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#aka write the books that you want to see in the world
buhok-ng-bruha · 2 years
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Uh oh! A Jehovah’s Witness is at my door!
A guide on what the fuck is happening and what to do about it as a never JW, from an exJW.
JW congregations have just been told to start doing door-to-door preaching (aka ‘service’/‘service work’/‘witnessing’) again this September. They stopped for the past few years due to…well. The whole state of things. But it’s starting again! Fuck!
So, to get you folks in on the Secret Inner-workings of a Cult:
JWs do service work mostly on Saturdays and Sundays, but any day of the week is fair game, just less of them will be out on other days. Generally it’ll be in the mornings (anywhere between 9AM to 1PM being common, my family did 10AM to noon Saturdays), but any time of day is also fair game. Evening witnessing is encouraged, to catch parts of the service area who didn’t answer during morning service, like people who were at work or asleep.
JWs are given ‘territories’: entire neighborhoods if they’re a majority language and can generally bet on most of the people in a given area speaking that language; SPECIFIC ADDRESSES if they belong to a smaller language demographic. These are on ‘territory cards’, which include areas to fill out once they’ve called on houses. They often pull addresses from the phone book or other such directory, pulling based on name, or get referred new addresses from neighborhood sweeps in other congregations and were told x language was being spoken, so if you get called on by someone speaking your language and wonder how they got your address, it’s because they’ve collected data already! On You!
On that note: JWs collect data on you! A lot of it!! Those territory cards they fill out? They can include any information they gleaned from conversation (age? gender? personal details like if you’re married, if you live with your parents, etc? what religion do you belong to? any problems in your life they can ‘help’ with? any ‘problematic’ details, like if you’re queer? all of it.); if someone was home or not (yes we can see you peeking out from behind your curtains! we looked in windows!); if the person answering the door was uninterested; if they were aggressive; if they have dogs; if we were able to leave any publications with them; the details of any conversations we had, like which topics we discussed and which seemed to interest you the most; when to call on you again. The areas to fill this in on these cards are rather small so they usually only write down the most important information, but it is the most important information for trying to indoctrinate you into a cult. DO NOT give them any personal information. It will be used against you.
So that’s the gist of it. Now, you don’t want them at your door, probably.
Please do not harass them.
I know they’re annoying. We always knew we were being annoying. They do it anyways because they think they’re helping you. They often have children with them - not only because it’s often families going preaching together, but also because it’s a well known tactic to get a softer response from people they call on, to have a child with you. Even if there are no children, please do not harass JWs - they are cult victims, and doing so will only enforce their ‘us vs them’ mentality, and discourages members from leaving. The outside world hates you so much, so how can you leave?
“But what if—“ Nope! Beyond the whole ‘don’t be fucking cruel to abuse victims’ thing, it doesn’t even work! I’ve been threatened with dogs; my mother has been threatened with machetes; others have been flashed, or physically assaulted - we still went back eventually. Usually someone else would get the assignment, and usually we’d wait a bit, but we still went back.
“Okay, but what the fuck do I do, then?”
You open the door (yes, open the door; if you ignore them they’ll return again, assuming they just missed you or you were busy), let them tell you what they’re there for, and before the conversation goes further, you simply say:
“I’m not interested. Please put me on your do not call list.”
And then you tell them goodbye. Nothing more. Don’t say you have your own religion. Don’t say you’re queer. Don’t try to use the ‘magic word’ apostate - actual former members can get harassed.
Unfortunately, despite this being the most successful and least harmful strategy, it isn’t 100% foolproof. They’re supposed to write ‘do not call’ on the territory card next to your address, but they’re human and forget sometimes (or might not mark it intentionally, though I haven’t seen that personally); the next person who gets that card might not see the mark, as well. On top of everything else, even if not forgotten, they will eventually come back. It’s policy to come by after some time to check on you, ‘just in case’: just in case you changed your mind, just in case you moved and there’s someone else there now, just in case, oh, you recently had a loved one pass away and suddenly find yourself in an emotionally vulnerable position in need of support and sympathy.
If you have the knowledge and mental/emotional energy and stability to, you can go about trying to debate them, maybe help some of them doubt, but it is no easy task and there is no guarantee of any success. It takes a lot of patience. They are undergoing some extreme brainwashing and ‘waking up’ is incredibly traumatizing, and you will face a lot of resistance in trying to deconvert any of them. Again, only attempt this if you have the energy, stability, and knowledge required - the delicacy required, too. Otherwise, remember, it’s
“I’m not interested. Please put me on your do not call list.”
Nothing more.
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scarlethexelove · 2 months
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Please Don't Leave Me
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Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Word Count: 4281
Warnings: Angst, Pregnant!Reader, Natasha being an ass, injuries, Depression, Wanda being the bestest of friends.
Part 2: Gone
A/n: Had this one in my head for some time and finally decided to write it. As it always seems these fics just seem to run wild and get longer than I mean them to be. I can tell you all right now I'm pretty sure your not going to like the ending very much 😅
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN
“Natty.” You try to get your wife's attention as she moves around the room quickly. Natasha is shoving things in a bag. “Nat.” You try again, but she doesn’t stop. Frantically moving around the room grabbing whatever she can. “Natasha!” You finally yell at her. She still doesn’t stop her movements. “Y/n I can’t right now.” She says shoving the last of her things in her bag. “Nat I have something important to tell you.” You try to reason with the woman, but she just zips her bag throwing it over her shoulder and walks past you. “There are things you don’t understand. I have to go.” You grab her arm and she finally looks back at you. “I really need to tell you this.” You try to reason with her. Your eyes pleading with her just to let you talk. But she shakes her head and pulls her arm from your grasp. “There are more important things than you right now.” She makes it to the door letting it creak open. “We will talk when I get home.” She doesn’t face you, only slightly turning her head before she is gone. “Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.” You see her hesitate in the door but she shakes her head before slamming the door shut behind her. 
Your heart shatters in your chest as your legs buckle beneath you. A muffled thud is heard as your knees hit the ground. Your hand covers your mouth as a sob escapes the depths of your chest. You pull the small stick from your back pocket looking down at the two pink lines. “I’m pregnant.” You whisper to yourself like somehow Nat will hear you and come back, but you know she won’t. To Natasha her job has always been more important than anything. She loves being an Avenger and helping people, but it always comes at a cost to you. You had a sliver of hope that maybe just maybe this could change that. After what she had gone through in the red room she was pretty sure that she couldn’t get you pregnant but here you are. The prospects of having a child had given you hope that maybe she would come back to you. Be the loving wife that you know she can be. The little pink lines now taunting you as tears splash down on the plastic blurring your vision and the once prominent lines. 
It seems like hours before you finally pick yourself up off the ground. Finally having cried all the tears away. Pulling yourself off the ground as you wipe your cheeks before making your way to your shared bedroom. It is empty, too empty. The book Nat was reading was still sitting face down open to the page that she had left it on. Moon light shining through the curtains illuminating the dark room. You don’t bother turning on the lights or changing clothes as you crawl into the cold bed. Seeming much larger now than ever before. You curl in on yourself, exhaustion from all the tears you have cried catching up to you. A pain in your chest as you finally drift off into nothingness. 
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Over the next few days multiple new stations report of the Avengers fighting one another. The chaos and destruction of a German airport. You place a hand over your lower stomach as the news flashes. ‘Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow has broken the Sokovia Accords. Now wanted for treason against the federal government.’ If you thought your heart couldn’t break more you were wrong. 
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It has been nearly four months since that fateful day. The day your world shattered around you. You had hoped that one day maybe Nat would try and contact you but those hopes had been dashed over a month ago. She had moved on and so should you. You slowly pack your things in the home that you once shared with your wife. You’re not even sure if you should call her that anymore. A single tear running down your cheek at the thought. You still love her deeply but you can’t live like this. You have a baby to think about now, you need to live for them. Placing your hand on your growing stomach as you gently rub your finger up and down feeling their movement and smiling. 
A phone ringing breaks you from the tender moment. You grab your phone looking down to see an unknown number calling you. Your heart stops a moment wondering if after all this time it is finally Nat calling you. You're so distracted by the tight feeling in your chest that the phone stops ringing and the call ends. You still stare blankly at the screen before it starts to ring again. Phone lighting up in your hand once again still showing unknown as the caller. 
This time you press the answer button. Your movements are slow as you bring it up to your ear. You open your mouth but no words come out, your breaths coming out erratic as you begin to panic. Your ear is soon filled with a soft voice. “Y/n/n?” That voice is distinct but not your wifes. “Y/n are you there?” The voice asks again. “W-Wanda?” Your voice trembles as your mind catches up. Your best friend is on the other side of the line. 
This is the first time you have heard from any of the Avengers for a long time. Tony once stopped by but you refuse to let him in. You didn’t listen to any of the words coming out of his mouth as he spoke through the door. If it wasn’t for him you don’t think you would be in this position right now and maybe your hopes for a better future with Nat would have come true. Wanda had sent a few letters letting you know she was ok. You couldn’t obviously send anything back due to now knowing where she was and the nature of the events and why she was also on the run. 
“Y/n/n?” Wanda’s voice breaks through your mind once again. “I-I’m sorry Wands. What were you saying?” Her words had been muffled by your mind. She shakes her head like you could possibly see her doing that. “Nothing sweetheart. Are you ok?” She can tell that something isn’t right. “Not really. I, I’m alone.” Wanda’s heart breaks for you. She may be on the run but she hasn’t been alone. “I’m tired, Wands.” You know you shouldn’t be thinking that with a child on the way but it has been hard. Tears start to fall down your cheeks as you sniffle into the phone. 
Wanda made a decision right there. “Sweetheart, I'm going to send Vision to come and get you.” She knows it could be dangerous to have you with her but she also knows that you’re not a wanted fugitive so if for some reason that she is caught you will be left alone. But she will do everything in her power to keep you safe. She can’t stand to hear you this hurt and down. “W-what if that gives away where you are?” You question not wanting to bring her into any danger. “I’m safe here. If you want to, you can come here. We have to move every so often. You don’t have to if you don’t want to but I’m not going to leave you alone. You always have me.” You cry tears of happiness for the first time in a long time. “Yes.” Your voice is small but hopeful. 
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You land with Vision somewhere in what you believe to be Belgium. Vision never mentioned anything to you about your pregnancy which you are thankful for. You see Wanda bound out of the small quaint house on the outskirts of the town. You watch as she stops in her tracks a few feet away from you. Your head dropping, not wanting to see her reaction. Scared that she wouldn’t want you around any more. 
“Y/n/n.” Wanda says quietly trying to get you to raise your gaze to hers but you don’t look up. Tears well in your eyes, scared to move, scared to look your best friend in the eye. Hands cup your face gently making you look up into green eyes. A soft smile on her face. “You're pregnant.” It’s not a question but a statement from the woman. You nod your head as she pulls you into her arms hugging you as tightly as she can without hurting you or the baby. 
Just then the flood gates break. A sob leaves you as tears cascade down your cheeks into Wanda’s shirt. You bury your head in her neck. A hand rubbing gently up and down your back as you're held for the first time in months. Your legs give out as you clutch to Wanda for dear life afraid that you're going to wake up and she will be gone. Wanda holds on gently guiding you both to the ground as she lets you cry. Your tears soak her shirt as you sob for what feels like forever. Wanda whispers reassurances in your ear as she just holds you. Her gentle motions on your back, not ceasing. 
Wanda lets you get out your pent up emotions. Sitting with you until your sobs turn into sniffles. “She left me. I never got to tell her.” You whisper, still gripping onto Wanda. “What sweetheart?” She asks, trying to get you to elaborate. “Natasha. I-I haven’t heard from her. She, she left that day to Germany. I tried to tell her. She, she told me that there were more important things than myself.” Wanda’s eyes swirl red with anger. How could Natasha do this to you? All she wants to do is fly off and break Natasha like she broke you. But Wanda comes back to reality when you grip her tighter, scared she will leave you just like Nat did. 
“Please don’t leave me.” If it was even possible Wanda’s heart broke for you more. Like herself you don’t have any family. All of yours were gone long ago, but you had found a family in the Avengers, a wife. But that family is now broken but Wanda is determined to show you that she is still your family. “I’m not going anywhere sweetheart. I will always be here for you.” She kisses your head smiling. “And for the baby.” More tears come to your eyes but from happiness. 
