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theje0ngs · 2 years

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JJH | Speak Now

DON’T SAY YES, RUN AWAY NOW.

PAIRING/CHARACTERS • jaehyun x fem!reader

GENRE • light angst, romance, runaway groom!au

WORD COUNT • 2k

WARNINGS • profanities, y/n crashing jaehyun’s wedding lol, eloping

GELA SAYS • one of the works that was supposed to be a chaptered scenario, but i’m too lazy to do that and opted with just one shot ahahaha not proofread! so there’s probably a lot of grammar mistakes & typos also i’m posting this because i havent finished forget me not yet lol i’ll just link the music once taylor releases the speak now (taylor’s version) hsdhafha

HAPPY READING!

You were a fan of Taylor Swift.

Every music, every album, every merch, you have collected since you were a kid. Every concert, every awards show that allows audiences, you have attended them. Whenever your friends hear the artist’s name, their attention draws to you immediately.

And that being said, you weren’t expecting your friends to plot a plan based on one of Taylor Swift’s songs.

“We’re not crashing Jaehyun’s wedding nor am I running away with him, just because you heard and understood the story behind Speak Now, Mia.” You say, plopping yourself next to her with a bowl of popcorn. “I’m not the type of girl who’s going to barge in on a wedding. And what’s the point if I crash his wedding anyway.”

Your friends, including Jaehyun’s friends, have invited themselves over to your place to plot a plan to stop Jaehyun from marrying his bride tomorrow. You knew eventually that Jaehyun will marry another woman, not because he did not love you or you two had a bad breakup, but you knew it the moment Jaehyun’s mother asked you to meet her and personally informed you how much she repudiates your relationship.

It is against Jaehyun’s will to be in an arranged marriage, but what else could he do? Since he was a kid, probably even before his father’s sperm fertilized his mother’s egg, the couple has planned every single year of their son’s life. Controlling parents, they say. After you found out that Jaehyun was set to marry another woman, you gathered strength and courage to face your boyfriend— now ex, and ended the 7-year relationship you two shared. Jaehyun’s breakup with you became his mother’s joy.

It only took them five months to prepare for the wedding and the reception. That’s five months of you crying and trying to move on. They made sure everything was perfect. That’s the reason why you didn’t like your friends’ plan at all. Hundreds of thousand dollars spent on this wedding, and you’ll ruin it? Just because your friends said so? Are they even sure that Jaehyun still had feelings for you? And if you did successfully stop the wedding, will Jaehyun even run away with you?

“Why don’t you just meet Jaehyun tonight, huh? He told me he’s been visiting you here, but you wouldn’t answer the door.” asked Mark.

“Because he’s about to get married, hello? And maybe he’s coming here to personally give me a wedding invitation, hell, I don’t think I’m even on the guest list. So what’s the point?”

“Sometimes I question how come you graduated with Latin honors… open your fucking eyes, Y/N! He’s trying to visit you here to tell you how much he still loves you!” Your best friend groans, “Do you really think that Jaehyun would replace you that fast? You’ve been together since we were in college, and that was years ago, for Pete’s sake! He wouldn’t forget about you that easily.”

You sigh, pinching the skin between your brows. “Okay, fine! You made your point and I hate you all for making me realize that.” You say, looking at the faces of your friends who are now smiling smugly. “How the hell are you people going to sneak me into the wedding?”

This is wrong, this is so fucking wrong. You thought. Last night, when you asked your friends how you were going to sneak into the event, it was immediately solved by Joy— the event organizer and one of your friends. She suggested that you act like one of her staff, which Johnny, Mark, Jungwoo and Mia agreed to. You tried to explain why a part of you thought that the plan would fail because knowing Jaehyun’s mother, she would be hands on her son’s special day and would monitor the staff before the event starts.

“Just stay inside that little room, that’s meant for the staff anyway. I’ll pick you up there while the wedding starts so it’s not obvious that you’re there. There’s a dress there and you can change to that one so you could blend in with the crowd.” Joy said, walking with you towards the food that had a staff only sign. It was next to the room where the bride was, so you had a glimpse of her when someone exited the room. She was already wearing her wedding gown, and it made you wonder how many petticoats she was wearing for it to look like a puff pastry. It was so obvious that she was stressed that you could hear her shout at one of her bridesmaids. You remember how Joy described her and her attitude after working with the bride for a few months.

Meanwhile, Johnny and Mark, the best men, are trying their best not to be so obvious that they were nervous about the plan. They simply said that they were happy for Jaehyun when the groom asked why the two were whispering in the corner of the room. It was not new to the groom as he was used to the duo laughing and sharing each other some secrets or whatever it is they’re talking about.

“Mr. Jeong, we’ll start in ten minutes. Mr. Lee and Mr. Suh, you may now come with me.” Joy’s other staff said to the two.

Johnny stands up from the ottoman, followed by Mark and the two men straighten their tuxedos as they smile at the groom. Jaehyun chuckles, seeing his two best friends smile at him so proud. The older man put his hand on Jaehyun’s shoulder, leaning and whispered to his ear: “Congratulations bro, I know it would be hypocritical of me to say that I’m happy for you knowing that you’re not, but… whatever happens, don’t say yes.”

The duo walked out of the room, leaving the confused groom behind. What was that supposed to mean? Jaehyun shook his head and took one last glance in the mirror before emitting a nervous sigh. If ever this marriage goes south, there’s always divorce. He thought, walking towards the door and exited.

When he arrived outside of the hall, it was Joy and Mia’s cue to get you out of the staff room. You hesitated, not wanting to continue with the plan, but your friends’ incessant pleas is what made you give in. Jaehyun saw how much effort his mother put into this wedding, everything inside the event hall screams luxury. When he got to the end of the aisle, everyone stood up for the bride. It was now Jungwoo’s cue to exit the premises, get the car and wait outside of the venue. Even though your friends only planned this last night, you were amazed at the effort they were making. After Joy and Mia hid you behind the curtains for a few minutes, they leave you alone in one of the available chairs on the last row, next to someone you don’t know but you assume is one of the bride’s relatives.

The tune that the piano makes usually puts a smile on your face and calms you down, but hearing it now makes you a nervous-wreck and sweat was forming on your palm. You knew that your cue to stand up and stop the wedding is a few minutes from now, yet the thought builds up some weird anxious feeling inside your stomach. The bride was now walking down the aisle, you tried your best not to let Jaehyun’s mother see you and that is why you only sat while everybody stood up to give her respect.

Once she was finally in front of the officiant and next to Jaehyun, you readied yourself for the scene you were about to do. It’s now or never. You kept on repeating that until the words you’ve been waiting to hear echoed inside the hall: “Before we proceed to the vows, I’m giving this chance for the people to show us why this couple should not be lawfully wedded. Speak now, or forever hold your peace.”

There was a brief silence, you could see Johnny and Mark scan the hall and it looked like they were looking for you and when your eyes met Johnny’s, you stood up. You could feel every eye of the guests glue on you, you were shaking when Jaehyun met your eyes. You walked towards the aisle, standing in the middle before saying:

“I was raised better than this, but damn it, Jeong Jaehyun! You’re not the type of guy who’s marrying this girl! She’s not for you—”

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Mrs. Jeong said, standing up from her seat.

“Don’t wait, or say a single vow, Jaehyun…” You persuade, a splash of relief ran through your body when you saw him step down the small platform and started to walk towards you.

Johnny suddenly told Jaehyun, loud enough for everyone in the venue to hear: “Run away now! Go ahead!” When Mrs. Jeong attempted to stop her son from leaving, Mark and Johnny were quick enough to move and cage her in their arms. “RUN FASTER, YOU IDIOT! WE GOT THIS!”

Jaehyun looks back at his friends, then to the guests who were clearly shocked by the sudden commotion. When he realized that his mother was being kept down by his best friends, and the bride’s mother stood up, he ran to you and grabbed your hand. Using his body to open the doors, at first he was trying to think where the two of you should go because he could hear the venue hall doors open again. You hold his hand tight and said, “Jungwoo’s outside with the getaway car, let’s go.”

Jungwoo had a proud smile on his face, knowing that the plan they laid out was a success. He wished you two good luck and watched as you drove away, just in time for the families who tried to stop the groom from running away to arrive. Jungwoo only gave them a chuckle and went back inside the building.

“That was exhilarating!” You burst, stopping at a red light. “W-wait, was it right? Do you really want to run away with me?”

Jaehyun chuckles, “Of course, I do. I wouldn’t want to marry that girl anyway, she’s not the one I love.”

“So our friends were saying the truth that you still love me,”

“No one could ever replace you, baby.”

Three days ago, you crashed Jaehyun’s wedding.

And now you’re in a taxi, in a different country and on your way to the Airbnb that he booked during the flight, where you two plan to stay and hide for a few weeks until the situation back home subsides. According to Johnny, the assigned correspondent, Jaehyun’s mother kept on yelling at him after he and Mark stopped her and even called his best friends a bad influence for tolerating the groom. When Jaehyun was sure that his mother was not at his apartment, he went back home and packed a bag because the original plan was, he was staying at your place for a few weeks but something tells him that he shouldn’t. So once he got back to your apartment, he asked you to come with him to the airport.

He didn’t exactly tell you where you were going until he handed you the plane ticket, which you may have slapped his chest so hard when you saw where you two were headed. The place you two planned to go to on your 10th anniversary— Milan, Italy. Once you arrived at the lodging, after a long flight, you two fell asleep in each other’s arms. The two of you slept for so long that the sun already rose when you woke up. A new day in a new environment, in a place you’ll call home for a few weeks (possibly months).

“I love you so fucking much, Y/N.” He whispers on your skin, “I’m so glad I didn’t say my vows, I’m so glad you were around when they said speak now.”

You giggle, “That sounds like the lyrics of Speak Now by Taylor!”

“Well, Taylor is right. You’re not the kind of girl who rudely barged in a wedding, and I’m not the kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl.” He smiled, “because you’re the right girl for me.”

“Cheesy.” You laugh, “Can’t believe I experienced one of Taylor’s songs in real life…”

DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE.

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neftiigaz · 8 months

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HEY!!! my wonderful @edikovryakov and I have been thinking about erigamtav for a very long time, just a couple of months ago. and so they came,,,, what if they had children

you ask who from whom and so on. I explain. eritav has a daughter, and gamtav has a son. tavros is a common parent for children. unfortunately or fortunately, we did not create a third, so erigam child, or erigam are too complex in relation to them and it makes sense to have a larva for them, well, sorry, there is no way

Edi the daughter of eritav was engaged in the creation and development as a person, and I was engaged with my son gamtav

Edi has already shown Tosya in his blog, and I will immediately tell you about him - the gamtav larva (by the way the fact is Tamzik and Tosya are sister and brother and similarly Gamzee for Tosya/Eridan is an uncle for Tamzik)

link to this post about Tosya:

homestuck style old reference;

his name is Tamzik Makara (or Nitram-Makara) and a simplified version of the name Tamz, Tamzee (he looks like a capybara what the hell is so funny and cool-)

by the way, on the t-shirt to the right of our point of view there is a drawing with ":0)" and then it is not visible eheh

the first design that was created back in April:

(bitch what a faggot he is-)

by the way, initially he should be a mutant with such a burgundy color

and sigh (perhaps it can be considered as relevant)

unfortunately, I didn't have enough strength to draw like Edi from whom did the genes, facial features, etc., I chose the text after all. it is difficult, or my native language is not English at all, but the main thing is that I am not burned out to drawing

well, let's continue. of course, logically, the genes and similar facial features got more from Gamzee, or he is a higher-blood.

Tamzik got from Gamzee from the genes:

★blood

★ hair (moreover, in adulthood, the troll will clearly have hairiness all over his body)

★ the shape of the horns (at the tip of the horns slightly flattens the wavy shape like a gamzee)

★ mouth and teeth

★ ears

from Tavros:

★ tail (or it looks slightly bullish)

★ eyes and eyebrows

★ the shape of the horns (massive and growing from the visical part of the head)

by nature, Tamz is active, playful, optimistic, maybe even a little rude. he is silly dog (just like his daddy makara)

and I even thought about the emo phase in his maturing (i.e. teenage) age,,,yeah

EMO PHASE RISE UP!!!!/j

probably that's all, thanks for reading the under-article

reblog is allowed!!!

#homestuck #tavros nitram #gamzee makara #gamtav #tamzik makara #tamzik nitram-makara #fankid

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shirogane-oushirou · 22 days

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OMG RENNIVERSAY???? HAPPY ANNIVERSARY AGAIN YAYYYY GUSH PASS IF U WANT HEHE 🎫🎫🎫

😭💕💕💕 THANK YOU NIIICK!!!!!!! for both the oushiversary and the renniversary (and honestly all of the time), your tags on rbs make me so giddy and emotional and i'm always so thankful ;w; wah.

i have a hard time expressing just how much ren has done for me this past year so... it's rambling time ksjdnfjk...

[pet death mention] my baby boy cyrus had lost his battle with cancer just a week prior to The Dream. i won't ramble about him here, but he was my biggest support when home life got fuck-y; losing him was like losing a part of myself. [/pet death mention end]

unfortunately i didn't have much to focus on afterward... i was trying to keep busy, but the art parties i'd been attending went on a long hiatus shortly after this, and while i TRIED vrc for a bit i found The Social Anxiety meant it wasn't the best choice for me ;;

and then i had this long, cinematic dream, about befriending and getting flirty with a dorky, fruity scientist from the c.dc (lol. lmao. i would NEVER!!!!! that's the very first thing i changed about him KJASNDKJN) who was fun and goofy and was so so loving to his niece who followed him around everywhere ;w;

and then he did a little villain heel-turn after being infected by a sentient parasite (also lol. lmao. my brain trying to bully me and make me feel bad... but it does it in the form of a cute bisexual man? 🥴). and of COURSE when his niece and i acted afraid of him he did the whole "i'll destroy everyone powerful in this city. and i won't let anyone or anything harm you." thing and i just OOUGHHHH. there's more to it than that, and i don't want to ramble TOO much, but he was so clearly twisted-justice-but-loves-people-so-hard core. that's the good shit ughhh.

and so! according to the document timestamp, i woke up at 5:45am, opened my ipad, went into procreate, and went to town scribbling down a vague idea of his face and mannerisms before passing out again. i KNEW i didn't want to forget this guy; i immediately felt he was special. most of my ocs come from dreams in some form, but he was already almost fully formed. The Ideal. To Me...

and when i woke up for real, i spent the day nailing down his design. and i was Officially Doomed from then on u_u

he's changed SO MUCH in the past year (just the fact that i had to revive his supernatural villain form as a separate AU a few months ago is proof of that KJANSDKJN)... as have i. he gave me someone to focus on as i healed, a reason to continue drawing in spite of the aforementioned art party hiatus, pushed me to join the selfship community For Real, lead to me meeting so many people and making so many friends outside of my teeny tiny a-couple of-friends-from-college circle, helped me appreciate the oc creation process and AUs so much more, pushed me to do monthly art challenges that i haven't done since before i fell ill...

and just... made me love myself more. made me appreciate the things i didn't like about myself. helped me realize the potential of selfshipping in general, to be a tool to see oneself as deserving of love, even if it takes making a fictional character play messenger between the self-doubt and self-acceptance bits of your brain.

i likely would have just stayed in my own little corner -- my quiet little oushirou blog that i didn't have linked anywhere, chatting in stream chats but not talking to any chatters outside of that -- if not for ren. i've met so many people who have similar struggles! different struggles! similar and completely different interests! gone completely outside of my comfort zone and found such a good circle of people who uplift each other!! HELL, my art blog has multiple times the followers as i have here, but they only ever interacted with my umi.neko art LMAO -- here it feels like we all want to support each others' art and writing and other creations and rambles and and and.

and it's because ren gave me a reason to make that step. start tagging things, start following people and reaching out, chatting with people who reached out to me... he's genuinely changed my life for the better. ;w; i don't think i'll ever be able to express just how thankful i am that he came to me at the exact moment i needed him most. i love him so so much rghhhrgh. gripping him in my fist and kissing him all over his face forever and ever. 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

#thank you nick kajsndfkjn this got so long again lmao i just. he's changed my life so quickly and drastically.#i was isolated for YEARS before he pushed me into openly selfshipping. i can't get across how important he is to me succinctly ;;;#i don't believe in the traditional fandom definition of 'soulmates' but... according to my views on it he definitely is one for me 🥹#📌 [ my posts. ]#[ asks. ]#[ oomfies ; nick. ]#[ renniversary. ]#🧃 [ who is in control. ]#🍄 [ lying on the blade of an emotion. ]#pet death -#<- clearly marked; 2 sentences right under the readmore

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mcrmadness · 3 years

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Madness draws: DÄ (Bela/Farin) COMICS

HELLLLOOOOOO I just finished my newest dä comic!!! The idea is very old, from 2012 or something but I never drew this comic because I suddenly stopped drawing until I started again a couple of years ago and decided to do this one first.

It took me ages to decide what kind of dialog I want to use, and I rewrote it several times and got new ideas until I knew what I wanted. I started the actual drawing last Saturday and over the past week I have been working on the comic on several days and today I finally finished it. I would say I have used at least... maybe 20 hours on this overall? I am not sure but I often spend 6-8 hours in a row drawing this and that happened at least 3-4 times this week. I did not count in the days when I just kept sketching the storyboards and other things to my sketchbook... anyway, here’s the comic, I hope you like it!

Make sure to click them bigger especially if on desktop, Tumblr tends to make the preview images a bit blurry. (Clicking them again to open in a new tab from there makes them to show up in the real size.)

Artist notes:

I have no idea if they are even in character. I don’t know if this makes any sense to anyone. The idea of the comic comes from my old German books. There literally was some exercise about SMS abbreviations and together with my German teacher we laughed at “widumihei” because seriously, does anyone seriously propose someone else over a text message, with an SMS abbreviation??? In my original idea it was Farin who was meant to send the text message to Bela but because now I know better about how Farin sees marriage, I felt that it’d be more logical if Bela sent the message. And I don’t know, somehow I feel that he could do a prank like that?

Also I don’t know why Farin got so angry. It just happened. They kinda started to live their own lives. Also those front-side faces are something I have drawn only maybe once or twice before + practiced them a little to my sketchbook before this comic so that’s why they look weird. I simply just don’t know how to draw them properly yet.

I own a 72 piece set of Derwent Watercolor colored pencils and it was about time I use more than just a couple of different colors. I’m actually quite happy about how many colors I eventually ended up using, there’s lots of layering and some places have 3-4 colors to them. It was actually so much fun to color this! I haven’t really done backgrounds before, apart from one comic that I don’t think I ever even posted here? But yeah, this one just needed some kind of a place and this is the room I saw in my head. Choosing the colors was also lots of fun because I had no idea of the color scheme but I just picked an object, decided how to color it and that color somehow already gave me an idea of what color I want for another object. I also bought a new ProMarker because the old one started to die before I got the panels done first and this new one somehow bled and did those random splotches here and there but that’s okay. I guess I just need to start storing them in horizontal position instead of the pen cans.

An easter egg: Sadly this is hard to see because I decided to use a different angle for the second panel (didn’t know how to draw the first idea so had to use another) but Farin’s phone stand is a tiny beach chair. Because why the heck not. And a beach chair is maybe the most difficult thing ever to figure out and draw, even with references! And oh boy did I practice. But then I didn’t even need it apart from these tiny tiny versions lmao.

#ok to reblog #mcrmadness draws #my drawings #my comics #dä fanart #die ärzte #belafarin #I'm calling myself artist because Farin called me artist in his email in 2012 and now he finally has also seen my art yaass.#I linked him the HELL drawing I did a couple of months ago.

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temilyrights · 3 years

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break the mould (emily prentiss x reader)

Summary: There were plenty of moments where you could have put a stop to what was happening, but the thing about being in love with someone, was that when they finally kissed you, the reasons for staying away were forgotten and all that mattered was the woman you loved might, just maybe, love you back.

Word Count: 8k (It’s a long one folks<3) AO3 Link

A/N: This one was a journey! It took a long time to write and actually made me sad so I hope it was worth it. I think I'm proud of this one but we are all aware I'm dependent on feedback so we'll see what you all think before I form an opinion<3 Thank you so much @prentisspoppet for proofreading it for me because I couldn't look at it a second longer - you're a lifesaver!

Warnings: alcohol, cheating, affair, swearing. angst!! happy ending though<3 16+

Las Vegas lost its appeal the second or third time you’d been there on a case, but Rossi always managed to convince the unit chief to stay an extra night so he could go waste money in the casinos.

(Hotch gave in to him way too quickly every single time, and Emily wasn’t much better at saying no. This afternoon she hadn’t cared enough to argue, especially after seeing Alvez’s and Tara’s hopeful expressions).

Tara had coaxed you into having one too many drinks at dinner, so even with the food, you were feeling a little tipsy. Not quite enough to join them when they all disappear to go out, but enough that you and Emily decide to remain at the table drinking wine and laughing for over an hour after everyone else has left.

It’s the waiters getting annoyed you were taking up such a large table that finally gets you to leave. Emily buys a bottle of wine on the way out, ignoring your protests about heading to the nearest shop instead to save money.

“It’s too far and I’m too lazy.” She said as she paid the bartender. She then finds your hand and drags you along with her to the elevator.

You end up in her room.

Half a bottle later, she’s stretched out across the floor, eyes closed but still awake, while you sit beside her, back resisting against the bed and taking swigs from the bottle.

“You’re going to fall asleep.” You comment, looking down at her and ignoring the way your heart clenches at the sight. It had been happening more and more frequently over the last couple of months and you didn’t understand why because you’d thought you’d gotten these feelings under control years ago.

Emily doesn’t open her eyes as she responds. “No, I won’t. This floor is uncomfortable as hell and I’m not nearly drunk enough to forget how badly my back will hurt if I pass out here.”

“Okay.” You chuckle, only half believing her. “Want more wine?”

She scrunches up her nose. “No, it’s gross.”

It was. “You spent $50 on it.”

She groans, rolling her head to the side. “Please don’t remind me.”

“I guess it’s better than that time you bought yourself a hot tub even though you don’t have a garden.” You snort. Drunk Emily was the queen of stupid purchases. She had ended up giving it to JJ because the store wouldn’t let her return it.

“Fuck off.”

You laugh, and Emily shoves your leg half-heartedly.

It falls silent again. She lays still while you take the occasional sip from the bottle, drawing patterns into the carpet with your finger.

You aren’t sure of the time (your phone had been abandoned somewhere in the room when you’d arrived and you didn’t care enough to search for it) but you know it’s late, and it’s because of that and the wine in your system that you ask the question you do.

“Are you happy?”

Emily’s brows furrow as she opens her eyes and stares up at you.

“With Mendoza.” You clarify, fingers digging deeper into the carpet. “Are you happy?”

“Of course,” She says, smiling in a way that doesn’t meet her eyes. “He loves me a lot.”

“Right.” You nod, “Good.”

Emily clears her throat, looking away. “He’s, uh, actually asked me to meet his daughter.”

“Oh, wow. That’s a big step.” You take a gulp of wine. Why did you do this to yourself? Why ask?

“Yeah. It is.” She sighs and pushes herself up. Grabbing the bottle from your hands, she sits beside you and takes a long swig.

The tension in her body is obvious but before you can reassure her that she’ll do amazingly, Emily’s trying to refocus the attention on you.

“Are you happy?”

“Yeah.” You shrug, snatching the bottle back.

And you were, practically. Maybe a little lonely, but it’s your own fault for being in love with your best friend.

“You’ve seemed down recently.” Emily comments, looking at you in question.

You take another sip of wine.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, but I’m always here to listen.”

“I know.” You nod, smiling weakly at her. You push the wine bottle back into her hands and watch her tip her head back and take a sip. A bit of the red liquid spills and runs down from her lip.

Your thumb swipes out to catch it, brushing the edge of her mouth much too slowly.

Emily lowers the bottle, watching you closely, and you can’t decipher the emotions in her eyes but it stops you from pulling away.

Her gaze drops to your lips before slowly meeting your eyes again, and your heart beats so loudly it reaches your ears.

You drag her chin forward, and she follows without protest. Her eyes drop back to your lips before falling close and meeting your mouth in a kiss that’s soft and slow.

You release a shaky breath when she pulls away, scared to see what would surely be regret, but instead, she just places the wine bottle down, mutters a “don’t wanna spill that” before she leans back in, her hand caressing your cheek as she kisses you.

There’s no urgency to the kisses, both of you taking your time to explore each other’s mouths. Your hand falls to her thigh to steady yourself and Emily mews into your mouth, causing your thighs to clench together.

She grabs the fabric of your shirt and tugs you forward, signalling for you to get onto her lap which you do without protest, she releases a small whine when you detach your mouth from hers momentarily and it makes you chuckle.

Your hands find her hair, while hers start at your hips and slowly begin to slide under the back of your shirt.

“We should stop.” You say between kisses, because you should, but god you don’t want to.

“Yeah.” She sighs but grips at you tighter.

“Emily,” You try again when she pulls away, but then her mouth drops to your neck and your head tips back and her name becomes a sigh.

Your protests die out after that because you’ve wanted this since you met her all those years ago. And the wine fogging your brain allows you to ignore the part of you that knows this is only happening because she’s freaking out about Mendoza.

Because Emily always ran when things got too much.

She self-sabotaged and moved to whole different fucking countries.

But when her teeth nip at your throat and her hands begin unbuttoning your shirt, that’s the furthest thought from your mind.

You love her and fuck you’ll let her destroy you for one night of feeling like she loves you back.

“Let me make you feel good.” She whispers, hot breath tickling your ear.

Your breathing stutters and your eyes fall close. She kisses along your jaw as she pushes the shirt from your shoulders. “What do you say?” She hums

“Yes. God, yes. Please.” You beg.

And she does, again and again. She explores every inch of your body, whispering forbidden words along the way and you do the same in return. “I’ve wanted to do this for years.” She mummers at one point and it’s enough to bring tears to your eyes. You push them away, stopping the ‘I love you’ that threatens to burst from your lips by kissing her deeply.

