#Also sorry for being such a killjoy about this but I feel like we should hold drivers and teams more accountable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jebewonmorelike · 11 months

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Marshmallow Beach

wc: 3.3k pronouns: none used; n/a warnings: fairly angsty for most of it but i ended it pretty funny so there's something for everyone lmao, drowning but it's not real, mentions of financial struggle, probably an inaccurate description of cpr idk we never really learned it in school which is kind of bad lol summary: coworkerwithsomehistory!gyuvin decides to pull the meanest prank in the world on overbearingheadlifeguard!reader after an incredibly tense summer at the beach ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ i literally wrote most of this AT the beach, which was so fun. i was watching some of the lifeguards goof off together and i was like-- imagine zb1 as lifeguards. i feel like, with summer almost in full swing where i am, i will most definitely have to make more lifeguard!zb1 fics bc it's such a cute scenario. lmk if that sounds good to you. also the ending is so funny, i can picture gyuvin and the other boys perfectly in that scene UGH also i accidentally made gyuvin say his catchphrase in this, i wrote it and then i was like oh my god what... comment if you spot it

“It’s not that cold.”

You stare at the boy standing knee-deep in the ocean in front of you— his skin beginning to turn the same color as the water as his teeth chatter audibly over the crashing waves and the wind that’s suddenly picking up.

“Gyuvin, that’s enough—,” you start to scold, but the tall teenager continues to wade further into the sea. The waves are growing bigger and the sun has almost completely dipped past the horizon line.

“Hyung-ah, wait for me!” The youngest of the lifeguards calls, pulling his grey hoodie over his head and running off into the ocean after him.

“Gunwook-ah! I really don’t think you guys should be—.”

“Why are you always such a narc, (Y/N)?” Gyuvin shouts back at you, grabbing the younger boy and dunking him under the water as soon as he reaches him.

You sigh annoyedly. This was your fourth summer as a lifeguard at Village Beach; you’d been a fairly diligent and dedicated employee the past three years and at the beginning of this summer you’d been promoted to Head Lifeguard.

Your friend Taerae had been hired at the same time as you; Ricky and Gyuvin joining the team the year after. The previous summers you’d loved hanging out with your fellow lifeguard friends, goofing around on breaks, and, most importantly, being able to help beach-goers however you can. This summer, however, has been anything but enjoyable.

You’d needed the extra money before your junior year at college, so you didn’t think twice about taking the position as Head Lifeguard. But, boy… You should have. Now nearly every responsibility of the beach fell on your shoulders. There had been no time for fun, no time for friends and no time for…

“Gyuvin-ah, please,” you yell, watching as both Ricky and Taerae follow the two younger boys into the ocean until the water is up to their chests. “Are you kidding me!?”

“Can you lighten up for once!?” Gyuvin shouts back, rolling his eyes. “Oh sorry, I forgot: you’re a massive killjoy now!”

You see Taerae wince, but he doesn’t say anything. Of course that’s what they all thought of you now. You’d probably hate yourself, too. Yelling at the other lifeguards when they weren’t paying attention, handing out citations when they clocked in late, reporting back to your boss about any ways they had been lacking, blowing your whistle whenever one of them left their post unscheduled...

Everyone’s favorite co-worker had become the boss’s pet. Sure, it got you a few extra dollars on the hour, but was it really worth losing your friends? The nervous looks the new kid Gunwook gave you whenever you entered the break lounge? The multiple occasions where you’d walked into a restaurant after a shift to see all of your friends eating dinner without you?

The boy you’d had a crush on for three summers now calling you a narc; a killjoy?

You know you could’ve been a little easier on them. They were all great lifeguards; showed up and worked hard during early morning training and were (almost) always alert. But you’d only been trying to do your best and keep your position. The truth was, you desperately needed that extra money. It was the only way you were going to be able to buy your books next semester. And when your boss was always such a hardass, threatening to give the position to someone else if you couldn’t keep up...

But now all these boys only see you as a tyrant. A snitch. And undoubtedly a bad friend.

It’s a cool August evening; a party for the lifeguards before your last week of work. You were positive that you were the last person any of the boys wanted here, but Ricky had accidentally let the plan slip in front of you. Your longest friend, Taerae, had laughed awkwardly in an attempt to cover it up, walking over to you and telling you the details-- ensuring that they had just forgotten to let you know.

Though you knew the invitation was disingenuous, you’d showed up anyway. After all, it was right after your shift ended and on the beach where you work. Maybe you were just curious as to what they’d get up to. Maybe you were so starved for fun by now that you were willing to insert yourself in what had to be one of the most awkward bonfires you’d ever attended (because of your presence, of course).

And they probably wouldn’t believe you but maybe you really missed them.

“I finally got that girl’s number today,” Ricky says, taking a bite of the marshmallow on his roasting stick. “Before dinner break. She came up to me and started asking about sharks and I--.”

“Told her to stop bothering you while you were working?” You mumble to yourself before a scan around the now silent group informs you it had been audible. You look back down at your own gooey marshmallow, picking a piece off and popping it into your mouth. You knew exactly the girl Ricky was talking about. He’d admired her from afar since last summer, gushing to you, Taerae, and Gyuvin about everything she did each Friday that she came to the beach.

You should be congratulating him, but your brain has been so acutely re-hardwired this summer that all you could do was scold him for not doing his job.

“Hey, remember when you used to be nice?” Gyuvin asks suddenly, taking a sip from his can while his eyes remain locked on you.

“I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just--.”

“Just doing your job, we know. It’s one of your ten pre-programmed phrases,” he interrupts sarcastically. “Don’t say too much, Ricky. (Y/N)’s just gonna report it back to the boss anyway.”

“No, I’m not,” you reply, rolling your eyes. Much more quietly, you add, “I’m happy for Ricky.”

“Are you? Are you even friends with Ricky anymore?” Gyuvin continues his criticism. “Are you friends with any of us? You barely even know Gunwook! You yelled at him for jumping off his post instead of using the ladder before you even officially met him.”

You just stare back at him, well aware that everything he’s saying is valid. That doesn’t make it hurt any less. The disdain in Gyuvin’s eyes now is palpable. It’s hard to imagine that almost a year ago to the date, you’d sat together on the shore in the moonlight-- letting the waves crash over your feet as you told him how you wished that summer would never end. How he’d leaned over to you so that your right shoulder touched his left, his large hand finding its way on top of yours innocently. How, rather than annoyance in his eyes, he’d instead looked at you like he wanted to...

“Too good for us, huh? Go ahead, ignore me,” Gyuvin scoffs, shaking his head and taking another sip of his drink. You’d zoned out-- he was right. But if he only knew the actual reason... “See if I care. Why are you even here anyway?”

You let a moment pass in silence. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” you mumble to no one in particular; trying your best to hold in the flood of emotions that’s boiling beneath the surface. Taerae taps your arm as you walk past him, but you just nod passively in response-- continuing up the sand.

You take your time in the bathroom, staring in the mirror and willing yourself not to cry. When you return to the bonfire, there’s been a small but noticeable shift in the wind-- and the ocean is responding accordingly. That’s why you’re so shocked when Gyuvin suddenly pulls his sweatshirt over his head and runs towards the water with a devilish grin on his face.

And now that all four of your fellow lifeguards are up to their chests in cold, rising night waves, you’re more than a little pissed at Gyuvin. And the fear rising in your chest is becoming overwhelming.

“Binnie, I--,” you shout over the roar of the waves crashing at your feet but you know he can’t hear you. You can barely see him now; he’s under the water for at least ten seconds at a time as the waves grow even higher in the wind. “I promise I’m not trying to nag you, but you’re scaring me!”

The other boys look back at you from a bit closer to shore, weird looks on their faces. They turn to each other, now appearing wary but not really of Gyuvin’s safety. Taerae and Ricky keep looking back at you-- concern suddenly tangible in their eyes as they whisper to each other intensely.

Over the waves, you can faintly hear Gunwook calling to Gyuvin, “Hyung-ah, maybe this is--.”

Gyuvin shakes his head dismissively, stepping out further into the nearly black ocean-- a large wave rising in front of him. He turns around; smiling back towards the shore and giving a thumbs up.

“BIN-AH!” You cry as the giant wave collapses behind Gyuvin, hurtling towards the tall boy at rapid speed. If he was paying attention, the wave would be fairly easy for him to swim through. But he’s not. “BEHIND YOU!”

Before he can turn around, the wave overtakes Gyuvin-- submerging him under the water. You watch the surface, horrified as the wave knocks the other three boys off their feet before finally hitting your ankles in a soft foam. Seconds pass; the other boys eventually scramble to their feet, but...

Gyuvin doesn’t.

It’s twenty seconds. Twenty-five. Thirty.

You’re frozen in place. You’re a lifeguard-- you should be running into the water to find him. But you find yourself unable to move. Unable to breathe as if you’re the one underwater.

Luckily, the other three boys are swimming out to where Gyuvin is-- all three diving under the water before Ricky surfaces with something on his back. All three of them help carry the weight of the tallest boy between them, pulling him to shore laboredly.

When the water is finally below their knees, your body snaps out of its frightened paralysis as you finally get a good look at a seemingly unconscious Gyuvin. Running over to the boys and wrapping your hands around one of Gyuvin’s biceps to help support him, you help to drag him onto the sand.

Lying him down flat on his back, you kneel down over Gyuvin’s stomach-- a knee on either side of his chest. Placing an ear over his mouth, you check to see if he’s breathing. He’s not. Your panicked paralysis has now done a 180-degree flip; you’re so scared that any common sense has completely left your brain and you’re propelled into frantic action. You don’t even register that his heart is still beating strongly-- that you don’t have to be doing chest compressions or pinching his nose and connecting your lips to his to administer a rescue breath like you are right now...

Gyuvin’s eyes shoot open so quickly that the surprise jolts you off of him. You sit back upright on your knees over his stomach, watching as he blinks back at you wide-eyed.

The lack of salt water dripping from Gyuvin’s mouth suddenly stifles you. Something isn’t right about this.

Finally, he forces a laugh and his tone that follows is anything but frightened, relieved, pained, or any other emotions that someone who just nearly drowned might be exhibiting. “Really? Chest compressions? A rescue breath? Are you sure you’re Head Lifeguard? You seriously couldn’t tell I wasn’t actually drowning?”

You stare at him for a moment before glancing back at the other boys behind you. They look more uncomfortable than anything. Turning back to look at Gyuvin’s smirking face, which is albeit a little blue still from the water temperature, you realize you’re the only one currently experiencing any fear.

“What?” You whisper breathlessly.

“Gotcha,” Gyuvin says with a grin, lifting up on his elbows to look at the boys behind you. “I think that prank was a success.”

“You--... You weren’t drowning?” You ask, the reality of the situation sinking in. After this summer-- after what you’d said at the bonfire-- Gyuvin had decided to play this horrific prank on you to... what? Teach you a lesson? Get revenge? Traumatize you?

You turn to look at the other boys. “And you knew?”

All three of them already look regretful, heads hung slightly in shame. Now you realize that they’d been wary about this since you’d called to Gyuvin that he was scaring you. They’d turned to each other concernedly-- Gunwook had even tried to ask him to reconsider tricking you like this.

“What the FUCK is wrong with you!?” You shout, hitting Gyuvin’s chest with your hands as all of the tension spills out of you. “I thought you were gonna die! I thought you--... I thought you--...”

“What? Gonna tell the boss? Gonna write us up?” Gyuvin asks, far too sardonically. “Gonna--... Hey, wait, are you crying?”

Water is dripping onto Gyuvin’s abs and it’s not coming from the sky. The wind has lulled and the air is warm again-- the black night above the ocean dusted in thousands of clustered stars.

“Why would you do this? Do you hate me that much? All of you?” You ask, eyes fixed on the water. “I know I was the absolute worst all summer and I don’t think anyone is more upset about it than me! You think I don’t miss having fun with you guys!? This summer has been a literal nightmare.”

There’s cautious silence except the slow crashing of the waves.

“The truth is I really needed the extra money. I wouldn’t have been able to go to college next semester without it, so I’ve just had to tolerate being a miserable narc to my boss who keeps threatening to replace me-- all while having no friends during what used to be my favorite part of the year,” you confess, your dignified tears only growing more haggard. “I’m really sorry. I’m so, so sorry for everything, but why--... Why would you make me think that you--... ”

Your eyes are boring into Gyuvin’s now; his are wide and unnerved staring back at you. “I missed you so much,” you say softly, nearly inaudible over the murmuring of the ocean beside you. You know he heard you, though, from the way his body tenses under you. “But don’t worry: you’ve made it clear now you don’t feel the same.”

Your whole body is still a bit shaky from the adrenaline, but you manage to stand up-- stepping over Gyuvin and walking towards the other boys.

“(Y/N), we--,” Taerae starts an attempt at an explanation, but you’re less than interested.

Walking through him and Ricky, shoulders brushing unceremoniously as you head back up toward the recreation building, you mutter under your breath: “Jerks.”

You’re in the break lounge for at least ten minutes before the sound of the doors bursting open grabs your attention. It’s Gyuvin standing in the doorway, wearing his red and white hoodie again and a pair of grey sweatpants. He doesn’t say anything.

“Go away,” you threaten half-heartedly; even the energy to be rightfully mad at him has been sucked out of you.

“No,” he replies, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. He leans his back up against it cautiously, obviously not wanting to upset you further by invading your space more than necessary.

You sigh deeply; it’s not angry or mocking. Just tired. “Do you need water? I know you weren’t actually drowning, but that had to hurt your throat-- holding your breath like that.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t be nice to me after I was just so mean to you,” the tall boy replies, shaking his head. “And I could’ve held my breath for five more minutes if I had to. State record holder: remember?”

You do remember. Gyuvin had told you about his swimming achievement two summers ago-- when he was just a newbie lifeguard at the beach. He’d bought you an ice cream sandwich out of the vending machine when you’d said you really wanted one. He bought you one every time after that that he’d caught you staring longingly at the machine.

“I’m really sorry.”

You both say it at the same time. It’s simultaneously painfully awkward and the greatest relief.

“I’m sorry for being so terrible all summer,” you say quickly, not wanting to have a back-and-forth over who’s gonna apologize first. “And I’m sorry for making you feel like I think I’m too good for you now or that I was purposefully ignoring you... and everything in between. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. And I’m really sad that I can’t.”

“I completely understand that you needed the money. You deserve to go to school more than anyone I know. I just wish you would’ve told me,” he says, meeting your gaze. “I wouldn’t’ve judged you. And then I would’ve known why you’d started acting all... you know.”

You nod. “I know. I’m really sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Gyuvin says after a moment; a sheepish smile creeps onto his face. “My turn, I guess.”

“Mmhmm,” you agree, narrowing your eyes at him. “Better be good, too.”

“First off, I’m incredibly sorry. I went way too far and it wasn’t cool at all. I really didn’t mean to scare you like that-- I kind of thought you’d just be a regular amount of worried or that you’d catch on that it was a prank faster but--.”

“Are you blaming this on me being too stupid to figure it out or...?” You ask, an eyebrow raising at him.

“NO! No, I didn’t mean that. I just... I was really upset, honestly. I’ve been upset this whole summer about you. And then on the one night you’re actually hanging out with us again, you were still acting the same way,” he explains, a hand raising to scratch his arm. “I just thought that if you didn’t care about me anymore then... maybe I could make you care about me again.”

“By... pretending to drown in front of me? A little toxic of you-- I hate to admit.”

“Definitely not the best idea I’ve ever had,” he laughs awkwardly, hand reaching for the back of his neck. “I’m really sorry, (Y/N). Are you okay?”

You nod, looking down at your hands in your lap. “Was really shitty of you, Binnie.”

“Really, really shitty of Binnie, I know,” Gyuvin says, a small pout on his lips. “That guy’s the worst.”

“He really is,” you agree, a smile threatening to peek through. “But you didn’t need to make me care about you again. I never stopped.”

He looks at you, eyebrows raising with surprise.

“I feel like I missed everything this summer. Ricky’s pining over that girl that eventually paid off, Taerae trying to throw Cheez-its from his post all the way to mine, our post-work lifeguard dinners,” you recount sadly. “But you know what I missed most of all?”

Gyuvin’s eyes are bright, but he shakes his head. “What?”

“Oh come on, you know exactly what I’m gonna say,” you tease with a disbelieving smile.

He smiles back, answering softly, “Wanna hear you say it.”

The way your stomach flutters is so stupidly joyful that it’s embarrassing. “You,” you say, indulging him. “I missed you most of all.”

“I missed you,” Gyuvin echoes, grinning like an idiot. “Like... SO, so much.”

You don’t care how embarrassing you’re being anymore-- you hop up from the couch and run over to Gyuvin, lifting up on your toes and throwing your arms around his neck. He picks you up off the ground for a moment-- arms supporting your back and waist as he roughs you up a bit in his typical big-dog-energy way. He places you back on the ground, hands still attached to your waist.

You remember the look that’s in his eyes now. It’s the same one he gave you that night on the beach last summer. Is he still too shy? Is he unsure after all that happened this summer?

It’s obvious what he wants to do. Maybe you could make up for everything this summer by helping him out here...

“Your lungs must be aching, Binnie,” you start, smiling up at him sweetly. “Surely it must hurt at least a little bit to breathe now.”

Gyuvin frowns, shaking his head. “No, I’m all good! I could do it again actually if I had to.”

You narrow your eyes at him, kicking his shin lightly with your foot. “It must be so difficult for you to breathe on your own right now,” you overly emphasize each word in hopes that he catches on. “Maybe you need some more rescue breaths...”

“I don’t need--,” Gyuvin starts to deny again before his eyes suddenly widen. “I--... Oh... Uh... You know what-- you’re right! It turns out I really do need some rescue breaths after all of that. And you know, you were so good at administering them before...”

You press up on your toes again and Gyuvin carefully leans down to meet you-- your lips finding his in a long-anticipated kiss. It’s tender and his soft lips taste and feel like roasted marshmallows. You pull back, smiling at each other shyly.

“C’mon, I’ll drive you home,” he says, hand around your waist as he pulls the door open behind him.

THUD. Thud. Thuddd.

Ricky, Taerae and Gunwook look up at you from the floor-- apparently having fallen down when the door they’d been pressed against was opened.

“Hear anything good?” You ask, eyebrows raised expectantly.

All three boys mumble their apologies as Gyuvin leads you through the doorway past them. You turn around to call back to them, “Hope you guys clock in at 7:30 sharp tomorrow morning! Ricky, you’re running out of Level 1 citations.”

“Wait, what!? I thought you were gonna be super chill again from now on!” Ricky exclaims.

Taerae nods. “Yeah, didn’t you just apologize for being annoying all summer?”

“I got a citation last week for being three seconds late,” Gunwook says frantically. “THREE! I can’t do this anymore!”

“Whoah, whoah, whoah, that’s enough fellas,” Gyuvin says, popping his sunglasses on (indoors and at night). “You all better be compliant from now on. (Y/N)’s got a job to do and if any of you get in the way, you will be answering to me. Well, after you answer to (Y/N), of course.”

Tightening his grip around your waist, Gyuvin leads you down the hallway of the beach recreation building and out the doors into the warm summer night air.

“We’ve been bamboozled,” Taerae whispers.

Ricky groans, “And we still have to show up to work at 7:30 tomorrow morning.”

Gunwook twitches. “... THREE!”

