#ADULTS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO NURTURE AND TAKE CARE OF US made US take care of THEM. it’s that meme about having beef with a 5 year old but its

[pepprs]

definitely not an original thought but so many submissions on the aita tumblr aregenuinely so depressing. like “aita for not coming out to my parents when they have repeatedly demonstrated that doing so would be unsafe” “aita for standing up for myself in an abusive relationship” “aita for having a critical thought about someone who was cruel to me” good god.

#purrs #relatedly… and not to say this but. i truly truly truly think it is sickening how many ppl have emotionally unavailable / abusive / whatever #parents like how did this happen to so many of us. i think that’s the reason that we think things like this are our fault. because fucking #ADULTS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO NURTURE AND TAKE CARE OF US made US take care of THEM. it’s that meme about having beef with a 5 year old but its #so unfunny in this context like. why are you forcing your child to be someone they are not or sacrifice their identity / desires / whatever #so YOU can feel good about yourself. as if that does not do devastating lasting psychological damage to a young person lol. #this is why with every day that goes by i think more and more that iprobably shoudl not have kids. i wanted to so bad a few yrs ago but it’s #like… god. even if i tried my absolute hardest to not emotionally harm a child like that i do not want to risk making eben the smallest #mistake. i don’t want to subject someone who didn’t even ask for it to a lifetime of feeling like this. lolllll #delete later #<- in part bc im abt to go practice drivin GB for the 3rd time so my thoughts aren’t clear rn imjust mad about this. #like… kids are YOUNG! they don’t have emotional.. whatever it is to shoulder their own emotions and then a whole ADULT’S. and it’s so sosick #the way that so many kids have had to and STILL have to. and how it’s a cycle and all that. and the only way to break it is not having kids! #* sometimes more than one adult’s not to mention other kids in some situations. like good god. it’s so so so sick. #ask to tag

[goldengalore]

Ready

An anxious!reader fic.

Summary: Harry wants kids. Y/N isn’t sure what she wants. Feeling pressured to make up her mind, she agrees to something she’s not ready for.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: angst, smut

A/N: Hello! It’s been a while. This fic is based on this ask I received forever ago. Enjoy :)

***

Y/N has always been on the fence about having kids.

As a young teenager, she assumed she would have them when she grew up, fell in love, and got married. Social norms, along with her own childish naivete, made her believe that this was the only path one could take in life. Having children was the next logical step to marriage, which was the next logical step to falling in love.

And then she matured and realized that life is not nearly as cut-and-dry, that having kids is a choice, not a necessity, and that she can absolutely go her whole life without having any if that’s what she wants. This realization came as a relief but also felt somewhat unnerving because how is she supposed to know what she wants? She is quite possibly the most indecisive person on the planet, so it’s no surprise that she has bounced back and forth between wanting and not wanting children throughout her entire adult life.

On one hand, she thinks of her friends who have kids and how their lives have become utterly consumed by the little humans that require their constant care and attention. There is just so much that Y/N wants to experience and achieve before settling into a life like that.

Not to mention the horrors of pregnancy. It’s not exactly a walk in the park, having to carry a human life inside of you for nine months and then give birth to it. The health complications, the irreversible bodily changes, the sheer, agonizing pain of childbirth.

And yet, on some days, she fantasizes about becoming a mother, of holding a tiny life in her arms and nurturing it into a full-grown adult. An important character in these fantasies has always been the sweet, thoughtful, loving partner by her side who takes equal responsibility for their child. This person was always a faceless individual—an idealistic depiction of the kind of partner Y/N hoped to find someday.

And then Harry came along.

Sweet, thoughtful, loving Harry who, unlike her, was always sure of his desire to have kids. For him, it was never a question of whether he wanted them but a question of when.

That moment finally arrived for him a year ago. But Y/N wasn’t sure if she felt ready yet.

“What are you afraid of?” he asked her one day. “I don’t mean that in a judgemental way. Bringing a child into this world is scary for anyone, including myself. I’m just curious to know what your specific concerns are.”

“Well, there’s the usual stuff, like whether or not I’ll be a good mother—”

“You’ll be a phenomenal mother.”

She smiled at him, then continued, “Or whether my kids will be able to have a good future with so much chaos in the world...” She trailed off hesitantly.

“But there’s something else,” he said, gently urging her to share what was really holding her back.

“I… I’ve always been terrified of the idea of having to raise a child alone, either because something bad happens to the father or he leaves out of the blue or we break up and I’m left to take care of this child by myself. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I… I’ve never been able to shake this fear.”

“Doesn’t sound ridiculous to me. I was raised by a single mother, so I know it’s not an easy job.” He reached for her hand and kissed her knuckle, never breaking eye contact. “But I’m not going anywhere, Y/N. You know that, right? We’re in this together. We’re a team, always.”

She nodded. “I know.”

“Well, I’m alright with waiting until you feel ready. I want us both to feel ready before we jump into this.”

In the six months following that conversation, the topic would crop up several more times, like after Harry saw her interacting with his godchildren at a party or they walked past a cute baby in a stroller at the grocery store. Y/N didn’t mind discussing the topic. It gave her a chance to ponder and become more comfortable with the concept of motherhood.

Yesterday, Harry returned home from a month-long movie shoot in Sweden. Y/N surprised him by showing up at the airport. What he doesn’t know is that she has another surprise in store for him.

While he was in Sweden, she decided to go off her birth control and now wants to try for kids.

She plans on telling him later tonight once they get home from their friend’s birthday party. They’ve been all over each other tonight. That’s what being apart for a month does to them. Hell, even a week apart is enough to turn them into a couple of horny teenagers that can’t keep their hands off each other.

“You look so hot in that dress,” Harry whispers in her ear, half-joking because they both know this is his fifth time saying that tonight.

Emboldened by a couple glasses of wine, a tipsy Y/N whispers back, “I want you to put a baby in me.”

His eyes widen. He chuckles. “That wine bringing out your wild side?”

“I’m serious,” she states, glancing around to double check that no one is within earshot of their conversation. “I went off my birth control a month ago, after you left for Sweden.”

He stares at her blankly, like her words haven’t quite sunk in.

“H, I’m ready to do this.”

“Really?”

She smiles. “Yes.”

“We’re doing this,” he says as it finally sinks in. He kisses her wine-stained lips. “Let’s get out of here, yeah?”

“Yes, please.”

Y/N can hardly keep her composure on the way home. Harry appears to be in the same boat, as he keeps sneaking glances at her while driving, his hand caressing her thigh. While he’s always been a responsible driver, she can sense the impatience in his maneuvers tonight.

Once they’re home, it’s almost a race to the bedroom. Harry gently pushes her onto the bed and climbs on top of her.

“Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to watch you walk around in this dress tonight”—he runs a hand down her front—“and not be able to bend you over and just slip my cock into you?”

She moans as he cups her pussy through her dress with a firm hand. He lets her grind against it for a minute before pulling away to take off his clothes. She follows suit.

Soon, they’re back on the bed, sharing another series of ardent kisses. By the time he goes down on her, she’s already dripping wet and he licks it up as if he hasn’t had a drop of water in days. Her hips grind against his tongue like they did against his hand just a moment ago. It doesn’t take her long to orgasm.

He shifts up the bed to hover over her body. He kisses her again while lining up his cock with her entrance. As he slides into her, she feels a slight discomfort from being stretched open for the first time in a month. He pulls out and pushes in a little deeper each time to let her adjust until he fills her up completely and she’s too immersed in pleasure to have a single coherent thought anymore.

“Fuck, you feel incredible,” he says, starting to pump in and out. “Gonna come inside you, yeah? Gonna come deep inside your tight little cunt and fill you up, put a baby in you. Is that what you want?”

Those words flip a switch in Y/N’s mind. She makes an involuntary noise that makes it seem like she’s agreeing with him, so he picks up his pace. Just as he finishes inside her, the terrible realization dawns: She is not ready to have a baby. Not at all.

“I love you,” Harry whispers in her ear, his body resting flush against hers as he comes down from his high.

Tears spring to Y/N’s eyes as she realizes what she’s done, what they’ve just done. When she doesn’t reciprocate his statement, he lifts his head to look at her. A tear escapes her left eye at that exact moment.

Concern furrows his brow. “Lovie? Hey, what’s wrong?”

She just shakes her head while staring at the ceiling.

“Y/N.” He caresses her cheek, urging her to look at him. “What’s the matter? Are you hurt? Did I go too—”

“We shouldn’t have done this. It was a mistake,” she says in a trembling voice.

“What are you talking about?”

She tries to sit up. Harry moves out of her way.

“I’m not ready, H. I’m not ready to have a baby.”

His face falls. “I— But— Then why did you say you were ready?”

“I don’t know… To make you happy?” She covers her face and hears him sigh heavily.

“Y/N, you can’t— You can’t lie about things like that just to make me happy. It’s not like we were deciding what to have for dinner. We’re talking about having a baby, for Christ’s sake.”

“I know that. Of course I know that. But I just— I see the disappointment in your face every time we talk about this, every time I tell you I’m not ready. You seem so sad, Harry. I hate it.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m not able to hide my emotions as well as I thought I could. That still doesn’t mean you should lie to please me. I thought we were past foolish antics like this.”

She squints at him. “Foolish antics?”

He sighs again. “I didn’t mean it like—”

She turns away from him and gets off the bed.

“Y/N.”

She shuts herself in the bathroom. For a brief moment, a part of her resents him. Resents him for being ready to have kids before she was. For bringing it up so often. For making her feel as though she needed to lie about being ready just to make him happy.

But now, as she stares at her teary-eyed reflection in the mirror, she knows she has to take responsibility. She is the one who led him to believe that she was ready when deep down, she knew she wasn’t. He never once pressured her to make up her mind or acted like he loved her any less for not wanting kids yet. He never made her feel any type of way about it. He has done nothing but be the supportive, understanding partner he’s always been. It was her who doubted that. She let her own paranoia get to her.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Y/N? Can I come in?”

A few moments later, he knocks again.

“Please, lovie? I’m getting worried.”

Finally, she opens the door. He takes in her red, puffy eyes and tentatively places his arms around her, only pulling her in when she steps into his embrace.

They stand there silently until he says, “Why don’t we head over to the pharmacy and get you a morning after pill?”

She agrees, so they get dressed and head out. The ride to the pharmacy is a quiet one. Every time she glances at Harry, his eyes are focused on the road, both hands gripping the steering wheel, and he appears deep in thought. It’s the complete opposite of their ride home from the party, when he could hardly keep his hands or his eyes off her. She tries to think of ways to break the silence, but nothing feels appropriate. The last time she felt so awkward and unsure about what to say around Harry was when they first started going out and she was terrified of saying the wrong thing.

When they get back from the pharmacy, she swallows down the pill with some water and they head back to bed.

***

Y/N: Hey H, you on your way home? Hope you’re hungry, I made your favourite for dinner 😊

H: I have a business dinner tonight. Mentioned it this morning

Y/N: Oh! Sorry I forgot about that. I’ll save some in the fridge for you for tomorrow

H: Sure, thanks

Y/N stares at the message. She can’t tell if she’s reading into things or if Harry’s replies really are as dry and aloof as they sound. Her propensity to overanalyze everything makes it difficult to know. Ever since the incident in the bedroom a few days ago, it feels as though Harry has been avoiding her. Spending long days at the studio, coming home late at night when he knows she’ll be asleep, giving short replies, taking longer to text back. They haven’t had sex again since then either.

After scrutinizing their text conversation for twenty minutes, she comes to her senses and realizes that she can’t keep going on like this. It’s driving her crazy. What she needs to do is talk to him. But he’ll most likely be tired when he gets home.

At first, she thinks she’ll sit him down tomorrow morning and talk it out. But when he walks through the front door just after eleven o’clock that night, she can’t help herself.

She stands in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a cup of tea, when he enters. The dark circles under his eyes are noticeable. He has been willing to sacrifice his sleep just to avoid being around her any longer than he has to. Her chest constricts.

“Hey,” he says, placing his phone and keys on the counter. “You’re still up.”

“Can’t sleep.” She stares down into her half-empty mug, the remainder of the tea quickly growing cold.

“How come?”

“I can’t stop thinking.”

“About…?”

She swallows the lump in her throat and looks up at him. “About whether or not you’re upset with me and how I can fix it.”

He frowns. “Why would I be upset with you?”

“Because of what happened a few nights ago.”

His frown dissolves into something different—sympathy? Guilt?

“Y/N, I’m not upset with you about that.”

“Are you sure? Because it seems like it. You’re gone before I’m even awake and you come home when I’m going to bed. We’ve barely talked or kissed or cuddled in the past few days. I know you haven’t been that busy since you got back from Sweden, so… I don’t really see any other explanation.”

He stares at her wordlessly for a long time before speaking. “You’re right. I have been avoiding you. But it’s not because I’m upset with you. It’s because I’m upset with myself. I feel like I pressured you into doing something you obviously weren’t comfortable with. I never saw myself as someone who pressures people into doing things they don’t want to do. So, I suppose I’ve been feeling some shame and guilt about it… and then avoiding you because it’s hard to face these feelings.”

Y/N sets her tea on the counter. She never could’ve guessed that Harry felt this way. She was so convinced that he was mad at her, it didn’t even occur to her that he might just be feeling guilty about it all. After how long she has known him, it should have been obvious that the latter is more consistent with his character, but her anxious brain wouldn’t even let her consider that possibility. She walks over and wraps her arms around him.

“H, I had no idea you felt that way.”

He squeezes her tightly, resting his chin on her head. She turns her head to the side so that her cheek is against his chest.

“To be honest, there were times I felt pressured when the topic of kids came up,” she says. “But a lot of that pressure was created by my own fears and insecurities. I just hated disappointing you over and over. I was scared your feelings about me, about us, would change if I kept saying I wasn’t ready.”

“This hasn’t changed how I feel about you or us. Y/N, I want you more than I want kids. Way more. If you decided one day that you don’t want them at all, that still wouldn’t change how I feel about you.”

She pulls back to look at him. “Are you sure? That’s a dealbreaker for a lot of people.”

“Well, not for me. Not when it comes to you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Suddenly, he lifts her up onto the counter and stands between her legs.

“So. What did you get up to today?” he asks, planting a kiss to her collarbone.

She rests her hands on his chest. “Hmm, what did I get up to? I hardly remember anything other than obsessing over this whole situation.” She laughs.

“Aw, lovie, I’m sorry I had you all stressed out.”

“It’s okay.”

“Maybe I can make it up to you. Help you relieve all that stress.” He peppers kisses along the side of her neck and jaw.

She sighs softly and closes her eyes. “I would like that.”

***

Thank you for reading! For more anxious!reader and other fics, check out my MASTERLIST

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x you #harry styles fic #harry styles writing #harry styles x y/n #harry styles oneshot #anxious!reader #my writing

[yantalia545]

Can we get a part two for your motherly s/o? Except this time with the nations that have/had kid colonies. And the dynamic they have is a teamwork between a romantic yandere (Britain, France, Spain) and a platonic yandere(America, Canada, Romano).

They met when the chibi got lost and she helped them get back to their caretakers. But the chibi got attached to her so she decided to visit them when she has time. But as years go by both father and son are getting uncomfortably clingy towards her, her motherly nature filled in the absence left by the father and her concerned and nurturing nature for the adults made some days easier for them that they can't help but fall in love with her. It reached to the point where they really believed that she is their mother/wife and scared away anyone who dare tried to take her away from them. Even when the chibi grew up and is independent, he still supports his former caretaker.

"She's my/his wife, she just doesn't know it yet"

This one made my head spin @~@. So many ways to go about this.

May need to make a husband vs husband post after this. What do you guys think?

England:

England is a bit of a hardhead and a little hard to get along with at first, but he'll come along and appreciate your efforts eventually.

For a little while, when you first started coming around with America, he was a little jealous of you. England has never taken care of anyone before, but you seem to be able to do it with ease. He most likely will throw you out the first handful of times you come around just because he won't admit that he doesn't exactly know what he's doing and needs help. Only after America throws constant tantrums for you to come back will England finally put his ego to the side and call you back.

England is used to others being cocky and even very passive-aggressive around him, so when you first walked in the door and you gave him a long hug, he was very caught off guard. He even treated you horribly. Why are earth are you wing so kind to him?

America on the other hand, couldn’t have been happier to finally see you around again. He had someone else who would play with him. If you can keep up with him too, all the better.

Fairly quickly after that whole endeavor, America grew close to you. England was a very busy man and had lots of things that needed his constant attention. It was nice to have you around to fill in when England couldn’t be around. Not to mention, you were a little more easy-going than him too. America just felt more at ease when you were around. England wasn’t yelling at him as much. You made England softer and kinder towards him.

It was nice. To England, it was almost like you were married. Like a family. That world never failed to flutter England; family. You guys were a family. A real family. Finally, just like he’s always wanted. Unlike his nasty brothers that were always so rude to him. He had you; the glue to it all.

As America become older and started fights over independence, things began to grow tense. England was terrified of the feeling that his perfect family was beginning to fall apart. What was worse, you supported it. You tired to argue that America was grown now but England was too stubborn to let his family go.

England fought tooth and nail to preserver his family, but in the end, America still managed to get away from him and gain his freedom. That’s when things took a turn for the worse for you.

You betrayed him. You supported America leaving and because of your help, America managed to break away from him and gain his independence. You may be America’s mother, but you’re still his wife. You’re supposed to support him above all others.

You will be punished for this and England will be very snappy but also clingy to you for a while. Don’t hold it against him though, it was all your fault for breaking apart his family.

At one point, America will try to step in between the two of you out of concern. England has shown some dark sides of hisself thought out their time in war and was afraid for you safety. Knowing England for many years himself, America just knows that England is up to some terrible things when it involves you. Especially when he’s well aware of England’s affections for you.

The two will most likely fight often over you. Bickering in meetings especially.

“Why isn’t (y/n) allowed to come meetings anymore!?”

“Has anyone else been able to contact (y/n) yet?! Or is she just yours!”

