#And my sister sees some unattainable form of reason and compassion in them she is fighting to get and never will | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years

Text

So, my girl @blogbeautiffulthings showed me this article from the WallStreet Journal of Camila talking about her anxiety and is really sad but very informative. We can see a part of her we doesn’t see and it’s really good to see it.

“In her own words, 23-year-old Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter Camila Cabello talks about dealing with her internal struggles for Mental Health Month.If you look at the pictures I’ve posted on Instagram over the last year, you’ll find pictures of me writing in the studio, pictures in a hallway in a bomb-dot-com outfit before going onstage to perform, pictures of me cuddled up with my dog, Eugene, on a couch, and pictures of me bursting with excitement to play you my music.But here’s what there aren’t pictures of from the last year: me crying in the car talking to my mom about how much anxiety and how many symptoms of OCD [obsessive-compulsive disorder] I was experiencing. My mom and me in a hotel room reading books about OCD because I was desperate for relief. Me experiencing what felt like constant, unwavering, relentless anxiety that made day-to-day life painfully hard.I didn’t want to tell you what was going on for the same reason a lot of us don’t want to talk about what it feels like to be at war in our minds and in our bodies. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I didn’t want the people who thought I was strong and capable and confident—the people who most believed in me—to find out that I felt weak. The little voice in my head was telling me that if I was honest about my mental health struggle and my internal battles (i.e. being human), people would think there was something wrong with me, or that I wasn’t strong, or that I couldn’t handle things.That same little voice also told me maybe I was being ungrateful for all the good in my life—and that hiding the open wound I’d been avoiding the last few years was the easiest and fastest solution.But all of that is not the truth. There was something hurting inside me, and I didn’t have the skill to heal it or handle it. In order to heal it, I had to talk about it. Denying my suffering and berating myself didn’t help things. I needed to say those three revolutionary words: “I need help.”For a few months, I felt messed up, with a capital UP. My anxiety manifested in the form of obsessive compulsive disorder. OCD is not how it’s stereotyped, like,“She’s so OCD about her desk being organized, etc.” OCD can take many different forms, and for me it was obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. To put it simply, it made me feel like my mind was playing a cruel trick on me. It affected me physically, too. I couldn’t sleep for a long time, I had a constant knot in my throat, I had chronic headaches, and my body went through what felt like multiple roller-coaster rides every day. I kept going and kept showing up, never letting people around me know how much I was really struggling. But you probably felt my distance on some level. All my loved ones did.It’s hard to be there for your people when you’re just trying to be OK yourself. That’s why being brave enough and loving yourself enough to speak up and get help is not only the best gift you can give yourself but the best gift you can give the people you care about. In the moments when I was battling my anxiety, I wasn’t present when my sister talked to me about her day, or I wasn’t present enough to notice that my mom had been quiet. I couldn’t ask my mom what was wrong, because my mind was making so much noise and my hands were full trying to handle my own pain. I knew I needed to take action and take ownership of the one mind and the one life I was given.I did a lot of work every day for months. Through the help of cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation (the most empowering thing I think a human being can do, whether you are struggling or not), breathwork and taking care of my body, I am not in that internal war that I was in every day. It also took a lot of self-love (believing I am inherently worthy of happiness, belonging, love and joy, no matter what), self-compassion (not emotionally beating myself up for struggling) and self-awareness (calling myself out on my shit).Today I am no longer in that internal war. I feel the healthiest and most connected to myself I’ve ever been, and nowadays I rarely suffer from OCD symptoms. Anxiety comes and goes, but now it feels like just another difficult emotion, as opposed to something that’s consuming my life. By doing the work and showing up for myself every day, I feel like I have more trust in myself than ever before.Still, I had to speak up. We have to have these conversations about mental health the same way we have them about physical health. If someone breaks their leg, we wouldn’t be calling them inadequate or weak. There would be no question that the next step is to go to the doctor and tend to it.For a long time, anxiety felt like it was robbing me of my humor, my joy, my creativity and my trust. But now anxiety and I are good friends. I listen to her, because I know she’s just trying to keep me safe, but I don’t give her too much attention. And I sure as hell don’t let her make any decisions.For any of you going through a hard time with your mental health, please speak up. We live in a culture that pursues an unattainable perfection. Social media can make us feel like we should be as perfect as everybody else seems to be. Far from being a sign of weakness, owning our struggles and taking the steps to heal is powerful.Just because you were born, you have the right—and the choice—to fight for your health and happiness, to show up for your one, precious life. Let’s not carry the heavy stuff alone—together we can walk a little lighter, free our arms up and dance again”.

Camila for Wall Street Journal

____

Camila has not talked about this in her stories or lives but we have seen it. We have seen that since 2019 she has been struggling with her anxiety and OCD because her expression has shown it. Her lack of energy, her decay. Everything in her has not been screaming all this time that she is not well and that she needs help. We know that the media pressure of the circus has not helped her either, but that is the details of something deeper than that. Not for nothing when we become aware of what she is going through do we publicly discuss it and ask that they take care of her because she needs it. Camila needs specialists to help her with her mental problems because it is important that they be taken care of. The extra help of meditation goes a long way, but if she needs traditional medicine, I think it is also important that she get help that way. The help of psychologists and psychiatrists can also help her and I hope she is trying. Her fans, the usual. Send her love and support, so that she knows that she is not alone and that we will always be aware that she is well because we only want to see her happy

#camila cabello #mental health #OCD #anxiety #wall street journal #article

40 notes · View notes