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turkfra · 1 year

Note

pls elaborate on arthur and ludwig being misinterpreted!!! bcos we might agree on some things 😼 love ur writing n ur energy soo much :*

hello anon my beloved! sorry i was grocery shopping when i saw this 😭 thank you so much for saying you love my writing and energy that's very sweet 🥺 i'm trying to crank out this mf easter chapter and update my main WIPs!!

hmmm this is a brilliant question and i appreciate this opportunity so much bc HOOOO boy do i have Things to say about Arthur Kirkland. but it's also difficult bc i might be controversial here. like i fully expect to be taken to the stakes. also, i'm not much of a ludwig expert but i will make an attempt. disclaimer, these are my personal opinions and everyone is entitled to their own. also i don't mean to sound angry here, just passionate!!

so i was here MANY years ago. Artie here is kinda my main man, and i have strong opinions on him. and let me start by acknowledging that in canon, everyone is depicted pretty twinky or a twunk at best. i mean, it's an anime. that being said, there are many different fanon interpretations, but in my opinion there doesn't seem to be enough variation on Arthur/England's character. Blanket Statement Warning; Arthur woobifiers lack nuance. simply put, i find that he's often needlessly feminized, and i could not agree with this less.

i'm not glorifying colonization, but presenting a simple fact; he represents one of the most powerful nations/empires on earth. i believe he is and should be allowed to be masculine. yes, he can be a catty bitch. and no, in general, at least in canon, he is not the most macho guy on earth. (do i have overtly macho characterizations? yes, for example, when he's a punk. i write him several different ways!) but my point stands that this is a grown ass man. we need to allow him to look like one; have broad shoulders and a bit of hair on his chest. i cannot believe this is controversial to say.

i can't really see him as feminine whatsoever, and i don't want to yuck anyone's yum, but i don't understand why this portrayal is so popular. i can't see him as a "mother", or presenting femininely, or being receptive in the bedroom. to me, he's Grandpa. he's a grumpy old man. and a rat bastard. he's a ruthless pirate captain. he can also be Just Some Guy, a posh gentleman, a stern and doting father, or a feral forest imp. whether or not he's particularly "nice" (i have written him as a nice guy as well!) he's a control freak with a hot temper, but a stiff upper lip. he's very guarded, invulnerable, and possessive. his personality is an inherently dominant one. even at his most raw, even with that prickly shell stripped away and showing his most genuine emotions, he's a strong and proud man.

i also would go so far as to say macho-ness and femininity are misunderstood concepts themselves on this Hell Site. but i digress.

now, as is evident, Ludwig is a deeply repressed man. i haven't written much of him nor are my opinions very strong, but he's such a classic character, and GerIta has a special place in my heart. correct me if i'm wrong, and i do notice that the fanon interpretation is indeed changing, but overall i recall him being interpreted as a very one dimensional, mean, cold, loud, and bossy killjoy. is this warranted, because he's like this on the outside? perhaps.

Ludwig strikes me as the sort of lad who has been forced into a certain role of rigid stoicism to the point where he loses himself in the process. he is an order follower, an authority pleaser, in the worst of ways. in the context of WW2 era Germany, he strives to be a image of perfection, of rugged, propagandized masculinity. he's certainly a man, and a big one at that. i'm not denying that, he's definitely a dominant figure! but he hides his vulnerability because he believes he's not allowed to feel emotions or enjoy anything outside of the prescribed perception.

does Luddy himself have a sweet side? totally. he yearns to let his guard down. he longs to give love. was Germany (the third reich, you all know what i mean) ruthless, disgusting and evil at the time? absolutely, and we should not make light of that. does he have anger issues? maybe not as much as it might seem. i believe at his core, he wants to be gentle. he needs to learn how.

thank you again for the ask, and if you read this long. i do hope this clarifies things. my inbox is open for any further questions. haters to the left please 💖💅

#my writing #ask and ye shall receive #bianca crucified #aph england #aph germany #england hetalia #germany hetalia #arthur kirkland #ludwig beilschmidt #characterization

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psychic-winged-turtle · 5 months

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Jude Totally Doesn't Have a Crush, Part 4

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock

Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring

Snowin’ and blowing’ up bushels of fun

Now the jingle hop has begun~

“Ugh. Not the Jingle Bell Rock again.” David groans, reaching out to turn down the radio.

“Don’t turn it down!” Jude exclaims. “Do you seriously not like Jingle Bell Rock?”

David sighs, but pulls his hand away from the volume control. “It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that I’ve been hearing it ten times a day since November first and I’m getting tired of it.”

“Well, sorry that the Christmas season doesn’t speak to your soul the way it should.” Jude jokes with a smirk before continuing to speak with a dramatic tone. “Your cold, dead grinch heart might yet be warmed by the magic of Christmas, for we are going to the most magical place on earth, off-brand winter wonderland!”

Leo snorts and glances in the rearview mirror to see Jude. “I’m not sure it will be enough. David has a particular brand of non-magical vibes.”

“Is that so? Did you get coal one too many times, David?” Jude asks teasingly.

David has shrunk into his seat with a scowl and crossed arms. “You two are unbearable.”

“And you are killing the vibe.” Leo replies to him. “C’mon David. Cheer up and enjoy the fact that we’re about to fill up on sugar, cider, and Christmas Spirit.”

David rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Let me be a killjoy for a few more minutes.”

“Yeah, Leo. You gotta let him get the goth vibes out before he can truly enjoy the mood.” Jude once again jokes from the backseat.

David rolls his eyes one more time, but then he straightens up in the seat and turns around to look at Jude. “Have you been to Night of Lights before?”

“No. This is the first year I’ve been living in this area.” Jude says. “Though other places also have various Christmas events, so I’ve likely been to similar ones.”

“Yeah. I went to one once that had a hayride through the woods. They had a bunch of lights set up and you got to just sit and sip hot chocolate and stuff.” David says.

“Is that it?” Leo says, directing their attention back to the front of the car. In the distance they can see colorful lights.

“It must be. I can’t think of any other reason the middle of nowhere would be glowing.” David says sarcastically.

“If you keep being sassy, I’m going to gag you.” Leo jokes.

“Kinky.” Jude adds on.

David’s face goes red. “You two are unbearable.”

“You’ve already said that tonight, come up with a new phrase.” Leo says as he turns onto a smaller road that is decorated with lights along both sides.

They all become quiet as they look out the windows. Leo slows down so that they can enjoy the different decorations on the way to the parking lot. There are lights arching across the road so that they seem to be driving through a glowing tunnel. Small figures of elves are set up to look like they are peeking around the trunks of trees. Jude even thinks he sees a figure of Santa hidden up in the branches of a tree that is a little further off the trail.

When they park the car and get out David immediately sighs.

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock

Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time

Dancin’ and prancin’ in Jingle Bell Square

In the frosty air~

“I swear this song is haunting me.” He says.

Leo laughs. “Yes, I’m sure the radio men are out to get you in particular.”

“Well, that’s what it feels like.” David drags his feet for a moment before catching up to Jude and Leo. They head towards a cluster of buildings. Jude can smell hot chocolate and apple cider as they get closer.

Although they are living a little too far south for a white Christmas, Jude appreciates the crunch of dead grass under their feet and the nippy wind that puts a very attractive blush on David’s cheeks. Jude has to pause for a moment at that thought and ever so slightly shake his head, as though he could remove it from his mind like an etch-a-sketch. He has gotten to the point of realizing that he really does like David and Leo, and that it is not going away, so he’s employing a new strategy in order to not constantly feel like he’s pining after them. This new strategy includes no longer allowing himself to entertain these kinds of thoughts. If he only thinks friendly things about them, surely his feelings will turn friendly as well.

The three of them approach the stall that is selling food and drinks. Jude gets hot chocolate, Leo gets an apple cider, and David gets some peppermint-coffee-sugar monstrosity—mainly to spite Leo who warned against drinking coffee this late in the evening.

“I’m just saying that if you’re tossing and turning in bed I will banish you to the couch. Your bad decision will not affect my sleep.” Leo says as they make their way to a forest trail that has been decorated with Christmas lights.

The Night of Lights is a community project that decorates hiking trails with lights, streamers, and other decorations to try and create a magical Christmas experience in the week leading up to the 25th. Jude didn’t know that it existed, but apparently Leo used to go when he was a kid. Although he didn’t say it explicitly, Jude got the feeling that the last time that he went was before his brother died. It makes Jude wonder why he’d want to go back now.

“Jude!” David says, at a volume that makes Jude think he may have been saying his name for a while.

“What?” Jude looks over at him and he sighs.

“I was going to ask what your favorite Christmas movie is, but now I’m more curious about what’s got you off in dreamland.”

“I’m not in dreamland.” Jude says, looking back towards the lights overhead. “I’m just enjoying the lights.”

“And what are you thinking about?” David asks.

Jude doesn’t know why that question suddenly rubs him the wrong way. It’s an innocent question and David has definitely asked it before, but today it just sets something off in Jude.

“Nothing.” Jude answers in an almost instinctual way. The way he always did when adults would ask him what he was thinking as a child. A moment after Jude says it he questions why he did. David is not one of his many caregivers. He’s his friend and he has absolutely never given Jude a reason to think that he would judge him for his thoughts. In fact, David is an extraordinarily open person in most situations.

“Oh. Okay.” David says. There’s something in his tone that Jude doesn’t like. He hopes he didn’t upset David or something. He wishes he could explain that he didn’t mean to answer that way, that for some reason his messed-up brain decided that David was a threat for a moment. It seems like that would take too much explaining, though, and Jude just wants to move on from this moment.

“So… you were talking about Christmas movies?” Jude asks, prompting David to dive back into a conversation about the pros and cons of various Christmas movies. Leo regularly disagrees with him, more for entertainment purposes than anything. Jude has a feeling that Leo could care less about most of these movies, it’s just funny to watch David get heated about a claymation where Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer is bullied for half the movie and an elf decides that he wants to be a dentist.

Throughout their hike through the lights conversation flows and pauses naturally. That moment of discomfort that Jude experienced near the beginning doesn’t return and he’s able to focus on the moments that are happening right now. When they reach the end of the trail they find themselves back where they started. They decide to get another drink—this time Jude gets cider, Leo gets hot chocolate, and David still gets the coffee (to spite Leo)—and then find a place to sit a little ways away from the crowd.

Jude has been watching a snowball-fight made of lights for a few moments, trying to figure out if the “thrown” light snowballs are random or on a timer, when he hears a small sniffle. He turns to look at Leo and David, only to find that Leo is quietly crying.

David reaches out to take his hand, comfortingly brushing his fingers over Leo’s knuckles. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s… There’s nothing wrong. I’m just-” Leo pauses to take a calming breath, it shutters slightly on the way out “-I’m just a little upset that I’m enjoying myself.”

“Why would you be upset about that?” Jude asks. He doesn’t mean for it to sound harsh or judgemental, but after the words leave his mouth he realizes that they might be read that way. It’s just that… What Leo said doesn’t make any sense.

“It. It’s a little silly.” Leo pauses again and wipes his face. Even though he appears calm, small trails of tears keep appearing. “It’s just that-” another pause “-the last time I came where was with Leonard. Every time that I’ve come here, it was with Leonard. To be here without him… it makes me feel…”

Leo cuts himself off completely and David squeezes his hand. “It’s alright, Leo. Take your time.”

“After he died I spent a very long time being miserable.” Leo starts talking again, trying to convey his meaning from a different angle. “It reached a point where it wasn’t even out of grief. Or, it was, it just wasn’t because I was processing it. Anything that I related to Leonard became… agony. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror, much less visit any place I had associated with him.”

“It took me years to realize that what I was doing… the avoidance, the…” Leo swallows, skipping past whatever he was going to say. “It just took me a long time to realize that what I was doing wasn’t doing anything. It wasn’t going to bring Leonard back. It wasn’t going to… I don’t know, make his absence hurt any less. It definitely wasn’t helping me move on. So I realized I had to stop. I couldn’t live the way I was living.”

Once again, Leo pauses for a long moment. He takes a few deep breaths and once again wipes his face. “So I-” His voice cracks and he takes a moment to swallow “-so I started visiting the places we used to go. A lot of the time I took Darrius with me, and I slowly got back to a place that I could call ‘fairly normal’. But-” a breath “-I hadn’t ever managed to come back here. Of all the places that we went together, this wasn’t even a particularly special spot. Even so, just thinking about coming here just made me feel… bad. But I don’t think it should. I don’t want to feel bad about these things anymore. I know Leonard wouldn’t want me to.”

Leo looks between Jude and David, the first time he’s managed to look them in the eyes during this conversation. “So, I decided that I wanted to try to come here this year. I was going to go with Darrius, but then I thought about how much I wanted to spend time with the two of you and I thought that if anyone could make this night bearable it would be y’all.”

“I’m glad we could be here for you.” David says immediately. Jude feels like he should say something too, but his voice seems to have left him.

“So, yeah, that’s why I feel… a bit upset.” Leo says a bit awkwardly. “Thanks for… being here and listening to my monologue.”

“I mean… I'm pretty sure I could listen to you monologue about anything, so don’t worry about it.” Goddammit, Jude! That was totally inappropriate. Why the hell is he so shit at dealing with feelings?

Luckily, Leo just chuckles at that. “Well, I’m glad you didn’t mind it. And I hope I didn’t ruin the mood.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.” David says. “If anything this just gives us more time together because now we obviously need to get you one of those chocolate-marshmallow snowmen that I saw being sold.”

Leo laughs again at that, a little more genuinely. “Be careful, I might think that you’re using my little breakdown to get treats.”

“What? No! I would never. The chocolate-marshmallow man is entirely for you.” David says in a mock-offended tone before switching to a sly smirk. “The white-chocolate snowflake will be my treat for your breakdown.”

Leo rolls his eyes. “Wow. Such a good boyfriend I have, taking advantage of me for an excuse to have sugar.”

“Hey! You would do the same for me.” David jokes.

The three of them end up each getting a treat ‘for Leo’s breakdown’ and then finishing the night by sitting in the back of Leo’s van and listening to the Christmas music being blasted across the parking lot.

What a bright time, it’s the right time

To rock the night away

Jingle bell time is a swell time

To go glidin’ in a one-horse sleigh

“OH MY GOD!” David exclaims when he realizes which song is playing. “Why are they playing it AGAIN?!”

Leo and Jude just laugh at him. The three of them have ended up pressed together in the bed of Leo’s van in order to use the one blanket that he brought to stay warm. Jude can’t help the thought that this feels a lot like toeing the line of cuddling with them, but he argues that if he didn’t he would just be cold and the two of them clearly don’t mind. The logical part of his mind that is trying to preserve his emotional well-being disagrees, but Jude is an expert at ignoring reason so he doesn’t think too hard about it.

“Oh, come on, David! It’s a nice song.” Jude says before singing along just to be annoying. “Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet-”

“Jingle around the clock~” Leo joins in, causing David to roll his eyes.

“Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin’ feet,” Leo and Jude sing together, “That’s the jingle bell rock!”

“You two suck.” David says, cutting off their rendition.

“What? I sing wonderfully.” Jude puts a hand over his chest in mock offense.

Leo, who is sat between David and Jude, scoots away from David and presses up against Jude’s side. “If you don’t like it, maybe I should just stick with Jude.” He wraps an arm around Jude’s shoulder to pull him flush against his side.

“What? Jude, I can’t believe you’re stealing my boyfriend!” David exclaims jokingly. Jude can’t even joke back due to the fact that his face suddenly feels unusually warm and his throat feels like he might actually be choking on his feelings.

Luckily, Leo picks up the joke. “He’s not stealing me. You’re pushing me away with your lack of Christmas spirit.”

Something about the combination of the conversation and the closeness has put Jude right back onto the edge that he found earlier tonight. Jude tries to take a deep breath, but he can’t manage it. The dread that likes to sit in his belly is spreading up into his lungs and out into his limbs. Everything is beginning to feel heavy and tight. Jude tries to think about something—anything—but his mind has gone blank and his ears have begun to ring. On some level he knows that he’s just having another panic attack, that it will pass like all the others, but the vast majority of his mind seems convinced that he’s going to die at this moment. And the real trouble is, he doesn’t even know why he’s panicking. His frustration at the situation, however, is definitely not going to help him calm down.

It takes a while, but Jude realizes that someone seems to be talking to him. He thinks it might be David. His voice sounds really far away, though. It takes a long time for Jude to process his words, and when he does it feels less like he actually heard David speak and more like he just finally understood what was being said.

David is trying to help him breathe. He’s taking deep breaths with Jude’s hand pressed against his chest so that he can feel the movement. After Jude realizes this it takes him a few moments before he is actually able to copy the breaths. His chest hurts.

“That’s great, Jude. Just keep breathing like that.” Jude is finally able to actually hear David’s voice as it breaks through all the fog in his head. “That’s it. In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four-”

Jude doesn’t know how long he listens to David count. It somehow feels like no time at all, but also forever. Eventually, Jude starts processing the whole situation. He recognizes that he’s laying down. His head is on a squishmellow that Leo keeps in the van and the blanket has been put over him. David is sitting next to him, holding his hand against his chest. The way he is seated blocks Jude from being able to see out the back of the van. Based on how quiet it is, he assumes they must have shut the doors. He can’t see Leo.

As soon as Jude fully realizes what happened he is internally cursing himself. What the hell was that about? Leo put an arm around him and he just… freaked the fuck out? Doesn’t he want to be close to them? Now they definitely won’t ever do that again. Maybe this will even be what finally makes them want to stop hanging out. Now they’ve realized that he’s unstable not-in-a-fun-way and they won’t want to be associated with that. Jude needs to leave. He needs to go far away. He needs-

“Hey, Jude! Don’t lose focus. You’re doing so well.” David draws his attention away from the spiral. “Just keep breathing.”

Jude goes back to focusing on David and taking shaky breaths. He still can’t see Leo. “S-sorry. I’m sorry.” Jude starts saying, he repeats himself a few times before his words are clear enough for David to understand.

“Shhh, Jude. You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay.” David says, but Jude just shakes his head.

They were having a good night. Leo was able to talk about his brother and take a step forward in healing. It was fun. There is no reason for Jude to be acting like this. He’s taking all the attention from Leo, who actually needs it. Where is Leo? Why is David here with him and not Leo? Did he upset him?

This time, Jude manages to stop himself from spiraling. Regardless of the situation, he has to calm himself down. He can’t think about the future and how he’s certainly fucked up… something because if he keeps breaking down then eventually David will get sick of holding his hand and then he’ll have to work through this alone.

Jude has no idea how much time has passed by the time his lungs feel full of air and his head is reattached to his shoulders. All he knows is that David and Leo must be so annoyed with him right now. It’s just in his nature to ruin good things.

“Jude, are you feeling well enough to sit up?” David asks once he realizes Jude has calmed himself.

Something about David asking that hurts. It shouldn’t hurt. He doesn’t deserve David’s care anyways so it makes sense he would take it away as soon as Jude is back to himself. Jude just nods and David helps him to sit up.

Once he is upright, Jude is able to see into the front of the van where Leo is sat in the driver's seat. He’s looking back at them with a worried expression. “Are you alright?” He asks.

“Yeah.” Jude replies automatically. “I’m fine. Sorry about that.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Leo says. He looks like he wants to add on something else, but chooses not to. “We should probably get back into the city. It’s getting pretty late.”

“Oh. Okay.” Jude should not feel this disappointed. Of course they’re going to want to go home. Who in their right mind would want to keep hanging out after he basically threw a fit for no reason.

Leo starts the car and Jude is surprised to find that David stays in the back with him. He expected for him to join Leo in the front. The first half of the drive is very quiet. It feels awkward to Jude. Maybe David was right earlier. Being here tonight really has become unbearable.

It must be unbearable to Leo too, because he puts on the radio after a while.

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock

Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time

Dancin’ and prancin’ in Jingle Bell Square

In the frosty air~

David groans and bangs his head against the wall of the car. “Not this GODDAM SONG AGAIN!”

Jude and Leo burst out laughing.

The quiet of the car doesn’t break even as the song fades out and changes to another, but David’s little outburst has popped some of the tension that was hanging in the air. With the music in the background and David grumbling about rioting, Jude is able to pull his logical brain back from the depths of the hell that is his mind. If he really thinks about it, the reason that they are going home now is because it is just late at night. Maybe Jude having a panic attack ended their night a little prematurely, but he certainly didn’t ruin it. There’s some awkwardness in the car, but neither of them seem mad at him. He still feels back about what happened (especially because he took attention from Leo) but it isn’t the end of the world. He just has to keep telling himself that.

They are not going to stop hanging out with him over one panic attack.

Leo said he wants David and Jude to come, therefore he must enjoy both of their company.

They had a good time talking and playing around.

It was a good night.

Jude did not ruin it.

He did not ruin it.

It’s fine.

As they pull up to Jude’s apartment complex, Leo finally speaks up. He turns around in the seat so that he can look at Jude. “Jude… Before you go I wanted to apologize. I’m not really sure what happened back there, but I’m sorry if I caused it. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or scare you or something.”

“Wha- no! That wasn’t your fault!” Jude says. “It was… I just…” He can’t seem to reach for what he wants to say.

David, in the same way he encouraged Leo earlier that evening, says, “It’s okay Jude. Take your time.”

