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drysdalesworld · 2 months

Note

i loved what you wrote about the boys with super energetic kids but what about them with kids who are the complete opposite? like a very shy, quiet kid

them with a shy, quiet child

i was planning on doing this anyway but i love that you asked for it bc i wasn’t too sure if anyone else wanted that as well. hope you enjoy! <3

the boys with a shy & quiet kid (+ x fem!reader)

the boys with a shy, quiet daughter:

JACK HUGHES

— is so patient & gentle with her it’s crazy

— ^ like he’s so careful with his words when speaking to her & always makes sure that she’s comfortable

— speaks for her when she’s too shy to speak. like when the three of you are out at a restaurant & she’s too shy to tell the waiter what she wants, he’ll do it for her & always makes sure to ask her exactly what she wants beforehand so there’s no mistakes when ordering

— holds her hand when she gets anxious & squeezes it a couple of times to make sure she knows that he’s there for her

— she much prefers you over jack due to how calmer you are as a person but he doesn’t mind at all. if anything, he’s glad that she’s able to find solace in the reader as he can only imagine how hard it is to be shy & quiet as a child

— he genuinely tries to be more calmer & quiet in her presence. it’s a work in progress

— jack often finds himself going to quinn for advice on how to do better with his daughters shy & quietness. he only wants to do good by his daughter & it shows in his actions

— encourages her to speak her truth & speak up for herself when needed. he knows that it’s a hard thing to do but he encourages it by practicing & setting an example with reader as they both openly communicate how they feel to each other

— will literally wear a princess dress to the movies if a new disney movie comes out & she decides it’s her new favorite princess & wants to dress up. he has no shame

— during the summers, he makes sure to lather her in sunscreen. he’s deathly afraid of her burning so he goes the extra mile

— ^ tries to convince her to go wake boarding with him but she always says no. until a couple of weeks into the summer months, she finally agrees & has a blast as jack holds her tightly & does all these cool spins & tricks on the board

— he 100% always joins the readers & their daughters nap times when he gets back home from morning skate. the sight of the two of you wrapped up & cuddled around each other is so cute & makes his heart melt

— jack makes sure to give her a puck before every home game & blows her a kiss before skating off. he also makes sure to dedicate his second goal to her, his first dedicated to you always

KIRBY DACH

— she’s so small in comparison to kirby it’s insane

— he always holds her close wherever they go together. since you both live in montréal, & it’s cold, he always bundles her up so it’s quite funny to see him carrying just a ball of wrapped baby

— kirby’s so much more gentler & quieter with her. he can definitely tell when she’s having a more quiet day & is the best in making her comfortable

— 100% tries to help with her shyness by signing her up in sports or other activities to try to get her out of her shell

— ^ you once suggested summer camp & kirby was super hesitant about it but she ended up loving it so much that she couldn’t wait for the next summer. kirby lowkey felt sad at that bc all he wants to do is spend time with his baby girl & her going off nearly every summer for however many weeks just goes to show how much she’s growing

— whenever she gets nervous or eerily quiet, he holds out his hand for her & just dance around with her. it never fails to put a smile on her face & always gets her out of her funk

— kirby made her a bracelet when she was younger & she wore the shit out of it. it’s now just string but she always played with it whenever she got nervous or approached a new person at school in hopes of being their friend. she still carries it around with her for comfort

— is so supportive in whatever she does

— ^ she wants to play pickleball instead of hockey? he’s already checking out all the gear she’ll need. decides last minute to wear a princess dress instead of her school uniform? he’s asking her which dress she wants. she wants to try to make a friend by herself at the park? he’s sitting back & observing w/ a smile on his face

— kirby’s very big on communication so he always makes sure to check in on her & her feelings. it’s gotten to the point where she’ll just tell you how she feels instead of reader or kirby having to ask

— is also the type of dad to have matching costumes with his daughter

— ^ one year they went as (pink) kirby & princess daisy. it was so fucking cute. it’s one of your lock screens in your phone hehe

— is the one to wake her up in the morning & ease any anxiety she has about school or making new friends

— ^ he’ll brush back the hair from her face & softly speak to her as she voices her concerns & he’s so good at proving that she has nothing to be afraid of. he also makes sure that she’s confident in whatever she wears so kirby allows her to choose her outfits (she’s a little fashionista fr)

NICO HISCHIER

— mans will be the gentlest giant with her

— ^ cuddles 24/7 & nothing but affirmations from this man

— he can understand how hard it is to be so shy & quiet so he always tries his best to make little goals with his daughter in hopes of breaking her out of her shell

— ^ he’ll ask her what she wants to achieve that day on their way to school. it can be anything ranging from making a flower crown to asking someone to play with her during playtime. he’s always so proud of her when she runs up to him after school with the biggest smile on her face, telling him what she achieved that day

— nico’s heart always warms whenever he sees reader & their daughter together. she’s a lot like you & he’s so proud & thankful that he’s been blessed with this kind of life

— encourages her to go to practices with him whenever she’s allowed to

— is def the dad to be up on the stage with his daughter during her ballerina recital

— takes her to new places for exposure & although it’s nerve racking for the both of them, it’s something that neither of them will forget bc of the fun memories

— she does eventually “grow out” of being quiet & shy. she’s got a lot more tools to work with when she’s anxious or feeling shy & nico is always there to help her whenever she needs it

— plays with her hair when he sees that she’s going back into her shell

— ^ he allows her to do so most days but he knows the importance of building up your confidence when young & making friends so he plays with her hair for a bit while he talks to her to bring back up her mood. it usually works

— 100% the one to talk to her about her anxieties & make her feel better about them after

— nico tries everything to get her more out of her shell. he puts her into sports he thinks she’ll enjoy. makes sure she goes to her classmates birthday parties. all that stuff with different goals in mind so even if she doesn’t make a new friend, she’ll still have something to be proud of herself for

TREVOR ZEGRAS

— tbh, he has no clue what to do lol

— he’s learned a great amount of patience with his daughter

— he def tries to understand why she’s so quiet & shy. this leads him to reading about it more & seeking out answers on what he could do to accommodate her more

— trev 100% had to go to jamie for help since they’re both alike in personality. he’s such a big help

— will do anything to protect her & make sure she’s comfortable

— ^ whether that be in his arms or by herself, he’s ready to do whatever

— practices speaking up for herself. trevor will be so much more talkative about how he feels & what he’s doing throughout the day w/ her that she’ll eventually pick up on it & do it herself

— ^ if she’s not confident enough to verbalize it, she’ll write it & sometimes he & her go back & forth with letters. reader got the whole family a notebook so they all can communicate through that if verbalizing it is too hard

— mans literally shed a tear when she made her first friend

— the entire ducks team adore her

— let’s her take the reins in some things. it gives her the confidence to do things for herself & he can see the change in her behavior when she has more control over certain choices

— if she’s feeling shy or anxious, trevor will suggest they play hide ‘n seek or another game to get her mind off things or to simply just make her laugh & have a good time

— always on high energy when he wakes her up & sometimes she bounces off him with it but most often, she doesn’t so he has to check himself a lot & be a lot more calmer around her in the morning

the boys with a shy, quiet son:

JAMIE DRYSDALE

— is so happy to have a kid just like him. he literally looks just like jamie & acts like him it’s kind of eerie

— before jamie leaves for morning skate, he always presses a kiss to the crown of his sons forehead, whispering a promise of coming back & waking him up for breakfast

— ^ jamie takes great pleasure in waking up your son every morning after he returns from morning skate. he just looks so cute with his dark hair all sprawled about, still wiping the sleep from his eyes as he reaches out for his dad. jamie always chuckled to himself as he takes his son into his arms & rubs his back soothingly, making his way out to the kitchen where you are

— you & jamie are one of the only people your son plays with so it’s always a hassle to try to encourage him to play with other children his age

— ^ the one time it works is when jamie took him to the park & started talking to one of the other dads there. his son saw him talking to someone new so he decided that if his dad can do it, then so can he. he made two friends that day & they regularly go on play dates

— you always encourage both jamie & your son to be more friendly & talkative as you know it would most likely help them break out of their shells a little bit

— he put your son into hockey in hopes of him coming out of his shell a little bit & it def worked. jamie sometimes has to drag your son off of the ice bc he doesn’t want to leave just yet

— he’s really only friendly to certain people like trevor or mason since he’s known them since he could remember. it’s just other people he’s super hesitant about but both him & jamie are working on it together!

— loves loves holding him & taking him everywhere

— he always talks to him too about whatever & his son usually responds talking about something random. it’s how he developed his rambling habit whenever he meets new kids lol

— when he got traded, jamie was really nervous to see how your son reacted to the change since it was so sudden & abrupt. but he surprisingly took it really well. he even said hi to some of the other players after the game, head buried into readers collarbone as he waved to those walking passed him

— ^ the flyers def love your son & always include him on their “barking”. once he gets comfortable enough, he just kind of screams instead of barking but the whole team just eats it up & loves it, cheering him on

LUKE HUGHES

— he & his son are one in the same

— ^ they have the same facial expressions for everything & it’s too funny when they overhear someone saying some random shit & make the exact same face

— your son may be shy & quiet but he’s also calm & mellow. he speaks through his eyes & facial expressions

— ^ has a rbf & is not afraid to use it (especially if someone’s bothering him or you lol)

— reader 100% believes that her son is an old soul & is just done with living. like little dude barely tries to make friends (granted he is shy & it’s a little difficult for him) & just doesn’t have much to say & when he does, he has you reevaluating your life after a conversation

— lukes fav thing to do with his son is put a shit ton of blankets on the couch, make a fort, & watch his favorite movies while snacking on mac n cheese & homemade cookies. they do it nearly every night luke’s home

— he’s super gentle & patient with him as he tries to navigate his shyness. luke encourages him to make friends but doesn’t pressure him at all & also puts him into sports in hopes that he makes them naturally through that

— ^ & it does work! he’s made so many friends through hockey, soccer, baseball, etc.. although he is still quite shy & quiet during his games, which he is actively working on

— whispers to him when he’s overwhelmed & rubs his back in comfort as his son crawls into his arms

— puts him to bed & reads him bedtime stories

— at the lake house, luke is ever the more observant & cautious with his son. he makes sure to put sunscreen on him & that he always has his hat on to protect him from the sun

— ^ when he asked luke if he could go wake boarding with him, he nearly squealed in excitement. his son doesn’t really feel comfortable trying new things so this is a HUGE step in the right direction. holds onto him so tight as he giggles whenever luke does tricks. he has such a blast

QUINN HUGHES

— these two are a mirror image of each other it’s insane

— ^ ellen pointed it out to you a few weeks after you had given birth & you can’t unsee it (your son & quinn are twinsies fr)

— even tho his son is shy, he highly encourages him to make some friends in pre-k but assures him that he should take it day by day & that he’ll always love him no matter what

— definitely tries to make him less anxious by taking him in his arms & giving him raspberries in his neck or on his stomach. it helps take his mind off of whatever he was thinking about

— his son always wants to see him right after quinn’s games, which isn’t always possible so sometimes he has him join him for interviews. just quinns presence makes his son calm

— ^ quinns def encouraged him to answer or speak into the mic & his son is always a blushing mess after he says hi into it, hiding his face in the crook of quinns neck as everyone awes

— quinn always has a hand on his son. whether it be on top of his curly hair or on his back as his soothingly rubs it. he always has to have a hand on your son as quinn knows that he’s his son safe person. it makes the both of them feel better

— always tries to include him in everything (when it’s appropriate) so he’ll def bring him to events or practices. it exposes him to more things & it eases his sons anxiety with stuff like that

— 100% does arts & crafts with him. it’s so fucking cute istg

— when he’s old enough to understand certain words, quinn will tell him about his struggles with being a quiet child as well. he wants his son to know that he’s not alone & never is

— gets him a bear that has a voice recorder in it with the both of you saying “we love you bud! you got this!” that he plays every morning & it 100% makes him feel better about whatever he was worried about

— his son’s biggest cheerleader fr

— ^ the loudest you will ever hear quinn be is at his sons sports game or when he gets an award. he’s so proud of him & all of his progress, no matter how great or small

LUCA FANTILLI

— is off the walls ecstatic to just have a child really

— loves him either way

— luca is definitely his sons safe person so luca always has him in his arms or has a hand on his head as he clings onto his leg

— always refers to him as “buddy” or “my little buddy”, which gets him out of his shell sometimes since he wants to be just like his dad

— so so patient & understanding

— ^ will sit by his son as he’s trying to express himself without feeling nervous & lets him take his time. also helps him through his emotions as well

— encourages him to practice his “social skills” on him so he can remember what to say or do when he wants to make a new friend

— takes him to practice when allowed & just lets him chill or play around with the pucks

— ^ the entire umich team loves loves your son & although he is shy, they always make an effort to talk to him or fist bump him every time they skate by him. they respect his boundaries 100% too

— ^^ monday questions with him is always 50/50. sometimes he’ll be up for it & other times he won’t. but when he is, he’s so cute & giggly as he answers the question (most definitely copying his dads answer)

— reader is the one to wake him up more often than not & he much prefers it that way. you’re much calmer than luca at times so your son loves to just cuddle up to you as you pick him up & make your way to the kitchen where luca is making breakfast

— luca has him do the “shakes” whenever he’s feeling anxious about something

— ^ he told his son that it helps with getting the nerves out & he’ll absolutely just start shaking his arms or whole body out of nowhere to get rid of them

— the king at back rubs fr

— gets all papa bear when he hears from his sons teacher that some kids were making fun of him for being so quiet. luca literally gives a stern talking to to their parents & tells his son that bullies only do that to make themselves feel better since they feel “bad/insecure” about themselves. him being shy & quiet is something that he shouldn’t be ashamed of as it is apart of him & luca & reader love every inch of their son, no matter what

— posts “ootd” stories on his insta & hypes up his son as he poses & giggles

— always makes sure to shower his son in praise whenever he achieves a goal or makes a new friend. he’s so excited for his little buddy & his progress!

COLE CAUFIELD

— is surprisingly good at this for some reason

— knows all the tricks to encourage his son to get out of his shell & interact with others

— ^ you’re suspicious of him sometimes bc whatever he does or suggests always works. it’s like he’s psychic or something

— if he’s not having a good day, cole will gather his son in his arms & hold his close to his chest. sometimes he even puts his sweatshirt over him as he’s wearing it so he feels even safer

— cole throws ice cream parties whenever his son makes a new friend or talks to someone for longer than five minutes

— ^ you think it’s a bit excessive but start to see the progress he’s making in breaking through his shell so you don’t stop cole from continuing to throw them. you eventually find it super cute & heartfelt

— def encourages him to find something he’s passionate about to take his mind off whatever he’s feeling anxious about. sports is something he wants to try so cole sort of threw him into whatever sport he thought he’d enjoy

— ^ soccer is something your son enjoys as communication has to be constant between all the players & it encourages him to be more vocal

— is really good at implementing coping techniques/mechanisms for his son if he ever needs them. lowkey a therapist fr (he’s got extensive knowledge about this shit that you sometimes wonder what cole would be like as an actual therapist)

— gets super excited when he does something out of his comfort zone & makes sure his son knows how proud of him he is

— is super patient & understanding

— it’s a tradition for cole to take him to practice once or twice a month (or week) & the boys absolutely love your son!

— ^ little dude is a completely different person on the ice it’s insane. all of his shyness & quiet tendencies disappear & he just has so much fun that it sometimes makes cole tear up with pride & happiness

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pocketsizedq · 3 months

Text

Them cuddling you HC

Big spoons

Jamie Drysdale

-He’s a very shy when it comes to receiving physical affection from you

-it takes alittle bit before he warms up to you but once he does

-He is always cuddling you or hugging you

-His arms always remain around your waist when you are cooking or doing something

-sometimes after a game and he’s tired is the only time he lets you hold him but he’s very blushy and shy about it

-you guys usingly sleep with your head snuggle into his chest and with you on your side and his arms wrapped around while he’s laying on his back

-He always pulls you close to his chest and place a kiss on your forehead

-makes sure your comfortable and cozy when cuddling

Maveric Lamoureux

-him being 6’7 makes a big spoon

-you had to get a California king for you both to cuddle comfortably

-He always uses his large frame to his advantage

-when you both spoon he traps you with his long legs which you never complain as it makes you feel comfortable

-you both sleep on your guys sides but your facing him well his chest and you snuggle your face into his chest as he holds you close

-he rest his cheek on your head playing with the ends of your hair

-if he’s had a bad day he would want to be held and would lay his full weight on top of you

Luke Hughes

-Strong cuddler

-when you are cooking breakfast for him,Jack and you

->He will come half asleep into the kitchen wrapping his arms around your waist pulling you close snuggling his face into your neck leaving small kisses.

-Jack always side eyes you two if he finds you both cuddling on the couch

-He more of a spoon cuddler when it comes to sleeping.

->He would lay on his side while you lay on yours and he would wrap his arms around your waist and he’d hold your hands

->if he couldn’t fall asleep he would slighty fidget and play with your hands as you sleep

Lukas Dostal

-big Bear energy

-when he comes home from a game he always looks forward to cuddling with you

-He would never admit that he loves cuddling but he does

-he’d find you in the bed and he’d get quickly changed before getting into bed with you as he showered at the rink

-He’d pull you into his arms while he lay on his back and you rest your head kind of on his shoulder

-He’d just tell you all about the game went and his feelings

-you’d listen and play with his hands

-he’s always gentle with you and sometimes stops talking to look at you just admiring how pretty you are

-you both usually fall asleep that way

Jeremy Swayman

-protective cuddler

-He’s always hugging you like giving you full on bear hugs

-he’s a very affectionate person so he’s arms are always on you

-when you both go to sleep

-he sleeps where the entrance is into the bedroom as just a safety precaution as he worries something might happen

-He always spoons as he can turn his back to the door and keeps a strong hold on you protective

-he always feels you sometimes playing with his hands

Mason Mctavish

-your personal teddy bear

-absolutely loves cuddling and having you close to him

-he always has you on top of him sleeping as he likes the feeling of your weight on top of him

-your head is snuggled into his neck and your knees by his sides while his arms are around your waist

-always leaves a small kiss on your temple every now and then

-loves the sound of your breathing not in a weird way but the sound of it is comforting to him when you fall asleep before him

Nico Hischier

-loves holding you

-He always feel like he’s at home when he has you in his arms

-He cuddles you everywhere and even sometimes infront of the guys

-he’d cuddle you when your sitting on his lap when the guys are over talking about different things

-He’s also very cuddly when he’s tired

-you always sleep with your head on his chest and he tiredly scratches your back as you both fall asleep

Jack Hughes

-could go either way honestly

-He loves holding you at night but he also loves snuggling his face into your chest when he is sick

-He literally even when he is sick will motorboat you

-always loves having his wrap about you when he silps even if you try to move away from hus embrace he pulls you in more.

-always kisses your forehead before going to sleep at night.

Adam Fantilli

-has a very protective style when cuddling

-if you guys are in a new area when cuddling he always makes sure you are tightly tucked in his arms

-when you guys are home you snuggle your face into his neck and he wraps his arms around you

-only is little spoon when he has bad days

Little spoons

Cole Caufield

-loves being the one to be held

-always loves being held by you after a long day or even if it’s just a relaxing day

-he always loves coming home to you all snuggled up into the bed wear all he does is have to change and snuggle into your chest

-loves listening to the sound of your heart beat as he tangles his legs with yours

-always ask you to play with his hair which you always do and you do until he’s asleep

Fraser Minten

-he’s always wanting to have your arms wrapped around him

-if he’s ever having a hard day he loves to be held by you

-even though he’s taller than you He’s still the small spoon

-you both lay on your sides and he always like the feeling of your face cuddled into his back

-always fidgets with your hands that are around him as he always gets a little flustered when you both cuddle together before you both fall asleep

Trevor Zegras

-this man is a strong ball of energy

-the man can’t stay still even if your cuddling him

-you always have to convince him to come cuddle but once you finally get him to agree

-He’s all happy about it

-you both spoon but he snuggles his face into your chest which makes you always giggle which makes him grin

-you always play with his hair and plant kisses on his forehead which he enjoys very much

-this is the only time he will stay calm as you heartbeat calms him

Luca Fantilli

-absolute angel

-loves just being in your arms as he rants about what ever is on his mind

-loves when you gently scratch his back as he talks

-he always keeps his head on your waist with his head on your shoulder so he can easily look up at your pretty face and leave small kisses on your jawline

-when you fall asleep he always looks up and watches you sleep wrapping his arms tightly around you waist

Quinn Hughes

-this man would never admit to being a little spoon but he enjoys it

-In your arms he feels that he could drop all the stress of being captain and games and just relax in your arms

-He’s very cuddly when sleeply

-if he’s had a long hard day after game and press he always comes home to you and snuggles his face into your neck slighty laying on top of you

-you would run your fingers through his hair gently scratching his scalp which brings him comfort

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sunflower-lilac42 · 4 months

Text

✧ 𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 | luke hughes ♔

summary: y/n zegras was never known to be a party animal, but when her friends come to visit her during the summer, things get a little out of hand

warnings: drunk reader, drinking, crying, getting injured, throwing up

notes: i can't believe how fast i wrote this, but no complaints, unless it sucks then i apologize. thank you to my anon who helped with this because i absolutely loved every minute of writing it. also this would've been out an hour ago but i got hungry so i made dinner :)

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This was a bad idea, a horrible idea. She knew she shouldn’t have gone out with them in the first place, but y/n was a people pleaser and caved quickly. Saying goodbye to her friends at the lake house she headed out with her friends to whatever party they wanted her to go to.

It also never took much for her to get drunk, she could hold and handle her liquor that wasn’t the problem, but she was a lightweight, which made this night all the worse. Two drinks in, the ones forced by her friends, were all it took for her to go back willingly for more. Three drinks after that she was absolutely hammered.

She knew she should go home and she did. And as she started walking out of the party, her friend grabbed ahold of her, “Where are you going?!”

“I should get home.”

“It’s only-” Her friend’s words were slurred, checking her watch, “Midnight. Just say for a little while longer.”

Y/n being the person that she was nodded and went back to dancing with her friends. An hour or two later she felt sick and put her foot down with her friends, saying that she was leaving. The three others nodded and let her go, the girl walking outside and stumbling down the street.

She tripped not long after that, her knees scraping on the ground. She was overly emotional from drinking and instantly teared up, followed by throwing up in a nearby trash can. She dug around in her purse for her phone and turned it on, immediately going to call her boyfriend.

However, just as her finger was about to hit the call button she paused, thinking about how she didn’t want Luke to see how she looked right now. They had known each other since they were little, yet only started recently dating. She had no desire for him seeing how she looked right now.

Swiping out of Luke’s contact she went to find Trevor’s, calling him instantly.

“Y/n/n? Where are you?”

“Trev.” Her voice was littered with emotion, Trevor could hear the waver and tears in her voice.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I think I had-” She hiccuped and sniffled, “A little too much to drink and I-I hurt myself.” Tears were streaming down her face as she spoke, lifting her hand to wipe her cheeks off.

Grabbing his keys from his nightstand he stood quickly, “Okay, do you want Luke to come with?”

“No, no, no, no-”

“Okay, I won’t ask him. How about Jacky and Cole?” She nodded and whimpered a ‘yes’ and Trevor was knocking on their doors within seconds.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Jack stood against the doorframe looking at his best friends, “Y/n’s hurt.”

“What?” Luke stood at the end of the hallway, looking between his brother and his brother’s friends.

Trevor’s eyes widened, “Hey Lukey.”

“Y/n’s hurt?”

He nodded and told Jack and Cole to put their shoes on, “Can I come?”

“I asked her and she said no.”

“What? Why? Let me talk to her!” Trevor put his phone out of reach for the youngest Hughes not to grab it.

“She doesn't want you to come and I think you should respect that Luke.”

“But she- she’s- she just said she was hurt.”

Tears flooded the boy’s eyes and Trevor looked conflicted, looking between his phone and Luke. Luckily, Jack walked out of his room and placed his arms around his brother, “I’m sure she’s okay. We’ll go get her and bring her back.”

“You guys are going? Why do they get to go?”

“Because she wanted them to.”

“Trevor?” Y/n’s voice is heard from his phone where he accidentally put her on speaker.

No one paid any mind to it, “That’s such bullshit.”

“Luke! She’s scared and drunk and probably just needs what is most familiar and comfortable to her, which is the three of us.” Cole tried to reason with the younger boy, but nothing was getting through to him.

“We’ve been friends for almost as long as you guys have been and we're dating, why wouldn’t she trust me?!”

“She does trust you, Luke. But you two are also just getting into a rhythm of dating and maybe she doesn’t want you to see her like this. And before you say anything, she knows you won’t care but she's not thinking straight. Why don’t you go sit with Quinn until we get home and we’ll let you know, okay?”

“Whatever.” He stormed off into his room, the other three rolling their eyes and rushing out to who's ever car was first.

“We’ll be there soon, y/n/n, okay?” Cole asked, taking the phone from his friend.

She nodded and listened to Cole talk to her as they drove to where she sat on the curb, hoping no one would come up to her.

Luckily, no one did and the three rushed out of the car and to her side.

“Are you okay?”

“I think so, I just got a little nervous.”

Trevor kneeled in front of her as Jack and Cole wrapped one of their arms around her at each of her sides. Placing his hands on her knees, Trevor spoke, “How many drinks did you have?”

By now, she was able to talk without slurring her words, her mind being able to think more clearly. She held five fingers up and looked down shamefully.

Jack chuckled, “You know you can’t drink that much.”

Still emotional, her eyes held tears again in her eyes, “I know, I know. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad?”

“Hey, no one’s mad, we just want you to be more careful. Let’s fix up your knees and then we’ll go home.” Trevor went back to the car to grab the first aid kit that Cole had thrown in there.

“Where are your friends?” Cole took off his jacket and placed it around the girl, “They wanted to stay longer. I didn’t want them to have to leave because of me.”

Placing a kiss on her head, Cole chuckled, “You and your people-pleaser tendencies.”

“Hey don’t make fun of me.” She held a pout on her face and Jack laughed as well, “We could never.”

She laughed as well and Trevor cheered placing the last band-aid on her knee, “Yay, we got a smile! You ready to go home?”

She nodded and the three helped her up, Jack happily driving home so she could sit with her brother in the back. She easily laid against Trevor, placing her feet in Cole’s lap.

“Is Luke mad at me?”

The three looked at each other, Jack glancing in the rearview mirror, “No, just a little upset.”

“I heard him over the phone.”

Trevor sighed and moved the hair that was crowding over her face out of the way, “He just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“He sounded really frustrated.”

“He’s just worried.”

Moments passed in silence before y/n spoke again, “You were right you know?”

The boys furrowed their eyebrows, “Who?”

“Jack.”

“I didn’t even do anything,” Jack claimed, his voice going higher.

“When you were talking to Luke.”

She flipped over so she was lying on her left side, looking through the rearview mirror so she could see Jack, tracing shapes on the floor of the car, “You said that I didn’t want him to see me like this, you were right.”

“He loves you, you know? He wouldn’t have cared.”

“I know, but there was just something, I don’t know. Scary about it. We’ve been friends for so long and I just didn’t want him to see me mess up as his girlfriend and end it.”

To, y/n, Luke seeing her drunk and emotional as friends was different than him seeing her drunk when they were dating. Sure there were plenty of times Luke had seen her drunk before, but now, it was almost as if she was afraid of him judging her more than before.

Cole nodded his head, “I can see that. But at the same time, y/n/n, some of the things you can say are different from when you were friends, yet not really now that you’re dating. This for example, except Luke is allowed to show his worry more.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For always being there for me.” She drifted off to sleep and the three boys looked at each other and smiled.

✧༺✎༻∞

“Wakey, wakey.”

“No.” Y/n groaned, feeling more of the effects of the alcohol she consumed.

“Come on, you’re going to give Luke a heart attack soon.”

“But I’m tired. And you’re fucking loud.”

“Only the best for you, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that, only Luke can call me that.”

“Oh sure, I’ve been calling you that since third grade but when my brother comes along, he gets priority.”

“Shut it.”

“I can just leave you out here.”

“No! I love you, I’m sorry, you can call me whatever you want just take me inside, please.”

“Alright lil Z, let’s go.”

“Anything but that. I don’t want to be associated with that one.” She pointed to her right where Cole was standing.

“One, ow, that was rude and two, I’m over here dipshit.”

“I’m telling, Mom.”

“Then I’ll tell her you got drunk.”

“I’m 21, I can get drunk if I want to.”

“Then I’ll tell her you got drunk freshman year of college.”

“Fine. Truce, all of you.”

The three nodded and shook her hand, taking her inside. As soon as the front door unlocked and opened, Luke stood up from his place on the couch and rushed over to the door, “Lukey!”

Luke caught his girlfriend in his embrace, wrapping his arms around her torso, “Hey. You okay?”

