growandrecover

[growandrecover]

[growandrecover]

My doctor told me that I have 1-5 years to live if I don’t recover from my ED. But I’m still scared to recover. Any suggestions on how I can start?

Hey, anon.

Let me start off by saying how sorry I am. I can't imagine how scary that must be. I'm rooting for you, and I truly hope you can recover and live a long, happy, and fulfilling life. I have faith in you, and the entire recovery community has your back. You can do this.

If you're able, I'd find a therapist or try to get into a treatment facility. You can certainly do things on your own, but the best option (if it's available to you) would be professional help. Treatment takes a while to get into, so if that's something you're able to afford, you should start doing research and look into that now. I know it's scary, but it'll save your life.

If those things aren't possible for you, don't worry, you can still get better.

First of all, you're going to need support. That can be anyone (who doesn't have the same perception of food that you do- no Ana buddies), and if you don't have anyone, I can help you if you'd like. Someone who can sit with you while you eat, either on the phone or physically, to both distract and encourage you to make sure you're eating. If you're having trouble, this person could redirect you or simply just listen.

The most effective start for me was challenging my fear foods. I've mentioned this one specific thing before, but it was the very beginning of me getting better. My therapist asked me if I could try to eat a few M&M's since I love sweet foods. I was completely opposed, but my mom had me start with 4. That seemed impossible, and I was terrified. How could I eat them? Didn't she know what they would do to me? But I remembered how much I missed my favorite foods, and facing your fears is one of the best ways to overcome them. I'm not going to lie, even though it was 4 M&M's, I was upset about it afterwards. This will likely be difficult for you, but keep in mind that there are millions of people who have been in your shoes and will continue to be in your shoes. They have recovered, and so can you.

I'd also recommend adding more food to whatever meals you're eating. If you're not eating three meals a day, suddenly jumping to that might be hard for you to maintain. If you eat one or two, maybe add a food group to whatever it is you've prepared. I'm assuming that you've probably cut out at least one food group, and if that's correct, try adding the least scary thing. So for example, if you don't eat fats, you could add cheese, nuts, avocados or whatever you feel like. If those are fear foods for you, maybe just eat more of your fear foods if you can. Eventually you can add another meal to your day, and another, until you're eating like most people.

Some people in my treatment group had to drink Ensure. It was an easy way to add calories to their daily intake without eating any extra. That might work better for you.

Just a heads up: Your body may not react well to this. I got stomach aches every time I ate, and had frequent headaches as well. There's also something called Refeeding Syndrome. I'd advise you to look into this before doing anything, as it's deadly. A big perk of having professional help would be them keeping an eye out for this. If you can't get professional help, you should talk to your doctor about it and how you can avoid it.

If you're someone who overexercises, uses (or abuses) laxatives, purges, or engages in similar activities, you need to cut down on that as much as you can bear. Maybe instead of exercising for your regular amount of time, you could reduce it to that amount of time a few times a week or just a little bit (I'm talking like 30 minutes or less) each day if you can't do the first one. If you use or abuse laxatives, tell your doctor immediately. I'm neither a psychological or medical expert, so I don't want to give you advice that could hurt you. The only thing I can say with certainty is to drink some Powerade or Gatorade (they have them in zero cals if you're afraid to drink stuff with cals) to replenish the electrolytes you're losing. I don't know that much about purging via vomiting, but try to limit how many times a day you do it.

If you're on any kind of pro-ed social media, get off of it asap. Watching shows or movies (or even reading books) that encourage them should be put on hold as well. If you have any pro-ed friends or family members, I'm not going to tell you to cut them off, but you need to set boundaries about what you talk about with them. If they don't understand that, then maybe you should reconsider the amount of time you spend with them. I'm not trying to be mean, I just know how difficult it is to have people in your life encouraging something that's horrible for you.

I really hope at least some of this was useful to you, anon. If you need to talk or have more questions feel free to send me a message or another ask.

What you're about to do is scary, and it's okay to be scared. But you're stronger than your ed and you can recover from it. I have the utmost faith in you. I wish you the best of luck, and I'm sending you so much love ♡

#asks

[growandrecover]

hi,

im really scared bc im officially ✨overweight✨ and my ed has just been #triggered. any tips on how to avoid relapse?

Hey, anon.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I'm really proud of you for reaching out and actively trying to avoid relapse. That's wonderful.

First up, if you can, stop weighing yourself, measuring, body checking, or anything else you may be doing. Your weight does not say anything about you. Absolutely nothing. If you're concerned about your BMI specifically (which I know a lot of people with eds get caught up in), it's all a bunch of garbage. It was made based off of cis white men, and does not take muscle mass into consideration. Even if you happen to be a white amab person, it's still a joke. If you can't stop completely, try to limit what you're doing.

