#I was just scared that her health was declining and it probably still is but her optimism and faith is helping her

[chaotic-super]

The Vampire Woman - 20

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Kara looks just about ready to collapse and Lena is worried. She hasn’t answered her question on what she was doing trying to drink the few drops of blood left in the blood bag Lena just devoured and she’s just silently swaying where she stands, her hands reaching out behind her to find the top of the island so she can lean against it.

“Kara, what’s going on? Are you ok?” Lena’s voice softens from the previous harsh tone, her shock and anger being pushed aside by her worry. “Kara, you don’t look so good.”

Her eyes are unfocused and she’s sweating. A literal bead of sweat drips down the side of her face for Lena’s eyes to track the path of, afraid to even touch her because she looks so delicate.

Kara backs up even further until her spine is pressed firmly to the counter and at that point, Lena moves one of the stools closer to her and directs her to take a seat. “Kara, come on, sit down.”

There’s no hesitation, Kara does as she’s told, albeit very slowly, so slowly that Lena only worries more. “I just want to help you, Kara. You can’t drink blood, that’s what vampires…do.” Lena pauses partway through her sentence, coming to the realisation that just because Kara is still mostly human, she still has vampire tendencies too, meaning that she likely has to drink blood along with eating food, she has to fuel both sets of her DNA and that’s probably why she’s ill now, she’s only been feeding her human half.

There’s no real reaction to anything she’s saying because from the look of things, Kara is struggling just to keep her eyes open, the fatigue too much for her. Lena stays close to her side, careful to not take her eyes off Kara just in case she slips and falls.

If she’s right about Kara needing blood to feed her vampire side then she needs to get her some but it’s strange. Kara has been eating normally for a human and hasn’t shown any signs of aggression or violence the way Lena does when she’s starving, she’s got no outward desire to hunt and that’s something she needs to delve deeper into with Kara. For now though, they need to get to her lab so they can test Kara, they can’t just have her drinking blood if it turns out she’s wrong, they need to test her cells against blood deprived cells of a vampire. The only problem with that is the fact that she can’t test herself because she’s just had a blood bag so she’s got to call in a favour or two.

“Let’s get you somewhere comfier, huh?” Lena carefully wraps her arms around Kara’s waist, nervous about getting too close for comfort but seeing that it’s necessary for Kara’s safety. “The couch looks good, let’s go over there.”

Kara is malleable and easy to encourage movement in but it has downsides, Lena has to keep a tight grip on her waist to keep her legs from crumpling beneath her and she has to plan out each and every step because Kara’s feet are barely moving forward and when they do, it’s at an unreliable pace and it makes it impossible for Lena to judge where they will land each time so she has to be extra vigilant to make sure she doesn’t step on them.

Kara isn’t much help but Lena at least has the clarity to understand that she isn’t doing it on purpose, she’s become weak and her health has taken a rapid decline that she can’t control. The rate of the decline is what scares Lena the most though. She watched the footage of Kara coming into the apartment and waving to the camera, she seemed fine, but then she goes to sleep and then she is somehow this bad. She needs to figure out how to help her safely and quickly.

She drops Kara onto the couch, helping her lie down with her head resting on a cushion, propped up the slightest bit. She then covers her with a blanket and goes to fetch Kara some water. Kara’s eyes are barely open when she gets back to her just moments later and she has to gently cradle the back of her head to help her drink the water, something Kara eagerly does, her throat dry and uncomfortable, scratchy even.

“That’s it, just take it slow.” Lena encourages her to drink as much as she can. “I’m going to call your sister for you, ok?”

“Ok.” Kara mumbles. “Lena, I don’t feel good.”

“I can’t imagine you do.”

Lena tucks the blanket tighter around Kara before she stands so she can call Alex. The phone call is quick, an urgency to her words stopping Alex from prolonging it in favour of heading right over to get to Kara. Lena calls Jess too, it’s becoming quite apparent that Jess and Kara have become good friends and she’d probably be yelled at for a week straight if she didn’t let her know what’s going on.

As soon as the calls have been made, Lena is sitting at Kara’s side, perched on the floor beside her, testing her temperature with a cool hand and watching her chest rise and fall with steady breaths, the only thing keeping her from becoming too worried. If her breathing changes, she might just end up having a panic attack or two though because it’s the only tangible thing keeping her sane.

It’s strange, Lena acknowledges, how this is one of the only times since she turned that she’s actually felt emotions this strong, this kind of fear.

She’s spent so long being shut off from the world, only developing surface relations, careful to never give too much away and always on the outside that now she’s unwittingly found herself in a situation that is the polar opposite of that, she feels completely out of her depth and she’s forced to reach out for help where she’s never had to do that before, she’s always been able to solve her own issues but now she’s realizing that she doesn’t have to take everything on alone. The only person she’s ever relied on is Jess and that was only ever trivial things so this is a whole new ball game and she’s finding that while it’s frightening, she doesn’t mind playing too much.

At the very least, Kara seems to be aware of her presence, her head tilted towards her and her lips making shapes of words she doesn’t have the energy to mutter. Lena watches, attempting the make sense of it and wishing that over the past few centuries, she had devoted time to learning how to lip read.

“Don’t try to talk, Kara. Just save your energy, you’re going to need it.” Lena mutters to her, debating whether or not to get her another blanket.

She doesn’t get her another blanket, she does stay beside her until Alex and Jess arrive though, not standing from her spot until she hears hurried knocking from the door and even then, she leads both Alex and Jess right over to Kara and then places herself back down in the spot that never had the chance to cool.

“Lena, what happened?” Alex chases her down to Kara’s side, her hands immediately cupping Kara’s face.

Lena shrugs. “She was fine when she was at L-Corp and she seemed alright when she got here based on the footage but then she went to sleep and has been like this since.”

“Something must be happening; we have to get her to the lab.”

“That’s not all.” Lena breathes.

Both Jess and Alex look tired, probably because of the never-ending amount of bad shit that keeps happening to them. Jess clears her throat. “What is it?”

“I left my blood bag on the counter when I was done with it, I found her trying to drink the few drops left in the bottom of it. I managed to stop her in time but I’m starting to wonder if this is happening because she’s only been feeding her human side, not her vampire side.”

“How do we figure that out?”

“We have to compare her cells to that of a starving vampire and see if they are similar, if they are then we know she needs to add blood into her diet and if not, then I have no clue how to help her.”

Alex shakes her head, her fingers pressing into Kara’s cheeks like she’s hoping to somehow transfer all of her energy and warmth into her sister to heal her. “So our problems are that it’s daytime so we have to try and figure out how to get you back to L-Corp and we have to find a hungry vampire, if you just ate then it can’t be you.”

“That’s right. I have someone I can call but if they say yes, you can’t be there when they come by because a hungry vampire and two humans are not a good mix. We can’t do anything until nightfall, if my… acquaintance, is willing to make the trip, they won’t come until nightfall anyway, we just have to keep her stable until then but her heartrate is strong, it seems as though the main issue is her energy levels.”

“I can see that.” Alex watches Kara’s eyelids flutter. “Hey, you.”

“Alex?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” Kara wrestles her hand free from beneath the blanket and reaches out towards her sister and Alex meets her halfway, their hands clasping when they meet. Alex tucks the blanket back down where Kara’s movements pushed it away and whispers to her. “We’re going to help you, don’t worry. Lena’s going to call someone and we’re going to get you back to L-Corp and everything will be alright. You just rest, ok?”

Kara has never heard sweeter words. She’s more than happy to just sit and rest while everyone else does the work, she’s desperate for sleep and is ecstatic to go back to the land of the dreamers, even if her sleep is a little restless at times. “Ok.”

Jess feels completely useless, she’s just standing off the side and trying not to get in the way of Alex getting to Kara since she knows that as much as she wants to be beside Kara to make sure she’s alright, Alex is a better fit for the situation, Kara will want Alex.

As Kara settles back down and closes her eyes once more, the three of them back away from her, still watching her out of the corner of their eyes, worried something else will go wrong but not wanting to stand right over her when she’s trying to rest.

Lena takes them into the kitchen where she promptly leaves them to go and make a couple of phone calls she’d really rather not make.

Alex and Jess are just casually pacing around the island, both walking in the same direction in their loop so they never overlap as they try to come up with solutions and reasons for things they have no idea about and that’s how Lena finds them when she gets back.

“I’m not even going to ask. I just made some calls and thanks to the shortage of blood, we’re going to have two hungry vampires over at L-Corp tonight. They are going to head over as soon as it’s safe to do so and we have to make sure that we’re ready for them because they are not too happy to be our test subjects and they have very short fuses so one wrong word and they are gone. We should head over to L-Corp before nightfall and get things sorted and then you two need to head out and lay low because it’s not safe for you there while they are there.”

Alex is not about to let her baby sister, the one that is currently in really bad shape, be alone in a room with several vampires, even if Lena is one of those vampires and she trusts her now. “I’m staying. I’m not leaving her side.”

“Same goes for me. We’re in this together. I’m not leaving.”

“You could get hurt, especially where starving vampires are involved. Like me, they buy blood bags but you saw what happened to me when I was starving, that could very easily happen to them, even if they don’t want that to happen.”

Jess nods. “Alright, so we’ll stay in the safe room off the lab, we’ll be close and you know we’ll be safe.”

Lena blinks. “Oh, that’s not too bad of an idea.”

