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theluckywizard · 7 months

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HI LUCKY i am once again asking for a smut emoji prompt fill:

cullen / rose / 🛀🏻 / ❄️

Thank you for this opportunity to torture my blorbos. This is easily one of the most painful pieces I've ever written so weeeeeeeee. Also I did not do a final proof read soooo... yeah. For @dadrunkwriting Somehow this piece clinches all of the following square (kind of incidentally for the Whumptober ones lol) WHUMPTOBER BINGO: Pinned down, Aftermath of Failure, Troubled Past Resurfacing, Goodbye Note and Betrayal KINKTOBER BINGO: Begging, pain play (play might be a stretch, but there's a lot of pain during sex)

Rating: Explicit CW: Sex, sex while recovering from severe injuries, there's a lot of pain emotional and physical WC: 3650

Summary: Cullen is recovering from severe injuries after an encounter with Samson in Emprise du Lion in Rose's quarters. Rose has been nursing her anger and anguish for weeks and it all comes spilling out at last.

***

We’d found him in a grove above the Tower of Bone camp battered and unconscious, pinned to the ground with his own blade through his left shoulder. I’d grown so accustomed to waking to an empty bed that it didn’t faze me initially. But he’d left a note, a short one, and based on our conversations and the persistence of his ruminations and silent brooding, I knew, I knew what it meant.

Forgive me.

The flood of nausea was immediate. I was forever competing with his obsession with Samson and on that day it all came to a head. I’d asked him to stay at Skyhold while we dealt with Emprise, keenly aware of how deeply red lyrium affects him. But he insisted that he should be there to help deal with the templars and I couldn’t find the will to fight him on it. I didn’t have the strength to resist the force of his stubbornness. Not on this.

And I wish to the Maker that I had.

Even with the healing draughts on hand we quickly found their limits. They’d only mended him enough that he became aware of the pain and then all we could do is sedate him for the journey back to Skyhold. He’d need bed rest and the skill of our best healers at Skyhold to repair the broken bones and torn ligaments properly and it was an eleven day ride by carriage, stopping in every reasonably large Orlesian town to seek the aid healers with greater skill than those we had with us.

I had him installed in my quarters upon returning, ignoring Ellendra’s bloody impertinent looks and raised eyebrows. Maker knows everyone in the Inquisition understood we’d gotten together at last. And he wanted to work even though Rylen had it well in hand.

I’m going to allow him to compromise his own recovery.

Not after he denied me the chance to talk sense into him with regard to Samson.

“How much longer am I to be kept here? Are you my lady or my boss?” he complains, propped up in bed by the mountain of pillows I’d made for him earlier. All the contusions and lacerations have long since healed, but he hobbles to see me at my desk like a centenarian and I know I’m right in keeping him a little longer.

“When you can climb that bloody ladder to your loft yourself, you can go back to your own quarters,” I tell him, standing and leaning in gently to kiss him.

“You can hold me, you know. You won’t break me.”

It’s true, I’ve been keeping him at an arms length, clutching his hand from across the mattress so that I don’t accidentally roll onto him at night. I tell myself I’ve been terrified of causing him greater pain. But really it’s the anger. It nests inside me, burrowing deep, severing all the little tethers between us. I’ve been wondering if I’ll ever cauterize the wound inside me. It’s still bleeding.

He returned to a small measure of duty a week ago, taking briefs in my quarters with his closest lieutenants, trying to alleviate the awkwardness by complaining lightly to them about my solicitousness and the stubbornness I’d shamefully reasserted long after I should have.

I slip my arms around him gingerly feeling the anger squash between us. Sighing into the scent of elfroot salve and earth and elderflower that amalgamate to make up him, it evaporates for the moment. I long for a mutual squeeze, so I can squeeze the feeling, the questions that have been ravaging me into him.

How could you leave me like that?

Why didn’t you trust me?

But for now, I surrender to the comforts: his nose and lips nuzzling over my face, the warmth of his body radiating through our comparatively thin casual clothing, the glow of aurum in his eyes as the brightness of the whiteout conditions outside reflects within them. He’s recovered enough that the hunger of his body is readily apparent, bearing into me more than any other part of him. And it’s been weeks without his touch, exacerbating the gulf— real or imagined— between us. I can feel the sensation low inside me, my body opening to him, the yearning taut in my belly.

But the bell tinkles above us to let us know someone is below and I remember what I’d arranged. I hold up a finger and stride over to the stairwell.

“Come up!” I call.

“Come up?” Cullen says in a mild panic. I ease him into my desk chair and toss a blanket into his lap with a mildly threatening smile.

The first things that arrive are two copper tubs, carried in by staff I’d paid extra out of my personal stipend. Then comes the water, hauled two buckets at a time by a string of staff lengthy enough that no one has to make more than one agonizing trip up the six floors of tower steps.

Cullen sits pink cheeked through it all, no doubt worrying over what everyone must think of us, having two bath tubs prepared side by side.

“A little extravagant, Rose,” he remarks, a little tick of consternation marring his brow.

“Since you’ve been resisting more healing sessions, this is the next best thing,” I tell him, perching on my desk in front of him, his legs stretched out on either side of mine from my chair.

“But two tubs? Maker’s breath.”

“Yes two. And it’s not what you think,” I say and the bell rings again. “And now you’ll see.”

A staff member comes huffing up the stairs with two large buckets of crushed ice which they lug into my chamber and dump artlessly into one of the tubs. They hand me a palm sized rune on their way out.

“An ice bath?” he says looking at me like I’m mad.

“Ellendra says an ice bath will keep your inflammation down and help you recover more quickly. So you can return to your cursed loft,” I tell him with tense, scolding brows, bending to kiss him. I hold up the rune. “And then you can take a warm bath with me after.” I drift over to the warm tub and drop the rune in.

“Oh I don’t think so, Rose. I’m not getting into that tub of ice unless you are,” he says emphatically. He thinks he’s outfoxed me but never one to back away from one of his little challenges, I drop my robe, calling his bluff and swish my fingers into the shocking cold of the first tub. If it means he’ll get some proper care, I’ll do it.

Cullen shakes his head at me, hobbling over and I catch him halfway, looping my arm under his and around his middle to help him the rest of the way.

“You’re a terror,” he says with a scolding eye, undressing and wincing and fixing his eyes upon the ice filled water with anticipatory dread. When I pull the nightgown I’ve been lounging around in all day over my head, Cullen’s eyes sweep over me, his breath snagging his his throat and he pulls me back to him again. Breathing warmth into my neck, he rakes his fingernails over my shoulders and then my back like he might just take me right here, powerless against his own saved up lust.

“You’re not getting out of this that easily,” I gasp, when he grazes his fingers between my thighs. “But perhaps we can continue this discussion after the ice bath if you’re cooperative.” And yet I can’t find the determination to stay his hand. He fixes his eyes to mine as he dips a finger into me, gently, like he’s about to taste the cream on a dessert. I shake my head from side to side even as my knees weaken when he nudges my clit with the heel of his palm.

He’d been such an eager student, asking and practicing and remembering, my pleasure an unwritten tome to fill with his discoveries. And I’d been just as eager to find out what made him grip his bedsheets by the handful or groan open mouthed and unrestrained.

I will myself to stop him.

“After,” I insist, helping with him with his clothes which he insists he can do on his own. I wander bare to my desk for my hour glass. “We’ll climb in together and sit for the prescribed five minutes making miserable faces at each other and then emerge utterly reborn. Well. In theory.” I don’t bother with managing my reflexive gape as my eyes devour his sculpted form, his skin flushed under the soft spread of golden hair across his chest and the hardened length of his cock bobbing gently as he turns to me. It took months to convince him to stop hiding it from me and I reward his comfort by biting my lip gently before reaching up on my toes to sweep my open mouth against his.

