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introspectconnect · 6 months

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Deja Vu Love: Why We Repeat Relationship Patterns and How to Change

Love, while enchanting, can often feel like running in circles. Have you ever found yourself drawn to the same kind of partner time and time again? With a sense of déjà vu as you repeatedly find yourself with eerily similar partners. Why is this?

Once upon a time, I can confess I had a "type." I was irresistibly drawn to people's pain. It wasn’t a drive to 'fix' them or some dark intrigue, but rather, seeing a mirror image of my own internal turmoil. I could see it in their eyes, it was evident in their smile, it peeked through in their laugh, and it was obvious we wore the same burdensome mask to hide our scars. I naively believed building a bond based on shared trauma would help us understood each-others better and that we would guide each other on a road to healing. Instead, our pain inflicted more wounds on each other, that reinforced our negative beliefs and justified our unhealthy behaviors.

At the time it made sense, though looking back the flaw in my logic seems clear: Like the blind leading the blind, how can those equally lost, lead one another to light? This personal revelation reflects a challenge many people face in relationships. Chasing after partners based on idealized fantasies rather than real-world truths. It's easy to say, "I have a type," confidently stating our preferences, but do we ever pause to ask why? Are we genuinely yearning for a compatible soul, or are we simply seeking the traits of a person who idealizes a fantasy?

We must find the courage to question our desires. Only then can we uncover whether we're pursuing shallow ideas, or true compatibility and genuine connection. Consider someone who's always wanted a stable, money-wise family because they didn't have that growing up. They might be drawn to a potential partner’s flashy lifestyle. But does a flashy exterior equate to genuine financial security? How can they spot traits of financial stability if they've never known what it looks like? This logic can be applied to many different scenarios.

The cure to break free from that same old love loop comes down to being brave enough to dig into our wants. Learn what the healthy version of our desires looks like, so we don’t get lured by cheap imitations of it. Failure to do this keeps us entangled in familiar, yet potentially toxic patterns. The path to healthy, sincere, and nurturing relationships begins when we discern the real needs beneath our desires.

If you’re stuck in a loop of similar romantic choices, remember acknowledging the pattern is the first step. Dive deep within, challenge your reasoning, and aim for authentic connections. Together, we can break the cycle of déjà vu love.

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in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine · 8 months

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Don't let your mood control you. Learn to control your mood, so you can regain your personal power and control your whole life.

#mindfulness #resilience #emotionalintelligence #selfmastery #growth #healing #boundaries #stability #empowerment #wellbeing

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everythingaboutbiotech · 8 months

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Summary of Atomic Habits by James Clear. This book examines the psychology and science behind how habits form and provides practical strategies to build good habits and break bad ones.

➰The Habit Loop

Habits form through a simple loop - cue, craving, response, reward. Identifying these components allows us to reshape habits.

◾◼️⬛The Compounding Power of Small Changes

Atomic habits are tiny changes that accumulate into remarkable results, like compound interest. Focus on small improvements consistently.

💠Making Habits Obvious

Create visual reminders and cues. Make good habits visible and bad habits invisible. Harness habit stacking and temptation bundling.

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"Before we continue, please suggest in the comment section what book I should summarize next."

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📈Increasing Desire and Frequency

Make habits attractive. Add satisfaction and enjoyment to the habit routine. Leverage our natural cravings and sense of identity.

🔕Shaping Your Environment

Design your environment and context to make good habits easy and bad habits difficult. Control cues, remove triggers.

📐Measuring Habits

Tracking habits creates awareness that leads to improvement. Monitor progress, but focus on consistency over perfection.

⌛Maintaining Habits Long-Term

Habit change is a slow process of small tweaks iterated over time. Make tiny changes and build momentum. Don't quit at the first sign of struggle.

🤝The Role of Community

Surround yourself with people who have positive habits. Leverage accountability partners. Make habit change social.

😇Skill vs. Habit

Focus on building diligent habits over talent. Maintain high standards and emotional commitment to fuel motivation.

💯Avoiding Extremes

Allow for flexibility and balance in habits. Habits support but don't fully define your identity. Moderation helps habits last.

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natalchartnurtures · 5 months

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Venus Got A Lil' Emotional Today

Note: This post might not give you anything new if you're at an intermediate or advanced level of being on the astrology wildride :p

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Water Venus, on a good day: "My heart is a vessel of boundless compassion, where tenderness and understanding blossom. My love is like water, an endless wellspring, and I am its gentle guardian."

Why?- Arguably one of the most precious placements, in my opinion, Water Venuses on their good days truly do God's work. They give themselves unconditionally to people they love, all while ensuring they take care of themselves as well. It's nurture and emotional intelligence at its peak in a social, interpersonal interaction setting. You can truly model what the internet calls a "healthy relationship": balanced, equal, loving beyond bounds, and, of course, filled with a generous dose of passionate romance.

Speaking of romance, it is the trademark of this placement. You can romanticize anything you like—your life, struggles, or crush; anything goes. It could help you get through a lot of life's uglier situations, you know? It's kind of like your coping mechanism. But, it's your superpower—your love. The depths with which you can hold someone—be it your partner, your child, your friend, or even your own parent in need—don't matter. The subject of your affections always gets your all. That is only IF you feel comfortable with the person. That's your boundary because you love yourself pure and deep; you need to have this layer of protection so you won't be taken advantage of (which is something a lot of Water Venuses on their not-so-good days experience).