These are all true, you haven’t been present in meetings in years and anytime someone tried to contact you, England will throw a fit and forbid you from responding to them. They’ll poison your mind and take you away from him. England’s already lost his brothers and son, he won’t lose his wife too.

The dynamic between these two is serious competition. Your son, America, will do anything he can to protect you while your husband, England, will do whatever it takes to keep what’s left of his family with him.

France:

France already had a good handle on being a good parent. Not to mention that Canada is a much easier child to handle than America is. However, France is still over the fence at the thought of you wanting to join his family.

With you around, his family is complete just like France has always wanted. Countries can produce children like regular humans can, so this was the best next thing. He, like England, has been dreaming for this moment. A family to call their own.

France will often brag about how wonderful his family is now that you're here. Especially to England just to rub in his face. France just couldn't be happier with you here. No one is going to take this euphoric feeling away from him.

You thought he was just being funny, but to France, he was serious. Ever since...you know who, he's dreamed of having a wife and a family to call his own, as I've mentioned before.

You'd go along with the joke, thinking that he was just being France. That was until France began to invest in your relationship.

It started off small and you ignored or played into them for Canada. Holding Canada's hand together, singing the little nation to sleep. Even cooking together was all things that you were doing for Canada's sake, not his. You didn't mind if they helped France out too . You wanted to lighten his burden as a caretaker. That was until things started to get a little too uncomfortable for you.

France had tried to kiss you on his way out the door. Luckily, he only managed to kiss your cheek when you turned away from him. You didn't wish to alarm Canada as you knew he was a nervous nelly, so you knew you'd have a discussion with France when Canada was asleep tonight.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. You should have just run. Called England up to watch Canada and ran that day, because when France came home that night, it would be already too late.

He was having a secret meeting with your bosses today. Well, it wasn't intended to be a dirty secret. It was meant to be a surpise. France had decided a long time ago that he was going to marry you. Today was the day he'd finally put it all into place.

With a smile on his face and the most beautiful ring he could find, France practically skipped home that day. Excited to ask you the big question. France was a little worried about you avoiding his kiss that morning, but he pushed it to the side as just morning brain. If just a kiss can get you so nervous just wait until he tells you the big news.

When you rejected his proposal, he was shocked. What do you mean you don't love him? Isn't that why you lived here? To join his family?

No. No. No. No. NO! He won't have it. You do love him! France knows you do. You're just nervous and confused but don't worry, France will be a good fiance and husband and take care of you every step of the way. It's not like you can really say no when your boss already signed the papers.

Canada will be confused as he suddenly sees you less and less. Where did you go? What does France mean by needing to "heal" you? Are you sick? While France has his hands full with conditioning you he won't have a lot of time to spend with Canada. Being that he doesn't receive attention from others, this will impact Canada greatly. He'll start to cling to you more when you are allowed out. Unknowingly pushing the idea that your defiance is only hurting the family.

Spain:

Little Romano is quite the handful, so when you came around to offer your help Spain was more than happy to accept. If only Romano would behave himself and not catcall you.

What is he to do about that boy. :')

To Spain's surprise, he does see Romano settling down at some point during your visit. Romano just can't act tough forever. Not when you're pampering him like no other. Spain almost couldn't believe it when he saw Romano curled up against your side while you slowly pat his head. Careful not to touch his precious curl. Your voice was so beautiful as you sang a soft tune from your homeland. Romano was blissfully listening with a soft smile; Nealy asleep.

That day, you looked so heavenly in Spain's eyes. Like a goddess who tamed a wild beast. He almost couldn't believe that this wouldn't last forever. You would have to go home eventually as you were only a visitor.

If only there was a way you three could stay like this forever.

After that, Spain made sure to invite you over all the time. With the help of a fussy Romano who just wouldn't calm down until he saw you again, you spend an enormous amount of time at Spain's house. Much to their delight.

Whenever you were around, Spain could delve into his fantasy about being a happy family and Romano could have something that his stupid younger brother can never take away from him.

Despite Romano's hard exterior, he really is just a scared little child who was hurt by the abandonment of Rome and the overshadowing of his preppier brother, Italy. All he ever wanted was to feel seen and wanted. You were perfect.

You never once compared him to Italy or picked on him. You were always so calm and gentle but knew just how to put him back in his place. (You are quite terrifying when tempered). For that, Romano holds a lot of respect for you that carries on into his adulthood. He most definitely sees you like a mom. His mom. Not his brothers; Just his.

Spain is more than happy to use Romano's perspective of you to his advantage. If Romano sees you as his mom, then that must mean that you're also his wife. The three of you are a little, happy family.

Being a loving country, it doesn't really take Spain too long to propose to you. He was just so certain that you were dying to say yes. When you mention that you only see Spain as a friend and that you were only looking to help with Romano it shatters him. What do you mean you don't love him? Isn't that why you come around so often?

Spain takes your rejection very harshly. His mind just won't stop spinning with all these nagging questions and insecurities. Could you be seeing someone else? Taking care of another person's child?

This won't hold well for you. Spain most likely will be taken over by his rolling thoughts and lock you in his basement until you reconsider. He doesn't want to scare Romano, so he'll tell him lies about you and that this is all normal between couples. Romano will be too young to understand that what Spain is doing is really wrong. Besides, he does want you you stay with him too. Romano can't risk losing his mom.

#yandere hetalia #hetalia #yandere england #yandere france #yandere spain

[ladythornofrivia]

big milk

pair: suguru geto x reader

genre: fluff and smut

Daddy!Suguru, knows how to make you feel good. From the moment he met you through the dating website, he knew you aren’t an innocent woman. You knew what you needed in a man, and he gave his all. The moment he met you with pink backless dress, he knew he had to take you with him. With his status as a cult leader, he had the advantage on using monkeys—by using curse—to do the work for him. With his leader status, he wanted nothing more than spending more time with you.

Daddy!Suguru, who is known to be as a womanizer, recalled how Suguru is equally as popular as Gojo Satoru how he easily manipulated girls to get the satisfaction he yearned. Rumor has it, he’s known to be good at cunninlingus. Each time a girl pass by him, Suguru made sure to taste a moist flesh, inviting him in with open legs.

Daddy!Suguru, is known to be an attentive man, paying attention to tiny details, even with tiny details made it significant and important for the person he interacted with. More importantly, the certain people he’s interested in. If he dislikes someone, he wouldn’t show a reason to be inclined with curiosity. Everything about monkeys aren’t special. With empty words toned with innocence, it isn’t likely he’ll spare them. Monkeys bored him to death. But when it comes to you, the narrative on his beliefs changed.

Daddy!Suguru, an older man in his mid-thirties, felt like a young man once again each time he saw you. His heart elated each time you spewed out words, whether it’s about seeing a cute pet, or talking to a child with a gifted talent. You adore children. As a teacher, it was a bonus, even when talking to children with disability to make sure they feel loved and cared for, to be seen and included, despite the teacher’s efforts is normally supposed to be strictly professional.

Daddy!Suguru, who hated adult monkeys, one thing he had in common with you, is that he also love children. Rescuing the girls from the village and killed at the villagers is worth the price to be paid for by the cost of his sanity to go berserk. He hated adult monkeys, he hated adult monkeys who kept repeating themselves to how children are monsters. Children are supposed to be nurtured and protected and encouraged. Riko’s death is the reason he chose a different path. If there was a way to repair the past, he could, but seeing it as a futile wish, Suguru made sure you’re under protection, as well. In his eyes, you weren’t a monkey. You’re a perfect angel that needs to be entrusted with care.

Daddy!Suguru, often visits the school you worked at, and often showered you with gifts, which lead to surprising you with chocolate chip cookies—your favorite. You missed the homemade cookies, and Suguru, took the opportunity to learn and bake the recipe. All the ladies, your co-workers are filled with jealousy. You were nearly harmed by them. Suguru, who’s good at body language, planned an execution, but fearing of your reaction to what he’s capable of, he chose to warn them, instead.

Daddy!Suguru, bought you the best clothes and the bouquet, adorn your bashful expression. Even now, you’re still a forbidden fruit that urged him to taste you, your lips, your skin, your thighs. And in between your legs.

Daddy!Suguru, who made another visit to the school, seeing you attending to the child’s injury from playing carelessly at the school playground. You cooed and hushed the crying child while carrying him into your arms, singing a funny song. The pouted child stopped crying and began to giggle, flailing as you tickled his belly with your manicured nails. Suguru imagined you, carrying his child, a perfect combination of his handsomeness and a maturity of your feminine features and gracious mannerism, he wanted nothing more but to put a ring on your finger.

Daddy!Suguru, thought of you, day to night, of wanting to put the seed into your belly. He thought of the sentimental and intimate moments with you, impregnated with a flushed, glowing skin and a cute pudgy cheekbones with your breasts filled with milk.

Daddy!Suguru, who invited you into his house, with homemade dinner, you’re enamored with his secret talent—cooking meals, whether it’s a meal from a foreign country or not, your stomach is contained with tingling sensation as your tongue prickling at the spices and sweetness. You thought of becoming a parent, each time to go to work and teach the children, you thought and envisioned of what your future child is going to be like, what your future is going to look like. At one point, you hoped for your child to take charismatic and lovable character from your sugar daddy. Suguru has been on your mind, day and night, from work to home, you had a vibrator tucked inside the drawer. But whenever Suguru has a busy schedule, you pleasured yourself until reposing.

Daddy!Suguru, who noticed your sheepish state, decided to tease you while you’re washing the dishes. His hands slithered under your top, fondling your breasts as you emitted a sigh arousing at his cold fingertips. With a smirk, Suguru’s other hand dipped inside your skirt and circled your clit. The dishes had been forgotten, the water was still running, and your shaky hand barely touched the faucet.

“Ah,” you exclaimed, eyes shutting tight. “I’m washing the dishes.”

Daddy!Suguru, who looked at you with a smirk, humming as his lips pressed against the back of your neck. “You’ve been working so hard. From meeting me to taking care of the kids in school.”

Your face contorted with bliss.

“I can’t help but to see your belly grow with a child inside—my child.”

Your face pivoted, facing him with haze look in your eyes.

“Your eyes screamed, “Fuck me, Daddy.” Do you want to be fuck by Daddy?” Suguru deepened his kiss with his tongue shoved into your mouth as his hand yanked the top and bra, revealing one breast as the water kept running in the kitchen. Suguru, without pulling his attention away from you a heated kiss, his hand tapped the faucet off, lips still against yours. With a droning hum, your hand reached to his tightened crotch, stroking it.

Daddy!Suguru, who caught a noticeable response from you, who is sheepish and reserved, Suguru carried you in one swift and placed you over the clean kitchen counter, circling your clit with his fingers. Sighing, you held onto his back, clawing with your manicured nails as his attired stripped off to his own accord. Nibbling your lips and collarbone, he took off his yukata, hungrily molded his thirsting mouth onto yours. Your hand absentmindedly snaked and cradled his head, earning a gleeful hum thrumming from his throat.

Daddy! Suguru, wouldn’t make his time go to waste; his and your bodies melded into one, thrusting his hardened cock into you as the kitchen utensils clanged and banged. Your breasts bounced and flopped at every sharp movement Suguru summoned. As he reached his climax, his teeth bit onto the skin of your neck, growling with pleasure as his seed spurted inside your tightened hole. Quiet air is filled with rasps, Getou’s splayed against your belly, warm and soft, as he watched his cum flowed. With the last vigor, he used up his last energy on his thick fingers pumping into your wet folds, receiving a tired groan from you. That’s how it should be—his big milk—hot seed flowing into you, Suguru hoping he would have children of his own, roaming around the house, he wouldn’t having many children, hoping you’d carry more and more. After all, you’re a benign and winsome deity in his eyes.

“Hope you enjoy the big milk I gave you,” Suguru said with a smirk.

© kinglsk - all rights reserved.

report if anyone decides to plagiarize/steal my work and notify me. Thank you.

Taglist: @galactict3a @colored-tr-panels @slay0368

#fanfiction #fanfic #x reader #reader insert #reader #writer #writers of tumblr #my writing #fanfics #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu geto #jjk geto #getou suguru x reader #geto suguru #getou suguru smut #smut #fluff #jjk smut #jujutsu sorcerer #anime fanfic #drabbles #one shot #anime #manga #ao3 writer #ao3 #anime and manga

[deviljayman]

The Nailer (Fantasy Short Story)

It was late into the night, or for some, very early in the morning. The sky was dark, the moon hung low as it began to let the sun take over. The captain was up, of course; he never slept much anyway. The waves were calm, but they never stayed calm for long. He needed to be there to keep them on course for the mainland. It was a good thing he knew the way by heart cause there was no way he could do it by sight with it this dark out. It was oddly darker than usual. 

“Captain!” One of the crewmates called. The young sailor jogged over to his superior. 

“This best be good, Sören, I’m keeping us straight, and I’ll have your head if we get held back any further.”

“Well then, I’m not sure you’re gonna like this Cap; we’ve got a stowaway.” 

The captain spun around so fast that Sören was sure the ship might turn with him. “I’m not in the mood for this.”

“Captain, you're never in the mood for anything.”

“You’re damn right I’m not, now show me this stowaway so I can give them a beating.”

Sören tumbled down the stairs, the captain following quickly behind him. They went below deck, the creaky wooden interior being lit up by dim lantern light. They made their way to the middle of the ship, where a makeshift mess room was. Inside there was the last crew member, Caspar, as well as a short hooded figure who was currently tied down to a chair. 

“There you are, captain. I caught the little bastard.” Caspar said. “He didn’t make it easy, might have broken my nose.” His nose, in fact, was broken, currently being snapped back into place incorrectly. 

“Alright then, who the hell is sneaking on my ship.” The captain stomped over, ripping off the figure’s hood. Under the hood was a boy, no older than fifteen. He had short, stark white hair, amber eyes, and a scar that ran across his nose. 

“A boy? The hell are you doing here you little twirp?!” The captain bellowed.

The boy spoke. “I needed to get to the mainland, you all seemed oblivious so I hopped on. I thought I was right, you all hadn’t noticed me for a few weeks up till now.”

“You best watch your tongue unless you want to swim the rest of the way.” The captain threatened. The boy didn’t say anything, instead starting with a scowl that matched the captain’s.

“These things were on him, captain.” Caspar handed him a small bag, no bigger than his fist. 

The captain poured out the bag’s contents onto the table, revealing a small hammer, three nails, and a small iron symbol of a raven. He looked them over before looking at the child, “You some kind of carpenter?” he asked.

“No, that would be a waste of good iron. I’m a Nailer.”

The captain laughed at the idea. “Aren’t you a bit old to be believing fairytales? Besides, you're younger than any Nailer I’ve ever heard of.” 

“I get that a lot; I’d hope the symbol is proof enough.”

“You could have forged it.”

“That would be a waste.”

“Well, you seem to like to do that, as you’re wasting my time. Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t throw you off my boat.” The captain stated, gesturing in the direction of the plank. 

“Adults are meant to care for children.” the boy said blankly. 

“Do I look like the nurturing kind?”

“I suppose not, you seem like the kind to sell children rather than care for them.”

“I sell lumber boy; the wood doesn’t talk back to me like children do.”

“Well how about this? You should keep me on because you need a Nailer.”

“And why exactly will I be needing a boy playing make believe?” 

“Because you have a Ghoul following your ship.”

“Quit with your tall tales; those things are just myths.” 

“They’re only myths because most of the people who could prove them real are dead. You know the stories, don’t you?”

“Sure I do, creatures of death who consume the living. Heard them all the time when I was young, meant to keep ones your age behaved and in bed.”

“Then I’m sure you’re aware of the signs. Night blacker than black, late when most are asleep, leading the people away from anyone who could help. Look around, the signs are all around you.”

The two crewmates looked at each other a bit worried. Sören spoke up. “The fog has been pulling us away from the mainland, Cap. I might be speaking out of turn, but the kid’s making sense.”

The captain looked at his crew. “Don’t let him spook ya lads! He’s just blabbering to get out of trouble, he’s a boy after all.” The captain explained. “But I am feeling merciful, so tell me kid, what’s your name?”

“That’s my name.” he said blankly.

“What is?”

“Kid, my name is Kid.” 

“That’s your name? Why the hell would someone name you Kid?”

“People usually name people after what they want them to be. I’ve met a dozen people named Captain, although at least half preferred bars to ships.”

“What does that say about you then?” 

“A lot I’m sure, but I don’t care to explore that.”

“Fair enough.” 

“Alright then, I should get to work soon before-”

In the instance each person in the room let their guard down, a new figure appeared. To call it humanoid would be laughable, but there weren’t many better ways to describe it. It seemed to be made of glass, but it didn’t reflect any light. Any light that touched it was eaten up by it, leaving the area around it dark despite the torch light. The creature was shaped like a human but parts were missing. It was missing its stomach, the top and bottom halves being connected by a thin spiral. 

Kid saw it first, then Captain, then Casper; Sören was not as lucky. The creature grabbed his neck and arm, they processed his presence for a moment before the creature pulled him outside at speeds none but Kid could comprehend. They first heard a scream, then a leathery snap. 

“Sören!” Casper yelled, running to help him. 

Kid leaped to his feet, his bindings easily falling away. Before Casper could jump out the door, Kid grabbed his arm, pulling him inside. 

“He’s dead!” Kid proclaimed. “Unless you want to join him, don't just rush into danger like an idiot.”

“How’d you get untied?” the captain asked.

“I untied myself around the time we were discussing your trade. You’re easy to distract, and he’s not good at tying knots.” Kid gestured to Caspar. 

The captain smiled. “Tricky boy. Alright Nailer, how are we going to take care of that there ghoulie that snapped my shiphand like a twig?”

“Well, you two aren’t going to be doing anything. Ghouls are Nailer business. However, I can make sure you two don’t die like your friend.” 

Quickly, Kid took his things from the table, fixing the nails to his belt and the symbol to his chest. He looked around the cramped room and grabbed a wet sponge. He broke it up into pieces, handing some over to the captain and Caspar.

“Put these in your ears. These kinds of Ghouls like to play games, the best way to win is to not play. Don’t listen to anything they say, block them out.”

