#I wish I was fucking dead y’all lmao

[witchybitchy222]

Azriel x Reader | Satisfaction

You have a date and Azriel wishes it’d been with him. Basically.

Hey y’all! It’s been a long while and I apologize for not only that, but also the quality of this fic… I know it isn’t great, and full disclosure i am not sober while writing this and I did not edit or re read this. If I make a part two I promise it’ll be better LMAO

Before his boots had even touched down on the balcony at the House of Wind, Azriel had been dreaming of his bed. He’d worked nearly 24 hours straight and wanted nothing more than to drift off into oblivion for at least a day.

He’d thrown himself into any and all tasks he could find, trying in vain to keep his thoughts from wandering to you.

Azriel had been yearning for you for well over a century now, and your introverted and private personality meant although he’d known you’d been with other people during the 150 years you’d known each other, he never had to hear about it and therefore never had to go through the pain of thinking about it.

Now, however, you’d decided to start seriously dating and he felt like he was going insane.

You’d been on a few dates recently with the same male, always coming home with a smile, always aughing and blushing with the other females at training as they teased you about him. It was devastating.

Yesterday, you’d all been in the sitting room after dinner, drinking Rhys’s wine and laughing at whatever dumb thing Cassian had done that day, when Mor brought up him.

Azriel had never hated a name like he now hated the name Ian. Ian. The male who had all of your attention as of late.

He silently cursed Mor and her big ass mouth for mentioning your upcoming date. You’d been sitting next to him at the time and he was shamelessly basking in the light of your undivided attention.

“You know,” the blonde had said, “you’ve been seeing each other for three weeks, I think it’s about time you fucked.”

You’d gone beet red at the mention, slowly turning toward Mor with a look that was nothing short of mortified.

“Oh come on,” she’d laughed, looking from your distressed face to Nesta and Cassian barely containing their amusement, “you can’t act like you weren’t thinking it already”

“Maybe! But I wasn’t about to announce it to the whole room!” You’d hissed in her direction as Nesta and Cassian let out their laughter.

Azriel had gone completely still at your admission, his ears ringing and mind swirling with the thought of you touching and being touched by another male. His sudden possessiveness was down right shameful. You’d never seen him as anything but a friend, and he’d be out of his mind to risk that friendship. He had no claim to you and no reason to feel so sick at the thought of you and someone else.

That’s why, as soon as the opportunity presented itself, Azriel had done what he’d always done when his feelings got out of control. He’d isolated himself and focused on what he did best, his work.

Azriel was walking down the hallway to his room when he heard the sounds of laughter coming from the kitchen, knowing immediately that as hard as he’d tried to avoid hearing about your date with Ian, he’d walked right into your post-date debrief with Mor.

“… it can’t have been that bad.” The blonde’s feathery voice floated out, and Azriel stopped dead in his tracks.

He knew better than to eavesdrop on his friends. There was a reason he kept his shadows reigned in at home, he’d heard way too much coming from Cassian and Nesta’s room to ever want to know everything that was going on in that house.

But this time, he just couldn’t help himself.

“It was… boring.”

“Ouch!” Mor cried “that’s probably the worst thing you can say about sex.”

Azriel tensed, now smelling the obvious scent of sex and wine in the air. This was a literal nightmare.

“It wasn’t really sex, just… hand… stuff”

He could practically see your blush as your voice trailed off in embarrassment.

“Still, you shouldn’t be bored when someone is touching you.”

“Well I was. And now I’m all… frazzled. And unsatisfied.”

“ you mean horny”

Azriel could imagine you rolling your eyes at that, cheeks still delightfully pink.

“Fine, Mor. I’m horny.”

Hearing those words come out of your mouth got Azriel more worked up than he’d ever admit, and he decided it was time to stop lingering in the hall and get the rest he needed before he did something foolish.

He readied himself for bed methodically, willing himself not to think any more about you and your current aroused state.

Despite the bone-deep exhaustion he was feeling, sleep wouldn’t come. Azriel lay staring at the ceiling for nearly an hour before giving in and sliding his hand under the covers and palming his already throbbing cock.

He closed his eyes and let his mind wander where it always did, to you. He thought of how that perfect pink blush would look on your face as he kissed and licked his way down your body, squeezing and nipping your skin as he worked his way to your core, he thought of all the ways he would make sure you were more than satisfied. He thought of how your lips would feel wrapped around his cock, sucking and licking as you stared up him through your lashes, and it wasn’t long before Azriel was coming undone.

He lay in bed after, and didn’t try to curb his thoughts, allowing himself to fall asleep thinking of you wrapped in his arms.

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar #witchybitchy222 #mine #azriel x reader #send me asks #azriel #azriel x female reader #acotar x reader

[supernovafics]

𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐓

pairing: andy barber x fem!reader

word count: 2.5k words

summary: in which you and andy are going through a divorce, for reasons that were mainly his doing. however, most nights, you find it way too hard to stay away from him. 

warnings: explicit language, implied smut (not fully described), mentions of cheating (on andy’s part), lots of angst

author’s note: first time posting a fic in what feels like forever lmao hope y’all enjoy!<33 (full folklore series masterlist here)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“and if i'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? cursing my name, wishing i stayed. look at how my tears ricochet.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

As much as you hated to admit it, the fact that you didn’t know where anything was in Andy’s condo bothered you. 

In hindsight, it did make complete sense, he had recently moved in, and you really shouldn’t have known what any part of it even looked like. However, it still felt wrong to you that you couldn’t find anything as simple as a mug.

You padded around the kitchen, rummaging through the various cabinets and noticing that most of them were fully stocked but not with what you wanted. Nothing but Andy’s t-shirt covered your body, and you ignored the slight shiver that ran down your spine as your bare feet walked across the hardwood floors. 

“What are you looking for?”

You turned your attention to Andy, who was standing by the door to his bedroom. “Mug. Glass. Anything I can put some water in.”

He simply nodded and walked over to open up a cabinet, which just so happened to be the next one you were about to check, and took a glass from it. He then went to the refrigerator and filled the glass with water before handing it to you. 

“Thank you,” You muttered before taking a long sip. It was in that moment of silence that you took note of the fact that Andy wasn’t wearing anything aside from his boxer briefs. 

It should’ve been easy, and in a small way, it even felt like it could be. You could set the glass down next to you, pull Andy’s lips to yours, and let him lift you up on the kitchen island and fuck you on the countertop. 

In fact, if a similar moment had occurred two years ago, that’s exactly what would’ve happened next. However, now you couldn’t allow that to happen, at least not again tonight. Your mind had finally caught up with your previous actions and had already begun screaming at you to leave his condo. 

Lately, you had been getting hit with random bits of sadness when you thought about how the man in front of you went from being your best friend to one of the people you hated most. For the time being, though, you decided to push that sad thought to the side. 

Your eyes took a look at the time that was displayed on the microwave. 1:02a.m. 

You took a quick sip from your glass and then set it down on the counter. “I should go.”

 “Stay,” Andy said as he took the smallest step closer to you and let his hand reach under his t-shirt you were wearing and graze your bare hip. 

You fought the urge to instinctively lean into his touch and instead moved away from it. “This shouldn’t have happened, Andy.”

Even in the darkness, you could see the smirk playing on his lips. “And yet somehow it always does.”

The truth behind his words made you angry, more so at yourself than at him. You were the one that called him that night eight months ago. The two of you had already been living apart from one another for two months, yet it still felt so weird not to have his presence right next to you at night. It was hard to admit it or even recognize it, but you were lonely. 

So, you called him, and of course, he answered. And then, of course, he came over and stayed until neither of you felt lonely anymore. 

What happened that night, and the subsequent ones that followed, didn’t change anything between you two, though. The divorce was still happening, and you were still certain that you wanted it to happen. And it was so close to being final, and although neither of you had said it aloud yet, both of you knew that nights like those and this one couldn’t happen anymore once it was. 

And right then, with Andy standing across from you in his kitchen, you were finally the one to say what you and he had yet to say to each other. “This can’t happen anymore.”

You didn’t allow him any chance to respond to your words before you were heading back to the bedroom, quickly pulling Andy’s shirt off of you and beginning to gather your clothes off of the floor. 

Andy stood by the door and simply watched you put on your bra and underwear and then the black dress that you had shown up in. You wanted him to say something, but you didn’t know exactly what you wanted him to say, and you also didn’t know how you’d react to whatever he did say. So, when he ultimately didn’t say anything and instead walked you to his front door once you were completely dressed and ready to go, you internally sighed in relief. 

“I’ll see you Friday,” You told him before walking out the door. “When we finalize everything.”

He nodded at your words. “Okay.” 

He didn’t make any move to close the door behind you, and you didn’t make any move to start walking away. You knew that he wanted you to change your mind. To walk back into his new home, curl up under his blankets, and let him wrap his arms around you and hold you until the sun came up. 

The thought alone made your heart squeeze a bit because of how much you missed that, as simple and mundane as it was. However, you knew that you would be an idiot if you allowed that to happen again. 

Still sleeping with him was one thing, even though you weren’t really proud of it. It was simply the comfortability of it all that kept pushing you back to him every few nights. It was easier to go to him when you felt lonely than a random stranger from some app. 

However, you could not give Andy more than that. Mainly because he didn’t deserve it, but also because you couldn’t allow yourself to have even just a taste of what used to be because you were scared of how much you’d want it back, and it would hurt like hell knowing that you couldn’t have it.

You didn’t say anything before you simply walked away and heard the quiet click of the door closing behind you a few moments later. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“did i deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me? 'cause i loved you, i swear i loved you 'til my dying day.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Sometimes it was almost too easy to forget all of the shit Andy put you through in recent years. When you simply looked at him and didn’t allow yourself to think about how things ended, you could see him as the man you fell in love with. The man that gave you his sweatshirt on your first date nearly a decade ago when it started pouring down rain, and he didn’t care about himself getting wet; he just wanted to make sure that you didn’t. 

However, just as easy as it was to forget, it was also easy to be reminded of what pulled you two apart in the first place. The betrayal that, at most times, still felt so fucking fresh. 

That was what you were thinking about when you entered your lawyer’s office. It made you remember why all of this was happening in the first place. 

It felt both sad and funny how easy this final part was. Both you and Andy signing your names to a document that somehow put a final, tangible ending to the eight-year marriage. Although, in your heart and mind, it had been over for months. 

You avoided eye contact with Andy the entire time, instead allowing your and his respective lawyer’s to do the majority of the talking. There was nothing that you felt as if you needed to say at that moment. 

Honestly, you just wanted it all to be over, and with Andy’s final signature, it was. 

You found yourself alone with him in the elevator on the ride down to the parking lot, and it wasn’t too shocking how silent the ride was and how awkward it felt. 

Andy was the one to ultimately break the silence, although you wouldn’t have minded if it had prevailed. “I’m gonna miss you.”

You took a quick glance at the man next to you before returning your gaze forward. “You can’t say stuff like that.”

“But if it’s the truth?”

You were quick to shake your head at him. “It’s not true.”

“I am gonna miss you, Y/N.”

The elevator dinged before you could mutter out a response. However, you were grateful for the “saved by the bell” moment because you had no idea what you would have said to Andy anyway. 

A part of you wanted to yell at him and tell him that this was all his fault, that none of this would have happened if he hadn’t cheated. That the two of you could have maybe fixed the problems that were already prevailing in the marriage if he hadn’t made that horrible decision. 

However, you were far past the anger stage of grief. So, instead of yelling at him and saying that he didn’t deserve to miss you, you simply said, “Bye, Andy.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“and i can go anywhere i want. anywhere i want, just not home. and you can aim for my heart, go for blood. but you would still miss me in your bones.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You didn’t find it surprising that you once again found yourself feeling lonely in the house that was now solely yours and in the bed that you knew that soon you would need to get rid of because of how much it reminded you of Andy. 

You shifted around in the bed and grabbed your phone from the nightstand, quickly checking the time; 1:38a.m. It slightly upset you that you only managed to sleep for a little over two hours before your body forced you awake. 

Before placing your phone back down, you noticed the missed call, voicemail, and text notifications that took up most of your home screen. They were only from a little over thirty minutes ago, and all from Andy.  

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you clicked on the text message notification and started reading the few short sentences that Andy sent. 

Andy: I’m sorry. Don’t listen to that voicemail. It was dumb and I’m stupid right now. And a little drunk. I really am sorry. 

You didn’t say anything in response to the message and instead went straight to the voicemail. Your finger lingered over the delete button because you knew that whatever was said in that voicemail would probably only leave you feeling conflicted and sad, especially since Andy didn’t want you to listen to it. 

However, you were too curious not to. So you pressed play on the voicemail and put it on speaker. 

“Hey,” Andy breathed out, and just from the simple one word, you could tell he was drunk. You’d known him long enough to be able to easily recognize almost anything about him. 

“I should’ve known that you wouldn’t answer. It’s so late, and you’re probably asleep. Also, I know I shouldn’t even be calling you right now, but something told me to. Maybe it’s the whiskey. Wait, scratch that, it’s definitely the whiskey.”

“Things between us have been over for a while now; although you’d still come over here some nights, and I’d go to you other nights. But now we signed the papers, and it’s truly over. And fuck, that feels so insane.” 