“I had a little too much to drink.” She giggled wrapping her hands around his neck.

“Have fun bro.” The three walked off, Trevor patting him on the shoulder, to their rooms, leaving the couple behind.

“You want to go lay down?”

“Yes please.” Luke picked her up, her legs unconsciously wrapping around Luke’s waist.

He carried her with ease to his room, placing her on the bed, “What do you want to wear?”

“Your clothes.” Luke chuckled and went to grab some clothes for her, helping her get changed.

The two got comfortable in his bed, y/n wrapping herself in the blanket and snuggling up next to Luke,

“I’m sorry for not wanting you to come, I was just nervous about how you would-”

“Hey, let’s talk about this tomorrow, okay? I’m just glad you weren’t severely hurt.” He kissed her forehead and tightened his hold on her.

She nodded, drifting off to sleep, smiling to herself.

✧༺✎༻∞

✎ BONUS ⇘ : :

Luke woke up around eight and took a look around his room, y/n was nowhere to be found, “Babe?”

He got up and trekked downstairs to see his brothers Trevor and Cole in the kitchen, “Have you guys seen y/n?”

The four looked at each other, then at Luke, trying not to laugh, “Bathroom.”

“Hey! I’m out of the bathroom, thank you very much.”

“After spending thirty minutes in there.” Jack retorted coming around the side and sitting next to her, kissing her on the head, “But we love you.”

“Do you though?”

“No.”

“Hey stop being mean to my girlfriend!” Luke pulled the girl away from his brother and into his lap.

“Get your hands off my sister.”

“Never.” Trevor gagged and went back to pouring the orange juice into the glasses.

“Cole’s the only one that was nice to me last night.”

“That’s so not true. You got mad at me for calling you sweetheart.”

“I did?”

“Mhm, you were all like ‘Luke’s the only one that can call me that.’ and ‘Luke this’ or ‘Luke that’.”

Y/n blushed, hiding her face in her boyfriend’s chest, “Awe, you love me.”

“You wish, Hughes. I love Cole and Quinn. You three are jerks.”

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you

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nhlclover · 2 months

Text

hey stephen | cole caufield

word count: 1.25k

summary: when reunited, both yours and coles crushes on each other come back full force.

warnings: drinking, mentions of puking, tiny bit of swearing

notes: sort of but not really based on ‘hey stephen’ by taylor swift. hope you enjoy!!

You adored the wrap-around porch of the lakehouse. The screen allowed soft breezes and rays of sunlight to wade in while keeping bugs out. The comfy furniture Jack and Quinn had splurged on last summer was a bonus. That’s exactly why you found yourself nodding off into a midday nap in the cuddler chair, your book long forgotten on the side table next to you.

Tires crunching on the gravel followed by the car horn beeping obnoxiously rip you from the brink of sleep. You groan, getting up from the chair and walking to the front door to see who was there. Jack's car was now parked behind Quinn in the driveway, the trunk open.

You had arrived the week before with Quinn and Luke, the three of you driving from home together. Jack, however, had visited his friend Cole in Montreal and was driving down with Cole a few days later.

“Hey!” Jack calls out to you, walking over with a cooler in hand.

“Hey there.” You grinned. “What’s in the cooler?”

Jack places the cooler down, opening the lid to show you the contents. “Did you pack anything other than beer?” You asked.

Jack scoffs, picking it back up. “Of course. We have some coolers in the trunk.” He says, walking past you and into the house. You notice someone come out from behind the car, carrying a duffle bag and a backpack.

“Hey.” He smiles. You know who it is immediately. It’s hard to not recognize that face. That smile. That laugh.

You hadn’t seen Cole since he played with Jack on the USNDT. You had a crush on him back then when the two of you were in high school. He was always kind to you and you had always found him adorable. You saw him fairly frequently then, but hadn’t in 4 years since Cole moved to Montreal, while you stayed in the States and went to school.

“Hi.” You squeak out.

Cole is still just as cute and still has the same smile, just slightly older and more grown. In high school, Cole was smaller, making him a bit of an anomaly among hockey players. But now he had filled out, put on muscle and you were finding now that there was a new layer to your attraction. A new physical attraction.

“Hi y/n,” He replies, stepping closer to you and opening his arms. “What has it been? Ten years since I saw you?”

You chuckle, shaking your head. “Try four.” You say, accepting his hug.

“How is that possible?” He asks.

“Blame Jack, he’s the one who always invites you when I’m never here.” You say.

“Why would I want my annoying sister here during a boys' trip?” Jack said, giving you a shoulder check as he walked past you to the car.

You stuck up your middle finger to his back, walking back inside with Cole following behind. Quinn and Luke had now come in from the dock, greeting Cole.

“Hey, man,” Luke says, bringing him in for a hug. “How’s it going?”

While Luke and Cole caught up with one another, you helped stock the fridge.

The first two weeks of summer blew by. Your days consisted of boat rides, occasionally joining your brothers and Cole in their training sessions at the local rink, and tanning on the dock. Through the two weeks spent together, your crush on Cole grew stronger.

Cole, in being around you for the first time in 4 years, is reminded of the crush he once harboured for you. He’d once thought it was just a fleeting crush he’d long dismissed. However, now being with you, he realized it was much more than that. It was a pining that never truly went away, merely went dormant just beneath the surface.

It was nearing the end of Cole’s stay before he was going to head back to Wisconsin. For Cole, whose feelings had hit their peak, it was now or never to confess his feelings.

The combined brains of Jack and Luke had decided to have a final night of going hard and drinking. From inside, you could hear the shouting of the boys who were playing a drinking game. You’d played the first few rounds of a game Quinn had introduced but forfeited as you didn’t want to be too hungover in the morning. You’d instead retreated to the porch, observing the lightning strikes on the neighbouring islands. You nursed a beer that you had started in the last round of the game.

A few moments later the door connecting the living room to the patio opened, and Cole stepped out. “Hey.” He said upon spotting you.

“Hey.” You replied. “You finished your drinking game?”

“No, they’re still going at it. I bailed.” Cole said. He walks over, standing next to you. He follows your gaze to the lake, the sound of the rain hitting the water filling the silence.

Cole admires the way you seem transfixed by the storm. “You like thunderstorms?” Cole asks.

“I love them.” You reply, a grin forming on your lips. “The way the lightning illuminates the sky…It’s just so cool”

Staring at you now, Cole was entranced by how you looked at the water. He couldn’t help himself. Something within Cole snaps and he can’t keep it in any longer. The song inside the living room changed, Hey Stephen now playing. The song sparks an idea in his head and Cole blurts out the words.

“I can’t help it… you look like an angel.” Cole says. Your head snaps towards him and you go to speak, but Cole beats you to it. “And I can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain.”

You clue into what Cole is referencing, a grin forming on your lips. You stay quiet, hoping Cole will continue which he does.

“So come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you. I can’t help it if there’s no one else. I can’t help myself.” He finishes.

“Did you just quote Taylor Swift?” You ask Cole.

“Maybe…” Cole says, reluctantly.

“Are you flirting with me?” You ask him.

Cole takes a step back, his cheeks burning as he reads your reaction as one of almost disgust. “Oh, am I that bad at it?”

“Not at all.” You smile. Cole relaxes at your words. “So do you really want to kiss me in the rain?”

Cole steps forward, slowly placing his hands on your waist. Apprehension and anticipation lace the air as you prepare to cross a boundary previously untouched. His lips land softly on yours, contradicting the emotions that were swirling within the both of you. With each kiss and the quickening of the rhythm, you find yourself melting into him. Your arms link around his shoulders, drawing him closer till your chests are pressed together.

Thunder rattles the sky but doesn’t disturb the bubble you two were in, rather underscoring the moment you two were having.

You are finally forced apart when the door to the porch swings open, hitting the wall next to it. Luke comes rushing out and down the steps, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the grass. Jack and Quinn come out next, not even noticing the two of you, instead laughing hysterically at Luke as he dry heaves on the lawn.

Cole takes your hand, quietly drawing you away and back into the house. You follow him up the stairs, away from the boys downstairs.

#cole caufield #cole caufield x reader #cole caufield imagine #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey #hockey imagine #nhl players #nhl fic #montreal canadiens #habs

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angelwithdemonictendencies · 6 months

Text

every love i've ever known has been drenched in blood; teach me how to unfurl these fists, show me where to put down this knife.

ax72 x reader: the fireman feels like something special.

(warnings: blasphemous filth, unprotected penetrative sex (m on f), hair pulling, oral sex (f on m), biting (briefly, okay?), crying, dirty talk (tasteful but serious. i'm not kidding), just all my typical stuff (and all my usual ax72 stuff - so legs and limbs and size and the like). don't read if you're not 100% sure).

(a/n: my favorites! thank you for being patient with me. for your reading pleasure, may i present to you a ax72 fic in which he is a volunteer fireman and you are plagued with fear and self-doubt! i'm joking, but not really. i couldn't not write something for him after the insane start to the season he's had - penalty minutes leader darling deserves a treat. obviously none of the details make sense, none of the dialogue is realistic, there are way too many dramatic speeches and angsty confessions, but you guys know that at this point. to anyone who may relate to what this main character is going through, please know you are not alone. it is very easy to push good things away because they scare you. but to be scared is to care about something. follow your fear, stalk it, don't let up on it until it leads you to something lovely, something real. pretty please tell me what you think. i think jh86 may be next but i'm still storyboarding. for now, i'm sending you and your snakes every single bit of courage and love i've got. go canucks. until next time).

that first night was cold like an absent mother. cruel and unforgiving, unavoidable.

the cold was weathered, however, but the hushed laughter and bickering amongst your housemates as you all exited the front door, smoke alarms blaring, loud and relentless.

"do we actually have to evacuate if we know there's not a fire?" your roommate asked, covering her ears with her hands.

another housemate sighed. "maybe we wouldn't have to if you hadn't left your curling iron on for three fucking hours."

your roommate grimaced. "my bad, guys. this one is on me."

you couldn't help a laugh as you threw an arm around her shoulders. "we know, sweetness. live and learn."

someone groaned. "it's frigid out here, jesus."

you nodded in agreement. the alarm had begun to sound at just after two in the morning, meaning everyone in the house was dressed for bed, all thin sleep shorts and fleecy sweatshirts, no where near enough to combat the brisk air, which was already starting to make your teeth chatter.

"great. here comes the government," one of your friends said, eye roll evident in her voice as the sound of the siren began to overtake the tamer sound of the smoke alarm.

you and your roommate giggled at her comment as you huddled together. as a polysci major, she had an opinion on everything, including all facets of the public sector. for example, the fire department, who pulled up to the curb at that moment in their truck.

"who's going to do the talking?" your roommate whispered to you.

"you?" you proposed, raising a brow. "it's your iron, hm?"

she groaned, but nodded. "this should be good."

three firefighters hopped down from their massive rig, looking even more menacing in their heavy fireproof gear.

"hello, officers," your roommate began, stepping forward and away from you to speak. your shoulders shook in a laugh.

"they're not officers," you whispered to her.

"hello, gentlemen," she corrected. "i speak on behalf of our entire house when i say we appreciate your punctuality."

one of your housemates hung her head in her hands. another one groaned.

"i'm gonna go out on a limb here and say there is no real danger?" one of the firemen said, his tone steady.

your polysci friend nodded. "correct, sir. your services are no longer required."

the three men now stood just in front of you, allowing you to get a true look at them.

the one who had spoken was older, probably thirty five, shorter than his coworkers but obviously the chief. he continued to speak with your roommate about the situation as the rest of you watched on.

the next in line was taller, lankier, with a goofy face and a goofier presence. he appeared unsure of his limbs, how to keep them still.

when your gaze drifted to the third, however, your breath caught, that familiar but long-forgotten whirlwind in your stomach. your eyes drank him in greedily, the way a child gulps down a soda at a friend's house. so similar, someone in your mind whispered don't tell mom.

he was the tallest of the three, and the broadest, too, his chest a wide expanse, arms and legs practically tree-like in his canvas uniform. it was his face that really had you, though. he was beautiful in a way you had never seen before, in a surreal sort of way. the kind of face that saved you in a dream, that you tried to conjure when you woke up but never could.

sharp jaw, sharper nose, the kind of cheekbones you had seen before only in a museum. full, pink, upturned lips, downwards sloping eyes that made him appear drowsy, like the personification of a midday nap. cheeks made rosy by the cold. even under his helmet you could see his thick, dark hair, so soft-looking. that was it, you thought. he just looked so soft, even though he appeared to be made of stone.

his presence made you shiver, which was only deepened when you met his eyes, dark and clear, found them already looking at you.

something in your gaze made him smirk, made your stomach drop. you crossed your arms closer around yourself, suddenly insecure under his scrutiny.

you hated the not-knowing, wished you could see yourself from his eyes, from the outside, so that you may correct yourself, angle and present yourself in some better way.

but his eyes only sparked with danger, not disappointment. cold? he mouthed to you, so as not to interrupt the conversation. his mouth formed the words slowly, deliberately, deliciously.

yes, you thought, half stunned he was communicating with you, the cold is why i'm shivering. definitely not you. definitely not your eyes.

so you only nodded slowly, felt your eyes widen as he walked towards you, shrugging off his jacket.

you stood, frozen in place, as he held it out to you in one huge hand. he offered it to you, someone he didn't know, someone who he owed nothing to, someone from whom he knew he could possibly receive nothing in return. and yet he offered it to you, regardless.

he was so close to you, now, just a step away. you tilted your head up to look at him. "don't you need it?" you asked, willing any squeak out of your voice. surely he would realize his mistake soon, realize you weren't worth it.

his chest shook in a low laugh. "what i need is for you to not freeze," he said, his voice much deeper, rougher, than you could have imagined. "just take it, darling, yeah?"

something in your mind screamed what do you want? at him in a voice dreary with fear, raspy with experience and expectation. what's the catch?

had you met him before? surely he couldn't be this sweet to you upon just seeing you, upon not even knowing your name. had you lent him notes in one of your classes, maybe spotted him a drink at a bar? you searched for an explanation that never came.

but at that point you probably would have done anything he asked, which you knew was not good. which you knew was very, very dangerous.

which was bad, but true, so you shouldered his jacket on, found it almost oppressive in warmth. "thank you," you told him, little more then a whisper, letting your voice trail off like a question.

"arber," he finished for you.

"arber," you repeated, knowing as soon as the name died on your tongue your mouth would feel empty, would long to form the word again.

he didn't walk back to his former place, either, instead electing to stay just next to you. just close enough to make you feel almost faint. one of your housemates wolf-whistled. you imagined the image looked fairly comical, a massive oak tree of a fireman with an 80's mullet and mustache combo next to a university pre-dentistry junior in pajamas, swimming in his coat.

but you couldn't think too much about that as you gave him your name, tried to keep your eyes trained on his face. a tough task, considering the way his arms looked unobstructed by his jacket.

everything about him was distracting. your heart was racing. how were you going to be able to get back to sleep after this?

"well, ladies, i hope you've learned your lesson," the chief said, appearing to finish a speech you had missed entirely.

"sure have, officer," your roommate said stoically.

"not an officer, miss," he corrected. the shake in his head was telling, made your housemates snicker.

"apologies, sir," she finished, giving him a salute.

"sorry you guys had to come all the way out here," one of your other housemates said.

"no trouble at all," arber said, his first time speaking to everyone. he was looking only at you. melting you like snow in the morning.

"until next time," your roommate said with a little bow, turning to go back into the house, now silent.

"there won't be a next time, sweetness," you amended, forcing your gaze away from arber. she waved you off.

reluctantly, you made to shrug off arber's jacket, hand it back to him as the other two firemen got back into their truck, your housemates walking back inside, leaving just the two of you.

"sure you don't need it?" he asked, the roughness in his voice somehow gentle. his words coming out in exactly the shape of the hole in your chest.

you gave a light laugh. "think i'll survive the trek back," you said, referring to the several steps between you and the front door. "thanks again, arber."

"my pleasure, darling," he said, and your cheeks flushed at the term. this brutal cold, you thought, making my face pink.

his lips quirked in a way that made your stomach flip. a way that made you so suddenly sure he knew exactly what effect he had on you. exactly how little the cold had to do with it.

"well," you said, your hands laced behind you, your voice taking on a melodic sort of cadence. "i guess i'll see you around, hm?"

"hope so," he hummed, something amusing in his tone. something careful. "sweet dreams, darling."

"good night, arber," you answered, dazed and blushy. like saying goodnight to an old friend, to a middle school boyfriend, to someone who knew you too personally to be real.

but somehow, it was saying goodbye to someone whom you had known for only moments.

the truck pulled away, you shut the front door behind you.

"should i just leave my iron on 24/7?" your roommate asked immediately, not giving you a moment to catch your breath. "maybe throw some rocks in the microwave?"

you rolled your eyes at her. "oh, please," you said.

"don't worry," she finished, an impish smile on her pretty, round face. "i'll wait until you're in the shower, next time."

you playfully slapped her arm as you made your way back into your room, not bothering to stifle both of your giggles.

you went to sleep that night with mirages of dark brown eyes and corded shoulders in your head. you swore you could smell smoke, could feel flame, could sense danger.

the feeling stayed with you, settled like ash in your bones. a heat, a skepticism, a want, a worry. you halfway hoped you would never see him again, because when had one person ever had such an effect on you? when had you let them?

you halfway hoped you would never see him again, but as soon as you did see him again, you knew that hope had been a complete and utter lie.

it was only a few days later, in the middle of your serving shift at the pub close to campus. only a wednesday, so nothing too busy, just a regular shift. your regular black uniform, long braid down your back with black ribbon, everything the same as always.

and then he was in a booth, practically taking up the whole bench, his deep laugh at something one of his friends had said making you dizzy.

surely it's not him, you thought as you took out your guest check pad, it couldn't be him. how could you have gone twenty one years without seeing him once, then see him twice in a week?

what trickster god was toying with you, now?

and then you were standing in front of his table, and it couldn't be him, but it was. of course it was.

but you didn't know if he would recognize you without your pajamas on, couldn't fathom that he could have dreamed of you with the vigor you had him, so you went on, business as usual.

"hi, guys," you said, your customer service voice ringing through the air like a bell. muscle memory had you placing napkin coasters down in front of each person. "can i get some drinks started for you?"

you took the orders of the others before finally locking eyes with arber. it wasn't any easier than you remembered. it wasn't any cooler, didn't feel any less like being engulfed in flame. "and for you?" you asked, hating how you couldn't just admit to recognizing him. hating how your mind preferred crafting protective plans to just being honest.

but he upended you, as you should have perhaps expected. his smirk was subtle. "am i that forgettable, darling?" he asked, like it was just the two of you.

the answer was so obvious you could have rolled your eyes, but you just cleared your throat and choked on a laugh, happy to have an excuse to show your delight. the insecurity in your head sighed in relief.

"arber!" you exclaimed, clicking your pen nervously, "thought that was you."

he nodded towards your general figure. "good to see you warm," he said with that rough voice you could feel in your chest like a bullet.

you hummed. "good to see you," you said, not bothering to add a condition.

something he noticed, something that made him smile, therefore something so, so worth the risk. your grin overtook your face all at once, toothy and real.

it appeared to shock him as much as you, his expression suddenly one of wonder, of awe.

you cleared your throat again, rediscovered the other people at the table, went to get everyone's drinks and then ran their food orders to the kitchen.

and you tried not to dwell on the way his hand looked around a glass, like it was kid's toy in a play kitchen, tried not to zone out on his lips as they formed words, not to blush whenever he looked at you.

you only laughed, mumbled a thank you when he joking said this was the best service he had ever had.

when he asked how you day had been, you had just blushed, muttered something affirmative, tried not to drop the glass you were holding, hated how anyone's attention, never mind a man's, could render you so helpless.

it was a whole lot of trying, a whole lot of awareness and controlling your own limbs, your own reactions like a marionette puppet. this way, you guided your arms, lined with plates of food. that way, you led your legs. these words, no, not those ones. no, no blushing, no not like that.

your marionette puppet appeared defective in many ways, many frustrating ways.

it was the slowest shift of your life. you felt oh so tired by the time arber's table asked for the check, felt oh so embarrassed by how hard you had been trying all night, hated how it was impossible for you to hide your effort.

it was all over you. it was in the slight sheen of sweat on your upper lip, in the strands of hair that had come free from your braid, in the way your voice shook when he spoke to you, the wobble in your knees when your eyes met.

you were trying so devastatingly hard, and you knew he could see, that everyone could see. was it terrible, was it so naive of you to hope maybe he wouldn't mind? that maybe the effort would flatter him instead of scare him away?

when you came to give back the card and receipt, his friends had gone. it was only him, taking up all that space in the booth.

he smiled when he saw you. it was soft. he was soft, this marble man.

you placed the check on the table. "there you are," you said, threading your empty hands together behind your back, part of you scared their idleness would lead to reaching for him. "thanks for coming," you added, then physically cringed.

thanks for coming? what, like this was some party you'd thrown?

he laughed, low and gentle, at your expression. of course, he was laughing at you. how could he not, with how you were acting? your head dropped like it was full of bricks as you flushed, as hot shame began to pull at the edges of your face.

but then you felt him take your chin in one of his large, rough hands, tilt your head back up high to meet his gaze. there was nothing but softness in his hands, in his eyes. no judgement, nothing of the sort.

his touch felt like drowning in flame, even in this small dosage, and you knew immediately it was too dangerously good. you swallowed.

when was the last time someone had touched you like this and you hadn't secretly wished they would only just leave you alone?

"thanks for inviting me," he said, playing along with your words so mercifully. "think maybe you'll have me again?"

you nodded, couldn't stop your shy smile. "maybe," you said, your voice a breath.

too soon, his hand was gone, leaving your face cold, lacking.

"can i tell you something?" you asked, quiet and hopeful.

"'course," he said, like he would never deny you such a request.

"i sort of feel like i've met you before," you said.

"i don't know," arber said thoughtfully, "think i'd remember someone like you."

your mouth ticked. "someone like me?"

he tilted his head, just looked at you for a moment, his gaze comfortable in its greed, its genuine appreciation. "why do you think we've met?"

you shook your head. "something about you," you said, trying to figure it out yourself. like i dreamed you up, you thought, are you real? are you sure?

his smile was subtle. "hope it's something good, eh? something like you?" too soon, he was signing his receipt, and then he was up, walking towards the door, to his waiting friends. "sweet dreams, darling," he said, like there was no one else in the pub, in this universe.

if he had told you as much, you would have believed him.

after a moment to catch your breath, you took the receipt from the table, found not only a generous tip but a phone number and a child-like scrawl that read coffee?

your head bowed in delight. when was the last time someone had asked you out? had not texted you deep into the night, at the time when the parties were ending and something much more terrifying was just beginning?

when was the last time you were nervous for a date, but the innocent kind of nervous?

you were that innocent kind of nervous when you approached the agreed-upon coffee shop several days later, at the middle of the day, between your classes.

there he was, standing in front of the cafe, hard to miss in stature and presence.

you had spent a scary amount of time deciding what to wear, eventually landing on what you wore everyday. you gave him a timid wave, were met with a confident wave back.

do i shake his hand? you thought. no, i've worn his jacket. maybe a high five?

your overthinking was quickly overwhelmed by the realization that he was pulling you in close for a hug.

you froze for a moment, your mind short-circuiting, your body uneasy, unused to such casual gentleness, ease.

your head against his chest, his arms all the way around you, you probably could have passed out. your mind mumbled something about cardiac arrest as you slowly hugged him back.

he smelled like the forest, like dull smoke and wooden fog.

"swear you get prettier every time i see you, darling," he said as you both pulled away, his eyes full of sweetness.

you had to close your eyes as you breathed out a laugh, already turning pink. "you sure know how to embarrass me," you said, teasing, trying to recover.

he held the door open for you as you both entered the cafe. "it's too tempting," he argued, smiling. "that blush you get..." he trailed off as if lost in his mind. sparks, smoke, flame, ash.

you knew the feeling.

he ordered some kind of sugar-bomb, practically a coffee milkshake, you ordered your usual flat white with soy milk.

and you were out of practice when it came to first dates, but it didn't seem to matter. he didn't seem to notice the pauses you took to think about your words, or if he did, he didn't say anything.

you learned that he was on the hockey team, that he was a volunteer fire-fighter for the school, about where he was from and his family.

he asked about your family, about your studies, about your job, what you did for fun.

and when you told him how much you loved your pre-dentistry classes, he made a joke and popped his fake tooth in and out, which made your laugh come so easy.

you told him how much you looked forward to seeing your sister, how funny your shift the day before had been, how much you loved your house's movie nights.

he asked about you, and it dawned on you that your last boyfriend had never truly asked you simple questions like that, and he certainly had never cared about the answers.

you had sudden flashbacks, you and your ex in bed, you asking him about his week, him giving you some dismissive response as if you had asked him if you could take out some of his teeth sans anesthesia.

how, towards the end, it had felt as if you were engaged in some kind of corrupt exchange, sex for tolerance of your curiosity, sex for tolerance of you.

the memory sent a shiver down your spine, a wave of shame. you could not go through that again. you refused to put yourself through that again.

through the relentless begging for something, for attention? no, begging to be treated like a person? like a girlfriend? begging for him to just be a little more gentle. yes, that's it. you had gone months feeling like nothing but a burdensome bag of stones he had reluctantly agreed to carry around, and you refused to feel that way again.

you just wanted gentle. you just wanted soft, and when arber waved a hand in front of your face to break you from your trance, you realized it might not be crazy to think you were close.

"you okay, darling?" he asked, concern lacing his expression. "lost you, hm?"

"'m okay," you said, shaking your head. "sorry, just thinking."

"'bout what?" he asked.

your heart jumped at the intimacy of being asked such. of someone wanting to know what was going on in your head.

so, you decided to be honest, to an extent. "'bout how 'm very happy to be here, with you," you said, looking him in the eye. feeling no desire to look away.

his face was so utterly pleased. he looked so beautiful then, the sun drenching the side of his face, lighting him up. "makin' me blush, now, darling," he said, and his tone made you swoon.

"sorry," you said, an instinct that made you want to smack yourself.

"don't apologize," he said immediately, "i know i'll get you back."

talking with him felt just so easy that you were again struck with a disbelief that you had only known him for a few days, had only spoken with him a couple of times. you felt like he was inside of your head, like he always had been. something you had never felt before, something that had you saying yes much too quickly when he asked if you wanted to come skating with him that weekend.

you had never skated before, but you were sure if he had asked you to watch paint dry, you would have said yes, because it would have been with him.

but the rational part of your brain was currently overwhelmed by fear, by insecurity, by the terror that you would lose this great thing before you had ever really had it.

"what was i thinking?" you said to your roommate as you struggled to find something to wear. "i have no idea how to skate! i'm going to look like an idiot!"

she waved you off. "you won't, you know you won't. deep breath."

you both took a breath together, tried to exhale some of your nerves.

the quiet that followed felt like another friend. you sighed, sat down on the edge of your bed, held your head in your hands.

"i can't keep thinking like this," you said to her and yourself. "i can't be so fucking scared all the time."

"c'mon, love," she said, sitting next to you and holding you tight. "what will feel better, do you think? coming home after avoiding rejection, walls intact?" she squeezed you. "or maybe coming home with another person to lean on?"

you both knew the answer. you wanted so badly to act accordingly, hoped your overactive mind would let you.

so, when you showed up at the rink, you made the ittiest-bittiest promise to yourself that you wouldn't let your fear get in the way.

if only you knew he would never have let you. that he could never be so easily scared.

he greeted you with a hug once again, and you held him tighter than you had the first time. "thanks for coming," he said, a spark of a shared inside joke in his eye.

"thanks for having me," you replied immediately, a mirroring smile on your face. "'m gonna be honest with you-"

"please do," he said immediately, and you could have melted.

"i have no idea how to skate," you rushed, "so i'm going to be very slow and probably fall and it's probably gonna get ugly."

he let you finish, an amused sort of smirk overtaking his mouth.

"what's so funny?" you asked, furrowing your brow.

"i think you're funny," he said, simply.

you scrunched up your face. "you makin' fun of me, arber?"

he laughed, then, low and rough and grumbly as he reached his hands around you and settled them on the small of your back. "oh, pretty baby, promise 'm not, yeah?"

you pouted, but rested your palms on his chest nonetheless.

his gaze cut through you. "don't expect you to be good at everything, okay? i'll help you," he explained. "just think it's funny you think anything you do could be ugly. imperfect isn't ugly."

"i'll prove you wrong," you said immediately, although you were flushed already, could feel yourself soften, your walls crumble just a bit.

his shoulders shook again. "promise you'll stick around long enough to?"

you had nothing to say to that. what could you ever say?

and then you were out on the ice, more off-balance than you had ever been, and not just because of the skates.

he held your gloved hands in his, tight but not restrictive, keeping his eyes on yours. you willed some of the steadiness in his gaze into your body, found stability in him and let it flow into you like water. he was basically pulling you, but you were moving, and you weren't falling, so you took it as a win.

