#AND lastly but still very important: food habits

[alasy]

How I'm still highly functional (my parameters) under this amount of stress and how it has not triggered any fucked up episode of anything (yet) is literally a miracle and I'm not even joking

#especially if you consider that im actually lowering my dosages #am i anxious as hell? yes jesus omg yes i am #but im FUNCTIONAL! #no panic attacks and though i do wanna throw up thinking about tomorrow... still im not paralysed by fear #im not paralyzed!!!!!! #also dark thoughts are indeed occuring but nothing out of what it usually is #i havent been considering acting on them *really* #which again what??????!!!!!!!!!!!!! #AND lastly but still very important: food habits #am i eating terribly? yes but im having lunch every day! #is my body image killing me inside? yes but im too busy to think about it!!!! which is good!!!!!! #basically im so busy and so stressed that i literally have no time to have a breakdown #and that's great!!!!!!!!!!! because last time my therapist was almost calling people to actually get me out of uni and take me home again #i was this close 🤏 #BUT I AM FUNCTIONAL! #yay <3 #tw #personal #might delete later #maybe not idk

[growandrecover]

struggling in ed recovery?

pt. 2 here

your weight does not define you. let me say it again, your weight does not define you. if you're saying something different, nope. it does not. next thing.

the food you eat does not have any moral value. eating a pizza does not make you a bad person. eating a salad does not make you a good person. it's food, it has no moral value at all, whatsoever. you're the same person regardless of if you eat cake or fruit for a snack.

not fitting into your clothes does not make you a failure. (if you have a recovery where you're losing weight- per doctor's orders, etc.- your old clothes being too big does not mean past you was a failure.) so if you need to go buy new clothes because your old stuff is either too small or too big, that does not hold any kind of personal value, okay? they're clothes, they're meant to fit our bodies, we are not meant to fit into them.

if someone has said something to you about the way you look now, please just know that they are most likely uneducated about eds and are (hopefully) not meaning to hurt your feelings. that said, correct them if you want to, but also know that it is not your job to do so if you don't want to.

going off that last point, I was taught by my recovery team that it is very important to set boundaries with anyone who may make a comment on what you're eating or how you look. for example, you could say, "hey, I'm in recovery from something (you don't have to be specific if it makes you uncomfortable) and I would really appreciate it if you didn't say anything to me about my body or what I'm eating." or "I'm not really comfortable talking about that, can we change the subject?" and anything else you may want to say.

satisfy your cravings. craving ice cream is not bad. if your body is telling you that it wants ice cream, eat some ice cream. in recovery you need to establish with your mind and body that you can now eat without restrictions, and should allow yourself whatever you're craving.

and lastly, I wish someone would have said this to me: eat whatever you want. literally, I mean it. your body is going through a confusing time, and even if you've been in recovery for months, it still could think you're going to go back to your old habits. so enjoy what you eat. :)

as always, if you need to talk, you can send me an ask or message me <3

#ed recovery #mental heath support #ed recovery tips #mental illness #body posititivity #mental health #recovery #food positivity #pro recovery #ana recovery #bed recovery #mia recovery

[plasmaapologist]

hi miss tula. my aunt got me first pokemon recently. it is eevee! since eevee not in unova parents dont know what to do with it. since you are nurse do you have tip? sorry bad galarian

hello, anon! eevee makes a wonderful first partner, and they're much more common in unova than one would think. if you live somewhere rural though i definitely understand that you wouldn't know much about them since they're most common in cities here!

the first thing to know about owning an eevee is that they can not stay an eevee forever. due to their unstable genetics, an eevee that does not evolve will eventually become sick, though the amount of time this takes depends on the particular eevee. i recommend choosing the eeveelution you want as soon as you can, so eevee can evolve as soon as it's ready! i personally believe leafeon is the easiest to care for, but you'll get a different opinion from everyone.

now that that's out of the way, you'll likely have a good few years with your eevee as an eevee! (i've seen an eevee make it to 12 without suffering any illness from not evolving).

the good news is, eevee are very easy to care for! they're omnivores that can eat most dry and wet pokemon foods without need for any additional nutrition. however, it's important to note that, like many canine and feline pokemon (scientists are still arguing which one eeevee is), eevee can't eat foods like chocolate, grapes or onions.

eevee will probably enjoy the occasional addition of fruits, vegetables, and berries into their diet! be careful with the amount, as too much can give them tummy problems, and especially with fruit and some berries, you dont want to give them too much sugar.

eevee are typically very affectionate pokemon that will greatly enjoy snuggles and playtime. dont get too offended if your eevee seems a little distant: just like humans, some eevee aren't as big on being touched. if this is the case, you'll certainly find eevee has their own ways of showing affection!

eevee are very energetic, and even the laziest among them needs a good bit of playtime. since you're in unova, i can recommend buying toys designed for either lilipup or purrloin; it's a bit of a gamble which one eevee will lean twoards.

lastly, pay attention to their habits and hobbies! its one of the best ways to choose an evolution your friend will be the happiest with. for example, an eevee who loves swimming will probably thrive as a vaporeon, but an eevee that enjoys being up late at night probably wouldnt be very happy as an espeon, ect ect. i also can't recommend glaceon if you live in a warmer climate.

eevees' loveable nature makes them a great first partner and pet pokemon; they're popular for a reason! heres to many years of fun with your new best friend!

#pkmn irl #rotomblr #pokeblogging #pokemon irl #pkmn rp #pokemon rp #pokemon care

[elliothier]

Happy 27th birthday from 2022! It's currently the 26th as I write this, because for the first time ever I actually completely forgot about Tumblr the entire day! Are you still on here? Has the habit crept back in? Have you finally escaped? We shall see! It's not like my tab has ever closed.

So time for the present day context! Or well, 'present day', I still remember! It started with waking up, mom showed up somewhere near noon, which I was awake for but we had no interaction, so I could wake up properly. The candle in the darkness stood out, and apparently represented the past -- downstairs were another 2, for the present and future. Improvised cake this time as the ingredients were too hard to get, instead it was a brownie with cherry jelly dip and caramel dip, which, yeah that was great. Present was an elite trainer box of cards, which definitely had some pretty dice. Lackluster pulls, but hey, it be like that sometimes.

It was a good day overall, still a bit tired from gran's celebration on the 23rd (and even more tired from yesterday as I write this), but that was nice as well. Met the new cousins, they're fathers of 3 and fit right in, because of course they do. Oh, and the youngest cousin is pregnant. I don't think I'll get accustomed to that any time soon; have you met the baby yet? Heck, have you seen her at all since then? We've definitely grown apart...

Heck, this was the first birthday without Astra as well, and without grandpa; very strange in hindsight, I didn't even realize until I read that the renovations were last year. Poor 25 year old me had no idea what was coming, but we got through it, and this year was a lot more relaxed! Music room is finally coming along, I've been learning Bach's Prelude I in C major the past few days, still in my room, but I'm about halfway now. I swear I'm gonna finish Guitar Quest this year as well, it's just one more chapter... Speaking of, have you gotten around to playing with the uncle yet? The anxiety block is real.

Anyway, the day itself was mostly focused around games. Entering the day across midnight was with Cursed and French, the Genshin co-op has been a lovely regular occurrence. Then in the afternoon some Casino Yahtzee with mom, which I lost, but was a lot of fun anyway. In the evening a desert dragon version of Catan with the three of us, which I won convincingly, because BOY did we have issues with grain and wool, and I was the only one with a grain import at all. And then exiting the day in Genshin again as well. (And the planning for this weekend is to play a game with K Alexander and the discord too, as well as co-op with Satan, exciting stuff!) No D&D like the last two years, but our group is still together, so that's no problem.

Oh, and how could I forget dad's pancakes! They were kind of falling apart, but that doesn't take away from the taste, it was a good choice of dinner that's for sure. If you see this early and need any inspiration, there's an option for ya! If not, I hope it was some tasty food regardless.

So anyway, I hope you have a good day and get a chance to chill, because my week this year is definitely Too Much. Should probably cancel work, again, just because my brain is dying and the day after there's another visit, for obvious reasons.

Lastly, don't forget about The Box! I definitely nearly did, I still have to do it, I really hope I didn't forget...

#timecapsule #happy birthday to me

[the-boyo1]

Boosting Teenage Health with BoYo Vitamin & Mineral Rich Sprouting Seed Mix

Being a teenager is hard. From school to extracurricular, from tuition classes to hanging out with your friends, teenagers lead hectic lives. There are exams to worry about, homework to finish, school work to catch up on, and school societies and clubs to participate in. Add to this the stress of deciding on a career and the constant helicoptering of teachers and parents alike. It isn’t tough to understand why teenagers constantly try to avoid whichever adult they come into contact with. 

The teenage years are a key time in life when good eating and health habits are very important. Providing teenagers with the proper nutritional balance becomes crucial as they go through growth spurts, hormonal changes, and increasing physical activity. Including BoYo Vitamin & Mineral Rich Sprouting Seed Mix in your teen's diet is a powerful method to improve their health. The importance of teen health will be discussed in this article, along with the dietary requirements at this stage, the advantages of BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix, tips for promoting teen health, suggestions for wholesome snacks, and a list of commonly asked questions.

The Significance of Balanced Nutrition for Teenagers

Besides the external stress of being a teenager, the internal changes that they go through are also massive. Puberty is a complex and lengthy process. Voice breaks, growth spurts, hormonal changes and physical developments are all a part of one of the most life-altering processes a person has to go through. Naturally, if it is so hard to view on the outside, the inside must be equally hard for the kids. Adolescence is the time when teenagers are most drawn to independence, and this is something that should extend to their food as well. 

Complex carbohydrates are also crucial to teenage diets because they provide sustained energy and even fibre and other nutrients. Besides this, dietary fat should make up about 30% of the total diet. Fats supply energy and are essential to helping the body absorb vitamins that are soluble in fat, namely Vitamins A, D, E and K. The diet should be heavy in mono- and polyunsaturated fat. Lastly, teenagers are most likely to fall short on their daily calcium, iron, zinc and Vitamin D intake. Maintaining a balanced diet for a teenager shouldn’t be too hard. Still, with their constricting schedules, it can be hard to ensure eating three meals a day. So how do we erase all the fatigue and stress from any vitamin deficiencies and boost overall strength? 

For more informative content like this:- You can visit BoYo Blog section.

Nutritional Needs during Teenage Years

First and foremost, teenage bodies require more calories: appetite surges are even considered signs of the incoming puberty cycles a teenager is about to go through. The appetite surges indicate the body’s growing needs – the growth process requires more nutrients and vitamins, and eating more is a natural reaction to this need. 

Teenagers need to consume a balanced diet rich in proteins, carbohydrates and fats to keep themselves healthy. Proteins are the building blocks of the body. They build, maintain and repair muscles, fortify bones and also keep various other bodily processes running.

Importance of such nutrients

Teenagers need special nutrition because of their fast growth and development. The following essential nutrients are crucial at this phase:

1. Protein: Vital for constructing and mending tissues, promoting the growth of muscles, and supplying energy.

2. Calcium: Essential for the growth of healthy bones and teeth.

3. Iron: Crucial for red blood cell production and preventing iron-deficiency anemia.

4. Vitamin D: Vital for bone health and calcium absorption.

5. Omega-3 fatty acids: Promote cognitive function and brain growth.

6. Vitamin B12: Essential for the synthesis of red blood cells and neurological function.

7. Zinc: Aids in wound healing and immunological support.

BoYo Vitamin & Mineral Rich Sprouting Seed Mix

The BOYO Vitamin & Mineral Rich Sprouting Seed Mix is your solution to this question! It is the overall health booster you need if you’re a teenager going through a growth spurt. This 7-ingredient seed mixture, high in amino acids and enriched with proteins and vitamins, is 100% vegan and Gluten-free. Consisting of Chickpeas, Adzuki, and Soybeans, the mix is rich in vitamins A, B, C, and E, and is great for speeding up the healing process and strengthening bones and gums. 

You can also visit:- BoYo Shop to check our product range.

Nutritional Benefits of Each Ingredient in the Seed Mix

The mix consists of Mung beans, Chickpeas, Adzuki, Soybeans, Alfalfa, Black lentils and Moth. Foods like Chickpeas and Mung are excellent for their contribution of fibre and protein. They make digestion easier by adding bulk to stool and promoting a healthy gut. Alfalfa and Adzuki are enriched with Vitamins A, B, C, E, and K. They also include essential minerals like manganese and magnesium, essential in running the body’s processes. Black lentils and Moths are rich in minerals like copper, zinc and also in protein. 

Health Benefits of Consuming the BOYO Sprouting Seed Mix

So what does all of this mean for the body? Well, The mix promotes kidney health, heart health and improved digestion. This is because of its high protein, amino acid and calcium content. The various amino acids, proteins, phosphorus and chlorophyll also help reduce inflammation and the risk of chronic illnesses that can be caused due to inadequate diets. The proteins present in the mix help in muscle building, and it is also excellent for preventing neural tube disorders. The mix also helps lower blood pressure, ease headaches, and strengthen bones and teeth. 

The Impact on Teenager's Lives After Using it

All in all, it is the perfect solution for a teenager’s dietary needs. Eating the sprout mix is likely to take care of whatever nutrition the body lacks and help the kids take one thing off their backs. They can redirect the energy gained into their daily lives and focus on giving their best at school, during extra-curricular activities, or when hanging out with their friends. So, go about your fun, albeit stressful, days with a healthy glint in your eyes and nutritiously full tummies!

Other Strategies for Boosting Teenage Health

Aside from introducing BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix into the diet, there are other options for improving adolescent health:

Regular Workout

Exercise frequently, whether it is through sports, running, cycling, or dancing. Regular exercise improves cardiovascular health, strengthens muscles and bones, elevates mood and mental well-being, and helps maintain a healthy weight.

Get enough sleep

Teenagers' health depends on getting enough sleep. Encourage them to create a regular sleep routine and to strive for 8 to 10 hours of good sleep each night. Sleeping enough promotes healthy immune system, and emotional functioning.

Stress Reduction

Teach them practical stress-reduction strategies like deep breathing, yoga, meditation, or participating in activities they find enjoyable. It's critical to establish good coping methods since prolonged stress can have a severe influence on both physical and mental health.

Hydration

Water consumption is crucial for general wellness. Encourage youngsters to carry a reusable bottle of water and to sip on water all day long. Staying hydrated promotes good skin, maintains body temperature, assists in digestion, and removes toxins from the body.

Ideas for Healthy Snacks for Teens

Teenagers frequently engage in the activity of snacking. Here are some nutritious snack suggestions to go along with including BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix in their diet.

Conclusion

Improving teen health is essential for their development, growth, and general well-being. A quick and nutrient-rich answer is to include BoYo Vitamin & Mineral Rich Sprouting Seed Mix in their diet. Additionally, promoting regular exercise, getting enough sleep, managing stress, and being hydrated all contribute to a teen's health at its best. Teenagers may support their physical, mental, and emotional health at this crucial stage of life by implementing these measures and selecting nutritious snacks.

FAQs

Q1: Can BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix replace a balanced diet for teenagers?

A1: BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix is a valuable addition to a balanced diet but should not replace it. It serves as a supplement to ensure teenagers receive essential nutrients.

Q2: Are there any allergies to consider with BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix?

A2: Some individuals may be allergic to specific seeds in the BoYo Mix. It's essential to check for any allergies and consult a healthcare professional if needed.

Q3: Can BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix be stored for a long time?

A3: It is best to consume BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix within its recommended shelf life for optimal freshness and nutrient content.

Q4: Can BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix be used by adults too?

A4: Absolutely! BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix is suitable for individuals of all ages who want to enhance their nutrient intake.

Q5: Where can I get BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix?

A5: You can access BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix by visiting the official site of BoYo or you can visit the Boyo Shop store directly by clicking on the given LINK.

#Sprouting Seed Mix #boyo Sprouting Seed Mix

[dantasunt]

Change Your Fortunes With Liv Pure Pills

Liv Pure is definitely a weight loss pill which usually says get better the liver organ and also raise metabolic processes, so that your overall body can burn bodyweight quicker. This is the mixture of all-natural not to mention organically grown elements that had been methodically subjected to testing to help enhance renal system element. Liv Pure will help with minimising desire as well as hunger pangs, which happens to be important for keeping the desires for food at hand in weight-loss. The particular add to will be suppressing bodyweight intake with obstructing a digestive enzymes that handles this. As well as, the actual formulation assists with raising energy levels together with improving the proficiency of your own workout to assist you enjoy more effective end results while exercising and also burning alot more calories. Folks who have got to figure out Liv Pure ingredients, they are willing to go here.

This unique weight loss supplement can be found merely on your accepted site that permit you to still access beginning offers you to get a reasonably limited time period. You ought to steer clear of acquiring the item from any some other e-commerce web-sites, that is marketing bogus types from the device. Their website also has distinct instructions concerning pay for and then safe and sound distribution tactics. The producer cautions to prevent pretend merchandise sold on the internet endorses people to display a package in the complement to their health practitioner before you begin every fat burning system.

All the formulation features not one but two blends about herbs, extracts, vitamins and minerals, that happen to be made to deal with different facets connected with lean meats medical. An example may be described as Liver organ Fat-reducing Complex, with ingredients which be an aid to drop the weight. For instance silymarin, which comes as a result of exploit thistle herb and he has long been used as a perfect solution for time spans. It is demonstrated to develop liver operate and minimize bloating making them more demanding to burn fat. That fit also includes genistein, and that's the antioxidising that's known to cause improved metabolic feature. A product also provides anti-inflammatory characteristics and it's also shown to give a boost to portable rejuvination in the lean meats. It's always included in plenty of vegatables and fruits, including broccoli, brussel sprouts, in addition to artichokes. This specific mixture also includes betaine, which is certainly acknowledged to services fat metabolic process decrease weight escalation while in the busy.

Lastly, these product carries choline, a fertilizing this sustains fatty acid procedure unwanted weight imbibition. Choline can support good failing liver do the job as well as advance digestion health and fitness, that is an important part of burning fat. The nutritional supplement also contains berberine, that could be a strong alkaloid which has which may help prevent the outward symptoms involving Nonalcoholic Fatty Liver Disease (NAFLD).

