#chaeyoung angst

[nr1chaedickrider]

second choice.

"was I ever an option?"

"what do you mean?"

"you heard me."

"I-"

"was i ever an option?"

"come on, you're drunk."

"why are you not answering my question?"

sana says nothing.

you're starting to get frustrated.

yes, it is obvious to anyone, you're drunk. but does that allow sana to not answer?

drunk words are sober thoughts.

maybe sana tries to forget about that saying.

maybe she just doesn't want to say anything.

"so?" you ask her.

"some day you have to answer, it makes no difference if it is right now or weeks after." your words slurred.

she sighs, not wanting to accept that you're right.

"i don't know honestly." she answers.

your heart aches when she speaks.

"i don't fucking know okay?"

she doesn't want to talk about this.

she just wants to call you an uber which drops you off at your small apartment.

"why did you kiss me then?" you ask, looking at her.

your apartment, where you made too many memories with her.

"i don't know"

your apartment, where she took your virginity.

"you wanted to forget everything about him?"

"every single thing." she answers.

it feels like she is the one that is drunk - like she is the one that can't think clearly.

"so you used me?" you ask stupidly, knowing the answer.

"i-"

she doesn't continue talking.

you think about calling that uber yourself.

"i thought you were someone that is so good with their words" you say.

she just looks at you, not knowing what to say.

and maybe, problably, you were right.

you sigh, getting up and taking your jacket with you.

she grabs your cold wrist, and you look down at her.

"y/n-" she says.

a bad habit of hers, she starts to talk without even knowing what exactly she wants to say.

"i never was an option, why do you want me now?" you ask.

sana doesn't know what to answer.

maybe it is better that way, one answer would get you crying in her arms.

"let me go" her grip is tight around your wrist.

"please" you mutter.

she lets go, her slim fingers brush over your hand when you pull away and walk away.

she watches after you, even thinks about running after you.

as much as she wants to be a good person though, she knows you are going to come back.

as much as she wants you to be happy and find love, she will use you over and over again.

with no end in sight.

#wlw #twice imagines #twice smut #twice x reader #girl group smut #twice ff #chaeyoung x reader #sana smut #sana imagines #sana x reader #minatozaki sana #sana minatozaki #sana #sana angst #sana fluff #toxic!sana #toxic sana #toxic twice #nayeon smut #jeongyeon smut #second option #feeling silly #twice angst #twice fluff #second choice #wlw angst #sapphic #chaeyoung angst #mina angst #momo angst

[saiidahyunie]

my knife that's bounded by your love

witch!son chaeyoung x witchhunter!reader || angst, fluff || pt.2 here

synposis: you and the celestial witch you captured are forced to rely on each other in the harsh wilderness of the winter, and what comes after.

warnings: cursing ; blood ; violence ; suggestive content ; enemies to lovers ; attempted sexual assault (not by the reader though) ; posessive behavior

a/n: i threw this idea to @nr1chaedickrider in January and was motivated to finish this when the mood film of the with you-th mini album came out. :)

(this has been sitting in my drafts for the longest time now)

they were fast and fluid coming into the dead of night. 

chaeyoung is awoken to the snarling face of a man holding a knife shoved against the curve of her throat. she chokes a scream as the man buries a hand into her hair, dragging her out of bed. he’s spitting nonsense in a string of curses, calling her the bride’s demon, a whore, it was all in a flash but she could only focus on the terrified shrieking of her sisters outside. 

adrenaline is coursing through her veins, but all it could afford is her hyper-vigilance and panic. she stumbles along the ground like a newborn calf getting the first whiffs of the new air as the hunter opens the door and tosses her out into the cold. 

and then she sees the blood. 

the visible stark red stained on the blanket of pure white snow. the fair skin of her sister’s throat slashed through, pooling ruddy around her prone body. another one lies right beside her, face frozen in abject horror, an arrow sunk deep in the center of her chest. both were dead. 

dead. 

chaeyoung is consumed with pure rage, nearly blinding all thoughts as she twists around, senselessly as the blade cuts into her flesh, snapping her teeth at the man’s neck. the man snarls, whipping her head around by her hair, but as much as her vision swims, she doesn’t relent. wrapping her cold hands around his tense wrist and whispers an incantation, grinning while the man yanks his hand away with an agonizing scream, skin blistering through and puncturing hot, blood boiling just beneath, but her victory was only for a few moments. another hunter flanks from behind and kicks her knee out. chaeyoung collapses to the snow with a prolonged mixture of a groan and hiss, her woolen nightgown soaked through. 

her entire village had been razed to the ground, burned to a charred, cracking crips. the small wooden houses were nothing but ashy remains. her sisters all piled to form a large puddle swaddling in their own blood, their eyes empty of life and glazed over like a glass doll’s. screams echo around her in a grisly chorus, breaking through the air in all of its horror.

chaeyoung stifles a wince as a broad hand sinks into her hair and heaves her upward, shutting her eyes when the edge of the knife finds her exposed throat, unwilling to face her murderer, to give the hunter’s satisfaction of witnessing her fear.

“you deserve this,” the hunter whispers to her, their pungent, rancid breath warming the outer shell of her ear. “for trading your soul.” 

pressing the blade deeper, inciting a motion across, she holds her breath, lungs contracting, anticipating the rush of hot blood followed by the pain, before another voice, low with an ear-piercing command, asks, “what do you think you’re doing?” 

the hunter backs off immediately, and chaeyoung crumples back onto her hands and knees, panting hoarsely while clutching her neck. she glances up, noticing a pair of heavy yet sleek, black boots. her eyes lift upwards, trailing over woolen trousers and a dark brown, fur-lined coat, before lingering on a simple silver cross dangling from her neck.

the antithesis of her kind. witch-hunters. 

despite her vision being blurred, she finds your face. you’re nothing but with all harsh, rigid angles and sun-kissed skin, your slick hair and your lips chapped pink, the eyes were emotionless and burned like ice. you stare down at her, expression scornful, and lift your sword to her cheekbone. in a firm press, the blade sinks beneath her skin, blood beading against the cold steel; chaeyoung viciously bites her tongue, choking with a pained whimper. 

you then slid the flat of her sword beneath her chin, lifting her head again, turning it side to side to side and to side, examining her. 

she won’t touch me, chaeyoung realizes once the agony fades from her mind. she knows better. 

“is she the last one?” 

“uh.” vaguely, she notices the two other hunters glance at each other. “we’re not actually sure.” 

“do you idiots at least remember the one’s you’ve killed?” you ask again, clearly annoyed.

“well.” the hunter purses their mouth in thought. “first, we got rid of the wise women.” 

chaeyoung’s eyes pop with astonishment. she nearly keels over at the sudden wave of grief bursting through her body. the wise women were the oldest witches in the village, and the most powerful. for them to be murdered so easily and quickly—

“then the younger ones. the, uh—” 

the children, she supplies. but she won’t call them that. 

“and we went through the rest. they weren’t particularly difficult to get rid of. this village was festering with small pests and decrepit beings. we didn’t even bother going through the bodies.” 

“the both of you are morons,” you growl, abruptly furious. she has blood splattered across her angular cheek and collar. “we always keep one for information on how to find the neighboring villages. how else do you think we find them?” 

“y/n, we–” 

“and yet, here you were, about to kill this one when you haven’t even bothered checking if there were any others left to replace her.” 

you gesture at chaeyoung without giving a sense of acknowledgement, almost as if she’s a runt. the other two hunters have the gall to appear daunted. 

“i’m sorry, y/n,” one of them says, dipping their head. “we didn’t think of that at the time.” 

“like you guys actually would think about that. fucking dumbasses.” you spit, rolling your eyes. for a moment, you look back as there was a quick urge to lecture them more, before spitting on the ground, shaking your head. you snap your fingers towards chaeyoung’s direction. 

“if you boneheads want to be useful, then bind her with some rope and start bringing her back to camp. we’ll find some post to tie her until we can properly interrogate her.” 

so she’s the leader, chaeyoung realizes, wide-eyed at the realization, as a doting pit deepens in her gut. she speaks with authority, expecting to be obeyed right away. and to her utter shock, she is. the two grab a thick layer of robe, twining it around her wrists and locking them in place. chaeyoung glances up at them, imagining the thought of how amazing it’ll feel to hear them scream once she sets their blood to a boil, once turing the flesh into instant ice with a simple touch before setting fire to the rest. the same way the hunters did to her sisters. the resolve was already set in stone for her.

but the hunter, oblivious to the plotting chaeyoung was devising, simply glances down to her feet. 

“how bout we get some shoes on her,” you scoff, motioning to turn away. “the last thing we need is for her to freeze to death before even reaching back to camp.” 

it had been at least a half hour walk back to their encampment, and by the time they forced her back to the ground and tied her wrists to the wooden post, she’s half-frozen. they had put on fur-lined boots over her feet as you requested, but refused to give her anything else to battle against the cold. chaeyoung’s lips were dark blue, fingertips nearly blackened from the frostbite she’s getting. if she were to stay like this for any longer, she’d develop hypothermia once dawn breaks again unless she can get warmer clothes or a better shelter. 

chaeyoung grist her teeth, jerking her wrists hard. the rope bites back into her delicate skin and fights the wince away from her mouth, throwing her head back against the wooden post. 

she needs her hands to use her magic. the hunters know that. it’s the only reason why they’ve tied her like this in the first place. 

chaeyoung then closes her hands, trying to mentally block out the cold, the sounds of the rambunctious laughter as the mixture of men and women cheer in celebration at the destruction of her whole livelihood. she needs to keep her head clear to think, but the adrenaline inside her fades away as the only thing in her mind was the thick, displeasing smell of blood and death, the bodies of her fallen sisters. disgusted by the image ingrained in her head, blinking out tears as she remembers the sight of their slit throats and dull eyes, tiny hands fisting the soft snow as knives were thrust into them relentlessly. 

choking down a sob, tucking into herself and bowing her head to her knees. the youngest among them had only just turned six—a girl by the name of diana. as they dragged her away, chaeyoung had accidentally stumbled over her body back then, eyes up toward the night sky, bile moving upwards to her throat when she notices present arrow behind her back. the two hunters had shoved her forward before she could vomit it out. 

i can’t die, chaeyoung thinks despairingly, turning her eyes up to the unforgiving heavens above. i have to kill them first.  

in front of her, chaeyoung can see two male hunters circle around a fire, bundled up in heavy cloaks and sucking something whilst in their leather layered skins, their cheeks flushing red. they’re drinking, she realizes in distaste . they just wiped out an entire village of sleeping women and children and they’re drinking. impossibly, her loathing for them grew even larger. 

“hey, witch!” 

she narrows her eyes, tensing up her muscles when she notices the pair of hunters get up from the surrounding campfire and trudge over to her. their fur collars are painted with dried blood, lips tugging to a victorious grin and their eyes voided with nothing as they rove over her. chaeyoung is unsure if they see her as any different or more valuable than the wooden post that she’s bound to. 

as the pair approach, one of them—the very same hunter who had held a blade to her throat just a little over an hour ago—nudges her leg with their boot and gwaffs when chaeyoung growls at them. not noticing her fear, and even if the hunter did, they were actually enjoying it. 

“she’s a lively one ain’t it?” the hunter says to their friend, head tilted before giving a mere casual observation–one that makes her shudder. “but pretty.” 

“pretty, yeah. i think if you tried touching her, though, she’d rip your hand off.” 

“like she can do anything if she’s tied up like this,” the hunter adds, squatting down to match chaeyoung’s position. making the move closer, hand slowly inching up her leg, their eyes starving. chaeyoung snarls at the hunter viciously and curls in on herself, shaking with much intensity that she’s vibrating against the post, but the hunters laugh at her trembling image. the other hunter next to the first one leans down to the opposite side of her and another approaches the pair, indulging with a hand to her stomach, and she holds back a sob, vision swimming with a sickness in her stomach. 

“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” 

the sense of deja vu electrifies her when she notices you storm over and grip the other hunter by the neck. you throw them off, kicking their stomach once hitting the ground before your foot met their face again in quick succession. 

“are you three out of your goddamn minds?” you snarl again, kicking the hunter still on the ground. “did you not understand the message of not touching her before the interrogation that i need to repeat to you?!” 

“fuck off!” to her small satisfying relief, the other hunter at her side jumps to their feet, clearly outraged. “we were just trying to have a little bit of fun! who cares if a skeptic whore gets fucked before we eventually kill her!” 

you sneer an eye-piercing glare. “would it be compelling for you to fuck a pig instead?” 

chaeyoung’s mind reels at that, the cold pit swallowing her body and blood rushing to their areas more urgently. the reason was all apparent and she still couldn’t believe with her eyes, she is less than human to them. even worse, she was no better than an animal that finds it fun to roll around in their own shit.

still, the sniding remark seems to give the hunters a new sense to their actions, and without looking at her, one of the fellow hunters pulls the other to their feet. they all walk back to their log, heads down in defeat, leaving you and the leader in the frigid silence. 

when you turn back to face her, chaeyoung pointedly conceals her lingering distress and refuses to meet her eye, staring above her. 

you cock your head to the side with a tsk, “they didn’t give you a blanket to use didn’t they?” observing her. 

“was that not purposeful?” chaeyoung snorts. “i thought the endgame was having me killed.” 

“not yet.” and before she can even bring herself to process that derogatory statement, you reach up and loosen the clasp at your collar, shucking off the heavy jacket and dropping it carelessly to her lap. she flinches beneath the weight, stomach turning inside-out at the pungent odor of blood and sweat, her body heat was too enticing for her to ignore, so she doesn’t shove the coat off. 

chaeyoung sees you cross your arms. the absence of your large coat doesn’t negate the gravity of your stature. you still loomed over her, shoulders broad and legs long. nothing about you seems faltering nor weak. 

“you’re from dunchon, past the mountain range.” you say, studying her closely. 

chaeyoung scoffs. do you expect her to be impressed? 

“and you want me to assume that observation had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you found my village in the mountains? that’s a clever deduction of information.” 

you shake your head again. “it’s your accent.” 

“and yours is from busan,” chaeyoung retorts. she recalls the very vague memories of her father. the way his mouth wreathes the syllables in a way that reminds her of him, although she diminishes the comparison as quickly as it forms, the notion now inconceivable; her father would never raise a weapon against their child. 

“so then your mother was a witch then? or maybe from your father’s bloodline?” 

“that’s none of your business.” 

“maybe the village elders took you in? you looked different compared to them.” 

“really? did you have a good look at their faces before or after you put your blades and arrows in them?” chaeyoung snaps back. 

your eyes flash with a wick of temperament before you lowered herself to her knees, grabbing her face. the small cut through her lips burning at her touch and the sudan proximity dives her heart to her stomach. 

“you happen to forget who i am witch,” you growled, voice lowly with a rumble. “i only kept you alive so that i can get information out of you, not out of some sudden change of heart. i could care less about killing you–” you then squeeze her jaw hard; a punctuated threat—”so when i ask you about something, i expect an answer for them.” 

chaeyoung scowls through your grip, cheeks pushed up high, tongue slurring her speech. “pigs. can’t. speak.” 

your growls again with incense, quickly rising back to your feet. scrubbing her hand down the fabric of your trousers before jabbing a finger at her. “i won’t waste my energy with you.” 

“then you have all the reason to kill me now,” chaeyoung spits again, glancing down at your long fingers, at the blood and gore that was embedded beneath your nails—and, my, isn’t that a rare sight? “you have big hands. you can snap my neck into two if you wanted to.” 

“oh, believe me, witch,” you say, eyes shining. “i’m dreaming of it.” 

you and chaeyoung glare into each other’s eyes in the fraught silence for several long, excruciating moments. chaeyoung’s heart rails painfully against the encapsulated walls of her chest, hackles raised as she watches your expression shift from murderous contempt to a more tortured resignation. you exhale deeply and pinch the bridge of your nose. “we’ll speak again tomorrow. and you will answer my questions. i don’t care what i’ll have to do to make you.” 

“is there any guarantee you can give me beforehand so that you won’t slice my throat immediately after you get what you need?” 

you send a smile to her that’s all teeth. “i guess that depends on what you give me.” 

without a parting glance, you turn on your heel and walk past the fire and into a large tent on the other side. chaeyoung glowers after you, burning with an indignation even as her body shivers from the chilling winds. in a brief moment, she contemplated throwing your cloak and kicking it to her bound hands so that she can set it ablaze under her fingertips; but that would be ridiculous, even she knows this. at this rate she’ll freeze from hypothermia sooner that she’ll die beneath your blade. she has to play the long game and prioritize her mind over her pride in any hope of surviving this. 

just then, another gust of an icy breeze rushes past, upsetting the flaps of the tent before settling a chill down to her marrow, shivering violently, instinctively ducking under your the furs of your cloak to shield herself from the cold, stifling down the urge of resentment for your inadvertent help. the acceptance of this felt way too piercing like the sting of betrayal. 

survival, chaeyoung desperately reminds herself. survival over your pride. the wise women had drilled this lesson into her head for years now. a witch does what she has to in order to survive. they are such a hunted class; it was the only way that they can protect themselves. 

she whispers this mantra to herself as the warmth from your cloak begins to pull her to sleep. survival over your pride. she almost starts to believe it. 

chaeyoung wakes up the the sound of shuffling, light steps against the powdery snow with a wet crunch the next morning.

she moans softly, eyes fluttering as she pushes herself upward to stretch her back, only to freeze at the sight of a large wolf pacing in front of her. it’s a frightful looking creature, an eye gouged out and it’s red teeth, a lonely fang peeking over its lips. pink saliva drops from it’s muzzle, blood coating it’s tongue and pale grey fur. behind it, the hunter who held a knife to her throat—touched her, called her pretty, a skeptic whore—lies on their back, eyes glazed over, blood burbling from his open mouth. 

their throat had been devoured through. 

she inhales sharply as she whips her head away, wild gaze darting around frantically until she spots the circle of prowling wolves at the campfire, snouts buried in the bodies of the four other hunters, half-eaten and choking in their own blood, fingers twitching and mouths moving reflexively screaming. some actually looked to still be alive. 

bile rose up from her stomach again, disgust trumping the venomous hatred. she’s stunned to realize that the sight of their violent demise does little to bring her any sense of relief, only horror. 

but the brown-eyed one. the thought storms through her like a jolt of electricity. the one they called y/n. where is she? 

she jerks forward like second nature, her raw wrists scraping against the coarse rope, but she doesn’t realize the sensation. her eyes scan the environment, seeking you out. maybe—

the sound of her struggling alerts the wolf in front of her. pausing before turing its giant head to her slowly and chaeyoung meets its glowing golden eye, feeling her blood run ice-cold. it steps closer, hackles raising, lips pulled up to reveal red teeth primed like daggers. she panics at the low growl that rumbles from its chest, yanking her wrists against the post with a renewed motivation. her range of motion is severely limited; she feels blood begin to smear around the rope as her flesh rips, but she doesn’t care. she can’t afford to think of anything but escaping. 

“come on!” she spits out, swallowing down a sob. “i am not dying like this! i refuse to!” 

the wolf snarls at her loud cursing, nipping away at the mountainous cloak, and chaeyoung jerks her wrists again, harder, only for the rope to cut deeper into her skin. she hisses through her gritted teeth as tears cling to her lashes, despair building up, clamping down like a vice around her throat. she peers up at the twinkling, merciless stars and whispers, “please.” 

and then—suddenly, fatefully—a large, black-gloved hand grasps the wolf by its long sound and slits its throat before it can even fight back. the wolf’s vicious snarl putters off into a pained yelp as it collapses onto the floor, hot blood turning the snow red. chaeyoung’s vile gaze darts upward to see you panting with exertion, crimson splatter across your face and clothes. a heavy weight lifts off her chest, light as air, that she wasn’t convinced that it was relief; she couldn’t call it anything else either. 

but then you step towards her, arms outstretched, daggers brandished and glinting red beneath the pale moonlight over you two. chaeyoung jerks, just as afraid as before. 

“get away from me!” she screams, struggling frantically. “if you touch me, i’ll–!” 

“you’ll what?!” you sneer, before ducking behind her. chaeyoung tenses, anticipating a stab in the back, but is surprised when she feels her binds loosen instead. the rope snaps, cut through, and she yanks her arms towards the front of her body. smeared blood covered her wrists, stark against her fair pale skin, and she smothers a wince as she rolls them, every motion sending shockwaves of pain stinging down her nervous system. she could barely feel her muscles. 

you move to her front, eyes catching her mutilated flesh. “you cut yourself.” 

“because you tied me up and i was trying to escape!” chaeyoung snaps, flustered. “that wolf was going to eat me and—and why did you kill it? y-you saved–”

“for the same reason why i killed all the other ones.” you gesture behind your shoulder, and her eyes widen spotting the slow-bleeding bodies, arrows lodged in their sides. she didn’t even notice it at all. 

you turn back, and it’s then that chaeyoung notices the dark, wet stretch of fabric over your shoulder, the puncture wounds of teeth marks against your exposed skin. she gasps loudly, surging towards you instinctively. “you’re wounded!” 

you grasp her hand, squeezing it tightly till the bone creaks. “don’t even think about touching me,” you snarl.

“you’ll bleed to death.” 

“and i’d rather die than be touched by your demon magic.” 

“it’s not demon magic!” chaeyoung argues, before narrowing her eyes, pressing closer. you tighten your grip again, but she isn’t fazed. she’s freezing cold and injured and she can’t move without feeling like needles poking beneath her skin, but all it does is solidify her resolve. survival over pride. 

“you need me,” chaeyoung says. “your hunters have been slaughtered, you’ve exterminated the closest thing we have to a nearby civilization only a couple hours ago, and you’ll die from either the cold or blood loss before you can find anyone else to help you. so let me.” 

you glare at her, brilliant eyes flashing with a hint of loathing. she can basically see your internal debate, and how your mind wrestles at the thought between throttling her to the ground or taking up on her offer. finally, and with a pointed squeeze, you drop chaeyoung’s wrist and sneer. “do what you need to do.” 

chaeyoung blinks, startled by your acquiescence, but reacts quickly. she settles her cold hand over the slope of your neck and closes her eyes, reaching inside herself for that shimmering pool of magic, as vital as the beat of her heart. her lips move, and beneath her palm, the skin on you starts to stitch together, healing the torn flesh underneath. the effort saps most of her energy and when she’s done, she limps over you, exhausted and freezing again. 

your chest heaves, in a surprise shock, gaze still on her with wide eyes. chaeyoung swallows tightly, voice croaking. 

“do you still plan to kill me now?” 

the silence stretches the air again, too long for comfort, but not enough to be anything stupefying. your hands find her shoulders, and you wrench her back, gazing down at her, everything about her was a big question mark, a debate in morality. chaeyoung’s surprised as well, then, when you stand up and tug her up with you. you grab your cloak, tucking it tight beneath chaeyoung’s chin, before swooping down and lifting her over your shoulder. chaeyoung grapples against you, stunned when she feels you place her hands around the nape of your neck. 

“i thought you were going to–” she gasps out. 

“are you so used to deceit that you actually expect that i’d kill you after you just saved my life?” 

chaeyoung blinks, shaking her head numbly. despite how predictable and simple minded you and your hunters were, she couldn’t make sense of you. “i-i thought you were going to. you wanted me dead.” 

“i still do want you dead,” you say easily, and it cuts into her scattered thoughts like a swift blade. “but then i decide. your death belongs to me. not to some rabid animal, and not to the cold.” 

yet, the cold is what is consuming the both of you now. dragging in her back down from the clouds of confusion and into the hellish earth with you. 

“then do it,” chaeyoung whispers dimly. 

you shift her into your arms, carrying her bridal style. “just you wait.” 

you were forced to stop not even an hour later when you see chaeyoung turning blue.

chaeyoung doesn’t know why, exactly; she stopped feeling the cold about half an hour ago, which he insists is a problem when she haltingly informs you later, a tongue a mere stone in her mouth and her voice slurring. 

you set her down against a tree when you see a small cave that will be good enough to keep you guys away from the harsh elements. chaeyoung watches you, dazed, eyelids heavy as you build a fire fast with just scattered pieces of dry wood and skinny sticks. once fanned to a successful height, you turn to her. 

“do you feel warmer now?” 

chaeyoung could barely move her lips. she wasn’t any warmer, but she wasn’t any colder either. her blood drifting along like ice in her veins, sluggish and thick. 

“are you ignoring me, witch?” you snap. she makes a reply, but your annoyed expression suddenly shifts, shuffling closer and leaning down to reach inside your cloak so that you can touch your hands. you seethe through your teeth at the temperature of her skin, your rough palms skating past her scarred wrists to rest on her upper arms. 

“you’re as cold as ice,” you mumble. “and you’re so stiff. you should be shivering like a newborn fawn.” 

chaeyoung moans softly, shifting her head against the tree as her lips purse, eyes getting heavier and heavier. a sinking drowsiness tempting her to sleep, but before she was able to closer her eyes, you swat her cheek lightly with your fingers, holding a stern expression. 

“stay awake. you have hypothermia,” you say, sliding your hands up and down chaeyoung’s numb legs. 

“i…could’ve told y-you…” 

“then why didn’t you say something to me before?” you snap with a frustration in your voice. chaeyoung notices that you’re a volatile person, your aura generous with an explosive punch. in the span of an hour, she loses track of the multitude of things she’s heard you condemn and curse at. 

“cause i’d rather the cold…kill me than you,” chaeyoung slurs out lazily. 

“that’s a bold lie. you’d rather kill me first.” you say as you pick her up again, setting her down on your lap in front of the fire. chaeyoung wants to resist this hold, revolted by the proximity, but the mantra of the village elders comes back to her mind again: survival over your pride. she barely has a choice to make in this. 

chaeyoung leans against you, allowing to tuck her face into your shoulder. your hands slide down to her boots, fingers dipping over the lining of fur, testing its viable warmth before rubbing them up and down her legs. when she begins to shiver violently, you drape the cloak around the both of you and blow hot air into her icy hands. chaeyoung mumbles nothing but complete gibberish against the curve of your neck, struggling to make sense of your actions and with irritants in her body’s appreciation of them. 

“w-why are you…doing this?” chaeyoung asks, forcing her stiff lips to move.

“doing what?” 

“keeping m-me warm. s-saving me f-from the wolf. is…it b-because you’re th-th-thankful?” 

“thankful?” you spit in disbelief. your motions going against chaeyoung’s shoulder in a jerked fashion, belying his wave of anger. “i could never feel gratitude towards a witch.” 

“then w-what?” 

“you said it first. we need each other to survive. i’d recommend you start worrying about your fate the second you suspect you’ve outlived your usefulness.” 

chaeyoung feels a resentment boiling in her chest, appalled by the objectifying language you spat out–-like she’s an elderly bloodhound she’ll have to take down—but it doesn’t surprise her either; you hardly even think she’s human. 

but despite the growing instinct to dismount herself from you and lose her battle to the elements, chaeyoung knows that you were right. that she is. the mountains in the dead of the winter weather was merciless for either of them to survive on their own. if she could grab the dagger from her belt and slit her throat right now, her thirst for revenge and vengeance might be sted, but her fate would already be sealed; she won’t last a week out in the cold without you.. 

a substantial part of herself almost didn’t care about it anymore, the satisfaction of her over your dead body would just be enough.

“get some sleep,” you whisper, oblivious to her internal conflict. “we’re gonna have a long day tomorrow.” 

everything inside chaeyoung rails to do the complete opposite, if only to displease the needs towards you, but she’s too exhausted to be defiant, and the fire and bumpy slide of your fingers against her skin felt nice. her head drops, slipping down to your chest and within minutes. she’s dozed off to sleep along with you. 

the next morning she wakes up in the cave, bundled up to her ears in both of their cloaks, positioned against the rocky wall. you squat in front of the fire, pacing away from the mouth of the cave. when you notice that chaeyoung’s awake, you pick up a rabbit leg and brush it against her nose. 

“can you move?” you ask burly, “are you any warmer?” 

chaeyoung blinks, surprised at the caring question. the offer, and wriggles around a little bit. she was pleased to find that her blood actually feels like normal blood again, and reaches out, taking the food from your hand. she turns the leg over curiously with lips pursed.

“don’t worry, it isn’t poisioned.” you scoff. 

“why should i believe you?” 

you then abruptly snatch her wrist. chaeyoung flinches, expecting your grip to tighten up, almost to break bone, but all you do is lean forward to take a bite out of her rabbit leg. your jaw works as you chew while leaning back, eyebrows raised as if to ask, there? is that what you wanted? 

chaeyoung couldn’t think of a proper response. dazed, she brings the food to her mouth. 

“if you can walk,” you say, as you eat. “we should start moving. i would like to make the most of the light that we have for today.” 

she swallows before asking, “for what?” 

“what do you mean, ‘for what?’ we’re stranded. we need to find some place other than here closer to the kingdom.” 

“and what happens after that? do we go our separate ways? or do we kill each other like civilized people?” 

you bare your teeth into a mean grin. “i suppose that depends on how i feel when that moment comes.” 

chaeyoung frowns, leaning against the wall, unmoved by your cruelty. under your cloak, she attempts to wiggle her toes, frustrated by the effort. “i still can’t walk,” she mumbles, ashamed, “not really at all. my limbs still feel too weak.” 

you shrug, gnawing on your own rabbit leg. “i’ll carry you.” 

