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#and so much of Jean's trauma to get through
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Chatterbox (M, cold, 'drabble')
A little prompt-based fluff for you guys :) Reed and Greyson go out to dinner, but Reed realizes something is up when Greyson won't shut tf up lol. I'm loving writing this relationship, I can't lie, so sorry if it's too much Reed and Greyson lately - I'll get back to my other guys soon!
1.6K words (just a tiny lil blip of a story haha) CW: Male snz, coughing, fever, contagion mention. Hope you like it :)
Chatterbox
Reed looked down at his phone as he waited on Greyson, rereading the stream-of-consciousness texts his boyfriend had sent throughout the day.
Greyson
1:42PM
sooo pumped for tonight bb :)
1:56PM
should I wear a suit…? I know it’s a new spot but the website definitely reads ‘fine dining’, like fine-er than most of my clothes know how to be...
2:24PM
I think I’ll do dark jeans & a black button up. johnny cash style. cant go wrong w that. hahah.
3:17PM
I know ur working still but im just really excited to see you:):)
It was cute – borderline adorable – how nervous Greyson seemed for their dates, even after almost a year of the two of them being together. Reed had, of course, answered Greyson’s plethora texts throughout the day, but had tried to keep himself subdued so he wouldn’t give away his hand; tonight, he was going to ask Greyson to move in with him.
He knew it was a bit of a long time coming, but Reed was really trying to keep from scaring Greyson off by doing anything too quickly. His boyfriend certainly had a bit of past-relationship trauma that Reed tried valiantly to navigate; it was hard to figure out what the right time to do anything was. Sometimes, he wasn’t sure there was ever going to be a right time to push their relationship to the next level. But things had been good lately; like, really good. Tonight felt… right.
Greyson’s presence was palpable before Reed even saw him blow through the door. He looked up from his phone and clocked his boyfriend, standing out side the restaurant with his elbow locked over his face; Reed cocked his head a bit, confused. Was he… coughing?
The chef, clad in the Johnny-Cash-getup he’d promised, shook himself out before pushing the door to the restaurant open. He pawed at his nose with the back of his hand while asking the hostess to point Reed out – she gestured towards their table, and Greyson smiled when the two of them locked eyes. Reed waved, smiling back. Something was certainly… off.
“Sorry I’m late, baby,” Greyson said, kissing the top of Reed’s head before sitting across from him. “The fuckin’ train was running late again.”
“I’ve told you a million times I’ll come pick you up for dates,” Reed said, squeezing Greyson’s hand across the table. “You don’t always have to take the train.”
Greyson shrugged, smiled a little loopily. “I like the train,” he said, picking up his menu and squinting at the small font. “Lots of time to think. I’ve come up with my best dishes on the subway, I’m pretty sure; you remember that tart I made for the writer’s dinner, the one where we saw each other for the second time? Came up with that on the train. I was sitting next to this girl, probably a student, and she was eating one of those little egg tarts, the ones from the Japanese bakeries? I thought, damn I bet a root vegetable in one of those would fuckin’ slay – spoiler alert, it so did. Where would I have come up with that if not for the train? Plus, it’s one of the most sustainable ways to travel. I get my good karma for not actively killing the environment in. Win-win. What’re we eat – HTSHH! NXTSHH!” Greyson’s explosion of word vomit was very suddenly cut off to stifle two painful-sounding sneezes into the back of his hand.
Reed blinked for what was maybe the first time since his boyfriend sat down. “...bless,” he said after a beat. Greyson nodded, sniffled a little, and picked the menu back up.
“What’s this place’s thing anyway?” Greyson continued, flipping the menu over to look at drinks. “I can’t seem to figure it out; are they Italian? Mediterranean? Fine dining? Just high-end? No tasting menu, but prices are high enough to warrant one. Wine list reads very Italian, but there are like three dishes with hummus on them? I’m half-expecting to be served babaganoush bolognese. Which… maybe would work? Actually, eggplant, tomato sauce… I could see it working. You never know. Can’t judge a book by its menu, right? What’re you drinking? Want to get a bot -?”
This second monologue was cut short when Reed reached across the table to place a gentle hand on Greyson’s face. Just as he expected: hot.
“Babe,” Reed said gently, taking his hand back, “you’re burning up.”
The chef cast his glance down, embarrassed. “You weren’t supposed to figure that out till after dinner,” he muttered. Reed laughed.
“Seriously? You had to know I’d figure something was up. You’ve been monologing since the moment you sat down. Have you been sick all day? You should’ve told me, honey. How much cough medicine did you take before you showed up here?”
Greyson looked up at Reed and gave him a little half-smile. “Pretty sure I downed half a bottle of Robutusssin, not gonna liiii – hh! HhNXTSHH-ue! Huh-TSHH-ue!” Once again, Greyson attempted to stifle, to no avail. He allowed himself two painful little coughs before righting himself again.
“Bless you,” Reed said again. “I wish you would just sneeze normal, that always sounds so painful.”
“We’re in a restaurant,” Greyson said, a huskiness beginning to creep in to his voice. “That’s so gross.”
Reed rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Who cares? No one’s looking at us. They’re too busy with their many, many hummuses.”
A laugh bubbled out of Greyson, and with it came a flurry of congested coughs he directed into the sleeve of his shirt. “Don’t mbake me laugh,” he muttered, taking a drink of water. “You’re gonna get us kicked out.”
“Good,” Reed said, flagging the waiter. “I’m so sorry,” he said when the young, well-dressed server came to their table, “something’s come up and we’re going to have to go.” He handed the kid a fifty. “Thank you for your help.”
The server nodded, said thank you to Reed, and went to grab the two men’s jackets. Greyson raised an eyebrow, confused. “What’re you doing?”
“Taking you home,” Reed said. “You need tea and soup, not…” he glanced back down at the menu, “fattoush flatbread.” Greyson visibly deflated.
“I wanted to spend the evening with you,” he said, his voice subdued. “I’m sorry. I should’ve called and canceled, I just… I mbiss you when we don’t see each other all week. You’re always busy, I’mb always busy, it just fucking sucks. I don’t even know how I got fucking sick… oh wait, yes I do. Elijah had a cold last week – was that last week? Did I tell you that? I can’t remember. I think the servers gave it to him. Fuckin’ servers, I’ve never met a group of people who get sick mbore than theehh – huh! Fuck – HUHETSHHH-ue! Huh-! HhITSZZZCH-ue!” Greyson folded in half, his torso practically beneath the table in an attempt to keep the entire restaurant from hearing him. It was, of course, at that moment that the server returned with their coats. Reed took them silently, and stood to gather his boyfriend, who slowly unfurled himself from his own lap.
“Bless you,” he said, gently helping Greyson to his feet and slipping his coat over his shoulders. He lead the two of them past the host stand and onto the sidewalk, where he turned Greyson to face him.
“First of all,” he said, sweeping Greyson’s hair out of his eyes and caressing his cheek, “I know a subset of people who get sick more than servers, and it’s chefs. You and all your chef buddies are pestilence incarnate because you work nine hundred hours a week.” This prompted a little laugh from Greyson. Perfect, thought Reed. Break the tension.
“Secondly, yes, you did tell me that Elijah was sick, and I told you, and I quote, ‘Don’t get too close, I know you two love to share a cold’, but I know you don’t like to listen to authority, so not sure what I expected.” Another laugh. Greyson pushed his hair back, rubbed his nose, and pulled Reed in to hug him. Reed continued from this spot, pressed into Greyson’s shoulder.
“And thirdly,” he said, “I miss you too. All the time. Which is why I asked you out tonight.” He pulled away, reached into his pocket, and dropped a key into Greyson’s palm. “I don’t want to miss you anymore. I don’t want you to have to take the train from Brooklyn every single night, I don’t want us to hang out once a week, I don’t want to drop you at your apartment to take care of yourself. I want to see you when I wake up every morning. I want to hear you sneak in at three AM after you and Matt go clubbing. I want to take care of you, at home, when you’re sick.” Reed smiled, a little embarrassed, as Greyson stared at the key. “Move in with me,” Reed said. “Please.”
Greyson’s mouth opened, then shut without words a couple of times before he looked Reed in the eyes. “Yes,” he said, nodding. “Okay. Yes. Yes, please.”
Reed felt a smile bloom on his face, huge, goofy, unashamed. He took Greyson’s face in his hands and planted a kiss on his lips. Greyson held his boyfriend by the waist, then picked him up to spin him around. “I love you,” Greyson muttered into Reed’s mouth.
“I love you more,” Reed said, smiling. Greyson turned away then, suddenly to -
“HRRSHH-ue! HhhITSHZZCH-ue!” he sneezed away from his boyfriend, which prompted a laugh from Reed.
“Probably too late for that nicety,” Reed joked, elbowing Greyson playfully. The chef huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes.
“I figured sneezing directly into your face would probably kill the moment,” he said, sniffling. “But I’ll go ahead and just do it next time.”
“Oh, shut up,” Reed laughed, kissing Greyson again. “C’mon. Let’s get you home and in bed. Sickie.”
Greyson smiled a little. “Yeah,” he said, looping his arm into Reed’s. “Let’s go home.”
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hey I know you said you were thinking about posting around April
Do you have a date in mind?
if not it’s perfectly ok we’ll be waiting as long as you need for the sun and moon ☺️
ahhh, anon! This is a loaded question, lol, not that you would know that. But here is the conclusion that I have come to, after many, many shifts, moves, outlining rounds, trial and error, etc.
I have unfortunately decided that I have enough material for two fics.
In some ways, it was a little silly of me to think I could squeeze Jerejean's POV all into one fic when I had the material of both DON & DBD to work with. But here we are. After cutting three chapters altogether (THREE anon!!) and doing my best to cut the other chapters ruthlessly, I'm still looking at about 60K words, unfinished, and I haven't even touched DBD's timeline yet.
So, although I reserve the right to change my mind, I've decided instead of publishing Once In a Blue Moon, I will first be uploading Place in the Sun - a fic focusing on Jerejean's relationship through their time at USC. And yes, my goal is still to publish it in April. (Wish me luck, anon 😭😭)
Now I have to be clear since the timing is sensitive. For better or worse, I have established Jeremy's and Jean's characters in this AU with the limited canon information I had before TSC. Once TSC is published, these characters will likely conflict with what Nora has decided, but I won't be changing them. Where canon fits into the plan, I'll look to include, but the family members I've made up for them, friends, agents, personality quirks, etc., etc., I'm going to keep true to the AU I've built. It is what it is at this point, and though I feel somewhat awkward about it since I've tried to keep their characters close to canon, I'm very proud and happy with the A Falling Star series. I'd like to finish Kerejean's stories and do them justice as I've always planned to.
This in no way diminishes my excitement for TSC - I'm beyond thrilled that Nora has decided to give us canon Jean, Jeremy, and all the Trojans. It's going to be amazing and devastating and everything we've hoped for, I'm sure. But I have to be fair to the fic I've created as well.
So....there we have it, anon. Hope that answers your question. 😅
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andthebeanstalk · 1 year
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WHAT UP THE CONFLATION OF SUFFERING WITH LOVE IS EXTREMELY QUESTIONABLE
Tags on this post, by @saint-ambrosef and @mariposasmonarch, isolated here because they accidentally hit on EXACTLY what I think brought about my original line of thinking:
#of course christ dying wasn't “necessary” #but damn if it isnt the most visible and obvious way to show someone that you love them #a person snapping their fingers and giving you everything you wanted isn't nearly as impactful as that person willingly enduring personal #suffering in order to give it to you #thats what we mean when we say “christ died for us” #not because he strictly had to but because he wanted to show us just how far his love goes #we puny humans can know in our lowest moments that god incarnated himself to be brutally murdered #just to make his “i love you” absolutely clear #its not a guilt trip...it's reassurance in its purest form #<- YES #and if this isn’t the most beautiful and touching expression of True Love #the Selfless Love #Love which is Willing the Good for the other for no reason but just that
I disagree with this. All of it. I genuinely think that dying for someone is a shitty and stupid gift, especially when you didn't need to do it and it provides them with no tangible benefit. I think this is a dangerous and irresponsible thing to teach your children.
Martyrdom and suffering are not inherent expressions of love.
I believe in good for others for the sake of good, and kindness for the sake of kindness. But what always throws me for a loop is the Christian idea that suffering on its own is a form of good. I disagree. I disagree with my whole heart.
As a child, I was taught that the best thing I could be is Christlike. And I was Not Okay.
I lived my life ready to set myself on fire to prevent someone else from feeling a chill, and this impulse still follows me over a decade after I lost my faith. (There were other factors also, but religion played a big role in this attitude.)
It has been devastating to my health, nearly to the point of death on multiple occasions. The idea that the best and purest form of love is to suffer - It's gross. I think it's gross. I don't feel loved; I feel like if someone tortured themselves to death and then I was told to rejoice, for they did it all for me! And I'm like... oh. I didn't... ask for that?
I've lived my entire adult life without proper healthcare. I would argue that someone snapping their fingers and giving me everything I ever wanted would actually be a LOT better for me than if they suffered and died. Like, magnitudes better.
I believe that the purest form of love is to LIVE for another person.
I've done that. I do that. I've seen people suffer pain worse than death and still not die just because they loved me. And I felt loved not because they were suffering but because they were doing whatever it took to live by my side and to live in happiness.
Sacrifice is a part of love, but it is not inherently loving. It has to have a reason or it is just pure performative loss, which actually does feel like a guilt trip!
I just-- I've gotten a ton of completely different dogmatic answers today, but to me, these tags are what strikes at the heart of it all.
The idea that we need to place every single other living thing before ourselves even and perhaps especially to the point of self-destruction.
For an example, in the Catholic church, most of the Saints are martyrs! And they were taught to us like action heroes with superpowers and everything! My little sister with their childhood OCD collected cards of saints like they were Pokemon cards! Which is really cute until you consider that they were a compulsive child idolizing a pantheon of people whose defining trait was brutal self-sacrificial death. They were one of the most anxious children I've ever met.
For me, as an autistic kid, the idea that suffering was somehow inherently good helped me to endure a lot more extreme sensory pain than I otherwise would have. I was terribly proud of my ability to endure pain. But now as an adult with crippling cPTSD, I can't help but notice that none of those sacrifices I made actually helped anyone!
I don't personally believe that gods are real. But if I did, I think I'd be awfully angry at the Christian god for killing himself and having the nerve to say it was for me.
I've literally had a loved one who believed they were a burden offer to kill themselves for me. It was a heinous idea for a gift, and I told them so. They were terribly disappointed when I chose the other, much more difficult and beautiful option, which was to live for each other. Live and grow and love in the light. To plant gardens for each other and cook them into meals. To build and nurture and know. THAT is the most beautiful and sure form of love. I will accept no substitutes.
I hope someday someone shows you love in a way that feels more beautiful to you than crucifixion - literal or metaphysical. You deserve love that isn't defined by pain.
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torgawl · 1 year
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slightly disappointed - just slightly - that they didn't include fischl in the windblume event because she would fit the legend/fairytale category of the charade so much?!
#how did they not remember the person that actually lives in one?#logically it would make sense okay 😂#i hope we get to see the other mondstadt characters even for a second at the end#jean barbara fischl kaeya diona and diluc the excluded ones ✌️#like i don't care about timmaeus and his crush sorry give me characters i care about (mona was so real for interrupting him yes queen <3)#okay sorry timmaeus i hope you succeed in romancing her 😔#i think you're a great addition to the synthesis thingie when i need to make materials the game wouldn't be the same without you 😔#on another note!!! i love when genshin's events or quests are like therapy sessions like yes thanks for teaching us about anxiety and#struggles with self identity and how sharing our problems with others isn't a burden and how being vulnerable will allow us to create#meaningful connections and relate to others around us that only through connection and being able to see other people we are able to#fight the feeling of alienation we had in the first place and gain a new found confidence!!! like yes. trauma holds us back and can#influence the way we interact with others around us and follow us for so much time but we can also thrive regardless!!!!#genshin lore is so good but also the way this game helps us find peace regarding so many things we all struggle with is beautiful methinks#a lot of the struggles the characters face in the game are related to the fantasy world their inserted to sure but they're also still#incredibly relatable to the most common person if we strip down that fantasy layer#i think it's about being seen and understood feeling less lonely and also seeing others through less of a 1st person lense about finding#beauty and significante in diversity#but anyways rant over#i'm having fun with windblume and i love events like this where we just get to revisit characters and see them have a good time with each#other!!! it's so comforting plus mondstadt looks so pretty
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I’m just gonna write this here because it’s been living rent free in my mind for..*does the math* eight years. Gross eight years, I’m fucking old. Anyway, this happened when I was at the ripe age of 16. That time where your insecurities are at an all time high and everything sucks and you’re pretty sure no one will ever love you. 
