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lucidlivi · 10 months

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Chosen For Pleasure (V)

Series Masterlist/Warnings

Taglist: @ladysparkles78 @suckitands33 @little-x-wolf @stoneyggirl2 @creative-writing92 @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @lessons-of-red @jamerlynn (if you would like to be added to the list please send me a message as it is easier for me to keep track that way!)

ROUGH JENSEN COMING UP.

J: do you have an answer for me?

: not yet.

****************************************************

J: it's been two days, I'm growing old here?

: here's something you've probably never been told before... be patient.

J: you're right, I've never been told that, I'm used to getting what I want... and I want this arrangement, and I want it with you.

: must get boring..

****************************************************

J: four days now, have you thought anymore about it?

I sighed reading Jensen's text.

He was persistent that's for sure.

I haven't seen him since he dropped me off the other day but he's been texting me ever since. He was used to getting everything he wanted, and something told me he's never had to pursue a woman before. I bit my lip before typing a reply.

: yeah I've thought about it, and it's been fun....

I waited for Jensen to reply but it never came.

I felt a little guilty about sending that. Of course I was joking. But he was going to have to work a little harder.

I sighed before grabbing my computer to work on the edits for next months pictures. Gray gave me a raise, appointing me the official senior editor for the magazine. I've been avoiding him at work when I can, still feeling slightly uncomfortable from our conversation a few days ago, although he hasn't said anything bizarre since.

Stella and Matt have been seeing each other everyday now so she's been more absent lately. She didn't pry too much about Jensen. She can just sense when things aren't okay with me.

I tried my best to continue editing but my mind was too distracted. A loud pounding on our door pulled me out of my trance. I hopped up off the floor, sauntering over to the it.

It was probably just Stella forgetting her key like always.

I opened the door, shocked to find Jensen standing on the other side. He pushed in running a hand over his chin, huffing in frustration.

"uh come in.'" I laughed.

He turned to me, a scolding but lustful look on his face.

"It's been fun really?" He asked approaching me.

I bit my lip smirking up at him.

Boy could I really push his buttons.

He leaned down whispering in my ear.

"Let me just remind you how fun it is."

Before I could respond Jensen pushed me up against the wall, his lips attacking my neck. He roughly sucked on a spot making a gasp escape my lips.

"is this fun?" He asked before kissing my jaw roughly.

His hands went under my shirt, practically ripping it away from my body.

I forgot how good he was at this.

I moaned, my hands finding the buttons of his dress shirt, hungrily undoing them. I slipped his shirt off, biting my lip at his toned chest. My bra was the next thing to go. He immediately kissed down to my breasts while his hands worked my leggings down my legs.

"are you having fun yet?" He growled.

"hmm not yet" I pushed.

I could see his jaw clench at my words.

He picked me up setting me on the counter before pushing me back flat. He ripped my underwear at the side causing them to fall away.

Fuck he was strong.

His head dipped down between my legs, his breath fanning over my heat.

"Jensen Please." I begged.

At my words he peppered kisses all around my core, using his tongue to enhance the pleasure. I found my hands make their way to his hair, tugging on the ends. Moans fell from my lips as he worked his tongue on me devouring me hungrily. He inserted two fingers, working them in and out roughly.

"is it fun now?"

As he said that he pushed his fingers in deeper making me omit a breathy moan.

"so fucking fun" I said between breaths.

Jensen stood up stripping his jeans and boxers. Without warning he picked me up wrapping my legs around his waist, lowering me on to him. I whimpered at the contact, forgetting how big he was.

He carried me over to the couch, laying us down.

He pulled out before slamming in to me roughly. My hands gripped his shoulders, nails digging in to his skin. His thrusts getting more rough with each snap of his hips. I could feel the anger rolling off of him as he groaned.

"fuck what are you doing to me?" Jensen questions as his thrusts start to become sloppy signifying he's close to his release.

"Jensen please." I panted nearing my release as well.

