#you do not. you do not fucking understand how big a deal this is for me. i can't just move on from that

[infictionalwonderland]

. . . fred weasley with it girl veela girlfriend (you, bitch!)

babe.

he is your biggest fucking fan

drooling and wide eyes when he even HEARS the click of ur cunty shoes xxx

genuinely stand by the fact he has shirts with ur face on

to him, you’re everything & more

no1 advocate for anything you do

‘yeah, love, you should do that. definitely’

‘mhmm, anything you want darling’

GRRRRRRRR 🐱🐱🐱🐱

eats up every single one of ur cunty fits

you look so damn good babe and he makes sure you know it

‘you’re the most beautiful girl i have ever seen, love. seriously’

‘if you don’t stop smiling like that, im gonna be forced to take you against this fucking wall love’

OOPSIES

HOW DID THAT GET THEERRREEEE

knows the whole school and literally the whole world is obsessed with you and is here for it

(but is also not)

he loves that people know how special you are bc you fckn are

but like

when he sees whores staring at you with gaping mouths and starry eyes he’s like

she’s MINE.

doesn’t enjoy people staring at his girl

10000% the type to wrap his arms around you and pull you back into him, genuinely acting as a shield for the stares

pd(bloody)a!!!

he’s a big big fan

obvs if it makes you uncomfy, he’ll understand and back off! your comfort is his main concern

HOWEVER

if you like it just like he does…

arm wrapped around you waist while you’re walking around

HANDDD HOLDING

he loves cuddling you

ur like his squishmallow 😘😘😘

he really enjoys showing you, all the time, how much you mean to him. how obsessed he is with you. bc he wants you to know

will readily admit to the fact he is very much on ur pink bedazzled leash xxxxx

he’s ur mf bitch ❤️❤️❤️

if ppl try and take the mick out of him for it he literally could not care less

and what???? it’s true

he would kiss the ground you walked on if you asked

if he notices you getting uncomfortable w ppl staring at you, he’s not afraid to confront them (if you want that)

‘yeah, mind looking anywhere bloody else mate?’

‘if you done leering at my girl you wanker, feel free to piss off’

if people happen to not heed his warning, he’s not afraid to fight someone for you

(one time he did and arthur got called in to ‘deal’ with his son—he gave him an approving hug and a chocolate frog)

you & the weasels are like this 🤞

ginny does not resent you bc ur a veela, IN FACCTTTT she actually really looks up to you and admires you, knowing you’re so much more than ur beauty

she’s wants to BE you

(apart from the dating her brother part, gag)

george calls you ‘little legend’ he thinks you’re great for making his brother so starstruck and mushy-goey all the soft things.

genuinely cannot wait for the day you become his sister in law 🤧

after ron got over his creepy little crush, he’s grown to see you as someone he adores (even if he would never admit it) and someone he really feels safe with

you make him feel wanted in his family and actually loved—for that, he loves you more

charlie thinks ur an absolute riot 😭😭

the first time you met you had pulled a prank on the twins, turning their skin lilac and giving them unicorn horns with fuzzy purple fur everywhere (human unicorns)

he’s adored you ever since

bill loves you like a little sister and fleur and you are legit best mates!!!

arthur holds you very dear to him as he sees how good you are for his son and how much of a good individual you are in general

molly was slightly hesitant initially

BUTTT then you knitted her and arthur winter hats for christmas, sent them with a cutesy note and some sweets and she knew she’d love you

(she really, truly does)

#fredweasleyisurseximinion

he wrote that himself xxxx

#fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #fred weasely x y/n #harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #james potter x reader #james potter #fred weasley smut #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin imagine

[frozenjokes]

I’m Really Sorry About The Whole ‘Crush On My Alter Ego’ Thing, But We Could Still Totally Make This Work

Grian woke up early to a harsh alarm as he had every day since Scar’s.. confession..

The sun hadn’t even risen yet, but it probably would in an hour or two, so Grian wasted no time getting right on his morning routine. Which is to say. Doom scrolling for at least an hour before actually getting up. Though before choosing one of many social media platforms to waste his time with, he checked his texts, expecting to find a meme or work schedule change from Cub, and instead:

Good morning sunshine👊👊👊👊👊!!! ❤️ Time to get ready for another day of stopping crime and KICKING ASS👉👊👊‼️⚡️⚡️⭐️✨✨💥💥💥💥 I would say I hope you slept well.. but I KNOW you did and that your going to have a certifiably SLAY DAY⭐️💥⭐️💥⚡️⚡️⚡️ I just wanted YOU to know that your killing it (👊👊👊👊👊👊) and you’re awesome and very cute😳 like cUtEgUy you know and everyone loves you❗️���️❗️❗️❗️Me included!! Can’t wait to see you today🫵🫵👊👊🫡💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 *dhoots arrow* HOTGUY

It went on for quite a bit longer, but Grian had seen enough actually, and consequently was no longer inclined to stay awake. This would be a problem for future Grian.

Future Grian was not very happy with past Grian when he woke up a few hours later, stumbling in his disoriented state to the kitchenette for coffee. Cub was at the kitchen table scrolling through his phone, and once Grian had the presence of mind to interrogate him, he pulled up the text, shoving his phone in Cub’s face.

“What is this. Did you have something to do with this? Did you write this for him? That’s probably something you’d do. What’s your prerogative here?”

Cub took a long moment to read, a small smile creeping across his face before outright laughing, “Oh, this is great.” Cub gently took Grian’s phone to keep reading, adjusting his glasses, “It just keeps going. How long do you think he spent typing this?”

“I don’t know! I don’t care! What the hell am I supposed to do? Why is he even texting me in the first place?”

“I’m failing to see how this is a big deal. He’s probably just sorry about the Micah thing and this is how he’s chosen to express that. Oh- here. ‘You don’t have to worry about seeing Micah again because I killed him. He’s gone.-‘ several explosions emojis ‘-I also tried to kill HotGuy but when I brought it up to one of my buddies who’s in with the higher ups he said No No Definitely Not Do Not Bring This Up To Anyone Else Ever For Your Own Safety so I’m feeling a little bit more insecure about my place in the world but that’s okay! I mean I know my life has always been in the hands of government doctors but I didn’t actually think through those implications until right now. You know me though, I’ll just keep doing my best! HaHa!’ Oh god. That’s a lot more text with very few emojis. Do these things not have character limits? I don’t think he’s okay actually. This just keeps going.”

“The- Okay, how am I supposed to be upset at him after you just read all that out to me? This is not fair. Can we just put that aside for later because how the fuck am I supposed to look at Scar in even remotely the same way after Micah- You can not possibly understand, Cub, I told Micah everything. We like- connected! And it was just fucking HotGuy the whole time! The guy I can’t fucking stand!”

“Out of costume I think he prefers you just call him Scar.”

“Okay. Sure. Fine. Scar fucked my brain! How can he even expect me to look at him the same way! He just let me think for all that time he was a different guy! Do you know how crazy that is? He talked shit ABOUT HIMSELF constantly! He tricked me!” Still, after a whole week to think about it, Grian couldn’t make sense of that. That he had met someone, made a real connection with a real person, but he hadn’t, not actually, because all of it was a facade. It was just Scar. But it didn’t feel like just Scar- it felt like Micah. Micah, who was just an act. Micah who he’d never see again. And maybe that hurt the most. That he’d lost someone like that. That he’d lost a friend. Someone who he thought might be able to be more than a friend.

“If it helps I think he has serious enough issues with his identity that he was not just ‘Scar but playing a character.’ Micah was a different person to him, I think.”

“Yeah.” Grian’s shoulders sagged, the idea not much of a comfort, “That. I got some idea of that. He was asking me a lot of questions about alter egos when-“ Grian cut himself off to groan loudly, “This is so stupid. This is so stupid. He needs to go directly to therapy for weeks at a time so I don’t have to see him for at least another month.”

Cub shrugged, “Maybe it would be good for you to see him. Maybe you should go in today.”

“How would this help me.” Grian glared, but Cub wasn’t looking up, still reading-

“I don’t know,” Cub said, setting Grian’s phone down on the table to return his focus to his own coffee, “I just kinda want you to.”

“Seriously.”

“I do. You’ve both been a bit of a wreck all week, maybe this’ll clear the air. And unless you plan on never speaking to Scar again, which is not practical for your work or your home life, you’re going to have to tear the bandaid off at some point. If he wants to apologize, you should let him say what he has to say at the very least. You don’t have to forgive him.”

“You- Are you in on this? I think you’re in on this.”

“I didn’t know about the text. Honestly, the majority of that message comes off as very.. in the moment. I don’t think that was planned. But he has a plan. No idea what. He wouldn’t tell me. It’ll probably be funny though.”

“So do you want this to fix me or do you want to laugh at me?”

Cub waved a hand dismissively, not looking up from his coffee. “I want to laugh at Scar.”

“Great.”

“You should go to work though.”

“I know your motives, Cub.”

Cub only shrugged. “Yeah, but I’m also just curious. I want to know what he does. Don’t you? Wouldn’t it be sad if he planned some sort of big I’m Sorry event for you and you never showed?”

“This is extremely appealing to me.”

“But then you’ll never know what it was. Or if it even happened at all.”

“Scar will text you.”

“He might not.”

