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#it hurts and i just need someone to acknowledge that and that im trying and that it is difficult

caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

Text

Not triggering just personal

I really need to vent about being asexual and sex repulsed but I feel like no one will understand and I get how a lot of the things I think will sound but I really just need to for once get these thoughts off my chest without having them being morally appraised because they *aren't* my morals, they're just things I can't change.

And I don't want people to TRY to change it either! Or to try to figure what ~hOrRiBle trAuMas~ could have possibly made me "this way". It's not that I think there's nothing wrong with me, it's just that this thing needs to stay neutral to me if I ever expect to actually understand it. I want people to stop morally appraising and physcoanalyzing my sexuality through the lense of inherent trauma!!

I just want to talk about this without feeling like I need to put a disclaimer before every sentence, explaining why I feel the way that I feel. I don't know ok! I don't know why I feel the way that I feel sometimes. I'm just doing my best and I wish more people would understand that. Maybe you don't get an explanation because this is my identity and doesn't need to be justified. I just want to understand myself.

#anyway that felt good #i hope this helps you guys understand in case i ever post some of the thoughts i was referring to here #i hope this helps you guys understand how big of a deal my asexuality actually is #its not just passively accepted #i have quite literally had to mask my asexuality MORE than my autism #i want to talk more about this but anytime i do at least one person is always there #suggesting im only asexual because of trauma or asking me what the fuck im talking about because i said something about being sex repulsed #or saying 'i used to be asexual too' -_- please just dont say this to me #im trying so hard to be a good person even when my deepest instincts go against some of my morals #i dont know if i can ever change those things either #i dont know whats worse #the idea that i need to be fixed somehow to better fit mine and everyone elses idea of a better and more likeable person #or the thought that this disgust is inherent to who i am and can never be changed #it hurts so much you dont understand #it hurts so much to think that rationally its good to accept people expressing their sexualities in healthy ways #but to be consumed by this contradictory instinct that make me recoil in disgust from even the people i love #it hurts and i just need someone to acknowledge that and that im trying and that it is difficult #and maybe even that its not my fault... though idk if id really go so far as to believe that #i wish i could've chosen to be anyone else sometimes

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fuxuannie · 1 year

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Hi sage!! I hope you're doing well<33 do you mind doing jealousy headcanons for dan heng, jing yuan and any other characters you chose?? Thank you 🤍🤍 you're keeping the hsr x reader tag alive 😭

* pairing(s) : various hsr men (4, again) x gender neutral reader

* prompt : jealousy bites like you like a poisonous snake, the bite hurts, but its the venom that gets you.

* authors note : hi anon !!! (๑´ㅂ`๑) thank you for requesting, you're so sweet for the last msg omg tysm <3 i hope u enjoy !

* brief warning : blade kills a man, very blade of him. (his is also more of a joke im sorry blade lovers) ALSO THIS PROGRESSIVELY GETS SHORTER EACH CHARACTER, I JUST REALLY LIKE DAN HENG IM SORRY LMAO.

DAN HENG can't hide the way his eye twitches, how tightly he grips onto his spear or the way he'd mutter things under his breath. He despises it when he's jealous, but he hates it more when he sees the reason for doing so.

He knows he's.. not exactly like all your previous partners, it stemmed an insecurity in him. He wasn't all too funny, and knew he couldn't make you laugh with a corny joke.

So the way Sampo keeps making you laugh, making you smile, it was sparking a jealous flame in his heart. But more than anything, it saddened him that he couldn't make you laugh like that.

God, your smile was so pretty.

After a while, he interlocks his fingers with yours and mutters a small 'Can we go?' to you. You immediately notice his saddened tone, and thank Sampo for his time before walking home with your boyfriend.

"Dan Heng?" You say softly, noticing his rather saddened mood. He lets out a small hum to acknowledge your call for him, and you sigh. "Are you upset?"

He nods his head.

"Is it.. because of Sampo?"

He hesitates, but that alone gives you an answer.

Dan Heng takes a deep breath, before looking at you, his eyes filled with honesty. "I was.. jealous. I know I can't make you laugh the way he does, and it frustrates me. I want to be a man who makes you smile everyday but-"

Amidst his rant, he sees how your gaze softened at his words. This entire time, he was insecure? He hid it well, so well, at the very least from you. "I'm sorry, this is stupid-"

"N-no! It's not, I should be apologizing if anything! I failed to realize these things.. I'm sorry, my love. Sampo.. he makes me laugh, but you make my heart flutter. You make me feel things no one else can, okay? I'm yours, as you are mine."

He smiles at you, he's just happy he communicated his feelings, and you understood. "I'll be sure to try and tell you how I feel next time, okay? As long as you promise you'll stop hanging out with him. I was honestly afraid I was gonna have to get rid of him."

You blinked a few times, but he sighs. "I'm kiddinngg.."

JING YUAN knows he's far too good of a man, therefore doesn't get jealous.

He's yet to be disproven in the first part, but his golden eyes are filled with annoyance as the stares of a certain enemy of his lingers far too long on you.

You were filling in for Yanqing, he was absent for the day (something about falling into an ice cold river and getting sick or something...) and so someone needed to be there as the General would be meeting Blade.

And Jing Yuan couldn't ignore how Blade's eyes never left your form while he spoke, hanging your head down low and so you wouldn't notice. That made him greatly annoyed, almost unable to focus, but he had a mission at hand. And so he forced his jealousy to subside.

Needless to say, the small marks on your neck was embarassing to have seen in public. (And the small bird constantly pecking at Blade's hair was definitely also not Jing Yuans doing.)

GEPARD is so understanding, he evaluates every situation with logical thinking, as expected as a leader.

So it wasn't hard to figure out the intentions of the 'friend' that was speaking to you, how their voice was almost sweeter, and the way they clinged onto your arm was signalling red flags.

Gepard wouldn't have minded this, it could've easily been friendly gestures, but Serval is one of your closest friends and you were within a friendgroup. And she knows that person has a crush on you, and it was painfully obvious.

So naturally, he swiftly and surpisingly gently pulls you from the waist out of their grasp especially with how firm his grip around you was. He gives them a not so friendly glare, and plants a soft kiss to your lips. "My partner." He states, pulling you close as you're left to be stunned with the sudden posessiveness of your partner. "Mine."

Blade simply stares down at the person even attempting to approach you with clearly bad intentions. And if they dare to try to push their luck, Blade comes home with blood on his hands.

"What did you do??" You'd ask, you already knew the answer after already learning what Blade was truly like. "What was necessary." He replied, a kiss on your cheek as he walks in through the door to wash his hands.

#✹ ִֶָ ꐑꐑ entos paw prints #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail #dan heng x reader #jing yuan x reader #gepard landau x reader #gepard x reader #blade hsr x reader

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shotmrmiller · 3 months

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WHAT YOU WROTE WAS AMAZING PLS IM SOBBING I LOVE IT SO MUCH GIVING U SMOOCHES

but okay so you sleep by yourself that night he comes home. you know he goes out with the boys — mostly on the weekends but sometimes the weekdays too — so when he comes home just a bit later than usual it doesn’t ring any alarm bells even if you pout a little. and you damn near run into his arms and snuggle into his neck only to smell — not him. something, someone else has touched what you thought was yours.

you pull back from the hug to look him over further. clothes mussed up, lips looking like they were bitten, a little flushed. a little like when you two —

you swallow thickly, throat lining with glass and tears as you suck in a breath. you find that you can’t actually form words for a moment, worried that only bile and venom would come out.

“did you fuck someone?”

he looks panicked — guilty — and you don’t even need him to say it for you to know what he’s done.

“who?” you ask, voice barely there, only able to be heard over the icy silence that followed your question. he replies one of the other pets. you nod, more to yourself than anything, trying not to scream your heart out at him.

but your heart cracks the moment he opens his mouth.

for the first time since you began living with him, you slept alone.

(you did scream at him. tripping over your words and panicked breaths and streams of tears. how could he do this. he didn’t call, didn’t ask. did he even think to? did he even care?)

you’re exhausted. too tired crying like you’ve never cried before, feeling like the weight of betrayal is crushing you as you sleep.

you almost fear that it’ll kill you.

the next day — friday — he knocks on your door before he goes to work. he tells you to have a good day. you don’t acknowledge him.

but you miss him. you absolutely fucking hate him but you miss him so much, it hurts. that particular ache is almost worse than the one of betrayal.

almost.

by mid day, you figure you should give him a chance to talk. he obviously feels guilty, and you love him. despite everything, you love him.

so you clean yourself up and try to look a little pretty for him, wearing a cute slip lingerie dress and bows on your ears.

you clean up around the flat a little. you fold his clothes — he’s been grumbling about it lately and always say he’d do it later. so you do it for him, folded with precision and left to sit on the edge of the bed.

you’re still upset and anxious and everything in between. the nerves make it hard to feel anything and you feel too sick to eat. but you nibble on some bread, knowing he wouldn’t want you to neglect yourself. you love him.

when it starts getting later, you decide to make him his favorite cookies. it’s been awhile since you’ve made him anything, and you’ve always enjoyed making these for him. the sweetest kisses tend to follow.

the night rolls around to the point where you know he’s off work. it’ll take him a little to get home, so you settle on the couch and wait.

but as the hours tick by, later and later, the worry grows and gnaws and threatens to split you from the inside out.

maybe he’s out with the boys again? you’d think, given the circumstances, he’d want to come home to you. but old habits die hard, you suppose.

but it gets later. and later.

later than he ever would be out even when things were perfect between you two.

it shatters you. where was he? what was he doing? was he —

the thought makes you sick.

he comes home after midnight. after you wretched in the toilet and cried yourself to sleep — again.

didn’t he love you too?

he sees the cookies put away in a container and a pit grows in his stomach, a void ready to eat his heart. whatever is left of it, anyways.

there’s a note sitting on the top.