Next, please make sure you're eating all your meals and snacks. My therapist has told me to do this, and I'm passing along the information to you guys. If you have to, set a schedule for yourself and stick to it with the best of your ability.

If you're someone who used exercise to lose weight in the past/if you exercise currently, you may want to lay off that until you're in a better headspace. Going along with this, if you wear a Fitbit or Apple Watch of any kind, taking it off may help avoiding triggers like your daily step count, calories burned, and your other exercise levels. I wore one for almost a year and took it off a few months ago. Surprisingly enough, my quick dips back into some of my ed behaviors have stopped. I finally realized that those triggers sitting on my wrist 24/7 had been messing with my head.

If you're able to/not already, get an adequate amount of sleep. I think we all know what happens when we stay up too late, letting our minds wander into our ed thoughts in the middle of the night. Low levels of sleep interfere with our mental health, which, in times like these, needs to be extra nurtured.

Try to look at it from someone else's point of view. If someone you knew came to you with this exact problem, what would you say? Would you want them to be kind to their body, to fuel it, and to take care of it? Probably, right? Or if that's hard for you to say to yourself, wouldn't you just want them to be free of their eating disorder?

This is pretty harsh, but your ed is trying to hurt you. It's trying to kill you. Whatever it needs to say to get you to engage in those behaviors, it will. It'll tell you that you're not as [adjective of your choice] or [another adjective of your choice] when you weigh more than you have in the past, but that's simply not true. As I said earlier, your weight is just a number. You deserve recovery. You deserve happiness. You deserve a life free of food rules and that nasty voice in your head.

If you're scared, I'm here to tell you: your ed will not fix anything. Losing weight will not fix the idea of yourself you have in your head, and won't make you magically like your body more. It wants you to think it will, but it won't. It only makes your life worse.

Something that helps me is looking at recovery posts on Pinterest or Tumblr. I love being able to see other people's thoughts and encouragement. It always inspires me to keep going, and I hope it'll do the same for you, too.

Whatever it is that triggered you is not worth all the pain and suffering that comes with an ed. I don't care if it was something somebody said or just a thought you had. Nothing is worth going back to your ed.

You can do this. I believe in you.

I really hope this was at least a little bit helpful, and I hope you're okay, anon. If you're not right now, you will be.

If I missed something, or you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message! ♡

#asks

[growandrecover]

Hey! Just really enjoy your account and think is so so nice, and just wanted to come and ask how are you doing?

Just feel like you do a very nice thing here and if you want you can use this post to talk about your life lately and how things have been going for you if you wish!

Thank you for all the posts, they are incredibly helpful ❤️‍🩹

Oh my gosh, thank you so much! You just made my day ♡

I'm actually doing really well right now. This Thanksgiving was the first that I didn't have any kind of ed thoughts, and I was able to enjoy it for the first time in three years. I'm so grateful for the help I've received over the years, and it makes me so happy to hear that I can help at least one person. Thank you, anon.

Work and school have kept me pretty busy, but the semester is almost over!! 🥳

Thank you for this ask, it means a lot. I hope you're doing well, and I hope you have a great holiday season if you celebrate! <3

#asks

[growandrecover]

ive been in recovery for about 4 years but the “you’re not sick enough” voice hasn’t left my head at all and what i keep getting stuck on is i know people with eds who had lower weights than i did and who restricted more than i did. and i know it’s illogical but i feel like i can’t have actually had an ed when other people ate less and weighed less. particularly i found out the other day that someone i know had a lowest weight that was just over half of what my lowest weight was. like i was twice as heavy as they were at my smallest. and this person ate less than me at their worst too. I know that eating disorders aren’t diagnosed based on what you weighed or when the specifics of your restriction. Like I’ve been in treatment and I’ve been diagnosed and no one has ever even asked how many calories i ate in a day. But I harbor this fear that if I told people how much I ate at my worst they’d be like “that’s not that bad” or that it wasn’t really an eating disorder or that I wasn’t really starving. And I know logically the truth of the matter but I can’t make it stick in my brain. Idk if you can actually help but I’m desperate

Hi!

I totally understand what you're going through. I've experienced this as well.

Starting off with the person you know, the two of you don't share the same genetics, so you being their lowest weight could be unfeasible for your height/family history/or even just your body. My childhood best friend and I could eat the same amount of restricted food, and exercise the same, but she'd always be smaller than me. Because I've always compared my body to hers, that's been a huge struggle for me as well, but I have to remind myself that we simply do not have the same genes, and now matter how hard I tried, my body would never look like hers. And that's okay.