It’s somehow more than you’ve ever let yourself dream about and yet not quite what you want. It’s her calling you stunning and explaining in detail what she wants to do to you. It’s moments of laughter and soft smiles and gentle kisses between the passion. It’s her eyes dark with desire and need, and it's her head tipped back in pleasure as you make her come undone again and again and again.

But all of that is tainted by the fact you know that it isn’t love that she’s feeling for you. It’s destruction masked by desire. Because deep down she must know that this will affect your friendship but it's easier for her to bury herself in you, and to harm her relationship with Mendoza than it is to accept the fact she loves him and meeting his daughter makes that relationship real, it gives her roots she can’t run from and that terrifies her.

You’re her escape for the night and you know it, but hours later when both of you are too exhausted to move, she holds you in her arms and presses a lazy kiss against your forehead and you begin to question if maybe it’s more for her. You look at her, taking in everything about the moment and the only thing stopping tears from forming in your eyes at her expression is sheer exhaustion because the look on her face is something you’d only ever seen in quick flashes, it’s affection, and if you were dumb enough, something you might have dared to call love. Instead, you let your eyes fall close and finally succumb to sleep.

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You wake to sunlight peeking through the open blinds. Emily’s arms are still wrapped around you, holding you tightly to her side. Her soft snores tickle your hair and make you smile. Your body aches in amazing ways but it isn’t enough to dull out the thumping of your head and the heavy feeling in your heart.

Emily grumbles but doesn’t wake as you detach yourself from her arms. You dress in silence. It takes everything in you to not climb back into the bed, but you just remind yourself how she’ll freak out when she realises what she’s done, how she’ll apologise and regret it and you won’t be able to stop yourself from crying if you hear her say those words.

You grab your bag and shoes, not bothering to put the latter on as you quietly open the door and slip out of the room.

You blow out a deep breath as tears burn your eyes. This was properly the stupidest thing you’d ever done, and you weren’t even sure you regretted it.

A door opening down the corridor spurs you into action. You suck in your tears and turn and then freeze when you notice Reid slipping out of Alvez’s room.

He meets your eyes and stops. Panic and fear run through his face before he sighs and lowers his head. Everyone knew anyway, just no one spoke about it because Reid and Alvez were yet to say anything.

“It’s still new.” He whispers as he approaches and if you weren’t still freaking the fuck out about what he’s about to realise you would have formulated a response.

His eyes flick between you and the door behind you. His mouth falls open. “You and-”

“Don’t.” You warn.

“Y/N...” Reid says, his voice aching with sympathy.

And it’s too soon, too fresh. You hadn’t had time to break down and piece yourself back together yet so there’s no stopping the tears that fill your eyes.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” You grit even as your hands shake. “Don’t breathe a word of this to anyone or I swear to god…”

Reid shakes his head and holds his hands up. “I won’t.” He promises.

You walk past him, keeping your head high and tears back. You wait until you are in your room to let your tears fall, and even then it’s only once you reach the shower and can hide them amongst the spray of water.

It was fine.

Everything would be fine.

It would be awkward for a few days, Emily would avoid you until she could throw herself at Mendoza and reassure herself what happened was a mistake. And then the two of you would pretend it never happened.

There would be no discussing it.

And somehow you will find a way to fall out of love with your best friend.

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Reid is waiting in the lobby with two cups of coffee when you arrive. He holds one out for you, a placating smile on his face. “Here. I thought you could use it.”

“Thank you.” You murmur, accepting the cup with a small smile of your own. His shoulders relax and he lifts his own cup up to take a sip of the drink.

“Where is everyone?” You ask. The rest of the team was usually in the lobby by this time, yet no one was here.

“Already outside. Apart from JJ who's gone to find Emily because she’s yet to appear.”

You tense, nodding your head stiffly. “Right.”

Reid studies you, picking up on your rigidness. “I won’t say anything to anyone, not even Luke. I promise.”

“I know.” You respond, looking at him with a tired smile. He wouldn’t push for more information but you can see his curiosity as he tries to piece it all together.

“It was just a one-time thing.” You say quietly, dropping your head to hide the tears that pool in your eyes. You clear your throat and blink them away. “It won’t happen again.”

He sighs, “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but she’ll come to her senses eventually.”

You frown and lift your head to meet his eyes. “And realise what? It only happened because she was freaking out and I was there.”

A deep frown spreads across his face. “You don’t honestly believe that, do you?”

“It’s what happened.”

“Y/N,” He sighs. “She loves you.”

“Reid, don’t.” You warn. Your heart flutters forbiddingly at the thought.

"She is with Mendoza because she thinks she should be, not because she loves him. You weren’t the mistake. He is.” He urges.

You shake your head, blinking away tears. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but please stop. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

His voice softens as his brows furrow. “But you two are meant to be together.”

You smile sadly, “We were only ever meant to be friends, and I came to terms with that a long time ago.” You tilt your head, sighing. “Last night was a slip up on my part, I knew better.”

“You’re already detaching yourself from what happened. Have you even spoken to her about it?”

“What’s there to say?” You shrug helplessly.

“Y/N,” Reid tries to protest but he’s interrupted by the dinging of the elevator and Emily and JJ stepping out into the lobby. You turn around and your heart pounds at the sight of her.

She doesn’t look in your direction, just walks past with a death grip on her bag. “Five minutes and we leave.” She announces as she passes.

It’s dumb, but your heart sinks. There had been a tiny part of you that had hoped she’d show you some kind of emotion that proved last night meant something to her, but instead she practically ignored you, proving what you already knew. She regretted it.

You turn back to Reid and sigh, “Come on. The sooner I get out of Las Vegas, the better.”

He looks like he wants to say more, but he deflates. “Fine.”

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You’d just finished drying the last of your dishes when the phone started to ring. You drop the tea towel on the counter before pulling your mobile from your pocket.

It’s Emily. Your stomach twists.

You’d avoided looking at her the whole day and had deliberately gotten into the other SUV to her and sat as far away as possible on the jet. Occasionally you’d feel her eyes stray to you, but you always kept your head in your phone and refused to meet her gaze.

You hadn’t expected her to call.

You blow out a breath before answering. “Hey.”

The phone crackles for a moment. “Hi.” She responds, tiredness clear in her voice.

You clutch the phone tighter, fiddling with a pen that had been laying on the counter as you wait for her to lead the call.

After a long moment, she speaks. “Y/N…” Her voice cracks “I’m sorry.”

Your eyes fall close, tears threatening to burst free as you grip the pen tightly. “I know.”

“Last night...”

You sniff. “It was a mistake. We were drunk.”

“Drunk. Right.” She agrees.

It’s silent for another long moment. Long enough that you’re half concerned the phone’s disconnected until her hesitant voice travels down the line.

“Are we okay?”

And you hate that this is your life now. You really weren’t sure what she’d have to do for you to leave her side. She didn’t just have your heart, she had your entire body and she wasn’t even aware.

“Yeah, Em.” Silent tears drip down your cheeks. “We’re okay.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t. I promise.”

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And she doesn’t. It’s not the same, but it becomes the new normal.

The first month is difficult. Emily can’t be near you without looking riddled with guilt, and it hurts so much it feels like you’re getting stabbed in the chest any time you see her.

But eventually, it begins to settle. The heartache fades to a bearable level. Emily starts properly smiling around you again and sometimes it feels like it never happened.

But then you’ll accidentally touch her hand or she’ll brush past you and you’ll both flinch. It’s probably the worst consequence of the whole thing because Emily shows her love through touch and on so many occasions she goes to reach out, only to stop herself.

Occasionally you catch her watching you. It’s only for a flash before she looks away, but the expression on her face looks like longing and it makes your heart ache all over again.

You aren’t sure what the team thinks, they definitely noticed the slight tension at the beginning, but as the two of you get better at pretending, it seems they think everything is fine. Well, apart from Reid, who watches your interactions closely, and looks at you with probing eyes that you had no idea how to deal with so choose to ignore.

But it’s okay.

It’s good, really, all things considered.

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“Prentiss, what the hell!” You yell, storming over to the ambulance where she was currently sitting, holding an ice pack to her head.

She’d separated herself from the team, and the unsub had gotten the jump on her. Apart from being a little bruised up, she really was okay, but that knowledge was not calming the pounding of your heart and the bile rising in your throat at the thought of losing her.

“I’m fine.” She dismisses, wincing at your loud voice.

You deflate slightly. “I can’t believe you.” You grumble. “You could have gotten seriously hurt.”

“I know,” She sighs, tiredness shining in her eyes “and I’m sorry.”

“What?” You respond in surprise. Emily never gave in that easily. It was usually an uphill battle to even get her to sit in the ambulance.

“What?” She defends.

“How hard did you hit your head?”

She rolls her eyes, smirking. “Funny.”

“No, I’m being serious. You’ve never apologised for anything this quickly in your life."

“People change.” She shrugs. “Growth or whatever.”

You stare at her, brows creased in amusement. “Yeah, people change. You don’t.”

“Hey!” She protests and then immediately winces at the loud sound of her voice. Her voice lowers to a murmur. “I’ve changed.”

“Alright, so how about we go to the hospital to get you a proper checkup?”

“I don’t need to-” She starts to protest, but at your knowing look, she stops and rolls her eyes. “That’s different! I am fine.”

“Emily,” You sigh.

“Y/N,” She mimics back. “If you’re that worried, you can give me a lift home. I don’t have a concussion, just a headache that I would like to take painkillers for. So, please.”

You weigh your options for all of three seconds before sighing. “Fine. Get in the car.”

Emily grins, entirely too proud of herself as she hops off the back of the ambulance. You roll your eyes and try to squash the small smirk threatening to break free as you follow after her.

“Oh, can we stop by the office too? I need to grab my bags.” She asks.

“Was planning on it anyway.” You smirk. “Garcia demanded it.”

She winces. “Oh god.”

The journey back to Quantico is quick. Emily spends 20 minutes trying to convince Garcia she’s okay while you wait in Emily’s office with the bags.

When she returns you have to stop her from taking painkillers with coffee. You steal the coffee cup from her desk and replace it with a glass of water, completely ignoring her grumbles.

It’s another hour before you get to hers with a fresh bag of takeout food that Emily had demanded you stop for on the way.

“Will you please sit down?” You huff, as you move around her and pull plates from her cupboards.

“Are you bossing me around my own home?” She smirks, eyebrows raised in amusement.

“Yes. Now sit.” You order, placing the plates on the table before turning and grabbing glasses.

She snorts and slides into a chair. She opens the bag of food and begins to dish it out.

You return with two glasses of water. Emily looks at them, unimpressed.

“You are not having wine after taking painkillers.”

She rolls her eyes and mumbles something under her breath you don’t catch.

“What was that?”

“I called you a killjoy.”

You laugh. “Fine by me.”

She rolls her eyes again, an affectionate smile on her lips as she lowers her head and digs into the food.

Emily occasionally winces and shifts in her chair, trying to find a comfortable position, but you don’t comment on it, happy to instead focus on the easy conversation and making her laugh. It’s nice watching the stress of the day leave her body, her smile gets more real as the time goes on, and her laughter has butterflies swarming in your stomach.

You’re just clearing the table, moving the plates to the sink to deal with later when Emily’s phone starts blaring. Mendoza’s caller ID lights up the screen, and your happiness instantly melts away. Emily’s smile dims, and she picks her phone up with an apologetic look.

“Sorry. I’ll only be a few minutes.” She says, rising from her chair with a wince.

“It’s fine.” You urge, but you know your strained smile betrays you. “I should probably get going anyway.”

“No, stay. Please.” She pleads. “I’ll be quick, I promise.”

You stare at her for a moment, figuring out if she was being genuine or not and when you decide she is, you relent. “Okay.”

She smiles softly, nodding her head before she retreats outside to her balcony. You drop your head into your hands and blow out a long breath.

It’s been five months since Las Vegas and you hadn’t seen Mendoza in person once which you were incredibly grateful for, but it also meant it was easy to forget he existed, especially when Emily had started smiling at you again. It has allowed you to lull yourself into a false reality so now every time someone mentions him or Emily’s phone lights up with a text or call from him it’s like getting hit with a brick.

“I’m okay, really Andrew. You don’t need to come over.” You hear Emily say, her tone soft but sure. There’s a pause as Mendoza responds but then she sighs.

“It’s late and I'm tired. I’m just going to go to bed, there’s no need. Okay?” It’s impossible not to notice the way she’s avoided even mentioning the fact you’re here. It makes you feel gross and you push yourself up from the table, seeking somewhere where you can’t hear their conversation.

You end up in her study, browsing her large collection of books, most of which are in piles on the floor instead of the perfectly good bookcase which is filled with trinkets, photos, and awards. You smile at the sight of her overfilled desk, paperwork and books fill the table in a way that reminds you of Reid. It’s ridiculous really, you have no idea how she even functions in this room. Every time you come over it gets increasingly messier, which really shouldn’t be possible, but you love her for it. It’s weirdly endearing, especially when compared to the rest of her home which is always tidy.

You run your fingers along the edge of the desk, smiling at the mess. You reach for one of the books, carefully flicking through the pages, tracing the lines of a language you can’t read.

A small box sits on her desk, hidden behind a pen pot. You reach out for it curiously and your stomach lurches when your fingers touch the blue velvet and you’re faced with what could not be anything other than a ring box. You open it with a shaking hand.

Oh.

No, no, no, no.

It was an engagement ring. She was marrying him.

“Fuck.” You cry, tears dripping down your cheeks as you stare at the ring. It was beautiful, perfectly suited for her but god you hated it. Hated him.

You wondered if he even knew about Las Vegas?

“Sorry about that.” Emily sighs, stepping into the room. Your back is to her so she can’t see the tears rolling down your cheeks or the box you’re holding. “It’s gross in here, come on.” She urges as she approaches. You try to wipe the evidence of your tears away but you already know your face is going to be puffy.

“I was thinking we could watch-” Her voice cuts off when she sees what you’re holding. “Oh.” She croaks.

“You got engaged.” You say, turning your head to look at her. You try to smile but it’s weak and flimsy and is easily outshone by the pain in your eyes.

She clears her throat, “Andrew proposed.” She says carefully, eyes flicking to the side. “I, uh, I haven’t given him an answer yet.”

“Are you going to say yes?” You ask, voice hoarse as your eyes drift back to the ring in your hands.

“I don’t know.” She responds helplessly, eyes burning into the side of your head.

The words don’t fill you with relief like you thought they would, instead they fill you with a sense of dread because this was another moment where you could predict Emily doing something similar to Las Vegas, and you honestly weren’t sure you could survive that again.

You close the ring box and return it to the desk, forcing a smile to your lips before you meet her gaze. You need to get out of here and fast. “I’m happy for you, whatever you decide.”

She frowns, looking at you closely. “Are you?”

“Of course.”

“But you were crying.”

You sigh, stepping back and turning away. “It’s been a long day.” You say at a loss for a better excuse. You know it won’t satisfy her. “I should get going anyway.”

“Wait, no.” She protests, reaching out for your arm. You freeze at the touch, and Emily sighs and removes her hand. Her voice lowers to a raspy whisper. “Please. I’m sorry.”

You turn and look back at her, surprised to find her eyes brewing with tears. “I don’t know what you want from me, Emily.” You shrug helplessly.

“I want you to stop looking at me like it physically hurts you to be near me.”

You gulp, blinking away the tears that rush to your eyes.

She steps closer, her hand twitches but she doesn’t reach out. “I want to know if what happened in Las Vegas meant something to you.” She says, voice hoarse with emotion.

“Let’s not do this tonight.” You say, “It’s late and you need to rest.”

“Y/N,” She begs. “I need to know.”

You bite your lip, shaking your head in frustration as your emotions swirl. “No, Emily.” You grit. “We agreed it was a mistake, let’s leave it at that.”

“You said it was a mistake, I never did.”

Your eyes narrow and your lip curls. “Don’t be cruel.”

“I’m not-”

“Yes, you are!” You shout. “So, quit it. Let it go.”

“Can you stop running from this for two seconds and just talk to me!” She yells and clutches her side, pain flickering across her face but you don’t notice.

You laugh, bitter and broken and she takes a step back in surprise. Months of conflicting feelings that you’d kept buried and tried to ignore were bursting out because you were angry. Angry at her for using you as her escape and angry at yourself for being stupid enough to slip.

“You are the one who’s running! You always are.”

“I’m not.” She says seriously, “Not this time.”

“Then why now, Emily?” You snap. “Why now after five months of nothing do you feel the need to talk about it?”

She shakes her head, searching for words she can’t find.

“It’s because he proposed and you’re scared.” You say, voice cruel and broken. “I understand marriage is a big thing, but I won’t be your escape again, I won’t do it. We both know in a week you will accept his proposal because you love him, and if you push this…” You shake your head, tears pooling in your eyes “I’m going to end up breaking the one thing I promised you.”

“What if I don’t want to marry him?” She asks quietly.

It’s a plea for something, and if you were just her friend this is where you’d deflate and soften and be there for her, but it’s too late and you’re too tired and you don’t believe her.

So you shrug, “Then don’t.”

“It’s not that simple.” She defends, shaking her head.

“Yes, it is!” You laugh.

“No, it’s not!” She booms. The frames on the walls rattle, and your eyes widen in surprise. A heavy silence descends on the room as you both stare at each other.

She takes deep breaths, looking at you with helpless eyes that are full of tears. Her voice is barely above a whisper when she finally speaks. “I’m so tired of hurting the people I love.”

You shake your head sadly, eyes softening as you look at her. “Emily…”

“But this time maybe I can fix that.” She says frustratedly “If I could just make him happy then maybe it makes up for everything else.”

You look away as your stomach lurches. “Makes up for sleeping with me.” You murmur.

“No-”

“Did you ever tell him?” You interrupt, meeting her eyes again.

“No.”

It’s what you expected but it still hurts. You force a wobbly smile to your lips. “But what happened wasn’t a mistake, huh?”

She shakes her head, looking to the side instead of at you as she bites her lip. When she meets your eyes again her eyes are full of anguish. “He doesn’t know because I knew if he found out he’d ask me to choose between him and you.”

You nod your head, tears dripping down your cheeks. “And you’d choose him.”

“No.” She laughs, “I’d choose you, and that’s the problem.”

Your mouth falls open as you stare at her in surprise. Emily chuckles brokenly.

“See, I can’t stop, even when I’m trying not to break things I do it anyway. My whole life all I’ve done is hurt people, over and over again. Matthew, You, Spencer, Morgan, JJ, Garcia, Andrew. All of you. It never ends.”

You frown, trying and failing to clear the emotion from your throat as you slowly shake your head. “Emily, no.”

“I just thought with Andrew it would be different. I could prove to myself that I could love someone without hurting them, but I can’t.” She looks away, slapping her lips together. “Maybe I’m not meant to love.”

You step forward, reaching for her hand and tugging her towards you without a second thought. Emily looks at you in surprise.

“You’re wrong.” You say seriously. “Your love is extraordinary. It’s made me bolder, stronger, and better. It’s made me feel safe. Anyone who is a recipient of your love will tell you the same thing, they are so grateful that they are the one you chose to love. Your love isn’t bad Emily, it’s beautiful.”

Heavy tears drip down her cheeks, “You think so?”

“I know so.” You smile, squeezing her hand. With your spare hand, you reach out and wipe away some of her tears. She leans into the touch, holding your gaze. She smiles weakly, the pain fading from her eyes and being replaced by pure love.

It takes your breath away. You recognise the look, it’s the one you’d seen in quick flashes for years, the one you’d been pretending wasn’t what you hoped it was, but seeing it now there was no mistaking it. It wasn’t just affection, it was love. She loved you.

Your heart stutters, and you pull away. Stepping back and allowing your hand to drop from hers.

It’s too much. Too real.

“Y/N?” She questions, brows drawing together in confusion.

“What does all this mean?” You ask sadly, wrapping your arms around yourself.

“I told you my reason for moving to London, right?”

You frown at the abrupt change in conversation but nod your head. “Yeah. You couldn’t grasp onto your old life. You needed a fresh start.”

She blows out a shaky breath and nods, a sad smile gracing her lips. “What I didn’t tell you was for those seven months, when everything felt wrong and I felt like an imposter in my own life...you-” her voice cracks and she quickly blinks away tears. She clears her throat, “You felt like home.”

Tears pool in your eyes as you stare at her.

“You were the only thing that felt right, and it’s what made me realise that I was, am, so very deeply in love with you because nothing has ever made more sense to me than me with you.”

“Emily,” You cry.

“I love Andrew but I’m not in love with him. I wanted to be for all the wrong reasons. To prove things to myself and also because I was too scared of going after what I really wanted. I didn’t want to risk our friendship, but then you kissed me and I thought maybe this was my chance, but you were gone when I woke up.”

“You really don’t regret that night?”

“How could I?”

Your mouth opens and closes as tears trickle down your cheeks. Eventually, you release a noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh. “You love me?”

“So much. I’m going to end things with Andrew. Don’t worry, that doesn’t mean I expect us to be together. I understand-”

You cut her off with a kiss, grabbing her hand and dragging her into your arms. Emily makes a small noise of surprise before melting into you. When you pull back, you’re smiling. “I love you too.”

“But you left.” She responds in confusion, still holding you in her arms.

“I thought you were using me to sabotage your relationship with Mendoza. I thought you were scared of setting down roots with him and lashed out. I thought,” Your voice cracks and you clear your throat, “I thought you’d wake up and start saying it was a mistake and you regretted it and I couldn’t stand to hear that. I didn’t want you to know that that night meant everything to me, and I never regretted it for a moment because I got a night where I could pretend you loved me as much as I love you.”

Emily’s face drops. She cups your cheek, gently caressing it. “It was never about him.”

You chew your lip, looking away before meeting her gaze again. “I need you to promise me something.”

“Anything.”

Your fingers grip at her shirt. “I need you to promise me this isn’t something you’re going to regret in a week, or a month, or a year. You’re not going to wake up one day and realise Mendoza is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. It’ll ruin me.”

“Y/N, I promise you, you are the person I want to be with. You are the person I’ve always wanted to be with. I love you, and I know this isn’t going to be easy. I’ve damaged your trust in me-” You try to protest but Emily cuts you off, “No, I have. There’s a lot we need to discuss and a lot we need to repair but I’m one hundred per cent in if you are.”

“Mendoza’s going to be mad and the gossip is going to be horrible.”

“I know, but we can handle it.”

You stare at her, biting your lip. “I’m scared.”

She smiles slightly, “Me too.”

“You’re really willing to try?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes. I’m in.”

A wide grin spreads across her mouth. “Yes?”

“Yes.” You laugh.

She kisses you again, deep and hard. Your hands grasp at her sides but quickly snap away when she gasps.

“Shit. Sorry! I forgot.”

“It’s okay.” She assures.

You step away anyway. “You should get some sleep. It’s been an emotional day.”

“Stay.” She pleads, grabbing your hand and rubbing patterns into your palm with her thumb.

“That’s not a good idea.”

“Just sleep, I promise.”

“Emily, “ You sigh. “I want to, I do, but we both know we shouldn’t, not until you’ve had your conversation with Mendoza. He’ll likely turn up in the morning anyway, and this is going to be hard enough on him as it is without me being there.”

“I don’t want you to go.” She complains, pulling you back into your arms. She rests her forehead against yours and takes a deep breath. “Even if I know you’re right.”

“I’ll come back tomorrow.” You whisper, eyes closed as you run a hand through her hair.

“Okay.” She sighs but she doesn’t make a move to step away and neither do you. You both stand holding each other close for a while. The outside world was a distant thought when she was in your arms.

Eventually, you sigh and pull away. “I should get going.”

She leans in and pecks your cheek, squeezing your hand one last time before dropping it and stepping away. “I love you.”

A dopey smile spreads across your lips. “I love you too.”

She follows you out of the study, watching you with a tired smile as you collect your bag and coat.

“Tomorrow.” You promise, turning back to her as she leans against the open door.

“Tomorrow.” She agrees.

You place one last kiss on her cheek and step back, blowing out a breath you make your way down the steps from her house, waving a goodbye. She watches you all the way to your car, and it’s not until you’ve driven out of her sight that she closes the door.

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When you wake up the next morning, you erupt into happy laughter. Your heart felt warm and full for the first time in forever. She loved you. She loved you. She loved you. All the heartache was over. You didn’t have to live in a state of wanting but not having anymore, you didn’t have to watch your best friend, the love of your life, marry someone else.

You make yourself breakfast in a dream-like happiness. Dancing around the kitchen and singing loudly to your favourite music. Your eyes drift to your phone every so often, waiting eagerly for the message to tell you to come over. It’s still early though, barely 9 am, and you know you need to wait for her to talk to Mendoza.

The day drifts on, 9 becoming 12 becoming 4 and Emily never messages. You keep your phone on loud so there’s no chance of you missing it and try to ignore your growing unease over the possibility of her changing her mind.

“They’re having a difficult conversation of course it’s going to take time.” You tell yourself as you pace back and forth in your living room. It’s approaching 7 pm and you still haven’t heard anything. You’d spent the whole day deep cleaning your house and running errands to try and distract yourself but there was now nothing left to do but fall into your anxieties.

What if she realised he was the one she wanted? What if she accepts his proposal? She’d just been hurt, she probably was high on adrenaline and not thinking clearly. You should have waited to have the conversation. You’re an idiot. She’s going to change her mind. She’s probably trying to figure out a way to let you down easily. She never loved you like that in the first place. You were in the wrong. You shouldn’t have kissed her again. You being there confused her. She loves him.

The doorbell rings and you freeze. You slowly lower your thumb from your mouth as you stare at the door.

It was probably her.

You blow out a breath, preparing yourself for the worst as you make your way to the door. You open it and find Emily on the other side.

“Hi.” You say cautiously.

