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randomshyperson · 3 years

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Jane Banner x Reader - Cold Hands and Warm Lips

Summary: How many times can you keep Jane Banner warm for her to fall in love with you.

Warnings: (+18), mentions of murder and violence, explicit content, explicit language, cursing, smut, oral sex (r giving), dom/sub/switch dynamics (slightly), sex toys, teasing, kissing, mentions of sexual abuse, angst, mentions of trauma, trust issues | Spoilers from Wind River.

Words> +10k

A/N>is Hello all! My first time writing for Jane Banner, and well, this was intense. This is actually my early birthday present to my dear @abimess, who asked me for a story about this character she loves so much. And well, here it is. I really hope that she, and all of you, enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Good reading, everyone, and forgive any mistakes, especially geographical ones, if you have been to Wind River and things were different from this fic.

All Works Masterlist

//-//-//-////-//-///-//-//

It could be so fucking cold in Wind River.

Even in spring, when there was almost no snow and the animals were out hunting, the wind was cold.

So now, at the height of winter, you could barely get out from under the covers to pee at night.

Grunting through your teeth, you forced your legs beyond the frigid air of your bedroom, and headed into the bathroom, mentally cursing for having that extra cup of tea before you went to bed.

After relieving yourself, you almost fell over in fright when you heard a noise at your door.

"What the fuck?" You muttered confusedly, looking at the clock in the room across the hall. Three in the goddamn morning.

Another knock had you cursing before walking to open the door.

You were quite surprised to find Ben Shoyo, chief of the local police, on your doorstep.

"Good night, Y/N." He greeted with a smile as he hugged his arms, the icy cold seeping inward. "Sorry to show up like this, the vehicle broke down and it's starting to snow really hard."

"It's okay, Ben. Come on in." You said before stepping inside.

In the low heat of your kitchen, you poured some of the remaining tea while the man sat at the counter.

“How are things up here, kid? You haven’t been to town in a while.” Ben asked after taking a sip of his drink. You shrugged your shoulders.

"Honestly, Ben, it is not going very well." You confess. "Not after Natalie."

Ben clears his throat.

"I’m sorry, it was stupid of me to ask." He said with a guilty expression.

"No problem." You mumble wanting to change the subject quickly. "The blizzard should lessen in the next few hours, feel free to use the phone, the television or help yourself to food. I need to get some sleep before my shift tomorrow."

"Alright thanks again girl." Ben said before you left the room quickly.

Ben has known you long enough for you to trust him. So as soon as you get back to your room, you fall asleep.

When you wake up in the morning, he's gone. There's a note on the counter saying "I ate the rest of Aiyana's Succotash. Come to the police station and see me, I'll buy you lunch. You need to get out of the house."

You mentally cursed him. Aiyana was your neighbor. Well, you don't know what the distance limit is for someone to be considered a neighbor, but since almost all Wind River houses are isolated in small villages, you refer to Aiyana and her family as your neighbors, even if you have to drive twenty minutes by car or sledge to get to her house.

The point is that she makes the best native american meals, and because you spend a lot of time alone, she also sets some for you. It's been that way since your mother, who used to be Aiyana's best friend, passed away when you were a teenager.

Your shift as a forest ranger was reduced to part-time with homicide investigations into the dam area, so once you're done around mid-day, you drive your truck back through the city area, to the police station.

The place is not crowded, but as the locals recognize you, you greet them with shy nods and smiles before entering the building and heading to the reception.

"Good morning, Siu." You greet the police officer you’ve known since you’re little with a smile.

“Wow, long time no see, stranger!” She comments amusedly, leaning on the reception counter in front of her. You laugh lightly. "How can I help you dear?"

"I’m having lunch with Ben today. Is he around?"

She makes a little face. "Oh yes, he’s talking to the hollywood."

“Sorry?”

"The FBI girl." She says. "She arrived a few days ago, for you know why. She says she's here to help, but we know what outsiders are like."

You mumble in agreement, and Siu sighs lightly.

"But they should be finishing by now." She says. "I think Lambert will take her to the mountains."

"Cory? I thought he worked alone." You comment and Siu just shrugs, turning her attention to the reports scattered on the reception desk. "I'll wait here, Siu. Thank you."

“No problem, hon. Call me if you need anything.”

You waited for more than ten minutes before Ben left his office. And he was not alone.

You were surprised at how immediately attracted you felt to someone you were seeing for the first time.

Well, in your defense, she was a very beautiful woman.

“Y/N! Hey!” Ben greeted as he laid eyes on you. “Sorry about the time, I was finishing things up with Jane.”

You exchanged a quick look with the woman before Ben rushed over to introduce you two.

"This is our ranger." He began politely, patting you on the shoulder as he said your name next. "And this is Jane Banner, special FBI agent."

"Pleasure." You spoke as you reached out your hand to her, and completely ignored how your skin seemed to tingle at the brief touch as she greeted you back.

"I'll be going now, Ben. See you later." Jane informed the chief before she left. You waited for Ben to check with Siu if there were no calls before you two went out to lunch.

"How are things in the investigation? Any progress?" You asked as soon as you were outside, frowning slightly as the sun rays hit your face.

Ben sighed.

"I really wish I could say yes, girl." He responded by walking beside you towards the local restaurant area. "But at least we're going to pay Chip a visit this afternoon."

You were surprised to hear this. Natalie's brother wasn't exactly the talking type. And that's exactly what you said to Ben, who just chuckled.

"I know that." He said. "But Miss Banner wants to try everything. And Cory is helping us."

"Well I hope you guys find something." You say.

You reach the food trailers, and after Ben buys you lunch, you sit at one of the tables with your orders.

"How are things with you really?" He asks. "I know Natalie's death moved you, 'cause you two were close and everything, but beyond this. Have you been doing anything besides watching the forest?"

You were slightly annoyed that Ben summed up your friendship for years with a simple "you two were close", but wishing to preserve the peace of lunch, you just mumbled that the forest kept you busy enough.

"Last time you were back at my place, you were seeing someone, weren't you?" he asked casually, making you laugh. Ben loved good gossip.

"I was, but it didn't work out." You answer. "And don't worry, I'm just fine by myself."

"Well I heard that Derick is single again." It starts. "He is a good boy, works hard."

"You sound like my dad, Ben." You retort, making him laugh.

"Well someone has to take care of you up here." He comments and you laugh softly as you shake your head.

After your mother died, your father decided to move back to the southwest. You didn't go with him because Wind River was your home, but he kept in touch by phone. Since you were sixteen, the village and the snow have been your only family, and it was normal for you that people like Ben, Aiyana or Natalie's parents would treat you like their own family.

Your lunch with Ben didn't last much longer after that. He was good at small talk, but whenever he tried to ask more deeply about your life you swerved the subject to him again.

Saying goodbye, you decided to take a walk around town before heading home. You were needing to restock some kitchen stuff.

The community market was simple and small, and sold practically everything, as it was the only one.

Even so, you were a little embarrassed to find Agent Jane at the counter.

"Hey, Ranger." She greeted almost ironically when she noticed you approaching the line. You noticed she was shopping for winter clothes.

"Hello again, Miss Banner."

She lets out a nasal laugh.

"Just Jane is fine." She commented. You cleared your throat, looking away.

"It's not polite to call strangers by their first names." You retort and she tilts her head slightly, surprised by the formality.

"I really don't mind that." She gently insists. "We're not that formal in Vegas."

"This is not Las Vegas, Miss Banner." You retort seriously. "And we only use first names with friends in Wind River."

You don't know why you're not being friendly to her. But from your experiences with outsiders, it's justifiable. It makes no difference, Jane, like all those who came from outside, would be frightened by the brutality of this place and leave. Outsiders always leave.

Jane looks almost disappointed with your hostility, but the cashier is tending to her and she doesn't attempt any further conversation.

After paying for her clothes, she glances at you quickly before leaving, but you don't smile back.

When you get in your car, and drive back home, you want to believe that the emerald eyes are on your mind just because it was something exceptional in your daily routine.

//-//-//

You valued tranquility.

Even more the tranquility of your home, in the middle of a blizzard, with a book and a mug of hot chocolate in front of the fireplace.

So when the silence was broken by hard knocks against the door, you thought it was the gods testing your patience.

The second interruption in four days.

It had to be a test.

Putting everything aside, you shuffled to the front door, and barely had time to absorb a snow-covered from head to toe Jane Banner before she rushed past you.

"Yeah, sure, you can come in." You ironically mumbled.

"I'm sorry I just needed to get out of the cold." She commented through gritted teeth, hugging her body with her arms. You rolled your eyes as you closed the door.

"What are you doing here?" You asked, crossing your arms.

"Work."

You took pity on the way she was shivering from the cold, and waved toward the fireplace. Jane moved quickly in the direction and sat by the fire.

"I was supposed to meet the rest of the team up further in the mountain." She counts, her voice coming out stale with the cold. You tell yourself that you're only getting a mug to serve her hot chocolate because you'd be in trouble if a cop died of hypothermia on your carpet. "But all of a sudden it was snowing, and I couldn't see anything. I got out of the car to try to locate myself and I nearly froze to death. Luckily I saw your lights on."

"Luckily." You muttered wryly as you walked back into the living room, a full mug in your hands that you handed to Jane as soon as you reached her.

She looked surprised at the kindness but thanked you sincerely.

"So you live alone here?"

"Yes."

"Do you like it?"

"Yes."

Your short, sharp answers made Jane look away awkwardly, taking a long sip of her hot chocolate. You sighed, walking towards the landline phone on your wall.

You checked, but just as you expected, there was no signal.

Nor is your cell phone in your pocket.

Fucking great.

"You'll be stuck here for a while, Miss Banner." You warned when you returned to your place in the armchair, noticing that Jane continued to shiver from the cold. "But as soon as the blizzard ends, you must go."

"Why?" she asks curiously. You think she regretted having said anything because her eyebrows furrow slightly, but she doesn't back down.

"Because this is my house and I don't like strangers."

She looked surprised by your response. You sighed before kneeling in front of her, raising your hands to the sides of her head.

"Excuse me." You muttered before removing the burrow, watching the snow falling on the carpet. Jane just looked at you, waiting, but clearly thankful for the cold sensation dismissing a little. "Your clothes are covered in snow, Miss Banner. You'll continue to be cold if you don't take them off."

"I don't have anything else to wear."

You moved away, feeling your face heat up. That's not what you meant for her to do. You mind immediately thought of her taking her clothes, one by one, but you push those thoughts away the same second they came. Clearing your throat, you got to your feet again.

"You can use something of mine." You said. "I'll get some blankets too."

It took three minutes for you to return with a set of sweaters to the living room.

Jane had removed her coat, and you scolded yourself for immediately noticing the bulge of her breasts in the social shirt she was wearing.

Maybe Ben was right, being isolated in the mountains wasn't so good for you.

Handing her the clothes, you also pointed to the bathroom, where she could change.

While she did, you busied yourself with collecting the small mess of objects you left scattered around the room.

Jane couldn't tell exactly what she found so intriguing about you. Maybe the right word was attractive.

She just knew she was in the middle of a blizzard, in the bathroom of someone she'd only seen once, trying to figure out why her body shivered at the smell of you on the borrowed clothes.

She thought it best to be satisfied with the warmth that filled her body with the new clothes you handed her, and to completely ignore any other sensation that comes from wearing your clothes, or from being able to smell your scent if she tilted her face a little more.

On her way out of the bathroom, she couldn't ignore her own curious nature, tied or not to her work, and let her gaze roam over the photos on the walls from the hallway to the living room.

She stopped walking when she noticed a specific photograph.

"Careful not to break." You warned when you noticed Jane, standing in the hallway with one of the frames that were on the hallway table. You walked over to pick up the snow-soaked clothes she was carrying, but Jane looked at you seriously.

"How do you know Miss Hanson?" She questioned and you raised your eyebrows.

Sighing slightly, you reached for the clothes, and when she handed it to you, you turned your gaze to the photograph.

It was a few months ago, you and Natalie went out drinking with some friends, until it got too cold to be outside. Someone decided to take one last photo as a souvenir of that afternoon, which had been so much fun. It was the only photo you didn't return to her parents.

"We were friends." You muttered before turning back to the living room, intending to put your clothes on the heater.

"Has anyone come to talk to you about the investigation?" She insisted as she followed you.

You busied your hands with the snow on the clothes while Jane stood behind the kitchen counter, arms crossed, waiting for her response.

"No, Miss Banner." You muttered.

"If you two were friends, Ben should have told me..."

"Well you are here now, Miss Banner." You interrupt impatiently, the clothes properly spread out on the heater, and you turn to her with a serious expression. "Ask what you want to know."

"Where were you that night?"

You let out a short laugh.

"Here."

"Is there anyone who can confirm this?"

You ignore the growing irritation that is building in your chest.

"What are you implying, agent?"

Jane almost hesitates, and you want to roll your eyes at the way her fingers tremble slightly toward the holster at her waist.

"Nothing Miss Y/L/N." She answers. "I'm just trying to figure out what happened here."

"My best friend was murdered, Miss Banner. That's what happened." You retort through gritted teeth, and you stare at each other for long seconds in silence, before she sighs.

"I didn't mean to..."

"It doesn't matter." You interrupt. "The blizzard will last a few more hours, but we don't need to talk to each other. I have books, and you have your phone." You declare before walking past her, heading back into the living room.

Jane rubs her temples with her fingers for a moment, mentally cursing herself for having offended you, before following you back into the room.

It will be a long afternoon.

//-//-//-//

You and Jane managed to remain silent for forty-eight minutes.

You expected the cold to subside and the blizzard to pass soon for her to go away, but that's not what happened.

You know that Jane also noticed the increase in the wind outside, from the way the windows started to shake and you had to get up to put on the protection and keep the glass from breaking.

You didn't look at her when you went back to your chair, pretending to be focused on the words when your attention really was on the way Jane was hugging herself with her arms, a thick blanket wrapped around her as she remained seated on the carpet, facing the fire.

"Do you want another blanket?" You grunted grudgingly, not taking your eyes off the pages.

"How are you not cold?" She responded with another question, looking impressed.

"I am cold Miss Banner, I'm just used to the feeling." You clarify, and finally look at her. "So, you want another blanket or not?"

She gives you a humorless laugh.

"I don't think the blankets will serve any good." She retorts. "They don't seem to be helping at all."

You roll your eyes slightly, closing the book. Your gaze studies her for a moment, and then you let out a breath.

"Please tell me your socks are dry."

She blinks in confusion, looking at you and then at her boots before turning back to you.

"No?"

"Unbelievable." You grumble getting up.

You leave your book on the table and go out to your room, Jane frowns in confusion and stays that way until you come back, socks and slippers in hand.

You kneel in front of her, placing the options beside your feet, while your hands rest on your thighs.

"If you don't warm your feet, the rest won't do." You explain and nod to the boots. Jane blinks in surprise before starting to take off her shoes. "How did you get your feet wet like that anyway?"

"There was a puddle of ice at the entrance." She grunted in embarrassment.

"Oh, it's for the foxes." You comment and noticing her confused expression, you rush to clarify. "They walk through the snow, and sometimes they can't find water. I made a little lake at the entrance, but I had some problems keeping it unfrozen."

"That's…sweet." She comments, imagining you taking care of a little fox. You feel your cheeks flush at the sudden compliment, and you quickly look away.

With her wet boots and socks on the floor, you hand the other pieces to Jane before picking up the ones she's taken off and standing up.

"Thanks." She says as soon as you turn around and you resist the urge to look at her before you go and put her clothes to dry.

When you come back, she's wearing your slippers, and she looks lovely, making you smile.

"What's it?" she asks as soon as she notices your expression. You shrug, leaning over to check if the fireplace needs more firewood.

"It's nothing, miss." You retort but you can't resist. "I just thought it's not that intimidating an FBI agent in sponge bob slippers."

Jane laughed. It was quick and adorable, and it made your stomach churn with nervousness. You looked away from the fireplace to her.

"You should feel warm in a few minutes." You say. "Keep your feet close to the fire."

"Okay."

You returned to your seat in the armchair, but this time, there was a pleasant silence between you two, the tension from before completely gone.

It only took a few minutes for Jane to let out a satisfied sigh, finally warmed up.

"Damn, this is so much better." She comments with the blanket around her, and you smile at her beyond the book.

"If you want, there's still some chocolate."

As she gets up to the kitchen, she notices other photographs, and you understand that's why she's next asking "How long have you been a ranger?"

"Four years." You respond by settling yourself better in your chair. You have a vision of Jane in the kitchen, reaching for some chocolate and using the mugs from before. "What about you? How long have you worked at the FBI?"

She bites her lip thoughtfully.

"It was three years last month." She comments when she finishes pouring the drink. You notice she got a mug for you too. "Most agents get an important promotion. I got paperwork in Las Vegas."

You frown slightly, surprised by Jane's bitter tone. She walks back into the living room and hands you one of the mugs before taking a seat on the sofa.

"What's wrong with Vegas?"

She sighs.

"Not exactly what you expect when you become a special agent."

"What? rich people using too much narcotics isn't the thrill you wanted, Miss Banner?" You joke ironically making her smile.

You guys take a sip of your drinks, Jane caressed the handle of the mug for a moment before speaking again.

"I was looking for something different when I joined the FBI." She counts. "And I ended up being put to work with musicians using marijuana in the beach area."

"What were you looking for?"

She shrugs softly, looking thoughtful.

"I wanted to help people." She declared. "But really help them. Not like the local police, always limited. No, I wanted the FBI. The possibility of getting to the root of the problem."

"Do you think you'll find the root of anything in Wind River?"

Jane is surprised by your question, but you just look at her without hesitation.

"I'd like to." She says. "But it's hard without cooperation."

You take a sip of her chocolate before placing the mug on the table.

"You're not the first person to come here and make promises, Jane Banner." You informed her. "And it sure won't be the last."

"That might be true." She retorts. "But I can be the first to keep my word."

You look at her for a moment before getting up. She looks at you curiously, but you leave the room, only to return a moment later, a small box in your hands.

You sit next to Jane on the couch.

"That's all I have on Natalie." You say as you push the box onto the agent's lap beside you. "Maybe something here will help you."

Jane looks at the object in surprise, opening the box and analyzing everything in it.

"I returned almost every photo I had of her to her parents." You say with a certain nostalgia in your voice, remembering how emotional the whole day was. "But I wanted to keep some things with me."

There were friendship necklaces and bracelets, drawings, lighters, guitar picks, flowers. Several pieces of memories of your friendship.

There was also a photograph that caught Jane's attention.

"Who are these?" She asked, holding the small photo in her fingers.

"The oil boys." You replied almost annoyed. "All idiots if you ask me. But Natalie fell in love with that one here." You said as you signaled at the photograph, which was one of the only records you had of the boys, being taken by Nat herself on the day she first visited the oil company with you and the other girls. "At least Matt was the less of a jerk of them."

Jane smiled at the comment, but her expression faltered afterward.

"Where is Matt?"

You shrug.

"At the oil drilling site, I think. He works there with the rest of the guys." You count. "I actually haven't seen any of them since she died."

Jane blinks in surprise.

"Yeah? And where is that?"

"Not far." You say. "When the blizzard passes, maybe Ben will take you."

Jane is thoughtful, and you look at the box once before she's asking again.

"Can I try using your phone?"

"Of course, Jane."

It's the first time you've only called her only for her first name, and you're distracted by the box to notice. Jane almost forgets that she was going to get up to try to call the local police chief, but she ignores the way your soft gaze made her cheeks heat up to move.

The blizzard lessened, and the phone started working again, albeit precariously.

As Jane struggles to be understood by Ben amid the screeching noises of the phone call, you close the box and place it on the living room table, getting up to remove her clothes from the heater, figuring Jane should leave soon now that the snow is less aggressive.

And a few more minutes later, she's actually leaving.

"We're going there right now." She counts. "Ben will get more guys to join us."

"Right." You say, scratching your neck awkwardly. "Are you already leaving?"

"Why are you wanting me to stay?" She plays with a smile and you chuckle shyly, surprised at the flirtation.

"It's just that your clothes haven't dried yet." You say and she looks behind you at the heater with a disappointed grimace.

"B-but you can keep those. Then come back here when you’re done in the fields.”

Jane smiles, nodding in agreement. The two of you awkwardly stand for a moment in the room, before she clears her throat.

"Well I better be going then." She says advancing towards the door. "Thanks for, well, everything."

"Don't mention it." You say when accompanying her. "Watch out for the puddle at the entrance."

"Yeah, I'll remember that." She jokes and you laugh before grabbing one of the bigger coats you've been hanging and handing it to her, only to receive a surprised expression. "I'm already wearing a lot of your clothes, I don't want to overdo it."

You laugh, coming over to throw your coat over her shoulders.

"I really don't mind." You guarantee, watching her put your coat correctly. "I won't let you freeze to death in the snow, miss."

"Alright, alright." She grumbles, her cheeks flushed. "See you later?"

"Yes, Jane."

She ignores how much she likes to hear you calling her by her first name to turn for the exit.

It's very cold, but the blizzard has completely stopped. You wait until Jane reaches the car and starts to get back inside, surprised at how immediately you miss her company when you see the empty room.

Pushing the thoughts away, you start arranging the blankets that were left in the room, and the mugs too.

//-//-//-//

Jane doesn't come back.

Not for the next few hours, or for the next three days.

You'd like to say you didn't care, but you did.

Until Ben was calling you.

"Sorry I didn't give you any news before, girl." He spoke over the line. "We solved the entire investigation on Tuesday. I'll explain everything to you, come meet me in town?"

It was going to snow again, but you drove anyway. In the worst case, you would be stuck in the city hotel until you were able to climb the mountain again.

The police station seemed to be in a mood of palpable grief.

You were surprised to find so much movement in the morgue area, but you didn't ask.

Ben was already waiting for you at the front desk, and you resisted the urge to ask about Jane the moment you greeted him.

"I have a lot to talk to you about." He stated before he signaled down the corridor to the interrogation rooms. You frowned, but went with him.

"Is this about Natalie?" You asked as you entered, taking a seat in one of the chairs.

"Yea." he said, looking tired. You noticed he was limping slightly too.

"Are you okay, Ben?" You ask. "You look wounded."

"Well, I got shot."

"Ben?"

He quickly gestures that it's okay as he see you ready to get up and you look at him with concern.

"It was the security guards from the oil company." He counts. "Must have been the biggest action I've had here in ten years."

"You sure haven't been doing that much of field work then." You retort provocatively, making him laugh before he takes the chair across from you. His expression becomes more serious, and he takes a deep breath.

"Matt Rayburn is dead."

"He was murdered the same night as Natalie, by his colleagues." He continues and you let out a surprised sigh. "He tried to protect her, and he was beaten to death. She ran away, but she didn't survive the cold. And well, you've seen the rest."

Your eyes fill with tears, but you don't let them fall, feeling the anger quickly replace the grief.

"Where are the oil boys?"

"Dead." He answers. "They attacked our team as soon as we started asking questions, everything quickly turned into a hail of bullets."

You frown immediately. "Did either of you get hurt?"

"Oh yeah." He says sadly. "Lost Jake and Louis, plus we have three more agents injured."

"What about Jan-Miss Banner?" You asked, correcting yourself in mid-sentence, but it was enough for Ben to raise his eyebrows slightly, surprised by the question.

"She's in the municipal hospital." He counts and you feel your heart race. "She was shot in the chest, but she'll be fine. I think Cory went to visit her, you should do the same."

"I will."

Ben smiles in surprise.

"I didn't know you two were friends."

"I didn't say that."

Ben laughs at your defensive grimace. "You're not exactly known for visiting outsiders at the hospital, that's for sure."

"Are you saying I'm not a friendly person, Ben?" You return it in the same tone, and he laughs.

"Friendly? You are more bitter than Sui's coffee!" He teases by making you lift your middle finger towards him.

You know Ben is trying to make you laugh because of the weight of the statements he made a few moments ago, and you're grateful for that.

Sighing lightly, you both get up.

"Thanks for telling me the truth, I wouldn't expect anyone else to have the guts to do it."

Ben squeezed her shoulder lightly.

"I know how important she was to you." He says. "And I'm sorry."

"Thanks ben."

"Now go visit your girlfriend."

"Fuck off, old man."

He just laughs before you leave the room.

The hospital was almost forty minutes away, so you went back to your car.

It would snow again soon, so you'd better hurry.

When you finally arrived, after parking the car, and giving your name at the front desk to a nurse who didn't seem too willing to let you in, you finally made it to Jane's room door.

"Good afternoon, Cory." You greeted the man sitting in the chair in the hallway by the door. He looked surprised to see you out of the mountains, and honestly, you could say the same about him. "How are you doing?"

"It's good to see you, Y/n. I'm doing well." He says getting up. "What about you?"

You shrug, and he understands.

“Are you here to see Jane, I presume.”

“Yeah.” You say. “Is she okay?”

"She had surgery, but she'll be fine." He responds by looking momentarily at the door before turning back to you. "She will be happy to see you."

You shift your weight between your feet, frowning slightly.

"She…she mention me?"

"She complained about a grumpy girl at the market." He counts with a smile. "And then she was wearing a ranger coat. It wasn't hard to put it together."

You feel your face heat up.

"We didn't... that's not what...."

Cory laughed at your embarrassment, gesturing slightly.

"It's not my problem." He interrupts you by gently pushing you towards the door. "C'mon, go talk to her."

"What about you?"

"I need to visit Natalie's parents." He says. "I will be back later."

Jane was asleep when you entered.

It was definitely weird to see her hurt. It made you feel helpless. But knowing she would be okay was enough to relax you for now.

You closed the door gently behind you, and looked around.

The room was simple, and you noticed that there were some flowers just like Cory's garden in the window. He was getting soft.

You didn't want to wake her up, so you went to sit in one of the armchairs and wait.

When you did however, you ended up sitting on something, and when you moved to find a stuffed alligator you couldn't help but laugh softly.

The sound was enough to wake the woman in the bed beside you.

"Hey." Jane called out to you softly, making you look up at her quickly.

"H-hey. Sorry I didn't meant to wake you up." You say getting up to stand beside the bed.

Jane looks at you with tired eyes, most likely from all the events, but her gaze is gentle.

"One gunshot is all it takes to get you off that mountain, huh?" She jokes making you let out a nasal laugh.

"Actually I just came here to get my coat back, I've been needing it in the snow." You retort with false seriousness, making her smile.

"If you don't mind the bullet mark, you can take it."

You laugh softly, watching her. She seems to be healing from her wounds very well, the cut on her forehead is already practically closed. You bit your lip before asking.

"How are you?"

Jane sighs softly.

“Sore.”

"Beyond the physical, Jane."

She looks away, a sigh slipping out.

"Tired." She says and you nod gently. "Did you hear about what happened?"

“I did.”

She looks at you again, and you notice the tears in her eyes.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.” You say as you managed to give her a sad smile despite the way your heart aches at the thought of Natalie.

"But this is past. She wasn't the first, and she won't be the last."

Jane frowns slightly.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it's the truth." You answer, and then sigh lightly. "Do you know about Cory's daughter?"

Jane nods in agreement.

"She was Natalie's best friend." You count. "When Emily died, things changed between us. I was…attached." You say, letting out a humorless laugh. "It wasn't Natalie's fault she couldn't feel the same way."

Jane blinked slightly, understanding. You continued.

"We've started fighting a lot in the last few months." You say. "Because of Matt. I told her he wasn't good for her, and that he was just as idiot as the boys that worked with him. I was driving us to my place, but we kept arguing, and she told me to drop her off at Matt." You declare with emotion, twisting your fingers nervously. "I was so jealous and so angry that instead of apologizing, I did as she told."

"You were her ride." Jane sighs in surprise, all the pieces of the story coming together.

You swallow the urge to cry.

"If I knew they would do this to her..."

"You couldn't have known." Jane interrupts reaching for your hand on the bed. "It was not your fault."

"I drove my best friend to her killers, Jane." You retort bitterly, letting the tears flow. "It's nobody's fault but mine."

Jane shook her head, squeezing your hand.

"This is not true." She says. "It's the killers' fault, and theirs alone. Please, you can't blame yourself for this. You didn't know."

You take a deep breath, controlling your crying. Jane settles down on the bed, her free hand reaching your face as she gently wipes your tears away.

"You kept your promise." You sigh then, looking at her. "The investigation is over."

"You helped me." She retorted. "Without your help, they might never be punished. You brought justice for what was done to your friend."

You sobbed, and Jane pulled you to her. You rested your face against her collarbone, crying softly as she massaged your back.

"Thank you, Jane." You whispered before pulling away a few minutes later, wiping your face on your sleeve as she looked at you tenderly.

"Any time."

Only now did you notice that she kept your hands together, and your gaze immediately dropped to it.

Jane smiled shyly when she noticed you looking, and intertwined them completely, making you blush.

"When I get out of here..." She starts off uncertainty, and you look at her. "You, I don't know, would you like to do something?"

You smile, stroking her hand gently.

"We don't have a lot of entertainment options here in Wind River, Jane." You comment. "But I get the impression you like hot chocolate."

She chucked softly, nodding.

"Hot chocolate with you sounds amazing."

"Agreed then."

The two of you exchange shy giggles, and you're silent a moment longer before you tell her you should leave, your shifts just went back to normal that week.

"Will you come back?"

"I was thinking of stopping by my house to get your clothes. They're dry now." You comment with a smile, Jane bites her lip.

"Or maybe you can leave them there. So I have something to wear when I come to see you."

You felt your face heat up, but you managed to respond.

"You could also wear nothing when you're there."

You can feel the new tension in the air, but all Jane did was glance to your mouth, her eyes darkening.

"Wouldn't I be cold?" She asks in a whisper.

"I'll keep you warm."

You saw the ghost of her smile before she broke the distance, her lips meeting your in a sweet but firm kiss.

You let your tongue slide across her lower lip, begging for passage, as your free hand landed on her neck, and you both sighed at the new sensation as Jane slid her tongue against yours.

But the kiss didn't last long, because Jane let out a low moan of mixed pain and pleasure, and you pulled away, understanding that she was still in the process of recovering.

You smiled in embarrassment at the look she gave you as she pursued your mouth, her free hand twisting the fabric of your shirt to keep you in place.

"Easy tiger." You warned her in an affected voice. "You are still healing."

"I think you should kiss me to make it better."

You laugh, but obey, kissing her very gently this time. In Jane's opinion, too quickly as well.

Then you pull away completely, and she grumbles softly when she sees you standing up.

"I'll be back tomorrow." You say with a smile, fixing the crumpled part she did to your blouse.

"I'll be waiting." She comments with a mischievous look, causing you to smile awkwardly before bringing your faces together again.

Your intention was for a quick kiss, but she slid her tongue against yours and made you gasp. You used all your willpower to pull away.

"See you, Jane Banner." You said a breathless goodbye, hurrying to leave before she succeeded in getting you to skip your shift time.

//-//-//-//

Over the next few days, you visited Jane Banner three times.

With your work on schedule again, you didn't have time to get back to the forest station without being late if you made your way down the mountain to town, but Jane understood.

Cory also kept her company.

When she was finally discharged, it snowed.

So hard that your only option was to sit inside grumpy like a child, complaining to the walls about how unfair it was that there was a blizzard on the day the girl you liked was free from the hospital.

Then to say you were glad to see her on your doorstep was an understatement.

But happiness was replaced by worry as you remembered she had just come out of the hospital, muttering about driving to see you but barely making it through the snow as you pulled her away from the cold.

"Jane, you've lost your mind." You complained rushing to get the excess snow off her clothes, seeing her shiver as she looked at you with her face flushed. "Driving up here in the middle of a blizzard just after being shot. Crazy woman."

As you helped her remove her wet coat, she just chuckled softly at your comments, following your movements.

"I am cold." She stated, looking at your mouth while her coat fell to the floor, but you were too distracted while kneeling to unlace her boots.

"Of course you're cold! Did you see outside? So irresponsible." You kept complaining until you finished. When she stepped out of her shoes, you looked up, meeting her almost embarrassed gaze, and only then did you become aware that you were on your knees in front of her.

"Will you keep your promise?" She asks in a whisper. You swallow dry.

"What promise?"

"To keep me warm."

You let out the breath you didn't even know you were holding.

"I will."

Jane bit her lower lip, and you lifted your hands up her legs, caressing her to the fullest extent, making her shiver in anticipation as she watched.

Your hands slowly crept up to her belt clasp, and you exchanged a confirming look with her before opening it.

You could hear your unbalanced heartbeats in your ears, but you unzipped anyway.

Jane remained still, breathing shallowly as she watched you slowly lower her pants to the floor until you removed them completely, and she stepped to the side for you to toss the garment over her coat.

You turned your attention to her exposed legs again, resting your hands on the backs of her thighs, gently pulling her forward to kiss her skin at the same height.

She sighs at the contact of your lips on her skin, and you start to lift the kisses, making sure to maintain eye contact with her dilated pupils, accompanied by her flushed cheeks.

When you licked her inner thigh, she moaned hoarsely, her hand inching into your hair, a gentle but firm grip.

"Don't tease." She asked through her teeth, her breathing quickened. You gave her an innocent smile.

"I'm already on my knees for you, miss."

"And what a vision you are." She retorts in the same tone, releasing your hair to unbutton her own blouse, her gaze on you the entire time.

But you decided to continue your original idea, and reached up to her panties, reaching at the sides and pulling the item down.

With the garment off, you had a view of Jane's exposed and visibly wet intimacy, and you sighed, feeling your own pussy begin to tingle.

You turned your gaze to her, bracing your hands on the back of her thighs, waiting for confirmation.

Jane removed the shirt completely, tossing it to the floor, before working on her bra. You thought every second was being too long, and moved your face closer to her cunt, kissing her lightly and smiling at the way Jane let out a breathless moan, struggling to remove her bra.

But your smile turned to a groan as she finished removing her bra and grabbed a handful of your hair, pulling hard to make you look at her.

"Don't bite." She commands before forcing your face against her cunt, and you both moan at the contact.

Your tongue slides between her folds, and you delight in her taste, and the way she was wet and hot. Your hands firm on her thighs, and her hand in your hair as Jane lets out breathless moans as she feels all the pleasure you give her.

"That's it darling…keep going…" She guides between her whimpers, your mouth devouring her with adoration. She tastes like heaven, but she's hot as hell. "Oh... fuck....right there."

The sounds were working for you too, your pussy was soaking wet in your pants, and you pressed your thighs together as you sucked on Jane's clit and she forced your face forward in a reflex to prolong the sensation.

You suck, and take your tongue as far as it will go, making sure to press your nose against her clitoris. Her taste and smell intoxicate you in the best possible way, and the sounds she is making are almost enough to drive you over the edge.

Jane begins to shiver and whimper when she''s close, the grip on your hair tightening, encouraging you to keep fucking her relentlessly.

"Don't stop...my god...." She gasps with no ability to maintain a coherent sentence, your hot mouth driving her insane.

You feel the way she throbs on your tongue, her walls tightening around you, and you keep up your pace, until she cums.

Jane climaxes with a high, throaty moan, throwing her head back as her whole body trembles in spasms and you hold her firmly by the thighs, ready to keep her from falling to the floor as you watch her try to normalize her breathing, your mouth still on her intimacy, licking gently at her clit, until she whimpers from the overstimulation and pulls you nicely by the hair to stop you.