For some reason, I had gotten this burst of confidence and thought: “hell yeah, I think I’ll wear a bikini for the first time this summer”. I had my own job and ordered this real cute floral one online. I also ordered a shirt I liked and waited with bated breath for my package to arrive. It came in a box, I brought it home, my mom asked “Hey, what did you get?” 
I wasn’t quite ready for everyone to know about my confidence boost so I just said “A shirt”, to which she replied “There’s no way only a shirt came in that box, you’re lying. Tell me now”. My my, quite some aggression right of the bat. My fear and anxiety skyrockets and I tell her I got a bathing suit. Well she wants to see it…great. So I show it to her…she wants me to put it on…awesome. 
This new found confidence of mine has plummeted within seconds as I put on the suit. Suddenly it’s too tight, I’m sucking in my gut, and I put on a pair of shorts to maybe hide my shame. 
“I’ll wear these shorts with it,” I tell her. She’s just…staring at me. There’s clear disgust I’m sure. I can see it in her eyes. It’s taking everything in me not to cry. She tells my sister to hand her the iPad so “I can take pictures so you can see what you look like”
She makes me turn around, gets all my bad angles. At this point I’m hoping to drop dead soon. 
After she finishes clicking away, she hands me the iPad and says “Now go look at yourself”. I shamefully rush to my room and close the door. I don’t need to look at the pictures because I already know I’m a fat, ugly pathetic mess. So once I stop crying enough to where I can breathe, what else is there to do except cut the emotions away? Cut them out. Bleed them out. Make everything go away with thin lines on my thighs. 
I’ve never spoken of this with my mom. Never brought up this event since it’s happened. In her mind, she’s justified because I lied to her so…this was an apt punishment I guess. It’s something that’s stuck with me for years. How could it not? It’s one of those defining moments you look back on when you realize why your self confidence is so fucked up. Why you’re so critical over yourself. Even now, writing it out, all those emotions are running back and I’m hating myself again. 
Just gotta fight it. I need be to nicer to that 16 year old girl. I have to show her the kindness my mother didn’t. 
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steddieas-shegoes · 4 months
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AU where Steve has decent parents. They aren’t great, but they’re not bad. They show up for major things and tell him they love him, but they don’t understand him. They don’t get that he needs more than that.
So Steve’s nanny keeps in contact with him even after she’s let go because “Steve doesn’t need looking after” at the age of 10. She checks in with him all the time.
Ms. Munson is always bringing him a dish from her own dinner with her brother and son, making sure he has someone at the awards days at school, makes sure he has gifts at Christmas that he’ll actually like.
But she never invites him to her home and it doesn’t hit him until his senior year of high school that she’s Eddie Munson’s mom, that they live in the trailer park that he was never allowed to go to, that her brother must be Wayne, who took him fishing once when he got his heart broken by his first girlfriend.
He’s a different person now, but not to Eddie.
As time goes on, and he experiences more trauma than any single person should, and he gets Robin as a platonic soulmate, he realizes that Ms. Munson still shows up. His parents don’t bother much anymore, but she does.
And two days before spring break of ‘86, she sends Eddie to Steve’s house with a care package.
When Steve shuffles through the items, he nearly chokes on his own spit when he finds a bag of pre-rolled joints.
Eddie comes up with excuses, brushes it off as just a friendly gesture for someone his mom cares so much about.
But Steve won’t hear it. He asks him to stay and smoke one with him, take the edge off since he’s been dealing with midterms.
They get high on his back patio, talking and laughing late into the night, so late that Eddie almost worries he’ll have to go to school in his clothes from the day before.
Steve won’t hear it, offers his shower and his “most metal” clothes- his only black jeans and a plain white t-shirt with the sleeves cut off- and says he can sleep there for the couple of hours left before school.
Eddie wakes up to Steve making coffee and toast, using the jam his mom had included in the care package and a smile that made Eddie’s cynical heart flop in his chest.
Eddie didn’t think the next time he saw Steve would be when he was holding a broken bottle to his neck, terrified of everything and everyone, but the moment they had a second alone, Steve hugged him close.
“It’s a shit way to be welcomed into the group officially, but I’m glad you’re not alone.”
Steve and Eddie were inseparable while fighting Vecna, both of them insistent on protecting the kids.
When Steve managed to get Eddie to the motel the Munsons were staying in after El managed to get rid of Vecna, Ms. Munson was standing at the door with tears in her eyes.
“My boys.”
She patched them up, better than any doctor probably would have, giving them small kisses on the head when they winced in pain.
And eventually, she tucked them into one of the beds in the room, ignoring how they hadn’t stopped holding hands for the entire night.
She’d been hesitant to introduce them; Eddie, for all his talk of accepting people for who they are, struggled to accept how much she did for Steve, not understanding why he may need it.
But it seemed like she didn’t need to force anything. They found their way together in the end.
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d10nyx · 2 months
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don't hold your breath(nobody's home)
ft. leon kennedy x fem!reader
cw: 18+ content, dead dove, uncle-niece incest, non-con, loss of virginity, very minor blood description, forced alcohol consumption, alcoholism from leon ofc, reader gets slapped, age gap, guilt, one threat, fingering, p in v, non-consensual creampie, crying, idk leon feels entitled cause his brother sucks, reader hinted at having nice tits idk
a/n: sorry if this sucks ass... my motivation for writing has been non-existent w real life stuff n all the drama so... i feel like this is awful but here we are. title from razzmatazz by idkhbtfm... not proofread i'm sorry </3
word count: 1.9k words
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Leon knew he had a drinking problem. He just hadn't realised it had gotten this bad. He couldn't even get his dick up with viagra anymore. He frowns as he looks down at the brunette he was planning to fuck, tempted to try and just push it in soft.
He ends up just kicking her out to drown his sorrows. He wasn't dealing with this shit tonight, not when he was seeing his asshole brother tomorrow. Pretty wife, perfect kids. His job pays better than Leon's ever will, and he didn't need to undergo years of trauma. Lucky bastard.
Leon does what he does best that night and drinks enough whiskey so he can pass out without worrying about the nightmares coming to ruin his night. 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
He hasn't seen you in a good six years. You were still playing with dolls and shit when he last visited. Makes him feel stupid when he brings you a plushie as a gift. Clearly he forgot how time worked, cause he still expected you to be thirteen. You still hug him and say thank you, sweet as ever. When his brother said he'd be watching the house and looking after you, he didn't expect to see you so... grown. Too old to need a babysitter, really. Even if your parents are gonna be gone for a week.
He gulps as his hands settle on your hips, trying to prevent you from pressing against his hardening cock. Down boy. At least his dick still works. It just took his college-aged niece to get it up. Doesn't help that you've got your tits smooshed against his chest.
Therapy was gonna be a doozy this week.
He could only pray that this doesn't turn into anything. The last thing he needed was his dick being the thing that got him thrown into prison for doing something stupid to you, no matter how cute that body of yours is. That's a new one, he thinks, mentally slapping himself for even thinking about touching you like that. He'd never do it, of course. That's sick, and he knows it. He's just so frustrated. And you're hot. A total babe. Somehow, you managed to get a better rack than your mom. Must be the Kennedy genes coming in. Leon's got tits for days.
He knew he had a drinking problem, but he never thought he'd lose himself this much. He never thought about hurting anyone. He's not a bad guy. It's just that every time he tried to be with someone, he just couldn't get his body to react the way he wanted. That's what the oxytocin was for, he thought, already thinking about taking a swig of whiskey from the flask in his pocket. If only that fucking stuff worked on him. The part of his brain that controlled his cock seemed to be permanently on vacation, and his wires clearly got crossed somewhere if he wants to fuck his own blood.
Whatever. He could get through a week alone with his niece without any trouble. He's faced worse monsters than the ones making themselves present in his mind right now. He'd keep his distance, and all would be okay.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
That didn't work. Of course it didn't. You were just as clingy with him as you were when you were a kid, following him around like a lost puppy. He's convinced he's clutching the glass of whiskey in his hand hard enough to shatter it as you curl up against his side. His cock is throbbing, and he seriously hopes you don't notice how the fabric of his jeans is getting a little strained.
You really need to stop with those tits. He's gonna lose it if they brush his arm one more time. He's not sure what it is about you, particularly, that has him acting like a teenage virgin again, but his self-control is wavering by the second. He hasn't paid a single second of attention to the movie he was meant to be watching to keep his mind off of you.
Fuck this.
He takes a swig of whiskey that drains half the liquid in his cup in one gulp. Liquid courage and all that. Maybe he'd drunk a little too much while he was here, ‘cause his brain clearly isn't working right. Not when he's pinning you to the couch, kissing your neck despite your protests.
“Leon… Leon, what're you doing?” You force out, small hands pressing at his chest as if you'd be able to knock him off. Cute. He'd fought creatures six times your size. You didn't stand a chance. 
He starts undressing you, and you start writhing and crying, hitting his chest with clenched fists. He swallows the lump that builds in his throat, wiping the tears that fall down your cheeks.
“Shh… it's okay, I'm… I'm gonna take care ‘f you.” He murmurs, his voice slightly slurred from how much he'd drunk. You cry even harder when he presses a finger into you, making the guilt rise up faster in him. That's not fair. He's being nice. God didn't bless him with much, but at least he gave him a fat cock. You should feel lucky he's prepping you. Not making him feel bad.
“Hey.” He warns, shoving another finger in just to shut you up. You finch when he scissors you open. Poor thing. “That's enough. One more complaint for you, and I'll just force myself in.”
Shit. Now he really does feel like a monster. He's not drunk enough to handle the pure terror on your face at his words. He fumbles on the coffee table with his free hand as he lazily pumps into you with the other. Glass? No. Bottle.
Maybe you need some, too. Get you nice and pliant so you'll take his dick without bitching. Not a bad idea. He twists the cap off with his teeth, gulping some of the liquid down himself. He takes another mouthful before leaning down to kiss you, spitting the liquid into the back of your throat. He keeps your mouth on yours even as you try to jerk away, making sure you swallow it.
You really are adorable as you start coughing and spluttering. Such a sweet thing, you probably hadn't even drunk before. He lifts the bottle to your mouth, pouring some more into your mouth before setting it down, covering your mouth. “Swallow.”
He starts thumbing at your clit as he fingers you, relishing in the ways your whimpers turn into soft moans, your hips bucking against his hand. He manages to coax an orgasm out of you with a few more touches, a big smile spreading across his face.
“There we go, sweetie. See, that wasn't so bad, was it?” He coos, unbuttoning his jeans. The sound of the zipper has your eyes widening in horror, and he tuts softly. “What're you giving me that look for? It's your turn to take care of me now.”
There goes the begging and pleading again. It has his brows pinching together as a frown tugs at his lips. You really are his brother's kid. So goddamn ungrateful. He just took care of you, and now you just want him to… what? Fist his dick in the guest room?
He smacks you so hard your head snaps to the side, your breaths coming out in short gasps. You look better like that, tears stinging your eyes but your body completely limp. He can see the fight draining out of your eyes.
“I was gonna be nice.” He mumbles, brows furrowing as he lines his tip up with your entrance, forcing himself inside in one thrust. He groans loudly, shuddering as your tight heat envelops him. His eyes look down, locked onto your cunt as he fucks into you with long strokes. He freezes when he notices blood. He's not sure if he's happy or disgusted that he's your first. No wonder you put up such a fight.
You keep weakly begging him to stop, but your pussy is gushing all over him. It's not his fault he can't stop – you're giving him the hottest look he's ever seen, and your puffy cunt is so fucking greedy for his cock, sucking him back in everytime he starts to pull out.
“S-sorry… I'm so sorry…” He grunts, picking up the pace of his thrusts, groaning at the sound of your punched out moans as he drives into you with as much force as he can muster. You almost sound like you're enjoying it, but you're still fucking crying and he can't take it. His heart hurts.
“Baby, please…” He whispers, squeezing his eyes shut so he doesn't have to see the betrayal on your face. His arms tremble as he holds himself up, sloppily fucking into you. “I'm sorry… just stop cryin’, please…”
Every time his hips smack the fat of your ass, you're moaning out a ‘please’. With his eyes shut, he can pretend you're begging for more. That you like this. That is, until you start saying ‘stop’. He winces, but the movement of his hips doesn't falter.
“Fuck, baby… please stop begging.” He pleads, throwing his head back as his tip kisses your cervix. He whimpers as it makes you tighten around him, angling his thrusts to hit that spot each time he fully sheaths himself inside of you.
“I-I can't stop…you feel so… fuck. So fucking good. M'so close.” He groans. He can't even find the strength to pull out anymore. He buries himself balls deep in your cunt, grinding himself into your tight heat.
“L-Leon… please.” You say weakly, chest heaving with heavy breaths as panic sets in, your hands pushing at his chest. “Y-you gotta pull out, you can't… you can't.”
“What?” He breathes out, cracking his eyes open to look at you again. He looks genuinely confused. Why would he ever pull out when you felt so good? He can't bring himself to. “Baby, no. I'm cumming inside of you. Can't pull out now.”
That seems to bring your fight back. You start struggling under him again, punching him with all your strength. Luckily, that's not a lot. Especially when you're sluggish from your first time drinking and getting fucked. It's Leon's lucky day.
“Shit, baby. Don't look at me like that.” Or do. He's gonna cum if you keep staring up at him with that wide-eyed expression. “No need to be so scared, princess. I just… shit. Can't help myself.”
Doesn't take longer than a minute after that for him to finish. He buries his face in your neck, whining as he cums. His cock kicks inside of you, the warmth of his release filling every inch of you. You start sobbing all over again, slumping weakly against the couch.
He lies on top of you, his weight pressing you down into the couch. He pets your hair like you're a doll, his fingers carding through your hair.
“I'm sorry, baby. Forgive me. I'll be so good. Do whatever you want. Didn't mean it.” He murmurs, kissing your cheek over and over as if he's trying to get you to relax. He keeps it up until you fall asleep, wrapping you up in his arms.
When you wake up in the morning, you're fully dressed in your bed. You almost think it's a dream until you feel the dull throbbing between your legs.
721 notes · View notes
rainylana · 7 days
Text
“Goodnight, Ed’s.”
Eddie Munson x female reader
summary: you’re stoned and drunk, so you suck eddie’s dick.
warnings: oral male receiving, language, smoking of weed, drinking.
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You loved late nights like this. Drunk, stoned and watching tv. Pizza boxes and Chinese food piled up on the counters. It was almost four in the morning, the living room was glowing with the illumination of the tv playing Poltergeist, a smoky steam and the smell of weed and booze strong and prominent.
You and Eddie were sat side by side, watching, giggling together, stoned out of your mind. You hadn’t said anything in hours, just enjoying the company of each other. You’d been through so much together. High school bullies, the trauma of both of your childhood’s. You had shared that with him, and he, you. Vecna. What you both had become after Vecna.
You shifted your neck and looked over to him, smiling softly. His eyes were dropping. He was getting tired. You lifted your arm and played with the back of his hair, twirling the curls and watching him relax under your touch. He closed his eyes and hummed, too tired to thank you.
You rubbed at his neck, scratched his skin lightly and circled the area behind his ears, giving him all the attention and affection you could give. You stifled your own yawn, leaning over and swooping his hair over to expose his neck.
