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still-a-morosexual-help · 1 year

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Here's something mildly heartbreaking :) (my speciality!)

Mammon definitely cried when MC died right?

• He (along with Asmo) is the character who cries the most in canon;

1.) He cries during sad parts of movies/shows/plays/books

2.) He cries while watch animal documentries

3.) Hell he cried because Beel ate the soup he was making MC

• MC died on a day where the rest of the brothers were (up until that point) having a relaxing, fun day - playing a game to get Lucifer & MC closer together. Their death was definitely unexpected/an extreme shock

• MC's injuries were bad according to Satan? (Levi?) Bad enough that a human wouldn't have been able to survive it. Bad enough that even Lucifer knew he couldn't do anything to save them when Asmo asked him to. That means the body Mammon was holding was........ I mean it would have been a gruesome sight

• Mammon's been spending every day since the beginning of the year with MC. At this point he's already obviously in love with them, they're his best friend, the two of them share a bedroom frequently. They were close

The point being: Mammon held a dying human in his arms and sobbed his fucking heart out while asking them not to die. In front of Belphie.

The point being: Mammon didn't cry when Lilith died. No listen, he absolutely broke down when she died but he didn't do it in front of his brothers. Mammon was the one keeping it together and looking after everyone when they Fell. He couldn't scream and cry and beg like he wanted to when Lilith died because he had to be the strong one, he had to soothe everyone's injuries and fears and guilt, he had to show them that things could be better, that they could move on to a brighter future (shoutout to Mammon's lines in his unit song with Lucifer).

But you know what Belphie would have seen?

He would have seen his older brother breaking down over a human he's known for months when he wouldn't even cry after his little sister, who he'd known for thousands of years, died

And we all already know what Belphie thought about humans at this time:

And we already know what he thought about his brothers at this time:

For a moment there, while MC was dying Belphie would have hated Mammon. Would have felt vindicated for causing Mammon that kind of pain, when he (as far as Belphie knew) couldn't even spare that for his sister.

Belphie would have felt angry and betrayed. Justified for what he said and did but so so painfully hurt.

And then (in s1 of the anime) when the brothers were tiptoeing around Belphie, were trying to reach out to him and act normal after what he did, but were so obviously failing, when there was a distance between them and Belphie that had previously never existed, that even Beel couldn't find away to breach, Mammon was the first to take that step forward and close the distance which prompted everyone else to do the same, to bring Belphie back to them, to show that he was accepted and loved and always a part of them

And I am very emotional about them.

Disclaimer: this is absolutely not a post bashing Belphie or his thoughts/actions/feelings. They're both complex characters and I always love trying to breakdown and figure out what certain characters were feeling at a time by bringing up other moments in canon. If you try to make this post into something to bash Belphie or start dumb discourse I will eat your entire right leg🐸

In addition, me stating things from canon or talking about negative emotions or things characters have done and comparing those things to another charcter's actions/emotions/responses is not me putting down one character to raise up another. Sometimes when analysing characters you have to compare and contrast them with others present in that or similar situations -> doing so doesn't mean I'm shit talking one character. A character can do, say, think, believe bad or complex things -> there's nothing wrong with talking about/analysing those things or still loving that character.

I know it seems stupid to say something that should seem obvious but *takes out cigar and blows smoke* I've been in this business a long time, kid (3 years for om!, 7 years actively in a fandom, 14 years in fandom in general) I've seen things, terrible things

Also, lemme shamelessly plug in my fic because it's related to this post -> Changing Seasons

Ft. Belphie coming to terms with MC after Lesson 16

Onesided Belphie × (unnamed gn!) MC

Mammon x MC being Besties

Belphie & Mammon talking, but not talking enough

Belphie's PoV

Mammon very briefly being an eldritch nightmare as a little treat for you monsterfuckers

Edit:

Huge additional part added because I realised the entire focus of this post could be misunderstood

Ajznxodjfc9enhd7ejx 😭😭😭😭this was supposed to be Belphie's post about Belphie's feelings. Y'all know I love Mammon, but he's not supposed to be the focus here🥲

Usually when I make an analysis post I take evidence from canon and then add it all together to get ✨️The Main Point✨️ of the post.

In this post I had to infer all of mammon's "canon evidence" (via other actual canon evidence) because we're never explicitly told he cried when MC died and we never see his instant reaction to Lilith's death.

Belphie's side of it was however all explicitly stated in canon so I just added the screenshots. Which is why I wrote much more about mammon on this post than Belphie.

But ✨️The Main Point✨️ that I was always getting to and what made me write this post is actually about how absolutely fucking pissed off Belphie would have been because of Mammon. How hurt and angry and betrayed he would have felt that his older brother who's meant to protect him and his family apparently valued the life of some random human over their sister's.

I added the S1 bit because it nicely rounded up Belphie & Mammon's story. Because it proved Belphie wrong. It proved exactly how much Mammon (and the others) valued him and each other. Because he got to see how heartbroken Mammon was when MC died, he knew exactly what it was like to be that heartbroken, he knew exactly what it was like to NEVER forgive that which caused the pain, and yet he was forgiven. And THAT I think more than anything would have proved Belphie's initial thoughts wrong. It would have eased any lingering feelings of betrayal and hurt he had. Would have proved how much he was loved by his older brother.

So yeah, this was absolutely made to be Belphie's post and I don't think I explained that well enough in the original post💀 in my defense i was half an hour late in feeding the kids & getting yelled at🥲

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yuungmenace · 7 months

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* ◟ : 〔 BILL SKARSGÅRD , CIS MAN + HE / HIM 〕 DONOVAN 'DONNIE' KOWALSKI , some say you’re a TWENTY NINE YEAR OLD lost soul among the neon lights. known for being both HUMOROUS and IMPULSIVE, one can’t help but think of SHUT ME UP by MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE when you walk by. are you still a SOLDIER for WHITE CROCODILES, even with your reputation as THE RABID DOG? i think we’ll be seeing more of you and BURN SCARS FROM STUBBING OUT CIGARETTES ON SKIN, SPLIT LIPS THAT HIDE A BLOODIED GRIN AND NOTCHES ON A BEDPOST FOR A KILL-COUNT, although we can’t help but think of GORO MAJIMA ( YAKUZA ) + MURDOC ( GORILLAZ ) + ALFIE SOLOMONS ( PEAKY BLINDERS ) whenever we see you down these rainy streets.

FULL NAME: Donovan ‘Donnie’ Kowalski NICKNAME(S): Don, Donnie, Kowalski, AGE: Twenty-Nine GENDER: Cis Male PRONOUNS: He/Him/His BIRTHPLACE: Chester, Pennsylvania OCCUPATION: Gas store clerk GANG AFFILIATION: Soldier for White Crocodiles FC: Bill Skarsgard

APPEARANCE

HAIR COLOUR: Light Brown EYE COLOUR: Green HEIGHT: 6”3 PIERCINGS?: Left ear, tongue, both nipples. TATTOOS: Multiple, most prominent are ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE’ on his neck, a white-ink crocodile on his left hand and the Eye of Horus on both palms.

TRAITS

POSITIVE: Funny, Confident, Dedicated NEGATIVE: Impulsive, Unreasonable, Boisterous

BACKGROUND

TW drugs, murder, child abuse, child neglect, death, prison

Does it matter when he was born? Donovan doesn’t think so, life’s a blur when you’re that age, it only really begins when you can remember it did. He remembers stained mattresses, sandwiches of white bread and jelly and reruns of late night cop shows. The house was filthy, he was filthy, yet nobody seemed to care about it. What he does know is he was angry, always angry, as his sisters and brothers came along all he felt was rage at the person he called mother laid on the couch, staring with glazed eyes at the ceiling and father, drinking from large bottles of vodka and smacking his face when he didn’t change a diaper. Donovan tried - he always tried to make things easier, tried to make sure there was food in the cupboards, tried to make sure his momma didn’t choke on her vomit, that when men came over they all stayed in their rooms and waited for them to leave. If teachers or parents at school noticed how small all the Kowalski kids were, they didn’t say anything, a scruffy family.

Things like this don’t end well, and to this day Donovan doesn’t know what happened. The shed out in the woods, the one where substances were made (they brew potions, he once told his younger sister, dangerous ones so you need to stay out) suddenly blew into a storm of fire and death. Donovan lost both his parents.

He should’ve called someone but didn't. He knew what would happen - they’d split up the remainder of the family. Once again he tried to keep things going, selling jewelry, telling the others that it was just them now. Mom and Dad weren’t coming back, but it was going to be alright. The money ran out though, the food ran out and one day his younger sister let slip to someone who cared that Mummy hadn’t been around for nearly two weeks now. Not once did he say anything, lips tightly shut as he sat in a small chair in a room that was painted brightly. Toys on the floor, cartoon stickers for doing so well talking to the nice officer lady! Bodies were recovered, fractured events pieced together. Donovan hugged them all and said he’d come visit. Then the Kowalski kids were split up, and he never saw any of them again.

Fast forwards to orphanages, fostering, kicked out for running away. Another family, knocking out his step-brothers front tooth. Another family, kicking the cat. Another family, stealing cigarettes. It didn’t matter how loving they were, how many difficult kids they’d worked with, Donovan was always the breaking point. He barely attended school, preferring to hang out in parks or on street corners with his friends and commit petty arson and robberies. This behavior escalated, sending him to juvie once or twice before Donovan aged out of the system. It was always petty crime and shitty jobs, though his criminal history meant they were hard to come by. Luck was never on his side till he ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time - a gang fight. It was nothing to do with him of course, he was familiar with some low-level activities but not this. He shouldn’t have got involved but he did, jabbing a blade into someone’s neck to save another life as the cop sirens came screaming down the street. In those few brief moments, a deal was made - Donovan would take the rat for a capo and no matter the sentence, would be allowed into the gang as thanks afterwards.

Prison was prison, a 6 year stretch that saw Donnie 26 when he finally left but, at least he had somewhere to go after - White Crocodile’s made good on their word, and invited him to their gang.

OTHER

Owns a pitbull named Malibu - she’s his pride and joy.

Has poor literacy and writing skills.

Lives in a two room apartment that’s literally just one room for the bedroom and kitchen and then the other room is a bathroom.

Has never worn an ironed shirt in his life.

Likes 80s pop music and rollerblading.

Has enough knowledge of torture methods to be able to flay someone alive - is sort of known for doing it to a persons hand.

Eats mainly microwave food, can’t cook and rarely eats anything ‘fresh’ or ‘healthy’.

Scrappy as fuck in a fight.

Cuts his own hair

#lawlessintro #child abuse tw #child neglect tw #death tw #drugs tw #prison tw #tw murder

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citygirlcharlotte · 2 years

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The Sister Halstead (Part 9)

Masterlist

Pairings: Hank Voight x Female OC, Will & Jay Halstead x Sister!OC

“If you’re going to hit me, do it now and get it over with.” Henry told Jay.

I had managed to wrangle my brothers and Henry into a joint dinner and it wasn’t really going well. Besides how awkward it was while we were waiting for the table, alcohol was ordered before water could even be brought out.

We made it through the appetizers with me talking most of the time but by the time we got to the entrees, the tension was palpable.

“Are you excited to be back at your place?” I asked Jay.

“No, I hate my place now that I’ve been at yours.” Jay laughed.

“Isn’t your lease up soon?” Will asked him.

“Yeah I gotta figure out if I’m going to renew or not.” He shrugged.

“If you need a roommate…” Will trailed off.

“Is it that bad?” I asked him.

Henry looked a little confused, so I whispered “Nat” in his ear.

“Let’s just say I probably won’t be needed moms ring anymore.” He sighed.

“You moving out?” Jay asked.

“I think I have to. I’m definitely going to need a roommate though, this malpractice insurance on top of student loans is eating the shit out of my paychecks.” Will sighed.

I got to pondering for a second before deciding to save the day.

“Well big brothers of mine, I have a solution to both of your problems.” I mused.

“You’re going to let us both move in?” Will snorted.

“Definitely not. My dad does however own another apartment in my building. It’s a 3 bedroom on the floor below mine and I’m pretty sure the tenants are moving out soon.” I offered.

“God, I don’t even want to know what the rent on that would look like.” Jay scoffed.

“Free 99 big brother. You’re family, you don’t have to pay rent.”

“Are you shitting me?” Will asked excitedly.

“Nope, as soon as I figure out when the old tenants are moving out, you two are free to move in.”

“Best sister ever!”

---

“Come back to bed.”

Henry had decided to go into work on a freaking Saturday for some reason and was leaving me by my lonesome at 7 am.

“Sorry sweetheart, crime doesn’t stop just because it’s a Saturday.” He laughed.

I moped behind him like a kicked puppy while he made his way to the kitchen to make some coffee. I sat on the counter with the largest pout I could muster to express my disdain for being abandoned on a Saturday of all days.

“Don’t pout baby girl.”