"Come here." She commands in a husky voice and you sigh as you take your hands off her thighs, rushing to be on your feet. She releases the hair grip to cup your face with her hand, bringing your lips together in a passionate, fervent kiss, her tongue exploring your mouth eagerly and making your head spin.

Your hands land on her waist, and as they start to go up, she gasps, breaking the kiss as she feels your palms against her breasts. You move forward to join your lips together again, but she squeezes your throat gently, making you grunt horny.

"I want your mouth." She warns as she uses her free hand to pull your hand away from her breast, using the hand on your neck to grab your hair again and pull your face towards her breast. "That you can bite."

You smile against her nipple, using your mouth to stimulate. Jane closes her eyes, giving in to the feeling of having you sucking and biting her nipples as you move your hands down to her ass, squeezing the flesh and pushing her hips against you, making you both moan at the contact.

It wasn't long before she was ready for another, her hips pushing against yours more frantically.

You cupped her nipple hard, and sucked, releasing the skin after you were sure it would mark, causing her to moan loudly.

But you could feel your edge reaching out to you, after you had tasted her, it wasn't going to take much for you to cum, and you wanted to do it on top of her.

So you reached up to her hair, tugging gently as your mouth moved against her collarbone, the change in dominance made Jane gasp in surprise.

You licked all the way from her neck to her ear, whispering "Bedroom, now." before biting her earlobe.

Jane brought your mouths together again, and the kiss broke into gasping moans many times around the hallway, until you stumbled into the bedroom, and you fell on top of her on the bed.

"You're wearing too many clothes." She comments breathlessly once your kisses have moved down again, making you smile against the skin of her neck.

You pulled away then, ignoring the dissatisfied grunt she made at the loss of contact, to remove your clothes quickly.

Jane bit her lip at the sight of you naked, but you didn't give her time to absorb anything, rejoining your mouths as she pulled you into her lap by the waist.

You thought you were boiling from the inside out, the feel of Jane's pussy against yours was utterly maddening.

Your tongues luff together as you thrust your hips forward, the friction making you both moan into the kiss.

You needed control not to completely give in to the sensation as you pushed Jane with one hand back onto the bed and sat up against her warm center.

She looked at you with some curiosity beyond the lust, breathing out of rhythm through her mouth as you bent slightly to reach the head of the bed. Your toy was there, a double dildo.

"You trust me?" You ask as you lift the object into her field of vision, seeing Jane's eyes widen slightly. You waited, and then she finally nodded.

You pulled away only to fit the dildo between you two, Jane holding her breath in anticipation. You penetrated her first, not having a hard time with the way she was soaking wet and the plastic penis easily slid inside, and she threw her head back on the pillow, moaning at the sensation of being bottom up.

You fit the other end to your entrance, settling into her lap before lowering your hips against Jane, gasping at the feel of the dildo sliding between your walls, your pussy throbbing against the plastic.

You rest your hands on Jane's waist as she gazes at you adoringly.

"You feel good?" You asked breathlessly, using all your control not to move.

“Yes.”

“You like this?” You sigh as you force your hips forward, the movement makes you see stars, but it's Jane's hoarse whimper that's taking you over the edge.

"More." She asks, putting her hands on your thighs, trying to pull you forward.

You follow her request, swaying against her lap and feeling the dildo inside your pussy, the sensation of pleasure so absolute you can't keep your eyes open.

You dig your nails into Jane's stomach, tilting your ass to ride the dildo, and the whole movement makes her moan loudly, whimpering at the feel of the plastic penis inside her.

It doesn't take long for you to find a rhythm, your hips forcing against each other in sync, the dildo inside your cunts making you both whimper with pleasure, until it becomes too much, and you feel the hot grip at the tip of your belly close to explode.

"J-Jane... I'm..." You gasp loudly, keeping your rhythm, your pussy twitching and clenching against the plastic.

"Fuck...Me too.... don't stop..."

You came together, in a loud moan, as you arched your back and Jane sank her nails into your thigh.

You collapsed on top of her, sinking against her body, as you both tried to normalize your breathing.

Sighing softly, you moved to remove the dildo from inside you two, now completely soaked with your juices, and toss it onto the mattress as you returned to Jane's embrace.

Humming sweetly, she traced your back with her hand as you rested your arm at the height of her breasts.

"Is that enough to keep you warm?" you tease, making her laugh lightly as she looks up at you with lazy eyes after cumming twice.

You let your gaze wander, and frown slightly when you notice the mark a little below her neck.

"Is this where...?" You begin as you trace with your finger, and don't need to conclude for Jane to confirm. You look away from the bullet scar to her. "Are you sure you could have put in physical effort after that?"

Jane smiled mischievously.

"Absolutely not." She replies, making you look at her with fake annoyance, which causes her to laugh lightly. "But it was worth it."

"Yeah?"

You ask with your tongue between your teeth, and she murmurs yes as she moves closer, kissing you tenderly.

It is gentler, but it is even more intimate than any kiss you two have ever shared.

Jane puts her hand on your waist, and you rest your chin against the arm above her chest.

You stare at each other in silence for a few moments, but she can tell that you are pensive.

"What is it?" she asks gently, her fingers again caressing your back. You sigh.

"I was thinking about you." You confess making her raise her eyebrow in amusement, but the expression fades as you continue to speak. "About the time you’ll leave."

"Do you want me to leave?"

You sigh, shaking your head. "It doesn't matter what I want, Jane."

She frowns slightly.

"That's not true."

You pull away to lie on the mattress, your back on the comforter and your gaze on the ceiling.

"I'm going to miss you when you go back to Las Vegas."

Jane is silent for a moment, and then she is moving to look at you, still lying in bed.

"What if I stayed?"

You turn your head to her with an incredulous expression. Jane doesn't hesitate.

"I mean it." She says and you sigh.

"Outsiders always leave." You repeat the mantra you have learned and ignore the way Jane frowns, moving away. You grab your shirt from the floor as you look forward, sitting up in bed.

"We're a one-night-only thing, then?" She asks almost angrily, sitting up properly on the bed like you. You sigh.

"I'm not the one leaving."

"I'm not leaving!" She retorts and you turn to her.

"Of course you are!" You insist impatiently. "Or do you plan on living in the city hotel for years to come? I don't know how much the FBI is paying, but I bet not that much."

Jane sighs irritably, rolling her eyes as she looks away. You're right.

"This was fun, but we need to be realistic." You continued to get up. "You're going to finish the reports and leave. That's it, we don't need to make this big."

"I'm in love with you."

You freeze.

And when you look at her with wide eyes a moment later, Jane is rubbing her temples lightly.

"W-what?"

She sighs before looking at you.

"I am..."

"Don't." You interrupt, your voice hoarse with emotion, feeling your eyes fill with water. Jane blinks in surprise.

"What?" She asks confused. "Why can't I say? It's the truth. I'm-"

"Stop it!" You cut it again. "I want you to leave."

"What are you talking about?"

"Go away." You repeat in earnest, ignoring the way your heart is pounding and you want to cry.

Jane looks at you with hurt, then lets out an incredulous laugh, getting up to leave the room.

You took a deep breath to keep the tears away, waiting long minutes to follow her.

When you arrived in the living room, Jane had all her clothes on, and your first action was to look out the window to see the current blizzard situation, but it was over. Just like your story with her.

Jane hesitated as she opened the door, looking back to find you with your arms crossed, an unreadable expression on your face.

“Is this really goodbye?” she asks with tears in her eyes. You hold hers, lifting your chin.

"Have a nice life, Jane Banner."

Her lip trembles from crying, but she just nods and turns away, closing the door.

When she's gone, you collapse in sobs against the wall.

//-//-//

The next few days are not good for you.

You barely eat, your appetite has gradually disappeared due to the emotional distress, and it is so cold that you don't feel like getting out of bed.

However, you find yourself being forced into town when your coffee runs out, and mentally cursing, you put on your winter clothes, and go after your keys.

You choke lightly when your gaze finds the changes of Jane's clothes that you had left unpacked on the couch to return to her, and ignoring the urge to cry, you take the items and the key from the countertop, deciding to get her address to mail the clothes to.

It wasn't snowing that heavily, but you keep your eyes on the road. A few minutes later you reach the town and decide to stop at the police station before going to the market.

You are very frustrated to learn that Siu cannot give you the personal address of a federal agent.

"I'm sorry, but I don't even have access to that kind of information." She informs you in a low tone, looking at you curiously. "What do you want with this anyway?"

"She left some clothes at home, I wanted to mail it." You say and regret your choice of words immeditately as you see Siu's expression change.

"I knew it!" She exclaims mischievously. "I said it was weird that she always asks about you. Since when are you two sleeping together?"

You sigh.

"We're not." You say. "Well, we did. Once. Twice. B-but that's not important. We're not together. Are you sure you can't get her address?"

"I really wish I could help you, but I can't. I'm sorry."

“It’s okay Siu, thank you anyways.”

On the way out however, you bump into Cory leaving his truck by the grocery store.

"Hey Lambert!" You call him as you approach. "Any chance you have Jane Banner's address?"

Cory looks at you with a mixture of surprise and concern.

"Thought you would know that."

You sigh looking away.

"We're not together, Cory."

"And why do you need the address?"

"I'll return her clothes."

Cory raises an eyebrow at you, but you roll your eyes impatiently.

"So, you know?"

"I knew the old one."

You frown, confused and Cory clarifies:

"You know she's moving, don't you?"

"What?"

He gives a short laugh, waving for you to follow him toward the grocery store.

"Jane talked to her superiors while she was in the hospital." He counters as you walk into the store. "I think she wanted the Wyoming region to be her area of operation. And well, nobody wants this place, so her boss made no objection to her transfer."

You widen your eyes at the whole story, but occupy your hands with the groceries that Cory points you to pick up from the shelves.

"She got a place in Thermopolis, decent price, and I think her apartment in Vegas will cover everything."

You are really shocked. And Cory clears his throat.

"You know, she's a good person." He comments. "I'd be happy if things worked out between you two.”

You look away to the floor, upset.

"Don't even go there, buddy." You asked. "We would never work out. It was special, but it's like they say, outsiders always leave."

Cory laughed at your sentence, stopping walking.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

You made a bothered expression and Cory rolled his eyes.

"Kid, when people say that around here, they are referring to tourists and land explorers." He retorts, and then his expression softens. "You know, not everyone who isn't a native goes away. Not everyone is like your father."

You feel your cheeks heat up, and you look away quickly, busying yourself with grabbing a packet of coffee from the shelves.

Cory sighs, straightening his posture as he looks at you.

"I'm sorry." He says. "It was insensitive to say it that way."

"It's okay, you're right." You say upset, controlling yourself not to cry. "My father abandoned me here without looking back and now I don't trust anyone. You can start acting as the town therapist now, Doctor Lambert!" You tease armagely before throwing the coffee into the little basket he carries and turning to leave.

Cory calls you a few times but you don't come back.

You sit in your car, trying to control the mixture of anger and hurt that takes over your chest, and you must have done this for long minutes because Cory comes out of the grocery store with the bags and knocks on the window in your car, waiting for you to roll down the window to hand you the coffee.

"The address is on the receipt." He says as soon as you put the bag on the seat. "Some of the outsiders stayed here, kid. I stayed, and so did you."

He states with an earnestness before walking away. You think about his words for long moments before you decide to drive to Jane's house.

Nature, however, seems to have different plans.

It starts to snow heavily, and you are looking to stop on the road when you almost crash your car.

Cussing quietly, you realize that it is just another driver who had the same idea as you.

Squinting your eyes, you sigh in surprise when you realize that it is Jane's car.

You reach for the clothes in the back seat before you get out of the car, hugging your jacket because of the cold.

You tap the glass gently, startling her, but when she recognizes you, she quickly lowers the window.

"What are you doing here?" she questions confused.

"I could ask you the same thing." You return, ignoring the way your stomach flips with nervousness at seeing her again. Jane rolls her eyes.

"I was just going home." She replied.

"Well, I was going to return your clothes." You informed as you lifted the change to her and tossed it into the passenger seat through the window. "Good luck in Thermopolis, Janne Banner." You said before walking away and she blinked in confusion as she hurried to remove her seatbelt and get out of the car, the sound of the door opening making you stop walking and turn to her.

" You know I'm moving?" She asks in surprise.

"Yes, Cory told me."

She hesitates, opening and closing her mouth once before actually deciding to speak.

"It's close." She says. "Thermopolis, I say. It's close from here."

"I know."

Jane pulls a strand of hair out of her face, seeming to take courage.

"Does that change anything between us?"

You frown slightly, looking away and then back at her.

"No, Jane." You reply, and she looks down at the floor immediately. You sigh, taking a step forward. "But the fact that I am in love with you, does."

She raises her head quickly, surprised at the confession. You give her a shy smile.

"You living in Vegas, Seattle, or even on the moon makes no difference to me." You continue as you approach her with slow steps. "What matters is that I am in love with you. And I will stay in love with you even if you are on the other side of the country."

When you reach her, she lets out a relieved sigh, her eyes watering. You lift your hands to her face.

"I'm sorry I made you cry before." You whisper to her. "I shouldn't have told you to go when I wanted you to stay."

She smiles, letting the tears flow as she shakes her head slightly.

"It's okay." She whispers back, her hands coming up to rest in yours on her face. "Your hands are cold." She remarks in the same tone, and you giggle, but when you make mention of moving away, she guides them to her waist, on the inside of her coat.

"Leave them here, I'll keep it warm for you." She says making you smile with flushed cheeks, as she slips her arms around your neck.

"My lips are cold as well." You joke and she bites back a smile, resting her forehead against yours.

"Let me warm them up too." She says before breaking the distance.

From that day on, kissing Jane Banner in the snow became so comforting that it made you forget how cold it could be in Wind River.

//-//-//-//-//-//-//

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rebeccccccaaa · 3 years

Text

𝔻𝕒𝕚𝕤𝕚𝕖𝕤

___________________

ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: Bucky gets hit with that god awful (but really hot) sex pollen. (this was requested)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: Dub-Con/Non-Con as per usual with sex pollens fics (although i try to write them as consensual as possible :T) Smut obvi (18+ minors dni), slight daddy kink, age gap?, public male masturbation; it's brief but still

TW: very brief mention of possible suicide

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ's ɴᴏᴛᴇs: hot

____________________

“Where are those daisies we collected from the last mission?” Tony asked you, eyes staying glued to the hologram in front of him.

“I left them on the quinjet. Fury said to wait for transportation until Shield confirms safety. It’s literally in a glass case, but whatever,” you rolled your eyes, making the older man laugh.

“Just protocol, kid,” he snickered.

Meanwhile Bucky sat with Steve eating lunch, chatting it up like old men do.

“So what did you bring back from the last mission? I saw a bunch of agents in hazmat suits,” Steve said sipping his coffee.

“Uh, well Thor said we should bring some plants back for research, but it seems like a bunch of normal lookin’ daisies,” Bucky shrugged.

“Y/n loves daisies,” Steve smirked.

“Ok?”

“And you love Y/n,” Steve teased.

“No I don’t-”

“Hey boys!” you skipped past the kitchen.

“Y/n,” Bucky said standing up with a big goofy smile on his face.

“Where ‘ya going?” Steve asked with a chuckle.

“Quinjet. Fury gave us the go to start doing tests on that plant you brought the other day,” you smiled lightly jogging to the runway.

“Why don't you ask her on a date, Buck,” Steve nudged.

“Come on, she’s way too smart to go out with a dumbass like me,” Bucky joked.

“Seriously.”

“I don’t know. It’s been years since I’ve talked to another woman. It doesn’t come naturally anymore. Wha- what’s even the first I’d say to her?”

“I don’t know, man. I’m on the same boat with you. Just… Tell how nice she looks today when she comes back.”

“Really?” Bucky asked skeptically.

“Yeah, be nice to her.”

“I am nice to her.”

“I mean be extra nice. Flatter her,” Steve told him, “Go wait in the lab until she comes back and tell her she looks pretty today.”

“Isn’t Tony in the lab?” Bucky asked.

“Ha ha, yeah,” Steve teased, patting his back before leaving to his room.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Tony mumbled seeing Bucky waltzing in the room awkwardly.

“Nothing,” he mumbled back.

Tony dropped his hands and stared at Bucky with an unimpressed look on his face. Everyone but you knew about Barnes’ little boy crush on you but he’s never had the balls to say anything. You were close to Tony and seeing as though he doesn’t particularly like Bucky, he didn’t want you hanging around him. But you were an adult so of course you hung out with whoever you wanted.

He was sure you liked him back too which never ceased to make him roll his eyes.

You walked back from the quinjet with the glass container of daisies. You weren’t exactly a plant expert but it was apparent that these daisies were mutated seeing as though the pollen swirled around the flowers gracefully. It was beautiful but then again they might be extremely dangerous considering it was a Hydra experiment.

“Hey Y/n, off to the lab again?” Steve smiled.

“Yup, gotta check these babies out according to Thor; said they might be dangerous if they’re what he thinks they are,” you said, still walking.

“And what’s that?” you just shrugged at his question unsure of the answer yourself.

“Well, Bucky’s waiting for you in the lab,” he slipped in the conversation.

“Really? Why’s-” Crash!

“Oh no,” Tony mumbled, seeing the collision in action.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” you stuttered.

“No, no. I should be sorry. Here let me help,” bucky knelt to the ground grabbed the fallen daisies with his bare hands.

“No! Don’t touch-” Tony shouted practically sprinting towards you two.

The golden pollen swirled in a misty manner engulfing Bucky completely. You stared with furrowed brows confused at the sight before you and what was going on. Bucky’s skin began to burn and his senses were being overloaded. All he could smell in that moment was you; the same scent that he got a whiff of this morning when he hugged you, the perfume and the shampoo that filled his senses when you walked passed him.

Tony pushed you out of the lab roughly throwing you in Steve’s arms who was just as confused.

“FRIDAY,” Tony called out.

“Yes, Mr. Stark,” the familiar voice answered.

“Lock all the doors to the lab and maybe turn on the a/c,” he commanded.

“Of course, Mr. Stark.”

All the glass walls and doors instantly shut and locked, locking Bucky inside. Bucky’s eyes found your and slammed his body against the glass desperately trying to reach you. You too ran up to the glass wall trying to understand what had happened to him. Everything was happening so suddenly.

Your forehead was pressed against the glass as was Bucky’s; both of you staring into each other’s eyes momentarily. In that moment, you could see his eyes turn golden for a quick second before his pupils dilated ridiculously before your eyes.

“Is he going to be ok?” you turned away.

“Y/n! Please!” Bucky’s muffled screams shocked you.

“Uh… where’s Thor?” Tony panicked.

“What the hell is happening?” Nat asked; Sam, Wanda, and Vision trailing behind closely.

“Nat,” you ran to her.

“What happened to Bucky?” Same asked.

“He- I ran- I ran into him by a-accident and the box dropped. There was mist everywhere and Bucky's eyes. His eyes,” you stammered breathlessly.

“Please! I need her!” Bucky hit the glass in an attempt to break it.

“Oh my goodness,” Wanda gasped at the sweaty Bucky hitting and practically going feral.

“Oh god, is he gonna be ok?” you teared up. This is your fault, dammit.

“I can asure he will experience no physical harm,” Thor’s voice made all of you turn around.

“Just physically? What the hell does that mean?” Sam argued.

“Well, uh… I’ve never actually seen it’s effects in person. Especially not on a Midguardian…” his voice trailed off and his eyes grew big.

Nat snapped her head, eyes widening as well. Bucky with absolutely no shame held his hard dick in his hands pumping it with his eyes trained on you. You went to turn around seeing nat’s expression but she covered you eyes before you could actually see the lewd behavior Bucky indulged in.

“What’s happening?” you asked holding onto Nat as she led across the room.

“Nothing, they’re gonna take care of Buck. Don’t worry about it,” she said quickly.

You sat in your room bouncing your leg as the movie on your TV played. Every now and then Bucky would moan and cry particularly loud making all of you wince and cringe. But your mind felt foggy simply thinking about Bucky and his safety; especially that moment when his eyes went from confusion to you don’t even know what. Hunger? Desire? Lust?

Whatever it was, it made your tummy flutter.

“Steve, any news on Bucky?” Steve stood at the doorway with a worrisome face that did nothing to ease your already panicked nerves.

“Well, as far as Thor knows the plant that was mutated with the daisies was pollen extracted from a breeding plant common among other galaxies; for species that can’t… reproduce like we do. The pollen enters the system and targets the nociceptors causing excruciating pain without physical harm. If untreated the victim can reach a traumatic state and truthfully, they will do anything to stop the pain; even kill themselves.”

“What the hell does any of that mean?” Sam grunted.

“It means the tin man is painfully horny,” Tony interrupted.

“Are you fucking serious?” Sam said in disbelief.

“What’s the cure?” Nat said.

“Oxytocin, of course,” Tony said.

“The cuddle hormone,” you whispered.

“Yup. Banner and I are already working on a serum containing artificial oxytocin in hopes to minimize the pain or even better cure him completely. We-”

“I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit more complicated than that,” Thor interrupted Tony.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, see the pollen, it’s a little tricky. The oxyputin-thingy you mentioned…”

“Oxytocin,” Tony clarified but Thor didn’t care too much.

“I don't think artificial love is going to cure the boy. If you want results, he needs to be the one he desires most. That’s where you’ll get your oxy-pudding.”

“Oxy- You know what, we can figure this out without anyone needing to have sex,” Tony groaned.

“Tony, maybe we shouldn’t-” you started.

“Nope, we can do this. We’re science bros,” Tony stormed away like a child.

“Isn’t your lab being ‘occupied’,” Nat called out.

“Shit!”

Hours went by and the oxytocin experiments were clearly a fail. The first dose did nothing. The second also nothing. The third relieved him for only ten seconds before he went back to his painful state. Since then, they haven’t been able to help or relieve Bucky’s circumstance any longer.

You thought about Thor’s words, about how the one he desires most could cure him. A ping of jealousy struck your heart but you knew you to find the woman Bucky loved and just pray that she'd help him. You made your way back to the lad area where Tony and Bruce had their new makeshift set up while the lab was locked down.

“Tony, this is ridiculous. It’s been going on for too long. You heard what Thor said about what happens when it gets too much,” you begged.

“And what do you suggest we do?” Tony said angrily.

“We need to find the woman that Bucky loves so she can help him,” you argued back.

“It's not just some woman, Y/n! He wants you.”

“What?”

“All the bastard’s been doing for the past eight hours has been masterbating while moaning your name. I’m not putting you in that situation,” Tony yelled.

You couldn’t speak. Was he telling you the truth? Did Bucky want you like that? The same way you secretly wanted him? It’s not like you haven't thought about what being with Bucky would be like before. He was perfect; so handsome and charming.

You ran back to your room where the rest of the guys still were practically out of breath; your heart hammering out of your chest and your stomach fluttering like it does whenever you think about Bucky.

“I need to get to Bucky,” you panted out.

“What?”

“Please you guys need to help me. Tony said that Bucky wants me; I mean can you believe. A guy like him wanting me? I’m just… nobody. He’s way too out of my league and-”

“Y/n, focus,” Nat said.

“Right. I- I want to help him. I know I can.”

“Y/n, we don’t know how dangerous this is. I mean, it came from Hydra, this could be weaponized and you could get hurt,” Steve argued.

“Bucky could never hurt me,” you whispered; Nat looked at you softly, understanding the situation better realizing you were probably Bucky’s only chance of a cure.

“You’re not actually considering letting her do this are you?” Steve scolded Nat.

"Are Tony and Bruce making any progress?" she sighed.

"They haven't been to even relieve his pain for longer than ten seconds," you whispered.

"Steve, this is Bucky we're talking about. Hasn't he endure enough torture in his life?" Nat said softly.

That seemed to convince him. Seeing Bucky in so much pain like he had been only years ago was unfair, especially when they technically already knew a cure. Waiting this out was pure evil at this point.

"How do you suppose we go about this?" he asked.

You devised a plan in order to let Bucky from the lab; he'd find his way to you on his own. Wanda stood from afar using her powers to tamper with the equipment. Tony frustratingly would have to run across the compound to the conference rooms to grab new devices in order to continue with his notes and tests.

On his way back, Steve and his convincing and charming ways would stall Tony's return asking him all sorts of questions about Bucky's state. Meanwhile, Thor made up some excuse to lure Banner away just for a minute so Nat and Sam could override the lockdown through Friday and free Bucky.

All the while you sat in your room waiting anxiously for Bucky to barge through the door and have his way with you.

A few minutes went by and no sign of a ruckus you'd assume would accompany the escape plan. You fiddled with the hem of your skirt biting your lip in anticipation. Still no sign after a couple more minutes. Wanting to make sure you still looked alright for Buck, although he'd probably not even acknowledge your appearance, you stood up to walk to your bathroom.

Just as you stood up, Bucky in all his muscle and broad glory slammed the door behind him staring at you with nothing but desperate hunger. Your stomach flipped when you saw him lock the door, pushing a small chair you had just next to it in front of the door under the handle.

He stalked towards practically panting and you took in his appearance. His hair was quite disheveled and sweat lined his forehead and slightly down his neck. Despite that, he still looked so handsome and sexy.

"маленький, all dressed up for me to ruin," he growled crawling up the bed as you crawled back.

"Buck, are you ok? I want to help you," you whispered.

"I'm more than ok now, beautiful," he whispered leaning into you, his nose brushing against yours, chuckling when you visibly trembled.

"Is my красивый маленький ангел gonna let me use her?" he whispered, huskily.

"Bucky, I don't understand what you're saying."

"так драгоценно," he whispered against your lips before pressing himself completely against you.

His hands, contrast between hot and cold, crept under your shirt brushing lightly over your delicate skin. You had somewhat expected Bucky to have no control and use you relentlessly, of which you wouldn't have minded, but this soft ginger foreplay was really making your panties wet.

Bucky slowly lifted the shirt from your body before tossing it to the side and removing his own. His hands cupped your breasts squeezing the soft flesh quite roughly making you sigh and moan at the feeling.

His lips attached themselves to your neck biting and sucking harshly littering your skin with dark purple marks. He nibbled on your ear as he grinding his pelvis against yours, his large erection poking your center making you even more aroused.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. It smelled just like you," he whispered.

"T- The daisies?"

"I've been craving you, aching for you. Thinking about how good you're gonna feel wrapped around my cock," he panted speeding up his grinding thrusts.

"Buck," you breathed out.

Bucky shuddered over you before stilling for a moment. He couldn't help it, your scent, your warm skin pressed against his, he couldn't hold back anymore coming straight away in his pants.

You brushed his hair softly soothing him from his high. You thought it was over, that he felt better and was finally cured but almost instantly you felt Bucky harden under you, poking between your thighs and you gasped knowing very well it was going to be a long night.

Bucky stood on his knees and pulled your bottoms down your legs nearly ripping the material. He too rid his bottoms throwing them god knows where before climbing back on top of you. You stared adorably up at him and Bucky almost came again. He smiled softly at you before kissing you once more.

Suddenly, loud bangs on your door startled you but not Bucky.

"What the hell are you doing!" Tony screamed.

"Tony, you gotta stop! This is the only way! It's not fair to him to let him keep suffering. He's done enough of that, ok?" Nat shouted.

"She's gonna get hurt," Tony sighed.

"No she won't. This was her idea."

Tony looked back teary eyed. He really cared for you as his own and putting you in a situation like this wasn't fair to you either. He really tried to help but this was just too complicated and too advanced to solve in only a few hours. They were right, Bucky needed you as much as he didn't like that idea too much.

"Fine."

Bucky lined his cock with your entrance wrapping your legs around his waist. Slowly he pushed in pulling moans from you both. You've only had a couple lovers previous to Bucky but neither of them ever filled you so perfectly. Bucky stretched you out like none other and admittedly he wanted to use his fingers on you first but he'd been away for too long it was too painful to go another second without being inside you.

"So tight and warm, little one. Feel so fucking good wrapped around me."

"Buck," you moaned.

You wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him impossibly closer to you as you kissed along his neck and jaw. Bucky moaned breathlessly in your ear and you couldn't help the clenching around him from arousal.

"Fuck, keep doing that, little one," he groaned.

Toy squeezed your thighs together and clenched around him again making him groan louder this time. His thrusts became sporadic and you moved against like a ragdoll unable to keep up with his relentless pace.

Your legs began to shake and your back arched into his chest reaching you first high of the night, gushing all over his cock. You realize he hasn't come and gently push him off you before flipping over to let him take you again from behind.

As expected, Bucky pushed into once again deeper this time and you shuddered under his hand that rested atop your arched back. Bucky smacked and kneaded your ass thrusting in and out. The lewd squelching sound of his thrust mixed with the sound of skin slapping against each other echoed in the room.

"Shit, little one. Taking my cock so fucking well," he reached forward and bunch up your hair pulling your head back harshly.

“Shit,” you mumbled.

Your knuckles turned white as you gripped the sheets as hard as you could. You were approaching your orgasm quickly and you weren't going to be able to hold back any longer. Your pussy clenched around Bucky's cock making him throw his head back in pleasure.

"Please, Bucky," you whimpered.

"You wanna come, darling. You wanna cream all over daddy's cock?"

"Yes! Fuck!" your arms shook before giving out completely; your head buried in the sheets as Bucky continued that same wild and rough pace.

"Please let me come, daddy!"

Your body felt on fire. No one has ever made you feel this good before, it was almost too much, too overwhelming. Tears brimmed your eyes from trying to desperately hold back. You wanted to come with Bucky but seeing as his pace had yet to slow down you were beginning to think he wasn't even close.

"Let go, doll."

Your body squirmed beneath him as you released all over his dick. You came with a near shout, your body violently trembling from the intensity of your high. Bucky slowed his pace for your comfort, gently riding your orgasm slowly down despite his still aching erection.

He languidly rolled you over to your back, his hands softly rubbing your sides up to your breasts. You breathed heavily, eyes feeling droopy, all you could feel in that moment was his cum dripping from you onto the sheets.

Bucky, still knelt on the bed and still chasing his release, lifted your legs over his thighs gripping your hip with one hand and his cock with the other. You squeezed your thighs together when you felt his tip poking at your entrance once again, soft whimpers emitting from you shakily.

"Such a good girl. Gonna let me take you again? Gonna let me keep using you?" he moaned.

"Use me, Buck. I'm all yours," you breathed out.

Bucky pushed himself past your folds once again, your cum easily letting him slide in. Both his hands made home on your hips gripping hardly surely to leave marks for you to remember this very moment. You looked at Bucky as his thrusts slowly began to pick up, bringing your own hands to your breasts to play with your nipples. You twisted the perked buds, moaning softly at the feeling as well as Bucky filling you perfectly once again.

"Filling me up so good, baby," you moaned, arching your back slightly allowing Bucky to hit a newer and deeper angle inside you.

"Pussy was fucking made for me," he growled.

His hand moved from its home on your hip right over your lower belly where he could feel his cock so deep poking his own hand through your tummy.

"Feel how fucking deep I am?"

You moved your hand and he pressed yours in the same spot under his and you moaned loudly, shuddering under him.

His pace quickened and for a moment he thought he was going to finally reach his high, that release he'd been thinking about for hours today, but when he felt you clench again, squeezing his cock tightly and he didn't cum, he knew it was gonna be chase that he didn't know you'd be up for. You gushed all over his dick, back arching and your legs pressing tight around his torso, coming with a loud scream of his name.

Bucky fell forward with tears in his eyes. His skin still felt hot and sticky. His sense felt dialed up to an eleven. It was all so overwhelming and all he wanted was to cum in you and hold you closer whispering how he really loved you. He pressed faint kisses to you equally sticky and warm skin and when you felt warm liquid dripping onto your skin to lift Bucky's head to find him crying.

"What's wrong, baby?"

“I can’t cum. I just wanna cum,” he whined.

“Hey, hey. It’s ok. I can go as many times as you need me to. I want to help you, let me do that.”

“Can- Can you uh… use your mouth please? I want to feel those pretty lips wrapped around my cock so bad,” he moaned.

“Of course, baby. I’d do anything for you,” you smirked before pushing him and crawling over him holding his dick in your hand.

Hours and literally hours had passed until Bucky was finally tired out only having cum three times compared to the fifteen-plus times you had. Your bed laid on the ground; the wooden stands snapped about two hours ago. Most of your sheets were torn to shreds and marks littered your body from your neck down to your hips and your knees from, well you know.

Your body shook as you laid in a fetal position. You burned between your thighs; the soreness overwhelming but pleasant at the same time. Sweat made what was left of the sheets stick to your body until Bucky pulled them from you to clean you. He used a warm towel all over your body with tears in his eyes whispering how sorry he was about everything.

“I swear I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m so sorry. I understand if you hate me now; if you never want to see me again. Just know that I’m so sorry about your bed, the blankets, if I hurt you, everything,” he sniffled, eyes and nose red and puffy.

“Bucky,” you whispered, your voice raspy and croaky from your moaning and screaming all night.

“Y/n,” he whispered back. You pulled him by the back of his neck into a soft yet passionate kiss.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he breathed out when you pulled away. You cupped his face with shaky hands but a smile on your face.

“Do you mean it?”

“Of course. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I’ve dreamt about holding you far too many times, more than I’d like to admit. I should’ve told you sooner but like everyone else, I was scared you didn’t like me back; at least not this way,” he rubbed your legs indicating the intimate love he had for you.

“Buck, it’s virtually impossible for anyone not to fall in love with you. Unless they’re Tony,” you giggled as did he.

“Can you say it?” he asked softly.

“That I love you?” you smiled brushing your nose against his; Bucky practically purred as he nodded.

“I love you, James,” you whispered.

“Fuck, I love you too.”

He laid you down softly again on the broken bed pressing light kisses all over your collarbones and shoulders. You brushed his hair with your fingers as he clung onto you ready to sleep.

“Thank you again, doll. For helping me today,” he said after a couple minutes of silence.

“Of course, my love. Besides I’m the one who ran into you with those damn daisies.”

“Thank god for them then. And for your clumsiness,” Bucky chuckled.

“Meanie,” you snorted, making Bucky laugh even more.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Buck.”

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ray-ray-writings · 3 years

Text

A Dedicated Pig-Technoblade

#3 and 47 from this prompt list! Check out my masterlist here! This is in the DreamSMP Au. I

This is a Technoblade x GN reader!

So in this AU I am making it so that your cannon lives are shown on your left wrist. And if someone types something in chat or if someone joins the server, it appears as text on your right arm until you dismiss it! If you are confused feel free to ask me any questions!

Part Two! Part Three! Part Four!

Y/N finally meets the one that everyone has been walking on eggshells over.

Y/N’s POV

I will never forget the gasps, murmurs, and then tense silence that followed the notification that everyone received on their right arm. Technoblade had joined the SMP. I didn’t understand why it was such a big deal though. Of course I had heard the stories. The horrors that he had done. The fights he picked and won. The amount of blood that had been shed at his hands had earned him the title of “The Blood God”. But when push comes to shove, he’s just another mortal man.

Everyone was a little freaked out and on edge because of the new addition to the server. I mean, Schlatt had just banished Techno’s family, his two brothers, from the nation that they created and fought for. Everyone knew that family was everything to Techno and if there was one thing Techno would do anything for it was his family. He would literally go to hell and back if it meant that his brothers and his father were safe.