Grian scoffed. “If you want to see what Scar has done so badly then you can go and see it for yourself.”

“You think security would let me in?” Cub looked a bit too excited by that idea, the kind of expression that crossed his face holding Great Intention. Always a terrifying look on Cub, and definitely not something to be encouraged lest he get himself arrested.

“I don’t know. Probably not.”

Cub deflated (a great relief), but didn’t budge on his prior sentiment. “You should go.” Grian rolled his eyes.

“Well I am going, I want to go, but I'm not trying to see any of Scar. If he wants to talk to me he can chase me down. I’m not playing into anything he has planned.”

“Oh,” Cub blinked, then looked back at his phone, “Great. My job’s done then.”

“You are in on this!”

“I maintain my innocence. Hope it’s a good day though.”

“It won’t be.”

“If you say so.”

Grian rolled his eyes, taking his coffee off the maker and heading back to his room. He dressed in his underclothes, grabbed his bag, then headed out with a passing goodbye. Cub’s focus was elsewhere anyway, getting ready for his own work. One day Cub would be able to quit that damn job. Now that Grian had he means, he was going to make sure of it.

…

With the ample warning, Grian made sure to steer completely clear of his and Scar’s offices. He intended on lingering here as little as possible, only dropping in to change and collect a radio.

Apparently Scar had anticipated this.

“Well hello there!”

Grian didn’t catch more than a glance of him before slamming the public office door closed, but had to open it again seconds later because what the fuck was Scar wearing.

Scar had laid himself out over the center desk, dressed head to toe in the most garishly abhorrent green crop top, booty shorts, and sparkly jewelry Grian had ever seen all on top of his uniform. ‘IM SORRY’ was written across the chest in neon pink fabric marker chicken scratch, a miserable failure at matching CuteGuy’s colors. The entire outfit clashed so horribly that Grian couldn’t help but stare, for a moment too long apparently because Scar took this as an invitation to continue speaking.

“CuteGuy! I had a rose for you, but you took your sweet ass time getting here and I got bored, so I ate it instead. You know how there’s rose flavored candy and shit? Does not taste like the flower. Would not recommend. Actually!” Scar rolled over onto his stomach, kicking his legs, and Grian choked on a snort when he saw the text across Scar’s ass said ‘WHORE.’ “I was trying to spit it out, you know, and I’m pretty sure my saliva is purple now. It turned my water purple. I might have poisoned myself.”

Grian found himself stuck between bafflement and a laugh, but he refused to show Scar he was any amount amused by this display, his voice stilted in suppression when he finally spoke. “Give me. A radio.”

“Sure thing!” Scar plucked one off the dock, spinning it in his fingers before tossing it across the room. Grian caught it, turning on his heel to leave. “Hey! Where are you going?”

Grian didn’t feel the need to answer, shutting the door behind himself as he went, but it wasn’t long because he heard the tip-taps of Scar’s boots behind him, not running, but certainly trying his best to catch up.

“Did you see my message this morning?”

“I saw it.”

“Did you see the part where I asked to take you to lunch?”

“No.”

“Do you want to go to lunch then? Later, obviously. You don’t even have to go with me!”

Grian scoffed through a chuckle, rolling his eyes. Ridiculous. “No thanks.”

“I thought so. That’s okay! Maybe another time! I’m going to go now, but it was nice to see you, CuteGuy!”

Grian frowned, not responding or turning around. If Scar wanted to dress like an idiot, that was his prerogative. Grian wasn’t going to be the one to stop him. He had actual work to be doing.

…

Grian liked how often he got to fly in this line of work. CuteGuy the villain didn’t fly anywhere; he laid low, he scouted the streets from roofs of buildings, he stuck to the shadows. ‘Grian’ didn’t fly much either, not without a reason. Sometimes he’d fly just like anyone would go for a walk, but he liked doing something, he liked having places to go. As much as he loathed superhero culture- and the whole damn city for that matter- he loved this.

It wasn’t unusual for a crowd to gather at the scene of a fight or crime, but maybe Grian should have known that a crowd this large, this dense, was a red flag. It had been a couple hours since he’d set off into the city, so his guard was down, he was in the zone. He had just assumed someone was hurt. That people were trying to help or panicking. Clearing the crowd revealed otherwise.

Scar was laying on the sidewalk, still wearing his clashing clothes, signing a book from a fan before shooing them away while looking distinctly like the two of them were in on some sort of inside joke. He.. didn’t have his legs.

“CuteGuy!” Scar swooned, drawing a gloved hand across his forehead, “I have fallen and I can not get up! I need a handsome and capable superhero to assist me!”

Grian cringed, but despite the majority of people having backed up, no one seemed to actually have left, encircling the both of them in a tight barrier. Scar knew plenty well how their fans felt about the two of them, (Grian had stumbled upon some.. choice pieces of fanart before) and he’d never miss an opportunity to tease under the scrutiny of eager eyes. Though, there was something beautifully normal about that; the teasing, the invitation of banter. The kind of normalcy you long for, even when things aren’t well. (Even when Micah was never real, even after you lost a friend.)

“You’re plenty capable. This is a severe waste of my time.” Grian flapped his wings, not intending on leaving, just needing more space from the onlookers.

Scar watched him carefully, delight dancing across his face when he realized that Grian was going to stay. “Well of course, of course, but going all that distance walking on my hands? No no, I don’t think so! I don’t even want to think about the kinds of calluses I’d get! And it would take hours.”

“Serves you right. Did you make sure that call only wired to me?” Grian huffed, making a grand show of his annoyance since Scar couldn’t see the roll of his eyes. And.. well.. he couldn’t quite help himself with the crowd. Everyone gets a kick out of dramatics sometimes. “Where’d your legs run off to anyway?”

“Oh! Funny story! The Goat took them.”

“You paid him to do that?”

“That would have been a really good idea! But no. He just happened to see me, and after laughing at me for like ten minutes he said ‘iF yOu aRen’t uSinG thEsE tHen I wiLL’ like he does, you know him. It was a little ominous actually. I’m a bit worried. My doctors are going to be pissed when they find out, so personally, I would rather be delivering this news with legs in hand.”

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah. It’s not ideal. If it wasn’t already clear, I’m going to need help getting them back.”

“I hope you know how unbelievably a ‘you problem’ this is because I am not helping. Good luck hunting him down. First I’d recommend calling someone to bring you your chair.”

“No!” Scar jolted upright, proving just how capable he was of not laying pathetically on the concrete, “I want you! Look, look at me. Listen. Close your eyes.”

Grian made a face, scoffing to hide the hint of amusement that was threatening to show in his expression. “Do you want me to look at you or do you want me to close my eyes.”

“Listen. Imagine. HotGuy and CuteGuy: Dynamic Duo-!”

“This sounds awful.”

“-I’m up on your shoulders, we’re infiltrating The Goat’s home base together! You’re punching bad guys and I’m shooting my bow from above-“

“And how do you think you’re going to hang on, huh?” Grian interrupted, tapping his foot.

“Obviously I’d-“ Scar moved, seeming to realize too late he didn’t have the legs he was planning on using. This did not deter him, a sharp smirk splitting his smile, “Velcro!”

Grian snorted despite himself, “Yeah. That’d be perfect, wouldn’t it. I foresee zero issues.” With a great irritation that gripped him out of nowhere, Grian was suddenly aware of other voices, the crowd, speaking loudly amongst themselves. Someone started to chant his name. Another chanted ‘Velcro!’ That caught on much faster. Grian flapped his wings far more aggressively when the crowd began to close in, hitting civilians out of his personal bubble, but this didn’t seem to be very effective, anxiety crawling under his skin as the attention started to be too much. Scar seemed to notice, but despite his efforts to control the onlookers, they were too rowdy, too caught up in their excitement to listen.

“Goodbye.” Grian hissed, straining to be heard, and Scar half-shrugged, a possible attempt at apology.

“So that’s a no, then? You’ll fetch my legs at least, will you?”

“No.” Grian beat his wings hard, forcing civilians out of his way and prepping to take off.

“Oh! Okay! Have a nice day then!”

Grian was gone before he could hear another word, before any other body could brush the backs of his wings. Anger painfully out of proportion boiled in his stomach, spilling out and staining the rest of his insides in its pulsing fire. He wasn’t angry at Scar. Well. He could certainly blame Scar, luring him around and speaking like that, stoking the fire of fans who adored the both of them, but Grian hadn’t minded the show, he hadn’t even cared all too much that he’d been tricked, not when the resulting interaction felt so.. normal. He liked an act. He liked being CuteGuy. So why was he so upset? And maybe that was it. He was just angry for no reason, and that made him angrier, because despite everything, despite trying so damn hard, he was still broken.

He could punch someone about it. He wanted to punch someone about it. Cub wouldn’t want him to.

So he flew instead. Flew like he liked, fast and far and high until the air was too thin, then let himself fall, playing games with his life as he hurtled through the sky before catching himself under spread wings and doing all of it over again. Eventually he got tired. Eventually he had to stop. But the aftermath of a senseless episode still buzzed under his skin, nearly as unpleasant as the burn that caused it. Grian could feel it. He could feel it under his skin. He wanted to tear it out. He wanted to fly, exhaust himself until he couldn’t feel anything at all, but he was too tired, so instead he found himself gliding to Cub’s workplace. He didn’t know where else to go.