You gave him a sweet, soft kiss behind his earlobe, scooting close so your legs touched his. You kissed and caressed his neck slowly and softly, moving up to his chin and back down. He groaned happily when you nibbled on his skin.
“Baby,” He barely opened his eyes, peeking over at you. “You know I’d love to, but I’m…so tired.” He fought off a yawn.
You pulled away, turning him toward you with a single finger under his chin. “Then let me do the work, darlin.” You pecked his lips with a wet sound, not so gracefully falling to the floor in a heap at his knees. You weren’t near as drunk as he was, but the effects of the marijuana had you dizzy and giddy, and more importantly, ready to suck his dick.
You struggled to take his belt and jeans off, and he was too out of it to be of any help. His hands fumbled with yours, and you slapped him away so you could do it yourself, eyes squinting in the poorly lit room. Once you got his belt undone, you pulled his pants down to his ankles, and his boxers were the next to go.
Once finished with removing his clothing, you sat up on your knees and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his thigh, then switching to the other. You could feel him watching you. You licked his skin with your tongue, the sound of someone screaming behind you on the tv. The light of the screen made him look angelic, eyes slouched and red rimmed, shoulders hunched over, cock hard and ready for you to suck dry.
You looked up at him. His arms were folded behind his head, leaning back with a small smirk on his face. “Well?” He asked.
You blushed at the deepness of his voice. It made your pussy throb. “Just waitin’ for you to ask me nicely, Ed’s.”
He pushed air out between his lips, rolling his head back till it hit the sofa. The couch had seen better days. It was covered in stains of all kinds. “Please, honey?”
You hummed happily, tossing your hair back and twirling your hands against him. “Sure, honey.”
You wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock, sucking and puckering so hard he nearly jumped clean off the couch. “Ah,” He whined, gripping the cushions beneath him. “Oh, baby,”
You took his length in your mouth, moving down his shaft until he hit the back of your throat. You wrapped your hand around the base, moving up and down slowly, puckering him with your lips.
Your other hand kept you held upright with his thigh, your head going up and down in a steady rhythm. He held your hair, wrapping your locks with his fist to guide you where he wanted. He sniffled, tilting his head to look down at you.
“So good to me, baby, god,” He whimpered, his thighs tensing underneath you. “That feels so good.”
You swirled your tongue against the prominent vain along his shaft, hollowing your cheeks so you could get every inch of him inside of you.
“Fuck, baby, keep doing that.” He squinted his eyes closed, his hand dropping from your head to fist the sofa cushions. “Yeah, y-yeah, that,”
He panted, looking up to the ceiling as he felt his balls tighten. “I’m gonna cum, baby,”
You did what you knew best and paid special attention to his tip, the space beneath and massaged him with your tongue. He cried out, spilling himself down your throat with a salty taste.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” He cursed in cries, biting his hand with his pearly teeth. You sucked him dry, taking in everything he had to offer.
You smiled, wiping the corners of your mouth. His eyes were closed, chest heaving with pants and his arms cast lazily at his sides.
“Goodnight, Ed’s.”
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makingqueerhistory · 7 months
Text
Queer Books Challenged in Florida Schools and Libraries
There are some affiliate links below in case you want to support MQH.
Gender Queer: A Memoir, Maia Kobabe: Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears.
The Color Purple, Alice Walker: Separated as girls, sisters Celie and Nettie sustain their loyalty to and hope in each other across time, distance and silence. Through a series of letters spanning nearly thirty years, first from Celie to God, then the sisters to each other despite the unknown, the novel draws readers into its rich and memorable portrayals of Celie, Nettie, Shug Avery and Sofia and their experience. The Color Purple broke the silence around domestic and sexual abuse, narrating the lives of women through their pain and struggle, companionship and growth, resilience and bravery.
Julián Is a Mermaid, Jessica Love: While riding the subway home from the pool with his abuela one day, Julián notices three women spectacularly dressed up. Their hair billows in brilliant hues, their dresses end in fishtails, and their joy fills the train car. When Julián gets home, daydreaming of the magic he's seen, all he can think about is dressing up just like the ladies in his own fabulous mermaid costume: a butter-yellow curtain for his tail, the fronds of a potted fern for his headdress. But what will Abuela think about the mess he makes -- and even more importantly, what will she think about how Julián sees himself? Mesmerizing and full of heart, Jessica Love's author-illustrator debut is a jubilant picture of self-love and a radiant celebration of individuality.
Drama: A Graphic Novel, Raina Telgemeier: Callie loves theater. And while she would totally try out for her middle school's production of Moon over Mississippi, she can't really sing. Instead she's the set designer for the drama department's stage crew, and this year she's determined to create a set worthy of Broadway on a middle-school budget. But how can she, when she doesn't know much about carpentry, ticket sales are down, and the crew members are having trouble working together? Not to mention the onstage AND offstage drama that occurs once the actors are chosen. And when two cute brothers enter the picture, things get even crazier!
Cemetery Boys, Aiden Thomas: Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can't get rid of him. When his traditional Latinx family has problems accepting his true gender, Yadriel becomes determined to prove himself a real brujo. With the help of his cousin and best friend Maritza, he performs the ritual himself, and then sets out to find the ghost of his murdered cousin and set it free. However, the ghost he summons is actually Julian Diaz, the school's resident bad boy, and Julian is not about to go quietly into death. He's determined to find out what happened and tie off some loose ends before he leaves. Left with no choice, Yadriel agrees to help Julian, so that they can both get what they want. But the longer Yadriel spends with Julian, the less he wants to let him leave.
I Am Billie Jean King, Brad Meltzer: This friendly, fun biography series focuses on the traits that made our heroes great--the traits that kids can aspire to in order to live heroically themselves. Each book tells the story of one of America's icons in a lively, conversational way that works well for the youngest nonfiction readers and that always includes the hero's childhood influences. At the back are an excellent timeline and photos. This volume features Billie Jean King, the world champion tennis player who fought successfully for women's rights. From a young age, Billie Jean King loved sports--especially tennis! But as she got older, she realized that plenty of people, even respected male athletes, didn't take women athletes seriously. She set to prove them wrong and show girls everywhere that sports are for everyone, regardless of gender.
This One Summer, Mariko Tamaki: Every summer, Rose goes with her mom and dad to a lake house in Awago Beach. It's their getaway, their refuge. Rosie's friend Windy is always there, too, like the little sister she never had. But this summer is different. Rose's mom and dad won't stop fighting, and when Rose and Windy seek a distraction from the drama, they find themselves with a whole new set of problems. One of the local teens - just a couple of years older than Rose and Windy - is caught up in something bad... Something life threatening. It's a summer of secrets, and sorrow, and growing up, and it's a good thing Rose and Windy have each other.
Marriage of a Thousand Lies, Sj Sindu: Lucky and her husband, Krishna, are gay. They present an illusion of marital bliss to their conservative Sri Lankan-American families, while each dates on the side. It's not ideal, but for Lucky, it seems to be working. She goes out dancing, she drinks a bit, she makes ends meet by doing digital art on commission. But when Lucky's grandmother has a nasty fall, Lucky returns to her childhood home and unexpectedly reconnects with her former best friend and first lover, Nisha, who is preparing for her own arranged wedding with a man she's never met.
And Tango Makes Three, Peter Parnell: At the penguin house at the Central Park Zoo, two penguins named Roy and Silo were a little bit different from the others. But their desire for a family was the same. And with the help of a kindly zookeeper, Roy and Silo got the chance to welcome a baby penguin of their very own.
More Happy Than Not, Adam Silvera: In the months following his father's suicide, sixteen-year-old Aaron Soto can't seem to find happiness again, despite the support of his girlfriend, Genevieve, and his overworked mom. Grief and the smile-shaped scar on his wrist won't let him forget the pain. But when Aaron meets Thomas, a new kid in the neighborhood, something starts to shift inside him. Aaron can't deny his unexpected feelings for Thomas despite the tensions their friendship has created with Genevieve and his tight-knit crew. Since Aaron can't stay away from Thomas or turn off his newfound happiness, he considers taking drastic actions. The Leteo Institute's revolutionary memory-altering procedure will straighten him out, even if it means forgetting who he truly is.
Melissa, Alex Gino: When people look at Melissa, they think they see a boy named George. But she knows she's not a boy. She knows she's a girl.
Melissa thinks she'll have to keep this a secret forever. Then her teacher announces that their class play is going to be Charlotte's Web. Melissa really, really, REALLY wants to play Charlotte. But the teacher says she can't even try out for the part... because she's a boy.
With the help of her best friend, Kelly, Melissa comes up with a plan. Not just so she can be Charlotte -- but so everyone can know who she is, once and for all.
A Quick & Easy Guide to Queer & Trans Identities, Mady G, Jules Zuckerberg: In this quick and easy guide to queer and trans identities, cartoonists Mady G and Jules Zuckerberg guide you through the basics of the LGBT+ world! Covering essential topics like sexuality, gender identity, coming out, and navigating relationships, this guide explains the spectrum of human experience through informative comics, interviews, worksheets, and imaginative examples. A great starting point for anyone curious about queer and trans life, and helpful for those already on their own journeys!
This Book Is Gay, Juno Dawson: This candid, funny, and uncensored exploration of sexuality and what it's like to grow up LGBTQ also includes real stories from people across the gender and sexual spectrums, not to mention hilarious illustrations.
Little & Lion, Brandy Colbert: When Suzette comes home to Los Angeles from her boarding school in New England, she's isn't sure if she'll ever want to go back. L.A. is where her friends and family are (as well as her crush, Emil). And her stepbrother, Lionel, who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, needs her emotional support. But as she settles into her old life, Suzette finds herself falling for someone new...the same girl her brother is in love with. When Lionel's disorder spirals out of control, Suzette is forced to confront her past mistakes and find a way to help her brother before he hurts himself--or worse.
King and the Dragonflies, Kacen Callender: Twelve-year-old Kingston James is sure his brother Khalid has turned into a dragonfly. When Khalid unexpectedly passed away, he shed what was his first skin for another to live down by the bayou in their small Louisiana town. Khalid still visits in dreams, and King must keep these secrets to himself as he watches grief transform his family.
It would be easier if King could talk with his best friend, Sandy Sanders. But just days before he died, Khalid told King to end their friendship, after overhearing a secret about Sandy-that he thinks he might be gay. "You don't want anyone to think you're gay too, do you?"
Sorted: Growing Up, Coming Out, and Finding My Place: A Transgender Memoir, Jackson Bird: An unflinching and endearing memoir from LGBTQ+ advocate Jackson Bird about how he finally sorted things out and came out as a transgender man.When Jackson Bird was twenty-five, he came out as transgender to his friends, family, and anyone in the world with an internet connection. Assigned female at birth and raised as a girl, he often wondered if he should have been born a boy. Jackson didn't share this thought with anyone because he didn't think he could share it with anyone.
The Black Flamingo, Dean Atta: Michael is a mixed-race gay teen growing up in London. All his life, he's navigated what it means to be Greek-Cypriot and Jamaican--but never quite feeling Greek or Black enough.
As he gets older, Michael's coming out is only the start of learning who he is and where he fits in. When he discovers the Drag Society, he finally finds where he belongs--and the Black Flamingo is born
Explore the full list here.
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moonstruckme · 5 months
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hey :)) first off, i love the hozier caption in your bio. second, I’ve been reading so many of your fics recently and i think you’re sooo talented! i wanna be like you when I grow up (im 20 almost 21 lol)
anyways, I’ve never really requested anything but i wanna give it a try. I was wondering if you could do a poly!marauders x reader fic or a just remus x reader fic where’s she’s driving and accidentally hits an animal and is really upset about it but they’re there to help to her move it and comfort her.
i just hit a cat and im not taking it well. we think it was just a stray cause I left my number with it in case but no one has called. my family kinda, but not really, made fun of me for being so sad about it and i kinda just need something with the guys being so affectionate and loving with her after everything.
it’s totally okay if youre not up to it! I understand that it’s such a hard topic so I won’t be offended if you don’t feel comfortable writing in this.
thank you again and im sooo looking forward to youre future work!! you’re talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before (lady gaga)
Mwah mwah mwah <3<3
-aves
(sorry this is so long)
Hi sweetheart, thank you so much! (Is your username a Lizzy McAlpine reference? I love that) I'm really sorry you went through this, I've been fortunate enough to have never hit an animal but I've seen it happen and it's so horrible, I'm really sorry you've been dealing with this :(( I think you did the right thing by leaving your number with it, and I hope the weight of that trauma and grief is starting to lift off you my love. Thank you for requesting <3
cw: mention of killing an animal, reader feeling guilty
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.8k words
James hears the door and is up instantly, bounding down the hall to greet you and Sirius. 
“Hello!” he calls ahead, eager for company after being left alone in your flat for over a half hour. “You guys took your time today, I thought even Remus might beat you home. Was traffic a riot, or…”
Sirius is looking at him with panic in his blue-gray eyes, clearly trying to convey one of those telepathic messages James has never been great at interpreting, and you…you’re looking at nothing. Your gaze is distant as you work off your shoe, the area around your eyes puffy and gray with smudged mascara. 
“Hey,” James breathes, then feels stupid. It sounds like he’s accusing you of something. He tries again. “Is everything okay?” 
Sirius gives him a look that says What do you think? and crouches beside you to help with a stubborn knot in your shoelace. Your hands are trembling, James notices. Dread settles like a stone in his stomach.
“I’ve got it,” Sirius murmurs to you, fingers gentle as they intercept your own, but the alarm doesn’t leave his expression as he watches your face. Ah. As much as it kills James to see you upset, Sirius will have no idea what to do with you in this state. Tears have always set him on edge. 
James squats, joining the two of you on the floor. “Hi, sweetheart.” He does his best to keep his own anxiety out of his voice as his hand finds your ankle, fingers wrapping around the bit of skin between the hem of your jeans and your socks. “Has something happened?” 
Your eyes meet his already full of tears, and James braces himself. Sirius does too, by the look of it, his shoulders tensing as he watches your face like you’re about to crumble away to nothing right here on their doormat. 
“I—” That’s all you get out before you have to bite down on your lip to keep from crying. A tiny whimper escapes, and spider web cracks spread across James’ heart. A sluggish tear leaks from your right eye. 
“It’s okay,” he swears, though he has no way of knowing it. You press the back of your hand to your mouth, trying to quell the sobs that shake your frame even with no air to feed them. “Oh, honey.” James leans forward, wrapping you in an awkward but very heartfelt hug, your knees between his chest and yours but your head crossing the distance to wet his shoulder with your tears. 
A sympathetic pressure builds in James’ sinuses, but he does his best to breathe through it. Stability tends to help you more than sympathy in these situations, and since Remus isn’t home yet, it’s left to James to be the reasonable one (Sirius would have all sorts of jokes to make about that, but he doesn’t seem to be feeling up to them either). 
He gives you a few moments of reprieve, a few passes of his palm up and down your spine, before trying again. “What’s going on?” he asks, gently as he can. “You guys are scaring me. Sirius?” 
Sirius’ brow pinches like he almost doesn’t want to say it either, and the anticipation in James’ chest heavies. “We were driving home,” he says slowly, keeping a wary eye on you lest he worsen your upset, “and a rabbit ran in front of the car.” 
Relief nearly chokes James at the same time as a sympathetic sorrow takes ahold of him. He pets the back of your head. You tremble with the force of your crying, leaning into his touch greedily. 
“She was driving?” he asks quietly, though he’s nearly sure. If your reaction isn’t enough to go off of, he already knows that you usually pick Sirius up from work and drive the both of you home. 
Sirius nods. 
“It doesn’t sound like there was anything you could do,” he murmurs to you, cupping the back of your neck to encourage you to look up at him. You do, sniffling as your lip quivers, and James uses his thumb to brush a wet streak of mascara from your blotchy cheek. 
“It must have been so scared.” Your voice breaks on the last word and James’ heart along with it, leaving a throbbing wound in the center of his chest. 
“I doubt it had time to be scared, honey,” he tries to reassure you, but his own voice is fraught. He looks to Sirius. “Did you…do you know if it…passed?” 
