#yes i AM doing season 2 right now how did you know
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i can do it with a broken heart - f1 grid
parings: gn!driver!reader x platonic!f1!grid x ex!jacob elordi
summary: after yn and their ex break up, they carry on as best they can and no on had any idea how bad they were struggling
notes: george is in this but he does not drive for mercedes, yn does. i also used a mixture of fem and masc pictures because i couldnt decide and thought you could just imagine whatever you wish!!
notes 2: probably the longest fic ive done so far but im pretty proud of it. the time stamps above each section are semi important so i would keep an eye on them!! also i know ive been gone for so long but i do not promise ill be back. alsoooo i know i only included a bit of the grid but i kept getting distracted and then couldn’t figure out how to include everyone!!
masterlist
march 2024
twitter
charles oh my god i cant believe my cat is finally the pfp
i have been waiting for YEARS
max yes well you better enjoy it because it’ll change soon and you’ll be back to waiting again.
lando jesus max do you have to use punctuation???
alex be glad he doesnt use captials
oscar one thing at a time lando, we dont want to scare him
max ???
lando anyway
yn mate you ok?
yourname im fine? ur scaring me you never ask how i am
lando yeah but usually your not single
lewis oh no! you and jacob split?
yourname yeah, wasnt working anymore
charles ah im sorry, that must suck😣
yourname i mean it does but its been coming for a long time so its not surprising
fernando hello! yn what is wrong? you always use emotes!
yourname theyre emojis nando, and im fine just a bit lost
fernando do not worry, i will come and find you!
yourname no, i dont mean literally just..we were together for so long i dont really know what to do now you know?
lando i get it, you wanna play tarkov with me???
yourname cheers ill get on now
george let us know if you need anything!
may 2024
yourusername
liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and 814,583 others
p✌️ was just what we needed this weekend!
thank you to everyone who came out and supported myself and the team and huge thank you to the team for working so hard all weekend⭐️
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mercedesamgf1 mega job this weekend yn👊 *liked by author*
landonorris nice to share the podium with you mate
yourusername same time next race?
user33 loved seeing you back on the podium
user2 absolutely smashing it this season
user21 more podiums please🤲 *liked by author*
user3 fourth podium of the year first p✌️*liked by author*
twitter
*pretend it says after march i changed dates around last min*
august 2024
yourusername
liked by lukehemmings, charles_leclerc and 1,124,642 others
did some reading, painting and writing
baked some good food and spent time with some good people, also got a cat…not bad for summer break☀️
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user66 AHHHHHH
yourusername ahhhhhhh
user26 cats name plsplspls
yourusername norman🐱
lukehemmings nice music👍
yourusername woah arent you the guy who wrote mum?!
mercedesamgf1 ready to see you back on the podium
yourusername always!!!!
user74 have you had funnnn??
yourusername yesss!! ive been doing lots of things i enjoy, basically treating every day as my birthday😋
twitter
*was supposed to write them instead of her sorry!! was doing two stories at once and kept getting mixed up😅*
october 2024
yourusername
liked by mercedesamgf1, gracieabrams and 1,291,638 others
p☝️ for the 3rd time this season, very very pleased
huuuuuge thank you to the team, every single one of you who worked tirelessly over the summer break and every moment since then, these have been for you⭐️
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user55 what a good season to be a yn fan *liked by author*
user6 these races have been incredible to watch, so proud
yourusername ⭐️⭐️
gracieabrams woop woop!!!!
yourusername 😝😝
user2 gracie??
user41 why have we not had any personal photo dumps yet😕😕
user88 right we miss seeing you yn!!
yourusername sorry guys😣ive been suuuper busy working on something i just honestly forgot
user41 NEW PROJECT?? WHEN?? (also pls dont feel bad we love u)
yourusername soon!! (and i love u guys too)
twitter
november 2024
yourusername
liked by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 3,689,921 others
tagged: taylorswift
i cannot believe i get to say this, but my new friend taylor just released a new album and i was able to write a song on the album
im honestly not sure how this came about but i had so much fun writing this and expressing all my thoughts and feelings in a way ive never done before
i poured my life and soul into this song and im so glad taylor is the one who is singing it and really bought it to life
send some love to my friend and go and stream THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT (most importantly i can do it with a broken heart😉)
comments have been limited
taylorswift thank you for trusting me with this song, so much love🤍
yourusername NO THANK YOU!!! i will be forever grateful⭐️⭐️
twitter
yourusername added to their story
seen by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 729,282 others
charles i feel completely betrayed yn
fernando oh no😟! what did yn do?
charles THEY DIDNT TELL ME THEY WERE WRITING A SONG??
AND WITH TAYLOR SWIFT HOW COULD YOU☹️☹️
yourname sorry charles, surprise?!
charles ill forgive you because its a good song
yourname thank you my life just got infinitely better!
yuki very good song yn! has been on repeat☺️
yourname thanks yuki, glad you like it!!
lando I LOVE IT TOO
but seriously are you ok?!
yourname yeahhh im better now
was just a lot to navigate
lewis glad you found an outlet! but remember you can always talk to any of us
yourname i know and i appreciate it, i really do
alex yn was that twitter thread right?
yourname mate youre going to have to elaborate
alex user56tweetlink
yourname oh pretty much yeah
some things were changed with taylor but not much
fernando just listened to the song yn! very nice👍well done!
yourname thank uu
max good song yn!
now
lando can you please tell me what you meant on your twitch stream!
oscar max is kind of scary
max dont make me talk about that interview next oscar!
#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 smau#f1 social media au#social media au#formula 1 insta au#formula 1 social media au#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 drabble#f1 x male reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic
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Go for his brother part 2
Part 1 here
Part 3 here
username1 DOUBLE BETRAYAL 😭
↳username2 wdym bro wtf Arthur is just getting his karma, he CHEATED on Y/n with her best friend
↳username2 and Y/n only got with his brother after the breakup
username3 It's so crazy to me how not long ago Y/n was with Arthur at Charles' race and we could see them all lovey dovey and now she's with Charles 💀
username4 I hope they actually like each other and it's not just something Y/n schemed to get back at Arthur
↳username5 And even if it is, so what? Both Leclercs deserve this if she's doing it for the sake of revenge
username4 What did Charles ever do to you 😭 he's a literal pookie
username6 I am BEGGING to find out Arthur's reaction
username7 I wanna see this on Drive To Survive lmao
↳username8 The most interesting thing in the whole season lol
username9 Exactly! Men driving in circles? Nah, fuck that, give me family drama
yourusername The Art & The Artist
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charles_leclerc I took way more than these 2 pictures, should post them all
↳yourusername some would get me banned🤭
username1 MY OH MY
username2 What did she say 😐
username3 I'm jealous but haven't decided if I want him or her
username4 Arthur better not read this comment section (I hope he will)
francisca.cgomes Thanks for blessing my eyes 🫶
↳yourusername You're welcome bestie🫶
username4 it's so nice to see Y/n found a friend who won't steal her bf
username5 You can't be sure, it's Charles Leclerc we're talking about. You think he wouldn't go for his best friends' girlfriend who is now his own girlfriends' best friend after pulling what he's just pulled?
username4 ngl girl I got lost in whatever you're saying
yoursister In your iconic girl era ❤️
↳yourusername I slayed didn't I 💅
username6 Honestly guys I believe it's not just a revenge scheme
↳username5 What makes you think that?
username6 Given these pictures and the pictures from the gossip page they look pretty much happy to me, too happy for it to be fake
username5 Whatever you say, we'll see. They have to get tired of pretending one day
exbestfriend Glowing ✨🩷
↳yourusername 😐
↳francisca.cgomes 😐
↳yoursister 😐
↳charles_leclerc 😐
↳pierregasly 😐
↳georgerussell63 😐
↳carmenmmundt 😐
↳alex_albon 😐
↳lilymhe 😐
username7 Y/N AND HER COMMENT SECTION ARE ICONIC 😭
↳username8 I can't stop imagining them having a gc and she sent a screenshot of her ex best friend's comment like "you know what to do, guys" 🤣
username9 I just know Arthur is screaming crying throwing up because LOOK AT WHAT HE LOST
username10 Lol who's next? Toto Wolff?
arthur_leclerc My favorite love story is ours ❤️
view all comments
exbestfriend So happy we found each other ❤️❤️
username1 💀
username2 Alright they both have the audacity
username3 your love story is cheating on Y/n lmao
username4 Imagine they have a kid one day who'll ask mom dad how did you meet lol
↳username3 I'd be EMBARRASSED
username5 They deserve each other tbh
username6 Hey but... What if this pic and Y/n's pics were taken on the same day...
↳username7 wdym
username6 Arthur wanted to keep and eye on his ex and his brother from afar 😭
username7 it's terrible but possibly true lmao
exbestfriend I'm so sick of people judging us
↳username2 That's what you deserve, the both of you
↳username4 when actions have consequences:😮
yourusername Back at the paddock ❤️
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username1 At least she didn't downgrade right?
yoursister You guys look so good together
↳yourusername Thank you 🫶 ily
↳charles_leclerc Yes we do 😊
↳username2 Y/s/n never commented anything like this when Y/n used to post with Arthur😭
lilymhe It was nice catching up with you when the boys were playing
↳yourusername maybe next time you and Alex could come over so the boys can play some video games together
username3 Pls they're just two single mothers bonding over their toddlers being besties😭
username4 I NEED TO KNOW IF ARTHUR WAS THERE
↳username5 You crazy? Ofc he wouldn't have come, he's too scared of confrontation
username4 Okay but then what if one day Y/n and Charles get married? Will Arthur just skip his brother's wedding?
username5 I think some time will pass before Charles decides to settle down. And not with Y/n, that's for sure
username6 Why not? Y/n makes a much better couple with Charles than she did with Arthur
username5 Charles would never take her seriously lol she dated his brother, Charles is just having fun with her while letting her have her moment
arthur_leclerc Are you wearing the dress you wore on our first date?
↳username2 SHE'S WHAT?????
↳username3 wtf are u doing here
↳yourusername Maybe...
username4 Mother keeps slaying 😭👏
username7 I aspire to be like Y/n fr
alex_albon Lily said we should have a double date
↳yourusername Let's do it then @/lilymhe @/charles_leclerc when and where
arthur_leclerc I just wonder when will you get bored of this
↳yourusername Bored of what exactly? Going to races? You know I've always enjoyed looking at cars go vroooom
arthur_leclerc You know what I mean
arthur_leclerc Of pretending to like Charles just to prove me some delusional point
yourusername You really think I'd waste my energy on that? It's a funny coincidence indeed, but I do like him actually
arthur_leclerc Mhm sure I give you maybe 6 months more, can't keep pretending forever
charles_leclerc A family gathering & the morning after
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username1 OH GREAT HEAVENS
pierregasly Now that's something none of us expected
↳username2 bro speaking facts
username3 They said fuck you Arthur you'll get a proof we're not pretending😭
username4 Well at least the family already knew her
↳username5 Pascale liked Y/n so much she said girl you have my blessing no matter which one u marry
username3 Guys do you think Arthur was there? You know, it's a family gathering, so he had to be there, right?
alex_albon Charles settling down wasn't on my bingo card this year
↳lilymhe Neither was it on mine but I love it
francisca.cgomes Girl you realize there's no going back now? 😂
↳yourusername I hope so😜🫶
arthur_leclerc I still can't believe how disrespectful you both are
↳charles_leclerc Look who's speaking of being disrespectful
↳yourusername stfu arthur maman literally had to kick you out of the party
username3 The way it used to be "Thurthur" and now it's "stfu arthur" 😶
username2 at least the "maman" is the same right
username5 I feel like Pascale likes Y/n more than she likes Arthur
username7 wtf guys PASCALE HAD TO KICK ARTHUR OUT OF THE PARTY 😭😭
↳username8 That's crazy, imagine how's the wedding gonna look like
carlossainz55 Getting engaged after a few weeks? Is she pregnant?😂
↳username9 Not funny
username10 Chill that's just millennial humour from back when pregnancy outside marriage was a disgrace
↳charles_leclerc We've known each other long enough to make this decision 🫢
carlossainz55 Valid point
arthur_leclerc But for majority of this time she was my girlfriend
charles_leclerc On which you cheated
arthur_leclerc @/yourusername did you use me just to get to Charles? Was it your plan from the beginning?
↳yourusername Sure because I have nothing else to do lmao
↳yourusername We've talked about it yesterday arthur, don't start again
arthur_leclerc I just still can't believe Charles would do something like that to me
yourusername And half a year ago I believed you wouldn't have ever cheated on me
charles_leclerc I said it yesterday and I'll say it again, Arthur I will always love you as a brother, but you messed up big time, you can't be mad at us
#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au#Charles leclerc smau#arthur leclerc x reader#Arthur leclerc smau#Charles leclerc social media au#Arthur leclerc social media au
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Grill the Grid
Guys, I'm sorry this is so short. I've had a bout of writers block but still wanted to get another chapter out. I will be going back to working on the regular chapters soon! But enjoy this take on Grill the Grid!
Like always - comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are appreciated! Much love :D
Key for this chapter:
regular text - just normal speaking
bold - words on the flip boards
italics - scene change
bold italics - the narrator lady
Episode One: Radio Show
A quick snapshot of each driver shows up before the opening title of “Grill the Grid” crosses the screen.
You quickly showed up and clapped your hands.
“Welcome ladies and gents to another season of Drive to Survive.” You showed a cheeky smile as you winked to the camera.
“Can you please state your name and what team you drive for?”
You sighed as you thought. “Christian is going to kill me if I can't remember all of it.” You looked back at the camera. “My name is Y/n L/n and I drive for the Honda RBPT Oracle Red Bull Racing Formula One Team.”
“That is correct.”
Your eyes widened as you started to laugh. “I didn’t think I’d get that.”
The lady behind the camera smiled. “Max didn’t get the entire thing.”
You stared at the camera like you were on the office before turning to someone off camera to the side. “Do I get a point for that?”
The video now cut to Max.
Max had his hands on his side, head down before he looked back up.
He had a nervous smile as he tried to think. “Yeah, I don’t know. Red Bull Racing?” He shrugged as multiple people around him laughed.
“It’s actual Honda RBPT Oracle Red Bull Racing.”
Max rolled his eyes. “How is anyone supposed to remember that?”
“Y/n did.”
“Of course.”
Words flashed on the screen signaling to viewers the actual start of the episode. Multiple familiar faces showed as they all stood next to a board with multiple flaps of paper.
Lando smugly looked at the title and then to the camera. “I got this in the bag.”
“How do you think you’ll do?”
Oscar was now on screen. “Uhhhhh.” He didn’t have time to answer.
“I think I’ll do ok. I’m not too familiar with other team’s radios, but I can try?” A red-clad Monegasque questioned himself.
The drivers all flipped the first page.
--He better get me more stroopwaffles after that. Asshole--
You flipped the first page and barely glanced at it before answering. “Lando.”
“Lando.” Max also flipped.
Oscar, Daniel, Charles, and Carlos at once, “Lando.”
Lando just stared into the camera. “Me?”
You smiled back at the camera. “This was at Zandvoort right? After Max kinda bumped him.”
“He pushed me off the track! Bumped is an understatement.” Lando now flipped the next page and leaned back to laugh. “Y/n.”
--Speed. I am Speed. One winner, 19 losers. I eat losers for breakfast--
Max, once again, barely glanced before answering, “Y/n.”
Lance looked around trying to get a hint. He couldn’t find one. “Logan? I know he’s watched the Cars movies.”
Logan laughed as well before shaking his head. “Y/n.”
“Me.” Your face flushed red. “Truthfully, I didn’t know the radio was on.”
Oscar made a noise as he thought. “I want to say Logan because he recently watched that. But my heart wants to say Y/n.”
“Is that your final answer.”
“Yes.”
“That’s correct.”
Fernando, Carlos, Daniel, and Alex flipped the page. “Y/n.”
--This is what she gets for telling me to use my mirrors. AHA! Does she even have her driver’s license?--
“Aha! This is Daniel.” You stood looking at the next page. “So in quali, he almost hit me in turn four during my flying lap and I told him to use his mirrors in the race. Well, he overtook me in the first lap and I fell behind.” Your smile disappeared as you looked right into the camera. “And yes, I have my driver’s license.”
Daniel almost fell to his knees as he read the next one. His gummy smile almost took over his face. “This is me to Y/n.”
Max just looked lost. “Who said this?”
“Daniel.”
“Oh.”
Episode Two: Champions Part 2
“So do you know what’s next?”
You looked confused as you looked around the empty space. “Well there’s no board here?”
Charles shrugged. “It could be anything. I certainly hope that this season we won’t have to list the champions in some order again.”
Max looked around with a confused look. “Again?”
Lewis rolled his eyes. “Man I knew I should have gone back and actually memorized them.”
“There’s no way someone is getting all of them. Sebastian is gone.” Lando shrugged.
It was now back to Charles who looked a bit more pale. A loud beep sounded on a views screen as he looked down.
You once again clapped. “I knew all those Wikipedia pages would come in handy. Are we starting from newest to oldest or oldest to newest.”
“Any way you want.”
You looked up in thought as you started to list. “Ok. Max was in 2023, 2022, 2021. Then Lewis in 2020, 2019, 1028, 2017. Nico won in 2016 then it was back to Lewis in ’15 and ’14. Seb won from 2013 to 2010…”
Max sighed before he started. “Uh, me in 2023 to 2021. Then Lewis until 2014.”
“Incorrect. Nico won in 2016.”
Max hummed. “Uh, Nico in ’16. Then Lewis to ’14. I know Seb won in 2013.”
It was back to you. “And then Michael Schumacher again in 2010, which was his first with Ferrari. Then it was Hakkinen in ’99 and ’98. Uh, Villeneuve in 1997 who was preceded by Hill in 1996. Then it was back to Schumi in ’95 and ’94.”
Lando looked lost.
Charles was still pale but he tried. “It was Max, Lewis, Nico, Lewis again. Then Seb then Lewis again?”
“You’re forgetting another Mercedes Driver.”
Charles looked even more confused. “Uh.”
“Jensen Button in 2009.”
“He was in Mercedes?” Charles just ended up walking off.
Back to you. “Mario Andretti was the last American in 1978. Niki and Hunt danced around from 1977 to 1976. Then it was Fittipaldi, Stewart, Fittpaldi, Stewart, Rindt, Stewart respectfully in 1975, 1974, 1973, 1972, 1971, and 1970.”
Oscar looked as if he was having a stroke.
Logan ran a hand down his face. “I only know Andretti in 1978 and then Phil Hill in 1961. You know. Go America!”
Fernando tried but couldn’t get past the nineties. Yet he had a smile on his face. “Y/n got all of these right, correct?”
“She was the only one.”
“Shut up, no she wasn’t.” Lando didn’t believe it.
“Of course she did.” Max could only chuckle. “She would brag and brag about this in the plane.”
“And then Ascari in 1952, then Fangio in 1951, and finally Farina in 1950!” You had a proud look on your face. “I knew I could do it. Did I miss any?”
“Nope.”
Episode Three: Guess These Headlights
Charles, who had now recovered from his bout of PTSD, suddenly looked excited. “Now here is something I can do.”
“Are you a car guy?”
“Definitely.” Carlos responded with a smug look. “I grew up around cars.”
“I mean. I know my McLarens?” Oscar questioned. “This is going to be hard.”
Lando looked ready. “Let’s get this going.”
You looked determined. “Bring it on.” You flipped the first page. “Ah. That’s a classic. A Ferrari F40.” You turned back to the camera. “If I didn’t have my Porsches, I would have bought an F40.” A far away thoughtful look crossed your face. “Maybe I’ll still get one. I’ll ask Charles. He can get me one.”
Charles quickly answered “F40” and then flipped. “Ah. This is McLaren P1.”
“McLaren P1,” Oscar answered. “The logo is in the headlights. Pretty helpful.”
Daniel flipped the next one and stood back, hands on his hips. “I know Max has this car. But I can’t remember the name.”
Lance finally looked as though he knew what it was. “This is the Aston Valkyrie.”
Fernando also guessed it correctly. “Aston Valkyrie.”
Next, Carlos easily got the next one. “La Ferrari. I wanted one.”
“Did you get one.”
Carlos nodded his head before answering. “No.”
Max flipped through the pages very quickly. “Ah! I know this one. Y/n has two of these. It’s the Porsche 9-11’s.”
“Y/n’s Porsche. The 9-11 model,” Alex responded.
“I see these in my garage since Y/n’s apartment didn’t come with one, so she puts her’s in mine. It’s the Porsche 9-11,” Logan had a happy smile as he knew one. The next one, he didn’t know.
“Not a clue.” Charles, Oscar, and Daniel all said as they flipped.
Max took a minute to look at the X looking headlights. He hummed. “Y/n was just showing me a TikTok with this car. Says she wants one someday.”
You had a giant grin on your face as you looked at the headlights.
“Do you know what this car is?”
You rolled your eyes. “Of course I know. It’s the 3 million dollar Ferrari V12 Engine Apollo Project Evo. There are currently 10 of them only in the world, and they are all owned.”
“Do you have one of them?”
You only smirked as you looked into the camera.
Max still stood next to his board, eyes to the sky as he really thought. His eyebrows raised as he remembered the answer. “This is like...the Apollo E car?”
“That is correct. Now, does Y/n own one of these? She didn’t give us an answer.”
Max looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Uh. No comment?”
Episode Four: Random Skills
“Ok. For this challenge you have to guess what driver has this skill.”
“Easy.” Came from Lando.
You looked around confused. “I don’t think I have any skills.”
“Do I even have a skill for them to use?” Lewis questioned himself.
“First skill. Which driver is known for playing the piano.”
“Sharl,” you smirked. “Easy.”
“Charles.” Lance, Fernando, and Daniel all answered.
“Me.” The Monegasque had a smile on his face.
Oscar looked up. “Is it Y/n? She looks like she can play the piano.”
“He said that? I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult.” You shrugged.
“Which drivers claims to be able to hit a hole in one at the Monte Carlo Golf Course.”
Max rolled his eyes. “I know Lando has claimed, but I’m going to say Carlos.”
Carlos looked lost. “Me? I don’t know if I’ve said that though. Maybe Lando?”
Logan answered, “Lando?”
Lando also looked lost. “Me?”
“No.”
“Who is it then?” You questioned. Lando and Carlos had been your guess.
“It is Pierre Gasly.”
Lando huffed. “Get out of here.”
The man in question had a guilty smile. “I forgot I said that. Let’s say it’s still true.”
You looked eager to get on with the game. You wanted to win that trophy.
“Which driver has set a drive time around the Daytona International Speedway at 1 minute and 40 seconds. Which is only 8 seconds slower than the lap record.”
“Oh, I didn’t know I would get on here for this category. It’s me right?”
“Correct, Logan.”
You took a little while to guess. “I’m gonna say Logan. Sounds like a very American thing to do at Daytona. And his brother drove for NASCAR right?”
“Correct.”
Your fist pumped the air.
Oscar looked elated at this question. “It’s Logan. I was there when he did it.” A big smile crossed his face.
Lance looked around in thought. “Uhhhhh. Lando? I don’t know.”
Lando also looked happy, as he seemed to know the answer. “It’s Logan right? Yeah, Logan. Final answer.”
“Are there any geography questions this season, or…” Max drew out the last syllable as he laughed with the others. He suddenly went cold stare. “I’m being serious.”
“Which driver knows how to moon walk?”
Fernando squinted his eyes as he thought before shrugging his shoulders. “It’s one of the young ones right? Yuki?”
Yuki was also as lost as Fernando. “I wish it was me. Maybe Lando? He DJ’s right?”
“It’s not Lando. But it is a younger driver.”
“I should know this after she made me play Just Dance for three hours one time. It’s Y/n.” Logan looked put off at his mention of the dance off.