“CuteGuy-“ Cub’s manager was frightened by his sudden entrance, stumbling through the front door aggressively enough to rattle the attached bell into senseless noise.

“Hello Diane.”

“How do-“ but Grian cut her off with a frustrated groan, not caring to listen as he dragged himself to the back. Cub looked even more startled to see him than his manager did, though surprise quickly melted into concern when Grian collapsed into a pile of cardboard boxes. He grunted. They were not as soft as they looked.

“Ah CuteGuy, friend of HotGuy who I am friends with and know for this reason- it’s fine Diane, it’s fine, let me just- I can handle it.” Grian heard the soft arguing from the doorway, but didn’t care to say anything. He didn’t care to think. He just wanted to be better.

Eventually the door closed.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Cub’s hand flew to his shoulder and Grian viscerally cringed, lips parting in silent discomfort until the hand was swiftly drawn back, “I’m sorry. Do you need me to call an ambulance? Are you okay? You’re not okay.”

“I’m not hurt,” Grian mumbled, narrowing his eyes against Cub’s panicked expression in his peripherie. “Angry. Stupid.”

Cub jolted in his recognition, gears shifting immediately. “Scar, then. Was it Scar? I mean, I can’t say I haven’t been keeping tabs on the news- social media, the like. I’ve seen more than a few videos- people are going kinda nuts over nothing in my opinion but- It was too much. I’ll tell Scar to stop bugging you, he’ll stop.”

“It’s not Scar. I don’t care about Scar.”

Cub made a bit of a face, enough for Grian to tell he wasn’t so sure about that, but Cub didn’t voice the thought, instead asking, “What happened?”

“Nothing happened. Nothing.”

“Is- I’m struggling a little with the tone, man.”

“I don’t know! I was fine, I was kinda having fun and then I just wasn’t and out of nowhere everything just sucked and I was so mad and that’s not supposed to happen to me! Nothing happened and I wanted to rip out my hair and punch things and I didn’t, but now I just feel stupid! Why is my brain so fucking dumb.”

Grian let his head drop, face down in a pile of cardboard, but Cub didn’t move, intense in his silence. Eventually he sat down, right on the floor. “I need to break these down anyway,” he hummed, almost subconsciously as he leaned to grab something off his desk. The next couple minutes were filled with the sound of a boxcutter against tape and cardboard. It wasn’t awful.

“Do you want to know what I think?” Cub asked, not much more than a whisper. Not like he was sad or anything either, just focused on the task at hand.

“Okay,” Grian mumbled, the word coming out entirely indecipherable as anything but a noise of assent.

“I think you were nervous this morning. I think maybe you had an alright day, but got overwhelmed near the end. You can be having a good time and still get overwhelmed. There were a lot of people around you from what I could tell; it looked kinda claustrophobic.”

“But I didn’t- I didn’t care. It was like a switch in my brain just flipped! No build up!”

“Sometimes that’s how it happens. Sometimes there is build up and you just don’t notice until it’s too late. It’s not always so simply defined. There’s not always a reason. And there doesn’t have to be. You’re not regressing because you had a bad day, Grian. You’re not stupid.”

“I feel awful.”

Out of the corner of Grian’s eye, he saw Cub nod. “Yeah. I get it.” Cub continued with the boxes and Grian didn’t speak, only shuffling a little to grant easier access to the few he was laying on. But Cub stopped almost abruptly after breaking down one box, the room blanketed in a meaningful silence. “Have I told you yet? How damn proud of you I am?”

The question jolted Grian out of his daze. He didn’t know what to say. How to respond. “I haven’t done anything.”

“Of course you have. You’ve been dealt a pretty shitty hand of cards, but you haven’t stopped working with them. You haven’t given up. And you have your moments, you have bad weeks, bad months, but you still pick yourself back up at the end of today. I think you’ve grown. I don’t think Grian from a couple months ago would have walked away from the crowd and taken his anger somewhere better. I don’t think Grian from a couple months ago would have come to me. I respect you, Grian. You’ve come so damn far. I’m proud of you.”

Grian shook his head. “I haven’t done anything. It’s all you. I don’t pick myself up at all, you’re just pushing me back on my feet.”

“I haven’t known a single person that overcomes any of these kinds of challenges without support. That doesn’t make you any less capable, Grian. You’re still standing on your own two feet. I am proud of you.”

Discomfort burned in Grian’s chest. Cub didn’t get it. He didn’t understand. “It’s all for you. I’m only here because of you.”

“Having a strong motivator doesn’t discount all the hard work you’ve put in for yourself. You want to be better, Grian. You give your blood, sweat, and tears to make it happen. I’m not just dragging you along. You go to therapy and work your ass off. You keep track of your meds. You make the decision to walk away when all of you wants to haul off and kick someone’s shit in. You do it. You. And maybe most impressively, every time you fail, get arrested, relapse into old behavior, you peel yourself right off the concrete and try again. And there’s nothing harder than that. So that’s why I’m proud. That’s why I will always be proud. You’re a good man, Grian. You’re good.”

Grian didn’t know what to do with that. A soft chill rippled through his form, shaking him in his entirety despite its gentle nature. All of him felt so heavy. His lungs were full of lead.

“Can I have a hug?” A meek question, but he didn’t care.

“Of course.”

Cub’s touch sent another wave of coolness riding through his veins, contracting his muscles, making him sick and heavy and limp. And then, slowly, a steady march that began in his chest and spread outward; warmth. A soft, perfect warmth. The kind of love that could make anyone believe they were something to be proud of.

#hermitcraft #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #hotguy #grian #cuteguy #cubfan135 #scarian #desert duo #convex #convexian #hermitshipping #hermitfic

[beesmygod]

today is webcomics day. i am bea and i make "A Ghost Story" - part 1: pre-gaming

webcomic day is a yearly celebration of the art form concocted by the screentones podcast team as a way for people to see how the sausage gets made. my webcomic "a ghost story" has been running for over 10 years, and yet i still don't think i can say i am good at making a webcomic. regardless, the comic is getting made because otherwise i become very, very sick in the head. today i would like to share with you the process of making a page of "A Ghost Story" from start to finish. either this demystifies the process or will make you think im so cool and strong for doing this 2x a week. instead of reblogging this one post until it gets very long, i will be posting individual updates that i will then compile and post on my personal website. block the tags now if you HATE comics and want them to EXPLODE.

if you have any questions, even things like "what the fuck are you even talking about" feel free to ask. i want to feel confident in what i make again and i think sometimes interrogation from an outside source is really

---

that said, let's get started. wait just kidding i want a cup of coffee first, hold on.

ok now im ready. i have a big glass of water. i have coffee. i have a headset for the parts of work that don't involve typing words. i can't type words and listen to some streamer babble in my ear at the same time, so it has to be instrumental music or nothing. i just took my meds so they should kick in after about 30 mins. i woke up late today, which is weird and annoying. but maybe i can work late instead.

first off, i need to know where i'm going beyond this one page. if i dont know where im going with something, then i usually create something that sucks that i have to deal with later. hold on my internet died, i have to reset the router. ok, anyway.

what's rattling around in my brain is that not only do i have to deal with maxine's current predicament, i am also dealing with multiple plot elements i need to wrap back around to from the previous chapter. luckily, im about to put maxine down for a nap, which means i can get back to those other elements:

i need to finish the exposition from the three ankou characters for this story arc establishing their motivations as the oppositional force in the story. the "villain" is not these three specifically, but their boss. they need to have a loose understanding of what's going on in order to communicate this to the audience. god this started turning into a huge ass paragraph so i'll just keep it short there.

we've jumped back to before jack's horrible day from the first chapter of this storyline so we have to make our way back toward that and then lapping it, which means wrapping up his various open threads like:

feeding victoria and learning something new about her

finding out alice is a very exceptional employee who is getting many awards

watching valdo call lily while interrupting her during something personal to ask her for help with maxine's situation.

jack meeting with valdo and lily the day after they first met so jack can just tell them straight up that lily has 4 sisters she doesnt know about.

help that girl with her poltergeist problem. remember that. i've had jokes for this rattling in my head for like 4 years. im going insane.

and also the fucking tilberi!!! that has a point its going somewhere!!! there's a larger menace here!!!

other things to set up the climax of this storyline. sexual tensions, hints at larger emotional problems not immediately evident to the reader

lots of moving parts. and i feel like im moving in slow motion to get to them. i can see them all weaving together in my head, its the process of putting that onto paper that's proving difficult.

ok that took an hour starting and stopping. -_- let me write the next part as i keep brainstorming on how to approach this page. taking a "rubber duck" approach to this might help. heres an image from the last page i worked on (i have a 5 page buffer rn so the site does not match the finished pages) to get us semi-situated.

also because images will help people understand what skill level we're working with here. i need to be able to communicate an idea to the audience; if the art also looks good on top of that, then that's just an added bonus. but the ability to communicate my ideas is sometimes hampered by my lack of artistic skill or comics language ineptitude. like those speech bubbles kind of fucking suck but at a certain point you have to just hit print on what you're working on in order to keep your already glacial pace.

webcomics is a tightrope act where you're also spinning 4 plates at once. the trick is to keep the audience from realizing how many actually fall or how wobbly they all are. the act sucks but technically its not a failure.