“So you and Vision?” You give a watery chuckle. Wanda nudges your shoulder and laughs. “Yeah.” She smiles happily when you pull back to look at her. “So like does he come with a vibrator setting?” You ask half joking half serious. “Oh my god Y/n!” Wanda exclaims, shocked by your bold question. You two laugh as she helps you off the ground leading you into the house. 
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“Are you sure you don’t want me to mention something to Nat?” Wanda asks you softly, causing you to look up from the book your head is buried in. You let out a sigh as this constant conversation. “If she wanted to know how I was doing she could have called me the same way you did.” You rub your swollen stomach. So close to meeting your precious little one. “Wands I know you are looking out for me and I also know how pissed you are at her. I also know that you partly want to tell her to rub it in her face on how royally she screwed up. She has had almost 9 months to find me. And I know that you said she has mentioned that she has done it for my own safety but at least hearing from her once would have been something. Instead she went no contact. The famous Black Widow knows how to send encrypted messages if she really wanted to.” 
Wanda knows how much you are right and every time she has to touch base with the team she has been distant and cold with Nat. She so badly wants to break her heart the way she has to you. She knows how much you still love Nat and would love to be a family. These times are hard though with everyone on the run so she bites her tongue and nods her head to your words. 
To get your mind off of things you put your book down and swing your feet off the bed. “Hey Wands, it's a nice night, maybe we can all take a walk.” Vision appears in the doorway. “That sounds like a lovely idea Y/n.” You smile at the synthezoid before giving a questioning look to Wanda. “Sure.” She nods her head. “But someone is going to have to help me with my shoes.” You chuckle trying to reach down to your feet which you can’t reach. The other two laugh before all of you put on some clothes and help you with yours. 
Wanda and Vision are holding hands as you walk through the streets of Edinburgh, the quiet street clearing your mind as you three walk peacefully. Vision stops Wanda to talk a bit as you waddle over to a window with a news cast playing. You watch on as a breaking news cast flashes on the screen. As the scene plays out in front of you you gasp. “Wanda.” You call for her. The conversation dies between the two as they come up behind you seeing as the screen plays footage of New York being attacked. You all stand there silently as death and destruction is shown on the screen. Tony Stark missing flashes on the screen and Vision looks to Wanda. 
“I have to go.” Vision says kissing Wanda’s hand that is still laced with his. He starts to walk away dropping her hand, Wanda pleads with him to stay. You start to drown them out as you watch the screen. Terrified that you may see something about Natasha come across it. Screams of pain makes you turn around seeing Vision impaled on a staff. “Vision!” Wanda screams, her hands glowing red ready to fight. 
Someone else blasts Wanda from behind sending her flying into a building across the street. With you close proximity you're thrown back hard. Trying to brace yourself you hear a sickening crack as your wrist impacts with the ground. You scream out in pain. “Y/n!” Vision yells when he hears your cry of pain. You turn on the ground seeing him do the same. The two who attacked turned him over on his back and the thing that stabbed him placed the sharp end of the staff on his head.
Vision’s screams can be heard through the quiet streets. You struggle trying to get yourself up knowing your wrist is broken, cradling it close to your chest. You watch as red balls of energy slam into the two creatures throwing them back. Wanda runs towards Vision using her magic and pulling you safely over to him. Pain is written all over her face as she looks over the both of you. She uses her magic to lift all of you off the ground pulling you closer to her as she tries to fly you all away from the area. You all are almost hit by a beam causing Wanda to have to bring you all down. Wanda lands you both down gently laying you on the ground before turning to catch Vision with her magic. 
“The blade, it stopped me from phasing.” Vision says as you see a bright yellow line in his body and he seems to be glitching. “Is that even possible?” Wanda asks, helping him sit up against the wall. “It’s not supposed to be.” He says, you can tell he is in pain. Your adrenaline is pumping so your wrist is just a dull ache at the moment. Wanda hovers her hand over Vision, her magic flowing and pulling the opening closed slowly but not completely. “I’m beginning to think we should have stayed inside.” You mumble feeling guilty that this could have been avoided if not for you avoiding your feelings about Nat. 
You and Wanda are pushed back by Vision as one of the creatures grabs Vision flying off and fighting against a building. The other comes and attacks you and Wanda. Wanda puts a barrier of magic around you. She starts to fight the female creature as your heart races in your chest. 
You lose sight of the both of them fighting. Wanda’s magic dissipates from around you allowing you to move forward looking for your friends. You can hear it now so clearly in your head like she actually is yelling at you. Natasha’s voice tells you to run and protect yourself, but Wanda is your best friend and she has been there for you. So you push that voice away following the commotion. You run into the train station seeing Vision propped against a railing. Wanda stands red surrounding her hands as the two creatures look ready to fight once again. 
Squealing of wheels from the train moving past has you all looking. A dark figure in the shadows looms behind the moving train. The female creature throws her trident-like spear at the figure when the train passes. The figure catching it perfectly as he walks into the light you see Steve Rogers. You try to get up behind the female creature but she quickly turns wrapping her hand around your throat. 
“Y/n!” Wanda screams. The female creature throws you back and you land on your back crying out in pain. You feel a gush of liquid between your legs after you hit the ground. Wings fly in front of you as Sam Wilson collides with the creature. You let your hand drift down feeling the wetness and bring your fingers back up into view, relieved that it isn’t blood, but your heart drops when you realize what is happening. You gasp in pain from the sharp feeling in your stomach. 
Wanda uses her magic again to pull you towards her and Vision. Wanda pulls you into her lap. That is when you spot her in the distance. The hair color may be different but she is still herself. Natasha fights with Steve against the creatures. You have tears in your eyes as you look up at Wanda. “Wands, I think my water just broke.” You groan in pain again. You can see the panic in her eyes as she looks around the area. It’s not long before the fighting is done and the other three walk over towards you three. 
Natasha stops dead in her tracks when she sees you. Your swollen stomach has her chest rising and falling a bit fast. She thinks maybe it could be someone else's but she knows deep down that the baby is hers. She wants to cry but she turns stone cold hiding her emotions. Hating herself for leaving you, for never reaching out in all this time. You cry out in pain causing her to look back to you. You're curled in on yourself in Wanda’s lap. “It hurts.” You whimper.  Wanda holds you closer to her. “I know sweetheart.” Wanda looks to the other three. “We need to get them out of here.” She can see the two men side eyeing her before Steve speaks up. “Quickly, get them to the Quinjet.” 
Natasha moves to help you but you pull away. “I have her, can you help Vision?” Wanda says flatly, Nat can only nod moving away and helping Vision up. Wanda effortlessly lifts you in her arms and you all make your way to the Quinjet. Your contractions are getting strong and closer together. Natasha can only watch from afar as you whimper in pain. Wanda helps you and Vision sits close holding his side. 
“We need to get her to a hospital.” Wanda says brushing the hair sticking to your forehead out of the way. “We will be at the compound in 30 minutes.” Steve explains. “Steve, I don't know if she can last that long.” She iterates looking back down at your pained face. “It’s the best I can do Wanda.” She sighs gently stroking your cheek. “It’s ok Wands. I’ll be o-” Your cut off by another contraction. All Nat can do is look on with regret. 
Once the quinjet finally lands Wanda lifts you in her arms again and runs into the compound they enter and see Rhodey talking to a hologram of Secretary Ross. “We need medical.” Natasha says out, causing Rhodey to turn and for Secretary Ross to start arguing. You can’t concentrate on what they are saying but you know it isn’t great. Rhodey ends the call and signals for medical, who come in with Bruce. 
As they wheel you away the team follows. Before Wanda can head in after you Nat grabs her arm. Wanda whips her head around anger evident on her face. “Please just tell me. Is it mine?” Wanda gives an amused chuckle. “Of course it’s yours.” She pulls her arm from Nat’s grasp and follows you in the room. Nat lets tears slip down her face. She left you alone pregnant with her child. Not once contacting you in the last nine months. She had told herself she was doing it to protect you and to keep you out of this life, but she was wrong and she sees that now. She understands now why Wanda became so cold towards her after a few months. She has to fix this. She has to be able to win you back and to become the family she always wanted and she will do anything to get that back. 
Natasha can hear your cries of pain as you go through labor wishing more than anything she could be there with you but you don’t want her to be. But you chose Wanda and she understands why. She soon hears other cries. The crying of her child as they are born. Tears slip down her cheeks as she hears them. The boys know not to go around her or to talk to her at this moment. She is breaking on the inside and all she has to blame is herself. 
An hour later Wanda walks out and comes over to Nat. Her head is down, not looking at the younger woman waiting for a scolding, but that doesn’t come. “You can go meet your son.” Wanda speaks with no emotion to her voice. Natasha looks up and Wanda can see she has been crying but that doesn’t change how angry Wanda is at her. “I have a son?” Nat whispers. Wanda just nods her head and moves out of the way. 
Natasha slips into the room quietly. Her heart stops seeing you laying in the bed with a blue bundle in your arms and a smile on your face. More tears spill as she quietly makes her way over to you. You don’t look at her until she is standing right next to you. “He’s beautiful.” Nat mumbles trying to stop the sob that so desperately wants to escape. You have a soft look on your face and she can’t read it. “Meet Alexander Pietro Romanoff.” You smile down at your son. Natasha lets the tears freely fall. “Romanoff?” She questions you. “Romanoff.” You repeat looking back up at her with a soft smile. She feels a flicker of hope that she can fix this, that she can have her family.
“Do you want to hold him?” You ask her softly and lightly lift him the best you can with your broken wrist. Nat nods and takes him from you holding him in her arms. She has so much love for him already that more tears well in her eyes. You watch her as she holds the baby and cries. 
“I’m sorry.” Nat whispers. “I'm so sorry.” She looks at you with teary eyes. “I know.” Is all you can respond with. She looks back down at the now sleeping boy. Just looking at him and remembering all of his features. She had seen the flicker of green in his eyes, the same as hers. But he looks so much like you. He is just as beautiful as you are. 
Loud beeping makes Nat’s head snap up. Your face is now pale and your eyes are closed. The sheets are staining red between your legs. Doctors rush in as she backs away holding her son close to her chest. He starts to cry with all the noise and commotion. Her heart rate picks up and she starts to panic. The voices of the doctors are muffled to her ears as she feels the blood rushing around. She can only focus on you, your face pale and your body limp in the bed as doctors work around you. They soon wheel you out of the room mentioning something about you hemorrhaging and needing to go to surgery. 
Nat starts sobbing in the empty room. All that is left is herself and her son. She slides down the wall begging to whatever is out there in the universe that you will be ok. That you will come back to her and your son. Promising that she will do better and be better. She will be the wife that she had promised in her vows. She will do anything for you to take her back, just please let you live. She whispers in the emptiness. “Please don’t leave me.”