Oscar also looked bored as he also brought it up. “Yeah, it’s Y/n. I threw Just Dance out after she left. No more.”
Max rubbed his face. “She plays it with P whenever she comes over. They play the same one over and over again. Y/n.”
Charles had a far off look, like one of an older man who suddenly was hit with PTSD from war. He whispered, “We don’t mention moonwalk. Not after her and Arthur…” He never finished as he walked off again.
You had a shit-eating grin on your face. “Me! And I tried to teach it to Oscar, Lando, Logan, Max, Charles, Arthur…” You just seemed to keep going and going. They finally had to stop you before you kept going on about the Just Dance discography.
Bloopers
You stood in front of the camera with one of the que things that snap. “And action! Do you even say that anymore? And I thought this was an actual set. I might have cried when I saw the green screen.”
Beep
The camera showed Max creeping in as you continued listing all of the champions in order. He looked over at the camera like was on the office. “Is she still going?”
Beep
Logan kept touching his hair and the makeup lady would slap his hands away to fix it. “NASCAR drivers don’t have to go through this. I bet they don’t have to list all the freaking Formula 1 champions in order.” He leaned in and made a gesture. “See. All they have to do is kiss a brick and they get one when they win.”
Beep
Oscar smiled as he looked around, honestly excited to get this over with. “I think I’m finally ready for redemption. This should be easy.”
The camera cut to him after ever he finished filming. “I take it back. That was not easy. You guys really need to find better questions.”
TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @aeh2 @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @cassie0sstuff @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts
#platonic grid x reader#max verstappen x reader#f1 x driver!reader#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#charles leclerc x reader#arthur leclerc x reader#formula 1 x you#carlos sainz x reader#lando norris x reader#oscar piastri x reader#logan sargeant x reader#alex albon x reader#george russell x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#fernando alonso x reader#daniel riccardo x reader#f1 x you#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one x you#formula 1 x y/n
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Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside
Before we get into the subject matter of the title let me preface a couple of things:
1- All that will follow is, big surprise, my opinion and my interpretation of this character. Do I think I am The One And Only Who Gets The Blorbo Right and that my ideas are 100% the way the author(s) intended to convey the character? No.
More likely than not the way I see Aziraphale could be intensely different from the way Authorman sees him, or Actorman sees him, and I don't think that my interpretation is necessarily any more correct than anybody's else.
That said, if I also did not think that I am, in fact, correct on a certain level, I wouldn't have bothered forming such a thought out opinion of Aziraphale in the first place, nor would be sitting here, writing this post that I can already tell is going to be entirely too long and might probably ruffle some feathers.
So I'll be writing the rest of this post with the caveat that I while I do think my interpretation correct, I'm also not trying to change anybody's mind nor to discredit anybody's else interpretation of Aziraphale. We can sit here in the sandpit and hold different opinions and still be able to build sandcastles together, it really isn't that deep at the end of the day; I can assure you, I'm not here to fight nor cause fights with this one.
2- With the above point, comes also the fact that I won't bother continuously saying "In my opinion" for the rest of this post. You already know that. So, if something will come across as a bit caustic, do know that it is very much tongue in cheek and I am poking a bit of fun at general fannish habits that I am also very much quote-unquoute 'guilty' of having partaken into, and will partake into again plenty of times in the future, I'm sure.
So, with that: Here's Why I Think The Fandom Has Been Doing Aziraphale Dirty Ever Since Season 1 And It's Only Gotten Worse With Season 2 And It's Killing Me Inside
A large part of the people comprising this fandom prefers Crowley. There, I said it.
This fandom's preference blatantly skews toward Crowley. Can we admit that openly? Let's admit that openly.
To be clear, this isn't meant to be an accusation or recrimination or any other -ation you can think of, I am merely stating matter-of-factly a phenomena I've observed in the last four years.
It is also not a wrong nor bad thing in any way, shape or form. I adore Crowley myself. I love them both so much it's unreal.
But I started with that because I think it is very much a symptom of the fact that a lot of people don't get Aziraphale.
I remember back with S1 there had been plenty of times when I found myself reading discussions and opinion exchanges about Aziraphale and Crowley, their dynamics, all the things that went unsaid behind the things that were said, and found myself genuinely surprised by seeing how some people interpreted certain moments wildly different from how I personally saw them.
I look back at that and I think "Oh, sweet summer child". Nothing could have prepared me from the onslaught of takes about Aziraphale that make me go "Good lord, what???" in the wake of S2, and the infamous Last Fifteen.
Now because I don't want to be pointing fingers at specific things and risk upsetting somebody more than I already am by being open in admitting that, guys, yes, some of the takes y'all have been sharing make me go "Yikes(tm)", I'll move on the interesting part and what I would actually love to discuss, aka cracking Aziraphale's head open and see what that actual fuck is going on in there.
Another preface: Because this duo is intrinsically linked and woven together it is downright impossible to only focus on Aziraphale without also mentioning Crowley, so... Let me circle back to our fav demon bae for a sec, here.
I think the reason why it seems that a larger part of the fandom favors Crowley is because I feel like Crowley is a much easier character to grasp. He is very open in his thoughts and feelings, at any given moment us, the audience, have a much easier time watching a scene and sort of ruminating in the back of our heads about Crowley's motivations for saying the things he says and doing the things he does.
That isn't to say Crowley is a less complex character than Aziraphale. They are very much equally complex and multifaceted individuals with their strengths and weaknesses, their issues and the way they each cope with them, how differently they approach their existence and so on and so forth.
But whereas Crowley as a character presents itself with a certain dynamism and a far more outward openness about his complexity, Aziraphale does the exact opposite; we can say Aziraphale is downright hermetic about it.
For us, the audience, he presents a challenge that requires a good deal of thought being put into him to see over the facade he presents at a more superficial level; he requires time and effort to fully dismantle him in our minds to try and see what makes him thick (other than his thighs), and thus I think it is entirely natural that more people latch on the far easier to identify-with, and relate-to, Crowley.
And that is the inevitable consequence of everything that makes Aziraphale... Well, Aziraphale.
So, where to start? Let's try and jot down what Aziraphale truly is at his core.
He is a contradiction.
This man-shaped being is a walking contradiction, constantly existing in a state of being coated in three thousand layers of misdirection and obfuscation and double thinking.
Why is that? Well. He's an angel.
Aziraphale loves being an angel. It is a tenet of his entire existence and something he cherishes. He wants, so very much, to be his ideal of what a good angel is: An entity who is kind and loving and understanding and forgiving.
Of course us, the audience, know that is utter bullshit, because we know angels can be individuals just as complex as the humans Aziraphale loves so much, with all their inherent flaws and capability for cruelty. And, on a certain level, Aziraphale knows that too.
So there we have it, one element of contradiction: Aziraphale wants to think that angels are always Good and Righteous and Never Wrong; Aziraphale knows that angels aren't, in fact, always Good and Righteous and, by god, can they make plenty of mistakes, too.
What else? How about Aziraphale sitting there, being in love with a demon, fully knowing that at the end of the day demons really ain't that different from angels, and also desperately hanging onto the concept of Good vs Bad.
And he sits there, existing with these two contrasting idea equally taking space in his mind, neither side ever capable of taking over the other.
What else do we have? Aziraphale loves God and wants so hard to believe in Her love for humanity and Her ineffable plan, and Aziraphale also time and again does things that very blatantly go against Her will, lies to Her face, and Doubts. He Doubts, a lot, and that requires the capital letter because those Doubts are what spur him in going against everything he's ever told to believe in order to do the right thing.
Aziraphale's very existence is a constant push-and-pull of things he wants to believe and things he knows are real; things he's told to do and things he wants to do. That's how we get "My side" and "there's a bit of good in you" and "you are the bad guys".
And nothing he's lived through has managed to break him out of this unhealthy way of existing quite yet; that's why he acts the way we see him act in the Edinburgh flashback in S2, or at the start of S1 when Crowley has to ease Aziraphale into the idea of trying to stop Armageddon with the usual song and dance of "temptation" and "plausible deniability" and "you'd be thwarting me", even though from the start we can tell there's a little part of Aziraphale who is clearly not at ease with the idea of the end of the world, and once he's been given 'permission' by Crowley nudging him, he is all the way in with the whole saving the world business, not take-backsies.
Both the moments I mentioned here are very important for different reasons, but of the two is very much the Edinburgh flashback that gets a lot more flack by the fandom and is blatantly misunderstood, which I think is the inevitable consequence of that minisode immediately following the glorious, beautiful, heartbreaking piece of art that is the "A companion to owls" minisode.
I've seen a lot of people lamenting that Aziraphale acts obnoxiously in the Edinburgh flashback and, yeah. He does. But I feel like the fact that we are seeing this after watching Aziraphale struggle his way through saving Job's children, even being willing to go to Hell for it, is a though act to follow and probably soured Edinburgh-Aziraphale for a lot of people, made them think that the character had regressed instead of progressing.
But, see, the way he acts is wholly congruous with who Aziraphale is and has always been and keeps being up to the very end of S2. Yes, even after what he does for Job's children.
If you get down to it, Aziraphale had been ready to give up and let the children die, in episode 2. For a brief moment, after Crowley told him he 'longed to destroy the blameless children', Aziraphale was walking away, having tried all he thought he could try to do to stop this senseless act. That was until Crowley tested him by making the crows bleat, cuing Aziraphale to the fact that his impression of Crowley wasn't wrong, and the he could count on him to do the right thing.
To be clear, I don't want to undermine Aziraphale's action by only giving the credit to Crowley but... It is, also, only thanks to Crowley cajoling him and giving him the right excuses, that Aziraphale feels safe in doing what he's always wanted to do all along.
He'd wanted to save Job's children, and thought he couldn't until Crowley threw him that hell of a lifesaver. He wanted to save the world and thought he couldn't until Crowley nudged him on the path of plausible deniability.
He wanted to save Elspeth's eternal soul, blinding himself to the hardships she'd have to endure in her not-eternal life, and was smacked right in the face by the reality of human suffering multiple times.
The way Aziraphale acts in that flashback can't be a regression, because there never was a progression in the first place: He'd always walked the line between Heaven's and God's will and his own, personal morality and sense of justice.
By all means, if we look at Uz-Aziraphale and modern-day-Aziraphale at the start of S1, his reticence about the whole saving the world business should, by all means, appear as a regression as well. You mean to tell me that he'd been ready to become a demon for the sake of three mortal children, and then suddenly a handful of thousands years later when faced with the prospect of the whole world going up in flames he'd just be all like "Heaven will triumph over Hell and it will be all rather lovely"? Like, fuck off, Aziraphale, you lying double-thinker, you (/pos)
Aziraphale constantly exist while being at war with himself. Circumstances have allowed him to rebel the will of Heaven and God more or less safely time and again, but he never quite managed to break free entirely. He'd always ended up being reeled back in, being fed the party lines, being made to feel shame for his independent thinking, until it all becomes too much and he is forced to step back from that freedom he'd been inches away from grasping.
Back and forth, back and forth, never stopping.
And all of this, all of what he is, makes it so hard for us, the audience, to truly see him. To truly grasp him. To truly watch any given scene with him and figure out what he might be thinking or feeling.
To understand Aziraphale is to understand what he is not saying when he says something, which is a good deal harder to do than it is to understand and relate to a character like Crowley, who very much revel in saying exactly whatever the heck he thinks whenever he damn well pleases.
All those layers of obfuscation and misdirection and double thinking that Aziraphale coats himself in are as much an armor that makes it harder for the audience to understand him as they are his very own downfall because, good lord, if you exist like that, if you exist forced to keep things hidden from yourself, well... It's inevitable that at some point you are going to stumble into pitfalls of your own making.
And I love him for it.
So, there? I hope I managed to explain something with this post, and that it wasn't just the rambling of someone who spends way too much time thinking about her blorbos. To be clear, I don't think people who haven't spent as much time as me trying to dissect and better understand Aziraphale's character are like, dumber than me or anything. It's just that this pair of angelic-demonic blorbos take too much real estate in my mind, lol.
Feel free to let me know your opinion and if you think I am wildly off mark and my Take Is Bad. I might answer, I might not, it all depends on time and my mood ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜
#good omens#good omens 2#meta#aziraphale#I love one(1) hypocritical angel#flaws and all#I want to create an Aziraphale protection squad sometimes
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Channelled Messages 💌
Channelling messages from your: Future Spouse, Closest Friends, Spirit Guides, and Future Self
Note: Please DM me if you want a reading I am going to be putting a discount on all my readings because I am in a rough spot financially and need to pay money for my room which I was not aware of earlier and could be kicked out if I don't at the earliest.
Book a reading || Tip me! (Ko-fi)
♡ Future Spouse
♡ Closest Friends
♡ Spirit Guides
♡ Future Self
Future Spouse
💌 Pile 1
My Love,
I imagine us walking hand in hand through the seasons of life, supporting each other through every victory and challenge. Together, we will create a collage of memories, painting the canvas of our shared life with love, laughter, and endless adventures.
I promise to be your biggest cheerleader, your confidant in times of doubt, and your unwavering support through thick and thin. I vow to cherish and respect you for the unique individual that you are, appreciating both your strengths and your vulnerabilities.
You are scarred right now but theres no reason to be. You are so filled with love and light and everything good, just because someone else cannot see it does not mean it doesnt exist. If I could bring you the moon and the stars I would in an instant. I don't think there has ever been or will ever be someone who is as bright as you.
Please take care of your health, you cannot make excuses for bad habits and keep living life like that, no matter how stressful work or life is please make time for yourself. We still have a while to meet so take care of yourself for both you and I.
Song: It's a Shame - The Spinners
💌 Pile 2
Hey Darling,
Our connection, I believe, will be deeper than words can express. It will be built on trust, respect, and a genuine desire to see each other flourish. While I can't predict the future, I am steadfast in my commitment to cherishing every moment we have together.
We have met before, I don't think you remember me, but I do. your beauty had me stunned and so did your mannerisms. I admire the way you carry yourself, with so much dignity and poise, as if the personification of grace itself were standing in front of me, sweeping me off of my feet.
I will shower you with anything you want, praise, adoration, gifts, love, time, energy, and be there whenever you need. Life is probably fun for you right now, unfortunately for me the road is a little rocky. Enjoy this time with your friends and family, your loved ones truly care about you and want what's best for you even if they can't articulate it well.
Stay strong butterflly and look for me in your dreams, I promise to be a frequent visitor. hope you likfe sunflowers, lillies, and magnolias angel.
Song: Mango bananas - Flyana Boss
💌 Pile 3
Hi sweetheart!!
I have a feeling that when we finally meet, there's going to be a bell that rings making us instantly know like it did in Your Name, also hope you like animation because I love it, I also really like drawing and art, do you? Please say yes!
Life seems to be going too fast for you right now so you need to make sure that you don't lose yourself in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Calm down and do things you enjoy, maybe you'll like pottery!
But beyond the laughter and silliness, I want you to know that I'm dead serious about creating a remarkable life together. We'll support each other's dreams, even if they involve opening a cat cafe or becoming professional trampoline testers (hey, it's a thing, right?). We'll navigate the ups and downs of life hand in hand, and I promise to be your rock when you need it most.
Song: Glue Song - beabadoobee
xoxo
Closest Friends
💌 Pile 1
Life has been quite the rollercoaster lately, filled with its usual ups and downs. I've had my fair share of challenges, but there have also been some incredible moments that I wish I could have shared with you in person.
I often find myself reminiscing about the good old days when we used to spend hours talking and laughing about anything and everything . Those memories are some of my most cherished, and I truly miss you.
Please know that no matter where life takes us or how much time passes, you will always hold a special place in my heart. Your friendship has been a source of strength, laughter, and endless support, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.
Let's make a promise to catch up soon, whether it's over a cup of coffee or a long, heartfelt phone call. I genuinely look forward to hearing how you've been and sharing all the stories we've missed out on.
With love,
Initials may include: R, P, W, Q, L
Song: Window - Still Woozy
💌 Pile 2
Leaving behind the place we've called home for so long is both exciting and bittersweet. While new opportunities wait and adventures call, it's hard not to feel a tinge of sadness at the thought of being farther away from you.
Although physical distance may separate us, please know that you will always hold a special place in my life. Our bond is not defined by geography but by the strong connection we share.
And the internet exists so we'll be fine right? You promise to not lose touch with me even when we're both busy? I promise I will remember to call you, if not daily then weekly, please don't forget me.
I wish you could join me and we could embark on this together but life has its ways of separating the best people we've met so that we are forced to widen our horizons and social circles lol, hope it's not too much for either you or me.
Will miss you,
Initials pulled: A, J, M, S, K
Song: Missin something - Zach Templar
💌 Pile 3
I love the days we've shared and I wish to share so many more with you in the future, god I am so so so excited for everything thats to come!
Do you remember that time we decided to go on that impromptu road trip? No plans, no GPS, just a car full of snacks, good music, and an unshakable belief that we'd find our way eventually. We got lost more times than I can count, but it was so much fun and truly unforgettable.
And how about those late-night conversations that somehow turned into early-morning confessions? We've solved the world's problems over a cup of lukewarm coffee more times than I can recall. The neighbors must have wondered if we were running a 24-hour café.
As I sit here reminiscing about these and countless other memories, I can't help but smile. Our friendship has been a rollercoaster of laughter, silliness, and genuine connection. And I wouldn't trade a single moment of it for anything in the world.
Sending you a virtual high-five and a whole lot of fond memories, here's to hundreds more, and don't forget about the promise we made about the weddings okay?
Your platonic soulmate,
Initials may include: G, H, B, L, T
Song: Right Here, For Now - Bakar
xoxo
Spirit Guides
💌 Pile 1
Embrace change with an open heart and a curious mind. Life is a series of shifts and transitions, and it's in these moments of change that growth and self-discovery thrive. Trust in your ability to adapt and evolve, for you possess the resilience needed to navigate uncharted waters.
As you progress in your career, always remember that your passion and purpose are the compass that should guide you. Pursue work that aligns with your values and fulfills your soul. Don't be afraid to explore different paths and take calculated risks. Each experience contributes to your growth and wisdom.
Learning is a lifelong journey, and each lesson learned is a stepping stone to your personal and professional development. Stay committed to your goals, and never underestimate the power of continued learning.
There may be moments of doubt or uncertainty along the way, but listen to your heart's desires and the quiet whispers of your soul, for they will guide you toward your true purpose.
Above all, be patient and compassionate with yourself. Success is not defined by a straight path but by the lessons learned along the way. Embrace each setback as an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser.
Song: Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift
💌 Pile 2
In matters of the heart, we see the longing in your soul for a deep and meaningful connection. First and foremost, we urge you to be patient with yourself. Love is a delicate dance, and it often takes time to find the right partner who truly understands and appreciates you.
As you seek love, remember the importance of self-love. Nurture your own well-being, both physically and emotionally. Don't be insecure about your quirks and imperfections, for they are the qualities that make you beautifully you. When you love yourself wholeheartedly, you become a magnet for the love you desire.
When it comes to romantic relationships, let go of preconceived notions and allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised. Love can appear in unexpected places and forms. Stay open to meeting new people and exploring connections that may not fit your usual "type." Sometimes, the greatest love stories are the ones that defy expectations.
Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Be brave in expressing your feelings, needs, and desires. Equally important, listen to your partner with an open heart. True intimacy is born from understanding and genuine connection.
Whoever, you're thinking of, is not the one, set the standards high and do not settle for something that does not align with what you can give as well.
Song: Scared - Jeremy Zucker
💌 Pile 3
Know that you are never alone. We are always by your side, watching over you, and guiding you in subtle ways. We see your potential and your inner light, and we are here to help you recognize and nurture these gifts.
Trust in your intuition, for it is the voice of your soul and the channel through which we communicate with you. In times of uncertainty, turn inward and listen to the whispers of your heart, for they will lead you toward your true path.
Embrace the lessons that life presents, for they are opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Challenges are not obstacles but stepping stones on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself.
Surround yourself with positive influences and kindred spirits who uplift and support your journey. Let go of relationships that drain your energy and hinder your growth. Create a circle of love and support that nurtures your soul.
Find joy in the simple pleasures of life. Take time to savor a cup of tea, watch a sunrise, or feel the grass beneath your feet. These moments of presence are where true happiness resides.
Song: July - Noah Cyrus
xoxo
Future Self
💌 Pile 1
Darling, I cannot even start to tell you how good life is right now for me, and eventually for you. I know you are currently going through a rough patch, and as cliche as this sounds, I want you to know that every storm you're weathering now is bringing you closer to the sunshine that awaits you.
In my time, I've seen how the challenges you're facing today have shaped you into the resilient, compassionate, and wise person I've become. The setbacks you're experiencing are not roadblocks; they are stepping stones leading you to the life you've always dreamed of.
You may feel lost, uncertain, and at times overwhelmed, but trust me, these moments are your greatest teachers. They are guiding you towards a deeper understanding of yourself, your purpose, and the incredible strength that lies within you.
One day, you will look back on this period of your life and realize that it was a transformative journey, a cocoon in which you underwent a profound metamorphosis. You'll emerge from it stronger, wiser, and more in tune with your inner self.
The relationships you're nurturing now, the lessons you're learning, and the self-care you're embracing will all become pillars of the beautiful life that awaits you. You'll find yourself surrounded by a supportive and loving community that cherishes you for exactly who you are.
Song: See you Again - Tyler, The Creator
💌 Pile 2
I am sorry, but things are not going the way you would have hoped they would. However, rejection is just redirection, okay? Although things are looking rough for me right now, which, for you, is in the future, I want you to know that this tough phase will lead you to a place of strength and growth.
Life can be incredibly challenging at times, and I wish I could spare you from some of the hardships I'm currently facing. But remember, every setback, every disappointment, is an opportunity for growth and learning. It's through these tough moments that we discover our resilience and develop the wisdom to make better choices in the future.
I want you to hold onto hope, even when it feels like all hope is lost. Believe in yourself and your ability to overcome adversity. Surround yourself with supportive friends and loved ones who will help you weather the storm.
Stay patient and kind to yourself. It's easy to be critical during challenging times, but self-compassion is crucial. Treat yourself with the same love and understanding that you offer to others.
I am working on something thats a dream of ours right now, and I am seeing signs that it may end up succeeding soon or at least kick off, and I still love designing and art as much as you do right now, although I barely have time for myself right now.
Song: Not in that way - Sam Smith
💌 Pile 3
Okay, so maybeee we should reel it in a little with how much you are overworking yourself because it is having a bad effect on me, aka future you. Yep, I'm here to tell you that all those late nights, skipped meals, and stress-induced hair-pulling moments are not doing us any favors down the line.
I get it, you're hustling, chasing dreams, and making things happen in the here and now, and that's commendable. But trust me, I've been there, done that, and I can assure you that I'd appreciate a little less burnout and a lot more balance in our past.
You see, life isn't just about reaching goals; it's about enjoying the journey too. So, let's make a pact to take breaks, breathe deeply, and relish the simple pleasures. Remember, it's not all about the destination; the detours and pit stops are just as important.
And don't worry, I'm not trying to cramp your style here; I just want us to have the best possible adventures together, full of energy, laughter, and great stories. So, let's find that sweet spot where hard work meets self-care, and where the future "us" can look back and be happy about the past "you" for making wise choices.
Also please stop pulling all nighters its not doing any wonders for our skin, and even an extensive 10 step skincare routine does not do as much as a good nights sleep can.
