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ilkkawhat · 1 year

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[posted on ao3 too, just something short for the appreciation week theme though there's some themes I'd love to expand upon someday.]

Twenty four hours.

It was just twenty four hours.

Maybe twenty five, it was hard to keep track towards the end when the fan stopped whirring, and his watch stopped ticking.

He was laying down the entire time, the each edge of his finger- and toenails, each strand on his hair, each bone in his body still rattles him with waking numbness. His mouth and nose and skin still tickle with the ant bites speckled all over his body.

The nurses had scrubbed him clean, he tried to scrub himself clean, but here he sits in a bathtub in the thankful privacy of his own house, still scrubbing because the dirt is somehow still there, and the itching just won’t stop.

He figures if he scratches himself in the tub, then nobody will see the blood that mixes with the soapy, dirty water.

One reason he doesn’t take baths anymore is simply that he doesn’t fit. He has to bend his knees up, hang a foot out, or sit straight up with the water not even reaching his heart—a heart that’s somehow still beating.

He didn’t quite fit in the box, either. Being the runt of the litter, he always wished to be taller than he was, and it’s like the design of the glass coffin was meant to mock that.

Granted, it’s not like it was designed for comfort anyway. Even if Nick was given enough leg and arm room, wouldn’t that have been more maddening? And somehow less…comforting compared to how he had to basically hug himself, like he’s hugging himself now as the water floods around him.

He can hear a voice warning him to stop scratching the itches, and another that warns him to get out of the tub and maybe take a jog instead because he’s been too still for far too long.

But it was his mother’s voice he listened to, pouring oatmeal into the tub just like she had when he got chicken pox as a kid.

He remembers having a rubber duck as a bath toy, and remembers the night he stopped playing with it. The day he decided he was done being a kid, tired of being picked on and made fun of by his brothers and so called “friends” at school, and for some reason he was starting to feel even more tired of being treated like a child being fawned over. His mother, who had started to pull a lot of overtime as his father was equally as busy, suddenly found the time to be there for him when he caught the pox from the trade of it going around the playground.

The soft-buzzing light in the middle of the ceiling starts to flicker. He forgot to change the bulb before he left for work that night. Even his father made an offhand comment with a subtle offer for help in the similar way his mother was picking things up around the house.

They weren’t there when he really needed them. Granted, he never really told them when he did.

And maybe in the advice that he at first stubbornly scoffed at but still took, perhaps his mother was just trying to get back to that time when he needed her. Needed both of them, the parents that he felt guilty in sending away to a hotel but...he wasn’t quite sure that he wasn’t going to abandon ship himself and hole up in one himself.

He finds himself staring at the showerhead above and realizes why he feels so vulnerable; did Nigel watch him take showers and baths, peeping in at his most vulnerable, just as they had all watched him for over a day, fighting a not quite so visible struggle for his own sanity, his own life?

It’s stupid, he thinks, to be well, thinking at all about any of this. Any of that. The past is in the past. What happened, happened and there’s nothing he can do now about it.

The tub overflows with a splash to the floor, he quickly turns the faucet off.

But he could have stopped it.

He let his guard down. It wasn’t the first time he had been caught like that, in a naive moment thinking they had the right guy but the real killer was just footsteps behind him, and he was going to be next—but…it was the first time he had been captured like that. Hogtied, stuffed in a trunk like a piece of trash tossed into a hole and buried as if he were already dead.

With a gun. His trigger finger itches the most, his hand still twitching but it’s that finger that’s somehow…frozen. Wrapped around an invisible trigger.

He was given a gun. That faceless asshole couldn’t even do it himself, he wanted Nick to do it and why? To make the world see how his daughter got screwed over by CSIs like him? What good would that even do?

The light goes out and he…he sighs in relief.

Anybody else would have become scared of the dark but then again, he was never really in it, was he? He always had the glowstick, even if its life was ending.

He didn’t have this…complete silence, either. Save for maybe the odd drip from the faucet, it’s nice not to have the soft, teasing whir of the fan that was keeping him alive that…is not here right now. He turns to the right, where it was before. His ear pricks up. It’s not there. He’s in the dark, his legs tucked in, his arms can’t seem to break the surface of the water.

And worst of all, he can’t breathe.

How much longer could he have lasted?

“Nicky? You okay in there?”

Another minute, or another hour?

“I’m coming in, okay?”

Another day?

The water’s gone cold, and he’s shivering. Goosebumps all over his skin, he flinches at the sudden burst of light but doesn’t seem to recognize where it’s coming from. The soap bubbles are fizzing away, small little explosions of soap on his skin. It’s just as bad as the raining bullets of the shower, reminding him how his skin is no longer smooth but a rough, rugged, infected terrain.

In holding his breath, he can only hear the struggling burst of air pounding inside his ears.

“Hey.”

Warrick nudges Nick with the extension of his hand, lifting the white-knuckled fist out of the water and detangling Nick’s fingers to merge with his own. Nick turns to face Warrick, eyes wide and tearful but present, in the moment.

“You’re not ever gonna be in a coffin like that again, you hear me?”

Nick watches the soap suds on his skin, fearing that an ant would emerge in each hole until it popped away.

“Warrick,” Nick breathes.

“Yeah, man, I'm here.”

“Can-can you…There’s a, uhm, a thing on the counter…”

Warrick gives him an odd look before he sees what Nick’s talking about.

A rubber duck. Brand new, next to the bottle of pills meant to help with the waves of anxiety keeping him from a restful sleep, and boy, does he need it.

“This?”

Nick nods, and Warrick softly smiles, tossing it into the water.

“Thanks.”

“Your mom bring your wooby, too?” Warrick can’t help but tease, if only just to get a slightly spiteful, but endearing smile.

“Is it…sad that I kinda wish she did?” Nick hesitantly asks.

“No. It’s not,” Warrick replies with sudden seriousness. He sits on the toilet, reaches in to touch Nick again, to remind him before he falls back under the surface. Nick just flips the duck in his fingers, in familiar motions as if unwrapping a gum wrapper.

“Why…” Nick starts, but catches himself, before a sharp breath, before starting again with a difficult voice. “Why am I the one?”

He doesn’t even know what it is he wants to hear; it’s not about him, it wasn’t his fault, could have happened to anybody, all of the excuses in the book that Grissom would read to him still couldn’t amount to a satisfying conclusion.

“I wish I knew, but…I’m…I’m glad—” Warrick halts, especially when Nick twists his head with those damn big, naïve eyes lost in a darkness he can’t shed a light on. And with that, and his flat wet hair and the bath toy in his hands, Warrick can’t help but see the broken child that’s always been hidden from him.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Warrick corrects himself.

“I’m glad you’re here, too,” Nick agrees, dropping the duck into the wade in the murky water before he reaches a hand out of the tub, dripping onto the floor. Warrick’s face says the truth, though. Not a selfish truth, though in their watcher’s guilt, he knew the entire team felt the same way in not wanting to have suffered the same fate. Rather, it was just an assurance he wanted to give Nick, to show him the strength that the reborn man doesn’t think came with him out of the ground. He knows Nick knows it too, but that he’s too modest in some ways to admit it.

I’m glad you were the one. Because if anybody had to survive it, it could only be you.

#geaw #csi fic #csi 5x24 #nick stokes #warrick brown #warnick #(not necessarily shippy but i just use that tag for them regardless of context though i legit was gonna make this a little more intimate)#(i just don't know how)#mk.op #mk.fic #sorry i like to see you suffer nick #i think i try too hard sometimes to make something long when maybe something as short as this could be just as good #plus i got another fic that's so far a bit longer for next week #that i gotta finish

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takeeachdayonebookatatime · 2 years

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Staring the cast of Castle

Why did you elbow me? Part 19. The waterpark.

Caskett meets SVU for dinner.

Olivia: pov as we stand up to leave Kate sways a little on her feet. I have her sit down and ask her if she is okay. Kate lifts her left hand to show off her medical bracelet. Says she is fine her heart rate is probably elevated. Which, it was. said, she should have eaten sooner. Castle is usually on top of that. I went into the hallway to talk to a nurse. I came back with 2 juice boxes and 2 sandwiches for the both of us. Back in the car Kate tells me all about being shot in the chest and her heart problems. I tell her about Lewis and all the hell I went through. Afterwards we talk about our coping mechanism for ptsd. Kate invited my squad/family over for dinner tomorrow.

At the NYPD 16th precinct in Manhattan

Amanda: pov our shift is almost over. For lunch we had Italian food from a place down the street. They have the best food on the block. Olivia says we have to be at Castle's loft by six thirty for the dinner party Kat already had plans somewhere else.

Fin: I was already dressed for the Castle's loft. It was so nice of them to invite us to dinner at their loft. I had fun working with them on the last case.

Olivia: I'm so happy we got to leave the precinct early today. Me and Amanda stop home at our apartments to pick up the kids from the babysitters. Lucy had fed Noah a snack knowing we would be eating after 6. As I was pulling in front of the Castle's loft I noticed Amanda getting her 2 kids out of the car. Fin was already ringing the doorbell.

……………………………….

At the NYPD 12th precinct in New York

Kate: pov Castle was at home setting up for our guests he was making some kid friendly food. I got out of work early, thankfully and yes I can still work with a broken arm. Castle had made a lasagna with bread sticks and vegetables on the side yum.

Castle: as soon as Fin, Amanda and Olivia arrived I had Kate give them a tour of the loft with Alexis. Martha was setting the table.

Amanda: pov omg this loft is amazing there is so much stuff in here. Kate showed us her murder board the one that helped her catch her mother's killer.

Olivia: I told her my mom is dead also he's fell down the stairs while drunk. She had a drinking problem ever since I was conceived when she was raped. Kate told me her dad had a drinking problem also but it was after her mother died.

Fin: Castle told us dinner was ready so we sat down. Noah and Jesse loved all the cool toys in the house and so did Billie. The food was amazing. The kids even cleaned their plates.

Kate: pov me and Alexis had talked about me inviting Olivia and Amanda to the waterpark with their kids Alexis said it was fine.

Castle: pov while Alexis was in the living room with the little kids. Me and Kate asked the other Detectives if they could get 2 days off for a mini vacation with their kids because we have tickets to the waterpark and wanted to invite them with us.

Amanda: pov Olivia said being a captain means she would have to see If she could take the days off but 2 days is okay. Kate said she is a captain and is going. We decided to ask the kids. Noah, Jesse and Billie were so excited. Fin said he could hold down the fort/squad for us while we are gone.

Olivia: pov it was getting late so we said our goodbyes to Kate and Castle and thanked them for everything. Noah was so excited about going to the waterpark I made sure he brushed his teeth and went to bed on time.

Kate: pov Once we cleaned up me and Castle headed to the bedroom. In the privacy of our bedroom Castle started to kiss me passionately and I kissed him back. As soon as I got under the covers I curled up into a ball being mindful of my broken arm and fell fast asleep in my very cozy and warm bed.

Alexis: pov I decided to give the indoor waterpark tickets to a kid in school who did not have as much as me. My dad was instead buying 2 day Tickets for the family and Kate's friends. I did some light studying before bed.

Castle: pov me and Kate made it to work on time. I had ordered a waterproof cover for her cast. I asked Lanie if I should bring anything else for Kate and she said did you ask her Dr. If I'm correct he never said if she was allowed to swim or not. Once I was done talking to Lanie, I called her Cardiologist to update him on her broken arm and chest bruise. He said since you are getting the waterproof cover. I will clear her for the lazy river, and some minor water activities. She is not allowed to swim or dive into a pool and anything high impact like water slides are a big no I agreed.

Kate: pov at lunch time Castle ordered some sandwiches for a deli down the street. Their food is amazing. Nothing much happened at work today. It was such a boring day. Castle was nice and helped me with my paperwork. I had Ryan and Esposito doing all of the physical stuff. It seems like Castle has been packing for this trip to the waterpark for days. I'm glad Olivia and Amanda could join us. This is going to be so much fun.

Back at the loft from work castle helped me unpack the groceries. He pan fried some steaks and potatoes wrapped in foil in the oven And I steamed some green beans. Martha and Alexis helped by setting the table for dinner. We talked about our plans for this week. To be continued…...

#books #reader #read #reading #bookreviewer #betareaeer #tvshows #fanfiction

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jspark3000 · 3 years

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I visit an elderly patient who has just died. She is in the bereavement room surrounded by a dozen family members. The family, from what I can gather by the patient’s last name, is Vietnamese.

The room is loud. At the door are a security guard and a nurse practitioner, who both give me a look. I know the look: How long, chaplain? Will they be hard to send home? Will they throw things? How many boxes of tissues?

At once I notice that several of the family members have their phones out, and they are recording all the weeping, wailing, screaming, shouting.

I have this strange reflex, an urge to tell them they can’t record in here. There’s a part of me wanting to remain appropriate according to the rules.

But I wonder why I should stop them. Why the reflex to tell them how to grieve? What was this western part of me that had defined “appropriate”?

I remembered in my own tradition how we celebrate death-days, how death and survival are milestones, how a baby is celebrated when they survive one-hundred days because they once so rarely did. My family had scrolls dating back centuries, detailing how my great-great grandfather had fought against the Empire or how the first generation of the Park family was born from the egg of a flying horse.

We do all we can to remember. If to remember someone is to make them whole, then to love is to remember.

I ask one of the family members, “Would you like me to record for you?”

He turns, wipes his face, tells me it’s okay. I ask him who the deceased was.

“Our mother,” he says. The family is of many different ages. But his reply is, “Our mother.”

When the family departs and I am the last one out, the security guard says, “Are they your family?”

And I can see in his face it’s a joke. A racist question. I want to tell him, “You think we’re all the same? You think their pain isn’t as important as yours? A dead Asian funny to you? Can’t tell us apart?”

But I can only say quietly,

“Yes. They are family.”

— J.S.

***

[Details altered for privacy.]

#typewriter therapy #chaplain #hospital #healthcare #race #racism #stop Asian hate #asian american #typography #grief #lettering #trauma #mental health #loss #bereavement #stop aapi hate #chaplaincy

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agustdakasuga · 4 years

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A Place Called Home | Epilogue

Genre: Hybrid!AU, Poly!AU?, Soulmate AU, romance, fluff, humour

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: vet!reader, Arcticfox!Seokjin, Panther!Yoongi, Goldenretriever!Hoseok, Wolf!Namjoon, Calicocat!Jimin, Tiger!Taehyung, Rabbit!Jungkook

Summary: Having saved your own injured hybrid, you were determined to try and help any other hybrid that crossed your path who needed saving. But being a vet in a small hospital wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to do more, you wanted to make a difference. You wanted to give them a home.

Your family is only going to grow from this point! You need to learn to be a good mother and give equal attention to all your children while the boys need to grow up and take their role as fathers.

“I really don’t like that we’re out when you’re about to pop, kitten.” Yoongi sighed for the nth time as he pushed the grocery cart.

“Oh, quit nagging, grandpa. We’ll be fine.” You waved him off as you grabbed two bags of pasta and placed them into the cart. Yoongi sent you a flat look and shook his head.

Ever since the pregnancy blood test revealed that your child had panther blood, Yoongi has been very cautious and mindful of you. You felt that it was rather deserving that you were carrying Yoongi’s child first, considering he was with you the longest. But the two of you decided not to know the gender.

“You should be taking this more seriously than I do, kitten.” Yoongi scoffed.

“I am, Yoongs. Now please let me choose my cereal in peace, please.” You hushed him as you looked between the two boxes in your hands. Yoongi facepalmed at you.

“Just get both.” He groaned.

“You’ll let me get both?” Your eyes sparkled.

“Only because I know that if I say no, you will use the baby as an excuse to make me buy both in the end.” He rolled his eyes at you. He really knew you too well that he knew all the antics that you use.

“That’s a fact.” You shot finger guns at him and placed both boxes into the cart before the both of you continued. You waddled away to grab ice lollies that you have been craving as Yoongi went to grab some meat to stock the fridge at home. When you didn’t come back, Yoongi placed the trays into the cart and pushed to find you.

“Kitten-” He froze when he saw the puddle of water by your feet. You mirrored the same shocked expression as him.

“It’s okay, kitten. Accidents happen and you’re pregnant-”

“Yoongs, it’s not pee.” You quickly cut him off. The wheels in Yoongi’s head turned and he knew, your water just broke, in the supermarket. He abandoned the cart and rush to you.