Even though they’re just words, the fact that David said them almost helps Jude take a breath and reassess. Why exactly did he freak out? Leo had his arm around him and had pressed Jude against his side. He joked that he would leave David for Jude. When Jude thinks about it now, both of these things just seem silly. Jude loves to be touched and held. He was perfectly happy pressed against Leo’s side up until the point that he started talking about “leaving David”, but that was a joke. A joke. It doesn’t mean anything. Obviously he would never leave David for Jude, and Jude would never want him to. Was it that, on some level, the conversation implied some kind of betrayal?

Jude thinks about that and it makes his gut squirm. Neither of them would betray each other like that. And Jude wouldn’t ever want to betray either of them like that. No matter how much he wants them, he wants them to be happy even more. And they’re happy with each other.

Even with all this thinking, Jude is unable to come up with something to say. To try to explain seems way too complicated, plus it would require him revealing that he likes them in a not-so-friendly manner.

Instead of giving any real explanation, Jude shrugs. “I don’t know. It wasn’t anything important… but it wasn’t your fault! It just… happens sometimes.”

“Do you have panic attacks like that often?” David asks. It’s clear that he’s trying to sound neutral, but some concern peeks through the cracks.

“I have them… sometimes. I don’t think it’s that often.” Jude says without confidence.

“How often is sometimes?” David asks.

Jude tries to think of what would be a reasonable number. “A few times a week?” His statement sounds more like a question.

“That… is a lot of panic attacks.” David says. If David thinks that's a lot, Jude is glad that he didn’t tell him the real number. “Have you ever talked to someone about that? Like a doctor?”

“Eh… no. I never thought about bringing it up.” Jude says. The real answer to this would be that Jude has not seen a doctor since he was twelve and he has no intention of seeing one ever again.

“Maybe you should. You wouldn’t want something like this to get out of hand. Mental health is really important to keep track of.” Jude feels like David is prodding too hard. He doesn’t really want him to be concerned in this manner. It makes Jude feel nervous.

“Thank you for the advice, Nurse David.” Jude manages to add some humor into his voice and David grins a little bit.

“What can I say? I just want to make sure you’re healthy.” David says.

Jude lets out a quiet laugh as he finally exits the van. He waves at them as the drive off before he heads upstairs to his apartment. Once inside, he practically falls onto his new mattress. He hasn’t gotten a bed-frame yet, though he’s 99% sure they’re unnecessary anyways so he may never get one.

He lays in bed in the quiet night for a while before rolling over and reaching for the small radio he has by his bed. Jude turns it on and sighs as the quiet music filters into the room. Today had a lot of ups and downs. He can’t quite call it a good day, but he won’t let himself call it a bad one either. It was just a day. A day spent with his friends. His friends who don’t mind when he acts a little strange… or a lot strange. He didn’t ruin anything.

Jude is halfway to a spiral again when he realizes what song is on and starts laughing. He can almost hear David screaming from here.

What a bright time, it’s the right time

To rock the night away

Jingle bell time is a swell time

To go glidin’ in a one-horse sleigh~

Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet

Jingle around the clock

Mix and a-mingle in the jinglin’ feet~

“That’s the jingle bell, that’s the jingle bell, that’s the jingle bell rock!” Jude sings the last few lines and is able to smile to himself. Everything is okay. He’s warm. He’s in his apartment. David and Leo are his friends. That is enough. He takes a breath and tries to ignore the doubts that always claw at him. David and Leo are his friends. That has not changed.

Links to:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

#jude totally doesn't have a crush #jude brian #leo lancaster #jeremiah lancaster #leonard lancaster (mentioned)#david wilson #nurse david #original story #original character #long post #almost 5000 words lol #anxiety #panic attack #mentioned death of a character #darrius hudson jr (mentioned)

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sokkastyles · 2 years

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Let’s Read ATLA: The Search pp1-30

We open on a quaint little sepia-toned town.

Guys, I'm sorry, but Ikem is adorable why do y'all hate him so much?

Also, I like how Love Amongst the Dragons mirrors the plot of this comic on a meta level. Might compose another post on it when I’ve read the whole comic because I have Thoughts.

This comic wants me to think that Katara is a killjoy and Zuko has family issues. What I actually think: zutara zutara zutara zutara zu-

In case you forgot, it's blaming Zuko for his family's abuse of him hours! Seriously, fuck this guy. I mean, I guess I can see how someone from the Earth Kingdom might feel especially negatively towards the teenage son of the tyrant of the nation that terrorized yours for a hundred years, but the problem is that the comic seems to agree with this sentiment. I can also see how Zuko would blame himself, but again, the problem is that the comic seems to agree.

Something I noticed about Aang's characterization in the Promise that also continues here is that while in the series he was whimsical and cheerful, he wasn't really clueless - even in the moments when the writers were using him to promote their nice guy narrative - but in the comics he often is, to the point of insensitivity, and it seems very out of character.

Also like, I cannot express how much I hate this plot line. No, Zuko, your family's dysfunction is not a reflection of you, as a person or as a ruler or of your nation. Zuko isn't even the one who made the decision about putting Ozai in prison. Even if it had been his decision, he is not wrong for doing something to protect himself as well as the world (and that goes for Azula as well), but he wasn't the one who made that decision, about Ozai OR Azula. What to do about Ozai and Azula was out of his hands because Aang and Katara were the ones who won those battles, and now Zuko is left to deal with the fallout. Which isn't their fault, either, but Zuko is left dealing with making the decision about what to do about family who would have not hesitated to kill him if they were in the opposite position, and he's still beating himself up over it, and it’s just sad, and not in the cathartic kind of way, either.

And Ursa, while I do want Zuko to find her, this shouldn't be the reason. And Zuko certainly isn't responsible for what happened to her.

The message here should not be that Zuko needs to somehow fix his family, especially when it comes to Ozai and Azula, who are not his responsibility and who are the ones who rejected him. Aang should have said "Zuko, we're your family and your family is from all over the world, not just the Fire Nation" and that would have fit with the theme of harmony between the nations and the idea of creating a new world.

Ursa's mother tearfully telling her to remember that she loves her as she says goodbye to her forever, and Ursa's father telling Ursa to "show respect” mirror her children’s relationship with their parents as well.

"It's almost as if Roku tried to hide you from us!" Ohohoho!

This raises a whole bunch of questions, though. Why would Azulon want to marry his second son to Roku's bloodline when Iroh is still in line for the throne? My headcanon is that Iroh married for love and was able to defy Azulon due to being the favored son, but usually I like to imagine that Iroh didn't marry at all and had Lu Ten out of wedlock. Or maybe they just couldn’t find Roku’s descendents before now and it’s too late for Iroh to get married (because his wife died and he refuses to remarry, or whatever reason. I still like the idea that Iroh is just an adamant bachelor.)

1. The dialogue is so bad it physically hurts me.

2. Why are they having this conversation while watching Ozai and Azula stare each other down?

3. Wait, Republic City is Aang's idea, now, and Zuko is saying it's too idealistic, when last time it was Aang saying that the four nations had to be separate while Zuko was the one trying to protect the people of Yu Dao?

4. "My usual dour self."

Azula could have been chi-blocked to begin with. There are like, a million things they could come up with to solve the problem of her firebending, but instead they go for the straight jacket and the Girl, Interrupted look. Thanks, I hate it.

Azula and Ozai both know they can manipulate Zuko exactly because of his compassion. I still don't buy that this is the best chance of finding Ursa, though.

What Azula doesn’t understand about controlling people through fear is that it is never going to get you more than shallow loyalty at best. Ty Lee didn’t defy Azula because she stopped fearing her, but because her love for Ty Lee was stronger. You don’t stop being afraid, you decide that there are things more important than fear.

Meanwhile, in sepia flashback land, Ursa is being taken away to marry Ozai and Ikem tries to um, fight the carriage?

"Whatever it is they're offering, it isn't worth the pain of never again belonging." Who wrote this dialogue I just want to talk. I don't think I like you anymore, Ikem.

Cut to Zuko, who is escorting Azula from the prison to the palace. Suki warns that the chi block will wear off soon, and Zuko is like, lol no it's fine I got this. This comic is really just a series of people saying nothing could possibly go wrong before things inevitably go wrong.

I don’t think that’s quite how it works, Azula, but that’s some nice, ahem, bending there,

In the flashback, Ikem is sad and decides to become a hermit or something idk, and then he meets a spooky wolf spirit voiced by Gillian Anderson.

Back at the palace, Zuko is chasing after the newly escaped Azula.

What is this, a videogame?

It’s interesting that Azula doesn’t say that Ozai showed her the secret chamber or she found it but didn’t know who it belonged to, she says that it’s one of Ozai’s many secret chambers and said Zuko should have come exploring with her but his fear held him back. Because Azula didn’t fear Ozai the way Zuko did. Which, of course, does not mean that Azula wasn’t also abused, but Azula didn’t have to think that she’d be punished for something like going where she wasn’t allowed or eavesdropping on their father’s conversations. And the fact that Azula was able to get this information out of Ozai whereas Zuko didn’t even know that this part of the palace existed shows how purposefully Zuko was kept out of the loop, how they were raised differently, and Azula’s rubbing that in his face, too, because it’s power she has over Zuko even when she’s his prisoner.

She hid one of the letters while making Zuko think she destroyed them all.

Yeah, still don’t like this “Azula is hallucinating Ursa” plot. It denies Azula agency as a sympathetic character and as a villain. The Azula of the series is tragic but also extremely intelligent and Machiavellian.

It is kind of interesting that she says Ozai “overcame her control” though, because if Azula believes that Ursa is somehow controlling things, she doesn’t have to acknowledge that her father is to blame for the way her life went. Which is also why she believed Ursa hated her in the series, because then she doesn’t have to acknowledge that her father denied her a relationship with her mother. There are ways to get this across without a “crazy woman” plot, though.

Also, this raises other questions if Azula really is supposed to be hallucinating Ursa. Azula alternates very quickly between acknowledging that Ursa is not there - talking about finding her - and talking about her as if she is there in the room. I know this is because she is supposed to be “crazy,” but people who have psychotic delusions usually experience them as if they are real. They can learn to hide their delusions from other people if they realize that other people react negatively to them, but they still experience them as if they are real. Since Azula’s been in an institution she would probably be trying to hide the fact that Ursa was “there” in front of Zuko, especially since Zuko wants Azula to help him find Ursa, and especially after Zuko has a negative reaction to her behavior, “what’s wrong with you?” But I don’t think this comic is too concerned with accurate portrayals of mental illness.

What was the condition? We will have to find out next time, because there’s another time jump. And that’s for another post.

#atla comics #the search #atla comics critical #zuko #azula #ozai #ursa #ikem #abuse cw #mental illness cw

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coffeeandritalin · 1 year

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Reactions and questions as I watch episode 3 of Cang Yue Jin Ming/Till the End of the Moon. (Possibility of spoilers ahead)

What... how is a frog alive and hopping around in the dead of winter? Actually, now that we mention it... how are all these birds alive in winter? Like I'll give that one crow a pass because it's a magical telepathic crow, but the frog??

He's basically an evil Disney princess

Can you even feel someone's temperature through their bangs?

X-D she absolutely should never ever work for a spy agency

Are they not cold!? I mean IRL, they're probably not... but look how heavily it's "snowing"!

I'm glad she's coming around to the "maybe treating people like absolute sh** will make them build resentment and cause them to lash out" idea...

I mean... sir, you do act very strangely... sigh. But I guess it's fair that he's super jaded and traumatized.

Oh dear... does she actually know what she's doing with those sewing supplies?

Sir! Sir! You are letting all the heat out! What is wrong with you people?

I like how she's trying to be kind to him, and he just thinks she's gone off the bender X-D

Oh no! The older brother is going to be a d*ck!

Awwwww the first time he's speaking up about being bullied is because someone f*cked up the pretty new coat his wife bought him <3

What's with the dramatic camera shot of his hand? What does this mean??

I like that the guys get some pretty, dangly hair accessories, too. Still not as elaborate and large as the ladies, but still - exciting stuff for me *kira eyes*

Sigh why do emperors always need to weaken their strongest military generals -_- (I mean... I get why... but these emperors need to watch more cdramas. Those ploys never end up well.)

Wtf. Who this? Shouldn't the maid have warned LSS/YXW that there was still a person living here?

D*** this nanny looks super young too. Just... everyone in Sheng Guo found the fountain of youth I guess.

The question still stands. Everyone seems to approve of Sixth Prince with YBC. Why aren't they already married? Oh I guess the emperor is hesitant because he's playing the paranoid emperor trope.

TTJ sweetie... how about we lie for now and then just not report anything -_-. TTJ too honesty for his own good. No wonder he didn't survive the palace.

I agree... Steward Wu does indeed talk too much.

But also, how did they get TTJ's level of volume back in the day? DId they have an ancient form of a blow dryer or hair spray? It looks fabulous.

Lol Steward Wu is a caricature of a bad guy and it's mildly amusing (for now... I'll probably get tired of it in 5 min)

ooooh no..... i needed trigger warning for that... warning for others that don't like bugs... a wasp flies into Steward Wu's ear >.< eeeuuughhhhh.... nuuuuuu (like it was fake looking, but it still freaks me out... nuuu why....)

oh.... well... guess I won't be getting tired of Steward Wu anymore...

oooh nooo.... another warning... they showed the wasp crawling back out T.T

I guess there were TTJ has been getting little moments of revenge before now. Or maybe he's only just started. Not clear. but d***.

Oh... Xiao Lin has been cultivating... so is he the shixiong????

Junior Martial Uncle is from Xiaoyao sect, but LSS called GYJW shixiong which would imply he's from the Hengyang sect... I'm so confused about the relationship of these two sects and also who is from what sect... Also, is Xiao Lin (sorry I can't use XL for anyone except Xie Lian) GYJW or not?? THE MYSTERIES!

LMAO junior martial uncle's face... he's like... "son... you are such a killjoy" X-D

KITTY!!!!!!!!

Oooh... YBC being kind of shady here... why not announce yourself? (Like I wouldn't either... but in cdramas this is usually sus)

I bet this an intentional misunderstanding. Like that magical crow ordered the wasp to attack Steward Wu and it wasn't actually TTJ's doing.

Nuuuuu he was just starting to build a little bit of trust toward her T.T.

Yeah... again... what's going on with that right hand of his. OH! Is that where the evil bone is!?

Oh. Previous theory canceled. TTJ did order the wasp. Womp womp.

YXW (thinking): gotta trick the truth out of him... YXW (speaking): you know anything about the dude dropping dead in the palace today?

Again... warning to all spy agencies throughout the universe... do not hire this woman X-D

Wow! She just outs herself. *face palms* This woman is on another level.

LMAO X-D. She's just sits and gets ready to enjoy his strip show X-D.

*watches as lady demon just clouds into the palace* But for real... what were they expecting regular mortal humans to do against a demon? *smh*

Oh no! The nanny!

hmmm... "This was mine to begin with" - what was?

OH! She's actually in PJs! And her hair accessory is out! Hurrah! But also at what point did she change/undress? She definitely got under the covers fully clothed and accessorized. Does Chuntao come in at night to get her into jammies?

Oh! There's something demonic inside her? The plot clumpens...

Oh my bad. This is Ye Bingchang. Huh! Even more sus and interesting.... The plot clumpens further...

X-D There's a minimum of 6 buns in that bowl. And then that's 7 lol.

I love that he just thinks she's off her rocker and has gone crazy X-D.

KITTY!

Omg I love Pang Ziyi.

Hmmm... he doesn't seem all that worried about rescuing YBC... was he just faking liking her? Or does he simply just prefer keeping his secret safe over liking her?

She stole his cat! X-D

Is this lady demon going to try and pick up TTJ for her garden and get caught or something as a result?

Wait... why would the nanny have memories of him eating that pastry? She wasn't there. ALso, why would she have memories of him kneeling on ice in Ye Manor? She def wasn't there... mentally or physically...

Really? She's afraid of a crow? Well... i guess they are bad omens and harbingers of evil...

It's kind of sweet that he has the crow keep its distance away from YXW.

Ooooh... he writes with his left hand eh? Oh... no. he was just disguising his handwriting. Fair... But... that lefthanded calligraphy is ridiculously good. Like does he practice on the reg for just in case moments like this??

Hmmm she's grabbing his right hand. Is that going to be a problem for him?

Now kith.

Pang Ziyi. Sir, you are perfectly useless, and I love you for it. His biggest contribution thus far was saving YXW from a crow. What a king. Lmao he's even acknowledging that his junior is more competent than him. All of this is excellent.

Lmao hilarious. Xiao Lin ends up actually getting the secret note from TTJ. (Side note, Xiao Lin's hair and accessories are so pretty <3)

Hm. Was his hair piece always this elaborate and fancy? I mean he looks very good. But... he's gone from a single hairpin to this fancy hair crown.

What. He caught her and they fell together. Why are they so far apart now and facing opposite directions. Did they horizontally ballerina twirl away from each other as they fell?

Ooooh his telepathy with creature comes from his tribe/mama... not from the evil bone.

I really like this song.

Huh... i really had a lot of reactions and thoughts today... Hope that kitty is ok!

#psst... i'm not actually angry about the heat escaping...#it's just a throw back to all those times being yelled at for leaving the door ajar for a tad bit too long because... the a/c!!#till the end of the moon #cyjm #cyjm ep 3 #coffee watches cdramas

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thegeminisage · 6 months

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QUICK update on the end of tng season 1 since i didn't have time last night. yesterday i watched "we'll always have paris" and then last night we also caught "conspiracy" and "the neutral zone."

we'll always have paris: NOT as bad as i feared. i did think picard making eyes at his ex for 20 minutes while her husband was dying in sickbay was kind of shitty of both of them but i REALLY liked the time distortion. it was soooo spooky and cool the elevator thing genuinely wigged me the fuck out

EVERY time picard tells data to stop talking i want to kill him <3

i'm surprised beverly didn't have a moment at the end where picard like offered her a kind word or something to help her with her Problems this episode but actually all she did was tell deanna she didn't want to talk about it and that was the end. ik it's doing her dirty but i actually respect her for that. none of anybody's business. i wish she'd stop crushing on picard though i feel like she could do better

anyway data's big moment at the end was very cool. i trust him so much he's my best friend

conspiracy: bugs bad. ohhh my god i can't believe none of you warned me

anyway it's weird because this should have been the season finale, given that it was brought up multiple times previously. or maybe only one time?

also love and light captain picard is the DUMBEST bitch on the face of this earth or galaxy or whatever. what part of KEEP IT A SECRET did he not understand...first he told deanna dnt hen will and then his ENTIRE bridge crew and then he went to confront the bad guys directly! yes it worked out for him but sir what the fucj

i did like that starfleet guys were basically getting hullened. killjoys i miss you. liked it less that there were BUGS.

i LOVED the riker fakeout but unfortunately i was hiding my eyes during that part because again, bugs

were walker and wesley's dad and picard like the three musketeers of tos...was this the implication...man that sucks. i would have actually been interested in that relationship if they had bothered to comment on it at all

VERY exciting to see a vulcan again!! so unfortunate that he was hullened.

anyway, for the buildup it got the actual resolution felt anticlimactic and very easily solved and it WASN'T EVEN. the season finale. whatever, tng

the neutral zone: WE'RE SO BACK. i like how this whole episode was an excuse for the romulans to be like lol we're back. that's an extremely bad and dumb premise but good for them

love that worf is anti-romulan. sorry about your parents king

those frozen bitches made me so mad. well just that one guy. i wanted picard to give him the business so bad. like when mike threw that fork in the bear. i don't even like picard and i would have been cheering him on. unfortunately he did not yell at the capitalist. even when the capitalist SNUCK ONTO THE BRIDGE.

guy with a southern accent did a good job. too good. don't like that

i felt the worst for the blonde woman bc she didn't ask for this but picard to will was like i need you to keep these people under control and he didn't and then he said to deanna i need to to keep these people undercontrol and then love and light she just hung out with this lady all episode. then when he was like (to security) gyet this man off the bridge they just stopped and stared at the romulans. what are we fucking doing on this ship

anyway even for all that data was right to revive them i can't believe so many people were incredulous that he wanted to do the compassionate thing and rescue a derelict vessel with human beings aboard. i thought starfleet was all about that shit?? jesus christ

anyway we are about to do "the child" and the summary looks bad so pray. pray.