Finally after a few minutes of everyone holding their breath, I scoffed, rolled my eyes, and went on with my work, cleaning up the election decorations. All eyes turned to me “Y/N” Niki hissed, “Do you not understand what just happened? He could be anywhere” I let out a joyless laugh as I looked at my best friend, “You really think he’s going to come here right away? With nothing on him? With his brothers on the run? You think he’s going to worry about coming here, where it would be a 1 vs…” My eyes scanned the crowd doing a quick mental count, “15 plus? Come on Niki, think with that big brain of yours.” I claimed, a little annoyed, as I took down a banner.

Niki let out a shaky sigh but nodded and continued helping me. “You’re right,” I chuckled at her response and bumped her shoulder, “You know I always am”. Soon, everyone went back to their own tasks, forgetting the news we all had just received. ‘See Mr. Pig Man Blood God’ I silently thought to myself, ‘You’re not as scary as you may think’.

*Time skip*

A week and a half had gone by since Technoblade had joined the server and no one had seen him. Like I had predicted, he immediately had searched and met up with his brothers and had stayed clear of the main part of the server. That being said, I should have known that he would rear his pink head at some point…

When I first joined the server, I had made myself a small farm for food. Well of course everyone found out about it and wanted a part of it. So my small farm grew and grew. When Niki built her bakery, she needed a steady supply of well… supplies. Sugar, wheat, eggs, milk, and all that. I had plenty and I was more than happy to give her what she needed in exchange for baked goods. So once a week I would haul boxes of supplies across the SMP from my farm to her bakery.

Everyone was aware of this and so on these days everyone would stay out of my way. Which is why I was so surprised to slam into someone while carrying a box of eggs to the bakery.

I let out a huge gasp as the sound of eggs cracking filled my ears as I slammed into someone. The box fell out of my hands as raw egg covered my hands and body. “What the hell!” I cried out, looking up to yell at whoever had just crashed into me. I was momentarily stunned. There in the flesh, right in front of me, stood the Blood God himself, Technoblade. My surprise didn’t last long as I remembered why I was angry in the first place.

“What the hell are you doing here? It’s bakery day, sure you didn’t know that, but you should have taken the hint not to be here when you didn’t see anyone walking this part of the Prime path!” I shouted at the pink haired man. Techno’s brown eyes widened as I verbally attacked him. “And now I’m covered in raw egg! This is not pleasant! It’s gross and sticky and cold and I do not enjoy it! You are sooooo lucky I have a change of clothes at the farm and that my chickens laid a lot of extra eggs this week or else you would have had to explain to dear sweet Niki why she wouldn’t be able to open her cute bakery this week.” I hissed out.

“I’m sorry,” Techno began with a raised eyebrow, “Do you not know who you’re talking to?” He questioned with a deep voice. I let out a loud scoff at the audacity of his question, “Of course I know who you are, Mr. Blood God,” I mocked. “So. You do know who I am and what I am capable of.” I scoffed at his smug words. “I said I did, didn’t I? And frankly I couldn’t care less about you and your reputation. You’re just a guy. A guy that has ruined my day because I now have egg all over me!” I complained, wiping my hands on my pants.

I reached down and began picking up the box and the eggs and egg shells that had fallen on the ground.“You know, I could kill you with no hesitation?” Techno claimed as he crouched down, moving his face close to mine. “I’ve done it before to many others. They blink and my sword has entered their chest. I’ve probably slaughtered more people than you’ve ever met in your life,” Techno mused, a smug smirk tugging on his lips.

I looked up from my box with a blank expression on my face, “Am I supposed to be scared of you? Is that supposed to scare me? Make me shake in my boots?” I questioned, my eyebrow raised. Techno’s smirk slowly slipped off his face. He quickly stood up and stared at me in shock, “Didn’t you hear me? I could kill you!” He explained. I rolled my eyes and also stood up. “So could another human. Literally anyone else. So could a fall from a huge height. So could a dedicated chicken. You’re not special.” I stated, turning on my heel and began walking back toward my farm.

“So you’re really not scared of me?” I heard Techno question as he began to jog to catch up to me. “Haven’t I made that clear? You may have scary stories and legends surrounding you, but when it comes right down to it, you’re a man. Well, part pig, part man, but a man and mortal all the same.” Techno let out a scoff, “Technoblade never dies,” he claimed. “But you could. You have three cannon lives just like the rest of us.” I concluded.

Techno silently followed me as I moved through the barn, replacing the eggs that had cracked when we collided. After I filled the box once more, I set it down before stepping into the bathroom I had built. “I’ll be right out. Don’t touch anything.” I commanded. Techno gave me a mock salute before looking around the barn once more. I closed the door and quickly cleaned up. I took off my egg covered clothes, washed my hands and body before putting on the clean clothes I kept here.

I found Techno where I left him. “You ready to go?” I questioned softly. His eyes trailed from my horses back to me as he gently nodded. I made my way back to the boxes before picking the egg box back up. “Is this going to?” Techno asked. I looked over and found him pointing at the last box needing to go to the bakery. “Yeah, but you don’t have to-” I was cut off by Techno picking up the box. “Let’s go” He said walking out the door. I let out a laugh before following him, being sure to close the door behind me.

The two of us made small talk about anything and everything on our way to the bakery. Techno told me all about Wilbur and Tommy’s constant squabbles and I told him all about everyone’s wariness ever since he joined the server. Techno helped me put everything away, which caused me to be done a lot sooner than I usually get done. The two of us left the bakery and made our way back outside. We began strolling the prime path and subconsciously came to a stop where the two of us met.

Our conversation died down and the two of us stood there for a moment, just staring at each other. I finally cleared my throat, “Thank you for helping me today. I really appreciate it.” I thanked, running a hand through my hair. Techno mirrored my actions with a shy smile on his face, “No problem. It’s the least I could do.” There was a slight pause before he spoke again, “Hey. Listen. I’m sorry for threatening you earlier. It’s just… Everyone I’ve ever met has been terrified of me and when you weren't… It really threw me for a loop. So… thanks. Thank you for giving me a chance.” I let out a giggle at his vulnerability, “It’s no problem…. Maybe when this is all over and you and your brothers are welcome back into L’Manberg, we could hang out more.” I offered. Techno gave me a soft smile and a gentle nod, “Yeah. I’d like that. A lot.”

“Techno!” A voice whisper shouted. The two of us jumped at the sudden interruption and turned to look at who had called the pink haired man’s name. It was Wilbur. “There you are! Where have you been?!” He questioned, marching up to the two of us. Techno made a gesture to me. Wilbur’s eyes shifted to me. I gave him a smile and a wave. “Hey Wilbur. It’s great to see you” Wilbur’s eyes softened as he gave me a smile, “Hey Y/N. It’s so good to see you too. We’ve got to go. Techno was supposed to be on a spy mission, but I see he got distracted…” I laughed at his words and nodded. “Something like that,” Techno claimed, rubbing the back of his head a blush.

“Well it was great to see you Wilbur. Tell Tommy I miss him and that I say to stop trying to decorate with things that aren’t his, yeah?” Wilbur gave me another soft smile and nod, “Will do Y/N. Tell Niki I miss her?” I returned his smile and nod. I then turned to Technoblade and gave him a smile as well, “It was lovely to meet you. I really hope this is over soon so I can show you my weapons collection.” Techno’s eyes lit up and he nodded. “It was amazing to meet you too Y/N. And I would love that. So much.” I giggled at his response and nodded. “I knew you would. Bye guys.” I gave them both one last smile before turning and headed back to my farm.

As I was leaving I overheard the next part of Techno and Wilbur’s conversation. “So… Y/N huh?” “Shut up.” “Who knows, when this thing is all over maybe you’ll get together and have pink haired, Y/E/C babies… Oh I would be the best uncle and-” “I’ll give you a five second headstart.” “Oh come on Techno-” “Five” “Please” “Four” “Tech-” “Three” “You know it’s-” “Two” “Oh come on” “One” “OH GOD! RUNNING!”

I let myself look over my shoulder at the two. Sure enough Wilbur was sprinting down the prime path as fast as he could, but Techno was right behind him. “Get over here!” Techno shouted after Wilbur. “NO!” I let myself giggle at the two’s antics. My eyes focused on the two for as long as I could, but soon enough the two were out of my view and my ear shot. Oh I can’t wait until this is all over.

There you go! I hope you enjoyed! And I hope I did the anon that requested this justice! If you did enjoy, be sure to leave a like! And maybe even a reblog or reply telling me what you liked about it! Until next time!

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toastedkiwi · 3 years

Text

Professor

Summary: newly transferred to your husband’s school, you’ve already made some friends. However, they don’t know that you’re married to the hot professor.

Pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Student!Reader, Wife!Reader

You had transferred to your husband’s university that he works at a couple weeks ago. You even managed to get into one of his advanced classes. He’s pretty proud of you and he loves seeing you sitting next to this redhead whose become one of your friends. You aren’t the greatest at making friends and he’s very happy that you found someone other than his friends. His are complete maniacs and you’re the youngest in the group. You had just turned 21 and Bucky’s 30. His friends are all around the same age or older.

You met Bucky when you were just 19. Your ex best friend dragged you to a club you didn’t want to go to and weren’t legally allowed in. She made you wear a tight dress and heels. She straight up left you at the club after ten minutes of meeting a guy and insulting you. This guy grabbed your ass which made things worse. He tried taking you home but this blue eyed man swooped in while his buddy Sam just flirts so hard with the guy while Maria, his now wife, watches from a foot away.

“There’s a party tonight,” Natasha said as the two of you sit down. “Wanna come?”

“Can’t. Got a hot date tonight,” you said knowing that Bucky overheard you as he starts writing on the white board.

“With who?” She asked.

“This guy named Luka. He’s really sweet,” you said.

Bucky smirks knowing you and him are going to have a fun time picking up after the 6 month old tonight. You and him have planned to have a nice movie night in with Luka and Alpine the cat. He honestly cannot wait. It’s the highlight of his week and he always looks forward to it.

“Does he go here?” Natasha asked.

“No, he’s actually a New York firefighter,” you said since the six month old loves the plastic helmet that his Uncle Sam got him.

“Damn, what are you even doing here when you could be with the firefighter right now?!” Wanda asked from a row behind.

“I sadly cannot fail this class,” you said.

“If only Professor Barnes—,” Natasha said glaring daggers at the back of your husband’s head.

“Glaring at me won’t change the F you got your freshmen year, Ms. Romanoff,” Bucky said loud enough for everyone in the lecture room.

“You could’ve given me a C!” Natasha sassed back.

He spins around and said pointing at her, “you didn’t show up to class. Don’t be a bad influence on the transfer student.”

Natasha scoffs crossing her arms over her chest while you giggled. Bucky obviously flashed a smile at you and you grinned wider. The two redheads quickly noticed at how fast he favors you. Bucky easily starts class as the last student sits down.

“You should be careful. Professor Barnes is married,” Wanda said as you, her, and Natasha walk through the campus courtyard.

“I know,” you said and you can’t help but smile.

“Don’t even try with that DEMON of a human being,” Natasha warned. “He’s absolutely terrible.”

“You’re just mad that you have to retake this class,” Wanda said. “Also, Y/n has a hot firefighter boyfriend.”

“I’m pretty sure Professor Barnes is not that bad,” you said.

“Awww, you’re so innocent,” Natasha mocked.

You rolled your eyes thinking if she only knew. You haven’t said anything about being married to the professor to anyone except the university’s dean of students. You just want a pretty normal college life besides the fact that you’re married and have a kid with a man nine years older than you.

“Ignore her,” Wanda said. “But we’ll see ya next class.”

“Bye,” you said splitting from the two.

You head straight to the parking lot where Bucky parks his precious Audi Rs7. You try opening the passenger door but you forgot to get the keys from your husband. He usually gives you them as you make sure to be the last to leave and so he can kiss you without watchful eyes but Nat and Wanda got you to leave before you got the car keys.

Twenty minutes later, your husband comes with the keys spinning on his finger and his briefcase. He gives you a cheeky smile.

“You can drive, dollface,” Bucky said tossing you the keys.

You catch them and unlock the car. You go to the trunk with Bucky. You open it up. You put in your backpack and he puts in his briefcase. He gives you a quick kiss on the lips.

“Oh, I called the jewelers before my first class,” Bucky said as you both went to your separate sides.

“What did they say?” You asked.

“Your ring will be done tomorrow and we can pick it up,” he said with a smile.

You grinned and got into the car. Bucky slides in and closes his door. You close yours and adjust your seat. You both buckle in. You start the car.

“I liked how you used our son as your excuse to not go to a frat party,” he said.

“He’s a great excuse. I would’ve said you but I don’t know how Nat would react to me being married to the professor she hates most,” you said backing out of the parking space.

Bucky chuckles pulling out his phone and said, “she’ll get over it.”

“I don’t know about that, James,” you said biting your lower lip.

“Don’t worry, babydoll. She’s a pain in my ass but she’ll stick around you,” Bucky said as you drive off. “Wanda will too. If not, you’re stuck with me and the boys.”