Sirius is half hiding behind his hair, a sure tell of his disquiet, and it brushes his shirt collar when he nods again. “We weren’t sure at first, so I got out to move it off the road. It was dead.” He winces at his wording, and you bite down on your lip harshly. His tone softens as he addresses you. “I really don’t think it felt any pain.”
You look nowhere near ready to believe him, and James is preparing to offer to make you a cup of tea and let you sort out your grief at your own pace when the front door opens again, stopping when it hits Sirius’ side. 
“Oh.” Remus pokes his head through. “Hello. Why are we all sitting on the floor?” 
Sirius scoots the rest of the way out of the door’s path before deciding to stand instead. He speaks to Remus in a low voice while James runs a hand up and down your side in an attempt to soothe you. He locks eyes with Remus over your shoulder, watching as the taller boy’s gaze takes on the weight of understanding. 
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Remus wraps Sirius in a half-hug, kissing his surprised boyfriend on the temple before stooping beside you. “That must have been awful to have to see. Let’s get you up, yeah?” He wraps a spindly hand around your forearm, more encouragement than anything, and James grips your other hand as he stands to pull you up with him. 
Neither of them seem quite willing to break contact with you, walking you over to the couch like a newborn fawn despite your murmured I’m okay. Sirius follows close behind. The both of you look like you’re perching rather than sitting, unable to completely relax even now that you’re home. 
“It must have been quite a scare,” Remus sympathizes, sitting on the edge of his favored armchair. 
“A bit,” Sirius mutters, and your throat bobs. 
Remus cocks his head. “What’re you thinking, darling?” 
James almost wants to look away at the rawness in your expression as you raise your eyes to meet Remus’. “I just…I can’t believe I killed it. I’ve never” —your voice pitches, and you swallow again— “I’ve never killed anything before.”
 “It was an accident,” James tells you, beseeching. 
“You couldn’t have stopped,” Sirius says. His voice has an odd, desperate quality to it, and James sees Remus notice it at the same time as he does, both boys leaning forward to see Sirius better. For the first time, James notices—had he missed it before, or has it only just started?—that Sirius is trembling slightly too. James’ free hand twitches instinctively toward him, but his dark-haired boyfriend is only touchy when he’s in a good mood. He’s not keen on physical comfort; no matter how many years James has worked on him, Sirius has always preferred to keep his struggles internal. “Or avoided it,” he goes on. “It happened too fast.” 
Remus nods at you. “As awful as it is, these things happen sometimes. Hopefully,” he adds when another tear slips down your cheek, “never again to you, but selfish as it is, I’m glad you didn’t slam on the brakes or anything else that could have gotten you and Sirius hurt instead.” 
You glance at Sirius, and he gives you a weak smile, taking your hand and squeezing gently. 
“Nothing you could have done,” he whispers. 
Your lips tremble again. James watches as panic flashes in Sirius’ eyes, but he keeps it together. “I’m really sorry,” you tell him, voice wavering. “I shouldn’t have made you take care of the bunny by yourself.” 
James' chest aches as Sirius takes a steadying breath. “You were frazzled. Understandably upset,” he corrects himself, squeezing your hand again. This time you squeeze back. “It was a one-man job anyway.” 
You make a soft sound, leaning your head on his shoulder, and James has the sense something has settled a bit in each of you. He raises your joined hands to his lips, kissing the back of yours as Remus’ eyebrows furrow. 
“Have you had a chance to wash your hands, love?” he asks Sirius, who blinks.
“No. I forgot.” 
Despite the heavy atmosphere, James actually feels the beginnings of a smile tempting his lips as he watches Remus forcibly quell his horror. “Right, then. Why don’t we go do that in the kitchen now, and I’ll make us all some tea.” 
“Good idea,” James says heartily, swiping his thumb back and forth over his own kiss on your hand. “Hey, could we take out the good cookies as well?” 
Remus hums what James chooses to interpret as assent, shepherding Sirius into the kitchen. 
“I’m sorry,” you say to James once the other two are out of hearing. 
He looks down at you. “What for, sweetheart?” 
You shrug, your shoulders remaining just a tad too high after the motion. You’ve stopped crying, and James is grateful, but he doesn’t think this shameful look is a vast improvement. “I feel like I’m being dramatic. And Sirius is the one who had to see it. He had to drive home too, I was too upset.” 
James’ battered, broken heart wells for the both of you. He forgoes his attentions to your hand, wrapping his arm around your shoulders instead to tuck you against his side. “You’re not being dramatic,” he promises, “okay? You and Sirius were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you both had to witness something awful.” Your head sinks onto his shoulder, and he rubs your upper arm. “I think it’s alright to be sad for a while. For yourselves, and for the bunny. Just, don’t torment yourself, alright?” He withdraws enough to see your face, and you tilt your gaze up to his. “Please. You don’t deserve the guilt.” 
Your eyes cast down, contemplative and a bit shy, a moment before your head comes back to its spot on his shoulder. “Thanks,” you murmur. 
“No thanks necessary, babe. You can cry all night if you need to, I’ll be right here. Just do me a favor,” he lowers his voice, glancing toward the kitchen, “let me sit between you and Sirius if you do. Many more tears and I think he’ll have a heart attack.”
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pedropascallme · 1 year
Text
Occam’s Razor
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader; no use of y/n
Summary: “Philosophically speaking—logically speaking—Occam’s razor is a principle that recommends searching for explanations with the least possible set of elements. In other words, the best answer, the correct answer, is often the simplest.”
Warnings: Smut (18+ MINORS DNI), age gap (reader is in her 20s, Joel is early 50s), dom/sub dynamics (dom!Joel x sub!Reader), fingering, oral (m receiving), p in v sex, praise kink, daddy kink, sir kink, size kink if you squint, mild degradation, mild brattamer!Joel??, canon typical violence. If i missed anything please let me know!
~~~
Philosophically speaking—logically speaking—Occam’s razor is a principle that recommends searching for explanations with the least possible set of elements. In other words, the best answer, the correct answer, is often the simplest.
But more on that later.
Joel miller was a man of few words. Rugged; stoic to his core. Ellie, on the other hand, was perhaps the chattiest of Cathies you had ever met. When their little party picked you up, you and Ellie quickly fell into the habit of talking through and over anything and everything together.
Much to Miller’s chagrin.
Despite his stern demeanor, you couldn’t deny that Joel had that southern charm to him. He’d clear branches out of your way, place a hand on your back while you walked over uneven terrain, call you “darlin’” to get your attention. You’d be a fool not to notice how handsome he was; despite the obvious signs of age and trauma, despite the fact that he was quite a bit older than you, and despite the fact that he clearly had everything but you on his mind…there was no denying how gorgeous Joel miller was.
You liked to imagine he had a soft spot for you, liked to imagine that the hands on your shoulder when you climbed a steeper-than-expected hill were for more than steadying the both of you. You liked to think that when you made camp and he offered first shift it was because he cared. Maybe it was the way he looked at you during meals, as if he was undressing you with his eyes, that fed into your delusions. But, hey, the world had ended—crazier things could happen.
Still, you would be snapped out of your fantasies when he gave you the stink eye for encouraging Ellie’s dirty jokes. Your attempts to force him into a conversation were shot down almost every time. He had yelled at you more than once, most recently for “trying so damn hard to get us all killed”—his words—when you had almost tripped an old landmine that raiders had set up in a field. So maybe it was all in your head. You tried not to take his words to heart, choosing to focus on his kinder actions. But Joel had you hot and bothered. And, oftentimes, pissed.
Who gave a fuck. At least you had Ellie.
It had been days and days and days of walking and camping and then walking again. When you weren’t talking to and giggling with Ellie (the younger girl reading her joke book and getting you to guess every punchline) or staring at the back of Joel’s head as he led you onward, you reflected on why exactly the two travelers had let you stay with them. Why Joel had let you stick around. It wasn’t like he had to—hell, when Ellie had found you, Joel pulled a gun to your head, and Ellie had to convince him to bring you along. It took ten minutes for him to let his gun down, and it still felt like he hadn’t let his guard down around you. Maybe Joel thought the girl needed a more maternal figure, maybe he thought you, in your ratty jeans, at 20-something, could provide that energy. That seemed like the simplest answer, and it felt to you that Joel didn’t care for you all that much, despite your daydreams. You were grateful, really, you were, but there were times where you wished he would address the fact that you were there. A “thank you” would be appreciated. 
You were pulled out of your own head when you heard Ellie gasp; immediately you reached for the gun on your hip, eyes darting up and around in search of whatever danger she had reacted to. Before you could do anything, though, you heard her speak:
“House!”
Your shoulders slumped a bit in relief that it had been a good gasp. But you still stood behind Joel with Ellie as you made your way forward to the house. Just in case. Joel held up his rifle, expecting the worst—he was always expecting the worst. Slowly but surely, you made it to the porch of the run-down cabin.
“Stay.” Joel’s voice was firm when you and Ellie got closer to the entrance. It was an order, even though it had been barely above a whisper. He walked through the front door as quietly as he could, keeping himself low and his gun high. After a few minutes he walked back out and stuck his thumb towards the entrance.
“S’alright. Doesn’t seem like anybody’s been here for a long while.”
Ellie ran into the house, no doubt in search of a bed to call her own for however long you three would be staying. You trudged up the steps behind her, looking around at the decomposition of the interior. It would’ve been a nice house to live in before. 
_______________________
Night fell just as quickly as the day had begun.
By some miracle, despite the house’s decay, there was still running water. You relished the time you got to spend in the shower, rubbing all of the dirt and grime off your body and watching it swirl down the rusted drain. 
Once dressed, you rounded the corner and sat on the dusty couch in the middle of what had once been a living room. You had spent so much time in the shower, you assumed Joel and Ellie would’ve been asleep by now, figuring that you would take first shift in your shiny clean state.
That was not the case.
Heavy footsteps came down the stairs, and by the time you turned yourself around to look at the source of the sound, Joel was already standing on the bottom of the staircase.
“Ellie’s asleep. I’ll take first watch.” He walked towards the couch, sitting himself down at an arm’s length from you. 
“I can take first watch. I don’t mind. I’m up anyway.” You drew your legs into your chest, suddenly feeling a bit exposed in your white shirt as the excess water on your body from the shower had started to make the fabric see-through.
“M’up, too. Bedroom’s the first door on the right. Can’t miss it.” 
“Miller, I can watch. Take a break.”
“Ain’t no breaks, darlin’.” Your heart skipped a bit when he used the nickname. It was embarrassing how one word could get under your skin and cause heat to rise in your cheeks so easily.
“Well, sure. But I’m taking this shift.” You didn’t know why you were arguing with him over something so futile. He would end up winning, anyway. Really, you just wanted an excuse to talk to him one-on-one. “So be on your way.”
“No, you’re not. Go upstairs.”
“Who died and made you king?” Those were fighting words, and you knew it. 
“The whole fuckin’ world died, sweetheart.” You could tell you were getting to him. “Go.”
“You’re a real piece of work, Joel Miller. You’re not in charge, you just have the most ammo. If I said I’ll take first watch, then I’ll—"
“Jesus H. Christ, girl, d’y’ever shut up?” Joel cut you off.
“You got a mighty big stick shoved up your ass, Miller.”
Joel stood up, refusing to back down from the fight you had started. You decided to stand, too. You weren’t about to let him win just because he had you cornered into the couch.
“‘Nd you’re still over there runnin’ your mouth. What’s this, hour four o’bein’ here? You still got somethin’ new to say?”
“You want me to be quiet?” You were standing right in front of him, looking him directly in the eyes. 
Fuck, he had pretty eyes.
“Mm.”
“Make me.”
Remember Occam’s razor? The simplest solution.
Joel grabbed you by the waist, attacking your mouth with his. You yelped at the sudden contact, but he silenced you just as quickly by forcing his tongue into your mouth. You relaxed into him, letting his hands explore you while you wrapped your own around him, fingers tugging at the curly hair at the nape of his neck. He pushed you back down onto the couch.
“Need me to make you shut up?” He undid his belt, calloused hands sliding it out of the loops. “I’ll show you what that fuckin’ mouth is good for, sweetheart. Get on your fuckin’ knees.”
You were never one to disobey a command. You inched yourself off the couch, settling on your knees in front of Joel. He traced a hand down your jaw, placing his thumb on your bottom lip. You opened your mouth for him, and he placed his thumb inside.
“Use that mouth, baby.” He watched you close your lips around the digit and hollow your cheeks to suck. “Tha’s right. Need’a teach you some manners. What’tya say?” 
“Thank you, Joel.” You managed to mumble out, still sucking on his thumb.
“Uh-uh. You treat me with some fuckin’ respect when you’re on your knees for me. What do you say?” He pulled his thumb out of your mouth with a pop, tracing it over your cheek and smearing your spit across your face.
“Thank you, sir.”
“Good girl.” He unzipped his fly and took your hands in his, placing them on his crotch. You could feel how hard he was, how his cock throbbed for you in his pants. He put your hands on his hips, then pulled down his jeans to release himself. 
You had spent a lot of time imagining Joel’s dick. You knew that it had to be big, considering the way he carried himself, considering he always had to adjust his pants after sitting down. But even then, nothing could have prepared you for how fucking hung he was. He was so beautiful.
He grabbed one of your hands, making you wrap it around his cock.
“What are you waitin’ for, darlin’?” He looked down at you expectantly. There was no way you would be able to fit all of him down your throat, but you’d be damned if you didn’t at least try.
You wrapped your lips around the head of his cock, giving experimental licks and kisses. He groaned, grabbing your hair and holding it in a ponytail.
“Gonna be a good girl f’me?” He asked, and all you could do was make a noise in response. “Gonna let me use this mouth how it needs to be used?” Again, you could only make a noise, this time higher pitched in anticipation. “Wanted to fuck this pretty mouth o’yours for so damn long. You gonna let me?” Now all you could do was moan, and he took that as a “yes.”
He pushed himself forward into your mouth, and you could feel the burn of your cheeks as he got deeper. He got maybe, maybe, halfway in when you started to gag, choking on his length, your spit dripping down your chin.
“So fuckin’ pretty, baby. Messy girl. Lettin’ me use you like this. Fuck!” You had reached a hand down to cup his balls, giving them a small squeeze with your mouth still wrapped firmly around his shaft. “Knew you’d be a good girl. Knew you’d be a fuckin’ whore.” He began to shallowly thrust into your mouth, making you choke and drool all over yourself. You could feel the wet patch on your underwear growing bigger with every move he made and every word he said. Tears streamed down your face as he pushed himself against the back of your throat.
He pulled out, slapping your cheek with his cock. “Doin’ such a good job. Should’a shut you up like this before.” Joel slapped your cheek with his dick again, drawing a whine from you. “You need more, sweet thing? L’il slut needs more than what I’ve already given her?” Now he was just teasing.
“Please, sir…” Was all you could manage, opening your mouth again in the hopes that he would stuff his cock back inside.
“Please, sir, what?”
“Please can I have your cock, sir?” You weren’t one for begging, but God did you love seeing Joel stand above you. How could you deny him what he wanted when he was gripping his cock like that? Looking down at you like that?
“Get up on the couch.” You did as you were told. He grabbed your face and pulled you into him for another kiss. It was filthy, all spit and tongue, and you fucking loved it.
He began stripping you of your clothes. He tugged your shirt off over your head, drinking in the way your naked chest rose and fell with every breath you took. You shimmied out of your jeans, but before you could get rid of your panties, Joel was pushing you onto the couch.
“Lemme help you, pretty girl.” He pulled your hips up, one arm under your ass for support while he ghosted his fingers over your clothed cunt.
“Look at that fuckin’ wet spot. Did I do that to you, baby? Daddy get you all wet, fuckin’ your pretty mouth?” He rubbed a knuckle in the middle of the wetness on your panties, and you moaned at the contact. “Answer my question.”
“Daddy got me wet—yes!” You bit back a yell as Joel pulled your panties to the side and unceremoniously pushed his middle finger into your weeping cunt. 