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javelinbk · 10 months
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Here it is, Beatle People! The official 'Insane Things Paul Has Said About John' list, as created by the people of tumblr. I hope this is a useful supplement to the original McLennon iceberg
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Sources under the cut:
“He was a very cool boy” (@javelinbk)
"Whenever other people do that it always reminds me of John" (@javelinbk)
"We put our names next to each other in our school exercise books" (@beatlepaul4ever)
When was Lennon at his best? "When he was asleep." (@didwemeetsomewherebefore)
"A delicious broth of a boy" (@zilabee)
"A lovely little baby, John was" (@mallowedheart)
"Daddy's room" (@pauls1967moustache)
"We’re songwriting together even if we’re not together" (@midchelle)
"John seemed like some sort of emperor in control of it all" (@blondecasino)
"I'm trying to get my son to have a son and call him Lennon, and then he'll be Lennon McCartney" (@peaceloveandstarrs)
“John and I had millions of fabulous little experiences in Paris” (@divine-sphinx)
"We used to have wanking sessions" (@merseydreams)
"You can be heterosexual and be having a homosexual dream and wake up, and think, 'Shit, am I gay?'" (@skylikeaflame)
"It was a place called Menlove Avenue. [Pauses] Someone's going to read significance into that: Paul and John on Menlove Avenue. Come onnnnnnn" (@s-l-martin)
"I slept with him a million times" (@s-l-martin)
"A wild and woolly genius who it was my pleasure to work with, walk with, talk with, and occasionally sleep with." (@didwemeetsomewherebefore)
"In bed" (@i-am-the-oyster)
"Well, I’m sure Brian was in love with John, I’m sure that’s absolutely right. I mean, everyone was in love with John; John was lovable, John was a very lovable guy." (@whenyourbirdisbroken)
"Dear friend, throw the wine, I’m in love with a friend of mine." (@heartsinthebasement)
"We got very drunk and cried about how we loved each other" (@nikidontsurf)
“Then also we were like married, so you got the bitterness. It’s not a woman scorned this time, it’s two men scorned — probably even worse. And I had to make way for Yoko. My relationship with John could not have remained as it was and Yoko feel secure.” (@thefortunateisle)
"If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…" (@alienoriana, @majinmelmo)
"You just don’t hang around with your ex-wife" (@javelinbk)
"No, I have a lot of dreams about John, and they're always good" (@notgrungybitchin, @skylikeaflame)
"This (painting) is John’s Room. It just looked to me like John, when he had his long hair and then his cloak or whatever this is. Then I just scratched in that, looked like one of those drawings John used to do. You know his funny little men. So then I called that John’s room … If I’m gonna see a face in a painting it’s highly likely to be his." (@foryouwereinmysong)
"I wish I had sat and just hugged John all the time when we were together.’ (…) I’d just sit around and hug him forever. That’s the depth of my feeling for him" (@theoldmixer)
“Here Today - a love song to John” (@javelinbk, @bluewater9)
"So if you've got someone, you want to tell them you love them, just get it said, don't wait" (@lennon-gal)
And honourable mention for the following stories:
Stalking John all over Liverpool until Ivan officially got them introduced (@only-a-northern-soul)
‘He’s been telling himself and the whole world that nobody cared about writing songs and his music before he met John. He knew George Harrison.’ (@greatsaladavenue)
Quitting his job to commit to the band aka explicitly picking John over his father (@adriansfrombrooklyn)
Writing "Here, There, and Everywhere" by John's pool while waiting for him to wake up and write with him alone in his attic (@aint-that-kind-of-blog-bruv)
Taking the one photo of him and john from that night with the cursed pictures with jane and then blowing it up and hanging it in his office at apple (@pauls1967moustache)
Taking LSD so he could join John in his potentially bad trip (@scurator)
The time he vaulted over a table because another man was touching John and Paul had to physically intervene (@scurator)
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icyg4l · 6 days
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PAC: What Do You Need to Let Go Of?
Hello beautiful people! Today is Saturday aka Saturn Day. In honor of Saturn Day, the day associated with banishment, protection and responsibility. Today is the day we let go of what no longer serves us; the day where we can no longer ignore what sits heavy on our spirits. So without further ado, please choose your Saturn.
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Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-6)
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PILE ONE: “No More Mr. Nice Guy” is what I heard. I feel like you tend to have a lot of love & compassion for people. This doesn’t necessarily translate over to the other person/people though. You need to stop being so nice, Pile One. I think you have a lot of growing up to do. There is good and bad in everyone but what really matters is how this person makes you feel. Stop caring about the feelings of other people if you aren’t going to take yourself into consideration. This is why you always get taken advantage of. It’s okay to be a moody bitch sometimes. Having a sunny disposition 24/7 just isn’t realistic. Don’t act naive when you know the truth about certain situations. Move intentionally and with wisdom. If you don’t think they won’t do that, think again.
Cards Used: The Star, King of Cups, 7 of Cups, The Fool, The Moon, The Tower, Judgment.
PILE TWO: The movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind may resonate with you. I feel like you need to let go of your ex, seriously. You don’t have to forget about them but you do need to move past this person. They have caused much turmoil in your life, especially when it comes to your mental health. They could have indirectly negatively affected your finances as well. But there is someone else who is on the horizon. They want you to see the bigger picture. They want to show you better. If you have been writing notes about what you would like to see in your future partner, expect for these qualities to show up in someone that will soon approach you. They have a beautiful, colorful aura and they will let you shine. Your ex fucked you up bad but you can recover from this. Don’t be afraid to see what love has in store for you, my love.
Cards Used: King of Cups, The Magician, 2 of Cups (RX), The Star, The High Priestess, 5 of Wands, Judgment, Strength, The Fool.
PILE THREE: You’re a Virgo/Sagittarius, aren’t you? You don’t have to know and control everything, honey. Let go of the need to be involved in everything. You have been neglecting your soul’s needs. You have a lot of potential to grow but you don’t know how to accept help nor do you allow yourself to just be. You’re so uptight and burnt out right now. It would benefit you to just walk away from stress-inducing situations. If you know you can’t take that extra shift at work, why even bother? Who are you trying to please? You are making it hard for yourself to maneuver through this world peacefully because you do not know how to enjoy what’s in front of you. If only you could see the beauty of your labor. Slow down. Why are you going so hard for? You’re so used to making things happen that you get frustrated when things don’t work out your way. A word of advice: Please just allow time to do its thing. Don’t work against it.
Cards Used: The Sun (RX), Ace of Cups, Strength, 2 of Discs (RX), King of Wands, 7 of Wands (RX), 3 of Discs, 10 of Swords, The Magician, The Hierophant.
PILE FOUR: Christmastime must be your favorite time of the year, huh? I feel like you could also have a strong connection to Mariah Carey as well. Her book is on my mind heavy as I’m reading for you. I feel like you are so used to dysfunctional relationships. You have the tendency to move fast with people. I’m going to hold your hand when I say this, they ain’t going nowhere! Let go of your lovebombing tendencies and show up as your real self. I don’t think you see this as that but it is. You don’t seem to be big on communication. I don’t think you had the best role models for any kind of relationship so you just do what you know. But this does not translate well with other people, which results in chaos. Unpack why you interact with others the way that you do. You too, have a lot of growing up to do, my friend.
Cards Used: Knight of Wands, King of Swords, Queen of Cups (RX), Four of Wands (RX), Ace of Wands (RX), The High Priestess, 8 of Wands, 3 of Cups.
PILE FIVE: “Shut up and dance.” No seriously, shut up and dance. I feel like you are someone that refuses to be seen dancing in public or just in general. There is no need to feel like that. Let go of your shyness, babe. I feel like you actually have good dance moves, you just don’t want to be seen for some reason. Dancing will help you get more comfortable in the spotlight. You have gotten too comfortable in your little bubble. The next time someone asks you to dance, accept the offer (especially if it’s zydeco, salsa or kompa 🙈). You’re never too cute to dance, pookie.
Cards Used: The Hermit, Knight of Discs, The Chariot, 6 of Wands, The Empress, King of Discs (RX).
PILE SIX: Why are you wasting your time arguing with everyone? You need to master the art of preserving your energy. Let go of the need to prove yourself/defend yourself to other people. You exist just like everyone else on this planet but somehow you always end up in a verbal altercation. Is it worth it? I’m sure there’s plenty of alternative options you could choose. Just walking away could do you some good. You are the type of person to catch someone in a lie. Instead of cursing them out, you could just laugh in their face or block them. You could channel this energy into something else. It is normal to experience anger. But just know that you could always get in trouble if you never control it properly. Get a handle on your emotions. Be more logical & cutthroat. I think you definitely could benefit from taking the high road. Your soul is tired. Give it up, babe.
Cards Used: Knight of Swords, Queen of Swords, The Lovers, 8 of Cups, Ace of Swords, The Hermit, Justice, The Moon, The Star.
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dailyadventureprompts · 6 months
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Homebrew Mechanic: Meaningful Research
Being careful about when you deliver information to your party is one of the most difficult challenges a dungeonmaster may face, a balancing act that we constantly have to tweak as it affects the pacing of our campaigns.
That said, unlike a novel or movie or videogame where the writers can carefully mete out exposition at just the right time, we dungeonmasters have to deal with the fact that at any time (though usually not without prompting) our players are going to want answers about what's ACTUALLY going on, and they're going to take steps to find out.
To that end I'm going to offer up a few solutions to a problem I've seen pop up time and time again, where the heroes have gone to all the trouble to get themselves into a great repository of knowledge and end up rolling what seems like endless knowledge checks to find out what they probably already know. This has been largely inspired by my own experience but may have been influenced by watching what felt like several episodes worth of the critical role gang hitting the books and getting nothing in return.
I've got a whole write up on loredumps, and the best way to dripfeed information to the party, but this post is specifically for the point where a party has gained access to a supposed repository of lore and are then left twiddling their thumbs while the dm decides how much of the metaplot they're going to parcel out.
When the party gets to the library you need to ask yourself: Is the information there to be found?
No, I don't want them to know yet: Welcome them into the library and then save everyone some time by saying that after a few days of searching it’s become obvious the answers they seek aren’t here. Most vitally, you then either need to give them a new lead on where the information might be found, or present the development of another plot thread (new or old) so they can jump on something else without losing momentum.
No, I want them to have to work for it:  your players have suddenly given you a free “insert plothook here” opportunity. Send them in whichever direction you like, so long as they have to overcome great challenge to get there. This is technically just kicking the can down the road, but you can use that time to have important plot/character beats happen.
Yes, but I don’t want to give away the whole picture just yet:  The great thing about libraries is that they’re full of books, which are written by people,  who are famously bad at keeping their facts straight. Today we live in a world of objective or at least peer reviewed information but the facts in any texts your party are going to stumble across are going to be distorted by bias. This gives you the chance to give them the awnsers they want mixed in with a bunch of red herrings and misdirections. ( See the section below for ideas)
Yes, they just need to dig for it:  This is the option to pick if you're willing to give your party information upfront while at the same time making it SEEM like they're overcoming the odds . Consider having an encounter, or using my minigame system to represent their efforts at looking for needles in the lithographic haystack. Failure at this system results in one of the previous two options ( mixed information, or the need to go elsewhere), where as success gets them the info dump they so clearly crave.
The Art of obscuring knowledge AKA Plato’s allegory of the cave, but in reverse
One of the handiest tools in learning to deliver the right information at the right time is a sort of “slow release exposition” where you wrap a fragment lore the party vitally needs to know in a coating of irrelevant information,  which forces them to conjecture on possibilities and draw their own conclusions.  Once they have two or more pieces on the same subject they can begin to compare and contrast, forming an understanding that is merely the shadow of the truth but strong enough to operate off of. 
As someone who majored in history let me share some of my favourite ways I’ve had to dig for information, in the hopes that you’ll be able to use it to function your players.
A highly personal record in the relevant information is interpreted through a personal lens to the point where they can only see the information in question 
Important information cameos in the background of an unrelated historical account
The information can only be inferred from dry as hell accounts or census information. Cross reference with accounts of major historical events to get a better picture, but everything we need to know has been flattened into datapoints useful to the bureaucracy and needs to be re-extrapolated.
The original work was lost, and we only have this work alluding to it. Bonus points if the existent work is notably parodying the original, or is an attempt to discredit it.
Part of a larger chain of correspondence, referring to something the writers both experienced first hand and so had no reason to describe in detail. 
The storage medium (scroll, tablet, arcane data crystal) is damaged in some way, leading to only bits of information being known. 
Original witnesses Didn’t have the words to describe the thing or events in question and so used references from their own environment and culture. Alternatively, they had specific words but those have been bastardized by rough translations. 
Tremendously based towards a historical figure/ideology/religion to the point that all facts in the piece are questionable.  Bonus points if its part of a treatise on an observably untrue fact IE the flatness of earth
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writers-potion · 2 months
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do u have any tips for trying to write a bunch of things simultaneously and wanting to make sure they don’t overlap in plots and stuff?
tysm
Writing Multiple WIPs Simultaneously
I'm VERY guilty of working on multiple WIPs at once, oftentimes working on my social media posts at the same time! ><
Here are some tips I picked along the way:
Set Your Goals
Each story must have a clear plot goal: aka, the socko ending.
Write down, as clearly as possible, what the central idea of the stories are. You don't want to get this messed up.
Pick the genre and total word count goal.
Write these down together in a document, and keep refering back to it as you switch between projects.
Simplify Your Plot and Juxtapose
I like to use what I call a "plot table", which looks something like this:
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The table should be 1-1.5 page maximum, and once I have two of these, I put them side to side to see of the overall plot progression, major fantasy names, etc. are overlapping.
If there are significant similarities, like having very similar characters names (which I know will confuse me down the line), I make sure I change them.
Be in Different Worlds/Genres/Story Aesthetics/Fandoms
I think this is one of the most useful tips.
If you have multiple projects, don't have 3 projects in the same genre, same story world and/or same POV, etc.
Try to vary the overall story aesthetic, genre, format, POV, fandom (for fanfics), etc. so that (1) you don't start mixing things and (2) you become more flexible as a writer in the end.
Prioritise One Story
Now, this is IMPORTANT.
Pick a main project you REALLY want to focus on/finish within a certain deadline.