“Oh Jesus,” you said.

~~~next week

You carry Luka into the lecture room and you’re the first one in besides Bucky. Luka is not feeling too great and you couldn’t leave him at the daycare. Bucky left in an Uber before you due to two of his classes starting before your two of the day. Luckily, you got Bucky’s class first and know that he’ll let his little man into the class without hesitation. It’s quite a perk to be married to your professor.

“Hey..,” Bucky said and he’s immediately concerned seeing Luka in your arms.

“They wouldn’t let him into daycare,” you said softly. “He’s got a cold.”

Bucky takes his whimpering boy out of your arms holding him against his chest. He rubs his back.

“Why don’t you sit up in front today with my little man?” Bucky suggested. “You’d be closer to the door.”

“That was my plan,” you said quietly. “Are you staying longer today?”

“Nah, I don’t need to but I can take Bubba back to my office until you finish up your class with Banner,” Bucky said. “So that we can all go home together.”

“Fine by me. I brought extra clothes and tons of diapers in case as well as formula,” you said.

“Alright, I’ll let you go sit down with Lu,” Bucky said.

He tries giving you Luka back but he just cries. Bucky holds him back against his chest. He cooed at his little one.

“I brought the carrier,” you said smirking.

“You better pull it out, darling,” he said.

Soon enough, Luka is strapped to Bucky’s chest, you got your kiss from your husband, and you’ve planted yourself at the end of the first row. You’ve pulled out your notebook and pens, highlighters, and mechanical pencils. You took out your phone and get a picture of Bucky with Luka. Your backpack along with the diaper bag is under table.

Classmates start coming in. Wanda and Natasha stroll in as well.

“Who’s baby did you steal?” Natasha asked as Bucky is writing on the board.

“First of all, that’s kidnapping and I have better morals than that,” Bucky said looking at the two redheads. “Secondly, why steal a baby when I can make my own with my wife?”

“Oh my god, disgusting!” Natasha said racing up the stairs in the middle to her regular spot.

You laughed along with others in the room. Wanda goes up the set of stairs nearest the door and slides into the swivel chair next to you.

“That’s sparkly,” Wanda said pointing to the ring on your ring finger.

“I know,” you said grinning.

“When’s the big day?” She asked.

“Why are you sitting over there?!” Natasha asked.

“It’s near the nearest exit,” you said.

Natasha groans and picks her stuff back up. She heads over to the two of you and sits next to Wanda.

“So, When is the big day?” Wanda asked.

“Already? You’re so young and innocent,” Natasha said.

“Ladies,” Bucky said sarcastically. “I’d like to start my class unless you have more pressing matters.”

“Sorry, Professor,” you said and he gives you smile.

“Alright, I have a special guest with me, my son Luka. He’s just six months old if you’re curious and no, I didn’t steal him,” Bucky said to the class. “Hopefully, we’ll get through the lesson with little to no disturbances from him.”

Natasha and Wanda turned to you immediately as your husband proceeds with the lesson. You ignore their looks even though you find it quite amusing.

Once the class gets dismissed, you take your time packing up. Wanda and Natasha sit and turn to you. Bucky comes over without hesitation. There’s no point in hiding it any longer.

“Do you have the diaper bag?” Bucky asked. “Luka took a shit and I’m scared it’s the explosive one.”

“Yeah, I got it,” you said standing up putting your backpack on and grabbing the diaper bag.

“Seriously? This whole time?” Natasha asked.

Bucky takes the diaper bag and said, “yeah.”

He gives you a quick kiss before heading off.

“Wow,” Wanda said.

#bucky barnes x wife!reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #professor au #college au #professor!barnes x reader #professor!bucky barnes x student!reader #dad!bucky #dad!bucky barnes #fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic

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stormblessed95 · 2 years

Note

I know this is old stuff that has been discussed already but I was watchin jimin's birthday live and can we talk about the cake situation?

Jungkook has joked about making it and so it was concluded that he did not actually do it. But the cake itself, when you compare the writing to other members cake is quite telling! They are bought by the staff from the same place. The thing is, the writing is always super neat. Letters are regular, same size, perfectly alligned. The quote is centered, everything is proportional. In short you can see it was written by a proffessional. Then you have the writing on Jimin's cake.... irregular, not centered, all over the place, like it was made from an amateur. It is not enough to conclude jungkook did it, but then the quote itself which feels very personal can easily make you wonder.

Lmao okay, so here is my post over Jimins birthday vlive

I think I'm in the minority of jikookers here. But I don't think JK prepared Jimins birthday cake. I think he was just joking with Hobi since JK clarified that it said Filter because of Jimins song, Filter. So Hobi asked if JK made the cake. And he just went "yes." Lol to which Jimin looked super confused and said "sorry, I already told everyone the staff made it." And they all laughed. I don't think Jimin would lie about the staff doing it if they didn't, and I also think he would've known if JK or a member made it. They also have admitted when a member decorates the cake for the others before. So... I'm fairly confident that was JK just messing around and being silly.

It looks like JK and RM were the only ones who had the same font on their cake, maybe Hobi but his looks a bit different too. Suga had a different one and to me, the font on Jimin and Jins looks the same to me too. The letters are all different but the "i" in particular look the same. Jimin, JK and RM got quotes from their solo songs + their names. Hobi got his Instagram handle, Jin got his WWH nickname and Suga got a cat lol. Tae didn't do a vlive and celebrated by going out with friends and family. So he didn't get a staff prepared cake, or at least we haven't seen it lol

There is also lots of different ways professional cake decorators or even non professional ones can write on a cake. Especially if it's a professional who will often can change font depending on what style you want. Or if it was just the staff themselves, perhaps just multiple different staff members wrote on those cakes.

You'd have an easier time convincing me (and I do buy this a bit) that JK helped decorate for Jimins birthday, or perhaps, simply added onto the already prepared staff decorations himself. Since it was his studio and he knew Jimin was coming for a vlive there for his birthday. Plus the addition of the extra colored hearts (not just purple like the others had) and his cutie sexy lovely nickname + happy birthday, when everyone else just had variations on Happy Birthday. And the JM balloons on top of purple heart balloons. There was just a lot happening back there. Lol the Happy Birthday + photos is normal from the staff. Sometimes even the banner.... but there were more. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

But even that is just theory, no confirmation. And honestly not worth being the main focus of everything that happened in the vlive. Lol but yeah, I don't think JK made that cake, I think it was staff like Jimin said. 🤷🏻‍♀️ but that's just me!

Thanks for the ask!!

#jikook #kookmin #jikook in 2021 #jikook 211013 #jikook birthday decorations #jikook birthday vlive

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hansolmates · 4 years

Text

a hero’s journey (m)

summary; jungkook and jisoo are the mightiest power couple. however, one drunken confession and that whole facade fades in an instant. you realize that maybe you need to break from your unvaried life for a bit and be the hero of your own love story pairing; jungkook x editor!reader (f) genre/warnings; best friend’s boyfriend au, slice of life, angst with a happy ending because im weak, pining pINING, everyone’s kind of a mess in their own sweet special way, alcohol use, mentions of ze weed, toxic relationships, mean friends, sex—slight dom!kook, food play, fingering, squirting, heavy use of the petname “pretty girl” bc im weak, strength kink, manhandling (oop!) w.c; 22.2k a/n; woof! my first fic for @goldenclosetnetwork 23 | jungkook’s birthday project! this goes out to all the closet romantics *ahem me cough* who doesn’t love pining between a cutie koo? a huge thank u for vivi @eerieedits for making this bbbBEAUTIFUL fic banner!

prompt used: “I should’ve known.”

if you like this fic pls consider giving a like n’share🥺💜🥺💜

It’s so easy to ignore the world.

Maybe it’s a young-adult thing, but it gets difficult fitting into the 9-to-5 and playing to satisfy bosses that don’t entirely understand your work ethic. Maybe it’s out of complacency, or fear. But you prefer to let the world flow around you and when you’re needed, you’ll act. You’ve reached that point in your life where you enjoy the little things, satisfied by an extra hour of overtime tacked onto your paycheck, a new fabric softener, or finding the perfectly squishy yoga mat.

You’ve finally started feeling comfortable in your shoes, uncaring as to whether you’re single or drowning in college debt, happy to live a relatively stable life. You’re grateful. There’s nothing more than you need than your happiness, and the love of your friends and family.

Namely, your best friend from college. Jisoo always joked about how you two “won the lottery” as dorm rooms in freshman year were determined by lottery. Pulling numbers 883 and 884, you and Jisoo snagged a corner spot of the dormitory, leaving you two utterly cramped but utterly close as the years went by. Six years later and it’s still the case, the two of you have grown into talented working ladies. While you may not be able to spend time with each other the same way you did in school, you still care for each other.

So when Jisoo shows up teary with a rumpled dress shirt and her hair waterfalling out of this morning’s bun, you break out the good alcohol and season three of Jane the Virgin for her.

After the liquid is warm in your cheeks and you’ve fawned enough over Micheal and Rafael’s love triangle, you let Jisoo ramble.

Jisoo has downed a whole bottle of soju on her own, while you’ve decided to have a tasteful glass of wine. You’d rather be tired wine drunk than wasted on soju.

“Jungkook and I had a fight,” she warbles, stuffing a handful of popcorn in her mouth, “it was totally stupid.”

Your eyes flash, picturing Jisoo and Jungkook in quarrel. They’re the epitome of an Instagram-worthy couple, beautiful and deathly charming to a fault. They show nothing but kindness and sweetness to you whenever you third-wheel, not a lick of anger between them when you’re all together.

So a fight is something surprising. Jisoo and Jungkook, J-squared are a power couple. Saying their names next to each other just emits a sort of energy you can only akin to famous small screen couples like Troy and Gabriella or Cory and Topanga. Jisoo’s Instagram is belly full with sweet selfies of them together, the doe-eyed man always looking completely sweet and gentle to the woman in his arms.

You never piqued Jungkook as the type of guy who would pick a “stupid fight.” And you know Jungkook pretty well.

Maybe a little too well.

“He surprised me during my lunch break and he caught me talking to Doyoung and he thought I was flirting,” Jisoo is practically eating her sweater, her head falling between her flannel pyjama sleeves.

“Doyoung, as in your ex Doyoung?” you raise a brow.

She groans, glaring at you in earnest. “Not you, too! I told him it was ridiculous to get jealous, and then I told him how jealous I get when he’s around girls and I don’t need to tell him that,” she rolls her eyes, twisting her feet petulantly in her fuzzy socks, “but then you know what he says back?”

You wince, swirling your wine glass, “That you’re crazy?”

“That I’m crazy, exactly! How did you—” her bloodshot eyes zero in on you, where you’ve tucked yourself in the corner of the couch. You swirl the ruby liquid in your cup, watching the feet web around the cheap crystal, “you think I’m crazy too, don’t you?”

You swallow your sigh, taking your time to finish your liquid in languid sips. Uneasy, you wish you could just sink through the couch in order to avoid this conversation. Jisoo’s heart is generally in the right direction, but in terms of emotions she has the kind of sensitivity that you prefer to ignore rather than tread. Jungkook is also equally emotional, but in a different way. He wears his heart on his sleeve, preferring to keep things straight as opposed to bottling it up like Jisoo.

However the theoretic bottle has reached it’s brim and Jisoo’s tipping, fast.

“I need to tell you something,” Jisoo is swerving, crawling like an infant on wobbly limbs to reach your corner of the couch. You almost stop her, tell her you can continue this conversation in the morning, it’s what you normally do when she drinks into a stupor. But tears are swimming in her glassy caramel eyes and she’s grappling onto your blanket, resting her head in her lap.

Her glossy russet strands curtain her head, so you don’t see the expression on her face when she says her next words:

“Jungkook told me he liked you senior year, and I told him you weren’t interested so I’d have a chance.”

Wow. So that explains everything.

The memories that you’ve tried so hard to brush away, the feelings you’ve tried so hard and continue to try to suppress, are laid out in front of you on a rusted platter. You could laugh, you could fling the rest of the Pinot Grigio down your throat like fresh water on a hot day and call it a night.

But instead you choke back your tears, and push her off because you’re hurt.

Deep down you know you would’ve been less upset if she told you the week after Jisoo and Jungkook called it official. If you knew from the beginning, it would’ve been easier on your heart. But it's been over two years since the past, thinking you’ve been needlessly, stupidly, delusional in thinking that you could’ve possibly had a chance with Jungkook.

Because it could’ve been you. And the reason why Jisoo and Jungkook fought today? Now you know it’s because deep down, they know they’re each other’s second choice.

You can’t even recall a time where Jungkook and Jisoo were together alone before they suddenly started dating, remembering how it used to be you and Jungkook before Jisoo found him one day in your shared apartment, utterly smitten. And now you know you weren’t delusional, because the feelings and the signals you two were exchanging in senior year was real.

But it doesn’t stop the fact that over two years have passed. Two years of a serious relationship between Jisoo and Jungkook, and two years of you secretly loving him from an arm’s length.

“You hate me,” Jisoo removes herself from you, voice trembling. The quick, dark part of your mind wants you to snap back of course I hate you. You’ve trusted Jisoo with your life all these years, she was the reason you got through college so gracefully, why you enjoyed the past seven years of your life.

But the sentiment is stained, and all you can do is deliver a tired smile and stand up. “I don’t hate you,” you say, “I’m just, really overwhelmed. I can’t lie and say that I’m not hurt,” your fingers clutch the fake crystal in your grasp, and for once you’re thankful you’re not strong enough to break it, “but you two love each other now and there’s no point in dwelling in the ‘what-ifs’.”

Now that you think about it, when was the last time Jisoo treated you like a best friend? You stare at your wine glass, thinking that the only time comfort is provided in this apartment is when Jisoo is upset, never when you’re upset.

Jisoo bobs her head senselessly, agreeing to every word. It’s pathetic, seeing her on her knees and her eyes glimmering with the hope that you’d forgive her straightaway. She must feel awful. That’s good.

You sigh, needing to be the bigger person. “You need to call Jungkook and tell him he has nothing to worry about though, after all, you two have history now. As much, if not more than Doyoung.”

“Right,” she replies, biting her lip. It suddenly feels like you're talking to a wall, carrying a conversation that's long ended.

“As for us,” you have half a mind to slam your glass on the counter, but instead you give it a heavy hand, letting slowly thump to the coffee table, “I don’t think I want to see you two, for a while.”

“Understandable.”

“And I don’t want to help you move out anymore,” I just want you gone.

“Right,” she whispers. The both of you will be completed with your lease in two months, and Jisoo and Jungkook have decided to move into Jungkook’s apartment. As for you, you haven’t decided as to whether you want to go through the whole process of moving out or looking for a new roommate.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so fucking sorry. I just was insecure as fuck in college and Jungkook was the first person I met in a long time that helped me feel more… like me.”

You want to say that she's right, she’s selfish. Her excuses aren’t palpable anymore. It’s too late. But if you were in Jisoo’s shoes, you’d think this apology is mere crumbs in comparison to your friendship. Why isn't she trying harder? Maybe because she doesn't know any better. After all, you never told her what you felt for him has morphed into love.

You don’t even have to ask as to whether she’ll tell Jungkook this or not, you now know honesty is not her style.

Jisoo doesn’t get a goodnight and a drunken kiss on the forehead like she usually does whenever you two have your late night talks. Instead, she seals herself to her own demise as you slam the door to your bedroom, effectively shutting each other out.

Work is a bitch the following morning. You’re like molasses, rolling out of bed despite the whole world and its mother telling you to go back to sleep.

Your feet are killing you as you make your walk to work, deciding to wear a pair of red-backed heels so you can stomp your way through your day.

Your Wusband (Work-Husband) Kim Namjoon matches you step-for-step, eyes glued to his phone as he catches you on the sidewalk. “Woman on a mission,” he comments absentmindedly, eyes glued to his phone as he follows the click of your shoes to your favorite cafe.

You spare a glance to your right hand-man, eyeing him appreciatively at his dedication to your morning routine. He’s your favorite co-worker, one who keeps you on time to your meetings and keeps you sane when you want to pull your hair out and dig out a coffin in your little cubicle. Namjoon’s long legs always seem to catch up with you during your workweek, whether it’s to get coffee in the morning or to talk shit about the latest gossip in the breakroom.

The bell of the glass door tinkles in your ears as you enter the café, relatively busy for the morning rush. While you wait in line, Namjoon ticks off your activity list for today.

“Meeting with Victoria is cancelled this morning,” you groan in relief, your supervisor Victoria always scares the shit out of you even when she’s not doing anything, “and just the usual proofing and whatever we have to do on the third floor today—can I get a large iced Americano with a pump of caramel? Thanks,” Namjoon moves aside so you can throw your order in as well, “and after work could you stop by Vernon’s? He took a sick day today and he has most of the manuscripts for the next issue.”

“Done and done,” you swipe your card in the dip, tucking your card away in your zippered pouch. “So like, do Americanos taste any good? Like it’s literally watered down espresso how do you pay to drink watered down tar—”

Jungkook’s at the pick-up counter. Jungkook’s at the pick-up counter swirling stray sugar crystals with his thumb and putting them in his napkin. What an impeccable display of Virgo energy, absentmindedly cleaning things he has no business doing. You scoff to yourself, recalling this morning that Jisoo got off the phone this morning with a stupid smile on her face. From the mirror image that Jungkook is excluding while he’s smiling on his cellphone like a smitten teenager, it seems like they’ve made up.

Nevertheless the hurt from last night is still fresh in your bones, and you force yourself to look away despite the fact that your morning pick-me-ups are almost done and are sitting tauntingly next to Jungkook’s elbow. Does he really need to learn against the counter like he owns it? Hair slightly damp from the shower, your heart beats a little faster at the fresh image.His biceps are straining against his charcoal lycra long sleeve, which is slightly damp from his morning run. Snap out of it! You are a mature, working woman who does not swoon in the view of bulgy muscles, especially when the man who owns those muscles is taken. Suddenly there’s a call of your name, and two cups and a paper bag are put in front of Jungkook.

He blinks, and you immediately pale when you see his eyes flit over your name surrounded by your favorite coral pink beverage. You feel struck as his head perks up at the name and he narrowly makes eye-contact—

“The fuck you’re doing,” Namjoon gripes, shoving your guava iced tea and croissant in your chest, “standing there like a moron as if we don’t got shit to do today.”

“Sorry,” you mumble, pulling at the brown paper bag to tug a piece of croissant between your teeth. The warmth, buttery pastry melts in your tastebuds. Ah, bread. Nothing like a little bit of carb to make you feel better.

You’re suddenly thankful for Namjoon’s gargantuan torso from effectively blocking you from Jungkook, hauling you out of the coffee shop like a petulant toddler. He doesn’t even give you a chance to catch another secret look at the object of your affections, making sure you’re back in your work game before you enter the building. Even if he doesn’t know it, Kim Namjoon’s always got your back.

Or in today’s case, breathing down your back.

Without your third editor and a hard deadline coming up by the end of the week, you and Namjoon are working in tandem throughout your 9-5 to complete drafts for Big Hit Publishings Arts & Media section. Both of you take turns to bring snacks and feed each other, feeling like reading zombies and slaves to your desk as you remind each other to breathe throughout the whole ordeal.

In complete honesty you don’t totally mind. Namjoon is a great partner-in-crime, and you both love what you do and do a damn good job at it. You call it “Buzzfeed but with Benefits.”

And at least for today, you could quell the feelings in your chest from last night and this morning. Sure, you’ve always been okay with the pining you’ve had for Jungkook. The feeling comes and goes whenever it pleases, and since yesterday you’ve been okay with just admiring from afar and being their third wheel.

However, now the feelings are acutely comparable to a third-degree burn with the help of Jisoo playing with fire.

With a quiet exhale, you concede in your gaming chair (because it’s just so damn comfy to keep in the office.) You’re an adult and not a petty child, and you will not let this piece of information derail you from your calm, stable lifestyle.

But honestly? Fuck Jisoo.

“Let’s go, buckaroo,” Namjoon logs off for you, the cinnamon-y smell of his shampoo effectively waking up your senses, “it’s already 5:30. And you said you’d stop by Vern’s to get his drafts.”

“Right,” you blurt, mindlessly putting away your papers and snack wrappers in your bag. You can’t believe the whole day’s gone already.

“Maybe you don’t even have to go to his apartment. Just text him or whatever.”

“Sounds good, thanks Joonie.”

“And y/n?” Namjoon gives you a look that causes you to force a terse smile, one you give one too many times to higher-ups at work. It isn’t to insult Namjoon by any means, but you guys are partners, the kind that tell way too much but hide just enough to remain close from afar. “Take it easy, will you?”

“I will,” you concede, stretching your arms, “I’m def overdue for a massage.”

“You don’t look sick,” you scoff, taking in the casual look your co-editor boasts as he leans casually against the doorway.

Hansol Vernon Chwe is the epitome of fluffy, decked out in large electric blue sweats and his russet brown hair curling softly above his porcelain skin. Not only is he your co-editor, but also a friend from college. Not to the extent that you were with Jisoo and Jungkook, but you operated in the same publishing club and managed to get partnering internships that made you the co-workers you are today. You see a little bit of that collegiate youth in Vernon right now, as he looks well-rested and fresh faced despite the fact he probably didn’t apply moisturizer or drink enough water today.

“But you kinda do,” he tilts his head, noting the heels that adorn your feet, “you’re wearing your sexy shoes today, that means something’s going on.”

“Gee, ever the ladies’ man,” you scoff, getting under his arm to invite yourself inside, “all I want is the completed interviews so we can pick out the best parts and draft them. Then I’ll be on my merry way.”

“Oh c’mon, we’ve been talking nothing but work this whole damn month. What happened to college when we’d talk hours about House Hunters, the safeness of library sex, that little furry thing in Lincoln Hall’s urinal? That was prime conversation.”

“Vern, I’m just here for the drafts,” you sit at his tiny kitchen table, glaring at his open laptop.

“You could’ve just emailed me,” he teases, twisting around his chair so he can rest his arms against the back. “But since you’re here, that means you probably wanna spill some tea but you’re too upset to admit it.”

“If I talk will you stop talking like that?”

“Yes. Give me the juicy details. Need some juicy juice.”

“Nevermind, get out of my apartment.”

“Uh, this is my apartment.”

“My point still stands,” you make another face at his outfit, “you look like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.”

Vernon purses his lips, scooting his chair closer to yours. He’s unfazed by your insult, far used to your defenses being higher up than Fort Knox. He looks up at you with his pretty lashes and deceivingly sweet caramel eyes, leaning his head along the backrest. “C’mon, tell me what’s bothering you,” he says in a gentle tone, coaxing you open.

He always knew how to do it for you, a little bit of sweet talking and that clear open gaze always reduced you to shreds in university. For him, it always took a good meal and some sci-fi movies to get him to talk. That must be why you’ve stayed friends for so long, you two knew how to connect.

Finally you crack, kicking off your shoes and hoping the sharp end doesn’t land on his cat. You hear Luna meow in protest but she’s got great reflexes. Unbuttoning the first three buttons of your stuffy blazer, you air out your cleavage, not caring about Vernon’s gaze. He’s seen worse.

“Remember Jeon Jungkook? Majored in graphic design.”

“Ah, yeah. The guy who like, lived at the gym and the dining hall? Haven’t seen him in a minute,” his eyes seem to glaze over the glory days, reminiscing in the simultaneous safetynet and stressor that made up your early twenties, “didn’t you guys hit it off real well? Like I remember you ditched like—three sci-fi nights to study with him. Who even studies at 1AM?”

“Yeah, we did,” and you can’t help but frown at as you remember the 7-Eleven runs, the utter warmth you felt when he would wipe a stray rice grain off your cheek, and how happy you felt to laugh so much with him it hurt, “but uh. Jisoo got drunk last night, because they had a fight. And she sort of admitted to me that she sabotaged our relationship and told Jungkook I wasn’t interested in him so they could start dating. Two years later and here we are.”

A pause. And then, “Want a beer?”

Vernon doesn’t even wait for a response when he gets up, bare feet slapping against the tile as he prepares some drinks and snacks for you.

“That’s pretty fucked up,” he practically sing-songs among the cacophony of popcorn pop-pop-popping in the microwave. The aroma of buttery kernels is all but a relief, reminding you of movie matinees, “and like, she knew you liked him! It was totally obvious, even if you didn’t spell it out for her.”

“Yeah,” you practically gushed to Jisoo those past two months, every waking moment with heart-eyes over the talented graphic designer Jeon Jungkook.

“I can’t believe Jisoo would keep that a secret from you for so long. Like, can you even trust her anymore?”

“Don’t know, was she even my bestfriend or was I just a good roommate to her?” you ask. Vernon is holding two beers in one hand and a bag of popcorn by the tips of his fingers in the other, careful to not burn himself. Opening the beer for you, you thank him and take a long swig.

“Well, good thing you’re still not in love with him or whatever. That would really suck. Unless—”

The look on your face says it all. You’re practically snotting into your bottle, your face tucked into your chin as you fight hard to stop the tears you’ve been suppressing for the last two years. “Don’t give me your pity,” you garble, turning away from the sad look Vernon gives you as he wraps his arms around you.

The tears are soft and gentle, flowing freely onto the cotton of Vernon’s arms as you let it out.

“‘M’not,” he concedes, rubbing his chin into your neck. He really is a lot like Luna, just like his cat ready to give you affection. “Let’s just, get some take-out and watch Hamilton or something.”

He lets you wear his matching sweat suit, lime green, as you order Thai food and rap along to Hamilton’s sick beats. Vernon does a better job keeping the flow, but you’re having a good time being his hype man as he parades around the living room like it’s 1776.

You go home that night around ten o’clock, feeling noticeably lighter and more relaxed. Be that it may you are still wearing the sweatpants and heels ensemble, you feel comforted.

The apartment is quiet when you walk in, not a single light turned on. You get a slice of the city lights bleeding in from the organza curtains, which allow you to kick off your heels and hobble to where you think the kitchen counter is.

Today is Jisoo’s day to cook dinner. You can tell she decided to cook today from the faint smell of Japanese curry and a small unwashed plate in the sink. Whenever it was someone’s turn, they usually left an extra bowl or serving in it for the other roommate when they got home. Unsurprisingly, you find no such thing on the counter or in the fridge.

You’re not upset, but rather decided. If Jisoo is going to let your friendship fade off with no intention of redeeming herself, then you should give her the same amount of energy back. You realize now the apology she gave last night wasn’t for you, but empty words to make her feel better and mend whatever toxicity she’s created in her own relationships. People like Namjoon and Vernon reminded you that you didn’t need to try and earn other people’s friendships.

It’s disappointing, but the feeling is all but too familiar.

If you could describe Jisoo as anything, it would be the color pink. Blushing, beautiful, beguiling pink. The way she flushes when Jungkook does an uncalled for grandiose gesture of romance, or when she wears a hot magenta number when she’s hosting a fashion show. Jisoo is the personification of La vie en rose, unbothered and unabashed.

But now all you see when you think of Jisoo? Nothing but red.

With that, you go in your room and untack the polaroid of you and Jisoo at the carnival last month, putting it away in your junk drawer to be forgotten.

“You’re running away.”

“Am not.”

“Are too,” that interjection comes from Vernon’s roommate, Jung Hoseok. He’s been watching you two bicker over work for the past hour while he plays GTA5, failing to get a good hard carry because you and Vernon are too busy discussing whatever finishing touches you need on your final draft.

“No one asked for your opinion, Jung,” you throw over your shoulder.

“I’m just saying,” Hoseok flicks his wrist and nabs a tank, “you never wanna go home, you eat all our food, and I found your pyjamas in my laundry basket.”

“You said your basket was the blue one,” you hiss under your breath.

“The navy blue one,” Vernon chirps unhelpfully, “not the electric blue one.”

Hoseok hits “save” on his campaign, disconnecting from his PS4 and stretching his lean limbs. “I mean, we could use a third roommate,” Hoseok jokes, getting up from the couch and grabbing a handful of M&Ms from your bowl, “you do make a bomb mac n’cheese.”

“Appreciated,” you relent when Hoseok presses a kiss to your cheek and tells Vernon he’ll be back late working, leaving you and Vernon alone in their shared apartment. When Hoseok is gone, you stare at the door, tilting your head, “y’know,” you remark, “Hoseok’s a cool guy, why did I never hang out with him in college?”

“Because he was stoned the majority of senior year and you just didn’t vibe with that crowd.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“But, you’re trying to change the subject,” Vernon carefully untacks your hands from your keyboard, knowing that you two have already been done with this month's issue and you’re now just mindlessly re-reading emails. “You’ve been here since Thursday, and now it’s Saturday. And as much as Hoseok and I like having you around so you can wake me up before we go to work, it’d be nice to throw me a bone and let me in on what you’re thinking right now.”

You frown, noting Vernon’s large hand covering your laptop closed. He isn’t going to remove his hand anytime soon unless you talk. “Jungkook’s helping Jisoo pack up her half of the apartment this weekend and I don’t want to be there,” you say, short and simple.

“You miss her?”

“Yeah,” you admit honestly. You hate this version of yourself, unable to even look at Jisoo nowadays despite the fact you’re under the same roof for the remainder of the month. It’s hard to believe that the roommate from six years ago finally got under your skin, cancelling out all the years of friendship because of one silly relationship, “sad she doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.”

“Did you talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you reply despondently, “if she cared at all she would’ve to apologize again by now.”

Vernon figures, and his neutral expression doesn’t change as he leads you to the couch, brushing away Hoseok’s things so you two can get comfy. You busy yourself with the remote, exiting the PS4 homepage to scroll Netflix.

“And are you trying to get over him?”

“I mean, yeah,” you have been, but it’s a little hard when you’ve been contentedly pining. It was easy to keep your feelings bottled up because you originally thought Jisoo and Jungkook were meant to be for each other for the past two years. Now you're still pining but ruefully bitter at Jisoo.

“It’s not fair, y’know. She broke girl code, bros before hoes. Or is it chicks before dicks?” Vernon shakes his head at his lame attempt to get you to smile, which works anyway because Vernon’s silly and his sense of humor always gets you a little loose. “It’s your house too, you shouldn’t feel like you don’t belong there.”

“Well I was supposed to help her move out this weekend, and I’d prefer it if Jungkook didn’t know what was going on.”

“What?” your friend furrows his thick brows together, tucking his hands under his knees as he leans into your stubborn expression. “You’re gonna let Jungkook go on with his life not knowing that his relationship is based on a lie. That’s not cool. Even if you’re into him, he’s still your friend.”

Damn, when did Vernon get so good at giving advice? Truth is Vernon’s always been good at dishing advice, you’ve just been privy to what you wanted to reveal to him. The first year or so being together outside of college was always about work, saving each other’s asses to ensure you two got that promotion and aim higher and higher. Now that goal is out of the way, and what better way to reconnect over some shoddy romance straight out of a Degrassi special?

“I know,” you hug your knees tight to your chest, “when I’m ready, okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees, because he’s not a pusher, “do you know the best way to get over someone?”

“What?”

“The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone," he emphasizes that point with his hands, sliding one under the other with a wiggle of his thick brows.

You slap him on the shoulder, “Vern, you disgust me.”

“But it works!”

“I’m not going on Tinder to find a fuckbuddy.”

“You don’t have to look on Tinder or Tumble.”

“Bumble.”

“Whatever,” and his eyes flicker to his lap, where his pale fingertips turn red as he grips the edge of a throw pillow. "If you really don't wanna find someone, I can help."

Is Vernon offering himself up? He is offering to fuck your brains out in the hope that you could inevitably fuck out your interest in Jungkook? Your eyes flicker over to Vernon's form on the couch, who's tucked in the couch just as you are.

It’s true that you find Vernon attractive, and to some extent he definitely finds you attractive as well otherwise he wouldn’t have suggested the idea. It’s just that in college you never viewed him in that kind of light, probably because you were always so caught up in Jungkook. But tonight you can’t seem to ignore the eagerness hidden in Vernon’s carmine gaze, and how shiny and touchable his chocolate locks look under the setting sun.

“I don’t want our friendship to change,” you reply slowly, furrowing your brows. “I appreciate it, but I don’t know. It sounds like a temporary fix.”

“Can’t knock it if you don’t try it,” and out of curiosity, you don’t shy away when Vernon leans over to you, squeezing himself between the couch so he can tuck you in his arms. “I want to help you, but only if you want to.”

Maybe it’s the frustration you feel with Jisoo, Jungkook’s ignorance, or the fact that you haven’t felt physical pleasure in such a long time, but you soften into Vernon’s hold. He’s relaxed, nothing betraying him as he waits patiently for your answer. You’ve always admired how much he kept up his “cool as a cucumber” demeanor. He isn’t the type of guy to let life pass him by, but he’s the kind of person who walks along life, embracing the ups and downs like old friends. He’s the ocean waves that crest along the shore, pushing and pulling along without a care in the world.

He’s the textbook opposite of Jeon Jungkook, which is why you give Vernon the okay to lean in and press his lips against yours.

His kisses are soft, and he takes great care in making sure you’re comfortable with this new step in your relationship. It almost feels as if you’re cutting corners, and you can’t help but feel a little guilty that you revel in the way Vernon’s hands trail under your too-large t-shirt.

The pleasure you’ve ached for is there, bubbling low in the pit of your belly. It’s hard to get you out of your mind however, because this man isn’t the one you love. His kisses hold no power, only brief reprieve. Your heart doesn’t palpitate and your palms don’t sweat, you’re just languid.

You’re greedy and selfish, but you remind yourself that it’s okay to allow yourself of these freedoms, even for a little bit. As Vernon finds your sweet spot that has you rolling your hips against his, you find that temporary fix isn’t a bad start at all.

When you trudge back to your apartment that night after much reluctance, your face is still flushed and you think you smell a little too much like Vernon’s cologne. But the fact that still stands is that you're satiated, and you feel a tiny percent closer to moving on.

The television is glowing with a terrible reality TV show, angry brides upset over cake layers or whatever. Jungkook and Jisoo have fallen asleep on the couch, surrounded by half-empty boxes. Jungkook has his arm lazily over Jisoo, her petite body fitting perfectly between his chest and the crook of his neck.

You scoff when you spy Jisoo's bedazzled manicure digging into Jungkook's bicep, as if someone's going to take him away if she doesn't hold tight.

With stiff muscles you spare one look at Jungkook, ignoring the pang in your chest as you weave between boxes to turn the TV off. Barely an iota of your feelings have dissipated since your previous tryst with Vernon not an hour ago. Looking at Jungkook brings it all back, unfortunately. You suppose the feelings will pass with time. The soft hum of the television ceases, and you’re bathed in a room that feels dark and empty, despite the apparent life in the room.

There’s some bleary talk coming from the couch as you walk to your bedroom, and if Jungkook is sleepily mumbling your name in question, you pretend you don’t hear.

“So, where’s y/n? I thought she was going to help us pack.”

It’s an innocent enough question, as Jungkook scans the corner of the living room hallway that leads to the bedrooms. You haven’t come out yet. He knows that you love sleeping in on the weekends, but he hopes the smell of fresh food will coax you to the table. His pan is sizzling in protest, telling Jungkook to quit talking and flip the hashbrowns. He's fried up three, in the hopes you’d be up for some crispy potatoes. He knows how much you love potatoes, especially at 2AM when you’re craving fries and a McFlurry combo.

Instead Jisoo mutters, “You toasted too much bread, you know I don’t eat bread like this,” she’s pulling slice by slice out of the toaster, until there’s a stack of six golden toasts in the middle of the kitchen table.

A little part of him wishes to quell the precursor to the argument there. It would be so easy for Jungkook to say, “the extras are for me” because he’s trying to gain weight, and that would be that.

Instead he continues with his unanswered question and replies honestly, “I made extra toast for y/n, babe. She was supposed to help us pack but I haven’t seen her all weekend.” But he’s pretty sure you came home last night, unless that was his imagination.

Jisoo pulls a carafé of apple juice out of the fridge, pouring the amber liquid into two glass cups. “Ah, she said she had some last minute things to do for work. Y’know, Big Hit always wants a big hit.”

He chuckles, tilting his head as Jisoo gives him a small smile from the kitchen table. Jisoo is always good at cheesy jokes. “She must love her job, huh.”

“Yeah.”

“Her articles are really good, too,” the air smells like butter and Italian seasoning, as he places one hash brown on Jisoo’s plate, and two on his. He knows you edit in the Arts & Media section, and loves how you make it a point to include video games and modern graphics when it’s deemed appropriate. “She did a piece on the evolution of RPG and I thought her commentary was really spot-on.”

He brings breakfast over to the table, while Jisoo places two slices of toast on his plate, one buttered and one with strawberry preserves. Breakfast is a quiet, but peaceful affair. Jungkook takes note of how Jisoo takes extra long to complete her meal, her fork creating ribbons in her little blob of magenta jam. He allows himself to complete his first hashbrown and a slice of toast before asking the difficult question.

“Are you and y/n okay?” and he also takes note when Jisoo’s ministrations on her jelly stop, as she looks up at him with her big brown eyes.

“We’re fine,” she insists, “just normal roommate issues, I promise.”

“Maybe I should text y/n,” Jungkook says, pulling out his phone. “Lemme help you fix this, wouldn’t want you and her in a bad place when you’re about to move out.”

“Baby, why are you so concerned about y/n?” Jisoo croons while his thumb hovers over your contact, his screen showing a two-year old selfie you two took during a study session early on in your friendship. He can’t remember the last time you two took a picture together out of spite, one without Jisoo. Jisoo’s hand pulls him away from his phone, rubbing small circles between his palm.

He wants to ask, why aren’t you? But he sees the terseness in Jisoo’s smile, as her eyes fix between the interlocked fingers. He has a feeling he’s hovering somewhere he isn’t allowed to be in. Maybe it really is roommate stuff and it’s none of his business, but he feels a little insulted being left out because you and Jungkook are just as much best friends as you were in college.

Or are you?

This question plagues him throughout the day, and when Jungkook packs enough boxes for the weekend and says he needs to go home, Jisoo for once doesn’t argue. Normally Jisoo would cling to him like a koala, murmur simultaneously adorable and dirty things in his ear and lead him to her bedroom to coop up for hours on end. But Jisoo says she’s tired and needs some alone time, which is also fine.

He doesn’t feel like going home, and instead heads straight to the gym. A couple pumps wouldn’t hurt, and it would clear his head. It’s nearly five in the evening when his body is thrumming with the afterglow of his post-workout, and he decides to take a little cool down in the mall and treat himself to a smoothie.

It must be kismet when he sees you coming out of the bookstore, looking a little winded but no less professional in your beige blazer set and rose gold iPad. Whenever he hung around your apartment with Jisoo and you’d come home from work, he’d make it a point to acknowledge your plethora of multicolored skirt-suits. He never needs to be professional in his place of work, and admires how much effort you put in.

“Hey!” he jogs up to you, and he catches the way your shoulders jump at his voice. “We missed you today.”

Your smile curls into something dry, and you twist your spine like rusty hinges to face him. In turn, his smile dims a little, wondering if he’s doing something wrong. Maybe you’re tired? He catches the line of sweat that glistens your baby hairs, and how your hair is done up but has fallen a few centimeters with some pieces falling out.

“Jungkook,” you exhale, “lifting boxes wasn’t enough of a workout?”

“You know me,” he replies stiffly, hiking his backpack higher upon his shoulder. Why does this conversation feel so awkward? “So, finishing up work? Sucks you have to work on a Sunday.”

“Ah, it wasn’t so bad,” you face relaxes a little as you explain your work, “it was children’s day at the bookstore and they were watching Disney movies. I’m writing a piece on how I believe Ratatouille is Pixar’s magnum opus. Interviewed some kids, I wanted an expert opinion.”

“Ratatouille is the superior film,” he declares with a firm nod, “after all, anyone can cook.” He revels in the small smile he manages to retrieve from you, immediately understanding the inside joke. If he came out of the gym five minutes earlier, he probably would’ve been able to catch you in the bookstore. What a shame, he would’ve loved to see you play around with the kids.

At the mention of food, the mall manages to silence itself enough for him to catch the grumbling coming from your stomach. He laughs when your cheeks heat.