“I really was telling the truth in the elevator earlier; I’m gonna miss you. Actually, saying it like that is a lie. I’m not going to miss you, Y/N. I already miss you. So fucking much.”

You hated how much you could hear the honesty behind his words. It made you despise the fact that you knew him so well. 

“And, of course, I know it’s all my fault because I fucked everything up. And I regret it every goddamn day. And I wish it never happened. And I wish I hadn’t been such a fucking idiot. I love you, and I always will. I know that’s unfair to say, but it really is the truth.”

“God, I don’t even know what I just rambled on about for a minute and a half. Shit, I really hope you don’t listen to this. Maybe there’s a way I can delete it. Fuc–.”

As soon as the voicemail ended, you fully regretted listening to it. It left you feeling just like you had predicted; confused and sad. And right then, you truly didn’t want to be feeling either of those things. 

Ever since the two of you separated yet decided to continue “visiting” one another, it was always in the moments after you slept with Andy that a feeling of peace would wash over you. Once the immediate feelings of pleasure and euphoria subsided, they were always replaced with peace. 

That feeling, though, would only last for a moment before you were knocked right back into reality, and your brain finally caught up with your previous actions, and it realized what you were doing and who you were doing it with. 

For some reason, at that moment in your bed, you were craving that feeling of peace, as fleeting as it always was. Therefore, once again, you decided to partake in another impulsive decision that would probably end badly. 

The call only rang two times before Andy picked up. “Hey,” He didn’t sound as inebriated as he had in the voicemail. 

You took a minor pause before simply saying, “Hi.”

“You listened to it?”

A part of you debated lying to him, but you ultimately decided against it. “Yeah. You know how curious I am. I couldn’t not listen to it.”

“I’m sorry,” Andy was quick to tell you. “For leaving it in the first place.”

You didn’t know how to respond to that. Of course, you wished that he hadn’t sent the voicemail because of how it left you feeling, but you also found yourself glad to have heard his honesty in it. 

“I wish things were different,” Andy spoke again before you could say anything. 

“Me too,” You muttered, biting your lip and screwing your eyes shut to stop the abrupt well of tears from spilling. 

A mixed wave of emotions washed over you at that moment. The most prominent one being that all too familiar feeling of loneliness. 

Although an apple-sized lump was sitting heavy in your throat, you still managed to speak. “Can you come over?”

It was quiet on Andy’s end for a brief moment, which made you second guess yourself for a few seconds. “You sure?”

No, you weren’t. You weren’t really sure of anything at that point, but that didn’t stop you from saying, “Yes.”

“Okay,” Andy said, his voice soft. “I’ll be there in twenty.”

Internally, you promised yourself that this time would actually be the last. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“i didn't have it in myself to go with grace, and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know ur thoughts<333

#andy barber imagine #andy barber x fem!reader #andy barber x reader #andy barber x female reader #andy barber x wife reader #andy barber angst #andy barber smut #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader

[bottomtrevor]

GTA V HEADCANONS

(WHY AM I DOING THIS , THE FANDOMS DEAD IT , HAS BEEN FOR 9 YEARS)

Light hearted headcanons, most of them set post-ending C

Trevor fixation throughout these 🤭

Lamar lowkey does not like Michael too much just because he befriended Trevor first and heard all that reptilian shit about Mike— so his opinion on Mike formed long before he actually met him. He doesn’t HATE Michael, or even dislike him, but his loyalties definitely lie with Trevor (who doesn’t even have beef with Michael anymore lmao (post c ending, baby) )

Often when they’re hanging out, Michael and Trevor keep up the act of being Frank’s dads. (Gives Michael an excuse to act all coupley with Trevor. Or y’all know his repressed ass would never otherwise 😒)

Trevor and Amanda being passive aggressive in a fake-nice-but-Actually-very-bitchy way at the dinner table 😭😭😭??

Frank often inviting his friends over to his vinewood house cuz that place is big and can get lonely all by himself and chop.

THIS one is PURELY self indulgent so ......Cats just seem to really like Trevor. Nobody can ever understand why. Especially because whenever a cat is rubbing lovingly against Trevor all he does is act disgusted and yell things at it and call it names (but never pushes it away. And OCCASIONALLY he will cuss them out/threaten them in baby talk 😒)

Trevor taking wade out for ice cream (the good ending)

Wade keeps sending messages to Floyd and Debra every now and then. They never respond :(

“Dad, that is so unbased of you. You’re like the anti-giga chad reddit-pilled discord mod.” “Jimmy, what the hell are you talking about?”

Trevor helping Tracey through the college application process. (She knows how to apply and what to do, she just gets really stressed out and panics easily.)

Trevor in a sleeveless crop top (to show off his Fuck Cops tattoo). You know like the Love Fist shirt specifically but it’s cropped

Wade and Trevor sometimes cuddle to sleep 👍🏻 (Ron wishes he could join😔)

Trevor fueling Ron’s paranoia sometimes when he’s feeling mischievous 😼 making up incidents that sound like he’s being monitored or scenarios where he saw UFOs etc. it’s really funny seeing Ron lose it but Trevor keeps a straight face

Trevor and Michael (sometimes with frank) go to the pier fair often 👍🏻 play games and ride the Ferris wheel (only to commemorate Steve Haine’s demise. It’s not like they actually LIKE spending some special time up there away from everything else with that spectacular view. NO way😒)

#idek #shitposting #purely to alleviate my own depression purr #gta 5 #gta v #trikey #trikey gta #trikeygta #grand theft auto #grand theft auto V #trevor philips #Michael de Santa #Michael townley #franklin Clinton #Lamar Davis

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Ride the Cyclone Kids Performing The Crucible

i have no excuse for this one. i just have had an unhealthy addiction to The Crucible since i had to read it in 11th grade. it’s been three years, and it still has a chokehold on me.

also i know they’re a choir, not a theater group, but shhhhhh

Ocean is Mary Warren

Noel is Reverend Hale

Mischa is John Proctor

Ricky can’t perform, but he is a stagehand, so he’s around quite often!

Penny is Abigail Williams

Constance is Elizabeth Proctor

All the other characters are played by random students

Noel, playing a priest: i feel like there’s some irony here

He’s pretty damn good at pretending to be religious, though!

Ricky, to Ocean: Ocean! You’re already so prepared for the role!

Ocean: Really?

Ricky: Yeah!

Ricky: Ginger

Get it? Cause The Crucible is about the Salem Witch Trials… Gingers were/are called witches/demons…

Ocean isn’t amused

Noel in movie!Hale’s getup

Penny, whenever Noel has to interact with her: hello, gay boy

Okay okay, Penny as Abigail? ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING

Like, Holy Shit

She’s so scary, in fact, that she makes Ocean sit down like a fucking red heeler during her whole monologue about Abby’s dead parents

Penny: Now look you. All of you. We danced. And Tituba conjured Ruth Putnam’s dead sisters. And that is all. And mark this. Let either of you breathe a word, or the edge of a word, about the other things, and I will come to you in the black of some terrible night, and I will bring a pointy reckoning that will shudder you. And you know I can do it; I saw Indians smash my dear parents’ heads on the pillow next to mine, and l have seen some reddish work done at night, and l can make you wish you had never seen the sun go down!

Ocean, who’s in the same scene:

Mischa as Proctor is terrifying, too, but not quite on Penny’s level because he’s already an intimidating dude

It’s just daunting seeing Penny act so cruel

She’ll finish a scene where her character literally shattered the psyche of another character and forced said character into a mental breakdown and will be like “great job, guys! 🥰”

(The other character was Ocean’s lmao)

(If you’ve read TC, y’all know what scene I’m talking about)

You know the part where Abigail hits Betty? Yeah, Penny is merciless with that scene

The actress of Betty damn near saw god that day

Poor girl went SPINNING off the bed she was on

The script literally says “smashes her [Betty] across the face” and Penny took that WAY TOO SERIOUSLY

The duality between Penny nearly decapitating a kid with her hand alone and Penny being like “i’m so sorry!!! are you okay?!” immediately after

After that, the director tells her to lighten up a little lol

The slaps are still real, though

Just less likely to One-Hit KO Betty’s actress straight into the afterlife

Noel, when Penny does Anything: whore behavior

And speaking of whore behavior

Penny and Mischa. Their characters fucked

These two have NO interest in each other whatsoever, but that doesn’t stop them from acting as slutty as possible because they think it’s hilarious, especially when the other choir members react in the most disgusted way

Mischa: I can’t believe my character is an adult man fucking a teenager.

Penny: I am the teenager

Mischa: Thank you, Penny. I did not know that

Meanwhile, there is NO chemistry between Mischa and Constance, even though they’re supposed to be married, and it’s really funny

But honestly, kinda fitting

Since, you know. Proctor cheated on Elizabeth, and there’s meant to be a noticeable rift between them

Ricky, holding an imaginary microphone up to Constance: Constance! Constance! What’s it like playing a canonical milf?

Constance: Pretty cool

One time when Constance and Mischa were sitting at the dinner table set piece for act 2, waiting for the scene to begin, Constance whispered “I can’t believe I bred with you” and Mischa LOST IT

Constance wore Birkenstocks for some time. You know, before their costumes came together

Constance: They’re my Jesus slippers!

Mischa: I don’t think Birkenstocks were around in 4 BC Bethlehem

Constance: Go eat a fridge

Meanwhile, Ocean had an absolutely VISCERAL reaction to these fucking Birkenstocks

Ocean: I’m onto you, Elizabeth, you slippery weasel. I see those things. My mother eats, sleeps, and BREATHES Birkenstocks. I can smell those uncomfortable, mold-soled jerks from a mile away. I can SEE your footprints in them. I know what you’re hiding. I swear, my mother has a pair of those in that exact color, but I don’t know for sure because I’m not at home to check right now, and I’m not allowed in her closet anyway. I bet you stole them, didn’t you? Well, you doubt my willpower to rat you out, she-devil. I know. I see everything. My quietness makes me watchful. I’m practically invisible. I know you paid 99.95 shillings or more for shoes that feel more like solid stone than proper footwear. You snake. You fool. You absolute devil woman. You deserve no rights. Why would you make this purchase if you know what our world is like? You’re a woman in the 1600s for god’s sake, Elizabeth, you’re making chump change! You can’t spend your money on freakin’ Birkenstocks. Go to the general store and get some slippers because at least they would be cheaper and MATCH YOUR DRESS. I may be ace, and I may be aro, but even I know those two colors DO NOT go together. You are pure evil. Purple and that color? That brown? What were you thinking, woman?! You deserve no rights. I hope the shoe mold harvests every last one of your toes. Rapture is nigh, lady, and I don’t think your feet are prepared for judgement.

Meanwhile, the whole theater is SHRIEKING with laughter

At one point Mischa asked the director if he can just pick Ocean up instead chasing her in act 2 because it’ll “be easier”

In response, the director says, “It’s not going to happen because it’ll kinda ruin the illusion of terror, but I would like to see what you would do.”

This then led to Mischa throwing Ocean over his shoulder like she’s a sack of potatoes

In retaliation, Ocean grappled onto him with all of her limbs like a rare species of red koala

“YOU CAN’T BEAT ME IF YOU CAN’T PUT ME DOWN!!!!”

Ocean can cry on command, which is good because of how emotional Mary Warren is

She spends more than half her stage time sobbing uncontrollably

Ocean: oh yeah, crying on command is easy! i just have to remember my Whole Life

Ricky: so have you ever considered the school counselor

“Mary Warren is holding the weight of my mental health on her tiny, Puritan shoulders” -Ocean

Mischa gets to use a REAL WHIP for the play

He once accidentally hit himself with it when trying to crack it

The others have never seen him crumple to the floor like that before

He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t even manage a scream, so he was just silently shrieking in pain

Noel, coming up behind Ocean during this, whispering in her ear: that’s gonna be you soon

Ocean isn’t nervous, though

She trusts Mischa!

Anyone else playing Proctor, though?

Nope

Before the whip came in, Mischa would take his belt off and threaten Ocean with it

But 3/4 times he couldn’t get the fucking thing off quick enough

Mischa: I’ll official y— Uh. Hang on. Sorry, just— fuck, this thing is on good. COME OFF!

He just starts fighting it

Meanwhile, Constance and Ocean are just there like 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

They decided to start using a stick instead (pre-whip era)

They call it the “Beating Stick”

Mischa accidentally hit Ocean with it once

Ocean folded like a goddamn chair

When Mischa gets the whip and is like “I’ll official you!” Ocean jumps on the WHOLE DINNER TABLE to get away from him and ends up flipping the entire thing

Ocean, hiding under the dinner table while Mischa prowls around with the whip: i feel this on a personal level

Mischa: W H A T

It’s method acting 😌

During Elizabeth’s arrest at the end of act 2, when everyone starts yelling at each other, Constance pushes Ocean behind her like she’s trying to keep her safe from the mayhem, and Ocean Almost Cried

You know what she DID cry at, though?

When Elizabeth is actually arrested

Ocean takes it WAY TOO PERSONALLY

She’s acting like Constance is actually getting arrested and put into jail for witchcraft 😭

Great acting, though

Mischa, to the director, about the arrest scene in act 2: Hey, so you know how Proctor is threatening everyone and is really angry?

The director: Yeah?

Mischa: Okay, so, hear me out. What if he had a gun?