Song: While we're yound - Jhene Aiko
xoxo
#pick a card reading#pac reading#pick a pile#tarot daily#tarot#intuition#pac#readings#intuitive readings#intuitive#tarot readings#tarot cards#tarotblr#tarot reading#divination#daily tarot#tarot spread#🩵 PAC 🩵
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My Little Flower | The Darkling x Fem!Reader
I wrote this just after finishing the season 2 of Shadow And Bone, it broke me so like it's a bit of a comfort fic I guess ? Just the way Aleksander was possessive of Alina made me feel things and I'm sorry about this... just a few heads up, I'm no Alina hater (I love her) I just needed to add a bit of tension in this, and also this is the first time I fully write smut AND that I post it on the internet. I'm very self conscious about smut because huh, I'm not the best writer in the world and english is not my first language. I still do hope you'll like it, I had fun writing it !!
Pairing : The Darkling x Fem!Reader
Warnings : very light spoilers, SMUT, jealous reader, kinda possessive!dark!aleksander ? established relationship, claiming, oral sex (f receiving) unprotected sex (protect urselves pls), p in v sex, dom/sub dynamics, creampie, 18+ only MINORS DNI!!!
Summary : Aleksander comes back from the dead, you feel your heart drop when you see him, darker than ever, the scars on his face making you feel weak. He's determined to get the sun summoner, and you're scared that he's drifting from you, but he will show you who you belong to.
Words : 3k
He came back. The one who held you with just one finger, the one who could get you on your knees just with one word. General Kirigan, your General. Hearing what happened in the Fold with the sun summoner and him, broke you. Hell, you didn't know if what happened between you two meant something to him, but you would do anything to make him feel at least something.
My little flower he called you, away from all curious glances. That was the nickname he gave to you, and you held it. You answered it, maybe he called you to have you by his side forever, only for his plans, maybe it was just all an act, but heck, you fell deeply. You fell so deep that nothing would ever make you betray him. You wanted to be with him until you'll be killed in the field, or even just died at his own hands. Whether it was love or a crazy obsession, seeing him alive made your heart much lighter than it was before. You clenched your fists, dangerously planting your nails in your own flesh to keep you from running to him.
His silhouette, his voice, his dark gaze, and his newfound scars, everything about him made your breath hitch. All you could think of right now while he was walking towards other grishas and you, were absolutely disgusting thoughts about how you would go under him to help him relieve himself. You unconsciously held your breath while he was walking towards you. He approached dangerously, all of your body was calling you to be at his service. You gasped for air when he spoke to you.
"My little flower." He whispered, really close to your face so no one could hear him talk. "I'm glad that my most precious Grisha is here."
You didn't manage to form a proper sentence, you were just stuttering words, and Aleksander saw how you were so emotional. You could only whisper the words: "You're alive.", before bursting into tears. He gently took you into his arms and shushed you.
"It's okay, little flower. I am back, and I'll need you more than anything for what we'll accomplish. Come and join me after dinner please ?" You could only nod while letting your tears drop freely.
~
"I need the Little Saint, you need to locate her, quickly, I want every information you have on her or anyone who's with her, you hear me ?" The tension in the room was heavy, all you could do with your fellow Grishas was to answer "Yes, General." You all waited for him to dismiss every one of you, and with a flick of his hands, he did. They left the room, as you stayed and waited for anything that he could ask you to do. Anything. You heard him shift into his armchair, and when you let yourself stare at him, your mind raced.
She was the one that caused all of this, seeing your General in this state made your heart clench. If only she listened to him, or you had been her, your General wouldn't be suffering like that. A deep cough startled you and your gaze got on Aleksander again, he was sick. You rushed towards him, obviously worried. You kneeled before him, putting a hand on his back and the other one on his knee.
"My General, are you unwell? What happened there ?" The shakiness of your voice betrayed you.
"Flower." He whispered. "I… It's my new power. The nichevo'ya, they're shadow creatures. They defend me when I'm in danger." He locked his eyes into yours, dark and full of fatigue. You felt him drifting off from you. An explosive wave of emotions passed through you when he looked at you. Was it worry? Hatred for the Sun Summoner? Jealousy? Or just everything that you felt for the General was crashing down deep into your being. You gulped, your mind going from one worry to another, then you asked him quietly.
"Is there anything I can do, my General ?" He lowered his head and waited a bit before answering. "I fear that I do not have a solution for my state right now, flower. I just need… The Sun Summoner, Alina…" He stopped himself, what for? You didn't know, but everything collapsed around you. He didn't need you, the nickname he gave you meant nothing. All you could do was make him feel a bit better about this. You'll bring him back Alina, you swore on your life that you'll do anything for him right? Then you'll do it, even though it will hurt more than you admitted.
You stood up, he looked at you, confusion and worry in his eyes. You tried to compose yourself and explained.
"I swore on my life that I'll do anything for you, General, if you want the Sun Summoner, I'll bring her back to you, even if I have to die trying to." You waited for an answer, an approval, anything, he stayed silent. You finally turned to leave the room, the sound of your steps resonating on the walls. You didn't want to leave, you wanted to stay, but hell seeing him like that hurt. You were about to open the door and leave when he stopped you with his voice.
"Flower. Please." You heard him stand up, and slow steps coming towards you. "You're the only one that can help me right now. Are you rejecting me? Your General ?" You felt tears building up again, you didn't know how you could tell him how you feel, having him obsessing over his Little Saint was so painful. But did you really have your right to speak up about it? You were just a Grisha, like any other Grisha here, you weren't her, yet you wanted to be her. You faced him back, letting your tears drop freely over your cheeks.
"How could I reject you when I'm not even yours, General? I know you need her, and I know I'll never be her, I've accepted it. Let me accomplish this for you, my General." You sounded hurt, exhausted, and deeply in love. He was dangerously approaching you by now, and for the first time in months, or hell maybe even years, he spoke your name. Not calling you Flower, like he loved to, just your name. He whispered it, and it felt so good on his lips. He cupped your face with his hand softly making you look at him, he seemed hurt.
"You don't understand. Yes, she is the Sun Summoner, and yes, I need her for every reason I already told you. But, what she is not, and will never be, is my precious little Flower. And you know who this is right? You, you belong to me, and I belong to you. I'll never deny that I wished you were the Sun Summoner, so we could accomplish everything together." Even with this, you couldn't believe him, your mind repeated to you that you meant nothing to him and that you weren't her. Even with his hand on your cheek, you couldn't let yourself breathe for him.
"Please, General, don't make me hope for something that I'm unworthy of." Something seemed to snap inside him when he heard the word "unworthy". He abruptly put his arm around your waist and pushed your body towards him with his hand on your back. The hurt gaze he wore before turned into something different, into something frightening.
"Do not use this word to qualify yourself, my flower. You are way more than that. You're my most precious Grisha, my most precious ally, and my dear, dear, friend." His words were spilled like tasty poison, so dangerous but yet, so good. You couldn't help but whimper under his touch. You knew how Aleksander could be possessive, but you simply refused to let yourself believe you were in his catalog.
Hearing you whimper satisfied him, he let a small smile creep on his face, and he slowly buried his face into your neck. "If you don't believe my words maybe I'll need to show you who you belong to, flower." He kissed your neck, making a path towards your jaw, then your lips. He made sure to dry your tears before kissing you, you sighed into him, your arms making their way to his shoulders. You felt helpless whenever he touched you like this, thinking of nothing more but to please him right now, in this room.
He broke the kiss that left you both breathless, he took a moment to look at you, your eyes, your face, lips, jaw, and neck, and he felt you burning for him. He loves the hold that he had on you. "To bed, without your clothes, please." Even if he would love ripping out your kefta from your body, to expose all of yourself to him, he couldn't, he already had to deal with the million layers of his outfit. So he just followed you to the bed, while you were removing your boots, then your kefta, and then everything that went under it. He was getting rid of his clothing too, but getting distracted by how beautiful you looked for him, his hands stopped doing what he originally wanted to do, and your voice interrupted the silence.
"Do you need help, General ?" You were almost fully naked in front of him, a wave of arousal went through his body, making wearing pants uncomfortable. He nodded at you first, then when you were getting rid of his first few layers of clothes he spoke again.
"Please flower, tonight, only call me by my name. Can you do that ?" You eagerly nodded while you were getting rid of his final upper layer, revealing his scarred torso to you. You let your fingers trail on some of them, wanting to kiss every bit of scars he had on his body. He smiled, loving your admiration and worship, he missed it. He took your wrists in his hand and smiled down at you.
"I know how much you love to worship me, flower, but not yet, you'll do it when I pump my cock deep inside of you. Right now I want to have you at my mercy and show you who this beautiful body belongs to. You hear me ?" You nodded, unable to form more than one word because of his power over you.
"Words, flower." He removed the last bit of clothes that kept you from being naked, exposing you to him. You stuttered "Yes, I understand Aleksander.", that seemed to please him a lot. He pushed you onto the bed, making his way on top of you. He still had his pants on, enjoying the friction of the fabric when his cock was getting bigger with arousal.
"This time it will be me who worships you. I'm going to taste you and make you scream." You whimpered, while he was kissing your neck, making his way painfully slowly toward your breasts. He kissed them softly before trailing down to your stomach, then your hips. He guided you to open your legs for him and found his hands gripping the back of your thighs. He kissed the inside of your thigh before finally making his way to your perfect already wet cunt. You were this wet since the intense kiss you shared earlier, and the more you felt his touch, the more you would be needy for him.
He first lapped your pussy, to take a taste out of it, then completely buried his face into it. You weren't ready, it's been so long since you felt any kind of pleasure down there, you gasped and moaned, already on the verge of screaming. And he was just getting started? You knew you were about to break under him. The obscene noises of him tasting all of you made your head spin. He was eating you out like he wouldn't be able to do it after. The tip of his nose was making friction with your clit, and his tongue inside of you. He groaned under you, you were delicious, and he would not get over how delicious you tasted.
Your moans and the noises he made by tasting you filled the entire room. He was almost tongue-fucking you as you felt your release build-up. You struggled to align proper sentences, just letting out the same words, "Saints, please, Aleksander". He loved how his name sounded on your lips when you were about to come for him, but he would be sure to make you scream it.
"I'm going to make you cum for me, flower. I want you to scream my name when you do. I don't care if anyone hears, they'll just know who you belong to. You're mine, flower."
He then sucked on your clit and took two fingers to pump them inside of you. You screamed at the newfound sensation of his fingers, and your back arched while you were begging for a release. You were so desperate for him and it made his cock ache under the layer of his pants. He wanted to stop right here and bury himself inside of you just to feel you come around him. He sucked your clit even harder and teased your folds with his fingers. His other hand squeezed your thigh as he felt you crumble under his touch. He knew you were close, you were already losing your mind, and the moans you let out were incoherent at this point.
“I know you’re close, flower, cum for me.” You screamed his name while hanging onto the bed sheets. The heat of your orgasm flew all over your body, your back arched and your legs were trembling. The delicious feeling of your release was overwhelming, you soaked Aleksander’s face. He pulled out his fingers slowly and kissed one last time your clit, then your cunt. He straightened up so you could see his face better, his hair was a mess and he was panting. He crushed his lips onto yours hungrily, making you taste the mix of your juices and his spit. You moaned against him, your hands finding their way to his groin. You stroked the length of his cock through the fabric. You wished he was fully naked right now, so you could feel him completely. He hummed into your lips and helped you get rid of his pants.
He broke the kiss to fully remove his clothes, which was a relief to both of you. He felt uncomfortable with the hard-on he had since he had first kissed you. And you, you wanted to please him, to have the taste of his cock on your tongue, to suck him so good so he could not think about anything else but you. But you knew it wasn't part of the plan today. You saw his cock already so hard and ready to be buried inside you. You bit your lip at the thought of it, you haven't had anyone since he left for the Fold with Alina, and god you missed him.
He went back once he was fully naked to kiss the corner of your lips. "I know what's on your mind, flower. You missed me, haven't you ?" He continued to kiss your cheek, your jaw, and your neck while placing himself between your legs. You felt him lightly stroke the tip of his cock on the opening of your pussy which made you moan. "Oh, Saints, yes I've missed you Aleksander." You felt him smile on your neck while caressing your body until his hands found your hips. He faced you once again and looked at you fondly with his dark eyes.
He licked his lips, seeing you desperate for him, he knew you were about to beg for him to fuck you. He didn't even wait for you to say a word that he pumped into you. The feeling and the heat of his cock were oddly overwhelming, and you felt you could cum right here. "I'm gonna fuck you so good, my flower." You couldn't help but moan a please, to indicate that you needed him to move. He smiled and started to thrust into you painfully slowly.
The rhythm he gave was making you feel every inch of his heat inside of you, you were almost trembling. But you wanted more, you begged once again and put your arms around his shoulders. "Please, Aleksander, I need more." Hearing his name falling through your lips while you were begging felt so good. He let out a curse and started to move into you harder and faster. Both of you loved being in each other's arms so you were on the verge of losing your minds.
The room was filled with your moans, the sound of both your skin slapping on each other, Aleksander's light panting while he was thrusting into you, and the obscene wet sounds of his cock going in and out of your soaked cunt. You wanted this moment to last forever, to have Aleksander all for yourself. The sound he made while fucking you was pushing you closer and closer to your release, and he felt it too. "Flower come on my cock with me please ?" You could only nod, overwhelmed by these sensations.
"I want to fill you up, love, can I ?" It was the first time he called you that, you couldn't even process the name you just wanted the both of you to cum. You almost screamed "Yes, please Aleksander.", you were so loud for him, so good to him, you'd never let him go.
The wave of your orgasm reached you when his thrusts became erratic. Your cunt clenched around him as he finally got the release you seek. You felt his hot seed splashing into you, while he reached to kiss you again while filling you completely. You moaned against his mouth, enjoying everything he gave you.
"You're mine, my little flower, mine only."
#shadow and bone x reader#shadow and bone imagine#reader insert#the darkling x reader#the darkling#general kirigan#general kirigan x reader#aleksander kirigan#aleksander morozova x reader#aleksander morozova#the darkling smut#ben barnes x reader#ben barnes
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REPLACED.
YANDERE! ROCKSTAR (FEROZE KHAN) x GN! MANAGER / PA ! READER x YANDERE! POP IDOL (JISOO HAN [EVE] )
FEROZE BELONGS TO MANAGER READER AND @moyazaika !! Just wanted to make a lil gift for my lovely moot 💋
[ Part 2 : REHEARSAL ]
You were absolutely terrified.
Lord knows how you were able to get the Feroze Khan to agree with collaborating, with a “goody two shoes” pop idol who flirted to hell and back with you, no less. But you just knew someone was going to get hurt by the end of this.
Eve used to be your client before you were dumped into the depths of hell. Aside from the flirtations and clinginess, he was a dream to work with as a manager. He never got into scandals, and he worked day and night to be the best in his craft. You never had to worry when it came to his career. You however, took that for granted and left him the moment you got a better deal. Getting to work with a junior idol vs a seasoned rockstar, the choice was obvious was it not?
Nope.
Eve making tons of songs about heartbreak only poured salt into the wound. You saw him as your little brother almost, it was hard seeing him grieve for your presence. You felt heartless. Guilt ate you up from the inside out. You were lucky he didn’t try contacting you after it all.
Until now.
heeeyyy there! beena while. you workin with Feroze at the moment right???
You squinted at the DM you received. As a manager you were used to dealing with all sorts of texts. Thirsty ones, death threats, collaboration requests. But none of them made your heart beat this quickly. Was it out of excitement, nervousness, or terror? You didn’t know.
I am.
short and straight to the point as always!! i’ve always loved that about you
∧,,,∧
( ̳• · • ̳)
/ づ♡
take my love, wontchu?
You covered your mouth and squealed.
“The fuck?” Feroze looked up from his guitar at the noise you made. He had to admit it was cute but it did ruin a recording of his.
“Sorry, I’ll go outside.”
“No, stay. I need you here.”
You simply nodded, already used to his obsession with you at this point.
annyyyywaysss i just wanted to ask if you could secure a collab with me n mr. khan?
been tryin to get ahold of him but all i got back was radio silence 🥶
but i know if it’s you, the bestest manager ever, i’ll be able to collab with the bestest rockstar in the world!!
i’ll be a good boy i promise!! pretty please with a cherry and me on top?
Somehow you doubted that. But as your own self appointed protocol states, you must report the matter to your client.
“Feroze, you’ve got another collab request.”
“Was it the person that got you squealing?”
Oh no, you did not like his tone. Jealous Feroze was a monster to deal with. “. . . Yes ? “
“Go for it.”
“What? D-don’t you want to hear about their music style and what not before you—“
“I just have one condition. They have to come to me.”
And, you were doomed.
“Right. I’ll schedule a meeting.”
You stand corrected. They got along well. A bit too well for your liking. You didn’t have to stand awkwardly there while Feroze glared (as he usually does) at his collaborator. In fact they were even conversating! And it wasn’t small talk…
“Mr. Khan! You’re even dreamier up close.”
Your employer even seemed to be amused by Eve’s personality. “I could say the same for you, Eve right? Like the biblical Eve? And please, call me Feroze.”
“Yeah! They thought it’d be a nice call back to my more . . . type of music.“
“Type of music you say. . .”
“You thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Oh, you bet I am.”
Why do you have a feeling you were being replaced?
YOU RECEIVED A SPECIAL POSTER!
Check it out?
[ ✅ YES ]
[ PART 2: REHEARSAL ]
tempted to make a bl/mlm spin off of these two fr fr
©️ hana.no.seiiki - yun | moyazaika | 2023
#hns.art🎨#hns.eve#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere imagine#yandere oc#yandere fic#yandere oc x reader#oc#art#my art#fic#fiction#yandere fiction#yandere scenario#yandere short fic#yandere original character#yandere x you#yandere imagines#yandere oc x you#yandere ocs#yandere singer#yandere idol#yan#yandere original character x reader#male yandere#male yandere x reader#yandere x gender neutral reader#gn reader#yandere x gn reader
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Meeting again. Alexia × reader
Part 2
Reader comes back to Barca after 3 years.
The last 3 years have been a grind.
After I left Barcelona, I signed with Manchester city. Alexia and I haven't talked since that conversation at the door. My friends at the club were surprised at my sudden leave from the club we all thought I would retire at but I explained that I just needed a change of scenery and that if it all went well I would be back after one season. The fans were also shocked but I explained that for my mental health I had to leave and they understood that and supported my decision.
After I landed I stayed at Leila’s house while my affairs were getting sorted. The club was welcomùing and so were the girls. I had never played in the WSL before but it was a welcomed challenge. Their style of play was different, the culture surrounding the sport was different and so was the atmosphere, the support and the gay community.
All I focused on was my job. I Was friendly with the girls but never too close. I got fitter, healthier, faster, and more tactically efficient.
In my three years I won 2 WSL titles, 3 FA cups and 2 conti cups. We never made it to the champion’s league but the progress we made was enough for us to be feared globally.
My media presence and influence also grew. I had a disabled growth in the amount of following and input on the sales. Overall I was an entirely different person than the one I was before I left Alexia. The only true thing that mattered to me was myself and my growth.
By the end of my third season, after it had been decided we were the winner because of the difference in points between us and Chelsea, Leila came to me after practice one day.
“ hole chica, i need to talk to you about something.” She said after sitting next to me in the locker room.
“ Okay, go for it.” I replied.
“I noticed this a long time ago but I didn't know how to say it. You are giving my love. You haven't seen you in a long time. The cheerful, happy, complete you. Yes you have been doing well in other areas but you haven't been living a live amigo.” she said, caressing my back with her hand.
I looked up to her with a smile on my face, “ you are concerned, its cute, but don't be i am doing just fine.'' I said.
“ and that the problem you shouldn't be fine you should be more than, fine.” she said before I signed the camel out of her month. “ look so as to not hide anything from you, barca have contacted me.” she added.
Her statement has caused a jolt in my brain. Suddenly all the things that I had suppressed were coming back and all of Alexia back with it. But I stayed put and didn't move at all.
“ With Lucy now gone they need me to be the center back and want to build the old band back. They wanted me to open the conversation with you too but you weren't answering any of their calls or emails.” She said,
It is true Barca have been trying to contact you with no luck. The idea of barca was a distant thought in my brain. I couldn't do it. I couldn't be near her again, not when I just started to forget.
I remained silent and did not move, which prompted Leila to say. “ she drove you out of your club, your home, she doesn't deserve to stay in it while you suffer here. She should be the one suffering, not you. You love the chamipian’s league. You should go back and win it agin. You should fight to get back on the national team and play in the world cup. She has been getting a lot of the glory you deserve.” She was now angry.
“ Okay, I will think about just calming down,” I replied. I got my bags after that and left.
On my ride home all I was thinking about was the fact that she was right. I shouldn't hide away while Alexia is enjoying herself in Barcelona, not while she broke my heart.
As soon as I got home I called the president of barcelona. “ I heard you have a contract for me.'' I said as soon as he picked up.
The following weeks were hectic, me and Leila said our goodbye to the city girls and the staff. We packed up our bags and headed home.
This time she was the one living in my apartment. Our move has been kept quiet with only the necessary people knowing. The club wanted our home communing to be a total surprise. Leila and I negotiated both a multi year contract that we were both happy with.
After we were both settled in and at the start of pre season the club tweeted “ we can now officially announce that our og forward and center back are back safely home.'' The tweet was accompanied with a photo of both me and Leila signing our contracts.
The internet went crazy, we almost broke twitter with an announcement. I then thanked my city family with a post and logged off to prepare for my big day.
I was going to meet Alexia, the love of my life, the last person in my bed, my hero,and the reason for my heartbreak the following day.
I was very nervous so Leila opted to drive. We listened to music in hopes of getting nerves to calm down but with no luck.
When we arrived at the facility Leila held my hand and said “ we got this we are in this together. I smiled at her and started walking.
We went directly to the manager’s office. He gave us the rundown of everything and asked us to come to the field once we finished our fitness test.
We spent a couple hours in the gym getting our test done. Leila’s eyes never left mine reassuring me that everything will be okay. I managed to relax a little in the familiar space.
After we were done the physio asked us to go to the field.
All I could feel was my heart in my throat and the butterflies in my chest. Leila squeezed my hand to reassure me that it will all be fine.
I forgot what it felt like to be in the sun so that was all I was thinking about. Suddenly I heard clapping, Jonathan had introduced us to the team.
The first one to hug me was Ona, then Cata, Panos and all the rest except Mapi, Ingrid, Patri, Claudia and Alexia. They were all standing apart from everybody just watching as the rest of the team gave Leila and i hugs and kisses.
I knew this was gonna be hard but i didn't anticipate this. This will be more painful than hell will ever be.
#alexia putellas#alexia putellas fic#alexia x reader#woso#woso fanfics#woso imagine#espwnt#mapi leon#magdalena eriksson#niamh charles#ona batlle#mary earps#alessia russo#leila ouahabi#barca femeni#woso request#woso community#woso couples
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Is it alright if I request Yandere father Gojo satoru where his daughters ability is to control time since Gojo has absolute control over space at an atomic level and she also has infinity but he never taught her how to use it but durining the shibuya arc she either reverses or stopped time to save a couple of people a d stop certain events from happpening (if this is too much you do t have to do the whole shibuya arc part )
Sorry that this is long anyways have a nice night/day ( `ε´ )
Since I have not watched season 2 yet, I am not doing the shibuya arc part. Since you also specified fem pronouns, the reader will be fem.
edit: hehehe, I forgot to say: have a nice day as well and I loved this request :D
warnings: yandere themes, isolation mentioned (I do not condone this and if you can seek help please do), Gojo is a piece of shit and two-faced, Reader is done with life, swearing because author is in pain and sick and when the author is sick they swear a lot, vague ending
I don't understand the ability completely, but I made it so that if you didn't master it properly you can get hurt when you use the ability (which might actually be apart of it, but my memory is shit)
Ko-fi
Consequences and actions
Goji Satoru was the first sorcerer to be born with limitless and six eyes in 400 years, so truly he was surprised when he saw that his daughter had them too. It was weaker than his, yes.
But he didn't know what to do. He didn't want his daughter to master both because then she wouldn't need him anymore.