They did as Kid said, Caspar a bit more reluctantly. As they all did, the sound surrounding them faded for the most part. The only sounds bouncing around their eardrums being soapy water and mushy foam. Kid inched slowly to the entrance, looking out to the pitch black night. It was quiet, not a sign of the Ghoul in sight. Kid moved his leg to a bucket, kicking it to the outside. As it hit the deck, the Ghoul appeared, driving its blade-like arm straight through the bucket. 

Kid didn’t let a moment pass, he took one of his nails and with his hammer, he launched it at the Ghoul. It was ready however, using the bucket to block the nail; two nails left. The Ghoul launched itself toward him, swiping at Kid with its left arm. He ducked, using his small size to slide under the creature. With his hammer he hit the Ghoul’s leg, causing it to fall down on its back. Kid shot up quickly, launching another nail aimed at the creature’s head. But the Ghoul was quick, disappearing from the ground as the nail embedded itself into the deck; one nail left. It got behind Kid, landing a heavy blow to his upper back. He was thrown across the deck and hit the ship’s railing. At the moment of impact, the sponges dislodged from his ears, sound now flooding his head. 

He rose to his feet, facing the creature’s voice circling him. He’d have to fight on the Ghoul’s terms. 

“What has a neck but no head?” it asked.

He considered for a moment before saying. “A bottle.” “Wrong! The answer is you!”

Kid felt a cut forming around the top of his neck—an invisible blade trying to sever his head from his neck. He threw himself to the side, the railing behind him being reduced to splinters. He didn’t get out uninjured, a moment longer and the riddle would have been true. 

The Ghoul started to charge Kid, but it was stopped by a bottle smashing against his head. 

“I say the answer be bottle ghoulie!” the captain cried. 

The Ghoul dashed toward the captain aiming to stab him through the heart. Its blade met flesh, but not the captain’s. Caspar jumped in the way to shield the captain. Kid saw an opening, launching his final nail at the Ghoul. This time it didn’t have time to move, the nail met its mark and pierced into the forehead of the creature. However, the Ghoul’s skull was thicker than Kid thought, the nail had not made it to the creature’s core. 

The creature spun around and dove for Kid’s heart faster than ever before. He managed to move—not enough to dodge, but enough to not be killed. The blade went in between his ribs, pinning him to the wall of the ship. 

“Your soul will taste good, Nailer!” the creature sounded.

The ghoul’s left hand ripped open, a toothy hooked tongue hissing out of the maw. It reached its hand toward Kid, but when it the tongue reached him he bit it. The Ghoul howled, its exposed flesh now taking damage for the first time. Kid pulled and ripped the tongue from out of its maw, spitting out black blood and pus. He grabbed the back of the Ghoul’s head and crashed his own against it, driving the nail fully into its skull. The glass Ghoul cracked and fractured, its essence leaking through the cracks. The thing reached out to Kid, as if trying to use the last of its time on this earth to choke the life out of the one who ended it. But it stopped inches away from his throat, motionless and dead.

The captain walked over, ignoring Kid, to kick over the Ghoul’s corpse which shattered upon impact with the deck.

“That’s what ya get for causing trouble on my ship, ya fairytale bastard!” he cheered. 

Kid dragged himself to his feet. “I’m fine, thank you for asking.” he grunted. 

“I thought I told you boy, I’m not the nurturing kind.”

“Not the mourning kind either it seems, did your crew not mean much to you?”

“Not particularly, Caspar made that choice himself. I didn't ask him to do anything. Sure helped you deal with that bastard.”

“His death wasn’t in vain, at least.”

Kid sat down nursing his wounds, most still open and bleeding. Inside the wounds strange purple plants seemed to spring out and grab at the wound. Like needles through cloth, the plants pull at the tender flesh and start to close the wounds. After a short while, Kid’s wounds are mended.

The captain stares at Kid. “What the hell are you?”

Kid looks up. “I already told you, I’m a Nailer.”

#writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #fiction writing #creative writing #original writing #fantasy writing #short story

[solterel]

Okay since no one is talking about it I will. I think there is a whole another layer of messed up when looking at the whole Grimwalker situation. So let me explain:

So far we don’t have too much information on the whole Grimwalker process and how Belos even found out it was possible in the first place. So you may be wondering! What could make this crusty puritan wrinkly balls old man even worse? Well, it’s the fact that he likely raised each and every golden guard from “ birth “ and then watched them die when they ended up betraying him. And I use betray lightly, however, I’m going to come back to that later.

So far we can assume that there as been over 15 versions of the golden guard/clones of Philip’s brother. This means he raised 20 children himself,( to make things simpler I’m going to round up and assume that all made it to or close to adulthood ) Because the Emperor’s coven was only established 50 years before the start of the show that means that before he became emperor he was taking personal care of/looking after each clone. So you can’t really say that he was just pushing them onto someone else and only taking an interest within them once they became old to enough to be useful. It’s common sense, by making himself the only adult/parental figure in their lives, he would be alienating the clones and making them solely loyal and dependent on him due to them not knowing any different.

He had to be something to them. How many stories did he tell of a broken or dead family, how many lies did he tell of who he was to them? An older brother? A father, distant relative, maybe an uncle? There had to be some emotion attachment, some bond that tied them together apart from isolation. Otherwise why would the clones stay loyal? Inklings of kindness, of course, only when they did something right, something that pleased him, after-all, he was family and he took them in out of his grace.

It’s the fact he likely named all of them, held them, took care of them, taught them. This is not me trying to portray Belos in a sympathetic light, but only to demonstrate how much a horrible monster he is. Because even if they were his family, that was never enough to save them from the tortured fates they met at his hands. Someone who was supposed to love them unconditionally, at the bare minimum care for them in some capacity, ended each and every life he made.

And this made me wonder, what did the clones do to make Belos think they deserved such fates? How did Belos come to suddenly decide this, and not only do it once, but over and over again? I think back to what the Collector said, about how Belos probably likes to destroy them. What if he was looking for an excuse to kill them? To take out in built up resentment and anger upon them over small transgressions? This leads me to this:

Belos was likely using each one as a replacement for his brother, trying, over and over again to create the perfect version of him. However, none of them met his expectations. He wanted the perfect brother who wouldn’t betray him, the one he remembered, and they didn’t fit. So when the time was right he found an excuse to kill them off, replace them with another and try again. Even if he did raise them, nurture them, he murdered them all in cold blood. The clones probably loved Belos, or at least cared for him deeply, and in more dark sense, saw him as their father.

So essentially the part that makes the Hollow Mind reveal entirely all the worse was that Belos was essentially the only parental figure/father figure in their lives and raised all of the Golden Guard clones by himself to adulthood, only to later slaughter them every time.

Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, this is just some of my thoughts strewn together incoherently but I just wanted to point this out. Also I didn’t see anyone talking about this. So just to emphasize the point. Dusty Puritan Bitch basically killed all of his kids repeatedly.

#toh #the owl house #toh belos #toh philip #toh hunter #grimwalker #the golden guard #analysis I guess?? #I hope Belos goes to the human realm and gets hit by a bus just like the end of the smurfs movie #hollow mind #toh season 2

[elderemorune]

Self-Care and the Act of Healing

So it likely comes as no surprise to anyone who comes across this tiny Internet hovel I've squirreled away in that I don't have the greatest relationship with my mental health. Some days we're great, but that's not a very common occurrence for me. Most often we're on neutral ground, not shooting each other but uh, if negotiations don't go well, who knows?

For months now, I've been in that weird neutral standoff that's bordering on a firefight with myself.

I've blamed a lot of it on my parents. I mean, it's easy, right? They taught me to be the way I am, and that's why I'm so damn miserable. They taught me to sacrifice as much of myself as possible to keep everyone around me happy. Walk on eggshells around your dad or he'll scream at you. Do what dad asks or he'll beat you. Accept whatever punishment you're given because you're a bad child, even if we know your sister lied to us just to get you in trouble.

And that shit's hard to let go of.

Almost two years ago, my father apologized to me for being a bad dad. He was in therapy then, and doing the work. Part of his work was to be generous and kind with no expectations tied to those two things, or at least that's what he said. So he signed onto a loan with my wife and I for a car. At the time, I told him I was willing to forgive him if he kept doing the work his therapist told him he needed to do.

My mom's never apologized to me directly for not being present or even really trying to keep me safe from dad. As far as she's concerned, she did her best. She taught me to be cautious, anxious, to anticipate dad's needs and to apologize frequently even if I didn't do anything wrong. This was her way of protecting me, was giving me this Atlas complex, this need to take care of everyone and everything before ever even thinking about taking care of myself.

And honestly, I'm not sure what the bigger disservice was.

But does blame even have to be levied against them?

It's a difficult concept, just allowing them to be people. I used to think my dad was a hero, and that my mom was the greatest because at least I had a home and clothes and food, which is more than many of my friends had. At least I wasn't dealing with the kinds of things my wife was, with a stepmom who hated her, a mom and dad who both didn't want to be parents, and a racist stepdad, all tossing her back and forth between houses because none of them could be responsible adults.

But that's the bare fucking minimum, isn't it?

Parents are supposed to take care of their kids. They're supposed to clothe, feed, and house them, to nurture them until it's time to go be grownups. I mean, obviously in addition to that, parents find new and fascinating ways to fuck their kids up, but that's an inevitability of existence too.

I think what I'm getting at is that I don't blame my parents for me dealing with this shit now, but goddamn does it suck, and I'm sorry they couldn't help me more.

I've made some decisions about my life recently, big ones, about who I want to be and where I want to go and what I want to do, and a huge part of that process was deciding who I can have in my life. I can't have my folks around anymore. I can't deal with the negativity, the judgement, the constant "are you sure?". I just don't think I can keep them in my life for all that much longer.

#blog #journal #childhood trauma

[winns-stuff]

Something about LO that's never sat right with me was... I'm not sure how to say it, but it's lack of identity? Like, obviously there's heavy ddlg themes with Hades and Persephone. From Rachel's concept art to the comic frames themselves. And despite taking the dynamic too literal (making Persephone a teen and Hades middle aged, improper power dynamics, etc), there's nothing fundamentally wrong with that trope. Doms and subs are consensual, even in every day life. But my problem is, instead of having mature adults in this setting with this dynamic, Rachel somehow also wants to make it a coming of age story with feminine empowerment? Showing Persephone doing buissness for her mother, hyping her up as the dread queen, etc, yet making her useless whenever her love intrest is on screen. Not to say H and P can't be equals, but it always walks such a fine line of 'yes, this woman is the bad bitch, EXCEPT when it comes to her screen time.' Boiling H and P down, they seem so shallow. Sure, there's the friendly banter in previous episodes (thinking back to the chess game), but there's nothing tying the twos stability together. Persephone mostly seems to be lavishing in Hades body/money. Buying flashy outfits, lusting over his abs (I'm not counting 'Pers made her own money in the mortal realm by taking up Demeter's place' because we didn't see it and its never used again). Again, being a sugar baby is fine, but empty promises of 'tell don't show' makes it seem empty. Pers is supposed to be the queen of the underworld, and yet she wasnt present at all while Hades went to speak to Kronos? Didn't even know about it? Playing with sticky notes? Really? And with Hades, it's a mix of lust and emotional trama. He sees Persephone as a caretaker. Maybe not physically, but in the relationship, Persephone is the one whos literally compared to his own mother. Someone who's kind, nurturing, the embodiment of motherly. As long as Hades pays for everything (like he was doing with Minthe), he gets the perks of coddling. Besides that, what common interests do the two share? They both run buissness? Pers isn't working alongside Hades for buissness, aka Kronos. Thats legit the only reason I can think of. Pers can care less about the mortal realm, Hades sees the underworld more as a wallet than a realm of passion. It boils down to the show don't tell point. 'ill add spesifics to show that you're WRONG (Pers having her own place)! But now that I've won, I don't ever have to show it again! (Pers lack of independence being shown in the rest of the comic).'

Yeah, honestly LO feels like it doesn’t exactly care about the actual character development and storyline. There’s a reason why romance related movies, shows, and books have something to offer the reader other than romance. If you just have two characters always coming together no matter what with little to no development at all except for their shared shallow views of how the world works for over 100 episodes many people will get tired. There’s a reason why slow burns are so loved, because once the characters actually see the other romantically the audience and readers start to feel rewarded, they’ve waited this whole time and have been patient with the climaxes of the story for so long and now their patience is paying off, and they finally get to see their ship sail. With LO it’s like it tries to create some sort of slow burn tension but it’s all ruined because it’s not actual tension. There’s nothing keeping HxP from happening, they could be together completely no matter what without any other obstacles if they want but Rachel continues to drag it out as if Hades and Persephone just can’t possibly be together. She’s been doing this for a while now and it’s reasonable why people are no longer there for their romance anymore, it’s not written in a way that there’s a reward. You don’t get a reward for your patience, there’s nothing that you’re waiting for so you just feel empty the entire time you’re reading.

I’m very over LO being marketed as a feminist story though. Don’t get me wrong I’m utterly and completely a feminist, I support women until it’s clear that I shouldn’t (and no, that doesn’t mean I just blindly trust women either that sentence just means that if there’s a situation where it’s a crime against a woman, I’m going to side with her if there’s not obvious evidence that she either manipulated the situation, lied, or was the aggressor in the crime) but I absolutely see nothing aligning to feminism with LO. It’s honestly criminal how little the comic has to do with feminism, I feel like it got put in there because a woman was the “main character”. But it’s just depressing how LO is getting all of this fame for this so called feminist retelling yet there’s way better feminist driven stories out there. You know how many female main characters there are on webtoon who have depth, complexity, actual power, and other amazing qualities being showcased on webtoon in their own respective comics? I feel like everyone hates to say it so I will but because of the decline in storytelling and overall art of LO I feel like it’s time to at least congratulate people who still have passion for their work. I know writing webtoons are stressful, I hate even saying this cause I feel like I’m undermining Rachel’s work but it’s getting to a point where I don’t see as much effort anymore. I just wish more people were able to have their work appreciated, it’s not fair to them.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo

[casspurrjoybell-22]

Master - Chapter 29c

*Warning: Adult Content*  

Ythene crafted the Nyphilims before any of her other creatures. 

They helped her forge the many sectors of our realm. 

When the rest of Elven kind came to be, the Nyphilims were meant to keep the balance throughout all species in our Realm, they were the peacekeepers and death's reapers.

They're many worlds in our Realm, many prides and many species, all with different ways of life.

The Realm is exceeding old and after centuries of witnessing the Realm's inhabitants grow only to fall, the Nyphilims decided amongst themselves that change needed to happen.

Their change, in the beginning, was helpful and seen to be needed at the time. 

They nurtured our magic and helped perfect species relations. 

It didn't take long for the realm, as a whole, to make leaps and bounds in all fields when we all operated as one entity. 

Elven. 

However, it is said that the Nyphilims' control began to play into areas it shouldn't, areas they weren't needed and weren't supposed to interfere with. 

Things like population control and cultures, they were killing the young for species they believed were too plentiful and changing practices within certain colonies to feed their model of Ythene's realm. 

It fed too much into their other half, their darker, demonic traits and slowly, they forgot their foremost roles. 

There was no more reasoning to their killings and the lands became nothing but bloodshed and darkness. 

A revolution came to play, the Nyphilims against all Elven creatures. 

We lost so many to their power. 

Billions died from their hands and billions more would've died, if Ythene hadn't step in. 

In every Elven pride, every colony and every species, Ythene awarded the best of her warriors with a weapon forged with the same power she used to make the Nyphilims. 

We killed them all. 

The role of peacekeepers and death keepers were reassigned to the best suited members of every species and peace and nourishment has been prevalent throughout the Realm ever since.”

I could feel everyone's eyes on me and I knew they were all looking at me through new eyes.

Eyes that were showing me as a mean, terrible person, as if I suddenly represented everything Arias just told them about my kind.

I wanted to tell them that I wasn't like that in any way, that I was just Kalem but I couldn't because it would be a lie.

I was one of the people Arias spoke about even if I didn't want to be.

So I bite my lip to keep myself silent and stared at my fingers that seemed so small now.

"I think one escaped with Kalem and ensured that he was hidden here on Earth by what I hope was the last of that Nyphilim's power," Arias adds gently but I keep my eyes on my shaking fingers.

"Kalem is very young for a Nylphim, his age in Elven years would put him as a babe during the war but whatever magic was used to bind him in this form, bound his growth as well."

"So he's not eighteen?" Arias' Malcolm asks.

"I'd say that he is slightly older in terms of the years he's actually lived consciously," Arias supplies easily.

"But the war was centuries ago, he's actually much older, he simply wasn't necessarily conscious for them."

"So what, he was asleep for centuries?" Master asks disbelievingly.

"Entry to and from Ythene's Realm is closely monitored. Our advancements as a society with the Nyphilims and post-war have been massive and we can travel between worlds very easily," Arias says sounding so proud of his people I had to smile a little.

"We no longer use the type of transport that would require actual time to pass between journeys and so it's not monitored. I'd say during the height of the war someone who cared deeply for Kalem escaped the realm that way."

I close my eyes and try not to think about Arias' words too much.

The only people who ever cared about me were Arias and Master and it made me feel sick inside to think that someone who cared about me had left me in the slave house.

I now know how bad the slave house had been.

It wasn't a home and they weren't nice people. They were the worst type of people who did bad things every day to people like...

To people who didn't do anything wrong.

Before Arias came, every day there was full of sadness and so much pain.

Arias and Master would never ever leave me somewhere where I wasn't happy because they cared.

I open my eyes when I feel two large hands encircle my trembling ones to hold them tightly.

Master pulls me back to him with his arms around me and kisses my neck softly.

"It's okay love. I'm right here."

I focus on Master's whispered words of love and try not to let myself cry as his love seemed to pour into me from every angle, even ones I felt inside my soul.

"I think that's enough for today," Master says a little louder to everyone.

"We've barely scratched the surface," Arias protests, though he sounded exhausted.

"Be as that may, I think that's enough for Kalem for today," Master replies a little more sternly.

"N-No, it's okay Master," I say, trying to be good for him but my words were shaky.

"I'm okay."