“I know, I am capable of some intellectual thoughts every now and again.” Jess smiles. “The question now is about how we get to the lab now when it’s light out.”

“That’s simple, I’ll simply get Frank to come here and then I’ll just have to make a break for it and run as fast as I can to the car. It’s not the most dignified method of getting from point A to point B but it will have to do.”

Jess frowns and frowns hard. “That’ll hurt you.”

“Like a bitch.” Lena agrees. “Not as much as it will hurt Kara if we prioritise the wrong things and don’t get her the help she needs. Within a few minutes of being out of the sun, I’ll be right as rain. Even better if I can cover a good portion of my skin on the way out.”

Alex doesn’t know how to nicely portray that while she doesn’t want Lena to be in pain, she’d happily throw her out into the middle of the street on a sunny day if it means that Kara gets help so she keeps her mouth shut, letting Lena and Jess make the plan and standing there witnessing it going down.

Jess manages to convince Lena to cover up really well before running outside, that’s all Alex is taking in, her focus on her sister, whose chest is still rising and falling in a steady rhythm, a good sign if there ever was one.

Lena and Jess don’t push her to talk or even acknowledge the fact that she’s not looking anywhere other than her sister. After a while, she decides to move back to the living room and steadies herself into one of the chairs beside the couch, settling down to sit there for however long she needs to be there.

She doesn’t move when Lena and Jess start planning out the tests they need to do and she doesn’t move through two offered cups of coffee, both of which she declines so she can avoid as many bathroom breaks as she possibly can.

“Hey.” Lena walks around the back of her chair and leans close to her ear to mumble. “Frank is going to come by in a couple of hours. We don’t need to go just yet, we’d just be moving Kara to somewhere more uncomfortable when we don’t need to if we go sooner than that. Why don’t you go and get a drink and something to eat and I’ll sit with her in the meantime?”

“I’m good for a while longer,” Alex murmurs back to her.

“I’ll take a drink.” Kara’s sleepy voice cuts through the room, silencing all of them as they lean in closer to her groggy form.

Alex is out of the chair on her knees at Kara’s side in two seconds flat and gently stroking her cheek. “Kara, open your eyes for me.”

They all see the struggle that overtakes Kara as she tries her best but she does manage it, her eyes sensitive to the light until she blinks away the discomfort.

“Good job, now, what do you want to drink? Tea? Coffee? Water?” Alex offers despite not knowing what Lena actually has in her apartment, she’ll head to any store Kara wants as long as it means she’s being cared for. Her sister is the most important person in her life and she’ll do anything for her, even if she does enjoy lightly bullying her from time to time, certainly not when she’s in bad shape though, only when she’s having a good day that Alex can ruin because it’s against sibling code to let her sister have a good day if she can help it.

“Throat hurts.” Kara whimpers in lieu of deciding.

“I have some honey tea that might help with that.” Lena offers but she knows it won’t help. Her own throat gets dry and scratchy when she hasn’t had blood in a while. She’s not sure exactly how it works but she knows that with each new bit of information she’s learning about Kara, it looks like they are going to have to adapt her diet and not for the better.

Alex answers for Kara. “That sounds good, get her that.”

Lena is halfway to the kitchen when another sound brings them all to silence, this one being Kara’s stomach rumbling.

“Get her something to eat too,” Alex demands.

“I don’t want—” Kara goes to argue.

“You’re sick and you’re weak. I’ll force-feed you if I have to so it’s better if you just eat whatever we put in front of you and say thank you like the well-mannered woman mom raised you to be.”

“She clearly didn’t raise you to be well-mannered, meanie.” Kara croaks, forcing her tired limbs to help her sit up, something Alex realizes she’s got to help with after just a moment.

Alex shuffles her into place, stacking cushions around her to keep her upright. “Shut up, you. Let’s just focus on getting you better.”

Kara doesn’t fight her. She’s still exhausted, her body longing for rest she knows she doesn’t need since she’s been asleep for so long already and she’s desperately thirsty. Just waiting for Lena feels like waiting a lifetime.

Alex has a tight grip on her hand, one bordering on painful as her fingernails dig into her skin without her realizing and Kara’s not pointing it out because it’s the perfect distraction for her, exactly what she needs to take her mind off of the several horrible feelings circling around her body at the minute, very few of them easily identifiable because her body is a mixture of achy and numb.

Lena finishes the tea first whilst leaving Jess in the kitchen working on getting her something to eat, some tinned soup and some sandwiches from the looks of things.

“Here, it’s hot so take it slow. I brought you more water too in the meantime.”

“Thanks.” Kara forces out, happily taking the water, her hand shaking as she does so, making it a hard task getting the glass to her mouth. Taking notice of that fact, Lena gently covers Kara’s hand and helps to guide it to her mouth.

Kara’s cheeks flush, not liking how weak she is and terrified too because it was just yesterday she was being passive-aggressive towards Frank and having no issues packing her things up and now she’s lying on the couch barely able to so much as take a drink without help.

Jess speed-walks over with the tray of food, her steps hurried but her hands steady as she makes a conscious effort not to spill anything anywhere. “Here we go, try to eat something, Kara. It’s not pizza but it should make you feel a little bit better.”

Kara forces her lips up into a smile, appreciating the call back to when she was being annoying and purposefully asked for pizza after she donated her blood to Lena. “Thanks, Jess.”

“You’re welcome.” Jess places the tray on Kara’s lap, Alex helping to keep it steady when it lands, and then tucks a strand of Kara’s hair back behind her ear. “I’ll go find you a hair tie so you don’t get soup in your hair.”

“In the bathroom, I have some in a dish beside the mirror, they are easy to spot.” Lena directs her, not bothering with any further instructions because Jess has been here so many times picking things up for her that she knows the layout well, maybe even better than Lena herself.

Alex and Lena aren’t letting Kara take a moment before they are practically throwing the sandwiches at her, Alex literally lifting one of them up to her lips for her before Kara snatches it out of her hand and she takes a small bite to placate them. She chews slowly and swallows harshly, struggling to get it down her sore throat but once she does, she’s suddenly all too aware of how hungry she was and instantly takes another bite, one that’s much bigger this time.

She talks around her half-chewed bite. “Are you two just going to stare at me while I’m eating?”

“Probably.” Alex deadpans and then recoils when Kara opens her mouth and lets her take a good look at the mush in her mouth, a truly revolting sight. “You’re gross.”

Kara nods, agreeing and shoves more of the sandwich into her mouth, before dropping the rest of it onto the plate so she can go for the soup next.

There’s mild amusement and a whole bunch of relief in Alex’s eyes at the sight of Kara digging into the food so ravenously and it soothes her nerves enough that she moves from where she was kneeling to head for a chair, Lena doing the same with the other chair.

Jess marches back in, hair tie perched between a finger and thumb triumphantly. “I got one…oh, you’re really going at that.” She looks slightly horrified at the speed at which Kara is consuming the food. “Do I need to make more sandwiches?”

“Yes please.” It comes out muffled but Jess definitely gets the message and heads for the kitchen, handing Kara the hair tie before she goes, which Kara just slips onto her wrist and promptly ignores the existence of.

-

Somehow, they have all been sitting around for going on a half hour and Kara hasn’t slowed her intake of food at all. It’s worrying in a totally different way than before.

“Kara, are you full yet?” Alex asks, tired of seeing Kara stuffing her face with the third set of sandwiches Jess has made her.

Kara shakes her head. “No, I’m starving.”

Lena presses her lips together nervously. “How’s your throat? Any better?”

“A little.” Kara shrugs. “I’m not as tired now though.”

“That’s good. Do you think you’ll be able to walk down to the car?”

“Yeah, probably. It helps there’s an elevator, I probably couldn’t manage the stairs right now, my legs feel a little bit like jelly but I’m feeling much better for having something to eat.”

“Interesting.” Lena tilts her head, watching Kara even more closely.

Kara’s eyebrows scrunch. “What’s interesting?”

“You. Your human appetite and your vampire appetite are linked somewhat, I can tell. You’re managing to quench your vampire thirst for blood by eating so much food but not to the extent of fully regaining your strength. That’s on top of how long it has taken you to actually have an appetite for blood. It’s taken you a while to get to this point but it came on fast, your body doesn’t give you the same warnings it does to full vampires.”

“So this is a weird hybrid thing?”

Lena finds herself nodding slowly. “It looks like it. I obviously can’t confirm anything just yet, not until we’ve got you in for some tests but it’s looking like it’s something we can probably figure out a way to get a handle on your body’s reactions and how to prevent situations like this in the future.”

“Do you think I’ll need to drink blood?”

Lena hesitates. Drinking blood isn’t something she wants Kara to have to do but it’s looking like there aren’t going to be any other options. “I think so but we’ll see what happens with the test results.”

“Right.” Kara eats her feelings away with another bite of her food, continuing to shovel it into her mouth and chewing away, her stomach feeling dreadfully empty even though she knows she’s eating a lot.

The three women looking after her take it in turns grabbing her more food every now and again, all of them completely astonished by the vast amount she’s managing to put away and only refuse when they know they have to start getting ready to leave for L-Corp.

Lena is escorted to her bedroom by Jess, who rifles through her closet to try and find her some clothes that will cover up as much of her skin as possible to try and reduce the pain she’s going to be in making a run for the car.