“I was on my way to get some smoothies,” he jabs a thumb in the direction of the food court, “wanna catch up and get a bite?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I have a lot of work to edit,” disappointment pangs in his chest at your easy rejection, but he ignores it, “I kinda wanna save some money too, still not sure if I’m staying in the apartment after Jisoo moves.”

He doesn’t know what compels him to take your shoulders and wheel you in the direction of the food court, much to your protest and whines. “C’mon, explain to me why Ratatouille is the magnum opus—I need to defend why The Incredibles is superior. I’ll treat you to dinner.”

“What? I can pay for my own food—”

“And I can’t treat my best friend to a nice meal once in a while?”

That has you stopping in your tracks, and Jungkook nearly barrels his chest into your head if not for the grippy soles of his Adidas Ultraboosts. He can’t see your face, but his hands note how your muscles cord tightly between the cotton of your blazer.

He doesn’t understand why you’re so tense. Was it because he called you his best friend? Well, you are? At one point he felt that way, early on in college. The position just stuck with you. And when Jisoo told him you weren’t interested, he was perfectly fine with the platonic relationship. It was nice to have someone to talk media and video games to, someone not as chaotic as Jimin and someone not as deterred as Yoongi.

Although, maybe as of late he hasn’t been so much of a friend. It’s no one’s fault, he’s been caught up with work and Jisoo’s move, he hasn’t said so much as a “hey how are you” when you’re around. He can’t blame you.

Suddenly his mind blanks, the mall fading away as he focuses on how small you look as your eyes dart between the parking lot and the food court. Jisoo and Jungkook have been so caught up on each other lately, that he fears you’re starting to separate yourself.

“Um, this place is good,” you tug him by the elbow and lead him to a fast food joint.

When he picks up both your orders and comes over to your saved table, you’re talking animatedly on the phone. You’re laughing, looking at Jungkook as if he’s the one intruding and you’re muttering a hushed “sorry” as you continue the tail end of the conversation.

“Yes, Joonie. Go with section two, I know my shit. I’m your Work Wife for a reason, Umji in PR could never compare,” you’re giggling like you’re five years younger, and Jungkook feels stuck in a timelapse.

He watches you go, throwing around names and terms that he’s so lost on but so desperate to understand. He knows nothing about your life other than the one that’s tied with Jisoo, which is a damn shame. Since when did he inevitably downgrade you from “best friend” to “his girlfriend’s roommate?”

“I’m sorry,” you turn your phone over and push it to the side, giving Jungkook a smile as well, albeit weaker, “let’s dig in!”

To his relief the dinner goes as good as it should be. You have your tray practically overflowing at the seams, all on Jungkook’s dime. It has his heart swelling with pride, he hasn’t seen you eat in a long time. There’s fries spilling out from the corners, and two sandwiches because you couldn’t decide between a chicken sandwich and a burger.

Food gets you amicable, and he doesn’t mind when he does most of the talking. You’re engrossed in his talk, lettuce hanging out of your mouth as you’re rapt with attention as he recalls a story that happened at work recently with Mingyu. You ask questions in all the right places and he sucks up all your attention like a happy pill, and it feels nice to be able to lead a conversation for once.

“Jeez, I’m getting the burger sweats,” you giggle to yourself, and his smile brightens at your positive change in attitude. Food always helps.

When you remove your thick high-collar blazer, that’s when he sees it.

“Seeing someone?” he asks, eyes flickering curiously towards the violet bruises that bloom across your neck.

“What–oh,” you have the audacity to look embarrassed, hands clutching your neck like a shield, “no, just a hookup.”

A messy hookup, too. Unless you had a thing for showing off marks, which doesn’t seem to be the case. “Didn’t peg you for someone who hooks up,” he says more to himself than you, but you catch him on his impulse jab.

Your eyes narrow and your defenses go up, “I’m trying to get over someone,” you snip back, busying your hands by crushing up your greasy sandwich wrappers.

“Am I allowed to state my opinion?”

“Since you asked so politely, no.”

He sighs, “I just don’t think that’s the best way to get over someone,” heck, Jungkook doesn’t even know who exactly you’re trying to get over. He just knows that you’re far too smart and independent to let yourself resort to such matters.

“It isn’t, but it’s really the best option as of now,” you reply curtly.

And his gaze saddens as he sees you fold your blazer over your arm, indicating that your time is up. Jungkook is aware the comment he made is out of line, and it weakens him knowing that you don’t even want to pick a fight with him. He can’t even find it in himself to apologize properly.

He doesn’t know if he’s more sad that you’re pining over someone unattainable or upset at himself for not knowing you’ve been harboring feelings for someone. If you really think hooking up is your only option, you must be really hung about whoever you’re into as of late.

“If it’s worth anything,” Jungkook adds, wanting to leave on a high note, “fuck that guy. He clearly doesn’t deserve you.”

A small, secret smile plays on your lips, “Yeah, I like to believe that.”

“I’m anxious,” Namjoon’s mantra makes the whole energy in the room wobbly, paired with the fact the two of you are squished between cardboard boxes as Jungkook aimlessly moves things around like a Tetris screen.

The only time you feel remotely comfortable basking in your home is when Jisoo is gone. Oh-so conveniently is the Big Hit building undergoing maintenance today, so you and Namjoon have decided to work from home in your apartment. Although you thought by now that Jisoo’s boxes would be long gone and tucked away in Jungkook’s place, instead you’re living in an episode of Ed, Edd and Eddy and the cardboard is practically wall-to-wall. You also thought by now that Jungkook would have no reason to show up unannounced anymore, but apparently that’s not the case.

“I have, anxiety,” Namjoon adjusts his glasses for the nth time this afternoon, brain not fixed enough to focus on the screen of his chrome MacBook, “anxiety, anxiety. I can’t right now. I need my weighted blanket and a pillow.”

“Namjoon, I can get both of those for you if we just send in this last spread,” you coo gently, as if placating a baby. You make brief eye contact with Jungkook from the other side of the room, his lips quirking in amusement as he stacks a box of clothes by the kitchen.

“Do you feel my palms? My palms, they’re like a fucking fountain you need to feel them—” your Wusband approaches you like a zombie, leaning over you and tripping over his criss-crossed legs before he topples over you.

“Blegh, get off of me you sweat giant!” you cry with a good-natured laugh, although the grip of Namjoon’s palms under your shoulders are damp and slimy, “Joon, I can’t get you your blanket if you’re crushing my boobs.”

Namjoon finally relents, untacking himself to rest his chin on your glass coffee table. “Fine.”

“Look over the last column and I’ll bring your blanket, okay?”

Pushing yourself off the ground, you shuffle your way out of the living room through the maze of boxes and into the hallway. It feels like your apartment is less of an apartment and more of a storage space when you’re trapped in-between two lines of boxes, and Jungkook effectively blocking you from entering your room. He was just in the living room but now he’s come from the linen closet, standing between the entrance of your room.

“Sorry,” he pops his head out from a smaller box, one filled with designer costume jewelry.

“It’s fine,” you chirp, barely making eye contact as you shuffle over the boxes.

Your toe drags over the lid of one of the open boxes in an attempt to move diagonally. You nearly crash your face into the hardwood if not for Jungkook’s arm stretching out to catch you. In seconds he manages to catch all your weight in one hand, pulling you to him with your hip pressed against his. Your breath traps itself in your neck. Your subconscious fears that if you speak now, you’ll babble about how attractive it is that he’s able to catch you as easily as grabbing a light sheet of paper.

“Careful,” his voice rumbles in his throat as he regards you with a wan smile.

Your “thanks” is barely uttered as you slip into your room, heaving your weighted blanket and a pillow in your arms to let Namjoon borrow.

The burgundy quilted fabric is hunched over your shoulder, draped around your body so it’s easier for you to carry on your back. You try to eradicate the memory of Jungkook’s arms, lean and strong as he held you to him moments before.

Ugh, you thought messing around with Vernon would stop your silly pining. It seems that it’ll take more than a couple rounds to satiate your curiosity. For such a kind guy, Jungkook seems like a wolf in sheep’s clothing when it comes to the bedroom.

You can imagine him being so kind in the beginning, coaxing you to wan and bend to his every wish and command. And then when you keen a little too hard at the attention, you bet a switch would flip and he’d grab you—

The blanket flops around your back, and you’re sorely reminded that you’re thirsting over a taken man, yet again.

Jungkook makes it extremely difficult for him to be hateable. It’s by nature that he’s just so damn likeable. Heck, he’s pretty much packed seventy percent of the things Jisoo should be packing right now.

Making sure not to trip again, on your feelings and your blanket, you successfully reach a tired Namjoon. You tuck your koala-shaped pillow under your co-editor’s arms, and drape the heavy blanket over him like a cape. He’s giving you a thumbs up and a toothless smile, the previous meltdown overcome as he focuses on finishing the last of today’s work. He’s slipped on some noise-cancelling earphones, presumably filled with generic coffee-house music or rain playlists.

Wordlessly you go to your nook to prepare some tea. It’s getting late and a warm cup would distract you from the impending deadline. Despite the fact that you and Namjoon are 99% of the way done, his previous freak-out has you on live-wire and you could use a little caffeine.

Placing three mugs on the counter you call, “Jungkook, tea?”

“Yes please,” you stiffen when you feel Jungkook magically appear right behind you, his head peering over your shoulder, “with milk and honey.”

Deciding to give Jungkook the beehive-shaped mug because it’s very on-brand for him, you begin to steep the leaves in your kettle while he spoons the honey.

“So,” his words are slow as the drip of honey, the amber goo taking its time to descend into his mug as it falls from the dipper. “Is that the guy you’re trying to get over?”

Jungkook lifts his brows towards Namjoon, who is softcore jamming to his white noise playlist. It’s cute as to how curious Jungkook is about Namjoon. While you try to keep your work life separate, there really isn’t much backstory to your personal life to warrant that kind of divide.

“Namjoon,” you state aloud, watching Namjoon sing badly to himself, “why, are you gonna beat him up for me?”

“I can take him,” you can practically hear Jungkook’s chest pop out.

With a roll of your eyes, you reach to kill the heat off the tea kettle, “No need. He isn’t the guy I’m trying to get over.”

“Oh, he’s your fuck buddy then?”

“Shit!” being caught off guard, you grab at the handle of your kettle without a pot holder, burning your fingertips. In seconds Jungkook’s larger hand encases your own, pulling you over to the sink to soak your fingers in cool running water.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Jungkook is chanting like a sinner at church, searching for any sign of pain in your visage, “I shouldn’t have asked while you’re working with a hot stove.”

You suppress a sigh, relaxing your fingers as Jungkook soothes the burn with his gentle hold, “Shouldn’t have asked in the first place,” you mumble.

“I know,” he replies, “guess I’m just feeling a little left out. We don’t talk like we used to. I guess I’m getting a little too nosy for my own good, aren’t I?”

You don’t understand what’s going on with his incessant babbling as of late, but you chalk it up to work stress and Jisoo’s move. Having no answers to his honest reply, you gently untack your red palm from his grip, assuring him that you’re fine.

Namjoon steps into your kitchenette, being surprisingly careful as he takes your potholder to pour himself a cup of tea. If the tea is oversteeped and bitter he doesn’t say anything, only leans against the counter as he regards you two with slow sips. “You alright?”

“M’fine,” you reply stubbornly, avoiding Jungkook’s worried stare.

Namjoon holds out his hand, “Hand.”

“No—”

“Hand.”

His deep voice coerces you, and you immediately slap the back of your palm onto Namjoon’s. Your partner brushes his golden hands over the tiny blister that’s forming over your fingertips. “Can’t have my Work Wife outta commission.”

“Your Work Wife is fine,” you gripe back.

Your co-worker’s eyes flicker over to Jungkook’s for a brief second, Jungkook regarding him in curiosity as he stares at your connected palms. “I have some aloe in my bag for sunburns,” Namjoon offers helpfully, ignoring the weird glances, “I’ll give it to you in a bit. Also, I’ve overcome my sudden bout of stress and I’m ready to email our progress to Victoria. We’re done for the day.”

“Awesome, thanks Joonie,” you exhale, relaxing against the sink, “wanna go eat somewhere?”

“There’s a niche place in Itaewon if you wanna check it out?” Namjoon offers.

Jungkook interjects, “Jisoo ordered pizza if you guys wanna share with us?”

“Pizza also sounds good—”

“We don’t wanna interrupt your alone time,” you gracefully cut in, stepping in front of Namjoon despite the fact that he’s easily towering over you.

Jungkook snorts, “I’ll have enough alone time with her when she moves in, don’t worry. Besides, I ordered three pies because I wanted to try three different flavor combos. I need two additional judges.”

“Thanks Jungkook but,” you stifle a cry when Namjoon jabs you in the back with his thumb. It’s pressing, digging into the small of your back as if he’s trying to telepathically tell you that you’re being rude, “but… I don’t know if I can eat three slices! Namjoon on the other hand, can probably eat enough to fairly judge.”

“Great,” Jungkook’s smile is blinding, causing your grin to stiffen as he looks for his phone to shoot Jisoo a quick text that they’re having dinner for four.

Once Jungkook’s out of earshot, Namjoon tugs you by the sleeve, “The hell was that?” he hisses in your ear, “you look like you’re about to shit and piss your pants at the same time.”

“I just don’t feel comfortable eating with them,” you cross your arms in defiance. You think back to just a week ago where you and Jisoo reluctantly attempted to eat breakfast together one morning. You provided minimal small talk while Jisoo clinged to her phone, replying to you in non-committal clipped tones.

“Do I want to know?”

“No.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No!” you retort, “you got me into this mess, you’re gonna stay with me ‘till the end.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, woman,” Namjoon throws his arms out exasperatedly, oolong tea nearly sloshing onto his hand, “just suck it up or I revoke your bragging rights to that snag you got on our spread next Monday.”

“Not my fault you couldn’t get Kim Taeyeon on the spread,” you smirk.

“Well I didn’t so happen to stalk the Sephora she frequents for the past two weeks—”

“I didn’t stalk her I just so happened to need a new Fenty Gloss Bomb every other day—”

“I’m home, Jungkookie!”

Your face contorts, your playful energy melting to the hardwood as your previous banter with Namjoon evaporates into thin air. Work bags in one hand and three boxes of pizza balancing in the other, Jisoo kicks off her heels somewhere across the door and places the pizza on the dining table.

Jungkook immediately appears by her side, and you look away and Jisoo plants a heavy kiss on his lips. She cracks open one eye as she notices you and Namjoon hanging by the kitchenette, “Oh,” she mumbles at her audience, “you’re here?”

Yes, you bimbo. I’m here in my own apartment.

“I guess you didn’t read my text that they’ll be joining us for dinner,” Jungkook cuts in good-naturedly, “we have way too much pizza anyway. Have a seat, guys.”

Jungkook navigates the kitchen as easily as your own, and you slump in your chair while Namjoon exchanges pleasantries with Jisoo. She looks impeccable, hair in a tight chignon and a tight navy dress as she converses with your co-editor.

“I’m starving,” Jungkook announces, making sure to place a slice on Jisoo’s plate. He shuffles through the other boxes, making brief eye contact with you when he decides to put a slice on yours as well, “you like these toppings, right?”

You regard the greasy, hearty piece of cheese and bread with a curt nod. You feel Jisoo’s eyes laser on your skin, “Yeah, thanks Kook.”

Namjoon, Jisoo and Jungkook mostly stir up the conversation, you opting to eat as slow as possible to avoid any conversation. It’s easy to blend back and let them take over, as Jisoo loves to talk about her fashion firm and Namjoon is a great listener.

Jungkook and Namjoon make it a point to direct the conversation to you from time to time, and you let the ball leave your court as soon as it lands. You prefer to keep your responses short and simple, especially when Jisoo is so eager to talk about the new silk drapes she’s installing for Jungkook’s windows.

Your phone buzzes in your lap, and you discreetly look under the table to read the incoming text message.

vernie bernie: would u like to do the devil’s dance tonight

vernie bernie: or a tickle to my pickle?

vernie bernie: beatin ya bean?

You: ohmyGOD

vernie bernie: or y’know, u could just come ovr and chill. Hobi made some bomb tres leches

You: call. Ill come after dinner

“Are you okay, y/n?” your head bounces up to meet Jungkook’s gaze, “you’ve barely eaten and you haven’t talked much.”

“Oh you know, she’s just stressed about the upcoming spread,” Namjoon steps in for you, and you send him a discrete, but grateful smile. He’s always impeccable at reading the room, “she’s just nervous about her interview with Kim Taeyeon, but I think you did her interview justice.”

“No way, the singer Kim Taeyeon?” Jungkook gushes, regarding you with stars in his eyes, “your interviews are always so great, y/n. You ask really good questions. Like that one spread about Lee Yonghwa’s art gallery? Really cool.”

You notice the way Jisoo presses her lips together, a thin line as if she’s trying to seal away words that she’ll regret saying. She’s jealous, and you can’t help the blush of pride that fills your veins as you raise a secret brow at her.

“Right, you got nothing to worry about,” Namjoon squeezes your shoulder encouragingly, as if you’d get his double-meaning.

“Thanks,” you reply, pushing your plate away and standing up, “I’m actually gonna go head to Vernon’s for a bit, though. He wants to double check his work before we email Victoria.”

It’s a bald-faced lie, Namjoon sent the files to Victoria right before dinner, but he isn’t going to argue.

“Okay,” Namjoon thanks Jungkook and Jisoo for the meal, stacking his plate atop yours, “I’ll walk out with you.”

“It’s only been twenty minutes, though,” you see the slight panic in Jungkook’s gaze as he watches you quickly clean up for you and Namjoon. You can’t quite pin why he’s so concerned, after all he has been acting strange as of late.

“Yeah, I’m full,” you reply curtly, licking your lips and avoiding his gaze. You already know what he wants to say, that he’s been in your apartment all day and all he’s seen you eat is stale chips and tea, “but we can do this again.” But hopefully not.

“If you’re coming home late again,” it’s the first time Jisoo has spoken to you directly. You tilt your head to her slowly, watching the plastic smile carefully carved onto her expression. You see the contrived care and concern between her brows, “please try to be quieter next time, the last time you came home late you woke Jungkookie up.”

Snapping your gaze to Jungkook you plaster on a thick smile, “Sorry Jungkook—”

“What? No, it’s fine!” he furrows his brows in confusion, finally able to detect the strange tension between the two housemates, “I barely heard you—”

“Maybe I’ll just stay the night at Vernon’s,” your eyes trail over to the pajama set you immediately switched into when you got home today, “wouldn’t want to disturb you two.”

“Good,” Jisoo’s tone is saccharine and clipped as she tacks on a, “have fun.”

It’s laudable, how much Jisoo wants to make a fool out of you but you won’t have it. You revel in the perplexed expression as Jungkook’s gaze darts back and forth between the two of you, wanting to butt in but unsure of how to approach it. Not giving him the time to, you bid the couple a goodnight and make a fast getaway. Heck, you don’t even take your work stuff with you.

Once you’re out the door, Namjoon wordlessly gives you a hug. You sigh gratefully into his embrace.

The next time Jungkook sees you, he reads the room before anything. You and Jisoo’s apartment is scarily empty, almost clinical. He’s tried texting you a few times after his failed-not-failed attempt at catching up at the mall and his awkward conversation concerning Namjoon, but you always reply back with vague replies and an unpromised promise of meeting up sometime soon.

It dulls him to think that you’ve given up on him as a friend. But can you blame him? He needs to keep an appropriate distance for Jisoo, after all, she doesn’t like it when he gets too close to other women unless it’s strictly professional. Usually Jisoo’s jealousy inevitably works itself out and Jungkook doesn’t pose any problems because he has very few girl friends, but for some reason your friendship with him specifically gets Jisoo stiff in the face. Is it because you and Jisoo are so close? Possibly.

But it doesn’t mean you can’t join the same Valorant server with him at 2AM and accidentally bomb each other, or argue over the magnum opus of each film company. Is that not enough?

Jisoo’s working overtime, and Jungkook suggested last night that he move the boxes to the front of the door for easy pick-up when the moving truck arrives. Jisoo promises to buy Thai food in return, and with a kiss emoji she leaves him to audit fabric budgets.

As he glides down to Jisoo’s room he notes that the pictures along the wall have disappeared, and there’s double the amount of boxes in the hallway. It seems that you’re moving out too. To where, he doesn’t know but he hopes it isn’t too far.

He chides Jisoo remotely when he sees that her room is completely intact, and he makes moves to pack up her things.

That’s when he finds his letter. Not a love letter to Jisoo, but a love letter to you. Deep in the recesses of Jisoo’s junk drawer, is a faded lavender envelope with a pressed cream colored baby’s breath taped up in plastic. The glue is yellow and old, clearly served its purpose due to the fact that the letter is already opened and the contents rumpled.

Hey Pretty Girl–

He immediately stuffs the letter back in its holder, stricken at his messy handwriting from two years ago. It feels like he found a time capsule, another version of Jungkook confessing to you. He used to call you Pretty Girl, not enough for you to catch on to his feelings, but enough for you to understand that he did find you attractive. It was early on in your friendship.

When you first asked him to be study partners for some silly class that had nothing to do with each other’s majors, he gaped like a guppy and pointed to himself. That day he went to class in last night’s clothes and a nest of fluffy strands. “Me?” he felt like absolute trash, and you were probably desperate due to the fact you two were the only seniors in this class, “but you’re a pretty girl… and I’m pretty dumb when it comes to this subject.”

But instead you scoffed and pulled him from his slumped figure, dragging him to the library, with a wink and a “you’re pretty, too.” Those words have burned in his brain since then, as he wasn’t used to getting such off-handed compliments, especially from intelligent girls that wanted more than one night.

For whatever reason you continued seeing his dumb self, even after the semester ended and together registered for one more class for spring.

Whenever you’d go out for ice cream you wouldn’t hesitate to stuff your face and add for extra Oreos and fries, you’d assure Jungkook you’re not normally this much of a slob.

Jungkook would just smile and offer you a napkin and say, “You’re still a pretty girl.”

He fell for you gracefully. There was no regret, no walk of shame, no cliché late night party where you or him could’ve instigated it into the physical. It was all by feel.

However the two of you took your time with your relationship, languidly enjoying the hushed conversations in the library at 2AM, the late night McFlurry runs, the integration of each other’s friends like it was natural. Ergo the lavender love letter. It was a gentle declaration, one he felt pretty confident in.

So color him stupid when you passed him in class with a happy wave, Jungkook dumbfounded at how well you handled his confession. You weren’t oblivious, you just never read it.

But now he knows the declaration was for whatever reason, lost in transit. “I should’ve known,” he whispers in the air, the letter crumpling in his grip. Composing himself, he pinches his brows.

There’s an electronic buzz and a sharp slam of the front door. Judging by the time, you’re home.

You flop onto your mattress, folding an arm over your head to stop the sun from seeping to your eyes. Vernon’s exhausted you, and you barely got away before he could have any say in it. You need a little space, and some time to think.

Just as you close the door to your bedroom, it swings open.

You gape as Jungkook thrusts himself into your bedroom like a deer with horns, looking pale. You follow his gaze, darkened eyes that linger a little too long on your neck again, and you narrow your eyes at him to avert. He looks a little red in the cheeks despite his pallidness, looking like he just got out of bed with messy wavy locks and his signature sweats. Is Jungkook packing for Jisoo again?

Acutely aware that you smell like sweat and sex, you clutch the blankets closer to your body. “Uh, rude.”

He looks uncharastically frantic, waving a letter in his hand, “Did you ever read this?”

“Read what?” you ask, hands reaching out for the envelope.

“My confession letter,” he blurts, having no shame now that all the gears are running through his head. “I wrote you a letter asking you out, because you said you wanted to collect notes like in Letters to Juliet. But I just found it in Jisoo’s drawer, why would it be there?”

And all the pent up frustration that never seemed to escape under Vernon’s sheets, the feelings that never seem to subside, all bubble back to the surface. Now that Jungkook knows, there’s no hiding.

You’re in shock, hands reaching for the letter despite the burn that seeps through your fingertips. Jungkook’s shoulders slump when you do indeed look like it’s your first time seeing this, as if a missing puzzle piece in your timeline has finally been revealed.

“I, I didn’t think you’d write me a letter,” you take the lavender envelope, clutching the letter by your chest like it’s something precious, “that’s so sweet,” you say to yourself.

It dawns on him, “Wait, you knew about this? I knew something weird was going on.”

“Only recently,” you frown.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” he nearly shouts, causing you to flinch, “no wonder why you were being so weird all this time. How could you let me live the rest of my life knowing this? That my relationship is built on a lie? ”

“I don’t know,” you suddenly feel very small in your mattress as Jungkook rounds up on you, pulling your desk chair closer to your bed, “because you love Jisoo, of course.”

“Well obviously that’s not possible,” and while yes a two-year realtionship ending like this is going to hit him hard tonight, he’s focused on you and the fact that you failed to tell him, “somehow I’d find out. Why wait for me to find out on my own?”

“Because I wanted to protect you!”

“Protect me,” he scoffs, crossing his arms and sneering at you. It causes you to tense up, feeling the telltale signs of tears bubbling to the surface, “you don’t even want to be friends anymore, y/n. I’ve tried to catch up to you so many times, but you keep leaving me hanging. I know I’ve been a pretty bad friend and I get it if you just feel awkward that I liked you, then that’s a shitty reason.”

“Have you ever considered that it’s too late to tell you?” you shoot back, sitting up straight, “yes, I admit I should’ve told you earlier and I’m sorry, but it was a lot for me to process to y’know? Jisoo and I haven’t talked properly in weeks!”

“Oh, so you’ve stopped trying to be friends with Jisoo too, huh? Just like you’re trying to stop being friends with me.”

“No,” you pinch your brows, “she stopped being friends with me! She doesn’t care about me because she has you,” conflict burns in Jungkook’s gaze, and you only serve to fuel the fire, “she’s tried so hard to not involve me in your relationship.”

“Just tell me why you’ve really kept this secret instead of saying you want to protect me like a baby—”

“It’s because I’m in love with you, idiot!”

You blink and back up against the wall of your bedroom, as if you can’t believe that the words came out of your mouth.

It’s quiet again. The sour look evaporates from Jungkook’s face as he watches you suppress your sobs on your mattress. The room seems devoid, sucked out of its color as you’ve cleaned up most of your things, the only thing left being some plain grey sheets and a pillow.

Jungkook’s mind is absolutely reeling, playing back memories from a different point of view.

“When Jisoo told me she sabotaged our relationship so she could date you, I was so upset and didn’t know what to think,” you manage to place the lavender note on your wooden desk, making sure no tears could mar it. “And I thought I could move on and eventually stay friends with the both of you, but the next day Jisoo put all her attention on you and completely ignored me or any attempt to salvage our friendship. She only told me to forgive herself,” you’re hugging yourself, wrapping the blankets around you like a weak embrace, “so I thought if I cut myself out of the picture and forced myself to move on like I should’ve, everything would’ve been okay.”

“So, you would’ve rather kept all this pain to yourself?”

“Yeah,” you give him a teary smile, “because I wanted you to be happy.”

And with an equally sad smile he murmurs, “But I’m not happy.”

Your face falls, and you really look at Jungkook. He’s exhausted as well, slumped in his chair. Has he been trying to grapple along the threads of his relationships, while you’ve been trying to loosen them?

“What a waste of two years,” he slumps in your chair, letting the pieces click into place, “a relationship built on fake love. I was really trying, y’know. I thought I was going crazy.”

The three of you have unknowingly been playing a futile game of Cat’s Cradle, a game that no one wins.

Jungkook looks wistfully out the window, noting the pleasant day that fails to present itself in your tiny room. It feels simultaneously satisfying and bitter when it falls into place, your thoughts finally fitting together for the first time in months. “We could’ve loved each other. For real,” he says, and you silently agree.

You’re still crying, shaking like a leaf in autumn. Jungkook’s arms hover awkwardly over yours, his warmth palpable despite the fact that he hasn’t touched you yet. With a timid smile you allow consent, and you melt like putty in his arms.

“Kookie, ‘m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” you murmur into his shoulder, not caring if it hurts when you press your chin into his skin. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

It’s been so long to have him close like this, the friend you’ve always wanted but never needed. Since college you’ve always imagined a life without him doing just fine, but that doesn’t mean you want to live without him, roommate’s boyfriend or not.

“I’m sorry too,” he sighs back, “this sucks right now, but we’ll be alright.”

The two of you sit in your room until it turns dark and the sky muddles into shades of twilight and egg yolk orange. There’s lulls in the conversation, the two of you filling in the gaps and making sense of the mumbo-jumbo that’s been going on in your consciousness up until this point. Your insantities turn sane, and by the time Jisoo’s making her way back inside with the smell of pad thai, Jungkook is ready. With a squeeze to each other and a press of your lips because you don’t know what to say, you tuck yourself in and pretend to fall asleep.

“Messy, messy, messy,” Vernon sing-songs, knocking his heels against the wall.

The both of you are sitting upside-down, butts attached to the wall connecting to his mattress and your feet hanging in the air. Your mint floral organza socks pad against his Pink Floyd poster, while his yellow tube socks are heeling against some old Polaroids from college. There’s no prospect of sex today, not when shit just hit the fan.

Today you and Vernon are just two old friends and very close co-workers.

“Tell me about it,” you bemoan, frowning at the beige wall, “this whole week’s just been a whole mess. It’s like, warm tuna salad.”

“Gross,” Vernon grimaces at the apt comparison, “so what happens now?”

You sit up on your elbows, looking down at Vernon’s peaceful expression, “What do you mean?”

“Like, are you gonna get together with him?”

You snort, flopping back down on his bed. The blankets fluff around you and you inhale the pine scented sheets. “After all that? No.”

“But you still love him?”

It must sound dumb to still love him after all this time. You wouldn’t be surprised if Vernon thought you’re silly to still hold a place in your heart for someone who has fifteen million things on their plate now. After all the physicality and the space Vernon gave you in his home, your feelings haven’t wavered.

Your companion doesn’t bother waiting for your answer, hearing your answer somewhere in the air as he gets up and throws on his denim jacket. Rolling over your stomach you ask, “Where are you going?”

“Some friends down in printing want to meet up for drinks,” Vernon messes up his hair, making the waves part in that little coiff that makes his jawline look sharp. “I heard Yerin really wanted me to come, so.”

You can’t help the little middle school coo that comes from your lips, causing Vernon to giggle and throw a pillow at you. “Yerin’s cute!” you declare, remembering the petite girl in overalls who’s all about pops of yellow and violet, “you're into her?”

“Nah,” Vernon holds up two hats in his hands, gesturing for you to pick one. “Just figured it was a push in the right direction.”

Crawling out of his bed you stumble in your oversized t-shirt, tucking a finger under your chin as you decide between the emerald bucket hat and the red Ralph Lauren baseball cap. You pull out both hats from his hands and set it down on his vanity, opting to smooth out the flyaways and ringing your fingers through his soft curls. “And what direction would my free-flowing friend be going today?” you ask aloud, “you look better with your hair out,” you declare firmly, “makes you look like a fluffy CEO.”

He laughs at your silly comparison, and he gently moves your hand away from his hair when you linger a little too close to him. His gaze is solemn as he regards you with a gentle smile, “Keep your distance, I’m tryna get over someone,” he says simply, and your arm falls limp at your sides.

Your heart thuds in a different direction, your mouth parting but no words coming to the surface. When was the last time you asked about Vernon’s needs, wondered if he was doing alright, making sure you two were on the same page—

“You’re spiraling,” he reads you like a playbook, smoothing down your hair to press a kiss to the crown. Suddenly you feel guilty for not having sparks in your belly, shaming your conscience for not even considering his sacrifices in your self-absorption these past few weeks. “Like I said, I wanted to help you. Stop looking like a kicked puppy, it’s okay to be selfish.”

With transparent tears the two of you pack up and head to your next destination. Hands ghosting between each other you make your way to the exit of Vernon’s apartment, him to meet up with his friends while you have to unpack your new apartment. With a hug you tell each other you’ll see them on Monday, and as easy as that you go your separate ways.

Hey Pretty Girl—

I kinda wanted to tell you this in person but I know how much you liked Mamma Mia and all those other movies that have grand gestures in writing so I thought hey, might as well shoot my shot on paper.

Not gonna tell you all the details, because you deserve to hear it in-person. But mayhaps this letter has something to do with how much I like studying with you, watching movies with you, doing absolutely nothing with you and all of that in-between.

There’s a gift card to our spot attached. Meet me at McDonalds @12 tonight, so I know it’s real 😎

Hopefully yours, Jungkook

P.S. if you haven’t noticed already, I sprayed a little cologne and stole Taehyung’s fancy paper from Muji. That’s how serious I am about you.

“Joon, we live in a bonsai garden. We’re like giants in a forest.”

“Can you—can you stop spitting at them? Let them breathe, dammit.”

“Not my fault they’re so tiny! I literally have to zoom 200% just to get a good look at ‘em.”

The two of you are huddled in what used to be Namjoon’s balcony, now a sunroom for his succulents and bonsais. Your heart feels pink and swollen with affection as you regard Namjoon with interest, absorbing every bit of information you can as he teaches you how to care for his plants. After all, you’re co-parenting now.

Having your Wusband co-sign as your roommate for the next year is probably the best decision you have made this year. Everyday is like a breath of fresh air. With Seokjin gone for the year to tour his restaurant franchises, his room is yours for the taking. The two of you are easy going roommates, filling the apartment with color and vigour whether it be in the form of baking sweets or watching Netflix documentaries.

The only drama you ever have is when you two are having a meltdown over the same work-related issue, as if you two somehow share the same brain cell. It’s significantly less stressful, no need for unnecessary anger when you have someone as mediating as Namjoon.

After today’s plant lesson, you two go back to the living room to finish up your work for the evening. Another perk of living together is that you can go home at normal work times and continue where you left off with the comfort of your couch and eating a whole pizza pie with no shame.

Namjoon’s phone pings with a new email from corporate. “We got the new concept for next month’s spread,” he gestures to you with a grandiose wave of his arm, “drumroll please.”

He pulls up the newsletter from corporate with a flick of his thumb. Your company put out every month’s concept out in an Evite, like every month was a themed party. A stressful, month long work party. In seconds, the page loaded and you’re met with next month’s title bathed in electronic glitter.

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Class of Youth

The two of you say silent, absorbing the concept like a cookie to milk. It’s a personal spread this month, a real treat for the team to show off their normal non-professional life. A spread that reveals the masters behind the ink and text. Last year’s personal spread was about the staff’s vacation destinations, but this year’s is much more intimate. You can imagine all the ideas that will be thrown around on Monday’s meeting: pinning down shared ideas like Throwback Thursdays, late night munchie runs, drunk stories, and all the crazy college nostalgia that you’ve been trying to avoid as of late.

But now it’s presented to you in a gold chalice, and while you’re sick of the past you think it’s about time to face it. You’re excited to tackle the dark monster you’ve suppressed since Jungkook and Jisoo’s breakup.

“Did I ever tell you I was president of my university’s Mock Trial?”

“No, I always thought you’d be president of the Comparative Literature Club or whatever. But Mock Trial is equally as nerdy.”

“I’ll have you know Mock Trial got me tons of action,” he winked, “made me very convincing.”

“Gross,” you sneer, “so that’s what your spread will be about? How the co-editor of the Arts & Entertainment section managed to bag with his skills from Mock Trial?”

“Nah, I went on a penniless journey with Jin during spring break. Six days around Malta.”

“That does sound so you,” you sigh, fingers slipping between the cracked screen as you mull over the overly happy Evite, “sounds like a cool story.”

“I know that look,” Namjoon quips, snatching his phone under his nose, “don’t overthink your spread just yet, it’s still the weekend. Now to more important things, what do you want from Taco Bell?”

And because you can’t refuse the combined efforts of nachos and Namjoon’s dimples, you relent for the night and tack the unmade idea to the next workday.

Unfortunately the next workday is just as disheartening. Today’s work meeting is the antithesis of icing on the cake. While your college life isn’t anything remarkable, you didn’t think it was a painfully dull time. With every passing moment and every excited co-worker throwing memories back and forth like ping pong balls, the more you felt inferior by competing with their amazing memories.

“Who can even afford Aruba at twenty-one,” you mutter under your breath, stalking back to your cubicle.

Filling up a whole spread is daunting to you, the thought of Victoria popping her head in your cubicle to ask what you’ve got for the day is practically eating you from the inside out. Maybe your college life was in actuality, super boring? You have no crazy drug trips to tell, any vacations that gave you a life-changing perspective, or an epic love story.

“What’cha got there, partner?”

The third musketeer of your editing team’s caramel eyes peer into your cubicle, causing you to jump in your chair. Vernon wheels around, chair and all to push you into your already cramped space. His gold button up gleams in the sunlight, effectively blinding you.

“If by something you mean nothing, then yeah I got nothing,” you frown, spinning around your chair. “What are you writing about?”

A fond smile melts onto your friend’s face, and you can’t help returning a smile that mirrors his own. You two have fallen back into a good place, as far as you know. He’s still easy, simple, sweet Vernon. When you dropped some boxes off in coloring, you heard that Vernon and Yerin have recently started seeing each other.

“Thought of the idea as soon as the Evite came out. It’s more of a photo spread, but I’m gonna write about my study abroad in NYU,” Vernon ticks a pencil on his forehead, “a self-identity piece talking about how I felt like, not-white around my family n’stuff. And then felt not-Asian at the same time, s’complicated but I think I can make it work.”

“Deep,” you pat his shoulder caringly, knowing that Big Hit is a good outlet for these kinds of subjects, “alright City Slicker, since you’re so full of ideas then tell me what to write about.”

Vernon sits up straight, regarding you with narrowed eyes, “Aren’t you gonna write about your little love triangle with Jisoo and Jungkook?” and it seems like he’s already storyboarded the idea in his head, gesturing to the air as if he’s writing down a timeline, “I can see the headline now: How to Steal a Heart,” he’s grinning, nodding fervently as you cross your arms in distaste.

“Vern, are you suggesting that I exploit Jisoo and Jungkook’s personal lives?” while the journalism business didn’t pride itself on sincerity, it did feel wrong to drag in your personal life to that extent.

“Babe, you don’t understand. You have the perfect slice of life story. Everyone’s writing about expensive vacations and that one time they got cross-faded and ended up in Busan,” he squeezes your hand, “but your story, it’s relatable. It’s romantic. It’s angsty. It has closure. No one’s gonna be able to relate to an impulse spending on daddy’s money to Aruba. But first loves? Unrequited romance and all that ish? Everyone can speak to that. And you’re a beautiful writer, they’ll eat up that story like honey.”

“I don’t know, it still doesn’t feel right.”

“Change up the names, twist the story,” he offers easily, knowing you’d put up a fight, “besides, it’s not like you’re planning on talking to Jisoo or Jungkook ever again,” you open your mouth to retort, but Vernon’s phone beeps to the Star Wars theme song and he’s flying out of his chair. “Shoot, gotta go help Joon upstairs. Just think about it, okay? Good luck!” and he’s kicking his chair out with a brown loafer, leaving you with breathing room in your cubicle.

Five seconds later Vernon is jogging back, pointing a finger at you, “And if you do choose to write it, you have to add that Jisoo copped your McDonalds gift card. Like, who does that shit? Couldn’t she have just given it to you and say it was from her and not Jungkook? Seriously fucked up.”

For the next ten or so minutes you mull. Out of all the memorable college events you’ve participated in, the largest one by far is your (now defunct and debatable) friendship with Jisoo, and your (un)requited love for Jungkook. Reluctantly, you must admit Vernon has a sharp idea, busting in like a hero and offering you the most writable piece on a silver platter.

It doesn’t feel morally right just to start writing, because ultimately you can’t feel comfortable until you get the consent of Jungkook. While you don’t want to touch Jisoo with a ten-meter pole, you do want to start talking to Jungkook again now that the waters have calmed.

Your life has moved gracefully up until this point, and you’d like to start being friends with him again. Decision made, you pull out your phone and make an important call.

“Hey Yoongi,” you say nervously. Min Yoongi is Kim Namjoon’s equivalent, Jungkook’s Wusband and former upperclassmen in college.

Said man hums noncommittally on the other line, “Whaddya want, it’s been awhile.”

You stifle a giggle at his apathetic attitude, knowing he’s someone who wastes no time in getting straight to the point. “I just wanna make sure Jungkook’s address is still the same? I know it’s been a couple months, but I need to send him something and I wanna make sure it gets to him ASAP because—”

“Because last time something was sent, your crazy roommate intervened and Jungkook ended up in a two-year half-toxic relationship? Yeah, let’s make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

“Yoongi,” you say slowly, “where are you?”