Master stays silent for a moment before he kisses the place he bit all those weeks ago so gently it made my eyes glossy.

"It's okay not to be Kalem," he whispers for only me to hear.

"I’m okay," I protest despite myself.

"Well, I'm not," Master says and when I look at him, I find him making a sad face that makes me smile a little despite my tears.

“I'm not. So if it’s okay with you, can we please go home? For me."

Clenching his fingers with my own, I nod and lean into him.

Master stands with me still in his arms, letting me hide my face in his neck, not wanting to look at anyone when my eyes were so wet.

"When he's ready, we'll come back to continue," Master promises while he strokes me back soothingly.

"Malcolm, tell Arias about how things went on our side and if you wish Elf, you can carry on telling them without us."

With that, Master leaves the room and in the next moment, we're in front of his car.

Master doesn't put me in the backseat, he slides into his seat with me still clinging to him and shuts the door behind us.

"It'll be okay love," Master whispers gently, holding me close to him while still rubbing up and down my back with his loving hands.

"I've got you."

Master continues to whisper words of love and support, kissing my cheeks and neck like I was something precious to him.

I try really hard not to cry too much but the tears wouldn't stop and I couldn't let go of Master when he was being so nice and perfect... and nice.

"I love you. I love you, Kalem. I love you so very much," Master repeats the words over and over like a perfect song that filled me with so much joy I cried harder.

Master loved me.

Master cared about me.

"I want to go home. Can we go home?" I manage after some time.

To my surprise, Master still doesn't put me in the back, he puts me in the seat next to him and buckles me in.

When we drive away, he keeps his free hand on my lap, his fingers tightly intertwined with my own.

"This doesn't change anything Kalem," Master says after a few minutes on the road.

"You're still my Kalem and I'm still inexplicably in love with you."

I was Elven and I was bad and good.

I was nothing like the Human Kalem Master knew but he still said he loved me.

Even with everything he just heard about how mean I could be, he still said he loved me.

"Thank you," I say in a happy sob that made Master look across at me worriedly.

I was crying again but these were happy tears, not the sad ones.

"Master and Kalem forever?"

Master's worry falls away and he chuckles a little as he looks back at the road.

With one hand on the steering circle, he lifts our hands and presses a long kiss mine.

"Master and Kalem forever," he confirms with a sweet smile.

I press a kiss of my own to Master's hand to seal the promise and hold our clasped hands to my chest to calm my heart down.

"Master and his Kalem," I whisper softly to myself, unable to contain the smile on my face.

Lincoln and his Kalem, forever.

[thatoneitaliangirl]

Oh my gosh could you write a childe x reader thing 🥺🥺 I wanna just have some sweet angst with a happy outcome somehow 😔

I may have gone a bit overboard- At this point, I feel I'm literally incapable of writing anything under 1,000 words. So sorry this took so long, I had to take a break from writing to work out some things with school. A bunch of nonsense and stuff lol. You didn't specify gender, so I wrote the reader as female, only cause that's what I'm used to working with. I apologize if that's not what you wanted. I can always whip up something for ya with your preferred pronouns! But I'm not sure if I'll make it this long . . . I honestly don't know how I even did this, like this is a feat I feel. Anyways, I hope Childe isn't too OOC in this. I'm not the best when it comes to writing angst, so I hope you like it! And just as a little explanation beforehand, I read up that Childe joined the Fatui when he was about 14, became a Harbinger at 18, and is considered a young adult. So in this fic, it's assumed that he and you are at least 20 years old just so the timeline adds up and stuff. Also, despite how long this is, Childe isn't in it as much as you probably wanted- I have a tendency to write more about the reader than the characters. It's something I'm trying to break, but I was just so proud of this. I hope you like it! Anyways, happy reading!!! ^^

Childe x Reader Angst

Plot- Reader and Childe have been together for years when Reader finds out that Childe killed her sister when she was young.

Word count- 8,864 (I'm so sorry)

Warnings- Mentions of death, sadness, bad writing, possible suicide at the end(But just mentioned as a fear), swearing, and cringe 'funny' moments cause why not.

The wind blows through your hair as you sit atop a ledge overlooking Liyue Harbor. Today is your younger sister's birthday, and for the past six years, it's been nothing but a reminder of your failure. You were supposed to take care of her. After your parents passed away, you were all she had left, and she, you. But you were just a kid yourself, hardly capable of raising a child.

You bite your lip and look over at all the families walking about, having fun. It brings a smile to your face knowing at least some people can be happy on this day. She wouldn't have wanted doom and gloom to be her only remembrance. The sun in the sky is warm, beaming down on your skin. You've fought many battles for the Adventurers Guild during your time living in town, and are proud to say you've survived. Even escaped a few sparring matches with Childe relatively unscathed.

You win every time, but it's no surprise given he lets you win. That's one of the many things you love about him. He tries to put you first in most situations as much as he can with his job. And it's the little things like letting you win a fake fight that makes you feel like you're floating.

Your relationship is practically plastered on every notice board in town with how affectionate you are to each other. Not a soul in Liyue can look at you and not know you are the Harbinger's lover. But you're okay with that.

Taking in a calm breath, you hop down and glide your way to the docks below.

"Good morning, _____! Nice weather, isn't it?" You smile at the young girl as she approaches you. You've known her for a while now, and have come to consider yourself friends. She seems a bit nervous though.

"It certainly is. Are you okay, Chen?" Her smile drops and she grips onto her arms.

"Can I ask a favor of you? It's rude of me, but I'm desperate!"

"It's fine, what's the matter?" The young girl sighs.

"My brother borrowed a loan from Northland Bank last month and the payments were due two days ago. He told me he was going to pay it back . . . He hasn't been home since. I just thought that . . ."

"You want me to ask Tar?" Her eyes snap up to yours.

"Will you? Please? I'm just so worried about him! I told him not to take that loan, but he never listens to me." You put your hand on her shoulder to calm her down.

"It's okay. It's no problem at all! I was just headed there anyway. I'll see about your brother for you." Young Chen sighs in relief and reaches in her pocket.

"Here, I want you to take this as payment." You shake your head and push her hand away.

"No, I could never!"

"I insist! My mother gave this to me when I was a kid," She opens your hand and places a small coin in before closing your hand around it.

"She told me travelers would give these coins to people who did favors for them and that they grant wishes! Though I'm sure that's just a children's story; I was never able to get it to work." You give the coin a look, hesitant, before slipping it into your pocket.

"Alright, I'll accept. Thank you!" You wave goodbye to Chen and head towards the bank. Childe spends most of his days there, what he does, you have no idea. It's a mystery. The most you get out of him is 'business' which, yeah, obviously you do business. But it's understandable. The Fatui are a questionable lot, and not many people in Liyue trust them.

The Qixing keep a close eye on them as well, though you're sure even they hardly know what goes down under the 'bank' façade. Sometimes Childe comes home with cuts and bruises, claiming they're from training with his comrades, and while you don't buy that one bit, you play along. No need to add to his stress. If he thought you needed to know, he would tell you. No doubt about it.

Walking up the many flights of stairs, you nod to Vlad who lets you in.

Lucky for you, the first face your eyes land on is the exact one you came looking for.

"Tar!" He immediately looks over in your direction, smiles, and dismisses the Fatui agent he was talking to.

"Well, if it isn't the most beautiful woman in all Teyvat. Come to steal my heart?" He pulls you into a hug and kisses your cheek.

"No need, I already have it," You pull away, giving him a smile.

"I actually came here to see you."

"I'd hope so! Who else would you want to see?" Rolling your eyes, you grab him by his hand and lead him to his office.

"I have a favor to ask of you," The joking atmosphere surrounding you turns heavy as you hold his hands in yours.

"As you know, today is . . . Very important to me. I was wondering if you could get off early tonight? If not, it's okay though. I don't want to trouble you or anything." Childe chuckles and pats your head.

"I know what today is. I already requested an early leave this morning, but they haven't gotten back to me yet. If we're that backed up, I'm not sure I'll be able to," Your face falls a bit, but you smile. He made the effort to try and get off early without you even asking.

He places his hand onto your face and rubs his thumb over your cheek.

"But I promise to make it up to you. If I don't get back too late, we can go up to Mt. Tianheng and watch the lights at night. I know you like to do that when you're upset." The kind smile on his face is only magnified by the gentle look in his eyes. He's always been soft with you, even before you got together.

It was always an odd sight for people to see the two of you interact before you were a couple. He always regards people with the same jokester attitude, especially those he has to keep an eye on. But when he's with you, he may joke around, but is always much more concerned for your wellbeing.

"Thank you, Tar. I really appreciate it." He smirks and laughs.

"You appreciate it, huh? How much?" You roll your eyes again and give him a kiss on the lips. Childe smiles into it and tries to make it deeper, but you pull away with his lips chasing after you.

"Easy there, tiger. Save it for later, huh?"

"So, there's a later?" You lightly smack his chest and pull away from him as he laughs.

"Get back to work, Tar." You turn to leave but stop in the doorway.

"Oh, before I forget, I ran into Chen earlier," The look in Childe's eyes shifts slightly, but you barely notice.

"She mentioned that her brother stopped by here about two days ago, and was wondering if you knew where he went after? He hasn't been home since and she's very worried."

He ponders for a moment before his eyes light up in realization.

"Now that you mention it, he did say he was headed towards Lingju Pass. Don't know what for though." He shrugs.

"Okay, thank you! I'll be sure to pass it on." You exchange words of love before you leave.

After speaking with Chen, you decided to head towards the countryside. Your conversation with her went about as well as you expected. She seemed distressed and unsure of the information you gave her, but any criticisms were held as she thanked you and left. You hope that she'll be okay and that her brother comes back. Archons know, you understand what it's like to lose a sibling.

You take in a deep breath.

The air in Liyue is unlike any other. Once you leave the city and all the warm bodies, it's nothing but gentle breezes and the smell of earth. And the occasional Hilichurl, but you can easily take out a few to preserve the peace.

Walking along a random path in the sand, you reflect.

When you and your sister were young, you would often take walks like these while your parents were arguing. Despite only being a few years older than her, you actively chose to take on a more nurturing role. But after your parents died, you realized just how hard it was to provide for the two of you.

You knew how to use a bow to hunt, but not well, and even though you had your mother's catalyst, you didn't have a vision. Sometimes just showing it off and pretending you had a vision was enough to scare off petty thieves and weak Hilichurls, but it was only a matter of time before that wouldn't be enough.

Unfortunately, that time came all too soon.

The two of you had found an abandoned campsite and you decided to rest for the night. Your sister and you were headed to Mondstadt in search of a distant relative who you believed could help you. But during the night, your sister got thirsty and you were all out of water in your canteen. So you heading out to find a lake close by to fetch some, only to return to see a dark figure escaping into the night and your sister, laying in the tent, unmoving.

You were only a few hours walk to the city.

Sometimes you wonder if you had kept going that night, maybe whoever it was would have never even crossed your path. Your cries for help were heard by knights close by and they gathered your sister. Everyone in the city was welcoming and understanding, and the church gave her a wonderful service.

But nothing could mend the hole in your heart. Thankfully, the family member was able to take you in and trained you to become a knight. But that's not what you wanted. You wanted to find the person who killed your sister. And after completing your training, you left for Liyue and gained your Cryo vision along the way.

You summon your catalyst and flip through the pages. It's strange how magic works and how everything interacts with your vision. Before you, this weapon served your pyro vision-wielding mother. After you gained your vision, all the spells changed to fit the cold rather than the heat. You sigh and close the book. Sifting through it is just going to make you more sentimental. The sky above begins to turn shades of orange and pink as the sun goes down, so you decide to head home.

"I know you did something!" A loud voice yells, not too far from you.

"Chen?" You whisper to yourself and make your way around to see her at the edge of town, yelling at a Fatui agent.

"Calm down, miss Chen. We don't know what you are referring to." She balls her hands into fists, her face twisted in anger.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about! Lingju Pass? He hasn't set foot there since our father died. How dare you make up such lies!" You decide to make your way over to try and calm her down. She's obviously upset, and you know that Fatui agents aren't well versed in the ways of 'feelings.' In fact, most of the ones you've met have all been quite stoic and unconcerned.

"Are you calling the Fatui liars, miss Chen?" You stop, Childe stepping out in front of the other agent.

What is Childe doing out here?

"You Fatui lie about everything! Everyone in Liyue despises your presence here, and this just proves to me how low you people actually are. What did you do to my brother?!" She reaches up to hit Childe, and you run up to her and grab her by her arms. You know she can't hurt him, but if she tries she could get into some serious trouble.

"Chen, listen to me, you have to calm down." She looks up at you with tears streaming down her face but shakes off your grip.

"No! I refuse! He knows something about my brother, I know he does!" She looks at you with pleading eyes.

"Please, _____, tell him. Tell him to tell me where my brother is!" Chen sobs. Tears start to form in your eyes.

"Chen, I'm sorry, but Tartaglia doesn't know," You look up at Childe and are taken aback by the look in his eyes. His eyes are dead, angry, violent as he stares at Chen. He waves his hand, and two Fatui agents come from behind and drag Chen away.

"Let go of me!" She struggles as they hold her arms and pull her through the dirt path. Chen glairs at Childe, digging her feet into the ground to slow them down.

"You're a monster, Harbinger! A monster!" You continue to stare after her as she's dragged away. What just happened? You've known Chen and her brother since you moved here. What could have happened to make this poor girl act like this? You jump when Childe places his hand on your shoulder.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." He wipes the tears from your cheeks and smiles his normal, dashing smile. Nothing like the look he was giving Chen just a moment ago.

"Sometimes those awful rumors spreading about the Fatui make people act irrationally." You look him in the eyes as he holds your face. His eyes are soft and caring now, just how he always looks at you.

"Do you know what happened to her brother?" You ask softly. His eyes darken a bit, but his smile never faults.

"_____, my love, are you questioning me now too? Come on, you know none of that stuff is true, right? I work at a bank, not much else to it." He answers, his voice joking, but there's this undertone you can't quite place and have never heard before. You force a smile and hug him close.

"Your right, I'm sorry for asking. I'm just so concerned for Chen and her brother. Do you know where they're taking her?" He hugs you back, tight, and kisses your forehead.

"I think you should just leave it be for now. Go home and get some rest. I should be getting off work soon, and we can do what I promised. How's that sound?"

"Good." You lean up and give him a kiss. His voice drops low as he whispers in your ear.

"I love you, _____. Don't ever forget that."

And he leaves before you can reply. A chill goes down your spine as you watch him leave, and it's not from your vision. You've never seen Childe like that before, even when he interacts with the Traveler. It made you freeze in place, made your blood run cold, and had your heart beating faster with fear all at the same time. That was Harbinger Childe, not your Tartaglia. You rub your hands along your upper arms to calm yourself. You never want to experience that again.

Taking a deep breath, you reach into your pocket to grab your handkerchief, but pull out the coin Chen had given you instead. All it does is remind you that once again you failed to protect someone you cared about. Poor Chen is scared and afraid, and you're positive that Childe's reaction did not help her any.

But as you hold up the coin, you notice a faint glow emanating from around the outer edge which turns the intricate patterns into Liyuian Characters.

'Let the truth be revealed.'

What does this mean? You remember Chen telling you the story of the coin, but it was just that. You've never heard of any coins gifted by travelers before, and it definitely wasn't a common folk tale.

You shove it back into your pocket and rush home.

The sun is almost fully down, and the stars begin to light your way as you walk hastily down the path. Once your house is in sight, you pick up the pace and run inside.

The glow from the coin is brighter now, illuminating your darkening house. How does one even make a wish on a coin?

"I want to see the truth, but I don't know how," The glow of the coin shifts and changes colors in your hands, giving off an almost mystical wave of magic you've never felt before. Whoever made this coin had to have been powerful. You take a deep breath and look at the coin with determination.

"Show me the truth!" The glow envelopes you and when you open your eyes, you're shocked at what lays before you. The dark figure that haunts your dreams at night looms over your dead sister, red-stained blade in hand and a mask over his face.

You step closer, the classic mask of the fatui on the hooded mans' face making his eyes glow white in the darkness. His stature is much smaller than yours, and his outline seems to be that of a boy. At the time it would have been easy for you to confuse him with a man, being he would have been taller than you. But now that you're an adult, you can clearly see his youth. He smirks and laughs down at your little sister's body while whipping the knife on his sleeve.

"You should never have crossed the Fatui." Your heart drops as the young boy removes his mask revealing ocean blue eyes. The eyes of your lover that you adore on the face of the person that you've despised for years. A woman appears next to him, the same woman you've seen him speak to on many occasions but have never spoken to yourself.

"Good work, Tartaglia. You've proven yourself useful to the Tsaritsa after all. But your job here is not done," Childe looks up at the taller woman, his face determined.

"The other daughter has left to fetch water. Unfortunately, there are too many knights around on patrol to take her. Dispose of the body, and return at once." Childe bows to the woman and she smiles wickedly.

"Yes, Signora. Anything for the Tsaritsa." She leaves, and Childe begins to wrap up the young girl's body in a blanket. He stops suddenly, lifting his head up as young _____ approaches from over the hill. Childe smirks, fixing his mask and hood back on properly.

"Until next time, _____." He says and begins to run.

You gasp as the light invades your sight again and you're returned to the present. Your heart is beating a mile a minute and your breathing begins to pick up. The realization is overwhelming, and the shock is preventing you from crying.

Tartaglia was the one this whole time? It can't be, it just can't! You love him, and he loves you, he says so all the time. Has he lied to you this whole time? Has he just been keeping you close to screw with you before breaking your heart and killing you? That coin has to be lying. There's no way your Tar would ever do something like that, especially to you! He tells you everything. There are no secrets between the two of you.

Right?

The clock on the wall says that it's seven-o-clock, usually when Childe gets off of work. You don't want to be here; you can't be here. How can you face him after seeing that, even if it was a lie? You quickly run up to your shared bedroom and grab your adventuring bag, filling it with few essentials.