Take, for example, how someone with a Scorpio Venus maybe wouldn't like to share themselves with just anybody because you all understand that not EVERYBODY has it in them to handle all that beautiful intensity, authenticity, and expression of deep passion. Your discernment is high because your vulnerability is powerful, and the level of trust required here is immense to support the deep intimacy on the level of the mind as much as on the level of the body. Hence the thick layer of mystery and secrecy around you all, especially in romantic settings, which makes you all look even more sexy to suitors caking on the OBVIOUS physical sexiness going on like, girl, I see you.

This energy also shows up as gentle nurturing paired with a fierce sense of protection for all things you care about. Cancer Venus tends to have an instinct to fight for what has a part of your heart. Motherly instincts if you may? But this placement really marries the fighter and the lover trope; it's mind-blowing, really. Here, Venus's love could be expressed in more emotional ways such as creating a safe space for emotional vulnerability or expressions of tenderness and nurturing of the other through whatever you enjoy nurturing other people with, like through cooking (to nurture loved ones physically), through deep conversations (mentally), or giving your loved ones tarot readings even? (Spiritually); whatever you define nurturing is applicable here.

And then again, a Water Venus could manifest as the dreamy, otherworldly, fantastical kind of love that is almost angelic in its frequency when realized in its higher octaves. You bet I'm talking about you, Pisces Venus. You have a wise kind of love that also simultaneously feels childlike and all-encompassing. Compassionate, forgiving, and devotional—the power of love meets the divinity of a human. Powerful as words can describe. This placement puts the unconditional in unconditional love :p; it's quite beautiful to see. And because of their characteristic lack of conditions when it comes to their way of loving, it's quite healing for the rest of us to experience their love, especially for the ones that have faced a tremendous amount of "conditional love."

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Thanks for stopping by, kind soul :)

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lalitsharmajr · 11 months

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Happiness, peace, anger, hatred or any such emotions are in your hand

Take control.

#mindset #success #lifelessons #mindfulness #business #spirituality #mindbodysoul #mindbodyspirit #quoteoflife #lifequotes #happiness #emotionalintelligence #emotional #emotion #emotions #mind control #mindblown #mindless

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parasocial-work · 7 months

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youtube

i made a feels wheel!

link to the actual resource here

oh god I hope it works and helps someone out there somewhere

#actuallyautistic #EmotionalIntelligence #mentalhealth #actuallyaudhd #livedexperience #depression #anxiety #Youtube

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blackgirlslivingwell · 4 days

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Emotional Blackmail | Psychological Manipulation Terms Women Should Know

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pinkpetalbee · 1 month

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🌟💼🤝🌿🌱Accountability, integrity, and intentionality hold immense value. Emotional and spiritual intelligence are also of great importance. In a world that often prioritizes wealth as a measure of worth, it's crucial to remember that true value comes from being spiritually fulfilled, not financially rich. Reflect on a time when you prioritized integrity and spiritual fulfillment over financial gain. How did it impact your sense of self-worth and fulfillment?🔄💰🚫💔

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theloulouge · 2 months

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Reminder Reflections 142

Don’t blame people for disappointing you. Blame yourself for expecting too much from them.

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#EmotionalIntelligence #Empowerment #GrowthMindset #ManageExpectations #MindsetShift #PersonalAccountability #Resilience #SelfAwareness #SelfReflection #TheLoulouge

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killmondaygames · 1 year

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How is it going with Fran Bow to console? 🎮And Killmonday overall? 💊

Find out more in our News update 👀 📃READ: https://killmondaygames.com/?p=5695 📺 WATCH: https://youtu.be/QviWk1vG8bg

#killmondaygames #horrorgame #indiegame #franbow #xbox #playstation #nintendoswitch #darkgame #darkfantasy #creepycute #emotionalintelligence #mindbendinggame

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poetjonnyox · 2 years

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I confuse my poems with foreplay and go down on you with words. -Jonny Ox #onpurpose #makenomistake #emotionalintelligence #wordshavepower #jonnyox #havingfun #word #down #ithappens #confused #confusion #mixeduse #mixup #samething #remingtonrand #remington5 #brightness #getitright #spokenword #itiswritten https://www.instagram.com/p/CiY4oUpMcQ6/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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violentlysweettina · 1 year

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#ifyouknowyouknow #GAngsTALKing #tARgetedINDIviduals #philosophy #emotionalintelligence #97B20 #counterintelligence #FitnessQuestByTINA (at Downtown Peoria, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpISHCCuBrI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#ifyouknowyouknow #gangstalking #targetedindividuals #philosophy #emotionalintelligence #97b20 #counterintelligence #fitnessquestbytina

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in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine · 5 months

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How do you turn off feelings?

#feelings #emotions #emotionalregulation #emotionalmanagement #emotionalintelligence #self-control #copingmechanisms #mentalhealth #wellbeing #suppression #repression #denial #avoidance #numbing #emotionaldistress

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salamanoreen · 7 months

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