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thesummerstorms · 4 years

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Rev Recaps Hard Contact (Chapter 20)

Final chapter at last!

CW: Violence & blood. Decapitation.

TL;DR Recap: Darman and Etain make it back to the gunship with the injured Atin and Uthan in tow, but Etain refuses to let Zey leave without Omega. Niner lures Hokan into a trap and Hokan is decapitated. Zey offers Etain a choice, but 12 years later the framework still makes no sense.

Beginning Kal Count: 39 Ending Kal Count: 42

This post includes my favorite scene in the book, and has probably double the expected word count because of that. Long-Ass Post.

We open with a Kal Quote. I am ignoring Kal Quotes this far into the game because I am already very informed on Traviss’s opinions, but that does raise the Kal Count to 40 already.

Instead, we focus on Darman writing poetry to a gunship.

:’) Dar has similes and metaphors down at least. Some unnamed clone troopers (white-armored) and a medic come running out and dismiss Darman when he tries to tell them everything that happened to Atin because he’s already adequately marked Atin’s armor. They’ve also taken Uthan, so with, finally, nothing left for Darman to do, he turns around to watch Zey and Etain.

So Etain doesn’t ask who Zey is at all anywhere in this scene, which even with the Force telling her he’s a Jedi and logical clues telling her she’s outranked, you would think that she’d want his name. She also uses his name in her narration later without being told it on screen at any point. So that makes me think they’ve met before this, at least briefly.

On the other hand their greeting is “formal”/ “etiquette” , not Etain being relieved that fucking finally, here is an adultier-adult whom she knows and trusts, so I don’t think they know one another well.

I’m sure the formal greeting vs “scene from a nightmare” thing is meant to be pointed, but whatever, we’re moving on. Well, except, I do have to point out:

The ARC, who I am calling Maze until I have evidence he’s not, takes off his helmet, doesn’t say shit to Darman, just stares at him. I don’t know why that makes me laugh.

Valaquil departs off the gunship, Darman praises Jinart, and Dar hopes the Republic will keep their word to the gurlanin because “they deserve it”, but we’ve long passed the point where I gave a shit about the gurlanin.

Zey’s priority --> mostly tactical, get this shit show of a mission over, but does try to reassure Etain

Etain --> where are my people???

I love how Dar expects Etain to “soften” because he knows that she longs to be confirmed as having worth and value, has learned this even after a very short mission, but Etain is also deeply loyal and her priorities have shifted.

Um, Maze, buddy? You want to chill?

OH OUCH MY HEART.

We as readers know that their helmets were shut down by the EMP, but here’s Darman, assuming that he’s just lost another half a squad and that just like Geonosis, he’ll never know for certain what happened to them. The flashback is heartbreaking.

Etain’s ability to use Force-sense is so weirdly inconsistent and plot-selective in this book, but I love her already being able to tell from a distance that Omega squad is okay, even to tell where they are. This is the precursor to her being able to feel Darman “across star systems”, but on some level she’s formed some version of this bond with all of them.

And you know, no one in this book ever explains why the Republic wants Uthan so bad, but knowing from Order 66 that Palps wanted to use her for his personal goals always pisses me off.

Darman has become familiar enough with Etain and her expressions that this expression immediately sets off his “oh shit” radar, and it’s not even the first time.

The one boot on the gunship and one on the soil is actually a nice tiny bit of symbolism- caught between what the Jedi expect of her and what she’s learned under fire from Omega- if you chose to interpret it that way. And I can actually sympathize with Zey’s annoyance here because Etain, tactically, is being pretty stupid here. If Uthan dies before they can get her proper care, if they can’t get off the planet, then it’s all for nothing.

But. I wouldn’t want her to react any other way. This is exactly my favorite moment of hers. (Which is why I have the entire damn thing highlighted before anyone calls me out for that lmao.)

Listen, Zey, you know ilu, but bringing up her dead Master in a less than complimentary way was supposed to... do what exactly for your argument? He also completely ignores Darman’s attempt to keep the peace, but we just upped our Kal Count to 41 with the talk of Etain’s loyalty being a mirror.

Again, tactically pretty dumb I’m sure but oh holy hell do I love it. Especially that underlined bit in red. “Darman thought she had changed her mind, but that wasn’t Etain at all.”

Darman desperately not wanting Etain to be targeted by whatever Jedi mind powers he thinks Zey is about to use on her. Darman thinking about how Zey doesn’t know Etain at all, that Zey is taking 100% the wrong approach, but if Darman was just allowed to talk to her-

That bit in red? That and the response Zey’s about to give are two of my favorite lines in the entire book.

Zey gives in. Darman tries to get Etain to stay anyway, I think because he’s worried about the fallout of this moment landing on her, although it’s kind of too little too late for that. But Zey, as tactically expensive as this could be, as annoyed as he has been, is still proud of Etain.

It’s just one little tiny moment that says so much about Dar and about Etain and even about Zey. That little moment of pride lets me think they were better suited to Master and Padawan that maybe either of them recognized or would later accept.

Unfortunately, we now have to leave my favorite scene ever and return to Hokan’s POV. Hokan is injured and doesn’t know where Fi has gotten to, but as expected, Niner’s screaming has caught his attention.

Hokan has this weird double consciousness, this deeply rooted aversion to mercy or anything he sees as weakness or softness. It’s still a really... delicate little moment?

Listen, I know that Niner’s not wounded and this still is upsetting.

Kal Count 42.

Hokan still is vacillating between thinking of Niner as an it more than a person, and “abomination” and thinking of him as a Mandalorian man who’s been unfairly used. Again, it’s this weird moment of double think, but it works in Niner’s favor, because nobody wants to know what would have happened if Hokan hadn’t taken the time to talk to him, or had decided to use the lightsaber.

The sheer irony of Hokan avoiding the lightsaber because it was too much like what happened to Jango on Geonosis... and then Etain decapitates him... with a lightsaber.

Niner says he doesn’t like to complain, but. Also, still very fair. And a much needed laugh after that last moment.

“Probably okay” Fi.

Also This raises SO MANY questions because Mando armor is supposed to hold off Jedi if it’s beskar, but this isn’t, which means Fi spends the rest of the series hoarding and or wearing armor that isn’t beskar.

Etain is trembling, we’ll find out from her POV, because she’s still reacting to hearing Niner scream like that, and it rattles her deeply. Which again, I sympathize with, because it makes me upset.

But I mean, even if Traviss forgets it... there has to be a lot of emotion to being handed Kast Fulier’s lightsaber. He was the only one who was kind to her in the Order, at least from her point of view, she failed him, he was tortured to death with that lightsaber, and now it’s being returned to her. This is the closest she’ll ever get to closure, because as with Omega’s original brothers, there are no bodies left for burial. KT completely ignores the weight of that... but I think about it a lot.

Darman being gentle with her and praying that Fi doesn’t open his mouth makes me feel soft, though. And Niner gives her a tiny bit of the acknowledgement/respect she's wanted.

We go to her POV next:

Same, Etain. Same. Again, as she points out... Niner’s heard that before. And none of the rest of the squad who was there for it even really seems fazed?

She’s also guilty about not being Jedi enough of course, but that’s nothing new at this point. And I’m sure Fi and Niner can appreciate her not-Jedi instincts. (Or does Zey’s tacit approval mean actually her stunt with the gunship is rooted in some Jedi ideals, even if it’s tactically stupid? idk.)

Maze & Zey take turns doing the pacing, confirmed. It’s just funny because earlier Zey was annoying the shit out of Niner by pacing and breaking up the holos at the briefing.

ZEY BACKSTORY! ZEY BACKSTORY! IDGAF ABOUT KAL; WHERE’S MY ZEY BACK STORY.

Ahem.

Anyway, the conversation turns to what actually happens to Etain now. She is, after all, an orphaned Padawan in the middle of war time.

“Etain could think of nothing worse than staying on Qiilura, with its terrible memories and uncertain future... She was alone again and scared.”

Okay, so we can debate what Etain’s duty is in this scenario. As Zey says, she knows better than anyone what Qiilura is like, and that’s info Zey can’t attempt to replicate, even if he reads Omega’s reports. It wouldn’t be the same as having Etain’s first hand experience.

But that... still leaves Etain “alone”, “scared”, stuck on a planet that is “full of terrible memories” and is associated deeply with at least three months of trauma. And she’s going to accept that, because she’s being guilted with the Jedi values of non-attachment and duty to the Republic. But I don’t know that this is the healthiest way for her to finish out her training. Like. Do the Jedi not have counselors or something, Zey?

It’s just... really sad to me.

a) Note to self about the body language here again. “dug her nails into her palms”, tried to compose herself.

b) oh shut up about what’s expected of soldiers; not everything has to be comparative

c) I had a conversation with samwichwilson about this scene that’s probably still in the tags somewhere.

But the framework of this choice makes absolutely ZERO sense to me.

Like, my kingdom for the AU where Etain chooses to go with Omega squad and spends the next nine months learning to blow shit up with them. I have no idea how that would work since she’s a Padawan and still technically needs a Master’s supervision, but I would enjoy it. She would definitely be happier than she’s gonna be on Qiilura.

But... while the narrative is presenting this as serious-ish options... like, there’s no way Zey would have actually go through with that last one, right? Point about working undercover aside, if he’s offering to let one clone stay, he might as well offer all 4, and he specifically narrows it down to one of the squad, not all of Omega.

So while Etain typically seems to believe an even lower opinion of her than KT actually writes (to match her low self-esteem) I have to assume that she’s right and she’s being tested here? But Zey, what the hell were you going to do if she said yes and asked to go with Omega? Much less if, when she accidentally caves here in a moment, Darman had said yes and agreed to stay with her.

She would have failed the test, and you can’t really let them start dating under your supervision... so what are you gonna do about that?

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. As unfair as it is, the choice is not really a choice, and Etain has been guilted into remaining in this place she hates. She’ll probably even end up working with Jinart again. Bleh.

Etain seems to be taking these options as if they’re really, truly serious here, but as a reader, it’s incredibly hard to see them that way. Because again. What’s Zey gonna do if she fails the attachment test.

(Unless you want to argue that the predilection with Jedi non-attachment and rules breaking is 100% in Etain’s head here and her guilt and mental conditioning just won’t let her see that Zey is 100% truthful and kindly letting Etain go off with these people she’s become so desperate to attach herself to. But that doesn’t fit like... any canon about the Jedi Order. Or ANY of Traviss’s writing tbh.)

I mean, at least Etain knows herself pretty well here. Her brain is going “abort abort, abort” but can’t actually stop her from doing the stupid thing. She’s also trying to communicate to Dar that this isn’t her abandoning him, this is her still caring.

Listen, you can point out Dar’s lack of experience and still miss all the “child” bullshit. And honestly, his response to her saying that she’ll miss him comes off... almost a little cold. “You’ll miss me. I’m going to die in ten years, but don’t worry about me because I’m going the closest I have to home.” Maybe he’s trying to reassure her / also not to admit to someone who is now an Officer again that he’ll miss her too. It just sounds weird, even if we get the line that he was “considering it seriously.”

Or I guess what really annoys me is that in this moment that should be really personal and painful for these two characters, this just sounds... weirdly preachy?

Also...like... again Etain had to know that it wasn’t an actual option, even if the rest of the series will pretend that it was, including when she looks back at it in Triple Zero. But I’m choosing to read it more as a mark of her desperation- being so desperate and lonely, and, yes, a little trapped that her emotion overrides what she knows to be true.

💔💔💔

There’s some lines about how she’s a better Jedi Forever now because of “a soldier faith in her” but I have mixed feelings about those because they’re followed up with a bunch of bullshit about how she should learn from him because he had accepted his fate and had no self pity, and I don’t have time for ANY of that. You are allowed to feel bad when bad things happen to you, even if you are a woman or a Jedi.. Fuck off, Traviss.

Sweetheart.

Listen, you know and I know that she’ll see them again, she and Darman will fall in love, she isn’t trapped on Qiilura, a place of her nightmares, forever.

But it still feels like a real fucking downer of an ending.

Still, we have now officially made it to the end of Hard Contact. I haven’t decided if I’ll make posts for Triple Zero or if they’ll follow this format if they do. (Your thoughts/comments/feedback are welcome, as always.)

Final Kal Count was 42, which is actually impressive for a 20 chapter novel in which he DOES NOT APPEAR.

#Rev Recaps RepComm #Republic Commando #Hard Contact #RepComm #Etain Tur-Mukan #Darman Skirata #Niner Skirata #Atin Skirata #Fi Skirata #Arligan Zey #Captain Maze #I think

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chiclet-go-boom · 5 years

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waxing philosophical about star wars on main because i don’t do side blogs

There’s a meta post from @symptomofconvalescence going around this morning about Kylo Ren/Ben Solo that crossed my dash a couple of times, stating that the base of his character is wanting to be loved and valued and seen. I don’t normally involve myself with meta discourse but I quietly disagree with most of the opening statements although I’m in general agreement with the tone of the conclusions, so I’m going to take a minute to talk about why. I’ll quote the relevant passage below:

Fundamentally, he wants to be loved, he wants to be valued, he wants to be seen. But he isn’t getting that love or understanding. Very early on in his life, he becomes convinced that his family betrayed him- justly and unjustly at the same time. His family loved him but they did make mistakes, grave mistakes, and Snoke was there to take advantage of that immediately. Understandably, he turns to Snoke who promised to make the pain go away, to make him a new person. But at some point he realizes that Snoke never cared for him either, and his heart and loyalties complete their shift to Rey. When Rey leaves him, he feels that he truly has no one left he can care for and no one who can care for him, so he spirals out of control into despair and anger.

Some quick notes on this:

Kylo’s had love and rejected it.

Kylo knows he has value - he’s had both sides of the sith/jedi line fighting over him his entire life after all and they’re still fighting. His entire life is a smoking battleground because of it.

Kylo doesn’t turn to Snoke because he thinks his mentor cares about him or is offering him less pain or an easier path. The Dark path is notoriously hard to walk. He doesn’t turn from Snoke to Rey because Rey cares more or that he wants someone to care about. Caring isn’t the problem here.

What Snoke promised and what he killed Snoke for, was acceptance.

A statement to start with. Ben Solo is an extremely powerful Force user and part of his skill set includes both defensive and offensive telepathy, empathy and mental manipulation (along with incredibly fine-grained telekinesis and battle precognition but while I could absolutely get into that, it’s irrelevant to this post). He has the ability to break minds and extract information with ease and in movie-canon he appears to be Snoke’s chief torturer in that respect, sent to interrogate both Poe Dameron and Rey with the implication that this is just part of what he does for the First Order.

Kylo knows he’s loved because he’s empathetic. He is also not unaware of what Snoke feels about him which isn’t going to be any kind of tender emotion like caring, except in the possible sense of how one might care for a pet - some amalgamation of possessiveness and pride and control for owning something rare and unique. When Han tells Kylo that he’s being used and will be discarded, that isn’t any sort of revelation; he knows that Snoke is trying to break him, trying to sift out the pieces that Snoke doesn’t want.

What Snoke offered to Ben was acceptance of who he was. Snoke wasn’t afraid of Ben’s anger - in fact, he praised him for it, elevated him for it, told him to embrace it, told him he could use it. Growing up with every adult in his life afraid of him on some level, that had to have been a very tempting feeling, to be wanted for exactly the flaw that everybody else wants you to carve out of yourself. Did Snoke stoke that feeling? Absolutely. Did he poison all of Ben’s interactions to make that crevasse, that disconnect wider and wider? You know he did. But it was still there to start with, Snoke just made it deeper and darker.

That’s how the Dark works and what the Dark promises. That it’s possible to be self-contained, beyond all reproach, beyond all judgement if you’re willing to do whatever it takes to get there. Self above everything, above all things — everything else, every one else irrelevant. Ben felt (and for practical purposes was) betrayed by everyone in his life and Kylo is on a quest to amass enough power now — secular, mystical, emotional — that he can’t be judged and found wanting by anyone anymore.

He wants to stop feeling bad about who he is. Wants desperately to stop caring what other people think of him because for all this power, all this potential, he’s been told over and over again that his essential nature is wrong and always has been.

Circling back, there is no way Kylo’s unaware of what his mother and his father feel for him - he’s right in front of Han after all, who I will remind everybody has nothing in the way of Force defenses, while they talk on the bridge in that pivotal scene in The Force Awakens. Han is pouring out likely megatons of emotion at his son in those few minutes - love, regret, guilt, compassion, determination, desperation - along with his verbal words begging his son to please come home, that he is loved and that he is wanted. Han’s not lying. And notably neither is Kylo which is why the whole thing is so terrible.

For while Kylo verbalizes his conflict, acknowledges that he still feels, still cares, he still sacrifices his father because what Kylo wants in that moment is more important than his father’s actual life. That’s a quintessential Dark side move even if the aftermath didn’t necessarily accomplish all that it was supposed to. In that moment, Kylo chose himself while looking love right in the face.

So love isn’t what Kylo wants because he’s got that and it so very clearly isn’t enough.

(As an aside, he’s in communication on some level with Leia in The Last Jedi when he’s targeting the command deck of the Raddus, although whether its empathic or telepathic isn’t stated nor what specifically passes between them. Simple awareness? Actual conversation? It does, however, turn Kylo back from matricide so the question there is - why? Love didn’t stop him before so why does it stop him now? You could argue that since killing Han didn’t bring him what he wanted, he’s reluctant to sacrifice his mother for the same net zero gain. There’s a ton of nuance here, it’s not going to be a single, clean answer for this. Did he blame his father more? Does he blame his mother less? Anyways.)

As for the question of value, Ben Solo has been in the middle of a vicious tug of war since he was in the womb and he knows it. Yet neither side wants him as he is. He’s got too much Dark for the Light to trust him - hence Luke’s betrayal, Han and Leia’s abandonment. He’s got too much Light for the Dark to be able to use him easily - hence Snoke’s escalating (and calculated) disgust and ridicule, keeping Kylo unstable. Snoke is Dark but not Sith; it’s fairly obvious from the outside perspective that he’s not teaching his apprentice to surpass him, as a Sith master should, but to make him strong in the Force while keeping him emotionally weak and manipulatable.

The Jedi espouse that there is no emotion, except in the abstract. The Sith espouse that the only feelings that count are the ones that aggrandize the self. Ben didn’t fit into the first and Kylo can’t fit into the second no matter how hard he tries.

So what Kylo is truly looking for is acceptance for who he is and how he is, which is why Snoke ended up dead on his throne because in that moment after touching hands through the Force bond with Rey, Kylo thought he’d finally, finally found it.

Which bring us to Rey.

Rey is uniquely positioned to understand both Ben Solo and Kylo Ren. First, the Force Bond has made her confront her own prejudices as Kylo makes her question the lies she was told and the truths she wasn’t and she can feel what he feels, all that swirling rage and hurt. She’s also grown up alone and rejected and carries her own scars because of it, even as she managed to hang onto both hope and compassion when Ben couldn’t. Rey is angry over what was done to her. But better, Rey is furious over what was done to him.

