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novacqnes · 1 year

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may i request a fic for ellie williams x fem!reader where ellie hasn't come home from patrol and the reader's worried to the point where she's crying but then eventually they both reunite, and turns out ellie has been planning for it so she proposes to the reader 😭 i'm a sucker for angst with a fluff ending, and maybe semi smut at the end, i'm sorry if that's too much 😳

don’t ever leave me // ellie williams

warning: brief mentions of blood, angst, smut, scissoring, fingering, top!ellie

pairing: ellie williams x fem reader

a/n: done and done, thank you for the request 🫶🏾

“what do you mean she isn’t back yet?”

the words felt like hundreds of speeding trains bustling towards you. they echoed throughout your mind tauntingly, as you stood paralyzed by dina’s news. not a single person had seen ellie since 10 am that morning and it was now over 8 hours later. you wanted to be calm but it was simply too late for it.

ellie could wander but this time it felt different- she would’ve told you, or at least said something if she’d planned on being out for long. yet she was gone before you could even say goodbye.

your stomach turned with nausea, causing bile to steadily rise within the back of your throat. you cupped your hand over your mouth to suppress it, but there was no hiding the growing dread plaguing your mind.

“she told me she’d catch up i just thought—“

“well you thought wrong.” you hissed, forcing dina’s cheeks to burn a deep red hue.

with each passing second the possibility of ellie being hurt or even dead grew exponentially. there was a reason for patrol and partners held a purpose. without them you were much more susceptible to being attacked, going missing or the thousands of other threats that lay in the deep woods. so although it wasn’t dina’s fault entirely you couldn’t help but take your anger out on her.

jesse began, “we can go out and look at first light—“

“first light? ellie could be hurt for all we know i’m not leaving her out there.”

the thought of your girlfriend alone in the woods, possibly clinging to life brought you to tears. they brimmed your eyes, burning their way through as you fought to contain them, refusing to lose it in front of your friends. however, rather quickly, dina and jesse morphed into blurred figures, proving that you were failing.

your heart ached and chest burned, it grew increasingly more difficult for you to breathe. you didn’t want to know life without ellie, you couldn’t bear the thought. you wanted to feel her skin, kiss her over and over again, hoping she knew just how much you loved her. you needed her.

“screw it— i’ll look for her myself.” you trembled, worry seeping into your voice.

the two protested but you refused to spare them a glance, turning sharply on your heel. the minute your back was turned the tears came pouring, staining your cheeks. the air inside of your lungs grew scarce and less frequent, sending a sharp thumping pain to your head— but you had to keep walking.

with each step the pain was magnified, traveling all throughout your body. your limbs felt as if they weren’t yours and you couldn’t control them. your legs were heavy, making movement more ever more excruciating. stumbling a bit further your left leg gave out and then your right until your entire body collapsed.

the hard pavement scraped your knees leaving blisters and budding bruises all over your legs. despite it all you couldn’t move any further, succumbing to horror that ellie might truly be gone. your face fell into the palms of your hands, offering you slight comfort as you sobbed, overcome with sorrow and apprehension.

after what felt like hours, a long set of arms wrapped around your weak form, pulling you into a warm embrace. the person smelled of firewood and maple, reminding you of ellie’s aroma every morning. the calming lull of their heart beat eased you out of your nightmare prompting you to look up and see their beautiful face.

ellie’s auburn hair was pulled back but a few strands fell across her forehead. her creamy skin was tinted with red, deepening at the apples of her cheeks. sweet freckles decorated her face bringing you relief that you’d never experienced before— it was like a dream.

“how—how are you here?” you whispered, cupping your hands over her face, needing to ensure this was reality.

“i had to take care of something….why are you crying?”

the words couldn’t make it to your lips fast enough, forming jumbled clauses that ellie was just barely able to make out.

something along the lines of, “dina said— patrol— you— missing.”

frowning, she brought her thumb up to your tear stained cheeks, wiping them clean. she didn’t bombard you with excuses, instead she brought your head to her chest allowing you time to just cry. your body shook against hers, allowing ellie to feel the pain that she’d caused you, and it broke her.

“i’m sorry.”

you mumbled, “i’m just happy you’re okay, if anything would’ve happened to—“

“but nothing did. i’m here with you now.”

gently helping you off of the concrete, she placed soft kisses to your forehead, kindly reassuring you but you were unable to let go. her touch was the only true confirmation that ellie was there with you. and you feared that in letting go she wouldn’t be.

she slipped an arm around your waist as you clutched onto her shoulders, painfully raising to your feet. when the two of you looked down you noticed the fresh crimson blood that stained your pants. more guilt mounted onto ellie’s chest as she leaned down to check, pulling herself away from you momentarily.

“no—no, i’m fine.”

“y/n, you’re bleeding,” she sighed.

“ellie, i’m okay, we can take care of it later.” your voice faltered, planting more seeds of doubt in ellie’s mind but she wasn’t going to fight you. standing back up she returned to your side aiding you towards the direction of the woods.

“where are we going?” you hummed.

“i need to show you something—i promise it’ll make sense once we get there.”

there were few noises in the woods besides the cracking of the leaves under your shoes and the sounds of nearby insects. it was dark, and you were only able to make out the shadowy gray figures of the trees that loomed over you. this should’ve been frightening, it mirrored a scene straight out of a nightmare, but you could hardly focus on it because your mind kept going to ellie.

she seemed to glow, her eyes were brighter than ever and her skin beaming with color. her scent lingered, reminding you of blissful mornings with her. whenever she’d leave early for patrol she’d wake you with pancakes or waffles and the aroma of maple syrup. they served as your fondest memories together.

however, the longer you walked the more antsy ellie got. her grip on your waist tightened and the thump of her heart rapidly increased. she pointed her flashlight up ahead, casting a dim light over a brown cabin, nearly disguised by trees.

“dina and i found it a little while back, it’s pretty old but i was able to fix it up these last few weeks.”

as you neared the cabin you found that it was beautiful. the trail leading up to it was clear with thick logs covered in green moss on each side. lively green plants bloomed from the rich soil, creating a mini garden on the side of the house. the cabin was a light brown made up of oak logs, a brick chimney and a few small windows.

“….you did all of this?”

“for the most part, although i had dina help with the inside—“

“wait a minute— she knew?” you sputtered, making a mental note to apologize to both her and jesse later.

“yeah…listen y/n, i didn’t mean to scare you, i just wanted it to be nice.”

she took your hands in hers leading you towards the door. once she opened it you caught a whiff of maple coming all the way from the kitchen. as she led you inside you saw scented candles perched in every corner, illuminating the room.

in the front part was a cozy emerald couch and in front an old projector. towards the back was a white hammock just a few feet away from the kitchen. inside was a wooden counter, small sink, pantry and a round picnic table with a flower vase in the center. towards the opposite side of the room lay a red door to which you assumed the only bedroom in the house.

you were too shocked to notice that you’d let go of ellie’s hands, but you weren’t fearful because this had to be real.

“i don’t understand— is this for us?” you whispered in utter shock, pulling her towards you. your heartbeats joined in unison as she closed the gap, brushing the strands of hair from her face.

“it is if you want it to be.”

there was more— there had to be. her eyes were heavy with fatigue but jubilant, she’d been up for god knows how long preparing all of it for you, but she wasn’t done.

“i have to ask you something,” she whispered, her voice lighter than ever.

ellie reached into her back pocket, producing a black box as she knelt at your feet. thousands of frenzied butterflies filled your stomach along with love, exultance and euphoria wrapping you in a cloak of warmth. looking into away ellie’s eyes you could simply drift as she gazed back in a way that nobody had before.

“i think the first thing that brought us together was our need to be with someone. and for most of my life i’ve felt like that choice wasn’t up to me, loneliness was always the default— but for the first time i’m making the decision for it not to be. y/n, i want to spend the rest of my life, waking up to you, coming home to you and loving you.”

she held open the box, inside lay a silver round cut halo ring.

“will you marry me?”

the words rang in your mind, each time growing louder than the next. it was beautiful— she was beautiful. there were hundreds of things you wanted to say and do but it all boiled down to one word.

“yes.” you joined her on the ground, ignoring the stinging pain from your knees, you cupped her face in your hands.

“r-really?” she stammered, her heart beating faster than ever.

“yes, yes,” you nodded, “i will marry you ellie.”

joyful tears brimmed your ears as she slid the band over your finger with shaky hands. she then slipped a finger under your chin tilting your face up to meet hers as she kissed you with great fervor. her lips were soft and sweet— and with the entire cabin to yourselves you had no reason to hold back.

her calloused hands traveled to the hem of your shirt, pulling it off your body with deep desire. with that gone she snapped off your bra, exposing your bare chest. ellie brought her lips to your tits, cupping her palms over them as she sucked feverishly, drawing deep moans from your lips. releasing your nipple with a pop, her hand slid down to your jeans, toying with the buttons as she looked up at you with pure lust.

“god ellie…i need you,” you purred.

“you have me.”

gently pushing you onto the couch she peeled your pants off, briskly running her hands over your legs. before going further she moved back, allowing you to watch as she tore each piece of clothing off. joining you on the sofa her hands slid down clothed cunt, circling her fingers around the sensitive flesh.

“this where you you want me?” she smirked, applying just enough pressure to tease you.

“mhm…”

she slipped a hand under the cloth using her finger to rub your clit. it felt perfect but you needed more, and the desperation was evident in your voice.

“please fuck me—“

upon your request a digit entered your dripping hole as ellie used her thumb to play with your clit. the sight of you begging fueling her even more. she sped up, applying even more pressure to your g-spot sending a shiver up your spine.

ellie knew that she could bring to the brink of an orgasm but she wanted to experience it with you. once your moans got a bit louder she knew you were right where she needed you and removed her hands from your core. before you could protest she removed the only thing that separated you, your underwear. spreading your legs a bit further she worked her way in between them, brushing her pussy against yours.

the contact was warm and heavenly, you clung onto ellie’s legs slowly moving your hips to her rhythm.

“shit that feels so good….” she groaned, leaning up to sloppily kiss you. deepening the kiss her tongue swirled over yours, moving your lips in unison. you couldn’t get enough of her touch pushing your hips against hers with much more vigor.

you were so sensitive but ellie saw no end in sight. she adored the feeling of your wet pussy against hers chasing after the same end result. she was entranced by the obscenities that fell from your lips, they sounded like music to her ears.

“fuck me harder.” you whimpered, digging your nails into ellie’s skin as you grinded against her desperately. your thrusts became more and more sloppy with the increase in tempo, leaving you absolutely delirious.

nearing a euphoric high ellie brought you closer to her fiery skin, clutching onto you with all of her might. she could feel herself succumbing to it.

“close?” she mewled, pressing her eyelids closed as her entire body went still.

the words became caught in your throat and your vision blurred. the only thing you could register was a sweltering buzz under your skin that mirrored ellie’s. all you could do was shiver helplessly as the pleasure grappled your body, sending you into absolute oblivion.

she pressed delicate kisses to your temple giving the both of you time to come down from your high together. the room was mellow and quiet, you hadn’t been there very long but it already felt like home.

you fiddled with the silver band on your finger, glancing up at ellie’s clouded eyes. they were brighter than you’d ever seen them, so radiant. you wanted to savor this moment for as long as you could, her skin against yours, her vulnerability and beauty— as well as the warmth and serenity of your new home. you never wanted to be without it.

“hey el?”

“hm?” she gazed down at you, a small grin spreading across her lips.

“don’t ever leave me again.”

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cyberels · 3 months

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sunset//sunrise

𖦹彡⋆｡˚ wanted to write a lil smth about farm ellie x reader but like after ellie leaves for santa barbara so uhhh enjoy 🫶 reader is basically dina lol

(also it doesn’t match the aesthetic so i don’t wanna add the spotify thing but please listen to need 2 by pinegrove while u read teehee)

masterlist

PALESTINE MASTERPOST

HOW YOU CAN HELP

the sun was setting, lighting the sky up in an array of pretty colors.

if it had been a normal day, you’d be dragging ellie outside to look at the sky, taking in the view with her by your side.

but today wasn't normal and things hadn’t been for a long time.

today you were alone and the colors outside no longer held your interest.

you packed your belongings into one bag and took only the necessities, letting go of all that you’ve been holding on to for way too long.

you packed up ellie's belongings as well, arranging them neatly for her.

a polaroid picture you found on the dresser, a picture of you and her, made you pause for a moment.

if you could, you would go back to that day, go back and give her the colors in the sky if that's what she wanted.

if that could’ve made her stay.

now the sky was dark and it was much too late for that.

you leave the polaroid on top of ellie’s belongings, hoping it serves as a reminder of what she lost.

tomorrow you would wake up, soak in the sunrise by yourself, and try to find the peace you deserved.

and if ellie made it back, she could take her belongings.

you'd be okay either way.

#max writes ☆#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #the last of us #tlou #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #wlw #wlw angst #ellie williams angst #sorry if this is gross bad i havent wrote anything in a while

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fetchen · 1 month

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karen shetty wouldn’t mind being in love with a girl if it didn’t mean being in love with gretchen wieners.

gretchen wieners wouldn’t mind being in love with karen shetty if it didn’t mean being in love with a girl.

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mirconreadzztuff22 · 3 months

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- “𝙼𝚛. 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚗”

Powder.

Jinx.

She caused more trouble than she could ever imagine.

If only she didn’t set off that bomb that day.

If only Sevika jumped in front of you instead of Silco.

It still haunts her to this day.

The sudden flash of blue, the shocked expression on Silco’s and your’s face.

She wishes it could have been her instead of you. Now, she has no one. Not someone she’s willing to be with, anyway. No one could replace your voice, your touch, your kisses, your smile, your love.

Being at The Last Drop didn’t feel the same without you, so she moved to a different space to play with her buddies.

When Silco brought Powder in, Sevika was still upset, not only for the lost of her arm, but because she lost you. She didn’t know Jinx was the culprit; well, until it slipped out. Sevika was livid. She lost one of the only people she loved, from some kid?

She wanted to beat the shit out of Jinx, but for obvious reasons, she never did.

All Sev could do was visit your gravestone, think about you and the past memories you two had. She tried to go to Babette’s to drown these feelings, but they never went away. The women there weren’t even close to being like you. After so long, she stopped and just continued working and working.

No matter how much Sevika masked her feelings, without a doubt, she missed you. She always has. No amount of masking could deny this.

If only things were different.

#arcane #sevika arcane #sevika #sevika x you #sevika x reader #angst with no comfort #silco mentioned #jinx mentioned #powder mentioned #grief #wlw #wlw angst #Spotify

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idontplaytrack · 15 days

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Hello, I've been reading your fics since I found them recently and I love your writing sm!! I've been wanting to request some smut for AJ Campos, maybe with a strap, possibly during that track race where instead of Paige, AJ is rooming with reader instead at the hotel

Watch You Sleep

AJ Campos x fem!reader

Warnings: MDNI, smut. Oral, fingering, toy use, pet names. Coarse language, drinking

In which reader’s had a lack of sleep lately and when finally alone with her in a room at an away meet, AJ gets creative

“Are you nervous?” AJ asks you quietly, a hand on your thigh.

“Coach says I’d better perform better today otherwise we can say goodbye to placing. How’d Paige get better than me?” You were looking out the window while the bus was driving to the destination.

“Excuse me?” She turned around, startling you.

“I was just saying how you’ve become better than I am at track. Maybe I should quit.”

“What? Ay, no, no, no.” Dylan chimed in, “You love track.”

“Things change, Dylan.” You exhaled harshly.

“Oh.” Paige’s face fell.

“Yeah, oh.” You snapped, “I haven’t been able to sleep in over a week. I cannot wait for this to be over. I’ve got other things to worry about.”

“Like what?”

“Are we not in the same classes, Evans? We have two essays due in two weeks.”

You wished Paige wasn’t sitting so close by…just a couple days ago, she asked AJ out right in front of you.

AJ looked at you, concerned. “Okay, you guys.” AJ shooed them away, “Return to your own conversation.”

For the rest of the drive, you laid your head on AJ’s shoulder while eating the bag of gummy bears that you brought along. And all throughout the ride, you kept feeling eyes on you. And not from AJ- Paige. You looked away, staring out the window now.

“Girl, what the fuck are you doing? Stop being creepy.” Dylan huffed.

Once at the hotel, all the students started pairing up with their roommates according to Coach Murray’s list and went to their rooms. And you? You were supposed to be with Gabi but AJ asked to swap. “Thanks, Gabs.”

“No worries.” Gabi smiled.

AJ quickly takes you into the room, shutting and locking the door behind yourselves, “Are we going to the party?”

“Yes.” AJ decided, “They would definitely play a drinking game and it would be a great way to make it clear to Paige that I’m not interested,”

“Isn’t it random? Like, don’t they just draw phones out of a pile or something?”

“I was thinking more like we…get tipsy and just kiss in front of her.” AJ chuckles. You snorted, “Please. Knowing how fucking gutsy she is, she might actually shove me to the ground. Then, she’d kiss you.”

“There’ll be witnesses.” AJ points out.

“Yeah, a bunch of drunk teens staying up past lights out is real reliable.” You laughed.

“Then we should just…post something? Announce we’re together?” AJ stifles a laugh.

You shrug, “I dunno.”

“We don’t have to go to that party, you know?” She says, “I would honestly much rather just spend some time alone with you.”

“Oh, yeah? And do what?” You ask. “Never mind, we’ll go to their ‘party’ first. You’re right- it’s the perfect place to let her know. There are other students around- so if she pulls any crazy shit? Witnesses.”

After unpacking, you and AJ decided to head out for dinner at the diner down the block. “God, I’m so tired. Why is she everywhere?”

“Tired, tired or because-” AJ says, but you cut her off.

“Both.” You deadpan. “Let’s go somewhere else.”

“Okay.” She shrugged, the two of you went further down the block to a pizza place. But not before Paige saw you and AJ leaving- the girl did not look happy.