If you were diagnosed with an ed, I'd most likely say that if you were to tell someone what you were eating in a day, they'd find that it's not as much as you think it is. During mine, I ate all three meals and some people didn't believe me when I told them I had an ed. But if you were to put all of my safe foods on a table, it wouldn't be enough to satiate the average person my age's appetite. If a professional could look at your behavior, diagnose you, and send you to treatment, you were starving and you have an eating disorder.

Just because some people restricted more than you or had lower weights than you doesn't mean you weren't as sick as they are. Someone once added a note to one of my posts talking about this, but with a cold metaphor.

To very roughly summarize, they said that if you had a cold and your friends had the flu and covid, their bragging about being very sick might make you feel like having a cold doesn't make you sick enough, even though fevers and other cold symptoms warrant medicine and time off school and work. Here's the link to the post in case you want to read it yourself.

From an outside perspective let me say this: the people in your life who aren't sick aren't thinking about you not being as sick as someone else they may know. They either know you're sick or they don't. If they know that you went to treatment for an ed, they probably think you were as just as sick as anyone else, and I'm sure they're glad to see you in recovery.

And also, you don't want to be as sick as some people are! I know your ed is telling you that it's the only way to feel valid, but some people with dangerous weights may still feel like they're not as valid as someone else. Your ed is giving you life during it through rose colored glasses. Being sick was not fun. It was not enjoyable in any sense of the word. Being sicker would only make your life worse, and that's what anyone's ed wants for them. You're in recovery now, and you should be really proud of yourself. If you can't say it, then I will. I'm so proud of you, anon. You don't need to be sicker. Your ed is valid, and you *were* sick enough. Anyone that is struggling with an ed is sick enough. Their weight, food intake, and other habits don't matter. If you have an ed, you are sick enough, and you deserve all the help you can get.

Finally, if you're able to, you might want to reach out to a therapist and see if they could help you with this issue. I'm giving you things to think about on your own, but I'm not a medical professional, and if you continue struggling with this, it could impact you more intensely than it already is.

I hope this helped, and feel free to send another ask or a message if I missed something or you just need to talk.

Best of luck to you in you recovery, and I hope things get better for you ♡

#asks

[growandrecover]

Idk if you're still active in this account but anyway. I was in quasi-recovery since Feb 2022 and I started real recovery and being committed in Feb/March 2023. I gained 3 pant sizes since then, and I stabilized in that weight months ago. I think I kinda plateaud. The thing is, I don't really trust continuing to eat what I want and as much as my body asks (the cravings and the extreme hunger have lowered a lot but I still feel like I'm eating too much and too many cravings for "bad food") I just feel like I'll keep gaining if I don't have any control over that. I also do moderate movement, like walking, dancing and some yoga/stretching when I feel like it and when I need a break for my mental health, but I don't do it everyday nor am I super consistent because burnout from a really stressful, busy and traumatic year leaves me tired and I just want to rest. I feel like I won't stop, like I haven't plateaud and I will continue to gain.

I've always had wide hips, really big thighs and big arms so it's already kinda tricky finding some clothes in shops. I'm scared of not being able to fit in airplane sits, that I will just have a worse life due to gaining more weight, because no amount of self-acceptance denies that you're treated less like a human depending on how big you are. I feel way better since I started recovery but societal fatphobia and my fear of gaining weight make me anxious and scared. I also fear I will never find love. I'm learning to love myself and I don't base my self-worth on a romantic partner, but I still want to experience genuine love in which someone actually loves my body, and that my body won't be an impediment to have a partner (i'm bi). I'm also desperate everyday to know if I'll lose overshoot, I hope so but I fear it won't happen. I have made a lot of progress with food but I fear it will be hijacked due to these problems. I feel like my body works against me. I just want to be normal, and I feel like I'll never be if I gain more.

I know this is a lot but I'm desperate and I've had an extremely rough year, I really don't have anyone to talk about this. I hope you have some advice. Thanks for reading me ❤️

Hi, anon.

Let me start off by saying how proud I am of you. Not only for being in recovery, but for being aware enough of your body's tolerance levels and being able to limit your exercise. That's so amazing, I'm really happy for you.

About your weight gain, I'd say that since you've plateaued, you should be able to continue eating what you've been eating. If your body is craving certain things, it's probably trying to tell you that you're not getting enough of whatever it is. Craving "bad foods" (there's also no such thing as good and bad foods, they all nourish your body and keep you going, but I get your point) might mean that you're missing certain things like fats, salt, sugar, etc.