“We could skip the ice bath,” he suggests, his breath tight in his chest as his finger traces down my upper arm.

“And render all the hard work our staff did moot? I don’t think so. Together?” I ask and I’m met with a pained, defeated expression. I slip my arm under his around his back and steady him while he lifts a leg into the tub, a sharp gasp snagging in the back of his throat as he steps in. I follow suit, standing in the tub fully, my heart fluttering in response to the breathtaking cold and reach to help him in behind me.

“You’re punishing me, aren’t you?” he says. The corner of my lips twitch slightly because the thought had crossed my mind, but no. I just want him to recover fully.

“We’re going to sit down together on a count of five,” I tell him and he sighs hopelessly, the tawny gaze that I’ve coveted nearly since I first laid eyes upon it connects with mine like it’s a lifeline. “We’re going to survive. It’s just ice water. It’s just five minutes.” I flip the hourglass and count down and then we ease in, puffs of strained breath and agony jumping from our lungs. We submerge to our shoulders and he tugs me to him immediately requiring a scold for cheating.

“Maker’s breath. Five minutes?!” he bleats desperately.

“We can sing all the known verses of Andraste’s Mabari. It’ll be over before you know it.”

“I only know two. How many do you know?! I recall you not knowing any that night at Harritt’s.”

“None! But I can mumble along with you. Or make some up.”

Cullen half rises from the water and I cock my head to challenge him on that move, stubbornly staying inside the bone chilling vat. He sinks back down wiltingly, glancing at the hour glass.

“How can we be sure any of our parts will work after this?” he complains, his teeth chattering.

“We can’t. We’ll just have to find out.”

We gasp and bicker our way through the remainder of the sands, our eyes trained fiercely upon the last grains that spiral through the glass isthmus with painstaking deliberation. He rises first— too quickly and I need to lunge forward to assist him out of the tub so he doesn’t exacerbate some strain or tear he’s still nursing. Stepping into the next tub we gasp nearly as much as we did in the first— the relative warmth feeling like it’s scalding our skin.

I insist on bathing him, training my eyes on the soapy wash cloth as I run it over each curve of him, failing to ignore the new scar, the evidence of his betrayal. The anger I’ve been managing so carefully jostles against the cage I’ve got it in. Swiping trails of suds over his chest then his clavicles and shoulders and around the his back, I can feel his gaze upon me, watching me, waiting for me to look at him. But even at this distance, I find my emotions brewing into a quiet storm, churning behind my carefully fixed gaze.

“Rose,” he says, knowing the way my face holds tension, knowing what it means when my quiet stretches too long. I can’t look at him yet, afraid of what might spill from my lips.

“Darling.” It’s softer. A plea. I let him tug me closer and allow myself to look at it, the healing wound. The backs of his fingers stroke down my cheek and then across my lips. I clasp his hand against my face, my eyes slipping closed, feeling the heft of his palm like it could erase some small scrap of the anguish inside me. Laced gently together in the warm bath, we trace wet fingers over and around each others twin scars, our thoughts circling closer to one another.

“Cullen—“

“I’ve been wondering if you’ll ever be able to forgive me.” We speak simultaneously across the short span between us. The silence aches while I search for words.

“I nearly lost you.”

“I know.” His voice is a hoarse whisper, penitent, his eyes glossy and guilt-ridden.

“I’m just scared. Of what’s becoming of you. This obsession of yours— it’s so personal. I’m scared there will be nothing left of you when all is said and done.”

“I know.”

“And it kills me that I can’t save you from this.”

“Rose. I know.”

I run my finger gently over the taut red line just below his collar bone again, made by his own sword. It had been a warning. Samson could have ended him. But he didn’t, like a filament of friendship still connected them even as bitter rivals in a war for the fate of the world.

“You have to stop. Let me handle it.” I beg him as though I couldn’t stay him with an order alone. But I’ve never wielded my superiority over him in such a way. Cullen’s ragged sigh betrays him. I find myself pleading with him. “I’ll go to Dumat with my best people. We’ll find him. We’ll find Maddox.”

“Let’s not speak of this. Not right now,” he whispers, touching my cheek. “I love you. Kiss me.”

I submit to his command, bracing myself gingerly on the edges of the tub to lean in and kiss him.

We pause to regard each other, the brilliance of his eyes muted to a soft tawny hazel in shadow but there’s intensity there. I know the need that aches behind his eyes, it aches inside me too. I want to drive our agony into one another, through one another. He crushes me against him, our mouths meet with unprecedented wildness. We consume one another, slipping and clinging clumsily in the sloshing bathwater, our arousal proof of life after everything. But ungainly in the tub, I stumble against a particularly sensitive spot and he cries out in pain. Pulling back reflexively, I give him space to stretch and he shakes his head at me, his eyes smoldering into mine like they could ignite me.

“No, come back,” he breathes.

“I’ll hurt you.”

“I don’t care.”

“Then let’s get to bed where it’s a bit softer,” I propose. At his nod, I rise from the tub and step out carefully, wrapping my shoulders in a towel before returning to help him. He groans and winces as he rises and steps out of the tub. When I turn to fetch him a towel he arrests me by my elbow and pulls me to him, his body slick against mine, wet fingers impressing into my rear as he draws me in and backs slowly toward my bed.

“We have to have be careful,” I fret, as he grazes his lips over my neck.

“No,” he insists. “I need this. All of you. Please.”

“Then let me— I could go down,” I suggest, grasping him firmly, his erection warm and heavy in my hand.

“Please,” he says again, tugging us back onto my bed. Even this short tumble elicits an agonized grunt of discomfort and I roll to his side.

“You’ll get reinjured. Your hip—“”

“The bone is mended.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Maker, Rose. Just wreck me,” he says, his frustration and hunger plain. I can’t help the way my eyes widen into unblinking shock at the expression. At the desperation that’s driven him to such vulgarities. “I need you. I need to feel you.”

Stuffing the unresolved feelings down, I run my hand over his damp chest, raking my fingers through the golden hairs. I try to regard him as I once had when everything between us was less fraught. When the beauty of his eyes left me dumbstruck. The way I’d marveled at the sprinkling of freckles across his nose and the sharp cut of his jaw. How I’d ached for him to be mine.

Leaning down gently I brush my nose against his, remembering that uncomplicated feeling. Willing it into existence.

“I love you.” I will those words too.

We lose ourselves in a kiss, so utterly detached that his slight groans and whimpers of pain disappear into the haze that holds us. Our cold lips and warm tongues ply for whatever’s left of one another. Cullen lifts my leg over his hips and we bear into each other, the pleasure surging in jolts as he thrusts past my entrance.

“Maker,” he gasps, as I draw my hips back, withholding. “Please.”

“You really want this?” I ask, ferocity escaping my hold, like my anger wishes to play as well.

“I do,” he mutters against my lips.

When he churns his hips against me, I tilt mine until he can push into me, the friction and our heat mingling, prompting broken gasps from both our lips. I brace myself against the headboard and ride him, the fury I’m desperately trying to hold back slipping out, suffusing through my movements. Cullen grits his teeth against the pain.

“More,” he begs. It seems absurd, watching him strain against the force of it, gripping a handful of pillow and another of bedsheets with blanching knuckles, but I oblige him, driving down upon him until sweat beads at my hairline and between my breasts. His eyes never leave mine, the creases between his brows deep even as he looks penitent beneath me, glossy with tears that won’t spill.

His breathing grows shallow and erratic, taut puffs as his climax builds. I relax and let myself open to my own, pleasure aching in my core, my entire body flushed and charged. He reaches up for my breast and the intensity of it too much and I snatch his hand away, pinning it above him and come, riding it out amidst my curses and exclamations, my thrusts growing more fitful and convulsive. I drop my head over his chest but Cullen grasps my chin with his free hand and asserts his fierce gaze, climaxing himself as I dissolve above him.