"Dad can you teach me use both?" Reader had once asked, and his answer was: "There is no reason for you to learn."
It frustrated Reader to no end, she had the abilities but she wasn't allowed to develop and become a full-pledged sorcerer.
Satoru could understand Reader's frustration to an extent, but after a while of you complaining and begging to start training, he started to get annoyed.
"Reader, if you don't stop complaining right now, you will lose your communication privileges." Satoru hissed. Reader scoffed and muttered; "You should just call it isolation."
"Watch your mouth." Satoru hissed. "That's no way to speak to your father."
Reader rolled her eyes. "I just don't get why." Satoru sighed and spoke softl; "It's too dangerous, you would get on the curses radar and right now I got the world believing that you are just a child with no special powers, with no grade."
"When you are gone." Reader started. "How will I be able to protect myself if you aren't here?"
"That's not for you to worry about, now stop complaining and whining about it."
Unfortunately for Satoru his students like Reader more than him, so they helped her with learning how to control their abilities. Well to the best of their extent.
So when Reader had been good in Satoru's opinion she could tag along on a school mission. "Remember, if there is a fight run don't fight. I'll find you with your tracker."
"Wait what tracker-"
"Excuse me I misspoke. Habits, I meant habits." Satoru lied quickly with a grin and kissed Reader' forehead, sounding rather soft. "Now can you promise me you'll stay out of the way before we meet with the class?"
Reader nodded and hugged Satoru. "Thank you dad for taking me with you."
"No problem, kid." Satoru chuckled.
Unfortunately for Reader she couldn't keep that promise. Out of instinct she protected Satoru and Yuji for a curse that suddenly appeared. What was worse is that she used her abilities.
But using your abilities out of instinct can hurt you quite a lot, Reader started to bleed out of her eyes..
"D-dad." Reader muttered out. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."
Satoru brushed away Reader's blood stained tears. "It's okay, you did it out of instinct." This caused Reader to become confused. "Y-you aren't mad?"
"Baby, you are injured you think I will be mad right now?" Satoru asked Megumi to grab his eye cream and used it on you. "Class dismissed."
Satoru took Reader home, unexpectedly calm. Causing Reader to feel like a storm was coming. Satoru was making her a drink when he asked: "You trained your abilities, didn't you?"
Reader tensed up and nodded slowly. It was better to be truthful, right now. "... I suppose I cannot be that angry as it might have saved your life." Satoru muttered with a frown. "Drink this."
A glass of soda was put infront of her. Reader drank it, she was quite de-hydrated. "Thank you, papa."
"Why did you train without my permission?" Satoru asked. "I want to be able to protect myself." She admitted. "So that you can trust me with going out more."
Satoru chuckled as her eyes became dazy. "Perhaps you should figure out when your drink is spiked then."
Reader stood up and stepped back in shock.
"Awh, did you really think you wouldn't be punished?" He grinned. "How cute my dear daughter."
She tried to back away knowing full well what will happen.
"Maybe I should break your legs." Satoru mumbled doing a fake thoughtful look. "I got it!"
"Dad, please."
"I will make sure that you fully understand my love!" Reader knew what this meant, being locked up, and much more. "Maybe I should get you another parent to help with that as well..."
Oh, that was new.
"But I don't want to share you at all...."
#treefairy🧚♂️🍁#platonic yandere#soft yandere#yandere x darling#male yandere#yandere father#yandere jjk#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere#yandere dad#tw yandere#yandere gojo#yandere satoru gojo#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk imagines#jjk fanfic#yandere male#platonic yandere gojo#jjk x reader#jujutsu sukuna#jujutsu gojo#jujutsu sorcerer#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#kinda angst#not really tho#one shot#oneshot#fem readre
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Am I an asshole because I told someone to shut the hell up about his autism?
Now, please read this before making your vote.
I (21 F) started going back to school recently, I signed up for classes late because it took so long for the paperwork and processes to be finalized. I was taking a speech class in the morning and we had to do a group project in class. Now, I spoke with the professor and told her I did not do well in group projects because I either get treated like literal crap or I do all the work. She said she didn't care, either I join a group or get a 0. Someone (20 M) was watching, we'll call him Ed for clarity. I asked if I could join Ed's group and he said yes. I tried being really nice to Ed and waited for our group members to meet with us after class. He showed me which music he liked and I said it was nice. So, during the entire time period of this project I would meet a lot with my group mates and we'd do the project. It was very difficult because professor wanted over 10 resources and a certain length for the report, then to top it off a PowerPoint we'd be presenting too. Ed did a lot of things to make me feel very uncomfortable, but my group mates ignored it and didn't say anything. He'd talk about how he visited the dark web and looked into hitmen. Then he showed us an intro to a porno. I felt very uncomfortable and mentioned it to the other girl in our group, she said she would talk with the other boys in our group about it (they all had been friends since highschool except Ed) , she said the assignment did require us to find an intro that was terrible, but maybe a porno intro was too much. The assignment in question was basically a research project about why introductions are very important. They ended up choosing some 90's tv show intro, I don't remember which one it was, just that the show got 2 seasons and the intro was too stereotypical for the time. During the time Ed would send me random "hi"s and he added/followed me on all my social media. He would comment on everything and would try to make conversations on them when I wouldn't text back. I kept the texts as bland as possible. Ed just gave me a bad vibe and kept doing shit to make me uncomfortable. Now here's where the autism part comes in. I was talking to a guy I had a crush on instagram and I guess Ed noticed. So Ed basically calls me and asks if I'm not attracted to him because he has autism. I said what the hell and hung up. It made me feel so uncomfortable then he started bringing up his autism on all my photos, posts, tweets, you name it. I didn't know what to do anymore. Ed kept blowing up my phone too. He'd message me every 5 mins and would get mad when I wouldn't answer right away. So back to my crush, Ed messaged him I wasn't interested in dating him! Like dude! So my crush says he doesn't have time for immaturity and blocks me despite me trying to defuse and apologize hundreds of times for that. So I asked for some advice and basically I got that his autism was making him act like that. I don't want to sound ableist, I'm sorry if I give off that impression, but enough was enough. I told him to fuck off or else I'd get the authorities and school involved since what he was doing was harassment. He said he can't harass since he has autism so I told him to shut the hell up about his autism since it wasn't a "get out of jail" card so i finally blocked him everywhere. I don't know if I'm being an asshole or maybe I'm just not patient or equip to handle Ed? Even then, I am in no shape or form attracted to Ed nor was I ever. Now I just never want him bothering me again.
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HAZBIN HOTEL EP 7 AND 8 QUICKK REVIEW
contains major spoilers, let's start!
how about we start with episode 7, hmm?
i must say, before the episode were released I had a theory, that alastor could make a deal with charlie and try to get her soul to(following the theory about lilith having alastor on a leash) try to exchange charlie's soul for his own BUT it did not happen, and I cannot say it's disappointing for me
as hannibal fun and an expirienced cannibalistic-joke maker it feels like a personal win to have cannibal town being one the most comfortable places in hell with cannibals being really wholesome and polite guys
and of course the diamond of the crown - rosie
she was amazing in this episode. she definitely has the vibe of this rich auntie who visits you once a year and gives the best gifts and advices. she actually gives amazing advices, that's for sure. and i love her friendship with alastor, i bet they meet every weekend and share gossips
all of us should be proud of charlie and the way she becomes leader and takes responsibility for her people. this is THE character development
here we are slowly coming to episode 8 also known as the finale of season 1!!
it was a bright culmination of all of the season 1 and it turned out amazing
but dear readers, i'm sure all of you have already watched it (maybe even 2 or 3 times, right?), so why don't i just say a few words about my favorite moments
the scene before big battle, where everybody is just spending time with other is exactly what shows how much are this lost souls now bonded. they realise they have no idea what is there, waiting for them in tomorrow and that's what make this scene
and let me just say it: huskerdust
it is a big joy to know this actually happened
i also might say that the victory wasn't easy nor unreasonable. think about the fact that nobody knew how to defeat angels is the exact reason hazbin's crew won. indeed the more power you got the less carelessness you should have.
and i'd really enjoy to share some of my highlights of this battle if I do say so
here wee goooo:
sir pentious kissing the girl he loves than heroically dies and goes to heaven. absolutely nailed it
charlie's demon form. and shall we not forget ruzzle and duzzle in their dragon form.
that absolutely iconic show up from lucifer and him in the whole battle
niffty killing adam. i'd say this is hilarious
alastor being beaten, afraid and panicked. yes, i WAS talking about it. it was important to show he can feel real emotions and fear and loss are one of them
three vees watching battle for hotel and living their best lives(i still hate val, just to be clear)
what is really natural about the battle that they don't just celebrate victory. they mourn pentious, and charlie feels guilty, but they still go on, rebuild hotel singing one of the best songs for the whole show
i am intrigued by what the season 2 has to offer for us, my dear friends and I surely will be waiting for it
now i'm just about to thank you for reading this and wish you a pleasant day!
#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#angel dust#husker hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin charlie#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel husk#hazbin hotel lilith
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secret keeper | m. schumacher
pairing: mick schumacher x driver!teammate!reader
word count: 2.1k words (i really wanted all of these to be short lol sorry)
request: don’t think so!
prompt: doing secret santa ⎯ “just tell me who got me.” from this prompt list. not my prompts, credits to the person who created it!warnings: kinda crack!fic, idk. language, really fluffy, seb being great, special appearance by the spanish speaking gang (i had to). reader speaks spanish in this.
a/n: here’s day 2! i hope you like it, pls let me know what you think! reminder that my requests are closed.
my masterlist
(you'll know why i chose this gif later lol)
doing secret santa was the most exciting part of the year for her. it was something so silly and it made her so happy, the thought of having someone actually think deep about what they felt she’d really enjoy was a thrilling one.
something she didn’t quite like about secret santa was that first part. the secret. whilst she did like surprises, and there were only a few limited options as to who might give her something, the anticipation was too much for her.
her teammate, mick, had made a bet with himself, to see how long it’d take her to either figure out or start interrogating everyone until they told her who her secret santa was. at first he gave it ten minutes, but he laughed to himself as he watched her.
they were doing the standard start-of-year interviews, the drivers’ goals and predictions, and the secret santa name draw. mick had already finished his, and was waiting for her so they could go and have lunch together. normally they’d wait longer to do the name draw, but last year the organizers had left it till the last minute, and they didn’t want to risk it this time. plus, they’d have a whole season ahead of them to think really well about the gift.
“okay, (y/n), i’ve got this santa hat here-” the interviewer said, showing her the hat.
“ooh, christmas in march, i like it!” she laughed.
“and in here there’s the names of the other drivers available for the gift exchange,” she nodded at the interviewer.
“i like that we’re doing this right at the start of the season,” she chuckled, grabbing the hat by the white fluff, the pom pom hanging down, “but i can assure you, more than one person will wait until the day before to get their gift,” the people around her laughed, mick did, too. “why are you laughing? did you feel called out?” she asked mick, raising an eyebrow. a camera panned to him, shaking his head at her.
“i already know what i’m going to get,”
“ooh, tell me, tell me!” she rushed to him, moving her hair away from her ear. he leaned in, presing his lips close to her ear.
“no.”
she rolled her eyes, slapping the back of his head.
“did you get seb?” she asked walking back to the spot where she was supposed to be, where all the cameras were ready to record her. she hadn’t arrived in time to see his secret santa segment, so she’d have to find out another way.
“i’m not going to tell you!” he laughed, as the interviewer shook her head.
“you’re not supposed to tell each other, or anyone,” she clarified.
“ugh, fine.” she laughed, “sorry,” she apologized, and placed her hand in, “wait, then he should leave! or he’ll know who i get,” she pointed an accusatory finger at him. “what if i get him?”
“someone else already got mick,” the interviewer clarified, and her shoulders slumped a little, it wasn’t a lie that the two of them were the closest friends and teammates, but she wouldn’t let that discourage her.
“dang it, what am i going to do with all those treats i got for angie, then?” she teased, mick laughed. “so sorry, i know this is taking way longer than it should’ve. i promise i’ll focus now.” she nodded, “you can stay, just promise not to tell anyone,” she told mick, who pretended to zip his lips together.
she ran her fingers through all the folded pieces of paper, finally picking one that called to her. she unfolded it, her eyes opening wide as she read.
“hell yes!” she skipped from one foot to the other, jumping in excitement, “i got seb!” she declared happily, showing the paper to everyone. “ha-ha!” she mocked mick, who only rolled his eyes as he laughed. the two of them were the best of friends. they grew up together, and had been teammates since they were in f3, somehow they always found their way back to each other. suddenly her eyes snapped open, “did you get me?” she gasped. mick shook his head. “did he get me?” she asked the rest of the crew behind the cameras, who only laughed at her eagerness, but didn’t answer. “fine, if you could just tell whoever got me that my favorite color is blue, that would be great, thanks!”
-
months passed and as the end of season approached, her relentlessness to know who her secret santa was came back with as much as before. this time, mick wasn’t her only victim.
it started in mexico city, when she was walking alongside charles and lando, and someone from charles’ team approached him.
“hey, charles, just to remind you that the deadline for the secret santa gift is in brazil.” he said, leaving them after that.
“you haven’t turned in your gift?” she asked, she’d done it the week before, when she was finally done packing the perfect gift for sebastian. her mentor.
“i honestly forgot about it,” he said, lando laughed, drinking from his water bottle. something shifted in her eyes as an idea popped in her head.
“well, i could help you!” she offered, blinking slowly to gain his attention.
“really?” he asked, feeling like a weight was being lifted off his shoulders, “thanks i honestly didn’t know what to get-” he was about to say the name of his secret santa, but lando elbowed him on the ribs.
“you can’t say it!” he scolded him, chuckling at her enraged face.
“lando you ass! he was about to tell me!” she grunted, grabbing charles’ face and directing his eyes to her. “tell me charles, who’s your secret santa?”
“no! i can’t say,” he shook his head, feeling something in the pit of his stomach as her eyes narrowed.
“did you get me? do you know who got me?” she asked, shaking his shoulders dramatically. lando laughed, charles was trying his hardest to keep a straight face.
“no, and no!” he said, she grunted, and moved on to lando.
“do you know, norris?” she asked.
“no. i don’t know. and i didn’t get you.”
“you didn’t?” she asked, at least if he denied it she could tick him off his list.
“i don’t know,” he said, shrugging and smiling sheepishly.
she punched his shoulder and walked away, both drivers hurried after her.
-
finally, in abu dhabi things got a little bit sweeter. the dinner to honor sebastian was a perfect opportunity for her to really tick people off her list of suspects, up until that point the only person off her list was herself. she hadn’t made that much progress. she had to be smart about it, she couldn’t just straight up ask someone about it, much less if her friends were listening to her.
thankfully, as they were about to leave and were all gathering to take a picture, they all started talking about their agendas for the next day.
“i’m doing the secret santa thing early tomorrow, thankfully,” she heard fernando say, in spanish, he was talking to the other spanish-speakers of the grid. she thanked the stars for her stubbornness, and her parents for listening to her when she said she wanted to learn as many languages as she could. spanish, of course, french, italian, english, and german. this was her shot, and if she were alone, she would’ve grinned like the grinch. she approached them, slowly, and listened to them. “after that i’m completely free.”
“free of what?” she popped in.
“media duties,” he explained, smiling.
“ugh, i’m busy all day. i think they left my secret santa segment for last.”
“well, of course, everyone knows how much you love that thing,” checo said.
“that’s true, i know,” she chuckled. “did you guys struggle to get your gift?”
“not really, mine is an inside joke with max,” checo shrugged, the name slipping from his lips without him noticing.
“aw that’s nice,” she smiled, feeling carlos looking at her.
“i’m not going to tell you who i got.”
“why? did you get me?” she tried, but carlos shook his head.
“i don’t mind, if it will help you sleep better. i didn’t get you,” fernando admitted, she looked at him gratefully.
“see, carlos? that’s what a good friend does!” she pointed at fernando, “thank you.”
mick called her name, she excused herself and walked to him, feeling his arm around her shoulders.
“what are you doing?” he asked accusatorily.
“we can tick checo and fernando off my list,” she gave him a smug smile, clearly content with her work for the night.
“you’re just not letting this go are you?” he asked, amused at her stubbornness, it didn’t surprise him, he knew her like the back of his hand, but it was still nice to see her trying her hardest to figure this out.
“this all can end if you just tell me who got me.” she said, leaning her head against his shoulder as everyone else gathered around, getting ready for the group picture.
“you’ll know tomorrow. don’t worry.” he reassured her. she sighed.
-
the next day, mick and (y/n) were like two kids, she’d wanted to watch seb open the present she got him, and had convinced mick to help her make it happen in a way that wouldn’t be so obvious. it didn’t take that much to find a way to stay and watch seb.
they just found him as they walked pass, and asked if they could stay. the lady in charge of all of the f1 media just asked them to stay quiet.
“oh, this is very nice,” seb smiled as he took out the first present, “didn’t we have like $30 limit?” he chuckled, (y/n) and mick laughed too. the last gift was a dead giveaway, a picture of her, mick, and seb. when the two young drivers were just kids, barely starting karting against each other. it was from the first time they met sebastian in a “professional” environment. “oh, well, i think i know who this is from,” he grinned, his eyes darting to the two of them, with mick confused and (y/n) with a big smile on her face. he showed the picture to the camera, a different camera panning to the two haas drivers. “judging by their faces i’d say this is from (y/n),” he guessed.
she nodded her head, and walked to him when he opened his arms for her. they hugged each other, she was going to miss him so much. he’d always been there for her. all throughout her career and her personal life. she looked up to him, admired him and everything he worked for, what he stood for.
“thank you, dear, i loved all of my gifts,” she smiled, proud of herself.
“thank you for everything you’ve done for me,”
-
after an excruciatingly long day, it was her turn to film her secret santa section.
“i really hope you add a special montage of every time i’ve risked my life, and others’, trying to figure out who got me in this gift exchange,” she only half-joked, but it helped ease the mood with everyone around. mick, as usual, was sitting next to her, on the other side of the cameras.
“we’ll make sure of it,” the f1 producer nodded, making a mental note to check all the footage. once the cameras started rolling officially, she got her signature smile on, “(y/n), welcome to the 2022 f1 secret santa. i know this is something you’ve been looking forward all year long,” she nodded her head, “i won’t make you wait much longer so, here you go,” she was handed a small box, and her first instinct was to shake it to see if it made any noise.
“i hear a faint jingling.” she said, unwrapping the blue ribbon around the black box. “it’s blue! thanks santa!” she smiled, remembering the comment she’d made about her favorite color. “oh, whoa-” her eyes widened as she saw the gift. it was a necklace, with the outline of a track hanging in the middle. “it’s spa!” she giggled, recognizing the twists and turns. “oh my god, this is so nice, i-” her eyes widened as she stared at it, a light flush had creeped its way up to her cheeks. “oh, gosh, i-” she was at a loss for words, she was expecting maybe a gift that was partly a joke, or something small. this was too much. “i don’t think i can accept this.”
“do you have any clue as to who it might be?” they asked her, she was still too shocked to think.
“no. well, i mean the only person that pops in my head that might be this thoughtful is either mick or seb, but i guess maybe charles, too? i know he’s sponsored by a jewelry company,”
“you’re so close,” they told her.
“pierre?” she guessed, it didn’t really make sense, he didn’t know that spa was her favorite track, well, to her knowledge.
“not quite,” she sighed.
“i don’t know. i-” she turned her head, seeing mick looking at her, throughout the entire time he could feel his eyes on her, it wasn’t anything different. but she saw a faint blush on his cheeks, his ears. “oh my god. no. are you shitting me?” she asked him, directly, not even looking at the cameras. “it was you? it’s been you this entire time?” she asked. and mick couldn’t hide it anymore, he smiled, nodding. “mick!” she ran to him, he stood up as she approached him and she jumped in his arms. “thank you, i love it,” she said.
“i’m glad you liked it,” he said, suddenly becoming shy under all of the stares.
once she returned to her spot, she couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. her fingers were playing with the chain that now hung from her neck.
“how’d you know it was mick?” they asked her.
“well, not many people know that my favorite track is spa. i mean, they probably wouldn’t think it is given my bad luck there,” she said, referring to the fiasco last year and her dnf of that year after having a great race. “and he blushes a lot,” she added, chuckling.
they hurried the rest of the video, as she thanked him once more, this time in front of the cameras.
-
“i should’ve known,” she said as she shook her head. “i knew there was a reason you weren’t telling me.”
“ah, well, i had to keep the secret,” he chuckled.
“i really love this, mick, thank you. you really didn’t have to get me something so…”
“oh, you’ll just have to wait and see what i’ve got in store for christmas,” he smiled, leaving her stunned there as he kept walking.
“what do you mean? you got my gift already?!” she asked, rushing to him again.
“i don’t know,” he shrugged, “maybe,” he said as he got into the elevator.
“what is it? can you give me a clue?” she asked.
“hmm… i can just say you’re going to love it,” mick smiled, already looking forward to their christmas trip, one that could possibly change the course of their friendship, possibly changing to something more. being her secret santa wasn’t the only secret mick was keeping.
#25 days of christmas#mick schumacher x reader#mick schumacher fanfic#f1 imagine#mick schumacher fanfiction#mick schumacher#mick schumacher imagine#mick schumacher one shot#mick schumacher oneshot#mick schumacher drabble#mick schumacher fan fiction#mick schumacher fluff#mick schumacher fic#mick schumacher x y/n#mick schumacher x you#mick schumacher x driver!reader#mick schumacher x teammate!reader#mick schumacher blurb#f1 fiction#f1 fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fandom#f1blr#f1#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula 1 imagine#formula one imagine#f1 drivers one shot
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Hi! I just wanted to start off by saying that your analyses on the characters are awesome and they really helped further my understanding of the show, so keep up the good work! :D
I was wondering, if you don't mind answering, what did you think of about Dean giving permission for Gadreel/Ezekiel to possess Sam in season 9?
I'm still a bit on the fence about how to feel about it and I thought your particular brand of wisdom might be able to help me out.
Dean had just a few pieces of information at the hospital in 9.01.
Dean knew that Sam had every intention of surviving The Trials in 8.14 and in fact Sam promised he would survive them and show Dean to the light at the end of the tunnel, because Dean was suicidal: "I'm closing the gates. It's a suicide mission for you. [...] I want to slam hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't – I am. But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it."
Dean observed that Sam became suicidal over the course of The Trials and that this culminated in Sam forsaking his promise and his desire to live and falling into a tailspin where he wanted to die to make himself "pure". Disturbing dialogue from 8.21: "Knights of the Round Table. Had all of King Arthur's knights, and they were all on the quest for the Holy Grail. And I remember looking at this picture of Sir Galahad, and, and, and he was kneeling, and— and light streaming over his face, and— I remember... thinking, uh, I could never go on a quest like that. Because I'm not clean. I mean, I w— I was just a little kid. You think... maybe I knew? I mean, deep down, that— I had... demon blood in me, and about the evil of it, and that I'm— wasn't pure? [...] It doesn't matter anymore. Because these trials... they're purifying me."
Dean pleaded with Sam not to kill himself in 8.23, and Sam agreed, asking, "How do I stop?"
These are the details Dean has prior to Sam falling into a coma. He believes that his brother wanted to commit suicide, but that he did change his mind and decide he wants to live.
Two other notable details:
First, Gadreel earns Dean's trust quickly by risking his ass to help Dean, and then on the phone (after being given the fake name "Ezekiel") Cas, relieved and pleased, vouches for Ezekiel. So Dean has no reason to suspect anything nefarious (and in fact, at this point, Gadreel doesn't have particularly nefarious intentions besides staying in hiding away from other angels).