That isn’t abstract emotion. That isn’t generic Jedi compassion for all living things. That’s Rey, willing to confront the legendary Luke Skywalker over what he did to Ben specifically and then completely abandon her mission to recruit the Jedi back to the Resistance because of it.

Rey is the only one who could look at Kylo Ren and see all that he is and accept it because fundamentally that’s who she is too. Look at Rey when she fights. She’s not in the least passive about it, she’s channeling nearly as much rage as Kylo does. She’s not trained in the Dark, she doesn’t accept the mandates of the Dark but she’s not Jedi either. She feels too much, just like Kylo does.

But… she doesn’t accept him. In the home stretch in the throne room, Kylo planted his feet on all the choices that got him this far and chose himself, chose to consolidate personal power regardless of everything and everyone else — and Rey chose the good of the many over the needs of the one. They were both right. And they were both wrong.

But the crux of it is that it’s not about love or value at all, that’s not the essential problem. Rey and Kylo can love each other to the ends of the universe and back if they want to, see themselves mirrored in each other, understand each other, and it’s still not going to change anything.

They have to accept each other, as they are, without trying to change each other’s essential nature. Rey wanted Ben and refused Kylo and that’s where it all blew up and we ended up with a kyber crystal that split itself in half rather than decide.

#star wars #kylo ren #rey #reylo #reylo discourse

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dpargyle · 4 years

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STAR WARS SPOILERS!

SW SPOILERS: – predicted almost everything that happened in RISE. Don’t care. I LOVED it. Fitting end to the saga. ‘It rhymed.’ This is gonna take a while to process. I am emptied. I am full. Rey means even more to me than before. Also, she’s a trans girl- confirmed. SEND TWEET.

Lemme explain. “No,” to quote Inigo Montoya, “there is too much. Let me sum up:” Rey has always meant a lot to me. As I’ve explained on here before. Lonely scavenger. “Me? I’m nobody.” Knows her situation is bleak. She cannot connect with anyone, despite her innate warmth.

But she holds on. Waits. Waits for her past to come back – to tell her WHO SHE IS. But as Maz says in TFA, “the belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.” Then in TLJ Rey goes through a dark night of the soul – wrestling with the DARKNESS within her.

Rey yearns to learn WHO SHE IS. She sees herself, echoed ad infinitum. Her reflection, branching into…she does not yet know. She fears the DARKNESS will suck her down and she’ll never find out who she was born to be.

Rey fears she will give in, becoming servant to all the things inside she HATES about herself. Yet still, she tries, desperately, to pass her mantle on to others – onto Luke – but he cannot carry it. It is hers to raise.

Rey’s struggle with her inner DARKNESS is also mirrored in her relationship with Kylo Ren. Hard, full of rage – and yet this warm girl, with clear eyes and full heart (despite the coldness of the galaxy, she holds on to hope) …

Kylo offers Rey his hand – to dive down into the DARKNESS with him. And she says no. That path will not be hers. She hates how her insides (Kylo) war against her – she knows he’s better than this…

Rey calls him Ben - softer, better Ben&yet he strips himself from her – he’s too angry – too fearful – for the first time, Rey realizes that has never been her, she lets that part of herself go. Like leaving a part of herself (MASCULINITY?) behind. "Killing her past."

It is for the best. Terrifying, but Rey can now change her wardrobe -so by the time RISE rolls around, she is wearing FEMINITY on her sleeve. (White/Black – which…not the greatest color coding metaphor for…racism reasons…but it’s what Disney chose lol - *sigh*)

Yet still, she struggles – she feels darkness still warring within her. Maybe it'll always be part of her.Always define her.Then she discovers (& OMG SPOILERS!) she has the blood of the root of that darkness within her. Ye olde Sheev himself, slithering within. A Palpatine.

The masculine voice within Rey (Kylo) taunts her – THIS IS WHO YOU ARE. THIS IS WHO YOU WILL ALWAYS BE. DON’T BE AFRAID. EMBRACE THE DARKNESS (MASCULINITY). And yet. She persists. She refuses.

Like Finn’s feeling, like an instinct –calling her home. Her real home.Herself.She burns Kylo’s ship&then her teacher shows up. Brave, gentle Luke.Who’s always known. (And Leia too.)&yet they both saw her heart. So they trained her for the fight again.For they both saw the truth:

The heart means more than blood. Our blood, our bones, our biology, AMAB, AFAB, whatever the fuck – does not define us. We define us. Not the voices of rage and hate and fear within and without us. We. “I am Rey. Rey SKYWALKER.”

Rey defeats ole Palps with the help of friends (who she leads like an old prophet into battle)&those heroes that came before.Old Ben.Anakin.Yoda.Luke.Leia.Ahsoka.(of course, Ahsoka.)As queer community is vital for trans folks, the old queers of the past look down & spur her on-

Their hearts beat as one within her & all the hate directed at her could never match it. in the end, it nearly kills her. But her old, masculine side lets his helmet fall,becoming her gentle, brave Ben-& gives himself up to save her. They meet in the middle. Kiss goodbye.

Masculinity bowing to Feminity. A reconciliation – a reincarnation – old into new. A beginning. Rey buries the old BLUE blades into the sands, where it all began. The rhyme is complete. She has forged a new weapon. Someone asks her who she is.

At the beginning of all this, Rey said she was no one. As with many trans girls, we try to convince ourselves to stay in our old loneliness – in a desert just like Jakku – cut off from all wrestling with inexpressible us…but, as with all good stories, we finally “step outside our door,” as us. The Real us.

Rey tells the old woman. “I’m Rey Skywalker.” Like a trans girl, she has not only forged the tools and weapons she will need in her new world, she has also forged her own name. What gentle power. An icon. Staring into the rising suns, full of hope…

Look, obviously, Lucasfilm & Abrams didn't intend for me to see Rey’s character arc as some sorta trans allegory. Again, I don’t care. Didn’t we all decide to murder the authors and all our other heroes out in the street in broad daylight after certain events yesterday?

To paraphrase, “we are who grew beyond them. Such is the burden of all students.” We take the lessons they handed down, and like Rey’s staff, have forged different tools for the brave new world we are forging ahead. A different world than theirs. A better one, I hope.

#baby trans things #trans #transgender #trans girl #trans girls #queer #sw #star wars #star wars spoilers #star wars the rise of skywalker #the rise of skywalker #rey #daisy ridley

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onceuponmystory · 4 years

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I Have Finally Found Peace With The Rise of Skywalker

And it's all thanks to my crazy, wonderful, just-as-obsessed-with-Star-Wars-as-I-am best friends.

But before I tell you how we did it, I have to give you guys two rather important warnings concerning this post.

First and foremost, please beware that there will be MAJOR SPOILERS for The Rise of Skywalker in this post. If you haven't seen the movie, proceed at your own risk, and don't say I didn't warn you.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, this post is quite critical of the movie. I examine in detail everything I thought was bad about The Rise of Skywalker, and give my opinion on how it could have been done better.

But that doesn't mean this is a negative post - in fact, I hope to achieve quite the opposite. With the help of my friends, I realised that the best way to make your peace with The Rise of Skywalker is to talk through it and play Teacher With A Red Pen on the parts you didn't like.

I have to warn you that I tend to get a little carried away playing Teacher With A Red Pen. There's just so much to say about this movie... But if you're up to reading an insanely long post, I really think it'll be worth your while.

Now, since this is a free era, we are all entitled to our own opinions, and this is mine. You are perfectly welcome to disagree with me, just please do it politely. And with that out of the way, let's jump right in, shall we?

First Things First: Ben Solo's Death

I think one of the biggest WHY??? moments in the entire movie was Ben Solo's sacrifice and death. I'll say it now - I hated that twist, absolutely hated it. And not just because I'm a huge fan of Reylo, either.

To start, it's predictable, the exact mirror of the Darth Vader sacrifice/death scene from Return of the Jedi. And while it worked for Darth Vader, doing it again with Ben was not only cliché and repetitive, but also a slap in the face to the character.

Because Ben Solo deserved better. He really, really did.

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo was from the start a very conflicted character - the son of two of the galaxy's greatest heroes, and the nephew of the last Jedi, manipulated from birth by Emperor Palpatine. Yes, he did terrible things, but he also had terrible things done to him. At the very least, he deserved the chance to atone for some of those terrible things.

While we're talking about slaps in the face, Ben dying made the deaths of Han, Luke and Leia mean so much less. All three of those people gave their lives so that their son (nephew, in Luke's case) would turn back to the light. Especially Leia - she literally used the last of her energy to reach out to her son and turn him back. Killing Ben off makes her sacrifice almost meaningless - didn't she die so he would be able to live a better life?

And my last point about the Massive Unfairness of Ben's Death has to do with Rey. She and Ben love each other, don't they? They are literally described as "two of us who are one" - which is about as close as we're going to get to soulmates in Star Wars. With Ben's death, Rey lost half of who she is - not to mention the man she loved.

George Lucas once said, and I quote, that "I have always hated that in movies, when you go along and one of the main characters gets killed. This is a fairytale. You want everybody to live happily ever after and nothing bad happens to anybody."

So yes, maybe it's not the most perfect of arguments, but this is Star Wars. And after all these years of love and admiration, we all deserve that happy ending.

And While We're At It: Ben Deserved A Proper Redemption Arc

I know I've just spent a long time ranting about why Ben deserved better, but I'm not quite done yet. Because yes, Ben absolutely deserved better - and most of all, he deserved a proper redemption.

Now, I don't know how many of you have seen Avatar The Last Airbender, but that show contains a prime example of a really good redemption arc. It's not simple, and it's not at all easy, but it's worth it.

In ATLA, Fire Prince Zuko starts off as the villain of the series, but ends up seeing that the way he was raised was wrong. He decides to make amends by joining his former enemy, Avatar Aang, and helping him save the world.

But what makes it really good is that it's not easy for Zuko. He struggles, he genuinely does, and he has to really work to earn the trust of the people who used to be his enemies. And time-consuming and difficult as it was, it ultimately ended up being worth it a thousand times over.

That, my friends, is a redemption arc. It takes time, and work, and real atonement. More than anything, I wanted to see that for Ben. I wanted him to struggle, and be distrusted, and hate himself, because that is the only way he can really redeem himself - by rising above all that and saying, "I was wrong, I'm sorry, and I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me, because I really want to change."

Death is taking the easy way out - in fact, it's lazy writing. Ben didn't have to die - his whole story, which is already so defined by struggle and conflict, would have been far more meaningful if he had had a final struggle, this time to prove that he really had changed.

Unfortunately, the writers chose to take the cliché easy way out, killing off the character instead of giving him a much deeper, more meaningful ending.

If there was one thing - just one thing - I could change about The Rise of Skywalker, it would be that. I would give Ben the chance to properly redeem himself, because he really, truly deserves it.

Moving On: Rose Tico

With the Ben arc out of the way, I can move on to the next biggest issue I had with The Rise of Skywalker - and that's the horrible sidelining of one of my favourite characters from The Last Jedi, Rose Tico.

Now, I get that not everyone liked Rose's character - and that's fine. But there was no reason - none at all - for basically removing Rose, who played quite a significant role in The Last Jedi, from the new movie. Additionally, given all the racist and sexist harassment that Kelly Marie Tran suffered at the hands of malcontent fans, cutting Rose from the film almost seems like caving to those trolls.

And that is not acceptable. If you let a bully have his way, stopping him becomes near impossible. So even if it was just to show the trolls that bullying will not get you what you want, Rose Tico deserved a bigger role.

What bigger role, you may ask? Many people have said, and I grudgingly agree, that there wasn't really space for Rose to go along on the whole wayfinder quest. All right, fine. But sidelining her completely is not the right course of action. If you can't take her along on the main quest, then give her a significant sub-plot, for example joining Lando to call for aid for the Resistance.

Remember, Rose Tico was the person who turned Finn from an ex-stormtrooper more than ready to desert the Resistance into a loyal fighter for the cause he believes in - to such an extent that he was willing to sacrifice his own life for the survival of the Resistance. If there's anyone who could give the galaxy enough hope again to send help to the Resistance, it's Rose Tico.

Oh, and some more Finnrose would have been nice. You don't have to agree with me - I know many of you don't - but you have to admit that Finn and Rose definitely had some sort of a bond forged in The Last Jedi, even if it was just a platonic one. Basically ignoring that like they did in The Rise of Skywalker is just bad writing.

So I'm not saying that Rose needed to be the main star of the show - that would have been unrealistic, after all. But I do think, and I will stand by this opinion no matter what, that Rose deserved a lot better than what she got.

And On That Track: Jannah Was An Unnecessary Character

Don't get me wrong, I love Naomi Ackie, and I appreciate that Star Wars is trying to incorporate a more diverse cast. But despite it all, I just couldn't bring myself to like Jannah's character, or see why she was actually necessary.

See, if you take out Jannah, nothing much changes. Yes, it was nice for Finn to have someone to talk and relate to, but it wasn't necessary. We already know that Finn was a stormtrooper, just like we already know he left it behind him.

Also, Finn already had a female character he had a significant bond to - none other than Rose Tico from my previous rant. Why force in an all-new potential love interest at the last minute when you already have one with far more development? Not only could Rose have conceivably replaced Jannah in pretty much every scene, she also has a lot more development and history with Finn than Jannah does, which would have made their interactions that much more meaningful.

And as for the attack on Pryde's Destroyer with the Orbaks (and no, I didn't know that's what those cow things were called, either, until I Googled it a few seconds ago) - that was a nice touch, but there's a simple way it could have been much better. Instead of introducing an all-new character and cow things with a name no-one knew unless they looked it up on Wookieepedia, bring back the fathiers from Canto Bight and that little Force-sensitive kid with the broom from The Last Jedi.

At this point, some of you may be wondering why I'm not attacking Zorii Bliss as well - isn't she also a brand-new character with very little real development? The answer to that is yes, she is, but she gives Poe Dameron some much-needed backstory. If you cut Zorii, Poe has no significant backstory, which means that she was actually important to the plot. (Also, Keri Russell is awesome, and has stunning eyes. Enough said.)

So I'm sorry, Naomi Ackie, but I really wish that Jannah <i>wasn't</i> in The Rise of Skywalker. She's just there for too short to have any real development, and I'd rather use the time I gain from cutting her to focus on Rose and the actual plot.

While I'm Talking About The Plot: What On Earth Happened? Is Star Wars A Video Game, Now?

Ah, yes. Another big issue with The Rise of Skywalker is its rather disappointing lack of actual plot.

I'm sure some of you are frowning quite heavily at me right now, so let me backtrack a little and explain.

Upon first watching, The Rise of Skywalker seems like quite a good movie, really. (Except the ending, of course - but We Do Not Talk About The Ending.) It's only when you re-watch the movie that you realise that there is, in fact, very little really significant plot there.

To put it simply, a large part of the movie is a group of characters going to a Place to find a Thing that will help them find another Thing that will take them to another Place where they will save the world. Does this sound like a video game to anyone?

The thing with this kind of plot is that it works well the first time, when you don't know what's going to happen, and when the lack of plot can be hidden by dramatic explosions and cool fight scenes. Oh, and flying stormtroopers.

This is Star Wars, so there just has to be some explosions, as well as a quest of some kind. I don't deny that. But when said quest and explosions fill the story to such a degree that they become the plot, you're in cinematic trouble.

This is pretty much proven when you re-watch The Rise of Skywalker. Where the heroic quest and explosions and jetpack-sporting stormtroopers had you at the edge of your seat last time, now that you know what's coming, you start to see that very little actually happens in these scenes. Sure, they look cool, but they don't really affect the overall movement of the story in a significant way.

And that's a problem, given that most of the movie consists of scenes like these, or exposition. There are precious few scenes in which two or more characters have meaningful development in a way that will continue to affect them and the plot. This, unfortunately, means that the movie falls flat a bit when you watch it for the second time.

How would I change this?

Well, for starters, I would focus less on the actual hunt for the dagger and the wayfinder and whatever and more on the characters. How do they feel? Why do they feel it? And most importantly, how does this affect what happens to the rest of the characters and the plot?

Also, like I said before, more attention has to be given to a) Ben's redemption and b) an interesting sub-plot for Rose. And you know what? The lightsaber fight scenes could have been a lot cooler, as well.

Some More Complaining About The Plot: This Time, It's Plot Holes

Where to start, where to start. All movies have a plot hole of some kind, it's only natural, but The Rise of Skywalker is simply riddled with them.

Of course, this can be attributed to the lack of plot as explained in the previous rant. Since there is so little time spent actually developing the plot, it just stands to reason that said plot isn't the most watertight.

It's sort of spectacular, though, how quickly the first plot hole pops up. It must be just five minutes into the script - you guessed it, on Exegol.

Not only was the Emperor's resurrection never properly explained, but we also have about a thousand creepy Sith guys who are just suddenly there when needed for plot purposes. Who are they? Where did they come from? How did we not know about them before?

The Rise of Skywalker doesn't even try to answer any of these questions. It just gets glossed over in a classic example of How To Write A Glaring Plot Hole.

And while we're talking about Palpatine, let's take a look at his lackey-in-chief, Allegiant General Pryde, who oh-so-dramatically declares that he serves Palpatine "as I served you in the old wars."

Wait a minute. The old wars? As in the Return of the Jedi wars? Well then why on earth haven't we heard of Pryde before?

Sure, maybe he wasn't a major enough character to show in the original trilogy. But if he was such a faithful servant of Palpatine's, shouldn't he at least have made some kind of cameo in The Last Jedi or The Force Awakens? That would also have been some nice foreshadowing for the Emperor's return.

Also, when and how did Rey fix Anakin's lightsaber? As I recall, at the end of The Last Jedi, it snapped in half. But when we skip to Rey in The Rise of Skywalker, it's perfectly whole again, with not a hint of explanation on the horizon.

Yes, maybe this isn't the biggest plot hole, but it's annoying. At least just have someone mention in passing "Oh well done Rey, you finished fixing the lightsaber" so it's not quite so out of the blue.

And there's more. When Rey and Kylo have their big fight on Kef Bir, Rey quite clearly takes Kylo's TIE fighter. Since the Falcon most definitely did not stop by for him, how did Ben get off Kef Bir?

This is never explained. He just pitches up on Exegol, and immediately starts fighting the Knights of Ren so you forget about wondering how he got there in the first place.

Can I just say the Knights of Ren were a disappointment? I was hoping for a lot more... anything, actually. They did pretty much nothing except look menacing for the entirety of the movie, unless you count getting thoroughly beaten by Ben on Exegol.

I've probably missed another plot hole or seven, but I think I've had enough for the moment. You can only pull faces for so long, after all. I'm moving on.

Last Thing: Too Much Fan Service

Picking up from where I left off - bad plot - I'll start by breaking a few hearts and saying that I thought Chewie should have died.

Wait, wait, don't run away screaming "Traitor!" like that! Dead Chewie would have been absolutely heart-breaking, I know, but it would have made for a really good plot point.

Rey thought she killed Chewie, and that quite understandably broke her heart. But then she finds out, oh no, wait, he's actually alive, there was another transport in the desert, ha ha, don't worry, fans.