He almost never cries out, but today it erupts from him like a caged beast, his hips arching high into me, nearly bucking me onto his chest. He gathers me against him, grimacing and groaning as the pleasure dissipates enough for the pain to break through. As my own surges of ecstasy settle, my emotions wrestle free of my exhausted grip and I wash him in tears. The questions loom heavily even while his fingers tips brush lightly over my back, even as his lips press softly against my hair. His chest jerks from the same sort of restrained sob as mine, matching shudders inside our ribs.

“Why?” I croak the word out from where I’ve kept it all these weeks. “Why, Cullen?”

“I— I felt,” his voice breaks. “I felt it was my responsibility to deal with him.”

“Responsibility?” I ask, my hackles rising. I lift my head to smear the fluids from my nose and eyes and lay it back down again. “Let’s talk about responsibility. You leave me in bed with naught be a good bye note and offer yourself up to him on a platter. Cullen, you know what his powers are like. Better than anyone.”

“I don’t know what came over me. I— I’m sorry. I— think the red lyrium must have clouded my thinking.”

“The red lyrium isn’t what has you obsessed with him. You were ready to leave me over this. Forever. I’ve never felt more alone in these last few weeks.” I lift my head again to stare him down. “Do you know what it was like to find you like that?”

“I would do anything to undo it.”

“You’re my love. And Maker, you’re the commander of my army— and I don’t know how I can trust you again. Do you know how that feels?”

“I’ll make it up to you, Rose. I promise,” he says, reaching to clutch my cheek.

“You were pinned to the ground by your own blade. You were so broken you were nearly unrecognizable. How are you going to take that memory from me?”

Cullen’s tears spill over.

“I’m sorry, Rose.” He avoids those other words, the words he’d written on that too-big piece of paper and left on our nightstand. But sorry won’t cut it either.

I roll gently to the mattress and his hand follows, tracing warm strokes up and down my waist. I don’t know what I hoped would come of this conversation, but I’m left feeling unfulfilled, my grief and distress still roiling about within my breast. My next words escape me, petulant and resentful.

“You were meant to be the steady one.” I hear his breath catch and I regret them as soon as they’ve slipped past my lips. His sigh flutters and he swallows. He withdraws his hand, a void gaping wide between us.

“Well. That was your mistake then.”

#DADWC #theluckywizard #cullen rutherford #cullen x trevelyan #cullen & samson #cullen x inquisitor #cullen rutherford smut #WHUMP #Dead Dove Do Not Eat #Pain Play #Begging #Kinktober #Whumptober #This is going to hurt #rose trevelyan #in the shattering of things #roserford #cullen x rose

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elegyofthemoon · 4 months

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Spell your URL!

Spell out your URL using song titles that can describe your muse/OC, then tag as many people as there are letters in your URL!

OO thanks so much @cove-holdens !! This seemed like fun so I'll try ; v ; it's probably going to be pretty length though (> _ >) so i'll just put it under a read more

BUT want to tag beforehand idk enough people with ocs i think so i just toss it to @fayesdiary, @narzissenkreuz-ordo, @lemonbronze, @garlandgerard (i THINK you have some ocs sorry if i am misremembering), and whoever else I follow that has ocs :D let me get to know them!! (also of course no obligation <3)

I'm too fixated on my OC Octavia so here we go lmao

E - "Escapism" from Steven Universe: "I guess I have to face/ That in this awful place/ I shouldn't show a trace of doubt/ But pulled against the grain/ I feel a little pain/ That I would rather do without"

L - "Letter" from the Fragile Dreams OST

E - "Extraordinary" by Clean Bandit: "Am I the only one who sees what you've become?/ Will you drift away?/ We're running out of time, two wrongs can make it right/ Could I make you stay?/ People making choices, they can't fake/ Sacrifice it all and maybe say"

G - "Get Your Wish" by Porter Robinson: "Don't say you lose just yet/ Get up and move ahead/ And not only for yourself/ 'Cause that's your role/ The work that stirred your soul/ You can make for someone else"

Y - "Youth" by Daughter: "We are the reckless, we are the wild youth/ Chasing visions of our futures/ One day, we'll reveal the truth/ That one will die before he gets there/ And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones/ 'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone/ We're setting fire to our insides for fun"

O - "Octave of the Maushiro" by Chewie Melodies

F - "Future Friends" by Tilian: "Slow down/Give me a reason not to slow down/ I can feel the bottom and it's cold now/ I'm on the outside looking in/ So I'm calling on my future friends"

T - "The Hymn" by FLOYA: "I hope you understand that I cannot stay/ Don't expect you to feel the same/ There's a dream that I have to chase/ I'm feeling alive in the unknown/ Dancing to the hymn of the wind/ And though you and I are on our own/ I know you're close whenever I feel alone"

H - "here and now" by Tony22: "Here and now i'll find my hope/Yesterday is far gone and tomorrow never comes/Here and now's where I belong/So tired of using the present moment as my stepping stone"

E - "Eternal Sunshine" by Jhene Aiko: "Is it strange for me to say that if I were to die today/There's not a thing that I would change, I've lived well/ Maybe I have made mistakes and been through my fair share of pain/ But all in all, it's been okay, I've lived well"

M - "Miss You" by trentemøller

O - "Old Weapon Testing Ground" from HSR OST

O - "OUTRO" by LUCY

N - "North" from the Ender Lilies OST

#this was fun because i had to go search around a bit #askdfjahl i have an octavia playlist but theres only three songs on there 2/3 of them were listed #the instrumental songs are ones that ive mostly written to for octavia myeheh #or it just gives off certain vibes for them #speaking of octavia #i had a call today with my friend and i accidentally rambled (i was off in my own world tbh LMAO)#about transduction arc and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #but talking about it? it made me a little more motivated to write it #but HH WHEN?#ngl if i just dip out in june just to go insane in writing ✌🏼hbd to me ig lmao #but 'future friends' the more i think about it the more it reads a lot like transduction arc!octavia lmao #dont ask about the arcs im just rambling to myself LMAO #girls on a mission to destroy herself and shes only being stopped by the friends she kinda blindsided #oh god now that im slowly finishing this...#its mostly instrumentals LKAJSDAHF #okay only SOME of this ive written to #but theres certain vibes to them that give off octavia vibes #which is weird bc a lot of it feels like they contrast one another #like outro for example feels like the happy tranquil ending for them (fitting outro)#miss you feels like when they're lost in themself. which fits the vibe for octave #asdlfkadsjhaflk #tag games #again no obligation #also im sleep deprived idc if im posting about octavia here hi LMAO #and im about to do another one bc im just digging lmao #but anyways ~#to tag later #bc i want to put this on the other blog for octavia #and then dissect it out further lmao #for octavia

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you-know-id-die-for-you · 6 months

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Five songs that feel like Anthony Lockwood

L&Co. as songs part 2

Godlight - Noah Kahan

To know me is to hate me / Is to hate what I've become / It's to watch me as I'm fallin' / From that ladder's last rung

hill that i'll die on - Jonah Kagen

Even at your worst / You're the hill that I'll die on / So just leave a light on / For me

Glory and Gore - Lorde

Glory and gore go hand in hand / That's why we're making headlines

Youth - Daughter

And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones.' / Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone.

bleeding out - chance peña

My heart wants you to stay / But it's too late for all that now

#lockwood and co netflix #lockwood & co netflix #lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #save lockwood and co #L&Co. as songs

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lou1e · 1 year

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🚨🚨🚨 new ask game alert 🚨🚨🚨

drop your favorite lyric from each fitf song and let us see if you have taste or not!