Total, Liv Pure is actually a successful system which may appreciably get a lean body from treatment your personal failing liver and additionally improving your metabolism mobility. It is usually created to eliminate elements which render it hard for one's body to lose the weight, such as an unsafe eating habits in addition to deficiency of muscle stimulation. It is a favorite method certainly one of ladies and men in various age groups, as well as fathers who want to once again go back their very own pre-pregnancy body frames. Single 51-year old mother for several demands they includes dropped 63 pounds within 3 months just after using Liv Pure. People with targets to be aware of Liv Pure side effects and other particulars can sound unengaged to click here.

[panergy]

10 Seriously Useful Car Camping Tips for Beginners-Panergy

1. Plan Ahead

Planning ahead is key. A lot of campgrounds require reservations, sometimes 6 months or 1 year in advance. If you arrive at a campground that requires a reservation and don’t have one, that’s a bummer.

So the first step is to figure out where you want to camp and determine if reservations are required. If there are first-come, first-served campsites available, plan to arrive early to maximize your chances of getting one.

The next thing to research is the rules and regulations for the campground and the surrounding land.

For example:

What are the food storage regulations?

Are there any fire restrictions?

Depending on where you are and the wildlife in the area, there might be specific food storage regulations that you need to follow.

Fire restrictions typically change throughout the year depending on the fire danger. It’s always a good idea to check on this beforehand.

Lastly, I also like to plan out the meals that I’m going to make while I’m camping. This can be especially helpful on long trips or on camping trips with bigger groups.

I like to write out what I’m planning to eat for each meal of the day so I can make sure I actually pack enough food and have all the ingredients I need to cook.

The more planning ahead you can do, the easier things will be when you actually arrive at camp.

2. Know The Surrounding Area

This next camping tip goes right along with number one above.

You’ll need to drive to the area that you want to camp, so when you're planning your route, take note of where the closest gas station, grocery store, and emergency center will be to where you’re camping.

If you suddenly need any of those things, it’s nice to know which direction to drive to get there.

3. Share Your Literary

Tell someone where you're going and when you're expected to be back.

Contact them when you return, and if they don't hear from you, tell them to contact the local ranger station.

This is a really simple habit to get into.

4. Be Prepared To Navigate

We’ve become very dependent on our cell phones for navigation.

Type in where you want to go, and boom, you’re on your way!

But what if you don’t have cell service? What if you lose your phone?

I do prefer to use my cell phone for navigation because it’s simple and quick, but it’s always a good idea to have a backup method of navigation too.

Download any digital maps and driving directions on your cell phone. I use the Gaia GPS app for road trips, and I download maps for the area I’m going at home before the trip. That way if I lose service, I can still use the maps.

It’s also a good idea to have a map and compass as a backup method of navigation.

I live in Utah and spend most of my time camping in different places around the state. A good road atlas for your state is also a great thing to have in the car.

5. Stay Organized

Commit to staying organized and it will make everything so much easier!

A few years ago, I decided that I wanted to save money and travel by living out of my car for the Summer.

I quickly realized that staying organized was super important.

As my mom used to say when I was a kid, ‘everything has a home’ - and so it does.

Try to organize your food and gear into bins, that way you always know where to find things.

>> Further Reading: A deep dive into my car camping organization.

Ready To Master Stress-Free Camp Cooking?

In this Camp Cooking Starter Kit, I share my top recipes, checklists, and meal planning tips!

We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at any time.

6. Plan For The Unexpected

This tip is all about thinking through the possible things that could go wrong - like a flat tire - and trying to be proactive in preparing for them before the trip.

This includes things like:

making sure your vehicle is ready to go with a spare tire

making sure your med kit is up to date and packed

packing jumper cables in case you leave a light on in the car all night

packing extra food and extra water

packing a backup water filter in case you need more drinking water

While it’s certainly not fun to think of the things that could go wrong, it’s a good thing to do because you’ll ultimately be able to handle those ‘oh-crap’ moments a lot better if you encounter them.

>> Further Reading: 6 Things Every Car Camper (and road tripper) Should Own

7. Be Mindful Of Other Campers Around You

When you're out camping, especially at a campground, you'll likely be near other campers.

Just be mindful of your noise level, and make sure kids and pets are not making too much noise or running around through other people's campsites.

I was camping in New York a few years ago, and the kids of nearby campers kept screaming and riding their bikes right through our campsite - it wasn’t exactly the peaceful escape into nature I was hoping for.

Usually, campgrounds have quiet hours, so make sure you know any campground regulations and be mindful of others around you.

8. Pack Those Luxury Items

Bring a few of the ‘luxury items’ that will help you feel more at ease!

What I mean by ‘luxury items’ is just those couple things that aren't necessarily essential, but they would really make things more comfortable or fun for you - I say bring them along!

This could be things like a comfy pillow, a good coffee setup, or some games.

I really like a good cup of coffee in the morning when I’m camping, so I bring along a few extra things so that I can make a pour-over coffee instead of using instant packets. That’s one of my luxury items.

One of the nice things about camping is that it’s an opportunity to simplify and appreciate the little things in life. So while I think it’s great to bring along those extra items to make things more comfortable and fun, try not to bring everything you own.

9. Pack Out Your Trash

I know that this is a pretty obvious thing to do, but it's surprising how many times I've come up to a campsite with trash scattered all over.

I have seen used wipes, pads, tampons, diapers, bottle caps, cans… and sadly, the list goes on.

Don’t forget to pack trash bags, and make sure that your trash is secured so that it doesn’t blow away with a gust of wind.

Lastly, check any trash storage regulations in the are that you’re camping. You don’t want any animals getting into your trash and scattering it all over.

10. Try To Disconnect

The last camping tip I have is a really important one - try to disconnect from social media, your to-do list, and the stress of daily life.

I’m always so amazed by how relaxed I become when I go camping. It's really easy to disconnect when you don't have cell service!

A break from social media is very important for mental health, and it's something that I think we all need a little more often.

Be fully present with the people you’re camping with. Notice more of the things around you. Wonder about nature and how things work. Look up at the night sky.

These moments are what keep me coming back to camping over and over.

[nkemaghalives]

Loose your weight don't loose your identity

Blogs,Fitness,Health If you are tired of following various suggestions, tips, slimming diets, weight loss plans , and gym instructions but still not able to achieve the physique or figure of your dreams then do not worry. Then forget these tips and advices of all the people and follow ours.

These tips and plans will definitely help you to lose weight as they are the all time proven formulas and tips for the weight reduction. Look, if you have gained some pounds, its fine. It’s not a big deal that your world has crashed down. First never loose confidence inspire of gaining few pounds. Remember that it happens with everyone. Do not start giving yourself pain by eating tasteless food and getting physically exhausted by over exercising.

1) Start exercising slowly and start increasing your exercise timing as the weeks pass. If you think that by spending hours in gym you can lose ample of weight then guys you are wrong. Over exercising can lead you to over eating as well, remember this! So stick to the regime and exercise according to your ability. Do not stress your body by over exercising.

2) Never skip meals: People have this wrong judgment that if they skip meals or do not eat they will eat less. But you know what, by skipping meals and breakfast you are affecting your body sugar levels and then indulging in over eating later. Skipping meals makes you hungrier and famished which will make you eat everything and anything after you can't control your hunger anymore. Hence it is always better to eat small meals throughout the day instead of 3 big portions.

3) Do not loose confidence: This is the most important factor that I usually would like to emphasize on. Because no latest what, if you loose confidence then nothing can help you out in this world. Hence, if you have gained a few pounds here and there, then no need to show your pot belly to your friends and cry over it. You do not even need to stand in front of the mirror for hours and blame yourself for that weight. This way you are only mentally punishing yourself. Hence practice proper self compassion and change your behavior against yourself and weight gained. Instead of punishing yourself mentally and demeaning yourself, start focusing on positives of life and the options that you can use to loose those pounds. Lose weight and be smarter day by day.

4) Never weigh yourself very obsessively Yes, its very necessary to be firm and patient regarding your weight gain. If you keep on weighing yourself right after every breathe then you are only punishing yourself more. Remember to stay consistent with your weight loss plans, diets, daily routine and eating habits.

5) Do not try difficult diets The purpose of diet is to help you manage your eating habits and make a proper timetable for you. Hence these diets are not to be followed for a long periods of time. Diets help you to cut out unhealthy food that has become the necessary item in your eating list and without which you cannot breathe . But the slimming diets or the weight loss diets promote healthy foods with carbs, proteins, and necessary vitamins for your body by keeping unhealthy food items at bay. Then it depends how much you control your cravings.

6) But listen to hunger cues Always listen to your body and do not ignore your timely hunger cues. This can help you in avoiding over eating which will lead to weight gain. Follow proper eating routine with smaller portions of meals throughout the day instead of keeping yourself hungry for hours and the indulging in overeating and gobbling up everything that comes your way.

7) Do not loose focus Lastly, another important thing is never call quits if for initial days you cannot see weight reduction in any ways. Your body needs time to adjust to the new timetable that you have given it. Hence focus and be patient throughout and so not call quits in the middle of your regime.

To loose belly fats and loose weight quick , visit this link : @analexzing | Linktree

[dearestminyoongi]

To be natural – is a training exercise | 3 |

‣ summary: As a result of the recent dating rumours spreading around, you are forced by your agency to resort to a very popular practice among idols: adopting a hybrid to draw the attention of your fans to the adorableness of your new platonic partner and not the scandal on the verge of breaking out. But it’s hard to get used to having a second shadow when you’re accustomed to being on your own, especially if your new companion is hell-bent on having all your attention directed at him. Constantly.

‣ pairing: Jimin x female reader

‣ genre: hybrid au; idol!reader; fluff; hurt/comfort; slice of life; sassy!reader

‣ word count: 14.5k

‣ chapters: 1 / 2 / 3

Notes: Hitomi is your idol/stage name! OKAY I’m very sorry, but the reader eats some things in this chapter which are animal derivatives, but! There are vegan options of those, so if you have some differences in your eating habits, you can pretend the food to be of your preferences. You also eat some vegetables, vegan meat and a Korean chicken soup. Also you drink coffee here. If you don’t in real life: think of it as decaffeinated, or as just orzo? I tried to keep it really vague. This is the only warning. Oh! Also: cuteness, hurt/comfort. Lastly: if you catch some mistakes, please notify me!

You’re mentally listing the things left to do in your morning routine, toothbrush dangling from your pursed lips while you’re applying the eyeliner when suddenly you remember you’re not alone in the flat.

To be more precise, your train of thought goes as follow:

Finish brushing my teeth (should buy new toothpaste)

Search for the new mascara and that berry blossom-scented hand cream

Air dry hair (no-one will berate me since today I’m not leaving the agency. It’s important that Jimin can get used to the place)

Change purse to match the outfit

And then there’s a sudden jolt in your sleepy brain when the image of your cat hybrid flash in your mind. You promptly choke on the toothpaste and swallow down some of it. You hurry to pull out your toothbrush and wash out your mouth, drinking the water straight from the tap.

When you raise your face your disgusted expression greets you in the mirror, along with a pretty, thick, black line that from the corner of your eye reach your temple. You don’t really have time to fix that, so you pick up your make-up remover and just decide to go bare-faced.

You don’t even spare a look at your hair and just return to your room, retrieve the handbag you used yesterday and rush out. How could you forget him? To be sure, you’ve grown used to be on your own, and you learned to appreciate your alone time, but after all that happened yesterday, especially that exchange right before you went to sleep–

You halt in front of Jimin’s door and put a stop to your thoughts. Right now you should focus on the important things and make sure he’s ready to come with you. Quite honestly you should’ve already integrated him into your morning routine, planning for his presence, now you fear you’ll be running late. Officially you need to be at the agency by 8 A.M., but you usually meet up with Lee beforehand to grab a quick breakfast together and catch up on the day’s agenda.

The wristwatch tells you it’s a quarter to seven. Could he be already up?

You raise your hand and knock gently against the door, calling his name in a voice that’s little more than a whisper. His sensitive ears should be able to pick that up, but you receive no answer. You try again only to get the same result. Shuffling a little on the spot, you wonder if he’s still asleep, if you should inch your way inside his bedroom and wake him up.

He’d be quite sleepy, you imagine. With his beautiful hazel eyes lidded and his pupils like pinpoints from the morning sunlight entering from the window, his squishy cheek pressed on the pillow, his fluffy ears hidden in his messy blonde hair. Maybe he’d try to burrow under the blankets, mumbling about just five minutes or maybe he’d smile languidly at you the moment he recognizes you, greeting you with a groggy voice. You wonder if he’ll still have that higher-pitched, melodious tone or if, perhaps, he’d have a lower, more rough timbre.

You’re itching to find out for yourself, heart speeding up at the prospect and after hesitating for a few seconds more, your hand grips the door handle. You have opened it just a couple of inches when suddenly in the still, windowless hallway, you feel a gust of air brush against your nape, whispering delicately near your ears. Then a touch against your damp hair, something resembling a nudge, and a puff of air warm the back of your neck.

You freeze on the spot, fighting a shiver. There is most definitely someone behind you; someone who is… smelling you?

You can almost feel him humming when he asks you: “Were you searching for me?”

Almost in auto-pilot, you close the door in front of you, then spin yourself and lean your back against it. And here, in front of you, stands Jimin in all his glory. He’s already dressed in a pair of tracksuit black pants and a white t-shirt, feet clad in soft socks. His hair is brushed neatly, covering his forehead, and his ears are tilted up in mild interest. He’s watching over you with a slight smile on his plump rose lips, and the longer you look at him the more it seems to want to bloom in a full-fledged grin.

He doesn’t look sleepy at all. You don’t have time to suppress the stupid, nonsensical sense of disappointment that rise in you, never mind pretending to have the presence of mind to formulate an answer or even a greeting, before he’s leaning towards you.

Even if there’s still much space between you two, your breath hitch and you almost choke – for the second time that morning – on your spit. You swallow and you swear his eyes follow the movement. But then Jimin’s gaze locks with yours and he keeps you pinned down under his laser-focused attention.

His soft lips open delectably – your eyes almost flicker down to watch them, but you barely resist – and he asks you: “Did you have sweet dreams?”

Usually, you’re quite proud of your composure, the way you can withstand the worst interactions and malicious comments with a straight poker face, sometimes even a polite fake smile if the occasion calls for it. However, you are not accustomed to being subjected to such a devastating attack so early in the morning, in what should be your safe space, where you let down your guard and relax.

You feel yourself getting hot in the face and you hope that he’ll somehow miss the blush colouring your cheeks, while you ponder the apparent fact that Jimin is going to be the mean of your end, one way or another. What a way to go, mumbling half phrases and unable to maintain his gaze.

Your head is filled with the clear memories of the night before, of the text he sent you and the answer you gave him; in the spaces between those recollections sits the strong impression and vague reminiscence of the sweet dreams you indeed had.

They were filled with sunlight, a lot of greenery and you were surrounded by soft and almost impalpable fabric which hugged you tight. Your fingers were playing with the stems of some flowers and you were trying to work on a crown made of bright yellow buttercups, but something resting in your lap kept snagging your attention with its cute gestures. It had fluffy ears, blonde hair, lidded hazel eyes–

You clear your throat, before asking him: “Were you just sniffing me?”

While it’s the most unsubtle change of topic you ever saw, it does its trick: Jimin blinks once, before opening his eyes wide in a bewildered expression and he straightens up at once. You didn’t even notice he was inching closer to you until he did that.

Now he’s the one to blush. And he’s either a fast learner or just better at making an exit, but he inform you in a dismissing tone that he ‘started on breakfast; c’mon let’s go before it burns’, then he turns around, tail swishing agitatedly behind him and hurries down the hallway towards the kitchen, without waiting for you.

You make use of those spare seconds where you’re alone to regroup and calm yourself a little bit. There’s no reason for him to try and bring up the topic during the rest of the day, not if he wants to avoid being questioned about his behaviour. Which is in all probability completely normal by hybrid standards, since they are so susceptible to smells and whatnot. Still, you’re going to exploit that slight weakness to the best of your ability, because you do not want to feel so caught off guard again.

When you enter the open kitchen Jimin is in front of the stove, turning a golden omelette in the pan, with the table already set for you two. In fact, you can see he has already placed a poached egg on each of your plates, alongside– yeah, those are scrambled eggs and kale.

“Uh,” you utter, because the possibility that Jimin is only able to cook variations of eggs is not something you took into consideration.

His ears twitch and he spares you a look from behind his shoulder, smiling bashfully at your perplexed face.

“Your fridge is really empty,” he informs you lightly. “And the expiration date of those eggs were today, so I thought we could do a breakfast made of only those and kale. Is that okay?”

“Of course! You thought right, let’s not waste them,” you hurry to say, walking to the fridge to see if there is something to drink that isn’t energy drinks. The desolation inside squash your hopes, and you start to feel bad: not only he prepared breakfast for the two of you while you were busy forgetting he existed, but he did so when his options were so limited it was bound to be frustrating to conjure up anything. You close the fridge’s door and go to your coffee machine, only to see there is already a smoking cup sitting there, ready to be drunk.

Jimin brushes close to you when he goes to place the omelettes on your plates. He glances at the hot drink you took in your hands.

“That’s yours,” he tells you. “I tried to do it the same way you took it at lunch yesterday, while we were at the mall. I don’t know if I succeeded, though.”

“No, that’s… It’s perfect, thank you so much Jiminie,” you answer.

You feel kind of choked up, which is absolutely stupid and inevitable when you have such a sweet, caring, darling person who tries to accommodate you, even when it’s not their job nor their responsibility to do so. It’s been a while, since the last time someone took care of you in any form without it being related to their line of work…

Jimin laughs at you, even if he’s blushing again at the use of his nickname. He sits down at the table and watches with lidded eyes and a grin as you round it to sit in your place.

“You don’t know that, yet,” he points out. “You haven’t even tried it!”

So you bring the cup to your lips, blow air on it for a couple of seconds and take a sip. The rich flavour washes over your taste buds, warming your tongue. While the capsules you have are definitely not like the ones from your favourite café, it’s strong and delicious. You think that you wouldn’t mind switching your routine and stop going out for breakfast every morning, not when the alternative presents you with an eager and considerate hybrid sitting in front of you, watching your every move to see if you like what he did for you.

You hum, delighted. “It is good,” you reaffirm to him, before drinking again.

He smiles back, before taking his fork and gesturing to you to try out his food, too.

And you have to admit that, even if he indeed was only able to cook variations of eggs, at least he was great at doing so. They were golden, crisp and seasoned just lightly; once in your mouth, they immediately melted in a delectable way.