“It’s done.” She chokes, tears welling in her eyes. “I ended it.”

You grab her hand and pull her into your arms. She buries her head into your neck, muffling her sniffles as you hold her tightly.

“I’ve got you.” You promise, holding back your own tears.

You both stand like that until her sniffles have died down, she pulls away with an embarrassed smile, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Sorry.” She mumbles.

“Don’t be.” You urge. “Come on, let’s get inside.” You tangle your fingers with hers and drag her inside. You close the door, making sure not to let go of her. She flicks her shoes off and drops her bag to the floor and then you slowly walk her to your bedroom.

She frowns. “Y/N-”

“Ssh.” You order, dragging her with you. You let go of her hand to lie down in the bed and pat the space beside you. “Come.”

She rolls her eyes, smiling, and does as ordered. She snuggles close into your side, resting her head on your shoulder. You gently run your hands through her hair and you both release deep sighs, tensions leaving your body.

“I love you.” She says softly.

“I love you too.”

The two of you lie in silence for a while, wrapped in each other’s arms. No words are needed as you hold each other close. You’re beginning to drift off to sleep, completely at peace, when she finally talks.

“Does this make me a terrible person?” She asks, voice barely above a whisper. Her fingers fiddle with the collar of your shirt. “Being this happy after breaking his heart.”

“It doesn’t make you a terrible person.” You promise, placing a kiss against her forehead. “Was he angry?”

“No. Not really. Upset mostly. He asked me if there was someone else and I told him, yes, you and he didn’t look surprised. He just smiled sadly, as if he expected it. I think that makes it worse.”

“He knew even if you didn’t tell him.”

She blows out a breath, “Yeah.”

“You miss him.”

She stiffens slightly, before sighing and relaxing. “I lost a friend.”

“Give it time. He’s hurting now, but I’m sure he feels the same way. Eventually, you will be able to rebuild that.”

Emily looks up at you, smirking. “When did you get so wise?”

You huff, “I’ll have you know I’ve always been wise.”

She giggles, leaning up and kissing the pout off your lips. “You know you can be kind of adorable.” She grins as she pulls away.

“Yeah?” You smirk, arching an eyebrow.

She hums, and you kiss her again, this time deeper and more passionately.

Your phone beeps signalling a text and she grumbles as you pull away. You roll over and grab it from the nightstand and immediately groan when you see it’s a text from Garcia saying there’s a case.

Emily pouts, “A case?”

“Yeah,” You sigh, sending a quick response to Garcia that you’d be in soon before turning back to Emily with an apologetic smile. “LA.”

“Great.” She huffs and moves to sit up, trying and failing to hide the way she winces at the shift in pressure.

“I’m sorry. Hopefully, it won’t be a long one and I’ll see you when I get back.” You sigh, rising from the bed.

She frowns, “I’m coming in too.”

“What happened to little miss I've changed? You’re injured, you need to heal. If you were meant to be in, Pen would have messaged you too.”

“I’m fine.” She huffs, rolling her eyes. “And I'm the unit chief. I need to be there.”

“Baby, I promise you we can handle one case without you.” You say, thinking nothing of the pet name that falls from your lips as you make your way around the bed to her. “You know JJ’s good at handling the cops and press, and I’ll contact you if we need you.”

“What?” You frown when you realise Emily’s smirking at you.

“Baby?” She questions, brow arching as she pulls you in closer. “I like you calling me that.”

“Good because you’re gonna have to get used to it.” You giggle, lips hovering dangerously close to hers.

“Hmm, I think I can manage that.” She whispers before catching your lips with hers. You fall into the kiss with ease, the rest of the world melting away.

You eventually pull back. “I have to go to work, and you need to rest.”

“If I just don’t go out into the field-“

“Em, rest. Please. Take care of yourself and then when I come home I’ll take care of you.”

She arches a brow, her flirty smirk reappearing. “Promise?”

You roll your eyes and smile. “Promise.”

“We have a deal then.”

You give her one last peck before pulling away. Emily heads to the kitchen while you change into work-appropriate clothing. It’s already late, but Garcia had said to meet on the tarmac meaning the case was likely a bad one.

“Here you go,” Emily says, handing you a thermos full of coffee when you appear from the bedroom.

“And this is why I love you.” You grin, pecking her lips before taking the mug.

“Oh, I see.” She laughs, rolling her eyes.

You collect the rest of your stuff while Emily does the same before you lock up your apartment and head down to your cars.

“Rest up and I’ll see you soon.” You say, swinging her hand in yours.

“You’ll let me know if I’m needed.”

“Of course.”

She gives you one last slow kiss. “I love you.”

You grin and push her away because otherwise there’s no way you’re leaving. “Love you too, now go home and rest.”

“So bossy.” She mocks as she begins to walk in the direction of her car. You watch her for a moment before shaking your head and sliding into your own car.

You wave at her one last time, sending her an air kiss before you drive away.

You’re still grinning like a maniac when you arrive on the tarmac. Reid sees you approaching and his expression morphs into delight. He mumbles something to Alvez before stepping away and meeting you before you can join everyone.

“You’re glowing.”

You shrug, trying to calm your smile. “Am I?”

He watches you, smirking. “Something you want to tell me?”

“Nope, I don’t think so.” You laugh.

He hums, and the two of you begin walking across the tarmac to the jet. “I’m really happy for you.” He says quietly.

The others all begin to make their way in, apart from Alvez who hangs back to wait for Reid.

You look up at Reid and smile. “I’m happy for us.”

He turns to look at his boyfriend and his eyes turn soft. “Yeah,” He sighs. “I’m happy for us too.”

taglist: @prentisspoppet @sapphic-stress @xrainydazeteax @enduringalexblake @prentissology @alexbllake @dalexandriag16 @sweetprentiss

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds #fanfiction #writing #angst #kt writes #cw swearing #cw alcohol #cw cheating #break the mould #spencer reid

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jadedxrealityw · 3 years

Text

-Amortentia- Blaise Zabini x Female Reader

☼-☪-☼

Kody: BLAISEEEEEEE DADDY- im sorry. yeah yeah i’m changing the canonical storyline- cry about it. I’m also fully aware Amortentia does not work like this lmao.

Request: you can make the summary short and less revealing for more fun hehe. Also it's totally up to you, dear! Only if you feel comfortable with it and no pressure! I hope you had a great weekend and drink more water ily <3 - 💐

House: Hufflepuff

Possible Triggers / Warnings: Slight slut shaming in the beginning, Draco being a little shit,

☼-☪-☼

you had been alone most of your life with your parents being on constant business trips from the ministry that would last for months on end. You were practically raised by your nanny, but she couldn’t teach you everything. You became socially awkward.

you never had any friends back at home which meant you had no experience communicating with people your age. You were walking awkwardness basically. It came at no surprise when you were sorted into Hufflepuff, even though both your parents were Slytherins- they weren’t disappointed in you though.

you had just managed to scramble by through your first four years of school. Four long years without any friends, but you didn’t mind. You could get by just by yourself. You were a strong independent woman and knew how to get yourself out of sticky situations.

unless it was stuck up Hufflepuff’s- then you were screwed

one fine day in your fourth year you were heading to the quidditch field so you could go watch the game. Slytherin against Hufflepuff. They were both tied at two wins against each other so you were eager to see who would win. You wore a brown buttoned sweater with a nice pear of tan overalls.

the fallen leaves under your foot made a satisfying crack noise as you walked along the field. The cheers and other various sounds of students were definitely drawing nearer. You popped another flavour bean into your mouth when a harsh push came to your shoulder, causing the box of flavour beans to fall.

you watched as they spilled out onto the grass with a look of solemn in your eyes “Dang- that was my last box” you mumble before a couple of snickers were heard in front of you. You look up to see three students wearing their regular Hufflepuff robes with there own casual clothes underneath.

“Drop something?” one asked. A girl with light brown bobbed hair and green eyes spoke. You nod once “Uh yeah, just my flavour beans. I- uh i can just buy new ones” you spoke, already starting to clam up “Your a hufflepuff aren’t you? Why aren’t you wearing yellow?” the girl asked somewhat accusingly.

alert alert. Confrontation detected. Activate escape protocol 17B

you didn’t answer and went to walk past them when another one of the three, a blond boy with blue eyes pushed you back to where you were standing. Shit. You fold your arms over your chest, looking at the ground “Your one of those Slytherin groupies are you, a house traitor?” the brown haired girl accused.

you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. This made the two Hufflepuffs more annoyed “What? Cant speak? Let me guess, your like those Draco fangirls. Sweetie. Your def not pretty enough for him” she adds, making the boy aside her laugh.

did she just say def? Have you ever even talked to Draco Malfoy? Not the time to be thinking about that. “I uh-” before you could speak anymore the girl held up her hand “Don’t even try to defend yourself, Slut” you went wide eyed. No one has ever been so nasty to you.

“I’ve never seen two Hufflepuffs go at one of their own, before” a girls laugh came from behind you. She had black shoulder length hair and bangs with brown eyes. Pansy Parkinson. In front of her was two boys dressed in Slytherin Quidditch uniforms.

You quickly identify the platinum blond boy with pale skin as Draco Malfoy. The hair was always a dead give away and the other boy was slightly taller then him with dark skin. He was very handsome for a boy your age. What was his name again? Oh! Blaise- Blaise Zabini.

“For Hufflepuff’s you two are quite nasty” Draco spoke, a grin playing on his lips. The boy Hufflepuff rolled his eyes “Yeah whatever Malfoy, what’re you going to do. Tell your father?” that struck a nerve in the young Malfoy as he went to lunge at them until Blaise put a arm out, blocking Draco.

“Now, Now. Let’s not get physical. You see, me and my fellow housemates overheard your very deplorable conversation with this what seems like sweet girl. Honestly, how can you bully someone who can’t even get a word in?” Blaise spoke in such a proper way that you almost couldn’t tell he was insulting them.

the girl and boy were silent as he spoke for a while until the girl spoke up once more “Oh so she’s one of your play things, Zabini?” she questions with a smug look. Blaise’s neutral expression switched into a disgusted one “I don’t have play things. I actually have respect for other woman”

Blaise didn’t let them get another word in before he stepped in front of you “Are you alright? They didn’t hurt you did they?” he asked, using his hand to lift your chin and inspect your face. Touching- “No” you say in a meek voice. He nods once with a small smile “Good, now let’s go”

you tilt your head sto side. Go? “Um- go where?” you ask. Blaise gestures towards the quidditch field “The game of course. Me and Malfoy here have to get ready and you and Pansy will meet Theo in the Slytherin bleachers to watch the game of course.” as he spoke, Pansy skipped to your side, linking arms.

“Yeah! We can watch them make fools of themselves. Now lets go new friend!” Pansy said excitedly before practically dragged you towards the bleachers, leaving Draco and Blaise alone. The young Malfoy turned towards Blaise with a puzzled look “Since when did you involve yourself with Hufflepuffs?”

Blaise rolled his eyes before walking off, not answering his housemate

☼-☪-☼

7th year

after that day you became part of Blaise’s friend group. He’d talk to you as much as he talked to Theo, Pans, or Draco. Ask you how your day was, invite you to sit with him at lunch and even sneak you into the Slytherin house at times.

some people found it strange. A slytherin spending so much time with a Hufflepuff, but as stated Blaise didn’t care much of opinions hat didn’t come from his friends, but all his friends adored you. Case closed. It was around the end of sixth year is when your feelings changed from platonic to romantic.

you no longer saw him as your best friend that saved you from a bunch of nasty Hufflepuff’s all those years ago. You now saw him as someone you wanted to be with, all the time. To hold his hand, have him hold you, for him to just call you his. You fell hard.

but there was this fear, this fear that it would ruin everything you had with him. It was too great a risk, so like any normal person. You kept quiet as mouse and refused to let anyone know your feelings. Except for Pansy of course, but she found out on her own. Then told Draco, who told Theo.

everyone knew except Blaise actually

it was lunch and the Slytherins were waiting for you to arrive, Draco cleared his throat, getting the attention of the rest of them “I have a terribly good idea” he says, making Blaise look at him curiously “And that is?” he asked, leaning in to here what his housemate had to say.

Draco reaches into robe and pulls out a pink heart shaped bottle. “What in the hell? Why do you have a love potion?” Pansy asked with a amused chuckle. “Well- Y/n confessed to me that she had a crush on someone, but was too afraid to tell them. So i’m going to slip this into her drink to move her along”

Pansy and Theo both look at each other knowingly. They know full well that little ferret was lying. Y/n told Pansy first. What was he playing at? “That is so wrong on so many levels, Malfoy” Blaise spoke up first, looking at him in distaste.

“Hey! She told me that she wished she was more confident so she could tell this person there feelings. I’m being a good friend!” Draco retorted, another lie. Blaise face drops a little “Who even is this person she’s confessing to. It better not be some low life Gryffindor” Blaise grumbles.

Pansy’s eyebrow wiggles “Is that jealousy i here, Zabini?” she teases. Blaise rolls his eyes before looking back at his plate “Y/n can like whoever she want’s” he grumbles. “Really? ‘Cause your stabbing your steak” Pansy asked, leaning over across the table.

Blaise was indeed repeating jabbing at his food with his fork “I will use the slug-vomiting charm on you” he spoke, gritting his teeth. Pansy just smiled innocently “Cursing Pan’s i see” a voice came from behind him. Blaise turned his head around to see you, holding a textbook “Sorry i was late, got caught up”

you take a seat next to Blaise, seeing a full plate and water put out for you “Thanks for saving me some food?” you say with a small smile. “I did actually, because i’m your favorite” Draco gives you a sweet smile, one that you laugh nervously at “Uh- sure?” you reply.

☼-☪-☼

once finished your food, you reached for the cup of water and took a sip. As you go and place it down you notice that they were all staring at you? “What?” you ask and Theo gives you a smile “Feel any different?” he asked. You purse your lips together and slowly shake your head “No, i feel alright”

Draco huffs and places his head in his hand. You look over at Blaise who had went back to eating his food. You notice something on the corner of his mouth and grab the napkin on your table. Reaching up you wipe away the food on the corner of his mouth.

Blaise flinches and grabs your hand “What’re you doing?” he asked, gazing down at you. You snicker a bit at his reaction and gently tug your arm out of his grip “You had something on your mouth, didn’t want it to mess up your handsome face” you reply.

Pansy chokes on her water, which turns into a coughing fit. Blaise stared at you blankly, just blinking mindlessly while Draco punched the air.

☼-☪-☼

now, mind you. A typical love potion last up to 24 hours, but Draco being the idiot he was accidently poured half the bottle into your drink. So it was safe to say it was going to last more than a day. “Your a bloody fool, Malfoy!” Blaise exclaims.

“I didn’t mean to pour half of it! Someone bumped into me!” Draco retorts while both Theo and Pansy eat a box of flavour beans they were sharing, just casually watching the chaos unfold. “That my be true, but you still served it to her! You took advantage of her vulnerability!” Blaise shouts back.

Draco’s face fell, yeah could be a little prick sometimes, but he also cared about you deeply. He couldn’t tell Blaise he was your crush, but he could try to make it right. “I’ll make the antidote, but it will be a couple days” Blaise nods “Sorry for shouting” he says. Draco nods once before leaving the hallway.

“Hey guys” jeez- you just snuck up on people. Blaise steps towards you “Shouldn’t you be heading to charms class?” he asked, crossing his arms “What? Do you have her schedule memorized?” Pansy questions with a small laugh.

Blaise exhales deeply “I have a copy of it actually. Anyway-” he says and turns his attention back to you. “What do you need?” he asks, his tone changing to a more calm one. “Can you walk me to class?” you ask. Blaise raises a brow “Why?” he asked, not that he would have a problem.

“I want to spend more time with you” you spoke very nonchalantly. You almost wondered how you even spoke those words yourself. Blaise looks stunned for a moment, before a smile made a way to his face. This was just the potion talking, you were spewing nonsense he thought “As do i? Let’s get going shall we”

you smile brightly and grab his a=hand, interlocking your fingers. Blaise gives you a small nod before covering his mouth with his hands. Both Pansy and Theo watch them walk away “5 galleons Blaise confesses to Y/n by the end of this whole ordeal” Pansy points, chewing on a flavour bean.

Theo watched along her and nods “Your on, 10 galleons they both end up being friends again”

☼-☪-☼

it has been TWO days and Draco still hasn’t made the antidote. He claimed it was because he had to gather all the supplies without Snape around, which was probably true. Blaise had started to kind of- sort of- maybe- like the attention you were giving him.

oh yeah- surprise! Blaise had had a crush on you even longer then you did, he just knew how to keep his composure around you. It was easy for him, but it didn’t make him any less terrified of what would happen if those feelings were revealed.

currently, you were both sitting in the courtyard, studying on a bench, your choice. “I think that’s enough for the day. I’m surprised you asked me for my help. You usually never ask me for any academic advice” Blaise spoke, knowing full well why she asked him. The love potion.

you look up at him, closing the textbook in your hands “Well, you and Draco are the smartest people i know, but i prefer your company more” you smile lightly as you begin to cram the textbook into your bag. Blaise feels his heartbeat pick up once again.

It’s just the love potion. It’s just the love potion. It’s just the love potion. Think rationally Zabini! “I’m glad to hear that” he nods once. You both stand up from the bench and the curiosity gets the better of him. “So, what people have you’ve been talking too the past couple days?”

he wanted to know if you had actually been talking to your crush. So he could murder them talk to them man to man/woman. You shrug your shoulders “Just you guys, who else would i be talking to?” you spoke “Oh! i have an exam to take in potions! i’ll see you at dinner!”

you spoke with haste before leaning up to kiss his cheek “Bye Blaise!” and with that you ran off towards the entrance. Blaise held up his hand for a moment before exhaling “She’s- been only- talking to us? Who the hell is her crush then?” he thought aloud before picking up his things and walking away.

both Pansy and Theo pop up from behind the bushes “For a genius student, he sure is a idiot” Pansy spoke, eating the last bit of her cauldron cake. Theo nods “I thought Draco would be done with the antidote already?” he says. Pansy grinned evilly.

“Yeah...he should, but i keep hiding the ingredients. Blaise needs more time to realize she’s into him” she spoke, wiping her mouth off. Theo gasps and wacks her shoulder “That’s cheating! and you ate my last cauldron cake!” he sighs, crossing his arms.

“Yeah? Cry about it Nott”

☼-☪-☼

“It’s done!” a loud shout came from the dorm hallways of the Slytherin house towards the common room. Draco came running towards them, panting like a dog. “What’s done?” Pansy asked, sitting next to Theo eating a bowl of popcorn. No- they don’t know where she got it either.

“The antidote for Y/n’s love potion. It took so long because i kept misplacing everything. All we need to do is sneak it into her drink at dinner tonight” he explains. Blaise shot up from the loveseat he was sat on reading a book and snatched the vile from Draco. “Hey! What the hell?!”

“I’m not lying to Y/n anymore then i have to. I’ll catch up with you guys later” Blaise said before walking out the portrait door. “Alright that’s our cue!” Pansy and Theo stood up “What’re you guys doing?” Draco asked with a confused expression on his face.

“Spying on Blaise and Y/n to make sure they confess to each other” Theo explains, walking away with Pansy. Draco blinked a couple times before shaking his head “Guys that is such an invasion of there privacy and trust, they are our friends and we should be respectful......i’m coming with you”

bestie things i guess

☼-☪-☼

Blaise had just made it out the dungeons when he bumped into someone “Watch where your- oh Y/n. Why are you down here?” he asked. You chuckle and push away from him “I was going to see if Pansy wanted to have another sleepover, why are you out here? Dinner hasn’t started yet”

Blaise thinks of his next words before holding up the vile “I need you to drink this Y/n”

“What why?”

“Just do it”

“But-”

“If you trust me you will. I would never harm you”

“...Okay”

you grab the vile from his hand and pop the cork off. You look at the vile then Blaise who nods once. Exhaling, you pour the strange liquid down your throat, twinging at the unfamiliar taste. You feel almost a swirl around your chest before you look at Blaise again “What was that?”

Blaise places his hands on your shoulders, your face heating up slightly. Once again you were back being unnerved by this guy, but you didn’t notice “How do you feel about me Y/n?” he asked, making your E/c eyes widen a bit. “I’m sorry- come again?”

he sighs deeply and looks you in the eye. Ooo eye contact, scary. “the same i did yesterday?” you say vaguely. because who the hell asks that kind of question. Blaise lets go of your shoulders and rubs his face with his his hands. He was frustrated. “Y/n, how do you feel about me?”

you shrink at his gaze. The first thought that ran through your mind was that Pansy had snitched to him that you were in love with him “I’m so sorry- i didn’t want to tell you because i thought you would think i was weird!” you spurt out, confusing Blaise just a tad more.

“What are you talking about!?”

“Pansy told you about my crush on you didn’t she!?”

“Your what!?”

oh if the world could swallow you whole now “Oh merlin- i thought that’s what she told you!” you shout before trying to activate escape protocol 17B again and walk away. Blaise almost thought about letting you leave but you liked him! he was terrified you didn’t! but you do! So, why would he let you leave!?

he reaches back and grabs your arm, stopping you from walking any further “I get it. You don’t want to be friends anymore” you spoke sadly. Blaise stepped towards you, but you looked down at your feet instead of him “Your right, i don’t want to be friends anymore Y/n”

you felt your heart shatter. That was until one of his long arms wrapped around your waist and other pointed your chin up to look at him “I want you to be mine and i, yours” he spoke, a slight grin on his lips. Say what now? did Blaise Zabini just confess to you?

“Oh...”

“Is that all you have to say to that? I just spilled my heart out to you”

“What- what should i say?”

“Yes?...No?”

“Oh! yes- yes. Definitely yes! ”

“That’s a relief. I thought i had just made a full of myself”

“You are no fool Blaise Zabini”

Blaise gave you a small smile before leaning down. Oh shit. He stops midway, lips centimeters from yours “It is okay if i kiss you, correct?” he asks. We love a consent king. You nod slowly, making his smile grow wide before he presses his lips to yours.

“5 galleons you little shit, hand it over!” you both pull apart as three idiots come falling out a nearby broom closet. Pansy spilled her popcorn all over the hallway floor in the process. “Screw you Pansy, you cheated you pig!” Theo snaps back, Pansy hitting the back of his head “I am no pig!”

Draco was just lying face first on the floor, hoping no one would notice his presence. “Oh right pug-face!” Theo smirks. Pansy gasps before pulling out her wand “You are dead you queer!” she shouts. Theo pulled out his wand as well “You have a girlfriend, homo!” he shouts.

Pansy sputters for a moment “That’s besides the point!” they both circle each other as Draco picks himself off the floor “I shouldn’t have come” he mumbles, dusting off his robes. Both you and Blaise look at each other before bursting into laughter.

☼-☪-☼

Taglist: @the--queen-of-hell @sonbelleame @dracosathenaeum @pxroxide-prinxcesss

☼-☪-☼

Kody- I have no words for this other then- what the fuck did i just write? Anyways, peace!

269 notes · View notes

ugh-againwiththenames · 3 years

Text

So Many Fanfics So Little Time

This is just my list, I have seen so many (but if you want to use it it’s all yours too!). I’m not a writer. But I am a hell of a reader. Voracious one might argue. I just wanted to track my progress through the weeds of the absolutely never ending supply of Destiel and Cockles fanfic.

Read on if you want to see what I’ve read, and what I’ve thought. I am but one person with opinions - some of them may be unpopular - some of them you might agree with, but if you find something you haven’t read here, I encourage you to do so.

Honestly, this is just so I can track what I have read already, and when my friends ask, I can reference something easily. I have found some different fics on all kinds of ‘best of’ lists all over the interwebs. And I love recs - so rec away friends.

As someone who reads a solid 40 novels a year typically, I don’t come by the “I read a lot” innocently. I do actually read a LOT. When not reading fanfic (a new obsession, all things being fair), I usually read a lot of Fantasy/high fantasy, romance/erotica, and or YA (yeah, that was a bit of a ride no?). So from this one might digress that I like fluffy, cute stories, complicated and supernatural/paranormal type stories, and I sure do not shy away from violence or smut (or maybe violence with smut? *smirk*).

I have read all of these in the last 2-3 months (I will continue to add as I go). I had never read a fanfic until 2-3 months ago. A lot of these wonderful people are on here, and I mean you no offence by not directly tagging you - I’m still learning how to actually properly use this site. Links to AO3 are included (and I love you all).

These aren’t necessarily in any real order - I did read T&S first, followed by 91W, and 4LW...after that it’s just a shit show of Long or Short, Destiel or Cockles - smorgasbord. Some of these are the most popular Fics out there, and others I’ve never seen recc’d anywhere (just sort of accidentally happened upon them). So let’s get to it, shall we?

Twist and Shout - ok look. I understand the stigma associated with this one, but it was the FIRST one I read. It was the ball that shot me down the hill, and I haven’t stopped since. So. I loved it. I CRIED like a baby. SOBBED. It was not the quality of the writing but the way the story was developed and delivered. I have Never Cried Like This Reading a Story IN MY LIFE. It’s a rite of passage. Read It and have an opinion - it doesn’t need to be mine.

Author(s): gabriel, standbyme https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876/chapters/955188

Ninety-One Whiskey - aka 91W, it is mentioned so much, and is SO worth the read. I continued my dive into the war fics (not typically my bag really and here I was reading 2 in a row). There are a couple of followup stories as well to this series (and yes, I’ve read them all). Although I’ll say that the original is my favourite. I often got lost in a bit of the War/Tactical descriptions, but would recommend it to anyone anyway. Ugh...the “stolen moments”...they were at the same time tragic and the most amazing things ever. You feel me? no? go read it.

Author: komodobits https://archiveofourown.org/works/2362190/chapters/5214500

Four Letter Word for Intercourse - aka 4LW. OMG just, OMG. I loved this story. I loved it so much. I think I read it in a day. Devoured it. It’s so HOT. Just read it. If you haven’t you’re missing out. LEMME AT IT. I loved “knowing the secret”, and had some major anxiety about that realization dawning (I had to take a breath, and be like, no, no, this is gonna be a mess, but it’s gonna be SO GOOD - I was not disappointed). There’s more than one work here too - read them all. PLEASE.