The director:

So Mischa gets a gun

Unlike the whip, this one is fake!

But still

He feels so POWERFUL

Ricky has made it his personal mission to condition the actors into acting and staying in character through Anything, so he just does random shit in the wings during practice

Even the very emotional scenes

Mischa: l will bring you home! l will bring you soon!

Constance: Oh, John, bring me soon!

Mischa: I will fall like an ocean on that court! Fear nothing, Elizabeth.

Constance: I will fear nothing.

Ricky, in the wings: 🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃

Ocean is so short compared to Mischa that the scene between Mary and Proctor at the end of act 2 looks like the violent assault of an elementary school student

This is the scene

Mischa, holding Ocean by the throat: I could break you like a potato chip

Ocean: Do it then

Mischa fuckin FLINGS Ocean to the ground so hard there was this loud ass THUMP

A visual representation of what this would look like from an actual version of The Crucible online

(Side note: the version this comes from is fucking AMAZING. Mary is SO GOOD)

Okay, so, act 3? Ocean’s acting? HOLY SHIT

She puts her fucking SOUL into this performance

She cries so hard during act 3 that Mischa, who is with her most of the time, is genuinely concerned that she’s having some kind of episode

She keeps holding her head in her hands, curling up on herself to seem smaller, rocking back and forth, breathing shakily, whimpering and sobbing, and Mischa can’t tell if she’s just a really good actress or is in need of psychological assistance

(The answer is both)

She’s constantly being told to drink water afterward because she gets dehydrated from crying so much

There’s this one point in act 3 where Mischa and Noel are standing around Ocean because she started crying again, and they looked like her gay colonial parents

Ocean, to the director: Hey, so the script says, “They all watch as Abigail, out of her infinite charity, reaches out and draws the sobbing Mary to her, and then looks up to Danforth.” Does this mean that I get to be hugged by Penny?

The director: Yes, it does.

The director: Why are you crying??

At the very end of the play, they actually have an execution scene, where they pretend to hang Mischa with a harness and stuff

Noel: Did you guys hear about that one wardrobe malfunction during a school play?

Constance: No, what happened?

Noel: Well, they were doing a hanging scene, as we’re doing now, and apparently the harness broke or something because the kid started to actually hang. Nobody knew he was dead until after the scene because they just thought his struggling and stillness was just acting.

Penny: That sounds awful. Imagine getting into a school play and inviting your whole family to come watch you, and then you fucking die.

Ocean: His parents were probably out in the lobby with flowers afterwards, waiting to congratulate him, and then someone had to go out and tell them that not only he was dead, but they also watched him die without realizing it. Probably got videos of it and everything.

Noel: It gets worse. He was an understudy. The kid who was supposed to go on got sick and couldn’t perform, so this guy went on for him and died because of it.

Mischa, in a harness above them, about to be hanged: I’m feeling a little unsafe

THE KIDS IN COLONIAL OUTFITS

THE GIRLS IN COLONIAL DRESSES AND BONNETS!!!!!

#i got. a little carried away lol #i just fucking LOVE the crucible so goddamn much #ride the cyclone headcanons #rtc headcanons #rtc #ride the cyclone #ocean o’connell rosenberg #noel gruber #mischa bachinski #penny lamb #jane doe #ricky potts #constance blackwood

[slutisnotabadword]

I don’t like Kai or Klaus. Hot take, probably.

I hate the both of them. But I also enjoy them for different reasons. For Kai, I enjoy him being the villain. But I do not connect with his character, and I just cannot forgive him for killing Jo.

And I know what y’all finna say: “But how can you forgive Damon for killing Lexi??”

I can forgive him for that because realistically we only y knew Lexi for five fucking minutes. Let’s be for real. Lexi was a cool ass character, don’t get me wrong, but we didn’t spend much time with Lexi as a character the same we did with Jo. We saw a future with Jo, and we witnessed relationships form with her, as well. My heart broke a little when she died in the most traumatic way possible, and it made me feel EXTREMELY bad for Alaric. And to make matters worse is that Jo was his sister! Not to mention his other siblings, which were cHILDREN. Then Kai Stans try to justify all of it by hollering about daddy issues. EVERYONE HAS DADDY ISSUES, you don’t see me killing my entire family because of it. Suck it up and get some therapy.

Now moving onto Klaus. I don’t hate Klaus because of his actions tbh, what annoys me the most is his personality LMAO (also another hot take, i don’t particularly like the originals.. except for Rebekah). Klaus reminds me of a big ass child. He throws these tantrums and screaming about how he can’t be killed with that same crying face he does, it annoys me. He’s very entertaining to watch, and atleast he’s not boring, but he definitely makes me roll my eyes a lot. Like dude, you’re centuries old and you still have daddy issues? It’s just the fact that Klaus had SO many opportunities to get his life together, but he just… doesn’t. And instead, he becomes obsessed with power and being king of the world. Almost everything that has happened to him is because of HIM. He makes his own damn enemies. Like, maybe if you weren’t such a little bitch half of the damn time, the entire city of New Orleans wouldn’t be wishing you dead. Just a thought.

This goes to say… everyone has their own opinions and everyone interprets and connects with characters different. Damon has done awful things and I can see why people don’t like his characters, whether it is due to his actions or just this personality. But I just connected with his character more than anyone else in the series. Simple as that. Just like how someone simply connected with Kai or Klaus.

But know that I definitely DID NOT.

#the vampire diaries #tvd #damon salvatore #tvdu #tvd opinions #klaus mikaelson #kai parker #this post was made to rant and share opinions #this was not an invitation to try to change my mind

[mxtxfanatic]

Alright, finished Yu Wu, so now we have our character breakdowns!

Our Main Cast:

Murong Lian: I am so serious when I say that a sad (not even tragic, just fucking “sucks I guess, dude” sad!) backstory and working with the MCs towards a mutually beneficial goal IS NOT A REDEMPTION ARC.

Yue Chenqing: a lesson in why ignorance is NOT bliss and you should NOT blindly follow whatever your elders say. (Especially if your “respectable elder” is a known rapist with children he don’t even know about under his own roof falling in love with each other 😬). I expected that he’d experience some traumatic bullshit, but holy shit?

Jiang Yexue: I knew there was something off about him, but holy shit????? Hope he rots in hell, but also, he was obviously tainted by that dark cultivation he took in to save his brother’s life, so maybe the real villain who needs to rot in hell is their rapist daddy 💁🏽‍♀️

Murong Chuyi: I knew he liked Yue Chenqing deep down and that something must have happened to make him turn on Jiang Yexue, but holy shit???? Anyways, hope he gets to beat that fool’s AND his rapist daddy’s asses in the afterlife before reincarnating into the most peaceful next life. (On another note, wtf is up with meatbun and jumping into blood pools????)

The emperor: I CALLED IT! A MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE AND A COWARD 🗣🗣🗣 IF YOU TRUSTED HIM AT ANY POINT, DON’T TALK TO ME 🗣🗣🗣

Guoshi of Liao/Hua Po’an: everyone is afraid of this super ultra powerful, seemingly invincible guoshi and ain’t none of y’all stopped to think, “wow, this is suspicious; wonder if that one villain IN ALL OUR STORIES maybe didn’t die, especially since we keep seeing hints that the one who “killed” him and died with him is ALSO not dead!” What foolishness… Anyways, man had plans on plans and still couldn’t predict human kindness, what a tool lmao

Princess Mengze: everyone was playing 3D chess with politics but bitch was on 4D; I was shook 😳

Gu Mang: MY BOY! Wwx if he was written into a trauma porn novel. Stuck. To. His. Convictions!!! Every reveal of his was a whammy on top of a whammy 😭😭😭 Thought he was out here being Naruto-level foolish without the protagonist halo, but he was really out here playing 4D chess on human morality with the best of them! GIVE HIM HIS FLOWERS 💐 💐💐

Mo Xi: love how he loves Gu Mang. Hate how goddamn naive he is. At some points, instead of feeling emotionally overwhelmed, I was just getting secondhand embarrassment. Would obviously NOT survive a political intrigue novel.

Honorable mentions:

Lu Zhanxing: his death fucking suuuuuucked, but he was a real one.

Li Wei: standing up to the emperor’s men to protect your lord, LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

Lan’er (Changfeng-jun’s daughter): they didn’t have to do her like that… (also, is she still alive???? We just kinda drop her and never check back in????)

Madam Jiang/Su Yurou: wish I could be this unbothered in the face of conflict, while having the balls to defy the most terrifying not-quite-human in the known world 😭 glad she survived 💙

Jiang Fuli: fuck, I’m glad HE survived! He deserves it!

Hong Shao: she walked into death bravely and heartbrokenly, and I wish she didn’t have to. I hope she and Li Qingqian reincarnate into a better life where they grow to be the old man and hag together, like she dreamed…

Li Qingqian: the way he found out that in attempting to save Hong Shao, he had actually killed his love AND that her murderer “was” the man who saved him? I’m glad Su Yurou got to tell him the truth, and I hope he was able to reunite with Hong Shao in the afterlife

#yu wu #yuwu spoilers #human reads yuwu #i think this is everyone #I’ll come back if i remember someone i care about #but the thing about this book is that while there seems to be a lot of characters #there aren’t actually? #or many aren’t that important anyway

[complete-idiot-in-love]

Once Upon a Witchlight: Episode 50 (SPOILERS AHEAD)

I'm so sad that I have to wait now for the next episode, how will I survive without my goofy bitches found family???

Sorry that this one's extra long, I added in some pre and post episode comments uwu

Final episode before I have to wait :(

OOOOOO FANART INTRO!!!!!

THE GANG AS POKEMON OMG YES!!!!

Are they gonna be streaming on Youtube now or was this a one time thing? (I hope they stream on youtube)

I want to join the Discord so badly but my social anxiety won’t let me :(

Derek is back! Frost must’ve got over his IBS!

Soundboard noises (Of course Derek does the best one lmao)

I love all the funny noises and voices they do, I wish I was as vocally talented as them

YOOOOOO, THEY’RE GUESTS AT PAX!!! SO PROUD OF THEM, WISH I COULD GO

Mikey’s sweater looks so soft, I wonder where he got it (I fuckin LOVE sweaters fr fr)

The ring of chaos one-shot was so good, I love Joetetee and wish he could come back

Mikey gaslighting people with a FNAF reference is so damn funny, he truly is a gaslight girlboss while Torbek is a girlfailure

I WOULD TOTALLY WATCH A MUPPET MOVIE WITH THEM, I FUCKIN LOVE THE MUPPETS

Mikey says “Here we go” when Rich mentions the muppet movies like my friends when I gush over my hyperfixations lmao, Rich definitely has talked about this before ALSO FUCK U DISNEY FOR STOPPING THE MUPPETS FROM MAKING MORE MOVIES, THOSE ARE COMEDY GOLD

I’m glad they all switch positions and don’t make one person a perma-DM :)

I actually have a bugbear character from waaay back in 2018 so if Torbek makes the race popular I’d be VERY appreciative. They’re one of my favorite races along with satyrs fr fr

 “Torbek’s bringing sexy back” HAHA

DEREK IS FULL-TIME AVANTRIS, DOES THIS MEAN ALL 6 OF EM WORK FOR AVANTRIS AND WON’T MISS A SESSION ANYMORE?? FROST CAN FINALLY HAVE A GUYS NIGHT!!!

Twin dads with man buns /j

Mikey keeps using his Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss actions to get more people to watch the ring of chaos one shot, very funny :)

Derek is a #gamer fr fr

“Derek is bussing fr fr”

Grinko Gladfrown, Mourning Font, Krepe Lacroix, Thorbek and Giddyon Charcoal /j

Andy doing his dancy dance in the background is so gender fr fr

I love these goofy bitches, they’ve spent hour doing NOTHING but I don’t mind cause they’re hilarious

I would love a studio tour, their cables probably look like spaghetti but their knick knacks are probably so poggers looking

I CAN WATCH THEM AT PAX ON TWITCH ON THE 1ST??? YOOOOOOOOOO I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!

Rich SHOULD DM someday, I bet he’d do a great job

Finally we’re getting bean footage after an hour of jokes but I honestly wouldn’t care if they made a 4 hour video of just them fuckin around

We finally met Will and he’s got a knife! “What do you have?” “A KNIFE!” “NOOO”

OH SHIT, HE CALLED KREMY A CROC

Favorite comment: “​forgot how much I love torbek, he's like a wet cat that has alcohol poisoning”

All the little “Friend on the other side” References Kremy does just strengthens my belief that he’s based off the movie

Emergency broadcast: Five fully grown men are arguing with a literal child

Carnival Lecroux need a swear jar fr fr /j

“We could totally murder a horde of kids” FROSTY WTF???

Frost “flossing” and Kremy + Gricko talking about VBucks is so damn funny, more interactions for my Actor AU fr fr /j

MIKEY ACTUALLY GOT A HAT FOR WHEN GRICKO DOES THE 45 DEGREE BODY TILT OMFG

“You can call me Morning Floss!” “I wish I was dead!” SAME KREMY, SAME

“All of you are so damn embarrassing, you’re lucky I love y’all” - My S/I with their head in their hands

KREMY NO, DON’T OFFER KIDS ALCOHOL!!!!

