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1nephthys · 6 months

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I don't like coffee

Word count: ~1.4k

Summary: When Lando Norris pulled Lando NoRizz in front of his (and everyone really) biggest celebrity crush

Pairing: Lando Norris x actress!reader

Warning: Carlos, Daniel and Oscar are being amazing wingmen, my bad English and also my first time doing this Instagram thing at the end so idk if I did it correctly

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The race in Brazil was cool and all that, but there was one specific reason why the fans went crazy for it.

Y/N Y/L/N.

When the first person noticed her around the paddock, the whole internet knew, even though Y/n was there just for fun, just because she was a huge fan of the sport so when she was invited to watch the race from RedBull garage she couldn't say no.

Even the drivers wanted to talk to her during the whole rush of the weekend.

Lando Norris had his chance right after the podium, where he proudly stood on the second step. After the nice conversation he had with the girl, he went straight to his driver's room to call his parents and his best friend.

He was about to press the green button on his phone to make a call when suddenly the doors opened and Oscar was in his room as well. Lando even stood up in surprise.

"Please, tell me you did not turn the y/n y/l/n, the famous actress, the face of the year, probably the most gorgeous girl on this planet down." He said to his teammate.

"What?" Lando asked, even more surprised than when Oscar entered the room. He was the type of guy who knew how to knock and now he was there, accusing him of turning down his celebrity crush? "I didn't, she asked me-"

He didn't have any chance to finish his sentence when Carlos entered the room as well, looking like he was some kind of mad man.

"Lando" He went straight to his friend and with the palm of his hand, hit the forehead of his friend "What have you done?"

"Ouch! What? What have I done? What are you two talking about? And who let you in there?" Lando was surprised, to say the least. And he had no idea what those two were talking about. Also, he thought about how Carlos, the Ferrari driver, got in his driver's room, in McLaren.

"You turned y/n down!" He yelled at him.

"What? No, I didn't! I would never do that" He said. "And how do you know I even talked to her?"

"Fans are everywhere, mate." Oscar explained as he crossed his arms on his chest. Carlos was now walking around the room.

"Oh my god, but I didn't do anything. It was just a nice talk. I doubt she would agree if I asked her out." Lando explained himself. Yes, he had the biggest crush on her but c'mon, she would never have a crush on him.

"We heard something else" Oscar commented, he didn't really know what Carlos heard, but as he looked at him, he assumed that the Spaniard heard the same rumors he did.

"And what exactly was this nice talk about?" Carlos asked, annoyed by his friend having absolutely zero brain cells.

"Well, at first she congratulated me, said I was great there. Then I thanked her and told her I was a huge fan of her newest movie. Then, she asked me if I wanted to grab some coffee so I said I don't like it and then-" Lando stopped and then- "OH MY GOD, IT WASN'T JUST ABOUT COFFEE, WAS IT?" He yelled, now he realized.

"Lando, dios mio. I can't believe you." Carlos said as he held his head.

"God, so you really turned y/n down" Oscar said as he tried to stop this chuckle from escaping (not very successfully).

"Stop making fun of me! What do I do now? Christ! I was nervous and I don't know! Help me, now that you yelling at me!" Lando panicked, did he just lose the chance he waited for half of his life? No, that can't be happening.

"Firstly, calm down. Secondly, go find her and ask her to go out with you!" Carlos said as he looked at his friend.

And if panicking and two yelling guys weren't enough, he heard a voice.

"Well, I wanted to ask if it's true, but from what I'm hearing right now, I assume you really did reject y/n y/l/n?" Daniel asked with his infamous smile, maybe it wasn't the best time to make fun of his friend but he just couldn't stop it.

"Stop! This isn't funny! And who let you all be there? It's McLaren!" He said annoyed, now he had to deal with his own stupidity and three guys there.

"Alright, alright!" Daniel lifted his arms in defence "I just wanted to let you know that you have your chance to fix your mistakes. She's in RedBull, talking to Max. She's waiting for her ride to the hotel."

Daniel said and Lando stood there, frozen, what were the chances he would see her again if he didn't talk to her now?

"What are you waiting for? Go!" Carlos had to push Lando a bit, but he started running as soon as he was out of the room. Three guys left behind, smirking to each other's, and crossing their fingers for their friend.

Lando didn't really have much time to think about what he wanted to say as all the way there he was just thinking about not tipping over and falling on his face.

So, now he was standing in front of really surprised (and a bit embarrassed about being rejected after the first time asking a guy out) y/n and Max.

Of course, Max heard as well so he just said "Oh! the mechanic just called me over there! It was nice meeting you, y/n!" He said as he left and went towards this mechanic who called him over (maybe he was a bit crazy for hearing voices).

Lando was still breathing heavily, but he felt awful about this silence that he caused. They talked really comfortably before he rejected her. "Hi, again. I know what I said about coffee but for my justification, I hate coffee and I really couldn't think straight after the race. So, I wanted to ask if you maybe like... uh... hot chocolate. I know it's a bit childish, but I know a really great place and they actually have nice coffee too so if you like, you can have a coffee and I can have a chocolate and... " He realized he started ranting but he also noticed that little smile forming on her lips.

"Lando, I would love to grab some drinks with you."

"Really?" He face-palmed himself mentally and probably all four men who were watching from around the corner did that as well. "I mean, that's fantastic, we can go tomorrow if you would like that?" He tried to compose himself but then she giggled a bit and he was folded all over again at this angelic sound.

"That suits great with me. Should I leave you my number, so you can call me with more details?" She asked as she noticed on her phone the message that the car was already there to pick her up.

He looked around him, only to realize he was still in his champagne-covered racing suit. And his phone was in his driver's room.

Well, that's what he thought but then Daniel appeared right beside him.

"Hi y/n! It's great having you there! Are you enjoying yourself?" Aussie asked as he pushed Lando's phone into his hands, trying to be smooth about it. As he did it, he didn't even give y/n any chance to answer "Well I gotta go! Nice seeing ya!" He said as he went back behind the corner to three other drivers who tried to help.

"Yeah, that was- sorry" Lando said but hey, at least it was less awkward as they both laughed a little. Lando handed y/n his phone and she put her number there, Leaving Lando to write some good name to it.

"I think I really have to go now. I will see you tomorrow, right?" She asked as she put her own phone into her purse.

"Yeah, I will pick you up in the evening" Lando smiled one last time as he watched her making her wait towards the exit of the paddock after saying quick good bye. To the boys behind corner as well.

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Landonorris

Liked by F1, Carlossainz55 and 967,301 others

Landonorris the coffee was worth it:)

View all 13,431 comments

Yourusername The greatest coffee I ever had:)

Landonorizz LMAOOOOO so the coffee rumors were true

Londonnorrisfanclub Lando fr never beating those no rizz allegations

Carlossainz55 glad you had fun

Danielricciardo you are very welcome mate

Lando2024worldchamp why do I have a feeling that him, Carlos and Oscar put some sense into him Oscarpiastri that's cause we did Landonorris can you all stop embarrassing me now please Danielricciardo let us have some fun too

Y/nismine nooooooo not the vroom vroom guy who doesn't know whats flirting is stealing my wife

Landoxy/n so he heard that we knew about him rejecting the mother so he decided to show us that at the end of the day he got it?

a/n. I hope you enjoy it! There's no much y/n but at least the boys are funny. Also, my requests are always open so you can send anything! kisses:)

#lando norris imagine #lando norris #lando x reader #lando imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #lando norris social media au #ln4 imagine #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 fluff #oscar piastri #daniel ricciardo #carlos sainz #max verstappen

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thatfandomslut · 3 months

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Project Flowers

Gretchen Wieners x Reader

Word Count: 3k - I got very carried away with this one.

Trigger Warnings: insecurity, explicit language, tooth-rotting fluff

Request:

Hello, there! Do you write for Mean Girls? If so, I would like to request a Gretchen Wieners x reader fluff, please? Reader is new to school and has four brothers---the oldest used to date Regina. Regina and the brother, seeing Gretchen's growing crush on the reader, decides to play match-maker. One night, Regina convinces the reader to go with her to a "hang-out" where Gretchen is waiting with flowers.

Mean Girls requests are open.

"North Shore High is all about their cliques, which is why you're so lucky to have us." Lucas pulled on his varsity jacket, fixing his hair in the reflection of his car window. The action made (Y/n) roll her eyes with crossed arms as Michael slung his bag around his shoulders, nodding in agreement. As much as (Y/n) loved her brothers and begged to be able to attend public school, she was being reminded of how conceited and full of themselves her brothers truly were. It was the most amazing but unfortunate experience to have four older brothers while joining a new school where they were high on the social pyramid. "You will have to do a sport though. Maybe you'd like track?"

Daniel gently clapped his back to shut him up before gesturing towards the school. "Ready for your first day, (Y/n)? Sophomore year isn't all that bad. Plus, you're in AP English with James, so you'll at least have someone you know for a period." Daniel offered some comfort. He was the kinder of the four, Lucas being the more narcissistic of them. But she loved them all equally. "I think we all have to same lunch, too. So, hopefully, we'll see you then. Come on, guys, let's leave her be. Let's let her get some experience with normal school and get off her back." He tried to lead her brothers away.

"Don't talk to any of the horny douchebag boys here!" Called out Michael, pointing at her. Some passersby glanced her way, but she shrugged it off. She wasn't planning on talking to any boy if she could help it. If there was anything that her all-girls private school taught her, it was that girls were so much better. Still, she took heed of Michael's warning and attempted to steer clear of all of the boys who looked her over like she was a prize to be one throughout the hallway. Instead, she saw a different familiar face.

Regina George looked just as beautiful as she did when she last saw her. She had powerful red, pouty lips with eyeliner so sharp, it could cut someone. "(Y/n)," her voice cut through the hall, sounding more like a question as everyone stopped to see who she was talking to. Regina was never mean to her, and Regina's breakup with Lucas didn't end messy. Maybe that was because it was a summer fling, though. "I thought you went to North Shore All-Girls Academy?" She approached, two girls following her. One of the girls had dark brown hair with chocolate-colored eyes that had no thought behind them. The other girl, however; caused her breath to hitch in the back of her throat as she made eye contact with her. She had honey-blonde hair that fell in ringlets at the bottom of her hair, and her eyes were a soft amber.

"I wanted to come here with my brothers. It was a regretful idea saying as they want me to hang out with them during lunch." She hummed, a playful smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Regina wasn't one to hug anyone, so when she hugged (Y/n), everyone was caught off guard. (Y/n) hugged back happily as she allowed the blonde to give her a gentle squeeze pulling away. The other two girls behind Regina stared at her due to how out-of-character Regina was being. However, neither of them said nothing. "Plus, since Lucas was too dumb, I don't get to see you as much."

Regina flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder as she began leading (Y/n) and the other girls away from the ogling crowd. (Y/n) was in a state of awe at how popular Regina seemed to be. It threw her off guard in a way. "This is Karen Shetty and Gretchen Wieners," she introduced the two, grabbing the schedule from (Y/n)'s hand. She seemed to be showing her where to go, so (Y/n) didn't protest the snatch. "And don't worry about spending your lunch with your brothers, you can eat with us. This is your homeroom. Your next class is upstairs, turn right, third door." Regina said simply, passing the schedule back before stopping at a classroom. (Y/n) thanked her before entering the class, many other sophomores staring widely at her. She didn't understand why, still not getting the gravity that hanging out with Regina held on the student body.

Around lunchtime, (Y/n) wandered the halls, and headed towards the cafeteria. It wasn't too hard to find. There were too many signs indicating where it was. Before she could enter, Regina, Gretchen, and Karen found her first. "Hello, (Y/n)," Gretchen waved, smiling brightly. The smile caused a slight flutter in (Y/n)'s chest, heat rising to her ears as she waved back. Normally, Regina would comment on not having the first word, but she noticed how flustered both Gretchen and (Y/n) were acting with each other. So, she said nothing as they went to the lunch line. "So, the rules are, you can't wear a tank top two days in a row, you can only wear a ponytail once a week, jeans and track pants can only be worn on Fridays, and on Wednesdays we wear pink. You have to follow these rules, or you're not allowed to sit with us." Gretchen told (Y/n) as she sat beside her. (Y/n) nodded at her words, Regina still eyeing them closely.

"I got you, then. Those rules aren't too hard to follow. Maybe I can get your number so you can remind me to wear pink on Wednesday?" (Y/n) asked, causing Gretchen to clumsily pull out her phone so they could exchange numbers. Regina smirked slightly, realizing how smooth it was (Y/n). After all, she had Regina's number, she could always have asked her to remind her. She had a feeling by all of Gretchen's questions on the way to homeroom, that it was because the girl was interested in her ex's little sister. "Thanks, I'll just text you tonight to make sure I got the rules down, if you don't mind."

Gretchen shook her head kindly, hoping her hair could hide the blush forming on her cheeks. At this final display, Regina stood up, causing Karen, Gretchen, and (Y/n) to look her way. "I'm going to go get cheese fries." She excused herself before finding Lucas and pulling him into the lunch line with her. "Your sister is flirting with my friend," Regina said, causing Lucas's eyes to practically bulge out of his head as he stared at her for a long moment. "I think they'd be cute together. You're going to help me get them together by Spring Fling, at least." Regina stated, and Lucas could only nod. He knew not to defy Regina, he was smarter than that. And that is how Project Flowers commenced. It was an opportunity, that through time would help Gretchen and (Y/n) get together. Because Regina knew them both, and she knew that they were going to need help. Specifically, they needed Regina's help.

Regina allowed herself a few of weeks in order to let the two develop their relationship as friends before dropping hints to the girls that they liked each other, or she would mention different outfits she knew the other would like. "You know Gretchen, that one crop top you wore to the mall when we took Cady shopping, I overheard (Y/n) telling Karen how good you looked in it." Regina would say as she talked to Gretchen. "(Y/n), Gretchen absolutely adores your smile." She would say to (Y/n). But she was getting relentless with the responses of 'Are you sure?' Of course, she was sure. She was never wrong about anything, and she was not wrong about their feelings. Lucas also played his part, telling Gretchen little things that (Y/n) enjoyed. He would also tell (Y/n) about how he and Regina were talking about things Gretchen liked. Which always confused (Y/n) on why they brought Gretchen up, but she ignored this fact and got everything that was mentioned for Gretchen.

She was getting annoyed at all the gushing and blushing that (Y/n) and Gretchen did with each other. Their inadvertent flirting and their obliviousness killed Regina. It almost made her want to throw up in annoyance. But what was worse was the fact that they would do little things, like touch the other's hand, and then they'd pull away from each other quickly. It made Regina want to take their hands and force their fingers to intertwine together. She never thought she'd care about a relationship other then her own until she saw how disgusting in love her friends were getting for each other.

"Here's the plan, Lucas, listen up. I know you have trouble listening, so please put your listening ears on." Regina spoke to him like a child, but he didn't mind. Instead, he just listened to the blonde as he sat at a desk in the empty classroom they were in. Shane was trailing after Regina like a lost puppy but had no clue what was going on. "Tonight, I'm going to talk to Gretchen, and you need to talk to (Y/n). Then, I am going to ask her to hang out, but I am not going to be there. It's going to be Gretchen. Understood? So, somehow find out what kind of flowers she likes. For Gretchen, of course."

Lucas nodded briefly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Glancing over at Shane, he raised his brows momentarily. "Okay, sounds good." He stood up, getting ready to leave. After all, he was his siblings' ride, and they would get suspicious if he was any later to leave for the car. Still, he stopped before exiting. "Hey, Regina… You doing this for Gretchen and (Y/n)… It's nice to see you have a heart. But, also, just so you know, you deserve love, too. You and I both know Aaron and Shane are phases. Sorry, Shane." Regina narrowed her eyes at him as he smirked playfully before leaving. He knew she could kill him with that stare. However, he knew that Regina deserved love, too, and he saw the way she looked at Cady.

"Where were you?" (Y/n) questioned, still leaning on the car. Her question was directed at Lucas, but her eyes were on Gretchen talking animatedly to Karen in the distance. The ghost of a smile played on her lips and Daniel nudged her shoulder to let her know they were piling in. Since she was the shortest, she was required to sit in the middle so Lucas could see out of the back windshield. Forgetting her question, and forgetting that it never got answered, she got in. A small part of her wanted to look back at Gretchen, but she forced herself to get in and ignore that feeling of want that settled in the pit of her stomach. Especially because she knew Gretchen would never like her that way. Still, she got out her phone to send a quick text to the girl.

As they drove, Lucas looked back at (Y/n) using the mirror, who was still texting. The smile on her face let him know who she was talking to. Then, he remembered he needed to know her favorite flower. The good thing was that (Y/n) was in the social reject group of band nerds. How Regina ever let that slide was beyond Lucas. However, she had a concert that weekend and it was the perfect excuse to ask her what flowers she would like. "Hey, (Y/n), for your band concert this weekend," he got her attention, her eyes flickering up to look at him, even if his eyes were currently on the road. "What kind of flowers would you like us to bring you?" He inquired, delivering a quick glance before looking back at the road.

All of the boys, excluding Lucas, were now looking at (Y/n)- they were very supportive. Still, all of the eyes on her made her nervous. "Well, it's going to sound basic, but my favorite flowers are pink roses. So, I guess, if you all were to bring flowers, I would want those." She answered, hoping this would get their attention off of her. For one of the Plastics, she didn't like all of the attention. Not even from family. But that probably came with being the youngest girl in a family of four older brothers. There was constantly so much attention on her, that it was sometimes suffocating. With that said, when it came to Gretchen's attention, she wanted it. She wanted Gretchen to look at her. She loved it when Gretchen smiled at her. It was like she was Ken in the new Barbie movie.

A text pinged on her phone and she looked down, hoping it was from Gretchen, but instead, she saw it was from Regina. 'Hey, loser <3, meet me at the park at 7,' it read. Typing a quick confirmation, she got ready but before she could, she was stopped by Lucas who had a suspiciously caring smile on her face. She knew a big talk was coming and she dreaded getting elder brother advice from Lucas of all her older brothers.

"I just wanted to talk to you about Gretchen. I know, because I see how you look at her, and how you look at yourself, that you don't feel good enough." He said, causing surprise to grow on her face. How he knew how she was feeling was beyond her. But maybe she sold him out short. Maybe he did pay attention to more than just himself. "You are good enough for Gretchen. You are so kind and caring, (Y/n). And I can see it in Gretchen's face that she sees that in you. You need to go for it. You've got this."