He maneuvered his body to stand between my open legs and lifted my pouting face with his index finger.

“Be a good girl and I’ll take you out of dessert tonight.”

“Can’t I just have you for dessert?” I grumbled.

“We’ll see sweetheart.” He laughed.

Deciding not to waste a whole day moping, I had to do some serious cleaning of my apartment from having 3 men going in and out of for over 3 months. I had a bunch of photos I had printed and framed in the hall closet just waiting to be put up. I grabbed a photo of my brothers and I while we were at Molly’s a few months ago. Right next to it was a very cute photo of Henry and I when we were at museum. I can’t believe that Henry and I have been together for nearly 6 months. I love that man more than I really should at 6 months but what can I say? When you know, you know.

I also found a box of my Amazon monthly restocks and headed to put them away. I was putting away the items in my bathroom when I got to the tampons and realized that the box I already has was still full. Why was it still full?

Immediately leaping for my phone, I went through my calendar and realized that I was a dumb bitch who was late on her period.

“What the fuck!” I whined.

I was too scared to go get a test myself so I used Instacart to order a pregnancy test, a bottle of champagne if its negative and a bag of sweets if its positive. 45 long minutes later it was here and I was about to throw up out of nervousness.

I wanted to call Henry and ask him to come back but I didn’t know how he was going to react and the thought of him rejecting me scared me more than anything else.

“Come on Charlie, pull your big girly panties up and get this done.” I yelled at myself.

3 of the longest minutes of my life passed as I stared down at the counter, about to pull the towel off my test that will change my entire life.

“Sweetheart?”

Taglist:

@royaltysuite @jadakiss13 @ego-allie-bap @acdassenza @alldaysdreamers @sande5098 @50-21upstead @justaproudslytherpuff

#chicago pd #hank voight #hank voight x reader #jay halstead #jay Halstead x reader #will halstead #will Halstead x reader #chicago fire #chicago med

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seeminglyseph · 2 months

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My mom was talking about my sister feeling self conscious about her body, and like. I think part of it is she has for some reason a lot of oddly petite friends. Like. For some reason they’re all really short and she’s been friends with them since they were kids and some of them have that like. Unusually skinny body type that like… look some people don’t gain body fat I’m not shaming but those of us who do gain body fat do get shamed all the time constantly so like. Extremely skinny people for some reason get set at the status quo when they like. Really really aren’t. And that’s mostly the weird part honestly. And the fact that like y’all bodies work so fundamentally different than mine that it’s like. A little mystifying sometimes.

My mother is one of these people honestly and it I think causes serious conflict. Because like. She is literally 110lbs. Like. The last time I was 110lbs I was like. A teenager with an eating disorder. Like. It was a fucking bad situation. My mom is in her 60s. I’ve weighed more than her since I was a teenager. And I am a few inches shorter than her. My sister’s like half a foot taller than me, and like. I guess thick fit? Though more on the fit than the thick? And generally just kinda average slightly curvy human woman? But also I always considered her like. The hot one? Not in the weird way but like. How in Daria there’s the weird introvert sibling and cool hot sibling. There’s always the nerd sibling and the hot sibling in sitcoms and I was a latchkey kid raised on TV. I think my sister is objectively an attractive woman who men should be proud to date?

But I also think while I have a shitton of body image issues that I definitely got from my mom being. Fucking weird about my body. I wonder if my mom being absurdly tiny and like. Worrying about it so much, and doing things like “wear the spanx it will make you look less fat” and whatever. Like. I don’t know how much of that stuff she did specifically to my sister because my sister was never as much of a “problem” as I was. It always seemed to me like she was the one doing everything right. But even if she wasn’t the one getting criticized, watching me get dragged over the coals could’ve just given her a complex about like. “I never want to be in that position”

It’s hard being a dumb broken shithead trying to be empathetic because it’s like. “I want to be open and understanding with my family” and then I do that and then like. In two months I’ll be vulnerable and it’ll blow up in my face because like half my family is absolutely garbage at emotions.

Also I may have accidentally implied to my mother that I think my sister is a dom and should try to find a nice sub to settle down with, instead of these alpha males she keeps trying to date. Because I think kink dynamics are generic and normal enough to just be sub categories I can expect to be relatable in conversations about normal basic heterosexual…. Stuff. I don’t know anything about this. She might just be an emotionally unavailable bitch. I might just have Eldest Daughter Trauma.

I don’t know. It’s already weird trying to be like “no my sister’s an attractive person objectively. I’m not attracted to her because ew, but also not my type but also ew, but she is an objectively attractive person.”

You grow up with a negative sibling relationship, complimenting them is unfamiliar territory. And then the whole “the internet loves to take anything you say in the worst way possible” paranoia my brain is like. “Literally the very concept of there being an incest angle is revolting. I think I would rather bite off my fingers and die.” I’m literally pulling a “no homo” but because of how weird I’ve seen some stupid internet discourse go off about dumb shit and I like. Hate the idea of having someone take this in that direction considering how distant my sister and I are and how hard it is to deal with actual sibling relationships without random people taking things the wrong way maliciously.

I took a sleeping pill and it’s the wrong side of 4am and my sinus headache is fucking demolishing me. I really wanna work things out with my sister one day, but there’s a lot of trauma and resentment built up. And it’s hard to know how much I can open up or trust her a lot of the time. Family is complicated.

And I am constantly plagued by the fear of running out of time. Dunno what to do with that.

#my life

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tuberculosis-bot-9000 · 1 year

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Daesii Cyn

@accursedkaleeshi

Daesii was pretty from day one.

Born in the fall of 30 BBY, Daesii was Salaen’s second and final baby. It was a widely-known fact in the family that Daesii was the prettiest baby. Not the cutest, but the prettiest. Her scales glittered like cut topaz and citrine, scale patterns inherited from her mother with blood orange accents from her father. Her sly golden eyes would pick you apart from her crib like a predatory jungle cat.

Daesii grew up fast, a hellion bent on running wild. She'd be out the door at the break of dawn and back long after night fell, usually with a few more scrapes and bruises than she left with. The moms liked to joke she cost them more in the thread to repair her clothes than the food she ate. She'd always have a new scheme or plan, and she loved to recruit her siblings to help. She actually managed to build a not-half-bad shelter in the woods behind the Sheelal compound, and it became the clubhouse for the sibs.

Daesii was prone to fits of extremes, and though her manic energy was the most common, other emotions would bubble up from time to time. In one such incident, she had rescued a jungle aseel with a gimpy leg from a snake and brought it home. When it turned up dead a few days later, she was inconsolable for days. Her anger was similarly legendary. She often got into arguments with her siblings and parents, including a spiteful and ultimately pointless argument with her father the day before he returned to the Banking Clan for the last time.

That hurt. A lot.

Daesii broke after that. She became despondent and unresponsive. She would have to be guided everywhere and watched while eating to ensure she didn't choke. She was a droid, her previously-sharp eyes now dull and dim. A massive, spiky pit of darkness crouched in Daesii's mind, thorny talons dug deep into every crevice of her being. It took her the better part of a year to claw her way out of her depressive state.

Daesii had gone through hell and back, and come out different for it. Gone was the wild child who rescued aseels and got into hours-long screaming matches. In her place was a predator in people skin. Daesii had become bitter and cynical, her vibrant energy replaced with an icy cold disdain for everything and everyone. She was sharp-eyed and sharp-tongued, slicing anyone to ribbons over anything. More than once Alīka had to forcibly pick her up and carry her away from whichever poor sibling had earned her ire.

She was definitely an edgy little shit, to say the least. As emo as a Kaleesh can be. Things only got worse after Weyla, one of the few people she'd listened to, disappeared. Daesii's perfect stonewall technique shattered. All of her black, thorny emotions poured out of her in a deluge of tears. It felt like the universe itself was out to get her, to pull her apart and watch her wriggle like a sadistic child with a beetle. Daesii was a piñata and the galaxy was a thirteen-year-old birthday boy whose parents had just announced their divorce.

The family tried their best to support her while dealing with their own grief. Daesii tried to blunt her vicious personality, but some people were determined to grip her by the blades. Gradually, Daesii was lifted from the quagmires of her grief. Her golden disposition began to return, in fragments. There would be no way to completely get over the most difficult portion of her life, but she made a valiant effort. Daesii started to help around the house more, trying to fit into her role as older sister.

Eventually though, when she was about 21, she decided to leave home. There were too many negative emotions associated with her family's home to stay. So she packed her things, scrounged up some credits, and bought a ticket off-world. Before she left, she visited Salaen's place in the family shrine. It was a quick, quiet, and painful ceremony. Daesii was barely 6 when her mother was mauled by a piinyur, but she remembered enough. She couldn't leave without casting off that particular coat of death. And so, with a lighter heart and brighter eyes, Daesii headed off to make her way in the galaxy.

Daesii spent the next half-decade bouncing around various planets and outposts, working odd jobs here or there to afford a warm meal and a bed. Imperials didn't like her much, but what else was new? It was in 4 BBY when her fortunes changed. Daesii was living on Coruscant at the time, working in none other than the Invisible Hand Cantina. One of her favorite routines was telling customers with a completely straight face that General Grievous was her dad, which always got a laugh and a good tip.

Working at the Cantina made Daesii focus on her charming side. In the grand scheme of things, Kaleesh are similar enough to humans to appear recognizably beautiful and exotic enough to be attractive. And Daesii was very pretty by Kaleesh standards. Daesii's mere presence at the cantina increased the regular crowd. Eventually, the number of credits flowing into the cantina was enough for them to hire a full-time band to play music while Daesii sang.

Daesii hadn't sung in years, but she had always been good at it. For a few hours every night, the music would play and Daesii would sing. After a few months of this, holos began to circulate of her singing a Kaleesh love song. Immediately she was flooded with people offering her huge sums of credits to come sing for them, and Daesii went where the money was. Thus began her career as a performer.

Daesii became a sort of microcelebrity, the type of indie musician your friend never shuts up about. Her newly-made fortune afforded her a life of luxury she never could have dreamed of. A penthouse on Coruscant, status as a beloved performer, a personal protocol droid. She lived amongst the upper echelons of Coruscant society, acting as an unofficial liaison for Kalee. She made connections and friends with senators whose ears she could bend when she needed a favor.

Leveraging her high status and political allies, she could exert a small amount of power, even more if she used her growing funds. And the ISB hated her for it. An alien that dared move about the Empire as if she were human? A celebrity that fought for change against the status quo? An awful combination for the xenophobic Imperials. The ISB started a smear campaign against her, painting her as a primitive, savage Kaleesh. They used evidence gathered from Grievous's bloody rampages and General Sk'ar's divide-and-conquer tactics. Despite this, Daesii managed to keep an air of cool and calm about her, though her status had definitely taken a hit. Much to the Imperials' chagrin though, Daesii refused to be cowed. She began to fight even harder, calling on her friends to push for a better future.

So the ISB decided enough was enough. Daesii Cyn had a death warrant. In the year 2 ABY, with the Rebellion in full swing, the Empire attempted to assassinate Daesii. A bounty was placed on Daesii's head through the bounty hunting guild, and the more unscrupulous hunters crawled out of the woodwork to claim her head, including the notorious Trandoshan bounty hunter Bossk.

Bossk and the other bounty hunters ambushed Daesii in her penthouse, each intent on taking her bounty for themselves. Daesii, despite her Coruscanti affectations as of late, was still a Kaleesh pragmatist. And that means a bed axe. The bounty hunters pursued her through her apartment for hours, slowly tiring her. Still, she was a vicious fighter and a 6'8" Kaleesh fighter with all the ferocity of a caged piinyur. That bloody night ended in her laundry room, with her standing over an unfortunate human she cleaved shoulder to opposite hip. In a burst of tranquilizing gas, Bossk played his hand and collected the bounty.

Daesii was dragged before the ISB and given a sham trial, sentenced to 35 years in a prison work camp. Daesii laughed and said, "The Empire won't last 35 years,". And she was right. Not 3 years later, she was freed by the New Republic and returned to Coruscant. She gathered her fortune and went home to Kalee, where she lived the rest of her days in relative peace. The axe came too.

#star wars #general grievous #accursedkaleeshi’s giant awesome kaleesh family

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yuyevon · 2 years

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venting under cut

the funniest and most annoying part of my ex coming home is that he leaves his door cracked open all day long then comes home and slams doors shut and stomps around and then locks his door as if I'm gonna barge in there for something. get over yourself I have literally ignored you for a month and a half now

like sorry you decided to dump me for another person u were already talking to with 5-6 months left on our lease. tried to hide it then got mad when I didn't react well to finding out!

as of this is solely MY fault. I can fully acknowledge and feel bad about saying things I can't take back, even if I don't regret all of it. but you also DID things you can't take back! like this is violent but I hope your stupid relationship crumbles and you have no one to put your dick in lol.

this whole thing still sucks so so bad because even thought I KNOW I'm not a Broken Human Being for not wanting sex or kids or family etc etc it sure feels like being tossed aside since the person he left me for already conveniently has a kid! I hate being queer I hate being trans I hate being ace. but then I remember I've been staking my whole identity on satisfying him for the last few years anyway and then I love being queer and trans and ace.

