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#Still I do immensely appreciate people's kindness in attempting to make me see things from a different angle!!!
kyouka-supremacy · 10 months
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Hey! I was summoned by the tags you put under my post bc I also very much enjoy discussing ethics. I might make this into its own post so I'll try to not elaborate too much...
I think that I can't just decide for everyone if the difference between doing good for the sake of goodness or in order to save oneself matters, but for me, in most cases, including Dazai's case, it doesn't.
I like to believe that morality is a choice one can decide to make, and I don't think it's fair to take that away from them, regardless on how they might feel on the inside. It's a wonderful thing to act morally because it's your "natural" tendency, but I think people also have the right to do so deliberately, for a reason that they choose, without their choice being minimised. They're two different processes for sure, but if the outcome is good, then the action is a good action, and, if being moral is a choice, then I don't think I have the right to decide that only one intention or emotion that will lead there is good enough.
Also, doing good for your own sake and for the sake of others are mutually exclusive at all. One feeds the other, and if we were to put every person's actions under such scrutiny, we would ultimately run in circles.
So, for people outside the story, I would say that the debate does matter, but for the sake of the people involved, it doesn't, because the outcome is the same, especially since Dazai is so opaque as a character, and what he really feels about the things he does is so hard to read, so at the end of the day all most of them experience is his actions.
[Post this is referring to] Thank you for your elaboration, I loved hearing your opinion on the matter!!! That's close to consequentialism, isn't it? The consequences of one's actions, how much good they produced, are telling of it being morally right or wrong. I don't necessarily agree, but that's definitely a valid way to see it!!! I personally believe one's intentions are the most relevant aspect to take into account when judging whether and action is ethically rightful or not. Note that that is judging the moral of the action itself, and not giving a judgement on the person; people can have a million reasons to act selfishly, and in my very “humans are always inherently good” worldview more often than not it's caused by society rather than an actual preference to not be altruistic. But that doesn't change the fact that even a good action, if it isn't moved by good intentions, won't ever be passable of being morally right to me. Besides, then, wouldn't the other way round work to? Someone well intentioned, who's however incompetent, and ends up with their actions putting more bad in the world– as long as they're acting with a true desire to help others for the sake of it, their actions can't be considered morally wrong for me.
To clarify, with reference to your ask; I don't think people who do something for selfish reasons, and end up doing good, are morally rightful; but if they decide to do good, well, isn't that a well-intentioned aim itself? Then I think they stop being selfish to the extension that they consciously decide they're going to do good. That's not morally reprinandable at all.
Now, regarding Dazai... Honestly, I don't think Dazai is a good person. Because he never meant to do good for the sake of it. But now, the thing is, I don't think anyone in bsd is meant to be interpreted as good or evil– nobody, not Atsushi, not Mori, no one. When it comes to bsd– I do think bsd expresses a more or less nihilist worldview. And I know pretty much everyone else disagrees with me on this, I know, I'm sorry. But I do think there lies an undergoing message that good and bad are ultimately the same, and equally meaningless– it's there in Oda saying “Neither good nor evil mean much to you”, it's there in the way it makes you root for mafiosi like they were the good guys, it's there in the way Dazai never even considered to make amends for the bad things he's done (because they were never bad to begin with, because good and bad mean nothing anyway), it's there in the way it constantly shows good people doing bad and bad people doing good in a way that basically equalises them. To me there's really no point in discussing whether Dazai is good, because he is most evidently not, but that's only because he was never meant to be interpreted as such to begin with. Please refer to this post for further details; it's not surprising at all that Dazai switching over to the “good side” didn't come with a radical change of heart, and that he basically stayed the same, because how could he become good when that's no different than being evil, and those both mean nothing anyway?
And I know most people see bsd's core theme as finding a reason to live, and maybe it is, but even then I think that wouldn't be by denying its nihilism, but rather accepting it and finding a reason to live in spite of it: to me all of bsd really sums up in “that, at least, is a little more beautiful”.
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hwnglx · 1 year
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Can you do a reading on what the Enhypen members think about Sunoo ? 🐾
what do enhypen think about sunoo? based on tarot, take it with a grain of salt
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heeseung
10ofw+strength+3ofw, 5ofc, 5ofsw&8ofc, 4ofsw
heeseung thinks of sunoo as someone who carries a lot of weight on his shoulders. to him, he's a person who has had to endure a lot of challenges but kept moving forward in a strong manner. i feel like there's a sense of regret on heeseung's side about not having been able to help his bandmate during his difficult times, he felt very powerless in this regard. it seems that during this phase, sunoo distanced himself emotionally and heeseung felt like he couldn't really do anything about it. he views him as someone he isn't very close to and also can't really get close to due to this incident.
jay
knofc, 6ofp, queofsw&herm, 4ofw, judg
these two definitely gave me the closest vibes from the very beginning of the reading. jay sees sunoo as someone with a gentle, sweet and charming personality whose energy draws people in very naturally. he creates an enjoyable and fun environment for the people he's with and has a very dreamy and lovely quality to him. to jay, sunoo is also the type of person to be very generous and selfless when it comes to assisting others. yet despite having this very likeable nature, he recognizes that sunoo doesn't enjoy opening up too much. he's someone who prefers his own space and therefore tends to detach himself more from the rest of the members.
jake
fool, 10ofc, aceofp, 6ofp, queofsw, 7ofw&9ofp
jake thinks of sunoo as someone goofy with a sense of childlike innocence to him. he's aware that his bandmate is always eager to work very hard and meet the very high standards and expectations he has for himself. jake also sees him as a person who enjoys his independence and thrives in his own space, and therefore tends to get pretty defensive when someone tries to get too close. though sunoo isn't very open and closed off emotionally, jake still appreciates him as someone who rarely fails to be kind to the people around him and keeps his generous spirit with him at all times.
sunghoon
10ofw, aceofp, 7ofc, 5ofc, moon, aceofw
sunghoon is another member who's aware of the amount of burden sunoo carries on his shoulders. in his eyes, his bandmate has a lot of potential to be great at his craft and puts a lot of effort into it. he thinks he's a very ambitious person who always seeks new ways to improve himself and therefore is quick to overwork himself and tire himself out. sunghoon also thinks of sunoo as a very dreamy guy who tends to have his head in the clouds and get lost in it easily. he sees in him a deep thinker who doesn't reveal much of his inner world and prefers keeping it private which can result in him getting hung up on his worries too quickly.
jungwon
sun, 3ofw, 6ofp, strength, 9ofp, 7ofw
jungwon thinks that sunoo is a beautifully vibrant and radiant person who's almost too generous and harmless for his own good. although he definitely is more than capable of standing up for himself and absolutely won't take shit when people try to mess with him, he still has a very kindhearted and warm side to him that makes him very comfortable and easy to be around. to jungwon, sunoo is also a self-reliant and independent character who possesses an immense amount of inner strength and perseverance.
niki
8ofsw+4ofc&queofc, aceofc&6ofc, kingofw, 3ofsw
to niki, sunoo is a captivating person with a very strong presence and a lot of passion and enthusiasm for his goals. however, due to his sensitive nature, he also has a soft and easily wounded heart and is prone to taking things too personally sometimes. niki also evidently shares a lot of memories with sunoo, as he sees him as someone who he used to have a strong and special connection with in the past but now struggles to get close to. it seems that sunoo completely shut himself off from him and became rather apathetic in response to niki's attempts to engage in deeper conversations, which made him feel pretty powerless. i genuinely get nostalgia, even sadness and the vibe that he misses his friend but is unsure of what to do to get closer since sunoo is so unresponsive.
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swbumblebee · 3 years
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There was earie silence after the damn Clanker’s pulsar cannons finally ceased. Well, aside from the grunts and curses of troopers struggling to remain upright in the thick mud that was their battlefield.
Commander Cody was about to turn and clarify the usual clean up procedures with General Kenobi, just a few steps away, when a small noise of discomfort sliced through the quiet and his head whipped around to the other man.
“General?” he barked, instantly alert. The General had been close to that final blast, but Cody had thought it a safe distance.
He shlepped his way over to the Jedi standing with his back to him, and his head bent low, exposing the pale skin at the back of his neck.
Broken bones? Burns? Shrapnel?
“Sir?” Cody asked again, close enough to see the man’s head was in his hands, features clenched as another grunt came out of him.
“Ugh Cody I’ve – Ow! Excuse me, I’ve got a bit of mud in my eyes” the General rose his head and attempted to look at Cody, rubbing his face.
Cody winced when he got a good look at the Jedi’s front; he was covered in mud and dust, coating his hair and beard, the beige of his robes barely visible.
But it was his face that made Cody cringe, his features were absolutely caked in more dirt. Dirt that the General was frantically scrubbing at, both hands balled into fists to rub at his eyes desperately.
A bit of mud?!
“Sir stop that!” Cody watched in horror as the General seemed to actively make his situation worse with his continued movements.
“General you’re making it worse!”
“I just need to – Ow!” The Jedi scrunched up his face and attempted to open his eyes, blinking and squinting at Cody, only for the grit to cause him to immediately shut them again in pain.
Idiot!
The Commander would later justify his next action with the facts that a) it had been a very long day, and b) his Jedi was being very frustrating, but when his advice went unheeded and the General continued futilely attempting to scrub the mud and dirt out of his eyes, Cody acted.
He reached out lightening quick and grabbed the other man’s skinny wrists in a vice like hold, pulling them away from his face.
“Ah! Cody!” The General attempted to scowl, screwing up his face again and blinking.
Time to bring out the big guns.
“Sir you need to stop” he barked in the tone he usually reserved for misbehaving shinies. He was immensely satisfied when his fearless C.O froze immediately.
Pressing his advantage he continued;
“Keep your eyes closed” he instructed, was flattered at the trust his General showed by immediately closing his eyes and scrunching his face up once again in irritation.
Cody glanced around quickly, still keeping a firm hold on his General.
“Cloth. Clean water” he barked at a nearby Lieutenant, who managed a hasty salute whilst scrambling to comply, dashing to the med tent.
Cody turned back to the man in front of him, taking the moment to give General Kenobi a critical once over. Still hunched slightly it was hard to see if he was completely uninjured, but aside from the mess he did look more or less alright.
Battered and exhausted in a way that made Cody want to give him a big hug and a whack upside the head, but more or less whole.
“Er…Cody” the man in question still had his eyes squeezed shut but there was a definite smirk forming on his lips beneath his dirty beard.
“Do you think you could let go now?” he asked lightly flexing his fingers, wrists still held in Cody’s grip.
“No.” He’d been down this road before. Give the silly, self-destructive Jedi an inch and he’d take a mile.
“Cody!”
“Sir” The General’s whining was interrupted by the arrival of Lieutenant Boots, with a clean white cloth and a jar of greenish water.
Cody glared at the jar, making no move to take it.
“I need clean water Lieutenant, what about that is hard to understand?” he demanded.
Boots, to his credit merely nodded.
“Yes Sir” the young trooper saluted unnecessarily and Cody resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “It’s bacta infused Sir, I got it from the med tent” he explained, straightening up. “Commander Kix said he’ll be out soon he wants to check the General himself. Er…Sir.”
“Oh for Force sake it’s just-“
“Thank you Boots, that’s appreciated” Cody ignored the grumbling from the Jedi and finally releasing his wrists to take the offered items.
“Keep them closed” he instructed as he let go. He took the grunt he received as an affirmative.
Taking the cloth and dunking it lightly in the water/bacta mix he moved closer to the Jedi. He could see the dirt in the pinched lines around his face, could smell the mixture of sweat and dirt that was all over him, so different to the usual scent of tea that usually marked his presence. The Commander shuffled closer still, willing himself not to focus on the fact that he could hear the other’s breathing and see the different tones in his hair under the dirt. He wondered absently how many people generally got this close to the General.
Snap out of it!
“Sir I’m going to just get some of this off” he said, irritated when his voice was softer than he intended.
General Kenobi just nodded.
Gently, more gently than he had done anything in his life, he pressed the cool cloth to the other’s face, pressing down ever so slightly on delicate eyelids, trying not to think too much about the uncomfortable twitch his touch was greeted with.
“Sorry” he said quietly, swallowing when his voice came out no more than a whisper.
“No no it’s alright” the Jedi assured him. And Cody would put it down to wishful thinking later, but the unflappable Jedi Master was definitely a little horse.
Cody continued his ministrations in silence, trying not to breathe too loudly, or smile in victory when General Kenobi relaxed a little into his touch.
The cloth was ruined by the time he got most of the muck off.
“There you go Sir, I’ve got most of it.”
And just like that, brilliant blue eyes flickered open, eyelids fluttering prettily whilst he blinked the last of the grit away.
“There you are” the General greeted softly, a sort of soft smile immediately taking up his dirty face.
Cody’s stomach gave an uncomfortable kind of wiggle.
“Yeah” he answered, again it came out as more of a whisper.
Well done Cody, real charming he berated himself as the cleared his throat and pulled himself together, only to be interrupted.
“Thank you” those impossibly blue eyes were looking into his earnestly, and the soft voice made it impossible to think.
Too close. Should move. He could see the redness around General Kenobi’s eyes and the irritation on the skin under them. Should get Kix.
But he didn’t want to move. And neither it seemed, did the General, who was continuing to look at him like Cody was the best thing he’d ever seen.
Footsteps behind them broke the spell, and in the blink of an eye the General suddenly straightened up, jumping to attention as if electrocuted. Cody nearly got whiplash at the jarring change in atmosphere.
“Well I think I’d better find somewhere to wash off-“
Cody was baffled for a moment…
“General Kenobi! I have an optical solution with your name on it!”
…before the dulcet tones of Kix, stomping towards them, explained the situation.
Cody rolled his eyes, turning away from the sight and back to his silly General with a telling off on his lips.
Only to find the space that was previously occupied by said flighty Jedi, was empty.
Of course it was. Bloody Jedi.
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kazuwhora · 3 years
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hello hello, i see your requests are open now and can i request izana, wakasa, chifuyu and kazutora with an akutagawa!s/o? hope you have a great day/noon/night! ✨🤗
hi anon! sure! I will try my best with izana and wakasa since there's not tons to work with personality wise so forgive me if theirs are a little shorter heh. im gonna include a little blurb from the bsd fandom wiki for anyone not familiar with his character! I like these kinds of headcanon requests so if anyone wants to see more please feel free to request!
"Akutagawa has a black and white "survival of the fittest" view of the world, claiming that weak people should die and give way to the stronger ones. He is not afraid of pain and defeat His ruthless, vicious nature makes him one of the Port Mafia's most dangerous members, feared by both ally and foe. As violent as he is, Akutagawa maintains a generally composed and detached approach. Towards subordinates and superiors alike, he acts aloof, distancing himself from social interactions however possible. Nonetheless, his composure is fragile. Akutagawa is quick to lash out, ridiculing him for risking the bounty by acting recklessly. This quick temper often gets in his way, fuelling his actions to the core of his very being."
SUMMARY: izana, wakasa, chifuyu, && kazutora with an akutagawa!so
CW: hints of toxicity and violence, mentions of sex but not really all that nsfw-ish so otherwise not much else!
IZANA
- this is an interesting one because from what we know about izana, he is very similar in personality to akutagawa in terms of ruthlessness that stems from childhood trauma and isolation.
- in the case of a s/o with this personality, I think it would be a troubling relationship. lots of bitter fights fuelled by nothing but an inability to express vulnerability, while leaving both of you torn up inside and begging for someone to nurture the trauma and allow space for emotions.
- that being said, with toxicity and trauma also comes intense passion and desire. this relationship brings a lot of fire both in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom, with simple arguments often spawning into intense desperate (and lengthy might I add) sex. like, intense. it's almost like sex is the only safe outlet of these pent up emotions, providing a sort of comfort and also distraction for both parties.
- however as I said in general, this is definitely a toxic relationship. one where neither can help the other when it comes to growth and improvement on a personal level. it's unhealthy and enabling, but for a short lived fling it is hot as fuck im not even gonna lie. lots of hate sex too.
WAKASA
- so wakasa is another interesting one alongside izana given the lack of information and content we have about his character so please excuse the slight kc fanon version I have in my head of wakasa lol
- wakasa has a "don't fuck with me because I do not fucking care" type of vibe to him. I definitely think he's the type to completely disengage from the type of behaviours an akutagawa-type s/o might display. this leads to sort of a sense of competitiveness in trying to get some kind of reaction from him, and it has the potential (much like izana) to become toxic in nature
- any attempts to get under his skin are failed attempts, and the way he looks at you with that half bored expression is something that only triggers more of a somewhat emotional response from you.
- with that being said, my fanon version of wakasa is someone who while cold and aloof, is also quite a rational person. he's been typed by the fandom as INTJ which is quite a quick thinker, and I think he probably (despite not showing it very well) has a soft spot for you. but your passion and intensity (as well as your easily triggered dynamic) keeps him from completely being able to express this care in any way other than not engaging with your antics
- as much as there are some similarities with the type of toxicity in this relationship with both wakasa and izana, the intense passion isn't quite the same as it is with izana. instead, feelings of passion are more to the point and driven by pure instinct and desire rather than toxic passion. wakasa seeming like a very literal person, is actually quite mysterious deep down and has a lot (I mean a lot) of hidden desires and kinks that begin to emerge with time. it's rarely a conversation, and more often just something that happens that surprises you. you just have to go with the flow here, and let him take the reigns for once. it might actually be a good opportunity to allow for vulnerability to take the spotlight for once, which is something wakasa is surprisingly in tune with and quite to the point about.
CHIFUYU
- this is something much healthier than the last two. chifuyu, being an enfp is someone that's able to handle this level of intensity in a person while still being able to understand what's really going on.
- call him the trauma counsellor king. he values each and every response to a trigger that you might have. he notices patterns, he makes mental notes of things, and he does this all without making it seem like he's analyzing.
- to be honest he actually loves the spunk you bring on a day to day level. even though most of the time it's driven by bitterness or hate (not always towards him just in general) he is still able to see beyond that and appreciate you for what you are.
- with that being said, chifuyu will not stand for any toxic behaviour towards him. no sir he will not. threats and pushes for fights wont be tolerated, and he will either disengage or try to expose your vulnerabilities in an attempt at forced submission. this can be hard to get used to, especially with having a personality characterized by the inability to accept being vulnerable. but with time chifuyu is one to create a safe space for you to allow yourself to feel emotions beyond anger and resentment, and he encourages this.
- because of this very feelings based approach, intimacy with chifuyu is just that: intimate. he's extremely loving and doting, hoping that his sweetness can rub off on you a little bit. however he's also very accepting of your need for power over him (especially during sex) and will absolutely submit to your needs in order to please you.
- he really likes to put you in a place of pleasure though, so however that may come to you chifuyu is the one to deliver it.
KAZUTORA
- oh boy. this one is a doozy. listen. if we're talking about timeskip kazutora (as is the case with all characters i write about but I feel it especially important to remind ppl of here given his history), we're talking about someone who is quite literally walking on eggshells in terms of his trauma and emotional vulnerability.
- he's pretty good at being emotionally aware of his needs and struggles as well as the needs and struggles of those around him, but that doesn't mean that he's entirely healed or capable of managing toxicity or his triggers. he still slips up from time to time especially when things get hard, and sometimes finds himself falling into his old patterns. after all, he's only human. but this is where things could get messy in a relationship.
- for the most part, like I said, he's pretty good. so let's focus on that part first since I want to give him credit where it's due. he is very desperate for love and dedicated to providing something to his partner. in this case, he will seek to tap into his emotional vulnerability to provide some sort of comfort for you. he wants to see you happy, and calm, because he sees so much of his old self in you that it gets to him sometimes. but at the same time, he struggles with your relentlessness and can become emotionally drained when things get tough. he'll beat himself up for not being good enough to help you, and this is when he'll isolate and fall into old patterns.