A smile fell on her face as she embraced her brother. "Thank you," she whispered as he hugged back. He left her room as she changed into something more comfortable but still within Plastics standards. As she got ready for the park, she texted Gretchen and asked if she'd be at the park, too. After waiting a few moments, she tried not to pout at the lack of response before grabbing a jacket and making her way over to meet Regina. Maybe it was just a hangout with only Regina. She felt guilty all of a sudden, hoping she didn't make Gretchen feel left out. Then the overthinking came in, and she wondered if she should even go. On the other hand, Regina would be pissed if she didn't make it. Even if she was kinder to (Y/n) than most people, it didn't make her immune to Regina's quips now and again.

Making her way through the park, she was surprised to see Gretchen at the tree. Squinting slightly, (Y/n) could see that she was holding something. Looking around, she noticed that there was no sign of Regina, so she decided to make her way over. "Hey, Gretchen," she greeted, startling the honey-blonde girl. She finally noticed that in Gretchen's hands were her favorite flowers, and she was starting to realize what was going on. She was tricked into coming here to meet Gretchen by Regina and her brother. Her brother wasn't asking about the rose for the concert- though her brothers would still get her flowers. And Regina staged the hangout, and she must've convinced Gretchen to come out here.

"(Y/n), hey! I was waiting for you." Gretchen bit her lip nervously, extending the roses over to (Y/n). (Y/n) blinked before smiling slowly. Looking up at Gretchen with a wide smile, she started to see the confidence starting to circulate in her amber eyes. "I've been wanting to talk to you about something. So, Regina told me to meet you here and to tell you. So I'm going to go for it." Gretchen gave herself a moment, breathing in. (Y/n) wanted to kiss her right then and there, but she also wanted to hear what she wanted to say. "I really like you. You are so caring and kind. You're funny, smart, and creative. You mean everything to me, and I really want to go on a date with you. We could get coffee or boba together. But also, I really want to be your girlfriend."

(Y/n) gently took a step forward, and with one hand (the other was still clutching the flowers), she pulled Gretchen in. The two girls looked at each other for a moment before Gretchen nodded and (Y/n) completed the distance between them. Kissing her deeply, she felt Gretchen's hands cup the back of her neck. Everything felt complete, and (Y/n) had to stop smiling in the kiss. "I really want to be your girlfriend, too, Gretchen." (Y/n) whispered on her lips, causing Gretchen to kiss her again happily.

"About time," Regina said with her arms crossed, standing next to Lucas, who was looking away respectfully. He obviously didn't want to intrude on his little sister's first kiss. "I thought by the time you two got the balls to ask each other out, we'd be in an elderly home," Regina stated with a quick wink, the other two girls red in the face. "I hope you two have a good time at your picnic. Never say I didn't do something for you. Lucas, the basket, let's go."

The words confused the girls until they noticed Lucas holding the picnic basket in his hands, passing it to his sister. (Y/n) smiled shyly, thanking him before Regina and Lucas went their separate ways. Gretchen and (Y/n) laughed for a moment before going through the basket to find a mix of their favorite snacks. Setting up the area, the two stayed out until the night fell, creating their constellation, their hands connecting them like stars in the night sky, (Y/n) looked over at Gretchen, smiling when she turned over, too. (Y/n) noted in her mind that Gretchen was prettier than all the stars before placing a gentle kiss on Gretchen's lips, Gretchen reciprocating gently. Nothing could ever ruin this moment, (Y/n) decided as she pulled away, smiling widely at the girl. Gretchen turned her head once more and (Y/n) did, too, as they continued to stargaze.

#gretchen wieners x reader #gretchen wieners #mean girls x reader #mean girls

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lani-heart · 16 days

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|| series masterlist || next // previously

parings -> ( eventually ) enhypen x reader genre -> soulmate au, fantasy au, angst warnings -> angst word count -> 2.9k

abstract -> Humans were alot fragile than you think...

y/n's perspective

After accepting Jay we took things relatively slower than with Sunoo, Jungwon, Niki, and Sunghoon. Sunghoon was actually the one who didn’t rush things but everything was faster with him. Which is funny because so did Jungwon.

Jungwon went on for a week to convince me that Sooha wouldn't get in between what he wanted to happen. He continued to convince me… and Sunoo I already accepted but thought it should be a little harder for him. Niki was a troublemaker… but he was a peacemaker for me. He also took things slow which was nice.

Sunghoon was definitely like an overprotective boyfriend, whilst Jungwon was actually very jealous. He hated sharing attention since he was the only one who didn’t need to share since I accepted them. Sunghoon was a big puppy… protective but his wolf, Solon, was really cute. Really cuddly.

Jay though… Everything was slow. He was very caring though, which I appreciate.

Everything was nice… Heeseung was still complicated. I didn’t know how to feel about him. Jungwon And Jay explained how he’s been acting but it wasn't in my place to comfort him.

“You okay, love?” I heard as I saw my first soulmate. “Yeah, just tired?” I said and he kissed the top of my head. “You should rest up. Have you eaten yet?” he asked and I nodded.

“Jay was here for lunch a few hours ago,” I said and he smiled. “I’m glad he isn’t as bad as I thought he’d be,” he said and I chuckled. “With him and Sunoo you can’t forget to eat anymore” he teased and I smiled.

Jungwon was also the same where he forgot to eat so seeing them get along again was good for his health.

“y/nnie!!!” I heard as I saw Niki.

“Hello to you too,” I said and he laughed. “When are we getting the results for sports day?” He asked only because the vampires and Riverfield were betting if they won that they’d get to do anything to their class logo.

“It’s being looked over by the teacher administration” I answered and he grumbled. Despite not actually playing he did try to rig a few things.

“Sunoo also is fighting with Wonyoung about the masquerade ball they're organizing, '' he added and I sighed. The ball was something Bright Sun was quite known for. Now that we’re hitting the end of the year, we got the okay that we can do a ball to end the school year.

“I’ve seen the pictures of old Bright Sun masquerades, it looks so magical,” Jungwon said and I smiled. “What's so special about it anyway?” Niki asked and I chuckled.

“It's actually called Samhain. Usually, it's celebrated on another day but for the school, we do it at the end of the year. With the sudden merge this semester I didn’t think we’d be able to do it” I explained and they nodded.

‘What is it about?” he asked and I sighed. “Actually it's quite sad. It's to celebrate those who have passed but, we try to go all out with this event” I said and they nodded.

“y/n! Control your leeches!” Wonyoung said angrily. She must've gotten angry with Sunoo? “I’m sorry– Hey!! You can’t just shut me out now?!” Sunghoon yelled as Sunoo was next to him but passed through? So she was mad at Sunghoon?

“He wants to interfere in planning when it isn't his business! He just announces that's it!” she said as she now pouted on her desk. “Hmm, maybe you should keep him kicked out of here” Sunoo said as he laughed at Sunghoon who’s jaw dropped at the slander.

“y/n!!” he yelled in hopes of defense. “What did you suggest?” I asked and he smiled at finally getting a chance. “So, I suggested if it could be like a homecoming–” “No” I cut him off. “Hah!” Wonyoung let out. “You didn't even let me finish!” he whined.

“Just let them plan, it seems too important to add things to it. Be happy we were even included and not just their class” Jungwon said and he sighed as he was finally able to enter.

“That's true… if it was my decision it would only be a Bright Sun exclusive event,” Wonyoung said. “But that's mean” I heard as I saw Sooha. She walked through the barrier?

“Huh? How…” Wonyoung muttered as I saw Heeseung and Jake shut out the barrier. “She’s a human-vampire hybrid,” Jungwon said and Sooha smiled awkwardly and bowed in respect. “Why are you three here?” she asked. “Oh! We wanted to make a suggestion for the upcoming event!!” Sooha said and the boys next to me sighed. Wonyoung also looked like she could kill anyone right now…

“You're not even a council member,” Wonyoung said and Sooha smiled. “I am actually! Jungwon and Heeseung agreed to let me be a part of the Decelis Council!” she said and I looked at Jungwon who sighed. “When did this happen?” I asked and he smiled softly. “The morning,” he said and Wonyoung did not look happy. “What's your suggestion?” I asked and she grinned happily.

“So! I was thinking of maybe… having the school do a sort of Valentine-inspired event? Where you can ask to be someone's date to the event!” She suggested it and I didn't hate it. I looked at Wonyoung who looked at me back.

“I actually like the idea” I said and Wonyoung nodded stubbornly.

“Really?!” she said and I smiled. “We could do it to help fundraise for student council funding,” I said and Wonyoung nodded in agreement. “So telegrams, flowers, all the Valentine's day junk again?” she asked I nodded.

“We could announce it I suppose” Wonyoung also added, accepting the suggestion. “Could I help organize it?” Sooha asked.

“Oh? Well, the event planners would most likely do that so you could work with Sunoo and Niki in Decelis” I said and she nodded. “Who are the other event planners?” she asked.

“Me, Maki, Jacob, Kevin, Niki, Sunoo, and now you” Wonyoung said and Sooha looked disappointed.

“K is the vice president, he does errands for EJ so he mainly works around me and Wonyoung, Jungwon, Sangyeon and Juyeon” I explained in which she nodded clearly trying to hide her disappointment.

“Thank you for your suggestion Sooha! It was really clever” I said, giving her a compliment in which she grinned widely. “I wanna be of help!” she said as she skipped towards Heeseung and… Jake.

“Thank you, for being nice,” Jungwon said and I nodded. I never hated her… but I never did put in an effort.

Heeseung and Jake made their choice.

jay’s perspective

“No! Go away!” I scolded as I put the food down by the door of her dorm. “Come on I just–” “No Jake! You knew what you were doing… there's no explaining that. You chose Sooha so leave her alone” I said and he didn't want to listen.

I suddenly saw her stare at us in shock. She looked at Jake frozen as to why he was here. “I need to talk–” “No, he’s just leaving,” I said as I got in front of her facing Jake. “Quit the overprotective bullshit,” he said and I noticed she gripped her hands around my uniform.

She was scared of him.

“Jake, leave or I'll get Sunoo to make you” I said and he scoffed. “No, look y/n I just want to explain myself” he said now trying to look behind me to her but I decided to not let him near her. I wasn’t gonna let him accidently hurt her again. I defended him… it was an accident he does things based on emotion. She did nothing wrong though… and I won't let my friendship with him affect that.

“Can I please just talk–” “I don’t want to talk to you” she cut him off before I could. I could see his shocked expression but he didn't look like he was gonna give up.

“Why is everyone acting like I killed someone?! Look I know I hurt you but it was an accident!” he started getting emotional and I felt her now pressing herself against my back trying to protect herself. “Jake, just go, Heeseung–” “You don't understand!!” he said while he used his fire. I noticed how she now crouched down in a ball trying to protect herself. I crouched down petting her hair. “Hey, come on let's get you inside the dorm” I said but she didn't move.

“I didn’t mean to–” “You never do. Jake quit it… you rejected her move on. Go find Heeseung before I do… and you know he won’t be happy knowing what you're trying to do” I warned and he now looked frustrated with himself.

“I just don’t understand why she’s so scared of me?” he muttered and I scoffed. “You never understand why fire hurts because you're immune. You’ve never felt a burn in your life, and you haven’t had your soulmate hurt you and reject you” I said as I picked her up bridal style and grabbed her key to open her dorm.

“Go to the dorms, Jake. Whatever you’re trying to do is useless”

jake’s perspective

I left feeling stupid. I really just need to explain… but I didn't mean to use my fire again.

I went to the dorms where things were normal? Everyone was bonded with her besides me and Heeseung. He acted like everything was normal and there wasn’t anything different than before. Everything was different for me though and… I felt like an outsider.

Jungwon and Heeseung worked alongside each other like always whilst Sunghoon and Sunoo were friends again. They hung out outside the dorms often to go to the city and now they're the same as before, even planning on things they could do with their soulmate. Niki and Jay even got along again… Jay took care of a lot of the younger members and… I had no one.

Everyone was mad at me for losing control. The only person I had left was Sooha and she… she’s mated to that Riverfield wolf. I had no one… and now I was ostracized by everyone.

I opened my palm to reveal my power… it really was a curse. What would it feel like? Would it really hurt as much as people say it would?

I sighed and went again… I knocked on her door. Jay should be gone by now… I heard her footsteps rushing to the door and opened it only to slam it closed again before I could speak.

“I… I'm sorry you're so scared of me. I wanted to make a request… I want you to make it so I could feel burns” I said and I was met with silence. I was gonna walk away thinking it was stupid to try when she opened the door… only by a crack though.

“W-what?” she asked. I sighed… “I wanna know how it feels” I said and her eyes showed confusion. I could barely see her but I could see that she was wearing casual clothing… and the bandages around her neck.

“Why?” she asked and I didnt know either. “I think I just need to understand it,” I said and shook her head. “That goes against the rules under Bright Sun, I can't–” “It's only against the rules if you cause me harm. It wouldn’t be you, doing it” I said and she still shook her head.

I was disappointed but I understood it was a crazy request.

“Why… Why were you here earlier?” she asked and I was shocked she’d let me talk. “My fire works on my emotions… I didn’t mean to hurt you. It also may not seem genuine but I do regret what I did a lot. Your mates have made it very clear what it did and I’m sorry” I said and she nodded.

“I’m sorry, the thing with Sooha didn’t work out” she said and it shocked me. Why did she sound so genuine? She was supposed to be my mate… yet it seemed like she was content at leaving me at arms length.

“Me too… I'm sorry to have scared you and taken your time”

I woke up the next morning confused.

I didn’t like to be around Heeseung as of late because of my thoughts being about our mate. I hated how Sooha wasn’t our soulmate. I’ve loved her since… I've met her. Love at first sight.

Who knew it was one-sided? She was even my first kiss…

I walked out of my room to see Jay making breakfast for everyone.

Sunoo and Niki were at the counter while I assumed Heeseung, Jungwon, and Sunghoon were gone already. Today was the announcement… They're gonna announce a masquerade ball for Bright Sun and extend the invitation out to the other academies.

I left the dorm… I knew they probably didn’t want to speak to me. I went outside to get fresh air.

It's when I saw… y/n and K?

He was carrying a basket filled with flowers and I noticed the smell of blood. I wasn’t the best with control… the smell of it was sweet and almost addicting.

“Jake?” I heard him ask and I snapped out of it. She still hid from me. “Isn’t this scandalous? She has five mates you know?” I asked and he glared at me. “I was only helping her while her mates were busy. Besides I know the forest better than you all” he said as they started to walk away.

“y/n!” I decided to yell out to her. It made her flinch but looked back at me to at least hear me out. “Did you change your mind?” I asked and she shook her head. “I don’t understand why you want that,” she said and I smiled. “Jay was right you know… I’ve never felt an ounce of pain in my life. I just wanted to know how it felt” I said and she nodded.

“I won’t be the reason, you get hurt. However, I have a potion that you might be interested in” she said and I was curious. Potions? I didn’t hate witches, it was just a personal grudge that my soulmate wasn’t Sooha.

“Ok, if you think it’d help,” I said and she nodded. “I’ll tell Jungwon to give it to you,” she said and I shook my head. “No! They… can’t know of this please?” I asked and she looked confused.

“Heeseung will figure out–” “He won’t… I know how to trick him” I said and she nodded. “Uhm… I guess you can–” “I can bring it to him” K offered and I hated how he butted into this.

Who did he think he was? Sunoo and Niki were not the jealous type… but Sunghoon and Jungwon even Jay might be annoyed at how close he is with her.

“Oh! Then K will give it to you!”

“Jake!” I heard as I saw K approach me. He had a box wrapped in a cloth. “I don’t know what it is, frankly she didn’t want to tell me. But if you approach her again, I will tell Heeseung” he said and I scoffed.

I grabbed the box and I glared at him. “Who do you think you are huh? She’s accepted five soulmates already… she’s not yours–" "She’s not yours either,” he said and I felt myself get angrier but I didn’t want to ruin the box in my hands.

“The little crush you have on her, it's pathetic. When Sooha announced she was your soulmate, I even respected it. You? You’re running around trying to get her attention… how low of you” I said as I turned away to walk.

“At least I could treat her better than you,” he said and I sighed. I laughed it off and walked away. I was doing this to better understand people. So I couldn't ruin this box.

I went to the dorm where I noticed no one was here. I unwrapped the box to see a potion and books.

This potion is meant to make you human for twenty-four hours. Please be careful. Humans are a lot more fragile than you’d think. You’ll still be able to use your power but it will hurt if you do, you’ll also be able to bleed. I know you didn’t want them knowing so avoid anything that might cut you. I also included a book on human needs. If you need help, I'm open to helping, just be a little kinder and patient about it.

I didn’t know I was smiling until I looked up at my mirror. Why was I smiling? Her help? Her letter?

I shook it off and took the potion in my hands. I opened it and drank it. It tasted awful but I didn’t feel any different. I still felt thirsty… did it not work?

Vampires were supposed to take at least two blood bags a day to not feel murderous. I took one and tried to drink it when I felt sick. I immediately spit it out.

Did it actually make me human?

I looked in the mirror and noticed I didn't look any different. It looked like I was a healthy vampire drinking blood bags and not skipping any meals.

Meals… how was I gonna eat from the cafeteria?! I wasn’t allowed in the human cafeteria since my ID card was a vampire…

How was I supposed to play human?

taglist -> @sunus-sun @loumin908 @on-1ce @shinkenprincess-oh @b-a-nshee-blog @bnnyniky @sakuxxi @chiiiiiiiiis @cncreams @pre1ttyies @justanunstablefrog @graythecoffeebean @starzniiky @singlepringle4you @chirokookie @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @imtoanonymousforyou @lovgfrd @ilovecheese09 @sousydive @pink-but-rosie @kyleebob @jihyosgf @in-somnias-world @jilxxasu @bee-the-loser @mitchikeli @cyberpunksunwoo @lhspeachie @loafsunshinesworld @vixensss @zhenya109 @luumiinaa @rosas-in-the-garden @b3tt7boop @moony-mari @vixialuvs @ilovecheese09 @capri-cuntz

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

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wildlife4life · 4 months

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Seven (+) Sentence Sunday

Tagged by the very lovely @rainbow-nerdss, @fortheloveofbuddie @wikiangela @evanbegins and @daffi-990. Thank you! Can't wait for all your upcoming works!