While that satisfies fans, looking at it critically, it would have been better to really kill Chewie. Very sad, yes, but better.

Let me explain. If Rey killed Chewie, really killed him, she would have been devastated. Being Rey, she probably would have isolated herself so she wouldn't accidentally hurt anyone else. She would have grieved, and her friends would have had to really work to comfort her and get her to trust herself again. This experience would have left Rey that much sadder and wiser, but stronger because of it.

This can be summed up quite simply: sad moments make the happy moments mean that much more.

But unfortunately for Rey's character development, Chewie is not really dead. The fans might be happy that they didn't lose a beloved character, but what they don't realise is that they lost a significant character progression instead.

And, sadly, this is not the only spot where the movie indulges its fans rather than a deeper plot.

For example, Rey buries Luke and Leia's lightsabers on Tattooine, and we fans get a warm tingly feeling in our stomachs because yay, we've come full circle.

But have we?

Tattooine holds nothing but bad memories for the Skywalker twins - Luke spent his entire life trying to get off the planet, and that homestead holds only bad memories for him. Easy as it is to forget, the last time Luke saw that homestead was when his aunt and uncle had been brutally murdered there. I somehow can't imagine that's where he would want his lightsaber buried - that's the equivalent of burying Harry Potter's wand at Number Four Privet Drive, for crying out loud.

The same can be said for Leia. Her one experience of Tattooine was the infamous gold bikini scene with Jabba the Hutt - totally the place where she'd want to have her lightsaber, her legacy, buried, hmm?

My conclusion is that the "hopeful and uplifting" Tattooine ending scene is really only that way if you don't think too hard about it. Pure fan service, in other words.

Which is sad, if you consider the ending we could have had. We could have had Rey burying the lightsabers on Naboo, because that's where her grandfather came from, to symbolise that she really was leaving the past behind.

And if you have to be fan service-y, at least do it in the right way. Give Rey and Ben their happy ending, because as George Lucas puts it, having the boy and the girl walk into the sunset hand-in-hand adds ten million to the box office. (And a sunset across Naboo's seas would look very pretty, wouldn't it?)

In Conclusion: TROS Being So Bad Is Actually A Good Thing, Because Now We Get To Fix It The Way We Want

Take a moment to consider that. If The Rise of Skywalker was so bad that we no longer consider it canon, well, that means we can invent our own canon, doesn't it?

This is how I made my peace with The Rise of Skywalker - by accepting that the movie Disney gave us needed some severe changes, and applying them in my head. You won't believe how much better I feel now that I have "my" version of The Rise of Skywalker accepted as canon in my head.

That's my message to you all: if TROS has upset you as much as it did me, don't try to deny it to yourself. Gather a group of good friends around you and have a The Rise of Skywalker fix-it session, and talk it out until you've made the movie into what you want to see.

We are the fans, my friends, and we deserve the movie that we want to see. So get out there and make it for yourselves!

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elliepassmore · 5 years

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Heir of Fire Review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: fantasy, magic, Fae, training montages, brewing rebellion, enemies-to-friends,Throne of Glass, strong female leads, multiple POVs I'll admit right now that Heir is my favorite book in the series, followed closely by Blade. I'm pretty sure this is the one I've reread the most, so I've pretty much have it memorized at this point (it's also the only one I also have in German, even if I haven't read that edition yet). Just, be prepared for lots of 'I love's. Keep in mind, the reveal from the ending of Crown of Midnight is going to be addressed in this review, so be warned. I love that, like in Blade, we get to see more of the world ToG is set in. Celaena goes to Wendlyn and hangs out in the mortal capital city, Varese, for a little bit. During the brief bit of time she's there, we get an understanding that it's a hot city that's pretty similar to Rifthold, only without the history of oppression and fear (read: it and its people are a lot happier). We also get a nicely painted picture of the misty, tree-covered valleys and mountain sides as well as some of the fishing towns. Mistward, the fortress she trains at, seems like it would be an awesome vacation spot if it weren't so close to Maeve, and that was honestly what I thought about most of the time when I deemed to analyze it. One place I definitely wish we got to see more of, but understand why we don't because of plot reasons, was Doranelle, the Fae capital city. Maas painted it as a city island of stone and water. The way she stone and the palace was described makes me think a little of how Ahdieh describes the palace in Wrath and the Dawn, while the waterways make me think of a more magical Venice. The monsters and creatures throughout the realm were also pretty cool and seemed to have well-developed lore. In terms of character development, I love Chaol in this one. If you've read my other reviews, you know I'm not the biggest fan of his character or his relationship(s) with other people. However, we get to see him questioning things he knows, questioning what he thinks he knows, and even getting questioned by other people. Dorian flat out calls him out on his beliefs regarding magic and gives one of the best (and I think one of the most quoted) lines of the series: "You cannot get to pick and chose which parts of her to love" (344). Aedion also questions Chaol's beliefs, pointing out that Chaol is avoiding choosing a side and still has a bit of that blind obedience going through him. Both of those instances, combined with some of the other stuff Chaol learns and sees in this book really helps him start to question what the fuck he's been doing these past ten years and the man he's been serving. Chaol actually starts becoming a likable character in this one, despite his lingering prejudices about magic and even some reservations. This is definitely peak Chaol, at least until we reach Tower of Dawn. Another character who goes through a big change is Celaena. She starts of as Celaena, the assassin, and is dragged to see Maeve where, for the first time in the book, she is instead addressed as Aelin, the princess. Rowan, the person assigned to train her, calls her Aelin throughout the book, but you can tell there's a division in her, not just because of the way she feels and acts and what she says, but because of what she calls herself when it's her 'turn' to narrate. Rowan calls her Aelin, but she still calls herself Celaena. There's a lot of rage and desperation and fear in her, from her far- and recent-past, and it runs her. She's obviously depressed for most of the book, something that Maas wrote wonderfully and portrayed as something human and real and painful. That's the mindset she starts in, and we see her descend further into it before rising back up, but it takes a while.

During that time, it's clear she still has some hope, still has some sense that she wants to live for something, again because of her name. Rowan calls her Aelin, she calls herself Celaena, but she has the other demi-Fae living and training at Mistward call her Elentiya, Nehemia's name for 'spirit who cannot be broken.' Names mean something to her (and to the other characters, they are a motif throughout the book that I could probably write an entirely separate review on), and they signal where she is in her journey. From an arc perspective, Aelin struggles and fights and becomes, and by the time the book is over, it really does feel like Celaena and Aelin are two completely separate people. As a bonus, we get a lot of background information about Celaena/Aelin and SO MANY Easter eggs. As a side note, not really related to character development, but this is the first time since ToG when I felt that when Celaena/Aelin got beaten in a fight it was an actual testament of the other person's skill rather than Celaena/Aelin getting watered down a bit (not counting when she was poisoned in the duel w/ Cain). In Blade, we saw her strength and abilities, and then in ToG and CoM, they were kind of a let down and I felt she got beaten too easily, but here it feels more like an even show of power like it would've been in Blade.

I felt Dorian was a more stagnant character during this book. He slowly worked on his powers and tried to hide them, but for the most part he was shut out of the scheming and major events that were occurring in the book. That's not to say he doesn't have an arc, he does, I just think it was mostly set up and completed in the first two books, with this one serving as the conclusion for his Part 1 arc (in terms of development, ToG is pretty evenly split with Part 1 arcs going from ToG to this one and part 2 arcs going from QoS to the end, with both parts serving the overarching Arc for each character). Dorian really feels like he could become king in this one, with the way he talks and the decisions he makes, especially regarding things he doesn't 100% understand or get. Though, to be honest, he's always been the character out of Celaena, Chaol, and him that handles big reveals and twists best. Anyway, his behavior has markedly matured, even when it comes to his romantic relationships. We saw that he was mopey in ToG and even parts of CoM after the whole thing with Celaena went down, and how he was willing to give frivolous gifts, but here we see a shift to him understanding, or at least starting to understand, why certain things occurred the way they did as well as a shift toward him working more seriously when in a romantic relationship. He's also quicker to disavow the king and what he's doing than Chaol is, which is both unexpected and probably difficult. But like I said, these changes are subtle and small compared to the changes in the other characters, which is why I called his arc mostly-stagnant, even if I like his character. Manon is an awesome character. I think I tended to skip her chapters the first time I read this book, but ended up really liking them in Queen, so I started paying attention during my rereads. I think my main issue with her was that she was new and didn't have a connection to the other, already established characters, because she's a really bad ass character. She's an Ironteeth Witch, like Baba Yellowlegs, only she's colder and more hardcore. Manon is brutal and beautiful and dangerous and knows it. More than that, she knows how to use it to her advantage. Every move is about clawing her way up and eventually getting back to the Witchlands (now known as the Western Wastes). Manon has some stunning development in this book, going from cruel and cunning and uncaring to cruel and cunning and caring a little. I like how her relationship and leadership roles within the Thirteen was established, and enjoy the power-house that group is. I also really like her dedication to getting Abraxos up and in the air. In terms of who mirrors Manon, I think it's Abraxos. No one really thinks Manon is the underdog, but their similarities throughout this book and the rest of the series are, I think, probably too many to be coincidental (or they are and it just works out really well). Aedion Ashryver is a fun addition to this book. Cousin to Aelin, he too has been serving the king for the past however-many-years. He's a lot like Aelin, only more male and with a different kind of darkness. Where Aelin's darkness is quick and wicked, Aedion's feels slower and honey-like. Either way, I thought he was a funny character and it was nice to get up close and personal with someone who has been actively working against the king for some time (and who has narration). He can be a bit misguided re: Aelin at times, but his heart's in the right place and it's obvious he not only cares for her but for his country. Can't really say much about character arc here, since I think his comes more in Part 2, but I have really liked his character since the first read-through. Rowan's another good addition, even if I hated him the first time I read the book. He's a mirror to Aelin mentally and developmentally, similar to how Aedion is Aelin's mirror physically. Both Aelin and Rowan are in dark places when they meet and they both have to deal with hauling themselves out of that space during the book. Rowan's brutal, but once Aelin (and we as an audience) warm up to him a little, he's a much better character. He's not the sadistic bastard someone (I think it was Luca) claims him to be, again, once you get to know him, he seems downright playful. He opens up to Aelin and begins his own ascent from darkness, and I think that comes through in the moments when he is playful, when he is caring, when he does look out for the people around him. I think he has the bond with Maeve weighing pretty heavily on him, and I have to wonder if some of his coldness and distance isn't because he doesn't want to get close to someone and have that taken away by Maeve, either directly or indirectly. I also think he's seeing Celaena grow into Aelin and realizing that Maeve is not the kind of person she should be, not the kind of person Rowan really believes in. Some other characters of note include Sorcha, who has a pretty good (and then a pretty bad) twist in her story. I liked her interactions and relationship with Dorian, I thought they were cute together. Emrys is another good one. He's a demi-Fae who works in the kitchens and is the story-teller at Mistward. He proves to be a good friend and ally to Aelin, as well as a god catalyst for Rowan. I wish we got to see more of him and Malakai (his mate) together. Luca was cute, sort of like a chattery younger brother type. The Cadre were intriguing, even if we didn't get much of them. Ren and Murtaugh we met in Crown and we see again here. I like Murtaugh and I like his and Ren's relationship, but I don't like Ren (at least until a bit later). I love the Thirteen and their loyalty, and I can't wait until I can talk about them more in the next review. Overall (obviously), I like the book. I think there's some great character, world, and plot development going on here that incorporates previous things and brings in new ones. I know ToG is a cohesive series, but, as mentioned a bit above, I tend to think of it in parts, and Heir closes out Part 1, both plot-wise and in terms of character development. I think this book rivals Blade for how many hints and clues about future things/events were dropped. So, five years later and it's still my fave.

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wintersxsoul · 6 years

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Fire Meets Gasoline (9)

Summary: You leave your city to start over in your best friend’s town, oblivious to the fact that you have an unexpected roommate. What will happen when fire meets gasoline?

Pairing: Loki x Female!Reader

Word Count: 1.5k-ish?

Warnings: None, my dorks

A/N: hehe

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 / Series Masterlist

Loki was sitting in the middle of the couch, watching every move you made around the living room, nervously. He knew agreeing to watch The Notebook with you was the worst idea ever, but something deep inside him made him say yes. Maybe it was the way you said it, with that particular glint in your eyes he knew too well already or maybe it was his pathetic excuse that you couldn’t watch such a sappy movie alone in your state of mind. Loki was not a fool, but he tried so hard to not admit the truth to himself, which was that he trusted you completely, as much as you trusted him. He knew it was his time to be vulnerable around you, letting you see his real self, open up to you. You took a huge risk letting him see yourself; the vampire freak, the cold one night stand and the heartbroken woman. You barely knew things about his life or his tastes. What you knew, you learned it by yourself, by being an excellent observer. You knew Loki adored black coffee with no sugar in the mornings, he loved Queen with all his bisexual ass, a fact you really had to learn on your fucking own since he used to play it every damn morning. He was always reading, mostly Shakespeare, he was a book editor and worked from home, that’s why no one could never enter his room without his permission.

“Are you gonna take the whole couch or what?” You said while approaching him, the movie started playing in the TV. He moved slowly, his eyes never meeting yours, so you could sit in one extreme and him, on the other, placing the bowl of popcorn in the middle.

As the movie progressed, you realized that Loki was too focused on something else, and since you were no witch, you decided to ask him after 15 minutes more passed.

“What are you thinking about? You don’t like it?” Maybe that was the reason he looked so tense, you forced him to watch it after he told you he’d never seen it before.

“Ryan Gosling is a masterpiece in this movie.” He said after a few minutes in silence, staring at the screen.

“Yeah, he portrays Noah amazingly.” You added, totally thinking he meant his acting.

“Wasn’t talking about that, but go off sis.” You stared at him amused and chuckled, he looked at you and smirked.

You were silent again, immersed in the movie, when you heard Loki whispering something under his breath. You looked at him, thinking that maybe he was complaining about the sappiness of the pier scene, but your eyes widened when you realized he knew the lines, by heart.

“I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year...it wasn't over, it still isn't over!” You burst out laughing, making Loki’s head snap to look at you, fear crossing his eyes.

“I can explain.” He blurted out. You couldn’t stop laughing, the fact that he lied to you telling you he didn’t know the movie when he really knew it, probably by heart. It was a two hour long movie, with a lot of dialogues and long lines, so he must have seen it A LOT to know each word so perfectly.

“I can’t believe you made a fool of me, making me think you are a tough guy with no feelings apart from hatred towards sappy shit. And here you are, quoting Noah Calhoun.” You said pointing at the movie, completely missing the sex scene.

“Look, sorry I lied, but this was exactly why I didn’t want to tell you about it.” Loki stood up but before he could move to leave, you grabbed his hand to stop him. You looked at him and sweetly smiled, understanding him completely.

“Hey, I get it, I do that too. Sorry.” He nodded and sat next to you.

“This movie means a lot to me, it was my mother’s favorite one. We used to watch it all the time.” You could feel his sadness through his trembling voice and it immediately made you feel like an asshole. You reached for his hand and held it in yours, squeezing it, trying to give him comfort.

“She was the one who taught me all I know about literature, art, music and cinema. She was such an angel. I never deserved her.” Loki fought the tears that were threatening to fall, but when he looked into your eyes, he lost it. You were shedding silent tears, feeling the pain of Loki’s words towards his mother.

“You did deserve her Loki, you are...I don’t even know where to start. You are by far, the best thing that’s happened to me this year and I’m so glad I moved in. You are extraordinary.” You hugged him tightly to your chest, his head resting on your shoulder, his breath fanning your neck, sending you shivers down your spine.

You pulled away after a few minutes, holding Loki’s face with your hand so he looked at you.

“You don’t have to pretend with me, you’re my best friend, I would never, ever judge you.” You caressed his jaw with your fingertips and leaned in to plant a kiss on his forehead. Loki stared at you in awe, not sure how to feel about the fact that it was the first time someone showed him this kind of affection, besides his mother, Frigga.

“You are my best friend too, Y/n. I hope you know that.” You nodded, not wanting to say something stupid and ruin the moment.

“Are you sure I can go?” You stuck your head out of the bathroom to ask Loki, who was probably getting dressed to meet his friends.

“Yes, they were the ones who suggested me to invite you actually.”

“So hurry the fuck up.” He added, making you roll your eyes and close the door again to get ready. As you blow dried your hair, you thought about the afternoon you spent with Loki, which was supposed to be a fun sappy afternoon watching The Notebook, but it turned out to be a huge mess. You were happy he finally opened up and showed himself, but you were also worried for all his pent up emotions.

“Loki, do I really have to dress up?” You shouted through the closed door, waiting for him to answer. He opened his door and revealed himself, the sight in front of you made you gasp. He was wearing a black suit, with a black shirt and a black tie. He looked so ethereal and gorgeous with his raven locks slightly slicked back, with some loose strands that framed his sharp pale face.

“You look…”

“Spectacular? Dazzling? Breathtaking? Beautiful?” You rolled your eyes and gave him a bored look.

“...like a witch.” He smirked and nodded ironically, knowing you were going to say something completely different.

“We gotta leave in half an hour, so you better be ready, Y/n.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” You turned around and went to your room to get dressed. You chose a dark green silk-satin wrap gown with a plunging V neckline, spaghetti straps that cross at the low back and a one side slit. You wore golden accessories and a fake black fur coat, and since the dress was floor length, you decided to wear your black combat boots.

You wanted to spend Christmas at home with your parents, but since you were going to start working in a couple of days at the bookshop, it wasn’t worth it to go, plus, you were actually pretty excited to meet Loki’s friends. He invited you because Shay and Bucky really insisted him, since he never stopped talking about you.

You were finishing your makeup when Loki barged in the room, startling you, almost making you drop the lipstick.

“We gotta...go” He was staring at you wide eyed, his mouth slightly opened and his eyes scanning your outfit. Loki couldn’t keep his eyes off you until you shifted awkwardly in the spot and cleared your throat.

“Is it too much? I can change fast.” You said while taking a look at yourself in the mirror. You raised your head to look at him, his eyes already on yours.

“No, you look...ravishing is not even an accurate word.” You shyly smiled at him, your face turning a crimson red. You were used to being complimented, but when it was Loki, yu always felt taken aback with his sincerity.

“I’m just trying to look as good as you.” You rapidly answered, trying to keep it friendly, since that’s all there was.

“You’ve succeeded, then. Should we go?”

Tag list is OPEN

@trashpanda-barnes / @sideeffectsofyou / @madamefresa / @lilypalmer1987 / @gravedollie666 / @sarahivi / @gummiwormsandonedirection / @deamstellarus / @zeilenkrieg / @lokixme / @unicorn-princess-1999 / @look-to-the-stars-and-wish / @speaknowsparkly / @thatchick147 / @idenythis / @hiddlestoner3059 / @deannaraquel/ @fire-in-her-veinz / @youveseen--thebutcher / @tribbles-have-feelings-too / @godhateskyleigh / @calliope-musings / @carydorse / @lokislilslut / @memmucci / @mewlingquimj / @chitaprrrrrrr / @venom-ghoul / @aliebestraum / @mcdesij / @justmesadgirl / @valkyrienikolea / @alexakeyloveloki / @perceptorxbrainstorm / @hisxblackxqueen / @amandatar-06 / @hamsa-mage

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uglypastels · 6 years

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Writing Challenge!!