- however, akutagawa's personality type isn't all bad. with a s/o like akutagawa, comes an immense amount of protection and loyalty for their loved ones no matter how tough things might be. in this case it might be hard to communicate this, but there will be times when it's needed in order for kazutora to restrain from old habits and ways of dealing with hardships. but he wants to share his healing with you, he wants you to be happy, and more than anything he understands the struggle of wanting to be happy and healthy but being afraid of losing the one thing that makes you you: your attitude and relentlessness. nobody understands this better than kazutora, which is why things between you can get frustrating and very personal for him.
- much like chifuyu, sex is driven towards pleasing you and only you. chifuyu leans more into switch territory however, while kazutora is 100% submissive. in this case it works out well, however he has a lot of boundaries and limitations when it comes to the way in which you function. he doesn't like degradation. instead, he thrives from praise and any sign of love and care. this might be tough for you to execute 100% of the time, but when it comes down to it the way his eyes twinkle for you is enough to make the ice around your heart melt just a little more each time.
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unpretty · 3 years
Text
astielle ch 28 spoiler ask dump~~
anonymous asked:
Tauril-form is puberty, because that's when his voice changes. Abysscale-form is college-age because that's when he goes to his first orgy.
anonymous asked:
You called Abysscale-form college-age (which does not preclude teenage sexscapades given the ages that go to college) and that tracks with how I think of Tauril-form as going through puberty (because of the voice-change). But if Tauril is the horny teenager that's kind of sad. Because as Minnow has pointed out many times That Dick Will Kill.
not each other, it won't!! although i imagine taurils sleeping with each other would have the bro-iest vibe. very bill and ted. taurils also have Options with people who aren't giant bull centaurs, it's just awkward is all. fortunately for everyone taurils are actually adults and are not full of hormones, they just have zero impulse control and when they like someone they want to impress them and spend time with them and it doesn't necessarily occur to them to get their dicks involved in the situation (karzarul's mind was elsewhere the first time he was a tauril)
anonymous asked:
When Violet said monsters make the best mercenaries and throw the best parties I didn't think about it, but the fact that all the impyrs came into being with swordsmanship skills equal to Lynette probably had something to do with the former. Even if ten isn't that many, THEY COME BACK. (Eventually. In, like, a month.) And the others probably learned from Lynette, even if they died. Lynette's unintentional teaching, back again.
they learned from the best murdering them repeatedly
anonymous asked:
When Ari is repopulating, and he skips Black Drakonis, he says "Makes sense." But he's surprised when Violet points out that Black Drakonis is missing, so it sounds like he at least had a theory/assumption at the time for why she was skipped, but it doesn't match with the new information.
he initially just assumed that black drakonis had managed to avoid being killed the whole time, which made sense because she's a big dragon and she can just fly away if someone is trying to murder her. but generally if a bigass monster is alive someone is going to see it, especially her, because she likes finding population centers to try to guard.
anonymous asked:
"It also occurred to him that trying to get Minnow to act like she lived in a society since they were young may have negatively impacted his sense of what constituted an acceptable thing to say to a person while his dick was out." Is just HILARIOUS.
anonymous asked:
Honestly I can relate to Leonas cause just last week I was like 'I keep falling asleep in class maybe I should develop a caffeine addiction' and one of my friends was like 'pls eat more food' so I started to actually have breakfast and an after work snack and I magically stopped falling asleep in class
anonymous asked:
Minnow's hips don't lie, but castle ruins are strangely deceptive.
everyone who wasn't following along when astielleblogging intersected with kink taxonomy hell is going to be so confused if/when minnow finally gets stuck somewhere
@9ofspades asked:
Ari is my favorite again and I want him to have actual eternity to be happy with his poly soulmate throuple together. And also his big monster family. Also I think he's wrong about what the core of the Heir and Hero are - both of them have, deep in the core of their souls, the fact that they are Monsterfuckers.
for the record i have a post in my drafts with all of your readalong asks and i still haven't decided what to do with them but i enjoyed them IMMENSELY
anonymous asked:
>looking for food >ask the cook if their food is earthy or wet >she doesn't understand >pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is earthy and what is wet >she laughs and says "it's good food sir" >buy some food >its wet
@ivylaughed asked:
I love the tumblr meme references in Astielle. The guards bringing their own knives; there being an infinite variety of brassica oleracea; the fucking chocolate guy. I'm half-waiting for a children's hospital/color theory reference. Thank you for the easter eggs.
i'm glad someone read 'chocolate birdhouse' and immediately thought THAT FUCKING CHOCOLATE GUY AGAIN ashjasd
anonymous asked:
I just wanted to say that as a plant nerd and forager I deeply appreciated Minnow's surprisingly accurate botany lesson.
unfortunately all the books that leonas gave minnow are still at her house and so she cannot cite sources for the existence of hemlock, queen anne's lace, and giant hogweed
anonymous asked:
“I think you overestimate people’s willingness to admit when things don’t make sense to them," lmao Minnow has a point
will the two men she is with learn from this and start admitting when they don't know things they think they should and are confused? absolutely not.
anonymous asked:
XD Ari hears "Kavid" and immediately attempts a strategic retreat.
anonymous asked:
“‘you should get dressed’ is a complete sentence.” Is making me laugh.
it's probably for the best because if he actually had known all three of them were out there it would have taken him like an hour to get ready and he would have had at least one breakdown about how none of his outfits were good enough and it was all nari's fault
anonymous asked:
Kavid: I will be happy to HAVE YOU ALL *lascivious eyebrow wiggle* at my earliest convenience.
anonymous asked:
"he gets smaller" "in this weather who doesn't?" KITTY PLZZZ
anonymous asked:
I can't decide whether I love or hate Kavid - I have a very Specific idea in mind for his voice, though I admittedly can't figure out where I'm pulling it from. He is an Excellent character though. Lovely chapter as always :D
anonymous asked:
Before, I was entertained by Kavid. Now I love him.
anonymous asked:
Kitty, Kraven and Kavid have similar speech patterns on purpose, right??? Right?????
i was honestly imagining some kind of nonsense faux-european what-country-is-this-even-from hollywood accent but imagining that he has sounded extremely russian this whole time is extremely funny
@rose-and-bones asked:
SHE HAS A TYPE aghfgstjs
minnow having a thing for obnoxiously pretty men who think they're great aka self-recognition through the other (horny)
@speakingintothevoid asked:
“You are,” Leonas said, “an egotistical, self-important fop.” “Ye-e-es,” Kavid said without shame. “She has a type, does Starlight.” I! LOVE!! IT!!! Makes me almost think of Violet and Karzarul - our point of view character being faced with a version of themselves who are more comfortable in their own skin and our boys not knowing why that annoys them
@keleviel asked:
I rescind my earlier mild disdain, Kavid is great. Is he actually The Greatest Of Bards, or is that just more showmanship?
he rocks about as hard as you can rock on a lyre, which is probably harder than you'd think (especially if you brought a lot of drummers) (which he does)
anonymous asked:
Jakshahshsh every time a new astielle chapter comes out i read it at least twice. Kavid i love you. Leonas i love you also you fucked up lil man. And karzarul the seat. And minnow the mischievous. and just. poor nari. existing in the same world as minnow and her all-powerful boyfriends and also kavid. nari needs a raise
she really does
anonymous asked:
Bruce in Office Meeting and Leonas grabbing the wine when Kavid starts talking about Imperials solidarity.
anonymous asked:
"You would like to compare notes?""Always." Brilliant. Leonas to a t. Loving this interlude with kavid. Snuggly tipsy leonas is a treat. kavids talk of how the weather makes all of us smaller had me cackling. Also this batshit imperial conspiracy is gr8
anonymous asked:
I am suddenly much less comfortable about Leonas performing medical experiments on Minnow, though no fault of his own. :(
@mooseman13579 asked:
Leonas finding out about the weird sun empire truther stuff: haha I'm in danger
the real unanswered question is how much of this is news and how much of it is stuff he already knew and assumed was normal
@thegayknee asked:
Holy shit this is it, isnt it. This is how they fix karzarul's reputation and expose Leland. With the power of Kavid
anonymous asked:
Karzarul's Questlog: "Work on our Image" updated, The Tale of Hollow Monsters delivered to bard.
anonymous asked:
just how many of her lovers is minnow going to recruit into her questing party
she should probably be swapping people out to keep their levels consistent but instead she just keeps karzarul and leonas as her companions for every single quest
@flying-butter asked:
"Details! I need details!" "The king sucks." This is every conversation with any of the trio. Minnow likely knows how to complete half of Ari's quests and Leonas the other half, but no one talks about anything without prompting.
minnow just assumes that everyone knows what she knows because she can't possibly be the brains of the operation and meanwhile karzarul and leonas are both busy having shame
anonymous asked:
i was so excited for the lore drop but the moment Leonas sat in Karzarul's lap my brain just shut off
@themaidenisdeath asked:
oh yes, as we all know, "all business" and "taciturn" are the first words that come to mind when we think of Minnow. It reminded me of when she met Karzarul and he told her she was particularly chatty for hero. Sorry Kavid, you're just neither a Sweet, Considerate Monster with a Dick of Steel And Tentacles To Match™ nor a Twink Prince With Silky Hair, Dom Tendencies And Weird Dietary Beliefs™
@halfdeadfriedrice asked:
"what Hero business?" / "I'm the Hero. All my business is Hero business." You tell em Minnow! And then it turns out to be Quest relevant after all; all business is Hero business Also kavid's last night's makeup and messy convertible couch covered in laundry with half-empty wine bottles on the floor is THEE most visually resonant, I feel like I am visiting a college friend
leonas got very lucky that there weren't any cigarette butts floating in that wine because in his mood he might have just drank it anyway
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brownandblackpearls · 3 years
Text
🦇𝒯he  𝒱isitor (Alucard Tepes x BlackReader) Pt.3
PART 3 SUMMARY:
You’re given a lackluster tour of Dracula’s castle that adds more questions than it answers, yet your quarters are beyond admirable and enough to forget the mysteries for just tonight. His ice is slowly melting, but not enough for you to see anything certain. To help speed things along, you decide to be a friendly guest and cook breakfast for the both of you.
─── Alucard x black female reader
─── imagery + fiction
─── explicit smut
─── Fantasy, vampires, hurt/comfort, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, magic user, cute bats, gardening, cooking, cottagecore MC, castlecore Alucard.
☾ previous. ☾ next.
┌───────────━┿──┿━──────────┐
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└───────────━┿──┿━──────────┘
Your host is as gracious as the circumstances allow, you begin to realize. As immense and as glorious as the few parts of the castle you’ve seen are, your host confides that they were once even grander. He speaks briefly of there being a battle of sorts. He doesn’t say when or why, despite prodding, but it helps to fill in some of the gaps you have.
Spying some of the deeper gouges and gashes in the tough stone, you can’t help but wonder exactly what he was battling.
“You won the battle, then...?” You ask.
“Something like that,” he says simply enough, but it reads rather ominously to your ears.
You pause as you follow him, trying your best not to sound too afraid. You hope no enemies from this past battle still sneak about...
“So it’s just you and I, here…?”
He turns on you slowly, and a familiar dread rises in your gut as you realize you’ve angered him once again. Unfortunately for you, you’re not sure how. His features appear natural and still, but what you are feeling under your skin hints at the truth to his demeanor. You catch a hint of fang as he speaks, and you wonder if it’s intentional.
“Yes. Does that suit your plans?”
You hesitate, unsure.
“I…’plans’? I don’t—“
“—Allow me to assist you. Silver is a trifle. Stakes are laughable. Garlic does nothing, and no holy symbol nor water—no matter what wayward priest you find to bless it—will help your cause. Sunlight is a pleasure to my skin, which heals from fire, knife wounds, and all other maladies in conception, if you even manage to pierce it. If a Belmont had trouble making me bleed, you surely will. The few things that I am susceptible to, are magic, decapitation, and stakes, but then again, who isn’t? I implore you to try though, and wish you luck. Believe me, you will need it.”
Like before, as if you’ve been transported back behind the walls of books, he is upon you, and you cannot help but tremble. The ruby red is back, flickering just behind his sunstorm eyes. You are beside yourself but you do your best to think quickly as to what nonexistent offense he’s percieved.
‘Does he think I mean to kill him? How even could he assume such a thing…? From me, of all people...?’
“I do not wish to make an attempt on your life,” you say slowly, clearly. “My magic is very poor, but not my behavior towards hosts kind enough to allow me in their homes.” You put a heavy emphasis on the ‘host’ portion, hoping to remind him of his promise from before.
“Enlighten me then,” he asks in a tone that seeks anything but enlightenment. “Why do you want to know if we are alone, if not to better plan something that would require isolation?”
You find yourself frowning.
“You…you completely misunderstand me, sir…” you begin, stepping back. “I just…I asked if we were alone because….I…I…”
Something in your face must call out to his reason, because the red drains out from his eyes and he steps away, reeling back. The grieved look returns.
“You’re afraid,” he realizes suddenly, aloud. “You want to ensure nothing else lurks in these walls.”
You nod, happy to be comprehended, for once.
“Yes,” you insist. “The damage from the battle...I see it, and I think that your foes were very strong. I only hope they were all defeated and that it is just you and I here, alone, sir—er, Alucard.”
He nods, looking somewhat embarrassed now.
“It is only us, in these walls.”
You sigh happily, glad to have your fears discarded. The castle was still scary and intimidating of course, as large as it was. It felt as though something had to be tiptoeing somewhere around in the fortress, yet...he would know the place better than you, wouldn’t he...? And if he says its just you two, then hopefully that is so.
“Good,” you sigh. 
He makes no move at the sound of his name in your mouth, but he does think on your words before bowing his head ever so lightly.
“I apologize,” he admits. “I keep...jumping to conclusions. I made you fret after giving my word. Forgive me.”
You watch him with pleasant surprise, the corner of your mouth quirking up. 
So there were manners somewhere in there.
“You’re forgiven. I’m sure you must have had a rough go of assassins, being who you are and all.”
“I’ve had my share,” he admits, before turning to advance through the corridor. You don’t have time to think about his ‘share’, trying to keep up. You know he can move far faster than he is showing now, and you appreciate the effort he makes to go at a human pace so that you may follow closely behind. 
Deep down, you are still worried about what lays in the castle. You do feel safer, knowing something supernatural like him is at your side, and vowed to make sure no harm befalls you.
“Well,” you continue conversationally, trailing after him, “thank you for soothing my concerns. I feel all the safer for it.””
“...Odd,” he comments. “Hm?”
“You, feeling safer alone in Dracula’s castle, with a dhampir.”
You chuckle.
“I suppose it is odd when you put it that way. Just work on that temper of yours, and I’ll really be right as rain!” The jest is funny enough for you, but it doesn’t land so well with your present company.
He scowls, but the real heat is gone. Energized from knowing he is bound by promise and that there are no others here, you feel bold enough to place an assuring hand on his arm. 
He feels strong and solid, like stone. He stiffens before pulling away, peering down at you.
You try your best not to look too hurt. You smile assuringly instead.
“Believe me, Alucard. I’m not here to try and do you in. I mean, look at me! You think I’m foolish enough to attempt such a thing on you when I could hardly handle that crowd of ruffians outside?”
You laugh then, slapping a hand on your leg. It is the bare one from the rip in your dress, and the smack is much louder than you anticipate. It’s enough to silence you into meek embarrassment.
Alucard simply watches you before turning around and leading you on.
You follow him silently now, and you quickly find that the tour is rather lacking. He says little about the winding halls you are led through, and you can’t help but wonder the stories of each hallway, of each room. Will you ever learn of them?
The place is monstrous, and so the soles of your feet are a bit sore by the time you reach what Alucard regards as your quarters.
“You will stay here,” he gestures past a large emblemed door into a wide room. 
You peer inside, finding a beautifully canopied bed, heavy curtains attached to what you can only assume is a gigantic window. There is a large bookcase, a fireplace, an armchair, a desk, and a small door leading into another room. 
“That is your bathing room,” he notes.
When you stare at him curiously, he explains.
“My father possessed immense technological advancements,” he says quickly, as if he’s explained it several times before. Perhaps he has.
‘So his father is Dracula,’ you think. ‘But the stories of Dracula were much more…gruesome and cruel. If this is his son...this man is certainly scary when roused, but…’
His deep voice breaks you out of your reverie.
“The washing room has a basin called a ‘tub’. There is also a bidet with a smaller basin called a toilet. No need for outhouses or bringing up jugs of water here. We have plumbing.”
Now, you’re utterly confused.
Alucard sighs.
“Just…follow me. I’ll show you.”
You do just that and watch, engrossed, as your host thoroughly lays out and points to every faucet, knob, and all of their uses. Before long, you ascend from a common traveling woman to an expert in an alternate world knowledgeable on things such as ‘plumbing’.
You beam at the tub and sink, too giddy with joy to hide it. You bounce a little, your hands drawing to your chest excitedly.
Alucard levels a raised brow at you, pausing.
“...Are you alright?”
You nod happily, twirling in the bathroom to face him.
“This place is incredible! Plumbing! Who would’ve thought? There was almost something like this I saw over the Eastern seas, but the people there called them…acq..acqueducts! They were these large beams that delivered their water…oh, but no matter! My hair! Goodness, it will be leagues easier…”
Alucard glances at your crown of curled, kinky locks before refocusing on you.
“How did you manage, before?”
“Oh, ponds. Streams. Rivers. The seaside. That sort of thing,” you say absently. “The chill of the water did wonders for my mane, but I felt like an icicle the entire time. And you say I can have heated, freshwater through these devices? I can’t lie, I’m ecstatic!”
Alucard nods shortly at that, watching you curiously, but seemingly unable to share your interest in the fixtures. Perhaps you’re more of an interest for him at this point than the plumbing. You eyeball his own healthy mane and assume he’s long been used to such luxuries.
“Oh, but…can I wash my garbs in the tub, too?”
Alucard tilts his head at that before realization sparks in his eyes.
“No. No, you’ll wear something else. That’s fairly ruined.”
You silently leave out the part that it is partially his fault, but he seems to catch on anyway.
“I…” he tries stiffly. “I apologize again. For before.”
“Oh?” You respond innocently. “For what? Scaring me? Yelling at me? Threatening my life? Tripping me?”
He sinks a little lower with each act. 
“All of it.”
“Oh! Well, then you’re forgiven. As much as I appreciate the apology, I have a feeling that this ‘tub’ will more than make up for it.”
Alucard seems to relax at that, showing you the cabinets with everything you’ll need.
“I’ll…” he trails off. “I’ll find you some clothing.”
He turns to leave, but you reach out to gently grip the tuft of white blouse peeking out from his sleeve. He turns, watching you sharply. 
He does not pull away, though. You call it progress.
“Alucard,” you say. “Thank you for your hospitality. Sincerely.”
He looks to the floor instead of your eyes—as if he’s afraid of what he’ll find there—before gently pulling away and wordlessly leaving the room.
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You are lucky enough to find interesting soaps and good-smelling candles before working the bath. With some maneuvering and much delight, you are able to conjure bubbles through use of items you’ve scavenged from the cabinets. You find washcloths, sponges, brushes, and an assortment of other things.
You want to wait for your host to return first, but as the minutes continue to pass you realize you need to take advantage of the hot water before it cools.
You shed your clothes, undo your hair, and step into the water-filled basin.
“God…” you whisper, goosebumps rising on your skin.
It feels incredible.