“Fuckin’ soaked f’me. Barely fittin’ one finger in, beautiful. How you gonna take my cock?” You opened your mouth but no words came out, instead you heard yourself let out a string of high pitched moans.
“God, this tight little pussy…gonna make you all mine, sweetheart.”
“I—ah!—I’m all y-yours alrea-dy.” You breathed out. Joel added another finger and you felt yourself squeeze him.
“Tha’s right, wanna feel you cum on my fingers like this. Can you do that, baby? Be a good girl and cum on daddy’s fingers?” You could hardly breathe you were so turned on, so focused on how Joel’s fingers were brushing against your most sensitive spot. Eyes closing in concentration; you felt a smack against your clit. Opening your eyes, you met Joel’s gaze.
“Be a good girl ‘nd look at me while I’m usin’ this pussy.” He started pushing his fingers deeper.
Your head rolled back on the couch, mouth dropping open in a silent scream, trying your best not to break eye contact with Joel.
“So quiet all of a sudden, baby. S’at all you needed? Needed to get this pussy filled up so that I could get some fuckin’ peace and quiet?” You nodded your head in response, feeling yourself at the tipping point. Your face was hot, your body coated in sweat, and all he had done was fuck your face and use his fingers on you. You were a fucking goner. You felt a rough finger on your clit, and Joel’s voice calling you a “good girl,” and that was all you needed. The rubber band snapped, and you were cumming all over his hand.
“Good fuckin’ girl. Fuck, getting’ my hand all messy.” You were breathing heavily, still able to feel the fullness of his fingers inside you as you came down from your orgasm. 
Suddenly you were empty again, and Joel brought his fingers up to your lips. You opened your mouth without any fuss, tasting the tang of your juices on his fingers. He watched you like a hawk, unable to tear away his gaze from the way your lips pulled his fingers in while you sucked your cum off of them.
He pulled his fingers away, and you whined. You needed contact—any contact—with him. He gave you another kiss, pulling away to ask you what you needed.
“Your cock, Joel. Please.” 
“Already gave you my cock, didn’t I, darlin’?” 
“Want more, sir.”
“Gonna have to be more specific.” You could feel his breath on your face.
“Can I…I want you to… please?”
“God, you can’t even remember your words now. Pathetic little mess f’me.” He wrapped a hand around your throat. “I know what you want, baby. Want me to fuck your little pussy? S’at it?” You nodded. His insult went straight to your core.
He got up on the couch next to you, shifting you to lie on your side, your legs pressed together in what was essentially the fetal position. He pulled your ruined panties down, letting you straighten your legs for a moment before throwing them somewhere and pushing your legs back up. You felt him lining his cock up to your hole, nudging you with the tip.
“Tell me what you want.” He urged again. 
You felt a newfound confidence surge through you. “Want daddy to fuck my pussy, please.” You followed all his rules, using your manners, using his title. It didn’t go unnoticed. Joel growled as he pushed his cock inside you. Every inch of him filled you up, dragging against your walls. You let out a long moan as he seated himself as deep inside of you as he could.
“Tiny l’il girl, look at you takin’ this big cock. So fuckin’ good.” He began to thrust himself shallowly in and out of your cunt. Every movement made you feel how good he was stretching you out, your wetness dripped between your legs. 
You let out a particularly shrill moan as he hit a spot deep inside of you, one you hadn’t even realized existed. He smacked your ass hard before cupping his hand over your mouth.
“Just when I thought you were learnin’ to be quiet. Gonna have to fuck this lesson into you, huh?” He sped up, snapping his hips into your ass. You could hear the wet sounds your pussy made around him. The hand that had been on your mouth dipped between your legs, pulling the one on top up and over his shoulder.
“Tha’s what I like to see. Pretty girl all spread out for me. Thought o’this view every fuckin’ day.” He was absolutely ruining you, kneading your clit and pulling you up onto his dick. 
“Gimme another one, sweetheart. Cum on my cock.” He let your leg drop off of his shoulder, leaning in to kiss you while you tried to keep your moans quiet. His fingers still worked your clit, rubbing your bud in time with his thrusts. 
“J-oel,” you gasped, “I’m—fuck! I—” 
“I know, baby. Show me what a good girl you are.” He kissed your cheek, and you clenched around him, making him groan. Your vision went blurry from the tears leaking out of your eyes combined with the absolute and utter pleasure that Joel had coursing through your veins. 
“Shit! So fuckin’ good for me, atta girl. Cum for daddy, sweetheart, there y’go.” 
You were shaking, turning slightly to lie on your back and look up at him.
“Th-ank you, sir…” You could barely keep your eyes open, your orgasm had knocked all the energy out of you. But at least you remembered your manners. 
“Good job, darlin’.” He was getting sloppy, his arms resting next to your head on the couch while he lazily drove his cock inside of you. “Where d’ya want me, baby?”
Through your haze you shot him a smile. “Inside. Please, will you cum inside me, daddy?”
He moaned, speeding up slightly at your request. “Want me to cum in this sweet pussy? Wanna feel me paint you with my fuckin’ load, pretty girl?”
You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him into you for another heated kiss. You moaned into each other’s mouths.
“Please,” you whispered against his lips, “please cum inside me, Joel.” 
He let out a groan, followed by your name over and over again, grinding himself into you. You felt the warmth of his cum in your stomach, wiggling your hips on him while his own hips stuttered above you, draining his cock into your greedy cunt.
He held himself above you, hair sticking to his forehead. You traced lazy shapes on his back and smiled up at him.
“You’re chatty when you fuck.” You goaded him.
“Yeah? You’re chatty all the time.” He spoke bluntly, but kissed your forehead. He pulled out of you, and your cunt clenched around nothing at the empty feeling. His cum dripped out of you. He sat up and pulled you into his lap. You sat silently for a moment, holding onto each other.
“Didn’t think you liked me all that much. Definitely didn’t think you liked me enough to fuck me like that.” You broke the silence. “Always felt like you didn’t want much to do with me.”
“Y’kidding?”
“No.”
“I like you too much.” Joel whispered into the top of your head.
“What do you mean?”
“Dangerous to like someone in this world, darlin’. Didn’t want either of us to deal with more hurt than we already have.”
“Oh…” You were silent again. Then, “So why’d you let me come with you two in the first place? Didn’t have to let me stick around.”
“’Cause you’re pretty.” He chuckled to himself. “’Nd Ellie needed someone a little more her speed. Someone a little more caring…maternal…” So, you had been right! 
But he continued. “‘Nd, you know…”
“What?”
“I told ya. I like you.”
“Didn’t seem that way when you held a gun to my head.” You said, recalling your first encounter.
“It was a precaution.”
“Mhm.”
“Well how does it seem when my cum’s drippin’ out o’you?” You laughed lightly, reaching your fingers down to feel the sticky mixture of his cum and yours that had leaked onto your leg. You put the fingers in your mouth. He sucked in a breath, watching you intently.
“Seems like maybe you’re telling the truth.” You let your fingers go, wiping the remaining spit and cum mixture on the couch.
“I am. Like you a lot. So much. I’d be willin’ to prove it again, y’know.” He smiled, wiggling his brows. You could get used to seeing Joel Miller joke around after fucking you stupid.
“Like you a lot, too.” More silence.
“So y’meant what you said?” He asked.
“What’d I say?”
“When we were fuckin’. Y’said you were mine.”
You leaned yourself into him. “Of course I meant it. Did you mean it when you said you wanted to make me yours?”
“Of course I meant it.” He parroted. 
“Good.” You sighed, letting the smell and feel of him surround you. 
“Y’finally ready to get some sleep?” He asked. And for the first time, you heard the genuine affection behind the words, not just the affection you thought you only heard from him in your imagination. 
“You said the bedroom is on the right?” You caved.
“I did.” 
You prepared to stand up, but Joel wrapping his arms around your stomach stopped you.
“Where th’hell are you goin’?”
“To the bedroom.”
“Why?”
“You told me to sleep, Joel, I’m gonna go to sleep.”
“Simpler to just stay here.” He pulled you closer to him. You gladly cuddled into him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.
He was right. That was the simplest solution. 
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sidekick-hero · 2 months
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(steddie | teen | 2.5k | tags: different first meeting, emotional hurt/comfort | summary: What happens when Steve meets Eddie Munson, who has just failed his senior year for the first time, during one of his nightly drives? | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is asking, "do you want a blanket?" by @thefreakandthehair | AO3)
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Steve's life was completely turned upside down (theoretically he sees the humor in this, but in practice the trauma trumps the pun) six months and six days ago when he came face-to-face with a honest-to-God inter-dimensional monster and barely survived to not tell the tale thanks to an airtight and frankly scary NDA.
He should be over it by now, right? He shouldn't be waking up screaming, drenched in his own sweat and shaking all over, his heart racing in his chest and his stomach in his throat.
Right.
Well, he's not. He doesn't get over it. The nightmares don't go away. If anything, he feels like they're getting worse, his mind adding horrible details and things that didn't happen, but could have, to keep torturing him.
He's a fucking mess.
Steve Harrington is a mess. His grades are slipping, on their way to joining his social status at rock bottom, and even his performance as co-captain of the swim team and basketball team is suffering from lack of sleep.
The only thing he has going for him is Nancy. Nancy, who doesn't understand that Steve just wants to get over the horror and the paranoia, just wants his life back, just wants to be normal again.
She doesn't say it outright, but he knows she thinks he's selfish, too self-centered to care about anything but himself. Sure, he's made amends with Jonathan and cut ties with Tommy and Carol, but deep down, Nancy doesn't think he's changed all that much. He's not Jonathan, he's not mature and monosyllabic and introspective. Just dumb little Steve, pretty to look at but not much else to offer.
These are the things he ponders during his late-night drives when another nightmare keeps him awake. It's impossible to fall asleep with terror pumping through his veins, so instead he climbs into his car and just drives. Some nights he will drive for hours, music playing softly from one of his tapes, Queen, Springsteen, Tears For Fears, Bon Jovi.
Tonight his drive takes him to the edge of town, right where a dirt road leads to the quarry. Steve has no idea why, but something makes him actually leave the main road and turn onto it. He follows it where it leads into the woods, slowing down on the bumpy road until he sees the dense cluster of trees open up to reveal a glimpse of the starry night sky. The path seems to open up into a clearing, and just there, to the right, Steve spots an old van.
He knows the car, has seen it often enough in the parking lot of Hawkins High to know that it belongs to none other than Eddie Munson, local drug dealer and freak.
At least that's what everyone keeps calling him, and sure, the guy seems a little weird, with his speeches on cafeteria tables, his dramatic antics in and out of class. He certainly doesn't look like most of the other kids, with his ripped jeans (clearly from wear and tear rather than fashion sense), long, unruly curls, and loud shirts advertising bands Steve has never heard of. People also shit on him for his father and for living in a trailer park, but none of that sounds particularly freaky to Steve.
Knowing what he does now, though, it worries him to think of Munson all alone out here where anything could happen to him. He doesn't know Munson, just about him, but Steve couldn't live with himself if he came to school on Monday and found Munson missing. One person has already died because of his carelessness, and no one deserves to suffer the same fate as Nancy's friend Barb.
Parking his car right next to Munson's, Steve climbs out and walks around the car to the trunk to pick up the nail bat that saved his life and the lives of Nancy and Jonathan. Then he makes his way to the opening of the clearing ahead.
Stepping out of the trees, Steve stops to take in the sight before him.
Above him stretches the inky expanse of the night sky, a seemingly endless void painted with a myriad of distant stars. The moonlight danced along the jagged edges of the quarry, revealing the vastness of the rocky landscape below in a silvery glow. The only sound that broke the silence of the night was the occasional soft rustle of leaves. The air was crisp and clean, carrying with it a hint of earthiness from the rocky terrain. In this secluded enclave, far from the lights of the city, the stars were front and center, and Steve felt unbelievably small.
With his shoulders hunched over his ears and his arms slung protectively around his knees, the figure sitting on the edge of the cliff looks even smaller than he feels.
It seems that Munson didn't even hear his car approaching, and that makes Steve's hair stand on end because it means that anyone, anything could have snuck up on him. It's not safe.
Steve approaches cautiously, trying his best not to startle the other boy and cause him to fall to his certain death.
"Munson?" He asks softly, quietly, but to no avail. It still causes Munson to flail in surprise, and only Steve's quick reflexes keep him from falling over the edge. With his knees still smarting from the sudden drop to the ground, Steve has his arm wrapped around the other boy, and both of them are panting from the shock.
"Fuck, man, are you trying to kill me?" Munson's voice quavers too much to be truly biting.
Steve carefully loosens his grip on Munson and leans back to sit on his haunches. Running a slightly trembling hand through his hair, he can't help but bite back. "If you paid more attention to what was going on around you, you would have heard me coming. I wasn't really trying to be subtle. It's like you want to get killed."
Munson scoots away from the edge of the cliff and climbs to his feet to look down at Steve and the nail bat he dropped when he made a grab for the other boy. He raises a judgmental eyebrow, causing Steve's defenses to go up in an instant.
They look at each other, brown meeting hazel, until Munson breaks the silence. "By someone walking around with a nail-studded bat, you mean?"
"I wasn't going to hit you with it!" And crap, abort Harrington, abort.
Now both eyebrows look at him questioningly. "And who, pray tell, pissed off King Steve enough to deserve this kind of treatment?"
"No one! For God's sake, I thought you might be in danger and wanted to be prepared in case you were." Then he adds, "After what happened to Will Byers and Barbara Holland, you'd think people in this town would be more careful instead of hanging out in the woods in the middle of the night."
Ed-No, Munson's eyes soften at his explanation. "Shit, sorry man. You're right, I guess." Shuffling his feet, he offers his own explanation for his harsh reaction. "Just had a shitty day, I guess. I shouldn't have bitten your head off for trying to look out for me. Although I never thought King Steve would ride in on his white horse to save the school freak from unimaginable evil."
"White horse? What, like a knight? Does that make you the damsel in distress, Munson?"
Munson gets a strange look on his face at Steve's words, and before he knows what's happening, the guy pretends to faint right into his arms. He catches him just before he hits the ground and feels how cold the boy's body is in his thin t-shirt. "My savior," Munson croons, and Steve rolls his eyes at his antics. Still not a freak, but definitely weird.
Instead of dignifying this with an answer, Steve says, "You're freezing, man. What are you doing out here in the middle of the night anyway?"
Dark brown eyes search his, and Steve thinks he's never seen such expressive eyes. He can read a myriad of emotions in them and he doesn't even know the guy. Sadness, caution, defeat, and something he's seen in the mirror a lot in the last few months: fear.
"I bet you have better things to do than listen to my sad little problems. Can't imagine you're just running around town rescuing damsels in distress now, I'm sure you have places to be, a kingdom to rule..."
"Could you just drop the whole 'King Steve' crap, man? I'm not him. Not anymore. Even if nobody seems to have gotten the memo."
"Okay, woah, sorry, man. I didn't know this was such a touchy subject."
"Do you want me to call you a freak and make assumptions about you based solely on high school gossip?"
"I don't know, don't you?"
"I'm trying not to. You don't have to tell me what's going on if you don't want to. I'm just saying... I know what it's like when you can't stand lying in your bed staring at the ceiling any longer. Wanting to get out and leave whatever it is that's bothering you behind, but no matter how fast you drive, it keeps catching up with you."
He's rambling, he knows he is, he didn't plan on unburdening his heart to Eddie Munson of all people, but here they are.
"I failed senior year." Eddie finally admits in a small voice, not meeting Steve's eyes.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Fuck, man. That sucks. Can you repeat it?"
"Sure. But I... God, everyone was right all along. I'm a failure, a fuckup. Just like my dad. A good-for-nothing waste of space. I haven't even told Wayne, I can't stand the look in his eyes when I tell him". There are tears in Eddie's eyes and Steve's heart breaks for him.
"Fuck!" Eddie shouts across the quarry and a flock of birds takes flight somewhere in the nearby woods. He's shaking again, and this time it's not from the adrenaline. Steve can't really take away any of the things that are weighing on Eddie, but he can offer him something else.