“sleep well.”

the writing was shaky and it looks like a few tears spilled onto the words as you wrote them.

your usual xoxo at the bottom was crossed out.

you beat me to it:)

you bloody beat me to it. Fool me once.

your eyes are blank as if the life had all but faded from them, and in a way, they had.

Sitting him down, you calmly, (calmly, because there is nothing in you left other than acceptance, and youll be damned before you ever beg a man to want you) say, "I'll be leaving in the morning."

He tries to say something but nothing he could ever say will fix what he chose to break. "No, the fact that i'm even bothering to tell you is a courtesy you don't deserve. You've made your bed, now continue to lie in it with whoever you keep seeing after work." Smoothly, you get up and walk towards your room.

There is no rancor in your heart for whoever it is he's been with. After all, the one in the relationship with you was him.

You stuff a towel under the door, covering the gap, and clutch your collar to your chest, letting the last tears youll ever cry over him track down your cheeks. He doesn't deserve to see nor hear your pain.

You call an uber while he's at work and disappear.

When he comes back home, the place is dark and empty. He sits at the dinner table alone, with two fingers of whiskey in front of him, and in his hand is the last note you left him, stiff with dried tears and an xoxo at the very bottom.

What makes him crumble is when he sees the glint of your personalized collar on his nightstand, and it finally hits him that you're gone. For good.

listening to eurielle while writing epic sad is just chefs kiss.

#i am LIVING for this angst i stg #my anons are incredible #better than me in every way shape and form #task force 141

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edenfenixblogs · 5 months

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Thank Your Jewish Friends Trying to Educate You Right Now

If you’re a leftist, and you have had a Jewish friend reach out to you to try and tell you that you’ve said something alarming or harmful or antisemitic: listen to them, learn, and say thank you.

I am VERY lucky in that all the friends I’ve personally reached out to have taken the opportunity to learn and grow and adjust their behavior. I have never told them that they should not advocate for Palestine. I have told them I want to advocate for Palestine WITH them, but I need to feel safe in order to do so. I need to feel like the people I’m advocating with don’t want me and my loved ones dead. Thank HaShem that they have listened to me. From the bottom of my heart, my friends are a blessing.

But I’ve seen an incredibly disheartening number of fellow Jews who have had the opposite experiences—being expelled from their queer communities and activist communities and book clubs and any space they once found community. This is horrid but it’s especially horrid for Jews. It’s a reminder that we are only accepted if we conform. We are only accepted if we accept abuse. Our presence is always tolerated, never wanted. Our views are not to be trusted. Our opinions are always suspect. Our motives are always sinister. Our acceptance is always conditional. And I think that hurts even more for us than you’d imagine, because our own spaces are no longer safe. We are already in diaspora. And now our synagogues and homes and other community buildings are being vandalized and attack. We are cut off from our own cultural community and now many of us are being cut off from our personal communities as well. It is a loneliness that most people outside of a diaspora will never know.

Im willing to bet that if you have/had a Jewish friend who you considered close but who seems to have disappeared from your life, it’s because you either didn’t reach out to them after 10/7 or you have failed to acknowledge the stochastic threat to Jews or the Jewish connection to Israel. Why is it important that you do this? Because we are your friends and loved ones. And when friends and loved ones tell you they are hurting, you should listen. When you say you care about someone, you should be willing to listen to them when they say you’re hurting them and then you should apologize. It is more hurtful than you can possibly imagine to watch people you thought cared about you decide to listen to people across the world who they have never met rather than simply have a conversation with a friend, because they assume that friend will dismiss the pain of Palestinians.

Many of you are assuming what your friends are feeling about Israel and Palestine, but you haven’t actually asked them. Many of you think that expressing sorrow for Israel or jews in the world, that means we cannot care about or want a better future for Palestine.

If you are lucky enough to have a friend who has tried to reach out to you, that means they are willing to forgive you for neglecting them in this time. They are willing to talk with you and try to explain their emotions in good faith. They want to find a way to advocate for progress with you. They want to keep you in their lives. They want you to understand our culture and history—not at the exclusion of anyone else’s culture and history—just at the inclusion of our own.

Because here’s the other thing: they won’t forget that you denied them understanding and respect and the benefit of the doubt. That’s not a threat. That’s a cultural feature of Judaism. We have famously long cultural memories. We remember the people and places we can trust and those who refused to give us peace and safety and basic kindness. We remember the people who targeted us, your friends and loved ones, simply because other Jews who we have never met behaved in ways you don’t understand and of which you don’t approve. You are blaming the sins of others on people you claim to love.

If someone is giving you the chance to undo the damage you have done on this, you should take it. And if you have expelled Jews from a space you once shared or failed to acknowledge their pain in this time—find them and apologize.

I am not Muslim, but I wouldn’t doubt that something similar is happening in Muslim spaces. Islamophobia and antisemitism are at terrifyingly high levels right now. And if you think you can’t support Jews without condemning Muslims or you can’t support Muslims without condemning Jews, you’re not only part of the problem—you’re the biggest part of the problem.

What we all need right now is unity, peace, solidarity, understanding, and education above all else.

#jumblr #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #islamophobia #jewish muslim solidarity

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kindnessoverperfection · 9 months

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I want to break down a common point of conflict when addressing NPD stigma.

A lot of hangups people have tend to be along the lines of "but I DO see a lot of people with actual NPD who are acting in toxic or abusive ways".

This will be kind of long, so bear with me.

Point #1: People are way more likely to be diagnosed if they exhibit "stereotypical" symptoms.

There's this image of NPD as a disorder that is only present in those with patterns of destructive behavior towards others. Many therapists have this conception. (Shockingly, the mental health field is not perfect & without stigma.)

Gonna copy-paste this here from my other blog (so forgive me if you've seen it before), because it's a good example.

Three people are criticized at work. Their boss yells at them for their performance in front of everyone. Person A gets mad and defensive. They yell back, using cutting remarks as a way to try and ease the distress they feel. Person B acts really mature and responsible the whole time, nodding along and agreeing and promising to do better, just desperate to maintain and improve their status. Desperate to be liked. Later they go home and handle their distress through self-destructive means, and spend the next few months overworking themself to the point of illness. Person C doesn't seem to respond much at all. They go quiet and seem distant. They don't lash out or lash in, but for the next month or so, their productivity drops. They simply aren't able to focus on work or self-care, no matter how hard they try. The stress is overwhelming. All three of these people have the same root issues, but only the first would be labeled a narcissist. Outwards behaviors and presentations don't reflect the pain, distress, and difficulties with life that are underlying them.

So, three main things happen.

There ends up being a higher rate of people with destructive behaviors who are diagnosed with NPD

The people who don't particularly exhibit behaviors and are considered ""too nice to have it"" are overlooked entirely (and never get any sort of help for their underlying issues, yayyy)

People are more likely to be more honest about "ugly" symptoms / symptoms that are frowned down upon than they are in other mental health communities.

(Also some people decide to act super edgy about it, which is annoying but here we are. Some of them are trolls.)

(And while I'm at it, some people are misdiagnosed with NPD because a psych sees someone who committed a violent crime and is like "uhh slap them with the Evil Asshole™ disorders!! no further thought given.")

Point #2: People who have messed up are not inhuman monsters who deserve no help or support

While I do think it's important for people to understand that patterns of toxic behaviors aren't the ONLY way NPD can present, I'm not going to let the conversation stop at "some of us are nice though!!"

Human beings aren't RPG characters who can be sorted into "monster" or "ally". Every single person has done something hurtful, has messed up, exhibits some sort of behavior that puts strain on their relationships sometimes.

So I'll bullet point some aspects of this that need to be talked about.

People without NPD also commonly exhibit toxic behaviors, but people ignore that nowadays. Either they armchair diagnose anyone who's slightly rude, or they only focus on it in pwNPD and ignore it in themselves or others. NTs can be jerks too, and they're probably less likely to acknowledge it than pwNPD who are constantly watching and checking themselves and analyzing their behaviors and attempting to do better.

Assuming that NPD makes someone abusive doesn't help anyone. Can it impact behaviors, and make it more difficult for people to be self-aware? Of course. But an important step in healing from any mental health condition (especially personality disorders, ime) is realizing that you're not inherently ""bad"", and that you can take responsibility for your actions and learn to deal with things in constructive ways. Just going "NPD makes people bad, full stop"- other than being a mean shitty thing to say- absolves people of guilt and asserts that there's no reason for them to try and improve.

Yes, it's okay for people to hate their abusers. Their abuser. Not an entire community of people who happen to (maybe) share a trait with them.

Building on the above point, people tend to go in defense mode when they hear things like "pwNPD who have acted in toxic ways can learn to improve their behavior", "people shouldn't be saying awful things about folks with this condition", etc. because they automatically try to apply this to their abuser. Interpersonal situations are very different from society-wide mental health access. No, don't stay with your abuser expecting them to change, and don't hold onto the hope that they will. No, don't censor yourself or your hatred or anger towards them. Just don't make blanket statements about a disorder that they may or may not have- blame their abusive actions, not their mental health.

"I hate you for your abusive actions and the harm that you caused me." =/= "I hate a group of people because of an inherent unchangeable part of them that's tied directly to severe childhood trauma they suffered. Because of it, they're evil and unlovable and are incapable of change. They're inhuman and will never experience real connection with others." ..........See the difference??