Then, all other projects become "Break Time" where your brain can unload the distracting thoughts you can't include in the main project.
Jump into your other, side projects when you get tired of writing the main one.
Be On Different Stages For Each Project
If you're going to use your side projects as a place for "rest" from your main one, I recommend that you put each project on different stages of writing.
For example, your Main Project may be in Act II. When you get sick of writing the sloggy middle, you don't want to look at your other projects and realize you are stuck in Act II for all of them.
So, try to stagger them. Project 1: Brainstorming Stage + Project 2: Character Profiles + Project 3: Act I, etc.
Be Flexible
Remember that when you have multiple projects, you are bound to make mistakes and start getting confused from time to time.
Don't shy away from actually combining projects or giving up on one when time simply doesn't permit.
If you have prioritized a main project, let the others be a little more volatile! In fact, being flexible is one of the joys of writing <3
If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! 📸
References
https://barrylyga.com/rules-for-writing-multiple-books-at-once/
https://www.wattpad.com/557596820-how-to-write-fanfiction-writing-multiple-stories
https://www.linkedin.com/advice/1/how-do-you-juggle-multiple-stories-skills-storytelling
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lurkingshan · 19 days
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10 Things I Love About Only Boo!
*kicks down the door* I'm a few weeks late but I have arrived and I am here to yell about this fucking adorable show. Have you heard that it's the cutest shit you've ever seen in a fresh new package of all your favorite silly old romance tropes? Besties, this is truly the Sunday Serotonin we need. Here are the top 10 things I love about it:
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The main romance is between a confident sunshine protagonist and a kind older boy working through his grief and an artistic block. Mok (Moo) and Kang are such nice boys, two cinnamon rolls too sweet and pure for this world, and I loved them instantly. They have a nice crackly chemistry between them and really solid communication right from the start.
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The setting is rural and refreshing. Moo moves to Nakhom Pathom to attend school for a semester because his mom wants him to focus on his studies before she will allow him to pursue a career as an idol. Little did she know she was delivering him to a cute boy who would become the new distraction.
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The crushing and flirting starts immediately, and it's mutual. They just like each other, man. Kang is (slightly) older and trying to be responsible about keeping Moo focused on his studies so he's putting up some token resistance, but it's very very token. They both find excuses to keep seeing each other after they meet.
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There's a side couple with a long-term pining friends to lovers arc. The way I squealed when they revealed that photo wall. I support you, Payos, you will get your boo. These two also have a lovely, easy chemistry and seem so comfortable around each other. Their characterization also gets a fun twist in the beginning of the story.
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The writing is strong and assured. This was written by the same screenwriting team as Cooking Crush, aka the best written original Thai bl of last season. These folks know their way around a smart romcom. They know how to deploy classic tropes so they feel fresh, build authentic character arcs, and make all the beats of the story feel confident. We are in good hands and don't need to worry about any out of left field conflicts or weird plot turns with this one.
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A fresh new cast brings a ton of energy. I really love all four of the main actors for this show. They're young and bright and breathing some new life into an old formula. And both pairs have solid chemistry and seem comfortable in their scenes together.
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Some of our old favorites are here too. They've made the smart decision to bolster the young main cast by surrounding them with more experienced seniors like our lady Milk, here playing Kang's friend and neighbor who is all up in his crush on Moo. Louis and Book are also going to show up at some point.
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The show incorporates music and dancing in such a charming way. Moo is one of those kids who just has to dance, and the show mines a lot of comedy around his efforts to stifle the impulse as his mom ordered. I don't think he'll hold out for long, though, because Payos and Tae are on him to train with them. And of course the music supervisor is having a great time working in some classic GMMTV music gags (yes, Love Score and Too Cute To Handle both make memorable appearances).
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It's a high school story brimming with youthful energy without being mired in immaturity. The tone of this show reminds me of My School President in the best way, in that it has all the sweetness and innocence of a high school romance without making the characters so immature and bad at communication that it's annoying to watch. As expected from the CC writers, these characters may be inexperienced but they are going to talk to each other and honesty will prevail every time.
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We are only three episodes in and the romance is already well underway. This is the kind of show where we will see the main pair flirt and date and face obstacles together. The swoony moments started immediately and Moo is already throwing around the faen title. We know from the synopsis that the core conflict will come when Moo is forced to choose between his relationship with Kang and his dream of being an idol, and I expect he will be finding a way around that choice. I'll be strapped in for the ride because I already believe in these two.
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aeithalian · 11 months
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On Apollo and fatal flaws
Vague question for my fellow apollogists out there: what do we think Apollo's fatal flaw is? I write this realizing that, in all five books of the series, all told from Apollo's point of view, we never actually have it explicitly stated, either from Apollo's knowledge and refusal to share (which, strangely, seems to me like something he would tell us), or from him not actually knowing, either.
Simply stated, a fatal flaw is any kind of weakness of a hero, god or mortal, that can be exploited and can cause the downfall of that character. That being said, we already know some that generally scope out the larger range of what they can be:
Percy: excessive personal loyalty
Annabeth: hubris/pride
Nico: holding grudges
Thalia: ambition
Leo: feeling inferior
Piper: low self-esteem
Luke: wrath
Jason: hesitation and excessive deliberation
And we are certain that immortals have flaws like these, too. Although it isn't explicitly stated in canon what Zeus' fatal flaw is, it's exceedingly obvious that it's paranoia and hunger for power, as well as his sexual infidelity.
I feel like we can easily knock some flaws off the list already:
Holding grudges is off the list for the main reason that, if there's one thing Apollo oozes, it's forgiveness, and the fact that he is always ready to give second chances to people who have wronged him and the world (Lityerses, Luguselwa, Meg, etc.)
For the same reason, I'm going to knock off wrath. Yes, he has moments of rage, but so does everybody else! It's human nature, and, as stated before, it's usually overshadowed by Apollo's choice to let go of that anger and choose forgiveness instead.
Ambition is an interesting one, but it's not at all something that really comes up in the series to the point where it ends up being powerful enough to be his fatal flaw. He rarely seeks power he didn't already have before, especially when you consider he is Zeus' most powerful son, and one of the most powerful gods period. Why would he need more power? Unless, of course, you choose to point out that one time he tried to overthrow Zeus, but I'd argue he was acting more out of a place of 'hey please be better at your job' than 'I want your title and position', which actually falls more under Poseidon's motivations in that myth.
Interestingly, there's a certain aspect of Apollo's character in the myths that totally screws the pooch in terms of this discussion, and that's the fact that Apollo, throughout the stories of Ancient Greece, is a typical example of perfection. Literally, he's written to be virtually flawless, the paragon of young men, and (in the context of Ancient Greek culture) doesn't have many moments of rage, selfishness, or paranoia, or at least, not as many as other gods (looking at you, Artemis).
HOWEVER, as much as the myths seemingly act like he doesn't have a glaringly obvious flaw, we as a part of Apollo's inner circle/audience know he's got one - I mean, look at him! It's in there somewhere, nobody's perfect, and I don't think anybody's pretending as such for Apollo. What irks me is that we know Apollo is not lacking in general character flaws, but there is one, beyond a doubt, that shapes his inner core irreversibly. And we don't know it.
Thankfully, though, we've got five books of content that might help us come to a conclusion.
The Hidden Oracle, being the beginning of the story and the beginning of Apollo's character development, is where we would get an inkling of what Apollo wants us to think his fatal flaw is. To us, Apollo appears vain, self-centered, and, frankly annoying. And he does these things on purpose. Or at least, he tells us these things.
That's the thing: if you look past all the fluff Apollo spits out to the audience throughout the first majority of the book, before his children are taken into the forest, you'd find that his dialogue, aka how the other characters of the story hear and see him, doesn't really reflect that. Most of the annoying, self-centered brattiness is only on the page, and not as obvious in his personal interactions (not saying they're not there, but it's so much worse in his internal monologue). So, what does this tell us?
That those aren't his fatal flaws. He's very good at pretending that they are, probably because, as I've read several other metas very cleverly explain, that this is what gods are supposed to be, and, Apollo, in his desperation be his father's golden child again (or, also to avoid his wrath, take that how you will) has built up a very elaborate mask for thousands of years, because that is what he is not. He's trying to be glossed over in the vast sea that is the gods, and it's not really working because, well, he got turned into a mortal. Again.
As we pass through books 2 and 3, we're still not quite past the whole "pretending to be petty and self-serving because this is what I am supposed to be as dictated by the laws of my immortal people and my father". That, almost certainly, doesn't come until the latter half of The Burning Maze. So it's further safe to assume that our best guess as to his fatal flaw probably coincides with his more honest moments with the audience, eg. books 4 and 5.
Now, I know a popular common answer to this whole question is that it's his ego and his pride. But here's the thing: as we move on to the second half of the series, we get an interesting revealing of Apollo's perception of himself. To put it plainly: Apollo is not a narcissist, as much as he pretends to be (see the above points). Honestly, he might actually hate himself and what he's become as he learns to take a more critical view of himself as the series goes on. Drawn in direct antithesis to his moments in the first two books, when he tells us that he assumes that anybody he meets is willing to help him, after the peak of his development (marked by his promise and Jason's subsequent death), this isn't the case. That's why I'm pretty okay with putting pride and ego towards the bottom of my list of possible fatal flaws for him.
Honestly, if I didn't know any better as we reach the end of the series, I'd say Apollo's fatal flaw might fall somewhere closer to poor self-esteem, insecurity and self-doubt, but for some reason, that doesn't quite fit. I'd argue that a lot of those feelings probably stem from being stuck in the inadequate body of a mortal with a tiny fraction of his usual power - of course he's going to feel like that. That, and it's almost the direct opposite of what his flaw is perceived to be by other sources, so it feels like too large a leap to me.
I'm deliberating from my point, which is this: I still have no clue what his fatal flaw is.
It's not:
narcissism
pride
OR on the other side of the spectrum:
low-self esteem
self-doubt
OR the list of things we knocked off earlier:
holding grudges
wrath
ambition
And when you compare to other characters he might also be like, I would argue he's a totally different animal. The only character I could see a similarity with is Percy. But, again, it's just not the same. Percy's flaw, excessive personal loyalty, still doesn't really fit because, while I'd argue that Apollo's never really put in a situation where he's had to choose to save the life a mortal friend over his task of restoring the Oracles, I do believe he has a strong sense of duty. No, I don't think he would sacrifice Meg's life to do that job, but it's not something we see him forced to pick between (that I can think of, at least). I like to think that, on one hand, Percy would flat-out refuse to do his duty to save the life of a friend out of principle, whereas Apollo might find a clever loophole to save the friend, do the duty, and end up doing harm to himself. If anything, while Percy would be ready to burn the world to save a friend, Apollo would be ready to burn himself first.
That, I think, is our biggest indicator. Apollo loves his friends and the world. He wears his heart on his sleeve, this is something the Triumvirate exploits to no end.
Athena tells Percy something in the PJO series (the Titan's Curse, I think?) and says that the most dangerous fatal flaws are the ones that are good in moderation. And, of course, Apollo is a main character, so naturally his fatal flaw will fall under this category.
I think Apollo's fatal flaw is of the same breed as Percy's, but isn't really the same creature. I'm sure there's a more eloquent way to put this, but it seems to me that his fatal flaw has something to do with his tendency to be self-sacrificing, easily forgiving, and empathetic. He's been stabbed in the back several times and every time chooses instead to show trust and camaraderie, to see the best in people, and give them another chance to prove themselves: with Meg, Crest, Lityerses, Luguselwa, Meg's adoptive siblings, and many, many more. That seems very dangerous in the wrong situation, yes? Especially someone in Apollo's position - there are plenty of bad people who would be ready to take advantage of this.
And what is a story if not the hero learning to overcome their fatal flaw? And, really what is the Trials of Apollo all about? How do we end? What choices does Apollo make for the future at the conclusion of the Tower of Nero that directly contradict his overwhelming urge to choose forgiveness and let others try again?
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The Tower of Nero, Chapter 36
At the end of any good epic story, the hero learns to overcome their weaknesses and flaws and do the right thing regardless. For Apollo, this comes when he refuses to forgive one person: Zeus. Apollo ends his pentalogy with coming to an understanding of himself and his relationship with his father, learning to overcome that tendency see the best in everyone, and realize that not everyone can choose to change for the better like Apollo has.
EDIT: a masterlist of my other metas
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makncheese12 · 1 year
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Top Shelf pt. 2
Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
Masterlist
Summary: being the kid of a well-known book store owner was easy, so was running into famous people. But being book smart doesn’t make everyone people smart.