Kremy and Gideon spiking their Sierra Mountain Mist is so canon. My S/I would totally try to drink with them but be absolutely disgusted at the mixture

Kremy and Gideon are drunk lmao

“FR FR, THIS DRINK BE SKIBIDI PHANTOM TAX ON GOD!” WHAT???? I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR SKIBIDI AND PHANTOM TAX, IS GRICKO DRUNK TOO???? “This ain’t no Ohio drink. You a straight rizzler fr fr, giving me this skibidi drink” GRICKO PLEASE, STOP!!!

“We don’t know what children like, we ran a carnival” HAHA, GOOD ONE FROSTY

These dudes should never interact with children /j

“Y’all’re so weak lmao, straight up unpogger girlfailures. You definitely let people diss your fly girls” - My S/I messing with them because they’re a gremlin

“We’re both trying to protect our found family” HE SAID THE THING OMFG, KREMY SAID THE THING!!!!! MY S/I WOULD BE SO FUCKIN HAPPY TO KNOW THAT THEIR DAD ACTUALLY SEES THEM AS FAMILY!!!

IS MORNING MIST POISON??? ARE WE GONNA DIE????

These fuckers got a whole side campaign of quests to do /j

Wouldn’t Bavlorna’s place be better than Yon? She’s the one that likes children after all

“What is gyatt? What is amogus?” Hootsie and I are very much in the cringe zone as the only two party members young enough to understand the slang Gricko is using

TORBEK IS CURSED TO BE A(R/U)TISTIC!! (We would draw pictures together fr fr uwu)

Gideon is a coward, he’s turned into Torbek! /j

Kremy is a kleptomaniac (So basically the same lmao)

Rich with the 80’s rad hat is so funny for some reason??

Frost is forced to confess to doing bad things even if he has to lie about em (He’s a masochist lmao)

Gricko is magnetic and got stuck to Torbek’s back HAHA

Gideon’s a cowardly vampire LMAO

“DON’T CUT GRICKO’S THROAT, TORBEK’S NOT DONE DRAWING HIM YET” HAHAHAHAHA

Why are they always trying to kill Gricko??? It’s funny but weird

WERE-GATOR KREMY RETURNS!!!!!

New favorite comments: “Werewolf thief and a cowardly vampire, what a pair” and “Avantris News: Four adult men sacrifice a green child to appease child gods”

NAT 20 TO ATTACK TORBEK FROM KREMY BUT NIKKIE DREADED IT

My S/I would be so confused at this chaos, I’d probably over with Hootsie and Juniper knitting because they don’t drink soda or alcohol (Based off myself irl)

“These fucking dumbasses, they’re lucky I’m sane in these moments” - My S/I

So excited to see Torbek’s masterpiece

Carnivale lecroux is spelled the fancy way, makes sense for someone like Kremy to spell his business like that (I’ll probably forget and still spell it carnival tho)

I love just listening to them talk about movies with each other, it's really nice :)

Nikkie hoarding mementos from witchlight behind the DM screen is so sweet!

UNICORN OUTFIT FOR KREMY?????

HAHA KREMY GOT THROWN OUT OF LITTLE OAK

GRICKO, STOP DRINKING THE POOP WATER!!!!

When TORBEK is disgusted by you, you know you fucked up!!

Oh thank the gods, it was a prank by will

CANDY??? TORBEK AND I WANT CANDY!!!!!

Besties who share a sweet tooth and trauma/abandonment issues stay besties forever

“The water in the pool does more than just quench your thirst!” “NOT ANYMORE” Gideon/Torbek unison joke!!!

I love Nikkie and her horde of dolls :)

“I also agree with Torbek, we need to kill that bitch of a hag!” - My S/I

TELL US THE STORY ABOUT THE WENDY’S BATHROOM WHEN Y'ALL WENT TO GENCON

Gricko got the diarrhea this episode lmao

“Fill up squirt” sounds so suggestive

Empty capri sun Gricko is so funny

DISPLACER BEAST KITTY!!!!! YES!!!!!

How many days/nights have these guys been in Prismeer? 4? 5? 6? (The only times I remember them sleeping is: Night at the inn, Frog palace, Mushroom forest high, Pixie camp sleepover, Jabberwock death and now here at little oak)

If Torbek was gone for an hour and that was five years, most of these kid’s parents probably don’t even realize they’ve been kidnapped and are missing

It’s canon to me that my S/I and Torbek sleep on a pile on the floor like Gricko does with Hootsie (Besties with abandonment issues and a love of physical affection uwu)

Who the hell names their kids Bongo and Flute???

My S/I Canonically knows Goblin but I feel like they wouldn’t tell Gricko or Torbek cause they like to eavesdrop in those two’s dumbass conversations lmao

BONGOLLOMEW??????

“Skibidi on god” “fr fr no cap” “BUSSIN!!” I’ve changed my mind, I hate these people /j

DO I ACTUALLY GET TO LISTEN TO AVANTRIS AND CHILL??? POGGGGERS!!!

Gricko turns into a milkshake via Frosty’s mage hand /j

THEY ORDERED $400 WORTH OF PIZZA FOR THE RING OF CHAOS ONE SHOT???? THATS SO FUCKIN MUCH, MACE!

Nikkie loves Fortnite and that makes me happy bc I like Fortnite

Thank you Derek for teaching me waterdrop and breaking nose sound effect :)

#self ship #self shipping #self ship stuff #self ship community #self insert #*cries so hard* #a family can be a bunch of criminals and their adopted satyr child

[ariesbilly]

St*ddies are fucking insane, I was in the boy meets world tag, cause I was feeling kinda nostalgic rn, and the amount of people comparing them to cory and shawn... unbelievable. Those two weren't even friends, steve didn't even care that he died, what a fucking reach lmao.

THIS WILL TRIGGER A SLEEPER AGENT WITHIN ME GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!

I track the bmw tag and I’ve only ever seen b*lers in there and honestly? That shit don’t compare either like sorry babes but you’re faves will never be shory they don’t have the range 💅🏻

If I see a stugly in there tho…. I will get violent

Y’all WISH edbitch was a Shawn you WISH he had the depth I’m gonna actually lose my mind over this lmfao

Got I want that man dead….er than he already is 😌

#briana answers things

[iman2]

???

Uhh…

You’re not divine.

I don’t care about these things. What’s the problem?

You’re the fake me. That’s what they’re saying.

Two completely different stories. 2009 so, you’re r1hanna. Nice.

Even in death he wants to be with you?

It’s cuz he never got the chance. Nor did I. He’s dead.

I’m the real black princess.

I’m biracial.

I’m the twin. Trust me.

No. Maybe you have the better movie, according to some. It suits you, you are a frog for real. Frog-bat. You’re eying the re-release?

Yup! 🪄🪄✨✨✨ and nanam1. It’ll be crazy.

I don’t think so. It’s not about that. I don’t care to talk to you, so why are you here?

I love the film. Cuz it makes me look better than you.

Yeahh… but maybe, wish will eat the frog movie! Tiana is boring and I’m fun and cute. 💕💕 hold on.

Who are you?

You can’t do me shit. You think that was fucking funny? You think that shit was funny?

Yes. LMAO. SCHIZO. Your delusional fans tried fighting with me too. Made me some of them cry. What do you want?

Everybody thinks I’m the dragon.

Literally NOBODY thinks that. C-error would’ve gotten away with it.

It’s the Persephone part.

You’re Chris now. Hold on…

Take it down.

Leave it up! :)

You’re crazy. I’m the twin. I made the subliminal. I’m real amm1ka. No one is going to know you.

You’re afraid of future. Them’s your problems. This is a Christopher story.

You’re writing a fanfic. The twin is me.

Are you dumb? He’s on the blog?

But I WON.

What is up with alyuh today? I didn’t say a damn thing about you.

Subliminal. Subliminal. Subliminal. I’m cool! I’m cool! I’m funny! 🪄🪄🪄✨✨

And then I’ll go and it’s 15 views and y’all are crying. Someone doesn’t think you’re me. Big whoop…you have the biggest Persephone piece. So if I get rid of you, I’ll get the whole part.

You’re fucking DONE.

Girl, I didn’t even mention you.

Me and him are cut from the same cloth. We are one.

Hmmm…so talk about you tomorrow?

I’m the TRUTH. I ONLY TELL THE TRUTH.🪄🪄✨✨✨

Idk what to do. I’ll just wait for him to read this. It’s weird…something feels delicate. Like I’ll press the wrong button.

#… #???

[thelovelybitten]

vera’s first watch of south park — season six (part 1)

i’m blazing thru these seasons like it’s nothing omg. happy tho, i like it more and more each day.

EPISODE 1:

new intro ???? the old one will be missed

TIMMY TIMMY TIMMY TIMMY best part of the new intro

THE BUTTERS SHOW GHBGBFDJ HE’S SO JFKBSKJD

butters why are u in kenny’s sweater

oh. that’s why

stan still referring to butters as kenny haha

kyle spitting facts. once again

STAN NOT THE LYING

KYLE TRYING NOT TO LAUGH

THEN THEY ALL WATCHING CARTMAN ON THE PHONE

nah butters was real for saying no

“kenny would have done it.” STAN NOT THE PEER PRESSURE GOOD LORD

y’all is gaslighting him >:(

oh my god.

poor butters :’(

the three boys are so terrible for this

like poor baby boy

oh no oh NO BUTTERS IS IN FOR IT

the BOYS ARE SO MEAN

BUTTERS IS SO FUCKING REAL FOR CALLING OUT THE BOYS

oh fuck the largest PUTT PUTT GOLF COURSE ?? butters winning as he should

oh god butters gonna be grounded for a decade

CARTMAN FDJBKBFDSKFS HE LOOKS SO SILLY

i know cartman ain’t abt to beat up his lovely mother BC IT’S ON SIGHT

what the FUCK CARTMAN

WHATEVER, WHATEVER THANK YOU TIKTOK

this 4 month child is wild

WHAT IS THIS MELODY BUTTERS ??#?2/31?

EPISODE 2:

i miss the old intro

wait kenny isn’t in the postcard

so he’s actually dead dead??? FUCK :’(

STOP CALLING BUTTERS KENNY >:(

i hate how they making butters do all this shit god it’s sad

wait what the fuck

EW DON’T MAKE BUTTERS EAT HIS OWN-

I’MMA THROW UP NOW

it’s AIDES NOT AIDS GOD DAMMIT

oh no butters i hope he slims down for his own sanity

cartman. don’t talk to butters to like that u are no different jackass

GUYS STOP

U ARE 9 YEARS OLD U CANNOT PERFROM LIPOSUCTION SURGERY

honestly if this gets graphic i’m skipping thru it

CARTMAN EW WHAT THE FUCK

this is so fucked up i can’t condone this my sons are feral and i wanna protect butters so badly

HE’S LITERALLY DYING CHRIS

OH LORD.

i’m so disappointed with my kids rn

like poor fuckin butters he’s so baby and he’s being bullied

what the hell oh my god the sign

butters gets beat by his own parents??? god the trauma for butters

EPISODE 3:

god this is almost unwatchable

TAKE ON ME SO REAL

where is miss liane ???

i’m so sad rn

also irritated

IKE !!!! HE’S LITTLE SKI FIT

can we get the shit off of butters’ face

OH NO IKE MY BABY

FRENCH FRIES, PIZZA

stan is like. wtf

I KNOW UR NOT SHITTING ON MY BEST SON, MY FAVE SON

stan is so unbothered as he should

the parents JUST WANNA SKI

heather?

STAN IS 8 BFFR

EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS WATCHING STAN RACE LMAO

STAN IS SO BABY FJBKDBFKDSKG

BUTTERS BUSTIN IT DOWN AS HE SHOULD HE ATE THOSE 4 SECONDS

stan: :| he’s so unfazed

AYO ???? I’M WORRIED FOR STANLEY

he’s GOT HEATHER ???

YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HEATHER

i wish wendy was the female lead fucking missed opportunity

let’s GO SKIER!STAN

hc: stan is so athletic, football? baseball? skiing? HE IS A BEAST

i also hc stan being good at hockey too

let’s GO STAN MY BOYYYY

kyle looking at a picture of him and stan style crumbs

stan is doing so well i love him

NOT THE TITS KNSGBSBSD

stan main slayer

so FUCKING WEIRD

EPISODE 4:

okay boys this show is. a choice.

SHELLY WATCHING BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SO REAL AND TRUE OF HER

y’all robbing butters

OOP. CARTMAN.

BUTTERS IS STILL HOLDING SHELLY’S TAMPONS GSKBDSGBKS

kids YOU CAN’T GO INTO A BAR

boat going through anger management i would too

DAMN SHELLY GOING THRU IT

i feel u miss girl, i feel u.

lord LMAOOOOOO

*immediately calls clyde* so FUCKING VALID

EPISODE 5:

my fucking KIDS I HAVE MISSED THEM SO

YO WHAT THE FUCK NOT THE CASUAL BEHEADING

SAVE THE BBY COWS

KYLE DON’T DO IT

cartman is A FREAK

kyle destroying cartman as he should

stan in HIS LITTLE SPY SUIT

“we have to carry them one by one” is carrying TWO AT A TIME

stan fighting his parents SO SLAY OF HIM

KYLE ATE TOO

oh no BUTTERS U GOT THIS

BUTTERS NAMED ALL THE COWS OMG A BABY

LIANE A QUEEN

stan becoming a vegan??? he won’t last i’m sorry

craig’s FAMILY JKFDSNJKFDKS

i love dogs thank u for ur service

cartman IS SLAYING FOR THIS

8 FUCKING DAYS HOLY SHIT

stan looks so bad omg

wtf

TOLD Y’ALL HE COULDN’T BE VEGAN

lowkey this is fuel for my fanfic

#faves: south park #viv watches #this season. is. interesting to say the least. #that’s abt it

[bepoprotectionsquad]

I’m having a lot harder of a time here than I thought I would. Any kind of encouragement or kindness would be great.

