i’ve never cherished the thought of a soulmate.
i don’t think i’ve ever believed in the concept of ideal love. it’s just not real. the two halves of the same orange or whatever they said.
it had just... never crossed my mind.
marriages were always meant to be broken. and that’s not worth the trouble at all. i honestly didn’t get it. it seemed so far away from me.
relationship dynamics have always seemed... off. no, i don’t want that. it’s not something i worry about in this moment in life.
it felt distant. as if that wasn’t for me. and i was okay with that. because real love doesn’t exist.
fast forward through times i don’t want to have memories of. what matters is, now we’re here.
and i cannot stop thinking about love.
my heart already longs for its other half. it beats in her chest and mine feels unbelievably empty all of the sudden.
since i let go of what i’ve been told.
my eyes are now open.
and now i long for something i’m not entirely sure i can have.
will i ever have her?
the answer terrifies me.
i want to believe. i have to believe.
from a skeptic to an utterly hopeless romantic in a record-time transition. it’s almost funny. and all it took was the blindfold to loosen and fall.
how could i have been blind for so long when she was right in front of me?
and i haven’t even seen her.
(i want to believe. let me believe. please, just let me have it).
but i have seen her.
she doesn’t have a face, but i keep seeing her everywhere.
she just doesn’t have a face yet.
in my daydreams, all the time, she just keeps coming back when i least expect her to, to shower me with kisses and heal my fresh wounds. again, and again, and again, random places, awkward times...
and i’m in so deep this time. no distance at all.
turns out this is for me, too, after all.
like they always talked about.
realizations aside, i’m now also filled with the fear that comes with this world-shattering concept. for us, especially.
now i pray.
i raise my open palms to whatever higher power is above love and i pray. (i want to believe. i have to.)
all there’s left for me is to be a believer. i must manifest her into existence.
into my existence.
she’s already walking the earth as i write down these lines. she’s probably asleep, right now. she’s not yet the person i will meet, no, she has to change. so do i. we’re not ready. we’re young. we’re far away.
she’s already here and the thought blows me away.
(i wonder what she looks like).
i just have to wait until our paths cross.
they have to. they have to.
for now, i have discovered a handful of years to make up for in one night.
(i wonder if she also dreams of me.)
so, for now, let me dream.
based on a tumblr textpost: “i believe in love because i have so much to give”
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Bloodlust & lies:
I could say that every time I hear a love song I think of you, but that would be fake. A simple lie.
The songs speak of a draw to someone else, they speak of love.
Yet, darling, I find myself going back to the quotes about love;
How they speak of tasting the flavor of you, but I don't think of sweet kisses.
I think of canines because we have teeth for a reason.
When I say I love the taste of your love, I am not talking about your lipstick or perfume.
I am thinking of teeth on the skin of your body, I am thinking of the taste of matalics and iron.
When I tell you that I think you're sweet I am not talking about personality because sweetness you may taste of candy, but you are bittersweet at best.
Your blood is that of venom, so I'll bite first because my teeth are sharper than yours.
This is not love, I won't tell you that, but it is that of Blood.
We were formed out of bloodlust and lies and I won't back down first.
My MCU Character’s LGBTQIA+ Headcanons
Steve: Transgender + Bisexual
Bucky: Genderqueer + Omnisexual
Natasha: Bi-romantic + Demisexual
Tony: Pansexual + Demi-romantic
Peter P: Transgender + Bisexual
Clint: Bisexual + Grey-romantic
Loki: Gender-fluid + Homosexual
Thor: Gender-fluid + Pansexual
Bruce: Asexual + Homo-romantic
Stephen: Demisexual + Bi-romantic
MJ: Bisexual + Non-Binary
Harley: Homosexual + Non-Binary
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WHY WE NEED BI VISIBILITY DAY
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Managed 2,023 words today! (In For Gods and Gold, in case anyone is interested)
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The Sweetest Thing 🧁
Henri and his flower language is so sweet.
All the feels....just hit them all.
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📍 Stuck In Ambedo
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Yep, it’s that time! I’m (re)introducing myself, yet again!
So hi! I’m Locke!
➺ I’m a 19 y/o college student majoring in psychology and minoring in womens & gender studies
➺ I’ve been writing for nearly eight years now, and after all that time, I actually have some idea of what I want to do with my work
➺ When I’m not writing, I draw, play videogames, read, and dabble in photography during my free time
➺ Some of my favorite games are minecraft, stardew valley, and guild wars 2
“ Darling, control is a fool’s concept.
➺ My work probably fits quite loosely under fantasy, but I often dip into all sorts of genres, including but not limited to poetry, steampunk, dystopian, science fiction, supernatural, and more
➺ I’m polyamorous. My characters are polyamorous. Relationship webs are complicated and I love it and I love them dearly.
➺ I have quite a few WIPs on the backburner due to my rather chaotic writing style, with only one being a finished first draft. I love them all dearly and I can’t yet bear to part with any of them, so you’ll probably see some ‘new’ wip snippet pop up occasionally
➺ Lore and worldbuilding makes up most of my word count and takes up most of my time; it’s the most consistent thing I do!
➺ That said, it’s also my current focus, so expect a lot more of it!
my works // world anvil // instagram // author’s cove // pinterest
CURRENT PROJECT // The Minutemage Compendium
➺ The MinuteMage Compendium is a browser-based RPG concept presented in an old-school rpg field guide format. Explore the world of Iane and discover its secrets!
A clock is ticking in the mist and fog; people have begun to vanish right off the streets, and dark knowledge is kept from the common folk. Thrust into an unknown world, it is up to you to bring corruption to light and save the clockwork city of Iane. Can you find the Minutemage Coin and open the doors before it's too late?