————

Later that night, you and AJ were in Stacey’s room to party with the rest of the team. “Oh, good. You guys are here!” Stacey gasped, “Come in, come in.”

The kicked the night right off with ‘seven minutes in the hotel bathroom’. The rounds went by rapidly and you weren’t even just a little bit hopeful that you and AJ’s phones would get drawn out of the pillow case for a round together. “y/n, you’re up.” Dylan showed your phone to the group. You looked at him then at Paige who was beside him. “Aaaand, AJ, this is your phone, right? Oh, yup. That’s y/n’s face right there. You’re up- chop chop.” The group started chattering about how surprised they were that AJ had been seeing someone all this time. Contented, you grabbed AJ’s hand, stood up and got shoved into the bathroom by Dylan and Stacey. “Timer starts once the door closes!” Dylan exclaimed.

“Did you see that look on her face?” AJ laughs, grabbing your face to kiss you.

You nod, “Oh, we’re doing that here?” You broke away from the kiss briefly.

“Of course- we’re gonna really give them a show.” AJ grins.

“Oh, hell no.” You gasped, “I am not going to purposely-” And just like that, your train of thought was gone as she kisses you even deeper, her lips trailing down your jaw and to your neck which easily draws out a moan. AJ chuckles, her breath tickles your neck making you squirm.

“To be fair she’s been purposely being a little bitch to you.” AJ raised a brow, “I doubt she couldn’t tell we have something going on at least.”

“Oh, just shut up and kiss me.” You exhaled, your hands began roaming her back, but she lifts you up to sit on the countertop. Without even taking your shorts off, she pushes the fabric of it, and your underwear aside, “Do you feel ready?”

“What?” You asked, confused for a second, “Yeah. Sure.”

AJ dips a finger into your folds, gliding it up and down, proving your point, “Of course you are.” Pushing it easily into your entrance, she quickly gains a momentum, not wanting to waste a single second of this quote-unquote ‘mandated’ make-out time. She grins, licking her lips as she watches your face contort, “Baby, you’re acting like I don’t eat you out every other night.” That smirk on your face made you feel you didn’t know what to do with yourself, feeling a strangled yelp in your throat.

“Now you get shy?” She caresses your cheek with her free hand, her fingers ram into you to force a moan out of your mouth. Successfully.

“Fuck!” You whispered-shouted into her ear, “Fuck you. Oh, God.”

“Feisty.” She bit down on your neck, and you whimpered. AJ removes her fingers from you and started to kiss your face again.

“Time’s up! Get outta there.” Stacey knocks.

“You wanna go back?” AJ asks, tucking some hair behind your ear.

“Definitely.” You gave her one last kiss before straightening yourself up quickly then swung the door open.

“We’re gonna- go.” AJ stood behind you, a hand on your shoulder. “Message received. Good night- maybe you can finally get some sleep, y/n.” Dylan commented, earning a smack from his girlfriend. “Well, it’s true- she’s barely been sleeping lately.” Dylan reasoned.

“Good night, guys.” Stacey waved.

————

“Give me a minute- I just gotta get some from my bag.” She tells you while you plopped down on the bed. “Okay.” You responded while lying down. “They’re right- you haven’t been getting any good sleep recently.” AJ spoke up. “Yeah, well? I’ve been too stressed about performing well at the meet tomorrow.”

“It’s at 2pm- so we have plenty of time to get you some sleep.” She says, “Also- this might help.”

“What- oh, jesus fucking christ. How did you get that damn thing- okay, you know what? I’m not even gonna ask.” You eyes widened in shock when you turned onto your side and saw AJ putting on that harness.

“Thought you might need more to actually tire you out. And you’d probably wake up refreshed if you get some uninterrupted sleep- so you could actually perform better than Paige does.” She shrugs nonchalantly- as if she wasn’t going to impale you in the matter of minutes. “Think you can help yourself onto it?”

Her question snaps you out of your trance, “Okay.”

She chuckles, “If you say so.” AJ then laid down, waiting for you to straddle her. “Face me, okay?” You didn’t say anything else but just followed her order, legs bracketing either side of her as you knelt and positioned yourself to ease that shaft inside. AJ reflexively grabs your hips, giving you the support. “You okay, baby?” She watches you closely to make sure you weren’t in pain. You’d gotten yourself about halfway in, but you decided to get a rhythm going in order to make the rest of it easier.

“Baby?” She asks again.

“I’m okay, AJ.” You confirmed, biting your lower lip as you got used to the stretch. Watching her bare body, as she does yours, you felt yourself slipping further in by the minute. And with her words of encouragement, and a little push, you took the whole length. It was now poking you in the g-spot every time you came back down, making the moans fly out from your mouth every time.

“So pretty.” Her hands trailed upwards, kneading your breasts after unclipping your bra and tossing it aside, “You’re so pretty, my girl. Come on, give me a kiss, baby.” You leaned down, crashing her lips onto yours, content to be like this for awhile. She instinctively cups your cheeks with both hands, stroking them with her thumb. The kisses progress got heated, aiding in your little task of riding the strap. She was loving watching you and seeing your tits move along with your actions. That grin on her face? She was more than satisfied with your ability to take it. She pushes you off of her, you whine not liking the sudden emptiness. “Lay down, baby.” She pushes you down gently, her hands massaging your thighs. You complied, soon feeling her teasing you with the tip of the shaft. You squirmed, unable to keep your mouth shut. So she does- AJ crawled up to attack you with kisses, trailing down from your face all the way to your core. But of course, the lower she went, the louder you became. “You know I love hearing you, baby. Don’t hold back.” She says, her breath fanning against the juncture between your legs. “The walls are so thin.” You grumbled, “Do you not hear that?”

“So what? This whole level’s our team.” AJ shrugs, “Oh, my God- is that coach-”

“Don’t put that image in my head.” You interjected, laughing, “AJ, please.” Your hands grabbed her hair, pushing her closer to you.

“M’kay.” She grins, her tongue begins to circle your clit slowly. It made you seethe, trying to swallow the whine that was threatening to fall from your lips. “I want to hear you, babe. It’s alright.” She coos, barely breaking away long enough to speak.

You back arched more and more by the minute, and naturally, the faster she flicked her tongue, the more of a mess you were. And finally, the coil in your core started tightening, taking the place of the fluttering sensation. AJ asks if you were close, and you hadn’t even said a thing since many minutes ago- but instead your endless, whines, whimpers and moans have filled the room making AJ more eager to push you over the edge.

You could definitely feel yourself getting closer to the high, your hands clutching at the sheets beneath you. “My God. I’m so close.” You told her in a strained voice. She licks your clit one time before pulling away, much to your annoyance. “I got you, honey.” AJ grins, licking her lips to taste you, “Keep your legs open, we’re nowhere near done.”

You whined needily, feeling the ache and pulsing of your apex becoming increasingly unbearable by the second as she deprived you of the contact and stimulation- to the point where you were about to burst into tears because it was becoming too much to bear. As AJ pushes into you, she held her forearm under both your knees to keep your legs in place. And every single time she pounded into you, a sharp moan attacked her eardrums, sending shocks down her spine. “Keep going, keep going…fuck!” Your breath hitches as she retracts and pushes into you the hardest she’s had that night. Her pace became merciless as you felt the wetness dripping down you, the obscene sound from between your legs made you dizzy as did the pleasure from her fucking you with the strap. Her forearm moves away, she tells you to keep your legs in place. And, she looks right into your eyes as she continues to impale you repeatedly while profanities and high-pitched moans spewed from your mouth in an unending string. “Ah- ah! Fuck.” You cursed. AJ grins, watching you with pride as you looked back at her with hooded eyes that soon rolled to the back of your head. AJ kept going and going, watching your face at first. Then your body started trembling so she reflexively slowed down. “Oh, my God.” You cried, “Holy shit, oh my God. AJ, fuck. That feels so good, babe. Oh-”She was now holding onto one leg as she went at a languish pace to help you ride through your high. The pleasure slowly turned into a slight ache as overstimulation took over. You told her to stop and she pulls out, admiring the aftermath in the process.

She removes the harness and abandoned it. You hear it fall to the floor with a thud before she crawls into bed with you. “Hi, baby.” She cups your cheek, kissing you on the nose, “Do you feel okay?” You nodded silently, laying your head on her chest as her embrace tightens. “I wasn’t too rough, was I?” AJ asks.

“I’m a little sore, but it’ll be okay.” You admit.

AJ nods, “Think you can sleep?” She runs a hand through your hair, pressing yet another kiss onto your face.

“Mhm.” You snuggled closer, allowing her heartbeat and her warmth to lull you to sleep.

“Good night, my love.” AJ exhales softly, watching your sleepy figure in her arms, “Sweet dreams.”

#auli’i cravalho #aj campos #crush #crush hulu #reader insert #x reader #female reader #lgbtqia #queer #wlw #wlw fanfic #romance #wlw smut #wlw ns/fw #drama #wlw fluff #wlw angst #queer fiction

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maxipad031 · 1 year

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you’re scaring me, p1

part 2 synopsis: shuri’s isolating herself because of her losses so you go to confront her but it’s no use, everything just gets worse and she’s left on her own, again.

contains: cursing, angst, slight violence, crying, toxic shuri x black reader

a/n - usana - baby

your eyes fluttered open as they sensed the strong light rays peeking through the purple velvet curtains. you smiled to yourself, stretching your cramped limbs as you had such an amazing sleep last night, but that moment of happiness was ripped away as you realized that you were were alone in the bed yet again. there was no extra warmth besides you anymore since you’d been sleeping alone for more days than you could remember because of shuri’s strong habit of keeping herself locked in the lab and not coming out unless she needed new materials.

you were honestly getting sick and tired of her growing neglectful behaviour; it was as if she entirely forgot she was in a relationship with you. however, you could not put her fully to blame as the havoc wreaked by namor on wakanda following the grieving of her mothers death would be enough to put anyone in a downwards spiral of isolation. she probably felt immense pressure to protect wakanda by any means possible after the fight was over, but us and the talokans are alliances now so why was she overworking herself? shuri’s character never failed to confuse you but her unpredictable nature was also what made you attracted to her in the first place. you wanted to help her deal with her conflicting emotions but she made it so difficult for you to the point where she out rightly told you leave her alone, so you did.

that was about a week ago, and you missed shuri greatly, you couldn’t keep ignoring her anymore even though she asked you to. you deeply sighed, and leaned over, taking your phone off charge and bringing it in front of you. whilst it came on, you adjusted your silk bonnet as it was literally hanging off your head and yawned, staring sadly at the empty side of the bed. soon, your phone switched on, 11:35am it read. you did your normal routine of scrolling through social media and seeing what was new in wakanda but you got bored quickly as your mind was preoccupied with desperately wanting to communicate with shuri. you snatched your kimoyo beads from the drawer and placed them on your small wrist, watching as it whirred to life. then, you skilfully pressed the setting where it allowed you to call shuri and waited as it rang.

again no reply.

trying plan b, you took your phone and navigated to shuri’s contact number. you pressed on messages and sent the following text.

you: hey shuri, i’m making your favourite dinner later.

you: come to the royal dining room at 6pm, i really want to see you usana.”