I can't and won't look into what he's doing or what his friends or family think of me or what he's doing. I would love to be validated but either way will negatively affect my mental health. the physical stress responses I've been having to this whole ordeal are driving me up the fucking wall to the point where no, I CAN'T move in with my sister the floor below mine because I need to get away from this entire building for now. my hair is falling out my scalp health is shit I can barely eat I can't sleep my body hurts hurts hurts my head hurts I have heartburn every day I can't enjoy my days off and I can barely enjoy my time with my friends. I'd love to move back in here with a friend that I trust or smth someday because I love the building I live in so so so much. I just cannot physically be here anymore. I need healing time away from him and memories of him. suck when you have 10 years of that under your belt!

he kept trying to feed me this story that he "didn't expect to find someone so soon" after we'd talked right after the breakup and agreed we'd tell each other when we were ready to start dating other people again. I really thought there'd be a recuperation period. but even if you physically weren't you sure emotionally were! "unexpected" getting with her 1 week after dumping me my ass. I hope she has fun doing nothing with you except waiting for you to get off the computer and getting tired of your sex drive. could not drag him out of the house for ANYTHING. it was like pulling teeth to go on a date!!!

I wanted to see some kind of emotion on him after we broke up. besides the initial break. but he got over it so so fast and I've still been crying nearly every day for another stupid reason over it. I'm not dwelling as hard as I used to because I know it's better this way, but now I just end up focusing on things like "well what's wrong with me" and is it because I'm not a girl is it because I'm autistic is it because I'm annoying why do you hate my friends why wouldn't you hang out with me why wouldn't you sit down and watch 1 episode of a tv show with me

and before we broke up and I kept trying to ask him if the "talk" he wanted to have was going to be a good or bad thing (I knew it would be a breakup) he kept insisting it was good. even to the point where he had to walk into the bathroom to reassure me because I was texting him from the SHOWER. that it would be a good talk. boom the next morning kills me with the worst news I'd ever received in my whole life! good talk for YOU probably.

ugh. UGH. I'm still so extremely angry. I know he knows that too, even though I don't outwardly show it. I just never ever thought this relationship would end. or that it would end LIKE THIS. I want to be DONE being mad and upset so I can move on but that probably won't happen until I move out of here and not be forced to be in the same house as him. or the same neighborhood or city as him.

#i needed to get more out than that lol

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themomsandthecity · 3 months

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What Does Modern Parenting Look Like? 23 Millennials Share Their Rules

We're millennials, of course we don't make our kids hug anyone they don't want to. Or spank them as a disciplinary action. Or make them finish their dinner before having dessert. Because parenting the way our parents may have is exactly what is not in for 2024 - at least for the group of people between the ages of 28-43 who have children. Millennials are bringing a new wave of modern parenting, something that many argue is for the better. And while every generation of parents comes with certain rules and certain expectations aligned with the times people were living in, gentle parenting is making quite the statement with millennials (along with a few other parenting styles). So what does parenting actually look like today? What kind of rules are millennial parents enforcing, or actually not implementing at all? How does it differ from the way millennials were raised themselves? Below, 23 millennial parents share their parenting rules and tips. Related: Is Helicopter Parenting That Bad? Experts Break Down the Benefits and Drawbacks Here's What Millennial Parenting Looks Like "My daughter, who is 2, sleeps in our room, and she will until she doesn't want to anymore. I hated sleeping by myself as a kid, and as an adult, I still don't sleep alone. I never want her to feel alone in her own house." - Allie "My biggest thing is apologizing to my kids when I have my own 'big feelings.' I was raised tiptoeing around adults' feelings, and when they would blow up, I always felt like it was my job to apologize to them or do them favors or be extra sweet until they felt better. Now, I make sure to apologize to my kids when I lose my shit and explain that being a grown-up can be hard." - Christina "I answer all their 'whys' so they understand my perspective." - Rachel "I respect when my daughter says 'no' or indicates she doesn't want to do something. If I tickle her while we're playing and she says 'no,' I stop." - Hannah* "I'm totally OK with my kids taking mental health days off from school. Neither of them struggles with grades, so if they feel like staying home occasionally, I'm all for it." - Kristen "We don't spank our kids. We may smack a hand or two in the heat of the moment, but never anything more than that. My mom was a spanking mom when I was a child, so it's something I feel really strongly about." - Lauren* "We don't comment on food." - Savanna "We don't make our kids eat everything on their plate in one sitting. If they don't finish their food, they put it in the fridge. When they ask for a snack, they eat whatever's left on their plate before getting something new." - Desirae "We let my daughter see us fight but also let her see us repair after a fight." - Erin "I make sure to apologize to my kids when I lose my shit and explain that being a grown-up can be hard." "Our screen-time rules are two hours of screen time per day. But also, no chatting with anyone on their computer games. If they want to chat, they can communicate with their preapproved friends on FB Messenger Kids." - Jamie "My daughter loves ballet but hates recitals, so no forced performances. I would've been forced to get on stage. She sat with us in the audience and happily cheered her sister and friends on at their recital. If she learns that you can love something without needing to produce a product, I'll be thrilled." - Emily "We don't idolize dessert. It's not something she earns, sweets are given to her the same way every other type of food is. Food in general is not a reward." - Kim "We don't talk about bodies except for what they can do and how they work. Never what they look like or what someone else looks like." - Katherine "My son is only 3 and my daughter only 8 months old, but I don't talk negatively about my body in front of them," - Ashley* "I never hold a grudge or use the silent treatment. We talk about emotions and work through them." - Jamie "We definitely… https://www.popsugar.com/family/millennial-parenting-style-rules-tips-49335548?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

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the-crustoadian · 3 months

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Alright time for a depressing rant that I feel I need to type out to feel better

I'm fucked. I can't find a job and I have negative money in my bank account. Rent is nearly 900 dollars. I have two bills still needing to be paid. There's barely any food in the house. If I can't get a job or find some money somehow, then what? My parents will let me stay with them, but that's not in the city I live in. It's in a rural town away from all of my friends and all opportunities to go out and have fun or do anything. There's less jobs out there. If that happens I've fucked over my best friend and roommate, who can't afford this pace all on her own, and I don't know what might happen with her if I leave. Oh, and I'd have to abandon my cat, which makes me feel like a literal monster, because my Dad is allergic to cats and not very healthy. A cat in the house could actually kill him, so I don't want to do that either. So what can I do? Just go back to my parents and... Do nothing until I die? I always think about trying to stream, but I don't even have a computer. I doubt I could gain an audience by just streaming from the twitch app on my Xbox and using my mic to talk. I also just... Don't think I actually like streaming. Or anything I "want" to do for a career. Streaming. Drag. Singing. There's a few things I "love" and "wish I could be doing" but the thought of actually doing them... I don't think I'd enjoy it. Streaming for months on end with no viewers. Trying to do drag with no make-up skills, no fashion sense, and no idea on how to move my body. Everyone says I have a nice voice but, honestly, so what? I love to sing but I'd never be a good artist. I can't write songs, I have no actually knowledge of making music like my sister does, and she's barely getting anything from being in a band. Nothing seems to be worth it. None of my "passions" seem like they should be pursued, because what's the fucking point? I'm never going to succeed in them. Not fat fuck me from fucking nowhere, knows no one, no fucking drive to do anything. I'm just so tired of this struggle. I've been "lucky" that I could stay in the city for this long while unemployed, but that's only because my fucking grandmother died and I got my portion of the inheritance. But I miss her so fucking much. It's not fucking fair, none of this is fucking fair. The way the world is, the way I am, the way I'm going to ruin my best friends life because I'm a fucking failure at everything. And my cat. My fucking cat. I don't want to live without him, I can't fucking abandon him like this, he's already been abandoned by those he's loved before. I'm fucking cruel for putting him through this again. And also passing the burden to someone else. Probably my best friend. "Hey I know you're minus half of rent but could you also cover the expenses for my cat now? Thanks." Fuck. God I'm so bad with money too. This is mostly my fault for being in this position. I'm so so so so so fucking bad with money. It all goes away on fucking Uber eats or door dash and fucking weed. And the occasional video game. I don't know when to fucking stop. And now that everything is so fucking expensive it goes even quicker. Ten years in this city is all I'll get I guess. Ten years that were filled with mostly me crying about how stressful living is. Some fun, some good times and memories, but... It's been nothin but shit for a long time. And it won't get better. I'm fucked. I wish I had the balls to kill myself.

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servin-up-surveys · 7 months

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survey #187

Do you typically eat breakfast or skip it? I basically always eat it.

What was the last thing you took a picture of? An orb weaver spider at my sister's house. I hope she's still there, but I'm kinda doubtful since her web was attached to the kids' playset, and their dad is the kind of ignorant redneck that kills any harmless spider or snake he sees.

Do you have a collection of anything? Yes, primarily meerkat-oriented stuff.

How did you discover your favorite band? Ozzy, I discovered really through my mom; I grew up sometimes hearing him and eventually gravitated towards his music on my own. I first heard Rammstein in a Guitar Hero game.

What was the last big decision you made? uh... I don't know.

When was the last time you performed in front of a group of people? Not since I was a teenager (or maybe a very very young adult) in dance.

Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes or pie with your grandma? The only thing my maternal grandma (the only one I really knew) ever made me was pissed off lmao, no.

Do you burn incense? I like to, but I rarely do it.

Do you smoke weed? I don't, I'm not interested in smoking anything. It's also illegal in NC because this state is horribly behind with like... everything.

Have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? Yes; I was a baby when it happened, but Hurricane Floyd was no joke. It ruined certain areas around here, like there are certainly places where the weather damage was never truly fixed and houses withered. I've endured many hurricanes since, but none - I think - that were on Floyd's level.

What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries? Bojangle's. I also like McDonald's a lot, but I think everyone loves McD's fries, lol.

Do you believe one day aliens might take over Planet Earth? Personally, no. The hell do I know though, I won't bet my life on that. Sometimes I feel like the world would be better off if aliens did say fuck y'all, lol.

Do you like soda pop? If so, which is your favorite and least favorite? Soda is my dietary weakness, easy fuckin' peasy. My favorite is Mountain Dew, specifically the Voltage kind, which is blue raspberry. I also enjoy strawberry Sunkist A LOT, but it's not something I have almost ever. I'd say my least favorite is root beer probably, it's not a flavor I really enjoy.

Does it bother you when people burp around you or do you do it too? I really don't give a shit, I wish basic bodily functions that are entirely normal weren't treated as if they're gross because I think it's had a very negative effect on health and caring for various things.

Ever had a friend named Alex or John? Alex, yes. We were very close online friends then she just like... fell off the face of the earth. I miss her a lot.

What kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? I'm pretty basic, just ketchup and mustard. Bits of finely diced onions is fine, too, but I don't go out of my way for it, and I definitely won't want a lot.

Where did you kiss the last person you kissed? In my bed before he went home.

Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced? ...................... bitch what???????????? of course it's fine??????????????????????

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? I've had my right nostril pierced twice in my life, and I want to get it redone again. I just always had issues keeping studs in.

Would you ever donate blood? I've done it twice now and absolutely plan to keep going whenever Girt goes to one. It was very fulfilling, plus it was a fun thing to do together.

Describe the main problem with your last relationship? We were/are both very mentally ill individuals and instead of helping each other stay upright, I feel like we dragged one another down.

Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Do you find hands attractive? I can find men's hands particularly attractive. It doesn't happen much with women; like I love elegant-looking hands aesthetically, but I'm not like, attracted to them. Hands aren't a major thing for me, though.

Do you think it is silly to give names to vehicles, or other inanimate objects? I don't care. I don't do it, but I don't care about it.

Is there a hair color/style you really like but don’t think you could pull off? I LOVE bald women, like oh my god y'all are so fucking hot but I could never do it.

Out of all the Disney/Pixar animal “sidekicks”, which one is your favorite? Dory.

If your mom was a teacher, would you want to be in her class? lol my mom HAS been a substitute (or assistant? idr) in an elementary class for me before. My mom was a fabulous teacher and I'd ALWAYS want her at the head of my class.

As a kid, did you love playing on Neopets? I sure did, I consider it the start of my Internet addiction.

Would you ever get a pet turtle? Why or why not? No, they're just not my kind of pet. I love 'em, but don't want to have any.

What shop/store/brand would you model for, if given the choice? Hot Topic, I guess. I don't really wanna model for anyone, I'm way too self-conscious, even if I wasn't fat.

If I search your room will I find birth control? No.

Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Since I was a very literal child. It's one of the extremely few skills I'm actually confident in.

What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? Been a complete fucking asshole who thought she was doing good.