As for the clothing, lots of things in stores aren't designed for some body types. I've always had a hard time with jeans, even before my ed. My size would fit me in the thighs, but be too big everywhere else. It's really all dependent on the designer. If you can, try not to let that get you down. Maybe you could google some brands that work for other people with your body type, and try those out and see if they fit you better.

Gaining weight is a huge fear factor in the recovery process, and your fears are completely valid. Unfortunately, you're right. People do treat people differently based on how they look. But you know what? People that are worth your time, love, and attention won't care about what you look like, or what size you are (the sizing is all a joke anyways). I know that sometimes stuff like that is hard to take because your initial reaction may be, "Yeah, right. That does nothing for me.", but it's true. I've been lucky enough to have people in my life that don't judge me based on my body or appearance, but lots of people don't share that. You will find a partner who will love every single inch of your body, and won't care if it changes. I've felt the exact same way (and sometimes I still do), but I can guarantee you that the perfect person will come along and adore you for you.

Also, the people who go along with societal pressures, like judging others for who they are, and what they look like, are most likely insecure themselves. Seeing people be who they are, and not ashamed of themselves makes some people angry. You have no control over that. If some people don't accept you for your body, that's okay. Sometimes I think about all the people I've seen be body shamed online. People will dislike you for anything. They'll hate you for being too thin, too "average", or too big. There's quite literally no winning here. If you try to care a little bit less about how others perceive your body, you'll be much happier, I promise.

A big turning point for me was realizing that no matter what size I was, pre-ed, during my ed, and during the first part of recovery, I didn't like the way I looked. So I might as well pick the choice that let me live with as little food restrictions as possible, right?

You *have* made a lot of progress with food, and you should be proud of that. The things that you're doing aren't hijacking your accomplishments. Recovery isn't linear. You're going to have bad times with your body and food, but you've still made wonderful achievements. And you *are* normal. Your size doesn't determine who you are. It can feel like it, for sure. But as an outside party, you're normal. Your mind is telling you you're not, and society may be as well. But as another person with an ed, as another human, you're normal, and you're perfect just the way you are.

I really hope this helps, and best of luck to you in your recovery. You're doing beautifully.

If you need someone to talk to, you can message me if you'd like, anon. <3 Or if you'd rather stay anonymous, you can just send more asks if that works better for you!!

#asks

[growandrecover]

i don’t know how to cope with my weight gain. I’ve gained so much weight and i feel like im constantly gaining more. Clothes from two summers ago don’t fit anymore. A pair of jeans that were loose on me fit now. I’m afraid it’s not going to stop. Im afraid I’ll just keep gaining weight. Im afraid im eating too much. Im afraid im doing something wrong by eating at all. Im afraid to stop exercising because it makes me feel worse about food. Im afraid im never going to get better and im afraid I don’t deserve to get better and im afraid im doing it wrong and I feel disgusting and uncomfortable and I don’t like feeling hungry and i don’t like feeling full and I don’t know how much I’m supposed to eat in a day and no one listens to me when I say im afraid im eating too much because they all think I’m still under eating but what if they’re wrong because they don’t know what I eat in a day and what if I keep gaining weight and it doesn’t stop I don’t want to have to replace my clothes im sorry for the rant Im having a hard time

I'm just now seeing this ask, and I'm so, so sorry! I hope you're okay, anon. Please forgive me <3

I know exactly how you feel, I really do. Here is a gentle reminder that we are not meant to fit into the clothes, they are meant to fit us. Something that helps me with these thoughts is this: I started my eating disorder when I was 16 years old. I'm 19 now, and my body is no longer the same as it was when I was 16. I look back on myself before my ed, and wish that I hadn't done what I did, but I wouldn't look like that regardless. I'm not sure how old you are, but our bodies change naturally as we get older. Even if you were only in your ed for a few months, your body could have possibly changed anyways. 14/15 year old me would not have looked the same as I do now, even without the ed, because that's how our bodies work. I won't look the same in my mid 20s, either, and that's okay.

It seems like you're still practicing some ed behaviors out of fear, and let me tell you (as someone who did the exact same thing), it won't make anything better for you. Exercise in itself is beneficial to your body, but not when you're doing it in the way we do. Not eating enough and working out is only going to delay your recovery. If you can, maybe try to limit your exercise until you can practice it in a healthy way.