Where will you even go? There's nowhere in Liyue where Childe can't find you. Even across Teyvat, the Fatui have eyes and ears. You just need some time to reflect, get your barrings, and confront him. If you'll confront him. This has to be some kind of joke, or lie placed by some unknown power to question your love for him. There's no way he could have-

"What are you doing, _____?" You gasp, started by Childe suddenly behind you, blocking the exit to your room.

"Tar, you scared me!" You say shakily, holding your bag close to your chest. He smiles his usual caring smile at you, but all you can see is the smirk he held while staring down at your little sister.

"Sorry, my love. I got off of work early like I said I would. Is that why you have your bag?" His ocean blue eyes dart down to your bag and back up to you again. You subconsciously grip the bag tighter, Childe noticing.

"N-No. I accepted a commission last minute." The lie slips out like acid on your tongue.

You've never lied to him before, and it feels wrong. But you have to get out of here. Every alarm bell in your body is screaming at you to run as fast as you can away from the man you love.

His brow furrows a bit with concern and he takes a step closer to you, but you take one back.

"This isn't about what happened today, is it?" He sighs and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, it's just I don't like it when people falsely accuse me of things. I kinda slipped into Harbinger mode for a sec there." He laughs, again trying to come closer to you, you step back.

"Are they false though?" The question falls from your lips before you realize it, and Childe's eyes widen in surprise.

"_____, you can't be serious? You know I would never lie to you-"

"How do I know that, Childe?" You've never called him Childe, and it shows from the shock on his face when you do.

"What are you going on about? I could never-"

"Get away from me!" You yell at the Harbinger, tears finally falling from your eyes. There's no way you could be near him like this, knowing that he could have . . .

"Why? I love you, I won't hurt you." You try to steady your breathing as he slowly inches closer, treating you as of your a wild animal he wants to tame.

"You don't love me." You shake your head, gripping your backpack with white knuckles.

"What?" The question comes out as a whisper from the man's mouth in disbelief, hoping he didn't hear you properly.

"You don't love me!" You say one again, louder, confirming what he has hoped wasn't true.

"_____," Childe tries to come closer, but you shove past him and run to the front door. Before you can grab the handle, Childe grabs you by the shoulders and spins you around.

"Please, _____," His eyes are glassy with unshed tears as he gazes into your own.

"Tell me what I did to make you think this way?" You sob, hands pushing on his chest to break free but failing. You can barely breathe as the sobs rack through your body.

"You-" Trying to get the words out only makes you cry harder as the realization hits you. All the rumors are true. The Fatui are evil, conniving, and uncaring. They kill, pillage, experiment, torture, and don't care about who they have to step on to get their way. And your boyfriend, the love of your life, the man you wanted to marry and start a family of your own with, is one of them.

"You killed my little sister!" Your hands ball into fists and punch his chest as hard as you can, but in your state, you have barely any power.

"My baby sister is dead because of you! How could you?" You managed to get out through your tears, finally breaking down in the arms of the man you've despised for years.

Childe stares at you, unbelieving. He pulls you into a tight hug, crying on your shoulder, continuously apologizing. Never in your life have you seen Childe cry. Even when talking about how much he misses his family or his country, the farthest he gets is a sentimental smile and longing. Never have you thought you'd see him cry either. It's almost enough to make you forget that he's practically admitted to the murder.

He killed your only sister. How do you know he's sincere with his tears as he holds you close and begs you not to go? You've seen him lie before, never to you, but if he kept this secret for so long, what else has he been hiding? But none of that matters right now. The man you've been searching for years for, who you wanted to kill with your own bare hands, is the same person holding you so tenderly now.

How could you forget the countless nights you've woken up from nightmares of that boy coming to kill you and finish what he stared, only for Tartaglia to wake you up and hold you close, promising that he'd protect you? Every year when you mourn your sister and confide in him about how you were going to find that monster no matter what it took, did he fear you'd ever find out and kill him?

Is that why he kept you close for so long, to make sure you'd be too weak for him with love to ever even try? How can you love someone who killed your sister? It's easy to just assume you'd hate him, but for some odd reason, a little voice in the back of your mind is telling you to trust him and love him like you always had.

Another voice is telling you to end his life with no mercy and finally bring your sister to the peace she deserves.

Gathering up your strength, you manage to push him off of you.

"_____, no," He's in a state you've never seen before, face wet with tears, nose running, eyes puffy. But, he doesn't try to pull you back in.

You swiftly grab your bag and leave the house and Childe behind.

-------------

"_____," Your cousin John calls your name, pinching the bridge of his nose. He watches as you continuously use your vision to destroy training dummies.

"You continue this and the knights aren't going to have anything left to train with." You stop temporarily to glare at him.

"I'm training."

"So it seems." He watches as you continue your 'training.'

"You know, this doesn't seem healthy. I'm no doctor or anything, but, maybe you should, like, not?" You sigh irritated and cross your arms.

"Not what, John?" He gestures to the broken wood pieces scattered around the courtyard. You roll your eyes.

"I'm doing no worse than the average rookie knight!" John nods, leaning up against the wall.

"Yeah, yeah, except no. Why? Thank you for asking, cause your not a rookie and you're upset, at what? I don't know because you refuse to tell me. All I know is that my cousin is back after being gone for three years and the-," John looks around before stepping closer and lowering his voice.

"The Fatui in town have been eying us up everywhere we go. What the hell happened while you were in Liyue?" You bite your lip and message your wrists. The tips of your fingers have begun to turn purple from the cold, but you hardly seem affected. John pats you on the back and leads you inside the knight's headquarters.

"Look, I know we were never very close, and when you lived with us, we barely spoke, but I'm here now. We're not kids anymore, _____." The two of you sit down in the library. The three years you lived with your uncle and cousin were your worst. They treated you nice, but you were grieving and took it out on them and many training dummies. It seems you've done the same again.

"I'm sorry, it's just . . ." What happened with Childe months ago is still fresh on your mind. You haven't seen him since you left that night, and you aren't sure if you want to. You're conflicted. You thought coming back to Mondstadt would help you clear your mind and help you decide what to do, but you can't, and it's frustrating.

Despite how hard you've tried . . . You still love Tartaglia with all of your heart. But you can't forget what he did. You could never forgive him either. You've held hatred for this man for six years now, and every waking moment has been used to devise a plan to find him and kill him. But you can't kill him; not when you still hold these feelings.

If this was his goal, then he succeeded. You know he knows you're in Mondstadt. As John said, the Fatui have had their eyes on you since you showed up. You wouldn't be surprised if they all have you listed as a threat. After all, being one of their high-ranking officer's vengeful lover with intent and reason to kill would put anyone on a list.

But, with that said, he hasn't tried to contact you. No letters, no passing of words, hell, no carrier pigeons. He's extra enough to do that. And this has caused you to feel even more upset. Cause you still love the man, and there's some hope still there that he meant what he said and he does love you and the fact he hasn't done anything is killing you.

"_____, you good?" You snap out of your daze and nod.

"Yeah, I was just thinking."

"You seem to be doing a lot of that lately. Please, what's going on with you?" You decide it's best to tell your cousin the truth.

You explain to him the situation. How you fell in love, what life was like for you the three years you were gone, the coin, and finding out the killer's identity. John looks at you in shock.

"Wow, that's a lot. And this is why you came back?"

"Yeah, I know. I should have come back sooner to at least visit, but," John cuts you off and waves his hands.

"No, you're fine. I mean, it would have been nice to see you, but that's irrelevant right now. You found out your boyfriend, a Fatui Harbinger, was the one that killed your sister, and you're here? Doing what? Destroying Favonius property?" You agree hesitantly.

"I mean, when you put it like that, it sounds odd."

"No, _____, odd is an understatement. Why are you here? You should be getting answers, slapping people, storming Snezhnaya! Actually, don't do that last one, that could get us in a lot of trouble."

"True," You agree.

"Honestly, I don't know what to do. Do I confront him? I mean, if he did kill her, which I'm about 90% sure at this point that he did, do I get revenge? I've wanted to for years, but I know that I could never kill him." John takes your hand in his and speaks with sincerity.

"You love him, I get that, but you can't let that get in the way of things."

"No, I mean, I literally couldn't kill him. He's a beast in battle, and could probably end me without even blinking. I've seen him take on multiple ruin guards in seconds, like, he's on a whole nother level." You sigh and put your head in your hands.

"But even despite that, I do still love him. At this point, I feel the best thing to do is to just move on. Go my own way and let him go his."

"And what about your sister, huh? Just gonna forget about her?" You look at him questioningly.

"Look, you need to at least get closure. Obviously, he doesn't want you dead, because you would have been so by now. I can't even tell you how many times the Fatui could have nabbed you, gagged you, and sacked you since you've been back."

"Gee, thanks John, that really makes me feel better about the situation." He rolls his eyes.

"Talk to the man, _____. There will always be a home here waiting for you to come back to." Maybe your cousin is right? If Childe did want you dead, you know damn well he has the power to have made it happen. But how would you even react when you see him? The only way to find out is to get it over with.

With newfound enthusiasm, you jump up from your position and slam your hands on the table.

"Alright, I'm gonna go! I'm gonna talk with Tartaglia and I'm gonna punch him at least once!"

"That's the spirit!" A series of loud shooshes sound around the library and you slowly sit back down.

"Sorry!"

You and your cousin John devise a plan over the next few days. You're still unsure about this whole thing, but with encouragement from John, you gain the confidence you need to push through.

In the end, you decide the best thing to do is to sneak out of Mondstadt without any Fatui seeing you. It's still dangerous to speak with him, and the two of you decide the safest thing is to get him unprepared and off guard. If he's not expecting you, he has no time to plan. Not that he needs a plan to kill you, he could just do it. But still-

As the sun seeps down past the hills and flatlands of Mondstadt, John and you make your way out of headquarters and down to the main part of town.

"You know what sounds so amazing right now? A tall mug of cider from Angel's Share!" John exclaims and grabs your arm. The two of you practically run towards the tavern, gaining looks from the other citizens.

"Cool it, John," You whisper yell to him as you head inside.

"You wanna actually look suspicious?" He laughs, sitting down at a table in the back.

"Sorry if I'm not good at being convincing. Dad always said acting would be my downfall."

"When would you ever have to act to be a knight?" He shrugs his shoulders.

"Right now?" Okay, he has a point. Merely minutes after you sit down, two Fatui agents walk in after, taking a table far enough away, but close enough to keep you in their sights.

"Don't worry, _____," Your cousin says, noticing your worried expression.

We'll get you out of here."

John waves his hand and gains the attention of Master Diluc as he's walking around the tavern.

"We'd like two Valberry Whiskey's please!" Your cousin asks loudly and winks. Diluc rolls his eyes and heads towards the back of the tavern, getting the 'drinks.'

It was a miracle and a half that John was able to convince Master Diluc to help you. But John said he owed him a favor. For what, you have no idea. Not even a second later, a young bard runs over to your table and slams his hands down.

"What did you just order?"

"Uh," You look to your cousin for guidance. The drink was simply a code, not an actual order.

"Valberry Whiskey?" The young bard looks at you in amazement. He's clearly drunk, but the sheer excitement in his eyes seems to sober him up enough to eagerly rush to the bar counter.

"A new drink! And Diluc didn't tell me?!" His shouts of joy gain the attention of the entire bar.

"A new drink?!"

"One not on the menu?"

"Master Diluc!"

Your cousin and you share a look as the crowd goes wild, rushing towards the front bar and to the back looking for Diluc to inquire about this new drink. The few Fatui agents that had followed you in stand up from their seat to get a better view of you and John. John grabs your arm and pulls you into the crowd, the Fatui agents desperately searching for your whereabouts.

"This way, _____." He pulls you farther and farther away from the Fatui till you feel another hand grab you and pull you out of the back entrance to the tavern.

"Hey, watch your hands, buddy!"

"Would you rather still be in there then, _____?" You smile nervously up at Diluc, who's handing you a bag and cloak.

"Things didn't exactly go as planned, huh?" The redhead smirks and crosses his arms.

"I knew that bard would be in here tonight. Drunk off his ass, he wouldn't be able to resist the call of a new drink item." You laugh, pulling the hood over your head.

"Thank you, Diluc." He gives you a rare smile and nods. You begin to walk off but stop, looking back at the tavern owner.

"Hey Diluc, what was the favor for?" Diluc sighs and pinches between his eyes.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

__________________

The journey back to Liyue is a tiring one. It seems a lot closer than it actually is on the map, but heading to the main harbor is always a task. Thankfully, you're able to make your rations last the whole trip, and as you enter the harbor in the wee hours of the night, you smile at the familiar buildings. You may have only been gone for a few months, but this was your home for the last three years.

Your home with Tartaglia . . . You pull your hood farther down your head and try to remain in the shadows. Despite the time of night, the area is still bustling with people. Merchants making deals, ships delivering goods, the whole nine yards.

You flatten yourself against a wall as a few Fatui agents walk past. The place is absolutely crawling with Fatui, even more so than usual. Could it have something to do with you? You doubt it. Harbinger or not, Tartaglia could get in serious trouble for using Fatui resources in such a way.

You carefully slide through cracks and crevises, branches and bushes, trying to stay out of any Fatui sights. Eventually, you find yourself on the outskirts of the city, not far from your shared home. It surprisingly takes a lot from you to not run straight for it. You miss your house. You miss your bed. You miss Tartaglia.

But now is not the time to get sentimental!

You still need to confront him about what he did. And depending on his answer, one of you may not make it through the night. You keep yourself stealthy as you enter the house from the back. He's not home, which is good. But the place is in disarray. Furniture turned upside down, plates smashed against walls, everything caked in dust. It's hard to believe he's been living here if he even has been.

If that's the case, you may have to go looking for him. You look around the house at the disaster. He may have been trying to look for something; maybe a clue to what you had planned or something to use against you.

With that in mind, you run up the stairs to the master bedroom and open the closet. You fear the worst but are surprised to find your sister's belongings still in place.

Surely he would have found them in here.

The bedroom isn't as bad as the bottom floor, though still a mess. The bed is unmade, with a small pile of your clothes on your side of the bed, and his clothes on the floor. All of your things, besides the clothes, are still neatly in their places. Pictures of you and him together that were once on the walls are now on his nightstand, face up and smudged with fingerprints.

"What the hell happened here?" The sound of the front door opening startles you. Could that be Childe? There's no way he's living like this!

Footsteps move across the floor, into the kitchen, into the living room, and slowly up the stairs. Whoever it is, your about to face them.

The door opens slowly, almost torturously so. Soon, the sunken and sullen face of your lover is in your view, and even faster, your on the floor with a knife made of hydro to your throat. Your hood continues to obscure your identity as Childe pins you down.

"Bold of you to break into the home of a Fatui Harbinger! What did you expect?" With the pressure from the knife digging deeper and deeper into your skin, you freeze the hand wrapped around his holding the knife, and kick your leg out. Childe falls over, dropping his weapon which shatters on impact. Before you can get your bearings, he's lunging at you again. He grabs you from behind and holds you in a chokehold.

"Your fast, but you'll never be fast enough!" You gasp for air, holding onto his arm as it's wrapped around your neck. He's trying to kill you, you know he is. All the times you've sparred with him, you knew he was holding back, but he's definitely not this time. Even so, his hold on you is weak. Weak for him, at least.

You rear your elbow into his stomach as hard as you can knocking him back and you summon your catalyst. As he said, he's faster than you, but before he can get back, you place a wall of ice between him and yourself. It's not enough to hold him back for long, but enough to catch your breath. He laughs as he can hear you choking, attempting to regain your oxygen.

"You think this little wall will stop me?" He attacks the wall with his fist, making a section crumble. Your breathing is fast, but you can't seem to gain enough breath to speak. As he crumbles your wall piece by piece, you pull back your hood and lean on the bedroom wall behind you. Finally, he lands the finishing blow and the ice dissipates in a gust of cryo magic. The crazed look of bloodlust vanishes from his face the instant he sees you, hand on your throat, and your breath heavy.

"___-," He can hardly finish his whisper as he lets out a shaky breath. With the tense atmosphere suddenly calm, you're able to regain your breath and look up at the man. His skin a pale and his eyes are dull. He has large dark circles under his eyes and he looks a bit thinner than normal.

"_____," He manages to get out, still shocked you're actually here.

"Are you okay?" You shake your head.

"You haven't seen me in months and that's the first thing you say to me?" He rubs the back of his neck and looks down, ashamed.

"I didn't know it was you. I'm sorry if I hurt you." You can hardly believe what you're seeing. He seems broken, utterly defeated. If he hadn't fought you just now, you'd assume he'd fall over with the breeze.

Looking at him now, it's hard to believe he's the same man that killed your sister.

"We need to talk." He nods, refusing to meet your eyes.

"You need to tell me the truth, Tar," He takes in a shuddering breath at your words.

"All these years, I've been beside you. I've stood up for you, I've loved you. I told you all my darkest secrets and nightmares. Not once did I ever lie to you."

Tears come to his eyes just as they do yours. He bites his lip to prevent the tears from falling. You step closer to him, dropping your cloak, and put your hands up to his face. He flinches away from you but relaxes when your palms cup his cheeks and he finally looks you in the eyes.

"Over the past few months, I've thought long and hard about what I wanted to say to you. And no matter what scenario I came up with, I could never tell if I was doing the right thing. But, even though I carry some semblance of anger, I know that what I feel for you is real. And with that, I still hold hope that you feel the same and it wasn't all just a lie."

He grabs your hands, the tears now falling one by one down his pale cheeks.

"I swear to all the Archons that I love you! I never lied about that!" You hesitate for a moment, blinking away your own tears.

"And though I don't want to, I believe you," You rub your thumbs across his face, clearing some of the tears.

"But I need you to tell me everything." Tartaglia closes his eyes. He never dreamed in a million years he'd have to tell you this story. He'd hoped that you'd live in blissful ignorance for the rest of your life with him. But the gods had another plan for him and you, and he prays that at least one of them will let him keep you. Even if that's a selfish request.

"I joined the Fatui when I was young. I was constantly trying to prove myself to Signora and the Tsaritsa that I was willing to do anything they asked me. I still am," He looks at you with regretful and sorrowful eyes as he recalls the past.