As of right now, this is my most active work in progress! Phase: Brainstorming. I’ll be designing items, NPCs, locations, creatures, enemies, and more. Eventually, I plan on making it into a physical guide and an RPG!
WIP // A Ghost, a Quill, and a Mockingbird
➺ Something in her remembers her past; a part of her that stands tall in the face of another's rage. Mountainous strength, hidden within a mouse. Confidence born of past instinct, of power, of creation and abandonment; Yet her conscious betrays none of it. Her spite does nothing to reveal what she had been so desperate to forget; what her rage continues to remember, impressively extreme for such tame, conscious memory.
Ghost has lived her entire life in an underground bunker on the planet Serus. The last of her kind after a swarm of vitians invaded her world and slaughtered her people, she spends her days in blissful spite where the vitians are unable to reach her.
It's not in any way peaceful, of course, to hear the screaming from outside the bunker, but as long as she has her music and drink to keep her company, she figures she'll be able to live a nice, conflict free life.
That is, until her simple day-to-day life becomes a bit more interesting; a little more chaotic. Her god has returned, and he's not at all what she expected, nor does he seem all that keen on leaving her alone.
I’m proud to say that GQM, while my eighth existing wip, is the first to have a completed first draft! Phase: Paused. While I take a step back and move onto other things before revising, adding, and rewriting!
OTHER WIPS // The Back-burner
➺ A list of WIPs I love very much and that have been set aside
It is worth noting that I tend to write a lot of standalone vignettes that don’t pertain to specific stories, as well as a lot of poetry that I like to call my ‘spout of bullshit’
Arcane // world anvil // tag
Alchemist / floating idea // tag
The Demon’s Eyes // world anvil // tag
Encounters of the Primal Sort // world anvil // tag
Twisted Tales of Myth
➺ Ellyse of Wonderspire // world anvil // tag
➺ Servant to Dragon and King / floating idea // tag
Wane of the Lunar Human / floating idea // tag
vignettes // poetry // playlists // moodboards // characters
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We were too young
That’s what they said
We hadn’t lived long
I was stuck in my head
The world never even gave a chance
They condemned us for life
I spared you only just a glance
Yet i was met with a knife
And if you come back in a while
I’d hold onto you again
Parts of you buried in my smile
I’m still holding onto back then
We were too young
There was too much at stake
We didn’t think
It would never take
Stuck in a future
that only existed in our dreams
Even if on the inside
We were bursting at the seams
And even if all we knew was a waste
I’d do it all again without haste
Cause even though our love was burned at the stake
You will forever remain my favourite mistake
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the names we choose to die with
are ours and ours alone
you cannot make a bush a tree
you can’t make water into stone
when i was young i was many things
daughter, sister, girl
but they were too busy with the clam
to try and find the pearl
the name i choose to die with
isn’t the one my mother gave to me
but it’s the only one i truly feel
has ever set me free
my headstone will not bear a lie
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🆘 They did it again, I knew it since ep 1!!! So typical CW queerbaiting trope, the protagonist who is very straight and has a gay sibling, now has a very gay story with another female character! 🤦♀️🤷♀️
Any daja vu?🤷♀️
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hey guys, i am doing a school project on worldwide homophobia for global perspectives. I would really appreciate it if you took sometime to fill this questionnaire out, 'cause this topic's really important to me and if we don't get responses the project won't be displayed and we want it to get displayed because we live in a place where the LGBTQIA+ community is not accepted.
here is the link: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfCJ68XwcxqI7Sdfq1p4ptONbwqnjEroRM4Aak_LllBNCmJLg/viewform?usp=pp_url
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“To the boy with green eyes.”
How funny, that it seems that I am drawn to boys with green eyes, and although I’ve been writing about one that holds a piece of my heart to this day, I can’t help but wonder that maybe, just maybe, not all my letters were to him, but to another boy with green eyes who’s waiting for my gaze to meet his for the very first time.
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From ‘For Gods and Gold’
‘The milk is going to be put aside as a meal for the first cat the dastwar [priest] would lay his eyes on, as everyone knows that a cat is a creature closest to the divine grace’.
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Happiness / Anger
when the love in your face turns to hate
i turn to my notebook, writing why over a hundred times
the day we never spoke to each other,
i wish i could rewind it all
i cried more than a river, more than the niagra falls
when the happiness in your face turned to anger,
i turned to the wall and forgot it all as i cried as quiet as a mouse
My Mind is My Worst Enemy
(TW: Suicidal Thoughts and Idealization)
My mind tried to kill me last night
She held the pill bottle up to the light and said
"One swallow is all it would take"
She dragged a knife across my wrist as I told my best friend that I wanted her to have my cat
My mind reminded me of the bleach under the kitchen sink
And how much I love the burn of alcohol
She dragged me to the roof, put my arms out, and said
"If you feel like you're flying, then jump and find out"
My fingers hovered over the call button
Knowing my lifeline was asleep
So I took a pill and drifted off
Into a very temporary slumber
I arose the next morning with my mind
Wrapping her dark hands around my throat
"You should be dead"
She spat in my face as I rose to feed the cat
My mind tried to kill me last night
But I live to see another day
And as the sun sets and the day turns dim
I know that she will try again
In New Amsterdam, Lauren and Leyla first met in 3x03, first kiss in 3x10, if New Amsterdam writers can write SG, Supercorp would’ve been canon right in season 2 and there would not need any Mon Hell🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
SG writers just learn from others will ya IS THAT SO HARD???
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Are you #poet #photographer #comicbookartist #writer #sculptor #illustrator ? Send your #entry now.