I know it's hard, but if I were you, I'd listen to the people around you, especially if they don't have eds or disordered eating. If they have a healthy relationship with food, they can look at you (like they're doing) and be able to tell you honestly that you're not eating enough. Try to trust them. Your eating disorder will tell you they're lying, but they're not. You can eat freely.

Unfortunately, sometimes feeling uncomfortable and disgusting is part of recovery. We've gotten used to the way our body looks when we're hurting it, and now that we're trying to get better, we may not look the same. I felt so hideous and gross for so long, but it does get better. This ask was sent a few months ago (and again, I'm so sorry), so I hope you're doing better now.

Your weight gain will eventually come to an end, once your body can trust you again and can hold on to the weight.

And again, unfortunately, you may have to replace your clothes. But as I mentioned earlier, they're just clothes. Even if they're some of your favorite things you own, you'll find new favorites. Please don't try to maintain your lower weight to fit into your clothes. It's just fabric, and the sizes are all a joke anyways.

I really hope you're doing well, and I apologize again for taking so long to answer this. Wishing you the best of luck in your recovery, anon. You can do this. <3

#asks

[growandrecover]

@strechii thanks for the tip <3

guys please reblog this version

OCD and hand washing

Since cold and flu (and covid) season is approaching, I thought I'd make a post about obsessive hand washing because it's something I've been struggling with for years. So here are some thing you can do to protect your hands and maybe lower the amount of compulsions surrounding cleaning/washing if you can.

If your hands are not currently split open or raw, buy or use some cream that's thick and fit for dry, sensitive skin. My favorite is Cetaphil's Moisturizing Cream for very dry to dry, sensitive skin. However, it's a bit expensive, so I've been using Equate Therapeutic Dry Skin Cream. (From my experience the creams are thicker and make my hands feel better, but they come in jars, so if you have a fear or compulsion about not wanting to put your hands in your products, they have tubes and bottles out there)

If your hands are split open or raw, please don't use lotion or cream on them! Trust me, it'll burn. A few years ago, I looked up remedies, and I found that olive oil doesn't burn and does the trick! So when my hands were split, for the first day or two, I'd put olive oil on a few times a day, and then after they healed a little bit, I'd move to a lotion and vaseline combo. Although, olive oil has gotten a bit more expensive where I live, so if you live somewhere where it's the same, coconut oil can work as well.

I totally forgot to add- if you wash your hands with very hot water and dish soap: please do not do this anymore! it's drying out your hands so much faster. dish soap is not meant for hands, it's very rough. also, water so hot to the point it's steaming is only detrimental to your skin. you'll kill the germs by using regular hand soap and cold water. :)

Tips on not to wash as much:

I get it, you feel like you need to wash your hands. Especially now as everyone's getting sick, it can be pretty scary if you have ocd. I've been there too, and am currently struggling with it. You're not alone.

Ask yourself if it's *absolutely necessary*. If you just came in from work/school/the store, then yes of course, go wash your hands. But if you touched something like the remote (that maybe the people you live with touched), it's not going to kill you to not wash your hands. This is coming from someone who couldn't touch the remote or any doorknob (in my own home!) a few months ago, but can do so now without washing her hands. Yes, it's extremely difficult, and will likely invoke fear and other unpleasant emotions and feelings, but if you can, maybe just try one thing at a time. For example, maybe try not washing your hands after touching the refrigerator door (if that's not an issue, pick something that's relevant to you). If you can't- that's okay, this is a hard thing to do!

Wear gloves if you can. Yes, this may be reinforcing your compulsions, but if you still really struggle with washing your hands over and over and over, gloves could be able to help you. You can get a pair of regular gloves, or you can buy disposable ones if you're dealing with something you may not want to get on cloth gloves.

Distract yourself. If you're doing something where an obsession and a compulsion usually come into play, try a distraction. You could turn the tv on, put on a YouTube video, listen to music, or talk to someone.

Try to rationalize your way out of it. If you have OCD or struggle with similar symptoms, you know that most obsessions and compulsions don't make any sense. So if your brain is telling you to clean something or wash your hands, logic your way out of it. If it's telling you that you'll get hurt if you don't clean all the doorknobs, ask it why? Any germ that may be on there is not likely to kill you. Unless you don't have your covid vaccines, or have a compromised immune system, there's most likely nothing to worry about.

If you live in a place where masks aren't mandatory, wearing one may ease your concerns. You don't have to if it's not required, but I've been wearing one the whole time, and I don't worry anywhere near as much when I go out because I feel protected.