"Do you want a blanket?"
Eddie's doe eyes blink at him slowly, as if he's not sure he heard him right.
"You're only wearing a T-shirt, you must be cold." Eddie doesn't deny it. "Let me get you a blanket, then."
Another slow blink, and then, "If you're...sure?"
Steve gives him a smile that he hopes is warm and reassuring. "I'm sure." He walks over to his BMW and takes the nail bat with him, exchanging it for the blanket that he keeps in the trunk of his car at all times. Tommy H. calls it the "baby maker blanket," which is so typical of Tommy that Steve wonders why he was hanging out with him at all. Maybe because he was a friend to Steve when no one else would be.
But maybe he won't tell Eddie about the blanket's history. Anyway, it's freshly washed and smells only of his detergent.
Handing it to the boy, Steve says, "There you go," before turning to walk back to his car.
"Where are you going?"
When Steve turns back, Eddie is sitting on the ground with the blanket around his shoulder, one end held open as if inviting Steve to join him.
"Back home?" It's not supposed to sound like a question, but some of his reluctance to leave seeps into it anyway. He doesn't want to go home to his empty house and bed, afraid to close his eyes in case the nightmares come back.
"Look, you don't have to, of course, but if you want, you can stay and tell me what brought you here in the middle of the night. Or not. We could just sit here in silence, totally fine with me."
Steve snorts, because even though this is the first time he's had a conversation with Eddie, he can already tell that silence doesn't come easy to him.
"If you're sure," he repeats Eddie's words back to him as he makes his way over to him.
"I'm sure," Eddie says firmly, wrapping the blanket around Steve as soon as he sits down next to him.
Many things surprised Steve that night, but most of all how comfortable the silence between him and Eddie had felt as they watched the stars until they gave way to the rising sun.
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They never talked about that night again, the polite nods in the halls all the acknowledgment they allowed for what had happened.
But when Steve walks across the stage to receive his diploma in 1985, he notices Eddie's absence and his heart aches for him. He had been looking forward to seeing Eddie walk across the stage next to him, to give him a smile, a wink. Maybe even ask him out for a celebratory beer, if he's being completely honest with himself.
The sad truth is: Steve had no one to spend his graduation with, no girlfriend, no friends, just a 13-year-old know-it-all whose bedtime didn't really allow for any kind of grown-up celebration. Eddie was his only hope of not being alone tonight.
That's probably why he's heading out to the quarry again that night, bat and blanket in tow.
It's a shot in the dark, and at the same time it's not. Because there Eddie is, sitting on the edge again, small and defeated, and just as alone as Steve. Without a word, Steve joins him on the ground and wraps the blanket around them both.
"I'm sorry."
Eddie's warm weight settles against him. "Me too." Silence falls between them, and Steve thinks that's all they'll say, but then Eddie nudges his shoulder with his own and says, "I'm sorry, too. About Wheeler."
"Me too."
Steve thinks that even if he's not a poet, there's something symbolic in the way they both watch the sun rise again over the quarry.
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The next time he wrapped the blanket around Eddie, it was again in the middle of the night. Only this time, Eddie is unconscious in the back of his car while Steve races to the hospital, praying to any God who will listen that this will not be the last time.
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It isn't. Not by a long shot. Getting the blood out is not easy, but with Joyce's help he manages. The blanket is there when physical therapy is especially grueling, when they both sit on the porch of Eddie's new trailer, Steve holding Eddie under the blanket's protective cover.
It's there when Steve moves in with the Munsons and gets a special place on Eddie's bed, though they never make love on it. The blood was hard enough to get out, and the material doesn't look like it can take much more deep cleaning.
They take it with them when they move to their apartment in Chicago, and it's there for every bad day either of them has.
Their blanket finds its final purpose, however, with the arrival of their daughter, April. From the day their little bundle of joy moves in with them, she sleeps wrapped in the foundation of Steve and Eddie's love.
Steve may not be a poet, that's Eddie's job, but he appreciates the symbolism all the same.
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xinmin-exe · 4 months
Text
Attack On Titan characters as Parents
Note: I haven't really watched attack on titan in years, so I'm sure all of these characters are gonna be OOC ALSO i am making it so everyone survived in the end and they all got their happy ending because these babies deserve it
WARNINGS: fem!reader, brief mentions of past trauma, mentions of miscarriage, very brief mention of the birthing process,
Eren
Eren was so traumatized after what his father did, he almost had a break down when you told him you were pregnant. It took him a couple weeks, and many, many late night talks with Armin until he was willing to try to be there for you. Eren was so nervous and worried he was going to be just like his father but the moment he saw his kid, everything just clicked. He was so gentle with them and always made time to talk and play with them during the day. As they got older, their bond grew even closer as Daddy and Aunt Mikasa took them out hunting every couple of weeks. Eren is an amazing father who despite everything he went through, made damn sure to do better for his child.
Armin
Armin never imagined having children, it just wasn't something he saw in his future. that was, until you came into his life and changed everything. When your little bundle of joy was born, Armin was in tears. He couldn't help but admire them and want to give them everything. Since then, Armin has done everything to nurture their ideas and passions. He even took them to the sea and let them play around. He wanted them to grow up with everything he couldn't have (aka, parents) so he did everything he could to stick around. Armin turned down multiple high government positions just to stay close to you and his child. Armin is the parent we all need in our lives.
Mikasa
When you approached Mikasa with the idea of wanting to adopt, she was speechless. Ever since her parents were killed, she never thought about having children. However, she loved you so much that she wanted to at least try. After all, she wasn't exactly motherly (at least that's what she will tell people) When Hange introduced you two to a young child (maybe 5 or 6) from the underground Mikasa's heart melted. She saw herself in this child so much that her protective instincts kicked in. She was so protective of this child, no one, and i mean no one besides you could be left alone with them. Even if it was armin or Eren, Mikasa was always in the room, one second away from glaring the other person into the next century. Mikasa really warmed up to the idea of being a parent and fit into the role well.
Jean
Jean was the one of the only in the group who wanted to still have kids. He knew what he wanted from life and was damned if some suicidal maniac was going to stop him. So when you were giving birth, Jean made sure he was right next to you, holding your hand and encouraging you the entire time. Even though you did scream at him "this is your fault! If i live through this i am going to KILL you Kirstein!" (the nurses thought that it was funny) But once your child was here, nothing else mattered. Once you were able to leave the hospital and go home, all Jean did was take your kid around and show off. Constantly saying "look at what i did" or "aren't they just gorgeous like their mom?" He always had something to brag about (even if the thing wasn't brag worthy), to Jean, anything your child did was amazing. Jean is very much the parent to scream at the back of the room while their kid is performing and embarrass the shit out of them.
Connie
Connie hadn't given having kids much thought. Afterall, he didn't even know if he'd be surviving long enough to be given that option. But once you told him you were pregnant, he was over the moon! Connie didn't let you move a muscle, ever. You need something from the top shelf? He's getting the stepstool. You want some food? He's already getting the ingredients out. And when you went into labor, he was right by your side. He let you squeeze his hand as hard as you needed to, and he made sure you were given everything possible to make birth as comfortable as it could be. Connie was so overwhelmed with love once he laid eyes on your child, the only time he let you hold them was when they needed to be fed. Connie got up to soothe them during the night, claiming it was the least he could do since you went though the pain of giving birth. Connie was there at every single milestone for their life, and he was never, ever going to stop being there for them; or for you.
Sasha
Oh boy, Sasha is the cool mom. When you two first adopted your child, she was admittedly a little awkward around them. But, after many late night snacks and a few bad cooking experiences, Sasha blossomed into a wonderful mom. She made sure they were eating properly and always had snacks on her. Your kids friends know that they will eat good when Sasha is around, and you two have become THE family. Sasha does tend to spoil them and say "yes" practically every time they ask for something, but they never try to manipulate that. You and Sasha both make sure your kid is kind and humble and thoughtful. With Sasha at your side, nothing is impossible and raising a child together was the best decision you two ever made.
Levi
Levi initially turned down the idea of having kids. Claiming that he was not fit to be a father, but fate wasn't having it. When you found out you were pregnant, you were worried to tell Levi. You knew he didn't want kids and you had grown to be content with that. What would he say when he found out? Would he leave you? Those thoughts sent you spiraling when Hange eventually let the cat out of the bag. Levi was silent but you could see in his eyes that was he happy. Even though he didn't want kids, he knew he wanted you. If that meant having to raise another brat then so be it. At first, he did the basics, changed their diapers, fed them, etc. But he never truly bonded with them until they were older and confided to Levi that they felt like an outsider looking in. He listened and did his best to offer advice and words of wisdom that might help. From then on, Levi was so much more involved and made sure that they were getting the life they deserved.
Erwin
Erwin was possibly the most excited to be a father. After everything, when things began settling down he approached you with the idea of trying for kids. At first you were the hesitating one, but Erwin was able to convince you to at least think about it. After a while, you were on board and baby, he got to work. It was along road, you had a miscarriage and that was demoralizing. Erwin made sure to support you the entire time. He understood that you may not want to try again and he was okay with that. It took you a year or so after for you to want to try again. But eventually, with enough effort and support, you gave birth to a beautiful baby. Erwin was in love with your child the moment he laid eyes on them. He spoiled them as much as he could, whenever he could. He was a dotting husband, and even more dotting father.
Hange
Oh boy, Hange is.. enthusiastic to say the least. They see it as a new experiment, at first. Hange takes your pulse every day, they measure how much you eat as well as your weight. When you gave birth, they were overwhelmed. There was a beautiful little bundle wrapped up in your arms and all Hange wanted was to hold them. Hange was so careful that you almost had to do a double-take. They held your child so gently, like glass. From then on, it was like the whole world vanished for them. They prioritized being there and being a parent over anything. Hange recorded all the milestones (first steps, first word, first tooth, etc) but they also recorded every other moment (like when they babbled for the first time, or when they first rolled over). But to Hange, they were all important moments.
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year
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“What the fuck are you wearing?”
Eddie’s voice rang out through Steve’s bedroom.
Steve jumped because, well, he was completely alone in his house less than a minute ago, and now Eddie Munson was standing in his doorway staring at him.
In a skirt.
Not like, a short one. Just one of Robin’s that she let him borrow with no explanation.
She kind of gave him a knowing look, but she didn’t say anything. She probably didn’t want to scare him or make him second guess himself or feel any of the shame he finally buried deep enough to even ask her for it.
It’s just when he first saw it in her closet, he fell in love with it. The way it flowed in just the right spots, how it hit above the hips (or he thought it would if he ever was brave enough to try it on), how the color was the exact shade of blue he always preferred.
And Robin never even wore it.
It was shoved in the back of her closet like a forgotten thing, never to see the light of day because then Robin would have to acknowledge something other than jeans or stupid pleated pants that were apparently “all the rage for lesbians, Steve!”
So he spent months picturing himself in it, touching the soft fabric any time he had to grab something from her closet, practicing asking to borrow it “for a girlfriend.” Practiced telling himself that skirts were only gendered because of society, or whatever bullshit spiel Robin had gone into when they saw a guy getting teased for wearing a dress in Indy.
And he believed it just fine when it came to others. Doesn’t make any man who is a man less of a man and all that.
But for him?
It’s just not allowed.
Until it was.
He was staying the night at Robin’s because they had to close and then open the next morning. She was showing him her new sweater she’d bought for her first date with Nancy that she refused to actually ask Nancy out on. When she opened the closet, he saw the edge of it.
“Can I borrow that?”
Robin looked at him like he’d gained ten heads.
“Borrow what? The sweater? No. This sweater cost more than most of my closet combined. It’s gonna be my magical confidence booster.”
“Not the sweater.” Steve took a deep breath. “The skirt.”
“Uh.”
“I mean. Not for me. Obviously. For someone else.”
Robin raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms.
“Uh. Do I know her?”
“Nope.”
“Does she need clothes or something? I can do a closet clean out to help.”
Steve loved Robin. She wasn’t exactly well-off, but she’d literally give the shirt off her back if it meant someone else would have clothes who needed them.
He only felt a little guilty about lying to her.
“No, no. Uh. Just the skirt. She saw one like it the other day and loved it so much. She couldn’t get that one so I think if she can just wear this one once she’ll get it out of her system, ya know?”
If he was talking about himself, that was only for him to know.
But he saw the way Robin was looking at him. She knew. No amount of coverup was going to make her not know. He could only hope she wouldn’t ask questions.
“Sure. She can try it and see if it gets out of her system. She could also keep it if it doesn’t though.”
Steve gulped.
“Really?”
Robin gave him a small smile, encouraging when he felt like he was going to throw up all over her ugly bedroom carpet.
“Yeah. God knows I won’t ever wear it unless I’m being forced to.”
“Okay.” Steve smiled and walked over to the closet. “I…she’s gonna be really excited about this. Thanks, Robs.”
“Anytime Dingus.”
He turned to look at Eddie standing in his doorway, face flush with embarrassment and shame. He didn’t want this to be the end of whatever was going on between him and Eddie.
They were dancing around each other according to Robin and Will and Dustin and Max.
They were being ridiculous according to Nancy and Jonathan and Wayne.
They were being cautious according to Eddie.
They were just taking it slow.
Steve hated it.
But he knew why Eddie wanted to be cautious; Rushing into a relationship built on shared trauma is probably worth taking a little time on.
And even if they have been basically dating for months, it’s totally fine that they haven’t even kissed.
And now they probably never will because Eddie just walked in while he was wearing the skirt.
He loved this skirt. He felt pretty. He loved that when he turned in a circle, it fluttered out just enough to look cute, but not enough to show a bunch of skin. He loved the way the color made his tanned skin just a bit lighter, and he glowed a little in the mirror.
But now he would always think of Eddie leaving him in the dust because of it.
“I just. I. Sorry.”
Steve looked down at his feet, trying to feel for the zipper along the side of the skirt to take it off before he made things worse. His hands were shaking, adrenaline pouring through him so quickly he couldn’t find where the zipper began.
He felt a hand on top of his, holding it firmly to keep it from moving anymore.
“Stevie. Look at me.”
As hard as it was to do it, Steve looked up at Eddie, tears already forming in his eyes.
“You look beautiful. Keep it on, let me see you.”
And even though the words were so kind and made Steve feel so much better, he let the tears fall from his eyes.
Hearing Eddie say it out loud, that he was beautiful and allowed to wear this if it made him feel beautiful, was almost too much for him to handle. His last set of scars had really done a number on his self-confidence, but this skirt had given him hope for the first time in almost a year that he’d feel good in his skin again. Eddie had the power to tear him back down, but of course he hadn’t. He made it better, like he always did.
Eddie pulled his hand away from the skirt, holding it up and twirling him in a circle.
Steve giggled.
When was the last time he did that?
Never, maybe.
Eddie’s smile was contagious as they looked at each other with matching beaming smiles. He was staring at Steve’s face now.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy, sweetheart.” Eddie reached his unoccupied hand out to touch the waistline of the skirt. “I don’t think you know how incredible you look when you’re happy.”
What does a person even do with a compliment like that?
Pass out? Kiss? Die?
Steve settled on kissing Eddie.
It was time to move beyond whatever they’d been doing. Steve couldn’t wait any more.
If Eddie was going to not only accept this part of Steve that Steve had barely even accepted of himself, but also encourage him to feel beautiful, then Steve was going headfirst into this.
Their lips met harshly at first, Steve being a bit overzealous and misjudging how close they already were.
But within seconds, Eddie was slowing it down, placing both hands on Steve’s cheeks to control the pace better. He was licking along Steve’s bottom lip, silently asking for entrance, but not moving and faster or demanding anything more than what Steve wanted.
When they parted for air, Eddie rested his forehead against Steve’s, eyes blinking open slowly.
“You like the skirt?” Steve asked with a smirk.
“I love the person in it. I like whatever he feels best in.”
Steve sat with that for a moment, but recovered quickly.
“You love me?”
“Can’t imagine how you didn’t know, sweetheart.”