"'atta girl," he said when you made a turn, soft, proud, and you could have laughed. surely he knew what he was doing, no?

your eyes darted up to his, found a lazy smirk, found your answer.

you shook your head, continued to push with your legs, gaining confidence, gaining balance. "turn off the dream boy for a second, would you?" his smirk deepened. "'m tryna focus, here."

"my fault, darling," he said, false apology saturating his voice as he suddenly dropped your hands. "by all means."

you stumbled forward into him immediately, your body unused to the ice without him to ground you.

you narrowed your eyes at him, looking up at his face, your palms against his chest, his arms around your waist. "not funny," you said, giving him a playful slap. "i could have broken something."

he shot you a look. "you honestly think i'd let that happen?"

your gaze dropped for a second. "no," you sighed. "no, i don't." a revelation in itself.

he pulled you closer, pressed his lips to your hair in a kiss that singed. so quick, you could have missed it. maybe you would have, if you hadn't been so unconditionally in tune to him, to everything he did, to every breath that shook his chest, to every quirk of his mouth and glint of his eye.

your heart sang at the affection you had been so lacking, had somehow missed even though you had never really had it.

so, of course it was a no-brainer when he asked you to come to his next home game.

"i'd really like if you were there," he said as he untied your skates for you, bent on one knee in front of you.

"then i'll be there," you said, flushed, because it was the easiest answer you had ever given. when he gave you that big smile in return, so genuine and goofy, you knew you would have a hard time saying no to anything he asked. just keep smiling at me, your mind begged him. that's all i ask.

the game came quickly, suddenly, after a busy week of shifts and school and everyday things. before you knew it, the day was here, and then you were in the stands, watching him skate like it was second nature, like it came easier than walking.

you had been able to tell at your rink date that he was steady on his feet, but this was different entirely. this was like seeing him at home, like watching him fall asleep.

and it beautiful, it was lovely, it was so intimate until two players started to fight and you realized one of them was him.

one of the people throwing punches that looked lethal, taking fists to the ribs, to the jaw, one of the people with a bleeding nose, a gashed lip, one of the people with blood running down his knuckles - that was your arber. your dream boy.

it wasn't, but it was you - you were the one throwing the right hook, you were the one doubled over, you were the one spitting out blood. you were equally the one punching and being punched. you had set the flame, you were burning.

was it terrible that you felt a little sick to your stomach? you clutched at the edge of your seat, exhaled a short breath, immediately decided you would rather leave than watch blood run down his face on the jumbotron.

as you left the arena, got into your car, drove back to your house, someone in your head was screaming at you, someone with a shrill, panicked voice was screamed scared, scared, scared, scared, scared and you didn't know how to get them to stop.

why are we running? you asked the voice in your head, what are we so afraid of?

what are you so afraid of?

because it wasn't him, you explained to your roommate at some later time, maybe the next day, after the desire to bathe in silence had been overcome by the desire to tell just about anyone.

you were not afraid of arber, knew there had never been anyone in the world more gentle with you. no, there had never been someone who had treasured your heart so truly, who had wanted to understand you to an almost scientific extent, who had dropped into your life like an asteroid and blown it apart just as similarly.

if not him, then what is there to fear?

what is there to fear, if not placing your beat-up heart in his bloodied hands? what is there to fear, if not the desire to press your lips to each of his cracked knuckles, the urge to know him to the point of no return, the want to feel his teeth on your neck, his fingers in your mouth?

sirens went off in your mind. scared, scared, scared.

scared of you, yourself, of offering yourself up to him, to being devastated by him. scared of being so completely vulnerable, of taking all your armor off, finally.

in the end, you were terrified of how scared seeing him hurt made you, because that meant you cared much more than you thought, perhaps much more than you had ever before.

how come no one told you that as much as being scared for yourself hurt, being scared for someone else, that was real fear, pure and undiluted.

a fear captivating enough that you decided to just not deal with it for days, to ignore his texts even though it hurt like a dagger to the chest.

he'll lose interest eventually, you thought, he'll leave me alone eventually. then, finally, i won't have to be scared.

so why did that admission feel like being burned at the stake? why was some small part of you screaming at you to stop?

regardless, you held fast for three days.

and then your roommate put rocks in the microwave.

so you and your housemates stood in the front yard, the air deja-vu-inspiringly cold, the situation almost exactly the same as that first night.

"what's wrong with you?" you whispered-yelled at her. "how do you accidentally almost blow up our house?"

she waved you off, pouted for a moment. "you know how forgetful i get."

"yeah, i don't know if forgetful is the adequate descriptor here," one of the other girls said. "i have a few more specific words in mind."

"oh, come on," you roommate said to the group as the fire truck siren began to yet again overwhelm the smoke alarm. "god forbid a girl make a mistake around here."

you didn't hear the rest of the bickering, too busy sending up a silent prayer, begging some god, any god to listen. please, don't be him. please, if there is anything good in this world, it won't be him.

but, of course, as soon as you saw the massive figure climb down from the truck, you paled.

there might not be anything good, some voice told you then, but perhaps there is something right.

"long time no see, ladies," the same older fireman said, and that was the last thing you heard. the last thing that any of your senses consumed before all of them were so brutally and totally overwhelmed by arber.

because what was he, if not overwhelming? especially now, after having deprived yourself of him for days? how had you managed that?

seeing him here, in front of you, you had no idea.

because he was here, in front of you, this beautiful oaken man, and his hair was messy under his helmet, and his face was flushed from the cold, and his five-o'clock shadow made his jaw sharper, and you could feel his warmth from here.

because he was here, walking to you, right in front of you, dropping his giant jacket onto your shoulders silently, somehow, somehow he was still that kind, and then he was whispering to you.

"alive, are you?" he murmured, as if he almost couldn't believe it.

and you felt so selfish then, the guilt growing like poison ivy in your veins, up your throat, until you couldn't open your mouth for fear that only three-pronged leaves would come out.

you looked up at him, met his eyes, found them burning but unreadable.

a pause that felt infinite deflated as you struggled for words. "listen, arber-"

but he shook his head, almost looked sorry. "don't think i will, darling," he whispered, the name making your stomach sink. someone screamed in your head. "don't care much for hearing why 'm not worth a phone call."

you were shaking your head before he even finished. "no, no, arber, please, that's not it-" your voice was so close to cracking, splitting apart like brittle wood.

"what is it, then?" he said, and you noticed a quiver in his voice too, a warning, "because i've been trying to come up with something for days, and every option i've got hurts."

oh, good god, you had made him hurt? that alone was dizzying.

dizzying and so, so sobering, enough for you to mutter something aloud about arber helping you turn the smoke alarms off, pull him into your house, up into your room.

you barely noticed the alarms subsiding, him hitting all of the necessary buttons wordlessly on his way up the stairs.

and then he was in your room, and you two were alone, and he was sitting on the edge of your bed, taking his helmet and boots off, crossing his arms across his chest.

"by all means," he prompted. "tell me i'm crazy, darling, please, please tell me i've got something wrong."

you took a breath, set the marionette puppets strings down, finally. there was no leading your limbs anywhere, no running words over one million time in your head until you had the right ones.

it was finally time to set aside the fear, to unfurl your forever clenched fists.

your exhale was liberating as you approached him, not touching him, not yet, but close enough so that you could see his eyes, so that he could see the revelation in yours.

"you're not crazy," you said, the softness in your voice surprising you. "i've been trying so, so hard to make you think i don't care."

he scoffed, ran a hand through his messy hair, mercifully waited for you to finish.

"and i'm so, so sorry that i didn't call, and that i left during your game, and that i treated you like you were anything but special, arber."

he looked up at you then, and you saw a soft spark of hope in his eyes that spurred you on.

it was silent for a beat, and then he reached for your hand, held it in his grip, warm and consuming.

"i thought i scared you away," he said, vulnerable, completely honest.

you squeezed his hand, stepped closer, cupped his jaw in your other palm. "i was afraid," you admitted, and that alone felt like salvation. "but not of you." you swiped at his cheekbone with your thumb. "never of you."

with a single swift motion he tugged you onto his lap, both of his hand on your hips. there might not be anything good, that voice whispered like a gossipy teen, but perhaps there is something right. perhaps this is it.

"tell me," he said, not an order but a request.

you would have told him anything, then, as you reached up to loop one arm around his neck, use the other hand to twist one of his curls around your finger. "i hated seeing you hurt," you confessed, moving your fingers down to trace lightly over the greenish bruise next to his eye, the healing gash on his lip. "you give me so much more to lose, baby."

he was silent, still, so close you could feel his shaky exhales on your hand. you willed yourself to finish your thoughts, refused to leave him anything but completely certain, even if it was hard to focus with him under you, against you, all around you. even under the exceptional spotlight of his undivided attention.

"i was lying when i acted like i didn't want you," you said, your tone every bit as ultimate as you felt. "and i understand if you don't forgive me, and i won't hold it against you, but i promise i won't lie to you again, okay?"

you held his face like it was made of glass. his grip on your hips tightened, eyes bursting further into flame.

"let me convince you," you pleaded, willing every genuine thing from your bones into your words. "you have to believe me, baby, i care so, so much. a scary amount."

and something in you sighed, swooned, when you saw that amusement you had missed creep back into his gaze like a fog on the ocean.

his thumbs rubbed circles into the flesh of your hips as you relaxed further into him. "scary, hm?"

you nodded, peered up at him through your lashes.

"how about this, darling?" he offered, voice a tired rasp. "i'll believe you if you do one thing for me, yeah?"

"anything," you said, meaning it more completely than anything before.

the glint in his eye was dangerous as his grip turned firmer. he gave a hum of approval. "tell me something true."

after trying just so deliriously, terrifyingly hard for so long, nothing had ever come easier. with him, now, the truth was easy as breathing. "i want you," you breathed, running your nails lightly down his neck, relishing in his stifled groan. "so, so bad, arber. need you, please." your chest rose and fell in a hurried breath. had you ever been so free of fear? so buoyant with hope, with courage?

he hoisted you up on his lap, pulled you against his chest until it felt as if there was barely enough air to share between the two of you. "good girl," he said, a rough, low, rasp, and he caught your whimper in his teeth as your lips met his.

his kiss felt like molten iron, like forest fire smoke, like initials carved into a heart on an ancient oak tree. he felt like sun on your face and like drowning, drowning, drowning, this kind of torture one you would happily submit to over and over again.

you tangled your hands in his hair as he groaned into your mouth, pulling you up on his lap until you could feel him, so big and hard under you that you let out a gasp.

he smiled against your lips at your reaction, and you knew there would never be anything so glutted with bliss.

you kissed him harder, with the urgency of a thousand missed chances as he rocked you back and forth across his lap, slipping his hands under the waistband of your sleep shorts, his hands now scorching your bare skin.

"look so good in my jacket, darling," he rasped, "let me take it off, hm? want to see you."

you shrugged it off in obedience, placed both your hands on his chest and looked him in the eye, pleading.

one of his hands brushed your hair away from your face, gentle, soft, as you had always known him to be. he dragged his thumb down to your swollen lip, let it rest there for a moment.

"'f you want something, just ask," he grumbled, transfixed by your mouth. "know i'll give you anything you want 'f you ask for it, darling."

you pulled at his shirt, willed any oncoming flush or fear away. "please can i suck you off, arber?"

his smirk was devastating, delicious. "pretty baby wants me in her mouth?"

you nodded, a shy smile gracing your lips.

"course you can, darling, askin' so pretty for me, too."

you glowed at his praise, sunk down to your knees, admired him as he pulled away at his layers of clothes until finally you could reach for him, hold him in your hand, hot and heavy and just so big, so much so that you couldn't help your eyes widening, your mouth watering.

he groaned at your touch, tilted his head back and scrunched his eyes shut at the sensation of your soft palms on his cock.

you hid your grin, spit into your hands and pumped him up and down a few times before taking him in your mouth, making him moan, almost growl as he gathered all of your hair, wrapped it around his fist, the other hand bracing him against your bed.

"fuck, darling," he rasped, watching you bob your head up and down, "feels so good, so good for me, hm?"

you would have nodded, but instead you were overcome with a desire to take more of him, as much as you could. so you sunk your head down further, until your eyes watered, until air came in short spurts, until you gagged, felt him grow impossibly harder in your mouth.

he gripped your hair tighter, making you moan on his cock. "oh, darling, you want more, hm?"

you hummed, looked up at him through watery lashes, reddening eyes.

"want to take it all, do you?" he asked, "just want me to feel good, is that it?"

you moaned in affirmation, sunk your head down on him again, as far as you could go, relished in his groan, the way his thighs tensed, the way his forearms flexed.

already, your jaw was growing stiff, your shoulders strained, your knees warm from the carpet. too soon, though, he was pulling you up off of him, up from your knees back on top of him, wiping the spit from the sides of your mouth with his thumb, pressing a gentle kiss to your tired lips.

you pouted, wanting more still, and his shoulders shook in a low laugh. "not done, darling?"

you shook your head, ran your nails across his shoulders, down to his biceps, loved the way you could feel shivers erupt under your fingertips.

"i'll give it to you if you ask," he reminded you, simply, because of course it was that simple, that gentle.

you pressed your lips to his chest, his neck, his jaw, bit down softly on his collarbone. "please fuck me," you begged against his skin, "been wanting it forever, arber, need you to fuck me, need you to stretch me out."

in a moment he flipped you so that your hips were angled up to him, your chest against your bed, your cheek to your sheets.

"been waiting, have you, darling?"

you whined, nodded.

"no more waiting," he said, running his fingers through your folds, already so wet, "promise, no more waiting, pretty baby, okay?"

"please," you mustered, the end of the word becoming strangled as he began to push into you. it was altogether too much - every possible voice inside of you screaming too much and not enough in some cacophonous harmony.

his groan was raw, full of relief, release, confirmation. he held onto your hip tightly with one hand, the other wrapping around your stomach to keep you grounded, keep you here as you felt like you were floating away.

the pressure was dizzying, staggering, enough that your breathing was choked, your mind completely clouded, your already watery eyes just barely holding back tears.

you reached a hand back to grasp at his forearm as he pushed further, almost all the way inside of you. you whimpered as the stretch reached a peak, as he stilled, making the stray, warm tears finally fall down your cheeks, hang on your jaw before collecting on the sheets under you.

"so pretty when you cry, darling," he breathed, tight and short as you adjusted to him, and he to you.

"please, arber, just move, hm?" you pleaded. "need it, please."

his embrace around your middle tightened as he began to move in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace, almost undetectable.

"so whiny, hm?" he bit out. "pretty baby knows what she wants?"

you nodded feverishly. "just give it to me, baby, please, just let me take it."

"don't know if you can," he said, and you pouted. "don't want to hurt you, hm?"

you clutched at his forearm, began to fuck back onto him, determined to get the motion and pace you needed so desperately.

"want it to hurt, arber, please, please give me all of it," you spoke with all of the greed of a sinner seeking salvation. "need all of it."

he abandoned any qualms about hurting you, immediately adopting a brutal pace, so hard and deep you swore your teeth began to chatter. you bit out a choked moan, grabbed at your sheets with your fist, scrunched your eyes shut at the pressure building inside of you.

his grunts grew rhythmic in time with his thrusts. "feel so good, know that, darling?" he rasped. "being so fuckin' perfect for me."

you hummed in response, gasped when he ran a hand across your clit, making you clench tighter around him.

he cursed at the sensation, continued to tease you as he thrusted deeper.

"like that," you breathed, growing dangerously close, "fuck, just like that baby, right there."

"gonna make me cum, darling," he warned, pressing his palm flat against your clit, the friction maddening. "feel too good."

"please cum for me, baby," you begged, your voice raw, "need it so bad, arber, need all of you." you moaned. "fuck, give me all of it."

he groaned as he came, triggering your own orgasm, an overwhelming wave of pleasure that consumed you utterly and entirely. you felt him collapse on top of you, barely registered him pulling you into his side as you both caught your breath in comfortable silence.

moments passed slowly, thick like aged honey, fragrant, sweet.

he lazily traced his thumb across your cheekbone, down your jaw, your collarbone. eventually, you looked up at him, found his eyes full of something homely.

you thought briefly about how you looked in that moment, what he was seeing - spit on your face, skin probably splotchy and red in places from wear, hair fussed and skin sparkling with sweat.

notably, though, the thought evoked no fear, not even for a moment. because you were beautiful like this, like always.

you exhaled a breath, soft, gentle, and buried some ancient curse with it.

the silence was blissful. eventually you heard loud footsteps on the wooden hallway steps, eye widening as you realized there were other people that lived in this house, in this room.

you pressed a hand to his chest to prepare him. "sweetness!" you called out. "do not come in here!"

"why?" came your roommate's voice through the door. "is there a fire?"

you exchanged a look with arber.

"kidding!" she added, her voice growing more distant. "i'll be in the kitchen. big guy, chief left without you!"

your shoulders shook in a pleased, peaceful laugh. he smiled at you, then, a warm, soft smile with teeth, and what was there left to do but smile right back? "what'm i supposed to do, darling?" he asked.

you got up, slowly, reluctantly, tied your robe from the bathroom around yourself, handed him his clothes. "c'mon," you said, "i'll show you the kitchen."

he leaned forward, pressed a soft kiss to your lips before tugging on his clothes, grabbing his helmet.

i'll show you everything went unsaid by you, but not misunderstood by him.

he held your bedroom door open, holding your gaze with a goofy grin. "after you," he rasped.

you bowed past him and wordlessly told the picture frames in the hallway to behave, we have guests.

fin.

523 notes · View notes

uluvjay · 6 months

Text

Family- C. Caufield

Dad Cole Caufield! x mom reader! x daughter!

Summary; The journey of your and Cole’s family

Warnings?; FLUFF, hints to sex, kissing, cursing, pregnancy, mentions of labor, emotions, can’t think of anymore

All credit for this idea to my bby @turcott3

Part of my 1k celly:)

July 2021

Cole stood with Trevor watching you play beer pong with Alex and Jack, a smile bright on his face knowing how well you got along with his best friends.

The two of you had grown up together, both committing to Wisconsin together and both planning a full time move to Montreal this upcoming fall, for Cole to play his first full nhl season and you to being your career in interior design.

“Dude Just ask her out already, the way you two stare at each other is creepy” Trevor laughed beside him.

“We don’t stare at each other!” Cole defended, “I’m just watching her and Alex destroy Jack” he shrugged.

“Dude you two need to give it up already and just admit your feelings, or at least fuck. She’s a dime, and if you don’t swoop her up someone else will” the New York native spoke as he downed the rest of his beer and left his friend alone.

Cole didn’t want to admit his friend was right but sadly he was. He’d always felt something for you, he wasn’t really sure what exactly her felt but he’d always found himself being drawn to you.

Not to mention the way you stood by his side through everything, the way you cried into his shoulder when he was drafted, stood by his side and cried again when he won the Hobey Baker award; Twice. How you talked his anxiety away before his first nhl game and comforted him when the habs lost the cup final.

You were always there for him and he was forever grateful to have someone as amazing as you in his life.

He was taken out of his thoughts at the sight of your bubbly frame making your way towards him with a beaming smile on your face.

“You kick his ass?” He laughed as your arms wrapped around him, his hand that wasn’t holding his drink wrapping around your waist to pull you into his side.

“Annihilated Him” you smirked before cuddling even more into his side.

A blush tinting your cheeks at the feeling of his lips pressing against your head and the way his hand ran up and down your back.

Cole smirked at the shudder that ran down your body at his touch, he always noticed how you always got goosebumps when he was touching you.

“Wanna come get a some snacks with me?” He asked into your hair.

“Sure” you smiled and followed him inside the house.

You took a seat on the counter while Cole scattered through the fridge and cabinets looking for food, “what sounds good to you?” He asked, back facing you.

You weren’t sure if it was the small amount of alcohol in your system or the severe amount of built up sexual tension between the two of you that made you say it but it came out either way.

“You” you spoke causing the blonde boy to turn around quickly.

“What?” He asked making sure he heard you correctly.

“You heard me Cole, I want you” you extended a leg out to wrap around his hip and pull him forward.

“Are you sure? This could mess things up between us if it doesn’t work out” He attempted to be the voice of reason even though he was slotting himself between your thighs.

“I’m positive Cole” you assured before pulling the boy in for a deep kiss.

August 2021

Something was up, you had been sick all week and you couldn’t take it anymore. All the guys besides Alex had gone out to golf, having a late night before hand the Kings player decided to stay in.

“Why don’t we run to urgent Care? You could have a real bad case of food poisoning and you and Cole are supposed to leave in three days” He tried.

“Okay fine, let me get ready” you spoke finally agreeing with the boy who had been pushing you to go to the doctors after three days of consistent puking.

You were sat in the room with Alex in the chair next to you, they had wrote all of your symptoms down and had taken blood and urine samples.

“This is taking forever” you grumbled, a hand subconsciously rubbing over your stomach.

“I’m sure it won’t be much longer” the curly haired boy beside you spoke.

Just as you were about to issue another complaint the door opened and the doctor came in with a worried expression on her face.

“So I have some news sweetheart and I’m not really sure if it’s good or bad” she smiled sympathetically causing your stomach to drop.

You and Alex shared a quick look before you asked her to continue.

“You’re five weeks pregnant” she said.

You felt like your world stopped spinning for a moment, Pregnant? There was no way you were pregnant.

“No I’m sorry, it has to be a false negative” you laughed in disbelief.

“Honey your blood and urine test came back positive” she added.

“But I haven’t had any unprotec-“ yes you did, with Cole. Five weeks ago.

“Oh no” you cried, dropping your head into your hands.

“I’m assuming this wasn’t what you wanted to hear, uh are you the father?” She asked pointing to Alex

“Uh no, best friend” he awkwardly smiled in reply.

“Baby-daddy is out golfing” you cried, feeling like a train of emotions hit you at once.

“What? Oh-oh shit” Alex spoke as he finally connected all the dots, you and Cole disappearing that July night and you walking out of his room the next morning with disheveled hair and a limp.

After getting a talk through of the calls and appointments you needed to make the doctor let you leave with some paperwork and a copy of your test results.

“What am I gonna do Alex? There’s no way he wants a baby right now! He’s about to start his first season in the NHL” you cried out to the boy in the drivers seat.

“Hey calm down, I’m sure if you guys talk it out everything will be okay” he smiled reassuringly and patted your knee.

Returning home you found Cole and Jacks cars in the driveway meaning everyone was home.

“Relax, it’s going to be okay” Alex spoke up sensing your anxiety.

You nodded with a smile as you both made your way into the house, hearing everyone in the kitchen.

“Hey we were wondering where you to went” Jack spoke as he watched you both enter.

“Finally convinced someone to go to a doctor” Alex laughed in attempt to get the boys off your back so you could find Cole.

“Uh do you guys know where Cole is?” You asked.

“His room” Trevor replied, he knew something was wrong he could see it on your face and in your eyes.

Mumbling a thank you, you made your way up to the Centers bedroom knocking before entering.

“Hey, everything okay? We came back and you guys were gone” he smiled pulling you into his side from where he stood.

“Um, We need to talk. And you might want to sit down” you mumbled.

“Okay..” he said as he sat at the edge of the bed, you standing in front of him.

“So we went to urgent care to see what was going on and it’s not food poisoning” you began.

“Oh that’s great, what did they say you sicknesses is from then?” Cole smiled happy that you weren’t sick.

“I-uh, I’m five weeks pregnant Cole”

You could see the boy physically pale at the words that dropped from your mouth, his smile had dropped and he looked at you like a deer in headlights.

“I-your what?” He stuttered out in disbelief.

“Pregnant” you whispered.

“Okay” he nodded

“Okay? You’re just perfectly fine with this?” You panicked.

“No, I mean I’m fucking terrified but this is our fault. Our parents taught us what protection is and we chose not to use it. But if this isn’t what you want I won’t be bad, I understand” he softly spoke as he stood up and wrapped you in a hug.

“I’m so scared Cole” you finally broke down.

“Me to but we got this, I promise I will never let you or this baby down” he promised into your ear.

November 2021

“Do we have any ice cream left?” You asked looking over at Cole as he sat on the sectional next to you.

“No I gave you the rest last night” he replied

“Can we go to the store?” You smiled up at the man.

“Y/n it’s midnight” he laughed.

“It’s for the baby though! She wants it not me” you pouted.

You two had found the gender a few weeks ago and Cole was beyond excited to be having a baby girl.

“Come on please! I’ll even drive” you offered, doing your best to get the boy to agree with you.

“Fine” he sighed but a smile still covered his face.

“Yay! Come on” you squealed jumping up and heading to the door and sliding on your crocs and grabbing your car keys.

Cole followed behind you slipping on his own shoes, following closely behind you towards the elevator. He smiled at your little dance as you skipped in pure excitement at the thought of getting ice cream.

You sported one of his Wisconsin hoodies, leggings, and your fuzzy crocs-the boy truly thought you’d never looked better.

The ride to the twenty-four hour grocery wasn’t long and you made it there quickly.

“What flavor are you thinking?” He asked as you stood in front of the ice cream section, a look of pure concentration on your face.

“I don’t know, trying to get the baby to send me signals” you groaned knowing it had to hit just right to satisfy the craving.

He laughed, “okay well I’m gonna go grab some chicken while you and our girl pick your flavor” he he smiled softly at your small okay.

Finally after ten minutes you settled on cotton candy and made your way to the meat section to find Cole.

However your happy mood suddenly dropped when you seen what had been taking the boy so long, pretty little brunette.

She stood clad in an outfit not much different then yours, a beautiful smile beaming up at Cole as she made him laugh with something she said-His smile mirroring hers.

You really didn’t have a right to be jealous, you and Cole had both felt that a relationship wouldn’t work between the two of you and that doing this as best friends would be better. But for some reason you couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling in your lower stomach.

Sensing eyes on him Cole turned to find you in a staring contest with the ground, obviously stuck in your thoughts.

The girl had followed his eyes to where you stood, body being swallowed by a hoodie that obviously didn’t belong to you.

“Oh I didn’t know you had a girlfriend” she mumbled stepping back a bit.

“She’s not-it’s complicated” he mumbled.

“On and off again complicated Or?” She asked trying to get him to continue.

“We’re best friends but we did some stuff that ended us in a sticky situation, and now I’m not really sure what we are” he did his best not wanted to expose his entire private life to a stranger.

“Ahh” she nodded before continuing, “well if it’s not a problem with you, I’d like to give you my number” she blushed.

“Yeah sure” he blushed back and handed his phone over.

November 2021

“Do I look okay?” He questioned stepping out of his room dressed in a nice sweater and jeans.

“You look great” you smiled at the boy.

Cole had began talking to the girl from the grocery store-Sophia was her name, and tonight they had a date.

He nodded in thanks before gathering his things and turning back to you, “You sure you’ll be okay while I’m gone?” He asked

“Yeah, me and Emma are going to grab some pizza and maybe a movie, I’ll be good” you smiled at the boy.

“Okay just call me I-Oh!” He stoped himself and ran back over to you.

“What’s wrong?” You asked with worry at his sudden move.

He ignored you and just leaned down to pull your shirt up over your bump and placed a kiss to the center of your belly.

“Bye sweet girl, be good for mommy” he whispered and placed two more quick kisses to the same spot.

“Had to tell her bye” he shrugged before placing a kiss to your head and heading out the front door.

When Cole returned home that night he found you bundled up and fast asleep on the couch, his heart warmed at the sight. He loved coming home to you and he always would, especially once your baby got here.

Scooping you up in his arms bridal style he carried you to your bedroom, his lips parted in a bright smile at the feeling of you cuddling into his chest.

“God I love you” he whispered to himself as he laid you down and watched you snuggle into your pillow.

Cole wasn’t sure what it was that made him do it but next thing he knew he was opening his phone to text Sophia, thanking her for tonight but that he wasn’t really feeling a relationship; it was a shitty lie but he knew the only girls he’d want in his arms were you and your daughter.

March 2022

“You look beautiful” a voice spoke from behind you causing you to jump.

“Christ Cole! You scared the shit out of me” you groaned as you turned around to face the blonde.

“I’m Sorry. But seriously you look gorgeous, stop judging yourself” he scolded you.

“I just feel fat! Nothing fits and my feet hurt” you cried.

It was the morning of your baby shower and all the dresses you had picked didn’t seem to fit anymore causing you to rip through your closet like a mad woman.

“You are not fat, you’re growing our gorgeous baby girl in there” he softly spoke as he made his way towards you.

He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you while his hands rubbed your belly, smiling as he felt his daughter kick him.

“You look absolutely stunning Y/n, and I love this dress” he complimented.