In honor of the NFL regular season coming to an end today and the beginning of the playoffs, I'm sharing a part of a fan favorite. That's right ya'll, its an NFL Buck snippet! WOOOOO! (And I know this wayyyyy more than seven sentences, but are ya'll going to complain about extra NFL Buck?)

Eddie wasn't lying when he told Chimney he loved football. He just didn't say how much. When Chim invited the newest member of the 118 and his son to a kid friendly sports bar to watch the Rams play the Colts in Indy, he was expecting to be turned down. Hen encouraged it, "He needs friends that enjoy what he does. And I really can't listen to another rant about football stats or how Dustin Watson isn't taking the Texans to the tournament." "Deshaun Watson." Bobby corrected from the kitchen, "And its the playoffs." Hen rolls her eyes, "Whatever. You both have Sunday free and Buckley is playing, Christopher's favorite player." "How do you know the Ram's quarterback is playing, but not the name of the man who got Buckley kicked out of Texas?" Chim teased. "Denny." His friend answers simply, "You know he likes all things LA Rams." "Then why aren't you inviting Eddie and Christopher to your place to watch the game with Denny?" "Because Howard," Hen remarks a little sharply, "I'm not off Sunday and Karen has yet to meet Eddie, so it would be uncomfortable for everyone to have him in our home without me. Why are you arguing about this? You were just complaining about how Eddie and I are all buddy-buddy the other day." "You two have a lot more in common and somehow I always seem to stick my foot in my mouth whenever I talk to the guy. I freaking outed the dude!" Chimney reminds them. Bobby steps away from the stove and joins the two paramedics at the marble island, "Eddie wasn't making it easy for any of us to get to know him. Hen was just braver than most to actually approach him. Now its your turn and football is a good jumping point." Chimney opens his mouth to try objecting again, "And it will help in making up for the whole outing incident and interrogating his kid."

Cap had him there "And you'll pay." Hen demands and when Chimney arches a brow of slight disagreement she just shrugs and states, "It'll help dispel some of the notion of being his boyfriend's sugar baby and his birthday is the same week, making this an easy gift." And Hen made the kill shot. So Chimney awkwardly approached Eddie in the locker room at the end of their shift and invited him and Christopher to watch the game. He was happily surprised when Eddie said yes and brought an equally ecstatic Christopher with him without hesitation. Chim was additionally surprised with Eddie's total enrapture of the game, even more so with his undivided attention to the Ram's new quarterback, Evan Buckley. Every play the man made, Eddie was on his feet making some sort of comment. Good plays came with shouts of, "Good boy Buckley!" and "Great throw man!". Poor plays, interceptions, or missed opportunities, were met with, "Shake it off Buckley!" and "You got this Evan!" And any missed or bad calls from the refs... well Chimney knew foul language when he heard it, no matter what language. "We have a swear jar at home. It gets donated to Evan's charity at the end of the season." Christopher explains when he catches Chimney's questioning side glance after his father's latest f-bomb. Ah well, at least there's some sort of consequence to cursing in front of a child. "I have to pay up too if I say anything like my dad does, but I've never come close to his number." Chris adds on with a giggle and Chimney joins him with a low chuckle of his own. A niggle of curiosity has him asking, "And what about Buck?" The younger Diaz gives all his attention to what remains of his fries and shrugs with one shoulder, "Um... well I've never watched a game with Buck, but he does always double the jars total when we donate it." Chimney really wants to push on the whole matter of Eddie's partner of 10 years never once watching a game with the kid, but he knows interrigating Chris (again) about Buck (who is off limits unless otherwise brought up) would probably put an end to Eddie and Chim's burgeoning friendship. So he goes for a joke, "He must live with soap in his mouth if your dad is to go by." Earning a full belly laugh from the teen and Chimney counts it as a major win when Eddie glances back with bright grin.

I feel like Eddie and Chim have the whole, I'm friends with you because of a Buckley and because we work together thing. So take away the Buckley and its a bit of an awkward friendship, which I wanted to highlight and improve. Hope you all enjoyed!!!! More NFL Buck can be found here.

Tagging (no pressure): @disasterbuckdiaz @elvensorceress @devirnis @lover-of-mine @exhuastedpigeon @jesuisici33 @jamespearce9-1-1 @giddyupbuck @malewifediaz @hippolotamus @thewolvesof1998 @jeeyuns @911onabc @911-on-abc @bekkachaos @loserdiaz @hoodie-buck @try-set-me-on-fire @spotsandsocks @theotherbuckley @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @watchyourbuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @thekristen999 @spagheddiediaz @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @eowon @honestlydarkprincess @eddiescowboy @vampbuckley @bitchfacediaz @buck-coded @housewifebuck @arthursdent @glorious-spoon @buddierights @athenagranted @prosperdemeter2 @gayedmundodiaz

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life-is-more-than-just-a-game · 3 months

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♠️ What a day off of games with the aib males can look like. ♠️

A/N: Sorry, I've been absent for two days now, but for good reason. I wasn't feeling too well mentally and needed some time to myself because something happened that put me in quite a hole ... 🥲

Still, I've been thinking about what I could post here next, so I've prepared a few headcanons that define what I think a day off of games with the male characters might look like. 🙈

I hope that some of you are still around and will read through it. Feel free to let me know what you think about it or if you think any of them might have other interests! ✨

Characters: Aguni, Arisu, Chishiya, Karube & Niragi.

POV: gn!reader

Warnings: Not given.

A g u n i

It depends on what time we are in.

If the beach still exists, Aguni is often prevented from doing anything with you outside if he already occupies the number one spot.

You would have to live with the fact that you would hardly have any time just for the two of you, because someone from his troupe would always want something from him.

If he realises that this is bothering you - or he is annoyed by it himself - he will turn his boys away and say that they should leave him alone for the next 2 hours as far as possible because he has better things to do.

In general, no matter what time loop we are in, I would say that Aguni would adjust to your needs.

I have the following typical scenario in mind:

Aguni: "So there are no games waiting for us today. Any ideas what you want to do in our day off?" Y/N: "Uhm ..." Aguni: "Come on, you must have been in the mood for something." Y/N: "Yeah, but I really don't know for what I am in the mood for ..."

Nobody said it would be easy with you, but let's be honest: it's the Borderland, what excited yet relaxing things could you do here so far?

If you really don't know what you want to do, he would give some suggestions.

Aguni: "We could go to the pool." Y/N: "Too cloudy for my taste ..." Aguni: "We can do some sports together." Y/N: "Now your expectations are set far too high!" Aguni: "What about fishing?" Y/N: "Can't we just get some fresh air and go for a walk together?" Aguni: "..." Y/N: "..." Aguni: "You knew very well what you wanted to do, didn't you?" Y/N: "Without my lawyer, I won't say anything."

A r i s u

If you want to do something, then Arisu is definitely the right person.

The boy is always up for a lot of nonsense and fun activities.

This is probably also because he doesn't want to constantly think about the terrible circumstances that are happening here.

He has got used to life here, but living in constant fear doesn't get someone anywhere and only has a negative effect on oneself.

So, if he is being trapped in a world that could take his life sooner or later, he at least wants to live every day as if it were his last.

You will not regret spending time with him.

He comes up with the wildest ideas, starting with taking a closer look into the various broken buildings.

Of course, he would still be cautious of entering any places just like that- not that both of you suddenly find yourself in a game, because that's what you're trying to avoid today.

Y/N: "A-Are you sure we should do this, Arisu?" Arisu: "Nope, but you only live once, so let's check this building out- maybe we'll find some interesting things in here." Y/N: "Would you define 'corpses' as interesting ...?" Arisu: "Wow, you really managed to ruin my fun."

You still wouldn't be able to stop him.

Investigating the building would include lots of laughter and piggybacks when your feet get tired from all the walking over ruins and debris.

Eventually you find out that this building was a former arcade.

You can definitely pass the time well there.

Arisu: "Would you like a game of billiards?" Y/N: "I'm going to rip you off so bad, love."

C h i s h i y a

Listen, this boy is a damn lazy piece of shit.

When there aren't any duties don't expect him to do something special.

He has no problem putting his feet up for a day and literally doing nothing.

Feel honored if he spends his time with you at all.

No matter where you both would be, he would find ways to just doze off and relax while you - after all - lie in his arms and enjoy his closeness.

It's nice that he can do that, but you can't.

Y/N: "We've been lying around here all day." Chishiya: "Well realised." Y/N: "I'm bored." Chishiya: "Then do something."

He would definitely be a great help to you.

Jokes on you, no, he wouldn't.

Y/N: "But I wanna do something with you today since we have enough time finally." Chishiya: "We do something, darling." Y/N: "Idiot, that's not what I meant!"

Making you pout is one of his favorite things to do.

How could he be bored if you let him get on your nerves so easily?

In contrast to you, he has something to laugh about and something to amuse himself with.

Nevertheless, he would at least agree to a compromise:

Chishiya: "How about this? We'll use the time now to laze around and in the evening we'll take a look at the neighbourhood together and see which places are damned by games this time." Y/N: "We don't take part in any games, our visas count enough days for us." Chishiya: "Who said anything about taking part in a game?" Y/N: "So, if I let you lounge around now, you will promise me to stay up late with me?"

Damn, you love the nightlife.

Chishiya: "That's a deal."

K a r u b e

To me the funniest but most chaotic one.

During the day, at least.

I can well imagine that Karube and you had already planned the day ahead the evening before.

But what would life be like if everything went as planned?

The morning is pleasant. You wake up together and after a intense cuddle-round, you start your routine as usual.

Unfortunately, Karube realizes that he can't find something.

Something very important when it comes to following his routine.

Karube: "Honey, d'you know where my cigarettes are?" Y/N: "I don't know where you put them yesterday after you got ready for bed."

In the end, it all comes down to searching your whole accommodation for his cigarettes.

I mean, when you do smoke yourself, they can be important for you too ...

If not, well, then you are a very nice and good person!

Y/N: "Did you found them?" Karube: "I would have told you when that would be the case." Y/N: "Sure you didn't throw the box away because you smoked you last one yesterday evening?" Karube: "I know my pack of cigarettes inside out, there were at least three more in there."

You can guess where this is going.

You spend the whole forenoon looking for his damn cigarettes.

You turn the whole accommodation upside down.

Both of you look under every stone.

In every room.

Two times- minimum.

Y/N: "Karube, fave it, you don't have any- ... Darling ...? Karube: "What is it?" Y/N: "What's that in your pants pocket ... at the back of your butt?" Karube: "Uh-... Oh!"

Now he remebers ...

Karube: "You found them! That's right, I put them straight in my jeans yesterday so I couldn't forge- hey!" Y/N: "Yeah, I threw your boxer shorts at you!"

N i r a g i

Oh, my dearest reader-chan, please stay close to him no matter where he goes.

When he has nothing to do, he will go through the city streets looking for people to annoy.

He would look for trouble and find it- even if there's no reason for trouble, he'll just make it happen himself and find his reasons.

I don't know how, but at least you managed to stop him from taking his gun.

That's something you should be very proud of.

However, that doesn't stop him from doing anything and we know that.

So please. Stay. With. Him. Thank you!

In any case, you walk around the area together and check it out a little.

You'll talk about pretty trivial things every now and then, but that's still more pleasant than just talking to each other all the time.

When you meet someone, Niragi is ready to provoke them directly for no reason.

Thank god you had a firm hold on his hand or his arm so you could quickly drag him in another direction to avoid the innocent people.

Y/N: "Oh, look!"

Yes, you also like to pretend to see something that you would find interesting.

… In partially empty shop windows.

Niragi: "What the fuck should I look for?" Y/N: "See the rocks there?" Niragi: "You kidding me, right?"

The nice thing is that he would still look to something you tell him to look at.

There could actually be something interesting there.

Well, most of the times at least.

It's nearly impossible but who know?

Y/N: "OH, SEE WHAT I HAVE FOUND TH-" Niragi: "What is it this time? Another boring and ugly stone you think it's fascinating?" Y/N: "No ..." Niragi: "Oh, what is it this time then?" Y/N: "The tree there."

He will touch his nose and look at you angrily- but not without laughing afterwards at your amiable stupidity.

Damn, he loves you so much for what you are, he can't even be bothered.

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shhh-secret-time · 3 months

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Another request from A03! I am so very sorry this one took so long I actually had to start this one over a few times because I actually lost a big chunk of it when I first started writing it! Nothing takes the wind out of my sails faster.

Warning: NSFW, Dom!Stan, Sub!Reader, Dirty Talk, Enemies to Lovers, Writer doesn't know shit about college or sports ball, Slight Voyeurism, Strong Language, Stan might be a little OOC

Pairing: Stan x Fem!Reader

Notes: Hey uh welcome to this week's episode of, "Writer don't know how to write conflict to save her life!" I'm very bad at coming up with a reason to fight people, it's not in my nature so I'm sorry if it seems forced!

You hated Stan Marsh

You hated him and most of the football players at your university. Them and their spotlight hogging, annoying, disgusting, sweaty, irritating habits! You and your girls bust your ass off at every practice, sports game, and pep rally South Park University places on your teams’ shoulders, and what do you get for it?

To hear things like, "Oooooh did you see how Cartman played center?" or "Clyde is so hot when he takes his helmet off and has that messy hair!" even, "Kyle plays football AND basketball with perfect grades? Why is he soooo perfect!"

But the one that got under your skin the most was Stanely fucking Marsh, the star quarterback. The man walks around the school with his little crowd of admirers everywhere he went, and for what? Just because he throws a stupid ball around and can run quick? Fuck him.

Your girls put in twice the work they do; you've been to every one of their games. You had to. Your group had to coordinate with the football players, the basketball players, the volleyball team, the hockey team, hell you even had to coordinate with the wrestling team. It was exhausting trying to keep up with it all.

And what did your cheer squad get? Perverted remarks and dismissive attitudes! The final straw was when the Cows mascot got more respect than your group did. You brought your complaints up to the school's councilor, to the headmaster, to anyone who would listen.

Word travels fast around the small town of South Park, people dating and breaking up. Who cheated on who, who's throwing the best parties, who threw up in who's car. Shit like that. Not much changes from high school to college, just a lot less sneaking around and more energy drinks and pain meds. So of course, when your complaints got to the one and only Stan Marsh, he confronted you about it.

"Hey! Hey wait up!" His voice rings out past the busy sounds of other students trying to get to their classes. "You're the captain of the cheer squad, right?" He all but corners you while you're walking with your friends, he doesn't have his little squad of goons following him around.

"Are you serious?" How could he not know who you are?! You've only been to every one of his stupid games! Only been sitting on the sidelines of every practice! "Yes! I am! What do you want?!"

Stan flinched back at the venom in your voice but that didn't stop him from shooting you a look. "Uh...did I do something wrong? I heard from one of the guys that you're not exactly...happy and I was just trying to figure out what we did."

"What you did. What did he do girls? Can anyone answer Mr. Marsh's question~?" The tone in your voice did not match the smile on your face. It sounded chipper but anyone listening could tell it was fake.

Your little group always had your back, most of them felt the same way you did. If anything, it just amplified that anger, knowing your girls were feeling underappreciated. It was your job as the captain to protect your girls, but every time you brought it up to them, they seemed to shy away from saying anything.

"Well, geez Stan, you gotta admit your team's been kinda hoggin' the spotlight. You know what I'm tryin' ta say don't ya?" It wasn't just your girls you had to protect; it was your sweet little angel Butters too. Although you guys called him by his first name when cheering with him, he was Leo to you. And right now, Leo was trying to bridge the gap between you and your rival.

"Veeery good Leo! That's right, Stan and his team don't seem to give a shit how hard we work to cheer his team on! The whole school would rather worship the ground their star quarterback walks on!"

"The school doesn't worship the ground I walk on! You can't pin this on me!" Stan shot back trying to defend himself, it was hard not to feel attacked even though you were the only one glaring at him.

A part of you knew that he was right, it really wasn't his fault that small towns in America went crazy for football.

"W-we're not pinnin' anything on ya! Just sayin' maybe, it wouldn't hurt to tell the guys to show us a little bit more respect! You know Eric's been pickin' on me ever since I joined the girls, sayin' some awfully mean things."

"Leo is right! You may not have a hand in the way people think but that's just the problem, you don't do anything to stop it! If you were really the captain of your little team you'd step up!" You took a step towards him, your face getting inches away from his face.

Ignoring the fact that you had to look up at him, you wouldn't let him leave without getting your point across. His eyes narrowed down at you, matching the energy you were giving out to him. Butters looked between the both of you with a nervous look, he could practically see the electricity bouncing between your eyes. The poor blond didn't mean to start a fight, he was just trying to help.

"If you had a problem with my team, you should have come to me then. Why did I have to find out from other people?" Stan's voice dipped to a low growl which almost made you give one in return.

"I shouldn't have had to go to anyone in the first place Marsh! Get your team under control or else!" You felt your face turn red; it was getting harder to argue with him when those ocean blue eyes were burning into yours.

That was new. Just going to lock that in your vault of things to not think about again.

Thankfully Butters finally stepped in, physically putting his body between the both of you. "C-come on now guys let’s all just calm down. We both said our peace and now we can work it out, right? Next time we practice we can be on the same page!"

"Sure Butters." Stan clicked his tongue as he looked at his friend, but that didn't stop him from getting one last jab in. "You better hope you don't slip up princess, because if you do. I'll be there and I'll be quick to remind you of your shortcomings." And with that he turned on his heel and started walking down the hallways.

"Princess?! Excuse me?!"

"Oh geez..."

Stan slammed his locker with a little more force than he should have, the rusty door screamed out and bounced back open. With an annoyed groan he pushed back on the metal with a little less force, but the damage was already done, the door was now on its last leg and would most likely not shut right. Just more fuel to the fire.

"Whoa dude what did that poor locker do to you? Don't you think it's been through enough." Kenny looked over from his locker with a little smirk.

One of the few times Kenny was without his parka, a towel wrapped around his waist and his bright blond hair clung to his skin. Stan could smell the smell of fresh soap and hints of pine in the air. He sighed in response to Kenny's teasing, clearly not in the mood for his friend's antics.