The last piece of roadkill you saw, what kind of animal was it? Uhhhh I think a raccoon?

Has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? Yes.

List 5 things that have happened in the last 7 days. (They can be anything at all, anything that’s happened involving you, or your family, friends, partner) 1.) I had an antidepressant med's dosage increased, 2.) Girt got jumpscared to shit by a massive spider in the mail lol, 3.) I went shopping with my mom in a store for the first time in a VERY long time and I was very pleased with how my legs did, 4.) I finished a Wings of Fire book, and 5.) I fed Venus.

Random fact about the person you love/like? Tying into the last question, Girt's super super cute when he comes over on a night Venus gets fed (twice a month); he's wary around snakes and has never even touched her, but he gets hype about "rat day" and likes watching her eat.

How many pets do you want? And of what? A lot, mostly reptiles and various tarantula species. This is very dependent on where I live though as well as how easily I can provide for those I have. I refuse to hoard animals I can't give proper, healthy lives to.

Have you ever asked someone out? Yes, more than once.

Is the last person you kissed a virgin? No.

Who makes you the happiest? Girt.

What are your views on spontaneous human combustion? This shit is a super creepy concept, and I am so not a scientist that can give you a proper stance here. I FEEL like there's been at least one confirmed case of this killing somebody, but I might be wrong, and honestly I hope I am. The idea of this being possible is absolutely terrifying.

What was the last zoo/aquarium you went to? Some aquarium by the beach, idr its name.

What does the last message in your Facebook inbox concern? Girt's sister Ashley sent me some pictures of car decal she got because she knew it was a topic I cared about.

How did you meet the person you fell hardest for? Technically Facebook; he reached out to me after apparently seeing me in the school hallway and having an "I need to know her" fairytale moment, asking a friend who I was or something. Nowadays it's like... thanks for the trauma bro lmao

What was your favourite thing about the person you fell hardest for? He was very unique, and completely unashamed of who he was. He was so comfortable being him, which I couldn't and still can't relate to but wish I did.

Are you a strong swimmer? I mean, I'm fine at it. I prefer to just doggy paddle, lol.

What was your worst fear as a child? Have you overcome that fear? Tornadoes, and no, not really. I'm less hysterical in situations where one might occur, but I am still very much terrified of tornadoes.

What kind of music do you listen to the most? I'd say industrial metal/rock, probably.

Have you ever tried veggie burgers? Yes, I had a vegetarian phase. I had okay ones, but they weren't spectacular or anything. Nothing like an actual burger.

Would you rather have another job? I'd like to have *A* job... One I can actually do and not have to keep going into a bathroom to have a panic attack and cry.

Did you ever live in a house with more than one story? No.

Do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother? No. My mother's the one who BUYS any clothes I put on my body, so... lol

Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? ew no

Do you look older or younger than you actually are? Younger. In about the past year-ish, I've been mistaken for a teenager twice.

What was the last show that you watched a full episode of? It was a Naked and Afraid-type show with Mom.

Do you have any significantly older siblings? Yes, both my parents have kids from relationships before theirs together.

Which parent do you feel the most affection for? My mom.

Do you know anyone who hates/dislikes chocolate? My maternal grandma only liked chocolate in the form of Reese's, and my nephew Ryder is weird with chocolate, too. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes he doesn't, but I know he definitely prefers vanilla.

Have you ever hated yourself? oh boy have I

Did your parents ever ground you? Mom did, my dad didn't do much in terms of raising us kids and deciding things about us.

Do you like your smile? No.

Were you/are you popular in high school? I wasn't.

Who is your female celeb crush? (If applicable) Rhea Ripley could break my back and I'd nut ok

Who is your male celeb crush? (If applicable) Richard Kruspe could also break my back and I'd be cool abt it

Do you have a favorite Marvel character? Deadpool, probs.

Favorite DC character? Harley Quinn.

Do you read comic books? I don't.

Name a few historical figures you find interesting. Why? I find Sarah Winchester, designer of the Winchester Mystery House, to be EXTREMELY fascinating. She was the widow of the creator of the Winchester rifle and never stopped expanding upon her mansion in an attempt to supposedly confuse and flee the spirits killed by her husband's firearm design. She was very involved in spiritual practices and she just really intrigues me, all the while I feel deeply for such a haunted, miserable person.

What is your favorite historical film and why? The Boy in the Striped Pajamas because the feeling it leaves you goes so far beyond words. The Holocaust in general just SOUNDS so fake in how evil it was, and while the movie may tell the tale of made-up kids, the general gist was so real. It's a movie that has left me feeling so cold each time I've seen it.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions #questionnaire

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cutlikediamonds · 11 months

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i might be a lot more active here for the summer lol

so i just finished my first year away at school which honestly it had high highs but also low lows so i dont mind coming back home but at the same time, the highs i got were mostly even possible because i wasnt home. my family means well and i love them and i dont want us to ever become estranged or anything but there was just a lot of unresolved trauma and grief among all of us and getting to escape that did wonders for my mental health and even my relationship with them. but i have no where else to be for the summer but home, where i dont have my bedroom anymore and im sleeping on the couch, and where i feel like im surrounded by people who are forever going to cling to a version of me theyve had since i was a kid because they refuse to realize i grew up or that they ever hurt me, intentional or not.

(and it wasnt intentional ever, i know that, which makes everything more complicated because i know im valid in my anger about it but also know that they genuinely didnt mean it. its complicated. families are complicated.)

anyways, that itself is kinda fine on its own. its stressful and it requires all my efforts of self advocacy and regulating my emotions but i was doing okay taking on the challenge mostly.

but ive been here a couple weeks now and something has become incredibly clear that i wasnt really ready for, this house is still so goddamn disordered when it comes to weight and eating and its only gotten way fucking worse.

part of me getting out of here and healing was i got to be completely in control of my own food and restart that incredibly unhealthy relationship from scratch and heal a bit for once. maybe even exercise for reasons that werent self-punishment. i got to finally figure out what foods i even liked because i wasnt just only considering calories and guilt anymore. now im home and i guess i forgot that they all stayed here and didnt get the same experience, theyve only gotten worse. and theyre supportive of me working on my mental health, even if they dont always understand, but ive never told them about my own eating disorder so of course they arent thinking anything of it, but im already relapsing.

i went from not even having access to a scale to having two in the house. they instantly went back to calling me the skinny one. they love boasting about the number on the scale going down and how small their appetite is now and how they arent even hungry - they do not comment on the throwing up and the dizziness theyre getting from the injections.

yeah, injections. not that im expecting an audience but for anyone reading, if youve ever heard of those injections that are originally for diabetics that are now being marketed for weight loss (as if it isnt hard enough for diabetics to get the treatment they need in this fucking country), thats what my brother and sister are on thats making them shed all this weight. my mom isnt on it but shes her usual self, being over supportive of toxic behaviors and trying to hide ‘junk’ food and shit from them, passing it all off as her being helpful.

the thing is its again complicated too. i dont wanna be negative when they try to celebrate their weight loss, i know its something that has genuinely troubled them for years and i can tell this means a lot to them, but fucking come on. i dont need to be a psychologist to see how wrong this all is. i know its a lot harder to do the real work of unpacking your relationship with your body and diet and find a healthy balance but if this is the easy way out they take instead?

theyre obsessive. i just saw my brother weigh himself after eating. my sister is body checking every time she passes the mirror. my mom keeps saying the calories in everything when either of them are looking for something to eat. someone told them ‘i heard most people gain back most of the weight after something like this’ (which is true) and its like they just refused to hear it - ‘im not gonna let that happen.’ hey, as someone who had the exact same fucking mindset when i lost a crazy amount of weight and was scared of one day gaining it back, yeah you fucking will.

and thats what sucks. is i can see how shitty this all is but im too weak to help because its all just triggering me and now i dont wanna stop so i cant make them stop cuz then id have to too. i dont want to admit my own problems yet, then they try to stop me. call me a hypocrite, i am one, i dont know what you want from me. i think ive made it pretty clear we arent very mentally well here.

so thats why im gonna post here more. i dont wanna tell anyone about it cuz i dont wanna admit how much it triggers me, and i also am sick of trauma dumping and venting to friends, so im just gonna grin and bear it and scream about it here.

im down five pounds. its nothing compared to the tens of pounds theyve lost already, but they are kinda cheating arent they so im not even gonna bother comparing. my hw was 170, it was my sw for the worst stint of my restriction. i got all the way to 129, then started antidepressants among other changes and was stuck in the 130s and scared of gaining more for a while, then actually got a little bit happy and gained up to the 150s where ive stayed ever since. i never got to loving my body, i honestly still had a super long way to go with recovering. but it was something. im 151 this morning, i really really really want to keep going. if i can end the summer and start the next semester at 140...

so yeah. ill see you guys later. this made me feel better.

i hope everyone else is having a safe summer.

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galunacycheckyourheadtour · 1 year

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Can you have imposter syndrome with your own mental health?

So today, a week after a serious mental health crisis I am feeling guilty. I am feeling guilty about going out last night, having fun and forgetting that I had a wonky head. I felt like an imposter - depressed people should be depressed, they should NOT be dancing to drum and bass for 5 hours!

Rewind to yesterday. I woke up and spent two hours trying to work out ways of getting out of a gig which I had got for my brother and sister in law for Christmas. A gig for an artist who I love more than anything and every time I have seen, has given me such joy. Also an artist who was on every playlist for my Galunacy Check Your Head Tour.

I tried to look at it curiously, what was this feeling? Got it!! ‘I did not deserve to go.’ I had not worked all week. I had barely left the flipping wardrobe all week, so why should I go? What if I had a massive panic attack or kept crying? What if? what if? what if? But I kept coming back to the same answer ‘just go, you have been looking forward to this since before lockdown, you are allowed to try to be happy’

So I put on my make up, got the train to London and met up with Giles and Sarah. We kept conversation away from my life they knew stuff had been bad. I am lucky, they know that I just prefer to keep it in until I am ready to talk - usually, once I have processed everything and come up with a plan for what’s next. I am far from that point yet.

So we had dinner, the gig was early so that was great and I had the best time. Calibre is a shared bond between the 3 of us and it was a night that we will always remember.

Then, I woke up feeling like a fraud. ‘How dare I have fun. How dare I dance and laugh. I am depressed, I am broken, I am exhausted. Am I a liar, is this all an act?!’

I thought I shouldn’t post on social media, as the last posts were ‘Wah Wah woe is me.’ I could hear people saying ‘how did things change so much in 24 hours?’ Why am I constantly trying to put myself in the heads of others? Do people even care? I am such a people pleaser, but seriously, this is next level ridiculous negative binge thinking. I don’t think anyone wants me to be unhappy or constantly post unhappy shit. The Olympic overthinker was in overdrive and heading for a gold medal 🥇.

Which got me thinking about authenticity. The only thing I promised to myself about writing this blog, it was real, it was straight out of head on to paper - no acts, no pretending. I wanted people to understand how the wonky head works, or not works in this case! Warts and all. The highs and the lows. Clinical depression is a tricky one to navigate, especially when you come out of crisis. It’s all very raw, and tentative baby steps. But just because I am recovering it does not mean I can only be sad, I am recovering…

So, I chalk this down to a win. A win because I left the house, I left the black dog at home for a bit, I distracted myself, I did something that I wanted to do, despite my head trying to tell me otherwise and launch a missile guilt attack.

Now, I need to take that win, stop the guilt and focus on the week ahead which is filled with more mental health assessment, doctors and counselling appointments. I move forward, past the open windows and start to regroup. In a place that is so much better than this time last week! Hey, I am not in a wardrobe for goodness sake, trying to claw my way through plasterboard to Narnia - so progress…I am however, currently eating Turkish Delight 🫠

#mentalhealth #mental health #mental heath support #life story #depression #mentalheathawareness

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twinkleimagines · 3 years

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frenemies

summary: You catch feelings for your nemesis Rafe Cameron and notice his change of how he started interacting with you, so you begin and hoping he feels the same, so you decide to take the risk to confront him and see what his true intentions are.

5.5k words

LONG!

Part two, part 3 , part four (final)

Warning: Language, smut, physical and verbal fighting.

Rafe Cameron.

The most loved and also the most hated Kook in the OBX.

You and your pogue friends despised this guy, or at least you were suppose to.

But for some reason, between all the bickering you two had done over the summer, you've managed to fall for him.

I know- what the fuck.

It blew your mind too. He was never nice. Always making fun of the Pogues, practically humiliating you all every chance he got. You guys were nothing but broke thieves who took whatever you wanted no matter who it hurt. You guys were scum, the dirt on the bottom of his shoe, a bunch of nobody's that will never make it anywhere in life.

Which is obviously not true, but to Rafe - that's what you ‘dirty Pogues’ were.