Author: bendingsignpost https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086839/chapters/37568591

Memories Bring Back Memories (Bring Back You) - This was the first Sobs one I read, but it sent me on a spree. this is the Memory Loss one. I have one piece of advice here - read everything by Sobsicles. You can thank me later...just go to her page, and fucking sort to supernatural (or not, read it all!) I’d list them but I’d fucking seriously be here all day. Also, her tags make me laugh so hard.

Author: sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Orpheus - I love this one too, Tattooed!Cas, my LOVE. paired with Mechanic!Dean, my HEART, #help. Read this one in one evening as well. (I was on a roll). It’s a one night stand that turns into more (much like my last relationship)....hmm...maybe this is why I was pulled in - although to be fair that is the last similarity to my shitty love life! I do not remember how I stumbled onto this one (tattooed Cas may have been the draw...tbh). Read the warnings though, there is some triggering stuff in this one - but if you can handle it, it’s definitely worth the read.

Author: sysrae https://archiveofourown.org/works/2364347/chapters/5220227

Have Love, Will Travel - Can you say no to Stripper!Dean? Cause I sure as hell cannot. Typical sort of character development here with Dean having trust issues, and Cas being painfully awkward...(but in like a super cute way?). Would Recommend.

Author: squeemonster https://archiveofourown.org/works/565455/chapters/1011747

The Inexhaustible Silence of Houses - Change of pace here...It’s got a nice twist. I didn’t actually clue into how it was going to end until very near the end (maybe I was being oblivious), when the realization came over me and I was...man. I was DONE IN. I hope that doesn’t spoil (I need some kind of way of remembering them). Voiceless!Cas Hunter!Dean

Author: Askance (doomcountry) https://archiveofourown.org/works/560268/chapters/1000755

Adagio - This is super short, and super cute. Honestly, I would read the whole thing just for the last line. It’ll take you less than an hour if I remember correctly. Go, I’ll wait. I squeeed. did you?

Author: noangelsinthegarrison https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397248/chapters/2928145

Any Little Heartache - super easy read (not in a bad way, but in a ‘you’ll fly through it’ way). It’s mid-length, not graphic, but really fun hospital AU. HeartSurgeon!Dean / Nurse!Cas - enemies to lovers anyone? Fuck you to Fuck me? yeah. YUM.

Author: followthattardis https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143376/chapters/11838311

Ad Astra - This is another short(ish) one, just one chapter. And by that I mean that this is written like a very long poem. Cas as a star who has visited Dean many times over the years of his life, that culminates in 4x01 barn scene. It’s ‘awe’ sad. ‘puppy dog eyes’ sad. The writing format took me a bit to understand what was happening - it’s my lack of poetry knowledge, not the writing.

Author: nhixxie https://archiveofourown.org/works/1013491

Ad Astra Per Aspera - This is a cute story. ESL writer, no judgement. I found this while looking for the one above, and thought the premise looked cute - and it was. Misunderstanding leading to Dean realizing he’s actually Bi. Miscommunication leading to realization.

Author: Riverchester https://archiveofourown.org/works/12354336/chapters/28101816

Psalm 40:2 - Time travel post-canon Cas and Pre-series Dean. If you’re wondering how that works, strap in for this ride, it’s well worth it.

Author: unicornpoe https://archiveofourown.org/works/30786425/chapters/75992444

Addicted to You - Warlock!Dean/Incubus!Cas - accidental ‘mating’ (I actually really don’t like that word, but there’s sort of no avoiding it in this situation). Cute story. When you drunk dial a succubus and get an incubus instead...Whatever will we do?

Author: Ltleflrt https://archiveofourown.org/works/4387346/chapters/9959288

A Glimpse Beyond - End Fix-it. Not yet complete, 10 chapters so far...I want MORE! Reliving memories Dean/Cas & Sam/Eileen.

Author: NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731689/chapters/67875925

Cas-ti-el - Please I want more...It’s like the story just started. Please write more of this story!! 1 chapter, it’s a trope prompt challenge, but I want it to be a full on story of its own. Imprinted names of their soul mates, Dean doesn’t understand his (because it’s in a different language)...I’m frustrated by wanting this story to keep going.

Author: Valinde (Valyria) https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941591

Our Bodies, Posessed by Light - another short one. Not going to lie, this one took a little getting used to, and I can’t say that I enjoyed it too much for the sole purpose that the premise gave me the willies. Cas has to vessel jump - ends up in Sam...I got through it, it had a good ending, but yeah, sorry. This just wasn’t for me.

Author: obstinatrix https://archiveofourown.org/works/260289

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Wedding Cake - Waiter!Dean / Writer!Cas - This is so effing cute, just misunderstanding after misunderstanding bumbling around like the couple of dorks that they are. It’s only one chapter. 100% would recommend.

Author: Sparseparsley https://archiveofourown.org/works/223962

Destiel, Actually - This is another super cute story, 5 chapters. Gabriel playing a singular role in putting Dean and Cas in awkward positions to push them together. I fucking DIED at “oh, I am the sub” - needs context, but I guarantee you that you’ll laugh out loud...

Author: Bexism https://archiveofourown.org/works/399934/chapters/658398

The Smell Before the Rain - This was my first A/B/O - a big apology to all those who are into mpreg and whatnot, this was my lesson that I am not. this was not for me. Also - I’m a firm Cas (Alpha/Dom) believer, and i’m good with switch Cas, but it’s hard for me to take him being the full Omega here, when paired with the rest I just couldn’t do it. I finished it, but, not my thing. I know now.

Author: jscribbles https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355230/chapters/53406127

Crazy Diamonds - This is another short one, only 3 chapters - it’s a body swap for Dean, 4x02 him and 2018 him swap places (assumption that 2018 him is “with” Cas). It’s a super cute little story.

Author: pantheon_of_discord https://archiveofourown.org/works/16151642/chapters/37738631

The Breath of All Things - Wheelchair!Dean / Volunteer!Cas. This is a lovely story, typical Dean self-hatred etc. Triggering for those with suicide warnings. It had me in tears at the end. There’s a really spectacular quote near the end that I found so romantic I screen grabbed it.

Author: KismetJeska https://archiveofourown.org/works/994750/chapters/1967519

Kind of a Forever Deal - SummerCamp!AU This is just a really cute and fluffy summer camp AU. Which is so different from 91W (That’s right, check the author)! I was a little disappointed with the ending, but otherwise really enjoyed this all the way through and was loving all the discovery and young characterizations of all the characters.

Author: komodobits https://archiveofourown.org/works/999291/chapters/1978478

Everytown, USA - Best way I can break this one down? Wanderer!Dean (listless and without a place in the world, he ends up in a small town...), Twin!Cas (that leads to some fun things). There are a number of points where you’re gonna yell at Dean for doing stupid shit (that are very much in character for him to do), you think, well, yes, obviously you’re going to do that you silly fucking boy [affectionate]; but whyyy? (but we know).

Author: aileenrose https://archiveofourown.org/works/1797559/chapters/3854836

Chalk and Chainmail - HighSchool!AU, Cas is an artist, Dean LARP’s - it’s cute and angsty.

Author: lemonsorbae https://archiveofourown.org/works/804704/chapters/1517551

A Little Patience - Ok. you want smut? This is your story. You want Kink? This is your story. I actually did not finish this. It got a little carried away in my opinion. It was VERY panty kink oriented (which, while essentially canon isn’t really my kink) so, if you want that Panty Kink on full display? Go forth and enjoy! it is thirty something chapters, I got to the mid-twenties I Think.

Author: riseofthefallenone https://archiveofourown.org/works/1750058/chapters/3739232

Control - I REALLY ENJOYED THIS. Which is saying a lot for someone who has already admitted that a Subby Cas isn’t really my HC - so to so thoroughly enjoy a Sub!Cas story? (maybe it’s the tattooes...*wink*). It’s an AU where Cas is the head of a company - Dean is a callboy I guess, for lack of a better term. Just read it.

Author: dothraki_shieldmaiden https://archiveofourown.org/works/31156601/chapters/76993217

More (I copy pasted the next lot from my google doc, I’ll flush them out later - no i wont...)

Teach Me (short) - movie night in the bunker, things get a little carried away Author: Chiyume https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961327

You Light the Spark (in my bonfire heart) (short) - when cas doesn't realize that dean is unaware of his feelings, super short, super cute Author: noangelsinthegarrison https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193910

Communication Breakdown (short/cockles) - dean ends up in Jensen's head while he films the confession scene, no sexual content Author: jujubiest https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Look What You Made Me Do (short/cockles) - - Vegas Con 2020 / jensen comes out with a song - cute short - no sexual content Author: green_blue_heller https://archiveofourown.org/works/30251592 Full House (short/cockles) - reimagined version of the rented house story - putting it in order (so to speak). funny / cute / fluffy not explicit Author: n_nami https://archiveofourown.org/works/30855827

Cyber Sex (short/cockles) - anastiel https://archiveofourown.org/works/31467086 - shameless post GISH Fest zoom call porn - Short (very short)

It's Complicated (cockles) - gail_morgan https://archiveofourown.org/works/31434938/chapters/77747519 The GISHtake (short/cockles) - MellyCrazyCoconut https://archiveofourown.org/works/31508099 - cute short post GISH zoom - oops "babe, really?"

(10.02.2021 updated) Since last update: New reads - Fuck i’m gonna be here all day - there’s not gonna be as much gonna be NO detail in these breakdowns...sorry! This has now just become a “what i’ve read list” as opposed to a Rec list...

Love, All Alike (Pt. 1 Love, All Alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves https://archiveofourown.org/works/4555599/chapters/10370646 - Though The Stars Walk Backward (pt 2 Love, All alike) - Phantoms_and_Foxgloves

And this, your living kiss - opal_bullets https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083927/chapters/42744872

Come On, Let's Strike a Match (Domination and Submission: a love story pt 1) - anyrei & queerwerewolf *** https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722478/chapters/62458810 - Playing With Fire (D&S: a love story pt 2) - We Kiss and the Flames Get Higher (D&S: a love story pt 3) - Sparking That Old Flame (D&S: a love story pt 4)

Cinderwings - bendingsignpost Cinderella!AU** https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847041/chapters/29336421

Linden - fleeceframe Swan!AU** https://archiveofourown.org/works/33126730/chapters/82236118

No Netflix, No Chill (short) - dorian_they https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764966

Can't Drink You Away (short) - dorian_they https://archiveofourown.org/works/28785792

Jensen Totally (Does Not!) Snore (short RPF) - Dorian_they https://archiveofourown.org/works/30315717

Dean Ships It (short) - dorian_they https://archiveofourown.org/works/30349434

All about control - wingless https://archiveofourown.org/works/9151930/chapters/20791243

Aesthetics in Autoerotica (pt 1 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885544 - The Ties that Bind (pt 2 Aesthetics in Autoerotica) - relucant

Let's take a drive - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/32581027/chapters/80819581

Enchanted ink - castielslostwings TattooArtist!Dean TattooArtist!Castiel AU *** https://archiveofourown.org/works/23043622/chapters/55109530

The bones beneath our skin - darknessbound https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633754/chapters/59515804

The Plot (RPF) - Castiel_Left_His_Mark_On_Me https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795588/chapters/6274970

The Gentle Force with which you Take Me (RPF) - Phoenix_Ascended https://archiveofourown.org/works/32110120/chapters/79549183

According to all known laws of Life (Pt. 1 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207901 - and he's back (with a mind of his own) (pt. 2 Cursed Metaphors) - sobsicles

Six hundred sundays (and many more) - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/31158776

Aching in the Absence of you - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/31832977/chapters/78811378

gorging myself on you, still can’t get full (insatiable) (Short) - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/32203291

memories bring back memories (bring back you) - sobsicles https://archiveofourown.org/works/24022945/chapters/57796885

Dream Come True (short) - bendingsignpost https://archiveofourown.org/works/28071159

tall grass - aeli_kindara https://archiveofourown.org/works/13127040/chapters/30030726

asunder (Short) - rageprufrock https://archiveofourown.org/works/62115

Apheresis - bendingsignpost BloodDonor!AU ** https://archiveofourown.org/works/32674783/chapters/81056680

we always were but never knew it - frightfullyrude https://archiveofourown.org/works/32698324/chapters/81119503

In this Louisiana Bar (Short) - fleeceframe https://archiveofourown.org/works/31764487

The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alternate Universes - n_nami https://archiveofourown.org/works/32687929/chapters/81092785

my heart a compass - lagaudiere https://archiveofourown.org/works/28629951

Unsound Inverses - sp8ce (not complete) https://archiveofourown.org/works/29836881/chapters/73413300

The Jensen Mistake (RPFish) - fellshish https://archiveofourown.org/works/31950169

tell me about the dream (Pt. 1 Kids are coming home) - playedwright https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984813/chapters/68544450

It's handy to know (FIMMF Themed ;)) - RosaMarloes https://archiveofourown.org/works/31761322

So Says The Sword - komodobits AngelTrueform!AU** https://archiveofourown.org/works/12597892/chapters/28695592

Communication Breakdown (RPFish)- darkshrimpemotions (jujubiest) https://archiveofourown.org/works/29669601/chapters/72951339

Carry You Home - Casloveshisfreckles https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982637/chapters/65862916

In the Shadow of your Wings - Enochian Things (Salr323) https://archiveofourown.org/works/7531294/chapters/17121655

When Harry Met Sally (RPF) (Pt. 1 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622347/chapters/17351845 - Eight Dildos (RPF) (Pt. 2 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood - Attention, Please (RPF) (Pt. 3 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood - Boat Trip (RPF) (Pt. 4 When Harry Met Sally ‘verse) - mnwood

A Winter's Tale - NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/2654327/chapters/5930561

A Close Shave - NorthernSparrow https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090167

r/supernatural - renrub (short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/27626783

sam reads destiel fics - rebshome (short - funny!) https://archiveofourown.org/works/33721624

Angel Cookies - noxsoulmate Chirstmas!AU ** https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729640/chapters/26427765

Under The Midnight Sun - NorthernSparrow Arctic!AU ** https://archiveofourown.org/works/16690645/chapters/39143677

Bron-Yr-Aur - mrbluesky (Short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/28225335

The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet - saltyfeathers https://archiveofourown.org/works/19258594/chapters/45800209

The Meaning On My Skin - saltnhalo https://archiveofourown.org/works/18005378/chapters/42538133

Red Right Hand (Pt. 1 Murder Ballads) - Duckyboos https://archiveofourown.org/works/4306110/chapters/9760008 - Are you the One that I've been waiting for? (pt. 2 Murder Ballads) - Duckyboos

Riptides - sharkfish https://archiveofourown.org/works/13230426/chapters/30263556

Damn Fine Ride - Cimorene105 (pt 1 - rodeo) Cowboy!AU** (I’m a horse girl, sue me...) https://archiveofourown.org/works/14342340 - My Face Just Does This, Sometimes - Cimorene105 (pt. 2 rodeo) - The Kinkiest Thing I've Ever Done- Cimorene105 (pt 3 rodeo) - All Signs Point to Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 4 rodeo) - Monster Love - Cimorene105 (pt. 5 rodeo) - My Man, The Siren - Cimorene105 (pt. 6 rodeo) - A Pain in My Ass - Cimorene105 (pt. 7 rodeo)

Astrolabe (terra incognita pt 1) - reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348812/chapters/7326794 - Drollery (terra incognita pt 2) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent - Rubrication (terra incognita pt 3) - reluctantabandon Winter_of_our_Discontent

Go Down With This Ship - PorcupineGirl https://archiveofourown.org/works/8023642/chapters/18370474

Fire and Ice - Castielslostwings (Firefighter/Paramedic AU!) ** https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286295/chapters/55768486

The Structural Similarities of Hunters and Onions - Faster_Than_the_Speed_of_Sound (Short) https://archiveofourown.org/works/33383101

Castiel Novak's Office, This is Dean - emmbrancsxx0 https://archiveofourown.org/works/22411336/chapters/53545840

Out of the Deep (out of the deep pt. 1) - riseofthefallenone - MERMAID AU! ** https://archiveofourown.org/works/548878/chapters/977676

Dean (and Cas') Top 13 Zepp Traxx - pantheon_of_discord https://archiveofourown.org/works/10909440/chapters/24256989

I'll Be Good - LittleAngelCassie https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118334/chapters/9282234

Kenosis - CastielsCarma (Short - part of Destiel ABC collection) https://archiveofourown.org/works/30411720

#fics #fic recs #fanfiction #ao3 #cockles #destiel #dean and cas #jensen and misha #one track mind #supernatural #please send me recs #read more fics #this is my new obsession

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rafecameron · 4 years

Text

sunkissed

summary: Sarah’s pen pal of several years finally comes to visit - she can’t help but fall for her friends older brother

pairing: rafe cameron x reader

word count: 8K

a/n: I don’t really go here anymore but i wrote this a couple months ago and a few people said they wanted to read it so here to go (gif is mine)

Dear y/n,

You will never believe what’s been happening! I’ve fallen in love (for real this time)! And he’s a pogue! His names John B, he works on my dads boat, I know cliché. I thought I was happy with my life, thought I had everything planned out and everything was perfect but I never realised how much I was missing! The pogues are all so carefree - considering. They just do whatever they want and it’s always fun, I haven’t stopped laughing since I’ve been hanging out with them.

My brother isn’t very happy about it, but he’s not very happy about anything really. He called me a traitor for hanging out with pogues, he’s so annoying! I can’t wait for him to go off to college or something and just get out of my hair!

The second bit of good news? My dad said you can come stay for the summer! As in the whole summer! Now you just have to get permission and we can finally see each other again! I’m so excited let me know as soon as you can come!

Love, Sarah.

It was written in her neat hand on her usual pale pink paper. You loved the end of the month when you’d receive a letter from your best friend. Best friend. It always felt strange and people never understood how you could have a best friend you had met on vacation when you were seven. You hadn’t seen each other since but you had promised to keep in touch with letters and you had much to both your parents surprise. You loved when Sarah would complain about her older brother and younger sister, she was always so dramatic when she spoke about them. You also couldn’t believe that not only had she fallen in love (again - this was the twelfth time since you were seven) but she had gotten permission for you to stay the rest of the summer and had waiting to tell you via letter! You grabbed your phone off of your night stand and quickly hit the call button under her name, waited a few rings, then her cheerful voice answered.

“Y/N! Did you get my letter?” She asks quickly.

“Yes. I can’t believe you haven’t already told me about your new boyfriend! Or that I’m allowed to come and stay!” You complain.

“You know I like saving my good news for the letters. It feels more...romantic.” She giggles down the phone, “so, can you stay?”

“I haven’t asked yet. I can’t see why they’d say no.” You roll over onto your back, smiling widely up at the ceiling, “so tell me about John B!”

And she did. She told you everything they had done together so far, how amazing he was, how charming and funny and hot. He didn’t much sound like yours or Sarah’s type at all but you couldn’t help the grin on your face hearing how happy she sounded when she spoke about him. You stayed on the phone for well over an hour listening to her gush over her new man before finally hanging up.

You were excited at the prospect of finally seeing Sarah again but also a little hesitant. She sounded so wrapped up and in love with John B that you were sure you would be the third wheel for the whole summer. Or the sixth wheel, after hearing about her new friends too. But the excitement of seeing Sarah won over your worries so you ran downstairs to ask permission to go. After lots of begging and lots of sucking up, your parents said yes.

—-

You had never been anywhere on your own before so you were nervous the minute your parents left you at the dock to board the ferry. You were sure something would go wrong. You’d lose your ticket. You’d get on the wrong boat. But amazingly everything went smoothly and before you knew it you were getting off the other side. The midday sun was blaring down already, it was much hotter out here on the island than it was where you lived well into the mainland.

You walk along the dock, trying your best to see over the top of people’s heads to try and spot your friend. You were slowly starting to worry she wasn’t here until you saw the blonde leaning against a post, you hurried over probably bashing people with your bags but you didn’t care.

Sarah spotted you as you ran closer, her face suddenly breaking out into a wide grin as you dropped your bags and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.

“Oh my god you’re finally here!” She cheers squeezing you back just was hard.

“It’s been a long time coming.” You smile giving her one last squeeze before letting go, “So, what's on the agenda for this summer?”

“We’re going to have the best summer ever!” Sarah links her arm through yours after you pick your bag up, “We’re going to go shopping, have late nights watching movies, parties on the beach! It’s going to be amazing.”

You agree and throw your bag into the back of Sarah’s car before climbing into the passenger seat. The whole drive to her house you let her gush about John B and how amazing he was, you refrained from pointing out she’d already told you over the phone. You loved seeing her face light up when she spoke about him and only wished you could feel that way about someone one day.

You knew Sarah’s house would be big however it was a lot bigger than you ever imagined it would be. But as you drew closer it wasn’t the house that was drawing your attention but the boy in front of it. He was wearing a grey T-shirt, tight against his biceps as he leant over a bike rubbing at it with a cloth. You couldn’t stop your eyes from watching his arms as they flexed cleaning the bike.

“Okay, disgusting. Can you stop eye fucking my brother?” Sarah laughs and pushes your shoulder, “I cannot deal with that all summer.”

“That’s Rafe?” You ask looking back over to him, “Why didn’t you tell me your brother was hot?”

“Ew, he’s my brother he’s not hot! He’s also an asshole.” She rolls her eyes before finally climbing out of the car. You follow suit, pulling your bag from the back and following her towards the house. Your eyes land back on Rafe as you walk past but the boy doesn’t look up from his task so you turn away and follow Sarah into the house.

——

“Fucking hell JJ you’re gonna set everything on fire!” Pope shouts, the boy jumps up and runs after the blonde who was currently running around the yard with a burning log pretending to be a caveman.

“Is he always like that?” You ask looking at the curly haired girl beside you.

“Oh, yeah,” she nods, “He’s an idiot.”

You laugh and watch Pope grab the log from JJ, telling his friend off before he threw the log back into the bonfire. JJ followed Pope back to the circle, sitting down in a sulk as he took an angry gulp from his beer.

“Never any fun.” He mutters to himself before breaking out in a grin, “Hey, y/n you haven’t seen my party trick! Let’s take the boat out!”

“JJ it’s pitch black,” Kie shakes her head, “You can barely do it in daylight, you’ll end up falling overboard and drowning.”

JJ let’s out another huff, “Alright, what am I supposed to do for fun then?”

Sarah had brought you to John B’s chateau to meet her friends. John B was not at all how you imagined him but you liked him well enough. Kie was lovely as was Pope and you looked forward to hanging out with them more. JJ was definitely a little chaotic and not someone you would usually hang out with but he seemed to have good intentions so you were sure he’d grow on you.

The night was full of drinking and laughing, the boys running around like idiots as you and the girls fell about laughing at their antics. This was the kind of thing you thought about when you thought of perfect summer nights. Drinks with friends, evenings full of laughter with music and a bonfire.

——

You were thankful that you didn’t drink too much the night before when you woke up with a clear head. You poked your head into Sarah’s room to find her still fast asleep, arm dangling off the bed as her face pressed into the pillows.

You made our way around the kitchen, opening up every cupboard in search of a glass. You let out a huff of frustration when you open your fourth cupboard to find plates and still no glasses.

“Need a hand?” A voice asks, causing you to jump back in surprise.

You spin around to see Sarah’s brother leaning against the doorframe, apparently having watched you search the kitchen for the last few minutes.

“Glasses?” You ask hopefully.

He shoots you a small smirk and walks into the kitchen towards the cupboard furthest from you and hands you a glass from it.

“Coffee?” He asks, already placing two mugs down onto the counter.

“Sure, thanks.” You take the glass and fill it with water from the fridge, gladly accepting the steaming mug of coffee the boy offers.

“I’m Rafe.” He finally introduces himself.

“I know, Sarah’s annoying older brother,” you let out a laugh, “Y/N.” You offer him your name with a slight smile.

“So you’re the pen pal, isn’t that a bit redundant now?” He leans against the counter, legs crossed slightly as he looks over at you.

You copy his stance opposite him and shrug, “Somewhat, but there’s something a lot more personal about receiving a letter, more intimate. I think it’s a shame people don’t do it anymore.”

“But a text is much quicker.” Rafe shrugs, seeming to miss the point completely, but it’s what you expected.

“Yes, it is quicker.” You agree.

A silence falls over the kitchen, a silence that’s surprisingly not awkward. You study Rafe as he looks down at his mug, hand moving in circles as his eyes watch the brown liquid move around. You weren’t sure what you expected Rafe to be like, but you were sure this wasn’t it. From what Sarah had described you expected someone loud, boisterous and irritating. Someone who would laugh at you not being able to find the glasses and walk away leaving you confused. Not someone who would pass you the glass you were desperately searching for and then offer you a coffee on top.

He looks up. Striking eyes meet yours and he smiles for the first time but it doesn’t reach the blue of his eyes, it stops somewhere just past the corners of his lips.

“How do you like the outer banks then?” He asks.

“Love it.” You beam, you laugh at the look Rafe shoots you, “No really! It’s so nice to be away from the city. This is what summer is supposed to be like, beaches and bonfires, not walking around busy streets.”

Rafe ponders your answer for a moment, “I guess. It’s just hard, when you’re used to it it gets kind of boring and repetitive.”

“Well, maybe you should find some new hobbies then.” You smile.

Rafe let’s out a chuckle, it’s dry and seems forced, “Yeah, maybe I should. Well, if you get bored hanging around the Pogues, come find me and I’ll show you how a summer should be spent.” He shoots you a wink and exits the kitchen. That, you think, is more the Rafe you were expecting.

——

“You’re not going to go, are you?” Sarah inquiries for the second time.