Jess hands her several layers of clothes and Lena just takes them with an eye roll. She knows she’s not wearing all of these, there are way too many and she’ll only be out there for a few seconds so she’ll probably be fine. Most likely. It’s a high possibility. Like fifty-fifty chance. Alright, she’ll wear the clothes.

“Thank you for the help, Jess.”

“Not at all. I’m going to make sure you’re in the best condition possible by the time we get you across town. Shall I check with Frank and see where he is?”

“Yes please, I’ll start getting changed into every item of clothes in my closet, I guess.”

“Please do.”

Alex is working on getting Kara ready in the meantime, helping her into her room and then sitting her on the bed so she can slowly manoeuvre herself into fresh sweatpants, her back turned but staying in the room in case Kara manages to get herself into a pickle. “You good?”

“I’m good. Almost done. Can you take me to brush my teeth after?”

Alex answers. “Yeah, I’ll grab you a stool from the kitchen so you can sit while you brush them.”

Kara expects her to just go and get it but she doesn’t move and it becomes obvious that Alex is waiting for her to finish first so she’s not left in a dangerous situation, if getting dressed counts as a dangerous situation, that is.

“Done.”

Alex turns, checking on her and then nodding when she’s certain Kara hasn’t managed to choke herself out with her pants or something. She takes a couple of strides towards her before planting her palm in the middle of Kara’s chest, shoving her until she falls back on the bed in more of a lying position, her legs dangling off the edge.

“Oof.”

“Stay there and relax, I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Relax? You just assaulted me.”

“Dramatic.” Alex tuts, striding away.

-

Lena holds Kara up on one side and Alex on the other, each with their arms wrapped around her waist so that when they walk through the lobby, they just look like they are walking together rather than holding up a woman that walked through there perfectly fine just the day before.

Jess leads the way, checking that Frank is just outside the building as he informed them he would be. The car is waiting for them. Jess has them wait at the door and rushes to get the car door open so Lena can just dive right in.

She heads back over to them and swaps places with Lena, taking Kara’s side and the three of them make their way to the car, Kara being tossed inside with as much care as they can manage given the awkward stoop they have to do to get inside.

Once they are inside, Lena takes a deep breath and goes for it, her strides long and her stubbornness active in full force as she practically leaps into the car, her skin burning from each millisecond she spent in the sun.

She lands on the floor, her hands coming up to touch the burning skin of her face as she cries out. “Fuck!”

“Lena?” Kara goes to lean forward in her seat but can’t because of the seatbelt strapped across her and Alex’s arm holding her back.

Lena writhes for a moment more, her eyes pressed tightly shut and every muscle in her body held tight, the tension making her ache just as much as she’s burning. She keeps her face aimed towards the ground because she can’t bear to see the worried faces she can tell are surrounding her.

It takes several minutes for her to get her breath back. She was only in the sun for a few seconds but it was much longer than she’s spent out there in years. The two seconds she was out there whilst making Kara test her powers before was enough to rattle her so the ten seconds of running to the car were a lot more than she would usually ever allow herself to try and handle.

It seems worse because she knows she’s got to do the same thing again to get out of the car but it won’t be as bad because Frank will pull up right beside the side door of L-Corp and she’ll get inside much faster and have the chance to recover where she’s not in the field of vision of people counting on her.

By the time she’s composed herself, they are over halfway there and at that point, she heaves herself up into one of the spare seats, puts on her seatbelt and stares out of the window so she doesn’t have to look anyone in the eyes.

She might have been the one to offer to do what she did but that doesn’t mean she fully thought through the consequences of her actions. She knew it would hurt but she forgot that she wouldn’t have anywhere to hide when she was handling the pain, that she has to be on show for them to see her in a rare vulnerable moment.

She can feel the eyes of all of the other women on the side of her head but she’s determined not to look, not to see their faces now they have seen how weak she is when she’s exposed to sunlight, her greatest enemy, one she can’t fight.

Lena feels their stares all the way to L-Corp and she knows they see her for her weakness now because the moment the car pulls up, Alex tugs off her coat and holds it in her hands. “I’m going to run with you and try to block some of the light.”

All she manages is a nod. They think she’s weak, she’ll just look weaker if she fights and lets herself be reduced back to the state she was just in, it’s better to let Alex try and shield her. “Ok, get Kara inside first though.”

“Will do.”

Alex and Jess take an arm each, leading Kara just inside the door. Lena surveys Kara’s footsteps, making a mental note that she’s doing a thousand times better than when she had to pretty much drag her across the floor before because she was so weak. It does make her feel a little better in a selfish kind of way that Kara is weaker than her, that she’s worse off in this situation, because it means she’s not the weakest link in the bunch, she’s not the one everyone will pity, Kara has taken that role off her hands, shielding her from the full effects of being someone with a major flaw.

Alex comes back for her just seconds after Lena sees them disappear inside the door, her hands fidgeting with her coat to find the best way to hold it up for her. “Ok, Ms Luthor. Ready to make a break for it?”

“Yep.” Lena clambers to the door and on her way out, rests her palm against Alex’s spine, pushing her forward so they stay together on their sprint. There’s less pain this time because of the cover but there are still several places on her body that are screaming in agony but this time, Lena has the chance to dart around the corner and take the time to breathe without anyone watching her.

Jess and Alex don’t wait for her, they can see Kara once again losing her energy, she’s relying on them a little more with each step she takes and her breathing is getting heavier with the effort she’s putting into walking so they just head right for the lab. Lena can catch up soon enough anyway.

They put her on the bed down there, the one that might as well be reserved for her at this point. “Just relax, Kara,” Jess instructs and immediately starts getting the equipment they need ready, Alex helping where she can too.

Lena joins them not long after and she does so with her façade firmly in place, the one that screams power, so much so that if they didn’t know better, they would assume that she wasn’t just rolling around in pain on the floor of a car.

“Alright, we only have so much time so let’s get what tests we need done ready now and then I can get started right away when our guests of honour arrive.”

Alex looks up from what she’s doing. “Who are these people anyway?”

“Old friends.”

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#supercorp #cw supergirl #supergirl #supercorp endgame #kara leaned in #kara x lena #lena luthor #fanfic #kara danvers #supercorp fanfic #kara zor el #fanfiction #wlw #vampire au #vampire lena luthor #vampire!lena #chaotic super

[mnoxsk]

When you wear a dress (Demon Slayer x Male!Reader)

Characters: Giyuu, Platonic!Misturi, Tengen

Genre: Fluff/Scenario/Headcannons

Summary: During your break from demon slaying you decide to wear a dress in your mansion and Giyuu/Platonic!Mitsuri/Tengen sees.

●I wanted to make the male reader’s relationship with Mitsuri Platonic since I ship her with Obanai and rather prefer her to be an absolute self confidence cheerleader for the male reader :) (also Obanai will be mentioned in Mitsuri’s part) As for Tengen’s part I REALLY BADLY wanted to make it slightly suggestive however I’m a minor so obviously that’s outside my will to :’)

- Tengen was visiting your mansion to try to court you again (after many attempts yet you had declined). He already had the permission from his wives that he could make you his husband so for you to walk out to greet him in a dress mentally has him on his knees. 

-He would compliment you for how handsome you look wearing a dress, giving you gifts (either bought, made by him, or his wives), and carrying a conversation about how you should consider to let him court you yet his mind says he badly wants make out with you (with consent of course) but doesn’t want to scare you.

-If you once again decline his offer expect him to still come back to your mansion with the same offer and more gifts (with flashy dresses this time too)! He’s a very persistent and patient man when it matters most! 

-However if you actually choose to let him court you expect him to be caught off guard because he thought you would decline his offer again! He would laugh like the menacing man he is before carrying you either bridal style or over the shoulder to immediately court you at his mansion where you’ll be staying for a while!

-If he decides to do over the shoulder your ass would most definitely be facing him and not because he wants to slap it but so he can cover it! Your pink peach is only for him to see (and his wives too)!

- ABSOLUTELY LOVES YOU WEARING A DRESS! She’s your No.1 cheerleader to making you feel good about yourself! Both you and Mitsuri were childhood friends and after she decided to become a demon slayer to find a husband you wanted to help and support her and she does the same with supporting your mental health!

-She would braid your hair, do your nails and makeup, just dressing you to look amazing if you want! If you don’t or rather don’t want to go that far than she’ll rather just do self care with you instead.

-Obanai may seem sour with you being with Mitsuri but she reassures you that it’s his way to look out for her. Mitsuri can easily read this man like a book and can tell that Obanai actually enjoys you being friends with Mitsuri since she considers you more normal and nicer with her but just puts a wall with you so he won’t consider being friends with you too.

-If you ever want to try on more dresses Mitsuri is your go to girl (other than Tengen’s wives)! She will help you look for dresses of every type! Cute dresses! Hot dresses! ANY DRESS THAT JUST MAY LOOK GOOD ON YOU! In the end you might either only be buying a few dresses or only a hundred. You’d probably have to claw her out of any store after at least a couple minutes due to her just making you try EVERY dress they have!

-He is a man of few words, honestly. Yet even if he doesn’t say a word you always seem to know what he’s thinking and he finds it pleasing that you can understand him and carry a conversation without needing for him to say a single word! Today he decided to go to your mansion to rant to you what Shinobu had said to him (During Ep21 where she said he had no friends when he considers you one)!