You didn’t care for the name calling though. You honestly could say the same thing about the Kooks. They cheat their way into life, never have to work for anything , always have mommy and daddy's money to get them through any obstacle. But you knew not all Kooks were like that. Take your best friend Kiara for example. She's a 'kook' by the book, but by the streets she’s a Full Pogue at heart.

but for some reason though, Rafe would spend most his time trying to find a way to harass the shit out of you specifically. He could have a million Pogues around him yet he always found his way through the crowd to have some conversation with you even if it was to drag your name through the mud.

You first realized the feelings you had for Rafe when you began craving his presence.

It was the annual bonfire that you and your friends had went to , a place where all teens and young adults mixed from all clicks. Tourists, Pogues, and even Kooks. Everyone was there.

You stood next to the fire with JJ and Pope, two of your closest friends as the night grew louder, more people filling in. You watched the crowds as the piled up on the sand, but your eyes roamed for Rafe himself. You were almost mad at yourself for actively searching for him. And it wasn’t even like you were looking for him so you could avoid him, but searching so you could see him and hopefully grab his attention.

You continuously questioned yourself as to Why you were looking for this jerk off to begin with. All he was going to do was put you down and try to humiliate you in front of all of your friends.

But for some reason, when your eyes landed on that tall brown headed boy, his hair for once not greased back, a wide grin on his face as he wore a black t-shirt and a red cup in his hand- your heart fluttered. You began to grin slightly, seeing him in the distance.

Despite how much of an ass hole he was, Rafe was unbelievably hot. He was toned, Tall, jaw line so sharp it could probably cut you and you could get lost in those blue eyes of his. It excited you so much when he would give you attention. Even the negative attention. At this point you just enjoyed looking at him and hearing your name flow out of his mouth.

"earth to Y/n" JJ spoke out stepping out in front of you blocking your view to Rafe, and ultimately bringing you out of your trance.

“huh” you responded dumbfounded .

“Pope thinks I’m stupid for eating food with mold on it” JJ said throwing his hands up, you grin as you watched the blonde boy try to seriously defend his theory. Pope’s eyes widened throwing his hands up as well, looking towards you for agreement.

“It’s a Fungi bro! nothing good comes from Eating mold!” Pope argued back. JJ shook his head, disagreeing with Pope’s statement .

“dude, mold is good for you ok it’s just a natural organism “ He stated, dropping his hands down to his sides.

“You’re fucking nasty” You laughed out before pushing onto JJ’s shoulder. You hadn’t realized it yet, but your laugh caught a certain boy’s attention. the moment Rafe heard that familiar tune, his head turned to your direction, his eyes focused on you as you threw your head back with laughter.

“Well well well if it isn’t Ms. Sarah Cameron “ JJ spoke as he walked up towards one of your best friend, John B, and Rafe’s younger sister, Sarah. They both looked in your direction taking a few steps away from each other as if it wasn’t obvious that they were talking.

You didn’t hate Sarah per-say, but one time she did make out with your ex boyfriend while at a party. She claimed he told her he was single and she was just looking for a good night but Sarah was known for always wanting attention so you were doubtful on the fact that she was ‘unaware’ that he was your boyfriend.

You were the only one who knew John B’s crush on Sarah. He had started working for her father after his father went missing, and you were the only one who had caught on to his different approach when Sarah was ever mentioned, or how his cheeks would go slightly red when she would walk by. You didn’t blame him, the Cameron siblings were fucking hot.

“Hi JJ’ Sarah said with a grin. You stood to the side of Pope, looking around for Kiara, only to find her sat with a group of more Pogues talking their heads off.

JJ began trying to include Sarah into his previous ‘mold is good for you’ argument while your focus drifted off, your eyes roaming the crowd once again.

You managed to look back over to where you had first saw Rafe standing, only this time he was no where to be found.

“sarah baby c’mon” you heard someone say. You looked over, Your eyes widening to see Rafe and Topper standing in front of you next to Sarah. You knew this wasn’t a group that needed to be mixed, but seeing Rafe excited you. Your eyes landed on his, your heart beginning to flutter. You hated the fact that you two were enemies. It sucked looking at someone the way you did, knowing they were only looking back at you with hatred and pure disgust. At least you thought.

“Oh c’mon Topper can’t the girl just have a little fun?” JJ laughed out, his alcohol clearly running through his veins.

“You Pogues don’t know the meaning of fun JJ” Topper laughed out. You rolled your eyes shaking your head.

“Go the fuck on Topper “ you spat out, your eyes lifting some towards Rafe before going back to Topper. You could feel yourself kicking up a sweat, maybe from the alcohol , or maybe from the fact that Rafe’s eyes were already on yours when you looked at him. He even had a smirk plastered on his face, probably from the fact he gets off on the fighting.

“Oooohhh someone’s ballsy tonight huh?” Topper laughed bringing the attention to you.

“No im just sick and tired of you stuck up kooks always trying to ruin a good time” You scoffed out, crossing your arms over chest.

“Y/n you wouldn’t know the meaning of a good time if it slapped you in the face alright?” Rafe said. He furrowed his brows together when he realized a smirk rising on your face once you looked over at him. He didn’t know what to think considering the other times you were giving him an ‘ eat shit ‘ look, but this time it was almost as if you were happy he was commenting towards you.

“Oh right, having random hook ups and snorting a line of coke every night is a good time huh Rafe?” You scoffed out sarcastly. “ yeah I think I’ll pass” You said with a roll of your eyes.

“ Listen JJ you and your little bitch need to just go back to the cut where you came from-“ you glanced at Rafe, only to see him looking at Topper with anger as if he was upset at him for calling you that , but before you could further analyze his expression, JJ pushed against Topper’s chest, slinging Topper backwards.

“you watch your mouth” JJ spat out pointing his finger towards Topper’s face. John B quickly stepped in , pulling JJ back away from Topper who was now laughing like an idiot, excited for the action that he thought was about to happen.

“Yeah go ahead Johnny boy go ahead and play dad “ Topper spat out as John B continued practically dragging JJ away from the group. “just don’t go abandoning him like your dad did ” He yelled out. Your mouth flew open in shock, seeing John B stop in his tracks but before he could even respond, your hand slapped straight across Topper’s cheek, causing his head to bounce side ways.

“go suck on your moms tits some more you fucking prick” You scowled before turning on your heals, following your friends. You didn’t even bother to stick around for anymore commentary, your only goal at this point was getting your friends the hell away from here before all hell broke loose.

“never fails man” you heard JJ screamed out in anger as you made it to the parking lot all while Pope continued trying to hush them as they stood next to the twinkie.

“JJ chill!” Pope yelled out as he tried pushing JJ into the Volkswagen but to no avail.

“no man they always get to do and say whatever the hell they want and never get any repercussions for it !” he exclaimed.

He wasn’t wrong, they really did. And if the Pogues fought back they were deemed bad and out of control. You sighed heavily as you watched JJ try to calm himself down, only to realize you had left your phone on the Log you were originally sitting at by the fire.

“Fuck I’ll be right back” You stated, only for your arm to get grabbed by John B.

“No don’t go back there” He instructed but you shook your head.

“I’ll be fine I just left my phone. “ You exclaimed before making your way back down towards the crowd of people.

“Xcuse’ me “ you mumbled as you brushed past people, making your way to the fire.

“Y/n what happened?” Kiara asked popping up from the side, placing her hand on your shoulder.

“I’ll explain later , meet you at the twinkie ok? go calm JJ down” You responded, pointing behind you with your thumb towards the van. She rolled her eyes, realizing it was a fight that had happened before turning around, making her way to your friends.

“Just can’t stay away can you?” You heard from behind you. You turn around to see none other than Rafe himself standing proudly. You rolled your eyes before turning back around, walking towards the fire once again. Despite you usually being excited to see him, tonight really put things into perspective for you.

You really were just a ‘dirty pogue’ to these guys, nothing more. There was no point to continue entertaining the thought of anything ever happening between the two of you. You were enemies, and that was all you’d ever be.

“I just came to get something Rafe go away” You huffed out.

“Oh you mean this?” He yelled out , making you stop in your track. You turned around to see Rafe holding your phone up, a wide grin plastered across his face.

“Give me that” you demanded, reaching your hand out, but Rafe pulled back, pulling it out of your reach.

“Rafe!” You yelled out with anger. “Give me my fucking phone dude” You spat out , reaching out again.

“Well what’s in it for me?” he asked , that smirk still obvious on his face.

“Rafe , please” You sighed out, dropping your shoulders slowly giving up. Between the alcohol and it being so late, you didn’t have any energy in you at this point to argue and you were just ready to go home and crash. Rafe noticed the body change in you, his grin falling from his face.

“I’m sorry” he said softly as he held out your phone to you. You were shocked. Rafe apologizing? Nobody but his father had ever heard those words coming from him so for him to say this to you really took you by surprise.

You slowly took the phone from him, your brows furrowed together in confusion.

“uhm,” you said as you pulled your arm back towards yourself. “thanks” you mumbled before turning on your heels making your way back to your friends.

“Y/n stop arguing and just do it!” Your mom yelled at you as she pushed the cleaing cart your way. You had to work with your mom today at the country club unfortunately and you were not even the slightest bit happy about it. She needed help and ‘You teenagers don’t do anything for yourselves’ as she would say, so you were stuck cleaning the floors while she did whatever it is that she does.

“Okay!” you huffed out as you picked up the broom off of the cart, aggressively beginning to sweep against the floor. You rolled your eyes as she mumbled something else to you before walking away, leaving you to clean the room alone.

It wasn’t long after that you heard some familiar voices walking down the hall way towards the room you were in. It most definitely sounded like the horrible three, Topper, Kelce and Rafe. You quickly turned your back towards the door, hoping none of them would notice you since you were alone and you against 3 just didn’t sound like a good time. You continued sweeping as you heard the group laughing as they passed the room you were in, not even paying you no mind. You sighed with relief as you realized they hadn’t noticed you and continued back to sweeping the floors.

“Hey” you heard from behind you. You jumped up gasping loudly as you turned around quickly, only to see Rafe himself standing there .

“God – fuck Rafe you scared the shit out of me. “ You breathed out, your hand over your chest as you tried to calm your heart beat down.

“sorry” he responded. There was that word again that didn’t exist in Rafe’s dictionary. You caught yourself staring before you quickly snapped yourself out of your trance, placing your hand on your hip.

“What do you want Rafe?” You scoffed out. He smirked before walking over to one of the Desks that sat in the room. You watched as he sat down on the edge, grinning as he stared over at you.

“ Never seen you here before.” He stated. You rolled your eyes before you propped your elbow up on your broom, sighing heavily.

“my mom works here. I’m just helping” You exclaimed, not that it was any of his business anyway.

“Huh” He responded nodding his head. He kept quiet once again, leaving the room silent and you beyond confused. You eventually shook your head at him, indicating for him to continue, but he didn’t.

“Look Rafe “ you started, standing yourself up straight. “I have to get back to work so unless you’re here for something important, you can go the fuck on” you finished. Rafe hopped off the edge of the desk, taking a few steps towards you , his body now hovering over yours. You began to feel your heart pound again, this time from the nerves as he stood so close to you. The smell of his cologne, grass and sweat from his Golfing lingering in your nose. you felt your hands begin getting clammy as you tried to hold your composer, your breath hitched in the back of your throat.

Rafe slowly lifted his hands, placing it under your chin, his blue eyes focused on yours. You didn’t know what to do at this point. You’ve had one on one Arguments with rafe before but none where he stood this close, and this quiet with you.

“Rafe” You breathed out as he lifted your chin, your face close together. He grinned once again, leaning in closer to you.

“You’re so beautiful” He said softly. You stared back into his blue eyes for a second before leaning in slightly. You were taken back though as he let go of your face , taking a step back and putting his hands in his pockets.

“ see ya” He responded calmy before walking back out of the room, following back to his friends.

You stood in shock, confused by Rafes actions. You were for sure positive that he was going to kiss you but he didn’t.

“what the fuck?” you mumbled before shaking your head in confusion at Rafe’s actions. You sighed heavily before sweeping your broom across the floor again, trying to regain your compose.

Most of your day went on like normal. You finished work with your mom, your mind only focused on your brief conversation you had with Rafe earlier.

It sucked because you had feelings towards Rafe, and you couldn’t tell if you were overthinking his actions or if he actually was in to you as well.

You had come to a conclusion though- it was one of two options. He was either fucking with you, or he wanted to fuck you. And you were determined to find out by tonight.

“Here goes nothing” You sighed to yourself as you stood outside TannyHill, the outside lights lighting up the big white house. You quickly jumped over the concrete fence, your feet landing in the wet grass.

Your eyes roamed the balcony, trying to remember which area you had seen Rafe standing at before. You bit your bottom lip as you concentrated, only to see Rafe himself walk by one of the windows.

“gotcha” You spoke softly before crouching down some, doing a quick jog across the field in hopes no one would see you.