“are you sure you’ll want to?” she snaps, looking at you. her fault, she thinks, self-pity morphing into indignation, depsisting you anew. it’s her fault. “you don’t want to chop my legs off first? just to make me an easier weight to lug around?” 

“choose your words wisely, witch,” you warn, eyes glittering with malice, the thrill of an enticing challenge, if only she’ll invite her to go that far. “if you tempt me with more exhilarating ideas like that, i might have to listen to you.” 

chaeyoung glowers darkly at you. a million insults running through her mind, each more rancid than the other, but he obvious revelment in her rage keeps her from speaking it. you had enough victories over her, she decides. 

instead, she turns away from you, gnawing a piece of the rabbit’s thigh into her mouth. 

the first day of ‘real’ traveling through the harsh tundra. nothing but back and forth of bursts of trudging through the snow. it was nothing but a chore for you to ensure that chaeyoung was arm, heating her up when needed, all that in between carrying her. that was the deal. she also notices how quickly susceptible to the cold that left you, the instinct to help you leaves her unsettled but all leaves a simple justification: survival your over pride. i still need her. 

two days pass and chaeyoung feels somewhat recovered. moving her body more and more idly and she’s able to walk farther distances without you having to sweep into your arms every time she cracks in the cold. it was already difficult as it is, food being scarce, the winds pinching away at the skin. the both of you realize the condition that you’re in and she’s the first one to bring it up. 

“we’re lost aren’t we.” 

you stop, the ground breaking under your feet. already, she can sense the annoyance. “what?” 

“we’re lost,” she says again, looking around with an arm flared out, “we’ve passed this tree five times now.” 

you face her irritably, “i know how to move around these woods. we’re fine.” 

“you’re so unbearably blind.” chaeyoung protests, “have you forgotten that we’re stranded on a mountain, and in the middle of nowhere? we don’t have clothes, no shelter, and we can’t even scrape up food up for–” 

“i’m a fucking hunter!” 

“well you can’t hunt now! the animals around here are hibernating! the only reason that we’re still alive is that we’ve been lucky to not die yet!” 

“no.” you walk over to chaeyoung, up close. she could see the snowflakes petering over your long hair. “we’re only alive because of me. i was the one who lit the fire. i hunted for food. and i was the one who found the cave.” 

“and if we both die it’ll be because of you.” the wind blows against them, hair whipping up shivering, ducking into you reflexively as the sole shield radiating body and warmth. you oblige easily, raising a hand to cover chaeyoung’s face from the chill. the hypothermia was becoming more apparent, you both needed to depend on each other. 

“okay,” your voice rumbling against her cheek, “i’ll find us something soon, hopefully.” 

chaeyoung doesn’t thank you however, the shame was over her head greatly. you step away to start walking and she follows along just after. 

it had already turned to dusk when the two of you stumbled at a cabin. the blizzard was already hindering your vision, you drag chaeyoung by the wrist, heaving all that you could despite how slowly she was moving. 

in a wave of positive relief, the door wasn’t bolted down and the knob easily surrendered to your grip. shifting chaeyoung to a bridal carry as you walk past the door frame, she slumps alonsgide your chest, stars in her eyes spotting the large bed with a steep pile of fur blankets and a fireplace. 

“god,” chaeyoung sighs out with a smile tugging her lips. “w-we might actually s-s-s-survive this.” 

you drop chaeyoung to the ground suddenly, a startled yelp as she steadies herself on her feet, still weak.

“you had to remind me that you’re a skeptic just like that.” you mutter, pushing behind her. 

chaeyoung primes a scowl amidst the passing thought of you forgetting and asks cooly, “d-did i offend your high sens-s-siblities?” 

“you’re funny.” you snort kneeling at the fireplace, fingers trembling as you attempt to get a fire starting. 

“you m-m-might have h-hyopthermia,” she says.

“and if i do, then you do too. it seems my cloak and your thin nightgown did little to protect you from the cold.” 

“n-not my fault for being underd-dressed. i was ya-yanked off my bed in the m-middle of the n-night.” 

you roll your eyes.

chaeyoung watches you work in the howling silence. you had found the discarded logs in a set corner of the room and tossed them into the pit. you worked fast however, lighting a spark beneath your flint and steel, fanning the embers until a steady flame appeared in the thin air. 

“this place reeks.” you say, leaning back while chaeyoung huffs. 

“it’s y-you. your clothes stink.” 

“because i’ve let you use them to keep you warm. i’ve been doing all the work here.” you say, standing up. you sniff the collar on your back, chaeyoung nearly laughs at your srcunched face in disgust. “you are right, our clothes are dirty.” 

“i can w-wash them tomorrow.” 

“good.” 

chaeyoung nods and turns around, scanning the darkinteriror. there was a simple rack placed against the wall–probably for clothes and other essential wear, there were some utensils. no kitchen but the hearth, but after fighting against the cold with the food being cooked over a small fire, even that seems something worth celebrating. she smiles, turing around to face you again.

“s-say, you think tomorrow you’ll b-be able to–” 

your shirt was off. 

she wasn’t sure why the image of you strikes her acutely as it did, but it was there and you were shirtless. your black coat, knit sweater, the layered tunics, and your sweaty bra lay at your feet, leaving you in your pants and boots, discarding those right after. when you catch chaeyoung’s eye, she twists away, blood boiling under her skin. 

“w-what are you doing?!” she demands loudly, flustered that her head is ringing. “why are y- why are you na- are you really–?” 

“because our clothes are wet and we’ll both die of hypothermia if we don’t warm our bodies up quickly,” you simply reply, “and you did say the smell.” 

“i-i can just wash t-them!” 

“with what!? we don’t have soap.” 

“i can use my–” 

“i’m not an idiot like the hunters i brought with me, witch. i know that your magic needs an output—your hands—and something solid. you can’t just will things with air alone. it’s either you get your clothes off or we both freeze to death. the nightgown you’re wearing doesn't do much as it already is.” 

chaeyoung stares at the wall, fingers bunching up against her sleeves, which are half frozen and stark cold. even with the fire gradually heating the small cabin, she’s still shivering, fingers hinted purple. it’s a decision she has to make. 

“fine,” she snaps soon after, reaching for the hem of her gown, “but if-if you look, i’ll–” 

“my heart won’t dance for a desire to see you barren, witch. in fact—” you toss a large pelt of fur at her, making her gasp at the weight of it. “cover yourself when you’re done.” 

she frowns but nods silently, glancing over her shoulder to see if you’re looking (you weren’t) and pulls the gown over her head, tugging the socks and underwear off as well. covering herself with the fur, exhaling through her closed teeth. when she approaches the fire, you look over to her, ears slightly hinted with pink, lips and eyebrows clasped together on themselves at what chaeyoung was doing.

“are you seriously trying to warm yourself in front of the fire? have you no knowledge of proper warming techniques?” 

“what?” chaeyoung asks defensively. 

you sit up, the blanket draping to your waist, exposing your skin and the tailored muscle of your upper body. “we need to share body heat to stay warm.” 

chaeyoung blinks rapidly, flustered. “but we’re naked.” 

“that’s kind of the whole point of this thing.” 

“if this is some attempt to–”

“what?” your eyes flash at her challenge, daring to say what she can bring herself to think straight, and after a few moments, she turns away and sighs out. 

“alright,” she starts off, crawling towards you, keeping the large fur on her body with a skin tight grip. “but if you have the slightest thought of—”

“i’d rather feed myself to the wolves than to touch you.” you spit out in frustration. chaeyoung feels a small hint of dismay. your disgust is a doting reminder that you don’t consider her to be a human being. 

the thought chills chaeyoung even after she’s snuggles herself beneath the covers. her skin easing up with shivers, startled when you grab her shoulder. 

“relax,” you say, inching closer. your eyes were shining with utmost intensity. “this is how we survive together.” 

you huddle closer, your hand slipping through her naked waist  and dragging chaeyoung up against you, pressing chests together. a punched out exhale and trembles with so much force that she feels the vibration to her bones. your skin was cold like hers, but there's a small relief with the contact. chaeyoung knows this is how we survive together, and places her hand on your neck. 

you tense at the contact, growling with a flush of pink on your cheeks. “what are you—?”

chaeyoung hushes you. “i’m warming you u-up, mean hunter.” 

you zip your lips after that, eyes getting hazy and after a few seconds, you tap chaeyoung’s hand off. 

the heat loosens your limbs as it grows between you two. chaeyoung sighs, her wet hair brushing against your neck as she shifts. you whisper, “l/n.” 

“what?” 

“my name, y/n l/n.” 

she already knew that though. “okay.” chaeyoung huffs out.

“what’s yours? or should i keep calling you witch.?” 

chaeyoung doesn’t want you to call her anything; names carry so much weight; putting a face to it, making them stand out and different than others, but the warmth must’ve softened her under the covers because she answers your question. “son chaeyoung.” 

“son chaeyoung.” you say her name slowly, accent hugging the syllables the same way her father’s did. the comparison seems too similar. 

within minutes after speaking names, you both fall asleep. 

you wake up the morning after the first night with the witch pressed to your chest, her arms wrapped around your middle, and cheek pressed flat against your breast. her hair on the crown of her head tickles your chin. 

you swat it away with your hands, negating the spike of panic trickling down your spine, and you shift, trying to extract yourself from her grip. chaeyoung hums softly in protest, clinging to you tighter as her eyes flutter open, long lashes shadowing her cheeks. her gaze is half-lidded, exhausted, but once she notices who she’s clinging onto, she pulls away from you as you both sit up on the large bed. 

the awkward silence filling the space between you two, curdling thoughts in your head, but before you could utter something, chaeyoung turned around, her small mouth pressed to a frown. 

“i need animal fat and some wood.” she says, before you could even conjure up a good morning—which you wouldn't have, “so you go hunt today.” 

you eyes squint as you fix your seated position. chaeyoung scoots away to the corner of the bed, her furs covering her slipping beneath the slope of her petite breasts. an action which earns a warning look from you. 

“what’s the use of these items?” 

“to make soap for the laundry. you’ll have to use your dirty clothes still, but the sooner you get me these things, the better.” 

“how do you expect to make soap from fat and bark?” 

“the elders have taught me everything i know.” 

you get up from the bed without looking at chaeyoung, not fazed by the resentment, shivering as you cross over to the lonely rack pilfered with all of the dirty clothes that you’ve worn for the past couple of days. the smell still penetrating through your nostrils, she was right about getting these clothes washed as soon as possible. 

after tugging the heavy jacket over your toned body, you feel chaeyoung’s gaze lasering on you, causing you to turn around and raise a brow at her.

“anything else?” 

“try to get a few animals. i’m gonna need more than one to make enough soap for both of us and our clothes.” 

“that all?” 

“come back quickly, we don’t have any food still.” a second passes before she grumbles another lasting addition. “it’s also cold, so it’s not safe for you to be out that long.” 

you feel your lips twitching—to a frown and surely, “you sound like my old nana.” 

chaeyoung keeps a straight face cooly. “go.” 

you obey while rolling your eyes out the door. slinging a bow and quiver of arrows as you stepped out to the frigid cold, wrapping your cloak more deeply with a drawn out exhale. the thought of tossing the witch chaeyoung out here in the snow for her to suffer as well, but the thought was pointless, nearly impractical. 

as you walk into the forest about twenty minutes away from the cabin, your mind falls into a calming state, a serenity as such with every calming breath leaving your mouth. ears perking to any sudden sound while brandishing your weapon. your experience breaking through the many lessons taught by your father and late brother before they both died. the image of them passing through your mind as the anger from the old memory rises up again. 

a rabbit comes into you line of vision, looking over a small snowy hill with its head moving in all directions, leaping away when it sees you, but you were faster with the arrow shot lodging into its eye. 

“one, but let’s pray that there isn’t a bear nearby.” 

chaeyoung had instructed you to not be out for long, but there's the thought that you and her will be staying in the cabin longer than anticipated, so by getting familiar with the present surroundings around your makeshift home was the more logical idea. everything once barren with life was covered in snow. the cold was unforgiving as it is, a beauty that you could admire. 

the new area is opened up more when you see a frozen lake, placed in the middle of the dead trees. crows surround the lake, flying around before disappearing into the white sky. 

you notice another nearby bird and rabbit, drawing both of your arrows to shoot them at the same time. the bag behind you was now filled with various pieces of animal corpses and wood, the gusts of wind not letting up as you gripped your cloak to ease your shivering. 

“i wished i could be back home, not dealing with any of this ‘life test’.” you say out loud, looking up at the sky and smiling scornfully.

the thoughts of going back home once all of this was still a hopeful premonition you prayed to see through, but you’re reminded of the current situation with chaeyoung still waiting for you back in the cabin. 

gut twisting, gazing at the frozen ice guarding the lake, wondering what the witch was doing. if she was keeping herself warm by the fire, waiting for your return, while you did the dirty work. you growl at the idea, opposed to be heeding to her calls. you swear to finish all of this by making her suffer when the moment presents itself. 

and you will complete the mission, to get the information about the location of the other witches from her before doing the same thing you did to chaeyoung’s village almost an entire week ago. 

it all could’ve been so simple; just slit her throat and leave her. going back home brings a smile to your lips, you could already picture the look on her face, how her hands will claw your shoulders, begging for her life to be spared. the dagger that you used for the wolves and other witches you’ve slain will be the sole tool–pinning her against the floor and then—

you crack open the door and stomp off the snow from your sleek boots, hearing a soft hum coming form the fireplace at the other end. the song preaching about peace and tranquil, hopes of good times coming back sung by a bright pleasant voice that stops all of your motions. 

that’s all stopped suddenly since you startled the witch–chaeyoung–as she faced you, her black eyes wide, color piercing through the cheeks. she sits in front of the fireplace, still naked in the bundle of furs, still embarrassed, to no surprise.

you fight off the urge to smile. ignoring the moment to relish in your delusional madness. 

“you sing like a pretty angel.” you greet with a sheepish tone in your voice, making her irritated automatically. 

“i appreciate the compliment.” chaeyoung scowls at you.

you step inside more, expression miffed. “i wasn’t…you think i was teasing?” 

“weren’t you?” 

“yes,” you immediately answer. your face shifts again, “i was actually, you calming baby beast.” 

“don’t call me that!” she snaps at you, flushing down to her feet, before turning back to the fireplace. she stares at the flame, senses up to eleven as you approach her, holding your bag to her. she takes it, fingers hitting each other for a second, gasping at the sudden cold on our gloves, facing you as she smooths her hand under the sleeves of your cloak and up your wrist. 

“you’re ice cold,” a concerned tone in her voice and stands up. she walks you to the bed, hand on your stomach, dropping to the bed as she pushes you to face the ceiling. you stare at her dazed, chaeyoung placing her palms on the sides of your neck. closing her eyes to focus, she pulses a surge of warmth beneath the hands, sending that same heat to your body. you sigh out a harsh sound, once chaeyoung pull away from you she was satisfied with her work, noticing the pain wincing on your face. 

“thank you.” you were able to croak out. 

chaeyoung nods, feeling the heat rise to her cheeks, stepping away. clinging to her fur tightly reminded of the fact that she was still naked under them, and a lot colder now that she’s used her magic; warming you up with her own body heat. 

you sense this, shooting up to your feet and headed to the same rack that held your clothes before you left this morning, fishing out a garment that was printed with strawberries all over it. she looks at the childish looking fabric as you wrap it over her neck, ears pink as she meets your eyes again. 

“i saw this before i left to hunt.” you say with a low voice, “you also have less clothes compared to me. this should help you a little bit at least.” a few heartbeats pass before you ask, “are you warm?” 

“yes.” chaeyoung replies, hardly uttering from the lump in her throat in addition to the churning turmoil unsettling in her gut. 

you nod. it’s a stoic movement, as if you were unfamiliar with your own act of kindness. you step off to teh side and let her pass, looking away from the new space of proximity. 

“i’ll make the soap now.” 

“good. let me know if you need more things from outside.” you say to her without even looking. 

“you need a bath,” chaeyoung says, almost immediately after she finished up their laundry. “we both do.” 

you look up from your plateful of rabbit, a hint of bread crumbs on your lips. the clothes were drying over the rack, near the fire, so they sat with thick furs covering them. 

“you’re saying that i smell?” you ask. 

“horribly, you have no idea how hard it is to sleep next to you.” 

“didn’t look like that to me earlier this morning.” 

chaeyoung scowls but leaves you to finish the rest of your dinner. once finished, and the clothes have finally dried up, you take the large bucket and step outside. five minutes later you come back inside with the bucket filled with snow and sit back down while they wait. “you gonna go first?” 

“no.” chaeyoung says instantly. “you have to.” 

“why me?” 

“because you’re the one doing the labor.” and hunting, building the fires, carried me around the wilderness for five days, chaeyoung thinks but won’t actually admit. a thought that shouldn’t have crossed her mind but it did. “you smell worse compared to me.” 

your eyes squint in offense, but recede any sort of argument against her. she watches you sniff your arm when you think she looked away for a second, nodding after in agreement. 

when the water in the bucket stars to boil, dragging it away from the fireplace, waiting for it to cool down. once at a bearable temperature, you strip. chaeyoung’s cheeks shoot red and immediately turns toward the small dining table. you had a terrible habit of doing that in front of her. any given moment to change, you never gave her a heads up. 

“this bucket is a little small baby beast.” you grumble, chaeyoung fights the response of stop calling me that–she’s tried. no luck, you were attached to that nickname now–turning around to say, “not a bucket technically, more of a tub and–” 

she stops herself with a muted giggle, pressing her fingers to lips. you stare at her, your arms submerged in the water, knees peeking through the surface and your shoulders shuugged up to your ears. as she just thought, you were a little too tall with muscle to actually fit inside. 

“don’t–” 

“i wasn’t laughing, nothing that you do is amusing enough.” 

“then how come you’re smiling at me right now?” 

“i’m not–” cutting yourself off when she notices something, pulling her hand away at the new question in her head. “are you not going to wash your hair?” 

“i just did.” 

“it doesn’t look like it touched the water.” 

“i put some water in it.” 

“with soap?” 

“just water.” 

chaeyoung cringes while standing up. “you’re an idiot, you have long hair and you don’t know how to wash it?” 

“i know how to!” you retort. “i just don’t like sleeping with wet hair.” 

“well you’re not going to sleep if you don’t was your hair.” 

“alright!” you snap, reaching for the small bar of soap and rubbing it in between your palms. “are you happy now?” 

“not exactly what i meant.” chaeyoung replies while watching you weave your fingers through your hair with the soapy substance. she steps closer to you, dipping her fingers into the water to wet them a little bit, picking up the bar of soap and runs her fingers through your hair.

with the initial stiffness, you relax into her easing touch, leaning towards her when she rubs her thumbs against your temples. the water was more tepid now than five minutes ago, so with a deep breath, chaeyoung draws heat to her palms, scraping lightly against your scalp, sighing out in relief. 

chaeyoung’s fingers slide down to the nape of your neck, massaging the tense muscle group there. you slouch even more, mouth parte, and she starts to take note of the lines on your face: the high brow and sharp cheekbones, the pink curve of your mouth, and the flawless sculpt of your jaw. the roots of your hair on the top of your head were healthy to chaeyoung’s shock. 

she also doesn’t recall seeing someone like you growing up and going to many different villages of different witches, but you really were a beautiful woman, a shame that beauty was wasted on you. 

“you’ve been feeling my face for too long, witch.” you slur out, fingers still tickling your scalp as chaeyoung clicks her tongue. 

“i think i’d rather drown you like this, idiot hunter.” 

“y/n.” you whipser mindlessly, before holding yourself back of speaking another word. once washing the suds away from your hair, chaeyoung wipes her hands in the fur. you look at her, blinking the dreamy layer in your eyes, and it was here that the reality of her actions begin to brew a change of heart. she turns away, staring at her kneecaps. 

you get up from the large bucket and dry yourself with a stretch of fabric that chaeyoung found while you were out. after putting back on the clean, dry clothes, you take the bucket back outside and return with a fresh pile of snow for chaeyoung’s bath. 

why did i do that? chaeyoung thinks slently, embarrassment through the roof within her. i didn’t need to do that. 

just minutes later you come back inside, placing the bucket near the fire again. you turn to seek chaeyoung again, finding her on the floor clearly shivering. 

“are you cold?” you ask, reaching for her stack of furs. 

“a little b-bit.” 

“you’re freezing.” you observe, covering her with the pelt of fur before placing your palm on the flat side of her cheek. 

“it’s the fire isn’t it.” 

“no i-it’s my magic.” 

“your magic?” 

“when i-i warm my palms, i have to use my o-own body h-heat to use it. making me a l-lot more colder t-then for a c-couple of h-hours.” 

your face becomes slack jawed, “so that’s why you were cold when i came back earlier?” 

chaeyoung nods, your brows furrow, and you pull the bucket away from the fire. you place your hand on the outer rim, letting the hot water burn your fingers. “you should’ve waited for me.” 

“i had t-to. we need each other remember? i can’t survive if you’re suffering from hypothermia too.” 

“this shouldn’t be an issue, chaeyoung.” 

“well for now it is, but i need you to be healthy for me in order to get better.” 

“and i need you to be warm for me.” 

chaeyoung’s throat closes in on itself. the crackling flame was all that was heard in the room. its light emiitng just enough for her eyes to see your harsh muscle and shadowed outlines, but your eyes were soft and gleaming. dark brown. 

as always since they first met, she was the one to turn away from you first. 

you sigh, tapping the bucket, “your bath is ready baby beast. hurry up so that we can go to bed, it’s late.” 

the days pass by and the routine was oh so easy to fall into, nothing else mattered–but your own survival. 

you get up in the mornings while chaeyoung is still asleep to build the fire up so that when you leave to go hunting again, the cabin would be already warm for her when she wakes up. to keep themselves busy, she would make breakfast next to the fireplace that they eat together on the floor. 

if there was a small shortage of food, you’d go out to hunt. if the clothes were dirty, chaeyoung would be the one to wash them. a tear in the fabric, she sews them. regular housekeeping duties as the harsh winter weather starts to let up little by little, day by day. 

on one occasion, you bring back a pocketful of nuts, probably stolen from a squirrel or something of that degree, and it excites chaeyoung beyond all reason. 

she’s enjoying this far more than she should, but it was so simple to think about. 

“you’re from the kingdom?” chaeyoung asks, one morning while still snuggled up in bed. 

it was early that the sun was breaking through the peaks, a calming white light glaring through the windows. you lean up on your elbow, cheek against your fist as you softly smile at her. “have you ever been to the mainland? or a city for that matter?” 

“no.” chaeyoung admits, unashamed from the snickering coming out of your mouth soon after. “i grew up in the mountains.” 

“for all of your life?” 

“pretty much, but with my parents of course.” 

“i figured.” you smugly say, rubbing your finger against the beauty mark under the right side of her bottom lip. “you didn’t look like the others back in the village.” 

chaeyoung looks away from your gaze for a moment, recalling the image of little diana’s body. a wave of anger building up from the sentimental moment, but she doesn’t want to think about it now. 

“they took me in after my parents died.” she says to you. you expression shifts and you lean a little more closer with the cover still enveloping you. 

“how old were you when that happened?” 

“i was nine. a sudden plague sweeped the town i was living at and it nearly took everyone. at the same time, a wise woman found me and sensed my potential power, so she asked me to come with her.” 

“that must’ve been hard.” 

“it was, but i didn’t have anywhere to go.” 

you stare, a strange glint dashing at your eyes. after a moment, “i lost my mother too around that age.”

“oh.” chaeyoung breathes out, leaning up to match you. “was she also caught with the sickness too?” 

you sit up, gaze still locked with hers, face not contorting a single emotion at all, “not exactly.” 

sitting on the edge of the bed, you grip the frame with your fingers, chaeyoung’s resenmnt tolls through her again; she didn’t like how you’d get suddenly depressed when you were just simply opening up about your life to her. it was unbearable to watch sometimes. 

she sits next to you, touching your arm. when you look back at her, she asks, “tell me more about this kingdom.” 

“why would you want to know?” 

“beacuse i want to hear what it’s like, the mountains here are the only thing i know around here.” 

“well,” you huff out, “where do i even start? we have houses like yours, but built properly, people in the kingdom have similar jobs like yours; eating, cleaning, trading. it’s all protected by this wall that keeps most of the outside threats away. 

“really? it’s the same as the village?” 

you smirk, “yes, sort of, but it’s kind of like the same concept really.” you say, clutching your leg as you stare up at the ceiling. 

she hums with a slight giddy to her attitude, you then ask, “so what about you? what’s it like in the village?” 

chaeyoung purses her lips thinking about the question, trying to not say anything stupid, “well, when i wasn’t focused on my craft, i was always keeping an eye on the younger girls.” 

“your village was all girls?”

“yes,” chaeyoung admits, blushing a bit. “in fact, you’re the first woman hunter that i’ve seen as a proper leader of their pack.” 

“really?” 

“mhm” she hums, pressing her jaw against her knee, eyes trailing off your jawline. “i’ve always wondered about something.” 

“what is it?” 

“are there other female witch hunters like you?” 

“well,” you start off by saying, “i’ve heard the rumors but to my knowledge i’m the only one around here.” 

“oh.” 

“you seem shocked.” 

“i’m not.” she says, shaking her head. “you’re a lot more mature than the disgusting men you had as your fellow hunters.” 

“i appreciate the compliment, those men were dumbasses towards you after all.” 

chaeyoung scoffs at what you said, gazing into your features again as the light started breaking more and more into the cabin. 

“we should start the day early shouldn’t we?” you say, grabbing a shirt from one of the posts on the bed and slipping it on, “i still have the three birds that you can cook from yesterday, that’s our breakfast.” 

“okay.” 

“i’ll also get more firewood outside too, we’re almost out.” 

“okay.” chaeyoung says again, but before you start to head out she adds, “i’m glad that it’s you that i’m stuck with and not those men.” 

your lips part for a moment, “i’m glad that we’ve survived for this long together too.” 

“so what about–”

you toss the strawberry printed fabric towards chaeyoung on the bed, cheeks hinting with a small pink facing away from her, “you’re gonna need this.” 

“baby beast.” 

chaeyoung moans softly under the covers, turning away from your hand and tries to go back to sleep. the hand at her shoulder continues to shake her more persistently, “wake up, i wanna show you something.” 

she huffs out and rolls to her left side, facing you, eyes fluttering open to meet yours. you smile and lean over her, bruising the wispy bangs from her face. “are you gonna get out of bed now?” 

“why?” she asks, nearly whining. your grin widens at the sound of her tickling your ear drums. 

“there’s a lake here i want you to see.” 

“the lake?” chaeyoung stretches out to see you shuffle over to the other end of the cabin, fetching her cloak and boots, shoving her feet inside the warm objects while wrapping the cloak over her shoulders, watching you pat down the cloak and tie the strings at her chest. getting the small strawberry printed fabric for her to carry in her pocket. 

“what’s there at the lake?” she asks you, rubbing her eyes again to make her more awake. 

“nothing special.” you say, but your eyes were beaming with pure excitement like a child, “i just want you to see it like i did.” 

in a few minutes, both of you are properly dressed and out the door. despite the chilling air, chaeyoung sigs when she steps into the snowy ground, looking up to inhale the sharp, crisp air, watching her breath materialize into a small fog in front of her. she missed going outside because of the lack of body temperature and proper clothing.

you didn’t like chaeyoung to be out for more than actually needed, but the worst part of the winter had eased up by this point so it’s not that dangerous to get out of the cabin for once. 

leading her into the first, chaeyoung is astonished by the sight, the trees arching above her head that she couldn’t see the branches on them. the white snow glittering beneath her feet, reflecting off the sunlight beaming down on them. the view was majestic, and a sight that she wishes she had forced herself up right away at first to see earlier. 

you take her hand, chaeyoung looks up to see your impatience, dragging her along the trail, making her almost jog slightly because of your long graceful strides. 

“why are we walking fast? won’t we scare the animals?” 

“yes, but i’m technically hunting them so it wouldn’t even matter. anyway, better for us to make noise to scare a wolf or bear rather than staying quiet and run into one.” 

“and if we did?” 

you smirk, “then i’d kill it myself to get a new coat.” you say with eagerness. 

chaeyoung doesn’t have the courage to tell you that you’d likely die before pulling that off. 

you and her both slow down your pace once guiding her past the slew of trees. with your hands on chaeyoung’s shoulders, you push her past the short bushes and into an open space. her view takes in the frozen lake in the center, sprinkled with snow in different patches across the icy layer. she sees a lonely cub sliding across the lake, clearly lost looking for its mother. 

you lean in close, your breath tickling the hair on her nape, “do you see that little bear cub standing there?” 

“i do.” 

the cub then runs away funnily, reaching the other side of the lake with ease before disappearing into the sea of trees. “it reminds me of you, baby beast.” 

chaeyoung then rips her gaze away from the sight to look up at you, staring down at her, the shine her eyes becoming more and more familiar, almost as if she’s used to your teasing, then glancing away from you after. her body warms up suddenly, but not to the point to diminish the shiver that rolls across her skin when another wave of wind blows in again, making you turn chaeyoung into your arms. 

“cold?” 

