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jspark3000 · 2 years
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I see people die every week. Often they tell me their regrets.
Please. I plead with you. Live deeply. You may be young now but it goes. Fast. It is a breath. Do not waste time on everyone else’s vision for you. I know it is not this easy. In all the ways you can, please be here.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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I can say this. About 99% of the deaths that I attend at the hospital are marked by grief and honoring. But once in a while, I see a very obvious relief. The person who died was an abusive & monstrous shadow over the family. Death is always sad. But many mixed feelings can follow.
There is always mourning at a deathbed. Sometimes that mourning is for lost potential, for the ways the relationship was fractured, for all the abuse that never should have happened, how even amidst the good, there still was never any accountability or real redemption.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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I looked up "Christian Grief Coaching" because this is a thing.
And good intentions or not, please be safe and cautious.
Any type of training that has a tagline "Grief Stops, Joy Starts" or "reduce suffering 5-8 years often down to months" is at best misguided, at worst a scam.
Weird stuff by Christian Grief Coaches:
- control your emotions, they're deceitful
- a personal firewall to "protect your thought life"
- scripture proven by science (?)
- overcome grief more quickly than with a therapist (yikes)
- “put grief down and learn to live again”
If the above is helpful for you, I'm glad. There are definitely healthy Christian ways to grieve. But I find this to be rigid, formulaic, sales-pitchy. I've seen how badly evangelical theology falls short for grief. I can’t recommend.
Am I getting this wrong? Open to hear more.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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A reminder from the hospital that pain changes people. It does not excuse abusive behavior, but 99% of the time I’ve seen how pain can turn the kindest person irritable, sullen, erratic, disengaged. In those moments, they’re not their best selves.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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Two years ago I almost started a podcast.
I went to therapy instead.
Turns out it was a much better decision.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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Two years ago I went to therapy & began taking antidepressants.
Few things I wish I knew then:
1) It’s okay to shop for a therapist.
2) It’s okay to ask about adjusting meds.
3) Therapy is not a quick fix. It requires real work.
4) Not everyone will understand and that’s okay.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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Hi, I dunno if this is something you're interested in hearing or not but I just wanted to let you know that you've made a really positive impact on my life, your posts and your perspectives on theology and politics were a part of what helped me deconstruct the harmful conservative evangelical ideologies I was brought up in, and transition to a much more kind and compassionate and loving faith, and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing things on this blog because it does make a difference, at least it did for me
Thank you so much for your kind words. Really thank you. I’m not here on Tumblr as much since it’s become a very negative space (even worse than Facebook and Twitter, which I never would have imagined), but I am so glad and grateful for kind messages like yours. Thank you.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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Hello friends. I am so happy to share that I was interviewed by the Today Show to talk about my hospital chaplain work. I am very grateful to reporter Kait Hanson for reaching out to me. Thank you to all my coworkers, fellow chaplains and healthcare workers: could not and would not do this without you.
https://www.today.com/health/health/hospital-chaplain-normalizes-grief-dying-viral-social-media-posts-rcna43885
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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Just a reminder to be especially kind to all in the service industry. They were on the frontline before the pandemic & they still are. Servers, grocery workers, delivery drivers, sanitation, pest control, home repair, daycare, librarians, and more. Be kind, period.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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As a Christian, when I do something kind, I’m not trying to “win them back” or “represent the real church” or “show them a real Christian.” No agenda. That’s not kindness. I’m choosing to be human. What I believe that God made us to be. Doing the right thing. Is all.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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Not once did an atheist or liberal or leftist make me doubt my faith. Only two things ever did that: suffering and church folks. And a lot of that suffering came from church folks.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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I’m thankful to those who let me ask questions, who kept my secrets, who stayed with me in silence, who led a life of steady verbs instead of loud nouns, who never competed or condemned, who made a safe and sacred space to vent, confess, weep, and rest.
I’m thankful to those who laughed with me, who laughed completely and fully from the deepest place, for hours on end.
I’m thankful to those who had a vulnerable faith. Not perfect, never flexing, no hint of faking or fashionable, but always passionately seeking. Who let me discover with them. I can only hope to pass on the same kindness you’ve shown me.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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A kind and gentle reminder.
Your favorite author or activist or blogger is not your therapist, doctor, coach, or guide, and most likely not a journalist, scientist, researcher, or your friend. Their insight can be valuable. But 1) always fact check and 2) check your online boundaries.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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9 times out of 10, I get really compassionate comments. So I’m lucky. But posts go viral & bring out the most original trolls (by original I mean they all sound like each other). 🤷🏻‍♂️
instagram.com/p/CgKGLJTOZbE/
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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Sometimes grief feels far away, barely a ripple of the ocean in the distance. But other times, like now, grief is close enough to squeeze my lungs and make it hard to breathe. Years can pass and suddenly, those waves can hurt just as much as they did yesterday. I remember.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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What many do not consider
is that whether *you* believe in someone else’s choice
does not permit you authority over their autonomy
and we need fuller options for healthcare, well-being, & thriving
—not less.
Unraveling rights
does not end
it only ends those
with no power.
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jspark3000 · 2 years
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As a Christian, when I do something kind, I’m not trying to “win them back” or “represent the real church” or “show them a real Christian.” No agenda. That’s not kindness. I’m choosing to be human. What I believe that God made us to be. Doing the right thing. Is all.
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