You quickly managed to climb your way up the house onto the balcony you had just recently seen Rafe at. This was one of the pro’s of being a Pogue. You guys were very athletic and could always find your way to anything no matter the obstacles. You stood catching your breath as your feet finally landed on the wooden floor, the area barely lit by the light from the windows.

“What the fuck am I doing?” You said to yourself as you stood in the dark outside of what looked to be Rafe’s bedroom. You ran your hands through your hair, turning back around to face the field.

“What the fuck am I doing?” you said to yourself again as you began pacing. This is Rafe we’re talking about. Of course this man is just fucking with you. He’s been nothing but a dick to you and your friends for years. why in God’s name would he want you now? You knew you weren’t’ ugly. You were in shape, had decent hair (Even though you probably smelt like sweat sometimes because of how much you spent outside with the gang) But for the most part you cleaned up well.

Plenty of guys wanted you- but you looked nothing like any of the rich girls Rafe hooked up with. Why would he ever want you? It was clear that he was only acting this way towards you so him and his friends could have a good laugh later.

You shook your head in disbelief that you even had the balls to climb this guys house and actually think you could even ask him if he was interested in you. You began to climb back over before you heard a door open. You froze instantly, hoping they wouldn’t see you in the dark but that was just wishful thinking.

“Y/n?” You heard someone say. You mumbled a ‘ fuck’ as you recognized the voice to be Rafe.

“Uhm” You replied awkwardly as you climbed down, turning towards him to face him.

“Care to explain?” He asked throwing his hand up in your direction.

“Uhh” You said awkwardly as you ran your hand through your hair before placing them down your side.

“Y/n what the fuck are you doing climbing up my house at fucking 11 at night” he spat out. You flinched slightly at the harsh tone of his voice, your eyes roaming everywhere but his face , afraid to look at him in humiliation.

“okay so” you started, looking down at your feet. You stood for a second, wondering how you were going to explain yourself without sounding like ta total creep.

“Alight fuck it. “ you breathed out, looking up at Rafe. “You’ve been acting weird towards me, and being all like nice and flirty one minute and a complete ass the next and like – I just need clarification “ You exclaimed before you took in a deep breath, staring at Rafe as you waited for a response. You bit your bottom lip as he continued staring at you with a blank expression.

“Well?” You repeated, but he stayed quiet. You rolled your eyes, annoyed with the mind games he continued to play. “Rafe what is it? You like me or are you like fucking with me?” You spat out in frustration.

He finally changed his expression, this time a cocky smirk forming on his face. He reached out, grabbing one of your hands before walking backwards, leading you to follow him into his bedroom.

“uhh Rafe?” You questioned, confusion written all over your face as his eyes continued staring into yours.

“I’m not explaining myself” He finally spoke, his hair draped over his eyes as he looked down at you. You scrunched your face up as he reached behind you, closing the patio door. He chuckled slightly at your confusion before taking a step back away from you. “I’m just gonna show you” He exclaimed before pulling against your arm, leading you towards the bed before pushing against your shoulder, making you flop down. Your eyes widened as he walked over towards you, a smirk never leaving his face as his hand reached up, pushing away the stray hair in your face.

“You know, I’ve wanted to fuck you for quite sometime” He stated, leaning forward. “I mean look at you,-“ his eyes looked down and then back up your body, landing back onto your eyes, “You’re hot as fuck” He responded. You didn’t have a clue on what to say, so you continued in the same spot , sitting on his bed propped up on your hands behind you.

“You know for a pogue,” He finished, chucking as you rolled your eyes at his comment.

“Why didn’t you say anything ?” You finally spoke, looking up at him through your lashes. His cocky smirk left his face, only to return shortly after.

“Had to make sure the feelings mutual.” He replied , standing back up straight.

“and Who said it was?” You asked , trying to build your confidence back up. Rafe’s smirk widened before he let out a chuckle, his finger pointed out towards the balcony you were just climbing a few minutes ago.

“You did” he replied . you lowered your head some without responding, knowing he wasn’t wrong. HE stared down at you for a few seconds before he leaned in, the tip of his nose touching yours.

“Rafe” You breathed out as he stayed teasingly close.

“Hm” he hummed, not moving his face.

“Just fucking kiss me already” You demanded. Rafe happily obliged, his lips colliding with yours. Your hands immediately made their way to the back of his head, tugging on his hair.

“You wanna lay down for me ?” He asked after a few minutes of your tongues fighting for dominance. You didn’t respond other than nodding before you slowly laid yourself down, your eyes not leaving Rafe’s. Rafe grinned before unbuttoning your shorts, tugging on them. You lifted your hips up from the bed, helping him slide your shorts down as your teeth clamped down around your bottom lip. He stared at your hot pink panties, seeing the darkened area as you were already soaked.

“Soaking wet and I haven’t even touched you” He indicated. You felt heat rise to your cheeks as attempted to lower your head in embarrassment even though he could see you. Your mouth flew open as Rafe leaned down, pressing open-mouthed kisses against your damp panties, applying friction against your clit. You moaned out, leaning your head back as he placed the palm of his hand against you, rubbing up and down at a slow pace.

“Does that feel good?” He asked, his voice low and deep. You bit your bottom lip before nodding your head. Rafe grinned before he tugged on your panties, pulling them down to your ankles.

“Spread your legs open baby” He demanded , his voice calming but deep and intimidating.

You grinned before slowly spreading them open, his eyes focused on your heated core the whole time.

You laid your back flat against his bed as he got down on his knees, pulling you by your hips down to the edge of the bed, your bottom hanging off directly across his face .

“Rafe” You moaned out as you felt his warm tongue glide along your slit, his tongue stopping against your clit before he enclosed his lips, sucking slightly. He wiggled his tongue back and forth as his inserted his two index fingers into you, curving upwards. You gripped your hands against his navy blue sheets, gasping loudly as his fingers hit against your g-spot, sending tingling feelings through your body.

Rafe took one of his hands and trailed it up your stomach under your crop top, his hand groping around breasts.

You continued moaning loudly as his finger tips swirled around your nipples while his other hand continued moving rapidly against you, his eyes looking up at you in admiration.

Rafe lifted himself up, his face close to yours as his fingers continued moving inside you.

Y/n” he called out softly causing you to open your eyed and look over at him.

He placed his lips against yours as he slowly grinded himself against your side, pushing his rock hard shaft against you.

“You wanna do this?” He breathed out as he looked down at you, the pace of his fingers slowing down. You nodded looking up at him, your heart nearly pounding out of your chest.

“Yes Rafe” you practically whined out. Rafe moved himself to where he was hovering over you, his lips placed against your neck as he pulled his joggers down some, his member popping against his abs. You breathed out deeply as you watched him line himself up before slowly sliding himself in.

“ fuck” He groaned out as he felt your walls wrap tightly against him. Rafe was not only long, but he was thick all the way around, filling you more than anyone had ever done before. You placed your arms around his neck, holding him close as he began moving his hips against you.

The room was silent, only the sounds of your deep breathing and small groaning from Rafe as he continued rocking his hips in you at a steady pace, one hand placed above your head as the other gripped tightly under your thigh to hold your leg up.

“Rafe go harder” You pleaded. Rafe instead stopped his movements completely before rolling you over onto your stomach. He pulled slightly against your hips causing your bottom to stick up in the air as your face was pressed into the bed.

You gasped loudly as Rafe inserted himself into you again from behind, the new position giving him access to going deeper in you, which was exactly what he did. You felt his hand land on the back of your head, pressing you deeper into the bed as he began grinding his hips deep into you. He began slow at first but then began giving you exactly what you wanted , slamming himself into you over and over again.

At this point the pleasure was overwhelming and you couldn’t hold the moaning in as he continued rocking his hips into you, the sound of skin slapping echoing the room.

“Fuck im gonna cum” Rafe groaned out deeply in your ear, the feeling of your tight warm walls around him bringing him close to his own climax. He began placing sloppy kisses on your back, his pace speeding up. You arched your back feeling yourself clench around him as you orgasmed, your clit pulsing. You whined out, tugging on his sheets as Rafe continued to pound into you, riding out your high.

“Fuck y/n “ Rafe groaned out as he quickly pulled out, pumping himself off shooting his load on your back.

You both stayed in the same position for a few more minutes as you tried catching your breath before Rafe grabbed a napkin from his nightstand, wiping your back off.

You rolled over, laying on your back as Rafe put his bottoms back On before looking back over at you out of breath. You grinned as your eyes roamed his glistening body, his abs very prominent and his hair stuck to his forehead from sweat.

“ You should’ve definitely came to me sooner” you finally spoke out with a giggle. He sat down on the edge if the bed chuckling slightly.

“Yeah, that was nice. “ He responded. The room became silent, you both just sitting awkwardly while you laid on his bed still naked. After a moment of silence, you finally sat up, pulling his top sheet with you while getting up off the bed.

“Soo” You said awkwardly as you wrapped the sheet over your sweaty body.

“you can use the front door ” He responded looking up at you. You almost wanted to slap him at this point, realizing he was indicating for you to leave. You scoffed while rolling your eyes before turning away, picking your clothing up off the floor.

“What?” He asked as he continued sitting on the edge of the bed, noticing you aggressively picking your clothes up in anger.

“Nothing Rafe” you mumbled as you pulled your shorts back up up your legs, turning your back towards him.

“Hey” He responded standing up, grabbing your hand after you pulled your top over your head.

“What” You replied back, looking up at him with anger.

“I wasn’t saying you had to leave now I was just saying you didn’t have to climb down the house again” He exclaimed. You stood for a second before shaking your head.

“I should go anyways, it’s late” You replied before walking over towards your shoes, sliding them on over you feet. “but don’t worry I’ll take the balcony so no one sees me”. Rafe wanted to reply to your comment but instead he stayed quiet as he watched you make your way back to his balcony before stopping, leaving your hand on the doorknob.

“Uhm” You spoke , causing him to look up at you. “I’ll see you later?” You stated, more like questioned just for your own clarification. He grinned before nodding his head, walking towards you. He walked you out to the balcony, helping you over the edge before watching you climb down to the ground to make sure you made it down safely.

You did a light jog back towards the concrete wall before turning around, looking up at the balcony. You grinned when you saw him still standing there watching you. You gave him a wave before turning on your feet, climbing back over the fence and going home.

***

Sorry I’ve been incognito for a while but ya girl is back 🥲

Also,

✨As always feedback, like, and a reblog is always appreciated ! ✨

Masterlist

#drew starkey #obx #drew starkey fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #drew starkey imagine #rafe cameron imagine #smut #obx fiction #drew starkey dirty imagine #drew starkey smut #rafe cameron dirty imagine #Rafe Cameron dirty fix #Rafe Cameron smut #obx smut #obx dirty imagine #obx dirty fic

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guqin-and-flute · 3 years

Text

Episode 73: Koala Chlamydia Is A Problem [My Brothers, My Sister and Me Excerpt]

[MBMSAM AU] [First Installment] [Podfics!] [Ao3 Link]

[COVER ART BY THE FANTASTIC LITTLESMARTART]

Jin Zixuan: Do we want another question?

Qin Su: Sure, yeah, got one right here. 'When I was younger, I was really skinny and weak'--hey! Hey, now, negative body talk, much! That's super judgmental of yourself!

Mo Xuanyu: And of us people who are skinny and weak right now! [teasing] Right, Yao-gege?

Meng Yao: [calmly] I'm not affiliated with you.

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [cackles]

Qin Su: 'When I was a kid, I was really skinny and weak, so I made it my mission to get as jacked as possible so people would take me seriously. I put in a lot of hard work, changed my exercise routine and diet and it worked. But now, as an adult I'm a 6 foot 7 dude--'

Jin Zixuan: [incredulous] 6 foot 7 ?

Qin Su: Just a mountain of a man. '--6 foot 7 dude with serious muscle mass--'

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [sotto voce] Good God .

Qin Su: '-- and a pretty intense resting face. I routinely make children cry just by existing and everyone shoots me nervous looks in the grocery store. It gets to me sometimes. I’m not a bad guy! I just look scary. What are some ways that I can make myself less intimidating?’

Mo Xuanyu: Huh.

Qin Su: I mean, let’s see...puppies are unintimidating. Can you devise a system where you carry a few around with you at all times? Maybe in some saddle bags, everywhere you go?

Mo Xuanyu: The movies, the gym, on dates… .

Jin Zixuan: Sure, until they start pissing down your legs. Then you’re not just unintimidating, you’re the guy no one wants to stand next to at the bus stop.

Meng Yao: I mean, it still does the job, doesn’t it?

Mo Xuanyu: You could get a butterfly tattoo, like, directly on your forehead.

Meng Yao: Okay, please explain to me your thought process on how exactly that would make anyone more approachable.

Qin Su: They still want to be able to navigate human society, A-Yu.

Mo Xuanyu: Ew, why?

Jin Zixuan: Let’s see...what makes someone approachable….Who is the least intimidating of all of us?