“Working in the studio,” he tuts, “Jungkook says hi, by the way.”

Typical, cat’s out of the bag. With a roll of our eyes you reply, “Thanks for outing me, Yoongi. Talk to you later.”

“And y/n? Jungkook says he’s waiting.”

With a stupid smile slapped onto your face, you hang up the phone and pull out your stationary kit from under your desk. You pluck out a vermillion red envelope, a color so bold and begging to be seen, you know it can’t possibly get lost in transit. Feeling a little bit like a high schooler as you pull out a glitter jelly pen, you get to writing.

Hey Pretty Boy...

Jungkook and Jisoo are no longer together, evidently.

Their social media runs in different directions, with Jisoo sporting absolute elegance in her work at her family-owned boutique. Her posts are full of shiny outfits and soulless gazes, betraying any pinch of emotion she may have felt over these past few months. Her profile is wiped of any personal posts, all traces of you and Jungkook evaporated from her page. You must admit that she looks good, like a real fashion mogul, but only at the surface level.

Conversely, Jungkook is thriving. It’s evident. Normally he isn’t the type of guy to post so frequently, his habits being often sporadic and limited to sweaty gym stories. But whenever you scroll, it’s pictures of him smiling. Big bunny teeth broken into a genuine, full-bellied laugh. Cute selfies of him and his co-workers. You notice two familiar co-workers in those posts, Irene and Seulgi, two beautiful women Jisoo always felt intimidated by whenever she ranted to you. You conclude positively that Jungkook doesn’t feel tethered and can hang out with all the friends he wants, female and male alike. Jungkook looks free, and you’re happy for him.

It’s another Instagram-worthy moment tonight at McDonalds, where you and Jungkook proposed to meet each other at 12AM.

This time, the letter makes it to its desired destination. You make sure of that because this time you hand-deliver it, slipping under his apartment door knowing he lives alone and no one would be able to access it except him.

You’re parked in an obscure corner, but you can see that Jungkook is currently having a great time with his co-workers for an after work meal. Yoongi is unbothered on his phone, while Jimin and Seulgi are taking turns throwing fries into each other’s mouth. Jungkook is squished between them, scrunching his nose cutely as he tries not to get in the fray of their fry-war.

Your phone pings, and you laugh at what pops up on the screen.

Yoongi: come inside, u loser.

You: can’t ur friend group makes me nervous stop being so dang cute

You: dw i’ll wait, it’s only 11:50

Instead of replying, Yoongi puts his phone down and resumes eating. In turn you pick a playlist, deciding that “summer time high mix✨✨✨” is a theme you need to subscribe to for the rest of the weekend.

Busying yourself by sending some texts to Namjoon and checking some emails, you relax in your seat as you let your brain turn to sludge for the weekend. You’re tired, eyes glazing over as you watch Yoongi elbow Jungkook harshly, forcing him to look out the foggy window.

Jungkook’s eyes light up like it’s Christmas Eve, but instead of Christmas lights it's your car’s lowlights. The graphic designer pays no mind to his friends as they wish him goodbye and goodluck, throwing on his jacket with a wave.

The night air whizzes by, Jungkook’s floppy black strands bouncing with each step as he bounds to your car. He throws your door open, bringing in the cold air as he regards you as easily as an old friend would.

“Hi,” he chirps, placing his tattooed palms by the air vent, “c’mon, let’s order.”

“You know, you could’ve ordered inside and brought it in here.”

“Yeah but then it would take longer to get to you,” the cheeky grin that Jungkook throws at you is unmistakable, “c’mon, get out the car and let’s switch.”

“Huh?”

“You look tired, you didn’t come back from the office again, did you?”

“I did tonight,” you say, “I just really wanted to get the soft copy of the article done and—”

“Out, out!” Jungkook clicks your seatbelt off and he’s coming out of the passenger side, opening your car and pulling you out by the hand, “c’mon, I’ll drive.”

You shake your head, hiding your smile in your hand as you let Jungkook do what he wants. Normally you’d be insulted that anyone suggests they should drive your car but Jungkook would always drive you around, saying he loved long rides. Above all, if you could trust anyone to drive your car, Jungkook is at the top of the list.

Buckling in, you bite the inside of your cheek as Jungkook easily pulls out of the parking spot one-handed. His jacket is pulled up to his elbows, exposing his veins as he expertly whirls the wheel in the direction of the drive-thru. Since college he’s always looked very attractive driving.

Doesn’t mean you have to act like you’re still in college. You tamp those feelings down, knowing that your article probably has you feeling stuck in time.

“—coming along?”

“Wha?”

“I said, how’s the spread coming along?”

“It’s pretty much done, I think. I’ll send you the hard copy when it’s ready,” you tap your fingers against the dashboard, “but are you sure you’re okay with me writing it? I know I’m using a pseudonym and everything for you two but I still feel weird—”

“It’s fine, I think it’s a good thing,” and you still squirm in your seat when he flashes you a genuine smile, “I mean, it kinda is a funny story and I think it’s good for both of us. Like closure, y’know? Moving on and—hi, can I get two Oreo McFlurrys and a large fry? Thanks!” he pulls out his wallet to scan the total on the e-reader. “I mean, didn’t it feel good writing it?”

“Yeah,” you replied honestly, relaxing in your seat, “like, college was fun and all, but when Jisoo kinda ruined all that… after awhile I didn’t think it was ruined after all, y’know? I still made amazing friends and ended up where I wanted to be. I want to show the readers that shit happens, and that’s okay. And if things are really meant to be, they’re meant to be.”

The summer playlist hums in the background as Jungkook pulls up to the pick-up window. He thanks the worker and hands you the tray, and you make quick work to put the fries in the first cup holder for optimal sharing. He doesn’t park at McDonalds, but instead smoothly pulls out of the restaurant into the direction of his apartment. It isn’t a particularly long drive, but you figure it would be easier for Jungkook to go home first if you’re already parked at his complex.

“What do you mean by that?” Jungkook parks in the driveway of his apartment, taking his McFlurry from your hands.

“Mean by what?”

“If things are really meant to be, they’re meant to be.”

“Well, we’re here now, right?”

Jungkook pops his spoon in, swallowing vanilla and a silly smile through his coral pink lips, “We’re here now,” he repeats.

The night air is cool and your conversation is warm. You promise Jungkook that you’ll send him the final copy of your spread as soon as it’s done, and you two eagerly deviate away from the past and focus on the present.

You can’t help the eagerness that flows between you, as if you’ve never spent time apart like this and it’s only now that you’re reuniting. It must be absence that makes the heart grow fonder, because you swell with affection and you find Jungkook’s presence sweeter than any kind of ice cream.

Are you dating now? Maybe. You and Jungkook are going on dates, everything without the title. McFlurry runs, marathons of HGTV’s Design on a Dime, having lunch at each other’s respective buildings with the Wusbands. Whether these dates are exclusive or not is unknown, but you figure the question will present yourself one way or another.

You’re in a good place right now, potential relationship or not. After all, your priorities are simultaneously positive and in order: family, work, friends, and any potential romantic trysts are at the very bottom. You could kiss the cover of this month’s issue (and trust, you have kissed your own copy multiple times) if it is not for the fact that this specific issue is for Jungkook.

So, romantic trysts and friends have a tendency to flip-flop on your priority list, but only because it’s Jungkook.

Unsurprisingly, there’s no guilt knowing that you’re dating your former best friend's ex-boyfriend.

After a much deserved early work day, Namjoon and the crew arrange a hearty happy-hour filled with good food and enough relaxation to last the weekend. With your combined successes, your team felt like they made the best issue yet. At the heart of it, The Most Beautiful Moment in Life: Class of Youth became a reckoning of each other’s young life. Despite the love and the growth that occurred from your college years up until this point, you’re glad to close that chapter and move forward.

You did not tell Jungkook when the issue would come out, so you think it’ll be a fun surprise for him when he sees it magically show up at his apartment. Bending down you move to slip the issue under his door, one hand pushing it under while one hand braces against the frame to steady your balance.

Just as the shiny cover glides under the door it swings open, and you fall flat on Jungkook’s feet.

Being the little shit he is, he simply giggles at the blunder, looking at you with excited eyes. “I’ve been waiting for you,” he says.

“Creepy as hell, Jeon,” you mutter under your breath, brushing the dirt off your aqua pencil skirt. Looking at him from your spot on the floor and his large height, you grimace. “You look like a middle-aged serial killer looking outside your peephole.”

“Now, we know that’s not true.” he finally offers his hand, easily pulling you up to your feet. You follow him into his kitchen, where he’s cutting up fresh fruit. He throws your issue on the counter, gentle enough so it doesn’t slide off the granite. He gestures to himself with both hands, “me, a dashingly handsome late twenty-something in Nike sweats who can bench-press two of you? Totally not a middle-aged serial killer.”

“It’s in the eyes,” you chastise, “you look crazy.”

“Maybe I’m just crazy excited to see you,” he says with a cheeky grin.

You try your best not to choke on your spit at the cheeseball comment, throwing a blackberry in your mouth. Savoring the burst of tart flavor that fills your mouth, you wait for Jungkook to plate the fruit before meeting him on the couch. He’s holding a prettily arranged plate of berries, bananas, and mango with a huge dollop of whipped cream in the middle. In his other hand is Big Hit’s magazine.

Throwing your blazer on the couch’s arm you don’t hesitate to cuddle up next to him, eagerly waiting for him to read your spread.

The cover gazes back at the two of you like a reflection. The entirety of the staff is posed on the cover, made to look like a class photo. Some of you are holding balloons in your respective school colors, many of you grouping up with whoever happened to go to college together. You and Vernon are wearing matching university sweaters with silly grins on your faces. In the middle of the issue is the editor-in-chief, Victoria Song holding a placard that reads: Class of Youth.

Jungkook spares you a glance from the corner of his eye, your head naturally tucked into his shoulder. With an exaggerated sigh, he fiddles through the glossy pages, “Hmm, which one should I read first?”

“Of course you’ll read mine first,” you pout.

“Ah, Namjoon’s looks really fun. Or Vernon’s? New York looks pretty cool,” he flips to a random page, “wait, Yerin’s spread is a Korean cookbook! I definitely want to make some tuna rice...”

“Jungkook,” you whine, “read mine.”

“I don’t know,” he taps his finger on his lip, “I mean, I pretty much know your spread because I’m already in it. It would be kind of redundant to read it.”

“Kook, you’re being mean,” you glower, rubbing your cheek against his soft sweater. He’s just so damn comfy.

“I’m kidding,” he tugs at your cheek, “where’s the table of contents, first page?”

“I’m on page eighty-three.”

You speed up the process like an impatient child, leaning over to brush the pages to the desired spread. You even dog-earred it, a habit that drives Jungkook crazy as he immediately fiddles to iron out the crease.

“Are you gonna read it to me too, mom?” he teases.

“Okay fine! I’ll be quiet, but don’t take too long.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Eyes fluttering, you let Jungkook take his time to absorb your piece. A roommate by any other (rude) name: the lost letter. A cheesy, gimmicky title that Victoria insisted upon that you had no choice but relent to. The rest of the spread thankfully has a very authentic edge to it, your story laced with photos of you and Jungkook, your internship with Vernon, and most importantly, a scan of the lavender letter that got left in the past.

Jungkook’s not silent through his read-through, either. He laughs at all the right parts, fueling your ego as his smile grows at your favorite lines. While he doesn’t directly engage in conversation, his positive energy is enough for you to make you feel like you’ve done your job right. It’s one thing to write about unknown celebrities and unnamed artists, but for people like Jungkook, the validation is personal.

“It’s beautiful,” Jungkook says when he’s read it thrice through, running his thumb over a picture of you. “Really organic. Really, real.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he chuckles, having run out of adverbs. “It’s funny, too. I liked your little internal monologue. I wish I knew how you felt back then.”

“I wish you did, too.”

You’re quietly munching on a strawberry, looking over a polaroid Jungkook took. It was sometime in the beginning of senior year, where you’ve fallen asleep on his mattress, drool drying on your mouth. Normally you’d be opposed to having such unflattering, grainy pictures amongst your writing, but it encapsulates the youth you’ve tried so hard to chase away.

“How do you feel?” Jungkook says, switching out the magazine for the plate of fruit, placing it on his side.

“Feel great, actually,” you muse, smiling to yourself. By no means are you a hero writing some grand gesture in an entertainment magazine, but you feel like you’ve saved yourself. You’ve savored your youth in four thousand words, cutting out the poison and keeping the moment as sweet as it can be.

“I’m proud of you,” he reaches to ruffle your hair, and you don’t even get mad when it tousles out of your pinned style.

Reveling in the attention, you simply close your eyes and feed yourself a handful of blueberries.

“Love that I make money, but I definitely miss college from time to time,” Jungkook stretches, jostling you out of your comfortable position. “Like I remember Taehyung and I would take turns bringing backpacks to the dining hall so we could stuff fruit in it for later.”

“Yeah, but as much as I loved college I wouldn’t go back,” you nod to yourself, “I’m happy where I am now.”

“What about when we stayed up for midnight breakfast? The dining hall was filled to the brim with food. Remember when I tried to eat a whole stack of pancakes?”

“Jungkook…”

“Or when our classes got cancelled and we went to Lotte World? You ate way too much funnel cake and I had to carry you to the car!”

“Jungkook—”

“And that one time we snuck out to the music hall’s rooftop?” words gush out of Jungkook’s mouth like a waterfall, unable to relent, “that’s when I realized I liked you. I liked you so much, I tried to tell you that night but choked—”

“Jungkook!” and he immediately zips up, frowning. You straighten up, on your knees as you reach over to run your hands through his onyx tresses, moving the styled strands to the back of his pierced ears, “Jungkook,” you repeat softly, “I’ve heard all these stories, I was there for most of them. As much as I love the past… can we talk about something else?” you give him a small, tentative smile to show him you’re not mad, but a little uncomfortable at his reminiscing.

He leans into your touch, pressing your palm against the soft swell of his warm cheek. “Okay,” he agrees, resting one hand on your thigh.

You’re roped in his gaze, and you have to force yourself to breathe when Jungkook moves closer to you. He hooks a leg behind his back, and another across his lap. A cool breeze kisses your inner thighs when your skirt exposes your cotton underwear. You should be embarrassed but instead you’re fixated, unable to understand what he’s trying to accomplish.

“Then I’m gonna talk about the future,” Jungkook traps you between the couch, his thumb running hot circles to where your skirt has hiked up. It exposes a slip of the thigh that Jungkook has seen a million times. He’s seen you walking around your apartment in a large shirt, ridden up to your boyshorts. It’s different now, you feel exposed and tingly, thrumming with excitement. “I like you, obviously anticipated news and old news. I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to go on dates with you, re-watch Avatar, grumble when I force you to come to the gym with me,” he bumps noses with you when you scrunch yours, “I wanna be with you. Heck, I’ve even cleared space in my spare room so you’d have closet space for all your fancy designer suits if you ever need it.”

“You cleared space?” you manage to choke out. Visions of a shared apartment roll through your brain. Cooking meals together, having two toothbrushes side by side, and waking up to his face.

“Of course I did. Do you know how financially attractive you are?” he says lightheartedly, “you’re a sexy working woman and it’s crazy to imagine you’d want to settle for me and my little apartment. But I have to try now because if I don’t, it’ll be too late.”

“That’s not true,” you retort, “you’re not someone I’d settle for. I want you, and no one else.”

He chuckles, running a thumb over your cheek. “Then what are we waiting for? Your key’s hiding under the mat.”

“Jungkook…” on the tip of your tongue lays the words you’re going too fast but it doesn’t make its way to the air.

“But do you really think it’s too fast?” he reads your face clearly, “these feelings never went anywhere. They were locked away, sure. And I loved her,” he can’t even say the name, not when you’re warm and flush against him, “but I loved our friendship more.”

“I… I don’t know what to say,” you breathe, letting the cogs in your brain roll until sparks develop.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he concedes, “I just wanted to let you know. Could’ve done the letter thing all over again and let the past repeat itself. I know Namjoon wouldn’t hide a love letter for two years, but if I left another damn letter he’d definitely make a copy and tease me about it.”

You snort, pressing your forehead to his. You’re practically buried in the couch now, tingly and vibrating with happiness. “And I’m not going to leave you hanging. I do want to say something,” and he looks at you expectantly, licking the leftover berry juice on his lips, nearly making you miss your train of thought, “I like you too,” you say, the other L-word is also applicable, but you feel like that phrase is reserved for another time, “I want to show you off on work vacations, bring you along as my date and show them you’re my muse,” you confess, “I wanna play video games with you ‘till 2AM, and eat ice cream in the comfort of our apartment instead of our cars because we’re too stubborn to admit we don’t wanna go home without each other.”

Jungkook absolutely preens at the affection, sending you a heart melting smile that has your stomach doing backflips.

“Jungkook, I want to fall in love with you again.”

Your squeal of surprise is swallowed by Jungkook’s lips, tasting of mangoes and berries as strong hands cup your backside, easily lifting you onto his lap. You plop under his strong thighs, feeling them flex against yours. The both of you are pouring in this kiss, raining with promises and hopes for a future with each other. His taste is concentrated, and you can feel the devotion practically injected in his embrace.

When he pulls away his lips are cherry-red and shiny, looking up at you through clear coffee eyes. “This isn’t a dream, right?” he looks at you up and down, unable to decipher fact from fiction, “because I distinctly remember two wet dreams that involve you looking like this.”

Looking down, you heat at the disarray you’re in. Hair wild and parted in different wavelengths, tired of the day’s efforts. Your slightly sheer dress-shirt is rumpled, the lace collar opened with two popped buttons revealing your cleavage, and your skirt is stretched so tight that it’s ruched all the way up your thighs. Sprawled across Jungkook’s lap, you’re dangerously close to something long and hard.

Emboldened, you clutch at Jungkook’s collar, pulling him closer.

“Show me what happens in your dream,” you whisper into his ear, barely brushing your clothed core against his crotch, “maybe we can make it come true tonight.”

You can’t see his face, but you feel something dark and sensual overtake him. The grip on your ass tightens, a delicious pain that has you pressing your breasts against him and nipping on his ear, your tongue darting sensually through the cold silver hoops that dart through his skin.

Within seconds, he rips you away from his neck and demands, “Open.”

Dazed, you barely get a centimeter of your mouth open when Jungkook presses something cold and sugary against your lips. Whipped cream. You manage to take a small bite of the tart strawberry that he holds by the viridian stem, rolling the flavor between your mouth as Jungkook paints the leftover whipped cream over your lips. Once he’s satisfied he then creates a white trail that leads to your cleavage.

Better than any dream, his eyes drink you in like the last glass of water in a desert. Your lips are swollen and parted like a baby kitten, covered in the creamy confection. “So pretty,” he exhales, his hot tongue licking from your cleavage to your lips, swallowing the flavor of you and strawberry juice, “such a pretty girl you are, and all mine.”

“Yours,” you submit easily, rolling your hips against his.

At that moment you think you’re meant to fall in love this way. You can’t imagine the shy, fumbly Jungkook and your equally confused self waltzing around a relationship when you barely had your lives together. The two of you still had growing to do. The wait is certainly worth it, because as you feel his arms tighten around you, you’re sure this love will stay strong.

It’s difficult for you to find a rhythm at first, what with Jungkook’s strength and need to be satiated, both of you are sloppy but the friction is nothing less than delicious. Your finger reaches over to swipe at the leftover cream on the plate, and you press your finger to Jungkook’s mouth, and he immediately complies. A dollop of sweet cream leaks out of his lips and your panties dampen further when you feel his tongue lick you clean, imagaining how good it would feel if it was your pussy he was licking.

Your mouth waters at the feeling of his dick lining up against your core, as sticky as the strawberry juice that clings to your bodies.

“C-can I make a confession? I—oh, Jungkook…” your mind is all fuzzed up when he snaps his hips against yours, causing you to shamelessly bounce on his length.

“Yeah?”

“I… I like it when you use all your strength like that,” his hips slow as your words sink in, but you don’t mind as it gives you time to make a long drag along the entirety of his member. “Everytime you pull me up when I trip, or you come back from a workout, I like it when you carry me around like I weigh nothing.”

“Do—do you think about it a lot?” he grunts, and you stifle a moan when he does a slow, hard drag against your wet folds. “Tell the truth.”

“It’s, it’s embarrassing,” you whimper, unable to think straight with the amount of stimuli you’re receiving.

“Please, baby.”

“Yes mm—oh! I do,” you try to get the words out as quickly as you can. He stops moving, and you groan in frustration so you just lay it all out on the table. “I, I love it when you hold me in your strong arms. And, ah, uh w-henever you come back from the gym you just look so sexy fresh from the shower. Sometimes I think about how you’re too damn nice for your own good but I bet you’d be so rough in bed.”

“Really?” and then he’s shoving you onto the couch, air brushing against your bare thighs as your back hits the beige throw pillows. He’s hovering, dark eyes starting from the tip of your toes to your damp lips. “You like it when I manhandle you? Throw you around like a little doll?”

“All that strength, and for what?” you try to keep your snappy remarks in check, but it’s hard when he’s pressing his straining dick against your thigh, weeping and needy.

“You’re not gonna be joking about my strength anytime soon, baby,” emblazoned, he easily throws your leg over his shoulder, pushing your panties to the side to let your wetness leak out and onto his fingers, “are you gonna complain or be a good girl?”

“Yes, I’m ah—” you wince when he inserts a finger, “I’ll be good for you,”

“My good girl,” he revels in the way you melt under his touch, your previous sarcasm quickly dissolving into a puddle. You always had an inkling that Jungkook would be a sneaky fox in bed, all that muscle hidden behind a kind smile and a penchant for tea with milk and honey.

Jungkook slips in another finger, stretching you and preparing you for what’s to come. He’s scissoring you at a sensible pace that has you squirming and wanting more. To prevent you from shimmying off the couch he holds you down with his free hand, and you love the way he practically feeds you to the couch, hands dancing over your neck as he shoves you further into the furniture.

“You look so gorgeous,” he says, causing you to moan and keen at his attention, “you’re such a strong, gorgeous woman. Having you sprawled out like this, ready to do whatever I want to you is so fucking hot.”

“I’m—I’m only weak for you Jungkook,” you say honestly, tears pricking when he dips another finger. The stretch burns deliciously, and your folds eagerly swallow him up until you’re filled to the brim. Your fingers or toys cannot compare to flesh, and you sigh in relief when you see his inked fingers pick up the pace once more.

“You’re damn right,” Jungkook husks, and with a grain of love he murmurs in your ear, “I’m only weak for you, too.”

And that’s when he snaps, thumb rolling against your bud as he slams his other fingers against you, going at a brutal pace. You cry out, not caring whether his neighbors hear as he pulls you back and forth through pleasure and pain.

“T-too much, Kookie,” you mewl, your hand warbling to find his, “I, ah, ‘m gonna cum!”

“That’s the plan,” he only goes faster, stretching your band further and further before your desired high is reached. His hand trails up to force your chin straight, looking up at him, “let go for me, baby. Wanna feel your pussy clench around my fingers.”

In seconds, you gush. It has you in a slight panic, drunk on endorphins as you try to lift your head up but Jungkook’s hand is firmly pressing you on your shoulder as he fingers you efficiently through your high, the wet squelching sounds only increasing with your cries. His lap is drenched in your arousal, along with his chin and lips glistening with your essence.

He finally releases you when you’re practically shaking, his hands sticky and creamy. You moan when he shamelessly licks them within your view, making sure to wrap his tongue around his ink-stained digits.

“I,” your mouth is dry when you feel the dampness that hits your bottom, “I’ve never, I don’t remember ever—”

Your babbles are lost between your throat and Jungkook’s tongue, shoved deep into your mouth. Tasting your arousal has you practically vibrating in your place, as you two rut against each other like hungry bunnies.

“God, you’re amazing,” he says between pecks, kissing away your face of any tears you may have pricked, “Amazing, adorable, absolutely beautifulIadoreyousoso—”

“Pleasepleaseplease,” you press your hips up, wiggling for more attention, “please fuck me, Jungkook.”

You can’t help the witchy, satisfied smile when Jungkook’s eyes darken to a thick coal, “Anything for you,” he murmurs, swinging your legs between his arms as he lifts you like a feather.

On his lap again, you soon accept that the way you two mesh like puzzle pieces is one of your favorite positions as it gives you both equal space to ravish each other.

Just when your hand trails to the waistband of his boxer briefs and you’re rolling your thumb over its collected moisture, the moment is shattered when the doorbell rings. You jump in his arms, unprepared for your moment to be interrupted.

He groans into the crown of your hair, and you soften in his relaxed hold, “I ordered us pizza,” he nearly forgot.

Perking your head up to look at him you regard him innocently, as if you didn’t release a waterfall on his sweats two seconds ago. “You got us pizza?”

“I knew you’d be coming over tonight,” he’s pouting into your neck, regretting ever having called the pizza guy if he knew this would happen, “Victoria posted the publish date on Twitter. I just didn’t think,” he gestures vaguely to the mess on his pants, “this would happen.”

“Damn, and here I thought I was being sneaky,” you chuckle, flicking his ear playfully.

He gives you an uncharacteristically subby whine, shamelessly upset he has to let you go so fast after he’s given you your first of many highs. Before he weakens further under your beauty, he unceremoniously shoves you off. “Sorry, pretty girl,” you melt at the easy way his pet name rolls off his lips, “can you wait in my room for a bit so I can pay the delivery guy? I don’t want them to see you like this.”

“But I want to eat pizza,” you declare stubbornly, standing up to button your blouse and pull down your skirt.

Before you could fasten one button or pull down one centimeter, his hand darts out to snatch your wrist away from your body. It doesn’t hurt much, but it causes your body to heat in more places than one. He’s sexy like this, demanding your attention. “No,” he rumbles definitively, “my room. Now.”

“Why?” you throw your hands in the air, yelping when he slaps your ass. He makes sure to make it sting, cupping you fully.

“Because,” he says firmly, “you don’t get to eat until I eat,” you whimper when his hand reaches to cup your sex, panties wet and cold without his warmth as he pushes you in the direction of his bedroom.

Oh, you can’t wait for both of you to eat tonight.

some time later.

“Ohmygod the view is beautiful!” Krystal, who works in advertisement, squeals. “No filter needed!”

“Alright alright, make room Princess,” Namjoon teases. With a bump to Krystal’s tiny hips Namjoon shoves you two across the pavilion, putting his arm around you once he finds the perfect angle, “Umji, can you get a pic of me and my Work Wife? I want this on the Big Hit Instagram!”

You hold your straw sunhat down from the salty wind, smiling beautifully as Umji takes multiple pictures of you and Namjoon from her Nikon. Another successful year under your notch, ending with a successful work retreat.

“Namjoon, can I take a picture with my actual wife now?”

“We’re not married, Jungkook,” you chastise, patting the chest of Namjoon’s floral printed Hawaiian shirt so he can switch. Instantly, Jungkook slides up next to you like a picture perfect stock model piece, and you wrap your arms around his trim waist, “we’re not even engaged.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he pouts, looking over the pavilion and adjusting the both of you so there’s a good amount of you and the resort in the background. The sun may be scathingly hot, but it looks beautiful perched over the crystal clear waters. “Namjoon, you got it easy,” Jungkook says when he hands him your phone, “every angle is our good angle, so you can’t mess it up.”

Being the honest man he is, Namjoon knows better and doesn’t say anything to that. Instead he shoots down whatever pineapple-flavored concoction is offered to him on a silver platter, and starts shooting.

“Is this swimsuit new?” Jungkook murmurs into your ear between shots, flicking your little red number by the strap connecting the back, “because I didn’t see this in the luggage.”

You smile big, pearly whites as Namjoon demands to pop out your butt and work it, pressing your body closer to Jungkook’s. “Tiny enough so I could hide it in my purse,” you reply proudly, voice low for only each other’s ears, “why, surprised?”

“Definitely not prepared,” his fingers dig deliciously in your bare flesh, “would Victoria fire you if she catches us doing it in the cabana?”

Amused that your boyfriend now shares your combined awe and fear of your boss, you twist his nipple lightly. He yelps, and from Namjoon’s guaff he’s definitely got that on camera. “We didn’t come to Boracay to fuck in the cabana.”

“Then the hotel room?”

Namjoon hands you back your phone when he considers his job done, letting you and Jungkook have some alone time. You wave your phone in his face, trying to get him to focus on the task at hand. You wanted to post some cute pictures of you and your boyfriend, one to impress the family back home and the Big Hit interns back in Seoul who are absolutely pining for your position.

“Jungkook, they have the water ski thing where you can flip in the water mid air! Doesn’t that sound fun? Or we can go scuba diving, have Filipino food, or get massages. LIterally, we’re on Big Hit’s dime, and the first thing you want to do is go back to the room?”

“Yes,” he pouts petulantly, leaning into the hollow of your ear and whispering, “got a chub on.”

Discreetly so, your hands brush against his navy trunks and you note yes, he’s half hard. “No!” you shake your head definitively, pushing him out of your arms. You’re not letting sex get in the way of your hard-earned vacation, you’re on company dime and you intend to milk every peso of it. “Namjoon, take him away!”

You blow him a kiss and follow another group who’s decided to go eat, watching your boyfriend get dragged away by Namjoon’s long arms. Krystal, who’s been mildly watching the whole ordeal in-between taking selfies, looks at you in awe, “You got it good, bosslady,” she says, and you happily link arms with her in the direction of the restaurants.

You and Jungkook definitely have it good. You don’t see him until dinnertime, looking utterly relaxed as he sips on a mango-muddled concoction. He must’ve gotten a couples massage with Namjoon, cute. Splitting up was definitely a good idea, by the time your meal arrives the two of you are practically leaning against each other, telling each other what events you need to do tomorrow and events you think will be fun to do together.

“Joon,” Jungkook is throwing an arm over your Wusband’s shoulder, mildly tipsy. The image is adorable, as Jungkook long ago previously confessed that he felt a little jealous of Namjoon’s work relationship with you before you were dating. Now, it feels like they’re best friends and you’re third-wheeling. “What do you think about having halo-halo tomorrow? It’s like bingsu but with a bunch of other good stuffs. There’s red bean, mango, ube, ice cream…”

Just as Jungkook begins his tirade of dessert ingredients, you pull up your phone to check on your social media. You smile back at your profile, seeing your latest Instagram post at the very top of the feed. Not to flex, but the two of you look pretty smokin’ since you’ve been keeping up with Jungkook’s insistence to join him at the gym. Jungkook and you are leaning against the pristine veranda, overlooking the clear blue water and a cloudless sky. The smiles you two sport are genuine and utterly in love.

You scroll down the comments, most of them filled with sweet messages but one of them has you doing a double take.

@sooyaaa__: 😒😒😒 knew something was goin on behind my back… good riddance

The smell of Jungkook’s detergent overtakes your nostrils, and you turn to him. He’s stopped talking, now immersed in whatever’s going on in your phone.

“The nerve of her,” Jungkook scrunches his nose, disgusted at her latest comment. “As if anyone would believe her.”

“Yeah,” you echo, “I feel bad for her, though. She’s probably lonely.”

“Her loss, she put this upon herself. Not us.”

You pout, “I know, but she was my friend at one point.”

He frowns, putting an arm behind your backrest. It would be easy for him to say yeah, and she was my girlfriend and one-up you, leaving it at that. But now he knows better, and that friendship is a much better value than an ill-fated relationship. “Sorry baby,” it’s not his fault, but he sees your disappointment in putting out hope for an old friend. He gives you a little smooch on your temple, “do you miss her?”

“The old her, yeah,” you sigh, clicking on her profile, “but now? I can do without her negativity.”

“Okay,” he takes your phone from your hand, “have you ever blocked a person before?”

“No.”

“Well, today’s the day,” he says it so coolly, you barely have time to think when he clicks the ‘block’ button on Jisoo’s profile, then clicking off his phone to put in his pocket. “No more phone for today,” he proceeds to take your plate that was recently served, taking the time to cut your large vegetables into smaller portions. “Like you said, we shouldn’t waste your vacation time.”

Your heart swells with butterflies for Jeon Jungkook, who’s meticulously cutting your food and telling you to relax and stop dwelling on the past. He’s right, if Jisoo’s not going to stick around for the future and continue to cause negativity in your life, why not keep the positives in the past while it lasted?

“You know I love you, right?”

He ceases cutting, and looks at you to pop a sweet potato in his mouth. “Love me enough to do it in the cabana?”

He’s still on that? “Jungkook,” you warn, pretending to get up, “forget I said anything. I’m gonna go karaoke with Umji.”

“Kiddingggg,” he whines, pulling you back down with an outstretched hand, “you know I love you too.”

“You’re terrible.”

“Only this way because I’d know you’d totally be into cabana sex if we were vacationing by ourselves.”

“Yes, but you’re still terrible,” you giggle when Jungkook steals a kiss, just as easy as he’s stolen your heart.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #gcn23 #goldenclosetnet #btsghostie #jungkook fic #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #bts fic #bts smut #a big weight is off my shoulders

3K notes · View notes

cleverhideoutchild · 3 years

Note

cries @ your mammon fic, can i make a request if your requests are open? each of the bros react to mc having to get a surgery done (like for the heart) and theyre demons so this is an unfamiliar subject to them since they wouldnt ever need any surgery. So mc is extra fragile for the next 2 weeks or so when they need to recover, the hospital is full of machines the bros know nothing about either (like seeing mc's x-rays and being confused) medical treatment has changed a lot since the last time

My very first request! Sorry if this isn't up to your expectations or if it's OOC. I'm still learning! I'm re-doing the banner btw, so no banner for now.

❀(*´▽`*)❀

Masterlist

Rules

Prompts list

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Fandom : Obey Me!

Type : HeadCanons

Pairings : Various x MC

Genre : Fluff, and a bit of comedy

Includes : Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor

Warning : Surgeries, hospital

Summary : You're going into a surgery in a few hours to get an open heart surgery, and the demon bros are a bit nervous and confused cause they're not familiar with human surgeries. After the surgery, they stay by your side until you are fully recovered.

Lucifer

Most likely to be the most calmest among the bros.

He made sure you are prepared both mentally and physically for this surgery.

He made sure you're on empty stomach before surgery so it will go smoothly.

You're nervous? He's gonna let down his pride and hold your hands until it is time for the surgery.

When the time has come, he will give you a reassuring smile to calm you down.

During the whole surgery, he wait outside the room; constantly pacing back and forth the hallway.

After it's done, the doctor call him to the office to explain the succession of the surgery while the nurses move you into a room.

When the doctor showed him an x-ray of your body, he's a little confused but kept calm nonetheless he's a little confused, but he got the spirit.

After listening about what to do and not to do while you recover, he then excuse himself to go see you.

By the time he got there, you were already awake; tubes and monitors on and around you.

He slowly and calmly approaches you.

When he's finally by your side, he put a hand on top of yours and gave you a soft smile. I mean the softest smile ever.

"See, I told you. You can do it." he then kisses your forehead gently like hanshjahzjBa it's cute ugh.

For the whole duration of the recovery, he stay by your side; comforting you, feeding you when you can't, giving you light kisses, and bringing you flowers.

Even after you're fully recovered, Lucifer still kept an eye on you just incase something happened to you.

More under the cut cause I was enjoying myself

Mammon

"You're going into a- WHAT?!"

Please calm him down, he's really nervous for your surgery. If you can, please shut his mouth as well.

He almost got kicked out due to how loud he is. Please reassure him that you will be fine throughout the whole surgery.

Will make sure you're prepared for it.

Tried to steal a picture from the waiting room, but that didn't go as plan. Keep an eye on him please.

He's not the best at words but he tried. A for effort.

While the surgery is going, he waited impatiently outside the room; constantly reminding himself that you're strong and you'll able to get through this.

When it was done, the doctor call him in. They then showed him an X-ray of you and tells him about the successful surgery.

"So this is the X-ray results, thankfully it's not hard to replace the heart due to the structure of the bones."

"Wait, that's MC's bones? How can you do that? Did you went inside their body and then take a photo of it?"

Yeah, he's a little confused.

After everything was explained to him, he quickly went to check on you. He got lost a few times while trying to find your room.

By the time he got there, you were still unconscious. So, he approaches you quietly.

He sat on a chair beside your bed and held you hand, just casually admiring you peaceful face. Sometimes he wonder how he got so lucky to have you.

Overall, you can just see the admiration on his face like agahsnsksnzhaj he loves you so much and is very happy you decided to choose him, and he's very grateful of you but he's too stubborn to admit that to your face.

When you wake up, he quickly let go of your hand and pretends to look out the window.

During your whole recovery, he stayed by your side and make sure you're comfortable. He brings your favorite flowers from time to time as well. He's not the best at actions either, but he tried.

Leviathan

Uh oh.

Crowded hospital? Weird computer stuff? People are gonna cut you open and replace your heart? Oh no.

When I say he's way more panicked than Mammon, he really is. Please calm him down before he breaks something.

He's not familiar with the whole surgery thing so he's really nervous for you.

Tries to give you encouraging words, but ended up stuttering instead. Please tell him that you'll be fine, he needs reassurance.

Also while you're at it, make sure you explain to him that with you getting a new heart doesn't mean you won't love him anymore.

He constantly asked you if people can play games on those monitors, you told him no.

When you finally went into the surgery room, his anxiety level reached sky level. Sweet! New achievement! I mean- ahem.

This demon right here can't help but panicked a little bit while waiting for the surgery to be done.

When it's done, the doctor called him to the office for a brief explanation.

If you thought he can't get any more nervous then Oh boy, you're very wrong.

During the whole explanation he just sat silently on the chair and frequently nods his head. When he saw the X-ray, he got even more confused.

After the short yet awkward explanation, Leviathan quickly went to your room.

When he arrives, you were already awake, and so he quickly stand by your side. Please tell him you still loves him, he needs it.

During the whole recovery, he stayed by your side and played games with you. So with that being said, you're not bored at all.

Satan

The second calmest.

He read a bunch books about surgery, so he's not too nervous unlike the others.

He held your hand while you both wait, occasionally reminding you that it'll be fine.

When it's time, he gives you a hug and the softest smile he can muster.

While he wait, he can't help but pace back and forth in the hallway. He was worried, don't blame him. :(

When the surgery is done, he was called to the office for you guessed it, explanation again. At this point I'm getting tired

He already read about this stuff, so he's not too confused about it.

After the doctor was done, he excuse himself to go see you.

When he went inside you room, you weren't awake yet, and so he stayed by your side while reading a book and holding your hand.

When you're awake, he asks you how're doing. Even though he knows it's a stupid question considering you just finish getting a surgery done.

During your recovery, he's usually seen sitting beside your bed; reading you a book or telling a story about Mammon's stupidness.

He tries to bring you a cat once, but he failed. Sweet, 3 more to go

Asmodeus

When you tells him you're gonna get a surgery, he freaks out cause he thought you were gonna get plastic surgery.

He kept telling you that you don't need any plastic surgery cause you're beautiful the way you are. You just kinda have to shut him up and then explain it to him.

Once he understood the situation, he is more than willingly to come with you.

When you both arrived, he was a little confused due to the amount of monitors and stuff in that hospital. But he's not complaining about the amount of shiny surface there is.

He can see his beautiful face from many angles and he's very happy about it.

Before the surgery starts, he gives you a tight hug and make sure to tell you that everything will be going as smoothly as his skin, I mean- what.

During the whole operation, he waits patiently outside while looking at the passing nurses and doctors.

After that you know the drill, he was called into the office, the doctor explain stuff to him, yada-yada-yada, you get my point

When the doctor shows him your X-ray, he was absolutely confused. The doctor have to explain it to him.

After that he went to your room to check on you.

During the recovery, he frequently checks on your well being. Actually, scratch that, he rarely leaves your side.

When he does leave, he will come back with a ton of fresh and juicy gossips.

Beelzebub

He almost choked when you said you were going into a surgery in a few hours. Poor baby was frightened.

He made sure you are ready for the surgery by asking a lot of questions. Answer then honestly please, he needs to know.

Will hold your hand while waiting and occasionally giving you words of encouragement.