You sink into the water, a smile on your face. You haven’t felt something this good since traveling to hot springs in your more daring adventures. Back then, you had to evade the cultist locals for a hint of heated water. This was so different, as it was your own personal hot spring whenever you desired!
You sink deeper into the water for a bit before beginning to scrub and lather your journey off of you. You decide to empty and fill the tub once more, just because you can, and bathe a little more before feeling pristine to your liking.
Stepping out, you massage in some leftover body oil from your pack. You clean the basin before peeking out into your room.
There is no one present, but a new, soft nightdress lays comfortably on the chair. Your fireplace is even lit.
You smile to yourself as you step out and lift the nightdress, assessing it.
“So his bark is louder than his bite,” you decide aloud.
You change swiftly, and despite being in such an strange situation, once in the massive bed, you find sleep has come right on your heels. Your eyes almost slide shut until you hear a knock at your door.
You open your eyes and slip out of bed. You push open your door—which has a heavy lock, you now realize—to see Alucard, in low lantern light, gazing back at you.
“I trust you found everything,” he says, rather than asks. You hear the question for what it is.
“Yes,” you smile. “Thank you.”
He considers your expression for a long moment before nodding his affirmation.
“Hm. Very well. There is a lock on the door of your room…if that’s any consolation to any fears you may have. Feel free to use it. Good night then,” he says, turning to leave.
“Alucard?” You call.
When he waits for you without turning to face you, you speak.
“Where will you be staying?”
‘If I need you,’ you think. 
You soon realize that this may become a situation where Alucard hears something in your speech that is not really there. With a solemn look, and the absence of an anger just as disturbing as its presence, he points to a door just down the hall from you. You would be pleased if not for the expression on his face.
“Just there,” he says. 
You realize that due to the two misunderstandings being him assuming you want to kill him, that this is likely what this third time revolves around. 
“Alucard,” you try, “I don’t intend to condescend, but you must know, I only ask for my own concern. I’m happier to know that my host is nearby. I meant no ill will by it. I’d be a poor assassin, remember?”
“Yes,” he answers quietly, as if he really is just recalling it. “I remember.”
“You’d hear me before I even entered, I bet!”
“I would.”
“So there is nothing to worry about…right…?”
His stiff shoulders finally seem to relax an inch. 
“I suppose. In any case…You are not to enter my domain, under any circumstances, outside of imminent danger. It would be…unwise of you.”
You nod, unsure of what exactly he means but positive he that he does mean what he says.
“I will see you in the morning...?” 
He pauses at that, looking somewhat bewildered. 
“I…yes, you will.”
“Alright!” You nod, pleased. “Good night then.”
Closing the door, you turn to the large, firelit room and beam.
It is a princess’s quarters…no, a queen’s! You will live lavish while you’re here, it seems.
You lay on the soft mattress under the thick covers, knowing pleasure you’ve never felt before until sleep takes you gently into the night.
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When you wake, it is before the sun has fully broken into the sky. Pretty blues and pinks spill across the sky outside your window, so different from the cold colors of the day before. Rising in your nightgown, you spy a dress on the chair of your room. Alucard must have entered in your sleep. Had you locked the door...? You cannot recall. Under normal circumstances, traveling on the road, you would have never forgotten such a thing as utilizing a lock. For some reason, perhaps last night you felt you didn’t need to. 
You absently palm your neck for pinpricks of the vampiric sort, and find nothing.
‘Good enough for me, then.’
The dress lays before you, waiting
It is different, without any tears, and deep in its color. You pause before adorning it, turning this way and that in the looking glass before attempting to do something with your hair. 
‘I look rather stunning in this. Why does he have such nice women's clothing lying about, I wonder...?’
Once complete, you decide to do something as equally nice for your host as this dress was for you.
“Breakfast! I’ll make us breakfast. Dhampirs can eat food, right…? Now, if only I could find the kitchen…”
You spy your basket by the door. Another gift from your late-night visitor.
You pick up your newly returned basket from the room’s entrance, flipping over the blanket to spy your stolen vegetables still intact. 
You leave your rooms with a smile that slowly falls.
‘He said not to disturb him…perhaps I can find the kitchens myself? They must be on the first level, maybe the underground chambers, if anything. That’s how all castles are. I’d better start now if I hope to finish in time.’
You’re certain you will get lost, but you have a feeling that your host can easily find you again.
You pause, realizing something.
‘I hope I don’t find bottles of blood or something lying around…or something else’
On that sobering thought, you strap your dagger’s hilt tighter to your thigh. Alucard said you were both alone, but it couldn’t hurt to be vigilant.
You venture out and do your best to recreate the inverse of Alucard’s path to the great hall. After several turns and rerouting, you finally begin to recognize the way back to the grand hall. It takes far longer than you anticipated, and your soles begin to complain a little once you find the grand staircase.
With some exploration on the main floor, you finally come across a door leading into what appears to be a small kitchen. The floors are clean as are the pots and pans hanging from their hooks on the walls. You spy plenty of utensils, knives, and what appears to be another basin...plumbing. You will ask Alucard the name later.
You set down the basket, pleased to have reached your goal, and get to work.
“Can’t have just a vegetable scramble. He’s a literal dhampir, and I could use some protein.”
You can't find any aprons about, and so you wrap what looks to be a tablecloth around your pretty dress. No reason to ruin it with the trials of breakfast.
You hunt for eggs, meat, nuts, and anything of the protein type. After some pillaging, you are able to find all three and get to work. The eggs are small, and the meat is fox, rabbit, and fish instead of the typical villager fare of cows and pigs, but you make it work. You wash your hands and begin to carve out fillets, prep vegetables from your basket, and luck upon some spices. You search for oil, but can only find butter, and so you do your best with it.
Soon enough, the kitchen begins to fill with the scents and fumes of a bountiful breakfast. You plate the spiced eggs, the braised meat, the sautéed vegetables, and fill a pitcher with water. You think about finding the secret garden nearby once more to perhaps make juice from berries and fruits, or even preserve. Turning to the wood table, you set everything down before finding your final item.
The loaf of bread is well hidden, but not well enough. It is a little stale, but not enough to discourage. You claim it and cut it before setting it out on the table as well.
Turning to wash your hands one final time, you are unsurprised to find Alucard stalking in the doorway of the kitchen when you turn back around.
“What are you doing...?” he grouses, clearly just having recently awoken.
“Cooking us breakfast,” you sass, “you’re welcome, by the way. Oh, uh...you can eat food, right...?”
Alucard’s sleepy demeanor slowly fades as he nods, his interest growing as the smells of food clearly begin to assault him and cause wonders for his mood.
“Well?” You say, undoing the tablecloth-apron and taking a seat for yourself. “What are you waiting for? Sit with me, let’s eat!”
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AN: Do not under any circumstances copy, repost, or edit any of my work. If you see someone do so, please let me know.
☾ previous. ☾ next. 
☾ check my blog for more imagines.
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cassafra5 · 3 years
Text
Where Have I Been?
Hey everyone,
It’s been a long while since I’ve made an address about what’s been going on with me and why I’ve had difficulty posting. It’s felt weird being on this site with the large elephant in the room being “what happened to you?” After having made addresses previously explaining a couple of rough experiences, I felt too ashamed to mention something even worse. It felt awful to post something after more than a year of nearly no activity, but I feel like it’s been severe enough to warrant this. I had also been requested not to speak originally because certain parties were worried about becoming “pariahs” on here, but I am writing this post to clear the air and to explain what has happened by my own account.
It’s been more than a year since I escaped an incredibly abusive relationship and left New York. After having lived there for three years, it has taken me quite a while to begin recovering from everything that has happened since 2016 until recent. During this time, my spouse and I were used by his family as caretakers for his grandmother, and we were also threatened with homelessness as his family considered taking the condo we lived in. The mounting stress caused him to start lashing out and to begin drinking, and his behavior grew increasingly erratic. For more than 3 years, I lived in a home where every door was broken to get to me when I tried to get away, and every wall in the house was left with a hole or a dent. I was forced to live under horrible conditions, but when I reached out for help about the abuse, multiple people antagonized me, shunned me, and waved away my concerns because “it’s not like he hits you every day.” My mental and physical health suffered greatly, and I still have lapses in my memory from that time because of just how dire my circumstances became.
Inevitably, I had to leave and was “helped” by some coworkers who, unfortunately, took my situation as a means of having a personal crusade, and thus exacerbated the situation further. Police were involved and I had to endure literally running away with what I could carry. Our divorce only just finalized. A majority of my belongings are still in New York, as I only carried back what I could scramble together while I had the police with me, as well as what was sent to me to try to convince me to come back. At this point, I don’t expect to get my remaining belongings back.
My ex is very unhinged and not well. It is harmful and counterproductive for me to be in contact with him or to involve myself any further with him. That being said, I would appreciate that anyone reading this not reach out to him, if you know who he is, as it may cause further incidents that I do not want. This address is mainly for my own recovery to help me move on with my life, and to explain why I’ve been so inactive. Despite it all, I want him to grow as a person and move on with his life as well.
During our separation, my ex involved a Tumblr user that has commissioned me multiple times. He effectively used this person as a means of getting information about me and to put me in a hostage situation – stating multiple times that if I didn’t speak to him, he would go through this person. I fought with my ex multiple times to try and get this person removed from our personal issues, but repeated attempts to warn this individual did not work. I excused this user’s behavior multiple times because they are very young and naïve, and for a while I assumed they just didn’t understand the situation enough to see how much they were hurting me and furthering the abuse. However, I was then made aware that this person was taking commissions from my ex and making decent money off of him. Even more egregious, they were also giving my ex information about me on who I was hanging out with, what I was currently doing, my day to day schedule, etc. I actually had to argue with this person over my safety and privacy, only to get “but I’m making money” as an excuse for them to continue selling my information. To say this was a breach of my confidence and trust is an understatement, and I cannot explain how violated and outraged I felt when I found out that a follower I was trying to protect had blatantly chosen to stay in the middle of my messy divorce and profit off of my mentally-ill ex while spying on me.
In LA I had a rough time adjusting. I did not have a support system to come back to and unfortunately I realized just how quick some people are to take advantage of someone in my situation. I have ultimately learned that I can’t try to understand people like that nor give them the benefit of the doubt. Throughout my time here on Tumblr, I have met some wonderful people such as @kirain who I’ve become best friends with, and who actively helped me escape the situation I had been in. But I’ve also discovered that some people don’t see me as a person worth basic common decency and respect. I’ve literally had users reach out to me just to get the details and gossip for their own amusement, or to either one-up me or stroke their egos over their own successful relationships, which has hurt me immensely. I even had a nightmare where my ex found me and chased me down, and when I reached out to the person he’d turned against me, the only response I got was, “Well, technically I just commission you, so I’m more of a client than a friend, so you shouldn’t be angry.” This person continued to take my ex’s money and profit off of everything that happened after I cut contact, and I don’t have the words to explain how absolutely nonsensical this entire situation seems to me.
I have cut off both individuals from my life and, while I don’t want to jinx it, I am doing much better. It’s been very difficult, but I’ve been recovering and have made great strides. I’m fixing up my house and making it my own after years of feeling like I couldn’t unless my ex allowed me to. I am working and learning in a new profession and I’m finding people who I can really feel are friends, and even more so. It’s been very night and day to be around people who respect and care about my wants and needs, and to have my autonomy back. I no longer have that feeling of being dipped in acid, which is exactly how I felt in New York.
Getting back into drawing and expressing myself is a challenge and something I’m slowly trying to revive. I do really appreciate all of your patience and kindness. Some things I used to draw are a bit difficult but I am slowly getting better.
To my ex and to the follower mentioned, I would ask that you refrain from contacting me or retaliating. I do still have videos, screenshots and other things that I have kept. If I am attacked for making this post, I can and will release them to corroborate my story. All I want is to be left alone, and I should not be silenced and muted because of you fearing repercussions for your actions.
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stealing-jasons-job · 3 years
Text
Dear fanfic readers...
I want to start this by saying I love you all. Seriously. I honestly wouldn’t still be writing fanfic if you guys didn’t exist. And I think that’s probably true of a lot of writers. We thrive on readers enjoying our work, leaving kudos/comments, reblogging, sharing with friends, etc. And 99% of people who read/comment don’t fall into this category. 
But I have to address something. Er, I have to address a few somethings. Tonight, one of my dear friends received a nasty comment on one of their fics. It was, frankly, a mean rant disagreeing about the choices said writer made in the chapter update. But what really struck me was what they said at the end of the comment—that they admire the author’s work and that they are excited about future chapters. Which to me, meant that they meant their comment as a constructive criticism rather than to be purposefully hateful. 
Which leads me to my first “something”: 
Long comments about things you personally disagree with in a story is not constructive criticism. 
I say this as someone who gives actual constructive criticism to writers for a living. Calling someone’s work horrible or hollow or misguided or flat or [insert long list of other adjectives I’ve seen non-writers call someone’s work] isn’t constructive criticism. It’s not constructive. It’s just mean. 
Moreover, constructive criticism has to be founded on mutual trust. If you’re commenting on ao3 or Tumblr or Twitter on someone’s work who did not ask you specifically for constructive criticism, that trust isn’t there. 
You’re welcome to your opinions about someone’s story or work. But you are not welcome to share those negative opinions when you don’t have consent. Even when you DO have consent, that constructive criticism needs to be well-structured to include real reasons why something isn’t working in a story (”I don’t personally agree with this choice” is not an example of a real reason) and ways to improve. That respect is the very least a writer deserves when someone is asked (notice how I bolded asked, bc it’s fucking important) to give feedback on work that they spent time and effort on.  Which leads me to my next “something”: 
Fanfic is provided for free, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t cost something. 
I saw a post on here recently (linked here) that talked about how fanfic is provided at no cost to the reader, but that doesn’t mean it’s “free” for the writer. And this is something I think some non-writers don’t quite understand. 
Writing a story—whether it be based on characters from a TV show like this fic or based on original characters of your own creation—is a lot of fucking work. It takes hours of your time and so much mental energy. There's the planning and the plotting and the actual writing and the editing and the working up the nerve to post it so that others can see it and hopefully like it. And all of that labor, all of that emotional/mental/physical labor is done for free. So that the stories in our heads and hearts can exist and so that readers can enjoy them.
EVERY choice is thought out. Every. Single. One. Every conversation is considered, every dialogue tag is placed with intention, every choice the character makes is one we make first. And do we always agree with the choices our characters make? Do these choices always perfectly mirror what would likely happen in real life or even if another write were to have written the story? No, not always. But damn if we didn't have a reason for letting them make them regardless. Every facet of a story is considered—especially for longer fics. 
So hours of work and a mountain of emotional, mental, and physical energy is put into a fic. Writers open up a door for readers to see into our minds and hearts and souls for these stories. And the very least readers can do is tell us when those stories resonates, and be kind and respectful regardless of if it resonates or not. Deciding to shit on a story because you don't personally agree with the direction the story is headed? That's heartbreaking. And irritating. And frankly unmotivating. 
Which brings me to my final “something” of this post: 
Negativity and indifference are killing Fandom. 
We’ve all seen how Fandom (and I’m not just talking about one specific fandom, I’m talking about capital-F Fandom as a whole) has gone downhill in recent years. There’s less engagement with works, less discussion happening between readers/creators/writers/casual viewers of a fandom, and more writers/creators leaving Fandom behind. 
That’s mostly because of negativity and indifference.  There are a lot of posts about how people (and I include myself in this because I really need to do better, and I’ve been trying) need to make a mindful effort to comment on fics you like, kudos fics you like, reblog, retweet, converse with your favorite writers/creators, etc. So I won’t harp on that again here. 
But negativity is another culprit here. Putting a fic or a piece of art out into the world is terrifying. More terrifying to some than others, but there are nerves and anxieties that go into it no matter who you are. And unlike paid authors publishing books or showrunners air tv shows, the only thing we get in return are the kudos/comments/reblogs/retweets from readers. That’s it. So when we put hours of time and effort and those little pieces of our soul into works only to be met with indifference or hateful comments (even when they are misguided attempts at constructive criticism), it makes the benefit of all that work less and less appealing. 
I’ve seen too many writers abandon works and leave fandoms (including t100 fandom, specifically the bellarke fandom) because of this. And I hate it. We have too many talented writers and creators for that. Moreover, the world needs those talented writers and creators to keep making things they love for it to keep spinning (a topic for another long Tumblr post). 
So how can Fandom be a better place for writers/creators? 
First thing’s first, participate. See a piece of art you loved? Reblog it. Read a fic you adored? Comment something to that effect. Find authors or creators you admire? Reach out to say hey! Or just hit the follow button and interact with posts if you’d rather not say hi. We appreciate all of it and love you immensely for it. 
But the kicker once you start participating is doing it mindfully. Think about what you’re commenting and whether it’s helpful or harmful. A long string of emojis bc you can’t put how much you loved a fic into words? We love to see it. Novel-length tags in your reblogs about your favorite lines? Will probably make our day. DMs or asks about upcoming chapters or fic ideas? We’ll scream our joy and talk your ear off. 
A rant about how you thought the characterization of Bellamy in this fic was off? That’s not helpful if the writer didn’t ask you specifically for that kind of feedback. And hateful comments about how a fic needs to be updated sooner or how a certain update didn’t mean your qualifications for how you personally wanted a story to continue? Definitely not helpful (and a honestly a dick move). 
I have no qualms about speaking on behalf of all fanfic writers when I say that we LOVE every single person who reads our shit. We thrive on people reading our stories and then telling us and their followers how much they loved it. No (kind) comment goes unnoticed or unappreciated. 
So please, please, please spread kindness whenever you can to writers and creators. <3 
All my love, 
A fanfic writer who is terrified that negativity is going to drive all my fandom friends away, and who might get carpal tunnel if I have to write another novel-length rebuttal to someone being an ass on AO3 to one of my friends
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hopelesshawks · 3 years
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Love and Admiration Part 7- Drinks
18+ Bakugo x fem!pro hero reader
Summary: (Y/n) has known Bakugo since middle school, admired him since high school, and had a crush on him since the first time they met. Even now, a top pro hero in her own right, she can’t shake her school girl crush. Too bad Bakugo literally has no idea she exists. Well that’s not entirely true… He does know pro hero Mercury exists, but (y/l/n) (y/n)? Never heard of her.
Warning for male masturbation
Masterlist Help Lulu <3
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You must have cycled through half a dozen different outfits before you finally settled on one you liked: a careful balance of sexy and comfortable after a long day of hero work. You’ve only been to Masahiro’s once before but it’s a nice enough place and the drinks are good. You spend a stupid amount of time putting on makeup and then double, triple, and quadruple checking how you look in the mirror before you finally head out.
It’s an easy train ride into downtown, a few people recognize and stop you to ask for an autograph or words of wisdom or advice. It’s a surreal experience, sure your popularity has been exploding lately but it’s still odd to be treated as a celebrity. As you walk past a billboard of yourself advertising athleticwear it occurs to you that you kind of are a celebrity. Your train of thought is interrupted by Masahiro’s coming into view. You hurriedly duck into the bar, it’s pretty empty on a Thursday night so it doesn’t take you long to spot Bakugo. He, of course, looks incredible. He’s got on a plaid over shirt that he’s rolled up to his elbows, impressive forearms on display. The black tee he wears beneath it stretches tightly over his muscular chest. He’s sitting at the bar top but you can still appreciate the way his jeans hug his legs. He’s scowling down at his phone, having not noticed your entrance, and it shouldn’t be an attractive expression but somehow on him it just is. You take a deep steadying breath as you steel your nerves, trying to calm down your racing heart as you walk over towards him.