You’d just finished telling her about your morning meeting with Rafe and she’s been adamant you shouldn’t hang out with him. Not that you were planning to in the first place, but now she had explicitly said you shouldn’t, you kind of wanted to.

You refrain from rolling your eyes, “No Sarah. I came here to hang out with you, not your brother.”

Sarah smiles, happy with your answer she links her arm through yours like she had the day before. You both had beach bags slung over your shoulders as you made your way towards the golden sea of sand.

The rest of the group were already on the beach. John B and Kie were digging around in the cool box looking for beers while JJ was building a sandcastle around Popes legs.

You liked the beach and you liked Sarah’s friends but you found yourself growing bored quickly. It was too hot to lay around in the sun and you had never been a fan of the ocean so refused the offers of learning to surf. Even if you liked the water you didn’t imagine you’d be any good, your balance definitely comparable to bambi on ice.

Sarah was attached to her boyfriend at the hip, you didn’t blame her, she’s young and in love but it wasn’t very fun for you. You wished you’d brought a book or your headphones with you. It wasn’t until Kie mentioned a party that you perked up a bit, a party, that was definitely more your scene.

“Where?” You ask leaning up on your elbows on the towel.

“On the beach of course,” Kie holds a beer out towards you, “Pre drinks?” She grins waving it around.

You take the can from her and crack it open, trying to plan out your outfit in your head. Usually you’d wear a dress and heels to a party, but you didn’t expect that would be the best attire for a beach party. It was probably more of an occasion for shorts, a tank top and sandals.

——

The beach was crowded by the time you got there, a lot busier than you expected it to be. You were more than shocked when you noticed Rafe and what you guessed were his friends while you were getting your second drink. You hadn’t expected him to attend a party on this side of the beach, seeing his apparent hatred for the pogues.

He catches your eyes and sends you a nod before turning back to his conversation and you can’t help the small smile that appears on your face. Rafe didn’t seem like the dick Sarah had made him out to be and you were glad to have another friendly face around.

You were in your own world, dancing around with your fifth beer in hand when an arm wrapped around your shoulders. You spin, glad the arm was tight around you or you would have toppled over. Rafe is stood smiling down at you, you could tell from his eyes he’d drank a fair bit but he didn’t seem too intoxicated.

“Still having fun pogueing around?” He asks.

You should shrug his arm away from you but you find you enjoy the weight of it against you and lean into him more.

“I guess,” your fingers play with the red cup in your hand, “I mean, there’s nothing else to do, is there?” You half tease.

Rafe can sense your playful tone and matches it with a smirk, “I’ve already said I’ll show you a good time.”

“Sarah would kill me if I went running off with you,” you admit, leaving the part about wanting to anyway unsaid.

“Well, when she’s not looking you know where to find me.” He smirks, letting his fingers linger on your shoulder for a second longer before he sauntered away back into the throng of drunk party goers.

——

It was a week later when you finally took Rafe up on his offer, after you had promised Sarah the only reason you didn’t want to go out on the boat was because it had made you sea sick the day before. She’d pouted but eventually agreed on going without you. Rafe offered for you to join him and his friends at the golf course. Golf was definitely not your thing, but when you options were that or spend the day in the house alone and hope you don’t bump into ward, you chose the former.

“I thought you were going to show me how a summer should be spent.” You complain as you lean against one of Rafes golf club watching him and his friends line up for the seventeenth hole.

“This is how a summer should be spent.” Rafe comments, raising his beer into the air, “Beer, sun and golf.” He nods.

“Well, it’s not my ideal summer.” You sigh watching Toppers ball fly across the green.

“So what’s your ideal summer?” Kelce asks as he lines up his ball.

Kelce was definitely your favourite out of Rafes two close friends. You liked Topper well enough, but there was something about him you weren’t too sure about. Kelce on the other hand was a lot more pleasant than you expected him to be, he was friends with Rafe after all. But he’d made you feel welcome the minute you got to the golf course, even trying to teach you how to play.

“Adventure.” You state with a nod of your head, “I’m in a new place, I want to look around. Find new cool things, not wander around a field.”

Kelce chuckles as he hits his ball off the tee, “I wouldn’t call it a field.”

“You want adventure?” Rafe questions pointing at you with his club as he walks up to take his shot, “I’ll give you adventure.”

They finish the last two holes and then Rafe is dragging you out of the club house and towards his truck. He drives back to his house, swapping his truck for the bike you had seen him cleaning last week.

“You want me to get on that?” You ask with a raised brow.

“You want adventure but you won’t get on a bike?” Rafe laughs holding his helmet out to you.

“Adventure won’t kill me.” You roll your eyes but sigh and accept the helmet.

The bike was not as bad as you expected it to be. Rafe drove somewhat sensibly, you expect it had everything to do with you being on the back. It wasn’t until you were out on a dirt path that he started pulling the bike up to ride solely on the rear wheel and you found yourself clinging onto the boy for dear life.

“Rafe!” You scream, fists clutching at the front of his blue polo shirt, “Stop!” You squeeze your eyes shut as the boy just laughs.

Finally he stops the bike and you jump off, ripping the helmet off your head and throwing it at the laughing boy, “Are you actively trying to kill me?”

“Yeah, I bring all the girls out here to kill and bury them.” He chuckles and puts the stand down on the bike before climbing off.

“Right, I don’t doubt you do.” You turn around, arms crossed over your chest, “Where are we?”

You walk towards what seems to be the edge of a cliff, looking down you can see the waves crashing angrily against the rocks below.

“This is the best spot to come when you want to be alone,” Rafe appears behind you, you can tell what he really means is this is where he comes when he wants to be alone, “No one comes up here and there’s no phone signal.”

“The perfect place to hide a body.” You smirk over at him.

“Exactly, or the perfect place to learn to ride.” He grabs your hips and turns you back towards the bike, pushing you towards it.

“Wait, what?” You ask looking back at him over your shoulder, “Here? What if I fall off the edge?”

“Don’t drive towards the edge.” Rafe laughs as though it’s obvious and you suppose it is, “C’mon, sit.” Rafe pats the seat of the bike.

You debate with yourself whether you should get on the bike or not, you’d never even learnt to drive a car let alone a bike, so you knew you probably shouldn’t. But for some reason although you barely knew Rafe you trusted him. So you climb onto the bike, gladly accepting the helmet he offered to you again and pushing it down onto your head.

Rafe shows you the ignition and the controls you need to move it and to brake. You start off slow, conscious about falling off and breaking your neck. Rafe followed behind you like a parent teaching their child to ride a tricycle for the first time. Slowly you began to build speed, but nowhere near as fast as Rafe was driving and you definitely were not going to be pulling any wheelies. Rafe stands to the side, arms crossed over his chest as he watches you ride up and down the small path.

You stopped the bike next to the boy, pulling the helmet from your head with a large grin plastered across your face.

“That was amazing!” You comment, letting Rafe put the stand down so you can climb off, “I’m not saying I’d want to ride one all over the place, but up here where no one else is was really fun.”

“And you didn’t fall off the edge!” Rafe comments in a congratulatory tone causing you to laugh.

You sit down beside Rafe on one of the large rocks near the cliff edge, you hadn’t realised how long you had been out with the boy but the sky was beginning to turn orange as the sun set for the night. The view was breathtaking and you hadn’t noticed it while you had been riding.

“I can see why you like it up here.” You murmur, eyes fixed on the point where the sky meets the ocean, the orange of the sky reflecting off the sparkling waters.

“My father taught me how to ride up here.” Rafe admits, Sarah had told you all about Rafe and Wards relationship and in all honesty you felt sorry for him. You couldn’t imagine how hard it must be to strive to meet perfection for someone who doesn’t give you a second glance. Although it doesn’t excuse the things Rafe does, it at least gives you some understanding as to why he does them. He’s crying out for the attention he craves and for some unknown reason you want to give it to him.

You don’t reply. Instead you reach out and rest your hand on top of his letting the silence speak for you.

----

“Are you coming with me today or are you hanging out with Rafe again?” Sarah teases you, you were worried that she was going to be upset with you but the girl seemed more amused than anything.

She was already home when you got back past dark with Rafe and she had grilled you for the details of your day. She’d informed you that Rafe wouldn’t be like that with just anyone and that he must have a crush on you. But you’d just laughed her off, telling her he’s not the person she thinks he is. You knew siblings usually had some kind of rivalry, and seeing how much nicer Ward was to Sarah than Rafe you weren’t really surprised he acted hostile towards his younger sister.

“I don’t know, I don’t know if Rafe even wants to hang out with me again.” You shrug following your friend into the living room.

“Well you’re more than welcome to come with me, but Rafe’s usually out by now and he’s still lingering around.” She nods towards the back doors where you can see Rafe through the glass.

He’s sitting on one of the garden chairs, leg bouncing as he taps against the arm of the chair. Sarah gives you a little push towards the doors and you soon find yourself walking through them, face lighting up as Rafe notices you and smiles.

“Hey.” He stops tapping and sits up straighter.

“Hey.” You reply, you stand in front of him semi awkwardly, what if he hadn’t been waiting for you and had in fact just been enjoying sitting in his backyard in the morning sun.

“Do you have plans today?” He asks, you think he sounds a bit hopeful.

“I’m not sure...Sarah said I can go with her, but she seems more adamant I should hang out with you.” You both turn to see Sarah through the window trying her best to look like she’s not watching the interaction, “Maybe she doesn’t like me.”

Rafe chuckles, “Or maybe she just wants me to hang out with someone other than my bone head friends,” He chews on his lower lip, “I know somewhere we can go, if you want.”

That somewhere turned out to be a shaded woody area with a stream running through it. A stark contrast to the beach you had been to multiple times in the last week you’d been here. But you liked it, the shade was a welcome break from the sun and the sound of the water gently flowing over the rocks was calming.

Rafe stops walking beside a large tree, pointing with a smile towards a badly carved ‘R’ in the bark, “I think I was about eight when I did that.”

You smile and trace the letter with your finger. You weren’t sure if it was a conscious decision by Rafe to bring you to places that meant something to him, but you were glad that he was. It meant more than just taking you to random touristy destinations and it felt like you could peek a little more inside of him with each trip.

Rafe tugs on a piece of rope hanging from one of the branches, it was frayed at the end and looked like it had seen much better days. But after Rafe had tugged on it a couple of times and deemed it safe he offered it over to you. You laugh and accept the rope, giving it a tug of your own as you look up to where it was tied around the tree.

“It’s safe, tyed it myself.” Rafe comments as he watches you.

“When you were eight?” You shake your head when Rafe nods, “If I fall in you better run.”

You prepare yourself for a wet landing but miraculously the rope doesn’t break and you make it to the other side of the river in one piece and completely dry. You throw the rope back over to Rafe and he soon joins you on the other side.

“What if we come back and the rope’s snapped?” You ask watching the rope slowly swinging back and forth over the water.

Rafe watches too for a moment before tugging your arm to follow him, “You get wet.” he states.

You let Rafe guide you through the trees, the river never far from your left side as you make your way deeper into the woods. You find yourself grabbing onto Rafe’s arm as you climb over roots and fallen branches, sure no one ever came down here.

“Is this your second favourite place to hide bodies?” You ask with a laugh as you duck under a low branch.

Rafe hums, “No bodies here,” He replies, “Actually, I haven’t been here in years. I kind of forgot about this place until I was thinking about places to take you.”

“You were thinking about places to take me.” You ask, a small fluttering feeling creeping into your stomach.

“I promised you adventures, didn’t I?” He looks back at you with a smile.

You nod quickly, “You did,” You agree, “I look forward to more, then.”

Rafe led you the rest of the way in comfortable silence, both of you enjoying the calming sounds of nature instead of forcing a conversation about something meaningless. You stop beside Rafe when the river pools out into a small lake beside a cliff, water cascading down the side of the rocks.

“Wow,” you gaze across the water, “How have you found the nicest places?” You step in front of him, walking along the edge of the water towards the waterfall.

Rafe follows behind, “I spent a lot of time exploring when I was younger,” He tells you, “I could come here and be anything I wanted.”

“It’s amazing.” You state, “I wish we had places like this back home. We just have busy streets and over crowded parks.”

“C’mon.” Rafe hurries in front of you, grabbing your hand on his way past.

He helps you climb over the rocks towards the waterfall, both of you getting completely soaked as you pass under it, but even in the shade the weather was hot and sticky so you really didn’t mind. Behind the falling water you find a small cave, you weren’t sure if it was big enough to even be called a cave, but you had no other name for it. The stone inside the cave was dry and you let Rafe pull you to sit inside it.

“I used to come here when I was in trouble. No one could ever find me.” He laughs.

“I guess no one would think to look for you behind a waterfall.” You grin, “I wouldn’t. How did you even find this place back here?”

“Like I said, I used to do a lot of exploring.” Rafe shrugs as he moves forward and sticks his hand into the water. “I like listening to the water.”

“You can close your eyes and imagine you’re anywhere,” You comment, letting your eyes fall shut but you soon open them again, “I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be, though.”

Rafe looks at you over his shoulder, a smile gracing his lips and you couldn’t help but think this one was real. Unlike that first day, this one reached his eyes setting his whole face alight with pure happiness. You like it. You like his smile and you like being the one to put it there.

You spend most of the morning sitting behind the waterfall talking about anything you can think of. Most of it mundane small talk but some of it deeper. You tell Rafe about a few things from your childhood, seeing as he’d shared a couple of his own. Then as it drew closer to lunch time he took you to a diner on the edge of town which mostly sold various breakfast foods.

You knew you had asked Rafe for adventure, but you decided you would be happy doing absolutely nothing as long as he was in your company. You liked his company and you hoped he liked yours enough to spend most of the summer with you.

----

“Are you going to tell me what we’re doing?” You ask letting Rafe lead you towards a large stone building.

“Do you not have surprises where you come from?” Rafe teases, “I’ll explain, if I tell you, it kind of ruins the whole thing.”

You roll your eyes and slap his arm playfully. Rafe had told you to be ready by midday and to wear something nice. So you’d picked out a red summer dress and actually bothered with your hair and make up for the first time during your trip. As you got closer to the building you saw a sign which read ‘Wine Tasting.” and quickly tugged on Rafe’s arm.

“We aren’t even old enough to drink!” You hissed but he just shushed you and entered the building.

The waiter didn’t seem to bat an eyelid at the fact that you were both clearly only late teens and not over 21. He greeted Rafe by name and led you both over to a table on the balcony. The table was already set up with multiple glasses of various wines and you raised your brows at Rafe.

“How do they just let you in?” You ask in a hushed voice.

Rafe simply shrugs, “Perks of being a Cameron.” He grins and hands a glass over to you, “I’ve tried them all before.”

“I can’t try all of these, I’ll be drunk before one!” You laugh but take the glass from him.

“You’re not actually supposed to drink them.” He comments.

“You think I’m not going to drink them?” You raise one brow at him and bring the wine to your lips. It was a rose and it tasted much sweeter than you usually liked but still you swallowed it, “If there’s wine, I’m drinking it.”

Rafe laughs, shaking his head in amusement as you finished the rest of the glass. You both tried every wine on the table, Rafe getting rid of the wine like you’re supposed to, you downing each glass and getting steadily more drunk as the afternoon drew closer.

“So, which was your favourite?” He asks.

You purse your lips, mulling over the question in your seriously tipsy state, “The dry white.” You finally decide.

Rafe nods at your choice and excuses himself from the table. While he’s gone you look out over the balcony, the view mostly fields and trees but it was picturesque in the summer sun. You hum contentedly to yourself before snapping your head back round at the sound of a bang on the table. Rafe stood with four bottles of wine in his hands, motioning for you to follow him.

“You brought four?” You laugh following him down the stairs and back towards the car.

“Yeah, now we get to drink the best one and get blissfully wine drunk.” You can’t help but think that is the best idea yet.

You soon find yourself sitting in Rafe’s backyard as Rafe had put it ‘blissfully wine drunk’. Two bottles had already been finished, Rafe currently working on the third while you had had more than enough for now. You were in that state of drunk where you still knew what was going on, but you were much more confident and comfortable. Your vision was slightly blurred around the edges and if you stood up you knew you wouldn’t be able to walk in a straight line. You knew you shouldn’t be this drunk this early in the day, but Rafe was making you laugh and you felt like your body was full of butterflies so you didn’t care what anyone else would think.

Soon after it had started to get dark and Rafe had attempted to make you grilled cheese - you’d ended up eating it burnt and you hadn’t tasted anything quite so bad in a while, but you had both laughed about it - you found yourself stumbling down towards the beach. Hand tight in Rafe’s half because you wanted to hold his hand, half to stop you face planting the floor.

Rafe had brought the last bottle of wine with you, he stood it in the sand between you as you flopped down into one of the dunes. Dusk was settling across the sky casting a dull but calming hue across the beach.

“I didn’t plan on getting this drunk,” Rafe comments as he pulls the bottle from the sand and takes a sip, “But I’m not complaining.” He offers the bottle to you and you take it, gulping down the liquid before placing it back in its hole.

“You’re a bad influence. I’ve never been drunk at lunch time before!” You point an accusatory finger in his direction.

“Well you’ve been missing out all this time.” Rafe swings his arm around your shoulders and you let him pull you against his side.

His touch is warm in the cool evening sea breeze and you lean into him. Rafe has the power to make you feel completely comfortable around him all the time. You’d never met someone like him before and were quite sure you never would again. He was a one off. One of a kind. Special. So when he kissed against your hair line you smiled and held him closer. He was too good to let go off, physically and mentally.

You tilt your head up, eyes lingering on his willing him to read your mind. And he does. He leans down, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. It was short. A peck more than anything. It was nothing and everything all at the same time. You laid your head back against his shoulder, missing the smile spreading across Rafe’s lips.

----

You sit outside with Sarah, nursing your hangover with a strong coffee as the girl laughs at your self induced misfortune. You weren’t going to tell her about the kiss you and Rafe had shared the night before, honestly you weren’t sure yourself if it meant something to him or if it was just a result of too much to drink. But she’d asked, and you’d admitted it, and she hadn’t been annoyed like you'd expected. Actually, she seemed pretty excited, gushing over the details and letting out a little squeal after you finished.

“It would be so good if you dated my brother! He needs someone good in his life, and you actually look so cute together!” She taps her feet excitedly against the ground, “So what’s on the lovebirds agenda today?”

You open your mouth to tell her that actually you have no idea what you’re doing today. But you don’t get a chance to speak. Instead the table shakes violently as something heavy lands on it and then a second later both of you are covered in water.

Sarah screams and in your hungover state it takes you a second to process what had happened. You look up, glaring at a smiling Rafe hanging out of his bedroom window, it was more than a little unfair that the boy didn’t look the slightest bit affected by yesterday's drinking session.

“I’d move if I were you.” He calls down before another balloon full of water lands on the floor beside you.

Both you and Sarah bolt up from the table and out onto the grass, both dripping wet with angry scowls.

“Rafe you asshole!” Sarah calls up as she wrings her hair out, “I’m not staying here for this, it’s you he’s trying to get!” She points a finger at you before quickly running into the house.

You’re glad when you look up and Rafe is no longer at his window, but that relief quickly dies when he appears at the back door, a balloon already on its way over to you. You scream as it hits your arm, the cold water covering your body.

“This isn't funny Rafe!” You shout, running as another rubber bomb comes towards you, “I’m hungover and now look at me!”

But Rafe doesn’t care. You spend the next ten minutes running away from his assault, finally being able to defend yourself when you grab the hose and point it at him. By the time Rafe is out of balloons and he’s managed to wrestle the hose out of your hands both of you are dripping wet. Rafe’s hair is plastered against his forehead and covering his eyes, yours is hanging down like rats tails. You wring out your shirt, glaring still at the boy but it’s more playful now.

“And what exactly brought that on?” You huff letting go of your shirt.

Rafe shrugs, moving towards you and wrapping his arms around your waist, “I like hearing your laugh.” He answers pulling you closer.

He leans down, his lips finding yours in a wet kiss thanks to your fight. This kiss is longer, his lips pressed against yours firmer than the previous night. Now you knew that it wasn’t some drunken act and that Rafe had in fact wanted to kiss you, and this made you smile against his lips. This time, now you were sober, you could appreciate the moment more. Kissing Rafe was like something you had never felt before. It sounds cheesy to say you felt a spark, and you weren’t sure that’s how you would explain it. But you felt light, like the weight of everything was taken off you at least for a moment. And your body felt warm, like your blood had turned to honey and you felt cosy and safe.

You rest your head against his chest when you finally pull away, ignoring how uncomfortable his wet shirt felt against your cheek. And you stood there holding each other, wet in the morning sun for what felt like forever.

----

The next week is full of Rafe surprising you with something new each day. Sometimes it’s small like a day of baking - which you both suck at - and sometimes it’s big like a shopping trip to town where he treats you to new shoes and dinner. It’s also filled with a lot more kissing and a lot more cuddling. One day, when the weather is more miserable than usual summer days, you make a blanket fort in his bedroom and spend the day cuddling, eating marshmallows and watching cheesy movies on netflix. That was one of your favourite days. To block the world out and spend the day wrapped up in Rafe’s arms was how you wanted to spend every day for the rest of your lives. But that didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy the other days too. The days when Rafe would plan someone special or take you to a meaningful place from his childhood. You knew that no matter what you were doing, if it was with Rafe, you’d enjoy it.

You sat on the deck of the boat, watching as Rafe dropped the anchor setting the boat in its place. The yacht was impressive, but Rafe could have taken you out on a rubber dingy and you still would have loved every second of it.

“Have you ever been jetskiing?” Rafe asks.

“You know I don’t really like the water, Rafe.” You sigh, standing up as he walks over to you and resting your hands against his chest.

“I know, but I think you’ll enjoy it. It’s like riding the bike but bumpier.” Rafe presses a kiss against your forehead, “Do you want to try it? We can come straight back on the boat if you don’t like it.”

You sigh, looking up at his hopeful eyes and you find you just can’t say no to the boy. So you smile and nod your head once, “But if I call in you have to come save me!”

Rafe promises to follow right behind you and helps you get geared up in a life jacket, which made you feel a little better about the coming experience.

It took a couple of minutes for you to get used to sitting on the jet ski before you even moved anywhere and Rafe sat patiently beside you. He held your hand, brushing his thumb across your skin until you announced you were ready to try.

Rafe was right when he said it was like riding a bike and you were glad he had shown you that first. You didn’t dare go very fast, but you still had fun riding around in slow circles. You soon felt comfortable on your own and Rafe sped off, showing off and throwing himself at waves.

He was soaking wet when he appeared back beside you, a grin on his face as he pulled up next to you.

“Show off.” You comment with a giggle.

“Had to give you a show baby.” He leans over and presses his lips against yours.

——

That evening Rafe bundled you into his truck with a duffle back and an armful of blankets. No matter how many times you asked where you were going he refused to tell you. So I’m the end you shut up and turned to stare out of the window watching the town fly by and turn into fields and trees.

Finally he pulls up in the middle of nowhere, grabbing the things from the back and jumping out of the car. You follow after him, noticing a tent set up in a clearing, a faint orange glow coming from inside of it.

“We’re camping?” You grin hurrying ahead of him to check it out.

Inside the tent was fairy lights strung along the room, some blankets and cushions already laid across the floor. It looked cozy and cute, you turned to him, hugging his side tightly.

“This is so cute! When did you set this up? I was with you all day.” You raise a brow at him before helping him set the extra blankets down.

“I got Topper to help out,” he shrugs before pulling you down into the tent beside him.

“I love it.” You grin and lean over pressing a kiss to his lips.

That night you lay stargazing until your eyes hurt and then you climbed inside the tent and curled up in Rafes arms. You talked, you laughed and you kissed. You slept with Rafe for the first time that night, it was slow and sweet and something you will remember forever.

You had never planned on falling so hard for the boy. Thinking this would be a summer fling to tell your friends about and that was it. But now you knew it was more than that. A lot more. You had never felt for anyone the way you felt for Rafe. When he was around you your world life up and your cheeks always hurt from smiling so much.

You couldn’t imagine not getting to see him and touch him every day but time moved too quickly and the end of summer reared its head.

The last night on the island you spent at the annual carnival. You had gone with Sarah, spending half of the night with her and her friends before disappearing off with Rafe.

You went on the Ferris wheel, ate sweets and hot dogs and got lost in the fun house. By the end of the night you felt sick from all the food and insanely happy.

“I’ll come visit you in a month or two, okay?” Rafe promises as you stand on the docks, tears slipping down your face.

You nod your head, letting him kiss you one last time, “Okay. I’ll call you every day.” You offer a smile, rubbing your wet cheeks before disappearing onto the ferry.

You sat on the deck, waving to Rafe until you could no longer see him through the crowds and you were sure he was gone.

You kept your promise of calling him everyday, chatting endlessly about anything you could think of. You loved talking to Rafe because nothing ever felt forced. He made you laugh and smile and e butterflies never went away when you thought about him.

It was the end of the month and you excitedly ripped into the letter addressed to you, expecting to see Sarah’s hand gushing to you about John B and asking you all sorts about your and Rafe. But it wasn’t Sarah’s neat hand you saw but something a little scruffier.

Y/N

I don’t think I’ve ever written a letter before but I remember you saying how you liked them so I thought I would try.

I wanted to say thank you for giving me the best summer, I don’t remember the last time I felt so alive. Being around you is a feeling I want to keep forever, I can never get enough of talking to you, kissing you and hugging you. You make my world a better place and give me a reason to keep trying to be a better person. Thank you for all that you’ve done for me, you’ve helped me more than you can imagine.

I look forward to seeing you next month, I’m counting down the days until I can hold you again.

P.S. Sarah says hi, and that she knew this would happen all along.