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb

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oh-holy-slut · 3 years

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Bloodlust

Pairing: Damon Salvatore x fem!reader

Warnings: smut, explicit language, blood sharing, mentions of death, oral sex

Word Count: 2,6k

Summary: Stefan forced Damon to try his animal diet. Damon hated it, but didn't had a choice... until Reader makes a suggestion. Suddenly things get steamy.

Being with Damon was complicated. Him and Y/N have seen each other a lot in the past weeks. The two of them had a lot of fun; saw a lot of movies. Actually, Y/N was sure Damon secretly hated many of those. However, anytime Y/N suggested another dramatic, romantic cliché movie like "Last Song" - the vampire groaned, put his arm around her shoulder, let her head rest on his chest and endured every single second of the movie of her choice.

Damon even flirted and teased Y/N here and there, but didn't lead to anything more intimate so far.

Today was another of those days. Y/N stuck around at the Salvatore boarding house, brought a few of Damon's favorite groceries and a bunch of movies, of which she thought that they will suit his taste. Even if they were a little to bloody and brutal in her opinion.

"Pick one!", she demanded, holding all three Blu-ray sleeves in front of him. Damon just shrugged, not bothering to even look.

"Don't be a killjoy, Damon Salvatore!" Y/N sighed.

"Tell me what's wrong or pick a movie. You've got no choice. And besides that... Which number of drink is this?" Y/N frowned, pointing at the liquor in her friends hand. Damon usually consumed his beloved bourbon with pleasure.

But the man on the couch didn't seem pleasured at all. His facial features totally hardened and a look in his eyes like he was ready to rip someone's heart out.

You put the disc's back in your handbag, closing the zipper and put the bag on the floor.

"Fine. No movie night today. Who are we going to kill?"

A small smirk appeared on Damon's lips, finally looking towards Y/N.

"Stefan and his hero hair. He made me go vegetarian... well, for a vampire... and I can't get myself to eat one of those chipmunks, bunnies or bambis." He shook himself with disgust.

"And why did he count you in? You clearly aren't excited about the changing... So, why did you agree?"

"He said, he would kill me, which is kinda funny. But-" Damon made a wide gesture "he stole my daylight ring. And he wouldn't give it back until I stop feeding on innocent people - and kill them."

"So, you truly let your younger brother blackmail you like that?! Wow... I don't know how to feel about your dieting or your new path. Or whatever this is supposed to be."

"You don't like me killing people either", Damon maintained, while taking another sip of bourbon.

"Well, I don't", Y/N agreed, took a step forward, stole the glass from the vampires hand and put it on a small table nearby. "But I don't believe in forcing as a method to get people to change their minds. I believe that change for the better must be an intrinsic motivation," she added quickly, giving the vampire an innocent smile.

Damon's lineaments suddenly turned from annoyed to curious. "Any suggestions, little one?" The vampire raised an eyebrow and a little smirk showed up on his lips. On the one hand, Y/N blushed over the nickname, Damon called her. On the other hand she felt skittish looking forward to making a deal with him. Not only a deal. It's far more than a simple agreement.

It's Y/N, actually giving Damon a part of her. The red elixir of life. She was about to give him total control of her body and she not even for a heartbeat doubt that Damon will use it against her.

"Actually... Yeah. There's something on my mind." Y/N said chewing on your lip. "I could open up a vein for you. I mean, you could feed on me. And since you have my permission, there's nothing for anybody to have objection about."

Damon frowned and gave her an incredulous look. "You would do that for me?" The vampire couldn't believe, he understood correctly. Why would Y/N want to get involved with him feeding on her? What's in it for her? Damon tried hard to connect the dots, but he wasn't able to. It all seemed to make no sense. Y/N wouldn't have an advantage of that. The vampire hesitated, pinning his dangerously blue eyes on the girl in front of him.

"Is it so suspicious of me, that I'm trying to help my closest friend?" It pierced Y/N's heart, realizing, Damon's trust in her was rather fragile. "Never mind", she waved the pain away and forced herself to keep her composure. "I only had a hasty idea; you really don't need to fee-"

Suddenly Damon appeared behind Y/N, using his vampirism. "Shhhh", he whispered softly. "I never said, that I don't want your blood. I'm thinking about if we are going to cross a line? Blood sharing can be very personal..."

"It can be? It is personal already. Believe it or not - I'm not gonna offer my veins to all the vampires of Mystic Falls." Y/N rolled her eyes, her arms folded on her chest to point out the indignation she felt right now.

"Kinda sensitive today, huh?" Damon gently stroke a strand of hair behind her ear, Y/N could hear this smug smirk through his words. It was a true 'Damon thing' to do. "I didn't mean it like that, princess." He sighed; unsure if he should agree or not. Damon didn't want to act selfish towards Y/N. He compelled a lot of girls for the purpose of drinking blood in the past. He literally used them as long as they weren't too annoying - and then he acted like they have never met. Damon Salvatore couldn't imagine this scenario with Y/N. They've been so close, the vampire couldn't stand loosing her. The offer was risky, but it also could bring each other even closer.

Damon tried hard to avoid any serious attraction between Y/N and him, afraid of messing up. Indeed, he found himself thinking, and even dreaming, about Y/N more than he wanted to admit. She was smart and had this special sense of humor, the vampire adored so much. She was the only one, who could make him feel good no matter what. Needless to say she had that glimmer in her eyes, when she did something she truly loved. In these moments she was even more pretty. Y/N was hard to resist.

And maybe now he could have her like nobody else. At least the vampire gave in. He wanted her blood. He wanted her.

Y/N flinched by the feeling of Damon brushing her neck with his lips. "Oh, Damon", she gasped. "Bite me." Y/N almost begged for the vampire's teeth breaking through her skin. Damon loved the sound of her husky voice. In less than a heartbeat he turned into his vampire shape. "If you insist", he grinned devilishly, ready to place his teeth on to her skin.

Suddenly Y/N made a slight move forward with the intention to interrupt her friend. "Did you change your mind?" Damon was close to switching back to human, overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. Mostly a lack of understanding, but also a little of disappointment and even anger. Was Y/N playing games on him? While Damon Salvatore was sorting feelings, Y/N turned around, standing now in front of him.

She was so close, not even a piece of paper would fit between them.

Y/N slightly exhaled breath, her eyes darting between the vampires eyes and lips. It was the first time Y/N saw him like this. The icy blue of his eyes, she loved so much, has turned darker. Purple veins appeared under his eyes; Y/N couldn't help herself. Damon's appearance fully intoxicated every fibre of her being. Her fingertips found their way gently brushing over his dark purple veins. She felt heat and softness, while tracing one of them. It took her a few seconds to get out of trance, realizing what she had done. "Sorry", she murmured with a voice barely audible. "Don't apologize, little one." Damon tilted his head, his lips curled up in a self-assured grin, exposing a perfectly white vampire fang. "I never saw you like this before, you loo-"

"... look like a monster?"

Y/N shook her head. It was nothing like that. Yes, he did look unfamiliar. And she should be scared under normal conditions. Instead, his look hit her in an unexpected way. He looked hotter as a vampire, if it was even possible.

Y/N cleared her throat, looking up at Damon. "I feel... attracted to you."

"So nothing's changed", Damon teased, raising his eyebrows. The girl in front of him softly slapped him on his shoulder; which was only possible because the vampire permitted. "You are always so full of yourself." She smirked, feeling more confident being to something, they have had been so many times before. Granted, he was terrifying accurate, but she wouldn't serve her feelings on a silver platter.

"I'm still into it. You can bite me; feed on me. I only needed to see you before..."

A shockwave of electricity flowed through her body the second Damon took her hand and pulled her close.

"I'll be careful", he promised, nuzzling his head into the nap of her neck. Damon once again placed his lips on her soft skin.

Suddenly a harsh pain made Y/N feel like in a kind of haze. She flinched and let out a groan at the same time, unintentionally biting her lower lip.

During Damon embedded his fang deeper and deeper, she started feeling dizzy. Her hands searched for the vampires upper body, finally wrapped around his neck. She needed him to lean on. A narrow trickle of blood flowed down her neck. Let Damon feed on her felt like flames licking up every fiber of her body.

With every passing second Y/N could feel her control slip away. Her body was now firmly pressed against Damon's, like she would want to merge them into one.

Damon noticed her staggering, wrapped his arms around her waist, supporting her.

Bloodlust already messed up the vampires mind, so he continued feeding on Y/N.

A tempting moan escaped her lips, but she didn't care to cover up. Y/N's heart was racing, her eyes flattering. It was almost as if he was about to push her over the edge, but in a different way. "Mmm, this...this… feels soo weird... and so good...", she whispered under a shallow breath.

As soon as Damon heard her fading voice, he abruptly

quitted drinking from her.

"Fuck!" He rapidly laid her on his lap and checked Y/N's vital signs, to make sure she was okay. Instinctively he bit his wrist, pressed it against Y/N's mouth. He knew his blood would heal her, but it wasn't going fast enough. A few seconds passed through, to him they felt like centuries. Y/N finally blinked and Damon was relieved. He cupped her cheeks, his gaze never leaving hers. "I thought, I'd gone-" Damon cleaned his throat. "I'm so glad, you are doing well", he whispered, while trailing her lips with his fingertips. "So, fuckin' glad..." The vampire exhaled a deep breath.

"It... You made me feel good. Strange, but good", Y/N appeased and flushed over the memory. "Maybe you got a little carried away, but I don't mind. I wouldn't trade the feeling for anything."

Y/N quickly interrupted herself, before she could reveal too much.

However, Damon used his vampire skills, noticing that Y/N was hiding something from him. "Isn't there anything else you want me to know?", Damon asked without taking his eyes off her. Y/N shifted and flushed even more. "It's unfair. You use your vampirism to get everything out of me."

"Well, if that were the case, I could easily compel you." Damon shrugged and found back to his smugly self. "Tell me, what you are hiding". He said in a seductive voice.

"I wanted to get lost in you."

Her confession sent shivers all over the vampires body. At first he could not decide, how to handle this. "Are you sure that's what you want? I could really hurt you..." Y/N hummed.

In the next split second, Damon pinned Y/N against a wall, smashing his lips on hers, kissing her with all the passion he had to give. The vampire devoured Y/N with a new kind of hunger. He didn't know he could crave someone so much.

"Fuck me, Damon..."

The vampire felt him getting hard, only by hearing those little three words out of her mouth.

"Say it louder. Tell me, what you want me to do."

Y/N pulled him closer, gently biting his earlobe.

"Fuck... me, Damon." It took her a second to focus and forming the words again. After she was near to climax earlier, it wasn't a long way getting to the edge once more. "Make me cum... You almost had me there..."

A deep moan got over the vampires lips, once he understood, what Y/N was trying to tell him.

With the next blink Y/N found herself in Damon's bedroom, lying on his bed.

From now on there weren't many words needed. Damon's hand's found their way under her shirt, cupping her breasts and make her moan over and over again.

He closely listened to the rhythm of her heart, making sure he would be able to delay her climax to the point he needed her to.

"Don't cum yet... I want to taste your little pussy first."

Y/N grabbed the vampires head, running her fingers through his dark hair - pushing him down, since she was unable to form a single word.

As Damon got down, he didn't take his eyes off Y/N.

He used a hand pushing up her skirt and lightly stroking over her panties with his fingertips.

"My girl is so wet", he praised in a low husky voice."-and I barely touched you."

His dirty words in combination with his touch lead to another moan, almost turned into a scream.

Damon pushed the fabric aside, leaving sloppy kisses on the inside of her thighs.

Y/N's eyes fluttered, when his soft lips reached her middle.

Damon's tongue licking around her entrance was driving her nuts.

"...so delicious..." were the only words she was able to catch up. Damon knew, he couldn't thrill her forever, so he got back to her. He spit on his palms, stroking his hand over his crotch. In under a second Y/N finally felt this releasing pressure of his cock. It was like a switch went off in her brain and she braced herself for the hard thrusts that would follow.

Damon dimmed the whining noises Y/N made with a passionate, hungry kiss.

He cheated with his vampirism to give it to her deeper and faster, knocking out all the air of her lungs while Y/N screamed out Damon's name. Her walls clenched around him and made him twitch. It was like her pussy massaged his dick the best way possible.

Every time he hit her harder and rougher he was making sure he hit her spot with every thrust.

Damon gathered speed one last time and pushed her over the edge until she was a moaning whimpering mess.

With her last contraction around his shaft, Damon was cumming inside her.

"You are so tight, little one", he whispered under his breath. "We should make arrangements more often."

Please like or/and reblog if you enjoyed reading or/and want me to write more stories about Damon.

Thanks guys ❤️

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moemoemammon · 3 years

Note

(Two things, 1. This is my first time requesting so I'm sorry if this is not the thing to do it, and 2. Sorry if somethings is misspelled or grammatically incorrect, eng is not my first language:p)

May I request some of the bros, specially Mammon, Luci and Satan, with a MC who's similar to Lucifer in some aspects (like, some of their manners are the same as his and sometimes they're little bit too strict) and after a while they discover that its bc MC is also an older sibling. And (only if you want) meeting their younger sibling, please 🙏

Btw love your works ♡♡♡

Lucifer Number 2~

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

It doesn't occur to Lucifer how similar the two of you are, but the first thing he realizes is how pleasant conversations with you can be. You both share common interests, your tastes suit his own, and you seem to be the only competent person in this house.

You're the responsible type, and he likes it. He'll sometimes find you scolding his brothers for their behavior too, and as amusing of a sight as that may be, he doesn't want you to be burdened with their idiocy.

AND you're the eldest sibling in your household? Cheers to that. You too know the weight of being the responsible oldest, and the role one must take to ensure their siblings grow up well. You too know that you'd rather your siblings have things easier than you did.

But there's one thing he finds annoying... You can NEVER speak your feelings, and act as if it’d kill you to do so. He can respect secrecy when it's appropriate, but Lucifer would like to know what's on your mind. Not only that, but you can be HORRIBLY headstrong. There's nothing that can stray you away from what you've already decided.

"MC, I request that you take a few days off from school to do as you please. I've already spoken with Diavolo and your professors, and you've been given an excuse. I know you'll study anyway, so I've dropped off your assignments in your room. But... you should rest. It isn't good for you to be pushing yourself so hard. Hm? You're calling me a hypocrite?"

Mammon

As if one Lucifer wasn't enough. Now there's TWO of em?! Why's his luck gotta be so lousy!

Definitely the first to realize how much like Lucifer you are, and was SHOOK. Seriously, what gives?! What horrors exist in the human world that could've made you like THAT..?

Ever since you showed up, it's been impossible to get away with anything! He can't sneak out of the house because you're always there somehow, you tattle on him when you catch him leaving anyone's room, and you won't even let him copy your homework! What gives?!

Avoids you like the plague. You're no fun! There's only rare moments when you're kinda okay, and he likes those the best. The times when you're kinda sensitive and you'll drop the high and mighty act. But then you're back to being a pest!

"For the billionth time, I ain't got time to study! There's money to be made, and a guy like me ain't gonna waste a second lookin' at a dumb book when I could be- H-Huh?! You're gonna call Lucifer?! N-now, there's no need to be so hasty, right? Oi!! I'm sorry, damn it-!"

Levi

What's the deal with Lucifer number two? As comedic of a trope as that may be, Levi doesn't really care for having two nagging types in the house. Especially a human...

When you're in his room, all you do is nitpick about how he should tidy up and open a window! Don't you know that an otaku's room is his pride and joy?! It's a sacred space not to be trampled on by the opinions of a normie!!!

But still... he has to admit that even if you don't get all the stuff he's talking about, you at least try to understand it. And there are even some of his interests that you're genuinely invested in!

You might be a pain in the neck and harass him about annoying things, but he guesses he can deal with it if you'll actually sit through a TSL marathon with him...

"I-I'll lend you this manga, so make sure you read it! And when you're finished with that, I'll lend you the spin-off series by the author's brother! I know you'll like it, since you're interested in gritty stuff. Oh, and- Huh? My laundry? Y-yeah.... I'll do that.."

Satan

You are... surprisingly good company. Satan enjoys talking to you over afternoon tea, and the two of you share stories between one another.

But still, he can't shake the feeling that there's something... unpleasantly familiar about your personality. It isn't until you say something that sounds suspiciously similar to what Lucifer would say that he realizes who you remind him of. And oh, he hates it.

Tries playing pranks on you, but somehow they never go to plan. How that is is beyond him, but you never fall for anything! No matter how sweet his smile, you're always rightfully suspicious. You're annoyingly meticulous about checking your surroundings, and you're so aware of yourself that it's troublesome! Be more gullible!!

The king of petty has decided that its now his life goal to make you fall for at least one of his pranks. He doesn't care how elaborate he has to make it, or how unrewarding the payoff may be. He'll make you pay for seeing his brother in two places at once.

"MC, would you like to join me this afternoon for a book reading? Though, I'd love it if you could read this book in particular. I think you'll find it very-.... Hm? 'Isn't this the cursed book that makes you grow hair all over your body', you ask? Ahaha.... tch."

Asmo

Come now, there can't be TWO killjoys in the house! That's way too depressing!! It was funny at first to see that there's someone who can match the scary Lucifer's energy, but now it's becoming a nuisance!

You won't even go to the countless parties he's invited you to! Hell, you barely even give yourself room to mess around a little? Isn't it boring being so tightly wound? You're in luck, because the adorable Asmo-chan knows the PERFECT way to let loose~

You'll RARELY let him close to you, and that's usually when you're tired of him harassing you. Then he gets the honor of playing with your hair while you've got no energy to fight back! He'll style it wonderfully for you!

Also nags you to take better care of yourself. You're not a demon, so you have to care for your health! These late night study sessions are giving you bags under your eyes! And stop taking on so many extracurricular activities!

"Geez, MC! I didn't think you'd die from overworking, but that's the path you're headed on! You really are like Lucifer, you know? That being said, I'll do my best to make sure you relax! Shall we begin~?"

Beel

Beel may not be too bothered by Lucifer's strictness, but that doesn't mean he's immune to it. To think that even a human can be like that...

It's nice to see that you can take care of yourself, but aren't you working too hard? Your grades are good and you've got many interesting talents, but you also have to properly rest.

Has started bringing you snacks on the regular. And don't even think about skipping meals, because he won't allow it. He'll literally pick you up and bring you to the table if he has to. And if you're staying up late to study? He'll carry you to bed. Don't try to protest.

Beel is your babysitter now and there's nothing you can do about it. It's good to be responsible, but don't think about trying to take care of everyone else if you can't care for yourself. Now eat these twelve meat buns he bought for you.

"MC, let's eat lunch together. I know you were going to skip because I heard you talking to Solomon earlier, and I won't let you. Ah, don't worry about not having money, because I've already bought you some lunch. Let's eat in the courtyard."

Belphie

NO.... IT CAN'T BE... THIS HAS TO BE A NIGHTMARE....HE WANTS TO WAKE UP....

You're such a drag. You harass him to attend student council meetings, but him about his studies, and won't let him avoid a single obligation he has. What are you, his mother?

Has 100% joined forces with Satan to try to make you fall for many, many unsuccessful pranks. Are you curse proof or something? When he tried a '10 hour bed-head' spell on you, it just rebounded right to him! Then he found out that you'd borrowed a spell repelling amulet from Solomon and realized just how prepared you are...

When you aren't bothering his entire soul by trying to make him do things, you're actually nice to talk to. You're knowledgeable, you pay attention to the people around you, and you can always read a room. He likes to ask you for advice sometimes.

"Aren't you tired of being like that all the time? So... attentive, I mean. You should just take a nap some time. Or better yet, take the week off. Maybe I'll teach you how to properly relax? Then you might finally be able to take that stick out of your- ow... What're you hitting me for?"

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anotheranimewriter · 3 years

Text

Past to Present

Request: Hello, can I request ex bf ran when he was in high school with a fem reader that is now dating bonten sanzu pleaseee.

CW: Spoilers Bonten timeline, cursing, and uhhh a little angst and possessive claims from Sanzu..

Italics are flashbacks. This is also super long, but anyways, I hope you all enjoy it!

“So remind me. Why aren’t we going to our regular bar?” Ran asked in a rather bored tone, at this point in time he didn’t really care where they were going as long as a drink was promised. He wanted nothing more than to drown in exhaustion down a bottle of bourbon. “Cause this bar is a bit special, got a cutie who works at the bar.” Sanzu replied cheerily in a sing song voice, automatically setting Ran’s high radar off, forcing a groan to leave his lips, because he knew if Sanzu was off his shit, so would his brother, and one idiot was already too much to babysit but the two of them together was nothing short of a disaster waiting to happen.