#Eoin whines #eoin hates hospitals #eoin dislikes doctors #eoin REALLY dislikes being forgotten about for hours and hours #I want my pain meds or my girlfriend #I want both actually #I really just wanna cry but my brain is blocking it #today I have eaten half a cheese burger #a handful of smart cheddar corn #4 oz of apple juice #and I’m working on some pudding right now #I wish I was fucking dead y’all lmao #non fandom post #eoin’s medical shit

[gaysimpsstuff]

Could I get a Hawks in his rut headcanon?

No problem, Anon! I’m sorry this took so long, I wanted it to be perfect since I really like thinking about Hawks’ avian traits, and I know people really like it too. I hope it’s good! 

Hawks Rut Headcannons

Genre: fluff, smut

Type: headcannons (so... many... headcannons)

Warnings: animal traits, Keigo being possessive af, the commission being assholes, sickness, food, breeding kink, lots of horny times

Other: most of this is based off of real research, but some of it also comes from personal preference. @keilemlucent and their fic Best Nest very much inspired many other headcannons, check them outI They’re one of my favorite creators, and the linked fanfic is one of my favorites! Hope it’s okay I tagged you here lmao

NSFW Taglist: @smolchildfangirl @combat-wombatus @mandalorian-baby-bird @waffleareniceandfluffy (Lemme know if you wanna be added to or removed from the Taglist)

Remember to check if requests are open before sending in a request. This was made while requests were still open.

Pre-Rut Behaviors

Grooming and Preening

Before his rut, Keigo starts to feel dirty. He just seems to accumulate more dust and dirt during hero work than usual. He’ll come back home grumbling about blood in his hair and little bits of concrete in/on his skin.

He will insist you clean him off. So you get to brush his hair, put creams on his face, and wash him off in the shower.

Finally, there’s the preening. If he lets you preen his wings, then you know he’s in it for life. He loves and trusts you with everything he has. 

Expect him to press his nose against yours a lot.

Possessiveness and Protection

You’ll notice he gets more clingy, more possessive of you. He gets really controlling in the days leading up to his rut, so you’ll be annoyed a  l o t.

Just text all your friends and family that you’ve been swamped at work, it’d be a little weird to say “hey guys, sorry I can’t hang out, my boyfriend’s horomones are crazy right now and he gets really insecure if I so much as exist near anyone but him.”

You would come home from work and he’s already on you, sniffing your body to see who you’ve been around, and to see if any of them were attracted to you at all.

If he had any kind of sneaking suspicion that anyone posed a threat, he’s literally laying on you and rolling on top of you to try and get his scent on you. Even if no one will smell it except him, he’s gonna do it.

He’s so protective of you, and if something tiny hurts you or makes you upset...

He.

Is.

Angry.

Someone was rude to you? He’s screaming at them.

Someone tries to hurt or touch you? You’ve got to hold him back to stop him from ripping that person apart limb from limb.

All that x100 when he’s approaching his rut.

One person accidentally bumps into you? He takes it as passive aggressiveness even if they’re very apologetic about it.

You stub your toe on a table? He’s smashed the table and burnt it then thrown the ashes in the ocean. 

If you’re sad about something he can’t beat up, he feels horrible. He’s not the best at comforting people, so he’s just grabbing onto you and not letting go, telling you how much he loves and cares for you, and just how amazing you make his life feel.

If you don’t give him enough attention, he gets really huffy, and it gets worse leading up to his rut. 

You lifted your hands from his head to reach for your buzzing phone? He’s already whining and pouting and begging you to give him more head-pats again.

Nesting

He’ll leave hints asking for you to make a nest, usually saying things like “Our bed needs some changing, don’t you think?” “Don’t you wish our space was more personalized?” 

If you don’t get the hint, he’ll be very sad, and he thinks you’re rejecting him. So you’d better be good at reading into things and realizing he’s approaching mating season and wants you to build a nest.

He comes home one day and sees you piled blankets, pillows, and dirty clothes in the living room, sprayed with his cologne and you’re cologne and/or perfume. He pulls you into his arms and spins around with you, giggling and laughing.

He’s so happy you made a nest for the two of you. 

He starts putting pretty shiny things he likes around the nest. Your toothbrush went missing and you found it in the mountain that was your nest.

Once, you were in desperate need of a clean shirt, and the only clean shirt you could find was in the nest. So you picked it up to put it on, and two seconds later, Keigo was in front of you, hands in your shirt, staring at you with such a fierce intensity, you felt almost like a villain.

He was very mad at you for taking things from your shared nest.

He leaves feathers all around the penthouse, but they’re all piled mostly around the nest, they’re for your protection so don’t try and throw them away.

Noises

He also gets really noisy, so he’ll be ‘singing’ and squawking and cooing constantly. He feels really bad about it so he might get you some noise-blocking headphones for when he’s screeching into the sky in the dead of night about how “THIS IS MY FUCKING TERRITORY Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS STAY AWAYYYY!”

You really think bird’s springtime songs are about love? Nah he’s mostly screaming about how he’s gonna fuck his partner and how the neighborhood  practically belongs to him.

Someone called the police once, tired of all the shouting, but the officers backed off when they saw who was doing all the shouting. Most of your neighbors are used to the screaming during early spring.

Rut End-game

On the third and second to last day before his rut, he gets a sudden burst of energy and an increased appetite. He refuses to eat anything unless you’ve made it though, so let’s best hope you can cook at least a little.

When he was younger, his hungry times before his rut were spent either eating anything and everything he can get his hands on. The commission broke that behavior very quickly though, so he’d starve himself before his rut, which would result in him getting very sick from a lack of energy and sustenance. That plus the extreme arousal was a recipe for pain and suffering.

So when you noticed he suddenly stopped eating, you insisted on making food for him, telling him that you wouldn’t let him go hungry ever. That was the first rut in years that didn’t feel like torture.

You’re cooking almost all the time, and he’s constantly eating everything you give him, running around from room to room while he waits for his next meal. He’s basically a hobbit.

In the last day or two before his rut, he suddenly has no energy, and starts getting hot and cold flashes. He’s sniffling, curled up in your shared nest, dirty tissues surrounding him. He comes in and out of consciosness, and when he’s awake, he’s whining and complaining about exhaustion and aches.

Physical Changes

Most of these happen in the last few days leading up to his rut, so it’ll be very sudden. These physical changes is what causes the extreme hunger and sickness.

His feathers darken several shades, and they become super sensitive. They also seem to grow in size, so when you cuddle, you’re smothered by them more than usual.

He also gains an extra couple inches in height, so expect some teasing now that he’s just that little bit taller. His hair also gets thicker and stronger, that’s so you can pull on it when he fucks you.

His nails get longer and darker, and they’re impossible to file or cut. So when he holds you and touches you, he often scratches you on accident. He’s really apologetic about it, but honestly you could totally paint his nails and pretend they’re acrylics if you’re into that.

His teeth get sharper, and he starts biting you just for fun. Bites your finger, hand, wrist, neck, even your nose. He underestimated just how strong his teeth are, and he made you bleed first time he bit you.

His whole body is very sensitive, so head-pats, back rubs, wings, and even his touching his feet can get him to the verge of cumming.

his tongue is longer, and it’s a whole lot stronger. He could probably carry a full plastic water bottle with his tongue (which isn’t a lot, but for a tongue it’s very much a lot).

His voice drops a whole octave and a half- mans is sounding almost like Corpse now. Maybe Markiplier? Anyways, if you’ve got a voice kink, you’re in luck

His dick changes too, it gets bigger, and he grows a lump at the base of it, between his shaft and balls. His balls get smaller until they’re barely noticable beneath what he calls him ‘knot.’

His eyes become sharper too, so don’t try and hide anything from him. 

Rut (MAJOR NSFW)

Everyone already knows Keigo has a breeding kink, but he hasn’t brought it up with you until now. It just kind of- happens. As he’s drilling into you, he suddenly starts blabbering about fucking a kid into you, and how hot you’d look all round with his kids. Might be a little weird for those of you who physically cannot give birth to children (my lovely AMABS and infertile AFABS). 

He can’t control it, so it’s especially weird if you don’t even want kids. If you can get pregnant, you’d better double check that you’re taking your birth control. And get to know some good clinics just in case.

However, if you do want kids, if you want to start a biological family woth Keigo, fuck. You will not be able to handle his happiness and horniness in that moment when you beg him to get you pregnant.

He is going to mark you up. Hickies, bruises, hand prints, bite marks, plus his scent. He needs everyone to know that you are his. He wants to claim you, make sure you know you belong to him. No one else can have you but him.

Halfway through your fuckfest, he starts making animalistic noises. He’s growling, roaring, whining, chirping, etc. This is around the time when he stops thinking about you, so he’ll really rough you up during this phase.

This man was a virgin before you, so this is also the first rut he’s ever going to have with another person, so he’ll hold himself back a lot. He needs you to reassure him at every step, tell him how good you feel, how you want him to fuck you, how not only are you okay with him going all out, you want him too.

Did he just cum? You think you’re finished? HA! No way in fucking hell is he finished after one, two, five, ten... so many rounds. He just keeps going and going and going and how the fuck is he still hard? He cums so fucking quickly, so much, and then keeps going.

When he finally does go soft, his whole personality changes. it’s like he didn’t just fuck you stupid. He immediately goes into ‘protect’ mode, which includes cuddles, him spoon-feeding you, petting you like a dog, and singing to you.

He puts the nest near a window so he can keep an eye out for possible threats. Just like “gotta keep mate safe. Is that the mailman? NO FUCK NO GET OUT OF HEREEEE!” 

One moment, he’s fucking you, and the next he’s leaning halfway out the window, screaming at some poor dude walking his dog. Remember, he’s still naked. You learned your lesson after that and kept the windows locked, and warned the neighbors to stay out of sight of the window, at least for the time being.

You’re going to feel very dirty, because he does not want you cleaning off the sweat, cum, and tears from your body. He likes that you smell like him, and you washing it off makes him feel rejected. 

He’s going to break a lot of things, so move pictures and vases into another room and lock the fuck out of that room. Or else he will break all of it.

He thinks any clothes you’re wearing are mocking him, so wear clothes you hate when his rut starts, then get used to being naked for a couple days. 

Oh yeah, his whole rut lasts one to five days. He’s fucking you for about three days on average.

He fucks you until you faint, and then keeps going until he’s out of ‘fuck’ mode and into ‘protect’ mode. A few times, he fucked you unconscious in the middle of the afternoon and then kept fucking you until the sun rose. 

Yeah, he’s got that much energy.

Don’t worry, during the whole time, he lets out pheromones with a strong vanilla-chocolaty scent that keeps your body and mind relaxed. 

There’ve been times when he’s just fucking into you and your water bottle is just out of reach.

During his rut, he has no shame. Let’s hope your walls are soundproofed, or else your neighbors will all know how he fucks you. 

He will not restrain you or hurt you in any way during his rut. So no degredation, no collars or chains, the only thing keeping you in the nest is his weight on top of you.

He gets upset if you try to touch yourself, things it’s you trying to tell him that he’s not satisfying you enough. 

He wants you to cum as many times as him, which is difficult because of his increased sensitivity, so he’s using every skill he knows to get you cumming again and again and again.

Most of the time, he’s going hard, rough, and spilling absolute filth from his cock and mouth, but in the last few hours of his rut, he suddenly gets emotional.

He’s rocking up against you, holding you close to his body and blabbering about you

How much he loves you

How good you make him feel

How he wouldn’t want anyone else by his side for his rut

How you’re his mate for life

How he’ll protect you and keep you safe.

Please be gentle with him, he’s very vulnerable near the end of his rut, and he’ll cry very easily.

When he’s nearing his last load, he makes out with you sloppily, trying to talk as he shoves his tongue down your throat.

He finishes off by  pushing his knot all the way inside you, and stays there for an hour.

This is the softest moment, and he’s covering your body in kisses. 

His knot pushes these small eggs inside you, and you have the lovely job of pushing them all out the next day. 

Post Rut

When his knot deflates, he finally pulls out and starts cleaning you off. 

He’ll carry you around and finally gives you a bath, constantly making sure you’re okay.

He’ll give you lots of massages and he’ll cook for you. He’s constantly thanking you for helping him, telling you he didn’t deserve it.

Just kiss him on the cheek, tell him you had fun, and that you love him so very very much.

He needs the most reassurance now than ever before.

He’s also very tired, so you’ll be taking care of each other.

Then his ‘post-rut’ resets, and he sleeps for hours.

Then he gets super hungry, and the two of you make huge meals and just kinda binge eat for a day or two.