#a ghost story #webcomics #webcomic #webcomic day

[turnoutthe-lights]

love is a kaleidoscope - e. williams

Tags: Reader has no specified gender, angsty question mark, rocky relationship, some use of profanity (please take this lightly. like grain of salt lightly.), ellie is kind of ooc i think, set somewhat in the canon typical universe, mentions(?) of mental health struggles

A/N: I was trying to write another fic but I couldn’t do it. I suck at multitasking buuuuut, chappell roan inspired fic! Kaleidoscope is honestly a banger so everyone should stream when they read this! (I doubt anyone will do this but trust me! It’s for ambiance.)

Ellie hadn’t been herself lately. Going out early and coming back late, quieter, moping around, anxious, paranoid. Usually you’d been able to get her out of her moods with some attention but it seemed as if she’d been dead set on staying in this one. It didn’t matter what you tried — nothing worked.

“Ellie, I just wanna help you.” You spoke softly as you approached her drawing desk. “You’re not yourself lately.” You felt sorry for her, but she seemed to hate that. Since the day of Joel’s death and the meeting in Santa Barbara with Abby, everything had changed; understandably so. But you wanted to be there for her.

She was scared to let people in. She didn’t know what to say or when it would ever be safe again. Seeing how much you cared, she had harbored some resentment towards your persistence. She never understood how someone could be so interested in bettering someone who’d obviously been going through something.

It was hard to say, but sometimes she wants silence. She doesn’t wanna be reminded of how she needs to get out more or how much you’d wanna make her feel better by doing things you’d done before the outbreak. Truthfully? To her, it could never be the same — not without Joel. She lost a part of herself. “Ellie. Ellie, please look at me.”

She spares a glance in your direction for a moment. “If you really wanna go, I’ll never make you stay. Seriously. I want what’s best for you— for us, this relationship. If you need to go your own way, so be it.”

The relationship you had with Ellie had always been somewhat rocky. After she initially left to find Abby, the revenge took over her mind and made for a new and ugly personality. It was the same thing. Revenge. Revenge. Revenge. It was like a curse. One that seems to linger no matter how many times you discourage it from coming back. Ellie seemed to have her mind set on killing that woman Abby. That’s probably what had done it for her.

“I’ll totally understand if we need to be apart. I truly do. It’ll just.. take some time before we could even be friends again or something.” You shrug. “But why? Why would it be weird to go back to the way we’d already been?” Ellie finally speaks, her voice raw and hoarse. “Dealing with this sorta thing is hard. I think I’d need some time before I decide we can be friends again. I’d still look at you and say, yknow, you’re my girlfriend; but in reality we’re.. exes.”

Ellie understands, but it’s a hard pill to swallow. In her eyes, love was beautiful and blissful yet still confusing. How it worked? We’ll never know. Nobody does. Once you fall into it, you fall hard, and it feels like a punch in the gut once you realize that this isn’t forever.

Even with all the beauties of love, being inlove and being loved, she was afraid to let it in. She was always kinda closed off-ish when it came to herself.

“Things like this are.. big, and wild and confusing, I know. Emotions are big. Love is a big one,” You began speaking, yet gently and slowly. “But sometimes, it’s necessary to just.. take some time away from it, you know?” Ellie nods along with what you were saying.

“Maybe we do need a little break from eachother. To think about if we can keep going with this. All I can think right now is how fucking tired I am, and how I want this to work, but I don’t know how.” Ellie sighs. “I’ve been trying to be better for you but it feels impossible. I don’t know what to even do anymore,” Her hands tangle in her short hair as she thinks about what she’d say next.

“I love you a lot. I really do. But we need to take some time away from eachother.” Ellie says, holding your hands. It stings, but you knew this was coming. It was like bracing yourself before a punch you knew was coming to you.

“Yeah. I think so too.” You mumble back. You look at Ellie, she looks at you. She stands up to embrace you and you just let the tears you kept bottled up out while she rubs your back.

#Spotify #turnoutthe-lights #sora writes #tlou #the last of us #the last of us two #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #tlou2 #ellie willams x reader #ellie x reader #tlou x reader #tlou x you #tlou x y/n #ellie x you #ellie x y/n

[leona-hawthorne]

I HATE IT HERE / mattheo riddle

drabble

mattheo riddle x fem reader

summary: in which mattheo is an artist in a businessman’s world… inspired by ‘i hate it here’ by taylor swift!

warnings: swearing

words: 905

a/n: the tortured poets department is really just on repeat 24/7. dare i say… her saddest album? anyways, i love the headcanon that mattheo loves to draw so i thought this would be sweet <3

Overhearing crunchy footsteps walking through the fallen autumn leaves, Mattheo snaps his sketchbook shut in fear that some random person would accidentally see his innermost thoughts. He’d been drawing by the Black Lake like he usually did when the voices in his head got too loud. Normally, no one else came out here to bother him, but it appeared that today was unlucky.

“Mattheo?” Oh, it was you who was coming to bother him. Guess his day wasn’t so unlucky, after all.

Taking a seat beside him with your back resting against the large tree behind you, you turn your head to look at him and place a kiss on his cheek.

“Did you just get bored or did something happen that made you feel the need to come out here?” You ask, looking down to watch as he mindlessly intertwines your fingers with his.

“How’d you even know I was here?”

“Answer my question.”

”Fine. Both.” He answers, his voice sounding strained as if he’d had the most tiring day of his life.

“You know I’m here to listen, right?” Trying to add to the reassurance, you give his hand a little squeeze. He sighs.

“I don’t wanna burden you. You’re always listening to my fucking problems.”

You can almost physically feel your heart clench at his words. Your sweet boy could never be a burden to you and frankly, it hurt to know that he thought of himself in that way.

“Talk to me.” Your tone is soft but there's something in your voice that makes it clear you aren’t leaving until he tells you everything.

“I just had a really fucking bad day.” He admits in a dismissive voice, as if it’s no big deal, like you shouldn’t worry about him. “And when I was in Potions, some people started talking about what they’re gonna do after they graduate.”

Your brows furrow and you nod in understanding as you let that sink in. It’s never been a secret that Mattheo didn’t exactly know what he was going to do after school ended, butt you didn’t realize how badly that fact got to his head.

“That bothered you?” The answer to that question is obvious but still, there was an underlying need to ask it.

“Yes!” He snaps, his eyes burning with uncertainty and he takes a breath to calm himself before continuing. “It was all ‘I’m gonna be a Ministry worker,’ or ‘I’m gonna be an auror,’ or ‘teacher’ or whatever and I just… God, Y/n, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

You wanted nothing more than to help him, but you simply couldn’t. It’s not like anything you could say would miraculously make him realize what he wants to do for the rest of his life.

“Everything is so… dull and monochromatic. I don’t want to live in a world where I work 9 to 5 everyday in a cubicle. I just…. I hate it here.”

The mere possibility of living such a tight scheduled, boring, small life suffocated him every minute of everyday. He wanted more. He wanted to see the world, he wanted to be creative, he wanted to bring his dreams to fruition. He refused to become part of the system.

He was an artist at heart. Not many people knew that about him, but you did. He was lucky enough to be born with the ability to extract inspiration from anything in his sights. You, his friends, a song, an animal, architecture. Shit, even a random stranger he meets on the street could get the gears in his beautifully intricate mind to start turning.

Mattheo couldn't go ten minutes without feeling the urge to dump his thoughts onto a blank canvas. Talking wasn’t enough, he needed to create, he needed to use his hands.

His innovation is one of his best traits, one of your favorite things about him, and the idea of him ever giving it up was truly devastating. Taking a good while to think of what to say, you fidget around with his fingers in your hand.

“There’s so much out there, Mattheo. You don't need to conform to what the world wants you to do. I mean come on, you’ve never been one to follow the rules anyway.” You tell him.

“What am I gonna do?” He murmurs as he looks out at the lake, his voice filled with a deep sense of yearning.

“I don’t know. But I’ll be here to help you figure it out. I’ll be here with you for the rest of your life, if you’ll have me.” You whisper as he leans his head on your shoulder, his curls tickling the crook of your neck.

He scoffs, tightening his grip on your hand and snuggling his head deeper into your neck. “Are you stupid? Why would that even be a question? No dreams are worth living out if you’re not in them.”

“Good. ‘Cause you’re not getting rid of me.” You lean your head onto his. “I hate it here too but… It’s not so bad when you’re with me. Can I see what you were drawing?”

With an embarrassed blush flushing his cheeks, he hands you his sketchbook and you open up to the most recent page to find an extremely detailed illustration of… you.

Quick, quick

Tell me something awful

Like you are a poet

Trapped inside the body of a finance guy…

#mattheo riddle #slytherin boys #benjamin wadsworth #harry potter #slytherin #reader insert #x reader #marcus lopez arguello #mattheo riddle drabble #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo x y/n #drabble #taylor swift #ttpd #the tortured poets department #ttpd the anthology #taylor swift ttpd #i hate it here

[wutheringcaterpillar]

Omg hi! i was wondering if i could request a tommy fic? i was thinking during the whole luca changretta war tommy finds (Reader) who is a harley quinn typa gal in the psych ward gets her out and asks to help him kill luca?