and tag whoever you want to do the same!

hiii, god this is gonna be long,, but here we go 🫡

the greatest ─ “the way you know something, your face reminded me of a love you cannot hide, but don't need to tell me why. // Back dancing in the dark, back to the very start, finding pieces that can fit, making up for what we missed.”

written all over your face ─ “you're giving me that silent treatment, don't know what it's achieving // when we're finished saying nothing, can we please get back to loving? when it's good, it's really something. can we please get back to us?”

bigger than me ─ “yeah i might’ve changed, but everybody does.”

lucky again ─ “whatever gets you through the darkest night, just find the light out in the madness, hold tight”

face the music ─ “a story's made up when we're young to scare us. // love and hate are in-between, depends on your reality to see them.” “ i just wanna stay in the moment the rest of my life”

chicago ─ “they say bitter ends turn sweet in time, is that true of yours and mine?” “just because it didn't work doesn't mean it's meaningless to me. it just wasn't meant to be”

all this time ─ can i say the whole song? 😀 “i keep on building mountains hoping that they'll turn to gold… but the truth is, i still doubt that what i do can get me home.. when it gets cold” “our eyes meet... and i can tell that you're the same as me” “Oh, sometimes, sometimes, you lose your hope. // the friends we make, the love it takes… it's worth, it's worth, it's worth it all this time”

out of my system ─ “i only wanna go faster towards disaster every time.” “i've lived a lot of my life already but i gotta get through the rest.” “demons, i'm taking all of my demons, putting them where i won't see them, 'cause i just wanna feel alive”

headline ─ “i guess i never knew we'd have the shortest forever”

saturdays ─ “my heart might be broken, but i won't be broken down.”

silver tongues ─ “you said love was a pretty lie… and i choked when your smoke got in my eye” “when i'm with you i'm so much happier, nights like these we'll remember…”

sibwawc ─ “fabricated fairytales bring a new world to life.” “are we one or are we two? are we me or are we you? have we been all this before? do you see what i see?”

common people ─ “i came from a good home, a house full of terrace dreams… that was enough for me.” “common people, not who you know. just how far you're willing to go”

angels fly ─ “look at the horizon, does it make you feel small?” “there were problems in this empty bottle, at the bottom but we drained all that”

holding on to heartache ─ “you said i'm holding on to heartache, you said i wear it like a crown… it's gonna drag me down” “the moments never shown to us, because we faded into darkness… i can still hear a silence, i can still hear a clock that’s ticking” “i called you twice, but then regretted it and changed my number”

that’s the way love goes ─ “we're going out to end up somewhere we'll regret, ‘cause in this town it's easy to forget” “that's the way love goes, when it cuts you when you bleed, that's when you're feeling it the most”

i’ll tag @louis-in-red <3

#sorry i know this is too long 🫣#faith in the future #louis tomlinson the artist that you are #tag games #(?)#ask games

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timeskip · 10 months

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I guess I'll share this. Here's my constantly WIP Junpei and Akane angst playlist, I keep trying to make it over 1 hour but every time I find a new song I go "hm. This older song doesn't fit" and so it never gets long enough.

Some lyrics that stand out from each of the (current) songs:

0 (zero) (LMYK)

when i lose myself i become you / you are the moment i belong to / here without our names / we're back to being brand new / there's no need to hide, just you and i / until forever

Youth (Daughter)

one day we’ll reveal the truth / that one will die before he gets there / and if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones / 'cause most of our feelings, they are dead, and they are gone

The Beach (The Neighbourhood)

i'm sick and i'm tired too / i can admit, i am not fireproof / i feel it burning me, i feel it burning you / i hope i don't murder me, i hope i don't burden you

Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) (Florence + The Machine)

here i am, a rabbit-hearted girl / frozen in the headlights / it seems i've made the final sacrifice / we raise it up, this offering / we raise it up / this is a gift, it comes with a price / who is the lamb and who is the knife?

You Can Be Happy (IAMX)

you put me in a cage / in the daily maze of flesh and rage / but i will follow every truth / i won't let you go / i want every tomorrow

Human (Daughter)

my mind's lost in bleak visions / i've tried to escape but keep sinking / limbs lost to a deadweight state / skull cage like a prison

Odd Reasons (Donovan Molero, Moondough)

you left, i saw things wouldn't change / pictures posted to the wall / i'm taking down / it's almost fall / a summer's worth of hope can let me go if i / ignore the phone calls

sex (EDEN)

staring down the barrel / to the bullets l i can't stop / and so i stand off / like indecisions kevlar / 'til this fear of feeling stops and i'm done / but you / no, i don't know how to forget you

Tear Garden (IAMX)

at our root we're connected through / a biology, a universal cruelty / send me home / return me to a lonely womb

Clusterhug (I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME)

i could fall in love with you / only if you'd like me to / fall in love / darling, you're a holy quarantine / new romantic philistine / oh, we can turn around / we can burn this town to ash

Front Row (Metric)

he's not perfect, he's my hero / smashing the piano / spitting on the front row / chronic confrontation / psychic conversation / radical compassion

New Invention (I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME)

nothing you can do will keep the / bad things away from me until i fall asleep / bad dreams, despite your good intentions / the girl is like an architect / and i am just a new invention

For You Forever (Set It Off)

in the desert and the rush of ecstasy / falling for the pleasure / sick of painting every nightmare as a dream / wide awake, and she said / i won't wait for you forever, for you forever

float (EDEN)

i gave up my youth for this 'cause i wanted it, and / if you think that i need you then you're out of your head / but i want you / so bring me down and drown me out / i'll be waiting here when you're ready

Beaux-Mont (Last Dinosaurs)

we had so much going on / why did this have to go and happen to us? / and when my heart starts beating again / i just want to know, will you be waiting on the other end?

#order of the songs DOES matter but more importantly it's about the vibes

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imsleepmhm · 1 year

Text

CHAPTER ONE

*Yoongi isn't a idol in this story

TW: abuse, mentions of murder

* if I missed any tell me

_____________________________________

Love, a beautiful but treacherous thing.

It can be sweet and gentle or harsh and bitter, with the right conditions, it could make you feel happy or miserable. It would bring joy to your heart but will leave you empty if things don’t work out for you. It can make you feel like shit when everything is going well in your life. Love can bring people together and fill broken pieces.But most importantly, love is also cruel. Love has hurt people, broken hearts and stolen happiness. But more often than not, it’s the best kind of pain. For every hurt you receive you can get rid of any burden you carry, and give yourself a chance at what you truly desire.

Pain, in all its forms are just manifestations of something better that lives deep inside us. We cannot see it but we can feel it. Sometimes the pain hurts so badly that we feel as though our own soul is being torn apart and we wish to scream and cry. We want to give up all hope on ever finding someone who loves us back.We need to learn how to forgive ourselves too, because there is no cure for the suffering we have caused ourselves. No amount of time, energy, effort nor money can ever repair the damage we have done. Some say forgiveness is easier said than done but we must face the truth; some wounds may never heal. It might take years, maybe even decades but in the end, our pain will become something else, and we won’t even realize it has been taken away until it is gone.Sometimes we find a way to live past the pain. Sometimes we find a way to love someone again. Other times the hurt takes a toll on us, we lose our strength and sometimes we don’t feel whole anymore, we just don’t know whether to smile or frown anymore, whether to laugh or weep. Some people are lucky and others aren't. The only thing one can do is look forward to the next day.

..........................................................................

" y/n, I'm not playing with you. if you walk out that door you're going to regret it.", Jay says as I walk towards the front door with my things.

" I can't stay with you...I can't keep allowing myself to stay in a relationship that is toxic and abusive.", I say. It has taken me long enough to be able to get up the courage to leave him and I wasn't going to let him scare me our of finally leaving.