“i–” 

you didn’t even bother waiting for her answer, hands sliding beneath her cloak and around her waist. her nightgown bunching up between your palms, sliding them up and down, making chaeyoung flush up quickly, turning her head to your throat and closing her eyelids against your neck. 

“how’s that feel?” 

“better.” chaeyoung whispers against your skin. 

she wants to break away from your grasp. the fact that you’re holding her and she’s allowing it should be ringing alarms in her head, she’s supposed to push you away, but for some reason–she can’t find a reason why.

“i think we should head back now. the cold is getting to you again.” 

“it isn’t, but—” a sudden realization comes back to her mind, glazing at the mound of snow before meeting your eyes, hands clasping yours through the thick woolen gloves. “can i show you something before we go?” 

“um, yeah. sure.” you reply confusedly, thrown off by her earnestness. 

chaeyoung then pulls you over to a small area nearby the meeting point of the frozen lake with the ground, eyes flickering towards before looking at the snow. closing her eyes and exhaling out a warm breath against the icy surface, a small sparkle shimmers through her fingertips for a few seconds. at the end of that, a snowdrop appears to sprout from the cold dirt. she smiles with her mouth stretching from one end of her face to the other, glancing at you looking intrigued. 

“do you like it?” 

you knelt down to examine the flower, studying it with a tilted head. “i’ve never seen this one in the books back at home. what is it?” 

“oh, it’s just some kind of flower. i don’t actually know what it is either, but it’s pretty isn’t it?” 

you pluck the flower from the ground as soon she finishes her answer, breath hitching when you nestle it in between her hair, fingers grazing the outer lobe of her ear. you smile, your eyes warm with so much fondness as well as glowing in a soft color, a calming color actually. 

“it’s beautiful.” you whisper out. 

chaeyoung almost cries, catching herself melt for a slight second. 

later on the way back to the cabin, chaeyoung hears a string of cracks in the trees to her right side. you pick up on the sound too, putting yourself in front of her as protection when they see the movement in the lines of trunks finally come into formation—another wolf. 

chaeyoung is startled at the similar sight of the wolf that tried to devour her when she first got captured, but this was different since she was now with you, but the situation wasn’t safe just yet. 

“we’re gonna make a run for the cabin, okay? it’s just up this trail. chaeyoung, i need you to keep your head forward and don’t look back, i’ll draw it’s attention away from you.” 

“but-”

“i need you to trust me.” you say, “i’ll protect you, just get to the cabin. let me take care of this.” 

chaeyoung swallows the growing lump in her throat, complying with your request. the both of you start running with the wolf tailing just a few meters away behind you two. the cabin was just a couple short seconds away and you look back at the wolf who was approaching closer. 

“get inside and lock the door!” you command chaeyoung as she continues to run up the trail, doing exactly as you were told while she still worried about you. she couldn’t bear to look out the window, her ears hearing your yells and the wolf growls, the bashing of different objects mixed in with your pants. 

she didn’t know how long it was since she first got back inside, but to her shock, she sees you stumbling inside the door, carrying something very unfamiliar. 

chaeyoung notices the many gashes that were marked on your skin, the body of the same wolf that chased you two just behind you, the fur scratched, but still salvageable. 

“did you just?!” she cries out, rushing towards you, grabbing your head while you wore a mad grin, eyes half lidded and face scratched up. 

“you were right about the wolf thing you know.” 

“i can’t—” her breath hitches, choking down a sob. “i can’t believe you did that.” 

you grip matches hers on your wrist that was on your face, “i protected you,” you whisper out, getting hazily. 

the way that your head was moving so much and the glint in your eyes, it seemed that the fight almost took you out entirely. 

chaeyoung huffs, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and brings you to the bed, where she lays you down carefully, smoothing your hair away from your disfigured face from the cuts. she leaves you to get a bowl full of snow from outside, you frowning once she returned.

“why’d you go outside?” 

“to get you something to cool these cuts from the stupid wolf.” 

“but i killed it still.” 

“well that doesn’t matter!” chaeyoung snaps at you, placing the bowl on top of the fireplace. “take your shirt and bra off, i have to see your other cuts for me to properly heal you.” 

you pout but follow along by taking off the jacket from your shoulders, wincing while the shirt came off of you, leaving you barren with your breasts out. chaeyoung notices the additional marks scattered across your midsection. if you did…and she wasn’t here with you—

“sorry, for being stupid.” you say with a prideful gloat.

“y/n, i can’t—” chaeyoung cries out, covering her mouth. “you could have died if you fought any longer.” 

“say that again.” 

“huh?!”

she pulls her hands way from her mouth, meeting your eyes as you clasp her wrist again, eyes looking woozy, almost drunken. “my name, say it again, baby beast.” 

“y/n, what—” 

you groan out in rapture, chaeyoung blushes for a second before taking the wet rag and swipes it across your skin, brushing over the wounds carefully. at the end, the water is coloered with a hint of pink and the rag is completely soaked, but the wounds are cleaned, now it’s just a matter of getting you patched up. 

chaeyoung taps your cheek, leaning over you, “okay, i need you to be awake for this next part. i’m going to heal your wounds.” 

“wait don’t–” you mumble out. 

“why?” a wall of protection builds from her facial expression, “you don’t want my demon magic over you?” 

“i don’t want you to faint on me.” 

“it’s fine.” chaeyoung mutters, ducking her head in shame before centering her hands over your abs. 

she moves her hands across your upper body, healing every slice and tear that was across your flesh. even the minor bruises from the bumps and hits you took not from the wolf, ensuring that everything was healed properly. once finished, chaeyoung collapses on top of you, her head drowsy. 

“i told you to not faint silly.” 

“you left me,” she trails off, “no other choice.” whispering the last sentence before passing out, making you shift her over your lap, wrapping your arms around her for a slight hug–a sign of thankfulness coming out of you which was rare.

“looks like i have to take care of you now.” 

chaeyoung was already passed out as you slide her underneath the furs, secugen her across your chest, nestling her face on your warm skin, feeling her pulse beat under your fingers. the relief finally settles in her, letting out a small sob. since when did the thought of you dying start to terify her more than being alive? 

as chaeyoung fingers graze your bare back, you plant a faint kiss on her temple and cheek. 

“rest well, chaeyoung."

#twice x reader #twice imagines #kpop x reader #twice chaeyoung #son chaeyoung #chaeyoung fluff #twice fluff #kpop fluff #twice angst #chaeyoung angst #saiiidahyunee

[roses-prose]

Your Love Isn't Gone

park chaeyoung x reader

word count: 1005

a/n: inspired by an ao3 fic i read a long time ago

You're not sure what made you believe this was a good idea, meeting up with your ex and coming over to her apartment alone. But here you were now sitting the opposite of her, catching all the small things you remember about her.

Roseanne park. The woman who had it all and at the same time, feeling like she had nothing at all. Her fingers dragged across the edges of the pages in her tiny journal, the one she always brings around to jot her ideas down, as she always loved the way the pages felt against her fingertips. She sets the journal down, her lips meeting the probably now very cold rim of her cup to take a quick sip of coffee.

"Hi Roseanne."

Her face seems almost shocked as she puts her cup down, her pink lipstick marking the edge of it, "I haven't heard you call me that in a long time."

"Well", you continue to avoid her gaze, eyes scanning through her apartment, "We haven't spoken together in a long time anyways."

Sitting in front of her now, you hate to admit it but your heart still feels that spark of affection you've felt all those months ago. Neither of you speak up as you pour yourself a glass of water, the quiet jazz of the speakers in the corner of her room not enough to drown out the silence.

It was common for you to be left alone, sitting in the silence but for her, maybe not so much. She hated it. She hated how it made her feel. Maybe that's why she was away so often.

She lets out a small sigh, her face riddled with the look of disappointment, either because of you or herself, you don't know. "I'm sorry."

Your brows knit together, "For what?"

Her hands start trying to talk for her, the words not seeming to be able to come out of her mouth, "For... you know."

And this was where she, the global superstar, seemed to fall short. The way she can't seem to tell you what's on her mind. The way she can't express herself. "I don't know."

She lets out a small chuckle, trying to lighten the mood as her fingers fiddled together under the table, "You're really not making this easy for me."

Your lips turn into a wry smile as you poke at your food that she prepared for you, not really wanting to eat a single bite despite it all looking honestly delicious. "I'm not sure what you mean, Roseanne."

Her face visibly seems hurt at the name that escapes your mouth, "Please, can you... not call me that?" Her voice almost seems to crack at the end her question, her eyes softening as she lets out another dreadful sigh, "I know... I fucked up. Badly."

Invisible strings seemed to pull at your heart, your strong façade seeming to break away as you mulled over her words. She never admitted her mistakes. She'd always cover them up with kisses and lies.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me nor am I asking you to even let me back into your life but... I want you to know that I am sorry." Her tone is soft. And for the first time here, you see her smile, albeit wryly. The silence envelops the two of you again as you took a sip of your drink, her eyeing you from across the table.

The silence never was comfortable per se between the two of you, but it was always there whether you liked it or not. "... Do you remember our first date?"

She seems to be caught off guard by the question, before she laughs softly into her hand, "I do. When you fell on your face, right?"

You smile gently, "then you fell right behind me so I quote on quote, "Wouldn't feel embarrassed doing it alone"."

"I'd still do it now, you know." she remarks, the awkward and stiff tension in the air seeming to disappear slowly between the two of you. She points at the bridge of her nose as you laugh, "If you look closely enough, I still have the scar. All the staff members were so mad at me that day."

You two begin to reminisce about all the fun memories you two had together from that time she baked madeleines and accidently used salt instead of sugar leaving you thirsty and disgusted, to that time she came over to your house at 2 in the morning to celebrate your birthday early with a song she made, or to that time you thought you misplaced your favorite hoodie but in reality she was wearing it the entire day.

It's the thought of the quick kisses you two shared in the morning before she went to work, the days you two decide to sleep in and call in sick, and the stupid things you two did together that makes you realize it slowly but surely.

You missed her. You missed the fun you two had despite everything that's happened and you see the way she remembers it all, the memories seeming to spark something inside of her. You set your glass aside again, the sight of her feeling so happy and carefree making you smile.

"... I do forgive you." The words don't come easy to you as your emotions begins to clog up your throat, the words coming out so abruptly, that even you weren't expecting it.

You see her eyes light up as she stares at you in surprise, her lips almost beginning to twitch into a small smile at the name you call her. "It's hard to hate you... Rosie."

"So does that mean... will I see you again?" The question is abrupt as your own words, almost interrupting all train of thought as her tone is hopeful and ambitious.

You smile gently, "I still have the same number." And that's all she really needed to hear to know you weren't gone for good.

#roses prose #r writes #rosé x reader #park chaeyoung x reader #chaeyoung x reader #kpop imagines #blackpink imagines #blackpink x reader #rosé x yn #rosé scenarios #rosé blackpink #rosé imagines #rosé fluff #blackpink fluff #rosé angst #blackpink angst #park chaeyoung angst #chaeyoung fluff #chaeyoung angst

[alcoholfreenayeon]

Don’t Call Me Again

Chaeyoung x Reader

CW: very light fluff, angst

Word count: 900

Synopsis: I regret from the very core of my heart for hurting you this bad, I am sorry.  

AN: Yes I know this is the wrong day for it😭but I feel it’s relevant right now and also because I need a bit more for the other one. I’ll post it tomorrow instead.

You watched as the car door opened and Chaeyoung got out, you couldn’t help but smile, her cute little jump to avoid the puddle, the way she smiled uncontrollably when she spotted you, everything about her was so cute, so perfect. She walked up to you still smiling sheepishly, looking at you for a moment before quickly grabbing you and embracing you in a tight hug. At this point, admittedly you were beginning to feel a bit emotional, but you managed to fight those emotions off, for now at least.

Still holding on to you, she pulled her head back and looked at you, still smiling happily, “It’s been so long”, she said before slumping her head against your shoulder, her tone changing to a more serious one. That stung a little, you knew it had been, usually her tours make you miss her a lot, but you never really considered that she might miss you just as much if not more. After all, she does become quite loving and needy when she’s stressed. Nevertheless, you both finally pull back and Chaeyoung slips her hands into yours and that’s something you can never get tired of.

The two of you walked a little, going towards the spot where you both kissed for the first time. As you both approached it, you began to brace yourself to tell Chaeyoung but before you could, she suddenly let go of your hand and turned. She was walking backwards, unable to stop smiling at you, her cheeks rosy. You were about to tell it her when she suddenly spoke, “Oh! Pretty!”, she exclaimed, plucking a flower off the ground, smelling it, and smiling at you. She then takes a step closer and tiptoes, tucking it behind your ear and kissing your cheek and smiling lovingly at you, her hand lingering on the spot she kissed. She is making this so much more difficult than it needs to be. Is this a mistake? How were you going to tell her that you wanted to break up…

“Chaeyoung…”, you said quietly, beginning to feel tears build up in your eyes, “This is-this isn’t going to work.”

“Huh”, She said, confused by your suddenness, “What are you talking about?”

Why, why is she making you repeat, you already felt like a monster for doing this to her. She didn’t deserve it, she doesn’t deserve this. But you just can’t keep going on like this, having her go off to the other side of the world for months. You know it’s selfish, you know it’s stupid, but you just can’t keep doing this. You want her all the time and it’s clear you won’t get that from her anytime soon. So its best that you end it now before you lose your nerve, before she makes you change your mind, before she makes promises you she wont be able to keep.

“I think we should break up.”, you said in a shaky voice as you felt tears beginning to fall. You didn’t deserve to shed tears, not after what you are doing. “We-we don’t spend enough time together, we can’t go out half the time or places, it’s just too much. I can’t handle it all. I’m done”, you say the last part more harshly than you intended. “I-I am sorry, but I can’t, I love you, I really do but I think it’s better for us”, you blurt out, regretting each word but you had come too far to back out now.

Chaeyoung looked back at you confused, panicked, hurt, betrayed, she tried to reach out for your hand, but you step back, hating yourself more than ever. She didn’t say anything, but you could hear her breath heavily in panic, she looked like she wanted to say so many things to you right now but couldn’t find the words. You see tears building up in her eyes and it’s too much for you. You turn around and speed off, not looking back once because you are a monster, because you are cowardly, because you are weak. You know if you look back, you’ll cry, you’ll beg her to forgive you, to take you back. And Chaeyoung will. She will take you back without any hesitation, she will cry her heart out, she will ask you what she did wrong, what she can do to change, what she can do to stop you from feeling this way. And the truth is nothing. Because she doesn’t need to change. She was, is perfect. It’s you who’s full of fault, full of insecurities, full of weakness. As you sit in your car, you begin to sob, looking at your phone, at your and Chaeyoung’s messages, knowing you need to block her before she texts you. But it’s too late, before you can gather her strength to do that, you receive a text from her, ‘Please don’t go.’. And you close your eyes in pain, what have you done, you hate yourself, you look at the block button and feel your heart pound knowing its now or never, you take a deep breath and make your choice…  

#angst april #ask me anything #answered asks #anon ask #twice #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #reader x idol #twice chaeyoung #twice scenarios #twice angst #chaeyoung fluff #kpop gg #chaeyoung x reader #chaeyoung angst #kpop angst #twice fluff #son chaeyoung #chaeyoung twice

[the-goldenbunny-diaries]

Fractured Bonds

⚢ Pairing - Chaeyoung x Reader

✎ Word Count - 2.6k

☆ Genre - Angst

▲ TW! - Mentions of thoughts of cutting (nothing too bad, no blood or anything)

♡ Description - When the mental breaks the physical bonds between you and Chaeyoung (A/N: this is partly based on a true story so please go easy on me if its a bit all over the place)

★・・・・・・★

You first met Chaeyoung on a warm summer day, completely by chance. You were attending a local art exhibition, wandering through the vibrant displays of creativity, when your paths crossed. There she was, standing in front of a mesmerizing painting, her eyes captivated by the artist's brushstrokes. You couldn't help but be drawn to her genuine curiosity and passion for art. Seizing the opportunity, you struck up a conversation, discussing the artwork and your shared love for creativity. She was captivating, with a smile that could light up the darkest room and a personality that made everyone feel at ease. 

From that moment on, it was as if the universe had conspired to bring you together. You both spent hours talking, laughing, and getting to know each other and as the sun set on that unforgettable day, you knew that this encounter was the start of something truly magical. Little did you know that your meeting would mark the beginning of a profound connection that would forever change your lives.

Your relationship with Chaeyoung blossomed, and you shared everything with each other, from your dreams and aspirations to your fears and struggles. However, as time went on, you began to notice that you were grappling with your mental health. Anxiety and depression started to take a toll on you, and simple tasks became increasingly difficult.

As you struggled with your mental health, the weight on your shoulders felt unbearable. Each day became a battle, as anxiety and depression seemed to conspire against your peace of mind. Simple tasks like getting out of bed, preparing a meal, or even answering a phone call became daunting challenges. It was as if a heavy fog had settled over your life, clouding your thoughts and emotions.

In the beginning, you tried to keep your struggles hidden from Chaeyoung, fearing that revealing your vulnerability would push her away. But as our bond grew stronger, it became harder to conceal the storm raging inside you. Trying to keep your mental health struggles a secret, you often battled your inner turmoil in silence.

One night, as the weight of your emotions became unbearable, you sought refuge in the bathroom, hoping to hide your pain from the world. You found yourself clutching a blade, contemplating an unhealthy way to cope with the overwhelming feelings inside. However, fate had different plans that night. Just as you tried to wrestle with your inner demons alone, Chaeyoung sensed that something was wrong. Her intuition led her to follow you to the bathroom, and with concern in her voice, she gently knocked on the door. "Are you okay in there?" she asked, her worry reaching you through the wooden barrier. Caught off guard and unable to hide any longer, you unlocked the bathroom door, revealing your vulnerable state, Chaeyoung's eyes widened with concern. 

"Hey, what's going on? Why are you holding that?" she asked, her voice shaky as she gestured towards the blade in your hand.

Tears continued to flow, and you struggled to find the right words. "I... I've been feeling so overwhelmed, Chaeyoung. I didn't want you to see me like this," you admitted, feeling a mix of relief and fear at her presence.

Chaeyoung stepped closer, gently taking the blade from your hand and setting it aside. "It's okay," she said softly, wrapping her arms around you. "You don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you, no matter what you're going through."

"But it's so hard, Chaeyoung. I feel like I'm drowning in my own thoughts," you confessed, burying your face in her shoulder.

She held you tighter, her voice soothing. "I can't pretend to know exactly how you feel, but I want to understand. You can talk to me about what you're going through. We'll face this together."

Her words struck a chord deep within you, and you finally let yourself open up about the struggles you had been keeping hidden. You spoke about the weight of anxiety that often crippled you, the overwhelming sadness that seemed to have no end and the fear that you were burdening her with your problems.

Chaeyoung listened attentively, wiping away your tears with a gentle touch. "You're not burdening me," she said firmly. "I care about you deeply, and I want to support you through the good and the bad. We're a team, remember?"

A mixture of emotions washed over you, feeling both vulnerable and grateful for her understanding. "I just don't want you to think less of me because of all this," you whispered, afraid of being judged.

Chaeyoung pulled back slightly, looking directly into your eyes. "I don't think less of you, not at all," she said earnestly. "Your struggles don't define you. I see a strong, caring, and resilient person who I love deeply."

In that moment, you felt a sense of relief wash over you, knowing that you didn't have to hide your pain anymore. Chaeyoung's unwavering support made you realize that you were not alone in your battle with mental health, and that together, you could face whatever challenges lay ahead. From that point on, the bond between you and Chaeyoung grew even stronger, built on a foundation of trust, empathy, and love.

★・・・・・・★

However, as time went on and your mental health struggles persisted, you noticed a shift in Chaeyoung's behavior. She started to express frustration when you couldn't simply "snap out of it" or "think positively." It seemed as though she couldn't grasp the overwhelming nature of mental health challenges and expected me to overcome them effortlessly.

Her lack of understanding made you feel isolated and judged. You began to question whether you were a burden, and self-doubt crept into your mind, exacerbating your emotional turmoil. Whenever you needed reassurance or validation, you hesitated to reach out to her, fearing another dismissive response. 

The strain in your relationship intensified, as the person you had turned to for comfort was now the source of additional stress. you longed for her to see the pain you were experiencing and to offer a compassionate ear, but instead, you felt invalidated and unsupported.

Your communication deteriorated as you struggled to explain the complexities of your mental health while she grew impatient with your emotional struggles. you found myself internalizing your pain, withdrawing further into myself to avoid confrontation and rejection.

As days and weeks went by, the constant backlash from Chaeyoung caused tensions to rise between the two of you. The breaking point came during a particularly vulnerable moment when you reached out to Chaeyoung for solace. It was a day when you were feeling particularly vulnerable and needed her support more than ever. You had planned to attend a social gathering, but as the event approached, anxiety began to consume you. Doubts and insecurities plagued your mind, and you found it difficult to shake off the feeling of impending judgment and rejection.

Hesitant to burden Chaeyoung with your worries, you tried to put on a brave face and attended the gathering with her by your side. However, as the evening progressed, you couldn't help but withdraw into yourself, feeling overwhelmed by the crowd and the incessant noise. You clung to Chaeyoung, seeking comfort and reassurance, but she seemed preoccupied and distant, leaving you feeling even more isolated in the midst of the crowd.

As the social gathering progressed and you began to feel overwhelmed, you found a quiet corner away from the crowd and motioned for Chaeyoung to join you. "Hey, Chaeyoung, can we talk for a moment?" you asked, your voice tinged with vulnerability.

Chaeyoung followed you to the corner, but her attention seemed divided, making you hesitant to open up. "What's on your mind?" she asked, her gaze wandering to the rest of the gathering.

Taking a deep breath, you mustered the courage to share your feelings. "I'm feeling really anxious here, Chaeyoung. The noise and the crowd are making it hard for me to focus. I just need a bit of support right now," you admitted, hoping she would understand.

Chaeyoung glanced at you briefly before turning her attention back to the party. "Come on, it's not that bad. Just try to enjoy the moment," she replied, her words lacking the empathy you had hoped for.

Feeling dismissed, you pressed on, needing her to grasp the depth of your emotions. "It's not that simple for me. I'm trying, but it's tough," you said, your voice trembling with the weight of your feelings.

She let out a sigh, seeming impatient. "You're always so sensitive. Can't you just relax and have fun like everyone else?" she remarked, the disappointment evident in her tone.

Her response felt like a blow to your already fragile state of mind. "Chaeyoung, it's not about sensitivity. This is real for me, and I just need someone to understand," you pleaded, hoping she would offer the support you needed.

Her eyes flickered with irritation as she replied, "Fine, but can we talk about this later? I don't want it to ruin the evening."

Feeling hurt and dismissed, you withdrew further into yourself. The silence that followed only intensified the feelings of isolation, making you wonder if you could truly rely on her to be there for you during your most vulnerable moments.

As the night wore on, the tension between you and Chaeyoung continued to simmer, setting the stage for the argument that would later unfold, ultimately leading to the painful realization that your needs and expectations in the relationship were not being met.

The car ride back to their shared apartment was filled with a heavy silence that seemed to echo the unspoken tension between you and Chaeyoung. Both of you sat in the car, lost in your own thoughts, the distance between you palpable. The events of the evening and the hurtful exchange lingered in the air, and you couldn't find the words to break the silence. Each passing moment only reinforced the growing chasm that had formed between you, leaving you feeling more distant than ever. As the city lights blurred outside the window, the quiet car ride felt like a reflection of the growing emotional distance, a stark contrast to the connection you once shared.

Once you arrived back at the shared apartment, the tension from the quiet car ride seemed to reach its breaking point. Unable to bear the emotional weight any longer, you finally spoke up, voicing your hurt and frustration. "Chaeyoung, I needed your support tonight, and you seemed distant and dismissive. It hurts that you couldn't understand what I was going through," you began, your voice trembling with emotion. 

Chaeyoung, feeling defensive, responded with frustration, "I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this. Can't you just handle your emotions on your own?" Her words struck a nerve, and before you knew it, the fight escalated into a heated exchange of grievances, with both of you struggling to bridge the gap in your perspectives. The once loving and understanding relationship now felt like a battleground of hurt feelings and misunderstandings, leading to the heartbreaking realization that the bond you once cherished was unraveling before your eyes.

As emotions reached a boiling point, the tension in the room was palpable. Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to express the pain you felt. "Chaeyoung, I just need you to understand that my mental health is a real challenge for me. It's not something I can control or just 'get over,'" you said, your voice trembling.

Chaeyoung sighed, her frustration evident in her tone. "I get that you're going through a tough time, but sometimes it feels like you're just being overly needy and dramatic. Can't you try to be more positive?"

Her words hit you like a punch to the gut. "Chaeyoung, I'm not choosing to feel this way. I wish I could be more positive too, but it's not that simple," you pleaded, hoping she would see the pain behind your eyes.

She looked away, seemingly disinterested in your struggles. "I just don't know if I can handle this anymore. It's like you're always bringing me down with your negativity," she said, her tone cold and distant.

Feeling the weight of her words, you tried to explain how her support was essential to you. "I don't expect you to have all the answers, but I need you to be there for me. To listen and be understanding," you implored, your heart aching for her to comprehend the gravity of your emotions.

Chaeyoung shook her head, a frustrated expression on her face. "I thought I could handle it, but it's draining. I need someone who can be strong for me, too," she replied, seemingly unwilling to grasp the significance of your mental health struggles.

Anger mingled with hurt inside you, and you couldn't hold back your tears any longer. "It's not about strength, Chaeyoung. Mental health isn't a weakness, and I'm doing my best to cope. But your lack of support is breaking me even more," you said, your voice quivering with emotion.

Her eyes softened, but the damage was already done. "I didn't mean to hurt you, but I can't pretend like this is easy for me either," she admitted, her voice tinged with guilt.

As the fight reached its climax, emotions were running high, and you could no longer bear the pain of the argument. "Chaeyoung, I can't do this anymore. You don't understand what I'm going through, and I can't keep pretending everything is okay. I need you to leave," you said, your voice firm but laden with sadness.

Chaeyoung's face displayed a mix of shock and regret, realizing the gravity of her actions. "I... I messed up, I know," she stammered, trying to reach out to you. "I'm sorry for not being there for you the way you needed me to be."

Despite her apology, you knew that it was time to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being. "I appreciate your apology, but right now, I need space to heal," you replied, your voice tinged with a mix of sorrow and determination.

Reluctantly, Chaeyoung nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. She slowly gathered her belongings and made her way to the door. "Please know that I still love you," she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.

As she left the apartment, you were left alone, feeling a mix of sadness and relief. The weight of the fight hung in the air, and you slumped against the door, emotions overwhelming you. Surprisingly, you noticed the sound of soft sobs coming from the other side of the door – Chaeyoung was on the ground, too, leaning against it.

For a moment, you both sat there on opposite sides of the door, sharing the same physical space but feeling worlds apart emotionally. It was a poignant reminder of the bond you once had and the pain of its unraveling. As tears streamed down your face, you wished things could have been different, but you knew that taking care of yourself and your mental health was the priority.

In that vulnerable moment, you found strength in the realization that you were not alone in your pain. Despite the pain of the breakup, you knew that both of you were hurting in your own ways, trying to come to terms with the end of a once beautiful relationship.

With time and space, you hoped that healing would come – not just for yourself but also for Chaeyoung. The journey ahead was uncertain, but you knew that prioritizing your mental well-being and self-care was the first step toward finding peace and a new path forward.

#kpopidol #kpop imagines #kpop gg #kpop #chaeyoung #son chaeyoung #twice #twice x reader #chaeyoung x reader #twice angst #chaeyoung angst

[happilychaengs]

i'm not okay

son chaeyoung x gender neutral reader

angst and comfort? idk

your life was a downwards spiral.

some days, you were fine. some days you were content with it all. but then there's those days that started to stretched on forever. the days where you can't help but feel like you've failed in some way. it's the days that you feel like you're in a constant whirlpool, turning and sinking deeper into the abyss. it took everything out of you to keep your head above the water, your head only getting up to take quick gasps of air. it felt suffocating. you felt like you were drowning. it was hard to wake up. it was even harder to want to move.

the days pass you by, the abundance of missed calls and texts seeming to all blur together into one. it's a silent cry for help. you think maybe people would notice your absence. the way you'd act so abnormally but no one notices. they don't even bat an eye.

but she does.

there she stood at your door when the clock struck midnight, her hooded head glancing through the windows to make sure you were even here before profusely embarrassing herself. you hear three knocks on your door before her voice cries aloud, calling for you to come out of bed and let her in; you lay motionless in your bed. the strong currents of the whirlpool seem to crash on you again, a fervent coldness wrapping around your body.

through all the static and through all the noise, you hear the subtle sound of locks clicking open. a voice rings out to you, seemingly from the far far corners of the cold waters.

"i need you to promise me you're okay." her voice is firm, although you know she only wants what's best for you. "if not, i am staying here with you until you can promise me that."

and despite everything you've done: all the people you pushed away, all the horrible things you've said, she insisted on being there for you. she stuck with you. the words linger at the tip of your tongue to calm her worries and to push her away like the rest. 'i promise i'm okay.' and yet you know you're far from it. the words seem to never make it out of your throat, you beginning to choke on your emotions.

it's the feeling of the waters calming. it's the feeling of your lungs beginning to fill with air, that small sense of clarity seeming so foreign to you.

your vision becomes blurry, tears beginning to stain your cheeks as she frowns briskly before quickly wrapping her arms around you.

she drags you out of the darkness.