If you need/want to reach out, please do! I'm here for you all, and I wish you nothing but the best ❤️

[growandrecover]

to all my lovelies that have gained weight in recovery and have new stretch marks:

I know it can be really hard to see those, and even harder to love them, but try to look at it as physical proof of your survival. You have those marks because to chose to heal. You chose life. You chose recovery, and now you have stretch marks. That's okay. They're beautiful, even if you can't see that.

#mental health #ed recovery #ed recovery tips #recovery #ana recovery #mia recovery #bed recovery #body posititivity #weight gain in recovery

[growandrecover]

As the new school year/semester is starting, please remember to take care of yourself. your grades are not more important than your mental health, even if someone is breathing down your neck about them. your health, whether it be mental, physical, or emotional, should not ever come second to school or work. you need all three of those in tact to perform in your academic duties.

your gpa will not make or break your future. sure, certain scores or percentages would definitely help you, but at the end of the day, they're just numbers. you're more than that. your grades do not define you. you are not less intelligent, less worthy, or simply just less than because you receive a grade you're not pleased with.

let me say it again: you cannot perform if you do not take care of yourself. please remember that, love.

please feel free to reach out if you need to talk. good luck this year/semester, you guys!! ♡

#mental health #school tips #college tips #college advice #high school tips #high school advice #school advice #studyblr #study motivation #studying #study tips #academia #university #study aesthetic #study blog

[growandrecover]

hey!! I’m in ed recovery but what do I do if I don’t think I’m “bad” enough to recover?? I don’t think I was ever clinically underweight so can I even identify with the ana (or, recovering ana) label? I feel like I can’t recover until I’m properly validated as sick. do u have any tips on how to combat this feeling? tysm, I love ur blog!

Hey! Thanks for the ask <3 I know exactly how you feel. Yes, being underweight is a symptom of anorexia (a *big* one, for whatever reason), but the way I think about it, if a fat person was anorexic, they may not "technically" qualify, but that doesn't make them any less anorexic. You don't need to be underweight to be an ana (although some of them may tell you otherwise, do not listen to them. So many anas are in a very unhealthy headspace where they tell people they need to be sicker, which is frankly not true.) If you feel like/know you are anorexic, you are sick enough to recover. Why? Because if you didn't feel that way, there would be nothing to recover from.

Let me say this to you really quick: You are valid in your disorder. You are sick enough. I'm sure you've heard this before, but people who aren't sick don't think the way we do in terms of needing to feel "sick enough" in order to heal. This is another way our disorders trap us in this endless cycle of harmful behaviors. We convince ourselves we're not sick enough, and we only get worse in the process, which doesn't do any good.

To help with those thoughts, you could write them down whenever one pops into your head. For me personally, when I see my thoughts written down, they become more real. So if I see "I'm not sick enough" written down in front of me, there's a high chance I'll go, "woah, why would I ever think that?". I know everyone is different, so you may need to try something else.

You could talk to someone if you're able to (if you can't get a therapist, try talking to someone who doesn't have an ed because their point of view is so different *only if you know they'll be supportive and won't just tell you to eat*). I say get a person without an ed because I remember telling my younger sibling about certain things having to do with my ed, and they'd always think it was so odd. To them, rules around food are ridiculous. Hearing them say "you want to look like them?" or "I'm eating the same thing, and I'm okay." is so reassuring because it seems so well intentioned and wholesome. They've always encouraged me to eat, especially the foods they know I love. Their point of view always puts my ed related problems into perspective because they have a healthy relationship with food.

If you don't want to do that, you could always just try affirming yourself. Any time your ed voice is really getting to you, you could try saying, "I am sick enough. This particular thing is bothering me so much because I'm sick. Xyz wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have an ed." If you don't believe that right now, that's okay. Sometimes you just have to fake it till you make it.

And one last time, just for good measure: You are sick enough. If you weren't, you wouldn't be worried about it. You can do this, I know you can. You're strong, and you can beat this disorder.

I wish you nothing but success and happiness in recovery, love. Have a great day/night ♡ And feel free to reach out again if you need to talk!

#reblogging this version because i could not have said it better myself #the cold metaphor is SO smart!!

[growandrecover]

hey!! I’m in ed recovery but what do I do if I don’t think I’m “bad” enough to recover?? I don’t think I was ever clinically underweight so can I even identify with the ana (or, recovering ana) label? I feel like I can’t recover until I’m properly validated as sick. do u have any tips on how to combat this feeling? tysm, I love ur blog!