Second, Dean is not the one who pleads with Sam to live in the dream sequence, getting him to say "Yes". It can't be Dean, because 1) "Dean's" face morphs into Gadreels which is clearly intended to indicate to us that this wasn't Dean speaking 2) If Gadreel was somehow projecting the real Dean into the conversation to give that speech, then Gadreel wouldn't be the one receiving the consent. It would truly be Dean receiving it and not just Gadreel pretending. Those words HAVE to come from Gadreel's mouth for the possession to work—not Dean's. We've seen angels morph into loved ones and mimic their voices perfectly several times.
With all that in mind:
After Gadreel pitches his plan to possess Sam, Dean immediately says it isn't his call to make—it's Sam's. It's after Gadreel shows him Sam falling back into the same suicidality from 8.23—wanting to die so that "no one else can get hurt because of me"—that Dean wavers. Still—at the end of the day, whether Sam agrees to live or not was never Dean's choice, and this is something I often see people get mixed up about. Dean doesn't get to choose whether Sam dies or not. It is still Sam who chooses to live. Sam does this by saying "Yes" to Gadreel. This could not have happened if Sam hadn't changed his mind about living. He doesn't know he's going to be possessed, but he has once again beaten back his suicidality and chosen to live. Sam still had hope in a good future.
Sam chose to live. He did not know he was going to be possessed. That's the issue. However, Dean did not intend to keep Gadreel's possession from Sam after it happened. Dean and Gadreel have this conversation upon leaving the hospital:
DEAN
So? How's it look in there?
EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY
Not good. There is much work to be done.
DEAN
Yeah, but he's gonna wake up, right?
EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY
He will.
DEAN
So, what he does – what, is he gonna feel you inside, triaging his spleen?
EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY
He will not feel me, no. There is no reason for Sam to know I'm in here at all.
DEAN
You're joking. No, this is – this is too big.
EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY
And what will he do if you do tell him he is possessed by an angel?
DEAN
Well, he'll have to understand.
This conversation suggests that Dean's initial thought process was "We perform supernatural life-saving surgery". He just wanted to get Sam to a point where he'd wake up and they could talk. Like any situation with a relative in a coma, that person in a coma can't consent to surgery. The next of kin is the one who gives consent, because their loved one can't. They can only consent to a procedure if awake to do so. So Dean doesn't stop Gadreel from performing life saving surgery, but his intial belief and intent is that they'll put all of this back in Sam's hands when he's awake.
Up to this point, I don't actually have a problem with what Dean's done based on his knowledge. It's here at the end of the episode, where Gadreel convinces Dean to depart from his intial intent and stall, that in my opinion, the "Dean doing something wrong" part starts:
EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY
And if he does not? Without his acceptance, Sam can eject me at any time, especially with me so weak. And if Sam does eject me, he will die.
DEAN
Then we keep it a secret for now. Or until Sam's well enough that he doesn't need an angelic pacemaker or I find a way to tell him. I - I... As for him being in a hospital, I'll have to figure something out.
EZEKIEL IN SAM’S BODY
I can erase it all, if you like. He will not remember any of this.
Dean doesn't feel good about it, but he agrees to keep quiet, because he's scared Sam will yet again make a suicidal play. Dean is riddled with guilt in the following episodes over lying to Sam, and in 9.08, Dean tries to tell Sam he's possessed, but Gadreel takes over Sam's body and stops him. Dean comes clean again in 9.09, only for Gadreel to stop Sam from receiving the news again.
So. Dean's mistake is lying to Sam. He shouldn't have lied to him. Point blank. At the same time, had Dean pushed the issue, would Gadreel have been willing to be expelled? Would he ever have allowed Dean to tell Sam the truth, from the moment he was... installed? Or was Dean screwed from the beginning, and was the idea that he got to choose any of this—any bit of it—really just... an illusion to keep Dean compliant with the possession that was keeping Gadreel under the radar?
Think about it for a second. Why did Gadreel ask Dean's permission? He didn't ever need Dean's permission to do any of this. He didn't need Dean's permission to trick Sam. He didn't need Dean's permission to remove Sam's memory of the hospital. He didn't need Dean's permission to keep the fact that he was possessing Sam a secret. He could have done every bit of this without asking. The problem was, Dean probably would have caught onto the disappearing angel act, and Gadreel would have had to get violent, and for the first part of season 9, Gadreel doesn't want to get violent! He just wants a place to lay low, and sees an opportunity to prove he's a good angel who helps humans—not just the angel who let the serpent into the garden. Getting Dean's "consent" might ease his own conscience about nonconsensual possession or be a way to keep Dean compliant or both, but ultimately, these are more questions worth weighing imo, because Supernatural loves to toy with the illusion that Dean has power in situations where he doesn’t, and in this case, he doesn't... actually have any power at all... does he?
That said, when it comes right down to it, Dean still did something wrong by helping keep the secret—by not trying to tell Sam the truth immediately because he was scared. And well. Okay. So what?
This is a show with characters who have good intentions but still make mistakes. As Cas will say about this later, "You were stupid for the right reasons". We get some great insights into the pitfalls that lead Dean down this path, and it's interesting to watch that happen and then later, see a broken mirror as Sam endeavors to prove through season 10 what Dean is willing to do can't touch what Sam is ultimately willing to do to keep Dean around.
Here's the thing—I don't believe for a single second that Sam wouldn't do the exact same thing in 9.01 had their positions been reversed. Sam and Dean have a conversation along these lines at the end of 9.13 "The Purge":
DEAN
All right, you want to be honest? If the situation were reversed and I was dying, you'd do the same thing.
SAM
No, Dean. I wouldn't. Same circumstances...I wouldn't.
This genuinely wounds Dean and gets brought up a few times, but then in 9.23 when it's brought up for the last time in another context:
DEAN
What happened with you being okay with this?
SAM
I lied.
Sam never gets the chance to do the exact same thing to Dean, but he has already gone behind Dean's back to try and save his life before. He's used Dean's death to justify doing things Dean begged him not to do on his behalf. He kept the case they were actually on under wraps as he inched toward a plan to turn himself and Dean into Frankenstein's monsters in 3.15 (and really the only reason it didn't work is that Sam got captured by Doc Benton and Dean had to save his ass, and then Sam morosely helped dig the grave). Sam went behind Dean's back directly against his wishes to threaten a crossroad's demon in 3.05. In season 10, he violates Dean's consent by removing the Mark of Cain from Dean's arm using the Book of the Damned, which not only requires an overt human sacrifice of Oskar and gets a woman named Suzie killed in "The Werther Project" because Sam refuses to heed her warnings, but also results in the apocalypse... and all of this was something Dean asked Sam not to do, and Sam did every bit of it to get his brother back, and while standing in the wreckage in 11.01, echoed Dean's line from 9.13, saying, "I would do it again". Dean signed the supernatural possession next-of-kin consent form, and the fallout was Kevin and Sam. Sam violated Dean's consent and tens of thousands of people died and he said he'd do it again while they died around him.
#also i got excited but xoxo 😘#season 9#9.01#gadreel#the flannel business#3.15#3.05#11.01#9.13#8.14#9.08#9.09#mail
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coffee and basketball
pairing: kate martin x fem reader! 2022-2023 season!
warnings: fluff! friends to lovers trope!? small mention of drinking! mentions of anxiety/fear of love!
authors note: pls be gentle this is my first fic
—
dec 5th 2022 ~ post iowa win against iowa state (dec 4th). score 70-57. kate martin with 13 points.
reader’s pov
the energy in iowa city was booming after last night’s win. i’ve been working at this coffee shop in iowa city since my freshman year of college and i’ve become accustomed to talking “game talk” my entire shift the day after a game, and if any of the players decide to stop in to do homework or for a quick drink, i sympathize as i watch them get trapped into nonstop conversations about basketball. iowa city is extremely proud of and cherishes our women’s basketball team, and quite frankly you never hear the end of it when you’re living here.
our coffee shop gets quite busy everyday, and my shift passes by with ease. as i’m finishing making the last order i took before clocking out, i see two familiar blondes walk in.
“hiiii!!! great game you guys!! your usuals today?”
“hey y/n thank you, yes please! how are you? when are you actually going to come to a game in person!” monika exclaimed. after working here for so long, we’ve developed a genuine friendship, sometimes catching up for a drink or just enjoying each other’s company in our apartments.
“i know, i know.. i promise i will before the season ends!” i laughed as i made their drinks. “kate, you did really good last night, i really wish i could’ve been there”.
i could see kate blushing out of the corner of my eye as I finished making their drinks, and monika nudging her. “y/n i am going to drag you to the next home game myself, kate always looks around and hopes you’re the-“ monika was interrupted by kate obnoxiously faking a cough attack. i laughed, blushing and handed them their drinks. as i handed kate her drink, our fingertips slightly touched and we made eye contact.
“in the meantime maybe we can go to open gym tonight? i can rebound for you and give you time to reenact some of your moves from the game for me” i said as i smiled up at kate with my eyebrows raised. although i was NOT short, yet kate disagrees, she was still 8 inches taller than me as I stood at 5’4. “we can meet at my apartment at 6 if you’re up for it”.
kate knew what i was doing. i knew what i was doing.
kate’s pov
my palms were immediately sweating. i looked down at her and honestly just forgot every single thing she’s said since i walked in because i cannot stop looking at her eyes and how well they compliment her dark hair, she just dyed it - i can tell. My eyes scan over her exposed tattoos on her arm and i quickly look back into her eyes so i don’t look like more of a creep than i already do.
“6pm is good. i’ll be there. at 6”, i tried playing it cool. she laughed, shaking her head and saying her quick goodbyes as she had to rush to her 2 o’clock class.
“you know you said 6 twice. i think she knew what time considering SHE asked YOU” monika explained while almost tumbling over laughing. “i mean kate, you should’ve seen your face. you two have been doing this for a year now. why have you not made a move on her? she’s clearly interested in you”
i sighed, “monika I don’t know. i really do like her but it’s just scary. i don’t know if i can commit to something, especially right now. basketball is our life and how will someone ever be able to fall in love with me if i can only see them for a few hours a week?” monika rubbed my shoulder and brought me in for a hug.
“just because you are a D1 athlete does not mean this is your entire life. you still deserve to have a life outside of basketball, and if anyone, she would be the most understanding” monika said, “you’ve got to make a move before she gives up. i know she’s into you kate. you deserve to feel and be loved”.
she really always was right.
we spent the rest of the day doing homework together and making lunch. as it got closer to 6, i could feel the knots in my stomach getting worse. luckily, we lived in the same apartment complex so it was a quick walk to her apartment.
5:55pm and i’m already at her door. is that too early? too desperate?
i knock a few times to let her know i’m here. i could just say i came early so i could see her cats
i looked down twiddling my thumbs, patiently waiting.
“coming!” i heard faintly from her apartment. she opened the door and quickly embraced me.
“kate hi! i just have to feed my cats before we leave so just come in for a minute” she said while frantically trying to feed her cats before they tried jumping into the food. i stepped into her apartment and patiently waited, laughing as her cats were jumping up her legs and meowing.
“you know, i’ve always been a dog person but i love your cats. they are just so adorable and have such a personality” i remarked.
“hah yeah, you can take them whenever. they are the best for cuddling but feeding them is still terrifying” she laughed.
she collected her bag, which i offered to hold, her water bottle and keys. we locked up her apartment and walked down to her car.
“midnights?” we asked in unison, both laughing after realizing we jinxed each other. i adore that she loves taylor swift almost as much as i do. i plugged in my phone to her aux and shuffled the album. as we started driving to our practice gym, i couldn’t help but steal glances at her, imagining what it would be like if we were more than friends, if i wasn’t so scared, i thought. i wouldn’t be afraid to hold her hand or her thigh while one of us drives. i wouldn’t be afraid to kiss her at every red light. i wouldn’t be afraid of love with her.
we pulled into the parking lot and i quickly grabbed both of our bags, and we made our way inside. no one had the practice gym booked for tonight, so it was just us. i put in my code to enter the gym, and we settled our stuff down.
“so.. what are we doing today coach kate” she smiled widely at me. i grinned and grabbed the rack of basketballs, pulling it next to the free throw line.
“well, let’s work on some free throw shots first”.
reader’s pov
after an hour of rebounding for kate and even taking some shots for myself, i decided to line myself up at the free throw line. i was never one to play sports, but i’ve always loved watching them. i’ve always been so jealous of people’s hand-eye coordination, as it never seemed to work for me which led to me burying myself in studies and clubs for years.
i try to fix my form like kate taught me, then launched it.
miss.
again, i grabbed another ball and launched it.
miss.
and again, and again. miss. miss. miss.
kate stifled a laugh watching me, and as i turned to glare at her she put her arms up in surrender.
“here, let me help you. we’ve already gone over this y/n, are you missing on purpose?” she questioned. i shook my head, my breath getting faster the closer she got to me. i faced the basket with the ball in my hands hoping to hide my blush.
“here, move over a little” kate said as she put her hands on my waist, moving me to the right a little. “now put your right hand here, and your left hand here” she said as she guided my hands from behind. all i could focus on was her breath on my neck and how close our bodies were without touching. “now shoot”
straight net.
“see! you can do it! but, can you guard me?” she questioned as she quickly knocked the new ball out of my hands, dribbling away from me.
“kate, of course i can guard you” i laughed chasing after her. we played 1 on 1 for a few minutes, her scoring on me multiple times and me not even able to keep the ball in my hands for more than a minute. as i jumped up to block her shot, i tumbled over her as we both fell to the ground. her arms were quick to grab my waist to ensure i fell on her instead of the hard wood court.
“kate!” i exclaimed laughing, “you could’ve hurt yourself and lisa would have actually hunted me down and killed me!”
we were both laughing as i rolled off of her and laid next to her on the ground. she turned over to look at me with a wide smile. we grabbed each other’s hands as we helped each other up, yet i stumbled into her again.
“a little clumsy tonight aren’t we?” she teased. her hands hesitant to continue holding my waist as we stood centimeters apart.
“i guess you just make me a little nervous” i confidently stated. our eyes stayed locked in for a minute, and for a split second i swore i saw her look at my lips, until she quickly pulled away almost breaking out in a sprint to our bags.
“we should get going, the janitors will be here soon to start locking up” she hurriedly said.
with a heavy sigh, i walked towards the exit grabbing my keys and water bottle as we made our way to the exit.
-
the car ride to the apartment complex was silent. i felt uneasy. is it me? is she just not into me? i thought. as i pulled in to my spot, kate offered to walk me back up to my apartment. the walk was long,
and silent. as i got to my door, i pulled out my key as fast as i could to unlock the door. “thank you for walking me kate, goodnight” i said as i tried rushing into my apartment. before i could shut my door, she put her hand out to hold it open”
“wait y/n,” she hesitated, “there’s been something i’ve been meaning to do for a while now”. kate strides towards me, reaching out to put one hand on my hip and one hand on my check, quickly pulling me up towards her and before i knew it, she kissed me.
she really kissed me.
her lips were soft. i could feel our smiles through the kiss and my heart nearly beating out of my chest, i wonder if she felt it too. kate pulled away first, looking down at me smiling, moving both hands to my cheeks.
“goodnight y/n” she said as she kissed my forehead. she backed away towards the door, and left before i could say a word.
i sheepishly slid my back down the cold wooden front door and made my way down to the floor. between the heat on my cheeks, tingling sensation on my lips, and the sound of my heartbeat thumping through my chest, nothing else in the world mattered in that moment. i delicately brought my finger to my lips, trying to relive the feeling through the sensations. my cheeks were hot and hurting. 'have I ever smiled this big in my life?', I thought. my legs slightly shaking as i slowly got up, making my way through my apartment to my bedroom. everything was bright even with all of my lights off. i sat down at my vanity, staring at myself in the mirror. through the slight shine of the exposed moonlight, i could see the red and pink flush all over my face. my phone buzzed in my sweater pocket.
i had a great time, the text read, see you tmrw for my usual? :)
i held the phone to my chest tightly, feeling the coldness of the screen through my clothes, but nothing else was cold. everything was warm because she kissed me.
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for smau… mat barzal just gushing over his girls (wife and daughters) all the time to the point where he literally doesn’t even post hockey anymore. it’s just his girls 25/8 and his teammates are always commenting and chirping at him.
love love love this idea!!! i took the name nora from my mat barzal fic and just picked the other from a baby name website. also, i dont know many islanders so theres only a few lol
honestly i kinda wanna take this and turn it into an AU lol
disclaimer: photo credit to all original owners. they were found on google/pinterest/etc. requests for blurbs & instagram edits are open!
barzal97
liked by dawson1417, yourusername, and others
barzal97 best feeling in the world.
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al_rom26 second that!
⤷ barzal97 ✌️
user1 good luck this season!!!
ny_islanders 😎
titobeauvi91 miss you brother
⤷ barzal97 miss you too! see you on the ice✌️
⤷ user2 screaming crying throwing up
mattymarts17 there will be a better feeling one day bud
barzal97
liked by titobeauvi91, bohorvat, and others
barzal97 missing this girl
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user1 since when does Mat have a gf??
⤷titobeauvi91 that's his wife 👀
⤷user2 SINCE WHEN IS MAT BARZAL MARRIED
ynbarzal miss you too ❤️
⤷user3 brb going to stalk her profile
bohorvat young love
al_rom26 yeah man you're kinda depressing when your wifey isn't here
⤷barzal97 am not
⤷mattymarts17 he's right
barzal97
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tagged: yourusername
barzal97 my wife's been upgraded to baby mama
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pagertrain did yn approve this caption?
⤷ynbarzal no she did not.
joshanderson_77 congrats guys!
user1 omg awwwww
titobeauvi91 can't wait to be upgraded to uncle
⤷barzal97 you'll have to visit us
user2 baby mama lmao love it
ynbarzal can you come make me a sandwich
⤷barzal97 I am in the next room??
⤷ynbarzal too much energy
⤷bohorvat don't question pregnant women bud
⤷user3 she's so cute omg
barzal97
liked by ynbarzal, ny_islanders, and others
barzal97 Welcome to the world Nora. Beyond thankful for my wife❤️
tagged: ynbarzal
titobeauvi91 booking my plane ticket now
⤷barzal97 ✌️
ny_islanders Congrats to the Barzal's!
mattymarts17 we're so happy for you guys.
⤷barzal97 thanks man
user2 still can't believe mat barzal is married and has a kid
al_rom26 wow, congrats guys!
ynbarzal love you and our little family <3
⤷barzal97 love you ❤️
barzal97
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barzal97 like mama like daughter
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bohorvat Holly said to bring Nora for a playdate with the kids soon
⤷ynbarzal i'll text her!
user1 she is literally living the life we all want
⤷user2 fr
al_rom27 workin on #2 yet?
⤷ynbarzal get outta here
⤷barzal97 👀
titobeauvi91 do you even play hockey anymore🙄
⤷barzal97 full time dad
⤷ynbarzal he's in dad mode
user3 🥺🥺🥺
mattymarts17 she's growing like a weed
barzal97
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barzal97 Nora is getting upgraded to big sister!
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titobeauvi91 growing your own hockey team so you don't have to play?
⤷barzal97 you know it
user1 no wayyy
⤷ynbarzal yes wayyy
ny_islanders Can't wait to see Nora as a big sis!
al_rom26 you just should change your username to "mat barzal family fan account"
⤷ynbarzal tell me about it
barzal97
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barzal97 everyone meet Rosie
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user1 girl dad!!!
mattymarts17 how's Nora adjusting?
⤷barzal97 she doesn't want anyone else to hold her Rosie so we're working on that
titobeauvi91 2 down, 18 to go
⤷ynbarzal Anthony, get out of here
barzal97
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barzal97 thought playing hockey was the best feeling in the world. turned out, it wasn't even close.
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titobeauvi91 that is so sweet... I kind of love it
ynbarzal we love you so much ❤️
ny_islanders beautiful family!
user1 literally crying
⤷user2 same omg
al_rom26 ok this is officially a mat barzals family fan account
mattymarts17 I told you bud
#hockey imagines#allies writing#nhl fanfiction#hockey fanfiction#allie answers#nhl imagines#hockey imagine#fake insta post#social media au#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal fanfiction#mat barzal imagine#mat barzal fic#mat barzal fluff
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Right in front of you - Bucky Barnes x Reader (AU)
Summary: Natasha's new boyfriend doesn't like the fact that she and her ex Bucky are still good friends. So Natasha lies and drags you into a fake relationship with your best friend. What could possibly go wrong?
words: 16.189
warngins: drinking, make- out, a bit angst?, talk about suicide (briefly, not explicitly), swearing / language// ( I think thats all, correct me if I am wrong)
A/N: fake dating trope, Miscommunication, fluff, best friends to lovers// Avengers as a chaotic group of friends// AU// English is not my first language// no beta// Gif not mine// AO3.
Relationships: Bucky x Y/N // Natasha x Bucky (previously; mention)// Natasha x Bruce (previously; mention)// Natasha x Y/N (platonic) // Tony Stark x Y/N (platonic)
I had this in my drafts since 2022, but totally forget about it. Last weekend I rewatch tfatws (Yes, the whole season I have no self-control) and god sebastian stand is one of the most handsome man alive. I revised this draft and added about 10K words. This wasn't originally planned. Sooo anyways have fun with this :) Love to all of you ❤️.
You sit on Natasha´s comfortable couch and take a sip of your coffee. Your best friend called you in the morning and asks for this catch up and said she had a level 9 Problem. So you have been sitting here for almost 2 hours. You and Nat hand already exchanged all the important news form the last few weeks, but Natasha hadn´t yet said whats her level 9 problem is. "So why did you want to talk with me so badly Nat? We have talked about everything now." you say.
Natasha sights."I messed up."
"What happend?" you ask now worried.
"It is about Rick."
Her new boyfriend. He´s a pretty nice guy, from what Nat said. But you haven´t meet him yet. Natasha dates him for 3 month now.
"What did you do?" you asks. Since are when you have to pull every word out of her nose? Nat hesitates for a moment and takes a sip from her coffee.
"Okay. Please listen to me. I know I messed up but I have a plan. And for this plan I need your help."
"I will listen."
"So, Rick and I, we talked about our friends last week and you know we had already talked about our exes. And now he knows that I am still firends with Bucky. But Rick doesn´t think it is cool that I am still friends with him." she stopps and you look confused. You don´t see a Level 9 Problem with this. Natascha and Bucky were together for a few months and that was almost 3 years ago. So why is it a problem?"Y/N I am so sorry. It was a dump idear but it was the frist thing that comes to my mind. And I was pressed for time."
"Natasha! What did you do?" you ask again, now a bit annoyed.
"I told Rick you and Bucky are together."
"You did what?" you ask shocked and a little angry. Is she serious?
"I am so sorry. But besides Bucky, you are the only single in our group. And after that Rick was fine with Bucky as my friend."
"Natasha! What a stupid idear. And what´s your plan now? We all meet Rick this weekend."
"I know, I know. I already texted Bucky, but he is still at work, he says he will call me later."
"And what do you want me to do?"
"Lie for me? Please Y/N." she looks desperately at you. As if you could refuse her something when she looked at you like that. You shigh and in her look you can see that she knows she won.
"Fine. If Bucky is okay with it, I will pretend to be his girlfriend. But Nat, for how long do you think we can lie to him?"
"Not for long, just a few weeks. And than you and Bucky can pretend that you have broken up and remain friends. So Rick can see that Bucky can be just friends with his ex- girlfriends and everything will be fine." She smiles and you sigh again. What could go wrong? Except from everything.
"Fine! But I don´t like this plan."
"I know. And I am sorry."
"Its okay."
*
You enter your apartment and close the door behind you. You are not sure if Natashas plan will work. But you are her friend, so you will help her, no matter what. Your phone rings, you fummel it out of your Pocket. Bucky. You answer the call.
"Hey Bucks what up?"