-As he waits patiently for you and sees you in a dress he can’t seem to peel his eyes off it and you wearing it! His mind rather is flooded with questions as of why you’re wearing a dress but is snapped back to reality by you asking why he came to your mansion.

“So that’s why you came here? That wasn’t very nice of her!” You frown before putting his head to your chest, caressing his head with your hand. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you, Giyuu-dear. If you want I can talk with her so she wont do it again!” Were you always this kind and nurturing to him? He also wonders why his feels so hot all of a sudden. Did he get a cold from travelling too much in cold weather? It’s not possible though for him. How peculiar...

-After that Giyuu takes a deep note of that he should avoid any physical contact of you and if you ever question he will just say that he’s dirty or hasn’t washed but after using the same excuse a couple times you started to encourage him to let you wash him. (He really needs to get more creative lmao)

-Giyuu will be able to still have conversations with you however finds it hard to hide his feelings seeing you smile in front of him. He thinks that it’s just like the sun. Burns away any darkness, warm, and comforting to him. <3 This man also definitely enjoyed you wearing a dress more than he thought and will actually try to persuade you to wear it during your breaks because “it helps relieving stress and encourages you to relax” when he damn well knows it’s probably a lie.

#demonslayer x reader #kny x reader #x male reader #demonslayer x male reader #kny x male reader #tengen x reader #tengen x male reader #misturi x reader platonic #giyuu x reader #giyuu x male reader #mitsuri x male reader platonic

[bigstupid69]

u seem rly cool and I am too nervous to not use anonymous on these things but please I wanna hear stuff about your Penny Lamb so badly after seeing random people saying it was inaccurate

Thank you anon I'll put them under the cut

Okay first off and I'm not bashing this hc whatsoever and I literally use these pronouns, but I do not think she would be entirely okay with it/it's pronouns being used on her after the whole Jane Doe incident, since y'know being called a freaky monster isn't really a compliment? Penny is weird I know that, but I also just don't think she really enjoyed being Jane Doe, like at all. In fact I think it was pretty traumatic for her, I've shown this in fics I've abandoned but she has a very complicated relationship with herself and her identity after the incident. It's obviously hallucinations from declining mental health and the fact Uranium probably doesn't have a licensed therapist. But still, almost turns into a sense of derealization or dissociation.

After the accident at least with my Jane Doe design the little cracks on the dolls head basically turn into scars, I've also just given her extra since I like drawing scars they're cool. I don't remember what eye it was I think it was right, but she's partially blind and uses a glass eye after the incident. She likes to take it out and freak people out.

I think I've only seen this in some fics but she is not like dumb, at all. She's silly and weird yeah, but she is very smart and actually knows how to do things. I mean she's literally taking care of Ezra and is practically a mother figure to him at this point because of their parents being arrested.

She skates and she sucks at it, one of the reasons why she is constantly looking like she got hit by a semi-truck.

She worked as a scare actor with Mischa at the fair before the incident.

I don't wanna make this about perfectdolls but this can just be in general, Penny would NOT use a normal ass petname for anyone. She would just use some random ass word, I made it a joke that she just calls Ocean different names of bodies of water that get progressively more stranger everytime.

Shes a contortionist, and purposely creeps people the fuck out because of it. Also one of the reasons why she was a scare actor for the fair as a part time job.

Also she hates the cameras since it reminds her too much of the Johnny Moon incident, mugshots, she literally maimed a guy

Anyways there's definitely more but here you go

#ride the cyclone #legoland penny lamb #penny lamb #headcanons #rtc headcanons

[icouldntfindquiet]

how has your 2023 been? How do you feel about 2024?

2023 was alright. It wasn’t the best year but it also wasn’t the worst. It was weird because I started 2023 with a sense of doom. I just didn’t have a good feeling for some reason. Nothing bad happened but people around me were going through stuff and I kinda absorbed the mood.

Highlights for me was the accidental like, Bondy responding to my DMs, seeing The National, going to Croatia, CATB coming back, and meeting a financial goal of mine. Negatives are my grandma’s decline in health (she’s in her 90s so full life but still 😢), a health scare involving my dad but turns out he’s fine, and family fallouts (tons of drama but my family’s trying to be neutral). So a mixed bag. Sorry for dropping that on you. 😅

As for 2024, I have high hopes but it’s probably bc CATB is coming back. 😂 I’m looking forward to 2024 in terms of music! Blossoms, The Safest Place, and I’m assuming CATB. Hopefully there are more like Wolf Alice and Sam Fender. Hopefully I’ll get to travel some more, find my soulmate, have an epiphany about the meaning of life, etc. 😂

How was 2023 for you? Are you looking forward to 2024? Hopefully 2024 is a great year for everyone. 😁 Thanks for asking! ❤️

#talk

[moonlightsmasquerade]

Okay , Swap Sub bad ending ( and being cryptic ) time!

My idea is that maybe the other deep ones are able to get Evie to remember her past existence as one of them before replacing the real Evelin , and that's when her humanity slips off .

Ruth was looking for Evie after she just vanished from her house , and unfortunately becomes Evie's first victim in a long while . Dave had been chasing after Ruth to prevent her from going too close to the water , and Evelin attacks him too , but he survives! Though not without losing something : his eyes , so now he wears his sunglasses 24/7 to hide the fact that he's blind .

It's after seeing Ruth's corpse and what Evelin has become , and having been told the whole story by Six not too long ago , that Adam probably has a full blown emotional meltdown . Maybe the deep ones already saw him as Six's "student" in becoming a worshipper , so maybe they're confused on why Adam is crying and screaming when he was supposed to be rejoicing along with them .

"Sweet child , why do you weep?"

The towns are overtaken just like planned , and seeing that the "miracle of God" that he believed in so much did not come to pass at all , I think Mark would give up and finally go into the water .

"We're so happy you've finally joined us , Mark! Cesar and Sarah have been waiting for you!"

I agree that Jonah would run the heck away while he still had time , but you know who else I think would leave? Mrs. Torres and Lynn . It was probably Adam who convinced his mom to flee without him , because he no longer wanted her to be scared for him seeing as his mental health declines .

"Distraught at the sight of her broken son"

After the whole indoctrination and reluctant follower stuff those two anons pulled up , I came up with something . Adam still becomes the "evil fish priest" , mimicking how charming and persuasive the deep ones are when they're pretending to be a human person , but he's doing all of this out of fear of death , but also because he wants to try and do something right for Evelin , since he's still in denial that she was a monster all along . Denial is the first stage of grief after all .

Of course , Six would have preferred if Adam believed what he preached himself rather than doing all of this reluctantly , but it's better than nothing he supposes . Speaking of the ugly motherfucker , he sort of "retires" after some time once Adam begins preaching the worship of the deep ones , but he's still around , looming behind his boy as a reminder not to try anything funny . Adam likes when his once father figure ruffles his hair or hugs him , even though he's aware it's all just tricks to keep him under control . He is just too touch starved to care at times . ( Inspired by the "We have given you , O Adam" passage from Oration on Human Dignity , by Giovanni della Mirandola )

"We have given you , O Adam , protection for as long as you live as our prophet , from whatever harm may come your way , as your mortal eyes and soul are too blind to see them as we old ones do . By your own human nature you are still free to do as you please when not using our word , but you are cursed to remember that you are forever bound to our will and your existence forever chained to ours"

As one last thing on the more wholesome note , Jonny could be a straight cat that Adam found and decided to adopt . He's basically like Adam and Dave's therapy cat . Didn't know where to put so I'll put it here : since Dave now needs near constant help because he's blind , Adam invited him to live together , so now it's traumatized boy and blind tired uncle figure living together with their therapy cat

No ending notes in this one , it's getting too long , so I guess you guys can ask whatever you want as compensation lmao

-Ace Anon

YEEEEAAAAA!!!!! Ooooooh man ADAM SENDING HIS MOM AWAY IM SOBBING and mark just.... AUGAHAH its very hard for me to articulate but I love this... So much

#submandela swap #SO GOOD ACE THIS IS AWESOME #augh RUTHHHHHHH #it all ends in TRAGEDY

[erigold13261]

Hi! Do you have HCs for older Yinu? I loved your take on her, as well as her future designs! Questions like: “Will she stay in NSR as an adult?” Or “What does she like doing other than playing the piano?” Thanks and Love Love Sayu Pyunnn to you!

I'm really glad you like my design! I need to make more life designs lol

As for headcanons, I would say that Yinu will probably stay with NSR until late teens to early adulthood, she is definitely not going to spend her whole life working under the same company.

I think the reason she would leave would probably because of Mama, whether it be because she has declining health or... dies. Either way, that would be a kick to Yinu to stop working and actually live, because I can see Yinu spending her whole childhood and teen years playing piano professionally so much that she just doesn't have a real life. No matter how hard Mama tries to make it so that Yinu can have a normal life, it will never be normal as long as she is a megastar.

Once she retires, or at least takes a few years away from NSR, I would think she starts exploring outside of piano. She probably has no real idea who she is or what she likes. She definitely likes plants, so she would travel a bit. A lot actually. She would go and visit all kinds of places, probably with Mama or by herself. Possibly she could go with a friend or partner if she has one later on.

During this time she would still be practicing piano, but not nearly as much as she was when she was a child. Maybe she picks up some other instruments. I can see her playing harp, which Mama would teach her, or violin, which Neon J could teach. She would definitely still be in touch with the other megastars too.