you weren’t sure if shuri was eating properly and you wanted to make her a proper meal as well as celebrate something with her. with that, you set your phone to the side, internally praying to the ancestors that she bothered to reply. you loved shuri with your whole heart, you really did, but this was getting out of hand. ready for the day ahead, you slipped out of the soft sheets and walked towards the bathroom. you were getting ready to head to the market so you could gather the ingredients for what you planned to cook later. you just hoped you weren’t wasting your time.

~~~

you huffed and threw the many bags of groceries you were carrying. the dora offered to help but it wasn’t much, you could do it on your own. you took out your airpods that were blasting sza’s kill bill and rested them on the marble counter.

you may actually kill shuri at this point, your impatience with her was steadily growing. speaking of her, you checked to see if she’d replied to your text earlier, but what were you met with?

yeah, no bloody reply but you were left on read? oh hell no, you weren’t doing this with her. you just went to buy all this, the least she could do is give you an answer. was she even alive? what’s the point in cooking if she wasn’t going to eat it. mad and annoyed as shit, you slammed your poor phone onto the counter, scratching your forehead. she’ll see you today whether she liked it or not.

you abandoned the bags of food and made your way to her lab; your face was a fixed scowl and everyone you walked past looked back at you in worry as they wondered what made you so angry. you walked with purpose as you turned many corners to where you knew shuri was holing up in. as expected, some of the dora milaje were guarding the lab. you walked up to them and sighed as they intensely stared at you.

“i’m sorry, i need to see the queen right this instant.” you demanded, tapping your foot in irritation.

they looked at each other and back at you,

“i’m sorry, the queen has requested no one to be let in, even you.” ayo said, slightly smirking at that last part.

god, you knew she always disliked you.

“okay then, you all leave me no choice.” you unexpectedly ran into the door they were guarding, leaving them no time to put their spears up and deny you access without hurting you. you successfully managed to get the door open and there she was, in deep concentration as she leaned over what seemed like a special heart shaped herb.

her eyes snapped up to meet yours and she sighed, “what are you doing here y/n?” she asked, annoyance clearly evident in her tone as she paused her testing to temporarily look at the commotion you caused.

“sorry my queen,” ayo started but shuri dismissed her, “it’s okay, just give us some privacy.”

ayo nodded and shut the lab door once again.

“i should be asking you that question, do you even realise how long you’ve been here?” you yelled, anger clouding over your thoughts.

shuri didn’t reply, not looking at you.

“what day is it shuri?” you asked, slightly whimpering as you saw her lack of concern for your feelings.

“wednesday?” she replied nonchalantly, transferring something to a test tube.

“it’s sunday, our two year anniversary.” you replied, shaking your head in sheer disappointment and on the verge of tears.

shuri’s expression softened as she remembered but hardened again as she snatched her scientific glasses off, giving you a stern look.

“look, i know you want to come in here and lecture me but i really couldn’t fucking care less, i have stuff to do.” she put them back on and turned away from you, switching things around on her intercom.

“fuck you, you piece of shit.” you spat, your eyes watering as you tried not to break down in front of her.

shuri stopped her actions, you never swore so much at her unless it was in the bedroom.

“yeah, i fucking said that, look at me shuri godammit!” you shouted, walking towards her as she slowly turned around to finally give you eye contact.

“is it illegal to want to be near you? honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you?” you were so confused and hurt, why couldn’t shuri just talk to you instead of pushing you away like a coward.

“you keep on disturbing me and it’s getting annoying.” she said dryly, static with her emotions as she stared down at you.

“yeah?” you took off your kimoyo beads and dropped them to the floor, crushing them to the point where they didn’t function anymore.

“i won’t disturb you again.” you turned around to walk away but she grabbed your arm. you were already annoyed and she was doing nothing to help so you simply used both of your hands on the sides of her chest to push her away. she barely moved because she was so strong but it was to show her than she can’t control you anymore.

“i don’t know what’s going on with you, but it’s better we part ways if you think acting like this is okay.” you wouldn’t let your love for shuri blind you, not again, this was your last straw.

“fucking hell.” shuri turned around punched a manneqin next to her and it went flying toward the wall behind, causing you to jump back in shock at the loud noise it made. stressed, she rubbed her face with both her hands and grabbed your shoulders with a hefty grip.

“you can’t leave me y/n, everyone does, i’m tired.” she looked away from you to suppress any tears threatening do escape.

you sorrowfully looked at her, feeling and seeing every ounce of her pain and misery was ripping your heart out of your chest but this was for you, you couldn’t stay with her if this was how she treated you.“try me.” you tried not to fall into her trap again and slapped her hands off your shoulders as your sadness transformed itself nicely into anger due to the rememberance of all the hurt that she’d caused you. you then looked at her table filled with papers and metal scraps, and you didn’t know what came over you, but you were seeing straight red at this point and so acted spontaneously, swiftly using your right arm to clear everything as it all went crashing to the ground,

“fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,” you repeated, purposely destroying things you knew she’d worked hard on but you couldn’t care less, this is what she deserves for treating you like you’re worth nothing, like you deserve no love. panicked, shuri grabbed your sleeve, “y/n! stop this!” she yelled but you strongly pushed her away as you continuted to do your worst, ripping blueprints snd damaging everything you could see. your pent up anger was just spilling all over the place, you could barely control it.

“stop!” she yelled in vexation as she attempted to grab your wrists to stop you, but you weren’t having any of it and pushed her away every time until eventually, your anger shifted and you harshly slapped shuri across the face, leaving a discreet but noticeable mark,

“stop fucking touching me, i swear to god maybe namor should’ve just sank all of wakanda, then you would probably learn.” you shamelessly said, pointing your finger at her as your left eye twitched with malice and your heart racing; you realised your words were quite harsh but if that’s what it took to make shuri realise her self destructive behaviour, then so be it.

her hand felt the place you just slapped her at and she slowly looked up at you in disbelief from what you just uttered. your anger was clearing up and you’d finally realised what you’d done. your facial expression softened and you looked at shuri, reaching out to feel the mark “no, i’m sorr-

before you could finish your sentence, shuri dodged your advances and roughly grabbed your shirt collar, slamming you down onto the hard glass lab table, with such force you thought your head was going to explode, and leaned over you.

“are you fucking kidding me y/n? how dare you speak to me like that, do you have any idea what i’ve been through? you don’t know me, stop pretending like you do.” shuri angrily scolded you as she pushed down onto your collar, unaware she was simultaneously pushing down on your neck. the strength she had from the heart shaped herb was 100x yours, and she could break you like a twig if she wanted to.

“s-sorry…” you croaked out weakly, putting your hand around her hand and trying to move them away as your airways were being more and more restricted.

she just stared at you, no warmth in her eyes or admiration like there once was, just coldness, nothing that could back up her previous love for you.

“shuri..i can’t bre-breathe.” you struggled to escape her hold and tapped her hands softly as you started to feel your energy slowly dissipating.

“shit.” she snapped out of whatever trance she was in as she realized she was causing you bodily harm and hurriedly let go of you, causing you to immediately sink onto the chilly ground, coughing and spluttering as you tried desperately to regain the air you didn’t get.

“y/n..” shuri stared at her hands like she couldn’t believe what she’d just done to you, and looked at you on the ground, still struggling. she fell onto her knees and attempted to put an arm around you but you immediately flinched at her touched and scooted away as your hand held your hurting neck. you were visibly shaken up and scared of what just happened and you didn’t want her touching you at all.

“i didn’t mean to do that.” she said, a subtle tremble in her voice, “let me see.” she demanded, trying to lift your hand from your neck but you backed away once again,

“don’t touch me, please you’re scaring me.” you never thought a day in your life that you’d fear shuri, the women you loved for so long but this wasn’t shuri, no this was someone completely different and you wanted no part of this. you didn’t know where the affectionate shuri you once knew went, but this was not her.

“y/n..baby, please.” she watched as you got up, tears streaming down your face as you knew your relationship was now in complete shambles. shuri was hurt seeing you hurt and even more so knowing it was because of her. you wiped your salty tears with your sleeve and rapidly left the lab in distress, never wanting to come back again.

shuri stared at the mess littered in front of her and then at the door you’d just left from.

alone.

once again, everyone’s left her.

#mcu shuri #shuri udaku #black panther #shuri #shuri x black!reader #shuri x reader #shuri fic #wakanda forever #black panther wakanda forvever spoilers #angst #shuri angst #tw slight cursing #screaming crying throwing up #wlw #lesbian #wlw angst #maxipadoriginals

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sexysapphicshopowner · 11 days

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🤎 Context/AU (Alternate Universe): Big news for the dreamgirls!! Aftermath of 'Twenty Foreplay'

🤎 soft!wife!dreamgirl!sevika x wife!dreamgirl!reader

🤎 CW/TW: abuse, violence, death, murder, child sexual abuse, adult language, pregnancy, lesbians, pet names, fluff, angst, abortion attempt, sevika has a tragic backstory, eating disorder, drug use, mentions of alcoholism, sorry if I forgot any, not proofread/edited so excuse any mistakes

🤎 A/N: It's late, I know, life happens. I actually cut it short bc it was starting to get a lot heavier than I wanted and the flow was starting to get a bit sloppy. So have this.

🤎 Notes: Um, I cried while writing most of the flashback parts. I love the dreamgirls.

🤎 Word count: 12.4k

Aromatic wisps of rosemary and sage wafted through the bathroom, the scents intermingling with that of the light and warm, semi-bubbly milk bath your wife had drawn for you when she’d gotten home for the day. You let out a soft sigh, your head barely hanging over the edge as you sunk further into the calming water, trying to let as much stress seep out of you as possible.

Familiar and comforting hands found your shoulders, a kiss being planted on your temple as she spoke, voice barely a rumble over the neo-soul that was playing from the speaker on the sink counter, “How are you feeling, dream girl?”

“Better now that you’re in here,” you hummed as you looked up to her, pressing a kiss to her chin as she massaged your shoulders.

Her laugh was quiet as she ducked lower to press an upside-down kiss to your lips before kissing up the bridge of your nose. The playful little pecks turned reverent as her lips landed back at your forehead, peppering across the area as her hands moved.

Fingers splayed out over your neck and partially your collar as she pressed her thumbs behind your ears, rubbing in circles. You all but melted in her hands, letting your eyes slip closed once more as you enjoyed her touch and kiss.

“Have you started yet? I dropped last night.”

You shook your head, letting out a little sigh, “Not yet, though I wish it would hurry up. These body aches are killing me and if I keep gagging, I’m gonna throw up and that’s gonna make me cry.”

She cooed, thumbs now tracing down, applying a slight pressure as she dragged them along the line of your jaw, “My poor little mama...”

“Why poor me? You’re the one that’s actually on. I should’ve been the one drawing a bath for you when you got home.”

“Sure, but if you never drop then, you know what that means,” she hinted.

You rolled your eyes playfully, humming, “True... we’ll see. I’ll let you know what happens. We both know my cycle is still very off and weird.” “Right, right. Now about this gag-”

“No.”

“You didn’t even let me finish,” she pouted.

“I don’t have to. You were about to ask if it’s too bad for me to suck a lil’ dick. You’re so sick and twisted and completely un-slick, little nasty,” you shook your head, pushing her face playfully.

“Well, you’ve got me there. It was worth a try in my book,” she shrugged.

“Uh-huh. You disgust me.”

“Do I? Do I really,” she asked playfully, as you looked up, leaning your head back just a little further.

You beckoned her closer as you leaned your head back a little further, “Kiss, kiss.”

She happily obliges, leaning down to meet your lips as you stretch up just the tiniest bit. The kiss isn’t long, but it was enough to sate you until you could kiss her properly later. She mumbles against your lips as she pulls away, “I’m so in love with you and everything about you...”

Your breath caught as you looked up at her, finding that same indescribable flame that always burned within her silvery eyes. Somehow the color still hadn’t dulled against the harsh reality of life as a Zaunite. Even more, that loving look in them only seemed to be larger every time you caught her eye.

You were swooning.

It wasn’t until her lips pressed to your forehead that you were pulled out of your reverie, blinking up at her as you turned around in the tub to look up at her properly as you leaned onto your arms, folding them over the edge of the bathtub, “I love you more.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded, beckoning her closer with the crook of a finger, “Uh-huh. C'mere. I’ll show you how much I love you.”

She all but fell back into your lips, sighing into your kiss as it consumed her, your nails raking over her scalp as your fingers slid into her hair, thumbs tracing her jaw just in front of her ears.

In a very uncharacteristic move, she pulled from the embrace before you could even deepen it, huffing, “You can’t kiss me like that, dreamy...”

“Why not?”

She shook her head to clear it, wiping her face, “Because then I’m gonna wanna get into the tub with you, then I’m gonna fuck you and I’m supposed to be focused on doing other things right now.”

“Such as?”

She just chuckled in response before planting a much more chaste kiss to your lips, following it with another to the tip of your nose, the final one touching your forehead as she stood, “What fun would it be if I just told you, mama? I’ll be back in a sec with some sparkling white grape. Just in case I did knock you up, which... not to toot my own dick, but I’m pretty certain I did.”

Your laugh was more of a splutter as you choked on your spit and air at the same time, “For Janna’s sake, Sevi, it’s ‘toot my own horn’. I can’t stand your nasty ass sometimes.”

“Then it’s a wonderful thing you’re in the tub right now, isn’t it?”

“Girl- just hurry up, I want cuddles when I get out of here.”

She blew you a final kiss from the doorway before disappearing into the rest of the house to do whatever it was she was hiding from you. As promised, she’d come back with the sparkling juice, to which you accepted gratefully with a little kiss before sinking back into your bath, lazily holding the champagne flute over the side of the tub as you sipped on the drink idly.

Sevika doesn’t like men.

All the men out there who’ve ever wanted to fuck her can thank her father for the aversion.

You see, when your childhood consists of being pimped out to strange men to pay your alcoholic father’s gambling debts, constantly getting into street fights, and then getting your ass handed to you once you get home- you don’t have much time to really discover yourself.

Maybe in a different universe- one where Sevika wasn’t born in Zaun... where her father wasn’t abusive... where she wasn’t sex trafficked by the very man that was meant to protect her... she might’ve been attracted to men.

But this wasn’t that universe.

Her fear of relationships with men quickly grew into an outright disgust of them.

And then it got worse.

For Sevika, it started with the vomiting.

For probably all the ladies living up Topside, the first sign would’ve been a missed period. Thanks to life in the Lanes, however, Sevika was pretty used to her period not coming at all sometimes. It never came with a baby before though.

She’d been dancing the line of unknown pregnancy scares since she was 11. Now she was 21, still under the thumb of her father, and even worse- pregnant.

It wasn’t long before you were wrapped in a fluffy robe, feet slid into your house slippers as Sev guided you into the kitchen with her hands over your eyes under the guise of ‘driving you’ to her secret little surprise.

You stumbled a bit and she took a little pause, “You okay?”

“I smell food.”

Her chuckle was hearty and you could almost hear the head shake that accompanied her words, “I’m sure you do. Almost there, dream girl.”

Her hands were removed from your eyes without warning and allowed your eyes to adjust as she leaned her face over your shoulder, hands coming down to their usual home base of your waist as you took in the ambient, candlelit dinner she’d put together for you guys, “Sev...”

She shook her head before you could continue, “Yes, I’m on my period and that’s your favorite time to spoil me, but I wanted to treat my wife.”

You poked your lip out as you turned your head to look at her, “Sev...”

She giggled, peppering the side of your face with kisses, “Don’t cry, mama... it’s just dinner. I can’t even cook like you.”

You sniffled, fanning your eyes, “Shut it, my emotions are just everywhere right now. It’s not about your cooking skills, even though we both know I’ve taught you well... It’s about the gesture, and you know it.”

She nodded, lips now at your shoulder, “I know... hope you love it.”

“Of course, I love it... I love you...” you mumbled, holding a hand against her cheek.

“Alright, alright, sit and eat,” she prompted, pulling your chair out with her foot. Before you could protest as she sat you down, she pressed several kisses to your face, “And I love you too. Never forget it.”

You had a stupid smile on your face throughout the entirety of dinner.

Emetophobia.

The fear of vomiting or seeing others being sick.

Sevika had experienced her father’s violent reactions to her throwing up before.

The first time was when she was 6.

It was a particularly bad winter in Zaun. The smog was thicker, the cold seemed to seep into the very core of the Lanes.

She’d been battling the sniffles and a nasty fever for days, all the while still being forced to ‘put herself to use’ by her father.

Then it got worse.

Then she began to throw up.

At first, she hid it well. She’d swallow it down when she couldn’t get out of his sight. When she could, she’d always go out to an alley, ducking and weaving through bodies of what the little girl only hoped was just drunkards and junkies who’d passed out on a bender rather than what a six-year-old Sevika knew in her heart were either already dead or close to it.

Up until this point, the extent of physical abuse coming directly from her father was a slap across the face or being picked up by the front of her shirt and shaken around.

Then she brought him breakfast and didn’t make it out of his room fast enough to go puke out back.

That was the catalyst for the abuses that would be-fall her for the next few decades of her life.

Throw up tastes disgusting.

It tastes even worse going back down after being licked up off your father’s grimy boots.

Even worse, the feeling of wanting to re-release those fluids again when you were forced to lick those same boots clean until they were no longer grimy.

Sevika trained herself to hold her throw up in after that.

Your music from the bathroom was moved to one of the counters in the kitchen, incense burning in the holder as you and Sevika cuddled up into each other, you perched up on her lap with the two of you picking from the same plate in between soft kisses and intimate looks.

It was just you and your wife, enjoying the presence and company of one another in the midst of the meal she’d prepared.

You leaned back against her chest, letting out a happy sigh, “You know... I’m so proud of you for this.”

“Yeah,” she asked softly. The softness of her voice, the genuine question in that one word was so cute. You turned in her lap, sitting sideways atop her, cupping her cheek in a hand as you smiled warmly, pressing a kiss to the bridge of her nose.

You kept your voice at the same level of hers as you responded, “Of course, I’m proud, baby. You pan fried the rice properly and everything. I’m so very proud to see you picking up cooking a little more.”

Your heart broke a little at the tears that glossed over her silver orbs as she looked up at you, “Really? You mean it?”

“Yes, baby, I mean it. What’s wrong,” you cooed, bringing your other hand to her cheek to stroke both of them with your thumbs, “Talk to me, baby.”

She shrugged, looking away, “I dunno... I just... I feel like I’ve been struggling to eat lately. Like I’ve been having to force myself to eat so I just... I wasn’t sure if I was in the right headspace to be cooking tonight, but I wanted to treat you, you know?”

“Sev...” you began.

“Don’t... it’s okay, doll. I’ll-”

“Sevika,” you stopped her, keeping her face turned to yours as you moved again, this time to straddle her, “Will you look at me? Please?”

She shook her head in your gentle grip, tears beginning to well, threatening to spill over as she fought hard to blink them back, “I can’t...”

“And why not?”