You are lost in contemplation, trying to appreciate the first warm homemade meal that you ate in quite some months, when Jimin begins to talk.

“I’m glad you like them,” he says, his fluttering eyes averted from yours, while he shyly smiles at his plate. “I woke up early today because I was so excited and I just couldn’t wait for you to get up, too. It felt like an eternity, so I chose to busy myself in the meantime.”

You blink back, baffled. Early, he says. As if you don’t set your alarm to 6 A.M. sharp every day and are such a late riser.

He seems to read your expression from beneath his long lashes, and he giggles. “You know,” he begins, before flicking his ears and catching your attention with their movements. “Cat genes. Sometimes in the middle of the night, I wake up and I’m filled with a nervous energy so strong that it’s useless trying to go back to sleep. It’s better if I just do something to dispel all of that build up exuberance.”

Jimin has the zoomies, is the first thing you think. And then it’s a struggle moving on from that thought. You try to keep your face blank while he continues eating, none the wiser to the series of adorable images that are following each other in your head.

You clear your throat to focus back on your breakfast, inadvertently catching his eyes. “Won’t you be tired during the day, then?”

“Oh, yes,” he answers, shrugging his shoulders. “I usually take several naps in the afternoon and late evening.”

You wish you could do that, too. But on a more serious note– You try not to frown and for a couple of minutes, you limit yourself to eat the kale and the scrambled eggs. It’s when you’re almost done with your meal and you’re sipping the remaining coffee, that you point out the thing that had you preoccupied.

“I wonder… would you rather stay here, today? So you can rest, since you slept so little.”

Immediately Jimin looks on high alert, with his eyes opened wide and ears straight upon his head. He’s so agitated that his nervous tail hits one of your legs under the table; he doesn’t even seem to notice, as focused as he is on what you just said.

You can’t imagine why he seems so caught off guard. Of course, you’d rather he went with you so you could, for starter, get to know him more; then you’d feel better knowing he’s not alone in your messy apartment free to discover the complete state of disarray it verses on and, lastly, you’re pretty sure it is expected of you to take him with you so that he could get used to the agency and your job.

However, this is his first day out of the shelter, he admitted he’ll get quite tired and you don’t think he’ll have many opportunities to nap in another brand new place surrounded by strangers. That seems to matter very little because your consideration appears to have been regarded as a distasteful offer.

“No!” Jimin promptly denies your suggestion vehemently, while shaking his head at you. You swear the fur on his velvet ears is raised in alarm as well. “I’ll be alright, totally okay really, I’ll sleep once we get back and– and tonight probably I won’t be compelled to get up, so I’ll get used to your schedule just, uh, fine!”

Now you’re the one taken back by such a strong reaction, but you quickly shrug it off when you see your phone light up with a text message. A quick glance informs you that Lee is asking if you’re running late or if he should just wait for you at the building. Swiftly you write back ‘omw to agency w/ J’, before rising from your seat.

Seemingly on instinct, Jimin follows your lead. When he gets up he takes the dishes and puts everything in the sink, watching you with a light furrow between his brows while you check your appearance one last time on your pocket mirror.

You put it in your purse, then turn and smile at him. “Then let’s go, it’s time to start the day.”

His face relax in an easy grin, with soft rosy cheeks and gentle hazel eyes, all signs of preoccupation wiped away as if they never even existed. “Show me the way.”

It’s 7:45 in the morning when you get out of the company issued car in front of your agency. Jimin follows you with a picture-perfect expression of curiosity colouring his face, brushing against your side when he starts to walk with you towards the entrance. You can already see Jeong-hoon through the glass doors, curved on his phone by Jin-eu and you certainly can spot the way his lips are downturned, the distinct two lines on his forehead that appear every time he’s holding back some kind of negative emotion.

You conceal your sigh.

In a matter of seconds, you have passed through the entrance and are headed towards the receptionist, who is already scanning Jimin up and down. Fortunately, there aren’t many people around, and those present are all busy doing their job, so he isn’t on the receiving end of too many double backs. But he seems to catch on to her curiosity and he stops looking around, marvelling at each new aspect he finds interesting, to look back at her with a more guarded expression.

Jin-eu simply smiles at him, before greeting you by your name, thereby snatching Lee’s attention, who hurries to send one last text before raising his head up. While he straightens his suit’s jacket and fidgets with his cufflinks, as if he could ever be caught dead in any kind of unkept, it becomes blatantly obvious that he had already contrived a plan of action for today and that he had sought a helping hand to facilitate everything.

In fact, Ms Yi doesn’t waste any time before she turns her pretty black eyes on the only hybrid present. “Hello, you must be Park Jimin,” she deduces, before pointing at her own nametag in lieu of introducing herself. “I’m sure you’re aware that, as the companion of Hitomi, it’s quite expected of you to tag along in most of her endeavours.” She barely waits for his nod of confirmation before proceeding, a polite smile firm on her ruby red lips. “For you to be able to do this you’ll need to have your own badge, so anyone will be able to identify you and there won’t be any unfortunate mistakes. Since we have already taken the liberty to fabricate everything you’ll need with the information we were provided, we only need your approval and your signature on a couple of documents.”

On her organized desk appears the items she hinted at and in the next blink Jimin is holding a pen in his hand and he’s looking over the written words presented in front of him, a slightly bewildered look upon his face. He doesn’t seem too bothered, however, because his ears are relaxed back and his tail is flicking just a tiny bit.

When you turn around, manager Lee is pointedly trying to send you a hint by making eyes at his own phone and then at you. You retrieve your own device just to see he indeed texted you. It must have been the last message he sent, too, because in his hurry he butchered some words.

i distracr Jimin you ned to talk to mangment, it reads.

You raise an eyebrow at that, sending the most deadpan expression you can manage before you answer him: I’ll talk to mangment, but stop being inconsiderate and don’t overwhelm him.

He doesn’t read it, but you know he can be a sneaky one when he wants, and he’ll do it without being discovered as soon as possible. In the meantime, he looks appeased, probably guessing you’ll do your job anyway. You try to be likewise pleased, knowing he’ll heed your words and treat the hybrid nicely enough, but still, it’s unlikely you’ll see him for the rest of the day and it’s hard being gratified with that knowledge.

In your line of work, there’s seldom a break and there aren’t many parts where your input is taken into consideration, and since the idea of adopting had been brought up by the PR’s director and the order was issued directly by the CEO, you suspect that all the important people already know of the new addition. Whether he likes it or not, your hybrid has just been dragged in this world and you doubt they’ll ever let him go.

Jin-eu’s voice puts a momentary end to your mopey thoughts: “Perfect! Please remember to keep the badge on your person every time you come here, because even if people will soon start to recognize you as Hitomi’s partner, you’ll still need it to access some upper-level sections that are otherwise restricted to lower-ranked personnel.”

“Yes, thank you,” says Jimin, with a little secretive smile on his full lips and a light blush colouring his cheeks. Now that, is something to wonder at. What could Ms Yi have possibly said to make him react to that? Did you miss something important?

That idea unsettles you, and you immediately try to stop your abnormal and useless fretting. For once someone is there to help with that.

“Mr Park,” begins cordially the man at your side. When the hybrid turns to look at him, he extends his palm and you watch them shake hands. “I’m H’s manager, my name is Lee Jeong-hoon. In case you’re in need of anything or have any worries that need to be assuaged, please know I’m here to assist you to the best of my ability. If you’re not sure how to do something or are uncertain of one particular aspect or another I’ll be glad to help you whatever you’re struggling with, as well.”

“Nice to meet you,” says Jimin. Then, looking a little awkward for being put on the spot, he sends you a rapid glance, before blurting out: “I have your number on my phone.”

Silence wrap all of you in its suffocating embrace for a couple of moments.

“Ah,” answers Jeong-hoon genially, before giving a single nod. “Good.”

Then Ms Yi helpfully interjects: “Mr Lee, since you’re such an accomodating manager, could you give Mr Park a tour in my stead? I’m afraid I don’t have much time to spare, certainly not enough for giving justice to every floor and you’ll be the most adept to answer any questions regarding Hitomi.”

You wonder if your dear friend deliberately asked the receptionist to kiss his ass as much as she could, or if she’s always been so good at offering platitudes. For a moment you even contemplate the chance that she’s coating her every word in irony before she turns to you. While you have only exchanged greetings and little else with her, Jin-eu regards you with a kind expression that appears completely genuine, as far as you can ascertain.

“I was instructed to inform you that the director of management is expecting you in his office. The meeting with the marketing team that was cancelled yesterday has been rescheduled to start in half an hour in CONF_303,” she informs you. “I’m sure Mr Lee will have finished by then and he’ll bring you back Mr Park along with the rest of your timetable. Have a nice day, all of you.”

That said Jin-eu turns her attention back on her tasks, and starts typing furiously on the keyboard as if engaged in a personal vendetta against whichever thing has her now preoccupied. Taking her plain dismissal for the clue that is, Jeong-hoon doesn’t waste any time before taking back the reins.

He claps his hands together a single time. “Well,” he starts. “Looks like we all have our things to do before meeting up again.”

You imagine that Lee is expecting everything to go smoothly from that moment, but it appears Jimin has another idea. He almost scrambles to be by your side, eyes wide open and pleading. Not only it seems like he’s beseeching your approval, but it’s as if in his frenzy he forgets he’s in a public place. In a matter of seconds, you find yourself plastered to a hybrid, all his firm muscles and soft curves pressed against you, his head pushed firmly to yours, and you're left immobilized and staring straight ahead of you.

Jeong-hoon brows furrow and even Ms Yi raises her head from her work the time necessary for arching one of her slim, perfectly plucked eyebrows. You silently share their bewilderment.

“Wha–”, you start, forcing yourself to not struggle away from the sudden embrace. Like a prey frozen in front of apparent danger, contemplating the chance to dash off, you know rationally that it’d be best for you to remain still, but you’re itching to race away. Surely there must be a reason why he’s acting like that and putting distance between you two seems like the thing he’d hate you to do most. You try to focus on that thought instead of your agitation.

“I told you yesterday,” Jimin interrupts you, with a barely-there voice. You don’t think he’s deliberately trying to conceal what he’s saying to you from the others, it looks more like he’s currently unable to reaffirm himself. “I told you I would follow you all day long. That I looked forward to it. I… I don’t want to leave.”

“Ah,” you muster, patting the arm around your waist in a vague attempt to supply comfort. “But you won’t leave the building, I’ll be there–”

“No,” he cuts in, again. He pushes his head even firmer against your hair, strengthening his hold on you. “I don’t want to leave you.”

You raise your eyes to the ceiling, either asking for divine intervention or trying to catch a glimpse of his face, you’re not sure. Your beating heart definitely didn’t skip a beat and you’re not flustered. Not at all. When you lower your gaze you catch your manager’s, and you try to compose yourself to at least give the semblance that you know what to do in this circumstance.

“Jimin,” you say, your voice on the point of being suffocated, trying to remain lax in his hold.

You should be able to find comfort in it, but you aren’t used to… to that. Nowadays if you hug someone it's an event that's over in a matter of seconds, blinks of time that flow by you before you could register the feel of it. But he holds you steadfast, and he’s warm and solid, no figment of your imagination. He’s strong – you can feel it in the way his arms are tensed around you, the sinewy energy hiding just under your fingertips – and he’s also so deliberate in the way he pulls you against him: he secures you to him, but in doing so he remains careful, not putting any pressure around your ribs.

It should be nice.

In the dream you definitely didn’t dream last night, it was nice.

And yet you have to suppress the want to fidget, to slip away and put distance between you. So that you can catch your breath and refocus. You, who have spent almost a decade painstakingly training your body to move each of your muscles as you desire, that has worked to have efficient control of every part of yourself, feel lost. You don’t know what to do with yourself and it’s a struggle to even think. In a queer, unfathomable way, it seems like you’re an outside force looking on the scene, with no power to alter anything, just a spectator of your own life. While you don’t want to hurt his feelings, while you want to address his worries and reassure him that there’s no reason for him to panic, all you can concentrate on is how long is he going to hold you for, what you should do, what everyone around you is thinking about that. How to put an end to it.

You don’t say anything else, but he seems to catch up. In a gesture that appears reluctant, he lowers his arms, passing his nose near your ear in a last nuzzle, before taking a step back.

Breathing in and out, internally counting to calm yourself, you turn to look at him. He looks deflated, his fluffy ears trying to hide between his blonde locks, his eyes downturned. Even his tail is mostly still and gives a sudden, rapid flick when his gaze meets yours. You don’t know him as well as you wish, so you can’t be sure what emotions are turbinating behind his eyes, but you could swear he somehow perceived your unease.

“Jimin,” you start again, before clearing your throat when you notice your voice still sound a little bit smothered. His ears raise up in attention. “Let me show you the map of the building, for starters. So you’ll know where you’re more likely to find me if you’re searching for me.”

Lee reads the room easily and nods. “Yeah, good idea. I’ll double-check that the paperwork is in order, just give me five minutes.”

You barely register what he told you, taking Jimin by his hand and gently leading him towards the nearest floors plan, hoping that the few meters distancing you from the reception desk will lend you a little privacy.

While you walk there you can feel his grip around your hand tightening, his tail brushing against your side. You can also hear Ms Yi asks Lee if he truly has so little faith in her and her competence that he feels the need to check her every move, and his amused voice is clear when he quips back that while he’s sure she is a wonderful, hardworking receptionist, maybe the heavy workload could bring her to make some mistakes. And he just doesn’t want her to embarrass herself, isn’t he such a sweet and attentive person?

Vaguely you wonder to yourself if they are actually closer than what you were brought to believe at first glance, or if they are just exceptional in faking cluelessness; maybe their ability to avoid awkward situations is mandatory for their job positions.

Once in front of the building’s plan, you halt, and Jimin comes to your side, taking care to hold a slight distance between you two that has never been there before. You keep ahold of his hand, brushing your thumb back and forth in a vain attempt to reassure yourself him, but you remain facing forward.

“This is where my personal office is allocated,” you begin, pointing it out easily with your free hand. Then you show him where you usually go to practice, where the communal canteen is, where is your studio. You do so almost automatically, taking your time to ponder how to approach the topic you truly want to discuss with him.

When you start to run out of places, you take all your courage and start: “I would like for you to be near me during most of my workday and to make this possible you need to know where everything is, where you can go without being questioned and where it’d be better for you not to follow me. I don’t think they’ll like you very much, my superiors I mean, if you were to accompany me during important meetings where all my concentration is required. If you were there I would have to resist talking to you, and frankly that sounds like a very difficult thing to ask of me. Allow me to be selfish and ask something difficult out of you: please don’t tempt me with a good time.”

This pries a tentative giggle out of him, and you are run over by a powerful wave of satisfaction and relief, feeling as if you can return to breath more freely. In your renewed confidence, you find the nerve to tug him towards you; he easily follows your lead and you bump his shoulder with yours. You never relinquish your hold of his hand, finding the way his palm press against yours reassuring.

“We’ll be there five days per week, for most of the time, this will be your second home in all but feeling and fact, so it’ll make me feel so much better if you were able to move around, never running the risk of getting lost and being in need of help.” And then, looking at the way he starts to frown, you hurry to add something a little cheeky. “Far from being the only idol present, I can certainly image you running in someone prettier and kinder, who will be there to rescue you and catch all your affection, and then what will I do? You’ll ask to leave, and I’ll have to get back to a very empty apartment, all by myself, surrounded exclusively by the chaos I’ve made with no motivation to clean it, with no one to share my meals with.”

Jimin’s airy, Tinkerbell-like laugh rings out before you’ve finished talking but even so, he’s already shaking his head at the depressing scene you painted for him.

“No,” he denies between breaths. “I would never run off with the first person who is nice to me.”

You hold your tongue, not wanting to point out the obvious – because he had run off with you, hadn’t he? - and instead, you conspiratorially smile back at him: “Ah, I see, you won’t follow the first, but there’s no telling with the second or the third who will help you out in your moment of need.”

Jimin vehemently protests against that notion, but you dramatically sigh and continue: “There’s no helping it, with such a sweet hybrid like you I’m going to have to ward off many people, but surely you can try to ease my fears and learn to move in this place so as to not get lost?”

You know you are not fooling him, and this isn’t your intent, but the back and forth seems to have relaxed him enough that, if not ecstatic, at the very least he looks resigned to get it over with.

You take care not to mention the reason behind your previous discomfort, not wanting to shift the scrutiny on you.

And how would you have explained it away, besides?

You couldn’t come out and declare: ‘Ehy, it’s totally fine. It’s not you, I mean it. It’s just that I’m so touch-starved that continued exposure to intimacy easily overwhelms me.’

Because that sounded absolutely normal, and not a bit much to unload on the second day of your acquaintance with someone. You would at least let the first week pass, before trying to talk to him about your fucked-up boundaries or whatnot. If you could get away with it, you wouldn’t talk of it, full stop. Sadly, that wasn’t an option, because you were a responsible adult that didn’t shy away from displeasing talks.

Ugh.

Talking about being adults… You spy Jimin’s ears raise up in alert from the corner of your eye, and soon enough Jeong-hoon is clearing his throat from behind you. He must have checked his watch and concluded you had enough time to talk it out.

When you turn around he smiles, but you can see that he’s starting to fret, and while you usually would agree that making any director wait was something you should strive to avoid, this time you think you had a valid reason for your potential tardiness.

“Jiminssi, are you ready?” He asks anyway, even if it’s evident that he expects to hear only one answer and he won’t accept any other. The hybrid spares a quick glance your way, as if to gather all the assuredness he can, then he gives a quick nod and when Lee starts to walk, he follows him.

You have to let go of his hand and all the time – while you’re watching his figure disappears in an elevator, while you take your own lift to go to the director’s office, and even while you are knocking at the mahogany door once there – you have to flex your fingers, to try to get rid of your nervous energy.

You already miss his palm against yours, the way his fingers perfectly fits in the empty spaces, so perhaps you’ll have to find out why you like his touch so much and rationalize it, before telling him that you do your best to avoid all superficial contacts. Maybe… maybe he could eventually be your only exception.

It became apparent that separating from Jimin had been a good decision when, five minutes in your private consultation with the management’s director, it turned out he doesn’t have any patience or consideration for the feelings of other people, nevermind hybrids’.