“I can’t move.” Your whole body was stiff.

“Why not? Are you in pain?! Shall I call an ambulance?!” Yoongi panicked.

“No! It’s dripping...” You mumbled in embarrassment. A store clerk had seen what happened and rushed over to offer assistance but you couldn’t move until Yoongi received instructions. Yoongi contacted your gynaecologist to let her know that your water just broke and the baby was coming.

“Dr Rin said you can either go home and wait for contractions or go to the hospital. She has a spare labour room for you.” Yoongi informed, putting his phone into the pocket.

“Call the others. Let’s go to the hospital.” You said. Yoongi slowly helped you to the car.

He pulled up to the hospital and the nurses were quick to bring you to the ward that your gynaecologist had prepared for you.

“The others will be here soon.” Yoongi came to your side.

“Yoongs, I’m scared.” You whimpered as you held his hand. Yoongi leaned forward to kiss your forehead, stroking your hair. He whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

“I’m here, kitten. I’ve got you.” He rubbed your hand with his thumb. The door opened and your 6 other hybrids came in. With their senses, they could smell that your water had indeed broke and you were going into labour. Yoongi was beside you, comforting you and trying to get you to calm down. Taehyung came to your other side.

“How are you, jagi?” He rubbed your stomach.

“Scared.” You admitted.

“You’ll be just fine, my love. We will be here the entire time.” Namjoon kissed the back of your other hand. You sent them a grateful smile.

“The whole squad is here, huh?” Dr Rin came in with two nurses. You let out a sheepish laugh. The boys stepped aside as the nurses pulled the curtains to give you some privacy for Dr Rin to check you.

“Hmm... Not quite there yet. Sorry, bub.” Dr Rin patted your thigh as she removed her rubber gloves. You sent her a small smile.

“I’ll come and check on you later.” She said squeezed your hand and left.

“Is there anything we can do for you, beautiful?” Jungkook stroked your head. You shook your head. Jin poured some of your favourite juice into a cup and you drank it with a straw. You were feeling so many things that your mind just blanked out.

“What if it’s a human?” That was your worse fear.

“Kitten, we have told you this multiple times. Whether it is a hybrid or human, we’ll still love it. It’s still made with my DNA. What he or she looks like won’t change my or our love for the baby.” Yoongi reminded.

“I love you all.” You blurted.

“We love you too, angel.” Jimin kissed your cheek. Over the next few hours, your contractions came and went, each time getting stronger. You knew that very soon, you would be holding your first child in your arms. It was both exciting and nerve wrecking. Dr Rin came in to check on you from time to time when she wasn’t helping other patients.

“Well?” You panted.

“Looks like we’re ready for some pushing.” Dr Rin finally smiled. Yoongi came through the curtain, the other staying outside so as to not crowd the area.

“I’m right here, kitten.” Yoongi whispered, stroking your cheek. He held your hand as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“Take a deep breath and push.” The nurse helped with verbal guidance. Each time you pushed and your face tensed, Yoongi helped with comforting words and wiping your sweat.

“Yoongs.” You whimpered, throwing your head back as you groaned.

“A little more, kitten. You’ve got this. I know you can do this.” He gave you a soft smile, pecking your lips.

“Alright, we’ve got the head! Just two more pushes!” Dr Rin squealed happily. You gave it your all, squeezing Yoongi’s hand until it was all over. Dr Rin carried your baby to the side with one of the nurses while the other cleaned you up. You and Yoongi stayed silent until the cries of a baby sounded.

“Can the father come cut the cord?” The nurse called and Yoongi stepped away for a while and cut the umbilical cord.

“Congratulations, it’s a boy.” Dr Rin came over with a bundle. You laid your baby against your chest, tears falling from your eyes. Yoongi cried as well, pressing his cheek against yours.

“He’s beautiful, kitten.” Yoongi cried softly.

“It’s a hybrid.” You sobbed as you saw two small, black ears rested against his head and you smiled up at Yoongi. Yoongi wiped your tears, cupping your cheeks and pulling you up for a full kiss.

“I love you, kitten.” He said against your lips.

“Hey there.” Yoongi let the baby wrap his hand around his finger. The nurse took the baby from you to do all the necessary tests.

“Don’t cry, Yoongs.” You reached up to wipe his tears once it was only the two of you.

“I just never imagined... that one day, I would have a family of my own. I mean, that’s my real son. He’s so precious. Thank you so much, kitten.” He hugged you as he cried into your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around his neck to cry along with him. All of you, your entire family, has really come so far. The nurses were ready to move you to a regular ward.

“We’re moving you to a regular ward. After that, you can see your baby.” Dr Rin smiled.

“Thank you.” You said, exhausted. Before they could even wheel you out to see the other 6 boys, you fell asleep.

“He looks just like Yoongi hyung.” You heard hushed whispers, making you stir and wake up. You saw the 6 boys gathered around Yoongi, who was sitting on the couch, his son in his arms.

“Jagi. You’re awake.” Taehyung was the first to notice you. You nodded.

“You did so well. You should rest more.” He kissed your head. Yoongi came over, carrying his son in his arms. You opened your arms to receive him gently. You cradled him in your arms, cooing softly at his sleeping form as Taehyung took pictures with his camera.

There was no doubt that he was Yoongi’s son. If the black ears and tail did not give it away, he had pale skin that matched his father’s.

“We wanted to wait for you to wake up before we gave a name.” Yoongi explained.

“I’m fine with what all of you choose.” You chuckled, not taking your eyes off your son. The boys have all discussed and decided that the children will all follow their father’s surnames.

“Min Yoonjae?” Yoongi suggested.

“I love it. Yoonjae.” You smiled, kissing your son’s head softly. The midwife came in to teach you how to feed Yoonjae. Yoongjae latched on really well, drinking hungrily as Yoongi went out to sign Yoonjae’s birth certificate.

“Aww, don’t cry! Appa Taetae got you.” Taehyung cooed and bounced slightly to calm Yoonjae down.

“Better eat up, snowflake.” Jin held a spoonful of food up to your mouth. This again, the feeding. You shook your head in defeat and opened your mouth, leaning forward to eat the food. Of course, the boys had made sure to cook for you so you wouldn’t have to eat the hospital food. And they did do research on what foods nursing mothers should eat.

“You feeling alright, my love?” Namjoon asked.

“A little sore but nothing I can’t handle. I think I need a nap after this.” You yawned. The boys all softened at how adorable you were.

When the nurse came to take Yoonjae back to the nursery, the boys tried to protest. It was a very parental hybrid thing to want to constantly nurse their young and care for them.

“After the phototherapy, he will stay in the room.” The nurse explained.

“Come on, boys. Don’t give her a hard time.” You lectured, stifling a laugh. The nurse wheeled a sleeping Yoonjae out of there.

“Now it’s time for the main baby to sleep.” The boys turned to you. Jimin climbed into bed next to you, circling his arms around you as he purred gently. You leaned into his touch, feeling sleep wash over you once again.

- Loud crying broke you out of your day dream. Standing up from the bench, you turned around to see three kids running towards you. Yoonjae pulled his younger sisters with him. After Yoonjae was born, you and Seokjin conceived a girl named Yujin, she was a hybrid. Then you had a human daughter with Taehyung after that, named Taehee.

“Mama! Appa Namjoon made Namwoo cry.” Yujin said.

“I just put him down from his nap.” You shook your head and headed back into the house with your three children.

“Joon, I told you not to disturb him.” You put your hands on your hips as you carried your wailing 1 year old son. Namjoon rubbed the back of his neck guiltily, coming over to kiss your cheek.

“I’m sorry, my love. I just... wanted to scent him.” Namjoon apologised.

“After his nap, alright?” You chuckled, cupping his cheek. You went upstairs to your room and undid your shirt to feed Namwoo. Namwoo was a hybrid like his father, making Taehee your only human child so far. But it didn’t matter. The children were all loved equally by their fathers.

“Namjoon hyung woke Namwoo again?” Jungkook quietly came in. You nodded your head.

“Can’t blame him. It’s just the alpha in him wanting to constantly scent his son.” You whispered back, humming and swaying slightly to coax Namwoo back to sleep. Out of all your kids, Yoonjae fell asleep the easiest, like his father.

“Is he sleeping?” You asked. Jungkook stood up from your bed and bent down slightly to see the sleeping baby.

“You’re good, beautiful.” Jungkook kissed your temple.

“I put him in my room this time.” You said and Jungkook helped you arrange the pillows so Namwoo wouldn’t fall while he slept. Slowly, you laid him down on the blanket and covered him lightly.

“Sleep well.” You kissed his cheek and left with Jungkook, having the baby monitor around your neck. Jungkook kept his arm around your waist as you headed down. You saw Yoonjae sitting by the piano with his position slightly slumped. Chuckling, you went over and sat down, lifting him up to sit him on your lap.

“What’s wrong, baby?” You hummed.

“I don’t want to learn the piano but appa keeps making me practice. I want to go play with Taehee and Yujin.” He pouted.

“Did you tell appa?” You combed his hair back.

“He told me I have to learn to play like him cause it’s special to you and him.” Yoonjae explained. You laughed and leaned down to give him a kiss. Trust Yoongi to guilt trip his own son.

“Well, it is. But that’s between me and your dad. You don’t have to do what you don’t want to do, baby.” You told him. Yoonjae turned to hug you, burying his head against your chest as you rubbed his back. You knew Yoongi didn’t mean any harm. He just wanted his son to see the beauty of music as he did.

“Are you practising?” His older, carbon copy appeared, sitting beside you. Yoonjae shook his head.

“Why?”

“Tell him.” You encouraged Yoonjae.

“I don’t want to learn the piano, appa. I want to play with Yujin and Taehee.” He looked over at his sisters, who were drawing and colouring together in the main living room. Yoongi looked perplexed as he turned to you. You blinked.

“Alright.” Yoongi nodded. Yoonjae beamed, turning to you. You laughed and Yoongi opened his arms. Yoonjae hugged his father.

“Thanks, appa.”

“Go play, kiddo.” Yoongi stuck his cheek out for Yoonjae to give him a peck before he climbed off to go play with his two sisters. You turned to Yoongi and cooed teasingly, wrapping your arms around him. Yoongi gave you a disgusted look and inched away from you. You were so used to caring for your children that you liked to treat the boys like kids too.

“Come here my baby panther.” You opened your arms.

“Kitten, I suggest you stop it or you’re getting punished.” He raised an eyebrow. You giggled as Yoongi attacked you in tickles. He leaned in but suddenly froze. Your scent... he knew it all too well now.

“What?” You tilted your head.

“You’re... scent...” Yoongi reeled away. The boys now knew your scent that you gave off when you were pregnant, having been there through your first 4 kids.

“Mama? Are you okay?” Yujin tugged your sweater.

“Get appa Chim.” Yoongi spoke for you. Yujin nodded and ran out of the living room, pulling Taehee with her. Jin, Taehyung and Hoseok were working today but thankfully Jimin was around. Your daughters came back with a panicked Jimin, Jungkook and Namjoon.

“What’s-” They stopped when they finally smelled the air.

“I didn’t smell it earlier.” Jungkook frowned.

“It’s very faint.” Yoongi said. Your eyes were wide as you stared at Jimin. Jimin rushed to your side, burying his head in your neck as he took a confirmation sniff of you.

“You’re really pregnant again.” Jimin said in disbelief. It was his child. He was next in line to really mate with you for a child.

“Is mama okay?” Yujin frowned.

“Yeah, don’t worry, babe.” Jungkook patted the girl’s head. You finally broke out of your shock and wrapped your arms around Jimin. Jimin softly cried into your shoulder. You were having another baby! Even if Namwoo just turned 1, it was always exciting to know that there was going to be another little figure running around the house.

“You’re going to have another sister or brother.” Namjoon said to the kids. They grinned and cheered loudly in excitement. Cries sounded through the monitor on your neck.

“I got him.” Namjoon ran up to your room.

“Good morning, buddy.” He lifted Namwoo into his arms. Namwoo scratched the ears on his head as he yawned.

“Appa.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms around Namjoon’s neck. Namjoon brought him down and you took Namwoo into your arms, kissing his cheeks. Namwoo smiled, showing his dimple, which mirrored Namjoon’s own.

That evening, the boys came back from work, which meant the whole family was complete again.

“My beautiful daughter and mate!” Taehyung showered you in kisses as he held Taehee in his arms. Taehee giggled at her father’s antics.

“You...” Taehyung stopped.

“Chim is supposed to announce it but I guess we can’t hide it from hybrid noses, huh?” You bumped foreheads with him. Taehyung gave you his boxy grin and laughed, nodding in agreement. You waited for everyone else to gather in the living room.

“Before everyone points it out, do you want to do the announcement yourself, Chim?” You chuckled.

“We’re having another baby!” Jimin announced. The other boys all gave knowing looks, they actually all smelt it the moment they entered the same room as you.

“Congrats, snowflake.” Jin kissed your forehead.

“Our family is going to keep growing. I can’t wait until it is my turn.” Hoseok laughed, making you blush.

“Alright children, time to head to bed.” They all helped in putting the kids to bed. Since the rooms weren’t sorted out yet, the kids actually slept with their fathers. When they needed alone with you, they would just come to your room instead. You kissed all your children goodnight. Namwoo was already half asleep on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“Mama, can’t I stay with you?” Taehee whined.

“She’s as clingy as her dad.” Jungkook snorted and you turned to shoot him a look, making him shrink back.

“Come on, bubs. Children need to sleep more than grown ups.” Taehyung bent down in front of his daughter. Taehee let out more whines but Taehyung wasn’t going to budge.

“Taehee.” He said with a little warning in his voice. Taehee’s bottom lip quivered as she huffed, signalling the beginning of waterworks.

“Crying isn’t going to make me change my mind, Taehee.” Taehyung raised an eyebrow. Taehee turned to look at you.

“Eyes on me, Taehee. Don’t look at mama, she isn’t going to let you stay up too. You saw Yoonjae oppa and Yujin unnie go to bed with appa Yoongi and appa Jin. They didn’t cry and get angry.” Taehyung sat on the floor.

“But I’m not sleepy.” Taehee rubbed her eyes. Taehyung gently grasped her wrist to stop her or she might accidentally scratch herself.

“You want to be a grow up but children who don’t get enough sleep don’t grow, you know?” Taehyung said. That made Taehee stop. She held her arms up so Taehyung would carry her. Taehyung shot you a wink as he went to his room with his daughter.

“I hope I can be as good with my child.” Jimin said from behind you.

“You’ll be a great dad, Chim. Don’t doubt yourself. You’re already such a great dad to the other children.” You comforted.

“Movie night and cuddles?” Jin came back down with Yoongi and Namjoon. Namjoon had the baby monitor around his neck now in case Namwoo woke up.

“Let’s wait for Taehyung.” You smiled. Jin, Yoongi and Hoseok made snacks while the rest of you took out blankets to lay them out in front of the television. You picked the movie this time.

“Finally down.” Taehyung sighed and fell onto the space beside you, wrapping his arms around you. All the boys came to sit around you as the movie started.

You knew your family was only going to get bigger and it was going to get more chaotic and hectic but you were so happy that despite it all, the boys were always there to help you and all of you made sure to set aside time for your own relationship as husbands and wife.

Tag list

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coochiequeens · 3 years

Text

When she was six weeks pregnant, Pamela Winnwas sentenced to serve 78 months at a federal prison for a white-collar crime. Anytime she had to be transported, she was shackled — with handcuffs around her ankles and a chain around her waist that bound her hands to a black box in front of her.

“One particular day that I was going out, they had put the ankle cuffs on a little tight. … By the time I made it to the van, they were biting into my ankles. And it was really painful. And when I tried to step up, I fell, and at the time that I fell, there was no ‘Are you OK?’” Winn told Yahoo News.

A few days later, she began bleeding abnormally. Winn, who worked as a surgical nurse specializing in women’s health prior to her imprisonment, knew something was wrong. When she reported it to the medical staff, they dismissed her, telling her that bleeding was normal with pregnancy.

“They told me bluntly that the facility was built for men and they didn’t expect to have women and they definitely didn’t expect to have a pregnant woman. And there was nothing that they could do for me,” she said.