“Where are the others?” Bakugo’s head snaps up at the sound of your voice, eyes connecting with yours. “They bailed,” he scoffs, his annoyance clear in his voice. You hum in acknowledgment but then lean against the bar to flag down the bartender. Bakugo watches you curiously, only now properly taking in your appearance. You look good, he’ll admit. In the back of his head a voice that sounds suspiciously like Denki corrects him that you look hot. It’s his first time seeing you in civilian clothing, he realizes, and you wear it well. He’s still trying to decide whether he prefers you in your civilian clothes or hero costume when you finally get the bartender’s attention and the sound of your voice snaps Bakugo out of his trance. His ears go slightly pink when he realizes his train of thought and he quickly shakes his head as if doing so will physically dislodge the thought from his brain. He decides to instead focus on whatever you’re talking to the bartender about. “An order of your finest saké please, and just keep the bottles coming until we ask you to stop,” you tell the bartender with a grin. Bakugo is about to stop you, it’s a ludicrous fucking request considering the astronomical price tag that will surely come with it, but then you finish your sentence. “Oh and would you mind putting it on Chargebolt’s tab? He wanted to treat us to celebrate our big bust today but had to bail cause of work stuff. Y’know how pro hero work is,” you continue. “Of course! No problem Mercury, I’ll get right on that,” the bartender tells you before whisking off to fulfill your request.
As you get comfortable in your seat you find Bakugo giving you a slightly impressed look to which you respond with a shrug. “If he’s gonna bail on us the least he can do is let us get plastered on his money. If the bill gets too ridiculous we’ll switch to one of the other flakes’ tabs,” you reply with a grin. To your delight, Bakugo’s mouth stretches into an amused smirk as he chuckles. “Well played Mercury, well played,” he tells you as the bartender brings over the first bottle and fills two small glasses for you both. “We’re off duty, at least call me (y/l/n),” you tell him with a roll of your eyes. “Well then (y/l/n), let’s make dunce face’s fucking wallet hurt,” Bakugo tells you, grin almost feral as he takes his glass and holds it up. “I’ll drink to that,” you grin before raising your own. The two of you cheers before quickly drinking down the contents of your cups, probably too quickly considering the quality it, and then pour yourselves another round.
Fast forward a few hours and you both have had way too much to drink. Your laughter is too loud, your grins too wide, but neither of you seems to care and after one person had tried to tell you to quiet down and Bakugo nearly ripped their head off no one else has made an attempt. Bakugo genuinely didn’t expect to have this good of a time. Sure, you occasionally would start teasing him, bringing back his trademark scowl, but it was always good natured in the same way Kirishima, Kaminari, and (dare he say it) even Deku tended to be. The kind of teasing he didn’t hate, the kind that didn’t make him want to hide under the bluster and temper that he’d worn like a shield most of his life. He also can’t help but notice little things about you like the beautiful color of your eyes, the way your outfit hangs off your incredible body just right, the way your laugh seems to brighten the entire room. The more the two of you drink the harder it is for him to push the thoughts away. Every time you almost catch him staring a little too intently, he’s immensely grateful he can blame the flush in his cheeks on the alcohol. You are distracting in a way no one has ever been for him and it’s a disconcerting enough thought that he shoves it away and locks it in a box full of things he refuses to think about.
“Hey Bakugo, you listening?” you ask, waving a hand in front of his face. “Course I’m listening dumbass what?” he snaps, disgruntled at being caught lost in his thoughts of you. “That’s a lie,” you snort. Bakugo is about to snap at you but you raise your hand to cover his mouth with a giggle to stop him from saying anything. “Last call was like an hour ago, they’re kicking us out dummy,” you tell him, sliding your hand away from his mouth to let him reply. “You’re so drunk,” he accuses you like a hypocrite. “So are you,” you fire back. He doesn’t have a rebuttal for that so he just rolls his eyes before grasping hold of your hand and pulling you from the bar and into a waiting rainstorm outside.
Bakugo knows he should let go of your hand now that you two are outside. He knows you both should go somewhere to take shelter from the rain. There’s a lot of things he should do but instead he’s just standing opposite you, staring at your wide delighted eyes as you grin from ear to ear, alcohol keeping you warm even as the rain soaks through you two’s clothes. This is the part where he’s supposed to say goodnight and the two of you will walk your separate ways but he finds himself not wanting to leave you yet. “C’mon idiot, lemme walk you home,” he tells you tugging you along towards the train back to Hosu City. “I can walk myself home you know, I am a pro hero,” you tell him teasingly as you catch up to walk along beside him. The mere thought of you walking around the city drunk and alone is enough to send a protective surge through Bakugo as he growls out “Absolutely fucking not.” Even on the train he tugs you in closer against him, hiding you in the protective shell of his body and trying very hard not to think about exactly how close you are right now as you giggle and tease him. Your smell fills his nose and it’s intoxicating. He almost feels more drunk off your very presence than he does the copious amounts of saké the two of you had consumed.
Finally the two of you arrive at your apartment and Bakugo finds himself wishing the walk had taken longer. “This is me,” you tell him as the two of you walk up to your front door. He needs to let you go, you’re both soaked through and could use a long, hot shower but his alcohol soaked brain insists on telling him the two of you should conserve water and shower together. He tries to keep his eyes focused on yours but he can’t help the way they instead wander down to your lips. They’re so close and you’re standing there so open and vulnerable. Without consciously choosing to do so Bakugo feels himself start to lean in as if pulled by some gravitational force. He’s close, so close and when your eyes flutter shut he knows you feel the same pull he does. Just before he can close that final distance between you two, your phone rings, shattering the moment and causing both of you to spring apart. You curse and fumble to retrieve your phone before hurriedly answering. “Wha- yea. I just got home actually. Yes I’m fine,” you tell whoever is on the line with an exaggerated roll of your eyes. You mouth an apology to Bakugo but he’s a little preoccupied trying to figure out what the actual fuck just came over him as you finish up your phone call. Finally you hang up and turn back to him. “Sorry about that, just a friend checking I made it home safe,” you explain. “It’s fine I should, uh, get going,” Bakugo says, looking anywhere but at you with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “Oh, ok,” you reply and Bakugo wonders idly if he’s imagining the disappointment he hears in your voice. “I’ll see ya around I guess,” he tells you. “Yea, I’ll see you around,” you reply. He nods and then turns around on his heel and quickly walks back down the direction the two of you had come in, oblivious to your gaze still trained on his back long after he’s entered the stairs.
When Bakugo gets back to his own apartment he almost immediately peels out of his wet clothes, leaving them in a heap in his bathroom as he pads across the cool tiles over to his shower. He can’t get you out of his head. Your laughter, your smile, your body, and especially the way you’d looked as he’d started leaning in towards you in front of your door. He turns the water on hot, waiting until it heats up properly before he steps beneath the spray. He thought the water might help clear his mind but it has the opposite effect. All he can do is think what may have happened had your phone not rang. Unbidden his brains offers him images of him closing that final distance to bring your lips together. He pictures pulling you in closer and kissing you senseless, pictures the way you’d breathlessly pull away just enough to invite him into your apartment. How the two of you would have made your way to the bathroom and stripped out of your wet clothes together instead of alone on opposite sides of town. His dick is already painfully hard when the temptation becomes too much and he reaches down and wraps one hand around it. As he slowly begins to jack himself off, he closes his eyes and pictures your hand wrapped around him instead. The image is so vivid, the memory of you so fresh, that it doesn’t take long for him to start approaching climax. He uses his free hand to steady himself on the wall as he moves his hand faster and faster, still pretending it’s you driving him closer and closer to orgasm. When he finally falls over the precipice, his cum splattering against the shower wall opposite him, it’s your last name that he moans as he slowly pumps himself through it until he’s finally spent. As he slowly comes back to himself, the post orgasmic haze clearing little by little, Bakugo is struck by two thoughts:
1. He is going to murder his idiotic friends
2. He is completely and utterly fucked
A/N: The fic finally earns its 18+ rating. Also, Masahiro’s comes from Masahiro Sakurai, the game developer who created the Kirby and Super Smash Bros games, which have always been my favorite.
Taglist: @pixelwisp @oliviasslut @larkspyrr @heroacadema @kozukatsuki @captaincyberqueen @undead-nyx
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ginanosakka · 3 years
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We Were Kids
Masterlist
We’re Older Now | Next
“You’re going to make her disappear again, Bakugou!” Mina said, frustration breaking through the tone of her voice as they patrolled the streets together once again.
Ever since Y/N had made her grand appearance back into their lives, Mina and Katsuki talked more than ever. Katsuki needed help taking care of Ryu since this was obviously brand new to him so he’d ask Mina for help on how to handle him, and Mina wanted to be kept updated to make sure he didn’t screw anything up. They were both so unsure on how to help you, especially when you were so closed off about your side of the story. Being around eachother wasn’t as bad as either of them thought though, and they could thank you for making them find that out.
It was talk to Mina about Y/N or Kirishima and something about that didn’t sit right with him.
“She’s not that stupid,” Katsuki grunted in his defense. “I was trying to be fucking nice to her, she knows that.”
That was only kind of a lie, he was trying to be kinder, softer for her. That immense guilt that weighed down his chest everyday since you came back into his life only got heavier the more he chipped away at the walls you put up, because he was beginning to realize that he should have never been your hero. Every memory he had where he thought you were acting spoiled and trying to buy him like your father was, he was able to reevaluate it and see that you were genuinely naive and trying to love him. How the hell could he blame you for being spoiled when that’s how you were raised?
He did almost exactly what he did to Deku to you: project his insecurities.
“What did she say? Did she yell at you?” Mina pressed the topic.
The smile completely washed off your face, replaced with that cold expression he had been given before. Katsuki knew now that it wasn’t who you were — you weren’t cold hearted and ruthless like your father, but you were smart enough to pick up on his mannerisms and use them — but it didn’t fail to bring him back to the bigger picture.
The relationship between you two was severed, he was a thick branch on the root of your trauma, and you were strong enough to pretend it was okay, but you refused to forget.
“Yours? Don’t get ahead of yourself, Dynamight. I can build an empire from ashes, and I can easily turn this life you love so much into a personal hell. I don’t belong to anyone, and I owe nothing to anyone. You on the other hand, owe me your respect and your loyalty if you want to be in your son’s life. If anything you are mine, and from what I’ve been told, that’s not something to be proud of.”
He felt that sharp pain hit his chest again and his lungs tighten, “don’t worry about it.”
Mina rolled her eyes and threw her hands up as they walked. “Did you tell her about the press conference today? She hasn’t even considered staying at your place yet.” Katsuki stopped in his tracks as her sentence finished, his whole body frozen in step and Mina face-palmed.
“She’s totally going to kill you.”
The noise from the television playing Ryu’s favorite channel broadcasting hero events was barely audible over the sounds of him stomping and imitating noises of guns and his explosions going off. You expected that your wooden coffee table would once again have his footprints on them, and some of his toys would be scattered on the floor mimicking hurt heroes. Hopefully your couches would still be brown and without burn marks when you went back out there, but that concern was easily put to rest by the one who currently had his eyes on your son while you made them snacks in the kitchen.
You finished platting the carrots and grapes — Ryu would refuse to eat any snack if grapes weren’t included in the mix — and grabbed the two plates with varying portions of the snack you threw together before walking back out into the “war zone”. The moment you were in view with a plate Ryu was at your legs, hopping up and down in anticipation for his afternoon snack he probably desperately needed from all the constant running he did. You put his plate on the coffee table for him to sit on the floor and eat, hopefully without playing around with it, and took a few more steps to the couch where your unexpected guest sat.
“Thank, Y/N! You didn’t have to make me one too,” Kirishima grinned, flashing you all of his sharp teeth in appreciation.
You smiled softly, “it’s really no problem. You’re the only visitor I have that doesn’t cause me unwanted stress, so feel free to make yourself comfortable.”
Kirishima watched you take a seat on the floor next to your child, the one that looked nothing like you, but like the boy that broke your heart. He watched as you smiled at him eating, picking up the pieces of food he’d drop onto the tables, and running your hands through his hair and fixing it to your liking. It was so clear what your priority was — what your life centered around. It was nostalgic because he had seen that look on your face before; with Katsuki.
He couldn’t shake the realization now; you had always been a decent person. When Katsuki would talk down about you as if you were less than, it had nothing to do with who you really were, and had everything to do with the image he had projected on you. What made him feel worse is how he saw how much you loved Bakugou — not only Bakugou, but Mina too — and he still somehow believed what Katsuki was saying. He was the only one of his friends that didn’t feel right using you like that. He watched them all, Kaminari, Sero, Uraraka, and even Momo, but never voiced a single concern.
“I’m sorry.” He gasped as he tried to contain the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. He had to close his eyes and clutch his knees, but even that couldn’t stop the waterfall from pouring down his eyes. “I can’t imagine what you must have felt when. . how lonely you must have been. . “
“Red Rio-“ Kirishima cut Ryu off.
“I don’t deserve that hero name when I did something so unmanly!”
“Kirishima!” You scolded, standing up and guiding Ryu to go into the kitchen, giving him a look that told him to just stay put and you’ll speak to him later.
Going back into the living room, you shook your head at the crying man on your couch. This wasn’t something you expected from him, but then again he had more emotional awareness than any of the people involved at a young age. You couldn’t help but wonder what he uses to think of you, what Katsuki told him you were truly like when you two were alone. Seeing him cry and apologize in a fit of obvious guilt didn’t make you feel good, and the thought of it being Katsuki doing the apologizing didn’t bring you any kind of comfort either.
But why?
You took a seat next to Kirishima with your hands cupped together on your lap. “Growing up, I wanted to be just like my dad. . He was this amazing business man that was good at everything, and no one could tell him anything, you know? He made it seem like the only way to succeed was to crush someone else, to have more money than everyone else, and that shaped who I was.” You recalled, going back through your memory as best as you could the same way you did when you sat alone in a hotel room with nothing but pain and resentment.
“All of you saw me like I wanted to be seen, whether I want to admit that or not, it’s true. They did exactly what anyone would have done to me as soon as I stepped into my father’s shoes if I had stayed naive and believed that money and love were the same thing. If you think Katsuki could have done what he did in a lot better way, I agree, but if you think that I should have you all eternally in my debt like my father would have, then you still see me as the man I’ve been running from for a long time now. So. . whatever you’re apologizing for, thanks but that isn’t what I’m looking for.”
Kirishima had stopped crying midway through your life story, finding himself immersed in your point of view. It was absolutely flooring that you weren’t looking for revenge or even apology. Especially from Katsuki after hearing what he had told you all those years ago. He couldn’t help but wonder if you were the girl he knew that only wore name brand dresses and worried more about why her mother bought her ugly shoes than the world around her — the answer was both yes and no.
You were that girl, but now you weren’t mirroring someone else’s views.
His heartbeat picked up and he felt his cheeks grow red as he stared at you. It was wrong how his entire body seemed to steam up when you were sitting there in your lounge wear that wasn’t even close to you looking done-up. You were the mother of his best friend’s kid, it was so much more than just being off limits.
Kirishima turned away from you when you looked at him, and you chuckled. “Don’t start getting all sappy on me now. I may not want to bury Bakugou and Ashido like you guys think, but I still don’t trust their friendship, and certainly not a relationship with the blonde bombshell.”
Suddenly, Kirishima remembered why he came here in the first place, and the whole reason Mina had given him your address. He whipped his head to the television that had been playing the entire time in the background, to see the very thing that he was meant to prepare you for. You followed his gaze in confusion, but that quickly changed to dread when you saw that explosive blonde hair and red eyes looking back at you on your TV. . along with a picture of you and Ryu.
“They are my family, and there is no story for any of you. Where they are isn’t any of your concern, and because of recent events where their lives were threatened they will be relocating to a safe location. There isn’t any need to worry, because I’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt them.” Katsuki said, and immediately you could hear the press at the meeting talking and attempting to question him, but he walked off the stage with the same strict expression he had spoken with.
“Kirishima.”
“. . . You’re really pretty.”
“How pretty will I be with my hands around your neck?”
(A/N: Big thanks to @xwackk and @misssugarless for their help <3! I hope you guys enjoy, and I really can’t show how much I really appreciate all the kindness you guys show me on this book! ❤️❤️❤️)
Taglist <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @damnirina @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa @ladybeautiful18 @vintage-teddyxo @regalmigraine @samvmgh @iamagalaxy @officialtrashbusiness @xwackk @videogameboiwhowins @marajillana @ellasdilemma @plutoneu @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @thestarsanctuary @dewdropwifu @star-light-imagines @kritiiiii @bakugosbottombitch @the2ndl @candybabey @simply-not-the-same @sam-i-am-1025 @mes-bisous @eternallyvenus @peppytine @chaelysian @definitely-yours @oikawarc @suneaterofthebig3 @m0na-l0ver @nkb0048 @losertsukki
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azertyrobaz · 2 years
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Dank Farrik Drabble #35
First time I’m writing Cobb Vanth for this @dankfarrikdrabbles prompt, Oil/Contemplative, hopefully he sounds “right”!
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He saw them arrive from a long way away in that distinctive Naboo starfighter. Visitors in Freetown were rare, even if the recent battle in Mos Espa had seen an influx of support from the bigger town. Cobb wasn’t sure how he felt about that – he liked the anonymity of their isolated settlement. And he knew his people preferred that city folks left them alone. They wanted to remain free to do as they pleased.
It wasn’t all bad, obviously, and he’d be dead today if it wasn’t for the daimyo’s help, who turned out to be the rightful owner of his old armor. Guess he had to appreciate the irony of it all, somehow. Cobb stayed seated and observed them making their way towards his makeshift guard post – a table and a couple of chairs in front of his office. Not the most threatening setup perhaps, but he wouldn’t let himself be surprised a second time.
“Is that guilt I’m seeing on your face?” he asked, pretending he could see through that shiny helmet of his. The Mandalorian slowed his steps and Cobb shrugged. The man still couldn’t take a joke. Surely he should be pleased to learn that his funny bone was intact despite the Duros hunter’s attempt to crush it.
Cobb grabbed the oil canister from the table and went back to his task, letting him observe his new mechanical shoulder and arm in silence. He liked that about him – he didn’t ask unnecessary questions. And that helmet meant he wouldn’t have to read pity in his eyes, although he doubted it would be there. The Mandalorian didn’t strike him as that kind of person, despite his attempt to make a joke earlier.
“Those squeaky sounds are driving me mad,” he still felt like explaining, as he sat in front of him, that strange kid of his plonking himself down at his feet. “You got him back then, huh?” he remarked unnecessarily, and it was the Mandalorian’s turn to shrug.
“Hardly seems fair, you got your kid back but my old armor’s still with that other Mando.”
Cobb applied a couple of drops of oil in the mechanism, and the creaking stopped. Apart from that, it was working pretty well, and he could almost draw his blaster as fast as before. Almost.
“The armor belongs to him, it was his father’s.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get that,” he grumbled. “I’m not saying I want it back, but it sure as hell would have helped me on that day.”
“I doubt it, his armor doesn’t have beskar pauldrons like mine, the result would have been the same,” the Mandalorian said, sounding uncharacteristically smug. Did the man actually have a sense of humor, Cobb marveled?
“I would have probably died without that bacta tank, and he did pay for the surgery, so I guess we’re square, he and I. And he did offer me a job as well.”
“You’re gonna take it?” the Mandalorian asked, genuinely curious.
Cobb flexed his hand and admired the different gears and bolts doing their job. They all worked perfectly. And if it wasn’t for that damn sand he would even be spared those grating sounds. But the oil did its job, too. Everything had a purpose and everything was as it should be.