Even if there were a disorder with a 100% rate of toxic douchey behaviors, I'd want the conversation around it to be changed. I'd want different words to be used to divide up the spaces and conversations and resources, so that survivors of abusive or toxic behavior can get help, but that the disorder still has space to be treated. Otherwise, there are zero resources for healing. Nothing is being done to help these people or solve the issue. They're just told they may as well not try. They're blocked from healthcare entirely, despite how the entire point of being diagnosed with a condition is supposed to be to treat it.

There's a wide range of people who have NPD- it presents in many different ways, a person who has it may or may not exhibit harmful behaviors- but no one deserves to be denied treatment or told they're unlovable because of a condition they have that was formed from trauma.

Speak out against abusive behavior. Don't destroy healthcare for a medical condition.

#actuallynpd #npd stigma #narcissistic personality disorder

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gotham-daydreams · 6 months

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Hi im so sorry if this has been asked before but in your not series, which i absolutely adore by the way, Since Alfred getting the batfam to see the videos and investigate is what kicked the batfam off on their yandere domino effect, what would have happened if y/n kept in contact with Alfred and only Alfred? Maybe giving him little updates, nothing that could really be tracked but enough to tell them how everything is going maybe like through letters with no return address or something. would he still have done what he did? Or would we still have something else to kick the batfam off on their yandere mode, or would they just never realize that the y/n was gone?

Hello!

Considering what happens in the series and everything- I'd say that Alfred still would try to get the Batfam to look for Y/n. Since, well, I'll let you on a tiny little secret; Y/n did sort of do something like that, but its gotten to a point where there is less 'character', and it's more to the point. It's almost as if Y/n is trying to further distance themselves from the family altogether, and I wonder why they'd go and do something like that 🤔

Though- for the sake of the ask, let's say that all of that has yet to happen, and Y/n has been pretty good about sending letters and such. Alfred would be happier than he is in the series, I'll say that much, but ultimately I think he'd still eventually send out the Batfam to look for Y/n.

This is because Alfred wants to talk with Y/n, and I think I may have mentioned this in another ask- but he basically doesn't want to have to further deal with this "one sided nonsense" as I believe I put it. With no return address, or really anything to go off of location wise- even if he did write something back (and he has), then there would be no way he could send it to Y/n. Not to mention that over the months Y/n has been gone did he get more... greedy as he began to miss them.

Yes the letters are nice, and he does deeply appreciate and love how they're trying to keep in contact with him and only him by using such means, but that ultimately isn't enough for him. He wants to talk with them too, he wants to communicate, and most of all- he just wants to see them again. (Which, that in itself includes a bit more than just simply seeing Y/n, but that's for later.)

He wants to be in their presence again, and just... bond and talk with them without the pen and paper. He wants things to go 'back to normal' in that way, since he doesn't necessarily care if Y/n stays in the manor or not (he does, but he can look past it under certain conditions), he just wants to see them. A want which can develop into an obsessive need- kind of like how it does in the series.

Really, the way to have a happy Alfred that won't send the fam after your ass, is to honestly just visit him once in a while. Which, in itself may be a bit hard if you don't like the Batfam, and aren't willing to even risk them seeing you in the slightest, or just generally aren't comfortable in the Manor at this point. But even if it's just helping him out a bit in the garden, or generally with outside work, or sneaking in just to snag a snack he left out, then he'll be a significantly happier camper that won't manipulate and guilt trip the rest of the family to come and bring you back home. Not right away, anyways.

Just make sure he doesn't ever know if you get hurt or something. Especially if you got hurt at home or because of someone close to you. The intention will hardly matter to Alfred, believe me. The happier you keep him, and watch what you say, the less likely it is that he'll begin to start looking for little things that he'll use as reasoning for kick starting the family acknowledging/worrying about you.

Overall, just through letters and essentially one sided conversations, yeah- Alfred will still basically kick start everything.

The little updates and such will be appreciated, and he'll be fine at first, but at some point he's going to get more greedy, and will want to see Y/n. The letters and such won't be enough, and even if he'll still hang onto them, he's too selfish to be fully content with them for long.

So, yeah! Everything still sort of goes down about the same way as the series! :]

I hope this answered your question!

#talking daydreams #yandere batfam #platonic yandere batfam #platonic yandere #yandere alfred #yandere alfred pennyworth

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faintedlcve · 5 months

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False Fronts IV

part 4 of 4

fluff version.

hii omg i finally did this im so happy with this there's an angst version as well bc who doesnt like some good ol' angst from time to time

also the other version was released early bc im stupid so ty to @berryzxx for reminding me (i just want a reason to tag you)

pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader

warnings:fluffff arguments (oohOOHOoH) swearing, not so fake dating (but are they?), the and y/n being idiots, not a happy ending, not proof read (as usual) and my writing

summary: being asked to fake date someone to get a petty ex off their back is the worst possible way of being friend-zoned. you, however, were willing to take any chances to get as close as you could to theodore nott.

angst is hereeee

reblogs with tags are always appreciated mwah

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4: angst

The tension between you and Theo had been brewing for days, each passing moment adding weight to the unspoken emotions that hung heavily in the air. Unable to bear the silence any longer, you initiated the conversation, the frustration and confusion evident in your voice.

"Theo, can we talk?" you asked, your voice tinged with a mix of apprehension and determination.

He glanced up from his book, an unreadable expression flickering across his face. "Sure, what's up?"

"It's about us," you began cautiously, the words feeling heavier than you'd anticipated. "I feel like there's something here, between us. But I'm confused about where you stand."

Theo's expression flickered, a fleeting mixture of uncertainty and conflict clouding his features. "I don't know if diving into a relationship right now is the best idea."

"But this isn't just about a relationship," you insisted, your voice rising in exasperation. "It's about acknowledging what's been brewing between us, Theo."

He sighed, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "I'm not sure what I want, Y/N. It's complicated."

"Complicated?" You scoffed, the frustration simmering within you. "What's so complicated about being honest?"

"Why can't you understand?" Theo's voice rose, mirroring your frustration. "I don't want to mess things up and end up causing you pain."

"You're not getting it!" Your voice echoed in the charged atmosphere. "I need to know where we stand, and your indecision isn't helping."

Theo's reluctance grated on your nerves, fueling the intensity of the argument. "I need you to be honest with me, Theo. I can't keep waiting for something that might never happen!"

"I know, but I'm conflicted," he admitted, his tone wavering.

Frustration boiled within you. "Conflicted about what? Us?"

His gaze shifted away, a mix of guilt and concern clouding his features. "I... I don't want Jess to hurt you."

"I can handle Jess, she isn't your responsibility," you asserted firmly, the frustration simmering beneath your words.

"You don't get it, do you?" Theo's voice cut through the tension, edged with frustration. "She's MY ex."

His words stung, and the heat of the argument intensified. "And that gives you the right to dictate what's good for me?" you shot back, your voice rising in indignation.

"Look, I'm just trying to protect you," Theo retorted, his tone laced with urgency.

"Protect me? From what?" Your voice rose, the frustration boiling over. "I can handle my own affairs, Theo. I don't need you deciding what's best for me!"

The tension crackled between you, each word spoken a testament to the underlying emotions that had escalated into a heated argument. The clash of opinions and conflicting desires hung heavily in the charged atmosphere, leaving the potential relationship teetering on the edge of uncertainty. The anticipation in the room was suffocating.

Days stretched into weeks, and the awkward distance between you and Theo became the new norm. Despite the avoidance, every accidental encounter sent a rush of conflicting emotions through you. Butterflies danced in your stomach, a bittersweet reminder of the connection you once shared, now lost in a fog of misunderstanding.

Each time your paths crossed, the unresolved tension simmered beneath the surface. The silent longing for resolution battled with the ache of hurt and confusion, leaving you caught in a turmoil of emotions whenever Theo came into view.

The avoidance hadn't dulled the effect he had on you. His presence was still magnetic, drawing your attention despite the unspoken rift that divided you both. The simple sight of him evoked a rush of emotions, a testament to the bond you once shared and the rift that now tore you apart.

With every passing moment, the yearning for clarity clashed with the fear of confronting the situation, leaving you entangled in a web of unresolved emotions and unspoken apologies, the butterflies a painful yet undeniable reminder of the connection you couldn't seem to sever.

Summoning your courage, you approached Theo's dorm, determined to offer an overdue apology. A hesitant knock resulted in eerie silence. Unsure of Theo's whereabouts, you glanced around the deserted hallway, your resolve mingling with uncertainty.

Taking a tentative step forward, you reached for the doorknob, finding it unlocked. The decision to enter felt both intrusive and necessary. The room was devoid of life, the emptiness echoing the void that had developed between you and Theo.

Your gaze drifted to Theo's desk, where a single piece of paper lay. The handwriting was unmistakable, sending a jolt of emotions through you as you read the words:

Last night was so fun, so glad you dropped Y/N.

- Jess

Disbelief and a pang of deception ricocheted through you. The words were like a gut punch, shattering the fragile hope you had held for reconciliation and understanding. Confusion clouded your thoughts as you grappled with the apparent evidence before you.

Your mind raced, attempting to process the meaning behind Jess's note. It seemed to confirm your worst fears, undermining the fragile trust you had in the situation and leaving your heart aching with the weight of assumed betrayal.

With tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, you turned away, the intention of offering an apology now replaced by a swirl of hurt. The unaddressed misunderstanding had taken root, poisoning the hope for amends and leaving you in a cloud of uncertainty and hurt.

After catching a glimpse of the note and feeling a surge of mixed emotions, you found yourself actively avoiding Theo. Days turned into a tense cycle of dodging encounters and deflecting questions, leaving Theo increasingly perplexed by your sudden distance.

"Why are you avoiding me?" Theo finally confronted you, his tone a blend of confusion and concern.