“C’mon Ran, I just want to know what this ‘special’ girl looks like.. Don't be a killjoy.” Rindo chimed in as they all continued walking down the crowded streets filled with the many different nightlife characters. “We’re here!” Sanzu yelled, halting in front of a rather nice looking bar “Ahh, so this is why you told us to keep our suits on.” Takeomi noted flicking his cigarette onto the street, as Sanzu nodded before swinging the door open to the bar with all the Bonten men following in pursuit.

Walking towards the bar the men sat down beside one another as Sanzu leaned over the bar looking for his ‘Special’ girl, but to avail as he sunk back into the bar stool with a slight pout on his lips as he folded his arms with a slight ‘Hmph’ slipping from his lips “Where is she?” He mumbled to himself trying to rack his brain onto the different areas she could've been and just as he was going to open his mouth to ask one of the other girls there were a pair of soft hands over his eyes “Guess who?” She asked, and as those words hit Ran’s ears he felt a deep sense of longing grown in him.

“Guess who?” She whispered in Ran’s ear as he chuckled, bringing his hands up to her gently pulling them down as he turned to face her with a smirk, as she pouted “Ran! You're no fun! You’re supposed to guess.” She said, rolling her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her waist “Well I could have guessed.. But what if I guessed wrong?” He teased as she gasped “Mr. Haitani, don't tell me you're seeing other young ladies.” She taunted as he let out a soft chuckle “Well lucky for you (Y/N)-chan, no other girl could ever compare to you.” He replied bending down to place a kiss on her forehead as she let out a sigh looking to the side of him as he smirked. Ran knew exactly what she wanted, and he enjoyed teasing her until she was nearly pleading for the display of affection, and just as he was going to cave in and give her what she wanted the school bell had rung loudly above them.

She leaned forward placing a quick kiss on his lips catching him off guard before she turned away from him waving her ‘goodbye’ to him “Must you always be such a good girl?” He called out with a smirk as he watched her walk away from him “Hmm and here I thought that's what you liked about me Haitani.” She replied before turning down the corner and out of his view. Ran knew that she had him wrapped around her finger, and even though he was one of the ruthless brothers of Roppongi, that never mattered to her nor did it change how she viewed him to her he was Ran Haitani, the boy that had stolen her heart, the boy that made her heart jump and took her breath away and for Ran that was enough. She was all he needed, and he couldn't imagine having someone else, all he needed was his brother and her.

But sadly for them, their happiness would not last that long, it was their official 1 year anniversary of their relationship when things took a turn for the worse. Ran and Rindo had gotten into a street brawl with a few others, they were defending their streets of Roppongi and their reputation, with a manic smirk Ran looked over to his brother who returned his expression as they took out the trash. Just as Ran wiped the blood from his chin he took out his phone to check if he had any notifications, and once the light turned on he raised an eyebrow at all the messages and calls he had missed from (Y/N). “Shit.” He mumbled to himself as he looked towards his brother who simply nodded as a signal to let Ran know he would do the dirty work.

Making his way to her home through the dark back streets and as he neared her house he saw her sitting on her stoop with a sweater wrapped around her “(Y/N). I’m sorry I’m late.” Ran said walking towards her on the porch as she shook her head “You’re sorry? You're late? Ran, where were you?” She asked as Ran stopped and stood in front of her giving her a bored expression “I had to defend me and my brother's honor.” He replied calmly as she let out a dry laugh “Now let me ask you another question. What's today Ran?” She asked, finally meeting his eyes as he took quick notice of the tear stains running along her face.

He stood there trying to rack his brain to see if he could figure out what exactly was so important that she would be crying on her porch, and just as he was going to open his mouth she quickly laughed hysterically “You don't even know do you?” She questioned as Ran stood there with his same stoic facial expression as her body began to shake “Let me bandage you put one last time Ran.” She sighed softly as he shook his head “Why is today so important to you?” He asked wanting to know what exactly was going on. “Today wasn’t just important to me… well I mean now I guess it was.” She mumbled to herself as she looked over at Ran once more “We’ve been together for a year, starting today Ran.” She said, with no anger in her voice, only pure hurt.

“Oh, well then I do apologize for being late.” He replied nonchalantly, he knew he screwed up but he also saw from her body language there was no turning back. There had been nothing but signs over the past weeks, signs of their equal distances, their detachment, but he only took it as her understanding his duties to his brother and those who served under them, he would've never guessed that she was preparing herself for his own defeat. He walked up to her porch slowly as she walked into her home, closing the door behind him and once the door was shut no words were shared between the two of them. It was the last night Ran knew true happiness and love, and he ripped it away from himself with his neglect.

“(Y/N)?” Sanzu teased as he spun in his bar stool grabbing her waist as she laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck as he smiled, kissing her neck as he pulled her closer to him. Once Ran had heard that laugh, all their memories poured in like a movie, it was their movie, young and in love, happy and short lived. “Guys, this is my special girl. (Y/N) these are my co-workers.” Sanzu said turning to face everyone as she was forced to shift with him due to his tight embrace, she smiled at all of the men giving them a slight wave but she felt her body tense up when she was met with a familiar set of eyes “Whoa, you okay there doll? Sanzu asked, rubbing her hips softly as she let out a nervous chuckle “Yeah, I’m okay. I should get ready for my shift.” She replied calmly, turning her face to kiss his cheek before walking into the back.

“So your special girl? She's one of your little playthings Sanzu?” Kakucho asked as he rested his elbow against the bar as Sanzu snickered at the accusation “Nah, I dropped all of those cheap things, she’s my girlfriend. My one and only.” Sanzu replied in his once again cheery sing-song voice as the guys shook their heads in pure disbelief. Rindo lightly patted his brother’s back because he knew the multitude of thoughts running through Ran’s head were not good, because before Ran was the girl he let get away, and she got away into the arms of a ruthless murderer, who he has to look at nearly everyday.

“First rounds on me, boys. So order up.” She said returning from the back with a small apron wrapped around her waist as the boys cheered at the bar placing their orders “Are you on the menu miss?” Sanzu teased as she winked at him “Only after hours cutie.” She replied before walking away to prepare the boys drinks. As Ran turned to Sanzu he couldn't help but feel the pull in his chest as he took note of Sanzu’s eyes, those same eyes Ran once looked at her with, the eyes of love. Only for Ran it was a love he had lost and Sanzu had gained.

“Still drink Bourbon?” (Y/N) asked placing the best glass in front of Ran as he stared at her in confusion, she let out a soft sigh before leaning over the bar to be at ear level. “Sometimes, the things the people you loved, loved, just stick with you.” She whispered as she backed away from him to give his brother a hug, causing Ran to look over at Sanzu who didn’t wear the best reaction but he was necessarily surprised towards her actions with the Haitani brothers. “Rindo told me. He told me the minute I locked eyes with her at the shopping center, and even knowing what I did, I couldn’t stop myself.

I had to understand how the great Ran Haitani could just walk away from a woman like her, and as the simple importu late night visits became late night dates, which led to actual dates, I couldn’t wrap my head around it.” Sanzu commented slowly, circling his finger around the rim of his glass “But now that I have her, I don’t care to know. She’s mine now Haitani, and even though I have a small ounce of respect for you, I will not hesitate to put a bullet through your skull if you get out of line.” Sanzu finished not once raising his voice to cause any alarm between the men, but she knew something was off as she placed her hand over Sanzu’s, and without any words spoken he immediately understood her stance as he flipped their hands over to raise her side to his lips placing a soft kiss on her skin.

“I’m behaving princess.” He said winking at her as she raised an eyebrow to scowl him but decided against it as she carefully removed her hand to attend to the others at the bar. Ran looked between her and Sanzu during their little interaction and he couldn’t help but feel the sting in his chest, as he knew once upon a time it was him giving her that look, and no one else, just her and him. But now it seems like it was nothing short of a dream.

#ran haitani #ran haitani x reader #tokyo revenger imagines #tokyo revengers imagine #tokyo revenger #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu haruchiyo imagine #sanzu haruchiyo imagines #ran haitani imagines #ran haitani imagine #tokyo manji revengers #tokyo revengers #anime imagine #anime imagines

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offbranddrpepsi · 2 years

Note

Do you think any agents have tattoos (other than reyna, and brimstone who I think we've both seen to have tats)? Where? I'm my mind I can't decide if sova would have tattoos or not -sparkle

Ps. I made that side blog and am working on a piece to post there that's inspired by one of your posts, should I @ you or nah?

If you wanna @ me thats fine but also you absolutely don't have too! If you just tag it with the valorant tag i will probably find it anyways but if you do @ me i'll reblog it here! I actually think a fair amount of the agents have tattoos with most being smaller end or hidden under their clothes so below are the break downs of what tattoos i think everyone has!

Brim: i think he has to have the day his best friend died tattooed somewhere on his body as well as maybe a memento tattoo somewhere, that may be what the tattoo on his upper arm is since i don't believe we have seen it

Reyna: ontop of what she has i think she has her sisters name somewhere along with her sisters favorite flower/a flower she associates with her sister. I also think her tattoos she has are somewhat based around marks that appeared on her when she used her powers so she got tattoos over them to make it look more pleasing

Breach: He HAS to have something Norse on his body or something celtic just SOMETHING

Raze: probably has something really nerdy related to explosions as well as some dumb tattoos she got as bets that are just half ass jokes or memes

Cypher: Probably has several meaningful phrases in arabic tattooed on his body, he comes off as someone that has all his tattoos hidden OR has a noticeable one that is now hidden due to his clothes. I fully expect him to have his wifes name and childs name as well as their wedding and birthdates. I also imagine he has the all seeing eye tattooed somewhere on his body or some sort of eye tattoo. He also may have prayers on his body.

Chamber: He has his tour de force tattoos which i semi count because we don't know about the application process but we do know its his two guns. He was in the military and military guys typically get tattoos because fuck it why not so i imagine he may have some tattoo in french thats a really small phrase just hidden probably on his rib cage or leg that he thinks is now stupid/tacky he may even have one of those basic white girl ankle tattoos if you know what those are

Fade: i THINK fades paw print on her shoulder is a tattoo if not a scar from her powers or something like that. I also think she probably has some tattoos mimicking the henna on her hands as well as maybe an evil eye back piece that goes across her entire back

Killjoy: Very simple video game/league of legends tattoo maybe on her wrist/arm. doesnt have many if she has any

Phoenix: boy has a crown somewhere or a phoenix on him, maybe a pair of angel wings on his back stylized to match his fire

Jett: Similar to Raze i think she has a few dumb tattoos/memey ones that she got as bets. I think she my also have a really small but detailed flower tattoo matching her theme/color palette

Sova: I think sova has to have either a variety of nature tattoos probably referenced from photos hes taken OR some really intricate owl tattoo or archer tattoo, there is an owl and an arrow SOME WHERE on this mans body

Omen and Kay/o: they do not have flesh im sorry but i feel Kay/o would have similar tattoos to brim if he could while Omen would probably have VERY elaborate but dark themed tattoos in grey scale

Sage: she probably has a very dorky heart on her ankle as well as some symbolic tattoos relating to her time spent mastering her powers. I think if she ever lost one of the agents she would also get a tattoo to represent them

Viper: This bitch has a snake some where but a very small stylized snake. I think she may also have the names of people shes failed to save somewhere or worked into a bigger piece so she always carries a reminder of them. As a teen i think she got a dorky science tattoo she hides/got removed

Yoru: this mother fucker probably is covered at least on his back/chest. Variety of familial, cultural, and just some of his interests. A lot of his work does fit his family/cultural background and i feel he may also have cherry blossoms woven through out his tattoos.

Neon: i don't think neon has any tattoos mainly because shes anxious about getting them as well as how her powers may affect them. The marks on her skin are radiant related so i don't think they are tattoos, if they are artificial i imagine they are dermal implants to help channel/limit her powers or are something that gets stuck onto her skin/put into some sort of implant.

Skye: she is someone else i don't see as having any tattoos. If she does they are probably very simple stick and poke tattoos or ones she got after she joined valorant. Like sage she would get tattoos to remember those she has lost

Astra: Astra would have many space/astrological tattoos on her body but all small ones. Stars here and there, simple planets etc

#Sparkle #sparkle anon #valorant headcanons #valorant

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adora-but-ginger · 2 years

Text

Holy Ground-Ch.9

Pairings: Matt Murdock x French! Avenger! reader

Warnings: the usual that comes with this series, swearing, someone being drugged unconscious, matt being a stupid little piss boy who can’t express his emotions, angst, a panic attack, yeah i think that’s it.

Word Count: like near 7.5k haha (remember when i said 4k was the most i’ve ever written?)

Chapter: 9/?

Read chapter eight here

Read chapter ten here

Holy Ground masterlist found here

A/N: My first Matt fic! I got inspo from @cressidaclearwood ‘s series, so definitely go check that one out too. Please do not repost my work. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! Want to be added to the taglist? Let me know!

oof so it’s been awhile. some updates: i have been absolutely swamped with midterms, but now that they’re done and over with i can get back to doing what i like--writing! also i just found out that i got accepted into the university i want to transfer to, so that’s super cool. thank you all for baring with me!~L

translations will be at the end of each chapter

She knew it wasn’t smart to sneak out that night. She had been offered a nice, comfortable bed, as well as an actual good night’s sleep here at Matt’s.

Yet, she located the window next to the fire escape, and climbed through it.

She felt like she was taking advantage in some way of what her new friends had offered, but the urge to help protect those who couldn’t protect themselves overshadowed that. She had on clothing that she could move around in, and she figured that if she didn’t do too much tonight, she should be okay. Because while she knew that Karen was a sound sleeper, she had no real clue about Matt. Besides when they fell asleep together.

But that was different.

She assumed Matt must like a breeze because the window was propped open a little already, and from the pile of blankets swamping his body (to a point where she couldn’t even see him), she assumed he was out like a lamp.

She was now perched up on a rooftop that she wasn’t familiar with, trying to grasp the differences from where she usually patrolled from. The sounds of New York always soothed her in a weird way. It was like a breath of fresh air hearing the city that never slept staying true to its word. A weird, slightly odor filled, loud, breath of fresh air.

A noise from behind her snapped her back to the present. She whirled her head to the source and was found in a little bit of an awe. She had no idea how he could find her so easily, and yet her slightly more than acquainted vigilante equal stood before her, standing in that brooding stance that she found nearly laughable.

“Well good to see you too, sunshine.”

“You haven’t been out that much lately.” He pointed out, cocking his head a little to the right as he strode over to her.

“What can I say, I’m a busy gal. I’ve got more to my life than this, you know.” She met him halfway. “This is more of a hobby per-say.”

He ignored her comment and continued past her, brushing her shoulder with his as he moved to the edge of the building. “I have intel on where Fisk is going to be tonight. We should go soon if we want to stay hidden.”

With a roll of her eyes, she ended up next to his side. “Ever the killjoy.” She mumbled to herself, speaking so softly she barely recognized that she said it out loud.

“I heard that, you know.”

She looked at his covered face. “I feel oh so threatened.”

He ignored her again, keeping that serious facade going. “We need a plan. I’ll show you where you’ll be staked out first, along with the surroundings, then I’ll head to my spot. I checked it out before you decided to show up, so I have a pretty good sense of the layout.”

Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry, back it up a second. How did you know I was even here then?”

His response was merely a shrug. “I heard your heartbeat.”

She did a double take. “Man, who are you?”

“I told you, I’m the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.” He spoke with indifference, absolutely no emotion leaving him.

“No, you’re dramatic is what you are. Mr. ‘blah blah I have a secret life and like to hurt bad guys.’” She dropped her voice to as low as it would go, impersonating him as badly as she could. “‘But I don’t kill because I have really weird morals. Wilson Fisk, you’re going down.’”

She hoped he realized she was just speaking in jest, as she actually appreciated his company and his weird morals most of the time. He must have, because seconds later she heard that rough demeanor shatter as a-dare she say it-laugh arose from him.

A familiar laugh.

“I think I preferred you calling me Westley over that.”

She cautiously chuckled at his response, because she recognized that laugh, but she just...couldn’t place it. Testing the waters in an attempt for more intel, she replied as cheekily as she could. “What can I say, I think I know you.” She waited for a response, but if he seemed like that phrase meant anything to him, he didn’t let it show.

“We should get going, Buttercup.”

With realization, her jaw dropped. “Wait a second! Did you watch the movie?” He was already beginning to climb down the side of the building as she stayed frozen in place, amusement coursing through her.

She got no response.

Meeting him on the ground, he barely allowed her time to catch up to him, still staying silent. “You cannot just drop that one liner on me and walk off. What did you think of it? I need to know!” She was now shoulder-to-shoulder with him by this time, matching his quick pace.

That same laugh flowed through him again, and he shook his head. “Come on, we’re almost there, it’s only a few more blocks down.”

She huffed. “Fine, but once we’re done with this, you’re telling me what you thought of it.”

His response, she had to admit, almost made her fall to her knees.

“As you wish.”

It was over. The trial, the waking up at the ass crack of dawn to go to a courthouse, the poorly made coffee offered, all of it just--done. It was like a movie as they all walked out, having been bombarded with camera crews and journalists as soon as the sun hit their eyes. This was a big case, and that meant that the jurors would at least take the rest of the day to come to a decision.

If she thought her anxiety was ever bad before, the feeling she had as she walked down the stone staircase quickly took the gold.

Matt had led the way, walking out first. Foggy and Karen both had an arm over the avenger, all three of their heads ducked as they followed the man in the red spectacles ahead of them. Tailing behind as a bodyguard of sorts was Jimmy Woo, hands on the back of Foggy and Karen. People were screaming their names from every side, nearly crushing them within their sheer amount. The little group was trying to escape as fast they could--Matt had called a car to pick them all up outside the courthouse prior to them leaving, and she couldn’t have been more thankful for him than in that moment.

With the swarm moving from beside them to behind them, she chanced a glance up. She didn’t know what she was expecting, really, but it definitely wasn’t what she saw. Lining the sidewalks were the people of Hell’s Kitchen, shouting and holding up writing on poster boards and cardboard and anything that could have words on it demanding her release. Keeping her face only slightly raised, she showed a smile to those who could see it as she ended her descent of the steps. Shouts and signs saying Team Cap! surrounded her, and she was baffled to say the least. Sporadically she saw and heard those who opposed her, them being people who sided with Tony, but they were nearly drowned out by those on her side. New York had many, many, things wrong with it, but the residents of Hell’s Kitchen protected their own, and they fought like hell for them. There was a reason, after all, as to why it was called Hell’s kitchen.

Almost immediately as the car doors shut, a giant unanimous sigh of relief was heard. Her voice was the first one to become audible. It was soft, gentle, and nervous.

“Now we wait?”

It was Karen who replied.

“Now we wait.”

When they had arrived back at Nelson and Murdock, things took a turn for the worse. Nothing seemed off at first, until everyone briefly parted to their own respective areas. She had walked over with Karen to show Jimmy the newest addition to the office, brought by Karen. It was a little green succulent, decorated with spikes and surrounded in a small pot.

They spoke in unison.

“Il s’appelle Jimmy!”

“We named him after you Jimmy!”

He looked taken aback, to say the least.

“You-what? After me?” His usual hard exterior broke, the hint of a smile cracking through. “That’s actually really sweet of you guys.”

“It was Y/n who thought of it. I just bought the plant.”

She shrugged. “What can I say Woo? She brought it home and we knew it was meant to be.” She held the potted plant in her palms, a fond look on her face as she looked at its details. “You are quite a succulent, Jimmy. I mean that in only good ways, of course. Here.” She gestured for him to place his hands out, to which he obliged, palms together and open. She delicately put the little guy in his hands, him staring at it like someone had just handed him a baby.

“You’re an honourary member of Nelson and Murdock now Jimmy, with the plant and all. So welcome to the team!” Karen put her hands on her hips, and in the distance, Matt’s muffled voice could be heard calling out to Foggy, asking him to come to him. They paid no mind to it though, focusing instead on the green spiky plant.

“Jimmy?” She spoke cautiously, and the nerves could be heard as the word was said.