Yinu would find a love of adventure, a passion for cooking, and an eye for fashion. And honestly, I can see her also learning to fight, like karate or judo, kickboxing, something like that.

As she gets older she would start to slow down, maybe date maybe get married. Possibly stay single for a long while. I see Yinu as a lot more independent as she gets older, having had her mother basically around her and protecting her all the time would make Yinu a bit more cautious of getting in a relationship and fearing she would lose some of her independence. But she would still want to one day get married and be as happy as her parents were, but also scared of loving someone so much she might lose them like Mama lost Papa. It would be a big hurdle for her honestly.

Once she is no longer traveling, putting up small performances here and there, I could see her returning to professional piano playing. Probably in her mid 30s. She would have to learn what type of music is popular and how to make it, but I am sure she would be a hit whenever she comes back. If NSR is still around at that time she would be willing to join again, though there would definitely be a whole different set of megastars that she would have to get to know. The only one I can see still being there is Sayu, and even then that is a very low probability. Yinu would also be more willing to go fully solo in her career or join other music industries. Probably more willing to do that than to rejoin NSR if she can't get over the nostalgia.

No matter what, Yinu is going to have a long and fulfilling life. There will be hardships, and trying to figure out who she is later in life. But she will have fun overall and in the end she will retire to where Mama and Papa grew up and live the rest of her life there. Sometimes an ex-megastar will visit her, or she will visit them, or a fan will find her, but she enjoys her life and is happy in the end.

#nsr #no straight roads #nsr yinu #eritalks #asks #erithinks #noart #love talking about nsr #am glad people are asking about it again! #i have a lot of p/sychonauts asks #which i do enjoy #but i have such a hard time answering those #while nsr comes so easily to me #both are super fun tho! #:D

[aanihtewrites]

・🔭 ⸝⸝ ・P0H3 --- pt. 5 (final)

Everyone, except the Brownstone siblings, were affected by the “No-Sleep Syndrome” as Katherine calls it. The health of every team member started declining and they could barely save Farah from dying. Judith immediately called the control center back on Earth and got a simple response which provides no guarantee-

“We are looking into this matter.”

They rescheduled their preparation for deep sleep to be done after 1 more week. The conditions of the members weren’t preferable for hibernation which will last for almost 40 years. One day, Judith woke up in the middle of night time to find Richard sitting alone by the window.

“Why are you still awake, Ricky? Is something wrong?”, she sat down beside him while rubbing her eyes. “We are all gonna die even before we reach P0H3 right?”, he asked, looking into the dark space in front of him which twinkled with various star lights. “No, absolutely not, honey! We are going to make it! What makes you think we are gonna fail?”

“The nightmare, it turned into reality.”

“Wait, what do you mean, Richard? We don’t have any death onboard like you drea-”

“Hana is dead.” 

“W-What?”

Judith quickly stood up and rushed towards Richard’s sleeping pod area which he shared with 3 others, Fin, Eveline and Hana. I rushed to Hana’s pod and checked her pulse, her skin unbelievably cold against Judith’s fingers. She couldn’t feel a pulse, she wasn’t breathing either. Judith’s heart started pounding in my ribcage as if it’s going to break out. She ran to the main control panel and turned on the emergency siren, which woke everyone up. Then, she called the control station back on Earth.

“This is Judith Brownstone, Voyager 9801, reporting from Spaceship Hope. We have a death onboard. Hana Gabriel, Voyager 8732, is announced dead...Please try to find out the reason for her death, she was completely healthy till today! I made sure she ate and went through the daily health diagnosis!...What? A parasite!... What do you mean a parasite invasion! How is it even possible?!...Yes, we went on space walks to make sure there was no onset damage done to the ship and to check on the solar panels...Are you sure!?...O-okay, I’ll try my best...thank you…”

“What is it Captain? Why did you wake us up?, Antonio walked into the main control area as he asked with his tired voice. “Captain, I tried waking up Hana, but I guess she is in a deep sleep. Probably tired from all the nights she stayed awake.”, Fin walked in next and informed, Judith’s heart aching at the mention of Hana. 

After all the 9 team members were gathered in the main control area, she decided to break the bad news. “Sorry for waking you up during sleeping hours, it’s just, I had to let you all know something very important and heart-breaking. Hana, our health specialist and space researcher, who is not standing here with us at the moment, has passed her last breath. Hana Gabriel is...dead.”, Judith informed, a silence filling in between. Eveline broke down in tears as Daniel tried comforting her. 

“Voyagers, this does not get any better. We have an onset parasite invasion on this ship and everyone here is affected with the parasite. Scientists back on Earth have named it “Digger”, as it digs into a part of our brain and gains access to our biggest fears. In Hana’s case, it was her imagination. We all know that she was scared of her imagination, as it was very vivid and it caused her more harm than good. It’s different for everyone. Like for Farah, it is her father’s death, for Daniel it’s your fear of the dark and monsters.

Most of us haven’t shown any symptoms but. We might start showing them soon. We are already doomed. We can’t start hibernating, it’s too dangerous. And..”, Judith paused a bit before continuing

“We might never make it to planet P0H3, we are going...to die."

author's note: first time writing sci-fi but hey, I did okay...right?

#tumblr writers #writerscommunity #writerscorner #writersociety #fiction #my writing #writers #writers and poets #writers on tumblr #sci fi writing #science fiction #short stories #short story

[leopardom]

for world mental health awarness day i sure am not having a good day by any means

i mean... i keep thinking how whenever i meet up with my friends or whenever we talk in more depth about our everyday lives in general, i only realise how far behind i'm left in life and how much i struggle to push forward. and i'm honestly wondering what's the point in staying alive at all like. i barely make any progress towards graduation, my personal life has declined and it feels like it's becoming non-existent day by day, i'm 25 and still live off my parents' money because i have no job and i'm too scared to look for one and also lack so many qualifications to find something that will help me support myself enough financially. and i claim i'm an artist but i can't make art for shit and idk how to express myself at all. like i'm a musician who can't write music or at least sit on the piano and play something? wtf am i doing? i also haven't talked to my therapist in 3 months and i'm falling on the same loop i fell around this time last year which immediatelly led to me sh after 7 years. and i'm fucking scared to contact her even thoi know i should do it asap because i havn't talked to her in so long and i thought i was doing okay-ish but i certainly don't do okay and so much stuff is going on in my stupid little head that idk where to start or what to say the cherry on top is that i feel like i'm annoying everyone with my rants or whatever i write online or say irl. like for example i found out that someone i like a lot in here does not follow me back (or probably never had followed me back but i have no idea honestly, i rarely check that stuff) and i feel like i said or done something wrong and irritated them and idk what happened, i only feel like it's my fault. or like, my irl friends keep telling me that it's a shame i'm not in a relationship or have more love interests because i'm beautiful af and an interesting person to have around. but reality only proves that i'm none of that since i don't have the stuff they tell me about and i think that they're lying to me out of pity and trying to be nice

in conclusion, idk what is wrong with me and what should i do about it and i sure don't know what's the point in existing anymore if i'm just. here doing nothing

#and i think it’s rants like this that make people hate me but idk #no one can hate me more that i hate myself i guess #and i’m sorry for being. like that #personal

[hunting-songs]

"Can you hear curses, perhaps?"

"However am I suppose to understand this question?" Senritsu had lifted her small hand and tapped her short fingers against her chin, smiling amused up to the man. She had taken her flute appart and spread the small parts of bone before herself on a velvetcloth on the table, ready to lean and polish them as carefully as if he pieces were made of fragile crystalglass. "Can I hear when you hit your toe in the night on one corner of a building and curse loudly? Yes, I can, and it definitive woke me up before.", the young woman hummed, winking up to the other in all good humor. With a thin brushs he started to clean one of the bonepieces- Senritsu had a bad eyesight but she was not often wearing glasses, yet right now she had put them on and clapped down the extra magnifier-lense over her glasses left eyeglass to have a better look at the dust and fat she needed to carefully clean off the bonepiece. The magnifier-lense comically enlarged her left eye, so the musician looked in a permanent state of the emoji: o_O. Senritsu seemed to be aware of this fact, because she was still smiling in all good humor even when she was working so very focused. "But can I hear when someone is cursed by the bad wishes and anger of another person? Mhmmmmmmm-", she tilted her head from one sid eto the other like a thoughtful bird, yet still her nimble hands never stopped working cleaning the flutes bonepieces: "-that depends. Is that anger already strong enough that the other person shows physical sympthomes of declinding health? Yes, than I can hear it. Naturally the moment I detect declining health is usually a lot of earlier than when you would." She lifted a finger like teacher even if her other fingers were still holding the thin brush: "Even if I would probably doubt what I am hearing. My hearing is perfect,but I am also just a person. I had often not believed what I had been hearing." The smile on her face hardened, just for a moment, just for a second, barely noticeable. She thought about the Spider Uvogin. She thought about him threatening the Nostrade Bodyguards even when he was bound to a table just seconds away from beeing tortured. She thought about hearing the unshakeable confident in his voice and heartbeat that she just couldn´t believe, because it meant that it was not the first time he had been in such a situation, because it meant that he had been so often in such a situation that it was normal for him, because it meant that every time he had been in such a situation he had survived and still seeked out such dangerous situations again. She thought about how knowing this about the spider had scared her, because it meant that neither her nor her comerades were safe: "Or I did not wanted to believe what I was hearing." [ @daedapix ]

#v: bium bium #daedapix

[venndiagramsindeepspace]

I Can't Do It Alone

2023/11/13

0:37 I'm writing again. I'm hungrier than usual. I'm hungry. Period. What should I eat? Ice cream? I already had some. Yogurt with fruit is the best bet. I'll go get some yogurt with fruit, and come back.