Your gaze wavered, torn between the urge to explain and the fear of facing the truth. "I just need some space," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, evading the heart of the matter.

Theo's expression shifted from confusion to hurt, his eyes clouded with the weight of your avoidance. "Did i do something wrong?" he pressed gently, hoping for a glimmer of understanding.

You hesitated, unsure how to voice the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. "I don't know," you muttered, the words falling between you like an insurmountable barrier.

The tension between you was palpable, an unspoken rift widening with every passing moment of silence. The distance between you grew, leaving both of you stranded in a sea of unanswered questions and unspoken feelings.

Theo sensed your unease. "Hey, something's been off. What's going on?" he asked, a tinge of concern in his voice.

"Well..." you hesitated, before showing him the note, unaware that he didn't know about it. "She sent you that note?" Theo's voice edged with surprise and confusion.

"What! No," you replied hastily, caught off guard by his assumption, unaware he didn't have any knowledge of the note's existence.

Theo's eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment. "I'm lost. What's happening?" he asked, completely unaware of the note you were holding, his confusion evident in his expression.

"You're being accused of cheating on me with Jess, but now I think you're being framed," you explained, your voice tinged with concern as you showed him the note.

"What? I would never! You know that!" Theo's words spilled out, shock and disbelief evident in his tone and expression.

His vehement denial resonated with the sincerity you knew so well, and a wave of relief washed over you. You knew him, knew his values, and believed in his loyalty.

"I love you, I'd never do anything to hurt you," he continued, desperation and honesty lacing his words as he took his face in his hands turning it to face him.

His earnest declaration struck a chord within you, dispelling some of the doubts that had clouded your mind. You realized that amidst the chaos and confusion, trusting in your bond with Theo was paramount.

"Yeah, I-I'm sorry." you stammered, your voice filled with a mix of emotions, as you finally let go of the lingering doubts.

Theo's eyes softened with understanding, a gentle smile forming on his lips. Without another word, he closed the distance between you, enveloping you in a reassuring embrace. In that moment, the unspoken affection bloomed, filling the air with an undeniable warmth.

With a rush of emotions, you met halfway, your lips gently pressing against his in a tender and heartfelt kiss.

"I love you too" you whispered as he pulled you in again for a kiss.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡*:☆

hi hello! this is the end of the series. check out the angsty ver here if you'd like! here are a few fics to read while i work on my next one:

masterlist

reader's choice (mattheo x reader)

reader's choice (theodore x reader)

i honestly had so much fun writing this thank you for sticking along with this <33 sorry for how late this is i was like so busy and im also lazy so yea

taglist: @hisparentsgallerryy @jetblackpayne @delulu4marauders @ahead-fullofdreams

if you want to be added to my theodore/any other character's taglist just send me an ask/dm!

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egotisticalmachine · 9 months

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saw a post that was essentially like "actually the concepts of [cluster B disorder] abuse arent ableist because we do have abusive behaviors that we need to unlearn and so thats why our disorders are stigmatized" mf ive BEEN unlearning them. ive been teaching myself how to be less manipulative since i was in high school, and im still putting in the effort to improve but ive changed a whole damn lot from the kid i used to be. and just because someone exhibits some unhealthy behaviors does not mean theyre abusive. there is a difference between causing harm to others sometimes and being outright abusive. everyone hurts others on occasion. everyone has unhealthy and toxic behavior patterns they need to unlearn. thats not fucking unique to cluster B disorders.

i am not excusing people who ARE abusive and whose abuse DOES tie in with their cluster B symptoms, but im also not putting up with the fucking idea that its somehow all of our fault that other people want to assume were all heartless shitty irredeemable monsters. personality disorders are chronic and incurable but people with them can still improve and be kind, even if they make occasional mistakes just like how everyone else makes mistakes.

it is not ableism to call out abusive behavior and make the person responsible face consequences, thats entirely correct. it is not ableism to say that people need to put in effort to overcome harmful behavior patterns, also completely correct.

what IS ableism is assuming that everyone who struggles with cluster B symptoms is automatically a full blown abuser, and sweeping aside the progress that so many of us have worked so damn hard to make, just because YOU dont think that progress is good enough. i dont care if you also have a cluster B disorder, its still ableism. some of us have worked hard to be good people and dont fucking appreciate having that effort spit on. and if you feel that your toxic behaviors tread into the territory of being abusive, that is not my fucking problem just because we have the same or similar disorders.

and what ELSE is ableism is the fucking fact that people with cluster B disorders struggle so much to find any resources to improve our toxic behaviors because psych professionals see us as inherently horrible and everything written about our disorders revolves around how others can cope with being around us, how to heal from us, how to spot us, how to manipulate us before we can manipulate them. THAT is fucking ableism. a lack of resources because others are so hellbent on hating and blaming and hurting us. how are we supposed to even be expected to improve when nobody is willing to help us? and yet we do. despite everything there are those of us who improve. and its not fucking acknowledged.

because i value my blood pressure, im blocking anyone who wants to try arguing with me or putting words in my mouth.

#ableism cw #abuse cw #cluster b #actually cluster b #bpd #actually bpd #npd #actually npd #aspd #actually aspd #hpd #actually hpd #actually borderline #actually narcissistic #actually antisocial #actually histrionic

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ineed-douma-sobadly · 2 months

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𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓲𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮

warnings !!: douma x fem!reader, mentions pussy & dick, being tied up, douma getting turned on, fucking, douma has feelings !!

lately doumas been feeling like you don't love him as much as you to and wants to apologize. He really wants to make it up to you but he's busy with about 100+ of people's complaints all day and night. One his days off is mainly his time for missions he has to go to and assort other business. All day while attending his followers complaining, all he overthinks is you seeing someone else. So one night, he left in the middle of one without saying a word to the person leaving them clueless and staring at their leader who was supposed to be listening. that night, when he enter the room he saw you sleeping on your side like the most beautiful women he's seen (𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓸𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓲𝓸𝓷.) he came over to you wrapping one of his arms around your waist making you wake up a little.

"oh! I'm sorry for disturbing you." Douma said after noticing that you woke up. You gave him a reassuring smile that made him know you acknowledged him.

"I'm sorry for having so many things to do I barely see you at all lately. If there's anything I can do let me know. it that's ok~?" Douma whispered in your ear desperately. You where half asleep and couldn't think straight.

"I'm fine with what ever you do. Nothings gonna hurt me if it's half your fault.." Douma heard your soft tired voice and it made him weak. You rolled over facing him now that you where somewhat awake. Douma started petting through your hair as you where right up against him facing each other. you started caressing through his hair also. doumas hand started wondering down your back and rubbing on it. basically 𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰. your wrapped you arms over his neck as you where on the verge of falling back to sleep.

"Don't go to sleep yet my beautiful lotus~ I still have to remind you how much I cherish and love you."

The second he said that your heart immediately started beating in your chest. You couldn't tell whether it was excitement or fear. But however, you did look forward to it was you felt douma put his hands around your legs and lift your clothes up all the way. Before you could fully tense up he hushed

"its only me. No need to get all riled up"

you decided to get your self caught in the moment and started to undress him as well to get im into it to.

"aw~ Look at you! You want it too~♡"

you hid your face in your arm while smirking. douma got up and grabbed up a string from over on the side dresser. He grabbed both your hands and tied them above you. Your gasp gave him a chance to get his mouth inside your giving you a 𝓭𝓮𝓮𝓹 passionate kiss. While one hand was cuffing your hands. The other one was caressing between your legs. He was basically soaking his hand with your juices before slowly going into your clit. The noises you let out made his dick twitch.

"Now, do you feel appreciated by me?~"

"I always have love." You said between trying to catch your breath.

"Good. But I think I wanna do this a little more don't you think?" Douma told you while sounding slutty as ever. You didn't even answer his question and spread your legs giving douma a silent answer. It was Botta be a very long time of just you and him you both wanted at that time. A night full of skin slapping together and sweet pleasure for both of you.

But the cultists on the other side of the door was disturbed by the lewd things they witnessed between douma and his mistress.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG😍😋🥰🤤😪

OFFICAL ART OF HIM IS MAKING ME AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHMEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF MMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQQQQQQQWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKWOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK MEOW MEOW MEOW DADDY BARK BARK BARK MEOW MEOW MEOWBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW GRRR *bite* *whimper* BARK BARK MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOWwoof woof bark bark AAHHH nghhh woof meow meow meow meow meow meow rhhhhhhhh woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱 ahhh nghh mpph ghh MEOW MEOW DADDY BARK BARK BARK MEOW MEOW MEOWBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK MEOW a-ahg~~nghhh~ MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW GRRR *bite* *whimper* BARK BARK MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW😘😘😘

im sane yall.

xoxo❗️

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cranetreegang · 1 year

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Save Her - Ominis x FemReader

Alright my fellow Ominis Simps. Here is the angst chapter (a lil late i know my b i was watching a rocket launch). If I don't make at least one of you cry, i will shut down my account and never write again. on god. no cap.

im just kidding ;) i ain't leaving suckas! hahahah you're stuck with me >:)

But low key, i do need someone to tell me to stop. i think im getting too crazy with some of these ideas.

Read Part 1 Here

🎶 Music to enjoy/feel to -> I'm Sending You Away and Never Goodbye and The Departure 🎶

Summary: Ominis and the Fifth Year are no longer speaking to one another. A rift Sebastian takes note of, and tries to bridge for them. Things take a turn, and she may be lost to them... forever

Word Count: ~7,400 words

Warnings: ANGST, Fighting, slight cursing, mentions of death, near death

Read my other Ominis Fics Here

------------------------------

Sebastian knows something is wrong.