A few more snaps of his hips had Jensen and I both exploding with pleasure. He collapses on top of me, laying his head on my chest, trying to slow his breathing. I put my hands in his hair absentmindedly playing with it.

"I meant it" He said glancing up at me.

I gave him a confused look.

"what the hell are you doing to me?" He asked.

"making you work for it." I said biting my lip.

He sighed bringing his head back down to rest on my chest.

"why don't you kiss on the lips?" I asked him.

He shifted uncomfortably before raising his head again.

"it's uh an intimacy thing for me." He said simply without explanation.

"you have kissed someone before though right?"

"yes, one person."

"and..?" I pushed trying to get him to elaborate.

He was quiet for a minute.

"I uh should get going." He said pushing off of me and standing up.

I quickly sat up too.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." I said biting my lip.

Jensen was a private guy, I quickly figured out he didn't let many people in on what goes on in his head. He was closed off emotionally. I felt bad for pushing him, but I was trying hard to understand why he was the way that he was.

"It's not because of that." He assured running his hand down my cheek.

"but you don't want to talk about it."

"no I don't." He said sternly.

He grabbed his boxers and jeans pulling them back over his thick thighs.

"okay fine, we don't have to, but that doesn't mean you have to leave.. you could stay the night?" I questioned hopeful.

Jensen had something about him that made me want him around, even if this meant a little more to me than it did to him.

"I told you, I don't sleep with anyone."

It was like as soon as we took one step forward we took two steps back at the same time.

"but I'll be around to get you tomorrow for Jared's dinner." He said finishing the buttons on his shirt.

"wait you want me to go?"

"he invited you didn't he." Jensen said leaning over to place a kiss on my forehead.

I bit my lip nodding while watching him walk to the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He said giving me a small smile before walking out.

I groaned throwing my head back against the sofa.

What the hell did I get myself in to?

One minute Jensen was amazing, and the next he could be completely closed off.

I heard my phone ringing from the end table. I picked it up seeing mom flashing on the screen. I hadn't talked to her since everything with Jensen started, being so preoccupied, I neglected her.

"hey mama, sorry I've been preoccupied." I said answering.

I just needed to hear her voice.

"I've heard you got a new friend?" She questioned.

"how'd you... Stella?"

"she actually picks up the phone when I call, but I want to let you know I'm happy for you, although I would've much rather heard it from you." She said cheerily.

"I'm sorry mama." I said feeling the emotions wash over me.

I could feel the tears brim around my eyes. My emotions were on overload. I was so confused about how I felt.

"he is making you happy isn't he darling?"

"yeah mama, it's just complicated." I said wiping a stray tear that escaped.

"love is never easy baby." she comforted.

I missed her voice, her soothing words.

"I miss you mama."

"well you know you're always welcome here baby, that's actually what I was calling you about, I'd like you to come out to California, there's uh somebody I want you to meet."

"somebody to meet?" I inquired.

"Richard." she spoke softly.

"you met someone?" I beamed happy for her.

It had been a long time since she seemed this happy. Dad took a big piece of her with him when he died.

"at the country club, he's uh really good for me, and I wanted you to meet him."

"I'd be happy to mom, how about this weekend?"

"it's a date! just remember my love, you're amazing, and if this guy is right for you, things will work out, and if he's not well you owe it to yourself to take care of you." she said going in to mom mode.

"I love you mama, I can't wait to meet Richard."

"I love you too baby."

...........................................................................................

I sighed fixing my hair in the mirror. Jensen would be here any minute to pick me up and I was a nervous wreck. I was going to be in Jared Padalecki's house with some of the cast from Supernatural. I groaned, as I couldn't get this piece of my hair to lay just right.

"need some help with that?" Stella asked me standing in the doorway to the bathroom.

"please." I pouted.

she came over fixing my part in my hair, laying the pieces flat.

"there, now some lipgloss and you'll be good to go." she said uncapping her favorite gloss, swiping it on my lips.

"thanks, Stell" I whispered pulling her in for a hug.