"Your parents had fled Snezhnaya when you were born, because of a debt they racked up with the Fatui. When they were found in Fontaine, it was revealed that they were working for a group of rebels intent on infiltrating Snezhnaya. It was my job to take you and your sister to use as leverage on your parents. But, your sister fought back," You release his face and look away, finding it harder to keep eye contact with him.

"I wasn't as skilled as I am now, and I panicked. But La Signora said I did a good job. I didn't know that your parents had already been killed by the rebels, and neither did the Fatui. Not until after we had left you. At that point, there was no reason to continue after you. But you were never forgotten about. And when you came to Liyue, I was instructed to keep an eye on you," Childe lifts his arms up and places his hands on your shoulders.

"But I never expected to fall in love with you." You look into his ocean blue eyes and are overcome by the warmth they hold for you.

"The day I met you, I could feel it, and I tried so hard to forget about it, but you were just so . . . Amazing, and beautiful, and kind. I never expected that from you. You never once judged me or ridiculed me, even though you knew who I was. I thanked the Archons every day that you came into my life, and I prayed that you'd never find out what I'd done."

A sob breaks through as he wipes the tears running down his face. All the years you harbored hatred for this man, you never once thought about what he could have been going through. It's true that this doesn't excuse his actions, but to know that he truly regrets what he did brings you some kind of closure. In the end, revenge would have never made you feel better. Your sister wouldn't have wanted that.

You love Tartaglia with all your heart, and in this world, it's better to forgive than to let it eat away at you any longer.

"Tartaglia," His name comes out as a whisper with your breath, but he hears you loud and clear. The fear of rejection in his eyes tells you everything you need to know as you carefully speak to him.

"I forgive you." He cries, pulling you to his chest and you hug him back. Unfortunately for him, you weren't finished.

"But, I need some time to think about this. I love you; I never stopped loving you, and I always will," You pull back and smile at him before gently kissing his chapped lips.

"I'm going back to Mondstadt, but I'll be back. You just need to give me some time." He smiles as best he can and nods enthusiastically.

"I'd give you all the time in the world if I could." He moves to kiss you again, but you put a finger up to his lips to stop him.

"Save it for later, Tar." He laughs, looking back up at you with bright eyes.

"So, there's a later?"

(A little something extra. It doesn't quite fit to be an ending, but more like an epilogue just tying things together I guess lol.)

___________________

You sigh as you sling your bag over your shoulder. It's been a good few months back in Mondstadt after your reconciliation with Childe, and you've decided it's time to go home. You've kept in regular contact with him since you've been here, writing letters to each other like new lovers. You found the whole thing quite cute, despite the circumstances. He's been regarding you with caution, taking things one step at a time, and never pushing you past any limits you set. You're grateful for that.

"You sure you wanna go back? You can always stay a bit longer, just to give yourself a bit more time to think it over." John says, arms crossed and head down. You two have grown closer over your time spent here. It's a shame to think you were so caught up in your misery to be blind to the best friend you could have had. And it's tough to say goodbye, now that you've grown attached.

"I'm sure. You don't have to miss me too much, ya know? I'll be back to visit, and I'll write every week!" John huffs.

"You better, or I'm coming over there and kicking that Fatui's ass for keeping you away! I don't care how many ruin guards he can take on!" You laugh and pull him into a hug.

"I'm gonna miss you." He hugs you back, holding you tight.

"Yeah, I know." You roll your eyes and wave goodbye to the family you didn't realize you had.

Once back in Liyue, you get settled into your home with Childe. Thankfully, he cleaned up the mess he made while you were gone. He had said he was so distraught at the thought of you leaving him, he trashed the place in anger. Not anger from you, but anger at himself. He was afraid you'd think he was a monster, that he was heartless, and that you'd never want to see him again.

He was relieved when he heard you were in Mondstadt. There, he could keep an eye on you. One of the things he was afraid of was you doing something to yourself due to the pain of it all . . . If you did that, he wouldn't know how to cope. And when he received word that you had disappeared from Mond, well, he thought that fear had come true. But in the end, things worked out. You could never forget what he did, nor do you want to. It's something you have to live with, just like he does, and it's up to you to put it aside.

You know there are many things he's done that he's not proud of. Many things of which he promises to tell you when he's ready. And you'll be there to listen as he spills his heart out to you.

You take in a breath of air as you enter the harbor, smelling the salty water of the ocean and the wonderful herbs being brought in from traveling merchants. You'll never get over these smells.

"_____!" You look over your shoulder, surprised as Chen runs over to you. You haven't seen her since the incident outside of town.

"Chen! Are you okay?" She smiles and hugs you.

"I'm doing great! My brother and I have been selling a lot more of our goods since he's been back, and business has been booming!"

"Your brother?" You tilt your head.

"Yes!" She nods enthusiastically.

"He did go to Lingju Pass as Childe had said. It turns out, he had a buyer out there but didn't want to tell me in case the deal went south. I overreacted. . ." She puts her head down in shame.

"All the rumors about the Fatui got to my head, and I assumed the worst. But Childe went out and found my brother for me. Can you please tell him I said thank you? Also that I'm sorry. I really owe him one."

You pat her on the head, relieved.

"Of course, Chen." She reaches into her pocket and pulls something out.

"For payment-"

"No!" You shove her hand away.

"Gotta go! I'm late to see Tar!" You sprint off, leaving a confused Chen in your wake.

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin childe #genshin impact childe #genshin impact childe x reader #genshin childe x reader #childe x reader #genshin impact angst #genshin angst #genshin impact x reader angst #genshin venti #genshin impact venti #genshin diluc #genshin impact diluc #angst

[adapembroke]

The Best Self-Care Routine For Your Moon Sign

If you’ve ever read an article about self-care and felt like it was adventures in missing the point for you, you’re not alone. Just like one-size-fits-all clothes are a myth, one-size-fits-all self-care routines aren’t going to work for everyone.

In astrology, the moon describes the things you need to be happy. It is your personal recipe for comfort and well-being.

In this article, I talk about what a daily routine of self-care looks like for each of the astrological signs.

Moon in Aries

Aries is a stress magnet. With the moon in Aries, it’s essential for you to build activities into your routine that help burn off stress.

In the morning… Start your day with a quick yoga routine or an adaptogen-filled smoothie.

At work… It’s easy for you to fall into a bad posture or unconsciously clench your muscles when you’re stressed out at work. Make sure to take a few minutes throughout the day to stretch and move your body—especially if your job requires you to sit for long periods of time.

At lunch… Fuel up on food that will give you energy, and take a few minutes to do deep breathing exercises. If you have a hard time sitting still long enough to meditate, try taking a walk or doing a simple mindfulness practice.

After work… It’s important to communicate to your body when stress is over. If you find your work or your commute stressful, do something that marks the transition from work-time to home-time like changing your clothes or taking a shower.

On your days off… Look for adventures. You weren’t made to be bored, and there’s a big, wide world out there to explore.

Moon in Taurus

Earthy Taurus moons feel best when you are in your body, and it feels good. You weren’t born on this earth to be a stress-ball, and the more you lean into that, the happier you’ll be.

In the morning… Try to give yourself plenty of time to get through your morning routine. Taurus is a slow sign naturally, and you thrive on calm. Having a few minutes before you begin your day to drink your coffee before you have to start anything important will do a lot for your mood.

At work… Resist the temptation to give into productivity culture. You work best when you’re able to work at your own pace, even if that’s slow and steady. The time other people spend healing from burnout is time you can use to catch up.

At lunch… If there’s anything about your job that is physically uncomfortable, spend a few minutes getting away from that thing, if you can. Otherwise, eat something delicious and take a walk outside when the weather is nice.

After work… Take care of your body. Taurus is the most embodied sign in the zodiac, and it’s important for you to make time in your routine to feel good every day, even if it’s as simple as switching to the comfy shoes instead of the ones that pinch.

On your days off… Spend as much time as you can outside in nature. Taurus gets a lot from connecting with animals, so spend some time at the park watching people walk by with their dogs.

Moon in Gemini

Gemini is the sign of the conversationalist. Gemini moons are happiest when you feel like you are thinking quickly and on top of your game.

In the morning… Take a deep breath. You might be tempted to do All The things, but you don’t have to jump into everything right away. All you have to do right now is breathe.

At work… You might do your best work by going along with the task that is most immediate or urgent, but it’s important to remember that your priorities are important, too. Make a list of a few things you think are important to finish every day and do your best to make sure they don’t get lost.

At lunch… Talking with people is a very important emotional need for you. If you have a job that doesn’t allow you to talk to people while you’re working, reach out to a friend or grab a colleague for coffee.

After work… If you have a job that bores you, now is the time to stimulate your mind. Talk to people you find interesting or geek out about the thing you’re obsessed with at the moment.

On your days off… Socialize, socialize, socialize.

Moon in Cancer

Cancer is the sign of the nurturer, which means that it is extra important for you to take care of yourself. There’s a lot of pressure (especially on people of certain genders) to put everyone else’s priorities first, but you will do a better job taking care of others when you’re well taken care of first.

In the morning… Feed yourself. Literally. It sends a message to your body that you’re taking care of yourself.

At work… Honor your emotions, whatever they are. If it isn’t appropriate to express your feelings in front of your colleagues, there’s a reason the bathroom door has a lock on it.

At lunch… Find quiet if you can. If you can’t, a good pair of noise cancelling headphones works wonders.

After work… Reconnect with your feelings before you jump into anything. If your job is particularly stressful, be careful about making plans on work nights, or make sure you can back out of them. Sometimes self-care isn’t compatible with dinner parties.

On your days off… Schedule yourself some free-time alone. Ask yourself: If I was my best parent, what would I do with this time? Then do that thing.

Moon in Leo

Leo is the sign of the entertainer and the child. You have an emotional need to be seen, and you need to feel like you are making the people around you happy. When you are alone, creative self-expression feeds your soul.

In the morning… Put on something that feels like You. Other signs can get away with wearing the same gray dress slacks 6 days a week. (I’m looking at you, Capricorn.) You don’t have that luxury. A spontaneous smile when you look in the mirror is a must.

At work… You need to be in a job where your work is appreciated. If the people around you don’t get what you’re about, lunch breaks are for job hunting.

At lunch… Do something playful. Adult coloring books were made for Leo moons.

After work… If you’ve got social energy to burn, use it, baby!

On your days off… The best audience is a grateful audience. Take a few hours to volunteer for a cause you believe in.

Moon in Virgo

Virgo is famous for being a detail-oriented perfectionist. As a Virgo moon, you have an emotional need to feel like you have all your ducks in a row. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

In the morning… Get straight on your priorities. List making was made for Virgo moon mornings.

At work… Find yourself being especially critical of yourself (or someone else)? Make it a practice to notice three things you (or they) do right every day. You can do it. Honestly.

At lunch… Check in with yourself: How is that to-do list coming? If you’re feeling antsy because things aren’t getting done, reassess your plans and make peace with changes or set some boundaries on your afternoon.

After work… Make yourself a healthy dinner and get some exercise. …That isn’t the kind of indulgent self-care advice you usually get, but it will make you feel better.

On your days off… Connect with a craft. Anything that you really enjoy doing and can work on perfecting is good for the soul.

Moon in Libra

Libra is the sign of the scales, which means that feeling like you have balance and calm in your life is important for your emotional health.

In the morning… Get into your body and literally find your balance. Spending a minute in a one-legged yoga pose will tell your brain that it’s time to wake up and find your footing.

At work… People are going to look to you to be the peace maker. You can embrace this, or you can fight it, but your ability to see all sides of an issue is valuable. Allow yourself to shine.

At lunch… Look at your face in the mirror. If your best friend had that expression on their face, what advice would you give them? Go do that.

After work… Tend to your relationships. A healthy relationship is a happy Libra moon.

On your days off… Seek serenity, chase beauty, live poetically.

Moon in Scorpio

Scorpio is the sign of the psychologist and the sorcerer. No one feels their darkest emotions as strongly as a Scorpio moon. Tending to hard emotions is essential for your emotional health.

In the morning… Watch out for getting in the habit of waking up depressed, anxious, or angry. If you find that you’re in the same bad mood every morning, it doesn’t have to be that way. Change up your routine, and, if that doesn’t work, talk to your doctor.

At work… It can feel sometimes like you are a researcher behind a one-way mirror. You can see everyone else, but everyone else can’t see you. You can use this to your advantage. It can also make you invisible at times when people should be seeing the good work you’re doing. Make sure you’re using your super power intentionally.

At lunch… If your job denies you solitude, take it back during your breaks. Having times to sort through your feelings during the day is vital for Scorpio moons.

After work… Music is your best friend. If you have a commute, listening to music that resonates with your feelings (or, better, takes you to a better emotional place) will give you a much better evening.

On your days off… Connect with people who love your intensity. The cool kids are supposed to be easy-going, but there are people who value deep honesty. Treasure them when you find them.

Moon in Sagittarius

Sagittarius is the sign of the wanderer, the philosopher, and the student, and no sign understands that life is a journey better than Sagittarius moons. You have an emotional need to feel like life has meaning. Don’t let the cynical world out there put out your fire.

In the morning… If you don’t know the reason you got up this morning, figuring it out is the first thing on your to-do list.

At work… No matter what your job is, find some time to do something you’ve never done before, even if it’s finding out where they keep the big boxes of ketchup packets. Learning something new every day is key to your happiness.

At lunch… Do something that makes you happy. Taking a break to look at silly kitten pictures is a thing.

After work… Break up your routine and try something new. That new Ethiopian restaurant down the street really is calling your name.

On your days off… Explore, explore, explore.

Moon in Capricorn

Some of the other signs might not realize that you weren’t born wearing a business suit, but we know you have a big heart, Capricorn moon.

In the morning… The person who invented goal setting was probably a Capricorn moon. Feeling like you have a clear idea of the mountain you have to climb today is important to you.

At work… You don’t need advice. You’re a Capricorn.

At lunch… Be intentional about eating at your desk. Is it really helping, or does it just feel like it’s helping?

After work… Exists. If you let it.

On your days off… Take them.

Moon in Aquarius

Aquarius is the sign of the genius and the rebel. Aquarius moons have an emotional need to go against the crowd and do their own thing.

In the morning… If you can, try to wake up without an alarm. The feeling of starting the day on your terms will do a lot for your emotional state.

At work… Check your relationship with authority. If you are in a position where you need to take orders from someone you don’t respect, don’t underestimate the toll that will take on your emotional health, and account for that in your self-care practices.

At lunch… Think about the future. It’s something you probably enjoy doing anyway, and if you don’t like your current circumstances some healthy day-dreaming will help you make changes.

After work… Get back into your body. Aquarius’s favorite coping mechanism is dissociation, and it’s important to remember to stop when the need is gone.

On your days off… Do your own thing.

Moon in Pisces

Pisces is the sign of the mystic, the poet, and the open ocean. It is essential for Pisces moons to have free time to explore the mysteries of consciousness and Just Be.

In the morning… Start your day with meditation, even if it’s a few minutes staring out the window on the bus.

At work… Pisces has the ability to masquerade as other signs when necessary, but it’s important to remember who you are. When you’re starting to feel ungrounded lean into the place in your body that feels like the core of your being. Meditate on it for a minute. You’ll know what I’m talking about.

At lunch… Space out. If you don’t do it now, you’ll do it this afternoon. (You might do it this afternoon, anyway.)

After work… Have you meditated yet today?

On your days off… Sensory deprivation tanks were made for Pisces moons.

What about you? What’s your moon sign, and what are you doing to take care of yourself today?

If you’ve read this far, you’re pretty cool, I’d love for you to connect with me on Instagram and tell me about your plans.

Related Posts

#moon

[dessarious]

What Makes a Family? Pt19

AO3   Beginning   Previous   Next

Bruce was in a state of mild panic. Mild only because he was fairly certain his brain had shut down in protest with all the unexpected information being thrown his way. He tried to focus on one thing at a time but even then the sheer strangeness of it all was overwhelming. Just watching the girls together made his head spin. Cass didn’t relax, ever, but here she was snuggled into Marinette’s side, playing with one of the buttons on her shirt while the two of them communicated in a way he was certain he’d never understand. When he’d told her about Marinette the day before all she said was ‘Oh, that makes sense’, and walked away. How was he supposed to respond to that?

Then there was Marinette herself. Forgetting for a moment that she was apparently using magical artifacts to defend Paris and had gone up against the League already, she was nothing like what he’d expected. Granted his mind had automatically gone to the worst case scenario, but even the less doomsday prophecy version of her in his head was insanely off the mark. First, unlike the rest of his children, she was an adult. Maybe not in age but her maturity was obvious. Even Selina backed down when she insisted. And wasn’t that just a great surprise? His only consultation was that Alfred hadn’t known either. He was going to have to ask Marinette how she’d managed to get Selina to put something back. In his experience once she had her hands on something it was hers. Period.

“Guilt.” He blinked in Marinette in confusion. “Usually when she steals something it’s not a big deal because institutions have insurance to cover things, but since Paris is dealing with a terrorist that feeds on negative emotions, stealing something here is creating targets for him. Harley actually was the one that finally convinced her by talking about the huge mental toll all of this must be taking on the people of Paris.” He was almost certain he hadn’t voiced that question out loud but his shock over that was derailed quickly.

“You know Harley too?” She just offered him a sympathetic smile and that was one more thing to add to the list of things he didn’t expect. She was obviously nurturing, protective, and empathetic. If any of the boys were in her place they’d be laughing at him and storing it for blackmail material later. Every time she sprang something else on him he could tell she was trying to soften the blow even though she felt pressed for time.

“Well, yes.” Her look turned sheepish. “I was a bit overwhelmed at the time so instead of arguing with Selina I may have made a portal to her home and shoved her through it so I didn’t have to worry about Akumas coming after me while I talked to her.” He blinked at her.

“You can make portals from Paris to Gotham?” He had been trying to avoid the whole magic topic until the idea settled a bit more but if this was something anyone who had one of these artifacts could do that was a problem.

“Well no, not me specifically. One of the Miraculous in my charge has the ability. I had been keeping it on me in case I needed to leave Paris to let out negative emotions.” She sounded ashamed and Cass was giving him a look that said he needed to say something. Yeah, because him talking to his children always went so well.