Will try his best to prevent himself from giving you any food before the surgery.

Before you were taken away to the surgery room, he gives you a little peck on the lips. For good luck he says. (｡･ω･｡)

While the operation is going, he quickly went out to buy some food cause your boy is H U N G R Y :(

When he comes back, the operation was finished with a successful note.

And you know the rest, yada-yada-yada

When the doctor shows him your X-ray, he was confused.

"Wait, but how?"

After that you know the rest, he went to your room, your awake, yada-yada-yada

Your whole recovery process is basically just Beel pampering you with love and affection.

He also makes sure to gives you food that won't upset both your stomach and heart.

Belphegor

Finally, the last one! I- ahem He was chill about your surgery. But we know he's silently panicking inside

He lazily puts a hand on your waist while you both walked down the hallway, making sure you're comfortable until the surgery.

While you both waited, he gives you sleepy hugs and reassuring words.

When it was time for the operation, he gives your hand a reassuring squeeze before smiling at you.

While the surgery was going, he decided to take a little nap on the hospital bench.

You know the drill at this point, I'm too lazy to type it again cause it's night time and I have classes tommorow

When the doctor shows him your X-ray, he couldn't care less honestly. He just wanted to see you.

Your 2 weeks of recovery is just full of you and Belphie taking naps together and maybe planning to prank Lucifer with Satan once you've fully recovered.

————————————————————

And it's done! Sorry that the Belphie one is too short. I am very tired, I wanna go to sleep. Bye bye. Also, ignore any mistakes or misspellings please, it's almost midnight here.

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tyonfs · 4 years

Text

dress up.

❝ i was trying on something. could you tell me if you like it? ❞

PAIRING ▸ mark lee x reader

WARNINGS ▸ dirty talk, raw sex (pls use protection), overstimulation

WORD COUNT ▸ 2000 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ this was a request from anon for a frat boy!mark smut! i sort of ran with it, but i love mark lee so it was fun to write ♡

IN RETROSPECT, MARK WAS A BIT OF A CLICHE.

Being a frat boy, athlete, and unfortunately, a bit of a heartbreaker, it was inevitable that he would be classified as bad news. Add you to the equation and he was the physical manifestation of a typical rom-com trope. He figured it was supposed to be you chasing after him, but the fact that it was the other way around took a slight blow to his confidence.

But that didn’t stop him from pursuing you.

And here he was, anticipating your presence on a Friday night at a frat party. He hung onto some false sense of hope that kept him from consuming any alcohol, despite Taeyong and Johnny’s attempts to get him to drink. You and Mark had been flirting for a while now, but neither of you had made a move on each other. Mark was hoping that would change tonight.

“C’mon, Ma-ark,” his friend, Na Jaemin, slurred. “You gotta let loose. Take a shot with me.”

“Jaemin, you’re sloshed, dude. Also, I won’t until—”

A notification flashed across his phone screen, the banner name displaying your name. Mark’s cheeks heated up, his mouth going dry as he stared at his phone for a moment. He turned it off and then on again, checking to make sure the notification was real. He sank back into the couch to make sure only he had eyes on his phone screen.

you: mark

you: you up?

mark: of course. what’s up?

you: i was trying on something

you: could you tell me if you like it?

mark: oh fuck

mark: yeah, go ahead

A few minutes passed by and Mark’s heart was racing. He stared at the texts again, wondering if this was really happening, then cringing at the realization that he had actually sent an “oh fuck” when it was supposed to be confined to his thoughts. Without giving Mark any warning or time to brace himself, you sent the picture.

There was something about mirror pictures that drove Mark crazy. Seeing you posing in front of a full-length mirror with black lingerie hugging your curves and a mini pleated skirt that barely covered the swell of your ass was giving him a hard-on. He wasn’t sure he could contain himself and this shocking development between you two was messing with him.

Mark grabbed a pillow from the couch and placed it shamefully on his lap. No one was paying attention to him anyways, but he had to take extra precautions.

mark: fuck are you wearing that rn?

mark: god, you’re driving me crazy

you: if that’s the case then why don’t you come over?

mark: now?

you: you know where my apartment is

you: i’ll be waiting ♡

Mark got up in an instant and made his way to the door. He had to have saved someone in his past life for this sort of luck. He was caught up in disbelief that you, the girl of his dreams, had made a move on him. There were plenty of girls that Mark had gotten caught up with in the past, but none of them had ever made his heart race like you did.

Johnny stopped Mark before he got to the door, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Whoa, where are you running off to?”

“Oh, shit, I forgot to ask.” Mark grinned, insufferably cocky. “Do you have a condom?”

Johnny’s eyes practically sparkled, digging into his pockets upon his best friend’s request. “Attaboy.”

You looked straight out of one of Mark’s fantasies when you opened the door and let him in. It wasn’t even the short skirt or the lingerie peeking through that got to him. What sent him over the edge was Mark’s sweater over your body; it was oversized on you, but Mark knew it looked better on you than it ever could on him. Mark had given it to you a few weeks ago when you were cold, but he never expected to be the one taking it off of you.

“Hey, frat boy,” you teased, then pouted lightly. “I’m sorry for making you wait so long.”

Mark snapped out of his daze and walked in the apartment as you closed the door behind him. “Wait?”

You tugged at the hem of his shirt and Mark took the cue. He grabbed the back of his shirt at the nape, tugging it off and tossing it to some corner of the room, exposing his bare chest and abs. He let out a hiss through gritted teeth as you ran your hands down his chest and to his belt.

“Wait for me,” you explained. “I just wanted to get you so worked up so you could ruin me.”

That was all Mark needed to hear.

He picked you up effortlessly and brought you to your bed, dropping you down on it and crawling on top of you. He caged your frame with his larger one and crashed his lips onto yours. It was messy and rushed, but so full of passion and longing. Mark poured out his emotions and frustration into kissing you, running his hands down your gorgeous body as you arched your back against him.

“God, I’ve been wanting to do this for months,” he growled when he pulled from the kiss, moving his lips down to your neck. When he heard a soft moan escape your lips, he started sucking harsher, blooming dark hickies along the side of your neck. “I’m gonna make you wish you never made me wait.”

You wrapped a leg around his torso, which he appreciated, if a smooth roll of his hips was anything to go by. But you wanted more—more contact and more friction. You curled your fingers in his belt loops and pulled him down on you.

Mark sat up, pulling you up along with him. He adored your beauty for a moment before tugging his sweater up and off of you. A grunt escaped his lips at the sight of your body, lace lingerie still hugging it. He stuttered out a curse before he kissed you again, tugging your skirt down your legs, which you kicked off.

“Leave the lingerie on,” he ordered, a hungry look in his eyes. He slid his finger underneath the strap along your thigh and snapped it, making you wince. “I can’t let all your efforts go to waste after you dressed up for me, doll.”

“Please, Mark,” you begged, wrapping your arms around his neck, “I want you to stuff your cock in me.”

Mark went to take off his pants in less than a second. You watched him strip down, his bulge not doing much to hide the fact that he was huge. You realized that that cockiness of his is completely warranted. You helped him tug his boxers down, a soft gasp escaping your lips when his cock sprung out, slapping against belly.

Mark gazed into your eyes as he slid his hand up your thigh, making his way to the apex of your legs. He tugged your panties to the side, delighted at how it clung to you. He’d truly be a happy man if he could have you underneath him every day for the rest of his life. Mark slid two fingers against your slit, smirking at how wet you were already.

“Is this for me?” he cooed as your hips bucked up into his touch.

You nodded, eager to just have him in you. You were all for foreplay, but your walls were throbbing with how much pent-up sexual frustration you were experiencing. There were so many opportunities after tonight, but right now, you needed Mark.

Mark suspended himself over you, propping himself up with an arm. He hooked his fingers under the elastic of your panties and teased your slit with the head of his cock. A whimper escaped your lips.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked.

You pressed a kiss to the column of his neck. “Of course.”

Mark’s Adam’s apple bobbed; he was nervous. He was about to fuck the girl of his dreams, so how could he possibly be calm? But when you gave him that dazzling smile of yours, his heart thundered in his chest. He needed you.

He slowly entered you, eyes fixed on your face with rapt attention, indulging in the expressions you were making. For someone so sly and teasing, you had become pliant under his grasp, like a handful of clay that Mark could mould into his own liking.

“Mark,” you whined in an almost depraved way.

“Fuck,” he groaned once he was fully inside of you, your walls pulsating around him.

He started at a languid pace so he could adjust to you. To his satisfaction, you were vocal during sex; you moaned, whimpered, and gasped out Mark’s name whenever he thrusted into you. You were also so damn tight that the slightest movement made you tighten around Mark’s cock.

He held your thighs with a bruising grip as you pressed your breasts up against his chest. Your head went fuzzy as Mark pounded into that one spot mercilessly. But god, the way he growled out your name under his breath as your hips slapped against each other each time was sending you over the edge.

Your nails dug into his back, leaving trails of white-hot pain that compelled Mark into thrusting harder into you. He grinned, a little unhinged, and sped up at the encouragement of your moans. The way he looked at you when he thrusted, though, was so fragile; he found you so heartbreakingly gorgeous, and it didn’t help that he was falling deeper and deeper in love with you.

“Mark!” you cried as you were reaching your high.

He could get lost in the way his name tumbled from your lips. He slowed down his thrusts in exchange for deeper ones that brought you closer to your climax. Mark kissed you again, slower and more passionate. It was somewhat out of place given the magnitude of what you two were doing, but it confirmed for you that he didn’t just want you for sex.

You squealed out his name again, the pressure blinding you. You clenched around him as you came undone, shooting stars flashing behind your eyelids. Mark fucked you through your orgasm without any semblance of mercy. You crooned out a few broken moans, eyes half-lidded as you held onto Mark, your release dripping down his cock.

“Look at me,” he ordered, dark eyes clouding over. He could hardly keep his release at bay, but when you looked up at him with those innocent, doe-like eyes, it became impossible. “God, are you even real? You’re so fucking gorgeous.”

Mark gritted his teeth, a strangled groan leaving his throat as he pulled out and released over you. His cum spilled over your thighs, staining the lingerie you had worn just for him. Mark was completely out of breath so he collapsed next to you, rolling over so he could hold you in his arms. You happily complied, cuddling up to his warmth.

“Please don’t let that be a one-time thing,” Mark murmured in your ear, brushing aside strands of your hair.

“Maybe if you let me be your girlfriend,” you said with a smile, making Mark go wide-eyed.

“Really?” He couldn’t conceal the happiness behind his words.

“On one condition, though,” you said, closing your eyes as that feeling of his cum between your thighs. You reached for his pants that he had strewn aside beside you and reached into the pocket, pulling out the condom that Johnny had given him. “Use this next time.”

“Shit,” Mark mumbled.

You giggled at his reaction, but Mark only smiled brighter, embracing you tightly in his arms. He pressed a kiss against your forehead, cheek, and then your lips. He was a pure romantic when it came down to it, especially when it came to you.

“I also have a condition,” he said.

“Yeah?” you mused. “What is it?”

“Dress up for me next time.”

#mark lee #nct mark #mark lee smut #mark lee drabble #mark lee oneshot #mark smut #mark imagines #mark lee imagines #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct smut #nct #mark drabble #mark oneshot #mark #tyonfs requests

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cevans16 · 3 years

Text

I Could Not Live Without You

Summary: Bucky almost loses you on a mission

Sorry this is a long one! Lots of fluffiness though :)

You and Thor were sitting in the back of the conference room horsing around with a thumb war.

“You’re such a cheater” you discreetly yelled at him.

“You are mad that I am winning little one” he teased you

“Little one?! Should I demonstrate that I am a strong demigod just as you!” you yelled a bit louder

“Thor, (Y/N)! Keep it down!” Steve yelled over to you two. You received dirty looks from the rest of the crew until you finally calmed down only for you and Thor to start messing around again.

“(Y/N) if you don’t listen so help me-” Tony was the one to yell at you this time. You looked up at him to be met by a stern expression from the genius man. Tony and Thor were your best friends so getting a certain look from either one of them would calm you down

“Sorry Tony” you whispered back to him.

“As we were saying - for this mission it will be Thor, Sam, (Y/N) and Bucky” Tony listed the names causing you to groan at the last one

“Is there a problem?” Tony asked

“Yes, HIM” you replied motioning to Bucky. Since you two met, Bucky was never nice to you, he either ignored you or always had to critic something about you.

“Well, Wanda and Vision are on their honeymoon so I see this as a team bonding exercise since you two can’t seem to get along” Tony peered at you.

“I get along with everyone else, he seems to have a problem with me” you replied.

“Come on doll, it’s one mission, if I can tolerate you everyday, I’m sure you can tolerate me for a few” he said winking at you causing you to roll your eyes back.

“Whatever are we done here” you said getting up from your seat to start packing.

-----------------------------------------------------

You were settling yourself inside the quinjet, you and Thor were the demigods so you were practically there as an extra asset for Sam and Bucky.

“Want some cashews?” Bucky offered you, you rolled your eyes at him again.

“No thanks” you said walking away from him to sit next to Thor.

“You know both and I don’t know much about Midgard however I think he likes you” Thor said winking at you

“Please don’t” you quickly replied to his comment

“Ohhh but I know you DO like him, Stark said so himself” at that you scoffed.

“What! No! Damn you Tony, what did he say?” you asked Thor narrowing your eyes at him.

“I overheard you and Stark speaking about him” he said motioning over to Bucky. You remembered that day perfectly.

“I think you have a thing for him, don’t you (Y/N)?” Tony picked on you

“NO! He’s rude, a know-it-all and gosh that stupid long hair needs to be chopped off” you quickly replied defensively while fixing a nanotech knife you had built with Tony.

You turned around to look at Tony who was raising one of his eyebrows at you with a smirk slapped on his face.

“That doesn’t sound very convincing” he chuckled

“I think Manchurian Candidate has a crush on you too but I could be wrong---actually I am never wrong” he continued.

“What do you mean?” you asked curiously

“Well for starters, its like in elementary school, boy likes girl but wants to seem cool so he picks on the said girl which in this case is you” he said poking you with one of his tools

“You don’t see it but he always looks over at you when you are not looking, asks where you are when you are not around, that sort of stuff” Tony explained.

“I mean maybe you two should give it a shot” he shrugged

“Not in a million years Tony” you said walking out of the lab, only to bump into Bucky himself

“He’s never been nice to me so why should I do the same” you told Thor.

Thor didn’t say anything, you and him leaned back against the wall to take a quick nap before arriving to your destination.

------------------------------------------------------

“Hey....we’re two minutes out so suit up” Sam said shaking you out of your sleep gently

“Thank you Sam” you said getting up from your seat to grab your equipment

You grabbed two small pistols placing them on each thigh holster, your earpiece from Sam, you placed your sword behind your back and picked up a rifle to head on out.

“Are you sure you can handle that?” Bucky teased you

“I can handle more than that Barnes” you sternly replied

“That she can Bucky, don’t forget she’s a demigod” Sam said, “I do have to ask though, where did you learn to shoot because I’m sure there aren’t guns on your world” he asked

“Well I train profusely with Nat so I think I’m pretty set in having the best teacher you can get” you explained, Sam nodded walking out the quinjet to lead the way.

“Okay, on my lead, Buck and (Y/N) you go left, Thor and I will head to the right on my signal.....go” Sam led away

“You have my six right?” Bucky asked you

“No shit, you’re part of the team” you replied, the genuine comment surprising Bucky

“Plus I don’t want to deal with Steve’s reaction if you were to be gone forever” you added

Well that was too good to be true Bucky thought to himself.

You were both deep inside the building where there was Sokovian evidence about new mutants

You were beside Bucky when you heard a loud gunshot, immediately reacting quicker than Bucky due to your demigod senses, you pushed Bucky out of the way causing you both to fall down to the first level, you felt your left arm break. A bullet had hit you on your left rib, without hesitation you shot back to where the bullet had come from, you had great aim killing the suspect instantly.

You felt pain, worse than what a normal gun shot would feel like. When you took out the bullet to saw that it was Sokovian made, this bullet was different you thought to yourself, this wasn’t going to kill you but you knew it could’ve killed a human being. You felt yourself drifting away into a deep slumber, you could hear Bucky yelling for you.

He got up slowly from the nasty fall, made sure the coast was clear, he then knelt down next to you placing you onto his lap.

“No no, (Y/N) WAKE UP! WAKE UP!” he yelled over at you repeatedly.

You looked up at him giving him a soft smile, “Give this.... to... Wanda, she’ll know” you tried your best to speak and then it all went pitch black.

“Bucky! (Y/N)! You guys okay?” Sam yelled over the earpiece

“I’m okay.....(Y/N) has been hit, she’s...down” Bucky said in disbelief, he couldn’t believe the girl he was in love with was dead and he never got the chance to tell you how he felt about you.

He picked you up cautiously, walking back to the quinjet sadly.

Thor was the first one to look at you, he looked over your wound, opening your vest open. “She’s not dead but we need to take her back quickly” he said to Sam and Bucky

Sam nodded heading to the pilot chair to fly you all back home.

Bucky tried not to cry but his tears betrayed him

“She pushed me out of the way” he sniffed

Thor placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder to calm him down, “She would have done it for anyone, it’s not your fault” he said sitting down next to him

“I never told her how I felt about her” Bucky whispered

Thor smiled at the sound of him saying that, “I knew it” he teased Bucky

“I’m sure everyone did except her, I was an idiot in not showing it in the correct way” he explained

“She’s not dead Bucky” Thor said.

“How do you know?” he asked

“Well for one, I can hear her heartbeat, it’s very faint. And I’d know if I have lost a best friend” Thor explained.

The rest of the flight back home was quiet.

--------------------------------------------

“Let me see her!” Tony yelled running over to you.

“She’s not dead Stark but we need to check on her wounds, it’s the one on her left rib and she has a broken left arm” Thor explained

“I called Dr. Cho, she should be here soon” Tony nodded at Thor

Tony looked at you, you looked peacefully asleep, he had felt his heart drop when he heard about you. He couldn’t lose his best friend. He wiped away a tear before pushing you over to the emergency room. Bucky followed quickly behind.

“Barnes you can’t be here” Tony said to him

“I’m not leaving her Stark” he replied firmly. Tony looked over at him, eyeing him up and down, he knew it, he knew Bucky liked you. He would save the teasing for another time though, first he had to save his best friend.

“She also said to give this to Wanda, that she would know” Bucky said handing over the bullet you had placed in his hands.

Tony looked over at the delicate item, how did something so small take down a demigod like you.

“I’ll call Wanda once (Y/N) is out of the emergency room” Tony confirmed.

After what felt like forever, Dr. Helen Cho finally arrived, she looked over at you, replicating your own cells to heal the wound on your rib, it wouldn’t look the same but it was enough to stabilize you. Once she was done with surgery, they wheeled you to the recovery room.

“She looks like she’s asleep peacefully” Nat sniffed looking at you.

“Yeah she does, how did it go wrong?” Steve asked

“She took the bullet for Barnes” Nat said, this surprised Steve, he in fact thought that you hated Bucky but he was very appreciative that you would protect his own best friend as if he were yours.

“Don’t look so surprised Steve, she would do this for anyone of us. Besides she has a soft spot for Barnes” Nat smirked

“That I have heard” Steve chuckled.

“Will you two shut up, I feel bad enough as it it” Bucky interjected

They stood there a little bit longer, Nat and Steve headed out, Nat stopped by Bucky, “You should get cleaned up Barnes, it’ll take a while”

“I’m not leaving until Wanda gets here” he replied, with that Nat left Bucky alone with you.

----------------------------------------------------------

Wanda and Vis had to cut their honeymoon short

“I’m sorry Wanda but (Y/N) told Bucky about the bullet that hit her, Banner and I have been trying to figure it out but-- I wouldn’t ask you to come back if it wasn’t serious...this is my best friend” Tony choked out at the end.

“Tony....don’t worry, Vis and I understand, we are heading back , I have a clue on what that bullet could be” she replied calming Tony down over the phone.

-------------------------------------------------------

Nat and Maria were visiting you again, Maria hadn’t seen you until now.

“She looks like a sleeping beauty doesn’t she” Nat said, “even with all the debris....maybe we should clean her up, I know she would flip if she saw how dirty she was” Nat laughed at the thought of you

“You’re right, hey Barnes, you have to walk out” Maria ordered him

“I’m not lea-”

“You have to leave, wait outside for Gods sake, take a shower, she is in good hands and she needs privacy while we clean her up” Nat said

“Fine” Bucky got up from the chair next to you, giving the girls a stinky eye. He quickly went to his room to shower. Although he wouldn’t admit it, the girls were right, he definitely needed a shower.

Once he was done he went over back to the room they had you in, Nat and Maria were quick to clean you up. Your hair was brushed back, it smelled like subtle lavender, your face was clean and makeup free however your long eyelashes still stood out to him, your clothes were changed. Nat was right, you looked like a sleeping beauty, it hurt his heart though to see you this way.

Bucky sat down next to you again, Nat handed him a tray with food.

“I know you haven’t ate so here” she said before walking out the door.

--------------------------------------------------------

Throughout the next few days, everyone else came in to check on you while they weren’t on missions. Thor and Tony checked on you the most, Bucky never left your side unless it was to shower. He felt a sigh of relief when he saw Wanda come inside the room.

“How is she?” Wanda asked looking over at you

“She’s been the same since” Bucky replied

“You look tired Bucky” she said to him, he replied with a faint smile.

“So what is it?” Tony asked her as he came inside the room followed by Thor.

“The bullet can kill any one of you except-” Wanda was going to explain

“Except demigods and mutants, they use these to knock them out however it sends you into a deep sleep, not a peaceful one though” Banner interjected, he was now followed by Steve, Nat and Clint who had been on leave with his family

“He’s correct” Wanda smiled at him, “Pietro and I never got hit by one of these thankfully”

“So if it’s not a peaceful sleep, why does she look like it is?” Clint asked, “Sorry, I got here as soon as I could”.

“Well it’s more of a battle within, whatever your worst fears are, your past that haunts you, it’s all alive in your sleep” Wanda said

“Oh god” Tony said, he knew what your past was, a traumatic one, you were reliving it and there was nothing they could do about it

“So how do we bring her back?” Bucky asked

“It’s not a how can we its when will she” Wanda said sadly, “I think I may be able to get into her head though, give her some kind of signal” she added

“Sure, it’s not like you haven’t done it before” Nat teased her

“Can you?” Steve asked, Wanda nodded closing her eyes as she placed her hand on your head gently.

Wanda saw your worst fears; losing Tony, Thor, losing anyone on the team. She saw your past; your dead family, dead friends, everything. She backed out of your head immediately, trying to suppress a cry.

“Honey, it’s okay” Vision soothed her

“She’s going through hell....I have to bring her back” she said, walking over to you again.

This time she was able to contact you, “(Y/N) you have to wake up, this isn’t real” she explained to you in your dream.

“I can’t yet Wanda I have to finish this mission” you replied

“There is no mission, you’re in a dream”

“NO.....Tony is gone and I couldn’t save him” you cried out

“It’s a dream....come back to us” Wanda pleaded

“I will Wanda, when I am done here, I will” you said

Wanda was brought back to reality.

“She’s not ready yet” she said walking out of the room, “she will wake when she is”.

----------------------------------------------------

It had been over a month since you were out, everyday the team had a routine to check on you, Bucky never left.

He was observing you, your eyelashes, he was deep into your face that he didn’t realize you had opened your eyes.

“(Y/N)?!” he yelped

You looked back at him, fluttering your eyes slowly, sensitive to the light. Then you sat up fast looking over to Bucky, your face in panic.

“Where’s Tony?!” you yelled

“He’s with Pepper” Bucky stammered still recovering from you being suddenly awake

“Don’t bullshit me Barnes, is he alive?!” you said

“Yes! Why would I lie about that, I’ll call him” he said quickly getting his phone out to dial Tony

“She’s awake” was all he said before hanging up

He leaned closer to you, squeezing your hand, “Honey” he said to you

You scoffed at the nickname, “Who are you and what have you done to James Buchanan Barnes?” you asked curiously

Bucky laughed, he slipped at the nickname, “I’m sorry (Y/N)”

After five minutes Tony came into the room, you looked up at him, feeling your breathing come back to normal to see that Bucky wasn’t lying to you.

“Tony” you choked out pulling him in for a tight hug. You felt your tears fall down your face, you were happy to be back after the nightmares you were dreaming of.

“I dreamt you were gone and there was nothing I could do and it was so awful” you sobbed into his shoulder. Tony soothed you, rubbing your back softly.

“There there, look you are snotting all over my shirt so obviously I am not dead” he joked causing you to laugh. Bucky had missed that laugh more than anything.

“It was so horrible” you said looking back to him

“I know, Wanda explained to us” he replied, “I’m glad to have you back” he said pulling you in for a hug this time

“You know I mainly missed you wanting to kill this one all the time” he said motioning over to Bucky, “Thor and I were here a lot but this one never left your side” he said giving you a kiss on your forehead, “I’ll let the team know you’re awake, Morgan has been dying to see you but we chose it was best for her not to see you in this state, calm down, I’m in one piece” he said heading out.

You were still crying, so many emotions were all over the place.

“I’m sorry about this” Bucky said

“What? No this isn’t your fault Bucky” you said

Bucky’s breath hitched at you calling him Bucky, you had never called him that.

“I would do it again if I had to” you added, giving him a small smile.

“She’s BACK!” Thor came in yelling with a bouquet of flowers, “I missed you so much, we have so much to catch up on!”

“How long have I been out for?” you asked afraid to know the answer

“Over a month” Thor said

Each Avenger came in to greet you back to reality. Every single one giving you the strongest hug you had ever received from any of them. Somehow they also each seemed to mention that Bucky had always been there beside you, that was odd to you but you thought back to what Tony and Thor had said, it couldn’t be though.

“Auntie (Y/N)!!!” Morgan yelled throwing herself onto you, Pepper and Tony were quick to scold her

“It’s okay.....I’m okay guys, I missed you baby Stark” you chuckled at her excitement giving her a kiss on her head, “are you ready for our monthly date, rumor is we are backed up on two now” you said, Morgan nodded as her smile grew bigger.

Bucky loved how you were always extra gentle with Morgan, he loved seeing you with kids, you were like a magnet to them.

-----------------------------------

The nightmares came every other night, even though you were out for a month you didn’t feel rested.

You showed up late to your first meeting, apologizing profusely for doing so, everyone was extremely understanding since the word had spread that you were still recovering.

You were dazing in and out of the briefing, looking over at Thor to your right who would always give you a smile. After the meeting was finally over you asked him, “Hey so baby Stark and I are going to our usual, want to come?” you asked

“I would love to but Jane and I have plans” he said, “but I can cancel them”

“No no don’t do that....you and Jane are back! That’s amazing Thor” you genuinely said, you knew how in love he had been with her.

“(Y/N) can I talk to you?” you heard Steve call you

You nodded at him, “Tell me everything once I’m done” you said to Thor.

“Hey Steve, I’m sorry again about being late I’m-”

“Don’t worry I’m not here to scold you, actually I want to thank you for saving Bucky’s life. That could’ve killed him” he said sadly at the end.

You pulled Steve in for a hug, “I would do it again if I had to Rogers, I would like to think that someone would save my best friend too” you said.

“I gotta go, baby Stark is waiting for me” you smiled

“Usual hangout for you two?” he asked smiling

“Yep, I’ve been away for too long” you walked away to get ready with Morgan

-----------------------------------------------------

You were saying goodbye to Tony and Pepper while you and Morgan headed out the compound. You bumped into Bucky, to be honest you noticed he was around more but you never thanked him for being by your side.

“Where are you ladies off to?” Bucky asked with a smile

“We’re going to the aquawium and ice cweam Mr. Barnes” Morgan answered, “would you wike to come with us?” she asked

“I’m sure he has other things to do Morgan” you said politely

Bucky looked over at you and Morgan, then back to Tony and Pepper.

“I’m okay with it” Tony said loud enough for you to hear

You laughed at his comment, “Well Mr. Stark said it was okay...really Bucky you don’t have to” you added

“Actually it would be my pleasure” he replied

“YAY! Auntie (Y/N) and I always have fun” Morgan said

Now the three of you walked towards the car garage, you normally took Pepper’s car since Morgan’s car seat was in it. You buckled her in and were about to get into the drivers side when Bucky stopped you.

“I’ll drive” he said

“I can drive Bucky, I’m not hurt” you replied

“(Y/N), you have a cast on your left arm” he asked pointing at it. To be fair you had indeed forgotten about your broken arm.

“Fineeee Barnes here” you playfully threw the keys at him.

He opened the passenger door for you to get inside the car, as he walked over to the driver’s side Morgan spoke.

“I think he wikes you” she giggled

“Morgan not you too” you laughed

Thankfully she didn’t say anything else once Bucky got inside the car. “So uhmm I don’t even know where we are going” he said a little embarrassed,

“Bless you, well first we’re going to the aquarium and then Dairy Queen” you said

“Off we go” Bucky said putting the car in drive heading towards the aquarium.

-----------------------------------------

The ride to the aquarium was quiet besides Morgan talking away, she was very much like Tony in that sense, Bucky caught onto that.

“I thought we left Stark back home” he half-heartedly joked

You laughed at that, looking over to him, “We did but we have his mini version back there”

Bucky looked back at you, he looked at you differently, this was the first time either of you had hung out without anyone else on the team being around. Morgan seemed to be enjoying both of your company.

The trip around the aquarium was always fun when it was you and Morgan, having Bucky around only added onto it. He would hold Morgan up to see the fishes closer, you would hold her hand to touch the starfishes, you all walked around like a normal little family.

You were going to take a selfie with Morgan when Bucky offered to take it instead.

“Here stand in front of this glass wall” he advised, Morgan and you complied, you knelt down by her side smiling for the picture.

“I can take a picture for you guys, stand right next to your girls, young man” an older lady said to Bucky. Bucky blushed at the lady, not knowing how to tell her that you guys weren’t together. So he handed her the phone and walked over to you and Morgan, you were trying your best to not laugh.

“You have beautiful women here” she added

“Thank you mam” you replied once she took several pictures of you all.

You took the phone looking at the pictures; you, Morgan and Bucky did in fact look like a cute little family.

After the aquarium you guys headed off to Dairy Queen, Bucky was going to the local one but you let him know that you and Morgan went to a specific one that overlooked the city.

You all ordered your personal favorite ice creams then walked over to a bench that was on the dock. You sat Morgan between you and Bucky, all three of you quietly overlooking the beautiful skyline sunset.

“I had fun today, you should come more often Mr. Barnes” Morgan said

“Thank you, I had fun too, call me Bucky” he said to her.

Once you all were done you headed back to the car, Morgan asked you this time if you can sit in the back with her, you agreed to do so, you often did when you were with Tony and Pepper, she called you her car buddy. Somehow you and Morgan dozed off on the way back to the compound. You were awaken gently by Bucky.

“Hey, we’re home” he said softly

You rubbed your eyes, yawning again, smiling at Bucky.

“Sorry I don’t know what happened” you said unbuckling your seatbelt. You got out from the car to carry a sleeping Morgan out to her room.

“Here I got her, you can lock the car” Bucky said as he placed Morgan into his arms.

You guys walked up to the compound, first to drop off Morgan with Tony and Pepper.

“She’s knocked out, yay” Tony joked as he grabbed his daughter from Bucky.

“The pictures of you three were so sweet and cute” Pepper said, she pulled you over discreetly, “You two would make a cute couple” causing you to blush.

You all said your goodnights, Bucky walked you over to your own room which was a floor below.

“Thank you for this day, that was a lot of fun” he said to you

“Nahhh its all Morgan, she gets it from Tony” you teased

Bucky stopped you in the middle of the hallway, “Look I’m sorry about always being a dick to you. I thought that by doing so my feelings for you would fade away and they sure didn't’” he laughed nervously, “I can’t thank you enough for saving my life, I will forever be in debt to you. After almost losing you, it scared the fuck out of me” he said trying not to cry, “I realized that I could not live without you so I have to ask, will you forgive me for being a jerk and will you go on a date with me? It’s okay Morgan can come along” he joked causing you to laugh.

“Ehhh I wasn’t too nice to you either, you don’t owe me anything Bucky...like I said I would do it again if I had to. As much as I hate Tony and Thor being right, I like you too Bucky. I want to thank you for being by my side even though I wasn’t there to see it, it helped knowing someone else was there for me too. Yes I will like to go on a date with you” you said smiling back to him.

Bucky knew in that moment that his life would get better with you in it, he couldn’t wait to see what the future held for both of you.

#Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes Imagines #Bucky Barnes Imagine #Bucky Barnes fluff #Bucky Barnes #Sebastian Stan #mcu x reader #mcu imagine #MCU IMAGINES #MCU #marvel x reader #marvel imagines #marvel imagine #marvel

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nerdzzone · 3 years

Text

-More Hearts Than Mine-

Summary: Raising a child is hard. Raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars is even harder. And raising a child with one of Hollywood’s biggest stars who you’re not actually in a relationship with is even harder still.

Especially when a global pandemic is sweeping the world.

With lockdowns and stay at home orders looming on the horizon, the uncertainty of their situation becomes almost too much for Whitney Taylor to handle. Chris suggests that they quarantine together to avoid any potential separations but, given what happened the last time they spent more than a few brief moments in each other’s company, that could cause more problems than it solves…

Chris Evans x OFC

Sequel to: Once Bitten - Twice Shy

Note: Again, just a reminder that all the information I have about covid restrictions in Massachusetts is from google, not first hand experience, so if something seems wrong please just go with it.

Part Three

______

Part Four

If avoiding difficult conversations was an Olympic sport then it's pretty safe to say that I would have earned myself a gold medal by the end of the following week. It wasn't all that hard to do though as the exhaustion from parenting during a pandemic was hitting us both. Especially because the weather for the first couple of weeks of April was abysmal. It was cold, stormy and raining almost every day and we were all getting quite stir crazy from being inside constantly - especially our lively and spirited child.

So, it was a massive relief when the sun finally came out.

It was also a relief that it lined up with Grayson's third birthday.

He was going to have a very different birthday than previous years - as most people would over the next few months - but we wanted him to have fun and he was quickly tiring of all the indoor activities that we could come up with.

We set the living room up the night before after he'd gone to bed, putting up a birthday banner with several clusters of balloons, and there was quite the mountain of presents in the corner as most of our family members had sent their gifts in advance. I had hoped to wake up before him, but when I woke up to excited cheers and Dodger barking from downstairs, I knew I was too late. A quick glance at my phone told me that it was only six thirty, but clearly the excitement had gotten him up earlier than normal.

"Whoa, Dodger, Grayson, shhhh," I heard Chris warn the pair of them, his voice still raspy from sleep. "You'll wake up the whole neighbourhood."

I smiled and quickly climbed out of bed. Chris wouldn't let him open any presents without me, I knew that, but I didn't want to keep him waiting for too long.

When I got downstairs, a very excited Grayson was bouncing on the couch as Chris sat next to him, watching him closely with a smile on his face.

"Happy birthday!" I cheered, catching his attention.

He sprang off the couch and bolted towards me.

"Thanks, Mama," He shouted, throwing his arms around my legs and looking up at me. "I'm three!"

"You are!" I smiled as I knelt down in front of him and pulled him into a hug. "You're such a big boy now."

He let me squeeze him for another moment or two before wiggling free.

"Can I open presents?"

Chris laughed at his clear priorities, shaking his head as I stood up.

"Let's just wait for Uncle Scott," he suggested before glancing up at me. "He's putting the coffee on."

"Very smart," I nodded. "I think we're all going to need plenty of that today."

Grayson proved my point by grabbing at his balloons and waving them frantically, setting Dodger off barking again.

"Dodge!" Chris scolded. "It's just a balloon, buddy. Chill."

The poor overwhelmed dog hung his head and came over to me for some sympathy. I happily obliged, cooing some comforting words and rubbing his back.

"Gray, leave the balloons, okay?" I requested. "I don't think Dodger likes them."

Grayson frowned, but instantly let go of the balloon in his hand.

"Sorry, Dodger."

"It sounds like we have quite the party in here already," Scott commented as he sauntered into the room. "Shall we see what's in some of these boxes?"

"Yes! Yes!" Grayson cheered, running over to the presents. "What first?"

"Whatever you want," I told him, smiling as I went to sit on the couch next to Chris. "Do you need some help?"

"No, I can do it!" He insisted, making a bee line for the biggest box and quickly ripping the paper off.

We watched as he opened gift after gift, an ear to ear grin on his face the whole time. Just as he was at Christmas, he was incredibly grateful for every present from the Paw Patrol Lookout Tower that was almost as tall as he was to the dinosaur books that were more educational than flashy and fun.

But there was one gift at the bottom of the pile that Chris wasn't particularly impressed by. The one that my brother had sent.

Grayson opened it, pulling out a t-shirt first.

"What does it say?" He asked, holding up the shirt towards us.

Chris' jaw dropped as I stifled my giggles and Scott burst out laughing.

"It says 'Team Iron Man'," I read. "Remember how Uncle Rob was in a movie with Daddy where they had a big fight? Iron Man was Uncle Rob's character and I think Uncle Jack wants you to be on that team."

"Oh," Grayson smiled. "Okay!"

"Okay?!" Chris protested. "You don't want to be on my team?"

Grayson shrugged as he pulled something else out of the box from my brother.

"Look!" He shouted, his excitement clear as he held up a very fancy electronic Iron Man helmet. "I love it!"

I wasn't even sure that he knew what it was as he hadn't seen any of the movies yet, but his enthusiasm compared to Chris' displeasure was killing Scott and I.

"Oh, it's such a shame that your brother wasted his money," Chris said, his words dripping with sarcasm as he had a forced look of pity on his face. "Those things are expensive and Grayson is never going to wear it."

"I'll wear it!"

Grayson's insistence was followed by him putting the helmet on his head and another howl of laughter came from Scott as a look of betrayal crossed Chris' face.

"Your brother is a jerk."

His words were quiet so Grayson wouldn't hear and I smiled.

"What can I say?" I shrugged. "We're an Iron Man family..."

Chris shot me a glare, but turned his attention back to Gray.

"Well, if you don't want to be on my team then I guess I'll just have to find someone else to have the last present that I got for you..."

Chris was teasing, but Grayson whipped off the helmet faster than we could blink. He looked around, a puzzled expression on his face when he couldn't see anymore boxes on the floor and I shared his confusion as I wasn't aware of anymore gifts either. But the Evans brothers exchanged a knowing glance and I knew they were up to something.

"Maybe Miles would like it," Scott suggested. "He loves Captain America."

"Me too!" Grayson insisted, tossing the helmet aside as if it hadn't been his new prized possession moments ago. "He's my favourite!"

"Oh, is he now?" Chris laughed. "Doesn't take much to make you change your mind, does it?"

Grayson shook his head, oblivious to the fact that he was being teased, but Chris didn't torture him for too long.

"Alright, do you want to see what it is?"

"Yes, I do!"

Grayson leapt up, bouncing up and down with excitement, making Chris laugh as he stood up from the couch.

"C'mon then," he told Grayson, nodding his head towards the door. "It's this way."

Grayson scurried after his dad and I followed, my own curiosity piqued as well.

"What is it?" I asked Scott, but he just shot me a smirk.

"You'll see in a second."

I narrowed my eyes at his secrets and paused at the front door where Chris was waiting for us, his hand on the door knob as Grayson practically vibrated with excitement.

"Okay, close your eyes," Chris instructed. "No peeking!"

"I won't, I won't!"

Grayson covered his eyes as an extra assurance and Chris' grin widened even more as he swung open the door. I put my hands on Grayson's shoulders and guided him through it, seeing a shiny blue bike with a big bow on the handlebars. I felt a flash of worry at all the potential ways for Grayson to get hurt riding it, but there was no time to dwell on that as Chris told him to open his eyes and he gasped with excitement.

"A bike!" He squealed with joy, leaping off the doorstep and running towards it.

He circled it for a moment as if he was really trying to take it all in while I looked up at Chris.

"There better be a helmet with this present," I warned him. "I'm already imagining broken bones and missing teeth."

"He'll be fine," Chris assured me with a chuckle. "It has training wheels, but of course I got him a helmet."

I opened my mouth, ready to share some more potential disasters that could come from this - because even with training wheels he could still fall off or lose control and crash into a tree - but Grayson cut me off.

"Help me, Daddy! Help me!"