“I don’t know…” he replied, giving himself some time to find the right words. The tiny kid asked to be picked up by raising his arms and the other man grabbed him immediately, sitting him on his lap so that he could see what was happening.
“We do agree on many things and we’re both glad to see the syndicate and their spice gone, but these people rely on me, now more than ever.”
It had scared him at first to see how much his almost-dying had rattled the small town. But when he’d learned of their bravery, taking part in the battle of Mos Espa despite it all, that fear had turned into pride. And every time he started feeling a little sorry for himself or he got overwhelmed with his recovery, he remembered that they were counting on him to get better, and it helped immensely. He had their support, no matter what.
“Mos Pelgo, Freetown, however it’s called in the future: it’s my home, and someone has to make sure it’s still standing, and I don’t mind it being me,” he concluded, feeling more serene now that the words were out.
Looking at the other man, Cobb realized that he probably didn’t have one of those – a home. He could see it in the way he hugged that kid of his a little tighter. So maybe him getting the child back was fair enough. He still had his town. He still had his people. And the Mandalorian still had his son.
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marzipanandminutiae · 3 years
Note
Crimson Peak or Carmilla for the fandom ask.
How about I alternate?
send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…
the first character i ever fell in love with (Carmilla):
Carmilla. Sorry, my heart belongs to the vampire, always. I've loved her from the first time I read the novella on Project Gutenberg, and Natasha Negovanlis' interpretation only deepened that love.
a character that i used to love/like, but now do not (Crimson Peak):
There really aren't any characters who appear onscreen as living humans that I dislike. I guess I've thought more about Thomas' foibles than I did when I first saw the movie back in 2015? Mostly because I've thought more about all the characters since my fandom spiral, but I guess he had the farthest to fall, so to speak, in my regard.
I still love him. I just don't think of him as quite the same hapless innocent that I first saw.
a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not (Carmilla):
I've kind of gone from disinterest in H*llence (Laura/Danny) to active dislike. Though that's less because of the ship and more because of very bad experiences with some of the more...strident shippers.
my ultimate favorite character™ (Crimson Peak):
Honestly, I'm pretty fair and balanced in my love of the char- [trips and drops bag; dozens of photos of Lucille Sharpe spill out] shit shit no I'm just. I'm holding these for a friend; you don't understand
prettiest character (Carmilla):
Oh god. In a cast so full of eye candy, how does one even choose? They're all pretty in their own ways. You can't really compare, say, Laura to Mattie because their respective types of intense beauty are just so different.
Elle has the closest aesthetic to mine, though.
my most hated character (Crimson Peak):
The Parents Sharpe, both. Honestly, screw them. With Thomas and Lucille I'll talk until the cows come home about complex narratives and sympathetic villains and the fact that the movie isn't a morality tale and how half the Gothic thrill of it all is doomed love, love that dooms you, digging your own grave even with your attempts to clamber out, etc.
James and Beatrice don't even have the Sympathy Factor of good intentions paving their road to hell. And that's where I hope they somehow end up.
my OTP (Carmilla):
Hollstein (Laura/Carmilla). My Brand(TM) since 1871.
my NOTP (Crimson Peak):
Alan/Lucille. Seriously, ship what you like, but why is this even a Thing? They interact with each other like...three times, IF you count the deleted park scene. And one of those times ends in stabbing.
It just seems like Pair the Spares for people who want exclusive Edith/Thomas but don't hate Lucille. I guess I appreciate that it's kinder to my fave than, "Lucille is dead and Thomas spits on her grave as he and Edith waltz off into the sunset," which tends to be the other flavor of exclusive Edith/Thomas. But still.
favorite episode (Carmilla):
The movie. No, really, it's hard to decide among so many episodes of the show, but the movie really brings back the Gothic vibes. And we all know how into that I am.
The show is great, but give me sapphic bustle dress ballroom action, and I'll be the happiest Marzi in the land.
saddest death (Crimson Peak):
Thomas. Definitely Thomas.
God, that poor, spineless coward. It was too little, far too late, but he still finally worked up the nerve to Try. I can't help but be affected by his earnest desire for everyone to be happy; for both the women he loves to stay with him. It was never going to work, and that adds to the tragedy immensely.
And right at the end, how he tries to talk Lucille around when nobody else would. I couldn't even blame them- much as I love her, she's a terrible person, AND she's trying to kill his beloved wife. But he still sees something worth saving in her. Hell, after the first two stabs, he doesn't make any move to defend himself. He thinks she wouldn't ever mortally wound him; he trusts the one person who's always loved, protected, and supported him. He can't help loving her, right to the end.
The way she breaks down after the fatal blow, too, realizing what she's done and desperately wanting to take it back. She's always fixed things; she's always saved him. And now she can't. And it's her own fault.
All he can do is realize that, in the end, her rage and pain and fear overpowered than her love for him. All she can do is watch the only good and pure part of her life die, knowing she did that.
Excuse me; I've got some Gothic Tragedy in my eye.
favorite season (Carmilla):
S1. I think it was the best, the most self-contained, and the only one that avoided tripping just a little on the increasing complexity of the worldbuilding. Not that I don't love the whole show, mind- I just think the first season was the strongest.
If only it had had Mattie...
least favorite season (Crimson Peak):
Not applicable
character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate (Carmilla):
I can do without Kirsch. He's...fine, I guess? I usually just forget he's there, and I've seldom written him into any of my fics. I don't hate him, per se- that would require caring enough about him for hatred.
my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave (Crimson Peak):
My ultimate fave for this fandom IS a piece of trash. She's an on-fire dumpster full of Moltov cocktails. Just thoroughly awful.
I adore her.
my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave (Carmilla):
She would hate being characterized as a cinnamon roll, but I want good things for Danny. And really, to quote Eldena Doublecast, who wouldn't?
my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship (Crimson Peak):
This is kind of a redundant question for a Gothic romance movie with canon sibling incest, isn't it?
(The canon sibling incest, obviously. Though I don't really want to cleanse my soul about it- I don't feel at all guilty or gross for shipping it. It's Gothic romance. Messed-up relationships come with the territory. At least it's more or less consensual and there's no minor/adult stuff involved- that's better than a lot of Gothic romance gets.)
my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship (Carmilla):
LaFontaine/Perry. Cute! Doesn't really hold my interest, though.
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keilemlucent · 4 years
Text
the sex party: i
 (r18+)
shinsou hitoshi x reader
ao3
part 1 (you’re here!)   ||    part 2
word count: ~7.1k
You and Hitoshi definitely have a thing for each other, but who would've thought that a 'sex party' would produce a confession?
warnings: 
COLLEGE AU! characters are explicitly aged up to college students as early 20 year olds!
not really a sex party, mutual pining, friends to lovers, confessions, reader is canonically bi, brief momo x reader, light dom/sub, spanking, references to drug use, smoking (cigarettes, salem trademarked fic thing), drinking, and smut
there is a scene where there is attempted sexual assault. it is marked with ***** before and after. 
---------
this.... this piece is a monster. i’ve been wrestling with it for a month and now its here for y’all. the second part is already out ;^)) thank you to @keiqos for being an absolute king and beta reader this monster. enjoy y’all!!
||||||||||||||||| 
You never imagined that you would be where you were. It was under weird circumstances, but god if you weren’t going to try and enjoy it. 
The party you found yourself attending was lit with flashing lights and rainbow projections. There were two different DJs on various floors of the suburban mansion. They bumped out remixed club music, making the walls hum and thrum and bodies writhe and sweat. One of the kitchen counters was loaded with bottles and bottles of hard liquor and mixers. 
You were quickly making a third mixie. Just a vodka soda, boringly. There were certainly more fun options, but you weren’t exactly sure how to feel about this party just yet. You were having trouble discerning whether this was a ‘gin and tonic millennial’ party or a ‘jungle juice in an old cooler’ party. 
Denki and Jiro had convinced nearly two car-fulls of your friends to roll up. It sounded so fun, so wild!
  “Yo! Our friends from the EDM scene are throwing a SEX party! You all should come! It’s at a mansion across town!”
 Their ‘friends’ were two middle-aged, white hippies who did a lot of molly for their age. 
Nonetheless, you found yourself in a massive, odd house and managed to lose your friends fairly quickly (and accidentally). All the rooms stayed dimly lit and loud. You could hardly keep track of your own two feet. 
Someone pressed you into the counter, a hand grazing against your barely covered ass. 
You whipped around, watching as a couple walked away, one of them giving incredibly loud bedroom eyes.
Oh yeah, the ‘sex party’ part.
It wasn’t a kink party, or really a sex party at all. Sex was encouraged and provided for, but not necessary. The mansion’s massive attic was where most of the sex acts were happening with its five beds, three bondage rigs, a wall of toys of all types, condoms, lube, whippits, and even Viagra in decorative bowls. You had yet to venture up, but Denki had already spammed the group chat about it.
(It had been the first place he went upon arriving.)
You took your drink down the stairs (the place had three fucking basements) and turned into a small hallway that led outside.
It was cold, but your somewhat drunk body hardly minded. The sobering bite of wind gave a nice reprieve from the thrumming heat inside. 
You immediately spotted Hitoshi leaning on a retaining wall, half a cigarette hanging from his lips. His face lit up, when he saw you, waving you over.
 You smiled back at him, glad to find a friend and best of all Hitoshi. 
You two were quite close. 
In addition to both being sociology majors and having a lot of overlap when it came to classes, you’d known each other since freshman year and only grew closer with time. You’d spent many nights at his house off-campus, sipping cup after cup of black coffee in the midst of a paper writing and studying. You also definitely didn’t ever have close calls of affection though, no. 
No. 
Never.
You and Hitoshi were obviously just friends.
...
“Wild party, huh?” Hitoshi quirked an eyebrow, nodding to the house. He offered you a cigarette that you took greedily. 
You placed it between your lips, Hitoshi ever so casually leaning forward to light it with his signature clipper. He’d nabbed it off some ‘milf’ at the casino which he and Denki had gone to for bingo ‘for the meme’ freshmen year. 
You let out a puff, “Thank you! And yes, very wild. I’m on drink three and I still feel overwhelmed.”
Hitoshi sipped his own, nodding in agreement, “I know Jiro and Denki know some wild people from the scene, but this seems over the top.”
“It is kind of fun? But definitely an ‘I need to be a little more fucked up’ kind of fun,” You remarked.
You set down your cigarette on the cement wall, attempting to boost yourself up onto it. You nearly had it, except you really didn’t and slipped back down. You anxiously turned around, checking your dress over for any sort of tears. 
Hitoshi set down his own cigarette, standing in front of you. You looked up at him and felt very small and very horny all of a sudden. It certainly wasn’t an abnormal set of feelings, given how the two of you teased each other relentlessly. 
“Need some help there?” He chuckled at your struggle as you frowned up at him.
“If you insist.” You expected him to offer a hand to stabilize yourself on but no, Hitoshi’s big hands were suddenly grabbing at your waist, lifting you on the walls with little effort.
You swore you almost felt him squeeze you before letting go.
“You’re welcome,” Hitoshi just smirked as he returned to his spot, taking a deep drag to look at you through lowered lids.
You glared, but in good fun. 
At that moment, a few other of your friends poured from the door to the patio. They were all shouting, jarring and drunk, and very happy to see the two of you.
You unconsciously shifted a bit closer to Hitoshi on the wall, bare leg just barely touching his shoulder.
You didn’t notice it, but Hitoshi definitely leaned into you too. 
“(Y/N)! Hitoshi!” Momo addressed you firmly as Denki and Hanta snickered behind her. “You both are smarter than to smoke, aren’t you?”
“Nope,” You popped the word from your mouth to take another drag.
“We’re drunk, give it a rest,” Hitoshi waved his hand dismissively. You were both her friends, but she did have a pole up her ass sometimes. 
Almost to emphasize the point, Jiro withdrew her own pack and started offering to other people. 
As the ever-important smoking ritual continued, you couldn’t help but shiver from the now-painful gusts of wind. You abruptly hopped off of the wall, only wobbling a little on your heels as you hit the ground. Hitoshi moved to steady you, a firm hand on your shoulder.
(God, you wanted to melt into him.)
See, Hitoshi had been smart enough to wear a warm outfit. A pair of black jeans, a form-fitting, well-cut sweater, and a jacket which was slung over his arm. 
He offered it to you, eyebrow raised, “If you’re cold, you’re welcome to this. I’m gonna stash it when I get inside anyways.”
You shook your head, pushing back on his arm, feeling the hard muscle beneath. You almost shivered. “No, no it’s okay. I’m gonna head back in.”
“Mind if I tag along then?” Hitoshi asked, eyes scanning around you. He seemed well aware that there were some creeps at this party.
Most of the time, you wouldn’t feel great about needing some tall, beefy dude to casually stand around as a deterrent. But, honestly? You appreciated it immensely. 
“Right this way, smokestack,” You just had to give him shit, it was part of your cute dynamic right?
(It made the incessant flirting easier to hide.)
...
You couldn’t help but continually notice how Hitoshi had bulked up. He had been hitting the gym a lot and working on himself physically. 
God, did it show. 
His body had been a bit lanky and wiry before, but he’d filled out so well. With his cute sweater on, you could see how the fabric stretched tight around his biceps and his chest. You couldn’t look at his forearms in any setting or risk drooling all over yourself.
Not that you would mind drooling for Hitoshi, but you’d prefer it to be in a different context. 
(But, you’d never admit that.)
 The two of you wordlessly winded through the house, finding a somewhat less feral living room in one of the basements to relax in. Most everyone occupying the space was just mingling, save for a few couples making out. It seemed manageable. You settled for a spot on the carpet against a wall.
Hitoshi raised an eyebrow, “Really?”
“I feel way safer sitting on a floor than a couch here,” You couldn’t help smiling when you saw him snuff out his own amusement. 
You both watched as a couple was grinding and audibly moaning on one of the aforementioned couches. Hitoshi relented, “Point taken.”
He slid down the wall next to you, shoulder to shoulder, drinks in hand.
You both sat in silence for a minute, just taking the sounds and sights of the party. People-watching could have been an olympic sport at this shindig. 
“Hey,” Hitoshi broke the mild tension, tapping your upper thigh over your dress. “I’m not saying this to be a creep, really, I promise. But, I really like your dress.”
You turned your body slightly, towards him. Oh, now you needed to give him shit— “Oh, how complementary. Not creepy at all. Just my very sweet, male friend telling me how I look pretty in my party dress.”
Hitoshi leaned closer to you, mirroring you by lying half on his side. His breath and heat curled over your face and neck, “Oh, (Y/N), now you’re putting words in my mouth. I said that I like your dress. Because it’s one of Mei’s designs, right?”
You looked down, heat filling your cheeks. 
Fuck your drunk mouth.
“Though,” Oh, Hitoshi was closer. He had leaned to your ear, steadying a hand on your shoulder. “I do think you’re pretty in this dress. I’d use a different word instead of pretty though.”
“Like?” 
“Mmmm, gorgeous,” He hummed too casually. “As strong of a word as I can use without being a creep, right?”
“‘Toshi,” You groan, swatting his hand away. “You’re a bastard, you know that?”
He just beamed at you, “I’ve been told.”
Hitoshi drew back and met your eyes.
Once more, you mirrored each other. Both of you bore comically dilated pupils, wet lips, flushed faces and slight tremors in your hands.
“You know, I think I referred to you as ‘sweet’ too...” You raised an eyebrow at him. You couldn’t help the way your gaze flickered down to his lips. It flitted back up, “But, that’s nothing, right?”
Hitoshi bit his lip, taking a big breath. 
Suddenly, he was standing up. 
“Hey, wait—” You stammered, standing as well. “I’m sorry, that was a lot. I only meant to tease.”
“No, no, it’s okay,” Hitoshi put his hands in front of himself, creating distance between the two of you. “Same. You know I can’t help giving you trouble, (Y/N).”
Ouch.
You cracked a smile, rubbing your arms, “Of course, yeah. Silly friend shit.”
Hitoshi was quick to redirect, pointing a thumb out of the room, “I’ve gotta hang this somewhere. See you in a bit, or you can come with me if you like?”
“Nah, I’ll wander,” You patted his shoulder, waltzing off your churning gut by cutting in front of him. “Take it easy, smokestack.”
You couldn’t hear if he replied.
 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 You did, in fact, wander. With meandering feet, you moved through room after room. You poured yourself another drink, but it’s not nearly as strong. Your run-in with Hitoshi soured your mood. While not fully ruined, you were definitely feeling weirder than you wanted to be.
Hitoshi and you obviously had energy, yeah. But the most either of you had acted on it was ‘seemingly meaningless’ flirting. It was always followed up with a ‘no homo’ or ‘aha, got ‘ya!’, yet it always felt real in the moment. You weren’t a dumbass. You had caught Hitoshi eyeing you a few (read: many) different times. There were so many close calls and contacts between the two of you.
 There was one time while you were making a box of mac and cheese in Hitoshi’s kitchen circa 2 AM. You had borrowed one of his shirts and a pair of joggers to sleep in, a common act of yours. He walked past you for a glass of water, keeping the cup under the tap until it ran over just to look you up and down. 
His gaze wasn’t prying or predatory, not even close. You trusted Hitoshi with your life and you knew that he wouldn’t ever breach boundaries like that. Rather, he regarded you in a way that made him lose time, something soft and gooey in his eyes. That time, it wasn’t lustful attention. It just felt-
(Like the way lovers look at one and other, enamored.)
 Another time was during one of his performances. The house venue had been dimly lit and musty as fuck, but that didn’t distract Hitoshi. As Jiro’s vocals shook the basement, you met eyes with Hitoshi as he slammed on guitar. His gaze always returned to you throughout the whole set. When you had teased him about it, he claimed that looking at you helped keep his stage fright in check.
The reasoning didn’t calm the butterflies in your stomach. 
 There was another particularly telling occurrence where you had fallen asleep on Hitoshi’s floor in the middle of working on your final paper for your theory class the semester prior. He returned from his smoke break to find you curled up under the first piece of cloth you could find (which, in that case, was one of his hoodies). You weren’t fully asleep, and you certainly weren’t when Hitoshi hefted you into his arms, laying you so gently down on his bed and covering you with a throw blanket. 
Oh, god, the sweetness, like something you’d never known when you felt his hand on your face, smoothing over your cheekbones, your nose, and then your lips. His gentle voice, deep with the late-night, “You work too hard, you know.”
He nestled next on the floor next to the bed, leaving you to sleep undisturbed the rest of the night. 
There were, of course, many more instances of Hitoshi’s way-too-kind kindness, and a pile of your own moments as well. 
It was all damning, but relatively ignored. Your friendship was more important than any stupid feelings the two of you had right? You refused to acknowledge your own feelings beyond semi-sexual remarks, jabs, and jests. You couldn’t jeopardize your friendship, right?
...
 You eventually found yourself at the foot of the stairs that led to the attic. Even from the landing, you could hear various rhythmic slaps, moans, and laughter. 
You ascended the stairs and took in the sight greeting you.
There were various bondage rigs that were free-standing, all occupied at the moment you entered. Loops for ropes and chains to be tied to drilled into the ceiling. Flogs, whips, canes, and other implements hung heavy on one of the walls.
The room was lit dimly, yet nothing seemed obscured. A few rainbow lights illuminated the sweaty bodies about the room. Not everyone was having full-on sex. Most people were actually clothed. A lot of folks it seemed were just there spectating. 
Speaking of most people, your party peers were all lounging on the beds. Sans, Hitoshi, of course, standing and laughing with Kaminari. 
The lot saw you enter and flagged you down. You walked past a heavily-tattooed man getting pegged by a woman in a tutu and a crowd of costumed partygoers doing whippits which were being handed out by a man in an elaborate steampunk top hat. A cute girl with silver hair was strung up in a nearby rig, moaning as a leather-clad man fingerfucked her. 