•Thank you for the request! Apologies it took so long to come out, hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Altered storyline, mentions of smut

The hallways were narrow as he passed by each barred cell, ignoring the familiar faces of many of his enemies. With each step he was inching closer to her menacing yet playful laugh. He was desperate at this point and being a Shelby he’d never like to admit that.

He really didn’t want to do this, but what other choice did he have? Y/N L/N was known very well for her crimes, many she had gotten away with until she attempted to blow up Tommy’s fucking pub and threatened his family, also the time where you had managed to do seduce his men guarding the company and breaking into the vault stealing a tremendous amount of money.

“Mr. Shelby, crawling back already are we? To what do I owe the displeasure?” She snarled at the sight of his frigid, cold stare. 

Folding his hands and standing with a straight back, feet implanted solidly in his stance, he released a disgruntled breath.

“I need your help. You’re the only one who’s been able to out play me numerous times, and we have a common enemy we both want dead.” She simply giggled and rolled her eyes, not at all phased by his demeanor. Was he being serious right now?

“Regardless of who it is, why should I help you? After all you’re the reason I’m in this filthy, low ridden place. What could you possibly offer me that I can’t already get myself?”

“You’re freedom. No strings attached after Luca Changretta is dead.” The man’s name rolling off Tommy’s tongue boiled the blood in your veins. He was the man who had killed your mother and made you an orphan, depending on others for food, living on the streets growing up all by yourself at the ripe age of twelve. 

He noticed the sudden change in your facial features and how your hands clung to the metal bars, knuckles turning white in anger.

“So what do you say? Do we have a deal?” 

The breath of fresh air warmed your body, refreshing your sense of smell. Tommy had a tight grip around your bicep, untrusting that you held any type of loyalty to the arrangement.

Shoving you roughly into the car and locking the doors, he drove off filling you in on what the Changretta’s have been doing to his family, mentioning the death of his brother John.

Pulling into the driveway, knowing it had been a long, painful day, he thought it was best just to show you to your room and create a plan of takedown the following morning.

Your eyes widened in shock at the big expensive house, surprised to see he had a maid waiting on him, yet you couldn’t steer away from all of the fine china on the walls, the glistening silverware laying out on the clothed table.

“If I had known where you lived I would’ve ramsacked this play awhile ago, I mean look at this!” You picked up the ferrarce pink egg in your hand carelessly, magnifying it’s beauty and not being able to stop thinking how much money the antique could get you. Grasping the object out of your hand, Tommy forced you around back to the stairs where you heard pitter pattering footsteps rushing past you down the stairs.

Seeing the little boy so alight and full of energy brought a profound joyfulness to you. A person’s childhood is so precious, supposed to be the best time of life, never worrying about a thing, not understanding the hatefullness in the world. It made you sympathize a little.

“You have a child?” Tommy wasn’t going to entertain any conversation of his private life. He was uncomfortable enough having you here in this house with Charlie but what choice did he have?

“Don’t get any ideas, breakfast is at 8 am. This will be your room, windows have been barred, any sharp objects have been taken out, don’t bother trying anything.” The room had nothing but a singular king size bed in the center of the white painted room, a bathroom attached with a shower, toilet, and sink but no towels.

“I know you’re fucking crazy, I don’t need you trying to hang yourself or some shit. Frances will bring you one if needed but one of my men will be outside the bathroom to ensure you don’t try anything. Take it or leave it.” 

Begrudgingly you tossed your belongings onto the bed, Tommy pulling out a cigarette in the process, glossing the tube over his plump lip.

It was all settled then. You’d head out first thing in the morning.

When the following day arrived you awoke to Tommy busting through the door, causing you to jolt upwards reaching for your weapon that wasn’t there thanks to his stupid rules.

“Artillery Square. It’s 8:01, you’re late. Get dressed. I want you to see how they operate.” 

Ripping the blankets off the bed, Tommy tossed you a change of clothes, black pants with a black hoodie marching your darkened personality.

Huffing, you looked at him expectedly awaiting for some privacy to which he rolled his eyes as if he hadn’t seen women nude before.

Closing the door he waited outside for you.

The car drive consisted of etching out a plan. Tommy knew they were following behind him and informed you of where he had weapons set up on the different floors and railings outside. Why did he have to plan everything and be serious? Didn’t he like risk taking every once in awhile, so utterly boring.

“Stay close.” The men had taken a different turn probably in hopes of throwing Tommy off but that wouldn’t work.

Passing by civilians he motioned for them to go inside that danger was near. They wasted no time in auietly running up to their rooms in fear, fully knowing that whenever a Shelby was around, trouble always seemed to follow.

Turning around Tommy realized you weren’t behind him anymore. Huffing and scanning the area he found you sitting on the curb of the sidewalk next to a bakery petting a stray pup with a croissant in your hand, as if there weren’t italian men scattered throughout Birmingham looking to complete their vendetta.

In a powerful stride he walked over to you, gripping the small of your wrist angrily and dragging you along with him.

“Hey! Y’know what your problem is Tommy? You’re so uptight all the time, jesus relax every once in awhile.” Rounding the corner, he shifted and slammed you against the alley wall effortlessly, causing your creamed croissant to fall to the ground, pissing you off.

“Really! That croissant was the only good thing going in my life, it gets tiring constantly being spied on and not being trusted y’know.” His hand struck you across the cheek, causing your head to whip to the left from his harmful blow, smacking against the brick wall.

“Ow! What the fuck Shelby!” Your stomach bubbled with fury, arms flailing and hitting his rock hard chest trying to fight back against his strong hold. 

“Listen to me alright? This isn’t some fancy fucking get away. We had an agreement, so stay hidden before you blow our fucking cover or I will take you right back to the fucking coppers and have you readmitted, Got it, eh?” She giggled menacingly, rolling her eyes from the masculine, testosterone fueled facade, not at all intimidated by him. If anything a little turned on by his threats and the chokehold he had you in.

In a quick, swift movement you giggled before raising your knee and striking him directly in the ball causing the older Shelby to hunch over in pain.

“Lay a hand on me again and I will drown you in your fucking sleep. Got it?” You snickered sarcastically, smiling at the feeble position you put him in.

“Now, let’s get back to business and set aside the pleasure shall we?” 

The two of you scoped Artillery Square, the block being hing with sheets and laundry around every turn while innocent civilians were inside the homes they rightfully owned.

Enough people had died from these fuckers, children included and Tommy refused to have any more unnecessary blood shed. 

Hearing footsteps from behind, Tommy motioned for you to follow him in the building. The empty hallways eerily quiet as bystanders were crouched in their rooms hiding beneath tables, fleeing to corners and shielding their children.

All of Birmingham knew the Chagrettas were in town and what a black hand meant. The italian Mafia had been a profound problem back in the state of New York, innocent lived being taken just for being in the same vicinity as who they were after.

Quieting the worrisome families, you raised a finger to your lips with each passing room, ears and eyes at the ready to think fast.

At that moment a bullet richoeted through one of the windows, hitting a metal wall and flying up toward the ceiling shattering a light bulb connected to a ceiling fan.

On high alert, Tommy whipped you around toward the other side of the hallway, pushing you forth by the low of your back. Birmingham wasn’t a place you were completely familiar with but Tommy knew these streets and buildings like the back of his hand.

“Go! Go!” As windows shattered, you held your bat at the ready, looking to fight as Tommy instructed you where to go, but you had plans of your own.

Instead you turned around, walking back out toward the parking lot where the gunfire was coming from.

“Where the fuck are you going?!” You shrugged your shoulders, glancing back at him daringly while batting your eyelashes.

The need and want to see Luca’s face again after so long consumed you but Tommy was faster.

In an instant he thrashed your body down onto the floor, saving your head from a bullet that would’ve went right through you skull.

“That’s enough. Save your fucking anger for later. If he sees your face he will be a step ahead. So just fucking listen to me!” You groaned from the tumble, slamming your hand on the floor in frustration.

Days turned into weeks until you were face to face with the man.

Hiding in a room, you filed your nails carelessly listening in on the conversation, awaiting Tommy’s cue.

“You can sign the papers on your fucking knees.” The intimidating man pushed the papers off the table, the contracts scattering across the floor in a whimsy manner. When Tommy still didn’t move, still didn’t speak it angered Luca immensely, causing him to flip over the table in fury.

“Sign the fucking papers.” Tommy’s crystal blue eyes never left Luca’s in fact he found his little performance quite hysterical. He simply smirked, attempting to hold back his laughter. 

“All of your blood relatives are gone Mr. Changretta. The men behind you will work for whoever the highest bidder is and well how the turned tables have turned.”

“Is that so?” When he turned around to face what were once his men, they stepped back with the guns in their hands fully aware of the plan Tommy had implemented.

“A friend of mine once told me big fucks small. So I had to find someone bigger than you. Someone whom you crossed years ago and has been locked up ever since. You see I did some digging as well.”

Coming out from the shadows, bat ready at the hand. You didn’t like guns as much, bullets were too much of an easy kill, you wanted to see him suffer. Tommy winked your way causing Luca to spin around only to be met with the brunt force of the wooden object against his skull.

At that moment Tommy fleed from his kneeling position, pulling his gun out to finally end this yet you stopped him.

“Allow me to do the honors. Boys stand down, I’ve been waiting my whole life to kill this piece of shit and oh how I want to see him suffer the way I did.