He was trying to climb onto the seat, but as I took in the sight of him barefoot in his pyjamas standing in the driveway, I stopped Chris as he moved towards him.

"Wait, why don't we have breakfast first?" I suggested. "We have all day to play on your bike, but you're not dressed or even wearing shoes..."

Grayson's face fell and I felt bad being the mean parent, but Chris nodded in agreement.

"Your Ma's right, Gray," he told him. "Let's go get ready and then we can come right back outside, okay?"

Grayson looked sulky, but reluctantly agreed as he walked back over to us.

"Hey now," Scott said, catching his attention. "No pouting on your birthday! We've got some chocolate chip pancakes to make! Unless that sad face means you don't want them anymore?"

His previous smile slid instantly back onto his face at the promise of such a sugary breakfast and the pep returned to his step as he grabbed Scott's hand before dragging him into the house.

I had no evidence to prove my theory, but by the time breakfast was over, I was almost certain that it would have been more relaxing to be in the middle of a hurricane. There was pancake batter all over the room and we practically had to pin Grayson to his chair to stop him from sprinting around the room with food in his mouth. It was a miracle that he got through the meal without choking.

It was impossible to be mad though when he was having such a good time. He'd had so much to adjust to lately, seeing him happy on his birthday was all that I wanted and I was willing to put up with a little more chaos than normal if it made that happen. Within reason, of course. I did stop him when he suggested that we put the entire bag of chocolate chips in the pancake batter and I did make him help me clean them up when he dumped them on the floor in protest of my ridiculous restrictions.

Once the breakfast circus was over, Chris whisked him off to get him ready to play outside while I helped Scott clean up the kitchen before going upstairs to shower and get ready myself.

When I came back down almost an hour later, I felt considerably less frazzled, but the sound of excited squeals and giggles echoing from outside told me the energy levels hadn't died down much. It really was a relief that he was having such a nice day though so I braced myself for more chaos and headed out to find them.

The sight that greeted me melted my heart completely.

Chris was running backwards across the driveway as Grayson rode towards him. He shouted encouragement the entire time, reminding him to keep pedaling and to look where he was going and cheering as Grayson rode past him before turning around and circling back.

"Look, Mama!" He shouted to me as he spotted me by the door. "I'm doing it!"

"You are, baby!" I smiled. "Good job!"

I sat on the doorstep and watched him ride in circles, proud of how fast he'd figured it out, but after a few moments, my attention turned to Chris.

There were few times since I'd known him when I'd seen him look as happy as he did in that moment. When Grayson was born, when he took his first steps and when he first said 'Dada' were probably the only comparable moments I could think of. He looked absolutely gleeful as he chased after Grayson, laughing as he passed him before dodging a different way and waiting for Gray to catch up before bolting off again. The sound of their giggles and shouts filled my heart so much that it genuinely felt like it was about to burst out of my chest and a feeling of contentedness hit me so hard that it almost knocked over.

It was a feeling that told me that they were all I ever needed. Those two boys, making each other dizzy as they ran in circles. Their happiness and love was all I could ever hope to have and moments like these were all I ever wanted to see. I wanted us to spend every weekend soaking in this kind of joy. I didn't want to fight and argue and transport Grayson back and forth every other week. I wanted to give Grayson what he deserved, I wanted us to be a family.

But as fast as that clarity hit me, the knots in my stomach were there to remind me that it wasn't just about what I wanted. It wasn't about what would bring us the most moments of delight, it was about what would provide Grayson with the most stability and being a family might do more harm to that goal than good.

It was a constant battle between my heart and my head, but I was starting to realize that my head was losing. I was clinging to my resistance with all I had, but it was slipping away. I knew I needed to talk to Chris, to sort out the fog in my brain, but for the time being, I pushed it out of my mind. This was Grayson's day and we didn't have time for anymore heart-wrenching conversations.

I was snapped out of my thoughts as Scott appeared from the side of the house on roller blades and the unexpected sight pulled a laugh from my lips as he sailed past Chris and Grayson and headed down the driveway.

"Gray, follow me!"

Gray nodded, frantically pedaling to catch up with his uncle as they sped off down the long drive. Chris watched them for a minute before jogging over to me.

"He got it so fast," he puffed as he fought to catch his breath. "He's a natural."

"The training wheels help," I pointed out, shielding my eyes from the sun as I looked up at him. "But it's fine because he'll be keeping those on until he's at least eighteen."

Chris barked out a laugh, shaking his head.

"No way," he smirked. "We'll have them off by next week."

"Not a chance. I need at least six months to get used to that idea."

"How about we meet in the middle and aim for three?"

"Hmm, maybe," I bit back a smile. "We'll have to see how many injuries he gets with the training wheels on first."

"He'll be fine. He's a champ," Chris grinned proudly. "We've got a pretty great kid."

"We do," I patted the step next to me as I made room for Chris to sit down. "I can't believe he's already three."

Chris accepted my silent invitation and sat down next to me.

"I know," he sighed. "It feels like just yesterday that he was born..."

"He was so tiny," I reminisced. "And you had those huge Captain America muscles."

Chris laughed as he nodded at the memory.

"I was so scared to hold him in case I accidentally crushed him."

"I was so scared of everything," I admitted. "It wasn't until he was actually born that it really hit me that we were completely responsible for his well-being and keeping him alive."

"We've done well with that though!"

"We have," I agreed with a smile. "He's alive and thriving."

"We make a good team."

He flashed me a warm smile that made my heart beat stutter and it almost stopped completely when he stretched out a hand and placed it on mine. His touch was gentle and the warmth of his skin flooded through me even more than the sun streaming down on us. It was a simple gesture, but it eased the heaviness that had been hovering between us lately and I was grateful. I carefully flipped my hand over so our palms pressed together and let our fingers interlace. His smile widened as he looked back out at the driveway, his eyes settling on Grayson in the distance who was laughing at something Scott said.

"Thank you," Chris sighed, his voice quiet and filled with genuine appreciation. "I don't think I've ever said it, but thank you for making me a dad."

His words almost brought tears to my eyes, but I shook my head.

"Chris, you don't need to than-"

"I do," he insisted, cutting me off. "He's the best thing that ever happened to me and he wouldn't be here without you."

"I could say the same," I pointed out, trying to ignore the way his thumb was stroking the back of my hand. "He gets most of his good traits from you too. His kind heart, his sensitive little soul, his loyalty."

"His infuriating stubbornness."

"He gets that from both of us," I smiled. "He didn't stand a chance with that one."

"Well, I hope he gets some of your selflessness," Chris informed me, glancing over and looking a tad sheepish. "Because, as much as I disagree with it and I wish you'd be a little selfish, I get that you're trying to look out for him."

I felt my palms start to sweat and I wondered if he could feel it. I resisted the urge to snatch my hand away from his, trying to play it cooler than I felt. He was watching me closely as I mulled over his words until I found the strength to speak.

"I'm not so sure that it's just him that I'm trying to look out for," I admitted, exhaling a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. "I do think we have more to talk about, Chris, but I don't think this is the right time."

"You're right," he nodded. "I just felt like I owed you an apology after the other night. I let my feelings get the best of me and I came across a little harsh."

I was about to reassure him that he hadn't when the sound of honking interrupted our conversation. Our attention was pulled to the end of the driveway where two cars - belonging to Chris' mom and his sister - were pulling in as Scott moved Grayson and Dodger off to the side to let them past.

"Did you know they were coming?" I asked, surprised by the little motorcade.

"Nah, I had no idea," Chris shrugged. "We'll stay outside though, keep our distance."

I wasn't worried about that really, I knew all of Chris' family were staying very isolated and being smart about staying safe and we were technically allowed to have outdoor gatherings of up to ten people anyway with the current rules in place. I was surprised to see them though as we'd warned Grayson that he would only get to see most of his family over FaceTime. His excitement at that being untrue was clear as he frantically pedaled back up the driveway to greet his guests.

"Mama! Daddy! Look!"

I let Chris' hand fall away from mine as we stood, smiling at Grayson's excitement as everyone started getting out of their cars. They burst into a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday' making Gray's grin grow even more.

"Happy birthday, Grayson!" Lisa beamed as Grayson ran towards her full speed. He threw his arms around her legs before we could even remind him to keep his distance, but Lisa seemed unbothered by it. "Have you had a good day so far?"

"Yes!" Gray smiled up at her. "I got a bike!"

"I saw that!" Lisa matched his enthusiasm. "You're a lucky boy!"

Grayson shot her another smile before turning his attention to his cousins.

"Wanna try?"

His older cousins were probably too big, but Stella's hand shot up first and beat them to it anyway.

"That's really nice of you to share," I called over to Grayson. "But share your helmet too, okay?"

He nodded and struggled with the clip for a few minutes before Lisa helped him take it off and placed it on her granddaughter's head.

Once they were all happy, chasing Stella and Dodger around the drive way, the adults moved over towards us. Lisa was the first to speak, a guilty look on her face.

"I hope you don't mind us just showing up like this, but we couldn't stay away on his birthday..."

"It's great!" Chris assured her. "Don't worry about it."

"And Grayson seems thrilled," I added. "It's nice for him to have other kids to run around with for a bit."

We all turned to watch them as they played until Carly let out a laugh.

"Are Grayson's shoes on the wrong feet?"

I hadn't even noticed, but I laughed as well when I realized that she was right.

"Some days just getting him in shoes at all is a victory," Chris defended himself. "And today was one of those days."

"He's like the energizer bunny this morning," Scott joked. "I can't imagine what he'll be like after we get some cake into him."

"Just think how well he'll sleep tonight," Carly pointed out. "He has to crash eventually."

"I hope so," Chris smiled. "He had me up at six o'clock this morning, I need an early night."

That earned a laugh from the group as his siblings teased him about being such an old man, but I felt a pang of sympathy for him, knowing that he'd been up early with Grayson a lot lately. Maybe it was because we were at his house so it was what Gray was used to, but Chris was definitely the favourite for the early morning wake up call.

We stood in our little circle for a while, just catching up as we watched the kids, all of us enjoying conversation with someone other than the people we were locked up with twenty-four hours a day. It was nice for me to have some female company as well even though Lisa was very pleased to hear that her boys were pulling their weight around the house and not just treating me like some kind of live-in maid.

It didn't take long for the kids to get tired of sharing the bike, especially the older boys who were too big for it anyway, and soon they were swarming around us demanding that we all play a game. After being cooped up for so long, it didn't seem like a bad idea to get us all moving around a little so we agreed and set about the daunting task of finding something everyone was willing to play.

Eventually, we settled on capture the flag - girls against boys. Lisa decided she'd make a better referee than a player so the boys team had one extra member, but they had three children to our one so it hardly seemed like the extra person would cause any unbalance.

The rules of the game were simple: each team had three flags in our 'end zone' at opposite ends of the large grassy part of Chris' yard and the other team had to try to steal those flags. We had to grab it and run it all the way back to our own end zone to score a point, but once it was safely 'captured' it couldn't be stolen back. If someone managed to snatch a flag, but was tagged on their way back to their end zone then they had to give the flag back.

Lisa was very firm in reminding her children that tackling was not allowed as the Evans siblings were fiercely competitive and it had apparently led to trouble over the years. Once the rules were all set, we took our places and started the game.

The teams were fairly evenly matched. The boys had more strength, but we had more agility and were much better at communicating and working together which led to us easily scoring the first point. While Stella distracted Scott, Carly snuck past him to snatch the flag and she tossed it to Shanna who faked a pass to Stella before throwing it to me to get it to the safe zone. It was a beautifully executed play that showed the boys we weren't messing around.

"Oh, it's on now," Chris called out as he sprinted past me.

Shanna bolted after him, but he managed to grab the flag and throw it to Ethan before she caught up. With all the other boys guarding him, he made it all the way back to their end zone without getting tagged.

"I think having a super soldier on your team is an unfair advantage ," Carly huffed, but Chris shook his head with a smirk.

"Nah, because we have Scott too so it balances out."

"Hey!" Scott protested. "I'll switch teams if you're going to be rude!"

Stella jumped for joy at that idea, pleading with him to come onto our side, but the rest of the boys voiced their protests and he decided that, as long as there was no more hurtful comments, he would stick to his team for now. I used their bickering as a distraction though as I snuck closer towards their unguarded flags. I managed to grab one before Scott noticed and called out a warning to the rest of his team, but when I took off running and Grayson charged towards me, I didn't have the heart to out run him on his special day. I slowed down enough that he wouldn't realize I was letting him win and groaned dramatically as he tagged me, making me give up the flag.

"I did it!" He cheered. "Daddy! Did you see? I did it!"

Stella had a disappointed scowl on her face, but everyone else was understanding as they watched Chris scoop him up onto his shoulders, chanting his name as if he'd just won the World Cup while he carried him back to replace the flag.

Their celebration was short-lived though as we managed to steal the flag again almost as soon as Chris and Grayson were far enough away from it. After another perfectly executed play, the score was sitting at 2-1 for us. The pressure was on after that as we only needed one more point to win, it ramped up the competitive spirit.

We were off to a great start in the next round. Shanna got the flag quickly, but Scott had her cornered almost immediately so she tossed it to me. I got about ten steps before Chris was on my heels and I was forced to throw it over to Carly. Chris turned and went to chase after her instead and without even thinking, I leapt on his back to stop him.

"Hey!" He protested, slowing to a stop despite how he was clearly unaffected by my weight. "Is anyone seeing this? This has got to be a foul! She tackled me!"

"I did not tackle you!" I insisted, clinging to his shoulders with my legs wrapped around his waist. "If it was a tackle, you'd be on the ground."

Chris wiggled around, trying to throw me off his back as Carly sauntered into our end zone with the flag.

"The only reason I'm not on the ground is because you're too weak," Chris argued before shouting to his mom. "That doesn't count!

"No, Mama," Grayson joined in, running over to us looking very disapproving. "No cheating!"

I laughed, but slid down from Chris' back.

"Sorry, I'm sorry!" I held my hands up as I apologized. "I can't outrun Captain America, I had no choice!"

"Well, now you lost the point," Chris teased me, shoving me playfully and making me stumble a step away from him. "So, lets keep it fair and stop trying to cheat."

I swatted back at him as I stuck out my tongue while Lisa made the official call that the point didn't count and Scott took the recently captured flag back to the boy's end zone.

Chris had a new twinkle in his eye as the next round started. He hadn't let me get very far away from him and I quickly realized that I'd made a mistake by antagonizing him. I would be useless to my team if he was on my tail the whole time, but he was a tank and incredibly fast so getting away from him was next to impossible. I watched helplessly as Scott and Miles easily took our flag and dashed it back to their end zone to tie the score.

"Chris!" I whined as I tried to get around him like I was a cornered puppy, trying not to get caught. "Get away from me, you big oaf!"

"Oh, wow," Chris chuckled. "Let's not start calling names and being mean."

I tried to dart past him again, but groaned as he blocked my path.

"You're infuriating!"

"It's all part of the game."

The smirk on Chris' face had my competitive side firing up as I could see behind him that Miles had snatched our last flag. Stella was hot on his heels though, so he had no choice, but to pass to Grayson who was coming our way. Was I going to stop my three year old son from scoring the game winning point on his birthday? Probably not. But I had to at least make my attempt genuine so I came up with a plan.

"Is that..." I squinted off into the distance on the other side of the yard. "Is that Dodger chasing a cat?"

My Oscar worthy performance had Chris spinning around to check out what I saw and it gave me enough time to bolt away towards Grayson who wasn't far away from winning the game for his team. I made it an impressive five steps before Chris figured out what I'd done and came after me. Grayson saw what was happening and dodged to the left so I followed, but my change of direction gave Chris an opportunity. The next thing I knew, I felt a crash against my hips before I was lifted from the ground and found myself dangling over Chris' shoulder.

I let out a squeal of surprise as I kicked my legs, trying to get down, but Chris had a tight grip on me and there was no getting away. The ease with which he threw me around wasn't at all distracting and there wasn't a single part of me that was revelling in his strength. Not at all.

"This is absolutely a tackle!" I protested, focusing my mind back onto my predicament. "Put me down!"

"If this was a tackle, you'd be on the ground," he mocked me. "This is payback."

I had a nice view, my head only inches above 'America's ass' so, swept up in the moment of playfulness between us, I reached down and gave it a smack. He yelped and jumped, shaking me as he did.

"Chris! Put me down!"

My demands were weakened by the giggles that I couldn't hold back, but thankfully Scott stepped in to help me regain some dignity.

"Alright, you two," he called over. "Can we get back to the game now or would you like us all to give you some time alone?"

A blush covered my cheeks as I remembered that his entire family was around us and was relieved when he lowered me to the ground.

"Games over," Chris called back. "Grayson scored!"

Grayson jumped up and down happily, but Stella had a scowl on her face.

"Nuh uh! When Whitney tackled you, it didn't count!" She pointed out. "Grayson's point doesn't count too!"

The joy on Grayson's face fell into a look of anger as he stomped his foot at his cousin’s claim.

"It does!" He insisted. "I did it!"

"Now look what you've done," I playfully scolded Chris quietly before shouting to the rest of the group. "I think we're going to have to let them have the point, ladies. I wouldn't have been able to catch up to Grayson even if Chris didn't cheat..."

Stella's jaw dropped in clear shock that I hadn't supported her protests, but to stop the war before it could start, Chris chimed in.

"Grayson didn't need my help to score that point, I shouldn't have interfered," he started. "But why don't we call it a game and go have some cake?!"

The promise of sugar seemed to quash any animosity between the teams as all the kids let out a shriek of approval at that suggestion and took off running back to the house.

"Oh, yes," Carly sighed. "Because what my children clearly need right now is more energy..."

"It's Gray's birthday," Chris shrugged with a smile as we all followed the children at a much more reasonable pace. "We have to have cake!"

"And if it wasn't his birthday then I wouldn't have let you win."

My taunting earned a bark of laughter from Chris.

"Let us win? Yeah, sure, okay. You just keep telling yourself that you're faster and stronger than me," he teased. "Whatever makes you feel better."

I shoved him, but he was braced for it and I ended up more affected by the impact than him which proved his point, putting a smirk on his face.

"Asshole," I muttered as I shook my head, but I couldn't hold back a smile at how nice our affectionate teasing felt.

By the end of the day, we were all exhausted. It had been a fun and very special day for Grayson so we were thrilled for him, but exhausted nonetheless. Gray fought his bedtime with all the will power he had, eager for the day to go on just a little bit longer, but we won out in the end and he made it to bed on time. Scott had gone to his own room while we were fighting with him and Chris and I parted ways shortly after to get some much needed quiet time of our own.

I found myself distracted though, when I was finally alone, as the importance of the day had me feeling sentimental. Watching Grayson grow up and hit these milestones was a joy, but it left me feeling a bit reminiscent of the years gone by. Years when he was even smaller than he was now, just starting to figure out the world and how to speak, walk and be a part of it. The time was really flying by and as I began to scroll through old videos of his first year of life, the nostalgia was almost too much to bear.

Eventually, I stumbled on a video that had distinct parallels of today.

It was a video of Grayson's first birthday when we'd given him his own little cake and let him go to town on it. Of course, as many babies do, he'd stared at it for a moment before smashing his face directly into it. It was adorable and tugged on my heart strings considering how comparatively neat his cake consumption was earlier that day. He'd grown so much in such a short time and I felt compelled to share my discovery with Chris so I dragged myself out of bed and crept down to his room.

There was a fluttering of nerves in my stomach as I knocked on his bedroom door, the feeling only growing as he called out an invitation to come inside. I did as he'd asked and let myself in, finding him leaning back against the headboard of his bed - wearing nothing but his pajama pants - with his own phone in his hand.

"Hey," he smiled. "What's up?"

"I found a video," I told him, standing awkwardly near the foot of his bed. "I was feeling a little sad about how fast Gray is growing up so I was looking back, watching old videos and I found one that I thought you might like to see."

Chris’ smile widened and he eagerly patted the bed next to him, encouraging me to sit. I took him up on his offer and settled in as I unlocked my phone and started the video.

"He was so little..."

Chris' observation came as the camera settled on Gray where he sat in his high chair. Chris was right next to him, a grin on his face as he chatted happily to our son despite the nonsense babble that he got in response. I appeared on the screen after a few moments, carrying a tiny cake as everyone started to sing Happy Birthday. Grayson had a look of confusion on his face as he looked around at the crowd, but his eyes widened when the cake was placed in front of him.

"Go on, Gray," I prompted once the singing had stopped. "You can taste it."

He needed no more encouragement and simply face planted right into it, popping up a moment later with blue icing from the tops of his eyebrows to the bottom of his chin. He had a huge, cheeky grin on his face as he looked at us and, just as he did in the video, Chris laughed next to me.

"Oh, man, it kills you, doesn't it?" He questioned before clarifying. "How cute he is."

I hadn't realized that Chris' arm had found its way behind me when he leaned in to watch until I felt his breath on my hair as he spoke and I couldn't resist leaning back, tucking myself under his shoulder. The whole day, the knowledge that my baby was growing up, had me needing some comfort. It was exciting, to see him learn and shift from a baby to a little person, but at the same time, I felt the overwhelming urge for time to stop.

"It does," I agreed, letting my phone fall to the bed beside me. "I can't believe how much he's changed since then."

"In some ways," Chris agreed, looking down at me with a smirk. "In others, he's still that goofy, reckless baby."

"If he's anything like you, he'll probably never grow out of being goofy and reckless."

I felt Chris' shoulders shake as he chuckled at my teasing and I was reminded of the last time we'd been cuddled up, in a similar position to this, in his bed. I felt a flood of warmth run through my body at the memory as I was suddenly aware of how close we were, aware of how good he smelt and how strong his hard muscled arm felt as I leaned against it.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I meant it as one," I assured him. "I like that you're goofy. Your recklessness used to give me anxiety sometimes, when you'd always insist that you just had to do your own stunts on Captain America as if you really thought you were a super soldier, but I like that you're willing to take risks."

"Awe, gee, Whitney," he teased, squeezing me closer against him. "It was nice of you to worry about me."

"Of course I worried," I rolled my eyes. "Your muscles are bigger than your brain sometimes."

"Not anymore..." Chris held up the arm that wasn't currently around me and flexed his muscles, showing off a bicep that was still much larger than most even if it wasn't quite up to the Avengers standard. "I'm out of shape."

Against my own best interest, I turned slightly, letting my hand drift up towards his arm as my head fell against his chest. I traced over the bulging muscle and watched as tiny goosebumps rose up on his skin at the sensation. Skin that felt so soft under my touch and I felt his breath shift as he clearly felt the mood between us change the same way that I did. I felt emboldened by how amorous our emotional day had left me as I let my head tip back to find him looking down at me with the same intensity he had a few months ago.

My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't help myself. Despite every alarm bell going off inside my brain, I stretched up just enough to press my lips against his. For a moment, he relaxed. His shoulders dropped as my fingers curled around the arm they were just stroking, but then suddenly his entire body tensed as if he'd been shocked by a bolt of electricity. He jerked away, sliding out from under me and off the bed before I could even realize what was happening.

"No," he said firmly, pointing his finger at me the same way he did to Dodger when he was being naughty. "No, no, we're not doing this again. Not until we talk about it what's going on here."

I felt the sting of rejection so harshly that it almost brought tears to my eyes, but I knew he was right.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked out, my cheeks burning. "You're right. I shouldn't have done that."

My voice was shaking as I scrambled to stand up, the stunned look on Chris' face only adding to my embarrassment. We stood there, staring at each other with the bed between us, but he didn't speak and after a few moments of silence, my shame was overwhelming, kicking my flight instincts into gear.

"I'll go," I mumbled. "Sorry again."

I didn't wait for a response before darting towards the door, but Chris' voice stopped me before I could make my escape.

"Whitney, stop." He didn't shout, but his tone was firm and demanding enough that I froze on the spot. "We need to talk about this. We can't keep going on with it hanging above our heads."

I turned to face him, discovering that he'd moved closer and was standing by the foot of the bed. He was still a few feet away from me, but close enough that it felt almost suffocating and I bit my lip as I stared at his feet, unable to look him in the eye.

"I don't know what to say..."

"I can take it," he insisted, a hint of resignation in voice as he continued. "You've had plenty of time to think it over since our last conversation and you said earlier today that we needed to talk. If you're gonna turn me down, put whatever this is to bed, just do it now and get it over with."

I furrowed my brow in confusion at his words, my heart beating in my chest so fast that I could hear the blood pumping through my ears.

"Turn you down?" I questioned. "Why do you think I'm going to turn you down? I just kissed you."

"That didn't mean much at Christmas."

He had a very valid point and I felt another pang of guilt at how badly I was treating him. I was hot and cold, affectionate and withdrawn, unwavering in my decision one minute and unsteady the next. I hadn't spared much thought to how cruel that was and now that I'd realized, I couldn't hold back the frustrated groan that fell from my lips.

"I don't know what to do, Chris! I think I know what the right decision is. It's what always felt like the safer choice, but then there are times when that's just..." I paused, taking in a deep breath to work up a dash of courage. "It's not what I want."

Chris watched me closely as if choosing his next words very carefully.

"If the safer choice isn't what you want then it sounds like maybe you need to take a risk. You can't live your life making decisions out of fear."

My eyes narrowed. He was over simplifying the situation. That way of thinking might work if it was just the two of us, but with Gray in the middle, things were more complicated.

"It's not that straight forward."

I shook my head as I spoke, but Chris countered with a nod.

"Sure, it is," he shrugged before asking a question that almost stopped my heart. "Do you love me?"

I stared at him, opening my mouth to speak and then closing it again when the words didn't come. I stood there, gaping at him like some kind of ridiculous puffer fish, until I finally got a word out.

"What?"

A smirk slid onto Chris' face at my floundering as he repeated the question.

"Do you love me?" He asked. "And don't say it doesn't matter or it's not important. Just yes or no."

I stared at him for a moment longer as a war between my head and heart raged inside me. Deny, deny, deny was what my head was screaming, but in the end the quiet reminder of now or never from my heart was what won out.

"Yes, I do," I admitted, proud of my voice for not breaking. "I always have."

There was a grin on Chris' face now, but my stomach churned because it didn't mean anything. As I said, I'd loved him all along and yet here we were, no better off.

"That's all that matters then," he insisted. "We can figure out the rest."

"But what if we can't figure it out?" I protested, crossing my arms as if I could somehow fold into myself and disappear completely. "What if it's nice for a while and then it all comes crashing down around us? What about Gray?"

He shrugged again. His whole demeanour miles away from my own. He seemed confident, hopeful, almost excited while I felt nauseous, terrified and paralyzed by fear.

"But what if it doesn't? What if it all works out nicely? Why are you so convinced that we wouldn't last?"

"Because you're you," I reminded him, my tone flat as I stated the obvious. "Hollywood super star, Chris Evans. And I'm me, a boring nobody. You could have pretty much any famous actress you want, the only person who wants to be with me is the creepy maintenance worker in our apartment building."

Chris looked taken aback as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What? I've never heard about this guy."

"He's just some weird guy who does the repairs," I shrugged. "He comments on my outfits and looks at me in this way that makes my skin crawl, but he's harmless."

"Doesn't sound harmless to me," Chris argued, crossing his arms as a thunderous look settled on his face. "Does he have access to your place?"

"No!" I assured him, but after my quick answer I realized that I wasn't so sure. "Well, I don't know. He might have a spare key, I guess. If most maintenance people do? They have to give me notice before they enter the apartment anyway."

"Unless he's sneaking in to perv on you."

"Chris! That's gross!" I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Why would you put that thought in my head?!"

"I told you that you should have let me buy you a house," Chris huffed. "You're moving when all this covid shit is over."

"Oh my god," I groaned having flashbacks to our conversation a few weeks ago about him buying me a car. "All of this is so beside the point! We're talking about how you'd get bored of me and leave me heartbroken for some flashy Hollywood babe, remember?"

"Right," Chris nodded, letting his arms fall to his side. "But that's such a ridiculous idea that I thought it was hardly worth acknowledging."

His dismissal of one of my biggest fears sent a flash of anger through me.

"How is it ridiculous?" I snapped. "It's true!"

"You know me, Whitney," Chris sighed. "You know that my team had to practically force me into doing Captain America because I had one foot out the door of the whole acting gig and I hated the way Hollywood made me feel. Do you really think that I would give up a chance at a having family with you, someone who I really care about, for some wild, short-lived fling?"

His tone conveyed his disbelief, but he hadn't quite accurately interpreted what I meant.

"I think you'd regret it," I clarified. "I think that once the initial excitement wore off, you'd see that I'm nothing special and that I don't fit in your world."

Chris was looking at me as if I'd grown an extra head and I crossed my arms a little tighter around myself.

"We were friends long before Grayson came around and I've always thought that you were something special. Where is all this insecurity coming from, Whitney? Because I just don't get it."

I swallowed hard as I bit my lip. I felt incredibly vulnerable and the urge to run away and continue ignoring all my feelings seemed much preferable to standing here and analyzing them all, but I stayed strong. We were both adults and this was the only way to move forward. Whether it ended how Chris wanted or not, he deserved to know how I felt.

"I spent a long time convincing myself that you didn't care about me as anything more than a friend. I told myself that it was an insane idea because we're in two very different leagues so there was no point getting my hopes up. Then that night happened and I thought that maybe I'd been wrong, that it could be the start of a really good thing, but then you were gone by the time I woke up and you never called."

I barely choked out the last few words as I fought back the tears that were swimming in my eyes. An unmistakable look of guilt flashed onto Chris' face and he opened his mouth to comment, perhaps to defend himself, but I held up a hand to stop him. I needed to get it out or I never would.

"Then three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant," I continued. "I assumed from your silence that you didn't want to be with me and I knew that we were good together as friends so I kept my feelings to myself and spent the last three and a half years beating myself up for thinking for even one second that you would want to be with me."

"I did want to be with you..."

Chris was looking at me with those puppy dog eyes that he'd mastered and I sniffled as a tear slipped down my cheek.

"I know that now, but I can't just turn those thoughts off."

Chris sighed and rubbed his hands over his face before holding out his arms.

"C'mere."

I shook my head, wiping my tears as I worried that I'd fall apart completely if I stepped into his arms, but when he persisted and gestured me over again, I couldn't resist. I took the few steps needed to close the space between us and let my arms slide around his waist. He hugged me close to his body, burying his face in my hair as pressed mine into his muscled chest. We stayed like that for a few moments until Chris broke the silence.

"I'm sorry. I was an idiot," he apologized, his words muffled by my hair. "I should have fought for you. At the very least, I should have stayed until you woke up and I should have called, but I was scared too."

I felt more tears fill my eyes as I choked out a soft "I know".

Another silence fell between us before Chris spoke again, his words making my heart almost stop completely.

"I was going to propose." I pulled back at that confession, my eyes wide as I looked up at him unable to process his words fast enough to speak before he continued. "I called my mom up as soon as you told me you were pregnant. I wanted her to help me pick out a ring, but she talked me out of it. Said you'd think I was doing it for all the wrong reasons."

My heart fluttered back to life at the sincerity in his admission, but I nodded my head.

"Your mom is a smart lady," I told him. "I absolutely would have thought you were only doing it because you felt you had to."

"It wasn't out of obligation though," he insisted. "Maybe I was getting a bit ahead of myself leaping straight to marriage, but I cared about you. It was an opportunity to make it official, make that commitment and be a family. That's what I wanted."

I stayed quiet, resting my head back against his chest as I tried to take in all this new information. It was a lot to process especially when it directly contradicted the belief I had clung to for so long - that Chris and I would never work and for Grayson's sake we were better off apart. That assumption was so deeply embedded in my brain that it was hard to find the courage to take such a risk.

As if Chris could sense my lingering indecision, he continued.

"It's still what I want," he said softly. "Being here these last few weeks with you and Grayson as a family has been a dream come true. I wouldn't give it up for anything or do anything to jeopardize it if you'd just give me a shot."

The word 'okay' was so close to the tip of my tongue that it shocked me.

That was all I had to do, just open my mouth and agree and he would be mine.

My heart was pleading with me to do it, to take that leap and ignore any of the arguments against it that were running through my mind - especially now that those arguments seemed much less sound than they had a few short weeks ago. I was so conflicted that it almost physically pained me to have to make a decision and I couldn't help, but wonder how he could be so certain.

So, I leaned back and tilted my head so my eyes could meet his.

"How can you be so sure?" I questioned. "After how things have been these last few years, how can you be so confident in your feelings?"

"Because I love you," he told me plainly and with unwavering surety. "If you tell me right now that it's not what you want, then I'll accept your decision. But if there's a hint of a chance, then I'll wait as long as I need to. I've been waiting for years, thinking that I didn't even have a shot, I think I can wait a little longer now that I know that I might."

It was another heart wrenchingly honest explanation, another vulnerable admission, and something in the openness with which he spoke made me realize that over the last three years he had done nothing to earn any distrust from me. Even after the fallout from Christmas, he'd put his hurt feelings and pride aside to make things easier for me. He'd been sincere during every discussion we'd had since then and hadn't been cruel or impatient about my indecision. I had no reason at all, other than my own fear and insecurities, to assume that he was going to break my heart and tear apart our family.

He deserved a little bit of trust from me as well and a clarity washed over me as I finally knew what I had to do.

There were words I could have said, probably should have said, but I didn't feel like there was anything that would accurately portray how I was feeling. I settled for a more direct approach as I pressed up onto my toes and let my lips fall against his.

He tensed at first and for a brief, heart stopping moment, I thought he might push me away again, but he didn't. He relaxed, pulling me closer as my hands slid to cup his neck.

It was a soft kiss. A gentle, loving kiss, that I hoped conveyed what I couldn't figure out how to say. But when our lips parted and he leaned down to rest his forehead on mine, there was a concern in his eyes that told me I wasn't going to get away with it that easily.

"What does that mean?"

I bit my lip, staring up past his long eyelashes into his eyes. There was still a tiny voice in my head telling me to run, to stop being so foolish and leave now before I made a mistake, but my heart had found its footing now and wasn't going to back down. Listening to my head all this time hadn't made things any easier, so it was time to try something else.

"It means," I started, taking in a shaky breath. "I don't want to keep you waiting anymore."

Chris let out a breath of relief as a tentative smile slid onto his face.

"Really? You're sure?"

I swallowed hard and nodded my head.

"Yes," I breathed out, my voice thick with all the emotions swirling through me.

He dipped his head a touch lower until our lips were reconnected. It was a deeper kiss, more desperate than the first as his tongue slid against mine and his grip tightened on my waist, my nails scraping against the fuzz of his recently cut hair. I caved into him, clinging to him like he was a lifeboat in a storm until he pulled back to take a breath.

My chest heaved against his, the adrenaline of his touch and what this finally meant, almost too much to handle. I settled back down, flat on my feet and nuzzled my face back into his chest as I fought to calm my racing mind and just enjoy the moment.

"You really mean it?" Chris asked again, the shakiness of his voice filling me with another pang of guilt. "You really want to give this a try?"

"I mean it," I nodded against him. "Doesn't mean my concerns have all vanished in the last five minutes, but I...I think I need to trust you."

"I won't let you down," he murmured into my hair as he pulled me even closer. Another silence fell between us until I broke it with an embarrassingly large yawn and Chris' chest shook as he chuckled. "Do you wanna sleep down here tonight?"

As soon as he'd asked the question, it suddenly hit me how exhausted I was. Even just the thought of walking upstairs seemed like an impossible task when there was such an inviting, comfortable bed only steps away from where I stood. But a thought popped into my head that I couldn't ignore and I turned my head slightly so I wasn't speaking directly into Chris' muscles.

"What about Gray?" I asked. "He always comes to you in the morning..."

"Would it matter?"

His tone wasn't accusing or annoyed, but genuinely curious as sharing a child did add a strange new element to all this. I didn't really know what the best way to handle it was since Grayson didn't really understand our relationship or know how a typical family was set up anyway, but it didn't seem like the best way to introduce him to the idea.

"I think we should talk to him about it instead of just letting him stumble on us in bed together," I suggested. "But I think maybe we should wait a while?"

Chris' face fell as the look of worry returned.

"You want to keep this a secret?"

"I didn't mean it like that," I shook my head. "You can tell whoever you want, but I think we should figure things out, make sure things are stable between us before we try to explain it to Gray."

"Alright, that's fair," Chris agreed before leaning down to place another soft kiss on my lips. "I'll wake you up before he comes down."

"Okay," I nodded as I let my thumb stroke his cheek.

We reluctantly slipped out of each other's arms, but it was a brief separation as we climbed into opposite sides of the bed. Once we'd turned the lights off, we met in the middle and he pulled me back against his chest, letting me hook my leg over his hip as we settled against each other.

Chris ran a hand up and down my spine as he nuzzled in my hair.

"This feels nice..."

"It does," I hummed. With the darkness around us, the quiet that had settled in, I felt encouraged to say something that I'd felt I should have said long ago. "I'm sorry, Chris."

I felt him tense.

"For what?"

"For messing you around so much," I admitted. "Especially at Christmas...that wasn't cool."

"If I had expectations, I should have laid them out before anything happened." His answer sounded rehearsed, as if he'd spent a long time convincing himself of that fact. I wasn't entirely sure it was a fair statement, but he continued before I could question it. "I can understand where you were coming from, but I promise I won't hurt you."

I felt a pang of uncertainty because that wasn't always a promise that could be kept, but the sincerity in his voice gave me hope. I placed a soft kiss against his chest as his hands slid up under the loose shorts I was wearing to cup my bum.

"I love you," I mumbled against his skin.

"I love you too," he replied, making a feeling of warmth flood through me. "Thank you for giving me a chance."

I sighed happily as my exhaustion had my eyes fluttering shut. I wanted to stay awake, to keep this moment before the brightness of the morning could bring any doubts or second guesses, but I was powerless to resist as sleep overtook me.

Part Five

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#chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fic #more hearts than mine

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