If it makes you uncomfortable hearing strangers speak of Jimin as an asset and being listed the myriad of ways the company can work him to benefit them, you can’t imagine how that would affect him.

That conversation and the subsequent meeting with the marketing team couldn’t have been over sooner and even if just an hour went by, you felt as if they had leeched out all the energy you had in store for the day. To be completely sure you are going to be dead tired by the time lunch rolls around, your considerate manager informs you through text that your schedule of the day sees the regular three hours of training placed immediately after.

You’re only half an hour in, when Jimin reappears, looking the part and acting as a mirage; you certainly feel like a desperate lost soul in search of a reprieve.

You have just completed your extensive warm-up, already in need of a break and utterly dishevelled, when you see the door of the practice room inch open. You watch through the mirrors lining up the wall the way his ears peek inside, soon followed by the rest of the head. He’s got a tentative smile and a somewhat circumspect expression about him, as if doubting his welcome.

“Hi,” he greets you when he meets your reflected gaze.

“Hi,” you call back, with a decidedly breathier tone, combing back the astray hair that escaped your scrunchie to achieve a semblance of order.

He takes that as his permission to walk inside. Once in he checks his surroundings, probably categorizing away all the oh so interesting particularities of the bare, empty and generic room. Usually, there are more people utilizing the same place, working side by side, but currently, you are the only one that is preparing herself for a tour, and most know you like being on your own when you need to concentrate, so it’s just you two.

Like when we came back home yesterday, you think unhelpfully to yourself, while you’re sipping your Gatorade. Quick as lightning, your mind replays the way he brushed his lips against your wrist, the intense expression on his face when he told you to dream of him, the erratic beating of your heart. How he made you feel alive, present, living the moment to the fullest, even if that moment lasted only a few seconds.

So, anyway, you end up sputtering out some of what you were drinking. Yeah, not your brightest moment, but at least he doesn’t witness it, since he’s checking out the playlist on your phone. The speakers let out a catchy pop song, and you’re somewhat surprised when you see him humming the harmonies to himself.

“I recognize some of these, I think,” he tells you promptly, scrolling through them while you covertly try to regain your breath without coughing up your lungs. “Are any of them yours? I’m sorry,” he bashfully sends you a rapid glance, just as you’re placing down your bottle, his tail flicking nervously behind him, and you force yourself to focus on what he’s saying. “I know more about classical music, and it’s been a while since I’ve listened to anything modern so I’m out of the loop. I don’t even know much of what’s it like, being an idol. I promise I’ll listen to what you put out.”

“Oh,” you say, surprised he even thought that was a topic which he should have done his homework on and therefore that any apology was in order. As if he was lacking on that front. “Don’t worry, yes it’s my job, but you don’t have to know everything I’ve ever done in my career to show your support. As for your question, uhm–” you halt, thinking back.

You don’t really pay much attention to what is in the background when you are just doing basic training, as it’s the case today, and not working to get down a choreography.

“Probably,” you start tentatively, “there are some that are mine…?”

Jimin raises an eyebrow at your unconvinced tone and unsure expression. Fair enough.

You shrug at him: “This is just for me to build back my stamina and get back to the best shape possible. We’re preparing for a comeback, so it’s imperative that I’m at the top of my form when it’s time to face the upcoming tours, even if they’re two months from now and we haven’t released the single yet, nevermind the album. And the dance instructor and choreographers are still working on the moves, as well.”

His vacant eyes make you wonder if he actually caught anything that you told him, or if he’s in the middle of processing it. You awkwardly move to silence the alarm when it rings out, signalling the end of your five minutes break. You raise back the volume and when you get back to look at him, he is again with his feet down to earth.

“Since I’ve got no plan to go anywhere else, can I watch you while you train? Maybe you can answer some of my curiosities while you’re at it,” he asks you.

“Oh, sure,” you rush out while taking position in front of the mirror. This isn’t to be vain, because there is little worth being checked out when you are sweating like a pig, but more so to look over your form and be sure you are doing your exercises the correct way. “I don’t know how much I’ll be able to actually speak. After this one hour session, I’ll have to go to the gym to finish everything off.”

“Mmh,” he ponders out loud, stretching leisurely directly on your right so that you can look at him both through the mirror and the corner of your eye. “Sounds tiring. Maybe I’ll take a nap while I’m waiting for you to be done with it.”

You raise your head from the floor where you are already cursing the seemingly infinite series of situps you have to do, and yes, Jimin’s looking at you with an impertinent grin decorating his face. You huff, before putting down your head again. You stare at the white ceiling before you, counting the reps, a sleepy hybrid by your side that’s already started with his purring, and wonder how your life has come to that.

Two hours and almost a half later, you’re almost done with your morning schedule and, unsurprisingly, your life as well. The gruelling time you spent working on your body has been rendered even more brutal by the fact you haven’t put in any serious work since your last comeback, nearly nine months ago.

If this wasn’t enough, Jimin’s presence was a hard test all by itself. Being an idol means getting used to the spotlight and owning the stage, but somehow it was a different story with him and even if he shouldn’t have put you off so much, he truly unnerved you. Not only you were extremely conscious of every loud grunt and relieved sigh you let out, all this without even counting your messy appearance, but his intense, laser-focused eyes made you feel self-conscious even when all you were doing was drinking your stupid Gatorade.

Under his watchful look you had to wipe off, multiple times, all the dribbled liquid you managed to get on your chin and throat. It got so embarrassing even Jimin averted his gaze and pretended to be busy cleaning his nails, and you appreciated his effort, truly, but it was quite apparent he felt some kind of second-hand embarrassment by the blush that coloured his cheeks.

‘Any deity available that feel up to it, please hurry to rescue me. Or end me,’ had become your cheerful mantra.

While you can’t ascertain for sure the existence of a God, you believe there are some small mercies in this world. One of those is the fact that, right now, you’re the only ones surrounded by the gym equipment. There were a gaggle of other people before, but they mostly kept to their activities, drenching their curiosity with only sporadic, quick glances towards the hybrid always laying on the nearest bench to you. Now, finally finished with all your cardio, you’re ready to just go to eat.

Heeding your growling stomach, you send a quick text to Lee, asking him to retrieve a couple meals. There’s no way you’ll go to the communal cafeteria without showering first, but there’s also little chance you won’t just faint if you catch a quick one before eating something.

You immediately get down to stretch, gladly welcoming the way your muscles are loosening up, feeling the sweat you worked up beginning to cool off.

It’s ten minutes in and you’ve just stabilized your breathing, you’re sitting down, futilely struggling during one of those stupid exercises where you have to touch your toes and feeling like if you stretch some more your spine is going to break, when Jimin wakes up from his nap and immediately chooses violence.

Like the naive little fool you are, you don’t even notice his approach, and your fate is inevitable.

You have just straightened up a little, to catch the momentum and use it to rapidly get down and try to go beyond your ankles, when a wall encompasses you from behind. A sharp intake of breath and the next moment you find yourself curved over your extended legs, fingers well over your toes, folded like a pretzel and with an unmoving weight pushing you down.

The first thing you notice, truth be told, is the burning muscles screaming for being forced to go well over the usual breaking point, so for the first few moments, you’re a little busy internally cursing up a storm.

But then, all the other senses get their moment to shine and, little by little, in a painful gradual way, you become distinctly conscious of him.

Jimin’s chest is pushed against you, de facto acting as a wall of muscles against which you have no chance to resist; Jimin’s arms surround you, cocooning you in their circles; Jimin’s light hair and Jimin’s warm breath are brushing against your face, one moment touching your nape and the next one against one of your cheek; Jimin’s muscular thighs are folded over, pressing against your sides and encapsulating you in a little place: underneath you the floor and your own trembling legs, all around you– him.

Botton line: Jimin is sprawled on your back.

You have just come to terms with that fact (that’s a lie, you’ll be thinking about this specific moment for the next few months, wondering if that truly happened to you and being devastated by the fact that it must indeed have happened) when he lets up and like a spring that was restrained, you bounce back, sitting up as if electrified.

“Careful,” he giggles from what seems a mile away, so loud your heartbeat is resounding to your own ears. “You almost caught my nose there.”

“Nice,” you sputter out, frazzled. “I almost caught a heart attack over here.”

His laugh rings out, but your concentration is broken, your composure vanished, your self-awareness is on an all-time high. Your own skin itches, as if your body is an ill-fitted suit, rubbing your exposed nerves and scratching uncomfortably against that nagging feeling inside you, snagging on it, catching on that uneasiness which never leaves, ready to raise up like goosebumps every time you're touched, that makes you feel so wrong. You’re left feeling like a misplaced object who mistakenly found itself inside a person, somebody who is receiving tenderness while being painstakingly conscious that you are unworthy of it.

You wish you could’ve enjoyed it. You suddenly are frustrated and angry because here is your cheeky companion, your friendly hybrid, trying to get closer to you, seeking out the physical affection his instincts demand he finds to be assured of his place in the pack. A pack that is new, because you’ve just picked him up and placed him in an unknown territory, and therefore he’s in need of all the reassurance you can spare. You know that, you want to be able to withstand it, you are mostly sure you want the closeness as well and yet, you recoil.

Oh, this moment that lasted a half minute is going to live in your thoughts forever, because you’re going to think about it, yes. And you’re also going to dream of it. But that’s it. You’ll be left wanting, yearning for several other moments like that, longing for them and dreading their very own existences the second they’ll happen. You’ll wish for that eternal fraction of time resting in between the instant you’re taking in the love bestowed on you and the bit where you realize it’s all a mistake.

You stand up.

The stretching session is over.

Stop thinking, stop feeling. Focus on now. Now.

You’re fumbling with your bag, searching for a towel to wipe off the sweat beading your forehead. You did so before you started your cooling off routine, but now you’re again a shivering and overheated mess. As if you normally aren’t a disarray of–

But no, that isn’t the thing you should be thinking of.

You check your phone (Lee sent you a grumbling text, but he did manage to pick up your lunch), and your skin is prickled: you can feel Jimin’s eyes on you, the questions hovering behind his silence, the suspects you nurture that tell you he knows something is up, that he can feel it.

It’s okay, he’s too nice to press you, he’ll let you tell him everything when you’re ready. No, not when you’re ready, because you’ll postpone it forever… next week, that’s what you decided on. How will you even start? How can you explain something so– so stupid, really. You’re a baby, you seriously can’t even handle an extensive hug? But no. It’s not next week yet, now is now, so: stop thinking about it!

You let out a quivering sigh, and then you laugh it off.

“C’mon, Jimin. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving” you say, shouldering your bag, and sending him a smile. A beat passes, and he grins back at you. But his ears remain folded sideways, and the questions are still lingering behind his eyes.

However, he is nice, a dear really, so he gets up and comes to you without voicing them. You walk side to side to your office, and on the way, your nerves settle down enough for you to reach out and hold his hand. He squeezes it back immediately, so you see: it’s okay, nothing happened.

Plastic bags were ruffled open, box and little containers were taken out, wooden chopsticks got separated and soon you were both busy eating all that you could get your hands on, sipping from cold drinks directly from the can.

For a while in your little office were you, in truth, seldom remained for any considerable stretch of time, there were only the satisfied murmurs and hums of two people appreciating their hot meals.

However, after the initial ravenous hunger had been sated, you initiated the conversation.

“You know,” you began, while dabbing a thin napkin on your mouth. Jimin looked up from his bite, ears pointed up in attention, slitted eyes focusing on you. “I usually eat with other idols and singers in the canteen. But I must admit this is quite a nice change of pace: here you could actually hold a conversation with the person in front of you without shouting.”

The hybrid, sitting in the comfy, leatherbound office chair usually reserved for you, regaled you with an arched eyebrow and a quick, almost sly grin. “Then we could make it a habit. So I won’t have to share you.”

That said, he went to lay back, no doubt attempting to casually recline against his seat and look upon you with all the condescension he could manage, sure he left you scrambling to regroup your neurons to coordinate an answer. Sadly, he didn’t take into account your society’s needs to add luxury options wherever it could to make more money, and he wasn’t ready when the backseat reclined down with him, leaving him to be the one scrambling about.

A loud hiss resounded. You immediately hid your smile behind your hand, pretending to be chewing something. His tail all puffed out and eyes enlarged for the fright, he gripped the desk so tightly you were sure he’ll leave behind the imprint of his sharp nails.

You’re thankful for his misfortune, because you don’t have to contemplate why he’s so eager to have you all to himself. Still, for his sake, you pretend nothing happened, and continue on: “I don’t think manager Lee would much care for your proposition.”

It would be nice, of course. You don’t mind the others, checking in how it’s going, lamenting about minor things and occasionally bouncing off ideas on each other can be fun. But the lot of them are more out-going than you are, almost as if they were born to land on the pedestal they found themselves on; they’re there to engage everyone, to talk and to listen, always. So, cutting out a moment for just you, and of course Jimin, to relax a little without having to worry about keeping up any appearances sounds– delightful.

Your private office is quite secluded, made up of three solid walls which are supposedly soundproof (you never had the occasion to put that to the test since the loud action is exclusive to your studio) with a fourth made of glass, overlooking the city. Or, to say it like it actually is, presenting you with the thrilling view of all the other taller buildings surrounding you and the almost ever-present fog and smog, always ready to blur the landscape in an eery, dim illustration taken straight out of a gothic story.

If one were to act ostentatious, the interior could be described as minimalist. There’s the wooden desk, on one of its sides is the leatherbound chair where Jimin is currently fidgeting and absorbed in a thorough investigation with a suspicious look upon his face, two beige armchairs opposite. Some abstract paintings on the walls of artists you perhaps should know of, but struggle to recall, a mini-fridge that’s always empty because you’re never here, a pretty bookshelf half-empty with some classics and ornamental curiosities ready to attract a bored eye and all the dust they can. A plant in a corner that you suspect is fake, because during the last three years it went on remaining completely the same; a lush blue carpet in the middle of the room complete the desolate picture.

That’s it.

Excluding some personal knick-knacks undoubtedly lost in the drawers, you could leave this office tomorrow to someone else, and they wouldn’t need to get rid of anything before settling in.

You clear your throat. “Speaking of Jeong-hoon… this afternoon is going to be pretty boring, nothing out of the ordinary. I’ve got meetings after meetings before my appointment with the vocal coach. We’re still going to return home quite late, so I think if it’d be better to take advantage of the early afternoon to go grocery shopping so that we don’t end up like this morning.” You try for a smile, but he’s already frowning at you before you even finish your proposition. “Would you like to go accompanied by Lee?”

He doesn’t answer you. Verbally, at least. The glare he’s directing towards you speaks by itself, and it looks like he’s trying to intimidate you in a sudden change of heart.

“You can take everything you want,” you try to soften him up.

He doesn’t hesitate. “Ok, I want to take you with me.”

Aw, c’mon, Jimin, you silently lament to yourself at that. Don’t do that.

But it’s to no use, he’s already pouting. Pushing around the last scraps of his lunch with his chopsticks, almost glowering at it with downturned ears and slanted eyebrows, he makes for quite a pitiful vision.

It doesn’t last. He lets out what appears to be a long-suffering sigh and relents: “I was just joking.” You both know that’s a lie, so he goes on, and explain: “I’ll be fine with manager Lee. I just wanted to hear you sing, too.”

You reach over the desk, patting him amicably on his unoccupied hand. As you expected he immediately turns it around to hold yours, the gesture appears as a blur so fast are his reflexes.

“It won’t take much time,” you’re quick to reassure him. “You’ll be able to come back and listen to me, if that’s what you really wish.”

“That’s what I want,” Jimin nods decidedly.

“Of course,” you indulge him. “But, consider this: it will also be nice to do things on your own, so that whenever you have to come with me at the agency you won’t be confined to this building and to the inevitable boredom that will assault you. You can just go out, do whatever you want without having to wait for me all the time.”

He listens to what you tell him, just like he lent his ears this morning when you calmed him down in accepting your temporary separation. Still, it looks as if it’s a struggle, on his part, to accept his own independence, the fact he exists as a whole even, if not especially, when he’s detached from you.

“Even if you think it’s boring, it’s all new to me,” he says at last. “I like seeing you here, in your element, being confident and doing what you love to do. I don’t want to be anywhere else, when I’m here with you.”

He’s grown quite attached in an extremely short period, it is now too apparent to pretend he’s just the most affectionate person in the world you ever had the pleasure to meet. You don’t know if you’re exaggerating or projecting, but it feels as if he’s trying to desperately clutch at you, seeking all the attention you can provide, maybe even endeavouring to tempt you in a codependent pseudo-relationship. After all, if you start to wish for his affection, it’s less likely you’re going to give him back to the shelter. Not that you have the intention to do that, of course, but… it would explain everything, wouldn’t it? Why would he exert himself to cultivate a reciprocate fondness, nourishing it with constant vigilance and lovely touches, if not to gain something out of it?

It hurts to think like this of Jimin. But in your experience, no one gives out any form of love just for the sake of it. And you? Why would you ever deserve it?

“Don’t think I don’t want you here,” you start, trying to stop your harassing thoughts. “It’s just that… this is my job, yeah I love it most of the time, but it’s not easy or always exciting. And even if you’re really patient, well-mannered and sweet, I’m going to worry about you.” You stop to draw a breath and confide to him: “I’m going to be anxious, thinking: is he really doing okay? Does he wish to do something else? Is he going stir-crazy? It would put my mind at ease to know that if you want you can walk out and do other things.”

Jimin looks at you straight on, hazel eyes gradually vanishing while his pupils slowly expand, remaining stock-still. He seems still a little unsure, so you squeeze the hand still in his unyielding hold and add: “Then, at the end of the day, once we’re home, you can tell me all the things you did when I wasn’t around, and if you saw something you wanted to try out with me in our free time. You know, ideas for our quality time.”

He brightens at that. “And you would do it? You would accompany me?”

“Of course, if that’s what you want,” you answer, sounding like a broken record. Because: does he want you around? Or does he just needs you to like him enough to be free? And can you begrudge his possible facetiousness in face of the blatant fact that, in his eyes, it could very well decree his likelihood to attain more rights?

So it’s settled. And your accordance is sanctioned with your request to buy more cleaning products.

(“To be quite honest, I’m not even sure where the last ones I bought ended up.”

“Do you often misplace things?”

“I mean, I know they’re somewhere out there. If I really want to I can find everything. The problem is that I can’t be bothered, so yeah, I have lost things for months on end. But then they always turn up somewhere.”)