----

a/n: this is a teensy tiny little bitty personal to me as this is what i felt like in the past. this honestly has been marinating in my drafts for a while because i've been unsure whether to publish this but for chae bae, i might as well. it was originally supposed to be just up to your imagination who it was but it's the loml's day so ✋🙄

#son chaeyoung x reader #chaeyoung x reader #chaeyoung imagines #twice imagines #twice x reader #twice scenarios #twice fluff #twice angst #chaeyoung fluff #chaeyoung angst

[bebeyeyo]

ditto : i want you so, want you

genre: fluff, ending angst

pairing: chaeyoung x tenth!member

ditto short series: nayeon, jeongyeon, momo, sana, jihyo, mina, dahyun, tzuyu

»»————-　♡　————-««

oh how much chaeyoung loved you so. besides mina, you were her go to.

you both acted so childish, and to others it may have been annoying, but you both didn’t care as long as you had each other.

you both were still in school at the time, only graduating soon after her and tzuyu, she helped you with your studies, helping you pass.

although you weren’t the best rapper in the world, there were often times where you had to. thankfully, chae was there to help.

you both did so much together. you drew, made ridiculous photos, you even helped chaeyoung with her tattoo ideas as you both had gotten older.

no doubt chaeyoung was so touchy sometimes, but you didn’t mind it one bit. chaeyoung, just like the rest of twice, loved to show you affection.

whenever she could, she’d come up behind you, holding you and mina by the waist, tickling your sides playfully.

chae still remembers that day you came with her one vlog to collect some strawberries and make strawberry jam.

another hobby you both did so much; picking strawberries.

it was something you both did often to try and make any strawberry creations, like following youtube tutorials on how to make homemade strawberry milk.

or making those santa strawberries that you get thrown off by so much because of the salty piece of meat that is in the sweet strawberry, but you bare it because you don’t wanna hurt chae’s feelings.

likes to laugh at you, mainly because she just finds you so funny. anything you do she’d laugh at.

has a huge thing with listening to music with you. anywhere you both are if appropriate, one AirPod would be attached to one ear, playing the song. which is why you and chae have the same taste in music a lot.

she loved how you’d come home from school, telling about what trendy things are happening, what friends you made, what classes were easy and what was hard. then she would get jealous because some classes for you are easier than what she did.

you know who’s laughing in the group from her laugh. you don’t even have to look, you hear her laugh and you know.

you were supposed to be a guest with chae on youngji’s channel, but unfortunately after your confirmed paperwork documented from the doctor, you couldn’t.

you heard how sad youngji was since she didn’t get to meet you. you wanted to meet her badly as well. which is why you were thankful when chae got the opportunity to bring youngji to visit you.

chae hasn’t been the same, just like all the girls, whenever you were speaking such sad words with a smile on your face.

she still wanted to get another tattoo, but now a different one was permanently on her skin.

your nickname on her inner wrist.

it did hurt knowing the needle was near a sensitive part of her skin, but she didn’t care. she wanted to get it for you.

now whenever she looks down at her wrist, she thinks of you even more than she already does.

just like jeongyeon, she carries your lovely with her at all times. keeping it hugged up against her chest.

she’ll turn her phone towards your lovely, as if she’s showing you something cool she found.

the nights where she makes your homemade recipe for strawberry milk, she puts all of her effort and love into it. with every crush of the strawberry she gets to.

she makes sure to make enough for the girls, placing it in a pitcher in the fridge before pouring her some as well.

used to it, she grabs a second cup, “do you want some, y/n? it’s your favorite-”

she turns around seeing she’s the only one in the kitchen.

her smile slowly fades before placing the second cup back into the cabinet.

she slowly takes a sip of the strawberry milk, smiling only a little before grabbing your lovely that was placed safely against the flower vase, her phone, and her cup before leaving the kitchen.

#darling-twice #twice chaeyoung #twice x tenth!member #chaeyoung x tenth!member #kpop angst #chaeyoung angst #ditto short series

[multiphandomunnies]

Chaeyoung

annoying voice

strawberry milk

tied by fate

tied by fate part 2

what’re you up to?

tastes like strawberries

soulmate au

kissing chaeyoung

peak of the day

#twice #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff #kpop reacts #kpop reactions #kpop angst #twice imagines #twice scenarios #twice fluff #twice angst #twice smut #chaeyoung fluff #chaeyoung angst #chaeyoung smut #chaeyoung imagines #chaeyoung scenarios #son chaeyoung

[jensettermandu]

looking for you in sunsets - rosé

genre; angst, some fluff

pairing; rosé x g!p reader

content warning; mature and sensitive topics that might not be suitable for everyone dealing with mental health issues. prioritize your health.

description; she is always there for you. you're always there for her. you two are always there for each other no matter how far away you two are and nothing would ever change that.

words; 22k+

masterlist

You sighed, toning out all the noise in the classroom with your eyes landing on the table right beside yours, the seat by the window. They always landed there, but it was empty and it made you wonder where your best friend Chaeyoung could be right now since she wasn't where she was supposed to be.

You tapped your shoes against the ground under your feet, waiting for Chaeyoung at the bus stop where you two always met since she lived just slightly outside the city. Ignoring the older woman that glanced your way, probably annoyed with how restless you were, but you didn't like waiting or standing still for too long. Humming quietly to yourself with the sun shining extra brightly today, hitting your back and warming you up. The sound of a vehicle approaching made you look up to see Chaeyoung's bus coming your way, slowing down the closer it got to the bus stop.

The green bus came to a stop at last, the doors opening and you smiled always thinking that those buses looked funny for some reason especially when your friend would jump the little gap between the ground and the bus. She did just that, her blonde hair bouncing with her before falling gently down her shoulders, shimmering in the sun together with her brown eyes that landed on you. You smiled big and watched her smile back, her eyes squinting and you always loved seeing her eye smile because it was truly one of a kind.

You basically skipped from your spot before walking to Chaeyoung who was approaching you. No matter what, it was always like a reunion with you two even if you had seen each other just a day before. "Finally." You breathed out and hugged her around her shoulders as she wrapped her arms around your waist since she was slightly shorter. "Stop acting like you waited hours...Plus, I told you exactly at what time my bus would be here." Chaeyoung said and made you squirm away from her when she poked your sides. You rolled your eyes and looked at your wristwatch. "Well, your bus was two minutes late." You pointed out, and she shoved you before grabbing your wrist, making you walk with her before letting go once you were walking beside her.

"Two minutes Y/n, nothing I can do about the bus being late." You looked at her as she spoke, Chaeyoung looking up from the ground in front of you two and looking at you, still with a smile on her face. She was always smiling and her smile was always so contagious that you could never be in a bad mood around her. You grabbed her hand and changed direction. "Let's eat, I managed to starve while waiting." This made her groan and let you drag her as she followed with heavy steps. "I am poor at the moment, Y/n." Chaeyoung complained and you waved her off, walking towards the small place where you two would eat as it was close to the bus stop. Sitting there and eating or just had something to drink usually while waiting for her bus when she had to go home or just eat like now.

"It's fine. I got my pay just a few days ago so it's on me." You explained since it never mattered. Sometimes you would pay, sometimes she would and no one counted the pennies cause they didn't matter in the end did they? They didn't, the time you two spent together was more luxurious and precious than the money you two would spend. "Do I get a milkshake?" Chaeyoung questioned and you hummed, getting closer to the small diner. "You get anything you want while I am rich." You confirmed and let go of her hand when you reached the door, opening it for her and letting her walk in first before stepping inside right after. The smell of fries and the oil they fried in immediately attacked your nose and you greeted the guy at the counter.

-

You two sat in the booth you two would always sit at, in the furthest corner at the place by the window. Always sitting in the same spot and you two had been doing it ever since you started coming to this place which was a good six years ago. That was when your parents started allowing you two to go out alone. You and Chaeyoung had known each other for 13 years now, meeting in kindergarten at five and since then you two had always stuck together, nothing separating you two- being 18 now.

"I doubt that these fries are made of potatoes." You chuckled at what she said, watching her eat the fry she inspected just a second ago. "That's what makes them good...I've heard that they used to coat Mc fries in beef fat to get that famous flavour, not sure if they still do it." She hummed and reached for a nugget in the box you two were sharing, ordering the share box for two people, just like always knowing that it was just enough to feed you both without any leftovers. "Not knowing what's in these makes them so much better...But chicken nuggets are so relatable, they are the most relatable food out there." You stopped yourself at that and looked at her with your head tilted.

"Am I going to get to listen to slam poetry about nuggets now?" You questioned with a smile, taking a nugget and eating it to stop yourself from laughing. "Do you want to? I came up with something good." Your best friend seriously said and you nodded, Chaeyoung took another nugget and held it so you could see it too. You watched as she thought it through for a bit before looking at you.

"We are all like chicken nuggets, a nugget is not real chicken, it's fake, but yet it's so delicious but also harmful and so are we. What's behind the crust is not what we want people to think, it's not chicken, but a bunch of goop containing God knows what, that's why we don't want anyone to find out what really is in that goop we are made of. Because what if people stop thinking that we are delicious if they find out that it's not chicken, that it's all fake?...That's all." You both looked at each other, trying to stay serious but laughed in the end. "But, it makes sense, doesn't it?" Chaeyoung asked through her laughter, reaching for her milkshake to try and calm down a bit, feeling her cheeks hurt from all the smiling.

You hummed, nodding your head at what she said because it did make sense although the fact that she was using a nugget for it made it ridiculous. "It actually does...You should write a poetry book, it would earn you big nuggets." You said and laughed at your own joke, stopping when you saw that Chaeyoung wasn't laughing at it. "You know because, gold nugget and you would earn big nuggets, basically a lot of money." You tried but she only glanced at you weirdly, making you flick a fry her way. "Hey!" She exclaimed and brushed the fry off her, throwing it at the napkin beside her.

"It was funny- but whatever, I will let you pretend that it wasn't...Oh! Jennie told me that you guys have a cheer contest in what was it like two months and that it will be quite big." Chaeyoung looked up from her food at that and looked confused for a second before it hit her. Almost forgetting about the contest she and the rest of the cheer team were competing in. "Yeah, it will be quite big since it's the annual cheer contest in the region Y/n." She let out with slight sarcasm since they had it every year and you made it sound like this would be the first time. You grumbled at that, it wasn't your fault that you didn't keep track of every contest and event that was going to happen. "Whatever, I saw the confusion, you forgot yourself. But I will be there and cheer for both you and Jennie, well, basically the whole team since it's a team sport. You guys won last year and are bound to win this year too." You excitedly said as you had always been cheering for them ever since Chaeyoung joined the team.

"Who's name are you going to write on your sign?" Chaeyoung asked with a teasing tone, but you rolled your eyes. "Yours and Jennie's, like I have been doing for the past three years." You stated the obvious since she always asked the same thing whenever there was some type of cheer contest. You always had hers and your girlfriend's name on that banner that was almost always your size, wanting everyone to know who the two best women in your life were. You loved both just as much, but it was just a different kind of affection. You were sure that you could have more than one soulmate and that not all soulmates were meant to be lovers although one was your lover and the other was your best friend.

"Are you going to need two people to hold it this time too? I feel like last year was a bit overboard, you got told to put it down since you were blocking the view together with Jisoo for everyone." Chaeyoung said and chuckled as you looked down, the moment was still slightly embarrassing although Chaeyoung and Jennie found it very sweet. You decided to try your luck and together with Jisoo made a giant sign with both Jennie's and Chaeyoungs names that needed you both to hold it up only to get told to put it down since the people behind you couldn't see a thing. "It's the thought that counts, but I think we might go smaller this year." You said, giving her a smile as you looked up. "Although, we are still going to cheer just as loud." You reassured her since you would still be screaming for the two even if the sign was smaller.

"Of course, you will." She said and sighed, grabbing more fries and you shrugged. There was no way that you wouldn't. "You guys cheer when we have games." You reminded her, the basketball team wasn't only known for how good you guys played but also for how supportive everyone was together with the cheer team that always made the whole crowd erupt into even louder cheers. "That's what the cheer team is for, isn't it?" You gave her a sceptic look. "Maybe, but you guys do it the best when we play, unlike the rest of the school teams...I think that's cause I am on the basketball team." You said, getting slightly cocky with it, but it was the truth. You had both your girlfriend and best friend cheering for you so obviously, the basketball team would have them cheer the best although they were always great.

"I think you as a captain tell them to perform better just for me." You continued and groaned once Chaeyoung kicked your shin. Sending her a glare as you reached under the table and rubbed your shin to ease the pain. "Keep on telling yourself that. As a captain, I tell them to give their best every time, Y/n." She corrected, and you waved her off although Chaeyoung was really a great cheer captain. "You're just too shy to admit that I am right." This time she threw a fry at you and you laughed. "Ok fine, maybe I make them perform the slightest bit better." She admitted not being able to lie to you.

-

You walked through the mall with Chaeyoung by your side, just wandering around the city like usual when you two were together. The nuggets were at the pit of your stomachs as you both were full. "Look, there's literally no line to the photo booth. Let's go." Chaeyoung exclaimed when her eyes landed on the photo booth you two skipped on last time since there was a line to it- last time the mall was pretty busy with people. "Last one there-." You didn't even get to finish what you were going to say when she raced right by you, already running to the booth. Without a second thought, you quickly took off after her, putting your long legs to good use and catching up to her. You were right on her heels, but it was too late as she landed inside the booth first.

"Oh fuck." You both groaned at the same time when you flew in right after her, forgetting to stop, colliding with Chaeyoung who collided with the wall, the whole booth rumbling with the both of you inside it. "I think I broke my knee." The girl whined and slumped down on the small stool inside the booth, holding onto her knee. "Can you even break a knee?" You questioned and chuckled at the whole situation as you stood leaning against the wall, catching your breath with your hands on your knees. "I'm not sure, but I fucked up something in my knee because of you." You lifted your head, looking up at Chaeyoung who was levelled with you, meeting each other's eyes.

"You sure? Let me see." You said and removed her hands from it, flicking her knee, making Chaeyoung smack your hands away. You laughed and she pushed you away from her. "It will be fine or do you want me to kiss it and blow on it?" Chaeyoung tsk'd and flipped you off. "You can kiss the tip of my finger." She snapped and you leaned forward with your lips puckered to kiss her finger, only to get your face pushed away with Chaeyoung giggling. "Stop being annoying and let's take those photos." You grinned at what she said and turned away from her to insert your card, wanting to take those photos with Chaeyoung to add to your and her collection with all the polaroid and other photos you had together.

You finished and shuffled over to Chaeyoung, standing behind her as she pressed the button. Posing with your arm around her shoulder, big smiles on your faces as the first photo got taken, changing pose for the next. You threw a peace sign, Chaeyoung winking with a pout with your cheeks squished together. It was as if you two were using telekinesis by knowing exactly what to do next, the both of you making faces for the third photo with giggles. "Goddammit Park Chaeyoung!" You exclaimed in pain when she bit your finger right when the last picture snapped. "That's for the knee." She huffed as you retreated your arm from around her, looking at the bite mark left on your index finger. "You rat." You said after seeing the teeth mark on your finger, the girl not caring as she got up from the stool and left the booth to take the pictures.

You flailed your hand as you followed her out of the booth, seeing her already holding the photo strip that had the four pictures on it. Looking as her smile grew as she looked over it carefully. You walked over to her and stood behind her, looking over her shoulder to see the photos too. "You're such a rat, just look at you." You laughed and pointed at the photo where she bit your finger, your face holding pure pain and her only holding pure satisfaction by getting back at you. "Want me to bite you again?" She threatened and your hands quickly went behind your back to avoid getting bitten again. Pursing your lips as she turned around to face you, shoving the photo strip into your chest. "You keep this one." She said with a smile and you took it.

"No, you can have this one...I think I took the last one we took together." You said about to hand it back to her, but she stopped you. "No, keep this one so you can remember not to mess with me." You chuckled at that and nodded, taking out your wallet and placing it inside it. "Just don't ruin it." She was quick to say when she saw you placing it inside the wallet. Chaeyoung frowned and took the wallet and strip from you, deciding that it would be better if she did it knowing how careless you could be, you did just run into her. "See, you need to be more careful...Some things are fragile, Y/n." Chaeyoung scolded and you just watched her before getting your wallet handed back to you. "I will keep that in mind." You said and put the wallet back into your pocket.

-

You grabbed Chaeyoung's favourite crisps from the shelf as you two were at the grocery store to get some snacks to then find some spot to chill at. Walking over to the fridge with sodas after. "Do you want ice tea as usual?" You questioned as you opened the fridge, Chaeyoung behind you hummed and helped you by holding the fridge. "Do you remember the ice tea toddy?" She asked and you chuckled at that, taking two iced teas, and handing one to Chaeyoung. "How could I forget...Jisoo still won't touch iced tea." You said and she laughed, nodding, it was an inside joke between your guy's friend group that had been going on for a year now. "It does work as a great mixer, but it's too good." You said and the blonde agreed.

Both of you remembered how Jisoo found out how good of a mixer ice tea was for vodka, to the point where she lost track of how much she had to drink and everything just reversed and she threw it all up. The girl still couldn't touch iced tea- the event had traumatized her so much. Just the smell made her gag. "Do you remember the little raft?" You asked, suddenly a lot of memories just came back and the girl bumped into you as she walked beside you, making you wrap your arm around her shoulders. "How could I forget? Jennie gave you the biggest scolding of the century." She teased and squirmed slightly when you pinched her cheek with the hand that was around her shoulders.

"I shouldn't have gotten scolded, it was Jungkook's fault I fell in the water in the first place." You said, you still were set on it being the boy's fault. You guys had found a random raft by the lake and you and Jungkook got on it, pushing it away from shore only realizing you guys had no paddles when it was a bit too late. It ended with Jungkook trying to jump back to shore since you guys weren't too far away, he managed to make the jump although he sent the whole raft flying together with you and you ended up falling into the water. "You two were stupid enough to get on that raft and push it away without any paddles." Chaeyoung said, knowing that it was stupid of both of you, but it was funny in the end and she still remembers all these things so vividly. Every single memory made with you and your guy's friends was always so vivid and she would never forget them and the same went for you.

"How about the time we had orienteering and you tricked our group out of the forest and to a diner instead." You said and a bashful smile spread across her face and she shrugged your arm off from around her. "I was hungry and did not feel like walking around a forest looking for checkpoints...In the end, everyone was happy." She explained herself like she has been doing for a good three years now. You guys were in a group of five and had orienteering for P.E. class and had two hours to try and get all the checkpoints. Chaeyoung announced that she was super good at it and would lead the way- only to lead you all to a diner. It ended with you guys getting five out of 15 checkpoints that were spread across the forest that wasn't too far from the city. Getting them on the way back from the diner after you all ate. "Everyone except the teacher." You pointed out as the teacher wasn't happy with a group of five people only getting five checkpoints in the span of two hours.

"When are they happy with anything?" She threw the question out there and took a turn with you as you needed to pick up one last thing before heading to check out. "It's a miserable job isn't it?" You said as you yourself would never want to work with teens if they were all like you and your friends. "Pretty much..." Chaeyoung trailed off as she watched you stop and look at the store shelf, realizing what aisle you had dragged her in. "How can you buy condoms right in front of me Y/n? I'm from a Christian household...no sex before marriage." Chaeyoung let out in pure disbelief, giving you a terrified look and you shoved her away slightly. "Shut up, Chaeyoung." You said and reached for the ultra thins since Jennie preferred it when you guys wouldn't use condoms, but considering that she wasn't on birth control that didn't happen often and this was the best option.

"What?" She asked confused, playing dumb and innocent which you knew she was not. "Are we just supposed to forget about Lisa the foreign exchange student from last year?" You quipped, knowing very well what went down since she had told you. You two told each other everything. There wasn't a single thing you two did not know about each other. "I don't know what you are talking about." She continued to play dumb and you gave her a look, seeing the small tint on her cheeks. Lisa was an exchange student at your school and you guys got along well, but she and Chaeyoung got along extra good and it was sort of a fling thing that ended once she left with no hard feelings.

"Or maybe your first boyfriend?" You added, being well aware of how much she hated when you mentioned that- it wasn't because it was a bad breakup or anything, it was because the girl was as straight as a circle and looked so stupid trying to date that guy when she was 15. It ended pretty quickly, but still, a few things went down and she wasn't the proudest of them. "Ew, don't mention him." Chaeyoung said and cringed, the two of you walking out the aisle, making it to the checkout now while grabbing a few sweets on the way. "Either way, you are no virgin Mary, Park Chaeyoung." You clearly stated and she quickly looked around you both before sending you a glare. "Jeez, Y/n louder. What if my sister would just pop out of nowhere and would hear you." She complained and you rolled your eyes at what she said.

"Oh, so you think your sister is stupid and doesn't know?" You asked, not believing that her sister didn't know that your best friend, Park Chaeyoung was no saint. "Yes, yes I do." She stated a quick and short answer, giving you a nod of affirmation as she was sure that her sister was very much clueless about it all. You stifled a laugh at that and looked as she ran her hand through her perfectly silky hair. Her hair fell down her shoulders and rested on her black hoodie that was contrasting her blonde hair. "Then you are the stupid one." You concluded as you two stopped in line to checkout. She scoffed at that.

"Just buy the fucking condoms so you don't get Jennie pregnant by accident." Chaeyoung let out frustrated now because you might've been right, her sister Alice was smart in the end while Chaeyoung was smart but was also a terrible liar. You laughed at that and patted her back to get her to calm down. "So, you don't want a niece or nephew to spoil?" Chaeyoung looked up at that, raising her eyebrows at what you said. "Does it look like I have the money to spoil a child, Y/n? I don't even have the money to spoil myself, let alone a child." She dramatically let out. "Ahh, you're being dramatic." You breathed out.

"I am not." She firmly stated, trying to keep up the act, both of you knew that it was all just jokes. Liking to act a bit dramatic whenever it was possible. "You are." You insisted and Chaeyoung scoffed, shaking her head. "Let's see who will be dramatic once Jennie gets pregnant." You chuckled at that and bit your lower lip. Somehow she always made you laugh with the simplest things, it was as if nothing else existed when you two were together. It was like floating in the air with no burden on your shoulders and you hoped that she felt the same way when she was with you. "She's not getting pregnant, not yet at least and when she does, you are going to be the godmother of our child." You stated as no matter what, Chaeyoung was always going to be part of your life and if she would refuse you would simply force her. Although there was no way she would ever refuse.

"You think I would be a good Godmother?" She questioned unsurely and you looked at her, cocking your head and quirking your eyebrows. "You'd be a great godmother and I wouldn't even consider anyone else." You stated with a firm nod and watched the smile on her face as she sighed, shaking her head slightly. You always made her feel so good about herself. The both of you placed the things on the band and suddenly Chaeyoung spoke up with confusion. "What do you mean not yet?" She asked and stopped in her tracks, only now realizing what you said. Looking at you, she instantly recognized that smile on your face that only meant one thing, it was something important and precious to you. That was the smile you had on your face whenever you were around her or Jennie- other friends too but it stood out around the two or when you talked about them.

"Can you keep a secret?" You already knew the answer as she kept every secret you told her between you two. Chaeyoung was the person you trusted the most, more than your own family, but on the second hand, she was basically your family. You two were like siblings, knowing each other for more than half of your lives. It felt good to be around someone who you knew, knew you better than you knew yourself, knowing that you could always listen to her and trust her and her advice. "Of course, I can. I know your deepest darkest secrets and never said anything to anyone." She said with a proud grin, it always made her feel more important when she knew that you trusted her so much. You took a step closer to her and lowered your tone slightly even if it wasn't needed since you didn't know anyone here, but it made the moment that much more climatic.

"I want to propose after graduation." You whispered in her ear and it went quiet for a second, nervously watching her as her lips parted and her eyes widened slightly. "What!?" She squeaked out in pure surprise, seeming like she was in bliss. "Yes, I want to propose after graduation and then we could live together while in college and all that stuff." You explained and smiled when Chaeyoung jumped in for a hug, her arms wrapping around your arms, giving you a bone-crushing hug that you tried to return the best you could with your arms restrained. "Oh my god, you should totally do it." She squealed out and looked up at you with her eyes glimmering slightly. Relief washed over you fully as she was the first person you told this to, like always being the one you told things first too. You knew that you and Jennie were only 18, but you two were already planning a future together- of course you included Chaeyoung in everything which Jennie was ok with seeing how there would never be a possibility to separate you and your best friend. She admired it.

"I am surprised that you are agreeing." You breathed out and she pulled away with her head tilting as you reached up to her face and patted away the few tears that rolled down. She was always your emotional little Chaeyoungie. "Why?" She asked and grabbed your hand that was on her cheek, holding it and you shrugged. "This is the first girlfriend of mine that you actually like...And you know how much I value your opinion." You said as you had a few girlfriends before and Chaeyoung was not fond of any of them although she seemed to love Jennie. "Jennie is great, both to you and to me...she doesn't have a problem with me being your best friend unlike the rest and she's just a keeper." She casually replied and you smiled, walking up to the clerk that was scanning your items. It was the truth, none of your exes was good enough for you in Chaeyoung's opinion and none of them really liked how close you two were either. Even if it was always platonic love since your friendship wasn't just a simple friendship, it was much more than that.

"She really is." You agreed and your smile made Chaeyoung smile this time, seeing how in love you were with that girl. Just like Jennie admired your and Chaeyoung's friendship, Chaeyoung admired your and Jennie's relationship. She knew that she was the right one in more than one way. "Mhm, although never forget about me." She hummed out and walked away when you had to pay, not being able to say much more. You quickly paid and thanked the clerk before, walking up to Chaeyoung since you knew that you could never forget about her. "I could never forget about you. You are moving in with me and Jennie when we take off to college." You watched as she just shook her head at what you said, helping you put everything in the plastic bag. "I don't know about that. Think I will rather be alone than share an apartment with you and Jennie." She only replied.

-

Somehow your and Chaeyoung's feet had their own will and walked you over all the way to the beach where you two would always sit together and just talk, sitting on the big rock where you had carved your names next to each other a few years ago. The cool breeze softly blew the salty air your and her way, the sun slowly setting but still keeping the breeze cool just cool and not freezing. You leaned back, holding yourself up with your palms as you looked over the ocean that seemed to not have an end, listening to the seagulls in the distance and the waves crashing with the rocks beneath you two.

"Could you promise me something?" Chaeyoung broke the temporary silence and you turned your head to look at her. Her gaze held some sort of longing as she looked over the horizon in front of you guys. The wind blew through her perfect hair, her eyes squinting just the slightest as the wind hit them. Her brown eyes glimmered from the orange sunset that hit them just like the water was glimmering below you two. You hummed and watched as her jaw clenched for a split second before she loosened up again and looked down at her feet with a sigh. It always ended the same with you two sitting and making promises to each other, some people would probably find a few of them meaningless but to you two they were worth more than gold.

"Promise me that you will propose to Jennie after graduation and keep her for the rest of your life...I know that you said that you will, but I really don't want you to change your mind, I want you to proceed with the future with Jennie there. We're only 18 and things can just change in the span of one night or even a second, but I don't want that to change...It would mean a lot to me if you would be able to promise me that even if it is quite big of a promise to keep." You almost managed to miss half of her soft-spoken words that disappeared with the waves as they left her lips, but you still heard every word of her. "And while you're at it, I want you to promise me that you will never forget me Y/n." Chaeyoung added and you watched as she moved her feet around a little, waiting for you to say something.

You tilted your head and smiled a little, extending your hand to her, making Chaeyoung look at you in the end. Holding out your pinky for her, a pinky promise made between you two was never allowed to be broken and this was a promise you would never break once the deal would be sealed. A smile grew on her face and she hooked her pinky with yours as you two just looked at each other in silence. "I promise you that I will propose to Jennie and keep her for the rest of my life and I will never ever forget about you Chaeyoung...I don't know how you could even think of that, but I will never forget about you because just like I am going to keep Jennie with me for the rest of my life, I am going to keep you too." You promised before you two touched thumbs, sealing the promise forever.

"Thank you." Chaeyoung breathed out in relief and unhooked her pinky with yours before wrapping her arms around your shoulders, hugging you tight with her face buried in your neck. You wrapped your arms around her waist, getting embraced in each other's warmth and no other hugs compared to the ones you shared. "I just want you to be happy." She mumbled and pulled you closer to her, resting your chin on her shoulder, feeling her hands clutch on your hoodie as if you would disappear any second now. "I want the same for you." You replied as you only wanted to see her happy and content, both of you wanted the best for each other. She only hummed, sighing into your neck as you both stayed in each other's arms.

"I really love you, Y/n." You smiled at her words and sighed when you heard her sniffle before feeling a few tears hit your skin. "I love you just as much...don't cry because I will start crying too." You said, feeling your voice quivering as you spoke because her tears were just as contagious as her smile was. It always ended with both of you crying if the other one would cry. "It's just that...you're the best thing that has ever happened in my life Y/n and I wouldn't change it or have it any other way. There's not much to my life without you, it's not as interesting when it's just me." This time you could feel the prickling in your nose, the tears brimming your eyes as a sob left her lips, her hot breaths fanning your skin.