You stood next to Hitoshi, bumping into his arm with your own, “Didn’t take you for a voyeur.” 
He snorted, joshing you back, “I have my moments.”
“I didn’t take you for a prude, (Y/N)!” Denki snickered, bringing attention to you. “You looked like you’d seen a ghost when you walked in here.”
“Denki, please,” You rolled your eyes. “I walked into a room made for very wild sex acts. That’s a very different expression than the one you’re describing.”
That made him snort and fall back onto the bed, along with Hanta and Mina. 
(How high were they? That wasn’t even a good joke.)
Hitoshi chuckled himself, something low and lumbering.
(Don’t think about how hot that is.)
“This makes me think back to that night, in sophomore year,” Hanta spoke as he sat up. “You know, kink night.”
“Oh, yeah! I forget about that,” Denki turned towards you and Hitoshi and raised his eyebrows.
You flushed.
Momo, innocently, asked, “Kink night?”
Hitoshi cleared his throat, looking anywhere but you.
“Oh yeah!” Mina piped up, hugging Momo’s shoulders from behind. Jiro was sitting in Momo’s lap, head on her tits. “We made a drinking game of exposing our weird sex acts and kinks to each other.”
You laughed uncomfortably at the memory, avoiding the very embarrassing and horny part that involved you, “That was the day that we found Mineta was into scat.”
“Oh wow,” Jiro gawked. “That was before Mineta got canceled?”
“Oh, yeah. He got wasted and ran off after that. Thank god.” Denki snickered. “You know what else happened that night?”
“Denki, please, stop talking.” It was Hitoshi placing a firm hand on the other’s shoulder. 
Denki just looked at the two of you like he was some old god of mischievous, turning back to the girls, “That’s when we all found out about Hitoshi and (Y/N)’s suuuuuuuuuper compatible kinks. Like, scary compatible.”
“They got sooooo awkward about it too!” Mina snickered, looking at your and Hitoshi with matchmaker in her eyes. 
You would kick her ass for it later. In that moment, you tried to keep a somewhat neutral expression as you recalled the night in question.
Sure, it was a year or two back and you and Hitoshi weren’t half as close back then. 
The lot of you had been sitting on the floor of Denki and Hitoshi’s dorm, passing around a bottle of cheap, flavored vodka in a fucked up, horny game of truth or dare.
...
  “You’re next (Y/N)!” Mina passed the bottle to you and fell back against the carpet. You swallowed thickly, swishing the content liquor inside. “Dare or sex act?”
The rules of the game were simple. Choosing ‘dare’ meant that someone else chose a sexually-charged dare for you and ‘sex act’ meant exposing either a kink or a sex act you’d done. It was a roulette either way, but one option gave you far more control than the other. 
After the last dare consisting of Denki giving a very messy lap dance to Eijiro, and you weren’t really in the mindset to repeat anything even close to that.
“Sex act,” You sighed in defeat.
Denki snickered in the corner, “Spill it!”
Hanta cheered you on as you bit your lip in thought.
The liquor swirling in your stomach was affecting your inhibitions, and with one shy, half-glance to Hitoshi, you spoke up. 
“I have a spanking kink, what of it.”
You drowned out Hitoshi’s red cheeks and the cheers of your friends with a deep chug from the bottle.
The bottle was passed to Hitoshi as you asked the question, “Dare or sex act?”
Jiro giggled from the bed, sipping at her own drink as well. 
“Sex act,” Hitoshi groaned, rolling his eyes at Denki, but you all knew he loved what was going on.
“Reveal yourself, Hitoshi! What gets your rocks off!?” Mina shouted drunkenly as she rolled on the floor. You made a mental note to cut her off from having any more of the trashy vodka.  
Hitoshi gave you a fleeting, but very horny look before regarding the group.
There was a twitch in your lip that made you think his smirk was all for you.
“I love pulling a cute girl over my lap and turning her ass purple while she’s begging for more.”
As everyone around you jeered and cheered, you gulped. 
And so did Hitoshi.
...
 “Yeah!” Hanta fell back. “That was so fucking funny. Like, all night it was all (Y/N) being like ‘I’m a filthy masochist!’ and Hitoshi being like ‘I’m a filthy sadist!’”
“Hanta, for the love of god,” You interrupted him, face burning with a fucked up mix of shame and lust. Hitoshi was mirroring you. “Why do you have to bring that up?”
“Oh, dude, because whenever we talk about it, you and Hitoshi get so embarrassed, it’s hilarious!” Hanta fucking giggled and reached for his drink. 
“Are we gonna talk about how you and Denki both like fisting—” You give them a taste of their own medicine, watching the two of them choke and gawk. To the side, Momo whispered to Jiro, eyeing you. 
Hitoshi barked out a laugh, losing some tension in his shoulders. You met his eye for a moment, only to see the jewelish purple taken up by his blackened pupils.
Fuck.
Momo spoke up, brow furrowed, “Can I request something a bit odd of you, (Y/N)? It’s perfectly okay if you say no.”
“Shoot,” You reply, sipping your beverage. 
Momo bit her lip, eyes going to Jiro, then you, “Can I try spanking you?”
Everyone collectively choked. You especially.
You took another nervous sip of your drink, avoiding eye contact with the group.
You regained composure, refusing to look at Hitoshi, but letting the fucked up idea brew and brew in your mind, “Uh, I mean, is Jiro okay with it?”
“Oh yeah, totally,” Jiro nodded, kissing her girlfriend’s jaw. “Pain isn't my thing, at all, and she’s always wanted to try it. And hey, if you’re a ‘filthy masochist’, be my guest.”
But, would you be her guest?
Your drunken mind considered.
It was the most acceptable setting for it to happen in public. You really did like getting spanked and were a raging masochist, so it would, at the very least, be fun for you. A little humiliating, but that was also a turn on. You’d also get to indulge Momo, who was dating Jiro, but they both seemed perfectly okay with a bit of platonic pain play, so what was the real harm? 
Your gaze flickered to Hitoshi.
Oh, fuck.
His face was lit up with a deep blush even in the irisian hues of the sex attic. His eyes were pointed distinctively opposite of you, a hand literally over his mouth as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Your mind lit up with ideas.
Terrible, sinful ideas that you would be the peak of you and Hitoshi’s teasing.
Fuck it.
“Sure, I’m down,” You smirked and Momo lit up. Immediately, she was up and scouting out the area for a spot to go to town. Momo even seemed to be eyeing up a wall of toys. 
“Hey,” Jiro whispered to you as you truly realized what you got yourself into. “Thanks for this. She’s really into this kind of stuff, and I like indulging her, but I can’t handle too much.”
“Oh, of course!” You spoke so brightly. “I have a high pain tolerance, so I’m sure I can take what she dishes out, too.”
You heard Hitoshi clear his throat behind you.
You let yourself take another glance at Hitoshi and it made you want to die on the spot. His eyes glared in anger with the sinful intensity that was entirely directed at you. You could tell by the awkward way he was leaning that he was trying to hide the bulge in his jeans.
Is... Is he that turned on by just the thought of me getting spanked?
Oh, this truly was your best teasing yet.
(Were you taking this too far?)
Kaminari was gripping the sleeve of Hitoshi’s sweater, not allowing him to leave. Judging by how the latter was looking and staring, he wasn’t going to either way.
Momo walked back over, tugging you by the hair to a bed that was a lot higher than the others. It was the perfect height for you to bend over.
“What’s your safeword?” She asked, running her hand down your back to push you against the comforter like she’d done this hundreds of times before. Your chest fell against the bed, forearms giving you a bit of leverage. 
You hummed, “Just ‘red’ should be good.”
“Perfect,” Momo smiled before pressing the back of your neck, forcing your face into the sheets. “I’m gonna give you ten with my hand, okay?”
“I trust you, Momo, do your worst,” You spoke so confidently, but truly you didn’t know what was coming.
Momo smoothed a hand over your ass, hardly covered due to the angle you were bent over. The pretty fabric of your dress, pulled over your curves, was hiding less and less. Momo hummed, running a firm hand down the zipper of the dress, “Do you have a preference as to if I pull your dress up or not?”
Oh, holy fuck. 
That was beyond teasing.
Fuck it.
“You can pull it up, but keep my panties on. I need some dignity,” You winked back at her. 
Momo blushed. She delicately pulled the fabric back, resulting in a round of wolf whistles from your friend. Sober you was going to hate the fact you did this, but drunk you? Thriving.
(Though you wished it was Hitoshi delivering, but you digress.)
Without warning, Momo brought her hand down on your ass, a loud smack resounding around the room, causing a slight hush.
Oh fuck. 
You were already drawing some attention.
Despite the pleasant haze of painful pleasure that was beginning to swirl in your mind and gut, you couldn’t help but notice the looks and stares. 
Particularly, you got a nasty feeling from the figure in the far corner eyeing you up from ass to toes. He looked fairly nondescript, but the aura he was giving off felt like poison. Something sticky and unpleasant formed in your gut when you looked at him. Your drunken mind chased it away by turning your head the other way. 
And then all you could see was Hitoshi’s gaze on you.
It was damn near feral.
His cheeks flushed and dewy. A bit of sweat was dripping down his temple, reflecting the party lighting like some sort of sick joke. One of his hands was raking through his violet locks. His teeth dug into his full lips as he stared you down. 
Your eyes met and you refused to look away.
So did he. 
Another hit, harder, made you bite your lip to suppress a cry.
Three more and you couldn’t help the bubbling sounds that were spilling from you. Soft cries and moans, maybe a whimper or two leaked from your bitten lips. Momo wasn’t holding back, and you were sure your ass would ache tomorrow.
Good.
Two more and tears leaked from your eyes. You were sure your friends were just waiting to give both you and Momo so much shit, but you couldn’t care less. All you could do was drink in the hungry way Hitoshi eyed you. 
It was definitely not the way people who were ‘just friends’ looked at each other. 
“Last two, make ‘em count!” Mina shouted from behind you with a cheer. Some of the others in the room were clamoring to watch.
Momo ran a soothing hand down your back, “You doing okay?”
“I’m peachy,” You push out, voice clearly tear-stricken. “Finish me off, Momo. Bruise me.”
That apparently set her off. Momo smacked your ass with such a force that your face pressed harshly into the bed, obscuring your view of Hitoshi. 
The last slap was, by far, the worst. Momo decided to tease you, torturing the raw skin of your ass. She would wind up only to pet your lower back or stroke the tops of your thighs. When she finally gave you the hit you deserved (for torturing Hitoshi and yourself), it sounded across the room just as loud as your sob that followed it. Tears leaked from your eyes as your breath came out in shudders. You loved the feeling of numbness and pain that emanated from your abused cheeks. You relished it.
You turned your head upright, vision blurry. Momo pulled your dress down, helping you sit up. 
You didn’t get much of a chance to catch your breath as Hitoshi dashed away and out of the sex room, very tense and very distressed judging by how Denki was shouting after him.
Oh fuck.
You kicked yourself mentally, cursing your stupid fucking hubris.
You took it too far.
He’s either turned on, uncomfortable as fuck, or both.
Probably both.
 You start to sit up, ignoring the sobering pain heating up your ass. Quickly, Momo pressed you back down to the bed. A solo cup of clear liquid was offered to you. 
“Aftercare, obligatory. Drink this, it’s just water,” Momo stated curtly, watching you down the water. You rubbed the tears from your eyes. 
“How’s my makeup?” You asked, ignoring the rising panic in your chest. 
Momo inspected you for a moment as the others came over, jeering. She quickly rubbed away smears of mascara, running a hand over the side of your face, “Do you feel okay?”
“Yeah, totally. Shit was fun,” You prayed you were disguising the turning of your gut well enough with your nonchalant tone. “I’m gonna find Hitoshi and make sure he has an extra pair of pants.”
Momo frowned, pressing you down and squeezing your shoulders, “Somehow, I don’t believe that. Please rest for a moment, (Y/N).”
You faltered, following Momo’s command without much thought. Your mind was still in a somewhat of a fog as you sipped at the water she gave you. Her hand rubbed at your shoulders and back, dropping praise every few moments. 
The rest of your peers filed over, cheering, flopping on the bed around you. 
“Holy fuck, (Y/N),” Hanta whistled, clapping your shoulder.
“That was so hot,” Denki sighed, red-faced and wide-eyed. 
Momo ran an affectionate hand through your hair as Jiro fell into her lap, winking at you, “She’s so good, right?”
“Yeah, holy fuck. If y’all ever need a third, you have my number.” You breathed, shaking out a laugh. “I think I need to find Hitoshi, though.”
 You stood up, wobbling for a moment, comically aware of sets of eyes on you as you dashed away. Your friends shouted encouragement from behind you as you descended the stairs.
Truthfully, your intent was to smooth things over and make the routine, ‘but we’re bros!’ comment. You knew that this wouldn’t be enough, considering how far you pushed it.
You fucked up.
Took it too far. 
What does Hitoshi even think of you now?
...
Your mind was sobering with the help of the water and pain. 
You had to find Hitoshi.
So, you quickly moved about the house.
You scanned room after room, checked the front and back yard, but couldn’t find him anywhere.
  Where the fuck was he?
 You passed by a room upstairs, door shut, and you swore you heard his voice inside.
The panic that had been brewing in you was spilling over. Your ass ached and walking hurt like hell with the bruises that were forming. All you wanted was a cigarette and to apologize to your best friend for taking things way too fucking far—
You swung the door open and was met with a scene that did not include Hitoshi Shinsou.
A mess of four very cute, very high girls, mostly but not entirely clothed, were writhing on the bed, all popping up to look at you. 
You flushed, body tensing as you tried to laugh it off, “Oh, wow, sorry about this! I thought my friend was in here. I’ll let you all get back to it.”
The girls hardly seemed perturbed by the sudden intrusion, rather they seemed quite complimentary. 
“Aw, you don’t wanna join?” One of the girls pouted, giving you puppy dog eyes. “You’re so pretty!”
“T-thank you,” You shook your head, “You are all very sweet, but I have to find my friend.”
“The one behind you?” A different girl asked. 
Your hazed mind hadn’t even picked up that was anyone behind you. 
You couldn’t help lighting up. Hitoshi had to be behind you, of course, this silly anxiety attack would come to an end—
You turned.
Your face fell.
***********
It was the creep from the sex room, grinning down at you. There was a nasty glint in his eye.
Your heart started going faster. Your gut soured with a feeling far off from drunkenness.
“Actually, uh, no, I’ll be going, thanks.” You tried to sidestep the man, but he quickly blocked the doorway, boxing you in.
“No, I think we’ll stay,” Oh, the man’s voice was sick in your ears. 
You were too shocked to move at first.
His reached for your shoulder, but you managed to stumble back from him. 
“No, hey, dude, don’t touch me,” You barked back, pass your growing fear. 
He scoffed, muttering something about you being a  ‘cheap whore’ and stalked you down. 
Your back hit a wall. You froze.
You felt trapped. 
His cheap cologne was choking you.
He was just inches away. 
You looked helplessly to the girls on the bed, but they had dissolved back into each other. Their hands were grabbing at each other's writhing bodies, clothes being torn away with light moans filling the air. They were far too fucked to be bothered with what was happening to you. The deafening music of the party drowned out your senses beyond the small room. 
You tried to slip away from him, out of the door, but his arm slammed beside you.
He caged you. 
His hand shot to grab your wrap, squeezing hard and shooting pain into your shoulder as you tried to rip yourself away. 
“Get the fuck away from me!” You snarled, trying to wrench out of his grip, away from him. You fell deeper into panic. 
You could feel his breath on your ear, and your heart dropped in your chest. With the thrum of the party, it felt far too loud for anyone to hear you. Even if you shouted for help, would anyone come? No one even knew that anything was wrong—
A voice cracked like a roll of thunder through the man’s actions and the drone of the party.
“Get the fuck off of them before I break your fucking fingers.” A familiar, blessed voice cut the air from behind you.
Thank fucking god.
Hitoshi stood in the doorway. 
You almost sobbed in relief.
His broad form took up most of the door frame, chest puffed out in his anger. His brow was lowered, mouth twisted in revulsion and fury, all directed at the man who had you caged. Only rage colored Hitoshi’s features. Until he caught your gaze, anyways. 
Then, it all dissolved to fear. 
“We’re busy, she’s fine, fuck off.” The guy said, digging his hand into your side. 
You kicked at his shoe, relishing the way he hissed in pain. 
The man glared at you, then looked to Hitoshi. The man scoffed, looking him up and down to assess whether putting up a fight was worth it.
Apparently not, as the man shoved you roughly towards Hitoshi.
*********
You tripped into the latter’s chest as he caught you easily. 
Without missing a beat, he steadied you and crushed you to him. One of his broad hands moved up to almost shield the side of your face. You were surprised to find that his body was shaking just as hard as your own. You both mirrored each other in rage and panic. 
You pressed your face into his sweater as tears remained dangerously close to falling from your eyes. Fear still tore through you and everything about Hitoshi made you feel a hell of a lot safer.
Hitoshi’s arm tightened as he continued his stare-down.
The man grumbled, exiting the room in a huff and harshly pushing back Hitoshi (and you). You flinched, wincing. A low, rumbling growl rumbled in Hitoshi’s chest as he stared death at the man. 
You knew that this was probably all too much. There were details of intimacy and boundaries that were being broken without thought from both of you and that was very bad, probably. 
But, you also were drunk on fear as opposed to vodka, and having someone safe to hold you felt better than any hit you could’ve found at the party. 
You surrendered to your very obvious reality. 
 When the man was gone, filtered back into the party, Hitoshi looked down at you, his mood entirely changing. 
His anger dissolved. His face softened as he tenderly (and quickly) assessed you. Concerned, but earnest eyes searched your face and body for visible signs of harm. When he was satisfied, Hitoshi linked your hands and pulled you from the room. 
He walked you through the party, quickly but gingerly. Your mind buzzed, still panicked and anxious, but the thought of cold air and a less stimulating environment was like aloe on a burn. 
Finally, you reached the front door, walking onto an empty front landing. 
You fell into Hitoshi. 
Your sweaty, shaking hands clung to the back of his sweater as you buried your face into his neck. The familiar scent of his woodsy cologne and natural sweat was more of a sedative than any drug you could find at the party and you fucking needed it.
Hitoshi wrapped his arms around you from the small of your back to your shoulders, squeezing as he buried his face in your hair. 
You stiffened but relaxed a moment later. You couldn’t keep pretending. You didn’t have it in you. 
You were surrounded by him and the cold air, and nothing felt more comforting. 
You decided to forget the semantics of your relationship for a little. 
(You hoped, prayed, that he would too).
Hitoshi suddenly tensed, “Is it okay that I’m touching you?”
You could only nod, voice weak and small in the back of your throat, “Y-yeah, it's cool. It’s been cool.” 
Hitoshi grounded you, turning the two of you so you were protected from any potential prying eyes. He moved you just right so that his cheek rested on top of your head. 
You allowed yourself to close your eyes and focus on the calming beat of Hitoshi’s heart. 
He soothed you by existing; he always did. But, in that moment, after such an uncomfortably close brush with something fucking disgusting, his presence was almost cleansing. It purged you of the incessant clawing in the back of your mind.
You’re safe. 
You pulled away just enough to look up at Hitoshi’s face. You felt him give you a squeeze which made the smallest, unlikely smile form on your lips. 
Slowly, like he was trying not to spook a wild animal, Hitoshi cupped the side of your face. The hold was firm, like it had power to it. You sank into his palm. 