"Not now man, I don't have the energy." Stan grabbed his jacket and pulled it up onto his torso.

"Ah that's not good, wanna tell your old pal Kenny? I won't even charge ya, come on what's going on."

Stan pressed his lips together and he tried to focus on zipping up the worn-out brown coat he always wore, the zipper struggled to hold together. He cursed under his breath a few times before the thing finally zipped all the way up. For a moment Stan thought about not saying anything, but Kenny was never the type to judge or the type to let things go if he knew something was bothering his friends.

"You know the captain of the cheerleaders?"

"The really hot one?"

"Kenny!" Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, something he picked up from his mother when they were both aggravated, "That's not the point."

"Says you. She's a baddy for real. Take no shit kinda woman~! The feisty ones are the ones that bite the hardest. You got your work cut out for you if you're trying to shoot your shot. I heard she turned down everyone else on the team!"

"Dude! I'm not gonna ask her out!"

"You're not? Then why'd you bring her up? Is this about the fight you guys had in the hall?"

Stan stopped and looked up at him in shock. "You heard about that already?"

"Oh yeah, you guys's are the talk of the school. Everyone thinks you guys had a little lovers spat. I had to hear the whole story from Leo!" Kenny chuckled as he grabbed started getting changed, pulling the patchy orange pants up his legs.

"Even you're calling him Leo now..." Stan muttered but quickly shook his head, "but that's not what I was going to say! I was going to...talk about that but if you already know."

"Yeah, I don't really know what that's all about but Leo kinda spelled it out for me. She's not mad at you per say just mad at the position you're in. A jealousy thing maybe but honestly, I think she's just tired of taking the back seat so to speak."

"What am I supposed to do about that? It's not my fault!" Stan threw his hands up the irritation on face made Kenny laugh again.

"I didn't say it was dude. I'm just telling you what I think, but man, she really got under your skin." Kenny smirks over at him with a playful purr.

"No, she didn't! I don't even care."

"Yep, that totally looks like the face that doesn't care~" Kenny pulled his zipper up and adjusted the collar as he spoke. "Look, let’s pretend for a second you do care. If I were you, I'd just talk to her. Ask her what you can do to make things right, because I'll be honest man, she's the last person you wanna make an enemy of. She'll make your life hell." Kenny finished making his point by wrapping his arm around Stan's neck and pulling him in for a side hug. "Besides, it's not like you have to work close with her, just work around her."

"Yeah..."

But of course, it could never be that simple, could it? Every time Stan tried to catch you to talk to you something got in his way. Monday you were busy with your classes zipping around the hall, Stan could barely get a word in. Tuesday you had to help Butters with his outfit so of course you didn't have time for him. Wednesday was the big pep rally for Friday's game, so that meant Thursday was for practice.

Thursday was hell. Stan was supposed to be focused on getting his team ready for the game. They were practicing dodging other players and passing the ball across the field. Stan was supposed to be working on his throw, he needed the ball to go further than normal. Kyle was getting faster at running and if Stan fell behind their whole strategy would be thrown out the window.

But of course, you couldn't make it easy. It was getting harder and harder to focus on what he needed to do when you were being tossed in the air. The way your dark green and gold skirt caught the sunlight, and the way the puffy looking poms in your hands shook back and forth. Stan knew he was in trouble when he stopped paying attention for a moment when you laughed at something Annie said. Next thing he knew he felt the football knock him on the side of the head. And of course, that's when you looked over, he felt his face heat up when you giggled and covered your mouth.

He hated you. Hated your pretty smile, the way you laughed made his blood boil and his body turn hot. Your stupid lips curled into a gorgeous smile and the way your thighs looked good enough to sink his teeth into, what he'd give to walk over and kiss that smug look off your-

Stan let out a growl that came from deep in his chest as he threw the ball down the field hitting Kyle in the chest. The poor red head just took it, letting out a grunt as it managed to get past the gear meant to keep him safe. He wouldn't let his mind wonder there, not for you. Not when you're the one who attacked him and then started avoiding him every chance you got.

"Marsh!" He winced when he heard Coach Miles below his name, he didn't need to see his face to know he was in trouble.

With a sigh he took his helmet off and ran his fingers through his messy black hair, the helmet causing his hair to stick up. As he walked over, he could feel your eyes on him, and all he could do was scowl. Trying not to think about how you must be eating this up.

Stan's scowl dropped when he heard the coach call your last name and gesture for you to come over. Your eyes widened at the way the coach called for you, you'd never heard him so angry at you before. You gave your poms to Wendy as you ran over, walking behind him as he gestured for you and Stan to follow him.

Coach Miles took you both back inside through the gym, once the three of you were alone, he crossed his arms and glared down at you both. "So, the big game is tomorrow and some of the students have come to be with worries about the way you two were at each other’s throats." He paused for only a moment, crossing his arms over his chest. "Let me make something very clear, we are not in high school anymore. So whatever problem you two have with each other, fix it. You’re adults, act like them."

"I've tried! She doesn't want to work this out!" Stan's mouth moved before he thought about the consequences, but he was just so tired of this whole thing. Even if he agreed with his Coach, this whole situation had him at the end of his rope.

"What?! No, you didn't! You just bitched to Kenny-"

"I didn't bitch! I was asking for advice!" Stan stopped and glared over at you again, it seems like that's the only look he gave you nowadays. "I tried to talk to you in the halls and you blew me off!" How did you even know about he talked to Kenny anyway?!

Fucking Butters.

"I told you what my problem was with you Marsh!"

"No, you didn't! All you did was-"

"Enough!" The Coach's voice boomed over your little squabble and echoed off the gymnasium walls. "I was hoping you two would be mature enough that I didn't have to do this, but I guess I was wrong."

You and Stan watched as Coach Miles stuck his hand in his pocket and fished out a folded-up piece of paper. Unfolding it, he handed it to you and huffed. It was a warning slip, something he never gave out to you or Stan. "So, unless you both figure this out, you're both benched. Off the field and you can watch the rest of the students play without you."

"What?!" Your voices came out in unison, shocked at the very thought of not getting to be a part of tomorrows big game.

"I mean it! Figure yourselves out or you're out! I can have McCormick take your spot Marsh and Testaburger has plenty of experience leading!"

"But Coach-"

"No! I shouldn't have had to do this in the first place! I'm not your dad, I'm not your counselor, I'm a Coach! You both are lucky I'm even giving you a second chance! You have until tomorrow." Every word that came out of Coach Miles's mouth pierced like a sword.

You flinched and pulled back just as Stan did each time, he emphasized his frustration. It was a verbal lashing unlike one you've ever gotten, and you were grateful when he turned and left. You weren't sure if you could take much more.

An uncomfortable silence fell over you and Stan as you both just stood there. The slight buzzing sound of the fans overhead and Stan's deep breaths were all you could hear. Each time he inhaled through his nose he would exhale through his mouth, but it didn't look like it was actually doing anything to calm him.

You've heard when Stan got yelled at by Coach Miles, and not once did he look this angry. Your eyes trailed down his jawline watching as he started grinding his teeth together, the look on his face said it all. He was holding something back, he looked like a lit fuse ready to blow. You didn't know if that anger was at you, the Coach, the situation, or all the above. But a part of you really wanted to find out, and Miles did tell you to work it out.

"So... you wanted to talk. I'm here."

Stan's head snapped over towards you, the look on his face was a mix of anger and bewilderment. Shocked that you would break the silence like that. He felt his stomach churn, a feeling he hasn't felt since he was a kid.

It always felt like he was on a roller-coaster going too fast, that fluttering feeling one would feel when the ride would hit that high and then dropped to that low. Only this time it felt like the pit of his stomach was also on fire, his stomach was a cauldron ready to boil over. As he opened his mouth to speak nothing came out, he just let his mouth hang open for a second and then he shut it again. He was holding back still.

You rolled your eyes and jut your hip out, arms crossing under your chest. "Just say it. I know you want to yell, so yell. I'm a big girl I can take whatever you could possibly throw at me."

When Stan didn't respond but instead walked towards you, your arms dropped, and you took a step back. So caught up in the dark blues of his eye you barely registered when your back hit the wall, it wasn't until you realized he had you backed into a corner that you grasped the situation you were in. He slammed his arm over your head making your heart leap in your chest, and your hands come up in defensively.

You weren't scared that he was going to hurt you, you never got that from Stan, he never seemed like that type. But the way he looked down at you made your heart speed up and a shiver run down your spine. Never had you felt like a rabbit trapped in a pen with a wolf. Something about that excited you.

"What are you doing-"

"Shut.up." Stan's voice dips an octave as he whispers out the command.

The gravel in his voice is cut by the way he slams his lips down onto yours. You have just enough time to push back into the kiss when he pulls away and continues. "You...have made my life.... fucking hell...this entire week!" His complaints almost falls on deaf ears from the way he's kissing you in between them. "I don't know why I get so.... worked up with you!" He emphasizes the last part by grabbing your jaw and forcing your face up towards him.

It's only been a week and you've already got him wrapped around your finger, so tightly wound up that he was beginning to snap. And maybe you were wrapped around his, the smirk on your face was short lived when he bit your bottom lip. A small gasp escaping your lips giving him enough of an opening to slip his tongue in your mouth. You moan against his lips and grip the front of his jersey by the collar. If he wanted to get handsy you could get handsy. You pulled him down into the kiss somehow deepening it further.

Your tongues push back and forth against each other, neither giving way to the other. His tongue was relentless but so was yours. It wasn't until you felt a bit of drool dripping down the side of your mouth did it click. You were making out with, what you thought, was the biggest asshole on campus. Yet you couldn't pull away, couldn't pull away from his hold on you.

On the other side of things, Stan's mind was going blank. With every twist of your tongue and lips he felt himself getting addicted. Hungry lips moving from yours to devour the soft flesh of your neck. He bites down with enough force to pull a cry from you and to leave a mark. Right where your shoulder meets your neck, teeth marks bright and red poked out of your cheerleading uniform.

"You fucking ass! That's going to leave a mark!" You hiss at him, but it just turns to another moan as he sucks on the patch of skin near your collarbone.

"Good!" He growls back coming off your skin with a pop. "I have tried all week to work with you! All fucking week to work with your bitchy attitude!"

"My attitude?! Fuck you! I was trying-"

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" He cuts you off with a smirk, one that would give the devil a run for his money.

"What?!" You white knuckle his jersey with both hands now.

"You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid." His hands reach down to the back of your thighs, cupping them as he lifts you up and slams you back into the wall. Not enough to hurt but enough to remind you of the predicament you're in.

"Says the man who had his tongue down my throat!" Predicament be damned. He would not win this fight just because he slots himself between your legs and pushes his arousal against your thigh.

Those football pants left nothing for the imagination, the thought of leaving him with that hard on in those pants crossed your mind for a moment. But when he rolled his hips against your clothed sex you had to focus on biting back the moan instead.

"It shut you up, didn't it? You didn't seem to want me to stop when you were moaning against me."

You glared down at him and ran your fingers through his hair, giving the roots a firm tug; you smirked when he moaned. His face turned red making him lunge forward and bite your neck again. Your nails dug into his scalp which only seemed to encourage him to leave marks.

"Just shut the fuck up and...and fuck me already!" You tried to keep the moan out of your voice, but when he found that soft spot on your neck it just turned into a whimper.

That smug bastard lips turned up into a smirk, he pulls back just long enough to take a look around the gym. All he could hear was you panting heavily trying to catch your breath and the same dull fan buzzing. He looked down at you for a moment and for a second you thought he'd pull away. That he'd come to his senses and realize that maybe this wasn't exactly what the Coach meant.

But he didn't. Instead, he pulls your face back up for another kiss, this one was a lot less angry. There was still that heat behind each press of his lips, but it was more controlled, not like when he was trying to get you to stop talking. He presses his forehead against yours for a moment, the sweat from practice earlier dripping down his neck, it would almost be sweet if the situation leading up to it didn't happen.

"We have to be quick."

"Here?! Are you out of your mind, what if we get caught!?"

"Would you just let me-" You feel him move you to his forearm, where he pins you between the wall and his body. "You've got me so worked up! I don't know why I find your endless complaining and bitching so hot!" The confession spilled out of his mouth once again without a second thought as his hands move up your skirt.

His hands grope and squeeze at your thighs and then your ass pulling another sweet moan from your lips. "Don't act like you're free from it! You like to think you're sooooo much better than me but you're just like me!"

"I know!" He grunts as he pushes your underwear to the side making you shiver when the cold air hits your cunt.

Stan watches as your eyes flutter shut when he slams his fingers into your wet hole, his fingers coated with your sweet juices. He licks his lips when your mouth hangs open and a shaky gasp is pulled from you. "Look at you already so fucking wet for me. I thought you hated me huh?"

"Sh... shit. I-I do hate you!" Your weak attempt to bite back fall short when he curls his finger in you, slamming his fingers in and out of you.

His lips ghost over yours as he buries himself to the knuckle in your pretty cunt. He watches as you suck his fingers in further and further. The sounds you're making makes his cock throb in his pants, straining against the white material. "Yeah? Doesn't feel like you hate me. You were ordering me to fuck you earlier."

"I-I... oh fuck! Harder!"

Stan smirks down at you and there's no comment this time. How can he when you look so damn sweet, nails digging into his shoulders clinging to him for dear life. He stops his fingers and glares down at you. "Say please."

"B-bite me."

He does. He leans down and bites down on the tip of your ear, his husky voice laced with danger. "I'm not moving my fingers from your cunt until I get a please."

"G-God damn it Stan j-just.... ugh please! Please go harder!"

For a moment he looks up like he's thinking about it, pondering whether he should or not. You could have smacked that smug look off his face but when his fingers drill deeper into you all you can do is throw your head back. As if it wasn't enough, he finds that perfect spot, making you clench around his digits.

"Fuck you look so good when you're like this. You gonna cum around my fingers princess? Go ahead, let me feel you clench around them." He talks you through your orgasm with a steady tone, making you lull your head to the side as you reach your climax.

His fingers stay buried in you for a bit before he pulls them out, you almost whimper at the loss of them. But it was cut short when he wrapped his lips around his fingers. Sucking the slick off his digit while keeping eye contact with you. The telltale sign of a blush crept up your neck and across your face when he removed his index finger from his mouth.

"You're so gross..."

"Whatever." He clicked his tongue at your comment, even after he pulled an orgasm out of you; you still had something to say. His hands move across your ass again giving the flesh a firm squeeze. You slapped his shoulder when he chuckled at your little squeak. "Hmm~ I liked you begging. Let’s see if I can't get more of that out of you."

He moves his hands down to his pants and slips them down to his thighs. He fumbles for a moment with his boxers before he just decides to give up and pull his cock through the flap. He did say this needed to be quick and he already wasted time fingering you against the gym wall. Not that he regretted it, he had half a mind to do it again, but if the precum leaking out of the slit of his cock was anything to go by he need release soon.

Stan glides his cock against your folds a few times, coating his cock in your arousal, his breath hitches when you roll your hips back. When his eyes meet yours again his knees almost buckle under the weight of your lustful gaze. The way your eyelids lower and your mouth falls open again with each drag of his cock. He takes the base of his member and slaps it against your cunt a few times. "Come on princess, tell me you want this. Tell me you don't really hate me."

"I...." You trail off, letting your stubborn attitude take over but Stan isn't making it easy. Each passing second you don't answer him he nudges the tip of his cock in your entrance, not quite pushing in to give you that pleasure. "I hate that I like it that you call me that! I hate the way my heart speeds up when you kiss me! I hate that I like you!" Your words roll off your tongue like a confession, the way you throw your head back the frustration growing in your tone.

Stan growls again, that sound being pulled out of him more times today than his entire life, but he can't resist you. It's like he's a puppet and you're holding all the strings. His hands come up to your hips and guide you down the length of his cock just as your legs wrap around his waist. The muscles in your legs keep him in place making his cock throb again, you feel it bob against your walls.

"You have...no fucking idea...how much I've wanted this! Every time you got thrown in the air-" He lets out a shaky moan as he pulls you off his cock and slides you right back down. "Every... every time you giggled and flashed that perfect smile." Stan nuzzled into the crook of your neck while his hips begin to find the perfect rhythm. "Everything about you is perfect and I fucking hate it!"

Stan's little burst of irritation comes out from the way he begins picking up speed. You cling onto him as he continues piercing up into you, your arms wrapping around his neck to try as your back slides up and down against the wall. "Oh god Stan!"

"Listen to yourself. Calling my name like that, you drive me crazy! I'm not going to be able to stop. You gonna let me cum in you? I don't wanna stain that pretty uniform of yours." The way he's moaning out your name in between breaths makes your stomach do flips.

You can't find the strength to answer so you settle for nodding and moaning his name. He doesn't say anything else besides the occasional cursing and small grunts, so focused on bullying your insides. You feel the coil in your stomach tighten and tighten until the knot starts to snap. Your walls grip his cock as he brings you closer and closer to the edge, your voice has gone hoarse from moaning and screaming his name. He feels his cock twitch when he sees you climax around him, it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. The way your mouth hangs open, lips slightly swollen from how hard you kissed him. The way your hair was out of place and the way your uniform was messed up from how hard he was thrusting into you.

"Fuck...I'm...I'm cumming." He groaned as he emptied himself inside you. Thick hot arousal shooting up and painting your insides, it made you whimper and squirm.

There was another moment of silence that fell over you two, it wasn't the heavy awkward one the Coach had left you in. It was almost comfortable by the way Stan was pressing soft kisses into your neck, his lips moving up to your jawline and to the corner of your mouth. You ran your fingers through his hair again trying to smooth it out instead of tugging.

"So....this certainly was one way to work out our problems..."

Stan hummed in response as he slowly pulled you off him, you couldn't help but gasp at the feeling of loss again. As he pulls his pants and boxers up, he takes out the small towel he has tucked away in the pockets of his pants, and gently begins to clean your thighs. The action makes you smile a little, how one minute he could go from destroying you against a wall to treating you like some doll. When he sets you down his hands linger on your hips a little longer like he's trying to make sure you're alright enough to stand.