"of course, it's not everyday my best friend gets to hang out with a bunch of celebrities." she smirked.

"I'm so nervous I think I'm going to be sick." I whispered looking at my reflection in the mirror.

"I mean I could totally go in your place, Jared is a total snack." Stella said laughing.

"hmm too bad he's married, and you're taken." I said joining in her laughter.

our doorbell rang, signaling Jensen had arrived. I could feel the nerves creeping up again.

"relax, everything will be fine." Stella whispered pushing me towards the door.

I opened it, seeing Jensen in a dress shirt and jeans. He took in my appearance giving me a smile.

"ready to go?"

"uh not really, but yeah." I said laughing.

Jensen grabbed my hand, offering Stella a quick wave. He of course brought the bright red ferrari. He opened the door for me allowing me to slip in.

"so when you said some of the cast of supernatural will be there, how many are we talking?" I asked nervously fidgeting.

"just me, Jared, Misha, both Mark's Jeff, Richard, and Genevieve of course. He shrugged.

"and who do they think I am?" I questioned, unsure of what I should introduce myself as.

"my date."

I couldn't fight the smile that made its way on to my face.

It was quite the drive to Jared's place but it was peaceful. I felt the nerves calm but immediately resurface as we pulled in to his driveway. His house was beautiful, nowhere as big as Jensen's but beautiful nevertheless.

"are you sure I should be going in there?" I asked nervously fidgeting.

I wasn't sure I belonged at this get together.

"relax, we're just regular people." Jensen said getting out of the car.

"believe me there's nothing regular about you." I whispered under my breath.

I hesitantly got out of the car meeting Jensen's side. He grabbed my hand intertwining our fingers and giving my hand a squeeze. It did calm my nerves a bit. Jared met us at the door followed by his wife.

"was worried you forgot about me again." Jared joked hugging Jensen.

"(y/n), nice to see you again." Jared said surprising me with a hug.

"how are you Jensen?" Genevieve asked hugging him.

"and you must be (y/n), I'm Genevieve, it's lovely to meet you." she said smiling and giving me a hug too.

she was so sweet, no wonder the fans loved her.

"come on in, the rest of guys are already here." Jared said smiling.

I put on a brave face masking my nerves. Jensen was met with hugs by each of his former cast mates. I stood off to the side.

okay I definitely didn't belong here.

"and who's this pretty young thing?"

"this is (y/n), my date." Jensen introduced.

"what's wrong with her? darling don't you know this man's a dumbass?"

I choked back a laugh as Jensen rolled his eyes.

"I'm Jeffery, you can call me Jeff." He introduced, placing a kiss to my hand.

Of course I already knew who he was, I didn't want to come off as creepy though.

"nice to meet you." I smiled.

"can I just say you have a beautiful smile." He complimented.

I could see Jensen roll his eyes again.

"alright, we're good here Jeff." Jensen said grabbing my hand and pulling me away from him.

I laughed looking back at Jeff to see him smirking.

"you know he's just trying to get under your skin right?" I asked glancing up at Jensen.

"yeah well it's working.." he huffed.."come on I want you to meet Misha."

I made my way around talking to each of the guys there. Misha, Jared, and Jeff were my favorite by far, the way they teased Jensen made me laugh. I was definitely more calm now.

Jensen was right they were just regular people at the end of the day. I was sipping on a glass of wine while Misha and Jared teased Jensen some more.

"hey (y/n), could you give me some help with something quickly?" Genevieve asked from the kitchen.

Jensen gave me a wary look as I walked to her.

"of course how can I help."

"could you help me set the table for dinner?" she asked sweetly.

"I'd love too."

I grabbed some plates and silverware starting to set them out on the table.

"It's so refreshing to see Jensen bring somebody around, he never really does." she said setting glasses filled with water and wine glasses on the table.

Wow. I felt my pulse increase, the heat go to my cheeks.

"really, never?" I asked still in shock.

"he's a complex guy." she said laughing.