“Yes?” He looked up at the speedster.

“About the trial...where will they send me if I’m found guilty?” The air turned thick and somber within the instant, Foggy’s footsteps offhandedly being registered within her mind as he rushed over to Matt’s desk.

“I’m not sure I can really tell you th-” he cut himself off as he looked up and met her eyes. They were cold-no not cold-scared. He took a breath, and she realized that he too had sworn to keep some aspects about all of this under wraps when he agreed to her case. It didn’t occur to her until then just how much trust had formed between the pair as his next words left his mouth. “It was house arrest at first, before you pleaded not guilty. Then they talked about the raft again, but thank god that idea was shot down quick. I think at most you’ll be serving a couple years, but...can I be honest with you?” She nodded, to which Jimmy looked around, leaned into the three of them, and whispered. “I think they’re going to rule you not guilty.” He straightened his back out quickly, like he was being listened to. “I’m rooting for you.”

She drew her eyes to the plant, then back up at him. “Thank you, Woo. You’re a good person.”

“And always welcome here.” Karen added in.

She opened her mouth to offer to take back the plant, but Foggy’s worried shouts made themselves heard first.

“Um? Hey Y/n? Can you come here?” His voice sounded strained, and the three looked at each other before she shrugged and headed towards the duo of men.

“...everything alright?” She hesitantly stepped into Matt’s office, peaking her head in before fully entering. She saw Foggy was pinching his fingers on the bridge of his nose, and Matt had a hand over his mouth, his head snapping to her direction as she came into their space.

Their voices were solemn, fear shaking the little stability they had. “Matt found this on his desk. I don’t know what it says, but it looks like it’s...Russian? Whatever it is, I don’t think it’s good news.” Her heart stopped, or at least it felt like it did. Shooting her eyes between the both of them, she stepped forward until she was able to lightly grab the roughly textured paper from Foggy. Holding it in her hands, her breathing hitched as she read the stupidly neaten words scribbled down on the sheet. Тоска. латунь. брошюр. полированный. двадцать два. фонарь. морская соль.

Her head rose as she recognized them, and she felt a wave rush through her, a dizziness overcoming her. She shoved the paper back into a chest rather harshly, muttering an apology as she did so. She couldn’t tell who’s chest it was, but her vision briefly blurred and the horrid memories came racing back into her mind. Whoever’s chest it belonged to took the paper from her, and she squeezed her eyes shut. Reading the words didn’t really have an influence, it was when they were spoken that they were lethal. She just hadn’t seen them in so long, seen them outside that stupid book, that she sent herself into an almost instant panic attack.

She must have temporarily blacked out, because the next thing she recognized Matt had an arm on her shoulder, murmuring words she couldn’t comprehend to her, paper in his hand.

Her breath was staggered as she nearly begged at them. “Get-get that...that thing away from me. Sh-shred it, rip it, get it-get it out of my sight. Please.” They didn’t need to be told twice as Matt handed Foggy the paper, him then ripping it into shreds before her eyes. Her blurred vision returned as she looked towards the blond, whose gaze was on the man next to her, an unspoken conversation passing between the two of them as he nodded his head once. The feeling of Matt’s arm suddenly grew heavier upon her left shoulder, and she shrugged it off. She knew he meant well, but she couldn’t have any physical contact right now--she felt like she could crawl out of her skin, and anyone adding to that repulsed her even more. She backed up to the closest wall behind her and slid down it, hugging her knees to her chest.

Matt luckily didn’t take offense to her action, instead opting to crouch down before her at a respectable distance. He was still speaking, but she couldn’t understand a single word he was saying, the ringing that had now formed in her ears overtaking it all. She shook her head, but then realized he couldn’t tell what she did. She looked up at Foggy, who said something in Matt’s direction, to which Matt cinched his eyebrows together and then turned to her, trying to figure out how to provide comfort in this situation. And though the last thing she wanted in that moment was to be near another person, she compromised with herself, reaching out to grab for Matt’s hand letting him know that she appreciated his effort. She found it quickly, grasping onto his fingertips and squeezing lightly in hopes that he would understand. Call it a superpower, or maybe just his empathetic nature, but he squeezed back, and then shifted himself onto the floor next to her, fixing his hand in hers so that their fingers were intertwined.

And they sat like that. Seconds, minutes, hell even hours could have passed, she didn’t know. Her eyes remained closed as she tried to slow down her breathing, taking deep inhales, holding for a few seconds, and then releasing her breath. At even the subtlest of movements her eyes shot open, her senses being acutely increased as she fought to bury any efforts the assassin had at making an appearance. It wasn’t as if she would take over just from a glance at the words, but she made her presence known to her, letting her no that she never truly left.

The presence beside her shifted, and his thumb experimentally swept over her knuckles. A few silent tears were now staining her face, but she had to get things under control. She heard Matt’s deep breathing next to her and attempted to mimic his actions. He must have caught on because his shifted in just the slightest, setting a pace. Her vision started to clear as they breathed together, the ringing in her ears also beginning to dwindle. Out of what seemed like thin air, Matt was suddenly handing her a water bottle. She could feel everyone on the other side of the open door, not daring to poke their heads in, but trying to be available if things went to shit. Her focus returned to the man on the side of her as he took their laced fingers and laid them over his chest. No words were exchanged as her hand now felt his deep breaths, his steady heart beating, and his warm hand. She raked her eyes over his features as her inhales and exhales returned to a sense of normalcy, taking in the beauty that was Matt Murdock. His face, dimples, the glasses, his hair. It occurred to her once again that she had never seen his eyes before--he always wore his glasses around her. And there, on the floor, she vowed to herself that she would like to change that, if he was willing to too.

A few more minutes, and she had recognized them as actual minutes this time, passed with a now welcomed silence. The air had shifted once more as she fought with knowing about the presence of the assassin, but being aware that Matt was there calmed her down, and set her at ease. Usually she repulsed anyone within a five-foot radius of her when the assassin came to mind, but with Matt it was...different. She drank him in, submitting every detail she could to her memory bank, hoping to replace the horrors that took residence there. She had a feeling he could tell she was staring at him, but she was thankful he didn’t comment on it.

She could also tell that he was waiting for her to break the quiet.

When her words entered the air, they were quiet, almost inaudible, and timid. “Merci, Matthew.”

He must have heard her though, as he responded in just a slightly louder tone than her own, his tone laced with concern.

“Are you alright?”

She squeezed his hand again. “Yeah, thank you. I-I’m sor-” he cut her off, a serious, caring look overcoming his features.

“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. You’re okay, you’re safe with us.”

She felt his thumb swipe over her knuckles once more—a feeling that she didn’t hate—and she decided then that she liked the way their hands felt together.

“Can we stand?”

He nodded, and the pair stood up, never letting their intertwined fingers go. They walked together like that until they reached the doorway, before she gave one last squeeze and returned her hand to her side. Walking through the doorway first, she was greeted by the rest of the team directly on the other side, as she suspected they would be. They immediately started drilling her with questions and pleads of worry, and she knew they meant well but she was still slightly overwhelmed. Matt followed behind, and she was thankful when he started talking.

He cleared his throat, quick remembering Jimmy’s presence and rerouting his plan of action. He still couldn’t give away that she was staying with him.

“Uhm, I think she should probably go back to your place Karen. Think of today as a half-day. Actually, you know what, we should all take a half day. Foggy, what do you call them?”

Foggy jumped at the opportunity to offer aid. “Self-care days. Take the rest of the day making dinner, watching tv, hell if you’re even feeling bold, go for a walk.” He looked between the group. “Last time I had one, I spent like four hours on making enchiladas and catching up on Criminal Minds.”

Karen nodded. “I like the sound of that. That alright with you, Y/n?”

The woman in question nodded her head. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

"If anyone hears news on the trial, including me, contact the others asap.” Jimmy cut in, pointing to his phone. “Until then, I trust you Karen to take her directly back to your place. Remember, no pit stops. Have a good night, guys.” Karen nodded in acknowledgment, sending a quick smile his way as he took his cue and left.

As the door clicked shut, all attention was drawn back onto her.

“Seriously, are you alright Y/n?” She assumed Foggy had told Karen what was on the letter while the two were in Matt’s office, two sets of pitying eyes being laid onto her. She nodded slowly, her voice still timid.

“I don’t know why I didn’t expect it, if I’m being honest. Lucky for me I was taught how to refrain from reacting to them on paper. Lucky for you guys, too.”

“Can we check the cameras to see who broke in with it?” The air grew awkward at Karen’s suggestion, the boys’ faces twisting up in embarrassment.

“We, uh, well here’s the funny thing.” Foggy ran a hand behind his neck.

“We don’t really have cameras in here.” Matt piggybacked.

“Or locks on the doors.” Foggy moved his body to face Matt’s. “We should really get onto doing that, huh.”

“You think?” Karen chided.

“Can we leave please?” She interjected. She felt bad for doing so, but the thought that the culprits behind this could literally be watching them right now sneaked into her mind, and and infected any other thought. That, and she wanted to get as far away from where the letter laid, even though it was now in shreds.

“Oh my god yeah, let’s get you out of here.” Karen lightly guided her to the main door, shouting for Foggy to please grab their things on the way out. Matt stopped the duo in the hallway.

“I can walk with her from here back to my place. Now that Jimmy’s gone, it’ll look less suspicious with her guiding me back home.”

“Okay. Remember everyone, if anyone hears anything about the case, let the others know immediately, yeah?” Foggy gave a mock salute towards her as she finished speaking, which caused much needed laughter to break through the air.

Matt turned to the runner. “Ready to go?” He lifted his arm up in a silent invitation for her to take the lead.

“Yes, please. I’m exhausted.”

When they got back to his place, he had offered to cook up some food, and man was he a good cook. She practically moaned after she took her first bite of the zucchini he made, and it only got better from there. Their banter was flowing easy after he managed to bring her spirits back up, and at some point in the evening a thought passed through her head that this felt nice. She could get used to this.

But she couldn’t. No, she swore to herself that she wouldn’t stay longer than two nights, especially with people after her. But call it the aura of the flat, the layout, Matt--whatever it was about this place, she was enticed by it.

His gravel-like tone drew her out from her thoughts.

“You have a nice voice.”

Her fork clattered against her plate, unexpectedly dropping it at the compliment.

“I--uh-” She cleared her throat. Get it together. “-merci, Matthew. You have a nice one too.” He shook his head in disagreement, his eyebrows furrowing.

“No, I mean it. I hear tons of voices every single day, way too many if I’m being honest.” He mumbled the last part more to himself, his tone dimming down for a moment. “But yours, well, yours is like a breath of fresh air, a shot of espresso. I feel alive every time I hear it.” He released a puff of air, his hands readjusting the red glasses. “It reminds me of honey, and though I don’t like admitting it out loud, I’ve started to seek it out whenever I know you’re supposed to be with all of us.”

She was speechless. He was showering her with compliments, and by the shaky weight of his voice she could that this wasn’t a normal occurrence. Her chest got warm as he went on, and she noticed his cheeks had a light red dusting on them.

“Matt, I’m flattered that you think this way, but why are you saying this to me?” He was dancing a very fine line right now still technically being her lawyer.

He didn’t pay her interruption any mind though as he plowed on. “-and your accent. I can’t even put it into words how enticing it is, especially when you speak French. You-”

She placed her hand on top of his momentarily to get his full attention.

“Matthew. What’s going on? Why are you saying this? Are you okay?”

He slouched back a little then, moving his head to face the plate that lay in front of him. She could hear him take a breath before he responded, his voice still holding a soft tone.

“Yeah, everything’s alright. I just-” He looked up at her, thinking. “-I just feel bad for you. Not in a pitying type of way, just in a i’m sorry you had to go through all of this type of way. Plus, you have quite a history of people being unkind to you, and I don’t know-” He shrugged, his voice raising upwards an octave. “I just thought that through all of this darkness you’ve been facing lately, it would be nice to hear some good things about you. I’m sorry if I overstepped-”

He spoke like a poet, and she felt her walls crumble. “You didn’t, not at all. I guess I’m just not that used to people having good things to say about me. Thank you, Matt.” She grabbed his now empty plate, stacking it on top of hers and bringing them to the sink. She rinsed them off before heading back to where he was.

“Can I say one more thing about you that I think is nice?”

She chuckled slightly, and with a shrug and smirk replied, a small layer of cockiness now being made evident. “I won’t say no to an ego boost.”

Her joke caused a brief smile to flash by his face. “I like that you care. You pay attention to the little things, and well you’re only sometimes an asshole to us.”

She laughed at that, raising her palms up. “What can I say, I’m built different.”

His laughed mirrored hers, and that same thought from earlier flew by her mind once more. She liked it here. He had now stood up and strode over to her, his hands grabbing hers and pulling her up from her seat, their bodies now closer than they had been the entire night. “Seriously though, whatever happens over the next few days, I don’t want you to forget that you’re a good person. Because you are a good person. You were just put through a bunch of bad instances that you didn’t ask for. If you’re locked away, know that it is not on you. You did what you thought was right, and you protected your friend.” He paused, and the muffled sounds of the city at night filled the silence. “If you’re cleared though, I want to invite you to join our group, officially. You could join us for drinks at Josie’s and everything. Foggy will try to beat you at pool, and Karen will get you to sing. The whole nine yards.”

Her pulse had basically skyrocketed at the request. “I-” She searched his face for any sign that he was lying, but found nothing. “Thank you. I would gladly accept.”

“Great.”

Though all of Hell’s Kitchen was vibrant with the sounds of its inhabitants, the devil and the avenger found a moment of solace within the bustle of the city.

Noticing that they both hadn’t moved and were barely chests apart, she took a step back. “We should probably go to sleep, it’s getting late.”

He seemed to snap out of a similar daze, the gentle air around him pulling her in. Her eyes quickly moved from his spectacles to his lips, then back up to their original spot.

He seemed to realize that she was staring though, because a smirk appeared on his face. “We probably should.”

And yet, they stood, immobilized by what could be.

The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. They stood across from each other, frozen.

And then she had to go and ruin the moment.

The words escaped from her before she realized what was being said, bursting from an invisible dam.

“I’m not going to prison if they don’t find me innocent.”

She didn’t know why she was saying it, especially to her lawyer of all people, but they were out in the open now. She saw his chest rise in a deep inhale, his head slightly moving back.

“I figured as much.”

She cocked her head to the side, eyes narrowing. “How?”

“Call it a gut feeling. Most of Team Cap disappeared if they weren’t put on house arrest, so I had a hunch you’d follow.” The tension that filled the room earlier was still there, but it twisted into a different form. “I also figure that you probably have contacts to Steve Rogers or Natasha Romanoff too, both of whom would help you.” Her walls, having been slowly crumbling throughout her acquaintance-and dare say-friendship with Matt, fell back into place instantly at the accusation. He was right, of course, but she didn’t like that he knew that. Her breathing quickened ever so slightly, and she could feel the electricity buzzing faintly in the air around her.

She was cautious with her next choice of words. “Is this lawyer Murdock talking, or Matt Murdock?” His answer didn’t relieve any of her worries, a pit having now formed in her stomach.

“A little bit of both, if I’m being honest.”

“You-”

“I’m just saying, if I know, I can guarantee that others are suspicious.” His tone now had a sharper edge to it.

“I can’t tell if you’re threatening me or on my side here, Matt.”

His voice was quieter this time around. “You know I’m on your side. I swore an oath in court to be, and even off the records I’d think you’re innocent. I just-” He drew his fingers up to his nose, pinching the bridge, and she thought back to Foggy doing the same earlier. He had bumped the glasses up on his face doing so. A few minutes seemed to pass before his voice was heard again. “Where do you think you’ll go?”

She focused now on the flooring, eyes searching the wooden panels. “I’m not sure. You’re right, about Steve, but I’m also infuriated with him right now, so I’m staying off his radar. I’ve heard Washington is nice this time of year.”

“Y/n that’s literally on the other side of the nation-” The sharp edge now had a pang of anger in it too.

“-and I can get there within minutes. I don’t really have any belongings with me, so I won’t have to worry about baggage.” Physical, anyway.

“You don’t even have a phone, how are people going to contact you?” His eyebrows creased together, hands now moving to his hips.

“I have no reason for people to contact me. I’ll go off the grid, maybe even find a little cottage. A little cottage would be nice, with a little library.” She mumbled the last part to herself, mind drifting to the pleasantness of that dream.

“Hey-hey.” He waved his hand at her, snapping his fingers a couple of times, mouth agape. “Yes, you do. You have people who care about you, people who-” His voice was laced with surprise and something she couldn’t quite pinpoint, not believing the words coming out of her mouth.

“People who care about me?” She crossed her arms, still being aware of the warm wave the faint electricity was providing around her. She was starting to get frustrated at him and she couldn’t figure out why he was suddenly speaking like this. “Steve abandoned all of us, including me. Natasha, Wanda, and Vision are off the radar, Bucky is in fucking ice-” Her accent was getting thicker as her frustration started to flow into anger. “-they were all I had, and merde Matt, I’m on my own now. I’ve had to this before, back in the 40′s, so I know I can hold my own. I might even appreciate the change in scenery, who knows. It-” she was cut off, the voice replacing hers now much louder than she expected it to be.

He spoke with a tone that made her stop talking instantly.. She’d never heard him yell before-or even raise his voice-outside of court, but here he was, shouting in a voice that wasn’t his own.

And his words were crystal clear.

“I care about you, damn it!”

They faced each other, his chest heaving up and down in an anger she didn’t particularly like, and it felt like the electricity had metaphorically flown over to him. She was left speechless, mind racing a mile a minute, but no words making themselves known. He sighed in an unrequited anger, fists opening and closing at his sides.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She by no means meant to match the energy he was giving off, but it was instinctive. And maybe it was the stubbornness rooted in her, but she made a point to differentiate their tones--while her words dripped with the same loaded anger, she refused to give him the satisfaction of a fight. He could tell, too, that she wasn’t giving him the response he wanted. He wanted to argue, that was what he did for a living, but she wasn’t going to give him that. Only one party was going to be raising their voice tonight, and it wasn’t her.

“What does that mean? You’re kidding me.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“What in my face shouts ‘this is all a joke’ Matt. I can never tell with you--you seem so interested in keeping me safe one day, and then the next act super distant. I could go on, Matthew. The number of days you show up late or not at all to the office? Hell, I’ve barely been there a few weeks and Foggy has been there more. Foggy. I’ve actually started to warm up to the guy and his occasional mismatched clothing options.”

The anger in him burned like a fire, and he started to pace around the open space.

“You, you are infuriating. We took up your case in pity, you know that right? There was a reason we were quite actually the last resort you had--it was because no one could stand you and your ego!” His voice still remained raised, and if she was being honest with herself, she really hated this.

“Well, you two still ended up taking me and my ego up in court. You didn’t have to.”

“Yeah, well, we shouldn’t have.” A smile laced with venom was sent her way, so she returned it with one of her own.

“Yet you still did chéri.”

“That’s another thing. You got us to like you, care about you, and then when things get too bad you plan to just run?”

She shrugged. “It’s what I do best, what can I say. I’ve never been one to ask for people to like me.”

“Yet I still do.”

“Yet you still do.”

A brief pause filled the room, the electricity now crackling between them.

“I should’ve never convinced Foggy to take your case.”

“Like I said, Matt-” He tilted his head at his name.

“Stop addressing me so much, my god.”

She crossed her arms. “What has gotten into you? Five minutes ago, you were giving me compliments, and now you’re saying you regret me? décidez-vous, damn it!”

He itched his forehead, sighing. He spoke softer this time, but the anger was still there. “Me? You are so confusing--I think one moment that you’re being rash at your decisions, and the next I want to comfort you. You infuriate me, and yet I want to kiss you! I just-”

She had become well aware of his self-destructive tendencies since she met him. That being said, she still felt torn as he drilled the next words into her.

“It would’ve been so much better if you had gone into hiding. Just taken up whatever offer Steve Rogers probably made you, because things would’ve been so much easier for us if that were the case. We never would have had to meet you.”

She had to admit, she was taken aback by the bluntness. He picked up his cane and started to head to the front door, but she refused to give him the last say.

“I think you’re lying.” He halted in place, her words gentle but sharp. “Karen and I talk a lot, and she said that she’s seen a difference in you from when I came into the picture. I think-” she knew she must have been hitting the target on at least some portion of her statements, because he hadn’t moved. “-you��re just terrified of the idea of another person being temporary in your life, due to, you know, the severe abandonment issues you have.”