Writing challenges are always so fun to do, so I decided to make one myself for a change. It’s also almost (not really) my birthday and I want to celebrate!!

It’s that time of the year again where it is cold outside, the leaves are falling off the trees, you just want to curl up under a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and watch a movie... Or is that just me?

Anyway, I love watching a good movie, or even a bad one sometimes.

This is why in this challenge, all prompts are quotes from movies!

Rules are pretty basic, I’m not fussy about anything. (prompts > “Keep Reading”)

You don’t have to be following me, but it would be nice of you, of course, if you did

Reblog this post to join and/or spread the word

Send me an ask wherein you choose a prompt

Make sure you have a possible back-up if the said prompt is already taken

Preferably, I would like to have one story per prompt, but just in case anyone is really set on a prompt that has already been chosen, or if somehow by miracle every prompt is picked and more people want to join, each prompt will have two slots. (so one regular, one “emergency” slot)

All prompts are movie quotes, but your story doesn’t have to be based on the movie itself or have anything to do with the movie. Interpret the quote any way you want.

BE ORIGINAL!

BE CREATIVE!

HAVE FUN!

I would like to call myself a multifandom blog, but who am I kidding. I’m MARVEL’s bitch.

Write about any MARVEL character/ actor (+ the Hollands/Harrison) you want but

if you want to do a different fandom, you are more than welcome!

Just don’t forget to tell me in your prompt request who you will be writing for.

Fluff, angst, smut ... everything is allowed - just make sure to tag it.

NO UNDERAGE SMUT! Just don’t be gross, in general

No, first person, but other perspectives are good to go

Any length of writing is good, but if it is longer than 500 words, make sure to use the “Keep Reading” option.

so the story can be a one-shot, two shot, a series < including a part of a series you already have going on.

When you post it, make sure to tag me and use the tag:

#Z’s Movie Night Challenge

FOR AN EXTRA CHALLENGE (or if you just can’t pick): hmu with an ask telling me and I will pick for you! But do still mention who you will be writing for then.

Deadline is my birthday - December 18th!

I will be making a masterlist of all the submissions

I think that’s it. Any more question? DM me or ask

(way too many) Prompts, but at least nobody can complain there is nothing to chose from:

“I love you.” // “I know.” Star Wars, Episode V: Empire Strikes Back (@andwhatdostarsdobest w/ Tom Holland)

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Gone With the Wind ( @procrastinatingparker w/ Tom Holland)

“After all, tomorrow is another day!” Gone With the Wind

“Go ahead, make my day.” Sudden Impact

“Here’s looking at you, kid,” Casablanca

“I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.” Casablanca

“Of all the (gin joints) in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” Casablanca ( @butwhyduh w/ Avengers cast)

“We’ll always have Paris.” Casablanca

“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.” the Godfather

“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” the Godfather: Part II ( @sunsetspidey w/ Tom Holland)

“Just when I thought I was out, (they) pull me back in.” Godfather: Part III ( @sleepwalkingdragon w/ Harrison Osterfield on hold)

“You talkin’ to me?” Taxi Driver

“Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.” All About Eve

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story ( @rainbow-marvel w/ Tom Holland)

“Forget everything you think you know.” Doctor Strange

“Pain is an old friend.” Doctor Strange ( @theamazingspiderlingg w/ Tom Holland)

“What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.” Cool Hand Luke ( @scholarlyspidey )

“What is it?” // “The stuff that dreams are made off.΅ the Maltese Falcon

“Alright, (Mr. DeMille), I’m ready for my close-up.” Sunset Boulevard

“There is no place like home.” Wizard of Oz ( @peterrrparkour w/ Tom Holland)

“I love the smell of (napalm) in the morning.” Apocalypse Now

“Show me the money!” Jerry Maguire

“You had me at ‘hello’.” Jerry Maguire ( @anxiety-in-a-getaway-car w/ Sebastian Stan)

“You complete me.” Jerry Maguire

“Why don’t you come up sometime and see me?” She Done Him Wrong

“Hey, I’m walking here!” Midnight Cowboy

“I want to be alone.” Grand Hotel ( @aw-hawkeye w/ Tom Holland)

“You can’t handle the truth!” A Few Good Men

“I’ll have what she’s having.” When Harry Met Sally ( @sleepwalkingdragon w/ Harrison Osterfield)

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." When Harry Met Sally (@somethingtoavenge w/ Bucky Barnes)

“I’ll be back.” Terminator

“Hasta la vista, baby.” Terminator 2: Judgement Day.

“Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.” The Pride of the Yankees

“We rob banks.” Bonnie and Clyde

“Well, nobody’s perfect.” Some Like it Hot

“Houston, we have a problem.” Apollo 13

“I could do this all day.” Captain America: The First Avenger/ Civil War

“We’re still friends, right?” Captain America: Civil War ( @starksparker w/ Tom Holland)

“Have you been playing Space Invaders? Because you’re invading my space!” Pixels ( @cas-backwards-tie w/ Peter Parker)

“Well, a boy’s best friend is his mother.” Psycho

“Well here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!” Sons of the Desert

“Say hello to my little friend.” Scarface

“(Mrs. Robinson) You’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?” the Graduate

“What a dump.” Beyond the Forest

“Is it safe?” Marathon Man

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet!" the Jazz Singer

“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” A Streetcar Named Desire

“Hello, gorgeous.” Funny Girl

“Surely you can’t be serious?” // “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.” Airplane!

“My precious.” Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

"Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it? You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!" On Golden Pond ( @musiclover1263 w/ Peter Parker)

"Carpe diem. Seize the day(, boys). Make your live(s) extraordinary." Dead Poet Society.

“I’m the king of the world!” Titanic

“I’ll never let go, (Jack).” Titanic ( @spider-puck w/ Spideychelle)

“You make me want to be a better man.” As Good as it Gets ( @thewackywriter w/ mob!Tom Holland)

“As if!” Clueless ( @fratboievans w/ Peter Parker)

“They’re here!” Poltergeist

“We know each other. He’s a friend from work.” Thor: Ragnarok

“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! (This is the War Room.)” Dr. Strangelove

“I wish I knew how to quit you!” Brokeback Mountain ( @petersshirts w/ Tom Holland)

“I’m not bad. I’m just (drawn) that way.” Who Framed Roger Rabbit (@lovelymalira w/ Bucky Barnes)

“Why so serious?” the Dark Knight

“Magic Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest one of all.” Snow White and the Seven Dwarves ( @thequeensardine w/ Harrison Osterfield)

“.... I dare you. I double dare you.” Pulp Fiction ( @hollandofthefree w/ Tom Holland)

“Look I probably should have told you this before but you see... well... insanity runs in my family... It practically gallops.” Arsenic and Old Lace

“It’s just a flesh wound.” Monty Python and the Holy Grail ( @sarahwritesfiction w/ Steve Rogers)

“He might be okay….Well, no, probably not now.” Groundhog Day

“Life’s a bitch; now so am I.” Batman Returns ( @idontknowhowtowritesosorry w/ Shawn Mendes)

“That rug really tied to room together, did it not?” The Big Lebowski

“No, it’s a cardigan, but thanks for noticing.” Dumb and Dumber

“Is that all he said?” Lost in Translation

“Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler.” Office Space ( @totallytomholland w/ Peter Parker)

“You wanna come over?” // “No, thanks. I don’t want you fucking up my life, too.” Office Space (@mobtomsgirl w/ Tom Holland)

“Okay, sounds like a case of the Mondays.” Office Space

“And suddenly, I felt nothing.” Fight Club ( @brokennccrown w/ Steve Rogers)

“You can tell a lot about a person by what’s on their playlist.” Begin Again

“(Veronica), you look like hell.” // “Yeah, I just got back.” Heathers ( @peter-is-the-best-avenger w/ Peter Parker or Tom Holland)

“Lick it up, baby. Lick it up.” Heathers

“But… I guess if I love you, I should let you move on.” 17 Again

“I want my life to be like an 80’s movie.” Easy A

“What makes life so hard?” // “People.” An Affair to Remember

“Have you ever been in love?” // “I think so.” Love, Simon (@fandomscombine w/ Peter Parker)

“I don’t wanna go.” Avengers: Infinity War (@fantasyizlife w/ Tom Holland)

“I don’t want another single pop culture reference out of you for the rest of the trip. You understand?” Avengers: Infinity War

“I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.” Guardians of the Galaxy ( @fantasyizlife w/ Shawn Mendes)

“You actually were telling the truth?” // “I do that quite a lot, yet people are always surprised.” Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest ( @fantasyizlife w/ Harrison Osterfield)

“I have what they call an unattractive face.” Gainsbourg: A Heroic Life

“Oh, somebody, stop me!” The Mask

“I didn’t come here to tell you I can’t live without you. I can live without you. I just don’t want to.” Rumor Has It ( @marcymakemagic w/ Peter Parker)

“Are you always this cocky?” // “Only on Tuesdays… and whenever beautiful women are involved.” // “So, you think I’m beautiful?” // “Actually… it’s Tuesday.” the Three Musketeers ( @tomhollanders2013 w/ Tom Holland)

“I’m going to be a lady if it kills me.” Dinner at Eight

“Prove it…” Shane

“I’m sorry, (Dave). I’m afraid I can’t do that.” 2001: A Space Odyssey

“Kiss my hot lips.” M*A*S*H*

“You have my sympathies.” Alien

“Get away from her, (you bitch)!” Aliens

“You can be my wingman anytime.” Top Gun

“Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight?” Batman

“Love your suit.” The silence of the Lambs

“Quid pro quo.” (= A favor for a favor) The Silence of the Lambs

“Always.” Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II ( @peter-parker-life w/ Tom Holland)

Good luck, have fun!

Tagging some peeps to spread the word because this is one thing I don’t want to die:

@tomhiddleston-is-myboo @tonyintexas @andwhatdostarsdobest @tomsfireheart @spinneret-holland @rainbow-marvel @lovelyh0lland @de-lir-i-ous @peter-parker-life @tomhollanders2013 @tomhollandthirst @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @darlingtholland @sweet-pea-imagines @anxiety-in-a-getaway-car @manhoeparker @h-osterfield @positiveparker @casuallytumblingdownthestairs @justmesadgirl @fandomscombine @tom-holland-and-textposts @my-current-obsessions-hehe (Sorry to bother anyone.)

#Z's Movie Night Challenge #writing challenge #my challenge #uglypastels #fanfiction #imagine #imagines #smut #fanfic #fanfics #writing #tom holland fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #any fanfiction really

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jadeargents · 5 years

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ig live — getting ready with me.

Checking if she was live, Jade smiled towards the camera as she raised her hand for a moment. “Hi everyone. Sorry for not announcing this live beforehand, but I didn’t know I was doing this until like five minutes ago. I’m getting ready to go out and I thought it would be a good idea to talk with you and answer some questions while I’m doing that.” She looked through her make up bag, taking only a moment of searching before she found the foundation. “I’ve already applied the primer, I’m gonna do foundation now. You can go ahead and ask anything you wanna know, as long as it’s not too personal.”

“How are you?” She read, a smile appearing on her features. “That’s nice of you to ask that first. I’m great, honestly. Living my best life. I’m writing a lot of songs, spending time with some of my favorite people, being on tour and singing my music... can’t imagine a better life right now.” Looking in the mirror she began applying the foundation, though she paused immediately after. “Disclaimer, I’m not a make up artist. I don’t know if I’m doing this the right way, I’m just mirroring what I’ve seen my own make up artist do.” Continuing, she didn’t say anything else until she finished the coverage.

“Moving onto concealer now,” she stated as she opened the liquid concealer and applied a few lines under her eyes. She then turned towards her phone to read the next question. “What songs have I been obsessed with lately? Hold on.” Grabbing her computer, she opened her most recent Spotify playlist. “Bloodline by Denise is my fucking jam, she’s incredible. The entire album is great, honestly. Don’t Worry ‘Bout Me by Luana is also a favorite.” Seeing some of Julian’s songs on there, she decided it was time to close the playlist. She had given them enough reasons to believe they’re together without saying one of her favorite songs is a song that was written about her. “There’s a lot of them I like. I can make a playlist if you guys are interested.” She finished dabbing the concealer then moved onto the next question.

“Have I written a song with anyone lately?” Choosing a light pink blush for her next move, she selected the right brush from her set and lightly applied the make up over her cheekbones at the same time as she replied. “I’ve written a song with Ofelia, and another one with Chasity and they’ll both be released eventually, in case you’re wondering.” She didn’t mention the other person she’s been writing songs with, since she knew they wouldn’t let it go for the rest of the live if she did.

“Twitter or Instagram?” An uncomfortable smile appeared on her lips. “You don’t want my answer to that, I’m going to be mean.” Closing her blush, she looked towards the camera. “In all honesty, I prefer actual human interaction. Social media is great for interacting with fans, but it’s not my favorite. That’s why I’ve been distancing myself from Twitter lately. I’ve just found I feel much better when I prioritize spending time with people and limit the time I spend on my phone. If there’s a piece of advice you should take from me, it’s that one.”

Grabbing her highlighter, she looked towards her phone again to read the next question before focusing on the makeup. “Would I accept acting in a film?” Jade shrugged her shoulders. “I'm not sure. Depends if the film meant a lot to me. I would definitely have to take some acting classes before that, but why not?” She stopped applying her highlighter, setting down her brush for a moment. “Though I have to point out I wouldn’t push my singing career aside. Music is the priority, no matter what else is there.” Once she finished with that step, she chose a palette of gold tones and continued with the eyeshadow.

“What do I think about what headlines are saying about me?” She huffed, shaking her head subtly. She was staring in the mirror as she applied her eyeshadow, but that didn’t last long because she couldn’t prevent herself from staring at the camera as she voiced her thoughts. “Frankly, I don’t give a fuck. You can quote me on that. I’m living my life and I’m being myself, and if that bothers anyone, it’s not my problem. I’m happy where I am right now and I’m not going to let anything ruin that for me.”

Reading the comments she received after her statement, her hand instinctively went to her chest, showcasing a mix of emotions on her expression. “I’m truly touched by your support, guys.” A smile appeared on her lips as she went back to adding the finishing touches to her eyeshadow. “Though I have to say you’re making me laugh with your reactions to me saying I’m happy. I didn’t think that was possible either, but what do you know? Maybe life doesn’t have a personal vendetta against me after all. Maybe I should’ve just been more patient, but well, I trust that everything happens for a reason. I’m thankful for the state of mind I’m in right now, and that’s all that counts.”

“Where’s Julian? How would I know?” A chuckle left her lips, as she began applying her eyeliner. “I don’t track him. That’s not a healthy…” she stopped, looking straight at the camera with an amused smile, “… friendship.” She continued tracing her eyeliner as if she hadn’t said anything out of common, that made the comments on her phone suddenly increase. She didn’t say anything as she waited for them to calm down, so she could go back to answering questions.

“What’s the last movie I’ve seen?” She stopped for a moment, looking towards the ceiling as she was thinking. A smile appeared on her lips as she remembered. “Funny enough, it was with Julian. We watched “The Nun” at an open air cinema event in London.” Jade read the comments, a disbelieving smile on her lips, then responded to them as she put on mascara. “Bold of you guys to assume I need someone to hold me during horror movies. I’m not afraid of them. Or anything for that matter. I’m pretty much fearless.” Except emotions, but she wouldn’t mention that. She wouldn’t tell them that she did spend that night in Julian’s arms, not because she was afraid, but because she liked being close to him.

Applying red lipstick, she then looked towards her comments. A huff left her lips as her eyes read the question. They were unbelievable. “Am I meeting Julian? Yes, I am,” she said, “I am also meeting Luana and Chasity, that doesn’t change that I’m putting on make up for myself, not for him, or anyone else I’m seeing today.” She sighed, putting her make up bag aside to look straight at the camera. “I think we’ve covered enough the subject that women do not dress or put on make up for men for you to stop insinuating at this point. You can do better.”

“You know, I should have a feminist podcast,” she said, looking through her comments and expecting to see a lot of negativity, yet that wasn’t the case. They were all encouraging and excited which kind of made her feel bad for getting their hopes up. “That was a joke. Sorry, I would, but I literally don’t know how that would fit into my schedule,” she responded, shaking her head softly with an apologetic smile. “Besides, I think I’d get too frustrated with the issues discussed and that’s not an advantage when the purpose is getting educated. You should be taught about feminism from someone who has patience, meanwhile I’m gonna keep ranting about these problems on Instagram and Twitter.” She ended her explanation with a smile, feeling much more calm when explaining herself.

“What’s my favorite shade of lipstick? The one I’m wearing right now, actually.” Inspecting what the label was saying, she then approached the lipstick to the camera. “It’s the Fenty Beauty Mattemoiselle Plush Matte Lipstick, in the shade of Royal Red, called Madamn.”

She removed the accessory that was holding most of her hair back. “What do I have planned for the future career wise?” She smiled as she began styling strands of her hair into waves. “I’m glad you specified what future you mean, because personal life future, I couldn’t have told you.” Realizing what she just said, she closed her eyes for a second, breathing in. She should be more careful with the way she worded things. “Because I don’t know what the future has reserved for me in that aspect, not because there’s a particular event that would happen in the future.” The last thing she needed was people sending videos of her to Julian asking him if he proposed or asking him when they were getting married. “Anyway, back to the question. I can’t tell too much, but I’m preparing for the European leg for All The Stars World Tour as you know. I’m also writing a lot, and I’ve already filmed the first two music videos for the fourth album. I can’t reveal anything about the release date right now, but you know, I’ll keep you posted.”

Once she finished with the hair, she attached it in a way that it wasn’t standing in her face, but still was cascading down her back. “Last question,” she announced as she looked through the comments until she found a good one. “What was my favorite concert I’ve performed during this tour?” There was no hesitation there, a genuine smile appearing on her lips. “New York City.” There was no doubt why. Julian was at her concert that night, and having him backstage when they hadn’t seen each other in more than a month made her feel so happy. However, she needed to divert the fans’ attention from that. “New York is one of my favorite cities, and the energy there is just incredible.” She wasn’t lying, but there were other cities where she performed that were memorable too — New York stood out because of her significant other being there. She smiled as she thought about how in love she was. It wasn’t getting less surreal with time.

“Thanks for keeping me company as I was getting ready. I’ll keep you updated on my outfit later when I’ll post a photo. Hope the rest of your day will be good. Take care.”

#self para.