Warning: my writing, I don’t know how to fully play chess so it’s a bit weird haha, very awkward, a little rushed if you come back tomorrow sometime after twelve it should be better
Word count - 3.1k
Credits: @novmoth (my friend from school who feeds into my delusions and gives me more ideas for this story🫶🏻)
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“So,” Lyle starts as you move a piece across the chess board and look up to him then back down at the half played board. “You mean to tell me you ran into Jenna Ortega—“ he says through gritted teeth and puts his hands together and leans his forehead against them.
“—and you didn’t know who she was? She’s known world-wide after her recent show on Netflix!”
Why was he so surprised? He knew your parents situation and how it was critical that your mothers family didn’t find her.
Why would you want to be on social media so much anyway? All the drama involving celebrities and people switching up on them after finding some stuff they don’t like.
Hell people could even find information to black mail or threaten you with, that would just be your luck.
It was better to not get caught up in all of that. All you had was Instagram that had nothing to do with the last name and TikTok with no post that you barely used.
“You know I don’t watch a lot of TV.” You mumble watching him move the white piece taking your black on the board between the two of you. “Dude,” Mj starts looking up from pride and prejudice.
“We all used to watch her on stuck in the middle in sixth grade at Rosa’s place before Marco moved.” She says, clearly uninterested in the conversation yet wanting to be right.
You knit your eye brows together making Lyle stare at you like you were some kind of idiot. “She played Harley, middle child AKA stuck in the middle.” You continue to stare dumb founder.
The large man only groans and Mj scoffs at your lack of knowledge. Dru is then seen, holding a pile of games he wanted to try out.
“The chick with the hot sister who used her for an invention with her boyfriend.” He hums, placing the games next to the computer nearby.
Realization hits you like a brick and you nod, now knowing who they were talking about and the seeing the resemblance.
She both sounded and looked older now, you noted before moving a chess piece.
“If that’s what it takes for you to remember things then we’re all doomed.” Mj states as she pulls her legs up to her chest.
“Okay, when did she come exactly?” Lyle stares at the board, eyes clearly focused but keeping his attention on the conversation.
You think back to the interaction as he makes his move. “A few hours ago, right after lunch when people usually come in.”
“Wonder how she got here without getting noticed.” Mj wonders out loud. This girl must have been a big deal if she can’t get away without being noticed.
“Check,” Lyle hums and your eyes snap back to the board to see him move his piece. You narrow your eyes at the board for a moment and huff out.
You two had decided to create your own set of rules after playing together for so long it had become a bit boring. With his idea, you both made the game a little more interesting and complicated.
“She probably has little disguises, you know to specifically get away from the paps.” Dru mumbles, face inches away from the screen.
You grimace at the sight, now seeing why he needed glasses yet he was still doing it with them on.
“He has a point.” Lyle replies watching you make your move before his smile grows. “Checkmate.” He flaunts making you groan as he snatches your king.
“Your slacking, Y/N, do better.” He shakes his head before putting all the pieces back in place.
His teasing only making you groan again, louder this time making him chuckle.
“You’re making me feel like a sin getting scolding by his father after a bad game.” You mumble before sitting up again and making the first move.
“Good,” he laughs watching you make the same move as before. “You need it.” He says in response.
“Fuck the game, what are you going to do about Jenna Ortega?” Mj speaks up closing her book and slamming it on the table.
Usually, you’d scold her for doing so but it was after hours and no one was inside to bother.
Lyle huffs. “Never say that again, this game is very important.” Mj rolls her eyes in response, everything was important to him.
“What would you have me do? Send her a quick text and ask her to come back?” You laugh at the thought.
It would have to be a miracle to get any celebrities number, it would have to be a god send to get her phone number.
“You’re such a pessimist.” Lyle snorts and you send him a glare. “I would be if a cute celebrity showed up and I never saw her again.” Dru calls out making you huff.
“I will see her again, actually. I think, at least.” Mj perks up at this. “Oh? How so?” She asks, leaning forward on the table.
You send her a glare and lean away. Why was she suddenly acting like a fourth grade friend who finds out about your crush.
“She borrowed the book, so she kind of has to come back.” You grumble scooting your seat farther away from her.
You didn’t really think you’d actually be excited for someone to return for a book. Sure, there were cute people that came in and out of the library all the time. But none had really had any real affect on you like she did.
Though the interaction was short and quick, it was probably one of the most interesting ones you had with a customer.
You’d do anything to see those freckles in person again.
The clicking sound of a phone brings you out of your thoughts as you glance up to Lyle whose holding up his phone.
“Sorry,” he mumbles as he begins angry typing. “You just looked so aesthetic with the chess board, I gotta post it to Insta.”
You roll your eyes before they move to Mj who paces back and fourth.
“Okay, so that would probably be your only chance at actually talking to her.” She says as if she were talking to herself.
“She’s so delusional
“That is if you don’t fuck it up,” she mutters that last part with a as she continues pacing making you point to your face that is clearly unamused.
“But how will you do that? You’re a horrible flirt, that much is true and your humor is as dead as Lyle’s hair.”
“Hey!” He quickly goes to cover his purple hair with his large arms. “There’s no hiding that atrocities.” Mj rolls her eyes, once again for the hundredth time tonight.
“I say you just go for it.” Dru says tapping his computer key quickly and you notice the game to be ‘cookie clicker’, an online game that is not any of the games in his pile.
“Be yourself and you’ll be fine, if she doesn’t like that oh well.” He says inching closer to the screen, glasses almost touching it.
“Wow DD,” Lyle says, looking up from his screen that was suddenly getting lots of notifications. “I never thought you could be so poetic.” He teases and Dru sends him a side eye glare.
“That wasn’t even poetic, just common sense.” He replies, eyes traveling back to his screen.
Lyle sticks his tongue out at the older man who doesn’t even notice.
“I want sushi,” You say standing up watching the abandoned chess pieces fall from their place. “Let’s go get some.”
“Right behind you,” Mj says eagerly as she grabs her book and jacket, Lyle not too far behind her.
“Wait, give me a second!” Dru calls but you just laugh and continue your way to the door.
“Wait! I want sushi too! Stop!” He calls out louder as Lyle holds the door open. “Just abandon mission dude! Sushi is way better.” Lyle says as you begin walking down the street, Dru coming out not long after making sure to lock the door.
————
You carefully pull books out of the return section as the beat of your music rings through your ears making you bop your head lightly.
You glance over to Lyle who sat in the desk chair, playing Call Of Duty mobile on his phone. You wouldn’t usually be allowed to do that but it was a particularly slow day.
It had been two weeks since Jenna had last came to the library and to say you were disappointed was an understatement.
You knew it could be months before she would have to return the book and you would have to charge her for it if she really didn’t and that is what you didn’t want to do.
Mj made sure you didn’t forget either, sending you cheesy pick-up lines and ‘how to flirt’ website which only aggravated you and hurt your ego.
You did look at a few though and had to admit some were actually good while others made you skin crawl.
You don’t notice the sound of the bell ringing or the way Lyle quirks up slightly glancing toward you
Jenna looks up to him as her body guards walk to a side table in front of the window allowing her a little freedom to walk after seeing there weren’t many people.
He makes his lips into kissy form and a small ‘ooh’ leaves before turning to you, back turned as you sort through the books.
He looks back to Jenna who is now standing at the front desk contemplating to help her or not.
He decides against it but doesn’t want to leave the celebrity waiting. He stands up and quickly grabs the closest thing to the back room door before putting his finger to his lips.
“Shh..” He says, eying her as a playful threat before chucking the item at you and rushing through the door.
The thing hits your head and you whip around, barely missing Lyle as your eyes land on Jenna who held her books, glancing between the storage room and you.
“Did you..” you say, pulling your headphones out and picking up a mouse key that had been ripped off from the cord. “Did you just throw a mouse key at me?” You ask with playful tone as you walk toward her.
Jenna thinks back to Lyle’s silence threat before speaking. “You weren’t paying attention, it’s bad customer service.” She just shrugs.
“Oh, my bad.” You say putting your hands up in defense and her smile grows. “I’m sorry I was doing my job,.” You say shaking your head before playing glaring at her.
Be confident, all girls like that!
Mj’s words ring through your head making you cringe slightly.
Not too confident, that’ll get you punched.
Dru had stated after and your lips pull up at the memory of Dru getting punched at the skating rink during you tenth grade year.
You think of all the pick-up lines that actually seemed subtle and weren’t cringe worthy but decided against it as she pushes the books toward you.
“So, what’d you think?” You ask taking them and scanning the under the red light and pressing the ‘return’ button on the computer screen.
“I actually enjoyed between shades of gray surprisingly even though it was pretty dark,” she says shyly and you nod. “But the other wasn’t really good.”
“Just shows I have better taste than you.” You tease lightly, attempting to flirt but realizing it wasn’t actually flirting.
You were starting to realize how bad of a glitter you really were and Mj was right.
You feel your phone buzz go off multiple times at a time as Lyle comes out of the storage closet with a box full of old tapes you had just put back in there a little while ago.
He takes his seat and watches through the corner of his eye, looking through the black blocks clearly acting like he was doing something as he ease-dropped.
You roll your eyes before leaning against the counter, rolling your thumbs around each other, becoming nervous by the sudden pressure of his gaze.
“Does he always stare at you like that?” She suddenly asks, amusement clear in her voice making you snort.
“Unfortunately yes,” you say and his head yanks toward you, fake offense taking over his features. “He’s always been weird but I guess that’s what makes us friends.”
He forms a heart with his hands before blowing you a kiss making you grimace at the large man.
“So,” you say looking back up to her, noticing her biting the inside of her lip slightly before looking back to you. “Looking for anything else or should I just get back to work?” You ask, smirking slightly as you look up toward her.
You hear a quiet snort come from Lyle and send him a mental glare in the process. Oh how you wished it was Dru here instead, hell even Mj would do.
“Actually, yes.” She says, perking up slightly at your mention. “I was hoping to get another suggestion from you, since you know.” She finishes making you raise an eye brow and hum to yourself.
You think through the hundreds of books you’ve read before coming to your conclusion and standing up straight.
“I have one,” you say and she nods. “I figured.” She replies as you pass through the low door and around the counter.
“It’s sort of the same as Between Shades of Gray, same time frame.” You say walking toward the historical section. “I will need to help get it though,” you snort to yourself, feeling glare in the back of your head.
“I’m actually six foot two if you remember correctly, it’s just the angle your looking at that makes me look shorter.” She argues and your smile grows.
“I’m sorry, I completely forgot I hope I haven’t offended you too deeply.” You tell her, bowing slightly as she passes you walking into the aisle with her head high.
“But in all seriousness,” you say scanning over the the spines of the books. “What made you think the name ‘Top Shelf’ wouldn’t be quite literally the top shelf.” You reach out and grab the book ‘The Book Thief’ before turning to her.
“I thought it was like a metaphor or something.” she mumbles taking the book from your hands, reading the cover.
“Oh definitely, especially with the owners being tall themselves.” You say, laughing at her glare at you through her eye lashes.
She rolls her eyes before moving past you and toward the front desk.
You follow after her quickly and go behind the desk again before pushing past Lyle who was messing with the computer.
“Excuse you,” he stares at you wide eyed as you click back to the search bar. “Your fault you were in my way.” You mumble only giving him a glance.
“Name?” You asks glancing toward and you can almost feel the glare Lyle gives you.
“You’re joking?” She asks, clearly unamused. “It’s policy.” You send her another playful smile watching huff out.
“Jenna Ortega.” She says before Lyle pinches your side making you jump slightly. “Stop that,” you whisper before kicking your leg back at him, you miss completely.
“Burrowing or buying?” You ask and she again, rolls her eyes. “Burrowing.”
You feel Lyle pinch your other side and you send him a glare, clearly wanting him out of your bubble and away from your conversation. “You’re so annoying.” You say before watching him stick his tongue and move back to his seat.
You look back toward Jenna who was, once again, chewing her lip.
You take her credit card and swipe it quickly, using your hand to keep him a safe distance away from you.
“Anything else?” You ask, glancing up to the girl who is already staring at you.
“Actually,” she mumbles quietly as Lyle pinches your arm pit making you elbow his chest and he lets out a hard huff.
“You seem pretty cool and I was wondering..” she hesitates for a moment, trying her best to maintain eye contact which makes Lyle stop, chest against your back.