“Thank you but you’re not really helping” you groaned, head leaning back to rest against his chest.

“Yeah why not?”

“Because I’m an overly hormonal pregnant woman and you just turned me on when both of our families are down the hall”

April 2022

“Oh my god Cole she’s perfect” You whispered to the man who was still clad in his dress pants, button up and suit jacket long discarded due to wanting skin to skin with his daughter.

You had gone into Labor right as the Habs were exiting the plane from their short trip to Ottawa meaning cole rushed in right from the airport, not having time to change out of his suit.

“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen” he spoke in a soft voice, tears brimming his eyes as he continued to star at his daughter.

“I can’t believe we made that” you laughed

“Thank you” he suddenly said as he turned to face you, face as serious as ever.

“For what?”

“For giving me a family. I’ve never seen myself settling down or having a child but you’ve blessed me with the most beautiful thing in the world. I truly can’t thank you enough Y/n, I’m so thankful you were the one I was able to do this with.”

“Cole come here” you cried as you pulled the man onto the bed with you, carefully of course.

“I’m thankful to you know, it wasn’t exactly on my bucket list to be a mom at twenty one but I’m grateful that it’s you I get to live through this with” you sweetly smiled at the man as he leaned his forehead against yours.

You felt his eyes shift from your lips to you eyes a few times and just as you were both about to lean in, a knock sounded on the door.

July 2022

“You know when I said to make a move I didn’t mean knock her up” Trevor spoke to his friend as he helped set up the candles on the dock.

“Yeah way to baby trap her Cole” Alex laughed from where he picked the petals off the roses.

“I did not baby trap her!” The blonde exclaimed causing his three friends to laugh.

“Hey we’re not judging man, you got the girl you wanted and found a way to keep her around forever” Jack spoke

“You guys are assholes, now hurry up and finish helping before her and Ellen get back” he replied with a shake of his head.

An hour later Alex was blindfolding you and leading you out the back door of the Lake house towards the dock.

“Turcs what’s going on?” You laughed hearing your daughter giggle at Jack and Trevor behind you two.

“Nothing! Just be quite” he sassed and continued leading you.

“Okay take it off” he whispered and when you did you felt warmth flood your cheeks and tears prick your waterline.

There on the dock stood Cole surrounded by beautiful bouquets of white roses and candles while red petals covered the wood below him.

“Wha-?” You muttered as you stumbled towards him.

“Hi” he whispered, taking your hands in his as you approached him.

“What’s all this” you smiled with warm tears now running down your cheeks.

“I uh-You-shit this is harder than I thought” he laughed at his self

“I know we haven’t exactly established what we are but um” he began but was cut off by a loud New York accent.

“Just get on your fucking knee!”

Trevor’s voice caused the group around you-that you hadn’t realized was there to laugh. However it did cause Cole to shake off his nerves and drop down onto his knee.

“Things have always been a bit tricky with us but I’ve always known that I loved you. You’ve been there for all my ups and downs, my lowest of lows and highest of highs. These past eleven months have made me realize that I want you forever, I Want to go to bed to you and wake up to you everyday, I’m sick of telling people your just my best friend because baby you are way more than that. I’ve spent everyday loving you and I want to do that forever, so what I’m trying to say is, baby will you marry me?”

A sob broke through your and if it wasn’t for the smile on your face and nod of your head Cole would have been panicking.

“Yes, A thousand times yes” you cried as he slipped the breathtaking oval diamond onto your finger; the ring you showed him in college drunk off your ass, telling him that if someone ever proposed you wanted this one.

“I love you so much” you whispered as his cupped your cheeks to pull you into a kiss.

Your short moment was interrupted by Jack running down and jumping on Cole while Trevor handed you your daughter. Your families joined to share hugs and congratulations, both of your mothers smothering you in kisses and sweet words.

“Fucking finally Cole grew some balls and made it official” you heard Trevor exclaim causing a round of giggles and head nods.

April 2023

“Look Rosie! Here comes daddy and uncle Kirby” you exclaimed to your daughter as she stood against the glass.

“Ada!” She giggled as Cole slammed himself against the glass

“Hi baby!” He waved blowing the small one year old a kiss.

He went to open his mouth but his body was pushed out of the way by three large ones causing your daughter to beam brightly at the three men.

“Hi Rosie!”

“Ahoj Kočka”

“Hi pretty girl”

Spoke Arber, Juraj, and Kirby in sync, all three men smiling brightly at their niece, your daughter babbled in return smacking the glass with her tiny hands.

“Can you fuckers move!” You heard your fiancé yell as he pushed between Arber and Juraj to get back in his daughter’s sight, this time with a puck.

“Here baby, daddy got you a puck” he smiled and tossed one over the glass for you to catch.

You smiled fondly at the two, while you hadn’t expected to be a young mom you wouldn’t trade it for the world. You were madly in love with an amazing man and had a beautiful little girl together.

The journey was bumpy but in the end you got the life you’d always wanted

The end…

I apologize for any errors!

#cole caufield fluff #cole caufield x reader #cole caufield #cole caufield imagine #nhl #nhl fanfiction #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #jack hughes #alex turcotte #trevor zegras #montreal canadiens #nhl fluff #nhl fic #jays1kcelly

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coolprettyleo · 26 days

Text

so american - juraj slafkovsky ☆

wc: 1.8k

tw: mentions of sex. fluff? kinda mentions and ED. lmk if there's more!

juraj slafkovsky x reader

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

being nineteen living in new york city is a scary thing for any teenager. if you could even still call yourself that, but you got by.

instead of going the route that most of your friends did, attending the university of michigan, joining a sorority, and marrying a retired frat guy; you did the complete opposite.

you skipped college and moved to nyc to be a model. it had been going very well for you, seeing as your face was all over times square and you began to become the newest it girl, and you thankfully made enough to pay for your high rise apartment and live a luxaric life that you've always dreamed about.

so why on earth would you be standing in montreal on a tuesday night?

your boyfriend would be the cause of that. he lived in montreal and a love began to grow for the city seeing as its the place you've fallen in love with him.

is it too soon to say that? im sorry, but it's no doubt love; the feelings you've felt.

he was the most perfect boyfriend, treating you like a princess and you couldn't be happier.

you were currently standing at the airport searching for his tall frame. being a long distance couple is not easy but you two made it work. seeing as during the season he's basically glued to montreal, it was up to you to come and see him in the beautiful city, which is why you were here now.

"im outside gate forty six" his thick accent came through the phone. his accent was something that could turn your face red, in a millisecond.

"no your not. im standing directly under it" you said searching for him.

"turn around" you heard his voice come from behind you.

and behold and beyond there stood your boyfriend, standing there in all his glory smiling ear to ear and your excitement to see him, flooded in.

you squealed so loud and dropped your bag to run up to him and hug him. one thing you liked about juraj was his height and the fact you were still able to be shorter than him being 5'11 and all.

"how was your flight" he said giving you a sweet kiss, before picking up your bags and still managing to hold your hand through the crowd of people.

"it was okay, im a little jet lagged though" you said as you saw his car.

"have you eaten yet?, I made us dinner at home" he said opening your door for you.

he knew you hadn't been eating. you had been so wrapped up in growing your name, this was the first break you had in months and juraj was quick to see that. he really worried for you and you've never had someone other than your parents care like that. if he kept up with all this shit, you were going to marry him.

"no, im sorry" you said looking down, as you got in. you felt bad how much he spent worrying for you and you still not eating anything past nine thirty pm was not going to eaze his worries.

"dont apoligize, i got you know" your heart beated at his words.

"I literally love you juraj slafkovsky" you said as he got into the drivers side.

"you literally?" he teased.

"stop it!' you said smiling. you knew already what he was about to tease you about.

"you are so american pretty"

"HOW?!?"

-----

you and juraj were at a bar with his teammates and you were feeling tipsy early on to the night. he was wearing a fit that had you in shambles. god he looked handsome. you were sitting on his lap leaning your face into the crook of his neck.

"Y/N!!!" you heard cole yell over the loud music. you lifted your head from jurajs soft neck to see his teammate, happy to see you in montreal.

"hi cole" you giggled at his excitement.

"sing 22 with me. I just put it into the karaoke machine."

"oh my gosh! yes!!" you said standing up from juraj. right away realizing you were way to drunk to stand, and losing balance.

"woah," juraj said grabbing a hold of your hips and helping you stand straight.

"okay, i think its time to head home" he says smiling at her, holding her up.

"but cole-"

"but she-

"we'll see you tomorrow cole" juraj said cutting both cole and his girlfriend off.

"okay then" cole said looking like a kicked puppy and waving goodbye to you.

"what are you trying to take me home so fast for? hmm" you said to your boyfriend seductively grabbing the collar of his shirt.

"to get you in bed pretty" he said walking you out. you blushed right away thinking the other thing and loved how forward he was being right now even though he meant far from that.

___

you guys arrive to jurajs apartment and all you wanted was your boyfriend.

he opened the door and you didnt waste time to attach your lips to his and push him against the door. his hands still on holding your hips from walking you in, squeezed your sides as he pulled away.

"what are you doing baby" he said giggling at your forwardness.

"I want you. now." you said to him attaching your lips to his sweet spot on his neck.

you knew his weaknesses and even though it hurt him to push you away, you were drunk.

"we cant pretty, your drunk"

"no im not" you said as he guided you to his room.

"yes you are. come on lets get these cloths off"

"sex time?" you said, face lighting up taking off your top.

"no. sleep time" he said helping you pull your boots off.

you groaned and threw yourself starfish back onto his bed.

"come here" he said pulling you up and putting his hoodie over your frame. he put some boxers on you and reached into his drawer for you that had some makeup wipes as you starred at him.

"im sobering up" you said to him as he wiped your makeup off.

"y/n" he said pointly.

you rolled your eyes as you laid back onto the bed watching him begin to change.

"you look pretty in my cloths" he said smiling at how big his hoodie fit you.

"you think I look pretty in everything" you said rolling your eyes at your boyfriends cheesiness.

"so, you are pretty" he said pulling the covers over the both of you and wrapping his arm around you as you cuddled into him.

you traced a finger over his features, seeing as it always helped him fall asleep.

"your pretty" you whispered to him, giggling.

"im pretty?" he said lightly smiling, eyes still close.

"mhm" you said to him.

"goodnight baby. I love you" he said after a while.

"I love you. goodnight" you answered feeling, restless. how were you supposed to sleep when he's with you? and you loved sleeping. you sucked it up, and decided to make sure to be completely sober for tomorrow.

____

you were currently hitting the hottest nyc bars with your best friends, after being dragged out against your will by them and you just wanted to be home in bed. you couldn't believe you used to love going out.

"come on y/n!" your friend yelled over the loud music pulling you along.

you were miserable.

you sat on the booth, when a guy came up to sit next to you.

"hey, im Logan" the man said to you, probably hoping to go home with you tonight.

"y/n" you said uninterested looking around hoping to find somewhere to go off too.

"you like-" he was cutoff by the next song and you couldn't help but think about juraj.

"my boyfriend likes this song!" you said to the guy.

"you have a boyfriend?" he said standing up.

"yeah, it was nice meeting you" you said walking away.

you saw your friend with her newest eye candy and you walked up to them.

"y/n! this is... omg I already forgot. but he said he plays hockey!"

"uhm no, I said I liked it"

"its okay. I know your secret" she said whispering and pushing herself right after.

"what's your favorite team?" you said hoping the conversation would bring up juraj. its like you couldn't go a conversation without talking about him.

"the maple leafs"

you cringed.

"my boyfriend hates that team"

"he a montreal fan or what"' the guy said with his arm still around your best friend.

"no hes a playe-"

"are you talking about juraj again!?!" a voice comes from behind you.

"what do you mean again. I don't talk about him THAT much."

your friends shared a look before they both let out,

"yes you do"

____

you were currently at a photoshoot for the cover of times magazine when you got a FaceTime call coming from your boyfriend.

"hi" you said answering.'

"hello, how is the shoot going"

"really good! we're doing the last outfit, and im so happy because im spent" you said exhaustedly.

"dont tire yourself too much" he said seeing her eye bags hiding under the makeup she was wearing.

"I won't, anyways what happened?" you knew he wanted to ask you something because he knew not to interrupt your shoot time.

"my mom wants to know if you would join us for christmas, and im looking at tickets rights now, did you want to join us?" he said with a hopeful look.

you wanted to squeal. he was taking you home to his native land, and for some reason that felt so sacred to you. doesn't this man know that you would go anywhere he goes?

"that sounds like fun, I'd think l'd enjoy that" you said smiling at him. he let out what seemed to be a breath he'd been holding.

"okay, love. im booking our flights right now then. thank you for doing this"

"thank you for inviting me"

"oh! that means you have to spend thanksgiving with my family!" you added.

"okay. is that actually something you guys celebrate?" juraj asked. he thought the holiday was something he saw in movies seeing as they didnt celebrate the holiday, from where he was from .

"obviously! its only the best holiday!!!"

"yeah? what's your favorite thing about it?"

"well I like the food, obviously. I like spending time with everyone and watching the parade in nyc- oh! and the football game is always so much fun to watch, omg! and we have to put on the game for christmas at your families" you said to him.

"that seems..." he said trailing off, smiling at your excitement.

"spit it out slaf" you said, knowing he was about to make fun of you. he hesitated because he didnt know if he wanted to keep teasing you over this.

"so american"

___

hi guys! im sorry about the inactivity. I've had so much work and school work but, I will be writing more though, because im currently in the hospital, getting treated for a spider bite... so ill have ALOT of time. send in au thoughts lol.

#nhl imagines #hockey fic #nhl imagine #juraj slafkovsky smut #juraj slafkovsky x reader #juraj slafkovsky #cole caufield #nhl hockey #montreal canadiens x reader #cole caufield x reader

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bluewxrld07 · 3 months

Text

You Da One

This is PART 2 to the instagram AU for She's All I Wanna Be (Trevor Zegras)!! Have fun seeing who she winds up with ;) I wrote this while listening to You Da One by Rihanna so enjoy this as much as I enjoyed making it!!

Warning(s): none

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by jackhughes, tatemcrae, yourbff, colecaufield, and 1,267,984 others

yourusername wait this isn't a hockey game...?

tagged: yourbff

load more games

yourbff It most certainly is not 😏

tatemcrae 👀

user1 oh??? What's happening yourbff and tatemcrae???

user2 I need the FBI agents in here to do their digging FAST

jackhughes I was not expecting THAT when I answered the phone

user4 WHAT'RE WE MISSING????!

yourbff just posted a photo!

liked by tatemcrae, yourusername, l_hughes03, jackhughes and 1,005,953 others

yourbff Yay sports!!

tagged: yourusername

load more comments

user1: Is that where I think it is....

user2: Y'all I'm so lost what's happening

yourusername can't wait till next time 😝

jackhughes oh we are so there next time yourusername yourusername 'We' as in you and who? jackhughes jackhughes 'We' as in the whole crew yourusername Oh boy

user3 Y'ALL SHE WAS IN CINCINNATI WATCHING THE BENGALS

user4 Her and yourbff were sitting right in front of my mom and I, they were so sweet!

*liked by yourusername, yourbff*

user5 Anybody else catching onto y/n saying 'next time'??? sus?????

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, joeyb_9, trevorzegras, tatemcrae, jackhughes and 4,962,195 others

yourusername You are the one that I think about always

user had limited comments on this post

celebrityweekly just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, colecaufield, and 3,796,990 others

celebrityweekly NEW POSSIBLE COUPLE ALERT??!!

Hold onto your seats everyone, because this one is gonna be a ride!!!

Well-known gym influencer and heavy lifter, y/n l/n, was seen with her best friend, y/bff/n, recently in Cincinnati, Ohio at a Bengals NFL Game!!! That's not the best part... some sources who had been at said game had admitted to seeing the famous influencer LEAVING with FAMOUS BENGALS QUARTERBACK JOE BURROW!!!! Some said the two seemed to be quite cozy, more sources sending in these recent pictures during y/n's time in Cincy getting nice and close with the Quarterback!

Click the link in our bio to read more!!!!

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user1 ohhhh TEAAAAAA

user2 If this isn't a major kick to the nuts for Trevor idk what is lmfao

user3 OH I just KNOW Trev's kicking and punching air rn

user4 this took an unexpected turn of events

user5 NOT HER BFF AND COLE LIKING THIS POST LMFAO

user6 She deserves a guy like Burrow, I hope this is true!!!

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, jackhughes, joeyb_9, tatemcrae, trevorzegras and 3,236,976 others

yourusername you got me smiling' all the time :)

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user1 I wonder who she's talking about in this oop-

tatemcrae So happy to see you happy

yourbff aye yo bro who got you smiling' like that like..?!

yourusername You bro 😘 yourbff Damn right bae 😚

jackhughes The fact you're smiling with teeth for a photo proves my point in the gc

yourusername I do smile!! We're not having this argument again l_hughes03 he's got a point tho yourusername yourusername *quietly unadds Luke from gc* l_hughes03 It's not quiet when you're announcing it on your ig colecaufield when did we decided to leave the gc and start this in her comments?? Why wasn't I informed? yourusername because this is NOT happening in my comments jackhughes Who's your little crush that got smiling with teeth y/n/n?? yourusername yourusername like I said earlier, it's yourbff yourbff exactly jackhughes

user2 we ALLLLL know that it isn't yourbff who is making you smile like that

*liked by jackhughes*

user3 I think we all know it's a certain guy you've been seeing miss y/n

*liked by jackhughes*

joeyb_9 just posted a photo!

liked by lahjay10_, samhubbard, yourusername, yourbff, and 1,995,805 others

joeyb_9 Hawkeye

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user1 He's so fine like hello

lahjay10_ Man's got game on and off the field 🤩

user2 Ja'maar really hinting at Joe's thing with yourusername has me dead lmao

user3 If this mans isn't with yourusername I might actually start a riot

user4 I think there's more updates saying she's in Cincy for their game on Sunday!!!

yourbff Stop hogging

joeyb_9 No hogging over here

jackhughes I can't argue with this one

jackhughes just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, colecaufield, trevorzegras, yourusername, l_hughes03, edwards.73 and 946,994 others

jackhughes We're missing one because she was too cool to hang

tagged: yourbff, l_hughes03, colecaufield, yourusername

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user1 JACK CALLING HER OUT FOR BEING IN CINCY RN IM DEAD

colecaufield definitely didn't fly out here JUST to see yourusername

l_hughes03 definitely didn't make a fort in the living room JUST for yourusername to sleep in

yourbff definitely didn't save subs from the best deli on the corner for yourusername

yourusername You're all such drama queens

colecaufield nope just a little heartbroken is all 🥲

*liked by jackhughes, l_hughes03, yourbff*

user2 Something's cooked here lmfao

user3 What's funny is seeing Trevor like posts from time to time. we know he lurkin'

trevorzegras just posted a photo!

liked by dixiedamelio, alexturcotte, jamiedrysdale and 696,994 others

trevorzegras My one and only

tagged: dixiedamelio

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user1 y'all I think he misses y/n lmao

user2 Tell us you secretly miss yourusername without actually telling us 💀

dixiedamelio Always been me 😍

user3 maaaan she thought she ate with that comment

user4 gimme that plate dixiedamelio because you DID NOT EAT

*liked by yourbff*

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by yourbff, tatemcrae, joeyb_9, lahjay10_, jackhughes and 3,469,998 others

yourusername You are the one that I dream about all day

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yourbff Whose house is that??? 👀

lahjay10_ I agree, whose house is it? Looks familiar... * liked by yourbff*

colecaufield I cannot wait to see what the hype is all about

jackhughes Answer the gc yourusername I KNOW you not sleeping

yourusername 😚 jackhughes

user1 I love how Ja'maar got in on this lmfao, there's not backing out of this now

user2 Girly admit it... you are with the finest and best QB in the league

user3 Oh she's definitely bagged this guy

user4I cannot wait to meet you at the tailgate! Where can I find you at?

yourusername Find me by the pong table tournament!! ☺️

yourbff fr tho, your fit is gonna slay gf

*liked by yourusername*

colecaufield just posted a photo!

liked by jackhughes, yourbff, trevorzegras, l_hughes03, kirbydach and 700,972 others

colecaufield spotted a rare y/n sighting by the beer pong

tagged: yourusername

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user1 Did anyone else meet her????

user2 I did, I ran into her by the drinks table! She's so sweet and actually so much prettier in real life omfg

*liked by yourusername*

jackhughes Leave it to Cole to sprint towards the beer pong to tackle y/n

yourusername Y'all could've warned me, I'm in heels colecaufield There was no time, I'm too fast 😎 yourbff and too short to point out in the crowd colecaufield I'm blocking you I swear yourbff l_hughes03 She's not wrong. Had to put her on my shoulders to find you colecaufield colecaufield I regret being friends with any of you

yourbff just posted a photo!

liked by yourusername, jackhughes, l_hughes03, colecaufield and 2,397,074 others

yourbff Sorry to the people below us who had to deal with our screams

tagged: yourusername, tatemcrae

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tatemcrae It's a lifestyle now ok

yourusername it's law

jackhughes I've never seen this type of energy at our games from any of you🤔

yourbff It's different jackhughes

colecaufield hmmm different how may I ask? 😏

tatemcrae That's a y/n question yourusername That's not a y/n question

user1 This friend group joining the NFL friend group is what I'm striving to see

user2 Trevor wishing y/n got like this for him rn

user3 I just know he's having so many regrets lmfao

yourusername just posted a photo!

liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_, jackhughes, yourbff, colecaufield and 10,999,096 others

yourusername My love is your love, your love is my love

tagged: joeyb_9

user had limited comments on this post

yourbff So proud you found your lobster 💜

jackhughes you deserve that happiness you searched so long for y/n/n

colecaufield And I thought jackhughes was tall...

l_hughes03 go off y/n!!

trevorzegras I miss you

joeyb_9 just posted a photo!

liked by yourusername, lahjay10_, samhubbard, loganwilson, yourbff and 10,894,902 others

joeyb_9 My love is your love, your love is mine

user has disabled comments on this post

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leaentries · 1 month

Text

lea’s boyfriend!player headcanon masterlist

➛ if you do not see a player you like, send in an ask!

✮. nico hischier as your boyfriend | here

✮. timo meier as your boyfriend | here

✮. cole caufield as your boyfriend | here

✮. kirby dach as your boyfriend | here

✮. luke hughes as your boyfriend | here

✮. john marino as your boyfriend | here

✮. dawson mercer as your boyfriend | in progress

✮. jamie drysdale as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. jack hughes as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. quinn hughes as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. alexander holtz as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. luca fantilli as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. ethan edwards as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. william nylander as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. adam fantilli as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. arber xhekaj as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. will smith as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. matthew barzal as your boyfriend | coming soon

✮. andrei svechnikov as your boyfriend | coming soon

#nico hischier #timo meier #cole caufield #kirby dach #nico hischier x reader #timo meier x reader #cole caufield x reader #kirby dach x reader #nico hischier headcanons #timo meier headcanons #cole caufield headcanons #new jersey devils #kirby dach headcanons #montreal canadiens

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wintfleur · 27 days

Note

🎀 hii bestie🤭 congratulations AGAIN on 1k it is so deserved and i am so so happy for you !!!

could i possibly request prompt 014 from 🪷 with cole caufield please ?? have a realll soft spot for him atm and i think you’d write this so so beautifully🤭 okay i luv u lots and congrats again roro😽😵‍💫

౨ৎ mornings with our little pawfield

﹕─┈ pairings ( Cole caufield x female! reader )

°. — summary ( mornings with your two favorite boys )

°. — details ( g; fluff. w; just pure fluff! wc; 1.2k )

﹕─┈ prompt ~ they roll on top of you, cradling your head between their hands as they kiss your nose.

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( AHHH BECCA MY LOVE ☹️ ILY SO BADD 🩷 !!! Tysm for sending in a request and for the sweet words !!! I genuinely couldn’t have done this without youu x I hope you enjoy it bestie !!! )

1k celly masterlist main masterlist nhl masterlist

“Shhh don't wake up mommy” Cole whispered to Alfie as they made their way back into the couple's bedroom. Cole ran his hand through his messy hair from a good night's sleep, a tired yawn leaving his lips as he slipped off his slippers that he wore as he took Alfie outside. Alfie just wagged his tail faster in excitement and ran across the floor and jumped on the bottom of the bed, doing that cute little twirl he always did before laying down.

Cole smiled and moved to his side of the bed and pulled back the white duvet to slide back into the warm bed, slowly and carefully so he wouldn't wake you up. Cole laid on his side facing your sleeping body, a fond smile on his lips as he watched your body rise and fall in unison with your breathing. You were laying on your stomach with both of your hands under your pillow, your face was smushed against the soft pillow, causing your lips to form an adorable pout he so desperately wanted to kiss.

The duvet was pulled up to your shoulders and you looked so warm that he just wanted to pull you into his arms and hold you, but he did not want to disturb your sleep. It was far too early for you to wake up on your day off. But it seems their excited dog didn't feel the same way as him, Alfie was determined to wake up his mommy, wanting her attention and ear scratches that only she could do. Cole's eyes widened when he saw Alfie stand up and before Cole could stop the eager dog, the damage was already done.

A groan mixed with tiredness and pain leaves your lips when you abruptly wake up to the feeling of paws on your back, the duvet not protecting you much from the paws in your back. “Alfie get off” you heard your boyfriend hiss as he sits up, alfie letting out a whine but listens, snuggling up against your side and looking up at cole. Another groan leaves your lips as your eyes slowly open before immediately closing at the bright shine coming from the curtains you had forgotten to close the night before.

Your eyes slowly flutter open, blinking away the sleep a few times. Your eyes immediately lock with a smiling Cole as he lays on his side, his eyes already on you, admiring your morning glow like he did every morning he spent with you. He never took a single morning for granted; he knew he was blessed to have such a loving girlfriend like you. He hated being away because of his away games, away from Alfie, away from you, so he cherished every morning with you and alfie.

Before you could open your mouth to say good morning you're cut off with your own shocked squeal when you feel alfie start licking your nose and cheeks. Cole's head falls back against the pillow as a loud laugh leaves his lips at the sight. You hide your face into the pillow, a laugh of your own coming out. Alife soon gives up on his love attack and moves to lay back between his parents, letting you lift your face up from the pillow.

“Mmm my favorite way to wake up” you murmured as you rolled over to lay on your back, stretching your arms out with a yawn, your eyes fluttering close at the satisfying feeling. Cole chuckles and props up on his elbow, looking down at you with a fond smile as you open your eyes and look up at him “What, with paws in your back?”

“No kisses from my favorite boy” you winked teasingly at your smiling boyfriend before placing a quick kiss to Alfie's snout, alfie wagging his tail excitedly from the attention. Cole rolls his eyes and leans forward and places a quick kiss to your forehead, brushing some of your messy hair out of your face before whispering “I'm your second favorite though, right?”

“Depends on who's making breakfast” You smirk as you look up at him, your eyes silently begging him to make breakfast. Alfie perks up at the work breakfast, his ears popping happily as he quickly gets up and jumps off the bed. Quickly running out of the room and into the kitchen, causing the couple to laugh at their dogs' actions. He gets his love for breakfast from his mommy!

“Waffles or pancakes?” Cole asks as he sits up, your eyes traveling down his shirtless chest before quickly looking up at Cole's face, a small smirk on your boyfriend's lips as he catches you checking him out. You lean back on your elbows, the blanket falling down to your waist, you answer sassily “Do you even have to ask?”

“Sorry sorry” Cole chuckles, his eyes twinkling with mischief, a look you know all too well. You open your mouth to ask your boyfriend what he's thinking about, but instead a squeal of surprise leaves your lips as he quickly rolls to lay between your legs. Your upper body falls back against the bed, a giggle leaving your lips as you feel Cole cradle your head softly between his hands.

“I love you” Cole whispered as the two of you kept eye contact, the eye contact only breaking when your eyes flutter close at the soft keeling of his lips on your nose, his thumbs softly caressing your cheeks. You smile and wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him down closer to you, one of your hands running through his hair as you both enjoy the soft sweet moments that came with your shared mornings.

You open your eyes and look up at your smiling boyfriend, his eyes taking in every inch of your face that he's already memorized, fully enchanted by your beauty. You whisper back “I love you.”

A wide grins spreads across cole's lips at the undeniable love in your eyes, this feeling . . . the warmth that spread throughout his whole body as he held you close, and the feeling of his beating heart in sync with yours was a feeling he never wanted to forget, a feeling he hoped to feel for the rest of his life. Cole slowly leaned his face closer to your, having a strong desire to feel your lips on his.

It was so close, your lips touching, but you quickly pulled back and turned your head towards the open bedroom door at the sound of Alfie barking. A loud laugh leaves your lips when Cole drops his forehead against your shoulder, a groan leaving his lips at the interruption. You scratch at the hair at his nape, causing him to rest his chin on you, looking up at you with a cute pout. You continue to laugh as you bring your other hand to softly bop his nose “Sounds like someone's hungry.”