Love, Rafe x

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron imagine #outer banks x reader #outer banks fic #outer banks imagine #my writing

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lovemeleo · 3 years

Note

ok.... hear me out.... evgeni having to get his wisdom teeth taken out and being scared for the procedure and jackson comofrting him (also evgeni on anesthetics afterwards because I feel like that would be really funny)

(also I love your writing so much you're just amazing thx bye)

omg anon! I got so excited when I saw this prompt, I shared it with the whole SW discord server. Such a fantastic idea, and I hope I do it justice! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, you’re so sweet! Hope you enjoy this fic xx

credit to @lumosinlove for the SW world and of course Nado & Zhenya

if you’d like to check out my other nuny fics, here are the links:

- Cuddles with Love

- Remus finds out

- A New Dream Come True

- I’ve Got You

- The Same Brainwaves

- All You Need

cw: anesthesia, talking about medicine and dental work

***

“Zhenya, you’ve gotta get out of the car.” Nado said, his head resting on the steering wheel. The only answer he received was a lot of grumbled Russian that he didn’t understand.

They had been sitting outside the oral surgeon’s office for 20 minutes. Luckily Jackson had planned in advance, getting them there an hour early. He knew Zhenya was nervous, it had been obvious since he made the appointment a month ago. Jackson could see the slight tremble in his boyfriend’s hands as he gripped at the sleeves of his hoodie.

Jackson reached over, resting a hand over Zhenya’s, “Baby, it’s going to be okay.” He murmured softly, rubbing his thumb over the frayed sleeve edge that covered Zhenya’s knuckles.

“Don’t want to go to sleep,” Zhenya whispered, turning his hand over to intertwine their fingers together. He had been putting it off for awhile now but the pain was getting too bad, struggling to sleep some nights.

Squeezing his hand, Jackson leaned over and resting his head on the taller man’s shoulder, “I know, babe. But it’ll be quick, they’ll sedate you and then when you wake up, it’ll all be over with and we can go home.”

Zhenya took a deep breath as he looked out the window, “Ok, let’s go. Before I lose confidence.” He said, quickly unbuckling his seatbelt and jumping out of the car. Jackson scrambled to follow him, grabbing his keys and phone before running to catch up to Zhenya who had already made it to the door.

After getting checked in, they sat down in the waiting room. The only sounds were Zhenya’s foot tapping nervously on the floor and the quiet music that played over the speaker. Jackson was thankful for that. If there were any type of dentist machine noises, Zhenya would’ve probably booked it right back out to the car.

Less than fifteen minutes later, a doctor came out the door, “Evgeni?” Zhenya’s hand tensed on the arm of the chair before he nodded.

“It’ll be okay, Zhenya. I’ll be waiting.” Jackson murmured, squeezing his hand before letting him go. He watched as Zhenya followed the doctor back, glancing back before the door closed behind them.

And then he waited.

Around half an hour later, a nurse came out, “Hi, are you here for Evgeni?” She asked, glancing down at her clipboard.

Jackson was up and walking over to her before she finished, “Yeah, that’s me. Is everything okay? Is he okay?”

“Of course. Everything went very smoothly. He should be ready to go within the next couple minutes. We should get back there, he was already asking for you.” She explained, leading him back to one of the rooms.

Before she opened the door, Jackson could already hear Zhenya talking. He couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face.

The nurse opened the door, “Evgeni, I found your Nado for you, hun.” She said, leading Jackson into the room.

Zhenya turned from where he had been rambling to the doctor in a wheelchair, his chubby cheeked face lighting up, “Котенок! You’re here.” He said. Or at least that’s what Jackson thought he said. He had ice packs strapped to either side of his face, gauze filling his mouth. And fuck, Jackson still thought he was cute as hell.

“Of course I’m here, Zhenya. Told you I’d be waiting for you.” Jackson said with a smile.

Zhenya smiled, his head flopping slightly to look at the doctor, “видеть? я говорил тебе. I told you. He’s so good.”

Chuckling softly, the doctor nodded, “Yes, I believe you, Evgeni.” He replied before looking at Nado. “I’ve prescribed him ibuprofen and Vicodin, which you can get from the pharmacy before you go. He can have one of each right away together, but after that it’s one pill of Motrin every six hours and one pill of Vicodin every 4 hours. It’s okay if you don’t remember all this, it’ll be on the bottles and the paperwork. Give us a call if he has any problems, okay?”

“Sounds good. Thanks so much for taking care of him.” Jackson said, shaking the doctor’s hand before he began pushing Zhenya down the hall.

Zhenya stared up at him the whole time, which was fairly comical as he couldn’t close his mouth, but he was still smiling, “Котенок. Hi.” Zhenya mumbled around the gauze.

Running a gentle hand through his hair, Jackson smiled as he made his way to the pharmacy, “Hi babe. You doing okay?”

“So good. Took nap, now I see you. So good.” Zhenya said with a shrug, his head lolling to the side. Once they got to the pharmacy, Jackson parked Zhenya next to one of the chairs. A hand grabbed his wrist before he could walk away though.

Jackson turned to see Zhenya’s pouting face staring back at him, “I need to go get your medicine, Zhenya.”

To Jackson’s horror, tears started welling up in his boyfriend’s eyes, “You go? You leave me?” Zhenya said, his grip falling from Jackson’s arm.

Squatting down in front of Zhenya, Jackson took his boyfriend’s hand in his, “Hey, don’t cry, babe. I’m right here. Not going anywhere. I’ll bring you with, okay? Please don’t cry.” He blurted out, pressing a kiss to Zhenya’s knuckles.

Zhenya sniffled, his free hand coming to rub at his eyes, “Promise?”

“Of course, I promise. I got you, Zhenya.” Jackson said quietly. He pushed the wheelchair up with him to the Pharmacy pick-up desk, parking Zhenya right behind him so he could get the medicine.

Just as he was about to hand the pharmacist his card, a large hand grabbed at his butt, making him let out what could only be called a squeak. Quickly whipping his head around, he gave Zhenya a dirty look, “Really?!”

Zhenya looked completely nonplussed as he leaned back into his wheelchair with the approximate of what Jackson would call a smirk if his face wasn’t so swollen, “What? You put it in my face, how can I not?”

Letting out a sigh, Jackson handed the card to the pharmacist who was now trying to hide their smile. They handed over the bag and finally they were off towards the door, “Do you think you can walk to the car? Or do you want to use the chair?”

“Can I walk? Of course I can walk.” Zhenya said with a huff, carefully pushing himself off the chair. His legs wobbled a bit but after a second, he got his balance, giving Jackson a wide grin. “See? I’m strong. I did so good.”

Chuckling softly, Jackson put the chair back before wrapping an arm around Zhenya’s waist to lead him out, just in case, “Yeah, Zhenya. You did great.”

Zhenya seemed to take Jackson’s arm around his waist as a come-on because the other man felt a hand slowly creeping its way down to the back pocket of his jeans.

“Zhenya, not while we’re trying to walk.” Jackson said with a laugh, squeezing the taller man’s side.

Humming to himself, Zhenya rested his head on top of Jackson’s, “Nutty taught me word for this. Cake. You have nice cake.” He punctuated his statement with another squeeze.

At this point, Jackson was just trying to get them into the car, “Thanks, babe. That’s very nice of you to say.” He said, opening the passenger side door before helping Zhenya in, getting him buckled in. He quickly got in on the drivers side and they were finally heading home.

Zhenya’s hand made its way over to Jackson’s leg as he drove, his fingers drawing shapes into the material of his pants, “I love you, you know, Котенок?”

A soft smile spread on Jackson’s face as he glanced over at his boyfriend, reaching down to squeeze his hand, “Yeah, Zhenya, I know. I love you too.”

The giant soppy grin was back on Zhenya’s face as he leaned onto the headrest, “I’m cuddle you when we get home. All day.”

Well. How could Jackson argue with that?

#nuny #jackson nadeau #evgeni kuznetsov #zhenya #nado #lumosinlove #sweater weather #mentioned: leo knut #fluff #wisdom teeth removal #tw: dentist work #nuny love #soft boys #fic writing #anon ask #ask box #anon prompt

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babyflossy · 4 years

Text

is this real?

pairing; taeyong x female!reader (my future works are gonna be gender neutral unless explicitly stated otherwise)

word count; 1.7k

summary/requested; taeyong wants a calm birthday but you have important news to tell him. I deleted the request for this and I'm pretty sure they wanted smut but I just want this out of my drafts so I'm really sorry! also this was supposed to be a birthday request rip,,, also another instalment of flossy can’t think of titles

genre/warnings; cringey (I'm so sorry), pregnancy (?), fluff

the day had been simple. taeyong had requested you to keep his celebrations to a minimum this year; a true day for him to relax and not have to worry about anything. it had started just as he had wanted, you had made breakfast in bed for him, waking him up with feathery kisses to his cheeks. regardless of his wishes for you to not get him anything, you couldn’t resist getting a few token gifts you knew he would like.

at first, your plan had been to surprise him in the morning, soon after he had woken up. the little wrapped box had never been far from your reach the whole day, even as you found yourself getting ready for the dinner his members had insisted on. every chance you had to give it to him you lost; shaky hands and sweaty palms not allowing you to simply hand over the box wrapped so neatly, a little silver ribbon tied around it.

as you brushed on your blush, convince yourself you would give it to him before you left the house, at least. that didn’t happen, of course, as when you went to get it the only thing you could think of was taeyong’s disappointed face when he opened it. what if he didn’t want it? what if he wasn’t ready.

sure, you had both agreed you wanted kids, but was now the right time? a few months ago he had suggested you to stop taking the pill and just see what happened, but when his company suggested a solo album you had gone back on it. what he didn’t know, and what he was soon to find out, was that in those few weeks of being off the pill you had gotten pregnant.

it had been hell, as expected, keeping it from him. you wanted nothing more than to tell him the moment you found out, but deciding it was only a few weeks until his birthday you managed to hold off telling him. as the weeks dragged on your anxiety only grew until you weren’t even sure if you were ready, let alone him.

a hand rubbing along the bare expanse of your shoulders shakes you from your thoughts and you meet taeyong’s eyes in the mirror, offering him a smile. a frown settles on his face as he toys with the thin strap of the silk dress you’re wearing. the material is tight on your body and it glitters under the artificial light in your bedroom. you think about how you won’t be able to wear dresses like this for a while and sigh.

“you okay?” he mumbles, hands letting your straps go to pull your hair behind your back, leaning down to trail kisses along your shoulder. the action is so caring, so soft and familiar you can feel the familiar tingle of emotion in your eyes.

the brush drops onto the table with a clatter and you stand, turning around to face him. there’s concern still brimming his eyes and you looking away for a moment to calm yourself.

“of course i am, baby,” the suit he’s wearing fits him perfectly and you let your eyes linger down his body before you meet his gaze again, hands rubbing the smooth fabric between your fingers. “you look amazing, as always.”

“not even half as amazing as you, princess,” his hands grip your waist and you feel a sickening twist of your stomach as you look up at him. this was so perfect, you and him, did you really want to change that dynamic? you had heard stories of couples falling out of love after having children and you weren’t sure you wanted to risk it anymore.

“i love you,” with your words, you let your face drop into his chest, closing your eyes as you listen to his heartbeat. you hear him sigh above you and you can tell he sees right through your mask but you’re grateful when he doesn’t push it further. a reply is whispered into your hair before a ringtone breaks you out of your embrace.

“it’s johnny, we should go.”

there’s a chandelier hanging over your head and the crystals glimmer onto the tablecloth in front of you. the soft glittering is calming and a stark contrast to how you feel inside. the look taeyong had shot you when you denied the expensive champagne from the waiter did nothing to soothe your nerves and as you sip your lemon water you question if this is really a good idea.

around you the conversations move too quickly for you to keep up with and you’re close to grateful when johnny turns to you. this is the first time you’ve seen him since you had spilled your biggest secret a few weeks ago, needing to tell someone about the positive pregnancy test. when you were plannnig the day, johnny had made you promsie to tell taeyong before the dinner, but as soon as you had met eyes in the enterance he knew you hadn’t.

it was your first oppurtunity to talk to him and you both keep smiles on your faces so the others around you won’t suspect anything. “why haven’t you told him?”

“i got scared,” you take a sip of water in between your words, “every time i tried to give it to him i– i just couldn’t.”

“you’re a fucking idiot. you know he’ll notice eventually, right? that’s how pregnancy works, dumbass.” johnny teases, the polite grin covering his face is almost comical in comparison to his words. you laugh mockingly and nudge his arm too hard for it to be accidental.

“make fun of me one more time, and i’ll kick you in the shins.”

soon enough, johnny is pulled into a different conversation and you focus on eating your food and calming your heart rate. you vowed silently to yourself that no matter what happens, you’ll tell him before tomorrow morning.

in your daze, the dinner passes quickly and before you know it everyone around you is standing, pulling their coats and suit jackets over their shoulders. taeyong pulls your chair out for you and links his hand in yours as he bids farewell to group. as you’re leaving, you catch johnny’s eyes one last time and scowl at the way he raises his eyebrows expectantly, a sarcastic smirk painting his features.

the car ride home is silent, suffocating. taeyong sits in the passenger seat and watches you frown at the road in front of you, deciding to question you when you're not behind the wheel. the walk into your apartment is silent as well, the same confused expression consuming you as you make your way straight to your bedroom to rid your feet of the heels trapping them.

when you sigh for the umpteenth time in front of your dressing table mirror taeyong realises he's had enough. "what's wrong with you?" the words are firm but hold no malice. in the reflection you watch him run a hand through his hair, his eyes focused straight on you. it’s now or never, you think and reluctantly reach for the draw next to you, retrieving the little box with shaking hands.

when you place it in his lap, the face that looks up at you is nothing but confused. "you got me another present? i told you to keep this–"

"just open it," a nod in the direction of the box accompanies your words and your heartbeat leaps to your throat as you watch him untie the ribbon. fleetingly, you think about ripping it back out of his hands and hiding it again but by now, you want nothing more than to get this over with.

time seems to freeze as he picks up the little white stick out of the clouds of tissue paper. his fingers turn it around a few times before bringing it closer to his eyes. you're not sure why, the two pink lines are visible even from where you're standing. for a heart-stopping moment you think he's going to throw it away, but in an instant he's standing. his arms wrap around you tighter than you think they ever have and relief floods you like a dam breaking.

"is this real?" the whisper is soft and child-like in innocence, taeyong's wide eyes staring at you tenderly. the lump in your throat doesn't allow any words out and you can only nod in reply. the next embrace is longer, and sweeter. he hooks his hand under your head and cradle you to his chest, dropping his face to kiss the top of your head. being held like this does nothing to curb your emotions and the tears start falling before you can stop them. "we're gonna be parents?"

you nod and his lips are on yours in an instant, hands falling back to your waist to pull you into him. the kiss is tender and warm and it shows every emotion you’ve been trying to hide from him for so long. “you’re happy, right?” he asks when you haven’t said anything.

“i'm happy– don’t get me wrong, but i'm so scared, taeyong." the words make him frown down at you, the tears in his eyes making him appear so vulnerable. "what if we're bad parents–"

"hey, hey, hey," he whispers against your forehead, fingers rubbing soothing circles into your waist, "we can't think like that, i'm sure we'll be fine." there's nothing you can do except nod into his chest, exhausted after finally letting out your secret. "how long have you known?"

"a few weeks," you can't help but let out a teary laugh at the shock on his face when you pull away. "i wanted to tell you straight away, believe me i did, but i thought it would be a good surprise."

"that's impressive, i have to admit. i can't wait to tell everyone!"

"about that," you pause, knowing he probably won't like the fact johnny found out about your pregnancy before he did. "johnny already knows."

"you told johnny?" there's disbelief in his voice but you can tell he's not angry. "before me?"

"i'm sorry!" you laugh out, the pout on his face being anything except for funny to you now. "i needed to tell someone!"

"their first word better be daddy to make up for this."

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sayonarasanity · 3 years

Text

dandelion

summary: Maybe, it was the fact that Levi was being a lesser bitch than usual recently, for almost four months actually and hell when he thought about it, Erwin was in fact relatively late to see the signs. But the signs were, to his credit, so transparent no one could blame him for not noticing them any time sooner. Because at first, he had believed that the reason why Levi was acting just a slightly bit kinder towards the people in the office, was perhaps the tea machine he had bought himself which was excellent at steeping tea and good tea always brought his spirits up. But now he suspects the reason might not be something that simple.

AO3

Erwin was quick to catch the signs.

The signs, however, were subtle also as fast to disappear. Like the bubbles on boiling water, there were plenty of them but only if you were observant and in Erwin’s case bored enough to catch them. And he didn’t even know if he was interpreting them correctly. Levi was, always had been quite a private man. Despite being friends with him for years there were still times he had to squint to pick up the altering lines of emotions on his face, or times he had to get him drunk for good for Levi to spill out what was bothering him lately. Fortunately, it wasn’t that hard to understand that something was in fact bothering him—he had a habit of being a bigger bitch than he already was at those times.

So maybe, it was the fact that Levi was being a lesser bitch than usual recently, for almost four months actually and hell when he thought about it, Erwin was in fact relatively late to see the signs. But the signs were, to his credit, so transparent no one could blame him for not noticing them any time sooner. Because at first, he had believed that the reason why Levi was acting just a slightly bit kinder towards the people in the office, was perhaps the tea machine he had bought himself, which was excellent at steeping tea and good tea always brought his spirits up. But now he suspects the reason might not be something that simple.

Apart from the tiny change in attitude, the first sign he caught was the umbrella or rather the lack of it.

“Morning,” he greeted as they both stepped inside the elevator. The rain had started simultaneously with the sunrise and hadn’t ceased since. It was a heavy one which caused the temperature to decrease a few degrees. And Erwin knew that this kind of weather was not Levi’s favourite. It was like the dark clouds were somehow linked to his mood, he was surprisingly fast to be affected by them, negatively. As an addition, he absolutely loathed being soaked and if he were to forget his umbrella or couldn’t find it before leaving the house then it was farewell to serenity for the day.

“Morning,” replied Levi, nodding and stood beside him as he pressed upon the button seven, leaving a drop of water slipping down through the buttons as he retreated his hand. And he combed his wet hair back, then used his hand to wipe the raindrops from his face which… didn’t work for both his face and his hand were almost equally wet. He must’ve walked the way from home to the subway then the way from the subway to work.

Erwin noticed that he had been staring not very subtly at Levi. “Forgot your umbrella again?” He asked, smiling to wipe the stupid look on his face.

Levi threw him a very brief glance and Erwin tensed involuntarily because here came the scolding. He was going to pay back trying to talk to a very soaked and a very grumpy Levi Ackerman—

“No.” Erwin blinked because he had actually answered and the tone of his voice was, well not the warmest of voices for sure, but it was at least neutral. “I lent it to a friend.”

“I see,” Erwin nodded, and the elevator stopped after seconds. And it was not until they both left the elevator, walk through the office and he chatted with colleagues on the way to his desk and hung his jacket then his umbrella that he noticed—

Yesterday, Levi had an umbrella.

It wasn’t raining yesterday but the weathercast on their phones was saying that it would start by the time they left work, hence Levi had come prepared, but it hadn’t rained. So, if he had lent it to someone it was either after work, which was unlikely, or it was this morning before he left for work.

Which meant, Erwin thought startlingly as he blinked at the soaked cloth of his own umbrella, that someone, his friend whoever they were, possibly had stayed the night. And the thing was just like how it was impossible to stop the raindrops in mid-air by mental force, it was just as unlikely for someone like Levi, who was so strict about his boundaries, and who had extremely firm rules about hygiene, to let a friend stay at his home. He didn’t even have that many friends, to begin with. Unless that friend was someone overly special, someone, whom he thought was worth flexing those boundaries. And through their years’ worth of friendship, Erwin had never encountered someone as such.

“No way,” he whispered, amused. He genuinely hoped that he wasn’t reading too much into it because Heaven knows he could use some fun especially if it was brought by famous Levi I-feel-nothing- Ackerman.

No matter how delightful to think it was, Erwin was not a man to jump to conclusions. The possibility of him making things up was obviously there, solidly. But it wasn’t like he was going to give up that easily. Gingerly, while trying hard not to expose himself, he followed the tell-tale hints as much as he could. Hints like him being more laid back, his features being more relaxed replacing the ever-present scowl every now and then. He was also somewhat absent at times and was looking at his phone more frequently than usual.

Levi was a firmly shut chest and not everyone had the key to open him. And contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t a mean person per se. He was simply a little cold, distant and didn’t like to accept everyone in his life easily. Such demeanour was to be misinterpreted, rightfully so. But Erwin kind of saw it as a defence mechanism, plus for someone like Levi who had a complicated background, it was to be understood. To be honest, he was one of the nicest, tactful and merciful people Erwin had ever met and also the only one who had the ability to masterfully hide that softer side of him.

Yet, as the clues dropped bit by bit Erwin realized that recently he wasn’t that good at hiding it.

He was coming back from the kitchen having refilled his cup with fresh coffee just yet when he saw Levi sitting at his desk, his back facing him. Erwin’s desk was the one in front of Levi’s, just behind the divide that separated them. He took a sip from his coffee; the hot liquid burned his tongue, and the stream brushed his cheeks. And just as he lowered the cup and gulped down the coffee in his mouth, realizing that it wasn’t actually that fresh, he saw it.

The faint, barely visible, ghost of a smile on Levi’s lips while looking at something on his phone.

Erwin blinked a couple of times to make sure that it wasn’t the fog of the coffee that was playing with his vision. Then focused on his friend’s face to get a better look at it. It wasn’t like Levi never smiled, he did. Occasionally. But they were generally mocking, or amused, or belittling, and very rarely sneaky smiles. Not like this one which was curling the tips of his mouth upwards in an almost… oh, I’ll be damned, Erwin thought but it was clear as day, it was in an almost affectionate way.

As if noticing his shocked gaze, Levi locked his phone and just like that the tiny smile was gone, replaced by the regular scowl and blank stare. Hence, closing his mouth Erwin walked closer and sat down on his desk. Then placing his cup on top of the desk he looked at Mike, who was sitting next to him and was furiously typing on his keyboard. Yet, when he did notice his stare, he threw Erwin a questioning look along with a raised brow. But Erwin simply shook his head and got his attention back to his work.

Not yet.

The third and final sign which managed to persuade Erwin at the end was the phone call.

He was about to take a smoke break on the terrace when he saw Levi talking on his phone. Erwin wasn’t the type to listen to people’s conversations. He had very strict moral rules about the whole respect the privacy issues. But he was extremely bored and getting a little impatient about learning exactly what was going on with Levi—surely a simple way like directly asking him would solve his problem but he would very likely gain nothing with that. If Levi had wanted, he would have told him months ago.

So, he accidentally happened to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Use the shower too,” he was saying when Erwin stood behind him near enough to hear but far enough not to be noticed. “I don’t want you to get my furniture dirty.”

He couldn’t hear what the person on the other end of the line was saying. He eyed Levi who was drawing a breath from his cigarette at the moment and put one between his lips as he watched cautiously. Levi then blew out the smoke and pinched his nose, seemingly irritated. “No,” he said. “No, dumbass. How many times do I have to tell you? Put the whites and blacks separately. Or best, don’t even touch the laundry. You’ll mess up my shirts.”

He tapped the end of his cigarette with his index finger causing the ashes to fly away with the wind. He listened to what they were saying for a while, drawing one or two breaths from the smoke he placed on his mouth. And when he turned his head a little to the side, Erwin saw that tiny, barely visible smile on his lips again. “Do it if you think you can. Just don’t burn my kitchen.”

Miracle. Had someone cast a spell upon him? He was offering his shower, his kitchen and almost his laundry to someone who was clearly not an expert on any of these things.

“Alright,” he said pressing the butt of the cigarette on the metal trash bin near him. “Will you stay the night?”

Erwin felt his brows shot upwards upon his question and he watched with even more shock the blush, the knots of red appearing on his cheeks. Blush! Had he accidentally stepped into an alternate reality?

“Dumbass,” he said once more, and Erwin caught it in his tone this time. Affection. “Stay. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Only when Levi left the terrace without even a glance at Erwin and the trace of the smile still more or less evident on his lips, Erwin realized that he had forgotten to light up his cigarette.

Erwin didn’t really like gossip. He usually saw it as a waste of time, and he was too busy to involve in such dialogues anyway. So, he made sure to stay clear from the drama as much as he could.

But this time it was different.

He blamed it on the brain-numbing, boring texts that he had to redact and edit, and do the same each day to the texts which so very rarely changed in context. Boredom, he declared, was the perpetrator of his actions.

“Mike,” he whispered during the lunch break. Levi had left alone, saying that he had other things to do. “Hey.”

“What?” Mike asked, not taking his eyes away from the screen of his phone, locked on the game he was playing.

“I think,” Erwin started, checking his surroundings to make sure no one was near them. “I think Levi is seeing someone.”

Mike’s fingers on the screen froze and his eyes slowly travelled from his phone to Erwin. It lasted merely a couple of seconds for him to snatch the air pod from his ear, pause the game and move his chair closer to him. “Tell me more.”

And so, Erwin did. He told him about the lent umbrella, the affectionate smile, the little hints he picked up and finally the phone call he had just witnessed. Mike listened to him, humming and caressing his beard with his hand thoughtfully.

“What do you think?” Erwin asked, wondering if Mike had taken the same impressions as him or it was just Erwin who was actually reading too much into things because of the boring office life he had.

Mike hummed again, bending his lips down and squinting. “You said you saw him smiling affectionately?”

“Yes.”

“Was it creepy?”

“Well, no. Not really.”

“That should mean something, man,” Mike said. “Maybe he brought a cat?”

“He cannot possibly talk to a cat on the phone, Mike” Erwin pointed out. “And lend it his umbrella.”

Mike nodded, agreeing. Erwin rolled his eyes. It wasn’t his fault that he had no one else to gossip about Levi. “Who could they be then?” He asked. “Do you think we know them?”

Erwin shook his head. He couldn’t think of anyone Levi would be interested in. He never properly talked to the people in the office in the first place. “I don’t know.”

“We should find out,” Mike sounded excited as he said so and Erwin relaxed upon realizing that obviously, his interpretations were not that far-fetched.