She continues you hesitate as you bag the book and slide it toward, you fidgeted slightly as anxiety creeps up to your core.
“If I could have your number? Or maybe I could give you mine?..” there’s a sort of shyness in her voice and she begins to bite the inside of her lip again.
You stare at her dumb founded a second, not fully expecting that.
But then again it was very obvious it was coming from the first part of her sentence, that was clear especially to Lyle who glances between you two.
The two wait for your response that seems to never come which makes Lyle’s eye twitch and Jenna to shift on her feet.
“You can say no, of course I just thought I’d ask.” She says, voice even quieter which makes Lyle decided to take matters into his own hands.
He snatches the phone from your pocket and sends you a small knowing smirk before turning to the girl. “Excuse her, she’s not used to these kind of interactions.” He says unlocking you phone and opening your contacts and going to the number screen.
“She is, after all, a librarians daughter. She just has no game what’s so ever.” He shakes his head and clicks his mouth. You quickly snap out of your dazed state to glare toward him.
“Yeah, sorry but I’d actually love that.” You say before watching her smile grow and all the nervousness leave her body as she begins to type.
“Cool,” she says before handing you your phone back. “Very cool.” Lyle states as he nods and gives you a knowing look.
“Text me,” she says before picking up her bag and walking toward the door. “I mean it!” You watch her stern look as her body guards stand and open the door for her with a goofy smile on your face.
“I will!” You call out as the door shuts behind her.
“Holy shit,” Lyle mutters watching her walk down the street. “Holy shit.” You repeat, still a little shocked by the whole situation.
“Jenna Ortega thinks my best friend is cool and gave her her number.” He says pulling out his phone and typing quickly before you feel a buzz in come from the phone in your hand.
You open the text messages in the group chat and see a series of text between Lyle, Mj and Dru. They had to have been spamming the entire time.
You read over the last text and snort.
My best friend is cooler than you, you also owe me twenty bucks <3
Read next part here!
A/N: Lyle being R’s wingman is in fact canon🫶🏻
Also, while you’re here why don’t you request something for different characters. I have some drafts for other things I’m working on but I would let to create some you guys ideas!
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reel-fear · 2 months
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Bendy And The Power Of Representation
So those graphic novel pages huh? Seems I posted my cover post at just the right time because literally minutes after I was informed the preview pages came out and uh. This is Buddy and Norman!
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Oh dear... I'll put the full graphic novel pages down below but I have so much to say on how awful this is it'll need several posts. However, right now I want to mostly talk about representation and briefly touch on why it's so damn important + inform others about the current shit Mike and Meatly are saying about the books n such.
Now note: All the things I'm saying below are based on my personal experience, maybe some people don't care about seeing the representation of their identities in the media they consume. Maybe some will think I'm merely being dramatic and I might be but I'm not lying when I say I personally believe being represented and seen in the media you consume can be one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.
Look I'm not here to argue with people who think that Norman in particular was never meant to be a person of color, I would argue he is very coded but the points I'm making here are not about how Norman particularly had to be black. The point I want to make is the lack of diversity in our cast in general and how Norman's design has heavily dwindled it considering most people [including myself] rightfully assumed he was at least one of three black characters in our cast. Not according to this though and looking at the the rest of the pages our chances of seeing any kind of decent diverse character designs dwindle more.
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So firstly... Buddy a character who has been said to experience discrimination for being Jewish, lacks any kind of ethnic features at all. That's... Cool but yeah I think this shows a rather grim future for the character designs as a whole.
Also, Norman... As I mentioned he was largely assumed to be black due to his southern dialect, his voice, and other factors. But nope, he's a generic white guy. With... Gross looking hair tbh...
Sadly this is not the first time the topic of poor representation has come up concerning Bendy either.
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[note how he disregarded the other mentioned minorities and specifically cites LGBTQ+ characters]
This sucks as a response but sadly considering Mike's recent behavior it seems to fall in line with the Bendy team's general lack of care towards representing anyone who isn't straight and white.
So how did Mike respond to all of this? Well...
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TDLR - "Who cares if the Graphic Novel we're selling to our fans for full price sucks, we now no longer consider the books canon."
This is horrible, I know Mike and Meatly are only really in this for the money, the fact BATIM is in the state that it is proved that, but they really couldn't have been less obvious about it?
So basically when it benefited them, AKA when it meant people would have to buy the books to understand important lore like Boris' identity... [the character you spend all of chapter 4 trying to rescue] They were considered canon... At least the author sure thought so.
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Hell even in the tweet Meatly made here he doesn't say the books aren't canon, he just says they're not needed to understand Bendy's world. Now Mike is using that as a shield instead of doing the right thing and saying "You're right, the poc in our fanbase deserve better we'll have it fixed right away!" Like most reasonable people would considering how his studio has literally been accused of bigotry, poor rep, and general lack of diversity before. Why risk making more people avoid this franchise?
Also just... Imagine how insulting it would be to be an author who helps flesh out so much of this world and gives its characters depth like NONE of the games have managed to do, filling in plot holes, creating a timeline for events, etc... Then because they couldn't bother to change the graphic novel for ur story to be better they instead throw out all ur writing and declare it non-canon.
If I were her to put it bluntly I'd feel insulted and horrible. Why make her do all the work of making sure her works align with the timeline and game's canon if they're not part of it?
I can't speak for her obviously but Meatly and Mike know of her account, so speaking out against this could very much risk her being fired or at least not allowed to work on Bendy anymore... So I would take all her tweets on this situation with a grain of salt. She very much is not in a position where she could be honest if she was against this.
So with all that history now, the question I'm sure many are wondering is... Why does this even matter? Who cares how diverse the characters are when it doesn't affect the story?
Well for one thing, if you think like that consider having more empathy for your fellow human beings but also it does affect the story. One of DCTL's themes is about the bigotry of the period it is set in.
Now the Bendy team has managed to make the discussion of this book centering around their bigotry which is ironic in a way I almost find funny... Though this entire thing is just a bit too hurtful and upsetting to find any humor in, at least for me...
But another thing is representation can bring people such joy when it's done with care. It really shouldn't be understated how far it can go to make people feel more comfortable in their own sense of self to have a franchise choose to represent them and their experiences. I know this from personal experience.
Now if you've been following me for a while, you know I'm a big fan of Transformers. I no longer engage with it much due to baggage from the fandom's awful treatment of me, but before I left I remember being able to witness the release of Transformers: Earthspark first few episodes.
These introduced the Maltos the family who meets the Transformers and serve as our protagonists and guess what?
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It's a family of Filipinos!
Now look I'm not Filipino, but I am half Mexican and I have a lot of love for that part of me. So seeing the representation of any Spanish culture in this franchise I loved made me so happy! I remember just watching the first episode I was happily telling my partner how fun it was to see people like me and my family in a world I love!!
But it didn't end with the Maltos in fact... There was another character who spoke to me, their name was Nightshade. Their pronouns are They/Them and they spoke about it on the show! Not just mentioning it and moving on but actually sitting down to speak about their experiences...
This clip in particular really turned them into an absolute favorite among fans and well... I'll let you see it for yourself.
This scene... Fills me with a joy I cannot describe. It is the creators of a franchise I love telling me they see people like me and find the stories of people like me important enough to include in this series. There really is nothing like being able to say there are Non-Binary characters in a franchise I have so much love for. I was far from the only one too.
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This is amazing, this is wonderful, this clip and character were moving to so so many people and...
This is a joy the Bendy creators have no interest in giving their audience. They don't care how you feel as a queer and/or black person, which... Hurts...
I... Discovered I was trans while in the Bendy community... It was where I learned the word Non-Binary and started using it for myself. To me Bendy will always have that connection... But the devs themselves seem to hate the idea of being forced to actually represent that in their games... And I still haven't really gotten over that pain or betrayal if I'm being honest.
So...
With Norman now being portrayed as white here, we are down to two black characters. Thomas [who Meatly has claimed is white in the past] based on a vague conversation with Sammy in DCTL they could easily ignore... And Jacob.... A book exclusive character which according to Mike means he is non-canon.
If we don't count Thomas' vague talk with Sammy about disrespect as confirmation he's black [which the devs don't seem to think so] then we have one black character in all of Bendy... And he recently got retconned into non-existence. Great.
Look... The Bendy fanbase has always been full of wonderfully diverse designs for the staff and even more diverse people creating them. Bendy's fandom was built with the work of queer people from all kinds of places.
If the Bendy team continues to show how little they care for anyone who isn't straight or white... I wonder who they are counting on to buy this book or in general financially support their franchise?
I know right now, I am furious, I am hurt and I most certainly don't feel like buying a book that's currently just a massive fuck you to the fans and I hope I've expressed why I feel this way in an easy-to-understand way here...
Either way, I will not be forgetting this anytime soon and I hope the fanbase does the same. Maybe just maybe, if there's enough backlash to this series of horrible decisions they'll learn better.
Right now, it's kinda of our only hope for a better future, and if you know any poc who are into Bendy right now... Maybe consider making sure they're feeling okay.
I know from experience how much this sort of thing hurts, to have the creators of a world you love straight up tell you they don't intend to fix the fact no one in their stories represents your identity or life...
What I'm trying to say is...
This is a really low point for Bendy and its fans... Even more for the poc who have to witness such ignorant and careless attitudes from Mike and Meatly towards their feelings.
Please don't forget them when you discuss these tweets or this situation. That's exactly what Mike and Meatly want right now.
For them to be unrepresented and therefore... Unheard.
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luvistqrzzz · 7 months
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TRIVIA : LOVE — enhypen hyung line oneshot series
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Finding love is not easy they say but what happens when you fall for someone at the most unexpected time in an unexpected way? — whisper a small oops and continue to fall further into the loophole of love.
aka the chronicles of a hopeless romantic soul
PAIRING && GENRE — hyung line x f!reader, can be read as stand alone oneshots, crack, ansgt, fluff, happy ending, more tba in individual fics
TAGLIST — open send an ask or comment to be added (you will be tagged for all the 4 fics) — @flwrshee @aosbie @rsmura @enhastolemyheart @yannew @sophiko22 @www-jungwon @nwjws @in-somnias-world @zzinyl @mrchweeee @ghostiiess @ilovecheese09
PERMANENT TAGLIST — @rikizm @str0l0gy @yenqa @heetoldme @crxzs @s00buwu @nhularin @bunreis @hysgf @mochamvgz @myonos — will be added in all parts
STATUS — to be released !!
AN — TYSM FLO @dollikis FOR THE MAIN BANNER ISTG SHE'S SUCH A GENIUS 🫶🏼🥹 I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF IT ILYSM FLO my banners for the rest of the fic look like shit 😻🤞🏼 i feel the general summary is so cringe ( if someone comes up w a better one then pls help 😭) ALSO the fics in the series are based on rom com books tbh ive been planning and editing the masterlist for the past two weeks ahaha so idk how to feel about it... technically im still on my writing hiatus but ill try to start working on the fics after exams,,, hope yall look forward to it hehe ^_^ !!
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"It was like I was trying to memorize him — in case this was the last time I would ever see him." — (failed) STEPS TO NOT MISS YOUR EX
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There were a lot of ways your sister's wedding could have gone wrong but none of them included you crossing paths with your ex who happened to be the assistant wedding planner.  Alternatively, where you were apparently "over" Lee Heeseung but an (almost) disastrous wedding made you think otherwise.
a luvistqrzzz rendition of save the date by morgan matson — [ read here ]
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“Here's the thing about writing Happily Ever Afters: it helps if you believe in them.” — LETTERS TO YOU, ME AND THE BEACH
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When a crippling writer’s block and an almost broke bank account forces you to move to an old family home, you didn’t expect to cross paths with your arch nemesis from high school, the ever obnoxious, Park Jay. But maybe the series of events that unfold during the summer could help you with a romantic book or two.
a luvistqrzzz rendition of beach read by emily henry — [ read here ]
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“Note to self: Do not under any circumstances fall in love again.” — A 1000 WAYS BACK TO YOU
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When Jake realizes he doesn't want to be (only) friends with you anymore, you are already moving halfway around the world and he's left alone on the other side of the line. Will it take two oblivious idiots 10 years and more than a hundred missed chances to see the feelings they've been hiding for long?
a luvistqrzzz rendition of where rainbows end by cecelia ahern — [ read here ]
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"Well sure, who doesn't need a boyfriend? But realistically, those exotic creatures are hard to come by. At least a quality one.” — A STRANGER'S GUIDE TO LOVE AND CHRISTMAS
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For Sunghoon, Christmas is like any other day, only a hundred times more crowded. But then he stumbles across a notebook at the local bookstore. A notebook full of... dares. As he and the anonymous author spend the entire Christmas eve swapping stories and dreams around the city of Seoul, where will it lead Sunghoon to?
a luvistqrzzz rendition of dash and lily's book of dares by rachel cohn and david levithan — [ read here ]
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works belongs to @luvistqrzzz do not copy repost or translate my work
reblogs and feedback are heavily appreciated
networks- @hyfenet @enhanet @en-web @k-films
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cedarxwing · 26 days
Text
The ending of Hannibal the novel explained
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(aka the breastfeeding scene)
Here's the passage (end of Chapter 101):
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I thought everyone was kidding about the breastfeeding kink jokes until my partner read Hannibal and the whole ending flew over their head. Their main takeaway was "that was weird." When I checked reddit, it seemed everyone was confused there too. I was gobsmacked to see one guy say that Thomas Harris was playing some cruel joke on the reader by writing an ending that didn't make sense!