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clairen45 · 6 years

Text

Digging into Rey and Kylo’s Spotify Playlists- part 1: episode 7 songs

The Shut Up and Dance with Me post really pushed me to go through the songs from the Spotify playlists and give you the lowdown, as I see it. That these lists even exist is beyond me! And, just to be clear, these lists have been released in 2015 pre-TFA. With no modification, even pre or post TLJ. No added material. If anything, they actually removed some songs from the lists: 2 for Kylo and 3 for Rey. I don’t think the changes necessarily meant that the songs were too revealing or, on the contrary, didn’t fit the characters anymore. It might just be copyright or legal issue or some artistic differences or god knows what. But again, the point of these lists were to get to know the characters a little better. Some characters we already knew of course, the big three ( Luke, Leia, Han Solo), but also Obi-Wan and Yoda, a list for Anakin and a list for Vader, Padmé, Mace Windu, Bobba Fett, Chewbacca... Lists for new characters: Finn, BB8... surprisingly no Poe Dameron. By the way, I think the Dark Side’ list is super interesting! And of course Rey and Kylo. Rey’s list is full of pop, girl empowerment anthem kind of songs, with a few romantic ballads, which already meant something. Kylo’s is of course full of angsty rock. I don’t want to comment on the genre. My mission was less on the musical genres than on the lyrics and how they can shed some light on the characters and their fates. Because, sure, a team chose these songs to let us know about the characters but, honestly, guys, I think somebody let them in on the rough draft of the whole ST. Because post TLJ it is obvious that a lot of songs apply to what happened as far as Rey and Kylo are concerned in this movie. And since we have our bunch of ep 7 songs, and a bunch of ep 8 songs, well, it appears a bunch of songs don’t fit either and could very well give us key information about ep 9. Before I get accused again of “reaching” (LOL), let us be honest: I think they put a lot of care into those playlists. So no, I don’t think coincidences are accidental. And yes, I think it’s fair to speculate about episode 9 looking at the songs. So let’s take the journey and crack these songs together.

There are 53 songs for Kylo (I am excluding the original soundtrack every time) and 54 for Rey. Rey’s playlist also has tunes in common with Padmé, Leia, and Luke. 4 songs in common with Padmé, quite a lot: Smoke and Fire, Rich Girl, Fighter, and Bulletproof. With Leia: Smoke and Fire, and the fact that they both have Love is a Battlefield, except that Leia is Pat Benatar’s song, and Rey’s is Jordin Spark’s song. Same title, different songs. This marks Rey as the “heiress” to these two heroines, which is not surprising. I think it is quite remarkable that she shares so many songs with Padmé, as regards the Anidala inversion we always talk about. Rich Girl, in particular, because Padmé was a Queen, so yes, the rich girl, whereas in Rey’s case the song is ironic. Rey also shares 2 song with Luke: Wild by Troye Sivan (I honestly don’t get what this song does on Luke’s playlist, so that must mean something potentially), and Adventure of a Lifetime. With Luke as a mentor to Rey in ep 8, that would kind of make sense that they would share something. I honestly merely skimmed through all the playlists, but Rey and Kylo seem to be the only one who share songs with other characters (if I am wrong, please correct me). Kylo shares 3 songs, 1 with Anakin (and NOT Vader), Bored to Death, 1 with BB8, Destroy the Map, and one with Mace Windu on You want a Battle (Here’s War). Interesting also. I won’t necessarily comment on that today, because there is a lot to go through, but these are thoughts to save and process later maybe.

Some songs can also fit two, maybe the three, episodes. And also, I have noticed something very interesting in Rey’s playlist: a lot of songs that feature in her playlist seem to be more from Kylo’s POV (like Shut up and Dance). They should normally feature on his list but because they would break away from the others in terms of genre, it is probably how they ended on Rey’s list. I found on Kylo’s playlist 1 song that, to me, should rather feature on Rey’s list, but again, would seem odd in terms of genre.

1.KYLO’S LIST/ EPISODE 7

Kylo’s list also seems way more descriptive about his character, angst, inner conflict, feelings of pain and revenge, than Rey’s list. There is a lot of songs talking about past abuse and family conflict. Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson is a good example: “ Some of them want to use you/ Some of them want to get used by you/ Some of them want to abuse you/ Some of them want to be abused”. References to dreams and nightmares in Kylo’s playlist are also quite noteworthy because they tie in with Rey’s visions as described in TFA: she hears voices in her dreams, and when she first sees Kylo, she knows that she has seen him before “in a dream, in a nightmare”. We can also find some parallels with the plot in episode 7: the Jakku massacre, meeting Rey, killing Han... Recurring themes are, without surprise, fire, death, suffering, dreams and nightmares...

This Means War (Avenged Sevendold). That song is packed with so much about his feelings and his introduction in the ST. It goes on and on really. I could quote the whole thing. But here are the highlights :

Hide my face again, harbor in the shadows (duh!) Feel this weight of sin hammering away Die, with the guilt of a thousand AWOL soldiers (The pull to the light) Die, watch the scythe usher me astray (Lor San Tekka’s execution)

The ugly side of me is strong

Carry me to nowhere (Jakku is nowhere!) Lie!Mask the pain Of a child who's forsaken Lie! To myself Praise the new regime (honestly, did they write the song for Kylo?)

I left me long ago Reasons you'll never know No one to miss me when I'm gone With no more words to say No argument to stay. Another post I don't belong (Lor San Tekka: The First Order rose from the dark side. You did not)

No home to call my own No finding someone new No one to break the fall No one to see me through No name to carry on No promise for today No one to hear the call (Oh hon, hang on, the girl is coming!) Buy into the fear (Rey: You are afraid!) My serpent blood can strike so cold (Murderous snake! again) Another thought I can't control (Force bond much?)

Elements of TFA Plot:

Legion of Evil (OFF): “Break down houses”, “ Mystery crews on a murderous spree” (the opening on Jakku, with his mysterious identity) but also “Retaliation against horrible gods/Treasonous snakes with gentlemen's lies/ Waving a false flag to sell the deception” which of course are reminiscent of his line to Rey about the Resistance: “ You mean the murderers traitors and thieves you call your friends ? “. But can also ironically evoke Snoke’s influence on him: he is the treasonous snake with gentlemen’s lies. Or even to him as seen from Rey’s POV in 7 and at the beginning of TLJ: “a treasonous snake”/ “murderous snake”/ “liar”...

The Red (Chevelle) and Evil Eye (Franz Ferdinand), both emphasize the color red, which is Kylo’s color theme.Thunder and Lightning (Motorhead”, “ Maybe you'll die, maybe you'll fly/ Fire in the sky, thunder and lightning”. Heart of Fire (Black Veil Brides): “ I feel alive inside I won't be terrorized, I'll take all the blame/This heart of fire is burning proud/ I am every dream you lost and never found/ This heart of fire is stronger now”. Also the attack on Jakku.

The Map plot: R2 where are U (Flying Lotus): it takes both BB8 and R2 to find Luke’s hideout. This song is also on BB8′s list by the way. Destroy the Map (36 Crazy Fists). Obviously the title is interesting because Kylo gives up on the map and gets Rey instead. The song presents some other interesting points: something that could evoke Starkiller base “ And the clouds don't break when the sun is on empty” , and also something that seems to fit straight into TLJ: “You couldn't hold your mouth to stop the sound/ With all these riches on the tip of your tongue/And I was trying to dampen it all out/You were talking louder than I should here/Producing nothing but all these mirrors”, “ Where the baptized drown/We used to breathe” (Rey in the cave) “This time, our time, we have, we'll last”. So gain some songs can actually fit more than 1 episode.

Failing on Starkiller: beaten up by Rey, never got the intel about Luke... At least I’m known for something (New Found Glory): “ I've figured out my situation/ I am an endless source of useless information/ Give me bad news could be something expecting/ I let my front down/ And I know I will regret it/ /But you don't know that and I'm the one to blame for it/'Cause I'm destined for failure“. More Starkiller: My own Summer (Deftones): “ Hey you, big star/ Tell me when it's over”.

Family and Han:

Refusing his legacy. War on the Palaces (Refused):

I carry history with me I carry hope (I see you Ben You are My Only Hope Solo!!!!) All the nameless faces before us Let's carry them all

I wanna carry the dead (his attachment for Vader instead of the living members of his family) Wage war on the palaces

Bored to Death (Blink 182): “ And it's a long way back from seventeen/The whispers turn into a scream/And I'm, I'm not coming home/Save your breath, I'm nearly/ Bored to death”. Mene (Brand New): “ My father spoke of prophecy/ To think that I believed is self-centered of me/There was something I was trying to say/ But then I choked on it and now it's getting kind of late” (@madandmisquoted did a meta on how Kylo mumbles “I love you dad”+ “It is too late”). Indestructible (Rancid): “ It's so fake now, everything I see right through/I'm ashamed now to say I ever know you” evoke his scene with Han. I don’t wanna Hear It (Minor Threat): “ I don't want to hear it/ I'm sick and tired of all your lies/ I don't want to hear it/ When are you gonna realize.”. Family and mommy issues: Down With the Sickness (Disturbed): “ It seems what's left of my human side/ Is slowly changing in me”, “ It seems you're having some trouble/ In dealing with these changes/ Living with these changes / The world is a scary place/ Now that you've woken up the demon in me”, “ No mommy, don't do it again/Don't do it again/ I'll be a good boy/I'll be a good boy, I promise No mommy don't hit me/ Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?”.

Conflict

Got the Life (Korn): “Hate, something, someway, each day, dealing with no forgiveness/ Why? This shit inside/ Now everyone will follow/ So give me nothing just feel/ And now this shit will follow/ God begs me, the more I see the light, who wants to see?”. Strife (Trivium): “ I reach for calm/ I starve for a balance unknown/ This burden tortures me deep in my soul” ; “ Guilt buries me alive/ In a coffin criticized/ I shouldered the blame and dug this hole for me to lay in”. Duality (Slipknot). The title says it all, but it definitely applies to the scene with Han: “ You cannot kill what you did not create”; “Pull me back together/ Or separate the skin from the bone/ Leave me all the pieces, and then you can leave me alone” (Can apply to “I’m feeling torn apart”, “I killed your son, he was foolish and weak” ).

The Girl

I know that’s what you’ve been waiting for. There are 2 major songs about Rey in that list and one them has been removed, A Cross and a Girl Named Bless (Evans Blue). That song presents some elements that stretch all the way to 9. I’m including it here, because of the obvious reference to the way they meet on Takodana:

She's holding out for weapons to kill the ghosts inside (She shoots at a ghostlike figure in the forest)

Or at least kill the thoughts she has of killing her mind (Get out of my head!)

She says "I love you" with her hands (TLJ: Smut Hut)

She says "I hate you" with her eyes (You have that look from the forest..)

There's a pretty girl somewhere with a pretty name (What girl?)

But I could never let you know how much this means I swear we'll end this war, because we both know

It wasn't worth fighting for (Major episode IX spoiler)

She, she said to me I will be driving in the wrong direction Did you ever think that maybe your life

Is heading in the wrong direction, baby? (Throne Room Scene)

There's a cross up on the wall See from the corner of your eye When you're down on you knees...and she's begging please So go and lay back down tonight Because you won't know who you are

Until you're down on your knees...your begging please (End of TLJ, Crait)

The other big song is The Answer (Savages):

Wish me luck This was a hard year And I can't see No brighter future Wish me luck I saw the answer It was a girl (What girl?) Will you go ask her (Interrogation scene, the girl is all we need) I saw the answer Will you go ask her Love is the answer

Evil (Interpol): “ Heaven restores you in life/ You're coming with me/ Through the aging, the fearing, the strife/ It's the smiling on the package/ It's the faces in the sand” (the abduction, Rey is literally a face in the sand, the smile...), “You're weightless, semi-erotic/ You need someone to take you there/Sandy, why can't we look the other way?/Why can't we just play the other game?” (he carries her in his arms like a feather, You need a teacher!).

There is also a song there that is all about Rey’s POV on Kylo in TFA. Headstrong (Trapt) screams Rey during the interrogation scene. But, again, they couldn’t have put it on her playlist so it features on his instead.

Circling your head contemplating everything you ever said (getting in HIS head) Now I see the truth I got a doubt (You... are afraid you will never be as trong as Darth Vader!) A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out (escapes the interrogation room) See you later I see your fantasies You wanna make it a reality baby paved in gold See inside, inside of our heads yeah Well now that's over

Back off I'll take you on (Forest duel) Headstrong to take on anyone (Come on, that is SO Rey!) I know that you are wrong Headstrong we're Headstrong Back off I'll take you on Headstrong to take on anyone I know that you are wrong This is not where you belong (Trying to turn him in 8)

I can't give everything away (I won’t give you anything!) I won't give everything away

2.REY’S PLAYLIST/EPISODE 7

JAKKU

There are songs about Rey’s life conditions on Jakku. Poverty in Rich Girl (Gwen Stefani): “ If I was a rich girl/ See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl/ No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end/ Cause I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl”. Of course the morale of the song is “All the riches in the world don’t mean anything without your love”. To remind us that if Rey has dreams it’s mostly about finding love and belonging. Interesting that she shares this song with Padmé who had the riches + the love and still didn’t get her happy ever after, but more on that later...

New Americana (Halsey) about survival of the fittest, the daily struggle of poverty, social divide. That one is also interesting because of its reference to James Dean: “ Young James Dean, some say/ He looks just like his father”. There is also the big reveal about Kylo being Han’s son. I think it’s probably how they first imagined Kylo, as a hypersensitive, rebellious, angsty youth, a character from East of Eden (another reference to Eden). The character played by James Dean, in Elia Kazan’s adaptation of Steinbeck’s famous novel, is Cal, a rebellious son who believes his father does not love him and sees him as evil incarnate. Kylo much?

Daylight (Matt and Kim) can also be about home and Jakku: “I miss yellow lines in my roads/ Some color on monochrone”, ‘Cause the daylight anywhere feels like home”. In TFA she wants to go back to Jakku. Rey is also used to having to fight for her survival: “ Murder lives forever/And so does war/ It's survival of the fittest/ Rich against the poor/ At the end of the day/ It's a human trait/ Hidden deep down inside of our DNA”.

Some songs talk about Rey’s dreams and her feelings of loneliness.Chandelier (Sia): “I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist/ Like it doesn't exist/ I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night,/ Feel my tears as they dry”. How she lives on a day to day basis and feels lonely all the time. Wake Me Up (Avicii):

Feeling my way through the darkness Guided by a beating heart I can't tell where the journey will end But I know where to start They tell me I'm too young to understand They say I'm caught up in a dream Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes Well that's fine by me (stuck waiting on Jakku)

So wake me up when it's all over When I'm wiser and I'm older All this time I was finding myself And I didn't know I was lost

I tried carrying the weight of the world (Literally her job as a scavenger) But I only have two hands I hope I get the chance to travel the world And I don't have any plans I wish that I could stay forever this young Not afraid to close my eyes Life's a game made for everyone And love is a prize

THE FIGHTER

Of course songs about Rey, the independent girl, the fighter... Fighter (Christina Aguilera): “ 'Cause it makes me that much stronger/ Makes me work a little bit harder/ It makes me that much wiser/ So thanks for making me a fighter/ Made me learn a little bit faster/ Made my skin a little bit thicker/ Makes me that much smarter/ So thanks for making me a fighter”. Another song shared with Padmé. I know the song is about a guy that cheated on the girl and lied to her, but rather than about Kylo, this song can apply to a lot of people in Rey’s life: her parents, Unkar Plutt, and all the people she’s had to deal with since childhood. There is Run the World (Beyoncé) that could also be foreshadowing for episode ix. Kelly Clarkson’s Miss Independent, with the perfect title for Rey’s episode 7, but the message about love in this song actually fits better episode 8. Roar (Katy Perry): empowerment anthem, plus Rey looks like a lioness at the end of TFA, baring her teeth and snarling at Kylo. Possibly Piece of Me (Britney Spears).

Confident (Demi Lovato) fits well with Roar. That one screams end of TFA with beating Kylo down.

It's time for me to take it I'm the boss right now Not gonna fake it Not when you go down 'Cause this is my game And you better come to play

I used to hold my freak back

Now I'm letting go

I make my own choice (accepting the saber)

Bitch, I run this show So leave the lights on No, you can't make me behave

So you say I'm complicated

That I must be outta my mind But you had me underrated Rated, rated

What's wrong with being, what's wrong with being

What's wrong with being confident?

There is the teaser song about Rey’s origin. That’s Not my Name (The Ting Things). Well, in TFA everybody is asking about her identity, about “the girl”, wo that would make sense to have this song. Rey might not even be her name after all, though she is old enough when her parents sell her to remember it; Does it mean we will l get a new name in ix? Maybe. Or just Rey Solo. I think the song is really there for the fun about the possible identity of Rey...

THE ESCAPE

Songs about Rey leaving Jakku and becoming a pilot. Obviously: Starships (Nicki Minaj) because “starships are meant to fly”. Boom Boom Pow (The BEP): “ I'm on that supersonic boom/ Y'all hear the spaceship zoom”. Alive Tonight (Grace Potter), for these lines: “In the dark of the desert/ I saw a man with a sign, it said/ People get ready, 'cause it's all over/ It's all gonna end tonight, well” ( On Jakku, Lor San Tekka is the man with the intel about Luke promising that “this will begin to make things right”, and eventually this sign gets to Rey through BB8 at dusk in the desert). I also like these lines: “ You wanna get in on the action, you want/ Everyone to listen to you, oh/ You're just living in a prediction/ And that don't, that don't make it true, no” which fits the fact that things will not be as simple as Rey thinks. Also about the end of Rey’s time on Jakku, The Dog Days are Over (Florence+ the Machines): “The dog days are over/The dog days are done/ The horses are coming so you better run”. These lines are great: “Leave all your love and your longing behind you/ Can't carry it with you if you want to survive”, about giving up on Jakku and close to Maz’s line about “the belonging you seek is not behind you”.

MEETING KYLO

Now, with songs that reflect on meeting Kylo... There is Gibberish (Max): “ But then I caught you creepin'/ Secrets that you were keepin”, which could fit the interrogation scene. Or the title could just refer to the fact that Rey seems to understand every language she meets (BB8, Chewie...). LOL. Obviously, the beautiful Yes Girl (Bea Miller):

I got you figured out, you need to have control You think that I don't know you, I know you, I know Trying to tell you now, I've been doing what you want But I won't be your yes girl, no, not anymore

And these even better lines: “ And now you're my favorite sin, oh/ Cause I'm either on your side or you're a mile away” (which fits TLJ better). There is Focus (Ariana Grande): “ I can tell you're curious/ It's written on your lips/ Ain't no need to hold it back/ Go ahead and talk your shit/ I know you're hoping that I'll react/ I know you're hoping I'm looking back/ But if my real ain't real enough/ Then I don't know what is” (again, mood for the interrogation scene). Also like that line: “ Let's find a light inside our universe now/ Where ain't nobody keep on holding us down”.