0:59

I got the yogurt, and a glass of orange juice because "fuck 'em" right?

I also put all the dishes away that were in the dishwasher.

What I was saying earlier is that me beginning to write again- recreationally- personally- is not a great indicator of my mental health. Pardon. It's a good indicator of my mental health- and it indicates that my mental health is not very good.

Really, it's been in decline since... well... it's been stable. But it's taken a couple L's. A couple arrows to the knee. Depending on your preferred Gen Z/millennial reference.

The first major blow was when I lost a big competition this summer. It was a huge opportunity afforded to me by a bonafide celebrity in the community. And I didn't knock it out of the park like I wanted to. The worst part was knowing that was due to my procrastination. It wasn't chance.

It was also sad because the celebrity in question was whispering promises of money and fame in my ear. Now I feel like I've lost his favor. That hurts.

The second major blow was probably the student election- which I lost. It wasn't the losing that time that was hard- it was how the election process interfered with my life at school. I was losing sleep, and sleeping in my parked car. The third blow is kind of a run off of the first- struggling to manage my course load and also my part-time work.

The thing is, I should be able to manage it. I get caught in this weird loop where I avoid the work- because I'm scared of it.

I'm scared of it for a couple reasons. The biggest reason in my mind, is that the work will be never ending, and that will be painful and intense.

These aren't unfounded fears.

The painful and intense part is a lived experience I've had time and time again. Usually it's due to me cramming last minute due to procrastination.

The part about the work never ending is also true. That is to say, I've experienced it before. It's hard to say where exactly. When I think about it- I think about my eating disorder.

That was hellish. I'm 25, and not to sound esoteric or grandiose- but I feel like I've lived multiple lifetimes.

I think most people have, in there own way.

My eating disorder was hellish. It was work and the work was never ending. It lasted for about three years. Each year becoming more and more intense, with more and more work.

Of course, this is different from say- sitting down and doing homework- but I'm still scared of the cold callousness that I treated myself with.

The whip that I strang myself with. Turning me into a dead-eyed machine- aching to meet an unattainable goal. That scares me. And beneath that- is a fear of being ignored. Unseen. Unfelt.

That is not unfounded either.

I don't want to point fingers. But, pointing fingers is different from bowing to acknowledge something.

I don't want to stand high on a cliff and chastize and wane and burn spittle and fangs in the direction of someone.

Because that hurts me too. It isolates me further, pushes me away.

But something happened. And it wasn't just one something. It was a hundred million somethings. Okay- probably like a hundred thousand. Or maybe less than- but they were tiny invisible scars. Death by a thousand cuts. I'm watching Blue Eyed Samurai right now. Can you tell?

Basically- what I'm saying is that my mum can still hurt me sometimes. Even if she's not aware of it.

It's me telling her something, and her cutting me off with a new thought. Like she wasn't listening. Or her nodding and uh-huhing while looking at her iPad.

My parents both have busy minds.

And that scares me. My mum has scared me especially.

I'm scared because- I'm scared of being reproached when I asking for what I need. Validation. An ear. A hug. Someone to tuck me in. You don't need food. The hunger makes you stronger. You don't need rest. The pain makes you resilient. You don't need love. You can do it on your own.

But you can't, and it doesn't and it never did.

I do need love. I do need love. I do need love. And it's so scary to say. And it's painful when the people you need to survive fall short of the mark.

But I don't want to hold anger towards my mum. I love her. She's my mum.

I don't have to do everything alone.

I shouldn't have to do everything alone.

But I do have to look out for myself.

#journal

[silentmoths]

I hope you’re doing okay, Lex.

Sometimes, parents or relatives or just any other person can be projecting how they feel about themselves onto other people. Not that I’m justifying their actions in anyway. I also recently didn’t know that a very close cousin of ours didn’t invite anybody from their entire father’s side of the family to his wedding of which he told none of us.

It feels like a stab in the gut and simultaneously like they just destroyed their last chance of showing they actually care for you. Especially since we have been supporting them for years after their father, my uncle, passed away a few years ago.

However, I can say that it will get better. Sometimes we go through such scenarios in life in order to see the true person we’ve been actually thinking or dealing with all this time.

I truly hope you forget about such people in your life and that you’d eventually fell better. Sometimes ranting to your irl friends or your S/O can help as well to get rid of your frustrations. Love you and stay safe 💛🫂

Hey anon, I'm...doing about as well as I can I guess but honestly, Im a bitch who lives a pretty secluded life and I dont really get chances to dump my feelings out often so forgive me for using this as a moment to get..well, everything off my chest.

definitely a case of 'moth is getting probably too loose w their personal life on the internet' but at this point? I really just...dont care anymore.

Some context: parents have been divorced since I was three, thats fine, no big.

But my dad, whom I havent spoken with properly since 2016, has a habit of descending from on high to drop earth shattering revelations on me and then vanish again

last week he suddenly asked if I could be the executor of his will, me, a 25 year old who has no idea what any of that shit entails, but I say yes anyway because there was only one other person he had ever had as his executor and I had assumed something may have happened between them.

I ask my sister in law, who's mother is in a relationship with this person.

Today, I get a message from my lovely father again telling me he's dissapointed that I've gone and said something to said sister in law, who knows my dad well, she used to live three houses down from him and I knew her throughout my childhood, and now I have apparently caused a 'rift' in a 40 year friendship because I was worried for his friends health and assumed that's why I'm suddenly being given this shit monument of a task.

On top of that, this is when the wedding for said family friend gets brought up, this is the first i've ever heard of it, like I knew they were engaged but like, the date is set, dad had already declined his invite because my mum will be there and neither of my shitass folks can put their differences aside for one goddamn night, oh and I'm apparently not important enough/ thought of enough to be invited.

Im...honestly reaching the point where I wish he'd just hurry up and die so I can get this over with and actually fucking live my life without him descending every other month to tell me about his bowel cancer and how he's not doing anything about it like im glad to hear that the one parent who actually gave a shit about me when i was small is just letting himself die and honestly knowing him, he's going to speed it up in some way and here I am doing nothing about it because what the fuck can I do.

So for now I just sit, and wait, and try not to think about it.

my partner has been a godsend, his parents know more about executing wills than I do, but it's still something that I have to do mostly on my own and I'm scared im going to fuck it up.

#silentmothasks #moth is not silent #if you dont want ur mood dragged down dont read this post #im just vomiting words to stave off a breakdown

[sixsoulssnuffed]

I'm surprised no one's asked yet...why did you climb Mt Ebott?

*Would you believe me if I told it was for Fain?

*It usually comes as a shock to most people, since she's stuck at a much younger age than I am, but Fain and I were actually classmates. The classic beautiful mean girl and her favourite ugly nerd to pick on. Tale as old as time.

*It was sixth grade, and we had an end of the year camping trip. It lasted three days. Fain came along with her parents, so she wasn't her usual rotten self. We shared a cabin, and during that time, she was...well, she was nice to me.

*Now, you need to understand the kind of kid I was. I hadn't a single friend. I was bullied a lot, and even those who didn't bully me looked down at me for my poor English. My health condition made me useless at sports, and my grades plummeted due to the language barrier, so I wasn't the smart kid that I was back in Belgium. My parents were divorced; my dad and brother weren't allowed to see me, and my mom and stepfather were distant at best and downright neglectful at worst. The closest thing I had to a friend was the librarian. I was really, really starved for any sort of positive interaction.

*For those three days, even if it was a lie that'd come undone as soon as the trip was over, I was just...a normal girl. With normal friends.

*It was the happiest I had felt since my brother was still living with me.

*On the third night, Fain went missing.

*I still remember the search parties. The wailing of her mother and father. I don't think I can ever forget. How are you supposed to grieve someone who made your most of your life a dull hell and the last three days of your life the most worth living?

*Five years later, I heard from Fain again. Or at least, someone claiming to be Fain. Claiming to need help, to have fallen down Mt Ebott.

*I don't know how many people got that email. I think most of the people who knew her didn't even check their old e-mails, and I imagine that if anyone else did, they brushed it off as an extremely tasteless joke. It had been five years, after all, and not a trace of her was found. Besides, asking someone to come to Mt Ebott was like asking someone to die. Who would do something so stupid, so careless, so brazenly self-destructive, over what was likely just a sick prank?

*Someone who valued their life less than dirt, that's who.

*In those five years, little changed. Life only got harder. My health only declined.

*Maybe I just wanted to believe that if I helped her, that she'd be grateful enough to really be my friend. That despite how long it had been, things could really be like those three days together. I wanted that more than I could put into words.

*Maybe I didn't think she'd actually be nice to me. Maybe I just was scared that if I didn't help her, no one would.

*Maybe I just wanted to believe in something greater than my mundane life. Like in the fantasy books I grew up reading. That this was some sort of call to action to something bigger than I could imagine. That maybe all the old legends about Mt Ebott were true.