Cole scrunches his nose at the ticklish touch and places a quick kiss to your clothed stomach before swiftly getting out of bed. You lean back on your elbows and bite your lip as you watch Cole walk out of your shared bedroom, turning to look back at you “He gets his impatience from you.”

You let out a dramatic gasp at your boyfriend's words, and you were quick to get out of the messy bed, chasing a giggling Cole through your hallway and into the kitchen. Another sweet morning with your two boys!

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( AHH MY FIRST COLE FIC 🤭 featuring the cutest Alfie !!! )

°. — taglist ( @cixrosie @toasttt11 @lovings4turn x )

#﹕─┈ 𝜗 roro's 1k celly 𝜚 #﹕─┈ roro’s works #౨ৎ becca #cole caufield #cc22 #montreal canadiens #cole caufield x reader #cole caufield fluff #cole caufield imagine #Cole caufield x you #nhl blurb #nhl fluff #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl x reader #nhl fic #hockey #habs #jack hughes

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ghostking4m · 29 days

Text

Male readers exist

So this is mostly for the hockey and sports world writers, I don’t mean to be mean or make anyone uncomfortable when I say this, but male readers exist too. Believe i’ve tried writing for male readers, but, I don’t have the talent or even time and energy to write for male readers at my current stage in life. I just want to request that more writers for the sports world, particularly hockey, F1, american football, maybe even just specific athletes. I’ve seen that some writers are including more gender neutral and male readers to their work, but when all you see is straight girls getting every piece of writing, it really sucks and makes us feel pretty shitty

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drysdalesworld · 3 months

Text

them with a highly energetic child

headcanons of the boys with a highly energetic child (& x fem!reader)

the boys who have a highly energetic daughter:

QUINN HUGHES

— poor man’s trying his best fr. his patience is always tested with his daughter

— he’s always tired before the day ends due to how energetic she is but he doesn’t complain as he tries to soak up as much time as he can with her as he’s usually gone due to hockey

— poor dude gets all blushy & awkward whenever she waved to strangers & talks to them. quinn mumbles an apology to them before whisking her away, telling her how careful she needs to be to those she does not know as some people aren’t that friendly

— loves loves seeing his wife/reader interact with their daughter. she looks so much like you

— ^ like she got all of your good qualities & he’s just in awe every time he sees the reader & their daughter interact. nearly brings him to tears every time

— accidentally falls asleep sometimes during playtime but his little girl honestly doesn’t mind! she always ends up joining him & reader finds them both passed out on the couch, cuddled together

— baby girl is NOT afraid to speak her mind so she always ends up saying lovely things to the tv or the refs during quinns games. very passionate about the game & her fathers safety on the ice

NICO HISCHIER

— he’s able to switch from being soft & gentle to highly energetic within seconds

— his face always lights up when he sees her it’s the sweetest thing ever

— loves picking her up in his arms & just kinda tossle her around as he knows she loves it. her high shrieked giggles is what always wakes you up in the morning

— is quite literally the only person that’s able to calm her down enough to get her ready in the morning. does her hair & gets her dressed for you before he has to leave for morning skate

— also got her a backpack leash. it’s a pink poodle & she ALWAYS has that thing on (she loves bolting)

— the devils absolutely love her & nico always ask if she can tag along for a practice & the answer is always yes

— nico wanted to put her in dance bc he secretly wants to be that dad that dances with his daughter on the stage for her first recital

— makes “parkour” obstacles for her during playtime to get her energy out

— randomly throws her over his shoulder sometimes & just runs around the house

— he always asks if the three of you could take his pregame nap with him just so he could have the reader & his daughter close to him before he has to leave

— he goes all out on halloween & all three of you have matching costumes. your daughter is so excited about it that she can’t shut up about it

KIRBY DACH

— he’s such a gentle giant w/ her & lets her climb him like a monkey without complaint

— ^ eventually he’ll take her into his arms & just dangle her by her legs & gently shake her as she laughs or blow raspberries into her stomach/neck

— she always runs through or around his legs so he’s always on the lookout for her whenever he’s home just so he doesn’t topple over her on accident

— he skates up to the glass wherever you two are sitting & puts his hand + forehead on it. she copies him before smacking the glass, letting him skate off before blowing reader & their daughter a kiss

— likes to take her wherever he goes, especially if it’s a new city she hasn’t been to yet while they’re traveling ( & when they’re allowed to attend the away game). he likes showing her his favorite places & her face is so cute when she sees all the pretty lights

— dances with her while the both of you make breakfast, lunch, or dinner. sometimes throws her up in the air & catches her

— they both have matching bracelets that she made. he never takes it off

— likes to take her energy out through painting/arts & crafts. she likes to get messy so she’ll be covered in paint with a gummy smile. kirby joins in at times so both of them are covered in paint (there’s too many pictures on your instagram of the two of them like that lol)

— she literally gets whatever she wants w/ just one look & kirby’s already putty & taking out his card 😭

JAMIE DRYSDALE

— poor man is a struggling first time father & having a highly energetic child on top of that as an extreme introvert is something he’s working on

— he absolutely loves her to death don’t get him wrong but there’s a reason why everyone chirps him for being so shy & quiet

— whenever he’s home, she demands for jamie to play w/ her & he’s immediately following her into the corner of the living room where all of her toys are

— always playing tea time with her & he loves loves it

— he’s always tired after playing with her & he gets tired super easily but he’s def getting better at it!

— jamie’s managed to convince his daughter that she needs naps throughout the day to maintain her energy & to play so she always has him whisk her off for naps. he gently tucks her in & lightly sings her a lullaby to sleep (something he does during bedtime too). these are probably the only times reader & jamie has some peace & quiet so they definitely take advantage of it by relaxing or catching up

— is so gentle with her when he brings her along for morning skate. the entire team is, they adore her fr

— when he gets traded, he was a bit nervous to introduce her to the flyers but baby girl was so excited she practically wiggled out of his arms & introduced herself to every one on the team. he could only sit back & admire how friendly his child was

— super proud & thankful to have a child who is a splitting image of reader. he loves reader so much that he’s glad their daughter looks just like her. like, you both made that person? he feels like the luckiest man on earth

— doesn’t hesitate to let trevor babysit (when he’s proven himself worthy lol). trevor is ever more energetic than his daughter so she’s always passed out in her bed when jamie & his love get back from their date

COLE CAUFIELD

— his daughter may look like reader but she’s 100% coles kid with her attitude & personality

— literally bolts anytime she gets. she thinks it’s a game & always giggles when cole or you chase her around the house trying to catch her

— she climbs cole like a tree. climbs anything like a tree really

— the only time she is calm is when reader reads her a bedtime story. baby girl is literally silent as she grips onto every word you speak to her. it’s kinda eerie to see her like this as she usually speaks hundred miles per hour to you & cole

— cole always takes her to morning skate with him when granted permission. he slaps some skates on her & she immediately takes off. she’s not super well balanced on skates yet but she still has so much fun nonetheless. more often than not, she falls asleep in the car on the ride home

— cole attempts to dress her most days but it always ends up in a disaster as she most likely will look like she herself dressed herself lol

— always gets her a piece of jewelry for her birthdays. it was his signature with reader & now it’s also his tradition/signature with their daughter as well. it was usually small things when she was little & then he began to get her things like necklaces or rings when she got older & could keep more track of them

— holds her at any chance he gets

the boys who have a highly energetic son:

JACK HUGHES

— is 100% delighted to have a son that is literally a splitting image of himself

— ^ they’re partners in crime fr

— always takes him places during roadies when reader & their son join him. he loves showing him all of the places he’s visited & getting him cute little souvenirs for memory’s sake

— neither of them know how or when to shut the fuck up sometimes

— jack signed him up for hockey lessons when he was super young & started to show signs of being highly energetic but reader pushed back a bit bc she wanted their son to explore other sports than just hockey

— ^ he was a little heart broken when he found out you signed him up for soccer & that your son seemed more interested in that than hockey but little dude is such a menace on the field just like his dad so he can’t really complain about that

— poor reader is always tired out by both of her boys that they always catch her asleep on the couch or in their bed. the two join her in her naps & it’s one of the rare & peaceful moments they have where jack & his son are willingly quiet & calm as they join reader in her slumber

— he always makes new friends wherever he goes & always has a great time no matter the weather

— reader & jack’s son is so much like his father in the way that he’s protective over his mother & respects her

— ^ once at jack’s games, their son had noticed some rando trying to pick up on reader & boy was he having none of it. their little boy glared at the stranger & pulled reader closer to him before saying “my mommy” & shooing the dude away. jack literally high fived his son once he was told the story from reader (“that’s my little man! good job buddy!”)

— the summers at the lake house are always interesting. jack loves scaring the shit of you by holding your son in his arms as he wake boards. reader yells at him to not drop their son & has a heart attack when he “pretends” to drop him only to tighten his grip on their boys body. the two of them always go off & have their own fun during the summer while the reader enjoys her break talking & laughing w/ ellen

— jack puts your son to bed by 8pm bc he’s always hella tired by that time due to how much he’s running around & playing w/ his dad

LUKE HUGHES

— everyone should be concerned for this man bc his child does not give a single fuck

— ^ his son always wakes up in the wee hours of the morning just to run around & play. it’s lukes job to wrangle him back into bed

— luke bought his son a backpack leash so he doesn’t go running off when something else catches his attention (it’s a monkey one too)

— always has time for his son though so he’ll literally drop ANYTHING just for him

— is the one to put him to bed & read him a bedtime story. you always catch luke fast asleep on your sons tiny bed, his hand unconsciously rubbing the boys small back

— luke may not be the first person to wake up in the morning but he’s usually the one to keep your son busy while the reader makes breakfast or takes care of herself in the morning

— sometimes he just tossles him & carries him like a bag (yknow those tiktoks where they carry their kids by their jackets when they don’t want to walk) & he absolutely loves it. his son giggled so loudly as he just hangs or is getting thrown on the couch pillows

— during the summer, your son tends to burn more than you or luke so luke kind of goes overboard on the sunscreen & makes sure that he has a rash guard on for extra protection. puts a towel over him too on the boat if luke notices that his son is even a little red

— ^ throws his son into the lake all the time. he always asks for it too, practically climbing up luke as he begs for him to throw him into the water. his giggles always bring a smile to both of your faces as he shouts “again! again!”

— luke likes to gather the both of you into his arms & guide you guys into bed for his pregame naps. it’s usually luke, your son, & then you all cuddled together but sometimes it’s luke spooning you while you hold your son. it’s a cute sight

TREVOR ZEGRAS

— off the walls ecstatic to have a son that can match his energy

— this man is so happy to have a mini him it’s crazy

— loves running around with his & creating games for him to play

— def gets him into sports very early on & not just hockey. trev signs him up for soccer, basketball, baseball, golf, etc.

— he also sometimes just carries him or dangle him by his legs to “shake” out all the energy his son has before bedtime. it’s something that his parents used to do to him when he was younger & it seemed to work & help him so now he does it to his son too

— loves to post on his instagram story about their play times & adventures. it’s so sickeningly cute

— if his son were to scream out of nowhere randomly, then so will trevor. if his son just gets up & starts running out of nowhere, trevor will follow right after

— these two love to have cereal for dinner all the time it actually upsets reader sometimes lol

— you three are obviously invited to the lake house during the summertime by the hughes family & it’s always such a blast for trev & his son

— ^ yknow the picture of chris hemsworth w/ one of his children? the one where he has them by their feet at the beach? yeah that gives me major trevor vibes w/ his son at the lake house

— ^^ your son does not burn at all. he only tans, just like his father. but trevor still makes sure to put sunscreen on him just to be sure

LUCA FANTILLI

— also off the walls ecstatic to have a kid just like him

— his son looks & acts just like him (praying for reader)

— the entire umich team loves your son so often not, luca always brings him to practices, games, & other team related events

— he always informs either you or luca whenever he needs to get his “jitters” out. so when he gets the green light, he always just ends up violently shaking or running in circles around luca

— uncle adam is definitely his favorite person but dude purposely gets his brothers son all riled up just for the fun of it & it’s something you always scold adam for

— luca always deals with his son whenever he’s overstimulated or reader needs a break & he’s always happy to do so

— he’s the one to wake up your son in order to let you sleep in. luca holds him close to his chest & squeezes him tight before gently “shaking” out his morning jitters. they then have a race to the kitchen where luca gets started on breakfast

— ^ always gets him dressed too. he lets his kid choose his own clothing of choice for the day & always tells him how handsome he is, no matter how weird the outfit looks. then they’re both off to the nearest park to spend some time together before heading back home to wake reader up with a dog pile & breakfast in bed

— always give him a puck during warm ups before a game. he literally screeches in delight when it happens

— loves showing off his son & reader so much. his instagram is full of just you & your son

— on the days he’s allowed to bring him to practice he brings in his son to monday questions & have him also answer the question

— always spins him around when he picks up up after a game

— so so gentle & patient with his son too

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pocketsizedq · 3 months

Text

The ways they show affection

Lukas Dostal

-wakes you up with coffee

->come into your guys shared room.

->place a few kisses on your head helping you sit up handing you coffee either from your favorite place or some made at home if you are up when he’s getting ready for practice

-giving you all of his attention

->always loves to hear about your day or any new gossip you have learned

->would never tell you that he loves hearing the gossip but just loves seeing your eyes light up as you tell him all that’s going on at work

-always orders food if you say no

->He always makes sure to get extra food so you can have some too and that you never getting hungry and not have some food at home

-takes you to skate

->he loves skating with you as it’s his to favorite things and you both can just enjoy being on the ice together and can talk about things

-always text you reminds about things

->oh you’ve got a doctor appointment? He’s already texted you remind you. Have you drink any water today? Did you take your medicine? I love you.

->thoses are some of the things he would text you

Jamie Drysdale

- wearing a simple bracelet around his wrist for when you get nervous

->he’d notice how you would play with his fingers or like play with his arm hair when you are nervous so started wearing a bracelet around his wrist so you could play with it.

-always stands up for you

-whether it be you getting uncomfortable in a conversation or not wanting to face conflict. He’d get out of his way and push past his own anxiety to help you.

-deep conversations

->he loves when you both can just sit on the porch drinking a new bottle of wine he had gotten and talk about the future of your relationship or how you both are feeling mentally

-always does something out of the blue

->writing little letter to you,sending little voice messages about how much he loves you or taking you out on a random date

-complimenting you

->he always makes sure to compliment you everyday to make sure you know you are loved and special to him

Cole Caufield

-lets you wear his shoes when your heels get uncomfortable

->you both would be walking out of a club or something and he’d notice that your feet would start to bother you so he kindly offers you his shoes to which he has to insist on

->he would carry your heels and walk barefoot with you back to the car happy that you aren’t in pain

->he never would say no to traded shoes as he just wants you to be comfortable

-wears a bracelet you made him around his wrist

->he nearly cried when he found out you made him a little bracelet out of some of your old beads you had

->never takes it off as it’s a good luck charm now and always kisses it before putting it back on his wrist to go play a game

-always buys you alittle something every where he goes

->if he’s playing an away game he’d go and buy you something like a charm or something in the city that reminds you of the city he went to

-always reassuring you

->if you ever feel insecure? He’s your hype man

->always makes sure that your smiling around him and always tries to keep that frown upside down

-always tries to keep things positive around you

->he’s your sunshine. if you ever down he tries to pick you back up and wipe you off. Always makes sure your happy wither it’s cracking a joke or making a fool of himself always tries to keep a smile on your face

Adam Fantilli

-keeping a pad/tampon in his wallet for you

->always has one of him if you ever need it. he keeps both in there as he never remembers what you use but just keeps it on him

-spraying his cologne on your teddy bear when he has to leave

->he had gotten you a teddy bear with a umich shirt on it and he sprays it so you can cuddle it and know he loves you

->it even has a button on it that you can press and it says “I love you princess”

-wears a dog tag around his neck that has “I love you” engraved in your hand writing on it

->never takes it off and always wears it. You had gotten it for his 19th birthday and now calls it his lucky charm

-has a playlist made for you

->he had a made a playlist of songs that would remind you of him and that remind you that he’s all ways there for you and loves you.

-lets you rant

->he even if he has something big coming up would stay up with you after a game to listen to all of the stuff that is bothering you or is coming up.

Luca Fantilli

-kissing you every time you pout

->he’d jokely say no to something like going to get ice cream and you’d put on a fake pout to which he’d kiss and say “I’m just kidding baby”

->every time he sees even a small pout on your lips he’d kiss it

-love letters to the max

->he’d leave small letters in your car,backpack,your sports bag and dorm

->he just wants you to have something that you can take with you to remind you that he loves you and sometimes it’s just even a small smiley face saying “thinking of you”

-smacking your butt

->if you watch out for booty man.

->in a loving way if your walking up the stairs or in front of him he’d give your butt a squish to remind you that he’s there

-putting his head on your boobs

->He started doing it more when you got pregnant with your guys first kid and would always keep his head on your chest and a hand on your bump rubbing it.

-keeping a hair tie around his wrist

->he always has one around his wrist which comes in handy sometimes if you ever need your hair pulled back

Nico Hischier

-keeps eyes on you at all times

->wether you are cooking or out in public he always keeps an eye on you in a protective way making sure nothing happens to you.

->as he knows the dangers of Newark and the area of the city and he also doesn’t want you to silp up and accidentally cut yourself without him knowing

-braiding your hair

->he started doing it by himself but was worried he would tangle your hair so he asked you to teach him

->now anytime your sick or need your hair up he would braid it. Also has started watching YouTube videos on more ways to braid it

-puts his beanie on your head

->if he notices your ears even getting a hint of red in color he’s will take his beanie off his head putting it on yours and says “shush just wear it”

-writes your initial on his stick

->always after you both started getting serious he started putting your first and last letter on his stick with a heart as he thinks it would bring him more good luck

-always checks up on you

->wether it’s a small message or a 10 minute call every day he makes sure you are okay and doing okay

Jack Hughes

-covering corners when you lean over

->he’s like a slient protector. If you ask him about it he wouldn’t know what your talking about but he would always cover corners so you wouldn’t hit your head

-warms up a towel for you

->anytime your about to shower or in the shower he always makes sure to throw your towel in the dryer so it’s nice and warm when you come out.

-cooks for you

->from the articles it’s says that Jack is a good cook so he takes his chief abilities and makes you dinner when ever he can

->learns how to cook your favorite meal and cooks it for you every now and then

-being your cheerleader

-> he always has someone shouting for him including you but he wanted to be shouter for once and always cheers you on in anything you do whether it’s your job or just working out

-always sending you good morning and good night text

-if he’s not home he always makes sure to tell you good morning and night with a heart and I love you with it

Luke Hughes

-always has your favorite snacks at his place (Jack’s)

->literally has a sticky note on the snacks that say “don’t touch theses are for y/n”

->always makes sure you are fed and happy

-showers you with compliments

->he always reminds you how beautiful you are and how lucky he is to have you

-cuddles

->always is holding you close and just keeping you close

->is strong cuddler and just knowing you are right by him gives him peace of mine

-compromising with you

->is always open to hearing your side before barking down the bush with you and never wants to upset you with arguing

-scratching your back

->every night before you fall asleep you always fell him start to scratch your back to help you fall asleep

Quinn Hughes

- definitely a play fighter

->you both would be cuddling then he’d start tickling you which would turn into you both play fighting and him just loving at you with loving eyes.

-always tries to make time with you

->he’s a busy man with being captain and everything so he always try to find ways to spend time with you

-reading with you

->would let you lay your head in his lap as he read the new book he had bought to you

-buys you different rings from stores he goes to

->he buys a ring for you in all the different places he goes so it would be like you went there with him

-has a keychain of your initials on his keys

->it’s a small way of him showing you that you have his heart

Maveric Lamoureux

-leans down to hear you

-> he’s a tall dude

->so he has to lean down to hear you which makes you blushy which he finds cute but he also thinks communication is important so to him leaning down to hear you is a way of showing he love you

-buys you new flowers every week

->always likes to get you fresh flowers. It’s a little thing he started when you both got serious and he’s continues to do it. It has now became a tradition

-rest his elbow on your head

->he does this to annoy you because he loves seeing the way your face goes and also a way of showing he is by your side

-translate different items or conversations

->if you are around him when he is talking to someone in French he would take his time to translate it all for you or if your in a all French grocery store he would translate the items for you

-leaves cute little sticky note affirmations on your stuffs

->leaves sticky notes everywhere so you know how beautiful and special you are

Mason Mctavish

-remembers the small things

->he reminds when you both first met and the place where you met. When he first asked you out.

-sitting with you in the mornings

-> his mornings are usually pretty busy but always tries to find time with you in the morning just to go over what you both are doing that day

-sleeps by the door

->always tries to make sure you are safe and makes sure you know that he will protect you and one the ways he shows you that is by sleeping near the door

-kisses you every time you walk by

->every time he sees you or goes near you he will kiss you on the lips with a big smile

-gives you space when you need it

->always can tell if something going on and you need space

Fraser Minten

-holding hands

->would kiss your knuckles one by one looking up at you with a soft smile before he starts driving

->while driving or walking around he’d subconsciously rubbing his thumb over your knuckles

-talking with you at late nights when you can’t sleep

->he’d always stay up with you talking random things or tell you how the game went if your still up and can’t sleep at night

->he’d tell you random stories or memories he had as a kid

-putting a blanket over when he finds you asleep

->he’d come back home from a late game to find you sleeping on the couch and would put a blanket over you

->anytime he finds you sleeping on the couch he’d put a blanket over you

-feeding you

->if you are sick or tired and had eating anything he’d sit there and feed you every last bite of what you have to eat as he doesn’t want you to get sick or sicker from not eating

-wears a chain around his neck that has your lucky number

->the number reminds him of you and the necklace has now became his lucky charm and it always reminds him he has you to come home to.

Juraj Slafkovsky

-patting your head

->if your shorter than him he likes to just pat you on the head when he sees you doing something like homework and cooking dinner instead of wrapping his arms around your waist

-washing your hair

->he enjoys washing your hair especially when he knows it relaxes you and gently scratches your scalp too.

-teaching you sovak

->He noticed how you were trying to learn it on your own so you could talk with him more so he started to teach you.

->he would say something in sovak and then make you point at what he meant

-sitting with you and telling you stories

->he tells you about his hometown and how he’d love for one day that he could bring you there

-late night ice cream

->once you both moved in together is when you both started to have a late night ice cream run definitely when he is home

Jeremy Swayman

-cleans with you

->if he ever comes home to you cleaning he would throw on some music and start helping you clean

-always has a hand or arm on you or around you

->he always keeps a arm around you to keep you safe when you both are in public and even when not in public always has his arms around you

-gives you hugs and kisses through out the day

->if he doesn’t get his morning kiss from you he’s a grumpy man

->always loves giving you Hugs and kisses

-gives you his full attention

->will sit there and listen to your day and just nods his head until you want him to speak

-always says thank you to you

->wether it be you cooking dinner or just telling you how much you appreciate him he always says thank you

Trevor Zegras

-has a nighttime routine with you

->whenever it’s a home game and he can come back to you you both have a routine you both do together.

->a shower together then skin care and then you both talk about eachother days together

-will pull you into his lap and tell you he loves you

->he would do it right in front of the boys and not afraid to show affection to you even when around the boys

-Surprise you With a Fun Activity he doesnt Normally Do

->would bring you to a movie theater out of nowhere or go to the park and plays on the playground with you like little kids

-always randomly squishing your face

->when you pout your face gets squish. when you just smile at him? Your face gets squished.

-has his favorite picture of you in his wallet

->the picture is from your guys first date and he keeps it on him to remind him how lucky he is to have you

519 notes · View notes

babydollmarauders · 4 months

Text

CHRISTMAS MIRACLE — COLE CAUFIELD

cole caufield x fem!reader

12 DAYS OF KINKMAS

summary: in which y/n gets stuck with her enemy, Cole, and finds out hate can lead to some miracle discoveries

warnings: NSFW CONTENT, long intro, handjob, p in v (protected), sub!cole (ish?). (4.7k words)

notes: welcome to day 10 of my 12 days of kinkmas! we’re in the final stretch of kinkmas and i hope you guys are enjoying it!

this isn’t how i want to be spending the first day of my break.

well, i guess the first hour of my break.

i was just getting ready to head home, dreading driving in the blizzard of a snow storm and taking my time to psych myself up, when an equipment manager called me over. he told me a player forgot his ipad and is asking if anyone would be willing to drop it off on their way home because he’d like to go over plays during the break.

hesitantly, i said sure, i’d bring it to them; but what i wasn’t aware of, and what i’m sure my coworker conveniently forgot to mention, is that the player in question is Cole fucking Caufield.

it’s not necessarily that i hate Cole; on the contrary, i had always thought he was extremely kind and talented.

in fact, when i had originally interned with the Laval Rocket, he was always incredibly nice to me. and in turn, i fell for him a little each day.

but then, he was called up to Montreal, and the following season, i was offered the position of media manager for the Canadiens.

i was excited, i spent the week leading up to my first day thinking about how wonderful it would be to be able to joke around with Cole again. i thought of sketch tiktoks for the team to do, most with Cole as the leading man because i knew he was a fan favorite, and questions to ask as they took the ice for practice.

and it was great at first. Cole was sweet and he was always willing to take part in team tiktoks, always greeting me with a smile. but around a month later, something changed.

no longer was he the kindhearted individual i was familiar with, instead he was cold shouldered and rude; snarky and arrogant. and that’s the way it’s stayed. for the past few years it’s felt like pulling teeth to try and communicate with him, and even worse to convince him to be in team tiktoks.

which brings me to now, standing at the front door of his house, an ipad tucked under my arm as i stand in the blistering cold. snow sticks on my lashes, flurries in my hair, but my toque does nothing to shield me from the cold Montréal air.

if i drove here on the icy roads, my windshield wipers at full speed, just for him to not even answer the fucking door, i’m gonna lose it.

i bang my fist upon the door again, body shivering from the cold, and it takes merely a moment for him to finally open the door.

he greets me with a wide smile, but when he sees that it’s me who stands before him, that cheery facade drops, a cold, blank expression taking its place.

i can hear the news blasting from his living room as the heated air wafts out of the home, blasting my face and making my nose go numb from the sudden cold to warm.

“what?” he asks, voice monotone.

“here,” i shove the ipad into his chest harshly, making him cough from the sudden impact, “next time, don’t leave your fucking ipad at the rink.”

he glares back, taking the ipad into his hands and parting his lips to argue.

“it was an accident,” he sneers, “trust me, if i knew you would bring it to me, i definitely would’ve double checked i had it.”

you.

my body fills with anger, insulted yet hurt by the way he says it. as though he’s repulsed by me.

“ya know what, asshole?” i don’t even get to finish my quip before i’m cut off a loud alarm coming from the tv.

it gathers both he and i’s attention, his head snapping back to look at the screen, while i peer around him to see it.

“with the blizzard picking up and roads becoming icier, officials have reported that all roads will now be closed for the night. stay inside and stay warm. we’ll get back to you when the storm passes.”

the news reporters words echo through my head, forcing me to end my comeback and just turn around.

i take a step towards the stairs that lead up to his door, but i’m stopped almost immediately.

“hey, where are you going?” Cole calls out from behind me.

“home!”

“they just said the roads are closed.”

“exactly,” i huff, “which means i need to get going quick so that if i get pulled over, i can say i was already driving.”

i’m about to take a step down the stairs when a hand wraps around my forearm, pulling me back.

“don’t be stupid, y/n,” he says, “you’re gonna crash, and i’m not living with your death on my fucking conscience.”

i turn to look at him, a heated glare in my eyes, “i’m not staying with you.”

a mischievous smirk spreads across his lips as he pushes me toward his open door, “yeah, you are.”

i stumble into the warm house, a stark contrast to the weather outside, and i just get my bearing when i hear the door shut, Cole flipping the lock and walking idly past me towards the living room.

“what the fuck is your problem?” i huff, shaking my head as i succumb to my fate, removing my coat and hanging it on a coat hook next to his door.

“my problem?” he looks over at me astonished, “i’m trying not to let you die.”

i roll my eyes, my arms crossing over my chest.

“i would not have died.” but he’s not paying any attention to my words, his eyes locked on something else entirely.

i follow his line of sight straight down to my breasts, inadvertently pushed up from my crossed arms, and my nipples pebbling through my thin dress.

“oh my god,” i hiss, moving my arms to cover my breasts, “fucking pig.”

his eyes snap up to mine before he rolls them.

“get over yourself, it’s nothing special.”

for some reason, i feel offended. not that him looking at them was great, but the way he shrugs it off and implies my tits are average?

“oh fuck off,” i fume, “people would pay to see these.”

he smirks, wiggling his eyebrows a few times, “you saying people pay to see you naked?”