“How?” To be frank, he too was very curious about the identity of the person who somehow managed to bring the softer side of Levi out in the daylight. Then, putting his more rational part into action, he said, “We can just ask him though.”

“But where’s the fun in that, Erwin?” Mike laid his head backwards and threw him a very disappointed stare. “We need some action and some movement here. I’m selling my soul to this computer every day in exchange for very little money. Also,” he raised a finger, eyes illuminating playfully. “Man, what if he is in love? Hilarious.”

“He is not a robot, you know,” Erwin said, feeling the need to defend his friend.

Mike shrugged and leaned back, turning himself left and right on his seat, lost in thought. “A wedding would do,” he murmured to himself then snapped his fingers. “Nile!”

“What about him?”

“He is getting married this weekend?” He raised his brows at Erwin like he couldn’t believe how he forgot the fact that their old friend was getting married to his very first love.

“Yeah,” Erwin nodded, stopping himself from wrinkling his face as if he tasted something sour in his mouth. “Right.”

Mike put his elbow on his desk and rested his chin on his palm, watching him. “You plan on coming?”

“Sure.” Marie was a rusty and old memory he had left in the past which he would cherish for the rest of his life. But no matter the history he was happy for them both.

“If Levi comes, he might bring the mysterious significant other too, don’t you think?”

Erwin hummed, not a bad idea. “Yeah, actually.”

Mike grinned and stretched his long arms above his head. “Let’s wait and see.”

Levi came to the wedding alone.

Mike and Erwin silently exchanged glances between each other throughout the ceremony but didn’t dare to talk about it out loud. Levi was most of the time busy with his phone, typing. And when he wasn’t they chatted among themselves about work, finance, politics and sports but it never came to anything about the significant others which the two men obviously didn’t have.

Towards the end of the night, after bidding their farewell and congrats to the happy couple Mike offered to go to a bar to have a couple of drinks. Erwin accepted as he had nothing better to do anyway other than maybe starting The Office all over again. He seriously needed something that wouldn’t make him remember his work.

To their surprise, Levi accepted the offer too. And an even bigger surprise came after when the three of them got into Mike’s car to get to the place he had been nagging them about. “A friend of mine might join us later,” he said. “Would that be a problem?”

A quick, excited and wide-eyed exchange of looks with Mike later, Erwin replied, “Why would it be a problem?” He smiled at Levi who was sitting in the back seat.

“It would be great!” Mike exclaimed, and Erwin glared at him, warning. “Do we know them?”

“No, you don’t,” Levi replied curtly. And that was the end of the conversation.

The place Mike took them was freshly opened, clean and not so crowded. They settled on a seat near the window, ordering their drinks. Erwin could tell from the way Levi traced his eyes around the bright floors, polished marbles, and the altering lights that he had liked it.

“So, who is that friend of yours?” Mike asked, his eyes following Levi like a lion slowly getting closer to its prey.

“You’ll find out when she comes here,” came the brief and clear reply. Levi’s eyes were sharp as if indicating that he wouldn’t fall for any of his wordplays.

“You’re no fun,” Mike muttered with dismay as he raised his glass to his lips.

“Ask me if I care.”

“Do you?” Mike asked with an annoying smirk.

“Fuck off.”

“Sorry, I’m late!” A loud, cheerful voice interrupted their bickering. Then a slender, brown-haired woman sat down next to Levi. There was a smile blindingly wide on her lips, oval-shaped frameless glasses were a little slipped down on her nose, and the eyes behind the lenses were a light shade of brown, almost hazel. Her hair was sloppily tied, and the strands that covered her face looked smooth.

And under the curious gazes of the two men, she leaned forward to leave a peck on Levi’s cheek.

Levi coughed and flushed, then tried to hide it behind his glass, taking a long sip from his drink. “This is Hanji,” he said after putting the glass down on the table, but he had failed at wiping the redness away from his cheeks. “Hanji, this is Erwin and Mike. My co-workers.”

“Hanji Zoe,” she beamed at them as she extended her hand to shake their hands. “Levi told me a lot about you.”

“Oh?” Erwin couldn’t help but be somewhat taken aback.

“Well, on the contrary,” Mike spoke up, voicing Erwin’s confusion. “He never told us about you.”

Hanji glanced at Levi who raised a brow at them. “You never asked.”

Wait. Was it really that simple? Seriously? After all the detective work he had done and the passion he had put into it. “You would’ve told us?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s kind of new anyway,” Hanji said, wrapping an arm around Levi’s shoulders. Erwin noticed the slope of Levi’s body against Hanji’s as if he were gravitating towards her. “We’re still trying to get used to it.”

The body language told a lot, Erwin observed. “Seems like you already have,” he blurted and when he realized what he had said the words were already out and heard.

Thankfully, Hanji didn’t seem to have found his statement absurd. “Oh, you think so?” she giggled, and her cheeks coloured as she directed her eyes at Levi. And she hummed softly when their gazes locked. “Maybe.”

Her lips remained curled upwards on the corners, and Erwin couldn’t see the expression in both of their eyes and neither of them spoke, but he felt like words wouldn’t suffice for whatever had been exchanged between them in those short seconds. He watched as Levi’s lips tremble and move, shaping a smile that was so small and so barely apparent. Then he contemplated about how easy it was actually to see happiness in someone who very rarely let his emotions surface. Like dandelions emerging on their own through the mere lawn, right next to the concrete pavements.

“I kind of think it’s creepy though,” Mike whispered, leaning against him.

Erwin snorted amused and finished his drink.

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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caitlyn-winchester · 3 years

Text

Pilot Part 1

Disclaimer link in the master list of this story

Cordell Walker x Daughter!reader

word count: 2,180

warning; character death, angst, gunshots, little fluff, comfort

masterlist

It was a sunny afternoon, a perfect day to be riding around with the windows down jamming out to music with my mom. We were going to meet up with my dad before we headed out to deliver supplies. It was one of those days where my mom let me go with her to drop them off since there was no school. She’s always helping people which is what I admire so much about her. I would love to help people as much as she has, that's why I go with her sometimes so I can learn how to help others.

We pull up on the dirt road and see my dad’s truck approaching. My mom parks the car and gets out. “Well look at you. Did you get your guy?” she smirks at my dad.

“Do you even have to ask?” he states, taking off his hat and putting it on the hood of his truck.

“You get huffy when I don't ask” I chuckle to myself at my mom's response.

“Yeah, I got my guy.” he rolls his eyes and approaches mom more, “You heading out already?”

“Yeah I gotta pick up Geri. she’s got the supplies” she says then dad pulls her into a kiss.

“Ew! Come on guys!” I yell through the car window. “I’m right here.” They pull apart and laugh looking at my direction with their arms still wrapped around each other.

“Its love sweetie, you’ll understand when you’re married one day” mom tell me with a smile

“Which won’t be till your 40!” my dad adds in.

“Really dad” I rolled my eyes and hopped out of the car. I walked toward them crossing my arms, trying to be annoyed but fail and end up smiling. Dad laughs and pulls me into a hug.

“I’m serious Butterbean. No boys” He pulled me tighter in the hug and gave me a kiss on the top of my head. He pulled away smiling, then looked at mom and said “And you’re going to be..”

“On the approved route that you gave me.” she finishes his sentence. He nods and looks over at me again.

“And you little missy will..”

“Stay with mom and listen to her directions.” I replied.

“Okay.” Dad nodded satisfied with our answers.

“Don't worry, Ranger Walker. We’ll be fine” Mom pulled me into a side hug and I leaned my head on her shoulder. “Now get up to the house. Augies waiting on you, with your parents. It’s game night.”

“Right. Uh, how do I play that game again? Every time you tell me the rules I-I black out. And I’ll be at a loss without my usual partner” He says looking to be at the last part. I roll my eyes.

“You’ll be alright, Dad. you might lose every game because I’m usually the reason we win.” I smirk

“Oh really” he said

“Babe.” mom cut us off “just go in there, go have dinner. They're just excited to see you. You could lose every single game and it wouldn't matter”

“Why are you talking about straight to me losing?” he laughed and kissed her again

“Oh for the love of” I grumbled to myself. Jokingly of course, I'm happy that my parents love each other so much.

“Hey. Be safe.” Dad told mom once they pulled away. She nodded and dad looked over at me and said “You too Butterbean”

“Of course daddy.” I said, hugging him one more time before climbing back into the car.

»»————-　★　————-««

It all happened so fast. One minute mom, Geri and I were handing out supplies then the next mom was telling me to run. We kept trying to run but the person was still chasing us. I was running right beside my mom but then she told me to run in a different direction.

“What?” I said as best I could while running.

“I need you to run in that direction,” she nods her head to the left, “ and keep running until you reach your dad’s and my spot, you know where that is right?” She asks and I nod my head. “Good and no matter what happens or what you hear, do not turn around.”

“But what about you?” I ask her tears welling up in my eyes.

“Don't worry about me, just keep running alright”

I nodded my head and said “I love you mom.”

“Love you too baby, now go!” she told me but I looked at her hesitantly. “Now Y/n/n!” she yelled and started to pull out her phone.

I took off in the direction she told me to go in. I was so scared, I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, my lungs and legs were burning, begging me to stop. I heard the faint sound of a gunshot and scream in the distance. It took everything in me to not turn around and go back to my mom but I kept running. I had to, she told me to not stop “keep going, keep going Y/N, she wouldn't want you to stop running” I kept telling myself. I'm tired, confused, scared and overwhelmed at this point. I tried to wrap my head around every scenario that could have happened a couple of minutes ago. Who got shot? Mom? Geri? Was the shot fatal? Did the shooter miss? If I go back would I have been able to save them? Tears are pressing against my eyes, I just want to go home. Adrenaline is the only thing keeping me going at this point. I don't know how long I’ve been running for but I eventually saw my parent’s the white gazebo at Lady Bird Lake.

»»————-　★　————-««

Emily pulled out her phone and called Cordell’s phone, she waited a couple rings before he answered.

“Emily, you alright?” he asked.

“Just had to call you. I told Y/N to go to our spot. Something's not right.” she answered sounding scared

“What do you mean?” Cordell asked, growing concerned for his wife and daughter. Emily didn't respond, Cordell can only hear her panting over the phone. “Emily. Emily.” he says trying to get a response from her. Then he could hear a gunshot and her scream over the phone. His heart dropped and he started to panic, this can't be happening. “Hey.” he said before the line disconnected. He quickly told his family that the call was work stuff. He didn't want to scare them with what he just heard on the phone. He quickly went outside and tried his wife’s phone again. All he got was voice mail. He yelled in frustration and sadness and started crying. The worst thing has happened to him, he lost his wife and possibly his daughter. His daughter! Cordell suddenly remembered that Emily said Y/N would be at their spot. He quickly pulled himself together the best he could and hopped in his truck. He started making his way to Lady Bird Lake praying to God that his daughter will be there. His heart was pounding, Cordell normally doesn't get scared a lot but in this moment he is. Pulling onto the road leading to the gazebo he sees his daughter run out of the trees and collapse. At the sight of her he feels slightly relieved, at least he didn't lose both of girls in the same night.

»»————-　★　————-««

As soon as I reached the white gazebo I collapsed. I start coughing and gasping for air because my burning lungs need it. I flinched away when I felt a hand touch my shoulder, scared it might be the shooter and he might have followed me here.

“Hey, hey, Y/N/N, it's ok.” I heard dad's voice. I looked up and saw him kneeling on the ground to be at the same level as me. He opened his arms out to be and instantly jumped in them and clung for dear life. Dad instantly responded by wrapping his arms tightly around me, stroking my hair and every once and while my back. With the adrenaline worn off my emotions finally caught up with me and I finally burst. I started sobbing, my whole body shaking and I started gasping for air again. “Oh butterbean, you're ok now. It's all over. Take some deep breaths for me.” my dad said the calmest he could while repeating the soothing motions. I could tell he was trying to hide how upset he also is by the shakiness in his voice and I could feel tears drip into my hair. “Are you hurt?” He asked me gently and I shook my head in response.

“M-mom,” I was able to stutter out once calmed down enough “she told me to r-run….then there was a gunshot...I don't know if she’s-” I wasn't able to finish the sentence as I started to cry again. Dad shushed me and continued to keep telling me it's going to be ok…..I’m trying to believe him but I don't know if I can.

»»————-　★　————-««

Eleven Months Later………

It’s dad's homecoming night. He’s returning from an undercover case he was on, I haven't seen him in eleven months and haven't talked to him in three. August and I started living at our grandparents house and Uncle Liam moved in shortly after to help take care of us. Uncle Liam and I got closer as he became my rock during dad’s absence. The whole family and dad’s old ranger partner, now chief, are waiting outside for dad to arrive home. He’s late of course, I am not even surprised at this point, and i’m starting to think he is not even going to show up at this point.

“Let’s just go inside” I told August

“He’s coming” August responded, looking down the road hoping for dad’s truck to pull in. I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, absolutely! Neither hell or high water could keep him away.” I said sarcastically. Then a vehicle pulls up onto the road leading to the house. My heart sped up and I got excited at the sight, I was finally about to see my dad again. That excitement fell when I realized its not dad’s truck but its Stan Morrison’s.

We greeted Stan and all went inside to have dinner. I was quiet for most of the night, not that anyone really paid attention to me. There wasn't really much for me to talk about since this dinner was supposed to be for dad, which he falled to show up too completely. After dinner I just went into my room while the rest of the adults talked. I started drawing in my sketchbook, nothing too detailed I just like doodling really. Tears were pressing against my eyes, I was so excited to see him again but when didn't show up at all I was heart broken. A knock at my door made me quickly wipe my eyes. The door opened to reveal Uncle Liam, he gave me a small smile.

“How are you holding up Y/N/N?” he asked. I just shrugged my shoulders and continued to look at my doodles. “You know I need a better response than that.” He said while walking further into my room and sitting down on the edge of my bed.

“I just...miss him you know? I haven’t seen him so long. I wish he never took that stupid case.” I said.

“Your dad is saving people when he’s on a case, but I understand that you miss him….and that you're mad at him too.” he told me giving a reassuring smile

“Was it that obvious?” I laughed a little and he nodded smiling.

“Get some rest ok. You have school tomorrow.” He told me, walking towards the door but I stopped him before he could leave.

“Do you think he’s mad at me?” I asked.

“Y/N, we talked about this.” he sighed

“ I know Uncle Liam, it's just...think about it, if I went back when the gunshot went off maybe I could have saved mom?” I mumbled.

“The key word in that sentence is maybe. I told you where the wound was there was an unlikely chance you could have saved her. And if you went back there was a more likely chance you would have gotten shot too.” He reassured you.

“Don't tell me you don't think that if mom was alive, dad wouldn't have been on a case for this long” I snapped. “I should have done something! But I didn't!” I cried. Liam quickly sat on the bed next to me and pulled me into a hug.

“Listen here Y/N, you did the right thing. I know you don't think so but you did but trust me when I tell you, you did everything right. You listen to your mom’s instructions and isn't that your dad’s rule anyway? ‘Always listen to mom’?” he comforted and I nodded at his question.

“I just want him here” you sobbed.

“Me too, me too.” he agreed, rubbing your back comfortably.

PILOT PART 2

#jared paladecki #cordell walker #walker #cw walker #walker texas ranger #supernatural #walker fan fiction #genevieve padalecki #Cordell x daughter!reader #ddm #micki ramirez #daughter reader

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cycat4077 · 3 years

Text

When the Time is Right

Summary: Is it time to take your relationship to the next level? Set at the start of S18 - roughly August 2016. Pairing: Sonny x Reader Warnings: Mature themes...of the NSFW variety, some cussing, fluff, feels, etc. Words: 1927 AO3 here

Technically part 12 in the Changes verse, but can act as a stand-alone.

Consider this a Valentine’s day themed thingy even though it’s set in August 🥰

"It's weird I guess," you say in between sips of tea, "how some parts of our relationship have happened so quickly, like meeting his parents right away, while other parts of it aren't rushed at all. For instance, the two of us were complete idiots and it took a couple of months to formally say ‘I love you’." The admission makes you chuckle, but as you look up from your drink, the devious grin pasted across your friend’s face tells you that she’s hung up on one small detail.

"You guys haven't done it yet, have you?" blurts Sydney, sitting wide-eyed across from you on her sofa.

You're normally a pretty private person so you can't help it when your cheeks start to burn, effectively giving away your secret.

"You haven't!" she exclaims, eagerly setting down her teacup, ready for details.

"Syd!"

The blonde raises her arms in mock defense. "Hey, hey! There's nothing wrong with it but it's kind of a rarity to not be in each other's pants by now!"

You grow even more self-conscious, tracing the rim of your mug handle as a distraction.

"Listen,” Sydney begins sternly, “he's super nice to you and charming and sweet, so I just wanna make sure he's not -"

But you interrupt her before she can make the accusation. "Sonny isn't like that," you state, adopting a firm tone of your own. "We just haven't gotten there yet...there's been no rush. I feel totally comfortable around Sonny and he's never once made me feel like we should be doing anything."

"Good," she asserts. "I just want to make sure you're not being played because the good ones are really hard to find."

Ever since you met in college, Sydney has been fiercely protective of you, and clearly that side of her is something that's never changed. Despite her thirst for details, you also know that you can truly trust her so you suppose there's no harm in opening up a little. "I mean, it's not like I haven't thought about it,” you confess sheepishly. “I went on the pill not long after we started dating because you never know, but our lives have been so busy and messy. Especially this summer. We've had our ups and downs - some beyond our control and some were issues that we've worked out together. I really feel like we've come out of it stronger and the more we experience together, the more I’m certain that Sonny is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Sydney cracks a goofy smile.

"Yeah, yeah. Corny. I know," you wave dismissively, "but I can't help loving him more and more each day. Our relationship is so special to me and personally, sex is one of the most intimate things a couple can do. It's about love. So, waiting for the right time isn't a big deal. If anything, it will just bring us that much closer."

"Girl, you're crazy lucky!” chimes Sydney, affectionately. "And there's nothing wrong with waiting to bang. You remember me from back in the day and how I had my fair share of ‘promiscuous encounters’. Actually, with Geoff..." Sydney's eyes narrow as she recollects her ex, "fuck, do I wish we had waited! He said all the right things and made all the right gestures. Our relationship moved so fast! We hit the milestones at a hundred miles per hour…and I believed it! But then the cheating started. When I found out - and I still feel this way sometimes - when I think about having slept with him, I feel so dirty and cheap." She ducks her head and you can tell that the wound still smarts.

"You can't blame yourself for his behavior!" you rationalize, wishing your friend wouldn't be so hard on herself.

"I know! And I don't, but it's that shame and embarrassment of knowing I was so foolish to believe there was love there. Even the thought of having given myself over to him in that way makes me wanna upchuck. Hell, those one-night stands where the guy dips out as soon as he finishes don't feel as cheap or degrading. So, hon, there's nothing wrong with the pace you're moving at. Believe me. Maybe if I had waited longer with Geoff, his true colours would have shone through earlier..."

"It's in the past, Syd," you reason, "and you know what is special about that? It goes to show you how much you can trust and love someone. And even though Geoff was a total asshole, there's gonna be a guy out there for you someday who will be worthy of all that."

Sydney smiles despite herself. "You're a total sap, you know that, right?" You grin at her and nod proudly. "But I love ya for it." She then leans across the sofa and gives you a grateful hug. Parting, Sydney continues. "You'll know when the time is right," she reassures you. "You may talk about it or it may just happen, but you and Sonny are the mushiest, most in-love couple I've ever seen, so I know you'll be just fine."

-x-

Nights in with Sonny are the best. Lately you both had been so busy. Sonny was working overtime on top of double shifts, while you were occupied with perfecting your new course curriculum before the semester started.

When the two of you were finally able to have an evening off, you'd find something to eat and just lounge on the couch; maybe pop in a movie and sit snuggled up together. You didn't need to be doing anything in particular to enjoy each other's company.

Sometimes though, those cozy moments strayed towards other forms of physical affection. To put it in simple terms: you’d make out…And tonight happened to be no different.

"This movie's dumb," grumbles Sonny, leaning his head on the back of the sofa.

"Yep," you agree, staring blankly at the tv screen.

Sonny then turns his face towards you, offering a cheeky grin. "At least tha company's good."

You flop yours in his direction. "I suppoooose so," you tease with a roll of your eyes.

Sonny pouts and you laugh at how ridiculous he looks. When his put-on expression doesn't crack, you decide it's time to steer the evening towards a more preferable form of entertainment. "Y'know, if you don't stop making that face, I'm gonna have to wipe it off you myself." There's a deliberate hint of suggestion in your voice and you bite your lip to make your intentions crystal clear.

With a gleam in his eye, Sonny playfully deepens the curl of his frown which obviously leaves you with no choice but to reach out, nab his jaw and pull him to your lips. His arm encircles you and his hand presses against your back to coax you near. The quick peck blossoms into several more deep and passionate kisses; the two of you barely able to spare a breath in between.

As things continue to heat up you climb over and straddle Sonny’s lap. To your delight, this move elicits an 'Mmm!' of pleasant surprise from the Italian detective’s throat. Your hair falls over your shoulder as you peer down into his swirling blue eyes. "Hi," you grin quietly.

Sonny stares up at you in wonder. His hands fix themselves to the small of your waist. "Hey," he returns softly as the corners of his mouth cradle a gentle smile.

You hold his gaze a moment longer, soaking in the view. You're still in awe that the man before you is all yours, but as you lean down to capture his lips, you're reassured of your reality. Sonny mirrors your every move, matching your passion. The kisses grow even more heated. Your fingertips work at his silver temples while Sonny's hands burn up your skin where they've snuck themselves beneath your shirt. A gentle but firm squeeze is all it takes for your hips to involuntarily grind down against his.

Suddenly, Sonny raises your bum off of his lap. "What's wrong?" you ask with worry.

He shuts his eyes reluctantly before opening them to you, brow furrowed and expression vulnerable. "It's just...well, if we keep this up..." He winces and his cheeks turn pink.

You shift your knees on the sofa to steady yourself and raise your own eyebrows in understanding. "Oh," you say, growing quiet and nervous. The two of you never did get around to a discussion on taking things further, which left you to wonder where Sonny stood on the matter.

Ever the gentleman, he delicately tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, "I just don't know if we're ready for...this."

"Babe," you sit back on his thighs, rubbing your palms soothingly along his shoulders. "Do you want to wait? I know your beliefs are a little firmer than mine."

"Nuh-no! It's not that!" he exclaims. "I just don't wanna move too fast for you!" Sonny too, turns timid as he speaks.

You can't help but smile down at him. What had you done to deserve such a sweetheart? You recall the conversation with Sydney from a couple weeks ago. She was right.

"I believe in love," you breathe, running your thumb tenderly along his cheek, "and I love you more than anything."

"I love you too, doll," echoes Sonny, the confidence returning to his voice.

You kiss him again. It's long and lingering, reigniting the flame between you. Sonny draws you to his chest and you link your arms behind his neck. "I want this, if you do," you speak in a soft voice.

"I want this too. I want you...so much." The reply is almost a whisper, his lips mere inches from your own.

Emboldened, you withdraw and stand up, your skin tingling where his fingers brush along your waist. Never breaking eye contact, you reach out your hand. Sonny accepts and you lead him to the bedroom.

-x-

The next morning you awake to orange licks of early sunlight flickering through the blinds. Sonny's arm surrounds you, clutching you to his bare chest. His heavy breathing sounds beside your ear and you think it impossible for life to be any more perfect. You snuggle your naked form closer into his, wishing to stay in his warm embrace forever.

Then Sonny begins to stir. "Mornin' beautiful," he says, Staten Island accent heavy with sleep.

"Morning," you turn over in his arms to place a kiss at the corner of his mouth.

He releases you, propping his head up on an elbow. "Last night was..."

"Wow," you finish with a flirtatious grin.

Sonny sighs dreamily, "yeah." He then takes a finger and beings tracing light circles over your exposed shoulder. "Kinda wish we'd done that sooner." His tone is husky but his eyes are filled with affection.

"We've got our whole lives ahead of us, Sonny," you offer before delicately sweeping a piece of his hair away from his forehead.

You watch his blue eyes soften and crinkle at the corners. Dimples form from his smile. But instead of answering, he simply leans forward and kisses you.

Last night wasn't just physical; you found a whole new connection with Sonny. One deeply rooted in attraction but brought to life and nurtured by love. It was like you were completely in synch, giving and taking from one another wholly and completely. And, as you once again melt into his kiss, you know that everything had worked out just as it was meant to be.

---

Part 13 here!

A/N: I really love this fic. I've had it in my drafts for a long time and I really wanted to find the perfect place to add it into the series. I'm no expert but it kind of ticks me off how the media portrays physical relationships to be the holy grail...like it's a make or break type thing or that people need to be physical to fall in love. So, I tend to gravitate towards character-couples who do the opposite...and to me, Sonny seems like the type who values an emotional connection over a purely physical one. Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed reading this fic! The last paragraph is one of my favorite things I’ve ever written!

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny carisi x you #sonnyshine of my life #law and order svu #svu fanfiction #The Changes verse #my fanfic #changes #SVU S18

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teaspoon-full-of-sugar · 4 years

Text

tangled up in blue

pairing: harry styles x plus size!reader

warnings: fluff, comfort, mentions of anxiety, kinda angsty

word count: 4.4k

synopsis: harry has a rude encounter with a fan

author’s note: sorry for another rushed ending, but other than that, i hope you enjoy xx all the love

masterlist

—

It’s his first day off in weeks, and he is taking full advantage of it. After such a stressful few months, he wants nothing more than to spend this short break with his girlfriend.

It’s two in the afternoon before he gets out of bed, and that’s only because the weak little grumbling in his stomach became too much to ignore. With no real food in the house, Y/N called in an order to their regular place, as long as he is the one who picks it up.