Luca fumbled to get up, a few of his teeth now lying on the floor while blood trickled out from his mouth like a river flowed down a winding stream.

The man jumped at you, spitting blood on your face. Oh how you loved a challenge.

In one powerful swing, the bat banged at his knee, shattering the bone completely leaving him once again on the floor writhing in pain. 

In that moment a flashback of your childhood rushed to your head. Remembering the moment you eere cowering in the corner of the kitchen floor, scared and terrified of this man who had just killed your entire family, leaving you an orphan.

You began to beat him relentlessly with the bat, blood splattering on your face as his face became deformed from the brutal blows.

When you began to cry hysterically, Tommy slowly walked to your aid pulling you into his warm embrace carefully, rubbing your temple soothingly as you welt into his shoulder. The motion was unexpected to say the least.

“He’s dead now love. He’s dead.” Your fist scrunched in the fabric of his shirt, tears forming a puddle on him as you tried to relax. He nodded his head motioning for Pol and Michael to leave the room. To make light of the situation, Tommy decided a joke was necessary which was rare.

“Seeing as this wasn’t your vendetta alone, do you mind if I-“ His hand settled on his gun, and he waited for your agreement.

He emptied the chamber of his pistol onto Luca’s body before escorting you back to his home. 

Offering you a glass of whiskey, he took a seat beside the fire nodding toward the chair beside him and pouring a glass for you.

The fire crackled in the darkened room, a comforting sense of relief after the strenuous events of today.

“Y’know you and me make a pretty good team, don’t you think?” Tommy smiled softly, something he hadn’t done in awhile.

Quirking his eyebrow, he pulled out a ciagrette, passing one to you before lighting the tube of tobacco.

“I guess you can say that.” There was a moment of silence before you stood up from your seat, walking slowly over to Tommy and straddling his lap. Your plush lips just centimeters away from his as your fingers intertwined in the strands of his hair. Your ass grinding down on his lap.

“Now that I’m a free little bird now, I don’t know about you, but I’m in desperate need of some stress relief. What do yuh say Tommy boy?” His hands placed on your thighs, he lifted you up effortlessly taking you by surprise and carrying you into the bedroom and slamming the door behind him.

#thomas shelby #Tommy shelby #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders #ranaewrites #requested

[sunflowerxthoughts]

Finally, here it is! The first date! Can be read as it’s own but highly recommend knowing the lore first. Thank you for the love this little blurb series is getting, sooo much more to come 💜

Eddie was coming to pick you up in the van with one big worry in his mind. You were perfect. Literal woman of his dreams. However, there is this nagging in his head, self doubt. Why would someone so fucking great date the resident freak of Hawkings?

It makes him want to turn arround. He is so torn. This is a one in a million chance, but can he promise something so precious won’t go unharmed? He was so hopelessly devoted to you yet he didn’t even know you that much. There was just something so enchanting.

When you open the door, smiling bashfully and looking so radiant, he feels like he has won the lotery. He understand right then and there that this is a chance he is not willing to miss on.

You are just as nervous. Letting Eddie in, it feels easy. He looks at you like he would never actually hurt, but you’ve learnt looks decive and you don’t know if can actually trust him not not break the heart you’ve put back together since you moved to the town.

“You look… wow.” He says, with his hand over his heart. “Sweetheart oh my god.”

“You look really good too, Eds.”

The drive to the dinner is far from quiet. Eddie is set on paying, having worked overtime dealing and at the mechanic’s, but still there is so much he can afford.

“I promise if you give me a chance, I’ll get you on nicer dates. I swear.”

“Eddie I couldn’t care less about money, honestly.”

The date goes smoothly, Eddie swoons as he hears you speak. You on the other hand are stunned. You thought the walls would be too much, yet with everything Eddie does, he chips at every brick, little by little.

Time ticks and you are both in his van, talking about life.

“So Wayne said something the other day. Something about your past.”

“What did he say?”

“Not much. That it wasn’t easy. That it was your story to tell.”

“Listen Eddie-“ you take a big breath, this is not first day material. “It’s hard. It’s not something I want to get into right now but I guess I must warn you.”

“Warn me? What?”

“It won’t be easy, Eddie. I come with baggage that I’ve learnt to mask. And I don’t want to get into… something, relationship or not, just to be left after because it gets too much.”

“I don’t understand, I don’t wanna leave.”

“All I’m saying is at some point it’ll be hard Eddie. I want to date you, I really do. Just being your friend would be great too because you have such a pure, beautiful light. But that is something I don’t have.” You look at him, hoping this is not scaring him. “I’m not saying you have to stay for the long run, we’ve only just met. I just need you to be honest with me. Because I can’t let the walls crumble again, Eddie. I need to know that things are okay, that you don’t feel like you have to run away.”

“I don’t think you will believe me right now, but I understand you. So much. I feel the walls, I know them all too well. I know I make everything lighthearted but this whole town hates me, sweetheart.”

“How could anyone hate you, Eddie?”

“That’s the thing, they do. They really do. I’ve spent all my life being made fun of. A freak. And then you come around and make me feel… human. Like I matter, like I don’t have to see life from an outside perspective. And it’s so fucking refreshing. So let me be that for you, I want to be that for you. I want to get to know you more. I need you to know I don’t see you as a challenge, I see you as someone worth getting to know. You don’t have to let your walls down right now, I get it. We can work each brick, little by little.”

The tension is high. Eddie wonders if he has just fucked up, while you wonder how you managed to be this lucky. It feels like luck. So you kiss him.

It’s tender and it’s sweet and you can feel Eddie melting onto the kiss. It doesn’t go any further than that. There’s a shyness to it, both of you just trying to memorize this on your brains.

“For the record, I do think you have a light. I think you are radiant. And you deserve to be taken care of, and cherished. And listen I don’t have much money, but I promise I’d give you the moon and stars if I could. I am full invested in this, in you. I’m not running away, not matter what.”

Original post Pt. 2 Pt. 3

Tag list: @josephquinnsfreckles @yujyujj @maedesculpaeusoubi 🦋

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie #eddie munson

[clone-bar-79s]

Okay. So the bad batch teaser is out and many fans have rightfully called out star wars out on the clones still being whitewashed. In response to this outcry, the bad batch stans have called out these angered fans for being overdramatic, stupid and theatrical, all over a cartoon. And while poc don't have a responsibility to teach you just how a cartoon can have an impact on us, I want to give it a try from my perspective. Its a bit long but try would you?

So, I'm brown, desi, and darker than most desis so I've basically been identified as the unfortunate child who didn't end up with the right genes in the family. Desi culture is obsessed with white skin, no surprise keeping in mind the British's involvement, but that's not the point. As a child, I really pissed off my parents for not bleaching my skin regularly and not washing my face ten times a day because by then, I considered any form of skin care as an evil. I hated that I had to do it all to get whiter and so I rebelled against any form of skin care. I hated all the damned whitening creams that were meant to make me beautiful because while it wasn't being stated explicitly, I was ugly for being darker.

In the 90s and 2000s, Desi movies from Pakistan and India showcased darker actresses as the ugly girl in the movie. The one who wanted the guy but wouldn't get him. The one who was pining for a guy who was however pining for the pretty white desi girl. And even if the dark girl somehow did end up winning the heart of the hero, it wasn't because he thought she was beautiful... it was because she had a great personality or was kind or whatever. But despite everything, watching Rani Mukherjee on screen, who I saw myself in, made me feel all sorts of giddy. When she did get the guy and he did tell her he loved her and she did get the happy ending, I believed it was possible for me too, despite being told by every passing aunt and uncle that I'd have a hard time getting a guy, if at all. Rani Mukherjee's presence on screen gave me hope because it told me that I could exist in this fucked up world and expect some form of happiness.

This sole example kept me going for a very long while. I'm not saying it helped me forget everything that had been engrained into my head for the first thirteen years of my life. It didn't make me rethink everything or made me more confident in my own skin. It didn't make me embrace my color, or my features, or my nose or my darker lips. But I knew I didn't have to be ashamed of the way I looked. And that there was more beauty in this world than the Eurocentric beauty I had been forced to accept as the only beauty since I was born . Seeing someone who looked like me has made a difference! This one person's presence on screen helped!

So, for those of you who are screaming out louder than the fans who are very rightfully angered by the whitewashing of the bad batch, you need to stop for a second. If you're white, you've never even had to think about this! That is because every actor in Star Wars looks like you! Bar some aliens and mace windu, the multitude of characters in star wars are white. The greatest jedis, the greatest villains, every skywalker, Kenobi, Rey, Ben Solo, Han, Padme and any other major character you can think of. You don't have to worry about how it feels to not be seen. You've been shown again and again that every princess looks like you and every actress resembles you and every hero has your face!

Polynesians were given a singular chance to see themselves in Star Wars as the clones who were modeled off a polynesian actor. This amazing role that showed us that people of all colors and races do exist! How hard is it to put yourself in our shoes, and empathize for one second, just how awful it feels to see that sole role snatched away ? That out of the millions of stories to tell about the clones, star wars chose to focus on the white versions of the clones. That they actually informed the fans, and proudly might I add, that they chose to model the clones off of white actors? That they went ahead and decided that for some reason it was okay that Tech have a British accent (???). Why is it so hard to understand that its absolutely horrible to see the one role offered to a colored guy, be transformed into a white man who, lets not forget, are supposed to be a new and improved version of the OG clones. And that the only one who most accurately resembles the clones, was made the bumbling brute of the group. And that the young girl who was a copy of Jango is not only blonde, but whiter than any clone ever seen on screens.