“what? no!” i’m at a loss for words, not an easy achievement for most people, and yet a common occurrence when i’m around him.

“pretty sure that’s what you implied. and i’m sorry to let you down, but i’m not paying twenty bucks to see your rack.”

i gape, blinking at him in shock, “you couldn’t even pay me fifty to see these!”

i’m not even sure why i’m letting this conversation drag on; why i’m even entertaining it.

i sigh, stalking past him and bumping into his shoulder as i make my way to the living room.

“why would i pay when i could see them for free?” he chuckles at my lame tantrum, following behind me.

“what makes you think that?” i sneer, dropping down on the couch, Cole quick to follow.

“well that’s why you took the job, right?” he laughs, “it’s why you were constantly putting me in the spotlight of the team tiktoks and why you were always so buddy-buddy with me? you’re into me.”

i stare back at him in anger, but also frustration. frustration that anyone would think i would take a job just for a man.

“let’s set things fucking straight,” i snap, “i took the job because it was good pay and i grew up here, therefore, the Canadiens are my team and the plan was always to work for them. long before you showed up.

“i put you in the spotlight of the tiktoks because you’re the fan favorite. you have teeny-bopper girls fawning over your nice guy act and for some reason they fucking eat it up. and finally, i was ‘buddy-buddy’ with you because i thought you were a nice fucking guy and you made me believe we could be friends. never would i ever make a career decision for a fucking guy.”

i’m absolutely seething by the end of my rant, one knee bent on the couch and my body twisted to face him.

“sure.”

that one worded response sets me off. i don’t know what it is about Cole Caufield that gives him the ability to get under my skin like nobody else has, but i’m absolutely rageful.

“god, i can’t believe i ever fucking liked you!” i freeze. the words slipped out before i even had a second to process them, and now i watch as a cocky grin paints his face.

“so you admit, you like me.”

“liked. past tense,” i tell him, “i fell victim to your charming, nice guy facade. but never again.”

“you keep saying that!” he grunts, “i am a nice guy!”

“yeah? well, you certainly pick and choose who to be nice to, and for some reason, i’m not on that list.”

i can’t understand for the life of me why i’m suddenly feeling emotional, but i decide in the moment to blame it on pent up frustration. i always have been an angry crier.

“which is fine,” i sniffle, “but god, you didn’t have to be such a fucking dick. i liked you and i thought you liked me; but then all of a sudden you switched up. you started hating me, and i don’t even know what i did!”

Cole seems at a loss for words, shocked by sudden change of emotions. but, he also seems confused, his brows furrowed and a frown upon his lips.

“you don’t know?” he huffs, “i literally asked you out like five times, y/n! and you rejected me every single time!”

now it’s my turn to be confused, “what? no, you didn’t.”

“uh, yeah, i did! i asked if you wanted to go out for drinks after games like five times and every time you said no!”

realization dawns on me, clarity filling my head, and i can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.

“why are you laughing?!” Cole groans, head falling onto the back of the couch and hands covering his face.

“because,” i giggle, “this is ridiculous.”

“how?” his response is muffled by the palms of his hands, but i can hear the frustration in his voice.

“because you asked me out five times and all five times, i thought you were just asking if i wanted to join the team for drinks!”

his hands fly away from his face, head snapping up to look at me, “what?!”

i nod my head, overcome by a fit of giggles.

“you thought i was asking you…. to hang out as a group?”

“yes!” i cackle, “and i get uncomfortable in crowded bars, so i made excuses! jesus, Cole! we’ve hated each other for years because i misunderstood your idea of a date!”

Cole is silent for a moment, staring off in front of him at the news playing on the tv, before he slowly begins chuckling.

“oh my god,” he laughs, a hand slapping down on his thigh and making me laugh even harder, “so you hate me now, don’t you?”

“oh yeah,” i nod, “you were a dick!”

“hey!” he chuckles, “you weren’t very nice to me either! i mean just like fifteen minutes ago you shoved an ipad into my chest!”

“you deserved that.” i point to him, narrowing my eyes.

he shrugs, “alright, yeah, i deserved that.”

the room goes mostly quiet, Cole watching the news, while my sight is drawn to the window, watching the snow cascade down to the ground.

we sit there for at least half an hour, him flipping through channels and me watching the blizzard, before a lightbulb goes off in my head.

“hey, i have an idea.” i announce, catching Cole’s attention.

“hmm?”

“i’m sure we both still have some pent up anger and frustration, we can’t exactly just erase the past couple years of hating each other,” he hums for me to continue, “how about a snowball fight?”

he glances over at me with a singular raised brow, “a snowball fight? what, like we’re six?”

“exactly!” i nod, “we get to pelt each other with snowballs and let out any residual anger towards each other, and then we get to start anew. get a clean slate. whadd’ya say?”

his eyes flicker between me and the window for several moments before he nods, “i say let’s do it.”

with that, we scurry from the couch, bundling back into our coats and toque’s, he even lends me a pair of gloves, and then we’re running out into the thick blanket of snow that covers the ground.

we agree on fifteen minutes to build our shields, hurrying to build snow walls as high as we can, and once i deem the ten minutes over, i’m hiding behind my wall, crafting snowballs into a pile beside me.

grabbing one in my hand, i peer out from behind my shield, watch as Cole does the same, and on instinct my hand flexes forward, throwing the snowball as hard as i can.

obviously not from here, Cole’s shield crumbles upon my third snowball throw, making me cackle as the snow cascades down upon him.

he looks over at me with a glare and i duck down, listening to the pelt of snowballs against my shield, but then it goes quiet and all i can hear is the crunch of snow until suddenly it stops.

my brows thread together as i keep an ear out for any sound, but just as i’m about to peer over my wall, it comes crumbling down, and i look up to find the culprit grinning victoriously.

“hey! no fair!” i huff, throwing a snowball right at his chest. he gapes back at me in astonishment.

“you knocked mine down too!” he shouts, a snowball hitting me in the shoulder.

“yeah, but that was an accident! yours was just poorly made!” another snowball to his shoulder, “mine was made well, you knocked it down on purpose!”

he shrugs, taking off and crunching through the snow as he tries to get away. he stops to pick up more snow and i take my chance to throw, hitting him square in the back.

but he doesn’t even turn around, tossing a snowball over his shoulder. i attempt to dodge it but my efforts are in vain as the snow lands directly on the top of my head, making me scoff in frustration.

“rude!” i yell, taking aim and hitting him directly in the back of the head. snow sticks his hair and he whips around to look at me, but upon seeing me; my hat knocked off and snow covering the top of my head, he starts laughing.

“that’s it!” i call out, stomping over to where he’s fallen onto his butt mid-laughter, his eyes squeezed closed as he chuckles with glee.

towering over him, i hold a snowball in my hand, not throwing it, but instead smashing it upon the top of his head.

his laughter falters, his eyes flying open to scowl up at me as i begin to giggle.

“you’re right, that was pretty funny!” i laugh, but i don’t make it long before i step forward, my foot hitting an icy patch of grass, and i fall forward, a squeal leaving my lips as i land on top of him.

“shit.” i breathe out.

“guess you really did fall for me.” he quips and i roll my eyes, but despite the cheesy line and the freezing cold air, the spots in which his hands rest on my sides are burning.

“that was so corny..” i tell him.

“yeah?” he raises a brow, one hand leaving my side, and i almost mourn his touch, but then a handful of snow is being shoved down my coat and i’m squealing, wiggling on top of him as the snow begins to melt into icy water and trickle down my body.

“oh my god, Cole!” i moan in frustration, my face twisting in discomfort.

“don’t do that.” he stiffens, his hands holding me still on top of him.

confusion pinches my face, but then i feel it, his half hardened cock pressing against my thigh.

my teeth sink into my bottom lip, a spark running through my body, but i push myself off of him, standing up and brushing off my coat.

“ya know what sounds good?” i ask him, stepping back as he stands as well.

“what?” he grunts, a small glare pointed my way.

“hot cocoa,” i smile, “or… something else to warm us up.”

“i don’t know if i have cocoa, but i have coffee.”

i nod, “that works! it’ll warm us up and wake us up!”

Cole trudges into the house and i follow suit, but despite my attempt to change the subject, my mind is still stuck on him being turned on.

a gust of air blows through as i reach the door, a shiver traveling down my spine, and i quickly step inside, shutting the door behind me.

i shed my coat and gloves before kicking off my shoes, hanging my now damp hat on the coat hook over my coat.

trailing behind him into the kitchen, i watch as he opens cupboards, rifling through them. i hop up on the counter, legs pressed together, sitting silently until he huffs and turns around.

“i-” he trails off and i follow his eyesight back down to my breasts for the second time today, my nipples stiff and poking through my dress from the previous frigid air.

“Cole.” i snap my fingers, grabbing his attention as his eyes flick back up to my face.

“hmm?”

“god, if you wanna see ‘em, all you gotta do is ask,” i joke, flipping my hair over my shoulder as Cole steps forward.

“can i see them?” he asks, a wicked smirk plastered to his lips.

my lips part, my eyes wide as i blink back at him.

is he serious right now?

surely he’s joking, but i call his bluff, my thumbs slipping through the shoulder collars of my shirt and pulling them down.

i pull my arms out, the top of the dress now only covering my chest, but he continues staring at me. leveling him with a raised brow as i pull the top of my dress down.

i have every intention of just slowly teasing him, but the fabric glides too quickly, my breasts fully exposed to the chilly air now.

his eyes widen and he stumbles slightly in his hurried steps toward me. my teeth sink into my bottom lip, watching him admire my naked chest.

“you actually-” he cuts himself off with a chuckle, his hands hover in the air before them as he peers at me, “can i?”

i nod, and when his cold skin meets mine, a chill runs through me.

lightly pawing at my breasts, his thumb and pointer fingers pinch my nipples, making my back arch involuntary at the stinging touch.

“Cole.” i whimper through a quiet moan.

he steps even closer, nudging my legs open with his body, and my hands reach out, locking around the back of his neck.

“can i kiss you?” i breathe out.

“fuck yeah.”

i pull him forward, finding his lips with mine in a long overdue kiss, and what starts out slow and careful, quickly heats up into something intense and messy.

my tongue slips into his mouth, pushing and battling against his as he continues playing with my nipples, pinching and pulling, rubbing them between us.

a moan reverberates from my mouth and into his, causing him to smile into the kiss.

“you don’t understand how long i’ve been waiting for this.” he mutters, his lips brushing against mine.

“probably not as long as i have.” i tell him honestly, earning a light giggle from him.

his lips capture mine once more, but his hands divert their attention, trailing down my body and pushing my dress down as a result.

“yeah, i forgot, you have the hots for me.” he grins as i lift my hips, allowing him to pull my dress down my legs and fling it onto the counter.

i roll my eyes, wrapping my legs around his waist lightly, “shut up and take me to your room.”

“yes, ma’am.”

i’m almost frightened by the way my core dampens from his reply. i’ve never generally been a dominant person in the bedroom, but there’s something about him that makes me want to become one.

when we reach his bedroom, i unhook my legs, my front sliding down his body and rubbing against his hardened length as my feet lower to the floor.

my hands find the waistband of his sweatpants, still slightly damp from the snow, and i peer at him through my lashes. when he breathes out a lust-driven ‘yes’ in approval, i push them down, allowing him to kick them off and free his cock from the restraint. he pulls his shirt over his head in a rush, leaving him naked before me in all his glory.

tight muscles and chiseled abs make my mouth water, a sculpted v-line leading to his thick cock.

well, now i know why he has his nickname.

leaning in until my lips are nearly pressing against his ear, i whisper an unsure demand, “get on the bed.”

Cole swallows harshly, nodding as he pulls me toward his mattress. sitting on the edge, he looks up at me, awaiting approval, but i shake my head.

“in the middle.” i clarify.

he follows my orders, sitting prettily in the middle of the bed. an animalistic sensation comes over me, urging me to crawl forward on the mattress, and when i do, i hover over him.

one hand rests upon his abs, tracing the results of his stern training regime, while the other presses into the mattress, holding myself up.

i can feel him shiver underneath me as my nails graze across his torso before i find myself trailing down, wrapping my fingers around his erection and giving a small tug.

a hiss falls from his lips, his jaw clenching as his hips jerk up into my fist.

“aww, look at you.” i coo. i bring my hand up to my mouth, licking up my palm before spitting into it twice, rubbing my fingers into it to lubricate it well.

gripping his cock once again, i slowly begin flicking my wrist, pumping as i stare down at him.

shaky curses and tight grunts come from his mouth, his body writhing underneath me, and the sight is enough to make my core pulse, wetness dampening my panties.

i take the moment to trail wet kisses up his chest, starting from the top of his abdomen and leading all the way up to his collarbone.

“so good for me.” i hum, backing away to spit on his cock.

my thumb rubs over his tip, the mix of precum and saliva helping my hand pump his dick smoothly, and he groans loudly, eyes squeezing shut as his face scrunches in pleasure.

“please, y/n,” he whimpers, his voice cracking, “i’m not gonna last. i wanna be inside you.”

“yeah? you think you deserve my pussy?”

i don’t even know who i am anymore, but i find myself liking the newfound confidence that fills my body.

“yes,” he nods harshly, “yes, please!”

my hand stills, releasing him and flattening against the comforter to wipe off the spit.

“condom?” i question, and he points to his bedside drawer, watching closely as i lean over and grab one.

i open the foil packet carefully, discarding it on the nightstand and pinching the tip before slowly rolling it onto him. my motions earn another huffed out breath of pleasure from his lips.

my thumbs hook into the waistband of my panties, pushing them down and off my legs before i throw them to the floor.

crawling back over top of him, i grasp his cock in my hands one more time, rubbing it through my slick folds. it’s glides smoothly through my wetness, and my head tips back as it rubs against my clit.

“fuck, Cole.”

lining him up with my entrance, i sink down slowly, the tip of his cock penetrating my core and stretching out my walls. the stinging pleasure worsens as i sink down lower, and i begin slowly bouncing with shallow movements until it becomes easier to slide onto his erection.

his hands grip my hips tightly, fingertips digging into my skin, but i can’t bring myself to care as i finally take all of him.

“shit.” he curses through gritted teeth, voice tight.

i slowly begin grinding my hips, my clit brushing against his pelvic bone with every movement, and i cry out as i begin bouncing on top of him, his hips meeting mine with shallow thrusts upwards.

my jaw slackens, breathy moans drifting out as i work my hips up and down, listening intently to the sound of his cock sliding through my wetness as my walls draw him in with each downward motion.

“god, you’re so big.” my words are shaky, my hands clutching at his chest in order to support myself.

soon, my legs begin to tire, shaking in both pleasure and exhaustion, and Cole catches on quickly, taking over the brunt of the work as he begins to pound into me from below.

the intensity of his thrusts sends me falling forward, my tits pressing against his chest, and he takes of the position, capturing my lips with his in a heated manner.

his lips press against mine, his tongue exploring my mouth, and it’s a struggle for me not to cry out as the new angle causes the tip of his cock to graze my g-spot with every thrust.

my stomach begins tightening with slowly building pressure, my walls clenching around him with my impending orgasm.

my toes curl, and knowing i’m close, i break our kiss, snaking my hand between our bodies in order to rub my clit.

“fuck, i’m close.” he gruffs, his hips smacking against mine as his thrusts speed up.

i nod my head against him, “me too.”

my fingers circle my clit, pushing me further and further towards the edge, but before i can get there, Cole is one step ahead.

he lets out a harsh grunt, spilling out into the condom as he fucks me through his release, and the feeling of his dick pulsating inside me spurs on my own climax.

my breath hitches, toes curling as i cum around his cock, my fingers slowing down on my clit.

slumping entirely against him, my head lays against his shoulder, his chest rising and falling rapidly beneath me.

“what the fuck just happened?” i pant, rolling off of him in favor of burying myself into his side.

his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me tighter to him as he chuckles.

“a goddamn christmas miracle.”

i giggle loudly, a snort escaping me and in turn making him laugh harder.

when we finally calm down, our breathing evening out and our bodies feeling somewhat more relaxed, Cole gets out of the bed, disposing of the condom in his en-suite bathroom trashcan before returning with a wet rag.

i open my legs, my hips jerking as he cleans me up, and i wait patiently as he pulls on a pair of boxers, throwing me a pair and a clean t-shirt.

i pull them on quickly, eager to cuddle more, and when he finally joins me back in the bed, my leg is quickly thrown over his hips, my arm resting on his chest as my head gets buried in his neck.

“you’re a cuddler.” he states the obvious, his hand running up and down my back as i hum in agreement.

“is that a problem?” i question, eyes fluttering shut, and i can feel him shake his head.

he pulls me in tighter, pressing a kiss to my forehead, “just an observation for the future.”

“the future?”

“oh yeah, you’re not getting rid of me now.” he tells me, but i can hear it plain as day; he’s nervous.

i heave out a deep sigh, my body melting into his before i answer, “wasn’t planning on it.”

#faithlynn’s 12 days of kinkmas #cole caufield #cole caufield x reader #cole caufield imagine #cole caufield smut #cole caufield fic #cole caufield blurb #mtl canadiens #nhl smut #nhl fic #nhl imagine #faithlynn’s writings <3

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bagopucks · 5 months

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C. Caufield - Linear Progress

✄————————————

Cole Caufield x Fem!reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 3.3k

Warning(s): anxiety, mention of depressive episode, sad!cole

These upcoming fics are all things from my notes app from last season, doctored and given a finish so I could post! Some of these are so long it’d be a shame to just delete.

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His smile barely reached his eyes. His laughter was distant and distracted. Cole, so used to keeping good posture to feel like he measured up to those around him, stood about as poorly as a pregnant mother. His gloved hands clasped in front of himself as he shifted his weight from skate to skate.

I couldn’t take pictures of him like that. People would never notice the vulnerable state he was in, but I did. He looked so nervous. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but on the ice. And I knew that’s exactly what was going through his mind, because he’d pulled all the stops that morning trying to get me to call off for him. He’d tried saying he didn’t feel good, then he tried saying he just wanted to lay in bed. Then he tried faking a headache, and he tried tricking me into thinking he had gone back to bed. By the time I got him into the car, Cole’s attitude had done a complete switch. All of a sudden it was like work was the best place on earth. We had parted ways to do our separate things, but when I came down to the ice with my camera, I could sense Cole’s discomfort from a mile away.

“You wanna hit something other than the glass, Coley?” I watched Cole through the lens of my camera. Watched the way he brushed off the chirp with a quiet chuckle and a nod. He just wanted to stay home. I should have let him. Practice was only an hour, but it certainly felt longer. Between everybody’s endless digs on the blonde, and the occasional glances in Cole’s direction from coaches, I could see his facade cracking and fading.

I didn’t capture near as many photos as I would have liked, but my boss would just have to use what the other photographers got. Surely we’d have more than enough. I tucked my camera back into its bag by the time practice ended, watching the boys leave the ice, and eventually walking toward the visitors tunnel. I stopped short though, when I heard a puck slam off the glass. I turned back to the ice, my heart sinking in my chest at the frustration on Cole’s face.

“Fucking empty net.” His voice carried through the empty arena.

This had nothing to do with the empty net in the present. It had to do with the empty net he missed one week prior. That seemed to have started his scoring drought.

“Fuck.” He spat out. My brow furrowed as he skated toward the bench, my body tensing in anticipation as he raised his stick, clearly ready to slam it off the top of the bench wall until it broke. Before he could even bring the stick down, his entire body relaxed. He found reason within his anger. Or maybe he had simply given up. I watched Cole throw the stick aside in the bench instead, saying, ‘fuck it,’ before he stomped down the tunnel toward the locker room.

He had just returned from an injury. Adjusting was normal. Relearning some things was normal. But Cole wasn’t patient with himself. He never was. I carried my camera down the separate hall, half tempted to retrieve Cole’s stick, but ultimately deciding against it. He’d be embarrassed if he knew I’d watched him lash out like that. He hated when people saw any side of him that wasn’t the usual giggly and fun side.

I stole away to my office to finish a few things before I received a message from him, trying to speed up the process of downloading photos to my computer as Cole’s face popped up on my phone screen. I quickly answered the call.

“Hey, babe-“

“I wanna go home.” So much for pleasantries, but I hadn’t expected them in the first place.

“Give me maybe.. fifteen minutes, okay?” Silence followed my request for time.

“Please.” I heard his voice echo, my brow furrowing as I glanced toward my phone.

“Are you in the bathroom?”

“I just wanna go home.” I could have sworn I heard Cole’s voice quiver.

“You can come sit in my office while you wait.”

“I’m okay.” I wanted to pinch my nose. To grab him by the shoulders and shake the stubbornness out of him.

“Why don’t you go wait in the car then?” I bit my lip as I looked back at my computer.

“‘Kay. But.. just fifteen minutes, right?”

My eyes lit up when the photos finally loaded onto the computer.

“Less than fifteen.” I answered, “I’ll be fast.”

I tried to stay true to my word, but when my boss stopped me in the hall, I knew it would be far longer than fifteen minutes. A half an hour longer to be exact. When I got out of her office, I ran as quickly as I could through the building to get to the parking lot. I felt horrible when I noticed Cole’s head lift. Our car the only one left in the players lot.

I tossed my camera in the back and climbed into the passenger seat without so much as a word. I wasn’t in trouble, but I knew Cole wasn’t thrilled.

“You said fifteen minutes.” Cole hadn’t wasted much time getting the car started and pulling out of the lot.

“I’m sorry. My boss stopped me, and- god you know how she is.”

“Talks for hours, yeah.” Cole tried to muster a chuckle. He looked so apathetic. So careless. But not in a freeing or jovial way. He simply looked drained and tired.

“What do you wanna do when we get home?” I asked, glancing out the window at the passing scenery. Christmas was just around the corner. Snow covered sidewalks and streets, and Christmas decor was up everywhere.

“I just wanna lay down.” Cole shook his head. I turned my attention to him.

“You could use a hair cut.”

“Not today.”

“Might feel good.” Laying around and doing nothing in the midst of a funk never helped anybody. As easy as it was to laze around, it usually only made one’s mental health worse.

“You can lay with me.” He was stuck on this idea. Too bad I was stuck on my own as well.

“I’ll lay with you if you let me cut your hair.”

Cole didn’t reply. He bit his lip and ignored the proposal. “I have stuff to do today anyway.” I shrugged. I wanted to be there, but if Cole didn’t let me in, there wasn’t much I could do. So if he insisted on laying around all day, I’d busy myself with cleaning, straightening up the few decorations we had yet to put out, working on Christmas cards. Anything to busy myself while he stayed miserable.

“‘Mkay.”

It was the end of our conversation until we got back to our apartment. I carried my things inside behind Cole, who kicked his shoes off and headed straight for our bedroom. I had to stop myself from following after him. Instead, I dropped my camera bag on the love seat and wandered into the dining room to grab my laptop,

He’d come around eventually. It was what I kept telling myself as I turned on some Christmas music and put the few finishing touches on our customized Christmas cards. I sang along quietly, and set my laptop aside when I finished the cards. I saved the design to show to Cole when he felt better, and shot up from the couch to make a glass of hot chocolate.

I ended up making two, and against my better judgement, I carried one down the hall for my lover.

“Cole?” I toed our bedroom door open, spotting his still body curled up under a mess of blankets. His back was turned to the door, but I could tell he had the comforter pulled over half of his face. I sighed, resting the mug on his nightstand before I placed a hand on his arm.

“Made you some hot chocolate.” I whispered, leaning over to kiss his shoulder. I didn’t know if Cole was awake or not, but the affection was needed nonetheless. I tiptoed out of our room and pulled the door shut behind myself, only to return to my own world of lonely Christmas preparation.

I spent close to two hours putting up the last of the decorations and cleaning. I saved the tiny statues of Hermey and Rudolph for the tv mantle, where they always went, but Cole loved being the one to put them up. I stared down at the statues on the coffee table, placing my hands on my hips as I’ll Be Home For Christmas came on from my laptop on the couch. The cozy atmosphere was almost perfect. I just wished Cole didn’t feel so horrible. He deserved to enjoy his holidays. Not worry them away.

I glanced back toward the hall, hearing an ear splitting shatter as if on cue.

“Cole?” I shouted, panic seizing my chest as I took off through the hallway, making a sharp turn to push our bedroom door open. Cole was out of bed, wearing nothing but boxers, holding an arm out toward the door.

“It’s fine! I’m fine! I got it!” I looked toward the floor to see the mug I’d set on his dresser in pieces. I grimaced. His favorite mug. Hot chocolate ran across the floor, and I was quick to jog into the bathroom to grab a towel.

“Here.” When I returned, I tossed the towel on the floor, covering the small puddle of liquid. “I’ll go grab something to wipe the floor down.. you start picking up glass.” I left the bedroom, going to rummage through the kitchen for my floor cleaner. When I found it, I grabbed a few paper towels as well, returning in record time.

Cole was knelt on the floor, the towel from the bathroom pushed aside as he collected glass from the floor. I noticed the sporadic and heavy rise and fall of his back, the way his chest heaved. His hair covered his eyes, and despite not being able to see his face, I knew he was upset.

“Coley.” I made my way over and knelt next to him.

“I’m almost done.” Cole’s voice quivered. I set the items in my hands down, gently resting my hand on his cheek, turning his head to face me. Cole’s eyes were wet with tears, his cheeks flushed and stained by the tracks of tears that had already fallen.

“Oh, Cole.” I kissed his forehead, shaken by the sob that escaped his lips as he set the collected glass down atop a paper towel. I sat down on the floor and pulled him in. He’d been kneeling before, but he barely thought twice about it when his body fell into my own, back pressed into my chest while I held onto him tightly.

“I’m sorry.” The words came out through broken cries, but I merely shook my head and rubbed his side with one of my hands.

“It’s okay.. everything is gonna be okay.” Cole didn’t have days like these often. Where everything bubbled over and became too much to bear. He was good at keeping himself in check. In fact, he was usually the one taking care of me on days like these. But I never missed an opportunity to assure him I was there in moments when he felt he couldn’t function. When the dark cloud looming over was simply too much to bear. I rested my chin on Cole’s shoulder, pressing occasional kisses to his body to help distract and ease his mind.

“Cole,” I whispered as he started to calm down. He wiped the tears from his cheeks and slowly turned to look at me. “Let’s fix this mess, okay? Then we can relax.” He seemed reluctant to get up, and I knew he’d sit there all day if I didn’t take initiative. “C’mon.” I directed his attention back to the glass, helping him retrieve the last few pieces before he got up to throw them away. I made quick work of cleaning the floor, wiping down any sticky spots before I had stood up to put the towel in the hamper, and throw the paper towels away. When Cole returned, he stood in the doorway, hugging himself for warmth, or maybe still out of discomfort. I turned to look at him, flashing a sad smile.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to..” as if I didn’t know that. As if he hadn’t already apologized. I crossed the floor to meet him in the doorway, wrapping my arms around his body. I gently rubbed his back, taking note of the tight muscles.

“It was an accident. It’s okay.” I whispered, “you wanna talk about what’s been going on?” I looked up at him, earning a quiet ‘no,’ in response.

“Cole, you were just crying. It might help some.” I tucked a lock of his long blonde hair behind his ear, then trailed my hand down his face, following his jaw.

“I just wanna lay back down.”

There it was. That constant avoidance.

“At least lay with me on the couch. All the decorations in the living room are set out.” I rubbed the small of his back, earning a careful nod. “I’m gonna grab a sweatshirt first. It’s a little cold.” I moved my arms around to his stomach, nodding and pressing a kiss to his shoulder before I slipped out of the bedroom.

There was no promise that Cole wouldn’t lay back down in our bed, but I had to trust him a little.

When I got back into the living room, I shut the lights out and plugged the Christmas tree in. I grabbed one of our Christmas blankets and laid it out on the couch, waiting for him as I placed a throw pillow at one end. I laid down and pushed the blanket aside so I could pull it over us later. I grabbed the tv remote and started sifting through channels, smiling at Cole when he finally came through the hall. He still didn’t have pants on, but his sweatshirt sleeves were pulled over his hands, and he had the plastic end of one of the strings in his mouth. As cozy as he could get. I parted my legs for him to lay down between them, and he did with little to no hesitation. Cole’s back rested against my chest, his head finding a home near my shoulder. I wrapped my legs around his own and swiftly covered up with the blanket.

“You finished decorating without me?” I heard him sniff quietly, still recovering from the crying fit he had minutes ago.

“It had to get done.” I rested a hand on his head, gently combing my fingers through his hair. “I left Rudolph for you.” I gestured toward the coffee table with my free hand.

“Are we still visiting my family over Christmas?”

“Absolutely, Cole.” I smiled. “You’ve been looking forward to that since November.” When the silence settled between us, I moved my free hand to rest atop one of his own. I dragged my thumb across his knuckles, traced the lines in his hand, flipped it over to massage his palm.