That one seems really more to me from Kylo’s POV when Rey leaves for the MF at the end of TFA. We Come Running (Youngblood Hawke):

Headed for the open door Tell me what you're waiting for (Rey is coded as the waiting one) Look across the great divide (the ground falling apart between them) Soon they're gonna hear The sound, the sound, the sound (Boom goes Starkiller) When we come running Never go where we belong (obviously, they parted ways when they should be together) Echoes in the dead of dawn (Force bond foreshadowing echoes?) Soon they're gonna know The sound, the sound, the sound When we come running

And also that one: Force of Nature (Bea Miller). That one really fits Kylo in TFA as he starts falling for Rey during their duel on Starkiller: I don't know why but my hands are shaking I can see you coming and I stand here waiting (Didn’t put up much of a fight, honestly) Yeah I get tongue tied in the conversation (Lost the interrogation scene fight) It's an F'd up, bad, sick situationI tried to tie my heart down, board up all the windows Oh but it's too late now (Too late is classic Kylo) I let you get too close (like inside my head) I know I should take cover, hide inside these four walls But baby I surrender, it all'Cause you're a force of nature (Marry Me Face) Look at what you've done I can taste the danger but I don't wanna run So pull me to the ground and I won't put up a fight (End of the fight) I'm a caution taker, but baby you're a force of nature Baby you're a force of natureI feel your lips move in and they take me under (The Force? Mesmerized in looking at her) You know just what to do, how to make me want you And I know I'll be broken when it's over Oh but I can't help but pull you closerI'll be here 'till we collide I don't care if I survive So crash into me one more time

Say what you want, but this beautiful ballad is all about Kylo’s feelings for Rey!

BONUS: THE INVERSE ANIDALA SONG?

There’s an intriguing tune in Kylo’s playlist. Incorporeal (Tiger Army).

I’m gone I died long ago but my spirit still roams (Incorporeal) Unwanted in heaven, forgotten in hell as on earth (Incorporeal) I don't want to stay here, it seems that I'll never be free Oh can you hear me? (no) And so It has come to be that I must wander forever (Incorporeal) Many things I have seen, empires that rise and then fall (Incorporeal) A life you live long is simply a moment to me A tiny drop of water in the sea of eternity There's no place for me everywhere that I go Only seems to bring upset and harm There's one thing that I want and one thing only Release into the great beyond Don't want to remember when I was alive When I held my true love in my arms For like you I once was, and like me you shall be When you Feel a chill in the night perhaps it's me saying hello (Incorporeal) You're so much like my love though she lived in a long ago time (Incorporeal) I long to see her, the day when my soul's laid to rest The peace that I can not find in life, I can find in death

Honestly, this song makes me want to scream!!! Heavy reincarnation theme. Especially when you cross that with Rey sharing 4 songs with Padmé. And with the fact that Anakin (not Vader) and Kylo share a song. And the song I mentioned, Rich Girl. Rey is the inverse Padmé already, right? She’s the younger one in the couple, and she is poor with a low status. Again, Padmé has everything (the riches and the guy) and didn’t end up happy. By sharing songs, it might be another hint that Rey will succeed where Padmé didn’t.

This is it for 7, guys. It is quite a beast. 34 songs left to go through in Rey’s playlist, 25 for Kylo.

#rey and kylo spotify playlists #those playlists have a tale to tell #reylo #reylo fandom #reylo evidence #reylo meta #inverse anidala

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 6 years

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About words and language in 13x18 (plus Sam and duty)

- High and low registers: Lucifer, Gabriel and the farcical

I want to start this post about words in 13x18 not from the obvious theme (speak! and use the correct words!) but from a different perspective. In particular I want to compare two moments: the exorcism scene and the mentions of the porn stars.

Let’s start with the exorcism scene - it was farcical in a jarring and disgusting way because it was supposed to be; all the Lucifer scenes in the episode (in every episode?) are creepy and obnoxious because that’s what he is. The priest invokes the “Most glorious Prince of the Heavenly armies, Saint Michael the Archangel” and gets Lucifer... which introduces us to an aspect I found very interesting about the scene.

The thing is, there is a deliberate gap in registers in the scene: the priests use the high register of religious formulas, but the demon and Lucifer talk at a much lower level, and the clash in registers gives the scene the character of a farce. Think Don Quixote speaking like (his idea of) a noble medieval knight versus... well, the unrefined register of vulgar people: there is an effect of pathetic that is born from the fact that a high register is completely out of place in the rest of the situation.

In general, all of Lucifer’s scene have a farcical nature: he pretends to be the grand ruler of heaven on the throne of heaven, but the throne is just a chair in a repurposed office, and he does nothing to actually rule... he’s basically an evil Don Quixote that thinks of himself as a noble knight but is actually a useless, violent dude.

I’d say that the clash in registers in the exorcism scene parallels the clash in registers in the scene about the porn stars: a high register (the whole “Enochian writings on the wall” that give a solemn angelic vibe, Sam’s speech about making the world a better place and Gabriel being needed) is juxtaposed to the low registers of the mentions of the porn stars in Monte Carlo.

This parallel juxtaposes Lucifer and Gabriel to show their difference - Gabriel has always used farcical humor as his modus operandi, it’s part of how he normally acts, and it does not chip away to his dignity at all. He used porn to help stop the apocalypse! He weaponizes the farcical and the low, he draws power out of it. On the other hand, dignity is exactly what Lucifer pretends to have but doesn’t. He’s no better or more dignified than the lowly demon that he calls a “total nobody”, he just likes to think he is.

In short, the feeling I get is that Gabriel - even in a traumatized state, barely holding it together, because that’s what he’s doing, even when he appears to be better - controls the registers (of course his farewell to Asmodeus is a mocking one-liner about his suit*), with Lucifer the thing just happens around him, until he pretty much loses control and destroys the priests out of annoyance.

*There’s also a parallel between the two mentions of suits in the episode: Lucifer is annoyed because the priests threw holy water at his suit (“It’s a new suit, thank you very much”), Gabriel says the line about Asmodeus’ dumbass suit. Again, it highlights the difference between the two - Gabriel is in control even if he’s barely holding it together, Lucifer isn’t in control even when he technically holds all the power.

- Use words, use the correct ones

I am not going to spend too many words on the theme that has been discussed to Mars and back over the season so far - we know what’s going on, the show is setting a narrative about the fact that you need to say things and you need to say them correctly. The Gabriel arc so far has been a blatant mirror for the whole narrative: first his mouth is sewn, then he chooses not to talk due to his trauma (hello, 1x03) but writes everything down (I also found interesting that Sam is like, why isn’t he talking to us, when Gabriel just filled the entire room walls with communication - he’s being nonverbal but he’s communicating, Sam dumbass, no offense) and eventually starts talking again... by immediately correcting Sam’s language. Sam uses the wrong word to refer to Gabriel’s sexual companions in Monte Carlo: Gabriel wrote about porn stars, Sam referred to them as hookers, and, well, the difference is substantial. Again, words are not interchangeable (especially, I might add, when we’re talking about sexual or romantic partners, or potential partners, right?).

Now, going back to the previous part of this post - many people have talked about the usage of the “we need you, I need you” line in the scene ever since the sneak peek was released, but the sneak peek didn’t show a fundamental part of the scene: the fact that the “noble” speech is sandwiched between mentions of the porn stars in Monte Carlo. That gives a sort of farcical aspect to Sam’s speech, purposely ‘lowering’ it from the ‘high’ register of the 8x17 quote. There is a dramatic irony in play there - Sam is moving in a high register (both on an intradiegetic level, i.e. what Sam is doing, and on an extradiegetic level, i.e. the 8x17 parallel the audience sees), but other elements in the situation make that register appear inappropriate and ridiculous. So it’s not a “copy” of the Destiel scene - it’s a sort of semi-dark parody of it.

Now, I am not going to dwell much on Gabriel as a parallel for Dean’s and Sam’s issues with talking about sensitive things, because we get it (interesting that Dean had no issues communicating about sensitive things with Ketch and Charlie, right? I wonder what that could mean), so let me digress a bit from the actual topic of the post to add a thing that fits in the picture.

- And while we’re talking about distinctions...

The episode does not only tackle the usual topic of using the right words. It also subtly reminds us of an old little theme, the distinction between familial love (in particular between siblings) and romantic love. (Do you think there’s a bit of making fun of the fandom panic that occurs when a female character is cast and people assume it’s a love interest for Dean, like it happened before Charlie’s first episode aired? Probably not, but I like to think there’s a little dig at the fandom panic thing here, lol.)

As Dean expresses strong feelings about Charlie, Ketch hypothesizes that she was a girlfriend of Dean’s. Later, Charlie basically has a moment of alarm when Dean tells her that they were “very” friends and she suspects that might mean a relationship. In both cases, Dean specifies that it wasn’t the case - he explains to Ketch that Charlie was like a sister to him, and reassures Charlie her alternate version wasn’t straight. But we know that Charlie’s sexuality matters relatively to the nature of her and Dean’s relationship, because even if she had been bisexual or straight, Dean saw her a sister, not someone he couldn’t have sexually or romantically because of her sexuality. So we’re reminded again of the distinct line between sibling love and romantic/sexual love. I wonder what that could mean...

- Sam and Gabriel and duty

Let’s return to Gabriel’s initial inability to speak (first physical, then psychological). Of course, it’s not just a parallel to Dean, but to Sam too. Ho ho, Sam. As usual, Sam explicits the “parallels” he sees between himself and the person he’s interacting with (there are some interesting posts out there about Sam’s way of sympathizing with others by drawing a comparison between his own experiences and the other person’s, or, at least, what he understands of the other person’s experiences though the lenses of his own), and he projects on Gabriel what he needs to believe about his own situation. Eventually... he doesn’t work. Sure, we know that Gabriel will change his mind about the situation and join the team, but we can reasonably expect that he’ll need more motivation (a different kind of motivation?) than Sam’s speech about himself and their supposed parallels. Sam also only mentions the “safe” old story of his retirement from hunting, and doesn’t touch his own inability to speak about his trauma (yes he did it with Rowena but he explicitly said he can’t do it with the people who really matter, i.e. Dean).

While we’re talking about this scene - the speech about making the world a better place, what he was “put here” to do, doesn’t work, and is in fact a little terrifying by looking at Sam through the lens of it. “What I was put here to do” empties his entire life of choice, and it’s an extremely meaningful piece of insight into Sam’s mind - he does not really conceive his life if not in terms of accepting or refusing a course of action. There doesn’t seem to be a concept of building his own course, but to accept the one that he’s supposed to follow or to reject it. He tells Gabriel that he chose it out of duty, basically - “rubbish”, Ketch calls duty shortly later. This season also has a theme about duty, about the fact that making life choices based on duty (duty alone) is bad. And this scene with Sam talking to Gabriel seems to tell us that Sam’s entire life course is only based on a sense of duty, because he conceives things as embracing the role written for him or reject it altogether, and duty obviously calls for the first.

We’re going to keep a close eye on Sam and Gabriel and how the progressions of their stories parallel each other. At the end of the day, it’s the same old issue: Sam doesn’t like his life, but he considers it a burden he has to shoulder...

#my spn thoughts #spn meta #spn 13x18 #lucifer #gabriel #communication #love and love #sam and duty #spn

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reject-princess97 · 6 years

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Jack Barakat-All Time Low

I stood there starring at the woman in the mirror, looking back at me, wearing a stunning white wedding dress, her hair wrapped around her head in a tight bun and her make up done to perfection. She was the perfect bride, but she wasn't happy. I wasn't happy.

“Of all the way I imagined my wedding day, this was not how I ever pictured it going.” I sighed peeling my eyes away from my reflection and on to my sister who had the job of making sure I didn't run away from my responsibilities and to make sure I looked perfect for the crowd of people sat out side the door, waiting to watch me give my life away to some total ass hat.

“Y/N honey, you're doing the right thing here. This will bring the two families together. He has had a thing for you since you were in high school.” My sister sighed, obviously tired of hearing the same thing over and over again.

Today was my wedding day. Today should be the happiest day of my life except I'm marrying a man I could never love all for the sake of my father. My mum and dad told me I was to marry Harry Olsen, leaving me with no choice but to leave the man I loved dearly and live with a broken heart and an unhappy marriage.

“Dad needs this, Mum needs this and lets be real, you need this.” She told me, no emotion in her voice, what so ever, showing me she really didn't give a damn how I felt.

“How do I need this?” I snapped making her look at me. She raised her eyebrow but then sighed.

“Y/N you need this because it's someone who loves you, who will do anything for you. He...”

“But I don't love him,” I interrupted, feeling a tear running down my cheek.

“Oh sweetie,” She cooed, wiping the tear from my cheek. “I know...but your relationship with Jack would never work. He's just so..” She smiled sadly but I pulled away and sent her a glare.

“Oh I know Exactly what you think of Jack, I heard you talking to mum.” I snapped.

“Y/N that's not how...”

“Forget about it.” I interrupted again. “I'm gonna marry Harry, with whom I'll have security, wealth and the 'perfect life' Mum and Dad want for me.” I mumbled sadly.

“But you don't what that?” She asked looking at me with sad eyes.

“No I do what that.” I sighed, “I want security, I want a roof over my families head but I also want MY idea of a perfect life.” I told her.

“Which is?” My sister asked as she picked up my bouquet of roses.

“Well,” I said as I took the flowers and looked at myself in the mirror once again. “Any life were I'm happily in love even after 10, 20 or 30 years of marriage. We would have two kids, a little boy named Riley and a little girl named Kayden, because we want names that fit both genders.” As I spoke I found myself smiling for the first time in a while because all I could think about was Jack, the only person I can imagine have this life with. “We would live in a small house, big enough for the four of us. We would both work while the kids are at school and we would have our fights, but we wouldn't care what they were about because at the end of the day we both know that our love for each other is stronger than any force in this world.” I finished, looking back at my sister who was once again, not actually paying attention to me.

“And you can't have any of that with Harry?” She asked, as she messed about with the vale.

“Please, Harry was brought up to think that a woman's place is at home, looking after the house and kids, while the men works. He doesn't want kids and I don't think I see myself ever loving him.” I told her

“But you can see yourself having all that with a guitar player with no money?” She laughed darkly. I wanted to hit her, kill her even but I kept my cool and shrugged.

“It's not about money, it's about being with someone who loves you.”

“I see.” She sighed, bored with the topic again.

Before I could say anything there was a knock at the door and my mum walked in. “Y/N Sweetie, it's time.” She smiled and I nodded. I let my sister place my vale in my hair and I forced a smile.

“Let's get this over with.” I muttered walking out to see my dad waiting by the door, smiling at me.

“You ready?” My dad asked, I nodded and shrugged.

“As I'll ever be.”

The music in the hall began playing and I straightened my self up as the doors opened and my dad and I began walking. The second I saw Harry, smiling at me, a sickeningly smug smile, I felt sick and I felt my knees go week. My dads grip tightened and he sent me a warning look. I smiled up at him. “Just nerves don't worry.” I sighed.

As we reached the end of the isle felt Harry's arm wrap tightly around my waist and he pulled me into his arms, planting a kiss on my cheek.

“You look beautiful.” He whispered. I thanked him quietly and I let my mind wonder as the vicar did his thing.

I thought about how different this would be if it were Jack I was marrying and not Harry. How happy I would be and how amazing it would be to look out and see all my friends from Jacks band watching us, pretending to me manly and strong when in reality they were crying like babies. My best friend Lisa would be there as my made of honour and she would be smiling at me and Jack would be there, telling me he loved me with all his heart and I would feel just the same so I would....

“Y/N, do you take Harry Olsen to be your lawful wedded husband?” He asked tearing from my thoughts. I looked over to my dad who nodded sternly. I looked over to my mum who was crying and then I looked at Harry who smiled smugly.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and opened my mouth to speak when all of a sudden the sound of a door caused me to open my eyes and look to where the sound came from.

There, in the door way stood Jack Barakat, the love of my life, Wearing his usual black skinny jeans, his favourite 'BONER' t-shirt and black converse,

At the sight of him I smiled brightly as our eyes locked.

“Jack?” I asked, finally finding my voice.

“Y/N please don't marry him, please.” He pleaded.

“Don't embarrass yourself again Barakat, she chose me.” Harry spoke before I could answer.

“She only chose you because her dad is making her.” Jack shot back making Harry laugh obnoxiously.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that Jack, don't you have a “band” to be playing with.” Harry snorted.

“Y/N, please stop, you'll never be happy in a loveless marriage like this, you know I'm right, he can't make you happy.” Jack reasoned stepping forward. He was right and knew he was but before I could speak Harry interrupted again, I was getting tired of not being able to get a single word in.

“Please, I can give her anything she wants of cause she'll be happy, what can you give her that I can't.” He asked smirking obviously already knowing the answer.

“I can't give her everything she wants. I don't have the money for that.” Jack sighed, obviously not happy about that. “but, I can keep her warm at night, I can keep her fed when she is hungry and most importantly...I can make her smile with just one word.” He smirked winking at me, making me smile.

“No you can't.” Harry snapped.

Jack looked over at me and smiled, his eyes locking with mine, “Allons-y” he said simply quoting my favourite British TV show, Doctor Who.

“What the bloody hell does that mean?” Harry asked looking between the two of us, My eyes never left Jacks as I smirked and nodded.

“It's French, for lets go.” I laughed, stepping forward. My dad stood up and stood in front of me. His eyes felt like they were burning into my soul.

“Y/N, you are going to regret it if you walk away, you will lose your family, your friends and you will not be welcomed back into our home.” he yelled, the rest of the guests were watching, occasionally chatting to each other, but mostly just watched on in anticipation.

I looked over at Jack and I was so lost in his eyes that I didn't even look away from him, shaking my head.

“No I won't, the only thing I will regret is not leaving with him sooner.” I said as I grabbed the hem of my dress and I looked at my dad. “I love you daddy, I do, but I can't live my life to make you happy if I'm not happy with the life I'm living.” I said walking over to jack. I didn't even look away I just ran into Jacks arms and we ran out of the church where I found my friends and Jacks band mates Alex, Zack and Rian stood out side by a van which we climbed into and Alex drove off.

We said our hellos and I sat by Jack, not letting go of his hand.

“You know Y/N you look amazing in that dress.” Zach smiled from the front seat. I smiled at him and thanked him, leaning my head on Jacks shoulder.

“She does look beautiful all dressed up.” Jack smiled softly kissing the top of my head. “But she'd look better without that dress on.” He laughed making my face turn a bright red as I hid my face in his shoulder.

The boys all laughed at my embarrassment and I hit Jack around the back of the head. “Don't be rude.” I laughed.

“Yeah bro way to make bride blush.” Rian laughed from next to me. I smiled at him and we just sat quietly until I realised something big.

“I guess I'm on my own now. No family member is gonna forgive me after this are they?” I sighed. I felt as though I had lost everything I ever had but yet I felt amazing that I had Jack by my side once again.

“That's not true, you have us, you will never be alone again, Jack would never let that happen. Right Jack?” Alex asked. Jack nodded and smiled leaning down and kissing me for the first time since he crashed my wedding.

“Damn right. Now you need to change, it will look awkward being caught with you dressed like that by fans or press.” Jack smiled down at me and I nodded.

“How about a little music.” Rian asked as he pulled his phone out, he winked at me and Jack as he pressed lay and Busted crashed the wedding began to play though the car speakers making the boys and I laugh.