Can't you pull yourselves out from your own bubbles for just one second to understand the point of view of those against the bad batch? When they're telling you that the franchise's decision to whitewash one of the few colored characters is hurting them, cant you see why? That when an author tells us it was too hard to bother finding out how polynesian hair works, cant you see why the outrage makes sense? Every decision that star wars makes has an effect on the fans and its absurd for you to negate the impact that media has on all our lives.

#well... this is personal but idk man i think its so obvious why were angry and its so weird to see others say we have no right to be #like theres abolutely nothing in star wars for colored fans except a few examples and you wnat to take that away too? #and offer us nothing but poc as unredeemable villains now? #how can it go over tbb stans heads??? #hoooooooooowwwwwwwww? #unwhitewashtbb #the bad batch #the fact that i have seen multiple people argue with me instead of understand my point and tell me its not that big a deal #and that how they as poc still enjoy these shows because tehy dont care? #FINE! DONT CARE! I DO! #But to be spoken over and told to shutup because we are making a big deal out of somehting is just fucked up

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i want to compile a list of horror media that people need to watch before they call genloss groundbreaking incredible material. like yall are soooo so deeply entrenched in copium toting this thing around like its the best piece of horror media in the world when like. theres no horror. there has literally been no horror. how are we watching the same thing. go watch gemini home entertainment or marble hornets or daisy brown or unedited footage of a bear or this house has people in it and then come back to me. dont fucking talk to me until youve consumed some horror media thats actually good first!!!!!!!!

#sorry i KNOW i said i wouldnt genloss post too much but it just makes me so fucking angry #as a very very very long term horror enthusiast and aspiring horror creator #i feel fucking insulted every time i see genloss being listed as something incredible . when. #theres no horror or comedy in your horror comedy that was originally advertised for two goddamn years as an arg n then analog horror and th #like. pick a theme. give me literally anything. its so bad. im so angry. and i DONT get angry at media. #i actively try not to grt angry at media and legitimately havent since veryyyy early middle school. #so the fsct that this thing is making me so mad is a huge deal. #anyone who has known me for any number of years knows like. i dont get mad about shit!!! #especiallt shit that doesnt rlly matter like fictional media!!! i dont like to expend the energy on that!!! #so when i say genloss makes me so angry to the point where i was literally #sweaty and out of breath after aster and i got off the phone talking abt it the other day #i need you to understand i am not a hater #like #ughgrrghrggghghh #go fucking watch saw (2004) youll have a much better time than watching whatever bs this is #ranboo makes this big long post about how his project is better than aevery other horror short film #and doesnt deserve to be put on a shelf with the rest of them as if theyre beneath his genius vision #and then gives us this cheap heartless garbage that isnt even unique in its badness. #hes just using ideas from other things but doing it worse!!!!!! theres nothing new!!! theres nothing unique!!! #two years of promotional content and like 5 hours of livestreams and they have not given me a single #character or story beat that is interesting enouhj to care about. you cant have horror without first #giving your audience something to care about and then snatching that thing away from them. urhhggghghghgh #reaction time #genloss neg #genloss crit #sorry. im trying to keep the hater posting to a minimum but im so. exhausted

[musical-chick-13]

I did NOT spend five fucking years breaking my back and my brain getting a degree in this for people to say that musical theatre is corny and useless and inherently shameful.

#YOU get through a two-show day with 9 intensive dance numbers!! YOU learn a sondheim score!!!! YOU sing an emotionally intense song that #hits a little too hard without crying onstage!!!!!!!!! YOU do all the work of singing a song in a strange style in a consistently healthy #way that doesn't ruin your voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #YOU do the vocal stamina exercises and sit in a practice room for 50 minutes each day going over the same phrase to figure out #how it sits in your voice without losing your sanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP #In the Vents #oh I am BITTER today my friends #it is a BAD chronic illness day #do not MAKE me pull out my 10 minute stephen schwartz presentation do not MAKE me scream about the instrumentation in #the deathnote stage musical do not MAKE me live-stream a practice session of trying to learn how to sing 'stupid with love' without #sounding like a dying rabid animal #NOBODY WANTS ANY OF THAT BUT I WILL DO IT IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND™ #WATCH RAGS! WATCH LIGHT IN THE PIAZZA! WATCH PASSION! WATCH PARADE! WATCH THE COLOR PURPLE! IF YOU'RE /SO/ INSISTENT THAT EVERY WORK HAS TO #DEAL WITH BIG SOCIAL/PERSONAL ISSUES IN A COMPLETELY REALISTICALLY SERIOUS WAY TO BE WORTHY OF ATTENTION #SOMETHING DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GRITTY AND JOYLESS AND GRIM TO HAVE ANYTHING MEANINGFUL TO SAY ABOUT THOSE ISSUES #WICKED HAS THEMES OF OPPRESSION THAT ARE ARTICULATED MORE ORGANICALLY THAN A LOT OF '''''SERIOUS''''' WORKS BUT NOBODY WANTS ME TO TALK #ABOUT THAT

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

MY MUM JUST BOUGHT ME AND HER TICKETS TO SEE SIX?? UNPROMPTED???? SHE IS THE MOST CONFUSING WOMAN ALIVE??????? BUT YAAAAAYYYY

#she hates me but also doesnt but also does but not quite but does but doesnt but #see i have a worse relationship with my father but its so much easier because hes just an absolute bastard all round #my mothers flip flopping every day calling me an ungrateful waste of money one minute then buying me six tickets the next like?? #what am i meant to do about that??? #anywayz SIX TICKETS WOO FUCKING LOVE SIX #I WAS MEANT TO SEE IT RIGHT BEFORE COVID HIT AND I JUST HAVENT COME ACROSS IT SINCE #SHE SAW IT AND JUST BOOKED THE TICKETS FOR NEXT YEAR IM LIKE SO EXCITED #fr though why is she being so nice to be its kind of frightening #i think its because i had that breakdown in front of her before #she hasnt told me to get a job since then either #you guys dont understand how big of a deal that is #she always finds a way to tell me to get a job #anywayz everyone thank my mum for being a great mum <3 #for the moment as least #dont want to jinx it #maybe marrying my step dad last month changed her psychologically #omg maybe shes started therapy #am a little afraid because im in the process of starting testosterone (yay!) but havent told her and i should be on it by december so uh #its gonna be obvious by the time we go to see it #so im *scared* #she may very well take the tickets away but LETS HOPE NOT #im so sorry ive written an essay in the tags lmfao #mummy issues #mummy issues going wild fr

[running-in-the-dark]

it's actually evil that you need to have a (newer) smartphone and an app to confirm the transaction every time you want to transfer money

for many, many reasons, but mostly because it's one more thing I need to keep figuring out for my mother and I don't want to!

#first I had to add her account to my app and deal with that for six months because her phone was too old for the app #then I gave her my phone when I got a new one (the fact that she needed one for that was a big factor in me buying a new one) #and had to set all of that up. #and now. she keeps having problems with it!! and she doesn't understand my instructions on the phone!! so I have to drive over there to fix #whatever she did #which right now only takes 30 minutes if I'm lucky (depends on how annoying she wants to be that day) #but once we move it'll be an hour of driving alone. plus the time I'll have to spend at her place. #so yeah I'm pissed off about it #the TAN generator things that you put your bank card in worked perfectly fine but noooo everyone has a smartphone right 🙄🙄🙄 #fucking hate that shit #especially since the tiny branch of her bank in her village closed a few years ago. so yeah either you have a smartphone and someone to help #you set that up and solve any issues. or you have a car to drive to the nearest bank and do it that way. #this sucks #personal

[bloodsbane]

anyways my toxic trait is that i get mad at people who don't have the same level of media literacy as me

#banebabbles #this applies mainly to cartoons and video games #AND I KNOW WHAT YOURE THINKING. I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING #bane it's not that hard to understand a cartoon? #well you would simply be surprised #for example ive had a lot of fun watching this guy's SU reaction series #however soemtimes it's like. so obvious that he hasn't watched a lot of cartoons #or even just like. idk. idk!! it's mean and wrong to make harsh assumptions lol #but he's out here in SUF like 'i just don't get what the big deal is why is steven like soooo upset' #and im like BRO COME ON. HE ///SPELLS IT OUT/// #he has a fucking multi-episode downward spiral how do you not Get WHY he's upset #and thinks so harshly of himself #grabbing him and shaking him #anyways it's literally fine it doesn't matter once again this is my Toxic Trait #i also yell at LPers for not playing video games the right way immediately