“I don’t want to see you disappointed in me...” she whispered, voice barely the ghost of a whisper. It was the smallest you’d heard her voice in a while. The last time was... you softened, further, bringing your voice to a warmer tone.

“I’m not disappointed in you, baby. And I never could be, especially not for something like that. I’m actually proud of you. Very proud that instead of shutting down, you’re talking about it. I know how hard that is for you, especially when it comes to your eating. So with that being said, will you please look at me?”

Watery eyes met yours as she nibbled the inside of her cheek, whispering, “Promise?”

“Of course, baby. I promise, I’m not disappointed.”

She took a shuddery, breath, closing her eyes as she leaned her forehead against your chest, “I love you...”

You pressed a kiss into her hair, rubbing her back, “I love you too, baby. You wanna try and eat a little something more for me? Or do you just wanna talk? What did you eat today?”

“Um.... I had a few bites of the lunch you made me, but then I.... let Ran eat the rest... I’m sorry...”

“Baby, you don’t have to keep apologizing. Can you at least drink some water and eat a little something? Just a couple of bites?” She whined and you let out a little sigh, running your fingers through her hair, “Have you smoked yet?”

“Mhm.”

“Didn’t help?”

“No.”

“Okay... You’ll try again later?”

“Sure.”

“If you can’t that’s fine, but you gotta promise me you’ll try and eat well tomorrow, okay?”

“I promise...”

A plaintive silence fell over the two of you. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just... somber. You didn’t comment when she began to pick a few bites off the plate again, simply smiling that she was getting some form of food in her, even if it wasn’t a lot.

At some point, Sevika had stopped eating, hands gripping at your waist, hips and thighs as she pressed kisses along the line of your neck and shoulder. Her hands strayed to your stomach as she mumbled, “Hey, mama?”

“Yes, my love?”

She chuckled as you stuffed your face with food, wiping some from your cheek, “What if I really did knock you up in one try?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised. I mean, how many times did you nut in me? And we were both ovulating around that time too. It was like perfectly timed for us to actually end up with a baby.”

She didn’t say anything else for a few moments, and you went right back to eating before she rested her chin on your shoulder, tracing your side with her mechanic hand, “You make me want a family...”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, “Yeah... even with life down here... the work that I do... you make me wanna have something to leave behind... a little family that’s like... a legacy of our love. Like, yes, I wanna be a mother and give our kids the things that I never had, but I also want people to see our kids and know that those are our kids. Like... they know that our kids have two loving moms that are actively in love.”

You let out a little giggle, turning to the side in her lap to wrap your arms around her neck, pressing a kiss to her cheek as you held her other one, stroking your thumb over her cheekbone, “You’re so cute... I love you, and I would love to have your babies, and I know what you’re trying to say, I promise.”

She relaxed, letting out a sigh of relief as she leaned into your hand on her face, “Thank Janna, I thought I was just rambling stupidly.”

You shook your head, pressing more kisses to her face and lips, “No, I understood you perfectly.”

“Have I told you how much I love you today?”

You giggled, nodding, “Yeah, a little bit. You always remind me that I’m loved... it’s why I married you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Baby, you told me you loved me within our first four dates. It was so cute because you were still learning to navigate love and healthy relationships... we both were, and still are, but here I had the big, scary lady of Zaun and she was looking at me like a puppy and telling me that she thought she was falling in love with me. I think that was the moment when I truly felt like I had found my person in you. And well... the rest is really history. By the time you asked me to marry you, I couldn’t say anything but yes.”

She had idly reached for her wedding band that she always wore on a chain around her neck, fiddling with it as she looked up at you in her lap, “You never once like... entertained saying no? Or maybe waiting a little longer?”

“Never. I knew when I met you that I had to snatch you up and it was just my luck that you seemed to have the same thought process when it came to me. I love you. And that’s not changing. So yes, I mean it when I say I wanna have your children, or that I love you more than anything, or that I’d do anything you asked of me because you’re... you’re everything to me, Sev... and I know that when it comes to us talking about kids it’s hard for you... but you’ve given me so much and I wanna give you the same thing in return. If given the chance, I wouldn’t change a thing about our relationship... well...”

Her eyes snapped up to you from her ring as worry laced through her features, “Well?”

You snickered, placing a gentle kiss to the bridge of her nose, “If I could go back, I would make sure I’d asked you to marry me before you could ask me.”

“You’re so,” she rolled her eyes, unable to hide her smile as you shut her up with another little kiss. She pulled you further into her lap with a happy little sigh, “I love you, dream girl.”

You leaned into her, resting your head on her shoulder as you wrapped an arm around her, your other hand coming up to her chest, fingernail tracing along her collarbone, “I love you too.”

“Done eating?”

You nodded, patting your stomach, “May or may not be a baby-baby in here, but there’s definitely a food baby in here.”

The way she perked up almost like a little kid was too cute as she asked, “I did good?”

The sated and full sigh you let out was all the answer she really needed, but you furthered it as you spoke, “Fuck yes...”

She rubbed your back with one hand, her other one grabbing hold of your hand to kiss each of your fingertips, “You’re so cute. It wasn’t even all that, mama.”

“Uh-huh, it was gourmet. My compliments to the chef.”

She raised a brow, voice full of ulterior motives and that all-too-familiar lilt as she muttered, “If you weren’t clearly about to fall asleep, I would ask for some better compliments, you know.”

You quirked a brow sleepily, looking up at her through low and hooded eyes, “Huh?”

“Alright, c’mon. To bed with you,” she prodded, adjusting her hold on you to pick you up with your legs wrapped around her waist.

You instinctively looped your arms around her neck, pressing a few kisses to it as you hummed, “I love you.”

“So I’ve noticed. I love you too.”

“I love you.”

She chuckled, “I love you too, baby.”

“I love you.”

She used her foot to push open the door to your shared bedroom, nodding as she used her foot to close the door once more, “Uh-huh, I love you too, dreamy. What’s up?”

You shrugged as she sat down on the edge of the bed with you in her lap again, “Just feel like I haven’t said it enough today, you were at work all day, baby. Gotta reach our quota.”

“We have a quota?”

“Mhm,” you nodded against her shoulder, eyes closed as you planted lazy kisses against whatever skin was closest to you.

Her breath hitched in her throat and she assumed a firmer grip on your hip as she hummed, “And what exactly would that number be?”

“We say ‘I love you’ at least 76 times a day. And we kiss at least 280 times.”

She chuckled, hand stroking along your hip and thigh as she nodded, “And where did you get these numbers from? Your ass?”

“I’ve always counted.”

That shut her up before she asked her next question a few moments later, “Are these exact numbers?”

“An average. I did say ‘at least’.”

“Huh.... you’re gay.”

“Okay, but you married me so what does that say about you?”

“That I did.” She turned to press a kiss to your forehead, just below your hairline before resting her head against yours, “I love you, dream girl.”

You melted in her arms, nuzzling into the crook of her neck as you tightened your hold around her waist, “I love you...”

“I love you,” she called again with a soft lilt in her tone as her thumb traced circles at the side of your hip.

A heavy blush was creeping up from your chest, your skin growing warm as you let out a shaky breath, “I love you...”

“You okay?”

“Uh-huh...”

“Words, mama.” You huffed and she shook her head, “No, ma’am. Talk to me. You goin’ to sleep on me?”

“No.”

“No?”

You shook your head against her, “Mh-mh.”

She just chuckled, rubbing your back with one hand as she cradled the back of your head with the other, pressing kisses into your hair, “Whatever you say, mama.”

Sevika’s pregnancy scares were probably a lot more than she realized, but with little actual knowledge of her body, and the compounding factor of probably the world’s most irregular cycle, she spent the majority of her tween, teen, and young adult years none the wiser to any of the times where her body was seemingly contemplating the creation of a child.

Until it started.

At first, it was just a random nausea spell here and there.

Then the nausea grew constant, the smallest smells setting her off with this horrible gagging.

And then she threw up.

All she could think of was what she was supposed to do when her father found out. No, no... he couldn’t find out.

Flashbacks of that day when she was 6 have been haunting her since the first day of nausea. The intensity all but doubled when she woke up running for the toilet.

Terrified didn’t even begin to cover the amalgamation of emotions Sevika was feeling when she realized what was going on with her.

She thrust herself into ‘working’. Unsure of how far along she was and unable to actually find out, she decided to swallow down her daily morning sickness whenever it cropped up if she could, and when she couldn’t, she was straight to the nearest toilet.

That didn’t stop her father from finding out.

Sevika was sat on the bathroom floor, groaning under her breath after being unable to force herself to swallow her vomit back down. She was too weak and out of it to scramble and get herself together.

If it wasn’t bad enough that she’d thrown up- didn't even get the chance to flush the toilet yet- her lack of reaction to his presence only further incensed the already drunk and irate man that called himself her father.

It was a shitshow.

Sevika was hemmed up by the collar of her shirt, his fist shaking as he barked in her face, questioning if this was why she’d been ‘underperforming’ lately. Too stunned to speak and reeling from the sudden yanking up from the floor, she sputtered, dizzy with a pounding headache as she tried to form a response.

The more she floundered to actually engage with him, the more angry and downright belligerent he became.

As always, he didn’t see his daughter, shaking under his grip of her collar.

No, he saw the extra mouth he’d been having to feed.

He saw the reason his wife was dead.

He saw red.

By the time Sevika found her words to even begin attempting to answer his barrage of questions and demands, his fist was already connecting with her face, his grip on her shirt the only thing saving her from ending up sprawled on the bathroom floor.

It was going to be a beating for the books.

You didn’t even realize it when she’d laid you down in the bed on the pillows, tucking you in, until she was sliding into bed next to you, wrapping her arms around you from behind with a kiss to the back of your shoulder, “Hm?”

She shook her head, reaching a hand into your robe to hold one of your breasts as another kiss was planted to the side of your neck, “Go to sleep, mama. I just had to go get out of my work clothes.”

You let out a little groan, turning in her arms to nestle into her, your face tucked under her chin as you mumbled, “Hmmm... g’night.... love you...”

With a little chuckle she pressed kisses into your hair, rubbing your lower back as she whispered against you, “Good night, my love. Sleep well.”

You didn’t sleep very well at all.

Along with the aches and random pains in weird places in your body- a tugging in your lower abdomen that also had a random stabbing along with it, back pain, an almost constant headache, and just a general discomfort and ache in your body- you also had this constant metal taste that was like having a mouthful of rusty change in your mouth at all times.

You were constantly waking up throughout the night from the discomfort, the violent urge to brush your teeth to purge your mouth of the vile metallic tang plaguing you. This, compounded with your incessant gagging, had you growing nauseous with the mere thought of your toothbrush starting to make you want to dry-heave.

You were presently standing over the sink, tears in your eyes as you tried to prepare yourself to gargle some mouthwash after having thrown up for about the fifth time since you woke up in the middle of the night.

Sevika, ever the stony sleeper, had no idea until she rolled over, finding your cold spot in the bed next to her. She groaned, calling out in a sleep-filled voice, “Baby, what’re you doin’? Come back so we can cuddle...”

You huffed, gripping onto the counter of the bathroom sink, fighting the urge to dry-heave again, “I’ll be back in a second....”

You could hear her trudging footsteps coming closer to the bathroom until she was coming up behind you, rubbing your back and pulling hair out of your face, concern and sleep both written on her features, “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I just.... I’m fine, I’ll be fine,” you shook your head, pushing her hand away before grabbing the capful of mouthwash.

“You can’t lie to me, dream girl. You’re crying, you’re pale... you look like shit and you’re supposed to be asleep right now. Talk to me.”

“I’m in pain, gagging now has nausea with it, I just threw up, so now I gotta wash that out of my mouth, but that’s still not going to get rid of this fucking taste in my mouth and I just-”

“Hey,” she moved to stand right in front of you, hands on your arms as she rubbed them to try and calm you back down, “Avalanche, you’re spiraling, dreamy. Take a deep breath with me and we’ll go sit down and talk, okay?”

You nodded as you looked up at her, taking a shaky but somewhat deep breath along with her as she nodded along, continuing to rub your arms with her thumbs tracing circles.

You let out a hiccup when you went to exhale and the second the tears started to brew again, she shook her head, “No, no, eyes on me... You’re safe... you’re okay, I promise. I’m here. You are okay, you’re doing so well, my love. Let’s try again, okay? Deep breaths.”

It took a few more tries before you finally relaxed in her hold, wrapping your arms around her. She brought one hand up to play in your hair, the pads of her fingers rubbing your scalp as her claws on her mech hand trailed lightly up and down your back.

She ended up taking you to the kitchen, sitting you down as she made you a glass of water with two and a half ice cubes- just the way you liked it after an episode like that, holding your free hand and kissing your knuckles and fingertips as you drank with your other hand.

When you sat the glass down, she stepped between your legs, still stroking her thumb over the back of your knuckles, “Whenever you’re ready, we’ll talk. If you don’t wanna talk, we can go back to sleep. If you want a distraction, we can watch something, or I could read you something. Just let me know, okay?”

You nodded, reaching up with your other arm for her to come closer. She pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaning into the embrace, wrapping you up in her arms. The two of you remained that way for a few quiet moments until you looked up at her with a sniffle, your chin on her chest, “Sev?”

“Yes, dreamy?”

“Can you read to me in bed?”

“Absolutely, baby. Do you wanna stay with me while I grab a book or go get comfy?” You held onto her tighter and she nodded, stroking your hair, “Alright, I got you.” She moved so that she could give you a piggyback while she grabbed a book. She ran her finger over the titles, moving on to the next one when you let out a little ‘mh-mh’ sound at each one until giving a nod when she got to a book you wanted to hear.

Once you were both back in bed, Sevika sat up against the headboard with you lying on your stomach between her legs curled up into her chest, she started reading the book, her voice still rather raspy from sleep. She held the book in one hand, her other one up at your face, stroking your cheek with the back of her fingers and only moving to flip the page.

Eventually, you closed your eyes, enjoying the vibrations of her voice in her chest beneath your head and the feel of her fingers on your face. Unconsciously, you took hold of her hand, fiddling with her fingers. She paused in her reading to check in, “You okay?”

“My mouth feels empty,” you lamented softly, the traces of whining laced in your voice.

She kissed your temple, “You’ve got my fingers, mama. Do you want me to keep reading?”

Sevika was no stranger to your occasional bouts like this. You hadn’t had a panic attack like that in a while, but usually when you did, you came out of them feeling very subby, not saying much, and your oral fixation would kick up, usually leading you to say things like ‘my mouth feels empty’.

You nodded in response to her question as you closed your eyes again, softly sucking and gnawing on her index finger. She smiled as your breathing evened out, setting the book aside as she pulled the covers over you both, allowing you to keep her finger before she picked the book back up.

A little groan left you as you took one more finger into your mouth, shifting atop her with your right arm wrapped around her. She shushed you softly, pressing a kiss to your hair, “I’m right here, dream girl... I’ll never let you go... promise...”

First, he punched.

Blow after blow into her face.

To this day, Sevika still has the slightest taste of blood that crops up in her mouth for no apparent reason from time to time.

It was clear that he was just making himself angrier with each hit, the strikes growing more violent and frenzied the more he spoke, barking at her about bringing another unwanted mouth into the household, about how she was still going to have to work. How could she be so foolish as to allow something like this? Half of his yelling barely made any sense but one thing was clear- he was saying that she’d gotten pregnant on purpose, trying to get out of pulling her weight around here.

His grip started to shake on her collar until he’d thrown her to the floor, too lazy to bend over and keep using his hands, so here came the infamous worker’s boots, smashing into her stomach and chest with seemingly reckless abandon- yet somehow still managing a concentration of kicks to her stomach. Sevika curled in on herself slightly, instinctively going to guard her stomach which left her chest open.

There was a sick crunch with each kick there, blood bubbling up out of her mouth as her body was wracked with coughs, the blood spattering across the floor with each one. Her father stopped for a few moments, leaning against the wall to catch his breath as he wheezed.

"You... are fuckin'.... pathetic..." he huffed, turning back around to prod her face with his foot.

He spat down at her as she lay there, voice gruff as he all but growled, “Get the fuck up.”

Sevika was already weak when he came in, having been throwing up essentially all morning before he'd come in to find her when he got home. It hurt to even breathe, ribs threatening to puncture her lungs with every shallow breath she managed, let alone for her to actually get up off the floor.

She didn’t move.

He gave her a shove with his foot, pushing her onto her back as his voice got louder, “Did you not hear me, bitch? Get the fuck up!”

Tears brewed at the back of her eyes. She always says the back because she learned early on not to cry. He hated that almost more than he hated her.

With a great amount of effort, she rolled onto her side, then her stomach before bracing her hands against the floor to push herself up, low grunts and huffs escaping her the whole way.

She barely got a few inches off the floor before he used his foot once again to kick her, knocking her back down, “Get up.”

It was getting harder to hold those tears.

She wasn’t foolish enough to hope that actually ending up pregnant would change things. She never hoped for anything. But some subconscious part of her did. While she had no plans on keeping the child, not that her father would let her anyway, something deep within her secretly wanted to.

Her arms were wobbly, weak as she started to push up again. Each time she started to get up as he was demanding, he’d kick up under her, right into her stomach.

She knew what he was doing.

She didn’t want to lose the baby.

Not like this.

But she couldn’t do anything.

For years after his death, she berated herself for not killing him sooner.

After all if she had...

To say you had a disgusting cocktail of things seemingly going wrong with you would’ve been an understatement.

You were locked in an almost unending cycle of sorts. First, you’d feel so nauseous it was almost like you were seasick. Then you’d throw up, which meant you had to brush your teeth after, lest the unceasing metallic taste be joined by vomit, which meant more gagging and possible throwing up. Then to make you feel even worse, now your gums were bleeding.

And there was the pains.

Sevika could barely keep up, but she was doing her best. She went into work less often, explaining the situation to Silco. When she did go in, he kept her for shorter hours, having her back home to you before afternoon.

You guys were still awaiting your now questionably late period when you called from the bathroom one morning, “Baby?”

“Yes, mama?”

“Can you bring me a liner from the closet?”

“You dropped?”

“I think?”

She entered the room with a liner in one hand and fresh panties in the other, “You think?”

“It’s never been this light before. It’s not spotting, but it’s not my usual first day either,” you explained, letting her see the red and brown that now stained the panties you were wearing initially before you tossed them across the bathroom and into the hamper, taking the fresh ones and the liner from her with a soft ‘thank you’ as you changed.

She leaned against the sink, clearly studying you, trying to rack her brain for any sort of explanation.

“This just started?”

“Yeah?”

“Hm.”

“What are you thinking about over there? I’m not dying, am I?”