“Everyone needs a break. You’re not shirking your duties by taking care of yourself. I imagine there are grave consequences to more than just yourself if this villain manages to get inside your head so it makes sense for you to do anything in your power to keep that from happening.” She peeked at him, looking for something but he had no idea what, before offering a tense smile.

“Still, I’m sorry for entering Gotham like that. I know how you feel about outsiders. In my defense I had no idea where I was until they told me and I left as soon as Selina agreed to not steal in Paris until I’ve dealt with Hawkmoth.”

“How do you make a portal to somewhere and not know where you are?” The words came out harsh because of his confusion and Cass glared at him. Tikki was the one who ended up answering.

“Kaalki doesn’t need a geographical location to get somewhere. Mari wanted to take Catwoman home so that's where they made the portal. We Kwami aren’t confined by your limited knowledge. In our aspects we have very few limitations.” Well that didn’t sound at all ominous.

“The Kwami themselves aren’t limited but the Miraculous and their holders can create their own barriers. For instance, if you don’t think you can get somewhere without knowing exactly where it is then Kaalki won’t be able to get you there. Your perception of what is and isn’t possible plays a large part in how a Miraculous can be used. I think that’s why Master Fu chose such young holders. He thought we would be more open minded about the possibilities.” There was sadness in her tone but there was also a bite to it. He wanted to ask about it, but given his track record with shoving his foot in his mouth he wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Luckily Plagg decided to chime in.

“That may be why he picked Chat Noir but Tikki chose you. We weren’t about to let him pick someone less in harmony with the Miraculous for arbitrary reasons.” Tikki was glaring at Plagg and given the way Marinette shrank in on herself, she didn’t know that.

“So he didn’t want me to be Ladybug?” Tikki sent Plagg one more scathing look before hovering in front of Marinette.

“It wasn’t a matter of want. He felt that you being so in tune with me when we couldn’t find a black cat to match would be a problem we couldn’t overcome. You proved him wrong regardless but we told him he needed to find your real partner and as far as we know he never bothered.” The underlying rage in the Kwami’s tone was impressive if he was being honest. Given he had no idea what the beings were capable of he was glad it wasn’t directed at him.

“He didn’t. I asked him about it when Chat Noir started sitting out fights and he said that they were doing fine with the way things were.” Plagg’s words came out in a growl and Marinette tightened her arms around Cass.

“One more person trying to keep us apart. I have to wonder how much of it is chance rather than fate. Maybe there’s a reason this is happening now.” Marinette sounded less than thrilled with that observation. Cass just gave a hum of agreement. “Either way, focusing on what has happened serves no purpose. I’m the Guardian now and no one will ever separate us again.” There was an edge to her voice that actually had Bruce feeling sorry for any poor soul that tried.

AO3   Beginning   Previous    Next

Ko-Fi

Tag List

@moonystars14 @ladybug-182 @elmokingkong @smolplantmum @jessigurl-design @trippingovermyfeet @its-salty-bug @whydoexamsexist @scorchdragon88 @alenee13 @lil-1254s-blog @sturchling @random-fandoms7 @fandom-writer642 @chylou34 @thewitchwhowaited @junarvion @laurcad123 @hakoirii @aestheticnpoetic @aegyobutpsycho2 @sassakitty @swiftie-miraculer13 @miraculous-simmer7 @peachedpocky @misslenamooney @shamefullove @user00000003 @18-fandoms-unite-08 @galla02006 @thestressmademedoit @toodaloo-kangaroo @trinity-1002107 @alessialeone6997 @i-shizen @necromancerflight @astoriaandromeda @devils-wrath @adrestar

#bio dad bruce wayne #marinette dupain cheng #cassandra cain #bruce wayne #good dad bruce wayne #MLB DC Crossover

[vina-writes]

Ten Favorite Drarry Fic Recs

I’ve reached a bit of a follower milestone, and I thought, why not celebrate? I’m happy! This is an incredible feeling that I honestly can’t fully articulate in writing. Knowing someone enjoyed my work and presence enough that they’d want to be notified if I posted again just makes me squeal and want to hug everyone from joy!! Thank you to anyone who has ever left me kudos, a comment, a tag, a note, an emoji, a tag emoji!! I am endlessly grateful to you all for this support and kindness.

Now, since it’s party time, I’ve compiled a personal list of my ten favorite Drarry fics to share the love. This is by no means a stamp of quality (as there are thousands of brilliant fics out there) and neither is it a guarantee that these are everyone’s cup of tea. But they are certainly my cup of tea— my whole buffet honestly.

I chose fics that made me feel deeply. Fics that made me cry, laugh, throw my phone, squeal and wiggle and dance at the end. These (mostly) weren’t fics which answered deep philosophical questions. They were fics which instead showed me love and adventure, joys and betrayals, misunderstandings and occasionally unbelievable (but appreciated) levels of smut (you know who you are). These are stories I read to be entertained, entranced, delighted, and happy. These are stories that made me feel in love.

In honor of that (and of my Canva addiction) I’ve made little banners for each. I hope they do some justice to these works. I’ve tried to capture the feeling of each fic in just one image. Without further ado, read on to find out exactly what my guilty pleasure (as if Drarry isn’t enough) is:

The Songbirds of Avebury Manor by Tessa Crowley [E, 18k] 

Summary: Harry Potter presents as alpha at fifteen, and it is supposed to change his life for the better. Instead, it leads him to a beautiful noble omega he cannot have, a political plot he cannot escape, and a threat on his life.

This story. Oh my stars, this story. What can I even say to properly express how I feel about it? This is the Romeo and Juliet, the Pride and Prejudice, the Hades and Persephone of Drarry. Reading this made me feel like an unwedded Victorian lass waiting for her Prince Charming. It’s a wonderful Historical AU that throws around power dynamics and questions of who is worthy of love, freedom, and respect despite them. This is a brilliant portrait of deep romantic love. Harry’s dedication to Draco is all-encompassing, beautiful, intense, intimate— earth shattering, really. The way they fall in love despite class and situation made me want to cry and write poetry. This is a true fairytale romance.

The Pirate and the Prince by @nerdherderette​, maniacani [E, 49k]

Summary: Draco can't believe that fate and circumstance have made him a stowaway on the Master of Death's ship. He doesn't know what's worse: the dread pirate's legendary vendetta against the aristocracy, or the fact that his captor is the most infuriating yet irrefutably fascinating man Draco has ever met.

The moment I started this story I knew it was going to be an instant favorite. It’s swashbuckling, debonair yet disheveled, dangerous, fun, adventurous— everything you could desire from a romance on the high seas! Though they come from very different backgrounds, this Draco and Harry are a power couple to the core. Their romance is once again beautiful, intense, and dedicated, but this time it’s mixed with a healthy dose of self-exploration and mutual acceptance. But apart from romance this fic holds delicious secrecy and identity issues, an astounding knowledge of sailing ships, plenty of piratey shenanigans, some heart-wrenching found family dynamics, a cursing parrot, and a glorious angst with a happy ending finale! 

Soup-pocalypse and the Great Curry Cataclysm by SquadOfCats [E, 104k]

Summary: Eleven years after the war, Draco Malfoy leads a quiet, boring, and perfectly respectable life, thanks very much. Or, at least he does, until a sudden and very unexpected veela awakening causes him to throw soup all over Harry Potter in the middle of the Ministry cafeteria.

What can I say about Soup-pocalypse? It will lure you in with tales of Veelas and romance, and then it will kidnap you and throw you in cooking class and therapy. You’ll come out wondering what just happened and how two days have passed. There will, of course, be Veelas and romance aplenty, but it will be a caring romance, a familial romance, a supportive and kind and nurturing romance. This story feels like family, good cooking, sunny days, the deep heartbreak of change, and through all of it, the truth of a real and solid partnership. This is the humorous yet angst-ridden tale of two idiots learning to love as adults, and then in turn learning to face the world together.

you’ve got the antidote for me by Kandakickass [M, 20k]

Summary: When Harry Potter unintentionally severs their soulbond before it can fully form, Draco Malfoy resigns himself to a slow death and decides not to burden Harry with a soulmate he's made it very clear he doesn't want.

He's never been selfless before, but for Harry, he can try.

Right then. On to the angstiest story I’ve ever read and truly enjoyed. Not just enjoyed, adored! Worshipped! Come back to time and again whenever I needed a good cry! Here is the beauty of it: this fic is deeply painful and heartbreaking, yet it steers clear of emotions like disgust and discomfort. Never once was it disturbing— only sorrowful, in the purest and most heart-wrenching way. Yet despite the pain strung throughout the majority of it, this fic left me feeling relieved and rejuvenated, the way one feels after crying their heart out over something simple. It’s an emotional release that does not leave you broken.

On the Last Day of Our World by Sansa [E, 84k]

Summary: During a detention, Harry and Draco get locked in a strange room together overnight. When they escape the next morning, they discover they are alone. Love, angst and adventure abound as they struggle to survive in an empty world.

Truly one of my favorite takes on canon divergence. Truly. This is an exploration of isolation and the joys and comforts that come with it. It is the power couple Drarry to rule them all— a Draco and Harry so strongly connected, in love, and attuned to one another that the world could fall at their feet. This story leaves you on the edge of your seat until the very bitter end— one of those where the second things are briefly peaceful the world goes up in a new set of flames. Those of you who daydream about a partnership that needs no others, two souls who are each other’s family, friend, and future, and would gladly abandon everything to spend eternity alone together: this is for you.

The Arc of the Pendulum by brummel [E, 30k]

Summary: After his father casts a mysterious curse on Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy is forced to try to make things right.

Yes. YES. YES!!! The Beauty and the Beast take you didn’t know you needed! Still canon-compliant to an extent, this is realistic and raw and incredible. Draco makes the choice to help Harry here, and the vulnerability of their interactions while Harry struggles with the curse is everything you could hope it to be. There’s a distinct fairytale atmosphere in this fic— both of them confined together, finding support and comfort in one another while struggling through the effects of the curse, and falling in love along the way. I could write sonnets about the ending using my tears for ink, but they shan’t be revealed here.

Picking Up Pieces by Tessa Crowley [E, 43k]

Summary of Part One: Fifteen years after the War, Draco is a social recluse and award winning author. Harry is an auror who works too hard, ensuring his old war wounds never heal. They meet at a masque ball, unaware of each other's identities. In another situation, it would have been love at first sight. But for them, it would never be so simple.

Picking Up Pieces deserves no introduction, but if you haven’t read it yet, please find a blanket, and cup of tea, and a quiet place to read, cry, and recover. I sobbed my little heart out through the entire second half— the tears were really never ending. How does it end up on a reclist by a fluff lover like me? The answer is similar to Antidote— though this story broke me apart, it was never twisted nor ugly, never disturbing. It was an incredibly touching tale of redemption, forgiveness, human nature, and recompense. The writing does put you through the emotional wringer, but it leaves you relieved and whole. I would lay down my life for this Draco. He truly needs to be protected and loved at all costs. Even though I’m usually careful when recommending heavy stories, I would encourage everyone to read this— it made me feel new, it made me feel like I’d spent an hour crying in the shower, but most of all, it really did make me happy.

Two Trees by LakeWitch [E, 36k]

Summary (shortened): In his Eighth year at Hogwarts, part of Draco Malfoy's probation is to see a Mind Healer once a week. Another part, unfortunately, is having to take Muggle Studies.

It wouldn't be so bad, really, if it weren't for the mandatory outing—a 'field trip'—booked at a Muggle lakeside retreat for the better part of five days. [...] Draco is determined to get it all over with as painlessly as possible. He'll keep his head down, and stay out of everyone's way. That is, until Pansy tells him—at the very last moment—that she's schemed to have Draco stay in the same room with Potter for the whole trip.

Just the two of them... in one room.

This is the comfort fic of all comfort fics. It feels like camping, like sitting by a lake in the sun, like marshmallows over a fire and sparks against a starry sky, and cool, feather-soft hotel sheets. Draco is dealing with several different anxieties here, but the brilliant setting and easy plot turn them into a cathartic read. This is a fic about young love and the ability to build bonds on trips. It made me remember my first crushes and the feeling of getting breakfast in a hotel lobby. There’s cuddling, there’s love, there’s some highly emo Draco (both warranted and unwarranted), and there’s a truckload of nature. Go read it!

Your Place Or Mine? by @l0vegl0wsinthedark​ [E, 26k]

Summary: "This person is so much harder to hate. And I’m supposed to hate Malfoy. How the fuck else am I supposed to limit this to just sex?" 

At first I was like, “Damn, Harry,” but then I was all, “Damn Harry!” but then I went, “DAMN Harry!” (interspersed with a lot of whistling and cursing). I could have slapped him, and you will want to. This is another Draco that deserves endless love and hot chocolate, with a Harry that deserves a good smack. I think about this fic weekly, and not just because it’s endlessly hot— although it is scorching hot, like how do you even write something that hot type of hot. Draco’s pining and Harry’s stupidity makes for the angstiest yet most satisfying friends-with-benefits-but-really-there’s-more combination, and the climax (pun intended) and resulting spill of emotions is everything anyone could hope for. Ten out of ten.

The Courting by the Pureblood Who Only Has Five Milligrams of Romantic Intelligence and Thinks He’s Real Smooth by @cibeewastaken​ [T, 19k]

Summary (shortened): Draco could grab Potter and shove him into a stall before proceeding to suck his soul out of his dick, but secretly, deep down, in the part of Draco that he will never admit to anyone, he is (everyone pauses to shudder) a romantic. Potter is not someone Draco wants a one-off with. Potter is — Draco’s beloved!

So Draco decides to boldly go where no one has gone before: to put himself through scrutiny; their friends’ teasing and pranks; unsound romantic advice from a house-elf; wearing pretty clothes; all to try and win Potter’s heart through courtship...

This thing of beauty is exactly as hilarious as it sounds. However, it is so much more than the endless laughs (although there are many). It is sweet, tender, touching, and filled with glorious pining and misunderstandings. Inside you’ll find extravagant (the word was literally invented for Cibee’s Draco) outfits, confusing customs, a blanket that brought me to tears, one badass house-elf, one very confused beloved, absolutely no fornication (wink), and one hopelessly smitten pureblood. Be warned, this fic is actually three “What the fuck, Draco?”s in a trenchcoat. I read it when I want to laugh, facepalm, and submerge myself in the adorable stupidity that is Draco Malfoy in love. It is well worth your time and is sure to bring a smile to your face.

With this final fic we conclude my list on a happy note! It’s long, it’s tedious, and I had a spanking good time writing it. I hope these bring some joy or happy tears to your day.

Love, Vina 

#vina recs #oh my look a new tag! #long post #drarry #drarry fic rec

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

A short thread I found about Gojo's character that helps shine a light to how caring he is:

https://twitter.com/musikawu/status/1376984416485007363?s=19

Also, I actually just realized this recently after rewatching JJK that Gojo got super attached to Yuji really quickly. Gojo not only got very angry on his behalf but went out of his way to ask Nanami for help in caring for Yuji when he's supposed to be the strongest sorcerer. And at that time, Gojo made it clear to Nanami that he didn't ask him to do so due to Yuji's potential as a vessel. Gojo asked Nanami for this favor as an adult who wants to see the growth of a young man. Gojo was very precise in telling Nanami that he was looking not at Sukuna and Yuji's power, but at Yuji himself as not only an individual, but a child that needed nurturing and care. Before Yuji's death, Gojo had already even made preparations to have Yuta take care of Yuji cause he knew something might happen to him- even more development is that despite what Gojo says about himself, he's aware of his own flaws. What he appears to be on the outside is nothing like what he truly feels on the inside. He doesn't delude himself into narcissistic behavior that makes him unable to ask for help. He asks for help willingly and of his own accord- Yuta couldn't even fathom how the strongest sorcerer would face a problem he couldn't solve on his own, but Gojo does. Gojo is smart enough to know he needs to rely on others to move forward, and relying on someone means putting a certain amount of trust there. Gojo puts just as much faith in other people as he does himself, and the interesting part is that while it's more admirable to go out of your way to protect someone else, Gojo never brags about that. He only "brags" about things that will annoy the other person, but really he is only saying a commonly known "truth" in order to rile people up. It may sound like bragging- which it sort of is- but Gojo saying he's the strongest is not a lie. Him saying "I alone am the honoured one" is not necessarily a lie either. People don't call him the Strongest for nothing.

In fact, even more interestingly enough, besides Gojo, who includes Geto when people talk about the "strongest?" Despite being the definite "strongest," Gojo is the one who constantly says "We are the Strongest," not the other way around. He's also mature enough to recognize and point out other people's strengths, such as Mei Mei's, saying she is too strong to cry.

If Gojo truly was a narcissist, he would have mentioned everything else he's done for people, like stopping Megumi's sale to the Zenin clan and getting the Fushiguros financial aid. He could brag about being persuasive enough to save Yuji from execution or even saving Yuta from execution- Yuta becoming a special grade sorcerer soon after Gojo saved him is something you can easily brag about- but Gojo doesn't brag about his personal achievements at all- not in the way that demands respect from others, at least. Gojo only "brags" to tease others lightheartedly and to tick them off a little- and I don't think the demeaning things Gojo says to the higher ups can be used to show he's a narc because *many* people in Gojo's position would have said (and done) much, much worse things.