Alex pulled into a motel and parked the van. As I stepped out of the van I saw a familiar face pop out from a Motel room and I let out a squeal as she ran over to meet us.

“Y/N!” Lisa yelled as she pulled me into a hug. “Wow, you look freaking gorgeous babe.” She smiled pulling me away so she could get a better look. “Not as good as you will look when you and Jack tie the knot but still beautiful.” She winked as she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the room she came from. I stepped inside and as the boys began to follow Lisa stopped them and told them to get out.

“This room will be for Y/N changing and she doesn't need you boys watching her. Go away.” She ordered as she slammed the door.

“Love you too Babe.” I heard Alex call through the door making Lisa and I laugh.

“You have know idea how much I've missed you. I've been going crazy on my own.” I smiled at her as I sat down on he bed.

“We've been the same, honestly, if I had to go one more day listening to Jack and Alex talk about their plan to crash your wedding and sweep you off you feet, I would have come looking for you and kidnapped you myself just to get them to shut up.” She huffed sitting by me.

“What and rob them of their big dramatic moment. You would never.” I smiled as I nudged her shoulder against me.

“Now can we please get me out of this dress. I feel like I belong on top of a wedding cake.” I instructed as I stood up and tried to reach my zip but I failed miserably. Lisa laughed and stood, unzipping the dress and allowing me to breath once again.

“Thank god, I can breath.” I smiled as I held the dress up to cover my underwear.

“Here, let's make you feel like you again. She smiled handing me a towel and some shower gel. I smiled gratefully and we walked the bathroom. She handed me a jacket to slip on while she turned the shower on and she helped me take down my hair. I smiled and she left me alone to I could shower.

My shower was great, I washed the make up from my face, cleaned the hairspray out my long brown hair and let the hot water wash my worried and fears away. One done I grabbed the towel and climbed out, wrapping the towel around me and shutting off the water. As I walked towards the door I caught a glance at my reflection.

“Lisa, I need your help with something.” I called as I opened the bathroom door. “Grab some scissors and a hair brush. I need a new look.” I smiled, flashing my teeth. She nodded and is seconds she came in to the bathroom holding a set of underwear and the things I had asked for. She then left me to put on the clean underwear while she grabbed a chair. I pulled on the jacket she has given me before and sat on the chair.

“So what you thinking?” She asked looking at me a little sceptically.

“How about just above the shoulders?” I asked and she nodded.

After half hour or so of cutting my hair I blow dried it while Lisa searched for some clothes and make up. Once my hair was done I pulled on the clothes Lisa had given me, I pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans, an All Time Low t-shirt and a pair of converse that were hers. Once changed I did my make up, a light layer of foundation, smokey eyes and Bright Red lipstick. Lisa curled my hair a little and I looked at myself in the mirror.

I felt and looked more like me, the old me that wore what she wanted, listened to good music and followed All Time Low when they we touring, not the perfect girl next door my mum and dad forced me to be.

My hair was shorted now and I felt free and I don't know just felt like I was a new person but the old me at the same time.

“Miss, Y/L/N, I do believe you are ready to go find the boys. I nodded and we packed everything away and I followed her to her car which was parked were van used to be.

“Lisa, where'd the boys go?” I asked as she closed the trunk.

“They got a show tomorrow. So by now, it's five thirty so they will be finishing Sound check about now.” She smiled. I nodded and we climbed into the car, “Right, lets go show off the new you.” She smiled starting the car and we set off.

The venue for the boys show wasn't too long away but by the time we got there boys were out side the venue messing about, Zack and Rian were playing basket ball and Jack and Alex we cuddled in the back of the Van.

“Honestly, I think he forgets he's married to me.” Lisa sighed in mock annoyance as she parked the car by the van and she got out. “It's like I don't exist like at all.” She called over to Alex who sat up quickly and smiled.

“You can join if yo want Lisa, we already know you dream about a Lisa and Jalex Threesome.” Alex called. I smiled when I saw Lisa laugh and I watched as she shook her head.

“That thought has never crossed my mind and you Alex Gaskarth have the mind of a thirteen year old I swear” She huffed. I watched as Jacks eyes searched the area behind Lisa and widen as they landed on me, sat on the hood of Lisa's car. He pushed Alex away from him and stood up, rushing towards me. I stayed seated and smiled when I heard Alex swear.

“What the fuck man....where are you goin..oh.” He chuckled as he spotted me and his attention fell on his wife. My attention followed Jack as he walked closer to me.

“Well hey there pretty lady, what brings you to this side of town.” He joked as he sat next to me.

“You know what, I have no idea. This morning I woke up ready to marry this ass hat that my parents wanted me to be with and then half way through the ceremony, in walked the one person I ever pictured spending my life with. He took my hand and dragged me away from the nightmare that was my life and now, here I am, trying to find the words to thank him for stopping me from making the biggest mistake of my life and for making me the happiest.” I smiled at him. Leaning my head closer and closer until our lips met.

The make out session was sweet and hot. The passion in every kiss took my breath away and I never wanted it to end but as the old saying goes, all good things must come to an end, and our good thing ended when a flash pulled our attention to Alex who stood beside his phone in hand.

“Sorry, I just wanted to post the good news.” He smiled before running off.

“Thank you Jack. For being the most amazing man to ever grace this earth. You....” I was cut of my Jacks lips pressing against mine making me smile.

“You never have to thank me for today because honestly it was the most selfish thing I have ever done. It's just I couldn't live with out you anymore. I need you more than you realise.” He smiled resting his forehead against mine.

“Remember when I used to tell you I wanted to find a love as amazing as Alex and Lisa's?” He asked me pulling away and looking to his best friend who sat smiling u at his wife. I followed his gaze and nodded.

“I don't want a relationship like that anymore.” He sighed looking over at me, I frowned and tilted my head to the side just a little. “I don't want a love like that because I want a love like ours. A love that can stand against the odds and still come out stronger than ever. A love where we can make jokes and laugh with each other and then we can just be happy, no matter what's happened in the past.” he smiled pressing another kiss to my forehead.

“I love you Jack Barakat.” I sighed as I cuddled into his chest.

“I love you too Y/N.” he whispered kissing the top of my head one again leaving us to sit there quietly watching our friends have fun in the evening sun and just enjoying each others company.

“I love your hair by the way. It looks hot.” Jack mumbled into my ear and he kissed my neck softy.

“Thanks, I needed a change and this seemed like the most obvious choice.” I laughed as I grabbed his hand and held it in my relaxing into the arms of the love of my life, forgetting about my family I had left behind, focusing on the family I had gained in the boys and Lisa who soon joined us at the car where we just laughed and enjoyed until it was time to head back to the motel for the night where we all gathered in one room, ordered pizza and just had fun.

Part 2

Materlist

#Jack Barakat #Jack Barakat Imagine #All Time Low Imagine #imagines #imagine #ATL

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noramoya · 5 years

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“This week, it seemed there was a small triumph when Sky Arts announced that due to strong reservations from Michael’s family (namely Paris) they would not screen their controversial, fantasy story about Michael Jackson, Liz Taylor and Marlon Brando.

Having followed the commentary since the story first broke about the show mid-2016, it’s become apparent that there now seems to be this industry shift towards putting a Michael Jackson ‘themed’ story out there. Perhaps the industry feel 8 years is enough of a grace period and that the potential audience is too lucrative to pass up on the offer? But when all is said and done, don’t we all know the story already? Could a made for TV movie really tell us something about Michael that we don’t know…but should?

Let’s start with the Sky Arts Show ‘Urban Myths’ which was to tell the long rumoured story that after 9/11, Michael, Liz and Marlon who had been in New York for the 30th Anniversary shows, hired a car and drove to Ohio. As far as stories go about Michael, this is one of the most ridiculous and it seems that people who buy in to this are quick to forget he had not only his children, but his parents and siblings with him in New York. Yet, we’re expected to believe he just abandoned them all for a ‘road-trip’ to safety?! Secondly, fans who were in New York for the shows have reported for years on just how Michael went to extensive efforts to ensure that the fans who had congregated outside his hotel were moved to safety, requesting some of his own team to assist with the transition. This is the truth about how Michael dealt with the 9/11 atrocity. He did not hot-foot it out of New York with out concern or care for those who were in the city to see him.

The biggest controversy surrounding the Urban Myths show was that they’d hired a white actor to play Michael. Joseph Fiennes, a little known actor who has had a few shots at the big time was to portray Michael alongside Grease Actress Stockard Channing as Liz Taylor and Brian Cox as Marlon Brando. Understandable there was upset as Michael was an African-American and the idea of a white man playing him is both confusing and offensive. The fact that the show was set in 2001 proved a challenge with casting; Michael was a black American who, due to vitiligo appeared with a fully white complexion at the time which they were looking to portray. To select a black actor and ask them to ‘whiten up’ would be inappropriate. To select a white actor and ask them to be Michael was also inappropriate. Perhaps a light skinned African-American would have been a far better choice? Ultimately from this casting issue alone, the story should have been abandoned.

But for me, the thing that bothered me more than who was cast was the way in which they chose to portray Michael’s persona. As others have done in the past, this show sought to portray Michael as this insane, infantile man who speaks soft spoken nonsense and only cares about futile issues. You see this in the trailer, with no surprise that Bubbles was name dropped as Fiennes is seen running erratically through the woodlands. It’s this that continues to bother me about these attempts to depict Michael. You saw it in the horrendous ‘Man in the Mirror’ movie starring Flex Alexander and in numerous TV shows that have failed at portraying the true Michael Jackson. Acting a stereotype of a person is easy…understanding who you’re meant to be representing is far more complex and as ‘fine’ as all these actors may be credited, they do their profession a dis-service when they choose to portray Michael as the media enigma and not taken on the task of researching who he really was, how he really spoke and what he was really about.

For now, we’ll be spared having to see such a farce play out as Sky’s cancellation means the footage will stay off our airwaves…at least for the time being. Banned footage creates demand, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see the episode surface at some point…But as of right now, it’s cancelled and that’s a good thing. No sooner has the cancellation been announced that more details of the ‘Lifetime network’s’ biopic about Michael has been released and the circus starts up again. The ‘movie’ is reported to be based on the Bodyguard’s book ‘Remember the Time’, is written by Berry Gordy with support from Suzanne De Passe and featuring…Navi as Michael. You simply couldn’t make this up!

Personally, I find this concept extremely insulting. Between the period of 2006-2009 in which the bodyguard’s book is set, Michael was at a very unique point in his life. He’d been through the most emotionally draining, physically taxing trial of his life, partnered with a full on media-slaughter and public execution. He had numerous financial and legal issues surrounding him and by all accounts it seemed he just wanted to get back to being a father and living as normal life as possible. For any TV network to think they could possible begin to understand what Michael had gone through and be able to serialize that for the small screen is highly offensive. Gordy and De Passe, whilst I’ve no doubt will be respectful, were not a part of Michael’s life in those later years and so their positioning seems misplaced. As for Navi as the lead, it’s evident the production are more interested in getting the look right than they are in portraying the depth of Michael’s life. It’s ignorant to think that because a person can throw similar dance moves and alters his appearance with make up and prosthetic to look like Michael, that he could possibly be able to portray Michael, following the trial and the struggles which the book details. It does Michael a complete dishonour for those tied to this project to think they can adequately convey Michael at this stage in his life. For those who have read the book, it’s well placed in being from the point of view of the bodyguards; what they saw, what they experienced, how it affected them. But the driving factors for a ratings show will always be making ‘Michael’ the star, the first person and the ‘character’ they choose him to be.

Another problem with these types of movies is always the question ‘how do you know?’. If we have a scene featuring just Michael and his children, unless any of them regaled the entire conversation, word for word, ‘how do you know’ that’s what went down? If Michael and Liz were having a catch up in their pajamas (as they did in 2009) and neither told what they spoke about, what are you going to do? Make it up? and here in lies the problem. These movies become fictitious, dramatic productions that follow the penciled lines of Michael’s life.

I’m sure these won’t be the only two projects as Michael’s life continues to fascinate and will no doubt continue to do so for years to come. But put simply, do we need these? Michael Jackson was one of, if not the biggest star on the planet. His entire life was played out in front of the cameras. We followed his inception in to the industry before he was even a teenager, right up to his passing and beyond. What more do we need to see about a man that gave everything he wanted to give to the public and keep private those things that he had every right to do so? His health was his business, his finances, his business, his legal issues, his business. None of these warrant a place on a TV screen in a budget recreation of Michael’s life and surroundings.

As we approach the 8th year of his passing, we can look back and see that we’ve learned a lot about Michael that we didn’t know before, some good, some we’d prefer remained private, many stories and interviews have filled in little bits of the puzzle of what made Michael the person we admire. We don’t need this elaborated or scandalized for a few ratings. How could you create a biopic on Michael Jackson anyway? Far too much happened in his life to cover everything. What would be deemed most important? You couldn’t tell one part without the rest of the story. And who would you cast? would it be multiple actors? Michael’s life was his. Enough of it is out there for those who want to know. I believe a biopic is and would always be a horrible idea. I don’t need to see the trial re-enacted…I lived it! If I want to see Michael live? I’ll stick on a DVD.

Granted we had the ‘Jacksons American Dream’ back in the 90s and I think they did a great job in portraying a part of the Jacksons’ upbringing and launch in to super stardom, yet these were different times where not as much was video documented and Michael’s life in particular was most certainly less complex.

Thankfully, being the creative genius he was, Michael documented much of his creative output and we’ve been privy (official or otherwise) to getting a view at the way he wrote, recorded, rehearsed and made magic. This is what we should be seeing, this is what is important to Michael’s story, the documentation he left behind tells the story from Michael’s perspective, with Michael as the star and how he wanted it to be seen. I’ll leave you with a quote from the man himself…

“I’m a great fan of art, I love Michelangelo, if I had the chance to talk to him or read about him I would want to know what inspired him to become who he is, the anatomy of his craftsmanship, not about who he went out with last night … what’ wrong with … I mean that’s what is important to me.”

Pez.

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sand1128 · 7 years

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FanFic: The Chair

Special thanks to @imaginarybird @drizzyyjayy @madelinecoffee @frankchurchillsaysrelax for their never ending support.

The Chair, from Texas 3, is featured in several different stories in my Rucas universe. In this story, Auggie is handing the chair “down” to Logan and Michael. As he explains its significance, he talks about the 4 times he had Lucas sit and the one time Lucas had him sit.

Up next: Lucas’s first time home alone with Logan

"To some, this is just a tiny chair. To me? It's so much more. This chair played a huge part in my role as your mom's brother.

Grab a seat Logan...you too Michael... I'm going to tell you the legend of the chair. To quote your Uncle Zay? It's a great Rucas story. I'm going to tell you about the 4 times I made your dad sit in that chair and about the one time he made me sit in it.

It's important that you know all about that chair because you have sisters you will need to protect. Sisters that you might need to comfort. While your Dad has the shoe stealing covered... you guys are going to be the ones to make sure anyone is right for them."

Logan chimes in with "Dad said Emily Ann is not dating until she's 40"

Standing in the hallway, Lucas grins as he hears Auggie laugh "Yeah. Like that will happen. Emily Ann is just like your mom, which means she will likely meet the person of her dreams long before she is 40"

Lucas frowns at that comment but has to cover his mouth to contain his laughter when Logan repeats "40...4...0 and not a day before Uncle Aug. Dad and us? We won't allow it."

Auggie smirks "You keep thinking that way kid. Emily Ann and Hope are both going to be heartbreakers long before they are 40. They are gorgeous"

"Ewww...yuck. Don't say that Uncle Aug, you're talking about our sisters!"

Auggie laughs and begins his story...

Riley came home from Texas an emotional mess. Oh, she tried to hide it from everyone but as her brother I knew the signs to look for. She also proclaimed to anyone within earshot that Lucas was now her brother. This alternately confused me, hurt me and infuriated me. I knew she had feelings for Lucas, real ones not brotherly ones. I am her ONLY brother she does not need any more! How did everyone miss what she was doing? How did her best friends not realize that she was sacrificing her happiness?

I texted Lucas and asked him to come over. As he sat in that chair I wanted to make sure he knew that a) I was her only brother b) no matter what happened he better not hurt my sister.

I wanted to tell him that Riley was lying...wanted him to know that she still really, really liked him but was putting everyone else's happiness before her own. Wanted to ask him how he felt about her. If he still really liked her and why we were still waiting for his moment & if he thought he would ever get a chance to have it. I couldn't do any of that. Riley would've killed me. I wanted to tell Lucas that if my sister cried over him? I would make him pay.

“Riley is my sister. I’m her only brother. and her only brother is telling you whatever happens, DON’T hurt my sister.”

It took a long time before my sister was Smiley Riley again but when they came back from the Ski Lodge school trip, she was wearing the biggest smile. She told me all about her conversation with him and how he gave her a purple jellybean. Gotta hand it to your dad boys... that was a slick move. "

II.

London, England.... the possible new home of the Matthews? In the middle of freshman year... Grammy Topi was asked to manage the overseas office for her law firm.

I sent Lucas a text and asked him to come over. I needed to talk to him myself.

“Take care of your sister for me. Make sure she stays Princess Dancing Sunshine. Don't let her get too far into Rileytown. If you need me, you call me... any time of the night or day. You call me... ok?” I stood up on my bed and gestured for him to stand as well. I grabbed his face "I promise Lucas. I will take care of her for you. Promise me you won't forget us?" I asked as I hugged him tightly.

"How can I forget my first love and her amazing little brother?" he replied as his eyes filled.

"We are pretty unforgettable, aren't we? I know we won't forget you and maybe someday, WE will be brothers"

"I'd like that. I've always wanted a brother"

"Take care of Farkle for me too? He's like our brother... though I must admit, he never made Riley as giggly as you did.

He laughed and rested his head on mine “You let me know if anyone starts making her giggly ok?"

Once Grammy Topi decided that we were staying in NY, I don’t know who was more excited to tell your dad…. Me or your mom.” Auggie pauses in reflection.

"Mom told me the story. He gave mom 12 roses... 11 real lavender roses and one yellow silk rose. Told her that they would be friends until the last rose died." Logan explains.

"He still does that.... every time he brings her flowers, one of them isn't real... he promises her that he will love her until the last flower dies. She keeps a few in each room of the house. He promised us that he will love us until the last star fades from the universe." Michael explains.

"That sounds like the Lucas I know" Auggie replies with a smile.

"He's always doing and saying things like that." Michael continues "he said that in the beginning of HS he had to keep his feelings about mom to himself for a few months. Now he says that he will never do that again. He wants the whole world to know how much he loves her. That she’s always been the one for him, since Day 1, it's been her. He reminds us that she could have had other choices but she chose him anyway... even when he was being a jerk."

Auggie laughs.

"That sounds like your dad. Keeping quiet was not easy for him. Uncle Farkle was a huge help to your dad. Ask him to tell you about the emails your dad sent him."

"Dad sent emails to Uncle Farkle?" a slightly confused Michael asks.