[giulolosblackmail]

i wanna vent about orens which means i’m angry about hh so like to start off you have to understand that helix waltz is a refurbished and genre transported helix horizon which was a money grubbing jrpg themed fantasy gatcha cn rpg that happened to be headed by this one guy (Mingjing Yoshikawa) who thought having an actual story would make everything better, and he was right! to an extent! helix horizon did do well enough to get a sequel game, but god was the world building and premise covered up by so much horny fanservice that it was hard to take anything seriously

but how does that relate to orens? i’m so glad you asked! you see, orens were created in the world of helix horizon mostly to check off a bunch of older-than-they-look catgirl boxes to fill more niche kinks for the gatcha pool, and you can see this in other characters in HW too (florna hitting the weirdly prevalent busty blonde nun with glasses and anxiety template), which is why orens are largely stupid, child-like, cutesy characters with cutesy names and manner of speech that all have one defining characteristic, because that is the result of churning out gatcha characters, and while HW did a pretty good job patching over HH to make a functional character driven visual novel/dress up game, they never really took orens seriously enough to make them people

i know that orens do get their own political faction in s2 and there’s moves to give them full citizenship, but it is very much an “in spite of everything” kind of move, like the writers for the game are giving orens rights because it is bad to not take the side of characters they wrote as oppressed minorities, instead of because they’ve shown that orens are people that deserve rights

let me explain, in-game orens are described as humanoid orcs, so we can infer that orens are closer to a type of fantasy monster (not people) than fantasy race (people), but they look and act humanoid enough to coexist with other humanoid races like elves and demons, this means we should expect a lowered intelligence and animal-like instincts/characteristics (ie cat orens napping a lot and fox orens being crafty), but on top of that, orens are also glaringly child-like, which i assume is a holdover from the older-than-they-look-loli trope, the most egregious example of which is motiti

i want to like motiti, i really do, but she is literally the poster child for every negative oren stereotype and the story practically bends around her to allow her to exist in-universe, which is insane because she was created just for helix waltz, every other oren that we’ve met has been a fully grown adult regardless of their cutesy appearance, all of them have adult jobs and responsibilities and get mad about being infantilized by others, so we can assume motiti is an adult, she is never treated like a child by the other orens (not even brala - who immediately tried to take care of nyx (16ish teen) - treats motiti like a child), it’s just magda who does this (magda is canonically bigoted in that she treats all oren like they’re children even after helena called her out on making light of brala’s blatantly romantic/sexual crush on her because she never saw him as an adult), and we have no in-universe explanation for why she’s so fucking stupid, her one goal in life is to wear cute maid dresses. she doesn’t... she doesn’t even want to be a maid... I... she’s not even interested in maid dresses in general, just- she just wears them without knowing anything about fashion or quality or modeling or makeup just-

another great example of infantalizing orens is bacon day, bacon day is an oren holiday where pieces of bacon are tied to trees and roofs with long pieces of string so that they dangle around, enticing orens to pounce on them, in-game giulolo was the only oren that had a problem with this because she thought it was undignified, we later find out that she thought it was undignified for a very childish reason and participates in bacon day happily after replacing bacon on strings with books on strings, i think it really just pisses me off so much because they could have actually taken a stance on how orens perceive themselves and deal with the prejudice they face and how giulolo, who meets a lot of rich merchants and nobles through her job, might have taken issue with an oren tradition that feeds into the perception of orens being no better than dumb animals, it’s just this kind of pervasive attitude of the writers never allowing oren characters to actually be sapient enough to comment on their own circumstance that undermines the entire narrative of orens being oppressed peoples and not just animals who can talk, none of them have the capacity to talk about all the horrific murders committed in broad daylight by humans because orens have no protection under the law, this also happens to elves as well, none of the elf characters will give a solid answer on why they’re so ok with being enslaved to humans despite being intellectually, physically, and magically more developed, the two times an elf suggests that they’re unhappy with their situation get quickly resolved without actually changing anything, and i will forever be mad that nala wasn’t chosen when HH was turned into HW (nala was a bavlenka elf that raged against the prejudice she experienced by physically beating the shit out of anybody that said anything racist about elves in her vicinity, she is blatantly unhappy with the way things are and says so)

bUt It’S a DrEsS uP gAmE, why are you expecting nuanced social criticism from an app where you pay 25 dollars to get a pretty jpg that makes the plot progress, shhhhhhhh, i’m just in love with what could have been

#rant #i understand that motiti is the useless cute mascot character but bru did they have to do her so dirty #like look i can characterize her better #she's a teenage oren who moved to the big human city because she fell in love with the concept of maids #so by sheer fucking luck she got a job as a maid but she fucking sucks at it because she's still growing and has severe dyslexia #severe dyslexia can make you mix up directions and mess with your sense of balance making you very clumsy #which also keeps her illiterate and severely limits her ability to adapt to life in finsel #despite this and how nobody actually tries to help her because most of the staff and everybody in charge of her are all racist and actively #sabatoging her so that she'll get fired and they won't have to deal with her anymore #her goal is to become the best maid ever #not just wear the fucking dress #which means learning all the intricacies of unspoken human social rules and how to tell quality from expensive trash #she idolizes lucilia as the most competent maid in finsel #and chases her around trying to learn from the master and begging lucilia to take her on as an apprentice #which does double work in giving lucilia more screen time outside of her relationship with florna #there was that so fucking hard

[abyssalpriest]

if i disappear after saying that ive been assassinated no jokes aside if i take that down its not bc i disagree with it, you can still pin it on me as a belief that i think that shit should be said and ill put my whole ass behind it, but saying shit like that has consequences lmfao. also theres a time and a place to bring that up

#ive already. dealt. with enough fucking propagandising royal family members on my fucking ASS this lifetime to last. the rest of #this universe's incarnation. sometimes its better to not get involved which i KNOW is a big part of why the propaganda is rampant #among people who work with ''demons'' but like. no. no race is more superior than other races. hot take i know sorry #ramblings // #honestly tho. im so sick of dealing with the topics of ascending and (''demon'') racial supremacy and fighting jxdaism under the guise #of ''we hate chrxstians tho and thats good!'' bc ''(JEWISH NAME FOR GOD????) is a horrible person he wiped out half his angels!!!!'' #listen i do not care how uncomfortable you are w your species' and peoples' histories you are. leave innocent fucking people and their #concept of the Creator that you dont even understand alone. whats the point in pride in your people if youre only proud of how #your people are Better than another set of people. like. bruh. are you proud of being a (demon) or are you so insecure your only source of #literally describing said propagandising family members lord almighty im gonna stop myself there. #WOW. I DSFJKHDFH. IVE NEVERRRRR SUDDENLY GOTTEN THE URGE TO TALK SHIT ABOUT WAR /AND/ SPILL THINGS PEOPLE #WANT SECRET /AND/ TALK SHIT ABOUT TWISTING KNOWLEDGE TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD /AND/ HAD IT DEVOLVE INTO #''even tho im (practically) hindu jxdaism is too fucking important to my family for me to not have OPINIONS about shit'' BEFORE HMM #WEIRD WEIRD unincarnated selves just fucking going AT it. i mean. spilling opinions. cant say they havent gone at it in other #ways too wow no wonder Ardhanarishvara (God as half man half woman) and Shiva and Shakti are super important to me - #NO WONDER THIS CAME AFTER TALKING ABOUT CONSCIOUSNESS AND MIND WHO I SEE AS SHIVA AND SHAKTI #anyway the first post had nothing to do w jxdaism and this topic itself has nothing to do w it i just finally had it click why Certain Peop #calling the things the kings they worship did atrocities of (name) was bothering me SO much. i mean i knew why the rest of it was bothering #me - i mean the NAME bit clicked

[caffeinatedopossum]

Not triggering just personal

I really need to vent about being asexual and sex repulsed but I feel like no one will understand and I get how a lot of the things I think will sound but I really just need to for once get these thoughts off my chest without having them being morally appraised because they *aren't* my morals, they're just things I can't change.

And I don't want people to TRY to change it either! Or to try to figure what ~hOrRiBle trAuMas~ could have possibly made me "this way". It's not that I think there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that this thing needs to stay neutral to me if I ever expect to actually understand it. I want people to stop morally appraising and physcoanalyzing my sexuality through the lense of inherent trauma!!

I just want to talk about this without feeling like I need to put a disclaimer before every sentence, explaining why I feel the way that I feel. I don't know ok! I don't know why I feel the way that I feel sometimes. I'm just doing my best and I wish more people would understand that. Maybe you don't get an explanation because this is my identity and doesn't need to be justified. I just want to understand myself.

#anyway that felt good #i hope this helps you guys understand in case i ever post some of the thoughts i was referring to here #i hope this helps you guys understand how big of a deal my asexuality actually is #its not just passively accepted #i have quite literally had to mask my asexuality MORE than my autism #i want to talk more about this but anytime i do at least one person is always there #suggesting im only asexual because of trauma or asking me what the fuck im talking about because i said something about being sex repulsed #or saying 'i used to be asexual too' -_- please just dont say this to me #im trying so hard to be a good person even when my deepest instincts go against some of my morals #i dont know if i can ever change those things either #i dont know whats worse #the idea that i need to be fixed somehow to better fit mine and everyone elses idea of a better and more likeable person #or the thought that this disgust is inherent to who i am and can never be changed #it hurts so much you dont understand #it hurts so much to think that rationally its good to accept people expressing their sexualities in healthy ways #but to be consumed by this contradictory instinct that make me recoil in disgust from even the people i love #it hurts and i just need someone to acknowledge that and that im trying and that it is difficult #and maybe even that its not my fault... though idk if id really go so far as to believe that #i wish i could've chosen to be anyone else sometimes