"I wouldn't have it any other way either, but your life is much more than just me and you know it...There's just one of you, you're Park Chaeyoung and that's what defines you, not me." You said since you two maybe fulfilled each other's days, but if she wouldn't be Park Chaeyoung then it wouldn't be the same. The way she was defined her and not you. "I am me and you're you...that's what makes it special." You whispered and blinked away your tears. "You're special to me." She mumbled and you slowly pulled away, quickly wiping your eyes before looking at her, holding onto her shoulders. You wiped her cheeks with your sleeves before the wind could do it for you. Leaning over and leaving a peck on her forehead. "You're special to me too, Chaeyoung." You said back and removed the hair that the wind blew in her face, looking into her brown shimmering eyes and she smiled through her tears, giving you the eye smile that you loved so much.

-

You held Chaeyoung's hand, holding it inside your pocket to try and warm her as much as possible as it was starting to get cold now, waiting for her bus. "You sure that you don't want me to take the bus with you?" You asked to make sure since you offered to take the bus to walk her home, but she shook her head no. "Yeah, I like taking it alone...it gives me time to just think." She said and looked at you with a smile, you nodded knowing that she enjoyed riding the bus alone to just get lost in her thoughts. "Say hi to Jennie from me." Chaeyoung reminded you. "I will. You've been hanging out with everyone lately, haven't you?" You put it out there since she was with Jennie yesterday and the other days she hung out with Jisoo and another with Jungkook and so on aside from hanging out with you almost every day, but you two often were together.

"I've just missed everyone lately although today was memorable with you as usual." You gave her hand a squeeze, everything with her was memorable and fun. That was the thing with Chaeyoung, she wasn't just a great best friend to you, but she was truly a great friend to everyone. "It always is." Chaeyoung slithered her hand out of your grip and hugged around your waist again, making you hug around her shoulders, resting your cheek at the top of her head. Taking in her smell, those smells from one's childhood that always brought back nostalgia. Chaeyoung's smell was just that, she brought you so much nostalgia, comfort and memories, she made you feel safe with just her smell because it was so familiar, it made your inner child feel safe because that's what you had always been ever since you two met. Safe, comfortable, and content and it was just perfect.

"You're the bestest friend anyone could ask for Y/n." You chuckled at her words. "Just like you, you're the bestest of the best." Chaeyoung giggled at your words and you kissed the top of her head, taking in her smell before you two pulled away when you heard the bus approach. "Text me when you get home, alright?" You said as you held her shoulders, the girl nodded with her smile still there and you gave her a big smile too. "I will...I love you Y/n." You chuckled when she gave you a peck on your cheek and walked her to the front door of the green bus as it opened. "Be safe...I love you." You said and let go of her hand as she stepped onto the bus without another word, waving at you as the doors closed. Standing and watching her take a seat, waving at each other before the bus took off, not leaving your spot until the bus disappeared out of your sight.

-

"Could you hand me my wallet? It's in my pants." You asked Jennie as you laid in her bed in your boxers. She hummed as she finished up by her vanity table, turning off the lights on the mirror before she got up from the chair. Laying sprawled out on her bed under the covers as you watched her walk over to the armchair where your pants were laying with the rest of your clothes. Your girlfriend was already in her pj's as it was around 1 am and you got here at around 10 pm. Jennie reached into your pocket and took out your wallet before she scurried over to the bed, making you chuckle, lifting the covers for her seeing that she was in such a hurry since she was cold. The girl quickly cuddled into you, putting her head on your shoulder as you wrapped your arm around her waist.

"Here you go, baby." Her hand came up from under the duvet, holding the wallet out for you. You pecked her lips as a thank you and Jennie watched you open your wallet, making her move slightly so you could use the hand around her waist a bit better. You took out the photo strip since you didn't want it to get ruined in your wallet and Jennie guided your hand so she could look better at the photos. "Told you that she bit me." You said since she didn't believe you earlier, watching Jennie smile, yet another one of your favourite smiles. "You probably deserved it though, I know how you can be so I don't blame her." She simply stated, knowing you very well too. "Aren't you quick to pick sides?" You only received an eye-roll from Jennie at that as she was still looking at the photos.

"These are cute though, just don't ruin them by accident." Jennie said and looked over the photos one last time before letting go of your hand. You hummed and put your wallet on the bedside table by your phone before placing the photo strip by your things too. "That's exactly what she said too." You said, remembering how Chaeyoung told you how some things are fragile, seemingly she wasn't the only one that knew how careless you could be but Jennie knew that too. "Well, some things are fragile." It almost felt as if it was Chaeyoung speaking as she just said the same thing as her. You sighed and turned your body to lay on your side, meeting Jennie's eyes.

Chuckling as Jennie's hands tried to squeeze themselves under you for more warmth as her body was still a bit cold. "Is it that cold?" You questioned and Jennie pouted before nodding her head. You pecked her lips, trying to pull away but she chased right after you, making you lean back in, giving her a lingering kiss instead. You pulled away and Jennie groaned when you moved to lay on top of her. "Is this warm enough, baby?" You asked, trying your best to just warm up your girlfriend since she seemed to be freezing cold by shoving her hands under your body to warm them up. "You're crushing me." Jennie whined out, but it quickly turned into giggles as she squirmed under you trying to get you off her.

You wrapped your arms around her waist and with a huff turned over, taking Jennie with you who squeaked in surprise. "Y/n, my parents are asleep." Jennie warned not wanting to wake her parents up, acting like you were the one to let out that squeak. "I am positive that the squeak did not leave my mouth but yours princess." You said as her voice was lighter than yours and this time you tried to squirm away from Jennie when she poked your sides, making you squeak this time. You laughed as she continued to tickle your sides, her shorter frame basically glued on top of you as you couldn't seem to push her off you. "I am going to scream if you don't stop." You laughed out not knowing what else to say as she wouldn't stop tickling you, slowly getting out of breath.

You got stopped from making any type of sound when Jennie quickly kissed you when you were about to scream. Kissing back as she slowly moved her lips against yours, your breathing still heavy after her hands attacked you, making you pull away sooner than you wanted. "I love you." Jennie said right after you two pulled away, your arms wrapped around her waist, hugging her closer before lifting your head to peck her lips. Jennie sighed and placed her head right below your chin, leaving a lingering kiss on top of her head and closing your eyes. "I love you." You mumbled against the top of her head, unwrapping your one arm to pull the duvet over you two before sneaking both of your warm hands under her shirt, caressing her skin. Jennie hummed and you felt her lips leave a small kiss on your collarbone. The comfortable silence between you two engulfed you both, leaving you with a soft and warm feeling with each other.

Jennie flinched slightly on top of you, getting startled by your phone that went off, buzzing on her bedside table. You looked towards your phone, Jennie pushing herself up slightly and reaching for it, a small frown appeared and she looked confused. "It's Alice...you should probably answer, it might be important." Jennie said and handed the phone to you, both of you confused about why Chaeyoung's sister would be calling you at around 1:30 am. Taking the phone, you answered and Jennie watched you do so.

You didn't even manage to ask her anything before feeling regret at picking up this phone call because this phone call was going to be the cause of many sleepless nights. You unwrapped your arm from around Jennie, sitting up on the bed and your girlfriend felt nothing but worry as she sat beside you, watching all the different emotions go through your eyes before they held nothing else but tears. You could feel your whole body and brain just shut down at what you got to hear, clenching the phone in your hold so you wouldn't drop it as you felt the energy get drained from you. A sob left your mouth as Alice finished explaining what happened to you and you only hung up on the crying girl.

"Y/n...what happened-." You cut Jennie off as you broke down in tears, getting pulled into your girlfriend's arms. "Chaeyoung- she- she's...Jennie, she's-." You couldn't form a sentence as you choked on your sobs, gripping onto Jennie's shirt. Jennie had seen you break down and cry before, but this time it was different, your cries held pure pain, and suffering and she felt her own eyes tear up, trying to hold you as close as possible as you cried on her chest. You felt your heart clench so hard that it broke to pieces and the air just got heavy around you and you knew that it would never be light again. "She's gone...Chaeyoung- she's- she...killed herself." You forced the words out of yourself as you didn't dare to accept them let alone to have to say them out loud was torturous.

Suddenly your whole life turned around in the span of a second.

Or maybe this wasn't where she was supposed to be at all and she actually was where she was supposed to be. Maybe Chaeyoung was right where she was supposed to be. That was the thing with Chaeyoung no one ever knew what she was up to or where she could be unless that someone was you but now even you couldn't tell where exactly she was except that she was gone and no longer here. Your best friend was no longer by your side and hadn't been for the past two months.

You had spent the past two months wondering if you missed any signs, but it only turned out that Chaeyoung didn't tell you everything. She told you what you wanted to hear, what she wanted you to hear and believe. She never wanted you to know what was going on in her life because she preferred to see you smile, to see you being happy around her and not worried. That's what you tried to assume.

You continued to fiddle with the sleeve of your hoodie and blinked your eyes to stop your tears from falling in the middle of class, you couldn't tear your gaze away from her seat that was right next to your table. Even if it was the case that this wasn't where she was supposed to be, in your head, this was right where she was supposed to be. Chaeyoung was supposed to be sitting right there, she was supposed to be talking to you in a hushed tone while the teacher is busy explaining in front of the class. She was supposed to still be here, be with you, hang out with you, you two were still supposed to share secrets with each other and make promises.

That day was the last time you hugged Chaeyoung, the last time you heard her voice in person, the last time you felt her body while it was still warm, the last time you both said 'I love you' to each other. That day you heard her laugh for the last time, say your name for the last time, you two made your last promises that day, the last time you saw her smile at you. That day was the last time you created memories together with Chaeyoung. Now she was gone.

You got stopped from pulling on your sleeve when Jennie grabbed your hand in hers sensing that nothing was ok right now. Nothing had been ok ever since that phone call, but you managed to somewhat keep yourself together to attend school again, but there were still those moments where you would falter and break down against your will. Jennie excused the both of you and got you to stand up and follow her out of the classroom.

Walking out of the room, she closed the door after you two and you already had tears in your eyes. How were you supposed to cope with the death of your best friend? Of someone who you were closer to than your own family, someone you knew most of your life. Your time together with Chaeyoung was cut short, against your will but by choice for her.

Chaeyoung left you.

"We should definitely go out for ice cream after practice...it's so hot today." Chaeyoung let out, a big smile as you two walked through the hallway. The girl was in her cheer uniform as she had her practice to attend, but tried to hide from her duties for a bit since it was too hot outside to continue jumping around in her opinion. "Oh Chaeyoung, practice first, ice cream later." You said as you bumped into her when you were passing through the empty hallways on your way to watch their practice since yours was done. Knowing that Chaeyoung was at the wrong place as the cheer captain- standing by the vending machines in the canteen and not on the field with her team.

"It's ok, I told Jennie to take over while I handle some business." She explained and skipped in her steps, it was much cooler inside than it was outside especially now that school was over and the hallways weren't packed with students. You laughed at what she said and she looked at you, she was about to stop in her place probably wanting to drag this out to not have to go out on the field again, but you were quick to put your hand on her back so she would continue walking. "What business do you have by the vending machines, Chaeyoung?" You questioned and she sighed. "Those are questions that I do not have to answer." You hummed, nodding your head already knowing that she was there to get snacks while her team was out there in the heat.

"Last one at the field pays for ice cream!" Chaeyoung exclaimed while already running ahead of you. "Hey!" You exclaimed and took off right after her, trying your best to catch up with her as she got a head start. Your laughs echoed around the hallways of the empty school.

You took her for ice cream that day and you paid too since she was the first to reach the field.

You sniffled as you looked at the hallway that was just as empty although this time none of your waves of laughter echoed around it. "Baby...talk to me." Jennie let out, worried sick about you. She didn't leave your side for a second ever since that night, staying right by your side to comfort you and just be there for you, she could only imagine how difficult it was for you and yes she herself had been grieving but the bond between you and Chaeyoung was just different- it was a loss for everyone who knew the girl though. One of the reasons why she really didn't want to leave your side was because she was scared that she would lose you too. Either lose you in all your sorrow or the same way they all lost Chaeyoung.

"How is everyone just moving on?" You croaked out, the tears in your throat suppressing your voice as the lump was there. There was no point in trying to hold back much more as a sob left your mouth. The shorter girl pulled you aside and away from the door, stopping by the lockers, holding onto your hand as her other reached up to your face, wiping away your tears. "Everyone is acting as if nothing happened." You cried and slumped your back against the lockers behind you, looking at your hands that continued to fiddle with the material of your hoodie.

It felt like you were the only one left that was still crying every night about Chaeyoung or waking up in the middle of it because you had such vivid dreams about Chaeyoung still being alive that you woke up happy only to break down within a second. Everywhere you looked, everyone had moved on with their lives while you were stuck in the past, still refusing to accept the fact that she was gone. "Everyone is just coping differently." Jennie tried, she maybe wasn't going through it as bad anymore but that was because acceptance came easier for her than you in this situation and she didn't blame you. No one would truly ever just move on from this.

"And for some, that means acting as if nothing happened and I know that it hurts to see people act like that, but it's different for everyone, Y/n." There was nothing you could do about this. First of all, you couldn't bring your best friend back- she wouldn't want to come back because she left by choice. Second of all, not everyone grieved the same way, but you hated to see how everyone just went on with their lives, went on with them without Chaeyoung there. How do you go on with your life when the person you planned your life with wasn't there anymore? You hated it.

Your eyes met Jennie's at last and you hated yourself for worrying her so much, you could see how worried she was every day and how she refused to leave you for even a second. Following you like a puppy because she loved you so much while you were too busy drowning in the sorrow Chaeyoung left you to even try and show how much you loved her too. "I'm sorry." You apologized and grabbed her hand that was on your cheek, taking it and leaving a kiss on her fingers. "You don't have to be sorry for anything Y/n. I am here to be through it all with you and it doesn't matter how long it takes...Just don't close yourself off from me." You only broke down more, Jennie pulling you down and hugging around your shoulders as you buried your face in her shoulder.

"I lost my best friend Jennie." Your voice cracked with each word as you were still trying to figure out why she left you. Why were you, the one to lose your best friend? No one should lose one, whether it is by death or another type of separation that isn't death. It felt like you lost a part of yourself together with her. "I know, I know." Jennie whispered in your ear, giving the side of your head a peck as she gently scratched your scalp in a try to comfort you so you would know that she was right there for you. She was there to hold the part of you, you thought you lost for when you would want it back.

You looked up at the sound of things rustling, Jennie holding onto your shoulders, her head turning to look where you were looking when she saw a frown covering your eyebrows. You were no longer in her arms as you walked towards the janitor, wiping away your tears while sniffling. "What're you doing?" You asked him pissed as he was by Chaeyoung's locker, your fists clenching in nothing but anger as he threw another teddy bear into the cleaning trolly. "Cleaning...it's the principal's request." The older man said, about to reach down for another one of the things by her locker that students at school had put there to honour her memory. Everything from notes, plushies, flowers and much more.

You were quick to grab him by the back of his shirt, preventing him from doing so, not caring about the consequences. "I don't give a fuck about what he wants...leave her locker alone." You gritted out, doing your best to not let your voice break like the rest of your body was, every piece of you cracking like thin ice. Pushing him away, making the man stumble back a step or two. "Y/n, calm down." Jennie quickly interfered not wanting you to get expelled on top of everything. You huffed as she gave you a look and you turned around, looking at Chaeyoung's locker that hadn't been used by her for two months now while Jennie tried her best to excuse your behaviour, succeeding as the janitor walked away with the trolly.

She turned around to you with worry when she heard one of the lockers rumble, punching the locker that was next to Chaeyoung's. You ignored the pain that spread through your whole hand, landing another one before landing more punches to it. You were so angry with the world. Who else could've done her wrong if not for the world and the people in it? Did you possibly wrong her too? You couldn't recollect, but maybe you did her wrong somehow. The anger and hatred you felt numbed the pain in your knuckles and maybe if you hurt yourself physically then just maybe, the emotional pain would disappear...even if it would be for just a second. You would be numb for just a second and that would be enough of an escape from all the emotional pain in you.

Jennie almost flew together with your fist into the locker when she grabbed onto your arm to stop you- succeeding without getting hurt in the process. "Stop hurting yourself." She basically cried out as this time her tears fell too, not being able to hold it together. It was hard for her to keep it together when you would cry and break down, but seeing you hurt yourself because of it was just the last straw for her to break down too. "Stop." She mumbled, her grip on your arm tightening. You swallowed, your throat hurting as you just wanted to scream from the pain that was growing inside you. All those screams came from the top of your lungs only to not pass your throat and instead just gather there and create a lump that was hurting. "They can't just get rid of her things...this was Chaeyoung's." You pushed the words through the screams that clogged up your throat because words were the only things that could leave your mouth.

Jennie ran her hands down your arm to your hand, unclenching your fist, your hand trembling from the blunt force trauma caused by the impact at which you threw those punches against the locker. Your knuckles were red already with the few places where your skin split open the slightest, blood oozing from those spots- it wasn't deep and it wasn't bleeding a lot, but it was enough to make Jennie more worried. "You have to let her go at some point." Jennie stated, knowing that it would only get worse if you wouldn't try and accept things as they were even if it was difficult. She didn't want to see you lose yourself this way, she didn't want to lose you.

Her grip on your hand stayed when you tried to pull away, so, you instead turned around and leaned against the locker, sliding down to the floor with Jennie crouching down in front of you. Her gaze stayed on your trembling fingers and she knew it was hurting- both the injury you caused yourself and everything else. "I don't." It came out as a whisper, the salty tears running down your cheeks. They were salty enough to hurt if they came in contact with a cut. They were so harsh that they hurt your eyes. "You have to, she won't be able to rest otherwise, not if you keep on acting like this." She tried to make you understand, wiping her tears with her free hand before her thumb ghosted over your bruised knuckle. Acting so negatively wasn't letting your best friend rest, holding her back because you were worrying her and you knew that in the back of your head, but you ignored that part of your head.

"Why would she get to rest? I haven't been able to rest for months because of her choice and I am just supposed to let her rest? She doesn't let me rest either." You argued, hoping that Chaeyoung was listening to you right now so she could hear how tired you were too now. It was all exhausting and every night you spent awake you spent it crying or wondering why she left you. She didn't even say anything, leave anything...no, she definitely left you a lot of things, one of them being the confusion about why she even left. She seemed so happy. Or you just didn't know your best friend, as well as you thought that you did. Would she still be here if you did anything differently? What if she would have stayed if you just simply had walked her home that day? Would something like that be enough to make her stay?

"Y/n...she left us because she was tired and now you're preventing her from getting that rest." You took in a shaky breath and closed your eyes, the only thing you could see every time you closed them was Chaeyoung and you hated it because she would always be smiling at you. Every time the sun was shining and warming you, you could feel Chaeyoung's embrace. You could still remember perfectly how it felt to hug her and to be hugged by her, crumbling apart every time as you were scared that you would one day forget how it all felt. You didn't want to forget any of those things. You didn't want to forget her. You wouldn't forget her.

"I am tired too yet I am staying." Jennie bit her lower lip and you opened your eyes. The only thing you could do now was to imagine Chaeyoung still being here, imagine all her laughs, smiles, cries, hugs and all the other things. Her smaller hand came up to your face, trying to wipe away your tears as her sleeves and skin have been soaking them up like grass soaking up water when it rains for two months now. It was a storm, but she wasn't going to leave and seek shelter, she was there to stand with you in the middle of it and let her whole body soak up every drop of water- every tear. "That's different, baby." Jennie said, she knew that you were hurting and that it all felt useless for you right now, but you were grieving the death of your best friend and would hopefully come to terms with what happened. Chaeyoung's story was different from what all of you guys knew. Different enough for her to not be able to stay.

You shook your head, not wanting to see it as different though. You wanted to believe that Chaeyoung had every reason to stay just like you. She made you look at her and you only now saw that your actions from a few minutes ago must've scared and hurt her. She was worried and she was here for you, but you couldn't help but yearn for someone who no longer could be here for you. "You have to understand that she just wants to rest now, but you're not letting her. You're tiring her out when she's about to reach the peace she left us for...You have to let her go and remember her for who she was and not for the pain she left. I don't think Chaeyoung would like seeing you like this...I think you would make her feel guilty and sorry for something that was her choice." You glanced beside you at all the things lying in front of your best friend's locker.

"I just want to know why...Nothing is clear to me, it just doesn't make any sense to me." How could you accept anything when you didn't know why she left you? You ran everything through your head, but there was nothing that answered the why's. You held back a groan at the pain that went through your hand, but Jennie clearly saw the pain on your face. Jennie took your injured hand, holding it with both of her hands as she looked at it with a pout. "Please don't hurt yourself again- I- it's too much for me to look at and it hurts me too...I love you too much to be able to see in more pain." She said as you two were always honest with each other. Jennie was always so honest with you and it instantly let you be honest with her too, trusting each other with your words.

You ignored the pain in your hand for the moment, a small yelp leaving Jennie when you pulled her to you, hugging the girl close as she was on her knees on the floor with you, hugging around your nape. "I won't, I'm sorry...you know that I never would hurt you on purpose or do anything to hurt you. I love you way too much to cause you pain, Jennie." You apologized, it was something you had been doing a lot lately, feeling like you wronged everyone ever since Chaeyoung left. Although Jennie reassured you every time that it was fine and you didn't have to apologise for grieving. "It's ok...I'm gonna make sure that you get through this without any more bruises." Jennie stated as she was determined to get you through this, pulling away as she cupped your face, still holding onto her waist. She leaned forward and left a peck on your quivering lips.

"It's fucking horrible isn't it?" You asked Chaeyoung and watched as her features turned into a slight cringe and you groaned, letting your forehead meet the table as you rested your head against it. You were supposed to write an assignment for one of your classes but you were struggling. Asking Chaeyoung to check it out knowing that she would be honest with you and always tell you the truth. A quality you two had that not everyone would agree is completely good was honesty, no matter how frustrating the truth could be. "I can just help you with this because this isn't the best Y/n." Chaeyoung truthfully told you and she was always willing to help you with whatever it was that you needed help with. Whether it would be school work to something more personal. She was always there and never left.

You looked up at her in hope. "Could you?" You asked to make sure since you didn't want to bother her in case she had her own things to work on. Chaeyoung gave you a smile and nodded her head. The blonde looked behind you and suddenly you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders, making you tilt your head back to be met by Jennie who with a tilted head looked down at you."Don't you have math?" You questioned your girlfriend as you knew that she had class right now. She glanced over at Chaeyoung before looking back at you. "It's fine...I already know everything." This made you look over at Chaeyoung who avoided your gaze already knowing that your best friend was the one who informed Jennie about you two being in the library because if she wouldn't know she wouldn't have left class.

"You two need to stop with this skipping classes and practice." You said because not long ago you were walking Chaeyoung back to practice and now Jennie was skipping too. It wasn't the first time and you were always the one walking them back to class. Jennie walked around you and smoothly made herself comfortable in your lap. "You're so cute, trying to act like the oldest one here." Jennie teased and pecked your cheek, Chaeyoung laughing at how you tried to fight the bashful smile that was fighting to appear on your lips. "Is that the assignment you have been working on?" Jennie questioned as she looked at the paper that was laying in front of Chaeyoung. The girl slid it over to Jennie as you hummed. "It's really bad." Chaeyoung commented when Jennie picked it up, the girl in your lap caressing your hand as she was already reading the paper.

Jennie sighed and put the paper down once she was done. "It isn't the best, no." Jennie honestly told you and gave you a sorry look. You rested your forehead against her shoulder. "I know...Chaeyoung will help me with it." You mumbled, the two girls sharing the same quality, honesty and always being willing to help you with anything that you needed. You weren't sure where your head would be without them.

You knew that it would have been over for you if Jennie wouldn't be right here after Chaeyoung passed. You always needed at least one of them and without Chaeyoung here anymore, Jennie was the only person who was holding onto the part of you that had detached from your body. If she wouldn't be here, that part of you would be gone together with you because if Chaeyoung wasn't here you had no reason to stay except for Jennie. She was the only reason why you were still here.

You slowed down in your steps as you watched the green bus pass by you two, feeling the air in your lungs get too thick to leave you. The air clogged up your throat together with those screams as you watched the bus continue its usual route without Chaeyoung aboard it. Time really didn't stop for even a second when someone left this world, everything and everyone just continued on with their lives. There was no stop so you could at least process anything in your head.

Jennie stopped in her tracks together with you, feeling how your grip on her hand tightened just the slightest, seeing how your jaw moved in anxiousness. What was it to you if the world continued to rotate? You didn't have to continue together with it...you could just stay right where you were, couldn't you? You knew the answer to that. "There's really nothing that I can do, can I?" You asked and looked at Jennie, she sighed and shook her head. "No, not really." She confirmed, you take a deep breath almost gasping for air as it was difficult to inhale at this point. You were so desperate for the air to get thinner so it would get easier to breathe again, but that just didn't happen.

"I want to...see her." Jennie's lips parted at your words. "Are you sure?" She asked you to make sure that you wanted this. She knew that you would go at some point, but she didn't want you to force yourself because it was difficult for you to say the least. "I'm sure."

-

Jennie could feel how each of your steps got heavier and more hesitant the closer you two got. The air was even thicker here and it crushed your insides because of how heavy it was. "Do you want me to wait here or come with you?" Jennie asked as you two stopped, your eyes already looking towards Chaeyoung's direction. The girl had already been here a few times when she had time while you hadn't, thinking that maybe you needed to be alone for this. "You will be right here, right?" You asked her to make sure since you were scared of just getting left alone by the only person you had left that was keeping you here. Chaeyoung left you with fear. "Of course...I will sit right here on this bench and won't move an inch." Jennie reassured you, her thumb gently rubbing your knuckles on the hand that wasn't injured.

"Just take your time." She gave your hand a light squeeze before letting go as you nodded, taking those heavy steps towards your best friend's grave. Your feet felt heavier and the soil under your feet felt like quicksand, pulling you down further the closer you got. It had been two months and it looked like people were still regularly coming here as there were fresh flowers and grave candles on her grave.

You came to a stop as you were right in front of the place where your best friend was resting. You hadn't visited Chaeyoung ever since they lowered her into the cold ground. Your hand gripped harder around the flowers you were holding in your hand, your jaw clenching but it all was for nothing as the pain slipped right past your lips. The keen cries left your mouth as you crouched down right in front of her grave, closing your eyes tightly as you kept on wiping away at your eyes. The tears seeped through your closed eyes as you slumped down, sitting on the grass, pulling your knees to your chest, clutching hard onto the roses in your hand as you buried you face in your forearm that was resting on top of your knees.

"Why Chaeyoung? Why?" You cried out with your creaking voice that has had enough of your repeated cries after your best friend. Looking up at her grave stone, your eyes landing on the small picture of her that was on the headstone right by her name. "I've been crying after you every day and night, only to get no reply from you." You said and bit your lower lip to stop your sobs. You knew that you would spend your time here and wait for a reply just like you have been waiting for one every day since she left. Only to not get one. "I am so angry with myself and I wish I would be able to be angry with you and not me, but you know very well that I have never been able to stay angry with you for even a second...You knew that all along." You somehow managed to talk to her, waiting for some sort of relief, but all you felt was sorrow and pain.

"I still dream about you Chaeyoung! You're still alive in my head. Yet here I am talking to your grave." You gritted out through your tears and sobs, feeling like a fool because of what she did. These day-long laments were exhausting and you could feel how you barely were able to continue crying as just whimpers of pain left your mouth. "Did you think that talking to your grave would be enough for me? That you could just leave me because I would get through everything by talking to your grave? That I wouldn't want to hear your voice? It sounds selfish but what else can I be when you left without any reason? You could've at least left me a damn note, Chaeyoung." You moved the flowers to look at them, the cuts on your knuckles covered by the band-aids Jennie had put on them.

You placed them by your feet and sighed. "You made me make all these promises that I now have to keep...Who's going to keep your promises Chaeyoung?" You asked her, wondering who would keep all these promises she made you. You were going to keep yours because you would never be able to break a promise you made. A groan escaped your mouth and you blinked your eyes, the tears falling right after. "You never really meant it when you promised to stay with me forever...You knew that you weren't going to stay for long. You knew and you left me, you left me without a single word about it. Didn't you trust me? Wasn't I enough of a reason to stay?...What made you even so sure that you could just leave, how were you sure that I wouldn't just follow right after you?" You were so tired, it felt like you would throw your heart up any second now.

Were you just supposed to come here every day now and wait for an answer? Was Chaeyoung ever going to answer you? Did she even see you right now? She had left you without a word. You always knew where Chaeyoung was since she always told you and talked to you. Now you couldn't even try and say where she could be as you had no clue because she never told you or talked to you about this. "I just...miss you." It always ended like this, with you wailing, bawling your tired eyes out like a baby to your best friend. "This is the- the longest I have ever been without you ever since we met." You weren't sure how much longer you would be able to be without Chaeyoung. "You should've told me...I would wait for you if you had told me what was wrong. I would be here and wait for you...I am waiting for you." All you could do was wait for something that wouldn't happen now.