Bucky came as Natashas Boyfriend in your friendgroup, but after a few weeks he was friends with all of you, and after he and Nat broke up, they reminds friends and Bucky stays with your group. You are glade he did, you really like him. In the last years, he became your best friend. He even integrated Steve and Peggy into your circle of friends.
"Hey Y/N. How are you? Have you talked with Nat?"
"I´m fine. Yes I have. What do you think about her plan?"
"It´s stupid." he laughs. "But I said I will go with it, if its okay with you."
"I said I will help her."
"Good. Just wanted to make sure you are okay with it."
"If it helps her, of course I'll do it."
"You are a good friend. Then we will see us on Friday. Do you want me to pick you up?"
"Why?" you asks.
"Because we have to preatend we are a coupel." he says as if it were logical. And as if that were normal.
"Right." you start laughing. "It will never work."
"No probally not. But lets give our best to not mess it up for Nat."
"We can try. So you pick me up at 8?"
"I will be at your place."
"Thank you Bucky. See you at Friday."
"See you Friday Doll."
You hate this nickname, but he never listened to you when you said he should stop calling you that. After two years you gave up.
*
Friday is coming sooner than you thought. You've been stressed all week about your work, next week you have to present your new project, but you're still missing some figures from the last quarter, of course the department is lagging behind. So you had to work overtime. On the way home, your mother called you. Your grandma had another argument with her neighbors. Probably something about the garden fence. You couldn't care less. The argument has been going on for years, but your grandma is just stubborn. And she's driving your mother crazy. It took you hours to calm her down and when you finally hang up it's almost seven o'clock. And you haven't eaten anything since your lunch salad. Damn. You're going to your favorite bar tonight, but you can't go out on an empty stomach. You can't tolerate alcohol anyway, and on an empty stomach the evening would probably end over the toilet bowl before midnight. You open your fridge and sigh. Of course you forgot to go grocery shopping. You reach for your phone and dial Bucky’s number.
"Hello Doll." he answers in a good mood. "Everythin alright?
"Yes. Can you come a bit earlier and bring something to eat on the way? I forgot to shop grocerys and haven't eaten anything properly yet."
"Sure I'll do it. We don't want to repeat St. Patrick." he laughs. You grimace at the memory of the evening in which you dumped the contents of your stomach into the Hudson. "Not funny Bucks."
"Maybe not for you. I had a lot of fun making sure you didn't take an involuntary swim and end up as a corpse in the water." you hear him laugh through the phone and roll your eyes. You would like to respond with an embarrassing story from Bucky, but the man can drink like no one else. Sometimes you think he's immune to alcohol. “Is chinese okay?”
"Yes perfect. Please bring.."
"Spring rolls. Yes, I know, doll."
“Lifesaver I Venmo you the money.”
"Absolutely no way!"
"Bucky." you start, you hate it when he invites you out, but Bucky throws his money around like it's nothing. Because it's probably nothing for him. Bucky makes a lot of money with his firm.
"Don't argue. I'm your boyfriend, remember." he laughs. Oh yeah, Natasha's stupid plan.
"I actually forgot." you laugh now.
"My heart just broke." You roll your eyes, but then laugh. As if any woman could ever break James Barnes' heart.
"I'm on my way now, I'll be there quarter past." Your gaze goes to the clock. You've got half an hour, damn it.
"Okay, I still have to get ready. I will be quick."
"See you soon."
"See you soon." You hang up, quickly put your cell phone on the charging cable and sprint into the shower. You also have to wash your hair, you're really not on schedule this week. Bucky only needs 20 minutes, so you open the door for him still in a towel and with your hair half-dried. At least your Make Up is already done.
"What a sight." he laughs and lets his gaze slide over your barely covered body. You feel yourself blushing, even if there's no reason for it. Bucky has already seen you in your underwear, so the towel covers more.
"Charming." You say and let him into your apartment. He throws his keys and wallet into the small bowl next to your door and puts the take away bag on the kitchen counter.
"You know me. Go get ready, we don´t have much time. Since when have you been so late?"
You love punctuality. You think it's rude and disrespectful to make people wait for you, but this week seems to be cursed. You go back to the bedroom to get dressed.
"I've been behind time all week. Work is totally exhausting me. I have to present next week but of course nothing works out the way I want it to." You call loudly from your bedroom so Bucky can hear you as you rummage through your clothes. Of course you had also forgotten to check with Wanda and Natascha what exactly the dress code was for the evening. "Do you know what Nat or Wanda wear?"
"Of course not?"
"Crap."
"You look good in anything, so just wear somthing." he calls from the living room.
"Liar"
"Never Doll."
You pull your black dress out of your closet. It's just the right length to not be slutty. Quickly, but carefully so you not smear your make-up, you slip into the dress. You let your hair fall loosely over your shoulder, but quickly blow-dry it so that you don't look like you've plugged into a socket. You take a quick look at yourself in the mirror, yes, that would work. "How cold is it ?"
"It's summer, so not at all."
"So no tights?"
"No, no tights. Another question I've never asked myself before."
"You're a man, pants and shirt and you're dressed for any occasion." you come out of your bedroom. Bucky is sitting in your kitchen, he has put the food on a plate and has put cutlery out for you and a glass of water next to it. "You are my hero." You say, plopping down in the seat across from him.
"I know." You look at the clock, you actually have to leave in five minutes so as not to be late. You're narrowing your eyes, damn it.
"Now take a deep breath, relax and eat. Then we'll be a little late, it's not the end of the world. Besides, it's not just us, Vision, Wanda, Tony and Rick are there. Nat won´t be alone."
"Steve isn't coming?"
"Nope, Peggy isn't feeling well." You start eating.
"Still not?" you ask worriedly Peggy hasn't been feeling well for a few weeks, hopefully it's nothing more serious. When you spoke to her on the phone last week she sounded tired and exhausted. Bucky grabs one of your spring rolls and dips it in the sauce, a mischievous smile appearing on his face. "What is?" you ask confused.
"I'm not actually allowed to tell you this." You're immediately curious and lean a little further forward in your chair.
"Tell me."
"But swear you won't tell anyone."
"I swear."
"She is pregnant." Your mouth falls open, you expected everything but not this.
“I didn’t know they were trying.” Steve and Peggy have been together since high school, but neither of them have talked about having children until now.
"They didn't, it was an accident but they wanted to keep it." Steve and Peggy as parents? Funnily enough, you can imagine it. "Steve has been through an emotional rollercoaster in the last few weeks, you can't imagine it Y/N." Bucky laughs.
"And he didn't say anything to anyone?"
"No, only I know and now you. So quiet."
"I promise not to say a word."
"Good. Different topic." Suddenly he becomes serious and Bucky's look almost makes your food stick in your throat. "Nat's plan."
"What about it?"
"We should discuss boundaries."
“Boundaries?” you ask confused. What does he mean now? You actually thought you would go to the bar, introduce yourself as boyfriend and girlfriend and sit next to each other. Why do you need boundaries?
"Well, we want Rick to believe us and I think we should kiss for that. Of course only if it's okay with you." It would be a lie if you never imagined kissing Bucky. After all, he's terribly good-looking, charming, friendly, a perfect gentleman. And even if you're embarrassed and would never admit it one night or two when you were alone, Bucky as a fantasy has served you well. But he is also your best friend, your savior in times of need and your best friend's ex. Fantasy is one thing, but in reality?
"Kissing is okay with me." you say. "It just might get weird."
"Why weird?"
"I don't usually kiss my best friends. You're like a brother to me." A shadow crosses Bucky's blue eyes, but he's smiling.
"If you find the thought of kissing me disgusting..."
"I did not say that!" you say quickly. No woman on this planet would associate the idea of kissing James Bucky Barnes with the word disgusting. You are sure of that! "I just think it's weird. The others are there too." you blush at the thought of kissing Bucky in front of all your friends. What have you gotten yourself into? And all because of Nat.
“Do you want to practice?” he asks and a mischievous grin appears on his face.
"I know how to kiss."
"I'm sure you're very good at kissing. I'm just saying so our first kiss isn't in front of everyone else." That sounds like such a stupid idea that it makes oddly enough sense.
"Then let's practice." You say, putting your fork down.
"Are you ready?" he points to your plate. There's still a little food left, but you're full and it should protect you from an alcohol escapade.
"Yes." Bucky takes your plate and cutlery, stands up and puts everything in the sink. Then he leans against your kitchen counter. You sigh and stand up too. You could say you're doing all this just for Natasha, but somehow the thought of kissing Bucky makes you nervous, but in a pleasant way. You walk over to him and stop right in front of Bucky. He's a bit taller than you, so you lean your head back slightly to look him in the eyes.
"Y/N. If you don't want that, we can just cancel it. Nat would understand." He says, looking you in the eyes.
"Nonsense. It's not that bad."
"Thanks."
"Thats not what I meant."
"I know, I'm just messing with you." he grins at you. Then his gaze goes from your eyes to your lips and back to your eyes. Bucky lifts his hand and places it carefully on your cheek. Then he leans forward. His lips touch yours and you freeze for a second. But then you move your lips against his, your hand automatically laying on his chest. Bucky’s hand moves from your cheek to your neck and he pulls you closer to him. The next moment his tongue slides into your mouth and you press yourself closer to his muscular body. But then you flinch. What are you doing here? You open your eyes and see it straight into Bucky’s. His gaze sweeps over your face as if he’s searching for something. "Too much?"
"No. I was just surprised." you feel your heart thundering in your chest. You feel strange, but not bad. And it wasn't as uncomfortable or weird as you thought. It was nice.
"And weird?"
"Not for me."
"For me either. You are a good kisser."
You hit him on the chest "Jerk."
Bucky laughs. "Come on now. We're late." he then says. You quickly grab your coat, throw your cell phone and wallet into your bag and slip on your high heels. "But I won't carry you home later if your feet hurt." Bucky says as he packs up his things again.
"You're taking me home?"
"Of course. I'm the perfect boyfriend." You roll your eyes. Why does he actually enjoy this lie so much?
"Come now perfect boyfriend." You say, pushing him out of your apartment and closing the door behind you.
Even though you hurry, you're almost 30 minutes late when you get to the front door of the bar. From outside you see your friends already sitting at one of the tables. "Ready for our big show?" Bucky asks you.
"It's a good thing I was at the Theater Club."
"I did not know that." he says surprised.
"Why sould you?" Bucky shrugs. Then he opens the door and gestures for you to go ahead. "Gentleman."
"Always." You enter and as you walk through the half-full bar to the table where your friends are already sitting, Bucky place his hand on the small of your back. When you get to the table you can’t help but smile. You hadn't seen Wanda for at least 2 weeks, Vision even longer than that and apart from a phone call last weekend, you've barely had any contact with Tony. It's unusual for your friend group, but at the moment you're all kind of busy doing something. That's how it is when you grow up.
"Hey guys." you say happily. "I'm so sorry we're late."
"That was 100% my fault." Bucky says.
"Our two lovebirds." Tony says and winks. You ignore him and turn to the only strange face at the table.
"And you must be Rick?"
"Yes, hello, Nice to meet you." he holds out his hand to you.
“I’m Y/N.” You say, shaking his hand. "That's my boyfriend." That sounds strange.
"James." Bucky shakes Rick's hand too, but you can tell by the way his muscles tense that he's shaking it unnecessarily hard, despite his smile. Wanda slides to the side so you and Bucky can sit on the bench next to her. Vision looks between you and Bucky, confused.
"Did I miss som...."
“Rick, I want something to drink, then we can bring something for Bucky and Y/N too.” Natasha says quickly and practically pushes Rick off the bench. You hear the panic in her voice.
“Bring something for me too.” says Tony, downing his half-full beer in just a few sips and then fumbling his credit card with grand gestures out of his pocket to give it to Natasha. Yeah, not strange at all or anything. Rick goes to the bar and before Natascha follows him she gives Wanda a quick, slightly angry look.
"Sorry." she whispers, Natasha disappears after Rick. "I totally forgot to tell you." She then says to Vision. "Bucky and Y/N act like they're together. Because Rick doesn't like the idea of Nat and Bucky being together."
"What?" Vision looks between all of you, confused.
Tony starts laughing. "If you say it out loud it sounds even stupider."
"No shit Sherlock." you say.
"Bucky and Natasha used to date?" Oh poor Vision, sometimes you forget that he hasn't known you that long and that sometimes Wanda doesn't think about all the details. Not because she means anything bad, but because she is simply forgetful.
"Long before your time." Tony says in response to Vision's question
"Three years ago, but only briefly."Bucky says now.
"Then what's Rick's problem?"
"We do not know." you say. "But that's Natascha's thing, she asked us to do it and we're playing along."
“Red flag nonetheless.” says Wanda. Tony nods.
"Please! This is Natasha's first relationship since Bruce. We're meeting Rick for the first time today so please guys be nice. And stop your prejudices and red flags. We don't really know him." You're briefly afraid that the mood will change because you mentioned Bruce, but Tony just rolls his eyes and then agrees with you
"You're right. And we're always nice."
"That's a lie." Wanda says and you join in her laughter. A moment later, Nat and Rick come back to the table. A mojito is placed in front of you and you grin at your best friend.
"Thanks."
"Thank Tony, that was on his card."
"You make me poor."
"You're a billionaire heir." Bucky interjects and takes the beer from Natasha.
"Really?" Rick asks as he sits back down in his seat.
"Ever heard of Stark Industries?"
"The weapons company?" Tony rolls his eyes.
"Former weapons company." and you can tell from his look that Rick has already been written off by him. You kick him under the table. "Be nice." You whisper, gladly that Rick is talking to Vison. Tony rolls his eyes, but then clinks his new beer with everyone, including Rick. You all catch up on what's going on. Your conversation briefly turns to Peggy and her mysterious illness.
"She works in a kindergarten, where you're always catching something." you say quickly. Bucky grins sideways at you. You're already excited to see how your friends will react to Steve and Peggy's baby news. Rick is just talking about his work when you suddenly feel Bucky's hand on your thigh and you flinch.
He leans in slightly and whispers in your ear. "Relax, you're ruining our show." You smile and act like he said something funny, and when he kisses your cheek you don't flinch.
“Y/N, when is your presentation?” Wanda asks, after she is done talking about her and Visons weekendtrip to Jersey.
"Tuesday and Wednesday I'll probably get fired."
"So bad?" Nat asks worriedly.
"No, not quite that bad, but it sucks."
"You're welcome to start at my company on Thursday." says Tony. "I still need a new assistant."
"The worst three years of my life." Natasha says and then lowers her voice to sound more like Tony. "Romanoff cancel my meeting tomorrow I have a hangover. Romanoff I don't want to eat with Musk. Romanoff where is my watch?" everyone except Tony laughs.
"Pepper never complained."
"You were in love with her the whole time, of course you were nicer."
"Exactly." Natasha supports your point.
"You worked for Tony?" Rick asks confused. "I thought you were a lawyer."
"Yes, before I even went to university. And I'm not really a lawyer yet. I'm still at university. Speaking of which, Y/N, you won't believe who called the office." Nat works alongside university in a renowned law firm. Bucky got her the job.
"Who?" you ask confused.
"Your granny."
"No!" Embarrassed, you hide your head between your arms on the table. Bucky laughs next to you and strokes your hair, his warm hand touching the skin on your shoulder and strangely, you get goosebumps at the feather-light touch. You quickly sit up again and his hand goes over your back and rests on your thigh again. "What did she want?" you ask, reaching for your second mojito.
"Sue her neighbor again."
"God I really need to call her tomorrow."
"I already explained to her that that doesn't work." Nat says.
"I'm sorry she's annoying you so much."
"Oh, it's not that annoying. Plus, she sends me Christmas cookies every year, so I'm happy to put up with a little complaining."
The evening continues and at some point it's Bucky and you's turn to get new drinks for everyone. As you walk through the crowded bar you notice the alcohol in your veins. When you get to the bar, you lean against the counter, Bucky puts an arm around you. It's not unusual for him to touch you or hug you, but today he's somehow more affectionate than usual. Not that you mind. You don't know that about him at all, not even with his girlfriends that he has every now and then for a few weeks.
"You're putting on a good show." You say after he orders another round of cocktails and tequila for you. After this you better drink some water.
"Do you think he believes us?"
"Why shouldn't he?"
"I don't know, he looks at me strangely all the time."
"You're also his girlfriend's ex."
"That was three years ago." he rolls his eyes.
"I know, but toxic masculinity. And the way you shook his hand wasn't exactly nice either."
Bucky grins. "I couldn't help it." then he rolls his eyes. "He's looking at us."
"Seriously?" you want to turn around to look, but Bucky quickly puts his hand on your cheek, forcing you to look at him.
"Not so obvious." You giggle at your own stupidity.
"Is he still watching?"
"Yes. Ready for a show?" Before you can ask what he means, he leans forward and his lips are already on yours. You're briefly surprised, but then you return the kiss. His hand moves to your back, resting just a little above your ass as he presses you against him. Maybe it's the alcohol, or the fact that you want to put on a good show for Nat, or the fact that Bucky is really good at kissing, but this time it's you who slip your tongue into his mouth. Bucky grins and your tongues start a little battle that he wins. Your arms fold behind his neck and you press your body closer to him. You feel your heart beating a little faster, probably because of the alcohol and because you're making out in the middle of a crowded bar. You've never done that before. Bucky pushes himself towards you, so you have to back away slightly and now your back is pressed against the bar, but it's not uncomfortable. His hand moves a little lower and is now actually on your butt. His body is completely pressed against yours and your nails are carefully scratching his neck. Your lips move perfectly against each other. He's really damn good at kissing. You break away from each other, breathless. Bucky rests his forehead against yours. "That was hot." You laugh briefly.
“Is he still looking?” Bucky turns his head slightly to the side and his gaze goes over to your table.
"No."
"Good." Nevertheless, neither of you makes any effort to put distance between you. Your shoes put you almost at eye level with him. Bucky grins and then kisses you again, your lips only touching for a brief moment, but this kiss somehow feels much more intimate than your previous make-out session. A smile creeps onto your lips without you being able to prevent it. Definitely due to the alcohol. The bartender brings you your drinks and the tequila shots with lemon and salt on a tablet. Bucky takes the drinks and you take the shots, then you go back to your table.
"And I thought you'd disappear home." Tony greets you with a grin.
"You are just jealous." you say.
"He's not jealous, he's horny. How long has Pepper been with her parents in Florida? 1 week or was it 2?" Bucky says. Tony grimaces.
“18 days,” he then answers.
"Ohh you're counting the days you little puppy."
"Shut up Romanoff and drink more." Tony reaches for the shot glasses and puts one in front of everyone. You clink glasses, lick the salt from your hands and then drink the tequilla. You quickly bite into the lemon and are happy that the tequilla taste is gone.
"The toilets are where?" Rick asks, Natasha had probably told him that you were here often.
"At the bar on the right and down the stairs." Vision replies. Rick nods, stands up and heads in that direction.
Your friends' eyes are immediately on you.
“What was that?” asks Wanda.
“Even I almost believed you.”
“Why do you look so good while making out?” says Tony. Bucky kicks him under the table. "That was a compliment."
“We wanted to be convincing.” you answer, blushing and taking a sip from your mojito. The fact that Bucky's hand is on your bare thigh again and his fingers are drawing small circles doesn't really help to remove the blush from your cheeks.
"You were convincing."
"A little too convincing." Tony wiggles his eyebrows. "
"Where is your fantasy goes now hm?." says Vision. Nat and you grimace.
"I dont want to know it."
"Like I'm some disgusting stalker or something. Your new boyfriend was staring like a creep."
"That's not true." Wanda defends Rick, but you can tell by the look in her eyes that she agrees with Tony.
"He's just worried about Bucky. Because we used to be together. And you're not really nice to him either."
"I hardly spoke to him."
"Exactly. And what was that about James?"
"That's my name?"
"No one calls you that."
"I've known the guy for less than two hours and you came to me and said he thinks I'm shit. Do you really think I'm acting out here like I am best friends with him." The two bitch at each other. You reach for Bucky’s hand to calm him down a bit.
"I didn't say he thinks you're shit. Just our friendship."
Bucky presses his lips together and tilts his head slightly. "That's a bad move on his part."
"He's just insecure."
"It's not my problem if he has complexes." then Bucky bites his lip and you know he almost said something mean.
"It's enough." Vision chimes in. "We're here to get to know him. And so far he's quite nice. A good guy Nat." he says in his diplomatic voice. Does he also talk to his students like that?
"Thank you Vis. Also for being so open with him." her gaze goes back to Bucky.
"I've said enough."
"He comes back. Laughs and acts like I said something funny."
"Everything you say is hilarious Tony."
“I love you too Y/N.”
The evening continues with endless conversations and bad jokes. It doesn't even take 10 minutes and Bucky and Nat have forgotten their little bickering. You drink another shot with the others, but when Tony orders the third round you are out and prefer to continue drinking your cocktail. Bucky doesn't leave your side the whole evening, every now and then he presses a kiss on your lips or cheek and when you lean against his shoulder he immediately puts his arm around you and strokes your shoulder with his fingertips. Why is he so good at playing this fake relationship? But actually it doesn't matter. It feels good somehow. You miss it sometimes, the light touches, brief glances and secret whispers. But after your last relationship ended in heartbreak a little over a year ago, you're staying away from men. Wanda and Vision are the first to say goodbye and after a while Tony also starts to yawn now and then. Nat and Rick have separated themselves from you a bit and are making out in the corner, which makes Bucky roll his eyes.
"I'm leaving before those two eat each other over there." says Tony. You giggle silly. Unfortunately, you completely forgot that you actually wanted to drink water and the alcohol went to your head.
"We should going home too." Bucky then says.
"Hey. Nat, Rick." The two break away from their kiss and look at you. "We are heading home now." says Tony.
"Alright. It was nice to see you." says Natasha. “Y/N can I call you tomorrow morning?”
"Yeah, just call when you're ready."
"It was nice meeting you guys." says Rick.
"Yes, I thought so too, hopefully we see you soon again." you answer.
"Yeah, it was nice." Tony also says and nods at him. Bucky doesn’t say anything but helps you get up. Tony leads the way through the crowded bar towards the exit and Bucky walks behind you, his hand is on your back again as he carefully pushes you after Tony. You notice how your feet are starting to hurt in your shoes and you're glad to be home soon. A look at your phone tells you that it's almost 2 A.M. Oops. You didn't want to stay that long. Outside you breathe in the warm night air.
“Taxi or walk?” Bucky asks you, he has his arm around you again and you lean against him.
"Taxi please my feet are hurting. Tony will you drive with us?"
"You live the other way, dear." laughs Tony.
"That's right. But you know, I only can the subway network, not cars."
"We can drive to my place, that's in the same direction." Bucky suggests.
"Uhh, so you take her home with you. Your relationship goes pretty quickly."
"Shut up ass." Bucky says and hits Tony lightly, but he just laughs.
"Let's be honest. You looking good together."
"But we're not together. Just best friends" You said, laughing at Tony's statement.
"Well bro, that must have hurt."
"Dude. Leave it." you don't see his look, but from Tony's reaction you can tell that Bucky is looking at him more angrily than amused. Tony nods and starts typing on his phone, a few minutes later a taxi pulls up. You get in and Bucky says his address, the driver nods and drives off. It's late or early, depending on how you look at it. But New York never sleeps, so there is still traffic on the streets. Although less than during the day. You shift a little in the seat until you're comfortable and listen to Tony and Bucky's conversation. The ride doesn't take long, and when the taxi stops in front of Bucky's building, you rummage through your bag for your wallet.
"I'll cover it." Bucky says, but this time you remain stubborn.