"you can say that again." I said laughing too.

our laughter quieted down, our focus going back to setting the table.

"but he's a good guy, yah know underneath all that hostility and complexity." she spoke up.

I nodded my head agreeing with her. I've seen it myself. It's just pulling it out of him is the hard part.

"and you must be pretty special for him to bring you around." she added.

I bit my lip blushing as we finished setting the table. I was about to respond when Jensen and Jared walked in the dining room.

"we heard laughing, what are you plotting?" Jared asked wrapping his arms around Gen, kissing her lips.

Jensen grabbed my hand once again intertwining our fingers.

"no plotting, I was just telling (y/n) how refreshing it is to see Jensen with a woman, we haven't since.." Genevieve started but Jared quickly cut her off.

"I'm starving baby, dinner ready yet?" He asked sneaking a glance at Jensen, but of course I saw it.

"uh yeah, everyone have a seat." she called.

I couldn't help the uneasy feeling that washed over me. Jensen clearly didn't want me to know about his past. The question was why? Also did everyone in the room know but me? Jensen and I took our seats, I dropped his hand, bringing both hands to my lap.

"problem?" Jensen whispered in my ear.

"not at all." I lied easily.

Jensen looked as if he didn't believe me. He instead placed a hand on my knee slowly sliding it up under my dress to my thigh.

"so (y/n), what do you do?" Misha asked taking a bite of his salmon Gen had prepared.

"I'm a photographer, and now senior editor for a magazine." I said smiling as I nibbled on the asparagus.

"ooh so you can totally help me with my social media game." Genevieve said laughing.

"yeah I would be happy to."

"so Jensen said you lived in Laredo, do you live there with your family?" Misha asked a follow up question.

"uh no, I live with my roommate Stella. My dad passed away when I was a little girl, and my mom lives in California. I'm actually planning on going out this weekend to see her.” I said giving him a smile.

I could feel Jensen's grip on my thigh get tighter. Dinner conversation was thankfully deflected away from me. I noticed that Jensen was unnaturally quiet for the rest of the meal.

"problem?" I whispered in his ear, in the same tone he'd taken with me earlier.

He only squeezed my thigh as a response, listening to Mark Sheppard who was telling a story.

"who's ready for dessert?" Genevieve asked when Mark was done with his story.

"would you please excuse us for a second?" Jensen asked standing up and grabbing my hand to pull me up.

I allowed him to pull me out of the house in to the driveway. He started walking down the dirt path pulling me with him quickly.

"Jensen slow down, I can't go that fast in these shoes." I said trying my best not to trip over my feet.

Jensen picked me up throwing me over his shoulder. I gasped as he continued to walk down the path. Once we were away from the house he set me down turning to me.

"what was all that?" I questioned fixing my dress.

"how come you didn't tell me about California." He growled.

wait was he seriously mad at me right now?

"wait are you mad about that?"

"yes I'm mad!" He yelled.

"woah, you have no right to be mad at me okay." I huffed crossing my arms.

"yeah I do, you're keeping things from me."

"oh you're one to talk Jensen." I scoffed.

"that's different." He defended.

"so you're allowed to keep all these secrets but as soon as I don't tell you something you get all pissy?" I growled, glaring at him.

Jensen stayed quiet staring at me.

"and then you do this, you completely shut down on me. why do you keep pushing me away? what are you so afraid of?" I asked putting a hand to his cheek.

He flinched at my touch.

"Jensen I'm really trying here, but I need more." I said biting my lip.

"what like hearts and flowers, I'm sorry that's not me." He said turning away from me.

I walked around so I was standing in front of him again.

"I don't care about hearts and flowers, I just want you to be honest with me."

Jensen was quiet again as he stared at me.

"you're right, I have no reason to be mad, it's not like we're dating." He said turning to walk back to the house.

I sighed feeling a tear slip down my cheek.

one step forward. ten steps back.

Author Note:

thank you all for the love, please continue to heart, comment, reblog and follow!

-Liv