She looked at you like she could kill you before whatever this was did, “Don’t talk like that. I’m just trying to make sense of this. Perhaps we should visit your mom...”

The last line was muttered more to herself, but you responded all the same. Your mother was a doctor. More than that, she was a pretty damn good one, and she specialized in childbirth and care. She’d helped numerous women through what could’ve otherwise been fatal pregnancies, not to mention you come from a very... fertile line of women.

“Would that make you feel better if I did?”

She nodded immediately, “Yes, please. If anyone will know what’s going on with you, it’s definitely her.”

“You know that’s a six-day trip, right?”

“Don’t care. I’ll work something out with Silco if need be, but I need to know what’s going on with my girl. Start packing when you get out of here, I’ll be back in 45, okay?”

You huffed, grumbling to yourself, “Watch it just be somethin’ stupid."

“Nothing’s stupid when it comes to you, dream girl. Don’t make me fuck a reminder into you when I get back.”

“You’re leavin’ without my kisses? Do y’even love me anymore,” you wailed dramatically.

You could almost sense her playful eye-roll as you heard her steps clunking back toward your shared bedroom. She bent down to meet you as you placed the liner into your new panties, pressing two kisses to your lips, “Happy now?”

“No,” you pouted, your bottom lip poked out as you looked up at her sadly.

She stooped down to your level, face softening, “What’s wrong, my love?”

“You only gave me two kisses....” you whined, dead serious.

Her face fell and she pushed your knee, “Don’t scare me like that, I thought something was really wrong, dreamy. Mmmmwah, better?”

You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped you as she planted a very audible kiss on your lips, nodding, “Yes, thank you. And insufficient kisses it very much serious business.”

“Yeah, when it’s you depriving me, not the other way around. Hurry and get ready, okay? The sooner we figure out what’s going on with you, the better.”

“I know, I know. I’ll be fine. Go talk your way into going with me,” you waved her on, getting up from the toilet as you flushed with one hand, turning the sink on with the other to wash your hands.

She got maybe three steps away from the door before she was back in the bathroom, tugging your face to hers for a searing- almost teasing- kiss as she muttered before pulling away, “I love you, lock the doors and windows, I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Despite already missing her presence with her standing right in front of you, you managed a smile, pecking her lips once more, “Hurry, Sevi. The longer it takes you to leave, the longer I have to be here by myself.”

“Say it back first,” she mumbled against your lips, the two of you still trading kisses back and forth.

You pressed a lengthier kiss to her lips, looking up at her with a whisper, “I love you...”

She tilted her head to rest her forehead against yours, closing her eyes, “I’ll be back, okay?”

“Sev-”

“I’m fine. I’ll be back.”

She quickly suppressed the brewing tears, heading to go ask Silco for some time off to make the trip.

Sevika spent that night on the bathroom floor, bloodied and bruised, still coughing up blood periodically as she cradled her stomach, praying to whoever was out there that she didn’t die on that floor.

She didn’t die.

Even more, neither did her baby.

Sevika wasn’t excited.

She wasn’t happy to be bringing this life into the world.

Sevika was petrified about the mere idea of it all.

If she kept the baby, there was the chance her father would kill the baby, or worse, the baby would end up being abused just as she was. She couldn’t have that happen.

But did she truly want to give it away?

If the baby was lucky, it would end up being sent topside to Piltover. It’d be safe there as much as she hated to think about her child ending up being a topsider.

But more likely than not, the kid would end up just in the system. Sent off from home to home around the Lanes. Or even worse, the kid could end up being one of the many orphans on the street.

Sevika didn’t know what she wanted. Or what she would do.

To make matters worse, her father acted as if she weren’t even pregnant in the first place.

She was still working, now having to do even more ‘work’ to make up for the “lackluster performance” from the week she first found out she was pregnant. She was also working at home again, something she hadn’t done much since she’d become an adult.

It took months for her to begin showing, and by the time she had, it was almost as if her father intended for her to keep the baby. The physical abuse was now reduced to the occasional slap or hair snatch here and there, and though the verbal and emotional abuse intensified in its place, he’d begun seemingly making room for the new addition.

He was by no means happy about the prospect of his daughter having a child. But the way he saw it, that was another worker to bring money in to fund his drinking, gambling, and other vices.

The way Sevika saw it? She'd rather die than let her child go through the same things she did. Whether this was something she wanted or not, she knew that if she had to have this child, she’d protect it with her life.

It’s nowhere near the first time you’ve had to make this trip to see your mom. 6 days there, 6 days back.

The majority of your journey is spent with your symptoms playing a twisted game of roulette, alternating between which ones will be your biggest issue that day.

You’re a constant mess of tears, throwing up, gagging, whining, and for the life of you, you cannot stop peeing, only to end up releasing barely a trickle if even a few drops.

You’re tired.

Sevika is also tired.

Your wife wasn’t much of a caregiver when the two of you met. She wasn’t the worst, but it was clear that she was still very much learning. By now she's got it pretty much mastered.

She’s been holding you through everything, offering up massages, cuddles, and her fingers whenever you’re starting to get too overwhelmed by all the different compounding symptoms of what’s looking more and more like a pregnancy.

That’s when the nosebleeds started.

You’ve never had a nosebleed before. Aside from getting your nose broken that one time, you’d only ever dealt with Sevika’s nosebleeds that she gets during the winter from her nostrils drying out. But you? Never had it happen.

However, you knew what it meant.

It ran in the family. Bloody noses and sensitive- sometimes bleeding- gums were some of the earliest pregnancy symptoms within your family. If you didn’t know based on your other symptoms, all other weird yet slightly common symptoms of pregnancy, you definitely knew now.

You were both in your hotel room, the last stop before the final half-day stretch that would get you to your mother’s house, your back to her front as she trailed her fingers over your stomach, muttering affirmations and praises under her breath at how good you’d been holding up when you felt what you thought was your nose running.

You reached up to swipe at your nose with a sniff, pulling your sleeve away to find red now smeared across it, “Oh no...”

She sat up with you, eyes going wide, “Baby?”

You held your nose, pinching the bottom of your nostrils as you cupped your other hand under your chin, holding your head forward while running to the bathroom.

It’s not an overwhelming amount of blood. You’ve seen Sevika come home with much worse from particularly bloody brawls at The Last Drop for sure. But to your wife? You may as well be dying.

Sev is right on your heels, a face towel in her hands already being run under some warm tap water as she pulls you in front of her, taking hold of your chin with her mech hand and assessing the situation as she cleans your face with the towel in her other one.

“This isn’t normal.... d’you think we can leave tonight? Get a jump on some answers? I’m worried about you.”

“Baby, it’s just a nosebleed. I won’t bleed out by morning. It’s not even bleeding anymore.”

She shakes her head, turning your face side-to-side face for signs of any bruising or other things that may be outwardly wrong with you. When she finds none, she starts to gently prod at your nose with a finger, pushing against the bridge and around, “You don’t get it, dreamy. You don’t get nosebleeds. I get those like an orphan gets the cold and flu. Not you... I don’t know a single person in the Lanes who’s just never had a nosebleed like you... I’m scared.”

While you were now very certain about being pregnant, you wanted to wait to tell her, so you simply took hold of her arms- standard panic protocol between the two of you- as you spoke gently, “Baby, there’s a lot of things going on with me that just aren’t normal for me, but that’s why we’re on this trip. We’ll get answers in the morning, okay? Breathe for me, deep breaths.”

Sevika’s barrage of questions and worries fizzle out on her tongue as she locks in with you, mumbling a small, “Avalanche,” as she takes a deep breath in time with your own.

“There we go, my love. What can I do for you to make you feel a bit better right now? If you wanna get back on the road, we can. Or we can go cuddle and I’ll braid your hair. Or we can watch our show. Whenever you’re ready, just let me know, okay?”

She closed her eyes as she took a final breath, opening them once she blew it back out, “Can you braid my hair and we watch our show?”

“Of course, baby. Come on, relax time. If my nose bleeds again tonight, we’ll get up and head on immediately.”

The two of you ended up back in bed, Sevika’s head in your lap as you gave her a few braids to pull back into two little pigtails in place of her usual half pony, you guys’ show playing in the background of her giving you updates on the things she’s gotta do for Silco when you two return back home.

“And then he was literally all whiny talking about how he needs me to come in at some point when we get back so I can go head up the factory and take stock.”

You snickered, pulling a hair tie around her first little pigtail, “We need to get this man a calculator class or something. Oh, remind me it’s time for a trim when we get home, your undercut is practically long enough for me to braid it too.”

She rolled her eyes, rolling over in your lap to face you so you could do the other side of her hair, “Oh hush, it’s not that long.”

“Nah, I’m just being extra.”

“I love you...”

“I love you too.”

She squeezed her eyes closed, gritting her teeth, “I love you...”

You noticed the tense in her jaw, voice softening, “I love you more, baby.”

“Avalanche,” she said meekly, fist gripping your shirt.

You set your comb aside, pulling her up and into your arms as you wrapped your legs around her, allowing her to bury her face in your chest. Slowly rocking side to side, you stroked her hair with one hand, holding her tightly with your other arm as you pressed kisses to her temple and along her hairline, “I got you, Vika.... I’ll never let you go.... never leave... You’re safe... I love you... I’m always going to love you... nothing you do will change that... We’ve been married for so long now... We’re planning babies... We’re still gonna get our homestead... And you can have your animals... I’ll have my fruits and veggies... Me ‘n you, baby...”

You kept whispering little reassurances, reminding her about you guys’ life plan, the things the two of you have already accomplished together, the ones still to come, all while rocking her and playing in her hair. She was holding onto you for dear life. You’d been waiting for it to hit her again, knowing what time of year it was.

When her breathing evened out and her grip on you relaxed just the tiniest bit, you pulled back slightly, cleaning the crust from her eyes with your shirt before pulling the article off, tossing it to the floor. You finished her cute little pigtails while she slept, pausing to press a kiss to her nose every time she started to stir a little bit.

You watched a few more episodes of you guys’ show, making sure to put it back to where it was when she fell asleep before you relaxed as well, pulling the covers up over the two of you.

With a final kiss to her nose, this one earning a soft smile in her sleep, you leaned your head against hers before following her to sleep, mumbling, “Sweet dreams, my love... You’re gonna be a great mother...”

Pregnancy was... well...

Sevika wasn’t sure how to describe her pregnancy. She was in such a weird place after the initial day of her father finding out that she wasn’t sure what to make of anything.

One moment, he was “caring” for her- which really just meant not beating the shit out of her and pimping her out- and the next he was either acting like she didn’t exist or, again, human punching bag.

As far as symptoms, her vomiting didn’t last very long, took her maybe two weeks after that day for her to get a handle on forcing her morning sickness back down no matter what.

She really didn’t get the chance to think about it much. Sure, she had aches and pains. Sure, she had cravings. Sure, she was in and out of bathrooms like it was nobody’s business. But, those were all just minor- trivial things that ranged from annoying to slightly inconvenient at times.

The hard part was delivery.

Sevika delivered her daughter herself.

Alone, in a back alley, deep in the very heart of Zaun.

Giving birth hurt more than anything she’d ever felt before and anything she’d ever feel after.

Sevika didn’t know much about her body.

Besides the hateful things spewed about it from her father, the lustful words from her “clients”, and the few things she’d managed to sneak and read back when she was younger, she actually didn’t know much about how her body worked, let alone pregnancy.

But something seemed to come over her.

It was as if suddenly she knew everything she needed to have her baby safely.

Yes, she was giving birth in a dirty alleyway- the whole of Zaun was dirty, it was unavoidable- but even through the pain she was... calm.

She wasn’t worried about someone finding her and interfering. She wasn’t worried about her father.

All she cared about was making sure her baby made it out into this world.

And she did it.

With nothing but a lighter, a shoelace, a pocketknife, and some stolen whiskey, she delivered her baby.

A girl.

She always wanted to have a daughter when she was little.

She told herself that she’d have a girl so she could give her all the love and care that her father never showed her.

She named her Mieko.

Sevika didn’t know who the father was before now.

And even though Mieko was but a newborn, she knew.

This baby belonged to her father.

The next morning was a rush.

Sev wanted to get to your mom’s as soon as possible. She didn’t say anything about last night aside from asking if your nose had bled any more after she fell asleep, and you didn’t mention it either.

But the cloud still hung.

You noticed her fiddling with the two shell casings that hung from the same chain as her wedding ring. Every so often her hand would stray up to her neckline, fingers practically searching for the items that sat just beneath the fabric of her shirt. Each time you just gave her mech hand a little squeeze, kissing the back of it just the same as you would her flesh hand.

She was thankful you didn’t pry. You never did, actually. Sure, you knew what the casings held within them, and even more you knew exactly what it meant when she started to play with them, but you didn’t bother her about it. You gave her breath and space to grieve in her own way, never pushing for answers, never making her feel weak for showing her sadness. It was one of the many reasons she loved you so much.

Naturally, the somber mood slowly started to lift the closer the two of you got to your mother’s place of residence. You knew Sev was only mostly trying to distract herself, but you also knew how much she and your mother adored one another.

Presently, she was still fiddling with that chain of hers, rubbing the casings between her fingers as she spoke, “D’you think she’ll try and keep us here if it turns out we’re just having a baby?”

“As if you’d be opposed. The way you two act, people would swear I was the one who married in.”

She chuckled, sticking her tongue out at you, “Don’t be mad at me because moms prefers me. I’m just that guy.”

You rolled your eyes, playfully mushing her in the face, “Literally die. Don’t ever say some stupid shit like that again.”

“Or what?”

“No booty.”

“What?!” She cried incredulously, immediately on her knees, “C’mon, mama, you know I was just playing. ‘M sorry...” she trailed, looking up at you with puppy eyes.

You couldn’t help the snicker that escaped you as you pulled her up by her chin, being sure to press your lips to hers when she got close enough before she was once again standing over you, “You gotta be nice to me, okay? I’m 65 percent sure mom wrote me out of her will to put you in it.”

She rolled her eyes playfully before leaning down to kiss you once more, “Oh, please, even if she did you already know I’d just give it all to you anyway.”

“True, true.”

“You ready?”

“Yeah, are you?”

“Hell yeah. If you end up not being pregnant we’ll just try again when we get home... so long as you’re not dying or something.”

“What if I was?”

“Don’t make me beat your ass, dreamy.”

You gasped dramatically, “You tryna eat my ass?!”

“I most certainly would hope not.”

The two of you immediately forgot about the little argument that was about to start as you both raced to get to your mom first from where she stood on her porch.

“Mommy,” you exclaimed as you launched yourself into her arms.

She let out a dramatized grunt as she wrapped you up in her embrace, squeezing you tightly, “I wish you’d have told me you were coming before I felt you. Would’ve made your favorites.”

“Sorry, it was kind of an emergency.”

Sevika cut in, tugging you out of the way, “Yeah, kinda like you hogging moms right now.”

Your mother snickered, squeezing Sev just the same, “You two need to be nice and stop fighting over me all the time. You both know that I love you equally.”

“But Sev’s not even-”

“What did I just say, gummy?”

You huffed, folding your arms as you grumbled under your breath, “I can’t stand either of you.”

When the two finally released each other, your mother turned her attention back to you, raising a brow, “Sevi, baby, can you do me a favor?”

“Anything, moms.”

“Go to the garden and gather the vegetables I’ll need for stir fry, please. I’ll be in the kitchen after I finish with this one,” she requested, eyes never leaving you as she seemed to be scrutinizing you. Sev left with a kiss to your cheek and another to your mom’s temple before she practically skipped away into the garden like the overgrown kid she really was.

“Do you have something you wanna tell me?”

“What do you mean, ma?”

“You’re choosing that card? Step into my office, gummy.”

You bit your lip as you followed after her into her home office, fiddling with the hem of your hoodie, “I swear to you, I don’t think I’ve got anything worse than a cold-”

“Sit down,” she instructs, not looking to play these games with you. You shut up immediately, sitting back as she takes your vitals, “Last period?”

“9 weeks ago.”

“6 weeks late, huh?”

“I know what you’re thinking and-”

“Did you know I’ve been dreaming about fish for a month now? Tiny little fish swimming around with tadpoles.”

You looked up at her as she handed you a cup, “Seriously, ma? I’m literally your only gay child.”

She raised a brow, “What does that have to do with me? Piss. I’m testing everyone, it hasn’t just been you.”

“So you tested Ky?”

“Sure did.”

You rolled your eyes the moment your back was turned, a slipper promptly smacking you in the back of the head, “Ow! I didn’t even say anything.”

“You rolled your eyes and you were grumbling in your head about me making your brother take a pregnancy test. Obviously, I tested his wife, genius.”

You smacked, rubbing the back of your head, “I didn’t even-” she raised her other slipper and you promptly shut your mouth before grabbing her slipper from earlier, handing it back to her. “I started getting the nosebleeds,” you mumbled softly.

She looked up from her clipboard, voice and eyes softer than before, “Dear, why you know-”

“That it means I’m pregnant? Yeah... I know...”

She set her things aside, wrapping her arms around you, “Oh my little girl... all grown up... about to have a little girl of her own.”

You chuckled through the tears that had begun to fall, “We don’t even know if it’s a girl yet. Not even close to finding that out.”

She waved your argument away, rubbing your back, “Did you forget who your mother is?”

You didn’t answer, holding her a little tighter. Your mom softened, voice quiet as she questioned, “What’s wrong, gummy?”

“I’m scared...”

“Of?”

“All of it.... being a mom... having a kid in the heart of Zaun... what if... what if Sevika falls out of love with me? Or I fuck up and lose the baby somehow? Or-”

“Excuse me? I know this isn’t how I raised you to think.”

“I know, but-”

“No buts. You’re scared of being a mom? Comes with the territory. You’re scared of having your kid in the heart of Zaun? Guess what, baby girl, that’s where my mom had me, and look at how I turned out. You think you’ll somehow breathe wrong and lose the baby, I already know because I know you- you won’t. I’ll check you two out properly before you guys go back home just to be sure everything is fine and in working order with you and your body and the baby.”

“As for Sevika? Sweet girl, if you think that girl is going anywhere away from you, then you clearly have a lot of learning to do. She looks at you like you’re the very air she needs to breathe; as if you hung the sun, moon, and stars just for her. That girl loves you even more than I do, and you’re my baby,” she chimed, playfully pinching your cheek, “Make no mistake, there’s nothing that could make her fall out of love with you. Not this one. And by Janna, if she does- call me.”

You chuckled through your tears, letting out a little sigh, “I got this?”

She gave you a kiss to your forehead, “Yes, sweet girl. You’ve got this. And I’ll be here the whole time, okay? And you’ve got a wife that loves you... You’ll be okay. And if you ever want to move back up here at any time during your pregnancy or after, let me know. My door is always open, you know this.”

“I know....”

The two of you stood like that for a good while before you mumbled, “Mommy?”

“Yes, gummy?”

“Thank you.”

She let out a soft sigh, shaking her head as she held you a little tighter, “Anything for my girl. I’ll keep the news to myself so you can tell my other daughter, alright?”

“Thanks... I love you.”