"No." you take the bill out of your pocket and give it to the driver. Then you say goodbye to Tony, and when Bucky raises his hand for a farewell handshake, you notice that he had his hand on your thigh the whole ride again. Why didn't you notice this before? Did you really drink that much? You shake your head and climb out of the taxi. He probably got so used to it all evening that he didn't even notice. The taxi continues to take Tony home. Bucky takes his key out of his pocket and you go inside. The elevator ride to Bucky's floor is silent, but not unpleasant. A few minutes later you are standing in his apartment. You slip off your shoes and flex your feet.
"You see, you didn't have to carry me home." you say.
"Lucky me." Bucky grins at you and then helps you out of your jacket, his fingers running over your shoulders. "Are you tired?" He asks as he hangs up your jacket for you. You throw your bag under the wardrobe.
"A little bit." you answer. Bucky also takes off his jacket and shoes. Then he comes to you and you lean against him. He takes you in his arms and strokes your hair. You breathe in his familiar scent. "Do you think we convinced him?" you ask quietly.
"I guess. What else could we have done?" Bucky laughs briefly. You shrug your shoulders.
"You were really clingy today." Bucky pushes you away a little to look you in the eyes.
"Too much?"
"No." you say quickly. "No, not at all. I thought it was kind of nice. Just unusual."
"Unusual?"
"Well, I don't know you like this at all."
Bucky shrugs and smiles. "But nice?"
"Yes. I sometimes miss the closeness you have when you're in a relationship. Do you know what I mean?"
"Yes, I know what you mean. I thought it was nice too. You kiss well." You start to laugh and want to pull away from the hug, but Bucky holds you by your waist.
"Don´t." he whispers. Suddenly you become aware of the closeness between the two of you. But you're always close? Why do you suddenly have this tingling sensation under your skin? You feel the alcohol in your veins. You smell the alcohol on his breath. And the next moment his lips are on yours again. You don't know which of you kissed whom. You do not care. This kiss is different, there is no one here that you have to act for. There is no one here for you to practice for. His lips on yours are soft, warm and comfortable. Buck’s hand cups your cheek and his thumb gently strokes your cheek. You put your arms around his neck and press yourself against him. His tongue carefully pushes into your mouth. Alcohol, adrenaline and desire rush through your veins. The kiss quickly intensifies, your tongues battle with each other, Bucky wins. His hand moves from your hip back to your ass and when he grabs it you moan. You never realized how much you missed being touched like that. You break away from each other, breathless. You look into his blue eyes, you don't know what you're looking for, but all you see is desire.
"Doll." his voice sounds rough and dark.
"Bucks." You say and he swallows. You don't want to think, you just want him. So you lean forward again, capturing his lips with yours. Your tongue finds his. Bucky moans softly into the kiss and you swear you've never heard such a hot sound in your life. Your whole body burns with desire for him. The next time you break apart, you don't hesitate. You take his hand and pull him towards his bedroom. You know his apartment as well as yours. You know that behind the door a large bedroom and a neatly made soft bed await you. And that's exactly where you want to go. The bedroom door hasn't fully closed behind you when Bucky quickly threw you onto the bed. You giggle as the mattress bounces slightly, but the next moment Bucky is on top of you and his lips are on yours. You scratch his neck lightly with your nails and he moans softly again. His lips move to your neck and he places kisses there. Immediately you have goosebumps all over you, you tilt your head to the side to give it more space and pray that it doesn't leave any red marks. But you actually don't care. His hand slides under your dress. You push your body towards him.
"Take it off." He says breathlessly in your ear and then kisses your earlobe. You sit up slightly and allow your dress to be pulled over your head. You're lying in front of him in just your underwear, but it doesn't make you uncomfortable. Maybe because you drank too much, maybe because Bucky is your Bucky. "You know you're beautiful." He says, running his hands over your body. You notice the blush rising to your cheeks, but at the same time you want him to keep touching you. You want to feel his hands all over your body. You don't answer him but just kiss him again. This time your hands go under his shirt. You feel the muscles of his back under your fingers. You push the t-shirt higher. Bucky removes his lips from yours and pulls the t-shirt over his head. You have to swallow at the sight of his defined body. You know he's ripped. You've seen him without a shirt countless times, but still. God this man is handsome. Your hands move up his torso, caressing his neck and cheeks. Then you smile and pull him back down to you. His lips automatically find yours for an intense kiss. You feel his body against yours, his weight on top of you and as you wrap your legs around his body you feel his hardness against your core through his jeans and you moan again. This is much better than your imagination. But that's not a fantasy. This is reality. His hands are wandering over your breasts in a very real way. Bucky's hands. Your best friend's hands. Through the lust and the alcohol, a thought suddenly arises. This is your best friend! Your Bucky. You're crossing a line and when that happens you can't go back. Fantasy is one thing but reality is another. You feel panic rising in you and your body tense up. You want to push him away and say stop, but you don't have to. Bucky pulled away from you and looked into your eyes. His eyes are worried over your face.
"Y/N? Are you okay?" he asks worriedly now. You shake your head, your throat is dry and you´re searching for the right words, but your brain is still stuck in a lust-drenched rigidity. Bucky sits up completely, pulling away from you and rubbing his face with both hands. Then he takes a deep breath. You finally manage to speak.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize for anything."
"We can't Bucky. Oh shit." you pull your legs up to your body, trying to hide your half-naked body from him. Suddenly you feel uncomfortable. You feel tears welling up in your eyes. You're totally confused. Your head can't keep up with your feelings.
"Take it easy. Take a deep breath." His vocie is soft, but worried. You do as he says and then look back at him. You feel guilty and confused. Bucky gets up from the bed, turns to his closet and takes out one of his t-shirts. “Would you like to get dressed?” You nod. He hands you the t-shirt and you pull it over your head. The familiar smell of his detergent and the soft fabric on your skin calm you and you can finally think clearly again.
"I'm sorry." Bucky suddenly says now and you're confused again.
"What?"
"I'm sorry for harassing you. You're drunk and I took advantage of it. I thought you wanted it too."
"I wanted it! Bucky. No! Don't think like that. You didn't take advantage of me. I could say the same thing, you're drunk too." You are silent for a moment.
"Are you all right?" he asks, you can't quite interpret his look, he looks kind of sad, but that doesn't really fit.
"Yes, you?"
"Yes." he tries a smile, but it's a little crooked.
"It might be better if we go to sleep." you suggest. The situation makes you terribly uncomfortable. God, what have you done?
"Yeah, probably. Should I sleep on the couch?"
"Why? Do you want to sleep on the couch?" you've slept next to each other a thousand times. At some point you even developed the habit of cuddling a little before going to sleep.
"No. I just thought in case you needed some distance."
"I never need distance from you. If you want, you can sleep in the bed. Or I can sleep on the couch if you want." It's a strange atmosphere between the two of you, you both want to please the other without either of you really knowing what you want. Bucky sighs, slips out of his jeans and then puts on a fresh t-shirt. Meanwhile, you lie down under the blanket and are careful not to watch him change. Bucky slides into bed next to you.
"Sleep well, doll."
"Sleep well Bucks." Bucky presses the remote control on the nightstand and the light goes off. You lie in the dark and stare at the ceiling. Your thoughts revolve around the whole evening. About your kisses, about the touches. You felt good. You were happy. And it was nice. But that's how you always feel when you're with Bucky. Why is it so different this time? Because you kissed? But that was just for Natasha. That meant nothing. You almost slept with each other. But that's only because you've been making out all evening. Of course, this doesn't leave you unscathed. And you're drunk. You suppress a sigh and close your eyes. Tomorrow everything will be the same as before. Everything will be exactly the same as always! You fall asleep with this thought.
When you wake up, the bed next to you is empty. You turn onto your stomach, bury your face in the pillows and take a deep breath. You don't really feel rested, and one look at the alarm clock on the bedside table tells you why. It's not even 10 A.M. Why is Bucky already awake? You sit up and listen into the apartment, maybe he's taking a shower or something. But instead of the sound of water, you hear quiet voices. Bucky is talking to someone. Steve! You get out of bed faster than you thought you would.
"Bucky, do you really think this is a good idea?" You can hear the two of them talking muffled through the closed door.
"We help Natasha."
"Of course. You're so helpful and not at all selfish." Steve sounds sarcastic. But maybe you're just imagining it, after all you can only hear him faintly through the door. You quickly slip on one of Bucky’s sweaters. It is long enough to reach over your butt so you don't end up only in your underwear in front of Steve and then come out of the bedroom.
"Morning." You say as you step into the kitchen.
"Good morning Doll."
“Good morning Y/N.”
"Morning Steve, what are you doing here?"
"I brought coffee over. My run goes through Buckys street. I didn't know you were here otherwise I would have brought you one too."
"It's fine. Not like Bucks doesn't have a portafilter machine." You turn to the coffee machine and press the button so that the grinder starts grinding the beans.
“You are allowed to touch the holy coffee machine?”
"This is not a coffee machine, this...
"Is an Italian portafilter machine. We know." You and Steve interrupt Bucky at the same time. Bucky sighs but has to suppress a laugh.
"By the way, Tony filmed your smooch yesterday." Steve taps on his phone and the next moment you see you and Bucky making out at the bar. You feel yourself blushing.
"How childish."
"I think we look hot." Bucky says, pushing you by your hip to the sideand, taking the portafilter from your hand to clamp it into the machine and fill it with the freshly ground coffee. You roll your eyes.
"What's Rick like?" Steve then asks to change the subject. Bucky groans and rolls his eyes.
"Annoying."
"Nonsense. He's okay, I think."
"You think?"
"It was one evening and Nat likes him." the next moment your cell phone rings, Natasha. "Creepy." you accept the video call and in the next moment her face appears on your screen. "Good morning Nat." You say, leaning against the kitchen counter while Bucky finishes making your coffee and then fills your cup with oat milk. You know he always buys them especially for you and that makes you smile. God he's just the best.
"Good morning Y/N. I just got home."
"I am not that far yet." you turn the screen once so Nat can see Steve and Bucky, both of them giving her a quick wave. Then you turn the screen over again.
"How surprising." she says without meaning it. " But good I wanted to thank both of you. You really put on a good show yesterday."
“Sure thing, Nat.”
"It wasn't that bad." you kick at Bucky, but he pulls his leg away so you only hit the air.
"You can tell Rick in two weeks that we broke up." you then say back towards the phone.
"About that. He suggested we meet again on Wednesday for dinner. Like a double date." You roll your eyes.
"Nat!"
"I know, but I didn't know how to say no without lying. I don't want to lie to him."
"You should have thought about that beforehand." Steve says now. You give him a dirty look, it's none of his business.
“So Wednesday is fine?” You swipe away from the phone call to look at your calendar, but so far there's nothing scheduled for Wednesday other than work. "For me, yes." Bucky also looks at his cell phone calendar and then nods. "For Bucky too."
"Okay perfect. We were going to this new Italian place around the corner from me."
“That super fancy restaurant?” you ask.
"Yes, exactly." You sigh. Super fancy also means super expensive. A visit there would probably use up your entire going out budget for the month.
"Okay. See you Wednesday then." you say anyway.
"Until Wednesday. And thank you again. I really owe you one. Love you."
"Love you. Bye Nat."
"Bye." Bucky and Steve call and than you end the call.
"I invite you, of course." Can Bucky read your mind? You blush slightly, but then nod.
"Thanks."
"Not for that, Doll." You don't actually earn less, but a lot of it goes towards renting your apartment. Natascha lives in one of her parents' apartments, so she doesn't pay rent and her parents also cover her tuition fees. Bucky earns more than you anyway and none of you can come close to Tony. It's not embarrassing that you don't have as much money as your friends, it's just annoying sometimes. You take a sip of your coffee. Buckys machine really is a thousand times better than that old thing in your kitchen.
"So guys. I have to go again. Peggy is waiting at home." Steve pushes his chair back and stands up. "It was nice to see you Y/N. Next time we'll be there again so we can chat longer."
"It was nice to see you too Steve. Love to Peggy."
"I will tell her." He says goodbye to Bucky with their signature handshake and then disappears from the apartment. You're alone with Bucky, you're sober and you suddenly remember your make out session in his bed you had yesterday. Damned. How embarrassing.
"I'm going to take a shower and then be on my way, don't want to bother you any more."
"You don't bother me, Doll. Ever." Bucky says. You try a smile, put down your almost full cup and escape to the bathroom. Maybe you can walk away from this awkward conversation. You're never embarrassed in front of Bucky, he's your best friend. You go through the ups and downs of your life with him, but yesterday. That was different and you don't want to think about it. Damn you were about to fuck him. You briefly go into the bedroom and open the wardrobe. You spend the night here so often that you have your own clothes here, you quickly get some fresh clothes and then disappear to the bathroom. As the hot water flows over your body, you take a deep breath. You try to sort out your thoughts. Everything was good between you right now. It wasn't strange. Everything as always. Or was it just because Steve was there? Should you address the situation yesterday? Or just stay silent and pretend everything is fine? Your mind wanders back to last night, to the feeling of his hands on your body. You quickly shake your head. You really can't use that now. You finish your shower, dry yourself off and change into your fresh clothes. You wrap your hair in a towel and as you step out of the bathroom, Bucky is standing directly in front of you. He was waiting for you.
“I know you Y/N and I know you want to run away, but we need to talk about yesterday.” You swallow. Damned! Were you drunk enough to pretend you didn't remember? No, unfortunately not. "Kitchen. There's breakfast." He says, nodding his head in that direction. You look at the front door, maybe you should just run. You realize how ridiculous this idea is and you admit defeat. You slowly follow him into the kitchen and sit at the table where Bucky has prepared breakfast. You grab a roll and Bucky gives you a fresh coffee. Then he sits down opposite to you. "So yesterday..." he begins, his voice sounds emotionless. You know that voice, that's his working voice. And you know he has a speech prepared. But you don't want to hear it. Everything in you is now reluctant to hear these prepared words. So you interrupt him.
"I think we should just forget about it. We were drunk, made out all night, so it's clear that we're kind of horny." He furrows his eyebrows, you can see that he doesn't like that you interrupted him, but he nods.
"If you want it that way." Now you're confused. You don't like the sentence, something is strange. But you can't quite put your finger on it.
"What do you want?"
Bucky opens his mouth, but he doesn't say anything. He takes a deep breath, looks at his plate and when he looks up again he smiles at you. But you know him too well. That's not his normal smile. It seems forced.
"Let's forget it." he then replies. Even though it was your idea, somewhere deep inside you are hurt. You quickly push the feeling away. You just want it to be like it used to be. It should be like yesterday morning. Before you made out.
"Good." you agree. The rest of breakfast passes in silence. Then you and Bucky clean up the kitchen. Your goodbye is kind of stiff and as you head home you still feel like something isn't right. You would like to call Natasha. She is your best friend. Normally you would call her now and talk to her about every second of last night. But Bucky is her ex-boyfriend. Yes, it was a long time ago. Yes, they're both obviously over it. Still, something inside you is resisting. You don't call her.
You don't hear from Bucky all weekend. That's not normal. But you don't call him either. Did you really ruin your friendship? God, what have you done? You just wanted to help Natasha. You spend the whole Sunday thinking about whether you should call her or not. But you don't. You know that Sundays are completely reserved for her studying and you don't want to disturb her. You're also embarrassed by the situation. Did you handle it wrong? Should you have listened to Bucky's speech? What is he really thinking? For the first time in almost three years, you feel like you don’t know what Bucky is really thinking. You don't feel like doing anything this Sunday. Bored, you lie on your sofa and stare at the switched off television. You tried to watch something, but it didn't interest you. You aren´t hungry all day, so you don´t eat anything ecept an slice of bread. Are you so old that a hangover lasts two days? Well actually you didn't drink enough to even have a hangover. You didn't even have a headache yesterday. You keep reaching for your phone, thinking about calling Bucky. But you don´t. You miss him. It feels like you had an argument. But you don't have. Or? Why can't you just call him? Because you're afraid it's weird. But it's weird already. God. What have you done? On Sunday evening, a few tears roll down your cheek before you fall asleep.
Monday morning comes too quickly and when your alarm goes off you briefly consider if you should call in sick. But that doesn't work. You still have way too much to do. So you get up, get dressed and head to work. You're just slumping into your office chair when your phone beeps. Bucky wrote you a message. Your stomach tightens. What's that supposed to mean? This is your best friend! Pull yourself together. You pick up your phone and open the message. "Call later? Work until 5." "Gladly." You answer, but you don't know what you want to say to him. What does he want? Since when has he been asking for phone calls? Usually he just calls. God you need to talk to someone. But you're so embarrassed by the whole situation. You've long since ruled out talking to Natasha about it. Wanda? No, she wouldn't really have any good advice for you. Wanda has fallen in love with every guy she has kissed so far. She loves the dream of true love. And with Vision she lives out this dream. Peggy? No, she's more Bucky's friend than yours. You sigh as you realize your last option. Tony. You need more friends. Nevertheless, you reach for your cell phone and call him.
"What gives me the honor?" he answers it after a short moment.
“Do you have anything planned during your lunch break?”
"My whole life is a lunch break." You already regret calling him and sigh. Tony must have heard you because his voice suddenly becomes serious. "What's up?"
"I have something to discuss."
"And why not with Nat?"
"Not an option."
"You're making me really curious. So lunch break. I'll pick you up at your office."
"Thanks Tony."
"See you later." After the phone call, you try to concentrate on your work but things are going slowly. You're happy when Tony writes you a message and says he's standing in front of the building. You quickly grab your things and your jacket, say goodbye to your colleagues for your break and go to the elevator. Tony knows well not to come inside your office. People treat you differently once they know you're friends with him. You noticed that clearly at your last job. As you leave the building, Tony is standing in front of you with a to-go box from his favorite Italian restaurant. You walk a little way to the nearby park, sit down at a fountain and start eating.
"So why did you want to talk so badly?" he asks curiously.
"It's because of Bucky."
"What about Bucky?"
"We kissed."
"I know. I filmed it."
"No. I mean after. In his apartment. In his bedroom. Half naked." Tony starts laughing.
“You guys fucked?”
"No! Almost, then we stopped and it's been weird ever since."
"Have you talked about it?"
"Just briefly. He had prepared a speech but I didn't let him finish and then we said let's forget it, everything is as usual. But I haven't heard from him since then, until this morning. He wants to call later."
Tony sighs and thinks a moment. “Did you stop or did he?”
"I. Why?"
"Then it's quite clear. Y/N. If a beautiful woman like you pushed me off the edge of the bed, I would also have a bruised ego."
“You think this is an ego thing?”
"I am very sure." You are relieved. So you haven't lost your friendship with him after all. "He'll probably only need a few days and then everything will be as before. Don't worry so much."
"Easier said than done. You know I'm an overthinker."
"And a people pleaser."
"Thanks." You say, rolling your eyes. Tony winks at you.
"How was it?"
"What?"
"Your almost fuck of course."
"Tony!" You say, slapping his arm.
"What? You wanted my advice and I just want my fair reward."
“Oh, your advice now comes with conditions?”
"Always have."
"And you wonder why no one asks you for advice. Oh yes, that was because of your character." Tony looks at you in shock for a moment and then starts laughing out loud.
"Good one. I'm proud." You rolled your eyes again. "So do I get the spicy details now or not?"
"No."
"It was worth a try." he then laughs.
"I hope everything goes well on the phone call." you then say and chew on your noodles.
"I'm sure. Otherwise, sit down together at the weekend and discuss everything calmly. Making out isn't the end of the world."
"Well we have to have everything sorted out by Wednesday at the latest."
"What's on Wednesday?"
"A fake double date with Nat and Rick."
Tony rolls his eyes. "I can't stand the guy."
"You just don't like him because he's not Bruce."
"That's not true!" Tony's look turns sad and you know he's thinking about his old lab partner. But he was so much more than that. Tony's best friend, Natasha's first love. You shake your head. You don't want to think about what happened to him, neither of you saw it coming. From one day to the next he was gone, and everything was different. You regret saying his name. Tony takes a deep breath.
"This is far too serious for me." You reach for his hand and try an encouraging smile. Tears gather in Tony's eyes, but he quickly blinks them away. "I miss him."
"I miss him too." You say. Tony takes a few deep breaths and then manages to smile again. He removes his hand from yours and claps his hands.
"You have to go back to the office." he then changes the subject.
"Are you sure?" Now you don't want to leave him alone.
"Yeah. I'll be fine. But I want an update tonight, your drama is much better than mine." You roll your eyes slightly, but you're glad that his low mood has been averted.
"You will get it." you say, getting up and throwing the empty food box into the nearest trash.
"Don't worry so much. Everything will be fine. Trust me, I'm a genius."
"But that doesn't mean you can see the future."
"Right, I can't do that yet. But I'm a man, just like James. Give him a little time until he realizes that his ego is getting in his way and everything is as usual." You want to believe him. And why should he be wrong?
"Thanks Tony. That really helped me."
"You´re welcome." He says, smiling genuinely at you. You hug each other goodbye and you head back to the office. After the conversation you can concentrate much better, you even manage to prepare everything for your project presentation. And that without overtime. You come home on time and put on comfortable clothes. You've just sat down on the couch with a cup of coffee when your cell phone rings. Bucky. You quickly answer your cell phone. "Hello."
"Hello." and then you both remain silent. Tears come to your eyes, maybe everything won't be okay after all. You hear Bucky take a deep breath. "I'm sorry. This is weird. It's weird between us." he speaks faster than you are used to from him.
"Yes, it is."
"I didn't want it like that. Never. And I know that in my bedroom was shit and that we didn't talk properly was shit too. I fucked up."
"No. When someone screwed up than it is me. I didn't let you finish on Saturday and left as soon as I could. I know it's only Monday but I miss you Bucks. It's so unusual for me not to talk to you for so long."
"It's unusual for me too. I miss you too." A ring at the front door makes you jump. "Will you open the door for me?" You quickly jump up from the sofa and open the door for him. You're so relieved to see him that you fall straight into his arms. You know that the last time you saw each other was only two days ago and that this dependence on your best friend is neither normal nor healthy, but you don't care about that at this moment. You're just happy to be able to hold him in your arms again. This time it doesn't feel strange, it feels right. You let him into your apartment and he throws keys and wallet into the small bowl on the dresser next to your door. Everything as usually. Then he puts his jacket aside and you sit together on your sofa.
"You wanted to say more to Saturday right?" you finally manage to gather enough courage to face the situation.
"Yeah, I thought about something before Steve came."
“Do you still want to say it now?” Bucky looks at you for a while, he seems to be thinking. Then he begins to speak.
"I wanted to say that I don't want our friendship to be affected by this little make out session. That nothing is as important to me as our friendship." he stops, takes a deep breath and looks around the room. But then his eyes find yours again, his look is serious. "But that's a lie." A hot burning sensation forms in your stomach. What? Before you can say anything, before you can even understand what he said, he's already talking again. "It's a lie Y/N. I've known this for a while. I don't know how many times I've talked to Steve about it. It's probably getting on his nerves terribly. But whatever, that's not the topic right now. I I really wanted to come here and tell you that everything is as usual but I can't. I don't want to. I don't want to keep lying. Shit. Kissing you, holding you in my arms, being allowed to touch you in front of everyone, This is all I've ever wanted. You're all I've ever wanted. I only had this for one evening but I can't go back. I'm driving myself crazy to think that none of this was real on your part. I love you. I love you for so long. I know you don't feel that way but I can't carry on like this. I'm sorry." You sit on your sofa and stare at him in shock. Did he really just say that? Your thoughts start racing. Everything has changed since the weekend and yet everything is somehow the same. You think about how you feel being around Bucky. Nobody makes you feel so comfortable. With him you can be completely you. You enjoy the closeness you have with him. Every hug. Every time you watch a movie together and cuddle. Every time you fall asleep in his arms. You can talk to him about anything. You can talk about the same thing a thousand times and he wouldn't complain. When you're with him you don't have to pretend. He saw you at your lowest points and helped you out. You saw him at his lowest points and built him back up. You always thought he was your soulmate, but platonic. Maybe your relationship isn't as platonic as you thought. You didn't see him for 2 days, thought you had lost him and felt like your whole world had collapsed. Have you ever felt that way about one of your friends? No of course not. You almost laughed at your own stupidity. How could you not realize that you love him? You lean in and place your lips on his. The feeling is so strange and at the same time so familiar. Bucky kisses you for a moment and then pulls away.