It was a low blow, she knew that, but he was starting to make her furious.

“You’ve had a lack of care in your life, I’ve had a lack of stability in mine.” His voice tinged with something more than pulsing red now. Yearning.

She had started to develop a small hunch as he went on, one that she definitely shouldn’t voice. But the fire had already started, so why not add to it some more? “Which is why you’re trying to fight with me now. I have a strong feeling that your yelling at me is related to the level of care for me that you speak of.”

His lack of response was a response in itself.

“I think that you daresay like my company.” And with the look that swept his face, she knew she hit the nail on the head.

“What can I say, it’s the guilt I see in you. You radiate it, so do I.”

“But I have a reason to.”

“You don’t know me.”

She rolled her eyes. “I know you well enough to know that you haven’t done half the amount I have to pile up guilt, and that’s not a competition. You’re lashing out because your little crush on me is fighting with your need to push people away.” His jaw clenched at that, and the air got thicker.

“You’re full of shit, you know that?” He pointed at her, adding extra emphasis to his thoughts.

“You just know I’m right, chéri.”

A shiver ran through him at the pet name. A shiver that truly made his words turn to ice. “I think you should leave.”

She stood there, baffled. “You can’t be serious right now.”

Yet, he pushed on. “Deadly.”

She switched up her tone to have a kinder approach, hoping he wasn’t really doing this. “Listen, I’m also being serious here, you and I both know that I probably shouldn’t do that. I can’t go to Karen’s. I-”

“Go to Foggy’s. Just get out.” She hoped that this him was just him talking in the heat of the moment, but the venom in his tone contradicted her hopes.

“Please don’t do this, Matt. We can talk this out. They’ll find me in no time if I’m out there the entire night. Plus, I feel the same if it’s the crush thing that you didn’t like me bringing up.” She hated that her tone had an edge of desperateness to it, but she frankly had no idea where Foggy even lived. Plus, she could tell he was tearing himself apart by saying what he did. The previous anger she had felt was now dissipated, replaced with unbridled fear of being alone out there. She could tell that this was just as painful for him as it was for her, and she hated that. She just hoped that he didn’t truly mean it.

He ignored the confession. “You said it yourself, you can run. Then run your way out of the city, away from me.”

A pause.

Then, she took a deep breath and nodded. “If that’s what you want Matt, then I’ll leave. I just-” the fear of being found by the monsters that once held her coursed through her veins. She shook her head, a humourless laugh filling her. “-you have a funny way of showing that you care for me, you know that?”

He matched her deep breath, the resolve he built up starting to crack. “Right now, I could care less. About the case, about the paper earlier, about you.”

And like that, the straw had landed on the camel’s back. Her breath hitched, and she stood there, in a state of shock. She kept trying to convince herself that he was just feeding into whatever punishment he thought he deserved for crimes unbeknownst to her, but man was that hard to do right now. With a shaky breath of air, she conceded. “Yeah, yeah okay Matt. I’ll go. But-” She could see him tense up as she walked to him. She laid her had upon his arm. He didn’t pull away. Tears threatened to leave her, but she refused to let them flow. “If you need me, I’ll be here for you. Because I don’t think your words are in tune with your heart right now. And when they are, let me know. Just because I’m leaving your place, chéri, doesn’t mean I’m leaving you.”

With that, she padded over to the front door to the flat, stopping at the doorway, wanting, hoping that he would say something, anything.

But he didn’t.

So, she left, walking down the stairs, out of the building, and onto the street. She sat down on the cement stairs that led up to his complex for a few minutes, deciding on what to do, where to go. She could try to find Foggy’s place, but she suspected that by the time she found it, it would be morning. She couldn’t go back to Karen, that would put her at risk. So, that meant the last resort. Mumbling under her breath a quick goodbye to no one in particular, she stood up, loosening up her joints and stretching her legs before she was going to set off into her long-distance run.

That run never came though, because as she reeled back to sprint off, she felt a hand on her shoulder, and the prick of something in her neck. As she tried to remove the strangers grasp, a wave of chills filled her body, felling like ice had just been poured into her veins, flowing through every muscle and ligement. She started to lose her balance, her head swaying.

The last thing that crossed her mind before she gave into the darkness was Matt’s stance as she headed out of his place for what could quite possibly be the last time.

She had barely regained consciousness before the wretchedly familiar words were being directed at her.

“Тоска.”

She flinched at the familiarity. The overwhelming stench of where they kept her came to her first.

“латунь.”

More came into her field of reality then, and she moved to get up. To get up and get out. It was all in vain though, because no matter how hard she tried to escape, the restraints that bounded her proved to be stronger. She even tried to phase through them, moving her body as fast as it could go to the point of her molecules changing states, but that proved to be to no avail either. These guys knew what they were dealing with.

“брошюра.”

A scream erupted from her then, her mind starting to fight itself on what was and what should be.

“полированный.”

Another shout emerged from her, followed by a string of cusses towards the man taunting her, standing not even five feet away. She looked up at him, reaching his eyes. A terrible, twisted smile appeared on his face.

“Oh, please, be my guest, come show me how much you’ve changed, убийца.” He walked up to her, now not even a foot apart.

So, she did the first thing she thought to do, and spit at him. This, to which, he didn’t take kindly to, a pissed off look now donning his face. The feeling of a closed fist shattered against her jaw.

“двадцать два.”

The assassin was starting to make its way out of the corner she banished it to, which cause her to yell not only in anguish, but also in pain. “No, you will not come back!”

“фонарь.”

With a last, desperate plea, she felt the assassin start to take back up the residence in her mind. She wasn’t there yet, but it was a losing fight. She fought for her last coherent words, words that she knew no one would hear, but she spoke them in a sob anyway. “Diable, aidez-moi.”

They barely escaped her lips before her body dropped, eyes darkening.

“морская соль.”

The man in front of her was now met with no resistance, no movement, nothing.

She was silent.

Cautiously, he spoke. “Good evening, assassin.”

And though the words spoken back to him belonged to her, they were not her own.

“Я готов отвечить.”

translations

Il s’appelle Jimmy!-his name is jimmy!

merde-shit

décidez-vous-make up your mind

merci-thank you

chéri-darling

убийца-assassin/killer

Diable, aidez-moi-devil, help me

Я готов отвечить-ready to comply

the trigger words:

Тоска-yearning

латунь-brass

брошюра-brochure

полированный-polished

двадцать два-twenty two

фонарь-lantern

морская соль-sea salt

taglisttttttttt

@eliwinchester-barnes @enjoymyloves @mshannah @pariahsparadise @saramaple @2guysonascooter @insomnia-bookworm

50 notes · View notes

a-valorant-effort · 3 years

Note

can u do enemies to lovers w yoru 🥺 like maybe their rlly good partners in valorant but their both too stubborn 2 admit they like eachother n all the other agents r like 😉😏😏 tysm!!!!!!

*sees enemies to lovers request*

Cass:

Keep it Together

Yoru x GN!Reader

I got carried away with this one oop-

“Would you get out of the way? I can’t even see through the scope.”

“I’m in the rift, Y/N.”

“Oh, my bad. You’re big blue ego must have leaked back into this dimension, you’ll be spotted quick.”

It’s like this. Everyday. Back and forth. Left and right. Yin and Yang. Y/N and Yoru haven’t gotten along since the day they showed up. Yoru, a flashy radiant with the power to travel through dimensions and become invisible to the enemy team, was a force to be reckoned with when it came to being a ground fighter. Y/N, was the opposite. Powerless, dull, armed with nothing but their quick wit and lethal aim. It was in this clause where they differed so heavily. No one really knows why they do it. Jealousy? Intimidation? Or simply pure hatred? One claiming to be better than the other, competing for kills on deadly missions and high stakes infiltrations. Y/N, the eyes in the sky, while Yoru lie low.

“Both of you, stop bickering. Your target is in there, kill him, then get out.” Brimstone sounded tired over the communicator, more so than usual.

Through a stroke of chance, Yoru was able to sneak past the guards and saw their target. Pulling out his knife, he slowly crept up to the man before his heart almost dropped at the sound of a bullet coming through the window. The target lie dead.

“Got em.” Y/N giggled through the com.

“Oh, fuck you.”

The bickering never stops, not even once their mission is over.

“I don’t need a flashy power to be better than you.” Y/N leaned over the couch, their arms swung over the cushions.

“Neither do I.”

Y/N scoffed. “You’re nothing without that radianite.”

“The same can be said about your weapon and you. You’re nothing without that either.” Yoru looked into their eyes, smirking.

“Y/N. A word.” Brimstone called from the hall.

“Daddy’s calling.” Yoru laughed.

“At least mine came back.” Y/N shoved a pillow in his face and walked off.

“Jesus christ. Do you two ever stop arguing?” Viper rubbed her temples.

Jett nonchalantly tuned in, her eyes still trained on a video game on the tv. “Yeah dude, you two need to fuck already.”

Yoru coughed. “What?!”

“Yeah bro, you two got something going on there.” Phoenix was beside her, focusing just as intently.

“You’re hysterical. I don’t like Y/N, I just want to put them in their place.”

“In your be-,”

“No.”

Phoenix and Jett laughed.

“I’m serious. I despise Y/N. I would rather listen to Killjoy talk about astrophysics all day.”

“Oh really? What do you hate about Y/N?”

“Oh wow, where do I start? They’re useless. They can’t do anything but aim really well from a distance. I have to save their ass everytime they get into a little bit of danger. I hate how they look when they get a good shot with the operator. I hate that stupid little giggle they have. I hate the way their uniform perfectly hugs their hips a certain way. I hate it when their pupils dilate slightly when the get excited, I hate it.” Yoru took a breath. Phoenix and Jett stared at him, their attention fully drawn to him.

“What?”

“Dude, you’ve got it so bad.” Jett laughed.

It struck him like a hammer to a nail. The more he thought about Y/N, the more endearing the thoughts became. Oh god, he liked them. He loved them.

“Well no point in standing here loverboy!” Yoru hadn’t realized he said it out loud, so Phoenix’s response caught him off guard. “You gotta tell them!”

“No chance, they hate me. No way they feel the same.”

~~~

“This fighting needs to stop.”

Brimstone had Y/N in the briefing room, sitting on opposite sides of the long ovular table.

“It’s not my fault he gets on my nerves at every turn.” Y/N kicked their feet up. “And if you hate us fighting so much, why don’t you just separate us? Seems to me anytime I need a partner you’re putting me with the rift-rat.”

Brimstone put his hand to his forehead. “Y/N, do you know why I pair you up with Yoru?”

“Clearly not.”

“Because mission success rates are the highest when you two are put back to back. Monte Carlo, Venice, New Zealand, all of your duo missions have come back successful, the only error is when you two decide to turn it into some sort of competition.” Brimstone laid out a file folder that was labeled “Rift-shot” Y/N opened it to find all of their and his statistics lying within it. “Think about what you two could do if you stopped trying to step on each other and instead tried to lift each other up. You’ve done it before.”

That last part was interesting to Y/N because, well... yeah, they have. They can remember all of the times Yoru has bandages them up in a clutch situation, or the times Yoru was about to get caught but a piercing bullet to the head deliver by them had saved him. Whether they liked it or not, Y/N and Yoru were perfect for each other. Back and forth. Left and right. Yin and Yang.

“We’ve got reports of a radianite shipment getting lost somewhere in Croatia, you think you’re up for the task?” Y/N lifted their head and looked Brimstone in the eye who gave them a knowing look.

“Fine. I can do it.”

“Not the answer I’m looking for.”

Y/N sighed. “We can do it.”

Brimstone smiled. “Dropship will be ready for you first thing tomorrow morning, I expect no issues.”

~~~

Yeah. There were issues.

Why Y/N had agreed to a mission when they couldn’t even look at each other now wasn’t their best move. They uncomfortably shuffled next to their partner who was also trying to mask his discomfort. They stayed like this, two trained killers who couldn’t even look each other in the eye for more than a second. Through apologies, awkward shuffling and flinching at even the smallest touch, they found it difficult not to say anything.

Y/N was the first to speak. “Hey.” Yoru turned his head. “I uh, I’m sorry I took that knife kill from you. I probably should have-”

Yoru interrupted. “No!” He coughed, and readjusted his tone. “You did well. As long as the target is dead we did our jobs well.”

“I guess so.” Y/N leaned in a bit more towards Yoru, more comfortable in his presence now. “And the look on your face was pretty funny.”

They giggled, and for once Yoru didn’t find it obnoxious or annoying. It was, cute. Comforting. And it made Yoru laugh along too. “I can’t say I disagree.”

Y/N held out their hand. “We make a good team, don’t we?”

Yoru held his out with a smile. “Yeah. I guess we do.”