She planted an audible kiss to your forehead, “Of course, little one. I love you more. Now clean that pretty little face and get yourself together. I’ll tell your wife you’re using the bathroom while we get dinner going, okay?”

You let out a happy little sigh, giving your mother one last good squeeze, “Thanks, mommy.”

She gave your stomach a little pat before turning to leave, “Don’t take too long or you know she’ll come find you. Also, you have a cold, sit your ass on the couch when you come out and don’t you dare set foot in my kitchen, you hear?”

“Yes, mommy. I’ll be out in a second.”

The door closed behind her and you placed a hand on your stomach letting out a little breath, “Now I’ve gotta figure out how to tell your mom about you, angel.”

2 years.

Sevika had been hiding her daughter from her father successfully for 2 years.

She doesn’t know how he found her. She didn’t know then and, to this day, she doesn’t know now.

She’d returned to her childhood home from a day of “work”, heart falling from her stomach as Mieko came tottering to her, wrapping around her leg.

For the longest time, fear was the only word she could use to describe that day, but no... it was something more than that. Sevika wasn’t just afraid. She was horrified. Petrified even.

How long had her daughter been alone with her father? How did he find her? How long had he known about her? Was this his first time coming into contact with her?

A million questions and terrible scenarios ran through her mind, the soft pat of her daughter’s hand on her leg pulling her from the slow descent into panic. She couldn’t help but smile at her baby, picking her up and smothering her in kisses as the little girl dissolved into giggles. She could feel her father’s eyes watching her every move.

“You take her to the back room.” His voice was gruff as always, words short and to the point.

Sevika froze. She knew what was coming for her if she let go of her daughter and faced him alone. She didn’t move, arms clutching onto her child as her heart raced even faster than her thoughts.

There had to be a way out of this.

Her father hated repeating himself. His anger was palpable, a churning storm ready to roll through the house as he slammed his fist down, “Back room, now!”

The loud noise and his elevated voice scared Mieko. She started crying. He hates crying.

Sevika slowly backed toward the front door, holding a crying Mieko to her chest as she tried to quiet her.

Wrong.

Her father was in front of her in an instant, large hands reaching for Mieko. Sevika went to turn around, run back out the door, only to have her face smashed into it, her daughter torn from her arms by his other hand. He shook the crying child, screaming at her to shut up.

Disoriented with blurry vision, Sevika stood on unsure feet, trying to reach for her daughter back.

She felt that familiar tiny hand clutch her finger for the briefest of moments before a shot rang out.

She saw red.

Sevika’s hand strayed to the shell casings around her neck frequently throughout dinner, her eyes misty and sort of far away. Your mother looked to you, wondering what was up with her daughter in law, but you waved off her concern, stroking your thumb over Sevika’s thigh in a show of silent comfort each time she withdrew from the conversation.

After dinner was finished and the dishes had been put away, your mother left for bed with a kiss to each of your foreheads. You sat on the couch with your wife, rolling a cigar for her as she curled around you, her flesh hand at your stomach, tracing patterns over the bit of skin poking from beneath your top.

You placed the ‘gar between your lips, lighting it before taking a hit and holding it out for your wife.

She took it, not hitting it, but studying it before she took a hit, sighing upon her exhale of the smoke.

“How are you feelin’,” you asked softly, playing with her semi-wavy hair that had been freed from the braids and pigtails you’d made the night prior.

“Stressed... worried...” she trailed off, voice falling quieter as she passed the blunt back to you, “sad...”

“Where do you wanna start?”

She shrugged, unwrapping herself from around you to sit up beside you, “Dunno... it’s all just a lot right now...”

You leaned your head on her shoulder, taking a couple more hits of the blunt before you passed it back to her, taking up interest in her mech hand as you started to fiddle with the metal, “Okay.... what’s got you stressed?”

“Everything...”

“But in particular at this moment?”

She didn’t answer for a few moments, eyes clouding over again. You gave her mech hand a squeeze, whispering gently, “Hey...”

“Hm?”

“You keep leaving me... Talk to me...”

“Is it possible to miss someone you’ve never met?”

Her mom.

You gave a small nod, “Entirely possible.”

“It’s like.... this longing... But it’s more than that because how can you long for something you never truly had? Even worse to miss someone who... who’s not here anymore because of you...”

Her last sentence was like a ghost, the words dissipating the moment they left her lips.

“Sevi...”

“It’s fine, I’m-”

“No, you aren’t, baby... And you don’t have to be. It’s okay to not be okay... But I wish you’d stop faulting yourself for that...”

She let out a sigh, holding the blunt out for you, “I know... Just.... can we talk about something else? Or just cuddle and smoke?”

You nodded as you took another hit, “We can do that.”

The silence that fell was comfortable, the two of you sharing the blunt back and forth until it was nothing but a roach left. You leaned to place it in the ashtray on the coffee table before moving to lay aginst Sev’s chest.

Your body was buzzing. It had been a while since you last smoked and you felt that familiar sensation of both floating and sinking into your wife’s body as you lay atop her, her arms wrapped loosely around your waist, flesh hand trazing lazy patterns along your spine.

You tilted your head slightly to look up at her, her eyes fixated on the ceiling, but not really- she was thinking.

“You have such pretty eyes,” you whispered.

Her grin was immediate as she moved her vision down to you, those silver orbs darkened in her high state, “You think so?”

You nodded, curling further into her as you closed your own eyes, “So pretty... I hope the baby gets your eyes.”

Sevika is known for being a woman who revels in violence.

The Scary lady of Zaun.

She’s the one who kicks ass and takes names- no questions.

But it wasn’t always like that.

The shot flipped a switch in her.

To be quite honest, she’s not sure what exactly killed him.

Maybe it was her beating him.

Maybe it was her bashing his skull into the wall.

Maybe she’d broken his ribs with her kicks, punctured a lung or even better his heart.

She didn’t know.

But when the rage had settled and her father lie dead on the floor, she saw her little girl.

She crumpled, those tears she’d been holding back for so long in her life ripped from her as she held her girl in her arms.

Those tiny fingers wrapped around her pinky for the last time, matching silver orbs growing dim as Mieko took her final breath in her mother’s arms.

Sevika’s heart stopped in her chest as she froze beneath you.

You sat up, looking down to find her eyes glossed over, a single tear escaping, “Sev?”

Her eyes were wide, heart hammering away in her chest, threatening to burst from it as she just barely managed to speak, “You... you’re...”

You took her hands, nodding as you whispered, “Yeah, baby... I’m pregnant.”

You were holding back tears of your own. You’d only seen your wife cry once, and that was on your wedding day. Sevika crying was as rare as you getting a nosebleed.

You cupped her face in your hands, wiping away her tears as they fell. She seemed frozen, eyes faraway again as she whispered feebly, “You...”

Sevika didn’t know what to say. She had dreamed about this moment, played it out a million different ways in her head. She just knew she’d wrap you up in her arms, a mess of kisses and giggles. But now that it was here, the two of you under the light of the fire in your mom’s living room, she was stuck.

Her eyes focused on you as you spoke, tears in your eyes, “Hey, come back to me? You okay?”

No, she wasn’t okay.

“You’re pregnant...” she whispered, still sounding like she didn’t believe it.

You let out a soft chuckle, nodding as you leaned in to kiss a line down her nose, ending with her lips, “We made a baby, Sev...”

There were stars in her eyes as she stared at you. She was never one for flowery language, she’d tried, but she always stumbled over her words or felt like she’d just come off cheesy. Her hands moved to your waist, thumbs stroking the sides of your stomach as she looked up at you, “We did...”

“We’re gonna be parents...”

“We are...” she whispered, her words thick as she blinked away a fresh batch of tears.

You didn’t wipe them away this time. Instead, you pulled her closer, wrapping your arms around her as she tucked her face into the crook of your neck. If you felt her tears soak through your shirt, you didn’t say anything, fingers combing through her hair as you rocked softly.

Sevika was swimming through her thoughts in her mind. She was petrified and ecstatic at the same time, but the fear seemed to overtake the happiness by an astounding wave, causing her to press further into you. You simply wrapped your arms tighter around her, pressing a kiss into her hair as you rubbed her back to keep her grounded.

Her mind was running about a million miles a minute. Flashbacks of her own pregnancy, her labor and delivery in that cramped alley... the few moments of peace and happiness shared with her daughter.... Mieko’s eyes as the life leaked from them...

Then she thought about you. The life the two of you have settled into together. The day that started all of this when the two of you decided to try for a baby. About all the shit you’ve had to put up with thus far and all the things to come.

She pulled back to look at you, silver eyes glistening still in the lowlight, pupils blown as she found her voice, whispering under her breath, “Thank you...”

Your eyes caught on your mother, a soft smile on your face as she mouthed, “I told you so.”

🤎©️ All work belongs to sexysapphicshopowner. Do not use or repost my content in any way without my consent or permission. Thank you! 🤎

🤎 Taglist 🤎:

@certainlynotasimp @trafalgardvivi @love-sugarr @archangeldyke-all @fyeahnix

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rimunagenius · 1 month

Text

Wish You Were Gay

ღ Pairing: Josette Maskin x AFAB!Straight!reader

ღ Word Count: 2k Words

ღ Warnings: RPF!! angst, hardcore pining (jojo obv), internalized homophobia, unrequited love, crippling jealousy, both preferred pronouns are used for Josette in this fic!

ღ a/n: This is based off Billie Eilish’s song ‘wish you were gay’ and I feel like i actually became a fucken poet with this. I’m sorry for the amount of therapy bills imma have to pay after this really sad fic��but also i feel like this is the perfect pining and unrequited love trope song that billie wrote imo.

ღ

ღ "Baby, I don't feel so good", six words you never understood

"I'll never let you go", five words you'll never say

Jo had this reacurring dream that you'd be here. In her bed. With her. Happy.

Everytime, you'd look to her and smile. Your one dimple on your left cheek more prominent as you layed on her chest. She'd stroke your hair, a matching smile plastered on their soft pink lips.

Josette would then say how they wished they could stay like this forever. You and her. Together. Finally happy. You'd smile, cheeks warming a soft pink, before your arms wrapped tighter around her waist, legs tangling together creating a perfectly entangled mess.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll never let you go."

That's usually where the dream ends. Waking up to cold sheets, no you by her side. Poorly dimmed room setting the precedent that her life feels just a little more empty without that part of you in it.

ღ I laugh along like nothing's wrong, four days has never felt so long

If three's a crowd and two was us, one slipped away

"Bye, you'd guys would make a cute little old lesbian couple!" Katie laughed as she watched you and Jo bickering over something so tiny. Naomi nodding their head in agreement, a small chuckle escaping their lips.

You laughed, a weird feeling settling in your stomach. You'd never even looked at Jo that way. So why would others think the opposite of you? You had a boyfriend.

Jo had noticed the look you gave her. Your joking and feigned annoyance over the small tussle, now shutting down the unserious side of you. It was because Katie had made a lesbian joke when you were straight, right?

Could you never think of her in such a way that when a joke is made, you get uncomfortable? Jo didn't want to over analyze so they laughed, albeit it was dry and short. A small pang in her chest, she wiped the tip of her nose, taking a deep breath and started to scroll on her phone.

She only had a day and a couple hours left to endure of this painful 4-day getaway friends trip. They just wanted it to be over.

ღ I just wanna make you feel okay

But all you do is look the other way

"Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay, baby?" Baby. She knew she should stop calling you that. That's something she's only ever heard him call you. Nicknames like that weren't reserverad for someone like her in your life.

"I'm okay, I could just really use a hug right now." You sighed, tears starting to well up in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around her neck, her arms finding place on your waist.

"What do you need? Let me make you feel better, yeah?" Josette pulled away from you, her arms going from either side of your upper arms, to lifting your chin so you could see her. So she could look you in your pained eyes once, to see that she never wanted them to look that way again.

"Hey, you called me?" Jo recognized his voice anywhere. Your boyfriend. Of course. She should have known he'd be the first one you called. They should have known that whatever was bothering you, whoever made you cry, what ever you were struggling with, the burden was yours to carry and his to help.

How naive of Jo to think that maybe this once, you'd actually want her. Need her, to help you.

ღ I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay

I just kinda wish you were gay

The more Jo had thought about yours and hers relationship, the more she thought about just up and leaving. She hates to admit that she spent a good amount of time every now and then wondering what her life would be like without you in it.

She knew what she felt was real, she knew you wouldn't ever give her a shot. The friendship was great. Blissful. But what could she possibly stay for if whenever she was around you, the crippling feeling of longing and yearning to feel you and know you completely; all of you, was something so impossible?

The way she felt...the way she wanted you to love her. It was so strong that she prayed that you'd soon realize that maybe he wasn't the right man for you and what you needed was her. A woman.

She wished you were gay. She wished it was her you longed to be with. To feel their skin. To know them so deeply and romantically that whatever you did, you did it because you loved them. Not him.

It was wrong. It was wrong that she wished your healthy relationship that made you happy, would crash and burn like her mind, heart and soul, whenever you walked into a room. How she prayed for impending doom on two happy people so she could be the one to make you happy. It was selfish. It was wrong.

You weren't gay, but god, she wished you were.

ღ Is there a reason we're not through?

Is there a 12-step just for you?

Our conversation's all in blue

11 "heys"

Ten fingers tearin' out my hair

Nine times, you never made it there

I ate alone at seven, you were six minutes away

Josette knew the only thing holding this friendship together was her. She didn't have to stay, have to be here. She didn't need to make herself feel this way.

You had him. You spent most of your time with him, most of your guys' plans cancelled or postponed because he needed something.

As a silent lover, she watched as you made time for him. Showed up for him. Yeah, you showed up for Jo too, but never with as much love and passion as you had for him. You did actually, but just not the kind that Josette wanted. You chose him. She just wished you chose her instead.

This was no different. You had plans to meet up for lunch. This nice cafe, in the middle of both your residing areas and it was all going to happen at 2. Soon, the first five minute of waiting turned into 15. Then to 30. Multiple messages sent to you waiting for an ETA.

You responded in seconds with a short response of a emergency on his side of the family. Jo sighed, the dull and aching feeling rising in her chest again.

They had to stop thinking swooping you away from him was going to change the fact that you weren't into girls. Jo had known you caught on.

Maybe this was her punishment: All the forced proximity and trying to change something already set in stone, was rejection by the one person she sought acception from. This was you pushing her away. God how could she be so stupid.

Jo was never going to change your mind, maybe this was the only way you could tell her without breaking her heart. Letting her eat alone...be alone.

ღ How am I supposed to make you feel okay

When all you do is walk the other way?

I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay

I just kinda wish you were gay

When you started having problems with him, Jo heard about it. To Jo, it seemed that she was only here for you when he wasn’t. That wasn’t even true. It’s just the way her mind chose to see it, to be able to cope with the rejection she took in an absolute way.

She shouldn’t have let these feelings get in the way. She was setting herself up.

Josette couldn’t fathom loving anyone else with her whole being. It’d take a nuclear act of god to get her to stop her life from circling around you. The purgatory that was loving you when you couldn’t love her the way she wanted you to, was something she’d take over anyone else. The constant suffering was worth it.

You always ran to him for your romantic needs. But Jo’s heart had always ran back to you. She knew you knew. You just know she could never act on it without you setting up a block. So you did it all the time when you were around her.

Maybe in another universe or lifetime, she’d get to have you and experience different parts of you the way he did.

ღ To spare my pride

To give your lack of interest, an explanation

Don't say I'm not your type

Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation

You may have looked at your boyfriend with heart eyes and the most romantic, endearment and adoration and with Josette, you looked at her the same.

Platonically binded by both your caring souls, like mindedness, and mutual interests. She was your soulmate in bestfriend form. You had certainly thought that if you had liked girls, or if Jo had been a boy, you’d love to love her in more ways than one.

But she wasn’t. Something about you two, together in this lifetime, was something that felt wrong. She was always meant to be your bestfriend. Nothing more. Josette had understood that.

She understood that it’s something you had grown up to understand was something that wasn’t socially accepted, atleast by your family. So she understood why you couldn’t pursue something romantic together.

She felt that maybe you did love her, maybe even felt the attraction, but she just wasn’t a man. The idea was unsettling to swallow at first—but it appeased her brain to know that it could happen…if the circumstances were different.

ღ I'm so selfish

But you make me feel helpless, yeah

And I can't stand another day

Stand another day

The longing was weighing down. The burden of carrying such a strong but passionate love for someone who couldn’t physically return it was starting to fuck with Jo.

She knew it was selfish to pray that you’d change your mind about your sexual orientation. To pray that you have always been that way but wanted to hide it. She prayed for any possibility that’d allow you to love her how she wished you did.

But she knew it’d never work. No matter what she said or did, nothing was going to change your mind.

She knew that; they couldn’t stand this anymore. It was becoming too much for her. The attachment and attraction blossomed more than she could’ve imagined. She needed to stop. Needed to forget you. Needed someone else.

But she couldn’t do that to you. Her body and soul couldn’t allow it. She couldn’t stand to breathe the same air as you if you weren’t breathing it together. How could she form a new connection and love someone so deeply when every part of her had already belonged to you.

Together. Together. Together. It’s all she’s ever wanted.

ღ I just wanna make you feel okay

But all you do is look the other way, hmm

I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay

I just kinda wish you were gay

It was on her face, in her eyes, everytime they looked at you. You couldn’t bare seeing Jo in it so deeply and you couldn’t return it. You never wanted someone to break Jo’s heart.

It just never occurred to you that you were the one doing it. Everytime they looked at you, they always thought the same thing.

“I just wish you were gay”

Repeated like a never ending song in her brain. Everytime she was with you, she wanted to confess the feelings that she’s been carrying ever since you guys met. It was overwhelming and heartbreaking but a privilege.

Jo would rather you break her heart a little more everyday than anyone at all. She’d settle for the possibility of her possibly being able to change your mind about girls than forget the way you made every inch of her feel.

To feel love in the most absolute way. It was a privilege to love someone like you. So it was either she had to repeat the mantra in her mind and just go on about their day, pretending everything was fine, or not have you at all. She’d choose the first one everytime.

Cause she knew…in another life, you two would have it all. You be running to her. For anything. Whether it was for comfort or romantic endeavors. She’d be the one you’d choose.

You two would be together.

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homuradefender · 21 days

Text

Bronseele(Hsr), angst, comfort, written for @weirdestyantaofan

Synopsis: Bronya doesn't like physical touch, but she makes an exception for Seele. After the death of Cocolia, her mother, she finds herself crying in Seele's arms.