Complaints like Winn’s are why a growing number of states have passed a bill that reforms the way women behind bars are treated, with Arizona being the latest to sign it into law on June 30, joining 13 others, including Mississippi, Florida, California and New Jersey. The legislation, known as the Dignity for Incarcerated Women Act, is a response to the fact that women, 80 percent of whom are mothers, are now the fastest-growing population behind bars, yet they often face conditions that fail to protect their health or consider their roles as mothers.

In Winn’s case, the prison was unable to provide any sort of medical treatment. The only option was for her to request permission to be taken to an external doctor at an ER. She had to submit three medical requests, with four weeks in between for approval, before she finally received an ultrasound, after which she was told she needed to wait another four weeks for the results.

She ended up miscarrying at 20 weeks without having had any formal prenatal care.

During the miscarriage, it took hours for Winn to be brought to the hospital. “I endured the remainder of my miscarriage shackled to the bed," she said, "with two male officers between my legs that refused to leave the room [or] simply move to a different side of the room to provide me any privacy, which was extremely humiliating.” When the doctor asked for the soiled linen with her baby, an officer told her it had been thrown in the trash.

This moment, Winn said, was “the lowest point of my life, to hear that, you know, my baby, my child, something that was a part of me, had been thrown in the trash.”

For women in prison, stories like this are common. Pregnant women are forced to give birth in shackles, and mothers are sent hundreds of miles away from their children. Advocates say women are also denied adequate hygienic items and are forced to purchase them at exorbitant costs. They also say male guards conduct strip searches of female inmates and supervise them while they take showers.

After she was released from prison, Winn’s experience led her to become an advocate to end intolerable conditions for women behind bars. She worked with Sen. Cory Booker, D-N.J., to draft the federal Dignity for Incarcerated Women Act, which was introduced to Congress in 2017 by Booker; Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass.; Sen. Dick Durbin, D-Ill.; and then-Sen. Kamala Harris, D-Calif.

After making little progress on the federal level, Winn began working with Dream Corps, a nonprofit focused on bipartisan solutions to criminal justice reform issues, to push the Dignity Act through state legislatures. Dream Corps works with formerly incarcerated women such as Winn to lead reform efforts on a state level and has successfully affected a total of 30,128 incarcerated women, with 14 bills passed in 14 states since 2018.

The Dignity for Incarcerated Women Act proposes a host of measures, including better visitation policies for primary caretaker parents, a ban on the shackling and solitary confinement of pregnant women, drug counseling programming and parenting education for pregnant women and mothers, and quality pads and tampons provided to inmates free of charge.

“We’re changing conditions of confinement. We’re not, you know, changing someone’s time spent behind bars. I think that we’re really just saying the prison system was not built with women in mind,” said Olivia McLarnan, the policy manager at Dream Corps. “We’re forcing women into this sort of square-peg-round-hole situation where they’re having to exist in a world that was built for men. And we need to crack some of those things.”

Criminal justice reform with language from the Dignity Act was successfully passed on a federal level in 2018. The First Step Act was a bipartisan effort to reduce the prison population and strengthen prison rehabilitation efforts, signed into law by then-President Donald Trump. The First Step Act, which included two provisions from the Dignity Act — a ban on shackling pregnant prisoners and a mandate that tampons and sanitary napkins be available to women — applies only to federal prisoners, a minority of the total U.S. prison population.

The First Step Act served as a catalyst for the passage of the broader, more comprehensive Dignity Act on a state level, according to those involved with reform efforts. “It definitely gave us a bit more of a leg to stand on when we’re going into states, being like, ‘The president signed this into law. A lot of people agree with it, and I think we can do it in your state as well,’” McLarnan said. “It definitely helped us with conservatives as well. It definitely gave us more of a backbone to go in and be like ... ‘It passed at the federal level. Why can’t it pass at the state level as well?’”

Currently, more red states have passed the Dignity Act than blue states, but McLarnan says that’s because the latter often already have basic anti-shackling legislation baked into the code of their prison systems. “In some of the bluer states, this issue has already been taken care of. So this is sort of a situation where red states are seeing that issue … and wanting to correct it,” she said.

Winn says another reason Republican parts of the country have moved more quickly is that she, alongside other organizers, targeted red states knowing it would be a harder process there. Yet she believes a Dignity Act in Democratic-controlled states would still be beneficial, because the laws are sometimes ambiguous when it comes to shackling.

“They’re not written in stone,” she said.

Currently, the Dignity Act is in the legislative process in two states, Pennsylvania and North Carolina, and is waiting to be signed by the governor in Missouri. If it is passed in these three states, over a third of the country would have signed the act into law.

As anti-shackling legislation and other provisions become commonplace for female inmates, the next step for many activists, including Winn and Dream Corps, is to remove pregnant women from incarceration altogether.

In May, Minnesota passed a first-of-its-kind lawthat places women who are pregnant or have just given birth into community alternatives such as halfway houses and provides treatment for up to a year after giving birth.

“I think it’s something that the whole space can be looking towards doing,” McLarnan said, referring to the Minnesota law. “[We] can avoid incarcerating women who are pregnant at the start.”

#minnesota #dignity act #Pregnant women in prison #Mothers in prison

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peachy-panic · 3 years

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Only Temporary: Sebastian Tate

Hello. I was completely blown away by the positive response I got on the first piece of Jaime’s story (title under construction). Thank you to everyone who had a kind word to say about it! You made me really happy I made the mildly frightening choice to post.

In the interest of acclimating to the no-rules, freedom-to-post-out-of-order structure of this community, I wanted to introduce a new piece of the puzzle this time, with a new character that will come into play later.

Also, this piece goes into a little bit of the details, but for frame of reference on the BBU-adjacent thing: this story takes place in a not-so-distant future of the BBU, where WRU has undergone some changes. I look forward to exploring this world building more as I go.

Anyway, I’m rambling again. Thanks for reading. Here it is:

WARNINGS: General BBU warnings, talk of institutionalized slavery, classism, and general terribleness of large corporations. Referenced past homophobia and rough parental relationships, briefly implied/referenced non-con.

When Sebastian reflects on the day he graduated from med school, a sort of emptiness is the memory that first bobs to the surface. Among the cheers and camera flashes in the crowd, white coats and proud smiles, what Sebastian recalls most vividly from that day is looking out into the sea of parents and families and people there to support their loved ones on one of the biggest days of their lives, and not seeing a single person that had come for him.

What should have been one of the happiest moments of his life had been quickly overshadowed by the sinking feeling that none of it mattered as much as it would have if he had someone to share it with. Like there was something so fundamentally wrong with his life, that even something as objectively good and right and decent as becoming a doctor could be dulled over into a feeling of nothingness.

Perhaps, he thinks in hindsight, that moment had been foreshadowing for the following months ahead of him.

Watching rejection after rejection pour in from his top residency programs had felt like nothing short of his own personalized nightmare. He had spent several nights in a row on the phone with Alex, his undergrad roommate and only friend, clamoring back from the edge of many a panic attack, spiraling into all-out existential dread about the future and the past and what all of it meant for him if he couldn’t land an internship, let alone a real job out of school. To his credit, Alex never gave up hope in his friend. Or at least, he did a decent job hiding it if he did. Which was probably exactly what Sebastian needed to get through that particularly dark time in his life, and a good reminder of what a solid friend he had. Even if it was a party of two.

Unfortunately, Sebastian did not have the same faith in himself.

He was able to keep up some facade of optimism as his top five were picked off one by one. Telling himself, despite his devastation, that they were a pretty far reach, anyway. Even with good academic standing, it was famously no walk in the park to land yourself at John Hopkins or Mayo as a first-year. He even maintained a brave face as his first few safety programs reached capacity and moved forward without his name on the roster.

It wasn’t until he received his final rejection letter from some internal medicine place in Bumfuck, Idaho that he felt himself slip into dangerous territory. Sebastian knew himself well enough to know his own depressive patterns by then, and he knew it was only exponential decay from there.

Rock bottom came, as it did, in the wee hours of the night, after a full bottle of wine. Alone in his small apartment, surrounded by half-packed boxes with no destination, Sebastian found himself sprawled out on the floor with his laptop hot against his thighs. He couldn’t have explained why he opted for a privacy browser, but something about it allowed him to justify the words that he typed into the search bar.

It was a new low, and one he had sworn to himself he would never stoop to. Yet there he was.

He gave himself a moment to reconsider, to back out of what was undoubtedly a morally-gray train wreck waiting to happen as his thumb hovered over the enter key. And then the alcohol decided to override his moral compass.

Facility Care is the open secret of the medical profession. It comes with its fair share of stigma, and rightfully so, but it is notoriously easy to break into and pays a decent wage.

There are two types of people who end up stooping to that kind of employment. More often than not, it consists of doctors and nurses who had their licenses revoked or suspended somewhere along the line and needed a way back in. As far as Sebastian understood, they aren’t terribly ridgid about the particulars of each circumstance. After all, in the eyes of the law, the patients they would be treating are a price tag away from being entirely expendable.

The other percentage of Facility Care workers, and the reason Sebastian found himself staring at his too-bright computer screen with a sinking feeling of dread that night, are young medical graduates who find themselves in a tough spot. It isn’t difficult to spell out the logic behind that one when you open the WRU CAREERS tab on the home page and see the bright white words printed across the top of the screen:

LOAN FORGIVENESS.

It is shamelessly predatory and aggressively capitalistic, but Sebastian supposes that particular exploitation is pretty far down on the list of transgressions for an institution of legalized slavery. A few broke and hopeless medical students were hardly going to keep the Powers That Be up at night when they were able to rest easy under the weight of hundreds of thousands of stolen lives.

The whole thing is part of the massive PR overhaul the company did a few years back. In a world that was slowly inching toward civil activism and with the accessibility of platforms like social media to hold them accountable, WRU had to adapt to survive. Adaptation, in this case, took the form of changing the barest of minimums in order to keep themselves above board — to the public eye, anyway. Anyone who dares to take a closer look at the policy changes can see that it’s bullshit.

Changing ownership conditions to a rent-by-contract basis isn’t the humanitarian move they try to paint it as. In the end, it probably just equals out to more money in the company’s pocket when they can get more return on their “investments,” and a larger chance of exploitation for the people being moved around.

Getting rid of the Romantic division is an entirely meaningless gesture when they are still loaning out human beings with no legal rights and the inability to say “no.”

And offering an open job market with good wages and healthcare options to lower class individuals is a pretty convenient way to mute the backlash.

Essentially, you can tie a system of slavery and abuse up in a bow and make it pretty on the outside, but at the end of the day, it’s still fucking slavery.

Not that he has any room to criticize now. Now that he’s one of them.

In the end, Seb tries to justify his decision a few different ways. He is, after all, more or less a young man alone in the world. The odds are stacked against him and have been for a while. With only his own two legs to stand on, the only force stronger than his internal ambition is his instinct for survival, and he’s been running on those fumes for longer than he can count.

He had lasted less than two months under his parents’ roof after he came out of the closet at eighteen. It wasn’t exactly a surprise for anyone involved; Sebastian’s parents had known about (and subsequently bottled) his… urges… since he was in high school. Probably before that, if he is being honest with himself. And Sebastian, for his part, had spent the better part of his teenage years mentally preparing for the inevitable. He can recall long, late nights he had spent crying into his pillow and the perfectly-scripted ‘coming out’ speeches he recited to his mirror when he was one-hundred percent sure his parents were asleep.

Of course, none of the preparation had been anywhere near adequate when he actually found himself wilting beneath the heat of his father’s glare, the weight of his mother’s grief.

But. He had recovered. That is the point he tries to remember when the memories sting fresh beneath his skin, even all these years later. He has more-than proven himself to be a survivor. He has worked harder than anyone he knows for every scholarship, every grant, every dollar to put himself through school. Sacrificed nights out and real relationships for night shifts at shitty diners and long weekends cramming for exams. It hadn’t been easy, but he considers it the price he had to pay for his independence. For freedom, to live the life as the person he is meant to be, despite his unfortunate odds. He spent years telling himself it would be worth it. That one day, his hard work would pay off.

He can’t stop now.

Sebastian doesn’t have the luxury of taking time off to reroute when his navigation has gone amiss. He is walking the precarious line of rapidly accruing interest and student loans and a dwindling savings account, and there is no safety net below him.

Beggars can’t be choosers, and as it turns out, beggars sometimes have to compromise their moral integrity in order to survive.

It’s only temporary.

That is the mantra that gets him through the (half-drunken) application process and the (disturbingly lax) interview process. It is a job. One job. In the medical field, though the details are up for debate, and it is real-life money for rent and food and a savings that will hopefully be sizable enough to get him where he really wanted to be. Which is… really, anywhere else.

He can do ‘temporary.’ And perhaps, some misguided part of him thinks he can do some genuine good from the inside, too. ‘Be the change you want to see’ and all that.

It is a far jump from the floor of his apartment, sloshed and exhausted and desperate, to the cold, sharp reality of walking into his place of employment on his first day of work. Ironically, it feels a lot like an echo of the emptiness from his graduation day.

‘Sterile’ doesn’t quite cover it. ‘Sterile’ is the expectation of any well-respected medical establishment, but the inside of the facility walls has been wiped clean of far more than bacteria and germs. It is completely devoid of humanity. The long corridors that connect the medical wing to the general ward are windowless and dimly lit by flickering fluorescent panels that had make his head pound for the entirety of his first week.

He is given an office, though it is a term he, himself, might use loosely, as it is more akin to what was probably a storage closet before the old prison had been converted into the state’s training headquarters. It leaves him just enough space for a small desk and two chairs. On his first day, he asks if it is okay to bring in some personal items to spruce the place up. The older, balding doctor who had been assigned to show him around merely shrugs, and Sebastian decides to take that as a yes.

The small, pink-framed photo of a six-year-old Sebastian Tate in his grandfather’s white coat and an old-school stethoscope around his neck is hardly enough to make the place cozy from the corner of his desk, but it’s a good enough reminder of why he has to make this work.

‘It’s only temporary.’

‘Be the change you want to see.’

He will do his best.

#Sebastian Tate #bbu #like bbu adjacent?#tw: human trafficking #tw: slavery #implied noncon #whump #Do No Harm: Jaime & Sebastian

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carrisarune · 3 years

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In Your Eyes

Note: This is my second attempt of dropping a fic on this site and I can only ask that you have mercy. This was an attempt to expand on the book and certain scenes with my OC. Here’s hoping it works

Tags: I was inspired by the lovely @jamespotterthefirst and their amazing works into dishing out this fic. I also want to thank them for being willing to listen to all my wild rambles in chat and me bein a weirdo. You’re awesome and I can’t thank you enough.

CHAPTER ONE: FIRST DAY INTO THE FRAY (Part 1)

With one last shove to balance the pile of boxes against the wall, Rai sighed before flopping on the bed. A room under the stairs wasn’t the most ideal place to start in a new city but at least it was something. Given how the majority of his savings and allowance had gone into paying any school debts, he was lucky enough to get the room with his own money and not have to reach out to his family. While both sides of his family were well off, using their money without contributing anything gave him hives.

On that thought, he shifted to pull out his phone from his pocket and called his parents. It took a few seconds before he heard his mum pick up. He greeted her with a, “Hey Mum, I’m all settled in-” before he was interrupted by his mum fussing over whether he was doing alright and if was really sure he didn’t want them to contact a friend for a better place to stay.

“Mum, MUM! I’m fine. It’s not the worst place to stay in the city and hey, with enough work, I can get myself a better apartment to stay in” he chirped optimistically. His words only served to have his mum fuss even more before his dad took over. Rai could easily picture his dad calming her with a kiss to the cheek as her voice faded away and was replaced with his father’s rich baritone.

He sounded amused as he spoke, “We had to stop your mother from grabbing her phone more than a few times today, you think you’re ready for your first day of work tomorrow?” showing his own turn at concern. Rai rolled his eyes as he continued to assure his parents for the next few minutes. Honestly, he managed to take care of himself in medical school, he could take care of himself in a new city.

After ending the call and seeing he had a few hours to spare, Rai carefully pulled a box of books towards him and pulled out a few he could study. As he pulled out one particular old but well-loved book, he gave a grin. It was still hard to believe that he was going to start his residency at Edenbrook tomorrow. Who knows what kind of challenges he would be facing on the job. Plus, having the chance to work and be mentored by some of the top doctors? Rai wasn’t even sure he could sleep with all the excitement buzzing through him.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of rumbling from the ceiling and gave a sigh. Well, if that was going to be a constant thing, maybe it was best to turn in early. Here was hoping he’d get a comfier place in the future.