Qin Su: [immediately] You.

Meng Yao: [affirming] Mm.

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [incredulous] What?

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: Oh yeah, you’re like...you’re like a poodle. Or a--

Jin Zixuan: [highly offended] Excuse me! I'm the oldest and definitely the tallest one here!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [ill concealed snort]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: [pityingly] Oh, da- ge .

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: Or a golden retriever.

Qin Su: Please don't tell me you think that being tall translates into you actually being scary. You’re tallest by, like, 3 inches. At most, that’s just part of the equation of being scary.

Meng Yao: And the rest of Zixuan’s equation is just filled with collared polo shirts. Which absolutely tanks the intimidation ratio.

Mo Xuanyu: That doesn't tank yours, though.

Meng Yao: I wear button downs. It’s not the same. [Vaguely disgusted undertone] Collared polos.

Jin Zixuan: Excuse you, polos are weekend wear and there is nothing wrong-- I can be intimidating!

Qin Su: [doubtfully] Ehhhhh…

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [badly stifled snickers]

[crosstalk]Jin Zixuan: I can! Just because I’ve never had to intimidate you --

Qin Su: Let's just say; citation needed

Mo Xuanyu: Please, jiejie has you beat.

Jin Zixuan: [indignant] Wha--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: He's right, gege; an unopened jar of mayonnaise has you beat. And I'm no unopened jar of mayonnaise.

Mo Xuanyu: That shit is opened .

Meng Yao: That’s a Tinder profile quote.

Qin Su: What? 'Spicier than mayo?'

Mo Xuanyu: [half singing, half chanting] ‘My mayo brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like-- [normal voice] this is really underwhelming.’

Meng Yao: [musing] ‘Saltier than soy sauce, spicier than mayo….’

Qin Su: Why do we always come back to food? Are our Skype calls haunted by starving Victorian ghost children? Are we possessed?

Mo Xuanyu: [mournful, high pitched, bad British accent] ‘My name is Bartholemew and I’m starving. Please, spare some mayo.’

Meng Yao: It’s your own fault if none of you bother to eat before we record. You all had the schedule.

Mo Xuanyu: [crunches loudly near mic]

Meng Yao: [falsely happy] Hey, thanks! Thank you so much, A-Yu, love the level spike on that one. Editing mouth noises out of our podcast makes my day brighter.

Jin Zixuan: [under his breath] Just...unbelievable….You all….

Qin Su: [smiling] I think we broke him.

Meng Yao: [laughing] Zixuan is limping behind the conversation indignantly, brandishing his cane….

Mo Xuanyu: [sympathetically] Awww.

Jin Zixuan: I--! I am a high powered businessman! I am trained in martial arts and archery and swordsmanship --

Mo Xuanyu: [mouth full] Oh please, gege, you’re a pod caster.

Jin Zixuan: [forcefully] I am a CEO--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: [ignoring him] I think Yao-gege is somehow the most and least intimidating out of all of us at the same time, if we're all being completely honest with ourselves and our place in the world.

Mo Xuanyu: Aww, I thought I was at least a contender!

Qin Su: Honey, you're feral. There's a difference.

Mo Xuanyu: What does a kid have to do around here to be intimidating?

Meng Yao: Learn how to chew with your mouth closed, for one.

Jin Zixuan: [indignantly] A-Yao? Are you not going to deny this?

[Brief silence]

Meng Yao: [calmly] I don't think I'm scary.

Qin Su & Mo Xuanyu: [instant uproarious laughter]

Jin Zixuan: Oh, come on! He's like...a little koala bear or something! How is that scary!

Meng Yao: [offended] Excuse me--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [still laughing] I’m gonna pee --

Meng Yao: -- koalas have smooth brains and eat poisonous leaves all day. Are you calling me a poisonous idiot bear?

Qin Su: [wheezes] Only in private.

Mo Xuanyu: [laughter trailing off] Wait, wait, hold on. Don’t all koalas have chlamydia or something?

Qin Su: [renewed laughter]

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [startled laugh] What?

Mo Xuanyu: Chlamydia! I think that I read--!

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Oh my god, I think I’ve actually heard that. The plague, the bubonic plague, isn’t it? Or that--Some sort of--that disease people used to get where bits of you fall off?

Qin Su: Beheadings?

Meng Yao: [voice strangled from laughter] Yes, A-Su, that ancient disease the French Revolution that all koalas have--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [snickering]

Mo Xuanyu: [loud and close to mic] LEPROSY .

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Ow--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Holy shit--

Mo Xuanyu: It’s leprosy and you’re thinking of armadillos, da-ge.

Jin Zixuan: [muttering] Aren’t we all….

Qin Su: [solemnly] Armadillos and guillotines. Every damn minute of every damn day.

Mo Xuanyu: And I googled it, I’m right; koala chlamydia is a problem.

Meng Yao: And we’ve just found the title of this episode.

Qin Su: If most koalas have chlamydia, I feel like they have other problems they have to deal with.

Mo Xuanyu: Those pesky, promiscuous koalas!

Qin Su: Get them some damn sex ed! Use those eucalyptus leaves for protection!

Meng Yao: [pleasantly] That’s just about the worst thing I’ve heard all day.

Mo Xuanyu: Eugh, that menthol, though. Like Vicks for your dicks!

Meng Yao: I hate it.

[crosstalk]Jin Zixuan: [pained] PSA: don’t do that. Ever.

Qin Su: The voice of experience?

Jin Zixuan: I don’t think you actually want an answer to that, meimei.

Meng Yao: You people make me hate learning and also knowing things.

Mo Xuanyu: Also I've been looking it up and mountain lions are the ones that can have the bubonic plague.

Meng Yao: Choose your fighter; chlamydia ridden koala, leprosy ridden armadillo, or mountain lion with the Black Death.

Qin Su: Well, at least the mountain lion could inflict some damage. Use it like a poison delivery system, like an anthrax letter to secretly infect people.

Meng Yao: [patient teacher tone] ‘A mountain lion is to an anthrax letter, like a koala is to a…?’

Qin Su: [mock frustration] Oh, man, I know this one….

Mo Xuanyu: 'I can't come into school today, I got attacked by a mountain lion.'

Qin Su: [acting concerned] 'Oh my God, are you okay? Are you gonna have scars?'

Mo Xuanyu: 'Worse. The Plague .'

Jin Zixuan: Okay, glad we got our animal infections all sorted out--back to what we were talking about. So, riddle me this--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [delighted, Riddlemancer voice] Rrrriddle Me Piss, kids--!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao & Qin Su: NO!

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Oh my god --

Mo Xuanyu: [laughing] I don't actually have anything today--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: A blessing .

Mo Xuanyu: --but I'll get you next time.

Jin Zixuan: No, I need to know, genuinely, this is not a bit-- why do you think A-Yao scarier than me?

Qin Su: I mean, what's not scary about a smooth brained bear full of toxins and chlamydia?

Meng Yao: [disgruntled] Uh huh.

Mo Xuanyu: Technically, they’re not bears, they're marsupials! And I think Yao-gege is more of an armadillo--hard on the outside--

[slight crosstalk] Qin Su: --And full of leprosy on the inside.

Meng Yao: [further from mic, keyboard tapping] 'And to Mo Xuanyu...and Qin Su...I leave... absolutely nothing, except...this bag of dog shit and...spiders…..'

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [laughing]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Awww, A-Yu, we're being written out of his will again!

Jin Zixuan: Listeners, am I wrong? Am I crazy? He’s the size of a toddler--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: [still away from mic, keyboard tapping] ‘And to Jin Zixuan...I leave--’

Jin Zixuan: He looks like a sugar glider baby that got turned into a human man--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: ‘This box...of useless...tetanus filled screws….’

Qin Su: Da-ge--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: ‘--that i...encourage him to use…--’

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [snickering]

Meng Yao: ‘As acupuncture needles.’ There. Sent to the notary. Now, what were we talking about, again?

Qin Su: Da-ge, all those things might be true--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [flatly] Wow.

Qin Su: But here’s a test. What would you do to someone picking on A-Yu in school?

Jin Zixuan: [immediate, sounding businesslike and slightly aggressive] I would contact their parents and set up a meeting with the school officials and make it very clear that they are never to do that again.

Qin Su: [grinning] Okay. Yao-gege, what would you do to someone picking on A-Yu in school?

Meng Yao: [calmly] Absolutely nothing you could prove in a court of law.

Mo Xuanyu: [bursts out laughing]

[crosstalk] Qin Su: I mean--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Uhhhh--

Qin Su: You see? Also-- [quick sing-song voice] 🎵 This is a joke, for legal reasons, this is a joke 🎵 [normal voice] He’s got that--that--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [lingering laughter] Yeah, it's that menace. Da-ge, you’re like--you’re like if a duckling--okay, you remember when I brought you to Hot Topic? You were like a duckling at a Death Metal concert.

Jin Zixuan: [defensively] The music was so loud--

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [pityingly] Oh, Zixuan.

Qin Su: You're like if a golf course got turned into a human.

Meng Yao You're what would happen if you gave mac and cheese a social security card and keys to a lamborghini.

Jin Zixuan: [unamused] Okay.

Mo Xuanyu: [laughing] You're the lightly salted almonds of people.

Qin Su: You're like a wholesome Hallmark movie fucked the concept of the suburbs.

Jin Zixuan: [unamused] Sure. Sure.

Meng Yao: You emanate the peril of a box of lethargic kittens.

Jin Zixuan: Wow. My own family. This is coming from the physical manifestation of a My Chemical Romance song--

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: [smug] You say that like it’s a bad thing.

Jin Zixuan: -- and the woman who cries at the Land Before Time every time she watches it. I think this is a case of glass houses, here. Let ye who are intimidating...

Qin Su: Oh, so we’re not roasting Yao-gege back?

Meng Yao: Not sure how me being compared to a STD riddled marsupial for about 5 minutes straight escaped your notice, A-Su, but alright.

Jin Zixuan: I feel that you are all being...heinously short sighted, here. Are you seriously trying to tell me that A-Yu is scarier than me, a full grown man?

Meng Yao: I would certainly be more warranted in my concern about him stabbing me than I would about you.

Mo Xuanyu: Oh my God, gege, that was like 5 years ago and I already said I was sorry--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: [loudly] What--

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Did we actually help this person? I mean--

Mo Xuanyu: We always help, jiejie.

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: Hold on--

Qin Su: We learned a lot about exactly how disturbing the animal kingdom is, but….

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: No, go back--

[slight crosstalk] Meng Yao: Dress like a middle aged accountant, share minion memes on Facebook, and buy your son a puppy so you have an excuse to talk to the dog and not people. There you go. Done.

Jin Zixuan: No, rewind--Xuanyu, you stabbed our brother?

[brief silence]

Qin Su: [brightly] Well, that's going to do it for us today, folks--!

Jin Zixuan: A-Yu!

[crosstalk] Mo Xuanyu: It was only a little!

Jin Zixuan: How can you stab someone a little ?!

[crosstalk] Qin Su: Thank you so much for listening in this week--

Jin Zixuan: With what ? Why?!

Mo Xuanyu: It honestly wasn’t that bad, he made it sound like--

[crosstalk] Jin Zixuan: That's not an answer --

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [begins laughing]

Jin Zixuan: A-Yao--!

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [still laughing]

Qin Su: [brightly] We hope you enjoyed our enlightening romp, here! We want to thank Sister Sledge for the use of the song We Are Family. A-Yu, how about that last Yahoo?

[crosstalk] Meng Yao: [farther from mic, clearly grinning] Ohhh, boy.

Mo Xuanyu: Okay, okay--anonymous Yahoo Answers user asks….[exaggerated, desperate voice] ‘I can’t afford a freezer. Where do I put my deer meat?’

[Outro music begins quietly]

Qin Su: [laughs] I’m Qin Su.

Jin Zixuan: [sighs, disgruntled] I’m Jin Zixuan.

Meng Yao: [grinning] I’m Meng Yao.

Mo Xuanyu: [sheepish] I’m Mo Xuanyu.

Qin Su: And this has been My Brothers, My Sister, And Me! Thank you to everyone, see you next week and remember; send your trash dad straight to jail!

#my stuff #my fic #mbmsam #au #modern au #jgy #jzx #mxy #qs #text #ALSO THANK YOU LITTLE-SMARTASS FOR THE IDEA FOR THE THEME SONG I added that on the AO3 version because I FORGOT

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peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology · 3 years

Note

Could you do something about going to your school reunion with Tom and your kids and you’re pregnant again or something. Thank you xx

Cute!! Yes of course babes, hope you like it! Feel free to keep seeing in requests guys xx

Reunion

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: You’re not feeling the good the night of your reunion

Masterlist

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⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

“Do we have to go?” Tom groaned.

“Yes,” (y/n) nodded, “I want to show off my hot husband and my cute kids, so we’re going.”