"Come on, Y/n, it's only for two days and I will be back." Chaeyoung laughed out and pushed you away when you were about to cling to her again. "No, don't leave me." You begged, probably being too dramatic since the girl was only going away for the weekend to another city to celebrate her cousin's birthday with her family. "You know that I don't want to leave you either, but I believe that we will be able to survive two days without seeing each other- two hard days, but we will manage." Chaeyoung said and chuckled, but it sounded painful as she herself had tears in her eyes now. You let out a whine and hugged her tight, not wanting your best friend to leave for those two days. "I can come with you." You breathed out and she shook her head, rubbing your back.

"We need to start practising being away from each other for at least short periods and you can't leave Jennie." Chaeyoung reminded you about your girlfriend and she also knew that you two should be able to be away from each other for at least two days. It would be difficult since you guys had been glued together ever since you met. "I know, that's why I will take her with us." You mumbled since you and Jennie had the same problem as you and Chaeyoung of not being able to be away from each other. You assumed that once you loved someone you no longer could be separated from them for long. You couldn't be separated from Chaeyoung or Jennie as you loved them both too much for that.

"No Y/n, you're staying right here with Jennie and I will see you in two days." Chaeyoung firmly stated and pulled away looking at you, trying her best to not just give in and take you two with her. "Yes, I will tell her right now...she should be here somewhere." You said, looking around the hallway for Jennie, spotting your girlfriend already walking towards you and Chaeyoung. You waved her over to you two and she skipped in her steps. "Hey you two...Why are you guys in tears?" Jennie asked confused once she reached you two and saw that you both were on the verge of tears. "Doesn't matter why anymore because we are going away with Chaeyoung for the weekend." You stated and Jennie lit up at that looking at the blonde girl with a smile who only groaned in return.

"No, no one is going with me, you two are staying. It's just two days." Chaeyoung said and turned away from you and Jennie, opening her locker to avoid the looks on your faces knowing that she would just give in if she did. "Two days will be like an eternity for you two." Jennie commented and leaned against the locker beside Chaeyoung's to look at the girl, well aware of the fact that you and Chaeyoung would be shaking in longing after each other. Jennie herself hated being away from you so she completely understood it. Once you get so used to someone's presence, you aren't yourself anymore if they leave for a few seconds too long. You hummed agreeing with Jennie as you leaned against the locker behind her, both of you just waiting for the blonde to just agree.

"You- no, stop pestering me about it...You can like distract her by you know." Chaeyoung commented almost giving in before she slammed her locker closed looking at you two like you were parasites. Jennie shyly giggled at that and had to turn away from the blonde, burying her face in your shirt being way too shy to talk about what Chaeyoung was referring to. You rubbed her back and looked at Chaeyoung who shook her head, still doing her best not agreeing. "Please?" You begged with a small pout and Chaeyoung groaned at that.

That day she agreed for you and Jennie to come, knowing damn well that it would be hell on earth for you two if she had just left you even if it was for two days. "What are we going to do without you Chaeyoung? It feels wrong to just keep on living life without you here. You knew damn well what hell it would be for me to be without you." You spoke as you calmed down, wiping away the tears from your cheeks although they were still falling from your eyes. The way life went on even after death was something you couldn't grasp. What made everything so much harder was that you didn't know who to blame for this. You ended up being angry at the world and being angry with yourself.

"I failed you as a best friend...I failed you, didn't I?" You asked and looked at the picture of Chaeyoung on the headstone, looking at her with your tears falling harder as she had a smile on her face like always. It hurt so badly especially when you were sitting here, knowing that you failed your best friend. You failed someone so precious to you. "What if fail everyone else too? What if Jennie leaves me too? What if everyone just ends up leaving me Chaeyoung?" You worriedly asked your best friend, she always had answers for you. You always came to her for advice and help, knowing that she would be honest with you. The frustration you felt inside was indescribable when you got no answer from your best friend.

You were so lost without her. Chaeyoung was stuck in your head like a melody that you just can't forget and never will forget, she was stuck on repeat even in the worst moments making everything so difficult. You couldn't focus on anything else but the melody that Chaeyoung was. Would it even matter if everyone else just left you? You sighed and pulled your knees closer to your chest, hugging them as you buried your face in them. "Was there anything that I could have done differently to make you stay?" You tiredly asked, crying into your knees, your body shaking as you couldn't take the pain anymore. Your heart was clenching, trying to hold on to the pieces that it was getting shredded into. Your chest hurting and your ribs were suddenly constricting your lungs from being able to breathe normally.

"Didn't I tell you enough how beautiful you are? How good you are? How you are the kindest and purest person I have ever met? How your heart isn't made of gold but platinum since gold is fucking shit and gets ruined so easily? Didn't I say how much I love you enough? That you are my Rosie?" You sniffled and pressed your eyes more into your knees to let the material of your jeans soak up the tears. "I am forever going to miss you because I will always love you." You managed to look up again, sobs leaving your mouth one after another as you looked at the place where Chaeyoung was supposedly resting now. Weren't your arms enough for her? Couldn't she just rest in your arms until she would feel better again? You were so homesick without her arms around you and it made you wonder if she felt the same right now, the only time you felt somewhat better was when Jennie would hug you.

You used your sleeves to wipe your face, moving to reach for the flowers that were by your feet. "I bought you these...You always hated when I would buy you flowers, but still would always put them on your desk in your room and they would be there until there was no single petal left on them." You said with a chuckle, sniffling as you kept on wiping the tears away with your sleeve. "I wish I had bought you flowers more often though because I know that you secretly loved it...I might start doing it now, buy you flowers every week and give them to you." You heaved a sigh and moved to get on your feet. You looked at the flowers in your grip and with a deep breath you took a step closer to her, crouching down to put them on top of her gravestone with the rest of the flowers and other things.

"I love you Chaeyoung...I love you a lot. You know that a piece of my heart will forever belong to you, that way you will always have a piece of me. I didn't even have to make the promise to never forget you because whether or not I would make that promise, I would never forget you." You explained, your fingers gently running over the polished stone that was connected to the headstone. "You know...if it gets difficult up there just know that I am still always here for you if you need someone to talk to." You reminded her that even if she wasn't here you would still always be there for her no matter how far away she would be. Your arms were always open for Chaeyoung even when her body was cold and not possible to warm up again like you always did.

"I'm sorry for not coming sooner, I just couldn't bring myself to do so. I'm so sorry for leaving you alone for so long...I promise that it won't happen again." You said and with a shaky breath pressed your thumb against the stone to seal the promise like you two always did, your tears falling and hitting the stone, splattering like raindrops that hit the ground. Although your tears had more meaning to them than the rain did. "I love you Rosie...I will be back soon so you won't feel alone." You stood up straight and looked over her grave one last time with a heavy heart. It felt difficult to leave her although you knew that nothing would happen if you left her now, always thinking about how if you hadn't left that day then nothing of this would have happened. A piece of you was in that ground with your best friend.

The cemetery was so quiet and peaceful even if people came here to sorrow, to try and bury their grief together with their lost loved ones. Because of that Jennie was in tears, hearing you talk to your best friend the whole time, your voice reaching her and she hoped that it reached Chaeyoung too. She was quick to stand up and wipe her tears when you approached her. You rubbed at your eyes as you stopped in front of her, feeling like a vulnerable mess, ignoring the pain in your right hand that was bruised. Jennie grabbed your balled-up fists and looked you in your red and tear-filled eyes.

"You're so strong. I adore you so much, Y/n...I adore the person you are." Jennie confessed her adoration for you, being the person she adored the most and somehow amidst all your sorrow you felt your heart flutter. Your hand went up to her cheeks cupping them. "Thank you for being here for me...I don't think I would be able to get this far without you Jennie. I really don't think I would be able to." You confessed as you were deeply thankful for having Jennie. She hugged your waist and rested her cheek against your torso as you hugged around her shoulders.

You were going to continue keeping Jennie warm even if you no longer were able to keep Chaeyoung warm. You weren't going to give up on Jennie, she was the only light left in your life at the moment, the only thing keeping you away from getting fully swallowed by all the darkness. She was the only one keeping you warm right now, she was the little fire that you wouldn't let burn out just like she was making sure that the little flame left in you wouldn't fully die out.

-

You were here for Jennie, you weren't sure if you would be sitting here at these bleachers if it wouldn't be for your girlfriend being part of the cheer team as the contest was taking place today. Two months ago you talked about this day with Chaeyoung and now you were sitting at the bleachers empty-handed together with your friends as your school's cheer team would be out soon. The cheer team were doing this to honour your best friend, but it was still difficult to sit here and watch. You knew how difficult it was for the girls on the team and the few guys that were on it too, they were for the first time in four years going to perform without their captain. Jennie had assured you that she was fine and to not worry about her, but you knew that she was hanging on by a thread today. That's why you were here. She would need you today just as much as you had needed her every day for the past two months.

You could feel how your heart started to beat in a heavier way, like when a steam train passes right by you and you can feel it below your feet. Hearing your heartbeat in your ears together with the familiar song. It was the song that Chaeyoung used for this contest exactly four years ago when she became the captain; it was their way to honour her, but you could only think of how you were here to support your best friend on her first big cheer contest as the captain of the team. All your memories were so vivid and you always broke inside at them. Hearing her name was enough to make you fall to pieces all over again.

"You got this in the bag Chaeyoung!" You exclaimed, trying to ease her worries slightly as she was nervous, this was her first big contest as the captain. It was a team sport, but still, a captain was still a captain and everyone was expecting her to shine. Plus the fact that she was 14 with a big audience like that made it just that much more nerve-wracking. "Do you think so?" She nervously asked as you two stood away from the team so you could have some privacy. She didn't want the rest to know how nervous she was, she only trusted you with this. "I've seen you guys practice and it was always great...I will treat you to nuggets if you guys win." You happily said and that seemed to make the girl get into her spirit, knowing that if nuggets were at stake then there was no way that she would allow anything to go wrong.

"Promise?" Chaeyoung said and held out her pinkie to you. With a smile, you hooked your pinkie with hers. "I promise and a milkshake." You promised, as you guys touched thumbs, she let out a small squeal and quickly hugged you, making you hug back. Something about having a friend that you were this close with made everything so weirdly nice. There was some sort of peace coursing through your smaller bodies and making everything else disappear. No nervousness, no fear, nothing like that was present and it felt like you were floating. "And I promise to do my best, especially as a captain." Chaeyoung exclaimed and you nodded. "You always do your best...but you should probably tell that to them." You said and gestured with your head towards her squad that looked like they were about to pass out.

They won that day and they did it three years in a row with Chaeyoung leading them, this would be her fourth regional contest and you bought her those nuggets and milkshake, it became a tradition. You took her to the small place after every contest that they won to eat nuggets.

The crowd erupted into cheers, making your ears ring as they finished. Your friends were on their feet, cheering for your school and Jennie did really great with the team. Getting on your feet, your eyes landed on Jennie, being able to see how her lower lip quivered and the tears cascaded down her cheeks, standing in Chaeyoung's spot as they were in the finishing pose; she was the girl's right hand, it was only right for her to be standing there. As they all were slowly starting to gather to get off the stage you made it through the crowd of people on the bleachers when Jennie quickly ran off the stage. Walking as fast as possible you reached the cheer squad, asking them where Jennie was; everyone on the team was comforting each other, their tears brimming their eyes and it was visible that this wasn't easy for them. They pointed towards their designated changing room as it wasn't taking place at your school and you took off towards it.

Everyone had moved on as you watched the students of your school applaud and cheer. The only ones that were still not fully over it were her friends that only tried to somewhat cheer for the team that didn't have its captain with it. Why wouldn't they have moved on? They didn't know Chaeyoung, she was just someone they passed in the hallways, she wasn't part of their lives while she was a big part of your guys' lives.

You knocked on the door and only got a sob in return so you opened the door, walking inside you closed the door after you and saw Jennie sitting with her face buried in her knees on one of the benches, her body shaking slightly as she continued to cry. God did you hate seeing her like that, you couldn't hold yourself together because whenever she would cry you would end up crying too, but you knew that you had to be strong just this once. She needed you. "Jennie...baby." You let out and the small whimper that came from her cracked another spot in your heart and you weren't sure how much more your heart would be able to take. Sitting down beside her, you wrapped an arm around her, making Jennie look up from her knees and seek comfort in your arms instead as she gripped onto your hoodie, wrapping both your arms around her body as she let you pull her into your lap.

"It's...all just now..." Jennie tried to explain through her sobs, but just ended up swallowing all her words, choking on them, and not being able to continue. She curled up into you more as she sat sideways in your lap, her knees pulled up against you. "It's sinking in now...I thought that I was ok now, but being out there without- without Chaeyoung...it just made it so hard to breathe, Y/n." Jennie cried into the crook of your neck and you felt your eyes water at her words, the mention of her name, it was all so much. "I could feel- I could feel that something was missing the whole time...and realized that it was Chaeyoung." Another whimper came from Jennie and she pulled more on your hoodie, burying her face in the material.

You both knew that the feeling of something, more like someone always missing would always be there now, but you two were never prepared for it to be that obvious. It was like losing a necessity and looking for it. Chaeyoung was someone important in your lives, it didn't matter if you knew her for 13 years or 3 like Jennie. The girl was such a big part of your lives and she suddenly wasn't here, meaning that a big part of your lives, a big part of you was just suddenly missing, simply gone and never coming back. "I feel like I disappointed her and the squad out there...there's no way that I will ever be able to lead anyone to victory, let alone lead as Chaeyoung did, Y/n." You could hear how vulnerable and insecure she felt right now, together with the pain and you could hear yourself in it all. Wondering how Jennie managed to comfort you so well at times like these.

"You have never managed to disappoint her Jennie, or the team...Chaeyoung- she-." You cursed yourself in your head as your voice cracked and you were starting to break down too. Feeling how your nose was prickling, making your tears fill your eyes in an instant because of it. "You're so strong for being able to go out there and lead the team for Chaeyoung, in her honour...She would only be proud of you, especially for being so strong." You spoke against her hair as you nuzzled your face in it, trying your best to make Jennie understand that Chaeyoung would never be disappointed in her. Your best friend always looked up to Jennie for how strong she was and she proved every day how much stronger she was than what you saw.

"She looked up to you, she saw you as a sister...someone who was always there for her and she could trust...she loved you so much that there would never be any room for disappointment, baby." You reassured her, rubbing her back gently when she got hiccups. "You weren't only her right hand on the squad, but outside of it too...she knew that you would make a great captain- that's why she chose you for that position." You pulled your face away from her and Jennie looked up from your hoodie, meeting your eyes. Her eyes filled with tears that ran down her flushed cheeks, her eyes were red and her lower lip started quivering again, the hiccups making it difficult for her to catch her breath.

You moved your one hand up to her face, using it to collect her tears, ignoring the trembling in your fingers as you looked at her. "You're so beautiful and talented...she loves you, they love you, I love you." You let out, caressing her cheek with your thumb, a lump in your throat as you felt a few tears managed to escape your eyes, but your beautiful girlfriend was quick to wipe them for you. You leaned forward and placed your lips on her forehead, leaving a lingering peck as she calmed down with every heartbeat that was slamming against her ribcage from all the emotions that were going through her mind and body. Jennie closed her eyes at your lips against her skin before she felt you rest your forehead against hers, her hand coming around your nape as she scratched gently. "I love you so much Y/n." Jennie let out a whisper and connected her lips with yours.

You were on your way to Chaeyoung's practice as usual after being done with yours, pushing the double doors open that led to the field. Your eyes landed on the cheer squad that was busy with practice- including Chaeyoung who hadn't ran away this time- so you made it to the bleachers where a few others were sitting, joining your friends. Your eyes just scanned everyone for a second, but stopped on the new face that was a part of the practice, realizing that it was the new girl that changed to this school two weeks ago. Although your gaze switched away from her and you looked to your side when you got nudged. "Who is that? I haven't seen her before on the team." Your friend Namjoon asked as he was waiting for one of his other friends that were part of the cheer team too, being a year older, 16 and you 15- a year above you- he didn't know that there was a new girl in the class below his.

"Uhm she's new in class, she started two weeks ago and I guess she got on the team." The guy hummed and nodded, you saw as he fought back a smile and you knew that he was onto you already since your voice never held a quiver when you would talk, but now it did when you talked about the new girl. You somehow managed to find yourself crushing on the girl and you haven't even told Chaeyoung yet- you were going to, but you assumed that she already figured it out because you were always so obvious and she knew you so well. "What's her name?" He asked instead and you glanced over at the field to see them slowly finishing up. "Jennie." Namjoon patted your back and stood up, giving you a wink. "Well, good luck." He said and your lips parted at that, but you didn't get to say anything as he walked down the bleachers, greeting his friend as the practice was over.

If he figured it out within a few minutes then Chaeyoung knew already for sure. You stood up from your spot and saw Chaeyoung already walking towards you. "You did great...well, from the few minutes that I saw you were great." You said and the blonde smiled big. "Great to know that I am good at stretching, Y/n." Chaeyoung said with a giggle since she saw when you came out on the field, which was when they were finishing up and stretching their limbs. You chuckled and shrugged, your eyes momentarily falling behind Chaeyoung to see the new girl- Jennie- packing up her bag while talking to a few girls. Even if your gaze moved away for a split second, Chaeyoung caught it and looked where you had looked before looking back at you.

"I think you have something to tell me...something along the lines of having a crush on the new girl." She teased you and you opened your mouth to say something but puffed out your cheeks instead before releasing your breath. You gave her a bashful nod. "Are you two friends?" You questioned and your hands found their way into your pockets so you wouldn't start fiddling with them as you tended to do that when you were nervous, fiddling with whatever came in reach like your clothes or bracelets or anything else. "Yeah, we're quite close actually...Want me to ask her if she wants to hang out with us today?" Chaeyoung suggested and saw the hope in your eyes as you looked up at her. "Could you? I'd like to get to know her but there's just no way that I will get the guts to ask her myself." You smiled when she gave you a nod before she pulled you with her towards Jennie.

Thanks to Chaeyoung you have an amazing and loving girlfriend. You've known her for three years now and been in a relationship for two, but it felt like you have known each other for so much longer. You were grateful about this every day, and you were so thankful for Chaeyoung, knowing that without her you would never be where you are right now, with Jennie who you loved and adored. Chaeyoung had given you so much and assured so that you were happy and you felt like you had failed her, not sure if you had managed to give her back enough.

It felt like the wind got knocked out of you like you were hit by a bullet train when you stepped inside Chaeyoung's room. It was cold. Why would it be warm if there was no one there to keep it warm? Her smell still lingered in the air and you clenched your jaw to stop your tears, you really didn't have the energy to cry more. You didn't want to cry much more, you came here for some sort of peace and acceptance, not to cry, but it was easier said than done. You weren't sure where to look for your peace in her room, you weren't sure if there was much peace in this room where her sister found her dead. You weren't even sure if peace with this was possible because all your life Chaeyoung was part of that peace.

Deciding to fight the force that was trying to pull you back so you wouldn't enter further, you stepped further into your best friend's room. Everything was left the same as when they found her. Her family couldn't bring themselves to move a single thing. Your breathing got heavy and everything felt so gloomy, it felt like there was a storm inside of you with dark clouds and heavy rain, the wind that blew so hard in your face that you couldn't breathe properly. You stopped by her desk, her things had started to collect dust and your fingers ran across the white wooden desk, picking up some of the dust on the way before stopping by the framed picture. You picked it up and looked down at it. It was a more recent one with you, Chaeyoung, Jennie, Lisa, Jungkook and Namjoon. The dust on the glass got wet and you quickly wiped your eyes as your tears came without a warning.

"See, I told you that this was a terrible idea." Namjoon complained and you scratched the back of your neck as you looked around the place. "Stop yelling at my baby." You stopped scratching your nape and wrapped your arm around Jennie's waist when she walked up to you. You gave Namjoon a smug look, having your girlfriend on your side. The guys tsk'd and looked around, hopelessness in his eyes. "Your so-called baby got us lost in the middle of the woods." He pointed out and you two looked back at the groaning behind the taller guy to see Jungkook who had tripped over a root that was sticking out of the ground. "You idiot." Namjoon let out and held out his hand for the guy that was on the grass. "You owe me a new pair of jeans, Y/n." Jungkook said and dusted off his pants, seeing a small green stain on his left knee.

"I don't owe you shit, you tripped yourself." You defended and he huffed at that. "And to be fair, I just wanted to be nice and show Lisa the waterfall." You continued and sighed, looking around and realising that Lisa wasn't in sight and neither was Chaeyoung. You came up with the idea of taking everyone to the waterfall that you had once discovered but you must have forgotten the way to it because you did not find it and ended up walking in the middle of the woods. The three caught up to what you were looking for and realised too that the two were missing. "Well...You lost the person you wanted to show this to." Jungkook deadpanned since you wanted to especially show this to Lisa as she was an exchange student and wasn't going to be able to see this any other time.

Suddenly you saw the blonde hair you knew so well behind a pair of bushes before her voice echoed through the whole forest, the birds that were nearby scattering to find a new and quiet place. "Hey! We found the waterfall!" Chaeyoung called out and you saw her wave you guys over as she jumped so you guys could see her more clearly from behind the bushes. "You tried." Jennie comforted and patted your back before taking your hand and dragging you to walk with the other two. "I was actually just about to take that turn and-." You got cut off by Namjoon who smacked your head when you were trying to lie your way out of it, the rest of your sentence just getting swallowed back down. "Quiet, Y/n...I rather listen to nature." He said and you rolled your eyes at that.

You smiled as the four of you made it to the other side of the bushes to see the waterfall you had been talking about. "It's really beautiful." Chaeyoung said and Lisa beside her hummed, you sent Chaeyoung a knowing look when you saw the two brushing their fingers against each other, knowing that they were tingling to hold hands with each other but were too nervous to do it. You and Jennie were the same at first. "Yeah...I need some memories of this place." Lisa happily said and showed her camera that she had hanging around her neck. "Here's a great rock Lisa...Just saying if you want a group photo." Jungkook subtly pointed with his head at the rock that would work as a tripod of a sort.

You placed back the framed picture of you guys by the waterfall. You had so many memories with Chaeyoung, but you weren't sure if they were enough. Taking in a shaky breath, you blinked away your tears and looked towards one of the walls she had in her room. Making your way to it as it hurt to walk around her room. It was as if there was poison in the air that occupied her room and you were breathing it in and slowly dying. You looked at all the polaroids on the wall, all those memories you wondered if she took with her to her grave. It all made you realise that time was the most expensive luxury in the world.

You could point at any of the photos and tell exactly what happened on that day, you remembered every day with Chaeyoung and you were so scared that you would forget them now that she wasn't here. They ranged from when you two were five to 18, then there weren't only pictures of you and her, but others too as she always cherished all her friends and family. Although your eyes had to do a double check when you looked at the folded piece of paper that was pinned to the wall in the middle of all the polaroids, your name was written on it and you frowned. Sniffling, you reached for it as it just didn't make sense for it to be there with all those polaroids. You removed the pin and pinned it back into the wall after taking the piece of paper.

The piece of paper looked like it had been ripped out of a lined journal as you unfolded it, letting your eyes scan over it. You stopped, realizing what it was and the air felt even thicker and more poisonous now. Clutching the piece of paper in your hand you turned around and walked over to Chaeyoung's bed. The lump in your throat was getting painful as you sat down in her bed and leaned against the headboard. It felt so weird to be sitting in it and you reached for the plushie, putting it in your lap as you hugged it and rested your chin on top of it. You closed your eyes, the paper still in your hand as you inhaled the smell of Chaeyoung that lingered on the plushie that you gave her when you two were seven and she had kept it all this time. Knowing that you had to face reality you looked up, your tears already staining the plushie as you with your trembling hands unfolded the paper again. Reading what it said as it wasn't just a piece of paper but a note.

I hope it didn't take you too long to get a hold of this letter that I left for you Y/n.

I first want to say that; I really hope that I don't have to be sorry or apologise for my choice. I hope no one is angry with me and if anyone is, I hope they won't stay angry for too long. I hate when people are upset or angry, smiles always suited everyone much better than scowls. Y/n, your smile always made me smile so I hope that you won't cry for too long because I rather look down at you and see you smile than be sad.

I was thinking about this for over three years now, I just couldn't leave you Y/n, not until I would help you find someone who would be able to be there for you like I always was. Finally that someone came into your life, that's why I want you to cherish Jennie the way I cherished you and you cherished me because I know that she will be able to be there for you through your whole life since I won't be able to be there for you in person anymore. My presence will always be with you though even if it's not in person, I will always be watching over you to make sure that you stay on the right path without me right by your side. I think you will be able to realise that you have found a best friend in Jennie too and not just your lover. I know that you have because I saw it with my own eyes. You two are each other's halves now.

I know that I promised to stay forever. I am going to keep that promise and stay forever by your side even if it's not in person.

I know that it's always possible to feel better but I don't want to feel better when I know that any second I can just fall back down to the bottom where I was a second ago. I also doubt that it is possible to go back to my old self and if I lost my old self, then I don't wanna keep going. It's the old me that everyone loves, it's the old me that I loved and I just can't seem to accept or love the person I am now.

I can't see myself doing all those things that are meant to be done when you grow up. College, work, relationships, starting a family or anything along those lines. And even if I can do them, I don't want to do them, not like this.

I haven't been feeling too well for the past three years. I could have told you, but I just couldn't bring myself to do so. I didn't want you to sit and worry about me every night because I know that you would do just that. I knew that there was no going back for me Y/n and even if there would be, nothing would feel the same anymore. Please don't blame yourself for anything and don't think that you did something wrong. You kept me going for these three years and I didn't think I would be able to stay that long but I did, but there's only so far a torn car can go.

I can only apologise for not having a good explanation for why I did what I did. I know it sounds complicated, but it really isn't Y/n, and we have always been honest with each other and I will be honest with you in this letter.

My will to not want to live is so strong that it's hard to find words to describe it. But I shouldn't have to explain why I want to die so badly because it's simple, I just want to die. I can't apologise for that, Y/n and I am really hoping you will understand.

That day, you gave me everything I needed for the last time before I would leave.

You gave me my last laugh. My last smile. My last cry. My last memories. My last hug. My last words. My last 'I love you'. My last promise.

You gave me all those things that I wanted to experience with you one last time in one day. You are the best person I have ever been with, ever met. There was never anyone that could have replaced you, done anything better than you or treated me better than you. Nothing you did could have been done better. I love you Y/n and always did, but unfortunately, even you aren't making it hard for me to leave this time. I wish it wasn't like that, but I have lost myself a long time ago, I don't know who I am anymore or maybe this is who I am, but I just can't accept the person I am now. You always loved me for who I was, I just wished that I would be able to love myself the same way too.

This is no one else's fault but mine. Don't blame yourself or anyone else, Y/n/n.

Aside from those hard times, I went through, amidst all that and before it, you always created great memories with me. I cherish all the things we did together and I hope you will cherish them for us for the rest of your life.

Please, don't stare at the sunsets for too long to find me because I am right by your side whether you feel it or not. I am right there by your side, holding your hand through it all like always. Please, keep all the promises we made, especially the last two we made that day and never forget me. I hope you can let me keep on living through you, through your memories of me, that way I will never die. Some people do live forever, they live on through you and won't die, you decide when they die by either remembering them or forgetting them. I hope you won't let me die fully.

I promise to be safe wherever I end up and put in a good word for you to God if it is heaven. Stay safe for me Y/n, keep Jennie safe and the ones close to you too. Love everyone unconditionally just like you loved me. Keep on living your life and don't hold back because time won't stop. Take my advice one last time, I can see that Jennie is the one, pursue a future with her because I know that you two will keep each other happy.

I love you Y/n, you're the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for. You're special to me and always will be. Thank you for making me happy when I thought I couldn't be and thank you for giving me so many great memories.

From: Chaeyoung, your Rosie.

You clutched onto the paper in your hands and buried your face into the plushie, crying in pain and nothing else. This was what you needed in the end, this is what made you realise the truth, that your best friend was no longer here. You never failed her. She loved you all this time, but there was nothing anyone could do to change the outcome of things.

-

"I came just like I promised you Chaeyoung." You stated as you made yourself comfortable on the grass in front of Chaeyoung's grave. This time you weren't clutching the flowers in your hand, but you placed them in front of your feet. "I bought you flowers again, just like I said that I would..." You trailed off and bit your lower lip, smiling as you looked at the picture of her by her name. The girl smiling back at you and it felt all warm and fuzzy this time. "I found your letter to me last week and I just want to thank you for always being there for me." You spoke and fiddled with the grass you sat on. You let out a sigh and closed your eyes, letting the sun warm you up as it was slowly setting, but it was still keeping the cold from getting you.

Opening your eyes again you looked past her grave and at the sky, watching the sunset with a little chuckle. "I know that you told me not to look for you in the sunsets, but I just can't help myself at times...It just feels like I might see you in them." You explained as you still would catch yourself gazing at the sunsets whenever you would see one. It felt like Chaeyoung was right there then and you always looked so the moment would last a bit longer. "You aren't here anymore, but I am grateful that you were here for the time that you were...I'm just happy that I met you even if I wish that we could have spent more years together...I will learn to fully accept it as it is, for you and everyone else, Chaeyoung." You said and pulled on the grass straws, taking in a deep breath, you could smell the grass and flowers around you this time, even the sunset had a smell to it, and you could smell the warmth that it created.