Over the past few days, Ominis has been far more curt than normal - not even bothering to exchange pleasantries half the time and he rarely ever smiles unless it’s a sneering smirk after a scathing remark. His patience is all but gone as well. His short temper extends not just to Sebastian though. A Second Year, who made the unfortunate mistake of bumping into Ominis one morning, received a tongue-lashing so intense, it would have made Professor Sharp blush. And now, almost everyone gives Ominis a wide berth so as to not face his wrath.

Sebastian hasn’t witnessed Ominis this cold and cruel since their First Year, but even then he was still civil if not a bit aloof. He’s tried to speak to Ominis about his recent behavior, but Ominis is quick to dismiss him. Even going so far as to state it’s none of Sebastian’s concern and to stop ‘meddling with affairs he has no business being in’. Sebastian would be lying if Ominis’ words hadn’t stung him.

Sebastian also took note in the lacking presence of their mutual friend. She was a common sight in the Undercroft or hanging off Ominis’ arm, but she’s been notably absent. When Sebastian brought up asking her to come study with them, Ominis gave him such a scathing glare, Sebastian had flinched away to avoid any hexes he might send his way. But, beneath the menacing stare, was an undeniable pain at the mention of her. And Sebastian almost couldn’t believe it. He stormed all over the castle to confront her for hurting Ominis. But then he found her.

She was leaning against a window overlooking the courtyard - her gaze far away. She looked abysmal and her features were contorted into an equally pained expression as Ominis. After he saw her, he started to really take notice of the state she’s been in.

She's all but withdrawn. At dinner, she picks around her food while she glances towards Ominis - barely replying to anything Sebastian is trying to tell her. He’s caught Natty and Poppy both trying to help with her unkempt hair - brushing out the tangles in between classes while she stares blankly ahead. The dark circles under her eyes shows she doesn’t sleep much, if at all. When others speak to her, she rarely acknowledges, or she speaks so softly she might as well not have said anything at all. And everytime she tries to approach Ominis, Sebastian swears Ominis turns his back to her and goes the other way. It’s her longing gaze which eats at Sebastian the most. He’s never seen her this pathetic and beaten before.

Sebastian sighs as he thinks about his two friends. This cannot continue, he decides. And since they’ve yet to mend whatever is wrong between them on their own, he knows he has to step in and figure out what’s going on. If not for their sake, at least for his own.

He first approaches her after potions. Having just witnessed Ominis storming out without so much as acknowledging Sebastian as he passed, he figures he would have far more luck with her than Ominis at the moment.

“Hey.” Sebastian greets her with a tentative smile while he helps her pack her things.

She gives him a smile back, but it doesn’t even come close to reaching her glassy eyes.

“Alright. What’s going on between you two?” Sebastian questions her as they walk out of the classroom. “And don’t say it’s ‘nothing’ as it most certainly is not. Tell me what’s gotten into the two of you.”

She looks at him as if she had been stricken. Her eyes trail over to where Ominis stomped away moments ago.

“It’s my fault… I messed it all up, Sebastian.” She whispers, her lip quivering.

He doesn’t waste time and he takes her to the more secluded section of the castle - since the Undercroft is absolutely out of the question. They take their place next to one another overlooking the Black Lake - where the wind carries its damp smell all the way here, on the rickety, old long bridge outside the Clocktower Courtyard. The looming gray clouds bring about an oncoming winter storm and it makes the wind bite their cheeks. She grips onto the wooden post with a somber expression and her eyes are glazed over.

“Tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help. I mean, I can’t fathom how you could actually mess something up with Ominis beyond repair. He adores you.” Sebastian says with a grin.

She gives him a wry smile, “I doubt he adores me anymore.” She closes her eyes with a deep sigh then asks in a whisper, “Have you ever made a mistake that you wish with every fiber of your being you could take back?”

Sebastian nods with a solemn expression, “Of course. I think we all have, at some point.”

It takes her several breaths before she continues.

“I’m sure you’re aware that Ominis comes from a long line of Legilimens.”

He nods, “I know Salazar was one. Can’t say I’m surprised the talent stayed in the bloodline.”

“Well, I was hoping I could help him master his Legilimency. So he would be able to… feel me whenever he wished. It was supposed to help quell his worries when I’m not at the castle. So he knows I’m alright.”

He waits for her to continue while her fingers pick at the weathered wood and a grimace consumes her features.

“After a particularly intense session, he now believes that I want to-, that I-I want to fix him. Wh-Which isn’t true. He’s not broken. He doesn’t need mending. I know this.”

Sebastian lowers his gaze to the chasm below with a quiet inhale. He knows Ominis to be sensitive on the subject. Ominis’ mother in particular has been keen on him being ‘cured’ - going so far as to procure him magical eyes to be inserted at the removal of his current eyes.

She lets out a shaky breath as her head falls, “B-But, maybe my motives were never in good nature. Despite my intentions, perhaps on some level, I did want to… fix him. And this was always selfish in nature.”

She sighs, “I won’t deny the allure of him able to see - even if it’s just through memories. It’s exciting. A gift.” She pauses and Sebastian can see her body trembling. “A gift, he never asked for, but I assumed he wanted.”

Her hands cover her face, “Oh, Sebastian - I didn’t realize how carelessly I approached all of this until it was too late. And now, he won’t even speak to me.”

Her last sentence comes out as a near whisper and she ducks away from him to hide her crying. Sebastian grabs her, turning her back to him, then he pulls her into a tight hug. She holds onto him as her head presses into his chest.

“Hey. Don’t cry. Don’t cry now.” He hushes. “It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.”

“No. No it won’t. You didn’t see the way he looked at me, Sebastian. I’ve never seen him so cold. He hates me. I fear this can’t be mended in any way. I-I’m sure he believes I’m no better than his wretched family.”

Sebastian pulls her away with a frown and furrowed brows, “You are nothing like that. Don’t even compare yourself to them. Do you hear me?!”

She lowers her gaze from his and his fingers jerk her chin back up to him.

“Look at me.” He demands in a stern tone. “You need to stop wallowing in self-pity this instant. And we need to come up with a way to sit Ominis down to work this whole thing out. You both are being absolutely ridiculous. Him even more so. He’s being a right bloody arse, and you’re the only one who can sort him out.”

“But, he doesn’t want to hear what I have to say. Anytime I try to go to him, he just ignores me, or walks away.” She grimaces - biting her lip to keep another wave of sobs from spilling out.

Sebastian smirks, “It’s a good thing I have my own way with him. I think I may have an idea.”

===========================

Sebastian will be the first to admit his surprise at Ominis’ acceptance to go to Hogsmeade, but he’s not about to complain.

The journey there is all but silent. The storm of yesterday is upon them and leaves the sky in a dark gloom. Chilling winds cut through the wall of trees - kicking up the snow along the banks - and Sebastian wraps his arms around his chest to keep some of his warmth. He spares glances at his friend, noting how his brows are pinched together and his lips are pressed into a tight frown - seemingly unaffected by the frigid gales. He sees the dark circles under Ominis’ eyes as well and he finds some hope, that underneath all his bitter anger, Ominis still cares for her. And he’s just as upset by all this as she is.

It’s once they’re at Honeydukes, does Sebastian finally find his chance to broach the subject. He catches Ominis lingering on a shelf of candies. Her favorite. His fingers glide over the boxes and he has a somber smile as he does.

“You should get her something.” Sebastian says as he stands near Ominis.

He retracts his hand, as if burned, and he sneers, “Why on earth would I do that?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Sebastian drawls out while Ominis turns towards the door - the bell ringing as they both leave the warm shop and head into the bitter cold, “to cheer her up. She’s been quite down lately. Like someone killed her beloved pet right in front of her. Not even Poppy can cheer her up - and she’s been throwing Puffskeins at her all week.”

Ominis frowns at this, hurrying his stride - but Sebastian is hot on his heels.

“Is that what this venture is about? Did she put you up to this?” Ominis spits.

“Far from it. She barely speaks any more - did you know that? I couldn’t talk to her if I tried.”

Sebastian catches the wince rippling across Ominis’ features before he resumes his stoic indifference.

“Well, perhaps that’s for the best.”

Sebastian’s eyes widen, “You don’t mean that, Ominis.”

“What if I did?” He retorts with an edge in his voice - any others would have backed down, but Sebastian has never been one to take heed of such things.

“Because if you did, you’d be as cruel as that brother of yours. And you and I both know, that’s not true.” Sebastian states. “Tell me. What’s wrong? What happened between you two? I thought you adored each other. And now, you practically hate her guts. Has she done something truly that unforgivable?”

“I don’t hate her.” Ominis snaps then he grimaces with a slight shake of his head, “I thought she was different. But, she’s just like all the others. I should’ve known better than to expect anything else.”

“What does that even mean, Ominis?”

Ominis scoffs, “It means exactly that. If you want to know more - go interrogate her instead. I’m sure she’s dying to tell you all about it. Since she’s so apt on fixing everyone’s problems, it’ll be good for her to worry about herself for a change.”

Sebastian winces at his harsh tone while doubts of him being able to help start to bubble up. He sucks in a sharp breath, clenching his fists in determination.

“You know,” Sebastian says while they wind their way on the path back to Hogwarts, “is there any way you two could talk this out? Perhaps this is all one big misunderstanding!”

“Doubtful.”

Sebastian curses to himself at Ominis’ stubbornness. He hates when Ominis gets like this - and there’s only ever been one person who’s able to get him to come around to reason. And Ominis is refusing to ever speak to her again.

“Can’t you at least give her a chance to apologize? Bury the hatchet, and whatnot?” Sebastian practically pleads. “You do care for her. I know you do, Ominis. Despite all this guise of pretending you don’t. And guess what - she still cares about you. So, what’s stopping you? Your pride? I sincerely hope not. Because you, of all people, should know better.”