By then, you’ve gathered the trash, wondering where you’re going to stash it since your beautiful, unused office actually lacks a garbage can, of all things. You still have twenty or so minutes before you’ll have to hurry up and put yourself together, so maybe you’ll just find someplace to discard it safely on the way.

Jiminoffers no help to your dilemma, limiting himself to slow blinks. He’s clearly holding his head up only thanks to the support of his hand. He must be growing sleepy, but you watch him stubbornly fight against his lowering lids; he gives a little shake of his head and lets out an almost imperceptible growl anytime he catches himself on the point of headbutting the hardwood. It’s really endearing, so obviously your amusement lasts less than a Mayfly’s life. The moment you put the plastic bags filled with what remains of your meals on the ground and sit down again in one of the guest’s armchairs, he is at attention.

He gets up, fluidly, as if he never was two minutes away from drooling on your desk, and walks towards you. He stops from a moment in front of you, swishing tail cutting the air behind him, with his languid eyes fixed on yours.

Then he just plops on the left armrest, almost crumbling in your lap, stretching one of his arms behind the backseat, with the hand of the other searching for your palm. Afterwards, seemingly content to remain perched on the furniture in such an unlikely posture, he lands his head atop yours and let out a content sigh against your forehead.

You’re stuck there, flabbergasted, confused and quite possibly also a little tiny bit flustered.

Anticipating your questions, Jimin mutters: “Can’t trust the office chair for naps.”

“Ehm,” you intelligently answer him, before pointing out: “There is another unoccupied armchair identical to this one precisely beside us.”

“Mmh-mmh,” he murmurs, pushing his head even harder against yours. Now it seems he’s actively trying to headbutt you.

Since what you’ve just told him appears bereft of any interest in his eyes, you try another approach: “Also, I’m still sweaty and gross.”

Jimin crowd you even more at that, letting his nose trail against your temple and cheek, before nudging against your throat. He breaths evenly for a little while, but just when you start to ponder if he just fell asleep on you, he sighs on your skin, searing it hot with his breath and your blush.

“You don’t smell gross, trust me,” he assures you in a whisper.

After that, twenty minutes go by inexorably slow and breathlessly fast.

You are half an hour into your singing session, struggling to not get frustrated every time you have to restart, when in the corner of your eye you see the door hitch open and a fluffy tail appears.

Jimin sneaks into the adjourning room accompanied by manager Lee. While the hybrid wastes no time before sitting on the couch, eyes pointed at you through the glass, Jeong-hoon nods in your direction just once, places a couple of documents on the low-end table in front of the sofa and takes his leave.

You don’t have time to ogle Jimin for very long, for you devote all your concentration to the session. Kang Eunseo is a kind coach, but she wants her demands to be met: she likes to pretend you’re already recording when you sing with her, so she books the recording studio and goes back and forth between the live and control room. She is a professional through and through, focused in her craft and in continuing to better your voice; she doesn’t spare even a glance to the new visitor, and simply walks around him, instructing you.

Since you don’t wish to be reprimanded nor do you want to be a source of disappointment, you keep your focus until the end. And even if you’re conscious of his presence, somehow he doesn’t discompose you as he did when he was beside you in the gym.

It’s when the clock is signalling 7 P.M. and your workday is officially over, that Ms Kang points out at the hybrid with her head and gives a chuckle.

Jimin is leaning against the couch’s arm, head tilted back and eyes closed. His lips are barely open, like a flower bud about to bloom, and even his tail, curled on his lap, is still. You turn off the lights in the live room, closing the door behind you; once you reach him you start to hear his low purrs.

Eunseo dons her jacket and shakes her long ponytail free from her backpack straps, then she bids you farewell with a silent wave and a slight smile. She tries to leave inconspicuously, but you both know how heavy is the door of the recording studio, and the noises are inevitable: even still, his ears don’t twitch when the coach takes her leave.

That must be a good nap, you think. You know you’re smiling, and you also know there’s no use to hold it back.

You sit beside him and for a while, you two remain there. How does Jimin look early in the morning, swaddled in his soft blankets, with the rising sun shining on his golden locks is still something you could only imagine. But now, even if it’s under the cold lights of a windowless room, even if he must be hardly comfortable with his head pushed so far back, he still paints such a pretty picture. He’s even smiling in his sleep, making you itch to know what his dreams consist of.

He’s irresistible, and you know you aren’t doing yourself any favours by staying there, watching him enraptured, looking and acting like a creep. But you don’t have the strength to wake him up.

You have finished with your day, yes, and usually that meant a mad dash to go back home, to bask in the sweet loneliness of an empty place, to decompress and breath more easily. Just to start all over again. It’s uncharacteristic of you, this wish to remain longer. You send a text to your assigned driver, telling him not to wait for you.

Feeling awkward and not wanting to make Jimin uncomfortable, you divert your eyes and, by chance, you glance at the documents Lee left behind. Glad of the distraction, you lean over to take them in your hands, and those soon sober up any giddiness you were experiencing.

It seems he’s already done his homework: here is the paperwork you’ll have to bring to the city hall to formalize what you’ve done yesterday. There’s a printed copy of the Acquisition of Hybrid lease you signed, other two forms – already filled in, because of course, Jeong-hoon won’t leave anything up to chance – full of “I, the undersigned” and things you’ll have to accept so that, once you’ll give them Jimin’s temporary documents, they’ll hand you back the Certificate of Adoption. And on his ID there’ll be written your name, too, under the label of ‘Guardian’.

There’s also a yellow sticky note, that reads: “You have a work permit for Friday, starting 2 P.M.”

So here you have it, the day in question. You won’t be able to turn back from that, it’ll be truly official. His future will depend on you, on what you’ll do to help him achieve what he set his eyes on and on how you’ll help him navigate this troublesome world.

You return to look at him, admiring his soft features and lean figure, for a couple more minutes. Sighing, you get up to put the documents in your discarded purse. There’s no use remaining here, keeping watch over him, stressing over the inevitable. You know you’re going to be a nerve-wracking mess the day of, but you’ll gladly spare yourself the anxiousness, for now.

Luckily, you have an idea to distract yourself. Jimin and Lee must have done their grocery shopping as well, and they must have stored everything in your private office, downstairs. Sparing a last glance at the snoozing hybrid, you leave the recording studio.

As you suspected yesterday, you aren’t much of a cook. After retrieving the ingredients that looked like they would withstand better your mistreatment, you made use of the communal kitchen reserved for the higher-ups. There, sure of the privacy, you required and with nothing else to lose but your dignity, you got to work.

Currently, you’re in front of the recording studio’s door, facing a struggle. See, you’ve been good: you’ve put your pan-fried vegetables on two plates with a couple of vegan hamburgers, then got them on a plastic tray together with the two bowls of Korean chicken soup and two closed bottles of water. Your taste tests while you cooked everything told you the food was edible, so you took a fortifying breath and decided to face Jimin’s judgment.

You managed to take the elevator, not even you are quite sure how, but the heavy door you’re currently braving is another matter altogether. A saviour comes to rescue you unexpectedly when someone opens it on the other side.

“Oh, thank you, Jimin,” you empathetically burst, ready to enter and place the heavy tray on the low-end table in front of the couch. What you didn’t expect was his reaction.

“You’re here!” He exclaims back to you, sounding surprised and relieved at the same time. His ears are pushed down against his head and his tail is all puffed up, as it was yesterday when he unexpectedly found those fans with you, in the shop.

He looks eager, as if he’s a moment away from jumping on you, but even in his confusion and panic, he still manages to notice you’re struggling, and comes to your help. Jimin takes the tray from your hands, hurrying inside to put it down, all the while continuing to turn his head back to look at you, as if to check your presence.

You follow him inside, closing the door, wondering why your hybrid – with eyes still crusted with sleep and a veritable, adorable bedhead – is more agitated than a mother of four kids, who has risen late and has little time to waste.

“You fell asleep, so I went to prepare us dinner after I was done with the training,” you hear yourself say, trying to justify your absence. You tentatively sit on the couch.

“Yes, yes of course,” he answers promptly, but he appears mollified by your explanation, and he immediately relaxes once he takes his place beside you.

Silence settles once again: on your part, you don’t know how to waddle through the tension in order to start a conversation, and Jimin appears completely fine steaming in the lingering awkwardness. So you watch him start to eat, munching on the passable food you gifted him. At least he’s not grimacing while he gulps down his bites, so you tentatively count it as a win.

But his behaviour doesn’t escape your notice: he keeps glancing at you every few minutes, progressively getting antsier, nevermind the fact that he’s trying to scoot towards you with all the nonchalance he’s able to exert. His efforts are in vain, for the leather material of the sofa squeaks and groans his displeasure each time he fidgets in your direction. And the strangest thing of all is that he keeps twitching his nose: you’d think he’s caught a cold with the amount of sniffing that’s going on.

You’re halfway done with your meal when Jimin quietly slurp down the remaining broth in his bowl and place it down. He sends you another zealous look and then, seems to come to a decision. A blink later, the hybrid slides towards you, closing the distance, before proceeding to rest his head against your shoulder, eyes closed.

You’re getting better at this, after a full day around him, you think, because you freeze for just a couple of moments, before relaxing. You even nudge against him, letting out a breathless laugh.

“Are you still sleepy?” You ask.

“Yep,” Jimin answers you blandly, seeking out your warmth by pushing his face near your neck. You can almost see by a third point perspective the blush that’s raising on your throat, and you certainly feel the heat spreading underneath your skin, lighting you up.

You push a piece of spinach around, wondering how in the world are you supposed to eat when you’ve got someone plastered to your side, breathing in and out against you, nuzzling his head with his soft ears pressed against your jaw.

“So,” you begin, trying to not get distracted by the way Jimin hums to let you know he’s listening. You swear you can feel his soft lips glance your skin. “How was your grocery shopping?”

A lame question. Something that is obviously not really what you’re currently thinking about. You expect him to laugh at you, but he gives a pause.

“It went well,” he says, at last, sounding bashful.

The hybrid doesn’t offer anything else, and you’re left with a vague curiosity. Did manager Lee say something out of line? Did they even talk, or was it just a painful, boring and tiring outing?

Quiet descends once more. In the next ten minutes, you try to finish your meal without disturbing him, a question or two get asked and answered by turn, whenever either of you remember something you wanted to know.

At last, you can’t withstand it anymore.

Jimin’s warm and soft, gentle in the way he still has most of his weight off you, only placing his side, shoulder and head against you. But the prolonged contact starts to be overbearing. He keeps pushing his nose against the hollow of your throat, to then follow a line that snakes towards your ear where, invariably, his pillow-soft lips end up brushing against the lobe. He sighs, he inspires so keenly it seems he’s taking his last breath before taking a plunge in the dark ocean and then, in the last couple of minutes, he started to purr as well.

It’s agony.

“C’mon,” you strain to say, mustering up the courage to get up. Jimin almost slides sideways once you raise, but in a fluid motion, he regains his balance. He looks up at you questioningly, with a petulant pout on his plump lips. He doesn’t look sleepy, at all.

You resist the urge to gulp. “Let’s go home,” you smile at him, offering your hand.

He halts his sulking at a moment notice, promptly capturing your palm against his.

“Mmh, let’s,” he acquiesces.

After spending the whole elevator ride reassuring him you won’t disappear and leave him behind, you briefly separate ways: you go back to the communal kitchen to place what you used in the dishwasher and he goes to retrieve the grocery in your office.

You meet back at the hall, where he insists on carrying it, even if the sleepiness is back and his eyelids are half-closed. “I’m right here, let me do it,” he pleads, so you don’t insist, even if the taxi you called takes its sweet time before arriving.

Perhaps you fell asleep on the journey back, because everything is a blur: you know you must have tipped the taxi driver, you’re pretty sure you greeted the concierge and you definitely also managed to open the door to your flat.

You know that because you’re in the kitchen, surrounded by plastic bags, busy putting away product after product, directing Jimin in what cupboard goes that one thing and scrubbing your eyes to fight against the urge to just fall asleep against the sink.

Usually, you have complete faith in Lee. But the hours of training he scheduled for you did a number on you: you can feel now how sore your muscles are, the numbness seeping out all the energy you’d usually have, because honestly, it’s still quite early in the evening. You’re 24, and you feel like an elderly woman who strained herself too much by taking a lengthy walk.

If tomorrow I wake up with an excruciating back pain…, you ominously think to yourself, while you go in the living room to place the cleaning products on the table, in plain sight. You dare them to disappear.

You give a little stretch, wondering… maybe you could find the time to luxuriate in a bath, before preparing to leave for work. Full of bubbles, with your favourite scents, hot and with classical music coming from the speakers of your phone.

The thought is lovely enough, so with your spirit somewhat restored, you turn back to Jimin. He followed you like a duckling, and now he blinks back at you, tail whishing lazily behind him.

You can’t resist the smile his adorableness calls forth. “Let’s go to sleep early, so we’ll be ready to face the day.”

Jimin walks to you, push forward his hand in a silent gesture, and follows you once you have it clasped in yours. You guide him to his room, already compiling a list in your head of the things left to do before you can rest: brush your teeth, check on the emails, tend an ear on the gossip mill…

“’night, Jiminie,” you tell him, halfheartedly suppressing a yawn. You give his hand a last squeeze and then you let go, walking to your room.

As a human being, your actions can be founded on fallacies. Right now, for example, you are acting on the wrong belief that you’ve done everything you had to do. You ate dinner, returned home in one place where you put things in their places and you bid your flatmate to sleep well, and now you can go back to focus on yourself.

Until yesterday, that would’ve been logical.

But your roommate isn’t an introvert, a temporary guest, wishing for the same things you want, and after such a busy day, half spent away from you a ‘’night, Jiminie’ just isn’t cutting it for him.

He teaches you that lesson at once.

You don’t even manage to open your bedroom’s door, because the moment you go to push the handle down, a palm appears on the doorframe. For a moment you look at it without understanding, because you didn’t even hear his steps, so all you register is: there’s a hand on my door?

A split second later you’re the one almost plastered to your door, trying to comprehend what’s going on. You’re trapped between the solid wood in front of you and the likewise firm body of the cat hybrid from behind. Just like that morning, you feel his breath on the back of your neck, but it seems this isn’t enough: his lips soon follow, brushing the tingling skin, tracing a path to one of your ears.

Deliriously you wonder what’s his deal with your them and the whole of your throat, too. Nevermind your wrists.

Because while he puffs there, nuzzling his head against yours, his other hand sweep down your side, skipping your wristwatch until he reaches your palm, soft fingers stroking your inner wrist as if he’s trying to clean a non-existent stain.

Then in his groggy voice, Jimin whispers to you: “A night isn’t enough. I want you to dream of me all the time.”

He raises the hand he’s got in his hold and you vaguely catch his profile from the corner of your eye when he reaches over your shoulder to kiss the palm. His lips are searing hot against your cold skin, and for a crazy moment, you think he just branded you with them.

The hybrid turns his head, holding your palm against his cheek, wanting you to cup his face. In the dark hallway, all you can see are his hazel eyes, lidded but sharp, pointed right at you. It should be an uncomfortable position (any possibly existing diety be merciful, you were internally complaining about sore muscles just ten minutes and an eternity ago and now–), but the only thing you’re aware of is him.

“Even if you do, even if you manage to think of me and meet me in your dreams, it won’t be enough to catch up to me, you know?” Jimin tells you in an undertone, as if he’s a conspirator sharing dangerous, life-changing secrets. You would compare the feeling to be akin to what a priest in a confessional must experience when he’s hearing the most shocking admissions – but your emotions aren’t quite what a man of faith should endure. “I want to spend all the time with you, with your attention on me. And since you’re such a busy hardworking woman, naps have just got even better for me.”

You’re struggling to follow his sentences, him asking you to discern the meaning behind them is too much. What could make a nap look even better for a cat hybrid? And where do you enter the equation in that?

Jimin nears you, and you swear you feel his pillowy lips brush against your cheek when he goes to whisper in your ear: “There I can be with you.”

“Oh,” you breath out, as if he truly swooped your feet from beneath you and showed the meaning behind a troublesome problem that plagued your existence until then.

He delicately leaves your hand, nuzzles his head a last time against yours and then you feel his chest, his warmth, break away from your back; he leaves you with a sweet, innocent: “Goodnight.”

You don’t even hear him retreating, and you notice he’s gone only when the door of his room opens and closes. While it doesn’t give you any credit, you must admit that you remain there, staring blankly in front of you, for a couple more minutes.

Then, frazzled, almost senseless, you go to your bedroom as well.

Did he do all… that, just because he was dissatisfied with the way you bid him goodnight? Did he want to be reassured you’d dream of him again? Was he just feeling like it? Did it mean anything to him?

You scramble to think back on the list of things to do that was so clear cut in your mind, following its directives numbly. You try not to watch your face in the mirror when you brush your teeth, because yes, your face is on fire, your eyes are shiny as if your soul is grappling to find an outlet to glint through. Your emails would bore you to tears, but there are so many mentioning ‘the new asset’ and ‘the cat hybrid you and Manager Lee acquired’ and ‘legal documents regarding your companion’, that you skim through them at best. Social media are even worse: everywhere you go you find the photos you took with those fans plastered, cut to show only you and Jimin, smiling, holding each other.

You set your alarms and leave your phone to recharge.

Laying in your bed, at barely 10 P.M., the sweet detergent on your soft pyjamas trying to fight off the lingering scent which you’ve come to associate with Jiminie in a day and a half of being acquaintances. Still reeling from the strong emotions he makes you go through, every brush against your hyperaware body that mean so much to you and that maybe for him are less than nothing.

If he’d have been taken in by anyone else, would he have acted the same?

You turn off the lights and curl yourself, bringing the covers up, over your head.

You tell yourself it’s a moot argument: he’s here with you. He just told you, and in a manner that was all but conviction itself, he had dreamt of you all day long, whenever he took a nap. In the gym between busy exercises, sprawled on the nearest bench, when he wasn’t watching you intently. After lunch, when he sat against you on the armchair, saying you didn’t smell gross (that was a fat lie, you can’t imagine otherwise) and purring loudly. Even when you were done with your vocal training and you watched him sleep on the couch, his head tilted back, and you were wondering what he was smiling about, he was dreaming of you.

You groan against your pillow, closing your eyes tight. You’re going to think about that every time you’ll see him sleeping, you just know it.

Did he do it on purpose? Does he want you to wonder, constantly, what’s going on in his head?

