she’s no longer in the body, her emotions still linger. Some are stronger than others. This particular topic is a sensitive one.

“You’re awake, your highness.” Diablo stands from his seat in the corner of your room. Your head whips around in his direction.

“Who changed me?” you ask, not bothering to beat around the bush.

Standing at your bedside, he bows. “I did.”

The silence stretches on. Then, “Did you…?”

“I did not see anything, your highness,” he responds smoothly.

Your body relaxes. “Okay.”

Standing up straight, he adjusts his jacket. “Your highness, if you ever wish to talk, know that I am here. Whatever you say to me remains confidential. From everyone.”

A small smile forms on your lips. “Thank you, Diablo.”

Diablo nods. “His majesty wanted to know once you woke up. I will get him.” Giving one last bow, he leaves your room. After a few minutes, Malleus sweeps into the room and to your side.

He suddenly drops down on one knee and bows his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Pl-please stand, your majesty!” You wave your hands around uselessly.

Looking up, there’s something different in his gaze. “I should have realized you aren’t used to working outside like that. Instead of watching out for you like a good husband, I ignored you. Please forgive me.”

Reaching over, you try to push his shoulders to stand, but he does not budge. “Your majesty, I am fine. It’s partially my fault as well. I shouldn’t have pushed myself when I knew I needed rest.” Hands falling on your lap, you sigh. “Please stand, Malleus.”

That seems to have an effect. He slowly stands up. “Still, I should have checked in on you. I promise this won’t happen again.”

Patting the bed, you gesture for him to sit. He perches himself precariously on the edge. “I don’t mind helping with the roses. I want to spend more time with you doing things like this,” you tell him. “You’re right that we barely spend time together, so I’d like to remedy that.” You take his hand in your own.

He’s silent as he stares at your connected hands. Then, “I’d like that as well.”

There’s a comfortable silence between you two. Holding his hand feels comfortable. And dear you say his hand feels safe? It’s a strange feeling but not unwelcome. You feel closer to him now.

“What do you want to do?” he asks suddenly.

You manage to pull your gaze from your interlocked hands. “What?”

He runs his thumb over your knuckles absentmindedly. “You said you want to spend more time together. What did you want to do?”

“Right now?” He nods. “Uh…I don’t think my body can do much.” You look around before your eyes fall on a stack of books. “I was planning on reading a few of Briar Valley’s folklores. Do you want to read together?” It’s rather boring but you really don’t want to move.

Malleus gets up to grab the books. You scoot over to make room for him. He hesitates. “Come on. I promise I won’t bite.”

Sitting on the bed while propped up against the headboard, he hands you the books. “Lilia has read these to me before. But it’s been a long time,” he comments.

“It’ll be a refresher for you and something new for me.” Sharing the book between you two, you flip open to the first story. “Once upon a time…”

---

As promised, you spend a little more time with Malleus. You don’t do anything too exciting like little walks through the garden or reading together. The latter he seems to enjoy a lot. Sometimes he would pop into your office just to check-in. He even starts showing up for breakfast and dinner.

Honestly, it felt strange at first seeing him so often, but you quickly got used to it. And it’s nice to be able to talk with someone else besides Diablo.

“Diablo, where is Malleus?” you ask, setting down your pen. Stretching, your body feels stiff from sitting so long.

“He’s on the training grounds.” Taking the proposal in hand, you leave your office. “Master Lilia has returned with knights Silver and Sebek.”

You pause in your walk. Brief, blurry images of these three people emerge from the queen’s memories. It seems that she didn’t have many memories of these three. “Returned from?”

“They went on a mission in regards to the Queendom of Roses,” Diablo explains. “Since a possible war with them has been called off, there is no need for master Lilia to continue. I’m sure Sebek is thrilled to be back at his highness’s side.” Diablo chuckles while shaking his head.

Continuing your walk to the training grounds, you wonder what they’re like. Since the queen didn’t have any interactions with them, you’re going to meet them for the first time. From the brief information she had, the two knights are meant to protect Malleus. Master Lilia was Malleus’s caretaker from when he was a baby.

As you come to the outdoor training grounds, you can hear the murmur of voices. Malleus stands with the three Diablo mentioned. They seem to be having a good time as he even cracks a smile. At least the queen’s magic is weakening.

Sensing your presence, Malleus turns to you. His eyes immediately fall on the paper in your hands. “Have you finished the proposal?”

“Yup. I wanted you to check it.” Holding out the paper, he starts reading. You notice the other three are staring at you. “Hello…”

Silver and Sebek bow. “Your highness,” they say in unison.

Lilia’s gaze darts between you and Malleus. He smiles slyly. “It’s nice to see you two talking and getting along,” he says aloud.

“Hmm…” Malleus makes a noncommittal noise as he finishes reading the proposal. “It’s not bad. There are a few things I believe you can change, but it’s a good proposal overall. I’ll leave the edits in your office tomorrow.”

If there weren’t people around, you would've patted yourself on the back. “Thank you, Malleus!”

“Hrrk?!” Sebek makes a noise in the back of his throat.

You glance over at him as he tries to compose himself. Continuing, “I also think that once we send the proposal, we should do it the way the Queendom of Roses would.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” Malleus nods thoughtfully. “What are their customs?”

Ticking off the rules on your fingers, “We need to send two messengers on white horses. Each messenger should wear a red rose on their lapel. It must be before or after noon time as the queen typically takes tea then.” Your nose scrunches as you recall all the rules you read.

“They’re rules are unusual,” Malleus murmurs. “But I’m sure this will help better our stance with the queen of hearts.”

“That’s what I hope. Anyways, I’m going to finish up some of the other paperwork. I’ll see you for dinner?” You usually don’t ask since he’s been joining you for breakfast and dinner as of late. However, you want him to catch up with everyone.

Smiling, he nods. “Of course.”

Giving him a wave, you and Diablo return to your study. You can feel the other three staring the entire time.

---

Once you disappear Lilia leans in close to Malleus. “It seems that the queen has finally come out of her frozen shell, hmm?”

“Sh-she called you by your first name…” Sebek mutters, bewildered.

“We’ve been getting to know each other,” the dragon king replies. He has a faint smile on his face as he stares off into the direction you went.

The three exchange looks. Silver clears his throat. “I’m glad to see you two are getting closer. And you seem more yourself, your majesty.”

Hand under his chin, he hums thoughtfully. “Now that you mention it, I do feel…lighter.”

“Hoho, to be young~!” Lilia teases.

Shaking his head, Malleus's smile falls into a serious expression. “Did you find anything?” Down to business. His eye flash green as he casts a silencing spell around them.

All three straighten up. Lilia speaks first. “Unfortunately, we do have some bad news about the queen’s parents. It’s too bad seeing as you two are getting along…” He sighs.

“Go on.” Malleus is stone faced as Lilia tells him the news.

#twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twisted wonderland imagines #malleus draconia #twst malleus #malleus draconia x f!reader #malleus x f!reader #reader insert #scenario

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