"Yeah...hey, I'm sorry. I'm not...good at confrontation and I shouldn't have got defense with you." His apology almost makes your heart break but at the same time it feels so warm.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken my jealousy out on you. You didn't deserve that, it's not your fault." You fiddle with the material of his jersey, rolling it between your fingertips.

"Jealous? Why would you be jealous?" Stan asks completely dumbfounded by the idea.

"Because everyone always talks about you and your team! It's always how great you are, and everyone seems to like you!"

"Really? Because I always hear about how amazing you guys are. Every game the guys always feel better knowing that even if we lose you guys were cheering for us. I can't tell you how happy Butter's has been since you let him join the squad." He chuckles and goes to move a lock of your hair behind your ear.

"Awh...that's so sweet." You look up at him with a little giggle and a smile, which he returns. "Now I feel all bad."

"Nah don't feel bad...I'm just glad we got this straightened out. I know it's a little backwards but...do you think I could take you out after the game tomorrow? Win or lose I just...kinda wanna spend more time with you." He gives you a sheepish smile and a small blush creeps across his face.

"Only if you don't mind me bitching." You joke back with a little hum, pushing yourself up against him.

"It'll go great with mine." He smirks back down at you and places a kiss on your lips.

Word travels fast around campus. When you both walked out of the gym smiling at each other neither teams could believe it. Even more so when next week you were walking around with Stan's jacket over your shoulders and your pinky wrapped around his. The star quarterback's last name written in big blocky letters on your back and your lipstick staining his cheek. Definitely not a normal way to start a relationship, but that was you and Stan's little secret.

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humdinky · 5 months

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i love pixar's turning red. it is such a good representation of girls at that age. they don't shy away from depicting the awkward and weird parts. it is so rare to see a movie depict girls and their silly interests without condemning or judging them. they just let the girls be girly, noisy, and silly.

fuck the hate this movie got on its release. i could go on for hours about society's uniquely shitty attitude towards teenage girls and their interests. there are countless examples. remember the feverish hate for twilight, a series aimed exclusively at young women? what about the hunger games? teenage girls were the first ones to fall in love with elvis and the beatles, and critics treated them like a joke. that is, until adult men started liking them. funny how that works. justin bieber fans, one direction fans, vsco girls, girly girls, tomboys, emo girls, indie girls, bookworms. you will see every single type of girl being made fun of for every conceivable interest a human being can have.

at a certain age you feel forced to make an arbitrary choice. lean into your feminine side and continue to get mocked for 'being shallow', 'only caring about your looks', 'being annoying' etc. or lean into your masculine side and get called a pick-me or told that you just want to get with their guy friends. you like things that are popular? you’re basic. you like things that aren’t as popular? you’re trying too hard. it is the entire reason why so many girls internalize this misogyny, why they start saying things like "im not like other girls."

i certainly wasn't immune to that trap. i didn’t fit the mold and got ostracized for it. the only validation i received for the longest time was from boys, when i turned my anger back on girls and girlhood. i was sold that narrative so many times that i wore it like some sort of badge of honor. it took years to unlearn. i feel sad when i look back on my younger self. i was so sad, so angry, and so scared all the time.

we get insulted for being happy. we get insulted for being sad. we get insulted for being mad that we were insulted for being sad. we get insulted for trying to forget what happened and act happy again. we get insulted for feeling hopeless. they beat the confidence out of you very early.

and it angers me how the emotions of teenagers as a whole are so often neglected. when you're around that age and grappling with big emotions, you've quite literally never felt anything that strongly before. a failed test, a best friend's betrayal, being cut from a sports team. it all feels like a rejection of your entire person, your entire being. you haven't lived that many years yet, and it's the first time you've felt this horrible. you don't have anything to compare it to, and it feels like nobody else could have ever survived feeling this bad before.

it's not petty teenage drama. it's not immaturity. it is a normal human reaction to the worst pain you've experienced, and it is happening at a time when your body is going haywire and your feelings feel impossible to control. you don't know how to cope with it, you can't possibly know, because it's the first time you've had this bottomless well of pain tearing you up inside. you can't look back at previous times you've felt this way to reassure yourself that it will be okay eventually. the first time is the worst and hardest and you have no resources to get through it yet.

a lot of adults scoff at and dismiss the feelings of teenagers. "you're young, you'll get over it"' they've decided that because you haven't dealt with this feeling before that you must be overreacting. sometimes you are, and sometimes you're reacting exactly how any adult would. it's an absolutely shitty thing to express to anyone. a teenage girl's pain is not any less real than a 50 year old's pain. so what if it will get better? it doesn't matter that it isn't going to be the worst thing that ever happens; it matters that right now it very much is the worst thing that's happened.

yes, teenagers overreact over a lot of things that aren't as important as they feel. as if adults, who don't even have the excuse of inexperience with deep emotions, don't? no one should ever dismiss someone else's pain regardless of their age or circumstances.

im turning 20 in a few months. find the small joys of life, and don’t you dare let anyone take them away from you. if there is a teenage girl reading this, i love you, i am sorry, and it does get better.

#txt #rant post #turning red #women #afab #teenagers #misoginy #internalized misoginy

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deadpool15 · 5 months

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Ch.3 You and Me

It all happened so fast that I had never experienced sex. Well, good sex, they say uts better with someone you love. My first time happened right after graduation. To be honest, it wasn't even a good enough first time. If coming fast was a sport, that guy would've had an award. Then, again, he also didn't make me come at all. When I asked, he made it seem like it was me. "Oo, you're so beautiful it's too bad something is wrong with you, you know." Imagine someone being so bad at sex they have the audacity to blame you. Shi-oh was absolutely mortified by the story, claiming the guy deserved to die for being such a sad lover. I just thought after all these years I wasn't able to. I never tried to masturbate. To be honest, I found the whole thing kind of weird. I wasn't worthy of much, so why would pleasure be any different.

I'm sitting there on Shi-oh lap as we told each other stories of our happiest moments together. Then he leaned in, catching me off guard. My breath started to escape me, and everything seemed to speed up. "Are you nervous, baby? I haven't done anything yet." It was hard to concentrate when he was so close, and I was leaning in even more due to his hand being my only source of balance. "You know how this turned out before, don't you?" Of course we had tried before or more, so I had. He told me that he didn't want it to simply happen in a place of inconvenience. "Yes, I quite remember. In my office you tried to slut yourself out because of your sister correct." Hearing him bring up such a jealous moment for me, made me hit him in the face. I get up trying to get away from him. "You know how I feel about her." He laughs blindly, staring at me while pulling me back under him and slowly taking off the only piece of clothing I had on. "You are right. You could never compare to Nam-soon. Because you're so much better, in completely different universes, baby. And only one of you has my heart. Can you guess who?"

I stared at him, yet before I could answer, my words got caught in my throat, finally staring at his chest. I hadn't realized he had unbuttoned my, well, his shirt. I wasn't wearing a bra, so my breasts were being guarded by nothing but the shirt, so he could easily move out the way. "I seem to know, yet it's almost like you forget." He pushed the shirt out of the way, and I shivered when the cold air hit my nipples. Before I could complain about the cold, Shi-oh had taken one of my breasts directly into his warm mouth. My back arched, head hitting the pillow while he held my back up to bring him closer. "W-wait..baby..fuck." He let go of my breast and proceeded to blow a gust of his breath onto it. I moaned at the feeling. This wasn't like my first time at all. "My little baby was so in a rush to go feel good, and now she wants to wait. Just don't know what you want, do you?" The words died right on my tongue when I felt his bulge right rubbing against my pussy.

"Pretty girl is so confused, isn't she? It's ok, baby. I'll make it better." He had pushed the shirt further, and as I finally came back to my senses, I tried to remove it before he stopped me. "No, don't take it off. I wanna be all over you. Fucking you with a piece of my clothing on you will be the best option don't you think?" I couldn't even begin to respond to him when he grabbed my waist and moved his fingers down to push my panties to the side. His eyes landed right on my wet soppy cunt, he wouldn't remove his eyes. Almost as I'd he was in a trance. Feeling shy, I tried to close my legs. "You close those legs, and I will stop right here right now. Open uo baby, I wanna take a nice long look." Hearing those words, I blushed, slowly opening up my legs. "Yes all fucking mine." I moaned hearing his words, feeling his breath moving closer to my cunt. He kissed my thighs, ignoring the very place I needed him most. I knew exactly what that meant. He expected me to beg. My pride wouldn't let me, but my desperation seemed to be winning this war.

He knew I would crumble soon. Sucking and leaving marks all over my thighs. Watching my cunt grow wetter and wetter by the second. "Baby...please...I'll be so good for you. You know this." He moved his head upward, kissing my knee. "You will. My little baby is so desperate and wet, isn't she? Fine, I'll play nice." And just like that my suffering ended, when he pushed his head directly into my cunt. Licking, sucking and eating me like I was his last meal. He pushed two fingers into me, and God did it feel amazing. "Fuck..y-yes..soo...goood." He simply made eye contact with me casuing me to be flustered, but as I go to look away he grabbed my breast firmly and squeezed it in his large palm. Letting me know he wanted me to watch. He started to play with my nippple while pushing his fingers in and out faster. Sucking down on my clit hard. It slowly became too much for me. I started to thrash away from him. He noticed and pulled my thighs to wrap around his head, pushing me even closer to him. I became even more overwhelmed by the second. Before I knew it, I had squirted. I was so taken aback by everything that I immediately started to apologize.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't even know I could do that. I've never come before, so that was like completely different. I'll clean." He cut me off my slamming his lips onto mine. Completely stopping my thoughts. "You just squirted all over my face." He looked at me in shock. "I know, Shi-oh, I've seen, and I'm already embarrassed enough." I said shyly while he grabbed my closed thighs, pulling them apart again. "W-wait, what are you doing?" He looked at my cunt in amazement. Like, I'd just given him some price. "Your going to do that again, but this time on my cock. You can do that for me, right baby?" I was shocked by his words. Finally taking a moment to stare at his appearance, I noticed his face was still caring for my juices. He was practically covered in it. I try to wipe his face clear. "No, I wanna fuck you with it all over us. All dirty for you." I had never seen this side of him before. He was always so collected and to himself.

He looked like a man possessed. Yanking my panties down completely while placing his thumb on my clit. "Shit...baby..I'm still s-senstive." He smiled down at my figure before pushed down his pants, making the bulge that I had seen before more noticeable. "I know that's the best part." He started to take off his boxers, I couldn't imagine how hard he was right now. Finally, there was nothing stopping us. No clothing in between us. Looking down, I took in the sight of how large he truly was. Thinking about it now, I was scared. "B-baby, that's not going to f-fit." He pushed my thighs open further, taking as much room as he needed. "Don't worry. I'll make it fit." He started kissing my face, while my cum was still dripping on his face. Basically, it's soaking me in it as well. And then he pushed inside. "F-fuck." I was losing all my sense as he pushed further inside. "Almost....there." and finally, he bottomed out. Everything was different, it's felt as if my mind was gone to another place and my body was floating on clouds.

One thing was for sure, I had never felt so full in my life. Shi-oh stared at my pussy as it gripped his cock. Practically choking him. He hunched forward, and I opened my arms to hold him. I just wanted to feel all of him. Being full of him was a new feeling, though. "F-fuck..your so tight." He was praising me while kissing my jaw and neck. Then he started moving, I had never felt so good in my entire fucking life. I never wanted it to end. "Said it wouldn't fit, it's almost like your cunt was carved just for me baby. Just to take me." He leaned near my ear and whispered. My legs wrapped own his waist. Needing him closer than he already was, it just wasn't never enough. "Taking me so fucking well. Bet you're loving this, aren't you? That little boy couldn't give you this." I whined hearing his words, "n-no..one..but..y-you." Before I know it, he was slamming into me at the speed of light. Panting in my eye before flipping us over, leaving me on top. He felt deeper at this angle. I still held him close, wrapping my body around him. Never wanting to let go. He bounced me up and down. "S-so..b-big." My brain could only mutter out his size over and over again. He pushed our lips together again covering us in my cum.

Dipping his finger down to rub my clit and then moving it back up to place on his tongue. I leaned forward sucking onto his tongue. It was filthy, and dirty. But it loved every second of it. "My nasty little baby, who knew you would be such a whore?" I moves back from him placing my hands on his thighs to gain leverage, "wanna be your whore, only for you." He was shocked and while in that state of shock I reached up, on the tip was inside of me before I moaned and slammed myself down on he length. I'm doing it again and again, leaving him a whimpering mess. This is what I wanted, to leave him so vulnerable in front of me. "Gonna cum baby f-fuck." I pushed myself down further while moving to wrap my arms around his shoulders, yanking his hair to place kisses on his neck. I whispered in his ear, causing him to fall apart and rut inside of me. "Come inside, wanna feel you for days. Want it inside, Shi-oh." Hearing this, he finally came shooting his load directly into me, and I came right with him. As I make way to move, he stops me. "Gotta make sure it takes. Your nice and warm baby. Need to stay inside."

Shoutout all the beautiful souls who waited for me to get out of my rut. The writing block is over. Hit me up, yall.

Chapter 4 is coming soon.

#strong girl nam soon #stronggirlnamsoon x reader #ryu shi oh x reader #ryu shi oh #byeonwooseok x reader #byeon woo seok

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mono-dot-jpeg · 1 year

Text

protection - k. leona

summary; you don't need protection but leona likes to insist on it when the rest of his dorm are trying to be assholes.

genre/extra tags; fluff, comedy if you squint, jaguar! reader, cat behaviors but with humans, quiet-ish(?)! reader, reader has vitiligo, reader is mc but not really???, reader is referred to as mc and prefect, reader has no mentioned skin tone, reader is implied to be shorter but not by much (sorry, jaguars are just shorter than lions), slightly badly written hurt/comfort, ooc leona?????

[warnings; assholes being assholes, making fun of appearances (specifically vitiligo) but like this all only happens at the start and 1-2 times]

[gender neutral! reader]

word count; 907

a/n; yippee!!! thank you for the request! i hope you enjoy! i had a good time writing this! something abt jaguars just makes me so happy like when i watch owls. they're just silly little guys yk

also im bad at writing mean shit sometimes so uih,,,, dink donk sorry. also the spots that reader have are the rosette spots that jaguars have!! i only say the ones on the arms but it's implied that there's a pattern on them on their body :)))

you haven't really had much time in the savanaclaw dorm because despite how it contains people like you, they were not very nice. but it didn't really matter to you as you didn't need a pack to live happily. you have a pack, yeah, but it wasn't really a necessity for your kind of beastmen. you've learned very quickly that jaguar beastmen aren't really social people. so you've been accustomed to being alone in peaceful silence.

"you're brave for coming here looking like that. spots and all."

and you're more than used to a few verbal jabs about your looks.

you attempt to walk past the three beastmen but they're blocking your way. you huffed in annoyance.

"are you here to see dorm leader? because i'm sure he doesn't want to see you." one of them (the assumed leader) pokes at a particularly different part of your skin. it just happens to be one of the several spots you sport on your arm, the biggest rosette spot. you don't say anything as you push past them.

the collar of your shirt is tugged on, forcing you to stop. "we didn't say you could leave, short ass."

"no, you didn't, but i did." leona's voice rings out in the common room of the dorm. the air felt colder than ice despite the beaming sun outside. "you got a lot of nerve trying to make fun of my partner, you know?" he rolls his eyes at the trio as he pulls you to his side. "you okay, mc? they didn't hurt you right?"

you're faced away from the three as you look at leona, "i'm good." you mutter. you're not really shaken up, maybe feeling a little odd. somehow it felt different from the other times that you've been made fun of. was it because of leona coming to help?

"good. if there's any scratch of you, i don't think i would be so easy on you lot. tch." leona glared tiredly at the three beastmen. the trio pathetically blabbers their apologies as they leave. "why don't you fight back?"

you shrug as you both walk to leona's room, "i'm used to it. it's not the first time people picked on me." your ears flicker at the sound of beastmen in their respective dorm rooms. you can distinctly hear jack working out, it makes you huff in amusement. "i'm not social like you, leona, i don't express my anger as easily as you. also they just wanted to get a rise out of me to make me look bad in front of you."

"well, you should say when you're mad. or at least fight back?" he muttered. "you're... just as strong as i am."

"heh, takes a lot to call me strong, my lion." you snickered for a second but you stop, frowning slightly as you remember the odd feeling from earlier.

"shut up." he knocks a knuckle against your head. he opens to the door to his room, he gently grabs your hand and takes you into his room. closing the door and locking it, he faces you. "are you sure you're okay?" he asks. his eyes are stern but soft as he stares at you.

you take a moment to answer. in that moment, he rubs his head against your neck as if to comfort. "i don't know? felt weird when you stood up for me." he moves his head to look at you and wait for you to continue. your hands grip his clothes at the waist. "it didn't feel bad. they made fun of my... spots. i'm usually used to it but it felt different today. is that weird?" your ears flatten as you look up at him.

"nothing weird about feeling bad. being insulted sucks." he pauses, "was it at least a good thing that you felt when i came around?" his free hand reaches to brush his fingers through the layer of fur on your ears.

you lean into the touch, "i think so. but the insults kind of sunk in after that too..." you muttered as you rest your body against his. he's quick to lead you onto the bed, both of you laying down and finally getting comfy. "didn't like it. just wish they just made fun of my personality and not.. something i can't control." you try your best to explain. you pick at the stray hairs on his face, staring at your jaguar spots on your arms. "heard comments like it all the time and yet... something felt off." you sigh, "maybe it was because they mentioned you." his ears twitch at the comment.

"what did they say?"

"that you wouldn't wanna see me. poked at my spot after that." your finger rubs over the biggest rosette on your forearm.

"i'll make sure they get their heads straight." his hand grabs at your wrist and moves your arm as his lips kiss the spots. "until then, i won't ever say i don't want to see you. i love you a lot... and i hope you know that." his voice is stern but you can see the love pouring from his eyes as he stares at you.

you can feel your face go warm as he continues to stare at you, "s-stop looking at me like that, would you?!"

"but it's cute watching you be all embarrassed over me saying i love you." he snickers.

"back- back off, leona! not all of us are whipped for their partners!"

"don't lie to yourself, you love me too."

#twisted wonderland #twst leona kingscholar #disney twst #twst leona x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #leona kingsholar x reader #leona kingscholar #leona x reader

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anxious-witch · 5 months

Text

Inertia 7

Summary: Newton's first law expresses the principle of inertia: the natural behavior of a body is to move in a straight line at constant speed. In the absence of outside influences, a body's motion preserves the status quo.