How many people are reading Hannibal like this, completely missing the resolution to Hannibal's character arc? They must finish the book confused about what it was all about in the first place. So here's how I understand it!
First, I need to get this out of the way: a lot of people hate this scene, and from what I understand it's because they're weirded out by the "breastfeeding kink." Which is fine, but it makes me want to gently hold them by the hand and tell them that it's ok for someone to suck on a nipple. It happens all the time. Sometimes it just feels good, sometimes it's part of a breastfeeding fantasy, and sometimes it's literal breastfeeding. Between consenting adults, this is all fine and normal. Let's all move past this knee-jerk repulsion (or alternatively, sit in our discomfort and expand our horizons) so we can analyze this piece of art together. :)
Next, authors LOVE Freudian psychoanalysis. Even though it's all nonsense, it's full of literary allusion and makes for compelling narratives and character studies (childhood maladjustment, repressed memories, etc), which is basically catnip for a writer. Thomas Harris was no exception, and probably creamed himself (as I did) when he learned that Freud's oral-sadistic stage was also termed the "cannibalistic stage," referring to the time when an infant is growing teeth and begins to bite at the breast--the psychosexual urge to devour and destroy the thing you love. What could be more appropriate for Hannibal?
Next, consider the pattern of Hannibal's Il Mostro murders. He killed young couples in one of the most romantic cities in the world, then arranged them as Chloris and Zephyr from Botticelli's Primavera, exposing Chloris's left breast just like in the painting. In classical art, an exposed breast is often a symbol of fertility. Chloris is associated with spring, new growth, and transformation.
Perhaps, at the time, Hannibal rationalized these murders as retribution for rude behavior. Maybe the couples were performing disgusting PDA. Maybe they were obnoxious tourists on their honeymoons. Either way, it's clear to the reader that Hannibal has some deep-seated hang up about sex and romance.
The particulars of this hang up are open to interpretation, but based on Hannibal's obsession with the rape and transformation of Chloris as well as his embarrassment at the paintings of Leda and the Swan in the German's house, I think it's safe to say that Hannibal feels like any relationship he has with a woman who isn't aware of his true (monstrous) identity would involve a degree of violence/lack of consent. He is forever barred from normal romance.
Having given up on sex/romance, Hannibal is unable to consciously recognize his desire for Clarice, so he sublimates it into a more general familial love. He longs for a return to innocence, to return to the time before he ate Mischa and became an unlovable monster (cue the teacup metaphor).
But even familial love seems like too much to hope for, so he sublimates it further into something that seems more attainable: resurrecting the person whom he loved and devoured, and who loved him in turn (Mischa) through Clarice.
So we have the breast as a symbol of sex/fertility (Chloris/Clarice), as an object that is loved and devoured (Mischa), and as a literal source of sustenance that must be given up during infancy (mommy).
Big brain Clarice connects all these dots and, in the very same style of therapy that Hannibal has been using on her, distills Hannibal's psychological problems into a single poetic gesture that completely fixes Hannibal in an instant, proving that she's not only his intellectual equal, but is, in some ways, his superior.
When Clarice asks, "Did you ever feel that you had to relinquish the breast to Mischa? Did you ever feel you were required to give it up for her?", she's ostensibly asking Hannibal if he's stuck in the oral stage of childhood development (which yeah he probably is). On a deeper level, she's asking Hannibal to consider if he's given up on love.
When Clarice exposes her breast in the same fashion as Chloris, says, "You don’t have to give up this one", and suspends the drop of wine from her nipple, she is shifting his perception of her breast from familial devoured sustenance to a sexual object. Basically, "Why do you want me to pretend I'm your sister when we could be banging?" Hannibal is being aged out of his childlike mindset, not regressing into one.
There are other layers of meaning in this act. The hedonism of using thousand dollar wine for food play is a sign of Clarice's character development. The way Hannibal kneels before Clarice is a position of subservience, but could also be interpreted as devouring Clarice in a way that's new to him. It's the most self-actualized thing Hannibal has done since escaping prison (LOL) and marks the end of his hero's journey (as one of the first things we see him do in Hannibal Rising is nurse).
Personally, I don't read this scene as breastfeeding kink. Yeah, Clarice talks about breastfeeding, but that was more a metaphor for other stuff. Considering the direction of Hannibal's character arc, I understand this scene as him briefly licking the wine off before they have sex. But to each their own! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ANYWAY, yeah, it's unsettling. It's obviously meant to be. But it's beautifully unsettling! Hate it all you want, but this is peak cannibal romance, to me!!
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astronicht · 1 month
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Replying to a comment on this ask reply about evil in the North in LOTR (but it was too long to actually put in a comment ,)
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@warrioreowynofrohan I'm so glad evil is in the north in The Silmarillion!! I have also been promised that the story of the creation of the world is also in there, since Frodo fell asleep during Tom Bombadil’s early medieval cosmology lesson. I really, really want to know what happens in Elf Creation, because Tolkien did not write a book about it academically but CLEARLY had at least a few opinions about early medieval ideas of where the world came from, which he possibly just put in Middle Earth, if he had them fleshed out enough. This makes me nuts bc CS Lewis, meanwhile, wrote a whole-ass book called The Discarded Image about his idea* of the medieval vision of the cosmos (like where is outer space, where are the planets, where’s heaven, etc, including How It All Got Made) and also per the word of a thesis supervisor back in the day who was super into this stuff, worked symbolism of the planets in the medieval cosmos into one of his fictional works.
*bc the rest is under cut: if you want a more accurate read for medieval and Renaissance cosmology, the textbook is Planets, Stars, and Orbs by Edward Grant. I would not recommend TDI for historical accuracy
Lewis brushes over early medieval ideas only briefly (early medieval anything is actually not usually included in medieval academia on a theme; it’s sort of a weird zone from ca. 600-1100 AD, and Grant doesn't cover it either). But while the book is interesting on some points, it's pretty misleading, and CS Lewis's one solid error was presenting all of medieval cosmology as a Single Idea, which it also very much was not. People did not magically stop arguing about how the world got made and what it looked like for one thousand years, and modern scholarship has looked at that. But he was reading all the same texts as Tolkien, and this weird oversight that has bothered me for years, and for YEARS i have been wondering if Tolkien thought something else. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t! WHY did he put the seven stars (the five visible planets plus the sun and moon) on Aragorn’s sword PLUS the sun and moon, throwing off the count entirely?? Maybe he did not actually give a shit). I look forward to finding out, and probably suffering for it.
RE: Gollum! Your actual question! Honestly at the moment (aka at the end of Fellowship), Gollum seems like such a thoroughly Grendel figure that I almost get worried I’m being lured into a 1:1 comparison, when Tolkien seems to enjoy making a bunch of different references within each character. Strider is King Arthur, Strider is that guy in that saga nicknamed Strider, Strider is another guy with a sword situation in another saga(??) (I have not read enough Norse sagas). Gollum, though, is associated with the underground and with water; he has his dark low pool; Grendel lives in a low dark pool (with his mum). Even being cast out by a matriarch maaaaybe suggests something of Grendel’s Mother, who is just as much a main character, or perhaps more so; she’s the final boss of the Grendel bit of Beowulf, after all. So in conclusion: yeah I see your point! I'd be curious to figure out what else is being folded in. However, assuming the Grendel similarities are on purpose, congrats to Tolkien for the only good Beowulf adaptation ever.
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justakixa · 3 months
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Dearie || lookism
The story is about Y/N, a mysterious girl in the Lookism world where she doesn't belong. With her average height and charming or adorable face, she seems fragile-looking, but once you know her dark side, you will see a manipulative and dangerous lady, yet her appearance makes everyone want to protect her in their cruel world. Will she team up with Daniel to take down the four major crews and Charles Choi? Or does she team up with the enemy side along with other geniuses? Will she finally go back to her real world? Let's find out in the next Dragon Ball Z! Enjoy!
(Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/361532555?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=justakixa)
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CHAPTER 1 ˚୨୧⋆.
౨ৎ ˖ ࣪ ⊹Part 1
The girl on the bed let out a groan as she lazily reached for her phone to silence the sudden ringing of the alarm. She sits up on her bed and glances to the side, spotting a tall mirror reflecting her messy bedhead. 
"ugh, what a mess..." She muttered to herself as she let out a long sigh, ever since she got into the lookism world around 1 week ago and now she was stuck there for now. 
When she found herself in that unfamiliar place, she awoke in a room filled with furniture, clothes that suited her, a key house, and even her birth certificate. Questioning her sanity, she pinched herself to no avail before exploring the house, which was charming in every way. In the living room, she discovered an ID from J-high with her face on it. It appeared that she had been randomly taken, placed in a house, and enrolled in a school that was completely foreign to her. However, it was becoming clear that she was not in her world, especially after she researched J-high and her old address, finding no trace of them on any maps. Till she realised She was in her friend's favourite webtoon "Lookism".
She finally gets up and starts heading to the bathroom to take a shower, after that, she wears the uniform and combs her hair as she lets it free then ties it to buns. She then heads her way downstairs, grabs her backpack, phone, key house, and lastly she goes near the door and wears her shoes before going out of the house and locking the house.
While later she finally arrived at a gate at J-high School, she guessed this would be the start of a new life. Once she steps inside, all the eyes are on her making her feel nervous and awkwardly walks away from the stares as she finally arrives in front of the principal office. She knocks twice on the door as someone shouts to come in.
A few minutes later, she got out and started heading to the fashion department room in the other hall. When she arrives at her class, she braces herself and takes a deep breath before she enters the classroom and suddenly stares at her again.
"oh! I forgot to announce that we will have new students today. So, Kindly introduce yourself dear." The teacher looks at me and gives me a gentle smile.
"Hello, I'm Y/N and im 18 years old. My hobby is drawing and please don't ask me to draw you for free. That's all." She stutters a bit but she did great anyway. After that, the teacher signed her to sit next to the blond boy covering his both eyes. Can he even see anything underneath those hairs?
She smiles at him before turning away and grabbing a book to write down notes, while the blonde guy keeps staring at her and seems to fantasise about her in his mind as he smiles back a little bit making his ears turn red. As she keeps writing something in her book, the blond keeps watching her till the three classes are finally over and break time starts any second.
Upon her arrival in the cafeteria, everyone looked at the new student aka her but she didn't notice the new guy behind her making everyone gasp for a second and think they may be a couple? or Model? or Idols? She turned around to meet somebody's chest as she looked up and saw a handsome man who also looking at her. 
"Hi! You're Y/N, right? Im Daniel Park, am also new here and same department as yours." He smiles widely at her while. Right beside him, it was the blonde boy again, he kept looking at her as if he wanted to devour her or something.
"He mentioned that his name is Jay Hong." He gestured towards him.
"Is he mute?" She thought.
Daniel and Jay keep smiling down at her. She tilted her head looking at them before turning around and walking away to get snacks in the vending machine. Before she put the coin in, someone raced into it she looked to her side and saw Daniel with Jay leaning on the vending machine other side.
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She feels nervous because of those two who keep getting closer to her. She hurries to click the options button and takes a leave with the strawberry pocky in her hand.
While strolling down the hallway and munching on her pocky, she ponders why Daniel and Jay are behaving so differently in this world compared to the webtoon. Did something trigger this world? Will others also act out of character? Lost in thought, she accidentally bumps into someone, causing her pocky to snap in half. As she looks up, she is met by a man with tattoos and a jumpsuit tied around his waist. His chest feels as solid as bricks - why does it seem like she ran into a wall?