And in that moment, everything felt right.

~~~

So why did everything go wrong?

Y/N hit the ground running, as fast they could even though they were carrying a whole human over their shoulder. Yoru was loosing blood quick, they knew that, but there wasn’t much they could do until they were out of harms way.

“The drop ship isn’t far, come on, you have to stay with me.” Y/N went as fast as they could, trying to make Yoru comfortable but also rushing at the same time.

The two hobbled into the ship, dodging bullets on their way. Once they were safe, Yoru collapsed on the cool metal floor, blood seeping through his clothes and violently coughing dead air.

“Hey hey hey.” Y/N frantically kneeled next to him and cupped his face. “It’s a 90 minute flight home, you have to hold on a little longer, I’ll do what I can to keep you around until then.”

His face may have been bloody and pale, but Y/N still saw him as the beautiful boy he was. Stroking his cheek and gingerly running their fingers through his hair, Yoru tried his best to muster a smile.

Yoru held the back of Y/N’s neck, trying to bring their face closer down. “Come here.” Y/N leaned down and Yoru lifted his head slightly to meet them with a kiss.

“Keep it together ok?” Y/N said after they broke the kiss. “I can’t lose you.”

Yoru pressed another kiss to their cheek and closed his eyes, knowing that his Y/N would be there when he woke.

#Valorant #valorant x reader #yoru valorant #yoru #valorant yoru #yoru x reader

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foodieforthoughts · 3 years

Text

Down in History

Summary: Your first award function with Henry as a couple.

Pairing: Henry x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: Fluffy comfort

A/N: This is a birthday fic dedicated to the wonderful Lisa (@killjoy-assbutt-1112). Babe you deserve the world and here's to me trying to make your day a little brighter. Hope you enjoy and I'm sorry I'm a day late. 🙈

Also, thank you to @the-soot-sprite for helpful writing tips and @infinite-shite for listening to me talk about this. ❤️

Song inspo:

Title: Down in History

I looked out the window as hordes of paparazzi lined outside to snap a picture of their favorite celebs. The police tried to contain the crowd, failing miserably like I was failing to contain my growing anxiety.

Closing the curtains, I turned to the beautiful dress hanging on the mannequin. It was a gift from Henry for our first red carpet event tonight. I ran a hand lightly over the satin dress, feeling the silky fabric glid smoothly beneath my touch. The bodice was embroidered with silver crystals, glinting as the light caught in them.

I chewed on my bottom lip and wound my arms around my body. I was nervous beyond explanation. The media had dissected our relationship left, right and centre. They had scrutinized Henry for being with a girl who was nearly two decades younger than him, again.

"Miss," Maurice peered from behind the door, her cat-eyed glasses perched low on her nose. "We need to start getting ready." She informed and with a nod from me, she entered with her posse behind her.

I sat on the swirling chair they had placed in front of the mirror. While the ladies got to their work, I took the opportunity to look into my relationship with Henry.

As soon as our meetings became more frequent and the paps started getting more content, our faces started to appear on blogs and websites. My life became an open book with everyone trying to pull it apart piece by piece, commenting on things they had no business getting into. I had a fair idea about Henry's 19 year old ex-girlfriend and how much slack he had gotten for it. It was the sole reason why I was reluctant to officially date him even when he persistently asked for it.

After months of running into each other every day on our daily morning runs, Henry had finally stopped me for a chat one day. I had been a bubbling bundle of nerves when he had asked my name. The sexy Hollywood heartthrob seemed like he had planned on bumping into me that day for his questions seemed like he had memorized them. I wasn't the one to complain and when he had asked if I was free for coffee, I had agreed in a heartbeat.

"He's in the other room, miss. Maurice insisted that this room should be Female Central."

"Where's Henry?" I asked, turning slightly in my seat to look at our assistant sitting on a chair typing on her iPad. "I didn't see him since morning."

"Guilty." Maurice commented as she curled the ends of my hair to fall down my shoulder in waves. "Are you nervous?" She asked, talking to me through the reflection in the mirror.

"Very. I think I'll pass out even before I reach the red carpet."

She tapped lightly on my shoulder. "Don't worry. I heard Henry tell his friend he's not going to leave your side the entire night."

Despite all his efforts, I had once almost broken up with him. Henry had been away for filming and I had stayed back at his house. Somehow my location had gotten out to the public and I had been chased by the paps and fans, asking questions about Henry. I had locked myself in his house, too afraid to go out and when Henry was unavailable for calls because of the time difference, I had been a crying mess. In the heat of the moment, I had texted him that once he is back it is going to be over for us. After a long call later in the night, lots of crying and soothing, we had pulled through.

I felt a flutter in my heart.

Henry had been the most supportive boyfriend in the world. He had been with me through thick and thin, gently easing me in his life. He had promised me that whenever possible, he wouldn't let anyone harm my image in anyway. And he had rightfully held his promise. He had assigned PR representatives to look after my public image and gone as far as to make a big celeb gossip blog retract their article spreading personal information about my life.

Maurice eased me into my dress with the help of her assistants and started making the necessary adjustments to it. I stood with my arms out, looking at myself in the mirror and marveled at the image that looked back at me.

I worried about how people were going to perceive me tonight. They were going to complain how the dress had lost its charm because it was on me. Or they would comment how I look like Henry's child, like they always did. Or maybe this time they'll comment on the way my body was built.

My eyes welled up in tears and I sniffed, looking up and trying to not ruin the makeup. A knock on the door, distracted me from my inner turmoil. I waited for one of the ladies to open it and when they did, the sight in front of me nearly took my breath away.

Henry looked daper in a suit, made to perfectly fit his body. His eyes softened as he took notice of me and he entered through the door to walk towards me. "What's wrong baby?" He asked and took my hands in his.

Maurice and her assistants were done with their work on the dress and they quietly left the room to give us some privacy. I felt my lips tremble as the self doubt began clouding in my mind.

"I-I'm scared." I muttered. The welling tears in my eyes were threatening to fall down.

"But why? I'll be by your side the whole time. You don't have to worry about anything." He reassured me, walking me towards the bed and making me sit beside him.

"They are going to comment on our age," I mumbled quietly, twirling my fingers in a curl, refusing to look at him.

"I don't care, baby. And you shouldn't either. What's important is that we love each other and I accept you for who you are."

I weakly smiled at him as Henry kissed my cheek. The tears were threatening to fall but I managed to blink them away. He held my hand, gently circling his thumb over my skin in circles. I heard him sigh and run his free hand through his hair.

"What?" I asked, worried he had something running in his own mind.

"I was going to do this after the event, but-" He said before sliding down the bed and on his knee.

My mouth fell open, stunned at the turn of events. I stared at him wide eyed as Henry fished out a signature blue Tiffany&Co box from his pocket. He smiled sheepishly at me as I could only stare at him.

"Henry, what are you..."

"Baby, I love you. I have been searching for a person like you my whole life. I have never been happier before in my life. I don't care what people say, all I want is to spend the rest of my life with you." He pressed his lips, trying to breathe calmly. "Will you marry me, baby?"

Henry opened the box leaving me mesmerized by the beautiful double halo diamond ring sitting on the plush velvet cushion. But it wasn't the ring that made me cry, it was the love that seemed to be overflowing from within me for this man. I didn't care about the ruined makeup, nor the sobbing mess I was becoming.

I barely could nod a 'yes', before Henry with tears in his eyes smiled brightly up at me. He sat up and pulled me in for a hug as I wound my arms around his neck. He kissed my lips softly, before he pulled the ring out of its box. I bit my lip and watched as he slid the platinum band on my finger, overwhelmed by the rush of emotions as it sat snugly around my slim digit.

"Now, let's go to the event and let everyone know that you aren't just my girlfriend, but also my future wife." Henry said before kissing me until I couldn't breathe.

#Henry Cavill #Henry Cavill fanfic #Henry Cavill x reader #Henry Cavill rpf #Rpf #Lisa's birthday fic

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years

Text

Hunt (JJK x Reader) 🐾🔞💜☁️

🌸 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

🌸 Genre: ABO Au!, werewolf AU!, Hybrid/Shifter Au!, Angst, smut, romance

🌸 Warnings: fighting scene, usage of guns, graphic descriptions of violence, grief and guilt, subspace, omegaspace (is that a thing it’s a thing now), Dom!Jungkook, Sub!Reader, Alpha!Jungkook!, Omega!Reader, oral (M Rec.), thigh riding, mutual masturbation in a way, non penetrative sex, praise kink, prima smut, biting, scratching, choking in a way, chokehold, manhandling, brat!Reader, handjob (m. Rec)

🌸 Summary: he was your alpha, and he’d always look after you. Even if that meant he had to hurt you.

Jungkook loves you dearly.

That much is clear to everyone who has eyes inside their sockets, with how much he fusses over you daily, always concerned about your well-being. His presence is never far away from you, and if so, he makes sure to call and text as much as possible to make sure that you're alright. It's natural really, not only as your alpha, but your mate as well.

You're just so delicate, he can't help but want to hide you from the world around him. He knows you're capable of being by yourself- he doesn't doubt that at all. It's just that he's naturally a very caring person already, and all of that had just been amplified by your bond that you now shared. He was yours, and you were his; there was no better way to describe it.

"Jungkook?" You ask, turning around as he suddenly snaps his head up from where his butt is resting against the kitchen table, deep in thought as he snaps out of them to reply with a hum. "Did you stare at my butt again?" You question accusingly, putting your hands on your hips as he can't help but smile. You try to look mad, intimidating maybe, but you're just so cute that he can't help it.

"And even if I was, what's so offending about that?" He throws back, smirk on his lips as you simply huff out a breath, turning back around as you continue to watch the cooking ramen in the pot, smell already invading his living space as his stomach groans a bit. "When can we eat?" He whines out, and you shrug your shoulders.

Jungkook likes to appear manly and strong to everyone, like he can do anything and everything, yet he sometimes acts more like an overgrown man-child. He also hates strong smells, doesn't really wear cologne but rather likes the smell of when you do his laundry (It has to be you he once stated, not because he wants to come off as sexist or anything but it always smells different when he does it, even if he measures everything the same way you do, he can't explain it either), or when he uses your bodylotion. He doesn't care much about his hair or his clothes, but he prefers oversized and soft fabrics, even though you can spot him in a button up sometimes. Jungkook can be a little difficult sometimes too- He sometimes sends out mixed signals just to get frustrated when you don't understand what he wants. He loves everything in order, but tends to leave his things all over the place too.

Long story short, living with Jungkook is never boring.

You're not so simple either, however. Its a well known fact in the pack that no one should get on your bad side when Jungkook isn't around- the alpha seemingly having tamed you whenever he was close. Because whenever he wasn't, you weren't all bark no bite- you didn't bark at all, you just went straight for the throat. Now, you weren't a bad person at all. You just were a bit more straight forward. Confidence was something you had in a healthy amount; you knew who you were, and that you were, at the end of the day, no ones slave. You didn't back down, even if it seemed pointless- and no one wanted to mess with you in all honesty. The pack loved to pick on you, when Jungkook was around, because there was nothing you could do about it. They did shit their pants though once he'd leave.

Just like now.

Jimin came up behind you, intentionally scaring you since he knew you had bad hearing on your left side, making you yelp and hit his ribs with your elbow out of reflex. "Jimin you fu-" But Jungkook cleared his throat before you could finish your sentence, teeth gritted together in a silent growl as your eyes glowed at the older pack beta, who simply grinned.

"Jimin, cut the shit. That was unnecessary, apologize." He grumbled out, as the beta simply sighed, mumbling a sorry you took with a smirk that earned you a smack on your behind. "Stop looking so smug Omega." He throws your way, sounding upset, but you knew that he didn't mean it.

"I'm feeding you all and this is how you thank me." You dramatically sigh out as you turn off the stove as soon as the food was finished, when Jungkook snaked his arms around you from behind, dipping his head down to kiss your bonding mark.

He humms. "Hm, but I thank you enough in other ways?" He says, and Jimin makes a gagging noise as he closes the fridge.

"Not in the kitchen!"

'Catch me loosers!' You send out, as your paws hit the ground underneath you, Jimin and Taehyung hot on your heels as they take on the challenge you proposed. Taehyungs form hit your back hard, sending your rolling over the grassy grounds as you snap playfully after his fur. You get a bit of the fluffy hairs into your mouth as you sneeze, making Jimin join in on teasing you as he pulls on your tail with no intention to hurt you. Jungkook however, sees that different as he rams the beta off of you, growling loudly to warn him.

'Killjoy!' Jimin snarls out at the alpha as the wolf in question runs after him after he took off running, knowing all too well how to get on the younger once's nerves. Taehyung meanwhile got thrown over by your smaller form, jaws snapping at him as he keeps his head low, squeezing his lanky form out from underneath you, running straight into Hoseok, who'd joined in on the fun. Namjoon was on his way, lazily jogging towards you with Yoongis short white form behind him, as a shot rang through the air, scaring and scattering birds out of the trees as all motion holds instantly.

Taehyung stands up as you shake your fur, instantly searching for your alpha which wasn't far away and nudged you with his large head, providing comfort as if to tell you that he was there now, there was nothing that could hurt you. Namjoon and Yoongi were still, everyone's ears on high alert as you look out for any sort of motion or giveaway from where the shot came from. This was peacefull ground; established after the great war between Humans and werewolfes, back in 1993. Hunting was illegal here, and an absolute taboo.

Yet it seems like that didn't stop anyone today.

And just as Namjoon is ready to tell them to go home, a loud yelp rings through the air, as your head throws itself back to inspect the dart in your leg, instinctively trying to pull it out without much luck. Jungkook instantly tries to help you, Jimin and Taehyung making their way towards you as well as another shot rings through the air, successfully scaring everyone as a group of black clothed and masked men dart towards them with weapons ready. You run off, Jungkooks voice clear and demanding in your head, but you can't make out the words as a second dart hits your leg, throwing you off balance as you violently fall to the ground, rolling over the branches and dead leaves as Jungkooks almost falls as well trying to stop. Theres a shot just barely missing his leg, and the only instinct your omega seems to have left is;

Get away from him. Don't let them get to him. They want us.

So you run off to the side, leading them down the tight woods as you hear them follow you. There's the sound of yelping, angry barks and violent teeth as they seem to fight off whoever was behind you. But you can't stop.

You almost fall into the pond next to you, before actually stumbling and wetting the side of your face and body, hardly making it out as you stumble and fail to gain good footing.

'Omega, stop-' Jungkooks voice rings, but you simply move around, ears close to your head as you snarl at him. He's never seen you like this; at least not directed at him, or his pack. You'r eyes are wide open, glowing with a cold yellow color yet your pupils barely leave space for the color to show through properly. Mouth wide open, as you growl at him, the hair on your back is raised in defense. You look like you want to attack, but not out of pure aggression- the way your tails was tucked underneath you, and your lowered body posture showed him what was really going on.

You were terrified.

'Omega, it's me, they're gone.' He tries again, takes a step, but you only snap at him, at Taehyung who tries to get close as well. You're not letting anyone close in this moment, and he watches with worry as the darts color your fur red with the way you'd pulled and scraped them around on your skin. He's surprised you haven't managed to break the needles off yet. The soft and sweet omega he calls his mate is absolutely out of her mind, and he knows that. His alpha inside of him begs him to discipline you, to bring you down, to help you get back and out of this mindset, but his human brain can't make the decision- because it would mean he'd have to fight you. And he knew who you where, how you'd react. You wouldn't just throw yourself down like some puppy because this was his omega; his omega, which would never back down. Not even to him. 'Please-' he tries, but Yoongi cuts him off.

'Jungkook, if you're not bringing her down I will.' He starts, and the alpha instantly turns around at that, snarling at the beta standing next to his leader, who looks determined as well. 'We can't leave her like this, you know this-' He starts again, but he's cut off as Jimin chimes into the argument.

'You can't ask that of him Yoongi! That's his mate!' He yells out, defensive posture unwavering as you cower back, ready to book it as Jungkook has to make a decision. Fast.

So he does.

He wants to cry the moment he feels his teeth break the skin of your scruff, as he desperately tries to get you down, tries to force you to submit, to calm down, but you wiggle and squirm, and twist around in his hold that he looses it for a moment. He snaps after your leg as you try again to run off, a painful shriek escaping you that cuts his own soul like paper his skin, but he has to keep you. He can't let you go, he can't loose you, he can't leave you like that. So even when you claw at his face, scratching his throat as you get your leg out from between his jaws, he doesn't let up. All his packmates can do is watch, as he bites again and again, breaking skin and exhausting you to the point where you finally let him. He's got his jaw around your throat now, barely grasping, but holding firmly as you huff out harshly, eyes still unfocused. You're absolutely out of it at this point, eyes hazy and glazed over as you finally come to a still stand.

He slowly lets off, careful and ready to go in again at any sign of more defense, but you're still.

Eerily so.

For a moment, everyone is quiet as Jungkook can't do anything but stare. The way your chest still moves proves to him that you're still alive, but at what cost? Only now does he notice the iron taste on his tongue, and he wants to throw up so badly that he starts to swallow hard. Would you be okay? Would you forgive him? Would you understand? He had to do it. He knew it, but the view in front of him made his stomach fill with guilt. Yoongi slowly comes closer, helping Namjoon to put your small body onto his back as everyone slowly makes it back. He starts to walk as well, but can't help looking back.

The grass stained with your blood, seeping into the pond close by.

He's fussing over you like a newly crowned mother of a hundred pups.

Constantly making sure your blankets are properly tucked in, moving your joints every day so that you wouldn't become stiff, and listening to the doctors advice with maximum focus. The men responsible for the attack are facing trial, and he'll have to join everyone in court today, but it doesn't matter to him as he still spends his last minutes before they drive off at your side, fully dressed in a suit, determined to get justice for what happened.

You don't move, but they have told him you'd come around soon enough- a friend, Jin, will take care of you for him while he's gone. He can't do anything but look at you breathe, as he still sees you as the most precious and most beautiful thing in the world. A knock on the door snaps him out of it, as Jin stands, a small smile on his lips. "They're waiting." He simply says, and Jungkook nods, slowly standing up after kissing your forehead. "I'll keep an eye on her." Jin says as Jungkook walks past him, ready to go downstairs.

The rest of them are waiting downstairs already, as they slowly get into the cars, driving to the next fight.

But this time, they'll fight without teeth.

Two days later, Jungkook is sitting at your bedside again- or more like, sitting at your feet, spooning rice from his bowl into his mouth without much interest as his eyes stay unfocused. It's been like that the day before as well- He'd eat with you, take a nap, shower, take another nap, eat dinner, and fall asleep for the night. He's barely truly sleeping though, every small crack outside waking him immediately, the past still haunting him whenever he tried to rest. He can't imagine what would happen to him if you were to stay like this- or maybe even worse. He'd thought about it, several times, but he always chokes up, always immediately tears up at the mere possibility of you not spending your life with him. This was so unfair.

He sighs as he gets up, feet hitting the cold laminated flooring as he doesn't bat an eyelash at the temperature biting into his soles. He simply shuffles towards the bathroom like a puppet, simply tending to his bodies need to relief itself, as he doesn't notice the way your eyes move behind your lids.

And as you open them, its dark.

Not quite, as the opened window lets the moonlight in quite nicely, drowning the room in a silver light, your eyes adjusting comfortably. The air was fresh, crisp and cold, while your body was cozy underneath the covers. It was just perfect, just how you and Jungkook always liked it- the fresh and cool temperature of the room giving you a reason to cuddle closer, hold each other tighter. You stretched your legs, hissing as a cramp bites at your legs, but it soon settles, after a few seconds. Sitting up, you feel like a headache is close- the pain present but bearable, as if you'd taken a nap for too long. Your eyes burn a little, and you can feel some bandages underneath your clothes, making you wonder what had happened.

And then it hit you.

From the moment of the shot, to the way Jungkooks cries echoed in your head, his pleas and apologies over and over, as you try to process everything. At least you haven't hurt him, you thought to yourself.

You notice him as he stops at the door with a gasp, eyes wide open and lips apart, as they slowly come to terms that you're actually awake. He tilts his head downwards, before he slowly closes the door, walking towards you as he lets himself fall to his knees, a sob escaping him as he throws his head onto your lap. He's vulnerable, but oh so happy at the same time to know that you're gonna be fine. You're up, you're conscious, you're back- and he's too overwhelmed with that reality to keep his composure.

So he cries, violent sobs shaking his shoulders as he holds onto the blankets for dear life, state only worsening as you run your delicate fingers through his locks. He slowly looks up at the touch, searching for any hint of fear, any form of anger or betrayal sent towards him for hurting you like that, but he only finds your warm smile, comforting eyes filled with love, and his tears roll down his cheeks as you take his head into your hands. You don't say anything because there's nothing needed to; and he simply leans into your touch like it's the first time he's ever received such a kind gesture. There's no alpha in him in that moment, no strong Jungkook who's confident and overachieving. No, in fact he looks so young that your motherly instincts shout at you to comfort him, to soothe his cries and dry his tears. Whatever pain he's feeling, you're craving to take it away.

But when the door opens again, after Jimin and Taehyung push too much against the wood, he snaps his head back around to look at them. "Never seen the kid cry that much." Yoongi scoffs with a playful but genuinely happy smile, as the rest snickers- you along. And even though he loves the sound that leaves your lips, he suddenly begins to pout, before shifting. His large wolf form curls up at the end of your feet, and you whine, getting no reaction from you but a tilt of his ear that signals he's still having your attention.

"No, kookie, come here." You whine pitifully, and it takes a moment, before he shuffles closer to you, laying his large body next to you as he somehow still lets only his back face you. "Are you mad?" You ask, and he simply huffs in embarrassment, and you laugh, as the pack leaves you alone, glad to know you were back again. "That's okay." You humm, cuddling his large body as you fall back asleep.

It's late when you both return from your dinner with his pack, the now shared apartment you both got yourselves feeling cozy to you, since it held both of your scents perfectly aligned. It was your safe haven, a place you could both be yourselves as much as you wanted to, without any interference of the world. Surely, it was a bit weird and it needed time to get used to, but you both eventually made it work.

"Do you think we should lay carpet in the living room?" You casually ask as you take off your jacket, while Jungkook slips out of his shoes.

"Hm." He hums, before he takes a look at the living room area. "Maybe? Would that be better?" He asks, and you lean your head to the side, now out of your shoes as well as you walk towards the open kitchen.

"Maybe. I mean I like soft carpets, and because the sun shines in through the windows I thought it would be nice to have a soft floor to lay on for a nap or something." You casually explain. Jungkooks heart swells as he walks after you, holding your body from behind as he walks like a penguin to your destination, making you giggle. "What now?" You ask, and he simply nuzzles into your neck.

"Nothing." He replies with a grin. "It's just nice hearing you talk about things like that." He explains, running his pointy canines over your shoulder where he'd exposed the skin by pulling on your sweater sleeve. "My omega want's to make our home cozy. I like that." He humms against your pulse point. "Always so caring. So thoughtful, so sweet, my sweet baby." He almost dreamily cooes, as you suddenly try to wriggle out of his grasp. He catches on quickly, holding you tighter so you can't escape as he chuckles at your struggle. "Where you going baby?" He asks with amusement, as you huff.

"Nowhere because you're- ngh- you're yah!" You bark out, and his eyes grow more daring as he notices your behavior. You don't truly want to get away from him, as your body language tells him an entirely different story of what you're trying to bring across. Its a facade- even as you nip at his arm, biting the skin without hurting him as you kick your legs now, and he growls lowly.

"My baby's being a brat now?" He rumbles out, and you scoff again, trying to catch him off guard by hitting your head backwards, trying to push him away, but he only chuckles, one hand holding your body against him while the other moves higher to your throat now, holding your head tilted backwards against his shoulder. "Hm.. I actually wanted to watch a movie, but I think I'll have a different form of entertainment tonight." He says, as his hand tightens, not to choke, but to restrain, as he slowly sits down with you, forcing you with him on the floor as his hand lets your upper body loose, immediately grasping your wrists in his hand, while still holding your neck. You struggle for a good while, and he waits, until your eyes meet.

He can see the golden color of them, warm and hazy as they swim with pure emotions. You're finally submitting, your headspace blurring your thoughts as you become limp, making him smile at you. Once you're free, you turn around immediately, ready to go for his pants as he stands up, holding your neck as you obediently follow him to the bedroom, imaginary tail wagging in excitement on what's to come. "Look at you my baby." He sings out, voice low and soft as he addresses your kneeling form in front of him, hands on his thigh as your chin lays atop of it, closing your eyes when he runs his palm over your head. "Such a sweet little darling I have there." He opens his fly, shedding his pants as he throws the button up over his head, letting his erection free after his underwear is discarded as well. You quickly follow him, shedding your own layers of clothing as you sit in front of him, waiting, as he holds his hands out. You instantly shuffle forwards, nosing at his cock as he hisses at the contact, carefully guiding his length into your mouth as you close your eyes, tongue gliding over the salty skin in sinful patterns that make him groan out in pleasure. He lets his head fall back as his hand stays in your hair, muscles tightening and relaxing at the way you stimulate his nerves and senses, the room filling with your scent as he thinks he's on could nine.

He pulls your head away from him, making you gasp out as his eyes focus on the obscene strand of saliva still connecting your lips to his tip. He guides you upwards to sit on his muscular thigh, your hands holding onto his shoulders as he helps your hips move, gaze never leaving your form as you breathe heavily in pleasure. "Such a good girl." He praises, and you mewl in fondness at the praise, making him grin at you, his length throbbing from the view he has. "So good, look at you, getting yourself off on me." He continues, pushing you down harder and forcing you to faster as your breasts start to sway enticingly in front of him. "Hm? Use me darling, I'm all yours." He cooes, eyes hooded as he watches you fall apart, furrowing your brows as you concentrate on the pleasure. He suddenly hisses out when your hand moves away from his shoulder, suddenly finding his leaking cock as your soft hand wraps itself around it, desperate to give him pleasure back as well. He groans, and you let your forehead fall onto your hand on his shoulder as he growls deeply, the entire situation too much for him as his fingernails scratch down your back, making you arch it as he leaves hot marks on his way down, gripping a handful of your butt in his palm, as you bite down on his neck. It's the sound of wet skin running over skin, your hand jacking him off, groans and whimpers from you and him, and it's stuffy as the air around you takes on more and more of your smell, but its so perfect.

You whine and gasp as you finally come undone, desperately running your fingers over the skin of his length as you make sure to give it attention as well, smiling as you feel his hips trust into the air, muscles contracting as he spurts his cum onto your hand, groaning out a long sound as he lets himself fall backwards onto the bed. He breathes heavily as he holds you close to him, you bodies sweaty and spent, but happy and content none the less.

Jungkook loves you dearly.

That much is evident to anyone who has eyes inside their sockets.

It could be just how well you fit into his life, how perfectly you align with his pack, or how you care for him in a way only you could. With you, he feels safe, comforted, home- he doesn't need walls and a roof to feel like he's in his own safe haven.

"Jungkooks coming!" Jimin shouts in victory, making you turn around with wide eyes as you spot him walk into the living room. You sneeze as he walks past you, sitting down next to you as he slaps Jimins hands reaching for your snacks with a challenging gaze. The older beta pouts, but doesn't argue as he leans back, watching with amusement as you cuddle up to Jungkooks side, almost crawling onto his lap as he puts an arm around your middle "Heh, big bad omega is all cuddly" Jimin challenges as you get ready to throw the pillow closest at him, but Jungkooks palm takes it out of your hand, diffusing the situation as the beta across from you snickers in triumph. Jungkook however smirks, yawning innocently as he suddenly gets up.

"Oh, I think I've forgotten something in the kitchen." He casually says, getting up to leave you two be as you grin dangerously, while Jimin begins to sweat nervously at the mere prospect of being alone with you.

"A-actually It's late, I should probably leave!"

And both, Jungkook and you, laugh.

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