“Just didn’t know it was like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like the real kind. The kind where you love someone enough to love the things they love even if you aren’t sure what to do with it.”
“I love you the real kind.”
Eddie was smiling at him when he pulled away and left a kiss on the corner of his mouth.
“I love you the most kind.”
“I love you the best kind.”
Steve laughed.
“Can we dance?”
“If you want.”
“I wanna take the skirt for a test drive.”
Eddie settled his hands on Steve’s hips and started humming a song that was definitely not usually for a slow dance, but sounded nice enough for them.
When Eddie spun Steve out and twirled him back into his arms, and his skirt moved in just the right ways, he felt more like himself than he ever had before.
And when Eddie bought him his own skirt from a store in Indy the next time they had a date night, he let himself feel pretty in a way he didn’t think was possible.
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Time.
You get shot in Colombia. Frankie, Benny, Santiago and Will all have their own ways of helping you heal.
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Pairing - Santiago Garcia, Frankie Morales, Benny Miller, Will Miller x female reader
Age Rating - 18+
Warnings - Cursing, mentions of blood, gunshots
Word Count - 4329
Author's Note - hi lovely people. i loved writing this one so much oh my :( those four boys in one movie together is a dream. and i don't know if you noticed, but i have a real soft spot for will. and yes, i did photoshop ben afflecks character out of that picture. more than happy to write for any of the triple frontier boys individually - just send me an ask! as always, lots of love x
my other triple frontier fics - Tethered, Tranquility and Home Is Where The Heart Is.
Masterlist. Requests.
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It’s been 6 days since you were shot.
6 days of blood, pain, sterility, stitches, hazy memories that float into your consciousness like smoke in the air.
You somehow remember it both clear as day and blurry as night.
The metallic taste of copper in your mouth, clear as day.
The searing, burning pain in your side, clear as day.
The panicked looks on the boys faces, the yelling, the frantic scrambling – clear as day.
The rest of it? Blurry as night.
You can’t remember getting home. One minute you were bleeding out on the ground in Colombia, and the next minute you’re back on US soil, lying in a bed in Houston Methodist Hospital.
You can’t remember your discharge. You fell asleep on those sterile, crinkly white sheets, and woke up in a soft bed, wrapped in a navy blue comforter that smells like Will.
All you’ve known for the last 6 days is sleep. That molten sleep that moves like molasses, warm and slow and sticky. The sun rises and sets, and you’re none the wiser. Floating aimlessly through unconsciousness, just you and your dreams.
Unbeknownst to you, you haven’t been alone for a minute since you got home. The boys have taken turns sitting by your bedside, heart rates rising whenever you stir. All of them silently processing what all of this means, for you and for them.
It was damn close. Too much blood. Pints after pints after pints of it. Pouring over Will’s hands, soaking into Benny’s jeans, slipping beneath Santiago’s boots, choking the air around Frankie where his forehead was pressed to yours, begging you to stay awake. All of them wondering the same thing – where has all of this come from? Surely one person can’t have so much blood in them. It can’t all be from her.
The Doctor said that you got lucky. Any more blood loss and you’d have lost your life too. Your surgeon said that you owed your life to whoever stopped the bleeding.
William ‘Ironhead’ Miller. He’d shoved his hand straight into the wound, applying as much pressure as he could without breaking any ribs. It was the worst thing he’d ever seen, but he was in fight or flight mode. He knew it had to be fight. He hoped you were making the same choice as you were lying there, breath rattling in your chest like pennies in a tin can.
Some would call it a miracle. Divine intervention, perhaps. You shouldn’t have survived. Scientifically, statistically, you should have died right there on that floor, in a mission gone wrong. Tragic accident. Caught in the crossfire. Collateral damage.
But you didn’t. Now, you’re half conscious in Will’s guest bedroom, enveloped by his scent. Warm, cozy, safe, and alive. You’re struggling to stay awake for more than ten, fifteen minutes at a time. It’s all catching up to you. You had to fight so hard to take each breath, that now you’re exhausted. The kind of exhaustion that sleep can’t fix. No, it’s settled into your gut, wrapped it’s limbs around your bones. It keeps you weighed down and heavy, a reminder of the trauma. You’re alive, but you’re tired. So tired.
The boys are worried. Worried beyond belief. When the Doctor told them she was happy to discharge you, reality hit the four of them like a high-speed freight train. How do they navigate this? You can’t go home. You can’t be by yourself. They’re all back on Texan soil, which means work, and family, and bills to pay, and routines to carry out. How do they factor in the woman they call their best friend, who’s currently in the deepest sleep of her life with a healing bullet hole in her side?
“I’ll take her,” Will had said. “She can stay with me, in my guest room. You guys can come over whenever you want. I have the most space, anyway.”
That was true. Santiago and Benny live in apartments, bachelor pads really, and Frankie’s second bedroom is his daughter’s room. She was only with him on weekends, but she needed a place to sleep, so that was him out of the question. Having you stay with Will made the most sense. They all agreed to come and sit with you in shifts, so Will could go to the grocery store, or for a run, or to take a shower. The Doctor never actually said that you needed twenty four hour surveillance, but the boys thought it would be best. Just in case.
So that’s exactly what they did. You’re on bed rest, and they’re all happy to play nurse for a few hours during the day, and to leave you with Will during the night. He’s been sneaking in to sleep in the armchair next to your bed. His room, a mere ten feet away, feels too far. He wants to be able to hear if you need his help. Just in case.
None of the boys quite know how to treat you. They don’t want to act any differently around you, but it’s hard not to. They haven’t seen you like that before. You, a force to be reckoned with. The backbone of the group. You, with your sharp wit, quick humor, blinding smile. You, who always seems to be a step ahead of them. You, a pillar of strength, proving yourself just as capable in this world designed for men. Lying on the ground, painted crimson, you looked fragile. Small. Frail. You looked so… innocent. So afraid. That was the scariest part for all of them – seeing the fear in your eyes. They’ve never seen that before. They never want to again.
So, they all take their different approaches. They cope the best way that each of them knows how.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
When Frankie visits, he always brings a book.
Cracking open the door, he pops his head around the frame, smiling as he sees both you and Will asleep – him in the chair, you cozy in bed. He gently squeezes the blond man’s shoulder, whispering as he wakes.
“I got her for a while. You go do what you need to do.”
Will shoots him a grateful smile and stretches his arms above his head, before padding out of the room, softly shutting the door behind him.
Frankie opens the curtains, letting the soft morning light fill the room. It illuminates your face, catches on the strands of your hair, making it glow. You look like an angel, in this orange haze. But Frankie already knew that.
Your eyes flutter open, and land straight on the broad man standing next to your bed, trusty cap sat atop his head. You smile, and his heart stops for a second. God, he’s missed that sight. All of the tension from the last week leaves his shoulders, and he sinks into the armchair next to you.
“Hi, Francisco,” you whisper, voice slightly hoarse from minimal use.
“Hi, cariño,” he whispers back. “You doing okay?”
You nod, golden smile still etched on your face. The wound in your side is a dull ache, and the psychological pain keeps washing over you in spontaneous waves. But you’re okay.
“You here to babysit me?” you tease.
He smirks, which is all the answer you needed.
“You don’t need to. I’m okay, I swear,” you insist.
He looks at you and quirks an eyebrow, the corners of his lips still turning up slightly.
“Well, you’re my baby, and I’m sitting,” he winks. “Now that we’ve established that, what do you wanna do for the next few hours?”
His abysmal attempt at a joke makes you chuckle, which in turn makes you wince, pain shooting through your abdomen. He jumps out of his chair towards you, placing a hand on your cheek gently.
“Shit, querida. I’m sorry. Are you alright? Do you need anything?”
Breathing deep and slow, you tilt your head to meet his eyes.
“Yes. For you to stop fussing. Sit down, Francisco. Your nervous energy is making me stressed.”
He exhales carefully, and presses a kiss onto the top of your head.
“Yes ma’am.”
He returns to his original place, and grabs a book from the nightstand.
“Have you read this already?” he asks, showing you the cover.
You shake your head, and he flips to the first page.
“It sounds good, actually. You comfy, cielito?”
You nod gently, holding his gaze. He flashes you one of his signature smiles – the rare, genuine, time stopping ones – and begins to read softly, in that dulcet, honeyed voice of his.
He reads to you for hours. You were only awake for 45 minutes, but he continued reading aloud anyway. Morning becomes afternoon, yellow sunlight beating through the open window. A gentle breeze blows the curtains and ruffles Frankie’s hair that is ever so slightly too long for his liking. He’d be perfectly content to read to you like this forever. He’s gotten so into the plot of the book that he doesn’t notice Will stood in the doorframe, watching with those careful eyes of his. They gleam blue in the sunlight, his golden hair glinting like citrine. He eventually catches Frankie’s eyes, and the older man makes his way over to the door, both boys talking in hushed whispers so as not to wake you.
“Has she been okay?” Will asks, eyes scanning your sleeping form.
“Perfectly fine. She was awake for about 45 minutes,” Frankie replies, pride evident in his tone.
“That’s the longest she’s been conscious since. Progress, huh?” Will smiles. Frankie can’t help but smile too. A week ago, they were huddled around your lifeless body, hands deep and bloody in your wound. Now, they’re watching you slumber peacefully, life returned to you like a gift from the universe.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
When Benny visits, he brings comfort with him.
He uses his key to let himself into Will’s house quietly, aware that you’re most likely asleep. It’s been a week and a half since everything happened, and while you’re awake more and more each day, you’re also still on bed rest.
Creeping up the stairs and peeking his head around the door that’s ajar, he finds Will sat at the end of your bed. You’re awake, but barely. The light shines from the hallway into the bedroom, and illuminates your tear stained cheeks.
Will wipes your cheekbone with his thumb gently, and moves to meet his brother. The older Miller pulls Benny into the hallway, shutting your door momentarily.
“She’s having a real bad day. The worst since she’s been home. The memories are flooding back man, they’re drowning her.”
All the colour is gone from Will’s face. He looks helpless. His brother hates it.
“I don’t know how to help her,” Will continues. “The tears won’t stop. It’s like every time she calms down, another nightmare takes her by surprise. I don’t know what to do, Ben. I don’t know what to do.”
Will’s voice is shaking, tears threatening to spill from those cerulean eyes. He has a hand fisted into the front of Benny’s shirt, as if he’s grounding himself. There’s something unsettling about seeing the calmest person in the room start panicking. Benny doesn’t like it.
“Hey, it’s okay. She’s gonna have bad days, that’s a given. Go get some fresh air, go for a drive or something. I’ve got her. I ain’t gonna leave her.”
Benny looks pointedly at his big brother, and inhales deeply. They exhale together, and Will wipes his face with the back of his hand.
“Are you sure?”
Benny nods. Will trusts him.
“Okay. Call me if you need anything and I will come straight back. I mean it, Ben. Anything.”
Benny pulls his brother into his chest, holding him for a moment. Will isn’t used to being the glue holding everything together, he thinks. It’s usually you.
Will pulls away and starts his journey down the stairs, momentarily pausing to watch Benny straighten his shoulders and clear his throat before opening your door carefully.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he smiles.
You don’t feel gorgeous. No, you feel like you’ve shattered into a million pieces in William Miller’s guest bedroom. The weight of your trauma has come crashing down on top of you suddenly. It’s suffocating and it’s choking you and no matter how many times you inhale, your lungs won’t fill with air. Tears keep streaking down your cheeks despite your best efforts to stifle them. You wonder if you’ll feel like this forever – forced to carry around the weight of surviving something that you weren’t supposed to.
Benny’s never been any good with words. So he tells you what he needs to with his actions instead.
He kicks off his shoes and shrugs off his jacket, throwing it on the chair. Then, he unbuttons his jeans and slides them off his legs, tossing them sideways with haphazard aim. The last thing to go is his t shirt, which he shucks over his head with ease, landing somewhere with the rest of his clothes. He moves across the room towards you and pulls back the comforter. He strokes your cheek with his knuckles gently, looking at you carefully to gauge your reaction. When he’s satisfied, he climbs into bed behind you, pulling you mindfully to sit in between his legs, his chest pressed to your back. He pulls the comforter back up over the two of you, and uses his arms to cage you in to him, enveloping you in his warmth.
Benny’s always run hot. You joke that he’s like a walking space heater, a radiator if you ever need one. Right now, it’s like having your own ball of sunshine, warming you gently from the outside in. You feel the safest you have in two weeks.
“Relax, baby,” he murmurs into your hair. He pulls you in tighter, and nudges your head to rest in the crook of his neck. You inhale deeply – the first real breath you’ve been able to take all day. He smells like sunshine, and salt, and sandalwood, and safety. You relax into him and let all the tension leave your body. You let go of the flashbacks, and the fear, and the chaos, and surrender yourself to Benny.
He stays with you like that for three days. He doesn’t separate himself from you more than a few inches for 72 whole hours, keeping his arms wrapped around you from behind, as if holding you together. When he gets up to go to the bathroom, he takes you with him. You stay attached for three days, skin to skin, allowing his warmth to seep into your bones, to settle your nerves. You’re convinced that no medicine could heal you the way Benny is. Science doesn’t have a match for this. It never will.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
When Santiago visits, he brings his guitar.
The first time he came to see you, right at the beginning, he sat with you for 20 minutes before he careened out of the room, gasping for air. The silence was strangling him, sending him into some sort of panic attack. Then, the guilt settled, and he felt like he’d betrayed you so badly that he couldn’t bring himself to go back in. He sat on the floor of the hallway with his back pressed against the door for 6 hours before Will returned home, concern coursing through his veins.
When Santiago explained what had happened, Will looked at him knowingly.
“You don’t have to be deathly silent, you know. You can watch some TV, turn the radio on. Frankie reads to her. Benny talks her ear off - doesn’t stop fucking rambling. I walked in the other day and he was explaining the current state of the NBA to her, team by team. She’ll sleep no matter what.”
Santiago nods, patting Will on the back lovingly before leaving, weighed down by shame.
The next time he visits, he brings his guitar.
If he’s honest with himself, he’s hoping you’ll be asleep. It’s easier to play for you if you aren’t looking at him like he hung the moon with those big, bright eyes of yours. But, lo and behold, he walks into the room you’ve made your own, and you’re wide awake.
“Hi, handsome,” you smile. “Where you been?”
“Oh, you know,” he smirks, “just caring for all the pretty girls that need my help.”
“And here I thought I was special,” you tease.
That smile of yours wraps itself around his heart, tangling in the core of him. You’ve always had that effect on the boys. One grin from you, and all of their problems melt away, even if just for a moment.
“You staying today, or you gonna run away again?”
You’re joking with him. Why are you trying to make him laugh? You should be upset, telling him that he’s a bad friend, that all of the other boys have sat with you for hours, so why can’t he?
But instead, you continue.
“I’m kidding, Santi. I get it, you know. I don’t think I’d be able to sit in a room with you lying there all half dead and helpless if the roles were reversed.”
You’re looking at him with so much understanding in your eyes that he has to choke down the tears that are trying to escape from him.
“It’s not that. It’s just – it’s my fault, bebita. You wouldn’t have even been in Colombia if it wasn’t for me. I’m the reason you got shot.”
He’s crying now – heavy, ugly sobs crawling their way from his chest, up to his throat. His knees give out, and he sits on the side of the bed, hands fisting in your comforter.
“Santi, baby. Hey. Look at me. Please, Pope.”
Your pleading gets his attention. He looks at you with those red rimmed, watery eyes, and your heart breaks so hard you swear you can hear it shatter.
“It wasn’t your fault, Santi. I followed you out there voluntarily. We all did. You know I’d follow you anywhere. I still would. It could have been any of us that got hurt. I’m glad it was me. I wouldn’t be able to stand seeing any of you in a hospital bed. It’d break me.”
You’re crying now too, at the thought of one of the boys in your situation. The bullets, the blood, the makeshift bandages they shoved into your side, ripping their shirts and tearing apart anything they could find. You couldn’t have survived that, if the roles were reversed. You wouldn’t have wanted to.