He decides to walk, since the restaurant is only a few blocks away from his home, but when he catches a couple paps trying to get pictures a little ways down the road, he knew he should have driven. He’s glad Y/N stayed home, since photos of her rarely get out, and he knows that she wouldn’t have been comfortable with it.

He sighs, trying to not let them ruin his first relaxing day in a while, but it’s hard. Harry likes his privacy, and sadly, he chose the wrong career. He would never say that he hates what he does. He loves being able to bring joy and kindness to people who really need it, even if it is just for a couple of minutes.

He just wishes he could have some more space and privacy and freedom to do his own thing. He wishes he could go out on his day off without being stopped or having people trying (and failing) to take a sneaky picture of him, which, again, is an absolute invasion of his privacy.

He would never snap at anyone, well, no one except the paparazzi, not only because he was taught early on that he shouldn’t do that, but also because he wasn’t that type of person. While he still may not be used to the significance of his stardom, he still understands that he is a role model to many people, and he needs to act as such.

“I have an order to pick up,” he says to the hostess, who just stares at him for a second, jaw dropped slightly. It’s not the usual woman who gives him his orders, so he gives her a moment. She bounces back rather quickly.

“Uh, what’s the name?” She asks, trying not to draw any unwanted attention toward him, which he appreciates.

“Y/N.”

She taps away at the register, tells him the total, and he pays.

“I’ll go check and see if your order’s done. If not, it should be just a couple of minutes.”

“No problem.” He smiles.

“Harry?”

He turns to see a nervous looking girl with a bright tee knotted around her middle and a pretty pearl necklace tight around her neck. She brushes a tuft of brown hair over her shoulder, fiddling with her fingers. She’s only a little shorter than him, but she still doesn’t meet his eye.

“C-could I get a picture?”

He honestly doesn’t want to.

He knows that one photo will lead to dozens more, and he just wants to get his food, go home, and cuddle up with Y/N, but she looks sweet, and the hopeful look in her eyes makes him cave.

“Sure,” he says weakly, taking a quick photo.

“How’s Y/N?” The girl asks when she puts her phone away, desperate for a little more time with him. A beaming smile takes over his features, and he sits on a stool at the bar, feet tucking behind the bottom bars. It’s not very often he gets asked about her, but whenever he does, he takes full advantage of it; that is, of course, if the person seems genuinely interested and not just asking him for the sake of conversation.

The public was a little less than understanding or supportive of their relationship when it was, forcibly, made known. Being friends and neighbors since childhood, Y/N has been a present figure in the early parts of his life. They grew further and further apart after he left for The X Factor, to the point where they didn’t even speak to each other. It was tough because she wanted absolutely nothing to do with the life that he led, and he couldn’t just give up everything he worked so hard toward.

They reconnected some years ago when he was visiting home, and she had a break from uni. It was a slow build to what it is today, mostly because Y/N was hesitant about everything that came with being with him, like distance between them, negative publicity, and, of course, his fans, but, as she always said, he made everything worth it.

When their relationship was leaked in the press, they had to prematurely address the rumors. Not that Harry is embarrassed or ashamed of her, quite the opposite, really, but he just had one too many relationships fall apart due to the pressure the media put on them. He didn’t want to put Y/N through that; he didn’t want to see her to realize that, perhaps, he wasn’t worth the negative attention.

“She’s great,” he says. “We’re gonna go hiking later this evening, hopefully get a good view of the sunset.”

“That’s nice,” she smiles, happy that he’s happy, and he breathes out a sigh of relief. It’s refreshing to meet someone who is actually

His smile fades when a girl behind him scoffs.

“That’s surprising.”

He wants to believe that she’s not commenting on his conversation, but he knows better than anyone that she’s listening in; hell, he could feel the eyes of everyone in the diner the second he stepped inside, but just because he’s been doing this for years doesn’t mean that he’s not immune to the voices and the stares. He’s gotten pretty good at being able to ignore them, and he tries his best to do the same with her.

The brunette, who also seems to have noticed the girl behind him, flushes red, pity apparent on her features. He gives her an uncomfortable, closed mouth smile, trying to focus back on their own conversation.

“I mean, have you seen her?” The girl behind him continues, laughing lightly.

It makes his chest ache, anger settling deep in his stomach, burning and vengeful. Never has anyone made such blatant comments about her; they normally say that sort of stuff behind the safety of a screen and certainly not right in front of him. He knows what people say about his love. They make negative comments every little thing about her, the biggest one being her weight, and he never says anything because Y/N thinks that it would make everything worse, but she’s not here to hold him back.

He turns to face the girls behind him. The one whose back is still facing toward him, leaned in close to the other, as though that’s enough to hide what she’s saying.

“I beg your pardon?”

They’re both young, but surely old enough to know better. One of the girls, with brown hair with a pink strip in the front, blanches when he catches her eye, an apologetic look on her face; she looks close to tears, even, stuttering hopelessly.

“Dee—”

“I didn’t expect him to be a chubby chaser.”

“Excuse me?”

The girl with bright red hair, Dee, he assumes, finally turns to face him, a shameless smirk on her face.

“I am so sorry,” the brunette begins, but her friend, fueled by desperation and spite, cocks her head to the side, chest puffing out beneath a “Treat People with Kindness” shirt, the rainbow colored words taunting him.

How ironic.

“I mean… am I wrong?” She asks, looking at him expectantly.

“How dare you?” He seethes, standing fully, towering over her seated figure. He knows he shouldn’t be giving her the slightest bit of attention. That’s exactly what she wants, to get a reaction out of him, and he’s playing into her game, but he honestly doesn’t care. A heated red paints his skin, trailing up from his neck to the tip of his nose. He can barely breathe, let alone speak clearly, frustration and anger choking him.

He struggles to find his voice, but when he does, he can’t stop them from spilling out, malice and disgust dripping with every word.

“I have never been so disappointed and ashamed in someone who claims to be a fan of mine. How can you wear that shirt while passing judgement on someone I love very much, who you have never seen or met? And I pray that you will never meet her because she doesn’t deserve such vile things being said about her.”

He turns to see the hostess with a large paper bag in a stunned silence, and he takes it from her wordlessly.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters to the sweet girl, ashamed that he snapped like he did, but she gives him a proud smile and moves, so he can leave.

—

Someone apparently recorded the encounter, and the video is trending on Twitter by the time he gets home. Jeff is the one who told him about it, sending him a link and a long message about how much of a PR nightmare it’s going to be. Especially when the reception is less than positive. While some think he was being too nice, others are saying that he shouldn’t have lashed out (their words, not his) at someone who is a fan and supports him, but Harry knows that there is no winning. Everyone always finds something to say about things that are clearly none of their business. He even saw a few comments about Y/N, how she should fight her own battles and not have Harry do them for her.

They make him feel nauseous.

“Hey, babe,” he says as he enters their apartment, Munchy, Y/N’s cat, weaving and purring between his legs. Whenever he gets home, he can feel the stresses of the day shrink to nothing, and he’s finally able to relax. A smile creeps over his face when he sees her, leaning against the counter with a mug of tea cupped in her hands. She hasn’t changed out of the boxers and the large yellow tee from that morning, but her hair is still wet from a shower, the scent of her fruity soap strong.

“Hey,” she says softly, and he leans in for a kiss, only for her to turn at the last moment, lips unfortunately pressing to her cheek. She takes the bag from him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she says, tugging the takeaway boxes from the bag, not even offering him a glance.

He knows that she’ll tell him what’s really wrong in her own due time, so he can’t push her; that makes it worse for everyone involved. However, he has gotten pretty good at coaxing it out of her. All it takes is a little patience and affection, and she’s putty in his hands.

He presses kisses to her temple, tracing his lips down the length of her tender skin to the shell of her ear, nibbling playfully. He dips his hand beneath her shirt, feeling her stomach tense beneath his touch. After such an exhausting day, he just wants to be with her, feel her warmth and love. He’s never really been able to find comfort or safety in any of his past lovers, and when he found that in Y/N, he never misses an opportunity to shower her with affection, teasing and biting at her skin. He just wants to melt and forget about his problems, to just be there, in the present, with her.

His little bubble is popped when she shoves his hand away, probably harder than she really meant to, but it hurts him, nonetheless. She turns and gives him a weak little smile, her eyes, glassy and unable to meet his gaze. She looks like a shell, nervous and empty, and he knows exactly why she’s acting the way she is. She must have seen the video and probably the nasty comments people left about her.

“Baby—”

“Let’s eat, yeah?” She changes the subject, pulling out some silverware from the drawer. “This one mine?”

“Yeah, your usual,” he says softly.

They eat in an awkward silence, old sitcom reruns playing in the background, tension thick in the air. He can’t focus on anything but her breaths, shaky and shallow with anxiety. He knows that this entire situation is weighing heavily on her mind, and he needs to get everything off his chest. He wants to pull her into his arms, stroke her hair, and tell her to not listen to anything anyone says, that she’s it for him.

It's going to happen, all in due time; he’ll get nowhere if he doesn’t go at her pace.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” she mutters suddenly, picking at her food. “Not that I don’t appreciate it, but I don’t want you putting your career at stake by standing up for me.”

He understands; he knows what it feels like to constantly be worried about what other people think, to have it impact every single decision you make. He’s mulled over everything he’s done for the past decade, but, at the same time, he’s her boyfriend first. He could honestly give a damn about his public image if it meant he had to stand by a listen to people say those nasty things about her.

“You would do the same for me,” he says, and she sighs.

“It’s not the same thing.”

“I don’t understand why we're arguing about this,” he says abruptly, placing his food onto the side table and turning fully toward her.

“I’m not—” She breathes out quickly, standing up. She tugs her clothes down, loosening them, and she crosses her arms, feeling vulnerable for some reason. Harry has never passed any judgement to her for the way she looked, knowing full well that she’s struggled with her weight her entire life, but this entire situation is making her feel insecure and weak and anxious. She feels like he is going to think that she’s being too sensitive about it, melodramatic about the severity of their comments.

“I’m not trying to start an argument. I just don’t think you understand that there’s going to be a lot of backlash for this.”

She’s embarrassed that he even needs to stand up for her. He should be with someone who is used to being in the spotlight, and, most importantly, he deserves to be able to go out with someone without people commenting or staring. He shouldn’t be with someone who makes people wonder why he’s with her, of all people.

It’s not only her physical appearance that people comment on; she’s seen fans talk about how Harry doesn’t go out anymore, how she is never present at any concerts or any other special events, even though they don’t know she has severe social anxiety and a career that keeps her from being with him all the time. She truly wishes she could be all of those things for him, but she can’t, and that’s what breaks her heart the most.

Harry deserves nothing less than the world, and he settled for her.

And with everyone else in the world questioning why he chose her, of all people, why wouldn’t he think the same?

“There would be even more backlash if I had just ignored it, right?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she says, “but, it’s not like it’s going to stop people from saying—”

She can’t even say it, their all too familiar words leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. No matter how many times Harry tells her to pay no mind to their comments, she can’t help it. She truly hates how much other people’s opinions about her impact her, with paralyzing fear and doubt filtering through her thoughts on a daily basis, but she can’t help it.

“Saying what?”

“You know,” she whimpers, eyes glassy. “No matter what you do, there will always be people who say that I don’t deserve you. There will always be people out there who think I’m ugly o-or too fat for you and—” She chokes on her words, tears finally breaking through. A weak sob leaves her lips, faint and broken. “It’s not like it’s not true, so there’s no point in fighting it if it’s going to ruin your reputation.”

She starts to pace, one hand tucking into the curve of her waist while the other pinches the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache forming.

“Whoa, hey, okay,” he stutters, standing. He holds onto her arms, hands rubbing over her cool skin, trying to comfort her, but she weakly pushes him away again, rubbing her nose. She pulls at the bottom of her shirt and wipes away her tears, leaving it wrinkled and wet. She sniffles, struggling to keep the panic from growing any further in her chest, heart racing painfully.

She moves into their bedroom, and he follows close behind, their food long forgotten as she tries to control her breathing.

“What’s this really about?” He asks. She pauses, her shoulders visibly sinking, and she sits on the foot of the bed, hooking her feet on the footboard. She cradles legs to her chest and tugs her shirt over them, forehead pressed against her knees.

She’s exhausted at this point. Ever since she saw the video and the comments, she’s been torn. She’s grateful that Harry said something; it made her hopeful that maybe it would make them stop, even if it was for only a day, but when she saw people actually defending the girl who said those terrible things about her, all of that pride was pulled away, leaving nothing behind other than debilitating anxiety and bone-chilling fear.

She just wants the day to be over, as if that will make everything go away.

She knows that they need to talk about it, but she’s afraid. She’s afraid of what this conversation could lead to; he could realize that he doesn’t want to deal with everything anymore or that he doesn’t want to deal with the strain that it puts on his relationship with the public.

The bed shifts as he kneels beside her, hand pressing against the small of her back.

“Y/N, please, don’t shut me out,” he whispers. She whimpers when he kisses her temple, an attempt at trying to ease her out of this miserable hole she’s dug for herself. She finally looks up at him with swollen, burning eyes, tears threatening to fall.

“I just don’t want you to wake up one day and realize that I’m not worth all of this. You shouldn’t even need to say anything to people.”

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have to say anything to them, but that has absolutely nothing to do with you. I have to say things because of all of the judgmental people in the world, who body shame the woman that I love, a woman who they know absolutely nothing about.”

“I don’t want you to start believing them, and I just don’t want you to regret me.”

“Why would I ever regret you?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” She snaps, her lips quivering. “I’m not like the others.”

“That’s what I love about you.”

“I’m not cut out for this,” she cries.

Hurt passes over his features, and the words die on his tongue. A pinch of fear starts in his stomach and spreads up to his heart, which races painfully, chills rushing through his spine.

“What are you saying?”

She doesn’t answer; she can’t. She didn’t mean for it to slip out. It’s usually just a passing thought when her insecurities come at full force. She’s never actually said it aloud, for fear of its repercussions. She doesn’t want to lose him. Even if she isn’t cut out for this sort of lifestyle, he is worth absolutely everything.

“Y/N,” he says, cupping her cheeks. He wipes away her tears with his thumbs, but more fall to replace the ones he tried to clear. He hates how much this has affected her, and he hates that it’s his fault, too. She holds onto his wrists, fingers trailing up and down his heated skin, from his calloused hands to his elbows, their gaze never breaking.

“I love you. Nothing anyone says will make me feel differently. Would you still love me if I gained a ton of weight or if I was just skin and bones?”

“Of course,” she says quickly.

“This is no different,” he smiles. “I do regret many things in my life. I regret some choices I’ve made, I regret things I’ve said, and I regret being selfish. But you?” He shakes his head. “You will never be one of my regrets. You are beautiful inside and out. You make me want to be better, you make me look forward to every new day, and you give me strength.”

Her heart swells at his words. Harry has always been a very emotive man when it came to her. He was never ashamed to let her know exactly how he felt, probably because of the years where he felt hopeless and couldn’t express himself fully. He leans in a little closer, his forehead resting against hers, and she can feel her worries tapering off with every shallow breath.

“My love, you have no idea what you do to me,” he whispers, rubbing his nose against hers. He brushes away her tears, leaving her skin sticky. “Not one fuckin’ clue about the nights where I wanted nothing more than to be just with you, to be able to see you and laugh with you. Remember the night before my audition? And I asked if I could kiss you because I’d never kissed anyone before, and I didn’t want to seem like an absolute dud.”

She nods.

She pondered over that night for years. He was rambling and nervous, but she didn’t hear anything after he asked if he could kiss her, her mind going completely blank. Of course, she said yes. She had a crush on him for years, how could she say no? Even if it was just once, if it was just one fleeting moment in her life, she held onto it with everything she could.

It was her first kiss, too, and she was so nervous with trembling hands and clammy skin. It seemed too good to be true: the boy she’s liked since as long as she could remember was going to kiss her; perhaps, there was hope for them after all.

When they pulled apart, his hair messy and cheeks rosy, she thought that he was going to kiss her again. From the look in his eyes, he seemed like he was completely enamored with her, at a loss for breath with a soft gaze, but he didn’t. Her mind was playing tricks on her because all he said was “thanks”, and he laid back down, on his side, not even facing her. The hope she felt was crushed. Then, he left the next morning, and they never spoke about it again. The memory of that night leaves her heart aching.

“Bullshit, all of it. I jus’ wanted to know how your lips would feel against mine, how soft and warm your body would feel. For months, I would think about that night, and I wished I could go back and tell you the truth, that I loved you. You have no idea how grateful I am to have you back in my life, to have you here, by my side, to hold and love.”

As she gazes into his eyes, she can feel the truth in his words, the dedication, and the pain, most of all.

He doesn’t want to lose her like he did all those years ago.

He felt the same during those years apart, hopelessly wandering into the arms of various lovers to try to replace what he felt for her. He’s spent nearly an entire decade, searching for that one person to fill the void in his heart that Y/N claimed when they were just kids, much like she had with him. He yearned for a person, who would support and loyalty him just as she had, but they never cared as deeply as he did, nor did they feel and love just as strongly as he did.

“I love you for everything you are, not just your heart or your mind but also your beautiful body, babylove. Don’t let anyone tell you any differently.”

His lips tease over hers, just barely touching before she finally catches his lips after such a painstakingly long moment of silence after his confession, and they both are overwhelmed with the feeling of absolute relief, like they’re finally able to breathe.

He guides her onto her back, his knee nestling between her legs, blue sheets bunched up around her waist. He gently eases his hand below her shirt, fingers faint on the soft and pliant skin. She combs her nails through his hair, scratching and teasing. Her body alive and heated beneath his touch, they melt into each other, forgetting everything wrong with the world and focusing solely on each other, the pinch of teeth biting lips and the rush of chills down her spine. He feels up her thighs, tender touch on her soft skin, but she pulls away from him, fingers still latched in his hair, hesitation clear on her features.

“Please,” he whispers. “Jus’ wanna make you feel good.” He kisses her beneath the curve of her jaw, the warmth of his breath leaving her heart racing. “Wanna make you feel loved, make you feel as beautiful as you are.”

There’s not many things Harry can find safety with. Since his life in the public eye, he’s had to make a lot of sacrifices. It’s difficult to find considerate strangers, safe refuges, and genuine friends, but he knows that he can always find solace with her, in their home, together, blanketed in warmth and tangled up in blue.

—

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #ellie writes #ellie writes fluff #ellie writes angst #gif not mine #credit to owner

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puffins-incorporated · 4 years

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All For One is the Father of Nana’s Son and Grandfather to Shigaraki

Before I get into the nitty gritty, I’d like to thank all the people who’s inboxes (and in one case dorm) I burst into to yell about this as I wrote it, and the people who proofread it (often overlapping). Your support has been greatly appreciated. This has been a theory I’ve been thinking about since chapter 235, and I’m happy to finally write it up. Based on dialogue, Star Wars, and similar physical features between the characters, I’ve come to believe that it is highly likely that All For One is the Father of Nana’s Son and Grandfather to Shigaraki.

Edit: it didn’t show up in the tags at first because of an external link for a source but that’s been fixed

Edit2: Added Part about AFO giving Shigaraki his surname!

Dialogue

The more I reread All Might’s final battle with All For One, the more one thing nags at me. Why (and how) does All For One know Nana’s full name (and also that cute smiling pose? Where did he learn about it?)? He doesn’t know the civilian name of All Might, despite saying directly to his face how much he loathes him. He also doesn’t know Gran Torino’s civilian name even though his surname is in his hero name, and Nana outright says his first name in All Might Rising.

Hell, he only barely recognizes him as “Shimura’s Friend..?”, despite him pretty much being the guy who grabbed All Might and got out of the fight. Why remember Nana Shimura’s full name and not the others?

Star Wars and Koseki/Family Records

It’s no secret that Horikoshi is a huge Star Wars fanboy. There are so many Star Wars references ranging from obscure to blatant to “the official sub and dub had to change it for copyright reasons”. Perhaps the most prominent reference to Star Wars is All For One. His life support mask and revealing of Shigaraki’s relationship to Nana is quite reminiscent of Darth Vader, no? When a Darth Vader reference appears, it is often in tandem with him. In the original trilogy, Obi-wan Kenobi tells Luke Skywalker that his father was killed by Darth Vader. We all know that’s a lie, though one could interpret it as true to a degree. With the rise of Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker could be said to have “died”. Through Gran Torino, we learned that Nana’s husband was killed. That’s it. That’s all we know. It’s possible that Nana lied about her husband dying literally. For all we know, her husband died the day she found out he was All For One. Adding on more Star Wars references, when talking over the outline for this with my friend, they noted how Nana and All For One as a couple could potentially mirror Padme and Anakin. In both examples, the latter (on the “dark side” or moving there pretty swiftly) killed the former. In any case, how could Nana cover up her husband’s death? Same way she hid her connection to her son. In the most recent chapter (281 at the time of this writing), we learned that Nana tinkered with the family records, known as Koseki. I had a difficult time getting information on these, but from my understanding, while they were relatively easy to get access to at one point, these days only family members are able to. Good thing, because according to this site (linked through tumblr) they contain “an individual’s full name; gender; birthdate and birthplace; parental relations (names of parents, relations to them, etc.); spousal relations (name of spouse, date of marriage, date of divorce, etc.); data related to the death of an individual (date, time, place of death); name of legal custodian or legal guardian; and data related to inheritance, such as the disinheritance of a presumed heir.” The same site also says “The information recorded in each family register is based on formal declarations made by citizens to their local government (municipality) at the time of a child’s birth, marriage, etc,” and that the information given to the municipalities is “submitted on a pro forma basis -there are cases in which an individual intentionally or negligently makes a false declaration’ that is subsequently incorporated as an entry in a family register,” lining up with Nana’s comment about tinkering with the family register.

Physical Similarities Between All For One, Kotaro, Shigaraki, and the First User of One For All

This is the part that got me started on this line of thinking. Over a year ago when chapter 235 was released, I realized that this shot of Kotaro looked… startlingly familiar.

(The anime version’s a little brighter than the scan)

Their angular features and rather defined noses were very similar, an oddity for a series with such a distinct cast of characters. In fact, the only characters with very similar features are usually related to one another (Mom genes are a joke for a reason). The BNHA discord I’m in agreed with me. Around a month later, I considered the possibility that the fact I’ve been drinking Nana/AFO juice practically since I joined the fandom may have influenced my judgement. So I sent two separate panels of Kotaro and AFO to a friend of mine. She’s not interested in BNHA, and the only context I gave to the panels was that they were BNHA panels I wanted her to look over. That was it. The conversation we had is screencapped below.

If people interested in BNHA and someone uninterested in BNHA could see it, then I was onto something. Recently, I remembered her response to the panels and that launched me into full theorist mode. Exceedingly late on August 25, I spent at least thirty minutes scouring the manga for panels of Kotaro and pre-injury All For One. looking for more physical similarities. And boy, did that search deliver.

Similar Profiles

Similarly Defined Noses

A friend even pointed out how, though it’s difficult to see with Kotaro due to a limited range of expressions, that All For One and Kotaro share a crinkle around the mouth. They’re correct.

You could even make a case that they look similarly broad shouldered as well.

This extends to Shigaraki as well, as in at least one panel in Volume 11, he’s drawn with a similarly defined nose.

All For One isn’t the only Shigaraki that Tomura Shigaraki bears resemblance too. It’s been said before that Shigaraki bears quite the resemblance to the first user of One for All, and it’s easy to see why.

Their hair is drawn in an eerily similar way. Their eyes too. Looking closely, I’m starting to think their noses look pretty similar too.

They also kind of look similar to All For One’s eyes (what’s visible of them) and nose too. While I can’t be certain, I’m willing to bet that if Horikoshi suddenly decided to draw All For One with longer hair (and show more of his face), he’d look quite similar to Shigaraki (and his younger brother) as well. People have speculated that Shigaraki is related to the first One For All user, and I agree. I believe that he’s his grand uncle, and I believe All For One is his paternal grandfather.

August 29 2020 Addition

I didn’t think to add this to the theory until after I posted so here’s the addition (which I’ll add to the main theory post later). Why did All For One give Shigaraki his surname? It could be argued that it’s a power play or something by replacing Nana’s surname with his own, but wouldn’t All For One take that opportunity to rub it in All Might’s face? Wouldn’t hearing “Oh yeah I also gave your master’s grandson a part of my name” after you found out he was her grandson from your enemy hurt like hell? You could write it off as a private middle finger but that doesn’t make much sense to me. All For One has the subtlety of a freight train when being petty. He could easily say it’s his name to anyone because he’s A) a minimum of a century old and B) known to have been born/raised during the time period when quirks were first sweeping the globe. Any records on him could have been lost/destroyed in the passing years or during the chaos. Hell, he could have destroyed them himself. It’s safe to say that there is no one alive but All For One and Shigaraki who knows the significance of the name “Shigaraki”. When the UA staff was researching Shigaraki Tomura and Kurogiri after the attack on the USJ, they concluded that both were using aliases.

While all we’re told outright is that they checked the quirk registry for the two, I’m inclined to believe that’s not all they did. Villains, for what seems to be the first time in history or awhile, attacked U.A. Highschool with murderous intent towards a teacher and his students. Said teacher also just so happens to be one of the greatest, if not the greatest hero of all time. There’s no way they’re just going to do a sweep through the quirk registry and call it a day. Yet they don’t find anything on the name “Shigaraki”. No one knows about this name, and he doesn’t say anything about it. All For One could have given any name to Shigaraki. So why his own? I don’t think it’s for one last middle finger to Nana - he’d make a huge show out of doing that to All Might. To me, I think it’s because they’re grandfather and grandson. Perhaps it was some twisted form of sentimentality? A twisted way of acknowledging a family member? It’s the only thing that makes sense.

#boku no hero academia #all for one #nana shimura #tomura shiragaki #kotaro shimura #tenko shimura #One For All #My Hero Academia #toshinori yagi #gran torino #bnha #theories #bnha theory #all might #torino sorahiko #bnha theories

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