" Abusive? I have never put my hands on you." , he says and I can feel his glares stabbing me in the back.

" Abuse can be verbal to.", I say finally reaching the door. " We're over."

" I didn't agree to that."

Suddenly he's behind me, pulling me towards him by the hair.

" You wanna be abused so badly, huh?", he says throwing me to the floor.

" I got you."

" Leave me alone, Jay", I yell trying to hurry up and out of here. At this point I don't care if I had suitcase or not because those things can be replaced unlike my life.

" No, you want to leave me? You think you can live without me, huh? I got you.", he says and for the first time in our whole relationship I finally realized just how bad he was. I hurriedly got up and rushed to the door. But once again before I could grab the knob he grabbed me by my hair

and pulled me toward him, moving his hands from my hair to my arm. This time it hurt a lot, his grip was hard and his nails dug into my skin, making me bleed a little.

" You're mine." he growls holding his arm up high as he punched me in the stomach.

I fall on the ground, unable to breathe . I tried to push him off me, but he held me down by my neck.

" Do you hate me?",he asks looking at me while still holding my head up.

" N...no?.", i manage to choke out.

He laughs coldly before grabbing me and making me stand up. He threw me to the couch and I landed on my back. He was looming over me, smiling evilly as he leaned down, placing his hand on my chest.

" Then why are you trying to leave me?", he says slowly caressing my collarbone with his thumb.

" I told you, I refuse to allow you to continue to verbally abuse me. We're supposed to be in love, but this...this isn't love.", I say looking him in the eyes as tears started coming out of mine. There was a time when I was in love with him but now all of our good moments are tainted by the newer version of him.

" What do you mean this isn't love, huh? You want me to drop everything for you all the time? You want me to sugar coat everything you do so that your pride won't be hurt?", he says looking at me with disgust, " This isn't a fairy tale this is the real world. You of all people should know that. You should be lucky that I even want to be with you because no one else ever wanted you."

" Your're going to far. I.."

" No, you're going to far. I gave you everything and yet you act like you're better than me? Without me you would be nothing...without me you are nothing.", he says interrupting me saying the same words he always said when things didn't go his way.

" Do you really think that I would let you walk out on me like that? After all that we have been through? Who was there for you when your dad tried to kill you, huh? Who helped you get away from him? I did...I was the only one there for you...I'm the only one who cares about you...you don't even deserve it but I still deal with you." , he says wrapping his hand around my neck, his hold growing tighter until I couldn't breath anymore and I struggled to move out of his grasp.

" Let...me...go...",i gasped out.

" You deserve to die...just like your father", he said squeezing harder on my throat and pushing me further and further down. I could feel myself suffocating, black dots dancing on my vision. All I could hear was his voice, whispering all the things he did to my father and all the things he planned for me.

" Please...stop...", i whispered in between breaths. But I knew he wouldn't stop. He just kept talking to me, and soon he started hitting.

" You deserve this y/n"

"y/n"

" Y/N...Y/NNN!", I hear a voice say waking me up. I look up to see my friend, Jennie, looking at me worriedly while shaking me.

" Are you OK? It looked like you were having a really bad dream.", she says helping me to sit up.

" Yea, I'm fine. I'm sorry I made you worry.", I tell her hoping that my smile looked natural and not forced.

" You know, when your ready to talk I'm here, ok", she says and I just nod my head and lay back down, knowing that Iost likely won't be able to fall back asleep after that.

#bts fanfic #yoongi x reader #bts #fanfic

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koheletgirl · 1 year

Note

♫ + sokka or azula?

ok. well ok

tl;dr: i know it's over by the smiths for sokka, youth by daughter for azula.

psychological damage under the cut

i'll do both, since sokka is basically cheating. ive been spending the past 24 hrs talking peng's ear off about sokka songs, and this was the first one we talked about. so

i know it's over by the smiths. i cannot stress this enough. a sokka song of the kind that make you want to scream into a pillow. first off i love the smiths for sokka, you know, the mordant humor of it all... dont get me wrong sokka would absolutely hate morrissey, but it's still a good match.

anyhow. the way the speaker addresses their mother throughout the song. the despair. the self-deprecation. the the the way they just have to. keep going. uuggghh

"oh mother, i can feel the soil falling over my head"

"i know it's over still i cling / i don't know where else i can go"

"see, the sea wants to take me / the knife wants to slit me / do you think you can help me?" (addressed to their mother)

"it's so easy to laugh / it's so easy to hate / it takes strength to be gentle and kind" 🫠

"love is natural and real / but not for such as you and i, my love" <- you can take this line anywhere you want and apply it to every relationship sokka has ever had and it will kill you

and of course sokka lyrics of all time "if you're so funny / then why are you on your own tonight? / and if you're so clever / then why are you on your own tonight? / if you're so very entertaining / then why are you on your own tonight? / if you're so very good looking / why do you sleep alone tonight?"

anyway bye bye now catch me crying on the floor

ok let's talk about my other babygirl azula. do you want to talk about youth by daughter? let's talk about youth by daughter. it's poetic i think, for a song by a band called daughter to be so fitting for azula. what is she but a daughter

ugh god. "shadows settle on the place that you left / our minds are troubled by the emptiness / destroy the middle, it's a waste of time / from the perfect start to the finish line". well you know.

"we are the reckless, we are the wild youth / chasing visions of our futures / one day we'll reveal the truth / that one will die before he gets there"

"and if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones / 'cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone / we're setting fire to our insides for fun / collecting pictures from a flood that wrecked our home"

"well i've lost it all, i'm just a silhouette / i'm a lifeless face that you'll soon forget"

and the repetition of "and you caused it".... she is a 14 year old girl who had been endlessly manipulated and emotionally abused by her father. she loses everything by the end of the show - her family, her friends, her home, her power, her sense of self, her mind. she really is just a silhouette. and he caused it. and you could analyze it further, ask yourself who exactly it is that she's blaming here and is it the right person. but anyway

if you read all this i love and treasure you truly and also i'm sorry. azula and sokka playlists are both in progress love and light

#ask game #jupiter tag #um i guess i should add a warning? these are kinda dark. but nothing you shouldn't expect from. knowing the characters #playlist tag

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vanosslirious · 1 year

Text

BBS Dialogue Prompts #206

BBS Dialogue Prompts & Sentence Starters: [ 9 ]

SMII7Y

Do you want me to read to you?

Shit, I can't read, can you read this?

I never had that card, I was lying about that.

I'm reading a story on the fire.

Why did I hear myself?

Yeah, I ate all the food, that's why we're starving.

You literally almost got us killed.

We're actually nuts!

We just didn't appreciate it.

This has to be it.

I think it's broken, guys, nothing's working.

That was really aggressive.

As I was saying, please cry on my face.

We don't do that here.

You've been rolling with it ever since.

I'll finish him, I guess.

What are y'all talking about, and how do I get involved?

What is this fucking riddle you're throwing at us?

Well, he should've been better with his aim.

You know what, I hope you fucking die after that noise you just made.

NOGLA

I'm hanging tight, and so are all my friends.

That's the first thing you thought of?

My UberEats got fucking robbed.

Don't forget my strawberry milkshake.

If I go, will you open up a Pokémon pack with me?

You call this catering, my friend died!

Who the hell did this?

I shouldn't be laughing so hard, I'm a Christian, this is definitely blasphemy.

I was tired when I typed this.

I was sober for one day!

H2ODELIRIOUS

I have a damn stalker.

Guys, I found a door!

Don't say that!

We cheated, guys.

Don't come in here, guys, don't do it.

What did you just break?

Ah, kiss me!

I’m gonna let it play out.