“I just want it to be over.. ya know?” Cole’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“What do you want to be over?” I matched his volume, continuing to rub his hand and play with his hair. One little change might throw him off.

“I just wanna be good again.” He sighed, turning his head against my shoulder to look up at the ceiling.

“At hockey?”

“Yeah. I can’t even hit the net.” Cole closed his eyes, trying to hide his frustrations.

“Give it time, Cole. It’s all a part of recovery. It’s not a linear thing.” I whispered. “And we’re gonna go visit your family in a week. You should be focused on that. I know you wanna be back on the ice, but if you rush you could hurt yourself.”

“What if they don’t resign me?” My movement halted. I lifted my head from the pillow to peek down at him.

“Why would they do that?”

“Because I can’t play.”

“Cole.” I squeezed his hand. “You’re gonna recover. You’ll get back to playing hockey. Your skill hasn’t just gone away.” I could understand his concerns to a degree, but I knew these worries were all in his head. “If they decide to ship you off it’s because they’re morons. It’ll have nothing to do with your recovery. Injuries happen, and you can’t control them.” His silence was deafening. Sometimes I hated how hard Cole thought about things.

“I really like it in Montreal.”

“Cole.” A tension accompanied my tone. One that made his eyes fall toward the opposite end of the couch. “You can’t trap yourself in this endless cycle of negative thoughts.” I began to play with his hair once again. “What if they do want you? What if you recover so well that they decide to sign you for more years? What if you get a better contract than the last? What if this injury turns you into a superstar?” Cole shifted against me, clearly displeasured by the combative tactic I was using.

“Okay?”

“Cole. Anything can happen. Good or bad. You can’t control it.. so let’s just not think about it. It’s tearing you apart.”

“Because it’s my future! Don’t you get it?” Cole sat up, careful not to hurt me. I was quick to sit up as well, folding my legs criss-crossed on the couch as I watched his head fall into his hands. His once calm breathing began to pick up once again.

“The future isn’t going to sneak up on you Cole! The future is a second from now. A day, three days. It’s a fucking week or a month. It’s not going to come and assault you in an alleyway one day. You’re thinking too much. The physician, physical therapist, your coaches, they’re all working with you. They’re all making sure you get back on the ice. And they’ve been telling you that you’re recovering well. You’re doing great! Why don’t you see that?” I was impatient as I waited for an answer. Waited for Cole to look at me, or show some sign of understanding.

“I don’t know.” His voice quivered again. His chest heaved with a deep and quiet cry. He desperately needed that week off. He needed that week with his family. With his mother and his dog. Olive was the best at cheering Cole up.

I slid across the couch, draping one of my arms over his back as Cole cried quietly.

“It’s okay to be worried,” I whispered, resting my other hand on his thigh. “But you can’t let it consume you. You have to talk to people.” I didn’t know how we got there, but I knew it was because of his own stubborn behaviors. If he simply would have spoken to me before, we could have worked this out. And even despite knowing that, I couldn’t be mad. I couldn’t blame Cole for whatever reason he chose not to communicate, because I knew he didn’t do it to spite me or hurt me for not understanding. “You can’t let yourself get here, Cole. This constant state of panic won’t help anything.” I pressed a kiss to his head. “Things are going to turn out okay, but you need to allow yourself to see that. Please… let me help you see that.” I felt his body lean into my own, and I wrapped my arms around him once again. “There’s nothing to worry about.” I whispered, “take it one day at a time.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

#nhl imagine #nhl x reader #cole caufield blurb #cole caufield x reader #cole caufield imagine #cole caufield #ella’s inbox #ella’s updates #ella’s asks

213 notes · View notes

angelwithdemonictendencies · 8 months

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i wear my shame like tar in a vacant town square, spitting out feathers like blood; you touch my hand and ask if i'm ready to go home.

cc22 x reader: the two of you never go out of style (ft. best friend ax72).

(warnings: longest story yet (12.5k, get comfortable), obviously blasphemous filth (i'm getting back in the swing of it, i think), unprotected penetrative sex (m on f), oral sex (f on m), choking and hair pulling and oral fixation and all of my usual nonsense (this one is a little touchy, don't ask me why), bodily fluids (you guys know the drill), depiction of self-doubt and burnout and failure and general unhappiness (you always get a happy ending, though! because you deserve a happy ending), don’t read if you’re not 100% sure.) gif is not mine.)

(a/n: favorites! this story poured out of me over the course of the last couple of weeks, all thanks to one of my friends who showed me a picture of cc22 on pinterest (thank you, country music festival season. you will be missed). and here we are! with many creative liberties taken, you have yourself a story with my typical mythical and religious imagery, way too much description, dialogue that no one would say, and plot holes the size of canyons. but you guys keep indulging me anyways, and i love you and thank you for that. you're a stylist in this one! (something fun and different, i think). as for takeways - too often we get caught up in what we think we should have accomplished by now, what we think others expect from us, how terribly we must be letting them down. deep breath and let it go, favorites. all you can do is show up, over and over again. that will always be enough. you will always be enough. enjoy this piece of my heart until inspiration next strikes and please tell me what you think. go canucks (under el capitano hughes, even! that c on his jersey stands for chokes out his girl). my snakes say hi to your snakes. love and gentleness and strength to you, always always always.)

the first car ride to your new client's house was stressful, to say the least. and that wasn't even with arber's haphazard driving style taken into account.

"jesus," you bit out from the passenger seat, "i'd prefer to be alive for this meeting, bear."

"relax," he said, taking a right. you didn't have to be looking at him to know he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "and stop with the fidgeting. this isn't an interview. you're already hired."

you dropped your hands to your sides, stopped twisting your rings around your fingers as he had requested.

you exhaled a deep breath. he was right, after all. you already had the job. that honestly wasn't what you were worried about. you were worried about styling someone who wasn't arber. that was entirely new territory.

after all, you had known arber practically your entire life. he had been your best friend, your first boyfriend, then your best friend again. he was the number one person in your life, the person you felt most comfortable with.

you had been the first person he hugged after his family when he signed with the habs, the person who he called to pick him up after a night out, the one who he asked for help when he was texting a new girl.

so, when he had asked you to be his full-time stylist, you had dropped everything, said yes immediately.

to be fair, though, you hadn't had to drop much. you knew he had asked you partially to be kind, as the offer came during the worst period of your life. freshly dropped out of school, cheated on and broken up with, without a purpose or direction in sight, arber had been the one to extend a hand, offer you a new dream like it was nothing but a jacket in the cold.

and it was your dream, genuinely. you had been studying at school to be a fashion journalist, aspiring to work in new york one day, have an office in a skyscraper, read your pieces in the print of a glossy magazine.

but things change. things fall apart. and things get glued back together again like china teacups.

you were so, so grateful, though. you loved your job. you loved bringing out the best in arber, you loved discovering new sides of the fashion industry, you loved the travel and the events and the fact that your best friend was your employer.

sometimes though, you couldn't help but feel like you were missing something, like your heavenly wings had been sawed off, leaving only dissipated potential and thick blood running down your back. and the weight. oh, how you felt the weight of your wings even though they were gone, stolen.

you felt the weight now, as arber pulled you both into the driveway, parked, turned to you. "deep breath, okay?"

you obeyed, your exhale coming out a little shaky. he put a warm hand on your shoulder, squeezed. "ready to expand your business?"

you gave him a smile, a genuine one. he had always referred to this whole agreement as your business, even though it was entirely his idea.

you nodded, to which he smiled. you both got out of the car and walked to the door. arber rang the doorbell as you straightened out the legs of your pants, even though you had pressed them this morning.

not a big deal, you thought to yourself. just adding another client. just adding another client, that's all, nothing serious.

you knew you were wrong as soon as the door opened.

your new client stood in the doorframe, much shorter than arber and maybe an inch taller than you. he looked like the human embodiment of stability, in all senses of the word. he was broad, so strong looking, you knew it must be impossible to knock him over. but his kind eyes, his warm energy, he just looked so stable. so happy, so secure.

and his smile. what other way was there to take that smile, if not serious as death?

you blinked. arber slapped you on the back, made you cough. had someone been talking?

"this is cole," arber said, shooting you a look that said dial in. he gave cole your name.

you cleared your throat and extended your hand, smiled softly. "pleasure to meet you, cole," you said. "'m excited to start working with you."

you were hit, then, with the full force of his gaze, the entirety of his gorgeous smile. "'d bet you i'm more excited, love," he said, so laidback, enveloping your outstretched hand in his, giving you a first shake.

"easy," arber warned his teammate with a look, referring to the obviously flirtatious tone cole had adopted. cole just smiled.

his palm was rough with wear, with work, and warm with promise. your hand felt heavy in his. you felt like your body might let out a comical sigh of relief at the perfect easiness of his touch.

at that realization, you dropped your hand, brushed your palm on your jeans. you didn't see his eyes follow the movement, nor did you see his jaw work for only a moment.

"i'll leave you to it, then," arber said, clapping his hand in cole's in goodbye. he had told you he would introduce you, but you knew he had things to do, and now the actual work had to begin. your work. surely, you could expand your circle, just a bit, right? make some room?

"thanks again for sharing," cole said to your best friend.

"be good to each other," arber warned like a chastising parent, moving a pointed finger between the two of you.

"if you're anything like wifi," cole said to you, "don't think that'll be hard."

arber shook his head. "oh, she's much better than me," he said, and you knew he believed it, which made you feel those phantom scars on your back. not even close, you thought.

you rolled your eyes, his antics bringing a smile out of you regardless. "sure," you said. "i'll see you tomorrow, bear."

the corner of cole's full mouth ticked up at your nickname for his teammate. he stepped back and held open the door to his house. "after you, love," he said, gentle as anything.

you bowed your head slightly in thanks, partially to hide the flush that now bloomed on your cheeks at the prospect of being alone with cole.

"i hope arber told you that you can trust me, and stuff," cole said, rubbing the back of his neck as you both walked through the entryway. "i know this is kind of out of the blue, and all that, but apparently, i really need your help, so-"

you bit back a grin. "apparently?"

he tilted his head, sucked on his teeth, gave you a guilty sort of smile. "alright," he started, "i didn't think i needed any help in the fashion department." he pulled out a stool at his kitchen countertop for you before walking around to the fridge, beginning to pour two glasses of water.

"did you?" you asked to his back as he faced away. his back that rippled under his t-shirt. which you definitely didn't notice.

there was a goofy, fake accusative look on his face as he turned back to you, placing one water in front of you. "what are you implying?"

you reached across the counter to grab two coasters and set them in front of you both, thanking him. "nothing," you teased, "except that i've seen your instagram, and maybe that my presence here wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

he squinted for a moment, maybe confused, as he leaned forward, resting his forearms on the counter. "well, we agree on that, then," he replied.

a pause that felt like caramel settled between you two for a moment as you held each other's gazes. his, comfortable, and yours, curious.

you cleared your throat, brought up a hand to rub at your shoulder. "so, apart from thinking you don't need a stylist, what else do i need to know?"

"i don't know," he started. his forearms flexed, making the veins in his arms more prominent. "i like hats on gamedays?"

a grin broke across your face like sunlight. you let out a laugh. "yeah?"

"what?" he asked, fake offended again, but his smile was nothing but so utterly pleased.

you shook your head, crossed one leg over the other. "nothing," you said. "just don't know why the clients i attract are dead set on hats, of all things." you were thinking of all the times arber had insisted on a hat, even though you thought his hair had looked just perfect for the camera.

"how did you and wifi meet?" cole asked easily, perhaps also thinking about arber and his colorful hat collection. "or bear, right? that's what you call him?"

you blushed, nodded slightly.

"only if you're comfortable," he clarified, and it surprised you that you actually were. sitting here, in this stranger's house, you felt normal.

"we've known each other since grade school," you began, clasping your hands. "he's my best friend."

"you don't come to the games," cole said, nothing more than an observation.

you shook your head. "not a hockey fan," you admitted.

he tilted his head. "maybe you just haven't been watching the right player, love."

you rolled your eyes at his obvious arrogance. "okay, big guy."

he took a sip of water. "so you guys have always been friends?"

"we dated for about a year in high school," you said, leaning on your clasped hands. "my first boyfriend."

something interesting sparked in his gaze. something you noted. "and?"

you narrowed your eyes. "and some people aren't meant to be dating. arber and i are meant to be friends. why?"

just a bit of a blush crept across his nose. "no reason. how did you get into styling?"

you rubbed at your shoulder blades again. "arber offered me the job." you swallowed, omitted the rest of the story. you were comfortable, but not that comfortable. "he's the first and only person i've styled, up until now. until you."

meaning flooded his eyes. "i'm honored, then."

don't be, you thought, i'm not worthy of something like your honor.

"thanks for making some room for me," he finished, giving you another smile that had your heart feel like it was bubbling.

"if you didn't want a stylist," you asked, trying to slow down your heartbeat. "why am i here?"

"i was catching too much heat from the guys," he confessed, honest and unserious. "and wifi said he could hook me up. said you were the best of the best."

you closed your eyes and gave the slightest shake of your head as you smiled. of course he would say that.

"so, how do you usually start out?" he asked.

you thought to yourself for a minute. you didn't really know. "when i started with arber, i already knew everything about him," you said. "and i don't know anything about you, cole."

"except," he clarified, "that i like hats."

"yes, except that." you let out a low laugh. what must life be like, to take everything so lightly?

"what do you want to know?" he asked, running a hand through his soft-looking hair.

"style is about showing everyone a little more you," you explained. "what do you want people to see when they look at you?"

he scrunched his mouth to the side in thought. "i don't really care what people see." his emphasis told you that he cared about specific people, not people as a collective. what would it be like to be a part of those select few?

you took a breath. what it must be like. "okay. who are you dressing for?"

he appeared confused again, and he wore the expression like a child. "what do you mean?"

you could never be anything but patient with him. what would disappointment look like on him? you shuddered at the thought.

"you mentioned the guys in the locker room. are they your audience? or maybe the girls on social media?" he blinked. "who do you want to look good for?"

"how does arber answer this question?" cole asked.

you pressed your index finger to your lips playfully. "client confidentiality," you explained.

"i want to look good for me," he said. "i play better when i know i look good before the game."

you nodded, making a note of that. "good." his gaze softened into something lovely.

"but i wouldn't be mad if your help meant i get some more edits made of me."

a laugh burst free from your chest, organic and loud. it seemed to echo across the high ceilings, and it echoed in cole's head. "got it. show me your closet?"

you made to get up as he pushed off of the counter, his arms and chest flexing as he did so. you willed your flush to dull, not wanting to give yourself away or make him uncomfortable, although that seemed impossible.

"take me out to dinner first," he joked, making you roll your eyes as he led you to the master bedroom, then to his massive closet. he held the door open for you again.

"do we have enough hats?" you asked sarcastically, your eyes immediately drawn to his excessive collection.

"okay, lay off," he said, grinning, leaning against the doorframe. "they aren't going anywhere."

you panned through his button-downs, his trousers, his ties, overall pretty impressed. "lots of color," you observed. "especially in your accent pieces."

"i like to be a little different," he admitted.

you were glad you weren't looking at him head on. as if his presence wouldn't make him stick out in any crowd, no matter the size.

"you have a lot of nice pieces here," you complimented, finally.

he looked at you with such hope, you melted. "really, love?"

the name made you flutter off the ground, like you had wings again. like they had never been severed off with a rusted blade.

you nodded, met his gaze, decided you could probably live there, drowning in his attention. "yeah, cole. i'm excited to help the world see a little more of you." lucky world.

i'm excited to see more of you, you wanted to say.

something warm swirled in the air around the two of you. "thank you again for taking me on," he said. "you didn't have to, and i'm really happy you're here."

you could have sighed at those words. when was the last time someone had told you that, so explicitly?

you bit your lip. "okay, so wednesday? we can do measurements?" you said, hoping he didn't notice your breathlessness.

"perfect," he agreed.

so, on wednesday, you were back at cole's house, this time with all of your supplies, ready to begin what you hoped would be a wonderful partnership. and you were sure it would be, if only you could stop getting so distracted by your client.

and he was ever so distracting, now, having obviously just showered, flushed from steam, hair damp and dark, his eyes a drowsy and delicious sort of comfortable.

"you came back," he said as you stepped inside past him, past what you could assume was the smell of his shampoo - something fresh and almost floral.

you clutched your clipboard to your chest, looked at him curiously. "of course i did," you said. this was your job, after all. you were dedicated to your business, your craft. to your people. and cole was technically part of that circle now.

he put his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, shrugged. "just happy you're back, 's all."

you bowed your head to hide how much his words meant to you. how could he say things like that? things that meant everything to you, but he said them like they were the easiest thing in the world? like they were just an exhale?

"how was practice?" you asked softly as the two of you walked side by side to his closet. you knew it had been exhausting, at least from arber's curse-filled rambling that had blown up your phone the second his ice time ended. you had empathized with him, but mostly just reminded him to chug some gatorade and suck it up, he was a professional athlete.

the thought of telling cole caufield to suck it up almost made you sick to your stomach.

he blew out a breath. "tough, today," he said. "i won't bore you, though. know you're not a hockey fan." he said the last part with a joking sort of bite.

i want to know, you wanted to say. i want to know about you.

but you didn't want to scare him off, or come across as weird, so you didn't say anything.

"what's your plan for today?" he asked.

right. you had a plan. you put your clipboard between your side and your arm, pulled out your tape measure. "measurements," you said with a smile, almost shyly.

now that you thought about it, taking someone's measurements was an intimate act in itself. standing here, in front of him, you realized how dangerous this was.

was there anything more tense? than to know the width of one's thigh, having never seen it bare? to deeply understand the curve of one's neck, but through numbers, never touch?

"where do you need me?" he asked, and you wondered briefly if he registered why his words made you jittery.

one look at his ghost of a smirk and you had your answer. you cleared your throat. you put a pen behind your ear, tape measure and clipboard in your hands, held your arms up in a t. "like this," you said, and he mirrored you.

you took a breath before closing the space between you, beginning to measure the distance from the center of his chest to his fingertips.

did the silence weigh as heavily on him as it did you? like kindling, one spark away from a wildfire?

you recorded the number on your paper.

"what did you do today?" cole asked you gently, as if not to spook you. you wrapped the measure around his bicep as you thought to yourself.

"not much," you said, thinking about your slow morning, which you had spent drafting something like an article, exploring recent trends among male athletes. something no one would ever read, you were sure.

you were almost embarrassed at your inability to talk to him - keeping everything short, so short, as if keeping distance from a rabid animal.

he didn't seem to notice. "what did you have for lunch, then?"

a small smile began to pull at your mouth. "a grilled cheese."

he tilted his head back and let out something like a moan, something that had you bowing your head to hide your face.

something that made the air scream.

"that sounds amazing," he said as you bent down, held the measure at his feet and began to work it all up to his knee.

"yeah?" you replied, happy to not have to look at him, to have something to do with your hands. "maybe i'll make you one sometime."

there was a pause. "would you?" he asked, voice slow.

you scrunched up your face, met his gaze for only a second before turning back to your task. "yes," you said simply before pulling the measure up to his waist.

the number made your shoulder shake in a rumble of laugh.

"what?" you could hear the glow of a smile in his voice, bouncy and bubbly.

you shook your head. "nothing," you tried. "'m just used to different measurements."

"are you?" he asked. "don't tell me you're thinking about another man right now, love. it'd shatter my heart."

you laughed for real, at that. "it's just that arber is so tall, barely proportionate," you explained, writing on your clipboard again. "and you're-" you faded out, at a loss for words.

how could you even describe him?

"not six four?" cole offered, not even close to offended. almost cocky about it, somehow. he ran his tongue along the edges of his teeth, gave you a grin.

you shook your head. "not six four," you agreed. you twirled your finger in the air, motioning for him to turn around, his arms still in a t.

you now faced his back, became closely acquainted with the damp curls at the nape of his neck, with the practically pornographic indents in his shirt that marked his triceps.

"tall enough, though," he said into the air in front of him, snapping you out of your trace, cockiness oozing from his voice like blueberry syrup. "don't you think, love?"

you thanked every star there had ever been that he couldn't see you.

what could you say, here? what would be the normal thing to say?

"i think so, cole," you squeaked, trying not to let the smell of him so close make you dizzy. if you looked at his face, what would you see? what part of you would that heal?

you held the measure at one end of his full wingspan, pulled it all the way to his other outstretched hand. your fingertips just barely grazed the backs of his hands, only just a brush, and yet it felt like some private secret, like a stolen touch in an ancient ballroom.

you longed to run your hands across the planes of his shoulder blades, check for the wings you were sure you would find.

this golden boy would never have the ugly, jagged scars that you felt marred your own back. no, his wings would be bright and proud and every bit the wonder that he was. this beautiful angel boy would never know the grief and theft that you understood so personally.

"alive back there?" he said, a roughness to his voice that made you shiver.

you nodded although he wouldn't see it, finished your last measurements, cleared your throat, tapped the top of his spine once in finality.

he turned to you. face to face, his smile was so brutal you could have flinched.

"all done, love?" he asked, little more than a whisper. you couldn't stop your gaze from slipping to his mouth, if only for a second, maybe lingering on his full lips before snapping back to his shimmery eyes.

"all done," you repeated, low and heavy. "you should probably do your inseam." you forced a lightness into your tone to dissolve the tension you felt pressed between the two of you. "and don't embellish."

his smirk was nothing like the boys you'd had in the past. there was no trace of cruelty, only a cocky sort of satisfaction. a knowing. "i'd never lie to a pretty girl like you," he rasped. "and besides," he added. "embellishment's not necessary."

you bit back a nervous laugh, tried not to let your mind wander, tried not to wince at the word pretty in his voice ricocheting against your head.

then he was handing you back your tape measure, giving you a number with that smirk on his face.

and then the cockiness was gone, replaced by something soft.

his head tilted ever so slightly as he leaned forward, just an inch, angled his face to your neck before retreating back to meet your gaze again.

your face felt hot, your feet like someone had poured cement over the tops of your shoes.

"you smell nice," was all he said, ever the gentle observation.

you blinked at him, rubbed at your shoulder blades unconsciously. "thank you," you breathed.

all of a sudden he was glowing much too bright, like staring into the midday sun, just this mass of potential, so much potential without even a smidge of doubt.

this potential, his potential, there was no doubt that it would be realized, exceeded even. no doubt at all. beautiful golden angel boy. his wings were too much to bear, just now.

you mumbled an excuse to leave, rushed to gather your things, ignored the confused scrunch of his brow, nodded affirmation about your shopping appointment tomorrow, hurried out the door with a shy goodbye. so rushed, so shy, you missed the way longing invaded his gaze as he opened his front door for you, watched you get into your car and drive away.

you hated the way slow, burning tears ran down your cheeks as you drove, the kind that hang at your jaw and feel like they must leave some kind of mark behind - some kind of ugly scalded scar.

and you weren't mad at him, that would be impossible. you weren't even jealous. you had known for years that you would never get your wings back, and it wouldn't even be the same if you did. to sew them back in would be so painful, so traumatic. so no, you weren't jealous.

it hurt, then, it hurt so terribly to want someone so, so different, someone so much better. you felt as if you would never deserve to bask in the glow of his attention, to hear what his voice sounded like when it was drenched in syrupy sleep, to know what his perfect mouth would feel like on your collarbone.

you went to sleep with a phantom ache. you went to sleep sad.

the next morning was better.

you were at arber's, laying out a couple of options for him to wear to a casual sponsorship event he was attending later.

after your usual catching up while you sorted through some of his shirts, his voice adopted an airy sort of inquiry.

"so," he began, sitting and leaning back against the wall, his elbows resting on his knees. "how's coley? 's he being nice to you?"

you scrunched up your face, laying one shirt down on top of some dark brown trousers. "'course he's being nice to me," you said. "don't think he's got a mean bone in his body."

"alright," arber relented. "you bein' nice to him, then?"

"yeah." you met his eyes, couldn't shake the worry in your tone. "why? did he say something 'bout me being mean?"

you knew the smugness on arber's face all too well. a set up. it made you roll your eyes, throw a balled up t-shirt at him.

he laughed. "i knew it," he said. "since day one. since before day one, actually."

"shut up, bear," you grumbled.

"i'm just excited for you," he defended, still in that teasing tone. "been a while since you've had a crush, eh?"

in reality, you hadn't really had a crush since your fall from grace. since that demon from your past had left you like you were nothing, like you were a pointless chore.

you grabbed a couple pairs of sneakers. "whatever," you said, tried not to sound defeated.

"what does that mean?"

"crushes are meaningless," you said.

"crushes are fun," arber corrected you.

you scoffed. "it's basically painful for me to be around him."

"fuck." arber threw a sock at you. "so you really like him, then." he shrugged to himself. "i called it."

"how could you have possibly called this?" you asked, genuinely, holding a baseball cap next to a sneaker to see if the shades of navy matched. "cole is, like, the opposite of my usual type."

arber laughed again. "and what good has your usual type ever done you?"

you rolled your eyes, despite that fact being absurdly true. "you know you count as part of that demographic, right?"

"with me being the obvious exception," he amended. "as i'm not a sadistic asshole."

you finished laying out his options, stepped back.

"i like the navy one," arber said immediately.

you were nodding already. "i knew you would."

he made to stand up. "so, you seeing him today?"

"we're shopping," you said, taking a breath.

"sounds fun," arber tried. you lack of a response was notable.

"i'm scared," you whispered eventually. "he's just so..."

no words seemed to do him justice.

"good?" arber offered, half shrugging a massive shoulder.

maybe that word did.

"wanna know something?" he asked, slowly draping his arms behind your head and pulling you into a hug. you relaxed into his familiar embrace.

"what?" you said into his chest.

"you are, too."

you carried your friend's words with you like a talisman as you mentally prepared to see cole again.

and when you arrived at your agreed meeting spot, like a vision, he was there, waving at you. and no preparation would have been enough, you realized, as his easy kind of beauty would stay breathtaking no matter how long you knew him.

his hair curled into his face as he pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head, drawing your gaze to the slope of his nose, the symmetry of his high cheekbones.

you rubbed at your shoulder blades and waved back at him. "hey," you said when he was in front of you.

"you came," he said, his voice laced with such pleasantness you could taste the sugar of it on your tongue.

"of course i did," you sing-songed, knowing you had had a conversation like this with him before.

"well, i'm happy i get to see you," he replied as you began to walk side by side. "where to first?"

so you went shopping with your client, and as you did, you couldn't help but recognize how cole had this way of making you feel like showing up was all you ever needed to do.

like the phantom weight of your wings was gone, like they had never been there, because the only you he knew was the one standing in front of him right now.

and that you seemed perfectly enough for him.

every time you held up a shirt to his frame, every time he met your gaze, each accidental brush of a touch - it all felt like something you had dreamed up.

"can i ask you a question, love?" he asked at one point as you both entered a store that specialized in sneakers.

you nodded.

"how come you always wear..." he trailed off, opting instead to gesture to your daily uniform of well fitting jeans and a flawlessly ironed button down.

"how come the stylist isn't more stylish?" you asked, a teasing smile beginning to come free.

"not necessarily." cole shrugged. "you always wear the same thing. just wonderin' if there's a reason."

your heart fluttered at the idea of him observing something about you and wanting to understand the reasons why.

you quickly realized it was probably important to him, from an employer standpoint, to understand his stylist's clothing decisions, and the fluttering wilted.

you looked away. "because it's not about me," you said, picking up a unique looking pair from a shelf.

when you turned to show him, his confused expression startled you. it looked so genuine on him.

"it has to be, sometimes, right?"

no, you wanted to tell him, it's all so much easier when it's not about me. when it's not about what i want. please don't make me think about what i want.

"yeah," you said instead, less than convincing, "right."

and the day continued, successfully, if you said so yourself, as you got a better sense of what cole actually liked to wear. unfortunately, you also got a better sense of who cole was, and that was very much not helping in your desire to stop wanting him.

how his laugh came so often, and still so truly. how his smile never dimmed, a glow that seemed to permeate the thick thorns around your heart. how he asked you more questions about yourself than maybe anyone.

when you suggested a darker color, so as not bring attention away from his eyes, he asked, "where did you learn that?"

and he would listen so intently as you explained how color theory was one of the first things you learned in university.

and he would say, "that must be why you wear red shoes a lot, then. to match with your undertones."

and you would nod and try to hide your blush before it began to match your patent red slingbacks.

and then later he said, "i didn't know you went to university, love. what did you think of it?"

and you would feel embarrassed but still compelled to say, "i didn't finish it." because lying to him about that seemed cruel, stupid, petty. because lying to him seemed impossible.

and he would say, "but what did you think of it?" with no trace of judgement or expectation and you almost didn't ever remember what it was like to have wings, what your fall from grace was like, what that searing blade felt like on your back.

so a smile that was beautiful because it was true would grace your mouth as you told him, "i loved it." and it would feel so deliriously liberating to tell someone that. for someone else to know that you really had loved school, and that dropping out hadn't been what you wanted but what you needed.

and that while you were so, so grateful for what you were doing now, there was a part of you that was so utterly glutted with rage at the fact that someone had taken that from you.

that someone had broken you so critically and completely that something you loved had morphed into something you couldn't manage, something that would only break you more.

and that every day was another day closer to healing, another day closer to being okay with the fact that the past had already happened.

and cole would smile just because you were smiling.

later on, towards the end of your excursion, when he held up a positively dreadful hat that matched definitively nothing, you couldn't help but laugh.

and if your eyes weren't shut you would have seen how something sparkled in his eyes like rippling water.