Bronya was sure she was gonna die, or at least, the thought was there and it was strong. But instead of her being the one to die it was her mother, the Supreme Guardian, Cocolia. The smile on Cocolia's face only moments before she perished would forever haunt her nightmares, maybe it should have been her who died. Those were the thoughts that plagued her the following days, was she even cut out to replace Cocolia? The doubt clogged her mind, but she pushed it back and tried to appear fine. And for the most part, everyone thought she was fine, except for Seele. Something was wrong and she knew it, but with all that was happening it was hard to even get a moment alone with bronya. Give the woman some space, she thought to herself as she saw people crowding Bronya.

The hype had died down a small amount, which Seele knew she needed to take advantage of, just so she could check in on Bronya. When the chance came she snuck through the hallways, she knew where Bronya's office was by now, she was sure of that at least. It was late, the only sound heard though out the hallways were Seele's footsteps. It was eerie. When she found the correct door she waited outside a few minutes before opening the door, she would knock but she sensed there was something urgent waiting for her behind the door. As if there was no time to wait, nonetheless knock on a door.

'Bronya?' Her head shot up immediately, silent tears clouding her vision, she had specifically requested no one come in this late, whoever it was really had no common sense. Oh, she quickly snapped herself out of her thoughts when she realized who had intruded her time, 'Seele? ' Her eyes flickered, then adjusted, she wiped the tears out of her eyes. 'What are you doing he-' Bronya was cut off, 'I knew something was wrong but I didn't know it had gotten this bad. ' Seele sounded annoyed? No, concerned. Concerned? Concerned for Bronya out of all people. 'I'm fine Seele, it's late you need rest. ' She spoke up, ashamed she got caught. But Seele was one to never back down, she made her way to the desk, standing on the other side across Bronya. 'Why didn't you tell me? ' She mumbled, the concern dripping in her voice. 'I'm fine, there was just something in my eye. ' Bronya lied, it was to late for this she was not in the mood for this conversation, nonetheless with Seele, it was embarrassing. She felt exposed. Not listening, Seele walked over to Bronya, now standing beside her and knelt down, 'This isn't something in your eye. ' She sighed, 'You really need to take care of yourself. ' Seele got Bronya up and wrapped her arms around Bronya, how it had been a while since she had managed to get this close. 'Your eyes are red.' Seele whispered, it was only the two of them in the room but she felt like she had to whisper. 'It's merely an allergy I'm fine. ' Seele snapped, 'Stop lying to yourself! Stop lying to me! Anyone with a brain can tell you're not fine.' That's what broke Bronya, she couldn't hide how she felt as she let it all out, crying into Seele's arms, letting all the pain, the hurt, she felt out. This wasn't was Seele was expecting, unsure what to do she held Bronya tighter, patting her back rhythmically as Bronya let it out. When Bronya had no more tears left to cry, Seele pulled away slightly and gave her best encouraging smile, 'Let's get you to bed. ' Bronya didn't fight it and let Seele walk her back to her room. When Bronya had put on something more comfortable, Seele helped her get into bed, before she could leave a hand wrapped around her arm gently. 'Stay. ' Seele looked down, Bronya was asking her to stay. She hopped up into bed and let Bronya cuddles up to her chest, in mere minutes the Supreme Guardian was passed out, buried into Seele's chest. 'Take care for yourself, please. ' Seele mumbled one last time before finding herself falling asleep.

#bronya hsr #hsr seele #seele #bronya rand #bronya #bronya x seele #bronseele #honkai star rail #light angst #angst with comfort #wlw #wlw sfw #wlw angst #cry #CRY

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lenybunny · 12 days

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— ✿RULES & MASTERLIST✿ —

✿RULES:

—things i write:

mostly smut, some occasional fluff, angst, etc…

mostly oneshots, but i’ll do multiple parts of things if requested!

i only write fem!celeb x fem!reader (i write poly situations as long as reader is involved)

non-celeb AU

—things i don’t write:

anything smutty involving minors

noncon, yandere, ageplay, anything with animals, any other things of that sort

g!p

stories with JUST celeb x celeb

male readers or male celebs

butt stuff

fetishes (NONE, absolutely NONE)

—general:

i can’t do every single request i receive, but if your req helps me write anything, i will mention it in the a/n

if you are putting prompts along with a req, please don’t put too many

don’t hesitate to tell me if you think anything is wrong with a story or tags!

please let me know about grammatical/spelling mistakes in the fics so i can fix them. i try my best to catch them all, but sometimes i just don’t notice

✿PROMPTS:

—all of these were originally written for my kpop blog, please disregard the ones that mentions idols/maknae/etc

bratty/degrading/etc smut

first time/inexperienced smut

praise/soft/etc smut

misc smut

threesome smut

kinks

angst/fluff

✿MASTERLIST:

✿COMING SOON:

regina x reader - “eclipse” (smut)

fics on my alts (@airaibunny + @tcubunny)

✿MY ANONS

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novacqnes · 1 year

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jolene // sevika

summary: jolene was beautiful, she could’ve had anyone she wanted in the undercity but just so happened to set her sights on sevika, your girlfriend.

warning: jealousy, angst, alcohol, kissing, mentions of cheating

word count: 2.2k

pairing: sevika x fem reader

a/n: 🎧 i love writing fics based off of songs so jolene by dolly parton is my next victim

the last drop was even more crowded than usual. bright lights beamed down on customers as they over indulged in drinks and pointless conversations. a distinct smell of alcohol and tobacco pervaded the air making it a chore to breathe. you pushed through the crowd, blending into a sea of drunken bodies as you scanned the room.

normally sevika would’ve been in her chair playing poker with the rest of silco’s guys, but when you reached the table her seat was empty. nevertheless you continued on your pursuit passing by the bar when you a soft giggle came from behind the counter, it was utterly unfamiliar— and enticing.

being sevika’s girlfriend came with many perks, thus you practically knew everyone that frequented the bar, especially those that worked in it. surely she would’ve told you if someone new had begun working there, right?

you followed the voice, narrowly bumping into a few people when you heard a second. this one was deeper, more guttural, and unmistakably sevika’s. nearing the bar you found the two. the mystery voice belonged to a woman, she was tall with rich ginger locks that fell at her shoulders. her eyes were a bright green, bringing out her delicate porcelain skin. without a doubt she was stunning.

sevika’s eyes glimmered as she gazed at the woman, sparking a feeling of jealousy within you. you couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked at you like that, with such desire and interest. it took everything in you not to cause a scene.

“can i get you something?”

your cheeks felt a warm buzz as both the bartenders and your girlfriends eyes landed on you just a few feet away. you ambled towards them taking the closest seat next to her in order to send a direct message. sevika was yours.

“what are you doing here?” sevika whispered, slinging an arm around your waist. she awkwardly shifted between you and the ginger, secretly hoping either one of you would break the silence.

“i wanted to surprise you..…who’s this?”

although not entirely noticeable the jealousy crept into your voice revealing itself in more ways than one. yet sevika was oblivious, she flashed the ginger a sly grin, gesturing to her spot on the opposite side of the counter.

“jolene, she’s the new bartender. jolene this is my girl, y/n.” there was a certain warmth in sevika’s tone and choice of words that hugged you just the right way. it established a fine line that you hoped was received by jolene.

“enough with the formalities, any friend of sevika’s is a friend of mine. you can call me jo.” she chirped, outstretching a hand towards you.

a grossly intricate knot twisted and turned in your stomach at her words. friend? sevika was not your friend. she was someone you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and in a matter of a few seconds she’d reduced it to pointless school romance. but maybe you were overreacting, after all sevika didn’t have a problem with it, why should you?

nevertheless, you pushed the thought to the back of your mind shaking her smooth hand. she had no calluses, marks, cuts or scratches. it took everything not to admire her as she pulled away, she was unarguably beautiful and you knew sevika could see it too. you despised the way her gray eyes roamed over her body, stirring great envy deep inside of you.

“jo was just telling me about the time she used shimmer to make a cocktail.”

“really?” you gasped, feigning interest.

was there anything else this woman couldn’t do?

“oh she's exaggerating, it was nothing.”

jolene bowed her head modestly, deflecting from sevika’s heavy gaze. but she couldn’t disguise the dash of red smeared across her cheeks, nor the dimples revealing themselves as a flirty smile spread across lips. the scene sent a wave of nausea straight to your stomach the longer you watched it unfold, you were losing control. but it was something you never had.

“i’d love to hear about it.”

“no really i can’t,” she replied dismissively.

“why not?”

she allowed your question to hang in the air for a while as she poured herself a drink. she sauntered over to the two of you, leaving her post behind the bar. her posture and poise, it was something that you couldn’t help but envy as she approached you. taking the seat opposite of sevika. she leaned in, gently brushing her shoulder against your girlfriend. which she completely seemed unfazed by, much to your disdain.

“see if i told you…then i’d have to kill you.”

her emerald eyes met yours and for a second you froze. there was a slight tinge to them, a sparkle that deeply unsettled you. jolene wasn’t aware of her beauty. she didn’t see the way sevika’s eyes followed her with pure lust and desire. she could’ve had anyone that she wanted, yet she wanted your girlfriend, and you knew it. you forced a smile to your face, desperately trying to ignore the seeds of doubt sowing themselves in your mind.

after a few mere moments of silence she bursted out into a fit of giggles, drawing confused looks from both you and sevika.

“i’m just kidding,” she beamed, “i’ll stop by your place one day, teach you everything i know.” her eyes found their way back to sevika on the last word.

before you could say anything else she began again, this time turning all of her attention towards your girlfriend. the woman practically oozed confidence, even going as far as to put her hand on sevika’s arm during one of her jokes.

she kept it there for god knows how long, completely ignoring your presence. her eyelashes fluttered adding even more to her seductive allure. you wrestled with the urge to vomit, silently grappling with jealousy. without another word you quietly bid them both a goodbye, nearing the brink of tears as you walked away.

a few nights later you were home alone, waiting for sevika to come home. it wasn’t rare for her to be late, but when she was it was evident as to where she’d been.

she collapsed on the bed with a thud, reaching for you on the opposite side. but the wretched smell of alcohol lingering in the air forced you to pull away. it was suffocating and it forced those same emerald eyes back into the center your mind.

jolene.

you knew sevika was spending more time with her just by the way she talked. she couldn’t go an hour without gushing about her and you couldn’t stand it. exasperated you stormed toward the windows, swinging them open before you joined her back on the bed.

“missed you.” she hummed, inching towards you.

“i missed you too sev.”

the words were short but they rang true— for you at least. you missed when being with her didn’t feel like a constant battle for attention. or endless rambling about a woman who viewed her as nothing more than a sex symbol.

eventually you couldn’t help but give in, allowing sevika to pull you into her arms. restoring a deep feeling of comfort that you'd been deprived of for weeks. you ran your hands over her muscles, drawing circles into them as you slowly began to lose yourself in her.

“let me take care of you,” she whispered, pressing soft kisses to your exposed skin. her lips trailed from your chest to your neck, prompting a buzz of warmth wherever they landed. the passion you’d been longing for was slowly being ignited. you leaned into it, allowing yourself to truly feel the pleasure as sevika hands lowered. it felt heavenly, the gentle breeze from the windows created a calming lull that made it even easier to unwind. but a gust of wind blew through the bedroom bringing it to a halt.

you enjoyed the fresh air, it kept you sane in moments like these, but this time it did the complete opposite. the scent of liquor from the last drop cabinet and a mixture of jolene’s riveting perfume filled the room, sickening you. and any semblance of desire that you had for sevika that night quickly vanished.

“stop— i can’t. not tonight.” you snapped, pulling your body from hers. she didn’t ask you why, simply watching as you turned away, sobbing into the pillow beside her. that night she maintained her distance, quietly falling asleep to dreams of a woman that wasn’t you. but unbeknownst to her you were fully awake, and able to hear every word and phrase that escaped from her lips.

gradually after a while the jolene talk seemed to die down, and you felt like things were finally returning back to the way they once were. sevika would come home earlier than ever and when did all of her attention was yours. so much so that you often found yourself forgetting about the bartender.

on one particular day you guys were set to go out together but sevika was running a bit behind schedule. she sat at the table replacing the shimmer in her arm when she noticed she was missing some.

“jo, could you pass me the vial?”

the words fell from her mouth seamlessly, she almost didn’t realize her mistake. you craned your head in her direction, narrowing your eyes as you approached her.

“what did you just call me?” you spat, venom seeping into your voice. white hot anger bubbled inside of you with each step, your thoughts becoming more jumbled as they echoed through your mind.

liar. cheater.

“shit y/n, i didn’t mean—“ she rose from her seat, a remorseful expression plastered across her face.

“you’re such a liar.”

“what?”

sevika’s expression morphed from that of remorse to confusion. her dark brows furrowed, gray eyes narrowed and her lips pulled into a tight line. your heart was rapidly beating out of your chest, you were incapable of thinking clearly, ignoring the blatant change in her features. at that moment, sevika was guilty, even if you didn’t know what the crime was.

“i thought it was done, that you were done with her.” you seethed, pushing the boundary until you were directly underneath her. your tone was vile and accusatory, with the purpose of digging deep. you wanted her to hurt.

“baby i see jolene everyday.”

sevika tried her best to remain calm but it was proving difficult, with each sharp remark your voice only got louder, prompting her to do the same. she’d never seen you with such rage and she didn’t know what to do with it. she tried to reach out to touch you but you yanked your shoulder back in disgust, not even daring to look at her.

“are you fucking her?”

the question rang through sevika’s mind forcing her to step towards you for the first time during the whole ordeal. her fists clenched at her sides and gray eyes darted between yours. it was like she couldn’t fathom whether this was real or not, and you weren’t sure if that was a good sign.

she sighed, “i wouldn’t do that to you.”

“it’s either a yes or no, if you can’t answer that then i’m gone.”

she stepped closer, continuing until she was right in front of you. she plucked the vial from chair, turning to look at you once more.

“no.”

for the first time that night you truly saw desperation in her eyes. that was something you could count on, if there was anything on sevika’s body that gave herself away it was her eyes, they’d never deceive you.

“it was a stupid crush— nothing more. when i felt like things were going too far, i put an end to it,” she said sternly.

you shifted uncomfortably, vile images of sevika and jolene together permeating your mind. it pained you to ask but you couldn’t continue to have it loom over you nor your relationship.

“what things?” you asked, refusing to meet her eye.

“we almost kissed.”

the familiar feeling of nausea writhed within your stomach as you turned away from sevika but she was done hiding. she slid her arms around you, offering you the comfort that you so deeply needed. except this time it felt authentic and not propelled by drunken desire. despite the frenzied thoughts you leaned into it, allowing yourself to simply trust her.

“you don’t have to look at me, that’s okay, just listen.” she whispered.

“i love you. and i haven’t been good to you these last few months, i know that. you have every right to go but i don’t wanna lose you.”

“i don’t know if i believe you,” you faltered, fresh tears welling in the corners of your ears. you turned your face to meet hers, desperately hoping that her words matched her eyes, it was the only way you would know for sure.

“i wouldn’t be here trying to make this work if i didn’t love you,” she cooed.

her gaze was soft but her eyes were fierce like she was pleading with you. they never once left yours and they didn’t change. this was sevika in her rawest form and it was the most vulnerable she’d been with you throughout your entire relationship. which oddly enough you had jolene to thank. tears fell freely from your eyes, blurring your vision but you leaned into her. allowing sevika to hold you as you succumbed to weeks of pent up emotion.

when you’d first met jolene you fooled yourself into believing that she was some cunning seductress with the ability to destroy your relationship. but little did either of you know she would be the driving force that led you two to saving it.

#arcane #sevika #sevika arcane #arcane sevika #arcane x reader #sevika x reader #sevika x fem reader #sevika x female reader #sevika x you #sevika x y/n #sevika angst #sevika fanfic #sevika fanfiction #arcane fanfiction #wlw angst #sapphic #wlw

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jellysaidshit · 1 month

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Our Story. Chapter 3.

Content warnings: alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking, partying, angst angst angst

Tag list: @badaseyebags (as or dm to be added!)

"I’m telling you, Beau, we totally should do that,” Ash sounded very excited about whatever it was as they entered the house. So excited it made Winston, the bullterrier, jump up from the place he was peacefully napping at. He barked at a pink haired person once and turned back to his owner, Nyx.

“Ash, this place is tiny,” Beau tried to sound rational as she reasoned with her enthusiastic friend. “Also, you’re not the only one living here.” she nodded at the oldest girl who was sitting on the sofa. Beau was right, Nyx was the one who made it clear she doesn’t like anything too loud or too messy.

“But a welcome party is a necessary thing!” Chubby person exclaimed as they put their bag on the bar stool before reaching for a drink in the fridge. The way they acted seemed so childish to Nyx, all the absurd sweaters and pink hair, smoking and love for chocolate. In her eyes they were the sibling that never grew up.

“It is, I agree, but it’s not like just me and you live here,” the shorter girl still tried to calm the other person. She took a sip of Ash's drink, and Ash's face showed clear disappointment. “Alright, if you wanna do it, I won’t be against it.” Beau seemed to be childish too, but not as childish as Ash. Her style was more mature, but occasional pigtails or pink pieces of clothes reminded Nyx of a middle schoolers. That only made Nyx feel like Beau was her younger sister.

“What are you two on about?” River walked out of her room, rubbing her eyes. Nyx heard her returning back very late at night the day before, so she wasn’t shocked when the girl woke up at 4pm. “I swear these walls are made out of cardboard.” She mumbled as she walked to the fridge to get something to eat. River was the youngest, but she was the most mature out of the three. Nyx was curious about her, but she also felt like it wasn’t worth it to get close to any of them.

“Ashie wants to throw a welcome party to celebrate us moving in.” Beau explained as Ash just nodded along. “If I’m being honest, I wouldn’t be against it. It’s just that me and them aren’t the only ones living here.” she looked at the long-haired girl as Ash moved to sit on the chair.

“If it’s at our place, I don’t mind.” River shrugged as she walked back past Beau with a food container in her hand to sit next to Ash. “As long as everyone is okay.” She looked at the shorter girl, making Beau blush and Ash smirk.

“No parties in this house.” Nyx said as she turned back to her laptop.

“Just as I predicted,” Beau mumbled. She looked at Ash, who was already starting to get heated.

“But why, Nyx?” they exclaimed as they looked at the oldest girl.

“My house, my rules,” was all she said before putting her earphones back on.

“Fun police,” Ash mumbled as they took their bag and walked to their room, slamming the door like a child.

Beau looked at River and bit her bottom lip. Her bag in her hand, she didn’t know what the right thing was to do. Party for sure sounded fun, but if one of the roommates was against it there was nothing she could do really. Taking a cookie from the counter she walked to her room while River stayed to eat her first meal of the day.

“Also, could you come back earlier, River?” Nyx said not turning to the girl. River swallowed the food and looked at the older girl. “As you said, the walls are thin, and I hear every step you take to your room.” with that, the oldest girl grabbed her stuff and moved towards her room as Winston followed her. As Ash started blasting Måneskin, River took a deep breath and continued her meal.