Don’t bleed all over me.

Yes, go clean.

TERRORISER

It’s always been…

Keep doing that.

I got clubbed to death.

This is not funny by the way.

Let's make this ghost our bitch.

This is where you found me.

I hate your whistling!

When in doubt, get the glow sticks out.

All we heard was screaming in the distance.

One makes me money, the other spends it.

KRYOZ

I think mine's solid, but who's going to know?

Honestly, I like the company.

I don't know if we're actually running out of time, but it feels like it.

You make it sound so easy.

I'm gonna stand right here.

I need this most…you went the wrong way.

Let's be honest, it isn't fun if it's only this thing.

I'm pure positive today.

You guys really fucked that up.

Is that what you meant?

WILDCAT

I don’t think you got me out of there.

I did more as a piece of shit than you can as a real human.

Planting explosions until you guys get here, please hurry.

We’ll save you, just press the button.

You’re lucky to even be alive, what are you talking about?

Hold me and put me in the pod.

You’re so fucking dumb.

I can barely hear myself think, fuck you!

He bled everywhere!

You broke my leg, ow!

BASICALLYIDOWRK

Just die, kid.

We’re just floating.

You didn’t make it.

Why would you bring that mask in your house?

Bro, why is the cat staring at the wall?

I have an irrational fear of bunny rabbits.

I just want you to know, I hate you all.

You better still be there, I swear to God.

What does that mean?

There’s so many things to craft, where’s the little book?

MOO

I didn’t get anything either.

Can we kill these guys?

Just throwing things against the wall.

I feel like I'm in a box of lego's right now.

Okay, we gotta go deeper.

You guys just have to open your big mouths, didn't you?

I didn't know we were starting.

We lived.

This is going to be a long session.

Does this mean you like me, cause you want me in the video?

VANOSSGAMING

Aw, damn, back to this shit.

You went flying.

This is just to get the fucking teleporter open.

Look at him, he’s meditating.

Yes, get him, get him!

That’s the joke?

Who the fuck is this?

We’ll save you!

I just want to see, I don’t have any fucking torches.

What did you find, what did you find, what did you find?

#banana bus squad #bbs #banana bus squad prompts #bbs prompts #smii7y #daithi de nogla #h2odelirious #the terroriser #kryoz #i am wildcat #basicallyidowrk #moo snuckel #vanossgaming #prompts #rpf prompts #sentence starters #tw swearing #text #words

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v1i-jqn · 7 months

Text

be as mean as you want. i need to become a better writer.

TW: mentions of su1c!de, s3lf h4rm, and ed

cover this pig with a blanket:

aphrodite, oh goddess of all things beautiful.

it was like for a moment, i was too.

like you gifted me with something good and true.

like i was lucky to even have another chance with him

in turn of recovering from what had been.

i'm not doubting your work, angel of the sea.

i'm just wondering why you stopped trying with me?

i felt beautiful, even without product and glitter on my skin.

i felt like no matter what, i'd always be the prettiest to him.

i know you tried your hardest to bring him to me

oh how i have failed you, goddess of beauty.

i'm nothing but a disease without a cure.

breathing the same air as me is his worst form of torture.

i'm nothing but an elephant in a room full of mice.

i'll attach to your skull like a head full of lice.

the way i sit is like a rooster filthing up eggs.

the way i walk is as pathetic as an old dog with no legs.

and when i run away, i hear the sound of applause as i go.

for i'm more rotten than a gorey body surrounded by buzzards and crows.

i'm the way dry grass itches down your skin.

i'm the way crooked teeth look from a uncanny grin.

i'm the way coughs sound clogged with phlegm.

my beauty is the way decaying roots look after being pulled by the stem.

nothing more, nothing less.

maybe i never have been.

aphrodite, you know i tried.

i don't think there will ever be a day where i don't apologize.

i fried my hair dead, i painted my face dry, i cut my smooth skin to slivers, i starved myself to shivers.

all to feel like you.

unapologetically beautiful.

but i've always been apologetically delusional.

maybe this was it, your gift was eyes for him to see

just for a moment, something that wasn't to be.

maybe you sent cupid our way

and the essence off his arrow just couldn't stay.

i wish i could say i knew this would be.

but for once, i felt like i was something truly, and most incredibly pretty.

most girls grow up to be beautiful.

maybe i should be honored to know i'll grow hagard and terrible.

i won't look like other women in their twenties.

i'll look even worse in our thirties.

no one's ever before seen

something so unclean.

i can scrub my body till it bleeds and still look filthy.

it's remarkably disturbing for everyone to see.

but maybe the poets will admire how i've aged so uniquely

maybe they'll somehow make me romantic.

and everyone else will say "cover this pig with a blanket!"

she's growing cold as she's getting old.

and aphrodite, i'll do you and everyone else a favor.

so you won't ever have to worry about my behavior.

i'll feed off the romances of others.

and i'll make sure i never have another.

i'll live vicariously through everyone else

and be all alone with myself.

cover this pig with a blanket.

she's not blending in with the rest of the pen.

she'll never be romantic again.

cover this pig with a blanket.

the fair only have eyes for the fair.

for the clean, poise, elegant.

no one wants someone with running mascara and undone hair.

cover this pig with a blanket.

she'll be good.

she just needs to be hidden to do so.

if you ask, she would.

she wants to be hidden as much as you want her to hide.

it won't be a problem because people never truly want her.

no matter how much she wishes they could.

cover this pig with a blanket.

but don't do it too well.

you wouldn't want her to grow attached.

nothings worse than when her heart swells.

cover this pig with a blanket.

so unlikable and blue.

but if somebody out there was willing

she'd cover you too

so she doesn't have to be ugly alone.

she'll feed off your beauty like it's food.

maybe if you teach her a few tricks

she'll leave her basket untrue.

cause she's as charming as a rat stuck in a trap.

she's as pretty as the cheese that lured it in.

she's as nice as a cat nap.

and in his heart, she'd never win.

shoot the pig under the blanket.

well.... truthfully, you don't even need a blanket.

she's too damn hard to look at.

and it can't be cruel when she's just a pig.

when she's just me.

i'm sorry, aphrodite.

but if i shot myself inside this basket

i won't have to be alone for eternity.

and it will be even easier for him to dump me.

(feeling a bit too much like this scene)

#poetry #poems on tumblr #original poem #girlhood

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lyricalmelody · 1 year

Text

youtube

The song is about wreckless love. A fun youthful love. To go skinny dipping, skydiving, long drives, holding flares, graffiting streets

‘Setting fire to our insides for fun’ damaging ourselves for reckless fun because we’re depressed but also reckless.

Shadows settle on the place, that you left. Our minds are troubled by the emptiness. Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time. From the perfect start to the finish line. And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones. 'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs. Setting fire to our insides for fun Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong The lovers that went wrong. We are the reckless, We are the wild youth Chasing visions of our futures One day we'll reveal the truth That one will die before he gets there. “And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones.”

and if your still being vulnerable with your love, then you’re a lucky one.

“'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone. We're setting fire to our insides for fun. Collecting pictures from a flood that wrecked our home, It was a flood that wrecked this home”

destroying ourselves because of our vulnerability in love. collecting photographs that have caused disturbance. A metaphorical flood in the home, yet your heart bleed and overflow. “And you caused it, And you caused it, And you caused it Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette,

I’ve let myself bleed too much, that I’m a silhouette. A shadow not an object or person.

I'm a lifeless face that you'll soon forget, My eyes are damp from the words you left, Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest. Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest.” And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one, 'Cause most of us are bitter over someone. Setting fire to our insides for fun, To distract our hearts from ever missing them. But I'm forever missing him. And you caused it, And you caused it, And you caused it

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hawkstincan · 2 years

Text

I haven't been here a lot lately — and won’t be for some time — because the last couple of years were… Hard.