Stepping out of the cab and taking in the hospital, Rai couldn’t stop the grin that overtook his face before he practically ran inside. Once inside though, he realized he didn’t know where to go and paused. Tilting his head in thought, he looked around for anything that might give him directions. He then felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around to see a woman with curly brown hair and a warm smile. “Hi!” she greeted, “You look lost. Let me guess… first day of your medical residency?” and Rai nodded enthusiastically. She directed him to a corner where a camera and a white sheet was set up near the reception.

He hoped that he didn’t stand out too much from the crowd. But being an Asian with windswept black hair and sharp brown eyes, Rai was sure he’d garner some curious looks like he did in school. Once he settled his ID and managed to get some helpful advice from the doctor whom he learned was Dr. Ines DeLarosa, he headed for orientation.

On the way there through the waiting room though, Rai suddenly heard gasps and turned to see a woman collapse to the ground. Quickly moving as he saw the other patients start to crowd around her, he called, “Everyone please step back! I’m a doctor” and moved to check on the woman. As he did, an attending rushed in, kneeled by her side, and checked her pulse. “Pulse is weak. She’s unresponsive” he announced then looked around before catching sight of Rai.

Without hesitation, he ordered, “You. Rookie. Get in here” and Rai quickly moved to obey with a, “Yes Doctor!” The woman was then lifted to a gurney before the doctor turned to a male nurse and asked, “What was she in for? Did she fill out a form yet?” to which the nurse replied with a negative. This clearly didn’t please the doctor as he stated, “If we don’t figure out what’s wrong with her fast, she’s gonna die on this table” before telling Rai to check the patient’s B.P.

Doing as instructed, he peered at the numbers before announcing it’s quick descent and the patient’s immediate need for fluids. While the nurse was preparing the IV, Rai noticed the rapidly forming bruise on the patient’s elbow. Knowing that she had not landed on that elbow, Rai’s mind began to rapidly speed through possibilities as he noticed the patient’s fingertips were also turning blue.

When he called the symptoms to attention and noted how the patient was most likely lacking oxygen, Rai saw the doctor nod in approval before instructing him to check on the patient’s lungs. The moment Rai did, he felt panic settle in upon hearing the failing of the organ. Urgently announcing his findings, he tried to reign in spiraling thoughts while the attending calmly announced a Code Blue and began to gently pump air into the patient.

Digging his nails into his palm to center himself, Rai asked, “What can we do doctor? The problem hasn’t been confirmed yet” his mind whirling through all possible answers. With intense blue eyes piercing into Rai’s, the doctor told him, “Consider all the clues. It’s all there. You know this, Rookie.” Rai unclenched his hand to bite at a fingertip as he muttered the symptoms before exclaiming, “It’s a hemothorax!” thoughts coming to focus as the answer came to him. “Precisely. A blood vessel ruptured and is filling her pleural cavity…” the doctor started and Rai continued, “...blocking her lungs expanding! Hence the failure!” Then another thought popped in, “But since there’s no time to repair the vessel, that means…” Rai trailed off.

“We’ll have to do an emergency thoracotomy to drain the cavity instead. Nurse!” the attending called. To Rai’s shock, he finds himself handed a test tube and socket while the attending lift’s the patient’s shirt to expose the side of her ribcage. Blood roaring in his ears as he gripped at the scalpel, Rai gulped as he muttered, “No time for anesthesia… have to make the incision at the fifth intercostal space… anterior… to the mid… damn it, get a grip Hayashi!” growling at his trembling hand holding the scalpel.

He jolted when felt the doctor steady his hand with his and their eyes met once more as the doctor told him, “Hey… You can do this.” Gripping onto those words, Rai took a breath before steadying his hand and carefully making the incision. He faintly heard the doctor’s encouragement before following the instruction to insert the tube.

The moment the patient gasped for breath, Rai felt all remaining tenseness leave him before nodding to the doctor in silent thanks. As the doctor gave orders for the patient to be taken to surgery and the onlookers applauded, Rai released a heavy breath. He carefully rubbed his hands and with a breathless laugh, he said to the doctor, “Uh… well, that was… pretty amazing” barely believing that he barely started a shift and he managed to help save a patient. Calm as can be, the doctor retorted, “You’re right. it’s pretty amazing you didn’t get her killed’, his words causing Rai’s smile to freeze. Seeing the other lost for words, the doctor ruthlessly continued, “Your examination was slow and superficial. Your scalpel technique amateur at best…”

Before he could stop himself, Rai jokes, “In that case, maybe you should give me some private lessons” and the moment he did, his mind screeched, “(YOU FECKIN IDIOT!!!)” while alarms blared. Of all reactions, Rai did not expect the doctor to be amused, “Ha! I just might, Doctor…” he said, lifting Rai’s lanyard to read his ID, “Hayashi. But I sincerely doubt you could afford my salary” before tossing it back and walking away.

It was one thing to suddenly have his ID grabbed, but hearing his last name be pronounced right left him more than a little breathless. He quickly took a breath to reel himself in before ruffling his head and groaning, “… Please tell me I didn’t just make a total fool of myself in front of a top doctor” a whimper tinting his words towards the end.

The same male nurse from earlier walked over and patted his shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, Dr. Ramsey is like that with everyone.” Hearing the doctor’s name, Rai’s brain conjured the Looney Tunes ending theme, replacing the ending catchphrase with “You’re Screwed!” as he buried his face in his hands. “Greaaat, so not only do I mess up my first impression with an attending, I made a fool of myself in front of my medical hero of all people” he bemoaned. Clearly trying to cheer him up, the nurse chimed, “On the bright side, you’ll get plenty more chances to impress him” and Rai smiled in thanks. Once he learned the nurse’s name was Danny and introductions were made, Rai looked down to see his scrubs had been stained with blood and sighed.

Asking for directions to the locker room, he thanked Danny as he was led the way. Once inside, Rai searched for his locker, only to come face to face with a beautiful woman with dark skin and black hair in her underwear. Quickly turning about-face, Rai shut his eyes, “Sorry about that, do you need some privacy?” he asked. The woman seemed amused at his reaction, “How’d you make it through medical school without seeing a bra?” she asked and Rai shrugged. He turned to move away and reply only to bump into a muscular male; “Go easy on him, Jackie. It’s the first day for all of us” Rai heard him say.

The woman, now identified as Jackie retorted, “Hey, I can be friendly… if you stay out of my way.” Rai couldn’t help but snort at that before piping, “To answer your question, I got away by being respectful, my parents didn’t raise no creep” rocking on his heels.

The shirtless male barked a laugh, “We got ourselves a smart one here then” he joked before extending a hand with a playful wink. “Bryce Lahela, a.k.a. your new favorite surgical intern. Pleasure’s all mine” he introduced only for Jackie to snark, “Ignore the meathead, he’s a scalpel jockey.” Rai accepted Bryce’s hand with a grin, “Rai Hayashi. Internal medicine, nice to meet you!” Jackie nodded at that, “Guess you’re with me then. C’mon, we’re gonna be late” she said before slipping into her scrubs.

Going from his first impression, Rai thought it was best to be quick and follow after. It didn’t take long for the trio to reach the main atrium where the rest of the interns were listening to an impressive, statuesque woman up front. From the sound of things, she was already in the middle of orientation. Peering at the woman’s face, Rai tried to place her face before perking. He leaned towards Bryce and whispered, “Isn’t that Harper Emery? I thought she was with the surgical team?”

Jackie gave a smirk as she overheard, “You’re a little late on the news there Hayashi, she’s the hospital’s new chief.” Rai nodded in acknowledgement before listening to the rest of the speech. As she ended her speech and the interns burst in applause, Rai joined in and grinned at his fellow colleagues only to catch something, or rather someone in the crowd.

Out of all the interns, there was a young woman who was not clapping with the rest. Frankly, she looked rather unimpressed with everything. Before Rai could think further on it, he hears Dr. Emery announce that they would be meeting their senior residents tomorrow and for today, they would be partnering up for their first patient and that assignments were on the board.

Waving goodbye and wishing Bryce good luck as he left to join his group, Rai moved to peer at the board. Once he found his and his partner’s name, he tilted his head, “Huh, I’m partnered with… A. Emery?” he mused out loud. An intern with curly hair exclaimed, “Like, Chief of Medicine Dr. Emery?!” and Rai turned to him. “It says A. Emery, so I’m sure it meant a relative, unless Emery somehow became a common last name without anyone knowing” Rai joked and a loud snort was heard followed by an, “I wish.” Everyone turns to the source and it’s revealed to be the unimpressed intern that Rai saw earlier.

He walked up to her with a smile and held out his hand, “Hi! A. Emery right? I’m Rai Hayashi, it looks like we’ll be partners for this assignment. Are you alright with me calling you Dr. Emery or something else? I mean, if you want,; it’s tough that people pile on expectation when it comes to certain last names. Oh wait, I didn’t even get your first name, my bad” he babbled, though still maintained his bright smile. For a moment, the female intern looked surprised before her expression turned cool and she shook his hand, “Dr. Aurora Emery, Dr. Emery is fine. Anyone tell you that you talk… a lot?” she said and Rai gave a chuckle. “My bad, I was just excited to work my first assignment, let’s go?” he offered and Aurora gave a curt nod; the two breezed past the crowd before anything else could be said.

On the way to their patient, the two managed to have an amicable agreement on their partnership for the assignment. Though he had read the chart, Rai still felt a pang as they entered the room and saw the young patient named Annie. Still, he managed to push through with Aurora taking her vitals while he made the patient more comfortable and asked more on what happened before they ended up in the hospital.

After leaving Annie with further reassurances and taking note of her symptoms and other unrecorded injuries. Just as they were discussing submitting their findings for lab work, Aurora was paged by her aunt. Rai gave a wince upon hearing the announcement from the P.A System, “Go ahead. I’ll handle things and keep you updated. Good luck” he encouraged.

Aurora peered at him for a moment, as if she was trying to figure him out before she nodded and left. After making the submission, Rai found himself busy with other patients. By the time he managed to have a minute to himself, Rai was close to just squatting on the floor to rest. Just as he was about to do just that, a nurse came up to him with the results.

Looking them over and noting the uncommon strain of bacteria, he advised for some antibiotics and some observation on the effects before thanking the nurse for their work. With that done, Rai took a moment to breath before heading off to continue his rounds. Only, he realized later, in his attempt to head back to Annie’s room, he had somehow gotten himself lost.

He looked around to see if there was anything familiar, but as he turned around, he ended up bumping into another intern who dropped the textbook they were reading. “Sorry!” Rai exclaimed before bending down to pick up the fallen book and held it out. The intern waved his apologies, giving his own apologies before introducing himself as Landry Olsen. When he was handing the book back, Rai saw a peek of the cover, “Oh hey! ‘Diagnostic Principles by Ethan Ramsey’, you a fan?” he asked. Landry grinned, “Yeah, I totally worship the guy. Shrine in my basement and everything” he said before immediately stating, “Kidding! I’m kidding. I never know it’s clear when I’m joking,” his words caused something to itch at the back of Rai’s head but he ignored it.

“Well, here’s hoping you give a better first impression than I did,” Rai offered and Landry gave a gasp of recognition. Apparently, the whole incident from the morning had already made his rounds. Landry was gushing on how lucky Rai was and how he wished he hadn’t been early to work, wishing he had the chance to meet Dr. Ramsey. Quite honestly, Rai had been trying to not cringe into a ball as he listened to Landry’s words. When the other trailed off and seemed to stare in shock at something, Rai followed his line of sight and saw the very man being talked about at the end of the hall.

“(Whelp, time to find the nearest window and yeet myself then)”

#open heart #m!mc #ethan ramsey #m!mc x ethan ramsey #an attempt was made #no beta #formatting is a challenge #carrisa writes #fanfic #oh fic

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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

Text

3x05: Bedtime Stories

Then:

John’s dead, the Colt exists, and Dean’s going to Hell

Now:

In a housing development in NY, three brothers argue over building materials and windy weather conditions. One brother falls victim to the blood cannon, and then another does. A third hides behind cinder block and thinks he’s safe --but he’s not!

On a lonely road, the brothers have a particularly heated brother moment. Sam insists on calling a crossroads demon now that they have the Colt. Dean refuses. Dean doesn’t CARE if he dies. He only cares that if they mess with the deal, Sam dies. He’s not going to let that happen. Dean changes the VERY HEATED subject to ask about the case of the week. Sam doesn’t have much, but all signs point to werewolves.

Detective Plant and Page interview the last brother standing. He’s in the hospital and is expecting the sketch artist to take down his account of the assailant. Dean leans into it and tasks Sam with the sketching duties. Sam gets to drawing.

The brothers are asking seriously leading questions, but the dude doesn’t have anything supernatural to add. It was a normal dude. His brother(s) are dead. He asks Sam, “How would you feel?” OOOOOOFFFFF.

The moment ends with a little levity when the guy asks to see the sketch.

(The little tattoo of the Wylie E Coyote SLAYS ME.)

The brothers rule or werewolves and demons.

On a nature hike gone wrong, a couple, lost in the woods, stumble upon a gingerbread house of glory. They’re SAVED! A kind old lady greets them and offers them hospitality. They agree to come inside and rest a bit.

They stay for a bit of poisoned pie and disembowelment. YUM.

A young girl watches from the window as the couple enjoys its own demise.

Sam and Dean head to the hospital to interview the wife, who somehow survived the witch’s slaughter. Ted Beneke The doctor who oversaw the last survivor is there trying to comfort the woman.

Sam and Dean ask the woman about what happened. It appears that she didn’t eat as much and while the witch was carving up her husband, she was able to push the old lady and kill her. The woman asks about a little girl. The woman describes the girl, and I presume Sam sketches her.

At the old lady’s house, the EMF is going crazy. Sam posits that they’re maybe dealing with fairy tales. The original Grimm Brothers didn't tell happy ever after stories. What’s the deal with the ghost though?

Time for research.

Dean spent 6 HOURS at the library and came up with nada. While they talk about the implausibility of the case, they walk and stumble upon a frog in the road.

Sam notices a house with a pumpkin and a mouse and thinks of Cinderella. Dean gets a little gross and accuses Sam of being gay. Dude, LET it GO. Cool, confident Sam doesn’t give a shit, and they head to investigate.

With guns drawn, they scour the house. They find a young woman chained to the oven. She tells them her step-mother went crazy and beat and chained her up. Dean notices and alerts Sam to the little girl watching them.

Dean follows her only to have her disappear, leaving an apple behind.

Dean and Sam unpack the symbolism to conclude that they’re staring down the barrel of a Snow White myth. (Dean saw the porn version.) Sam thinks that the little girl spirit is leading them to her sleeping (real) body. I crack Sixth Sense jokes to myself.

At the hospital, a nurse who’s never heard of health information privacy reveals that there are no comatose little girls there, but there is “Callie” - the comatose daughter of the doctor we met before. She’s been in a coma for years.

Cut to the doctor reading Little Red Riding Hood to his blushing, non-intubated(???) daughter. While he reads the story, an elderly woman gets carjacked at the supermarket while the young girl looks on.

Sam and Dean catch the end of the fairy tale and grill the doctor using their patented Winchester puppy-dog-eye power. The doctor reveals that Callie was brought in at the age of 8 after swallowing bleach. His wife - her stepmother - was the one who found her. Now, the stepmother’s dead and the doctor is all alone...

I swear it’s been at least a couple years since I’ve seen this episode...but Dean then brings up Sixth Sense five minutes after I invoke the movie’s name - and the plot line of the ghost trying to tell about her killer. I’m forced to high five Dean over his Shyamalan reference. They speculate that Callie’s ghost has been marinating in a mix of vengeance and Grimm for years now. They conclude that it would PROBABLY be pretty uncool to burn Callie’s comatose body. Glad these two have their heads on right.

Just then the carjacked granny gets rushed into the Emergency Room. She perishes from savage wounds - like those of a wild dog. Sam and Dean flash their badges at the EMT and get the address of her granddaughter. Sam stays behind to try to help Callie while Dean promises to “stop the Big Bad Wolf.”

Sam corners Doctor Garrison and tells him that his wife poisoned Callie.

And now Callie is hanging around as a spirit driving people to commit gruesome murders. The doctor looks at his daughter sorrowfully and then SHOCKS us all by revealing that he’s seen Callie’s spirit as well.