*Maybe I just wanted an excuse to throw my life away. Maybe I was just tired of being in constant physical and emotional pain, and maybe I was just given a convenient out that I could take without feeling like I had simply given up on living.

*Whatever stupid reason it was that ultimately spurred me forward, I climbed up Mt Ebott.

Foggy laughs humorlessly.

*I did eventually find Fain, but she had been long dead. And after we all awoke from the dead, I got little thanks from her.

*Fain claims the e-mail was really her, but that she sent it the day she fell. Got mad at me for taking so damn long.

*To be honest, thanks or no thanks, I'm glad I came down Mt Ebott. Whatever sort of future I had on the surface wasn't bright, and it was probably not going to last very long

*Down here, well...I regret a lot of what I did, but I cannot deny that I had fun.

#ask #anon #clouded sight; foggy #long post

[annersaidthething]

I was catching up with friends this evening, and one of them made a comment about how our bodies decline physically after 25 and he was worrying about that. I'm still thinking about that conversation. I've got a few chronic health conditions that have really hit me hard this year, to the extent that they're massively impacting my daily life and activities I'm able to do. The doctors assure me that things will probably, hopefully improve in time with rest and rehab, which is difficult, since I'm in the habit of not resting when I need to and it's finally catching up with me (and probably exacerbated these underlying conditions, as did getting covid). Point being, that right now my body feels pretty goddamn declined, and I'm not coping super well with it. I didn't really know what to say to him, since I'm not sure he realises the extent of things at the moment (we're all in different cities).

I tried to joke about it that my body is already declined and he joked back that it's only downhill from here and that's fine really because he couldn't know but god that hurt. That's what I'm most afraid of right now. That things won't get better, that they'll get worse. And I can't know if they will or won't. A new medication they put me on has been working, but it's early days and progress is excruciatingly slow, and I can't know that it will continue that way or not. And I'm so scared. I'm terrified of getting more sick and being unable to do even basic life tasks. I'm still able to shower every day, but it exhausts me and I have to lie down afterwards every time.

But I couldn't reach out and tell him that. There's no external reason why not really. Just that growing up, my mother's love was conditional, and her support for my pain was conditional on me packaging it in a way she could deal with, and I couldn't package the pain right in that moment where he'd understand but it wouldn't make him and my other friends uncomfortable. It just turns into a stupid pissing contest of he's not allowed to be worried about future stuff because I've got it worse right now, which is ridiculous. Or it's a pity party of how sick I am, and what are they going to do with that. So I just sat there, with the grief of my body betraying me and preventing me from doing so much, along with the grief about my upbringing and my inability to reach out and ask for support.

Part of me thinks it's pointless because how could he understand. What could he do. What could anyone do to help. It just makes everyone feel bad. It's not going to make my joints stop hurting and give me my breath back and stop my heart from being damaged if I push things too much. It's not going to allow me to go for long walks like I used to, or swim, or dance, or be able to just go out without rationing time and steps and energy. But I don't know how not to push, or better put, how to only push a little bit, well within my limits. If I don't push myself to my breaking point to justify my place in the world and my worth to the people I care about, how can I possibly exist, how can I possibly ask anything of anyone?

What's the point of bringing the mood down when nothing anyone does or says can make it better? Other than being heard I suppose. But what right to I have to be heard at the cost of their happiness in that moment? I don't know. If you're reading this then I've already done that to you, inflicted a portion of my anguish onto you, and I'm sorry. Don't read this. It's not worth it. But I had to say it to someone.

#sorry #anonymous venting

[sophiathebanished]

.

#yesterday I was missing my grandma like crazy #she is the only person from my childhood who emotionally supports me #she lives like 2 hours away from me so growing up I would visit her like every other month or something #but I haven’t seen her since Christmas of 2019 thanks to corona #she lives in a rural small town which happens to be a major hot spot for the virus #so she only leaves the house once a week to go get Dairy Queen as a treat #she and grandpa are getting their second shots this week #I try to call her once a month but last month I didn’t get too and I have been missing her and worrying about her #she has leukemia and grandpa has dementia #but she has the most positive attitude no matter how rough things get #she is very hopeful about possibly seeing me in spring #I was afraid to ask how her health was but she told me she got a lot of cleaning done in the house and donated a bunch of stuff #the fact that she has energy to do that amazes me #I have been doing some major cleaning as well #have lots of donations too! #anyways connecting with her has always helped with my anxiety and depression #I was just scared that her health was declining and it probably still is but her optimism and faith is helping her #I’m just scared of losing her and I’m constantly missing her #so glad I finally called her last night #just hearing her voice washed away those harsh emotions #i want her to see how much my daughter has grown #my grandma is so precious to me and she always tells me I’m precious to her #I have a small support group #just her and my hubby #she is an earth angel

[equestrianwritingsstuff]

Uhmmm.... so I had a prompt idea. What if hero arrested villain, and handed him to the authorites, and he basically told her that he'd make her pay for it. Then hero goes to the prison for a different reason weeks later, where she sees villain, terrified, sick, and drugged. So, she reluctantly takes him home and cares for him. She is scared he will attack her when he's lucid, but when he does fully wake up, he's just terrified.

This is such a good idea! I saw your submission right before I went to bed and laid there thinking about it, so as you can see I was quite excited to write it.

Paying For It

Warnings: threats, horrible treatment by authorities, left to be sick, fever, blood, drugged, forced sedation, unconsciousness, nightmares, smoking mention, paralysis (due to sickness), sick animal analogy, delirium

~

"You will pay for this," he growled as the handcuffs clicked into place. "I will make you you pay for this and not by money, no-" a chuckle "- I will hurt you."

Hero shuddered as she walked down the icy path back to the same prison that she recently turned Villain into. Horrible thoughts of that said villain breaking out and torturing her flooded into her mind, making her already chilly veins even colder. She hugged her fleece tighter around her and adjusted her scarf, suddenly wishing she wore her winter coat.

Before she knew it, Hero was trotting up the steps towards the concrete building. It was, by design, barren yet strong.

She had some documents to bring to the office. There was a new supervillain in town, actually more like ten, but Hero only managed to get information about the one. They most likely moved in after the biggest threat around, Villain, was arrested.

She opened the door, closing it quietly, and walked up to the desk. The hero, a young boy, most likely a sidekick holding down the fort while his mentor went to do something else, sitting up there was lazily playing a video game on his phone.

Hero coughed to get his attention. The boy didn't respond.

"Hello?" Hero asked.

The boy startled, tossing his phone backwards. "I wasn't," he defended, "on my phone, I swear."

"Uh huh," Hero grunted, sliding the papers over to the boy. "Where's your boss?"

"Probably smoking or something," the boy chuckled, then stopped and looked at Hero with a nervously apologetic expression. "I shouldn't have- you weren't meant to know."

Hero shook her head and said, "I don't care about my colleagues personal habits, but can you get him for me?"

The boy nodded and rushed off, returning later with a stern looking man.

"Superhero," Hero acknowledged, nodding slightly. He smiled then looked at the papers on the desk.

"Are these about..." He looked up at Hero.

"The new villain, yes," Hero finished his sentence, crossing her arms.

"Good, very good," Superhero momentarily flipped through them. In that silence, a thought bubbled up in Hero's mind.

"How's Villain?" She asked. "It's been awhile."

Superhero's face paled, as his toe nervously tapped the floor. Hero raised an eyebrow.

"We've had some... issues, so Villain is spending sometime in detention," Superhero said. He coughed, then said in an overly joyful tone, "Thanks for this Hero, do you want me to escort you to your car?"

"I would actually like to see Villain. Maybe I can, you know, talk to him about his behavior," Hero declined the offer, stepping in front of the papers. Something isn't right...

"Well you see, that wouldn't be beneficial. If anything it would be detrimental towards Villain's... redemption," Superhero pointed out, unconsciously chewing at his lip.

"We aren't a redemption center, Superhero," Hero said quietly, almost a whisper. "Let me see Villain or-" Hero grabbed the papers and proceeded to rip them "- these aren't your's."

Superhero rushed forward, putting his hands on top of Hero's and slid the papers back towards him. He gave a tiny smile and consented to her request.

They walked down the corridor and then down a couple flight of stairs until they reached a steel door with three locks- all with different keys. Hero watched with a stoned expression, thinking about what would happen if one of those keys were unfortunately lost...

"He's in here," Superhero spoke, dancing on his feet.

Hero stepped into the dark room, recognizing the detention cell that she helped invent, and flipped on the lights.

In the corner of the capacious cell, was a huddled figure. His back was towards her, legs spread out. With a pang in her chest, Hero walked up to him.

"V-villain," Hero breathed and crouched next to the figure. Villain whimpered and pulled himself deeper into himself, but his legs didn't seem to be connected to his brain.

Hero gently rolled Villain's head up to face her and nearly gasped when she took in the sight. He looked like a sick, stray cat. Mucus drained out of his nose as vomit spewed out from the corner of his mouth. His half-lidded eyes were bloodshot and had deep eyebags underneath with dried blood coating his cheeks. He had multiple, nasty cold sores all around his lips- or were they infected cuts? Maybe both.

"Why is he in this state?" Hero asked, astounded. This violated so many regulations and rules- the prison could be shut down, many heroes arrested or fined.

Superhero didn't respond. Instead, he appeared at Hero's side and crouched down next to Villain. The villain who didn't even seem to be aware of their presences.