He told you he gets random bursts of energy during the night, and you can’t help but wonder if he also gets bolder with his tiredness, if you’re destined to battle against his suaveness every time the sun goes down.

No matter how much you try to force yourself to focus on anything else, it’s an exercise in futility, and you fall asleep still thinking of Jimin.

If you liked it, please Reblog and Comment!

Your support would truly help me and I’d like to hear from you!

Thank you so, so much for reading all that, and for waiting for the update. It took half my life to write it, and while there are some bits that I really love, others seem lacking to my eyes. Even still, I didn't want to overthink too much.

A remainder: English is not my first language, so please tell me if you notice any blatant mistakes. Also, I copied and pasted everything and double-checked, but there might be some words put together where there should be a space in between: please ignore it? I'll re-read the chapter ten more time, eventually, and fix it.

Two things, before I leave you.

Jimin leaves you to have his tour with manager Lee. This you??

Ok, it's not a question, it's a fact. That was you. Can't blame you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, the stretching scene should have reminded you of this:

Lastly, the dear, sweet people who asked to be tagged:

@4evahevah @sevenpersona @cloverblogs @thedyingwriter

Thank you, see you soon~ (｡●́‿●̀｡)

#hybrid bts #hybrid au #bts au #fluff #jimin fluff #cat hybrid jimin #bts x you #bts x reader #bts fluff #to be natural masterlist #jimin #x reader #bts fanfiction #park jimin x reader #jimin x reader #jimin x you #female reader #jimin fanfic

[linawritestwst]

Congratulations on 100 followers 🎉🎊

You definitely deserve around of applause and support!!

As your fellow reader, if you dont mind may i request for a matchup?

my prns are she/her. unlabeled.

In terms of a partner, what I'm exactly looking for is someone who is responsible, mature, reliable, trustworthy, ambiverted, independent, calm and reserved, knows how and loves to cook and clean, caring, understanding, communicative, hardworking, loves quality time, respects people, animal lover, foodie and lastly someone who I think I won't have a chance with 💀💀

With appearances, tall people with glasses along with a neutral face expression and well dressed catches my eye. I'm okay to be match with anyone except the first years and staffs (their my found family)

I would hate a partner who is absolutely controlling that takes away my independence. Also a partner who constantly needs to take all my time, yes a clingy one to the point where I dont have time for myself and I have to always talk to them. I also do not like a stubborn partner, communication and understanding is the key if u dont want to communicate and understand, then bye.

I'm very pretty. (fake it till u make it babes) I have either cat or snake like eyes. I think my eyes are very pretty hihi. I have a baby face. even though i want to dye my hair I can't deny that my natural black hair suits me the best. I'm in the right height for my age. Has pale skin but not that pale, i either look fresh or dead it depends on the day fr. I have such an expressive face and can't rlly hide what i feel 💔😔

Ah yes personality. I do things best when I work alone. I'm quite quiet when i either hate u or don't know u or both. Very chill but has the loudest and ugliest laugh. Carefree but has shit together somehow. I'm very indecisive in every decision. Very accepting and just easily moves on with life. Can't help but be dramatic sometimes. Sadly, doesnt know how to say no to people. Would rather walk away than fight. Has potential no motivation. Stupidly smart, Confidently insecure. When interested in smth I would try my very best, if not then why should I. Holds back every rage inside. Curiousity will kill me. Forgetful and head is mostly in the clouds. Unknowingly academic obsessed. Polite to everyone. Finds way to make income bc i love moneyy that i deserved/ earned through hard work and goes crazy with cats and food. Soft with kids, animals and people who i like <3

Let's not forget my negative traits since they are a part of me. Becomes a ghost to everyone atleast 3x a week. Gives up on a thing if they aren't instantly good at it. Hoards all the work by myself and then complains why I'm doing all the work. Always sees myself in a negative light. I believe that I'm talentless. HYPOCRITE!! (I'm trying to improve I swear)

I'm a leo sun, aries moon and gemini rising and a Intp-t

hi, i hope you like this matchup! <3

the character that i think would be a good partner for you is..

trey clover!

i'll explain why i chose him:

tall? check! glasses? check! not a first-year and not a staff member? check! he also has almost all personality traits that you've listed: he's responsible, mature, reliable, trustworthy, calm, knows how to cook and clean, caring.. do i need to go on?

he would never try to control you or anything like that, he thinks it's cool that you're independent! though he might get a little too caring at times have you brushed your teeth today y/n but that's just a habit, he's used to being the "older brother" type of friend.(and of course, being an actual older brother) if it makes you uncomfortable, he would understand.

i feel like your personality traits would match together quite well? if you need to make an important decision (or a not so important one and something more trivial, but you still can't decide what to do), trey would love to help you! he would also help you calm down when you get too dramatic and he would stop you when your curiosity could potentially get you involved in something dangerous. he also would be the one to remind you when you forget about something.

trey also appreciates someone who would rather walk away or solve things out without fighting, because WOW THERE'S A LOT OF LOUD AND AGGRESSIVE BOYS IN HEARTSLABYUL. he would encourage you to try and get better at something you're interested in, if it doesn't work out at first, who's to say that it won't work out when you try again? but man, that "doesn't know how to say no to people" bit.. HE FEELS YOU

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland matchups #twst matchup

[cptsdstudyblr]

how i gradually fixed my relationship with food

TW: disordered eating, food, neglect, child abuse

Background:

I've always said that "I don't have an eating disorder, but I struggle with disordered eating." I don't know if that's medically accurate, but it feels like a good descriptor for my relationship with food. I grew up in an environment where I only ever had access to fast food, and I often went without food or didn't get nearly enough. I grew up in an environment where both of my parents exhibited severely disordered eating habits (and still do). I graduated from high school with no understanding of healthy eating habits or essentially no cooking skills. Now, I'm 21, and while my relationship with food is far from perfect, I am no longer underweight, I almost never restrict my food intake or binge, and I have a fairly balanced and tasty diet (while also allowing myself to enjoy eating what I want, even if it is junk food).

Step 1: Realize that your relationship with food is bad.

It took me a long time to acknowledge that the way I interacted with food as a child severely impacted my relationship with food. I had always assumed that once I was away from home, my eating habits would fix themselves. It took a lot for me to admit that I needed to really evaluate my relationship with food and put effort into fixing it.

It's hard to get to that point. For some people, they have a moment that makes it really clear for them. But for others, it's a gradual process. For me, it took literally moving to another continent and totally changing my diet to really get me fully to that point. Before that, I did acknowledge that my relationship with food had some issues, but I really didn't understand the extent of it.

Step 2: Figure out what needs to be fixed.

So now, you're aware that there is a problem with your relationship with food. But what do you actually need to fix about it? Are you eating too little? Too much? Too irregularly? An unbalanced diet? What's the problem (or problems) you're trying to solve?

This is a super personal thing to figure out. Personally, I regularly missed meals (often unintentionally), binged when I first bought food, and lived off of really repetitive foods that I really did not enjoy eating. I decided to approach my issues from what I saw as most severe to least severe: first, I needed to eat 3 full meals every day; then, I needed to stop binging; and lastly, I needed to implement a more balanced died.

Step 3: Eat every meal.

To help myself stop skipping meals, I first evaluated what caused me to skip meals. A lot of the time, it was the fact that food was not immediately or readily available to me. As a child, since I was fed almost exclusively fast food (and often just didn't eat), I struggled to actually prepare a meal and often didn't find the effort worthwhile. I especially struggled with this when I lived in a dorm and would literally have to walk 10+ minutes and wait in an unnecessarily long line for every meal.

To fix this, I made sure I always had very simple, readily available food in my house. Things like instant mac and cheese, instant ramen, premade tuna salad, sandwich makings, pasta, cereal, etc. I was so resistant to this approach at first as it felt unhealthy to me, but I had to remind myself consistently that no matter the circumstances it is more important to eat enough food than to eat the healthiest food out there. I was significantly underweight, and it was starting to really affect my life (especially by exacerbating my chronic illness symptoms), so I desperately needed to resolve this issue regardless of the perceived health of my meals.

To be honest, this process was the most difficult part of recovery for me. When combining my poor eating habits with my collapsing mental and physical health at the time, even microwaving mac and cheese was often too much for me to handle. And that's okay. Struggling is okay. It took me over a year just to get to the point where I could say that I consistently ate 3 full meals a day.

Step 4: Allow yourself to eat what you want when you want.

This is the approach I took to address my binging habits. It may sound counterintuitive, but it worked really well for me. Essentially, by explicitly not restricting my access to any foods (yes, even really unhealthy ones), I slowly broke down the fear that was causing me to binge on food.

For me, this fear stemmed from a lack of access to food as a child. When I first bought food, especially snacks, I felt the need to eat as much as I could on that day. And I made myself feel so bad about that. I told myself that I was a horrible person for eating so many Oreos I would make myself sick. And that's just not true. My eating habits don't reflect anything about me as a person.

Once I gave myself permission to eat as much as I wanted without feeling any shame, I started to binge less and less over the next few months. I started to get past the barriers and fear that I had about those foods and learn to eat them in moderation when I want them. I am an adult, I buy my own groceries, and I can make sure that I always have access to any food I want. So now, I rarely feel the need to binge because I am no longer as afraid and I no longer feel ashamed.

Step 5: Learn to cook and have a more balanced diet.

Once I got to a point where the amounts I ate in a day were more appropriate and keep me healthy, I was able to focus on what types of foods I eat. Now, I am by no means a health nut, but I do try to eat a relatively balanced diet and make foods I enjoy.

The first step I took towards this was to move away from instant or prepackaged foods. To this day, I always keep a stock of instant foods like ramen because I do still struggle sometimes, especially on bad mental or physical health days. I'm also sometimes busy and need something quick. However, I tried to move away from prepackaged foods to cooking relatively easy foods. I started making simple things like egg/tuna/chicken salad sandwiches, rice dishes, pastas and raviolis, premade dumplings, various types of eggs, sausage, etc.

While I ultimately wanted to move from instant foods to cooking my own meals, I felt the need to take it slow. I didn't feel ready to jump to cooking things from scratch, so I made sure to step up my difficulty levels slowly. Recently, I've started cooking about half of my meals from scratch, but I definitely didn't jump straight to that. And still, I usually make several servings at once and eat leftovers. I also still generally make simpler meals for most of my lunches and eat homemade foods for dinner most nights and for me, that is totally satisfactory. I'm able to make meals that fit my diet and tastes.

I also found that evaluating what foods I wanted to eat really helped me approach this. On the rare occasions when my parents did cook food, they usually cooked what amounted to a slab of poorly seasoned meat and a spoonful of cooked vegetables. It took me a long time (and moving to another continent) to fully realize that cooking for myself didn't mean just eating a chicken breast and green beans three times a week. After living in Seoul (which has a huge variety of restaurants from all over the world, not just Korean food) for six months and asking my roommates and friends to teach me their favorite recipes, I really started to understand what types of foods I like to eat. Now, I cook primarily Cajun foods and various Asian and Middle Eastern foods because that's the type of food I generally prefer to eat and cook. I'd really encourage everyone who is frustrated by cooking or eating to explore different cuisines and figure out what you like the best. Cooking and eating are both much more rewarding when you enjoy the food.

#tw ed #ed #ed recovery #mental health #mental illness #cptsd #ptsd #anxiety #depression #adhd #trauma #abuse #neglect

[magicalgirlagency]

WBMR for Ui, PLEASE!

LIKE, IROHA WAS DOING ALL HER JOURNEY ONLY TO UI TO DIE, WHAT THE HELL

And this is why, children, you all should disregard and disrespect canon. Because it doesn't even bother to respect itself!

FYI: This is about the anime canon; the game canon is a whole different (and much more pleasant) thing.

Tamaki Ui is now Astra Pilot Ui, Assigned Gemstone is Pink Opal, Essence is Darkness;

Her mascot/familiar is an aether swallow named Iroha (named after her older sister);

After the whole Magius issue, she discovers about the harsh reality of the world, and this makes her get jittery and anxious... so she goes on to exploring several hobbies;

She has developed an interest towards animals, specially birds. Ui feels at ease when she hears a bird chirping;

Another interest of hers is collecting precious stones, jewelry and other shiny things for her treasure music box;

Due to have spent most of her time at a hospital, Ui has developed the habit of writing her memories and experiences down in a journal, so she won't forget them;

Ui now knows the world is a mess, but she doesn't feel discouraged by it. Instead, she makes personal goal to become a person her sister would be proud of.

BONUS: I will do Touka and Nemu, since they've always been connected to eachother, inside and outside the Magius.

Satomi Touka is now Astra Maiden Touka, Assigned Gemstone is Smoky Quartz, Essence is Fire/Tech;

As a prodigious child, she still studies about the universe. Touka is fascinated about wondarian history and their magic system, and how it works;

Worried that she might feel pressured at such an early age, Touka is strongly advised to search for a hobby to partake in;

Touka's current hobby is cooking, feeling inspired by Iroha. However, this prompts her to be very particular about foods and their nutritional value, wanting to ensure that she and the others are eating well;

She grows protective of both Ui and Nemu. As they all explore this new world, Touka is always close to them to ensure that no harm comes to them;

Touka goes on learning to become way less condenscending, and to act more like an actual child. She also tries to balance her new life with her new found role of older sister.

And lastly, but not least important, Nemu (also, she was already a wheelchair user in the anime, so her death has some strong ableist implications...):

Hiiragi Nemu is now Astra Scholar Nemu, Assigned Gemstone is Padparadscha Sapphire, Essence is Earth (Life);

She studies about magic sigils and symbols, and draws them to bless her and the others with protection and strength;

Nemu develops an interest towards journals and cute stationery. She goes on starting a personal collection of hand-made grimoires, and is a tad bit of a perfectionist when working on her pages;

If Touka worries about the nutritional value of the meals that she prepares, then Nemu worries about the medications she and her sisters are taking;

Her main interests are now combining magic and medicine, wanting to make her life much easier while dealing with chronic illnesses;

Much like Touka, she's fascinated about Wondaria and its benign magic system. Like the others, she feels liberated after spending a long time fighting for their survival, now wanting to exercise their own empathy and growing up like kids should.

#wondarian bureau of multiversal rescue

[blackjack-15]

No, the Creature’s name is Fraulein’s Monster — Thoughts on: The Captive Curse (CAP)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN, HAU, RAN, WAC, TOT, SAW

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraphs above, along with my list of previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: CAP, mentions of SAW, mentions of ASH.

The Intro:

The obvious Frankenstein reference in the title of this meta is the only one I make in the whole meta, I swear. It was a mistake to make the monster look like Frankenstein’s Monster, but I’m not gonna drag you guys or the meta down with that.

We’re professionals here.

This is a game with rather big shoes to fill, to be honest — it’s our first game in Germany, comes right after a very well-received “haunting” game and has shades of being a “haunting” game itself, its (small bit of) marketing played off Grimm’s Tales, and Savannah’s comment about staying in a castle where she discovered that the real monster was human cruelty is directly pointing towards it. CAP and its story could have crumpled under the weight of high expectations like MED, MID, and (in a slightly more controversial opinion) SEA did, but instead it did the opposite: in nearly every way, it improved on the Faerietale Formula that SAW inspired, and added to it.

Rather than a spooky haunted faerietale with a Hidden Villain, we have instead a monster — out in the open, even — as our main villain. The difference between ghosts and monsters isn’t really important in, say, a “Scary Stories to Tell In The Dark” or “Goosebumps” book, but it’s fairly important in a mystery, and even more in a Nancy Drew mystery.

As I’ve said a few dozen times in this series — and if you’re not tired of it yet, you will be soon — ghosts are a Reality in the Nancy Drew universe; they exist, they cause trouble, and they sometimes even help the living (or at least coexist with the living).

Monsters, on the other hand, never really exist — not banshees, not werewolves, not malicious wolves with opposable thumbs and the ability to cook poisoned foods, and certainly not monsters that in no way resemble the main villain from a Universal classic horror flick. Monster in the Nancy Drew universe is a Title, not a type of creature. Whenever there’s a monster on the loose, it’s a sure sign that there’s a bitter individual somewhere looking to hurt someone — usually for a personal grudge.

Which, as it happens, is exactly what happened here.

We’re still firmly in a Faerietale game — the ‘Nancy’ games start with ASH — but I do think it’s important to note here that the girls in this game (the victims of the monster, Renate, Anja) are all shadows of Nancy. The previous victims, sharing the designation of the Girl in the Dress with Nancy, are shadows of what could happen to Nancy if she doesn’t change the fate that’s been designated for her — down to the red hair of the original Girl.

Renate is a type of detective, trying to solve the mystery of the tragedies that strike the castle through the actions of the past. And Anja — well, let’s just say that Anja and Nancy have a lot more between then than the first glance might show.

The two women are foiled, especially with their love lives. Nancy’s dating a good man — despite the obvious, glaring problems in the relationship — and so their argument (and her own selfish behavior) isn’t the end of the world, nor the end of the relationship. They stop, they assess, and — with a little help from Anja — Nancy’s determined to try a little harder, leading us straight into ASH. The big thesis statement of the game is delivered, like last game, by our villain — “There’s nothing like love to bring order to a scattered world”. Anja gives Nancy good advice: communicate, and work for what you want.

Anja, however, was not dating a good man; she encouraged him, much like Ned does with Nancy, to be better, to try harder, to really reach for what he could be — only to be cast aside as soon as all the hard work that she had put in to supporting him led to good results. Her world was not scattered before — but after Markus, there was nothing that could put it back together again.

There’s nothing like love, indeed, but when it’s the wrong kind of person…well, the message that Anja took out of it was that somebody, somewhere, should care about her. And if they weren’t going to…well, a tragedy necessitates the force of Fate, and we know what Renate says about fate:

“Fate has a habit of digging in its claws when tempted.”

The last thing I want to touch on in this introduction — which I realize is a bit heavy on themes, but so is the game — is the importance of Titles within this game. The Bürgermeister, The Castellan, The Monster, The Girl in the Dress — this game operates a lot on character tropes, like any self-respecting faerietale, and the titles go a long way to showing who each character is. Karl feels dwarfed and inadequate next to his title; Anja wanted hers so badly that she was willing to lie; the title of Monster strikes fear into the heart of the vast majority of our cast.

And the Girl? The Girl in the Dress is a symbol of helpless fate, a sacrifice to propel the narrative forward. Remember what Renate tells Nancy? “The monster, he is here for you.”