Then his physical changes go back to normal, and you have a happy lil bird boy who simps for you so hard

#bnha #mha #keigo takami #mha hawks #bnha hawks #bnha x reader #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #mha x reader #takami keigo #hawks rut #hawks headcanons #hawks drabble #hawks imagine #keigo takami x you #hawks smut #keigo smut #keigo rut #rut #poc reader #male reader #hawks x male reader #hawks x trans reader #trans reader #gender neutral reader #hawks x gender neutral reader

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 313: Deku VS Lady Nagant

Previously on BnHA: Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai Lady Nagant showed up to fire a cupid’s arrow into my heart, and a bunch of literal bullets into my son. Deku was all “oh shit it’s Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai, what do I do, let me think back to Hawks’s advice for a sec.” Flashback!Hawks was all “anyway Deku so if my super-hot badass murder senpai ever shows up you’re basically screwed so you’d better abscond the fuck out of there.” Present!Deku was all “lol idek why I flashed back to that conversation since I’m just going to do the exact opposite of what Hawks said” and charged directly toward Nagant because WHY NOT. Overhaul was all “waah I need to get back to my boss who I put in a coma out of love” and Nagant was all “jesus christ why did I even bring you here” and had a flashback to AFO who was all “ILU NAGANT IMMA GIVE YOU AN EXTRA QUIRK SO PLEASE CAPTURE DEKU FOR ME PLEASE AND THANKS” and yeah. Shit is all over the place right now and I love it.

Today on BnHA: All Might gets attacked by a pair of discount assassins and is all “Call an ambulance! ...BUT NOT FOR ME” and it’s really badass but also I really wish he would stop tempting fate like this. Lady Nagant is all “[casually flies around town shooting shit]” and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t read an entire chapter of just that. Deku is all, “[gets shot (≥_<)]” and releases a giant Smokescreen which prompts En to show up. En is all, “( •᷄⌓•᷅ ) (⌣̀ Δ⌣́) ( •̀_•́ )σ (¬､¬) (눈_눈)” which I consider to be a high point of both the chapter and of my life. The chapter ends with Deku using the Third’s quirk to launch a bunch of random objects at Nagant so that he can jump up and grab her arm all sneaky-like, and I’m sure this is going to prompt another week’s worth of discourse that I don’t care about at all, but fuck it, I’m having a good time.

OH WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO ALL MIGHT WELL THAT’S NICE I GUESS. CONGRATS ON NOT BEING DEAD

you named your car??

you named it Hercules??

I love you so much??

please marry me you giant fucking dork???

lmao speaking of huge fucking dorks

who the fuck are you clowns. la dee da we’re gonna murder All Might with our synchronized spear attack!! I mean... they’re clearly trying their best... maybe I should just be nice and politely hype them up like All Might is so clearly trying to do

like okay, but we all agree that this is actually the least intimidating attack any of us has ever seen, right?? these guys zipped up their hoodies all serious-like and are trying to attack All Might and Hercules with their Walmart tiki torches, but just, no?? right?? like the only way this could possibly be effective is if they were trying to kill All Might with secondhand embarrassment

“those are assassins” this is a VERY generous assessment, All Might

OH MY GOD THE TIKI TORCHES ACTUALLY KILLED THE FUCK OUT OF HERCULES

[slaps roof of car] this baby can fit so many weaponized festive backyard lighting solutions in it

and yet, even after watching this with my own two eyes, I still can’t take these dudes seriously. idek what it is. anyways r.i.p. Hercules, I loved you a lot but I guess you weren’t actually a very good armored car were you

omg they didn’t know it was All Might??

okay 1) for a moment there I was like “oh hey maybe they’re not so bad after all” but then a moment later it was like “ah nope, they are.” like, that was an interesting .06 second emotional journey there. anyways 2) All Might you have my permission to kick their asses for this disrespect, and 3) anyone else all of a sudden getting “wouldn’t this be an interesting time for Stain to suddenly show up” vibes?? no?? just me???

(ETA: hmm tbh I’ve still got those vibes and they haven’t gone away lol. Stain?? you out there buddy?? do you want to be cool for just once in your life. ball’s in your court pal.)

OH SNAP ALL MIGHT ARE YOU REALLY GONNA DO IT ARE YOU GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES

PROTECTIVE DAD MODE ACTIVATED?? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I’M HERE FOR THAT SHIT, SO YEAH, FEEL FREE

omg he’s shouting at them about how much Deku has suffered lmao and they’re just like falling over from being scolded

so they have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about though, right? “SIR THIS IS A WENDY’S” well whatever, you killed his pet car so he’s in a bad mood now

OH MY GOD

LIKE, JUST SO WE’RE ALL CLEAR, THESE FOUR PAGES SO FAR HAVE MADE ALMOST ZERO SENSE. LIKE MAYBE 2% SENSE TOPS. BUT ASK ME IF I CARE. GO AHEAD AND ASK. I SAID GO AHEAD, IT’S OKAY. ...NO I DON’T CARE AT ALL THANK YOU FOR ASKING

(ETA: also, the more I look at this panel, the more I’m just like, why the hell would you phrase it like that though, sob. way to doubly tempt fate?? are you trying to give Horikoshi a challenge??)

and now back to Deku who is randomly bouncing around the city and narrating it to himself just in case he was confused about why he was doing this

who are you talking to Deku. but thanks we appreciate it

man you gotta love that overconfidence. the smartest guy in the world warned you away from this lady, so SURE, LET’S RUN RIGHT UP TO HER. “I APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT, FLASHBACK!HAWKS, BUT I’LL TAKE IT FROM HERE” well okay then!!

I think it would be funny if RHA.com put little Buzzfeed-style polls in between the chapter pages so they could survey people at random intervals as they read their way through the chapter. like, you finish this page and then there’s a little poll there asking “do you think Deku’s plan of catching up to Lady Nagant and finding out where Shigaraki is will work?”, and you click “no” just like everyone else and then nod as the results show that 97% of your fellow readers also picked “no”, and you chuckle to yourself wondering how many of the 3% accidentally clicked on the wrong option by mistake, and then you keep on reading

ANYWAY, SO

HOW’S THAT PLAN WORKING OUT FOR YOU SO FAR DEKU. nice kick, though!!

omggggggg

ouch

update: Deku’s plan not really working out. sources tell me my boy has been fucking shot. this is an ongoing story and we will keep you posted with the latest developments as they come in

wait what

feel free to explain to the rest of us what all of this “UNLESS...” and “THAT POSSIBILITY...” shit means anytime, Deku

oh lol did he realize she could fly??

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE, CNN’s John King reports that Deku is still fucked. eyewitness reports now coming in that Nagant is doing no-look shots and basically not even giving a fuck. sources described her mannerisms and expression as “sexy, but in like an effortless sort of way.” we will continue to bring you the latest

so now there’s basically an entire page of Deku being all “ah fuck so she’s basically closing in and she could already hit me with impossible accuracy even from Far Away, so if that’s the case then her being Up Close is probably going to be even worse!” making good use of that Big Hero Brain there, Deku

so now what, you’re doing some kind of spiraling kick thing?? how is that going to help

oh lol he’s using Smokescreen to create some cover. aww, good for you Deku you named one of your Smokescreen attacks

OH NO LADY DON’T TELL ME AFO DIDN’T EVEN FILL YOU IN ON THE BASICS

seriously, AFO?? you basically told her what Deku’s exact strategy was going to be but then couldn’t be assed to drop that little, small, barely notable piece of knowledge that Deku is rocking multiple quirks?? is it supposed to be a secret or something?? you dropped the ball here man

damn this is getting intense now

(ETA: the way En is poking Deku’s head in that first panel is fucking sending me, I love this guy so much omg.)

well then what are you planning, Deku?? I’m actually really curious!! I am genuinely starting to be invested in this fight scene not only in the “wanting to see who wins and how that impacts the plot” sense, but also in the “wanting to see how it happens because the choreography and strategy is actually pretty cool” sense, which honestly hasn’t happened for quite a while now! this is fun

anyway so what’s up Deku, are you going to use another quirk?? I’ve been speculating that he hasn’t actually unlocked the last two yet (since Two and Three didn’t exactly seem convinced when we last saw them), but maybe I’m about to be proven wrong

(ETA: well he clearly has Three’s obviously, but Two’s is still MIA, and that’s the one I am of course the most curious about. that’s the one we’re all curious about, let’s be real.)

OH SNAP???

AHHHH I’M HYPED LOL. ANOTHER SHINY NEW QUIRK LOL SHOULD I PUT UP THE USUAL DISCOURSE DISCLAIMER

(ETA: so yeah, after thinking on it, I’m not gonna say “please no Deku discourse on my blog” this week, but I probably will ignore any discourse that does come my way though, just because I don’t have much interest in getting involved in what would probably be a pretty repetitive discussion. like, I can just sum up my opinions (which is what they are) here instead. in fact here they are lol:

1) I like the SIXQUIRKS and I like seeing Deku be a badass.

2) I also don’t think Deku is too OP. more like he’s exactly as OP as he needs to be at the moment, given that we’re approaching the end of the series. I expect the other kids will also be pretty damn OP when we see them fight again. we’re just at that point now where they’re all badasses (as well they should be; they’ve grown a lot and they deserve it). it’s just that Deku’s the one we’re getting to see right now.

3) of course I miss Kacchan and the others, but for me this vibes much closer to the MVA arc where even though I missed them, I was still having a blast (as opposed to the dark days of the Basement arc where I was pretty much losing it lol). like, even though Kacchan’s my favorite, I still love Deku a lot and this arc has been amazing for him getting to shine on his own (for like the first time, really).

4) y’all know I love the OFA plot and I’ve never been shy about that lol. I like all of the Vestiges a lot. Banjou and his over the top personality; En and his “guy you thought would be serious and :| all the time but is actually hyper-animated and ALL OVER THE PLACE” energy; Shiro who actually is a :| sort of guy lol; Three who I still expect will be fleshed out in a more detailed flashback at some point; and of course Two, who, well. you know what I think about him lol. Bakuverse is still on the table and I’m still hyped. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we still have yet to see Two actually talk to Deku (as opposed to talking to the other Vestiges while Deku is distracted). did he lend him his power yet?? or is he still holding out?? either way it’s definitely going to be a Big Thing when it finally happens and I can’t wait to see it.

5) Lady Nagant is Everything and just because Deku grabbed her arm doesn’t mean the fight is over yet lol. Overhaul hasn’t come into play yet either. not to mention that even if the fight is over, the “where do we go from here” part still has me excited either way. her connection to Hawks and the HPSC is very intriguing and we’ve barely touched on that as of yet; she definitely has more of a role to play in this.

6) last but not least, I feel like every week the discussion is all about how much focus Deku’s getting, and how OP he is or isn’t, and OFA this and OFA that, but meanwhile I’m actually so invested in the character development here though?? the way Deku has distanced himself from everyone (except for the Vestiges, because of course they’re already dead so it’s not like they can die again lol)?? the way he’s pushing himself far too hard and we can see the shadows in and under his eyes, and the fact that he never smiles, and even All Might has remarked on how he isn’t taking care of himself at all?? the fact that he’s so single-mindedly obsessed with focused on stopping AFO?? the fact that he’s still the same sweet old Deku despite everything and was so kind to that fox lady with the umbrella, but there was also something so sad about that scene because it felt like a reminder of the type of hero that he wants to be, but that he’s not allowed to be right now?? because the stakes are too high and the world is falling apart?? and he feels like he’s the only one who can do something about it?? and that he has to be?? and that he is putting so much pressure on himself right now, and it’s absolutely too much pressure for any one person to bear, and I feel like no one is fucking talking about this lol goddammit.

anyway so yeah. I have feels about this, and every week that slow-burn angst is getting more and more intense behind the scenes, and I feel like it’s all going to hit a breaking point eventually. sooner rather than later. it really feels like a mirror of Katsuki’s post-Kamino arc. where all that angst was just churning below the surface for like twenty chapters and then it finally was like “okay it’s time” and it all came bursting out and we got the best five chapters of the fucking series (in my admittedly biased estimation lol).

basically, I know that most of fandom is billing this as either the “villain hunt” arc or the “solo Deku SIXQUIRKS fighting arc” or whatever. but for me, it’s always been and still is the Deku Angst arc lol. the cool fights are a sexy bonus (the worldbuilding less so because even though it’s interesting to see society at such a low point, it’s also very depressing and gets old pretty fast), but for me the thing that’s really keeping me engaged chapter after chapter is seeing Deku like we’ve never seen him before. seeing him all quiet and withdrawn and brooding and focused on AFO, AFO, AFO, and seeing that “he just doesn’t take himself into account” mentality taken to extremes. I am invested in that. I’m soaking up that angst each and every week, and I’m invested in seeing what comes of it. it’s a big picture thing. week to week this arc might just seem like a bunch of villain fight scenes, sure. but Deku’s emotional journey is the thread that’s going to carry this arc through from beginning to end, and for that I’m willing to be patient.

anyway that turned into a BIG OL’ RANT there but yeah! so those are my thoughts on the disk horse as it currently stands. and like I said, I’m open to discussion, but tbh I will probably just wind up repeating these same talking points endlessly so just a fair warning lol.)

anyway so Three says Deku has yet to use his quirk at ALL but now he’s trying to combine it with another quirk?? damn. also please check out En’s face here you guys

En launching a sneak attack up my favorite character list by the sheer power of his expressions alone. he really knows how to make the most of his screentime

OH DAMN DEKU

at this point the 3% from that hypothetical poll earlier are starting to feel prettttty damn smug, I’ll bet. well shit

what in the fuck

?? so like releasing his chi or whatnot?? isn’t that basically just like base OFA all over again?? also Deku did you seriously just apologize to Gran’s cape

update: Nagant has turned her eyeball into a gun

hm. hmmmmmmm. ...okay yep, still somehow sexy

anyway so she’s just floating up there building suspense, as one does. lord I sure hope she has good reflexes because something tells me she’s going to need them

OH SNAP HE THREW GRAN’S CAPE AS A DECOY WHAAAAT OKAY THAT’S SOME SMART SHIT DEKU

LOL SHE’S MAD NOW

JESUS CHRIST SHE JUST NEVER TAKES A GODDAMN BREAK FROM BEING AWESOME HUH

DEKU ARE YOU JUST THROWING EVERY DAMN THING IN YOUR INVENTORY

but without the cape and the hood how will you continue to look like an enigmatic badass. you really can’t. which means we might finally be moving on from the wandering nomad part of this arc, stay tuned

LOL YOU MANIAC

I hope he went full Kacchan with the dialogue there. his face sure looks like it lol. popped out of a building all mad fdskljlkj omg

well this was fun, shit. I still have basically no idea what Three’s quirk does though lol. like, can he use it to charge up objects with kinetic energy or something?? but then what was all of that talk about combining it with one of the other quirks?? or was that just because he was using Smokescreen at the same time??