Hey! Thanks for the ask <3 I know exactly how you feel. Yes, being underweight is a symptom of anorexia (a *big* one, for whatever reason), but the way I think about it, if a fat person was anorexic, they may not "technically" qualify, but that doesn't make them any less anorexic. You don't need to be underweight to be an ana (although some of them may tell you otherwise, do not listen to them. So many anas are in a very unhealthy headspace where they tell people they need to be sicker, which is frankly not true.) If you feel like/know you are anorexic, you are sick enough to recover. Why? Because if you didn't feel that way, there would be nothing to recover from.

Let me say this to you really quick: You are valid in your disorder. You are sick enough. I'm sure you've heard this before, but people who aren't sick don't think the way we do in terms of needing to feel "sick enough" in order to heal. This is another way our disorders trap us in this endless cycle of harmful behaviors. We convince ourselves we're not sick enough, and we only get worse in the process, which doesn't do any good.

To help with those thoughts, you could write them down whenever one pops into your head. For me personally, when I see my thoughts written down, they become more real. So if I see "I'm not sick enough" written down in front of me, there's a high chance I'll go, "woah, why would I ever think that?". I know everyone is different, so you may need to try something else.

You could talk to someone if you're able to (if you can't get a therapist, try talking to someone who doesn't have an ed because their point of view is so different *only if you know they'll be supportive and won't just tell you to eat*). I say get a person without an ed because I remember telling my younger sibling about certain things having to do with my ed, and they'd always think it was so odd. To them, rules around food are ridiculous. Hearing them say "you want to look like them?" or "I'm eating the same thing, and I'm okay." is so reassuring because it seems so well intentioned and wholesome. They've always encouraged me to eat, especially the foods they know I love. Their point of view always puts my ed related problems into perspective because they have a healthy relationship with food.

If you don't want to do that, you could always just try affirming yourself. Any time your ed voice is really getting to you, you could try saying, "I am sick enough. This particular thing is bothering me so much because I'm sick. Xyz wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have an ed." If you don't believe that right now, that's okay. Sometimes you just have to fake it till you make it.

And one last time, just for good measure: You are sick enough. If you weren't, you wouldn't be worried about it. You can do this, I know you can. You're strong, and you can beat this disorder.

I wish you nothing but success and happiness in recovery, love. Have a great day/night ♡ And feel free to reach out again if you need to talk!

#asks

[growandrecover]

I just want you all to know that there is life beyond your eating disorder. There is hope.

Your life will not always be numbers, body checks, obsessing over every little detail, binges or restriction, pain and suffering. I know it can feel like your ed is your home, who you should be, who you are. But it's not.

It may feel like you've lost yourself (or you've found yourself within this disorder), but I can promise you that you WILL find the real you again. You were not put on this earth to be sick. That is not your purpose in life.

It could feel like without this, there's nothing to you, that this is the only thing you can do right. It's not. There are so many wonderful things that make you you, and one of them is not your eating disorder.

In a weird way, it's kind of comforting, isn't it? It always trips me up to think about, but sometimes it feels like coming home after a long day and being able to drop your bags. But the thing is, there's no comfort to it at all. Our disorders are fantastic liars, and they've tricked us into think we need it, that without it, we're just a shell of a person. You don't need it, you've never needed it, and like I said previously, this disorder is not what makes you who you are. You do. Not anorexia, b.e.d, bulimia, orthorexia, or ednos.

You deserve a life not centered around food and the rules you've created. You deserve to be able to think about other things. To enjoy life again. Please don't let your ed tell you any differently.

Please reach out if you need someone to talk to or if you'd like to send an ask. I wish you all nothing but the best ♡

#ed recovery #recovery #ed recovery tips #mental heath support #mental health #ana recovery #mia recovery #body posititivity #bed recovery #positive reminders #mental health positivity #recovery positivity #mental health reminders

[growandrecover]

Hii, I have a question.

I haven't been diagnosed with anything, and no one ever really knew I had an eating disorder, which leaves me thinking if I ever did. My disorderedbehaviors started a year ago, and it has been just two months of *actual* restriction and fasting. With such a short term problem, could I still call myself anorexic? (or former anorexic, as I am trying to recover now)

Let me just start this off by saying, a formal diagnosis is not required for you to consider yourself an anorexic (or a bulimic, orthorexic, someone with bed, someone with ednos, etc.).

**Before I say anything else, I just want to mention that I am not a professional, in any shape or form (though hopefully one day, I will be), I just happen to have an ed and have been treated for it. I can't diagnose you, but I am someone who believes that self diagnosing can be very helpful and "empowering", in a sense. Also, me explaining this topic is not me being "pro" anything. (Anon, this is not pointed at you, I'm just saying this for the people who are reading this and could possibly interpret it the wrong way.) I am not pro ana, pro mia, or pro any other harmful behavior. I am, however, pro recovery, and if you need help, please don't hesitate to reach out if you need someone to talk to.