(Fuck that feels nice—)
“How are you feeling?” Hitoshi asked softly, gaze warm and honey-like.
You laughed weakly, leaning into his palm, “Like shit. Holy fuck.”
The hand cradling your lower back stroked a thumb idly, “I can only imagine. What happened back there? That guy had been in the ‘sex room’ with us, right?”
“Uh, excuse you, ‘sex attic’, I think you mean?” You still managed to joke. “And yes. Must’ve been following me or something, fucking creep.”
“If you want, I’ll go back in there and kick the shit outta him. I’m sure the others will help. It’d be so worth getting him thrown out for,” Hitoshi snickered, turning his head towards the door as he did.  
As he turned back, his eyes widened as your fearful expression returned.
“P-please don’t leave,” You knew it was too much, right? Obviously. But, you didn’t care. 
You felt fairly certain Hitoshi didn’t either by that point. 
You pressed yourself back close to him and buried your face in the crook of his neck, clutching at his front. “Please don’t go.”
You weren’t sure if he’d return any affections (obviously earlier gestures were just to comfort you, right?). 
He did. Immediately, he squeezed as much of you as he could reach, nuzzling his face into the side of your head. 
“I’m not going anywhere, I’m right here.” Hitoshi reassured you with his voice as well as his touch. You shuddered, feeling his lips and breath so close. 
The two of you stayed like that for a while.
You retained your death grip on Hitoshi, contemplating it all. Perhaps it was the setting or the way your body was thrumming, but something was forcing you to come to terms with how you really felt about him.
You enjoyed teasing Hitoshi too much for it to just be platonic. You knew this.
You wondered how Hitoshi felt considering all of those heated looks and smirks he loved dishing out.
(An insecure thought or two crept about only being a fuck to him. You tried to repress it, though it certainly didn’t calm you.) 
 Despite these thoughts, you held Hitoshi with everything you had, fearing that whatever long-cultivated connection the two of you would slip away by the end of the night.
After a few minutes of slow silence, Hitoshi offered you a cigarette, which you took graciously. He leaned forward to light it, silently regarding you with warm eyes. 
You took a fat inhale, breathing out with shaky lungs. 
“I’m sorry.” You spoke abruptly. 
His eyes widened and he shook his head, gently grabbing your shoulders, “No, (Y/N), there is literally nothing for you to be sorry about.”
“No, there is. The thing with Momo,” You shook your head. “That was bad. I’m sorry, I was teasing you and I took it too far. Way too far.”
Hitoshi went still, averting his eyes and biting his lip. 
“I appreciate the apology,” Hitoshi's face erupted in red. “B-but, you don’t need to be sorry.”
He’s... embarrassed?
Oh.
(You truly were a dumbass, but god love ‘ya.)
You took another puff, nodding. 
Hitoshi pulled you to him again, this time wrapping an arm around your shoulders. His thumb rubbed idly at the bare skin of your arm as he whipped out his phone.
“What do you want to do?” The air was cold as Hitoshi spoke. It nipped at your skin and made you crinkle your nose.
With a moment's hesitation, you replied in a hoarse voice, “Can we go home?”
Hitoshi visibly softened for you, “Of course. I can call us an Uber. To your dorm...?” There’s a question in his voice that you both already knew the answer to.
You shook your head, “Your place?”
He nodded, “Of course, (Y/N).” 
You leaned into his shoulder, letting yourself relax. 
597 notes · View notes
anlian-aishang · 4 years
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Kinktober Day 7: Seven Minutes in Heaven
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Word count: 1700 Tags: smut, levi x reader, brief mentions of getting caught, fem!reader
While writing this, I listened to Why Wait by Shakira
Remember! Levi hates art theft.
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You opened the folded slip of paper: the one name you desperately wanted to see was also the one name you could not bear to read.
Hange spoke for you though, and you began to wonder if they knew the definition of “rude”. Shitty glasses snapped to your side, looked over your shoulder, and yelled to the small circle, “Hey, Levi~!”
The familiar heat of embarrassment spread like wildfire, all throughout you, from head to toe. Even more so when you heard nearing steps, felt the waft of approaching air, and saw his hand reach out to you. From underneath his bangs, he looked down to you in your still-seated, cross-legged form. He asked nothing, said no words, but still, you stammered.
Everyone predicted that when it eventually became his unlucky turn, he would duck out of the game. He never was much of a people pleaser, and there was nothing gluing him here. You never thought, especially with you on his other end, that he would actually participate. When you looked around the circle and saw everyone’s wide-eyed stares, you figured they felt the same.
You blinked twice and rubbed your eyes. He was still there, still reaching out to you. Even then, it took until you touched his hand to believe that this was real. With the strength of one arm, he pulled you off the floor and walked you to the closet, eyes of all burning onto your backs. Like a gentleman, he opened the door and let you in first, finally shutting you off from the rest of the world outside.
After the walk and in the closet, he still held your hand in his. When he took his seat, it brought you to the floor with him. You had not expected this scene to have ever happened in more than just your dreams. You were likewise shocked when he spoke up right away, “Now what?”
“I - I don’t know…”
With the drastic change in lighting - fully lit commons to pitch black broom closet, it was impossible to see each other and impossible to read expressions.
A few more seconds of silence. Time was ticking away. You gulped, “I mean… I guess the game says we should…”
“Tch… It’s just a game. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
That’s sweet, but - shit… While the courtesy was much-appreciated, you did not want him to think you were anything less than eager. You were not sure how to convey your immense desire without fumbling over yourself.
Thankfully, he spoke for you. “But if you want me to, I can make you cum.”
His abrupt words made you choke. Levi could make anything look easy. He worked hard and fast at everything he did, especially if he was passionate about it. Slaying titans, brawling humans, even cleaning a room… any and all tasks seemed effortless for him. If he displayed the slightest bit of drive, he would get it done. Sex was no exception. And given the way he was interacting with you now, you felt you were one of those things that he wanted to do and wanted to do right.
Still, even in the arms of humanity’s strongest, you could not help but wonder: Seven minutes to make me cum? It’s not possible… You nearly scoffed but bit your lip instead. If you wasted this moment, if you did not make the most of it, you could not imagine how hard you would kick yourself later. Seven minutes in heaven with Captain Levi, him asking permission to make you cum, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. The stars had aligned for you in a way they never had, may never again, align for anyone else.
Your voice was faint, quiet, terrified of others hearing, “You can try.”
What you meant as a kindness - that no matter the result, you would be pleased with an attempt - was mistaken for a dare. Levi narrowed his brows, glared in your eyes, and snickered, “Is that a challenge?”
He felt a run of chills course through your body. Voice caught in your correction, “N-No. I just-” But he did not let you finish, dry lips and wet tongue snapping to and working on your neck already, “hah-ahh!”
In a split second, his mouth had already played the sensitive area. He reached a hand to the side of your head, caressing your cheek, embracing your face, and sturdying himself. With a hold in your hair, Levi trailed his tongue up your neck, along your jawline, until reaching your lips. He pushed his tongue past quickly, which caught you by surprise. However, there was only so much time and there was a lot more to explore.
Maintaining the kiss at your lips and the hold in your hair, Levi used his free hand to undo each of your shirt’s buttons. His fingers were deliberate, yet slender, tantalizing in undressing you. As soon as you were free, he pulled your bra beneath your breast and began pinching your nipple, causing you to moan into his mouth, “Oh, Levi…”
In the “v” of his name, you inadvertently bit on his lip. On purpose or by accident, he did not care, only recognizing how good it made him feel. Levi snarled into your ear, “You like that don’t you?” A breathy chuckle, “You naughty little thing…”
A man of sweet revenge - if someone bit him, he was going to bite back no matter how cute the cadet. The slight tug of your lips as he left was nothing compared to the bite of your neck that followed. You twitched in his hold as you felt something drip down your clavicle, shoulder, chest. Blood? Saliva? Without any lighting, it was impossible to tell.
The dark of the closet was playing with all your senses. While only mere inches away from you, you could barely make out his figure. Movements were impossible to see coming, impossible to predict. Hand played with your tits. Fingers rubbed along your slit. Teeth and lip oscillated at your neck. Each and every motion startled you, taking your breath away. Each gasp of yours evidence: you were putty in his hands.
Left hand continued to tease your hardened buds as his right hand dropped down to your pants. The Scout Regiment’s slew of belts, he had undone them hundreds of times and it showed. Something about how quick he could make you undone, it did much for both of you. Fingers curled around your waistband and tugged down to your knees, giving him access to all he needed.
Levi ripped your panties off as if they were nothing and clutched them in his fist. In the dark, you could not see what he did with them next. As far as you were concerned, they were his to keep. Even better if he did. With all of your hips exposed, he rubbed your exterior up and down, each repetition faster and harder than the last. The friction was just right, and based on your reactions, he knew it too. Within seconds, fingers were coated in your arousal. As soon as he felt your slick on his skin, he pushed his pointer and middle finger in. His digits were no longer just coated. Now, completely drenched.
In the heat of the moment, the temperature of the closet rose as well. Your thighs felt sticky. Sweat coated his bangs. Rapid pants and deep sighs made the air hot between you, just another hurdle in his seven minute challenge. This, however, reassured him he was doing well in the task and well for timing.
Even more reassuring, shaky fingers reached over his shoulders and dug into his back. Your entire body clenched, seized by both the pleasure he was providing and the urge to keep quiet for others. However, in wake of the former, the latter was getting harder and harder to control. You spoke without thinking, “It feels… You feel…”
He leaned forward and whispered in your ear, “Tell me, sweetheart.”
“… so good, Levi!”
“Yeah?” Amusement outspoken, “You enjoying yourself?”
As he trailed the last word, he brought his rigid thumb to your clit. With his touch, it was made abundantly clear how overstimulated you had truly become. Nerves of swollen skin screamed, giving you the impulse to do the exact same out loud. You buried your face in his shoulder, still covered by the tan jacket. It was then, you realized, all of this time had been for you. A hardened erection in his pants, he had not even undressed himself, let alone touched himself, as he gave you his undivided attention for these seven minutes in heaven.
It was not the game. It was him and everything about him. The full attentiveness of humanity’s strongest, no one could handle it. You were no exception. “Levi! Levi! I’m - I’m…! You’re gonna make me…!”
His snicker in your ear sent shivers down your spine. The tingling, his whispering, the last bit of sensation you needed. “Cum for me, princess.”
Following Captain’s orders, you did as you were told as he had made you. Toes curled. Legs shook. Torso heaved. Arms weak. The orgasm he gave demanded all of you, just as providing it had demanded all of him. Efforts paid off triple-fold. You figured you reaped all the benefits, but hearing you experience such euphoria, he knew it was just as good for him as it was for you.
As you came down, you melted into his arms, where he safely and steadily held your trembling body. He pet the back of your hair and embraced you with his whole being. Never in your life would you doubt his abilities again.
5 pounds on the door - seemingly all too soon - made you jump in his arms, “Hey, you two!” A handful more. “Your time is up!”
His response was like him: rude, terse, short. In lieu of a verbal response, Levi used one hand to wedge a broom between the handle and the wall: an improvised lock. With how swiftly he moved, how perfectly it fit, how foolproof it was, you had a passing thought: Just how spontaneous was this?
Incessant knocking, but he freed you from the liability of an answer. Levi placed his hand over your mouth, silencing your recovering breaths. He pressed his front to yours and whispered in your ear. Time may be up but, “I’m not done with you yet.”
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Kinktober Year 1 Masterlist
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255 notes · View notes
twisted-imagines · 4 years
Note
Hello! I know someone has done a similar request to this on another blog but I was curious on your interpretation: how do you think the Leech brothers and Azul would react to having a crush or a SO that REALLY likes seafood, maybe even a particular fondness to eel or octopus dishes? (My personal favorite is squid n salmon 🐙🐟) Feel free to do whatever format you think would work best for this request!
I personally don't eat seafood much so it may be inaccurate, but I had fun with this one~ Scenario part is about eating their animal counterpart🤭 My attempt at comedy. Why did it turn to horror with Floyd though?
Maybe someday I will stop to just randomly go MIA. Maybe.
Octavinelle and a s/o who loves seafood
Jade Leech 🐬
"I promised you the sight, here it is, [Y/n]."
You pant heavily, supporting yourself with hands on your knees, for a minute all you can think about is calming down your breath, but a burning pain in your throat severely hinders your attempts to. Somehow a guy who was born in the sea and never left it before a few years ago can climb higher and faster than you, and you've lived your whole life with your legs. You feel like your skull is squeezing down on you, putting an immense pressure on your brain.
"My my, someone really needs to exercise more. How about joining the Mountain Appreciation Club, [Y/n]? We could do mountaineering more often and build up your stamina?"
You are about to tell him that he'd better kill you now than make you suffer another climb, but once you lift up your head up words die in your throat. Jade sure kept his promise, the sight before you is majestic.
He told you there is a lake somewhere behind that hill and that flora and fauna there is diverse and rich, but what he didn't mention is just how beautiful it is. Untouched, lush greenery, flowers of all colors of rainbow scattered across all the glade that sway to the wind, strive to reach the sun. The horizon is just a straight green line, with mighty trees towering over a pristine blue lake in the middle of this small haven. You can't look at the water for too long, bright sun rays it reflects blind you immediately.
You notice that your head no longer hurts and you can freely breathe in the fresh air, clear of foul smells that people bring when they flock together. But here it's just you, Jade and wild inhabitants of this sanctuary.
"It's beautiful."
"I expected you to enjoy this place. I'm glad my prediction was right. Feel free to explore it, I've made sure that there're no creatures that might hurt you. Before the sun starts to set, enjoy yourself."
You leave your gear and backpack behind and stride forward, having half a mind to take off your shoes and feel for yourself spangled with dew, glistening under the sun bright green grass. You briefly turn to Jade who is still standing behind, seemingly not turned his gaze away from you. He sends a small smile your ways and nods his head encouragingly as if knowing what thought visited your head. You are positive you've never felt so close to nature and to Jade too.
You can't possibly notice, you're already way ahead, touching the water with your leg, retreating when you realize it's too cold for you, keep trying anyway, but the smile does not leave Jade's lips, it grows wider the more he observes you. He can't tell you yet, but the feelings he harbors for you make his heart sing, they are not like anything he's felt before. Oh, how he wishes he could go out with you like this, spend time together without any care in the world, see you smile and look only at him. But things like confessions and relationships need careful planning, he can't possibly let himself be sloppy when it comes to you. Jade is patient, he can wait until that time comes.
"[Y/n], there are lots of different plants and fungi, unique to this area. I go search for them, can I leave setting a camp to you?"
"No problem, go do what you need to do, Mushroom Boy.”
He can't even be mad at you, what a lucky human.
When a noise of someone's footsteps adds to the singing of birds, with cicadas whining and creaking of a bonfire near you mixed in, you know that's it's your companion who's finally returned. Although you stay focused on your task, heat from the fire makes it tempting to turn away,but you just raise your voice to greet him.
"Took you long enough, Jade! I've had time to set camp and to fish! Look, I caught all of these myself!"
Jade approaches you from behind, ready to apologize for his absence, but before he can the sight in his peripheral vision takes away his speech. The fish you have caught and skewered to put above the fire is certainly not what he expected to see. Not what he has ever wanted to see you do.
"[Y/n], I humbly request you to put this poor thing aside or go eat it somewhere a few meters away from me or I might not forgive you for slaying technically one of my kind."
You force yourself to stay in place before you can possibly turn and face himself. You're not ready to look death in the eyes. And the day was just starting to look great, how miserable.
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• If his brother at least has a bigger pet peeve than cooked eels, Jade hates seeing eels being prepared as food the most. Like always, you can't tell from looking at his face, but he's furious on the inside. He can't police what you eat and it's not like few humans consume eels. Still, he doesn't want his s/o eating his animal equivalent, even though it can't possibly have the same self-awareness or intelligence that he possesses as a merman. If you insist and don't try to at least hide it from him, expect some petty Jade in the days following. You don't want to comply and listen to his wishes? Then neither does he, he will find a way to annoy you while staying as classy as ever.
• But when it does not concern eels or their distant relatives Jade is all about you exploring sea cuisine, he himself will never miss a chance to partake in some seafood as well. He smirks when he learns that you also share a common love for octopuses. You understand, right? Not only they are tasty-looking while alive, but cooked and seasoned they're just the best. Cue a distressed Azul hiding from both of you in his VIP room.
• When Monstro Lounge was still new Azul really needed someone both skilled and trusted on the kitchen, Jade became both. He will gladly cook something for you and his cooking is amazing. His dishes and how they taste is everything you've ever wanted from your dinner. Can he also cook for you in the morning and in the evening? Jade says that he should have a very important reason to stay with you for the whole day and to live with you... If your fixation with seafood, sea creatures, and the way he prepares them makes you think about becoming more serious about your relationships, particularly starting them or bringing them to a new stage if you two are not quite there yet, Jade won't mind. He always reminds you he's there for you whenever you may need him.
• If Monstro Lounge menu is to undergo a change you're one of the first to taste any new seasonal dish, made by either of brothers, however, Jade usually prefers to take care of you himself, no matter if you're at the cafe as his friend, quote-unquote crush, of just as a customer. If he has to appeal to your taste buds first for you to consider him a suitable mate Jade will try his best for sure.
Floyd Leech🦈
"Thank you, Rook, I really appreciate it!"
"Don't mention it, Trickster! My humble persona is always ready to help you and hunting just happens to be my specialty. Until later!"
Capricious male from Pomefiore runs away faster than you can question whether fishing and hunting are the same, but at least he helped you out. Your boyfriend doesn't get along with him at all, but to your thought Rook is not a bad man. Or maybe you just have a thing for flamboyant people.
You reminisce about how you recently commented on the college's cafeteria lack of fish dishes you loved so much, only for the male to overhear it and offer you a whole basket of different sea dwellers today. You aren't sure if some of them can be even found in locations of NRC or near it, not to mention actually having it be caught and delivered to you. And for a small price of "remembering his good deed". Shady deals are pretty much a part of your life at this point, but you are sure this particular one won't sit right with Floyd. Well, not like he should know about it anyway.
You get to the task at hand, it is preparing all the goodies that you got. Clams and oysters, crabs and lobsters, mackerel, salmon, squids, and several other creatures, some that you don't recognize at all. You know you will be having a blast both preparing all of this and then eating! Your evening promises to be amazing.
"Oh, it smells so good! [Y/n], is there any tuna? Say there is!"
"I believe I see some! We're having a feast today, Grim!"
With an excited mewl following you to the kitchen you place the basket on the countertop with a small thud. It's cold to touch and permits no smell that fish usually gives off. You're as unfamiliar with magic as one can get in this world and Rook knows about it just as well as the next Heartslabyul student. Pretty considerate of him to cast some cooling spell on it. But you will be doing everything with your own hands from this point, just like you always do. Apron in place, sleeves of your shirt rolled up. When fleeting Ramshackle dorm somebody left the knives too, you take the one that you sharpened prior. Time to get started!
"[Y/n]! It's the best! My lovely, tasty tuna! Let's dig in!"
Salmon's pale orange meat easily pierced by a fork, an alluring aroma of spices surrounds you, you place it in your mouth and it basically melts there, leaving a unique aftertaste. You've missed it. You are no chef, but your skills are enough to cook the dishes you've eaten countless times already. It's due to thank Rook for the amazing evening. Nothing can make it better at this point.