Also, when Yuji died, Gojo had become so emotional that even Shoko, who had been there since Gojo's youth, had commented on how unlike him it was. People irl really thought it was because Gojo couldn't use him as a weapon against the higher ups anymore, but reading how Gojo had told Nanami that he saw their relationship as an adult and a child makes me think differently. Something very important in the Light Novel is when Gojo tells Nanami that his students, because they are sorcerers, will soon have to "face the evil intentions of sh*tty humans." Not only sorcerers, but "every person has to bite into that bitterness, know what it means to give up, and pile up despairs to become an adult." People like Gojo and Nanami, Gojo had said, are capable of withstanding and releasing the "poison" that runs through the heart. However, the youngsters are more sensitive in that age, and "one poison could destroy their hearts" (I'm sure Gojo was thinking of Geto as he said this). That's why he wants to leave Yuji in the care of Nanami, "an adult who understands other people pain." Not that Gojo is unable to understand pain, but in the earlier events of the Light Novel as context, Gojo is faced with a mother who is mourning the loss of her child. While Nanami tries to gently comfort her and secretly find information on the cursed spirit at the same time using vague words, Gojo's words are straight forward and to the point, which startles the mother. It's not necessarily a bad things, however- Gojo's words had ended up allowing the mother to see her situation as it was without delusions, a tough love situation, so to speak, and the two were able to confirm their intel to be correct. It was Gojo who helped her to heal quicker by allowing her to realize her problem through his cutting words, but I'm sure Gojo realizes his "bad personality,"- which isn't really so bad in some cases- isn't for everyone. Gojo is very aware that people react negatively to his behavior, even if he is unable to understand just how deeply they despise him (*cough* Utahime) In that way, Gojo shows he cares very much for Yuji's mental growth, even in that short period of time, by entrusting his care to Nanami, who he comments would do a much better job than be could.

Therefore, I think Gojo might actually get attached to people more quickly than it might seem like. He also thinks very deeply and no matter how he acts, he's able to recognize others' strengths and acknowledge his own flaws- this is a key part of his character because he doesn't delude himself in his position as the Strongest. To those who think Gojo sees himself as a God, he is far from that behavior, and he is self aware enough to know that people need more to grow than just power and strength. Unfortunately, it seems most people either despise Gojo or are too enamoured by his looks to see past the surface of the more boisterous and childish part of his personality. That's likely the main reason he finds it hard to commit, too.

(More ranting 😭. There was this reddit post saying Gojo's narcissistic enough to be a more evil villain than Sukuna, that he would actually end up becoming the villain- like really??? And so many people really agreed that he's incapable of feeling true emotions that it's absurd. I really can't believe they even think Gojo has a God complex. Someone with a God complex, like most of the other disorders, wouldn't be able to admit their own flaws, let alone ask for help! The fact that Gojo even admits to having a "bad personality" is another tell against that. Sometimes I wonder if people are just projecting, but I also realize it's hard to differentiate between being an ENTP and being a sociopath because of how- on the surface- they seem so similar! But if you just dig a little deeper to look at their roots, they are so completely different it's a wonder how you'd get confused in the first place)

- 🤔

OH I COULDN'T AGREE MORE 🤔 anon here spitting FACTS. Yeah alot of people think gojo's a narcissist with huge ego but that ain't the case at all as explained above. I mean he was put on a pedestal since birth he gotta have some ego in that but that fact doesnt blind him. yeah sure he's the strongest but just one line "I'm the strongest" doesn't mean he's bragging it may sound like it but he's just stating facts he is indeed in fact the strongest in the jujutsu society. He knows he can't do everything on his own I mean why did he even become a teacher in the first place? Becuz he wants to make the next generation of jujutsu sorcerers stronger! No one asked him to do it he himself wanted to be a teacher even though at time he sucks at it.

He genuinely wants to do good not just for himself but for others as well. As interesting as the concept of Gojo becoming a villain it will never happen. Don't judge a damn book by it's cover even if it's a very attractive one hes just such an interesting character its shame most people don't see that.

#gojo discussions #🤔 anon #gojou satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #skipps chat

[strawberry1212]

The healthy masculinity of Seongyeom in Run On

“Masculinity” itself is a difficult concept, but in this post I intend on using the word less in association to a person’s gender, and more as a characteristic that both women and men can embody. For example, I think Mijoo has masculine characteristics such as assertiveness, and Seongyeom has more feminine characteristics such as doing nurturing acts of service towards those he cares about. I believe a well rounded person has both masculine and feminine qualities, and one set of qualities should not be prized over the other (as masculine qualities are routinely over-valued in our society). (This is a complicated topic, so any discussion on gender/gender expression is appreciated and I am willing to learn!)

The typical toxic masculinity

Seongyeom’s healthy masculinity stands out starkly in a Kdrama sea of toxic masculinity. I have made a list breaking down toxic masculinity tropes in Kdramas, but essentially Kdrama Male Leads (ML) draw their masculinity from dominance over others. This is usually in the form of being in a dominating position over the female lead (FL), such as being her boss, being above her in a high school social hierarchy, or she is under some contract to serve him. He also usually dominates society at large, being the son of an heir, a CEO, etc., some position where he benefits from the capitalist exploitation of others. The scenes that showcase the ML’s masculinity are when he asserts dominance over the FL through wrist grabs, backing her into a corner, etc., or when he flaunts his wealth (the typical scene in an upscale store, “we’ll buy everything from here to there”), and provides these Grand Romantic Gestures via his wealth (helicopter rides, renting out a whole restaurant just to talk to her, etc.). He knows what he wants, he goes after it, and he gets it, the “it” often being the objectified FL. As viewers we are supposed to swoon over the fantasy of being dominated by this rich, hot man. 

Seongyeom’s healthy masculinity

Now enter Seongyeom. Seongyeom does not really seek to dominate anyone--instead his masculinity stems from his defense of those weaker, and his commitment to his values. He is strong because of his goodness, rather than the typical male lead being soft/good in spite of his masculinity.

The core plot point is his relationship to Woosik: although him beating up Woosik’s bullies is a display of more typical masculinity, his overall protection of Woosik was not in that act of violence, but in his persistence to be held accountable for that act of violence. In the toxic sports world where violence was not held accountable, Seongyeom’s protest was not to commit the act of violence, but to openly admit it and force others to hold the act of violence accountable. He repeatedly states that non-defensive violence is not ok no matter what, breaking with the traditional toxic masculinity that a guy fighting for the girl or some other “valiant” reason is therefore okay. 

Seongyeom has a rare integrity, and his unshakeable commitment to this integrity is what impresses his masculinity upon the viewer. The hallmark moment of his protection of Woosik is again, not in beating up his bullies, but in boycotting the race, and coming forward about the violence and demanding to be held accountable. This action was peaceful, but incredibly courageous. He is protective (a typically masculine trait) of Woosik, but not through violence or abuse of power, but by having the courage and integrity to do the right thing.

When he protects/supports Mijoo, it is also not in a possessive way. I think a prime example is when Mijoo gets sick: it’s a classic Kdrama trope, girl gets sick from overworking, guy arrives to save her. Any other Kdrama would have him arrive just as she’s fainting and catch her. Using his wealth, he would get the VIP room of a hospital for her. But Run On is different. Mijoo is able to get to the hospital herself--she doesn’t need saving. However, he arrives to stay by her side supportively, and when the old ladies are annoying her, instead of using a combative method, he is his normal, gentle self, and charms them into being more quiet.

The drama’s handling of Seongyeom’s privilege

A cornerstone of toxic ML masculinity is his position of immense wealth and power. Interestingly, Seongyeom also comes from a background of wealth and power. However, rather than fetishizing it, as kdramas tend to do, Seongyeom is clearly separate from his family’s background. This is established from the fact that rather than simply being a CEO inheriting his family’s company, he has made a name for himself as a runner, having his own profession, with his own unique skills. The drama generally refrains from ostentatious displays of his wealth, and his actions for Mijoo are acts of service and time (bring her a glass to drink her soju out of, taking the driver job for her, moving close to her so she has to walk less, and overall being a kind, supportive little bean to her), rather than servicing his immense wealth to her . 

More importantly, it is how the drama handles the emotional impacts of Seongyeom’s privilege. Usually wealthy, but lonely backgrounds are used as an opportunity to excuse the male lead’s disrespectful behavior, to explain away his shitty personality, and also as an opportunity for the cheerful and kind female lead to “heal” the male lead. I cannot stress how much this trope disgusts me, as this “broken man just needs the right, patient woman to fix him” narrative is the kind of mentality that keeps women in domestic violence relationships. It is so harmful, and also serves to put down other women (I need to prove I’m different from other women, I understand him, I can change him, I will succeed where other women who were too shallow to understand his scars have failed, etc.). Seongyeom is far from a jerk male lead, but he still has emotional difficulties from his upbringing, primarily that he is inexpressive. Jerk male leads are also inexpressive about their emotions, and usually heap verbal abuse upon the female lead, but it is just brushed off as a “quirk” that the girl must put up with because she knows, ultimately, through his Grand Romantic Gestures, that he loves her. In Run On, his inexpressiveness is instead treated as a real problem that he must work through. He journals his feelings to work through them, and undergoes difficult discussions with Mijoo about his tendency to put up walls. It is shown as part of his growth, rather than something Mijoo must just accept.

Mijoo is key to Seongyeom’s healthy masculinity, because so much of toxic masculinity is based off of the female lead’s passive, objectified state. The toxic trope of Power Imbalance cannot work because Mijoo is a financially independent, career-driven adult. The One-sided Pursuit trope also cannot work because Mijoo is always willing to put in her share of the effort in the formation of their relationship. She meets him halfway, and maintains open communication of their problems so that there is no space for weird toxic male jealousy/noble idiocy tropes, etc.

As I’m writing this I realize maybe why I like Seongyeom so much is not just because of his healthy masculinity, i.e. healthy ways of being protective, strong, etc., but also because of how in touch he is with femininity, and vice versa with Mijoo both being a blend of masculine and feminine qualities. I really love this drama so much, and I can’t wait for the episodes to come <3

#kdrama #kdramas #run on kdrama #jtbc run on #ki seon gyeom #oh mi joo #im siwan #shin saekyeong #feminism

[killianmesmalls]

On your comments about Jack: ye-es, in the sense that Jack is a character who definitely deserved better than he was treated by the characters. The way Dean especially treats him reflects very badly on Dean, no question. But, speaking as a viewer, I think the perspective needs to shift a little bit.

To me, Jack is Dawn from Buffy, or Scrappy Doo. He’s an (in my opinion) irritating kid who is introduced out of nowhere to be both super vulnerable and super OP, and the jeopardy is centered around him in a way that has nothing to do with his actual character or relationships. He’s mostly around to be cute and to solve or create problems — he never has any firm character arcs or goals of his own, nor any deeper purpose in the meta narrative. In this way, he’s a miss for SPN, which focuses heavily on conflicts as metaphors for real life.

Mary fits so much better in that framework, and introducing her as a developed, flawed person works really well with the narrative. It is easy for us to care about Mary, both as the dead perfect mother on the pedestal and as the flawed, human woman who could not live up to her sons’ expectations. That connection is built into the core of SPN, and was developed over years, even before she was a character. When she was added, she was given depth and nuance organically, and treated as a flawed, complex character rather than as a plot device or a contrivance. She was given a voice and independence, and became a powerful metaphor for developing new understandings of our parents in adulthood, as well as an interesting and well-rounded character. You care that she’s dead, not just because Sam and Dean are sad, but for the loss of her development and the potential she offered. So, in that sense, I think a lot of people were frustrated that she died essentially fridged for a second time, and especially in service of the arc of a weaker character.

And like, you’re right, no one can figure out if Jack is a toddler or a teenager. He’s both and he’s neither, because he’s never anything consistently and his character arc is always “whatever the plot needs it to be.” Every episode is different. Is he Dean’s sunny opportunity to be a parent and make up for his dad’s shitty parenting? Yes! Is he also Dean’s worst failure and a reminder that he has done many horrible things, including to “innocent” children? Yes! Is he Cas’s child? Yes! Is he Dean’s child? Yes! But also, no! Is he Sam’s child? Yes! Is he a lonely teenager who does terrible things? Yes! Is he a totally innocent little lamb who doesn’t get why what he is doing is wrong? Yes! Is he the most powerful being in the universe? Yes! Does he need everyone to take care of him? Yes! Is he just along for the ride? Yes! Is he responsible for his actions? Kinda??? Sometimes??? What is he???

Mary as a character is narratively cohesive and fleshed-out. Jack is a mishmash of confusing whatever’s that all add up to a frustrating plot device with no consistent traits to latch on to. Everything that fans like about him (cute outfits, gender play, well-developed parental bonds with the characters) is fanon. So, yes, the narrative prioritizes Mary. Many fans prioritize Mary, at least enough that Dean’s most heinous acts barely register. To the narrative (not to Cas, which is a totally different situation), Jack is only barely more of a character than Emma Winchester, who Sam killed without uproar seasons earlier. He’s been around longer, but he’s equally not really real.

I debated on responding to this because, to tell the truth, I think we fundamentally disagree on a number of subjects and, as they say, true insanity is arguing with anyone on the internet. However, you spent a lot of time on the above and I feel it's only fair to say my thoughts, even if I don't believe it will sway you any more than what you said changed my opinions.

I'm assuming this was in response to this post regarding how Jack's accidental killing of Mary was treated so severely by the brothers, particularly Dean, because it was Mary and, had it been a random character like the security guard in 13x06, it would have been treated far differently. However, then the argument becomes less about the reaction of the Winchester brothers to this incident and more the value of Jack or Mary to the audience.

I believe we need to first admit that both characters are inherently archetypes—Mary as the Madonna character initially then, later, as a metaphor for how imperfect and truly human our parents are compared to the idol we have as children, and Jack as the overpowered child who is a Jesus allegory by the end. Both have a function within the story to serve the Winchester brothers, through whose lens and with whose biases we are meant to view the show's events. We also need to admit that the writers didn't think more than a season ahead for either character, especially since it wasn't initially supposed to be Mary that came back at the end of season 11 but John, and they only wrote enough for Jack in season 13 to gauge whether or not the audience would want him to continue on or if he needed to be killed off by the end of the season. Now, I know we curate our own experiences online which leads to us being in our own fandom echo chambers, however it is important to note that the character was immediately successful enough with the general audience that, after his first episode or two, he was basically guaranteed a longer future on the show.

I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure why the perspective of how his character is processed by some audience members versus others has any bearing on the argument that he deserved to be treated better overall by the other characters especially when taking their own previous actions in mind. I’m not going to tell you that your opinion is wrong regarding your feelings for Jack. It’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it, it harms no one to have it and express it. My feelings on Jack are clearly very different from your own, but this is really just two different people who processed a fictional person in different ways. I personally believe he has a purpose in the Winchesters’ story, including Castiel’s, as he reflects certain aspects of all of them, gives them a way to explore their own histories through a different perspective, and changes the overall dynamic of Team Free Will from “soldiers in arms” to a family (Misha’s words). In the beginning he allows Sam to work through his past as the “freak” and powerful, dangerous boy wonder destined to bring hell on earth. With Dean, his presence lets Dean work through his issues with John and asks whether he will let history repeat itself or if he’ll work to break the cycle. Regarding Cas, in my opinion he helps the angel reach his “final form” of a father, member of a family, lover and protector of humanity, rebellious son, and the true show of free will. 

From strictly the story, he has several arcs that work within themes explored in Supernatural, such as the argument of nature versus nurture, the question of what we’re willing to give up in order to protect something or someone else and how ends justify the means, and the struggle between feeling helpless and powerless versus the corruptive nature of having too much power and the dangerous lack of a moral compass. His goals are mentioned and on display throughout his stint on the show, ones that are truly relatable to some viewers: the strong desire to belong—the need for family and what you’ll do to find and keep it. 

With Mary, we first need to establish whether the two versions of her were a writing flaw due to the constant change in who was dictating her story and her relationship to the boys, which goes against the idea that her characterization was cohesive and fleshed-out but, rather, put together when needed for convenience, or if they both exist because, as stated above, we are seeing the show primarily through the biased lens of the Winchester brothers and come to face facts about the true Mary as they do. Like I said in my previous post, I don’t dislike Mary and I don’t blame her for her death (either one). However, I do have a hard time seeing her as a more nuanced, fleshed-out character than Jack. True, a lot of her problems are more adult in nature considering she has to struggle with losing her sons’ formative years and meeting them as whole adults she knows almost nothing about, all because of a choice she made before they were born. 

However, her personal struggles being more “mature” in nature (as they center primarily on parental battles) doesn’t necessarily mean her story has layers and Jack’s does not. They are entirely different but sometimes interconnected in a way that adds to both of their arcs, like Mary taking Jack on as an adoptive son which gives her the moments of parenting she lost with Sam and Dean, and Jack having Mary as a parental figure who understands and supports him gives him that sense of belonging he had just been struggling with to the point of running away while he is also given the chance to show “even monsters can do good”. 

I’d also argue that Jack being many ages at once isn’t poor writing so much as a metaphor for how, even if you’re forced to grow up fast, that doesn’t mean you’re a fully equipped adult. I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I believe Jack simultaneously taking a lot of responsibility and constantly trying to prove to others he’s useful while having childish moments is relatable to some who were forced to play an adult role at a young age. He proves a number of times that he doesn’t need everyone to take care of him, but he also has limited life experience and, as such, will make some mistakes while he’s also being a valuable member of the group. Jack constantly exists on a fine line in multiple respects. Some may see that as a writing flaw but it is who the character was conceived to be: the balance between nature or nurture, between good and evil, between savior and devil. 

Now, I was also frustrated Mary was “fridged” for a second time. It really provided no other purpose than to give the brothers more man pain to further the plot along. However, this can exist while also acknowledging that the way it happened and the subsequent fallout for Jack was also unnecessary and a sign of blatant hypocrisy from Dean, primarily, and Sam. 

And, yes, Jack can be different things at once because, I mean, can’t we all? If Mary can be both the perfect mother and the flawed, independent, distant parent, can’t Jack be the sweet kid who helps his father-figures process their own feelings on fatherhood while also being a lost young-adult forcing them to face their failures? Both characters contain multitudes because, I mean, we all do. 

I can provide articles or posts on Jack’s characterization and popularity along with Mary’s if needed, but for now I think this is a long enough ramble on my thoughts and feelings. I’m happy to discuss more, my messenger is always open for (polite) discussion. Until then, I’m going to leave it at we maybe agree to disagree. 

#long post #long ask #so long answer #guys it's 1 am #i hope this made sense #watch me read this after sleep and register things i wish i said #oh well #jack kline #mary winchester #spn #supernatural #spn critical #supernatural critical #kinda? #eh just in case #spn meta #supernatural meta #jack meta