You press your forehead to his, hands tangling in the front of his shirt. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into his chest, needing you as close as possible.
You fall asleep like that, face pressed into him, his heartbeat in your ear. Santiago tucks you back into bed gently and takes his place in the armchair, settling down. Pulling his guitar out of the case, he tunes it slowly, meticulously, before beginning to strum the strings carefully. He picks at the strings, playing you tune after tune, only stopping to stretch his arms and crack his knuckles. He plays for you for hours, time slipping by him like sand through his palms. When you wake, you keep your eyes closed, savouring his presence for just a moment longer.
✵  ✵    ·  ✵    *  · ✵
Will doesn’t visit.
He sticks steadily by your side, day in, day out. If Frankie visits for 6 hours, Will sits with you for the other 18. When Benny holds you for 3 days, Will gets anxious, popping his head around the doorframe every few hours, checking in just in case. Since everything happened, Will’s whole universe has revolved around you. Which, he’s realising, is the way it’s always been. His whole world has always been you. He’s just been forced to confront that truth now, and it’s scaring him.
He’s suddenly aware of the fact that he almost lost you. He’s never felt fear like that before. He’s had men press guns to his temple, shoot at him from mere feet away, fight him with their fists. That’s nothing, now. He’d take that any day over watching you lie there, drenched in crimson, dripping with pain. His hands, twisted into your side, wet and slipping, trying to quell the dam that’s broken inside of you. Your eyes, looking into his, terror grasping your whole body like a cold chill. When he falls asleep at night, all he can hear is the way you said his name, like it was the last thing tethering you to the Earth.
He makes a silent vow to himself. A promise - to never let you go again. To protect you forever, no matter what. All of this trauma has just made him love you more. He’s not sure what the future will look like, for him, or for you. But he knows that right now, you need him.
And so he pours all of his love into his actions. He makes you breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and sits with you as you eat slowly. He eats at your speed, too - always doing everything at your pace. He combs your hair every morning gently, brushes your teeth twice a day carefully. He tucks you in when you fall asleep, pulling the comforter around you, keeping you safe and warm. As soon as one of the other boys leaves, he takes their place, sitting in the armchair – making sure you’re never alone. Whenever you’re awake, he listens to you pointedly, nodding and smiling. When you have a bad day, he’s right there next to you, wiping the tears from your cheeks and murmuring reassurances gently.
He watches as slowly but surely, you come back to yourself. You’re awake more often, smiling more confidently, cracking jokes and asking for laughs. The two of you are chatting like you used to, about nothing and everything. And you watch as slowly but surely, he returns to Will. The frown lines in his forehead become less pronounced, the worry in his eyes fades slightly. The smiles he throws your way are bigger, more genuine. The scales balance out again.
You’ve been in bed for two weeks when you decide to ask him for a favor.
“Hey, Will?” you query, looking at the blond man who’s currently folding laundry on the dresser.
“Yeah, sweetheart?” he replies instantly, ready to give you anything you could possibly ask for.
“Can we go outside? I think I might go insane in this room real soon,” you smile, bright and bold.
He beams at you, relief washing over him like an ocean wave. You haven’t left your bed for a fortnight. He’s offered a couple of times, but you refused, scared to leave the comfort of the safe haven you’ve created. But you’re ready now.
“Of course we can. You want me to carry you?”
His tone is light, jesting, but you know he’s being serious. Neither of you are actually sure if you can walk all the way outside.
“I can walk if you carry me down the stairs? Not sure I’m quite ready for those yet.”
He grins at you, and your heart stops. That smile of his seeps into your pores, lifts you up, sends energy flowing through your veins. You’re alive, and you’re okay, and Will Miller is looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky. You feel invincible.
Admittedly, it does take you 20 minutes to get from your room to the back patio. Will throws a strong arm beneath yours, holding you up as you take the journey step by step. When you reach the stairs, he picks you up bridal style, carrying you carefully. Before he sets you back on your feet, he nudges his nose to yours, still grinning.
The sun soaks into your skin outside, gentle breeze rippling your t shirt that you’re now realising is Benny’s. The leaves rustle in the trees, and you inhale the world, as if seeing it again for the first time. Will sits right next to you on the bench, hand holding yours tightly, fingers interlaced as if he’s worried you’ll blow away.
You glance at Will’s watch and see that it’s only 1pm. You have so much time left. So many possibilities to be fulfilled, so many people to love, so many places to see. But for now, you press yourself into the blond man’s side, settling in. You fit perfectly. Almost as if this is where you belong.
“Can’t believe I almost died without telling you I love you,” you murmur. It’s quiet, but he hears you, loud and clear.
“It’s okay,” he reassures. “You’re here now. We have time. So much time.”
“Forever,” you whisper. “We have forever.”
He turns to look at you in the hues of the bright afternoon. His blond hair is glowing gold, and his blue eyes match the sky, hopeful and full of promise. His hands come up to cradle your face, and he caresses your cheeks with his thumbs, rubbing comforting circles into your skin. He moves in closer, and nudges his nose into yours. He breaks out into a grin, and you can’t help but join him. Leaning in, he presses his lips to yours, soft and reassuring. You melt into him, running one hand into his hair, the other at the nape of his neck. He pulls you impossibly closer, until every part of you is pressed together. The sun is still beaming, and the birds are chirping, and you have time.
“Forever,” he whispers into your mouth when he breaks the kiss.
“Forever,” you murmur back. “We have time.”
You have time.
You have time.
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not-another-leon-blog · 8 months
Text
Aftermath
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DI! Leon Kennedy x Fem!Reader
Summary– How your son (doesn’t) deal with the aftermath of Alcatraz. Word count: 2345 S/n– Son’s name D/n– Daughter’s name A/N: has a slightly heavier focus on Leon and his son, a sequel to Family Matters / Aftermath / Out Together
You were right about one thing following the incident in San Francisco: You and Leon wouldn’t be sleeping alone for a long time. For almost the past month, D/n had practically moved into your bedroom, too scared to sleep alone even with her nightlight. Neither of you minded, though. You’d be more concerned if she never came to you at all.
Which was the case with S/n. Not once had he come crawling into bed between you. He hadn’t even sprawled himself across the foot of the bed like he sometimes did during thunderstorms. 
Had it been any other situation, you probably would have commended him for braving through his fears. But you knew all too well how difficult it was to have to deal with the consequences of the viruses and the mutations they brought with them. And with S/n being only eight years old, it had to be harder for him.
“I’m worried about him,” you said to Leon one day. The kids were at school and for once Leon’s vacation days had gone uninterrupted. 
He’d been thinking the same thing for a while now. S/n had changed since they came home. He was quiet, reserved. His grades had fallen and he hadn’t shown interest in doing much of anything. He knew they wouldn’t be able to keep the viruses a secret forever, he just never imagined the twins finding out so soon. And in such an intense way.
“I know.” He leaned against the dining table. “He pretends to sleep at night.” It had become almost routine for him to get up at some point in the night to check on S/n. “I’ve tried talking to him, but he won’t listen.”
You saw the droop in his shoulders, the defeated look in his eyes. The both of you were stumped when it came to getting through to your son. Unlike him, D/n was easier to read. She wore her heart on her sleeve and sought out support and help more often than her brother. 
Your phone began to ring. As you went to answer, Leon continued to think of ways to get through to his son. Maybe they were trying too hard. Maybe he just needed to wait for S/n to come to them to talk. But S/n was stubborn and Leon knew that despite his youth, he felt like he needed to be the more responsible twin (though he’d been born only a minute before his sister) and that drove him to keep most of his negative thoughts to himself.
“We need to go pick up the twins,” you told him as you hung up the phone. 
“Why? What happened?” That surprised him. They’d never been called to pick up either of the twins early from school before. It wasn’t even noon yet.
You sighed. “I don’t know. Something about a fight with a couple other kids.”
Leon slipped on one of his leather jackets and grabbed his keys, gesturing for you to follow him. Together, the two of you drove to the school in silence. There was no use in being upset with them (unless, of course, it was justified). Mostly, you were upset with yourselves.
The day you had told Leon you were pregnant, he was beyond terrified. If Raccoon City had never happened, if these viruses and monsters never existed, maybe he would have been excited. Make no mistake, he adored his children and would go to the ends of the earth for them, but back then the thought of bringing new life into a world like this felt like the scariest thing in the world. And now, in his eyes, he had failed his kids. They’d been thrown right into the face of danger and now had to deal with the trauma of it. 
You reached the school and made your way to the front office. D/n and S/n were sitting just outside of the principal’s office. Their hair was a mess and S/n had ripped holes in his jeans. Dirt was smeared on D/n’s cheek and the braid you’d done for her had come loose. They both avoided your eyes.
The principal’s door opened. “Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy?”
~~
“I’m sure both of you are aware that we don’t condone fighting in this school. We have a very strict anti-bullying policy,” the principal started. 
“Of course,” you replied. “Though, we would like to know exactly what happened.”
“They were involved in a fight during their lunch hour,” the principal said simply. “The other kids are currently in the nurse's office with busted lips and bloody noses.” The explanation seemed simple enough. But surely there had to be more to it.
“Mind if we get the kids in here?” Leon asked pointedly. He wasn’t satisfied with this version of events. The principal nodded and Leon went back to the door, opening it just enough to usher the twins inside.
“They have no prior behavioral issues,” the principal said, “but given the circumstances, at the very least they will be on a three-day suspension.”
“Let’s hear their side first,” Leon said firmly, folding his arms across his chest. 
They were quiet. D/n began picking at her fingers and chewing the inside of her cheek. S/n’s eyes were narrowed and his jaw locked. You knew that look despite how rare it was to see. He was usually such a happy boy but right now, he was angry. Downright furious even.
“They wouldn’t leave D/n alone,” he spat.
“What were they doing to D/n?” Leon asked.
“Pulling her hair. They called her a crybaby.”
You turned back to the principal. “I thought you didn’t tolerate bullying?”
The principal stumbled over his words and went red in the face, trying to find a way out of the corner he’d found himself backed into. “With all due respect, Mrs. Kennedy, if that is indeed what happened, instigating a fight is inexcusable.”
“Is that what happened, D/n?” you asked her. She nodded.
Leon’s own frustration was starting to show. He was done with this conversation. “Let’s go.”
“Mr. Kennedy,” the principal started, “This situation must be addressed.”
“Look, I don’t encourage my kids to fight–” the principal shrunk into his chair, “ – but as I see it, my son was protecting his sister. Had your lunch monitors done their job, maybe we wouldn’t be here.”
The principal was speechless. Leon put a hand on each of the twins’ shoulders and gently nudged them back to the door. You stood and began to follow them. “Thank you for your time, sir.”
~~
The ride home was as silent as the ride to the school. Every now and then Leon glanced at the rearview mirror only to see S/n staring intently out the window. He could only guess at what his son was thinking. Above all, he hoped S/n wasn’t replaying San Francisco over and over in his head. Yet, he knew that was the reason they were here.
S/n was too young to process something like that and Leon will spend the rest of his life regretting the whole thing. But for now, he needed to find a way to help his son cope. He couldn’t have him going around busting lips and breaking noses (even if it was deserved).
As for D/n, Leon had decided to leave her to you for now. Even though she was a daddy’s girl through and through, his attention needed to be on S/n.
“Y/n,” he said as he pulled into the driveway, “go ahead and take D/n inside. I’m gonna have a talk with him.”
You nodded and climbed out of the car, D/n following close behind you.
There was a beat of silence.
“If you’re gonna yell, just do it,” S/n mumbled.
“I’m not gonna yell at you.” Leon turned in his seat. “I understand why you did what you did. But why didn’t you go get a teacher?”
S/n frowned and turned his gaze to his shoes. “I was…”
“But?”
He scoffed and shook his head, his hair falling in front of his eyes. Leon sighed and got out of the car, only to round it and get into the back seat with him. He put a comforting hand on top of his head.
S/n bottom lip began to quiver. His breathing became heavy and he wrapped his arms tight around himself. Leon swore he felt his heart snap in two at the sound of his son’s cry. Tears streamed down his face and his body shook with sobs. Leon unbuckled his seat belt and pulled him into his side, his shirt quickly becoming soaked with tears.
“I can still hear it!” Dylan Blake may be dead, but the damage he left behind would take a long time to heal, if ever. “I see it when I try to sleep!” S/n pressed himself as close to Leon as he could, as if he were trying to sink into him.
“It’s okay, bud,” he said quietly, slowly rocking back and forth. He desperately wanted to take the pain away. To erase the memories, rewrite the past or avoid it altogether. S/n cried harder, holding onto Leon like he was a lifeline.
It felt like hours had passed before S/n began to calm down. His sobs turned to sniffles and the tears slowly came to a stop. His grip on Leon’s shirt never loosened.
“W-why do you do it?” S/n whimpered.
Leon wiped his thumb over S/n’s cheek. “To keep you safe.” He held him just a bit tighter. “I do it so you’ll never have to.”
“B-but what i-if you… never come back?” Finally, S/n looked up at Leon. For that, he wasn’t sure he had an answer. He knew it was a very real possibility that one day he might leave and not come home. 
“Don’t you worry about that.” He kissed the top of his head. 
“Can’t you q-quit?”
“I wish I could.” It’s what he wants more than anything. He wanted to be home with his family. He wanted to watch them grow up and not have to worry about anything more than them coming home before curfew. If only it was that simple. 
He pulled away slightly. “I know you were protecting your sister, but you can’t be fighting in school. Even if they deserve it.” S/n nodded. He hugged him again. “I love you, bud. You don’t have to keep all this to yourself.”
“I love you, too,” S/n replied.
Leon shrugged out of his leather jacket and wrapped it around his son. “Take care of this for me, will ya?”
He slipped his arms into the sleeves. The jacket nearly swallowed him whole. “It’s too big.”
Leon chuckled and ruffled his hair. “You’ll grow into it. Let’s get inside.”
~~
You were starting to get worried by the time Leon and S/n came inside. You’d already managed to get the full story out of D/n and had her washing dishes in the kitchen. Not only had S/n started the fight, she had chosen to take part and help him instead of standing off to the side. At least you could take comfort in the fact that they’d stand by each other no matter what.
S/n waddled in wearing Leon’s jacket and went straight to the dining room table with his backpack, getting right to work on whatever homework needed to be done.
Leon came to stand beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist. “Let’s take them out tomorrow,” he suggested. With the kids out of school for the next few days, it would be a good opportunity for him to bond with them.
“What did you have in mind?”
“Sports park?” It would be a healthy way for them to get out the stress they’d been carrying. “Get them to wack a few out in a batting cage?”
You considered it for a moment. Since coming home from San Francisco the twins had only ever gone from the house to school and back again. They needed a change in scenery. “Sounds like a good idea to me.”
“It’s settled then.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead and went to check on S/n while you went to start dinner.
For the first time in a while, there was a sense of peace that almost resembled normalcy. Alcatraz wasn’t at the forefront of your mind as the four of you ate and prepared for bed. Soon you found yourself tucked against Leon’s side in bed. D/n had chosen to sleep in her room tonight, though you were prepared to wake up with her between you in the morning.
The television droned on with some old comedy while you traced random shapes on Leon’s chest. “It looks like you got through to him today,” you said. S/n was noticeably less tense at dinner than he had been these past few days.
“Yeah. Little guy’s got a lot going on in there.” Progress was made and it brought him some relief. S/n had opened up to him just a little bit, and he wouldn’t ask for anything more right now. The door creaked open and S/n peeked inside nervously. 
He hesitated before asking, “Can I sleep here tonight?”
The two of you offered him soft smiles. “Sure, sweetie.” You scooted away from Leon to offer him the space in between. S/n nearly jumped into bed with you, almost as if he’d change his mind if he didn’t. Leon switched the television off and reached across to wrap his arm around the both of you.
“Will I ever stop thinking about it?” S/n held your hand tight as he nuzzled against Leon.
Leon kissed the top of his head. Deep down, he knew Alcatraz was something S/n would never truly forget. “One day, it’ll just be a bad dream.”
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