You know what’s bad about having close aged pets? They are getting old. And they die. And you have very little time to cope.

Tiger died in the middle of September. He lived with me longer than my parents. I’ve never had favorites. I love all my cats. But Tiger was special. He loved hugs. He slept on my pillow, on my neck, on my head, under the duvet. He was the cuddliest cat ever. Tactile, kind, he loved people and people loved him.

His passing was devastating, cause we at first went to a not so good vet. They misdiagnosed him. They insisted on prolonging treatment which wasn’t working. I felt like I was torturing him. He was in pain and I was giving him pills from which he was only more uncomfortable. So I found another clinic where we got an accurate diagnoses. It was bad. I heard the confirmation: Tiger was suffering for nothing. There was nothing that could be done at this point. Euthanasia was a humane choice.

I thought I had some time to grieve before the next loss. But nope. Couple days later I noticed a lump on Locha’s jaw. And just like that all hopes are gone. Locha is 18,5 too. They were born in February 2004. Locha is the last one still alive. Last piece of my childhood family. I don’t know how to live without them. It just feels so damn wrong. Locha is a special snowflake. He was skittish for the most of his life. Like yeah, human, you can try to pet me, but don’t you think I would sit on your lap. No-ope. You must prove yourself worthy of the honor of petting. When he climbed on my lap for the first time I was so shocked and happy that I cried. Just a little, but cried anyway. And it wasn’t so long ago. Three or four years.

So after finding a lump we went to the vet. They sent us to an oncologist. I was afraid that we may end up with money hunting again. I feared an oncologist would insist on an operation and biopsy (which is pricey and pointless in our situation). Thanks fuck that wasn’t the case! Oncologist was quite understanding. She pointed out that at his age removal of the lower jaw wasn’t reasonable. (It’s rather questionable at a younger age too imo. You can’t make your cat understand WHY they lost such an important part of their body.) And hence no removal you don’t really need to put him through biopsy. We decided to go with supportive therapy. He’s eating on his own, he’s drinking. He wants his petting sessions. He is still his grumpy old self. Thinner than he was, but not that bad yet.

Only this damn tumor is growing too freaking quickly. He can’t eat solid food now. Only muss. And it’s getting much more complicated with pills. If the pill brushes the inner part of the tumor it starts to bleed. And yep. I have photos and it looks rather creepy if you ask me.

I have no idea how long he’ll survive like this. It’s not something anyone can predict or guarantee. I just know that he has less than a year. Maybe even less than a month. And there is nothing more I can do. Only to let him go when the time comes.

So… I’m a mess. I am tired. I lost two of my cats in 2019, I lost my dog in 2020, Tiger and Tiny got ill in 2021, I lost Tiger in September. And I’ll soon lose Locha. Next year, if we are lucky but soon nevertheless. It’s inevitable. And I’m just falling to pieces. This is too much.

(Cherry on the top — i got into fight with both mom and dad and they told me that I'm no longer a daughter to them. And told to go fuck myself, so yeah. Healthy family.)

I’ll return when I’ll feel more like a human than a pile of shit.

Locha being cute, instead of grumpy

#long post #irl #sad #pets death #heavy topics #sensitive content #whining #sorta #i'm a mess #i'm exhausted

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berylliumliumite · 4 years

Text

not 2 be 2014 animatic on youtube but. youth by daughter tma

#crab speaks #WE ARE THE RECKLESS WE ARE THE WILD YOUTH..#CHASING VISIONS OF OUR FUTURES #ONE DAY WE WILL REVEAL THE TRUTH... THAT ONE WILL DIE BEFORE WE GET THERE #*AND IF YOURE STILL BLEEDING YOURE THE LUCKY ONES*#*BECAUSE MOST OF OUR FEELINGS ARE DEAD AND THEY ARE GONE*#* YELLS *#SORRY SRORY I STARTED HAVIGN AN EMOTION ILL B QUIET #WAIT #AND IVE LOST IT ALL IM JUST A SILHOUETTE.#IM JUST A LIFELESS FACE THAT YOULL SOON FORGET!!!!#AND MY EYES ARE DAMP FROM THE WORDS YOU LEFT. RINGING IN MY HEAD. WHEN YOU BROKE MY CHEST.#and if ur in love than you are the lucky one. cause most of us are bitter over someone .#setting fires to our hearts for fun. to distract ourselves from evER MISSING THEM. WELL IM FOREVER MISSING HIM #ok im dne ! im done ! im done ! im done ! im done! im done !#ill be quiet now but someone talk to me abt youth by daughter and tma im going to go ahjsdfdfhgdhg

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anxiousnerdwritings · 3 years

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Helloo! I Love your writing! your a amazing writter!! If you are still accepting request it could be a oneshot,maybe, if jason todd was platonic yandere with damian's twin sister (reader). Perhaps when she was a child she was deemed worthless, even by her brother and mother and ran away. And well, Jason found her and raised her as a sister (or daughter). Years later she meets her brother who lives with her father (bruce) but she doesn't want to know anything about them and Jason is not going to allow them to take her away either🤔🤷‍♀️ Thanks!!

Home

Worthless. Unwanted. Burden. That’s all you were to them. All you would ever be to them. Your own mother and brother, whom you shared your mother’s womb with, who were so supposed to love and care for you unconditionally, were the first to berate and turn their backs on you.

At least your Grandfather had been more tolerable towards you. He saw potential, something neither your mother or brother could see for themselves. He knew you would be exceptional one day; with time, consistency, and intense training, you would have a place amongst the League of Assassins.

But your Mother begged to differ. She knew her children, at least that’s what she said. She knew you wouldn’t amount to anything, not like Damian. And for that you were sure it was only a matter of time before she took matters into her own hands, so you ran.

You ran as far as you could and you never looked back. You never wanted to see the face of the people who hurt you the most ever again.

Never once did you think you would ever feel what it was like to be wanted, to be loved and cared for. To feel protected. To feel a sense of belonging. But that’s just what he ended up having to give.

He was there for you when no one else was and vice versa. He had your back and you had his.

The two of you were a team. A family. You and Jason.

You kicked ass together, taking names along the way. Tonight was like any other; an arms deal was taking place down at the pier. You and Jason were making quick work of all of them and it seemed like things were going without a hitch. That was until a stray bullet pierced through your left side.

You were down. You were bleeding. That’s all Jason needed to see red.

He didn’t hold anything back as he punched, kicked and shot his way to your side. He was quick to tend to your wound, having his own make shift first aid kit on him just in case of something like this.

Anyone who knew Jay would never in a million years imagine him to act so much like a mother hen but that’s exactly how he was with you.

You were always surprised at just how gentle he was with you. Nothing like the people you had left far behind, who would only live on in your more unsavory memories.

“I’m fine, Jay. It’s not as bad as it looks.” You tried to reassure him. You knew he wasn’t going to let you out on patrol for a few days at least. Maybe a week even. If you were lucky.

“I knew I should have had you stay home tonight. Now look at you; you’re hurt. And it’s my fault. I could have taken care of this one on my own.” He seethed, blaming himself like he always did when you got hurt.

“Really, Jay? There was no way you would have been able to take ‘em all out on your own tonight. Besides, we are a team. Remember?”

You didn’t give him the chance to respond before you continued, “I knew what I was getting myself into. I’ve been through worse. I’ve trained through worse. I’ll be just fine, Jay. Don’t go blaming yourself. Alright?”

He looked at you for a good while, staring into your eyes, seeing the life shining through them. But before he had the chance to say what he wanted to, a voice pulled both your attentions away from one another.