Tellingly, it’s Nancy’s changing of what exactly it means to be The Girl in the Dress that allows our faerietale to meet with a happy ending, rather than a tragedy (the ending normally brought about by Fate, in Renate’s words). In keeping the title but changing the scope of the title, Nancy figuratively beats the Monster, and saves the memory all the Girls that came before.

The Title:

The Captive Curse is, as far as titles go, a masterclass. Nearly all the titles of the 20+ numbers are fabulous, but CAP’s title is a shining star even among them. Let’s talk about the important word in the title — “Captive”.

There are a lot of things that are “captive” in this game. We have the captives of the monster, to start off with, but there’s a lot more where that came from. The residents of the Castle and the castle’s town are also captive — they’re held captive by fear, as evidenced by the doors that refuse to open even when Nancy begs them to.

Shrugging off the idea of keeping this meta even a little bit spoiler-free, I’d also add that Markus is a sort of captive of Anja — there under false pretenses, drawing a web around him to finish him off — and equally that Anja is a captive of Markus’ — the shadow of her dick ex-boyfriend hanging over her dream job, watching him profit off of being a truly terrible person.

Renate and Nancy get in on the action, too. Renate is a captive of guilt, returning to the castle to try to prevent further deaths, haunted by her sister’s early death. She’s also a storyteller — a profession famed for having a “captive audience”. Lastly, Nancy is forced into the costume rather than her own clothes — a captive of the tale that’s being spun by our major players.

The Faerietale

In SAW’s faerietale, Nancy was the visiting prince, the Knight in Shining Armor to look after and save the kingdom. In CAP’s faerietale, however, her role gets changed around — not the least of which because we discover what an actual Knight in Shining Armor really is, courtesy of Renate:

“A knight in shining armor never did nothing for nobody. He never fought. A knight in dented, scraped armor - now that’s what you want.”

This isn’t the cynical take that some might spin it into — the Nancy Drew universe is not and has never been a Nolan-style grimdark-fest, skeptical of any good deed or honest inclination — but instead a declaration that it’s what people do that makes them heroes, that makes them good, that makes them who they are, not what they are (or what they seem to be).

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that, in a game exploring what good a Knight in Shining Armor might be, that the series’ resident Knight appears within the context of his fight with Nancy.

Ned in the video games series is the closest to a Knight that we really get; he doesn’t make mistakes, he’s always patient and kind and understanding, and helps out the best he can without being actually on the scene. In other words, his armor has no dents, nor scrapes, not so much by his choice (excepting possibly CRY), but by Nancy’s. By constantly leaving him behind, she’s cast in him his role as Knight in Shining Armor — but, as Renate points out, that’s not necessarily a good thing. Ned has the potential to be and do more — as ASH will show us.

And yes, there’s someone in the series that fits the knight in dented, scraped armor, but this is not the time for a Francy meta. If ever there is a time for Francy meta.

The biggest thing that changes from SAW to CAP is that Nancy’s learned from last time, and starts trying to figure out the faerietale she’s in the minute it starts in earnest. When she hears Renate’s tale, she’s sure she’s figured it out — guessing it was about Renate’s sister — but we’re shown that her perception is a little off (as the girl was Renate, not her sister). This shifting up of the roles is crucial thematically to our ending, where Nancy gleefully assumes the role of the Girl in the Dress as the hero of the piece, rather than the victim that the Girl had always been.

What Nancy happens upon here I’ll cheerfully call the Power of the Storyteller. All faerietales shift and change depending on who’s telling the story — look at the thousands of versions of Cinderella had all over the world, all too old to just be a knockoff of their geographical neighbor’s story or (yes, I’ve heard this) based off the Disney property.

With Anja telling the story for the majority of the game, it’s a tale about how sometimes the “monster” (and her version of a monster, specifically) wins — and how sometimes they deserve to win, to perpetuate the faerietale as it always has been; as Renate reminds us, “when death goes to take a ride, he follows the road that serves him best.” In Anja’s mind, there must always be a Monster, and there must always be a Girl in the Dress. With Nancy taking over the story, however, it’s about how the victim doesn’t have to be the victim, and that they have the power to assume their own destiny.

In other words, they’re playing out the central conflict that Renate outlines in her first discussion with Nancy: “If our time together is a comedy, then I was brought here by coincidence. If our time is a tragedy, then it must be fate.”

Coincidence and fate are also, coincidentally (heh) the driving forces in a faerietale — except that fate is also a driving force for romance. And because romance is our Chief Concern in CAP’s story, a lot of the story is about fighting against fate. In the end, it’s a coincidence that Nancy arrives, but Anja tries to spin it into fate by making her the Girl in the Dress. It’s only when Nancy takes charge, not letting fate have its say, that she arrives at the ending and is able to best Anja.

One of the great questions that this faerietale presents is about the Monster is whether or not it ever existed. In a Faerietale, the Monster nearly always exists in some form or another, needing to be drawn out and killed by our hero(es) before the day can be saved.

Indeed, in Anja’s modern-day retelling of the faerietale, the monster doesn’t exist — at least, not in its Monstrous form. In her story, Markus is the monster, and she must put on the guise of a monster in order to defeat him — in other words, if a monster is going to win, it’s going to be her.

To quote Ned’s astute observation, “[Castle Finster] has too many monsters.”

But it’s Savannah’s words that we should look to, as she’s a Storyteller just as much as Renate is. Savannah, heavily implied to be speaking of Castle Finster, says that the monster she found wasn’t a ghost — it was human cruelty that made the castle and its history so terrifying.

So we’re faced with the question: did the monster ever exist, or was it solely bad people, stealing cattle and sheep and young girls away for their own wicked purposes? Was there truly an amorphous being roaming the countryside, or was it just a clever way to shift blame from those who would do evil unto others? Remember what Renate tells us about monsters:

“The worst monsters are self-made. They are people like you and me, but they have taken a terrible turn. They let everything awful, everything sad, take up all the breathing room in their hearts, until all they know is revenge.”

The answer I would give is that, for this faerietale, it doesn’t matter if the Monster is real or not. The concern is not the nature of the monster, it’s the people’s reaction to the idea of a monster, real or imagined, that sets off our faerietale and provides the stakes. The fear is real and palpable, and the ends of our villain, while understandable and perhaps even praiseworthy, require some downright dastardly means.

The Mystery:

We open first on a look back at a young girl in an Era Past being captured by an unseen monster in the woods near a castle…only to have Nancy drive up on the Castle Finster itself in the modern day. Nancy’s been called in by the owner of the castle, Markus, who wants any troubles with the legendary monster cleaned up before he and his Rich Investor Friends arrive.

Rather than a welcoming piece of history, Nancy is greeted with a scared, unwelcoming town, the fear of the monster looming large and cutting deep — and that’s before the Curse itself turns its eyes on Nancy, forcing her to play along as the Girl in the Red Dress, the favored victim of the monster. Those in the castle are kinder than those outside of it, but there’s still the sneaking suspicion that someone is up to no good, using the guise of the monster to wreak a little havoc of their own invention — and time is running out before the monster claims yet another victim…

As far as the mystery goes…I don’t like to use words like “spectacular” because let’s face it, every game has its holes, but honestly CAP’s mystery is pretty spectacular. Attention-catching, a bit sad, a bit horrific, and loaded with faerietale tropes, subversions, and themes — there’s honestly just not much wrong here, especially given the limitations of, well, making a Nancy Drew game in the first place. The writing does a masterful job at hinting at horrors that, given the rating, they can’t say out loud, while still telling a fully cohesive story that even the young players will be able to grab at and understand (if not to quite the same extent)

The Suspects:

The game begins with Lukas Mittelmeier, so perhaps we should too. Lukas is the rather precocious son of the head of security of Castle Finster, as well as being Anja’s nephew. Bright, mischievous, and a huge fan of games and pranks, Lukas makes the castle a little more interesting — as well as making Karl’s life a bit more hellish.

Unlike another youth living in a castle (coughJanecough), Lukas is bright enough to be a competent culprit…he just isn’t malicious enough. Sure, he’ll play dress-up, spook Karl a bit, and stall Nancy outside the gates of the castle, but that’s really as far as he goes. He would have been an especially poor culprit, thematically speaking, and so it’s a good thing that the game never really attempts to lead you there. Even his dressing up as the monster is more meant to lull the player (and Nancy) into letting down their guard so that the real monster is a bit scarier.

Next up is the Bürgermeister and bad-luck-magnet himself, Karl Weschler. Having encountered his doppelganger as a small child, Karl has expected — and received — bad luck for the rest of his life, and lives in fear of being the cause of unhappiness to those around him. He’s also a board game enthusiast, having developed the (incredibly fun, it should be noted) board game Raid! and enlists Nancy to help him polish it while she solves the “huge monster problem” that Markus hired her for.

As a culprit, Karl would have been interesting, but thematically a little off. It would have had to be a situation where enough bad things happened around him at the castle to make him want to shift the blame, dressing up as the monster in order to throw the punishment off of himself and onto a nebulous force. An interesting plot to be sure, but not one that fits the more sinister nature of the game.

Our charming castellan and cunning culprit, Anja Mittelmeier is next on the docket. Incredibly good at her job, polished, polite, and fiendishly dedicated, Anja keeps the castle in good running order, gives Nancy advice, and is a doting aunt — all while secretly sabotaging Markus by acting as the monster.

I have a lot to say about how good a character Anja is — which I’ll cover more in the next section — but she’s also the perfect villain. All the information you need to figure out who she is happens to be presented to Nancy pretty quickly, but none of it is in the proper context to make it obvious.  Even her line — “there’s nothing like love to bring order to a scattered world” — is sweet and romantic at the time, and rather chilling and menacing when you have the whole context of exactly what Anja is doing to ‘bring order to a scattered world’.

It seems only fitting that after Anja should come Markus Boehm, the owner of the castle and the ex-boyfriend that Anja is working for revenge against. Markus is snappish, short-tempered, obnoxious about his money, and rather boorish — though he has some of the funniest lines in any Nancy Drew game — and is guilty of a lot, though not of haunting his own castle.

Casting Markus as the villain would have made this game an entirely different faerietale, one that would have necessitated Anja becoming The Girl in the Dress rather than Nancy. It might have been a more stereotypical Nancy Drew story, but it also would have been weaker – after all, a lot of the horror in this faerietale comes from the curse having its eyes firmly on Nancy, rather than on her watching it unfold.

Finally, our most divisive character is probably Renate Stoller, a cake-loving storyteller bound to Castle Finster by a mixture of fate and history. Personally speaking, I’m a total fan of Renate; she has a lot of freedom to liken the situation to stories and to spell out the fact that all stories are ambiguous without being morally relativist or faux-deep.

As a villain, Renate would have been interesting — set to haunt the castle that has haunted her for so long and caused her pain — but it would have removed the Storyteller archetype from the game, causing the player (and Nancy) to doubt everything she’s said, which would have been a shame.

The Favorite:

There’s a lot to love in CAP, both big and small, so I’ll try to tackle this section with some sort of organization, rather than just gushing from point to random point.

My favorite moment in the game is (in a stunning change from 90% of Nancy Drew Games) tied between the beginning and the final confrontation. The old-time film style beginning (a great example of a “cold open” of a type of horror totally distinct from SAW’s brand of horror) through Nancy’s first discussion with Karl is tightly paced and incredibly well done, introducing our main problems, a few characters, and how Nancy is stepping into this faerietale that’s been all but prepared for her. Special shout out to Karl’s “huge monster problem” dialogue, and Lukas’ getting caught at the castle’s gates — just some really great, distinct character writing that we normally don’t get this soon into a game.

The confrontation, which is normally somewhat cheesy, sometimes awful, and nearly always ill-supported (HAU being the best/worst example of this) in a Nancy Drew game, here instead shows off Nancy’s quick thinking and almost triumphant, smug nature when she figures it all out and traps the villain. The games coming up, as I’ve mentioned above, I refer to as “the Nancy games”, as they give us a lot of insight into who Nancy Drew actually is, aside from an amateur/burgeoning professional detective, but SAW and (to a larger extent) CAP really start giving us peeks at Nancy’s character — not as an infallible main character, but as a girl with an actual personality.

My favorite puzzle in the game — and I realize that it barely counts — is quite honestly Raid. Normally, the games that HER comes up with as minigames within their games are lackluster at best and criminally annoying at worst, but Raid (along with the games in ASH which are particularly enjoyable) is fabulous; it gives us more of that faerietale vibe that the game runs on, brings in Germany’s well-deserved reputation of being the King of Board Games, and actually contains a few moments of good characterization for Karl as well.

And I’m a sucker for getting to create your own card for the game. That’s just stupid cool.

One of the things that CAP does particularly well is its characters, so let’s talk a bit about them here.

Renate, a common favorite, mostly lives up to her hype, due to her storyteller’s dialogue, status as a Sage (slightly different from the usual Sage in a Nancy Drew game, due to her backstory), and intense relatability with falling asleep after eating cake.

Lukas is one of the few child characters in the ND games that actually feels like a child, so he gets points there automatically, even without noting how charming he is. Having Nancy talk to him under the table is also gold, even with the sense that she’s just humoring him, and having him dress up as a monster in a fake out that fools nobody (and even better, is not meant from a writing standpoint to fool anyone) feels perfectly in character for a relatively unsupervised rapscallion like Lukas.

Last on the favorite character list is Anja, a character done To Perfection. It breaks my heart sometimes that she’s the villain, but her character also wouldn’t be complete without being the villain — nor would I love her so much. Anja is patient, loving, a great aunt, friendly, gregarious — and a villain. Her line when she’s talking to Nancy about how she was honest and worked hard every day, and no one cared hits me every time. Anja’s a perfect example of a character who is intensely sympathetic and quite relatable without ever having the thought that her scheme involving Nancy was even a little bit okay. She’s a villain that I’d love to have come back, whether as a villain again or as a begrudging helper.

Finally, let’s get down to the miscellany.

The dialogue in CAP is pitch-perfect, from the distinct way of talking that each suspect has, to Markus’ insults, to the one-off phone call with the pamphlet company. The game in part is so fun because the dialogue is so fun, walking the line between faerietale-style narration (Anja, Renate) and almost Buffy-speak modernity (Karl, Lukas, Markus).

The last thing I want to touch on it — yes, you knew it was coming — the fight between Ned and Nancy. Yes, I’m a Francy shipper, and I do love that Frank is the one Nancy turns to for help with the fight, but that’s not what this part is about.

First off, I love that problems that would /necessarily/ come up in a relationship like Ned and Nancy’s are brought up here; Nancy’s constant jet-setting, while a common side effect of the job she does, is also something that would cause tension — especially considering that Nancy doesn’t really tell him when she sets off for another state/country at a moment’s notice.

A thing that has become Increasingly obvious over the entire series is that Nancy is, let’s face it, not gonna win any awards for Girlfriend of the Year, and in fact might win the opposite award. Ned is constantly giving her attention, validation, helping out when she calls him, and is understanding when she cancels; for her to not give the same amount of care to him (in different ways, as everyone needs different things, of course) becomes more and more glaring as time goes on.

My firm stance on being a bit anti-Nedcy comes from the belief that Ned deserves to get as much out of a relationship as he puts in, and Nancy, as the person she is and even as the best person that she can be, just can’t provide that. Their needs as people are just too different for a relationship to be fair for either person – and, as this game demonstrates, though Ned has the shorter end of the stick, it’s not fair for either one of them.

The Un-Favorite:

There’s not a lot that goes into this section, to be perfectly honest.

The forest is probably my least favorite section of the game — the part that I consider before starting a new game over — but besides tweaking it slightly to help navigation not be quite so frustrating (see below), even the forest is a pretty good puzzle.

The bag puzzle — especially if you, like me, forget every time that you can rotate the objects in Renate’s purse — is the only other annoyance in the game, and ranks as my least favorite puzzle over the forest simply for the fact that you can use a walkthrough to navigate the forest, while you can’t use a walkthrough to do the bag puzzle for you.

Other than that, CAP is just a wholly solid game — no least favorite dialogue, no awkward moment, no point where I turn down my brightness to make it seem like This Isn’t Happening.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Captive Curse?

Honestly, the first and only change I would make is to fix the forest just slightly. I get that it’s a puzzle, but it’s not quite visually distinct enough to make it feasible for a lot of players to learn how to navigate. To fix this, I wouldn’t take out the forest, I would just make each piece of it a little more visually distinct, with more markers so that players couldn’t lose their place as easily.

There’s nothing other than that worth fixing. Even my dislike of the bag puzzle isn’t strong enough to suggest scrapping it, and it’s a type of puzzle that many people like and are quite good at — not to mention the fact that it’s not at all gamebreaking in its difficulty.

The Captive Curse is often sort of a “top middle” or just “middle” ranking for a lot of players due to the fact that it’s not quite as showy as a lot of “favorite” games, and thus can get lost in the fandom shuffle. But looking at it as both pieces and as a whole proves that this game is one of the most solid in the series sporting a great mystery, fantastic characters, and more than a little faerietale wisdom to carry to the next story.

#nancy drew #nancy drew games #clue crew #CAP #the captive curse #nancy drew meta #my meta #video games #long post

[meetmeatthecoda]

I absolutely ♥️ADORE♥️ Scripted and would love to read your director’s commentary for it!

Oh, anon!! 😍 I'm SO THRILLED that you loved Scripted so much, that makes me so happy!! 🥰 Especially that you loved it enough to want to read my "director's commentary" (that phrase makes me laugh, you'd think I created a feature length film all by myself 🤣), so I think I'll skim through the fic - it's been a while since I re-read it - & make a bullet-point list of any special BTS info I can think of 😊 Anddd I'll also put it under a read more cause you know me, I never use one word when one hundred will do 😂

So, the fic itself was inspired by the ending of 5.08 where Liz wakes from her coma to Red reading to her in an armchair as he had been for the past 10 months, it's fine, I'm fine but she still has a ventilator in so she can't talk & instead has to write "how long?" on a piece of paper & her handwriting is super shake-y bc her muscles are so weak (I think Red even helps her hold the pen? It's clearly been a while since I re-watched the ep whoops but ugh, be still my heart.) For some reason, I just latched onto the idea of a mute Liz, really suffering with the implications of everything she went through (since her recovery was so glossed over in the show boo) & Red 1000% being there for her. Mostly, I just wanted to dive into the dynamic of Liz letting Red care for her the way he's always wanted to (without Tom & Agnes btw) to the point where their relationship is unhealthy in its reliance, but neither can see it bc Liz is blocking things out (& unknowingly falling in love with him) & Red is just so thrilled to be able to love & care for her (while already deeply in love with her obvi). So yeah, that was the kind of dynamic & closeness I wanted to explore between them & it was... really fun 😊

The idea of the coma providing the perspective Liz needed to see that Red has always had her best interests at heart & clearly loves her (in addition to the fact that he never left her side or gave up during those 10 months lol peak romance tbh) seemed very organic & logical to me.