Taking another deep breath, this time you could feel your lungs expand as the air reached you and wasn't heavy at all. It was all so light and fresh, it felt nice to be able to breathe again. It was as if someone was holding you back the whole time from all these things until you would learn to accept everything. Maybe it was Chaeyoung since she hated whenever you would be crying all miserable. "I want to assure you that I am going to keep all the promises we made, the last two ones we made that day too and I will never forget you...I will let you to continue live through my memories." You assured her. You were no longer waiting for answers from her because everything was already answered for you. You could let Chaeyoung get the peace she wanted, she could finally rest as you let her do so.

"I thought that you would want to know that no one is angry about your choice and you don't have to be sorry about what you did. I was never angry with you, but myself although after reading your letter, you assured me that I didn't have to." You leaned forward and placed your hand over the gravestone, running your fingers over the polished stone with a small smile. Removing a few small leaves that were resting on it and whatnot. Living life was much easier now that there weren't as many why's in it. Not only could Chaeyoung have her peace now and rest, but so could you.

"You know the plushie I bought you when we were seven, yeah...I kind of took it with me and I hope you don't mind although Jennie keeps on stealing it in the middle of the night in her sleep...She then wakes up and says that she thought that it was me that she was hugging." You said with a grin and looked again at the picture, meeting her eyes that were even glimmering in the picture. The sunset kept warming you up and it was just how Chaeyoung's hugs felt. You were about to say more when you felt something furry nuzzle into your arm that was resting behind you as you leaned back, holding yourself up with your arms. Looking at whatever it was that was rubbing against you to see a small tuxedo kitten. You moved your hand and picked it up, the kitten letting you do just that and you placed it in your lap.

"What're you doing here?" You questioned and looked to see that it didn't have a collar, inspecting quickly to see it was a girl. She purred and you placed her back down in your lap, petting the kitten as you looked at her. "You're so cute." You cooed and pouted at the tiny kitten as she was so cuddly, reminding you of Chaeyoung who always clung to you for hugs and cuddles. The feline made herself comfortable in your lap as she lay down with you scratching her head. "I'm gonna keep on coming every week to visit you and talk...I really don't want you to feel like you are alone." You spoke to Chaeyoung after looking up from the kitten. There was just one thing that would never sit right with you even if you moved on and kept on living your life. There would always be one thing that would always bug you. That there would always be a presence missing no matter how much time would pass.

"I still think that it's ok to miss you even if I am supposed to move on with life." You stated as a matter of fact, there was no way that you would ever just not miss her. You moved the kitten out of your lap, placed it beside you and grabbed the flowers. "Oh come on." You complained when the feline attacked them, pulling off a few petals so you pushed her away as she didn't seem too fond of flowers. Getting on your feet, you ignored how your shoelaces were being tugged at and your shoes probably getting ruined by the claws and you put the flowers on the gravestone. "You're the bestest friend I could have ever asked for Chaeyoung, I love you." You said and felt how your eyes got a little warmer, closing them to compose yourself and stop yourself from shedding tears. "Be safe and I will be too." You let out a shaky breath and smiled at her one last time.

-

"Jennie, I swear she followed me all the way from the cemetery." You defended as you held the kitten in your arms, standing right by Jennie's door after entering her room to get a bunch of questions thrown your way about why you had a cat with you. You used your finger and rubbed her nose, her paws gripping onto your finger as she licked it. "So you just...brought her inside with you?" Jennie asked confused as she looked at you holding the kitten, you hummed and shrugged your shoulders. "It's the cat distribution system...I think Chaeyoung reincarnated as a cat. Let's name her Rosé." You said and walked past Jennie who looked a bit baffled as you had inadvertently adopted a kitten just now, well, it was more like the kitten adopted you as she chose you. You were suddenly convinced that this was your best friend reincarnated as a cat because they were quite similar in behaviour.

Jennie got on the bed and crawled over to you as you sat with the kitten in your lap. "You really think that it's her?" Jennie questioned, curious and joined in on petting the feline that was purring, enjoying the moment very much. None of you ever crossed over the possibility of reincarnation and that it's real. Somehow it felt light to think that this could as well be her, it was comforting even if it didn't necessarily have to be true. You would like to believe that it is true. "I'd like to think that it is." You mumbled and Jennie's hand came down to yours, grabbing it as she caressed it with her thumb. "Then it definitely is...I don't think you would mistake your best friend." You chuckled at her words and she could feel how her whole body warmed up as you were finally smiling again without any tears in your eyes or pain in your voice. She could hear and see that you had come to terms with things and found peace.

You looked up at Jennie when she cupped your face and you both leaned in, connecting your lips for a sweet kiss that was no longer filled with salty tears. "I love you." You spoke against her lips and she hummed. "I love you." She said and attached her lips back to yours, but it didn't last long when you pulled away and hissed in slight pain when you felt claws dig into your thigh. Jennie laughed and you pulled Rosé away from you, holding her up as you gave her a look. "I think we should establish some rules here when it comes to the bedroom and Rosé...Cause I don't think any of us, including her, will be comfortable if she's in here when she shouldn't." Jennie stated and you hummed in agreement, a big smile on your face.

You were going to keep each promise and let Chaeyoung continue living through your memory, never forgetting her and always loving her. She was always going to be your best friend and a part of your life. Nothing would ever be the same, but nothing does ever stay the same in the end, whether she would be here or not.

#fanfic #jennie x reader #jennie x g!p reader #rosé x reader #blackpink x reader #park chaeyoung x reader #rosé x g!p reader #angst #fluff #chaeyoung x reader #chaeyoung x g!p reader #rosé angst #blackpink angst #blackpink fanfic #rosé fluff #rosé fanfic

[airaibunny]

sana x reader - “finally” (“she's better” pt 2) (warnings: smut, angst, arguing, oral, fingering, scissoring[idk if there's a classier word], breast play, praise)

a/n: by popular request, here is the part two to "she's better." this took me so long, i didn't know what direction to take it in. hopefully you guys like the finished result! also, i didn’t include dom+indicators because it switches in the middle!

word count: 1.8k

you wake up to the feeling of warm sunlight on your face. after adjusting your eyes to the brightness, you notice sana is still in bed, hugging you as she sleeps. she would normally be gone by the time you wake up, but you’re glad she’s not.

last night was definitely different, it didn’t feel like the normal ‘just sex.’ you didn’t want to ask sana about it last night, it felt too soon. you’re hoping to talk to her about it today, maybe your relationship could become something more.

“good morning!”

you excitedly remark when you see sana is awake. you turn to hug her, burying your face in her chest.

“morning.”

she turns around, getting out of bed. you’re slightly taken aback by her response, but just brush it off because you’re both barely awake.

“so, last night was…new.”

she stretches, standing up and getting her clothes.

“mhm. i’m going to get ready, see you later.”

she gives you a half smile and walks outside. you sit in bed, confused at whatever just happened. she kissed you last night, she didn’t act like it was another causal hook-up, why was she suddenly being so cold?

you’d be lying if you said you weren’t somewhat angry at her right now, is she just playing with you?

you decide to just forget about it for now, maybe she’ll act differently later. for now, you just get ready for the day. with promotions finished, there’s not much to do until the end of your schedule, so you have the day off again.

you go outside to find everyone at the table, eating breakfast. you take a spot right next to sana, smiling at her. she halfheartedly smiles back and you lean in to whisper in her ear.

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing’s wrong.”

she joins in on the conversation at the table and completely forgets you’re there. why is she back to normal? you thought after last night she’d finally ask to be your girlfriend or at least confess her feelings for you, but maybe you got the wrong idea. maybe sana doesn’t like girls, you got too excited over nothing.

“hey, im sorry about the nayeon thing last night. we all talked about it when you went to your bedroom and realized we took it too far.”

chaeyoung puts her hand on your arm as she apologizes, you tell her it’s fine and everyone continues on with their discussion. you go back to thinking about sana, you genuinely can’t stop. why did she string you along like that? there’s no way she didn’t know what she was doing.

you sit through the rest of breakfast choking back tears. it’s really so foolish of you to be upset over this. sana hasn’t budged in months, why would that change now? as soon as everyone is done eating, you storm off to your room.

you stand there, silently crying and cursing yourself for getting your hopes up. you suddenly hear the door open and look back to see sana. you wipe your tears, putting your hands on your hips.

“hey.”

sana walks closer to you, noticing how red your face is. “hey. you okay?” she brushes your cheek with her finger and cups your face.

“yes. why’d you follow me?”

“well, you came into your room and it’s the middle of the day…”

you roll your eyes and take her hand off of your face. you can’t believe her right now.

“and what? that means i’m ready for you to fuck me?”

she stands silent for a second, looking puzzled “doesn’t it?” you huff in disbelief. “you’re unbelievable sana.”

she’s still staring at you quite baffled at whatever is happening. you’re growing angrier at the fact that she doesn’t immediately know why you’re acting like this.

“i don’t understand.” she crosses her arms, furrowing her eyebrows at you.

“of course you don’t, because i’m just a fun toy for you. you play with me when you’re bored, and ignore me when you’re not.” the words choke in your throat. you can feel yourself about to cry, but you can’t, you can’t show her how truly upset you are.

“what are you talking about? i thought we were both on the same page about this relationship.” your mouth opens in shock. “what relationship sana? we don’t have a relationship, you don’t want a relationship.” you feel a tear stream down your cheek and wipe it away.

“what? you’re the one who doesn’t want a relationship. you’ve never acted like you liked me in the slightest.”

sana walks closer to you. her eyes look glossy, like she’s about to cry.

“sana, when this started, you told me you didn’t like girls. you’re also not one for sticking around.”

“well, you said the same thing.” her eyes fill with tears, but she wipes them away before they fall down. “what was i supposed to say? ‘oh well, i do’ no, sana, i liked you. i still like you. i wanted to have something with you, and this was the only thing you were willing to give me.”

you’re sobbing as your speak, your voice breaking in between sentences. sana walks closer to you, holding your face in her hands. she lifts it up to kiss you, wiping away most of your tears.

“i’m sorry. i only said all of that because i didn’t know how you would react. i know that’s stupid, i should have told you how i really felt.” she kisses you again “i like you…“ she’s stops for second, thinking about her next words. “i love you, i love you so much.”

you hug her tightly, crying into her shirt for a few seconds.

finally.

after so many years being completely whipped for minatozaki sana, you finally know she feels the same way. you heart wants to jump out of your chest with excitement. she wasn’t stringing you along, she felt the same way you did! you were just both terrified of saying what you felt.

“sana, i love you too.”

you kiss again, it feels so much different than it before. it feels primal, you’re fully enveloped in her. the kiss quickly becomes something else, her hands travel to your sides, tugging at your shirt.

“let me show you how sorry i am.”

she whispers against your lips, pulling your shirt off your body. you pull off your shorts and underwear as well, you want her all over you. you try pulling her shirt off as well, but she grabs your hands.

“no, i want this to be all about you.”

“well, what i want is your tits. please.”

you look at her with a pout, she gives you a wicked smile while pulling her shirt off and tossing it aside. you immediately wrap your hands around her breasts, connecting your lips with hers at the same time. she guides you to the bed while still kissing you and pushes you down on it.

“what do you want me to do first?”

she bends down; leaving slow, wet kisses on your neck.

“go down on me, please?” she looks up, smiling. “whatever you want, princess.”

she moves lower, her lips hovering over your skin, letting you feel her breath all the way down. she stops at your dripping core, turning her face to kiss your thigh. you would normally beg her to stop teasing you, but not today. today, you want her to kiss every inch of you.

she continues kissing you, leaving bruises and bite marks with her mouth all over your thighs. you’re dripping onto the sheets at this point, your body aches for some sort of friction. luckily, she’s done teasing you for now. you feel her tongue drag across your folds and slap a hand over your mouth to cover your moans.

she giggles at your reaction and you bring your other hand to her hair. her tongue moves up and down your core, earning low moans from you. she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks on it, fuck she’s so good.

“sana, feels good. please don’t stop.”

you look down at her, delighting in how pretty she looks. she’s still doing the same thing with her tongue, but you can now feel her fingers on your heat. she runs them across your entrance before forcing them in, making you cry out in pleasure.

with the added stimulation, you can feel yourself on the edge already. her fingers curl inside you as her tongue circles around your clit, both in perfect synchrony.

“fuck, sana-“

you finish while moaning her name, your lower body twitching. once she finishes completely cleaning you and her fingers off, she comes up for a kiss.

“you taste so good, princess.”

she gives you an inebriating smirk, bending down to kiss you again. “what now?”

“let me ride you.”

she stops kissing you, widening her eyes in shock.

“huh?”

“you heard me, let me…ride you.”

you push her down on the bed beside you and pull down her shorts, straddling her without waiting for a definitive answer. you push your hair to the side, lowering yourself to her neck. you use your hands to play with her breasts while using your lips to mark her, you want everyone to know she’s yours now.

“lift your leg.”

you order, feeling a sudden rush from being so dominant. she complies, lifting one of her legs over yours. you lower yourself, letting your folds come in direct contact with hers. you both moan and sit still for a second, getting adjusted to the new feeling.

“ready?” you ask down at her and she nods, so you start moving your hips. sana is instantly a whimpering mess, and so are you. you twitch a bit every time your clits rub against each other, she feels amazing. you notice a tear fall down her cheek and you’re surprised at how much that turns you on.

looking down at her in such a vulnerable state is exhilarating. you never thought you’d enjoy this so much, but all you want is to hear is her moaning and whimpering for you, because of you.

“does that feel good?”

she nods and you speed up, making you both grow louder. you know the members are outside but you can barely think about anything but her.

you’re both very close, you can see how flushed she is and how quickly her tears are coming. “you’re so pretty.” you whisper against her skin as you bend down to kiss her chest.

you feel your body tensing, about to reach your high. sana does before you however, squeezing your thigh. her release is all you need to hear before you come completely undone. you slow down, panting as you try to calm yourself.

you stare down at sana, smiling to yourself. she notices your smile once she opens her eyes and asks “are we done?”

“not by a long shot, i want to see you cry more.”

#kpop smut #smut #kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #fanfic #fanfiction #kpop gg #kpop x you #kpop angst #angst with a happy ending #twice smut #twice angst #twice imagines #twice x reader #twice sana #twice x you #twice x y/n #twice chaeyoung #twice fanfic #smut fic #minatozaki sana #sana #sana x y/n #sana x reader #sana smut #jyp twice #sana minatozaki #angst prompt #wlw angst #wlw smut

[saiidahyunie]

i wish i hated you 

son chaeyoung x f!reader 

synopsis: it’s not the truth nor the cure, but hating you’s the only way it doesn’t hurt.

warnings: a lot of heartbreaking feelings, sorry.

a/n: my first entry for chaepril and my (only) entry for angst april (angst4@nr1chaedickrider agenda)

putting pen to paper sounds easy, but it’s a lot more difficult to journal your thoughts when your heart is being ripped out. 

writing had always been the escape for you, pouring out these feelings and emotions to different degrees of ‘how’s your day going’ or ‘today, this happened because i did x,y, and z.’ the silence of your house filled with the occasional beep of your smoke detector in your kitchen was more therapeutic than being in a cafe where it’s busy and distracting. 

sure, there could be some prose of the classic-old cliche of ‘dear diary’ where you write in the lines of having this crush on someone in the same class as you, or how they complimented the clips in your hair, the shirt that was the new from hot topic, maybe even being partnered up for a school project was enough to report in that silly little book. 

the phone vibrates next to your laptop followed by a sound of the doorbell with combined knocking, peering over the screen where it immediately lights up to present your notification form the message app. 

// chae: hey, i’m outside ! 

// you: okay, one second.

before answering the door, you look at the google doc filled with lines of words that may have some subject to the story that you’re writing, putting an ellipsis at the end of the last sentence before stepping away to bring chaeyoung in. 

swinging, the five foot three woman in front of your doorstep stands there unbothered, sunglasses primed and everything with earbuds on with not a single care in the world. she’s so free spirited and soft spoken, you can’t help but smile at the fact that of all people that she could’ve been friends with, she decided to have you as the closest. 

“come on in,” you say. “nobody’s gonna be home until dinner.” 

chaeyoung nods, following just behind you through the living room, plopping her handbag on the couch before trailing to the kitchen where your laptop was. “what you got there? another writing assignment?” 

“no,” you laugh. “just some journalistic thoughts from the depths of my mind.” 

chaeyoung nods, grabbing an orange before seamlessly peeling it while reading the last few paragraphs that were on your laptop screen, eyes scanning slowly but moving at a darting pace that it may look like she’s in a rush. “this story seems pretty interesting. where’s your journal.” 

“oh, it’s in my bag next to you. i didn’t put an entry in yet for today, but i was planning to.”

“what was gonna be today’s report for this journal log, y.n?” 

pursing your lips, you’re humming while the brain cells try to come up with a sufficient answer to chae’s question. “i dunno.” you say, tapping your cheek with a single finger before snorting out of nowhere. chaeyoung also laughs while you’re trying not to meet her face. “what? what’s so funny?” 

“it’s nothing.” you start. “i think i was going to do something more of the theme of acceptance.” 

“acceptance?” 

“coming to terms with something.” 

chaeyoung nods, swapping places with you, standing up as opposed to you sitting down in front of your laptop, staring again at the new blank page on the screen before opening a new page in your journal next to the left side. 

“penny for your thoughts?” chaeyoung asks. 

“is dr. son chaeyoung p.h.d in the office by any chance?” 

“she is now.” she replies, smiling while tossing an orange slice into her mouth. “do you mind if i–?” 

tilting your head, already knowing what her question was gonna be, “you don’t need to ask.” you say to her, standing up before reaching above the portion of the wall over the refrigerator to shut off the smoke detector. 

—

“i need your help with something. writers block” you start again with chaeyoung.

“with what? what are you trying to type, or write?” she asks you, the cigarette between her mouth before taking it off and blowing the air to the open window next to her. 

you’ve been friends with chaeyoung since the beginning of high school, it’s been long enough to the point that you and her know every single little detail about each other. from the bra sizes, to the different tastes of music. everyone had always complimented the contrasting vibes that you two gave off with chaeyoung being more artsy and individualistic as to you being more refined and structured. 

there was one entry that you’ve always wanted to write or at least put to the damn book that shares all of your deepest and darkest secrets hidden away from the world that will never see the light of day. 

you were in love with chaeyoung.

chaeyoung doesn’t know that.

because chaeyoung doesn’t like girls. she likes pretty girls, but somehow got swept up with a guy named zion. 

zion, however, is a saint. he’s respectful, understanding, similar to the vibes that you give off which chaeyoung likes. you could say that he is you personified as a guy.

but in the end, zion isn’t you. 

“so there’s this love story between these two characters.” beginning again while chaeyoung gave her full attention. “i’ve built up a lot of tension between them, but i’ve been stuck on how to get past the frustrated confession of love.” 

“when was the last time you really tried to dig deep into writing something like that?” 

“a while ago. you saw the journal entries that i had about feelings that were unclear for someone.” 

“can you show me? or do you at least remember what you were trying to go for when writing?” chaeyoung asks you, looking at the journal with the blank page and the pen against the spine of the booklet. 

“uh, let me see if i can find it,” you reply, flipping through the pages of the neat and scribbled writing before stopping, “there we go.” turing it around and sliding it for chaeyoung to read. she’s helped you get out your thoughts beforehand. if it weren’t for her, god help you for being in a different state compared to now. 

“what’s this?” she asks, pointing to the topic next to the faded date and time. 

“oh, the title? anecdotes.” you answer her, stopping your typing on the keyboard. “i’ve been writing thoughts down like these to see if i can crank out a big, sweeping scene that hits all the emotional checkmarks.” 

“it was that one morning from that one sleepover we had with the girls, looking at your hair, because you’ve been thinking about whether to cut it. but your hair has so much volume, and so dense, so when you grow it out like this, it looks thick. it suits you.” 

chaeyoung looks up with an arched eyebrow, unsure if she was okay to continue, so you nod. 

“i know you hate styling your hair, so i thought, ‘it looks good like this. unstyled, but full and curly. don’t cut it.’” 

“i’ve been planning for your birthday present for at least 6 months. two rolls of 35 mm film. a screen protector. a scrapbook with pockets that have the right size for your instant photos. the brand of those star-shaped pimple patches you asked me about that one night while staying over.” 

“that first time we saw each other after i got dumped by that one girl one the cheer team who wasn’t into me. i made fun of how you kept yelling at me in the parking lot of how stupid and much of a people pleaser i was.” 

while she was reading aloud, you see the last sentence on your document be something along the hurtful tone of hate. (“this pain i’m carrying, it’s unbearable. but at the same time. it’s perfect in a way to where i can handle it, but i still have a dissatisfaction towards you.”) 

“i admired the way you text me, despite how dry and open ended they were. like a rupi kaur poem, the broken sentences structure like her books. you loved it anyway, and it made you emotional.” 

“i remember you started texting me like that as a joke, but then i realized that i was also doing the same form of texts to my other friends and even my parents.” 

“i’m sorry,” chaeyoung snorts. “this is too interesting and i can’t tell if you’re doing a journal entry or putting me through a whirlwind of fucking relateable.” 

some of it– you stop your train of thought before the words can even leave your lips, “i don’t know what i was doing that day, but i tried to emulate something more of a confession of sorts, but this isn’t me or anyone else. i’m just going off the top of my head.” 

chaeyoung flips through the single page, shocked at how muchw as there on the front and back. “jesus y/n, you really put yourself in the blender for this.” she says, nodding at how much content was put into that one specific entry. 

“are you gonna keep reading or are you done?” 

“shut up, i’ll keep going.” chaeyoung bats an eye at you, pulling the journal closer to her like she’s the one protecting her secrets. 

“i recently realized that i’m terrible at keeping my feelings covert. i’ve been trying to keep my interactions with you comfortable and friendly. then i realized i’ve been catching myself notice and point out the shirt that you look like you’d wear, and i’m up to my tenth movie out of the many favorites.” 

you’re hoping chaeyoung realize that everything that’s she’s reading the feelings that you’ve been keeping from her after all this time, knowing that if she did find out, it would put everything between you two into a sinkhole of ‘i shouldn’t feel this way, and it would ruin our friendship’ kind of deal. 

“when we became friends, i thought of you as a dreamer and a reserved romantic. i liked the way you took an unapologetic approach at the things you cared about in your life.” 

chaeyoung stops to finish the last bits of her cigarette before tapping the ashes in the sink, clearing her throat before speaking. “are you sure this was to help you get your writing creativity up?” 

“yes,” you say, typing away on the doc to most likely finish up the story. “there’s not much after that part so finish it.” 

she pouts, inhaling before looking at the last couple of sentences.

“it’s been a while, probably more than a year. i forget. while a lot happened since then which altered my perception of you, i still think fondly of the romantic dreamer.” 

“y/n, who is this about?” chaeyoung asks, and you’re trying to fight the wave of tears building up in your eyes. 

“it’s not about me.” you say, jaw clenching because your heart will burst if the truth was let out. “that entry is never about me.” 

chaeyoung looks down again and continues: 

“i try not to sit around you and shit like that. it feels like there’s a spark when you crack a joke and they bounce off of it. i don’t say anything. because i know that you’ll chalk it up to just friendship, and i’ll say ‘i know, don’t remind me.’” 

“i notice all the things about you in the time you’re in my life. the way you angle your shoulders when pressed. there’s a note on my phone where you rambleed all of the things you wanted to do when we have our trip to tokyo.”

you look down in disappointment. 

“i walked you back to your place when you found out that mina didn’t feel the same way about you, how the keys to your house have this little star key ring attached to it. even though it was late, you said, ‘i have an extra ramen pack left, do you want to eat it with me?’” 

chaeyoung looks up, noticing that there’s a scribble at the last sentence before flipping back to the front side of the journals’ page. “why’s the last line scribbled?” 

you finish typing the last letter of the sentence, the whole story really, “that sentence when i wrote it in there didn’t have much of a significance of impact that i wanted it to be.” 

“but what did it say?” 

you sigh, rubbing your face to hide the sniffle that broke out from your nose before drinking the glass of water next to you, placing it down after and returning your gaze on chaeyoung. “the sentence said: ‘and with all of these things in my mind about you, i thought to myself. i hope i get to love you in this lifetime.’”

chaeyoung parts her lips, appalled and moved with the thourgful entry that may or may not have destroyed her emotionally. you always had a way with words that make people on your little blog come back for more works to read. “do you think these have got anything in them?” you ask, closing the journal before setting in your handbag next to you. 

“they do, but not for a scene like that.” chaeyoung answers, voice stern, but helpful enough for you to accept her opinion. “maybe the love your anecdotes are about aren’t big for the big sweeping moment you’re trying to get.” 

she’s right, maybe all of these hidden feelings should have a place to stay, like the numerous amounts of secrets inside that small book, they too should not be let out for anyone to hear or read. 

“you’re writing about quiet love.” 

you look at chaeyoung who has a heartfelt smile across her lips, caring for what you were trying to do, and you just have to accept the fact that your feelings will never reach out to her. chaeyoung’s phone rings on the table, looking at it before her face lights up. “yay! z just got off of work and he’s on his way here.” 

“oh, so you were just dropping by?” you ask stupidly, forgetting that chaeyoung texted you about coming by to chill before having her date with zion prior to writing. even if you were gonna say anything, a honk is heard outside the house, “that’s him probably.” chaeyoung says, walking back to the front door with you behind her. 

you see zion in his decked out sports car, something that fits his vibe (and yours too) while chaeyoung turns around to give you a needed hug which was always comforting. “guess i’ll see you later?” 

“one more thing,” you ask, “do you think i should change the ending of the story?” 

“maybe.” chaeyoung simply says, and your heart just sinks. 

soon after she left, you open up your laptop to the same google doc that’s completed, but you’re thinking about the time where she read all of those things in that journal. it wouldn’t hurt to put one more sentence just for good measure before posting up on the blog without giving a care if people liked reading it or not. 

so you type: 

“if i can love the wrong person this much, imagine how much i can love the right person.” 

#hyunie #kpop x reader #twice x reader #chaeyoung x reader #twice chaeyoung #son chaeyoung #twice imagines #chaeyoung imagines #chaeyoung angst #twice angst #son chaeyoung x reader

[twice-inamillion]

MasterList

Twice Interactive Story

Character List Babies character list

Parts 1-76. Part 77-147

Part 1-16: The Beginning

Part 17-20: Sharon’s First Attack

Part 21-46: Mina’s (Sharon’s) Consequences

Part 47-53: Dahyun Sexually Interested

Part 53-58:Jihyo’s Baby

Part 59-61: Dahyun’s Mistake

Part 62-65: Jihyo’s Reaction

Part 66-68: Mina’s Pregnancy

Part 68.5-70: Confirming Your Love

Part 71-72: Morning Sickness

Part 73-74: The Blues

Part 77: Sneaking In For A Good Time

Part 78-79: Time With Family

Part 80-83: Making Up

Part 84-89: A Moment With Family

Part 88.5 Side Story :(Midnight Snack)

Part 90: Time Abroad

Part 91-94: Coming Back To Mina

Part 95-95: Dahyun’s Secret

Part 99-100 Side Story: Questioning

Part 99.5-103: Mina’s Babies Coming Home

Part 104-108: In Trouble Again

Part 109-112: Dahyun’s Secret/Time with the kids

Part 113: Mina A Good Girl?

Part 114: Mystery Woman

Part 115-118: Member’s Sharing Experience

Part 119-121: Threesome with Michaeng

Part 122-124: Chaeyoung’s Aftercare

Part 125-127: Mina’s Breakdown

Part 128-129: Dahyun’s Move

Part 130: Dahyun’s first lactating experience

Part 131: The Mina Blues

Part 132: Family Date

Part 133: OC’s late night drink

Part 134: Morning Breakfast

Part 135: Family Date with Dahyun

Part 135.1 Side Story: Disappearing Act

Part 135.2 Side Story: Lessons Learned

Part 135.3 Side Story: Baby Talk

Part 135.4 Side Story: Day Trip

Part 136: Time Skip

Part 137: Strawberry Princess nude apron

Part 138: Recollection and Future

Part 139: Breakfast with Dahyun

Part 140: Potential Baby Names

Part 141: An upset Dahyun

Part 142: Plan to rescue Mina

Part 143: Attacked by Mystery woman

Part 144: Morning after the attack

Part 145: Arriving to Japan

Part 146: Busy day with Sana

Part 147: Is that Mina?