Meanwhile, Dean breaks down the door of the grandma’s house. He finds the terrified little girl and immediately starts fighting with the Big Bad Wolf and it clicks for me: OOOOOH RIGHT, Dean is the huntsman in this story.

Sam tells Doctor Garrison that Callie has been trying to reach him - if he only listens to her he can help her to move on.

Meanwhile, back at grandma’s…

Dean gets the tar beaten out of him while the ghost looks on. Doctor Garrison’s voice ripples into the scene, and Callie’s ghost pops back to the hospital. She confirms the story about her poisoning. He asks her to stop killing people and promises to let her go. The monitors flatline in the room as Callie moves on.

At the house, the Big Bad Wolf suddenly snaps out of it. He doesn’t know where he is or what’s happening. Way to go screwing this dude for life, Callie.

Later, the doctor recaps the plot; the kidnapped granddaughter is okay and everyone seems to be acting normally again. He tells the Winchesters that he should have let Callie go a long time ago. Dean looks pointedly at Sam.

Sam and Dean lob emo puppy eyes at each other over Dean’s impending demise. Later, Dean tosses and turns in his motel bed.

For Sleeping Beauty Science:

Sam packs up a bag and heads out the door. SAMMY PLZ. He buries a box at the crossroads and when the crossroads demon appears, he pulls the Colt on her. If she doesn’t drop Dean’s deal, he’s going to kill her.

She laughs at his posturing. “Aren’t you tired of cleaning up Dean’s messes?” If Dean’s gone, then Sam is FREE, after all. (I hiss once again at the finale.) And anyway, she can’t nullify Dean’s contract because her boss really REALLY wants it for himself. Sam swallows moodily, then shoots her and watches her spark out. Sam, sweetie. Please work on using your words.

Once Upon a Quote:

I tell you one thing, there's no way I'm kissing a damn frog

Hey, you know fairy tales, I know movies

Aren't you tired of cleaning up Dean's messes? Of dealing with that broken psyche of his?

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn 3x05 #bedtime stories #supernatural season 3

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goodwriterwithbadhabits · 4 years

Text

The Study of Hearts

Master List

Warnings: Hospital talk, minor swearing

“Hey Y/n, what’s been up with you today, doc?” You spare a quick glance over at the nurse who’d come up beside you, glancing away from the patient’s chart for only a second before returning to it.

“Nothing’s up with me, I’ve just got a lot of patients today.” She scoffs instantly. You should have known better than to try and lie to Nurse Choi. She had been your head nurse during your internship, and your residency, she knew almost everything about you, and you were a fool to assume she wouldn’t notice your sudden drop in mood.

“Don’t tell me that. We’ve had a fuller ward than this and you’ve never snapped at someone. That resident you scolded is still crying in the nurses station.” You feel a twinge of guilt at her words. The resident hadn’t really done anything wrong, but offered up the wrong medicine when you asked the group a question regarding a patient. You may have laid into them for longer than necessary about checking charts and allergies before handing out meds. “And this morning you actually shouted at the guy who took your parking spot. This isn’t like you.” You’re thankful the patient you’re currently looking at is asleep, recovering from a surgery that just ended. “So tell me what has the calmest, most level-headed doctor in the cardiology department so wound up.” You sigh deeply, setting the chart back into the sleeve at the end of his bed.

“My boyfriend.”

“The idol you swear you’re dating.” She huffs, somehow not believing you. You roll your eyes, deciding not to continue and simply walk away. No one ever believed you when it came to your boyfriend of nearly 4 years, and he wasn’t helping his own case either. “I just can’t believe an idol would date you, I’m sorry Y/n.” You spin back to the older woman, rising to your full height. You were sick and tired of people looking down on you for who you were dating as if they had any clue what was happening.

“It’s Doctor L/n, Nurse Choi. You may refer to me on personal terms when we are outside of this hospital, but seeing as you refuse to respect my personal life, you are no longer privy to it.” She blinks up at you in confusion before nodding. You can almost feel the shock she emits.

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Room 1134, Patient Kim Seungkwan needs to be prepped for anesthesia. Dr. Song will be here in an hour.”

“Yes, Doctor.” She bows to you before turning away.

“And Nurse Choi.”

“Yes,Doctor?” There’s a hopeful gleam in her eyes when you call for her again.

“Tell that resident to stop crying, if he can’t handle being reprimanded there is no place for him in a medical field.” Her shoulders slump again, but you can’t bring yourself to feel guilty.

“Yes, Doctor L/n.” With one last curt nod to her you spin on your heels, stalking down the halls to your office.

You’ve barely gotten the chance to start your computer before someone is knocking on your office door.

“Who is it?” You ask, annoyance clear in your voice.

“Someone told me you’re having a bad day.” The voice of the young Chairman has you standing immediately as he walks in.

“Chairman Yoon, forgive me, I didn’t know it was you.” You bow, but he simply waves it off.

“Come on, Y/n, it’s just us. What have I told you about bowing to me.”

“Sorry Myungsoo, someone could have been behind you.” You chuckle dryly at your friend. “What do you want? I’m in the middle of something.” He holds up a small lunch box, waving it slightly.

“I brought ice cream, but if you’re too busy I’m sure someone else will help me eat it.”

“I’m never too busy for ice cream.” You relent, holding out your hands for the box. “And I guess your company too.” He takes the seat across from you, watching for a moment as you dig in.

“So tell me, how come you’ve been such a bitch today?” His comment makes you choke slightly.

“Yah, Myungsoo, what the hell?”

“Come on, Nurse Choi’s upset, you yelled at a resident so bad he had to go home early.”

“He’s a crybaby.” You huff.

“That’s besides the point. What’s eating at you?” You sigh, stabbing your spoon into your ice cream and setting it on your desk.

“Mark.”

“Huh, you’d think Mark eating you would make you happier.” His joke has your cheeks flushing instantly and you throw your napkin at him.

“Yah! That’s not what I meant.”

“What about Mark? I heard their tour ended a few days ago.” You clench your teeth slightly, recalling exactly what’s got you so pissed off.

“They got home last night, at least BamBam says they did, only Mark didn’t text, call, anything. I only found out they got back in when BamBam posted a selca.” “So you’re mad because he didn’t come see you?”

“I’m mad because I’m fucking sick of it!” You explode, slamming your hand on the desk, making him jump. “He refuses to tell anyone we’ve been dating for almost 4 years, so everyone thinks I’m some delusional fangirl. He refuses to talk about the possibility of moving in together, we never go out when he’s in the country, and when he’s on tour I barely get a text once a week. He’s never met my friends or my parents and it kinda feels like he doesn’t even want to be in a relationship with me.” You finish your rant with a huff, raking your fingers through your hair. “He’s been managing to piss me off without even talking to me.”

“Sugar, I don’t think you’re mad, I think you’re hurt.” He begins, setting his own treat down, “Anger is a secondary emotion.”

“I know that, I did take psychology.” You grumble.

“So what’s really making you so upset?” You cross your arms on the desk, hiding your face in them.

“What if he doesn’t want to be with me any more? What if he just sees me as a burden these days and is trying to make me break up with him, so he doesn’t feel bad?” Myungsoo sighs, reaching out to rub your arm soothingly.

“I think if you’re questioning the relationship, you should either talk to him, or break it off.”

“I know, I’m just not sure if I’m ready for that. I really love him, you know?”

“Chairman Yoon, we have a meeting sir.” A voice announces, knocking on the door.

“You should go, thanks for the ice cream, and letting me vent.”

“No problem, sugar, you should call him.”

“I will.” The moment the door shuts behind him you pull your phone out of your bag, and pull up his contact. He doesn’t pick up, but you aren’t shocked. “Hey Mark, I heard you got in last night, I hope you’re doing alright. Look, I uh, I didn’t call for no reason. I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think it’s going to work out between us. There’s just so much missing between us, like,” You scoff lightly, “Like love. So yeah, I uh, think we should break up.” You look up to the ceiling, blinking back tears. “I get off at 11 tonight, if you want to call me back then. I doubt you will though, you never seem to want to talk to me any other time. Either way, I have Thursday off, you can come get anything you left at my apartment then. Bye.” You hang up quickly, before shutting your phone off and tossing it in your bag. You felt like sobbing, just finally crying and letting it all out, but you knew you couldn’t, you had patients to help, and they were the priority.

Of course, by the time 10:45 rolled around, you were dead on your feet, your brain hurt and you were about 2 seconds from cracking open the emergency wine you kept in the fridge in your office.

“Sir, I may not be a pulmonologist, but I can tell you that smoking combined with not exercising are a major factor in why your heart is damaged.” You insist, trying not to roll your eyes at the man as he scoffs.

“I don’t think you’re qualified to talk to me about this.”

“Sir, I’m-”

“Doctor L/n to Emergency Care, paging Doctor L/n to Emergency Care.”

“Mother-” You cut yourself off with a huff, “Sir, while you are in my care, it is my duty to offer you medical advice. You need to cut back on the cigarettes or quit entirely. While you’re in this hospital you are not welcome to smoke unless outside in a designated area, with a nurse present. Good night.” You bow, quickly exiting the room before you lose your cool and punch him.

“Doctor L/n, you’re needed in-”

“I heard,” You interrupt the resident who ran up to you. “What’s going on?”

“It’s a patient. He was attacked by a mob. He seems alright but he refuses to leave without seeing you.” The kid explains, holding the elevator door for you.

“Is he having trouble breathing? Shortness of breath, chest pain?”

“No, I haven’t seen his chart yet, but as far as I’m aware he only has a few cuts and bruises, if there are any internal injuries, it would likely be contusions on his ribs or-”

“Spleen, why on earth am I being called?” You’re racking your brain for some kind of answer when the elevator door opens.

“Ah doctor, you’re here.” The head of the ER sighs, meeting you only a few steps away from the lift, “Good. This way.” She begins leading you down one of the quieter halls.

“Jangmi, tell me you have some grasp as to why someone needs a cardiologist here right now.” You bite at the inside of your lip, completely lost as to why someone might need you.

“I’m sorry, Y/n, he’s insistent and he’s mentioned you by name several times. Besides I’d rather his company continued to send their idols here.”

“Company?” You ask, just as she opens the door. “Who-” “Oh thank god, the good doctor is here, now will you stop being a baby?” A familiar voice asks, and your heart leaps into your throat as you round the privacy curtain. There, sitting on the bed, looking pitiful in the hospital clothes, was Mark Tuan. You have to bite back tears as you pick up his chart. He had several bruises already forming on the skin you could see, and a split in his lip.

“Mark Tuan what the hell happened to you?” Blood pressure, normal. Pupillary response, normal. No signs of concussion or brain trauma.

“Some sasaengs started fighting as we were trying to leave, Mark got caught in the middle.” Jackson explains, toying with the IV stand. “Hey what does this button do, Y/n.”

“Don’t touch it, Jackson.” Your response is instant and almost habitual, having had to slap his hand away from your tools plenty of times.

“I’m sorry, Doctor L/n, do you know these men? Personally?” Jangmi asks, noticing the way JB lingers at your shoulder and Jackson immediately stops toying with things.

“You could say that.” You muse, “Your vitals seem fine, though your heart rate has gone up slightly.” You can’t help the cheeky smile that dances onto your face. No, you broke up with him. You set his chart back down, grabbing his chin softly to turn his face towards the light. “You’ll have a few bruises, but nothing your make up artist can’t cover.”

“Y/n-”

“So you have any trouble breathing? Shortness of breath, chest pain, headaches?” You ignore his plea of your name in favor of the heart monitor next to him.

“No I’m fine.”

“Then why did you beg a cardiologist to come see you?” You snap, turning on him. “If you wanted to finally talk to me, you could have waited fifteen minutes. Instead you’ve wasted the time of not one, but two doctors, at least one of our residents and several members of the nursing staff. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“What do I have to say? What about you? You broke up with me over a voicemail.” He shouted back, and you watch from the corner of your eye as everyone in the room takes a step back from the two of you.

“Well if you ever pick up your damn phone when I call, I could have broken up with you like that.” Your voice is somehow level, despite how hurt and angry you are.

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day.” Well, fuck, okay that was on you. “I didn’t want to run into you like this, but I figured ‘fuck it, you work here anyway’ might as well see you.”

“So instead of waiting to be discharged and coming up to my department you worry me sick by begging me to see you like this? Do you know how scary it is to be paged down here? I was terrified someone’s heart had stopped beating, or I was going to need to perform an emergency surgery and I found you sitting here, beaten up instead.” The dam breaks, and the first tears begin streaming down your face. “The second I heard JB’s voice I was terrified I was about to have to save your life. After everything I told you about my work, about my fears of finding you on my table one day, how dare you use that against me.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Mark jumps up, pulling you into a tight hug as you cry into his shoulder.

“You’re the worst.”

“I know. I know I’ve been shitty. I should be taking you out and showing you off and I haven’t been. I’ve been so scared that Aghase might reject you, I never realized I was the one doing the rejecting. Please give me a second chance.”

“Promise me you’ll change?”

“For you, in a heartbeat.”

“Um, Dr. L/n.” Jangmi’s voice has you pulling away from Mark, wiping your eyes on the cuffs of your sleeve.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Seo.” You laugh, trying to calm down. “I’ll handle his discharge paperwork.”

“Of course, Doctor.” She chuckles softly, offering you all a bow before exiting the room.

“You really broke up with him over voicemail?” JB asks, clearly trying not to laugh.

“I was upset.” You defend. “I also yelled at several people and told one of my closest friend’s to go fuck herself.”

“Well, I’m declining your break up attempt, you didn’t tell me directly, so it doesn’t count.” Mark decides, pressing a kiss to your cheek as you walk out of the room. Nurse Choi is standing immediately outside the door, discharge paperwork in hand.

“Oh, Nurse Choi, I thought you were up in Cardiology still?” You greet.

“Dr. Seo asked me to deliver this personally.” Her eyes are wide as she sees Mark’s arm around your waist and the other boys just behind you. “It seems I owe you an apology, Dr. L/n.”

“Yes you do. I’ll take those.” She sets the clipboard into your outstretched hand with a bow, moving to walk away. You saw the slump in her shoulders as she walked away, and the guilt crept into your chest. “Before you go,” Your call has her turning back to face you. “Noon, Saturday, come have lunch with me? Please Jisoo?” The smile that erupts on her face is enough to make you feel better.

“Of course, Y/n, see you then.”

#mark tuan #mark tuan imagine #mark tuan imagines #got7 imagines #got7 #got7 imagine #goodwriterwithbadhabits #halloween game #request

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ilguna · 4 years

Text

☼ depression (Carlisle Cullen) ☼

summary; ‘ Hi could I get one where jasper/Carlisle has an So with anxiety/depression? ’

warnings; angst ig, depression

wc; 1.6k

——

You watch your ceiling fan go around and around. Trying to focus on one board in particular, but it gets lost easily, since your eyes aren’t that quick. However, it’s no bother, because you just move onto another one instead. Watching that one for a couple of rounds, before that too, is lost.

This all is a tactic of procrastination that you picked up after sitting in bed for weeks on end. After you’d first earned your degree, it’s like all the passion was lost immediately after. The goal of completing it was suddenly useless and a waste of time. Until your mother came around and told you some things that you hadn’t really wanted to hear.

She was right, though. Even if your friends though it was her being insensitive when you could’ve used the help to clean yourself up, it was more of a temporary wake up call. You got the job at the hospital, it was a lot easier than you thought it would be. The interview was hardly anything to worry about. And because of that, you were a little disappointed in yourself for sitting in bed that long, because work isn’t that bad to deal with.

And after getting the job, you found the sudden urge to clean and box up some of your stuff. Already getting ready to move out of the house, since the salary of a nurse would start pulling through soon enough. Living in your mom’s house while trying to get a boyfriend is like your boyfriend living in their mom’s basement.

It’s preferred that both people have a house to live in, so there isn’t any worry about a third party listening in. Plus, privacy at it’s best, and it’s not like she can’t come visit whenever she wants–just a little heads up would be nice before she decided anything, actually.

Anyway, out you moved after a couple of months. And now you’re feeling a little homesick again. Which is bringing back the sadness that you were doing so well in holding back. And it’s not helping that your boxes are still pressed against the walls, waiting to be unpacked. Your fridge is basically empty, except for some condiments. The only thing you do have put together, is your television. You haven’t even gotten as far as internet yet.