Jan choose a direction of his life the moment he walked out of his parents house and cut all contact with them. He didn't want anything to do with them, or God anymore. Even his soulmark he wished he could leave behind. But when Nace Jordan joins the band, with a mark matching his own, can Jan keep going the same way he did? Or will the force make him change a direction?

Pairings: Jan Peteh/Nace Jordan

Warnings: None, I think? Please do tell me if I'm wrong I'll edit ot immediately

Notes: AO3 link

urprise! Early update of the last chapter. Thank you everyone who made it this far, especially people who consistently commented throughout. I have several things to say before you jump right in.

1) I am aware JO didn't actually preform at the EMA, but since this is already and au and I really liked the concept of the scene, it is here. Just roll with it 2) There will (hopefully) be two fics following this one, one with the focus on Bojan and the other on Kris. I am not sure exactly when I'll be writing and post them though, since December is quite busy, but until then, at least this is finished.

Anyway, this part is pretty much all fluff and very cheesy at the end, but I figured we all deserved it after all the angst

I believe that witness is a magnitude of vulnerability. That when I say love what I mean is not a feeling nor promise of a feeling. I believe in attention. My love for you is a monolith of try.

The woman I love pays an inordinate amount of attention to large and small objects. She is not described by anything. Because I could not mean anything else,

she knows exactly what I mean.

Once upon a time a line saw itself clear to its end. I have seen the shape of happiness. (y=mx+b) I am holding it. It is your hand.

What Space Faith Can Occupy By TC Tolbert

Jan wondered if light green walls of the therapist's office were suppose to somehow elevate the space. Made it seem more colorful.

Personally, it only reminded him more if a hospital.

Still, just as in all previous sessions, he had to remind himself he wasn't there just for himself. Kris had been genuinely worried after his breakdown. Jure and Bojan didn't know about it, but they likely suspected something had transpired.

He would need to tell Bojan about him and Nace eventually. But that, at least, was a problem for future Jan.

There was also Nace to think about. In the past three weeks, there had been slow, almost painful progress made between them. Still, he was trying. That counted for something, right?

He turned his attention back to the matter at hand.

His therapist was a young woman, Jan would guess somewhere in her thirties. She hat jet black hair and looked perfectly put together. She reminded him of Kris in that regard.

Which made sense, considering he only got a spot so quickly due to Kris' connections. Jan really, really didn't want to think about how he managed that.

"So, Jan," Nina said, "do you want us to continue on where we stopped last time, or do you have something from this week you'd like to discuss?"

Her voice was unkind, or even cold, but Jan still had to force himself to talk sometimes. His trust issues weighted heavily on him in moment like these.

"Well, no. Except that Nace and I actually went to play basketball, but I mentioned we will last week anyway."

Nina patiently waited for him to continue. When he didn't, she spoke again.

"How was it?"

Jan sighed. It was awful. Jan felt genuinely bad for even going along with it, considering how much Nace hated any sport that you had to play with the ball. It ended when Nace didn't manage to catch the ball one time Jan threw it. It hit him in the face and made his nose bleed.

Jan supposed there was a metaphor there somewhere.

"It wasn't great. Nace is...really bad at basketball."

She quickly wrote something down and Jan tried his best not to feel judged.

"And how did you feel about it?"

"Shitty, I guess. I didn't make him play, but it kind of felt like I did."

Nina tapped her pen to the notes.

"From what I have here, it seems Nace usually initiates these activities and they seem to be activities you like. Am I correct?"

Jan shrugged.

"Yes."

"And what do you think about that?"

How many times could she ask him that? Wasn't she supposed to tell him what to think about that? Jan felt increasingly annoyed.

"Why do you keep asking that? If you want to say something, then say it."

She pursed her lips.

"I am not here to tell you how to feel, Jan. I am here to help you verbalize it."

That was the dumbest fucking answer he ever heard.

"I already said I feel bad about it. What more do you want me to say?"

"Have you thought about doing the same for him?"

Jan paused. He haven't. Or well-he had, but he wasn't really sure there was an activity Nace liked that they could do together.

"I don't know if we have anything in common. Other than music, I mean. I know he is trying, but maybe this wasn't a good idea, after all."

Nina nodded, his face neutral. Always so goddamn neutral.

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"What, and break his heart? He'd just try even harder. I don't-"

I don't know what to say to make him give up on me. Jan clenched his teeth.

"I think you should consider trying one of his activity. Surely, there is something he likes that you don't hate."

Jan took in a deep breath. He was fighting the urge to mess up his nails even more, but if he started bleeding during practice again, even Bojan will notice.

"I guess. But that doesn't solve the main issue, does it?"

Nina sighed.

"Alright. How about you think about it, and we talk about something else for the rest od the session?"

Jan agreed and they moved on, but the thought stayed with him. Was he simply not putting enough effort?

The question haunted him enough for him to drive to Nace's apartment few hours later. He only sent him a text asking if he was home, and once he got a confirmation, he sat in the car and drove here.

It was probably rude, but Jan figured that if Nace had an issue with him being rude, they wouldn't be here in the first place.

It wasn't until he rang the doorbell and heard the barking did he remember Nace had a dog. Ollie.

He knew that, of course. It was just that the two of them usually met outside of Nace's apartment and several times they came here, Ollie was being babysat by Nace's sister.

Well. Jan supposed it was bound to happen to or later. If Ollie hated him, did that mean he was immediately disqualified from soulmate status?

Nace opened the door, trying to keep Ollie from rushing into the hallway. Jan felt caught off guard, despite the fact that he was the one who rang the doorbell.

Nace was wearing a tank top. Had Jan ever seen him in one before?

"Please get in before he runs out, I don't feel like trying to catch him."

Jan quickly stepped into the apartment and Nace closed the door behind him. The Nace carefully let Ollie come closer.

Jan kneeled down, offering his hand for him to sniff at. He liked dogs well enough, but he was always at a bit of a loss on what to do with them.

Cats you had to build a bond with. Usually just being in their general vicinity was enough at the start. You let them come to you. Even if you offered them treats, you had to leave them at the same distance at first.

Dogs? Dogs were unpredictable. They could love you or hate you your smell. Or whatever it was that they could feel around you.

"Dogs can always tell if a person is good or bad", his brother used to say. Jan, who had dogs both love and hate him for no clear-cut reasons over the years, couldn't quite agree.

Dogs could feel something, certainly. But that something was only a first impression and they choose that intangible thing as a base to be loyal or not.

Cats, at least got to know you first before making any judgments.

Ollie sniffed his hand and cocked his head to the side, as if trying to gauge if he was alright or not.

"Hello," Jan said awkwardly.

Ollie came closer, nudging his snout against his hand and Jan carefully petted him on the head, waiting to see the reaction. When he started wagging his tail, Jan felt relieved.

Nace's dog hating him wasn't something he wished to deal with. There were plenty of other things that made him want to turn back and run away.

"He seems to like you," Nace said softly.

One bad call he share with his owner, Jan thought grimly as he stood up.

"That's good. I think we should talk."

Nace sighed.

"As much as I love how direct you are, that sounds very ominous."

Jan simply took his shoes off and shrugged off his jacket.

Ollie followed them as they went into the living room. Jan wondered if they were creating some sort of bad karma for the place, having all their fucked up conversations here.

Or perhaps he spent too much time around Bojan and his superstitiousness was starting to rub off of him.

"Do you want something to drink first or-"

"How about we just get this over with and then after you can offer me stuff if you want me to stay?"

Nace awkwardly sank into the couch, far enough that Jan would have to stretch to be able to touch him, despite his long arms. Was it for his own comfort, or for Jan's?

They were closer physically since they talked the last time. Sitting closer, hand brushing against each other, squeezing each other's shoulders on occasion. That sort of thing.

Now, though, there was no of that. As if Nace was already getting used to the distance. Which Jan supposed was fair, even if he felt a familiar burning at the soulmark.

Before Jan could say anything, though, Ollie jumped on the couch and attempted to nuzzled at his chest. Jan felt thrown off balance a bit as he petted him, which only prompted Ollie to settle in his lap.

"I don't think I am doing this whole thing right," Jan confessed, not taking his eyes off Ollie.

"Could you please be more specific?"

Jan scratched behind Ollies ear. Matej's dog liked that. Ollie made a content sound so Jan continued.

"You keep putting so much effort into liking things that I like and trying them out. And I-I mean I can do it too, but I don't know if it's even right. Like, shouldn't we already have matching interests? Is it even healthy if we both have to change?"

He took his hands off Ollie and clenched them in frustration. He hated how his tongue always felt like lead when he was supposed to talk about these things. He harshly pulled at his hair and tied it back with the tie around his wrist.

"This works like any other relationship would, Jan."

Jan scoffed.

"Does it? I don't remember any of my friends tailoring their interests to fit me."

Nace took in a deep breath. Jan learned he always did that when he was frustrated, like he was stopping himself from saying anything before he was ready.

"Really? Kris never tried listening to metal for you? He knows you favorite brand of tea on accident? You always keep ear plugs in your car if he gets overstimulated because, what? You did that before you were friends?"

Jan felt speechless.

"That's-

"Different? Yeah, of course it is, because this is Kris we are talking about."

Nace sounded resigned. Hurt, even. Jan slowly looked at him, but now it was Nace avoiding his gaze. He was staring at his hands, his expression troubled.

"I don't mean to say discard your and Kris' friendship. I think it's amazing you have him, but I'm jealous. Not because I think there is anything going on, but because you seem to allow others to get close to you while keep me at arms length. And I don't know what to do at this point to change your mind."

Jan's heart squeezed painfully. He never heard Nace so resigned. He was always the one to try and find a solution and not give up.

He gently set Ollie on the couch, despite his small, protesting whine. Then he stood up sat closer to Nace. Close enough that their shoulders touched. This time, he was the one to take Nace's hands in his.

"I'm sorry. You are right."

Nace's head slowly rose, like he barely dared to be hopeful and look at Jan straight on.

"I was, well I am scared. We said we'll be friends, but I don't think I can be your friend. From the moment we met, I kept you at arm length and for one single moment I didn't, we ended up hooking up. You terrify me, Nace."

Nace's breath stuttered. Jan leaned his forehead against Nace's and closed his eyes.

"I had all but convinced myself everything about soulmates was bullshit, that all that was stories and people kept confirming them because they were desperate for it to be true. But that was all it was, a placebo effect. And then you came along. Shattered everything I thought I knew."

For a moment, there was silence. Then Nace's hand touched his neck, just a bit below the soulmark. Jan took in a deep, shuddering breath.

"May I?"

"Yes."

The first time Nace touched the soulmark, Jan was too terrified to even appreciate the sensation. But he did now. The feeling was warm and safe. Jan expected his heart to race, but instead it calmed down, as if soothed by Nace's touch.

Something about a gesture made something deep inside him uncoil and words just started pouring out of him.

"When I was fifteen, I started secretly listening to metal. The first time I did, I felt so guilty, I ended up crying and not allowing myself to eat for a day, as a penance. For weeks, I had been worse off than if I had never listened to it. It took me months to gather the courage to try again."

Jan hoped Nace would understand he was saying. He wasn't sure he could say it outright. Nace hummed.

"You are afraid, but you also know that doesn't mean this is bad because you are afraid."

Jan nodded, but Nace didn't say anything immediately after. When he finally spoke, he didn't say what Jan expected him to.

"When I was twelve, I was bullied a lot because of my weight. I remember being terrified of going to school. The only place I felt safe in was the church, because nobody bullied me there. I felt safe. Even if the conditions and rules weren't perfect, it was still better."

Jan opened his eyes, almost indignantly.

"I am not a church."

Nace cracked a small smile.

"No. But you are a safe space, even if the conditions and rules you impose aren't perfect."

Jan's answer was to kiss him. Not roughly, like he did before, but softly and slowly. Giving Nace time to pull away.

He didn't, instead he kissed him back and pulled him closer. One of Jan's hands curled around Nace's nape and the other reached for his wrist. He knew exact moment he touched his soulmark, because Nace shivered.

The only way Jan could describe the feeling was that the bond between them sang. Like the world slightly tilted and found a perfect balance.

Like they were perfect together.

Jan had to pull back from the kiss, fighting a near overwhelming fear that washed over him. Nace didn't let him go far this time, instead pulling him in a hug.

"It's okay."

Nace's voice was soft, and he was warm and comfortable and it was almost unbearable.

"I know it's fucking okay," Jan said, his voice breaking.

He buried his head in Nace's chest and hope he didn't feel the tears soaking his shirt. Nace didn't say anything after that, he simply held him as he cried.

Until the tears dried out and the fear slightly pulled back. Still, some doubts remained.

"What if the rules and conditions can't be improved anymore? What if this is just...who I am?"

He pulled back a bit, to study Nace's face as he answered. Unexpectedly, Nace grinned.

"Well, if a church gets a new priest-"

Jan rolled his eyes at the awful joke.

"You've been hanging with Bojan too much."

Nace was still grinning.

"A priest can also recommend new way of worship-"

Jan groaned loudly and pushed Nace back, so he landed on his back, laughing openly. He had a beautiful, infectious laugh that Jan couldn't help but laugh along as well.

"Please don't use church metaphors anymore. They are awful."

Nace stretched his arms over his head, exposing his muscles and tattoos even more. Jan couldn't help, but let his gaze linger on them.

"Make me."

Jan was never the one to avoid temptation. And Nace had always been so tempting. Almost like a red apple in a garden without color. Jan leaned down and kissed him again.

Nace melted into the kiss and reached out to him again. His hands reached Jan's hair and Jan tense slightly, but Nace gently pulled at the tie, until his hair spilled from the ponytail.

Jan was distracted enough by the kiss to let him. He wanted Nace closer and-

They were interrupted by a loud, insistent whine. Jan pulled back enough to look in the direction it came from, finding Ollie looking at them with the saddest expression he could possibly muster.

Nace burst out laughing, his whole body shaking.

"I think he doesn't like me hogging his new favorite."

Jan chuckled, sitting back up. He held his hand out and petted Ollie gently, immediately receiving a lick on his hand.

"Maybe I could have some sort of tea, if the offer still stands," Jan said, not looking away from Ollie.

"It absolutely does. I have mint tea Kris mentioned you liked."

Traitor, Jan thought, giving away my secrets.

"Nace?"

"Yeah?"

"Which one is your favorite?"

Jan turned his head to look, catching a surprise that flitted across his face before it melted in a soft smile.

"Probably chamomile."

Of course. The calming thing one always drank when they felt unwell to soothe and comfort. It fit him.

"I'll remember that."

With that Nace went into the kitchen, and Ollie brough Jan a ball he could throw for him. Jan took in a deep breath, feeling as if he just climbed a mountain. Whatever happened after this, he had a feeling he could handle after.

As terrifying as it could get.

Jan was nervously tapping his fingers against the wheel, resisting the urge to bite his nails. It was not a smart thing to do while driving.

"Are you really not going to tell me where we are going?"

He chuckled a bit at Nace's pleading tone. This really was an unusual role reversal for both of them, wasn't it?

"I told you, it's a surprise."

Nace huffed and settled back in his seat. Jan sneaked a glance at him when he stopped at the red light. Nace had his arms crossed over his chest, his warm brown jacket tightly wrapped around his biceps.

"One would think I am taking you to get shot," Jan teased, turning his gaze back to the road as the light changed to green.

Nace laughed at that, at least, his shoulders relaxing.

"No, I just-I am not used to surprises. You barely gave me any hints on what to wear!"

Jan smirked.

"I said wear something comfortable that you don't mind getting dirty."

He could feel Nace's unimpressed stare on him.

"Very helpful."

Jan chuckled and took a left turn, parking to the side. Nace immediately started glancing around, trying to gauge where they were. Jan couldn't help but think it was kind of cute.

He unbuckled his belt and got out of the car, waiting for Nace to do the same. When he did, he led him to a nearby building.

Nace was frowning, trying to piece together what they were doing. Jan decided to take pity on him.

"It's a pottery class."

His head immediately snapped towards Jan, his eyes widening.

"You are taking me to a pottery class??"

Jan swallowed, growing nervous all of a sudden. Did he misjudge? Did Jure mix something up?

"Jure mentioned you wanted to try it since your sister did pottery. I thought..."

"No! I mean, yes, I love the idea!"

He sounded so eager, so terrified that Jan would change his mind and snatch the offer away from him. Jan felt bad. Was he truly treating him in a way that made him think he'd play him like this for a joke?

"Alright then. Let's go."

There were people inside already, and their teacher quickly introduced himself. He gave them instructions on hand-building techniques with clay, saying they need to get used to that before they can move to the pottery wheel.

The process was messy and Jan underestimate just how bad he was at shaping the clay. When Nace looked over and saw his wonky cup, he doubled over laughing.

Jan side-eyed him, before taking a bit of clay and smearing it over Nace's shirt. Nace gasped.

Then he grabbed a piece of clay and smeared it over Jan's cheek. Jan slapped his hair away, trying to rub it off.

"If this gets into my hair Nace, I swear-"

Nace laughed again and someone shushed them.

"Can you two please let the rest of us work?" A blond man left of them said.

He was short, with blind hair just below his ears. He was frowning at them intently, reminding Jan of an annoyed cat.

His tall, tattooed friend-or partner, how could Jan know, really-gently pulled him by the sleeve.

"Lovro, com'on. They are just having fun. Look at this."

The man, well maybe even a boy, with how soft his features looked, immediately turned to the other man. He looked at him like...oh.

Jan looked at Nace, who was clearly eyeing the situation, seeing if Jan could handle it or if he needed to get involved.

Jan was hit by the sudden realization of how much he had come to care for him. Despite all the back and forth and his own grievances, he was-

He stopped his thoughts before any bigger words came to mind. It was still too early to think that. But maybe it wouldn't be, eventually.

Jan never thought of himself as someone who could settle down and yet that spark of hope still lived, nestled deep in his chest.

Maybe.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Nace asked, titling his head to the side.

Jan shook his head.

"Nothing. Let's try to shape these into something decent before we do that...wheel thing, yeah?"

Nace smiled, like a sudden light igniting in the dark.

"Yeah."