Ominis’ brows pinch together and his eyes soften. Ominis won’t deny, it’s been extremely difficult to keep up his ‘indifference’ towards her. He longs for her. But, he doesn’t know how to face her.

“I-,” Ominis stops, his wand pointing to something ahead on the path. Sebastian follows his wand until he sees what’s got Ominis’ attention.

She’s walking up to them - her hands are wringing together and her eyes are glued to Ominis. Sebastian curses to himself again.

Ominis turns to Sebastian with a scowl, “You lied. You did speak to her. To what? Ambush me?!”

“I told you to wait in the Undercroft.” Sebastian hisses at her.

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t wait any longer.” She speaks up. “I just want to talk to you, Ominis. Please.”

Sebastian can see the hurt within Ominis, despite his best attempts to keep it all at bay.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Ominis stomps past her.

“Wait, please!” She catches up to him, tugging on his sleeve to get him to stop.

“Get your hand off of me!” He whips around with a snarl, “Are you dense? Surely you must realize that I want nothing to do with you!”

Sebastian stands next to her with his mouth agape, “Ominis.”

Ominis bites his tongue hard enough to flood his mouth with a hot copper taste. He’s ready to yank his arm from her loose grasp and run away from the both of them when the noise of twigs breaking gets all of their attention.

“You!” A masked man shouts as he emerges from the treeline - his wand pointing towards her and Ominis. “There you are! You lil’ meddling brat.”

Without pause, Ominis hears a spell being cast. He doesn’t have time to react before she steps in front of him. He hears her gasp and her body crumples to the ground with an audible thud. Sebastian is firing back at their assailants and spells whiz past Ominis’ head - just barely missing him. Ominis gathers his wits enough to help Sebastian. His casting is frantic and phrenetic. He hates the satisfaction he has in hearing the Ashwinders cries of pain when he and Sebastian land their heated spells, but he doesn’t restrain himself.

It doesn’t take much to drive the dark wizards back, and they soon retreat into the forest from whence they came. A chilling stillness settles in the air with not a bird’s song nor insect’s chitter to break it - only the howling wind and Ominis’ and Sebastian’s heavy breaths.

Ominis turns to check on her, when his foot hits something. He falls to the ground and he nearly recoils at touching her leg. He says her name over and over again as his hands move up her body to her face. He searches her face for any sort of movement, but she’s still. His heart seizes once he gets to her eyes. They’re wide open. Frozen in a lifeless expression. Sebastian stares at the scene with his mouth agape and his heart twisting.

“Sebastian? Is she alright? What’s wrong with her?” Ominis whimpers. He shouldn’t be this numb, nor feel that his world is disintegrating around him. But he does. And he doesn’t know how to make it stop.

Sebastian is somewhat thankful Ominis cannot see her as he’s sure Ominis would shatter at the sight. Her eyes are wide, swallowed in an eerie teal mist, and staring blankly ahead. If it weren’t for the slight movements of her chest - he would believe her dead. Ominis drags her into his arms as he feels over her face in horror.

“Answer me!” Ominis demands, his haunting gray eyes a full on tempest as he searches in vain for Sebastian.

“She’s alive.” He states in a stern tone and Ominis lets out an audible sigh. “But, something’s wrong. I-I think they cursed her.” Sebastian can taste the bile in his mouth at the thought. “We need to get her to Hogwarts. Now.”

Ominis shuts his eyes then nods.

Sebastian casts a Hover Charm on her - making her float lifelessly in the air. Ominis holds her close to him and they carry her back to the castle. They sprint into the Hospital Wing and start to babble like madmen once they arrive. The Nurse helps set their unconscious friend on a bed then pushes them back with a flick of her wand and she’s quick to work without a single word.

Ominis and Sebastian stand in silence. Sebastian glances over to his eerily still best friend and he places his hand on Ominis’ shoulder.

“She’ll be okay.” He whispers. “She’s a lot tougher than she looks.”

Ominis trembles under Sebastian’s touch, so he brings Ominis under his arm into a strong side hug. Sebastian hates this. He hates waiting for an answer. He hates seeing his friend - hurt and unmoving. And he hates the wretched expression upon Ominis. It sends Sebastian into a spiral of helplessness. He holds Ominis tighter - it’s the least he can do… the only thing he can do.

“I told her I wanted nothing to do with her.” He closes his eyes with a shaky breath. “Why did I say such a vicious thing to her?”

Sebastian opens his mouth to speak, but Madame Blainey approaches them with a grim expression.

“Her body is unharmed. But, she’s suffering from a botched Memory Charm.” Madame Blainey states.

“What does that mean? Will she be alright then? That means you can fix it, right?” Sebastian questions.

Madame Blainey sighs, her eyes downcast, “The state she’s currently in is not optimistic. She will have to be transferred to St. Mungos for further treatment. And…,”

“And what?” Ominis’ voice is cold and devoid of any emotion.

“St. Mungos will keep her comfortable.” Blainey spares them a sad, pitying smile between the two boys. “You may need to prepare yourselves for the possibility of her not waking from this.”

Ominis’ shoulders sag and Sebastian scowls - taking a step towards the Matron with clenched fists.

“That can’t be. You said it was a shoddy charm. So, why can’t it be remedied? Why can’t you heal her?!” Sebastian demands, his voice rising with every question.

The Nurse raises both of her hands to ease Sebastian, but it does little to quell the indignation dancing in his dark eyes.

“The Charm may not have worked as intended. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t affect her.” Madame Blainey turns towards the occupied bed - where she lays, unmoving upon the pristine white sheets.

“She’s currently lost in her own mind. Unless she’s able to find her way back, I’m afraid she will remain lost to us.”

Madame Blainey turns back to the two boys, “I am truly so sorry. I wish I had better news. I’ll leave you two alone with her.”

Madame Blainey bows her head before she goes into her office - shutting her door with a click.

Sebastian glares at the shut door while Ominis takes shaky steps forward until he reaches the foot of her bed. His fingers trace up her leg until they reach her hand. His hand wraps around hers and he lets out a gasp.

“She’s so cold.” He whispers.

Ominis collapses to his knees with a silent sob, “This is all my fault.”

Sebastian goes to his side, wrapping an arm around his heaving shoulders. Sebastian bites his lip to keep his own tears at bay.

“This is not your fault, Ominis.” He squeezes Ominis’ shoulder while his other hand rubs up and down Ominis’ arm.

“It is. It is.” Ominis cries. “She wouldn’t be like this if I hadn’t been so cruel to her. I-If I would’ve given her the chance to speak. Instead, I-I just ignored her. I knew she was hurting, Sebastian. I knew I was hurting her. But, I chose to ignore it. All because I assumed the worst in her. And now, the last thing I said to her was that I didn’t want her.”

Ominis lets out a heavy breath, “Yet, she still chose to protect me. Even then she still… cared.”

Ominis manages to get back to his unstable legs long enough to stumble towards the head of the bed. He feels over her face, brushing aside her hair as he does so. He buries himself into the crook of her neck and Sebastian can only place a reassuring hand upon Ominis’ back - and watch.

“Please. Please. Wake up. Wake up and tell me what a fool I am. And how foolish I’ve been. Please, just wake up.” Ominis begs.

Sebastian can’t stand how hurt Ominis is, nor can he stand the blank expression upon her face staring at him. So, he leaves without a word. His destination - plainly written in his mind.

====================

Ominis can barely hear the breaths leaving her. He has to strain his ears to catch the hint of an exhale escaping her. He places his hand over her heart. There’s a slight rise and fall, and a faint strumming of a near nonexistent heartbeat against his palm.

“If this is your way of getting back at me for how-,” his throat cinches and he has to suck in a sharp breath, “For how I’ve been. I’d say you’ve made your point. You can stop. You can wake up now.”

He sounds pathetic and desperate, even to his own ears, but he doesn’t care. He’ll gladly grovel at her feet, weep for forgiveness, anything. Anything. He'd give, he’d do, he’d say anything, just to hear her curse his name - to direct all the malicious things he’s said to her unto him. At least then, she’d be…

He shakes his head at the grim thought. She’s not dead. She’s simply lost, as the Matron put it.

“Lost in thought.” He murmurs. “I hope they’re pleasant thoughts. An old adventure perhaps? The ones you like to tell me about - even though they worry me to know you were in such a perilous situation.” He laughs, bitterly and near sobbing.

“I hope it’s the one you and I were on together. I enjoyed it. Although, you did nearly get us killed.” He smiles to himself.

He feels over the top of her far too cold hand and he slips off his school robe. He drapes it across her while he focuses on the rise and fall of her chest - satisfied she is indeed still breathing.

“Or maybe it’s best to not think of me at all. I wouldn’t blame you.” He murmurs as he grabs her hand once more.

“I don’t know why I didn’t come to you. I wanted to. So badly. So very, very badly. It’s been driving me mad. Not being able to talk to you. There’s so much I want to tell you.”

But now, those words may forever remain unspoken. He shudders at the thought.

“It’s not to say I wasn’t upset with you.” He confesses. “I was. Even now, I’m angry at you for throwing yourself into harm’s way - yet again. You’re so incredibly, unbelievably careless. And look at where it’s gotten you!”

He lets out a sharp breath, ripping his hands away while he falls back into his chair.

“You must be laughing right now at how-,” he gasps, “At how much pain I’m in. I’m in absolute agony right now, and you don’t even realize. Because you care about everyone so much - but never yourself! Why is that? Why don’t you love yourself to the same degree that everyone else loves you? Like I love you.”

He falls into his hands and his fingers dig into his hair, practically ripping it from his scalp.