I liked the idea of Red & Liz playing board games as a way to pass the time & get to know each other better. It's the kind of casual interaction we were never gifted with in the show & I think they're both competitive in the right circumstances, even if its playfully so.

I liked the idea of Liz being urged to learn ASL, as I'm deaf in one ear & would dearly love to learn it at some point.

The detail of Red sleeping on a cot close enough to Liz's hospital bed that they can hold hands in their sleep was a total guilty pleasure addition & I'm not sorry.

I loved the scene in the beginning where Red is talking to Dembe on the phone in the hallway & Liz is practicing her letters. She's purely doing it so Red doesn't worry & I loved the idea of her being apathetic to everything except Red's concerns, plus I added in the parenthetical of (Red sometimes squints at her k's.) bc I thought it represented that well, but also bc it was just cute af. I also added the little detail of him waving at her through the window at the last minute bc I thought the scene needed something else & once I pictured that, it was too adorable to leave out.

Red handling all the details of Liz's care & transportation without asking (bc he instinctively knew that's what Liz wanted) only to turn around & panic about excluding her seemed like a very RED thing to do & I like how it emphasizes his well-meaning intentions, respect for her preferences, & desire to see her happy, even if she did actually want to leave him lol as if.

I liked the visual of Liz stumbling into Red's arms as she stands from her hospital bed to leave with him (sets a precedent for later) & I also loved the visual of a pen in her ponytail & of course Red using it to flirt a little bc come on.

I remember struggling to write the car ride transition to the lake house. I usually get ideas & visions for specific scenes, moments, or bits of dialogue, so those kind of transition moments are hard for me sometimes. But I liked that I settled on Red helping to ground Liz through touch (again, sets a precedent for later).

Red & Liz playing hangman in the car with Red using the word "fedora" & drawing a suited hangman made me giggle.

I can see the lake house very clearly in my mind, complete with the willow tree, bench, & tiny house (included bc I desperately want a tiny house in real life) & I really enjoyed describing the interior & imagining the joy Red would get out of decorating it with Liz in mind.

Their first night in the house where Liz has her nightmare & Red comforts her - that was a scene I had in mind very early on & I love how it turned out, especially with Liz mouthing "stay with me" into Red's neck, that part gave me All The Feels™.

The "morning after" scene where Liz realizes on some level that she's too dependent on Red is an important moment in the fic & the off-hand detail that at least "she's not going around murdering people & calling it therapy" was a bit of shade to Ruin (which I don't think I ever saw bc I was kind of appalled with the idea lol) I think I posted Scripted after Ruin aired... if not, I guess I'm psychic?? LOL

The breakfast scene - & the fact that Red is preparing every breakfast food known to man bc he's nervous too - is near & dear to my heart. I think that's a pretty pivotal scene since they kind of reach an unspoken agreement & peace &... "things settle after that first breakfast."

I liked the teeny little parenthetical section that comes next as well, which acts as a sort of middle point for the fic.

The next large chunk of the fic was pure indulgence for me. I LOVED writing about all the different things they would do together when it was just the two of them, it was basically a collection of Lizzington headcanons & that's how I sketched them out LOL Here's some notes on them:

I came up with the jigsaw puzzle headcanon (that Liz is bored by them bc they're easy for her bc she's a trained psychologist & easily sees patterns in things) late in the editing process but loved it so much that I included it.

Liz's sandwich preference is actually mine LOL

The Monopoly banter was fun af to write bc I love that game.

The love notes Liz leaves around the house for Red is still an all-time favorite headcanon of mine.

I loved the idea of Red reading to Liz in a foreign language, holding the book only for looks, but not actually reading from it at all & instead professing his love for her. I think I've even used that headcanon in another fic LOL

Their movie nights were also something I was dying to include, especially since they include snacks & cuddles.

Their co-sleeping habits were also something I wanted to include & Liz's newly tactile nature is both a symptom of her dependence on Red & also a guilty pleasure thing for me bc we all wanted more of Red & Liz touching on screen, plus I felt obligated to explain through Red that it wasn't sexual in nature (though if I ever get around to writing part 2, that will change 😉)

Dembe being the one to observe & interfere in their situation was an early scene I imagined as well, that was always going to be the climax of the fic (or at least part 1). I so enjoyed writing about Red & Liz's relationship through his eyes bc he just loves them both & only wants to help them.

Another pivotal scene I imagined early on was Liz having a panic attack with Dembe when she discovers Red has left & that was super engaging to write, as well as the reunion between them which... I pretty much wrote the whole fic with the goal of getting to that lovely angst LOL

Red's resolve to finally urge Liz to speak was heart-breaking to write (so naturally I loved it lol what's wrong with me) & in particular the detail of them eating fruit for lunch before he broaches the topic with her & the parenthetical about it being "a sign from the cosmos that they are meant to be together just because they don't eat each other's favorite fruit" made my heart happy even tho it's stupid LOL & when Red asks her if she would ever try to speak again & she responds with a simple written "Why?" that was a huge moment that I loved the angst of, of course. As well as the absolutely gutting: "Lizzie, I miss your voice."

I liked that Liz needs some time to think & accept everything Red forces her to realize at the end, that was super important to me in the resolution of the fic/part 1 & I tried really hard to include both their mentalities there at the end.

The fact that Red hasn't had a drink since he started caring for Liz also made my shipping heart happy.

And - lastly - the fact that the only thing Liz actually says in the whole fic is Red's name? Yeah 🥲🥲🥲

Welp, there you go, anon, I'm not sure if that was interesting to you at all, but I certainly hope so!! I know that was a lot but... it's a long fic, my longest ever, so I figure it's warranted, right?? 😂 Anyway, thank you so much, both for the compliment of loving Scripted AND for wanting to read more about it, anon, you are so sweet!! 🥰 I hope you enjoyed this & much, much love to you, my friend!! ❤️

Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #fanfic #Scripted #ask game #fanfic writers: director's cut #mine #ask #anon #thank you so much for this my friend!! #:D #i hope you enjoyed this #:) #much much love to you!! #<3

[the-boyo1]

Boosting Teenage Health with BoYo Vitamin & Mineral Rich Sprouting Seed Mix

Being a teenager is hard. From school to extracurricular, from tuition classes to hanging out with your friends, teenagers lead hectic lives. There are exams to worry about, homework to finish, school work to catch up on, and school societies and clubs to participate in.  

Add to this the stress of deciding on a career and the constant helicoptering of teachers and parents alike. It isn’t tough to understand why teenagers constantly try to avoid whichever adult they come into contact with.  

The teenage years are a key time in life when good eating and health habits are very important. Providing teenagers with the proper nutritional balance becomes crucial as they go through growth spurts, hormonal changes, and increasing physical activity. Including BoYo Vitamin & Mineral Rich Sprouting Seed Mix in your teen's diet is a powerful method to improve their health.  

The importance of teen health will be discussed in this article, along with the dietary requirements at this stage, the advantages of BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix, tips for promoting teen health, suggestions for wholesome snacks, and a list of commonly asked questions. 

The Significance of Balanced Nutrition for Teenagers 

Besides the external stress of being a teenager, the internal changes that they go through are also massive.  

Puberty is a complex and lengthy process. Voice breaks, growth spurts, hormonal changes, and physical developments are all a part of one of the most life-altering processes a person has to go through.  

Naturally, if it is so hard to view on the outside, the inside must be equally hard for the kids.  

Adolescence is the time when teenagers are most drawn to independence, and this is something that should extend to their food as well.  

Complex carbohydrates are also crucial to teenage diets because they provide sustained energy and even fiber and other nutrients.  

Besides this, dietary fat should make up about 30% of the total diet.  

Fats supply energy and are essential to helping the body absorb vitamins that are soluble in fat, namely Vitamins A, D, E and K. 

 The diet should be heavy in mono- and polyunsaturated fat.  

Lastly, teenagers are most likely to fall short on their daily calcium, iron, zinc and Vitamin D intake.  

Maintaining a balanced diet for a teenager shouldn’t be too hard.  

Still, with their constricting schedules, it can be hard to ensure eating three meals a day.  

So how do we erase all the fatigue and stress from any vitamin deficiencies and boost overall strength?  Let's figure out in the article below.

Nutritional Needs During Teenage Years 

First and foremost, teenage bodies require more calories: appetite surges are even considered signs of the incoming puberty cycles a teenager is about to go through.  

The appetite surges indicate the body’s growing needs – the growth process requires more nutrients and vitamins, and eating more is a natural reaction to this need. 

Teenagers must consume a balanced diet rich in proteins, carbohydrates, and fats to keep themselves healthy.  

Proteins are the building blocks of the body.  

They build, maintain and repair muscles, fortify bones, and also keep various other bodily processes running. 

Importance Of Such Nutrients 

Teenagers need special nutrition because of their fast growth and development. The following essential nutrients are crucial at this phase: 

Protein: Vital for constructing and mending tissues, promoting the growth of muscles, and supplying energy. 

Calcium: Essential for the growth of healthy bones and teeth.

Iron: Crucial for red blood cell production and preventing iron-deficiency anemia. 

Vitamin D: Vital for bone health and calcium absorption.

Omega-3 fatty acids: Promote cognitive function and brain growth. 

Vitamin B12: Essential for the synthesis of red blood cells and neurological function. 

Zinc: Aids: For wound healing and immunological support. 

BoYo Vitamin & Mineral Rich Sprouting Seed Mix 

The BOYO Vitamin & Mineral Rich Sprouting Seed Mix is your solution to this question!  

It is the overall health booster you need if you’re a teenager going through a growth spurt. 

This 7-ingredient seed mixture, high in amino acids and enriched with proteins and vitamins, is 100% vegan and Gluten-free.  

Consisting of Chickpeas, Adzuki, and Soybeans, the mix is rich in vitamins A, B, C, and E, and is great for speeding up the healing process and strengthening bones and gums.  

You can also visit:- BoYo Shop to check our product range. 

Nutritional Benefits of Each Ingredient in the Seed Mix 

The mix consists of Mung beans, Chickpeas, Adzuki, Soybeans, Alfalfa, Black lentils, and Moth.  

Foods like Chickpeas and Mung are excellent for their contribution of fiber and protein.  

They make digestion easier by adding bulk to stool and promoting a healthy gut. 

Alfalfa and Adzuki are enriched with Vitamins A, B, C, E, and K.  

They also include essential minerals like manganese and magnesium, essential in running the body’s processes.  

Black lentils and Moths are rich in minerals like copper, and zinc, and also in protein.  

Health Benefits of Consuming The BOYO Sprouting Seed Mix 

So, what does all of this mean for the body?  

Well, the mix promotes kidney health, heart health, and improved digestion.  

This is because of its high protein, amino acid, and calcium content.  

The various amino acids, proteins, phosphorus, and chlorophyll also help reduce inflammation and the risk of chronic illnesses that can be caused due to inadequate diets. 

The proteins present in the mix help in muscle building, and it is also excellent for preventing neural tube disorders.  

The mix also helps lower blood pressure, ease headaches, and strengthen bones and teeth.  

The Impact on Teenager's Lives After Using It 

All in all, it is the perfect solution for a teenager’s dietary needs.  

Eating the sprout mix is likely to take care of whatever nutrition the body lacks and help the kids take one thing off their backs. 

They can redirect the energy gained into their daily lives and focus on giving their best at school, during extra-curricular activities, or when hanging out with their friends. 

 So, go about your fun, albeit stressful, days with a healthy glint in your eyes and nutritiously full tummies! 

Other Strategies for Boosting Teenage Health 

Aside from introducing BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix into the diet, there are other options for improving adolescent health: 

Regular Workout 

Exercise frequently, whether it is through sports, running, cycling, or dancing.  

Regular exercise improves cardiovascular health, strengthens muscles and bones, elevates mood and mental well-being, and helps maintain a healthy weight. 

Get enough sleep 

Teenagers' health depends on getting enough sleep.  

Encourage them to create a regular sleep routine and to strive for 8 to 10 hours of good sleep each night.  

Sleeping enough promotes healthy immune system, and emotional functioning. 

Stress Reduction 

Teach them practical stress-reduction strategies like deep breathing, yoga, meditation, or participating in activities they find enjoyable.  

It's critical to establish good coping methods since prolonged stress can have a severe influence on both physical and mental health. 

Hydration 

Water consumption is crucial for general wellness.  

Encourage youngsters to carry a reusable bottle of water and to sip on water all day long.  

Staying hydrated promotes good skin, maintains body temperature, assists in digestion, and removes toxins from the body. 

Ideas for Healthy Snacks for Teens 

Teenagers frequently engage in the activity of snacking. 

 Here are some nutritious snack suggestions to go along with including BoYo Sprouting Seed Mix in their diet. 

Conclusion 

Improving teen health is essential for their development, growth, and general well-being. A quick and nutrient-rich answer is to include BoYo Vitamin & Mineral Rich Sprouting Seed Mix in their diet.

Additionally, promoting regular exercise, getting enough sleep, managing stress, and being hydrated all contribute to a teen's health at its best. Teenagers may support their physical, mental, and emotional health at this crucial stage of life by implementing these measures and selecting nutritious snacks. 

#Sprouting Seed Mix #boyo Sprouting Seed Mix

[purple-saladleaves]

OC Interview

Draw (or use an old drawing, don't worry) or take a screen of your character in an interview setting and make them answer the following questions!

(please forgive the terrible quality; I play on a laptop so this is the best my graphics can get, and I have no skill whatsoever at taking good screens)

INTRODUCTION

Can you introduce yourself?

Commander Efalynn of the Pact, leader of Dragon's Watch and Champion of Aurene. Good to meet you.

What is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?

Gender is rather more aesthetic for the sylvari than the other races of Tyria, but for all intents and purposes I am female, and I use she/her pronouns. As to orientation... I believe in your people's terms I would be considered an asexual greyromantic lesbian? And yes, I am in a relationship.

Where and when were you born?

In the Grove, of course, in 1325 AE. I was the last sylvari to awaken that year in the Season of the Scion actually, as my sister technically awakened in the first few minutes of the Season of the Colossus. But we're both Nightblooms, and we still call ourselves twins, so it doesn't matter all that much. [awkward laugh]

What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?

As a Knight of the Thorn, I am honoured to wield Caladbolg, which takes the form of a greatsword for me. I suppose my fighting style with it would be called "efficient" above all else. I do have a few unexpected tricks up my sleeve though, especially when I use my dagger and scepter.

Lastly, are you happy?

[she flinches slightly] That's... a little too personal for an interview, isn't it?

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

What's your family like? What is your relationship with them?

My sister Rhiannwen and I are very close, we mean a great deal to each other. And if I may give a quick message to the public? [she waits for the interviewer to approve] I will not be answering questions about her condition and neither will she. Thank you. [short pause] And I visit the Mother Tree as often as I can. I care for her very much, even if we are no longer connected by the Dream.

Have you ever run away from home?

I have not. I did leave the Grove earlier than most siblings, but that was part of my Wyld Hunt, so I don't believe it counts.

Would you consider marriage or having children?

My beloved and I are already committed to each other, we don't need a fancy ceremony to show it. Neither of us are interested in having saplings either, though I do consider Aurene my daughter.

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

Of course not! And even if I did, I would hardly reveal it in an interview, would I?

Which friend knows everything about you?

Ffoirre, my best friend. Also my partner Kallisto and my sister, of course, but you specifically asked about friends, so-- [shrug]

ASKED BY FANS

Are you literate? Have you been to school?

While I may not have had professional schooling, the Dream taught me everything important as it does for all sylvari. I am also a proficient scholar in the field of necromancy. [with a deeply unimpressed look] Of course I'm literate.

The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?

[looking distinctly uncomfortable] Next question.

What is something you were embarrasingly late to realise?

I, uh... [quietly, looking down at her hands] That not everything is for me alone to fix. That not everything is my fault. [normal volume] Next question, please?

Do you have mental health or physical issues?

That is not an appropriate question for an interview! [she crosses her arms, hiding the scars on her hands, clearly to make a point] Do you ask everyone these things?

What is your current main goal?

Officially, the Pact is watching for another potentially world-ending event. But currently, my goal is simply to enjoy the peace with my loved ones.

CHOICES

Drink or food?

Food, I suppose. There's nothing better than sharing a homemade meal with the people I care for.

Cats or dogs?

I prefer cats, but I do enjoy it very much when Ffoirre brings his fernhounds to visit.

Early bird or night owl?

Definitely a night owl. [smiles fondly] My friends tell me it's because my sleeping habits were awful when I was still active, and they aren't wrong! But I genuinely prefer the nights. Kallisto is enough of a morning person for the both of us.

Optimist or pessimist?

After everything, it surprises even myself, but I am an optimist. I'm not sure I would have gotten this far if I was otherwise.

Sassy or sarcastic?

I am neither.

HAVE YOU EVER

Been caught sneaking out?

Well, does your definition of "sneaking out" include avoiding the Pact in Maguuma [clearly frustrated at the memory but trying to hide it] because they were constantly accusing me of being on the edge of falling to Mordremoth, despite being clear of mind and in fact helping other sylvari away from that edge? Then no.

Broken a bone?

[nod] The Maguuma Jungle was... not a pleasant place to be by any measure.

Received flowers?

A few times. Occasionally from fans, and a bouquet from Kallisto when we first got together. [she blushes] I actually dried some of them to keep in a little pot on my bedside table. Now I'm not travelling all the time, I can afford to be sentimental.

Ghosted someone?

I have, and I regret it deeply. I am very grateful they chose to forgive me, as I care about them very much.

Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn't get?

That's half the job of a diplomat, it seems. But otherwise, I prefer to ask for an explanation if I don't understand something. Will that be all?

TAGS

I'm pretty sure everyone I would tag has already done this, so free space

#this is set in some nebulous post-canon time where everything is fine don't worry about it #efalynn #guild wars 2 #gw2