"He wrote them to your mom but couldn't send them to her so he sent them to Uncle Farkle." Auggie explains

"Uncle Farkle played a big part in mom and dad finally getting together. He said that it was tough being best friends with both at that time. He wanted to lock them in a closet to make them talk. He got so angry, at one point, with dad that he pushed him" Logan explains.

"Can you imagine him doing that? Have you seen his pictures from that time? Can't believe he pushed dad. He also mentioned that he wanted to beat dad with a bag of jellybeans and a scale or at least shove them.... Aunt Smackle covered his mouth at that point. I think it's safe to say, he wasn't going to say a nice place" All three chuckle at the thought of Farkle pushing Lucas.

III.

"I've seen your dad happy, sad, angry, hurt but that was the first time I ever saw him broken. As mad as I was at him, my heart hurt for him. I wanted to kick his butt and give him a hug. Sometimes it’s not easy being a brother... grandad used to say that "Friends talk and real friends listen" but brothers? We must "listen" for what's not said out loud. I knew your dad was hurting but I had to protect your mom first. I might love your dad like a brother but your mom is my priority. Don't get me wrong. I have no problem telling her when she's wrong" Auggie winks and raises his index finger to his lips "Shh... don't tell her I told you but she will be wrong on some occasions .... but she's my priority"

Logan looks up at his uncle and smiles "That's what dad says all the time. That we are his priority... that nothing in this world is more important to him than mom and us kids"

That time, I didn’t have the chair out. He made me get it before he would start talking

"C'mon Aug, you know what chair. We can't have a serious conversation unless I'm sitting in that chair. It's our thing. So, get the chair so we can start moving past this" He folded his arms and stared at me until I got it from the closet.

When he started to speak, my heart hurt for him

"I can't tell you how gut wrenching it is to look in a mirror and hate what you see. Aug, at that point, I hated everything about who I was. I was self-destructing and I didn't know it. Once it became apparent that I was out of control, the only thought I had was protecting her. I couldn't let anything happen to her. Auggie, if anything happened to your sister by my hand? I don't know that I would've survived. She's my everything and I would rather she hate me than risk hurting her" Lucas takes a deep breath and stares at his feet.

"That's the thing, Lucas. You DID hurt her. It wasn't with your fists & it wasn't even with your words... it was with your silence. Your favorite thing in the world is when you guys talk...hers too. Yet you silenced everything without any real explanation. That was just cruel. She had no idea why. I'm not going to lie, it hurt me too. Not just because you went back on your word about not hurting my sister but because you cut me out too without a word. Brothers don't do that Lucas."

"I was going to be the coolest uncle ever. The best brother in law too. How could I not be? My sister had found someone who worshipped the ground she walked on. Who loved her even when she was being goofy. Someone who wanted to be a permanent resident in Rileytown.... someone who loved her the way EVERY brother hopes his sister is loved."

"Aug... it is my greatest hope you can still be those things. I'm still that guy. I just lost my way a bit. I'm not asking anyone to forgive and forget... what I am asking for is everyone to remember who I was before all of this... who I will be again. I love your sister. I've loved her since 7th grade & I will love her forever...even if we don't get back together.”

IV.

I had been expecting his visit and pulled out the little chair. The chair was present for some of the most important moments that Lucas and I shared.

He smiled and laughed when I told him to take a seat.

“What’s up, Lucas?” I can’t help but feel a little weepy at the sight of him in that tiny chair. It was funny when he was in 8th grade…. It’s flat out comical now that he’s in his 20’s.

“Man, does this bring back memories. I’m here to talk to you Aug about your sister. You have always been her protector.... her best friend.... the most important man in her life besides your dad. That's why I'm coming to you first. All those years ago, you made sure I knew that you were her ONLY brother. Then when London almost happened we talked about you & I becoming brothers someday. I’m here today, to ask you for your blessing. I would like your blessing to marry your ONLY sister, my ONLY love and for you & I to become brothers. Auggie Matthews? May I have your blessing to marry your sister?”

I felt 10 feet tall… “Lucas, you have been the only guy to make my sister completely goofy. You have been the VP of Rileytown for the longest time. You dealt with my dad stealing your shoes and perhaps the biggest thing? You made sure that I was included every step of the way. You sat in that chair three times before and let me be Riley’s protective brother. I know how much you love my sister and how much she loves you. Of course, you have my blessing Lucas.” Lucas stood and moved to shake my hand…I took his hand and pulled him in for a hug.

“Thanks, Auggie. I promise I will do everything in my power to make her as happy as she makes me.”

“I know you will Lucas. Now let’s go into the living room so I can watch my dad’s head spin around when you ask him.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the expression that crossed his face.

“Did Grandpa freak out when Dad asked him?” Michael asks with wide eyes.

“No, he didn’t. He did pretend to have a heart attack but Grammy Topi reminded him how much they liked your dad and how much he loved your mom. Grandpa was always a big Rucas shipper.”

The first time Rucas asked Auggie to sit...

I was beyond exhausted and looking forward to eating a quick dinner and going to bed. I didn't care that it was only 7 pm. I was tired and nothing was going to stop me from catching up on some much-needed sleep.

I slammed the apartment door shut and yelled "Dad- I'm home! I'm exhausted and planning to..." but my words died off when I turned from the door and realized that the chair was sitting in the living room. Puzzled, I walked to the chair just as my dad entered the room. "Hey, dad. Why is this out?"

"When was the last time you saw it?" My dad countered. I paused, thinking for a minute as I run my hand along the top of the chair "it must have been when Lucas came to ask for my blessing to propose to Riley. It's been in Riley's old room since then"

"I forgot that you made him sit in the chair." My dad remarks with a sly smile.

"Yeah... that chair has been a big thing in my relationship with Lucas. He sat in it after Texas, when we thought London was happening, after he hit rock bottom in college and then when he asked me if he could marry my sister. Looking back now, every time he sat in that little chair, it was a sign that he respected me as her brother. That our relationship was important too."

"Your relationship with him is very important. What did he tell you on their wedding day?"

"He thanked me for taking such good care of Riley and that he wasn't replacing me in the role of her protector... rather adding to it. That while he thinks of me as his brother too, he knows that Riley will always come first." I got quiet as I got lost in the memories. "I have to say, she sure picked a good one. Didn't she dad?"

My dad looked around the room and reluctantly agreed. "She sure did Bubba"

"You never answered my question. Why is out here?"

My dad placed his hand on my shoulder and pushed me into the chair.

"Have a seat." I tried to stand but dad pushed me back down. "Trust me son, you are going to want to be seated for this"

I nodded my head and stopped trying to stand. It was just easier to let him do his thing.

"Let's do this!" Dad yelled.

I was stunned to see Riley and Lucas walk out of the hallway...followed by my mom.

"Ri? Lucas? What's going on? Why are you here?" I demanded and tried to get up but my dad is still holding me down.

"Hey, Aug" Riley leaned in and kissed me on the cheek.

Lucas knelt in front of the chair- "Hey bro" he greeted me as he gave me a hug.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you guys but why are you here in NY!?!?!?!"

Riley stands next to Lucas who reaches up to grab her hand... Their eyes meet and Riley nods her head.

I watched them like a hawk and was determined to find out what was going on.

"Auggie..." Lucas started but I cut him off quick

"What's wrong? Are you guys sick? Do you need money? I don't have much but I've got a kidney I don't need..." I rambled in a panic.

Lucas smiles "Calm down Aug. it's good news... I promise." Lucas waited for me to take a deep breath and calm down. "Better now? Ok... we are here because you said something to me a few years ago and it stayed with me"

"Me? What was it?"

"You said you were going to be the coolest uncle in the world. Even cooler than Josh."

"Oh yeah... I remember that" I murmured but was still confused.

After a moment or two of silence, Lucas tried again "Remember when I asked for..."

My dad interrupts "For the love of all things Rucas!!! They are expecting! There's a bun in her oven! She's prego! You're going to be an uncle in 6 months!"

I jumped out of the chair and gathered Lucas and Riley into a hug, as tears streamed down my face.

"Why are you crying Bubba?" my dad asked

"These are mixed tears dad, I'm beyond happy for these two but I'm sad for me because I didn't get to see you clutch your chest in agony when you found out that your baby is having a baby. Which means that they have gotten very, very close..." I trailed off sniffling.

My dad grabbed his chest "I didn't even think of that! Riley! My baby! Defiled by some two-bit cowboy! Oh, the horror!"

"Settle down Matthews. We love this two-bit cowboy." My mom replied with a sardonic smile.

Lucas and Riley joined in the laughter. Chaos ensued when I asked my dad if he needed me to explain how babies are made. As I chased my dad around the room (the latter covering his ears and screeching No!), Lucas wrapped Riley in his embrace, leaned his head against hers "did I know how crazy this family was before we got married?"

"Yes, yes you did. You know you're stuck with us now" Riley answered as she stood up on her toes to give her husband a kiss.

"That's right Friar! You're stuck! No backsies! She's your problem now!" I cracked as I gave my sister a hug.

"I'm so happy for you Ri. All of your dreams are coming true." I whispered in her ear.

"Thanks, Aug. He's making them come true as fast as he can. Thanks for making sure he knew that you were watching. I may need to borrow that chair someday."

“Can you believe your mom asked to borrow “The Chair”? She couldn’t believe it when I said no. Actually, I said a lot more than no but as a good uncle, I can’t repeat what I said.” Auggie pauses and remembers how annoyed he was that she would ask. “It was ummm… colorful to say the least. Borrow the chair? Not happening. You can’t just lend out things like that. The Chair comes with a lot of responsibility. Rucas will always have the subway…the library… the beach (geez these two and their symbolic places) but Augcas will always have “The Chair””. Auggie shakes his head in disbelief. The boys both chuckle and Michaels adds “Only mom”

“And that’s the story of “The Chair” Jared,” Logan explains as he straightens his bowtie. “Now you know how important that chair is to the Friar family.” Lucas peeks around the corner and grins at the sight of his two boys standing with Jared. Listening to his sons explain the story behind “The Chair” has helped him realize that the story has come full circle. The symbol of his bond with Auggie also played an important part in the relationship between his boys and Jared.

“Thank you for telling me the story. Your family is truly one of a kind but I already knew that.” Jared replies with a smile.

“We just wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting yourself into,” Michael explains as he buttons his vest.

“Believe me I know. Between you two and Hope? I have no doubts.”

“Then our work here is done. Just remember Jared. Emily Ann is our baby sister and will always be our priority.” Logan remarks with a stoic look on his face. Lucas feels his chest puff with pride and his heart race as he is joined by his wife. He wraps her in his arms and places a kiss on her forehead. They remain silent as they listen to the rest of the conversation.

“I know and I can appreciate that fact. The epic love stories that are Corpanga and Rucas have stood the test of time. Now it’s your sister’s turn to have her own love story for the ages. Your dad used to say that “when it was the right woman, walking through NYC with only one shoe on, was like walking on a cloud.” I'm here to tell you that when it's the right woman? That little chair feels like a throne for the King of the World. Now if you don’t mind, we need to get to the altar and wait for your sister…my life… to join me."

#rucas fanfic #the chair #i wish we had gotten more Auggie & Lucas moments i really wish we had gotten more RUCAS moments

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hell-on-training-wheels · 7 years

Text

Don’t Fear The Reaper

A/N: Quote prompt request from an anon. ^-^ I thought of doing something humorous, but the tone kind of wouldn’t let me. I hope you all still enjoy it.

———–

“I think I may have found a song that accurately describes how I feel towards you.”

———-

For the ruthless mercenary, there had never been any semblance of doubt that he would one day reach the end of his patience and get his revenge on Sombra. The only question that had been on his tired mind was what and when. What would be the provocation and when it would happen; when they were on a mission, on the airship, or at the most unexpected time?

Reaper had always suspected that it would be the latter. The hacker was insufferable to deal with when they had a serious objective, and even more so when they were alleviated from assignments for the meantime. The most aggravating part about it all was that she didn’t even have to be in the same room.

The ex-Blackwatch agent had longed for seclusion since their last failed mission, and much like with what had happened at Volskaya, he questioned Sombra’s true loyalty to Talon. Reaper trusted her the same way a cricket trusted a hungry lizard, but she was irreplaceable in Talon’s perspective. Plus, the ones that argued to keep her never had to partake in a mission with her like Widowmaker and himself did.

The Talon outpost, located 97 miles west of Dorado in the Mexican desert, had offered the mercenary with the quietness he needed. The agent still had means to communicate with Talon and the other members of his team when needed, but for the most part forsaken. The building he stayed in was an unimpressive fossil, a remnant of Overwatch’s global reach, and therefore, nothing anyone nearby to him cared to visit. The decrepit silver boxed-shaped building, gave a lackluster gleam under the full moon as he made his way back inside; the company of the stars overhead failing to keep any further interest.

Maskless, his scarred face pulled into a light scowl as the door opened for him and he passed by the faded symbol that careened his mind back into remembering bitter memories. The Overwatch symbol, the paint faded and scratched, was quickly forgotten the automatic doors hissed behind him. Shrouded in the darkness of his unlit hovel for only a moment, the lights flickered on as soon as they detected movement and followed him as he walked down the hall of the abandoned base.

They shut off the moment the door to his personal room closed and once again, the building looked unoccupied. The windowless rooms only light came from the holo-computer’s monitor that floated above his weapons workbench. Reaper’s hellfire shotguns laid just by the keyboard and for a moment, he considered using his guns to destroy the computer’s transmitter box just under the bench when the purple blinking of a familiar sugar skull icon blinked on the screen.

An exasperated growl escaped from him, and with every growing second the skull blinked and illuminated his room in neon amethyst light, ire grew within the pit of his stomach. The former Los Muertos member was the last person he wanted to have a video conference with, even when he was in a good mood. There was no escaping it though; he had learned that all too well.

As soon as his heavy footfalls came closer to the desk, the icon blinked away and revealed the hacker’s smirk on the other side.

“This better be important,” was his tempered greeting, his displeasure not only palpable in his tone, but his irritated expression.

Sombra gave a breathy chuckle at him. “Lo siento,” she mockingly apologized with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I forget how you much you enjoy your alone time.”

Reyes ignored her but noticed something particularly odd the more he studied her. The ever-present smugness she carried herself with was amplified with the mischievous smile that didn’t seem capable of faltering. Something was on her mind—something she just couldn’t wait to share.

“Are you going to tell me what it is?” Gabriel demanded with a threatening snarl, his arms crossing over the dark undershirt he wore. Even though the older man was halfway out of his uniform, choosing only to keep his pants and boots on, he was still as intimidating as if he was fully dressed in his garb. Unfortunately, the only ones that ever seemed unafraid were his own teammates.

The Mexican woman sarcastically crossed her own arms across her chest and mirrored his demeanor. “¡No me chingues!” she lowered her voice to mimic his and he almost smiled when she let out a coughing fit, her windpipe disagreeing with the low timbre.

“Lo tienes guey,” was his reply, an arrogant smirk this time working its way on to his face. It vanished the same moment she rolled her eyes at him. Reyes could never understand how the woman was in her thirties and still acted like an impertinent child.

“Nothing important,” she eventually divulged. The devilish sparkle in her eyes brightened at him. “I just have something to share with you.”

Reaper frowned. “If it is not important, than I don’t want to see it.”

Sombra grinned. “You do not have to see, you just have to listen. Even you can manage that, can’t you? Your good friend, Joel, said you enjoy this song above all else.”

“What?” Reyes blinked. She met McCree and they talked about their days at Blackwatch? For a moment, he felt betrayed and promised Jesse would be next on his list after he got rid of Sombra. However, Reyes knew that McCree would never say anything to her—unless she manipulated him.

“I have to admit,” Sombra began, her smile broadening. “It was rather hard to find even for me. It is such an old song, but anything for mi amigo.”

“Sombra…”

Reyes was unsure whether or not the conniving hacker heard his cautionary grumble, but it didn’t matter, because the audio file that she had been waiting to play blasted into his room. The same sugar skull icon returned, and under it the music bar moved regardless of how many times he tried to cancel the program. He grimaced, his ears in inescapable pain as the song blared so loud he was certain everyone in Dorado could hear it as well.

“You are dead when I get my hands on you!”

In all honesty, he wasn’t sure if that threat was more for McCree or Sombra. Secretly, he vowed his revenge on both of them if it was convenient.

After the lyrics began, he quit his attempts; knowing that Sombra wouldn’t let him off that easily. Turning away from the computer, he folded his arms across his chest again and paced until the song reached its conclusion. The song was one he hadn’t heard in a long time, and had recognized it after the first few instrumental notes. Music had been away from his life since his resurrection, particularly because of how much it had reminded him of his humanity, and hearing it for the first time since Zieglar’s biggest mistake, caused his cold blood to boil.

The song drowned out his wild theories on how Sombra got to Jesse and instead replaced his rational thoughts with unwanted nostalgia. There was no way to smother it, as much as he wanted to. It all came back with the intensity of a maelstrom.

Back at Blackwatch, his newest recruit let his superior listen to the songs that got him through his turbulent days in the Deadlock Gang. This song was one that Reyes requested to play a second time, and he would have never guessed that 17-year-old would have similar tastes in music as he did. It had only been a way to kill the time, to make the hours at Gibraltar faster, but it had accumulated more comradery between the two. They played poker to that song, along with many others on the list, and shared a bottle of tequila. It was something they did routinely… it was how they became better friends…

Now it seemed Jesse had a new friend, and even though their ties had been severed for years, it still hurt the stoic man at the recollection of a fond memory that would be tarnished forever from this point on.

Now, as he continued to listen to it play, he felt wrathful towards Sombra for using a sentimental memory as a joking jab. It was never that simple with her though, and there was always a subtle scheme under what she tried to display as her only intentions. It was blackmail, simple as that, and her message was not hard to translate under the seemingly innocent bout of comedy.

“I got to your precious protégé once, I can do it again, and spill all your secrets.”

She hacked him, by using Jesse.

However, Sombra’s overconfidence made her vulnerable. Did she really think that he would not kill her for this despite the leverage she thought she had over him? In fact, it finally gave him the motivation—it consumed him.

The dangerous mercenary glared down at the floor, his black form still shadowed by the opulent violet glow of Sombra’s cyber skull, he curled his fist into a hard ball; the bones in his fingers cracking from the pressure alone.

The song eventually ended, allowing a brief final message from Sombra to flicker on the screen.

Buenos noches, cabrón.

He could not wait to repeat those same words back to her soon…

———————————————————–

A/N: Inspiration for this came from the comic panel from Tracer’s comic where you can see Sombra and McCree together. Guess all you need to hack a cowboy is by using a ‘Jack’. Get it? Jack Daniels? *I am so alone.*

The song can be anything, for myself, I chose ‘Don’t Fear The Reaper.’

Meh, I hope I did okay with Reyes. This is only my second time writing for him.

Revanant Nonny, your prompt is next and I will get it done by tomorrow. Also, thanks to @kumulonimbus for help in translating.

#anon request #writing prompt #reaper fanfiction #sombra fanfiction #sombra #reaper #jesse mccree #overwatch fanfiction

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