He rolled his eyes, “You can do that online.”

“We’re going,” she squeezed his shoulder calling up the staircase, “Kids! Dinner’s ready!”

Their five year old son came sprinting down the stairs first, followed my their three year old daughter, who was much slower as she navigated the stairs mostly by scooting down them. (y/n) plucked her up when she reached the bottom of the stairs, setting her in a booster seat so she could read the table.

“Are you going to be good for your uncles tonight?”

She nodded, “Yeah.”

“And you’ll make sure your brother is good too?”

She giggled and nodded while he frowned, “Hey!”

(y/n) ruffled his hair with a smile, “I just wanna make sure you two are gonna be perfect little angels while we’re gone.”

“You better be,” Tom threatened as placed a plate in front of each of them, “Mommy and I have a lot of kissing to do tonight so we can’t be coming home for any meltdowns.”

Their son cringed while their daughter giggled, “Tom,” (y/n) pinched his side.

He smirked and kissed her cheek, “Sit down love, I’ll get your food.”

She sat opposite the kids, making faces at them until Tom sat the food in front of her. One look at the plate if plain pasta and broccoli had her sick. She’d been nauseous for a few days, and even without the pasta sauce the meal seemed too much.

“What’s wrong?” Tom frowned at her.

“Just my stomach,” she pushed the plate away and stood up, “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom.”

“You two can eat, I’m gonna help mommy,” Tom smile to the kids before getting up from the table, he wrapped an arm around his wife, trying to help however he could, “Maybe we should stay home.”

She shook her head, “I’m fine, it’s probably just food poisoning or something.”

“Are you sure?” he frowned.

She nodded, “I’m fine.”

Tom held her hair while she emptied her guts into the stomach, rubbing her back and trying to convince her to stay home. She had refused though, instating opting to just sit on the couch while they ate. The kids had dotted on her while Tom did the dishes, until their uncles arrived and sick or not, their parents were no longer interesting enough to keep their attention.

“You okay?” Harry raised a brow at (y/n), his niece already thrown over his shoulder in a fit of giggles.

She nodded, “Just a little sick.”

“I don’t think we’ll be out long,” Tom offered her his hand with a frown, “I’m sure she’ll want to come home quick.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted, leaning on him as she stood.

“Last time mommy was sick I got a sister,” their son giggled as Sam lifted him off the ground, “I want a brother this time.”

The adults all froze, everyone stared at (y/n) with wide eyes, “No, no, I’m not pregnant,” she shook her head, “It’s not as bad as it was with either of the kids.”

“You two need to start wrapping it up,” Sam scolded, “We can barely manage the two of them.”

Tom rolled his eyes and passed (y/n) her purse, “I think you’ll survive.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Things had only gotten worse after they arrived at the school, (y/n) tried to stay positive while she caught up with old friends, but it was obvious to Tom that she wasn’t feeling well at all. He was dwelling on what their son had said, despite her certainty that it wasn’t anything serious. Both of them were a bit unsure whether or not they wanted another kid, and while they hadn’t been trying, they hadn’t been doing anything to prevent it, figuring it would just happen if it happened.

“Tom,” (y/n) grabbed his arm with a frown, “We’ve gotta go home, I can’t stay here all night.”

He nodded, “Alright, we can go home.”

“Thanks,” she leaned on him on their way out, “Don’t say anything though, I still had fun, and I know you liked it too.”

He laughed as he helped her back into the car, “I won’t rub it in your face until you aren’t sick anymore.”

She rolled her eyes, “Shove it Holland.”

“Unless you aren’t sick,” he hummed.

“Of course I’m sick,” she shot him a glare.

“You sure,” he glanced towards her stomach, “I mean it’s possible.”

She groaned, “No, not another summer pregnancy Tom.”

“I’m just saying it could be, I know you said it doesn’t feel the same, but I mean, no harm in taking a test right?”

“No,” she sighed, “Let’s pick some up.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

“You guys are back early,” Harry commented as the couple returned home.

“Yeah, she’s not feeling well,” Tom rubbed her stomach with a frown, “We’ll be right back.”

Tom helped her up to their room, only to be left there alone so she could pee. He paced the floor anxiously while he waited for her, excited butterflies starting to flutter in his stomach. When she finally opened the door he froze, just waiting for her to say anything.

“It’s got to sit for another minute,” she sighed, “You wanna come watch it with me?”

He nodded, pushing right past her to peak at the small test sitting on the table, “How long?”

“Another minute or so,” she hummed, “Excited?”

“Yeah, I mean I know we’ve been on the fence about it but I’d be really happy to have another,” he kissed her head, pulling her into his chest, “I think the kids would be excited too.”

She nodded, “We should keep trying if it’s negative.”

“Hey, I’m down to try whenever you want,” he teased.

She laughed, “Yeah, I know you are.”

“And if you are we can celebrate,” he hummed, eyes still locked on the small sticks, “Look there’s one.”

“And...” she leaned in, “Holy shit.”

“Oh my God,” Tom squeezed her waist as a big smile overtook his face, “You’re pregnant!” he exclaimed excitedly.

“Okay calm down, we still have to go to the doctor,” she reminded, turning to face him, “But I’ve never had a false positive before...”

“I love you,” Tom pressed his lips to hers and squeezed her against him with a laugh. “Woah, careful, I’m still sick,” she laughed, “Don’t shake me around too much Tom.”

He nuzzled his nose against hers with a smile, “You’re perfect you know that?”

She rolled her eyes before an excited squealing broke them apart, “Mommy!” their son threw himself at her, latching onto her leg with a smile, “Up!”

“Be gentle with your mom, she’s still sick,” Tom lifted him up with a frown, “How’d you get in here huh? I thought your uncles were watching you.”

“He’s fast,” Sam huffed, following him into the room, “Sorry.”

“Yeah yeah,” Tom ruffled the boys hair, “What do you need you little monster?”

“I just wanted to see mom,” he blushed, “I thought she wouldn’t be sick anymore.”

“She’ll be sick for awhile,” he hummed in response.

Sam knit his brow, looking to (y/n) before his eyes landed on the counter, “Wait, wait, wait, are you actually pregnant?”

(y/n) groaned while their son went wide eyed, “Come on Sam.”

He blushed, “Sorry...”

“Mommy’s pregnant?” their son stared at Tom, waiting for an answer.

“Um, probably,” Tom responded.

“Tom!” (y/n) snapped.

“What? He asked.”

“I might be pregnant,” (y/n) confirmed, “We don’t know yet though.”

“Mommy’s pregnant!” he kicked his way out of Tom’s arms and went sprinting down the hall, screaming the whole way.

(y/n) sighed, “You two are dead.”

“Sorry love,” Tom kissed her head with a smile, “Look if it turns out you aren’t we’ll just keep trying until you are.”

“Ew,” Sam gagged while Tom laughed. The kids came sprinting right back into the room, Harry following behind them now, trying his best but failing to catch up.

“Mommy are you pregnant?” their daughter looked up at her hopefully, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

(y/n) dropped to her knees in front of her, “We don’t know for sure yet sweetie, but maybe.”

“Can I see it?”

She laughed, “No, it’ll be inside of me for a long time first.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it’s gonna stay in my tummy for awhile so it can get a bit bigger.”

“Woah,” she mumbled, staring at her mothers stomach in disbelief, “How’s it gonna come out of there?”

“A doctor will take it out.”

“Woah,” she repeated before leaning in close to her stomach before poking it.

“You have to be gentle,” her brother scolded, “And nice too, it can hear you talking.”

“Hi baby,” she giggled.

The kids continued cooing at her stomach while Tom sat down besides her and dotted kisses over her shoulder, “Much better than a reunion ey?”

She laughed, letting her head fall on his shoulder, “Much.”

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kikyan · 3 years

Note

Thank you for all your work! For the Obey Me boys, could I request some hcs for all of them with a Plus Size!Reader?

OMG OFC YOU CAN!! As someone who is also plus size, it’s nice to see that people are requesting this! This leaned a bit more on the insecurities and struggles that we tend to face because you know people always have smth to say and comment even when we didn’t ask for them. Those reminders that pop in last minute because it’s a rough life. Idk, I was just hella depressed a couple days ago because of this but this lowkey cheered me up!

Lucifer

He worries a lot and takes on multiple responsibilities, but one of them is to take care of you and remind you how much he loves you for you. If this was based on appearance I can most DEFINITELY assure you that obey me would be a short game with little to no character developments and I stand by that comment. Lucifer was the last one whom we got a contract with but he was one where we fully impressed him and reached out to him.

He cares a lot about you, you helped him see things from a different perspective and relatively are living proof that he did not fail his sister or brothers. He did good, his hard work paid off. He isn't a failure. He'll do the same to you. If you ever felt upset or insecure, he'd remind you of your worth. There is no price because you are priceless. You're his greatest treasure and he loves you.

He'd love and appreciate hugs and cuddles because they feel so comforting. So much to love and so much to hold, you do things to him you know. Anyone dare talk shit or say some mean and rude things? He's on the way to scold them and make them eat those words because here they are, judging one without really knowing them.

Mammon

He'd pull stunts for you to scold him and then cuddle him afterwards because hugs >>>Mammon, being the sweet little tsundere he is and your first will always be around you. He wouldn't treat you any different than he would any other person, but here is a sad headcanon because I enjoy making myself cry. He could care less what others say and think of him, even his own brothers. He won't let anyone say anything bad about you though, not his brother, Lucifer, anyone. He doesn't want you to experience what he does constantly so he would do anything to make it all go away.

Someone spreads a rumor about you? He'd literally risk expulsion by fighting someone over rude comments or risk losing whatever money he has to ensure that those hurtful comments go away. It's sad because it's the 'I rather be hurt than let others be hurt' concept.

It hurts because I have that same concept and while it hurts me so much, it's the pure joy that we get when we see the ones we care about happy. Mammon would sacrifice any and everything to ensure that your life is as peaceful as he could possible make it. He wants you 25/8 around him because he lives off and for you. He loves you so much.

Leviathan

He is on the internet 25/8, he knows how it really is out there and he is the first one to defend anyone against these comments. He also understands what it's liked to be judged for his anime obsession, appearance, and his 'normie' comments. But you won't ever be bullied. While it takes him time to be fully pissed off, he won't hesitate to fight on your behalf and share his wrath with others.

He understands the struggle of not finding anything in your size so he himself, yes this otaku, will take up the amazing job with pride of making you a cute asf cosplay costume. He'll help you realize that you're perfect just the way you are. Also this man will have you near him for cuddle time which is all the time

Satan

Satan, like Lucifer, learned A LOT about himself. Mc taught Satan that he didn't have to be bound by what brought him. Essentially, he may have been born by Lucifer, but he isn't Lucifer at all. He is Satan, he is his own person and should not be tied down by this. He wants to ensure that his S/O understands that too.

He'll remind them that they aren't what people think they are and that they are special. They mean the world to him, like a good book that you can't put down, he will NEVER stop loving you and cherishing you for the entirety of your life.

Would love it if you sat on his lap while he read you a story or read together. He wants to have that moment, that experience of reading together which is cute ngl, but it's hard to have someone read from your side. Get on his lap, he wants you to be on his lap and read with him.

Asmodeus

Your personal hype man. He honestly doesn't care or give a damn what other's think. He'll tell you that you're perfect just the way you are because you are. Those comments? It's the haters and that's all they will be. Asmo doesn't want his S/O to feel insecure so the moment you're down, he'll stop talking about himself and focus on you. He knows what being insecure is, but rather than hiding it he much rather you feel better and feel confident..

The moment you're down, it's all about you. What do YOU want to do? Stay home? Okay, at home spa or simply relaxing. You want to go out? Where? Shopping? A cute pastry place or whatever they have at the devildom, idk.

Beelzebub

Beel is very adorable, please he doesn't overthink things and he is a man of action. All the brother loves you the way you are, but Beel might not understand insecurities at first because he sees nothing wrong and will never understand comments like that. He respects any and all opinions you have about yourself minus the negative ones because he cares a lot about you and it hurts him to hear you be mean to yourself or others to you. If you want to work out or anything, he'll be down to assist and help you. You don't? That's okay because there is no need, it's all about loving yourself and feeling comfortable with yourself.

Beel loves cuddles (who tf doesn't) and would request them constantly, especially when you're sleeping. While some think that Beel is 'dumb' it's because he doesn't tend to think things constantly. He's an outright person who says what they want to say and that's it. What would he say to you? That he loves you <3

Belphegor

We'd make great pillows so you can already tell that Belphie would also tell us that he loves us for who we are and not how we look like. Sure we beautiful and STUNNING, but he loves us a lot more because we are ourselves. He loves the cute stories we say when he's snoozing off on us, the hugs we give him when he wants them.

He hears any negative comments, he would not hesitate to invade someone else dreams and haunt them from within or unleashing hell on them. What do they know about his darling? Nothing, so they should say nothing as well.

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