"Shrimpy, I'm home! Did you miss me? I missed you~ What a tasty smell-"
Faster than you can take another bite, Floyd bursts into the dorm, making a beeline straight to the kitchen, lead by the scent of your cooking. You've forgotten, haven't you? Elated about the perspective of finally partaking into your favorite dishes once again after the long while, you forgot about inviting your boyfriend altogether. Caught red-handed; or more like open-mouthed. Floyd stops right before the dining table, watches intently first your dinner, then you. You slowly put the food back on the plate, your nervous chuckle fills the awkward pause, before your unexpected guest stars to talk again.
"Whatcha doing here Shrimpy? Eating? Why not come to Monstro Lounge? Why not welcome me?"
Hit with the string of questions, put under the pressure by the deadpan gaze he is giving you while still upholding that carefree smile of his, you hurry to the cupboard to bring Floyd a plate. The male has already leisurely taken his place behind the table. Back turned to him, you don't feel like you can be rescued from this situation, or at least pardoned from giving him some sort of answer. You know pretty well how badly Floyd handles separation and boredom, since entering these relationships you've become his first and most welcome relief from both of those feelings. Being excluded from your life is rather upsetting for him.
By the time you sit back the grey cat, your only other companion in the dorm is nowhere to be seen.
"I was just about to call you. It's been a long time I have eaten any of these, got a little carried away. Sadly, Monstro Lounge has little of things I like, and I already tasted everything I could."
Listening to your rambling with a placid smile, Floyd hasn't said a thing, only hummed twice, commenting on how he is usually the one preparing you all the dishes at the cafe and now it is his turn to taste your cooking. You hope that the sigh you let out is not visible, the stress instilled by the awkwardness of the situation you got into is slowly draining from your body, making your movements lighter, calmer. A hard contrast to Floyd, who seemingly didn't move one inch in his seat, continuing to observe you.
"And where did you even get all of these tasty creatures from, Shrimpy?"
You hurriedly bring some piece of meat from the variety of dishes you prepared to your mouth to and bite into it, your words muffled and hurried. You did nothing wrong so why does it feel like an interrogation?
"O-oh, my friends gave me this basket, I'm very grateful to them-"
You don't manage to finish your sentence.
"Ah, Shrimpy~ Lying to me, not welcoming me to dinner and now eating one of my kind...
You really want to get at me for something, don't you?"
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• Perceives you eating eel dishes as a personal attack, Floyd will make you stop at any cost if he sees you eating one. He's peeved at the sight and starts to think back to things he could have done to you that made you angry with him, or reasons for you to trying to start a fight, you're basically eating him! He doesn't fear a Shrimp like you, but the sight is unnerving him.
• But Floyd does share your fondness for seafood, it's the only food he has eaten for most of his life after all! Monstro Lounge has a wide variety of fish dishes and he will gladly prepare anything to you as long as it's in their stock. And he's a pretty great cook too! And utterly the worst to eat with, he'll annoy you so by taking away your utensils and feeding you himself until you'll eventually either lose a nerve or burst from embarrassment. While Floyd generally loves eating what you prepare, he especially looks forward to you cooking sea creatures, not only for the taste but also to see how a land dweller usually eats them, what kind of recipes you have.
• Will cook some squid or octopus at Monstro Lounge, just before the closing, a time during Azul always goes out of the VIP room to supervise the cafe, and then share it with you, praising the taste and smell all the while, looking at his friend straight into the eyes, searching for a reaction. Encourages you to do so too. It will not end without furious Azul chastising laughing Floyd, and depending on if you like to join your boyfriend in his pranks, then you too.
• If you did something to upset him, but not enough for him to argue with you, expect to see Floyd order a handful of shrimps and eat them in a simultaneously gross and intimidating way. Does he want to threaten you? You don't know if you should be scared that he's eating "you", angry that he wastes food instead of talking with you or amused by his childishness.
• If you happen to be somewhere near the lake or sea, where there are sure lots of fish, Floyd will hunt some for you. Two birds with one stone: he gets to see you happy and hear you thank and praise him, and he can spend some time in the water, trading human legs for his dear tail and fins. Fishermen hate him, he catches what he needs, but all other fish swims away, scared.
Azul Ashengrotto🐙
"It sure is busy during this time of the year."
You have to grab your boyfriend's hand tighter, afraid to lose him in the raucous crowd that is so hell-bent on pushing you from side to side. Merchants touting passers-by to look at their stands, food stalls and crowds that get drawn to them, why would you want to get a picture with this monkey, no, children happy to ditch their parents and go run amok and you don't want to get started on the unbearable heat, today is unusually hot. Most of your vacation with Azul has been calm and relaxed, you greatly enjoyed yourself, resting under the shadows, once or twice nearly lulled into sleep by the tranquil sound of waves hitting the shore. The most action you got was when you showed off your new swimwear to Azul and when you had to catch the sandal that almost got taken by the sea, so this commotion is tiring you exceedingly fast. The only upside is that Azul is still by your side, his company definitely the best part of this small getaway you have.
"It is, yes... But it is to be expected, especially from the main street. Wavecrest Neptunalia is one of the few holidays that merfolk and humans share and come together to celebrate, each on their own land. It's a festival dedicated to praising the sea so there bound to be a lot of "sea gifts" for you to eat too."
He goes on a little rant about the origin, customs, traditions, and so on. You only know just how stunning he looks. You get little chance in the college to see him wear less fabric or express himself so freely, you don't even have that much time to be with him at all, damned be responsibilities of dorm leaders, extra curriculum and other crap. Doesn't Azul not handle hot weather well himself? He's a bit red in the face, and a few loose silver strands have stuck to his forehead, but otherwise, he seems very upbeat. You like that look on him.
When he expectantly turns in your direction you do not show you've been preoccupied with looking at him, rather than listening, although some parts did get through to you.
"You sure did your homework, Azul."
"I always do my homework- Ah... Yes, it's our first trip and you would have no way knowing about it, I wanted to give you the insight."
Isn't he the most adorable and loving man in the whole Twisted Wonderland? To you he is. He may have his own hang-ups, but you love him whole, you can't not to. You smile warmly at him and squeeze his hand, he may overheat if you try to do more while in public, you can deduce as much from the way his face reddens profusely at such small gestures.
"I appreciate it, thank you."
To turn back your head to the street, just in time to notice the sign of some rather intriguing looking restaurant. Perfect, you get to hide from both people and less than nice weather and also eat!
"Well then, you mentioned "sea gifts" - I want to try them, let's find someplace to eat! This one looks interesting."
The interior is styled with a lot of sea motives, the main attraction, a huge barracuda skeleton, hanging from the ceiling. You notice Azul looking around, in the end being pretty unimpressed, humans design and decoration abilities did not meet his expectations. Despite that both you and he find yourself shocked by the diversity the menu is offering. You make a mental note to make sure you walk out of this place on your two, and not rolled out by Azul in a form of a happy, big ball.
"Dear, you know what to order, I must excuse myself. Don't get bored."
He sends you a smirk, before disappearing into the general direction of the restroom. But look at this menu, they even have a separate page for every creature, crazy...
By the time Azul returned you have already made an order, waiting time passes unnoticed, you're too engrossed into your chat, discussing with Azul nothing in particular, you believe you could enjoy being silent with him. You don't mind it when your boyfriend goes quiet when your first dish is served to you.
"Octopus carpaccio, huh, [Y/n]."
You look shocked, like a guilty puppy. Only a sigh follows suit from him. He did forget octopus was nearly the first in the list of your most favorite seafood. You sure do love his kind, no matter the form they come in, he's the prime example. Azul catches himself on the thought that all people dear to him are either octopuses or love to eat them, no in-between. He wonders whether there's some kind of odd curse cast upon him. His businessman smile takes place on his face.
"How about a deal? You won't notice me eating this fried chicken later and I'll pretend this one never happened too?"
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• Azul is unfortunately used to be the butt of jokes about eating his animal form, all credits to Leech twins, he's also well aware of how popular octopus dishes are in general among people, mer or not. He's rather chill with you liking to eat something made of his animal counterpart, but no matter how distanced he feels from his merman form he gets nervous at the sight of you eating those dishes, of anyone really eating them before him, and he gets more agitated if you taunt him with it. His hands are full with two eels, he doesn't need you teasing him too, no matter how lighthearted it is.
• Is it deep-fried? Yes? Then Azul loves it. No? He won't see the allure, even if you try to convince him otherwise. He eats his vegetables, but not without a feeling of disgust, he would rather have something less "grass-like", so he understands when you express how much you love seafood, and he's happy as long as it's healthy for you. For that reason he will either feed you at Monstro Lounge or in a really trustworthy place, goes in hand with his little quirk of going out with you to different restaurants and cafes.
• Please, don't tell him that his merman form looks tasty, he will get scared, it's not a joke. If he finds a pot to hide inside first you'll have to persuade him to leave it and then make it up by paying him countless compliments, apologizing is a must too. No, you can't take a bite! Maybe from his human body, but not this one. You don't like human flesh? Oh, mighty sea, help him.
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ibijau · 3 years
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I saw a post about, not sure where god!lxc fic goes next? I assume nhs insists on going back to the cave to make a proper offering. Lxc accompanies b/c nhs is still a little sick and nmj is busy. Nhs continues panicking about this uber-powerful god. Lxc enjoys the offering, it's nice, but not the panicking, and hey he committed to being honest? so he tells nhs he's the god. This does not have the calming effect he was hoping for --the anon who got super excited about god!lxc can't read sideplot
ok so, didn’t quite use all of that, but big thanks anon for giving me a way to at least write a little more on that AU which is very dear to me
Price of Wishes on AO3 (can’t remember my tumblr tag for it... orz)
Lan Xichen stares at the altar.
It is a small one, hurriedly installed among others inside the Unclean Realm. Its only decoration is a bolt of pale embroidered fabric from which Nie Huaisang apparently once wanted to have a robe made, and a portrait of Lan Xichen that Nie Huaisang personally painted, as promised in the temple. It doesn’t look like Lan Xichen does in this mortal form, and it probably doesn’t look the way he once did as a god, but the main attributes of his last remaining statue are there.
How long has it been since he was granted a new altar? Not since before this Nie sect even came to be, he thinks.
And now not only was he given this altar, but there are offerings on it. Nie Huaisang put incense to burn and offered flowers and rice, yes, but surprisingly others did the same, and thanked Lan Xichen for keeping their young master safe when he ran away. Even the stern Nie Mingjue, who clearly didn’t share his brother’s certainty about a godly intervention, still lit up some incense and bowed before the altar, simply because he realised how much it mattered to Nie Huaisang.
It had been a flight of fancy to help that boy and get him into the temple, just a sudden impulse to feel like a real god again, but Lan Xichen finds himself more than rewarded for this kindness. If he can keep this up, if they continue honouring him, he might well survive a century more.
Lan Xichen had forgotten what hope feels like.
But hope or not, Lan Xichen knows to whom he owes this. As days pass, he sticks close to Nie Huaisang, who is currently his strongest believer. Even the old lady, dear to Lan Xichen as she is, never had such unwavering faith in his power. She prays to him mostly out of habit, while Nie Huaisang does so out of conviction. Being near him feels like stepping into the sun after an eternity in darkness, and Lan Xichen cannot get enough of the sensation.
Besides, if they are to be married, he needs to know more about the young man whose life he will share.
Nie Huaisang is an interesting person, Lan Xichen thinks. He acts a little spoiled, but of course he is young, and Lan Xichen vaguely understands that the Nie family has gone through rough times in the recent past, and Nie Huaisang’s childishness might be how he dealt with it. At his core, Nie Huaisang is more serious than he lets on. For example, he is determined to fully repay the debt he contracted toward Lan Xichen. The altar he set up is but a first step. In spite of his brother’s warnings, Nie Huaisang has inquired what it would cost to have a safe road to the mountain temple, just as he promised to do. In fact, he goes beyond his promise, determined to find every possible detail about Lan Xichen so that he may be worshipped properly. To that end, he spends day after day in Qinghe Nie’s immensely rich library, reading through books with a speed which astonishes Lan Xichen, writing letters to make inquiries as if it is the easiest thing in the world.
Lan Xichen thinks Nie Huaisang might just be the cleverest person he has ever met, and the most stubborn as well. Both are qualities he appreciates in a follower, and in a person.
It’s quite funny to Lan Xichen to realise that Nie Huaisang is considered lazy. Perhaps he only puts efforts into things that interest him. Lan Xichen, of course, is glad to be one of those things.
In general, he’s just glad to be around Nie Huaisang. The steady warmth of belief is quite nice, of course, but that’s not the only reason. Nie Huaisang, although he apparently realises to some degree that Lan Xichen shouldn’t exist as a mortal, still tries hard to be kind to him. He gives him delicious foods, and tries to find subtle ways to look for gaps in Lan Xichen’s knowledge of the mortal world so he can fill him in and help him fit in better. He is a pleasant person to talk to, a pleasant person to silently spend time with, a pleasant person to look at even, his youthful face showing every sign that he will develop into a handsome man someday.
In just this little time, Lan Xichen finds himself quite fond of this little mortal. It won’t be unpleasant to marry him as agreed.
First, though, Nie Huaisang must mature. And part of that means heading out toward the Cloud Recesses, where Lan Xichen himself is supposed to come from, according to the narrative Nie Huaisang demanded in his prayer. It is a stressful perspective, since Lan Xichen isn’t sure he is quite strong enough to shift reality around people who have much stronger reasons to refuse his intrusion into their life, but he will try his best. It is the deal he made with Nie Huaisang, and he will see it through.
To Lan Xichen’s relief, just before they are set to head south toward Gusu, Nie Huaisang begs his brother for a full ceremony at the mountain temple, with incense and prayers and everything that can be done to honour Lan Xichen. Nie Mingjue grumbles and complains and even gets angry, but he eventually gives in, as seems to be common for him when his brother makes a request. Nie Mingjue is a wise man, and he apparently understands that little can be done when Nie Huaisang is in a mood to be stubborn about something.
So the three of them head out into the mountain, followed by a few Nie disciples who carry food offerings and some tools to clean the temple.
The temple’s floors are swiped clean. Rubbles are removed. The nearly faceless statue has its layers of dust carefully cleaned away by Nie Huaisang who climbed on its pedestal so he can reach every part, revealing details that Lan Xichen himself had forgotten. There are even some traces of colour here and there.
“I’ll have to make another portrait,” Nie Huaisang notes. “Mine isn’t accurate at all after all.”
“I’m sure this god is already more than happy with what you have given him,” Lan Xichen says, lifting his gaze from the altar he’s wiping clean. It is a struggle to keep himself from crying from joy, and his voice comes out a little strangled, but Nie Huaisang doesn’t appear to notice.
“I need to do better,” Nie Huaisang says with a shiver. “I cannot risk offending him.”
He sounds almost afraid, and his hands tremble slightly as he carefully dusts the statue. Lan Xichen stares at him a moment more, and sighs.
However pleasant everything else has been, this is one thing that doesn’t sit right with him. For whatever reason, Nie Huaisang seems to be afraid of his god self, and it taints his every prayer. This doesn’t change the value of those prayers, it doesn’t make his belief any less strong and valuable, but Lan Xichen can feel that fear almost constantly and he doesn’t enjoy it. He is too used to the old lady’s belief, simple and companionable. She treats him like an old friend to whom she can make requests, and he wishes Nie Huaisang would do the same. They are set to be married, it is the deal, and Lan Xichen doesn’t like the idea of a union set in fear. 
“I am sure that god would not be offended,” Lan Xichen quietly insists. “You haven’t found anything about him in all your books and your letters, have you? So he must not be a very important god, and your efforts are sure to have been noticed and appreciated.”
“But it’s not enough,” Nie Huaisang retorts, gritting his teeth. “It can’t be enough. Nothing I do is ever enough, there’s got to be more I could do!”
Lan Xichen frowns, and looks around until his eyes land on Nie Mingjue. He heard this, and is staring at his brother with some concern.
From what Lan Xichen understands, the reason Nie Huaisang took refuge in his temple a few weeks ago was because of a great argument with Nie Mingjue regarding his capacity to do… nearly anything, really. Nie Mingjue, taking Lan Xichen as the confident Nie Huaisang asked that he be, admitted to him one day that he is terribly worried for his brother’s future. There might be a war, he said, and Nie Mingjue could die in it and leave Nie Huaisang alone to lead their sect before his time. Nie Mingjue confessed he is terrified that the elders of their clan won’t respect Nie Huaisang because his mother was of lesser birth, that some of their cousins will attempt to rob him of his birthright, that even if he becomes sect leader he will not be respected and some people will try to take advantage of his inexperience. So Nie Mingjue pushes his brother as hard as he can, demanding more efforts, more results, but it is all in vain because Nie Huaisang has stubbornly decided he isn’t good at anything that matters, and refuses to try anymore.
It was a terrible argument they had that day, Nie Mingjue said. And then, proving all his fears right, Nie Huaisang nearly died after running away and catching a fever, showing to all his future enemies how vulnerable a target he would be without Nie Mingjue to protect him. At the same time, that Nie Huaisang was ready to run away showed that he took it to heart every time he was scolded for not doing more, and now Nie Mingjue doesn’t know how to handle him anymore.
After Nie Mingjue confided in him this way, Lan Xichen promised he would look after Nie Huaisang, no matter what. It is part of the deal, as far as he’s concerned, because spouses must support one another, but also…
Lan Xichen is quickly becoming quite fond of this pair of brothers. Having been lonely for so long, he finds joy in the closeness they share, no matter how strained it might be at times. It is clear to him that Nie Mingjue loves his brother, though he struggles to show it when he has so much on his mind, and Nie Huaisang feels the same, to the point it was inconceivable for him to marry someone who wouldn’t be friendly with Nie Mingjue.
“Nie gongzi, you’ve done all you could for that statue,” Lan Xichen says, grabbing Nie Huaisang by the waist and pulling him down from the pedestal.
Nie Huaisang squeaks in surprise, fighting for a second before going rigid with fear as Lan Xichen puts him down. His face is a bright crimson when he looks up at Lan Xichen, who wonders whether that’s anger at being manhandled this way, but the other Nie just start laughing at his expression.
“Don’t seduce my brother like that, Xichen,” Nie Mingjue scolds, more of a joke than a real warning. “Look at him, he’s two heartbeat from asking for your hand now.”
Amazingly, Nie Huaisang manages to blush an even brighter colour, and leaps away from Lan Xichen. Nie Mingjue laughs again, apparently content with his brother’s perceived crush. Perceived, or real. Lan Xichen isn’t really sure what goes on in Nie Huaisang’s mind. He can feel is never ending flood of belief, the undercurrent of fear, but no particular affection so far. Then again, with fear that strong, it would be hard for any other emotion to flourish. Lan Xichen hasn’t wanted to talk directly about their situation yet, assuming that Nie Huaisang might want the illusion that this is all perfectly normal, but he’s rethinking that strategy. It is clear that Nie Huaisang, for whatever reason, is immune to the narrative that Lan Xichen created for his sake, so why not talk about it openly? If it can make Nie Huaisang any less afraid…
That is a problem for later. Right now, the temple is as clean as can be achieved with what little time they have available, so Nie Mingjue conducts the ceremonies necessary to consecrate the temple again, and invites Lan Xichen to inhabit again this place dedicated to him. Incense is put to burn for him, offerings are left on the altar, thanks and prayers are presented to him. Even Nie Mingjue, so openly reluctant to believe that there was any divine intervention to help his brother survive in the mountain, does provide a small stream of belief, hinting at a mind just as strong as his brother’s. Lan Xichen hopes that they can truly become friends over time, though he is unsure that’s possible with the lies he’s had to weave so he could fulfill Nie Huaisang’s request.
Still, there’s no harm in trying. If Lan Xichen is to spend one lifetime as a mortal, he wants to make the best of it, not only as a god in need of believers, but also as a person left alone far too long.
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