And now that the passion is gone again, you can’t bring yourself to get out of the bed again. Putting everything you’ve worked for the last couple of years, at risk again. If this isn’t annoying, then you have no clue what is. The antidepressants aren’t working like they’re supposed to be, and they’re making you feel even worse.

On one hand, you’d love to keep your job to pay for this new apartment, since you put a lot of money down on it. It’s a place to call home, other than a place that you grew up in. But on the other hand, the amount of energy you have is at an all time low. It wasn’t even this bad before, but now that you’ve been on the high of being happy for so long–the streak is broken. And so the dam is broken.

Now that we’re done with metaphors, one person is definitely going to notice if you don’t go into work. And in your opinion, he has other important things to worry about, and a job to do. Although, he could take a week off and the hospital wouldn’t care, they’d just be happy that he came back in the first place.

All the people that go in today could need Carlisle.

You wish it was just as easy as telling him to stay at work and that you’ll be fine. You just won’t be in work for another day, and you’ll probably see him your next shift. But after telling him that for the past three days, he knows that something is up. So, you have to go.

But the ceiling fan is so mesmerizing, and it’s worth it to just sit here and watch it go around and around…

Your phone rings from across the room, interrupting the peaceful silence that was in the room. It takes a second for your brain to register that it’s Carlisle’s ringtone–big surprise.

A sigh escapes you as you sit up. It takes another second for you to get up and stagger across the room. Legs stiff from not walking on them for the past ten hours. However, your butt feels much better from not being sat on anymore. Maybe you’ll take a walk around your apartment, to stretch your legs and give your ass a break.

You bend down to pick up your phone, since it sits under the windowsill. You threw it last night out of frustration for a reason you can’t remember anymore. When you stand up again, you can see that the street in front of your window is going under construction again.

Answering the phone, you press it to your ear, “Hello?”

“Alice told me you’re not going into work today,” Carlisle’s voice greets you. You groan internally at the news, damning Alice for saying anything to him. You technically haven’t made the decision yet, you could still go now, you’re not even late. But you will be if you don’t leave in the next ten minutes.

Instead of arguing with Carlisle, you deflate your defensive position, shoulders slumping, “Yeah, I’m not feeling it at the moment.”

“(Y/n), is there something wrong? You haven’t told me anything,” Carlisle sounds caring, but there’s an undertone of concern.

“My uh–my depression is working up again,” you tell him, “If that’s how that works.”

“Did something happen?” he asks.

You laugh lightly, “The new apartment, I guess.”

You watch as the construction guys try to direct traffic, but your street couldn’t care less. Every week there is something new going on here, they’ve learned that there really isn’t a time when they’ll be able to drive through the street without having to stop and go.

Which probably sucks for the construction guys, cause now they have to worry about getting ran over because of the public.

What if you were to run in front of one of the cars?

You bite your lip, squinting out the window as your imagination takes over.

“I’m coming over,” Carlisle tells you.

“What?” you ask, “Why? I’ll be fine, you can go to the hospital.”

However, the line is dead, and you’re just stuck standing here, staring out the window for a second longer. Jumping in front of traffic would be too painful of a way to go anyway. As your mind decided while taking the idea that it made, and running with it.

You’d much rather die a less painful way.

Wheeling yourself away from the window, you take a look over your room. Suddenly realizing how bad you let it get from sitting in bed. The only times you actually got up, was to use the bathroom or answer the door for the fast food that you ordered.

It’s not like you’ll have time to clean everything up. Maybe not even one thing, since Carlisle is probably here already. But it wouldn’t hurt to at least start cleaning, right?

On your way to the kitchen for some garbage bags, there’s a knock on the door, “Come in.”

The door opens, and Carlisle looks a little disappointed to see that it’s open. After that, his eyes don’t stare at the doorknob for long, and instead he’s looking over every square inch of your apartment.

A little bit of anxiety kicks up, because now it’s a reflection of what type of person you are.

“(Y/n)…” Carlisle trails off, sympathy on his face as he suddenly goes over to you.

His cold hands cup your face, making you look at him. Since it’s a little difficult not to, your head is directed in his direction. The only other thing there would be to look at is the kitchen cabinet.

“I haven’t gotten around to it–” you tell him, squirming out of his grasp a little bit, “But I’ll get to it… eventually.”

“Is this why you haven’t gone in?” he asks.

“The house, no. My depression, yes.” you smile at him half-heartedly, “I guess it could be because that it doesn’t feel like home just yet. And then… well, then it would be the apartment.”

As you head to your room, you shut the door behind you, “Don’t come in.”

Carlisle listens, waiting outside of the room, but it sounds like he’s digging through the boxes as he waits, “I could help you unpack the boxes, maybe that would help.”

You stop for a second, thinking about it, “That could work. Does Alice see it working?”

Carlisle laughs, “I’m sure she does.”

After you’ve gathered all the trash into the bag, it’s about halfway full. Opening the bedroom door again, Carlisle is holding a book, flipping through the pages a little bit. Your face heats up when you see that it’s one of your scrapbooks.

“Let’s start with my room.” you tell him, grabbing the book from his hands and tossing it across the room like a frisbee. Just so that it doesn’t ruin the pages.

Carlisle smiles a little bit, kisses you, and then passes you to go into the room. He’s probably already thinking about how to place things.

“Thank you, Carlisle.” you follow him in.

#ilguna #carlisle cullen #carlisle cullen imagine #carlisle cullen oneshot #carlisle cullen fanfic #carlisle cullen x reader #twilight

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betweensceneswriter · 4 years

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Island Hopper-Chapter 28: Just Add Water

Certain things are instant. Not usually sons.

Previously Chapter 27: So Long, Farewell Surprising things await back on Majuro.

ISLAND FEVER (Jimjeran Book 1)

ISLAND HOPPER (Jimjeran Book 2)

FanFic Master List

Perkaj looked so small sitting next to Jamie on the Jolok boat. The breeze whipped his fine black hair around his ears. Before he was discharged that morning, Dr. Langenbelik had coached us on our goals. Perkaj, as young as he was, needed to be able to maintain his correct blood sugar level for at the least a full week by himself before we were to allow him to move back in with his family.

After that we were to spot check--stop in and have him test his blood sugars at a variety of times of day to make sure he was being consistent. The goal was for him to re-enter his family and be independent of us, but not at the cost of his health. We could also work with the family to help support him, hopefully getting their cooperation to speed the process of moving back home again.

Jamie and I had bundled up Perkaj with the few possessions he had brought along and the medical paraphernalia that he had gained during his hospitalization, along with a coterie of stuffed animals and toy cars, gifts from the nurses who had felt such pity for the unparented wee waif. We had boarded the Jolok boat just in time for departure.

Perkaj’s dark eyes sparkled with delight as he glanced back at me. He crouched to come close to me and exclaimed above the roar of the engine and surf. “We go to your house now!”

“We will also see your mama and baba,” I said.

At that, he looked giddy. “I miss them,” he admitted, then with a smile at me went back to sit with Jamie.

He was equally excited during the bumpy ride in the back of the pickup truck from Arno Arno to Ine. I realized from his enthusiastic reactions to everything we saw that he must have had no memory of his own truck ride to the air strip and plane ride to Majuro, and that this could be his first adventure outside the confines of the island.

“Let’s stop at Perkaj’s house first,” Jamie suggested as we neared Ine. I watched Perkaj’s face as we got closer, sharing in his joy as we pulled up to park on his property. Our call to the Iroij had the desired effect, as the boy’s family members came spilling out of the house to greet him. His mama was in tears, holding him by the cheeks and gazing into his face, clucking at how much weight he had lost but obviously pleased to see him looking healthy again. His father smiled gravely as he shook Jamie’s hand.

They invited us to come in, and we entered their house, nodding at the relatives we found already inside. Perkaj’s mother and father ushered us to a pandanus mat and tried to urge food on us. Jamie gestured to his stomach and explained that he was full and couldn’t eat anything. I had a feeling that his stomach was still churning from the boat ride despite motion sickness pills.

I could pick out the occasional word as Jamie explained everything to them. At his invitation, Perkaj joined us on the mat and pulled out his zippered kit with lancets, tester, and insulin. At Jamie’s nod, he took a testing strip and inserted it into the tester. The room was silent as he twisted the plastic tip off the lancet, but there was a chorus of gasps as he poked his own finger and then touched the droplet of blood to the testing strip. Quiet murmurs followed, but when the tester beeped with the results, Perkaj held it up not to show his parents, but Jamie so he could see the LCD readout.

“Emmon, good,” said Jamie. “120. Show Baba and Mama.”

Perkaj scrambled over to them, squatted between them, and pointed and explained as he looked at the monitor.

I noticed that Maria was hanging back at the side of the room, so as the attention of the crowd was on Perkaj, I motioned to her to come outside. She hung her head shamefacedly, not meeting my eyes.

“I am not good aunt,” she muttered.

“Yes you are,” I said. “You came with Perkaj to Majuro. It is very hard to take care of someone with diabetes. You remember I am a nurse, so I can help Perkaj until he can manage it himself, but you can be a helper to him when he comes back home.”

Her eyelashes fluttered as she glanced quickly up at me. “Jolok bod,” she said. “Is bad he live in your house? You and Meester Shamie are just married. Is not time for nin-nins yet.”

“Ejjelok bod. It’s okay,” I said, trying as hard as I could to mean it.

Before long, Jamie had made our excuses, Maria helped me grab a few more pairs of clothing for Perkaj, and we had our driver take us the rest of the way to the clinic. Coming around the side of the truck, I felt a hand on my arm. It was Jamie, concern on his face. “Are you all right, hen?” he asked. Perkaj was pulling his backpack out of the truck, his focus elsewhere.

“Honestly? A little terrified,” I answered, meeting Jamie’s eyes. “Wondering how we’re going to manage all of this along with the rest of our lives.”

“Just do the next right thing,” Jamie said. “That’s what my da used to say when Jenny, Willie or I were overwhelmed by a task.”

I took a deep breath, grabbed my suitcase and swung it out of the bed of the truck.

“Well,” I said, with a hesitant smile at Jamie, “let’s get inside and make a spot for Perkaj.”

After dropping my luggage by the kitchen table, I went around the apartment opening up the louvered windows and curtains which had been closed for more than a week. Without a breeze to move the air it made little difference. It was still stuffy and hot.

Perkaj wandered around the apartment, stopping in front of the pantry with its rows of cans and tubs of dry goods. “Ebol mona,” he marveled, opening his arms to show how much food we seemed to have.

“Eh bowl?” I asked Jamie. “I know mona is food.”

“It means full… a lot.”

After pulling our bed closer to the west wall of the apartment, Jamie moved the couch to create a barrier between the table and the back wall to give Perkaj a spot of his own.

Glancing at me occasionally, Jamie set up the space. He pulled a quilt from our storage tub, folded it several times and laid it on the floor, topping it with the pandanus mat Perkaj’s mom had carefully rolled up for her son. I pulled one of the extra pillows from our bed and put on a fresh pillowcase, handing a sheet to Jamie to put on top of the mat.

Looking through the back window, I caught sight of my raised beds. Having seen the dry yellow grass along the sides of the road , the drooping palm fronds and wilting jungle plants on the way from Arno Arno, I’d had a sinking feeling. I still saw green peeking up above the wooden walls of the beds, so I invited Perkaj out to see my plants.

Though most of the plants looked a little limp, as I dug down into the soil surrounding them I discovered that just an inch under the surface of the ground there was moisture. It was only a minute later that Anni wandered over.

“Meester Shamie asked me to water the plants,” she said, smiling. Perkaj stood up on tiptoes to peek into the box, then grabbed the bucket to go to the well. He lugged it back having to use both hands to carry it, water sloshing out on his feet. But he was fascinated and helpful as we dipped cups of water and gently poured them at the base of each plant.

By the time we went back inside, Jamie had stretched wire from one rafter to the other and was hanging up a sheet to separate Perkaj's little room from ours.

“Let’s do coconut rice and fish,” Jamie suggested, nodding towards our little visitor. He had reached into the dresser, grabbed swim trunks, and was about to drop his pants when he thought again.

“Do you want to see how yer bed feels?” He asked Perkaj, rattling off the translation in Majol afterwards. Once Perkaj had rounded the curtain, Jamie whipped off his clothing and pulled on the trunks, his back to the room. After a pleasant eyeful, and having never seen the man sheepish about being naked, I couldn’t help but chuckle. Perkaj was still happily sitting on his bed, setting his zoo of stuffed animals around the perimeter when Jamie joined me in the kitchen.

“Obviously, I need to rethink the space,” he whispered. “No’ enough privacy yet,”

“You think he’s never seen a naked man before?” I asked in an undertone.

“Aye, I’m sure the lad has, but he doesna need to be subjected to the vision of a large, naked white Scotsman.”

“That would be a traumatizing nightmare,” I joked. Jamie smirked, kissed me, and headed out the door with his fish spear.

“Itok, Perkaj,” I called out. “Can you help me find a coconut for the rice?”

Prepping dinner took a good hour, followed by testing his blood sugar, giving Perkaj short-acting insulin, measuring portions, eating, and cleaning up after the meal. By 7:45 I couldn’t tell who was more exhausted--us or Perkaj. Jamie meticulously wrote down everything in the blood sugar/insulin log, and then we met each other’s eyes, an identical question on our faces. “What now?”

We were used to freedom in the evenings, our time being our own to read or write letters, to flirt and joke and laugh, to kiss and cuddle, to freely shed our clothing and make as much noise as we wanted. But now there was an unfamiliar guest in our sacred space.

For the first time, I thought I saw it register on Jamie’s face-the sense of anxiety and discomfort I was feeling. But then he frowned determinedly and turned to Perkaj.

“Ej awa in kiki,” he said. “It’s time to sleep. What do mama and baba do to help you rest?”

“Erro bwebwenato,” Perkaj replied. His voice held a tinge of sadness.

“They tell you a story?” Jamie repeated, translating. “Well, come & lie down in your bed, and I’ll tell ye a story. I have one that’s called Jock & his Mother.”

We turned on a lamp by our bed and turned off the main lights. While the boys were on one side of the sheet I put on my pajamas, choosing a longer pair of shorts in case Perkaj saw me in the morning.

The story was a little like one I’d heard before, where a simple-minded boy keeps following his mother’s advice a bit too late. Jock brings home a needle in a bundle of hay, and his mother tells him he should have put it in his hat. The next day he brings home a plough, and following his mother’s advice, puts it on his hat. Of course, it’s so heavy it falls into the river.

“She said to him, ‘You silly boy! Ye should have tied a rope to it and pulled it behind you!’” Jamie said, giving the mother the voice of an old crone. Perkaj giggled.

“The next day,” Jamie said, “The boy earned a leg o’ mutton... well, they dinna have those on Arno, so maybe it was a… roasted chicken. What do you think he did with it?”

“Tie it with rope?” Perkaj offered.

“And pulled it all the way home!” Jamie answered. The answering peal of laughter made me smile. I sat on the bed, arms hugged around my knees. All this time I hadn’t realized this talent of Jamie’s. My only bedtime story from him had been the boring recitation of Scottish history.

Poor Jock tried to carry a horse on his shoulder and then rode a cow, which of course helped a sad princess to laugh and so they got married. Jamie slowed his sentences and lowered his voice as the story continued, and just before I heard the floor creak with the movement of Jamie pushing himself up off the floor, I heard a little voice murmur something in Marshallese.

Jamie crept around the curtain, smiling when he saw me. He joined me on the bed and was reaching for a book when I whispered, “What did he say? I didn’t hear him well enough.”

I could have sworn there was a little mist in Jamie’s eyes as he answered. “He said ‘Ainikiom ekakiiki ao.’” He paused, the effort of translating wrinkling his forehead. “It means,” he blushed and met my eyes. “The sound of your voice lulls my soul to sleep.”

I felt a lump in my throat, the sting of tears in my own eyes as I leaned my head on Jamie’s shoulder. He pressed a kiss onto my forehead and wrapped an arm around me.

“Tired?” he asked.

“Exhausted,” I answered.

“I don’t even think I can read tonight,” he said, reaching over me to turn off the lamp.

“I won’t argue with that,” I responded, getting up to turn the covers down and pull up the single top sheet. It was still hot and windless.

Jamie cuddled me for a moment when he got under the covers, but then pulled away.

“It’s so hot,” he groaned. “I’m missing air conditioning already.”