###

Two days after, Ash got home from their class a bit later than usual. The first thing she saw were Beau and River on the couch, Winston between them as they discussed something.

“Aw, cute,” they giggled as they noticed that they were watching a movie. “But I have the good news,” they raised an eyebrow.

“What news?” Beau asked them.

“Art major is going on two-day field trip,” the chubby person giggled.

“No, Ash.” Beau stood up and walked to her friend.

“Yes, Beau,” they smirked at the shorter girl. “It’s gonna be only close friends party, we will clean after, and she will not even know!” They said in a quieter tone while moving to sit on the armchair. Looking at River, they asked, “Riv, are you in?”

“I won’t be here that night,” the black-haired girl answered. “But I will not tell Nyx anything if you’re gonna do it.” She answered as she got up and stared at Ash. “If you really wanna do it, I say go for it.”

“Alright, Beau.” Ash smirked as they looked back at their best friend. “You heard that, right? Let's do it, please?” They pouted as they asked Beau to back them up.

“Alright.” Beau exhaled as she ruffled pink hair on her bestie’s head. “But in case we get busted, I’m blaming you.”

###

“Nova, baby!” Ash shouted over the loud music that was blasting in the apartment’s living room. They stumbled over to the newcomers, already tipsy from several shots and a glass of peach highball. Person hugged their friend, Nova, tightly as Beau walked over with two glasses of something that smelled like fruit cider. Passing the glasses to the newcomers, she pulled Ash off the poor girl.

“Ash, Beau!” Nova smiled as she pinched pink haired person’s cheek. “This place is nice!”

“Very nice,” Added another friend, Bun. “Bigger than the one we had to share.”

As the time went, Ash got tipsier, more people came over and music went louder, but Beau got more and more anxious. She was also drinking, maybe less than Ash, but still the feeling didn’t leave her. That feeling that is like a warning as if something is gonna happen.

And she must have been a fortune teller in her past life. Just as she was about to down her drink, the front door opened. After that, everything felt like it was in slow motion: Nyx stood there with her mouth open, her bag fell on the floor, as she shouted Ash’s name.

Nyx tried to take a deep breath, but she felt like she was drowning. The music felt like it was squishing her body as she stood there, trying to come back to reality. All she could think of was the smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies dancing in the middle of the room.

Except those bodies weren’t her roommates' friends. They were her parents and their friends. The alcohol wasn’t highballs and expensive vodka, it was cheap booze and beer. She wasn’t herself; she was five years old again and she lived in a one room apartment that she shared with her parents.

She saw Ash with a bottle of vodka in their hand as they poured a drink to someone she didn’t know. She saw Beau looking at her and at others. She felt her knees give up, and when it happened Beau rushed to her side.

“Ash!!! Stop the music!” The younger girl shouted as she ran towards Nyx. As she reached to help the older girl up, but she pulled away as she tried to take a deeper breath. Ash rushed to turn off the music while shouting at others to leave. “Nyx, I’m sorry, we both are so sorry.”

Beau tried to help the girl again as she slowly got back on her feet, but she didn’t let her. Instead, she shouted, “I... I told you! No parties or alcohol in this house!” She stepped into the living space as the guests left.

A couple minutes later, it was just Ash and Beau standing in front of Nyx. Her breath was now calming down as she drank water.

“It is my fault, Nyx,” Ash said after they came clean about their idea. “I thought you’d be back tomorrow, I’m sorry.”

“There are reasons why I don’t let you get drunk in this house and why I don’t like the fact you and River smoke.” the oldest girl took a deep breath as she tried to hold her tears. She sat down on the couch. “I can’t stand it. I cannot.”

Ash was slightly swaying from side to side as they leaned on the armchair. They pouted as they shook their head. “But it wasn’t even that many people!” they exclaimed and hissed as Beau pinched them.

“Two people, twenty two or two hundred – I do not care!” Nyx said, her voice loud and clear. “No parties and no poison were the only rules I pushed, and those were the rules you didn’t care about!”

Her eyes were suddenly clouded by tears. The oldest girl was so angry at them, and with every moment both Ash and Beau seemed so childish, so young, so irresponsible. Nyx hated that, yet the pain from her future was telling her to save them, to look after them.

She put down the glass as she stood up from the couch.

“Well, I’m gonna leave for the whole day tomorrow.” She said, biting her cheek. “And when I come back, I want the apartment look and smell like the new one. I don’t fucking care how bad your hangover is, cleaning up was one of the rules too.”

She sniffed and, picking up her bag, left towards her room. Ash, who was standing proud while Nyx was talking to them, collapsed on the floor and leaned their head on the armchair, sobbing.

“Beau, she hates me,” they quietly cried as Beau sat next to them. “She hates me, I’m dumb, and childish, and...”

Beau hugged her best friend. “No, she doesn’t hate you.” she tried to calm them down. “She has her reasons, she said that, Ashie. Now, let’s go to sleep, we need to clean tomorrow.”

Author's note: Thank you for reading this! Please feel free to like and/or reblog the story if you like it!

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yeahyankee · 8 months

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As - Imogen Temult x Laudna Fanfic [Contains Spoilers for C3]

It was hard to describe, exactly, the tender dread of loving someone. It was like holding a hot cup and a cold one in either hand, the brain suddenly certain it was on fire.

The marriage of joy and terror, finger picking together across heartstrings--of the darkness suddenly shifting to a blinding, dazzling perception--being seen and seeing, how your life could suddenly be different, possibly more authentic, maybe more true.

Imogen was used to being scared--it was one of her oldest emotions, next to anger. She'd learned how to hide, lie, and bury what meant most to her. But laying next to Laudna in the dark, under the eaves of Nell's tiny burrow, she felt a different fear bloom in her once again.

Drops of black ink in a bath tub, rippling and staining the water, her skin, the porcelain.

I prayed to her like a god.

The thought made her whole body tighten. Her mind raced as she ran her hand through Laudna's dark hair. What if she traded in their life together for one of Delilah's party tricks? Prayed to a god who could only take, but not give.

Her chest thrummed, live with the painful, barbed fear--Laudna was back, and they'd lived through so much already, almost lost each other again countless times. That couldn't be in vain, it had to amount to something.

But knowing Delilah wasn't dead made their hope seem so delicate now, like one wrong move and this all would all disintegrate. Laudna would be stolen away again, except this time by something far darker, robbed from the very inside.

A warm sigh, and a shift in her sleep, and Laudna was repositioned with the points of her shoulders pressing against Imogen's chest. The weight of her felt good here. It brought her back to the present.

She was still here, now.

Imogen swept her in, impossibly close, and held her tight. Laudna's hair smelled like woodsmoke, resin, fallen pine needles. Quiet, wild woods. She pictured folding her away, safe, into her body, where no one could ever harm her, like a tide rolling over the smooth stones of a shore.

Laudna's even breaths, and the crickets outside eventually lulled her into an exhausted half-sleep.

If they lived in a world where gods could come hurtling down to the ground, she'd rip every one out of the sky herself.

She owed her that much.

#critical role campaign 3 #critrole spoilers #critical role spoilers #critrole c3 #imogen x laudna #imodna #imogen temult #southerngothic #laudna #wlw angst #the yearnin y'all!#As by Becca Stevens and Jacob Collier

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bonnibuckets · 9 months

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I made an Ada x fem reader angst story

you will read it when i post and love it and think it’s amazing

you wanna read it soooo bad

#🪻thoughts #ada wong #ada wong x you #ada wong x reader #ada wong x y/n #wlw angst #resident evil angst #ada wong resident evil

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idontplaytrack · 5 days

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Stronger

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader

Warnings: child loss, coarse language, depression, anxiety

Continuation to ‘Distress’.

(Pictures used above are from Pinterest)

Leaving Janis' hospital room, you were met with Regina again. And Damian. "I have to go meet up with another doctor to settle everything else. You guys don't have to wait for me."

"Wait? We're coming with you." Damian says.

"You don't have to say anything, just know we're here if you need anything." You made your way to a certain doctor's office that Janis' doctor told you to head to. There, your first decision to make was whether or not to wait till Janis had woken so she could see the baby and say goodbye. "Her doctor says she's just out of it from anaesthesia right now. She'll be awake before you know it. We don't have to rush the process, y/n. There's no fixed timeline on all this.”

"Sarah, is there anything I can do right now? I have to fill in a certificate, right?"

"Yes, I will go get that." She nodded solemnly.

When she came back, she hands you a piece of paper and a pen. "The team is preparing a memory box for your daughter in the meantime. It will be given to you and Janis once it's ready."

"Okay." You sniffed, clicking the pen.

“Take your time. I’ll be right here if you have any questions.” Sarah says. Nodding, you looked at the first blank. Name.

You and Janis talked about this all night long one night. It was decided. Her first name was, but her middle name was still all up in the air.

‘MALIA’ You wrote. Swallowing your tears, you tried to recall yours and Janis’ options for her middle name.

You stared at the barely-filled certificate for a while before you finally made a decision: Hōkūlani.

Beloved, heavenly star. It seemed like a perfect fit to you and you knew Janis would agree. You knew how important it was to her for names to be meaningful and carrying on her culture.

You filled in all the information you knew and gave it back to Sarah. “Thanks.” She smiled, keeping the sheet on paper into a file. “When Janis wakes up, her team will walk you two through what to expect during recovery from the c-section. A different team, specialising in grief will also be connecting with the two of you to help you both during this time in any way you may need.”

“Alright, thank you.”

“No problem. y/n, if you wish to see your daughter first, you may head up to level 13- room C708.”

Once again, Damian and Regina were waiting for you in the waiting room. You were having a debate with yourself about whether or not to see Malia before Janis did. “Paperwork’s done.” You told them quietly.

“Now you need to eat. Janis would kill us if she found out you hadn’t eaten anything nearly all day.”

“Fine.” You took some deep breaths to calm yourself down, “Can you guys come with me afterwards, to go upstairs so I can see Malia?”

“Oh, you picked out a name already? I love it.” Damian put an arm around your shoulder, “Of course we will go with you.”

“Cady’s taking us outside of the hospital for something to eat. The food here is atrocious.” Regina checked her phone, “We will be back right after we eat. You need some fresh air.”

While you nibbled on your burger, Regina took a picture of you. “What are you doing?” You looked at her tiredly.

“Giving our friends proof that you’re fed.” Regina stated matter-of-factly.

“Her name’s Malia, you said?” Regina asks. Damian glares at her. “It’s fine, Damian.” You told him. “What does it mean?”

“Beloved.” You answered, “Janis has loved this name from the moment she heard it. Her middle name was between Jayne and Hōkūlani. I went with Hōkūlani because it was more meaningful and directly connected to Janis’ culture.”

“Heavenly star.” Regina reads off her phone, “Fuck, that is a beautiful name.”

“So beautiful.” Damian agrees.

“It almost feels too on the nose.” You sighed.

“And that’s okay.” Damian says, “You like it, you use it. It’s not up to anybody else but you and your wife.”

After dinner, and also a much, much needed break from the chaotic environment of the hospital, Cady drove you, Regina and Damian back. Janis was still drifting in and out, according to the nurse on nightshift. “y/n?” The nurse says, “I heard her say your name a few times but she never really opened her eyes. But given the time since the procedure, she will be fully awake soon. Her doctor ordered an anti-emetic to counter the side effect of the anaesthetic, but vomiting is still possible. So don’t worry if it does happen.”

————

Damian stepped inside the hospital room with you. At first, Regina wasn’t allowed to go in together but Janis’ doctor made an exception. “I’m back, my love.” You grab her hand again, informing her of your presence. You knew she could hear you, she was just groggy.

She squeezes your hand, her eyes slowly fluttered open. “Oh, God. Hi, baby.” You leaned closer, “Hi.”

Janis not laid down flat was definitely helpful because she almost immediately threw up. Her arm instinctively splinted her abdomen. Damian took care of the emesis bucket, Janis looked at you, then at Regina. “I know what happened. I was awake for most of it.” She admitted, “Our baby’s gone.” You caressed her cheek, trying not to cry while she was also tearing up. You carefully manoeuvred yourself so you could hug her without hurting her, “It’s okay.”

She nodded, but was sobbing into your shoulder. You rubbed her back in the meantime, letting her do what she needed to do. “It hurts. Everything hurts but I chose this- we’ll be fine. I promise.”

You pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Of course, my love. We’ll be okay, just let me take care of you right now, okay? Don’t worry about anything right now.”

“You named her?”

“I did.” You informed her, “Malia Hōkūlani ‘Imi’ike.”

She nodded, still in tears, “Thank you.”

“Why-”

“Everything. For staying strong and dealing with everything.” She swallowed thickly.

“We made a promise.” You squeezed her hand, “And I’m going to keep it till I die.”

She smiled slightly, “Me too.”

Damian, Regina and Cady left after a short while, leaving you alone with Janis. “Go to sleep.” She tells you. “I know you- you have been up all day. It’s 3am.”

“I know, I just—” You sigh. “I got to see her for a minute. She’s perfect— looks exactly like you.”

“Get some rest.” Janis nodded, “Please. You’ve been up for too long.”

“I will in a minute.” You couldn’t help it- a few tears fell anyway, no matter how hard you tried to hold them back.

“Good. I- need to pee. Can you—”

They already had her get up to walk earlier and she was in agony, saying that it felt like her insides were falling all the way down. You just carried her to the bathroom to give her a break. “Thank you.” She looked at you while she did her business, “Oh, jesus.” In her groggy state, she got a bigger than expected shock from the blood and fluids that were on the literal diaper they put on her.

“You’re okay, that- they told me some of it was normal.”

Both of you knew what happened, there was no denying it. But it was clear that Janis knew exactly what she was expecting in this situation. She was mentally prepared, having had that specific conversation with you on who to save. But of course, still sad. It was loss of her flesh and blood. A life that she’s carried and nurtured for 39 weeks- nearly ten months.

“Do you still feel nauseous, Jan?” You asked when you helped her back to her bed. As if on cue, the same nurse came in to check her vitals and surgery site. “How’s the nausea?”

“Bad, but not horrible.” Janis answered flatly, “The incision feels worse than the nausea.”

“I’ll administer another dose of the pain meds for you right after this. And the antiemetic.” The nurse— Carla, said. “Any pain anywhere else that I should know about? Chest? Legs?”

“No, I feel fine otherwise.” Janis told her, “Hey, is- is it okay if I see my daughter before I go back to sleep?”

“Absolutely.” Carla smiled, “I can ask them to bring her down for you.”

Janis dozed off briefly during the wait, but woke up once the nurse walked back in about ten minutes later. Carla stayed to assist if needed, handing Malia over to Janis cautiously. “Hi, Malia.” Janis stroked her cheek with her pinkie, “You’re so perfect and precious, baby. I’m sorry you can’t get to see the world right now. I’m sorry our time together was so short. I love you, so does your Mommy.”

Malia was not tiny, she was a fully grown newborn. Just asleep forever. Watching Janis hold Malia, the way she looked at her so adoringly melted your heart as much as it felt like someone was stabbing and twisting a knife into it. “Rest well, sweetheart.”

You held her for a bit after Janis hands her over to you. “Oh, I love you so much, cutie. Mommy loves you so much.” You sniffed, swallowing the painful lump in your throat. Slowly, you gave her back to Carla, allowing Janis to finally get her rest. You too, finally at ease for the first time in hours and hours. Right beside Janis— they let you sleep in her bed with her.

Janis slept soundly thanks to the anaesthesia, you on the other hand, were woken up every time the nurse came in to check her vitals. “I’m sorry, I know you’re tired— I didn’t mean to wake you. But I have to check.”

“It’s okay, I know you need to do that.” You assured, eyes barely open. You took a peek at Janis before drifting off to sleep once more.

In the morning, after the doctor’s done her rounds, Janis could finally eat. “My doctor told me Regina gave me her blood?”

“She was the only one with your blood type.” You confirmed.

“That’s crazy.” Janis says, taking a gulp of the orange juice.

After the 72 hours, Janis was allowed to go home. Damian came by to help you with her since you had some things to carry. “Babe. Do you think we should cremate or bury?”

“Uh- we can take our time—”

“I know, I just feel that we shouldn’t delay it and make us keep dwelling on it.”

“I get that.” You nodded. She was right. After a short discussion, a cremation was decided. Then, scheduled. Both of you agreed that this way, you could have her with you- at home. Where she’s supposed to be. Not at a burial site.

“Me and Tyler made y’all some frozen meals to make things a little easier. Okay? There are twelve. We will make more and bring them by.” Damian spoke up after awhile.

“Thank you, Damian. That’s so helpful.” You hugged him first and he returns the gesture.

“Least I could do.” He says, letting go of you, “Alright, I will leave you two alone now. Need anything, please let me know. I will come right over.” Damian gives Janis a hug too before he leaves, “I love you, please take it easy and don’t go lifting heavy shit.”

As he leaves, you watch. Then your gaze lands on Janis who was opening up the cover of the memory box— which consisted of: handprints, footprints, photos and a teddy bear with Malia’s heartbeat audio in it.

Janis asks to put those framed pieces up, and you helped her with it since she couldn’t move around as well right now. The hand prints and footprints went onto a wall in a corner of yours and Janis’ bedroom. Along with a photo of her. You help Janis into bed and left the teddy bear with her. She immediately cuddled with it as she slept. You stopped in your tracks seeing the room next to yours and Janis’- Malia’s nursery. You stepped inside, sitting down on the chair by the bay window, watching the sky and orange tree in your backyard. A butterfly catches your eye, it lands on the windowsill and stayed there while you admired it. And you, you have always been terrified of butterflies. But you couldn’t look away. You just couldn’t. You just had this feeling in your heart this was for you. You were not scared of this butterfly.

“If it’s you, fly to the window next to this one.” You said, not expecting anything. It started flying where you told it to fly. The bedroom window was left ajar to let the air in. The butterfly lingered for awhile and flew into the house gracefully. It lands on the dresser right by where Janis slept.

“We’ll be okay, Malia.” You whispered, taking in a deep breath, watching the butterfly leave.

————

A week later, cremation was carried out and you and Janis were at dinner with the gang afterwards— sitting in the backyard under the stars. It was a much needed gathering which Janis greatly appreciated. “Regina.” Janis got her alone, “Thank you. I’ll never forget it.”

“My decision wasn’t hard to make.” She says, “y/n made the toughest one of all. But I just did what a friend would do.” Janis willingly gives her a hug, a quick one, but — a hug. “I’m glad you’re still with us.”

“Hey, I’m a fighter.” Janis smirked.

“Fuck yeah you are.” Regina agrees. “Okay, enough of the sappy things. Go have fun, eat some snacks. You deserve all the fucking snacks you want.”

Janis sits down beside you, you took her hand into your own as you laid your head on hers. “You see that butterfly?”

“Yeah.” Janis nods.

“It’s been hanging around since we got back from the hospital.”

Janis seems to catch your drift, “I’ve been seeing it a lot. Made me think that it’s Malia, trying to tell us she’s always going to be here with us no matter what.”

“I think so too.” You sigh quietly, “I saw it in the nursery window. I told it to fly to our room’s window if it was Malia. It flew there and into our room. The butterfly stayed on the dresser.”

Janis presses a kiss to the side of your head, “I love you. Thank you for being so strong for me when I couldn’t.”

You snuggled closer to her. Keeping a close eye on the butterfly hanging around you all. It does it again, flying towards you — and Janis this time. It lands on your knee, “I’m not afraid of this one. Maybe that’s why I know.”

“She loves you.” Janis says, “I love you. Please never forget that. You made a very hard choice, that I chose. And I can never thank you enough for that- giving me a second chance at life. No matter what, we have each other. And as we know, she’ll always be right here with us- stronger than ever.”

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