“I love you so much. It pains me. I thought this was supposed to be a sweet, wonderful thing - yet here I am. In misery.”

He strains his ears again, and he catches a slight exhale.

“Say something, will you? Anything. Please. Just say something. End my torment.” He whimpers.

Another near silent breath is his only response.

He sits back up and slowly, carefully, reaches out for her. He tangles his fingers in her hair - far more gently than he had for himself - and he has her hand in a vice-like grip. He strokes her scalp while he listens for any slight changes in her breathing. But, it’s steady. Like she’s in a deep sleep and he’s merely trying to disturb her rest.

“I know. I know.” He sighs.

“I know you don’t like it when I’m upset. Especially over your… adventures. I just wish it was someone else in your place. Selfish, I know. But I never claimed I wasn’t. I wish you weren’t the way you are. So wanting to do good and to help those that have no merit for it.”

He smiles softly, “But, that’s also why I love you so fiercely - that bleeding, kind heart of yours. Which, so foolishly, believes me worthy. Worthy enough to protect me. To care and love me.”

He shakes his head to dispel the tears threatening to fall, “You are such a fool.”

He squeezes her hand, his heart twisting when he doesn’t feel her squeeze right back, then he shifts to be closer to her. He presses a kiss on her forehead then rests his head against her temple. His nose brushes against her cheek and he sighs, taking in her sweet, calming scent.

“It’s alright. For I’m a fool, too. We can be fools together. You and I.” He laughs, “It sounds wonderful, actually. We can live a foolish life. Doing foolish things. And, it’d be perfect. Because, you’d be there with me. And I, with you.”

He closes his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose and letting it pass through his lips in a near whine.

“I hope that’s what you’re lost in right now. Us. Doing foolish things. Together. You and I.”

He whispers with a tear trailing down his cheek, “You and I.”

==============

By the time Sebastian returns, it’s the early hours of the morning. He goes towards the candle light emitting from her bedside. It’s not nearly enough to keep the shadows at bay and the dark silhouettes of his two friends sends a chill down his spine. Ominis is in a chair holding her hand and stroking her hair. He’s never seen Ominis so disheveled. His hair is pulled out of his neat, slicked-back style and his starched clothes are rumpled and wrinkled - his school robe lays over her as a poor excuse of a blanket.

Sebastian doubts he fairs much better - feeling the sting in his eyes from straining them and refusing to let the exhaustion manifest to slow him down. Sebastian can hear the soft whispers Ominis speaks to her the closer he gets, but he can’t make out what’s being said. Sebastian hovers by the foot of her bed, unable to break Ominis from his hushed pleadings. He’s like a stranger intruding on something intimate - something not meant for him to hear.

“She’ll be transferred to St. Mungos at first light.” Ominis states, his head not even turning towards Sebastian. Sebastian closes his eyes with a deep breath - his throat impossibly constricted.

He moves towards Ominis to rest a hand on his shoulder.

“We can save her.” He says with not an ounce of wavering in his voice.

Ominis whips his head towards him with wide, glassy eyes, “How?”

“We can’t do it here. We need to take her to the Undercroft.”

Ominis nods, “Very well. How do you suggest we sneak her out?”

Sebastian is grateful Ominis isn’t fighting him on this - and he’s quick to cast the Hover Charm on her once again.

“Quickly. Before anyone sees.” Sebastian takes the lead, with Ominis trailing behind.

They arrive at the Undercroft and place her down in the middle of the circle Sebastian has prepared. Ominis smells the distinct stench of incense in the air and he frowns.

“What is it we’re going to do?”

Sebastian guides Ominis to kneel right by her head.

“It’s you. It has to be you, Ominis. You’re the only one who can save her.” Sebastian states.

“Me? H-How?” Ominis reaches out in front of him until his fingers nestle in her hair.

Sebastian takes his place next to Ominis, “You have to reach into her mind, find where she is, and then guide her out of the charm.”

Ominis shakes his head, “No. No, I can’t.”

“You’re the only one who can.”

Ominis wants to object, but Sebastian places a strong hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way, Ominis.” Sebastian says. “You can do this. I know you can. She does too.”

Ominis lets out a sharp exhale and he moves her head to rest on his thighs. He traces along her cheeks and jawline before he gives a short nod.

“I’ll try.” He whispers.

Sebastian grins for a moment, “I’ve drawn a grounding circle around us to protect you from getting lost in there as well.”

“A grounding circle?” Ominis grimaces. “Sebastian, this doesn’t sound-,”

“Yes! Alright, yes.” Sebastian snaps. “This is experimental magic we’re doing - and it might not even work - but it’s all we got.”

Ominis takes a deep breath as he closes his eyes, “Is there anything else I need to do?”

“Just find her.”

Ominis swallows down the apprehension, the fear, and the doubts. She needs him. And he won’t abandon her now. He takes another deep breath then searches for her eyes until he feels something tugging on him.

He’s not greeted with the normal familiarity of her emotions. Instead, it’s an empty, stillness. It would be enough to send him reeling away, but he refuses to leave. Not without her. The more he feels around in the empty confines, he begins to notice there’s slight tears within this place. He reaches out and rips the veil apart.

A slew of memories rush over him. He’s tossed around from one to the next and just when he’s beginning to understand what he’s seeing, he’s jerked to the next one - all fresh memories from the past few days. He has to watch as she tries to go to him, only for him to turn away from her - again and again and again. Each one hurts more and more, but he refuses to pull away.

He keeps going even though his head feels like it’s being split into tiny pieces.

He catches voices - Sebastian and her speaking. Then the voices of the men who attacked them. She didn’t even hesitate to move in front of him - all to protect him. How she still loves him, even though he said such horrible things to her not but mere moments ago is not something he quite understands. How could she be so…

Love.

It speaks to him and the torrent he’s in slowly dies down as he focuses hard on the warm feeling. More images shift past him until finally it stays on just one, singular memory.

The sun peers through the autumn leaves. Golds, reds, oranges, and browns are all in front of him. He blinks several times, nearly retreating from the overwhelming sight. It’s almost too much. All these colors swirl around him and it takes his breath away. He reaches out to grab the leaves as they flutter past, but they pass right through him as if he were no more than an apparition. He’s lost in absorbing the sights around him - walking along a stone path as he takes it all in. The chilled air and distant bird song brings him solace and the memory wraps around him like a warm blanket on a cold, winter’s night. Whatever this memory is, it’s important and it's like he’s been here numerous times before with how at home he feels.

He hears her soft laughter and he’s harshly reminded as to why he’s here. He sprints right towards it - going around bends and following the path until he finds two people walking next to each other.

A boy with slicked-backed brownish-blonde hair wearing a black and emerald school robe and a girl in a similar black robe as the boy. The boy’s sightless gaze is in front of him - his head craned towards the girl next to him- and his wand emits a pulsing red glow. Ominis can’t believe he sees himself. More importantly, he can’t believe he sees her.

The sun casts a soft glow upon her smiling face and her shining hair. She keeps looking over at the boy - over at him - and every time, a warm smile tugs on her lips. He’s amazed at being able to see this smile reach all the way to her eyes - making them sparkle and shimmer. It’s enough to send his heart hammering in his chest as he watches them. He finds himself enamored with every little detail about her. Even the way she walks and moves her hands as she talks is captivating.

He knows this day.

They’re walking back from Hogsmeade. Long before they ever admitted to one another their feelings. Although he knew she looked at him often, he never imagined it was with such adoration. And the way her smile entangles in every word, it’s a wonder he didn’t piece it together sooner. He’s like a bystander as he watches them - they’re moving, yet they’re going nowhere and if he doesn’t keep his concentration on where he is, he finds himself looking through her eyes instead. A very disorienting sensation.

He sees himself talking, but the words are distorted and cut in and out. He notices the woods around them are starting to get blurry and it’s all beginning to fade away.

He concentrates until the memory comes back into focus with sharper clarity. They continue walking down the path and he goes to follow. He calls out her name, but nothing comes out of his mouth. He tries once more, yet again, nothing - not even a whisper. They’re walking away from him now and he’s running in place.

‘No. Come back! Don’t leave!’ He screams, but no sound comes out. He’s slipping and losing his grasp of this memory.

He won’t let her go. He digs within himself to compel the words to be uttered with every ounce of strength he has.

Her name reverberates in a great shout and she stops walking. She turns to face him, the real him, and her eyes widen.

“Ominis?” She whispers.

He laughs in both relief and disbelief. He runs towards her - his hand outstretched, “Yes. Please. Don’t go. Come with me.”

She cranes her head and takes a step towards him with a slight smile until a voice cuts through:

“I want nothing to do with you!”

“Leave me alone!”

“Get your hand off of me!”

The memory begins to distort as she grimaces - backing away from him. The words keep repeating in a horrible mantra. It’s deafening and it makes him sick to hear his own vile words again and again.

“You’re not real.” She says, blinking back tears. “None of this is real.”

“Wait!” Ominis calls to her, but she’s already running away.

No, no, no, she’s slipping from his grasp - then she may very well be forever lost. Something ignites within him - a sudden surge of control and power unlike anything he’s felt before and - with great effort - he forces everything to cease. The echoes of his words silence and the world around them fades until it’s just them in a dark, empty space. She turns towards him while he all but rushes to her.

“Don’t go.” He cries. “Please. Come back.”

She shakes her head while she steps away from him, “No. No, I don’t want to go back.”

“No, wait! Don’t leave me. I-I need you.” He pleads.

He wants to go to her, but his feet refuse to lift. Some force is keeping him at bay.

“I hurt you, Ominis. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I ruined everything.” She cries. “At least here, I can pretend. I can go back to how it was.” Her lip quivers and it breaks his heart to see her so upset.