(ETA: having seen and read an additional half-dozen explanations of Three’s quirk, I can say with confidence that I still have basically no idea what it is or does.)

anyway so!! Deku is a badasssssss but something tells me not to count Nagant out just yet even so. also I really enjoy seeing Deku flip out on people like he doesn’t have a fucking hole in his torso because it reminds me of A CERTAIN SOMEONE and I always love to see him channeling that feral energy; I feel like it’s been a while

anyways good luck to you both!! I truly wish that both of you could win. but if not, then maybe you can at least become friends instead. you have so much in common, you both can fly and have multiple quirks and you’re both badasses, and plus it would just be really funny to see the look on Hawks’s face lmao

#bnha 313 #midoriya izuku #lady nagant #bnha meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[darthmaulification]

(Idk why I thought this but I think it’s funny) Imagine din and reader going back to visit Karga for a job and reader is a apparent heart throb to most of the villagers (not that she knows) and like “hi mrs. Parker” Friday style, these women are see them walking by going “hi Reader~” with cara teasing of reader the whole time having to tell the ladies that reader is already taken with din.

A/N: you are my very first  request, so i decided to do a full, bonifide one shot! thank you so very much!! 🥰💕💕

oddly enough, din doesn’t show his bucket in this until the very end. 💀 it became really cara-centric for some reason. hope that’s okay! 😖

also, the trope of “everyone collectively loves person, but person is so utterly oblivious to it” is, without fail, one of the funniest bits any piece of media can pull lmao.

hope you enjoy! 💗

content: references of sex (kinda), saucy language, gender neutral!reader (my first time writing a gn reader 😲), reader being completely “no thoughts head empty” type of oblivious, cara just brutally teasing reader, soft!din makes an appearance!, cara is also kinda a bisexual icon???

word count: 1,775

“... What do you mean?” 

Cara looks at you strange. She searches your face for a few seconds longer, eyebrows furrowed, trying to see if you’re serious. 

“Are you fucking with me?” She deadpans evenly, and you tilt your head slightly, blinking. You slowly shake your head, raising an eyebrow.

“No...?” You drag out the word and Cara barks a sudden, loud laugh at your genuine confusion, tossing back her head as she does. She straightens up in her seat, still chuckling lightly, and picks up her glass of spotchka. Cara leans against the backrest, draping her free arm over it.

“You’re really not fucking with me, huh?” She mutters with a grin, bringing the glass to her lips and taking a low, long sip, her eyes not leaving yours. You frown, puzzled.

“Cara, I have no ide—"

“Everyone wants to fuck you.” Cara interrupts and it takes a moment for the blunt, vulgar words to register, but when they do you feel heat rise in your cheeks. You visibly recoil, sputtering out an answer.

“I— What are— There's no—” All Cara does as you fumble over your words, getting more and more red in the face, is shrug, an easy grin on her face.

“Yeah, everyone wants to get in your pants, can’t say I blame ‘em.” Her grin turns downright predatory and it gives you the final push to spit out a reply.

“WHAT?” The word comes out incredulous and far louder that you had meant, causing you to cringe at the sound of your voice reverberating in the cantina. People glance over at you and you give the crowd a sheepish, nervous smile. Thankfully, everyone turns back to whatever they were doing, no questions asked. Then your head whips back to Cara, whose all smug-looking, to shoot her a glare. Your face is positively burning, and you just know she can see it.

“Are you fucking with me?” You throw her own question back at her, but it falls flat because all it does is grow the shit-eating grin that’s plastered on Cara’s face. She shrugs, gesturing around lazily to the room at large.

“Jax, the Rodian over there, gives you puppy dog eyes, Kol and Zaltor— the Trandoshans, not the Togrutas, by the way— look at your ass every time they get, that pink Twi’lek gal over there practically fawns over you— think her names’ Numa or Nima or something, the Duros over there...”

Cara continues listing off more and more names, and with each one (some who you know and have spoken to) you feel yourself getting more and more flustered. You sink low in your chair, staring wide eyed into your spotchka, hands on your temples.

“Good Maker.” You groan, placing your hands over your face and slumping onto the table. Cara (finally) stops listing literally the entire population of the village and gazes at you quizzically. She tilts her head.

“Don’t like being the sex idol of the town?” She teases and you groan again, louder this time. You glare up at her through your fingers, still furiously blushing. Oh, how you wish Din was here to beat the snot out of Miss Dune...

“No. This is a nightmare.” You growl out, going back to digging your face into the table, hoping the sandstone would just swallow you whole. Before Cara can reply, a new voice sounds up.

“U-Um, hi.” You stiffen and turn your head to the side to see two Twi’leks, one taller than the other, standing next to the table. They seem a bit nervous, fidgeting with their lekku and rocking on their feet, but something tells you they’re here for... something. The moment you meet Cara’s gaze, your face blanches.

“Kill me now.”

“Hey, pretty ladies.”

You groan and Cara flirts at the exact same time, Cara’s strong voice unfortunately gaining the upper hand. Both Twi’lek giggle, and the taller of the two, the lavender skinned one, flutters her eyelashes. Even more unfortunately, you make eye contact with her. She flushes when you meet her gaze.

“O-Oh my— Stars, um hi!” She and her companion devolve into giggles again and you force yourself to sit up. Giving them a forced smile, you rest your hands under your chin and elbows on the table.

“Hello. What can I do for you?” You ask through gritted teeth, attempting to keep your strained voice relatively nice, while also fighting back both the blush that’s still on your cheeks and the urge to shoot Cara with your blaster. Thankfully, the Twi’leks have gotten over the apparent “meeting their idol” giggles, because now the shorter one places a dusty tan hand on the table and leans in. A bright, stunning smile spreads across her face, but something flirty burns in her eyes.

“Mm. Me and my sister here have just been seeing you around so often.” She says, voice a obviously practiced mix of playfully coy and feigning ignorance. You glance from her, to her lavender sister, then to Cara. And your luck must really be in the gutters, or maybe Cara just wants to torture you—or both— but the mercenary only offers you a grin, lifts her spotchka to her lips, and sips. Your hands curl into fists.

“Yeah, I—” 

“You’re talking to Mando’s squeeze, babes.” Cara interrupts yet again and all three sets of eyes land on her. Two of them moon-eyed and incredulous if not also disappointed, one of them so embarrassed that Carasynthia Dune, you are a dead woman—

“Really?” The lavender Twi'lek’s eyes are so blown wide you almost think they’d roll out of her head. Her sister looks just as awestruck, and both look a tad bit fearful. You go to speak, but Cara (you’re really starting to hate her) opens her mouth again and beats you to the cut.

“Mm hm. Y’all are hitting on the Mando’s sweetheart. Pretty bold, honestly, he’s real protective over this one.” The blush you put all your hard work into smothering returns full force at Cara’s words, and the Twi’leks start looking a bit flustered themselves, though for another reason.

“So sorry!” The lavender one breaks first and goes running off to a Rodian and Zabrak sitting at a far table. She leans in close, seeming to whisper something into their ears, and suddenly all three of them are looking at you with a strange mix of disappointment, lust, and fear. You hastily look away and hide your face behind your hand.

“Aw. Shame.” The tan Twi’lek purses her lips, pushing herself off the table, and you begrudgingly force yourself to look at her. She gives you that stunning smile again and winks.

“You know I’m here for you.” She says and sashays off to where her sister is. Across the room, she gives you another wink and flutters her fingers. Pretty sure that all your bloods’ in your face, you turn to Cara, slowly.

“Cara.” You say her name lowly, looking her dead in the eye. She’s grinning, and blows a lock of her hair out of her face. She feigns an unassuming, innocent look, but both you and her know better.

“Yeah?” She’s walking on thin ice and she knows it, but you also know she’s never been afraid of risk.

“I’m going to kill you.” You say, coming across as deadly serious as you possibly can. Cara’s grin widens, her eyes twinkling, and she downs the last of her spotchka.

“I know,” She starts and she shrugs, “But you know I couldn’t resist.”

You want to reach over and smack her a good one, but a voice alerts you to a certain someone at your side.

“Hey.” Din’s low, modulated voice gentle pulls your attention to him and you turn your head to look up at your silver-clad lover. Even with the dark T-visor, you know exactly where to look to find those soft, doe eyes beneath it. A small smile creeps across your face.

“Hey.” You reply and he offers a hand to you, which you gladly accept. Like always, his hand is large and warm and strong, and it makes you feel completely at peace. Din helps you up to your feet, settling you close, but not too close, to his side. 

“I got the next few pucks, and the kid’s already in the Crest, so we’re ready to head out...” Din trails off and tilts his head, and you can feel his curious gaze roam your face. 

“Your face is... pretty flushed. Are you feeling okay?” He asks it so gently and sweetly, his gloved hand still holding yours, that it’s almost enough to make you forget why your all disheveled in the first place. Letting out a forced, somewhat breathy laugh, you pull your hand away to cross your arms over your chest.

“Um, yeah, yeah— I’m good.” You assure him, but Din knows you so he turns his attention on Cara, whose sprawl in her seat, looking like a satisfied loth cat.

“What did you do?” He asks, keeping his voice neutral, but there’s a hint of that good ol’ Din Protectiveness seeping in too. Part of you celebrates that Din’s finally here to beat up Cara, but all the other parts of you just want to hop on back the Razor Crest and get the Hell out of here. Cara lazily raises her hands in mock surrender, tilting her head into her shoulder.

“Just playing, that’s all.” She replies, eying your spotchka from across the table. She and Din are in some type of staring match even as she reaches and snags your drink. You don’t care enough to protest. Din stares at Cara for a few seconds longer before he shifts on his feet and turns back to you.

“Ready to go, cyare?” His voice is like warm like sunshine, and it makes your entire being light up. You nod and smile, uncrossing your arms to grab his hand. His thick fingers close around yours, encasing your hand in his.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.” You reply as you both start walking, tethered to one another by the most sacred link you can while in public. Din and you walk side by side, a Mandalorian and his beloved, through the cantina and out the door.

Cara watches you leave, then looks around at all the inhabitants of the cantina who had also watched you and the Mando leave hand-in-hand. She nearly laughs at all the looks of disappointment. You really were the village heart throb.

And as Cara downs the last of her (your) spotchka, she ponders,

Dammit. Wish it was me instead of Mando.

#star wars #star wars din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #cara dune #anon #anon ask #request

[tanzaniiite]

Can I request hcs with Akaashi, bokuto, iwaizumi and Sugawara’s reactions to you playing drums on their ass, if that made any sense lol

BEAT THAT ASS LIKE IT’S BONGOS

w/ akaashi, bokuto, iwaizumi & sugawara

requests: OPEN

warnings: talk of butts

yes, this request makes perfect sense! don’t question the title, it just came to me 💀 thanks for the request!

oh this poor bby, he’s gonna be so confused

he doesn’t smack your butt cause he doesn’t get the appeal? and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable

but akaashi?? more like akasshi 🥴

i’ll take my leave now

n e ways you two would be hanging out in his backyard, just soaking in the sun and lounging around

he’s on a lounge chair reading a book while you’re laying next to him on your phone

he turns over to look for something in his bag and there it is

his ass in all it’s glory 👀

you’re mesmerized to say the least and you just,, you gotta touch it

so you smack his butt lightly, not too hard but it wasn’t soft either

when i tell you he snapped his neck to look at you,, whew chile

his eyes are wide and his face is just red, “y-y/n what are you doing?”