“Jason. Y/n. Are you alright?” It was only a matter of time before either of you would have a run in with Batman. You knew Jason had a past with the Bat but you still had yet to meet the Dark Knight. The man who was your father; Bruce Wayne.

Out of your peripheral, you could see Jason visibly tensing. It was almost like he was getting ready for a fight.

And as if things couldn’t get worse, Batman wasn’t alone either. His newest Robin was taking place at his side, much like an obedient dog would.

It was no secret who the all too familiar face belonged too; your brother, at least that’s what you once referred to him as. But now he was just Damian to you. Nothing but a stranger.

“Father, is this really necessary? Can’t we do this another time?” Damian inquired.

“No. We’re doing this now.” Bruce answered, never taking his eyes off you. Jason wasn’t liking this at all. Not one bit.

“Is your side alright, Y/n? If I could look at it, I’m sure I have something to treat it.” He said, taking a few tentative steps closer, reaching into his utility belt, but Jason wasn’t having any of that.

Stepping in between Bruce and yourself, making sure to shield you, Jason replied for you, “It’s already been taken care of. We don’t need your help.”

Pulling yourself up onto your feet, used to pain by now to easily push through it, you choose to speak for yourself, “Jay’s right. We’ve already tended to it. Thank you but your help isn’t necessary.”

It was silent for a while. Tension was filling the air, heavy and thick enough you could cut through it.

It was Bruce who spoke first, “I would like to discuss something of the utmost import-“

“Don’t bother. We’re aren’t wanting any part of whatever you have going on.” Jason interrupted.

Damian scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Like we would want you, Todd.”

“Damian.” Bruce warned. “I wanted to discuss this with Y/n, Jason.” Jason glared at both Bruce and Damian but stayed silent.

Taking a few steps closer, Bruce was directly in front of you now. Not too close for comfort but close enough to still be towering over you. “As your father, I want you to come live in the manor. We want you to be part of the family. Our family. Both Damian and I would prefer you to be with us. We can discuss patrol and everything else later, but right now there is a room already waiting for you.”

You looked from Bruce to Damian, to the hand Bruce had placed on your shoulder during his speech, to Jason’s hand tightly gripping Bruce’s wrist. You didn’t have to think twice about your decision.

“No thank you. Honestly, I don’t want anything to do with either of you. I cut ties with Damian and Talia a long time ago for a reason. Although I will admit there was a time I wanted to meet you, to see if maybe I could be a family with you but I came across Jason instead. And I couldn’t be more thankful that I did. He is my family now. And that is just where I plan on staying.”

Jason couldn’t hide the shit eating grin that had spread across his face, not that he wanted to anyway. The thought had crossed his mind that he may have to use his guns once more tonight ‘cause he sure as hell wasn’t going to just let them take you. He wasn’t going to standby and let his family be ripped away. Not now, not ever.

“Let’s get back home, Little Stunner. I think we both deserve some much needed rest after tonight.”

It was just you and him again.

Just how he preferred it.

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thefallennightmare · 2 years

Text

Rule Breaker-Seventeen

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: very, very slow burn, swearing, angst, fluff, and maybe some smut down the road.

Summary: Agent 16 or also known to her close family and friends, Y/N, has been one of SHEILD’s top and most trusted agent for the last 5 years. Her number one rule that she lived by since she started; don’t date your coworkers.

When reader starts working side by side with one of the men of the Avengers, she starts to realize how hard it is to keep that rule with Captain America himself, Steve Rogers.

A/N: Holy crap, a month and a half later and there's a new update! I apologize for the long hiatus but I'm hoping to be back for good now. Please enjoy and tags are open still if anyone is interested!

Tags: @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @vi0letblu3s @lharrietg @dontbescaredtosingalong @itsafansworld07 @sergntbarnes

“I swear if she dies, Rogers, I will kill you myself.”

“She’s not going to die, Nat.”

“She’s bleeding from her head! She’s not okay.”

My eyes fluttered open, but a hiss left my lips at the sudden pain. I could feel a cold liquid pool its way down to my eyes, over my cheek, and the copper taste filled my mouth. I could feel myself being carried in a pair of strong arms and when they readjusted my body, I finally opened my eyes.

“Steve?” I croaked out.

He looked down at me, a slight grimace on his face. “It’s alright, doll. Just hang on, we’re almost there.”

“I don’t feel so good,” I muttered.

I knew I was losing a lot of blood; my vision was bright and cloudy.

“We’re almost there, Y/N. You need to stay awake.”

Natasha’s voice was muddy and before I could stop myself, my body went limp in Steve’s arms. Darkness soon took over once more.

When I awoke again, I wasn’t in Steve’s arms anymore. This time I was laid on a soft couch, the pillows comforting my aching bones. The stabbing pain in my head, however, caused a loud groan to slip through my lips.

“Why do I feel like I got thrown into a brick wall?” I questioned no one, squeezing my eyes shut.

“That’s because you did.”

My eyes landed on the figure at the other end of the couch, eyes watching me very intently. His blue iris was clouded with so much worry that it almost broke my heart, knowing that I was the reason for it.

The dirt that previously covered his face was gone and I couldn’t help but marvel at the way his muscles tensed under his white tank top.

“What happened?” I asked Steve.

Before he could inform me on what happened, I looked around my surroundings more and it suddenly clicked on where we were exactly.

“We’re at Sam’s?”

The jealous look on Steve’s face didn’t go unnoticed by me but he still gave me a nod. “We had nowhere else to go.”

Before I could respond, Sam and Natasha walked into the living room, and I could see the worry lift from her shoulders.

“I thought you were going to die,” She admitted.

I snickered. “You guys can’t get rid of me that easily.”

I went to sit up, allowing more room for Sam and Natasha to sit, but as soon as I moved, the pounding inside my head intensified.

“Son of a bitch,” I cursed with my eyes shut.

“Hey,” Steve gently laid me back down, “If you don’t rest, you won’t heal.”

The softness of his voice brought warmth to my body and without another thought, I leaned back into the couch, allowing Steve to tuck the blanket closer to my body.

“So, what happened? The last thing I remember is getting blown up,” I asked.

“S.H.I.E.L.D sent a missile at our location causing the secret bunker to blow up. We barely got away,” Natasha informed.

“Are we sure it was S.H.I.E.L.D and not Hydra?”

Steve sighed at my question. “We can’t trust anyone at S.H.I.E.L.D.”

I nodded. “What’s our next move?”

Sam spoke up. “You need to relax, Y/N. You knocked your head pretty good. You’re lucky you didn’t have to get stitches.”

I gave him a small smile. “Were you the one who gave me this awesome bandage on the side of my head?”

His response was a smug smile.

Steve shifted in his spot, clearly uncomfortable with the interaction between Sam and I, so I gave Natasha a quick look. She immediately understood and had with a quick excuse, her and Sam were out of the room; Steve and I alone again.

“Thank you for saving me,” I spoke.

He nodded, refusing to meet my gaze. “I wasn’t going to let you die.”

Without a second thought, I linked our hands together causing Steve to finally meet my gaze. “There is nothing going on between Sam and I. We’re friends.”

He tried to shrug it off, letting me know it didn’t bother him. Working with Steve for so long, I started to realize when he was lying about something. This was one of those times.

“Hey,” I squeezed his hand, “I know things are weird between us right now but maybe when this is all over, we could give it a go?”

Steve’s eyes squinted. “Give what a go?”

“Us.”

His eyes now widened, and I noticed his breath catch in his throat. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “But you have to promise me one thing?”

When Steve nodded with a smile, I continued. “If we don’t work out, can you promise not to hate me? Or make things weird when we work together?”

“I could never hate you, doll.”

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes #captain america #james buchanan barnes #chris evans #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan #marvel #james buchanan barnes x reader #steve rogers and reader #steve rogers reader insert

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