“You haven’t ruined anything, my love.” He whispers with a pleading expression. “It’s I who’s done that. I never should’ve pushed you away.”

He lowers his head, “I’ve been acting like that scared little boy that Marvolo would take toys from. The one Father would torment by ripping apart my mind. The son, a mother, so desperately wants to fix.”

He lets out a shuddering breath as he whispers, “It was easier to accept that you had ill-intent towards me than the truth.”

She shakes her head, “The truth?”

He finds it impossible to look at her awaiting face, but he does. He knows he has to.

“It frightened me to see into your mind. Because, I wanted more. I wanted to see more. I wanted to be just like Father, and tear into your memories to make them all mine.”

He gasps at the truth leaving his lips. He stares at her as she stares back at him. He wishes he could understand the expression written upon her face. But, he doesn’t. All he can do is wait for her to speak.

She steps closer to him, “You are not your father, Ominis. And I’m so deeply sorry I put you in a position which made you feel even remotely like that. I never should have pushed you into doing what I believed you should want.”

He shakes his head with a bitter laugh, “If you hadn’t been so adamant on me learning how to do this, I wouldn’t be here right now. And you would be lost to me. And,” he looks at her with a wide smile, “I wouldn’t be able to see you now. Nor that beautiful memory.”

She lets out a near cry and her sweet smile brings him unfathomable joy.

He steps towards her, “I’m not my father - I don’t have to use this ability the same way he does. I understand that now. This is, indeed, a gift. And I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize that.”

Her features morph into an earnest, pleading expression.

“This was never a means to fix you, Ominis. I don’t want to fix you.” She whispers. “I love who you are. And I’m so sorry if I made it seem otherwise.”

He smiles as he nods emphatically, “I know. And I was such a fool to believe otherwise. You didn’t deserve that.”

She beams with a slight laugh, “We’ve both been fools, haven’t we?”

“I’m afraid we have.” He laughs. “So, please,” he holds out his hand towards her, “come back with me, love. Come back.”

She glances between his outstretched hand and him. A warm smile comes over her.

She closes the space between them and embraces him. He lets out a gasp at how close he feels to her - far closer than he has before - as he embraces her just as fiercely back. He senses something tethering to him. It’s trying to bond with him. It’s a magic he’s never experienced before, but he knows it’s stemming from her. He lets it tangle around him and the dark place they’re in begins to shatter.

Ominis gasps, reeling from the experience, and he has to gather himself. He blinks several times, a frown forming at his sight being normal once more.

“Ominis! Are you alright? Did it work?” Sebastian grips Ominis’ arm while Sebastian’s gaze is firmly locked on her. Ominis’ hands feel over her unmoving face and his frown deepens.

“I-I don’t know.”

She jolts up with an audible breath before she falls back into his lap. Sebastian laughs, shaking Ominis as she blinks up at both of them in confusion.

“O-Ominis?” She mumbles and her brows pinch together. “Oh, Ominis. You look like you’ve been romped by a herd of Puffskeins.”

Ominis chuckles, his relief palpable, “That would’ve been far more preferable. Oh, it’s so good to hear your voice.”

She stares at Ominis with wide eyes.

“So that was real.” She whispers with a wide smile as Ominis nods. He strokes her cheeks and she holds onto one of his wrists to ensure he stays right there.

She turns her head towards Sebastian, “If this was your grand idea to get us back together,” she laughs, “well, I suppose it could’ve been worse.”

Her eyes flutter shut with a groan, “Although, my head is certainly killing me.”

Sebastian - unable to retort with a witty response - holds her free hand with a chuckle. Ominis leans his head against Sebastian’s shoulder, in both relief and exhaustion, while she glances between the two tear-stricken, grinning boys with a grin.

“It’s so good to see you awake.” Sebastian smiles. “We were worried one of us was gonna have to slap you until you finally came to your senses.”

She giggles, “Thank goodness it was unnecessary.”

Ominis lets out a sharp laugh, “All thanks to you, Sebastian. None of this would’ve worked without you. Thank you.”

“Anytime.” Sebastian grins at both of his friends, alive and well, with unmasked relief. Ominis plays with her hair with a warm smile while she looks up at Ominis with such adoration, it’s enough to churn Sebastian’s stomach from their sweetness.

“So, let’s discuss my reward. I take many forms of gratitude.” Sebastian smirks. “Butterbeers. Doing my homework. Answers to next week’s test. I’m open to most ideas.”

Ominis chuckles, “I’ll get you a whole keg of Butterbeer for what you’ve done.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Sebastian says.

=================================

Ominis leans his head onto hers as they slowly stroll along the rickety, old, long bridge by the Clocktower Courtyard. She plays with his hand - intertwining their fingers together then releasing them to hold his hand, only to tangle them once again.

“When do you expect to return?” He wonders.

“By this evening. I’ll try not to take too long.” She squeezes his hand.

He hums, “I’ll be waiting for you.”

She smiles as they reach the end of the bridge and she turns to face him, “And I’ll be looking forward to seeing you.”

He’s still captivated by the sight of what his wand paints of her. Like waves crashing to shore or a crackling inferno, magic rolls over her body in a steady hum. It’s electric and fiery - unbridled energy which sparks and ignites across her. He wonders if the pulsing is in time with her heartbeats as it thrums to a gentle beat. It’s breathtaking and he’s the only one who can see her like this - and he’s forever grateful his wand has adjusted to this new connection between them.

He cups her cheek with a soft smile, “I hope you don’t run into too much trouble, love. I do rather like you unharmed, and intact.”

She laughs, “Don’t fret. I promise to return just as I left.”

He leans down and places a heated kiss on her awaiting lips, one which takes her breath away and leaves her wanting for more. It’s a brilliant supernova in her mind as he intertwines himself with her. She feels his lips on hers, but also her lips on his. For a brief moment, they are one. The sensation dies down as he parts, but his presence doesn’t fully leave her. She sees the strands of Ancient Magic tangled around him - glowing in a vibrant radiance as it stretches all the way to her. She wonders if he regrets it. This bond he’s been forced to share with her. He silences the thought before it can fully form with another deep kiss.

“Do be careful.” He whispers against her lips with a sweet smile.

“I will.” She steps away from him before he can lure her back into his embrace. She summons her broom - sparing him one final, loving glance - then she takes off.

He sucks in a sharp breath at her departure. If he concentrates, he can feel the wind in her hair and against her face. Whatever bond they had created in the confines of her mind, has not dimmed, but flourished. And as she flies further from him, he can find her like his guiding star. And he smiles - turning back to the castle to await her return.

--------------------------

AN: i like the idea of Ominis' mom being far different from his father and brother. Meaning, I want his mom to be a type of devouring mother where she manipulates you into believing she's only doing what's 'best' for you. idk, i can just see her being very sweet and doting in a twisted kind of way. like ripping out her son's eyeballs to 'help' him.

also, hope the magic bond and legilimency mind shit wasn't TOO weird. idk, i like the idea of magic bonds and Ominis' wand being able to detect her in his own special way. and ancient magic seems like a pure form of magic for this to be viable.

ALSO ALSO, is it Ominis' or Ominis's???? i might blow up my computer and then my local walmart on minecraft if it's the latter. I was told if a word ends in an s, then you don't add the 's. idk im not an english expert. im a dumb idiot writing mediocre fanfiction.

Any feedback is appreciated and wanted! I love hearing from y'all and thanks for reading <3

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sometipsygnostalgic · 3 months

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hypocritical because im a homestuck but i dont like simply extracting my favourite parts of media and leaving the rest behind.

shera fandom. i have things to say.

as a huge entrapta fan and an entrapdak fan i see a lot of other entrapdak fans try to extract the pairing from the show and label every other character as an asshole. you'll see a lot of "the princesses" or "the alliance" as this faceless whole of bullies. which drives me absolutely insane. because if you look at the show, "the alliance" is filled with a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE, each of which has a completely DIFFERENT relationship to Entrapta, and it's only Entrapta herself who ever sees them as this unified big group that she's tried to befriend. I think there's a failure here to understand how entrapta's perception of events isn't entirely accurate. Bow and Adora, for example, were always trying to get her on their side - even though she hurt them the most directly - and they let her do what she needed to do even when it resulted in untold chaos. i also think there's a failure to try to understand what ableism is present in shera and what is not, and where the writing errors lie and how they can be rectified. there's this idea of "it can NEVER be rectified and the characters CANNOT be friends", despite... yknow... the show demonstrating otherwise, and the reason this is especially egregious is I'm sure people ONLY write it that way so they can push entrapta even closer to hordak by alienating her from all her other relationships. to do otherwise would require acknowledging that hordak has done bad things to the other characters and he needs to WORK on himself if he wants to be around them.

as a huge catra fan there was a post on reddit yesterday where someone put a tier list where catra was at the bottom. there was a LOT of people saying it was terrible and the person didn't understand the show, and i feel that perception, but there was also someone saying that anyone has the RIGHT to find a character really annoying and mean, and that they see catra this way. I thought about this, and realised that SO MANY people who will diehard stan Catra and argue that the post was insane will ALSO rank GLIMMER as a bottom character, simply because they find her annoying and mean. it made me think, why is it okay for people to find glimmer annoying and hate her, but suddenly toxic and ableist (the words a certain user had) for people to find catra mean and annoying? why is one thing suddenly a problem when both characters are fundamentally the same? there is a lack of self reflection in how people regard some of the characters. you can't just take Catra out of shera, project yourself onto her, and forget about all the other characters, what she's done to them, what kind of people might connect with them. you can't decide that catra good and glimmer bad because you like catra more.

#she ra #spop #catra #glimmer #entrapta #mermista #perfuma #hordak #entrapdak

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