It was pitch black inside and out when I startled awake.

“I want to go home,” a small voice quavered. “Ikonaan mama im baba. In my house, my brother sleeps next to me,” Perkaj cried. “I am alone here.”

“Jab jan”, Jamie said reassuringly. “Don’t cry. Here. You can sleep next to me.”

He flipped on the lamp, pushed the sheet out of the way, pulled the mat over until it was touching the side of our bed and tucked Perkaj in again. Jamie then got into bed, kindly turning toward the little boy and scooting closer to the edge that faced him.

For the next few minutes, I could hear Marshallese as Jamie murmured reassurances to Perkaj. The low rumble of foreign speech patterns soothed me as well, and soon I fell back asleep.

In the predawn hours, I was awakened by large, warm hands that gently stroked my back. They found their way to the tight muscles of my neck and shoulders, then ran fingers through my hair to massage my scalp.

I shivered at a kiss on my shoulder blade, at which Jamie scooted closer to me and put his arm over me.

“Cold, hen?” he asked.

“Actually, no,” I said, smiling to myself.

“Me neither,” he whispered, a hand meandering down my side, lazily tracing the waistband of my shorts before slipping fingers under the elastic.

“Whatcha doing?” I whispered playfully, rolling toward him and being rewarded by an enthusiastic caress of my breast and a thorough kiss.

“Dying,” was Jamie’s response. “A busy week at your parents’ house, then sleeping apart from ye at the hospital, and now we have an instant son? God, I'm starving for ye.”

No words were needed to tell him I felt the same. I’d been trying not to be selfish and resentful, but it was challenging to not feel deprived and disconnected.

I helped him finish what he had started, wriggling out of my shorts and kicking them onto the floor, then climbing atop Jamie, who made quick work of pulling off my tank top over my head, throwing it to the side to join its companion on the floor.

“Ifrinn,” he gasped as I used a hand to guide him in, lowering myself onto him.

Perkaj won’t wake up, I assured myself, confident the darkness would hide us. He was turned away from us anyway, his breath coming out in a low, even snore. I leaned toward him just to make sure he wasn’t looking in our direction.

Jamie must have noticed my movement because he hissed under his breath, “It won’t be the first time he’s heard these noi… Oh, God… oh, Christ...”

I put my hand over his mouth, increasing my pace. I was close, he was close, and then, a plaintive voice interrupted the process. “Meester Shamie?”

I froze. Jamie desperately tried to hold my hips to keep me in place, but I was instantly out of the mood, melting down next to Jamie like an ice cube on a hot car.

“No no no no no no no…” Jamie pleaded. I pulled the sheet up, panting. “Bollocks,” he swore, then modulated his voice after a deep sigh. “Ijin,” he said calmly, rolling away from me toward Perkaj. “I’m right here.”

Next up on Island Hopper:

Chapter 28b: Just Add Water, part 2 Shots & the “Shungle”

#Instant son #Jimjeran #BetweenScenes #BetweenScenesWriter #Island Hopper #Island Fever #Claire x Jamie #Carlie x Campbell #Trying to write instead of playing dumb computer games...#Gearing up for NaNiWriMo #And finally finishing book 2 #But there's still more story...

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redheadedteatotalfanfic · 3 years

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Little Moments pt 2

This is technically a repost, but I changed some things and made it a lot better.

Gina lay on the operating table, doing her absolute best to keep her heart rate under control, as she knew it only added to the baby’s distress, and made her current situation worse. She’d been in labor for several hours when they had noticed an erratic heartbeat. Rather than wait to see if it corrected itself, only to be rushed into an emergency c-section that would put both of their lives at risk, a quick glance at her husband was all it took for her to decide to have an unplanned one. The medical team had sprung into action, working to get her into an operating suite as quickly as possible. “Where is he?” She asked about her absent husband. She didn’t want to go through this alone.

“As soon as we get everything set up to go, we’ll bring him in. It’s just to keep him from feeling like he’s in the way while we prep you because he wouldn’t be able to get next to you until everything’s set. Plus, he must change clothes and get scrubbed in, which is all new to him, so it’ll take him a few extra minutes to get ready. He’ll be here before I make the initial incision, okay? I promise we won’t start without him unless we have to,” the doctor replied.

Gina nodded and blew out a nervous breath, a bit more relieved that she wasn’t about to go through this alone. The drape was clamped into place, blocking her from seeing her own body being cut open. She could hear movement to her left, and she turned her head towards it, smiling to see Kevin sitting on a stool. He wheeled himself over to the table and pulled his mask down long enough to give her a quick kiss. The doctor appeared above the drape again. “We’re gonna get started now okay? It’s normal to feel us pulling and tugging at you, so don’t worry. If you feel any pain at all let us know so we can adjust things and make you more comfortable,” he said. “You know what you’re having right?”

Gina nodded. “A boy,” she said.

The doctor disappeared again. He was right about her feeling them tugging at her, which was only uncomfortable because it was something she hadn’t felt before. Kevin began stroking her arm as they listened to the chatter of the doctor and nurses. “Almost there,” the doctor said.

Her eyes began welling with tears. After an anxious nine month wait the little being who had come into their lives so unexpectedly was about to be here. It seemed too soon, and yet not soon enough. There was a round of light laughter on the other side of the drape, and the doctor’s voice came floating over it. “We’ve found out why his heart rate kept fluctuating,” he said. “Dad, you need to get a picture of this to show mom.”

Kevin activated the camera on his phone and quickly stood, chuckling at what he saw, quickly taking a photo before sitting down. He held up his phone where she could see the image, and she giggled. The baby had a double handed death grip on the umbilical cord. “I’m not leaving, and you can’t make me,” he murmured in her ear.

Before she could respond a nurse appeared on her right side, with their very cranky newborn in her hands. She held him up so that he was cheek to cheek with Gina, and he immediately began to calm down. “Already knows momma’s scent,” the nurse said.

Gina turned her head slightly, kissing his tiny face, and the newborn responded by curling an arm under her chin. The tears began again, and she heard the clicking sound of Kevin’s phone taking another picture. “It will take them a little bit to sew you up, so I’m gonna get him cleaned up and take his measurements right quick, and then you can have some skin-on-skin time until they wheel you to recovery,” the nurse said.

“He goes with her right?” He asked.

“Unless there’s something the doctor thinks we need to monitor, he’ll be with you for the rest of the time you’re here,” the nurse replied.

She moved away towards a different part of the room and Gina’s head instantly turned back to the left. “Go with him,” she instructed.

He nodded and got to his feet, heading in the same direction the nurse had gone. For the next few minutes Gina lay listening to the conversations taking place around her. Hearing her son suddenly start crying caused her heartrate to surge, and one of the other nurses instantly came over to calm her down. “It’s okay momma, he’s just getting his shots,” she said.

“Sorry,” Gina muttered.

"Don't apologize. You're reacting just like every other first-time mommy. Your baby is upset, and you don't know why, and it makes you upset," a different nurse said, giving her shoulder a reassuring pat. Across the room, Kevin spoke quietly to the nurse as she was cleaning up the couple's son. "He came as a very welcome surprise. She lost her first baby several years ago, and never tried again, to the point she decided she didn't want kids," he said quietly. "He's a rainbow baby," the nurse replied. When she saw that he was confused she explained in more detail. "A rainbow baby is the first baby that a mom carries to term and delivers after miscarriage. It doesn't matter how long it took for him to get here, and we treat these births as something a little more special." "He is definitely that," he said. "Hey Pat, c'mere," the nurse called. The second nurse walked over. "Call downstairs and let them know to set up her room for the arrival of a rainbow baby." "Don't make a huge deal out of it, she won't like it," he protested. Both nurses smiled. "We put a rainbow emblem on the door to her room, and she gets a special little gift box that has a pair of charms in it. One is a rainbow, the other a set of footprints. There will also be an emblem placed on her chart. It and the one on the door just tell staff to expect you both to be a little more on the protective side because of what he is," Pat explained. He relaxed. "Protective is an understatement for her," he said. "The only reason she's not over here is because she's strapped to the table and can't feel her legs." "I kinda figured that when she kept balling her hands into fists when he was crying a few minutes ago. Do you have a name for him yet?" Pat asked. "Bodhi Maverick," he answered. "I like that! That's something else we do, they'll make a little sign to put on the door that says it's his room," Pat said. "Now, you let A'Me take this cutie back over to mom so they can get to know each other, and I'll get things set up and meet you in recovery." Pat left the operating suite, and A'Me picked up Bodhi. Kevin returned to his seat next to her head and she smiled when he returned. He pulled down his mask and they shared several kisses, along with whispered promises of love. "Sheesh kiddo, not even a whole hour old yet and they're already trying to make you a big brother," A'Me kidded. She turned Bodhi in her hands, and with the help of the third nurse they tucked him beneath the drape so that he was lying on Gina's chest where he could hear her heartbeat. "Bodhi is a very healthy twenty-three inches long and weighs eight pounds and two ounces." Gina smiled. She couldn't wait until they got to recovery and she could touch him. She wanted to caress his sweet face and hold a tiny hand in her own so badly. "Hey Bo," she cooed. His little head turned, and tiny dark eyes locked with their larger counterparts. "You know that voice dontcha," Kevin said. Gina spent part of everyday talking to him, telling him what was going on in the outside world, and what they were doing to prepare for his arrival. Dark eyes shifted in his direction for the briefest moment before they returned to stare at his mom's face. "I couldn't stop staring at her when I first met her either," his dad teased, making his mom chuckle.

“He knew me a whole lot longer before his face was where yours is though,” she teased back. Gina looked over as she felt the pressure on her right arm release and saw that A'Me was removing the restraints. "He's to the point now where they're not concerned about having to put you all the way under so we can free you up a little," she said. The nurses made quick work of getting the restraints off and the spare port in her right elbow removed. As soon as her arm was free she worked the joints a few times to get rid of the stiffness and then reached up to gently cup the back of Bodhi's head, tears welling in her eyes as he reacted to her touch with a faint smile. They began running down her temples to her ears, and Kevin began dabbing at them with a kleenex. Half an hour later they wheeled her into recovery, both Pat and A'Me spending an extra few minutes to make sure she was comfortable, before leaving the new little family to enjoy a little privacy before her first round of checks. Gina reveled in feeling Bodhi's weight in her arms and had spent several long moments touching and studying him from head to foot. Once the nurses were gone she had stripped her arms out of her hospital gown and pulled it down so that she was essentially topless in the hopes that Bodhi would be hungry soon. Kevin was sitting in a chair next to the bed, answering questions from family and friends about where they had suddenly snuck off to. They had wanted to keep as much of her pregnancy as they could private and took advantage of Gina's love of baggy hoodies in the winter to keep it hidden, claiming to go out of town for a road trip when she went into labor. They were planning to show up at her mom's on Christmas Eve with the mother of all gifts. The few friends they had told, were overjoyed to be told that the little man had finally arrived and despite the emergency, was perfectly healthy. Bodhi hiccuped, and Gina could feel him shifting against her chest. His head began to turn, and he seemed to be using his nose to follow the scent of her milk. "Babe....babe," Gina said, looking up to get her husband's attention. When Kevin looked up, she gestured towards Bodhi, and they both watched as he accurately located a nipple without help. He opened his mouth to suck on it and with her free hand Gina made a quick adjustment to make sure he would be in the correct position when he latched on. He clamped down on her nipple and began to suck, grunting in satisfaction. She curled a hand around his neck to support his head, smiling down on him as he took something he could get from no one else. The couple shared a kiss, Gina pulling away and making a face when she felt the newborn suck harder, an indication he was getting milk. "You and your daddy, I swear," she kidded, giving Kevin a fond look. He answered with a rakish grin and settled back in the chair again. When her attention returned to the newborn in her arms he sneakily took a picture, and after making sure it was clear what she was doing, without having too much skin exposed, he made it his wallpaper. He looked up again as she shifted Bodhi to her shoulder and began lightly patting his back. Watching her with him made his heart hurt, but in a good way. She went around behaving as if she didn’t want kids to the point she was always anxious to give nieces and nephews back after holding them, yet he could see by the expression on her face, now that Bodhi was here she wasn’t sure why they waited so long to have him. After a few minutes she shifted him again, settling him on her chest and pulling her hospital gown up over him to function as a barrier and help keep him warm. She splayed a hand over his back and cupped the other around his head. Bodhi quickly dozed off, warm and content with his surroundings. Gina smiled and let her head drop back against her pillows, her own eyes drifting shut as the adrenaline wore off. As badly as he wanted to, Kevin couldn't sleep. There was too much to savor. He took another photo and then went back to his phone, and the text conversation

he'd been having with a longtime friend who made custom jewelry. If they could pull it off in time, Bodhi wouldn't be the only surprise this Christmas.

#gina carano #kevin ross #little moments #actor fic

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burnedbyshoto · 5 years

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Hello! Since your askbox is open, is it alright that ask for a request? If so, can you please write a scenario detailing the birth of Todoroki and his s/o’s first child? Maybe he is out on patrol when he hears that his s/o is about to give birth and has his friends rush him there? I’ve been having a bad week, so please inject me with fluff and good feels. Thank you!

anon, love, I hope this helps you feel better! I’m sorry I wasn’t able to upload this the day you submitted. I know I don’t know you, or you know me, but if you want to talk about this bad week please feel free to dm me!!! sending my love

todoroki shouto x first time pregnant!reader

warning: pure fluff!!!

Part Two Part Three Part Four

Pregnancy can be a beautiful thing, and in this case, it typically was.

The day you had found out you were pregnant you could not stop crying, immediately calling Shouto, your loving husband of two years, to bear the good news. While giving you an initial scare by immediately hanging up on you when spilling the news, you were relieved to find him next to you in five minutes with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and misty eyes.

You could still remember holding him tightly as you two hugged as tears fell down your face as you whispered to Shouto that it was real and that he was going to make an amazing parent.

That was exactly thirty-nine weeks ago, and now being an entire week overdue with the same raging pregancy hormones, you wanted this baby out of you!

You were a Pro-Hero before this baby, and you planned on staying a Pro-Hero once the sucker was born. Through a lot of pressure from family, friends, and mostly Shouto, you had agreed to spend the your pregnancy with your alumni U.A. and teach Hero Basics even though you would not be participating in any actual lessons as soon as you couldn’t see your toes anymore.

So there you sat at home, your swollen feet elevated on pillows as a heated blanket lay over your simultaneous cold and hot body, dumb hormones were making you crazy. You were overdue, and you were ready to quite literally kick this baby out of you. Were you excited to be a mother, definitely, but this child seemed to be tap dancing on your bladder like it was life or death.

“Relax, tenshi,” You whispered to your baby, rubbing your swollen belly as you grimaced as a terrible heat flash went throughout your body, “Are you seriously craving donuts right now? We just had an early dinner!” You gasped as images of the sugary sweet dessert flashed through your mind making your mouth water.

“Okay, you convinced me!” You laugh, it took you a while, but soon you managed to squirm off the couch and onto your feet only after two minutes. “That’s a new record, I should tell Shouto…”

How you used to be an S-Rank Pro-Hero you had no idea because now you couldn’t even put on shoes without assistance. “Mama is gonna cry when she has to get back into shape. You made me so fat!” You coo softly to yourself as you waddled over to your purse and grabbed it.

Checking yourself in the mirror, you groaned. Your face was so round that it officially beat Uraraka’s for roundest face in the old class 1-A. You wore a maxi sundress even though it was still February because nothing else fits! Well, sweaty old XXL shirts did but it just was not acceptable in public! Slipping on your sandals, you yelled goodbye to no one in the house and waddled out to buy some donuts.

You eventually made it to the donut shop with drool just about coming down your mouth as you entered the store.

“Ah, Todoroki-sama, I was wondering if you were going to be coming in at all today!” The owner greeted you with a bow as you laughed easily.

“My little Tenshi got his little donut cravings really late tonight, Takashima-sama you wound me, your best customer would never disappoint!” You teased back, your face contorted into a grimace as you clutched your swollen belly, waddling closer to the counter with your wallet ready.

“This one is on the house,” The store owner Takashima said, sliding over a box of half a dozen maple bars.

You teared up, accepting the box while sobbing, and left a generous tip as you went to sit down. Calming down slowly, you groaned as you placed the box down and froze.

Why was your leg wet?

You looked down, hands waving with heightened anxiety and shrieked, “ TAKASHIMA-SAMA, MY WATER BROKE!”