"Don't please. Don't do this because you think you have to." he swallows a few times, tears glistening in his eyes.
"I love you." You say. Now it's him who looks at you in shock.
"As your best friend?" he then asks uncertainly. Uncertain. Also a word that you wouldn't have associated with Bucky until today.
"No. I thought so. I thought you were my best friend. But that's not true. You're so much more. I love you Bucky and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I'm sorry we had to go through that drama. I'm sorry it took a fucking fake relationship for me to understand that I love you." you laugh and at the same time tears stream down your cheeks. How could you be so stupid? Now it's Bucky who leans in and kisses you. You wrap your arms around him, close your eyes and enjoy the kiss. He starts to laugh in the kiss and you laugh too.
"We're really stupid." He says, stroking your cheek.
"Yes." you take his hand and intertwine your fingers with his. Your whole body is flooded with happiness. “So no more fake relationships?”
"No. No more fake." he kisses you again and then pulls you onto his lap in one quick movement. You put your arms around his neck and hug him.
"I love you." you repeat, how could you ever not say it to him?
"I love you."
Bucky stays with you, but you don´t get any further than the couch. You're too busy making out and laughing at your own stupidity.
"Steve will be happy, now I won't bother him anymore."
"I should probably apologize to him." You say while scratching his neck. Bucky is laying across your couch with his head in your lap. You've been like this thousands of times, but this time it's different. It's much better.
"I could have said something sooner."
"Why didn `t you?"
"I was afraid of losing you. I felt like a schoolboy falling in love for the first time. At first I thought it was just a phase, but it became more and more. When we kissed in the kitchen on Friday, I almost lock you up here and never let you out again." You start laughing and roll your eyes.
"Charming."
"Always." Your phone rings and you both jump. To be honest, you've forgotten that the world outside your apartment still exists. Bucky turns his head to the side to see who is calling you. "Why is Tony calling you so late?" He sits up and looks at you from the side, there is something in his gaze that you don't yet know. Jealousy.
"Why is my friendship with Tony suddenly a problem?" you ask confused, you've never seen him jealous before.
"It´s not " he says quickly. "I was just wondering why he was calling you so late."
"Are you jealous?"
"Yes." he says openly. "I know I shouldn't, but I am."
"You've never been jealous before."
"I was jealous of every man near you. I just didn't let you see it." he confesses to you.
“Then why now?” you ask, you're not mad at him because he's jealous. It flatters you a little to be honest.
"Because you're mine now." he says smiling. You grinned at him, leaned in and kissed him. Your cell phone stops ringing.
"I went on a lunch break today and asked him for advice because of you. I was afraid I would have destroyed our friendship. But he said you only had a scratch ego because I didn´t sleep with you and everything will be back to normal in a few days."
"He was wrong."
"Yes he was. He wants an update from our phone call." You have to laugh at the thought of how everything has changed in just a few hours, everything has become so much better.
"Then call him back." grins Bucky. You pick up your phone from the table and press call back. The next moment Tony's face appears on your phone screen.
“And was I right or was I right?” he asks into the phone without greeting. "Has Mr. Ego recovered?" Before you can answer, Bucky slides into the Screen.
"Mr. Ego?" Tony winces.
"Dude. You know I hate jump scares." You start laughing again. “What are you doing at Y/N’s house so late?” Why does he have to be so nosy? You and Bucky exchange a quick look. And you know you think the same thing. Why lie? Why keep something that feels so beautiful and so right secret?
"I'm spending time with my girlfriend." Bucky replies.
"GIRLFRIEND?" Tony screams into the phone and you hold the phone away. You didn't expect such a sudden outburst of emotions from him.
"Yep." you say. Tony starts laughing uproariously.
"I didn't expect that."
"Always good for a surprise."
"I'm happy for you and I said you look good together. "
"Thanks Tony."
"Then I won't bother you any further."
"We haven't told anyone else yet." You say quickly before Tony tells everyone the news.
"I'm quiet, don't worry, lovebirds."
*
Tuesday morning you would like to call in sick again, but this time for a different reason. Bucky kisses your cheeks as light as a feather, his beard tickles slightly and his hands stroke your hips under your t-shirt. Or more likely under one of his old t-shirts that you wear to sleep. "I have to get up and take a shower. Otherwise I'll be late." you laugh but kiss him again. You don't want to get up. You would much rather spend the whole day here in bed with him.
"Then be late."
"Then I'll be fired."
"Doesn't matter." his lips find your neck and he kisses you. You bite your lip to keep from moaning. You gather all your self-control and push him away from you.
"I have to work." He grimaces, sighs, and then rolls off of you.
"You're right as always." You quickly climb out of the soft bed before you change your mind and head towards the bathroom. You definitely need a shower after last night. A look at the clock tells you that you have still enough time. Thank god.
"Are you coming?" you call into the bedroom.
"What?"
"Showering." You hear him jump out of bed and the next moment he's in the bathroom with you. His lips on yours again. You start to laugh, but when his hands go under your sleep shorts you moan.
*
You stand in front of your closet and tilt your head to the side. Then you look back at the picture Natasha sent you of her outfit and back into your closet. You don't quite have the right outfit, so you'll be a little underdressed. You get dressed, do your make-up and your hair. Just as you're done, the doorbell rings. A happy smile spreads across your face and your heart flutters. Bucky. You quickly open the door.
"You look great." You say, he is wearing a dark shirt and pants. But he's rolled up his sleeves and you have to swallow when you look at his muscular underarms. When did you become a horny teenager?
"That's my text Doll." He says and kisses you. "Here for you." he pulls out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. You beam at him.
"Thanks. That wouldn't have been necessary."
"It's our first real date. Unfortunately we have to spend it with Rick, but still." You hit him on the upper arm. He and Tony could really open a we-hate-rick club. And that even though they don´t really know him. He kisses your cheek. You take the flowers and look for a vase in the kitchen. You fill it with water and place the flowers on the table in the living room so that they get enough light. Then you turn in a circle in front of Bucky so he can see you from all sides.
"And are you going out with me like that?" He grabs your hips and pulls you close.
"I would love to stay here with you like this." You start laughing, biting your bottom lip and looking at him with wide eyes.
"And then?"
"Stop it." he pushes you away from him, laughing. "But something is missing." he then says seriously again. You turn to the mirror and examine your outfit and make-up. Does he not like it? Maybe other shoes? Or another make-up? "I can hear you thinking." you turn back to Bucky, he is standing in front of you with a mischievous grin. "That's missing." He pulls out of his trouser pocket a silver chain set with small sparkling stones.
"Oh Bucks. No. I can't accept that." you say. You don't want him to give you anything. He's already taking you to an overly expensive restaurant today.
"Yes you can." He comes behind you and pushes your hair to the side to put the necklace on you. His hands then stroke your bare shoulders and he presses a kiss to your shoulder blade.
"It is too much."
"It's not. Otherwise, consider it a gift for your promotion." You start laughing.
“I didn’t get promoted.” Your presentation went really well yesterday and your boss put you in charge of the project. Normally you are only responsible for the preparation and then have to hand everything over. This is a great opportunity for you. Of course Bucky was the first person you called afterwards.
“You get more money?”
"Correct."
"And more responsibility?"
"Yes."
"Sounds like a promotion to me."
"But my job title remains the same."
"Formalities." You sigh but smile at him. You are so full of happiness that you can't believe it yourself.
"Thanks Bucky. For the flowers, for the necklace. For you. Just thank you."
"You don't have to thank Y/N. You make me so happy."
"You make me happy." You kiss him and fold your arms behind his neck. Bucky smiles against your lips. Then he breaks away from you.
"Come on now, Doll. Otherwise we'll be late."
"You're right." You say, turning around and reaching for your bag. Bucky slaps your ass lightly in the next moment. You gasp in mock outrage. "Stop it." He clicks his tongue and grins.
"Don't pretend you didn´t like it." You roll your eyes, laugh, and then head for the door. How grown up. You meet Nat and Rick in front of the restaurant, so Bucky came to you with his car, he parked right in front of your apartment and of course he has a parking ticket stuck to the windshield. He takes it off as he walks around the car to open the door for you. You collapse into the comfortable leather seat and Bucky throws the ticket to the others.
"At some point they'll take away your driver's license."
"Nonsense. I pay my traffic tickets diligently." You roll your eyes and he starts the engine. "And even if I do, you can drive me around."
"I don't have a driver's license." You've lived in New York your whole life. So why get a driving license?
"I know." he merges into the traffic and you arrive at the restaurant on time. You reach for the door handle, but Bucky lightly pecks your side. "Wait." He gets out, comes around the car and opens the door for you.
"Gentleman."
"Always. I'm just the perfect boyfriend." He really is. You started to worry if things would be different between you now, but they aren't. He's still your Bucky except he's also your boyfriend. Bucky hands the key to the valet-parking and you look down the street to see where Nat and Rick are. You feel yourself getting nervous. You haven't told Nat about your relationship with Bucky. You've only been together for three days. Still, something like that is actually something you tell her straight away. But he is still her ex-boyfriend. It seems forbidden to you. Your best friend's ex-boyfriend is normally absolutely taboo. You're sure she won't be mad but still. It makes you nervous. Bucky places a hand on your back. "What is it?"
"I didn't tell Nat." He knows exactly what you mean, his eyebrows furrowing.
"Because you're unsure if it'll hold?"
"No!" you say quickly. "No, not at all. It's just you're her ex." Bucky rolls his eyes.
“Hardly worth mentioning.”
"I know, I know. Still, I have no idea why I tink like that. I want to tell her. But I haven't had the chance yet. And now I can´t because Rick is with us. I'll tell her tomorrow."
"Take all the time you need, Doll." he kisses your cheek and smiles. Then you see Natasha and Rick come around the next corner. Your best friend looks stunningly beautiful as always. But her face looks a little tense. She doesn't hold Rick's hand either. The two walk stiffly next to each other. "Looks like a crisis." A mean grin appears on Bucky's face. You hit him lightly in the stomach with your elbow. "Ouch."
"That didn't hurt."
"It could have ."
“But it didn’t.” you suppress a grin.
"I'm sorry you had to wait." Natasha greets you and pulls you into a tight hug. Then she hugs Bucky too while you greet Rick with a smile and a handshake. Bucky just nods at him.
"No problem, we just arrived." you say. You go inside the restaurant and, thanks to your reservation, you are taken straight to a table. Bucky pulls the chair back for you and you grin at him as he sits down next to you. He immediately grabs your hand and you interlace your fingers together. Natasha and Rick sit across from you and the waitress brings the menus. You notice that there are no prices on your menu and you're kind of glad that you don't know how much this costs.
"How was your presentation?" Nat asks.
"Good. Really good. I can lead the project until the end." you answer her, feeling a little proud of yourself.
"That's great Y/N. I'm so happy for you."
"Thanks." Natasha smiles at you, suddenly her eyes go to your neck. Did Bucky leave a hickey? No he didn't. You checked as you put on your dress. The necklace. Nat knows all your jewelry so she knows it's new. But she doesn't say anything. You continue to talk. It's much quieter in the restaurant than in the bar on the weekend, so you get to know Rick a little better. With each of his answers, Bucky seems to likes him less and you also find it a little difficult to find similarities between him and Nat. He has other hobbies, isn't interested in environmental protection like Natasha is, and he is showing off a little too much for your taste. But Natasha must like him, not you. You notice a tense atmosphere between Nat and Rick, but maybe you're just imagining it. Before dessert you excuse yourself to the toilet.
"I'm coming with you." says Natasha. Bucky gives you both a pleading look. You press a kiss to his cheek.
"Be nice." you whisper silently.
"A new necklace?" Natasha asks when you reach the toilets.
"Yes from Bucks."
"He gives you jewelry?" she asks, surprised and confused.
"Yes, because my presentation went so well." She doesn't believe you. Of course not. You don't believe yourself. You desperately want to tell her, but now is neither the right time nor the right place. You both quickly go to the toilets. "What about you and Rick?" you ask as you wash your hands. Nat rolls his eyes.
"So obvious?"
"Yes."
"We argue a bit. But that's normal." She tells herself, you notice that immediately.
"Yes, it is." you still agree with her. You wish her that she can finally be happy again. And arguments in a relationship are normal!
"What do you think of him?"
"He's nice. I've spoken to him a bit more now than I did at the weekend."
“Just nice?”
"Well, yes. Very nice. But it is only important what you think." You go back to your table, from far away you see Bucky and Rick having a staring contest. Bucky doesn't even blink.
"Bucky hates him." Natasha says and sights.
"He doesn't know him."
"And he doesn't try to get to know him." You don't know what to say because she's right so you just sigh. You come back to the table and you immediately reach for Bucky’s hand again. He smiles, but doesn't take his eyes off Rick. How grown up. You feel Natasha kick Bucky under the table. He doesn't flinch, but he looks over at her and smiles.
"Who wants dessert?" he asks without making a face and waves the waiter over. Natasha's eyes cast daggers at him. You bite your cheek to suppress a laugh.
You complete the last half hour of the dinner and as you sit in Bucky's passenger seat you breathe a sigh of relief. Dinner was tiring. Rick is exhausting.
"I'll be honest, I hate him." Bucky says and puts on his turn signal. You sigh.
"He won't become my favorite person." you half agree with him. The car starts moving and you press the button to roll down the window. The warm car air mixes with the even warmer city air and you blow a strand of hair from your forehead. Bucky looks at you and smiles.
"You're beautiful."
"Look at the street." You say, but his compliment gives butterflies in your stomach and makes you blush.
"To me or do you want to go home?" he asks.
"To you." you answer him. "Or do you want an evening alone?"
"I don't know if I'll ever want an evening to myself again when the alternative is an evening with you."
*
The next afternoon you stand nervously outside Natasha's lecture hall. It's her last one for the day, you know that. You got off work early today, went to university and bought bad coffee for you and Nat at the street stand. You definitely have to tell her today. The necklace made her suspicious, you know that and you want to tell her. Why should you be afraid of her reaction? You know yourself that it is irrational. The doors open and a bunch of students stream outside. You recognize Natasha's red head of hair straight away and start waving. When she sees you she is surprised. You didn't tell her you were coming to pick her up. She comes to you and you hug.
"Hey Y/N. What are you doing here?" she asks as you hand her the coffee, which is probably cold by now.
"Picking you up." You leave the building. Natasha is skeptical, you can tell by her look.
"What's bothering you?" you ask as you make your way towards her apartment.
"What makes you think something is bothering me?" you ask.
"You were a bit strange at dinner and now you're picking me up from university?" You sigh. Why does she know you so well?
"Something happened." Natasha looks at you worried. "On Friday." you don't really know how to start. You can't find the right words. You sigh. There's no point in talking around it. "On Friday night when I was at Bucky's we kissed and almost slept with eachother." Natasha furrows her eyebrows and then starts to laugh.
"God Y/N, you look like you just told me that my grandma died. It's all good. Did you think I was mad? Not because of that. Bucky and I broke up years ago." You're relieved to hear that, but you haven't said everything yet. "If you want to sleep with him then go for it. From what I remember he's really good." Nat puts an arm around your shoulder and grins at you from the side.
"I know." She stumbles in her movement.
"Y/N. Tell me the whole story! Now." she demands. Now you don't know if she's mad or not. Her face reveals nothing. You sigh and tear off the patch.
"We talked about it briefly on Saturday and I said I wanted to forget it. Bucky was weird and we didn't talk at all on Sunday. I wanted to call you but I know you're studying on Sunday and I was so embarrassed and scared that you're mad because he's your ex.."
"If you call him my ex-boyfriend again I'll scream. I'm over it, he's over it. We're friends!" She interrupts and you bite your lip.
"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you."
"You're always apologizing for something. But you haven't said for what yet."
"Yeah, I know. I... I.... Oh fuck it. Bucky came over on Monday and confessed to me that he loves me and then I realized that I love him too and now we're together. A real couple. A real relationship." you talk so fast that you're gasping for air by the time you finish. Nat just looks at you for a moment. Fear rises within you. Is she angry after all?
"Yes. Oh my God. How could I be so blind. Of course."
"What ?" you are completely confused. Natasha pulls you into a tight hug. She doesn't care that you're standing in the middle of the sidewalk and people are bumping into you and cursing at you.
"I was thinking. How could I not notice. You're both my best friends and I didn't realize you were into each other. I feel stupid."
"Well, I didn't notice it myself." You say, shrugging your shoulders. "I just thought Bucky and I were really good friends." Natasha starts laughing and you join in. "You are not mad?"
"No. Not at all. I'm happy for you. And for him. Really."
"Thanks Nat. I was really scared." Nat tilts his head slightly and sighs.
"I'm always your best friend. No matter what happens." You smile at her. "Come on, we'll be at my place in a moment and then I want to hear every little detail about this love confession. It must have been really good." You laugh briefly and then let her drag you along to her apartment.
*
Natascha's message comes on Friday afternoon as you are leaving your office and looking forward to a relaxing weekend. You're planning on going to your grandma's with Bucky tomorrow morning. Also because, unlike you, he has a car and you don't have to take the train. And of course because you want to introduce him to your grandma as your new boyfriend. Your mother would be there too. Natasha's message changes your plans. At least when it comes to leaving early. "Girls' night. Today I have vodka and ice cream. Nothing else." You furrow your eyebrows and know that something must have happened. Voda and ice cream is Nat's recipe for broken hearts. You quickly answer her that you will be with her in 2 hours. Then you dial Bucky's number.
"Hey doll."
"Hey Bucks. I have to cancel our DVD night."
"What happened?" he asks, slightly worried.
"Nat demanded a girls' night .An ice cream with vodka problem."
" Sounds serious."
"I don't know yet. Is that okay with you?"
"Of course, totally fine. We've seen each other every evening this week, now it´s Nat's turn. Should I pick you up tomorrow morning and we'll drive straight to your grandma's?"
"Sounds perfect. Thanks Bucky, you're the best."
"I know. Have a nice evening. I love you."
"I love you." The words come so easily from your lips that you wonder how you couldn't have realized that you love him. God you are so stupid. You hang up and head home. There you put on some comfortable clothes, pack a few things and head straight back to Natashas apartment. When you arrive, Peggy opens the door for you. You look at her surprised and pleased.
"You live." you grin and throw your arms around her neck. She laughs and presses herself against you.
"I missed you too."
"Are you feeling better?" you ask and have to suppress a grin because you know exactly why she was “sick” for so long.
"Yes, much better. Thanks." You put your bag down and walk through the long hallway to Nat's living room. She has already pushed the couch aside and laid out blankets and pillows in front of the huge television. Wanda sits on the floor next to Natasha. You greet them both with a hug and then collapse next to them.
"I ordered you a spinach pizza." Peggy says as she sits down next to you.
"Thanks. What happened Nat?" Your best friend wrinkles her nose. She has no make-up on and her eyes are bloodshot. She had cried.
"Rick and I broke up." You and Wanda exchange a quick look after Nats words. Then you turn to her.
"Oh what a shame."
"I'm sorry for that."
"You fit together so well."
"Fucking liars! None of you liked him and Peggy didn't even know him." she starts laughing and then crying. And then both at the same time. You quickly hug her and Wanda and Peggy also wrap her arms around her so it becomes a group hug. Natasha cries for a while and then takes a long sip from her vodka bottle. The smell alone makes you sick. Nat takes a few deep breaths. "Now it's proven Bruce was my last love." she says sadly.
"No! Nat. He was your first love but definitely not your last." you contradict her.
"Yes, exactly." agrees Peggy.
"But then why didn't it work again?"
"Because Rick was an ass?" Wanda suggests. "
"He just wasn't right for you."
"But at some point the right one comes along." Peggy adds.
Natasha looks at all of you and then smiles. "Thanks." She says and then wipes away her tears. "Enough crying about Rick."
"Exactly men are not worth our tears." you say. Nat laughs briefly.
"It doesn't sound honest coming from you. You're in love head over heels."
"Nat!"
Wanda looks at you in surprise, but you know from Peggy's grin that she already knows. Steve is such a gossip girl.
"You have a boyfriend? Since when and who?" Wanda asks.
"Since Monday." you answer, smiling. "Bucky." "
I knew you were too convincing. Best friends never make out like that." she exclaims. You start laughing.
"We're drinking now." Natasha decides and holds up the vodka bottle. Wanda reaches past her for a few glasses and juice. Unlike Nat, none of you like straight vodka. Natasha shares her bottle of vodka with you and when she hands the cup to Peggy you swallow. Oh no. .
"I can't." says Peggy.
"Why not? It's girls' night."
Peggy takes a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."
"WHAT?" shouts Wanda.
"Oh my God."
"How surprising." You say, looking to the side because you can't suppress a grin.
"Are we happy?" Natasha asks uncertainly.
"Yes, we are happy. We are very happy." Peggy replies, laughing. This time it's her who gets a group hug. "And Y/N don't pretend. Bucky has known since day one and I'm sure you've known since day two. You suck at lying." Peggy says after you break away from the hug and lightly pushes you on the shoulder.
"He kept quiet until last week. I swear."
“So just juice for Peggy,” says Natasha and makes her another glass. "We'll toast anyway. To the first love and the last love." You toast and drink. To first love and last love. A nice toast actually.
*
You sprint out of your office. You're way too late and you hate yourself for it. But you couldn't leave earlier, your project is going well but a few things had to be finished today. You are responsible, so you take personal care. As you walk through the streets you rummage through your pocket for your cell phone. You actually wanted to go home after work, but then you would be even later for the dinner with your friends. You meet in 10 minutes and you are still 30 minutes away from the restaurant. You call Bucky.
"I just left the office." You say breathlessly as he answer the call.
"I thought so, I'm already on my way to the others. Should I come pick you up?"
"No, no. Then you will drive past the restaurant, I'm just a little late. But I'll hurry up."
"Take it easy, Doll. Take a deep breath. Being late isn't the end of the world."
"But it's rude." "
I bet you you'll get there before Tony and because he and Pepper invited us out you'll be on time."
"It doesn´t work like that." you laugh, but your steps slow down a little.
"It works exactly the way we want it to. Now breathe in and out deeply." You do what he says. "Better?"
"Much better. Why are you so perfect?" Bucky laughs quietly.
"I've waited for us for so long. I'm doing my best now." Your heart flutters at his words.
"You're perfect. The perfect boyfriend. I love you."
"I love you too. I'll see you soon, Doll."
"See you soon." Unfortunately, when you arrive at the restaurant, Pepper and Tony are already there. You are the last and the only one still wearing your work clothes. "I'm so sorry guys. I was stuck at work."
"It's okay Y/N. Don't stress. It's nice that you make it." Pepper smiles at you. She only came back two days ago. That's why you're eating together this Thursday. And this time you are complete again since a long time. You hug Pepper.
"Good to see you." You say and greet the others before you sit down next to Bucky and press a kiss on his lips.
"Hey Bucks." you say.
"Hey, Doll. See, I say being late isn't a bad thing."
"Why do you act like you're together when Rick and Nat have broken up?" Vision asks confused and looks between you and Bucky.
"Oh shit, I forgot to tell you." Wanda says, slapping her hand on her forehead. You all start laughing. Yes, maybe everything is different now, but somehow the same.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky#bucky barnesxreader#bucky barnes headcanon#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barns x you#natasha romanov#nataschaxbucky#natasha romanoff x bucky barnes#Avengers#black widow#the winter soldier#the falcon an the winter soldier#au#fakedating#avengers au#Bucky Barns#mcu fanfiction#marvel mcu#mcu
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