As Jan tried to save his clay cup, he suddenly felt bolder. He could ask, right? At worst, Nace will refuse, but when did Nace refuse him before? Jan cleared his throat.

"You could...come over after, if you'd like. You didn't meet Igor yet."

He didn't look up as he asked the question. It would be easier to take a no when he didn't have to worry about which expression he was making.

"You want me to come over?"

There was that tone again. Like Nace was shocked by this. Like Jan wasn't trying to do better for weeks now. He supposed he'd just have to keep trying.

"If you'd like to, yes. I did get some chamomile tea recently."

He sneaked a glance in Nace's direction. His eyes were soft and his mouth was lightly open, as if in wonder. Jan's heart started beating fasted.

"I would like that," Nace said quietly, looking directly at him.

Jan had to look away, but he couldn't help but smile slight. There was slight fear in his stomach still, but there was no ringing of the church bell, or an urge to reach for a necklace that wasn’t there.

He was still himself and he was still in control of it all. Simply taking steps in the right direction. It had been as if he was in inertia for very long time. After being stuck for so long, it was hard to get back into motion, but once he did, he knew it would get easier.

All he had to do was keep moving.

All Jan could hear was a drum of his own heart as they waited for the host to announce them. Thud. Thud. Thud.

It was finally time for them to preform at EMA. To try and get chosen to represent Slovenia at Eurovision. The importance, the fragility of the moment made all the colors more intense, almost as if they were in new, swirling patterns.

Jan took a look at his bandmates. Each of them in a different outfit that fit them perfectly. Bojan, in his loud combination of green shirt and pink pants, that he somehow managed to pull of regardless.

Kris, in a gold sleeves shirt and lighter pink pants that match. Of course-Kris always knew how much attention to draw to himself. Not too much and not too little.

Jure, with sky blue button up that perfectly fit his sunshine personality and darker purple pants for contrast.

All of them looked amazing, really. But it was Nace that Jan couldn't look away from.

Nace, who finally wore color. A purple suit with a silver shirt underneath. The suit had intricated details that made Jan want to run his fingers over the material and feel it's shapes.

When he arrived, he was always pale beige in their mix of chaos and color. Slowly but surely, that changed. And here they were now.

Jan shuffled closer to him, almost as if pulled by an invisible force. He could feel it, but he found it more comforting now, rather than scary.

"Ready?" He whispered, smiling at him.

"Ready," Nace answered, briefly brushing his hand against Jan's.

"And next up, we have Joker Out!"

They stepped on the stage as the people clapped and Jan could feel the adrenaline fully hitting him. He couldn't concentrate on whatever Bojan briefly said before he started singing.

All Jan could focus on was playing. His fingers slid over the strings just as perfectly as they did the very first time he nailed a song when he was sixteen.

Everything else faded away, like looking at the world through a sort of fog. Only music existed. Even Bojan's singing was slightly muted in that moment. Like Jan was alone with his guitar.

Then his gaze slid to Nace and he found him already looking in his direction. Nace, who still had the ability to be in Jan's bubble that one else could touch.

He didn't mind the company, though. Not anymore.

He sent him a little wink and watched as his cheeks turned slightly red. Then he turned back to the audience and took a deep breath. Then let the bubble snap and all the sound and sensations rush back to him.

Because there was never really a need for the bubble at all. Not when he was at the safe space.

There was no divinity here. None other than the music itself, that they shared with the audience.

When they played the last note, there was a thunderous applause and part of Jan already knew. He could feel it in their bones that they won.

The knowing of being at the right place, at the right time. With just the right people, too.

The rest od the night passed in a blur. Jan knew he talked to people, but later he'd be unable to recall what he said. He'd remember the high of the announcement that they won and all of his friends rushing into a group hug.

It wasn't until they all changed back to their everyday clothes and were waiting for Bojan in the cold, that the realization finally started to sink in.

"We won," he whispered into the night air.

"We did," Kris said, smiling.

Whatever makeup they put on him made him look more ethereal than usual. He looked more content than Jan had seen him for awhile.

"What is Bojan doing for so long?" Jure wondered, his eyes lingering on the doors they all cane through.

It was odd. As much as Bojan paid attention to his looks, he never took this long.

"I'll go check," Jan said, getting to his feet.

Jan felt slightly guilty, over how little he talked to Bojan outside of the practice in recent weeks. Being caught up in the whole soulmate dilemma, he didn't take the time to pay as much attention to his friends.

Well, that was another thing he could start fixing now.

He found Bojan in the changing room, completely dressed, but staring off through the window.

"Bojan? Is everything okay?"

Bojan flinched, as if woken up from a very deep sleep. He blinked at Jan, confused.

"Ah, yeah! Yeah, I was just a bit lost in thought. Did you guys wait for me for long?"

Jan stepped closer, putting his hand on Bojan's shoulder. Bojan leaned into the touch, breathing out slowly.

"Are you sure you are alright?"

"I-" Bojan bit his lip, his gaze jumping around the room almost frantically, never staying for long and completely avoiding Jan's face.

"I just...this is a lot. It feels enormous. And of course, of course I am happy we won. It just feels like we set a new course all of a sudden, if that makes sense. Like it feels like my life already changed."

Jan pulled him into a hug. Bojan took in a sharp breath and then relaxed, hugging him back. They just stayed like that for a moment.

"I know. It's terrifying but it's going to be okay. You have us, alright?"

Bojan's arms tightened around him for a bit.

"Yeah."

They were silent for a bit and Bojan already pulled away from the hug when Jan spoke again.

"I actually owe you an apology. With how I reacted when you brought up soulmates for all these years."

Bojan shrugged.

"It's fine. I figured it was a sensitive topic."

Jan shook his head.

"Yes but it's not an excuse. I am sorry, Bojan. You were allowed to be excited at prospect of meeting them without me putting you down for it."

He rubbed tips of his fingers against the nail of his thumb. Resisting the urge to mess it up more.

"I won't say I completely understand, even now with Nace. I still very much love being independent from him. But I am saying I understand more."

Bojan smiled, reminding Jan that if Nace was the light in darkness, Bojan was certain a sun, his rays bringing about a new day.

"Thank you for saying that. I am excited to meet her, one day. Whenever destiny decides we are ready."

Jan rolled his eyes, more for the dramatic effect than anything else. That was still extremely cheesy, but it was very on brand for Bojan.

"Sure, lover boy. Now, can we go before the rest of them freeze outside? It is December, y'know?"

Bojan laughed and grabbed his bag. He dramatically pointed to the door.

"To wherever destiny may lead us!"

Jan cracked a smile, unable to keep up the brooding persona.

"To whenever destiny may lead us," he repeated quietly.

Then he stepped over the threshold after Bojan and for the first time in many years he knew everything would be alright. As long as he had his family, soulmate included, by his side, everything would be alright.

No matter the challenges that awaited them.

#my writing #joker out #jance #inertia

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smimon · 3 months

Text

😮‍💨😮‍💨

Maybe the reason I always sucked at PE isn't that I'm just bad at having a body. Maybe that was just because I was always hungry.

Oh fuck, I need to get this out. You know why I was always hungry at school?

Every day my mom packed me one cheese sandwich for the whole day. And at some point in elementary school, the cheese sandwich became unexplainably disgusting to me and I couldn't eat it anymore.

When I told her, she reminded me that I like cheese and told me to stop being ridiculous. And it's true, I love cheese, but having exactly the same sandwich every day for years will finally make your body reject it, even if it's your favourite flavour.

(I might also have some medical issue with digesting fat and that cheese she used was very fat, I still have to get a diagnosis here)

So mother kept packing me the same sandwich every day, and I couldn't eat it most of the time. When I got hungry, I would try to eat it, but even looking at it made me lose all appetite. Sometimes I forced myself to eat it because I knew I need some fucking food, but just one bite made me feel sick.

I kept bringing the sandwiches back home, and every few days mother was taking them out of my bag, some already moldy, and just looked at me disapprovingly without saying a word. And then she packed me a new one.

She made it clear that I won't get anything else to eat because in her opinion a cheese sandwich is the perfect lunch, and I am not eating it specifically to make her look bad. She also assumed I was stuffing myself with snacks from the school store, even though I did not even receive pocket money.

A few times I asked if she could put something else in my sandwich for a change, and she snapped at me that what else could she possibly use for a sandwich? I suggested ham maybe (I wasn't that good at making sandwiches but I was just a kid ok) and she just rolled her eyes because ham is too expensive and cheese is cheap and I like cheese and this discussion is pointless and I'm only trying to make her angry 🙃 (same when I asked if I could get dinner at school canteen - she won't spend money on food if I can get dinner after school)

In middle school I learned how to press my stomach so it doesn't growl, I didn't want to hear it during tests, it was just so embarrassing.

(Then I went to boarding school at the age 15 and started getting five meals a day and the world suddenly started to seem like a nice place)

And this is probably the main reason I can't really trust her with any problems, as every time I tried to tell her about anything she just said this wouldn't be a problem to her if she was me, and I should just stop having this problem, and I am probably having it on purpose of just making things up to bother her because she is a good mother who has everything under control so if she says I have no real problems then I am not allowed to have problems.

Also the reason I still struggle to talk to anyone else about my problems up to this day, because there was no other adult in my life who I could talk to, and my friends were just kids so they couldn't really help me, they only felt sad, and I don't want them to be sad so I just kept quiet.

It's all connected you know. My inability to talk about my problems, leading to internalizing, then having them resurface in my writing. Trust issues, communication issues, eating disorders. Shame, alienation, worthlessness. But I'm already healing.

My mother basically said "fake it till you make it" and never asked for anyone's help with parenting, even though she should.

Oh and in high school I finally had fun at PE, because we had two hours weekly of a sport we chose individually, and I picked handball because I love handball. I still sucked at it (probably from never having been able to learn how to move properly) but I had fun anyway (I don't play to win, I play to move okay) and I guess it's not a coincidence it was at the same time when I started to get, you know, nutrition.

#vent post #diary post #food

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badgerinamicrowaveromohomo · 11 months

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This post will be be different from my entire page. It is an information point mainly discussing girls:

As a once perceived female, I have anger. Today I walked down the streets of my beloved town and I remembered the first time I went down it on my own. I was terrified and walking quickly because I heard horror stories and I felt sad about being separated from my family (I got a little bit lost). The FIRST pub I quickly walked past I was a scared object. I don't remember what they said, but it was something about being on my own and a pretty girl and just general catcalling. I was that sort of age where I didn't have any dislikes in food or in people. That must've been the first thing I disliked. I was so scared and it took me a long time to go out by myself.

This wasn't the first time I was sexualised, nor the last. It hurts me the disparage between men and woman, or more apt between men and girls.

May I iterate at this time that there is so much good in this world. Mostly reiterating to me so I don't throw something.

Dance took up a lot of my life when young. At the age of maybe 6 I learned to "sexy dance". Couldn't have been more than 4 when I started this sport and I remember so clearly being told to suck everything in. Ballet does rely on core strength, and I thought there was something wrong with me for having a bum or having a tiny tiny stomach that stuck out in revealing leotards. I was teased by the teacher for having breakfast.

It's one of my earliest memories.

I thought for years this was the fault of the leotar, that girls shouldnt wear such things. Turns out it's the people, the teachers, our unwanted observers.

Today, my boss walked behind me centimetres past me and I froze. His towel brushed my arse a little bit that could have easily been a genuine accident. What wasn't an accident was how close he was to me than his male co-workers. All shift he treated me like an idiot for asking questions about the workplace that I'm new to. I know for a fact that if it was a man asking the same questions that he would be inquisitive and wanting to learn, but I perceived his responses to mean that I am shrill and annoying.

We are taught from a very young age that men are dangerous and it proves to be right. We are taught to fear them all. Never during lessons was I surprised to hear the horrors of the world because it's ingrained from birth.

Half of our population is scared of the other.

Half of our population feel scared when a man is behind you.

Half of our population can't deal with this fear anymore.

We have been crying out for centuries to be taken seriously.

Since women being able to vote, there has been a shift of "women have all the rights already, why do we have to change because of one bad thing that happened?"

We need to change because grown women are afraid to be alone.

We need to change because children get cat called.

Legally, we are equal.

To you, we are equal because we can do the same jobs as you.

We see the ways you treat us differently but we are AFRAID to speak up.

We can't lose our jobs over this. Many do. I was replaced by a boy in my first workplace because he would be stronger than weak little girl. I lost my next job because I spoke out about feeling not safe.

I feel afraid when there's only men in the room. I feel that I can't say anything and I'm helpless. I feel that I'm the idiot, no matter what. One man can make a room full of girls/ women feel threatened.

A 16 year old today was told off because her legs were on display and it wasn't professional. I've seen men bartenders wear shorts all of the time.

There are different standards for you and for i, all because you presume me female.

We don't want to anger you in case you strike out and hurt us.

Because we've all been hurt by people like you.

I implore for the women/ former women to find a single woman who hasn't been scared of a man just waking down the street, just being looked at for too long.

Reply if you have never been scared of men.

Reblog if you have never not been scared of men.

A poem to end this speech.

Men.

I don't care who you are

I'm scared of you.

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skyfallscotland · 2 months

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Hiii me again! I, too, have questions for the ask game 🍓🦋🥤

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

I feel like it's redundant to keep saying the same ones, but *whispers* storm in the quiet @justallihere and Political Gain @sarahwyland

But also, in terms of underrated, I just read a little series by Ramzes called The Unseen One, furthering the Sloane/Bodhi agenda (🙏🏼 the lord’s work) and I've also enjoyed The Princess Gambit by JuliLyng so far as well, which is Xaden/OC. Not sure if they have tumblr, but if they're here, hi! 👋🏼

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

So I've always been a reader/writer, since as far back as I can remember (maybe three years old?), I'm pretty sure with the knowledge I have now that I'm hyperlexic.

I'm old enough to have been around for dial-up internet, but when I was a preteen, we got broadband (showing my age). This is to say, don't judge my parents too harshly because internet safety was not a thing back then, but...

I found fanfiction because back then, a lot of people either used livejournal or hosted their own sites, so a lot of fansites, had fanfiction. So while looking at Buffy fansites, I stumbled across Buffy fanfiction and realised I could actually read stories!!! so many stories!! where Buffy and Spike got together earlier or things didn't end tragically for them. So yeah, at 11 I was reading very explicit Spuffy smut on the internet 🫢 I had a system set up where I would play The Sims all day or do school project powerpoints, except I was really reading fanfic and I would flick between screens whenever my parents entered the room.

My mum now has KU and reads dark romance every day, so I guess she comes by it honestly (and yes, I did mean it that way around, I was here first!) 😂

Anyway, when I was 12 I started publishing my first few fanfics on ffnet - Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and a Harry Potter/X-Men Crossover. Each originally written on paper, they were all ridiculously bad, but the latter had people interested enough despite the writing, which encouraged me to try again later down the line with The Vampire Diaries and Jurassic World. I hadn't written for almost ten years and had never finished anything much until last year, by chance, I decided to finally get back into reading actual books and picked up ACOTAR. I finished the series within a week and I was left like?? That's it????

The archive had such a small number of works, I couldn't believe it, so I decided to write my own. I wrote Fury and Siren over the course of three months. I wasn't game to post anything in case I didn't finish it, because I'd never finished anything before. I also put off starting this little book I'd bought 'Fourth Wing' by three months, because I knew I'd be sucked in and would lose the hyperfixation I had, so I forced myself to finish Siren first. And now you all know my life story lol omg I'm so embarrassing to myself 🫠

TLDR: internet

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

Honestly, this is kind of angsty, but this last week I’ve thought a lot about male-dominated fandom spaces and how we’re not welcome in them. We, meaning everyone who isn’t a straight, cis, white male. The Formula 1 community on here seems a little better, probably because it’s female-led, but everywhere else I can’t even look at the comments.

To be honest, I’m tired of being told I don’t belong, or that my opinion means nothing because I’m female. I grew up in a motorsport family, my earliest memories are at racetracks, but men on the internet would have you believe I’m only interested because of what the drivers look like. It’s just…tiring. Those fandom spaces have become a no-go zone for me now, because it just isn’t worth it. We live in a time where no matter what you say someone will attack you which is sad in itself, but it’s so much worse when you’re a woman commenting on a “man’s sport”, not to mention endlessly frustrating because they’re too stupid to tell the difference between equity and equality.

🦋 On a larger note, Palestine. I don’t think more than that needs saying. It hurts my heart.

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anonymityisfunwriter · 2 years

Text

Two Sides of The Same Coin - Epilogue Pt. 1: "Long Story Short"

"Long story short, it was a bad time. Long story short, I survived..."

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes

2 Years Later...

"Wow..." you awe, leaning over the railing at the very edge of the canyon. "I guess it's called the Grand Canyon for a reason."

Bucky chuckles, rolling his eyes affectionately, but joins you on the very precipice. It was an incredibly warm day, but he loved the unbothered, peaceful look on your face as you looked over the canyon.

You turn your head away from over the railing and look at Bucky. "Makes me want to scream into the void, you know?"

"So do it," he shrugs nonchalantly.

"No!" you exclaim, jolting back from the railing with an incredulous expression. "We'll look like crazy people."

"I think you forget that people already look at us like that."

"No, they don't," you scoff, slapping his shoulder.

"Metal arm?" he says, lifting up his arm that glints in the intense Arizona sun. "Lady who singlehandedly took down a government facility."

You suck in a breath as your jaw drops at Bucky's brazen comment. Even though a lot of time had passed since that whole incident, no one ever really talked about it. And for a moment Bucky thinks he took it too far. But then you start laughing, "Oh my God, we are the crazy people."

"Your boyfriend is a super soldier staring machine and you think knocking a building down makes you crazy? Sticking with tin man makes you crazy," Sam mumbles, standing on the other side of you.

"Ignore him," you chuckle. "He's just cranky."

"If I'm cranky it's because I just drove halfway across the country watching the two of you make eyes at each other. It's adorable- and absolutely disgusting. And you made me sit in the back."

"You could've stayed in the car," Bucky points out, side-eying Sam.

He couldn't really be mad, even annoyed at Sam. Sam was doing the two of you a favor by tagging along and was generally being a good sport about driving across the country with the two of you.

Even though he wouldn't admit it, by being here Sam was making both yours and his life a whole lot easier.