"c'mon," he pleaded. "it's perfect."

"it's definitely something," you conceded, hating the hat but loving the way he seemed to love it.

"please, love," he begged, and you didn't even know why he was asking you, as it was his money, and at the end of the day, his wardrobe.

you didn't mind the tone his voice had taken on, though, if you admitted it to yourself. he made pleading sound so pretty.

"how about this?" you offered. "we can do a 'one for me, one for you' rule." you met his excited gaze. "to make sure we balance what i think is right and what you want."

"one for me, and one for you," he repeated.

you nodded. "almost like we're working together on an art project, or something."

he laughed, and it was glittery. "but i'm the art project," he responded, delighted at the metaphor.

you wanted to tell him that he was a masterpiece.

the following weekend marked the first preseason game that you would be styling him for.

very early the morning of, you drove over, having already met with arber and gotten him squared away.

"don't you dare make him look better than me," arber warned you on your way out.

you rolled your eyes. "good luck today, bear," you called over your shoulder.

"i'm serious! no playing favorites just because you want to fu-"

you shut the door before he could finish his sentence.

now, here you were, pulling pieces from cole's closet as he sat on the edge of his bed.

"what are you feeling like today?" you asked him as you thumbed through jackets. "brown or black?"

"i'm feeling like that light purple tie over there," cole replied immediately, pointing to the one he was talking about and not answering your question.

you shook your head. "well, we'll do one for me," you said as you grabbed a beautiful soft brown suit, "and one for you," you finished as you plucked the purple tie from its holder.

you completed his look together and then waited in the kitchen for him to change.

you heard his footsteps behind you, causing you to turn. "well," his rough voice asked, "what do you think?"

seeing him made you feel like the wind had been knocked out of you.

but there was something almost sinisterly personal about seeing him in clothes you had styled him in, a collaboration of his likes and your knowledge, a combination of him and you, right in front of you.

just as you had imagined, the soft brown complimented his coloring beautifully, the purple adding the perfect pop of spontaneity.

would it be like this every time? would he always feel like best thing you had ever done?

"trying to take your silence as a compliment, love," he joked, and you scolded yourself that he had even gone a second without knowing how beautiful he looked.

you approached him, then, reached up to adjust his collar, one of the first times you had willingly and unnecessarily thrust yourself into his personal space. which he noticed, by his sudden intake of breath, the way his chest rose and fell.

"look so handsome, cole," you told him honestly.

and you'd tell him a thousand times if he kept looking at you like this, like you were the sweetest thing he'd ever seen. like you were unscarred. or maybe that you were scarred, but that you were sweet anyway, like a just-over-ripe end of summer plum, the kind whose dark juice dribbles down your chin at first bite.

"thanks to you, love," he breathed, his voice a little short.

you dusted off his shoulders, relished in the sculpted muscle you felt under your palms. "you're a job well done, then," you said, and you loved the way his eyes warmed at your words, at the way you could physically see the effect you had on him, the way he wore his desire so shamelessly.

oh, to be shameless. you weren't there, not just yet. couldn't yet meet him at a shameless middle.

but as you left him to do any final preparations before his game, you couldn't help but feel that you were gliding, slowly, but absolutely, towards that meeting.

that feeling was strengthened that weekend, the last weekend before the real season began. you were scheduled to style both arber and cole for a country music festival in toronto.

for the last two years, you had styled arber for this event, as it was one of his favorite weekends of the summer.

it was one of your favorite events to style, too, as you rarely got to lean into a more western, almost cinematic sort of look.

it would be your first time thinking about this event from the perspective of two different clients.

arber's side was easy. he already had a favorite cowboy hat, a refusal to wear boots, an insistence on sneakers. it was only a question of colors, of brands to satisfy sponsorships, of what flannel shirt to rip the sleeves off of.

"and you're sure you don't want to come?" arber asked, ever the inclusive best friend.

"'m sure, bear," you said, although part of you wanted to come. something was holding you back though, something you didn't like very much. a fear of being a burden? a fear of feeling alone, surrounded by thousands? something like that.

arber knew you well, though.

"i'll see you at the festival," he said as you left him to get ready.

"what?" you asked, confused.

you could hear his smugness even though your back was turned. "know coley's going to ask the same thing and you're going to go all gooey-eyed. 'of course i'll come, cole,'" he said, doing a dreadful imitation of your voice at the end, "anything for you!"

you were happy he couldn't see your vengeful flush, your embarrassment at how accurate his statement had been.

anything for you was echoing around your brain when you showed up to cole's house, made your bow past him extra bashful, made his presence seem extra indulgent. being around him today smelled like brownies, like chocolate, like fudge that gets stuck on your teeth. it was rich. and it felt a little shameless.

you handed him a container with a grilled cheese you had made that morning. "'s your off day, right?" you explained. "just don't tell your trainer."

and maybe somebody else would have looked at you with expectation, maybe someone else would have thought what else will you do for me?

but cole's gaze was so genuine it melted you away. "for me, love?" he asked, and you could sighed at how happy he was in that moment. how easy it was for him to be happy. how it still felt so lovely to make him happy, despite the ease.

"of course for you," you said, willing nonchalance into your tone, even though that couldn't be farther from the truth. you began to walk to the closet. "now, about today's event-"

his hand grasped your wrist, ever so gently, like you were some kind of precious porcelain doll. like to disturb your beauty would be a malevolent crime. like he would lock himself up if he did.

his barely there touch stopped you where you stood. "thank you," he breathed, some kind of meaning twisted up in his words that was beyond you.

and you wanted to laugh nervously, wave him off, mutter something about how it was just a grilled cheese, for god's sake, how it didn't mean anything.

but lying to cole caufield had always felt like an impossible ask. so of course what you ended up saying was, "anything for you."

and of course you wanted to bang your head against his beautiful wallpapered wall after you said it. you could hear arber's grumble of a laugh in the back of your head.

if you had been focused on cole's face, then, you would have seen how the heat in his eyes burned like embers, how his jaw worked at your words.

but you were already opening his closet, the place in his house that was quickly becoming your safe space. "about today," you began, forcing the squeak out of your voice. "how do you feel about standing out a bit?"

"as in...." he said, an easy smile on his face like he was just happy to listen to you talk.

"as in full western," you answered, hope dripping from your tone like granulated sugar.

he looked at you with a teasing skepticism.

"please?" you asked, barely noting how his eyes darkened, if only for a second. "please let me dress you up, coley?"

you knew you had him. and you were right, but to a greater degree than you realized.

"dress me up, then, love," he conceded, leaning against the doorframe.

your smile was nothing short of triumphant. when was the last time you had felt triumph?

"one for me," you sing-songed as you placed a pair of cowboy boots at his feet like an offering, setting the tone of the final look immediately.

"and one for me," he said, soft, picking out the hat you had been going to choose anyways. something told you he knew this, which made your blush begin to creep up your neck and past your ears.

so you went spar for spar, picking out pieces until you the final look of your dreams was laid out in front of him.

you left him to get changed, but as you passed him in the doorway, you rubbed gently at his shoulder. "you're too good to me, cole," you said, in a joking tone, but you meant every word. "letting me win."

he exhaled and relaxed into your comfortable touch. "like it when you win," he said.

and what could you even say to that? so you didn't say anything, went to wait for him in the kitchen. everything felt warm. what a delicious pleasure, to have someone say they were rooting for you. suddenly being a professional athlete made a lot of sense to you.

"'m glad i let you dress me up," he said as he walked in, adjusting his hat. "i think standing out might be exactly what i need before the season starts."

and when he stood in front of you, a vision of western silhouettes and muted denim colorways, a pop of red here and there, you could have clapped yourself on the back. he looked like a truly wonderful combination of a trashy airport romance novel and a luxury magazine editorial.

his embroidered denim button down strained at his thick biceps and shoulders, his shorts the same sort of tense around his thighs.

you clasped your hands behind your back to release some of the pressure that had begun to coil up inside of you like a mechanical snake.

you didn't think you would ever get used to seeing the fruits of your imagination painted across cole's body. it was a special kind of intimacy. a torturous one, almost.

you approached him again, pulled at his sleeves in a teasing sort of way. "a little small in the arms, yeah? maybe around the thigh, too?"

he tilted his head, his gaze filled with cocky knowing. "and who took the measurements, love?"

you had entered an unknown land, the boundaries of which were unclear, blurry. it fizzed at the edges with danger.

accordingly, he brought a hand to your chin and held your jaw gently. "starting to think you did it on purpose," he breathed, something rough and raspy beginning to invade his tone.

"i'd never do such a thing," you defended, emboldened by his hand, by his courage. your hands were again clasped behind your back. don't cross a line, you thought to yourself. don't.

"i'd be willing to forgive you," cole started, his trailing off meaning there would be a condition.

his thumb had begun to trace feather-light circles on your jaw.

"if?" you asked.

"if you come with me today," he said plainly, openly, easily. always easily.

"done," you said, almost as easily. even if you knew there would be hell to pay when arber saw you. even if you knew the line between work and pleasure was becoming very, very thin. perhaps transparent.

as you drove back to your place to change into something a bit more suited for a festival, it dawned on you that you hadn't thought about your wings at all, hadn't rubbed at your shoulders the whole time you had been with cole that day. not even once.

with him, you didn't need to be the beautiful, smart prodigy practically overflowing with potential. you didn't need wings.

you just needed to show up. so, that's what you did.

you showed up for him at the festival, very notably not in your everyday uniform, instead in a vintage sundress you had been dying to wear and your boots, a unique pair of accent sunglasses pushed up into your hair.

it felt good to wear something different, to wear something a little more out there, to wear a bit of you. you were not used to giving the world a bit more of yourself, having felt before that perhaps the world didn't need any more of you.

you glanced at your phone, approached the spot that arber suggested you meet the group at, quickly recognized the clothes you had put together this morning.

you hugged arber first, elbowed him lightly when he whispered, "change your mind, did you?" into your ear.

you smiled, rolled your eyes, but you could see in his gaze that he was just happy that you had decided to come, that whatever you had going on with cole was enough to bring you here.

he introduced you to some of his other teammates, their respective friends and partners, everyone being especially welcoming.

some of his other teammates joked about how they might be needing your stylistic help soon, too, and their girlfriends might have shared a look with you and mouthed "please" with a friendly grin.

you could feel cole's eyes on you the entire time you stood there, could have touched the side of your face to check if his gaze had seared a burn into your skin.

finally you turned to face him, were starkly unprepared for the vulnerable desire you found lurking in his eyes like some kind of mythical beast.

you couldn't help but smile at him, tilted your head, asking him a silent question.

can i trust what i'm seeing? how do i know my vision isn't a liar, like everything else?

"you came," he said to you, then, like he had so many times before.

"of course i did," you said, like you had so many times back to him.

you adjusted his hat on his head, straightened it, tilted it down slightly, creating a bubble-like barrier between the two of you and everyone else.

you picked up right where you left off, on the fringes of danger. danger you felt as he only barely touched your fingertips with his, not quite holding hands, almost.

he thumbed the hem of your dress between his fingers. "wear something pretty for me, love?" his gaze flared across your figure like high beams, getting stuck on your exposed legs like sediment, coating your bare shoulders thickly, like brownie batter.

who are you dressing for, that's what you had asked him at the beginning.

"'cause you look it," he clarified, raspy, "just so pretty."

and you blushed strawberry pink, let the group lead you to the main stage, settled into the space as the artist came on.

set after set, you couldn't remember the last time you had existed so carelessly, so gently, so shamelessly.

there were no thoughts of the past, of wings that once were, of anything but dancing with your best friend, laughing with his teammates, singing along with their girlfriends like you had known them your whole life.

you felt so light, so present, so perfect.

light on your feet, almost floating, each time your gaze caught on cole's, immediately tugging a smile free on your face, the kind you felt in your ears, in your jaw, in your squinting eyes.

present, absolutely no where else, each time you heard cole's starburst of a laugh, the sound ringing through the air and your head like a bell, like a lullaby.

perfect as anything, each ghost of a touch you both stole from each other throughout the afternoon. making an excuse for hair in your face, for a bustling crowd, for having a bit to drink, for a thread that had come free. excuses that were unnecessary, that nobody believed anyways.

late into the afternoon, you pressed a hand to your collarbone, felt a glow of heat under your palm. you bit your lip, found cole next to you. "'m gonna get burned," you said to him, shaking your head like you had said a joke, like you had said can't take me anywhere, hm?

but he only started to unbutton his shirt, making your eyes widen more as he revealed more and more skin.

"what are you doing?" you whispered, a sort of pleading tone injected into your voice. something like please don't do this to me.

something that he heard, must have, given the smirk that crept onto his face at your flush, at your voice. "gentle, pretty girl," he soothed, now entirely shirtless, entirely distracting. he handed his shirt to you. "can't have you burning up."

you tried not to be too terribly touched. you took the sunglasses off of your face and handed them to him. "one for you, one for me," you said with a smile as you traded.

"one for you, one for me," he repeated like a child repeats a prayer, doused in a desperate kind of faith. he pushed your sunglasses up onto his head, making his soft hair stick up in a million different directions.

you let him hold your drink as you shouldered on his shirt, fastened the top two buttons, tried not to get dizzy at the scent of him all over you.

just then, your favorite artist in the lineup came onstage to begin their set, cheers from the crowd loud and warm.

you faced the stage now, away from cole, clapping your hands, flushed with excitement.

a flush that only deepened as the music began, as you felt cole behind you, as he wrapped his arms around your front and swayed with you to the rhythm, something twangy and groovy.

"'s this okay?" he whispered, resting his chin between your head and shoulder, his mouth so close to your ear that you could feel the heat of his breath.

maybe okay wasn't the right word for this. this being his thick arms resting lazily around your hips, his bare broad chest against your back like puzzle pieces slotted together.

you nodded, regardless, had a hard time focusing on anything but the feeling of him, so close. "'s okay," you breathed.

maybe okay wasn't the right word.

"can you see?" you asked, hesitantly relaxing back into his chest, draping yourself across him like some kind of quilt.

you felt his laugh more than heard it, the shiver it evoked making it's way up to your hairline.

"tall enough, remember, love?" he whispered.

you snaked one of your hands back, ran your nails lightly across his neck, his curls. "more than enough," you said, not really referring to his height, more so just him. how this beautiful golden angel boy was more than enough.

the night fell like blackberry jam, thick and sweet and like home. you lost track of time as you slouched deeper against cole's body, as he began to hold you up a bit as you grew tired, continuing to sway to the music all the time. you had never been more comfortable. nothing had ever been easier.

too soon the night was over. you felt the residue of the sun on your face like a blush, the weight of the day in your legs. too soon you were hugging your new friends goodbye, handing your number out to the ones who were interesting in perhaps becoming a client, a few of the girls saying they better be seeing you at games, soon.

too soon you were at the passenger door of arber's truck, as he had arranged to drive you home after you told him you were coming.

cole walked you to the door, opened it for you, held your warm hand as you hopped into the lifted truck.

"you have everything for the road trip?" you asked him, referring to the outfits you had picked out together for him to wear for his series of away games.

he nodded, something flickering in his eyes. did he feel the shadow of you against him as you did him? was he cold like you were, without his exhales on your collarbone?

"travel safe," you said, your words brimming with meaning. i'll miss you went unsaid, but not unrecognized.

"the gala when i get back, yeah?" he said, almost drowsy.

"i've already got some ideas," you said, and the thought brought a smile to your face.

something dangerous flashed across his face, making your stomach flutter, your heart tense. "i've got some ideas too, pretty girl."

and then arber got into the driver's seat, said goodbye to cole, who returned the sentiment.

"i'm really happy you came," he said to you as the car started. i'll miss you, too.

you had a dreamy smile on your face as arber drove away.

"i like your friends," you said.

"they like you," he returned before smirking. "some more than others."

you rolled your eyes, but it was no use. hope bubbled up in you like caramelizing sugar. "does it bother you?" you asked then, squinting, realizing you hadn't really asked your best friend what he thought.

"does what bother me?" he asked. "you coming out to things you never would have a couple months ago?"

you went to cut him off, but he pressed on.

"or that you smile more now than i've seen in years? or that you seem to be genuinely enjoying your work?"

he wasn't lying, wasn't wrong, wasn't even critical.

you had always felt that you connected with arber because he, too, walked with the distinct slouch of a fallen angel, of a being, once heavenly, now devoid. the same evidence of struggle, of lack.

it dawned on you then that you had never judged him for it, had only appreciated him more. maybe it was time to extend yourself the same appreciation, the same forgiveness.

it was arber who had extended a hand to you in that place of darkness, but it had been you who had taken it. it had been you who had gotten up.

you had always been the most wonderful team. the kind of trust existed between you that perhaps one only offers their first love.

"you know i just want to see you happy, don't you?" he said, a bit softer than his typical biting humor. "if that's him, i could never be bothered."

"i do know that," you said, and you meant it. "i don't tell you enough how much i appreciate you, bear. but i do."

how lucky you felt to know you had him by your side no matter what, that no matter what happened, you had your best friend. to know that he had you, too.

you made sure he was all squared away for his trip, gave him a hug goodbye, told him to text you when he landed.

and such began the week of time away.

a week you filled with planning, preparations, shopping, lists, moodboards, drafting articles that (probably) no one would read but you wrote them anyway.

a week you wore things that didn't match, clashing colors and aesthetics, frilly silk skirts and sneakers, jerseys and business trousers. just to see how it would feel, just because you could. shameless.

no matter how busy you kept, you missed cole. you missed the way your stomach would flip when he would open his front door, the way he smelled after he showered, you missed his firework of a laugh and the way his voice would get raspy with use.

it was hard to leave off at the point that you did - seemingly on the precipice of the point of no return.

part of you hated that you had left everything so uncertain still. every possibility of what he felt, what would happen, it twisted around you like a lovesick tornado. what would happen when he returned?

would you have to build up to everything again? would he forget what you felt like against him? would he even want you to remind him?

or maybe he would kiss you immediately, like you so desired. as he was away, your workdays became interrupted by visions of his lips, phantom hands on your hips, your fingers on his throat, his in your hair.

visions that left you a little breathless. a little flushed. but wanting, above all else. they left you wanting.

so you were a little scared, a little tense, but mostly full of want when you arrived at cole's for the first time since he'd arrived home after a successful string of games on the road. the week had gone by fast, but also painfully slowly.

today you planned to prepare for the gala tomorrow for one of his teammate's charities, a black tie event, sure to be a fun night to style.

today you wore a dress, and that said enough.

when cole opened the door your breath caught. beautiful golden angel boy.

he looked so soft, then. the angle of his jaw, of his cheekbones, perfectly distilled by his halo-like messy hair, his flushed face, almost girlish nose. you missed seeing his face in front of you, noticing everything about him.

what a privilege, to be close enough to cole caufield to notice things about him.

"after you, love," he said, stepping back and allowing you though. you bowed your head as you walked past him, a plume of his scent dissolving around your face.

how many times had you had this same interaction? had it always felt so electric? had the air been vibrating like this the whole time?

you made your way to his room, to his closet, just like always, catching up, asking him questions about his trip.

yes, he was a little tired, and yes, the team looked good, though he wished he had finished a couple more of his net-front chances. yes, arber did well, even coach said so.

and he asked you about your week as you began to lay out some options, occasionally referring to your clipboard of notes, moodboards, ideas.

yes, you had a nice week. yes, you ate well, really. you wrote a bit, and he could read the articles, if he really wanted to, which he insisted that he did.

"and how do you feel about a three-piece?" you asked.

"that depends," cole began, taking up his usual post, leaning on the doorframe. "how do you think i would look in a three-piece?"

you felt a blush begin to creep up your neck. "remember when you said you dressed for yourself?" you said in a teasing tone.

"still do, love," he defended. "just got a panel to consult, first, these days."

you exhaled. "you know i think you look lovely in anything, cole," you said. it had always felt like a crime, the prospect of lying to him.

you could feel the heat of his gaze on you as you panned through his dress shirts, his vests, his ties. you could feel the sparks of his eyes ignite into flames, flames that licked at your legs and tensed the coil inside of you.

was his halo beginning to singe the ends of his hair?

"did i ask you yet if you missed me?" he said, lazy but attentive, his eyes sharp.

you approached him, held a couple of ties up to his face. a forest green, a baby blue, a burnt orange. "you didn't ask me," you said, your gaze glancing to meet his between swatches. "do you really need to?"

the air fizzed and sparked. you could practically smell smoke.

you looked back to the ties, scrunched up your face in thought before nodding. "one for me," you began, referring to the baby blue tie you had chosen.

"and one for me," cole breathed out, all in one motion grasping your face in his rough hands and capturing your lips with his. his kiss tasted like a home-cooked meal after a semester away at university. it smelled like sugar and smoke and cinnamon and felt like floating, like flying.

it was rushed and just so desperate and rough but also gentle. there had never been anyone, after all, who had been as gentle with you as cole had, as if he was holding your delicate, bleeding heart in his hands, taking care of it for you until you were ready to house it again.

you dropped whatever you were holding, wrapped your arms behind his neck, your way of saying, closer, please. your way of saying finally.

he walked you backwards until you were the one leaning against the doorframe, the plane of it pressing between your shoulder blades. you twisted one hand in his hair, pulling gently.

he moaned into your mouth, making you smile into his as he brought one hand to brace against the frame, just next to your hip, the other still resting on the side of your face.

"please, love," he said, little more than a whimper. "i need you."

pressing himself against you using his leverage, you could feel exactly how desperate he was, just how much he had missed you, too. was there any better feeling than bringing an angel to his knees?

your sly smile turned mocking, your voice dripping in desire, still. "stop whining," you breathed.

the way he immediately did as you said, without question, eyes wide and glossed in waiting for your next move, it felt shockingly beautiful.

you had always been plagued by the struggle of a fallen angel. but here, now, with cole, you didn't feel like an angel at all. he made you feel like a god. and what good did shame ever do any god?

you gripped his shirt and pulled him out of the doorway, away from the closet, the place that had become something like a cathedral for both of you.

a cathedral for which the only accepted sacrifice was the sacrifice of shame, left bloody and dead on an altar welded from want.

you pushed him back onto his bed, the one you had walked by so many times, had barely allowed yourself to look at.

he leaned back with a grunt, put one elbow behind him and the other on his thigh, seemingly waiting patiently for you. ever so patient. always had been.

you sunk down to your knees, rested your elbows on his, now spread apart, looked up at him through your lashes, tilting your head as he brought one hand from his thigh to your head, lacing it through your hair. your mouth watered.

"can i suck you off, coley, please?" you begged as his grip on your hair tightened. "want to feel you in my mouth so bad, baby, can i?"

he whimpered at your words, was already nodding feverishly, moving clothes aside so you had better access to him.

you bit your lip as you pulled him out, felt the weight of him in your hands, hot and thick and -

"told you i didn't have to lie about measurements." cole's joking words broke you from a trance of heavy seriousness. you looked up at him, your delicate grip pumping him up and down, and found him to be smiling, a big, toothy, goofy one.

you couldn't help but laugh, a real laugh, one that had you flushing and shaking your head.

this, this was the real privilege. to be on your knees in front of him and still have him making you laugh. you knew then that you could be awkward and messy and still be beautiful, perhaps even because of your awkwardness and messiness. you could be a beast of desire and want and still be worthy of his smile.

then you took him in your mouth, moved your head slowly up and down, hollowing out your cheeks, promptly catching the laugh in his throat and urging it into an almost anguished moan instead.

he held your hair to the side, tilted his head back when you took him all the way to the back of your throat.

"fuck, love," he groaned, the curse guttural on his typically clean tongue. "bein' so perfect for me. feels so good."

his words spurred you on, pushed the pace of your rhythm, made you rake your nails down his thigh.

you felt his overstimulated shudder in your teeth as he grew impossibly harder in your mouth.

his breaths grew short and choppy, his moans whiny as his thighs tensed under your hand.

you pulled yourself off of him, spit running down your chin, your eyes watery and lashes clinging together as you pumped him with your hand.

he met your gaze and promptly moaned. "look so pretty, love, gonna cum if you keep lookin' at me," he whined.

and so the dirty, messy, and awkward god grew bashful at the angel's words.

"want you to cum for me, coley," you pressed, running a thumb over his sensitive tip. "please?"

something dark flickered across his gaze like lightning in a storm, powerful and inevitable. in a motion he pulled you to your feet, pushed your legs apart so you could straddle his hips, your dress pooling around you both, your center precariously and dangerously against his hard cock.

"hate sayin' no to you, pretty girl," he said, your faces again just a breath apart. "but gotta fuck you first, yeah? been dreaming about it."

now it was your turn to nod feverishly, to lift your hips up gently and let him angle himself underneath you. the seconds felt gelatinous. you both took a breath.

a breath you both released as you sank down onto him that first time, his coming out strangled and yours full of relief.

you both paused for a moment, you adjusting to him and he to you.

his stretch made you dizzy, a pull you could feel in your throat, in your fingertips. he mumbled something incoherent that dissolved into a groan as you began to move your hips up and down, each push deeper than the last.

you rested one hand on his lower stomach, grounding you, the other coming to gently grasp at his throat, squeezing only the tiniest bit. "like you've been dreaming, baby?" you asked, only a little teasing, only because you knew he could take it.

he moaned louder, nodded, dug his hands into your hips, began to meet you thrust for thrust.

something possessed you then, something hazy and hot, something had you moving your hand from his throat to his cheeks, clutching at his face in a way that forced his mouth open. open enough for you drop your head, almost like you were going to kiss him again, but instead letting spit drop from your mouth into his.

you could have sighed at how easily he swallowed, how his eyes were brimming with lust and something softer when he opened them and found you, there.

his eyes made you whimper, which made him thrust up into you harder, a little faster, somehow deeper.

"so wet for me, love, fuck," he bit out, dragging a slow hand from your hip to your bottom lip, sticky with spit. "take it," he moaned, an order but also a plea. "so good, love, take it."

you let him push his fingers into your mouth, let him rest them there, your eyes rolling back at the feeling of him everywhere inside of you. so deep you felt him in your stomach, the back of your throat. your heart, most of all.

you became aware of the hair sticking to the back of your neck with sweat, the pleasant evidence of effort that burned in your thighs, the croak of wear that had begun to tear at your voice.

you built up a rhythm, quick and hard. you rolled your hips back against him, hitting a new, perfect spot inside of you, making you clench tighter around him.

"feel you close," he rasped, "where do you need me?"

and you were back to that day, so far away, now, taking measurements. where do you need me? he had asked.

here, present you thought, here and now.

you tugged his hand from your mouth and led him to your folds, showing him exactly how to touch you. exactly what you needed.

his touch jolted through you, an electric current of desire, bringing you brutally close to your high as he continued to rub at your clit, thrust into you hard.

"fuck, coley," you whined, "'m so close for you. gonna cum all over your cock, baby. stretchin' me so perfect."

the muscles of his stomach clenched under your fingertips, his shoulders tense under your other palm as your motions up and down became messier, his thrusts sloppier, both of your breathing choppy.

"please cum for me, pretty girl," he breathed. "make me feel so good, yeah?" he grunted, almost a pained noise. "need you."

you did as told, his words and the beautiful vulnerability in his eyes sending right over the precipice of pleasure you had been teetering on. you came with a shuddering moan, collapsing into cole's damp chest, triggering his own orgasm, warm and raspy.

draped over him like a velvet curtain, you felt the rise and fall of his chest slowly become regular again against your cheek. the air around you was warm and stained with the enormity of your want, realized.

you tilted your head up to gaze at him, found him glowing, flushed, his hair fussed. he looked so beautiful.

"you look like an angel," you said, your voice all but a rasp as it escaped your worn-out throat.

his laugh was like honey and lemon. he shook his head, traced your jaw with his fingertips. "just a human, love," he said, a whisper. your eyelids grew heavy, your voice lazy. too lazy to stop the sweet smile that tugged at your mouth. one that he mirrored.

"me too," you breathed. he pressed his swollen lips to the top of your head.

and with that, with a sigh of relief, you finally laid your wings to rest, in the graveyard of things that had never been.

fin.

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