“i’m sorry baby, i just wanted to touch your butt. did i make you uncomfortable?” 🥺

he can’t even be mad at you, damn your cute face. keiji just shakes his head and looks away shyly

“no, it’s okay”

“yay! so can i play your butt like it’s drums?”

*voice crack* “wHAT?”

you are literally going to break him

he lets you do it though cause you seem excited to do so

but only when you guys are alone and he blushes the whole time

my bby

look, you have to understand… bokuto’s ass is–

phat 🥵✨

i would be surprised if you’ve haven’t smacked his ass before

anywho y’all are chilling at your house, he’s on your bed on ft with akaashi who’s tutoring him

you know he needs the help and you definitely don’t have keiji’s god given patience to help him, so you usually leave him alone during these little sessions

but alas, you are bored~

so you go into your room after getting a bottle of water for kou, once you give it to him, he gives you a sweet and appreciative smile

i love him

you smile back and give him a small forehead kiss before getting on the bed behind him

bokuto’s already been on ft w/ akaashi for like a good hour now, so he’s just laying on his stomach trying to understand what the hell his best friend is talking about

you chill on your phone for a bit until you catch a glimpse 👀

what you doing with all that 🍑 sir

AND he’s in his grey shorts??? the dude is asking for it tbh

n e ways you slowly creep behind him and sit on the backs of his legs. it’s not uncommon for you to climb him like a jungle gym so he doesn’t really pay you any mind

that is until you smack his ass dummy hard, he tenses and looks at you with a nervous smile

“hey babe, whatcha doing there?”

“don’t look at me like that, you’re the one with all this ass”

you then proceed to play a small beat on his butt, specifically the beat of ‘bruk off yuh back’

kou just blushes slightly while laughing at your antics

“i didn’t know you liked my butt so much!”

you pause and look him dead in the eyes

“kou. i love your ass”

lmao do you have a death wish?

iwa’s butt is also A1 but he will literally rip your hands off if you touch it

but this dude is a whole hypocrite cause he’ll smack your ass for shits and giggles all the time

and ik y’all seen him play volleyball, his smacks aren’t light in the slightest

anyway your tired of being on the receiving end of butt smacking and you decide to pull out your reverse card

y’all are at his house and you guys decided to take a nap together on the couch. you woke up before him and he’s so peaceful sleeping with his head on your chest 🥺

time to ruin that ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

you start off by just running your hands up and down his back. eventually you move your hands lower and give his butt a lil experimental pat

look at that jiggle

he doesn’t wake up, just buries his face in your chest more so you continue to pat his butt lightly. you’re mesmerized by the jiggle

but then you remember how he smacked your butt without mercy several times before and you suddenly feel vengeful

you then smack his ass hard and continue to do so having little fun by following the beat of ‘ayy ladies’

this causes hajime to jolt up, almost hitting your chin in the process

“y/n! what the fuck are you doing?!”

he looks really disoriented and confused

“i’m smacking your ass, duh” you say as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world

iwaizumi looks at you, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed

“well stop”

“hmm, no”

“the fuck you mean no?”

he tries to get up but you trap him by locking your legs around his thighs to hold him in place

“y/n, i will throw you off this couch”

you shrug and continue smacking his butt

iwaizumi continues to struggle against your hold on him while blushing furiously

“wow babe, if i didn’t know any better, one might say you like this”

“shut up and let me go!”

bold of you to assume he hasn’t done this to you

i feel you and suga have very playful relationship so stuff like this isn’t foreign

you guys are probably hanging out at his house with daichi and asahi. it was suppose to be a study session but turned into you guys just laying around in the living room

the afternoon approaches quickly and daichi offers to go get lunch for everyone, asahi decides to go with him

“don’t have too much fun while we’re gone” daichi teases

you roll your eyes playfully, “whatever dad, don’t mess up my order”

daichi laughs and leaves with asahi behind him

you turn to suga, who’s laying on his stomach, scrolling through his phone aimlessly

“i’m gonna get water, want anything?”

he hums in acknowledgement but shakes his head, “no thank you love”

ugh my heart

you can tell that he’s sleepy by 1) how heavy his eyes look and 2) how slow his movements are

as you get your water you contemplate on if you should be a good partner and let him sleep or if you should get him to wake up a bit

you decide to go with the latter

when you walk back into the living room, sure enough he’s snoozing on the floor. his head rested on his folded arms

a literal angel y’all

slowly you get next to him and get ready to strike—

“don’t even try it love”

AHJKEJEBIW WHAT

“i– how?”

he opens his eyes and gives you a sleepy smile, “instincts”

you’re stunned for a minute bc what the fuck but then you smirk slightly

“well you can’t stop me!” you exclaim, sitting on his back quickly. you then continue to smack his butt to the beat of ‘then leave’

he’s laughing but making no attempt to stop you, like i said before, this is normal behavior for you two

“okay don’t be mad when i do this to you the next time you sleep over” he warns

even after the initial start of this dies down, you continue to play random beats on his butt while he scrolls though his phone again

just normal tings 😌✨

“uhh…”

you both look at the entrance to see an embarrassed asahi with food bags in his hands, daichi must be parking his car

you quickly get off suga and laugh nervously

“haha i can explain”

…

“daiCHI—”

tanzaniiite © 2020 — all rights reserved. do not repost, modify, or copy. do not plagiarize. thank you.

#tanz writes 【📖】 #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fandom #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu akaashi #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu iwaizumi #haikyuu sugawara #haikyuu smau #haikyuu smut #akaashi keiji #bokuto koutarou #iwaizumi hajime #sugawara koshi #akaashi x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi x reader #hq akaashi #hq bokuto #hq iwaizumi #hq sugawara #hq imagines #hq #hq x reader

[okaywa]

I love your works omg! 🥺 could I request hcs for oikawa , Kuroo and bokuto where their s/o just finished a bunch of school work and they “reward” them 😳 if you get what i’m saying 😂 (smut is all I ask for basically 😳) thank you! ❤️❤️

ddHahah my classes just started so here we gooo 

... wish I had a haikyuu man to reward me lmao 

NSFW BENEATH THE CUT

Oikawa

is first of all one of the neediest boys even though he acts indifferent sometimes (mainly when he’s stressed about volleyball)

but even though everyone says he only cares about volleyball he is actually so attentive and in tune with you

he’s an amazing boyfriend and you can pry that out of my cold dead fingers  

so of course he sees how hard you've been working and is so proud of you for powering through your massive workload 

bc sometimes its easier to get overwhelmed and lost in it 

(this is unnecessary to the request but y’all met in Argentina while you’re  studying abroad and he’s playing in the San Juan club) 

But he’s barely seen you all week :(( stupid exams so he let himself into your apartment after practice to find you passed out in your bed, backpack tossed against the wall 

He smiles softly at the sight, he can't help it, you're just so cute. You're hugging one of your pillows while wearing a sweatshirt of his that he’d left here (on purpose but you didn't have to know that.) He crawls up the bed, careful not to bounce the mattress and leans over you, pressing featherlight kisses against your cheeks and lips. He can tell you're starting to wake up by your little twitches and the scrunch of your eyebrows. 

“Mm, Tooru, when did you get here,” you slur sleepily, shoving aside the pillow to wrap your arms around him instead. 

“Just now, sweetheart,” he murmurs, not letting up on his kisses until you purse your lips for him. 

He kisses you languidly, like the slow build up of the morning tide just a few miles away, until he’s got you pinned to the mattress. His hips grind down on yours, soft gasps shared between the two of you when his tip hits your clit just right. You're still sleepy, despite the sudden arousal that sends sparks through your tummy, so he keeps it relaxed. He captures your lips again, the rutting of his cock against your damp panties steady as to cause a quick buildup of heat in your core. 

“So proud of you, sweet thing,” he sighs into your ear. “Hnn- ah.. you work so hard..”

“Tooru,” you whine, now moving in time with his slow thrusts. 

“Shh-shh, let me take care of you,” he smiles down at you gently, rolling his hips at a new angle so his tip nudges your clit each time. 

You nod weakly, lips parting for his tongue as he guides you to completion. His hips lose their rhythm once you stiffen beneath him, whining as your orgasm finally crests and spreads through your core. Oikawa grunts above you, dropping his forehead against your clavicle while his cock throbs against your ruined panties and he spills into his pants. 

“Love you,” you pant against his hairline. 

“Love you too,” his lips press warmly against your throat. 

Kuroo

probably has just as much work as you but hes clingy so he insists that y'all study together even though your majors are totally different and you're not much help to each other 

He’s the type to shove your papers out of your lap so he can lay his head there, or he just puts his head right on top of them 

just constantly in the way but you love him so its kinda cute 

also I think Kuroo is one of those ppl who barely takes notes, is on his phone the entire lecture, and only studies the night before and somehow still has a 4.0, I hate him (sike)

that or he’s so studious he keeps track of your due dates as well

Yall come back to your shared apartment exhausted but pleased exams are over

“Mm, just one more semester and we graduate,” Kuroo sighs, wrapping you in a tight hug so he can rest his chin on the top of your head. “How do you think you did?”

You laugh into his chest, squeezing your arms around his waist. “I feel good about them, actually.”

Kuroo smiles proudly, ruffling your hair before grabbing your chin to pull you into a kiss. You smile against his lips, humming when his fingers start to play with the hem of your shirt mischievously. 

“Tetsuuu,” you whine when he tugs insistently. “We just got home...”

“I knowww,” he mimics, slowly walking you backwards until your knees hit the back of the couch. “But I want to show my pretty girl how proud I am of her for getting through these exams.”

Your stomach flutters at the low, sultry drop of his voice. He nips at your ear teasingly before pushing you to sit. 

“As soon as I saw you put this little skirt on this morning,” Kuroo grins, dropping to his knees in front of you. “I’ve been thinking about how much I’d like I hide my head under here and...”

His fingers tease the damp cloth of your panties lightly. “Devour you.”

You whimper as he looks up at you through his lashes, fingers stroking your covered folds more firmly. He cocks his head curiously until you nod desperately, parting your thighs eagerly for him. His smirk widens once he lays his eyes on your ruined panties and he wastes no time pulling them down your legs and shoving them in his pocket. 

Grabbing your thighs, he pulls your butt to the edge of the cushion and drops your calves over his shoulders. He immediately draws his tongue through your soaked folds to tickle at your clit. He moans throatily, murmuring about how delicious you taste before burying his face between your thighs. 

“Haaah- ah! Testu!” 

Kuroo’s tongue immediately licks inside of you, his nose pressed firmly to your clit. Gasping at his fervor, you grasp at his hair, knowing how much he enjoyed having you pull it. His eyes immediately fluttered open, heavily lidded and foggy with lust. Winking up at you, he curls his tongue just right and groans when your thighs lock around his neck. He shakes his head slightly to give your clit just enough stimulation to have you hurdling to a quick orgasm. 

He licks up your slick eagerly, determined to catch every drop but is cut short when you writhe away from the intense overstimulation. He laughs softly, climbing up the couch to smash his lips to yours, shoving his tongue into your mouth so you could taste yourself. 

“Mm, let’s go to the bedroom,” he rumbles, nibbling at your bottom lip.

Bokuto

He is so damn proud of you it’s adorable 

He’s been gushing for the past week and a half to his teammates about how smart his girlfriend is 

He’s a little bummed you haven't been able to pay attention to him but he understands and is happy to just watch you study

So when you finally get home from your last exam he pounces on you

Scoops you up and brings you to the bedroom immediately 

“Kou!” You laugh into the crook of his neck, squeaking when he suddenly drops you on the bed. 

“I've missed you so much,” Bokuto clambers on top of you. “Been driving me crazy with how busy you’ve been.” 

“I know, handsome,” you frown sympathetically, bushing your fingers through his wild hair. 

“I’m so proud of you though,” he nuzzles into the crook of your neck. “Fuck, you're so smart. Pretty sure Atsumu was ready to throw a ball at my head because I wouldn’t shut up about you.”

He settles on top of you, kissing a wet trail up to your jaw. Your hands are gliding up his back muscles and grabbing at his broad shoulders. 

“Kou... I need you to-” you're cut off by his lips on yours. 

“I know, baby, I got you,” his rough hands shove your pants down so you can kick them off. “How about I make you cum for each of your exams, hm? I think that’s a good reward for all your hard work.”

“Please,” you whimper, needing him to release all of the stress that had built up. 

“How many was it, baby?” He asks while pulling his shirt over his head. 

“Six,” you take in his toned chest and defined abs hungrily. 

“Six orgasms it is,” he grins, pulling your own shirt off. 

Within seconds he’s knuckles deep inside you, groaning about how ready you always are for him. He pumps and curls his fingers perfectly, thumbing at your clit until you’re cumming all over his hand.

His cock is always a delicious mix of a burning stretch and a sensation of fullness. Bokuto’s cock was thick and long, his head dragging along your g-spot with each of his rolling thrusts. Your walls suck him in greedily, clenching so tightly that he’s whining against your lips. 

“So wound up, aren't you?” He pants. “Need me to take the edge off, huh?”

You already have tears in your eyes as you nod, crying out when his fingers find your clit. He ruts his cock into you roughly, gritting out praises until you arch underneath him and cum for a second time. He stops completely, kissing your cheeks gently while you recover.

“Kou...” your eyebrows draw together. “You didn't...?” “Four more times,” he grins, and slowly starts thrusting again.

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