In the weeks leading up to your trip, Bucky tried talking you out of following the rules and leaving Sam back at the Compound. But in spite of them loosening their vice-like grip on you, you tried to avoid pissing off SHIELD whenever possible. It was already lucky that you three all got to take time off for your second vacation in a year, you didn't want to push it.

"You dragged me along on this road trip- the second one I've been forced to endure because of you two. And you're just going to leave me in the car?"

"Of course not," you assure him.

"Yes," Bucky replies simultaneously.

"I hate you guys."

"But you love us," you counter with a wide grin.

"Yeah," Sam begrudgingly sighs. "Most of the time."

You spend a few hours there basking in the dry Arizona heat. The three of you hiked one of the trails around one side of the canyon, and enjoyed the unbothered pace and generally relaxed nature of the day. And as you watched the sun set once again at the edge of the canyon, you screamed into the void. And you were right, it was a lot of fun.

"You sure you don't want anything?" you ask, stopping at a little store to get some treats and drinks after the long hike.

"I'm good," Bucky says, pecking your lips.

"Can you not do that when I'm right here?" Sam whines from the backseat.

Purely out of spite, Bucky does it again, leaning over the console to peck your lips, only this time purposefully dragging out the kiss. You playfully push him away, turning to Sam. "Sam? You sure?"

"I'm fine. Thanks for remembering that I'm still here."

You roll your eyes and step out of the car. The two men watch as you walk into the store. And as soon as you enter, Sam punches Bucky's arm. "Why didn't you do it?"

Bucky remorsefully sighs, fully knowing that this question was coming. "It wasn't the right time."

"And when exactly is the right time? You've been carrying that ring around for months already. You're just lucky I can keep a secret. If Steve finds out, this whole thing is a moot point."

He shakes his head, "I don't know! It just- it has to be perfect."

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you were having second thoughts. Or stalling," Sam quietly accuses.

"Second thoughts about her? Never. Stalling? Eh... It just needs to be right."

"She's not going to say no," Sam states, answering Bucky's silent worries.

"She could."

"She loves you. And if you ever tell anyone I said this I'll deny it, but you're perfect together. Compliments of Sam Wilson matchmaking."

Bucky turns away from the steering wheel, his eyebrows pulled together in clear objection of Sam's revisionist history. That's not at all the way Bucky remembers that happening at all. "I believe for the first six months we knew each other you threatened me and warned me not to flirt with her."

"Reverse psychology- people always want what they can't have," Sam convincingly lies, knowing that he meant every single one of those threats.

"Whatever you have to tell yourself," Bucky snorts.

Sam shakes his head, throwing it back as he slumps back into his seat. "I can't believe we drove across the country for you to chicken out. Again."

Bucky shrugs, "It's on her bucket list. It's one of the only things we haven't done."

"I'd ask what else is on the list, but I don't think I want to know."

"Don't be sick," Bucky chides, thought a wry smirk pulls at one side of his mouth. "But yeah, you probably don't want to know."

Sam gags dramatically. "I'm going to take away my blessing if you don't stop talking. And if you don't stop chickening out."

He lets out a long breath and nods, silently agreeing with Sam's vague threats. "It just has to be perfect."

"Hey," you hear Bucky call from the doorway.

"There you are. I haven't seen you all day, I missed you!" you exclaim, sitting up on the blanket you'd laid out in front of your garden. You three had only been back a week before Bucky was needed on assignment. He'd been gone almost the entire day. "How was your mission?"

"Good," he shrugs, doing his best to feign nonchalance. "Just a little tired. Come nap with me?"

"Sure," you smile, folding up your blanket and walking toward the door. As you start to walk alongside Bucky, you immediately notice the nervous expression on Bucky's face. "Are we going to talk about what's wrong or would you like me to pretend I don't notice yet?"

"Pretend you don't notice," he chuckles, wiping his palm on his pant leg.

"Okay," you nod, intertwining your fingers with him. "Well, look at this, Peter sent me a bunch of memes. People on Twitter are pretty funny, you know?"

"It's funny until Sam starts posting things that he shouldn't," he grumbles, remembering the day Sam 'accidentally' posted a picture of you and Bucky.

It was a sweet picture, you and Bucky were sitting on the couch and you laid on top of him in a koala bear hold. You remembered that day well. You were just coming back from a particularly difficult and long mission, so it was nice to come back and be reunited with Bucky. Unfortunately, Sam snapped a picture of that reunion and posted it online, confirming your relationship to the public. It was almost a year ago and they still bickered about whether or not it really was an accident.

"You're still mad that he accidentally outed us?" you chuckle.

"Was it an accident if he did it completely on purpose?"

"Well look at this one," you say, walking next to Bucky down the hall to your room. You point at the screen. "This one's you. The caption is Bucky Barnes when he's happy and Bucky Barnes when he's angry. But it's the same picture!"

"Hilarious," he grunts, knowing exactly how much the public loved to tease him about his grumpy disposition. Multiple times he'd seen people refer to you two as a real life 'grumpy sunshine' couple. Which, admittedly, was true.

He tried for the most part to be a good sport about the whole thing. It was to your benefit anyway, the public loved you. They liked your sunny demeanor and willingness to share little snippets of your life as an Avenger.

And it was another way for you to get more leverage on SHIELD. With the occasional remark about how you technically weren't an Avenger but a SHIELD asset, and a couple words about what exactly that meant, people started taking your side. And Bucky knew better than most that the court of public opinion mattered. And right now, you were winning.

"I will say, I'm not sure I like it when people take pictures of us walking down the street. It's not my fault I'm expressive, they always get me at the worst times."

"And by expressive do you mean how you make weird faces?"

"I do not!" you scoff, playfully pushing his shoulder.

“Do you remember the day we met?” Bucky asks, dramatically pivoting the conversation as he opens the door to your shared bedroom. As you walk in, he's careful to block your view into the actual room.

“Feeling sentimental?” you quip, placing the blanket on the small couch.

He huffs in amusement, still blocking your view as you take your shoes off and place them at the door. “I want to show you something.”

“Okay.”

“It’s just in that book right there,” he says, nudging his head to the bookshelf to the side of you. You spot the book slightly sticking out of line from the rest of them. You grab the book and open it to the page being held. When you open the book, you see a blue flower perfectly pressed between the pages.

“Is this-” you quietly gasp, gently stroking the pressed flower.

“That flower you gave me that very first day? Yeah,” he replies.

You turn around, still staring at the flower in the book. “I can’t believe you kept - James?” you ask, seeing him down on one knee, holding out a ring. Though your eyes don't leave his, in your peripheral you can see your room covered in rose petals and sunflowers, dim lights strung around the entire room. “What are-What are you doing?”

“Please tell me you’ve seen a proposal or something because I’m kind of worried I’m looking like an idiot,” he anxiously chuckles, though he knows that you've watched enough romances that you know exactly what he's doing.

“I have,” you whisper, frozen in shock.

“Okay, good,” he exhales in relief. “I'm not really good with words, so I thought I'd show you how much you've always meant to me. I kept that flower because I had this gut feeling. I trust every single gut feeling I have, Doll. Every single one. My instincts keep me alive, and I had this feeling like I couldn’t just throw that away. Like every freaking fiber of my being was telling me that this was important. That you were going to be important. I just didn’t know that you were going to be the most important person in my life. And every day, I wake up so thankful that you are. That you decided to stick with me, that you saw the real me even when I was being a grumpy asshole.”

Through the tears, you chortle, “You made it so easy to love you.”

“No, I didn’t. I really did not make it easy, but you stayed anyway. And I always want you to stay. You make my life brighter, after being cold for so long, you bring so much warmth and I never, ever want that to go away. I want you with me forever. Marry me. Stay with me forever.”

“Yes.”

“Yes?” he chuckles.

“Yes.”

“Really?”

Bucky doesn't get the chance to say anything else before, he hears on the opposite side of the door. You're pretty sure the familiar voice is Steve. "Did she say yes?"

"Of course she said yes," another voice whispers, this one you're certain belongs to Sam, "But did she?"

“Sam,” you interject, taking a deep breath to try and remain calm. “You can’t be James’ best man.”

What followed the proposal was something you never anticipated. Things were quiet in the Compound for a few days, but the peace didn't last very long. You and Bucky made it abundantly clear that you didn't want a big event- nothing of the sort, just a simple ceremony with the people that were closest to you. You'd moved slowly your entire relationship, but this was something that you and him were both eager to do. Something quick and simple- those were your only wants. Or at least what you thought you wanted.

Your small ceremony was then commandeered by your fellow teammates.

In their defense, it only took a slight nudge in that direction and a little bit of convincing on their part.

And they didn't hold back on their meddling and persuasion methods, like them telling you how after everything you two had jointly and individually gone through you both deserved an actual celebration. Or that it could be so much fun, and how they could collectively take the brunt of the planning.

You were won over by Wanda's wistfully descriptions of a beautiful ceremony and her endless talkings about what kind of wedding dresses she thought you would love.

Bucky was won over by Steve's incessant ramblings about this being the start of your lives together that it should be a moment that you'd look back on over your lifetime together.

You remembered that conversation with him very well:

"Ugh...finally," Bucky sighs in relief, hearing the door click open and shut. Though he's laying on his stomach and his face is flat against his pillow, he sticks out his arm to reach for you.

You chuckle, lazily padding toward your bed. You, like Bucky, are absolutely exhausted, and ready to crash after your days long mission with Nat and Wanda. As you make your way to your bed, you haphazardly drop your gear on the floor leaving a trail for you to pick up later.

You sigh deeply, crawling into bed right beside Bucky.

"They didn't let up, huh?" he mumbles, turning away from his pillow toward you. He lifts one of his arms to allow you to curl up next to him as you throw the comforter over the two of you.

You shake your head before resting it on Bucky's chest.

"Steve either. And now Tony's joined in too."

You took a deep breath, wondering how exactly how to tell Bucky that somewhere in the weeks of badgering and long conversations, they'd won you over. They had a point, you didn't have a normal life, you didn't have a childhood or a first day of school, or anything that vaguely resembled a normal milestone, but this was something that you could have. And you could have that with Bucky.

You waited for Bucky's normal quip about how the two of you could just elope or go to city hall without telling anyone. It could be a legally binding ceremony too now that SHIELD had given you an ID. Of course that ID was more for optics and to appease those around you, while still remaining nothing more than SHIELD property.

You kept waiting for Bucky's snide comment, but it never came. You looked up at him and saw a conflicted, pensive look on his face. "Everything okay?"

"What if-" he starts, letting the words trail off as he shakes his head like the thought isn't worth finishing.

"What if?" you urge, tracing lines in the palm of his hand.

"I mean, would it be so bad?" he coyly asks.

Your fingers stop in their tracks as you look up at him. "James, do you want to have a wedding?" you quietly ask, carefully watching his reaction.

"No," he reflexively replies. "But also not no? Ugh...I don't know those little shit-heads are really persuasive."

"It could be fun," you offer, resuming your little tracings. "The whole ceremony, reception."

Bucky grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers with his own. "Oh my God, they talked you into it too?"

"They're really convincing when they want to be," you chortle.

"Trust me, I know," Bucky scoffs. "The entire way back Steve and Tony were talking my ear off about this being the start of our lives together. That it should be special. That we should do it right. I almost threw myself out of the plane."

"With a parachute this time?" you knowingly ask.

Bucky chuckles, knowing that of all things you were a real stickler about his safety measures- or lack thereof. "Yes, with a parachute this time."

"Good," you huff. "They did it on purpose, you know? Divide and conquer to get what they want."

"Meddling assholes," Bucky grumbles.

"Well, it's not a bad strategy. It worked, didn't it?"

He looks down at you with a warm smile, "So we're doing this? Having a real wedding with the black tie, the ceremony, we're really going to do it?"

"Yeah, I guess we are."

And that's how you found yourself here.

This wasn't even your decision to make, but that certainly didn't stop Steve and Sam from trying to force you to force Bucky to pick a best man.

And when he refused, and was now admittedly ignoring them, they didn't hesitate to use you as a liaison for Bucky- and maybe to sway him one way or another.

No matter how many times you told them it wasn't up to you, every time they saw you they were relentlessly pleading their cases. His mouth drops a little. “Oh no, Steve’s got you on his best man campaign too? That stings-”

“Can you please let me finish?”

“Fine,” he huffs in annoyance.

“Nat and Wanda explained to me that apparently someone’s supposed to walk me down the aisle - that normally it’s someone’s dad that gives them away. And you know that I don’t have a dad, but I don’t think I’d be here if it weren’t for you. So I want you to do it.”

Sam's annoyed expressions drops immediately as he gestures to himself like he can't quite believe what you've just asked him. "You want me to walk you down the aisle?"

"I know it's not the same as being James' best man-"

You're cut off by the sight of Sam starting to fan his face. “I told myself I wouldn’t cry. I told myself I wouldn’t cry.”

He abruptly stops fanning his face, throwing his arms around you in a bear hug.

"I won't tell them if you cry," you mumble into Sam's shoulder.

"Thanks," he mumbles back.

"Okay, I'm here. I'm here!" Sam exclaims, running in from the large entrance.

"Where the hell have you been? We're supposed to start in like 5 minutes."

"35 minutes," Sam corrects.

"What?"

"35 minutes. Not 5. We lied before so you'd be on time for once in your life."

You angrily gasp, "I don't have good perception of time! I've told you that like a million times."

"Exactly. And now we're all nice and early. And no one has to worry. You look beautiful by the way - Bucky's a lucky man."

"Thank you," you huff, still slightly annoyed that they lied to you. "I can't believe you guys lied to me."

"I have something for you," Sam states, completely ignoring your irritation and pulling out a file from behind his back.

"Do we need to do this right now?" you ask anxiously, gesturing to the large wooden doors. "We're kind of in the middle of something."

"It's important," he says, pushing the file towards you.

You sigh and nod, taking the file from him. The file in hand, you notice the SHIELD stamp on the manila envelope and you stop reading immediately. “They’re giving me a new handler again?” you meekly question.

You didn't hear much from SHIELD these days so long as you didn't do anything too defiant, so when you did it always made you a little uneasy.

“Why don’t you open it? Read the whole thing," he urges.

“Is it bad? If it’s bad I don’t want to open it.”

“You think I’d give you bad news, on today of all days?”

You take a deep breath and relax your tensed shoulders. “I guess not.”

“Just trust me. Open it.”

You open the folder to see a slim stack of documents. The first one with your name and birthdate on it. “What is this?��

“A birth certificate. A social. Your very own bank account. Everything you’re going to need.”

“Everything I’m going to need?” you echo.

Sam shrugs, feeling himself choke up. “Everything you’re gonna need to be on your own. Or with Bucky, I guess.”

“I don’t understand,” you exhale, fighting the tears welling in your eyes.

“As of yesterday, you are no longer a SHIELD asset. You are officially your own person. An Avenger if you want. A private citizen. Magician, maybe?”

“You’re not my handler anymore?”

“Nope. You’re officially a fully functional, productive member of society.”

“So I’m not going to see you anymore?” you ask more out of fear than actual rational thought.

“Well, you’re not getting rid of me that easily," he scoffs playfully, though you can hear the undercurrent of emotion in his voice. "You’re just your own person now. You’re free. You can make your own choices, live your life however you want to. Even if it is with that idiot. You don’t need me anymore.”

You throw your arms around your mentor. “I’m always going to need you.”

"Alright," he forcefully exhales, trying to shake off the emotion. "You've got that idiot waiting for you."

"Why do you keep calling him an idiot?" you chuckle, trying your best to blink away the tears. "He's your best friend."

"And because he's my best friend, I can say that he's an idiot. Anyway, today my loyalty is to you and only you. As a getaway car, if you want. If you want me to threaten Bucky and kick his ass. Just say the word. Whatever you need."

"Just walking me down the aisle will do, thank you very much."

"Then let's do it."

It all sort of blurred together after that. Walking down the aisle to Bucky. All the people you'd come to love surrounding you in a small ceremony. The wide, goofy-looking grin on Bucky's normally stoic expression.

The only thing that remained perfectly clear were the vows you exchanged as you stood right in front of him.

Holding his hands, you spoke first, "These last three years I've had to learn so much. So much that sometimes I feel like my head's just going to explode. And something I've always liked to believe is that somewhere out in this big, wonderful world is another part of you- that somewhere there's your other half waiting for you. I've always thought it was just so pretty to think that all along there was an invisible string that tied you to me. And you and me? I know you like I know myself. There's this book I read, and the quote goes, 'Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.' Or like Sam once put it, two sides of the same coin. I'm so lucky that I found my other half in you. That all this time I had someone who understands me better than I understand myself. And if I had to do it all again, I would because in the end, it brought me to you."

"And that's what I promise. I promise that I'll sit with you in the trenches, to show you the good even when you can't see it in yourself. And to love every part of you, even the parts that you don't like. Just you and me forever."

Bucky took a deep breath, both out of nerves and the raw emotions of hearing your vows to him. As if you know what he's feeling, you gently stroke the back of his hand with your thumb. He smiles and then begins speaking, "I'm not like you. I don't see the magic in the world. I don't believe in some epic destiny or fairytale happy ending. At least, I didn't. And I was perfectly fine, I really believed I was good on my own, that I was better off alone. Maybe I wasn't looking hard enough, or maybe I'd given up, but I never saw you coming. And I'll never be the same. And I can say with absolute certainty that I never thought about another person in the world that would know me like you know me. I've lived a lot of lives. Done things that I'm not particularly proud of. And there were so many days that I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. And you've turned me into a person that I actually like. You saw that in me when I couldn't even see it in myself. You're the brightest, warmest person I've ever know, and to know that you chose me, there aren't words for how that feels. Actually there is, it feels like peace. You feel like peace."

"Our lives are not peaceful. We both know that, so that's what I promise today, to be your safe place. To be your home. And even when everything feels like it's falling apart, I will be there. And I promise that as long as I'm here, you'll never have to be alone again."

You remember blinking away the tears welling in your eyes, the feeling of Bucky sliding your wedding band down your finger. Saying your I do's.

And then hearing, "You may kiss the bride."

He wasted not a single second, cupping your cheeks and pulling you in a sweet yet breathtaking kiss.

It was just you and him forever.

And you couldn't have imagined it getting better than this.

Next Chapter

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