I'm going to put the rest of this post under a 'keep reading' in case anyone finds this triggering. (Anon, please don't take this as an insult, I am more than happy to answer your question <3 )

TW: ed behavior, symptoms of eds, mention of addiction, and specifications of anorexia (types). Please do not continue if you think this will be triggering to you in any way.

Honestly, I guess it depends on what the disordered behavior looked like prior to what it does currently. Fasting and restriction aren't the only ways to be considered an anorexic.

Also, no one knowing you were having trouble does not mean you didn't/don't have an ed. I think of eds as an addiction (just like drinking or gambling), and addicts are known for being good at hiding what they're addicted to. Our disorders tell us that we have to keep it a secret, and we listen. Even though I've been in recovery for over a year now, my mom and I talk about my ed sometimes, and she always admits to me that while she knows a lot of what I went through, she'll never know the entirety of it. And it's possible that it'll be the same for you.

But, I do have a DSM-5 (I needed one for a psych class), and this is what it says:

"There are three essential features of anorexia nervosa: persistent energy intake restriction; intense fear of gaining weight or of becoming fat, or persistent behavior that interferes with weight gain; and a disturbance in self-perceived weight or shape." (pg 339, American Psychiatric Association)

There are also 2 types; restricting and binge/purge. (both of which use a timeline of the last 3 months. for example: during the last 3 months, the individual has done *insert disordered behavior in here*)

It says a lot more than that, but I think (hope) that may be the most helpful to you.

I think it's 100% up to you whether or not you consider yourself an anorexic. You're the only one who knows what that looked like for you, and it's yours to decide. :)

If you'd like more information from the DSM, or if you have any other questions, feel free to send me a message or another ask.

I wish you nothing but the best in your recovery, and I'm sending you lots of love and well wishes, darling. ♡

#asks

[growandrecover]

I wanted to ask, is it okay to eat way more than you "should" while in recovery? Is it okay to just give in to the "urges" and eat when you want to?

Going into recovery, I think we all set a "designated amount" for ourselves, but trust me, if you're hungry, your body needs that food. Please eat when you want to. When we first start out, our hunger and fullness cues are all out of whack, and our bodies have no clue what's going on. So sometimes we're constantly hungry, and other times, we just can't tell.

Even if your hunger and fullness cues have recovered, please eat when you want to. Our disorders are telling us we're eating too much, but trust me, you're not. Even if you feel like you are. You get those cravings for a reason (most likely because you're lacking in nutrients or vitamins your body requires to function.)

When I first started out, I ate *everything*. And I quite literally mean everything (this still happens to me after a relapse or something similar). My nutritionist was shocked, but I just kept telling her I was absolutely ravenous. Sometimes 30 minutes after a meal, I'd get a really strong craving to eat a specific food, and I felt so much better after I ate it.

To answer your question, yes, it's okay. It's more than okay; I encourage you and anyone else reading this in recovery to eat whenever you feel like you need to.

Lots of love ♡

#I hope this was helpful #asks

[growandrecover]

please don't feel bad if you can't start or stay in recovery for yourself. eating disorders take huge tolls on our self esteem and self image. if you feel like you can recover for anything, or anyone, do it. it doesn't matter if you think it's irrelevant, any reason to recover is a valid reason. I kid you not, something that helped me was thinking about my favorite band and how they care about their fans and probably wouldn't want me to continue doing this to myself

I know lots of people say that we should be able (and want) to recover for ourselves, but lots of times, we just can't. and that's okay.

#this is kind of a response to tags I saw on a reblog of a post of mine and thought I should touch on it a bit more #I also figured other people might need to see this too #ed recovery #ed recovery tips #recovery #mental heath support #ana recovery #body posititivity #mia recovery #mental health #friendly reminder #positive affirmations #mental health positivity

[growandrecover]

if you're gaining weight in recovery and feel bad about it, that's your body trying to keep you alive. I know it's extremely difficult to deal with your body changing, especially because our disorders are so image based, but your body isn't thinking about that. Its sole purpose is to keep you alive, and that's what it's doing for you.

Your body may not be able to trust you right now, and if you feel out of control, that could be why. But don't worry, a day will come where it can begin to rely on you again to give it what it needs.

#thinking about it like this seriously helped me change my mindset at the beginning of my recovery #ed recovery #ed recovery tips #recovery #mental heath support #ana recovery #body posititivity #mia recovery #mental health #friendly reminder #positive affirmations #positive reminders #mental health positivity