As she observes the man in front of her, she can't help but think that he might be a bully due to his appearance, especially the tattoos on his hands. She regrets not reading about Lookism with her friend, but she was too busy with school. Now, as the man walks towards her and stops right in front of her, she begins to tremble on the floor with fear.
What will happen to her next? Will he hit her since she bumped into him? Is he a bad guy? She prays silently till the man starts to reach his hand to her.
In just a blink of her eyes, she's in the clinic room. Just a second ago, she was in the hallway sitting on the ground with a man standing in front of her, and suddenly he carried her in the bridal way and ran. Then a nurse came up to me and checked if my knee got bruised or something while the guy was looking down on the floor, looking all guilty like a sad giant dog... A big-ear guy suddenly came to his side and comforted him and said she was fine; in reality, she was fine since the fall didn't cause her to hurt her knee or get sprained. The only one that got her hurt was her pocky, which broke in half and was left in the hallway.
A while later, a nurse told those two that she was alright and as they kept talking, she decided to check the phone that she was bringing since it wasn't hers in the first place. She opened the phone and saw the lock screen looked normal as she swiped it up and had a password in it.
"Eh, it has a password? how am I gonna open this?" she whispered to herself before she quickly hid it in her jacket uniform pocket as the two guys finally approached her. The guy with big ears tries to push the big tattoo guy toward me and keeps telling him to apologize to her for bumping over me.
"Hey, he would like to apologize to you for bumping you and carrying you without your consent." The big ears guy smiles at me as he points to the tattoo guy.
"My name is Jace Park and his name is Euntae Lee but call him Vasco instead. We're members of Burn Knuckles while he is a Leader."
"Well, that's ok but may I ask a question?" she tilts her head as she looks at Jace.
"What is it?" He looks down at her and starts to examine her body head to toe as he snaps out his thoughts.
"Are you guys a bad guy? you two look like you can kill a fly..." She asks both of them.
Jace let out a chuckling sound as he pointed to Vasco again "Believe it or not he may look like a bad guy but he's a big softie."
" And I wouldn't dare to hurt someone as precious as you little lady," Vasco said with a tint of blush on his chick.
"Little?!" She thought. She feels offended since her height isn't that small compared to theirs. Is she? Last time in her world she was 5'6 but this time she shrunk.
"Also, are you new here somehow? Your face is unfamiliar around this school." Jace turned to ask her as she nodded and decided to stand up and dust her skirt.
Later they start to head out of the clinic room and part their ways in each department. She pulled out the phone again and decided to guess the password of the lock screen. She put her birthday code, 1234, password, and everything she thought of but sadly for her everything was incorrect. As she arrives at her classroom she feels the intense atmosphere, she looks up from her phone and sees in the middle is Daniel and the random guy. Slowly walked around and sat on her chair while others were getting crowded around Daniel and that guy and cheering loudly.
She overheard the guy's name was Zack and a Boxer. She couldn't bear to look at the fight so she returned to the phone and guessed another password while everyone kept making a crowd with outsiders too. Then suddenly she heard someone get punched, she took a sneak glance and saw Zack guy was on the floor clutching to his stomach. She felt bad for him but she didn't know what had happened before she arrived so she went back to the phone and she noticed the girl with brown had left the room.
Everyone lowers their eyes and avoids Zack who is still clutching his stomach as he tries to get up from the floor, she lets out a soft sigh and puts the phone in her pocket once again. She walks to Zack and then crouches down to him as she pokes his shoulder.
"Do you need help?" She asked him as she held him up on her shoulder before Zack answered her. But when she asks him if he needs help, he looks up at her and everything goes in slow motion around him till flowers bloom behind her. A goddess. While he was daydreaming, she dragged him out of the room but before that, Daniel came up to her and helped her hold Zack to the clinic, little did she know Daniel was glaring at Zack when he noticed Zack was staring at her and getting held by her.
When they arrived, they laid him down on the bed and she told Daniel to stay there with him as she went to catch up with the nurse. When she said that Zack snapped out of his daydreaming and shook his head as he muttered that he had Mira for him, then she walked out of the clinic leaving the two alone inside and walking through the hallway. She was not going to call the nurse since she saw the letter on the desk that the nurse would come back any minute. She walked around the hall and checked her surroundings. Everyone seemed busy minding their business so she went to the library, pulled out the phone once again and tried one more password.
Finally, she successfully guessed the password of the lock screen. It was the exact day when she arrived. Lowkey is suspicious and feels it was set up just for her. Her expression drops when she notices the wallpaper on the phone. Unfamiliar man and a woman that looks like her...
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Is that even her? She can't even remember anything about that guy, mostly she just woke up last week ago in a random house and felt like an amnesia person. Yet she still believed that this world wasn't hers since she remembered everything in her 'world' so that's why that man and that woman are not related to her. Hopefully not. If it was, then her 'world' was just a dream and everything she knew was fake blurry people.
She shook her mind off of all the questions. Then she decided to look further, she checked the gallery and it was empty. There were no pictures or videos in there so she went to check the files but it was also empty. When she clicks the music app, she notices there's an unnamed folder only and it is full of voice records. She was about to play one but the bell interrupted her, she headed back to her classroom grabbed her backpack and quickly walked out of the school. She was so curious about what was in the voice records that she hurriedly walked, she even felt the soft gaze at her but she just ignored it and continued walking.
Tbc!
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luvhughes43 · 1 year
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your boy can't read ! | trevor zegras x author!reader
luvhughes43 masterlist🌷
ynoffical
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Liked by trevorzegras, jackbenedwards, and others
ynofficial my weekend☕️📖💐
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stephbohrer ❤️❤️
fan01 writing your next book right?😁
fan02 we want something happy this time !
fan01 no.
jackbenedwards lets go book shopping once you're back in nyc
ynoffical of course! ill text u💗
trevorzegras yaba daba doo☕️
liked by ynoffical
fan03 whatever the hell that means
trevorzegras
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trevorzegras coolest place in the world⚡️
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_quinnhughes who wrote your caption? why does it actually make sense for once
trevorzegras i take offence to that.
fan04 the fact that the caption is so simple and quinns saying that😭😭
fan05 i'm going to be honest i never have any idea what trev is talking about liked by ynoffical
jackhughes interesting... 🤔
jamie.drysdale what happened to cereal being your ideal meal?
trevorzegras i'm a changed man🫡
ynoffical cute house!
liked by trevorzegras
ynfan now hold on...🧐
ynoffical
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liked by jackhughes, trevorzegras, and others
ynoffical had some time off🌞🎨
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fan05 WHO IS THAT???
fan06 why are a bunch of nhl players liking..🧐
jackhughes im still so confused about this whole thing
ynofficial confused ? were in love😁🙏💗
jackhughes you know he can't read right?
ynofficial i know😞💔
trevorzegras you know i was just thinking and i think your bf is an excellent reader... like hes probably so good its shocking
ynoffical no i was actually just thinking that he can't
fan07 STAY FOCUSED ON THE BOOK QUEENIE DON'T LET THE BOYS DISTRACT U💪🔥‼️
trevorzegras
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liked by ynoffical, masonmctavish23, and others
trevorzegras reading very seriously.
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jackhughes no i dont think you are
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trevorzegras WTF STOP??
ynoffical happy to see you're finally learning how to read❤️
trevorzegras what if this was my last straw?
fan08 you're the lea michelle of hockey babes its okay! not everybody has to know how to read❤️
anaheimducks so proud of our Z🧡
hockeyfan: nawww even his team is setting him up😭
oldman get ur ass back on the ice you do NOT need to be reading.
ynoffical
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liked by trevorzegras, uncarley, and others
ynoffical totally normal weekly update
tagged trevorzegras
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fan09 HOLD ON????
trevorzegras 🤔🤔
jackhughes the last slide says: 👁❤️🫵 (I love Trevor Zegras) hope this helps❤️ liked by ynoffical
trevorzegras 😐
stepbroher you're really living out the hockey romance fantasy wow
ynoffical waiting for u to release your own hockey book🙏
fan10 does this mean the next book is a romance?😁
ynoffical 🤭🤭
trevorzegras i love you too
ynoffical i love u so much its crazy
trevorzegras i love you so much i read a book
jackhughes correction: he learnt how to read
trevorzegras STOP GO AWAY!
trevorzegras
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liked by ynoffical, jackhughes, and others
trevorzegras you make it so easy to love 🧡🧡
tagged ynoffical
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ynoffical 💗💗
liked by trevorzegras
jackhughes so glad ynoffical can speak emojis! otherwise you guys wouldn't be able to text each other
trevorzegras jackhughes you make me sick.
fan11 z baby look at me this isn't you...
colecaufield u guys look great💤
jamie.drysdale i'm actually surprised and i've known this whole time
masonmctavish23 i didn't think he had it in him
fan12 NOOOO THIS CANT BE HAPPPENING TO ME😭🙏
ynoffical just posted a story!
caption: lover boy🫂🤍 (aka the love of my life)
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jackhughes replied: if only trevvy could read that😪❤️
trevorzegras replied: calling u in 5 🧡🧡 love you
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belle-keys · 9 months
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Summary: Virtual Author Talk with Cassandra Clare at San Anselmo Public Library (23/08/23)
Cassie wrote her first “novel” when she was 12 on a Mac computer, the infamous The Beautiful Cassandra that she regularly teases to us. She got into writing fiction professionally full-time after leaving her journalism job in 2006.
Finishing City of Bones took about 3-4 years because it was her first novel. Holly Black was the one who hooked her up with her first agent who then got the book published, which was a really new experience. She said that the publishing process was initially surprising to her because of how crazily long it takes to get a single book published.
Cassie acknowledges that City of Bones is starkly “different” from the rest of all her books in colour and voice, because of how experimental the novel writing process was for her. She said she thinks she’s evolved a lot as a writer since then.
She aims for psychological realism in her books even though it’s fantasy. She tries to see each character as a fully-formed person who can exist outside of the immediate plot. She creates worksheets to write her characters.
She also believes it’s necessary to let your main characters make bad mistakes – she cites Matthew as a prominent example i.e. someone highly reactive to their own mistakes. Matthew is defined by his regret and his need to fix his mistakes. She thinks Matthew is one of the most relatable characters because of this.
She’s very drawn to the found family trope because of how much she moved around as a kid – the stability and love of a found family is something she’s worked to build her whole life. She emphasizes the importance of friendship and its different forms in life.
Cassie cites Magnus as the character who turned out most differently than she had initially planned – she hadn’t originally anticipated how significant Magnus would be in the wider scheme of the series.
Doing The Last Hours was, at least a little, in response to people’s excitement about The Family Tree back in 2013.
Her advice for writing fantasy worlds is to create a flexible and expansive magic system so it can grow with you as a writer. She also emphasizes letting your favorite characters make poor decisions – your characters determine the plot and not the other way around.
Cassie strikes a balance between planning worldbuilding details beforehand and then spontaneously adding in new things in the writing process. The Scholomance is an example of something new that was added later in the TSC writing chronology.
She decided that Sword Catcher had to be in the adult publishing category because when she initially developed the characters, they just appeared as people in their twenties. With TSC, the characters had just appeared to her as teenagers then. Writing characters in these different life stages was interesting and challenging.
Sword Catcher is the first in a duology, but she’d like it to be four books if it’s successful.
Cassie has always wanted to write Shadowhunters in the Roaring ‘20s but she has no idea what the plot would possibly be.
She doesn’t read TSC fanfiction, but her husband has informed her of a popular Magnus X BTS fanfiction on AO3. She stays away from fanfiction, but she is very invested in the fanart of her works. Her favorite artist is, of course, Cassandra Jean, and she also loves Charlie Bowater.
She loves writing with Holly Black and probably would only do more Middle Grade writing with her.
She is very much anti-censorship and anti-banning books, especially because of the form it takes in the US (aka, censorsing books dealing with issues affecting the BIPOC and queer communities).
She doesn’t believe they’ll do another TMI adaptation in any form, even though she doesn’t believe the TMI books’ story was ever truly told. She hopes, one day, that TID can get made as it’s the most adaptable series in her catalogue for logistical reasons.
If she couldn’t be a fiction writer, her dream job would be a travel writer. She intensely loves traveling and making her characters travel as well.
Her favorite author of all time is Dorothy Dunnett. She thinks you should check out The Queen’s Thief by Megan Whaler Turner (I agree). And she’s currently reading Hidden Pictures by Jason Rekulak (I really enjoyed this one).
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