Part 147.5 Side Story: Confession

Part 148: Heartbreak

Part 149: Late Night Desire

Part 150: Confronting Mina

Part 151: Mina’s Breakfast

Part 152: Sana’s Bathroom Surprise

Part 153: Sana’s Last Try

Part 154: Coming Home

Part 155: Christmas Tree Decoration

Part 155.5 Side Story: Heart Felt

Part 156: Jihyo’s Date

Part 156.5 Side Story: Missing You

Part 157: Dahyun’s Date

Part 157.5 Side Story: Bathhouse

Part 158: Reeducating Chaeyoung

Part 159: Christmas Together

Part 159.5 Side Story: Reunion

Part 160: Jisoo’s 1st Birthday

Part 161: Sana’s Birthday Wish Part 1

Part 162: Sana’s Birthday Wish Part 2

Part 162.5 Side Story: Birthday Gift

Part 163: New Years Eve/New Years Day

Part 164: Time Skip 2019

Part 164.1 Side Story: Further Learning

Part 164.2 Side Story: Tell All

Part 165: Jihyo’s 22nd Birthday

Part 166: Dahyun’s Last Pregnancy Sex

Part 166.5 Side Story: Aftermath

Part 167: Welcome to the family little tofu

Part 167.5 Side Story: Coming Home

Part 168: Momo’s First Time

Part 168.5 Side Story: Getting Handsy

Part 169: Ari and Hina’s First Birthday

Part 169.5 Side Story: Peeping

Part 170: Twice X Pocari Sweat

Part 171: Chaeyoung’s BestFriend

Part 172: Jihyo’s Special Vacation

Part 172.5 Side Story: Surprise Visitor

Chapter 173: Coming Home To A Surprise

Chapter 173.5 Side Story: Early Gift

Master List 2

Twice Dome Arc

Chapters 174-180

Fancy Arc

Chapter 181- 197

Twicelights World Tour Arc

Chapter 198-

#twice #twice smut #kpop smut #twice fluff #kpop fluff #male reader #twice angst #kpop angst #twice nayeon #twice jeongyeon #twice momo #twice sana #twice jihyo #twice mina #twice dahyun #twice chaeyoung #twice tzuyu

[dontbesadsanaexist]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

Jihyo x fem!reader

Warning: angst

Word count: 940

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"I like you."

Her eyes widened in surprise and her lips curved into a smile. "Me?" A few meters away from both of us we could hear loud voices and laughs, indicating that the others haven't left yet.

It wasn't supposed to be like that.

Yeah, I didn't want to say it in front of the school gate, where everybody could hear me. If I would've known what she was going to say I would've keep this to myself, and kept daydreaming about something that is never going to happen. But the temptation to even try something was to high.

So I waited.

After the drama class when everybody was leaving to go home. It was winter. As a result the night came quickly, and we had, for only lights outside, the bright glow of the street lamps.

Even though Chaeyoung was with me, I still felt my hands trembling, the hands I previously put in my pocket to warm myself.

She was the last one to passed the metal gate. Her bike by her side, she walked towards me and Chaeyoung, thinking we would do the ride home together as always.

"So, what did you want to tell me?"

Chaeyoung gave me a look that said everything. She was the one that has always encouraged me to confess. Coward as I am, that idea never crossed my mind. Until she brought it up one day, and it didn't seem to leave her head since then.

Her feet gave a small push on my leg to get me to talk.

"I- Can we go, like, far from the others? I don't want them to hear."

"Sorry, my parents expect me to be home in 15 minutes. Just tell me, they can't hear you from here."

That's right, she didn't know so of course she didn't expect it to be such a big deal.

Chaeyoung saw my nervousness. And as a good friend she is, she decided to spoke up for me.

"She likes a girl but she's too shy to tell you."

...What ?

My brain took some time to comprehend the information just as I heard jihyo giggle.

"It's just that? Who is it?"

I look up at Chaeyoung to ask some help but she just pushed me more to tell her.

"Come on, just say it."

A big sigh left past my lips as I played with my fingers. My eyes didn't dare to look into her owns. I thought that maybe, I was going to fall into some trance that I couldn't escape, like every time I stare at her.

"The person... is you."

"Me ? Really?"

I wasn't expecting such a quick response. When my eyes met hers she had that sort of glow in them, as if I just gave her the gift she'd always wanted.

The warmth at my side left as Chaeyoung grab her bag from the floor and put it on her shoulder.

"Finally, I'll leave you both alone now."

Son Chaeyoung what the fuck were you doing?!

That's what I wanted to say, but my lips where already sealed from the confession. My heart was beating loudly in my chest now that I was left with my long time crush. And by long time I mean 2 years.

I heard the sound of a bike's wheel moving. Jihyo was walking slowly, as if she was signaling me to follow her. The first seconds were an awkward silence. Until she broke it.

"How long has it been?"

"Two years, maybe? I mean, I've realized this year but.. Yeah it's been two years."

She let out a nervous chuckle and looked at me.

"Sorry, you know I'm het-"

"I know."

She nodded her head and kept her gaze on the floor.

"But I've already crushed on a girl, Sana, I think Chaeyoung already told you."

Yeah, you even kissed her. How is that suppose to be considered straight?

"I know that too."

She smiled as if it was going to save her from this embarrassing situation. We walked a bit more until it was time to go separate ways. Before I could turn my back she stopped me.

"You know, I'm happy that you told me."

I just hummed and turned away from her, ashamed of myself. I was so focused on wiping my wet cheeks that I didn't hear her shouting my name.

A buzz in my pocket brought me out of my thought. The screen lighted my face in the dark. It was a message.

-'Did Chaeyoung forced you to tell me?'

-'... A bit?'

I didn't lie. She was the one who would always come up with the idea that she was going to love me back, just like she loved Sana. My hope obviously covered my rational thoughts, and the stupid part of my brain showed up.

-'I've already told you this but, I'm really happy that you told me :)'

She is lying, even that little emoji at the end couldn't hide it. I know she is feigning happiness. She was everything but happy. I know that if she could, she would have change class, and even country. I must disgust her so much, it's okay, I disgust myself too.

I let her message on seen as I put my phone back to my pocket. The bus was coming in 4 minutes, which left me enough time to cry without people judging me from afar.

But I didn't let my tears fall down again. It was my fault. I shouldn't have imagined such things with her. Romantic dates, movies... God I was so stupid. I knew how it was going to happen.

I look up at the sky, a cold breeze raised some of my hair. When I think about it, it was at this moment that the lights in the dark blue sky turned off, as if the stars had stopped shining.

Yeah, I knew all of this,

But why does it still hurt?

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

It's quite small, but I really waited to publish something.

Hope you like it :)

(You can cry, I'll cry with you)

#Twice #Jihyo #Fluff #Angst #Chaeyoung

[mandu-17]

Always been you | Kim Minnie x reader

Part 2

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: Hiii could you do an exes to lovers!au with Minnie from (G)I-DLE please? thank you (:

Warnings: Drinking champagne, one vulgar word, cheating

Genre: ANGST lovedwritingittho!!

Wordcount: ~ 3,624

A/N: just so you know both Lisa and Rosé are NOT idols in this scenario, Rosé is reader’s current girlfriend. enjoy reading and have a beautiful week:)

To many, Nicha Yontararak was known as (G)-IDLE’s vocalist - Minnie. But truth be told, she was far more beyond that. To Minnie, learning languages was a piece of cake. She was even good at whistling. A great dancer, gifted songwriter, promising actress, passionate pianist.

And most importantly, your first love.

Long before Nicha even began dreaming of becoming an idol, the two of you were best friends. Well, more acurately, it was the three of you against the world. Lisa was your shared friend from school. She even helped Nicha and you get together since both of you were utterly clueless about your true feelings for each other. Those were the days, you thought with a melancholic look in your eyes. Careless and beautiful. Everything was way easier back in school. The three of you used to hang out daily after classes, do homework together, watch silly tv shows.

After Nicha left to Korea, nothing changed between Lisa and you. If possible, you got even closer in order to heal from losing a friend. Nicha was incredibly busy with trainee lifestyle and then soon after debuting it was a rarity when she’d have time to reach out to old friends. Lisa stayed in touch with her though. Despite everything, their bond was solid enough to last. You, however, weren’t that strong.

Long distance relationships never appealed to you. Nicha had to accept your point of view, she was aware that leaving Thailand would be equal to losing you. Obviously, the decision was probably the hardest one she ever had to make. It took her long weeks of overthinking and sleepless nights. Many difficult conversations had to be done before the two of you officially said your goodbyes. It was heartbreaking for both of you especially considering how young you were back then.

Nevertheless, it made you who you are today. Everything happens for a reason and breaking up with Nicha was necessary to make you stronger as a person. It led you to your position right now. With a stable job, new apartment and lovely people in your life you really got to forget all the pain you went through during that period of time.

“You ready?” Besides, you still had Lisa.

She never changed, you smiled at your reflection in the mirror. Still had that amusing habit of walking inside your home without knocking. Frankly speaking, she spent around half of her time at yours.

“Almost, yes.” You straightened your shirt as Lisa joined you in the bedroom grinning from ear to ear.

The reason behind that smile was the fact that Minnie and her band mates were currently on tour with few days off in Thailand which presented a perfect occasion for a ‘small get together’ as Lisa called it. She was so excited about Minnie visiting home, she drove in the pouring rain in the middle of the night straight to you so she could pass the message in person.

It had been an adorable sight, her eyes shining so brightly while her whole body was drenched from the rain. Although a part of you was very hesitant about going. You couldn’t remember the last time you actually saw Minnie, sure she was on numerous billboards all around the city, here and there on the tv. But being in the same room as her? Talking to her? And about what? What if it’d be weird? Would it be awkward? Probably.

Truthfully, you were afraid of facing her after all these years. Afraid of what you might feel while seeing her up close.

From what you saw, she’s gotten even more beautiful nowadays, more confident. She grew up to be this attractive celebrity - what if she changed? What if her feelings for you changed as well?

You could go on and on about what ifs, luckily Lisa was there to calm you down. She truly insisted on going. She promised that Minnie was the same sweet girl she used to be. You saw it in Lisa’s eyes. It was important to her that you’d go too. She announced that without you, she wouldn’t go either.

To ease your stress, Lisa even suggested you asking Rosé to go as your date.

Rosé was your new girlfriend, it’d been around three months since you became official. You met her at work as she was sent in delegation from Australia. It clicked immediately. Rosé asked you out. First it was coffee, then dinner, later she needed a guide around the city. Admirably, she was able to keep finding new things she might have needed your help with. Language barier was her most often used excuse. That’s how much she cherished your comapny. After many dates, she had the courage to let you know that she liked you more than a friend. She fell in love, she admitted.

Your relationship with Rosé truly made you see colors again. With no doubt she was a wife material, the sweetest soul you’ve got to known. Her family was also very fond of you. They kept thanking you for taking care of her in a foreign country. It was painfully clear to see how much they missed her. Rosé also never hid her homesickness from you. So when she told you about going back to Australia for her mom’s birthday, your heart jumped out of joy. With your relationship still fairly new, there was no pressure for you to go with her and meet everyone. There would for sure be many other opportunities for that. In fact you wanted Rosé to spend this time while fully enjoying her family’s presence. Only later did you realize that it’d be the exact same weekend that Minnie was organizing her get together.

So, now you were screwed.

Of course Rosé, being the wonderful woman she is, was ready to cancel the flight and stay with you. Sometimes she was impossible. You had to physically drag her to the airport to make sure the gifts she bought didn’t go wasted.

With Rosé away, Lisa became your only lifeboat.

“You look great! How are you feeling?”

“Very nervous, let’s just get this over with.” You sighed loudly.

“Relax, Y/N. An hour from now you’ll be tipsy and just having fun.” Lisa wiggled her eyebrows while dancing with her shoulders.

You did not have it in you to ruin her mood. She deserved to be happy, you wanted to see her this lively as often as possible.

“True, that’s a very realistic scenario.” You raised your index finger up to her while agreeing. “We should probably get going.”

With a giggle, Lisa helped you pack most important things to your bag before you were finally able to leave the apartment.

The contrast between your silhouettes was hilarious, anyone could put an imaginary line between Lisa and you. She walked in happy skips, her hair were bouncing up and down her shoulders - everything about her screamed ‘excited’ and ‘ready to party’. On the other side, you were walking very slowly, the feeling of your heart rapidly beating in your chest made you sigh heavily from time to time. Although, you had to admit with a ghost of a smile, a little part of you was looking forward to seeing Minnie again. A little ray of hope made its’ way to your mind trying to convince you that tonight was going to be eventful.

In the elevator with cozy music playing, Lisa and you were chatting freely about your days when your phone dinged announcing that you got a message.

Corners of your lips raised when you saw Rosé’s selfie - she wanted to show off her newest purchase which happened to be matching Minnie Mouse hoodies.

You gulped thickly. What a funny coincidence.

~

Nothing really changed in Nicha’s family house. It remained looking very classy and elegant. Now the living room full of wooden accents was crowded, especially around the piano that was busied with Nicha and her mom playing cheerful melodies. (G)-IDLE’s members were trying to sing along, other guests and Minnie’s family clapped to the rhythm.

Lisa and you arrived fashionably late, but seeing the heartwarming scene that welcomed you, you thought it was probably worth it.

“Lisa! Y/N! You’re finally here!” Minnie’s dad was the first one who saw you entering the room. His hair got far more grayer, you quickly noticed although you worried nothing after he sent you that same, warm smile of his.

His words made many heads turn to look at you curiously. By the corner of your eyes you spotted few people whispering between themselves, but for you time stopped the second Minnie looked at you.

“It’s been so long since I last saw you!” Her mom beamed before approaching the two of you with her arms widely opened. “Lisa, how are you doing?”

Firstly, she embraced Lisa which gave you a minute to clear your head. It certainly didn’t work when you noticed Minnie not taking her eyes off you on her way to greet you as well.

“Y/N! I missed you so much, how are you?” Minnie’s mom crushed you in a warm hug, she always treated you and Lisa like her own children. Heart of this woman for sure was made of gold.

Minnie’s dad didn’t even let you reply as his arms wrapped around you tightly, it seemed like he also missed you deeply.

“I’m good, it’s very nice to see everyone again.” You smiled at the parents while also addressing Minnie’s brothers. Long ago they all were your family. You forgot how much they cared for you and how easy it was to just be yourself in their company, in their home. For some reason, you fitted there incredibly. They were your people. Even after all this time, you were able to feel their warmth and kindness towards you.

“You grew up so fast. We’re very proud of you.” Minnie’s dad got you melting with his words and that friendly glint in his wife’s eyes had your knees go weak. You wished to keep talking to them for the whole evening, but it turned out you became one of the highlights of the event. Everybody who already knew you from times when Minnie and you were dating, was eager to catch up with you or at least say ‘hi’. It was quite enjoyable, a bit weird feeling overall, but at least you were able to ignore the reason of the whole get together for some more time.

You knew you’d have to face Minnie sooner or later, but the fact that you could delay it brought you some sense of comfort.

She knew what you were doing.

Not only did Lisa betray you and straight up exposed your discomfort to Minnie while texting on the way here, Minnie simply still remembered your habits when being nervous. And now it was hard not to notice the way your eyebrows kept furrowing from time to time or how much you gesticulated while speaking about non-complicated things. So when Minnie finally saw you getting yourself a glass of champagne alone, she immediately made up her mind.

“Long time no see, huh?” The way your whole body stiffed was so visible, she almost smirked.

“Minnie, hi. How does it feel to be back?” You turned around to look at her for the first time this closely. Divine, was the only word that could describe her evenly.

“I’m very happy to spend some time with friends and family.” Minnie stepped closer in order to also grab a glass of expensive drink. She then raised it up to make a small, intimate toast with you.

You gulped at the sudden proximity and how Minnie leaned in to nearly whisper in your ear. She was still using the same perfumes, you realized, feeling brave enough to eventually meet her eyes.

“I’m glad you came, Y/N.”

Nothing changed in the way she was looking at you. That precious glint that was in her eyes once ago, was still present. She smiled innocently, as if she had no idea about her impact on you.

You have a girlfriend, you idiot.

Rational voice came back. Although, it was unachievable to think about anything else while being this close to your first love.

~

It was a terrible mistake to come here.

Wherever you glanced there was a piece of old memories embracing you. Paintings on the wall, blankets, your favorite cups, even the sight of the garden itself was reminding you of your home dates with Minnie. When her parents worked late and she invited you over. Her brothers often spent time with you as well, all four of you playing cards and board games. There were also many times when Lisa joined for sleepovers or long movie marathons.

It was overwhelming. Slowly becoming too much. You felt trapped in your own nostalgic mind with nothing to ground yourself with. You tried so desperately to think about Rosé, praying that she was here with you to squeeze your hand. She was way too good for you. Your emotions that night proved that you did not deserve her.

Your arm was slightly shaking while getting the third glass of champagne and it certainly was not the alcohol intake. That’s when you heard it.

River flows in you.

The first song that Minnie played for you.

The song that Minnie used to ask you to be hers.

The last song she was listening to before leaving Thailand.

It was your song.

You turned to the piano, Minnie was playing it effortlessly. Delicate notes wandering around the room made everyone admire her talent yet again. There was this sad frown on her face. It was killing you. Physically, you couldn’t catch a breath. You felt like crying.

Then you suddenly felt someone wrap their arms around you from behind.

“Remember when we used to dance to this song?” Minnie’s mom smiled against your shoulder blade causing you to relax.

“Beautiful times.” Your hands joined hers on your waist, while she swayed you left and right.

It was often exactly like this. Minnie playing, her mom and you dancing or rather her teaching you how to dance properly. If Minnie’s dad was around he’d usually take photos of you three or took care of the fireplace. So simple yet so meaningful. Just like the embrace you were currently in. Warmth radiating from Minnie’s mom eased your anxiety while soothing you. She just knew what to do. She always did.

You turned around once the song came to an end in order to thank her for the dance. You bowed your head to her before exchanging small but important smiles.

“Y/N, you’re still my favorite.” She winked at you.

“Mom!”

Both of you glanced at Minnie who just approached you. She shot her mom a stern look, warning her not to make things worse. The older woman chuckled.

“We’re not together anymore.” Minnie clenched her jaw.

It hurt when she said it.

“I think I should go.” You saw Minnie’s mom open her mouth. “I’ll just go find Lisa first.”

Hurriedly, you walked over to the couch where, as you assumed correctly, Lisa was animatedly talking to one of Minnie’s members - Yuqi. This emotional rollercoaster had to end. This was enough. Far beyond to the point you already felt like a piece of shit laying in the pouring rain.

“Lisa, we’re going home. Come on.” Your friend eyed you oddly, she was in the middle of a certainly entertaining conversation with the Chinese woman. With her arm resting on Yuqi’s thigh, she was definitely comfortable and not ready to leave.

“The party’s still going, though. Look, Yuqi and I are having a lot of fun. You should join us-” You knew that tone perfectly. Lisa was way too drunk now to go home. She was at the peak of enjoying herself. Thankfully, you knew you didn’t have to worry about her safety that much because it was usually the point when she’d stop drinking and feel the alcohol taken in by now. “I’m so tired. What time is it?”

With a defeated sigh, you glanced at your lockscreen. Rosé’s smiley picture was staring back at you. You were disgusted with yourself.

1:53 AM.

“Almost two in the morning.”

“How about you two stay the night?” Yuqi chimed in with a nervous smile. When you made eye contact, it seemed like she could already feel your conflicted vibe and didn’t want to make the situation worse. As a matter of fact, Lisa and you were introduced to all of (G)-IDLE’s members earlier that night. Although, you weren’t sure if she knew about what your history with Minnie was. “It might be dangerous to go home with this sleepy cat.”

“Yes. Let’s sleep here, Y/N.” Lisa’s eyes shut the moment she put her head on Yuqi’s shoulder. “Minnie will cuddle with you.” She mumbled quietly, so it was only Yuqi who chuckled.

“They’re right.” Minnie spoke from behind you. “I think it’d be safer if you stayed.”

She gulped when you glanced her way. You looked exhausted with your lips pressed into a thin line and furrowed brows, on top of that your skin was very pale. To Minnie, you were perfect. She always admired your physics not mentioning how in love she felt with your personality. Even that quick eye contact with you had her heart racing.

If she could only turn back time.

The very first thing she’d do, would be not losing you. Not breaking up and surely not giving up on your relationship. She’d never let go. You deserved someone to fight tooth and nail for you - sadly, she realized it way too late. That Rosé girl better treat you right, Minnie suddenly thought remembering the name from her conversation with Lisa.

“Okay. Let me just get a breath of fresh air.” Tiredly, you dragged your feet to the garden.

Thailand’s hot breeze filled the surroundings making it easier to breathe in and out. You kept your head up to the night sky, the stars were outstanding. They competed for your attention with the lovely panorama of the whole city. Diving deeper into the garden, your nostrils were pleasantly taking everything around in. The flowers blossomed, they added a refreshing feeling. Finally, you sat down on a bench made of stone.

Your thoughts were getting clouded, you began wondering why on Earth did you get to this place. Not garden, specifically.

But this huge hole in your heart. You were shaken up at the idea of Minnie making you feel so many things despite not seeing her for so long. You had a girlfriend, after all. Rosé would be very disappointed.

A sudden loud thud followed by the sound of glass breaking made you jump in your spot. You quickly got up and found out what caused it.

“Great.” Minnie groaned annoyed with a box dropped on the floor. Champagne bottles flew out of it and two of them shattered into pieces. She was crouching down in order to put remaining complete bottles back to the box.

“Hey, be careful.” In a moment you were crouching in front of her, ready to help.

Minnie’s eyes were studying your features deeply before she sighed, aware of how the circumstances appeared to be. “I swear I’m not following you.”

You cracked a smile.

“I know. I’ll bring the broom, do you still keep it next to the trash containers?”

“Yeah, it’s still there.” Minnie would never dare to think that you’d remember such random thing about her house.

She chuckled to herself as she watched you round the corner. Her guts were telling her that it was like fate was screaming at her, laughing in her face.

'This is your person! Get them!'

Minnie wasn’t sure she’d be able to get over you again. It took her literal ages last time and as it seemed - she was still down bad for you. Why was it so complicated, she kept asking herself.

You came back with a broom only to immediately sweep the mess she caused. She was convinced you were her angel all along.

Unsurprisingly, no one noticed the accident. You were located in a part of the garden that provided a lot privacy, away from the windows and doors. Besides, everyone inside was still having fun, not really caring about anything outside the walls they were in.

“Y/N.” Minnie called, determined to let you know the truth. The whole, painful and uneasy truth.

You nodded for her to continue, while keeping your focus on the glass you were cleaning up. But it wasn’t enough for Minnie. Maybe you were afraid of meeting her eyes, you only did so a handful of times that night. And it frustrated her to no end. Slowly, she felt her self control decreasing.

So she stepped closer to you, craving your eyes on her.

You blinked at the sight of her shoes entering your field of view. With a gulp you raised your head meeting her puzzled expression. Minnie wanted to say something, but she had no idea where to even start. Distant chatter of the guests inside disappeared, you kind of forgot about the broom in your hands too.

It was a silent, long eye contact.

The tension in your body didn’t allow you to to move or inhale for that matter. You froze under Minnie’s incredibly intense gaze. Without any words, she managed to send you the message.

Her poor, fragile heart in palm of her hand.

Don’t do it.

Don’t you dare. You glanced at her lips.

Don’t even think about it. Her eyes already said yes.

Don’t do it.

You kissed her.

#kpop #kpop x reader #kpop girl groups #girl group scenarios #kpop scenarios #gidle #gidle x reader #kim minnie #minnie #nicha yontararak #minnie x reader #gidle angst #lisa #blackpink lisa #rose #park chaeyoung #blackpink rose #lalisa manoban #kpop gg #kpop imagines #kpop one shot #song yuqi #yuqi #gidle yuqi #exes to lovers #alternative universe #kpop angst #girl group angst #gg imagines

[happilychaengs]

Dreamscape

a/n: HAHAHAHA idk whatt his is. sosososo confsing. my head HURTS but ok! writers blockk so i forcedd mysefl to writte this earlir. im sorryy if its no bueno o no entiendes ;|

word count: 1,179

son chaeyoung x gender neutral reader

tw: she's dead. alluding to suicide at the end. please don't read if you're uncomfortable about this topic

ANGST

You sat at your desk, staring blankly at the computer screen in front of you. You had been staring at it for hours, but for the life of you, you couldn't focus. You were stuck in an endless cycle of monotony, the dull moment getting even duller by the second. You start to notice the clutter beginning to build on your desk. The stacks of unfinished papers, the empty pens you start to forget to throw out, and the tangled electrical cords that are seemingly unchangeable now.

You glazed over at the clock on the wall, watching the minutes tick by as the phone on your desk blared. You picked up, your voice lacking any expression. It was your boss calling. She asks a simple check up on your progress though it's all but simple. You lie and say it's going great. You hang up. Did you leave your stove on today?

You get lost in your thoughts as lunch break rolls around but you don't have the energy to get up. Your stomach rumbles but your eyes continue to stare blankly at your screen. Laughter rings out from the lunch area and it almost feels like you're missing out but then again you didn't have the energy to care. The hours start to pass by, you not getting a single word down. Not a single key pressed. Not a single spreadsheet finished.

Your boss threatens to fire you but her words are lost in transition. It's all nothing but a blur to you. Soon enough, you're walking out of the building with nothing but a box of random contents in your hands as you get in your car and drive down the same street you take everyday.

You park in the same spot you always do and walked in your apartment, the same routine seeming to follow suit. Looking out the window, you see nothing but a plain and simple darkness that sets the tone for the night.

You set the box down at the foot of your bed and walk into the bathroom, staring at the reflection of yourself. You slant your head and squint your eyes as you notice all the things about yourself you didn't seem to before. Was your hair always so unkempt? Were your the bags under your eyes always so dark? Were your eyes always so red and swollen?

Quickly averting your gaze, you pace back into your bedroom and lay down, staring at the bottle of pills on your bed side table. You pour a few into your palm as you tossed them into your mouth.

Quickly gulping down the medication, you laid your head to rest as you stared up at the white ceiling. It doesn't take long for it to kick into effect as you feel your eyelids droop and the world blurring around you.

Today your dreams offer you a change in scenery. A peaceful oasis in the midst of the bustling concrete jungle. Winding paths passed through the lush green grass, provided shade by the tall trees above. The sweet scent of flowers blooming in the spring covered the land as the chirps of bird played all around.

In the center was a pond, the water sparkling in the sunlight. Families of ducks paddled through as parents and children alike sat on the shore, throwing small pieces of bread in.

Off to one side stood a bench, nestled among the trees, covered by the branches. It was worn and weathered, smoothed over by the countless of visitors but still sturdy all the same. As you sat down, you couldn't help but feel a sense of piece and serenity while you stared outwards at the scene playing out in front of you.

Though a familiar scent soon floated around you, the fruity and tropical smells invading your senses. A girl sits down beside you and your head turns slightly as your mouth parts open, "I missed you."

You don't get a clear view of her face, only the silhouette of her nose and lips seen as her long blonde hair gets in the way and cascades down her shoulders. "Do you remember this?"

It's not long before you know what she's implying, a weak and pensive smile on your lips. "It's where we first met and it's where I kept trying to court you until you became my girlfriend. I'm surprised it worked."

Her posture is prim and proper with her hands on her laps, her back straight as you see her nod. "And what else?"

"And... it's... where you died."

You can hear her laugh softly as if you just told her a funny joke, "Do you remember how I look?"

A frown appears on your face as you feel the guilt over the years all pile up on you, you shaking your head, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay." Her tone is still soft, still being able to bring comfort to you. You don't say a lot to her after. Only a few tidbits of what's been going on in your life since as she sits there listening.

You start to wallow in silence as the both of you continue to stare out at the pond. Now the moon was atop the sky, reflecting across the pond and casting a pale glow over the park, the leaves gently rustling in the wind.

"I do miss you." She blurts out, "I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier."

And although nothing in her tone implies it, this moment between you two feels fleeting. Like it'll disappear at a moment's notice. All in the snap of a finger. She grabs ahold of your hand and you feel nothing but a cold grasp that shakes you to the bone, the world in your eyes fading before you.

You jolt awake from your bed, feeling like you've been dragged out from paradise. Like the floor has been pulled out from under you. You look outside the window again and the darkness has subsided, allowing the light to come in.

The thought of preparing for work crosses your mind but the box at the foot of your bed serves as a quick reminder that it would be a fruitless endeavor.

Still, your day is nothing shy of eventful as you lay in your bed, the dreamscape from the night before quickly invading your mind again. The line separating your two realities begins to blur as your mind lingers on the sight of her and how you felt now. Was the life you're living really better than her? Better than how she made you felt?

You eyed the bottle of pills on the table beside you. You wanted to dream forever and they offered it. You quickly fumbled with the bottle and poured out the rest of the contents into your palm, some falling to the floor while your hands started to shake as they approached your mouth. You paused at the last second as you glossed it over, the unexpected sight of her face flashing in your mind. You remembered.

Dreamscape it is.

#i lovepy loveyy loveyy dooveyy dovey dvey chae! #im sory chaeyougn ;(( but itss time to nap4 me #chaeyoung x reader #son chaeyoung x reader #chaeyoung angst #twice imagines #twice fic #twice scenarios

[cry4mina]

You can call me B. (They/She) This is a wlw/enbylw blog that will be mostly she/her pronouns or gender neutral.

I interact from @cry4minatwice

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#introduction #Twice #Twice x fem!reader #twice nayeon #twice jeongyeon #twice momo #twice sana #twice jihyo #twice mina #twice dahyun #twice chaeyoung #twice tzuyu #twice fluff #twice angst #twice smut #wlw #nayeon #jeongyeon #momo #sana #jihyo #mina #dahyun #chaeyoung #tzuyu