Hero grabbed one of the wrists that were so protectively cuddled next to Villain's chest. He whimpered, trying to resist Hero's touch.

"No," he mumbled. "No no no no. Don't give... m-more... that mm stop." Villain started to breath heavily, his already fast pulse speeding up. With a heavy heart, Hero knew without even looking that he was drugged badly.

"Superhero... why?" Hero squeaked, turning over a wrist to see them heavily bruised and still bleeding from his most recent dose.

Villain started thrashing, but his legs wouldn't move.

"Why can't he move?" Hero asked, running a hand along Villain's shoulder. "Why can't he move his legs?!"

Superhero inhaled deeply then said, "He's very sick, uh... he probably has some sort of infection that makes it hard for him to move his lower body. Maybe, I don't really know."

"You don't even know what's wrong with your prisoner," Hero scoffed in disbelief, dragging Villain's limp body into her lap. She tried not to notice the wetness seeping into her jeans. It would only infuriate her that such a sick person would be kept in a wet and cold cell on top of being drugged daily without any medicines to help kick his fever.

"He's sick."

Obviously.

"I'm taking him home," Hero said, and scooped his way too light form up. His legs dangled uselessly, head falling off towards the side.

"That's illegal," Superhero pointed out. "He is in our custody now."

"And where does our rules permit excessive use of sedatives," Hero said in the same, authoritive tone. "Minimal use only to relax a distressed prisoner and only when necessary. Also, never to the point of unconsciousness." Hero gestured with her head towards Villain's closed eyes.

"And where do they permit us heroes to contain a villain on private property?" Superhero tutted. "Set him down and let me do my job."

"I'll call the authorities," Hero threatened, "and take you to court."

Superhero groaned and threw his hands in the air. That was not a risk he could take.

"Fine," he growled, storming out of the room, leaving Hero in silence other than the slow dripping from a leaky pipe.

She quickly tore off her fleece and wrapped Villain's shivering body up. His eyes fluttered open and he mumbled something incoherently, but that was all as his eyelids slipped closed once again.

Then, she carried his ragdoll-like body out of the prison, down those steps, and into her car.

She laid Villain's limp form on one of the backseats, propping his lolling head against the window and buckled him in. His arms hung lifeless at his sides, legs completely devoid of strength.

With a nervous whimper, Hero sped home.

At home, Hero took a warm washcloth and wiped off the dried blood and mucus to reveal unevenly toned skin underneath. She delicately picked the dry crust off his eyelashes and eyebrows. It was rock hard and the warm water wouldn't loosen it, so she was forced to pull on the tiny hairs. At least he wasn't conscious for the pinpoints of pain.

Hero suddered, thinking about what would happen when he did wake up. Surely, he would keep to his word and hurt her, beating her up for imprisoning him and then of course this newfound dilemma.

She looked down at his sleeping form and sighed. She had him elevated to make sure his airways stayed clear, but his head kept falling to the side and onto the backrest of her daybed. His lips quivered, forming soundless words and pleas.

Hero gently touched his forehead, retreating at the burning heat. His eyes slowly blinked open at the contact, he moaned, and then they rolled back again and closed.

Hero sat next to him for rest of the day, worriedly anticipating his attitude upon awakening. However, as the hours went on and Villain didn't seem to be regaining consciousness too much, Hero realized that they would be in for a roughly long time.

Villain was probably drugged like that the moment he entered that building and judging by his health and state of his wrists, Hero also guessed that there was no care whatsoever during the admission or the aftercare.

Hero ran her fingers over Villain's pale cheeks. His mouth was parted open and he snored slightly from the congestion. Tears leaked from his eyes, irritating the tender skin below. Hero went and grabbed some lotion, smearing the white cream over the red rashes.

Villain jerked away suddenly, curling into himself and protectively guarding his arms. His heavy breathing went shallower and quicker as tiny noises escaped his mouth. Hero sighed and stopped touching him; he was likely trapped in a nightmare.

Hours turned into days, and only then was Villain awake enough to be aware of Hero's looming presence.

Though, his reaction was not what Hero was expecting.

He screamed, shoving himself and his weak form to a corner of the bed and gathering his leaden limbs into a huddled mass of burning skin. He shrieked and sobbed, and watched Hero with wide, exhausted eyes.

"Leave me alone!" He yelled, pulling up the covers in a bade to protect himself. "Please."

Hero never once in her life felt so utterly useless.

She was, like Villain promised she would, paying for her actions.

#villain whumpee #hero caretaker #superhero whumper #hero x villain #drugged villain #sick villain #unconscious whumpee #tw nightmares #smoking mention #delirium #forced sedation #threats #threatening #paralysis #heros and villains #captivity whump

[kevindayisafrog]

One shot of Kevin with a therapy dog 💅

TW- small joke of suicide, anxiety, brief take of mental health

“What about a dog?” Kevin looked down at Andrew who was curled up on his lap. “What about a dog?”, Kevin reached down and raked his fingers gently through Andrew’s hair, causing the other boy’s eyes to slowly close. “A therapy dog”, Andrew whispered as he pushed his head harder against Kevin’s chest in a gesture for him to keep playing with his hair. Kevin hummed his answer knowing that the answer was a ‘no’. Andrew and Neil had been hounding him recently about going to see Bee, but the thought of having to relive his past scared him more than when he actually went through it. But if he was being honest with himself, his mental health had been declining a lot in these past few months, but that didn’t mean that he wanted to reach out for help. He just couldn’t do it. “I can come with you to pick one out, if you want”, Andrew opened his eyes and glared up at Kevin, his hard auburn eyes challenging Kevin’s self-destructive side. “I don’t know”, Kevin shrugged and watched the clouds outside the window absently, “I don’t really like dogs”. Which was a lie and he knew it. He always used to annoy his mom with asking for a dog and, before he knew what was good for him, annoyed Tetsuji with the question too. He never got a pet and now he didn’t really want one; he couldn’t really look after himself. “Stop lying”, Andrew muttered before getting up and walking to the dorm door, “you’re getting a dog”. He slammed the door behind him and left Kevin alone with his thoughts.

“Don’t tell the therapy dog your problems, Kevin, it’ll probably kill itself”, Neil smirked from the backseat as Kevin turned around to punch his knee lightly. Andrew, without taking his eyes off the road, leaned over and smacked Kevin back into his seat and lifted his middle finger up at Neil, “110%”. Kevin rolled his eyes and stared at the long strip of highway in front of them, his hands nervously picking at each other. “You look like an addict in withdrawal when you do that”, Andrew sent Kevin a sideways glare and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers against the gearshift. “You’d know all about that”, Kevin smiled sarcastically at Andrew and relaxed into his seat, silently apologizing to Andrew for having to hold his clammy hand.

It didn’t take long for them to get to the shelter, but it took ages for them to get Kevin through the front door. “You are literally a big baby, aren’t you?”, Neil laughed and pushed Kevin through the automatic doors. “What if none of the dogs like me?”, Kevin asked as he shook out his hands nervously, humming as he followed Andrew up to the main desk. “You should be used to it, people hate you too”, Andrew shot over his shoulder before talking to the receptionist. “Are you excited, sweetie?”, the receptionist came out from around the desk and placed a gentle hand against Kevin’s wrist. “Uh, yeah”, he answered, ignoring the death glare that Andrew was shooting at the woman. They followed her through a long white corridor, Kevin’s nerves making him crack his knuckles into dust. “Just through here, sugar”, the receptionist walked them through one last door and into a large room full of barking dogs in cages. Kevin froze at the sudden cacophony of noises and tried to resist the urge to cover his ears with his hands. “Sorry, I know it’s loud”, the woman smiled apologetically at him before walking to a cage housing the smallest chihuahua he’d ever seen. Andrew tugged the back of Kevin’s shirt and slowly walked him towards the cages. “Why do they have to bark?”, Kevin muttered, giving in to the urge and placing his hands over his ears. Neil placed a hand against his side and held up his ear defenders with a small smile, making Kevin’s chest flutter. “Thanks”, he muttered, trying not to blush in embarrassment as he placed the defenders on, slowly relaxing as the sound died out. Andrew dragged him to each cage, signing his words so that Kevin was still included in their conversation. They looked at each dog and Kevin felt bad for them, but he didn’t feel a connection to any of them. He scanned the room feeling bad for dragging Andrew and Neil here for no reason; and that’s when Kevin saw the one. He practically ran to the cage and clenched his hands in excitement as he looked down at the fattest black and white pitbull with the biggest head and the widest grin. Kevin turned to Andrew and signed ‘I want this one’ rapidly, knowing he had the stupidest grin on his face. He watched as the woman unlocked the cage and let the massive dog out. It sniffed hesitantly at Neil’s feet (who had the widest grin as he reached down to stroke its big head) and then walked over to Andrew who looked down at it in boredom. “Hi”, Kevin whispered as he crouched down, laughing as the dog lifted its front half onto his lap and licked his face. “Her name is Oreo”, Andrew signed after kicking Kevin’s thigh lightly. Kevin looked down at the massive dog and placed a hesitant kiss onto Oreo’s wrinkly forehead. “You’re coming home with me”, he whispered as Oreo shook her bum so much that she couldn’t keep her back legs still.

#aftg #aftg trilogy #kevin day #nora sakavic #tfc #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #kandreil #kevneil #aftg textpost #andreil