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

Twenty minutes away via car stood Todoroki Shouto walking down the crowded streets of Tokyo with Midoriya and Iida. The three of them had finished working together for a promo radio interview and were now patrolling near their agencies.

“You know, I’ve really come to miss y/l/n-chan walking around with us,” Iida confessed as he waved to a young fan who was pointing him out to his mother.

“It’s Todoroki, Iida-kun,” Midoriya reminds Iida for the millionth time, but knows that no amount of reminding will ever get Iida to not call you by your maiden name.

“Y/n will be back soon after of course, she feels ready to return to the field,” Shouto says silently agreeing with the fact that he missed having his wife with him while working, it had to be the worst thing about you getting pregnant by far.

“Is she not overdue for the baby, as well? Don’t most pregnancies last only thirty-eight weeks?” Iida questioned as they stopped to take pictures with an obvious American fan.

“Y/n’s ob-gyn doctor said we shouldn’t worry, but that if by the end of the week if y/n hasn’t given birth naturally, she’ll need a c-section,” Shouto explained as he pulled out his phone feeling it buzzing. He saw your contact picture, a celebratory picture of you after finishing a rather intense hiking trail during your honeymoon. “It’s y/n.”

The two of them nod their head as they watched Shouto pick the phone to his ear as he turned around to give himself some privacy. Shouto spoke once, nodded three times and hung up after giving his love.

“Well, y/n is in labor, and I need to get going,” Shouto says eerily calm, his arms stiff by his side, and Midoriya just about jumps out of his skin.

“SHE’S IN LABOR?! OH MY GOD, I’M NOT READY!!”

“Do not panic, Midoriya-kun, it is Todoroki who is going to be the father, not you.” Iida reminds Midoriya who is looking in every direction trying to figure out a game plan for getting to the hospital.

“I KNOW THAT! BUT I–” Midoriya stops and looks over at Shouto who is visibly panicking. “Todoroki-kun, are you okay?”

“There are no more trains back to Musutafu until 21:00,” Todoroki says carefully and to their horror, it’s only 18:30. “Even if we take a car, we could be late.”

“No!” Iida and Midoriya yell.

“I’ll get you there on time!” Midoriya affirms turning his back to Shouto. “Get on!”

With a crackle of lighting, and the shout of “RECIPRO BURST” the three Pro-Heroes were gone without a trace.

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

“It hurts!” You scream in pain as contraction after contraction plummets through you, obviously, your baby had no care in the world that 1. mama was in a hell lot of pain and 2. papa wasn’t here yet so you weren’t going to let him leave your womb.

“Todoroki-sama, you need to push! You’re going to get yourself or the baby hurt!” Your doctor yells obviously worried as you clenched your legs tightly together.

“I’m not having this baby without S-Shoucchan here!” You cry as the pain is quickly becoming unbearable.

“Y/n, I’m here!” A very frazzled looking Shouto walks through the delivery room, his body clothed in medical scrubs his face showing his fear and love. You giggle a bit like a lunatic seeing a few leaves stuck in his hair finding it amusing despite the pain.

“Midoriya and Iida brought y-yOU!?” You screamed again as your body is now fighting you on letting your baby come out.

You look up and see Shouto now at your bedside, his hand clutching yours as the doctor commands a few nurses to get things ready. “I was scared I was going to miss this…” Shouto admits as you clench his hand in yours as another painful contraction sears your body.

“You’re not missing anything!” You can’t help but snap as you throw your head back, a thin sheen of sweat covering your body. “Get this baby oUT OF ME!” You shriek at the doctor who has now positioned your legs for delivery.

“Alright, Todoroki-sama, I need you to push for ten seconds, okay?”

“OKAY!!”

And Shouto watched as his wife only tightened her death grip on his hands, curses leaving her lips left and right as she pushed with all her might. He stared over at the doctor who he knew was screaming at his stubborn wife to follow his commands, but he could hear nothing besides the roar of his heartbeat in his ears.

Shouto can’t stop himself from leaning over and pressing a kiss on your sweating forehead as you scream louder to get the baby out of you. Then, Shouto can hear a soft cry. His eyes widen as he watches the pink, white, and bloody baby being held by the doctor and all he can hear is the baby’s cries and the exhausted pants from you.

He looks down to find you slumping in the bed, your hair a complete mess, sweat drenching your body, and tears falling down your face.

“Shoucchan,” You murmur, and immediately Shouto is attending to you, wiping off the sweat, fluffing your pillow and kissing you a million times as both your shaking hands hold each other. “Baby, you’re crying.” You inform him with a weak but incredibly affectionate smile.

Shouto wipes away the tears that fall down his face, only to find himself crying, even more. The nurse eventually brings your guys’ small baby boy over to the two of you and gently handed him to you, and you cradle your baby close to your body. “Hi Kaito,” You coo at the baby who was now soundlessly sleeping on your chest, “I’m your mama, and I just want you to know that even though you were a pain in my ass, I love you so much…”

Shouto snorts as you look up at him and smile, and he comes down to press another kiss on your lips. “Come here, Shoucchan,” You say handing your son over to him, and watched as your husband froze. You waited a moment and then grinned as Shouto reached for baby Kaito and you easily handed him over. You watched with tears in your eyes as Shouto gently bounced with Kaito in his arms, whispering about how much he was going to love him, and how he was going to make Kaito proud to be his son.

“I promise, Kaito, I will never ever let you or your beautiful mama get hurt, and I promise you no matter what happens, I will love you forever and always.”

this made me really soft and kinda was like “maybe pregnancy isn’t that bad???” anywho, hope you enjoyed and have a good rest of your day!!!!!

bonus!

The entire old Class 1-A shuffled through the hallways of the hospital, each claiming to see a different patient so that they could all visit your room.

“Okay, just in case you bozo’s don’t know how to behave around babies, do not scream when we walk in. They are shits to be put to bed, and if you wake up y/n-chan’s sleeping baby, I will end you!” Mina threatens as she eyes down the… louder members of the class. “Second of all, it’s a baby, so don’t talk to it expecting answers, and most importantly, do not. I repeat, do NOT, throw the baby around like it’s some game!”

She gave an obviously pointed glare at Kaminari.

“I’m so excited!” Momo squeals right before they open the door, and with numerous amounts of presents and balloons on hand, nineteen Pro-Heroes entered the room and froze. The sight in front of them making them speechless. Shouto was laying on the bed with you, his arm behind you giving you comfort, and the baby laying on your chest asleep. For the matter at hand, all three of you were asleep without a care in the world.

Some members of the party had to bite down on their hands to keep them from screaming.

Later that night when Shouto woke up for a few minutes and checked his phone for any messages, he then saw a picture of the three of them asleep on the hospital bed on the group chat, with a caption:

‘What a beautiful family, can’t wait for more pictures! Welcome to the family Todoroki Kaito! We love you!’

#todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki shouto #todoroki x reader #bnha todoroki #bnha #bnha writing blog #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha #todoroki shoto imagine #mha todoroki #todoroki scenario #todoroki fluff

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dhwty-writes · 4 years

Text

We Were Born Sick - 2

Summary: Jaskier has successfully hidden his sexuality from Geralt for seven years. Then, he found out. Here's what happened.

Warnings: implied/referenced homophobia, internalized homophobia

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The thing was, Jaskier had a secret. He had nursed it since- well, since his early teenage years, although he'd had his suspicions earlier. He'd done a fairly good job of hiding it so far; his parents didn't suspect a thing and neither did most of the people he met. Only a few choice friends from the Academy were in the know, and they- well, they hadn't cared in the slightest. Quite the opposite, truth be told.

It wasn't something bad, not really. Well, it was, depending on who one asked, but it still ranged among the minor offences. Gods forbid, it wasn't like he'd murdered anyone or something. It was a teeny-tiny little one with truly revolting punishments that were entirely undeserved, if anyone asked him. Still, he was doing his best to keep it from Geralt.

It wasn't that he didn't trust the witcher, necessarily. Quite the opposite, he'd trust him with his life. It was just that he had trusted a lot of men in the past and that he'd managed to enrage almost all of them. And their fathers. Mothers, too, and sisters, sometimes, and definitely grandparents.

And while Geralt had done nothing to indicate a violent streak — barring that first gut punch, of course, but that was on him, really — so had the others and Jaskier truly had no interest at all to see the steel blade pointed at him — or the silver one, gods, what if Geralt had to use silver, what if he was a monster after all, what-

He tried not to think too much about that. And so, Jaskier did his damnedest to keep Geralt from finding out that he liked men in his bed just as well as women. Maybe even preferred them. Probably preferred them.

The thing was, however, Jaskier was terrible at anything that even remotely had to do with keeping secrets. He was a bard, for Melitele's sake. Subtlety was as far from his very spirit as it got. He was loud, bright, and colourful, talked without thinking and 'stealth' had been erased from his vocabulary decades ago.

So, he was bound to slip up at some point. Really, the slip-up was no surprise at all; he was rather shocked how long it had taken for it to happen. His travelling companion was a witcher for fuck's sake, it shouldn't have been that hard! It shouldn't have taken him seven years, Melitele have mercy!

Not that Jaskier had wanted Geralt to find out, he'd been terrified of it for most of the time. Most of the time because there had always been some part of him that had- well, hoped. Hoped for things that Jaskier didn't dare to put into words, not even in the privacy of his mind.

In the meantime, he tried to distract himself from that gorgeous man he was travelling with, who had a chiselled jaw and a body formed by the gods, and- he was drifting off again. He tried to distract himself with pretty girls and pretty boys alike — if he could find one who was amenable to risk being disowned and persecuted by the law for a night just like he was.

They were staying in an inn in Temeria where Geralt had a contract and Jaskier had an audience. He had been playing for half an hour maybe when he felt the burning stare of hungry eyes on him.

He spun and was faced with a handsome young man, endowed with a sturdy frame — a smith's apprentice, perhaps — and wonderful golden curls framing his face, a halo like a honeyed sunflower and- He smiled brightly and winked at the barmaid behind him. The man blushed adorably but returned the smile. 'Gotcha,' he thought triumphantly and carried on with his performance.

Geralt wouldn't return for another few hours, so there was no danger from the witcher at least. The only obstacle were the other patrons and those weren't a problem, really. He knew that dance well enough and it had been quite some time since he had been found out.

He jigged and sang happily, always careful to smile extra brightly when he danced to the lad again, always careful to wink at people near him, never at him, never directly. For an outsider there was nothing out of the ordinary. For them it was exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Once he had finished his performance, he sidled up next to the apprentice boy. "Good evening," he said to no-one in particular.

The boy nodded and looked at him questioningly. "Would you like a drink, maybe?" he asked, obviously very nervous, and very cutely. "For your, uh- sore throat?"

Jaskier flashed him a bright smile. "That would be wonderful," he sighed and made sure that the first three buttons of his doublet were open. "These performances are terribly straining, sometimes."

He flagged down the barmaid and said: "Whatever Jaskier orders. It's on me." He proceeded to order an ale for himself and Jaskier followed suit.

As soon as the barmaid left again, he laughed a little more loudly than he would normally. "I see you know who I am," he said delightedly. "I fear you have me at the disadvantage. I didn't catch your name."

"Mark," he answered and handed him his ale. "I'm afraid, it's not as poetic as yours."

Jaskier took a deep gulp to calm his nerves. "Mark," he repeated thoughtfully. "No, it isn't. But..." He giggled and shook his head. "Oh, no, that's too silly."

His eyes lit up. "What is?"

He smiled mischievously. "You must swear not to tell anyone."

Mark leaned in closer. "I won't."

Jaskier leaned in, too, so that his lips almost grazed his ear when he whispered: "When I was in the Academy, my friends used to call me a lark. That rhymes, so I guess we fit after all."

Mark leaned back and laughed quietly. "You're right, it is silly. But I guess we do."

After that they indulged in a little bit of small talk as they drained their liquid courage. Jaskier could see Mark trying to build up the guts for a question he shouldn't even want to ask and he wasn't about to pressure him. That only ended in arguments and arguments drew attention and attention was the last thing either of them wanted.

When Mark had raised his tankard for the fourth time only to find it empty, he finally cleared his throat: "I, uh- saw you had a horse in the stable. Would you- would you like me to take a look at its shoes before you continue with your journey?" It was a flimsy excuse for anyone who was listening, but as good as any.

"Oh, I would love to!" Jaskier said cheerily and stood. He would surely not let an opportunity like this pass. Geralt hadn't returned and probably wouldn't before sunrise, so they were relatively safe. He tried not to indulge in his desires when the witcher was around for fear that he could smell another man's seed on him — he had an awfully good nose, after all. But like this he'd be able to draw himself a bath and smell of nothing but his soaps when they saw each other again on the morrow.

Jaskier gladly led Mark to the stables. A few horses were happily munching on the hay and barely raised their heads when they passed them. No Roach, though.

As soon as they had found themselves an empty box, he pulled the apprentice into a gentle but unambiguous kiss. "Are you sure about this?" he whispered against his lips.

Mark was very nervous; Jaskier could feel the fluttering of his heart when he pressed up against his chest. Still, he nodded frantically and raised his hands to Jaskier's doublet. "I've never done this before," he confessed.

He smiled and kissed him again. "Don't worry," he said as he trailed kisses along his jaw, "I'll make this good for you." When he nudged his knee between his legs, he found him half hard already. Mark groaned and his head thumped back against the wooden barn wall as Jaskier continued his ministrations.

"Just lean back," he whispered and placed one last kiss on the juncture of his neck and shoulders, "and lean back." Gracefully, he dropped to his knees and began to unlace the other man's breeches while peppering kisses onto his skin, whispering sweet nothings. "You're beautiful," he murmured, relishing the feeling of fingers tangled in his hair, although he wasn't sure if he said it to Mark or himself, "you're wanted, you're just perfect."

There was an awkward harrumph behind him and Jaskier was on his feet in record time. "Shit," he cursed as soon as he saw who had walked in on them, Roach's reins in hand, "oh fuck. Oh, fucking shit, Geralt, I swear this is not what it looks like!"

"Hmm," Geralt said, talkative as ever. "To me it looks like you were about to suck another man's dick." There wasn't the slightest quiver on his face, betraying what he truly felt.

"Uh-" Jaskier stammered and looked to Mark for help. The apprentice, however, looked like he had a hard-enough time not to faint and piss himself as it was. "Then, uh, it's exactly what it looks like." His heart was beating in his throat and he quickly averted his gaze in shame. "Look, Geralt, I'm sorry, I- I'll leave, I'll be gone before you can blink, I- I'll pay you, whatever you want, just please don't report us, don't-"

"Shut up, Jaskier," the witcher interrupted his panicked rambling and turned away. "I don't care. Enjoy your night." The strained look on his face betrayed his lies.

Jaskier scarcely dared to breathe until Geralt had freed Roach from her tack and he was sure that the witcher had left. “Fuck.” Only then his knees buckled and he fell limply to the ground. "Oh, fuck," he cursed again for good measure. "Now that was a mood killer if there ever was one."

"Holy shit," Mark breathed, collapsing next to him. "I thought my time had come."

"Me too," Jaskier muttered. "Shit," he said again, raking his fingers through his hair. "Shit! That was far too close. What am I supposed to do now?" How was he supposed to ever face Geralt again? How was the witcher supposed to ever share a room with him again? Oh, this was his worst nightmare come to life, this was- not what was important now. There was still the apprentice boy whose cock he'd intended to suck. Not that that would be happening now or any time soon.

He looked over to Mark who was shaking like a leaf. "Go home," Jaskier said softly. "That was enough of a shock for half a lifetime, I'll wager."

"Are you sure?" the boy asked insecurely. "Shouldn't we... try to explain or anything? Shouldn't you run for your life?"

Jaskier took another shaky breath. That was the only sensible reaction to this situation, truly. He wasn’t quite sure what it was that kept him from running. Probably the lack of disgust on Geralt’s face when he’d seen them. "No,” he decided firmly. “No, that won't be necessary. Geralt might be a lot of things, but he's no liar. I'll sort this out."

He staggered to his feet and towards the exit. Before following Geralt into the night he turned back one more time. "Next time choose a lover who doesn't travel with a witcher, hm?" he said with a tentative smile. "Good night, pretty boy."

#my writing #we were born sick #geraskier #geralt of rivia #Jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt/jaskier #geraskier fanfiction

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